Full Metal Panic 1. The Assignment

This is my first real fan fiction. It is set a few weeks after the end of _Dancing Very Merry Christmas_, as that is the last book I've read all the way through. I had the idea for it months ago, but have just finally gotten around to writing it. I'm guessing that it will be between 6 and 8 chapters, but since this is my first fic, I can't be too sure. I'd really love to hear what you think of it. Any pointers would be very welcome. Thanks for reading!

* * *

Gray. The sky had turned very gray outside the lightly frosted window. Just that morning the sun seemed to be making headway against the gloom, but it was not looking promising now. Kaname let out a long sigh in spite of herself.

Why is history always so boring? The Asuka period. Taika Reforms. Fujiwara no Kamatari. Blah blah blah . . . Didn't we learn this stuff years ago? It's only the second week of January and I'm already going out of my mind!

The teacher's voice droned on in its usual flat tone. Students shifted in their seats trying to stay focused. A girl scribbled something in her notebook, tore out half the page, folded it, and passed it silently to the girl in front of her. In the corner, a rather serious looking boy sat writing hurriedly to keep up with the monotonous lesson. He seemed to be the only one really paying attention to the lecture, though you'd never guess it from his test scores. A small smile cracked Kaname's lips.

"Baka."

He paused for a moment and met her gaze. She quickly looked away.

It had only been a few weeks since their ordeal on the Pacific Christmas. Only a few weeks since Sousuke had gotten strangely flustered and given her a small blue stone. He had said he wanted to tell her something, but hadn't ever brought it up again. Since that, things between them had been a little . . .

"And now for your first assignment of the quarter!" The teacher's words cut through her idle thoughts.

"Most of the things I have told you today, I have no doubt you've heard many times before. History may seem dry and distant to you. 'Who cares what happened hundreds of years ago to people I don't know?' This is, unfortunately, a common sentiment among the youth these days. They are more interested in their own futures than our country's past. However, it is our past that determines where we are going! We all came from somewhere. And that brings me to the assignment." He paused to make sure he had everyone's attention.

"I want you to spend some time finding out about your own history. More specifically, I want you to research your family line. Who were your ancestors? What did they do? Where was your grandmother born? Was your great-grandfather an advisor to the emperor? A fisherman? Find things from your family's history that spark your interest and relate them to what was happening in Japan at the time. Each student will then need to prepare a five to ten minute presentation for class. Presentations will begin in two weeks. That should allow plenty of time for research. You may want to start by asking your relatives what they know and go from there."

What an unusual assignment! It was definitely more interesting than the normal memorization of dates and names. She would probably need to start by calling her father. As much as she disliked the usually stern conversations she had with him, he would probably know a lot of things that would be helpful in this case. She'd also call her grandfather and uncle who lived near Tokyo.

The bell rang. They bowed and began pulling out their things for lunch. Many started to talk about what the teacher had announced.

"Hey, it's better than a test!"

"I know my mother's family were farmers, not sure about my dad's."

"So much for our study group on this one!"

"Do you know anything about your family, Kana-chan?" Kyouko brought her lunch over to where Kaname was setting up her bento.

"Ummm, a little. My dad does. I'm sure he'll be happy to give me a full three hour lecture on the 'proud history of the Chidori name' or something like that. Could make for quite a phone bill."

"Poor Kana-chan!" Kyouko laughed at her friend's sour expression. "But I'm sure your family history is impressive! Mine's a little embarrassing, I think. Mostly poor laborers and servants."

"That's nothing to be ashamed of!" Kaname said with conviction. She would not have her best friend thinking badly about herself. "If they were hard working and honest, that's something to take pride in!"

"Hmmm, maybe," Kyouko still looked a bit doubtful. Then a new thought hit her. "I wonder what Sagara-kun's family did! I bet they were Samurai or weapons makers or something!"

"Sousuke's?" Then it dawned on her. This assignment wouldn't be so easy for everyone in the class. How was Sousuke going to present on a family he didn't even remember? She looked over to the corner where he was still sitting. He had a somewhat pensive look on his face as he re-read the assignment in his notebook. Clearly, he had been thinking about the same problem.

* * *

"But we should really see if Oren-san is feeling better before we decide what we're doing," Kyouko was adamant. "If she's still too tired, it wouldn't be good to be running around Asakusa Hanayashiki all day."

"I guess that's true," Kaname conceded, "But she was looking much better today. I'm sure she'll be fine by Sunday. Anyway, an amusement park will help brighten her spirits!"

"Yeah, maybe."

The shopping district was still rather crowded even though it was beginning to get dark. If the sun were visible through the thick clouds, it would be setting about then. Kaname and Kyouko continued planning their weekend outing as Sousuke followed a few steps behind. He had hardly said a word the whole way home. He was too lost in his own thoughts to pay much attention to the conversation between the two girls.

_I want you to spend some time finding out about your own history_.

My history? Growing up in Afghanistan? Learning to shoot at age six? Learning to pilot an AS when I was nine? Guerilla warfare? Assassination attempts? Mercenary work in Cambodia? I don't think that's what the teacher is expecting.

_More specifically, I want you to research your family line. _

Family? Mithril is the closest thing I have to that. Should I talk about Commander Kalinin's work in the Spetsnaz? Mao's experience living in New York and Hong Kong? Kurz lived in Japan. At least that's the right country . . . No, that won't work.

_Who were your ancestors? _

No idea.

_What did they do? _

Died . . . that is the problem.

"Sousuke?"

"Hmm?" Kaname and Kyouko had stopped walking and were staring at their companion. "I'm sorry, I was not listening. What did you need, Chidori?"

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes, no problems."

"Well, Kyouko is leaving now," Kaname still looked at him quizzically.

"Ah, Tokiwa. Have a pleasant evening."

Kyouko looked at him and then at Kaname. She shrugged and turned down the street towards her home. "See ya tomorrow!" The remaining two continued toward their apartment buildings. They still had a ways to go.

"So what's going on with you today? You've been acting really weird since lunch time . . . even for you."

"Really?"

"Yes." Kaname stopped walking and looked at him. She frowned but her eyes were concerned. "So what is it . . . the history project?"

"Uhh . . . affirmative. I am unsure as to how I should proceed with the assignment. As you can imagine, the parameters are somewhat troublesome for someone in my situation. I . . . I have no family."

She studied his face for a few moments before saying anything else. It was serious and calm as ever, but she thought there were slight twinges of sadness in his voice and a loneliness in his eyes she hadn't seen before. Or maybe she'd just never noticed it. At that moment he reminded her a great deal of the lost puppy that followed her home from school when she was eleven.

"Well, everyone has a family, Sousuke," she struggled for something encouraging. "You have ancestors like anyone else. Like the teacher said, 'We all came from somewhere.'"

"That is true, but I have no way of finding out who they were or what they did. When I said I have no family, I meant that I have no living family to ask for assistance in this case."

"Hmm," she thought a minute. "Well, You could just make something up, I guess. I mean, your records are all fake anyway. Do some research on life in different periods and invent people who could have been your ancestors. Think of it as expanding on your cover story."

"Yes, I suppose that makes sense." He looked a bit torn. "I would feel somewhat dishonest for not completing the assignment as the teacher specified, but it seems that cannot be helped. I will try my best to invent a normal Japanese history."

Kaname smiled brightly, proud that she had been able to solve his dilemma. She decided that she would help him with creating believable people. Who knows what he'd come up with if left entirely to his own devices. Probably a long line if otaku military nuts or something even weirder.

For Sousuke, however, an idea had entered his mind that he couldn't seem to shake. It was something he had purposely avoided since he had come to live in Tokyo nine months earlier.

_I want you to spend some time finding out about your own history_.


	2. Sense Memory

Smoke. Something burning. What was it? Plastic. Metal. Rubber. Some kind of fossil fuel. And hair. Damp earth. Blood. Charred flesh. So much smoke.

Sousuke sat upright in the darkness, gasping for air, eyes wide. Where was he? Had he been attacked? For a moment he was overcome by paralyzing fear. That smell . . .

No, he was in his apartment. The room was calm and quiet except for his own labored breathing. Nothing was burning. It was a dream. His dark hair was matted to his forehead and beads of sweat ran down his temple. Outside the window the clouds had parted slightly, and a few stray beams of moonlight shown through forming small pools on the floor. Slowly his pulse began to return to normal. It had been a nightmare. Nothing more.

"That smell . . ."

His mind had cleared, the room was still, but the impression of that horrible fragrance clung to him. It seemed to have permeated every pore in his body. It would be many hours before he was able to sleep again.

* * *

"Sergeant Sagara reporting, Sir." Sousuke snapped his salute.

