Grey's Anatomy 1. Bugs and Barbies

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 1 – Bugs and Barbies_

''5.30.'' Addison groaned as she looked over at the alarm clock, shining the time at her in an almost threatening way as cries filled the quiet house. "Maybe they'll stop." Her husband, Derek Shepherd, mumbled against his pillow. ''They never do.'' She sighed sleepily, throwing off the covers. "Fine." He stretched his back before getting up from the bed, yawning. ''No it's okay I'll do it.'' She got out of the bed. "I'm already up." He started walking out of their room. ''Okay.'' A 23 year old Addison sighed and ran her hand through her hair before walking into her 2 year old twins' room. ''Shh mommy's here.'' He followed her into the room. "So is daddy." He went to one of the cribs and picked up his daughter that owned his black hair and Addison's green eyes. ''Hi baby.'' Addison picked up Justin who was looking at her intensely. ''Momma.'' Derek smiled at Addison before kissing the top of his daughters hair. "Hey sweetie."

Addison smiled at her husband and their daughter before looking down at their son, it was hard being 23, married, parents and second year medical students but moments like these made all the hard work and stress worth it. He sat on a chair and started talking to his daughter. "Aww, aren't you just so cute. Yes you are, my little cutie. Yes my little Hailey."

Their daughter giggled as she heard her name, the giggle was just the cutest one ever to him, except for his wife's. ''I'm gonna make their bottles.'' Addison kissed the top of Derek's head. ''Will you dress her?''  
"Okay." He looked up to her and pecked her lips.  
''Thanks honey.''  
"Welcome."

Addison left the jungle themed bedroom, carefully walking down the stairs in her shorts and tank top with the babbling two year old. Back upstairs Derek got up from the chair, walking to the changing table and carefully placing his daughter on it before going to the closet and picking some clothes for her. After that he started dressing her.

Downstairs she heated two bottles, picking up one of them as she gave one to Justin.

''Momma TV!'' He yelled excitedly while Addison walked into the living room, followed by him as she turned on the TV.

Meanwhile Hailey was fully dressed and ready to go. "Lets go find mommy." Derek picked her up and placed her on the floor, walking out of the room and soon Hailey followed him. ''Hey there.'' Addison smiled as she saw them walking down the stairs a few moments later. "Momma!" Hailey's face lit up and she took few unsure running steps. ''Hey sweetheart.'' Addison laughed as she just caught her daughter a few steps away from the sofa, just before she could fall on the floor. Derek laughed, walking to the sofa and sat down next to her. ''Morning by the way.'' She pecked his lips.  
"Morning honey." He gave her quick kiss.

''Hmm. How late does class start for you today?''  
"At 8, I think" He shrugged and turned his attention to the TV.

Addison rolled her eyes at him. ''Well I'm going to stay at home, Justin feels fever-ish.''  
"He does?" He furrowed his eyebrows together, slightly worried.  
''Yeah his face was burning yesterday.''  
"Okay." He replied and picked up his son from the floor and placed his hand on his forehead. "Did you take his temperature yet?"  
''I did yesterday.''  
"Okay, what was it then?" He removed his hand.  
''101.''  
"Okay." He nodded, placing Justin back onto the floor.

''So I'm just staying home to be sure, I'm too tired to concentrate on class anyway.''

"Okay sweetie." He kissed her cheek.

''You coming home in between classes?''

"Sure." He shrugged.

''Okay.'' She smiled a little.

"Yeah." He smiled back at her.

''How many classes do you have?''

''I'm not sure, have to check.''

''Mhm.'' She smiled when Hailey tugged at her shorts to be picked up. Derek laughed softly at the scene. He loved his life, it was rough but it was worth it when something like this happened.

''What ya doing there little one?'' Addison talked to her animatedly, placing her in her lap.

"Hungrrrry" Hailey pressured the R, pouting and tapping her belly at the same time.

''You want a bottle of milk?''

"MILK!" She said, clearly excited.

''Yes milk!'' Addison laughed, getting up from the couch.

"Milk!" She repeated again, holding tight on her mother.

''Yeah we're getting the milk.'' Addison rolled her eyes laughing as she walked towards the kitchen.

Hailey giggled at her mother, trying to roll her eyes too, failing miserably. She let out a loud laugh when she saw what her daughter was on to. ''I'm just going to take it as a positive thing that you're copying me.''

"Okay what did I miss?" Derek called from the living room.

''She tried to roll her eyes!'' Addison laughed.

"Seriously?" Derek laughed.

''Yes.'' She smiled at her daughter, handing her the bottle of milk.

"Thank you momma." She took the milk and started drinking hungrily.

''Wow you're hungry.''

She nodded and continued drinking.

''Hmm mommy's pretty little girl.'' She stroked her daughters black curls. She stopped drinking and giggled as her curls tickled her skin. Addison smiled at her cute giggle, placing a kiss on her forehead. She smiled and wrapped her arms around her mother's neck.

''Are you done with the milk?''

"Yes." She smiled and gave the bottle to Addison.

''Thank you.'' She put the milk back on the counter.

"Welcome momma." She batted her eyelashes.

Addison laughed again, Derek and she had recently began to teach them manners but while Justin didn't quite seem to get it, Hailey took it a little too literal. Hailey just simply smiled, not completely understanding why her mother was smiling.

''You sure you don't want any more milk sweetie?''

"No momma." Hailey shook her head.

''Okay.'' Addison smiled, walking back into the living room. Derek smiled as his girls stepped into the room, he was holding Justin in his lap.

''What time did you have to go again?''

"Around 7.30." He simply replied.

''Okay.'' She looked a her watch. ''It's 6.37 now.''

"So I have about an hour."

''Yeah so I'll get Justin dressed now, look after Hailey okay?''

"Okay." He placed Justin on the floor. "You go with mommy now okay?"

''Momma.'' The little boy grinned, pointing at Addison.

"Yes, mommy." Derek laughed, he had some doubts about uncle Mark teaching him some faces. He grinned even more, waddling over to Addison.

Hailey, who was still carried by her mother, started kicking. "Daddyy." She reached one hand towards Derek. Addison rolled her eyes at her daughter and put her down to the floor, somehow she had always been more closer to her father rather than her mother. Derek let a laugh escape his lips as his daughter walked towards her. When she was close enough he picked her up. She smiled widely and picked up Justin who played with her curls. ''Be right back.''

"Okay." He smiled and placed Hailey to sit on his lap, turning the TV-channel to a news-channel.

Upstairs Addison walked back into her children's bedroom, setting Justin down on the changing table. Justin smiled and patiently waited for his mother to dress him

''So what do we want to wear today Jussie?'' She smiled at him.

"Something pretty." He pouted his lips.

''Okay.'' She laughed walking over to his closet where she pulled out a green shirt and little boy jeans. ''This?''

He nodded after looking at the clothes for few moments.

''Okay.'' Addison smiled, grabbing a new diaper. Justin's face dropped, he hated diapers and changing them was just torture. She saw his change in demeanour, trying to act as if nothing was going on. ''Will you lay down for mommy please?''

He shook his head and pouted. "No."

''Sweetie please.''

"No." He repeated and shook his head again.

''Justin.'' She gave her soon her infamous glare.

Justin shook his head and looked as sad as he could, the fever might have had something to do with his actions.

''It will only take a minute and then you're already done.''

"Promise?" Justin looked up to his mother.

''Promise.''

Justin seemed to think about it for few seconds before nodding and laying down.

''Thank you.'' She pecked his cheek before leaning back up worried. ''Sweetie you're burning!'' She placed her hand on his forehead, feeling how hot it was. Justin covered his ears. "Momma that hurt." Tears started forming in his eyes. She softly stroked his black curls, concerned. ''Does your tummy hurt?''

"A little." He blinked his eyes.

''How about your head? Does that hurt?''

"My ear." He mumbled and few tears made their way down on his cheeks.

''How does it hurt?'' She looked at his left ear which was flaming red.

"It hurts." He sobbed.

''Sweetie...'' She wrapped her arms around his little body, hugging him. ''Can mommy take a look?''

He wrapped his arms around her neck and held on tight. ''Can mommy look at it Jussie?'' She whispered. He nodded bravely, trying to hold back the sobs. ''Okay.'' She softly kissed his cheek, wiping away his tears. It broke her heart to see her little boy in pain. Justin bit on his lip while his ear was throbbing like it never had before. Addison turned her head and took a look at her son's ear. A few sobs escaped his throat as his mother examined his ear. She softly rubbed his back. ''Okay, let's go downstairs and let daddy take a look okay?''

"Okay." Justin nodded his head again, wiping away some of his tears.

Addison carefully picked him up from the changing table, walking downstairs. She walked into the living room to see Derek cheerfully playing with their daughter. ''Honey would you look at his ear please?''

"What's wrong with it?" Derek asked, looking up to his wife.

''I think he has Otitis Media.''

"Ouch." He commented, getting up from the floor with a concerned face. "Lets take a look then."

Addison turned so he could look at their son's ear. He looked at it for several moments. "Yeah, it's Otitis Media."

''Hmm.'' Addison stroked Justin's still pyjama covered back. ''My poor baby.''

Derek placed his hand on Justin's forehead, noticing the same as Addison had noticed before. "He's burning."

''I know, there's no way I'm going to school now.''

"Yeah." Derek pecked Addison's lips, soon he felt Hailey wrapping her arms around his leg. "Why is Jussie crying?" Hailey asked in a whisper.

''He's a little bit sick.'' Addison explained, hugging her little boy.

"Why?" Hailey tilted her head to the side.

''His ear is hurting honey.''

Hailey nodded, processing the information she just received.

''You go get dressed now, I'll watch them.'' She told her husband.

"Thanks." he pecked her lips.

''Yeah.''

Derek smiled and started leaving, not succeeding. "Hailey babe, would you let go of my leg?" He chuckled. Addison laughed when the little girl giggled but didn't let go. ''Why don't you stay here with mommy and Justin for a bit until daddy is back?''

Hailey smiled, not letting of his fathers leg. Derek let out a laugh, not able to move. "We're saying please."

''Please.'' She rolled her eyes at the two year old. Hailey smiled, finally letting go and running to her mother's leg and holding on to it like he had held on to her father's.

''Oh great.'' She laughed and looked up to Derek. ''Better run now you still can.''

He smiled and pecked his wife's lips once more. "I'll be back in a few."

''Okay.'' Addison gave him a smile. ''Sweetie let go of my leg please.''

Derek left the room and Hailey let go of her leg, looking up to her mom. "You don't like it?" She batted her eyelashes.

''I can't walk when you do that.'' She chuckled.

"Oh." Hailey made a small smile and ran towards the couch.

''Hmm.'' Addison let out a small sigh and rubbed her forehead with her free hand, her other arm still carrying Justin. ''Grandma is going to come today.''

"Grandma!" Hailey yelled and tried to get on the couch.

"Grandma." Justin made a small smile, he loved his grandma.

''Yeah grandma.'' She smiled, helping Hailey up on the couch and then sat next to her. ''So how's my little boy doing now?''

"It hurts a little." Justin pouted his bottom lip, the pain had gone down a bit.

''You want a little kiss on it?''

"Yes." Justin smiled widely.

''Okay.'' She smiled and brought her lips to his hurting ear, barely touching it as she kissed it.

"Hailey too!" Hailey stood up on the couch, in desperate need of attention.

''And where does Hailey want a kiss?''

Hailey placed her finger on her lips. "There."

Addison pouted her lips, placing a little kiss on her lips. After it Hailey smiled widely and sat on to the couch.

''Everybody good now?'' Addison smiled.

"Yeah." Hailey looked at the TV.

"Yep." Justin grinned, looking at the TV as well.

''Well maybe mommy could use a hug.''

Justin instantly wrapped his arms around her mother and so did Hailey.

''Aww.'' Addison smiled, cuddling them against her.

Justin smiled and looked up to his mother. "I love you momma."

''Oh I love you too, I love you both, very, very, very much.'' She cuddled them closer, pecking their cheeks several times. Hailey giggled. "I love momma too." She wrapped her arms tighter around her. ''And mommy loves you too.'' She kissed the top of her small nose. The little girl giggled. "That tickled."

''Sorry.'' Addison stroked Hailey's curls out of her face. Hailey smiled. "It's okay momma."

''Good.'' She hugged them again. ''But Hailey you're going to be alone with grandma for a little while okay?''

"Alone, with grandma?" She tilted her head.

''Yes.''

"Why?" She furrowed her eyebrows together.

''I need to take Jussie to a doctor.''

"Can't you just fix Jussie?"

''I can't sweetie.''

"Why not?" She pouted.

''Because I'm not a doctor.''

"So I'm going to be alone, with grandma." She pouted her lower lip.

''Hey I thought you were happy about grandma coming?''

"But I want momma too." She made a smile.

''I won't be gone for long.''

"You promise?" She batted her eyelashes, giving her the cutest smile she knew.

''Promise.'' Addison smiled, stroking the little girl's hair.

"Okay mom." Hailey smiled and unwrapped her arms. Addison smiled at her and kissed both their cheeks when she heard Derek coming down the stairs. Soon Derek entered the room. "Hey princess." He smiled as Hailey hopped down from the couch and started running towards him. ''Careful.'' Addison warned. Hailey giggled, throwing herself in the arms of her father. Derek caught her and lifted her up. "Momma's right, be more careful." Derek smiled and gave her a little kiss on the lips. "Okay." Hailey giggled.

''You leaving?'' She looked at her husband.

"Yeah, I have to." Derek made a sad smile.

''Yeah. I know.'' She sighed. Derek walked to the couch, placing his little girl in his lap to sit on it. Addison contently stroked her son's arm, looking at her husband and daughter. Derek gave his wife a soft kiss. "I love you."

''I love you too.'' She smiled, giving him a kiss back.

"I have to leave." He pecked her lips again.

''Yep.'' She sighed, she hated it when he left. He sighed too, standing up straight.

''Do you guys wanna wave at Daddy?''

Derek laughed as both of his kids quickly waved at him.

''One more kiss.'' Addison looked up at him. Derek smiled. "Come to the hall for a while." He whispered. ''Okay.'' She gave him a confused look, getting up from the couch. ''You guys behave for a second, I'll be right back.''

They left the room and the kids continued watching TV. As they reached the hall he kissed her. She closed her eyes, softly kissing him back. He brought his hand to her cheek. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing her body against his. Derek placed his arms around her waist, kissing her passionately. Addison let out a soft moan, playing with the curly ends of his hair. Derek smiled into their kiss, his hand running up and down her back. After a while she softly pulled back from the kiss, pecking his lips one last time.

He smiled. "Bye."

''Bye.'' She gave him a sad smile. He pecked her lips again, not getting enough of her.

Addison grinned and pecked him back. ''You should really go now.''

"I don't want to..." He pouted his lips before pecking her lips again.

''I don't want you to either but in that way at least one of us will become a doctor.'' Addison let out a small smile, feeling like she had just back-stabbed herself by saying that.

"You're gonna make a great doctor." He brushed her cheek. ''Yeah.'' She plastered a smile on her face, knowing that since they had children, she didn't had it in her to become a doctor anymore. He raised his eyebrows. "I really gotta run now but we're gonna talk later, okay?" He pecked her lips. ''Okay.'' She looked at him as he opened the front door. "Love ya" He called over his shoulder as he closed the door. ''You too.'' She whispered, leaning against the wall.

Soon Hailey appeared into the hall, followed by her brother.

''Hey.'' She gave them a small smile. ''What are you doing?''

"Did daddy go?" Hailey tilted her head to the side.

''Yeah.''

Hailey nodded and reached her hands towards Addison.

''What is it sweetie?'' She took her small hands in hers.

"Jussie is hungry." She pointed at her brother.

"Yeah." Justin smiled.

''What do you want to eat?''

He shrugged.

''Well?'' She raised her eyebrow.

"Something sweet." He grinned.

''No.''

"Pleeeeease." He pouted his lips, looking up to Addison.

''It's 7.30 in the morning, no.''

"Please..." He continued.

''Nooooo.''

He pouted before walking back to the living room.

Addison rolled her eyes and followed him back with Hailey. ''Do you want a sandwich?''

"Yes." Justin smiled a little.

"Me too." Hailey smiled widely, clearly excited.

''Hmm okay, cheese?''

"Lots of cheese!" Hailey started jumping up and down.

''Oooookay.'' Addison laughed, walking into the kitchen.

Hailey followed her with Justin right behind her.

''You cheese too?''

"Yeah." Justin smiled.

''Kay.'' Addison opened the fridge. Hailey went behind her mother and looked into the fridge. She laughed and moved to the side, running her hand through her daughter's hair.

Hailey smiled and pointed at the cheese. "There!"

''Thanks honey.'' Addison grabbed the cheese and a milk carton.

She smiled proudly. "See I was useful." She turned to brag at his brother who just stuck out his tongue.

''Hey, stop that.'' She turned to the counter, getting two bottles and 4 leaves of bread.

Hailey stuck out her tongue and Justin ran to his mother. "Momma, Hailey won't stop..."

''Hailey.'' Addison gave her daughter a stern look. Hailey looked down to the floor while Justin gave her a wide smile.

''No teasing okay.'' She continued to make their sandwiches as the doorbell rang.

"Grandma!" Hailey smiled and started running towards the door.

''Only open the door if it is grandma!'' Addison yelled after them as Justin followed his twin. The twins continued running and finally reached the door.

''It's grandma!'' Justin yelled back.

''Then you can open the door.''

Hailey smiled and reached for the doorknob.

''Grandma!'' Justin squealed.

"Grandma!" Hailey threw herself against her leg, apparently she had a thing for legs.

"Hey sweeties." Theresa Shepherd smiled at the warm welcome. Justin grinned up at his grandmother and held out his arms to be picked up. Theresa smiled and picked up her grandson, giving him a soft kiss on his forehead. "Sweetie, you're burning."

''My ear hurts.'' He pouted.

"Did your mommy check on it?" She tried to make Hailey let go of her leg. Hailey giggled and held up her hands too. Theresa smiled at her, she couldn't say no to her and picked her up as well. With twin on each side of her, she stepped in to the house.

''Mom?'' Addison yelled from the kitchen.

"Yeah?" She walked further into the house, towards the source of the sound.

''Hey.'' Addison smiled at her.

"Hey." She walked over to Addison, still carrying the twins.

''Hey give grandma a break.'' She laughed.

"Addison it's okay." Theresa laughed and dropped a kiss on Addison's cheek. She smiled at her mother-in-law. ''I was just making the kids a sandwich, do you want one too?''

"If you don't mind..." She smiled at her.

''Of course not. What would you like on it?''

"Cheese is okay." Theresa smiled politely.

''All cheese.'' Addison laughed, fixing another sandwich. ''Coffee or tea?''

"We have a thing for cheese don't we?" She laughed and placed the kids on the floor. "And coffee, please."

''You do.'' She turned on the coffee maker.

Theresa laughed. "Need any help?"

''No thank you, I'm good.''

"Okay. Can I give the sandwiches to the kids?" She asked.

''Of course.'' Addison placed the sandwiches on two plastic plates and filled their bottles with milk before handing them over to Theresa. "Thank you Addie." She smiled and led the kids towards the table. Addison sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, waiting for the coffee to be done.

Soon Theresa returned to the room. "I told them to behave." She nodded towards the dining room.

''Okay.'' Addison smiled a small smile, pouring coffee into two mugs. Theresa raised her eyebrows. "What is it?"

''Nothing, what should be wrong?''

"No offence but you don't look so happy."

''Yeah well...just a little tired, that's all.''

"Yeah, 2-year-old twins at the age of 23. No wonder you're tired."

''Yeah.'' She smiled a fake smile, handing Theresa one of the two mugs.''

"Thank you Addison and you know that you can tell me anything, right?"

''Yeah, yeah. I know.'' Addison tried to shrug it off, leaning against the counter as she took a sip of her coffee.

Theresa took a sip of her coffee. "So you're okay?" She confirmed. ''Mhm.'' She looked down at her coffee. "Good." Theresa made a small smile, knowing that her daughter-in-law was lying. ''Yeah.'' Addison nodded. Theresa took another sip of her coffee and sigh of relief. "This is the best coffee in long time." She complimented with a smile. ''Really?'' Addison laughed, moving to the chair opposite to Theresa after taking a quick peek into the living room to see her children playing. "Oh yeah, I haven't had coffee in a while" Theresa laughed. "Are they behaving?" She asked.

''They are.''

"Good." She smiled.

''Yeah, they're good kids.''

"I've noticed that, apparently they come to you on this one. Derek was wild." Theresa laughed. ''Hmm.'' She smiled back at her. Theresa flashed her a smile, sipping her coffee quietly.

''So...How are things at home?''

"The normal, nothing new." She shrugged and sighed.

''That bad?''

"Seriously, I just need sex!" She slapped her mouth as soon as she realised what she just blurted out. Addison stared at her mother-in-law for a few seconds before taking a sip of her coffee again. ''Yeah that makes two of us.''

"You too?" She raised her eyebrows.

''Mhm.'' Addison groaned.

"Wow." She said obviously in shock.

''What?'' She looked up at Theresa.

"You're young and all." She shrugged.

''Yeah well, just don't have it anymore.''

"That sucks." Theresa shrugged. "Well at least you can remember the last time you had s-e-x."

''Ooooh no I don't.''

"Ouch." Theresa made a small smile. "Just talk to him."

''Well it's kind of a touchy subject and I wouldn't want to have sex with my wife either if she looks anything like me.''

"I'm sure it's not that." Theresa smiled.

''Hmm.'' She sighed and rested her head on her hand.

"I'm serious Addison." Theresa looked at her.

''What?''

"You look great, don't you doubt that." She smiled.

''I'm in my pyjama's all day when at home, make-up less and smelling like whatever my children ate that day, I do _not_ look great.''

Theresa shrugged. "Well take a look at me I'm in my 50's, even my husband won't touch me anymore."

"Do you know why?''

"Nope." She took a sip of her coffee. "And that's because we don't talk anymore."

''And why don't you?''

"I have no idea." She sighed.

''Well then I'm going to give your advise back and tell you that you need to talk to him.''

"Only if you talk to Derek."

''Right and what do you expect me to tell him?''

"Just tell him what you need." Theresa shrugged. "Or seduce him."

''I am _not_ going to seduce him.'' Addison rolled her eyes.

"Addison, just talk to him okay?"

''What? What am I supposed to say?''

"Tell him that you need S-E-X."

''That's ridiculous.''

"Yeah it is." Theresa smiled and laid her head on the table. "I'm old." She sighed.

''Hey at least your husband didn't stop wanting sex with you when you were 23.''

"It was at the age of 26." She mumbled against the table. "Two years after we had Nancy."

''You mean you didn't...'' Addison gasped.

"What?" Theresa raised his eyebrows, confused look on her face.

''You mean you hadn't have sex since then?'' She whispered.

"Oh we have, like once a month. He started working a lot at that time."

''Hmm well better sex once a month than no sex at all.'' Addison sighed. ''I think that over the last two and a half years we didn't do it more than 10 times.''

"Ouch." Theresa made a sad smile. "I would go crazy."

''Oh you would. I mean half of the time I think he's going to some secret mistress of his instead of school.''

"You think he's cheating on you?" Theresa raised her head and looked up to Addison.

''I don't know.'' She shrugged, looking down at her mug.

"He can't be, that's not like him." Theresa shook her head, it wasn't possible.

''Well than give me another explanation.''

"Erhm... he's having rough time at school." Theresa shrugged.

''Well so am I and he's not even missing half of the classes.''

"Have you complained at him of being tired?"

''I have two children under the age of three, of course I complain I'm tired.''

"That could be one reason." Theresa gave Addison a smile. "He might think you're too tired for sex."

''All the time?'' She gave her mother-in-law a 'come on' look.

"Seriously I don't think he's cheating on you." Theresa shrugged, laying her head back onto the table.

''Yeah well...'' She stirred the spoon through her already cold coffee.

Theresa finished her coffee with one sip. "You asked me previously what you should talk about. There's one subject."

''Which is?'' Addison raised her eyebrow.

"Oh just forget it." Theresa mumbled against the table.

''No, tell me.''

"Tell him about how you feel, talk things straight."

''I don't know mom it's just...sometimes I feel like we made a big mistake. I mean don't get me wrong, I love Hailey and Justin and I wouldn't want to loose them for anything in the world and beyond but sometimes I just feel that we're in the wrong time at the wrong age.''

Theresa listened to her daughter-in-law with a serious look on her face. "Addie, everybody who got two kids at the age of 23 has thought of that at least thousand times, I know I have." She sighed.

''Yeah but it's just...I love being a mom and all but I just feel like I shouldn't be one.''

"Yeah, I felt like that too but seeing how all my kids grew up. It made me feel like I created something good." Theresa made a small smile. "And then it all felt like it was worth of all those sleepless nights that I spent crying. It gets better in time, Addie."

''It'll be too late by then.''

Theresa shook her head. "It wont."

''Yes it will, I'm in the best med school you can enter and yet most of the days I don't even go to class and I won't be able to do it over when the kids are older but neither do I want to drop them off at a day-care.'' She felt tears welling up in her eyes. All this time she had kept her pain, frustration and fear inside. "Aww Addison." Theresa got up and went to the other side of the table, sitting down on the chair next to her and pulling her in for a tight hug. She moved into the hug, letting her tears fall. ''I just don't know what to do anymore.'' She sobbed. "Let it all out." She whispered, running her hand over Addison's back to comfort her. Addison clasped her hand in front of her mouth, trying to keep her sobs back as much as possible. She hand kept running on her back as she pulled her closer, she still could remember the times when she had these breakdowns.

After a few minutes Addison shakily pulled back, a few sobs leaving her throat.

"Feeling any better?" Theresa asked, wiping away Addison's tears.

''Yeah.'' She nodded. ''Sorry.''

"It's okay." She made a small smile.

''Momma?'' Justin walked into the kitchen cautiously.

"Hey Juss." Theresa made a smile, unwrapping her arms around Addison.

''What is it sweetheart?'' Addison quickly wiped away her tears again.

''My ear hurts really much.'' His bottom lip trembled.

Hailey appeared into the room, running over to her grandma. Theresa picked her up to sit in her lap. "What's wrong with him?"

''He has Otitis Media, I'm going to the doctor with him in an hour.'' She picked up her son and looked at his ear which had only gotten worse. ''Sorry I totally forgot to ask you. Could you watch Hailey until I'm back?''

"Aww, poor baby." Theresa made a sad smile and took a look at his ear as well. "And yeah, sure I can."

''Thanks mom.'' Addison gave her a grateful smile.

"My pleasure." Theresa smiled at Addison.

''So I'm going to take him upstairs to get him dressed.'' Addison stood up. ''And Hailey you still have to brush your teeth.''

"I'll make sure that my little bug does so." Theresa said giving Addison a wide smile

''Thanks.'' She smiled back, grabbing Justin's tiny hand as they walked out of the kitchen together. Theresa smiled at her granddaughter, dropping a little kiss on her hair. "How's my little bug?"

''Good!'' She grinned up at her. ''You nanna?''

"I'm good, thank you for asking." She smiled at her cute little grin.

''Welcome!''

Theresa got up, carrying Hailey and walking to the bread Addison had made for her but they had both forgot about. She took a bite of the bread.

''When will daddy come home?''

"Daddy has school and he'll come home as soon as he can, sweetie."

''I want him to come home.'' She pouted, crossing her arms.

"I know you do but daddy has to study." Hailey's grandmother smiled.

''Why?'' She kept on pouting.

"So he can be a doctor." She took another bite of her bread.

''Oh.'' She crunched up her nose, looking at the ceiling in thought.

"Yeah." Theresa smiled and walked to the fridge, opening the door. "Sweetie, would you take that orange juice for nanna?"

''Yes.'' She nodded happily, carefully taking the carton box with two hands.

"Good." Theresa smiled broadly at her, she felt so proud at the moment. She took her coffee-mug and washed it quickly.

''Can we play games when mommy is gone?''

"What games do you want to play?" She smiled, pouring some orange-juice for herself.

''Uhm...'' She titled her head to the side, looking at the glass. ''Maybe board games oh and mommy and daddy bought me a new Barbie last week!''

"Tell me." Theresa grinned.

''Because I was such a good girl last week when you came!'' She said proudly.

"Yes you were a very good girl." She laughed and took a bite of her bread.

''Yes.'' Her smile grew even more. ''And Jussie got more Lego!''

"Good." Theresa smiled. "Would you hold my bread please?"

''Okay.''

She gave her the bread and took the juice in her free hand, walking towards the table.

''Want it back now?''

"Yes please." Theresa laughed, placing the juice on the table.

''So where is grandpa?'' She gave her grandma the sandwich back and crawled onto the chair next to her.

"Grandpa is..." She thought about it for a moment. "...working, I think."

''You think?'' She looked confused.

"I don't know if he left for work yet, it's only 8.30." She glanced for her watch, making up a quick lie.

''Oh.'' She nodded.

"Mhm." Theresa smiled, in the inside she was having doubts about her husband's current location.

A few seconds later Addison walked back into the kitchen. ''And I see someone still hasn't brushed her teeth.''

"C'mon, she's holding me company." Theresa laughed, finishing her bread.

''Okay but I gotta go now, please make sure she brushes her teeth okay?''

"Okay." Theresa flashed her a quick smile.

''Thanks.'' Addison grabbed Justin's coat from the chair, pulling it on while he fought his mother, not wanting to wear it.

"No problem." She smiled at the sight, Derek had been just like Justin. After the struggle he had his coat on and Addison kissed the top of her daughter's hair. ''Mommy will be right back.''

Justin smiled at his sister and grandma.

"Bye little guy." His grandma gave him a little kiss on the forehead.

''Bye Nanna!'' He waved.

"Get well." Theresa smiled.

"Bye Jussie!" Hailey waved.

''Bye!'' He grinned at his sister as his mother walked them out of the kitchen.

Theresa smiled and finished her juice as the front door closed. "Want to show me the Barbie now?" She asked.

''Yes!'' She giggled, already running towards the living room.


	2. Old ladies, Tears and Heartaches

**Love Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 2 – Old ladies, Tears and Heartaches_

Addison sat in the doctor's waiting room with Justin in her lap, reading a magazine. Justin kept staring at an old lady in the corner, she was holding a purse with both of her hands and Justin found that very amusing. Addison looked at her watch and sighed, shifting Justin in her lap as she uncrossed and then crossed her legs again. Justin let out a laugh as the lady scratched her head. ''What are you laughing about?'' Addison looked down at him. Justin pointed at the older lady. "Look!" The lady turned to look at their direction. ''Justin!'' She scolded.

The woman furrowed her eyebrows together, giving them a weird look. ''I'm sorry.'' Addison apologized to the woman and gave her a small smile. "No, it's okay." The woman smiled. "I know that brothers can be hard. Believe me, I had 3 of them."

''Sorry?'' Addison asked confused.

"Your brother." She nodded towards Justin.

''He's not my brother.'' Addison's face fell. It was the woman's turn to be confused.

''He's my son.''

"What?" The woman asked, clearly surprised.

''I'm his mother.''

"Oh, I just thought that..." She started.

''I was his sister.'' Addison finished for her. ''I'm not, it's okay.''

"I just thought because you looked so young." The woman smiled, relieved.

''Yeah I get it.'' Addison smiled back at her, playing with Justin's hair.

"So what are you here for?" The lady asked after a while.

''He has Otitis Media.''

"My grandson had last summer." The lady nodded.

''Hmm.'' Addison nodded her head, looking down at her son.

"Momma, when do we get in?" Justin pouted, making the woman smile.

''Soon sweetie.''

"I want now!" Justin pouted his lower lip.

''Honey the doctor is still in with someone else.''

"But my ear is hurting."

''I know it is, we'll be called soon.'' She dropped a kiss on the top of his head.

Justin furrowed his eyebrows together. "Is everybody here sick?" He asked after few seconds.

''Yes.'' Addison let out a small laugh.

"What's wrong with her?" Justin pointed at the lady again.

''I don't know honey.''

"What's wrong with you?" Justin tilted his head to the side.

''Justin.'' Addison poked him. ''You don't ask something like that.''

"No it's okay. I've had high fever for almost a week and I just can't shake it off."

''Well I hope you get well soon.'' Addison smiled politely.

"I hope so too." The woman laughed.

''Hmm.'' They said in silence for a couple of seconds until the doctor called them away.

"Addison Shepherd." The doctor called, looking at the people, waiting for somebody to respond.

"Momma! That's you!"

''It is.'' She chuckled, getting up.

"Hello I'm Dr. Nick Hurley." The doctor smiled politely as they stepped into the room.

''Addison Montgomery-Shepherd.'' She replied smiling. The doctor shook her hand. "And this must be the little man..." He smiled, sticking out his hand. Justin smiled and followed his mother's example, shaking the doctor's hand in the manliest way a two-year-old could.

Addison smiled at her little boy, stroking his hair. The doctor gave them a smile. "So... what do we have here?" He went to his chair and sat down.

"MY EAR HURTS!" Justin answered.

''My husband and I think he has Otitis Media.''

"Okay." The doctor made a note, turning his attention back to them. "I could take a look at now, if you don't mind."

''Yeah.'' Addison turned Justin in her lap so the doctor could take a look at his ear.

"Thank you." The doctor carefully examined his ear while Justin patiently bit on his lip, holding back the tears.

She softly ran her hand over her son's back, wishing she could take the pain from him.

"Yes, Otitis Media. Excellent diagnosis Mrs. Montgomery-Shepherd." The doctor finished with the exam.

''Thanks.'' She gave him a small smile.

"Welcome." He flashed her a warm smile. She looked down at Justin, dropping a small kiss on his hair.

Nick looked at Justin. "Have you taken his temperature?"

''Yeah, I did yesterday, it was 101.''

"Okay, we should take his temperature now." The doctor got up, looking for the thermometer.

''Okay.''

"Would you like to do it?" The doctor offered the thermometer to Addison as he found it.

''Sure.'' She gave him a weird look, accepting the thermometer.

"I just thought it might be more comfortable for him." The doctor nodded towards Justin who had been just looking at the two of them talk.

''Okay.'' She nodded, checking his temperature. Nick sat back onto his chair, making few notes.

''May I ask what you are writing down?''

"Buy milk." The doctor gave her a wide smile.

''Oh.'' Addison laughed.

"Yeah, wives." The doctor chuckled, taking the patient chart and making few notes.

''Hey!'' She laughed. The doctor just shook his head smiling. Addison looked down at the thermometer when it beeped. ''100.''

"Okay." The doctor made another note. "That's pretty high."

''Yeah it is.''

"Mhm..." The doctor gave Justin a sad smile. "But usually this passes by itself."

''Yeah. But I have to come back when it takes longer than two weeks right?''

"Yes and then you might need antibiotics." The doctor nodded.

''Mhm.'' She nodded too.

"Yeah, so just keep an eye on him."

''I will, thank you.''

"It's my job." He smiled at her warmly.

''Yeah.'' She smiled back, getting up. Nick got up as well.

''Anyway, thank you for your time.''

"No problem, it's good that you came." Nick stuck out his hand.

''Thanks.'' She shook his hand.

"Welcome." Nick flashed her a smile.

About half an hour later Addison stopped the car when she rode up the driveway, shutting off the engine as she came out of the car, opened Justin's door and started unbuckling him from his car seat.

"Where's daddy?" Justin tilted his head, being a good boy and letting his mum unbuckle him from the car seat.

''At school.''

"When will he come home?" Justin reached for his mother's neck once he was freed.

''I don't know.'' She picked him up, shutting the car door before locking it.

"Why not?" He kept asking questions.

''Because I don't know.'' She fumbled with her keys when she reached the door and dropped them to the ground. ''Damn it!''

"Momma?" Justin looked at his mother worried. He didn't know what the words meant, but the way she said it made him feel insecure.

''What?'' She asked unconsciously annoyed, bending her knees as she tried to pick up the keys while keeping her balance with Justin on her hip.

"What's wrong?" He asked innocently.

''Nothing.'' She sighed, opening the door.

"Okay. Justin shrugged.

She walked through the door and closed it again, putting Justin down to the floor.

"Nanna!" Justin called, running towards the living room where his grandma was sitting, playing with Hailey.

"Jussie!" Theresa laughed as he saw him running towards her.

''Hey nanna.'' He smiled sweetly, hugging her.

''Coat off.'' Addison rubbed her forehead tiredly, shrugging off her own coat. Theresa gave Addison a sad smile, helping Justin remove his coat before placing a soft kiss on his forehead. Justin snuggled up into his grandmother's lap, resting his head against her chest. ''I love you nanna.''

"I love you too Jussie." Theresa smiled, hugging him tightly.

''Nanna.'' He whispered. ''I think mommy is mad.''

"Mad?" Theresa whispered back at him, furrowing her eyebrows together.

''Yeah.'' He nodded.

"I'm sure she's not sweetie." She made a small smile.

''You sure?''

"Absolutely."

''Okay.'' He nodded.

"Yeah. Now let's go put your coat away."

''Okay.'' He yawned and smiled at his sister who was talking to herself while playing with her Barbie's. ''Hey Hails.''

"Hey Jussie." Hailey grinned at her younger twin. "You want to play?" Her smile grew.

''Not with Barbie's.'' He pouted.

"What's wrong with Barbie's?" She wanted to know, crossing her arms.

''Barbie's are for girls.''

"You could play with Ken!" She picked up Ken from the floor that was dressed in a bright pink dress.

''Noooo!'' He scrunched up his nose.

"Fine!" Hailey stuck out her tongue, placing Ken back onto the floor.

''We could play with my new Lego?'' He offered.

"Can Barbie come too?" Hailey batted her eyelashes, giving him a hopeful smile.

''Hmm okay.''

"Yay!" Hailey smiled. "Where's your Lego?"

''Mommy has it!''

"She does?" Hailey asked, getting up from the floor.

''Yep.''

"Go get it."

Hailey ordered her brother.

''You come.'' He stood up straight.

"Okay." Hailey grabbed Justin's hand. He giggled as they both excitedly ran towards the kitchen together.

About 3 hours later Derek entered the house, walking through the hall and taking off his coat. "I'm home!"

''Daddy!'' Justin ran towards his father, totally forgetting about the Lego he was playing with.

"Heyy!" Derek smiled, capturing Justin in to his arms as he reached him.

''Hey daddy.'' He grinned. Derek kissed the top of his head softly. "You feeling any better?"

''Little.'' He pouted. ''Momma took me to doctor.''

"And what did the doctor say?" He walked towards kitchen, hoping to find his wife in there.

''I don't know.'' He shrugged.

"Too medical for you?" Derek laughed softly, walking into the kitchen and seeing Addison sitting opposite to his mother. Addison sighed pinching the bridge of her nose without turning around.

"Good morning ladies." Derek said and walked over to the table.

''Hey.''

Derek sat down next to Addison with Justin on his lap.

"Hello Derek." Theresa smiled.

''Excuse me.'' Addison got up, walking out of the kitchen.

Derek furrowed his eyebrows together, turning to look at his mother. Theresa shook her head at him, letting him know to better not follow her. Derek sighed, putting Justin down to the floor. "Go play with your sister, okay?"

''But you play with me later?''

"I promise sweetie." Derek faked a smile.

''Okay.'' He grinned, walking, or in his case rather wobbling, back into the living room. As his son exited the room, he laid his head on the table sighing rather loudly.

''What is it sweetie?'' Theresa asked her son, softly stroking his hair.

"I don't know." He hit his head to the table gently.

''You know you can tell me.''

"Mom, I'm not going to talk about _this_ subject with you."

''Derek, trust me you want to talk about it.''

"Actually no I don't." He refused to talk.

''Derek.'' She gave him a stern look.

"Mom. Do you know what's wrong with Addison?" He still refused to talk about it.

''I might.''

Derek raised his head from the table, that one got his attention. Theresa raised her eyebrow.

"Tell me."

''Ha no.'' She shook her head, smiling at him.

"Mom!"

''Yes?''

"Seriously?"

''Seriously.''

"Please, I can't talk to her about this."

''Talk to her about what exactly?''

"About all this." He put his head back onto the table.

''Derek just tell or I might as well leave.''

"Addison seems distant." He sighed. "She seems so tired and fragile... "

''Well of course she is. Is that what you are worrying about so bad?''

"Well there's more."

''Tell.''

"It's just that I... have needs."

''Needs...as in sexual needs?'' Theresa raised her eyebrow. Derek nodded, laying his head back onto the table.

''And you think Addison doesn't have those?''

"I don't know mom."

''Well why didn't you talk to her about this?''

"It's not that easy."

''She's your wife. Why is that not easy?''

"We don't talk about sex." Derek shook his head sighing.

''What?'' She looked at her son unbelievably. ''Why not?''

"Umm…'cause it's weird?" Derek raised his eyebrows.

''It's not weird.'' Theresa rolled her eyes at her son. Gosh he could be stubborn at times.

"It is weird." Derek sighed. "Could we just like change the subject?"

''No we can't, I told you to talk about it and if you won't...then well, I'm leaving.''

"Mom, there's nothing to talk about it. That's the problem." He raised his eyebrows, trying to make her understand their situation.

''Well the problem is that you don't have sex anymore, am I right?''

"Yes." He simply replied, not wanting to discuss this subject.

''Why not?''

"I don't know, she's so tired all the time and so am I..." He sighed, he really didn't know what was the problem.

''So that's why you don't have sex anymore...because you're tired?''

"I don't know..." Derek shook his head, he couldn't believe that they had ended up here.

''Derek...'' She pleaded with her son, she really did want to help him and his wife.

"Mom, I really don't know why."

''Well did you sleep with another woman?''

"WHAT?" Derek got up with a shocked look on his face.

''Did, or did you not sleep with another woman?'' She repeated calmly.

"Why- What-? What makes you think that?" He asked, still in shock by his mother's question.

''Answer my question.''

"Of course not! I love her, she's my wife!"

''Well your wife, who you claim to love, thinks you did.''

Derek furrowed his eyebrows together. "She thinks that I cheated?"

''She's assuming that you have another woman, yes.''

''I never said that _I_ thought you were so keep down your voice for gods sake!''

Derek sat back onto the chair, shaking his head before sighing.

''What?''

"How can she think cheated on her?" He rubbed his forehead with his hand.

''Because you never do it with her anymore. She thinks she isn't attractive anymore.''

His jaw dropped. "What? She's like a goddess to me. I love her more than anything."

''Then why for the love of god won't you have sex with her?''

"I don't know okay?"

''She lost a lot of weight you know.'' She said in a softer voice.

"Why?" Derek furrowed his eyebrows together.

''Well I don't know, she's your wife. I just noticed.''

"Oh gosh, how did we end up here?" He mumbled, more to himself than his mother.

''I don't know honey.'' She placed her hand over his.

"Don't." He shook his head, pulling back his hand.

''Derek.''

"Mother." He said in a bitter voice.

''Derek I didn't put you into this position you did this all by yourself.'' She spat, getting up from the chair. ''I'm just feeling sorry for Addie right now.''

Derek shook his head. "Could you go, please?"

''Oh I'm already leaving.'' Theresa said angrily, walking away from him.

"Good!" Derek yelled at her, burying his head to his hands as his mother left the room.

After Theresa left Addison walked into the kitchen angrily pulling on her coat. ''I'm going to the grocery store.'' She said coldly. Derek nodded, hoping that she wouldn't have noticed the few tears on his cheeks that he had quickly wiped away as she stepped into the room. She let out a snort, shaking her head at him before walking out of the kitchen. He shot an angry look behind her.

''We're going to go grocery shopping.'' Addison announced to Justin and Hailey who were still playing in the living room. ''Get your coats on please.''

"But I want to play with daddy!" Hailey protested.

''You can play with daddy later.''

Hailey pouted her bottom lip as she got up from the floor. Justin gave his mother a confused look, she was never like this. But he got up nonetheless, walking into the hallway with his sister where Addison put their coats on, slamming the door hard when she closed it behind them.

At the same night, Derek was sitting on the bed, taking off his shirt as Addison stepped into the room after saying goodnight to their kids. She looked at his muscled back before walking towards the big closet, starting to casually take off her blouse with her back towards him. Derek turned to look at her over his shoulder, admiring her body for few seconds before continuing the undressing. She threw her white blouse in the laundry hamper, starting to unzip her high-waist black skirt. Derek walked over to Addison, throwing his shirt to the same place as she did. She didn't turn around on purpose, letting her skirt slid to the floor when she took off her heels. His eyes enjoyed the sight for a moment or two before taking off his jeans.

She took off her bra, opening the closet to search for pyjama's. Derek threw the jeans in to the laundry hamper and opened his closet door, taking pyjama bottoms. She sighed, running her hand through her hair before pulling a tank top over her head. He put on his pyjama bottoms before walking towards the bed, not bothering to put on the top. She pulled out a pair of sweatpants, slipping it on. Derek threw off the covers and laid down on the bed.

After she was dressed she walked towards the bed, slipping under the covers as far away from him as she could without falling out of the bed. He sighed, turning to look at her. Addison saw him looking at her, turning on her side with her back towards him on purpose. "Addie..." He started, finding it incredibly hard to talk. ''What?'' She kept her back towards him. "Are we going to talk about this?" He asked, sighing again, not on purpose.

''About what?'' She turned to lie on her back.

"About us." He simply replied.

''I don't know what's there to talk about anymore.'' She said quietly. He closed his eyes for a moment. "What do you mean by that?"

''I don't know.''

Silence fell over them. After few moments he said something, so quietly that she could barely hear it. "I didn't cheat."

''But?''

"But I..." He mumbled, taking a deep breath before saying something that he had kept inside of him all these months. "...kissed someone."

''What?'' She looked at him blankly, tears welling up in her eyes. He blinked his eyes, trying to keep back the tears that started building up in his eyes as well. "I'm not proud of it but it's... the truth." Addison stared at him for several seconds before throwing back the blankets, getting out of bed. "Addison..." He looked up to her, the regret was visible in his eyes. She held up her hand shaking her head. ''Don't.'' He looked down to his hands that had started shaking a little. "Addison..." He started again. ''No.'' She crossed her arms, resting one hand on her forehead so he couldn't see her face.

He closed his eyes and bit on his lip. She let out a cynical laugh before burying her face in her hands as she started to sob.

"I'm sorry" He looked up to his wife sobbing, feeling the tears starting to pour on his face.

''No.'' She sobbed. ''Where did this happen? When?''

"Few months ago." He mumbled.

''Where?''

"After a class, I helped her with this thing..."

''Oh my god.'' She started to cry harder, not wanting to believe it. ''Who is she?''

"Addison it doesn't matter..."

''Well apparently to you she does.''

"Nicole." He whispered, knowing that she needed a name.

"Marvel?''

"Yes." He simply answered.

''Oh my god.'' She said again, shaking her head sobbing as she walked out of the room.

"Addison" He got up from the bed and followed her out of the room. ''Go away.'' She whispered, walking towards the stairs. "Addison." He continued following, knowing that he couldn't possibly leave the kids alone. The game was over if she walked out. She walked down the stairs, quickly making her way through the front door bare foot and still in a tank top and sweatpants. "You're gonna catch pneumonia please get back inside!" He called. She silently shook her head, crossing the street in the dark. Derek shook his head, walking into the kitchen and taking his bottle of scotch, sitting down on the chair and placing his phone on the table. Addison walked through the streets, her feet were hurting, she was cold and still couldn't stop her tears from falling.

About 10 minutes later a door bell rang at Shepherd's house. Theresa woke up from the couch, got up and walked to open the door, revealing Addison, shaking from the cold. "Addison!" She gasped.

''Can I come in?'' She managed to get out in between sobs and shaking.

"Of course." Theresa furrowed her eyebrows together.

''Thanks.'' She clutched her arms tighter around herself as she stepped inside the house.

Theresa wrapped an arm around her after closing the door. "What happened?"

''He. cheated.'' She sobbed.

"Oh my god." Theresa gasped. "What? When?"

''A few months ago.'' Fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.

"I'm so sorry Addie." Theresa tightened her grip, placing a soft kiss on her hair.

''I. hate. him.'' She sobbed, clasping her hand in front of her mouth, trying to keep her sobs down.

Gabriel walked down the stairs and saw his wife hugging Addison. "What's going on?"

"Something happened." Theresa shook her head in disbelief.

"Okay." He looked at them. "Care to tell me?"

"Derek cheated." Theresa looked at her husband in a sad way.

"What?" He yelled shocked. Addison nodded, trying to wipe away most of her tears that kept on falling.

"How?..."

''He kissed someone else.'' She said quietly.

"The son of a... Where are the kids?"

Theresa stayed silent, holding Addison and stroking her back to calm her down.

''Home.''

"With him?"

She just nodded, sniffing her nose.

"He doesn't deserve to have them."

''They're his kids too.''

"Gabriel, shut up!" Theresa spat.

"What?"

"You heard me very well mister."

"Oh right so you're on his side?"

"Of course I'm not but like she said, they're his kids too!"

"Still."

"Just shut up."

''Please stop.'' Addison sighed, rubbing her forehead.

"Fine."

Theresa gave Gabriel a glare before turning back to Addison.

"I'm going." He said, throwing his hands up.

"Sorry to disappoint you but you're not going anywhere." Theresa said.

"So you want me to stand here and say nothing?"

Theresa rolled her eyes. Gabriel moved and sat down on the couch.

''I'm just going to go.'' Addison shook her head, they clearly had their own problems and she didn't want them to be having to deal with hers too.

"Sit down Addison." Theresa ordered.

"Yes, sit down."

''Really I don't want to put this on you and it's late, I shouldn't have come here, I'm sorry.''

"It's fine."

"It is."

''No really.'' She shook her head, wanting to hit herself for even coming here.

"I don't want to yell Addison, so I'm asking once more for you to sit down."

''You're his parents, it was stupid to come.'' She continued.

"No it's not."

"Yeah, we're here for you."

''You're supposed to support him...''

"Not if he cheats."

"Sweetie, he cheated. I'm not going to support him on this."

Addison sighed loudly, sitting down.

"Sometimes I wonder how you ever fell for him." Gabriel sighed.

''What? Why?'' She looked up at him, slightly taken aback. Theresa raised her eyebrows, deciding not to say anything.

"Because you're a beautiful intelligent woman, who just doesn't look like she would fall for Derek."

She let out a cynical laugh as she pinched the bridge of her nose. Theresa shook her head, still not sitting down.

"It's true."

"Just shut up and look into the mirror." Theresa shook her head, getting enough of this.

"What?"

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." Theresa turned around.

"Okay."

''See I'm just making things worse here.'' Addison sighed.

"No, you're not."

''I am.''

"You're not making things worse, I am." He sighed

''Why?'' Addison looked over at him.

"By how I reacted to it all."

''I'm sorry about that...''

"Not your fault."

''Actually it is.''

"It's not, I just need to keep my mouth shut for once."

''You didn't say anything wrong...''

"I did." He sighed. "Look, you can stay for however long you want."

''No really, thanks but I really don't want that.''

"Where are you going to stay then?"

''I don't know.'' She shrugged, looking down at her bare feet which were having a purple colour to them. They suddenly heard the front-door close powerfully as Theresa exited the house. ''Great.'' Addison sighed when she heard Theresa leaving, knowing she was probably heading to Derek. Gabriel sighed and looked at Addison.

''What?'' She looked up when she saw him looking at her.

"Nothing, you just look so broken."

''Yeah well...that's how I feel.''

"For how long did he cheat?"

''I don't know...once I guess.''

"Do you know who he cheated with?"

''Yes.'' Addison let out a sigh.

"Who?"

''The prettiest girl from school...''

"Oh..."

''Yeah...'' She sighed again, burying her head in her hands.

"So he let his dick rule his head."

''He didn't sleep with her...or well he said he didn't...''

"Okay then." He was slightly confused but didn't let it show.

''He kissed her.''

"Oh."

''Oh?''

"Oh, he's got some commitment to you if he didn't sleep with her."

''Yeah?''

"Yeah."

''They were in class.'' Addison said. There was no way she could be sure that he wouldn't have slept with her if they were somewhere else.

"In front of other people?" He asked in disbelief.

''No alone, I guess...''

"Okay."

''And now I know you must think oh it's just a kiss but it's not about the kiss.''

"I know it's not, he betrayed you."

''Yes.''

"I can understand that."

''Really?''

"Yes."

''Okay...'' She sighed as silence fell over them. ''Gosh what am I supposed to do now?'' She asked out loud, more to herself than her father-in-law.

"Talk to him about it."

''What's there left to talk about?''

"About how you feel about all of this."

''Well honestly I don't know what to think about this all.'' She stared in front of her for a few moments. ''I think I'm going to ask a divorce.''

"Are you sure that's what you want?"

''No. But I don't see a future in this anymore.'' Addison paused. ''It has nothing to do with the kiss but the kiss just made me see that we crossed the finish line a long time ago.''

"Do you still love him?"

''That has nothing to do with this.''

"It does, if you still love him, you should fight."

''It's too late for that.''

"Why?"

''Because there's nothing left to fight for...there's nothing left to save.'' Fresh tears made it's way down her cheeks. ''I guess people were right after all.''

''There is if you fight and what people?''

''All those people who told us getting married young was a bad idea, and that deciding to not break off the pregnancy would break us apart.''

"You and Derek seem so happy though, and you love the kids, don't you?"

''Of course I love my children.''

"Then those people weren't right."

''I guess it's pretty obvious right now that they are.''

He sighed.

''I just don't get where it all went wrong.''

"Marriage is like a rollercoaster."

''Yeah...I guess that's true.''

"You just have to keep fighting through the hard times."

''We stopped fighting a long time ago Mr. Shepherd, both me and Derek.''

"Call me Gabriel."

She rolled her eyes, he had always insisted on her calling him Gabriel but she never even got to call her own grandmother grams so it felt weird to call him Gabriel though she always called Theresa mom.

"I think you and Derek need to have a good long serious talk."

''I don't think it will matter.''

"Why not?"

''Because we used to always have this amazing click...magic. And the magic, or whatever you want to call it, it's gone.''

"So you're just going to give up on the man you love?" He raised an eyebrow.

''No, I'm giving up on the man who doesn't love me anymore.''

"How do you know that?

''Because, like I said, the magic is gone, there's no longer a connection.'' She tried to put her feelings into words. ''We haven't truly been together ever since the twins were born, let alone being intimate.''

"That doesn't mean he doesn't love you."

''Doesn't it? Because we used to barely be able to keep our hands off of each other and now I can walk around the house naked and he won't even look up at me.''

"You still love him."

''He's the love of my life...I will always love him.''

"And I know he loves you."

''How do you know?''

"You are the love of his life as well, you know."

''Then love's just not enough.''

"I think you two have forgotten about each other and yourselves."

''I just don't think it's fair, we're only hurting each other right now and let's not forget there are children in this.''

"Do you really want this?"

''I want him to be happy.''

"I know but you have to think about your happiness as well."

''I will be happy if he's happy.''

He raised his eyebrows not really believing her.

''It wouldn't be fair to us or to our children if we continue this.''

He sighed. "You should talk to Derek."

''I know.''

"Okay."

''I just want to give him time to decide what he really wants.'' She lied, she didn't want to talk to him because she was scared he would leave.

"He'd be a fool to leave you."

''He can have any girl he wants.'' Addison shook her head.

"He'd be a fool."

''Or a happy man.'' She raised her eyebrow, feeling a heavy lump form in her throat at the thought of him being happy with another woman...another family.

"I don't think he would be."

''Why not?''

"Because I've never seen him as happy as he is with you."

''Then what did I do wrong?'' She asked barely audible as more tears fell.

"I don't know, I don't think you did."

''If I didn't I wouldn't be sitting here. I tried so much, new clothes, new hair, I lost weight but nothing worked.''

"I don't know." He said sadly.

''Yeah...'' She looked at her feet which were still numb from the cold. ''Me either.''

He sighed and wondered what the hell had got into his son.

''He didn't even come after me.'' She whispered.

"Maybe he just needs time to cool down."

''Maybe...''

"Why don't you just get some sleep for now."

''Yeah.'' She nodded and got up. ''Thanks...Gabriel.''

"No problem." He gave her a smile. She gave him a small smile back, walking towards the stairs.

"Night." He called.

''Goodnight.''


	3. Anger, Cheating and Unsaid apologies

Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing

_Chapter 3 – Anger, Cheating And Unsaid Apologies_

A few minutes later Theresa Shepherd reached her son and daughter-in-law's house, knocking on the door furiously. Derek raised his head from the table, getting up and going to the door. He opened the door, not caring who it was. He was numb. When the door opened she stood eye in eye with someone who only looked like her son at the outside.

"Mother." He said in a cold way, not caring about anything at the moment.

''Derek are you drunk?''

"No." He said, walking towards the living room.

''Derek.'' She sighed, following him.

"Mother." He said again, sitting down on the couch, waiting for her to start talking.

''You cheated...'' She started.

"I didn't sleep with anybody. It was just a kiss, kiss that lasted for 5 seconds."

''It's not about one stupid kiss. It's about the fact that you wanted to kiss someone else.''

"I don't want anybody else, I love Addison. I love my wife."

''Then why are you paying more attention to some random slut than to your wife?''

"I don't, I pulled back from her. I didn't even start the kiss!"

''But you kissed her, you would have just told Addison the moment after it happened if you were innocent in this.''

"I was going to, I really was..."

''But why didn't you?''

"I couldn't bring myself to do it, to confess that I just had cheated on the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with."

''But than why did you decide to tell her now? After all those months?''

"I've felt so guilty about it for months, I've wanted to tell her..."

''So you didn't really cheat?'' She asked softly, suddenly feeling guilt wash over her for accusing him.

"I didn't sleep with Nicole if you're asking that."

''No I knew that...''

"Okay..."

''I'm sorry for accusing you, I thought there was more going on.'' She apologized.

"Well there's nothing going on."

''But why did you neglect her so bad?''

"I don't know mom." He shook his head. "Is she at your house?" He asked quickly.

''Yeah she is.''

"Okay." He nodded. "Did you give her anything warm to drink or a blanket? It's cold out there."

''I don't know, she's with your dad.''

"Oh god what did I do?" He whispered.

''You can still make it up sweetheart.''

"How? It's unforgivable."

''It's not, you just...you told it wrong so she took it the wrong way.''

"Oh god oh god oh god..." He ran a hand though his hair. "I didn't even go after her."

''Why didn't you?''

"Kids." He simply answered.

''Kids?'' She gave him a confused look.

"I possibly couldn't leave them alone in the house..."

''You still should have gone after her...''

"I know." Derek sighed shaking his head.

''Now she thinks you just didn't care.''

"I know that damn it." He hit his head.

''No swearing.''

He shot her a look.

''Honey...''

"Mom."

''You need to make this right, you won't EVER find someone like her again.''

"I know, she's the love of my life..." Derek shook his head, how could he be so stupid?

''She is.'' Theresa smiled.

"What am I gonna do?" He turned to look at his mother.

"I can't sleep without her, never really could." He confessed, slightly embarrassed.

''Just try honey, you need some sleep.''

"Okay." He nodded, getting up from the couch he was sitting on.

''It'll all be okay sweetie.''

"I know, it has to." He walked towards the stairs.

''Night.'' She called after him.

"Night." He said over his shoulder, not sure if she had heard it, not actually caring if she didn't. He sighed and walked up the stairs into their bedroom, laying on his wife's side of the bed and burying his head in her pillow, not managing to sleep.

After 30 minutes Theresa made her way upstairs, deciding to check on the children.

Hailey woke up at the sound that door made. "Mamma?" She asked in a whisper.

''No it's grandma.'' Theresa whispered, walking into their room.

"Oh." Hailey said and turned to look at the direction of the sound.

''Hey sweetie.'' She said on her bed, softly stroking her soft curls.

"Hey Nana." She yawned, giving her grandma a sparkling smile afterwards.

''We're you sleeping sweetheart?''

"Yeah." She looked at her grandma, not feeling tired anymore.

''Sorry.'' She pecked the top of Hailey's head.

"It's okay Nana." Hailey smiled and stretched up her arms as to be picked up. Theresa smiled, picking her up to sit in her lap.

"What are you doing here?" She asked after few seconds.

''I'm going to baby sit you and Jus in the morning for a little bit.''

"Oh." Hailey yawned again. "Why?"

''Because your mommy is at my and grandpa's house and daddy is going there too tomorrow.''

"Why?" Hailey tilted her head innocently.

''Because they need to talk.'' She looked at Hailey, she was the perfect combination of Derek and Addison.

"Okay." Hailey nodded at the answer.

''So you're going back to sleep now?'' Theresa was glad Hailey didn't understand what was going on.

"Okay." Hailey yawned, feeling tired once again.

''Night sweetheart.''

"Night Nana." She smiled, hugging her grandma.

''I love you.'' She cuddled the girl against her.

"I love you too Nana." Hailey whispered, starting to fall asleep on her grandma's lap. Theresa smiled at her, gently shifting her off her lap and back onto the mattress, tucking her in. Hailey's thumb went into her mouth as she tugged her in.

''Night Bug.'' She whispered, kissing the top of the little one's head before moving to Justin's little bed. Justin stayed peacefully asleep.

''Hey little boy.'' She whispered softly, stroking his black curls. ''Sweet dreams.''

Justin rolled onto his side, opening his eyes slowly.

''Hey baby.'' She whispered. ''Go back to sleep.''

"Night Nana." He closed his eyes again.

''Night.'' She smiled, walking towards the door, leaving it open a little.

The morning after Derek was pacing in front of the house he had spent his childhood in, the house he loved and used to call home. He rang the door bell, waiting for somebody to open the door for him. A few seconds later Gabriel, his father, opened the door, clearly surprised at the sight of Derek. ''Son.''

"Father." He said. "Can I come in?"

''Yeah...of course.'' He stepped aside.

"Thank you." Derek said and stepped into the house. "Is she still sleeping?"

''Yeah. Where's your mom?''

"With the kids." He ran a hand through his hair.

''Of course she is.'' Gabriel chuckled lightly. ''Do you want something to drink? Or eat? I don't suppose you have had breakfast yet.''

"No, I can't eat but I could take coffee if you don't mind." He gave his father a small smile.

''Of course not.'' He walked into the kitchen.

"Good." Derek followed him.

''So...how are you?'' Gabriel poured him some coffee in a mug, making one for himself too.

"How do you think I am?" He raised an eyebrow.

''You're right.'' He nodded. ''Black right?'' He mentioned the coffee.

"Yeah, black." Derek made a small smile. "Is Addison okay, did you give her something warm? It was so cold last night and-" He started rambling.

''She just went to bed.'' He shrugged.

"Shit, I hope she didn't catch anything." Derek ran a hand through his hair again.

''Derek don't worry about that right now okay, she came here like that herself, she could have grabbed a coat and put on shoes.''

"Dad, I had just confessed the woman that I had kissed someone else... it's my fault."

''You're a fool you know.'' He shook his head unbelievably.

"I know." He shook his head as well.

''There are hundreds of men who would take your position in a heartbeat.''

"I love Addison, I really love her."

''I know you do Der, you shouldn't tell me that.''

"Okay." He looked down, not sure what to do or say when he'd meet his wife.

''So what are you going to tell her?'' He raised his eyebrow, taking a sip off his coffee. Derek took his coffee. "The truth, that the kiss lasted for 5 seconds and I didn't even start it." He shrugged.

''You think she'll believe that?''

"I don't know. I hope so..." Derek took a sip of his coffee.

''Me too...me too.''

"Yeah." Derek took another sip. "You think she can forgive me?"

''I- I don't know.'' Gabriel wasn't sure if it was his place to tell his son what his wife had said mere hours ago to him.

"What?" Derek looked up to his father, furrowing his eyebrows together.

''Nothing. But Derek, prepared for the option that she won't forgive you.''

"Yeah..." Derek looked down to his coffee, seeing his reflection, not liking what he was seeing.

''Are you going to wait until she wakes up?''

"Yeah, she needs her sleep. If she doesn't get to sleep she gets cranky and drinks at least two mugs off coffee." Derek chuckled shaking his head.

''Okay.'' Gabriel chuckled a little too. His and Derek's relationship has never been good.

"So... how you been?" He asked, taking another sip of his coffee.

''Good, good.''

"Great." Derek managed to make small smile before an awkward silence fell over them.

''What about the kids?''

"They're good kids, you should drop by some day."

''Yeah I should.'' Gabriel nodded, the last time he saw them the twins couldn't even walk yet.

"Yeah." Derek gave him another smile, starting to relax in his company.

''They're two right or three now?''

"Two, turning three in few moths." He chuckled.

''Wow...''

"Yeah, they're growing way too fast."

''Yeah feels like yesterday you almost gave your mother a heart attack, announcing you were expecting a baby.''

Derek laughed rather loudly at that. " She really wasn't into the idea. Or remember when we told that it was twins?"

''Yeah she just looked at you for five minutes.'' Gabriel laughed, although they were so young and busy they had still turned to be amazing parents.

"Yeah." Derek smiled, trying to stop the laughing.

''So what are the kids like?''

"They're amazing, Hailey is just adorable, yesterday she tried to roll her eyes, she's so outgoing and all..." Derek could have gone on about this for hours or even days.

''She sounds like Addison.'' He laughed.

"Yeah, she's just like her mother." Derek let out a laugh.

''And what about Justin?''

"Justin is the opposite of Hailey, he's quieter but still when he starts talking there's no end of it."

''Can you already have real conversations with them?'' Last time he had seen them they would only brabble out a few words and some baby babble.

"Yeah, we can actually talk with them." He said, feeling quite damn proud.

''That's pretty cool.'' Gabriel smiled at his son.

"Yeah it is." He smiled widely back at his father.

''Well enjoy it while it lasts.''

Derek looked up to his father. "Yeah..."

''Because before you know, she's going on dates with guys and you'll walk in on him having sex with someone who is apparently his girlfriend.'' Gabriel smirked.

"Oh my god no!" Derek spilled out his coffee that he was currently drinking.

''Hey happened to me as a father.'' He shrugged.

"Right." Derek laughed. "I should have locked the door."

''Yes.'' He grunted.

"Sorry." He smirked.

''Just be glad I didn't tell your mother. Sex at 16, she would've died if she knew.''

"Yeah, I can almost hear the screaming." He let another laugh escape.

''Yep.'' He laughed. ''Addison couldn't look me in the eye for months.''

Derek laughed again. "True, it was kinda embarrassing to be caught having sex up against a wall, at the age of 16."

''And so inappropriate.'' He shook his head, remembering the speech he had giving Derek about learning to respect women.

"And mind blowingly good." He grinned, knowing how his father would react to him saying that.

''Tell me about it. But you'll think differently if it would be your own son or daughter.''

Derek laughed shaking his head at the same time. "Yeah, I just hope they'll be unsocial teenagers."

Gabriel laughed, rolling his eyes. Derek smiled and started sipping his coffee quietly.

''So you better wake up your wife.''

"Oh god she's going to freak out." He finished his coffee.

''Just stay calm.''

"Oh god." Derek ran a hand through his hair, getting nervous again.

''Derek, relax. You said it yourself, nothing happened.''

"Yeah but she thinks something did happen."

''Well then explain that it didn't.''

"Where is she?" Derek asked.

''Upstairs, in your old room.''

"Okay." He closed is eyes for a moment.

''Good luck son.''

"Thanks dad." He made a nervous smile before putting down his coffee and waking up the stairs and into his old room.

Addison was still asleep under the thin covers, mascara streaks over her face and the pillow. He looked at the sight, it made his heart die little by little. He closed the door as silently as he could, oh how he just wanted all this to be over and just hold her in his arms, take the pain away. She stirred lightly but didn't wake up, crawling into a tighter ball. He walked even closer, when he reached her he started calling her name quietly, trying to wake her up. She didn't wake up, hugging the pillow in her arms tighter.

He sighed, calling her name a little louder. "Addie..."

''Hmm?'' She stirred lightly.

"Addie, it's me don't freak out please..." He continued talking with the same calm voice.

''Derek.'' She mumbled, still sleep drunk.

"We need to talk sweetie..." He continued. She rubbed her nose, slowly opening her eyes as she looked at him for several seconds. ''Derek...''

"Let me talk. Yes, I kissed her, actually no, she kissed me. And the kiss lasted for 5 seconds before I understood and pulled back from her, the kiss was left alone and never ever discussed about until yesterday." He started rambling and talked way too fast for her to understand him. Addison just looked at him silently. "Addison please say something." He begged.

''How do I know you're not lying?''

"Because you're supposed to trust me but I'm not worth trusting for so I guess you should just... trust me." He was nervous and he had a habit of rambling.

''Why didn't you tell me?''

"I chickened out, I couldn't say it, make it real..."

''Make it what?''

"Make it official, that I had just cheated on you." He looked away from her for a while before turning to look at her again. Addison didn't reply, fumbling with the bedding. "I'm sorry Addison." He sighed.

''We were already over long before yesterday.'' She suddenly said.

"What?" He asked quietly.

''We already ended a long time ago, we just didn't want to admit it.''

"Addison please don't say that." He begged.

''It's true, you know that it is.''

"It can't be." He shook is head. "I love you Addison."

''But you're not _in_ love with me anymore.''

"What makes you think so?" He tilted his head slightly, not believing this was over.

''We stopped doing things together, taking the time for each other, stopped having sex...we stopped being a couple.''

"We didn't stop being a couple, we could fix this..."

''We can't.'' She shook her head and looked back up to him. ''I want a divorce.''

He gasped and just looked at her in shock.

''I'm tired of trying to fight for your attention, changing myself to just get disappointed every time.''

"Addison, I'm sorry I was absent. Please we can make it."

''We can't, I'm done.''

"Addison please, I need you."

''You don't, you've been fine without me.''

"Last night, I couldn't sleep because I'm used to you sleeping next to me. I need you."

''So I should just stay to warm your bed?''

"No, that's not my point. My point is that I need you to be with me." Derek looked into her eyes.

''Stop being so goddamn selfish!'' Tears welled up in her eyes.

"Addison, please." His eyes started tearing as well.

''No.'' She shook her head. ''I'm done.''

"I'm sorry I didn't see you Addison." Derek tried once more.

''It's too late to apologize.''

"It's never too late." He shook his head and a tear fell down his cheek.

''It is now.'' She said sadly.

"Addison don't say that... it's never too late."

''It is Derek, goddamn it!''

"Addison please! I'm in love with you, you're my oxygen, I need you!"

''You didn't realise what you got until it's gone, it's not my fault.''

"It can't be over." He shook his head.

''It is.''

"Addison please, lets try again, make things right." Derek shook his head and more tears fell on his cheeks.

''Derek I'm giving you an out, a chance to start your life over.''

"I don't want to start it over... certainly not with Nicole."

''You can with someone else.''

"I don't want to be with somebody else." He ran a hand though his hair.

''You don't want to be with me either. You're just in shock Derek.''

"I'm in a shock that has lasted for 10 years huh?" He asked.

''I meant you were in shock for me asking the divorce.'' She sighed. ''I know you're trying to make it up now just because you are in shock, things won't go back to were they were 10 years ago.''

"Addison, please. Just one more chance..." He begged, not believing her words.

''I don't know...'' She sighed, rubbing her forehead.

"Last night, when I didn't come after you. It was because of the kids." He said before getting up from the floor where he had sank during the conversation. Addison let out a snort, not believing him. "Imagine what could have happened with two of them alone in the house." Derek tried to make her understand.

''You're just making up excuses.''

"I'm not." He shook his head. She just looked at him, not sure of anything anymore.

"I love you Addison, no matter what." He shook his head, starting to back out of the room.

''Walk away...that's what you do best.''

"So now you want me to stay?" He raised his eyebrows.

''Just go.'' She threw her hands up in the air as a sign she had given up completely. Derek sighed. "Do you or do you not want me to stay?"

''Go.''

He sighed, backing out of the room.

As he left she started to sob uncontrollably. It was over and it was all her fault...


	4. More pain, Confuses and not so Mistakes

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 4 – More pain, Confuses and not so Mistakes_

Three weeks had past since their break up and they had been separated since then, Derek had moved back in temporarily with his parents and Addison still lived in the house with the kids. Derek would drop by every day during lunch, much to Addison's dismay. She loved how he still spend much time with their kids, who were of course still utterly confused about the whole situation, but it only hurt her more to see him every day.

The door bell rang, it was Derek. He waited for somebody to come open the door, it was weird for him to ring the door bell of his own house since he still had the key, but it was the right thing to do. Soon the door was opened by Addison. ''Hi.'' Addison wiped her hands on her dress, gosh kids were messy. She took a short breath and moved to the side so he could walk in, not wanting to look at him. "Hey." Derek made a small smile, gosh this was awkward. He walked further into the room. Without saying anything else she walked back into the kitchen, barely able to stand in one room with him. Derek made his way to the living room, smiling widely as he saw his kids. ''Daddy!'' Justin grinned widely, running over to his father. "Daddy!" Hailey yelled and followed Justin. "Hey." Derek smiled at the warm welcome. Justin held out his arms, wanting to be picked up. His father picked him up and hugged him tight. "How's my little boy?"

''I miss you.'' The two year old looked at his father sadly. "I miss you too, both of you very very much." Derek sat down on the floor so that Hailey could climb onto his lap.

''Why don't you come back?'' He pouted. He had to think about it for several seconds before answering. "It's best for mommy and daddy that daddy lives elsewhere."

''Why?''

"It's just best for everybody sweetie." He ran a hand through Justin's curly hair.

''But why?''

"It's complicated."

''Are you mad at momma?''

"No, what makes you think that?" He shook his head.

''Or are you mad at me? Is that why you left?'' He looked up shocked.

"No." He said quickly. "It's not your fault that daddy had to go." He placed a small kiss on his nose.

''Then why did you go?''

"Sweetie, I can't explain it." Derek shook his head, he couldn't possibly tell his son the reason.

''Can't you come back?'' He asked but Derek shook his head. ''What if you come back and mommy leaves?''

Derek let out a small laugh, shaking his head. "It doesn't work that way..."

''Will you ever come back?''

Derek shook his head and gave his son a sad smile. He looked at his father and tears started to well up in his eyes. ''Why don't you want live with us anymore?''

"I do want to." Derek brushed Justin's cheek lightly.

''Then why don't you?'' He started sobbing just as his mother walked into the living room, wearing an apron and carrying plates with sandwiches. ''What's going on?'' She asked concerned but could already guess what was wrong. Derek pulled Justin closer and hugged him tight. "I do want to..." He looked up to Addison, giving her a sad look. Hailey's eyes started welling up.

Addison sighed and put down the plates on the coffee table as she bent down, stroking Justin's hair who just pushed her away angrily. ''Don't touch me!'' He yelled, slapping her arm. "Justin!" Derek yelped, surprised by his actions. Hailey started crying and put her arms around her father. Addison rubbed her arm. Justin had particularly been quite aggressive since Derek moved out and she couldn't blame the little boy. "Sandwiches are on the table.'' She said quietly, getting up and made her way back into the kitchen. "Thank you." Derek said in a sad voice, pulling his crying kids closer to him.

''Stupid momma!'' Justin crossed his arms, putting on an angry face.

"Justin, don't you talk about your mother like that."

''It's her fault!'' He cried out as the doorbell rang.

"It's not sweetie." Derek shook his head, hoping that Addison would open the door.

A few seconds later the door opened and Addison was surprised to see a broadly smiling Theresa standing on the doormat.

"Addison." She greeted happily.

''Hi.'' She answered, confusion visible in her voice. ''I didn't know you were coming, I thought you'd stop by Tuesday, did I mess up the dates again?''

"Nah, it's Monday, I just thought I could drop by..." She smiled. "Can I come in?"

''Yeah of course.'' She stepped aside. ''Derek is here.''

Theresa stepped in, smiling widely. "Oh okay."

''But you're still coming tomorrow right? Because I really wanted to go back to school for at least once a week.''

"Yes yes, of course I'm coming."

''Okay thanks.'' She gave Theresa a thankful smile and walked further into the house.

Theresa gave her a smile back, following Addison. "So I was thinking that I could maybe take the kids for a walk..?" She started.

''Yeah but better wait until Derek leaves again.''

"I kind of have plans for later." Theresa gave her a sad smile.

''Oh well...you should ask Derek then.''

"I'll do that." Theresa smiled widely, stepping into the living room. ''Hey sweethearts.'' She looked at her son who was playing with his children.

"Hey mom." Derek smiled widely at her.

"Nana!" Hailey yelled and ran to her direction.

''Hey sweetheart.'' She bent down on one knee to hug her grand daughter and then looked at her grandson who was still pouting. ''Aaah little one, what's that angry face for?''

"Daddy won't come home." Hailey said with a sad voice.

''Oh.'' Theresa gave her a sad smile. ''How about nana takes you and Jussie to the playground to cheer you up a little?'' She asked. She just wanted Derek and Addison to be alone.

"Yay!" Hailey smiled excitedly.

"That's a good idea, don't you think so Jussie?" Derek asked, looking at his son.

''Okay.'' He nodded and smiled a little, he really did love the playground.

''Well let's get your coats and go.'' Theresa said smiling, getting up again.

''Daddy will you be here when we go back?''

"I don't know sweetie..." Derek smiled.

"He will be." His mother gave him a look before turning back to the children. "Now chop chop, grandma isn't going to live forever."

"Okay I'll be here." Derek shook his head laughing. "Now go both of you, spend some time with your Nana."

''Okay!'' Justin said excitedly, wrapping his arms around his father. ''But don't go!''

"I'll be here when you get back." He hugged his son. "Bye."

''Bye dadda!'' Justin followed his grandmother who walked towards the hallway when Addison quickly entered the living room. ''Take the sandwiches with you.''

"Bye!" Hailey flew her arms around his father and hugged him for several moments before pulling back and running into the hall. Theresa was talking to Addison and rolled her eyes but finally accepted the sandwiches and walked out of the door, leaving them in an awkward silence.

"How you been?" He asked after a while of silence, he wasn't feeling good, not even fine.

''Fine.'' She lied. ''You?''

"I'm good." He lied as well.

''Good.'' She bit her bottom lip. ''Would you like something for lunch?''

"Umm yeah if you don't mind." He gave her a small smile.

''Of course not. What would you like?''

"Anything." He smiled and followed her into the kitchen.

''Okay.'' She took a small breath in, opening the fridge. He smiled and sat on a chair.

''What do you want to drink?''

"Umm, water is fine." He got up and walked towards the sink.

''Okay.'' She closed the fridge while moving to the sink as she didn't notice him, making them bump into each other.

Derek gasped as they touched, not loudly but she could still hear it. She was breathing heavily, looking at his lips. His smile fade and he looked at her lips for moment before their lips crashed together. She kissed him hungrily, pushing his hard body against her own. He wrapped his arms around her hips and kissed her roughly. She moved her hands to the hem of his shirt, pushing it over his head. As soon as the shirt hit the floor he fused their lips together, his hands lifting the bottom of her shirt. Addison pushed him back against the table, not able to control herself anymore as she began to undo his belt. He smiled against her lips, pulling the shirt over her head. She pulled down his pants and unzipped her own skirt, pushing him back against the table as she climbed on top of him. He kissed her passionately, feeling his erection growing. She breathed heavily against his lips, running her fingers over the bulge in his boxers. He let a deep moan escape his lips, moving his lips to her neck, sucking hungrily. She closed her eyes, letting out a moan as she pulled down his boxers. He pulled down her panties, not able to wait any longer.

