Naruto 1. Chapter 1

The Fun Just Never Stops

Or

I Love This City

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Naruto

...

"I'll tell you something, Ren…" the young woman managed to say around the cigarette she was lighting in her mouth. "I love this beautiful god-forsaken bloody city. I'll never; _never_ get bored of this. Its ab-so-fucking-lutly _fabulous_. It's perfect" the younger woman frowned and yanked the cigarette out of her friend's mouth. She threw it on the floor. Ren was nervous, the slightly older woman noticed. Maybe she shouldn't have bought her along. Still, it would do her good to know where her meals were coming from. Maybe she would stop taking money for granted. She didn't care either way. Money didn't exist. Her dad taught her that.

"What's your problem? Do you want to die?" The woman shrugged and took another one out of her pocket. There seemed to be an unspoken agreement there. Something about her shrug suggested the job would get her before the tobacco did. That's what you get for choosing the short, easy-money path of crime. Every moment of their lives was proof that crime didn't pay. Oh no, no it didn't. The money was fleeting, but the paranoia lasted forever. Because, in the words of the nameless woman, sooner or later, everyone fucks up.

Carelessly, the previously mentioned un-named woman flicked the detonator switch that lead, by means of small wires, to the vault door, coated as it was in explosive material of just about every kind… and dove for the floor before the blast took her head clean off. She dragged her less-experienced friend down with her. The explosion sent fragments of rock and brick crashing around them. Five minutes now to get in and get the hell out. Just enough time for a quirky catch-phrase, she thought.

She got to her feet, brushed the dust and debris off her clothes, opened her mouth to speak and then…

Bang. (_Louder, to her, than the explosion only moments before, she saw Ren's face fill with terror..._)

Pain. (_Oh, dear god. If there is even a god. Don't let Ren get hurt. Why isn't that idiot running?! The ground crept up to meet her halfway..._)

Nothing.

Blank.

...

Ibaraki Kyoko woke up.

It was dark.

She didn't know at first that her name was Ibaraki Kyoko, which is a very confusing state to awaken in, but there was a very helpful chart at the bottom of the bed that told her lots of things she didn't know about herself, like her age, date and place of birth, her exact dosage of painkillers for the exceptionally large fracture on her skull (upon reading this her hand shot up to her head, where she found tightly wrapped bandages and a large shaved patch. She almost freaked out then, but tried her best not to), and, oh so much more importantly, her name. That was a start. At least she had somewhere to start.

The first time Kyoko tried to stand her vision spun and blacked out. Her head throbbed with pain that had been momentarily blocked out by the surprise and the rest and the painkillers. She had absolutely no idea what was going on or where she was, which just added to her suffering. She sat back down eventually. Her legs hadn't been planning on holding her up for much longer and were just waiting for her brain to make some kind of decision. After a few moments she lay down. Her head hurt. Somehow she knew sleep would help. Her eyes sunk shut.

"What the hell is going on here?" she mumbled, burying her head in the pillows. By all means she should be terrified, but she was vaguely aware she was in a hospital, and the fact they know her name was comforting. It meant someone must have told them. It meant someone cared. She had no idea who, of course, but it was comforting anyway. Her pillow didn't answer her question, of course, but it still felt good to ask. Sooner or later, though, she would get an answer. Someone would tell her what the hell had happened to her

...

_Take back the city for yourself tonight…_

Next time Ibaraki Kyoko woke up it was light outside. Someone was playing a song on a laptop near her head. She pretended to be asleep, mostly because she didn't know if she could face other people just yet, but also partly because she almost, but not quite, remembered the song. The words seemed vaguely familiar.

There was a voice singing along. Kyoko frowned under her covers. The singing wasn't _bad_, per say. She wouldn't pay money to hear it, but she wouldn't run away either. The voice was just… _unfamiliar_, interrupting the song. She recognized the music, but as far as she was concerned the voice was just pretty noise. She neither knew nor cared who it was.

_All these years later and it's killing me, your broken records for words…_

She rolled over and tried to peek at the mystery person without making it obvious she was awake. She wasn't sure what she was expecting, but either way she was pleasantly surprised. A pretty, dark haired young woman, a few years older perhaps than Kyoko herself, sat on a small, uncomfortable chair Kyoko hadn't even notice the night before, or whenever it was she was last awake.

_No need to put your words into my mouth, don't need convincing at all…_

The stranger seemed to notice her move, and her sharp green eyes flicked up to Kyoko's, where they peeked out from between her duvet and her pillow. Hastily, Kyoko closed her eyes, but not soon enough. The woman noticed.