Commander Kalinin met the young soldier on the landing deck of the Tuatha de Danaan. The wind was icy. It whipped strands of his silver hair free from their binding and danced them wildly around his well-worn features. He returned the boy's salute. "Please follow me, Sergeant. Lieutenant Lemming is waiting for us."

"Yes, Sir!"

Because the Danaan was cruising just outside of Japanese waters, it had only been a short flight from Tokyo. Sousuke had been able to attend most of his Saturday morning classes and still made it to the plane with time to spare. Lieutenant Lemming wanted to go over some of their findings after the last mission. She also wanted to run some more tests. He had been assured that he would only be needed for a few hours and would be back in Tokyo before nightfall.

The briefing was fairly short. Sousuke was by no means unintelligent, but he was not proficient enough in advanced physics or neurology to understand the more complex aspects of the Lambda Driver's function or the intricate workings of the human mind. Very few people were. Lieutenant Nora Lemming did her best to explain their findings to him. The mission on the Pacific Christmas had yielded some very promising results. Sergeant Sagara's ability with the Lambda Driver was improving greatly. Also, the AI's autonomous capabilities were beyond what they could have hoped for. It seemed to be developing problem-solving skills much like those of the human brain. The implications were mind-boggling.

Sousuke did his best to follow the report, but found it difficult. It was not uninteresting or unimportant. However, he had gotten very little sleep. His mind kept drifting and his eyes felt heavy. He couldn't seem to shake the feeling of uneasiness that had settled in his chest. The assignment. His strangely vivid dream. It all weighed very heavily on him. But why? Why would such trivial things unnerve him? Kaname had offered to help him with his presentation. She had seemed concerned and even made him dinner in an effort to cheer him up. Such signs of affection from her would normally turn even his worst mood around, but something kept nagging at him. That dream. That smell. There was something extremely ominous behind it.

Somehow he managed to retain most of the important points of Lemming's report. He could always re-read the transcripts later when his head was clear if there was anything he'd missed. All that remained was to report to the sick bay for a couple of tests and he'd be on a plane heading home.

On his way out of the briefing room, Commander Kalinin pulled him aside.

"Sergeant, I would like to speak with you if you have a few minutes."

"Uhh . . . of course, Sir."

Sousuke followed the older man into his office. He sat rigidly in the chair that was offered to him. He sincerely hoped the Lieutenant Commander had not noticed his inattentiveness at the briefing.

"You seem somewhat preoccupied today, Sergeant, is something bothering you?" Andrey Kalinin seemed more concerned than critical. "I hope you have not been over-extending yourself. I know you have quite a lot of work between your position here and your school assignments."

Sousuke flinched slightly at his last words. Kalinin caught the reaction.

"Something at school then? Have you been quarreling with Miss Chidori again?"

"No, I . . . It's nothing like that. It's . . . It's not a problem, Sir."

"I see." He studied the boy's face for a minute. "A school assignment?"

Sousuke looked at the floor. That was as clear as an 'affirmative.' Andrey nodded knowingly.

"School has been a bit of a struggle for you. That's to be expected. You didn't have much time for a formal education growing up. Actually, I think you're doing surprisingly well given your background. I'm glad to see you get this kind of opportunity. I think it has been good for you to experience something of a normal life. There are things one cannot learn on the battlefield. Some of them very important."

"So I have come to realize." Sousuke began to relax a little. The commander was proud of him, and his opinion mattered a great deal to the young man.

"So tell me about the assignment. Perhaps I can give you some advice."

"Well," Sousuke tried to find the correct words. "I have been assigned to do some research for my Japanese History course. I am then to prepare a presentation based on that research."

Kalinin nodded and waited for the boy to continue.

"The difficulty lies in the subject of the research. We are each to give a five to ten minute presentation on our own family's history and its relevance to the history of Japan."

Kalinin leaned back in his chair and nodded again. "Yes. Yes, I can see how that would be very troubling for you."

"Affirmative. Without having the means to discover any of the pertinent information about my family . . . ancestors, the assignment is all but impossible as the instructor has dictated it. Chidori Kaname has suggested that I invent a probable history for myself. Given the circumstances, I believe that is the only course I can take."

"Perhaps . . ." The commander was thoughtful for a moment, "That would be an acceptable solution, if it is what you would prefer."

"Sir?"

"Sousuke, you seem to be avoiding the other alternative open to you. I can understand why that might be. There are many things from your past I'm sure you do not like to think about. However, avoiding something does not make it go away. You can only run from yourself for so long. The more you push those things away, the more they will haunt you in the long run. Sometimes it is best to face such fears head on."

Sousuke's face was troubled. He sat quiet for several minutes as he considered what Kalinin had said.

"How would I . . . If I decide to do as you suggest, how would I proceed? I remember next to nothing before . . . I don't even know their names. I . . ."

"October twenty fifth, nineteen eighty seven."

"Sir?"

"The weather was very bad. A Japanese government plane went down just inside our boarders. All but two on board were killed on impact."

"Two?"

"A woman and her young son. She was severely injured, but hung on long enough to protect the child. When we found them she was near death. She begged me to save the boy. His name, she said, was Sagara Sousuke. He was only three years old. "

Sousuke's eyes were wide in disbelief. "My . . . my mother?"

"She asked me to look after you. My superiors saw you only as a liability. Our government never acknowledged that the plane had been found. There were concerns that the Japanese government would try to blame us for the crash. They would have killed you, but I persuaded them you could be of use. They had started setting up training caps for child assassins, so you were placed in one such program."

"And I was sent into Afghanistan . . ." Sousuke was putting the pieces together.

"Correct. When I saw you again, you didn't know me. It wasn't surprising. I had not been able to visit you often in the youth camp, and several years had passed since you had been sent into that troubled country."

"You . . . you never told me about . . ." Sousuke trailed off.

"Some things require age and experience for us to put them in proper perspective. Young children are deceptively resilient. They can adapt to most any kind of life without any seeming regret or sense of loss. For example, you stopped asking for your parents after only a few weeks. It is only now that you are grown that you can appreciate what their loss has meant to your life. Even a year ago, I'm not sure this information would have meant the same as it does today. You had to learn the value of human relationships to appreciate such sacrifices. That is one of those truths only your new kind of life can teach you. Perhaps I should have told you all of this before now, but I decided that I should wait for you to come to me. You knew I was among those who found you. This is the first time you've shown any sincere interest in that part of your past."

"I never thought it mattered." Was that true? Or had he been afraid of learning what he had lost? Sousuke wasn't really sure.

"I've given you all the help I can. It belongs to you now. It is up to you what you do with this information. "

"I understand. Thank you, sir." Sousuke was about to salute but instead extended his hand across the desk. Kalinin shook it. A small, proud smile turned up the corners of his mouth.

"You've grown into quite a young man, Sagara Sousuke. I trust you will continue to do justice to the confidence I have in you."

Sousuke left for the sick bay.

"I can only hope I have done justice to the faith your mother placed in me."

* * *

A/N:

Wow! Kalinin sure can talk, huh? Hehehe. I wasn't sure how much Sousuke actually knows about the events surrounding his parent's deaths. That story hasn't been translated into English, so I just had to guess. I decided that he was only told 'your parents were killed and you were sent to assassin summer camp.' I would like to thank the good people of tdd1 on Live Journal for helping me with Sousuke's background info. In particular Cultnirvana, Rhysande, and MJP. You guys are awesome!

So that concludes the second chapter of "History." Let me know how you liked it and where I can improve!


	3. Only Dreaming

Smoke. Burning. Blood. Earth. That smell . . .

Death. Fear. Loneliness. Despair. They swirled around him in an impenetrable black cloud. The sky. The sky was black. The earth was . . . red? And brown. Wet . . . Rain. It was raining. Pouring. The water was freezing . . . but his cheek was on fire. Blood. He could taste it now. Salty and bitter and metallic.

Someone. Something familiar. Warm. Distant. Too far away. Who are you? Red. Blood. Too much blood.

"Mama!" Sousuke screamed in a voice he didn't recognize.

He was sitting in the front hallway of his apartment, trembling, eyes wide, pistol in his hand, aiming at nothing. At a nightmare that he couldn't see.

"No! Stop! Stop! STOP! There's nothing here!" His gun fell to the ground. "It's not real . . . I'm not afraid of dreams!"

But he was afraid. And it wasn't just a dream. It happened. It was real.

_There are many things from your past I'm sure you do not like to think about. However, avoiding something does not make it go away. You can only run from yourself for so long. The more you push those things away, the more they will haunt you in the long run. _

He had been running for over fourteen years. He'd suppressed, blocked out, and run away from this past. He, who was fearless in the face of incredible danger, was terrified of this memory. This feeling of helplessness. This . . . loneliness.