Addison kicked off her heels, letting him kiss up and down her neck as she slid herself over him. He let out a low moan and took off his shoes. She pushed him back so his back touched the wood, moving her hips so he entered her. "Oh god." He moaned out, letting her adjust. She threw her head back, beginning to move her hips on and off of his. He started move his hips upwards to meet hers in a slow pace. She let out throaty moans, rocking her hips faster. His moans became louder by every move they made, he lifted his hips even higher, going deeper. She let out a loud moan, clenching her muscles around him, she had forgotten how good he could make her feel. Moving his hips with even faster pace he let out a loud moan.

''Derek!'' She moaned out, throwing her hair over her shoulder as she felt herself on the edge. "Oh my god!" He was almost yelling, arching his back slightly as he felt himself nearing the edge. She let out another series of loud moans as they alternated between long and deep thrusts to quick and short strokes, feeling herself going over the edge she moaned out his name loudly. Few thrusts later he joined her, moaning loudly, not able to think of anything at the moment. She collapsed against his chest, breathing heavily. "That was..." He started, catching his breath. "Amazing." She didn't reply, slowly catching her breath as she moved off of him.

He looked at her direction, smiling happily, not understanding what this meant and what they had just done. ''This was a mistake.'' She shook her head, looking around for her underwear. Then it hit him. "Oh god." He started looking for his clothes. She got dressed as quickly as she could. ''I think you should go.'' He nodded in respond when he was fully dressed. ''Gosh...'' She hit her head, realizing they didn't even use protection. "What?" He furrowed his eyebrows together, seeing that something was obviously wrong. ''Nothing it's just...this was stupid and a huge mistake and on top of that, we didn't even do it safe.'' His face fell. "Oh."

''Oh?''

He blinked his eyes. "What does this mean?"

''Nothing. We made a mistake.''

"Yeah." He ran a hand through his hair.

''Let's just pretend it didn't happen okay?''

"Okay." He shrugged, he was confused, the break-up and now the sex...

''Okay.'' She simply said, wanted to cry and breakdown for him acting so casually, not even bothering to say something to her...fight for her...

He closed his eyes for few moments before looking at her again and biting on his lower lip, gosh she looked hot with that messy hair.

''You should just really go now, I'll tell the kids it was important and you had to leave.'' She looked at him and sighed. ''Then I'll see you on Friday when we meet our lawyers.''

"Yeah, Friday..." He looked away from her for a moment, biting harder on his lip.

''I was thinking we could do joined custody over the kids, I'll have them from Monday to Friday and you can have them for the weekend.''

"Oh." Derek said, he was still confused about their situation, he possibly couldn't let her go. He loved her, still, although he wasn't supposed to anymore… No, he possibly couldn't let her go, no. He had to, it's what she wanted. "That's fine and uhm... if you ever need help… I'm here for you."

''Thanks.'' She gave him a small smile. ''Oh and just to let you know, I'm going back to school at least one time a week and a maximum of four times.''

"Okay, I guess every now and then I could take a day off and take the kids, if that's okay with you..?" He suggested, raising his eyebrows. She looked at him a little shock, he always wanted to attend as much classes as he could and he would most definitely not take a day off. ''Okay...''

"Good." He made a weak smile, looking down to the floor.

''Hey Derek?'' She looked at him.

"Yeah?" He raised his head and looked into her eyes.

''I'm glad we can still be civil. Maybe we could like...try being friends?''

"Addie, I don't know if I can... you know, think of you as a friend. You're the love of my life, I just can't think of you as my friend." He shook his head, closing his eyes for a moment before looking back at her again.

She felt her heart clench at his words. ''We have to try...for Jussie and our Bug.''

"Addie, it's not that easy when I'm madly in love with you!" He almost yelled out the last words.

''You're not madly in love with me.'' She whispered, wrapping her arms around herself in a protective manner.

"I am!" He said staring into her eyes. "Why the hell can't you just accept that?"

''Because I won't!'' She yelled and then sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. ''Please don't make this any harder."

"Oh dear god." He shook his head.

''What?''

"You still don't see it, do you? I love you and that thing, it wont change."

''It already has.''

"It didn't." He ran a hand through his hair.

''Yes, you did. You sure as hell aren't the same Derek I married!''

He shook his head. "I'm sorry I didn't see you." His voice was barely over a whisper.

''I told you, it's too late to apologize.''

He shook his head. "It can't be!"

''It is.''

He closed his eyes and shook his head. "No."

''Derek you know it's over, accept it.'' She sighed. ''All I want to do now is talk to you about the kids, the house and the rest of our stuff so we won't have to fight over it in front of the lawyers.''

He shook his head but sat down on a chair. "What do we do about the house?" He hated to do this.

''You can have it. All I want are the kids.''

''You don't have the time for them.''

"You're in med school as well." He ran a hand through his hair.

''Barely.''

Derek raised his eyebrows at the comment. "What?"

''I haven't been there for more than 4 classes over the whole month.''

"Okay fine." He shook his head, he just wanted this to be over.

''Fine?'' She rose her eyebrow.

"You want the kids 5 days a week?" He sighed, ignoring her expression.

''Yes.''

"And I get them for the weekends?"

''Yes.''

"What about the house? You and kids need a place to live but so do I."

''You can take the house, we'll look for another place.''

"This house is huge Addison, I would be here all alone. It would be better if you stayed here and I look for place."

''No.'' She shook her head. ''I need a fresh, clean start.''

Derek's face fell, that had really hurt. A clean start. She was already thinking about moving on?

''So I think it's better you stay here.'' She tried to ignore the broken look on his face.

"Okay." He said quietly, his voice barely over a whisper.

''As for the car, it's yours.''

"Well yeah, I bought it but still, don't you need it?"

''Derek you clearly forgot about my last name.'' She hated bragging about her money but it was true. Derek rolled his yes. "Right."

She bit her lip and looked at him. Even now they were making it final he didn't see the reason to fight for her. He got up from the chair and sighed. "So are we done with this?"

''Yeah I guess.'' She felt her heart break.

"Okay." He looked into her eyes, trying to control his feelings, it was best for them. She looked down at her hands. Derek started walking out of the room, as he walked past Addison they touched. It sent shivers through his spine, it was wrong and he knew it but he couldn't help it. She bit down on her lip hard, keeping the tears from leaving her eyes. His hand grabbed hers and he spun her around, kissing her. She felt her knees weaken and kissed him back but then suddenly pulled back, tears pouring down her cheeks as she shook her head at him.

"We shouldn't." He shook his head as well, feeling his eyes welling up.

''It's over.'' She sobbed. ''You should go.''

"Yeah." He said quietly, letting go of her hand. She felt his hand slipping out of hers. It really was over. He turned around, he had tried. He had tried many times, it was over. There was nothing he could do anymore. She wrapped her arms around herself, not able to control her sobs anymore. Derek looked at her over his shoulder, feeling his heart breaking from the sight. He bit on his bottom lip, exiting the room. Derek looked at her over his shoulder, feeling his heart breaking because of the sight. He bit on his bottom lip, exiting the room. After a few seconds Addison heard the front door shut. She felt her knees getting week and she slid to the floor, crying unstoppably.

An hour later the door bell was rang by Theresa and the kids. Addison got up from the floor, holding onto the table as she tried to wipe away her tears and smoothed out her dress, still looking like a train wreck as she opened the door. Theresa looked at her with her eyes wide open. This is not how she had planned this to go. She wiped her nose and bent down so she was on the same level as the twins. ''Hey you two had fun with grams?''

"YES!" Hailey smiled widely, giving her mother a tight hug.

''That's good.'' She forced a smile on her face, hugging her daughter back.

''Momma did you cry?'' Justin asked unsure.

''No of course not.'' Addison lied.

"Let's go inside, you need to wash your hands." Theresa tried to change the subject, hoping that Addison would tell her what happened.

She gave Justin a quick hug and picked him up as she held Hailey's hand. Theresa made a quick smile and they stepped into the house. She walked into the kitchen, washing their hands. Theresa sat on a chair, waiting for them to finish. She dried their hands as they almost immediately ran back into the living room to play.

"Sit down." Theresa ordered and pointed to the chair opposite to her. Addison sighed and sat down. She already knew what was coming.

"What happened Addison?" She asked, looking worried.

''What are you talking about?'' Addison decided to play dumb.

"About you and your red and puffy eyes."

''There's nothing to talk about.''

"Addison." She raised her voice. "What happened between you two?"

''Nothing...we just talked about the divorce.''

"Really?" Theresa raised her eyebrows, she didn't believe her.

''Yes really...''

"Then why do I have this feeling that you're lying?"

''I don't know.'' She shrugged. Should she tell her mother-in-law what really happened or not?

"Addison, I've known you since you were 15. I know when you're lying."

''Fine. Then maybe something _did_ happen.''

"Go on." She ordered.

''I'm not gonna tell.'' She shook her head.

Theresa raised her eyebrows. "Addison, you know you can tell me anything."

''It's stupid and embarrassing.''

"I bet it's not."

''It is and it was a big mistake.''

Theresa soon understood what this 'mistake' meant. "You had sex."

''Yeah.'' She looked down at her hands.

"...And?"

''And it was unsafe...''

Theresa's eyes widened. "What?" She asked in unbelief.

''I wasn't thinking...'' She shrugged, only feeling guiltier by the second.

"Addison..." She shook her head, this is not how she planned this would go.

''Yes?''

"What are you going to do?"

''Nothing. The divorce is still going to happen, we both agreed this was a mistake.''

"Did he say so?" Theresa knew his son and that's not what he was like.

''Mom, it's over between the two of us, please accept that.''

"Okay." She raised her hands as a sign she gave up.

''Thank you.''

"Welcome."


	5. Surprises, Tears and new Beginnings

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 5 – Surprises, Tears and New beginnings_

A few weeks later Addison was nervously fumbling with her fingers in the waiting room. Theresa had persuaded her into seeing a doctor after days of vomiting.

"It's going to be okay." Theresa tried to calm her down, grabbing her hand and giving it a light squeeze.

''Yeah.'' She took a deep breath, giving her mother-in-law a small smile.

"Yah." Theresa made a small smile as well, turning to look at her magazine.

''I can't be pregnant. I can't be pregnant.'' Addison repeated whispering.

"It's going to be just fine, trust me."

''Yeah.'' Addison nodded, looking up when a doctor called her name.

"Here we go" Theresa said and got up after Addison. "Want me to come with you?"

''If you don't mind...''

"Of course not." Theresa gave her another smile.

''Thanks.'' Addison started walking towards the doctor's room.

After a few minutes the doctor walked into the room and smiled at them. "Hi, I'm Dr. Alistar."

''Addison Montgomery.'' She shook her hand.

"Very nice meeting you."

"I'm her mother-in-law Theresa Shepherd." Theresa shook her hand as well.

"Hi, pleasure to meet you." She smiled "So, why exactly are you here?" She looked at Addison after she couldn't find anything in the chart.

''Erhm...I think I could be uhm...pregnant.''

"You think you could be? Did you take any tests already?"

''No.''

"Okay, then we'll do that now."

''Okay.'' Addison nodded. She hadn't taken a home pregnancy test because the last time she did it said it was negative while it later turned out to be clearly positive.

"Come with me then."

She followed the doctor, leaving Theresa in the room. The doctor led her to this room nearby, stepping in and turning on the lights. Addison looked around the room, still fumbling with her hands. "So you're here with your mother-in-law?" The doctor was curious.

''Yeah.''

"Your husband doesn't know yet?"

''Well erhm...we're kind of in the middle of a divorce.''

"Oh." The doctor managed to say. "Well anyway, I'm going to draw some blood now."

''Okay.''

"Your chart said that you already have twins, is that right?" She nodded towards a chair.

''Yeah.'' Addison smiled a little and sat down.

"Boy and a girl?" The doctor smiled, raising her eyebrows.

''Yeah Justin and Hailey.''

"Aren't those pretty names." The doctor smiled and sat down on a seat next to hers.

''Thanks.'' Addison held out her arm.

"Welcome. My son is called Andrew, I always liked that name." She took her arm and started.

''That's a nice name. How old is he?''

"He's five." The doctor smiled.

''Aww.'' Addison smiled back at her.

"Well it's not aww when he jumps on you after a 12 hour shift." The doctor laughed, drawing some blood.

''Yeah kids sure can be a hand full.''

"Oh yeah." Giselle gave her a smile.

''How soon will the results be back?''

"We'll get them soon." She gave her a smile and put a band-aid on the place she just drew blood from.

''Okay, thanks.''

"My pleasure."

Addison returned to the waiting room a few minutes later as the doctor had told her to just wait here until she got the results back.

"When do we get the results?" Theresa looked up to her.

''Soon.''

"Good, good" Theresa mumbled.

''Yeah...'' Addison sat down with a sigh.

"It's going to be okay..." Theresa sighed.

''It will be if I'm not pregnant.''

"Yeah." She made a sad smile.

''And if I am...'' She sighed. ''I'm screwed.''

"Addison it's going to be just fine."

''I sure as hell hope you're right.''

"Even if you're pregnant, I'm here for you."

''Thanks mom.''

"Now give me a hug." She smiled.

Addison rolled her eyes, hugging Theresa. Theresa chuckled, hugging her daughter-in-law.

''Now release me woman.''

"What if I don't?" She laughed, pulling back a little.

''You don't wanna know.''

"That bad?" Theresa laughed, letting her go.

''Mhm.'' Addison chuckled.

"Well just for your information, I wrestled when I was younger so bring it on!" She joked.

''Hey I got bullied, I sure as hell have my ways.''

Theresa laughed. "Okay maybe I'll just shut up now."

''You better.'' She laughed, Theresa always had her ways to cheer her up.

Theresa smiled. "But I could kick your ass young lady."

''I wouldn't try if I were you.''

"Oh so you think I couldn't beat you?" She faked hurt.

''Mhm.''

"Ouch, that hurt." Her jaw dropped.

''Whatever.''

"Oh shush." Theresa laughed, soon the doctor entered the room. Addison took a deep breath, looking up at the doctor.

"You ready?" The doctor raised an eyebrow.

''Yeah.'' She nodded.

"The results came back positive..."

''Oh crap...'' Was all she was able to say.

"Oh dear God..." Theresa's jaw dropped.

''My god.'' Addison buried her head in her hands.

The doctor sat on a chair next to them. Theresa grabbed Addison's hand and gave it a squeeze. She sighed again, not willing to let her tears fall. "It's going to be fine..."

''No it's not.''

"It will." Theresa wrapped and arm around her.

''I'm pregnant.'' Her tears started to fall. ''I'm pregnant with Derek's baby, I'm pregnant...''

"Sweetie..." She kissed the top of her head, trying to comfort her. Addison just shook her head. ''Let's just please go home.''

"Okay." Theresa nodded.

Addison got up and took a shaky breath.

"We should drop the kids somewhere, you're in no shape to take care of them now." Theresa said as she stood up.

''I'm fine.''

"Addison" She shook her head.

''Really I can take care of my own kids, thank you.''

"Okay." She held up her hands, giving the doctor a nod as a goodbye.

After half an hour Addison parked in the Shepherd's driveway. Theresa stepped out of the car and started walking towards the front door. Addison shut the engine off and locked the door, following her. At the doorsteps, Theresa was waiting for her, holding the door open. Addison avoided her look, walking into the house. Theresa sighed before yelling cheerfully. "I'm home."

''Grandma!'' Justin yelled to his sister inside the living room. Theresa let out a little laugh and shrugged off her coat.

''Grandma!'' He yelled again, waiting for her to come.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." She mumbled and walked into the living room.

"Nanna!" Hailey smiled widely, running towards her.

''Grandma!'' Justin got up.

"Hey sweeties." Theresa smiled and walked towards the kids. Addison sighed and tiredly walked into the room. Theresa picked up Justin who was running towards her. "How's my little boy?"

''I played with daddy!'' He grinned widely.

"Oooh, did you have fun?" Theresa smiled and soon her leg was attacked by Hailey.

''Yes!''

"Good, good." She smiled and looked down at Hailey. "What about you princess?"

"I played with grandpa!"

"Sounds good." Theresa smiled, she was glad that Gabriel was getting to know the kids.

''Nana do you think I can live here too with daddy?'' Justin asked.

"Sweetie, I don't think so." She shook her head.

''Why not?''

"It's better if you live with momma..." Theresa tried to make him understand.

''I don't want to!'' He pouted. ''Momma is stupid.''

"You stop that right now young man." Theresa gave her a serious look. He pouted angrily.

"Wont work on me." Theresa said, putting him back on the floor.

''You're stupid too!'' He ran over to his father. Theresa shook her head and went to the couch with Hailey.

''Kids will you get your coats? We're going home.'' Addison announced tiredly.

"Already?" Derek asked as he entered the living room, carrying Justin.

''Yeah I'm tired and I still have to make dinner.''

"Oh, okay." Derek made a small smile, putting Justin down.

''I wanna stay.'' Justin clinched onto Derek. Derek sighed. "You need to go Jussie..." He tried.

''NO!''

"Yes sweetie." Derek gave him a serious look.

''I wanna stay!'' He started to cry.

"Sweetie, we're going to see each other tomorrow, I promise." He placed a kiss on his forehead.

''Nooooooooooo.'' Tears rolled down his flushed cheeks.

"Sweetie, I promise." Derek picked him up, he hated to see him suffer. His little hands tightly gripped onto Derek's shirt. He placed kisses on his hair, trying to calm him down. "It's gonna be okay, we'll see tomorrow..."

''No!''

"Jussie..."

''I wanna stay!''

Derek shook his head. "Sweetie, you can't stay today..."

''Why not?''

"Daddy has to read for his exam..." He lied quickly.

''But I'm quiet...''

He let out a little laugh. "I know you are but still, daddy needs to read. There would be no time to play."

''Can I sleep here tomorrow?''

"We need to ask that from mommy." Derek made a smile.

''No.'' Justin shook his head.

"What do you mean by that?"

''Momma stupid.''

"Justin! That is not how you talk about your mother. She's a very smart woman!" Derek automatically defended her, not realising that she would hear this.

''I hate her! It's momma's fault!''

"Justin, that is not true."

''Is true!''

Derek shook his head. "Is not."

He stuck out his tongue, pulling away from him. He shook his head, placing him on the floor. "Justin, if I hear you talking about your mother like that even once I swear to god, that you can't come over for a week."

''I hate you too!''

Derek's heart skipped a beat and he just turned around. "I'll go to the bathroom."

Addison sighed again, she already hated it when Justin did such things to her but him acting towards Derek like this made it even worse but she couldn't really blame him, she hated herself too.

A few hours later Justin had calmed down and was sweetly playing with the play-doo in his Winnie the Pooh play corner in the living room while Addison and Hailey were playing on the ground with some stuffed animals.

"Momma, why did daddy go?" Hailey asked innocently as she placed her teddy bear on top of another.

''Because mommy and daddy are going to separate sweetie.''

"But why?" She tilted her head innocently.

''Because we don't want to be together anymore...''

"Oh, why?" Hailey looked at her mother, she didn't understand.

''Sometimes that just happens to married people honey.''

"But grandma and grandpa aren't separating..."

''Yeah but that's different.'' She stroke Hailey's hair.

"How?" Hailey furrowed her eyebrows together.

''Because grandma and grandpa are still in love.''

"You don't love daddy?" Hailey asked as tears started filling her eyes.

''I do love daddy and I always will but it's not that simple Bug.''

"But you love daddy! How can you not be with him?"

''I told you, it's not that easy.''

"Why not?" The little girl almost yelled.

''Bug, shh calm down.''

"But-" The tears started falling. "I want mommy and daddy to be together."

''I know you do sweetie, I know you do.'' She cuddled the little girl against her.

Hailey wrapped her arms around her mother, tears pouring down her face. "Then why aren't you together?"

''Because we can't. It's complicated.''

"But you love each other..." She didn't understand, this didn't happen in the fairytales, there was always a happily-ever-after.

''But not like we used to. We weren't happy anymore.''

Hailey didn't reply, she just hugged her tight.

''It will be okay Bug.'' She hugged her back. ''And mommy has a little surprise.''

"What is it?" Hailey looked up to her, wiping away her tears. She loved surprises.

''You and Jussie are going to have a little brother or sister.''

"Really?" Her eyes widened.

"Really.'' Addison smiled.

Hailey looked down, thinking it for few seconds before nodding and smiling widely at her.

''You think that's a nice surprise?''

"YES!" Hailey smiled excitedly.

''Hmm good.'' She smiled widely at her daughter.

"When is the baby coming?" Hailey smiled, not able to wait.

''In a few months."

"Months?" She pouted.

''Yes.''

"But that's so long..."

''I know sweetie but the baby needs to grow.''

"Oh..." Hailey nodded, her finger going into her mouth.

''Yeah.'' Addison smiled.

"Where is the baby?"

''In my belly.''

"In your belly?" Hailey looked surprised.

''Yes.'' She laughed. ''You and Jussie were too.''

"But how?" She didn't understand.

''It's there to grow now.''

"Oh, but how will it... come out?"

''Uhm...'' Addison was not sure what to say and that was definitely a little too much information for a two year old. ''I'll tell you when you're a little bit older to understand.''

"Oh, okay." Hailey looked down to the stuffed toys, taking a bunny and giving it to her mother.

''Hmm?'' She took the bunny and looked at her daughter.

"You can play with Hilda!" She grinned.

''Thanks honey.''

Hailey giggled, taking a teddy bear from the floor.

They played with the stuffed animals for a little while until Justin yelled from the play corner with a guilty face. ''Momma the play-doo threw itself against the wall!''

Hailey looked at Justin. "Momma! Jussie broke my play-doo!"

Addison sighed and got up. ''Justin what did you do?''

"It wasn't me!" He instantly defended.

''Then who was it?'' She put her hand on her hip.

"It just went crazy and threw itself against the wall!" He said after a while of thinking. She had to bite the inside of her cheek to not laugh, at least he was creative. ''You really assume I believe that?''

"But it's the truth!" He insisted.

''What did I say to you about lying?''

"But it was an accident..." He looked down.

''Play-doo doesn't get on the wall by itself.'' She stared at the clay covered wall, her eyes widening when she looked up higher. ''Or the ceiling for that matter...''

"But it really did go crazy..."

''No I think you did.''

"But... it wasn't me!"

''Then I'll ask you again, who was it?''

"It wasn't me..." He pouted his lips.

''Justin admit you did it and we'll clean it together or you're going to get a time-out.''

"But it was an accident!" Justin yelled.

''Oh and how was it an accident?''

"I don't like you!" He screamed, getting up.

''I don't care if you don't like me, I don't want you lying at me.''

Justin looked down to his feet. "Sorry mommy..."

She bent down to his level, tilting up his chin. ''Why did you lie?''

"I knew you would be mad…" He bit on his lip.

''I wouldn't have been mad if you just told me the true. Do I ever get mad?''

"Umm... no..." He looked down.

''Then why would I get mad now?''

"I don't know..." He said quietly.

''Hey come here.'' She wrapped her arms around him. ''How about we clean it together?''

"Okay…" He made a small smile, allowing her to pull him close.

''I won't get mad at you, I love you.'' She said softly, cuddling him against her.

Justin smiled and hugged her back. "Okay."

She smiled and pulled back a little, dropping a small kiss on his forehead. Justin blinked his eyes at his mother.

''What?'' She laughed.

"Nothing." He gave her a wide smile.

''Okay.'' She smiled back at him. ''Can I get a kiss?''

Justin giggled, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. "There."

''That wasn't a kiss.'' She rolled her eyes playfully. Justin giggled, giving her even quicker kiss on the lips. She laughed, pulling her to him as both of them fell on the floor. ''That wasn't one either!'' She tickled him.

"Stop it!" He laughed, trying to get away from her.

''Not until I get a kiss!''

"Okay! Okay!" Justin laughed loudly. She smiled at him, playfully pouting her lips together. Justin quickly pecked her lips and then giggled.

''Thank you.'' She laughed and rolled her eyes.

"Welcome." He grinned.

''We're going to clean now.''

"Do we have tooo?"

''Yes we do, play-doo is not a nice colour on the walls.''

"But it's a pretty colour..."

''Uh...right.''

Justin pouted his lips.

''Not working on me.''

"Fine." He pouted his lips once more before pulling back from the hug.

Addison smiled at him and then looked at Hailey who was singing to her stuffed animals. ''Hey Hails wanna help cleaning?''

"Nope." Hailey smiled, flashing her mother a wide smile.

''And why not?''

"It wasn't me."

''So? We can all help each other.''

"But I'm keeping company to Hilda." She pointed at the bunny.

''Hilda can help too.''

Hailey sighed rather loudly, getting up and walking to Addison and Justin. ''Thanks honey.'' Addison laughed and kissed her little girl. Hailey smiled and gave her mother a kiss. "You're welcome."

The following day Addison and Derek were both at a class in the auditorium. Derek was sitting few seats from her. He kept making notes as the professor told them about brains. Addison took another deep breath. She knew he was sitting just a few rows behind her and she couldn't help but feel his presence. He laid his eyes on her red hair, it stood out from the crowd. He bit on his lip and tried hard to concentrate. She could feel his eyes burning in her back, making her nervous. She had to tell him at one point, it was his baby too but she wanted to start her life over. Well she didn't but it was necessary, she couldn't carry on if she would keep on dwelling about the past.

He sighed rather loudly, he was the love of her life. He couldn't even think about moving on, it wasn't possible, they were meant to be. That's what he thought, until his whole world turned upside-down with a single kiss. He didn't love that girl and never would, that was for sure. She turned her head to the side, quickly looking at him before immediately turning back again. It was only a quick peek but she saw him looking at her. He quickly looked down to his notes, he knew she saw him looking. He bit on his lip before looking back to the professor.

She let out a loud sigh. So she was going to tell him, she got that far. But how? Why weren't there any freakin rules, standards made up for this? A certain amount of time set when you tell your soon-to-be ex-husband you're pregnant with his baby. Was she supposed to tell now, straight away, be honest and just get it over with or wait, think it over, wait until she was sure and the divorce was finalised?

Few minutes later he found himself staring at her once again. He shook his head, I need to stop this, I can't keep staring a her. She's not even going to be my wife in few weeks, it's not right for me to stare, make things complicated once again. Maybe I should go to him after class, invite him home, then tell him? Or maybe that's too soon. Or he'd freak out...who says he even wants this baby? No wait this is Derek I'm talking about he would never not want this baby, but then again, he would never not love or divorce me either...or so I used to believe for a long time.

He looked at her figure, she really had lost weight for him, how could I not notice? Gosh I am an idiot, I ignored her even though she did her best to be noticed... How could I not notice that? I was busy with school but that's no excuse for it. She kept doubting between several options until the bell rang and everyone got up. She felt her heart pound in her chest, her breathing getting unsteadily. Now she had to decide, quick. Derek picked up his stuff and got up from the chair, taking is time, he had nowhere to hurry to.

This was the time to act mature she decided. She took a deep breath, gathering her books as she walked towards him with long steps. He saw her walking towards him, he pulled on a small smile. "Addison." He tried to act normally. ''Hi.'' She said nervously, playing with the cover of her book. ''I just uhm- there's something I should talk to you about so- so I was wondering if you could stop by...soon.'' She rambled. ''I mean not now of course because we're at school and probably neither after school because you're busy just...uhm…you know, sometime when you have time...''

"I could drop by later today, I don't have any plans at all." He smiled at her rambling.

''Okay...yeah okay.'' She nodded. ''That be nice.'' She couldn't help but blush a little as she smiled back at him. "Yeah." Derek flashed her a smile, the smile that used to get her weak in the knees.

''Yeah so uh...I'll see you later.''

"Okay, see ya." Derek turned around and started walking out of the auditorium. She didn't move, watching him walk away. He had changed so much.

Few hours later, Derek rang the doorbell of Addison's house. He patiently waited for somebody to come and open the door for him. A second later Addison opened the door, giving him a small, nervous smile. ''Hi.''

"Hey." He gave her the same nervous smile, stepping into the house. She stepped aside and took a deep breath, leading them towards the kitchen where they both sat down opposite from each other. "So what is it that you wanna talk about?" He asked after a while. ''Uhm...'' She looked down at her hands which were trembling. ''I can waste much words on this but I won't so I'll cut right to the chase...'' She felt her whole body shake with nervousness. ''I'm pregnant.''

He stared at her for several seconds. "What?" He managed to gasp out. ''I'm pregnant.'' She repeated quietly, anxious for his reaction. "But how? Who? What? When?" His jaw dropped, he had million questions to ask. She sucked in her bottom lip, trying to not let her tears fall.

"You're pregnant..." He shook his head and a small smile appeared on his face.

''Yeah...'' She said quietly, not sure what to think or to do.

"..with my baby." His smile just got wider. Addison nodded. Was he smiling?

"Oh my god." He couldn't stop smiling even for a second.

''What do you think?'' She asked carefully.

"This is... wow." He looked at her, smiling widely.

''Wow?'' She felt a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

"Yeah, wow." He nodded, looking at her. She smiled at him for a few moments until it faded again. ''We're going to get divorced...''

His face dropped. "Oh, yeah..."

She just looked at him.

He bit on his lip. "What are we going to do?" He was hoping that this would change things.

''I- I don't know.'' She really didn't. ''I'm going to keep the baby though, no matter what.''

"I know, I'm not asking you to do anything like that." He shook his head.

''I know...I just wanted to let you know.''

"Yeah, honestly I was hoping that this would give us another chance." He confessed, something made him say that. He instantly regretted telling that.

''Derek...'' She sighed but felt her heart skip a beat nonetheless.

"I know, I shouldn't have told you that. It just makes things more complicated but at the same time I can't just not say it." He started rambling.

''Why can't you not say it?''

"I don't know. I just want it so badly, a new start with you." He looked down.

''Derek, you don't mean this.''

"I do." He nodded. "Ever since I've been gone, you're the only thing I could think of."

She rested her face in her hands, shaking her head. She didn't want to hear this, she couldn't.

"I get it, you don't want it..." He sighed and shook his head.

''No that's not it, that's not it at all.''

"Then what is it?"

''I can't take any more of this.''

"Of what?" He looked up to her.

''Of this, of you. I can't take anymore of your ignorance, your indifferent. I can't take loosing any more weight. I can't be in this marriage alone, I can't take anymore of trying to keep our family together.''

"Addie, I don't know what happened to me, I got busy with med school, I was tired. I never thought that you needed to lose weight, you always looked good to me, you always will. " He smiled a little. She bit the inside of her cheek. She was not going to cry, she was not going to break down.

"Addie, I'm sorry for the stuff I did or didn't do." He looked down to the table.

''It's too late.''

"Addison please, give me a chance."

''I don't want to go back.''

He bit down on his lip hard, this isn't what he wanted to hear.

''I just can't Derek, I can't and I don't want to either.''

He felt tears filling his eyes and he shook his head, these tears wouldn't drop.

''I'm sorry.'' She said quietly. ''But you have to understand.''

"I know it's all my fault. I should have done so much stuff differently." He shook his head again, he should have noticed, cared.

''Me too...''

"Addison please, just one more chance." He looked at her.

''Why? Why now? Why should I give you another chance?''

"Because I love you Addison." He looked into her eyes.

''No, you love the idea of me. Someone who takes care of your children, cleans your house, cooks your food and visits your family every now and then.''

"That's not it." He shook his head. "It's different, I get this feeling when you're around, it's a nice and warm feeling. I'm comfortable when I'm around you. The room lightens up when you step in. Oh god that sounded so cliché..." He shook his head.

''And such a lie.''

"No it's not a lie. How could I lie about something like that?"

''Because Derek, that's all in your mind! For months you simply ignored me! I didn't even exist for you as a wife I existed for someone who takes care of all your stuff!''

"And I'm sorry about all that!" He raised his voice to the same level as hers.

''How does sorry help? It doesn't change anything!''

"No apparently it doesn't change anything!"

''I'm 23 Derek, I don't want to waste anymore time!''

"So I was a waste of time?" He got up angrily.

''I didn't mean it like that.'' She sighed, rubbing her forehead.

"Oh I'm sure you didn't!" He shook his head. "How the hell did we end up like this?"

''Don't ask me.''

"I never thought this was going to happen to us."

''Me either...''

"I always thought that this would last..."

''Me too.'' She said quietly. ''We used to be so in love...''

"Yeah, we used to be teased about not being able to keep our hands off each other."

''Yeah.'' She chuckled a little.

He smiled. "And Mark wouldn't shut up about it."

''Yeah.'' She leaned her head on her hand. ''Neither would your parents.''

"Yeah, remember when my dad caught us?" He laughed.

''Oh my god, yes.'' She already blushed at the memory. Derek laughed. "It was bad."

''It was.'' She nodded in agreement.

"We were never good at locking doors."

''We really weren't.''

He smiled widely. "Yeah."

''That seems like a lifetime ago...''

"Yeah... Where did we loose the spark?"

''I don't know...we were so young.''

"Yeah, young and in love..."

''We were just sixteen...''

"Hmhmm." He smiled.

''We didn't even know what love meant...''

He looked down to the table. "Yeah..."

''Do you think we got married too young?''

"Maybe but I don't regret it. It felt right at the moment."

''Yeah it did.'' She paused. ''Do you really think we could make it if we gave it a second shot? Even after everything that happened?''

"Yeah, I think so. We'd both, especially me, work harder. Make time for each other but yes, we could make it work." His face lit up.

''Maybe we could like...try for a month and then decide what we do?''

"Yeah, see how it goes..." He looked into her eyes.

''Mhm.'' She stared back into his.

He smiled. "I'm glad we're doing this."

''Me too...'' She gave him a small smile back. ''Derek?''

"Yeah?" He asked.

''I love you...''

"I love you too Addison."

She smiled at him. ''I missed hearing that.''

"Me too." He smiled, afraid to lean forward to peck her lips. He wanted to but he was afraid that it was too fast. She looked at him, grabbing his hands which were on the table. ''Will you move back in?''

"You want me to?" He smiled at the touch.

''Yeah I do.''

"Okay, then I'll do so. What do we tell the kids?"

''That daddy will be back for a little while.''

"Sounds good." He gave her hand a quick kiss.

''Good.'' Addison smiled.

"Yeah, he put their hands back on the table. She leaned over the table, giving his lips a quick peck. He smiled against her lips. "I missed that." He pecked her back quickly. ''Yeah me too.'' She rested her lips against his. He smiled against her lips, kissing her softly. She closed her eyes, slowly kissing him back. He let his eyes close, carrying on kissing her. She felt sparks shoot through her body, sparks she hadn't felt in a long time. He smiled into their kiss again, this felt so right.

After a few seconds she softly pulled back. "I love you Addie." He pecked her lips again. ''I love you too Derek.'' She whispered against his lips. "Great." He pressed another kiss on her lips, not getting enough. Addison smiled against his lips, everything just felt better having him here. "Hmm." He smiled as well.

''Wanna get the kids and your stuff at mom's?''

"Sure." He pulled back a little. "I'd love to."

''Good.'' Addison smiled, getting up. He got up as well, smiling widely at her direction.

''Give me a hug please.''

"Aww." He smiled, pulling her in for a hug, his arms around her body. She wrapped her arms around his wait, snuggling her head against his chest as she took in his scent. She had dreamed of doing this for weeks now. He rested his head on hers, hugging her tighter, he had missed this, everything about her. "You have new shampoo..." He mumbled against her hair. ''I used the kid's shampoo.'' She held him close. He laughed softly. "It smells nice."

''Thanks.'' She laughed. ''I had no time for grocery shopping.''

"Hmm, that's gonna change." He gave the top of her head a quick kiss.

''I hope so. Maybe we could take the kids to town. I think they deserve to pick out a new toy.''

"Yeah, that's a good idea. We should do so, how about we do it today?"

''Yeah.'' She nodded her head against him.

"Okay." He smiled, pulling back a little. "You ready to go?"

''Yeah.'' She pulled back too.

"Okay." He left an arm around her waist.

A few minutes later they pulled up into the Shepherd's driveway, leaving Addison strangely nervous. "It's going to be okay." Derek took her hand in his, giving it a light squeeze. ''I know.'' She nodded, taking a deep breath. He smiled, placing a soft kiss on her cheek. She turned her head, softly pecking his lips. He gently pecked her lips back. "We should go..." Addison nodded, opening her car door. He stepped out of the car, taking few steps and breathing fresh air. She closed the door and walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his waist from the side. He chuckled, wrapping his arm around her waist as well. ''I love you.'' She mumbled.

He kissed her softly, not knowing that at the very same moment Theresa Shepherd was cooking in the kitchen. She turned to look out of the window, see who just pulled in their drive-way. "Dear heavenly lord." Left her lips she saw the two of them kissing. ''What?'' Gabriel looked up from the book he was reading to the children. "Come here." She whispered, motioning him towards the window. He laid the book down on the coffee table next to the overstuffed chair, putting down Hailey who was sitting in his lap. ''What is it?'' He walked towards his wife.

"Look." She said smiling, pointing towards the young couple whose kiss was turning into more passionate one. His jaw dropped. ''What the hell?''

"Gabby, not in front of the kids." She whispered, looking out again.

''Did you know about this?'' He whispered.

"No." She shook her head. "You clearly didn't."

''Well of course not.''

"This is just... surprising." She said, not able to feel anything else but happiness.

''Yeah it is.'' He nodded in agreement, watching the couple nearing the house.

"What do you think about this?" She asked, turning to look at his husband.

''I don't know. You?''

"I think that it's good, if they make it work. They're meant to be." Theresa shrugged.

''You think they'll make it?''

"Yeah, at least I hope so." She smiled and soon they heard the front door opening.

''Me too.'' Gabriel nodded and smiled as they heard the kids happily running towards their parents.

"They will." Theresa smiled and placed a quick kiss on his lips before walking into the hall.

''Hey mom.'' Addison smiled happily.

"Well hello you two." Theresa smiled at them, receiving a kiss from Derek.

"Hey."

Addison smiled at them, cuddling closer to Derek.

"Okay what is this?" Theresa asked, motioning between the couple.

''What's what?'' She smiled at her mother-in-law.

"Ooh so you made up?" She smiled widely as Derek nodded.

''Yeah.'' Addison stroked Hailey's hair.

"Yay!" Escaped Theresa's lips, making Derek laugh as he picked up Justin with his free hand.

Gabriel walked into the room and smiled. ''Well, well. What do we have here?''

"They made up!" Theresa said excitedly when she turned to look at her husband, she tried hard not to jump up and down.

''That's good.'' Gabriel chuckled.

"YES!" She smiled and turned to look back at the couple.

"Why wont you talk and I'll go pack okay?" Derek raised his eyebrows.

''Just one thing.'' Gabriel stopped him. ''Why this sudden change?''

"Oh right." Derek looked at Addison direction. "You want to tell them?"

''I'm surprised mom didn't already.'' Addison chuckled.

"Oh shush, I don't gossip!" Theresa said slightly offended.

"She knows?" Derek raised his eyebrows.

''She went with me...''

''Who went where?'' Gabriel was lost.

"Ohh." Derek nodded, turning to look at his father. "Addison's pregnant."

''What?'' He looked at his son in shock.

"Addison is pregnant." Derek smiled at his father.

His eyes widened, looking at Addison. ''Wow...''

"Tell me about it." Derek chuckled, pulling Addison a little closer to him.

''This wasn't planned I assume?''

"Yeah, wasn't planned at all." He answered and Theresa gave Addison a knowing look. Addison quickly looked into another direction.

''Is mommy having a baby?'' Justin asked confused.

"Yes, mommy is having a baby and daddy is coming back home." Derek answered, knowing that it was a lot to process for a little kid.

''Are you going to live with us?'' He asked excited.

"Yeah." Derek smiled at his excitement.

''Yay!''

He let out a laugh, placing a kiss on his forehead.

''Baby coming now?''

"Nooo! In few months!" Hailey rolled her eyes.

''Nuhuh!'' Justin shook his head. ''Today.''

"Momma! Tell him!" Hailey pouted, she knew she was right.

''It will take a few months sweetie.''

Hailey grinned proudly. "See?"

Justin stuck out his tongue.

"Jussie, stop that." Derek tried not to laugh.

''Why won't baby come now?''

"The baby needs to grow first." He smiled, placing Justin on the floor.

''Why?''

"Because right now it's really small..." Derek tried to explain.

''Why?'' He asked again.

"Sweetie, you'll get it when you're older." He stroke his hair softly.

''I'm already two.''

"Yes you are, but still you're not old enough." Derek started getting little annoyed, but didn't let it show.

''Fine.'' Justin sighed and crossed his arms in front of his small chest.

"Good." He let out a laugh as he looked at his son. "I should start packing..."

''You do.'' Gabriel nodded. Theresa just smiled at the two of them, hugging Addison as Gabriel pulled back. "Yeah, Congrats."

''Thanks mom.''

"Hmm, my pleasure." Theresa pulled back slightly.

''I'm going to see if Derek needs some help.'' Addison smiled kissing the top of her daughter's head.

"Okay." Theresa smiled, turning to look at her husband, taking Justin's had. "Let's go to the living room."

Addison walked up the stairs. As she entered his room she saw him getting clothes out of the closet. She silently walked over to him, wrapping her arms around him from behind. ''Boo.'' He jumped a little, turning to look at her. "Shit, you scared me Addie!"

''Sorry.'' She smiled sheepishly. He let out a laugh. "Hmm, it's okay." He quickly pecked her lips. Addison smiled at him, keeping her arms around him. ''I came to ask if you need help.''

"I could use a little help." He smiled and turned around so that they were facing each other, wrapping his arms around her waist.

''Hmm how?'' She stared into his eyes.

"Hmm, what did you have in mind?" He kissed her softly.

''I don't know.'' She pecked his lips few times. ''That's why I asked.''

"I have something in my mind." He kissed her again, pulling her closer to him.

''Hmm which is?'' She mumbled against his lips.

"Hmm, I think you can figure it out." He slid his tongue into her mouth. She moaned into the kiss, massaging his tongue with her own. Few low moans escaped his lips as his tongue explored her hot mouth. She wrapped her arms around his neck, wanting to have him as close as possible. He kept kissing her, his hands moving onto her ass. Another moan escaped her throat, kissing him passionately.

"Hmm, door." He moaned into her mouth, taking few steps towards the door. ''Do you think we can, here?'' She mumbled, throwing the door shut. "We've done it before." He grinned at her dirtily. ''Hmm.'' She nodded her head, kissing him again as he lead them to his bed. "Good." He mumbled against her lips as they fell on the bed, her on top of him.

Addison kissed him heatedly, her hands disappearing under his shirt. His hands travelled up her back and pulled her shirt upwards as they did so. She felt the garment slipping over her head, tugging at the hem of his shirt. He arched his back so that it would be easier for her to remove his shirt. She slipped the shirt over his head, immediately unbuckling his belt.

"Impatient aren't we?" He chuckled, starting to remove her pants.

''Am not.'' She unzipped his jeans.

"Okay, whatever you say." He fused their lips, trying to remove her pants. She lifted up her hips for him. He slid the jeans off her hips, kissing her eagerly. She took off his jeans too, rolling them around to his body was covering hers. He grinned, his lips moving onto her neck, dropping small kisses all the way down to her collarbone.

''Derek, slow.'' She said. She wanted love, not sex. "Okay." He mumbled, bringing his lips back onto hers. She captured his lips with hers. He let out a small moan, running his other hand up and down her side. She sucked in his bottom lip, her hand wandering over his boxers. He felt his erection growing and he kissed her harder, not able to control it. She brushed her hand over him again, massaging him through his boxers. He let out a low moan, gently biting her lower lip before sucking on it.

She loved the reaction she was getting from him, teasingly sliding her hand in his boxers. "Addie." He moaned against her lips, kissing her roughly. She heatedly kissed him back, wrapping her hand around him. His moans became louder as she started moving her hand on him. She stroked her hand around him, slipping her tongue back into his mouth. His tongue instantly rubbed up against hers, already feeling light headed.

After a few seconds she pulled down his boxers. He moaned into her mouth, he tried to keep down the moans but very move she made did it almost impossible. She pulled back from the kiss. ''I want you now.''

"Hmhmm, you do?" He mumbled, kissing her again while pulling down her panties. ''Yeah.'' She nodded eagerly. "Good, because I need you right now." Derek fused their lips, throwing her panties to the floor. She let out a loud moan, wrapping one leg over his. He slowly slid into her, letting her adjust to him. She closed her eyes, burying her head in his shoulder. ''Slow.''

"Yeah." He dropped a soft kiss on her shoulder before starting to thrust into her with a slow pace. Addison let out light moans, wrapping her legs around his hips.

He kept thrusting into her and letting out small moans as the pace started getting little faster. She moaned out his name, clenching her muscles around him. "Addie" He moaned, kissing her neck hungrily. She tightened her legs around him, feeling herself getting closer. His head started getting cloudy, not being in the control of his own body anymore. He started going faster and deeper. After a few seconds she felt her orgasm washing over her, feeling nothing but bliss. He followed right after her, breathing heavily and carrying on the movement until the both of them were finished. Afterwards they were both breathing unsteadily. ''Thank you.'' She whispered. "My pleasure." He whispered back, still out of breath.

''I love you.''

"I love you too." He didn't want to pull back instead of doing so he kissed her softly. She tenderly kissed him. She finally had him back, the love of her life.

After few moments he pulled back, rolling onto his back on the small bed. "This is a really small bed." He laughed, pecking her lips. ''Yeah I remember that.'' He smiled. "I like this kind of packing."

''Yeah?'' She laughed, resting her head on his chest as their legs were tangled beneath the sheets.

"Yeah, I do." He laughed as well, lazily wrapping an arm around her body.

''I'm so glad you're back.''

"Me too." Derek breathed in the scent, not wanting to leave her ever again.

''You know when we're really screwed?''

"What?" He asked, looking at her confused.

''If god decides another pair of twins would be fun.''

Derek laughed. "Yeah, it'd be bad." His hand travelled over her stomach.

''Do you want a girl or a boy?''

"It'd be nice to have another boy."

''Oh gosh.''

"What's wrong with boys?" He grinned.

''Have you met our son?''

"He's not that bad." Derek laughed.

''He hates his own mother.''

"He doesn't hate you Addie" He pulled her a little closer.

''Yes he does and he isn't afraid of letting me know either.''

He's just little confused about the break up, I'm sure it will get back to normal." He dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

''I hope so.''

"It will, trust me." He held her close.

She traced patterns on his chest.

"You think we should get up?" Derek smiled. "We might not want them to catch us..."

''Yeah.'' She nodded, throwing off the blankets. Soon he found himself staring at her. She gathered her clothes. He got up from the bed, starting to look for his clothes. She quickly got dressed. ''What do you still have to pack?''

"Uhm well half of my clothes and some stuff." He said while putting on his jeans.

''Okay.''

He put on the rest of her clothes, giving her quick kiss after that. "Could you pack my clothes? I'll go get my stuff from the bathroom."

''Sure.'' She gave him a smile, turning to his closet.

"Thanks." He smiled, disappearing from the room.

After a few minutes Addison walked into the bathroom with a stack of magazines in her hands. ''My, my, my Derek Shepherd.'' He turned around, seeing the magazines she was holding. "Shit." He had forgotten about those.

''So... you must've really missed me.'' She started flipping through the pages of Playboy, nodding.

"Addie!" He gasped, trying to take the magazines from her.

''Yes?'' She stepped back so he couldn't grab them away. His jaw dropped. "Addie! Those are my... I meant, they're not mine!"

''Right. Let me guess, they're Nancy's?''

"Uhm well not exactly..." He tried to get closer so he could take the magazines from her.

''So you admit they're yours?''

"Maybe, but they're old magazines!" He insisted, reaching to take them from her.

''Old?'' She rose her eyebrows at him. ''How old?''

"Uhm, I don't know." He grabbed one of the magazines.

''Liar.''

"Not." He rolled his eyes at her.

''I've known you since you were 16.''

"Fine, maybe not so old." He looked at the release day of the Playboy he was holding.

''April, 13th. Doesn't sound that old to me.''

"Shut up." He laughed, taking another magazine. "But this one is from 2002!" He said as he looked at the day.

''Oh so you got them behind my back for years?''

"Shit." He cursed again, flashing her a smile.

''Oh you can say that.'' She didn't care about the Playboys, she cared about him doing it secretly.

"Sorry Addison." He looked into her eyes. She just looked at him in return.

"I'm sorry Addison." He repeated, not breaking the eye contact.

''For?''

"For buying Playboys behind your back and now lying about it."

''Why did you?''

"At this point I don't know anymore. Seems like the stupidest idea ever."

''Okay...'' She was confused.

"Addie?"

''Yes?''

"Remember that I don't want you to be like those women." He smiled.

''You don't?'' She felt her voice cracking. She tried so long to be one of those women men desired... those women HER man desired.

"No, I want you to be you." He smiled, he didn't want her to turn into one of those women.

''Why not?''

"Because you are way better then those bimbos."

''How?''

"Everything, just absolutely everything about you is better. Your hair is natural, when the light hits it from the right angle it just looks breathtaking." He smiled, great now I'm obsessing about her hair. She gave him a small smile, blushing.

"Your smile." He gave her a sparkling smiled back. "And the way you blush when I say something like that..."

''Thanks.'' She whispered.

"You're welcome." He smiled, dropping the magazine on the floor.

''It's just...'' She took a shaky breath. ''I changed so much...for you...''

He took a step closer, stepping on the magazine but it didn't matter. "I should have noticed."

''But you didn't...''

"I didn't notice you, I should have paid more attention to you." He wrapped his arms around her.

''Yeah...''

"I'll make it better." He pulled her close to him.

''Yeah?'' She leaned into his touch.

"Yes, I promise."

''Okay.'' She closed her eyes. ''Derek?''

"Yeah?" He asked, resting his head on hers.

''You know for the month that we're on probation, I don't think we should have until it's over.''

He bit on his lip, this was going to be hard. "Uhm... sure... if that's what you want."

''It's for the best, so we both won't get hurt in case is doesn't turn out good.''

"Hmm, there's no chance of that." He kissed the of her head.

''Yes there is.''

"Aren't you just full of hope." He said sarcastically.

''No I'm not. There's a healthy chance of us failing.''

"You're right, but I'm not letting it happen again."

''I sure hope so.''

"Yeah." He pulled back slightly, bringing up her chin and kissing her softly. She closed her eyes, softly kissing him back. He kept on kissing her, trying to show how much he loved her with a one kiss. She wrapped her arms around his waist. He pulled her closer to him so that they were as close as possible. She pulled back from the kiss and hugged him tight. Not able to wait to go asleep in his arms tonight and wake up in them tomorrow.

"I love you Addie." He smiled at the touch, loving the feeling of her against him.

''I love you too Derrie.'' She grinned.

"Derrie?" He laughed.

''Well you call me Addie.''

"But it sounds cute."

''I think Derrie sounds cute too.''

"Hmm, I don't see it. That only reminds me of big teddy bear."

''Why?'' She laughed.

"I dunno, sounds bear-ish." He shrugged.

''Then what does Addie sound like? Bunny-ish?''

"Hmm, kinda but it reminds me more of you."

''Well it's good my name reminds you of me instead of a stuffed bunny.''

"It is, but seriously, Derrie?" He laughed.

''Yes Derrie.''

"Whatever." He smiled, kissing the top of her head.

''I love you Derrie Der.''

"I love you too Addie Add."

She burst out in laughter.

"Shut up, not funny." He pouted his lips.

''Kind of is.''

He rolled his eyes, pulling back from the hug. "Yeah it is funny." He admitted, starting to laugh. She smiled at him. ''Come we need to pack.''


	6. Dates, Beaches, and finally some Love

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 6 – Dates, Beaches and finally some Love._

Few days later Derek had settled in and they had spent their days as a family, since it was the weekend, Derek and Addison had planned on having a date-night. He waited in the living room, this was going to be great, he had it all planned.

''Derek!'' Addison yelled from the stairs.

"Yeah?" He yelled back, walking towards the sound.

''Why won't you tell me where we are going?''

"Because it's a surprise." They had gone through this thousand times.

''But I don't know what to wear!'' She walked into the hallway upstairs pouting, hanging over the banister. Dressed in a bra that revealed more than it covered and matching black lace panties.

"Hmm, there's nothing wrong with those but I think people would stare." He grinned at her underwear.

''What kind of people?'' She didn't make an effort to cover up.

"People." He smiled at her. "People from I'm-not-going-to-tell-you-land."

''You suck you know.''

"I could suck but you said no sex." He grinned, he knew he was going to piss her off.

''Oh shut up!'' She said annoyed.

He smiled, walking up the stairs. ''Go away.'' She rested her head on her hand.

"Lets get you some clothes." He passed her, walking towards the bedroom.

''I won't wear them.''

"C'mon Addie." He went into the room, walking towards his closet where he had hidden a sundress for her.

''Nope. Either tell me or take me naked.''

"I'm planning on telling you." He yelled from the bedroom as he pulled out the sundress.

''When?''

"Now if you get your pretty ass over here."

She turned around sighing. ''Yes?''

"We're going to the beach, we can have dinner there and go swimming or just look at the waves." He confessed as she stepped into the room.

''Aww!''

"Like the idea?" He held out the dress.

''You bought that for me?'' She bit her bottom lip, feeling tears well up. Damn those hormones!

"Yeah..." He furrowed his eyebrows together.

''That is SO cute...''

"Uhm... good." He smiled, walking towards her.

''Yeah...'' She smiled dreamily. This was her Derek. He kissed her quickly, handing the dress to her.

''I don't really want to swim though...''

"We don't have to." He smiled against her lips, just wanting to please her.

''Okay.'' She nodded. Truth was she was uncomfortable to wear a bikini.

"But please get dressed now." He smiled before kissing her gently.

''So what do I wear?''

"Try on that dress." He nodded, he wanted her to put on something and fast, her lingerie was quite revealing.

''Okay.'' She walked further into the room. She opened the closet and pulled out a bikini, beginning to take off her bra.

He fell back on the bed, looking at the ceiling. It was bad enough that she was wearing just bra and panties, but now naked? She pulled down her panties and slipped on the bikini bottoms. He slightly raised his head, taking a quick look of her before getting up.

''Tie my top please.''

"Okay." He said admiring her for a moment or two as he walked towards her.

''What were you doing?'' She teased but couldn't help feeling her heart flutter at his attention.

"Nothing." He blushed a little as he reached her, helping her tie her top.

''You can just be honest you know.''

"Hmm, and tell you I was checking you out?" He grinned, placing a kiss on her shoulder.

''Mhm. I like it when you look at me.'' Addison said honestly.

"Good, cause I'm not going to stop." He smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.

''Hmm I can live with that.'' She smiled too.

"That's great." He smiled, his other hand travelling onto her stomach.

''Hmm.'' She closed her eyes.

He smiled, placing another kiss on her shoulder. ''I love you.'' She said softly. Oh how she had missed this.

"I love you too." He replied with a smile on his face.

''Hmm.'' She covered his hand with hers. ''Are you excited?''

"Yeah, I can't wait. How about you?" He smiled at the touch of their hands.

''Me either.''

"It's going to be great." He buried his head into her hair.

''Yeah, I mean, the third one has got to be normal right?''

"What, Jussie and Bug aren't normal?" He laughed.

''Uhm...no.'' Addison laughed along.

"And our little one is going to be perfect." His hand wandered over her stomach.

''Hmm we made the mistake thinking that first time.''

He let out another laugh. "At that point we didn't know it was twins."

''Gosh we didn't.''

"Yeah, we were only 21 and pregnant with twins." He smiled, smiling against her hair.

''Hmm that seems like yesterday.''

"Yeah but we really should get going..." He kissed her neck.

''Yeah we do.''

"Get dressed, I don't know how much more I can take this torture." He grinned as he unwrapped his arms.

''Hey!'' She laughed.

"Seriously, you look hot." He placed a kiss on her shoulder.

''Hmm thanks.'' She smiled widely at him.

"You're welcome." He smiled back at her.

''Now get your trunks.''

"Fine." He rolled his eyes, walking towards his closet. She grinned, looking at him.

He smiled at her, taking off his shirt before opening his closet. Addison kept looking at him. Gosh he had a great chest. Derek grinned, taking trunks from the closet. ''Hmm.'' She smiled. He smiled, unzipping his jeans and letting them drop to his ankles. Her eyes dropped to his butt, the one thing she fell for immediately. He raised his eyebrows at her, feeling glad that she still did that.

''What?'' She grinned.

"You're looking." He smiled, leaning against the closet door.

''Yes I am. So?''

"I like it." He grinned and turned towards the closet, bringing down his boxers and pulling on his trunks.

''Oh you do?'' She asked, not forgetting to take a quick peek.

"Yeah." He answered, smiling at her. He found it kind of a cute.

''I like your butt.''

"Good, I like it too." He grinned arrogantly.

She rolled her eyes at him. ''Of course you do.''

"Who wouldn't?" He smiled, walking towards her.

''Cocky.''

"But true." He kissed her quickly.

''Oh yeah?''

"It is."

''How do you know?''

"Uhm, duh?" He rolled his eyes. "And for the record, I like your boobs." He kissed her again.

''Hmm just my boobs?''

"And your ass and those legs..." He smiled.

''Hmm what about them?''

"Everything about them." He grabbed her ass, kissing her softly.

''Hmm.'' She grinned against his lips.

"Yeah." He grinned back.

''I love you.''

"I love you too Addie." He smiled widely.

''Good.'' She took the sundress and threw it on.

"That looks good" He pointed out the obvious.

''Yeah?'' She looked down at the dress.

"It does." He nodded, looking at the dress for a while before his eyes wandered to look at her boobs.

She laughed when she caught him. ''My eyes are up here honey.''

"What?" He snapped out of it, looking into her eyes.

She rolled her eyes at him.

He raised his eyebrows. "Seriously what?"

''You were staring honey.''

"Oh, right." He finally understood what she was talking about.

''Mhm. So ready to go?''

"Uhm, yeah let me just put on jeans and a T-shirt." He went to the closet.

''Okay.''

He quickly dressed up and then looked at her direction. "I'm ready."

''Me too.''

"Let's go then." Derek held out his hand.

''Hmm.'' She smiled, walking close to him.

He grabbed her hand as she was close enough.

A little over an hour later they were lying on a big beach towel. Addison's eyes were closed as she still kept her husband's hand in hers on her stomach. "I love you." He whispered lovingly in her ear, his hand moving gently on her stomach. ''I love you too.'' She smiled. She could barely remember the last time she felt this happy. He placed a small kiss on her lips, instantly returning back to his place as their lips separated.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked at him. ''This is nice.''

"Good that you think so too." He smiled, just simply looking at her.

''We should do this more often.''

"We should, have dates like twice a week or something."

''Yeah.'' She nodded. ''But we can't.''

"We could make time for it." He shrugged.

''We can't bring the kids to your parents that much.''

"Why not? They love each other." He pouted his lower lip. "And besides my dad wants to get to know them."

''Yeah but I still want to spend much time with my kids.''

"We could spend quality time with them." He smiled.

''We could take them on dates?''

"If you want to, yes."

''I do.''

"In that case we could do so."

''Good.'' She closed her eyes again, enjoying the warm sun on her skin. He just looked at her, loving the way sun brought out the colour of her hair.

''Can you put some lotion on my legs?'' She started to feel her legs tingle because of the sun. "Sure." His hand left her stomach, reaching for the lotion that was next to her. She handed him the lotion instead. "Thank you." He pecked her lips quickly. A smile graced her lips. He gently started rubbing the lotion onto her legs. She bit back a moan. He carried on with the movement, adding some lotion and going higher. ''Hmm.'' Addison moaned, his hands felt like heaven. He raised his eyebrows slightly, massaging a little harder.

''Derek.''

"Hmhm?" He looked at her.

''Hmm.''

"Okay." He furrowed his eyebrows together, massaging the lotion onto her thigh.

''Harder.''

A small laugh escaped his lips that had sounded so dirty to him. He massaged harder as she asked. Another moan escaped her lips. He had to bite on his bottom lip so he wouldn't laugh. "You like that?"

''Yeah.'' She nodded her head.

"Great." Derek smiled, adding some lotion on his other leg.

''Mhm.''

He started massaging her other leg.

After a few minutes he was done and Addison opened her eyes to look at him. He put the lotion next to him and laid on his back, gazing into her eyes. She smiled at him and rolled on top of him. He let out a small laugh, raising an eyebrow at her.

''I love you.'' She smiled, pecking his lips.

"I love you too." He whispered, pecking her lips back carefully.

''Why are you whispering?''

"I wanted to see if you whisper back." He smiled.

''Why would I whisper?''

"Normally when people whisper, you whisper back." He smiled, kissing her softly.

''Hmm so?''

"I wanted to see if you do so." He kissed her again, not getting enough.

''Well I didn't.'' She loved his little kisses.

"Hmm, you didn't." Derek kissed her again.

''Mhm.'' She playfully pulled back.

He looked confused for a second before trying to kiss her again. She pulled back once again. He rolled them over, pressing a quick kiss on her lips.

''What are you doing?''

"I kissed you." He rolled them over again.

''I noticed.''

"Hmm, I'm surprised that you did."

"Oh shush."

He smiled widely at his wife.

''Shall we get an ice-cream?''

"_An _ice-cream?" His face lit up, he liked the idea of the two of them sharing an ice-cream.

''Yes an ice cream.'' She laughed.

He smiled, pecking her lips again. "Sounds like a good plan."

''Hmm good.'' She got up from the towel.

He got up as well, taking her hand in his as they started walking towards ice-cream stand. She held his hand in both her hands, resting her head against his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head as they stood in line, waiting for it to get shorter. Addison smiled and leaned her body against his.

"What flavour of ice-cream do you want?" He asked after a moment of silence, his fingers playing with hers.

''Vanilla and strawberry.''

"Hmm like always." He pecked her lips.

''Yeah.'' She smiled sweetly at him. ''What about you?''

"Chocolate." He nodded, it was his favourite one.

''Hmm you know you're going to have to share right?''

"Fine." He rolled his eyes, acting like he really didn't want to share but the truth was the total opposite. She laughed at him and pecked his lips. ''Reason why I love you.''

"Aww, you love me only for my ice-cream?" He mocked, kissing her softly.

''Hmm no, it was one of the many, many reasons I love you.''

"Hmm, care to tell me the rest of the reasons?" He asked, she was just feeding his ego that was already as big as the Playboy-mansion.

''Later maybe.'' She smirked.

"Okay." He took few steps forward, still holding her close.

She turned around in his arms and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his chest. He smiled, burying his head in her hair as his arms wrapped around her tiny figure. ''I love you.'' She mumbled against his chest.

"What did you say?" He asked, he knew what she had just said but he wanted to hear it again.

''You know what I said.''

"Aww, you're on to me huh?" He asked, knowing she had figured out his intentions.

''Yes.'' Addison laughed. Derek laughed as well. "I love you too."

''Hmm what was that?'' She teasingly joked.

"That's my tactic, it has a copyright you know?" He rolled his eyes jokingly.

''Oh does it?''

"Yeah it does." He smiled, pecking her lips.

''Hmm you might have to sue me in that case.''

He laughed. "Well, I'll let it go this time."

''Really? No punishment at all?''

"Well now that you mentioned, I may have to punish you. You were a bad girl." He grinned.

''Oh were I?'' She gave him a seductive smile.

"Yes you were." His grin grew.

''Hmm too bad trial can't start until one month.''

"Yeah, what a shame and actually it is 28 days." He had been counting the days.

''Mhm.''

He kissed her softly and the line moved again, only one person in front of them anymore. She tenderly kissed him back. She had missed this Derek so much. He didn't break the kiss as the person in front of them moved away from the line with his ice-cream. She held him close, continuing to kiss him.

The woman behind the stand cleared her throat, highly annoyed. But the couple didn't hear it and continued to kiss.

"Excuse me?" The woman finally spat, making Derek pull back slightly.

''Sorry.'' Addison blushed, embarrassed.

"Yeah, sorry." Derek looked down, blushing a little as well.

"What do you want?" The woman asked.

"Uhm..." He looked at Addison.

''A vanilla and strawberry ice cream please.''

"Okay." The woman started making the ice-cream while raising an eyebrow at Derek.

"Chocolate." Derek smiled, linking his fingers with Addison's. Addison smiled at his action.

Derek took his wallet from his pocket as the woman gave them their ice-creams. "It's $3,43." She took her ice cream as the woman handed it to her. Derek paid for the woman and took his ice-cream as well. They walked back to their towel hand-in-hand. ''I want a lick.''

"Noo, it's my ice-cream." He pouted, protecting his ice-cream from her.

''I told you, you're sharing that.''

"Well, you're sharing that." He pointed at her ice-cream.

''Uh no, I'm not.''

He laughed. "Oh and why not?"

''Because it's mine.''

He rolled his eyes, pecking her lips carefully. "Fine, just _one_ lick."

''Hmm you usually never say that when we're not talking about ice creams.'' She mocked, taking a lick of his ice cream.

"Shut up." He laughed, taking a lick of the ice-cream after her.

''Well it's true.'' She took another lick of his ice cream.

"Hmm it is." He rolled his eyes, doing the same as her. "Addie, I said one lick."

''It was melting off of the cone!''

He raised his eyebrows, "Hmm really?" He took her ice-cream from her, taking a bite of it.

''Hey!'' She tried to get her ice cream back.

"It was melting, I just helped you." He grinned, giving back her ice-cream.

''Your baby was craving ice cream, you're going to get me another one later, considering this is already half eaten.''

"Aww." He smiled, pecking her lips once. "Whatever _you _ want."

''Mhm.'' She sat down once they reached their towel. He sat right next to her. "So you admit it's you, not the baby."

''Right now, the baby IS me honey.''

"I'm sure it is." He let out a small laugh, kissing her softly.

She stuck out her tongue at him, eating her ice cream "Hey! That was mean." He smiled, licking his ice-cream. She just shrugged, looking over the beach. He laid down, looking up to her. "You look beautiful."

''Thank you.'' She smiled down at him gratefully.

"Welcome." He smiled back to her, he loved that smile.

She bent down and sweetly pecked his lips. ''I think I'm going to walk around for a little bit."

"Are you asking me to come with you?" He pecked her lips back before licking his ice cream again.

''Hmm actually, no.'' She got up.

"Seriously?" He asked, slightly hurt.

''Mhm. I'll just be right back.'' She walked away from the towel. He raised his eyebrows, tracking her with his eyes.

Addison slowly walked over the beach, walking towards the sea until she was standing in the wet sand, the ocean hitting her feet with it's waves every few seconds. He tilted his head to the side, just looking at her, thinking about them and their little baby. She looked at the horizon, her mind slowly drifting off to what their future would look like. He smiled, eating his ice-cream every once in a while. They would make it, he wouldn't let them fail again. She stared at the sea like this for several minutes until a little girl accidentally bumped against her legs.

"I'm sorry." The girl said quickly, looking up to Addison with her sparkling blue eyes.

''No problem.'' Addison smiled at the little girl. ''What's your name?''

"Anna." The girl smiled back at her, sticking out her hand. She had good manners. Addison laughed and shook the little girl's hand, scooting down to her level. ''Nice to meet you Anna, I'm Addison.''

"Nice to meet you too." She smiled widely, she wasn't a shy kid at all.

''So how old are you?''

"I'm 5 years old." She grinned rather proudly. "How old are you then?"

''I'm 23.'' Addison smiled.

"Wow." Anna smiled back at her. "Are you gonna go swimming?" She asked rather excitedly.

''Hmm maybe, you?''

"YES!" She laughed.

''All alone?''

"Well mommy is somewhere... here." She looked around, not spotting familiar faces.

''Shall we look for her first and ask if we can go swimming?''

"Yeah." The little girl smiled at the thought.

''Okay what does your mommy look like?''

"Well she's tall and blonde..." She bit on her lip, looking around her.

''What's her name?'' Addison asked instead, there must've been over a 100 tall and blonde women on the beach.

"Daniela." Anna grinned, grabbing Addison's hand in hers.

''Okay let's look for her.'' She smiled at the little girl.

"Okay." She smiled back at her. "Where do we go now?"

''Well can you remember where your towel is?''

"Well it was somewhere there." The girl pointed towards Derek's direction.

''Okay.'' They walked towards the direction Anna pointed at. After a few minutes they found Daniela and Anna ran towards her.

"Mommy!" Anna hugged her mother.

"Sweetie, where did you go?" Daniela hugged her tight.

"I went to watch the waves and then I met Addison!" She smiled excitedly, pointing at Addison.

''Hi I'm Addison.'' Addison walked closer to the woman, holding out her hand.

"Hey Addison, I'm Daniela. Thanks for taking care of her." Daniela smiled, shaking her hand quickly.

''No problem.'' She flashed her a smile. ''Anna and I were wondering if it's okay if we went into the sea?''

"To the sea?" She bit on her lip, she was kinda protective about her daughter but as she saw the look on Anna's face she just had to say yes. "Okay but I'm coming with you."

''Okay.'' Addison nodded, she wouldn't let either of her children go with a stranger either.

"Good." Daniela smiled, grabbing her daughter's hand. "And just call me Dana, it's easier."

''Sure.'' They started walking towards the sea when they neared Derek on their way.

"Hmm, look at that one. HOT." Daniela nodded towards Derek who didn't see them nearing him.

''Really you think so?''

"Obviously, c'mon would you just look at him?"

''Well I'm glad you approve of my husband.''

Daniela blushed instantly. "Your husband? Oh god this is just great."

''Don't worry about it.'' Addison laughed, looking at Derek who still hadn't seen them as she plopped down right next to him. A small gasp left his lips but soon he recognized her, giving her a small kiss on the lips. "Hey."

''Hi.'' She grinned. ''Wanna go into the water with us?''

"Us?" He raised his eyebrows, not noticing they had company.

''Mhm.'' She got up and pulled Derek with her. ''Derek meet Daniela and her lovely daughter Anna.''

"Hello Daniela." Derek smiled at her, shaking her hand that she offered.

"Hello Derek." She replied as Derek looked down to Anna.

"Hello, you're Anna right?"

"Yes, nice to meet you Derek." Anna smiled, offering her hand which Derek shook quickly. Addison smiled at them. ''You know Anna, Derek and I have two kids too.''

"You do?" Her face lit up. "How old are they?"

''They're two.''

"They're just three years younger than me!" Anna smiled. "What are their names?"

''Hailey and Justin.''

"Hailey is a pretty name." Anna smiled widely.

''Why thank you.''

''Maybe you can meet Hailey and Justin some time.'' Daniela stroked her daughter's dirty blonde hair.

"Yay!" Anna jumped a little, clearly excited by her mother's suggestion.

"I think that's a great idea." Derek smiled friendly at Daniela.

''Do you live in the neighbourhood?''

"Uhm we live near central park." He made a smile.

''Well we could stop by sometime.'' Dana gave him a smile.

"That'd be great, I bet the kids would love that." He looked at Addison, his arm going around her waist.

''Hmm.'' Addison smiled at his touch, leaning against his chest. He smiled at Addison, dropping a short kiss on her lips.

''Wanna go in the water now?'' She asked, looking at her husband.

"Okay. You ready to go?" He looked down to Anna.

''Yes!'' She jumped up and down excitedly.

"Great!" Derek said excitedly, already starting to walk towards the water as Daniela took Anna's hand in hers protectively.

''Oh by the way, if you throw me in I won't talk to you anymore.'' Addison warned.

"Aww, you said that last time and I can hear you talking to me." He laughed at the memory.

''I mean it.'' They stood in front of the ocean.

"Hm, I don't know if I could even carry you." He teased, walking into the ocean.

''That's mean.''

"No, it's a little thing called truth." He carried on walking further.

She didn't follow him but just stood in the sand with her arms crossed.

"C'mon I was kidding." He rolled his eyes at her.

''It's not funny.''

He laughed, walking back towards her.

''Stay away from me.'' She warned. He raised an eyebrow at her. She just looked back at him pissed.

"Addie, you're not fat or getting fat." He took one step towards her.

''Shut. Up.''

He sighed. "I was just teasing you."

''You don't have to make me feel fat Derek, I already do a good job at that myself.''

"You are not fat." He shook his head smiling. "You're the opposite of fat."

''Then stop telling me I am!''

"I already stopped." He pressed a really quick kiss on her lips when he was close enough. She just pushed him away.

He bit the inside of his cheek, looking at the woman he loved and wanted, desired, she was mad at him. Addison shook her head, walking past him into the ocean. He sighed, following her deeper into the ocean, once again he had managed to ruin this. She swam away from him. He shook his head as he followed her, he wanted to make it up, he really did, but he didn't know how to. She closed her eyes, feeling the sun. He looked at her, seeing her enjoying something made him happy, bubbly.

She turned around, looking at him. Derek made a small smile, tilting his head to the side innocently. She just looked at him. He simply looked back into her eyes, not doing anything else. She raised her eyebrow at him. He let out a small sigh, he knew what he did was wrong. She crossed her arms.

"I'm sorry." He said, looking into her eyes.

''For?''

"For saying that stuff, it was a stupid joke."

''It was.''

"I didn't mean that stuff, I wouldn't mean it in million years."

''Sounds like you do.''

"I don't."

She raised her eyebrow again.

"I don't mean it Addison." He shook his head.

''Fine.''

"I'm serious." He made an apologizing smile.

''I said fine.''

"Okay then." Deep inside he knew he really wasn't forgiven, she was just saying that. She looked away from him.

"Wanna swim?" He asked, he needed to take his mind off this.

''Okay.''

"Good." He started swimming, hoping she'd follow him. She sighed and began to swim. He looked over his shoulder, relieved to see her following. She stopped following him. What was the use if he just swam the other way from her anyway? He looked over his shoulder again, furrowing his eyebrows together, stopping in his tracks. She threw her wet hair back, swimming back towards the shore. He started swimming faster towards her, thank god he had entered swimming contests when he was younger. Soon he reached her.

She felt him close to her but she just continued to swim, walking out of the water when she was able to stand. He kept following her, soon walking by her side. "Please talk to me." She ignored him, looking straight forward. "Addison." He tired again, still walking by her side. ''What do you want?'' She spat. His jaw dropped, clearly shocked by the way she was talking to him. "I- I-"

''You?'' She raised her eyebrow.

"I want you, but I get it that you're mad at me. You have every frigging right to be mad at me but I did say I'm sorry." He shook his head.

''Oh so first you offend me but then I should let it go because you said 'I'm sorry'?''

"No, you shouldn't let it go because I said 'I'm sorry'. You're supposed to let it go because I didn't really mean it and you should know that."

She clenched her jaw. He shook his head. "So be mad all you want, but please don't yell at me I already feel bad enough, have been for past 4 months." Her eyes softened, looking at him. ''What do you mean?''

"Well first of all I was stupid enough to go and cheat on you, I've felt bad ever since and then for a moment everything seemed clear, I was happy again and now I once again managed to say something bad and you're mad at me." He tried to explain, rambling a little.

''I'm pissed, not mad.''

"Well it's bad enough..."

''Just let me be pissed okay.''

"Okay." He nodded, not happy with this though.

''And believe me those 4 months you've been feeling bad, I've been feeling even worse.''

"I know and I didn't want you to feel bad, that's why I didn't tell you in the first place."

''Years ago we promised each other we wouldn't keep secrets from each other, I'm disappointed you didn't hold up to your end of the bargain.''

"I know, it was a mistake, the whole thing, the kiss, not telling you and I regret it deeply and I was a horrible husband."

She kept quiet.

"Look, I'm changing. I changed during our marriage, I don't know if it was the stress or something else, maybe school but still... I want to go back to that, to buy flowers, get you lilies when it's your birthday, feed strawberries to you. I just want to go back and be the Derek you fell in love with."

''I want that too.'' She said quietly.

"Good." He smiled at her, she still looked so fragile. She gave him a small smile back. He flashed her a quick smile, lacing their fingers hesitantly. She gave his hand a small squeeze. He squeezed her hand back lightly and they carried on walking towards the ig towel. Once they reached it, she slowly lay down on it. He sat down next to Addison, looking down to her admiringly.

''What?'' She smiled at him.

"Nothing, I was just looking at you" He let a soft laugh pass his lips. She chuckled too. He gave her a smile as the laughter stopped.

''The twins' birthday is coming up.''

"Yeah, you have any ideas what to give to them?" Derek asked casually, in desperate need of tips.

''Well for Justin I was thinking of a big sandbox with toys in it and one of those little machine thingy's where you can sit in and dig in the sand and for Hailey, I had this life-size doll house in mind, you know one which we can build in her room and she can play in it.''

"Sweetie those are amazing!" And expensive he added in his mind. "And that life-size doll house, how did you come up with that?"

''I used to have one like that.'' A soft smile played on her lips.

"Aww, that is so cute." Derek gently brushed his thumb over her cheek as he laid down.

''Do you think Jussie will like the present? Since you're a guy and all I need your opinion.''

"I would have loved to have one like that when I was a kid." He gave her a wide smile.

''Maybe we should give him something else too.''

"Yes, we should but I really can't think of anything right now." He shook his head, giving her an apologizing smile.

''But you really sure he'll like it?''

"Yes, I'm absolutely sure he's going to like it. I would have wanted one when I was a kid so yes, he's going to like it." Derek nodded. "And I'm sure Hailey is going to love her gift too."

''Yeah?'' Addison smiled.

"Absolutely." He grinned. "You've thought about this a lot, haven't you?"

''What if I have?''

"Nothing, I think it's sweet."

"You haven't thought about it"

"I have but I've been distracted a little..."

She raised her eyebrow.

"Well, I've focused on you." He tried to explain.

''Right.''

"I have, haven't I?"

''You have.'' She confirmed.

"Yeah." He nodded.

Addison gave him a sweet smile. ''We have to decorate a nursery.''

"Yeah, but we need to know the sex or paint the room yellow."

''Do you want to know the sex?''

"We could find out..."

''Yeah. Do you want a boy or a girl?''

"Boy." He nodded as he said so.

''Why?''

"I don't know, I can't explain it but a boy would be nice..."

''I want a girl.''

"A girl? And whys that?"

''Girls are easy, and sweet.''

"So that makes boys... difficult and unsweet?"

''Mhm.'' She laughed teasingly.

"We are not!" He laughed along.

''You are.'' She teased.

"Others are, I'm not." He pressed a tender kiss on her lips. "I'm very sweet."

''Hmm you are.''

"Thank you." He smiled against her lips. "You're pretty sweet too."

''Hmm thanks.'' She looked into his eyes.

He looked back into hers, "You want another ice-cream?"

''Nope.''

"You want a kiss?" he tilted his head slightly.

''I really do.''

He smiled for a short moment before kissing her gently. She softly kissed him back. He ran his fingers through her red hair. She moved her hand up to his cheek. He smiled against her lips, running his tongue over her bottom lip. She parted her lips under his. His tongue slipped into her mouth, bringing his hand on her cheek as well. She massaged his tongue with hers. Derek let a small quiet moan escape, his tongue duelling with hers. She moved him closer to her. He willingly moved closer, their bodies were pressed up against each other now. She moved him on top of her, needing to have him as close as possible in public. He smiled against her lips, she really was going to torture him during this no-sex-month, 28 more days and then I can have her... forever. Don't get too excited now Shep. Addison started sucking on his bottom lip.

Another small moan left his lips, this one was loud enough for her to hear it. She chuckled against his lips. He let out a laugh. "Not funny."

''What isn't?''

"You don't get to laugh at my moans caused by you." He pouted his lips the slightest bit.