"Kyoko?" She opened her eyes. It seemed to be useless hiding now. Her confused blue eyes met the woman's piercing green. This was followed by the longest silence imaginable. It probably lasted no longer than a few minutes, but to them both it must have lasted a lifetime. Eventually, Kyoko realized she was expected to answer in some way. She tried, but she just couldn't find the name for the face. This was her only visitor and she had no idea who she was. As far as she was concerned this was a complete stranger.

_I love this place enough to have no doubts…_

"I'm sorry. I don't know who you are." She answered finally. She tried to sound sorry, but there was no emotion at all. She tried to care and she couldn't. A tear seemed to be forming in the stranger's eye. She found she didn't particularly care about that either. She couldn't help it. She didn't _know_ her. The song kept going in the background, forgotten. Occasionally Kyoko would catch an odd lyric or two. They were familiar, eerily familiar. But, try as she might, this woman wasn't.

_You can sing 'til you drop_

"I'm your sister, Kyoko. My name is Hanako" Kyoko just plain didn't know what to say to that.

"Oh" She let her mouth hang open.

'_Cause the fun just never stops._


	2. Chapter 2

The Fun Just Never Stops

Or

I Love This City

**Disclaimer:**I do not own Naruto

...

Kyoko's first day in the real world was like some new kind of hell, which would require a particularly cruel and morbid god to create it. The walls didn't so much close in as spread out. Spaces were too far apart, too empty, too lonely. Everything seemed about to swallow her, as though she would lose herself in the world. As though it would swallow her whole.

All in all, it wasn't a good day to meet Uzumaki Naruto. Then again, for someone as nervous as Kyoko, it never is.

"Hey lady!" he had shouted, despite the many "Quiet!" signs hanging everywhere. The Head Librarian, Kyoko's sister Hanako, was a big fan of silence. "My name is Uzumaki Naruto!" Kyoko hadn't known what to do except blink and stammer back:

"Hello?"

"You're a library person, aren't you?" Kyoko blinked again. Could people, like, smell the library on her? Did she stink of books (oh god, she thought, please don't say I look like a librarian)? It was ridiculous. She nodded, regretfully.

"I'm looking for a book." Kyoko nodded again. Most people entering a library are looking for books. Such was the way of these things. No-one had ever walked over to her and asked for a pizza, for example.

"You read?" she couldn't stop herself from blurting it out. It was the young man's turn to blink in surprise. Kyoko couldn't blame him. She herself was amazed by her own rudeness. She hadn't been aware that Ibaraki Kyoko was even capable of being so blunt and cruel.

Fortunately, he just carried on talking as though Kyoko had never even spoken, and she was able to find him his book without the awkward, angry silence that such a rude question thoroughly deserved (though, five minutes into her search, she really wished he would shut up for a minute. She distracted herself by wondering how he could breathe and talk at the same time and imagining what would happen if he suddenly forgot how).

Once she found him his book, she got back to work; happy in the knowledge the strange man now had something to distract him from talking. The blessed silence lasted all of about three minutes. "Excuse me, book lady?" She jumped a foot in the air and dropped "_Tales of a Shinobi_" on her foot. Unfortunately for her, there were many tales of a shinobi and thus, a very heavy book.

"What does it mean when you're "elected by popular vote"?" He asked, as soon as her foot recovered slightly. Kyoko blinked in surprise. Why read such a complicated political text-book if you can't even comprehend such a simple thing as election by popular vote?

"It means more people voted for you than anyone else" The young man looked confused, then triumphant.

"What, even more than Sasuke-baka and Gaara-kun?" It was Kyoko's turn to be confused.

"What? No! I mean, election by popular vote means getting more votes than your competitors!" she answered, annoyed by all the confusion.

"Oh" He looked downcast. "What's a vote?"

It was going to be a long day.

...

Ibaraki Hanako was having the time of her life, unlike her sister. She twirled in her spinney-chair, signed some important looking papers, shredded some more important looking papers and relaxed with a mug of hot tea. Life was good as Head Librarian. She didn't have to bother with the annoying, mind-bogglingly stupid, public. And she got to boss people around. It was the perfect job for her.

She scanned quickly through her emails. For a moment her eye stuck on one from somewhere in Suna. She stared at it for a moment, and then deleted it without even reading. Then she played an over-enthusiastic game of tetris. She thought she was damn good at tetris.

Then she got bored and made her assistant go buy her some biscuits. With her own money. For the fun of it, she told her if the biscuits weren't on her desk before her tea went cold, not only the poor girl's job, but her life, was on the line. Hanako giggled to herself, slightly crazed-ly.