Sousuke touched his throbbing cheek. His finger traced a familiar scar he'd never known the story behind. He was suddenly very aware of the silence of his apartment. Of its emptiness. His own heartbeat was deafening. He needed to hear something else. He needed to hear _someone_ else. He slowly reached for his cell phone and dialed.

* * *

Kaname walked down the long pathway lined with wild flowers, enjoying the gentle breeze that playfully twirled strands of her long hair. In the distance someone was running to meet her. She smiled and waved to the approaching figure. 

Ayame came to a stop a few feet from her older sister. "Kaname! Let's get ice cream! Papa's going to meet us for tea later!"

"Sure! I know a great place." She took her sister's hand and began to turn up a new path when Bonta-kun darted out in front of them.

"Fumo fumo Fumoffu!" he demanded.

"Well, I . . ." Kaname was unsure how to answer such a question. Kyouko only giggled and snapped her picture.

Her camera began ringing.

"Huh?" Kaname squinted, trying to find the sound. Her cell phone lit up on her night stand. The clock behind it read 2:14. Not quite awake, she opened it and brought it to her ear.

"Hello?" Her voice was just above a whisper.

"Uhh . . ." The voice on the other end sounded strange but somehow familiar.

"Hello?" The fog was beginning to clear from her mind. "Who is it?"

"Chidori, I . . ."

"Sousuke! Sousuke, what is it?" She was starting to get worried. Had something happened? It must be serious for him to call at this hour.

"Chidori, uhh . . . are you all right?"

"Am I all right? What are you talking about? I was asleep." He was not making any sense.

"Ah, I see . . . um . . . I was concerned because I . . . I thought I might have heard something outside." He didn't sound like he believed his own story.

"You thought you might have heard something? Sousuke, it's after two in the morning and you woke me up because you think you _might_ have heard something outside!" She was _not_ in the mood for this.

"I . . . well . . . It could be some kind of predator. I only wanted to make sure you were . . ."

"SOUSUKE!" She clapped her hand over her mouth. Her neighbors probably didn't want to be woken up at this hour, either. She continued more quietly but no less intense, "Sagara Sousuke, you stupid military jerk! What on earth is going on in that head of yours that tells you it's a good idea to call ANYONE . . ." she checked her volume again, "anyone at this time of night! What is with you!"

"I . . . I don't know . . . I'm sorry, I just . . . I really can't . . ." He sounded really strange. Almost . . . frightened. The only other time she'd ever heard him like that was months ago when she had fallen through the floor in the old burned-out hospital. Her anger began to dissipate.

"Sousuke, are you alright?"

"Yes, affirmative . . . It's not a problem . . . I am fine, Chidori."

He really sounded bothered by something. Was he still worried about the history project? It must be pretty bad if he had called her this late at night for no real reason. He'd never done that before. Clearly he was not going to tell her over the phone. Maybe she should . . .

"Hey, Sousuke,"she said in her best frightened voice, "You know, I think I just heard something outside my window. Maybe there _is_ someone bad out there."

"Really?" He sounded quite surprised by her statement.

"Yeah. Maybe you should come over until we're sure it's safe. Can't be too careful." The last bit was too much. Not even Sousuke could possibly buy that one.

"That is a good plan, Chidori. If you fear for your safety, I will come over as quickly as I can." He hung up before she had any chance to reconsider.

Kaname made a dash for the bathroom. Sousuke would probably be there in less than five minutes and she was not letting him see her with bed hair and morning breath.

* * *

A/N: 

Wow, I must be on a roll. Wrote all of this in one night. It helps that I've been mentally writing it for days. It's also shorter than my pervious two chapters. If I keep to my outline, the story should wind up 7 chapters in all. Hope you're enjoying it. I am!


	4. Confessions

Sousuke carefully placed his cell phone on the kitchen table and took a deep breath. He needed to pull himself together more before he could head across the street. At this rate Kaname would lose any faith she had in him.

She must think I've completely lost my mind. I shouldn't have called her. It was a stupid, weak move. I have to get a hold on this. I'm becoming even more of a problem for her. I can't have that . . . But she did say she wanted me to come over. It was her idea. Does she really think someone is trying to get into her apartment? Did my irrational fear rub off on her? I can't trust my own judgment right now. Maybe she did hear a noise. It would be an amazing coincidence, but if there is any chance . . . I need to get going.

He walked quickly to the bathroom and ran some cold water in the sink to rinse off his face.

Cold water . . . cold rain . . . wet earth . . . blood . . .

"Enough!" He shook his head quickly, trying to shake off the haunting images.

His reflection looked exhausted. Dark circles had formed under his bloodshot eyes. His hair was more disheveled than usual. He put his whole head under the running tap. When he stood back up, water ran in little rivers down his shoulders. He grabbed his towel and walked quickly into the bedroom.

After changing his shirt and running a comb through his hair, he made his way towards the front door, stopping to grab his phone from the table and his pistol from where he had dropped it in the hall. With one more deep breath, he put on his jacket and headed out the door.

* * *

Sousuke took longer to get to Kaname's apartment than she had expected. She had time to brush her hair, brush her teeth, and even change out of her pajamas before she heard the familiar knock. She sprinted over the hardwood floor, slid to a stop in front of the foyer, and jumped down to the door. Sousuke's nervousness must have been contagious. Her pulse had gone up a bit. She was worried.

"Sousuke . . ." the instant she cracked the door, he slipped into the foyer, gun drawn.

"Have you heard anything else since I spoke to you?" He quickly moved to the window facing the street and checked through the side of the curtains. He was on high alert.

"No, I didn't really . . ."

"Then perhaps they saw me approaching. Stay away from the windows. I'll check the apartment carefully and then go check the perimeter . . ." Yes, he was definitely in full military mode now. She had to put an end to this fast.

"Sousuke, stop!"

He froze and stared at here, "I cannot do that. Your safety is at stake. Someone could be attempting to abduct you . . ."

"Sousuke, no one is trying to abduct me!" She corrected herself, "Not right now, anyway, so just stop."

"But you said . . ."

"I know what I said. I was lying. I was worried that . . ."

"Chidori, in the interest of your safety, I would prefer that you did not make such false reports in the future. I need to know when a threat is real. I can't be second guessing . . ."

"Me making false reports! What was with that phone call, then? Don't get all high and mighty on me when you're the one who called me at two in the morning with some bogus story about noises in the street!"

"That was . . ."

"Didn't you do it?"

"But you . . ."

"Tell me I'm wrong!"

"I . . ." He was stuck. He couldn't deny what she said. She was right. He was the one who was being dishonest. But he couldn't tell her why he'd called. He couldn't tell her he was afraid to be alone. What would she think of him?

"Sousuke, what's wrong! Pleases, just tell me!" She grabbed him by his arms and looked straight into his eyes. "I'm worried about you. You're acting really weird. Please, what's going on?"

He stared back at her, mouth open, unable to speak. He wanted to collapse on the floor. He wanted to run out of the room. He wanted to tell her about what had happened. He wanted to pull her to him and hold her.

But he couldn't.

"Sousuke, don't you trust me?" Her words were pained. Sousuke's chest tightened. He forced himself to speak.

"Yes. Of course I trust you. I'm just . . . I don't know what to say." He couldn't meet her eyes anymore. "I don't know what's wrong with me. My mind is all screwed up. I can't tell if I'm dreaming or not. I think I'm starting to remember things . . ."

"What kinds of things?" Kaname gently lead him to the couch. He didn't look like he could keep standing like that much longer.

"I . . . I don't know. Bad things. Horrible things. From when I was little. From when my parents . . . how they . . . I keep having these vivid nightmares about . . . There's this terrible smell and a lot of blood and rain. . . I can't seem to . . ."

Kaname silently put her hand on his. The gesture gave him a bit more strength. He took a deep breath and started again.

"I went to the library this evening to work on my history project. I had intended to do some research on life in different periods of Japan, as you suggested, but I wound up in the archive room. Commander Kalinin had given me some information this afternoon that I had to follow up on. I found this." He pulled a folded piece of copy paper from his jacket pocket and handed it to Kaname, still not able to look at her.

"What is it?" She unfolded the paper. It was a photocopy of a newspaper article. The title read '**Government Plane Vanishes Over Russian Soil, All on Board Presumed Dead**.' She looked at him. He nodded and she began to read.

_Government sources have reported that a small jet carrying five members of the House of Councillors as well as several diplomats, staff and family members, went missing some time late Sunday afternoon. Though it cannot be confirmed, it is believed that the plane was forced down somewhere inside Soviet territory. At this point, the Russian government vehemently denies any knowledge of the crash, and, as such, there has been no word of possible survivors._

_The nature of the visit is yet unclear. The government has stated that it was a diplomatic mission, but nothing more can be known. The incident has been listed as classified and it seems unlikely that the general public will be given any further information._

_Several well known figures are among those reported missing. One is Councillor Yaji, a popular advocate for bettering international trade relation. Also believed on board is Takiyama Kenji, a renowned diplomat who was also highly involved in international trade issues. More surprising is Sagara Mayumi, a photojournalist and photographic artist. She is believed to have been on the flight along with her husband, a well respected political adviser to Takiyama-san, and their three year old son, Sousuke . . . _

"Sousuke, you . . ." She didn't know what to say.