''Hmm sorry honey.'' She looked into his eyes. He pecked her lips.

''I love you.''

"I love you too"

''Hey mind if I take my bikini top off?''

His eyes widened. "Not at all."

''Okay.'' She arched her back, untying the strings. He smiled and pecked her lips again. She smiled at him, putting the bikini top in her bag. He tried hard not to look, he really did try and somehow managed. She wrapped her arms around his neck. Her breasts pressed up against his chest, oh dear god... think something ugly, something horrible. She placed a kiss on his neck. Suddenly his trunks seemed uncomfortable.

''Derek?''

"Oh god, no." He closed his eyes, resting his head on her shoulder.

''Uhm yeah...''

"Be happy, you're attractive." He shrugged.

''But I wasn't doing anything.''

"You took off your top and kissed my neck, that's all it takes."

''Weird.''

"Awkward."

''Sorry.''

"It's okay." He pressed a kiss on her shoulder. She smiled, holding him close. He smiled back to her, running his hands up and down her sides. She kissed his cheek. He hummed a little at the touch. "Cute."

This time she placed a sweet kiss on his ear. "You better not breathe in there." He mumbled and placed a kiss on her shoulder. She breathed into his ear, just to tease him. His eyes closed. "You suck." His erection grew once again. She giggled into his ear. Oh this was torture for her as well, feeling him against her. Deciding to tease her back, he ran his fingers along her inner thigh. A moan escaped her tightly shut lips. He grinned, letting his hand move upwards again, brushing over her breast.

''Derek!''

"Accident" He raised an eyebrow, bring the hand on her cheek.

''Mhm right.''

"Oops." He grinned and kissed her. She chuckled. ''Could you please move off of me now? I wanna tan.''

"I don't want to." He tilted his head, not moving.

''Come on.''

"Hmm, only if I get to lay on top of you this night." He pecked her lips.

''No, no sex remember.''

He pouted his lips slightly, he hated this. "Fine."

''Now move please.''

"Addison, I think you're forgetting that we have a big problem."

''Oh yeah?''

"Oh yes."

''Just move onto your stomach.''

"You're stupid." He moved off of her.

''You're the one with an erection.''

"You're the one with pretty boobs."

''You've seen them many times before.''

"Never get bored." He shrugged.

''Hmm that's good.'' She closed her eyes.

His eyes closed as well. "It is."

She started sunbathing. He opened his eyes and looked at her every now and then. "You'll burn your boobs like that."

''Then rub them in with sun block.''

"You're not serious."

''They're going to get sunburned.''

Derek sighed dramatically, taking the sun block from a bag. Addison tried to hold back her grin.

"I can see you smiling." He took some sun block on his hand.

''I'm not.'' She bit on her cheeks. He grinned "Oh right..." He moved on top of her. She opened her eyes to look at him.

He pressed tiny kiss on her lips, letting the lotion warm up on his hand. Addison smiled at him. Slowly he let his hands cup her breasts, pressing a light kiss on her lips. She let out a small moan at the contact. He raised an eyebrow teasingly, starting to massage her breasts. She threw her head back, closing her eyes. He grinned widely, carrying on doing what he was doing.

''Hmmm.''

"Please don't moan." Gosh this was such a torture.

''I'm trying okay, don't massage just rub.''

Derek let out a laugh, "Okay." He started to rub the lotion on her breasts.

''Thanks.''

"No problem." He carried on rubbing on the lotion. She opened her eyes looking at him. He looked back into her eyes. She smiled at him. He smiled back to her, removing his hands. She closed her eyes again. He rolled off of her, this time on his back. She blindly reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together.

"You found my hand with your eyes closed." He smiled in a dumb way.

''Yeah?'' She chuckled.

"Yeah." He let out a laugh.

''I'm good.'' She rested her other hand on her stomach where their baby was growing.

"You sure are." He pressed a kiss on her hand.

''I love you.''

"I love you too, so, so much."

A smile spread over her lips. He smiled as well. "I don't want to leave."

''Why would you have to leave?'' She asked confused.

"Home, leave the beach."

''What about Jussie and Bug?''

"Point well noticed." He nodded his head. "I miss them, but I like spending time with you alone."

''Yeah me too but I really miss being away from them, I don't think I've ever been away from them for longer than 24 hours.''

"Once we were, we had that weekend get away and you called my mother every five minutes." He chuckled.

''Yeah that doesn't count.''

"Hmm okay." He pressed a kiss on her hand. "You want to do that again? Go somewhere romantic?"

''I do I really do but I want to be with them as well...''

"I know you do." He smiled, she couldn't really stay away from the kids.

''So it's hard.''

"Yeah, I know it's hard for you."

''I'm sorry.''

"Yeah it's fine." He nodded.

''Thanks.''

"Welcome."

''Are you excited for this baby?''

"I am, I can't wait to see the ultrasound." He smiled widely, rolling onto his side.

''Yeah me either, let's just hope it's one baby this time.''

"Ah another set of twins wouldn't be fun."

''Excuse me?'' Her eyes snapped open.

"Crap."

''What?''

"I meant that just a baby and 2-year-old twins are a handful, imagine 2 babies and Jussie and Bug who are like energize bunnies 24 hours a day."

''Yeah well Hailey you can calm down but you really have to tire out Justin before bedtime.''

"Yeah." He nodded. "He's going to be great at sports."

Addison chuckled. ''But he can be a sweet boy when he wants to, I think he just finds it hard to share his attention with Hailey.''

"Yeah, Hailey is always bragging at him, trying to help with everything so she get's pretty much attention."

''That's because she actually likes helping.''

"She really does." He smiled again.

''She's a sweet girl, she's shy.''

"Yeah she is shy, and very sweet, she gets that from me." He grinned cockily.

''Liar.'' She laughed.

"Am not." He acted hurt.

''You are, Justin is such a mini Derek.''

"Is not!"

''He is.''

"Hmm, what makes you say that?"

''He really has your personality.''

"He does?" He raised his eyebrows.

''Yeah and Hailey's got mine.''

"She does, she's such a sweet girl." He smiled widely.

Addison smiled as well. ''Great, now I wanna go home.''

"Gosh." He let out a laugh. "Really?"

''Yeah...I know it's pathetic but I really do miss them every minute I'm away from them.''

"It's not pathetic honey, you're their mother, you have the right to miss them every second you're away from them."

''Maybe.''

He pressed a kiss on her stomach. "Not pathetic, cute."

She smiled at the kiss.

"You wanna go back home?" He looked up to her as he pressed another kiss on her stomach and tried to ignore her breasts.

''Soon.''

"Okay" He laid on his back.

She rested her hand on his hard stomach. He placed his hand over hers, playing with her fingers. She smiled at the gesture.

"You have nail polish." He smiled.

''Yeah?'' She chuckled, he could be so random.

"Yeah I just noticed." His smile grew.

''What's with the nail polish?''

"Nothing, I just thought it's cute. It's the same colour you used when I proposed." Yeah, he noticed weird things.

''How do you know?'' She gave him a weird smile.

"I remember weird things."

''It's sweet.''

"Thanks." He smiled at her shyly. She gave him a sweet smile. He pressed a quick kiss on her lips.

''I love you.''

"I love you too."

Addison smiled. He smiled back to her, linking his fingers with hers. She closed her eyes again, moving closer to him. He pulled her closer so that she was partly laying on top of him. She kissed his side. He let out a laugh. "That tickled."

''Sorry.'' She smiled at him, leaning over him to grab her sunglasses. But instead of letting her return to her place, he wrapped his arms around her waist so that she was forced to stay on top of him.

''Derek.'' She pouted.

"Whaaat? You don't like it there?"

''I do but not right now.''

"I don't like you." He poked out his tongue and unwrapped his arms.

''Some things stay in the bedroom honey.''

"Fine." He slapped her ass gently. She grinned, climbing on top of him. He let out a laugh.

''What?''

"Nothing" He smiled at her.

''Okay.'' She rested her head on his chest. He pressed a tiny kiss on her hair, breathing her in. She wrapped her arms around him. He moved his hands around her waist again.

''We're having another baby.''

"We're having a baby."

''Yeah...'' She smiled.

"I'm gonna be a dad."

''You are.'' Addison smiled. She loved how Derek was with their children.

"You're gonna be a mommy." He softly brushed her back.

''Again.'' She placed a kiss against her chest. ''I think I should quit medical school.''

"What?" He looked at her slightly shocked, well he had seen this coming but still he never thought she'd actually do it.

''I barely go to class now, there's no way I could go now.''

"Well yeah, that's true. So you want to quit med school?" He asked with a soft tone.

''I don't but I don't have a choice.''

"You would have been a great doctor." He gently brushed his hand over her cheek.

''Maybe.'' Addison sighed, it had always been her dream.

"Look, we could find a way. If you want to continue med school, we could do something, arrangements. I'd give you the notes and we'd go over them together and all that."

''You know that won't work.''

He gave her a sad smile. "I know you want to be a doctor, I don't want you to give up on your dreams."

''Yeah...I know.''

He softly kissed her. "We'll figure it out."

''Yeah...''

He started brushing her hair, not knowing what else to do.

''Did you think about baby names yet?''

"A little, I was thinking that maybe Steven, Stephan, something like that for a boy."

''I like Aiden.''

"Aiden is a pretty name, Aiden Shepherd, Steven Shepherd, Stephan Shepherd..." He tried out the names.

''I don't really like Stephan.'' She scrunched up her nose. He let out a laugh. "I like Aiden, it's a great name."

"So...Aiden?''

"Yeah, girl names? Madison? May?"

''I like those names. I also like Avery.''

"Avery is beautiful, I like uhm... Natalie or Natalia too."

''I like Natalia.''

"Yeah, it's my favourite."

''Do you want to name her Natalia?''

"It can be the middle name or something."

''What will be her first name?''

"Uhm you said you liked Avery."

''Yeah?''

"Avery Natalia?" He screwed up his face, maybe it wasn't such a good combination after all.

''You don't like it, I can hear it in your voice.''

"I was just thinking it might be better the other way around." He shrugged. "Natalia Avery."

''I don't really like Natalia to be her first name, sorry.''

"It's okay, we had the same thing with Jussie and Bug" He shrugged, they never could agree on names.

''Yeah. Something else?''

"Well I really, really like Avery, it's just that deciding second name is hard."

''Well I think you should choose the second name.''

"Uhm I want something like... Madison... Marilyn... no it needs to be cute. Princess-ish." He laughed. Addison laughed too.

"Madeleine?" He suddenly suggested.

''I love Madeleine!''

Derek smiled widely. "Really?"

''Really.'' She lifted her head to look at him. He looked into her eyes, she really did like the name. "Avery Madeleine?"

''Yeah.'' She smiled. ''I love that.''

"We have a name." He smiled sweetly.

''We do. What about Aiden though?''

"Something starting with M?"

''Hmm like?''

"Ma..something?"

''Yeah?''

"I don't know, can't he just be a cool guy with one name?" He suggested, he hated names.

''How about we'll make up one when we know if it will be a boy?''

"I like that idea." He ran his fingers up and down her back.

''Good.'' She laid her head back against his chest.

"Are you cold?" He asked as he felt goose bumps on her back. "It's getting late..."

''Yeah and we wanted to take Jussie and Bug shopping remember?'' She wasn't cold, the goose bumps was something his touch did to her.

"Yeah we should get going..." He really didn't want to leave but... they had kids waiting at home, well at his parents but whatever.

''Yeah.'' She got off of him, standing up. He stood up as well, handing her the bikini top. "Here."

''Thanks." She took the top from him.

"Welcome" He pecked her lips gently. "So how did you like the date?"

''I loved it.'' She started pulling on the top. He smiled. "Me too, I bet you loved the ice-cream-part." He made a clicking sound with his tongue and motioned her to turn around.

''I did.'' She turned around. ''Stop clacking your tongue.''

He let out a laugh. "Why? It's a fun voice." He did the drawstrings of her top.

''The kids are copying it.''

"Really?" He pressed a kiss on her shoulder to let her know he was ready.

''Yes.'' She turned around, smiling at him.

"Hmhmm." He kissed her softly. She gently kissed him back. He pulled back slowly after few moments. "I love you."

''I love you too.'' She smiled sweetly, wrapping her arms around his waist, she seemed to feel particularly clingy today. He smiled back to her, placing his hands on her hips. "You look beautiful."

''Thank you.'' She placed a sloppy kiss on his muscled chest. He smiled, planting few light kisses on the top of her head, loving the feeling of her close to him.

''God can you believe we will actually have another baby?''

"Well I don't know, but there's no one I'd want to do it rather than you." He kissed her cheek.

''Oh I'm glad your wife is the only one you want children with.'' Addison rolled her eyes.

He let out a laugh. "You know what I meant."

''Hmm I hope I do.''

He pecked her lips, not knowing what else to do or say.

''Let's go home.'' She pecked his lips one more time before unwrapping her arms.

"I'd love that." He smiled at his wife widely and slowly let his hands move off of her hips. Few minutes later the couple was making their way towards his parents' house.


	7. Home, Romantic baths and the prove

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 7 – Home, Romantic baths and the prove that old people really do have Sex_

A little while later they stood on the doorstep of Derek's parents. Derek knocked on the door and stepped in, they never really locked doors. "We're here!" He called. Addison walked in after him, lacing their fingers together. Derek gave her a smile and lazily played with her fingers. Not a moment later Theresa stepped into the hallway. "Why hello you two."

''Hey mom.'' Addison smiled.

Derek smiled widely at his mother. "Hey mom."

"So how was your date?" Theresa walked closer to give them both hugs.

''It was great.'' Addison hugged her mother in law. ''Thanks so much for watching the twins.''

"No problem, Gabriel really enjoyed tonight, he probably can't wait for the next time." Theresa laughed as she hugged Addison back.

''Well that's a difference.'' Addison chuckled as she walked into the living room. God it couldn't be healthy how much she missed her children after not even one day. Derek stayed in the hall talking to his mother, thinking that Addison probably wanted the kids for herself for a minute or two.

Inside the living room, Hailey looked up, a smirk appearing on her face as she realised her mother standing in the room. "MOMMY!"

''Hey sweetheart.'' Addison grinned. Justin turned around at the sound of his mother's voice, his eyes widening in excitement. ''Momma!''

Hailey was the first one up and she ran towards her mother with unsteady steps and clung onto her leg. "I missed you mommy."

''I missed you too Angel.'' She picked Hailey up as tears welled up in her eyes. Jesus she really did miss her.

"Mommy why are you crying?" Hailey furrowed her eyebrows together. "Did I do something wrong? Is it cause I left my toys to the floor? I swear I'll clean them up! I promise!"

''No, no.'' Addison quickly said, wiping away her tears. ''I just really, really missed you two.'' She said as Justin wrapped his arms around her legs tightly. ''I missed you too momma!''

"Oh. Like daddy missed you?" Hailey looked like she really was thinking about this, Derek had confessed that he missed Addison once, or twice. Once he almost started crying, that's why the little girl remembered that.

"What?"

"Daddy told me he misses you, when he was away for a while." Hailey explained and then rolled her bright blue eyes.

''I wants kiss too!'' Justin tugged at her leg.

''Let's go to the couch okay?''

Hailey nodded excitedly and wrapped her arms around her mother's neck. She walked towards the couch with them. ''Hey dad.'' She smiled at Gabriel.

"Hey sweetie." Gabriel dropped a kiss on Addison's cheek before Justin crawled to sit on his lap.

''Did everything go alright today?'' She asked him as she sat down with Hailey.

"Yeah, the twins were amazing, they just had a little argue, which TV-show to watch, it was between Spongebob and some Dora-thing."

''How was it solved?'' She stroked Hailey's hair.

"Papa made us watch the news." Hailey screwed up her nose.

''Dad!'' Addison gave Gabriel a disapproving look, they were far too young to know about the cruelty of this world. He lifted up his hands. "There was nothing bad in the news today, I swear."

''There could have been.''

"There wasn't." Gabriel hugged Justin against his chest.

''I don't want them to see the news okay?''

"Okay." He nodded and gently brushed Justin's hair. "So what did you do at the date?"

''We went to the beach.'' Addison smiled.

"Ah, must have been lovely?" Gabriel turned on the TV, changing to Disney Channel.

''Yeah it was great.''

"Good, good." Gabriel smiled.

''Yeah.'' She kissed the top of her daughter's head. Hailey turned in her mothers lap and placed a finger on her small lips. "Kiss here." Addison smiled and pressed a kiss against her lips. The little girl giggled and soon turned her attention back to Winnie The Pooh. Addison chuckled and smiled at Justin. Justin smiled back widely, almost grinning as he crawled closer to his mother. "I want a kiss too!" Justin grinned and pouted his lips together like Addison's were as he leaned forward. Addison gave him a small kiss. Justin pulled back and gave her another kiss after a second. "I love you momma."

''I love you too Cutiepie.''

"I love you too mommy!" Hailey moved on her lap.

''Mommy loves you too sweetie.''

"Guess what?" Derek whispered, he had just appeared to the room without anyone noticing. "I love all of you."

''Dadda!'' Justin yelled excitedly, slipping off his grandfather's lap as he wobbled over to his father. Derek let out a laugh, capturing Justin in his arms throwing him on his shoulder, careful enough not to hurt him. Justin laughed loudly. Derek grinned and spun for a moment. "Urgh I missed you Jussie."

''I missed you too dadda!'' The little boy giggled. Slowly he removed Justin from his shoulder. "Oh you did?" He faked surprised.

''Yes!''

Derek grinned, walking closer to the couch where everyone was sitting. "How about you my little Bug?" He kneeled down and gently touched Hailey's chin.

''I missed you too daddy.'' Hailey gave him an innocent smile.

"I missed you too Hails." He placed a tender kiss on her nose. Hailey scrunched up her nose and giggled. Derek chuckled and leaned closer to Addison, giving her a sweet peck on the lips.

''I love you.'' Addison whispered, pecking him back.

"I love you too." He smiled sweetly as he sat down right next to her. Addison kissed his cheek. ''Hey Jussie, Bug are you tired?''

"A little." Hailey said honestly and stretched out her body.

''Do you want to go to bed at home?''

"No." Hailey pouted but her parents knew she was going to fall asleep within 30 minutes.

''We'll take them shopping tomorrow.'' Addison whispered, knowing her little girl was too tired.

"Yeah I thought so." Derek gave her a sad smile, pulling Justin close to him. "What about you kiddo?"

''I'm not tired.'' He shook his head, right if they had to believe Justin he was never tired.

"Hmm, really?" He swore to god that one day he was going to make that little boy run outside, around their house at least 10 times so that he'd calm down.

''Yeah.''

"Hmm, sounds like someone is getting way too much sweets, don't you think so Addison? Maybe he's getting way too much sugar, a little boy of his age should feel sleepy at this hour."

''He's just energetic.''

"He's always energetic." Derek looked at Justin who had started to almost jump on his lap.

''It's normal.'' Addison smiled. Justin and Hailey were nearly opposites on everything.

Derek captured the little boy into his arms and got up, if there wasn't too much traffic they might make it home before Hailey fell asleep. "I think it's time for us to go."

''Yeah.'' She got up as well with Hailey in her arms, her head on her shoulder.

"Say bye bye to grandma and grandpa." Derek threw Justin onto his shoulder and started to leave the room.

"Bye Nana! Bye Papa!" Justin waved his hand and grinned.

''Bye grandpa!'' Addison let Hailey give him a kiss.

"Bye sweetheart." Gabriel smiled widely, running his finger over Hailey's soft cheek.

''Byeee.'' She grinned at him. Theresa smiled at Hailey and dropped a soft kiss on her hair as she walked past them. "Bye Bug."

''Bye grandma!''

Derek was waiting at the door patiently, still carrying Justin, who needed to be worn out. Addison pecked Theresa's cheek and made her way to the door.

"See you soon!" Derek smiled widely as he grabbed Justin's coat.

''Thanks again for watching them.'' Addison got their stuff.

"No problem." Theresa and Gabriel said in union, making them look at each other. They hadn't done that in a long while. Addison chuckled. Derek smiled at his parents, this was rare. He knew things weren't perfect between his parents. Theresa smiled sweetly at Gabriel, leaning closer to peck his lips. But instead of a peck on the lips, Gabriel gave his wife a soft kiss. Theresa melted into his touch, gently kissing him back. He wrapped his arm around her waist. Her arms linked around his neck, pulling him closer. They hadn't kissed like this since... well for years.

''Someone is getting some.'' Addison mumbled.

"Ew. Don't make me think about that." Derek screwed up his face, taking a hold of Addison's waist and leading her out of the house, just before Gabriel pushed Theresa to lay on the couch.

''My poor babies, I don't want to know what your parents did while we were gone.'' She teased as they walked towards the car.

"They wouldn't dare, they're old, old people don't... do that." He shook his head.

''You wouldn't be standing here without them.''

"Ew, well your parents had to do it too." He gave her a look that clearly said she shouldn't continue this subject. Addison shrugged, this didn't effect her. ''Let's just hope your dad doesn't have Supersperm like you do.'' She said as she strapped an already asleep Hailey in the car seat.

"I have 4 sisters, what do you think?" He started doing the same to all hyper Justin.

''Shit you're right, it probably runs in the family but don't you dare knock me up with five kids.''

Derek raised an eyebrow. "I can't quite hear you." He teased and finished with Justin.

''Oh I'd chop it off.''

"You'd what?" He looked rather shocked.

''Three is enough.''

"Well yeah." He shrugged and closed the door and opening the driver's side's door.

''So, no way five.''

"Okay." He gave her a smile, getting into the car. She got into the passengers seat. He leaned closer whispering "Three is enough." and quickly pecking her cheek.

''Mhm.'' She smiled. He put the key into the ignition and started the car, taking one quick look at the house which was a mistake, you could see straight into the living room from this angle. "Eww."

''What?'' Addison asked confused.

"You don't want to know." He shut his eyes closed. She furrowed her eyebrows.

He covered his face with his hands. "I did not see that, I did not see that..."

''What are you talking about?''

"Look in the living room's window." He tried to convince himself that his parents weren't actually having sex on their living room couch. Addison looked passed him, her eyes widening. ''Derek!''

"I told you didn't want to know!"

''Just drive for god's sake!''

He opened his eyes and sighed, starting to drive. Addison couldn't help but letting out a small chuckle. Derek gave her a look. "I've slept on that couch, god knows how many time they've done it there."

''Be happy for your mother.''

"Eww why would I be happy for her getting laid?"

Addison shrugged, turning around to see both Justin and Hailey asleep.

"Okay I'm going to be grumpy for the rest of the day, I'm going to apologize already for my future behaviour."

''You can't do that.''

"Why not?"

''Because, you have to be nice to your wife.''

"I'm sorry." He gave her a smile before looking back at the road.

''Hmm we still have to have dinner.''

"Yeah, we do. How about we cook together?"

''What do you want to cook then?''

"Something easy, I'm not actually a Martha Stewart."

''Like I am.''

He smiled. "You make good sandwiches."

''How can I not?''

He let out a laugh before stopping at the traffic lights. "We have 5 seconds, kiss me." He leaned towards her. She laughed and kissed him. He kissed her back softly, a smile gracing over his lips. She sucked on his bottom lip. A quiet moan left his lips as he did the same to her upper lip. She slipped her tongue into his mouth. His tongue started massaging hers as his hand brushed her cheek. She let out a moan, kissing him passionately.

Their time was up, but neither of them realised this just yet. Derek let out a moan as well, his other hand running through her hair. She rested her hands on his jaw. Derek tilted his head slightly, letting the kiss become even deeper. She pulled his face closer, not getting enough of him. He moaned again, needing more and more every single second. Their tongues duelled with each other heatedly.

A car behind them honked, making the two of them pull apart. Addison smirked. ''You better drive.''

He grinned. "You better kiss me again at the next set of lights." He started to drive.

''Hmm I definitely will.''

Derek smiled, trying to keep himself from grinning or jumping up and down on his seat due to the excitement. She gave him a sweet peck on the cheek. Another smile lingered on his lips, his hand moved over her thigh, not doing anything dirty, just resting there. Addison smiled resting her head on his shoulder. "I love you Addison." He put his other arm around her shoulders, holding the steering wheel with the other hand. ''I love you too sweetheart.'' She closed her eyes. He chuckled warmly, letting her rest there, she sure had deserved a good nap. She held his hand that was around her. A soft smile played on his lips again, letting their fingers lace together.

''Maybe we can take a romantic bath together tonight?''

"I like the sound of that, what do we need? Candles?"

''Mhm and some rose petals, a soft music, bubbles.''

"And do we have any of that?"

''Yeah I think so.''

"Okay, good." He smiled widely, he was really looking forward to this. Addison smiled. ''Do you have school tomorrow?''

"No, you have something planned?" He dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

''Well the shopping.''

"Oh right, shopping. Sure."

''Hmm what shall we have for dinner tonight? Or shall we order in?''

"We could cook something, but we could order in. You're pretty tired, aren't you?"

''Yeah.'' She nodded her head.

"We could order in, what is my baby craving for?"

''Hmm strangely enough, nothing yet.''

"Wow, well what do you want then?"

''Hmm Chinese, maybe pizza?''

"Pizza is always a great choice."

''Mhm.''

"So pizza it is?"

''Yep.''

"Okay good."

Five minutes later they reached their house. She got out of the car. He did the same and after a moment or two he was holding his little boy in his arms. Addison walked into the house with Hailey. Derek followed them after locking the car, he closed the door behind them and walked up the stairs towards the children's room. Addison was already upstairs, laying their little Bug in her bed. Derek smiled at the sight, placing Justin on the changing table as he started to change him to his pyjamas. She decided not to put on Hailey's pyjama's considering she was wearing a comfortable dress. Some time later Derek was ready with Justin, placing him in his bed, gently tucking him in.

''They're so sweet.'' Addison whispered. ''We're blessed.''

"Yeah, we really are." He placed a sweet kiss on the top of Justin's nose, whispering good night into his ear.

''Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve this all.''

"You do deserve it, you deserve it all." He gently brushed Addison's cheek as he walked to Hailey's bed. Addison watched him.

Derek placed a kiss on Hailey's forehead. Whispering the same words to her as he did to Justin. She smiled, then walked to Hailey's bed as well, rubbing her tummy and placing a kiss on it. This was routine, Hailey used to have little stomach cramps when she was a baby and Addison would calm her down by rubbing her tummy and it just stuck to the bedtime routine. Derek smiled sweetly at her actions, moving towards the door, lingering there, waiting for his wife. She walked over Justin, giving him a kiss. He looked at them, mother and son... his wife and his son. He really couldn't be happier at the moment, she was a great mother to his children. There was no one else for him and he knew it. She smiled at her little boy, stroking his cheek before turning around.

'I love you' Derek mouthed and then gave her a dreamy smile. 'I love you too' She mouthed back, god she really did love him. Derek held out his hand for her to take it, still the same smile on his face. She gladly took his hand. Slowly he pulled her close to him and turned off the lights, backing out of the room with her. She wrapped her arms around his torso. He leaned closer, their lips only inches away. She could feel his breath on her lips. A moment later, which felt more like eternity, their lips touched, brushing together just the slightest bit. She began to nibble of his lip very lightly.

The kiss was tender, just the way both of them wanted it to be, they knew what the other wanted, desired... He slowly trailed his fingers up her sides. She moved her hand under his shirt. A light moan left his lips, she knew exactly how he wanted to be touched. She ran her fingers over his back, just slightly touching his skin with her fingertips. His fingers brought up her top just slightly as they brushed up and down her back, knowing that they couldn't and wouldn't. She moaned a little in his mouth. ''Are we going to order dinner?'' He smiled. "Yeah..." He smoothed down her top as a sign he wasn't pressuring her into anything. She gave him a smile.

He gave her a dreamy smile once again and took his cell phone from his pocket. "So what do you want in your pizza?"

''Hmm cheese and tomatoes.''

"Sounds delicious." He dialled the number of a pizza place and started to order. "One with cheese and tomatoes... and another one with... salami and pineapple."

Addison led him to the couch, sitting down in his lap. He pressed a quick kiss on her lips, continuing to order. He gave their address to the guy on the phone. She rested her head against his chest. He smiled at her, letting his other hand caress her back. "Okay, thank you very much." He hung up the phone. Addison kissed his cheek. He placed a kiss on her ear, then another one behind it. This made her giggle. He let out a small laugh, planting few more kisses there.

''Hmm.'' She closed her eyes. He smiled at her reaction, running his fingers over her back. She moved her hand to the inside of his thigh. He gasped lightly, this is not what he had expected. She started to massage his thigh. A moan left his lips and he tucked at her shirt before raising it upwards. She let out a small gasp as the cold air hit her skin. He placed his lips on her neck after the top was removed. She shifted in his lap, smiling when she felt his hardness. He let out another moan, starting to suck her neck lightly. She took off his shirt. Derek looked into her eyes, their gazes locking. She looked into his eyes, filled with desire. Derek studied her for a moment, seeing that certain sparkle in her eyes. He ran a finger over her lips. She leaned into his touch.

A smile played on his lips and he cupped her jaw, tenderly kissing her. She gently kissed him back. His tongue granted for access as he felt himself harden under her, well that's what she did to him. She let out a moan, running her fingers over his chest. His fingers moved over her skin, memorizing every curve of her body. She ran her fingers through his curly hair. "Hmm." He mumbled against her lips, letting his arms wrap around her waist. She pushed her tongue into his mouth. Derek willingly let her tongue enter his mouth, instantly his tongue duelling with hers. She let her fingers play with the ends of his hair. He toyed with one strap of her bra, running his fingers over it, letting it almost fall before placing it back where it belong.

''What are you doing?'' She mumbled against his lips.

"I'm kissing you." He murmured back, knowing that this wasn't what she was asking.

''Hmm.''

"Why?" He moved his other hand to her hair, brushing it gently.

''No reason.''

"Hmmm okay." He smiled against her lips, pulling her a little closer with his other hand. She placed a few sweet kisses against his lips. He placed few strays of hair behind her ear before taking her hands in his, linking their fingers together.

''I love you Derek.''

"I love you too Addison." He gave her a sweet smile. She smiled back at him.

Slowly he leaned closer once again. She gave him a soft kiss. He kissed her back, playing with her fingers. She started toying with the button of his jeans. He smiled and allowed his fingertips to draw on her back. I, 3, U. Addison shivered under his touch. He placed a kiss on her jaw, another one on her neck and a third one on her collarbone. She smiled with her eyes closed, tracing circles on his shoulder. He placed a sweet kiss on her throat, his fingers moving on her sides adoringly. She let out a breathy moan. He smiled against the skin on her shoulder, pressing few more light kisses there. She moved her head to the side.

His right hand slowly moved up and down her back, tracing her spine while his left hand followed the right one like a shadow. She let out low moans. He placed his lips on her neck, lightly kissing it, loving her reaction to his every move. She wrapped her arms around his neck, sucking on his earlobe. A moan passed his lips, letting his hands move to her abdomen then downwards onto her thighs. She let out a loud moan. His fingertips barely touched her thighs now as he let them travel up and down them. ''Hmm Derek.''

"Yes honey?" He smiled before placing his hands on her thighs again, this time he let them stay there, the palms of his hands against her thighs, only separated by her jeans. ''I want you.''

"Hmm?" He moved his hands upwards to undo the button of her jeans. "I want you too."

She lifted her hips a little. Derek smiled as he pushed the jeans off her hips after bringing down the zipper. She helped him getting off the jeans. Soon her jeans found themselves on the floor along with their shirts. She started unbuttoning his jeans. He pressed a kiss on her lips, while he let his hands return to her back, this time unclasping her bra as his fingers met it. She started taking off his jeans. He lifted himself off the couch a little, his erection pressing against her as he did so. She moaned as she could feel him.

At the same time multiple moans left his lips. She cupped his erection through his boxers. He moaned rather loudly, his eyes fluttering closed due to her touch. She started stroking him. His head moved backwards, his back arching slightly as his need for her grew. She slipped her hand into his boxers. "Addison." It was a mixture of a gasp and a moan. ''Hmm yes?'' He didn't reply, he wanted her to continued, he really did.

She took his hard cock into her hand. A loud moan escaped his lips, enjoying her hands on him. She kissed his neck, slowly moving her hand around him. Another moan passed his lips as his breathing became more shallow. She pushed his boxers off with her other hand. His hips moved a little as he removed them, he needed her now, desperately. Her lips searched his as she kept pumping him, suddenly the doorbell was heard. He groaned in frustration, seriously?

''Shit they're gonna wake up the kids.'' She desperately pulled on her jeans. "Fuck." He cursed under his breath, reaching for her shirt that was laying on the floor and then handed it to her. "Go get the door."

''Oh with my boobs in view?'' She pulled her top over her head.

"Well of course not, that's why I gave you a shirt." He rolled his eyes, then the doorbell rang again.

''Damn it!'' Addison hissed, running towards the hallway. Derek started to get dressed, pulling on his boxers. She opened the front door.

''Yeah thank you.''

"It makes $8,95." The guy looked rather amused, messy hair, swollen lips, clearly not wearing bra... looks like he interrupted something.

''Shit let me get some money.''

"Yeah, take your time..."

''Be right back.'' She closed the door. The guy chuckled as he held the pizza's, he was used to this, happened once or twice a day. She quickly got some money and returned, opening the door. The guy, Richard, gave her a smile. She gave him a smile back, handing him the money.

He counted the money before handing her the pizzas. "Here you go, have a nice evening Mrs. Shepherd."

''Thank you, same to you.''

"Thank you." He nodded and turned around.

''Bye.'' She closed the door, returning to the living room with the pizza's. Derek was already dressed. He was looking rather grumpy but his face lit up when she walked in. She frowned her eyebrows at him. He raised his eyebrows. "What?"

''Nothing.'' She sat down on the fluffy carpet. He sat down next to her. "Okay..."

''What?''

"Nothing." He gave her a smile, opening the pizza-box. "Okay this is yours."

''Hmm smells great.'' She took the box.

"It does, can I taste it? Please?" He blinked his eyes at her.

''Sure.''

"Ah the reason I love you." He smiled before opening his pizza box.

Just then the phone rang.

''I'll get it.'' Addison got up. ''Don't eat my entire pizza.''

"I'll try not to." Derek smiled and took a slice of her pizza.

''Really, I'm hungry.'' She got the phone and walked back to him, sitting down before answering. ''Addison Shepherd.''

"You haven't called me." Addison's mother's voice rang through the phone.

''Mother.''

"Addison."

''Why are you calling?''

"To see how you are, you're my daughter, Addison."

''I'm fine, thank you.''

"Good, anything new?"

''Not really but I have news.''

"Yes?" Her mother supported the phone against her shoulder, starting to file her nails.

''Derek and I are expecting a baby.''

Maria's, Addison's mother's, eyes widened and a light gasp left her lips. "He knocked you up again?"

''As you seem to lack another term, yes I'm pregnant.''

"Oh. Again?"

''Again?'' Addison raised her eyebrow, eating a slice of pizza as she leaned against Derek.

"You already have twins and you're not even 24." Her mother shrugged and screwed up her nose, she wasn't into babies.

''Your point?''

"Nothing." She said in a light tone, obviously she had something against it.

"Who is it?" Derek asked in a whisper.

''My mother.'' She covered up the horn. ''I know that you don't agree on this but I'm happy like this.''

"Oh." Derek screwed up his face, he never had liked that woman.

"Hmm as long as you're happy." and I live in Australia, countless miles away from your babies' diapers.

''I am.''

"Good, good..." She nodded.

"What is she saying?" He whispered again, he knew that woman had nothing nice to say. Addison shook her head at him, continuing to eat. ''How are things down under?''

He made a face and took and carried on eating.

"Normal, just got my custom made dress from Channel."

''Channel, great.'' Addison rolled her eyes, laying her head in Derek's lap. Derek softly brushed her cheek, feeding her some of his pizza.

"Yes, it is absolutely beautiful, I should wear it to the Nicholson's wedding."

''Mhm.'' She giggled as she took a bite of it. Derek gave her a smile, pressing a quick kiss on her lips.

"Is Derek there?" Maria asked in a cold tone.

''He is.'' She gave him a few soft kisses.

"Okay." Her mother pouted her lips together for a moment before her husband walked into the room. "Hold on, your father is here. Cal! You want to talk to your daughter?"

''Addi is on the phone?'' He asked in a thick Australian accent, his eyes lighting up.

"Yes, Addison is on the phone." She rolled her eyes, sticking the phone to his hand.

He grinned. ''Hello sweetheart.''

''Hey daddy.'' Addison smiled.

"How are the things in New York City?" He sat on the nearest chair.

''They're great.'' Addison smiled widely.

"Yeah? How are things between you and Derek?" He smiled and stroked his beard.

''Better than ever. Hey daddy?''

"Yes Muffin?"

''I'm pregnant.''

He was quiet for a moment. "That's great news! Congratulations."

''Thanks.'' She smiled.

"Your dad?" Derek questioned, knowing that Addison wouldn't be smiling like this if she was talking to her mother.

''Yeah.'' Addison whispered smiling.

"Tell him hi from me." Derek pressed a kiss on her forehead.

"We should come and visit you some time soon." Caleb suggested.

''You should and Derek says hi.''

"Tell him hi back and congrats once more. This is great." Caleb couldn't stop himself from smiling.

''Thanks daddy.'' Addison smiled, stroking her hand over her stomach.

"So how far along are you?"

''Just a few weeks.''

"Okay, well this is great, I can't wait to see you again Cupcake."

''I can't either daddy, will you come to New York soon?''

"Ah I should book a flight, it's been a while Pumpkin."

''Yeah it really has been... the last time the twins couldn't even talk yet.''

"So you can have real conversations with the twins now?"

''Yeah.'' Addison smiled to herself.

"Are they already sleeping?" He glanced at the watch.

''They are, they spent the entire day at Theresa and Gabriel's.''

"Oh yeah? You went to school?"

''No Derek and I went to the beach.''

"Sounds like fun."

''It was.''

"Good, good..." Caleb nodded.

''Hmhmm. I miss you.''

"I miss you too, a lot."

''Yeah...''

"So I'll let you two get back to whatever you're doing."

''Yeah, see you soon?''

"Yeah, I'll let you know"

''Thanks daddy.''

"My pleasure sweetie, I'll see you soon. Bye."

''Bye.''

Caleb hung up and gave his wife a look before simply stating. "We're going to New York."

''Excuse me?'' Maria raised her eyebrow.

"It's been a long time Maria, she's our daughter."

''Well then she should come to Australia.''

"I won't let her fly here, she's pregnant."

Maria rolled her eyes. ''She flew the last time she was pregnant.''

"Maria, we're going." Caleb got up from the seat.

''What? Now?''

"Not now, in few weeks or something."

''I don't see why we should fly to New York.''

"Because she is our daughter, we hardly see her these days."

''She doesn't see us either.''

"And that is the problem, Maria."

''Well it's not like she comes here either, she's pregnant and I have to call her to find out!''

"Ah I wonder why she didn't call you." Caleb said sarcastically.

''What is that supposed to mean?''

"Think about it" He shook his head. "Like it or not, we're flying to New York."

''Well I'm not.''

"Then you stay home, go to one of your precious parties, dinners or whatever."

''I will.''

"Good." He left the room, shaking his head. Gosh she could be unbelievably selfish.

Maria sighed and sat down.

Miles and miles away in NYC, Addison and Derek had finished with the pizzas but neither of them had bothered to move just yet. She lazily played with his fingers.

"Hmm we could take that long, long bath now..." Their fingertips together.

''Yeah.''

He placed a sweet kiss on her forehead. "Yeah?"

She smiled at him. He smiled back to her, slowly shifting. "I'll go prepare the tub."

''I'll get some music and stuff.'' She pushed herself up with a hand on his shoulder. He got up after her. "Okay sounds great." He placed one last kiss on her lips.

''See you in the bathroom.'' She gave him a sweet smile.

"See you soon." He smiled back and slowly made his way upstairs where the bathroom was located.

Downstairs Addison walked towards the kitchen. "Candles... where would I keep candles?" He mumbled more to himself than anyone else as he stepped into their bedroom, he was looking for those candles that relaxed you and smelled nice. "If I was a woman... where'd I keep them?"

A little while later Addison walked up the stairs, walking into the children's room first to check on them. Derek smiled as he saw her entering their children's room, he quickly and silently ran down the stairs, hoping he wouldn't be noticed. She walked towards the twins' beds. Derek entered the kitchen, instantly opening the fridge, he didn't have much time so he just grabbed a bottle of apple juice since they couldn't have any alcohol. Well he could but she didn't so... this was fair. Addison smiled to herself, stroking her fingers over Hailey's cheek. He looked at the basket of fruits... why didn't they have any berries? Damn it, next time, buy strawberries. Women love them. He opened a cupboard and pulled out two long glasses, the ones they used at special occasions. She turned to Justin's bed.

He smiled widely, walking back to the bathroom with the glasses and the bottle. She gave both the toddlers a kiss. Derek poured apple juice into the glasses and lit the candles, looking at the tub, feeling quite damn proud of himself. Addison left the room and walked into the bathroom. Derek looked at her, a smile on his face. "What do you think? I couldn't find any rose petals so I thought you'd know where they are and it took me long to find the candles and I really didn't know where they were. Did I tell you I didn't find the rose petals?" He wasn't going to stop talking. The confidence inside of him changed to insecurity.

''It looks romantic.'' Addison smiled. ''And the rose petals are in the bedroom, in the night stand.''

"I'll go get them." He smiled back to her, letting out a sigh of relief.

''You don't have to do that.'' She smiled back at him.

"But I wanted it to be perfect."

''It is perfect, you're here.''

He smiled as his heart did a little flip. "Aww, come here." She walked closer to him.

He slowly draped his arms around her. "Now, kiss me." She wrapped her arms around him, softly kissing his lips. He kissed her back gently, their lips were barely touching each other. She gave his lips soft pecks.

"Hmm, we should get into the tub..." He played with the hem of her shirt.

''Yeah.''

"May I?" He lifted her shirt the slightest bit.

''Yeah.'' She held up her arms so he could take off her shirt. He let his hands lift up the skirt, removing it slowly, not breaking the eye contact before he pulled the shirt over her head.

After he took off her shirt she played with the collar of his shirt before moving her hands to the hem and took it off. He smiled, slowly kissing her again as he worked on the button of her jeans. She patiently waited for him to finish. Derek pushed the jeans off her hips. She stepped out of them. He smiled sweetly, placing a kiss on her lips, his hands placed on her back. She gave him a few kisses before taking off his jeans. Smiling he pushed down her panties, resting his forehead against hers. She hooked her finger into the waistband of his boxers. He planted multiple kisses on her lips, waiting for her to remove his boxers. She finally pushed them down.

He smiled and took a step towards the tub. "Music?"

''Hmm I got the CD-player.''

"Hmm great." He smiled, taking a quick look at her body.

''Hmhmm.'' She smiled at him.

"So what did you choose?" He took the two glasses which luckily for him, were still nice and cold.

''Hmm?'' She looked at him.

"Music?" He raised an eyebrow.

''Oh erhm Keith Urban.''

Derek smirked. "If there's life after this, I'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm, wet kiss."

She smiled softly, rubbing his chest. He held up a glass, giving her a smile.

''Erhm honey... I'm pregnant.''

"Apple juice." He tilted his head to the side with a sweet smile.

''Apple juice?'' She chuckled softly. He blushed slightly. "I thought it'd be cute."

''It is, thanks.'' Addison kissed his cheek.

He smiled pretty pleased with himself as he handed her a glass. She took the glass from him, walking towards the bath after she put on the radio. He stepped into the tub, slowly sitting down at the other end of it. She rested her feet against his chest. He let out a soft laugh, tickling her toes with his free hand.

''Hey!'' She giggled.

"What?" He chuckled, carrying on doing what he was doing.

''Don't tickle me or I'll kick you.''

He let out a laugh, slowly letting go of her foot. "You wouldn't."

''Hmm I would.'' She took a sip of her apple juice.

"No, you love me too much for that." He smiled before bringing the glass to his lips and tasting the apple juice.

''Hmm that could be true.'' She rubbed her foot over his chest. He took another sip of the drink, running his fingers up and down her leg. She smiled sweetly at him. He placed a sweet kiss on her leg. She giggled a little.

He smiled and placed another kiss a little higher on her leg. She laid her leg over his shoulder. He kissed up her leg, planting a wet kiss on her knee. She let out a small moan. He smirked, kissing her thigh once or twice. Addison closed her eyes. Few more kisses hit her inner thigh as he moved closer to her.

''Don't drown me.''

"I won't." He laughed softly, moving her leg away from his shoulder.

''Good.'' Addison chuckled. He silenced her laughter with a soft kiss on the lips. "Would never do that to you."

''Hmm.'' She murmured, sitting in his lap. A light moan left his lips and he could feel his erection growing as he kissed her again. She chuckled. ''Wow.''

"Shush." He cupped her cheeks. She gave him a few loud pecks. He moaned against her lips, pulling her closer to him. She wrapped her arms around him.

He smiled softly, not wanting to rush this as he gently tucked some hair behind her ear. She brushed her thumbs over his cheek as he stroked her red hair out of her face. He let his hands down her back, under the water, softly rubbing her skin. She sucked on his bottom lip. A light moan passed his lips as he let his hands come to the surface of the water again, bringing them up her back, the warm water run down her back. She pushed her body up against his, her tongue slipping into his mouth. He could feel her breasts pressing up against his chest, a moan escaping his mouth as he let his tongue duel with hers passionately. She started gyrating her hips. He moaned into her mouth, his need for her growing, his hands going through her hair. She played with the curly edges of his perfect hair. He cupped her breasts with his warm hands, moving his kisses on her neck. She let out yet another moan.

He started massaging her breasts in circles, nibbling the skin on her neck before sucking on it.

''Hmm Derek.''

"Yes?" His voice vibrated against her neck.

''I love you.''

"I love you too." He began to place kisses on her throat. Her skin tingled wherever he kissed her. He placed his hands on her hips, letting his kisses trail downwards, between her breasts. She threw her head back. More kisses were placed on her skin and a hickey was created on her left breast.

''I want you now.''

"I want you too." He murmured against her soft skin, bringing his lips back to hers. She softly kissed him, sinking down on his erection. He moaned against her lips, kissing her back in the sweetest way he possibly could. She leaned backwards until her back hit the bath, taking him with her. He let her adjust for a moment, then slowly he started thrusting into her, his tongue granting for access.

''Oh.'' She moaned out. His eyes closed, not letting the pace get any faster. She held onto his neck, softly kissing it. A smile tugged his lips and he ran his fingers through her hair, keeping the pace slow and steady. ''I love you.'' She breathed in his ear. "I love you too, really, really much." She stayed close to him, after a while wanting him to increase the pace. The pace got a little more intense, faster, thrusts became deeper, just like she wanted it. She let out low moans. His moaning became louder and he started kissing her neck, just below her ear. She clenched her muscles around him. "Addison. He moaned out her name, biting her ear gently. ''Derek.'' She felt herself getting closer.

His breathing got more shallow as he started feeling light headed. She held tighter onto him. ''Deeper.'' He brought her legs higher on his back with one smooth move, going deeper, faster, harder. She bit on her lip, trying not to scream out in pleasure. Derek sucked on her earlobe, the edge getting closer and closer with each thrust.

After just a few thrusts she came, clenching her muscles around him as she cried out his name. His orgasm washed over him, only word he could remember at the moment was her name, which he kept moaning out over and over again. She buried her head in his shoulder, her body shaking as she rode out her orgasm. He carried on the movement until he knew both of them were finished. He rested his head against her shoulder, trying to catch his breath.

''I love you.'' She breathed. "I love...you too." He mumbled back the same words, looking into her eyes. She looked back into his. He placed some bubbles on her nose before kissing her softly on the lips. Addison giggled.

"Bubbles suit you. He smirked and kissed her again.

''Hmm do they?''

"They do." He chuckled against her lips. She softly pecked his lips, sitting up. He smiled and pulled back slowly.

''My parents are coming soon.''

"Yeah? Your mother too?"

''I don't know.'' She shrugged, picking up her glass.

"Okay." He moved to the other end of the tub, picking up his glass and starting to play with one candle. His finger going through the flame quickly, so it wouldn't burn.

''Derek.'' She rolled her eyes, sipping her drink.

"What?" He looked at her, not understanding what she was rolling her eyes at.

''Leave the candle alone.''

He let out a laugh. "Hmm okay." He took a sip of the apple juice. 'I love you' She mouthed. 'I love you too' He mouthed back and then smiled broadly as the song changed. She smiled back at him, her feet against his chest again.

"You like to keep your feet there, don't you?" He smirked, gently stroking her leg.

''I do.'' Addison smiled.

"I like your feet there." He admitted, taking a sip of his apple juice.

''I just like to touch you, to be near to you.'' She shrugged, she always did, whether they would hold each other in bed, up on the couch or simply hold hands in public. He smiled, he would probably never let her know how much those words had meant for him, he loved holding hands, he loved feeling her breath against his chest at night, he simply loved... holding her close and never planning on stopping. "I want you to be near me, every single day of our lives."

''And I will be, I'm never letting you go.''

A smile tugged his lips again and he nodded. "Me neither, me neither... I will never let you go."

''I wouldn't even be able to.''

"Addie... I wouldn't let you go." He brushed her leg with his free hand.

''Good, I wouldn't let you.''

"I love you so much." His blue eyes looked straight into her green ones.

''I love you too baby.''

"We should have baths more often."

''Oh I agree.''

"Good, then it's settled." He smiled widely.

''Hmm so shopping tomorrow and Tuesday school?''

"Yeah sounds good." He started to massage her left foot after placing down the glass. She closed her eyes, letting out a small moan. He carried on the massage, making sure he hit the right nerves, med school really was useful. ''Hmmmmm.'' He smirked, moving on to the other foot, giving it the same treatment.

''Your hands are amazing.''

"Why thank you honey." He smirked and pressed a tiny kiss on her toe after the massage. "Addie?"

''Yes?'' She giggled.

"What happened to the no sex-rule?" He grinned.

''I had this whole probation time planned to see if it would work out between us but you're the love of my life and I don't want to waste another second of my life without you, I know this will work out, we're meant for each other, whatever happened or will happen.''

The grin on his lips turned into a smile as he listened carefully to the every word she had to say, he almost forgot to breathe, he wanted to hear every word she said. He closed his eyes for a moment before opening his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He couldn't talk. He was left speechless. She gave him a small smile. ''And now I'm freaking you out, great!''

"NO! No it's not that at all, I'm just trying to make up a speech that'd top yours but now I realise that's not possible and I might start rambling but anyway, Addison, you're the love of my life. I can't live without you, I don't want to be without you. I want to spend every possible minute of my life with you." Damn it, this whole thing was making him emotional. She felt tears welling up into her eyes. ''I love you, I know those are only three words but I just really love you.''

"Addison, I'm in love with you, always will be, nothing will ever change that." He bit on his lip to keep himself from crying. Addison moved to his side of the tub.

He pulled her close to him, brushing her cheek. "Don't ever leave me." He whispered, not realising how pathetic he sounded.

''I won't, not in a lifetime.'' She wrapped her arms around him.

"Promise?" He looked at her, blinking away the tears.

''I promise.'' She whispered in his ear, holding him tightly. His arms wrapped around her as well, his head resting on her shoulder where he could smell her delicate scent. She placed a kiss on his ear, closing her eyes. He placed kissed her shoulder quickly, next to the spot that tickled if you placed a kiss there. She rested her head on his shoulder. He refused to let her go, he just wanted to hold her like this forever. Forever was a long time but he was willing to spend it with her.

''Baby?''

"Yeah?" He didn't pull back.

''Shall we go to bed?''

He smiled. "You cold?"

''No but I'm tired.''

"Let's go then." He slowly lifted his head from her shoulder. ''Hmm.'' She smiled and got up. He got up right after her. She wrapped a fluffy towel around herself. He smiled and pecked her lips, reaching for his almost identical blue towel and wrapping it around his waist. She turned around, wrapping her arms around him, she loved his chest. He chuckled, his hands snaking around her waist.

Her hands moved down to his ass, her favourite part of him. He raised an eyebrow playfully before letting his hands cup her ass. She gave his ass a good squeeze. He gasped lightly before chuckling. "You have a thing for my ass."

''I do.'' She bit on her lip. He smiled at her. "Good because I think my ass has a crush on your hands." He whispered. ''Hmmm.'' She squeezed it again. A light moan left his lips. "Oh yeah, they do." She squeezed it so his pelvis pushed up against hers.

Another moan left his lips and he kissed her softly. He started to lead her out of the room, kissing her back the same way. She pushed her body up against his. He let out a low moan, feeling his erection growing against her.

''Hmmm.'' She moaned. ''You get an erection so easily.''

"Because of you I can." He mumbled against her lips.

''Hmm that was like, five seconds.''

"You're the most attractive woman on earth, you're mine. Besides you know exactly what turns me on."

''Hmm I do?''

"You do." He mumbled against her lips.

She kissed his lips, slipping her hand under his towel, taking his erection into her hand. A moan passed his lips and his eyes fluttered closed as he kissed her back. She ran her thumb over his tip. He bit on his lip so he wouldn't moan too loud. After a few seconds she started to pump his cock in her fist. A rather loud moan passed his lips, oh dear god. She sucked on his jaw as she pumped faster and faster. "Addie." He moaned, running his hands through her hair. ''Hmm.'' She cupped his balls with her other hand. He took support from a wall as a loud moan passed his lips again. ''Like it baby?'' He nodded his eyes still closed. She increased pace. His breathing became heavier by every single move she made, feeling the edge getting closer. She started squeezing him in between strokes. This only turned him on even more, his head was starting to feel light and he was having hard time keeping his thoughts together.

She alternated between short and long strokes, slow and fast. He moaned lowly, his other hand taking support from her shoulder as he came. She kept pumping her hand until he finished. Slowly he came down from his high, panting heavily.

''Hmmm.'' She smiled.

"Wow... thank you, thank you, thank you." He mumbled, kissing her softly.

''Anything for you.'' She whispered, removing her hands from under his towel.

"I think you need to get a reward for that." He raised an eyebrow, leading her towards their bed when his legs could carry him.

''Yeah?'' She purred.

"Yeah." He grinned and kissed her passionately.

She immediately kissed him back. He picked her up, and started to carry her towards the bed. She wrapped her long legs around his waist. He carefully placed her on the bed once they reached it, wanting to make her feel as good as she just had made him feel. He laid on top of her, not breaking away from the kiss for one moment. She stroked his back. He smiled against her lips, pulling back from the kiss and starting to kiss her jaw. She closed her eyes, moaning softly. He slowly removed her towel while moving his kisses on her neck, licking and sucking and just simply kissing her soft skin. She could feel her skin humming under his touch. His hand ran up her thigh, just barely touching her. Addison let out small moans. He allowed his other hand to massage her thigh while he moved his kisses lower, on her collarbone and then between her breasts. She rested her head back against the pillow, threading her fingers through his hair.

His other hand wandered between her legs, tickling the skin of her inner thigh. ''Don't tease.'' She breathed out, she hadn't either. He chuckled softly, suddenly pushing two fingers into her. She let out a loud moan, grabbing the sheets. "You okay?" He confirmed, he really didn't want to hurt her. ''Mhm.'' She nodded her head. He smiled, slowly starting to move his fingers, pumping in and out. She bit on her lip, moaning lowly. He kissed her collarbone again, slowly moving downwards with his kisses. She let out breathy moans. He softly bit on her left breast, sucking on the skin after it. She threaded her fingers through his hair. He increased the pace, his fingers going faster and evenly curling inside her.

"Oh god.'' She moaned out, bucking her hips up as she arched her back. "Like that?" He curled his fingers once again, his thumb brushing over her clit. ''Yeah.'' She breathed out. "Hmhmm." He mumbled against her skin, his thumb starting to massage her clit harder as his fingers went deeper. ''Derek!'' She yelled out, knowing she was going to come any second. It was obvious to him that she was clearly on the edge so he moved his lips to hover over hers. She kissed him hard, moaning out his name over and over as she came. He carried on the movement till he knew she was ready.

"You okay?" He asked after a moment.

''More then okay.'' She whispered.

"Okay, good." He whispered back, slowly removing his fingers.

''Thank you.''

"My pleasure." He softly kissed her on the lips.

''I love you.''

"I love you too." He smiled and softly brushed her hair. Addison smiled at him.

"You tired?" He raised his eyebrows.

''You wore me out.''

He grinned. "I did."

''And you aren't tired?''

"I am slightly tired." He smiled, pressing a kiss on her cheek.

''Only slightly?''

"Okay, I admit, I'm tired." He chuckled.

''Hmm means I did my job good.''

"You always do" Derek brushed his fingers over her jaw.

''Hmm.'' She smiled.

"I'd do anything for you, you know that right?"

''Hmm anything?''

"Anything." He smiled.

''Hmm would you jump off of a bridge if I told you so?''

"How high exactly is this bridge?" He brushed her hair.

''Hmm high.''

"Is there water underneath it?"

''Would you jump or not?'' She rolled her eyes.

"Jump."

''You're crazy.''

"Crazy for you my Love."

She chuckled. ''Would you tattoo my name on your skin?''

"Yes." He gave her a smile, stroking her cheek softly.

''Yeah?''

"I would." He placed a short kiss on her lips.

''Will you?''

"Are you asking me to?" He studied her eyes.

''Hmhmm.'' She bit on her lip.

"Do you want it to say Addie or Addison?" He whispered

''Addison.''

He smiled, kissing her in a sweet way. "Where do you want it?"

She shrugged.

"Any favourite places?"

''Hmm.'' She smirked. ''Yes.''

"Oh god, what?"

''Well I'd say your butt but I don't want my name on your butt.''

He laughed. "I'm glad you don't, you deserve a better place."

''Hmm what about arm?''

"Right arm?" He kissed her softly.

''Hmm.'' She stroked her fingers over his arm.

"We need to book an appointment..."

''Yeah. Do you want me to get one as well?''

"Do you want to have one?"

''Maybe.''

"I'm not insisting if you don't want to."

''How about I wait until you have it and then I decide?''

"Okay." He smiled and placed a kiss on her cheek.

''You know you don't have to do it right?''

"I'll do it." He smiled at her.

''But you really do want it?''

"Do I want your name on my arm, where I can always look at it and remember you? Yes."

''It's just, I said it, it doesn't mean you have to immediately decide, it's going to be there forever.''

"Like I'll be with you forever. I do want your name to be tattooed on my skin."

Addison smiled at her husband.

"By the way, I hate needles." He pecked her lips.

''You're in medical school.'' She chuckled, resting her head against his chest.

"I just don't like being poked by needles." He let out a laugh, not moving an inch.

''Hmm.'' She placed a soundly kiss on his chest. ''Do you want to schedule an appointment tomorrow?''

"Sure, after the shopping?" He pressed few kisses on her hair.

''Yeah.'' She smiled.

"Okay." He stroke her back, pulling her as close to him as he could.

''If I would get one as well, where would you want it?''

Maybe on your lower back, or shoulder blade."

''Hmm.'' She played with his fingers.

"What do you think?"

''I don't know I was thinking my hip, or my wrist."

"Hip sounds great, He ran his fingers over her back.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, it'd look cute right here." He traced his fingers on her right hip.

''Hmmm.''

"I want your name to be scratched on my arm forever."

''Romantic, really Derek.'' She rolled her eyes.

"Shush." He let out a laugh, pulling her on top of him. She laughed, laying on top of him.

"Hmm, I love you." He gave her a sweet smile.

''I love you too.'' She smiled back at him.

"You wanna sleep there?" He rubbed his hands over her back.

''Yeah.''

"Good." He smiled. "Kiss?"

''Hmm.'' She lifted up her head.

"Please?" He smiled again. She smiled, kissing his lips. Softly he kissed her back, tickling the skin on her back. She softly nibbled on his upper lip. He gently bit on her bottom lip. A soft moan escaped her lips. He began to suck on her lip, his hands moving downwards onto her ass. She rested her leg in between his legs. He moaned lightly against her lips. She started massaging his manhood with her knee.

"Oh dear god." He broke away from the kiss as he felt his erection growing, again. She grinned, removing her leg when she felt him harden. He kissed her heatedly, sticking his tongue inside her mouth. She started sucking on his tongue. A moan left his hips and he rolled them over on the bed. She wrapped her arms around his neck as they kissed passionately. He ran his hand up her thigh. ''We shouldn't.'' She mumbled against his lips.

"You started it." He mumbled back.

''I know.'' She pulled away from the kiss. ''Sorry.''

"Mean." He gave her a look.

''You're so needy for sex lately.''

"I am?" He softly kissed her.

''You are.'' Her heart sunk as she thought back how he was just weeks ago.

"I'm sorry." He brushed his fingers over her cheek.

''Yeah...''

He gave her a sad smile, rolling off of her.

''So, night I guess.''

"Night..." He turned his head so that he could see her. She looked at him for a few seconds before she closed her eyes. As her eyes closed, he leaned closer and pecked her lips softly. She moved her hand to rest on his waist although she didn't open her eyes. For her she always needed to be close to him, to touch him. He draped an arm around her, just holding her close, looking at her as long as he could, his eyes closing after a while, it had been a long day. She inched closer to him so their lips were touching. He smiled a little, starting to kiss her sweetly. She gave him a few soft, slow kisses.

"Good night." He whispered, giving her one more kiss.

''Night.'' She whispered back.

"Sweet dreams." He mumbled.

''You too, I love you.''

"I love you too, a lot." He whispered against her lips.

''Hmm.'' Her lips curled into a smile, those words never got old.

"Sleep." He brushed her hair softly.

''Yeah.'' She pulled him closer.

"Hmhmm." He mumbled against her hair. She started drifting off to sleep. He soon followed her, his mind shutting down and all the thoughts fading away.


	8. Sleeping, Tattoo's and buying Toys

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 8 – Sleeping, Tattoo's and buying Toys_

The next morning Derek woke up, feeling the warmness off his wife who was laying next to him, he slowly turned to face her. His eyes widened as he stared into his daughter's eyes and a light gasp left his lips before he smiled. "Good morning sunshine."

''Hey daddy.'' She smiled widely.

"Hmm what are you doing here?" He smiled at his daughter as he looked into her eyes that seemed like a reflection of his.

''I woke up and wanted to play with you and mommy.''

"Oh yeah? Well mommy and daddy were still asleep..." He wrapped an arm around Hailey.

''Yeah.'' Hailey giggled, crawling on her father's chest. ''Jussie sleeping with mommy now.''

"Oh he is?" Derek chuckled softly, holding his baby girl close. "Had a good night, sweetie?"

''Yes but I miss sleeping in your and mommy's bed.''

"Aww sweetie, big girls sleep in their own beds." Derek explained.

''But it's so lonely.'' She pouted.

"Sorry sweetie but that's how it's going to be from now on..."

''But why?''

"Mommy and daddy are sleeping together." Oh yes they are. "And the bed will be crowded if you sleep there too.."

''Oh...'' She looked down sadly. ''Do you want me to go back to my room?''

"No, you can sleep here now." He gave her a wide smile, giving her a quick peck on the lips.

''Oh okay.''

"Yeah, did you have fun with grandma and grandpa yesterday?"

''Yes!''

"What did you do?"

''We played games and watched cartoons.''

"Oooh sounds like fun!" Derek smiled at the little girl.

''It was.''

"Hmm that's good, you want to know a secret?" He whispered.

''Yes!'' She giggled.

"Okay, shh..." Derek whispered again. "You know what a tattoo is?"

''No?'' She frowned.

"Well... it's like a picture, or writing on your skin, it's permanent."

''That's weird.''

"You really think so? I'm having mommy's name written on my arm today."

''Like with a pen?''

"It's with this... thing." He couldn't really explain it to a 2-year-old.

''A marker?''

"Uhm honey I can't really explain it."

''Are you going to draw it today?''

"Yeah, later today."

''Can I have one too?''

"Sweetie, tattoos are for older people"

''Why?''

"It's permanent, and you can't erase it. You have to live with it for the rest of your life."

She scrunched up her face.

"Sorry, but that's just the way it is."

''Where are you gonna draw it?''

"On my right arm." He smiled and showed her the place.

''You have a big arm.'' She grabbed it with her little hands. Derek chuckled. "I do? That's because I'm so stronggggg."

''How do you get strong?''

"Eat your vegetables and drink your milk." Derek nodded looking very serious.

''Do you think I'm strong?'' She asked innocently. "Yes you're very strong for a little girl." He tried hard not to laugh. She grinned proudly. He smiled, brushing her hair gently. "You're the sweetest thing ever." She gave him a sweet smile, tilting her head. He returned a smile, oh how much she reminded him of her mother. She wrapped her short arms around him. ''I love you daddy!'' He hugged her back tightly. "I love you too princess." She giggled. He held her close to him, not willing to let go.

After a few seconds Justin began to kick his arms and legs in his sleep. He turned to look at his son, smiling as he saw his eyes starting to stir. Addison started to wake up as the little boy accidentally kicked her. This only made Derek smile even wider, Justin cuddled closer to his mother. Addison instinctively wrapped her arms around him. Derek chuckled softly and carried on watching them. Her eyes started to flutter open. Justin apparently had closed his eyes again and he was back asleep. She looked down at her son sleepily, a smile appearing on her face.

"Good morning." Derek whispered.

''Morning.'' She smiled at her husband.

"Hmm, had a good night?"

''Yeah.'' She stretched out her body.

"Good." He smiled, checking her out as she stretched.

''You too?''

"Yeah, had a good dream." He nodded.

''Yeah? Tell me about it.''

"Well we were in high school and I had a crush on you, you were the tall legged sexy girl in the front of the glass. we started dating and during French class you sent me a note, it said..." He teased slightly, not telling the ending.

''It said...'' She ushered him to go on.

"It said Je t'aime" He smiled.

''Hmm just that?'' She smiled as well.

"Well it had this tiny heart drawn on it."

''Aww.''

"My dreams are fluffy."

''Hmm no dirty dreams about me?'' She whispered. He grinned. "We are not talking about those dreams in front of our children. But an answer to you, yes, sometimes." Every night.

''Hmm will you tell me if I tell them to go play in their room?''

"I don't know.. I don't know.." He pretended to think about it. She raised her eyebrow. He grinned. "Just this once."

''Hmm and what happens in those dreams?''

"You really really really want to know?"

''Yes I really really really want to know.''

"Hmmm make the kids leave, then I'll tell you."

She rolled her eyes. ''Hailey baby will you go play with Jussie in your room for a little while?''

Justin and Hailey both got up from the bed and sprinted towards their room, slamming the door close behind them.

''Hmm so?''

"Hmm so...dreams can be crazy, you know that right?"

''Yeah?''

"And you can't control them..."

''Just tell me Der.''

"Promise not to laugh."

''I'll try.''

"Good enough, well few nights ago... in my dream you were... my teacher."

''I was your teacher?'' She raised her eyebrow again.

"You were my teacher, in med school, you weren't actually dressing like you should... stilettos and a miniskirt with some top..."

She couldn't help but chuckle. ''And what happened in that dream of yours?''

"I stayed talking to you after a class, you were writing on the blackboard for the next lesson and I could see a glimpse of your back. Then you turned around and I noticed you had some chalk on your chin so I wiped it off and then you just went all wild and kissed me..." He looked at her. "...pushed me on your desk..."

''Hmm and we did it?''

"And we did it"

''My dirty boy.''

"I am?" He grinned.

''Hmhmm you are.''

"I'm offended Mrs. Shepherd." He acted hurt.

''Oh and how did that happen?''

"I am not a dirty boy." He smirked.

''Hmm you aren't?''

"Well I might be slightly dirty." He pecked her lips.

''Any other dirty dreams?''

"Yes and few embarrassing ones which I'll never tell you."

''Pleeeeeaase!''

"Nooooo!"

''Come on, pretty please.''

"One word. Hammock."

''Hammock?''

"Yes."

''That isn't dirty.''

"What we did there was dirty indeed."

''I have much dirtier dreams.''

"Hmm care to tell me?"

''Perhaps.''

"Hmhmmm, do they include high heels and whips?" He smirked.

''Hmm maybe.''

"Hmhmm? Do they?"

''I said maybe, all I'm saying is they involve a looooot of sex.''

"Hmhmmm, usually they do. Now tell me."

''It's just sex really, everywhere.''

"In airplanes?" He smirked, he had always wanted to do that.

''And underground, train, work, school, cafeteria, beach, bus, chair, pool, car, hospital, garden, rollercoaster, changing cabin etc.''

"Wow... you're horny." He teased with a smirk on his face.

''Whaaat? I just like sex.''

"Do you want to try some of them?" He asked, they weren't such bad ideas.

''Sure.'' She shrugged.

"Okay." He shrugged too.

''Which ones?''

"Umm pool, train, car...? All of the sound tempting, I don't know."

''Not the rollercoaster.'' She laughed.

"Not quite." He chuckled.

''Hmm.'' She pecked his lips.

"Hmmm." He kissed her softly.

''I love you.''

"I love you more."

''Nope you can't.''

"I can and I do."

''Uhuh and what do we do today? Bring the kids to your parents and then go for the tattoo?''

"Sure, sounds good. I told Hailey that I'm getting one."

''Yeah?''

"Yeah, she asked if she could have one too." He chuckled.

Addison chuckled as well. ''Oh and then straight afterwards we'll get their birthday presents?''

"Yes that's a great plan, and then we go pick up the kids."

''Yes, and go back to town where they can pick out a toy, remember?''

"Oh yes right, and then we can come back home and eat."

"Yep."

"Hmm do you think our schedule has time for coffee? I'd like to take you to this nice café."

''Yeah?'' She smiled.

"Yeah, or tea or coke or whatever you want." He gave her a smile.

''Yeah I'm not allowed coffee.'' She smiled back at him.

"What about uhm cocoa?"

''That I can do.''

"Okay, then I'm taking you out for cocoa." He smirked. Addison smiled at him.

"You're cute."

''Why thank you.''

"Welcome." He gave her a sweet smile.

''Hmm we better get up.''

"We should." He didn't make a move.

''Come on lazy ass.'' she got up.

"I don't want to." He brought the covers all the way up to his chin.

''You have to.'' She pulled off the covers. He rolled onto his stomach. "Nooo."

''You're naked!''

"Oh so are you!"

''In your dreams, yeah.'' She had gotten dressed when she woke up early in the morning, she knew her kids too well.

"I don't like you." He got up from the bed.

''Uhuh I'd rather not be naked around the kids.''

"I'm a heavy sleeper, I like to sleep." He went to the closet and pulled on boxers.

''Naked?''

"I fell asleep naked, I didn't wake up early like some people." He looked into the closet, trying to decide what to wear.

''Ya ya, what should I wear?''

"Stilettos and something from Victoria's." He answered casually. She rolled his eyes at him "Over that Derek.''

"I don't know, a dress?" He shrugged as he started to pull on his jeans.

"Which?"

"I don't know, I'm just a guy."

''I'm glad that you are.'' She chuckled.

He let out a laugh and draped his arms around her from behind and pressed a small kiss on her shoulder. "You'll look beautiful in anything, it doesn't matter what you wear."

''Hmm thank you.'' She smiled, throwing her head back to give him an upside down kiss.

"That's what I'm here for." He kissed her tenderly, smiling against her lips a little.

''For what?'' She kept giving him pecks on his lips.

"For everything." He kissed her. "Telling you how beautiful you look." Another kiss. "Kissing you." Kiss, again. "Holding you." His arms wrapped around her tighter. "Loving you." He kissed her again, this time his lips didn't leave hers.

''That's so sweet. I love you so much.''

"I love you too." He smiled softly and gently rubbed his hand against her stomach. She smiled, putting her hand over his. "Hmm." He mumbled against her shoulder, he loved mornings, mornings were their time, they used to be late from all the classes, they just couldn't get enough.

''Do you think my stomach is already a little bloated?'' She asked, looking down where their hands were rested.

"I don't know." He said softly. "I don't think so..."

''Hmm with the twins I was, really quick.''

"Hmhmm." He nodded, he didn't know exactly what to say.

''We had no idea what was going to happen to us.''

He laughed. "We were young, we were totally clueless."

''We didn't even know they were twins.''

"Yeah, but when we found out it were twins... I almost dropped off my chair, you remember that?" He laughed softly.

''Yeah and I didn't say anything for an entire day.'' She chuckled.

"Yeah, I was starting to get worried." He laughed at the sweet memory.

''Hmm I was just so shocked, we just got into med school, we were just married...''

"Yeah and then... out of the blue, you're pregnant."

''Yeah, you and your Supersperm.''

Derek laughed at her. "Wasn't entirely my fault if I re-call correctly"

''It was mostly though.''

"Says the most fertile woman on earth." He placed a kiss on her shoulder.

''I am not the most fertile woman on earth!''

"Hmhmm." He rolled his eyes. "And I'm a squirrel."

''Shut up it's only the second time I'm pregnant.''

"Hmhmm." He pressed another kiss on her neck. "And this is only the second time I got somebody pregnant."

''Well I hope so.''

He gave her a smile. "It is."

''Hmmm.''

"Yeah." He slowly unwrapped his arms.

''But I'd appreciate it if you would try to not get me pregnant again.''

"Ah don't give me any ideas." He grinned

''Don't you dare, seriously you'd get castrated if that would happen.''

His eyes widened. "You're not serious."

''Oh yes I am.''

"You're not." He still looked slightly shocked.

''I am I'm on the pill and I know for a 100 percent that I take it every day and still get pregnant and I don't want 4 or more children.''

He gently pecked her shoulder. "We won't have anymore children."

''Oh and how can you be so sure of that?''

"I can't, I can't control my Supersperm." He rolled his eyes.

''Exactly.''

"God, have a little faith, will you?"

''Why? So I can get pregnant again?''

"Geez honey, calm down." He gave her a smile.

''I don't see the problem in getting a Vasectomy.''

His eyes widened again. "No."

''No?''

"No." He repeated.

''And why not?''

"Because!"

''Yes, because?''

"Because you just can't ask that. No."

''Why can't I?''

"Because! It's my manhood! You're not taking that away from me!"

''Then what if I get pregnant again huh? Of that oh so great manhood of yours.''

"I'm not going to get you pregnant again!"

''How will you know?''

"I'm not going to fight about this now." He lifted his hands in the air and took a shirt from a drawer.

''Oh so am I supposed to get an abortion then if I get pregnant again?''

"I didn't say so." He pulled a shirt over his head.

''Then what huh?''

"Bottom line is, I'm not getting a Vasectomy." He said as he pulled on a pair of socks.

''Then you're going to use condoms.''

He screwed up his face. "I don't like them."

''Well that's not my problem.''

"God Addison, I'm not getting a Vasectomy. No way."

''Then use condoms!'' She started to get changed as well.

"Can you not yell at me, please?" He sighed and sat on the bed.

''No.'' She pulled on a pair of jeans.

"Fine, then be like that." He got up and started to leave the room. "What do you want for breakfast?"

''I don't need breakfast.'' She pulled her top on and finished by putting on a pair of heels.

"You'll regret it later." He said before walking out of the room. She closed her eyes, sighing before she went to her children's room. Derek walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, starting to make sandwiches.

Upstairs Hailey had a hold on Addison's leg and was now hugging it close. "Mommy!"

''Hey baby.'' She stroked Hailey's hair, laughing as Justin held his arms out to be picked up.

"Momma!" Justin grinned as he was being picked up.

''Good morning sweetheart.'' She kissed his cheek. ''Oooh you're getting heavy!''

"I'm a big boy!" Justin felt rather proud about this.

"And I'm strong!" Hailey looked up to her mother.

''Oh you are!'' She smiled, stroking Hailey's cheek.

"I just have to drink my milk and I'll be even stronger! Like daddy!" She said excitedly.

''Yeah almost like daddy.'' Addison laughed. ''Hey babies?'' She lowered herself down to the ground with Justin.

"Yes mommy?" The twins asked in union, blinking their eyes at Addison.

''Do you know what we are going to today?''

They shook their heads and Justin's eyes started sparkling like they always did when he got excited. "What?" He needed to know.

''We're going to go shopping aaaaaaaand.''

Hailey giggled "AND?"

''And you and Jussie can both pick out some presents.''

Their eyes widened in excitement and their minds started racing, toys, what should they pick? "I want a Barbie!" Hailey announced loudly.

''Hmm you can have a Barbie.'' Addison smiled.

"YAY!" Hailey grinned and wrapped her arms around her mother's neck.

"I want a car! Like daddy!"

''You can't have a car honey, not like daddy's.'' She chuckled. ''You can have a play car though?''

"Nooo! One like daddy's!" He pouted.

''You need the be older for that baby and you'll need a licence and they're really expensive.''

"I don't want a play car!" He crossed his arms in front of his chest.

''Then you need to pick out something else.''

He gave his mother a look and pulled back. "I want to be a big boy."

''You are a big boy.'' She sighed, she hated them growing up so fast.

He pouted his lips together for a moment and thought about it. "I want a play car."

''Yeah?'' She stroked his hair.

"One with flames!"

Addison chuckled. ''We can look for one like that.''

Justin grinned and then hugged his mother. "Thanks momma!"

''Anything for you sweetheart.'' She hugged him back tightly. Justin only hugged her tighter but soon the smell of fresh coffee made him pull back and scrunch up his face. "Something's burning."

''Daddy is making breakfast.'' Addison rolled her eyes.

"Oh." Hailey smiled and left with such a rush that she almost fell over.

''Hey, hey, hey.'' Addison grabbed her daughter. ''Where are you going?''

"To daddy." She said confused, trying to escape.

''You are not going down the stairs alone.'' As long as you still waggle like a penguin on thin ice she added jokingly in her mind. Hailey tapped her foot to the floor frustrated while pouting her lips. "Pleeeeease."

''Noooooo.''

"Mommyyyyyyyy." She batted her eyelashes.

''Yes honey?''

The little girl pounded her feet to the floor. "Pleaaaaaaaase!"

''Just wait, have some patience.'' She got up. Hailey looked at her mother. She had as much patience as a little girl on Christmas day. She picked up Justin as well for Hailey. Gosh this wasn't something she was gonna be able to do after a few months. Hailey smiled excitedly and wrapped her arms around her mother's neck. Justin held onto his mother's shirt, grinning widely as they reached the stairs. Addison carefully carried them down the stairs.

"Shoe!" Derek yelped and soon they heard the sink being used. "Dirty, old, bad, bad sock!"

Addison frowned her eyebrows as she walked into the kitchen where her husband was heard.

"Stinky, old hippo!" He mumbled as he kept the finger under the cold water, not realising he had an audience.

''What the hell are you doing?''

Derek turned towards the sound of the voice. "I burned my finger." He quickly explained.

''I see.'' She lowered the twins down to the ground.

"Yeah." He mumbled quietly as he held the finger under cold water. "How can I burn my finger, with coffee?"

''It's hot, hot things burn you, rise it for a few minutes.'' She said, already walking over to the medicine cabin.

"I knew that." Well duh, he was in med school!

She ignored his comment, getting a band-aid. Derek turned off the water and waited for the band-aid patiently. She softly dried off his finger and put the band-aid on. "Thank you." He gave her a small smile, knowing she wasn't going to kiss away the pain. Not today. ''Welcome.'' She forced a smile on her face, knowing they weren't okay. He nodded slowly and went back to his 'cooking', sandwiches and coffee. Wow, he should be a chef. Addison sat down on the kitchen chair, watching her twins play. He poured himself a cup of coffee and sat on a chair next to Addison. She sighed and looked at him. He looked back to her, taking a sip of the coffee.