She liked scaring the new kids. She had an all time record of driving her assistant crazy of four weeks and a day. She already had a running bet with her sister for how long this one would last, and she had only hired her the week before. She frowned. She only had two weeks to send this girl crazy

Not surprisingly, the poor girl had already developed a stutter and a nervous twitch. Hanako sighed and stared out the window. Those ten bucks were as good as hers. She wanted a new pot of foundation and maybe some chocolate. Mm, chocolate. She should have got her assistant to buy her chocolate. Oh well, the silly girl had to turn up soon or later.

Yes, life was good as Head Librarian.

After a while she got bored and played another game of tetris. She was damn good at tetris.

...

"Don't do that" Kyoko jumped and blinked in surprise.

"What?"

"Don't do that. Don't go all blank when no-one's around. It's scary. It's like you're in a different world or something." Kyoko was shocked. She hadn't even been aware she had been "all blank", besides, what else was she supposed to do when no-one was there? Who was she supposed to be when no-one was around? After all, personality is just what others think of you.

Hanako had her own reasons for not wanting her sister to be alone. Time alone meant time to think. And thinking could lead to all sorts of messy things, like remembering things and that lead to asking awkward questions about things Hanako would rather not talk about. She was running out of believable stories.

Speaking of awkward questions, here comes one now, she thought as her sister opened her mouth. Hanako knew it shouldn't, but every time her sister asked her a question she felt like shouting. It wasn't Kyoko's fault, she told herself, and it wasn't anyone's fault. She knew that. But sometimes she just forgot.

"Hanako?" she answered with something halfway between a grunt and a yes. Kyoko continued. "What happened to our parents?" And just like that, another careful lie fell in to place. Hanako was starting to run out of those.

"They're dead, Kyoko. They died when you were tiny" she answered, turning on the TV and flopping in to the nearby armchair. Kyoko never turned the TV on. She couldn't remember which shows she liked, so she just watched whatever Hanako wanted. She couldn't say she particularly liked the shows Hanako watched, but for all she knew, she might.

They didn't talk for a long while after that. There was nothing to say. Hanako ate her toast, and ignored the guilt churning in her belly. Well, if Kyoko even did remember, she'd have a lot more reasons to hate her sister than that little lie.

_...If?_ A mocking little voice whispered in her head. _Don't you mean... when?_

...

Not much exciting happened to them for almost a year. Kyoko settled in, eventually. She got to know the people who shared the small town of Konoha; she got into the rhythm of the village. But she wasn't happy. She had dreams of bright lights and an unstoppable beat. She dreamed of a city that never slept.

Things really started to shake up the day her post-traumatic-stress therapist told her she needed a warm, relaxing holiday to, in his own words, "Clear her head and rediscover herself" Kyoko wasn't sure when exactly she had undiscovered herself, but she was up for a holiday, somewhere hot and huge, full of life and danger and fun. That was why she chose Suna, in the heart of the desert sun. A bustling bee-hive of lives and loves and losses and wins. There was a place for anyone in Suna.

Her sister argued with her. Suna was dangerous, she said. Full of criminals and dead-beats just looking for a chance to rip off a gullible young woman like her. Kyoko answered that she had seen that TV documentary too, and besides, things had changed since the new Kazekage was elected. Hanako laughed and said he was just a boy. Kyoko laughed and said, wow, he's doing better than you, Head Librarian, _madam_.

Her sister changed her argument. Who would keep the library organized? Everyone said she did such a good job of it. Kyoko answered that she had just shoved books where there was room for them, it was easy really, and anyone could do it. Hanako sulked, but there was no way she was talking her sister out of this holiday. She had rented a dune-buggy and was planning on doing whatever the hell it was you did with a dune-buggy. She wasn't sure, but it seemed like the sort of thing she would like.

All in all, Kyoko was looking forward to her holiday. No-one was going to steal it from her, though that poor assistant of her sister's might qualify for a post-traumatic-stress holiday too. Though she might not even make it to her holiday. Hanako was a very hard person to argue with. Luckily, Kyoko had more experience in this matter than most.

Her sister, however, worried. She was allowed to worry, though. Worrying is what she did best.

...

Many, many miles away and very off course from our story, Takahashi Ren should be asleep. She should be, but she wasn't. The damn stupid baby was crying, and Kisho showed absolutely no signs of even having notice. Muttering things about parenthood being a shared partnership and how next time he can squeeze a melon through a hole the size of a straw and then do all the work, she made her way into the kitchen of the tiny one-bedroom apartment holding the screaming baby in her arms.