He nodded heavily, pulled out a second piece of paper, and handed it to her. It was another short article about the plane crash. It confirmed that no survivors had been found and listed all those that had been lost. Kaname's eyes locked on the one familiar name.

_Sagara Souji, 6/16/59 to 10/25/87_

_Sagara Mayumi, 2/28/61 to 10/25/87_

_**Sagara Sousuke, 9/15/84 to 10/25/87**_

"I . . . I never knew your birthday was in September . . ." She smiled half-heartedly. It was an odd observation to make at that moment, but it was all she could come up with.

"Neither did I."

"You didn't know your own birthday?" Kaname stared at him in disbelief, but when she though about it a minute, it made perfect sense. How would he have known? It was amazing he knew as much as he did.

"Commander Kalinin has always marked my age by the middle of October. I believe it is listed as October twenty-fifth in my student records. I never knew the significance of the date before now. He was the one who . . . found me."

He went on to tell her what Kalinin had passed on to him the previous afternoon. She listened attentively. A large tear rolled down her cheek when he told her about his mother's final actions. When he finished with his story, they both sat silent for many minutes until Sousuke finally spoke again.

"Chidori, you were very close to your mother, correct?"

"Yes, I was."

"What was she like?"

Kaname's heart broke a little. Sousuke had never asked her about that kind of thing before. She knew what the question really meant. He wanted to know what his mother had been like. She thought carefully about how to answer. She really didn't talk much about what she had gone through when her mother died. It had been a horrible time in her life and she tried not to think about it. But she would try now.

"She was . . . amazing. Really, she took care of all of us, my sister, my dad, and me. Even when she was sick, she still looked after us. And she was so kind and warm. It was like she knew exactly what to do to make you feel better. She would do all these little things to make us happy like cook us special meals and treats or put notes in our lunches. And she was really strong. She never broke down when things got difficult. Even when she was . . . when she had cancer, she never got scared or angry. She was sad, but she still tried to make me feel better about it. She comforted me even thought she was the one who was . . . dying."

"So she was a lot like you."

Kaname stared at him. How could someone who was always so clueless about people and emotions say something like that? It was like something out of a romantic movie, not her life. Had she heard him right? Did he really mean what he said?

"Sousuke . . ."

"You're very fortunate to have such memories. I wish I had some of that kind. Military training is not something one can look back on with much warmth. It may have been practical and has, no doubt, saved my life many times, but I find myself somewhat lacking in other areas as a result. I am not good with normal people. My own emotions confuse me more than anything. I am unsure how to deal with the feelings that all of this has brought to the surface. I am . . . I don't know how to explain it. I'm sorry, I am not good at expressing myself. I cannot help envying you your memories, Chidori. The only thing I'm able to remember about my parents is their deaths. I cannot even be sure I remember that. The past few nights I have been having dreams about it. At least, I believe that is what it is."

"Is that why you called me? You were scared because of what you were remembering?"

"I . . . I should not have called you. I do not know why I did that. I should not have involved you in my personal problems. I'm sure it is a great inconvenience. I . . ."

"Don't say that, Sousuke." She didn't sound disgusted, but he couldn't believe she didn't think as poorly of him now as he did himself.

"I don't wish you to lose you faith in my ability to protect you. However, if I am this weak, perhaps I am not . . ." She didn't let him finish. He was struck dumb when she suddenly wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pressed her head under his chin.

"Stop, please. Don't say that. I'm glad you called me. You don't have to be strong all the time. You're human, Sousuke. After everything, I owe you at least this much, don't I?"

"Chidori, I . . ." He didn't know what to do or say. He hadn't expected anything like this reaction. She seemed happy that he was being weak. It didn't make any sense. He sat like that for several minutes before he finally lifted his arms to return her embrace.

The affect was amazing. The tension in his body began to relax. His pulse slowed. His breathing deepened. After a while, Kaname felt his hold on her begin to loosen. When she carefully sat back up, she saw that he had fallen asleep. Warm feelings swelled in her. She quietly walked to the linen closet, retrieved a blanket, and tenderly lay it over the sleeping boy.

"Goodnight, Sagara Sousuke."

* * *

A/N:

Finally done with this chapter! It was pretty tricky in a few places. I really tried to keep Kaname and Sousuke in character, but it's hard in this kind of scene. I meant it as one of those conversations you can only have at three in the morning when you're tired and your defenses are lower. It boarders on fluffiness in spots, but I hope it wasn't too squishy to be believable. Please let me know how I did, and, as always, thanks for reading!


	5. The Morning After

A long, thin slit of light stretched slowly across Kaname's livingroom floor. It inched its way up the side of the sofa and finally reached the sleeping boy's face. He stirred. His eyes opened slowly.

For a moment he was disoriented. Why was he in Kaname's apartment? How did he get there? Soon the memory of the previous night came back to him. The phone call, her initial irritation, his foolish behavior, their conversation, her concern, the warmth of her embrace . . . She seemed to have some sort of magical healing power. He had slept peacefully the rest of the night. No plane crashes, no rain, no toxic smells.

"Chidori . . ."

He looked around the room. His eyes rested on the bedroom door. It was open just a crack. He silently got up and made his way across the floor, hesitating a moment before carefully opening the door and peering into the room beyond.

Kaname lay sound asleep in her bed. She had changed back into her pajamas and was clutching her beloved Bonta-kun to her chest. The blanket rose and fell slightly with her soft breathing. Her face, half buried in the pillow, was almost angelically peaceful. Sousuke found himself transfixed by the scene. That now familiar feeling of longing rose in him.

After a little more hesitation, he was finally able to pull himself away from the sleeping girl's doorway and walk back to the couch where he had spent the night. He carefully folded the blanket and put the large throw pillow back in its customary position. Next, he checked all of the security features he had installed in the apartment over the last nine months. Everything seemed satisfactory. He then stood in the middle of the room for a long time, staring at the folded blanket. A deep sigh escaped his lips. He reached down and retrieved the photocopied newspaper articles from the coffee table and began to head towards the front door.

He stopped. He walked to the kitchen instead and scribbled a note on the pad of paper Kaname kept next to her phone. He read it over once, folded it, walked back to the couch, and placed it on top of the blanket. Finally, he made his way quietly out the front door.

* * *

"Que! Kana-chan! Que! It's morning! Que! Time to get up! You'll be late!" 

Kaname weakly dropped her hand on top of the squawking alarm clock. It was Wednesday morning. She couldn't afford to sleep in. They had a test in algebra second period. Oh, how she used to hate algebra. Being Whispered did have its advantages, apparently. She, Kyouko, and Shiori had promised to meet before home room to go over their notes together. Kaname wasn't really worried about the test, but she didn't want to let her friends down. With great effort, she dragged herself out of her warm bed and into the bathroom.

The hot shower helped bring her out of her morning stupor. She felt almost alive as she pulled on her school uniform and tied the end of her long hair with its customary red ribbon. As she fastened her watch, her eyes drifted to the folded piece of paper sitting on the night stand. She picked it up and read the note for the millionth time.

_Chidori,_

_Thank you for your understanding last night. I will try to make more of an effort in the future. Your friendship and faith mean a great deal to me. Enjoy your Sunday at the amusement park. I understand such places can be very crowded. Please avoid secluded areas where you could be easily cornered. Maintain a clear view of emergency exits at all times and consider bringing along something that could be used to fight off an abductor if need be. I believe you still have several small cans of pepper spray I gave you. Something heavy in your purse that you could swing at an attacker would also be affective. I hope the outing is uneventful and you will not need to use any of these. I will see you at school on Monday_.

_-Sagara Sousuke_

"Stupid boy," she smiled despite her words. "Just had to throw in all that otaku junk at the end, didn't you?"

She placed the note in the top drawer and headed off to school.

The past few days had been rather uneventful. Sousuke seemed to have returned to his normal, overly composed self. He hadn't been called to the principal's office, shot anything, tackled anyone, or blown anything up. He had done better on his English paper than she had expected. True, he was fluent in the language, but his stiff, strangely wordy style of writing usually lost him a lot of points. He also tended to completely misunderstand the assigned topic and somehow make it about military tactics, weapons, or security. Lucky for him, this paper had been on current events. He had written on the conflict in the Middle East, something he understood better than most people. He scored an A-. Kaname had gotten an A+ herself, but that was normal. She was fluent in English, too, after all!