''Derek, about the tattoo...''

"Yes?" He asked, giving her his whole attention.

''If I were you I'd...I'd think about it.''

"Yeah?" He looked slightly disappointed.

''Today is...clearly not the day to do this.'' She sighed.

"Yeah... I think we should talk later." He raised his eyebrows at her.

''Why can't we talk now?''

"Do you want to talk now?"

Addison shrugged.

"We can if you want to."

''Okay.''

"You wanna talk here or somewhere more private?" He sighed.

''We could talk in the living room.''

"Okay." He got up from the chair and looked at the kitchen once more as he made sure no sharp objects were left on the counter or anywhere where kids could take them.

''Behave, mommy and daddy need to talk.'' She kissed the top of their heads.

"We'll be right back." Derek did the same before he left the room with Addison.

They both sat down on the couch in the living room.

"So..." Derek moved uncomfortably.

''Yeah...''

"You really want me to...?"

''To what?''

He sighed. "To get a Vasectomy? I won't, I won't do that."

''No...I don't know but I don't want to get a fourth baby either...''

"Well neither do I." Now anyway.

''And it's either me being incredibly fertile or you having really strong sperm, I don't know but I'm on the pill and still got pregnant, again.''

"Yep, just our luck." He forced a smile on his face, this wasn't fun at all.

''And a third child I can barely handle but a fourth?''

"Shhh... calm down please, will you?" He took her hand in his in order to make her stop the yelling.

''I just, I can't.'' She shook her head. ''I'm so scared.''

"Come closer?" He softly brushed her hand with his. She shifted closer to him. He wrapped his arms around her, he had no idea that she felt like this. "It'll be okay."

''It won't be, I can't handle another child.''

"We can do this, this one will be normal." A gentle laugh escaped, referring to their conversation yesterday. She shook her head.

"We can do it." He reassured.

''No, I can't.''

"Yes. You. Can. I'm here with you, holding you, helping you every step of the way." He held her close to his chest.

''We're too young.''

"We've done this before, we can do this."

''I don't know...''

"We will, we have to."

''But what if we can't?''

"We can, I'm sure, I promise you."

''What about school?''

"I can stay home few days a week, I can get the notes. I can be with you though this all."

''I'm hardly even going to school now.''

"True." He nodded. "Do you want to drop out?"

''No...''

"Then we can find a way to make it work."

"I'm not sure."  
"Look whatever you decide, I'm okay with it. I love you, I just want you to be happy and if that doesn't include a career as a doctor, then fine. I'm okay with it, that's not why I married you."

''I know but I have my dreams too...''

"Yeah, you want to tell me?"

''Well I want to be a surgeon but...'' She shook her head.

"Yeah, that's your dream...you can still be one."

''How?''

He closed his eyes. "Come to school few days a week and take the notes, you're a genius, you can do this."

''They won't accept me for internship.''

"Because you have kids?"

''Yeah.''

He shook his head. "They'll go through the stack of papers and pick the best. You ARE the best."

''I can't even be there all the time.''

"You get the notes."

''Honey you need to be there, practice, see it, that is what internship is about.''

"Well there is always one option..." Derek started. "Kindergarten."

''No, no.'' She shook her head immediately.

"And why not?"

''I'm not putting them into kindergarten.''

"Hmm okay." He shrugged.

''Maybe...maybe I should try finish med school and start internship when the kids are older?''

He nodded. "That sounds good, even great." A small smile lingered on his lips for a while.

''I just hope that will work out some way...''

He nodded. "I hope so too."

''Yeah...''

"Hmhmm, feeling any better?" He slowly brushed her arm.

''Yeah but we still haven't solved the baby thing...''

"Yeah, we should."

''Hmmm.''

"What will we do about it?"

''I'm already on the pill.''

"But apparently it's not working."

''Yeah...''

"Uhm..."

''What?''

"I don't know, but hey we have over 9 months to figure it out."

''That's not enough, we have to talk about it now.''

"Okay, then start giving options."

''Condoms.''

"I still don't like that idea."

''Why not?''

"As stupid as it sounds I don't want to make love to you though a stupid piece of plastic."

She rolled her eyes. ''It's not like that.''

"Well still I just don't like it."

''Well what are the other options?''

"There aren't any."

''Really?''

"I don't think there are, pills won't work and the others are just...disgusting. So condoms it is."

''Why won't you take the vasectomy?''

"Because I'm a man."

''So?''

"It'd make me less man"

''How?''

"It just does okay?"

''No, explain.''

"No, it's stupid and I won't."

''Please.''

"I'd be sterile, I wouldn't be able to have anymore children, I'd be... dry." He shrugged.

''And that's exactly what we are after.''

"God Addison, what if you suddenly want to have a baby when we're 30?"

''I don't want a fourth baby!''

"I don't want to be sterile!"

''Why not?''

"Because!"

''Because what?''

"It'd take away my manhood!"

''How?''

"It just would!"

''It's not like you won't have your penis or balls anymore!''

"Still! I would just feel like it's no use anymore, that I'm dry and boring and stupid. I can't help it."

''You are not boring and stupid in bed!''

"I'd feel like that!"

''Why?''

"I just would!"

''Fine then don't get a Vasectomy, jesus!''

He sighed and shook his head. She crossed her arms. He turned to look at her again. "I don't want to."

''You don't want to what?''

"But I would, for you."

''You don't have to.'' She sighed.

He sighed as well and moved on the seat.

''We just...we'll see what we'll do okay?''

"Okay." He nodded. "Make-up-kiss?" He looked at her and his eyes softened.

''Yeah.'' She smiled a little. He returned her a small smile before leaning forward. She gave him a soft kiss. He slowly kissed her back. She placed her hands on his cheeks. He smiled against her lips and pulled her closer to him.

''I love you.'' She mumbled against his lips.

"I love you too" He pulled back a little so that she could hear the words clearly. She smiled at him. He smiled back at her and they were soon interrupted by Justin who was holding up a remote. "Spongebob!"

''Hey hey hey, ask that first.''

"Can I watch Spongebob?" The little boy asked innocently.

''No we are going to have breakfast.''

"But mommy Patrick and Spongebob can't wait!" The boy looked serious.

''Well breakfast can't either.'' She smiled, picking him up. ''We're going out soon.''

"Yeah and then you can pick new toys." Derek smiled at his son and walked into the kitchen.

"OH!" Justin grinned and dropped the remote to the couch. Addison gave him a kiss. ''You still want that play car?''

He shook his head. "Tarzan action figure!"

''You want that now?''

Justin nodded excitedly before looking confused. "No, I want the play car!"

''You have to decide honey.''

He looked at his mother and his bottom lip began to quiver. "Can't I have both?"

''Honey that won't be fair towards Hailey.''

"But..." He looked at his mother with puppy-eyes.

''And hey your birthday is coming up soon, maybe you'll get it then.'' She remembered Theresa always calling her up to find out what her grandchildren wanted.

"I will?" Justin smiled widely and his bottom lip stopped quivering. "YAY!"

''Maybe honey.'' Addison laughed. Justin carried on smiling and he could already imagine all the presents.

''And do you know hold old you'll be?'' She kissed the top of his head as Hailey walked inside with her stuffed bunny.

"Daddy said I'd be three!" Justin held up five fingers, grinning proudly.

"That's not three!" Hailey looked at her brother and abandoned the bunny on the floor, holding up four fingers.

''That's not either.'' Addison laughed. ''This is three.'' She held up three fingers.

Justin wrinkled his nose and shook his head. "I don't think so mommy."

''It is, want to count them together?''

Justin nodded eagerly and Hailey looked up to her mother, her eyes wide open due to the excitement.

''One.'' She pointed at the first finger, her index finger.

Justin held up his finger and repeated what his mother had said. "One."

"ONE!" Hailey grinned and showed her finger to Addison.

''Yes.'' Addison chuckled. ''And this is two.''

"TWO!" Now it was Justin who yelled and showed the two fingers to Hailey.

"Twooo!" Hailey pressed her fingers against her twin's. Addison shook her head laughing. ''That's how old you are now.''

"We're two!" Hailey smiled widely. Derek leaned against the doorframe, watching his family interact.

''Hmhmm and how much older do you get every year?''

"Umm... a year?" Justin guessed, tilting his head to the side.

''Yes, very good. Do you know how much more fingers that are every year?''

The children shook their heads in union. "Nooo."

''One.''

"Oh, that makes sense!" Hailey smiled broadly and held up one three fingers.

"THREE!" Justin held up three fingers.

''Yes! Very good!''

"YAY!" Hailey grinned and Derek chuckled softly at the door.

''Hmm you're going to be my big boy and my big girl.''

It was Justin's turn to grin. "I already am a big boy!"

''You are.'' Addison smiled, cuddling him against her. Derek laughed softly and walked towards the couch. She gave the little boy a kiss. Derek captured Hailey and sat to the couch with her on his lap.

The doorbell rang. Derek looked at Addison, tilting his head. "Please?" Addison rolled her eyes, picking Justin up as she walked towards the door. "Thank you!" He called behind her, falling on his back with his little girl. She opened the front door. Theresa Shepherd greeted her daughter-in-law with a smile.

''Hey mom.'' Addison smiled widely.

"Hey Addie, can I come in?"

''Of course.'' She stepped aside.

"Thanks, and sorry about... last night." She said, blushing slightly as she stepped into the house.

''Hey I'm happy for you.'' She chuckled. Theresa let out a laugh. "Well thanks I guess, I just hope you didn't see anything."

''I didn't, your son did.''

"Oh god, please tell me you're kidding me."

''Sorry, I'm not.''

"Really?" She buried her face to her hands.

''Hmhmm but I have news you're going to like even less."

"Do I even want to hear?"

''You will find out eventually.''

She raised her eyebrows. "What will we find out?"

''Guess what your son is getting.''

"What is my son getting?" Theresa looked at her confused.

''A tattoo.''

"Excuse me?" Theresa looked at Addison shocked.

''I'm serious.''

"Wow... what is he going to get?"

''My name...''

"Oh really?" Theresa crossed her arms in front of her chest, of course this was great for them but still... tattoo was... well permanent.

''Mhm.''

"Where is he taking it?"

"Upper arm."

"Oh… isn't that kinda… showing?"

''What do you mean?''

"No, nothing, I just... how big is it going to be?"

Addison shrugged.

"Hmm okay."

''You're not pleased with the idea are you?''

"Not really, but sounds like you two are going steady again, since he's getting your name written on his skin, so that's good. I guess."

''You could come.''

"Oh I don't think so" In her mind, tattooing places were small and full of smoke with tattooed chicks and guys with piercings walking around, listening to punk.

''Okay anyway I wanted to call you. We're going to take the kids shopping first, maybe you could come with us and then go home with the kids?''

"Sounds like a good plan. When would you pick them up?"

''Uhm tonight, at dinner perhaps?''

"Okay, sounds great, you can eat with us if you want to."

''You sure?''

"Yeah…"

''Okay then.''

"Okay, good, well umm I hope I didn't interrupt anything."

''No why?'' She asked confused.

"No nothing, you could have been at breakfast or something."

''You're never interrupting.''

"Good, good. I just didn't call before I came so yeah. I could have interrupted."

''Nope, wanna come in?''

"Sure." Theresa smiled warmly and stepped inside the house. Addison closed the door. Theresa took off her coat and stepped further into the house.

''Grandma is here.''

"Nanna!" Hailey smiled and got off of her father who was laying on the couch.

''Hey sweetheart.'' Theresa smiled at her granddaughter.

"You're here!" Justin grinned widely and hugged Theresa's leg.

''Yes.'' She laughed, stroking his hair. Hailey threw her arms around the other, free leg and hugged it tight. "We're getting new toys!"

''Are you? Wow!''

"YES! I'm getting a Barbie!"

"Hails has many Barbie's!" Justin nodded and tugged at the leg of Theresa's pants to make her look at him.

''And what are you getting Justin?''

"A play car! With flames! Woo!"

''Wow, that's very cool Justin!''

"Yeah!" Justin nodded. "It's a big boy's car!"

''Oh it is.'' She laughed, hugging the both of them.

"My Barbie is pretty! It has white hair!"

''And what kind Barbie would that be?''

"Ummm..." She thought for a moment. "A Barbie!"

Theresa laughed. Hailey smiled widely. "It's a pretty Barbie!"

''I bet!''

"But my car is hot!" Justin grinned, not realising what he had just said, he had meant that the flames were hot.

''What?'' She looked at him with big eyes.

"YEAH! IT'S HOT!" The little boy said louder, everyone could hear him. Addison, who sat on the couch next to her husband raised her eyebrows.

"Wow mom, what did you teach him?" Derek tried hard not to laugh, this wasn't funny…not funny…yeah right and I'm George Bush.

''I didn't say anything!''

A small laugh left Derek's lips. Then Justin grinned. "The flames are hot, you know? When you touch them? And then you can get burned! Mommy told me not to play with fire! But I can play with play cars that have flames! How cool is that?"

''Come here little squirt.'' Addison laughed. Justin smiled and ran to his mother, holding out his arms. She laughed and caught him in her arms.

"Mommy!" Justin grinned and wrapped his arms around her neck while Hailey ran to Derek.

''Hey sweetheart.''

Justin smiled. "My play car is hot."

''Don't say hot honey.''

"Why not?" He furrowed his eyebrows together.

''It's weird to say that.''

"Why?" He made a face.

''It just is sweetie.''

"Oh..." He shrugged. She gave him a kiss. Justin grinned and sat on his mother's lap, facing the TV.

''Shall we have lunch at the mall?''

"Sure, sounds yummy." Derek smiled and held Hailey close to his chest.

''You okay with that mom?'' Addison asked.

"Yeah, sure." Theresa smiled and sat on a armchair close to the couch.

''Great.'' Addison looked at Derek. ''I have to call the doctor's soon for an ultra sound."

"Yep, but it's only like... what? Three weeks."

''Yeah...''

"But we need to know everything's okay." Derek made a soft smile, linking his fingers with hers.

''Yeah, I need to know everything is alright with him or her.''

"Everything is okay with her or him, it's all going to be okay"

''I hope so.''

Theresa listened closely to their conversation, playing with her fingers. "So, who know about this pregnancy?"

''Uhm us, the twins, my parents, you and Gabriel. Why?''

"No reason, just thinking who I can talk to this about safely." Theresa made a smile.

''Well it's not a secret or anything, it's just really soon.''

"Okay, well.. good." She smiled again, starting to play with her wedding ring. Addison placed her hand on her stomach. Derek smiled at her actions, gently stroking Hailey's hair. "Why don't we go get some breakfast?"

''Sounds like a good idea, I'll make some.''

"Thanks honey, kiss?" He raised his eyebrows. Addison smiled, softly kissing his lips.

He kissed her back for a short moment. "Now you're free to go."

''Why thank you.'' She went into the kitchen. Derek checked out her behind as she left.

''So...'' Theresa started. Derek returned his gaze back to his mother. "So..."

''You're getting a tattoo.''

"Yeah upper arm, Addison told you?"

''Mhm.''

"What do you think about it?"

''Well...have you thought about it?''

"Yeah..." For 8 hours.

''And you're sure?''

"Yeah, I want this." He nodded.

''They can be really tacky.''

"This won't, it's her name mom. It can't be tacky."

''Yes it can be.''

"It won't be tacky, I'll make sure."

''Good, just remember this is permanent.''

"It is permanent, it'll be in my arm forever, like she'll be by my side."

''I just don't get why you want this.''

"Because it's a tattoo mom, it's her name, written on me, forever, I can't explain it."

''But she knows you love her.''

"Yeah she does, so?"

She threw her hands up in the air. ''I don't get it but it's your choice and I expect you to be wise enough to make it.''

"Thank you, I am smart enough. I'm doing this."

She nodded. ''And this may be random but I want to let you know I'm proud of you. I'm proud of how you are running this household and manage to combine your children, marriage and school with each other. I've had my doubts every once in a while because you got children at a fairly young age but you always thought me I was worrying for nothing. You're a great father and I'm proud to be your mother.''

He looked at her with his mouth hanging slightly open, "You're proud of me?" He asked in a whisper, a smile creeping his face. Her words meant so much to him, he had doubts, sometimes. He doubted his fathering-skills, his school, everything. He was insecure about everything but his love for his family.

''I'm incredibly proud of you, as well for Addison.''

"Thank you, this means so much to me." Another smile tugged his lips.

''You've got no one to thank this for then yourself.'' Theresa smiled at her son.

"No, you raised me, you raised me well, you raised me to be the person I am today. I'm grateful for that, thank you."

''I'm proud of being your mother and I hope your children will turn out just like you and Addison.''

"Yeah, me too…Addison is amazing, she's beautiful, she's talented, she has a great persona. She can be stubborn from time to time but it doesn't matter. She's forgiving, she's perfect combination of everything. Sometimes I wonder if I even deserve her, you know?"

''You two are meant for each other.''

"Yeah, she's mine, I'm hers, we're in love"

''I know you are.'' Theresa smiled.

"Yeah I guess it's kinda obvious." Derek said, smiling back to his mother.

''It is.'' She chuckled. ''I'm happy for you.''

"Thanks mom, I'm glad that you are." His eyes sparkled with happiness.

''Daddy when is the new baby coming?'' Hailey asked suddenly.

"In eight months princess." Derek smiled and brushed his baby girl's hair.

"She doesn't have a name yet, she'll be named once she's born sweetie." The truth was that they already had a name picked out.

''Oh.''

"Yeah" Derek smiled. "Hails, sweetie, mommy must be ready with breakfast, why don't you go check if she made something for you."

''Okay!'' She jumped off of her father's lap and wobbly ran into the kitchen.

"Careful!" Derek called behind her, knowing this wouldn't make any difference, she was Hailey. No way she'd stop running. Addison turned around when she heard little steps excitedly running into the kitchen.

"Mommy mommy! Food?" Hailey grinned and threw her arms around Addison's legs powerfully.

''I'm making it sweetie.'' Addison laughed.

Hailey blinked her eyes. "But I'm hungry **now.** "

''Have some patience.''

Hailey nodded eagerly. "I'm patient!"

''Wanna help mommy?''

"YES!" Hailey was basically jumping up and down.

''Okay.'' She laughed, picking up the energetic toddler. Hailey wrapped her arms around her mother. "What can I do?"

''Uhm you can fill the glasses if you're careful.''

"Really?" The little girl asked excitedly with a smile on her face.

''Yep.'' She chuckled, walking towards the fridge with the little girl.

"Wow..." Hailey said quietly, no doubt she had learned that word today from Milla. She usually got all obsessed with some words and this... this was going to be one of them. She pecked her daughter's cheek as she got out a carton.

Hailey bit on her lip excitedly, this was a huge thing for a two, almost three, year old. She put it on the counter, getting out 5 glasses.

"Can I now, can I?" She smiled excitedly.

''Yes but be careful okay.''

"Okay!" The two year old grabbed the carton from the table with both hands. Addison held the glass for her to fill. Slowly, carefully the girl filled the glass so that it was full, as in if Addison would make a move she'd spill it to the floor. Addison looked at her daughter, chuckling softly as she saw the tip of her tongue in the corner of her mouth in concentration.

"Mommy...it's too full." The little girl said concerned, looking at the glass.

''That's okay, just don't fill the next one as high.''

The girl nodded, then smiled. "Next glass!"

Addison chuckled, getting the next glass.

"Thank you mommy." Hailey started to fill the glass, focusing on it. She watched her daughter. The girl filled the second glass, the surface wasn't so high this time. ''Good girl.'' Hailey grinned widely and nodded. "I'm the best." That line, that was line was clearly from Derek. Addison laughed loudly at that. Hailey smiled widely. "Glass." She said like she was asking for a scalpel in a surgery. Addison gave held a new glass for her, an amused smile on her face.

"Steady mommy, steady." Hailey rolled her eyes, her mom's hand was shaking due to the soft laughing.

''I aaaaam.'' She chuckled.

"No you're not." Hailey shook her head and sighed but filled the glass.

''Cheeky.''

Hailey furrowed her eyebrows together at this new word. "Umm."

''Hmm?'' She put the glass back down.

"What does that mean?" Hailey wrinkled her nose in thought. Nope, she had no idea.

''Nothing honey.'' She laughed. Hailey rolled her eyes. "Then you shouldn't have said it."

''Hey not such a potty mouth Hailey.''

Hailey looked at her mother, shrugging her shoulders.

''I mean it.''

"Okay." Hailey wasn't smiling anymore. She pecked her cheek.

A smile tugged the corner of her mouth. "Glass." There it was, the surgeon's attitude.

''Ask nicely.''

"Mommy, could you hold the glass?"

''Yes.'' She held the glass for her. Once again the glass was filled by Hailey. She put the glass down and picked up another. Hailey focused on the last glass, slowly, carefully she filled it. "THERE!"

''Hmm very good.''

Hailey smiled and placed the carton on the counter. "Wow."

''Wow?''

"Wow." The girl grinned. "I filled all the glasses!"

''You did!'' Addison smiled. ''Hey bug can you one more thing for mommy?''

Hailey nodded excitedly. "Yes mommy?"

''Can you go tell daddy, grams and Jussie that breakfast is ready?''

"YES!" Hailey smiled and impatiently waited to be placed on the floor so that she could run to the living room. Addison put her down.


	9. Grandparents, Shopping and Needles

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 9 – Grandparents, Shopping and Needles_

_It's just too little too late  
A little too wrong  
And I can't wait.  
Boy you know all the right things to say  
You know it's just too little too late  
You say you dream of my face  
But you don't like me  
You just like the chase  
To be real, it doesn't matter anyway  
You know it's just too little too late_

_Go find someone else  
In letting you go, I'm lovin myself_

_I can love with all of my heart baby  
I know I have so much to give_

Few hours later the Shepherds (Not including Gabriel who was at work) were walking down a hall at the mall. "Hmm where to?" Derek looked at Addison and gave her hand a light squeeze.

''Hmm a toy store.'' Addison smiled.

"There are millions of them, pick one." Derek chuckled.

''I don't know, which ever we pass.''

"Ah, the closest one, yay." Derek smiled, he didn't like shopping at all, which was obvious, it was the guy-thing.

''Shush.''

He let out a laugh. "You don't want me to."

''I do too.'' She pushed the stroller.

"Do not, you like my voice." Derek grinned widely and pressed a kiss on her cheek. "Ah there's a toy store!" He smiled.

''Let's go in.''

"Sure." Derek smiled and they stepped into the store, there was some music playing, very cheerful, very happy. Theresa stepped in right after them.

''Hailey look!'' Justin excitedly chirped, pointing to several toys in the store.

"There are Barbie's! And cars! And teddy bears!" Hailey yelped, all smile from ear to ear. Addison smiled at Derek as she listened to their twins.

"This was a great idea." Derek placed a small, gentle kiss on Addison's lips.

''Mhm I rock.''

"You do, you're the best."

''I am.'' She laughed, looking at Theresa who was talking to the kids.

"Jussie honey, you have to wait for a moment, then we can go look for your car."

''How about we split up in groups?''

"Another great idea." Derek grinned. "I'll take Jussie."

''Good then me and mom will go Barbie shopping with Bug.''

"Sounds like a good plan." Derek smiled. "Men and women."

''Mhm.'' She walked in front of the stroller, getting both kids, who were nearly jumping out of it, out.

Derek grinned widely at Justin who was basically jumping up and down. "Let's go look for your play car."

''Yay!'' He yelled. Derek chuckled. "With flames." Derek added. He offered his hand for the little boy, starting to walk towards the direction of the play cars.

''So, we better go looking for Barbies.''

Hailey grinned excitedly. "A pretty Barbie!"

''Oh yes.''

"Where are they?" Hailey looked around, raising on her toes.

''At the dolls department.''

Theresa looked around, spotting something. "There." She smiled and picked up Hailey, pointing at the direction. "There are the Barbies." And then set her down.

They walked towards the Barbies, Hailey pulling at her mother's hand to go faster.

"Mommy fasterrr." The little girl exclaimed.

''Mommy can't go faster sweetie.''

"Nana?" The little girl looked at Theresa, capturing her hand in her own. "Can you go faster?"

''No honey.'' Theresa laughed.

"You're both slow." The little girl pouted her lips, still trying to walk faster.

''The Barbies won't walk away.''

"But this is exciting!"

''I know it is Cupcake."

Hailey again fastened her steps before they reached the Barbies, she looked up to them in awe.

''Want me to lift you up?''

"Yeees!" Hailey lifted up her arms to be picked up. Addison laughed and picked her daughter up. Theresa scanned the Barbies while Hailey did the same, looking at each one of them closely.

''What about this one?'' She pointed at a mermaid Barbie.

"That's so pretty!" Hailey beamed and grabbed it.

''Yeah do you like that one honey?''

Hailey nodded excitedly. "It's such a beautiful Barbie." Theresa smiled.

''Do you want this one?''

Hailey nodded excitedly. "It can have a tea party with Princess Theresa!"

''Hmhmm.'' Addison smiled, grabbing another box. ''What do you think of this?'' She showed the box to her daughter which contained a Barbie Paradise that went along with the mermaid Barbie.

"Mommy, please please please can I have it too?" Hailey stuck the mermaid Barbie to Theresa and hugged her mother tightly. "Pleeeeeeease?"

''You can, because you're such a sweet girl.''

"YAY!" She smiled widely and kissed Addison's cheek. Addison smiled, hugging her little girl.

"I love you mommy." Hailey smiled happily and hugged her mother tightly, as tightly as she could. ''I love you too baby.'' Theresa smiled at the sight, holding both of the boxes now. She didn't want to interrupt them. Addison hugged her closely, rubbing her small back. Hailey's breath tickled Addison's neck, she smiled softly at her mother as she pulled back. "Thank you mommy."

''You're welcome sweetheart, now give Nana a kiss too.''

Theresa smiled at the attention she was getting as Hailey wrapped her arms around her neck. "Hey bug..." She smiled as she held her granddaughter.

Addison took the boxes, smiling at the two.

The little girl pecked Theresa's lips, making a sound. Hailey giggled and Theresa chuckled softly. ''Shall we go look for daddy and Jussie?'' Hailey nodded excitedly, spotting a black haired man at the other side of the store. "DADDY!" Addison laughed as they walked towards them. Derek was looking at the cars amazed, there was still a little kid inside of him. "Wouldn't this one be cool?" He showed a black one with a red stripe on the bonnet to his son.

''That one looks good.'' Someone wrapped her arms around his waist from behind. He shivered, turning his head to look at her. "Hello stranger..."

"She's not a stranger, she's mommy!" Hailey grinned. Addison laughed a little, kissing her husband's neck. He let out a warm laugh and looked at the car in his hands, trying to ignore her kisses. Her hand sneaked under his shirt, running her fingers over his muscled stomach. A light gasp left his lips as he tried to ignore this the best that he could. He placed the car back where it belong.

''Finding one?''

"Yeah we found one, just what he wanted, right Jussie?" Derek smiled at the little boy, ignoring his wife's wandering hands.

''Yes, and it has flames and I can ride in it!''

Derek chuckled. "Yeah you can sweetie."

Addison smiled, her hand slipping in his jeans just below his belt. He bit on his lip and took a deep breath. Oh. dear. god.

''Mom could you look around with the kids a little more to see what else is here?'' Addison asked sneakily. A grin tugged his lips. "Yeah, you could look around and see if you find something nice..."

"That's okay with me." Theresa was playing with Hailey, completely unaware of the scene these two were making. ''Thanks.'' Addison moved her hand even lower when they left.

A gasp left his lips. "You are a sneaky woman, Addison."

''Oh am I?'' She grinned, not moving her hand.

"Yes you are, now I suggest you move that hand away, from there." He tried not to moan.

''Why?'' She unbuckled his belt so she had more space.

"Addison..." He warned her before turning around to face her.

''Babyyyy.'' She pouted.

"Hmmm?" He smirked, pressing a kiss on her lips.

''Turn around.''

"You are baddd." He grinned before he turned around. She grinned, moving her hand lower in his boxers so she took hold of him. A half gasp, half moan left his lips as he immediately hardened in her hand. She smirked against his shoulder, starting to stroke him.

"Okay.. Addison you can't do that here..." He mumbled, biting on the insides of his cheeks, trying not to moan once again, few small moans leaving his lips.

''Hmm why not?''

"Because... it's inappropriate..." Another light moan escaped.

''No one knows.'' She ran her thumb over his tip. He bit on his lip. "Righttt."

She started to move her hand up and down.

"Oh dear god." A small moan passed his lips again. She kissed his neck, not stopping what she was doing.

"Addison we can't here..." He let out another moan though he was fighting to keep them down.

''No one will know.'' She whispered. ''They can't see.''

"Naughty." He commented at her, focusing on the miracles her fingers were doing to him. She kept pumping him in her hand.

After a moment he felt his head becoming cloudy and his knees starting to feel weak. ''Close?'' She breathed. He nodded quickly, his eyes closed as a moan left his lips, he was on the edge.

''This is gonna be messy.'' She chuckled, moving her hand faster.

"You are a horrible woman." He mumbled, biting on his lip as he was shoved over the edge. She grinned against his skin as he came, kissing his jaw.

"Oh god..." He mumbled afterwards, slowly opening his eyes, his legs felt like jello.

''Hmm I love you.''

"Hmm I love you more..." He murmured once again, slowly turning his head to kiss her. She removed her hand from his jeans.

"You are a naughty woman Addison Shepherd" He kissed her again, buckling his belt.

''Got a problem with that?'' She kissed his lips.

"Not at all, I love it." He smirked against her lips. "Now... how could I pay back for what you just did?"

''You can't.'' She grinned.

"I believe I can." He gave her a puppy look. "Once we get back home."

''Mhm.'' She took his hand. ''Let's find mom.''

"Wait... I can't walk, really, it'd look weird, let's just.. wait for a moment."

She rolled her eyes, laughing.

"Shut up, your fault." He smiled, it was entirely her fault.

''Everything...sticky down there?''

"Uhm yes." He rolled his eyes. "And plus my legs are all jello."

''My poor baby.''

Derek gave her a look before pecking her lips. "So let's just... wait for a moment."

''So Jussie is getting this one?''

"Yeah." He smiled gratefully that she had dropped the subject.

''It's big.''

"Well yeah but... he's a big boy."

"He could ride Hailey around in it.''

"I bet he'd like that." Derek smiled softly.

''Yeah.'' Addison chuckled.

"God, we're spoiling them."

''They deserve it.''

"They do, they're good kids." Derek shifted, testing his limits.

''They are.''

He smiled softly again. "Shall we?" Gladly his legs were strong enough to carry him now.

''Yeah.'' She held his hand. ''Oh we're getting Hailey this mermaid Barbie with this Barbie paradise.''

"Sounds..." girly "... good" He linked his fingers with hers as they walked. "But doesn't she already have like million Barbies?"

''She does.''

"Hmhmm."

''I love you.''

"I love you too, very, very much" He placed two soft kisses on her jaw.

She smiled as they found Theresa.

Derek Shepherd stepped into a tattoo shop with his wife, his hand suddenly felt a little sweaty.

''It looks good.'' She looked around, noting there were certificates on the wall.

"Yeah, not one of those places..." He let his gaze wander around the tattoo shop.

''Still sure you want this?''

"Yep." He nodded and soon a tattooist walked towards them.

''How can I help you?'' She asked.

"Um I'm here to get a tattoo." Derek spoke.

''Okay.'' She nodded. ''Do you want a book with pictures to choose from or do you have your own design?''

"Well I'm going to get one saying 'Addison', but I'm not sure about the font yet... nothing usual, something more like her, a simple but beautiful font. Still manly enough though..." He rambled a little.

''I could give you a book with fonts.'' She smiled.

"Yeah? That'd be great, thanks." Derek smiled back to the woman.

''Okay, I'll go get it.''

"Thanks." Derek turned to look at Addison. "I'm getting a tattoo." He said excitedly.

''You are.'' Addison smiled, resting her head against his shoulder.

"Hmm, I'm getting a pretty, manly tattoo." He grinned and pressed a small kiss against her hair. She laughed as the tattooist came back. Derek grinned and then pulled back a little from Addison as the tattooist offered him the book.

''Now choose a font from here and go to the desk when you're done okay?''

"Okay." Derek sat down on a chair, opening the book. Addison sat down next to him. He flipped the page, not finding anything interesting from the first few pages. She leaned her head against him. He placed a kiss on the top of her head, again flipping the page, none of these fonts was good enough for him.

''Hmm this one looks nice.''

"Yeah? I think so too..." Derek smiled and ran his fingers on the page, over the letters.

''How big do you want it?''

"Not too big, but you know... about this size." He showed one of the examples on the book.

''Mhm that looks good.''

"Yeah, we should probably look at the rest of the fonts too, don't you think?" He flipped the page.

''Yeah.'' She nodded.

"Hmhmm.." He looked at the fonts on this page, nope, none of them.

''You know you could also tattoo it on your tush?'' She joked.

"Oh I should" He grinned. "Maybe even a little heart on it too?"

''Mhm.'' She laughed.

"I HEART Addison, wow that'd be cool, right?"

''Hmm better stick with simply Addison.''

"Oh, never mind my other idea then." He sighed dramatically. She laughed, pecking his cheek.

"There goes my 'Addison's property' tattoo." He grinned, pecking her lips. She laughed at him. ''Yeah.''

"Damn, it would have looked good." He chuckled, flipping the page.

''Yeah yeah, now look for a good font.''

"Fine, fine." Derek rolled his eyes and laid his eyes on the fonts, flipping the page again.

A while later they had chosen a font and Derek sat on a chair.

"Okay, I hate needles." Derek took Addison's hand in his.

''Are you kidding me?'' Addison laughed.

"I don't like needles, you know it, shush."

''Are you scared?'' She teased.

"I am not scared!" He gave her a look. "I just don't like needles."

Addison raised her eyebrow at him just as another woman walked into the room.

"I am not scared Addison." Derek rolled his eyes, before looking up to the woman who stepped in.

''Hello I'm Allison.'' The woman smiled and extended her hand.

"Derek." He made a smile and shook her hand quickly. Derek smiled at Allison, and then at Addison, mouthing 'I'm not scared of needles'. 'Uhuh' Addison pulled a face, teasing him.

''So.'' Allison sat down on the chair next to Derek, pulling on gloves. Derek rolled his eyes at Addison, giving her hand a light squeeze before looking at Allison. "Yeah.."

''Have a design?''

"Yeps." Derek nodded, "Addison written in the font uhm... 29 was it?" He turned to look at Addison, furrowing his eyebrows together.

''Yeah.'' She nodded.

"Yep, font 29." Derek smiled. "On my upper arm."

''Okay, where exactly?''

"Umm." Derek would have to remove his shirt. "Here." He showed her the place, a spot on his right arm.

''Okay, could you take your shirt off? We're gonna draw it first with a marker.''

"Uhm sure." Derek started to remove his shirt.

''Thank you.'' Hmm nice chest she noted. Derek made a smile and jokingly placed his shirt around Addison's neck. Addison rolled her eyes and laughed, putting the shirt in her lap.

''So Addison is her name I assume?'' Allison smiled.

"No, it's my other wife's." Derek smirked. "Yeah, it's her name."

''Sweet.''

"Thanks I guess." Derek smiled softly and held Addison's hand in his. She softly stroked her thumb over his hand.

''Right or left arm?''

"Right." Derek gave another smile, before looking at Addison, giving her hand a light squeeze again."

''Okay.'' She picked up a black pen. Derek could only hope that the spot wasn't ticklish. She looked at the font page and started drawing the name on his arm. ''In black?''

"Yeah, in black." Derek nodded quickly.

''Okay.'' She nodded. ''First tattoo?''

"Yep, is it going to hurt?"

''Nah, on the arm not so much, you're muscled so it should be okay.'' She chuckled.

"Okay, good." Derek grinned, wow she noticed I'm muscled…

''So you guys are married?'' She asked, concentrating on his arm.

"Yeah, 4 years now." Derek nodded, looking at what the tattooist was doing.

''Wow. How old are you?'' She frowned, they looked pretty young.

"23." Derek almost shrugged but then realised he couldn't. "And yeah I know we're young."

''Nah that's cool, just surprising.''

"Yeah?" Derek smiled softly, the spot was ticklish after all.

''Mhm.''

If only she knew they had twins and third one on the way... Derek thought, holding back a smirk.

''Okay, I'm done drawing it.'' She grabbed a mirror and showed it. ''Tell me if there are any changes you want to make or if you want another fond or size.''

"Hmm it looks good, Addie, what do you think?" Derek turned to look at Addison who had stayed surprisingly quiet. She stood up and looked over his shoulder into mirror. ''Yeah that looks great.''

"Yeah?" He smiled and pecked her lips.

''Mhm.''

"Good, here we go then.."

She sat back down on the chair. Derek nodded and took a deep breath. "Yeah, that's what I want." He smiled at his soon-to-be-tattoo.

''Okay.'' She gave him a smile. ''I'll be right back then.''

"Okay." Derek nodded his head and turned to Addison's direction. She looked at him. Derek made a smile before pecking her lips. She rubbed her stomach. Another smile graced his lips as he saw what she was doing. ''Derek I don't feel well.''

"What? Oh don't tell me the morning sickness is kicking in now." He tilted his head to the side. Great timing. She nodded her head, letting out deep breaths. Derek got up from the chair. "I'll ask if there's a restroom here, or a bucket, or something."

''No.'' She shook her head. ''I don't have to throw up I just don't feel well.''

"Honey, are you sure?" He sat back down, brushing her hand with his.

''Yeah.'' She gave him a reassuring smile. He held her hand in his, giving it a light kiss.

Allison walked back in.

"Oh joy, needles."

''I need some water.'' Addison closed her eyes.

"Allison, right? Could you give her some water? The morning sickness is kicking in."

''Morning sickness?'' She frowned.

"Yeah she's pregnant, can you get her some water."

''Pregnant?'' Her eyes lit up. ''Wow, congrats.''

"Thanks, it isn't the first time though. You really might want to give her some water before she vomits on this pretty carpet."

''Uh yeah.'' She went out of the room.

"That was a joyride.." Derek commented, letting his hand brush her arm.

''Not funny.''

"Not fun." He nodded, brushing Addison's cheek with his thumb.

''Oh I'm gonna laugh when that needle is scratching in your skin.''

"Honey I didn't mean anything with my comment. Okay?" He tucked some hair behind her ear.

''I know.''

"Good, good." He placed a tiny kiss on her nose. She smiled. ''I'm still gonna laugh though.'' She said as Allison returned.

"Evil woman." Derek gave her a smile, taking the glass from Allison. "Thank you."

''Welcome.'' She smiled and sat back down. Derek gave the glass to Addison and smiled, leaning back against the chair.

''How long are you pregnant?''

"Almost 4 weeks." Derek answered for Addison, giving the tattooist a smile.

''That's great.''

"Yeah, it is." He gave Addison's hand another squeeze.

''We have two more kids.'' Addison smiled.

''Seriously?''

Derek tried not to laugh at Allison's expression. "Twins."

"Wow…"

"Hmhmm." Derek nodded.

''How old?''

"Hailey and Justin are turning three in few weeks."

''Aww.''

"Yeah, they're amazing. What about you? Any kids?"

''No.'' She shook her head, pulling on new gloves.

"Okay." Derek nodded, looking at the soon-to-be-tattoo on his arm one last time, soon it'd be permanent.

''So I'm gonna ask this one last time. You sure?''

"Yes, I'm sure." Derek nodded.

''Okay.'' She picked up the tattoo machine and started changing the needle.

"Yeah." Derek turned to look at Addison. "Don't you dare to laugh."

Addison captured her bottom lip as not to laugh. ''Wanna hold my hand?''

"Nooo I'm not a baby!"

She rolled her eyes, watching as Allison finished and sat back down on the chair next to Derek. Derek gave her a smile and took a deep breath. "You sure it won't hurt?"

''I hope for you it doesn't.''

"Great." Derek rolled his eyes and took another breath.

''Ready?''

"Yep, ready." Derek nodded his head.

''Okay.'' She brought the needle to his arm. Derek bit his lip, closing his eyes momentarily.

''Does it hurt?'' Addison asked her husband.

"Hmhmm slightly."

She took his hand. He gave it a light squeeze before opening his eye again. She pecked his cheek. He smiled softly before looking at his arm. She looked at it as well.

"Wow, I have a feeling that this won't be fun, if the pain gets worse." Derek looked at the small mark that was made. She held his hand a little tighter.

"Talk to me Addi."

''What do you want me to say?''

"I don't know, talk about anything, about flowers, bunnies, human anatomy, I don't know, anything that will take my mind of this."

''I don't know what to say.'' She placed a kiss on his free shoulder.

"Well tell me about something you've always wanted to talk to me about."

''Uhm... like?''

"Like uhm I don't know, gardening? Chocolate?"

''Chocolate?''

"I don't know really Addi, talk to me about anything, from high heels to chandeliers or whatever."

''Hmm well we have to decorate a nursery...''

"Yeah? What colour would you like? I know you want another girl so..."

''Well lilac maybe? It could go with both.''

"Sounds great, lilac is a pretty colour."

''Yeah.''

"So lilac? You want it to have a lilac theme?"

''Sure or something else, I don't know yet.''

"Yeah, but lilac sounds great." He smiled, not even realising there was a needle on his skin.

''Yeah.'' She nodded.

He pecked her lips gently. "Hmm so... you want to go out with me some day this week?"

''Are you asking me out Mr. Shepherd?''

"I admit that I might be asking you out Mrs. Shepherd..."

''Hmm then I might say yes.''

"Oh yes? Would you like to go out with me Mrs. Shepherd?"

''Yes I would.'' This was so ridiculous.

"Good, then it's a date." Derek gave her a smile.

''Hmm.'' She smiled. Derek pecked her lips again. "You have any place you'd like to go?"

''Uhm... maybe we could go to the pool and go out dining afterwards? Or see a movie?''

"Yeah?" Derek smiled. He would sure add some magic to the evening of theirs. Maybe ride horses or something, or have a picnic at the pool or have fireworks lighting the sky with the words 'Addison I love you'. Nah, maybe nothing that big. Addison smiled at him.

"You know it won't be just a movie and dinner, I never do that." He smiled back to her.

''Then what?''

"I don't know..." I do know, first you wake up with 2 white roses and 3 pink roses. The white ones meaning boys, the pink ones meaning girls. Then you find a cute teddy bear from my pillow with a love letter, then you walk into the kids room, but there's a note on the door, telling you that the kids are at my parents, there's yet another teddy bear in Hailey's crib, I'm sure you'll check it. Then you walk into kitchen though you're not hungry, there's a teddy bear, polar bear to be exact, next to the juice carton...

She pecked his lips.

"Yep, I bet I can think of something." He pecked hers back.

''I believe you.''

"You're supposed to so that's good." He smiled sweetly, giving her hand a light squeeze.

''Does it still hurt?''

"A little but I really don't notice it anymore, I like your voice you know."

She laughed softly at him. He rolled his eyes. "Geez I'm pouring my heart over here and you laugh at me?"

''I wasn't laughing at you.''

He rolled his eyes. "Riiiiiight excuses, excuses."

She smiled at him.

"I love you babe." He pecked her lips.

''I love you too honey.''

He smiled softly and held her hand in his tighter as he felt pain. She softly squeezed his hand as she listened to the zooming of the machine.

"I hate that sound." He wrinkled his nose.

''How's it looking?''

"I hate needles, there's a needle on my skin, you want me to look?" Derek gave Addison a come-on-look. She rolled her eyes. ''And that wants to be a surgeon?''

"Shush, I just hate needles, what's wrong with it?"

''It's like nothing compared to cutting into someone's flesh!''

Derek rolled his eyes. "I know, needles are so much worse."

''You're such a baby.''

"You're such a beauty."

''I know.'' She stuck out her tongue.

"Put that back in or I'll bite." He gave her a look. She scrunched up her nose.

He gave her a sweet smile. "Good girl." She smiled at him.

"Hmm, I can't wait to see the tattoo ready." Derek faced his fears and looked at his arm.

''Well?''

"It looks good." Derek nodded, the tattooist was working on the letter S.

''Honey?''

"Yeah?" Derek looked back to her direction.

''I'm gonna make a call home.''

"Okay, could you say hi from me?"

''Will do.'' She got up.

"Thanks." Derek smiled, turning to look at his tattoo. She sneezed before walking out of the room. Derek furrowed his eyebrows together before focusing on not yelling due to the pain. It felt like ten times worse when she wasn't here which sounded like a cliché but it really wasn't.

About a minute later she returned.

"Oh thank god." He let a sigh of relief escape.

''Missed me?''

"My hand missed yours."

''Aww.''

He gave her a smile, holding out his hand for her. She took his hand in both of hers. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to block out the sound the machine made.

''You're almost done.''

Derek nodded his head quickly. "Mhmm."

''Sorry for having such a long name.''

"Yeah, I hate you for it." A smile tugged his lips, he still had his eyes closed. She pecked his lips, sitting down. He pecked hers back and gave her hand a soft squeeze. "That was a long phone call you know?"

''Was not.''

"Was too"

''Nope.''

"Yep."

''Shut up or I'll make Allison screw up the N.''

Derek opened his eyes. "Don't you dare to."

Addison grinned.

Derek pecked her lips. "Don't" kiss. "you" kiss. "dare to" a little longer kiss. She softly kissed him back. He bit on her lower lip gently before he pulled back. She gave him a sparkling smile. He smiled back to her and looked at Allison who was doing the finishing touches on his tattoo.

''We're almost done here.'' She announced.

"Thank god..." Derek sighed, brushing Addison's hand with his.

''It looks great.'' Addison said, looking at it.

"Yeah it does." Derek nodded, "I can't wait to see it ready."

''It's gonna to be a little thick and red for a few days though.'' Allison said.

"Yeah?" Derek made a face.

''Yeah but it will be normal after that.''

"Good, good..." Derek smiled, feeling proud of himself for doing this.

''It's done.''

"YAY!" Derek couldn't help but smile at the tattoo, he did it, well technically Allison did but.. yeah whatever.

''It looks really cool.'' Addison inspected his arm.

"Hmm you think so?" Derek grinned, looking at the tattoo as well.

''Yeah, don't you think so?''

"Yeah, it's amazing." Derek smiled widely at the tattoo. Allison smiled at the both of them.

"Thank you Allison." Derek made a smile.

''You're very welcome.'' She smiled back at him, there was nothing wrong with tattooing a shirtless hot guy. Derek grinned and pecked Addison's lips, giving her hand a light squeeze. Slowly he got up from the chair he was sitting on, pecking her lips again. She wrapped her arms around his neck, giving him a soft kiss. He smiled against her lips a little before kissing her back, linking his arms around her waist.

"Hmm." He smiled, sometime later the two of them made their way towards his parents' house, a new experience richer.

''Your dad is gonna hate it.'' Addison chuckled at they walked onto the porch.

"I know, mom might even think it's fine but dad... I don't even want to imagine." He grabbed her by her waist and kissed her. "Once again you got me in trouble Mrs. Shepherd."

''Hmm yeah this time I can't even lie that it was my fault can I?''

"Yep, this time you can't blame it on me." Derek grinned, "Like you did at the age of 16 when you dropped my mom's favourite vase and blamed it on me and my kisses." He gave her a look, he had been grounded for that one.

''You suddenly kissed me, you scared me!''

"Oh yeah right." Derek rolled his eyes. "It wasn't my fault!"

''It so was.''

"It so was not." He rang the door bell. "But you know what is my fault?" Derek grinned and pressed her against the wall, slowly kissing her.

''Derek!'' She tried to push him away before anyone would open the door. He chuckled at her reaction before he simply pecked her lips and pulled back. "Jesus Addi, relax." She hit his chest un-amused. He pecked her lips again, giving her a smile. She rolled her eyes and tried not to smile, failing badly just as the door opened. Derek slowly rubbed his chest before the door opened, it had hurt a little. "Hey dad.."

''Derek.'' Gabriel smiled at his son. Derek smiled back, slightly nervously since he already knew his father's reaction to the tattoo. Gabriel, who didn't know anything of the tattoo opened the door wider so Addison was revealed.

''Boo.'' She joked.

"Don't scare the old guy, he'll get a heart attack." Derek joked, walking past his father into the room.

''Hey!'' Gabriel scolded and let them in.

Derek grinned widely at his father, enjoying these few moments of peace before he'd have to remove his jacket. Addison walked into the living room. Derek soon followed her, not removing his jacket just yet. Addison looked around confused, looking for her children. "Where are Jussie and Hails?" Derek looked around as well. Addison shrugged, walking into the kitchen. Derek started to remove his jacket carefully, avoiding any fast movements.

''Hello?''

"We're outside!" A voice was heard from the patio. She quickly walked trough the kitchen and shoved the glass door open.

"Hey sorry I didn't know you were here." Theresa gave her an apologizing smile, settling Hailey to the floor.

''That's okay.''

"Okay, good. How did it go?" She asked as Hailey wrapped her arms around her mother's leg and Justin waited to be picked up.

''Good I guess.'' She picked Justin up. ''How did everything go here?''

"You guess? And we had some fun." Theresa smiled widely.

''That's good.'' She stroked her son's hair. Justin grinned and wrapped her arms around his mother's neck. She smiled and hugged him. He hugged her back warmly, his arms around her neck tightly and his fingers tickling her upper back.

''He's inside if you want to see him.'' She bent down to give Hailey a kiss.

"Thanks." Theresa got up from the chair, pressing a quick kiss on Addison's cheek. "Good to see you."

''You too.'' She made a small smile. Theresa walked into the living room, leaving her grandchildren with Addison.

''Did you have fun with grandpa and grandma?''

"Yes!" Hailey grinned. "I got to play with my new Barbie!"

''Already?'' She raised her eyebrows.

"Yeah, but grandma told me not to tell." She batted her eyelashes. Addison sighed. Hailey looked at her with a look that would have melted even ice-queen's heart. "Are you mad...?"

''No.''

"Oh, are you mad at Nana..?"

''Honey you don't have to worry about that okay? That's between grandma and me.''

"Oh, okay... but don't yell at Nana... I asked nicely..." Hailey looked rather worried.

''This has nothing to do with you Bug.''

Hailey nodded. "Can I play with my Barbie again?"

''Yeah is the other thing still closed?''

Hailey nodded. "Nana said that she doesn't want anymore trouble and that I should stop making the Derek-Shepherd's-daughter-puppy-eyes..." Hailey screwed her face up in a thought. "What's puppy-eyes?"

Addison let out a chuckle and rolled her eyes. ''Nothing honey.''

"Oh..." Hailey shrugged it off. "I wanna play now!"

''Then go play.''

Hailey grinned, running back into the house. Addison got up from the chair and walked inside. Derek was sitting on the couch, talking to his mother and Justin was sitting on his lap.

''Mom,'' Addison started. ''Can I have a word with you?''

"Yeah sure." Theresa turned to look at her, walking to her direction.

''Thanks.'' Addison walked into the kitchen. Theresa soon followed her into the kitchen. "You want something to drink?"

''No.''

"Okay." Theresa nodded and took one glass from the cupboard.

''Theresa, what did I specifically told you not to do before you went home?'' Addison asked, it was clear she was not amused, she never called her mother-in-law Theresa.

"You told me not to let her open the package." Theresa replied, looking straight into her eyes, feeling Addison's green eyes piercing hers.

''And what did you do?'' She put her hand on her hip.

"She was giving me the eyes!" This was not a reason good enough and she knew it but... she could never resist those eyes.

''I don't care if she did or not!'' This pissed her off even more. ''That's no excuse!''

"I know it's not but that's my reason. I can't resist those eyes. Derek got away from a lot of stuff by just blinking his pretty blue eyes. I'm sorry Addison that I didn't hold onto my promise." She crossed her arms in front of her chest.

''I told my children not to ask you to play with it but they did and I can't blame them because they're two but you're a grown up adult and I expect you to respect it when I specifically tell you something. And if you can't handle to say no to them then tell me now.''

"I can say no to them, but not if they give me the eyes, I can't just not ignore the eyes. I know I should be able to say no, I know that, I really should. But she's my granddaughter Addison, you know I love her and I've always spoiled them. I know it's not good. I'm sorry Addison."

''I know that you love and spoil them but they need to know that no is no because I'm raising them here and they need to learn to listen and they won't when you give them everything they want when they know that I said no.''

"Look, Addison, I'm sorry for doing what I did. I know you're the mother, your word is final, I should have respected your decision."

''Yes you should have and you should be ashamed of telling Hailey to lie to me.''

"Yeah, well obviously she didn't which is good."

''Yeah and she didn't because she simply didn't understand but soon she will. They're smart enough for that, Justin already knows he could get anything done by telling me he hates me and now I let him scream bloody murderer at me and yes, that does still hurt but I won't let him get that kinda grip on me.''

Theresa tilted her head to the side. "I haven't seen him acting like that, I know he's a little angry sometimes but, I didn't know it was that big."

''Well he is.'' The muscles around her mouth twitched as she tried not to flinch. Theresa gave her a sad look. "Really?" None of her children had acted like this, Derek didn't act like this, he was a good kid. But the teenage-part...

''Yes really, do I look like I'm making this up?'' She asked un-intently harsh.

"No need to get hard on me about this, I was just asking, Addison. It was just a question."

''This wasn't why I called you out here so don't.''

"Okay." Theresa shrugged, "Just making sure."

''The point is, when we were looking for some sort of nanny we decided we didn't want that, when I said I was gonna quit med school you told me not to because you would help us out with the kids and I trusted you that you were capable of doing that.''

"I am capable of doing that Addison, this won't happen again, now I know what you want. I'm sorry I broke my promise, it'll never happen again. You don't have to quit med school, I'm still here for you when you need me. I guess I was just slightly distracted by stuff that's been going on." Theresa sighed.

''What stuff?''

"Gabriel." She said simply.

''I'll talk to Derek about other options.'' Addison replied.

"Addison please, you don't need to do that. I can take care of them perfectly well, I just need to talk to Gabriel first."

''No you obviously have enough to deal with in your own life and you're forgetting that I'm pregnant here.''

Theresa looked at her with sad eyes. "The twins are a part of my life, just like you."

''Yeah but you also have your own life and if I was oblivious to your problems then I apologize.''

"Look, I just need to talk to Gabriel, it's nothing, we'll just sort it out. In a month we won't even remember it. Addison look, I can help you with the kids."

''I doubt that.''

"Well you shouldn't."

"But I do, especially with a baby on the way. Of course I'm going to take time off but if I want to go back to school then I need someone who can babysit a few hours a day.''

"Are you telling me you don't trust me as a babysitter?" Theresa looked straight into her eyes. "Addison, what I did today wasn't right, I know it. Don't you think I regret doing it? I can take care of Bug and Jussie, I can do it but if you don't trust me on this one, you don't trust that today I was tired and my judgement sucked because Gabriel kept me up till the midnight, then okay. Then I suggest you get someone else."

''You couldn't today because Gabriel kept you up? Have you got any idea what I go through every day?''

Theresa looked at her. "Addison, no need to yell here, I know it's hard, I know it's not as magical as you thought."

''I never thought is was magical, I never said I did!''

Theresa poured herself a glass of water. "True."

''Well then, don't say I did.''

"Fine, I won't say so." She sipped the water.

''Good.''

"Hmhm." Theresa shrugged and sipped her water once again. "Are we done here?"

''We are.'' Addison turned around and left the kitchen. Theresa sighed, placed the glass on the counter and followed her into the living room.

''We're going.'' Addison looked at her husband.

"Oh, I thought we were staying for dinner." Derek looked a little confused.

''We're not.''

"Okay." He shrugged and got up from the couch, placing Justin on the floor.

''I'm going to get Hailey.'' She simply said. Derek nodded and walked towards the hall with Justin. "Justin say bye bye to grandma and grandpa."

''Bye!'' He nearly yelled. Derek chuckled as Theresa and Gabriel waved their goodbyes. Addison walked back inside with Hailey on her hip. Derek made a small smile and walked into the hall, grabbing Justin's coat.

Without saying anything Addison pulled on Hailey's coat and left. Derek took the bag containing Hailey's Barbie-things and walked out of the house after her. When the door closed Gabriel looked at his wife in confusion. ''What was that all about?''

"Remember that I told you Addison wouldn't like the fact that Hailey opened the package, well I was wrong, she hated it."

''What did she say?''

"Well she said that I'm an adult and I should have respected her decision, which I do but that was a little harsh. She told me that she's raising them and then something about her not thinking that I can help them with the kids."

''Ouch...''

"Yeah." Theresa made a sad look. "I don't know Gabriel, at the moment I just don't know."

''Do you think that you can help them?''

"I think so but first, you and I need to talk."

''Why us?'' He asked confused.

"Uhm well... you've been a little absent. Last night doesn't count."

''I've been busy with work.''

"Well yeah you have but Gab, I feel like you're abandoning me."

''I'm not, I know that I haven't been home much lately but I'm changing right?''

"Yeah, it's a good change but I just needed to get this off my chest."

''Are you and Addison going to be okay?''

She shrugged. "I hope so, she's like a daughter to me."

''She is.''

"Yeah, I don't know what to do Gabby."

''Talk to her.''

"Yeah, tomorrow."

''Are you going over there?''

"Yeah, should I call her tomorrow before I go?"

''I don't know...was she really angry?''

"Well she yelled at me." She crossed her arms in front of her chest.

''I'm just asking.''

"I know you are."

''And you should just be allowed to drop by, Derek is your son.''

"True. So I should just like appear to their doorsteps?"

''Why not?''

"Thank you Gabby."

''Anytime.''

At the same time Derek stopped at the traffic lights. "So, ready to tell me why we left?"

''Why don't you ask your mother that next time?''

"So there's no way you're going to tell me what that was about?"

''I will but not in front of the children.''

"Okay, good" Derek nodded and kept his eyes on the road.

''Yeah.''

"So... you hungry?" He tried to make a conversation.

''No.''

"Okay." Silence fell over them.

''What do you want for dinner?''

"Spaghetti maybe or we could just order in Chinese or something."

"Okay."

"Good." He carried on driving, his eyes glued to the road. Addison sighed, looking out of her window as she tried to keep her emotions in check. Derek placed his other hand over hers and looked at her direction for a short moment, something his mother had said had upset her and he didn't like it, at all. She didn't move her hand away. He gently brushed it, wanting to comfort her anyway possible. She bit on the inside of her cheeks.

He looked into the rear view mirror, both of the kids were fast asleep, thank god. It had been a tiring day for them. "What did my mother say?"

"Nothing"  
"Yeah? That's why you're trying not to cry?"

''I'm not trying not to cry.'' She lied.

"Are you making me play the 'I've known you for god knows how many years, I know when you're lying'-card?" Derek gave her hand a squeeze.

''I don't want to talk about it.''

"But you could...talk to me you know."

''I know, but I don't want to.'' Her voice broke. He turned to look at her, "I'm going to ask once more, what did she say?"

''She didn't say anything bad.''

"Okay good, I'm glad she didn't." He squeezed her hand. She didn't move her hand at all. He carried on brushing her hand now. "Want to talk to me about it when we get home?"

She shook her head, her head still turned away to the window. He sighed, keeping his hand exactly where it was. "Okay."

She leaned her head on her hand. Derek's hand continued the movement before he linked his fingers with hers. A sob escaped her tightly shut lips. Derek turned his head to her direction, this was enough for him to pull the car to the side of the road. She didn't move or say anything. "Addison, something's not right, please tell me what it is." He almost begged. She shook her head, gritting her teeth against each other, not to make a sound. He shook his head as well, getting up from the car and taking the keys, closing his door and walking to the passenger's side. He opened Addison's door. "Tell me, please" She turned her head away. ''It's nothing.''

"It's not nothing if you're crying."

''Those are the hormones.''

He tilted his head to the side. "Look at me."

She looked down, shaking her head. He brought up her chin with his thumb. "Addie?"

''What?'' She asked silently, finally looking into his eyes.

"You sure?" He looked back into hers, brushing her cheek with his hand.

''About what?''

"Are you sure it's the hormones or did something upset you?"

She shrugged.

"Yeah? Did something upset you a little?"

''She doesn't respect me.''

"My mom?"

''Yeah.''

"Oh, what makes you think so?"

''I told her specifically not to let Hailey open her Barbie and she did.''

"Yeah? My mom let her open the Barbie?" Derek furrowed his eyebrows together.

''Yeah, I told her not to. And I know what you think, that it's stupid and all but that's not what it's about.''

"This is about her not listening to you and your opinions and wishes?" He nodded.

''Yeah, exactly.''

"Oh, well I'm sure she didn't mean to do it..." Derek didn't know really.

''But she did, she doesn't respect me.''

"I'm sure it's not that, maybe she just couldn't say no to her?" Derek gently brushed her cheek.

''You know what she said, she said she couldn't say no because she had something with Gabriel last night, does she know what we go through every day?''

"She doesn't know what our days are like. Some of them might be great, some are just...horrible. But I love to share them with you, I don't care if you snap at me in the evening because in the end of the day when you lay next to me and I get to wrap my arms around you. I can't wait to get up to see you again."

She looked at him, more tears forming in her eyes.

"Oh great now I made you cry even more." He took her face in his hands.

''Not like that.'' She looked into his eyes. He made a gentle smile and wiped away few tears.

''I love you.''

"I love you too." He pressed his forehead against hers.

''But Der, I don't know if I still want Theresa to always look after them when we're at school.''

"You want to get a new babysitter then?"

''I want to quit school.''

"Oh, well we talked about this earlier, if that's what you want to do then I don't have a word in it, do I?"

''Well you're husband so you do have a word in it but I'm having a baby.''

"I know, it's already hard for you to go to school but with a baby on the way it'd be harder."

''Yeah...''

"But I think we should try a babysitter. You'd have an education, and then you could stay at home as much as you want to." Derek raised his eyebrows. "Just a week or two."

''I don't want a stranger to look after my children.''

"I know, we could ask one of my sisters, I'm sure they don't have anything better to do."

''Nancy is soon to be married, Kathleen is busy with her own school and the twins are too young to look after our twins.''

"Point well noticed. Well my cousin is a nanny."

''I don't know her.''

"Phoebe, you met her at the wedding, dark curly hair, blue eyes..." Pretty much a typical Shepherd.

''I don't remember, sorry.''

"I haven't talked to her for a long time... I wonder how she is." A smile was decorating his face. Addison looked at him.

"Yeah... what was I saying?"

''Something about your cousin Phoebe?''

"Oh yes right well… we could call her."

''I don't know...''

"Look, just try it for a week or something."

''We'll see okay. I just want to go home now, make dinner and go to bed.''

He nodded and placed a kiss on her forehead. "Don't cry Adds, she's not worth that."

''I just wanna go home.''

He nodded again, giving another kiss on her forehead before standing straight.

''Thanks.'' She whispered.

"Anytime." He made a small smile and closed the car door before he walked to his side and got in again.

She leaned her head back against the headrest, closing her eyes. He closed the door and started the car, taking one quick look of her as he started to drive. She wiped away her tears, her eyes still closed. He looked at her again, brushing away a tear he saw, then focused back on driving.

''I'm so tired.''

"You can go straight to bed if you want to, I can take a bread or something." He offered.

''The kids need to eat.''

"I can give them sandwiches, they should be okay with it, we'll have a big breakfast tomorrow then. Okay?"

She shook her head. ''They need dinner.''

He sighed. "Okay then."

She turned her head to check if they were still asleep. Hailey was sucking on her thumb, which she only did when she was asleep. She looked at Justin who was sprawled out in the car seat. There was a smile playing on the little boy's lips as he slept. A small smile was seen on her lips through her sad eyes.


	10. Cooking, Sex talk and Sleeping

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 10 – Cooking, Sex talk and Sleeping_

Soon they arrived to the Shepherd's house, they both took one kid, both of them still asleep and carried them into the house. Addison sat down on the couch with Hailey in her arms, softly stroking the little girl's cheek. "Hmm..." Hailey stirred, moving a little. She placed a kiss on her forehead, simply holding her. A smile lingered on Hailey's lips and she opened her eyes. She smiled at her daughter, still softly brushing her cheek.

"Me hungry." The little girl mumbled, only partly awake. ''I'm going to make dinner soon honey.'' She whispered. Hailey nodded, pleased with the answer and quickly fell asleep again. Addison got up and laid Hailey down on the couch. The little girl's finger moved into her mouth again and she rolled onto her side. Addison gave her a kiss and rubbed her forehead tiredly, moving into the kitchen. Inside the kitchen Derek was trying to decide what would be the right ingredients.

''What are you doing?'' She asked tiredly.

"Where do we keep the pasta?" He replied with a question.

''I'll get it.'' She opened the cupboard.

"Thanks." He made a small smile. She got out the pasta and then a kettle and the other ingredients.

"Okay... what do we do now?" Derek asked rather excitedly, he didn't usually cook.

''Nothing, go watch TV or something I'll call you when it's ready."

He rolled his eyes and sat on a chair, he was going to stay here and look at her. She sighed, kicking off her heels as she turned on the gas. He leaned his head against the counter and simply looked at her. She started to cook. He kept a close look on her hands as she chopped the tomatoes and boiled the water.

A while later the spaghetti was cooking and Addison leaned against the counter. Derek smiled softly, looking into her eyes. "You can cook... I would have chopped off my finger by now."

''I can't cook...I'm just doing something, I have to.''

"Well I don't see any blood so I think you can cook." He flashed a tired smile.

''It's just pasta.''

"Still." He shrugged.

''What do you want to drink?''

"Just water." He answered, though right now a good cold beer would have been nice.

''You sure?''

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"

''Because we have other things then water.''

"Well umm a glass of milk maybe?"

''With pasta?''

"Right umm I don't know. Give me anything."

''Is everything alright?''

"Yeah, everything's okay. I just don't want to take a beer or wine cause you can't have any." He shrugged.

''Why won't you? I'm the one who is pregnant, not you.''

"It just doesn't seem fair to me."

''Beer or wine?''

"Beer please."

''Okay.'' She opened the fridge.

"Thanks." He made a small smile and carefully watched her actions. She got out a beer and a carton of orange juice. "You're the best." Derek slowly got up from the chair and stretched his back. She didn't reply, just filled two glasses with orange juice.

"You're pissed at me." He simply stated and took the beer she offered.

''What? No!'' She looked at him. ''Why would I be pissed at you?''

"You sound like you are." He shrugged, when she was pregnant with the twins she used to get all annoyed with him, even for the littlest things.

''Well I'm not. I'm just tired okay.''

"Okay, good, that's good." He nodded and opened the beer can. She put the two cups on the table and continued with the pasta. He took a small sip and sat to the end of the table.

''Will you get the kids please?''

"Yeah sure." Derek placed the can on the table and left the room, walking into the living room. Addison filled three plates with pasta.

Some time later Derek walked back to the room, a twin on his each hip. Both of the kids were rubbing their eyes sleepily. She placed the plates on the table.

"Guess what? We're having pasta today." Derek smiled at the twins. Addison smiled at them. ''Wake up sleepyheads."

"It's time for dinner." Derek pressed kisses on each twin's hair.

''I wanna sleep.'' Hailey whined.

"That makes the two of us, but you're still a little girl and you have to eat so you can become a strong big girl, remember that? Vegetables and milk." Derek pressed a small kiss on her lips.

''So I'll get as big as you?''

"Almost. You can't be as big as me, or strong as me, I'm the world's strongest man."

''You're not.'' She giggled as she was set down on her chair.

"I am not?" Derek faked hurt and did the same to Justin.

''Nuhuh!'' Hailey shook her head at her brother.

"Hailey, then who is?" Derek was curious as he walked back to the table.

''Someone else.''

"Oh you really think so?" Derek laughed and poured the beer into the glass.

''Mhm.'' She nodded and picked up her fork.

''I'm going to bed.'' Addison bent down and wrapped her arms around Derek's neck from behind, placing a kiss on his dark hair.

"Hmm okay, I'll get the kids to their beds and then." He tilted his head so that he could peck her lips and did so. "I'll crawl to the bed next to you."

''Okay.'' She pecked his lips. ''Enjoy dinner.''

"We will. Sweet dreams" He smiled softly at her.

"GOOD NIGHT MOMMY!" Justin waved his hand.

''Night sweetheart.'' She walked over to kiss him and then Hailey who had spaghetti sauce all around her mouth.

"Dream of me." Hailey gave her mother an Eskimo-kiss.

''I always do Bug.'' She smiled at the nose kiss. Hailey smiled widely, sticking another forkful of pasta into her mouth. Addison smiled, stroking Hailey's hair before giving Derek one more kiss. "Goodnight." Derek kissed her back for a short moment. Hailey somehow managed not to mess herself anymore with this forkful. She gave him a small smile. ''Leave the dishes.''

"Really? Ah this is the reason I love you."

''Of course you do. Night.''

"Dream of me" Derek pecked her lips once more.

''It's going to get busy there then.''

"Yep, but you can sit on my lap if it helps any." He smiled softly.

''Huh?''

"It might be crowded too so, feel free to sit on my lap if that happens."

''Cheesy.'' She chuckled. ''I love you.'' She pecked his lips once more.

"You love you my cheesiness and I love you too." He pecked her back softly. She smiled against her lips.

''Eww!'' Justin pulled a face. ''Don't kiss my momma!''

Derek laughed against her lips. "It won't be eww when you're 15 Jussie."

''That's really old.'' Hailey commented.

"I know it is, but Bug don't you ever dare to grow up."

''I'm almost three!'' She said excitedly, taking another forkful. Derek chuckled. "Oh yes you are, you'll be a big girl!"

"I'm already a big boy!" Justin said proudly.

''You are honey.'' Addison smiled, she was so proud of them. Justin smirked and carried on eating.

"Hmm now get your pretty butt under the covers, into that warm bed." Derek pecked her lips once more.

''Yeah, tuck them in safely okay?'' She smiled at them and left the kitchen.

"Hmm." Derek smiled and watched her leave the room before turning to look at the two-year-olds messing with the pasta. "I think we'll never have pasta again." He began to eat, every now and then sipping his beer.

''Why not? It's good.'' Hailey said.

"You both look like you dived into pasta." Derek chuckled at his daughter.

''It's yummy.'' Justin grinned.

"I know it is, mommy made it." Derek's grin was just like his son's.

''Hey daddy?'' Hailey asked. ''How come Jussie and I have the same birthday?''

"Well you are twins. You were together in mommy's tummy."

''But how? All the other kids don't.''

"Well mommy ate this special carrot, it had these vitamins called Jussie and Bug..."

''I'm a carrot?'' Her eyes opened widely. Derek tried his best not to laugh. "No, you were inside a carrot, it's different."

''I was not!''

"What makes you doubt my words?"

''Because Chrissy says when you kiss a baby grows in the mommy's tummy.''

"Well that's right, daddy ate a carrot and then kissed mommy, then you grew in mommy's tummy."

She screwed her face up in thought. ''Why do you do funny things at night then?''

Derek's face fell. "What funny things?" Oh. my. god.

''When you lie on top of mommy.''

"Uhm... mommy gets very, very cold at night. I'm just warming her." Derek was shocked.

''Why doesn't she get an extra blanket?''

"Well umm sweetie mommy likes daddy a lot."

''Yes?''

"And sometimes mommy wants daddy to lay on top of mommy because she loves daddy."

''But why?''

"Well because mommy wants to be close to daddy, and daddy so does daddy. And mommy and daddy love each other very much, so they lay together on the bed..."

''And what do you do then?''

"Then we kiss, a lot. Because we want to feel each other, tell each other we love each other." He was actually telling his two-year-olds about sex.

''But you do that now too when you're not in bed.''

"Well yes we do because we love each other Bug."

''I still don't get why you do that.''

"I don't expect you to" He stuck his mouth full of pasta.

''But explain than daddy.''

He sighed, he didn't want his little girl to know about sex, only the main things, he reminded himself. "Well we do it because we're in love, it makes us feel good."

''Feel good?''

"We'll talk to mommy okay, after dinner, now chop chop eat."

''Will you tell then?''

"We'll see bug, we'll see."

''Pleeeeaaaaseee.''

Derek looked at his daughter and sighed. "Fine."

''Yay!'' She chirped, eating.

It was either his imagination or Hailey and Justin, both, were eating faster.

''Daddy I'm done!'' Hailey bounced in her chair.

"What about Jussie?" Derek looked at his baby boy who was ready with his dinner. He sighed again and finished his pasta, taking the last sip of beer. "Okay, okay let's go then."

Justin held his arms out for his father.

"Wait." Derek got two napkins and cleaned Justin's face, then placed him on the floor. "Wait for us okay?" Derek started to clean Hailey's face now.

''Hurry!''

"Yeah yeah I'm just making you two look like you didn't just jump into the pasta-river." He mumbled and threw the napkins on the table and picked Hailey up.

''That would be fun!'' Justin giggled. Derek laughed. "I know it would." Hailey clapped her hands together excitedly. "Okay now Justin. Up." He picked him up as well, resting him on his other hip. Hailey pecked her father's cheek. ''Daddy? I think you're pretty.'' Derek smiled, thinking that must have been the sweetest comment he had ever heard. "And you're beautiful."

''Daddy when I'm older I'm going to marry you.''

"Oh yes? Well sorry to disappoint you but daddy is married to mommy." Derek tried not to laugh.

''Why can't you marry me then?'' She batted her eyelashes.

"Well first of all you're my daughter, I can't." He pecked her cheek. "Second of all, I can't marry two women."

''Don't you want to marry me?''

"I'd love to marry you but I'm married to your mommy, mommy would be sad if I married you, we don't want that right?"

She shook her head. ''Daddy do you think I look like mommy?''

"I do, everyday. Why are you asking this?"

''Just wondering.'' She shrugged as Derek walked them upstairs.

"Shh let's see if mommy's awake." Derek softly knocked on the door before stepping in with the kids. Addison opened her eyes. ''Huh?''

"Bug had something to ask... is it okay if we come in?"

''Okay.'' She let out a yawn, taking Hailey in her arms.

"It's about the funny stuff we do at night." Derek whispered in Addison's ear and placed Justin on the bed. Her eyes widened. ''Are gonna tell them about sex?'' She whispered back.

"Well she's not buying my theory about you eating a carrot with little Bug and Jussie vitamins in it so I guess..."

Addison rolled her eyes. ''You start.''

"Noo I already talked downstairs."

''Come on.''

"Fine." Derek sighed before she sat on the bed next to Addison, looking at Hailey. "Hailey, you remember when you asked about that funny stuff?"

''Yes.'' She nodded.

"So you wanted to know why I lay on top of mommy at night."

''Oh god.'' Addison mumbled.

"Oh god exactly." Derek mumbled back. "I wonder where she heard this from."

''I saw it daddy, you made funny sounds.''

Derek's eyes widened. "What?"

''You made funny sounds then.''

"Oh god." He buried his face to his hands. Hailey looked at them expectantly.

"Well honey.. mommy and daddy love each other very much and then we want to please each other."

''Please?'' She looked confused.

"Well mommy and daddy like to make love. It shows how much you care for the other."

''What's that?''

"Well it's uhm.." He looked at Addison for help.

''It's something called sex honey.''

Derek shrugged, well you could say it like that.

"What's sex?" Hailey tilted her head to the side.

''Well,'' Addison looked at her husband.

"Sex is something me and mommy do and then we feel really good."

''What do you do then?''

"We kiss, we hug, we... uhm" Derek looked at Addison. She gave him a look, he called this on himself so he had to tell.

Derek rolled his eyes at her. "Princess, that is something you're not supposed to know about for years."

''But daddy please! I'm almost three already!'' She whined.

"You have to be 18 for this." Derek nodded seriously.

''Daddy!''

"Ask your mommy, she knows about this stuff too." Derek gave Addison a look, he wasn't going to do this all alone. Addison sighed. ''A mommy and a daddy lay on top of each other and do things and sometimes they conceive a baby that way. "Yep." Derek nodded, hoping that their daughter would find this boring. Justin listened to their conversation with his eyes wide open.

''How does the baby get in the mommy then?''

"A mommy and a daddy hug really, really tight and then a baby is created."

''How?''

"Uhm." He wasn't going to talk about his manhood in front of his daughter, no way. Hailey looked at her daddy.

"Okay sweetie... the baby is created by having sex. Sometimes when you have sex, a mommy gets pregnant, then nine months later a baby is born."

''Then why did mommy get two babies at once?''

"Well sometimes that happens, not often though, it's rare."

''And why are Chrissy's parents much older then you?''

"Chrissy's parents must have met later, mommy and daddy met when they were 7...So it took more time from them to build that trust and love which we gained during all those years of playing and running around"

''When will I have a baby?''

"Never if that's up to me." Derek mumbled under his breath before smiling. "When you meet the right man for you that makes you happy."

''When's that?''

"I don't know sweetie, maybe when you're a little bit older."

"Mommy! When will I get a baby?" Justin pulled at his mother's hand.

''You won't, not until loooooooooong.''

He pouted his lips.

''You're still a baby yourself!''

"I'm not!" Justin pouted his lips again.

''You are, you're a toddler.''

"Nuh uh, daddy tell her I'm nooot!" He crossed his arms in front of his chest. Addison laughed softly. ''You're my little big boy.''

Derek chuckled and leaned his head against the head board.

''I think these two need to go to sleep.''

"I think so too, is our Bug a little tired?" Derek laughed at their daughter who was yawning.

''No.'' She lied.

"Right, you were just playing a lion?"

''Yeah, grraaaaaw.''

"Graaaaauh." Derek grinned.

Hailey giggled.

''I'm a snake!'' Justin ssssst.

"What's mommy then? Is she a" sexy. "tiger?" Derek rolled onto his back and moved to the end of the bed, looking at Addison.

''Hmm.'' Addison raised her eyebrow, throwing him a lush look.

A smirk spread on his face. "Hmm let's hear your roar."

''Later.'' She grinned.

Derek had the feeling that he'd like this, very much. "I think it's time to get the snake-boy and our little lion to the bed."

''Wait, I wanna give a kiss to the baby first.'' Hailey said. Derek smiled widely. "Give the baby a quick kiss before it's time to go to sleep." Hailey wriggled out of her mothers arms and moved down to her stomach. Derek watched closely as the little girl planted a kiss on her mommy's tummy. Justin just crawled to Addison and wrapped his arms around her neck. Addison smiled and gave him a kiss. Justin grinned and pecked her lips once more, like his daddy did when she left. "Good night mommy!"

''Night sweetheart.''

"I love you mommy!" The little boy grinned and moved off of the bed, running out of the room.

Addison shook her head laughing. ''You better get them changed now.''

"Yeah I will, you just go back to sleep." or even better stay up waiting for me. Derek picked up Hailey and pecked Addison's lips once more. "I'll be right back"

''See you.''

Derek smiled once more and then left the room, walking towards the twins' room.

''What are we going to do tomorrow daddy?''

"Well mommy and daddy were planning on going to school tomorrow."

''Mommy too?'' She pouted.

"Yeah mommy too, but we can have some fun together in the evening, maybe we could watch a movie."

''What movie?'' Justin asked.

"I don't know yet, something fun. Maybe Finding Nemo?"

''With the fish?''

"Yeah, with the cute fish." They entered the twins' room.

''I wanna see it!''

"Good, good" Derek chuckled and placed Hailey on the changing table.