"What do you want?" she asked, almost crying. She was so, so, so, so sick of this. She was only a kid, herself. Barely sixteen years old. "What the hell do you want you little brat?!" She rocked the baby gently from side to side, and realised finally why she had needed the nameless woman so much. Oh god, why? Why did this happen to her? She looked at the burns on her walls, the place where the sofa used to be. She owed them a lot of money. Too much. She _needed _her.

No matter what Kisho said, they needed her. She couldn't keep living like this. Neither could Kisho nor Yukio. She and her boys deserved better. So much better. But without her, there was no money. And she was dead. Right when things started to look up for them, she died. Ren glared at the wall. One of these days, she would kill Yakamura Hanako. Oh yes, yes she would.

Ren did cry then. Fortunately, Kisho decided to wake up.

...

Ibaraki Kyoko was getting used to being Ibaraki Kyoko. She didn't like it much, however. Ibaraki Kyoko was so dull. Like, mind-numbingly dull. She still couldn't believe Ibaraki Kyoko was a librarian. She couldn't think of a more boring job if she tried. Ibaraki Kyoko imagined Ibaraki Kyoko as someone fun, with an interesting job and lots of friends. It's terrible to wake up one day as a librarian with no idea how you got there.

She woke up at six-thirty, like every morning. She had no idea why the Head Librarian (as her sister insisted on being called at work) demanded everyone be there at eight-thirty on the dot. No-one even started showing up until about mid-day, when the students from near-by Konoha Academy flocked to the library to get in a few extra study hours before their lunch time finished.

She got up, despite the little absurdities of life, showered, dressed and made her way downstairs. At least today was the last day before her holiday, she thought, pulling a brush through her thick, dark blonde hair. At exactly seven, she heard her sister's alarm clock go off upstairs. Kids by MGMT blasted through the house at top volume. There was a tell-tell thud on the ceiling above her, which marked Hanako's awakening. Without thinking, Kyoko re-filled the kettle. The music suddenly stopped. She could hear her sister's skipping footsteps on the stairs.

"'Morning, fish brains" yawned her sister, sitting on a barstool across the breakfast counter from Kyoko, still in her pyjamas. Kyoko laughed, you had to really. Besides, Hanako seemed to have forgotten that it was Kyoko making her tea at that moment. She handed her sister her mug without complaining.

"Thanks, darling" she said gratefully, taking a deep swig of her tea. She spluttered and coughed and spat tea all over her light blue pyjamas bottoms. Then coughed some more. Then she started sneezing. She looked up at her sister with watering eyes. "W-what t-the hell was t-that?!"

"Oh, deary me. Was that pepper I put in your tea?! Oh, crumbs. I must have _forgotten_"

...

"Chooo-choo" Kyoko mumbled disappointedly as the electric train slid silently into the station. Much like children seeing their first train, she expected a great, steaming, roaring monster. And, much like children seeing their first train, she was bitterly disappointed by the sleek, silent, dirty silver worm that crawled into the platform and just sat there, waiting (she had the strangest feeling it wanted to eat her...).

Hanako frowned at her. "What?"

Kyoko frowned back. "I didn't say anything"

"Yes you did."

"No I didn't"

"You did. You said "chew" or something"

Kyoko deepened her frown "You're making shit up now"

"I am not!"

"And I'm supposed to be the one who's lost the plot" she answered with a sigh, picking up her suitcase. She kissed her sister on the cheek and jumped aboard the train, and not a moment too soon. The doors hissed closed behind her and she waved to Hanako as the station slipped away.

She found her seat and fell asleep as Konoha's green forests streamed past.

By the time she woke up, the green was replaced with rolling dunes, and the warm blue, early-morning Konoha sky had disappeared and in its place was a great dome dominated by the yellow sun. The rays hit her face and warmed her. She woke up with a smile, at least. Even if at first she had no idea what she was doing there.

Her therapist had warned her about times like those. She just had to keep calm and let what little she knew come back to her. I'm okay, she repeated to herself. I'll be okay. I'm on holiday.

...

Ibaraki Kyoko arrived in Suna at seven-thirty in the evening after leaving at six in the morning. She was quite impressed by that, back in the horse and cart era it would have taken three days to cross the desert, and that was without the frequent sand-storms and freezing night.

The first thing she notice when she stepped out of the train was the heat. The sun was still reasonably high and air was hot. She could just see the tips of the tallest sand dunes over the top of the high walls, but, far different from the empty desert outside, the streets were packed with busy people, almost running from A to B. Cars packed the roads, great streaming monsters that clogged the streets, chocked the air and made it almost impossible to cross the road.

This was a shame, because Kyoko actually needed to cross the road to get to her hotel. She hoped it was a nice hotel.


End file.

Naruto, Humor, Romance