She smiled to herself as she rounded the corner and walked the final block to Jindai High School. Kyouko ran to meet her at the gate.

"Kana-chan! Goodmorning! You look really happy. What happened?"

"Hey, Kyouko! It's nothing. Just in a good mood. No real reason." Kyouko eyed her suspiciously. "Ready for the test?"

"Are you kidding! I'm in terrible trouble! I couldn't study at all last night! My mom is going to kill me if I fail another test! You have to help me!"

"Oh, me too!" Shiori ran up to them. "When did you get good at algebra, anyway, Kaname? Didn't it used to be your worst subject? It's really not fair for you to be good at it all of a sudden." She gave Kaname an evil glare.

"Oh, really I'm not!" Kaname protested. "I just got a good tutor and I've been trying harder at it, I think. It's still tough. I studied my brains out last night."

Actually, she had spent the night watching a Sailor Moon marathon, but she couldn't tell them that.

They made their way into the school and to their classroom. Shiori had some great gossip about two of their classmates who had supposedly started dating. They laughed and speculated about how long the relationship would last. (Two weeks, tops! She's way too good for him!) They pulled three desks together and started going over the practice questions from their book.

About five minutes after they started their study group, out of the corner of her eye, Kaname saw Sousuke enter the room. He had probably trailed her to school as usual. What a weirdo. As he was unpacking his things at his desk, his phone began to ring. Out of habit Kaname tried to listen in on his conversation.

"How did you get that answer? I don't get it."

"Sagara here."

"That one's easy. You just have to think of it like this . . ."

"I see, and what did they discover?"

"No no no, that's not how the teacher said to do those. Look, in my notes it says to . . ."

"And you believe they may still be there?"

"I think you wrote that down wrong, I have this . . ."

"I appreciate that, sir." He wrote something in his notebook. "I have it."

"Kana-chan, what did you get for number eleven?"

"Thank you, Commander. So do I."

"Forty two"

"Yes, I will be sure to tell you my results."

"Oh me too!"

"Thank you, sir." He hung up.

"Wait, that's not what I got . . . oh, I see what you did!"

What was that call about?

"That's so easy! I finally got it!"

Does he have another mission?

"How about number thirteen?"

How long will he be gone for?

"Kana-chan, what did you get for thirteen?"

Will he get hurt?

"Hello, Kaname, you still with us?"

He can't keep missing so much school.

"Kaname!" Kyouko and Shiori glared at her.

"Ah, oh, sorry. I guess I'm kinda spacey this morning. What did you say?"

"Hmmm . . ." Kyouko and Shiori smiled knowingly at each other. They had noticed Sagara enter the room, too.

"Number thirteen, Kana-chan. What did you get?"

"Oh, thirteen? Let me see . . ."

"Excuse me, Chidori. May I speak with you a moment?" Sousuke had walked over to them without her noticing. Kaname started a little when he spoke. Shiori stifled a giggle. Kyouko grinned.

"Uh, okay, what do you need?" Kaname tried to hide her embarrassment.

"Uhh . . ." He looked at the two other girls. "It is somewhat . . . May I speak with you alone?"

"Oh!"

It's probably about his job, stupid. Pull yourself together!

"Yeah, okay, I guess." She stood up with as much dignity as she could muster and followed him into the hall.

"So what's going on?" She began to feel concern rise in her again. She hoped it wasn't a dangerous mission. He'd just barely escaped death a few weeks ago on the Christmas cruise. This was really too much!

"Would you be willing to accompany me somewhere after school today? There is something I need to do, and I would greatly appreciate your help."

"Huh?"

"For my history report. You had offered your assistance before."

"Oh, yes, of course. I'm not doing anything. Of course I'll help you."

"Thank you."

"Is that all?"

"Pardon?"

"There's nothing else I should know?"

"I do not believe so."

"But the phone call . . ." She blushed. She'd as good as admitted that she'd been eavesdropping.

"Huh? Oh, that was to do with the assignment as well. Lieutenant Commander Kalinin has managed to pull a few strings with the intelligence department for me."

"Ah, I see." She felt the worry drain out of her. "I though it might have been a mission or something."

"Oh . . . no. It's just as I said." They stood awkwardly silent for a short time.

"Well, I'd better get back to my study group. They're lost without me." She smiled. "Are you ready for the math test?"

"Yes. It's not a problem."

"Hmm . . ." She walked back in to her friends. Kyouko gave her a questioning look, but Kaname just shrugged. As they got back to studying, she began to wonder just where Sousuke would be taking her that afternoon. What had he said on the phone?

_And you believe they may still be there?_

* * *

A/N: 

Sorry, this took me a while. Got hit with a bit of writer's block for a few days. Thanks to my lovely boyfriend for helping me figure out how to start the thing off. Looks like I may be going up to 8 chapters now. I added a bit to this one, so what was going to be the second half of this chapter will actually be the beginning of the next. Please tell me what you think. I welcome any pointers I can get! And a big thanks to the handful of you who have left reviews. You guys are the best!


	6. Walking Home

The sun was finally shining. Only thin wisps of clouds remained to streak the afternoon sky. The winter air was crisp, and the constant breeze seemed to toss Kaname's hair in every direction at once. She pulled her scarf and coat tighter around her as she quickened her pace to keep up with the boy walking next to her.

Sousuke had refused to tell her much of anything about their destination that afternoon."The Lieutenant Commander has given me an address. He believes that I may find some information there," was all she had managed to get out of him. A number of possible scenarios had run through her mind, but nothing that seemed very likely. With her luck, he'd be taking her to a library to scan through thousands of articles in search of any more information on his parents. If they'd both been public figures, there would probably be something. The task would be daunting, but she'd do it. She'd promised to help, and she was not one to go back on her word.

As they made their way through the streets of the quiet Tokyo suburb, Kaname did her best to keep up some small talk. Sousuke was not much of a conversationalist, but he listened to her stories as intently as he could. Her enthusiasm for the activity never ceased to amaze him. She could talk about absolutely nothing and make it sound interesting and important. How did she do that? He, on the other hand, could make even life and death subjects seem tedious to her. That was definitely unfortunate. There were so many normal things he needed improvement on. Perhaps if he had grown up in a normal family, he would be able to gossip and discuss the latest episodes of popular TV shows with all the ease and excitement of his classmates. Perhaps he would know how to . . .

"It's really not fair, you know."

"Hmm?" He turned, attempting to read her expression.

"Well, I've been wondering all day where you were taking me, and now all you'll tell me is 'the Commander gave me an address.'" She did her best to imitate his serious voice and expression. "It's pretty infuriating! You really owe me after this!"

"I am sorry I've inconvenienced you. If you wish, I will escort you back to the train station and then continue alone."

Kaname's face fell. He always took things so seriously. Couldn't he tell she was teasing him? "Geez, I said I'd come with you, didn't I? Besides, if I went home now, I'd never find out what this is all about." She smiled wickedly. "Now that really would be infuriating!"

Sousuke sighed and continued walking. Kaname could be so confusing sometimes. That and his patience wasn't as good as it normally was that afternoon. Things had improved greatly since the weekend, but nightmares still had him up half the night. He thought about talking with Kaname about it, but couldn't bring himself to start the conversation. He didn't want to worry her any more than he already had.

"So . . ." Kaname couldn't take the silence anymore. "Have you found out anything else since . . . you know."

Sousuke turned to look at her again. Her expression seemed softer than it had been a minute ago. Had she guessed what he'd been thinking about?

"A little." He watched to be sure she wanted him to continue. " My father graduated from Kyoto University with a degree in economics. He worked as an adviser to several political figures, and it appears he was well respected among his peers. My mother was a photographer. She worked as a photojournalist, but was beginning to gain a reputation in the art world, as well." He reached into his book bag and pulled out several color images on printer paper. Kaname took them eagerly.

"Wow. These are really . . . beautiful. Your mom took these?"

He nodded. "I found them on the internet the other evening."

"I never would have guessed that you'd have an artist in your family."

"Why do you say that?"

"I don't know. You're just not very . . . you're not really an art person, I guess."

"I see." He considered her observation. "I suppose that is true. Perhaps if . . . Things like art were not a high priority in my life. Since it does not serve a practical purpose in battle, I was not made to study it."

"Of course." She smirked. "So tell me again, what does a model do? Something about becoming one with nature?"

Sousuke gave her a sideways glance. She laughed at his worried expression.

"Don't worry. I won't hang you from a tree or anything . . . Well, not unless you really deserve it." She winked and Sousuke began to sweat a little. That was not something to joke about. He had feared for his life.

"It should be in the next block" He needed to change the subject quickly.

"Oh?" Kaname examined her surroundings. They had left the small shops and offices behind them and were now in the middle of a residential neighborhood. Where on Earth was he taking her? She was at a loss.