''I love you daddy.''

"I love you too, both of you." Derek quickly got rid of Hailey's dress and dressed her in her pyjamas. Justin waited on his bed. Derek threw Hailey on his shoulder and carried her to her bed, placing her down carefully before walking to Justin. Hailey giggled and got under the blankets. Derek laughed softly and pressed a kiss on Justin's head, tucking him in safely. "Sweet dreams my boy."

''You too dadda.''

Derek pressed a tiny kiss on his lips. "See you in the morning." He moved to the next bed, his little bug.

''Hey daddy.'' She smiled brightly.

"Hey sunshine." Derek brushed her cheek gently and tucked her in as well.

''Daddy is mommy having two babies again?''

"I don't think so sweetie, I think it's just one baby this time."

''A girl?''

"We don't know yet." Derek placed a kiss on Hailey's lips and brushed her hair.

''Can we keep our room?''

Derek nodded at her. "Yeah, you can keep the room, the baby will get it's own room."

''Will you get another baby after that?''

"No, probably not, we're happy with you three."

''What are you gonna name the baby?''

Derek looked at her for a moment. "We'll tell that to you later, now get some sleep BuggyBug."

''Okay!''

He smiled softly "Good night." He kissed her on the lips and then left the room.

''Night.'' She called after him sleepily. Derek left the door a little open and walked back into the master bedroom.

''Hey.'' Addison gave him a small smile.

"Hi, I thought you were sleeping." He started to remove his jeans.

''Not yet.'' She watched him.

"Okay." He nodded and let his jeans pool around his ankles, leaving him in his boxers. She sucked on her bottom lip, checking out his ass. He picked up the jeans from the floor and then placed them on a chair and walked towards the bed.

''Hmm shirt off?''

"Yep." He quickly pulled it over his head and placed it on another chair. She grinned at him. He grinned back to her before he slipped under the covers.

''Mmm I love you.''

"I love you too." He pulled her close to his chest.

''You're sexy.''

Derek chuckled softly. "You're the sexiest woman on earth, I don't deserve you." He placed a kiss on her shoulder.

''Everyone is jealous at me for having you.'' She kissed his chest.

"Hmm really? The guys hate me for having you." He closed his eyes.

''They do not.'' She chuckled. He laughed softly. "Well maybe they just dislike me."

''Why would they?''

"For marrying the most beautiful woman and having the most amazing children ever."

Addison smiled. ''I love our family.''

"I love our family too, Bug and Jussie... and you."

''And baby.''

"Yes and our little baby." He brushed his hand over her stomach. Addison smiled at him.

"Hmm Addie?"

''Yeah?''

"Are we going to school tomorrow?" He asked against her hair.

''We said we would right?''

"Yeah but where are the kids staying?"

''Oh...it would be Theresa but yeah...''

"Yeah... but we could still ask her to, I bet she feels bad about earlier."

''I told her I didn't want her as a babysit anymore.''

"Oh. Okay."

''I'm sorry, I know she's your mother but they're my kids as well.''

"Addison I know that. So what are we going to do about this babysitter-thing?"

''I don't know, what do you think?''

"I don't know either, this kind of sucks you know?"

''I'll just stay home...''

"I think we should call Phoebe." He looked at his wife.

''I don't know if I can trust someone I don't know with them.''

"Well Addison the truth is that I want some alone time with you. And I think Phoebe is our best option for a babysitter."

''Alone time?''

"Just the two of us."

''Are you talking about sex?''

"No, I'm not talking about sex, I'm talking about dates, having a nice dinner, seeing a movie. Something like that."

''We just can't do that Derek.''

"Okay then."

''I'm sorry.''

"No it's okay, we wouldn't have the time anyway." A scary thought appeared, he almost said it out loud. He almost said 'I should focus on school anyway' and it scared him. She nodded quietly.

Derek nodded as well. "So you're staying home tomorrow?"

''Well since I don't have another option.''

"Yeah." He shrugged.

''We should go to sleep...''

"We should, goodnight." He pressed a small kiss on her hair.

''Goodnight.''

He pulled her a little closer to him. She wrapped her arms around his bare waist. A smile lingered on his lips, her arms warming his skin. "You're warm."

''You made me.''

"Hmm?" He traced circles on her stomach.

''You made me warm.''

"How did I do that?" He pressed another kiss on her hair.

''By being with me here, and well, laying against me.''

He chuckled. "Hmm okay, I like the warmness."

''Me too.'' She smiled.

"You're warm." He said again, playing with her fingers.

''In what way?''

"In all the ways, that's why I love you. In the winter I can use you instead of central heating." There was a spark in his eyes. "And emotionally, you're warm, you're Addie. My Addie."

''I am.'' She smiled widely. ''Oh baby?''

"What?" He smiled back to her just as broadly.

''Did you tell dad about the tattoo?''

"Kinda not..." He blinked his eyes.

"Why not?"

"Well it's still red and all and knowing him he'd say something like 'it's inflamed, this is what you happen when you get tattoos'. I think I'll tell him later."

''Well you have to tell.''

"Yeah I will later." Derek pressed another kiss on her hair.

''Good.'' She ran her fingers over his chest.

"Yeah I just didn't want him to see it like this, and I didn't even have time to show him."

''You think he'll be angry?''

"Probably a little pissed off. He doesn't like tattoos so..."

''It's your arm and you're not a kid anymore.''

"True." He nodded. "I know it's my arm but still he might give me some sort of a speech. But he'll just have to live with it, I'm not a kid anymore."

''Yeah.'' She placed a kiss against his chest. He smiled and dropped another kiss on her hair. "But I'm glad I did it, I love my pretty tattoo."

''Me too.'' She smiled, running her fingers over it. He smiled widely. "Hmm... I like your fingers."

''Oh really?'' She laughed. ''Why?''

"They feel warm against my skin, and they're soft." He took her hand in his and gave each of her fingertips a kiss. She smiled at his actions.

"And this one finger, it's my favourite." He pressed another kiss on her ring finger's fingertip.

''Hmm why?''

"It has this pretty little ring." He smiled and kissed the ring.

''Hmhmm.'' She smiled at him. ''It's been there for a while now.''

"Yeah, it has." Derek played with her fingers. "I'm glad I got to place it on your finger."

''Well I'm glad you wanted to.''

"I always did." He linked their fingers together slowly.

''How many years do we know each other now?''

"Umm like 15?" He tried to count. "Since the first grade so that'd make uhm 15."

''Yeah but we've been dating since we were sixteen.''

"Yeah." He leaned closer so that he could kiss her on the lips. "That'd make seven years of us then."

''And married for three.''

"Yeah, three years." He pressed his lips against hers softly.

''And parents for two.''

"Our little babies are growing." Derek kissed her softly for a short moment.

''They are.'' She looked into his eyes. ''Hey Der?''

"Yes Ads?" He looked back into her eyes, pressing his forehead against hers.

''Do you think I shouldn't have said that to Theresa?''

"Well she was our babysitter when we needed her to, I don't know really."

''Yeah but I mean, outside from babysitter, as family.''

"I don't know what you said exactly but I'm kind of sure she's a little upset. I hope you two can talk things straight because I don't want to block her out of our lives you know."

''Well me either, she's like a mother to me.''

"Yeah I know she is." He made a small, sad smile and then pecked her lips. "Talk to her."

''How?''

"Call her tomorrow and drop by at their house, and then you could visit me during lunch break and tell me how it went." He started to play with her fingers again.

''I still don't agree with her though.''

"Just try to talk to her, it doesn't mean you have to agree with her."

''I don't know...''

"Or you can just wait and let her take the first step."

''Yeah we'll see.''

"Okay." He nodded kissed her softly. She gently kissed him back. He slowly started brushing her hair. "I love you.'' She breathed. "I love you too." He murmured back, against her lips. She slipped her tongue into his mouth.

He instantly started massaging her tongue with his, playing with a stray of her hair. Her hand moved down to his boxers. "Hmm." He allowed a small moan to escape. She started moving her hand over him through the material. She earned another moan from him, his erection starting to grow against her hand. Her lips curled up into a smile.

"Hmm." He moved her on top of him, his and wandering on her ass. She pushed her body against his. Another moan left his lips and his hands went to the hem of her top. She slipped her hands into his boxers. "Hmm." He arched his body against hers. "I was supposed to make the earlier up to you.." He arched his body against hers. "It's your turn honey..."

''What do you mean?'' She asked, stroking her fingers over his manhood. He let out a moan. "The mall, I was supposed to pay back."

''Hmm.'' She grinned, massaging his tip.

"But that can wait." His eyes fluttered closed and he moaned again. She started teasing him, her fingers moving over his length, barely ting him. He groaned in frustration, trying to move himself closer to her. But she wouldn't let him, her other hand cupping his balls. He moaned and half groaned, he needed more. ''Hmm impatient.'' She couldn't help but laugh a little. "Maybe just a little." He mumbled back, trying to keep his moans down.

''Selfish.''

"Am not." He gave her ass a light squeeze.

''Are too, you're just lying here letting me do all the work.''

"You want some special attention too?" He slowly opened his eyes, running his fingers over her spine.

''Well what do you think?'' She raised her eyebrow.

"Hmm I'm guessing yes." He kissed her softly and rolled them over. She looked into his eyes.

"Sorry." He smiled and pressed a kiss on her jaw, "Sorry." He placed another one on her neck. "Sorry." A light kiss hit her shoulder.

''Hmm, if you continue that I might consider thinking about forgiving you.''

"Hmm good." He started to remove her shirt, few more kisses were placed on her neck before the shirt was pulled over her head. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He smiled at her softly before brought his lips to hers, playing with the waistband of her pyjama bottoms. She softly kissed him, lifting up her hips for him. He kissed her back and inched down her pants, moving his lips onto her collarbone. She closed her eyes. He started sucking on it, running his fingers up her leg onto her thigh. She let out a small moan in anticipation.

He let his hand massage her thigh while he dropped wet kisses between her breasts. Her back arched up as moans left her lips. He gently bit the skin on her left breast before sucking on it, his hand moving onto her inner thigh. Her legs opened further. He massaged her inner thigh, creating a hickey on her breast, like he was marking his territory. She moved her body against him, wanting more. He almost painfully slowly pulled down her panties. She felt a heat spread through her body. He kissed between her breasts again, his fingers moving closer towards their destination, feeling her warmness. She sucked in a breath.

He spread her legs a little wider, taking his time before he pushed two fingers into her. He fingers curled around the top of her pillow, breathing heavily. He started placing kisses on her throat, keeping his fingers still, giving her some time. She wrapped her arms around his neck, needing the closeness. ''Derek talk to me.'' She breathed. "Hmm what do you want me to say?" He mumbled against her skin, starting to pump his fingers in and out of her. ''I don't know.'' She moaned. "Hmm I love every inch of your body." He was rather proud of himself for making her feel this good. She moved her hips against his hand.

He smiled and carried on moving his fingers. "A little impatient today, aren't we?"

''Faster.'' She breathed. He did as she told him, more than willingly. Her moans grew louder. He started sucking on her neck, another hickey appearing on her skin. ''If you continue that you'll have no other spot for tomorrow.'' She breathed out. He chuckled. "But I love your neck." He placed his lips back on her skin, sucking on another spot.

''Der, stop.''

"Fine fine fine." He placed a soft kiss on her neck, then one on her jaw.

''Der?''

"Hmm?" He softly kissed her on the lips.

''Go down on me?'' She asked, biting on her bottom lip unsure. Derek smiled softly. "You want me to go down on you?" She nodded. He pecked her lips twice, "Anything for you." She smiled at him. Derek slowly removed his fingers, kissing her neck, then her collarbone, then between her breasts. She closed her eyes again. He carried on going south, kissing her stomach, slipping his tongue into her belly button teasingly. She let out a moan, her hands in his hair instantly. He spread her legs a little wider and spilled kisses on her pelvis. She felt her body tensing up. He kissed her inner thigh before he ran his tongue over her clit once.

''Oh.'' She moaned. He smirked at her response and repeated his actions.

She tightened her legs. He grinned again and then slowly licked her, only once. ''Derek.'' She gasped. Derek slipped his tongue into her without any warning. She moaned out loudly, bucking her hips. He tried hard not to laugh, focusing on what he was doing. She ran her fingers through his hair. He started to move his tongue inside of her. She moaned loudly.

After a while Derek replaced his tongue with two of his fingers, letting his tongue focus on her clit. She could feel that she was getting really close. He curled his fingers inside of her, hitting her G-spot. Her hips practically flew off of the bed as he did so. He gasped in surprise. ''Derek!'' She cried out in pleasure as her orgasm washed over her. He carried on the movement of his fingers until she came down from her high. She was still breathing heavily as her body lay spend against the mattress. He gently removed his fingers, looking up to her. "So...?"

''So what?'' She smiled down at him.

"So... liked it?" He asked a little unsure as he slowly moved upwards.

''Of course I did, you know that.'' She kept smiling.

He smiled as well and pressed a small kiss on her lips. "Am I forgiven now?" He referred to her earlier statement. ''Oh very.'' Her arms were around his neck, smiling widely as she pecked his lips a few times. He chuckled. "I'll keep that in mind the next time I need to apologize." Few more kisses were placed on her lips.

''Good. I love you.''

"I love you too." He pecked her lips again, not getting enough of her.

''Pregnancy makes me horny doesn't it?''

"I think so." He smiled. "Not that I have anything against it."

''Hmm good.''

Derek chuckled. "My horny little Addie." He brushed some hair off her face.

''Shut up.'' She laughed. ''You have school tomorrow.''

"Yeah I do." He screwed up his face.

''You better go sleep then.''

He didn't want to move. "I don't want tooo."

''Hmm why not?''

"Because I want to do funny things with you."

''Funny things?'' She laughed.

He shrugged before smirking. "Funny things."

''Like?''

"Like this" He gently kissed her. "And like this." He rolled them over on the bed and took her face into his hands. She kissed him lovingly. He kissed her back, his hands moving up and down her back. She smiled against his lips. He smiled as well. "I love your lips."

''I love yours too.''

"You like my lips on yours?" He kissed her again.

''Hmhmm, very much.'' She mumbled and then pulled back. ''Honey you should really sleep.'' She stroked his cheeks.

"But I'm not even tired" He held back a yawn.

''You should try to.''

"Fine, fine, fine." He sighed and pressed one more kiss on her lips. She smiled, giving him a kiss before rolling off of him.

"We should get dressed." He draped an arm around her waist. She nodded, pulling her panties on. He searched for his boxers, after a while finding them. She pulled her pyjamas back on. Soon he was dressed in boxers and slipped back under the covers. ''Night.'' She pecked his lips. He pecked her lips back and wrapped his arms around her warm body. "Good night."

''Sweet dreams.'' She snuggled against him. "You too." He smiled happily, hugging her close to him, closing his eyes. ''Thanks.'' She closed her eyes as she drifted off to sleep, not a clue about what was waiting for her tomorrow.


	11. Tickling, Making up and Fighting

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 11 – Tickling, Making up and Fighting_

**a promise is forever, at least that's what they say. Welcome to reality, they're broken everyday.**

The next morning Derek woke up to the sound of the alarm clock. He groaned, pressing the snooze-button. He opened his eyes as his hand hit an empty spot, feeling it was still warm which indicated Addison wasn't up long. He mumbled something in a hoarse voice and stretched his back before getting up from the bed. He rubbed his face as he sat on the edge of the bed, hearing laughter coming from the children's room. He got up curiously and walked towards his children's room. Pushing the door open he saw Hailey, Justin and Addison all laying in Justin's bed laughing and playing. Derek chuckled at the sigh, wondering how he'd make it through the day without his family by his side.

"Goof morning." He said cheerfully, though he knew that in an hour he'd be alone at school, sitting on an uncomfortable chair, listening to some professor that must have been from the stone-age.

''Good morning yourself.'' Addison laughed as both children were tickling her.

''Morning daddy!'' Hailey yelled.

"MORNING!" The kids continued the tickling.

"Hey is that so fair? Two against one!" Derek laughed at them before he started to tickle Justin. ''Haha!'' Addison grinned in victory as she moved her lips to her daughter's ear. ''Hey Bug, wanna tickle daddy?'' She whispered. Hailey grinned excitedly and attacked, her fingers starting to tickle his stomach. Addison laughed, jumping on her husband's back.

"GIRLS!" He exclaimed, starting to laugh. Justin started to tickle him as well. "No this is not fair!!"

''Oh it isn't?'' Addison laughed, still on his back as she tried to push him down.

"I was on your side and you go and have a conspiracy against me?!" He laughed against Justin's pillow.

''Hmhmm.'' She finally pushed him down flat on the bed, tickling his sides as Hailey tickled his feet.

"NOO!" He wriggled under her. "Noo!" Justin was tickling his other foot with Hailey, an excited smile on his face. "NO, NO, NO!"

This only made them laugh harder as Addison sat on his butt so he couldn't move away.

"You are a mean woman!!" He bit on the pillow so that he wouldn't laugh too loudly.

''Oh you love us!''

"When you're not tickling me yes!" He laughed loudly as Justin tickled harder.

''Say the magical word!''

"STOP PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!" Derek tried again and again, laughing harder.

''Who are the best?''

"YOU!" Derek bit down on the pillow, trying to escape at the same time.

''Who's stronger??''

"ME!" Derek yelped, that one she wasn't going to give up. Addison started tickling his most ticklish spot.

He hit the mattress with his fists. "HELP! ANYONE!!"

''Wrong answer!'' She started tickling him harder.

"NOOO!" Derek hit her thigh gently. "Addison no! NO!"

''Say it!''

"NEVER!" He laughed.

''Then we won't stop!'' Hailey started tickling under his arms. Derek somehow managed to shift, so that he was on his back. "NO!" STOP STOP STOP!"

''No say it!'' They kept tickling him madly.

"YOU ARE! YOU ARE!!" He laughed loudly, arching his back. "Just stop it! Please!"

''Say it again, fully!''

"YOU ARE THE STRONGEST JUST STOP!" He was gasping for air. She laughed hysterically, stopping with tickling him. He took a deep breath when the kids stopped, following their mother's example. "I hate you Addison!" He exclaimed.

''Of course you do.'' She laughed and felt on top of him.

He pouted his lips together, pulling Addison closer and whispering into her ear. "I'll so get my revenge."

''Mhm how?'' She laughed as Hailey climbed on her back.

"Like I'm telling that to you!" He faked shocked, pulling Justin to lay next to him. Addison laughed as Hailey started playing with her hair.

"Good morning." Derek pecked Addison's lips.

''Morning honey.''

"Hmm we have any coffee?" He kissed her quickly.

''Yes, after you make some we do.''

He screwed up his face. "You didn't make any breakfast for meee?"

''I just woke up!''

"But you're a super wife!"

''Oh am I?'' She laughed.

"Yes you are!" Derek grinned.

''Hmm sorry to disappoint you now.''

"You're not a super wife?" He looked shocked.

''Nopes.''

He smiled. "I love you anyway, now off of me, I need to get some coffee and I need to get myself ready for school."

''Get off of me, I don't think I have ever heard you say that before.''

He chuckled. "There's always a first time, now. Would you be a doll and move your pretty butt off of me so that I can get myself ready?"

''Fine.'' She rolled her eyes. ''Bug baby, you need to move off of mommy.''

"Fine." Hailey rolled her eyes as well and dropped to the bed next to Justin. Addison chuckled, moving off of her husband before picking Hailey up again. Derek let out a dramatic sigh of relief before grinning and getting up. Hailey and Justin now both lay on top of her.

"I'll make some breakfast." Derek placed a kiss on the top of Addison's head. Justin made a face once again.

''Thanks honey.''

"Hmm welcome." Derek made one more smile before he left the room.

"Daddy said we could watch the movie with the fish!" Justin said excitedly once Derek left.

"Yeah tonight when daddy is back from school and we have had dinner.''

"Yay! I like the fish!"

"Me too!" Hailey yelped and grinned. Addison chuckled. ''Well guess what,''

"What?!" Hailey looked at her eyes wide open.

''Mommy will make what you two want tonight for dinner.''

"PASTA!" Justin grinned, instantly thinking about a pasta sauce-river.

''You had pasta last night!''

"But pasta is good!"

''You can't eat the same thing twice.''

"Why not?" Justin asked innocently. "We've eaten lasagne, can we never eat it again?" His eyes widened.

''No I mean in the same week.'' She chuckled at the shocked boy.

''I like lasagne!'' Hailey threw her arms around her mother.

"ME TOO." Justin grinned widely and hugged his mother. "Can we have lasagne, please, please?!"

''Okay.'' Addison smiled, stroking both their backs. ''But mommy needs to eat healthy for the baby.''

"Why?" Hailey screwed up her face.

"Salad is yuck!" Justin yelled.

''Well the baby needs to grow and be healthy.'' She explained to her daughter. ''And Jussie, everything that is healthy you don't like.''

"But salad is for bunnies!" Jussie crossed her arms in front of his chest.

''It is not.'' Addison couldn't help but laugh.

"Daddy said so!" Justin pouted his lips together.

''Daddy says a lot.''

"But daddy's word is law..." Justin rolled his eyes.

''It's not.'' She laughed.

"But I'm supposed to listen to daddy!"

''Well you're supposed to listen to mommy as well.''

"I do." He blinked his eyes.

''Who do you listen better to?''

"Daddy..?" Justin looked unsure.

''And why?''

"Daddy has a louder voice." Justin furrowed his eyebrows together.

''Why do you think you don't have to listen to mommy?''

The boy shrugged.

''Justin,''

He shrugged again. "I dunno.."

She gave him a look. Justin didn't look at his mother. The little girl broke the silence. "I listen to mommy!"

''You do sweetie.'' Hailey actually did. Hailey grinned proudly and pecked her mother's cheek and Justin just looked ashamed.

''Justin you need to learn to listen to me.''

The boy just nodded. "Can we go see daddy?"

''No daddy has to get ready for school.''

The boy got up from the bed and crossed his arms in front of his chest.

''Justin,'' Addison warned her son. Justin uncrossed his arms and sat on the carpet, looking up to his mother.

''What are you doing?''

"Playing." He shrugged and started to toy the fluffy carpet. Addison sighed. ''Get on the bed please.'' Justin crawled on the bed slowly. She took him into her arms. Justin wrapped his arms around her. "Sorry momma."

''It's okay baby, I'm not mad but you're upsetting me when you don't listen to me, okay?''

The boy blinked his eyes. "Okay."

''I love you.'' She gave him a kiss on his head. "Me too momma." He hugged her hugged her close and Hailey wrapped her arms around Justin as well. Addison smiled at them. ''Are you excited about having a sibling?''

"I have Hails." Justin shrugged and kept his arms around his mother.

''So you don't want another one?''

"I didn't say so.."

''Well do you or not?''

"Well yeah..." Justin smiled a little. "But I don't have to share my toys, right?" He asked concerned.

''No you don't.'' She laughed. ''But do you like it?''

Justin nodded excitedly.

"ME TOO MOMMY!" Hailey yelped and smiled broadly.

''Do you want a little brother or sister?''

"Sister!" Hailey smiled widely again, leaning her head on her hand like she was dreaming.

"Noo, a boy!" Justin argued.

''Did you already think of a name?''

"Justin Jr!" Justin instantly answered.

''No!'' Addison laughed.

"Sparkle!" Hailey suggested excitedly. Addison laughed, looked like they inherited Derek's baby name fashion, thinking back how he was set on naming Justin Derek Jr. and Hailey Derika. Hailey smiled widely. "Do you like it mommy? Or then she could be Princess Bubble! BUBBLE is a cute name!"

''Honey, the baby won't be named Sparkle or Bubble.''

"Oh." She looked disappointed. "What about Pink? Or Marshmallow?!"

''No.'' Addison couldn't help but laugh.

"Rainbow!" Hailey grinned at this new suggestion, nodding.

''We'll see.'' Addison tried not to laugh.

"Okay." Hailey smiled widely and gently rubbed her own face. Addison smiled at her little girl, giving her a peck on the lips. Hailey pecked her back quickly. "I want to give daddy a hug before he goes."

''Then let's go downstairs.''

"Yay!" Hailey grinned and got up from the bed, starting to jump up and down. Addison chuckled and picked up both kids.

"Daddyyyy" Justin called when they walked out of the room. Addison walked them downstairs. Derek was in the kitchen, listening to his iPod, making himself sandwiches. "All I know is you're sure looking good in my shirt..." He sang along quietly. Addison chuckled and let the kids down to the floor. Hailey looked at her dad with an amused smile on her face. "I don't have daddy's shirt on..."

"You look good in my shirt..." He tapped the table to the rhythm of the music. Addison watched him smiling as Hailey and Justin attacked his legs.

"What the--?" Derek was taken by surprise, he pressed pause instantly.

''Watch your language.'' His wife warned.

"I meant what in the world." Derek made a smile, picking up Hailey.

''Uhuh.'' She smiled amused as Justin still tucked on his jeans.

"You're going to pull them down if you keep doing that." Derek grinned and picked up the other twin as well. Justin wrapped his arms around his daddy. ''Dada do you have to go to school today?''

"Yeah I have to go to school today." Derek gave Justin a small kiss on the tip of his nose.

''Can't you stay home with us?''

"I'd want to but daddy has to learn."

''Why?"

"Daddy will become a doctor so daddy has to lean a lot."

''Why are you becoming a doctor?''

"Daddy wants to help people." He smiled softly.

''Will you be home then?''

"Daddy has to work then, but daddy will be home as much as possible."

''Can we watch Nemo tonight?''

"Yeah we can watch Nemo."

''Yay!''

He laughed and placed his kids on the floor. "Daddy will be back after school, you two can have fun with mommy."

''Can I play with my car then?''

"Ask that from mommy okay?" Derek carried on making his sandwiches.

''Okay! Will nana come today?''

"I don't know sweetie, that's up to nana." Derek made a small smile.

''Can I go to school with you?''

Derek chuckled. "You're still a little boy, you can't come to medical school."

''I'm almost three!!'' He looked shocked.

"Yes you are but people in medical school are over 20 years old." Derek nodded looking serious.

''Oh that's old!''

"Are you telling me I'm old?" Derek faked shock.

''Yeah you're my daddy.''

"I am not OLD, Addie, I'm not old, right?" Derek looked at his wife.

''You're not old.''

''Blake's daddy is old, he has grey hair!'' Justin said.

"Blake's daddy is old!" Derek smiled. "I'm not."

''Why is his daddy old and you're not?''

"Well his daddy and mommy were older when they had Blake." Derek played with Justin's hair after he finished his sandwiches.

''Why?''

"I don't know sweetie." Derek took a bite of his sandwich.

''Momma is gonna make lasagne today!''

"Ooh I'd like to have some lasagne too, mommy makes the best lasagne ever, doesn't she?" Derek grinned and took a large bite.

''Uhuh!''

Derek smiled widely and motioned towards the table. "Jussie, Bug, there are cheese sandwiches on the table for you."

Hailey ran into the kitchen from the living room. Justin ran towards the table as well, grabbing a sandwich while Derek pressed his lips against Addison's. "I made two sandwiches for you too if you're hungry."

''Hmm why two?''

"One for you, one for the baby." He pecked her lips once before taking another bite of his sandwich. She smiled. ''Thanks for the consideration but I'll save them for later, I'm feeling a little nausea.''

"Aw, sorry for that." He pecked her lips again after he had swallowed the bread.

''Hmhmm.''

"I'm gonna be late if I don't go now." He informed with a sad smile after looking at his watch.

''Yeah, have fun.''

"You too, see you after school." Derek finished his sandwich, walking towards the table. "Okay, I have to go to school now."

''Okay see you.'' She gave him a kiss. Derek smiled at her and then dropped a kiss on both of the children's lips. "Behave, both of you."

''We always do daddy!'' Hailey pouted her lips.

"I know you do." Derek smiled softly before leaving the room, kissing Addison once more. "See you later, I'll call you during the lunch."

''You better.''

''Bye McDreamy!'' Hailey suddenly yelled. Derek turned around, looking at his two-year-old. "What did she just say?" Addison looked at her daughter, who simply ate her sandwich like nothing had happened, in shock.

"Addie, did she just call me... McDreamy?" Derek furrowed his eyebrows together, what in the world was that about?

''I think so...'' How could she know?! They only said that at school.

"Wow I guess I really am McDreamy." Derek quickly pecked Addison's lips.

''Shut up.''

"Nuh uh." He gently brushed her cheek. "I'll call you."

''Mhm now go.''

"I love you." He smiled, pecking her lips once more.

''I love you too McDreamy.''

Derek smiled widely before he left the room and soon they heard the front door close.

''Sweeties?'' Addison called.

"Yeah?" Justin looked at his mother, the sandwich hanging from his mouth.

''I'm gonna get you two dressed now.''

"But I'm not ready with my sandwich!" Justin stuck some more sandwich into his mouth.

''Then finish it.''

He nodded quickly while Hailey clapped her hands together as a sign she was ready. "I'm ready mommy!"

''Good girl.'' She placed a kiss on her daughters head, cleaning up her plate. ''Drink your milk up honey.''

Hailey nodded and gulped down the glass off milk. Justin finally finished his sandwich, drinking the milk as fast as he could.

''Hey, hey. Slow down.''

But Justin had already drank it all and was now grinning.

''Well since you're done already, let's go upstairs.''

"YAY!" Justin grinned widely, just then the door bell rang.

''Oh, looks like we have a visitor!''

Justin grinned widely and got up from the chair at the same time with Hailey. Both of the twins made their way towards the door.

''Don't open yet!'' She said as she walked towards the door. Hailey leaned against the door, knocking on it. "Please momma can I open it?? Please?"

''No.'' She picked her daughter up, opening the door herself. Hailey pouted but soon grinned widely. "Nana!"

''Theresa.'' Addison said dryly, and un-amused look on her face.

"Hi Hailey." Theresa made a smile before looking at Addison. "I think it's time for us to talk."

''Why?''

"Because I feel terrible and I need to talk to you." She said calmly and then smiled at Justin. "Hey Jussie." Addison sighed and stepped aside. "Thanks" Theresa entered the house and started to shrug off her coat. Addison closed the door and walked into the kitchen. Theresa hung her coat and then followed her daughter-in-law into the kitchen. Addison put Hailey down on the ground and told her to go play with her toys. "Okay!" Hailey smiled widely and took Justin's hand. "Let's go play!" Justin giggled excitedly and ran into the living room, putting a small smile on Addison's lips as she watched them. A small smile tugged at Theresa's lips before she sat down. Addison leaned against the counter and crossed her arms.

"I was wrong, what I did was incredibly wrong and I didn't mean to be disrespectful. I was wrong, sorry. I hope that somehow you and I can work this out."

Addison looked at the floor.

"I'm sorry Addison, I do respect your decisions. I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. Would you like to say something? I'm kind of pouring my heart over here.

''Oh so that means I have to as well?!''

"No I didn't say so, just say something that I know you're listening to me."

''I don't have to listen to you, no one ever listens to me either.''

Theresa sighed. "Fine. Well I'm just saying I'm sorry for not listening to you and I was kind of hoping that we could talk things straight, get it over with."

''What things?''

"Well about what happened yesterday."

''Go ahead.''

"Well I'm sorry for yesterday, I didn't mean to do it in the first place. I know I have a problem with saying no to them. And I guess I'm also sorry for letting you down."

''Okay.''

Theresa nodded. "Well that's basically what I wanted to say."

''Okay.'' Addison said again.

Theresa shrugged. "Okay then."

Addison wrapped her arms around herself.

"So could we talk about this?"

''What's there to talk about?''

"Well us."

Addison raised her eyebrow.

"Okay, came out totally wrong. Well we should talk about yesterday, that's the only way to get over it."

''Go ahead."

"I've tried to talk about it with you and you just say okay every time. You have to meet me the halfway Addison."

''Well what do you want me to say?''

"Anything. How do you feel?"

''Like crap.''

"Okay and what could we do about it?"

''Nothing.''

"Nothing? Are you sure?"

''Yes.''

"Well what made you feel like crap?"

''Nothing you should be worrying about.''

"Uhm okay." The truth was that she would worry about this.

''I'm sorry about overreacting like that yesterday and I think that you are great with the twins but I'm just stressed out lately.''

"Yeah with the...almost-divorce thing, I get it. I bet it's hard on you and a baby on the way...I get it really. Well not get it get it as in understanding what you go through but as in getting that you have a right to be a little stressed out." She said all that in a one breath.

''Yeah so I just got upset yesterday okay, no one ever listens to me or cares about what I say.'' Addison sighed.

"You can talk to me if you want to. I'm a good listener."

''I don't want to talk about this.''

"Okay. Well if you ever want to, I'm just a phone call away"

''Yeah it's just...we're not the same Theresa, it's not like it was in the past.''

"Yeah?" Theresa looked at her sadly.

''I'm sorry, it's just not.''

"Yeah." Theresa let out a small sigh. "Things change."

Addison nodded, she and Theresa used to talk about everything and anything, they were like mother and daughter, best friends, that all changed somehow.

"Well anyway... I just wanted to drop by and tell you that I'm sorry for yesterday." She got up from the chair.

''It's okay.''

"Okay, good so we're okay?"

''Yeah, I think so right?''

Yeah I think so too, so uhm yeah."

''Yeah...''

"So I'm here if you need me." Theresa sighed and started to walk out of the room.

''I need you.''

"What?" Theresa looked at her.

''I need you here.''

"Yeah? What is it?"

''I wanna go to school.''

"Okay. So you need me to babysit?"

She nodded her head a little.

"Okay, sure, what time will you be back? Have they ate anything yet?" Theresa switched from a regretting-woman-mode to a mother-mode.

''I haven't.''

"Oh, you should take something, you'll starve to death before lunch-time."

''If I go now I'll be on time to catch a second class.''

"Take a sandwich with you, okay?"

''I'll get something at the cafeteria.''

"Okay." Theresa nodded.

''You don't have to do this mom...''

"Do what? Help you with the kids? Gabriel is at work, I'd be home all alone."

''Still, I bet you'd like to have some time for yourself.''

"I hate to just sit around in the house, you know that. And I'm not even good at gardening, so I wouldn't do that. I don't have anything better to do Addie."

''I just feel like I'm dumping them on you.''

"You're not Addison, now chop chop go to school we'll be just fine."

''Thanks mom.'' Addison gave her a smile.

"No problem." Theresa smiled back to her, she was glad to spend time with her grandchildren. Addison walked over to her and gave her a hug.

Theresa hugged her back tightly, as close as she could. "I'm glad we're okay."

''Yeah me too.'' She closed her eyes. Theresa closed her eyes as well and enjoyed the moment.

''Hey mom, I have a question.''

"Yeah?" She pulled back slightly

''This Phoebe person, who is she?''

"Phoebe? You mean my niece?" Theresa looked at her slightly confused.

''Yeah.''

"What do you need to know about her? She's a good girl, well a good woman."

''Derek mentioned she's a nanny.''

"Yeah she is, from what I've heard she's a pretty great one."

''Oh..''

"Why? Are you thinking about hiring her or something?"

''Derek was.''

"Okay, what do you think about it then?" Theresa knew Addison didn't trust her children to a stranger.

''I don't want a stranger to look after my kids.''

"I know you don't, but I'm here when you need me."

''I know, thanks mom.''

"It's nothing, now go say bye to your children and get yourself to the school."

''I will, I will.'' Addison smiled at her, walking into the living room.

Theresa followed her soon, a smile on her face. Hailey was sitting on top of Justin, tickling him lightly before pretending to bite him. "And then the lion eats the snake!! See!?"

''Hey, don't eat up your brother!'' Addison joked.

"I'm not mommy it was a play!" Hailey grinned and rolled off of Justin.

''Oh, wow, you fooled me there!''

"I would never eat Jussie!" Hailey giggled. "Unless I was REALLY REALLY hungry."

''Hey!!'' She laughed. ''Sweeties give mommy a hug, I'm going to school.''

"You too?!" The twins exclaimed, their smiled fading.

''Yes sorry, nana is gonna stay with you.'' She bent down to their level. Justin wrapped his arms around Addison's neck. "Can we still watch Nemo this evening?"

''Of course honey, I promised that.''

"Yay!" Justin hugged her tighter. "Bye momma!"

"Bye momma!" Hailey hugged her as well.

''Bye babies.'' She gave both of them a kiss. Hailey smiled widely and laid back on the floor and Justin did the same. Addison smiled at them and went to get her books. Theresa walked to the kids and laid on her back as well, looking at the ceiling. Hailey crawled on top of her grandma. ''I'm a lion nanna!''

"Oh you are? How do lions roar, like this? Grauh." She tried, it was more like a baby tiger than a lion.

''Noooo! It's like: Wroaaaaar!''

"Wroar?" Theresa tried quietly. "Can I be a lion too?"

''You can be the grandma lion!''

"Yay! A grandma lion! Wroarrrrrr" Theresa chuckled softly. "What is Jussie then?"

''Jussie is a snake!''

"A snake?" Theresa smiled.

"YES! SHHHHHHH!" Justin stuck out his tongue, trying to move it like a snake. Hailey giggled just when her mom, now clad in a jeans and a top, came down the stairs.

"Shhh." Theresa grinned widely, "Can I be some sort of a snake-lion-mix? Snalion!"

Both kids giggled loudly.

"It was an actual question! I can go all: Shhoar!"

''Great going mom.'' Addison shook her head. ''See you later!''

Theresa laughed. "I'm not going insane!"

''Uhuh.'' She called after her.

"Bye!" Theresa yelled before she heard the front door close.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A little while after that, Addison arrived at school and walked through the hallway, people giving her odd looks. There was whispering, she couldn't hear what they said but she was sure it was gossip. Did people know she was pregnant? Was it about the almost divorcing Derek? She tried to shrug it off, trying her best to block them out. She couldn't help but feel uncomfortable, she walked quicker and quicker until she finally recognized a familiar face, fast walking towards her best friend Milla. Milla had a weird smile on her face, of course she was happy too see Addison but... Addison probably had no idea what was going on behind her back.

''Mil what's going on?'' Addison hissed as she reached her.

"What do you mean, nice to see you by the way." Milla shifted uncomfortably.

''Well this can't be my imagination.''

"What are you talking about Addie?"

''People are looking at me, do I have something in my hair?'' She suddenly turned body conscience. ''Shit they know I'm pregnant right?!''

"You're pregnant?!" Milla looked at her shocked, great, Derek's in a lot of trouble. Her eyes widened. ''That isn't what they're talking about is it...?'' She pulled an apologizing face.

"Well no it's not that..." Milla gulped, should she tell or just for once keep her mouth shut?

''Mil what's going on?!''

"Well let's go somewhere more private." She finally caved in. Addison walked into a bathroom with her.

"So uhm I don't know how to put this but... remember Nicole? The slut?"

''Yes.'' Addison rolled her eyes, not wanting to think back at that.

"Well anyway, she's pregnant.... it's apparently Derek's lovechild."

''What?!'' Addison's eyes were wide open. ''What?!''

"Uhm yes, she's 3 months along, with Derek's child... Addison I'm so sorry."

Addison stared at her, her lips moved without making an actual sound as tears filled her eyes. ''No...I-- I'm pregnant. With Derek's child.''

"Honey, I swear to god I'm going to kill him. He's such a jerk!" Milla looked at her friend who was clearly in shock.

''But...'' She couldn't bring out anything. ''They only kissed...she kissed him....'' She said almost like a kid.

"Well apparently it was more than just kissing. I'm so sorry Addison." She wrapped her arms around her best friend. Addison clasped her hand in front of her mouth, tears pouring down her face.

"Shh it'll be okay, you don't have to talk to him, he's an ass, he's nothing. He's... a cheating bastard!" Milla smoothed her back.

''He lied.'' She sobbed.

"You don't have to see him ever again." Milla tried to hold her as close as she could.

''I'm having his baby.''

"He lost the rights when he cheated on you."

Addison cried on her shoulder. ''I can't believe this.''

"Shh it'll be alright, you'll be better off without him."

She shook her head, her whole body trembling.

"Shh... you don't need Derek."

''I need to go see him.''

"Why Addison? He's an ass and clearly doesn't think straight! He doesn't know what he wants! He's Derek. He's a jackass!"

''I need to let him know I'm done with this.'' She pulled away, looking into the mirror as she removed the mascara streaks on her cheeks.

"Oh. What are you going to do?"

''I don't know yet.''

"Oh. But you're ending it, right?"

''If it's true,'' She looked at herself in the mirror. ''If it's true I will.''

"Honey, not to crush your hopes but Nicole yelled at him, in the back of the classroom..."

''What did she say?''

"Well she blamed him for knocking her up and Derek instantly denied it, of course." Milla snorted. Addison winced, putting her hand over her eyes. Milla's eyes widened and she hugged Addison from behind. "I'm so sorry, Derek doesn't deserve you, really."

''Do you know where he is?''

"Nope, he rushed out of the class after their argument, I bet he's somewhere with Mark."

'I'm gonna call Mark.''

"Okay, are you sure you want to talk to McJerk... I mean Derek, now?"

''Yeah.'' She took out her phone, dialling Mark's number.

"Ads?" Mark answered the phone, worry evident in his voice.

''Where is he?''

"You know?"

''Oh I fucking know!''

"Ouch, no need to yell at me, he's near-by the cafeteria, a closet. I can't get him out of there, he's not responding to anything."

''I'm going to kill him.''

"Hurry then, I might have killed him first." Mark said through his teeth, Derek was his friend but damn... he was a mess. He wasn't even a half a man he used to be.

''I'm going to grab his fucking balls out.'' She said angrily as she started walking towards the cafeteria.

"Ouch, I might have strangled him but I think I'll let you do what you want."

''Did you know about this??''

"NO! I had no fucking idea until that chick demanded him to take care of his love child!"

''I can't believe this, I can't fucking believe this!'' She turned into an empty hallway. ''I'm pregnant!''

"What?! He's in trouble!" Mark started knocking on the door furiously. "DEREK SHEPHERD GET YOUR FUCKING ASS OUT OF THE CLOSET!"

Addison hurried her steps. Mark carried on hitting the door.

Soon Addison found Mark. ''Shepherd you better get the fuck out of there. right. now.''

There was still no response. Inside the closet Derek was desperately trying to think. He couldn't be the baby's father!

''I swear to god I'll come and get you, I'm absolutely FURIOUS.''

Addison. Derek knew she was there, Derek knew she knew and he also knew she didn't know the whole truth. He made his way towards the door.

''Derek I'm serious!''

He slowly opened the door, staring into his wife's eyes She looked at him in anger, punching him in the face. He yelped loudly, his hand flying to his cheek. "OW!"

''You fucking bastard!''

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" He instantly defended himself. Addison was pushed aside and it was Mark's turn. Mark swung his fist towards him, hitting his nose, knocking him down to the floor.

''And that's why she is pregnant?!''

Derek lay on the floor, holding his nose that started bleeding. "WE DIDN'T HAVE SEX!"

Addison had to hold back her tears. ''Go outside.''

Mark nodded, kicking Derek once and spit on the floor before leaving. "I despise you Derek."

Addison walked outside.

"Addison wait!" Derek tried. She ignored him.

"Addison!" He called behind her. "I didn't do it!"

''Liar!''

"I am not lying! I didn't have sex with her!" He got up, the blood messing his shirt.

''Then why is she pregnant?!'' She cried.

"I don't know Addison, she's a slut but I didn't have sex with her!"

Addison shook her head sobbing. ''I don't believe you.''

Derek started walking closer. "I didn't have sex with Nicole, I wouldn't have sex with anyone else but you."

''Have you got any idea what you're doing to me?!''

"Honestly? No! I haven't had sex with her! She's lying!"

''Why?! Why would she be lying?!''

"I don't know! She's jealous?! I have no fucking idea what's going on in her head and I don't even want to know! I can't fucking believe she's doing this. It was just a kiss!"

''How am I supposed to believe this?! I'm going home.'' She shook her head. Derek shook his head and caught up with her, grabbing her by her wrist. "Please. I didn't do it."

''Let go of me.''

"Addison, you have to believe me. I didn't have sex with Nicole."

''Let go of my wrist.''

Derek let go. "I didn't have sex with her, Addison please."

She shook her head at him, walking away.

"Addison!" He didn't feel pain anymore, he felt like he had left his stomach into the closet.

''No.''

"ADDISON!" He walked behind her, but someone muscular stepped in front of him.

"Don't you dare." Mark threatened, walking behind Addison. Addison quickly made her way outside. Mark wrapped his arms around her and Derek watched them walk away.

"Let me take you home." Mark said. Addison leaned against him, hot tears making her way down her face.

"He's not worth you." Mark mumbled, his fist aching but it was for a good thing, right?

''I just wanna go home.''

Mark nodded and led her to his car, opening the door for her. "Get in."

She got into the car. He closed the door and walked to the other side, getting onto the driver's seat. Addison buried her head into her lap. Mark gently rubbed her back, swearing to god he'd kill that ass someday.

''I'm pregnant.'' She whispered. ''He's having two babies.''

Mark nodded. "He doesn't deserve either one of them."

''Why did this happen?''

'Because he's an ass' He bit on his cheek to keep himself from saying that. "I don't know, all I know is you don't need him."

''I do need him.''

"He's a jerk, he's my friend but right now he's being a total asshole. You don't need a man like that."

''He's my husband.''

"Addison... I'm not the most sweet-talking man on earth so what I'm going to say will be harsh. Man, he cheated on you and knocked her up. Dump him."

''We're going to have three children.''

"It doesn't change the fact that he cheated."

"He has a tattoo with my name."

"Inappropriate very much. Look, it's a tattoo Addison. It doesn't change what he did."

She shrugged.

"Are you thinking about forgiving him?"

''No...''

"Good, you shouldn't. Obviously he can't hold onto his promises."

''What am I going to do?''

"I don't know Addie, take the kids and move to Miami."

''What?''

"Do something, give him an ultimatum, talk to him, cut him out of your kids' lives."

''He still was in a previous ultimatum and I can't, they're his kids as well.''

"So? He lost his rights when he cheated."

''They're still his children.''

"But he cheated, that doesn't make him a good father."

Addison sighed, rubbing her face. ''Is this really happening?!''

Mark made a sad smile. "Well my fist is aching so... I think it is."

''God...''

"I'm really sorry for you." Mark removed his hand and started the car.

''Yeah well....me too.''

Mark placed a small comforting kiss on his friend's cheek. "I hope it'll get better."

''Thanks Mark, I do too.''

Mark pulled out of the parking lot and headed towards the Shepherd's house.

Inside the building Derek was looking out of the window, he couldn't help but feel a wave of jealousy hit him, green flash in front of his eyes. How could this drama even happen?! He NEVER had sex with that girl! He didn't even want to have sex with her! He never ever thought about her that way! She was a liar and a whore, whore-ish motherfucking liar. This would screw up his entire life. This would make his life a living hell, he'd lose all things that were important to him. He was going to kill this bitch. Rip open her throat, stab her with an umbrella, something painful. She had ruined his life. He had yet again hurt the person he loved more than life itself. He didn't do it on purpose, he would never hurt her like that. He swore to god he'd never hurt her again, but he did, once again. Derek sighed. Where was he going to go?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Across the city, Mark Sloan opened the door of Shepherd's house. He had the spare key, just in case. In case of an emergency and this... this was an emergency. Addison stood next to him like a zombie. ''Mom is home, you can ring the bell.'' Mark opened the door and stepped aside so that Addison could enter the house before him. "I don't ring bells." Addison simply walked inside. Mark stepped in after her and closed the door, he needed to make sure she was going to be alright, physically at least. She walked into the living room. There was no one in the house, apparently Theresa had taken the kids to park. There was a small note on the fridge but Addison nor Mark didn't know about it. She looked around the house.

"Addie?" Mark walked into the kitchen after her.

''They're not here.'' She said, almost confused.

"Maybe Theresa took them out, it's a nice sunny day." for everyone else but Derek and Addison. She looked at the kitchen numbly. ''He's having a baby.''

"Derek? Yeah he's having two babies and deserves neither one of them."

She started crying again.

"I'm sorry Addison." Mark wrapped his arms around Addison, holding her still.

''We have a family.'' She closed her eyes painfully, falling into his embrace.

"Yeah you do." Mark held her close to him, smoothing down her hair.

''Why did he do this?''

"I don't know, I don't know why he did this again, he's... he's unsure and unsteady."

''We're married.''

"He's Derek, Addison, he's Derek. He's an ass, he doesn't know what he wants."

''Why do you think he slept with someone else?''

"Honestly Addison I don't know what's going inside his head and I doubt that I want to. He might have. Well the girl is pregnant."

''I can't stay with him if that baby is his.''

"I know, you shouldn't."

''What am I going to do with this baby?'' She asked quietly.

"Well you are keeping it, right?"

''Am I?''

"Well you were... I think, I don't know. I know this changes things but still."

''I have nothing to offer this baby.''

"So if... if Derek is the father of Nicole's child... you're not having this baby?"

''No.'' She shook her head. ''I-- I just don't know what to do.''

"Yeah? We'll figure it out, I can help you with it."

''How?''

"I don't know, I'll be here to talk and stuff."

''I can't raise three kids under the age of three by myself.''

"You could, and I could help when I have time, I'm sure Milla won't protest either."

''Milla and you are busy enough with your own things.'' She sighed and sat down.

"We can make some time for you and the kids." Mark Sloan, the man who knew nothing about babies offered.

''That's really sweet but no.''

"We can, please Addison, you're not alone in this."

''I still can't believe this is real.''

"I know, I always thought you two would end up together."

''Me too...'' She whispered. Mark gently brushed her hair. "It'll be okay, you're better off without him."

''How can you say that?''

"Well because he doesn't deserve you and I know he's my friend but lately he's been acting like a jerk."

She stared at the wall for a few seconds. ''I wanna go to bed.''

"Go to bed, I'll be here when you wake up."

''Promise?''

"I promise." Mark placed a comforting kiss on the top of her head. "I'll be here when you wake up."

She got up, closing her eyes as she wrapped her arms around him. He closed his eyes as well, focusing all his attention on Addison, she needed him right now. She held him tight, pretending it was Derek, they were the same height, same built, it could be Derek. "It'll be alright." His voice was hoarse and he held her tightly against himself. They stood like this for a few seconds. "I'll tuck you in to bed." Mark whispered and slowly pulled away from her. She nodded. He nodded as well and began to lead her out of the room.

About thirty minutes later when Addison had been put to bed the front door opened and excited children's voices could be heard. Mark's head shot up from the magazine he had been reading in the living room, the kids were back. He slowly got up and walked into the hall. Theresa didn't notice him as she was taking off Hailey's coat but Justin did. ''Uncle Mark!'' He yelled excitedly.

"Justin, you've grown up so much!" Mark grinned and captured the little boy into his arms.

''Oh Mark, you scared me!'' Theresa put her hand over her chest.

''I'm almost three!''

"Sorry Theresa, I promise not to do it again." Mark gave her a genuine smile before looking at Justin. "Oh really? I should buy you a birthday gift then!"

''I'm almost three too!'' Hailey piped in.

"I know you are honey, you and Justin are twins, that's how I know!" Mark smiled widely.

''What are you doing here? Addi and Der are at school, aren't you supposed to be at school?'' Theresa asked.

"Well yeah but there was this... uhm a dramatic scene." Mark didn't know how to tell this. "Nicole claimed that Derek was the F-A-T-H-E-R of her B-A-B-Y."

''What?!'' Theresa yelled out.

"Uhm yes... at the back of the class. She yelled at him and then he stormed out of the room. Addison is F-U-R-I-O-U-S of course."

Theresa clasped her hand in front of her mouth. ''You have got to be kidding me!''

"No I'm really really sorry but I'm not." Mark gave her a sad look. "And uhm Derek might have a broken nose, and a black eye..."

''Addison beat him up?''

"Well Addison and I did."

''Are you sure this is true?'' Theresa couldn't believe this. She hadn't raised her son like that, was he even capable of doing that?!

"Nicole is three months along and showing and she claims Derek is the father and is now telling him to take care of his love child... so yes." Mark sighed. Theresa looked at Mark in shock. ''Where's Derek, I don't believe that this is true.''

"I don't know, we left him there, Addison needed to get away from him, from school, everyone knows."

''Oh god...''

"Yeah exactly... what the---" Mark looked at Justin and Hailey. "---sock is going on in his mind??"

''I don't believe this, he wouldn't do this.''

"He already kissed that chick. I don't know anymore Thes."

''Where's Addison?''

"In the bed, I tucked her in some time ago."

''Think I can go up?''

"She's really upset and doesn't know what to do. But I think you should go there, talk to her. I can look after the twins while you two talk."

''You sure?''

"Yeah, go talk to her."

''Okay.'' She went upstairs. She knocked silently on the door, not getting a response, pushing open the door. Addison was lying on the bed curled up, staring at the wall in front of her. "Is it true?" Theresa asked quietly as she turned on the lights. Addison didn't respond, she didn't even move, it was like she hadn't even heard her. "Addison?" Theresa looked concerned and walked closer, she needed to know what happened, where her son was and most importantly what was going to happen. Addison continued looking in front of her. Theresa sat on the edge of the bed, turning her body so that she was looking at Addison and her crushed appearance. "Addison? Did he really do it? I mean, it's not like him." Addison just blinked her eyes. "Addison, did my son have sex with this Nicole woman?"

''She's having a baby.'' Was all she said.

"With Derek?" Theresa asked instantly. She still hadn't looked up and after a few seconds she nodded her head. Theresa crawled closer and wrapped her arms around Addison a few moments later. "Are you sure?" She shook her head.

"So Derek could be innocent in this?" There was some hope in Theresa's voice. She shrugged. Theresa nodded silently and buried her head against Addison's shoulder. ''Mom.'' She started. ''My stomach hurts.'' Theresa lifted her head a little. "Where exactly?" Her tone was full of concern. ''Here.'' She placed her hand just below the middle of her stomach. "Are you nauseas?" Theresa placed her hand over Addison's, getting even more worried.

''I don't know, a little.'' Addison's eyes widened. ''What's going on?''

"Addison as hard as it is for you now, but you need to calm down, relax." Theresa was scared to death, her daughter-in-law might have miscarried. Scare was evident in Addison's eyes.

"Uhm Addison this is uncomfortable but I need to... well you might..."

''What?'' She asked scared.

"You might.. be having a miscarriage." Theresa sighed. "But don't worry about it yet, just stay calm and relaxed okay?"

"What?!'' She shot up from the bed. Theresa grabbed her wrists and laid her back on the bed. "Addison. Please." Addison started crying.

"Shh calm down for the baby please." Theresa took her face in her hands. "Shh... take deep breaths."

Addison tried to calm down, taking deep breaths, her stomach still hurting in an unusual way. Theresa nodded slowly, brushing her cheeks with her thumbs. "That's good... that's really good..."

''Do I need to go to the hospital?''

"We'll see... if this is what we think this is, then afterwards we should." Theresa breathed deeply.

''Afterwards?'' She looked shocked. ''After what?''

"We need to check if this is a miscarriage Addison, we can't be sure. It could be something else."

''Like what?''

"I don't know Addison, this might sound weird but... are you spotting?" Theresa asked with a sigh.

''I don't know?''

Theresa pulled off the covers. Addison got up. Theresa looked at the mattress, it wasn't unusual, nothing was different. "Well the mattress is clean."

''I want to go to the doctor.''

"I'll take you there."

''I need Derek.''

"Do you want to call him?"

''No.'' Tears welled up in her eyes.

"I'm here for you okay, let's go see a doctor." Theresa got up from the bed as well.

''But I need Derek.'' She cried. Theresa wrapped her arms around Addison. "Shh you have me now. You'll see him later, right now we need to make sure that you and the baby are both okay."

''No.'' She shook her head. ''I need my husband.''

"Addison, do you want me to call him?"

She nodded her head unsure.

"Okay, I'll call Derek." Theresa slowly nodded. Addison looked at her. ''Where are my kids?''

"They're with Mark, he's taking care of them."

She nodded, wiping away her tears.

"Okay, we'll call from the car okay, let's go see a doctor." Theresa pulled Addison closer to her. Addison nodded. They slowly made their way out of the room, not hurrying since Theresa knew Addison's stomach was still probably aching. Addison walked slowly, one hand on her stomach.

"Still hurting?" Theresa asked in a whisper.

''Yeah.'' She closed her eyes.

"Lean against me." Theresa pulled her closer as they started to walk down the stairs. Addison leaned on Theresa for support.

"It'll be okay." She reassured her daughter-in-law, holding her as close as she could.

''I need him here.''

"We'll call him." She promised and smoothed down her hair with her other hand. "Mark?" Theresa called.

''Yeah?'' He called back from the living room where he was playing with the kids.

"Can you watch the kids for few hours we gotta drop by at the H-O-S-P-I-T-A-L." Theresa replied, grabbing Addison's coat.

''What why?!''

"Her stomach is hurting, she's stressed she might have a...." Theresa didn't want to say it, bring bad juju.

''A what?''

"A miscarriage." She finally said, dressing Addison in her coat.

''Oh shit...''

"Exactly so could you watch the kids?" Theresa buttoned Addison's coat warmly.

''Yeah of course.'' Mark said and Addison walked into the living room.

''Mommy!'' Hailey yelled and ran to her.

"Momma!" Justin wrapped his arms around Addison's leg, Theresa was still holding her close so she didn't fall over from the powerful attack on her leg.

"Sweeties, mommy and nana need to go do something, we'll be back later, you can watch TV with uncle Mark okay?" Theresa tried

''Will mommy be back soon?'' Hailey held onto her mother's legs as Addison winced from the pain in her stomach.

"We'll be back as soon as we can." Theresa promised though she was unsure if they could hold onto that promise.

''Where are you going?''

"Well mommy's tummy is hurting a little so we'll go to the doctor to see that everything is alright, which it is."

''Mommy?'' Hailey looked up at her mother worried.

"Mommy's okay, we just have to go to the doctor as fast as we can." Theresa tried to explain, brushing Justin's hair with her other hand.

"Is mommy sick?"

''No I just have a little pain, they're going to look if everything is alright.'' Addison bent down to their level, ignoring the pain it brought with it, pulling on a brave face for them.

"Oh, I'll miss you momma" Justin swung his arms around her neck now.

''Baby mommy will be right back okay?'' She hugged the little boy.

"Okay, will we still watch Nemo? And will you bring ice-cream when you come back?" Justin mumbled against Addison's shoulder.

''Yeah okay.'' She smiled weakly, praying to god that she could. Theresa sighed and held back her tears, she had to be brave too, she gently touched Addison's shoulder, they needed to go. Now. Addison nodded understandingly. ''We will be back soon okay, be good to uncle Mark.'' She gave the both of them a kiss before getting up. Theresa sneaked her arm around Addison's waist, helping her stand. "Don't tease him about the stubble he has grown okay?"

''Hey, it's sexy.'' Mark laughed, defending himself. Theresa smiled a little. "Ego size of the United States." She coughed into her fist. Mark rolled his eyes, laughing, Theresa was like a surrogate mother to him.

"I'll see you later Mark, I'll call you if something changes." She quickly placed a kiss on his cheek, the stubble scratching her cheek.

''Yeah please do so.''

"Will do." She placed another kiss on the other cheek. "Thank you Mark."

''Anytime.'' He said as they left.

''Bye mommy, I loves you!'' Hailey yelled.


	12. Emergencies, Healing and McDonalds

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 12 – Emergencies, Healing and McDonalds._

A while later they were sat at First Emergency. Addison laid with her head against the wall, eyes closed. She couldn't believe this, some kid with a 'hurting' arm went in front of her while she could be loosing her baby! Theresa scanned the room carefully, they had called Derek once they got into car, he was on his way, at least he had told so. She didn't know if she could trust him anymore, well he was her son but still. He had lied too many times or then this Nicole-girl was a liar. Theresa hoped that for Addison's sake he'd show up. Addison kept breathing in deeply, trying to stay calm for the sake of her baby. Theresa grabbed Addison's hand in hers and held it tightly while someone familiar appeared into the room, he had something that resembled a bruise around his eye and his nose looked terrible. She gasped slightly at the sight in front of them. Addison still had her eyes closed, not aware of her husband being in the waiting room.

Derek looked around, searching for a glimpse of red hair, Addison, he needed her to be alright, no , actually what he needed was them to be okay. Theresa looked at her son, giving him a small wave so he would notice her. Derek looked into his mothers eyes before he made his way through the room, passing people that he didn't give a shit about. Theresa gave him a worried look. He looked down to the floor and carried on walking till he reached them. She looked at Addison who still had her eyes closed. "Addison--?" Derek kneeled down, hoping that this time she'd actually talk to him instead of kicking him to the balls or slapping him across his face. Addison opened her eyes, slightly scared by him. "Are you still in pain?" He asked carefully, not knowing how he should act. There weren't any rules for this kind of situations. She nodded. "Oh... so you really think it's...?" He looked at his mother, trying to ignore his aching nose. Theresa just looked at him, she wasn't going to answer that. ''Derek honey, can I talk to you for a second?'' She asked her son. "Yes mom." He slowly got up, looking at his absolutely miserable wife once more, wondering why the heck no one was doing anything. Theresa gave Addison's hand a small squeeze before she got up. Derek looked down to the floor again, this was certainly not going to be a joyride. She softly grabbed his arm and pulled him to an empty spot. Derek sighed before looking at his mother again.

''Der, please tell me you didn't.'' She looked into his eyes.

"I didn't." He simply stated, looking into her eyes, his eyes piercing hers. "I didn't have sex with Nicole, I don't know who the father is."

''Derek are you sure, I mean absolutely sure that there isn't any chance she could have gotten pregnant of you, any chance at all?''

"There is absolutely no way she could be pregnant with my child." Derek remembered something and a chuckle left his lips. Super sperm, it couldn't be that strong, right?

''What?'' She frowned when he chuckled.

"Addison claims I have super sperm" He tried not to laugh.

''Derek you have nothing to laugh about right now. I believe you okay, I do because you're my son and I don't believe that you'd do something like this and I can see it in your eyes but Addison is freaking out right now and the baby could be in serious distress because of it.''

"I know, I still can't believe this. I just, I didn't have sex with Nicole, I didn't. No one believes me. I am currently losing my wife and my child so yes I'm worried to death."

''Why is she saying that it's your baby then?''

"I don't know, I might have said something to her after the kiss."

''Like?'' She asked immediately.

"Like 'I love my wife and I wouldn't be with you even if you got pregnant with my child' or something like it and I might have... yelled it at her or then option no two, she's just crazy."

Theresa sighed and rubbed her forehead. ''If this continues dare her to get a paternity test and else sue her, this is destroying your marriage and if this continues your career as well.''

"I know this is ruining everything, I worked so hard to deserve back the trust, hell with it I was still on probation. I need Addison. Is she okay? Do you really think she's having a miscarriage?"

''Honey I don't know but I'm really worried, go sit with her okay and talk, calm her down while I make sure they send her in for an examination.''

"Oh, how am I supposed to calm her down? She doesn't even believe me, she thinks I had sex with someone else."

''Tell her you didn't.''

"I have told it to her, many times."

''Then tell her more times, fight for her.''

Derek nodded, he had a hell of a lot to fight for. "Yeah, fight for her."

''You better. After that you're going to get your face checked out.''

"It's not emergent, it's not important at the moment." He was willing to risk his looks for this woman.

''It is, you look horrible, you'll scare the kids, I am not going to let you screw up that gorgeous face of yours.''

A small smile played on his lips. "Yeah well anyway, I have to talk to her, fight for her with all I have."

''Yeah, now go to her while I yell at the lousy staff here.''

Derek nodded and turned around on his heels, starting to prepare himself for what the future might bring. His mind instantly started to prepare a speech as he neared her. Addison felt him nearing though she didn't turn her head, it hurt too much just looking at him. He sighed and sat on the chair next to her that had been warmed by his mother. "I didn't have sex with her, you should know that. I wouldn't have sex with anyone else but you. Never. I don't know why Nicole is claiming that the child is mine, all I know is that it isn't. I don't want to ruin what we have because of this. If you want to we can get a paternity test. I'm sure I'm not the father. I wouldn't have children with any one else but you. I wouldn't tattoo the name 'Nicole' on my arm, I'd tattoo 'Addison Shepherd' even if it meant more letters and more scary needles. Please. You have to believe in me."

''Why is this happening to us?'' She asked with teary eyes. Derek could hear the tears in her voice, it was more quiet and a little shaky. "I don't know, we were supposed to be happy from now on." He wanted to grab her hand but couldn't bring himself to actually do it.

''How do I know you're not lying to me?''

"Because I'm your husband and I'd jump off the rooftop for you. Because I am here, begging for you to believe in me and I'm able to look into your eyes and tell you I didn't do it."

''But then why is she doing this, I don't even know her!'' She cried. From instinct only he grabbed her hand and gave it a squeeze. "I told her I wouldn't be with her even if she got pregnant with my child. Or then... she's mentally ill." Addison opened her mouth to say something but then shut it. Suddenly she realized they didn't have problems, well, at least not major divorcing ones, both times it had been Nicole. Derek gently rubbed the back of her hand. "We can talk about this all later if you want to. Now we'll just focus on breathing okay?"

''My stomach is hurting.''

Derek nodded. "I know, for how long now?" He realised that he might have been the reason why this was happening.

''I don't remember. When I got home.''

"Oh. Well uhm... have you rubbed your stomach? Remember when you used to have those cramps, when we were what...19? I rubbed your stomach and it helped a little... and then there was the chicken soup, and the woollen stockings..?"

She nodded her head, taking his hand as she placed it on her stomach under her shirt. Derek moved a little closer, his hand instantly finding the spot he used to rub, just a little south from the middle of her stomach.

''Your face....'' She looked at him.

"I know, we'll get it fixed later." He mumbled, starting to rub the spot in circles. "Mark hit pretty hard."

''I'm sorry about that...''

Derek nodded and gulped, realising that it was easier for him to breathe now when they were close. "It's nothing, we'll get it fixed." She leaned in and gave his nose a soft kiss, her lips barely touching it. A smile lingered on his lips and he looked into her eyes, their gazes locking. ''I love you.'' She could actually feel her whole body relaxing and calming down, it felt like the baby was finally settling down under his touch. "I love you too" He rested his forehead against hers, studying her eyes as he carried on softly, cautiously rubbing her stomach from the same spot, he could feel her relaxing into his touch, leaning into him. "Is it helping?" He finally asked though he already knew the answer.

''Yeah it really is.'' She said softly.

"Good, I'm glad I still knew what could help." He really was.

She gave him a small smile as her name was being called. ''Addison Shepherd?''

Derek's head shot up and he looked at the direction of the voice. "That's you."

''Yeah.'' She got up.

"You want me to come in with you?" Derek asked, getting up from the chair he had been sitting on.

''Yeah.'' She nodded, holding his hand in hers. He smiled softly before looking around, catching his mother's look. Theresa smiled to herself, Derek was Derek again. She walked towards the nurse who called her, holding Derek close to her. She had made the right choice calling him, she couldn't do this without him. Derek placed his head on top of hers, breathing her in, he was glad that she called him. It showed him exactly how much she needed him.

"Addison Shepherd?" The nurse confirmed.

''Yeah that's me.''

"Okay, follow me please." Nurse Patty made a smile. The two of them followed the nurse in.

"Hi, I'm Dr. Murray." A male doctor with a smile from ear to ear greeted them.

''Addison Shepherd.'' She gave him a small smile.

"Your husband?" The doctor looked at Derek, who returned a small smile.

''Yeah, Derek Shepherd.''

"Nice to meet you." Derek said and shook the doctor's hand.

"As well." Dr. Murray replied with a smile on his face. Addison held onto Derek's other hand with both of hers.

"So I understand you're here because of stomach pains?" The doctor asked as he closed the door behind them.

''Yeah.'' Addison nodded. ''I'm four weeks pregnant.''

"Is this your first pregnancy?"

''No second, I gave birth to twins almost three years ago.''

"Okay." The doctor nodded. "Did you experience anything like this with your first pregnancy?"

''Uhm yeah briefly.''

"Okay, when did this pain start? Today or have you had it for multiple days?" People were foolish, some of them came too late.

''It started today, a few hours ago."

"Okay, what were you doing at the time?"

''Uhm I just came home...'' Was she actually supposed to tell this?

"Okay, nothing abnormal?"

''Well honestly, yes.''

"Yes?" The doctor raised his eyebrows and motioned towards an exam table."

''Well it was something upsetting that freaked me out and made me stress.'' She looked at Derek for a second. Derek returned her gaze for a brief moment before looking down ashamed. "Okay, well your baby could have reacted to that but I'd like to perform a quick examination."

''Okay.'' Addison nodded, laying down on the table.

"Okay." The doctor put on a pair of gloves. "Could you lift your shirt a little and expose your stomach?"

''Yeah.'' She lifted up her shirt.  
"Good, good." Dr. Nick Murray started to examine her stomach while Derek tried to ignore the tingle of jealousy. Addison looked down at her stomach. Derek gave her hand a light squeeze and moved his chair closer to the exam table. Nick Murray carried on doing what he was doing, placing his hands on certain areas on her stomach. Addison studied the doctor's face. He wasn't smiling, either something was wrong with the baby or he was just focusing, this scared Derek.

''Anything?'' She asked him carefully.

"Well as far as I can see it's not a miscarriage." The doctor replied, stopping what he was doing. "But you need to take it slow, relax, take some time off from work."

''I'm in school and have two year old twins, how am I supposed to relax?'' With all this going on right now, she added in her mind.

"For the sake of your baby, you should find a way to relax." The doctor nodded, sure the situation was hard.

''I know.''

He nodded again. "Try taking baths after the twins are asleep, listen to soft music or something. We just need the baby to recover from this stress that the thing which upset you caused."

''If...uh...I came in later, could I have gotten a miscarriage?''

"Well it could have been possible. In early stages of pregnancy if the woman is very stressed, then the body could possibly repulse the fetus, in other words it wouldn't recognize the fetus as a part of the body and then eventually it would come out from the body." The doctor tried to explain. (Credits to Emily who loves, _**loves**_ bio –Milla) Addison closed her eyes, she didn't want to think about that.

"But that's rare, so my advice would be: stop worrying, relax." The doctor made a small smile and took off the gloves. "But the pain has passed, right?" The doctor had realized that Addison wasn't acting like she was hurting.

''Yeah it has, it's a dull pain right now but not the sharp pains like earlier.'' Addison said and then looked up at Derek, it changed when he came.

"Good, sounds like someone managed to relax." The doctor pointed out the obvious. A smile played on Derek's lips, he felt proud of himself at the moment, he had managed to calm her down.

''Yeah, how come if my husband rubs it gets noticeably less?''

"Well it's possible that the rubbing calms down the baby, or then it calms you down which calms down the baby."

''Okay.'' Addison nodded. ''Anything else I should know about?''

"Well if the pain continues later, you should get back to the hospital and we can run some tests in case it is something else but at the moment only reason I can see is the stress you have. So just relax, don't drink, don't smoke."

''Yeah okay, thanks.''

"It's my job and try to avoid these stressful situations, have you ever had a panic-attack?" The doctor asked, this could have been it.

''Yeah I have, a few years ago.''

"Okay, well did this resemble those situations at all?" Was the doctor's next question.

''What situations?''

"The earlier panic-attacks."

''No those were when I found out I was pregnant with twins.''

Derek nodded in agreement, neither of them slept well in days, they were like two zombies, though the other one was also panicking half of the time. But they got over it.

"Okay, once again I'm telling you to relax."

''I'll try to.''

"Good, remember, no dieting of any kind." The doctor made a small smile.

''I won't.'' She thought back how just a month ago she was still continuously loosing weight.

"Good, well if there's something you need to ask, now would be a good time."

''Uhm...before I got pregnant I lost a lot of weight, could that have affected the baby though it was before the pregnancy?''

Now Derek felt guilty all over again, how he ignored her, didn't see the change in her, didn't pay her any attention. But that was all in the past he promised to himself. It wouldn't become reality again.

"How much weight are we talking about?"

''Uhm about 6.6 lbs per week.''

Derek turned to look at Addison, his heart skipped a few beats. "What?" His voice was hoarse. She just shrugged, looking down. This was unhealthy and Derek knew it, they'd talk about this later, not in front of a doctor who sighed now.

"Mrs. Shepherd, that is a lot of weight."

''I know.'' She fidgeted with her fingers.

"Was there a medical reason for you to lose weight?" Dr Murray looked at the woman in front of him.

''What do you mean?''

"For losing weight, was it because you wanted to lose weight and were aware of it?"

''Yeah.'' She shrugged. ''I guess.''

"Okay, well it shouldn't have affected your pregnancy but losing that much weight is never healthy."

''I know, I'm not loosing weight anymore.''

"That's good." The doctor nodded and a small sigh of relief left Derek's lips.

''Yeah...''

"Well if the pain continues you should return to the hospital, but at the moment there's nothing else that we can do."

''Okay.'' She nodded.

"So anymore questions?" The doctor looked at the couple, Derek was shaking his head. "I can't think of any right now."

''Me either.'' She was still holding his hand. Derek let his fingers lace with hers and he pressed a small kiss on her hair once she sat up. She pulled her shirt down.

"I assume you know what you should and shouldn't do." The doctor sat on a chair.

''I do yeah.''

"Okay good, so I don't need to explain it anymore."

''Nope, thanks.''

"Welcome."

She gave him a smile. The doctor nodded and got up from his seat. "Take it easy."

''I will, thank you.''

"It's my job." The doctor said once again before getting up from his seat. Derek got up as well, still not letting go of Addison's hand. Addison gave him a smile. ''Thanks for your time anyway.'' She leaned against Derek. The doctor smiled at the couple. "It's always nice to see people get through this, so really, no problem at all." She gave him a small smile. ''Bye.''

"Bye." Derek smiled at the doctor before he led his wife out of the room. Addison held him close as they walked back into the waiting room. Derek placed a small gentle kiss on her hair and then the pain was back. His nose was hurting once again and he winced slightly.

''Are you okay?'' Addison asked worried.

"Yeah I just forgot I was hurt." He said honestly, suddenly remembering the situation.

''We're going to get you a doctor.''

Derek sighed. "Fineee."

''I'm serious.'' She walked them to Theresa. I thought you were Addison, he had to bite on his cheek to keep himself from saying that, instead he made a brave smile.

"So?" Theresa demanded to know.

''Everything's fine.''

"Thank god, you know what caused the pain?" Theresa let out a relieved sigh.

''Stress apparently.''

"Oh...oh." Theresa looked at the couple and then realised what the stress meant.

''Yeah...'' Addison made a small smile. ''When Derek came it already went less.''

A smile decorated Theresa's face but Derek's smile was even wider. "That's good to hear." Theresa gently rubbed Addison's shoulder. "And Derek, honey, you should really get that nose of yours checked."

''Yeah I said that too.'' Addison said.

"Fine we'll get it examined, sorry for having something more important going on." He added the last one mumbling, placing a small kiss on the top of her head.

''There's nothing more important to me then you.'' She wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Well the same words back to you." He made a smile and held her close to him. "But you were the one in actual danger, I mean, it's just my nose. I'd risk my looks for you." He gently pecked her lips.

''Aww.'' She chuckled, giving him a careful kiss. Derek smiled widely, his hands now resting on her hips. "Well it's true."

''I love you.''

"I love you more." He linked his fingers through the loops of her jeans.

''You do not.''

"I do too." Derek nodded and pulled her a little closer.

''Nuhuh. Now we're going to get you a doctor.''

"Uh uh and okay." Derek didn't really want to let go.

''I'll get one.'' Theresa chuckled and walked away.

''Let's sit down, it'll probably take a while before you can go in."

"Okay but only on one condition." Derek carefully pecked her lips.

''Which?''

"You're sitting on my lap."

''No.'' She rolled her eyes.

"Yes." He blinked his eyes at her.

''I'm not sitting in your lap here.''

"Fine." He gently pecked her lips and led her towards two empty chairs.

''Thanks.'' She sat down.

"No problem." He sat down on the seat next to her.

''Mark is with the twins.''

"Oh." Derek stated simply, not knowing how he should react. The guy had just punched him.

''Are you angry with him?''

"Well he might have broken my nose so slightly, yes."

"Oh."  
"Oh?" Derek made a face.

''What?''

"Forget it." Derek made a small smile.

''Okay then.''

"Hmmm." Derek played with her fingers again, like he had said earlier, he liked them.

''What are we going to do about the Nicole situation?''

"I don't know what we're going to do about her. She ruins everything."

''Yeah...''

"We can sue her I guess but I don't know what that would help."

''At least she would stop then.''

"Do you think we should sue her then?"

''We could threaten her with it first.''

"Okay, will you threaten her with me?" He gave her hand a light squeeze.

''Yeah.''

"You know what? You are the super wife even if you don't admit it."

Addison rolled her eyes. ''I just gave you a black eye, I'm not.''

"Well even heroes make mistakes and I think that this black eye, it makes me look like a though guy." He smiled bravely.

''Sure.'' She chuckled. ''I really am sorry about it though.''

"It's okay, I'm gonna live." Derek placed a sweet kiss on her hand. "You didn't know the truth, I can't blame you. I would have probably hit myself too."

''That would be weird.''

Derek thought about it for a moment, A Derek hitting another one. "Indeed."

''I'm gonna call Mark to see how the kids are doing.''

"Okay." He made a small smile, giving her hand one more kiss.

''Can I barrow your phone?''

"Yeah." He nodded and his other hand reached for the phone inside his pocket. Soon he handed the phone to Addison. "Speed dial 5."

"Yeah." Derek shrugged and started to play with Addison's ring. She waited for Mark to pick up.

"Yeah?" Mark picked up, sounding a little out of breath.

''Hey it's Addison.''

"Oh hi Addie." Mark let out a sigh of relief, picking up Hailey.

''How's everything there?''

"They're wild." Mark replied and placed a kiss on top of Hailey's head.

''Well don't tell me that.'' She chuckled. Mark let out a laugh. "They're real sweethearts, though Hailey has been trying to eat Justin, I wonder why."

"I'm a lion uncle Mark!" Hailey yelled. Addison chuckled. ''Could I talk to them?''

"Yeah I'll put this thing on speaker." Mark pressed the button and Hailey smiled widely.

"HEY MOMMY!"

''Hey sweetheart.'' Addison smiled.

"Mommy, mommy! Uncle Mark and I played with Barbies!" Hailey jumped on his lap excitedly. Mark looked shocked, bye bye reputation.

''Oh really?'' She couldn't help but laugh at the thought.

"Yes! They had a tea party!" Hailey bit on her lower lip in excitement. Mark sighed, he knew what was coming. "It was uncle Mark's idea!!"

''Ah great!'' She laughed loudly.

"I did not!" Mark lied.

''Liar liar.''

"Am not." Mark started tickling Hailey, this was his revenge from telling.

''Uncle Mark, no!'' She yelled giggling.

''Hey, hey Mark, easy with my little girl.''

"You little betrayer!" Mark laughed softly and carried on tickling.

"SHHHHAAAA!" Justin ran to the couch and wrapped his arms around Mark's calf.

''Hello Jussie.'' Addison smiled.

"Momma?" Justin looked around confused, where was she?

''Yeah it's me sweetie.''

He looked confused and looked behind the couch, making Mark laugh.

''What's going on?'' She asked confused.

"Justin she's on the phone." Mark managed to say in-between laughs.

''Mommy is at the hospital.'' Addison said.

"Oh! I thought you were behind the couch!" Justin grinned and ran towards the phone, grabbing it in his hand.

"NO, that's uncle Mark's phone." Mark looked a little shocked.

''Jussie baby be careful.''

"I AM!" He grinned excitedly to the phone.

''Ouch.'' Addison pulled the phone away from her ear.

"Ouch." Derek's head shot up, even he had heard it.

"Momma momma! Can I play with my play car??" Justin bit on his lip before Mark grabbed the phone from him.

"Justin sweetie, it's on speaker, mommy can still hear you even if you don't hold the phone so close."

Addison chuckled. ''Yes you can honey but only if uncle Mark is okay with that.''

"It's fine by me." Mark replied after receiving the puppy-eyes from Justin.

"YAY!"

Addison chuckled.

Mark smiled a little. "Addie how are you feeling now by the way?"

''Better, much better, Derek's here.''

"What? Why did you... but he.."

''He didn't do it Mark.''

"He didn't? Why in the world would Nicole say so then?"

''Because she's a lying who--'' She quickly bit her tongue. ''Witch.''

Mark tried not to laugh at this, this was serious. "So he really didn't do it?"

''No.''

"That's good, I'm happy he didn't." Then he realized that he had hit Derek for no reason. "Is he okay?"

''Well we're gonna see a doctor...''

"You think it's broken?"

''Yeah maybe.''

"Tell him I'm sorry."

''I will.''

"Thank you Addie"

''Welcome though I think you should also tell him yourself.''

"I don't want my pretty face to bruise, I think his fist would swing towards me faster than Hailey escapes from me."

''He wouldn't.''

"I wouldn't be so sure."

''Mark...''

"Do you think I should apologize to him face to face?"

''Yeah I think you should.''

"You know when you'll be back?" Mark asked after a moment of thinking.

''No, soon I hope.''

"Okay, good." Mark made a smile, placing a kiss on the top of Hailey's head.

''Can I have Bug or Jussie again?''

"I'm here momma!" Justin grinned and looked at the phone with his eyes wide open.

''What are you doing baby?''

"I was playing with my Lego! But uncle Mark will let me play with my car later, right?!"

''He will.'' She smiled. Justin smiled. "Will you bring ice-cream?"

''I said I will didn't I?''

Justin nodded with a smile on his face.

''Hmm?''

"Yeah you did." He nodded again. "Chocolate, pleaseeeeeee pleaseee."

"No! Strawberry!" Hailey argued.

''I'll get both okay?''

"YAY!" Hailey squealed excitedly and Justin grinned widely.

"Thank you momma!"

''Anything for you two. Do you wanna talk to daddy as well?''

"YESS!" Both of them instantly answered.

''Okay.'' She chuckled. ''Then I'm giving you to daddy now. I love you both.''

"I love you too mommy!" Hailey replied, making Mark let out a some kind of a happy sigh.

"Hey babies." Derek's voice rang through the phone.

''Hey daddy!'' Hailey yelled excitedly. Derek chuckled softly. "How are you sunshine?"

''Mark and I played Barbies!''

Derek stared ahead of him for a moment before starting to laugh. "Excuse me?"

''We did.'' She giggled.

"Did he play with Ken?" Derek smiled.

''Yeah.'' She giggled. ''Jussie don't touch that!'' She screamed.

"Don't touch what?" Derek got a wrinkle on his forehead, showing his worry.

''My Barbies!''

"Justin Derek, you can't touch your sister's Barbies without her permission." Derek said in a serious voice.

''I didn't!'' Justin yelled in defend.

"Mark, what happened there?" Derek asked with a sigh.

"Justin took my Barbie!" Hailey screamed.

''Justin give that back that's your sister's.'' Mark said.

"Justin, listen to uncle Mark now" Derek said tiredly. "Justin you're not allowed to take your sister's stuff without her permission."

Justin pouted. ''But I wanna plaaaaaay!''

"Ask for permission from Hailey, I'm sure she'd like to play with you."

''No.'' The little boy rubbed his eyes.

"No what?"

He shrugged.

"Justin?"

''Yeeeeeeees?'' He walked around the living room.

"Did you give the Barbie to your sister?"

He didn't say anything.

''He threw it on the floor.'' Mark informed him.

"Justin Derek Shepherd, pick up that Barbie and apologize right now." Derek's tone was serious.

''Nooooo!'' He yelled, running into the couch, laughing.

"Justin Derek Shepherd! Pick up that Barbie and apologize." This is not how Derek wanted to spend these few minutes. He shook his head, giggling, testing his father's limits.

"Justin Shepherd, I'm very angry with you right now."

Justin crossed his arms.

"Justin pick up that Barbie right now, or else there will be no watching Nemo tonight."

''Nuhuh mommy promised!''

"Justin if you don't fix your behaviour right now, there will be no Nemo tonight." He repeated. Justin rolled of the couch and picked up the Barbie, throwing at Hailey. ''There!''

It hit Hailey to the stomach and she looked down before her bottom lip started to quiver.

"Mark, what happened?"

''Uhm Justin kinda threw it at Hails...''

"Justin Derek Shepherd! That is unacceptable!"

Hailey began to cry and threw her arms around Mark. Mark stroked the little girl's back, great, everything was fine until they called, now it looked like he couldn't look after them. Justin kicked the couch.

"Mark?" Derek sounded worried, sure he trusted Mark but these were his children. He gave Addison's hand a light squeeze.

''Yeah?''

"Is Hailey okay? Is she hurt?"

''No. You aren't right Hails?'' Mark hugged her. She shook her head and tears poured down her face.

"Good." A sigh of relief left Derek's lips.

''Say bye to daddy okay, we're gonna play together.''

"Bye bye HaileyBunny, Mark give her a big kiss from me, kay?"

''Bye DaddyPaddy.'' She giggled, giving Mark a kiss on his cheek.

"Hunny catch my kiss okay?" Derek made a kissing sound to the phone. Hailey giggled, giving a kiss into the phone.

"I love you sweetie." Derek smiled widely, back in the good mood.

''I love you too baby.'' Hailey giggled, knowing this was what her mommy always said. Derek let out a laugh, this he would have to tell Addison. "Bye honey."

''Byeee!!''

Derek hung up the phone, returning it to his pocket. "Guess what Hailey said?"

''What did she say?'' Addison looked at her husband.

"She said 'I love you too baby'." Derek chuckled, linking his fingers with Addison's. Addison chuckled as well. ''That's what I always say.''

"I know, someone listens to you." He grinned and pecked Addison's lips. "I love you Addles."

''I love you too DerrieDer, now careful with the nose.'' She said while Theresa returned. Derek rolled his eyes at Addison before looking at his mother. "Did you get someone?"

''Yeah we just have to wait.''

"Great, waiting." He sighed.

''Sorry honey.'' Theresa sat next to him.

"Yeah it's okay" Derek turned to look at Addison. "Addie, Justin threw a Barbie at Hails."

''What?'' Her eyes widened and she sighed.

"Yeah." Derek sighed as well. "But I think Mark got it under control."

''Good, good.''

"Yeah, what should we do about him?"

''I really don't know...''

"Me neither, me neither, but we have to do something."

''Yeah I agree.''

"He can't keep doing it." Derek shook his head.

''I know, I hope this is just a phase.''

"Exactly, he'd get into a lot of trouble if he carries on doing what he's doing."

''He's just two...''

"Still Addison, we need to do something or someone will eventually get hurt."

''What do you mean?''

"If he keeps throwing things at people, if he keeps doing those things someone will get hurt and I'm not saying this to be mean."

''Yeah...''

"We should talk to him."

''I don't think he'll understand and I know he doesn't mean to do these things, he loves Hailey.''

"Yeah but he has his temper." Derek sighed.

''He doesn't have it from a stranger.'' She pointed out. Derek shrugged at her comment.

''What?''

"Nothing, but we should do something to Justin. Hailey got really upset."

''We should sit down with the both of them and explain they both can't behave like this, especially not when the baby is here.''

"Addison, you're a genius, we should do that."

''Why thank you.'' She chuckled as his name was called this time. Derek slowly got up from the seat, pecking her lips. "You're coming with me right?"

''Yeah sure.'' She got up as well.

"Thank you." Derek smiled softly and snaked an arm around her waist as they walked towards the doctor.

"Wow, what happened to you?"

"A crazy chick is what happened." Derek made a small smile.

''Excuse me?'' Addison raised her eyebrow.

"Not you honey."

"A chick did this? Wow, I want to meet her," the doctor grinned.

Derek let out a laugh. "Well a chick caused the hitting."

"Damn. I get these cases often. Take a seat."

"Thank you." Derek made a small smile and sat on the exam table. Addison went to stand next to him, holding his hand. Derek linked his fingers with Addison's, looking at the doctor, waiting for him to do something.

"Let me take a look at that disgusting honker. How's the head?"

Addison chuckled at the doctor's use of words. Derek pouted his lips a little, only Addison would notice this. "The head is fine."

"No headache? Good." The doctor poked and prodded at Derek's 'honker.'

"No headache." Derek replied, starting to question the doctors license.

"Want the good news or the bad news?"

"There is bad news?" Derek screwed up his face.

"That is one disgusting honker."

"Excuse me?!"

"Well it's still rather swollen."

Addison rubbed his shoulder apologetic.

"Yes that I noticed." He replied, a small smile playing on his lips due to her actions.

"Good news it, it's not broken."

"Thank god." Derek let out a small sigh of relief.

''How's his eye?'' Addison asked.

"Disgusting."

Derek rolled his eyes at the doctor. Addison winced.

"Well, the swelling will go down completely within a few days."

"Okay, that's good, sweetie see? There's nothing to worry about." He placed a small kiss on Addison's hand.

''I'm really sorry.''

"It's okay really, I'm a though guy, I'm not going to die." Derek smiled up to his wife.

''I'm still sorry.'' She gave him a sad smile.

"Oh this nose looks deadly!"

"Could you like stop commenting on my nose please?"

"It's a pretty nose."

"Sorry, don't do guys."

"I see that!"

Addison rolled her eyes. Derek flashed a smile.

''Baby is hungry.''

"Hmm? McDonalds?" Derek placed another kiss on the back of her hand.

''With the kids?''

"Sure."

"Want some painkillers?"

"Please." Derek made a smile. Addison rubbed her stomach.

"Sure thing." The doctor handed Derek a standard white package. "Take two every four hours. If the pain is unbearable, see me again."

"Sure." Never. Derek smiled again as he took the package. "So the swelling of my eye should go down in few days?"

"Should do, yes. Don't freak if it turns crazy colours but I'm sure you knew that."

''We're second year med school students.'' Addison chuckled. ''So yes.''

Derek let out a laugh, taking Addison's hand in his. "Yeah."

"Good to know." The doctor looked mocked impressed.

"Yeah." Derek shrugged. "What if my vision becomes unclear? Should I come back and have it checked?"

"Well unless you want to die, then sure."

Derek let out a laugh. "Okay then."

"Now, scoot!"

Derek let out a laugh and got up. Addison put the hand she was holding on her stomach.

"Patients to see. Stay in school!"

"Yeah will do." Derek wrapped his arm around Addison's waist, his hand landing on her stomach before they walked out of the room.

''Hmm I'm glad it's not broken.'' Addison said as they walked back to Theresa.

"Me too, but it'll scare the kids..." Derek mumbled, giving her mother a smile.

"So?" Theresa wanted to know once again.

''Not broken.'' Addison told her with a small smile.

"Oh thank god."

"Yeah, thank god." Derek smiled a little as well, his hand gently rubbing her stomach. Addison leaned her head on his shoulder. Derek smiled softly, placing a kiss on her hair. "My baby is hungry, we were thinking about getting the kids and going to McDonalds." He said, making Theresa nodded.

"Oh okay."

''Are you coming too?'' Addison asked her mother-in-law.

"Sure, if you don't mind." She replied. Derek smiled at his mother. "Not at all."

''I think we should ask Mark as well.'' Addison looked at her husband.

"Well he has been looking after the twins..." Theresa supported Addison on this one, those men needed to talk.

"Uhm... fine."

Addison nodded, holding him close.

"Yeah... he can come." Derek's hand was now resting on Addison's hip. She placed a kiss in his neck. He hummed quietly. "So did you get any medication?" Theresa asked.

''He got a strip of painkillers.''

"Yep." Derek nodded and gave Addison a small kiss on the lips. She smiled at him.

"The swelling of my eye should go down in a couple of days."

''That's good.'' Theresa turned her son's head to take a good look at his eye. ''Well she sure can hit.''

"Yeah apparently she can." Derek nudged Addison a little. "You should start boxing instead of doctoring, I'm sure you'd win something."

''Shut up.'' Addison laughed. ''I'm a mom I need to know how to fight.''

"So that you can go kick some little boy's ass who comes near Hailey and has a spark in his eye?" Derek grinned.

''Something like that.'' She laughed. Derek let out a laugh. "She's never having a boyfriend, is she?"

Addison pulled a silly face. ''Let's go.''

"Yeah, let's go scare the kids with my face."

''Poor them.''

"Yep but hey it's not like we can cover my face."

''Maybe we should put a big brown bag over your head and cut out one eyehole.''

"Wow you have great ideas Mrs. Shepherd." Derek laughed at her silliness.

''I do, really.''

"Hmhmm." He placed a small kiss on her cheek. "Let's go then."

''Yeah.'' She pulled back a little.

Derek didn't let go of her, he kept his arm around her waist as they walked out of the hospital with Theresa.

''I see the spark is still there.'' Theresa randomly commented smiling.

"What spark?" Derek looked at Theresa slightly confused.

''The one between you and Addison.''

"Oh, that spark." Derek smiled, brushing Addison's stomach gently. "Yeah, it is."

Addison smiled softly.

"I love that spark." Derek commented, giving Addison a tender kiss. Addison softly kissed him back, making Theresa smile. After few moments he pulled back in need of oxygen. "I love you."

''I love you too baby.''

Derek smiled at her. "Okay, how are we going home? I have a car and I bet you do too."

''Well separately.''

"You're coming with me." Derek stated and looked at Addison.

''We can't we have two cars.''

"Mom can drive the other oneee." He pouted.

''Come on Derek, how old are you?''

"Fine." He screwed up his face.

''Thanks.''

He pouted his lips again. She rolled her eyes playfully. He pecked her lips. "See you soon."

''Drive safe.''

"You too, no crazy passings, okay?" He placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

''Hmhmm I'm gonna maneuver the car into small streets and allies until I shrugged you off.''

Derek laughed. "Just drive safely okay? I don't want you to crash into a tree or something."

''I did get my drivers licence you know.''

He pecked her lips. "I don't want you to be hurt so shush and drive safe."

''I always do.''

''Guys as much as I just looooooove watching you arguing, we really have to go.'' Theresa said with a roll of her eyes.

"I love you." He pecked her lips once more, heading towards his car. He spun on his heels, turning to look at her once more before mouthing 'Drive safe' with a grin on his face. She gave him a glare. Derek smiled softly and then carried on walking. She chuckled as she watched him before turning to Theresa. Theresa flashed her a smile before they started walking towards the car as well. "So... you two sorted it out."

''Yeah, I think we did.'' Addison opened the car door for her.

"Thanks." Theresa got into the car. "And that's great."

''It is.'' She agreed, walking around the car before she got into the drivers seat.

"Yeah, you talked about the Nicole-situation, right?"

''We did, kinda.'' She started the car.

"Kinda?" She raised an eyebrow and looked at Addison's direction.

''Yeah I guess, I don't know.'' She shrugged.

"Oh okay..." Theresa shrugged as well, looking out the window. "So McDonalds?"

''Yeah I'm starving.'' She drove out of the parking lot.

"Okay." She smiled softly.

''I bet the kids will be happy about going there.''

"Yeah, they probably like the clown... my god... what is his name?"

''Uhm Ronald McDonald?''

"Yes that one!"

''Yeah.'' Addison chuckled. Theresa smiled. "And I bet they'll love the toys too."

''What toys?''

"If they take Happy Meals Addie, Happy Meals."

''Oh right, Happy Meals.''

"Yeah, I think I'm graving for a Big Mac..."

''You know what a Big Mac is?'' Addison laughed.

"I do! I'm not THAT old."

''Oh really?'' Addison teased. Theresa gave her a look. "Don't you dare to push me about this."

''Sorry.'' She chuckled. Theresa let out a laugh. "Apology accepted."

"Thanks."

"Anytime." Theresa chuckled, "Anytime."

''You know, I think you're the coolest mother-in-law one can have.''

"Ah I know, the others suck." Theresa grinned cockily.

''Yeah, especially Derek's.''

"Ah I know." Theresa rolled her eyes.

''Yeah...''

"But Addie?"

''Yeah?''

"You're the best daughter-in-law I have."

''I'm the only.'' She rolled her eyes. Theresa chuckled. "Still you know what I mean."

''I do and thank you.''

"Welcome." She flashed a smile. She smiled back at her.

Soon they arrived to the house, seeing Derek's car on the driveway, he was still sitting on the driver's seat. Addison honked at him. Derek looked into the mirror, a grin taking over his features as he got out of the car. She shut off the car and got out of it as well.

"Hmm I was faster." He grinned victoriously.

''You left earlier.''

"Fine." He rolled his eyes, extending his arm for her. She chuckled, walking closer to him. Derek grinned and tilted his head to the side before he grabbed her hand in his.

''Why didn't you go in yet?''

"Mark's there, I couldn't just go in yet."

''Oh, yeah.''

"Yeah.."

Addison opened the front door.


	13. Naps, McDonalds and Talking

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 13 – Naps, McDonalds and Talking_

They both stepped into the house, soon followed by Theresa who was smiling widely. ''Hello?'' Addison called through the house. They heard some sounds from the living room. "MOMMY!" She walked into the living room. Derek didn't follow her just yet, he was scared of his children's reactions. "Mommy!" Hailey threw her arms around Addison's leg. ''Hey baby girl.'' Addison smiled. Hailey bit on her lower lip due to the excitement. "Where's the ice-cream?"

''I don't have any.'' She bent down. ''I think I have something you'll enjoy more.''

"Oh... what is it?" The little girl pouted sadly.

''McDonalds.''

Hailey's eyes lit up. "With the clown?"

''Yeah with the clown.'' She chuckled.

"YAY!" Hailey grinned widely, "Did you hear that Jussie?"

''McDonalds!'' He yelled happily.

''Yeeeeees. But there's a but to it.'' Addison started.

"What is it?" Both of the twins asked with their eyes wide open.

''McDonalds is for big boys and girls right?''

"WE ARE!" Justin exclaimed and Hailey nodded in agreement.

''And big boys and girls don't wear diapers right?''

Justin blinked his eyes and then shook his head.

''So that means if we go to the McDonalds now, we'll do potty training later.''

Hailey pouted her lips together and then finally let out a sigh. "Fiiiiine."

''And no running away naked through the house this time.''

It was Justin's turn to sigh. "But it's fun!"

''No it's not.'' Addison shook her head.

"It is! It's like I was a bird! FREE!" Justin got on the couch and extended his arms to the air like he was pretending to be a bird. "PIDGEON!"

''Justin!'' Addison got up and grabbed him off the couch. ''Do not jump on the couch.''

"But moooom!" He complained, but realised, hey! He was flying! He giggled loudly.

''No but mom's!''

Justin bit on his lip.

''If you want to go to McDonalds then that means potty training tomorrow okay?''

He shrugged, he really wanted a hamburger with pickles at the moment. "Yeah..."

''Do you promise that Justin Derek?''

He slowly nodded. "Do I get an ice-cream too?"

"If you still have room afterwards."

"Can you make me fly like daddy can?" Justin asked quietly, he didn't ask this stuff from his mother too often.

''You mean the helicopter?''

The little boy nodded.

''Sorry sweetie, mommy is pregnant and I'm not as strong as daddy but you can ask him.''

"Oh..." Justin's finger went to his mouth. "Where's daddy?"

''In the kitchen with grandma, where's uncle Mark?''

"He's in the bathroom."

''Okay, everything went alright here?'' Addison was curious what his answer would be after what she heard about Justin during the phone call.

"Yeah." The little boy shrugged and grinned widely.

''Were you a good boy?''

He nodded after a moment of consideration.

''Do you think good boy's throw Barbies at their sister?'' She sat down, keeping an eye on Hailey who was playing with some stuffed animals on the carpet. Justin bit on the inside of his cheek. "Daddy told me I should give it to her."

''And did you?''

"I threw it at her." He shrugged. "Faster."

''Why?''

"I don't know..." The boy mumbled, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

''Jussie why?'' She asked softly.

"I don't know..." He said again, shrugging his shoulders.

''Justin.''

"Momma." He looked into her eyes.

''Why did you throw Hailey's Barbie at her?''

"Hailey didn't let me playyy." He looked shocked.

''So there for you threw her Barbie at her?''

He nodded. "I didn't mean to hurt Hails..."

''But then why did you?''

"She didn't let me play..."

''You can't always get what you want.''

He pouted. "But I wanted to play with her."

''But she didn't.''

"And it made me angry." Justin confessed.

''Why?''

"Because I really wanted to play with Hails."

''But Justin if she didn't then you have to respect that, you can't throw something at her."

He shrugged at his mother's answer, the little boy didn't have anything to say against his mother, he could have repeated the same old thing 'I wanted to play' but it wouldn't help him.

''You need to learn that because else Hailey will get really upset.''

"I don't want Hails to be upset." He said honestly.

''Then don't make her.''

"I don't want to." He shrugged and tried to escape from his mother.

''You don't want what to?''

"To make Hailey upset." He sat down on the couch next to Addison.

''If your don't want that then why do you?''

He shrugged. "I don't mean to..."

''Jussie I want you to apologize to Bug okay?''

He nodded slowly and slid off the couch, onto the carpet. He was now on all fours and crawled towards his sister. He bit on his lip and tapped his sister's shoulder cautiously. Hailey turned around to look at her brother.

"Hi..." He said and a smile graced his lips.

''Hi Jussie.''

"Sorry Hails..." The little boy apologized.

''For what?''

"For throwing a Barbie at you..."

''Oh...'' She pouted. ''That really hurt.''

"I didn't mean to... friends?" Justin wrapped his arms around her.

''Yes.'' She hugged them back, making their mother smile. ''We could play with my stuffed animals together?'' Hailey asked her twin brother.

"Yeah, can I also play with Ken?" Justin grinned widely, nodding his head.

''Yes!'' Hailey giggled.

"YAY!" Justin took one of the toys she had been playing with. "Can I play with Mr. Jinx?"

''Okay.'' She nodded her head as Mark walked into the room.

"Heyy did you two get yourselves into trouble while I was gone?" He stroke Hailey's hair, not realising that Addison was in the room.

''They would, that's what two year olds do when they are alone.'' Addison said from the couch.

"Oh, you're back." Mark said rather surprised. "And they're not in trouble, see?"

''Nope.''

Mark shrugged. "I'm an EXCELLENT babysitter."

''Yeah thanks Mark. Hey listen, we're heading over to McDonalds in a few hours, feel like joining?''

"Sure, sounds like fun."

"Yeah it will be." Derek stepped into the room, running a hand through his hair. Addison's eyebrows raised as he walked in, immediately checking the children's reactions. Justin didn't take his eyes off Mr. Jinx, for once he had actually managed to convince Hailey to let him play with it. Mark looked at Derek. Derek looked back at him. "It's not broken." The little girl looked up to his father with a shocked expression. Justin heard his sister gasp and turned around to look at his daddy as well. Derek sighed, closing his eyes for a moment or two. How to explain your children that you've been beaten up by their mother and uncle?

''Dadda!'' Justin yelled, jumping up.

"Shh Jussie, daddy's okay..." Derek tried, seeing the concern flash in Hailey's eyes.

Justin held his arms around. Derek bent down on picked up his son.

''What's wrong with your face dada?''

"There was this small accident and daddy's face got hurt a little. It'll go back to normal baby." He held the kid on his hip.

''Does it hurt?''

"Not anymore and I got some medicine so daddy will be okay..."

''It looks cool!''

Derek chuckled. "Really? You think so? Makes me look like a tough guy?"

''Yeah!'' He giggled as Addison got up from the couch. ''Honey I'm going to take a quick nap before we go, that okay?''

"Yeah you had a tiring day, will you take the kids with you?" Derek asked, nodding his head towards Mark a little.

''Sure.''

"Okay." Derek made a small smile, pecking Addison's lips. "Sleep well."

''Thanks.'' She rubbed her face, taking Justin from him. ''C'mon Bug we're gonna take a midday nap.''

Hailey got up from the floor slowly and swallowed before she clinched onto Derek's leg. "I hope that you get your beautiful face back soon."

Addison smiled at her daughter's words. Derek chuckled softly. "I will honey, I will." He gently brushed Hailey's hair. The little girl just nodded. Addison shifted Justin onto her hip and took Hailey's hand. Hailey waved goodbye to the men and Derek waved back with a small smile on his face. Addison walked up the stairs with them. Justin yawned a little while stretching his body.

''Do you guys wanna sleep in mommy's bed?''

Hailey nodded eagerly. "It's bigger!"

''Hmhmm.'' She walked into the kids bedroom. Hailey held onto her mother tightly, her eyes fluttering closed already. She sat them both down on the changing table. Hailey somehow managed to stay awake though her face had tired written all over it. Addison smiled tiredly at her daughter, placing a kiss on her forehead before she started undressing her. Hailey giggled and played with Addison's hair for a moment or two.

''Do you need a new diaper honey?''

She hummed, not able to give her a decent reply.

''Hmm sweetie?''

She shook her head a little, her eyes closing again. "No she doesn't need a new diaper mommy." Justin said with a tired voice. Addison laid her daughter's head against her chest, softly rubbing her back as she started dressing her in a pink and purple Dora The Explorer pyjama. It was Hailey's favourite, the colours made her smile widely every time. "I like my..."

''Your what?'' Addison brushed her daughters hair with her fingers.

"...pyjamas" She finished her sentence, rubbing her eyes tiredly. Addison gave her a kiss, laying her back down where she immediately curled up into a ball. ''Jussie baby?'' She turned to her son.

"Yes momma?" Justin had a hard time keeping his eyes closed as well.

''Do you need a new diaper?''

Justin shifted uncomfortably. "Yes..."

''Okay.'' She gave him a kiss. ''Lay back down baby.''

He laid down slowly, closing his eyes the moment his back touched the changing table. She smiled softly at him, undressing him before changing his diaper.

"Thank you momma." Justin mumbled when she was finished.

''You're welcome sweetie.'' She quickly dressed him in his blue coloured Blue's Clues pyjamas.

Justin smiled happily and reached towards his mother as to be picked up while his sister let out a small mumble in her sleep. She picked Justin up and then softly nudged Hailey. The girl softly smacked her arm as to let her know to stay away from her. She nudged her again. ''Hails.''

"I'm sleeping." She mumbled, starting to stir.

''Sweetie you can sleep in bed within 5 seconds.''

She slowly nodded, slowly reaching towards her mother. Addison held onto her and picked her up.

"I wanna sleep." The girl whined and wrapped her arms around her mother's neck.

''You will.'' She whispered and walked straight to her bedroom, lying her two children in her bed. Hailey instantly brought her knees to her chin, trying to keep herself warm but Justin on the other hand just lay on his back with his eye closed. Addison took off her own clothes, putting a top and sweatpants on before crawling into bed behind them, tucking them in under the covers. Hailey moved closer to Justin subconsciously draping an arm around his stomach. Addison smiled at them, wrapping her arm around the both of them closely.

"I love you." Justin mumbled into the darkness of the room.

''I love you too pumpkin.'' She felt her own eyes starting to flutter.

"Hhmhm hmm." Was Hailey's response to the voices surrounding her and with that the little girl was pulled into the dreamland. Addison hugged both her babies close, making sure they were warm, safe and protected before she couldn't fight the sleep taking her over any longer.

Derek sat down on the couch, looking up to the man in front of him. Mark cleared his throat uncomfortably. Derek's eyes met his and suddenly he didn't know what to say, Mark was like the brother he never had. He didn't want to fight with him.

''How's your nose?'' He asked carefully.

"It's not broken, it should return back to normal, in time." He answered truthfully. "Ever thought about becoming a professional boxer?"

''Maybe after today.'' He chuckled lightly. Derek laughed nervously. "You'd make a good living with it."

''By the way, man, I'm sorry about it okay?''

"Yeah I figured, it's okay now."

''I just wanted to protect Addison from you.''

He nodded. "I didn't do anything really, it hurt me to see that you, who are supposed to be my best friend, didn't trust me with this."

''Well Addison is my friend as well.''

"Doesn't mean you have to go that protective over her."

''And why not?''

"Because Mark, I mean my god, you're like a brother to me."

''But Addison is like a sister to me as well.''

Derek shook his head at him. "Fine."

''And I hardly ever see her anymore. Does she even go out of the house often? She hasn't been to school since forever.''

"I've tried to convince her that we should have someone to take care of the kids while we're at school." Derek protected himself, Mark's words made him feel guilty.

''Like a nanny?''

"Yes like a nanny." He replied.

''But she's pregnant again.''

"She told you?" Derek asked surprised.

''Yeah...''

"Oh, okay." And suddenly he felt uncomfortable.

''Why didn't you tell me?''

"It's too early Mark, she's only four weeks pregnant anyway."

''Oh.''

"Yeah... and it hasn't been even a week since Addison took me back."

''Okay.''

"Yeah." Derek looked at the TV that wasn't even on.

''But anyway, congrats man.''

"Thanks." Derek smiled absently before looking at Mark. "But.. how are you?"

''I'm fine, can I ask a question though?''

"Yeah? Ask away"

''Okay you don't have to answer or anything but was it a planned pregnancy?''

"Uhm... four weeks ago me and Addison were in the middle of a divorce." Derek answered honestly.

''So... no.''

"So no it wasn't, but it doesn't matter."

''It doesn't?''

"It doesn't Mark, I love the baby just as equally as I love the twins."

''So you're happy with it?''

"Yeah, I'm happy with it. Why wouldn't I be?"

''I don't know.'' He shrugged. ''Do the twins like it?''

"Yeah I think they do."

''Addison?''

"Yeah Mark, she does, we're happy believe it or not. Pregnancy is a good thing even if you don't think like it."

''I never said that!''

"Well that's your attitude."

''It is not.''

"It feels like it."

''Well I didn't.''

"Okay then."

Mark nodded. Derek nodded as well, crossing his arms.

''So...''

"So... we okay?" Derek looked at Mark.

''Yeah. Right?''

"Yeah we are." Derek got up from the couch.

''Okay, good. Where are you going?''

"You want something to drink, I haven't drank anything since the breakfast?"

''No I'm fine thanks.''

"Okay, well uhm I'll get myself a glass of water."

''Okay.''

"Good." Derek sighed and walked out of the room into the kitchen. Theresa who was sitting in the kitchen reading a random magazine looked up at her son.

"Hey." Derek made a small smile and walked towards the cupboard.

''Hey honey.''

"I'm just gonna take some water." He took a glass.

''Okay, Addi in bed?''

"Yeah, she's pretty tired."

''That's understandable.''

"Yeah, it's been a rough day."

She nodded. ''Are you tired?''

"A little but I can take it." Derek shrugged, filling the glass with cold water.

''You can just take a nap if you want to.''

"Thanks but I think I'll pass." Derek sipped the water.

''Okay, it was just an idea.'' She shrugged. Derek pecked her cheek. "Yeah I know that."'

She gave him a smile. He smiled back to her and finished his water. "I'm gonna go back to Mark."

''Okay.'' She nodded and turned back to her magazine.

Just few hours later, after Addison and the twins had woken up, Derek and Mark had fixed things almost back to normal, the whole group was standing in the line at McDonald's waiting patiently, well at least the adults were.

''I'm hungryyyy.'' Hailey, who was on Derek's hip, whined.

"I know you are sweetie, we'll get some food soon, and you'll get a happy meal. With a toy, you like them don't you Hails?" Derek asked, shifting her on his hip.

''They have Enchanted toys this time!''

"Oh they do?" Derek faked surprised. "Which one do you want honey?"

''Hmm princess Giselle or Pip!''

"Oooh Pip is the squirrel thingy, isn't it?"

''Nooooo he's a chipmunk!''

"Oh!" Derek laughed at her, pecking her nose. "My apologies Princess Hailey."

Hailey grinned at her daddy. Derek chuckled while Justin was playing with Addison's necklace, looking bored. Addison was talking to him but he didn't really seem to be listening. He nodded every once in a while, examining the heart hanging on the necklace. She kissed the top of his head.

"Momma..." Justin flipped the heart shaped necklace on the palm of his hand, it was identical on the both sides, something had been scripted on it. "What does that sayyy?"

''It says Derek.''

Justin grinned. "Funny, someone made a necklace with daddy's name and it ended up to you!"

Addison chuckled softly at him. ''Daddy got it made for mommy sweetie.''

"Oh." Justin's finger went into his mouth before he shrugged. "But why?"

''Because he gave it to me for my birthday a long time ago.''

"Oh, why does it have daddy's name, it's yours..."

''Because it's a symbol, it means that daddy is in my heart.''

"Oh, but daddy's not in your heart. He's here." Justin reached out his arm and poked Derek, making him look at them.

''But daddy is in my heart in a way.'' She gave Derek a smile. ''And so are you and Hailey.''

"Oh..." Justin thought about it but Derek knew exactly what she meant.

"I love you."

''I love you too.'' She smiled. He smiled back to her and pressed a small kiss on her lips. She smiled at him. He pecked her lips once more before he turned around. The line moved and there was only one customer in front of them. Addison gave her son a kiss on his forehead. Justin grinned and pecked her on the lips. She smiled at him. Justin dropped his head to her shoulder, resting it there.

''Are you still tired little man?''

"Noo." He denied instantly

''Hmm I think you are?'' She softly juggled him.

"Nuh uh." He shook his head and let the necklace go.

''We're going to have bathing time before we go to bed okay?''

He shook his head again. "Nooo."

''Yeeees.''

"Noooo." He shook his head. "I don't smell mommy!"

''But you will if you won't take a bath! You can take one with Hails okay?''

Justin grinned widely. "And can we play with the ship?"

''Yes you can.'' She chuckled.

"YAY!" Justin squealed excitedly, just when the line moved and Derek smiled at the person behind the counter.

''Can I take your order please?'' The girl asked him politely.

"Yes, umm two Happy meals, other one without pickles." He shifted Hailey on his hip.

''Okay.'' She nodded, registering it.

"What do you want?" Derek turned to look at the others.

''A salad please and some water.'' Addison answered.

"Mark?" Derek eyed his friend.

''Uhm a Big Mac menu.''

"Ah, great choice." Derek grinned, looking at his mother. "And what about you?"

''Uhm Big Mac as well.'' She said, giving Addison a look. Derek chuckled. "Just hamburger or a menu?"

''Menu.''

Derek turned to face the girl. "Three Big Mac menus and a salad with water."

''Okay, anything else?''

"Hmm anything else? Anyone?"

"ICECREAM!" Justin giggled.

''You'll get that afterwards, else it will melt.'' His mother said.

"That's it." Derek said to the girl and then placed a kiss on Hailey's nose. "You'll get one too if you want."

''I do!''

"Good, good." He hugged her tight. She gave her a daddy a kiss on the cheek.

''Okay that would be $22,75.''

Derek's hand went into his pocket and he pulled out the wallet, getting two twenty dollar bills. "Here you go." He gave the girl the money.

''Thank you.'' She took it and got out the change. ''And here is your $17,25 change.''

"Thanks." Derek took the change from the girl and then quickly placed them into his wallet which found itself inside his pocket again.

Mark pushed a few dollar bills in his hands for his food.

"No Mark, you were babysitting" Derek pulled back his hand every time he tried to give them,

''Derek, take it.'' Mark ordered.

"Mark, take it back." Derek gave him a look. "You were babysitting, we're buying."

''Derek take it or I'm not eating here.''

Derek rolled his eyes and took the money he was giving.

''Thank you.''

"Welcome" Derek rolled his eyes again.

''We'll get your order in a few minutes, why don't you take place at a table?''

"Thanks." Derek smiled and looked towards the dining area. "Where do you wanna go Bug?"

''The table at the window!''

Derek smiled at his daughter before he started walking towards the table. The rest followed him. Derek sat down on one chair and Addison was seated next to her. He placed Hailey to sit on his lap. "Just few more minutes hon."

''Am I getting Pip?''

"Yeah you're getting Pip." Derek confirmed, hugging his little girl.

''Yay!''

Derek chuckled. "Yeah"

Theresa looked at her son. ''Can I have a word with you Der?''

"Yeah?" Derek looked at her with a confused look.

''Thank you.'' Theresa got up. Derek got up as well, following his mother. They walked to a quiet corner.

"Yeah, what did you want to talk to me about?" Derek was still just as confused as before.

''Addison ordered a salad.''

"Salad is healthy."

''In the car she told me she was starving.''

"What?" He looked at her. "Oh god this is just great."

''You have to watch her Derek!''

"Don't yell at me about this, I'm going to talk to her. I didn't know mother!"

''Hey, hey, hey what are you yelling for at me?''

Derek shook his head at her. "Mom I didn't know about it okay?"

''I'm just saying you have to look out for her okay?'' She said softly.

"Just the way you said it made me feel bad okay, I can't be there 24/7 to stalk her. Okay? I'm looking out for her, I thought she had ate something already."

''She hasn't, I'm not judging you or anything I just want to help okay.''

"Okay, thank you. I wouldn't have noticed this one without you and as in my defence... she always takes salad at McDonalds."

''Yeah but I wanna see her stuffing a big hamburger in her mouth and watch her gain at least 22 lbs.''

"So what we're trying to do is make her gain weight?" Derek raised an eyebrow at her mother.

''Obviously.''

"Yeah." Derek nodded at his mother.

''I love both you and Addison and I want to help you two.''

"I get it." He nodded before starting to walk towards the table. "I'll keep an eye on her."

''Closely?''

"Closest." He smiled softly, but in the inside a part of him had just died.

''Good. You're a great husband to her honey, don't doubt that.''

"Yeah... I won't." Another small smile tugged the corner of his mouth.

''Good.'' She hugged her son. He hugged her back, his arms wrapped tightly around her waist.

''And who's gonna look after you now?'' She whispered.

"I don't know." He whispered back.

''Hey I'm gonna keep an eye on you okay, is that alright with you?''

He nodded. "I don't think I say this often enough but I love you mom."

''That's okay Der because I know you do, I love you too.''

He nodded and a smile played on his lips. "Yeah."

She gave him a smile. Derek pulled back from the hug. "Well uhm anyway we should go back."

''We should, I bet our fat calorie filled Big Macs are there.''

"I think I'm going to make Addie eat mine." He said as they started walking back.

''No no you need to eat as well, I'll order her one.''

"Thanks." Derek pecked her cheek quickly.

''Anything.'' She gave him a smile and walked towards the register, standing in line.

Derek back to the table. "Addie?" He whispered into his wife's ear once he had sat down.

''Hmm?'' She asked with a mouthful of salad, looking at him.

"You're going to eat more than just a salad." He said in a quiet voice so that on one else could here.

''Pardon?''

"You're eating something else than a salad, I'm not letting you starve yourself."

''I'm not starving myself, I'm eating, right now.''

"Addison we're not discussing about this, you're going to eat a big hamburger that'll make you gain some weight."

''I don't need to gain weight!''

"Honey, you need to gain weight. This is not healthy."

''I'm eating right now!''

"It's a salad Addison, I want you to eat real food."

''Salad is real food, a fried gross hamburger isn't.''

"I'm worried."

''Why?''

"Because I don't want you to lose any weight, you were perfect the way you were 15 lbs ago."

''I'm not losing any more weight.''

"Good, but now you need to gain it."

''Why?''

"Because this is NOT healthy Addison, I don't want anything bad to happen to you."

''Honey it won't, I'm eating and I'm fine with being on this weight. I could and want to lose more weight but I'm not so be happy with that.''

"How much do you weight Addison?" He looked at her.

''I'm not telling you that!''

"Addison I'm telling you to eat properly, and no salad doesn't count as meal."

''Yes it does and it has vegetables in it and I'm not eating what you're telling me to.'' She simply said while Mark was busy with talking to the kids, keeping them occupied so they wouldn't hear this.

"I don't want anything to happen to our baby, if you continue like this something WILL happen and neither of us wants that, Addison just tell me how much you weight."

''God like a 100 lbs I don't know, it's nothing near life threatening.''

"Addison." He tilted his head to the side and sighed.

''What?''

"That is not healthy Addison, really."

''It is.''

"That's threatening your and our baby's life so please just stuck a hamburger into your mouth, eat it and don't complain!"

''It's a fine weight and Derek please, please leave me alone and eat your hamburger which is getting cold.'' She begged. He shook his head at her. "No Addison, no I won't leave you alone no matter how hard you beg. NO. You will eat the hamburger that my mom is currently buying. You will eat it and shut up."

''No!''

"Yes!"

''You're not my father and you can't tell me what to do.'' She got up from the table. Derek got up as well. "Mark, can you watch the kids? Addison and I will take a small walk outside."

''No we are not.'' Addison picked up her salad and water.

"Addison." He sighed, this was not going the way he planned this to. "We are taking a walk indeed."

She walked away from him. He simply followed. He was going to fight for this, he was NOT letting her escape, he was not going to let her kill herself with this. She walked outside with her food. Derek followed her. "Sit down." He ordered. She ignored him.

"SIT DOWN." He ordered, his voice was louder this time.

''Nope.''

"SIT DOWN!" He yelled at her, he was not joking around, this was about life and death.

''Don't boss me around!'' She yelled at him, turning around.

"I don't want you to die Addison! This is serious! You fucking weight as much as a freaking child Addison, please! You're in med school you know this is serious!"

''I'm not losing any more weight!''

"IT DOESN'T HELP ANY! If you stay like that you have a great chance of losing our baby! Addison wake up! This is not fun anymore! This is death serious!"

''I won't lose our baby, don't accuse me of that!'' Tears filled her eyes.

"If you keep going on like this you might! I don't want that! So please just few more lbs!"

''No.'' She shook her head.

"Yes Addison." He said. "I don't want you to die, I can't live my life without you."

''I won't fucking die! Do I look like I'm dying to you?''

"No! But Addison you fucking have to understand that you have become one of those women who just fucking keep loosing weight! STOP IT! I hate it!"

''I'm not losing anymore weight, do you want me to write it down?''

"No! I want you to GAIN weight! For fuck's sake Addison stop killing yourself!"

''I'm not killing myself.'' She sat down on a chair. Derek walked closer. "Yes you are but you don't understand it. I'm worried out of my mind."

''You have no reason to worry about me.''

"I do, you're starving yourself."

''I'm not, not anymore.''

"But you're still underweighted Addison, I don't want you to be like that. I want my old Addie back, the one that had a nice ass you could grab, the one that you weren't afraid to break with the movement of your hips. I don't want the new Addie." This might have been a little rough but it was the truth.

''I haven't changed.'' She said quietly. ''And I still have that fat ass.''

"Your body has changed too much Addison, take some of the weight back okay? And your pretty, curvy ass that I love so much is gone."

''It isn't! And god I will gain weight later, I'm pregnant remember?''

"Later is not soon enough! Addison, you got my attention with this, now please would you stop it already and go back to being you! I don't fucking want to yell at you about this!"

''I don't want to lose weight, I enjoy being thin and being able to wear everything and not constantly having to think of huge thighs and a fat ass and a floppy belly.''

"You did not have huge thighs or a floppy belly or a fat ass! Addison I freaking loved all those parts of your body! Now they're gone! I fucking want them back, I'm not going to watch you turning yourself into a skeleton!"

''It's my body, not yours!''

"Fine! Maybe it is but you're my wife and what you're doing right here is risking your and your baby's life."

''I'm not, our baby is fine, if anything is harming our baby it was you earlier!'' She spat although she didn't mean it. His eyes widened. "Excuse me? You have got to be kidding me!"

''Do I look like I am?''

"Fuck you." Derek shook his head, starting to walk away from her, back into the building.

Addison bit on her lip, trying not to cry. He reached for the handle, getting a small electric shock from it. He looked at her, sitting there, all alone, all miserable. A happy looking woman passed him by, _wow there still were some gentlemen_ , she thought, _some people still open doors for ladies_ . She silently started to pick her food, not even hungry for that anymore. Derek sighed and stepped into the building, only to return 10 seconds later with a hamburger. Addison hugged her arms around herself, watching the families next to her. Derek walked towards her and sat down on a chair next to her. Addison sighed, turning her head away, he didn't have to see her like this. He focused on unwrapping his Big Mac, the wrapping paper making this certain rustling voice. Addison stared in front of her.

"I'm sorry okay?" He said quietly before he took a bite. She tried to ignore him.

"Do I have to start dancing the Funky Chicken in front of you before you listen to me?" He asked after swallowing. She didn't say anything.

"Would you even show me that you're listening to me?"

''You said, fuck you to me, why should I listen to you now?''

"You said it was my fault what happened earlier. I agree, it was partly my fault. But I fucking didn't do it so you can stop making me guilty about it. I already feel guilty enough."

''Oh and you think I don't, do you realize you're actually telling me I'm murdering my own child?''

"Well I needed to get your attention, we need to fix this before it actually happens."

''I can take care of myself, I've been doing that for a while now.'' She said bitter.

"Addison I know I haven't been a great husband in the past, but can't you see the change? I care for you. I love you. I don't want anything bad to happen to you and I do consider this as a bad thing."

''Why?''

"Because you're so small I'm afraid I'm going to break you."

''That's ridiculous.''

"I know it is, but please Addison, try to gain back some of your weight, I don't think you looked fat, you weren't fat at all."

''I was and now I'm not and it's a lot better.''

"Now you're way too skinny, it worries me."

''Oh don't make me laugh, you haven't even noticed.''

"No need to be mean here Addison."

''I'm not trying to be mean.''

"You are being mean."

''I'm speaking the truth.''

"Well let's talk the truth. Addison if you keep that weight you're going to have a miscarriage."

''I am not!''

Derek looked at her. "You will and I'm not saying this to be mean or because it's what I want. I don't want any of this to happen but I need you to listen, take a bite of a sandwich every now and then."

''I do, god I am eating.''

"You're not eating enough I think, I think that's what everyone thinks."

''And who is everyone?''

"It doesn't matter, the point is, gain just a little bit more weight and we wouldn't need to worry."

''It's my body and I have control over it, not you.''

"I don't want you to lose our child!"

''I won't!''

"You might!"

''No.''

"Addison I'm calling your father."

''No!''

"Addison please stop this, just a few lbs." He was almost begging. She shook her head.

"Why in the world won't you gain weight?"

''Because I don't want to.''

"So you're willing to die because you want to look like a frigging Nicole Richie?"

''I don't want to look like her and I am not DYING! If you say that one more time then I'm leaving.''

"Addison. Please."

''No.''

He nodded slowly, he didn't agree with her but he couldn't do anything about this.

''It's my body, I'm healthy and I'm fine and so is our baby.''

"Okay then." He had to do something about her, he just had to.

''So you can accept this?''

"Like you said it's your body." that is dying, he added in his mind.

''Is that a yes or a no?''

"It's 'I still don't get why the heck you're doing this but I'm your husband and I'm supposed to love you and support you in sickness and in health, in ups and downs.'" He looked down at his hamburger, suddenly he had lost his appetite. Addison just nodded.

"You want a bite of my Big Mac?" He asked.

''Just one.'' Because you so desperately need to know I'm not dying.

"Thank you." He let out a sigh of relief and handed the burger to her. This was progress, right? She looked at the hamburger and tried not to wince as she bit off a bite, giving it back to him.

"Now that's my girl." He took a bite of the hamburger that kind of a tasted like Addison.

''This is horrible.'' She couldn't help but laugh as she swallowed it. Derek laughed softly at the expression on her face. "Shut up! A Big Mac is not horrible!"

''It tastes like absolute shit.''

"It does not now shut up before I stick another piece of it into your mouth." He took a large bite.

''No, I ate one and I don't need a second.''

He pecked her cheek, leaving some mayonnaise on her cheek. She wiped it off with her hand. Which he then licked off her hand. "There, happy?"

She chuckled. ''How am I tasting?''

"Better than strawberries with whipped cream." He grinned.

''I'm gonna take that as a compliment.''

"It's meant to be, you know I love strawberries and whipped cream is... fun." His mind wondered back to their early years for a moment.

''It is...'' She looked at him. ''Could you please give me a hug?''

A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he moved so that he could wrap his arms around her.

''Thanks.'' She whispered.

"Anytime." He mumbled, afraid that he was hugging her too tightly. She closed her eyes, letting out a breath as she hugged him closely. He bit on his lip to keep himself from asking if he was hugging her too hard.

''I can't have you being repulsed by me.'' She whispered, her voice breaking.

"Aww honey... there's nothing in the world that would make me repulse you. Nothing. You're the sexiest woman alive if someone asks me."

''You said the things you liked about me are gone now...''

"I love you, and I do love your pretty butt, I do love your thighs, I do love that cute tummy of yours. I'd like to get them back, I still think you're sexy, you still rock my world, but... I can't just rock your world as hard as I used to because I'm scared that I'm going to hurt you."

She frowned.

"Look I'm sorry, I'm just afraid that I'm going to hurt you."

''Why would you?''

"Because you're much smaller than before."

''How is that bad?''

"You'll bruise easily, you'll get hurt easily, I don't want to bruise you, or hurt you."

''I won't, I'm not a doll.''

"I just said, that's just how I feel."

''You're hurting me more with this than you'd ever possibly can do physically.''

"I'm concerned Addison that doesn't mean I don't love you."

''It feels like it.''

"I'm sorry you feel that way but that is not true. I love you, I love your sexy little ass and the way your hips swing when you walk."

Addison just looked at him sadly. He brought his hand to her cheek. She looked into his eyes. He slowly, gently brushed her cheek. She looked down. He sighed before he removed his hand. She closed her eyes. He pulled back from her and leaned back on his chair, carrying on with eating. She let out a small sigh, feeling her heart break. "You want to take a long bath today?" He asked quietly, taking another bite from the hamburger. She just shrugged.

"Kay."

''I'm going to take a walk.'' She said barely audible, getting up.

"Seriously?" Derek asked with a sigh. She tried to swallow away the lump she had in her throat, putting her cardigan on closer before she started to walk. Derek sighed deeply, he just wanted to run after her and talk to her, make her eat 4 litres of ice cream and cinnamon rolls so that she'd gain some weight. "Addie?" He called behind her as he got up. She shook her head, wincing as she closed her eyes, daring the tears not to fall. Fuck. He knew he shouldn't have talked to her in the first place. He hit himself to the back of the head before he carried on watching her walk away. She started walking faster and faster. He closed his eyes, he couldn't do this. This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening after all the hard work. She broke out in sobs. He gently rubbed his forehead, his eyes shut closed. He didn't feel like a good husband at the moment. Not at all. Theresa walked outside when she looked out of the window and saw Derek sitting alone. He kept his eyes shut, one tear rolling down his cheek which he quickly wiped away.

''Where is Addison?''

"She went for a walk." He mumbled.

''What?''

"Mom..."

''Yes?''

"I don't know... I don't know what to do anymore."

''Why aren't you going after her?''

"She doesn't want me to!"

''God Derek! Where did she go?''

"I don't know."

''Which way?''

"Right, she always prefers right over left." He slowly opened his eyes. Theresa shook her head at him. Something in his eyes changed. "Could you hold this? Thanks." He stuck his hamburger in Theresa's hand before he started to walk towards his car. Theresa looked after him. He got into his car and started it, heading to the right, "If I was a desperate pregnant woman crying... where would I go?" Theresa watched him. He shook his head before he scanned the sight in front of him, there was no movement in the street, there as no one. Addison sat on a bench at the bus stop, managed to calm down a bit. He drove forward before he faced another decision, left? Or right? His eyes welled up, he had nothing. She sat there, with her head in her hands. He finally made a decision, driving slowly, his heart skipping a beat when he realised she might not go home today. She had her eyes closed, no clue what she had to do. He drove slowly, looking around, hoping she'd be alright. She hoped a bus arrived soon. She just wanted to go home. She was sick and tired and she missed her father like hell.

"FUCK!" He hit the steering wheel frustrated, driving along the street. Addison sat up, wrapping her arms around herself. He passed by a bus stop, looking at the few people, scanning their faces. No one familiar, not the person he needed the most. He shook his head but not a second later he realised who was sitting on the bench. She simply stared at the pavement. He parked to the side of the road, _whatever_ , he thought, _sue me_ . Addison didn't notice the car. He got out of the car, walking towards her with quick steps. She stared at her feet. Soon he reached her, looking at her crushed appearance. She looked up, seeing him standing in front of her.

"I came." He stated as he wiped off the few tears.

''I'm going home.''

He nodded. "We have to talk."

She shook her head. He shook his head at her. "I'm not asking, I'm telling you that we need to talk."

''We talked and we only made it worse. I'm going home.''

"I'm not going to live in a marriage without words, we're talking about this."

''I'm going home.''

"Then we're talking at home."

''I don't wanna talk. I'm tired.''

"Not talking will make this just worse."

''We're not meant Derek.'' She said with tears in her eyes. He just blinked at her words.

''Everything is against us. Just when I think it's finally our time to be happy, when I think we can drop our gears for a minute and stop fighting for our marriage I'm being proved wrong. I'm tired of fighting.''

"No one said it was going to be easy, we knew it was going to be rough to try again Addison. I don't... I don't want to fight. We fight over the most stupidest things on earth, I don't want to fight. I can't undo things. Just because the world loves to kick our asses doesn't mean we weren't meant to be!" He didn't even know if he was breathing, or he just simply didn't care anymore.

''I'm to tired to fight anymore. I want to be happy now, I don't get why we can't get to be happy for a second.'' She wiped away the tears that kept falling.

"I can't fight anymore. Addison. I can't. I want to be happy, take bubble baths, lie in bed together, spend time with Hails and Jussie. I can't keep fighting. I can't." He shook his head.

''Well I can't either.''

"I won't. I can't keep doing this."

''What are we gonna do?'' She looked up at him, sniffing.

"I don't want to live without you." He stated, staring in front of him blindly.

''I don't want that either...''

He swallowed hard, looking down to the ground. "I can't live without you."

''Then don't.'' She whispered, holding the necklace she had gotten many years ago.

"I won't." He assured her, finally able to gaze at her, looking at her hands playing with the simple necklace he loved so much, the one he had used at least two hours to choose. She took a deep breath in. ''Then what will we do I mean, this won't solve itself will it?''

He shook his head. "It won't, we need to talk to each other or..."

''Or?''

"Or to some outsider." He looked into her eyes, hell he didn't even know anything else besides that he wanted them to work.

''You mean professional?''

"Yes, that's the option number two." He sighed, they were only 23 and talking about counselling.

''I want to try to solve it between us ourselves first, maybe this is just a rough patch we need to work through.''

He nodded at her words. "Yeah, maybe it is."

''And I know I need to gain weight, even though I'm not admitting it to you. I'm not stupid and I know it's unhealthy and I will gain weight, even if it's just for the baby but I can't have you pushing me and trying to shove a hamburger I don't even normally eat down my throat.''

He nodded. "I just want you to be healthy I just want... I need you to be here, I just want to... hold you till the rest of our lives, be together till the end. I just... I can't lose you. I'm sorry I acted like a jerk about this. I just seem to always think about the worst case scenario."

''We need to make this work.''

"We will make this work."

''We have to.''

"We are going to work this out."

She nodded.

"It'll be okay, now, it'll be good."

''How?''

"Tonight, we're not going to mention any of the whole situation, tonight, we'll just be happy, okay? We need some happiness instead of fighting."

Addison nodded again, hoping that this would work. She wanted for them to get through this, to heal together and get out of this even stronger. He nodded as well. "Addi?" He asked quietly.

''Yeah?'' She looked at him.

"I'm sorry that sometimes it takes me time to realize what to do." He said honestly. "Sorry I didn't follow you the second you left."

''Oh...''

"Yeah.. I guess I just wanted you to know I'm sorry about that."

''Okay.''

"Yeah..."

''I'm sorry for walking away I just... I didn't want you to see me cry.'' Her turn to be honest.

"Why didn't you?" He sat next to her, leaving some space between them. She shrugged. ''Mommy's aren't supposed to be crying.''

"You made me cry. With leaving." He said, turning his head to look at her.

''I didn't mean to.''

"I know you didn't mean to. I didn't mean to make you cry either."

She nodded.

"Um... do you still want to... take a bus?"

''What do you mean?''

"You were going home, do you still want to? Or will you come with me?" He asked.

''Yeah I guess, life goes on right?''

"Yeah." He wiped away her tears. "Life goes on."

She nodded, getting up. He got up as well, a small sigh of relief leaving his lips. She hesitantly took his hand. He gave her hand a comforting squeeze as they headed towards the car. She got into the passengers seat. He opened the door and got into the car. She put on her seatbelt. Derek did the same before starting the car. She looked at him. Derek turned to look at her for one brief moment, giving her a smile. She closed her eyes and gave him a kiss. He slowly kissed her back. Her hand rested loosely on his cheek. He let his hand move to her arm, only touching it slightly. They softly kissed.


	14. Bath time, Bed time and Fighting time

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 14 – Bath time, Bed time and Fighting time_

Derek walked into the kitchen, taking a carton of orange juice from the fridge, he filled himself a glass and walked back into the living room where he was greeted by a sight that made him smile like he was retarded, Hailey and Justin were playing with Hailey's Barbies on the floor while Addison watched them from the couch.

''Hey sweeties shall we have bath time now?'' Addison asked. Justin's head shot up and he grinned. "With the ship?"

''Yeah with the ship but no flooding the bathroom this time please.'' She got up. Justin carefully placed the Barbie on the floor before following his mother.

''C'mon Hails.'' She held out her hand for her daughter. Hailey smiled, taking the hand her mother had offered and pulled herself up.

''Thank you.'' She walked up the stairs with them.

"Momma? If Justin gets the ship, do I get to play with the duck?" She asked.

''Mhm sure.''

"Yay! I want the pink one this time!"

''You can have the pink one.'' She walked into the nursery.

"Yay!" Hailey exclaimed and hugged her mother tightly.

''C'mon let's get you two undressed.''

Justin started to lift up his own shirt while he was still carried by his mother. She chuckled, putting them down on the floor in their room. Justin quickly threw away the shirt and then tapped his stomach while Hailey sat on the floor and started to remove her socks. Addison opened their closet getting out new diapers, underwear and their pyjamas. Just a few seconds later Justin ran out of the room, only wearing his socks.

''Hey Jussie, get back!''

Justin bit on his lip and returned to the room, well only to the doorway.

''Come here.''

He walked towards his mother, looking up to her.

''Do socks go in bath?''

He looked down to his feet. "Momma I forgot socks!"

''Yeah exactly, take them off.''

Justin grinned and sat on the floor, taking off his socks.

''Good boy. Hailey are you done?''

"Yes!" Hailey nodded and walked towards the door.

''Wait for me.'' Addison chuckled.

"Run!" Hailey grinned and carried on walking. Justin ran after his sister, leaving the socks lying on the floor.

''No.'' She followed them into the bathroom. Hailey pouted sadly before looking at the bathtub.

''What's wrong honey?'' Addison put the things she was holding down, laying a towel down in front of the bath.

"Mommy I want bubbles!" She exclaimed.

''It won't be a long bath time though sweetie.'' Addison pulled the plug in and started the bubble bath.

"Why not?" Justin yelped before getting into the tub.

''Because mommy is really tired.'' She lifted Hailey in. Hailey pouted again. "Whyyyyyy?"

''Honey I'm really tired and I need to take a bath as well.''

Hailey crossed her arms in front of her chest. "But I want to play with bubbles!"

''And you can, just not for an entire hour.''

She pouted again, bringing her arms higher on her chest.

''Hailey stop it.''

Hailey took some bubbles in her other hand and started poking them with her finger. Addison added some lotion into the bath.

"Can I get my duck nowwwww?" She asked with a pouty face.

''If you ask nicely.''

"Please?" She batted her eyelashes.

''Alright.'' Addison got the rubber duck for her.

"Yay!" Hailey grinned and held out her arms towards the duck. Addison laughed. ''Catch!'' She threw it at her.

Hailey tried, somehow managing to receive the duck. She looked at it happily.

"Candy, we get to take a bath now!"

''Candy?'' She chuckled. She nodded. "Her name is Candy!"

''Wow, what a nice name.''

"I know!" Hailey grinned proudly. Addison chuckled. Hailey started playing with the bubbles, making the rubber duck dive. Addison sat down on the closed toilet lit, watching them. Justin started tossing and turning in the bathtub, causing the water to get dangerously close to the edge.

''Be careful Jussie.''

"Whyyyyyy?" He didn't calm down.

''Because the water is going over the tub.''

"Oh." The little boy stopped the movement. "Can I get my shippppp?"

''If you calm down.''

"I will! I will!" The boy blinked his eyes, trying not to move.

''Okay.'' She got his ship out. Justin grinned. "Gigantic!"

Addison laughed, giving it to him.

He started to hum the theme song of Knight Rider as he played with his ship.

Addison sat back down. The kids carried on playing with their own toys, Hailey starting to sing for the duck. Addison rubbed her face tiredly. Hailey started to sing with a high pitched voice. Addison started laughing. Hailey gave her a disapproving look. "Momma. I can't hear my singing if you laugh."

''Sorry sweetie, sorry.''

Hailey pouted before she started singing another song. Addison had to clasp her hand in front of her mouth as she started to laugh loudly. Hailey stared at her mother before pouting. "MOMMA! Candy can't hear if you laugh!"

''Don't sing!'' Justin threw water over his sister. She looked shocked and splashed some water back to him. "Stupid Jussie I sing if I want to!"

''You sing ugly!'' He splashed it over her head.

''Hey, hey, hey!'' Addison got up.

"JUSSIE SPLASHED WATER INTO MY EYESS!" Hailey began to cry.

''Alright, bath time is over.'' Addison reached into the water, pulling out the plug.

"Noooo!" Hailey just cried harder.

''Yes.'' Addison got a towel. ''Up.''

Hailey held onto the edge of the bathtub. "Noo!"

''Hailey mommy is not in the mood for games now!''

Hailey held out her arms for her.

''Thank you.'' She wrapped Hailey in the towel and picked her up, not caring she was getting wet. Hailey nodded, tears still rolling down her cheeks.

''How's your eye?'' She looked at the little girl.

"It's wet and hurting." Hailey answered truthfully. Addison wiped at her eye with the towel carefully. Hailey sniffed but soon the sad pouting disappeared.

''Do you want me to give a kiss on it?''

She nodded her head slowly. She gave a soft kiss on her eye. A small smile appeared on Hailey's face and she wrapped her arms around her mother's neck.

''You're making me all wet silly.''

"Sorry momma, do you want me to stop?" Hailey asked with a sad expression on her face as she pulled back.

''No, that's okay.'' She hugged her close. Hailey hugged her mother back as tight as she could.

''I love you sweetheart.''

"I love you too mommy." She mumbled against her shoulder.

''And I think you have a lovely voice.''

"Really?" Hailey asked hopefully.

''Mhm.'' She smiled. ''Really.''

"Thanks mommy." Hailey dropped a wet kiss on her cheek.

''You're welcome sweetie.'' She gave her one more kiss on the lips before putting her down to the floor. Hailey pouted sadly. "Can I go to mine and Justin's room?"

''Yeah go there and then I'll get you two ready for bed.'' She turned to the now nearly empty bath. Hailey nodded before leaving the room, the towel still around her.

''Up honey.''

Justin pouted sadly. "But I don't want to!"

''Come on sweetheart, it's bedtime.''

"But I still want to play!" He stood up.

''You can play tomorrow.'' She wrapped his towel around his little body. He pouted angrily before stepping out of the bathtub.

''Hey!'' She bent down to his eyelevel. He crossed his arms in front of his chest.

''You can say night to daddy and then I'll read you a bedtime story.''

A wide grin spread on his face before he ran out of the room. "DADDAAAAA!"

''Justin come back.'' Addison sighed tiredly.

"But I'm gonna say night to dadda!" He exclaimed, leaning against the doorframe.

''Yeah but you and Bug need to get dressed first.''

He pouted sadly. "Me no naked?"

''No.'' She chuckled.

"Oh." He said a little disappointed.

''Come on.'' She gave him a kiss.

Justin pecked his mother's lips before making a mad dash towards his and Hailey's room. She shook her head laughing, getting up as she walked into the nursery with the diapers and clothes. Hailey grinned widely when Addison stepped into the room. "Mommy!"

''Hey Bunny.''

She held out her hands. "I want to get dressed! Now."

''Alright.'' She picked her up and laid her on the changing table. Hailey started playing with her own hair absently. She put on her diaper. Hailey casually started humming again which then turned into a silent singing. "Hush little baby don't you cry..."

Addison smiled at her, putting her underwear on.

"Daddy's gonna buy you a mocking bird... I'am give you the world... I'am buy a diamond ring for you... I'am sing for you..." She stopped to remember the lyrics. Addison gave her a kiss. ''Who thought you that song?''

"It was in the radio." She batted her eyelashes.

''Oh.'' She put on her pyjamas. She nodded once her mother had finished, sitting up straight.

''I'm gonna sit you on the bed, go comb your hair until I'm done with Jussie okay?''

"But I like it when you comb it..."

''You do?''

She nodded her head. "It feels funny."

''When I do it or when you do it?'' She chuckled.

"When I do it." She smiled widely, "It doesn't tickle when you do it…"

''Then I'll comb it for you.'' She placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

"Yay." She smiled.

She leaned in and gave her daughter a hug. Hailey hugged her back tightly as Justin tugged at Addison's jeans.

''Yeah sweetie?'' She pulled back from Hailey a bit to look at her son.

"Do I have to get dressed?"

''Yeah baby, you can't go around naked.''

"Why not?" He asked honestly.

''Because it's not something you can do.''

"Oh... why not?"

''You will get cold.''

"Oh." He held out his arms as to be picked up. She picked him up and sat him next to Hailey. Justin looked at his mother, waiting for her to start. She dried him a little before putting his diaper on. Justin rubbed his face tiredly. Addison gave him a kiss and put on his little boy's underwear. Justin let out a chuckle, pecking her nose. She smiled widely at her little boy. Justin grinned widely just when Derek walked in. Addison didn't notice her husband and started putting Justin's pyjamas on.

"I came to say goodnight to you." Derek walked closer to them.

"Daddy!" Hailey smiled widely.

''Dadda.'' Justin smiled.

"Hey babies." Derek finally reached the changing table and picked up Hailey. Addison smiled a little at them. Derek placed a kiss on the top of his baby girl's head. Addison got a comb and carefully brushing Justin's hair.

"Hmm did you have fun?" Derek softly talked to his daughter, placing small kisses on her forehead.

''I played with Candy.'' She wrapped her arms around his neck carefully.

"Candy? Who has such a lovely name?" Derek held her close to him, swaying a little.

''My little ducky.'' She put her thumb into her mouth closing her eyes.

"Aww honey that is a wonderful name." Derek whispered against her hair.

''Thank you daddy.'' She whispered tiredly. ''Shall we name the baby Candy?''

"You can name your own baby Candy when you grow up, we wouldn't steal your baby's name." Derek smiled at his daughter.

''I won't have a baby.''

"You will, someday you will." Derek placed a kiss on her hair.

''When I'm really big?''

"When you're really big." He nodded. She leaned back to give her daddy a sloppy kiss on his cheek before laying her head back in the crook of his neck, her thumb back in her mouth. He smiled widely at her, dropping a few kisses on the top of her head, hugging her close to him.

''Daddy?'' She asked sleepily.

"Yes bunny?" He replied, softly stroking her back.

''Will you sleep in my bed?''

"Honey, that bed is a little too small." Derek smiled softly.

''I can lie against you.''

"Aww honey." Derek looked at Addison, raising his eyebrows.

''Hmm?''

"Honey I'll sleep with you tomorrow night, okay?" Derek directed his question to Hailey, slowly shifting her.

''Why not this night?''

"Daddy is very tired now." Derek answered.

''But that's why you can sleep in my bed, it's really soft and I will be a good girl and go sleep.''

Derek chuckled softly. "Tomorrow, I promise."

''Daddy pleaaaaseeeeee.''

"I'll sleep with you tomorrow night, the whole night I'm gonna be holding you close to my chest, okay?"

''Okay then.'' She sighed heavily.

"I promise." He pressed a kiss on her hair.

''I love you daddy.''

"I love you too princess." He placed a kiss on her forehead. Hailey smiled. Derek gently brushed her hair.

''Daddy mommy has to comb my hair now.''

"Oh okay." Derek smiled a little before placing his daughter onto the changing table, taking Justin from Addison, placing a sweet peck on Addison's cheek as he did so. Addison smiled a little at him. Derek gave her a smile back and then started stroking Justin's back.

''Hey daddy.''

"Hi Jussie, are you tired?"

''No.'' He lied.

"I think you are a little tired..." He placed a small kiss on his lips.

''Just a little.'' He pouted.

"Aw, well a boy your age should be a little tired at this hour." Derek smiled softly.

''Yeah?''

"Yeah you should be."

''Are you going to bed too?''

"Daddy will take a quick shower and then daddy will go to bed."

''With mommy?''

"Going to where with mommy?"

''Bed.''

"Yeah I'm going to sleep with mommy."

''On top of each other?'' He asked innocently.

"No, next to each other sweetheart."

''Why?''

"Because both, mommy and daddy are very tired."

''And then you sleep next to each other?''

"Yes."

''That's weird.''

"Why do you think it's weird?"

''It just is.''

"Okay." He pecked his son's lips.

''Mommy has boobies!'' He suddenly said grinning.

"Excuse me?" Derek stared at him in shock.

''Mommy has boobies!'' He said again.

"Yes she does sweetie." Really big... round... nice... very squeezable.. and massagable ones

''Big boobies.''

"Honey, it's not nice to think about other people's boobs." Yeah... do not think... about them... but they look so good. Just one quick peek Derek, JUST ONE. His gaze dropped to Addison's chest for a small moment.

''Why not?'' He asked while Addison was combing Hailey's hair, talking to her. Derek unwillingly returned his gaze to his son. "It just isn't, honey."

''But whyyyyyyyy?''

"Because women can be really sensitive about that kind of stuff, so don't talk to mommy about it." He pecked his son's lips.

''Oooookaaaay.''

"Good boy now let me take you to the bed."

''Okays.''

Derek smiled and carried his little boy to the bed and slowly laid him down.

He instantly crawled under the covers. Derek tucked him in to the bed, placing a kiss on his forehead. "Good night baby."

''Night daddy.''

"Sweet dreams."

''You too!''

Derek pecked his lips once more when Addison carried Hailey towards her bed. Addison tucked her daughter into bed. Derek moved towards the other bed, looking down to Hailey who was still saying her goodnights to Addison.

"Goodnight mommy" Hailey held out her arms.

''Night baby girl.'' Addison leaned down to give her a kiss. Hailey pecked her mother's lips twice, her arms wrapping around her neck.

''I love you pretty girl.''

"I love you too honey momma sugar." Hailey mumbled.

''Aww.'' Addison smiled. Hailey smiled back to her sweetly once she pulled back.

''Sweet dreams princess.''

"You too mommy." Hailey leaned her head against the pillow.

''Thanks sweetie.''

Derek smiled at the sight. She stood up. Derek placed a small kiss on her cheek once again.

''I'm gonna take a bath.''

"Okay, try to relax." He said softly.

''Thanks.'' She gave him a small smile. He returned a small weak smile.

''Well, I'm gonna go to the bathroom now.''

"Okay, I'm gonna go to the bed, read a little and take a quick shower after you."

''Okay.'' She nodded. ''I won't take long then.''

"Okay." He nodded as well, dropping a kiss on Hailey's lips who was already fast asleep. She walked out of the room. He followed her after a while, walking straight into the bathroom.

''What are you doing?'' She asked confused.

"I'm just gonna brush my teeth." He said, grabbing his toothbrush.

''Oh okay.'' She awkwardly waited with undressing. He looked down to the sink as he started brushing his teeth. She tried to think of things to busy herself.

"You can go to bath, I promise not to look." He mumbled, carrying on staring at the sink.

''No... I'll wait.''

"Okay." He said, his heart skipping a beat... in a bad way.

''Sorry just... after what you said today... I don't feel comfortable undressing in front of you.'' She said honestly.

"Okay, are you thinking that I don't like your body now?" He asked. She shrugged, he had no idea how he had hurt her with his words today. He looked at her through the mirror. "I'm sorry about that Addison, I didn't mean those things. I do love you and your body."

She simply nodded though her face was written in sadness. He spit out the toothpaste, hating to see her like this. She let out a deep sigh, rubbing her face. He took a mouthful of water and then spit it out, he could hear her sighing. She closed her eyes. He turned around so that he could look at her. "There's nothing wrong with your body, don't you doubt that."

''You're making me doubt it.'' She opened her eyes.

"I'm sorry for that Addison." Derek replied, looking into her eyes. She looked back into his.

He made a sad smile. "Do you need me to make a list? I love everything about you Addie."

''No.''

"Addison look, there's nothing wrong with you."

''I feel like there is.''

"And I gave you that feeling?"

''Partly yeah.''

"And how could we fix that?"

''I don't know honestly.''

He nodded. "Okay, well..." He turned to face the sink, placing his toothbrush where it belong. "I'm gonna go to bed."

''Night...''

"Good night." He said quietly, starting to walk out of the room. "Can I get a kiss?"

She shrugged. He sighed. "Enjoy your bath." He walked out.

She closed her eyes when he left though the tears fell anyway. He crawled into the cold bed, under the covers, intending on getting some sleep. She put on the tap and got undressed before stepping into the hot water. Derek closed his eyes, the bed was way too cold. But soon he realised that what he really needed wasn't warmness, it wasn't a stupid sheet, it was actually... Addison. After about 30 minutes Addison was done and silently tip-toed into their bedroom, getting a blanket. He rolled onto his side. "I don't want to be kidnapped." He mumbled. ''What?'' She whispered, jumping a bit. "Stupid British puppies kidnapping sleeping people." He murmured against his pillow. She frowned, taking a spare blanket from the closet. He rolled onto his stomach and stayed asleep. She made her way out of the room. Derek didn't have any idea of his wife's actions. She walked down the stairs with the blanket. She walked into the living room, sighing as she looked at the couch. Slowly she laid down, putting the blanket over herself as she curled up her legs to fit on the couch. She shut her eyes closed, one arm wrapped around her stomach. She held her stomach, hoping it would get better for the baby. It didn't deserve to be born like this. It had done nothing wrong, it was innocent in this. She wanted to keep it that way, protect her baby. She kept her eyes shut tightly, rubbing her stomach. She tried to catch some sleep, hoping she wouldn't dream about anything. It didn't matter anymore. She just wanted to fall asleep, forget about how he breath felt stocked in her throat, how her heart literally ached and how the tears stung behind her closed eyes. She just wanted to forget everything and fall into a dreamless sleep.

It was 1 am when he woke up, he groaned and tossed to the other side, his hand reaching for a human contact. It hit the cold mattress. He opened his eyes so that they were wide open. Where was she? He got up and looked around the room, then walking into the nursery to see if she was there. There was no sight of her, had she even got in to the bed? Oh. Dear. God. His heart seemed to drop and his face fell. He made a mad dash towards the bathroom. Maybe she was depressed? What if... what if she had done something? He opened the door. Luckily the bathroom was empty. He let out a sigh of relief and leaned his head against the doorframe. Thank god... the colour started returning to his face. He closed the door, going down the stairs. He walked into the kitchen. Midnight snack? The room was empty. What was happening? He went into the living room, seeing a curled up body lying on the couch in the dark room. He felt relieved, and angry, there was a blanket over her so she had planned this, she hadn't just walked downstairs and fell asleep. She had actually planned on leaving him alone in their bed. He shook his head at her. She curled up her body even tighter. He walked closer to her, he needed to know if it really was her. She laid with her head buried in her arms, like she was protecting herself from something. He kneeled down next to the couch and simply watched her chest rise up and down. She kept on sleeping. He sat on the floor, wondering why in the world she did this. He softly took her hand. He looked at her features, was she depressed? Was she lonely? He checked her face, stroking her hand. He softly linked his fingers with hers, hoping that this really was just a phase. A small sigh escaped his lips which made Addison stir. Derek softly played with her fingers, waiting for her to wake up so that he could get his answer. Her breathing got more unsteady though she didn't wake up.

"Addie..?" He asked quietly, brushing away a stray of hair.

''Hmm.'' She stirred.

"Addison..?" He couldn't help but smile at her. Her eyes fluttered open.

"You're sleeping on the couch." He stated, his smile fading. She blinked her eyes at him, not saying anything.

"You're sleeping... on the couch." He said again, this time you could hear hurt in his voice.

''Yeah..'' She looked down.

"Why? Why did you sleep on the couch?"

''I thought it would be better...''

"Better for who? It isn't going to solve anything, it'll just hurt me."

''Why?''

"You could have at least told me to move to the couch, I was worried, I didn't know where you were."

''Where else would I be?''

"I don't know Addison, I don't know anymore."

''I didn't tell you because you were asleep.''

"Leave a note? Addison, you have no idea how it felt to find an empty bed and then realise she hadn't even slept in the bed."

''Why would I leave a note, it's not like I went anywhere outside.''

He shook his head. "Avoiding is getting us nowhere."

''I'm not avoiding you.''

"Okay, then why aren't you even sleeping in bed? This is not good for your back."

''I wouldn't be able to sleep if I lied next to you.''

"Oh. Why not?" He stared into her eyes.

''Because of what happened.'' And because I don't wanna lie next to you wishing you'd turn around and wrap your arms around me because that won't happen.

"Okay... well you know I didn't mean it..." He shifted uncomfortably, looking down to the floor not knowing what to do. "You know I love you."

She looked at the wall, not giving an answer.

"Addison please come to the bed."

''I'm fine with sleeping here.''

"Go to bed Addison, I'm taking the couch."

''No.''

"Why not?"

''Because I don't want you to sleep on the couch.''

"Addison I'm okay with the couch, go to the bed now, I don't want you to be cold and aching."

''I'm not cold and aching.''

"Go to bed, now. Please just go there."

''I won't let you sleep on the couch because of me.''

"You will and you are. Now go. It's not a big deal." Except that it is.

''No, I'm staying here. I'm fine and you hadn't even noticed I wasn't there until you woke up.''

"Well that is called sleeping, of course I didn't know you weren't there. Now go to the bed."

''No!''

"Addison I'm not arguing at 1 am, now go to the bed please."

''I'm sleeping here.''

He got up. "I'm not letting you stay here."

''You have no other choice. I won't sleep next to you and I'm not going to sleep alone in that bed either.''

"Well I won't sleep there alone either." He crossed his arms, looking down to her.

''You already did.''

"Because I thought you'd be there sleeping next to me later."

''Go sleep with Hailey.''

"I'm already going don't you worry about it." He left the room, walking towards the stairs, shaking his head. Addison sighed and closed her eyes again, mumbling something. He took support from the railing and walked up the stairs with quick steps. She desperately tried to fall back asleep. Derek opened the door of his children's room and stepped inside, walking towards Hailey's bed. She looked so innocent when she was asleep. Her thumb was in her mouth. He crawled into the bed with her, moving her to lay on his chest while whispering comforting things to her so that she'd know it was just Derek.