Sousuke pulled a scrap of paper out of his pocket and checked the address again. He scanned the street numbers. It should be right over . . .

"There." He pointed to the house almost directly across the street from them. It was a comfortable looking family home. There was a white wall surrounding the yard. A low rod iron gate topped with an ornate archway revealed a well-maintained garden beyond.

"It's a nice house. Whose is it?" She turned to look at him.

Sousuke didn't answer. He didn't move. He stared at the house across from them with a somewhat bewildered look on his face.

"Sousuke?"

Impossible. How would I remember this? But there is something about this place that is so familiar. The smell seems strangely nostalgic. What is it? I don't understand.

"I don't know. Maybe it's . . ." He began to cross the street.

"Huh?" It was Kaname's turn to look bewildered. "Maybe it's what?" She hurried after him. By the time she caught up with him, he was at the gate, looking into the garden beyond.

"A koi pond."

"What?"

"I knew there would be one."

"What are you talking about? Why are we here? Whose house is this?"

Sousuke was clearly too engrossed by the garden to hear her questions. Frustrated, Kaname scanned the house's exterior for any clues. Her eyes rested on the copper mail box mounted next to the gate. On the front, in carefully crafted calligraphy, was a family name. Kaname's eyes went wide when she realized where they were.

_Sagara_

This is Sousuke's home. It must be. His family must still live here. What are we going to do now? What is he going to say to them? Are we going to go in, or just stand here staring at the koi pond? Does he know where he is? I have to say something.

"Pardon me." Kaname almost jumped out of her skin when a soft female voice spoke up behind her. "May I help you two?"

They turned to see a small woman of about seventy standing directly behind them. She smiled pleasantly at the startled high school students.

"Uhh . . . I beg your pardon, Mam. Is this your house?" It was Sousuke who answered.

"For over fifty years." She beamed.

"This was also the residence of the photographer Sagara Mayumi, correct?"

"Ah, Mayu-chan. Yes. She lived here. But that was many years ago." Her eyes looked somewhat distant for a moment. "You are much too young to have known my daughter-in-law. Perhaps you are fans of her work?"

"Affirmative. We were hoping to talk to someone in her family. We are working on a report for our art class. We have selected Mrs. Sagara as our subject. Would you permit us to ask you a few things about her and her history?"

"It would be a pleasure."

In too much shock to say anything herself, Kaname followed Sousuke and the woman who had to be his grandmother into the house. It looked like this might not be such a boring afternoon, after all.

* * *

A/N:

I'd just like to say that I did battle with this chapter. It put up one heck of a fight, too. It's like it didn't want to be written at all. I wrote entire paragraphs and scenes that had nothing to do with the plot. For the longest time Kaname and Sousuke were stuck on the train, bickering with each other and not furthering the story much at all. Finally, I went back and cut the train trip completely (most everything I had written at that point). Now I'm reasonably pleased with how things are progressing. Hope you all like it okay, too. Let me know.


	7. The Photographer's Son

Kaname and Sousuke sat on a very comfortable yet elegant sofa in the middle of a brightly decorated livingroom. They watched as Sagara Hanako walked in and out of adjoining rooms, gathering together framed photographs, old yearbooks, magazine clippings, and photo albums from every corner of her home. She had more energy and spirit than you would expect to find in a woman of her years.

"I so rarely get visitors." She smiled as she set down a box of old photographs next to the already impressive pile on her antique coffee table. "You'll forgive me if I'm a bit excited. You see, my daughter and her family moved to Okinawa several years back, so I only see them once or twice a year. My younger son still lives in town, but his business takes up a great deal of his time. My granddaughter comes to see me every other Sunday, but I don't think she enjoys it very much. She's at that age where she'd rather be with her friends than sitting around with an old woman like me. I was the same way when I was fourteen, so I really can't complain. Still, she's a good girl."

Kaname smiled, picturing her younger sister. Ayame was starting to get to that age, too.

"I'm sorry, I'm being terribly rude. Kazama-kun, Chidori-san, can I offer you some tea?"

Kazama. Of all the names, Sousuke had used that otaku Shinji's as his alias! Kaname gripped the edge of the sofa, fighting back the urge to smack her companion over the head with one of the many heavy photo albums stacked in front of her. How could he not tell this poor woman who he was? Was he really going to come this far only to gather enough information to complete his project and then continue on as if nothing had happened? This was his family, wasn't it? Didn't he want a chance to know them? Didn't they deserve to know that he was still alive?

"That will not be necessary, thank you. I do not require anything at this time."

"Er, uh, yes. I'm fine, thank you Sagara obaasan." Kaname smiled awkwardly as she bowed her thanks.

"Well then, let's get started. What would you like to know? You said you had questions about Mayu-chan. You may ask me anything you like."

Sousuke furrowed his brow. He should have planned this out better, but the woman had taken him so much by surprise when she arrived, that he had barely managed to come up with a plausible cover story. He must be slipping. If he had been thinking clearly, he would have considered this possibility and come up with an appropriate course of action well in advance. Of course, there were plenty of things he wanted to know, but how should he start? How should he go about gathering the necessary information without blowing his cover?

"Well . . . uhh . . ."

"How long did you know Mayumi-san? She was married to your son, right?" Kaname came to the tongue-tied boy's rescue. If they were going to conduct an interview, they might as well start at the beginning.

"All of her life" Hanako replied with a gentile smile. "Mayu-chan's mother, Sakura, and I were very close. We had gone to school together, and their house was just around the corner. But then Sakura was killed in a car accident when Mayumi was six. It was a terrible time. Mayu's father was heartbroken. He put all of his energy into running the family restaurant, so Mayumi started spending a great deal of time here. I didn't mind. She reminded me so much of her mother. Also, she and my daughter were the same age, so they quickly became inseparable."

"And she wound up marrying your son? Were they close childhood friends, too?" Kaname chimed in again as much out of her own curiosity as wanting to help Sousuke.

"Oh no!" Hanako laughed. "Mayumi and Rieko used to follow Souji everywhere. It drove him crazy. He'd throw mud at them, call them names, or try to lose them any other way he could think of. I think Mayu had her eye on him from the start, but isn't that how it always is? The girls figure these things out much sooner. It's the boys that take some convincing. But then she went to live with her aunt for her final year of junior high (her father's decision). When she came back the week before she started high school, I thought Souji's eyes were going to pop out of his head. She'd grown quite a bit in that year." She winked at Kaname who smiled broadly in return. Sousuke looked puzzled, but said nothing.

"Mayumi took after her mother in many ways, but there was one thing she did get from her father. She had the most intense charcoal gray eyes. They were rather unique. Look." She pulled out several photographs of a very attractive teenage girl. Indeed, she did have curiously intense gray eyes. The color was very familiar to Kaname, however. It seemed that Sousuke had inherited that particular trait, as well.

"Who's this?" Kaname pointed to a young man standing next to Mayumi in one of the photos.

"Souji, of course!" Her eyes twinkled. "Wasn't he handsome?" She studied the teenage boy sitting across from her for a minute. "Kazama-kun looks a bit like him, actually. I noticed it when I first saw you in front of the house. But you look much more . . . serious than Souji. He was always smiling. And his hair was . . . a bit different."

"Really?" Sousuke cocked his head slightly to one side.

"And your eyes . . . they really . . ."

"What was Souji like?" Kaname blushed at the rudeness of her interruption, but she needed to get Mrs Sagara's focus off of Sousuke.

"Hm? Oh, well, Souji . . ." She took a moment to recollect her thoughts. "He was a very energetic boy. Very bright, and very sincere. He had a wonderful sense of humor."

"Really?" Kaname sounded more surprised than she had intended.

"Oh yes! He was always playing little jokes on people. Nothing malicious, mind you, but he loved to laugh. He had a wonderful laugh, too. It was infectious, really. Musical." She flipped through one of the albums and pointed out a photo of the young man that, now that she mentioned it, did look remarkably like Sousuke. He was doubled over laughing while a young girl standing next to him looked shocked and somewhat confused. "I don't know what he said to Rieko, but he definitely got a reaction." She smiled affectionately.

"How was he in school?" Kaname asked while giving Sousuke a sideways glance.

"As I said, he was a very bright boy. He graduated near the top of his class and went on to Kyoto University. I was so proud. He liked to have fun, but he could be very focused, too. If something was important to him, he worked very hard for it. That's why he went into politics. He wanted to help the poor, and he believed he could make a difference."

"He was like that with Mayu, too. Once he set his sights on her, no one else would do. He proposed the day after she graduated from high school."

"And she accepted?" Kaname was fascinated.

"Well . . . no. But she agreed to go out on a date with him. It took a good five months before she'd agree to marry him."