''Daddy?'' She sleepily opened her eyes.

"Yeah it's daddy..." Derek mumbled into her ear, bringing up the covers. "Daddy's here..."

''Are you sleeping here?''

"Yeah daddy didn't want to see the pouting face of his little princess."

''But what about mommy? Is she alone now?''

"Mommy is a big girl and she has many warm blankets with her."

''Shall I wake up Jussie and ask if he will sleep in her bed?''

"Honey you don't need to do that, Jussie is very tired."

''Are you sure daddy? Because I'm sure he would do that.''

"Yeah daddy's sure about this." He mumbled.

''But I don't want mommy to be alone.'' She said innocently.

Derek sighed. "Me neither but this night mommy wants to be alone and sleep on the couch."

''On the couch?'' Her head shot up and she looked at her father shocked.

"On the couch because she'll get up early tomorrow to make breakfast, it's not a big deal honey." Derek gently brushed her back.

''She isn't sad because you went to sleep in my bed right? Is she sleeping on the couch for that?''

"No it's not because of that sweetie, it has nothing to do with you. I promise."

"Can I go tell her that she'll have you back tomorrow?''

"No you don't have to, she knows I'll be there always for her."

''Oh. How?'' The little girl asked.

"Because we're married, and we love each other. And because she has that necklace, I'll always be in her heart and she'll be in mine."

''Oh.'' She smiled.

"Yeah, so sleep pumpkin, daddy's here." Derek placed a kiss on Hailey's cheek. She nodded. ''Night daddy.''

"Night sweetie" He closed his eyes.

''I love you.'' She mumbled sleepily.

"I love you too, so much." He replied, knowing he wasn't going to sleep this night. The girl already was on the first train to dreamland.


	15. Awkwardness, Blueberry cupcakes &Showers

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 15 –_

The following morning Derek was still lying on the bed, he hadn't slept well, only few hours, and now he had been lying on the bed for three hours, this was not how he wanted to start his mornings. He gently nudged his little girl. "Hails..." Hailey just crawled deeper into her blankets. Derek chuckled, trying to move her.

''Daddy.'' She groaned. "Daddy has to go to the bathroom." Derek mumbled out a lame excuse and rolled them over and got off of her. She pulled the small blankets over her body to sleep again. "Sleep well baby." Derek placed a kiss on her forehead.

Soon she fell back asleep. Derek sighed and walked out of the room, down the stairs and into the kitchen. Addison was already up, or rather hadn't slept since he had come down, and was making a big breakfast in the kitchen. Derek looked at her with his eyes wide open. "Oh." Then his gaze dropped to the floor. "I didn't know you were up."

''I'm making breakfast, don't mind me.''

"Okay." I can't just not-mind you. "I'm just gonna go to the living room then."

''Why are you up?''

"I couldn't sleep to be honest." He replied, finally looking at her.

''Oh okay.''

"You're up too." He pointed out the obvious.

''Didn't sleep.''

"Oh. Why?" Like the answer wasn't obvious.

''I couldn't.'' She shrugged, continuing to make breakfast. He shrugged as well. "Making breakfast for me too?"

''Don't I always?''

"You do, thanks."

She checked the oven.

"What are you making then?" He asked, trying to think of a subject to talk about.

''Cinnamon rolls, blueberry cupcakes and raisin pancakes.''

"Sounds amazing." Derek nodded as he watched her.

''Thanks.''

Derek smiled a little. "Anytime."

She got out the cupcakes. Derek looked at them and just enjoyed the heavenly scent. She put them down on the kitchen counter before turning back to the pancakes. Derek moved to the counter, poking one of them, finding it very hot. He began to suck on his finger so it'd stop tingling.

''They're too hot.''

"I noticed." He mumbled with the finger still in his mouth.

''I made them for Hailey.''

"Yeah? She likes them a lot, doesn't she?"

''Yeah she's crazy about them.''

"Yeah, well they're great. Can I have one? Please?"

''If they're cooled down.''

"Yay." He poked the same one. "They areee."

She threw raisins in the still liquid pancake batter. Derek took one of the muffins and began to eat, hoping that this would wake up his appetite. She tried to ignore him, acting like everything was all okay while it wasn't. It really, truly, wasn't. He stuck the whole muffin into his mouth. "I think I'm gonna go for a run before the kids wake up."

''Oh...okay.''

"Unless you want to talk?"

''No it's just...I just remember...we haven't run together for ages.'' They used to run every morning before school.

"Would you like to come with me..?" He asked carefully. "We don't have to talk if you don't want to, just run, then jog and then just... walk and crawl back to the house."

''I can't leave the kids alone.''

"Yeah true." He said in a sad way.

''So I didn't mean anything with that just...go run. Have fun.''

"Thanks." He made a sad smile, starting to walk out of the room, with Addison the running had been fun, now it'd just be something that would calm him down so that he wouldn't yell his lungs out. "I'll try to." He smiled at her gently before he stepped out of the room and sighed, walking up the stairs.

Addison continued making the breakfast, feeling lonelier then ever with her house full of her own family. Derek walked into the bedroom and pulled on his sweatpants and a t-shirt, not even bothering to look into the mirror, what difference would it even make? She looked at the finished pancakes numbly. Why was she even here? They'd all be fine without her, if anything, it could make them even happier if she wasn't around. He practically jogged down the stairs, walking into the kitchen once more to say bye. "I'm gonna go now." She kept staring at the pancakes, not hearing him or even noting he was there. "Addie?" He called her name before sighing. Whatever. She looked at it like she was in some sort of trance. He groaned in frustration, shaking his head as he jogged off towards the door.

The door shut loudly and she seemed to snap out of it, looking around the kitchen. He ran, he ran as fast as he could, pushing himself to the limits, it was like he was running away from something. Addison rubbed her forehead tiredly, staring at the knives in the holder. It could all just be so easy. No fighting, no emotions, it would all be so simple and easy. It was just one step. He ran even faster till his legs were hurting, till his chest was aching, till the soles of his feet felt numb, till he was holding his stomach trying hard not to vomit. She stared at the knives almost daringly, reaching her hand out. No, not to grab them, she told herself, just to feel, to feel the sharp end of it. Her hand reached out further, her fingers curled around the handle and she slid it out of it's holder. She looked at it, almost in a studying way, bringing the tip to her finger. Just an inch before her skin. He leaned against a tree, holding his stomach with his other hand, his chest and head pounding, his pulse racing. It felt like someone was stabbing him with knives. He slowly closed his eyes. He just wanted to jog with her.

She pushed the tip of the knife into her index finger, immediately drawing blood from it. Red drops dripped from her finger, it stung. The blade felt so sharp, like it was new, or had never been used. She moved it to her arm, holding it close to the pale skin of her wrist. She wasn't going to do anything, she was just gonna feel how it felt. It all seemed so logical in her mind. He gasped for breath, feeling a wave of nausea hit him hard, it was like he had been hit to the guts. He clasped a hand in front of his mouth and tried to keep it down, shutting his eyes closed. He shouldn't have pushed himself this far.

Her breathing was heavier as her heartbeat went up, pointing the blade to her skin, she could feel the pressure of it against her skin though it wasn't cutting yet. She pushed her hand lower, just about to cut it in her skin when a child's cry could be heard from upstairs, making her jump and drop the knife. His breath got caught in his throat and he gasped loudly, the tree was the only thing holding him up. He tried to ignore the aching in his chest, his pounding heart when he stood straight. He sighed loudly and started to walk forward, not home, he wasn't ready just yet. Addison looked at the knife on the floor, her heart racing a mile a minute. What the hell was she doing? She looked shocked at it, getting pulled out of it when again the crying filled her ears. She turned around, quickly making her way out of the kitchen and upstairs.

"What the fuck am I doing?" Derek gasped as he started to jog, this wasn't making him feel any better, not at all. Why did he do this to himself if he knew this wasn't good. He just wanted to be home, or in the park, somewhere calm and right now... his home wasn't peaceful, it was a battlefield. She walked into the nursery, seeing Hailey crying in her bed. ''Shh baby, mommy's here, what's wrong?'' She hurried her way over to her daughter.

"I saw a nightmare!" She tried to calm down but there was no success.

''What did you dream baby?'' She stroked her back.

"I was at the pool… and there were dolphins…" Hailey began, tears pouring down her face. "And then I jumped in with them to play. They were fun…" She closed her eyes that were still full of fear. "But they were sharks." She said, her voice was still shocked. Of course it was scary for a two-year-old.

''Oh sweetheart, there are no sharks around here.'' She held Hailey so close, wanting to take all her fears away and make her feel safe.

"You sure?" She just had to confirm, her arms tightly around her mothers neck when the tears began to roll slower, her breathing become deeper.

''I'm sure.'' She confirmed, placing a tender kiss on her face.

"Have you ever seen a shark?" Hailey asked, looking at her mother with a serious face.

''At the zoo perhaps, why?''

"Why did god create sharks? And mosquitoes?"

''Because they're all part of the animal cycle on earth.''

"What is animal cycle?" She screwed up her face.

''Well animals eating other animals, we're all part of this world and we all function for something.''

"Oh. What eats sharks? Can we get more of those? I'm scared mommy, are you ever scared?"

''I can't think of an animal who eats sharks and we're all scared sometimes honey, there's nothing wrong with that.'' Except when you nearly slid your wrists to see if your broken heart is still pumping.

"Oh... I don't want to be scared, I want to be like daddy." She said simply, taking her pillow and giving it a hug.

''What do you mean?''

"Daddy is brave, he's like a daddy lion who's never scared."

''Yeah...'' Suddenly tears sprang into her eyes. ''Daddy's never scared.'' He just goes running without giving a shit. Hailey looked at her worried. "Did I say something wrong momma? I can take it back! Daddy is always scared!" She tried.

''No, nothing's wrong.'' She put on a fake smile.

"Oh... but you're crying." Tears welled up in Hailey's eyes.

''No, no I'm not crying, I just got a hair into my eye.'' She lied. Hailey looked scared. "Do you want me to give it a kiss?"

''Baby I'm fine, don't worry about it okay?''

"But there's a hair in your eye." She leaned closer to give it a kiss. Addison closed her eyes and put on a smile. Hailey quickly pecked it. "Feeling any better?"

''Loads.''

Hailey batted her eyelashes and smiled. "I'm a healer."

Addison smiled at her daughter. Hailey gave her one more quick hug. "You smell funny."

''I smell funny?''

"Like... like those blue little berries."

''Well I made fresh blueberry cupcakes.''

Hailey's eyes widened in excitement. "Really?"

''Yeah, really.'' She smiled.

"Yay! Can I eat them all?"

''Not all, I made a lot.''

"Oh. But I have a big tummy, I could eat them."

''Derek and Justin want some too.''

"But I like them the most." The little girl didn't realise that her mother had just said 'Derek' instead of Daddy.

''But that doesn't mean they can't have some either, I made them for all of you.''

She pouted sadly. "Hmphm."

''I also made raisin pancakes for Justin and cinnamon rolls for Derek and you can have some of those as well.''

"Yay! I love pancakes!" Hailey said excitedly.

''I know you do.''

Hailey grinned. "I'm not tired."

''Do you want to get up?''

She nodded. "Yeah."

''Okay.'' She got off of the bed and picked Hailey up. Hailey held on tight as if she wasn't planning on letting go.

''Do you need a new diaper honey?''

Hailey nodded again. "Yeah I think I do."

''Okay.'' She gave her a kiss and set her down on the changing table. Hailey started playing with Addison's hair, rolling it around her finger and then letting it go. She started taking off her pyjama pants. ''Shall we just dress you now or do you want to keep your pj's on?''

"I like my pyjamas." Hailey let her fingers wander over the picture in the front.

''So you want to keep them on for now?'' She took off the diaper and threw it into the diaper can.

"Yeah, I love Dora." She looked at the picture in the front with a happy smile on her face.

Addison gave her a smile and put on a new diaper. Hailey began to hum once again, she was a happy baby. She finished putting her daughter's pyjama pants back on and hugged her. If anyone could make her feel better it were her children. Hailey smiled and hugged her back, whispering three words into her ear. "I love you."

''I love you too baby.'' She whispered back, closing her eyes. Hailey smiled and hugged her tighter. "Can I get a cupcake now?"

''Yeah, of course.'' She picked Hailey up from the table, checking on Justin who was still asleep, laying half out of his bed.

"Yay." Hailey grinned widely, starting to play with her mother's hair again. She walked with her down the stairs.

At the same time Derek chuffed as he jogged, the pain had gone down a bit, he had just pushed through it. He ran again, he didn't exactly know where but at this point he didn't care.

Back at their house Hailey and Addison were sitting at the kitchen table eating the freshly baked blueberry cupcakes. Hailey stuck one in her mouth, half of it was left hanging out of her mouth.

''How does it taste?''

"Good, like blueberries." Hailey grinned widely once she had swallowed.

Derek ran, he ran faster and faster, his shirt was sweaty, he never did this, only with Addison and they never took it seriously. He decided it was time for him to go home.

''Almost as good as grandma's?''

She nodded. "Almost, you should get her paper."

''Yeah?''

"Yeah, the one that says flour and all that."

''You mean the recipe.''

"Oh. Yeah."

''I could ask her for it I guess.''

Hailey nodded. "Then you can act nanna."

Derek ran past the same trees and followed the same streets.

''Hmm what?''

"You can play nanna and make the cupcakes!"

Derek was now standing in front of their house, trying to catch his breath.

''Don't you like my cupcakes?''

"I do!" She grinned. "But then we can have lots of cup cakes!"

''We can't eat that much cupcakes.''

"I can!"

Derek walked towards the house with unsteady steps caused by the running.

''Nopes.''

"Yessss." Hailey pouted and began to eat another muffin while the door was opened. Addison looked up when she heard the front door opening. All sweaty and yucky Derek walked into the kitchen, not even realising he had company, he filled a glass of water. Addison looked at him. Derek sipped the drink before turning around, seeing them. "Morning Hails." He tried not to sound so tired.

''Hey daddy!''

Addison looked down at her plate.

"Morning Addison." He mumbled before walking towards the table where they were seated.

''Morning.''

He took one of the cupcakes. "What is my Bug doing up so early?" He asked with a small fake smile.

''I had a really scary dream and then mommy came and she said she maked berry cupcakes!''

"Oh yes I can see that, these are really good don't you think?"

''Mhm, but grandma's are better.''

"Oh you think so? I like Addison's better."

The little girl frowned, now both her parents were calling each other by first name.

Derek took a small bite. "I should take a shower."

''You're smelly.''

"Yes because I went for a run, didn't Addison tell you?"

''Why are you calling mommy Addieson?'' The name sounded rather weird coming from her.

"Because it's her name sweetie." And I'm rather pissed at her.

''But you never call her Addieson.''

"I do sometimes." Derek replied, eating the rest of his cupcake.

''Why?''

"Because it's her name, it's not a biggie."

''What's a biggie?''

"A big deal, which this is not."

''Derek can I speak to you?''

Derek got up from the table. "Living room?"

''Sure.''

Derek walked out of the room and into the living room. Addison followed him. Once in the room, Derek turned to look at her, raising his eyebrows.

''I'm going to leave to see my dad.''

"You're what?" He asked shocked, his eyes widening.

''I'm going to see my dad.'' She repeated calmly.

"He's in Australia. Addison. Other side of the world."

''I know where he lives Derek.''

"So you're just going to pack up your bags and go to Australia when we have troubles?"

''I'm not leaving when we have troubles, I need to see my dad and... do something, before I completely loose my mind.''

"Are you saying that living as a family with me and the twins is so horrible that you're afraid of going crazy?" He asked honestly.

''I'm saying that this situating is so horrible that I'm afraid I'm going crazy, the twins have nothing to do with this.''

"Okay then, are you taking the kids with you?"

''Do you want me to?''

"Honestly? No, I don't want them to get on a plane. But I have to go to school, so unless you're okay with me going to school, the kids spending the day with my mom and then finally coming home to me, you should take them with you." He sighed, great, now Addison was running away from him and their life together. This was not how it was supposed to be.

''My dad hasn't seen them since they were babies.''

"Oh. You want to take them with you?"

''Yeah.''

"Oh..." Derek looked down, how was he going to survive without his family? He was the family kinda guy.

''Are you okay with that?''

"I guess there's no choice." Derek replied in sad way. "How long will you be there?"

''I don't know really.''

"You really want to go there?"

''My dad you mean?''

"Yes."

''Yeah, why?''

"Nothing, I just didn't know you missed him that much." He replied awkwardly.

''I do, I miss my dad, my house, my country.''

"Oh..." But we have our house, our family and our country.

''You have your mom around all the time and you can see your dad whenever you want, I don't have that.''

"Yes I do." He nodded coldly. "So you just decide to pack up everything and go back to your family? God knows for how long? And you expect me to be okay with that. Newsflash, I'm not. I'm going to miss you, and you're also taking our kids with you, I'm not okay with that either. But sure if you want to go, go. Have fun."

''Jesus it's not like I'm leaving!''

"It feels like that Addison!"

''Why? Because just for once I'm choosing for what I want?''

"Oh fuck it! GO!" It's not like I care anymore, I don't even know if I feel anymore.

''Don't scream at me!''

"You started it!"

''Because you're acting like an ass!''

"No, I'm acting like a man that doesn't want to let you go and take my kids with you when we have things to go through."

''But this isn't getting any better like this either.''

"It isn't because we haven't talked yet, we can't even be in the same room."

''So what will staying make it better?''

"I don't know Addison, maybe it will, maybe it won't."

''I'm falling apart.''

"What?" He asked, he sure had heard her.

''I'm falling apart here.''

"Because of this situation? And because you don't have your loved ones here?"

''Because of the way things are right now and living in constant doubting.''

"Okay, so you think going to Australia will make it any better?"

''Yeah I do.''

"Why? What can Australia do?" He asked an honest question.

''It's not Australia, it's my father.''

"Okay, when are you planning on leaving?"

''I don't know. I don't wanna leave, I really don't but I feel like suffocating if I stay here.''

"Yeah well... I don't want you to leave but if you really, truly, want to leave you can, take some time off, clear your head or whatever." He sighed.

''I just...I hope that you will as well.''

"Yeah... I guess." He looked into her eyes.

''And when I come back I hope I have my husband back.''

"You will, I promise, I'm sorry Addison. I really am... I just I don't know what happened between us." Derek once again looked away. "Uhm... can I call you?" This was much like a time off for the two of them.

''Yeah I guess...we've never been apart like this before.''

"Yeah, never. I hope after this... we never have to again."

''Yeah I hope so too. I hope that this is just a rough patch like I said earlier and not that...the love is just gone. Whatever it is, it just sneaked up on us.''

"I'm sure the love isn't gone, it can't be. Every time I look at you I feel a little better, it can't be gone, at least not from my side anyway." His blue eyes pierced hers.

''I still love you, I love you with all my heart and I always will but I don't know if we are still IN love. I don't know if we still have that spark between us.''

He sighed. "We need to take some time off, maybe this Aussie thing is good, maybe it'll allow some time to think. Decide. Whether to be together or not."

''I'm dreading the leaving though, I don't wanna leave you here.''

"Yeah, well I don't want you to leave. I'll miss you a lot, you know that?"

''Will you?'' She looked into his eyes.

"Yeah, I always do." A sad smile tugged at his lips. She tried to swallow away the lump in her throat. ''God I can't believe we're actually talking about this.''

"Yeah, we shouldn't have gotten ourselves into this situation. And you know I will miss you Addison." He could see her suffering, how could he have missed all those signs.

''Yeah.'' Her voice broke, looking away as tears formed into her eyes.

"Do you want me to hold you?" He asked in a sad way, trying to hide his feelings that had began to build up during the conversation.

''I can't.'' She closed her eyes painfully, her head still turned away from him. He looked at her, blinking his eyes rapidly so that his tears wouldn't fall. "Okay then."

''Why is this happening to us?''

"I don't know Addison." His voice sounded so hurt, so small.

''I don't want this to happen, not to us.''

"I don't want this to happen either, I don't want us to be unhappy, I don't want us to... fight, scream and god knows what. I want us to be Addie and Derrie."

''Then why can't we be?''

"I don't know, I wish I would, I want things back the way they were after we got married."

''Do you think we can get back to that?''

"I hope so, if we try we could." He replied honestly.

''Well do you hope so or think so?''

He thought about it for a moment. "I think that I think so."

''That means you aren't convinced.''

"I hope that we can do this, I hope we get through this and knowing us we probably, hopefully, will. Maybe this is just a small bump on our road."

''Yeah. Maybe.''

"Yeah. I guess." He looked into her eyes. "We'll get through this, okay?"

''Promise?''

"I promise, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, right?"

''Yeah...but that isn't how it always goes.''

"Yeah I know, but we're not one of those people..."

''What if it doesn't work out in Australia?''

"I don't know Addison, I want to see this though, I don't want to make rushed decisions."

''How long do you think this should take?''

"I don't know to be honest."

''Well give me a number.''

"How long do you want to be in Australia?"

''Honestly? Right now I don't feel anything for coming back to New York.''

"Oh.." He hadn't expected her to be this honest about her thoughts.

''This isn't fair for the kids, neither to you as a father and if I'm pregnant along a few months I'm not allowed to fly back anymore.''

"Come back in two weeks. I'm going to miss you in two days, hell with it, two days is torture."

''Maybe this will all just make it worse.''

"Are you or are you not going? Anything is better than this, we can stay home and talk or go to Australia, talk to your dad, we can get a break and then hopefully we've thought about it and can talk again."

''Are you willing to go to Australia with me?''

"Do you want me to go to Australia?" Hell yes, he was willing to do that.

''I do but it doesn't seem like you do.''

"You didn't even ask me, Addison. Of course I'll go there with you if you want me to."

''Really?''

"Really. So we're going?"

''Yeah...I think so?''

"Yeah, we're going then." He nodded.

''Yeah...'' She took a step forward, hesitantly wrapping her arms around his torso. He placed his head on top of hers, his arms around her as in if he was protecting her.

''Hug me tighter.'' She whispered. He pulled her against his chest, his arms tightening around her. "Better?" He whispered back.

''Yeah.'' She nodded, closing her eyes as her arms were wrapped tightly around him.

"It'll get better." He whispered into her ear before letting his head rest on hers in a loving way.

''I don't wanna loose you.''

"You won't, never. I don't want to loose you either." He shut his eyes and just held her close.

''I love you.''

"I love you too, so much." He hugged her tighter if that was even possible.

''I need you.''

He nodded. "I need you too, like oxygen."

''We should talk to school.''

"Yeah we should." He replied, not pulling back an inch. "You wanna do that today?"

''We would have to take the kids with us then.''

"It'll be okay." He shrugged a little before loosening his grip of her.

''I should check on Hailey to see if she hasn't eaten all the cupcakes yet.''

"Yeah." Derek pulled back from the hug, dropping a little kiss on her forehead. "And sorry, now you're all sweaty too."

''That's okay, I kinda find it sexy.''

He chuckled. "Oh really? Sweaty men are sexy?"

''No you sweaty is sexy.'' She gave him a smile. He smiled back. "Well you're sexy 24 hours a day, so..."

''Oh I am not.'' She rolled her eyes.

"Oh yes you are." He placed another kiss on her forehead. "Well maybe not when you're asleep, that's just so damn cute."

''I haven't showered, done my hair, gotten dressed, put on make-up or even have brushed my teeth.''

"You look beautiful even when you're all natural." He placed a small kiss on her lips. "And you don't taste too bad either."

''I advice you to not make out with me now.''

He smiled, cupping her face in his hands. "I'm going to take a shower now, then I'll come back. I assume there will be cinnamon rolls for me once I return." Then he gently pecked her lips.

''I'll try to.''

"Thank you." He pecked her lips once more before removing his hands.

''I wish I could take a shower with you.''

He raised his eyebrows with a smile on his face. "Me too, me too..."

She gave him a smile.

"I'll see you soon okay? And we'll take a shower later if you still want to."

''Yeah, thanks. Enjoy your shower.''

"I will." He smiled softly and pecked her lips once more. "I'll be back soonish."

''Cinamon rolls will be waiting for you.'' She finally unwrapped her arms.

"Okay, did you make anything for yourself? You made mine and the twins' favourites..."

''So?''

"So, you didn't make anything for you? Your favourite?"

''No. Why should I?''

"I don't know." He shrugged before placing a small kiss on her cheek. "Anyway, time to wash off the sexy sweat."

''Hmhmmm.'' She pecked his lips.

"I love you." He mumbled against her lips.

''I love you too.''

He pulled back from her and walked out the room, backing out at first, then finally he managed to take his eyes off of her and turned on his heels, walking out. She smiled to herself and walked back into the kitchen. Hailey was sitting on the same chair, the pile of blueberry cupcakes had shrunken remarkably.

''Honey,'' Addison looked at her daughter. ''How much cupcakes have you had?''

"I don't know, I couldn't follow." She replied, sticking yet another one into her mouth that was covered in blueberry.

''That was the last.'' She took away tray and placed it on the counter. Hailey's eyes widened. "But mommyyy!"

''No you've had enough.''

"No I haven't!" She exclaimed loudly.

''Yes you have.''

"No, why are you being so mean mommy?"

''I'm not being mean.''

"You are, you took my cupcakes!"

''Those aren't YOUR cupcakes, they're for everyone.''

She pouted. "Just one more?"

''No you'll be nausea. Now get up we're going to go upstairs to get ready.''

She pouted again before getting up. "What did you and daddy talk about?"

''Mommy and daddy stuff.'' She took her daughter's hand.

"Oh. Okay." Hailey gave her hand a light squeeze as they left the room. "Why is my hand smaller than yours?"

''Because I'm older and taller then you.'' She chuckled.

"Oh... how do we grow mommy?"

''By drinking lots of milk and eating healthy food your bones grow.

"Oooh. Why do we have bones? Do lions have bones too?"

''They do, every human and animal with a skeleton does. We have bones because else our body would be like a flubber-y pudding.''

Hailey's eyes widened. "I'm made of pudding?"

''No not like that.'' Addison chuckled. ''But they give strength to your body and protection.''

"Ohh..." Hailey seemed to think about it for a moment. "Okay."

Addison picked her up as she walked up the stairs. Hailey held onto her tight as they walked into their room, Justin was still asleep in his bed. "Should we wake Jussie?"

''No just let him sleep, do you wanna play for a little while until I'm ready? Because then I'll change you and Jussie at once.''

Hailey nodded. "Do you want to play with me?"

''I can't if I'm getting ready honey.''

She sighed. "Okay then."

''I'll play with you later baby.'' She kissed the top of her daughter's head and put her down. Hailey pecked her mother's lips and let go of her finally. "I'll just play with my Barbies... alone." She added.

''Alright.'' She walked into the bathroom. Derek was in the shower, not facing her, adding some lotion on his hand. Addison watched him, opening the shower door. He turned around, looking at her with a confused look on his face. "You want to get in?"

"No. Never mind.'' She said, feeling extremely awkward as she closed the shower door. "Shit." He cursed under his breath, starting to wash his hair. She looked at the wash table for a few seconds, feeling like a complete idiot before she started brushing her teeth. He washed off the shampoo, enjoying the water hitting his skin, hoping that the water would also wash away the awkwardness. She walked out of the bathroom with her toothbrush. He carried on showering, what the hell just happened?

She sat on her bed brushing her teeth, well this was weird... He added some lotion onto his hand once again and began to wash his body, that must have been the most awkward conversation of his life. After about a minute or two she sneaked back into the bathroom, hoping he wouldn't notice her. Just then, he got out of the shower. Oh shit. He looked at her shocked before taking a towel and covering himself. She quickly turned around, spitting out the toothpaste. ''I'm sorry...''

"Uhm it's okay." He mumbled, wrapping the towel around himself. "It's not like you haven't seen it before" He mumbled under his breath.

''You were using the bathroom, I should have waited...sorry I'll go.'' She rinsed her mouth.

"It's okay, it was just a shower." He walked closer towards the door. "You're my wife, it doesn't matter..." Unless you get awkward because of it.

''Clearly it does.''

"What?" He asked confused.

''When I opened the shower you pulled back.''

"I was just confused." He shrugged. "And naked."

''Point is you seemed embarrassed.''

"I was naked, you were there fully dressed and gorgeous, of course I was."

''It seemed like you minded.''

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to seem like that."

''Okay.''

"You can use the shower now if you want to." He replied.

''Thanks.''

"Uhm, enjoy?" He walked past her, dropping a small, wet kiss on her neck. She reached her arm out, stopping him from leaving the bathroom. ''Five minutes with me?''

"Ten." He pressed a kiss on her lips. She rested her hands on each side of his face, giving him a kiss. He kissed her back, his arms wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer to him. She moved one hand lower, taking his towel off. He smiled against her lips, starting to bring her shirt higher. She kept kissing him. "Lift up." He mumbled against her lip as the shirt moved upwards. She lifted her arms up. He removed the shirt and threw it to the floor. She smiled at him, taking a quick peek at his manhood. He ignored this, starting to kiss her neck as his hands cupped her breasts. She let out a moan. ''I thought we were just going to take a shower.''

"If you want to I can stop." He mumbled, kissing her neck softly.

''I don't.'' She breathed, tilting her head to one side.

"Okay then." He grinned, running his thumbs over her nipples. She bit on her lip, closing her eyes as she leaned into his touch. He smiled at her reaction, starting to massage her breasts as he sucked on her neck lightly. She moaned lightly.

"We should move to the shower." He mumbled against her neck, massaging a bit harder now. ''Mhm.'' She moaned again, pushing down her pyjama bottoms and thong. He grinned, returning his lips to hers, starting to walk towards the shower, his hands glued to her breasts. She stepped into the shower, kissing him. He closed the shower door behind them, instantly returning his hand to her breast. She pulled him closer. He pressed her up against the wall, gently enough not to hurt her. She wrapped her legs around him. He instantly felt his erection growing against her, his tongue slipping into her mouth. She grind her hips against his, massaging his tongue. A moan passed his lips, his tongue duelling with hers heatedly. She rubbed herself against him. He turned on the shower and warm water started pouring on them as his moans became louder.

''I want you.'' She mumbled against his lips. He shifted her so that he could easily slide into her. "Oh you do?"

''Mhm.'' She nodded impatiently. He fused his lips to hers again before he slowly entered her. She let out a loud moan, her eyes falling shut as she felt him inside of her. Moans left her lips when he carefully began thrusting into her, his eyes fluttering closed.

''Derek!'' She moaned out.

"You okay?" He asked though he knew she was.

''More than okay.''

"Good." He taped his lips to hers and continued the movement as loud moans kept leaving his lips. She clenched her muscles around him. He picked up the pace, starting to move faster and deeper. ''Hmm Derek.'' She wrapped her legs tighter around him. "Addie..." He mumbled against her lips, a moan passing his lips. ''I love you.'' She felt herself getting close. "I love you more." He whispered, his other hand starting to massage her breast, his other one keeping them balanced against the wall. She leaned her head back against the wall, concentrating of the feeling of him sliding in and out of her. He moaned out her name before starting to kiss her throat, his eyes shut. ''Harder.'' He trusted faster and deeper and harder, the movement becoming more intense, his body pulsing with want. He knew he was close. Her moans grew louder and louder as she felt her body getting weaker to his touch until she couldn't take any more and moaned out his name as she came. Just a moment later he joined the moaning-parade, his moans just as loud as hers, his tone was husky as he carried on the movement till both of them were finished. She rested her head on his shoulder, her breathing still rapid as she breathed into his ear.

"Hmmm" He smiled, pressing small kisses on her neck while he was trying to catch his breath.

''That was...''

"...amazing?" He tried to finish her sentence.

''I was going to go with mind blowing but yeah.'' She was still out of breath. He chuckled a little but then gasped for breath. "It always is."

''Yeah, that's true.''

He smiled at her. "You are amazing."

''No you are.''

"Maybe we both are." He pretended to think about it.

''Mhm.'' She looked at him with him still between her legs. He pressed a kiss on her lips.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, closing her eyes as her head rested on his shoulder.

"I love you." He whispered and placed few sloppy kisses along her neck.

''I love you too.'' She smiled, her eyes still closed. He smiled widely, not willing to let her go.

''You feel good.''

"Yeah?" This made his smile only wider.

''Yeah.''

"That's good." He pressed a kiss behind her ear.

''It is.''

"I like showers." He moved his lips to hers.

''Yeah but we should get out now.''

He pouted sadly before pecking her lips. "What if I won't let you go?"

''Then we'll have 2 year olds running into the bathroom.''

"Oooh that'd be bad." He pulled out of her slowly.

''Mhm.'' She slid down to the tiled floor with wobbly legs. He held onto her. "You sure you can walk already?"

''Yeah I think so.''

"Good." He placed a kiss on her lips. She gave him a kiss back. ''Go see if Jussie is awake.''

"Okay, enjoy your shower." He smiled and got out of the shower.

''Thanks.'' She already reached for the shampoo. He smiled and reached for the towel that was laying on the floor. She soaped her hair in, watching him. He smiled and looked at her, his gaze dropping to her chest area for a moment as he wrapped the towel around his body.

''Der...?''

"Uhm yes?" His head shot up, oh fuck. She looked at him for a few seconds. ''Do you really think I'm too thin...?''

He made a small smile. "You're breathtaking, drop dead gorgeous but medically you need those few lbs. I love your body like this, and I love it even when you don't weight as much as a supermodel."

''But can you accept me weighing this, looking like this?''

"Addison look I can accept you looking like anything and I think you look amazing like this. But please, gain some weight okay?"

"I will for the baby but I don't know if I can.''

He sighed a little. "Okay."

''I just want to finally be comfortable with myself.''

"And you are like this?" He looked into her eyes, asking an honest question, hoping that her father would stick a chocolate bar into her mouth or something.

''If I'd drop one or two lbs.''

"You know you don't have to change anything in yourself for me, right?"

She looked at him and shrugged.

"Apparently you don't know that." He sighed. "Look, don't, change, anything, in you for me. Okay?"

''But I want to myself as well.''

"You shouldn't want that, I mean I haven't jogged well in since forever and my abs are probably not even half of what they used to be. The point is, don't change yourself."

''But I want to change myself.''

"You shouldn't want to lose weight Addison, you're playing with fire over here."

''Why?''

"Because you are already underweighted."

''I am not.''

"Addison, you don't realize it yourself but you are."

''I'm not and I'm going to eat normal for the baby now, I promise but afterwards it isn't going to take me two more years to finally be rid of all the baby fat.''

"Addison, please, after the baby is born, don't drop weight too fast and only the healthy amount."

''I'm 23 Derek, I don't want to have the body of a 40 year old woman who had three children.''

"You did not have the body of a 40 year old woman, for god's sake Addison that was not the case. You looked gorgeous. Just please Addison, don't take it this far once the baby is born."

''We'll see then.''

He sighed. "I'll let this go, for now, okay?" He looked into her eyes, his were still full of concern.

''Please.''

"Okay." He nodded, taking one more quick look at her body.

''Hug?''

"Hug and a kiss?" He walked closer to her.

"Yeah.'' She opened the shower door again. He stepped into the shower, the water still pouring on them, he was never going to be dry again. She closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Hmm." He pulled her body closer to his, his arms tightly around her waist. Her head was buried in his neck. He smiled, his hands moving up and down her back. She pulled him tighter against her. He breathed in her delicate scent, loving the way their bodies were pressed up together. She held him close, kissing his shoulder. He hummed at the touch of her lips on his skin, placing a gentle kiss on her neck. Her hands fingers played with the wet curly ends of his hair, savouring the feeling of his strong arms around her. "You smell like Addison." He mumbled against her skin, his hands moving once again lightly over her back.

"Hmm is that good?"

"Yeah it's the best scent in the whole wide world." He replied.

''What do I smell like then?''

"I don't know, like Addison? It's like umm some kind of a flower." He murmured against her neck, pressing few soft kisses there.

''Flower? I'm a flower?'' She chuckled, finding it incredibly sweet. Derek let a soft laugh escape. "Yep, you're a mix of roses and lilies."

''Hmm funny.''

He shrugged. "I try to, but really I love the scent."

''Hmm good.''

He smiled and pressed a kiss on her shoulder. "Now where's my kiss?"

''You have to come get it.''

"Uhuh?" He pulled back a little so that they were facing each other. She closed her eyes, kissing him. His eyes fluttered closed and he kissed her back in the same soft way. She softly nibbled on his bottom lip. He smiled a little against her lips, starting to suck on her upper lip. She tried to pull him even closer. He wrapped his arms tighter around her, his body pressed up against hers, his lips taped to hers. She kissed him lovingly. After a few moments he pulled back, pecking her lips once more.

''I love you.''

"I love you too." He smiled before unwrapping his arms. She gave him one more peck.

"I gotta check on the twins." He smiled and gave her one more kiss.

''Mhm you do.''

"Have fun showering." He got out of the shower, water dripping off of him.

''I won't without you.''

"Aww." He smiled widely, finding this cute. She gave him a smile, starting to soap up her body. He watched her for a moment or two. "Okay I think I need another towel, this one is wet."

Addison giggled. Derek chuckled. "I believe that is your fault." He took off the towel, reaching for another one.

''Hmm in what way?''

Derek grinned, taking another towel. She smirked at him, watching him. He gave her a smirk back, wrapping another towel around his waist. ''Hmmm.'' He gave her a smile, stepping into the shower to give her one more peck on the lips.

''You're gonna get wet again like that.''

He smirked and pecked her lips. "So worth it."

''Hmm maybe I'll get wet again like that.''

"Maybe you will." He grinned and placed one more kiss on her lips. "But really, I have to check on the twins."

''You do.''

He sighed before getting out of the shower and closing the door. Addison continued showering. Derek watched her for few more moments before leaving the room.

''Daddyyyyy.''

"Heyyy." Derek smiled, closing the door behind him. "How long have you been here?"

''Loooong.''

"How long?" Derek asked again with a smile on his lips.

''Long!''

"Oh yeah? Why were you here sweetie?"

''I was waiting for mommy.''

"Oh okay, what did you want from her?" Derek smiled at her.

''Play with her.''

"I can play with you sweetie"

''Did you play with mommy?''

"What do you mean sweetie?" He asked, trying to hold back his laughter.

''Did you play with mommy?''

A light chuckle left his lips. "No I didn't sweetie."

''Oh. What were you doing then?''

"Mommy and daddy took a quick shower." He placed a kiss on her hair.

''Why?''

"Because we both were dirty." minded. Dirty minded.

''Dirty?'' She looked at her father.

"Yes, daddy was sweaty and mommy wanted to take a shower too."

''Oh.''

"Yeah sweetie, just like you and Jussie take a bath together." Derek smiled.

''Yeah!''

Derek chuckled and placed a kiss on her hair. "Sweetie, let daddy get dressed and then we can play together."

''With Barbies?'' She asked hopefully.

"With Barbies honey." He smiled at her widely.

''Yay!'' She cheered just as her mother came back from the bathroom. Derek turned around. "That was quick."

''I was done already.'' She wrapped the towel around her body tighter.

"Okay." He smiled widely when Hailey attacked Addison's leg.

"Daddy will play with us too!"

''He will, wow!''

Derek grinned. "Yeah I will cupcake."

''Cupcake!'' She giggled. Derek chuckled at her. "Yes, now go to your room and choose the Barbies you want to play with, we'll follow you once we're dressed."

''Okay!'' She ran out of the room.

Derek smiled as he watched her leave before he walked towards the closet.

Addison started to towel herself dry.

"You have anything planned for today?" He asked as he started to do the same, at the same time opening the closet doors.

''Well going to school for a leave of absence and calling my dad, maybe a travel agency already.''

"Okay, sounds good." He smiled softly and tried to choose a shirt while drying himself.

''Telling your parents and the kids.'' She pulled on some underwear.

"Yeah they should probably know." He put on his boxers and jeans.

''Yeah.''

"Yeah so when will we go?" He smiled at her, pulling on a shirt.

''To Australia?''

"Yeah, to Australia"

''I don't know, you?''

"Well pretty soon, like in a week? We can take one of those quick get-away-trips."

''Yeah maybe in a week.''

"Okay then." He smiled, sitting on the bed.

She buttoned her white blouse. Derek pulled on a pair of socks and then looked at her. She zipped a black high-waist skirt over it.

"You look pretty today." He commented before getting up.

"Thanks.'' She smiled.

"Just telling the truth here." He smiled widely and walked towards the door.

''Where are you going?''

"I'm going to play with my daughter." He flashed her a smile.

''Okay.''

"Yeah, you coming with me?" He nodded towards the door.

''I'm going to do my hair and make-up.'' She slid on a pair of black heels.

"Okay" He flashed a smile. "I'll be with the kids."

''Mhm.''

He smiled again and placed a small kiss on her neck as he passed her by. She smiled at him. He smiled back at her before walking out of the room and into the children's room. Justin was awake and only wearing a diaper as he was playing with Hailey.

"Hey little guy, where did your pyjama go?" Derek chuckled at the sight, walking further into the room.

''It was too hot.''

"Oh, okay." Derek smiled widely and sat on the floor next to Hailey. "Do you want to get dressed yet?"

''Noooo.''

Derek laughed at him. "Okay then, what are we going to play?"

''Cars!''

"Oh really? Hailey too?"

''I wanna do Barbies.''

Derek chuckled. "Sure, I'll play with Ken."

''Yay!''

"Yeah, now get me my Ken." Derek ordered.

''Ask nicely!''

Derek chuckled. "Would you give me Ken, please?"

''Yes.'' She got a Ken Barbie.

"Thank you sweetie." He smiled and took the Ken from her.'

''Welcome daddy!''

Derek chuckled and placed the Ken on the floor so that it's feet were on the floor.

''What are we gonna play?''

"I don't know sweetie, maybe it's Barbie's birthday and Ken dropped by to give her a gift?"

''Yeah!''

Derek laughed. "Okay then." He started to move the Ken on the floor. "Hello Barbie." He made a manly voice.

''Hey Ken!''

Derek grinned. "Happy birthday Barbie!"

''Thank you Ken!''

"I got you a little gift for your special day." His voice was still as manly as it could.

''Yeah, where is it?''

"I hid it inside my pocket."

''Show!''

Derek chuckled and Ken held out his hand for Barbie, Derek took a small candy from his pocket and placed it on the hand. "Here you go."

''Wow!'' Hailey giggled.

"Do you like Barbie?" Derek looked at Hailey before taking the small candy from Ken's hand and unwrapping it.

''Mhm!'' She nodded. ''Can I eat it daddy?''

"You ate your breakfast didn't you?" He placed a kiss on her nose.

''Cupcakes!''

Derek chuckled and placed the candy into Hailey's mouth. "Just one."

''Yay!'' She giggled.

Derek chuckled. "You want one too Jussie?"

''Yes!'' The boy was playing with his cars.

Derek smiled and took another one, unwrapping it and giving the candy to Justin. He popped the candy into his mouth.


	16. Head masters, sick Bugs & a Daddy’s girl

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 16 – Head masters, sick Bugs and a Daddy's girl_

Few more hours of casual family life later Addison and Derek got out of the car and got the twins, both of them balancing one their hips.

''Now when mommy and daddy are talking to the headmaster you two have to behave alright?'' Addison said.

"But we always behave!" Justin said with a wide grin on his face

''Uhuh.'' Addison chuckled. Derek let out a laugh. "Just don't do anything stupid, okay?"

Hailey fell asleep in her father's arms, her head on his shoulder.

"At least this one will behave." Derek smiled and stroked Hailey's back, the little missy had been sleepy lately.

''She's asleep?''

"Yeah, she is." Derek confirmed as they carried on walking towards the big building.

''Are going to grandma today?'' Justin asked.

"We'll go drop by later today."

''Hey Jussie what do you think of visiting your other grandparents soon?'' Addison asked.

"Who?" Justin asked, looking at her mother in a weird way.

''Your other grandma and grandpa, you don't remember them anymore?''

Justin shook his head. "Why don't we visit them?"

''Because they live in Australia.''

"Oh, isn't that far?" Justin asked.

''Yeah it's on the other side of the world.''

"Wow... why are they there?"

''Because they live there, I used to live there too.''

"Oh… with kangaroos?!"

''Yeah.'' She chuckled.

"Wow! Did you ever hide into the pocket?" He asked in a whisper.

''No sweetie, you can't do that.'' She stroked his hair amused.

"Oh... why not?" He pouted, not understanding why this wasn't possible.

''Because you can't.'' They went into the building.

Derek walked few steps ahead of them, carrying the sleeping Hailey. They went into the elevator.

"Justin, do you want to push the button?" Derek asked from the 2-year-old.

''Yeah!''

"Addie would you show him the right one?" He smiled.

''Press this one sweetie.'' Addison pointed at the panel and Justin pushed the button. The elevator doors closed and it began moving. "Was that fun?" Derek asked with a grin.

"I'm a big boy!''

Derek chuckled. "Oh yes you are."

''Not in the same way as his daddy.'' Addison whispered in her husband's ear seductively. Derek shivered a little from her words. "Uhuh? Really?" He whispered back.

''Mhm.'' She kissed his ear. He bit on his lip, trying to focus on something else than what she was doing. "We'll check on that one later."

''Hmm promise?''

"Promise." He turned his head so that he was facing her and smirked. "God yes I promise."

''Good.'' She grinned, biting on her lip. He gently pecked her lips. "It will be good."

''Hmm just good?''

"Mind blowing, if you want to call it that."

''I do.''

"It'll be mind." He pecked her lips. "Blowing"

''It better be after this morning.''

"What does Mrs. Shepherd mean?" He raised his eyebrows at her.

''The shower Mr. Shepherd.''

He rolled his eyes. "Aha?"

''What?''

"Nothing." He pecked her lips. "I love you."

''I love you too.''

''Me too!'' Justin said. Derek chuckled at their son. "I love you too Jussie."

The elevator dinged and the doors opened.

"Ah, here we are." Derek stated as they all walked out of the elevator and along a long hallway. Soon they reached the destined room.

"Here we go." Derek mumbled as he pushed open the door. The headmaster was, was engrossed with his work when his door suddenly opened. "Well, hi to both of you. Not even a knock." The Headmaster pointed out for their lack of politeness Derek's cheeks flushed, god how embarrassed he was. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize."

''Sorry.'' Addison smiled at him. ''We kinda have our hands full.''

"What brings you here Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd, you even have your kids with you."

"Well we have something to ask, we were wondering if we could take a few weeks off." Derek said honestly, not going to sugar coat it. The headmaster was silent for a while. "I don't think I can allow you to go Mrs. Shepherd. You barely attend your classes." The headmaster finally replied.

''I have two children, I don't always have the time to come.''

"Mrs. Shepherd, your personal life is none of my business. When you committed yourself in this institution, you should have known the demands in this kind of school."

Derek looked at the headmaster with his eyes wide open, standing by his wife's side.

"Mrs. Shepherd, med-school isn't just about keeping the grades up and passing the exams. It's about the number of hours you put into it and showing to your professors and to the school that you are serious about this."

''I am serious about this.'' She said, shifting Justin on her hips. ''Can I sit down please?''

"Sure." The headmaster gestured for her to sit down. ''Thanks.'' She sat down on a chair opposite to him. Derek walked behind Addison's seat and took support from it as he carried on balancing Hailey on his hip, not daring to shift her in case she'd wake up.

"If you are serious about this, is your taking weeks off much more important than school?"

"Yes it is, it is much more important at the moment." Derek answered the headmaster's question. They needed this now, well she needed this and he needed her.

''Yeah we're going to see my parents.''

"Can't your parents visit you instead?" The headmaster retorted.

''No and I haven't been to my hometown in years now.''

"We're going there, so would you give us the two weeks off? Please?" Derek stroked Hailey's back.

"Two weeks off? You both are going to miss a lot of lessons." The headmaster's eyes widened.

"I don't mean to be arrogant now but I am one of your best students, I'll be okay."

The headmaster just shook his head. "Okay, okay, but if your grades go down; don't blame me because I warned you." He finally gave in.

"Thank you." Derek gave him a smile.

''Dr. House could I please talk to you in private as well?'' Addison asked.

"Sure."

Derek looked at Addison. "You want me to wait outside?" He asked softly.

''Yeah please.''

"Jussie? Will you come with daddy?" Derek moved so that he could pick up his son.

''Bye momma!'' He waved.

''Bye sweetie.'' Addison gave her son a smile. Derek walked out of the room with the twins, leaving the headmaster and Addison alone.

"Okay, Mrs. Shepherd what is this that you want to talk about?" The headmaster started.

''Okay well I'm just going to be honest here and tell you that I'm pregnant.''

"I already told you Mrs. Shepherd. It is none of my business." He explained again.

''The point why I'm telling you is that I don't know if I will be able to make it to the third year.''

The headmaster just sighed and leaned back on his chair. "So are you planning to take a break first?"

''Yeah.'' She nodded. The headmaster just shook his head feeling disappointed at one of his best student's decision. "If that is your choice Mrs. Shepherd. We hope to see you back again the following school year."

''Thank you.'' Addison gave him an appreciating smile. The headmaster stood up and reached out his hand for a handshake. She got up as well and shook his hand.

"By the way, you have beautiful kids." The headmaster smiled.

''Thank you.'' Addison smiled at him.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Derek rang the doorbell of his parents' house, it was past dinner-time so his dad would probably be home as well. Few moments later the door was opened. "Hey!" Theresa greeted them with a wide smile. "Come on in."

''Hey mom.'' Addison smiled at her mother in law.

"Hi mom." Derek smiled as well as Theresa stepped aside.

"Hi nanna!" Hailey said somewhat cheerily. Addison walking inside with Justin.

"What's new with you?" Theresa asked though they had met yesterday.

''Hmm stuff, I'll tell you.'' Addison said. Theresa smiled widely. "Okay, you want something to drink? Gabriel and I were going to take some coffee."

''Yeah coffee would be nice.'' Addison walked into the living room. ''Hey Gabriel.'' She gave him a smile.

"Hey Addie." Gabriel smiled back to her just when the rest of the group walked in. Hailey walked up to the couch, crawling on it.

"Hey sweetie, is someone a little tired today?" Gabriel asked gently, pulling the little girl closer. She didn't say anything as she curled up against her grandfather, closing her eyes.

"What's wrong with the little girl?" He asked, slightly concerned, holding his granddaughter close.

''I don't know.'' Addison said and frowned, walking over to them. Gabriel pressed a kiss on her hair. "Maybe it's the flu, many guys at the work are sick at the moment."

''Yeah I hope not.'' She placed her hand on her daughter's forehead. ''She's feeling warm though.''

"Yeah, a little maybe." Gabriel agreed, feeling sorry for his little girl.

"What's wrong with Hails?!" Justin exclaimed loudly, demanding to get down on the floor.

''I think Bug is a little sick honey.''

Justin pouted. "Is her ear hurting too? I don't want Buggie to be that sick!"

''No maybe just a little flu.''

"Oh..." Justin nodded and placed a kiss on Hailey's forehead. "I hope you feel better soon!"

Addison smiled at them. Derek walked into the kitchen with Theresa, helping her get the coffee ready.

''How are you?'' Theresa asked him.

"Fine I guess." Derek looked at her mother with a slight smile.

''How's your nose?''

"It's okay, I took a pill this morning." Again he gave her the small smile.

''Are you sure everything is okay?'' She gave him a concerned look.

"No, not everything's okay." He looked into her eyes.

''Tell me.'' She walked closer to her son.

"Seems like that everything me and Addison do is fight. One moment everything's great, the next moment it's a battle arena."

''Oh...'' Theresa was surprised.

"It's rough, really, it's tiring and... I just don't know sometimes." Derek looked at his mother.

''What do you fight about?''

"Everything, seems like the only time when we're not fighting is when we're..." He stopped.

''When you're what?''

"When we're with the kids or making love." He finished his sentence. "Look I shouldn't be talking to you about this at all."

''Why shouldn't you be?''

"You're my mother, I shouldn't be talking to you about this but... I just can't talk to anyone else."

''Exactly, I'm you're mother, if you're supposed to be talking to anyone about this it should be me.''

Derek sighed. "I don't know what to do sometimes, I love her so much but sometimes it just feels like this isn't worth fighting for anymore, I just want my wife back."

''Derek what do you mainly fight about?''

"Her weight is now one of the main subjects, and then there was the Nicole-thing..."

''Why her weight? And well, the Nicole thing, yeah.''

"She's dangerously underweighted." Derek simply replied.

''I know she is.''

"She will gain weight for the baby but she said that after the birth she will lose weight again, back to this. I won't allow it. That's the reason we fight and in the last conversation we had about it I had to give in, so that we wouldn't start yelling about it again." He rubbed his face tiredly.

''Derek I know this is hard and I agree completely that she needs to gain more weight but at the end of the day it's her body and you can't make her do anything she doesn't want to do.''

"I know it's her body but I just... it's just not right, she doesn't need to do that to herself, she looked amazing, she has always looked great. She doesn't need to weight as much as Nicole Kidman to look drop-dead-gorgeous." He replied

''Tell her that.''

"I have, I've told her that but she won't believe me."

''You have to tell her every day, all the time."

"You think that would work?" Derek asked.

''I don't know but then you'd know that at least you tried to.''

"Yeah, maybe." He looked at her with a small spark of hope in the corner of his eye.

Theresa gave him a smile. ''Anything else?''

"Not really. Thanks." He smiled softly at her.

''Okay.''

"Yeah." The coffee was ready. Theresa filled four mugs with coffee. Derek took the two of them and gave his mother a smile. "Living room or dining room?"

''What do you want?''

"I don't know, you choose."

''Living room.''

"Okay then." Derek walked out of the room and into the living room. Theresa followed her. He walked towards his wife and gave her a cup of coffee with a small, sweet peck on the lips.

''Honey?'' She looked at her husband with a smile.

"Yes?" He smiled back, giving her another quick peck.

''Why are you giving me coffee?''

"You can take one cup, it's not that dangerous." He smiled before whispering. "And you need energy for tonight."

''I'm not going to drink coffee.'' She said softly. He pecked her lips. "No coffee for Mrs. Shepherd then." He took the cup from her and placed it on the coffee table. Addison gave him a smile. Derek sat on the couch next to her, an arm moving around her shoulders from an instinct. She rested her head on his shoulder. ''I think Bug has the flu.''

"Yeah? She was feeling a little warm today. I hope Jussie won't catch it too, travelling with two sick kids isn't my favourite thing in the whole world."

''Yeah.'' She nodded. ''Maybe it's nothing.''

"I hope so." Derek took a sip of his coffee, gently rubbing Addison's arm.

''Are we gonna tell them?'' She whispered in his ear.

"We could." He replied. "What do you think?"

''Yeah we should.''

"Okay then. Do you want to break the news?" He asked, starting to brush her soft skin.

''Sure.'' Addison turned to her parents-in-law. ''So we have news...''

"Yeah?" Gabriel turned to look at Addison, placing his cup on the coffee table while Theresa did the same.

''Uhm me, Der and the kids are going to Australia for a few weeks...''

Theresa's eyes widened a little. "Australia? To see your parents I assume? Couldn't they visit you instead?" She didn't want her family to leave, but yeah she didn't have a word in this one.

''They can but I wanna go home.''

"Okay, when are you going then?" Gabriel asked.

''In a week or two.''

"Okay. That sounds fun." Theresa forced a smile on her face. "You should tell hi to your parents from us."

''I will but I have to call them up first.''

"Thanks." Theresa smiled. "So will you be there for long?"

''I don't know, I think so.''

"Oh... okay then."

''Why?''

"Nothing, I'll just miss you all so much." Theresa replied with a slight smile, looking into Addison's eyes.

''We'll be back.''

"Yeah you better." Theresa looked at her son who was happily playing with the curly ends of Addison's hair. Her head was still on his shoulder. Derek placed a quick kiss on her hair, whispering her the three big words. She whispered four back to him. Derek smiled and the focused back on the conversation they were having. "We're thinking about staying there for few weeks, seeing her parents, and how things are going there."

''Yeah.'' Addison nodded.

"Okay well that sounds like fun." Gabriel commented, taking a sip of his coffee.

''Yeah... I miss my dad.''

"Well it's been a while hasn't it? What? Two years already?" Gabriel looked at his wife for an answer. Theresa shrugged.

''It has.'' Addison answered. "When the twins were just a few weeks old they came but I haven't been home in years.''

"Yeah.... well it's good to go home every once in a while." Gabriel gave her a smile that was saying 'hang in there'.

''Yeah.'' Addison nodded again. Derek sipped his coffee, staying quiet.

"I can see a kangaroo!" Justin grinned widely as he hopped off the couch and ran towards Theresa.

''You've seen kangaroo's!'' Theresa held her arms out for her grandson.

"I wanna see more!" He jumped into her arms, his arms wrapping around her waist. "I can hide into the pocket!"

''Who told you that?''

"It was on the TV." Justin grinned proudly before his head dived under Theresa's shirt. "See?! Just play you're a kangaroo and I'm a boy! It's possible!"

''Hey!!'' She pushed him away from under her shirt. Derek began laughing at the sight, setting his cup on the table so that he wouldn't spill it.

''Jussie don't do that.'' Addison told her son.

"Yes, don't do that." Derek backed her up, stopping laughing. Gabriel tried not to laugh. Derek exchanged a look with his father. "I think I need to go outside." He was going to laugh in any moment, he was going to laugh and that would tell Justin it was okay which it was not. Addison rolled her eyes at her husband.

"I'll be right back." He masked a chuckle as a moan, dropping a kiss on Addison's hair.

''Where is daddy going?'' Justin asked.

"Daddy is going to the bathroom." Gabriel replied, looking at the confused little boy.

''Is Buggie sick?''

"Buggie might have the flu." Theresa walked towards the couch with Justin, smoothing down her shirt.

''What's the flu?''

"Why don't you ask that from your mommy, I'm sure she can explain it much better." Theresa sat on a chair near the couch.

''I wanna ask you!''

"It's a disease sweetie, it might cause fever, or cough, or something like that. It's not dangerous, Hails will be okay in few weeks."

''Weeks??''

"A week, or two, depends on what kind of the flue is." Theresa picked up the little boy and sat him on her lap.

''What kinda does she have?''

"I don't know sweetie, maybe your mommy knows."

''Nope regular I think.''

"Okay." Theresa smiled just when Derek returned.

''I'm nauseas.''

Derek looked at his wife. "Do you need to go to the toilet?"

''No, not yet.''

"You need water?" Derek asked slightly worried.

''No I'll get some tea.'' She got up.

"Okay..." He sat on Addison's place as she left the room. She walked into the kitchen. Derek looked at Justin and Theresa and then at his father. "So I see the situation is under control?"

''Mhm.'' Gabriel smirked. Derek let out a chuckle. "So how are you?"

''I'm fine.'' He nodded.

"That's good." Derek nodded as well, looking at his little daughter d up against Gabriel. Gabriel stroked the sleeping girl's back softly.

-----

In sunny Australia, Caleb Montgomery was sitting on the porch chair, looking at his land. He loved Australia, he simply loved it, everything he loved was here. Except for the most precious thing, his daughter. His cell phone began to vibrate in his pocket and he soon answered. "Allo?"

''Hey daddy it's Addi.''

"Addi! I was just thinking about you."

''You were?'' Addison smiled.

"Yeah, how is my little bunny doing?"

''I'm okay. You?''

"Good, I was planning on calling you soon."

''Yeah why?''

"I was thinking that maybe we could drop by some time soon, take some vacation."

''Oh well that was why I called you.''

"Oh, really?" A smile grew on his face.

''Yeah uhm...I was wondering if it would be okay if we would come for a few weeks...''

"Really?!" He smiled widely. "I'd love that!"

''Yeah?''

"Yes Addi, when are you coming?"

''Uhm in like a week or two?''

"Sounds absolutely perfect, you'll see the parade too." He grinned, he used to go there with Addison every year.

''Yeah.'' She smiled excitedly.

"Addi, I've missed you."

''I've missed you too daddy, a lot.''

"Yeah, so did you already get the flights?"

''No not yet I wanted to check with you first.''

"Okay, you know your always welcomed here."

''Yeah thanks, just wanted to make sure but is mom okay with it too?''

"I'm sure it's fine." Caleb looked around, he had no idea how Maria was going to react.

''Well you do know Derek and the kids are coming too right?''

"Yeah of course they are, that's completely okay with me."

''Okay, I'm glad about that and we could just rent a hotel room.''

"This is a big house Addison, you could stay here too, but if you're more comfortable with a hotel that's okay."

''I'll talk with Derek.''

"Okay honey, that's good." He smiled.

''Yeah it is.''

"I love you sugar."

''I love you daddy.''

"Bucky! Bucky! DO NOT EAT THAT THING!" Caleb suddenly exclaimed, bouncing up from the porch chair.

''What is he eating?'' Addison chuckled.

"Some bush that looks expensive." He walked towards the garden. "Bucky!"

''Go get him.''

"Oh I will." He walked towards the dog who hadn't moved an inch. "Bad Bucky, baaad!" He grabbed him from his collar.

''Aww.''

Caleb led the dog towards the porch. "He's been out of control for the past few months, I think there are little Bucky's somewhere."

''Ehh really?''

"Really." Caleb chuckled, sitting on the porch chair again, making the dog sit.

''I miss Bucky.''

"He misses you too." Caleb smiled to the phone.

''Hmm he does?''

"Yep, he told me."

''Hmm of course he did.'' She laughed.

"Yeah, he's such a good boy."

''Do you really think mom will be okay with us coming?''

"Yeah I think so, she's not the wicked witch of east... always."

''Last time she asked us to get a hotel because the babies cried at night...''

"Well, that's who she is." Caleb shrugged. "Look I bet she's fine with it."

''I hope so.''

"She is." Caleb nodded, still trying to convince himself.

''I don't quite believe you dad.''

"Oh really? I bet she's okay with it, well if you stay at the hotel." He sighed.

''I'll see if we can rent an apartment then, I can't stay that long in a hotel room with 4 people.''

"Yeah that might be a good solution for you, hotels aren't always the best option."

''I don't know if we can rent anything on this short notice though.''

"Daddy will take care of that, I'll use some contacts and you might end up having a house just few blocks away."

''I miss being home.''

Caleb made a sad expression though she couldn't see him. "I miss you around here."

''You do?''

"Yeah, you're my girl, of course I do."

''Dad...?''

"Yeah?" He asked softly.

''Derek and I...we're...we're not okay.''

"What do you mean by that sweetie?" He swallowed a lump forming in his throat, what did this man do to HIS baby??

''A month ago we were about to get divorced...''

His eyes widened. "Why? What happened?"

''That's a long, complicated story...''

"I have time sweetie, did he do something? I swear to god if he did something..."

''No, well I don't know...''

"What is it? You can tell me..."

''Just...a few months ago he ignored me for a long time.''

"What?? How could anyone ignore you?" He felt his anger rising but tried to keep his voice normal.

''He was caught up with school.''

"That is not a good reason? Did you give him the papers?"

''It wasn't that there just came this whole stupid misunderstanding.''

"What do you mean by that? What misunderstanding?"

''Some girl kissed him.''

"What?!" He couldn't hold it back anymore.

''Yeah and I thought he was cheating on me and that felt like the final straw.''

"How do you know about this? Did you catch them?! I swear to god that man is NEVER touching you again."

''He didn't really cheat on me.''

"He kissed a chick! That constitutes cheating!"

''She kissed him, not him her.''

"Are you sure about this?? Sure sure?"

''Well not completely, I wasn't there but I trust him I guess and...there's more.''

"There's more?! Oh please don't tell me that he said that the chick jumped on him and he had no choice! Addison what are you doing?"

''What do you mean with what am I doing?''

"What are you still doing with him? That guy is a cheating bastard."

''You don't know that, don't dare to say that about my husband!''

"I'm sorry Addie, you said there was more about this?" He rubbed his forehead.

''This girl, Nicole, she's pregnant now and...claiming Derek to be the father.''

"Oh dear god... are you sure Derek didn't...?"

''Yeah...''

"Okay... absolutely sure?"

''Dad...'' She sighed.

"I'm just asking, I need to be sure that you haven't been fooled here."

''I don't believe that I have.''

"Okay, well that's good. So... what are you going to do about this situation with this Nicole-girl?"

''I have no idea, sue her if she doesn't give it up I guess.''

"Yeah? That'd be wise."

''I guess.''

"Yeah... and sweetie?"

''Yeah dad?''

"Are you absolutely sure about this? I have contacts--"

''What do you mean?'' She frowned.

"Are you sure honey?" He sighed. "I've always had the feeling that BuckyBucket would be a great hit man."

''Are you telling me you wanna whack some girl?''

"Look, are you sure Derek isn't the father?"

''I want to be.''

He sighed heavily. "Well whatever happens, I hope you two can work this out." He said that only because it was supposed to be said to people in this situation.

''Do you, honestly?''

"If you think he's the right guy for you there's not much I can say about it."

''But do you think he is the right guy for me?''

"I used to think so, I can't imagine you with anyone else but him. But now... I don't know anymore."

''Why not...?''

"I don't know really, if he was the right guy, he wouldn't be doing this stuff."

''It wasn't his fault...''

"Okay then. This could be just a phase I guess."

''Yeah I hope so.''

"Are you sure you're okay sweetheart?"

''No...''

He sighed. "Have you talked to him about this?"

''A little I guess, we just have a lot of problems right now.''

"Yeah? So this isn't the only problem?"

''No.''

He sighed. "Do you want to talk to your daddy about them?"

''Not really...''

Again he let out a sigh. "But you know you can, right?"

''I do, thanks.''

"Anytime cupcake, anytime."

''I love you daddy.''

"I love you too, a lot."

''I'm sorry for not calling a lot.''

"It's okay, you've been busy, I get it."

''Yeah...what's up down there?''

He chuckled. "Nothing new, the same old."

''I see.''

"Yeah, but look I have to go now, I'll call you later okay?"

''Oh okay, bye.''

"Bye princess." He smiled to the phone before getting up. Addison put down the phone on the table.

Few minutes later Derek walked into the room, it had been his turn to tuck the kids into beds. "They're sleeping, Hailey fell asleep in my arms but Justin is still up if you want to say goodnight to him."

''Yeah sure.'' She walked past him.

"Okay." Derek walked further into the room, wondering what was going on now. She went up the stairs. He sat down on the couch, turning on the TV, hoping that there was something that would cheer him up. She went into the nursery. Justin was laying on his bed, his eyes half-closed.

''Jussie?'' She whispered.

"Momma?" He mumbled sleepily.

''Yeah.'' She sat down on his bed.

"Did you come to hug me?" He reached his arms towards Addison.

''I did.'' She hugged him.

"Yayyy." His voice sounded so powerless.

''Are you tired?'' She whispered in his ear, giving it a soft kiss. The boy shook his head as he gave a yawn. Addison smiled.

"Momma will you kiss me on the lips?" He asked as he laid down.

''Of course.'' She leaned down and gave him a kiss.

"Yayy." He smiled tiredly before letting his eyes shut. "Goodnight momma."

''Night baby, I love you.''

"I love you too." He yawned again, slowly drifting asleep. Addison gave him one more kiss before going to her daughter's bed. Hailey was asleep, holding the sheet tightly against herself. Addison softly rubbed her back, checking her temperature, she was boiling. Hailey whimpered slightly, shifting on her bed. Addison threw the covers off of her. The little girl curled up in a ball. ''Sweetie?'' Addison tried to wake her. She kept her eyes shut tightly, grabbing the sheets tighter. She nudged her carefully. ''Bug.'' She whimpered, still not waking up. ''Hailey, wake up baby.'' Slowly she stirred, her eyes were full of tears once she managed to open them. ''I'm going to take you to the hospital Bug.''

"Whyyy?" She mumbled, holding her sheet even tighter than before.

''Because you're sick honey.''

She nodded slowly. "Will they poke me with scary things?"

''They won't honey.'' She hugged her daughter.

"But what if they do?" She asked scared.

''I promise they won't, mommy is gonna stay with you.''

"Really?" She pulled back a little.

''Really, I promise.''

"Okay... will daddy be there too?" She asked innocently.

''Daddy has to stay here with Jussie.''

"Oh.... but will you hold my hand?"

''The entire time.''

She nodded slowly before asking quietly. "Will I be okay?"

''Of course baby, we're just gonna check okay?''

"Okay..." She still looked like a Bambi that was left all alone in the forest.

''Do you wanna take a blanket and a stuffed animal with you?''

She nodded slowly. "Yeah.."

''Are you cold or warm right now?''

"Cold..." She replied, wrapping her arms around herself. Addison picked up the fluffy blanket from her daughter's bed and wrapped it around her little body, grabbing a stuffed animal before picking her daughter up. Hailey's hand gripped onto her mother's shirt as she tried to move closer to her, shivers running through her body. She rubbed her back, hating to see her little girl like this as she went downstairs. Derek was still sitting in the living room, watching Conan O'Brian doing god knows what.

''Hey babe?''

"Yeah?" Derek turned to look at them, seeing her carrying Hailey. "What's wrong?" He looked at them concerned.

''I'm gonna go to the hospital with her, her temperature is really high.''

"She wasn't when I put her into bed, this is fast."

''Yeah so I'm gonna let them check on her because this is worrying me.''

"Yeah that's probably for the best, will you call me if anything changes?"

''I will.'' She pecked her husband's lips. He pecked her back softly. "Bye Buggie." The little girl waved, all the energy drained out of her. Addison held her close as she picked up the car keys, leaving the house. Hailey leaned her head against Addison's chest, listening to her heartbeat. Addison laid her in the car. Hailey hugged her stuffed animal close, whispering something in it's ear. Addison strapped her in and got into the car herself. Hailey's eyes fluttered closed and she loosened her grip of her toy. She started driving towards the hospital.

About five minutes later they were at the hospital parking lot. She parked the car and got Hailey out, locking it. Hailey's arms wrapped around her mother's neck weakly, pressing the toy between their bodies. Addison quickly made their way into the hospital, walking towards the counter.

"How may I help you?" A woman asked, at the same time writing a note.

''My daughter is really sick.''

The woman looked at her, handing her a form. "Here, fill this, bring it back and we'll see what we can do."

''Okay, thanks.'' Addison accepted the form and took place on a chair with her daughter in her arms.

"Coldddd." Hailey whined, wrapping the blanket tighter around herself.

''You're going to be okay baby.'' Addison whispered, hugging her closer as she filled in the form. Hailey tugged at her mother's shirt, mumbling something about cold.

''What is it baby?''

"Cold..." She mumbled again.

''Wrap you blanket closer and snuggle up to me.''

She did as told, her little body pressed up against her mother.

''Better?''

She nodded eagerly. "Your boobs are warm."

''Are they?'' Addison chuckled lightly. She nodded again. "Yeah they are"

''Hmm that's good.''

She placed a kiss on the other boob. "I hope my head will feel better."

''Your head hurts?''

She nodded a little. "Yes."

''In what way?''

"Boom boom bang bang" The little girl replied.

''What else hurts?''

"My foot, Jussie stepped on it."

''When?''

"Earlier... he didn't mean it."

''Does your tummy hurt the most?''

"Tummy too."

''Okay.'' She finished with the form, getting up with Hailey. Hailey held on tight again, her head resting against Addison's 'warm boobs'.

''Hey I'm done with the form.''

"Okay, thank you." She took it and placed it in a holder. "We'll get someone on this case as soon as we can."

''Yeah please.'' Addison gave her a small smile. She smiled back before starting to write again. Addison went to sit back on the chair. Hailey hugged her mother close to her.

''Do you wanna talk sweetie or do you wanna sleep a little bit?''

"I don't know..." She whispered, her eyes having hard time staying open.

''Sleep a little, then you won't feel anything.''

"Oh... promise?"

''I promise. You'll feel better soon Bug.''

She nodded her head slowly. "I love..." She didn't finish her sentence, her sleepiness took over and Addison was right, she didn't feel a thing. ''I love you too Pretty.'' Addison whispered, seeing her little chest rise and fall slowly as her breathing got deeper.


	17. Crazy doctors, Porn talk & Embarrassment

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 17 – Crazy doctors, Porn talk and Embarrassment_

Not more than thirty minutes later a cheery woman in her 40's called their name.

''That's us.'' Addison said and got up, cradling a curled up, still sleeping Hailey against her chest.

"Ahh hello! I'm Dr. Sydney Heron!" She greeted with a wide smile.

''Addison Shepherd.''

"Nice to meet you." The doctor shook her free hand. "Follow me please."

Addison nodded and followed her. She led them into an exam room. "Ahh so I assume this is the little girl?" She baby talked once Hailey began to stir.

''Yeah this is Hailey.'' She stroked her daughter's cheek.

"Hi..." Hailey said sleepily. "My mommy's boobs are warm."

''Oh god.'' Addison closed her eyes. ''Sorry.''

Sydney let out a laugh. "It's okay, you know what sweetie? I liked my mommy's breasts once too, oh yes I did."

Addison frowned her eyebrows, oookaaaaay.... She straightened her back once she earned a grin from Hailey. "So you said she was feverish?"

''Yeah she's really warm but she's shivering and says she feels cold and her head and tummy hurt.''

"Poor baby." Sydney held out her arms for the baby. "Let's check what it is."

''Yeah.'' She nodded.

Hailey reached her hands towards this weird woman who quickly laid her down an exam table. Addison held her daughter's hand. "Momma I feel hot." She mumbled, bringing Addison's finger into her mouth as Sydney began to examine her. "Take off your blanket sweetie." Hailey gently removed her blanket, hugging the stuffed animal closer when Sydney carried on examining her. Addison held her hand. Few minutes later Sydney gave Addison a thermometer. "Would you check the temperature, I'm sure this little honey bunny would like her mommy to do it, wouldn't you? Oh yes you would."

Addison gritted her teeth together and took Hailey's temperature.

"What is it?" Sydney asked few moments later, carrying on doing what she was doing with a bright smile on her face.

''Nothing.'' Addison made a fake smile and rolled her eyes.

"Okay." Sydney gently examined the baby's stomach and some time later the thermometer beeped. Addison gave the thermometer to the doctor.

"Ahh, poor baby." Sydney looked at the temperature. "I saw few cases like this last week, they all passed by in few days."

''Is it the flu?''

"Yeah." The doctor nodded. "Is your tummy still hurting?" She asked from the little girl. She nodded shyly.

"Aww, it should pass by soon little girl."

''When?'' She asked quietly.

"In a hours, minutes, maybe even now, depending on when it started." He gave her a small smile.

''Then I think we know enough.'' Addison gave her a smile.

"Yeah, this should pass by in few days, you should come back if she can't shake it off."

''I will, thank you.''

"Good, it's my job." Sydney smiled broadly.

''Bye.''

"Bye." Sydney leaned against the exam table when the two of them left the room.

''Are you cold or warm honey?"

"I'm okay." She made a brave smile, snuggling closer to her mother.

''Good girl.''

Hailey batted her eyelashes. "Do you think my tummy will be better?"

''I know it will.'' Addison walked out of the hospital.

"Yeah?" She whispered, her eyes fluttering closed once again.

''Hopefully soon.''

"Okay..." She let her eyes fall shut and her thoughts drift away. Addison took them home.

They walked up the stairs and into the bedroom, Hailey's eyes still shut tightly, sleeping against her mother's chest. Addison laid the little girl in her warm bed. She immediately pulled the little blanket over herself and carried on sleeping, a slight smile playing on her lips as she began dreaming about candies and bunnies. Addison gave her a kiss and whispered something before going downstairs. Derek was still sitting on the couch, a half-eaten bag of popcorns next to him, reading a big, heavy medical book, just when the TV-program changed and a warning about mature content of the show appeared on the TV-screen.

''My, my, my Mr. Shepherd.'' Addison shook her head.

"What?" His head shot up from the book, looking up to his wife.

''Porn?'' She plopped down next to him on the couch. Derek looked at the screen. "Oh." He tilted his head to the side, watching. "Ouch, doesn't that hurt?"

''I have no clue.'' Addison laughed, resting her head against his shoulder. Derek let out a laugh, reaching for the remote as he pressed a tiny kiss on the top of her head.

''Just admit it, you were watching porn when I was gone.''

"Nope, I was not, I was reading." He placed another kiss on her hair, turning off the TV.

''Of course.'' She chuckled. He smiled at her, gently pulling her closer, his arm moving around her shoulders, drawing little circles on it. "Yep."

''So you're saying you don't watch porn?'' She snuggled up against him.

"I don't need to, you look much better than those chicks with fake boobs and whatever."

''Every guy watches porn.''

"Fine but not often though." He rolled his eyes, placing another kiss on her head.

''How much?''

"Like I said, not much, almost never, only when I'm not getting any." He did not want to discuss about porn with his wife.

''C'mon I wanna know.''

"Uhuh?" Derek raised his eyebrows at her.

''How often?''

"Not often really, really not often." He replied, bringing up her chin so that he was looking into her eyes.

''Hmm what porn do you watch then?''

"Something from the laptop, why do you want to know Addie?"

''Just curious, tell.''

"Addie, seriously?" He raised his eyebrows again, why was he talking about porn with his wife?

''Seriously!'' She laughed.

He let out a small laugh. "Fine, they're NOT those creepy ones with stories, though Mark tried to give me one called Sexwars." He made a face.

''What? Sexwars?!'' She laughed hard. He started laughing as well, somehow managing to talk. "Mark said it was good! I knew he was twisted but... Sexwars?!"

''What do you watch then?''

"Nothing like that! Ew! Mine are like.... more normal. I don't know." He shrugged.

''Well like what??''

"Addie c'mon you don't want to know about porn your husband watches."

''I do.''

He rolled his eyes. "It's not that bad, something like... umm... they might happen in a hospital or something." He shrugged.

''A hospital?'' Her eyes widened. He rolled his eyes. "Some of them."

''Explain what kinda.''

"No I'm not explaining you porn Addie, no way." He looked at her shocked.

''So you want me to check the laptop?'' She raised her eyebrow.

"Oh don't you dare." He held her tighter against himself.

''Oh I dare, trust me.''

"Oh no Addie, nuh uh." He shook his head at her, his grip of her only tightening.

''Seriously I will check it if you won't tell me.''

"I won't tell you and you won't check." He looked at her, oh. Dear. God.

''Is it that bad?''

"Noo it's just, women do not watch porn. Addison does not watch porn, doesn't read or write porn. Seriously. So I don't want you to have to do that, or hear about that."

''How would you know?''

He rolled his eyes. "Because you're Addison, my Addie, sweet little innocent Addie."

Addison rolled her eyes at him. ''Are you kidding me?''

"A little but really? Are you telling me you want to watch porn?"

''Well you're treating me like a little kid.''

"You're my wife Addison." He didn't know why he said this. "Simple. Women do not watch porn."

''That's such a lie.''

"What? So now you want to watch porn?"

''Maybe I do.''

He looked into her eyes. "Ha, not even funny."

''I wasn't trying to be.''

"Oh really? You want to watch porn?"

''Perhaps I do.''

"Perhaps?" He raised his eyebrows.

''Yes, perhaps. I'm just curious to know what you watch okay?'''

"Seriously Addison? You're my wife, usually they do not want to know about this stuff." He softly began to brush her back.

''But I do and you're acting all secretive.''

"Because we're 23 and my wife wants to watch porn. Look I'm a guy, I do watch porn sometimes but it's nothing like Sexwars or Pornstein. Seriously. Ew."

''I just want to know what kinda porn!''