"You mean he . . . he asked her to marry him and they weren't even dating yet!" Kaname couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"I said he was dedicated. He knew what he wanted, and, to be fair, young people really didn't date in high school in those days."

"Ah." Kaname tried to imagine Sousuke professing his undying love for her on the day of their graduation. She tried . . . and failed. He and his father were clearly very different people.

"You mentioned what drove your son to choose his career, but what made Mayumi decide on photography?" Sousuke finally joined in with a real question.

"Well . . ." Hanako was thoughtful a moment. "It started when she was about thirteen, I believe. Her class took a field trip to a local art museum. At the time, they had a special exhibition of the work several renowned photographers. Mayu-chan couldn't stop taking about it for months afterward. She begged her father until he finally bought her a camera. She'd go around taking pictures of everything. Most of these were taken by her." She gestured to the stack of albums in front of them. "I'm sure her father has thousands more buried somewhere. When she graduated, she got an apprenticeship with a local photographer. He said she had a very good eye."

"And then she got married?" Kaname asked.

"Not right away. We convinced Souji that it would be best to wait until he was out of school. That would also give Mayu time to get her career going. As you can imagine, it wasn't easy for her to get work at first. No one wanted to hire a female photographer, but Mayumi could be rather stubborn. That trait served her well in her work. She built a reputation on getting shots that other photographers weren't able to."

"So through a combination of willpower and skill, she was able to achieve her goals?" Sousuke ventured.

"You could say that, yes. She didn't slow down any after they were married, either. She insisted that being a photographer in no way conflicted with being a good wife. I handled most of the household affairs, anyway, so it wasn't much of a problem. She did slow down a bit, though, when she got pregnant." She pulled out another photo of Mayumi and Souji. Souji was holding a baby in his arms and smiling proudly. "They named him Sousuke. My first grandchild . . ." Hanako fell silent, a pained look in her eyes.

"Sousuke . . ." The teenage boy echoed his name softly as he studied the photo.

"What a delightful child." She finally continued. "He was the happiest baby I ever saw. He was fascinated by everything and was always smiling, just like his papa."

"Seriously!" Kaname's eyes were wide with disbelief. She stared at the boy next to her, as if looking for signs of this long-lost joviality. The Sousuke she knew hardly ever smiled, and she'd never once heard him laugh.

"Oh my yes! He'd sing and play all day long. I took care of him while his parents were working and he was such a joy. He hardly ever gave me any trouble. He was very talkative for a three year old, too." She showed them several beautiful photos Mayumi had taken of her son. Kaname chuckled a bit to herself when she noted that the little boy's hair seemed to stick out in every direction. In one photo, he was scowling and pulling a rubber ball away from another small child. Kaname knew that expression very well.

"Of course, he could be rather stubborn, too. But what can I say? He came by it naturally." Another wave of melancholy swept over older woman's features. "He'd be seventeen this year if he'd . . ." She let her words trail off.

"Why was he . . ." Sousuke's face was clearly troubled. "How did he wind up on the . . ."

"Why did they take him on the plane?" Hanako guessed his question.

"I'm sorry, if that is too . . ."

"No, it's alright." She smiled weakly. "It does seem like a rather unusual place for a three year old. In fact, they hadn't planned on bringing him. Souji was going for his work, of course. He said that it was a promising opportunity for improving the quality of life for millions of people. He couldn't give me details, but he was very enthusiastic about it. When Mayumi heard that several of the other diplomats were bringing their wives, she insisted on going herself. She said it was an amazing chance to photograph Russian architecture and landscapes. Souji was against the idea, but once Mayu had made up her mind, there was no talking her out of it. Then, the night before they left, Sousuke started crying and begging them not to leave him. He wouldn't stop until they promised to he could go to Russia, too."

Sousuke clenched his fists tightly where his grandmother couldn't see them. It was a lot to take in, and he was having a harder time than he had anticipated. A dull, aching feeling had settled into his chest. He was beginning to see how just how much he had lost in that plane crash, and it was a difficult truth to face.

"Naturally, Aiko was much too young to go, so she stayed here with me."

Kaname and Sousuke froze. There was a long, uneasy silence.

"Aiko?" Kaname finally found her tongue.

"Yes, my granddaughter. She was only four months old at the time, so there was no way they could bring her."

"You mean I . . ." Sousuke fought to wrap his mind around what he was hearing. "They had a daughter?"

"You didn't know?" She sounded a bit surprised. "She lives with my son, Daiki, and his family now. Like I said, I see her every other Sunday. She lived here until she was ten, but when my husband passed, we decided it would be best if she were part of a normal family. I invited my son's family to come live here, but he prefers to be in the city." She went through a few boxes until she found a snapshot of a young girl who resembled Mayumi a bit.

"You know, obaasan, I think I could use some tea now, if it's not too much trouble." Kaname's throat had gone dry suddenly.

"Of course." Hanako smiled graciously, a bit confused by the teenagers' reactions. "And you, Kazama-kun? Would you like some tea?"

"Huh? Oh, affirmative. Yes, thank you." Sousuke answered a bit absently.

"Alight, I'll just be a few minutes." She made her way out of the room.

Sousuke and Kaname sat, staring at the photographs scattered in front of them. The life and people they represented were anything but distant at that moment. They weren't dreams or stories or long forgotten memories. They were real. This was where they lived. This was where they laughed and cried and fought and fell in love. This was their home. It had once been Sousuke's home, too.

"You have to tell her." Kaname was the first to break the silence.

"I can't do that," he answered flatly.

"What do you mean you can't! These people loved you. They think you died. Don't they deserve to know you didn't? Don't you want a chance to have a real family?"

"I . . ." He clenched his fists tighter, fighting for the words he needed to make her understand. "I'm not . . ."

"You're not what?" she demanded.

"I'm not the same person anymore. I'm not the person they cared for. You heard what she said. Did that sound anything like how I am!" He was actually beginning to raise his voice. "'A happy child who smiled all the time.' That child really is dead, isn't he? He died in that plane crash. They don't want to know about the life I've had since then. They don't want know that I'm . . . that I've . . ." He let out a long breath. "It's better if they remember me that way."

"Sousuke . . ." Tears began to well up in Kaname's eyes.

A teacup shattered.

Under normal circumstances, Sousuke would have easily perceived the woman's soft footsteps as she approached the room where they were sitting. It is safe to say that, on this occasion, his skills were not up to their usual standards. Clearly, an abnormal amount of emotional stress can have detrimental effects on even the most capable of soldiers.

Sagara Hanako stood in the doorway of her livingroom. One of her hands gripped the door frame while the other was brought up to her mouth in an expression of shock and disbelief. At her feet were the remains of a cup of freshly brewed tea.

"Sousuke . . ." Her voice was barley audible. "Impossible."

* * *

A/N:

Haha! I have to say I loved writing this chapter. It was a lot of work creating entirely new characters, but I'm rather pleased with how they turned out. My goal was to create interesting and believable people that you could buy as Sousuke's parents. I intentionally made their lives very different from their son's in order to highlight just how much Sousuke has been changed by the life he's been forced to lead. I hope you don't feel let down by what I've come up with. I hope I've avoided anything too cliche or corny. Please let me know what you think. Only one more chapter to go now!

I'd like to give a special thanks to Kirstian for doing a little beta work for me. It really helps to get a second opinion


	8. Endings and Beginnings

The silence that filled the room was overpowering. Somewhere down the street a man was yelling to someone. A koi splashed the surface of the pond in the garden. Sagara Hanako teetered in the doorway for what felt like minutes before finally collapsing to her knees on the livingroom floor. Sousuke jumped off the couch and rushed to help her to her feet again. Kaname moved to help him and nearly tripped on the photo album she had dropped.

"No, it's not true . . . It isn't possible . . ." the elderly woman murmured somewhat incoherently before turning her eyes desperately to the boy who was helping her off the wood floor. "You couldn't possibly be my Sousuke. He was . . . you are . . ."

Sousuke stared back at her helplessly with no idea what he should say or do. As they lead the poor woman to the couch, he gave Kaname a desperate look, but all she could do in return was shake her head sympathetically.

This was a real mess. Should he insist that she'd somehow misunderstood what they'd been saying? That they had been discussing something else entirely when she walked in? He could probably find a way to explain his way out of this situation. That was what he wanted, right? And wasn't that the right thing to do? Or would that just be running away again? Why did everything about civilian life have to be so complicated?

Hanako suddenly grabbed Sousuke's face with both hands and turned it to her. Her expression was serious and focused. At first, he thought she was going to scold him for making up lies and tormenting old ladies, but she didn't say a word. She just looked at him. She studied his features so intensely and for so long that he began to worry that perhaps she suffered from some sort of mental illness. Then, all at once, her lower lip began to tremble and large tears started to flow down her pale, weathered cheeks.

"You have your mama's eyes . . ." was all she managed to say before breaking into deep sobs and pulling him to her in a tight embrace.

Kaname watched this entire exchange with a great deal of anxiety. It was good to have things out in the open, but this was clearly not the best way to have broken such big news. The shock would have been bad enough no matter how they told her, but to overhear it that way without any kind of warning! It was a miracle she hadn't dropped down dead.

For the time being, Kaname decided to busy herself with picking up the pieces of the shattered teacup.

"It really is true, isn't it?" Hanako was finally able to speak again through her tears.

"It . . . uh . . . I . . . that's . . ." Sousuke stammered. He swallowed hard. "Affirmative." He wasn't sure where to look, so his eyes darted all around the room. Anywhere but his grandmother's face.

"But, how? Where have you been? Your papa? Is he . . ."

"No," Sousuke shook his head gravely. "I was the only one."

"I see . . . Yes, of course." She was thoughtful a moment. "If he were . . . He'd have contacted me a long time ago."

"I'm sorry, I . . . I only just found out about . . ."

"No," she put her hand on his shoulder and gave him a meaningful look. "You're here. This is enough." She touched his cheek gently and gave him a soft smile.

Then came the phone calls. Hanako had them wait while she phoned all of her family and a good many friends to tell them the miraculous news. Each call resulted in her breaking down into tears again. Sousuke began to question whether the stress was too much for someone of her years. It would be most regrettable if this reunion should prove detrimental to her health. She assured him that she was in no danger, but after a while, even Kaname began to share his concerns.

The last call she made proved the most difficult of all. That was the call to Mayumi's father. In the end, Hanako was only able to tell him that there was someone that he needed to meet and invite him to join them for dinner.

"I guess that means we're staying for dinner?" Kaname whispered to the now pale-looking boy at her side.

"It would seem so," was all he could manage in reply. The whole ordeal had his head spinning. He had only intended to learn a bit about his family's history during this meeting. A full-blown family reunion was not something he was prepared for. There were so many questions they would want answers to, and some of those answers would be impossible to give. Others would be extremely painful for them to hear.

"Oh goodness!" Hanako was suddenly panicked. "I haven't got anything for us to eat! I had planned on having leftovers! Oh dear, what time is it?"

Kaname checked her watch. "Half past five."

"I can still make it to the market if I hurry." She dashed to grab her coat. "I won't be long. You will wait, won't you? Just make yourself at home . . . This _is_ your home. I just can't believe you're really here." She stared at her grandson a moment longer before scurrying out the door, on the verge of tears yet again.

They stared after her for a long moment before Kaname turned to look at her exhausted companion. Sousuke let out a heavy sigh and walked weakly back to the couch. He sat slowly and buried his face in his hands. Kaname flopped down next to him and patted his back reassuringly.

* * *

Kaname and Sousuke soon learned that Mayumi's father, Mizuhashi Kinnori, came from a long line of well known master chefs. This fact made what was already an anxiety-inducing evening for Hanako all the more stressful. She returned from the market in remarkably little time and began frantically preparing the best meal she could think of. At first she was reluctant to let Kaname assist her, but when Sousuke insisted that Chidori was "highly proficient in food preparation," she graciously relented and was glad for the help.

"Mayumi was the real gourmet of our family. I like to think of myself as a pretty good cook, but I couldn't even compare to her. It was in her blood. Her father taught her from the time she could hold a chopstick, and Lord knows he's a perfectionist!"

"I see," replied Sousuke. He was attempting to make himself useful by grating some radish. It was not going very well.

"She had just begun teaching you the basics, too." Hanako turned and watched her grandson struggle with the vegetable.

"I guess it didn't stick too well," Kaname cocked her head to one side.

"So it would seem," Hanako smiled.

Sousuke concentrated on not cutting his knuckles . . . again.

"He must take after his father. You know, Souji actually set fire to water once! It was really quite impressive."

"Really!" Kaname could picture Sousuke accomplishing a similar feat. He'd sure set fire to plenty of other things.

"I'll tell you the story some time." She winked and turned back to the soup.

The two women worked diligently and, in a surprisingly short time, managed to pull off a more than satisfactory meal. Sousuke kept busy by cleaning dishes as they used them. He had quickly given up on helping with the food itself.

Just as they were finishing up, the doorbell rang. While Hanako went to answer it, Kaname and Sousuke carried the steaming dishes to the dining room. After a few minutes, Hanako escorted Kinnori in to meet them.

The look he gave Sousuke could have frozen the garden's little koi pond in the middle of August.

Mizuhashi Kinnori was not what anyone would call a warm or friendly man. He had been somewhat serious and reserved even as a boy, and the tragedy of losing both his wife and only child had done nothing to soften him. Even amongst his oldest friends, he rarely smiled. His lack of humor was famous amongst the sou chefs, waiters, and busboys at the restaurant his family had run for over a hundred years.

"I don't know who you are, young man," Kinnori's voice was deep and rough as he narrowed his piercing gray eyes at the teenager. "But if you think you can deceive a man of my years and experience with so obvious a lie, you are much mistaken."

* * *

Sousuke's steps were even and deliberate as he made his way toward Jindai High School. The early morning sun was low in the east, and its light caught each breath he exhaled in a small swirling cloud. January was nearly over and the air had a crispness unlike anything he had ever experienced. Or perhaps he'd just never noticed it before. It was curiously invigorating. The whole world seemed a little bit brighter and more alive, somehow. For the first time in a long time, he felt himself in high spirits.

Nearly two weeks had passed since he and Kaname had gone to visit his long-forgotten family home, and plenty had happened in the days since. Things with his grandfather had gotten off to a decidedly rocky start. Dinner had been uncomfortable to say the least. After several courses eaten in tense silence, Hanako somehow persuaded Kinnori to at least listen to Sousuke's story.

Naturally, Sousuke had omitted certain bits of information regarding his current situation. He could not risk revealing any classified information about Mithril or Chidori, even if it was to his nearest relatives. Otherwise, he did his best to account for the last 14 years of his life.

He had never realized before just how unlikely his life story sounded when spoken out loud.

In the end, though Kinnori was far from convinced by the boy's tale, Hanako felt sure he was beginning to thaw to the possibility. Sooner or later he would come around and begin to accept Sousuke into the family.

Kaname and Sousuke would have to take her word for it.

In the week or so since then he had met his aunt Rieko and all of her family, as well. He was scheduled to meet his sister that coming Sunday; a prospect that left him somewhat anxious, though he was not entirely certain why.

"Hey Sousuke!" Kaname ran to meet him as he reached the train station. "Aren't you presenting today?"

"Affirmative," he replied, "I am scheduled to present to the class fifth period."

"So which ones did you bring?"

"Ah." He reached into his book bag and produced several carefully chosen prints of Mayumi's work for Kaname to examine.

"I love this one." Kaname held up a particularly lovely photograph of a man and his small son by a garden koi pond. The boy's eyes were wide with wonder and he was pointing to a colorful fish grazing the water's surface. The man's eyes twinkled with warmth and amusement as he held the boy's waist in an effort to keep him from jumping in after the koi. The man, of course, was Souji. It was a photograph of Sousuke and his father.

"Might ruin your tough reputation, though." She laughed when he gave her a confused look. "Never mind. So do you think you're ready?"

"Yes, it's not a problem. I am sufficiently prepared." Sousuke replied with some confidence. His grandmother had been eager to help him as much as possible and provided him with more than enough information. She had also helped him choose which prints of his mother's he should bring as visual aids.

"You'd better be after all the work I put in." She grinned brightly. There would be hell to pay if he disappointed her.

"Understood."

The day passed much like any other. Sousuke had his gun confiscated when he ambushed a 'suspicious looking individual' that turned out to be the guest speaker for third-year political science. Later, Kaname nearly blew a gasket when she caught him digging through the contents of her desk. Apparently, a boy from another class had slipped something into it during passing period. He insisted it could be a bomb or some sort of toxic chemical, but in the end it was just another misguided love note.

Finally, fifth period rolled around and Sousuke was called to give his report. He took a final deep breath and headed toward the front of the class. As he pulled out his stack of photographs and arranged his notes on the teacher's podium, a strange thing happened. The corners of his mouth turned upward and his lips parted slightly revealing some of his front teeth.

It wasn't much of a smile, really, but it was a start.

THE END

* * *

A/N:

So sorry it took me forever to finish this thing, but I hope you like my ending. I plan on revisiting this timeline in the future, but for now it's done. BIG thank you to my lovely beta, Kirstian. You rock! I also want to thank everyone who read and reviewed. Your encouragement has meant a lot to me.

So what's next?I've begun outlining a newFMP fic,my yet untitled "Bunny Morauta Project." Hope you'll read that one, too. Til then, take care!


End file.

Full Metal Panic, Angst, Drama