"Fine, some of them have nurses, doctors, some happen on teacher's desk, two teachers get together. Seriously, it could be worse."

''So you're talking about themed porn here, with uniforms and all?''

He rolled his eyes. "Some of them do have costumes. Seriously Addison, could be worse. Now the discussion is over. How did it go at the hospital?" He tried to change the subject, desperately.

''And is this just all a guy and a girl or something else?''

His eyes widened. "Are you seriously asking that?"

''Do I look like I'm not?''

"Guy and a girl. And yeah maybe one with two girls but that's it."

''So no crazy orgy stuff?''

"No crazy orgy stuff, promise." He carried on brushing her back, slightly surprised that she hadn't pulled back from him.

''Why didn't you ever tell me this?''

"Because I didn't want to, I couldn't tell my beautiful sexy gorgeous leggy tall wife that I watch porn."

''That's better than hiding it from me.''

"What? So you would have jumped into a nurse-costume? Look I didn't want you to know because I was afraid you'd hurt your feelings."

''You wouldn't hurt my feelings if you would have just been honest and let me know what you're watching.''

He looked at her. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you Addison, but I just couldn't, it would have been quite hard to bring up during a chat. I'm sorry for that okay?"

''Okay but you're still trying to change the subject.''

"Fine, so you want to talk about porn?"

''As weird as that sounds, yes.''

"Okay then, how do we do this?"

''I don't know.'' She shrugged, looking up at him.

"Well me neither..." He shrugged, letting out a small sigh.

''What turns you on to watch?''

"That sounded weird from you, umm I don't know, I like long legs... and then I like it when they do it on the table." He shrugged.

''In what way?''

He rolled his eyes, this was... weird. "Woman on top, usually. I don't know, these are hard questions."

''If they are then just tell something about it.''

"Look Addie, I just can't talk about it. Really."

''But why not?'' She asked disappointed.

"Okay, let's make a deal, I won't have to talk about it, and you can just watch it if you want to. I can't tell you this stuff." He was going to regret this but the words slipped off his tongue before he knew it.

''So you're telling me to watch your porn?''

"I'm not going to talk about it and you said that you maybe wanted to watch. So there. Happy?"

''I'm your wife, your supposed to talk to me about sex!''

"Shh, honey I just can't do it without this sounding weird, sure I could talk to you about sex if it was about us. But this... I don't know how to talk about it."

''How is sex weird? We NEVER talk about it, never.''

"We don't talk about sex, I know. And this is porn Addie, I just don't want to make you feel bad, it's just porn, I don't care for it." He looked into her eyes.

''It just bugs me that we can't talk about everything like other couples do.''

"I'm sorry, look. We can start talking about this kind of stuff if you want to, I just didn't know you actually wanted to talk about sex and stuff like that." He said honestly.

''Well I do and I think we should.''

"Okay then." He gave her a small smile. She gave him one back and laid her head in his lap. He softly started to brush her hair, enjoying the closeness. "I love you." He whispered.

''I love you too, so much.''

He smiled and made a sound with his lips. "Give me a kiss."

She leaned up and gave him a kiss. He smiled at her, softly kissing her back before he let her go. She smiled at him.

"How did things go at the hospital?" He asked softly, his voice was a bit concerned.

''Okay, it should be over soon.''

"That's good, I feel sorry for Bug." He began to brush her cheek lovingly.

''Yeah me too, I didn't even notice...''

"Look it wasn't anyone's fault, I didn't notice it either. It doesn't make you a bad mother."

''Still...''

"You aren't a bad mother, your the best mommy in the whole world. This thing progressed fast, you didn't know, I didn't know. It's no one's fault."

''Do you think we give them too less attention?''

Derek looked at her slightly shocked. "I don't think so sweetie, we're with them almost the whole day."

''Yeah...''

Derek nodded. "You have nothing to worry about, I promise."

''You're probably right.''

He nodded. "I know so."

''I talked to my dad by the way.''

"Yeah? How is he?" Derek had always liked this man.

''He's good I guess but looks like we have to rent something there...''

"Yeah that'd be a good option, it'd be hard to stay at a hotel and your mother is...." He stopped. She looked at him, waiting for him to continue. "...your mother is what she is." He softly brushed her cheek. "You know what she can be like."

''I lived with her for 16 years so yeah, I do know what she can be like.''

He placed a kiss on her forehead. "Look, we can rent an apartment and we'll have some privacy too, the kids can have their own room and so can we. We can spend time just the four of us if we need to."

''Yeah, I just miss my old house I guess.''

"You can go there if you want to, spend few nights in your room. It's up to you." He made a small smile.

''I can't sleep without you, you know that.''

He pressed a light kiss on her lips. "I'm sorry, but you can decide, It's your decision."

''Yeah I know.''

He placed another kiss on her lips. "I know you miss your home, I can sleep with you there if you want to. We'd just need to talk to your dad, and your mother."

''I mean, it's so ridiculous, she wanted to kick us out because the twins were crying.''

"Yeah, that was mean from her. I just... twins are older now and they sleep through nights. Maybe she'd just let it be."

"Yeah…"

"I hope so..."

''Yeah me too.''

"I love you..." He kissed her on the lips softly.

''I love you too.'' She gave him a kiss, her hand resting on his chest.

"You wanna go to bed?" He held her close to him, his lips taping to hers once again.

''Depends on what we're gonna do there.'' She mumbled.

"Whatever you want, we can do anything you want." He carried on kissing her.

''Hmm like?''

"Like anything you want." He shifted her so that she was sitting on his lap, facing him.

''Anything?'' She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Anything." He whispered and brought his hands to rest on her hips.

She moved her body up against him. He bit on his lip, his arms wrapping around her waist slowly. She grabbed his hands and placed them on her butt. He smirked, giving it a light squeeze. "Where?"

''Where what?''

"Where do you want to go?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

''Nowhere.''

He grinned at her, bringing her closer. She took off his shirt. He let his hands move off of her butt, starting to bring up her shirt. She ran her fingers over his bare chest. He removed her shirt, looking into her eyes, seeing a glimpse of lust in them. She wrapped her arms around him, kissing him. A small moan left his lips and he began to move hands on her back, over those certain sensitive spots. She moaned, feeling her body wriggle. He placed his lips on her neck, softly sucking on the delicate skin.

''Derek.'' She breathed out softly. He smiled at her response, playing with her bra, opening only one of the two accolades. She pushed her bra clad breasts against his chest. "Hmm." He moaned against her skin, after a few moments opening the second accolade as well. She ran her fingers through his curls. Another moan made it's way up his throat as the bra straps slid off her shoulders. She moaned out his name again, pushing her chest against his face as she unbuttoned his pants. He kissed the valley between her breasts before taking as much of her other breast into his mouth as he could, sucking and licking while his hands worked on the zipper of her skirt. ''Oh god.'' She moaned out in pleasure, pushing his pants down. He shifted her a little so that he could take off the skirt, pushing it off her hips as fast as he could while his mouth attacked her other breast. She pushed herself against him, rubbing her hand over his groin. He could feel his erection growing against her hand and it became almost impossible for him to think, well that was before the front door was opened. Silently.

Neither of them heard anything and Addison kept grinding her hips against his, kissing him fervently. He began to push down the thong she was wearing, both of their bodies pulsing with want and desire. ''I want you.'' She moaned against his lips. "I need you." He mumbled softly against hers, throwing away her thong. In a blink of an eye Theresa and Gabriel Shepherd stepped into the living room. Addison pushed down his boxers, not seeing them. He pulled her closer to him, holding her hips still so that she could sink down on him. She moved up her hips, sinking down on his with a loud moan. He moaned as well, throwing back his head.

''Oh dear god!'' Theresa yelled, stopping in her tracks. He moaned as well, throwing back his head.

"Oh my..." Gabriel froze, looking at the sight with a shocked expression.

Addison turned around shocked. Derek's eyes opened, his lips moved but there were no words.

''Please tell me this isn't happening...'' Addison said quietly.

"Oh my god..." Derek stared at his parents, this was not happening. It was all his imagination, right?

''Uhm...should we go home?'' Theresa had her head turned away. Gabriel was looking up to the ceiling, trying hard to block out that image, these two seemed to be always getting in some sorts of troubles. First the wall and now the couch, seriously?

''Uhm...you could just wait in the kitchen until we're uhm...dressed.''

Derek's head dropped to Addison's shoulder, mumbling something about doorbells under his breath. Gabriel shook his head and walked into the kitchen, still with the same shocked expression. Theresa followed him before Addison quickly got off of her husband and got dressed. ''I don't believe this.''

"This is not happening, right?" He got up as well, pulling on his boxers as quickly as he could, trying to think about something horrible.

''Oh fuck.'' She rubbed her forehead.

"Fucking freaking fuck..." He mumbled, getting dressed, trying to zip his jeans desperately.

''They saw me naked!'' She tried not to cry, she felt so embarrassed. He looked at her, seeing the panic in her eyes. "It'll be okay, I'm sure they didn't see everything." He finally managed to put on his jeans, though the bulge in his pants was obvious.

''I'm so ashamed.'' She sat down on the couch, already dressed. He walked closer to her, pulling on his shirt and sitting down next to her. "Yeah... I know the feeling."

She took his hand in both of hers.

"God... couldn't they ring the doorbell or something?"

''You can come in now.'' Addison said. Few moments later Theresa and Gabriel walked into the room, Derek's cheeks instantly flushed. Addison took a deep breath.

"Uhm... yeah so..." Theresa started.

''I'm really sorry.'' Addison apologized.

"Yeah... me too." Derek looked down, avoiding his father's gaze.

''We should have at least knocked first, we didn't want to wake up the kids.''

"Yeah, so it is partly our fault." Theresa admitted, looking at the couple in front of them.

''I'm still sorry.''

"Well yeah this is not what we were expecting... we came to pick up my cell phone, I left it here the last time."

''Oh, where? I haven't seen it.''

"Uhm... couch. Under one of the pillows."

Addison looked behind her behind the pillows. Derek began to search as well, luckily at this point his pants seemed about the right size.

''Uhm found it.'' She handed out the phone to her mother-in-law.

"Thanks." She accepted it, wiping the screen like it was dirty because of Addison's touch, or the sex on the couch, either one. She didn't even realize that she did it, it was subconscious.

''I'm not infectious.''

"What?" Theresa looked at her, raising her eyebrows.

''You were wiping your phone like I have some kind of disease.''

Derek looked between the two women, giving Addison's hand a light squeeze.

"Oh. I didn't realize that." Theresa furrowed her eyebrows together.

''Yeah...''

"Sorry, I guess it was subconscious." Theresa shrugged, sticking the phone into her pocket, slightly ashamed of herself. Addison uncrossed and then crossed her legs again.

"We should probably leave." Theresa looked at Gabriel, making Derek let out a small, quiet sigh of relief.

''Why?''

"We were clearly interrupting something here and it's already pretty late."

''Ah okay then.''

"So umm... see you." Theresa gave them a small smile.

"Bye." Derek replied, not really lifting his gaze from his and Addison's joint hands.

''I'll let you out.'' She got up.

"Thanks." Theresa made another smile, starting to walk out of the room. Addison walked towards the door as Gabriel got up as well. Theresa walked close to her husband, giving their son one more small smile which he politely returned. Addison opened the front door. Theresa stepped out of the house, starting to walk towards the car. "Say hi to the twins from grandma."

''I will. Bye.''

"Bye." They walked back to their car, got in and drove away.

Addison closed the door and sighed. Derek walked into the hallway, a sad smile on his lips. "Maybe we should try to get some sleep."

''Yeah.'' She took his hand. He gave it a light squeeze, before linking their fingers together, pressing a small kiss on her cheek. She went upstairs with him. ''Will you please check on Hails?''

"Yeah, I'll be right back." He let go of her hand, walking into the twins' bedroom.

''Mommy?'' Hailey asked scared as she heard someone walking into the semi-dark room.

"No, it's daddy." Derek whispered back to his little girl, walking towards her bed. "How are you doing bug?"

''I'm scared daddy.''

"Scared of what?" He tried the bed in order to find out the girl's location. Soon he sat down on the edge of the bed.

''I feel sick.'' She started to cry.

"Aww sweetie." Derek laid down on the bed, lying on his side, right next to his Buggie Bug. "Are you hurting?"

''Yeah.'' She sobbed. Derek pulled his little girl close to him, against his strong chest, hating to see her suffer. She clung onto her daddy.

"Shh... It'll be okay... how long have you been in pain now?" He brushed her back.

''Since today.''

"It hasn't stopped?" He asked worried, placing kisses on her hair.

''No.'' She held him tighter.

"I'm so sorry baby bunny..." He pulled the little girl even closer, getting up from the bed with her in his arms.

''Daddy where are you going? I'm not going to the hospital again right??'' She asked afraid.

"No, we're not going to the hospital." He whispered softly, starting to walk out of the room with his little girl. "Buggie is sleeping with mommy and daddy today."

''Really?'' She asked with still teary eyes, she loved sleeping in her mommy's and daddy's bed.

"Really." He placed a kiss on her forehead, quietly walking towards the master bedroom, wiping away her tears. Addison who was already in bed looked up at them.

"Buggie is hurting." He replied softly, brushing Hailey's hair in a slow motion. Addison held her arms out. Hailey was soon in her mother's arms, hugging her tightly as the tears fell down her cheeks.

''Shh sweetheart.'' Addison rubbed her back.

"My tummy is hurting." The little girl whispered when her father began to change to pyjamas.

''I know baby, I know.'' She started rubbing her little tummy. Derek changed quickly, crawling onto the bed, next to his wife and daughter. Hailey looked at her parents, her eyes still full of tears. "Will I be okay?"

''Of course, you heard what the doctor said.'' Addison said softly.

"What if the crazy lady is wrong?" She asked, swallowing hard.

''She's not wrong, you've just got a little flu.''

"A little?" She cried out, her world was spinning, she didn't know which way was up and which was down, the pain had only got worse.

''It will end honey.'' She hugged her baby. Hailey nodded and pressed her head against Addison's chest, against her warm boobs.

''Now what is it with my boobs?'' She chuckled.

"They're warm." Hailey mumbled against her breast.

"Both of our babies have a thing for your boobs." And me, Derek added in his mind.

''What does Justin have with them?''

"He thinks they're big." Derek chuckled, draping an arm around his girls.

''What?'' Addison's head shot up.

"Yeah." Derek looked at his wife.

''What did he say??''

"Sweetie, calm down. He said that mommy has boobs, big boobies."

She rolled her eyes. ''God.''

Derek chuckled, pecking her lips. "Uhuh."

''Why would he say that?''

"I don't know, maybe because it's true?" He shrugged.

''I do not have big boobies.''

"Honey, honestly, you do." Derek looked into Addison's eyes.

''I don't!''

"I think so." He shrugged again.

''You don't even know what cup I have.''

"I don't have to, I get to see them often, they're big." He gently brushed her side. She rolled her eyes. ''I have normal sized breasts.'' She rubbed her daughter's back who was now asleep.

"But still I think they're pretty, and big, pretty big." He blinked his eyes at her, giving her a small peck on the lips.

''Then you've never seen any other.''

He rolled his eyes, pecking her lips again. "You have pretty boobs. End of story."

''Whatever I can't believe we're discussing my boobs.''

"You told me we should talk about stuff and I assume your boobs are stuff." A smile played on his lips.

''My boobs don't belong in that category.''

"Fine." He pouted, moving closer her, his body as close to hers as possible, hugging her close to him.

''Was Justin still asleep?''

"Yeah." Derek nodded, placing kisses on her shoulder.

''Good. We still didn't have S-E-X by the way.''

"I know, sucks." He screwed up his face.

''Yeah it really does.''

"You still want to?" He asked softly, hoping that someway it was possible.

''I would if my two year old sick daughter wasn't asleep between my boobs.''

"Yeah, point well noticed." He made a sad smile, placing a kiss on her lips. "Tomorrow."

''Definitely.'' She cuddled against him.

"Good, then we'll lock every possible door we can find." He mumbled against her neck.

''If Bug is feeling any better.'' She closed her eyes.

"Yeah, I hope she gets well soon." He let his eyes fall shut.

''Me too. Sweet dreams baby.''

"Sweet dreams my Love." He pressed few kisses on her hair.

''I love you so much.''

"Te amo mas de lo que puedas imaginarte." He mumbled in Spanish, listening to her breathing.

''What does that mean?'' She turned her head to the side.

"I love you more than you can ever imagine." He pressed a soft kiss on her lips, meaning every single word he just said. She smiled softly, giving him a kiss back. He leaned his forehead against hers, letting his eyes close again.

''Sweet dreams.''

"Yeah, marshmallows and bunnies." He mumbled. She chuckled, stroking his cheek with Hailey between them. A smile tugged at his lips and he placed a kiss on her fingertip when it was close enough. "You too sweetie."

''Thanks.'' She gave him a kiss and closed her eyes again.

"Anytime." He whispered, letting his fingers draw on her skin, gently brushing the skin. "Honey?"

''Yeah?''

"You looked beautiful today." He said sleepily.

''What?'' She opened her eyes smiling.

"You looked beautiful, still do." He repeated though he knew she had heard her.

''Thank you.'' She smiled to herself.

He smiled widely. "Anytime, anytime."

''Night babe.''

"Night Mrs. Shepherd." He loved the fact that they never said goodnight just once, it was always multiple times, someone said something and they talked for a while and then few moments later they said night again. She gave him one more kiss. He pecked her lips back, few minutes later drifting off to the dream world, to marshmallows and bunnies like he had said. She soon followed him.


	18. Happy, Hat, Giggle, Bubblegum or Rainbow

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 18 – Happy, Hat, Giggle, Bubblegum or Rainbow _

About half past ten Hailey poked her mother between the ribs, the pain had gone down a bit but now she was hungry. Addison started to stir. She poked her again. "Mommy, Hailey's hungry." She said.

''What?'' Addison asked groggily, opening her eyes.

"Hailey's hunggggggry." She repeated with a roll of her eyes.

''Hmm.'' She rubbed her face, seeing that Justin was also in their bed. Derek had captured the little boy in his arms and was now hugging him tightly against his chest. Addison sat up straight in bed. Hailey wrapped her arms around Addison's middle, dropping a kiss on her stomach.

''Was that a kiss for the baby?'' She smiled.

"And for being my mommy." She answered sincerely.

''What do you mean sweetie?'' Addison stroked the little girl's hair.

"You took away the hurt." She mumbled.

''I did?'' She smiled. Hailey nodded eagerly, feeling much better.

''So are you feeling better Bug?''

"Yeah." She nodded eagerly, dropping another kiss on her mother's stomach, this one was entirely for the baby. "I think Happy wants to play with me when she comes out."

''Happy?'' Addison chuckled. She nodded again, eagerly. "Yes, it's a pretty name."

Addison smiled at her. ''It can be a boy honey.''

"No, it can't! Or if it is it's called Hat!"

''No.'' She chuckled again.

"No?" She asked disappointed, batting her eyelashes.

''No sweetie.''

"No?" She pouted her lips. "What about..... Je.... Jeremy? Oh oh! Giggle! He can be Giggle!"

''That's not a real name honey, but Jeremy is.''

"What do you mean it's not a name??" Hailey's jaw dropped.

''Giggle isn't a name.''

"It's not?" Hailey looked shocked.

''Nope.'' Addison smirked a little at her daughter's face.

"Oh... what about.... bubblegum?!"

''Those are things honey, not names.''

"Oh... why couldn't I be Hailey Happy Giggle Shepherd Instead of some boring Hailey Milla Shepherd?!"

''Don't you like your name then?''

She shook her head. "Rainbow Happy Giggle Shepherd!"

Addison couldn't help but laugh. Hailey looked at her and then pursed her lips together. "Mommy I'm hungry." She stated and turned on her heels, walking out of the room.

''Where are you going?'' Addison called after her little girl.

"Kitchen!" She replied. "Make food!"

''You can't make your own food.'' Addison went into the kitchen after her daughter. Hailey reached for the handle of the fridge, trying to open it, raising on her toes.

''Hailey!''

"Yes mommy?" She asked in the sweetest voice ever, opening the fridge somewhat carefully.

''Don't open the fridge.''

"Why?" Her eyes widened. "DO POLARBEARS REALLY LIVE THERE?!"

''No.'' She rolled her eyes, opening the fridge for her daughter.

"Oh... but it's cold." The little girl shivered.

''Not as cold as on the north pole. What do you want to eat?''

"Bread. With cheese." She grinned.

''Alright.'' Addison made a sandwich with cheese along with some for herself. Hailey grinned and her little arms reached for her sandwich.

''Don't crumble please.''

"No crumbles this time, promise." She took a big bite.

''Alright then.'' Addison sat down at the table and started to eat. Hailey climbed onto her seat, starting to eat. "Where do polar bears live? Jenny said they live in Finland." She mumbled with her mouth full.

''No they live on the North Pole.''

"Ooh, why? Jenny said Santa is from Sweden, why does he talk English then? Does every Sweed talk English? Why? When do they learn it?"

''Now those are a lot of big questions for a little girl like you.''

She batted her eyelashes. "I'm not little, I'm almost three." She stuck out three fingers like Addison had taught them.

''You are, very good!''

She grinned. "Why doesn't Santa live in Hawaii? It's nice and warm there. Jenny told me she went there, it was hot, she said it was fun. Can we go to Hawaii too?"

''Hawaii is really far honey and we're going to Australia remember?''

"Oooh, but does Santa go there on a holiday? Where's Sweden?"

''Sweden is in Europe. And who is this Jenny? I've never heard of her before.''

"I met her in the park once, she's four and really nice. She had this blonde hair and she's reaaaally pretty." Hailey smiled widely.

''Why haven't I ever met her?'' Addison smiled at her and stroked her hair. She shrugged. "Jenny lives in Bristol, it's in England. She likes to travel, her mommy is nice. We played together, she teached me an Indian dance. It was fun. I can't dance it as good as her. But I know it. It was so fun." She grinned widely.

''Oh so she doesn't live here?''

She shook her head. "Nope, it's sad. I had fun with her. She told me how big a penguin can be!"

Addison smiled at her daughter. ''Hey Hailey wouldn't you like to have a friend?''

She nodded eagerly. "Someone like Jenny! But here..."

''Yeah... maybe we could look for some kind of hobby where you could make friends.''

She grinned widely. "Really?!" She took a large bite of her sandwich.

''If you want to, what would you like to do?''

"Dance..." She confessed. "And sing.."

''Hmm maybe we could look for a toddler dance class, I'm sure there are some around.'' Addison smiled, every little girl loved that. She clapped her hands together in excitement, a wide smile decorating her face. "Really?!?!"

''Yes.'' She kissed the top of her head.

"Yay!" Hailey squealed and then took the last bite of her bread.

''Give mommy a kiss okay?''

The little girl pecked her mother's lips, her mouth still full. Addison burst out in laughter. Hailey looked at her shocked before shrugging and swallowing. She gave her daughter a kiss on her lips. Hailey smiled and pecked her lips again before getting up from the chair and running to the doorway. "DADDYYYY!" She yelled loudly, they sure could hear it upstairs.

''Hailey don't go up the stairs!'' Addison told her.

"Daddyyy come downnn!" She yelled loudly again.

''Der!'' Addison called him down as well. Few moments later Derek appeared to the other end of the stairs with Justin on his hip. "What is it?"

''Your daughter is calling for you.''

"What is it pumpkin?" Derek asked softly once he reached Hailey, gently brushing her hair.

"Mommy said I could sing with other people if I wanted to! And dance!" She smirked widely. Addison smiled down at her.

"Oooh that's great sweetie, you could get friends there!" Derek smiled happily, lifting Hailey onto his other hip.

''Yeah that was the plan.''

"It's a great plan." Derek smiled and walked towards Addison. "Maybe Justin would like to do something too, would you?" He softly asked his son.

''I don't like to dance.''

"Would you like to do something else honey?" Derek asked again, placing a sweet kiss on Addison's lips.

''Like what?'' The little boy asked and Addison smiled at her husband.

"Like I don't know... painting? Finger painting? I liked painting when I was little."

''Finger painting!'' Justin's eyes widened in excitement. Derek let out a laugh. "Really? I bet there's some kind of club for artists here."

''We could look for it.'' Addison said.

"Yeah I bet you'd like it." Derek placed the twins on the floor, wrapping an arm around Addison's waist, pressing a kiss on her cheek. Addison got off of her chair, sitting down in her husband's lap. He smiled softly and dropped a kiss on her shoulder. "Good morning."

''Morning sweet heart.''

"I love you." He said with a wide smile on his face, pressing few more kisses on her shoulder.

''I love you too.'' She smiled, tilting up his head to give him a kiss. ''Someone forgot to shave today.''

"Shush, you like it." He replied, kissing her as softly as he could, the stubble tickling her skin a little.

''Hey Der?'' She mumbled against his lips, her eyes closed.

"Hmm yes?" He replied, carrying on kissing his beautiful wife.

''In the weekend, shall we take the kids to an amusement park?'' She asked still kissing him softly.

"Uhuh... that sounds like fun." He murmured against her lips, they were going to break the Guinness world record of kissing.

''Hmm for you or the twins?'' She was still kissing him.

"Hmm lemme think..." He softly kissed her before answering. "Both."

''Yeah I thought so.''

He grinned against her lips. "I like amusement parks."

''I know you do.'' She softly sucked on his bottom lip. ''I won't have much there.''

He held back a moan, gently running his tongue along her bottom lip once his lip was freed. "Yeah, but you can eat cotton candy."

''Mhm.'' She murmured.

"Hmmm." He smiled against her lips a little, softly placing his hand on her thigh. She couldn't suppress a small moan. A smile decorated his lips again, just letting his hand rest there, not do anything dirty. She moved her hips close against his so every inch of them was touching, her thighs over his. A light moan passed his lips and he ran his tongue along her lip again. She parted her lips for him. He slowly slipped his tongue into her mouth and let it explore her hot mouth. She massaged her tongue against his.

A moan escaped his lips as his tongue duelled with hers heatedly. She moved her arms around his neck closer. He pulled her against him, his hand moving up her thigh before it went around her waist with the other one. She pressed their bodies against each other. He moaned lowly, playing with her pyjama top.

''Don't try anything.'' She mumbled.

"I'm not." He mumbled back, his tongue attacking hers again.

''Hmhmm.'' She let out a moan.

"Hmhmm." He mumbled, not wanting to pull back from her, ever again. She played with the curly ends of his hair. He moaned into the kiss once again, wondering how she could made him feel this good with just a kiss. She kissed him soundly. He smirked as he pulled back, pecking her lips. "Don't get me excited, you do not want that."

''I'm just kissing you.''

"You're sitting on my lap and kissing me, and plus you look beautiful this morning." He replied, placing a soft kiss on her lips.

''I look horrible.'' She pulled a face and stroked her hair to the other side.

"Nooo, don't start that okay? You look beautiful." He stroked it back where it was.

''I rolled out of bed like this.''

"Uhuh?" He raised his eyebrows. "Your point being...?" He softly brushed her hair.

''That I don't look beautiful.''

"I still think you look better than Kylie Minogue." He shrugged pecking her lips.

''What's with her?''

He shrugged. Addison frowned. Derek pecked her lips. "The point is, you look thousand times better than anyone, even if you don't have any makeup."

''Thanks.'' She gave him a sincere smile.

"Anytime." He brushed her cheek gently.

''I love you.''

"I love you more." He softly kissed her before shifting on his seat. She gave him a loving kiss. He pulled back after a moment or two. "You know what? I love morning-kisses."

''Even though we both haven't brushed our teeth?''

"Uh uh, I like your lips in the morning." He pecked hers softly.

''Why?''

"I don't know, I just do, they're a bit dry and I can kiss them back to the soft ones my Addie has."

She smiled at him, she loved it when he called her his Addie. He pecked her lips once more, giving her another smile. "Yeah... I love morning-kisses."

''Hmm me too, after you shaved.''

He rolled his eyes. "What? I can't have a sexy stubble?"

''You really like that stubble don't you?''

He shrugged. "Nah, I'm gonna shave, it's itchy."

''It is, but it is kinda sexy though.''

"You think so?" He grinned sexily.

''Mhm.'' Addison smiled.

"Good." He pecked her lips. "Say bye bye to sexy stubble, Derek has to shave now."

''Bye sexyness.''

He let out a soft laugh. "You want me to shave or not?"

''Whatever you're comfortable with.''

"What do you want me to do? It's up to you."

Addison rolled her eyes at him. He pecked her lips. "C'mon, choose for me wifey."

''Do not call me wifey.''

"Addie, my lovely wife, my love, sweetie, honey, sugar, my love..."

''Shut up.'' She laughed. He chuckled at her reaction, pecking her lips. "So, which one do you prefer?"

''I don't know really, it's your face.''

"Fine I'm shaving then." He shrugged before pecking her lips softly."

''Kay.''

He made a smile and shifted her on his lap. "Now, up please."

She got out of his lap and stood up. He smiled and got up from the chair, placing another kiss on her lips before starting to walk away. "When I come back there better be some food."

''Derek.'' She said cautiously, looking lost in her own thoughts.

"Yes?" He looked back at her, raising his eyebrows.

''I haven't had morning sickness...''

"Yeah?" He walked back to her.

''But I did have stomach cramps.''

"Yeah." He nodded with a slightly worried look on his face.

''I need an appointment with an OB/GYN.'' She tried to stay calm. He nodded again silently, a lump forming in his throat. He tried to say something. "Ads?"

''Yeah?''

"It'll be okay, you know that right?" He wasn't sure anymore though. She just looked at him, her mouth slightly open. ''Call the hospital, please.''

He looked at her with a serious expression on his face. "You okay?"

''No.'' She said honestly. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close to him as he reached for the cell phone in his pocket. She wrapped her arms around her husband tightly.

"Just an appointment or to the ER?" He asked quietly, afraid of her answer.

''I-- I don't know.''

"Are you hurting?" He asked, placing kisses on the top of her head.

''No...''

"We could get an appointment for this afternoon." He gently rubbed her back, going through his phone, finally finding the number of an OB/GYN.

''Yeah.'' Addison sighed and closed her eyes. He placed a kiss on her forehead, pressing the green phone and bringing the phone to his ear.

''Dr. Brown's office, how can I help you?''

"Hello this is Derek Shepherd."

''Hello Mr. Shepherd, what can I do for you?'' The assistant asked politely.

"I'd like to book an appointment for my wife for this afternoon, is it possible?"

''Is it urgent?''

"Yes, it is urgent."

''Okay, could you tell me what it is for?''

"She's pregnant and she had really bad cramps earlier and we ended up in a hospital but no nausea, we'd just like to be sure about this. Check on her."

''So the complaints are no nausea?'' She asked confused.

"She was in a really bad shape this week and we just need to be sure about this okay? With the twins she was nauseous from the very beginning."

''Let me take a look if we can squeeze you in somewhere.''

"Thank you, I'd appreciate that." He let out a sigh of relief, placing a kiss on the top of Addison's head.

''Uhm, I have a few minutes in half an hour, can you make that?''

"Yes thank you very much." He made a small smile, pulling Addison a bit closer in order to comfort her.

''Alright, I'll see you in half an hour then.''

"Thank you." He smiled a little.

''Welcome. Bye.'' She hung up with that.

He put the phone into his pocket. "In 30 minutes, that's the only available today anymore. You okay with that?"

''Yeah.'' She nodded.

"Good, how's your stomach?" He asked softly, starting to lead her out of the room.

''Normal I think.''

"That's good, that's really good." He wrapped his other arm around her waist, resting his hand on her stomach.

''Do you think our baby is alright?'' She asked quietly.

"I can't know for sure honey but I hope so, our baby is a fighter, I know it." He softly moved his hand over her stomach.

''I'm so scared.''

"Me too Addie, me too." He didn't want to look at her, see the fear in her eyes, every time it made his stomach turn. She held onto him tightly. ''This is all my fault.''

"This isn't your fault." He tried to assure her. "This is no one's fault."

''I didn't eat healthy, I never paid attention to it, I didn't even realize anything could be wrong.''

"Shh... it'll be okay, calm down okay? We don't know for sure." He pulled her even closer. She shut her eyes close tightly. He pressed kisses on the top of her head. "It'll be just fine..."

''God I hope so.''

He nodded. "It will, believe me.."

''You have to stay with the kids.''

He nodded. "Are you okay with going alone?" He needed to make sure.

''No.'' She said honest.

"Do you want me to come with you? We can do that if you want it, or we can call my mom to take you there."

''I can't call your mom remember?''

"Yeah true but... do you want someone to go with you?" He asked again.

''I do but there is no one.''

"Do you want Mark to watch the kids if I come with you?"

''We could take the kids with us... Mark is probably in class.''

"Yeah... we should do that." He nodded, slowly brushing her stomach.

''Yeah...''

Derek brushed her hair gently and pressed a small kiss on her lips.

''We should get ready.''

"Yeah." He gave her a small kiss on her cheek as they stepped into their room.

''Will you dress the kids this time please?'' She asked without looking at him.

"Yeah, you get yourself ready okay?" He softly brushed her stomach.

''Yeah I will.'' She kept his hand on her stomach like anything would happen if he would take it away. He gently rubbed her stomach, pressing tender kisses on her shoulder. "It'll be okay."

''It has to be.''

He moved towards the bed and sat down, pulling her to sit on his lap, both of his hands on her stomach. "It is."

''You need to get the kids ready.''

He nodded. "I will right after I get you ready. Look, there's nothing wrong with our baby, there can't be."

''I just need to get dressed okay, I'll be okay.''

He shook his head at her answer, pressing few kisses on her shoulder. "I'm here for you, you know that right?"

''Yeah I do.'' She nodded.

"Good." A small smile appeared on his lips. "I'm your husband, you can talk to me about this stuff. If anything's bothering you, you can tell me. If you need me to hold you, simply tell me. If you need a shoulder to cry on, trust me on this one, I will be there." He softly rubbed her stomach the whole time.

''I know.'' She whispered. ''Thank you.'' She couldn't imagine what this would be like if they actually got divorced, she didn't even want to think about it.

"Always." He said back in a quiet voice, lacing his fingers with hers, both of their hands resting on her stomach.

''I love you.''

"I love you too, so much." He closed his eyes for a moment.

''We're gonna run late.''

"We're gonna hurry." He placed a kiss on her hair. "Be ready in 10 minutes okay?"

''I will be.'' She sighed and got up. He nodded. "I'm gonna get the twins dressed."

''Yeah.'' She opened her closet. He got up from the bed and walked out of the room. Addison started to get dressed. About ten minutes Derek walked into the room with the twins balanced on his hips. Addison had gotten dressed by then and had pulled her hair up in a ponytail. He looked at her for a moment, adoring her beauty, she was beautiful even when her hair was just in a ponytail. "Ready to go?"

''Yeah.'' She nodded, giving each twin a kiss.

"Good." He replied.

"Mommy where are we going?"

''We're going to the hospital baby.'' They walked out of the bedroom.

"What? Is there something wrong with me again?" Her eyes widened. "But my tummy was feeling better!"

''Not for you honey, for the baby.''

"Oh... what's wrong with the baby?" Hailey's eyes were just as wide as before.

''We're just getting a check-up.''

"Oh..." Hailey nodded, resting her head against Addison's shoulder.

She took Hailey from her husband as they left the house. They walked to the car and put the twins on their car seats. Addison got into the passenger's seat. Derek got into the car and put on his seat belt, starting the car.

Soon they reached the hospital, still having a few minutes left. Derek got out of the car once parked and took Justin from his seat, slamming the door closed. Addison got Hailey as Derek locked the car. Derek walked towards Addison, giving her a sweet peck on the cheek once he reached her. Addison grabbed his hand as they walked towards the entrance. He gave her hand a soft squeeze, like he was testing if she was still there. She gave his a small squeeze back. He made a small, brave smile and soon they reached the waiting room and instantly Addison's name was called.

''That's me.'' Addison said.

"Oh hi." Dr. Brown held out her hand. "I'm Dr. Brown, we've been waiting for you for a while now."

''Yeah I'm really sorry for being late.'' Addison shook the woman's hand, giving her an apologizing smile.

"It's okay, you must be her husband?" Sofia Brown offered her hand for Derek, who quickly shook it.

"Yeah, Derek Shepherd."

''I'm Justin!'' The little boy piped in. The doctor let out a warm laugh. "Nice to meet you Justin, I'm Sofia."

''Hello.'' He smiled sweetly at the doctor.

"And who's this lovely young lady?" She smiled at Hailey.

''I'm Hailey.'' She said shyly.

"How old are you Hailey?" The doctor asked softly from the little girl.

''Two.'' She held up two fingers. ''Almost this much.'' She held up three fingers this time.

"Wow, that's a lot." She smiled again, nodding her head approvingly. "And how old is your brother then?"

''He's two too!''

"Oooh are you twins?" She faked surprised.

''Yeah!''

"Wow, that's cool." She chuckled, nodding towards a door behind her. "Let's go in."

''I think it's better if you stay here with the kids.'' Addison told her husband, adding a 'in case of what could happen' in her mind.

"Yeah, that's probably for the best." He pressed a kiss on Addison's forehead while taking Hailey from her. She gave him a small smile and went in with the doctor.

"So..." The doctor sat on her chair, looking at her. "Would you tell me why are you here?"

''Yeah erhm, I'm four weeks pregnant.''

"Yes?" Dr. Brown nodded, looking into her eyes.

''And I had stomach cramps earlier, I went to the hospital for it but it resolved to be apparently stress and then this morning I realized I haven't felt anything yet, just in the very first week but nothing later on.''

"Yeah? Well that could be nothing but I think we should check. So no nausea since the first week? Have you been eating well?" The doctor asked, writing something on a chart.

''Not really...'' She admitted.

"Not really?" She raised her eyebrows surprised.

''Yeah...''

"Explain?" She asked, looking up from her chart.

''I've been loosing weight.'' Addison shrugged.

"During the pregnancy?"

''No before.''

"Okay and how much weight are we talking about?"

''About 6lbs per week I guess.''

The doctor sighed. "You know that's not healthy, right?"

''I know but I'm here for my baby.''

The doctor nodded at her answer. "Are you trying to gain some more weight now?"

''I'm going to try to.''

"Okay, that's good. But so, no nausea yet? It could be nothing, really. Some women don't get it until they're 12 weeks along, and some don't have it at all. And some... they have it since the first week. So really, I wouldn't worry too much."

''When I was pregnant with my twins I was nausea ALL the time.''

"Ouch. Well it was twins, this could be different, every pregnancy is."

''I'm just really worried.''

"Yeah it's natural." Sofia nodded at her patient, writing something on the chart. Addison nodded as well, wow this was really helping her she thought sarcastically.

"We could do a quick exam now, just to see if anything's wrong." The doctor got up from the chair.

''Okay.''


	19. Nemo, Fairies and Swinging

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 19 – Nemo, Fairies and Swinging_

Some time later Addison stepped out of the room with the doctor. They both were smiling. "So, how did it go?" Derek, who was sitting on a chair next to the door and balancing Hailey on his thigh, asked.

''Good.'' Addison nodded her head. A sigh of relief left his lips and a wide smile spread on his face. "Good?"

''Yeah I guess.'' Truth was she hadn't got any wiser from the appointment.

"That's great." He smiled again.

''Yeah...''

"So, ready to go home?" He asked softly, carefully rubbing Hailey's leg that had been aching earlier.

''Yeah I am.''

"Okay, that's great." He smiled a little, tapping Hailey's leg softly before getting up and placing her on his hip. Addison took Justin.

"You'll tell me later?" Derek asked softly, raising his eyebrows as they walked away after saying their goodbyes to the doctor.

''Yeah.'' She nodded, stroking Justin's hair.

"Good." Derek nodded as well, moving a bit closer to Addison, bringing his hand close to hers so that she could easily take it in hers. She had a distant look in her eyes, like she was somewhere else in thoughts. He gave her a worried look, grabbing her hand in his, this was his way of showing her his support. She looked up at him. He placed a tiny kiss on her nose, turning to look forward. They left the hospital. They arrived to the Shepherd's house and few minutes later they were in the hallway, shrugging off their coats. Addison let out a small sigh. Derek gave her another worried look. "You okay?"

''Yeah I'm fine.''

"Yeah?" He wasn't too convinced about this.

''Yeah.'' She watched the kids running into the living room.

"Talk to me?" He hung his and the kids' coats.

''About what?''

"About what's bothering you now?"

''Nothing is bothering me now.''

He shrugged. "Okay then, just telling you that you can talk if you want to."

''Thanks.''

He placed a kiss on her forehead and then a gentle one on her lips.

''Do you need to talk to me?''

"Not really, but I think we should talk sometime soon." He shrugged, "You can tell me and I can tell you about everything."

''Like what?''

"Like about your dad if you want to, about everything, our past, our future."

She nodded. ''I'd like that.''

"That's good." He softly brushed her hair, pressing a tiny kiss on her lips. She gave him a hug. He hugged her back tightly, his head resting on top of hers softly.

''I love you.''

"I love you too Addles."

She smiled softly.

"I'm so glad you're my wife."

''Why?''

"Because you're Addie, beautiful, talented, amazing, sweet, kind, loving and all that. And... mine."

She gave him a smile. ''Thank you.''

"Anytime." He pressed a little kiss on her lips.

''I love you so much.''

"I love you too, so so so so much." He replied, pressing his lips against hers. She softly kissed him back. He brought his hand to her face, cupping her jaw gently and lovingly. She gave him a soft kiss. He smiled against her lips a little, gently brushing her cheek.

''We really do need to talk later.''

"I know we do" He said softly, leaning his forehead against hers. "Tonight?"

''Yeah.'' She nodded. ''I'm gonna make some breakfast now.''

"Okay, for me too?" He blinked his eyes.

''Yeah of course.''

"Thanks." He smiled softly at his wife.

''No problem.''

He slowly walked into the living room where the kids were. Addison went into the kitchen. He sat on the couch and turned on the TV, it was a comedy show.

"Hey sweetie." He smiled widely and looked at the screen.

''Hi daddy.''

"Are you feeling okay?" He spoke softly.

''Yeah. Why?''

"Just wondering how you were today, the flu.." He softly brushed her back.

''My tummy doesn't hurt anymore.''

"That's great sweetie."

''Mhm.'' She nodded smiling.

"Are you hungry?" He asked again.

''No.'' She snuggled further into his lap.

"Okay, that's good." Derek smiled softly, rubbing the little girl's tummy.

''Yeah!'' She smiled, she loved cuddling with her daddy. He chuckled, softly pressing kisses on her hair.

''Daddy?''

"Yes Hails?" Derek asked gently.

''When Happy is born can I sleep in your and mommy's bed again?''

"I don't know sweetie, we have to think about that." He softly smiled at the older twin, pressing a kiss on her forehead, trying hard not to laugh. "Happy is going to sleep in her own room, and you and Jussie have your room. Don't you want to sleep there?"

''No.'' She pouted sadly.

"Why not sweetie?"

''Because then I have no one to cuddle with.''

"Aww honey, you can cuddle your toys, right?"

''But they won't cuddle me back..''

"Aww , but we can't cuddle at night, night is for sleeping. You can cuddle with me during the day."

''But you're always busy.''

"Sorry honey, I have to study but I promise to make you some time okay?"

''When?'' She looked up at him with her big eyes which colour matched his exactly.

"I can cuddle with you in the evening, and during the day when I'm not at school, okay?"

''Yeah!''

He chuckled. "Good."

''Daddy when are we gonna watch the fish?''

"Do you want to watch it today?" Derek gently brushed her hair.

''Yes!''

He laughed softly and nodded. "Adds, can we watch Nemo today?"

''Sure.'' She responded from the kitchen.

"Thanks!" He yelled back at her, softly smiling at her daughter. "You heard your mom?"

''Yeah.'' Hailey smiled sweetly.

"Okay, we'll watch Nemo today." She chuckled.

''Yay! Thank you daddy!''

"Welcome sweetie." He laughed and hugged his daughter.

''Daddy will we go to the park today?''

"Sure, if we have time." He smiled at her.

''After breakfast?'' She asked as Addison brought their breakfast.

"Addles can we go to the park after breakfast?" Derek blinked his eyes like a puppy. She shrugged. ''You can take them, I have to clean.''

He screwed up his face. "You want to stay home and clean instead of playing with your kids and your lovely husband?"

''The house needs to be cleaned.''

He gave her a smile. "Okay then."

She went back into the kitchen where she was having breakfast with Justin.

"Mommy can you make monkey shaped breads?" Justin asked, taking a bite of his sandwich.

''Erhm no.''

"Oh." He shrugged, taking another big bite. Addison picked at her sandwich.

"This is good." He spoke with his mouth full.

''Yeah?''

He nodded and swallowed. "I want a cake for my birthday."

''What kinda cake?'' She took a bite of her sandwich.

"It has to be a monkey shaped one or then a panda." He grinned.

''You do?'' His mother looked at him. He grinned widely and nodded. "Yeps."

''Why?''

"Monkeys are fun and pandas are CUTE."

''They are.'' She smiled at him.

"OH! OH! Or Nemo!"

''And what should be in those cakes?''

"Ummm chocolate!"

''Yum.''

He nodded. "I like chocolate."

''Oh I know.'' She chuckled. He smiled widely and took another large bite. "Can you make chocolate sandwiches?"

''No, that's unhealthy.''

He pouted. "Whyy?"

''You can't eat chocolate sandwiches.''

He pouted his lips even more. "What about sandwich in chocolate?"

''Neither.'' She chuckled.

He shook his head. "I should be a chef."

''Hmm totally.''

He grinned. "I love you mommy." He took a big bite.

''I love you too baby.'' She took a bite as well.

"I'm done!" Justin announced after a while, his mouth still full.

''We're going to the park today.''

"Really?!" He smiled widely.

''Yeah really.'' Addison smiled.

"YAY!" He got up from his seat.

''But you do need to give mommy a kiss.''

Justin ran to his mother and climbed on her lap, pecking her lips. Addison smiled widely at him, giving him a small kiss. He jumped off of her lap. "I wanna watch TV!"

''You can.''

"Yay." He ran out of the room, a giggle leaving his lips. Addison cleaned up the kitchen. Derek was sitting on the couch with twins, watching Elmo do funny things. He personally thought it was lame but still... he watched it for his kids. She walked into the living room when she was done, standing behind the couch, she wrapped her arms around her husband's neck. He jumped a little before a shiver ran through his body and he tilted his head backwards to see her.

"Hi." He said softly.

''Hey.'' She gave him a smile. He smiled back and pecked her lips gently. She gently kissed him. He kissed her back, his head still tilted backwards. She ran her tongue over his lips. A light moan passed his lips as he softly nibbled her bottom lip. She started to kiss him harder. Another small moan passed his lips and he pushed his tongue against her lips. She parted her lips under his. He let his tongue slip into her mouth slowly. She started massaging his tongue. He tried to keep his moans down, his tongue duelling with hers. Her hands were on his cheeks. Their tongues fought heatedly in her mouth. Small moans left her lips. His hand gently brushed her cheek.

''I love you.'' She whispered against his lips.

"I love you too." He replied in a murmur against her lips before slowly pulling back.

''Shall I just do the cleaning later?''

"Yeah that'd be nice, the house doesn't need to be the cleanest one of the neighbourhood. And I can help you later." Oh he was going to regret saying that.

''Promise?''

"Umm sure." He shrugged, a smile playing on his lips.

''Alright then, thanks.''

"No problem." He smiled at her. "Maybe after Nemo."

''Yeah.''

"Okay then."

''Mhm.''

"So you're coming to the park with us?" He smiled widely.

''I think so yeah.''

"Sounds great." He pressed a kiss on her lips.

''Yep.''

He smiled before turning to look at the screen.

''I'm gonna put on some make-up.''

"You don't need it but okay."

''Thanks.'' She pecked his lips and went upstairs.

The Shepherd family walked into the park and instantly Hailey squealed excitedly, seeing the swings. "Oh daddy please!"

''Go push her on the swings.'' Addison said smiling. Derek chuckled and took the little girl's hand in his, and Hailey started pulling him towards the swings. Addison walked towards a spot on the grass, holding her son's hand. Few moments later Justin was laying on his back on the grass, looking at the clouds. His mother was laying next to him, doing the same as she occasionally watched Derek and Hailey. Derek was gently, and carefully, pushing her on the swing. Randomly talking to her. Addison smiled at them as she could see her daughter giggling. A soft laugh left his lips and he pushed her higher like she had wished. She turned back to look at Justin who seemed lost in his own world of cloud watching. One that looked like a bread, another one like a rabbit and good grief! A fox! Now the little boy had a shocked expression. Addison chuckled softly, resting her head on her hand.

"THAT FOX IS GONNA EAT THE BREAD!" Justin yelled, pointing at the sky.

''What?'' She laughed.

"Look! There's a fox! And a bread!"

''In the clouds?''

He nodded eagerly. "Look! It's going closer!"

''Woa.'' Addison chuckled. Justin looked at his mother. "Tell me when it's over."

''Is it scary?''

He nodded a little. "The bread doesn't want a fox to eat it, it wanted to be eaten by me."

''But your little stomach is all full!'' She rubbed his tummy playfully. He giggled. "No! It's not!"

''Ye-hes it i-his.''

"Nuh uhhhh." He laughed at his mother, rubbing his tummy. "It has room for one more!"

''Hmm.'' She chuckled. He grinned and tapped his stomach. "But now the fox ate it!" He pointed at the sky.

''Ah but a little fairy once told me that cloud bread really wasn't that tasty.''

"Really?" His jaw dropped, "Do you know a fairy??"

''Maybe.'' She said mysteriously.

"Tell me!!" He demanded, his eyes widening.

''It's a secret.'' She whispered, picking up the little boy and holding him close. He smiled. "What if you whisper it?"

''Oh I can't!''

He pouted at her. "Pleeeeeease."

''Okay, come closer.''

Justin moved even closer, so that his ear was near her mouth, waiting. Addison tried her best not to laugh. ''When you're falling asleep at night little fairies throw a little fairy dust over you so you have beautiful dreams when you're sleeping.''

"Really?" His eyes widened and he gasped.

''Mhm.'' She smiled at him.

"Wow... can I tell Hails?!"

''Nooo it's a secret remember?''

He pouted sadly.

''Well, maybe just Bug then.''

"Yay!" He grinned and quickly hugged her. She gladly hugged him back.

He pressed a kiss on her cheek. "I love you mommy."

''I love you too cutiepie.'' She kissed his lips. He grinned. "I wanna go to the sandbox!"

''Now?''

He nodded quickly.

''Alright, we just have to tell daddy.''

He nodded and got up as quickly as he could. They walked towards the swings.

"I wanna go to the sandbox!" Justin yelled excitedly once they reached Derek and Hailey.

''Oh me too!'' Hailey responded. Derek laughed softly at them. "Okay wait just a little bit and I'll take Hails from the swing.

''Now!'' Hailey ordered.

"Yes yes don't be so bossy." He stopped the swing slowly.

''I'm not!''

"Hailey Milla Shepherd, patience!" Derek began to help her off the swing.

''Faster!!''

"No." Derek backed away, leaving her on the swing. "You cannot order people like that, understood?"

''Daddyyyyyy!''

"Hailey, understood?" He asked again.

''Daddy I wanna go to the sandbox!''

"Yes you will get to go, but you do not get to be so bossy." He helped her off the swing.

''I'm not bossy!''

He shook his head at her. "You were sweetie."

''Nuhuh!''

He nodded. "Sorry sweetie."

''Carry me daddy.''

"Ask nicely." He reached out his arms.

"Please."

He picked her up and balanced her on his hip. She wrapped her little arms securely around her father's neck. He smiled softly at her. "Good girl."

''I am!''

"Oh yes you are." They walked towards the sandbox.

''Yay!''

Once they reached it, he placed Hailey on the ground. "Play nicely okay?"

''We always do!''

"YEAH WE DO!" Justin confirmed, making Derek laugh.

"Okay then."

Both kids jumped into the sandbox. Hailey began to build a castle. "Jussie, you want to help?"

''Yes!''

"Yay!" She grinned and carried on building. Their parents watched them. Derek wrapped his arms around Addison's waist from behind and buried his head into her hair. She tilted her head to the side, giving him a kiss. He kissed her back for a moment or two.

''Der, let's make a promise.''

"What kind of a promise?"

''For the talk tonight.''

"Yeah? What about it?"

''That we're gonna be honest with each other and whatever is gonna be said, we won't go to bed angry.''

He nodded. "Okay, do you think we'll get mad at each other?"

''I don't know, just in case...''

"Yeah... just in case." He slowly brushed her hip with his hand. "I love you."

''I love you too.''

"I couldn't imagine my life without you." He confessed softly.

''Me either...''

He nodded and softly laced their fingers together on her stomach. She kept their hands on her stomach. He pressed a kiss on her hair.

''You know what else we should do tonight?''

"Hmm?" He asked, resting his head on her shoulder.

''Have sex.''

"Yay." He couldn't help it, a smile graced his lips. Addison chuckled. He shrugged before placing few kisses on her shoulder. "We could have great sex tonight."

''Yeah?''

"Yeah, like always." He added, placing soft kisses on her neck.

''Hmhmm.'' She smiled.

"Hey not good for my ego, you're supposed to say 'Oh yes' or something like that." He gently bit on her neck.

''Hmm god yes.'' She said in an intentional moan. He let out a laugh. "Much better."

''Good, it better be.''

He chuckled at his wife. "It is."

''Mhm.''

"You really think we have great sex?" He asked unsure, he thought it was great but... he had never really asked her.

''Why are you asking?''

"Because I'm unsure." He shrugged. "We never talk about sex. I think it's amazing, but I just never really asked you."

''I already told you I thought we should talk about sex.''

"You did and I think you're right." He shrugged.

''We could talk about that as well tonight?''

"Okay." He smiled a little. She smiled back at him.

"But really, answer me." He gently squeezed her hand.

''Answer what?'' She asked confused.

"Do you think we have great sex?" He asked softly.

''Of course I do.''

He smiled and pressed a kiss on her lips. "Good."

''Although I would prefer doing it more often.''

"Oh god yes." He nodded. "Exactly my thoughts."

''Hmm good. How often would you like to do it?''

"I don't know, like umm once or twice a day." He pecked her lips. "I like sex."

''Hmm me too but I don't think we can manage two times.''

"I know, it's hard with the kids." He shrugged, placing another kiss on her lips.

''Yeah it is, but at night when the kids are asleep we can.'' She looked at the twosome in the sandbox. ''If it was up to me we'd be having sex every two hours.''

"Or we'd be having sex all day long." He shrugged with a grin on his face. "We should have a small vacation, like few days and simply have sex."

''Hmm yeah, but we can't, especially not with a third.''

"Yeah, kinda sucks." He pressed a kiss on her cheek. "When they grow up, and move on their own, we're going to have a vacation. A big vacation, and have sex. The whole time."

''We'll be old then.'' She chuckled.

"So? Old people have sex too." He let out a laugh.

''I refuse to believe that.''

He nudged her softly and chuckled at her. "Shush, and believe me, we will have sex."

''Tonight.''

"And when we're 43." He nodded with a grin on his face.

''That's a loooong time from here Shepherd.''

"And we'll be having sex the whole loooooooooooooong time Mrs. Shepherd."

''We better.''

He smirked and pecked her lips. "We will."

''Good.'' She smiled.

"Wow we're good at talking about sex." He smiled at her.

''We are.'' She agreed. He gently hugged her closer to him. "You look amazing today by the way."

''Thanks.'' She gave him a smile. ''Why are you saying it so often now?''

"I don't know, because it's the truth?" He shrugged and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "And we promised to be open with each other."

''Yeah.'' She pecked his lips. He pecked her lips back. "And you can tell me how sexy I look with my stubble I still didn't shave." He wiggled his eyebrows.

''Oh yeah I could.'' She teased.

"You could?" He tilted his head to the side with a grin on his face. "Say it then."

''It then.'' She copied. He rolled his eyes. "That is childish Addie." He tried to hold back his smile.

''That is childish Addie.''

"I, Addison Shepherd, am a sex-addict." He raised an eyebrow, challenging her.

''I am not!'' She said shocked, slapping his chest.

"And I'm Bill Clinton." He rubbed his chest.

''How am I a sex addict?!''

"Just admit it." He rolled his eyes at her, gently pecking her lips.

''No, I won't because I'm not.''

He grinned and pecked her lips. "Whatever. At least I made you stop copying me."

''Shut up.''

He smiled at her. "You don't want me to shut up."

''I so do.''

"Fine then." He gave her a smile. She gave him a wide one back when the children both came out of the sandbox. Derek smiled at the kids and Hailey hugged her mother's leg. "We had so much fun!"

''You did?'' Addison bent down smiling.

"Yeah! We made a castle! Though it's not too big..." She pointed at one close to them.

''Oh but it's a cool one!''

"Yeah! Justin helped me with it!"

"YES! And Hails is the princess in the castle!" He grinned.

''Aww and are you the prince?''

He shook his head. "THE DRAGON!"

''Ooh scary!''

"Yeah! GRAUGH" He grinned and opened his jacket, using it as wings. Addison chuckled softly. Derek let out a small laugh, brushing his little dragon's hair.

''Are we going home already?''

"I don't knowww." Justin pouted a little. "But I do want a bread!"

''Again?''

He nodded. "I like them!"

''Yeah I know you do but shall we just play in the grass for a little more before we go home already?''

He nodded at his mother. "Yeah, that'd be fun."

''Mhm.'' She picked the toddler up. Derek picked up Hailey. "Was Jussie a scary dragon?"

''Nooo he was a cute little baby dragon!''

Derek chuckled. "That's great, was he a friendly one?"'

''Yeah he was my puppy pet in the castle.''

"Oooh that's great." He smiled, these kids sure had imagination.

''Yeah!''

"You look like a real princess, you know that?"

''I do?'' Her eyes widened.

"Yes you do sweetie, my little princess."

Hailey giggled. Derek chuckled softly at his daughter. "You're such a cutie, you know that?"

''I am?'' She giggled again.

"Yeah, veeeery cute!" He smiled at her.

''Am I your cutiepie?''

He nodded at her and whispered. "Yeah you are."

She smiled widely and hugged her daddy tight. He hugged her back tightly, placing kisses on the top of her head.

''I love you dadda.''

"I love you too Buggie." He smiled, it always warmed his heart when she or Justin said that to him, or even better, Addison.

''Let's play in the grass now!''

He chuckled, slowly laying on his back next to Addison and Justin, extending his arms towards the sky, lifting his little girl. ''Daddy!'' She giggled excitedly, her little arms and legs stretching out. He chuckled at his daughter, after a while bringing her back down onto his chest.

''That was fun.'' She had a smile on her face.

"It was?" Derek smiled at her widely.

''Very very much.''

He chuckled at her, turning his head to the side so that he was facing Addison. Addison was stroking Justin's dark hair, telling him some story he was listening to with his full attention, his thumb in his mouth. He smiled at the sight widely, listening to his wife as well, looking at the way her lips moved when she talked, staring at her eyes, and the smile on her face. Hailey snuggled against his chest, closing her eyes. He looked down at Hailey, cuddling her close against his chest, turning to look at Addison again. Addison was still telling the story animatedly. He let out a chuckle, looking at her expressions and listening to her voice. She looked at him, continuing to talk. He smiled softly, carrying on watching her. She gave him a smile. Derek moved his other hand on Addison's, giving it a small squeeze. She gave his a soft squeeze back, looking at their little girl on his chest who was curled up and fast asleep.

"Can I talk already?" Derek pouted, he hadn't said a word to her since she said shut up.

''Sure.'' She chuckled.

"Yays." He grinned and pecked her lips. She pecked his back, smiling. He smiled back at her widely, not wanting to pull back.

''I love you.''

"I love you more." He replied, pecking her lips a few times. Justin watched the two of them. Derek smiled widely at Addison, pecking her lips again and again.

''Daddy.'' Justin pushed him away from her with his little hand. ''Not that much kisses.''

Derek laughed softly. "And why not?" He pecked Addison's lips once more, daring his son.

''Daddy! That are too many kisses.''

Derek chuckled at his son. "There's no such thing sweetie."

''There i-hiiiiisss.''

"No-ooo..." Derek grinned. "Wait until you're 16, then we'll be the one's telling you that you kiss too much!"

The little boy frowned. Derek chuckled at him, softly brushing his hair. "Believe me on this one."

''That's really old.''

"Really? I don't think that's really old, you're just so little."

''I am not!''

"Okay okay." Derek chuckled at him.

''You're old.''

Derek rolled his eyes. "Am not"

''Yuhuh you are.''

"Nuh uh! Addie tell him I'm not old!"

''Nope.'' She chuckled.

"Then you're old too!"

''Daddy can we go watch Nemo now?''

"Now? You're done with park?" He laughed softly.

''Yeah!''

He smiled. "Let's go home then."

He started poking his sister. ''Hailey!''

"Ouch!!" She yelled sleepily.

''We're gonna watch the fish now, you have to get up!''

"The fish???" Hailey's head shot up instantly, grinning widely.

''Yeah!''

"YAY!" Hailey grinned, getting off of Derek, standing up straight. "Let's go already!"

''Wow someone is up.'' Addison chuckled.

"Come on mom! We're gonna watch the fish!" Hailey jumped up and down while Derek got up from the grass.

''Yeah, yeah, yeah it's not going anywhere.''

Justin jumped up as well, hugging Hailey excitedly while Derek offered his hands for Addison, to help her up. Addison gladly took his hand and let her get pulled up. He wrapped his arms around her waist once she was up and pressed a kiss on her nose. She giggled lightly. He smiled at her sweetly. She pecked his lips. He pecked hers back quickly and then unwrapped his other arm, offering his hand for Justin. Justin took it and Addison did the same with Hailey. Derek placed few sloppy kisses on Addison's cheek, his hand resting on her hip, her hips swinging a little as she walked. Her arm was wrapped around his waist. He loved to be close to her, to feel her, to see her. She rested her head against his shoulder as they walked home. They stepped into the house and once again shrugged off their coats and Derek hung all of them.

A little while later the four of them were all d up on the living room couch watching Finding Nemo. They were all laughing at the funny clownfish Marlin, the scene where he went to school with Nemo the first time. Addison smiled down at her twins. Hailey was staring at the screen excitedly, holding her mother's hand tightly. Addison dropped a kiss on her hair. Hailey smiled. "Shhh I'm watching the fish."

She just kissed her cheek. Hailey moved further, focusing on the screen again. Addison looked back at the TV. Derek looked at his family, his son cuddled up against him. Addison's eyes started to fall shut. He smiled at the sight, it had been a pretty tiring day already, he gently linked his fingers with hers. Her eyes momentarily fluttered open again.

"You tired?" He whispered softly. She nodded her head, barely able to keep her eyes open. "You can go to bed if you want to." He replied. She shook her head this time. "You should if you're that tired." He mumbled, pulling Addison closer to him after moving Justin to his other side. ''I'll sleep...here.'' She mumbled, falling asleep as her head rested on his shoulder. "That's okay with me..." He whispered softly at her before she fell asleep. Her chest rose and fell deeply. He looked at the screen, finding himself enjoying this movie just as much as his kids were. The two children were watching it closely.


	20. Missing Home, Accents and taking a Walk

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 20 – Missing Home, Accents and taking a Walk_

Later that evening, Derek Shepherd walked into the living room with a glass of water for his wife and a bottle of beer for himself. ''Thanks.'' Addison gave him a grateful smile. "No problem." He sat on the couch next to her and placed both of the drinks on the table in front of the couch. She looked at him.

"So how do we start this talk?" He turned to face her, his arm moving onto the back of the couch so that if she wanted he could move closer to him.

''I don't know?''

"Yeah me neither really... umm do you want to talk about your dad or something? I know you miss him like crazy.."

''Yeah we could talk about that I guess.''

"Yeah, you want to start? I don't really know what to say about him."

''Uhm...well sometimes I have the feeling that you don't understand that I miss him so much and that I wanna go home so so badly.''

He nodded. "Well I don't actually know how you are really feeling, I've almost always had my family close to me. Everyone has been here with me. So yeah I don't always get it that you miss him so much, I'm sorry for that."

''Yeah and it's not just him, I also miss the house so much, my grandparents, my cousins, uncles and aunts. I miss the country, I miss the weather, the people, I even miss talking with an accent.''

"But you came NYC to study, you spent time with me, we fell in love. We got married and not once you said you might want to go back home? And about that accent... it's cute. You don't have to get all New York-girl for me. Be an Aussie if you want to. Addie just... I thought you liked it in New York, you could have said something."

''No I do love New York, I do I just miss being home, being myself.''

"So when you're in New York, you can't be you?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

''I'm an Aussie so no.''

"Okay then, you want to go back to Australia?"

''You mean permanent?''

"Permanent, I just need to know. Is there any chance you could be you in New York?"

''We live here.''

"Not what I asked."

''Then what did you ask?''

"Do you want to go back to Australia permanently? I'm not saying that I want to go, in fact I don't want to move from New York."

''I live here, I wish I could go back to Australia permanently but I won't.''

"Okay then." He nodded. "So what are we going to do about that?"

''What do you mean?''

"Do you want to visit more often? You know I can't really, I need to study, and lately I haven't been at school too much."

''I know.''

"Yeah, what do you want to do about it. I can't have you getting all distant on me when you miss him, when you miss home."

''Well I can't help missing home, you don't know what it's like.''

"No I don't know what it's like." He sighed at her response, reaching for his beer, just to take a sip, not to drink the whole bottle yet, he told himself.

''I came here to study, I came here for a few years to go to college here and get my medical degree and then I would go home, I would go home every single vacation and then I met you and I never went back permanently, I never was home for longer than two weeks, how do you think that feels?''

"I don't know Addison, I've always had my family close to me. We're different when it comes to this, you're from Australia, yeah I knew that when we went out on dates, yes I knew you loved your family when I proposed you. Yes I knew that the whole time but not even once you mentioned that you wanted to go home. Yeah we had very interesting phone calls when you were in Australia but you never said you wanted to stay." He took a sip of his beer.

''I was head over heels with you, I would've gone anywhere.''

He nodded. "Okay then. Do you want to go to Aus more often? Do you want them to visit here? Please Addison just talk to me." He took another sip.

''I don't feel like New York is my real home.''

"You don't feel like New York is your real home?" He repeated after her, shaking his head a little. "And why not?"

''Because Australia is, I don't feel at home here. When I'm in Australia I feel much more relaxed, much more comfortable.''

"Okay, this is just fucking awesome." He took another sip before placing the bottle back on the table.

''What??''

"This is isn't it, you want Australia, I want New York. Isn't this great?" He looked at her.

''Doesn't mean I'm going to live there.''

"Yeah but it means that you want to. You want to live with your family. Am I not enough? No, of course you love your family, I love mine too."

''Are you seriously asking me that Derek?! Shall I put you somewhere on the other side of the world for seven years and then see what you would do?!''

"Stop yelling!" He replied. "Stop, yelling." He had to repeat himself, taking her other hand in his, she wouldn't be able to pull it back. "Look I love you Addison, I love you like crazy. I'm in love with you. I just sometimes think you love your family even more than you love me. I don't like that feeling at all. So just... tell me if I'm wrong here."

''You can't make me choose. You're the love of my life so of course I love you different than my family.''

He shook his head and grabbed his beer. "Okay then."

''You don't understand it and you're not even trying to.''

"No I don't understand it Addison, not really." He looked into her eyes, taking a sip of his beer again. Addison sighed loudly. ''You see your mom at least every two days, you can see your family every second of the day.''

"I know that, you can't see your family, it makes you sad, makes you want to go back there." He nodded at his wife. "It might make sense." He finally admitted. "But I don't know what we can do about it."

''Me either...''

"I want you to be happy, you know that?" He softly touched her shoulder, the first touch of their bodies during the talk. "I don't want you to feel blue and be sad."

''I know.'' She said sadly.

"When you're sad... would you just ask for a hug instead of pushing me away?" He asked softly.

''It won't change anything.''

"I know it won't, you know it won't. But I don't want you to get absent."

''I just miss home so, so terribly much. I hate the people here.''

"They're rude." He agreed. "Bitches, hoes, sluts, arrogant asses." He mumbled.

''When I just moved here I got laughed at. They heard I'm not from here and acted like I was stupid, I changed my accent to this stupid New Yorker one and I hate it, I hate that I'm a New Yorker now. I'm not saying this to offend you but I hate it.''

He nodded, deep inside he knew she was right, his stomach twisted and he felt like more beer. "You can take a girl out of Australia but you can't take the Australia out of the girl. I didn't think you were stupid, I found that accent kind of sexy, I liked the fact that you were a cheery girl from the other side of the world. You didn't need to change."

''I did, I wasn't excepted here.''

He shrugged. "Okay then. You changed."

''I did.''

He took a sip of his beer. "Yeah."

''You need to try to understand me.''

"I really can't, but I can try to." He shrugged, looking at his wife. Marrying an Australian girl wasn't as easy as he thought after all.

''I wanna bet with you that if we're in Australia for two weeks you already miss home then.''

He didn't smile. "Of course I'll miss them, they're my family, they're a part of my life."

''I've been away for over seven years.''

"That's horrible, and sad." He replied, how in the world could he talk about this subject with her when he didn't even know what he was talking about.

''The last time we went there was when the twins were just born.''

"Yeah, that's true." He just decided to go with the flow.

''You don't understand it.''

"No I don't, I've already told you that a million times."

''This was never the life I planned, I want my children to grow up as Americans but also as Australians, I want them to know the slang, to be able to talk with the accent, to know the culture and their family and now they don't even know they have two grandpa's and grandma's.''

"Addison, they're not even three." Derek raised his eyebrows. "Sure you can talk to them with an accent, sure you can talk to them about this stuff but once again I have to remind you that I'm not Australian, I can't do that stuff at all so really it's up to you. And they were little when they met, sure they don't remember Addison." He sighed, shaking his head.

''By the time I married you I spoke in a New York accent, I knew everything a New Yorker knew but not once, not once have you ever looked into the culture of my country. I mean seriously, the only thing you ever looked into in Australia would be Crocodile Dundee on TV.''

He was taken aback. "So you want me to be Australian too, I don't know about your culture or anything, you never talked to me about this stuff, you never even once tried to talk to me about this. Fuck Addison, you could have said something. I know I should have asked you about this stuff I do know that. But still we live in New York. If you want to, you can talk to me about Australian stuff once we go there, tell me about that stuff, make me learn about your culture. I just think it's quite hard to do it here."

''How? How is it hard?!''

"Once again, you're yelling." He said calmly. "I think, that if I was there, saw the life there it'd be much easier."

''Yeah but we're never going there.'' She spat. He sighed at her and gently rubbed his forehead. "No we're not, I asked what we should do about that Addison. We can go there on holidays if you want to. Whatever is okay with you."

''I do.''

"Okay then."

''Yeah.'' She crossed her arms. He took back his arm and took a sip of his beer. "So what do you normally do, when you're in Australia?"

''What do you mean?''

"I'm just asking, what do you do there? Is there something you'd want to do here that I don't know about?"

''I'm not following you here.''

"Fine." He shrugged. "Forget it."

''No seriously, what do you mean?''

"Is there something that you do in Australia, that you would like to do here too?"

''Like?''

"I don't know, I'm asking you. Is there something you do? I don't know, a small prayer before food, whatever."

''Not really, I mean, talking with an accent maybe.''

"Talk in your accent if you want to, I find it charming, really." He smiled softly.

''I'd scare the shit out of the children.''

He chuckled. "You wouldn't sweetie."

''I would.'' She couldn't hold back a small smile.

"Try me. I bet it's not that bad." He softly nudged her.

''It would be weird to.''

"Nuh uh, just try me." He gave her another smile.

''Fine.'' She rolled her eyes playfully. He grinned, moving closer to her. "Now let's hear that accent of yours."

''I don't know what to say then!'' She changed her voice to her own accent. He tried not to laugh at her, it was weird to hear her talking like this again. "That's cute."

''You're laughing at me.''

"I'm not, it's just... you haven't talked in that accent in like forever." He spoke softly and pulled her close to him.

''I know.'' She went to lie against his chest. He softly began brushing her hair. "I could never talk like that, I bet it's hard."

''Well I grew up talking like that so it's more easier to me than the New Yorker one. You try it.''

He shook his head. "No way I could talk like you!" He tried the accent, failing miserably. Addison laughed loudly.

"Oh shut up!" He exclaimed, bringing her closer to him, talking in the same accent. "Not funny!"

''It so is!''

"It so is not!" He began tickling her.

''It so is!''

"Nuh uh!" He shook his head.

''You're such a New Yorker.''

"You're... you." He shrugged, tickling her harder, just below the ribs. "It's not nice to laugh at people, didn't your mum tell you that?" He tried the accent again, this time it did sound a little like an Australian one.

''No.'' She laughed. He let out a laugh, softly kissing her on the lips. "Shut up."

''Oh you want me to shut up now?'' She didn't change back to her American accent. He laughed against her lips. "Uhuh. I indeed do!" He kissed her again. She kissed him back. He smiled against her lips before bursting out in laughter.

''What?''

"I'm never speaking in that accent again." He simply said, a smile playing on his lips.

''Hmm but I am.''

"Uh uh... it sounds hot." He grinned before kissing her again.

''Hmm really?''

"Uh uh... it's like 'Grauh... grrr... take me right here and now.'"

She started laughing loudly at him. ''It is not!''

He laughed as well. "It kind of is. I could so imagine you saying naughty things with that accent."

''Hmm maybe I will.''

He grinned at her answer. "Really? Will you say grrrrrr?"

''Maybeeeee.''

"Say grrrrrrr."

''No.'' She smiled sweetly.

"Say grauh?" He blinked his eyes sweetly, softly tickling her.

''No.'' She took hold of his hands.

"Say OOOOH." He let out a small laugh, linking his fingers with hers. She rolled her eyes, letting out a moan for him. ''There, that didn't sound different.''

He grinned at her, kissing her softly. "Doesn't matter, still sounded hot."

''Hmm good.'' She gave him a kiss. ''Now we're on this topic, are we gonna talk about sex?''

"Sure, let's talk about sex." He shrugged. "What about it do you want to talk about?"

''I don't know, you start.''

"Ummm.... I think we have great sex." He said. "Wow, that sounded lame."

''Well let's talk about... things we do in bed...''

"The things we do in bed?" He tried hard not to laugh. "Uhm..."

''Yeah.''

"Um well... what do you like? In bed?"

''I like it when you go down on me...''

"I've noticed that." He grinned at her answer. She shrugged shyly.

"Well guess what? I think it's nice to do that." He mumbled against her hair.

''Yeah?''

"Yeah" He wrapped his arms tighter around her. "I love to do it to you."

''Why?''

"I don't know, it makes you feel good, and I kind of think you... taste good." He shrugged. Her eyes widened. ''Are you serious?''

He shrugged at her response. "Yeah."

''H--how?''

"I don't know." He shrugged again. "And don't be so shocked."

''I am.''

"I can hear that."

She raised her eyebrow.

"You sound shocked." He softly brushed her stomach.

''That's because I am.'' She smiled at his touch.

"And you're shocked because I think you taste good?"

''Yeah kinda...''

"Okay." He pressed a kiss on her hair. "Well I kinda get that you're shocked."

''You do?''

"Well kind of, I'd be shocked if you told me the same."

''That you taste good... down... there?''

"Ew don't talk about it." He shivered a little. She shrugged.

He screwed up his face. "So..."

''So?''

"This is slightly awkward."

''I agree.''

"Uhm so... do you still want to talk about sex?"

''I do, do you?''

"Kind of." He shrugged.

''So...''

"So... you like to be on top?"

''Oh yeah.''

He let out a small laugh. "Yeah?"

''Hmm I love it.''

"I love it too." He smiled softly.

''What's your favourite thing in bed?''

"I like it when you're on top really. Or when I'm on top and your legs are wrapped around my back tightly. I can't choose really. You?"

''Well being on top, when you go down on me, having sex against a wall, in the shower, the pool.''

He laughed at her softly. "I like shower-sex and remember our honeymoon? There was that Jacuzzi... it was great."

''That was amazing.''

"We should have a Jacuzzi."

''We can have great sex anywhere.''

"Yeah we sure can. Is there actually a place we haven't done it?" He tried hard to think about it.

''Hmm there must be.''

He tried to think about it again. "Exactly what? Floor, done, couch, done... rooftop? Yeah, that one we haven't done."

''Rooftop?'' She started laughing. He shrugged before letting out a laugh. "Well we haven't done it, have we?"

''No!''

He laughed at her. "Umm... we've pretty much done it everywhere."

''Well we've been together for a long time.''

"Yeah we have." He softly rubbed her stomach.

''Our baby.''

"Yeah... I hope SHE has your hair."

''You think it's a girl?''

"Yeah, I changed my mind about it." He replied. "It's our little girl."

''Hmm hopefully just one this time, twins run in your family.''

"Yeah they do." He let out a small laugh. "I can't wait for the ultrasound."

''Me either, I really hope everything's okay because...''

"Yeah... me too. It has to be okay." He softly rubbed her stomach.

''I'm scared that-- the baby it just... it feels like...'' She shook her head, not able to say it out loud.

"Sh..." He placed kisses on her shoulder. "It's going to be okay... it's not going to happen. I won't let it, it'll be great."

''Der?''

"Ads?" He asked

''I'm going to ask you a question and it's hard and I want you to be completely honest.''

"What is it?" He asked worried, concerned even.

''If uh-- if the baby...'' She sighed, closing her eyes. ''If it isn't going to be born... what are you going to do?''

"You mean... if... if you miscarriage?" He asked shocked, his tone was still full of worry, his eyes were wide open.

''I just need to know.'' She said barely audible.

"Are you... are you thinking I'm going to leave you?" He asked slightly hurt now.

''No, no. Derek no.'' She shook her head. ''That's not what I meant.''

"Then what is it? I'm really not following you here." He pulled her even closer to him.

''Would you want to try to conceive?''

"Would you want another baby then?"

''That's what I just asked you.''

"Yeah, I think I would want another baby but... you'd be sad then and I don't know." He softly brushed her stomach.

''Yeah?''

"Yeah, what about you?"

''I don't know...''

"Yeah... it'd be rough." He closed his eyes.

''I don't want to loose my baby...''

"I don't want to loose our baby either." He mumbled against her hair. "We won't, right?"

''God I hope not.''

"Yeah... I mean.. it's our baby." He pressed kisses on her hair.

''Yeah it is... as much as Hailey and Justin are...''

"I love you all so much." He whispered. Addison closed her eyes. He softly breathed her in, his eyes closed, just holding her tightly.

''If baby is born would you want another baby?''

"Only if you wanted another one, I don't want to pressure you into anything."

''But do you?''

"I don't know, I'd love to have more babies with you. But not for few more years anyway."

''Did you ever think about adopting?''

"Not really, you?" He spoke softly.

''Yeah sometimes...''

"You'd like to adopt?"

''There are a lot of children who need a loving home.''

He nodded at her. "It'd be a long process you know that right?"

''I know.''

He made a small smile. "You'd like to adopt."

''Yeah I don't know, maybe.''

"Not in few years anyway, right? When the kids are a bit older?"

''Yeah.''

"Yeah. Maybe..."

''We'll see.''

"Yeah." He smiled at her. "But it sounds nice indeed."

''Hmm.'' She smiled. He softly brushed her hair. "Okay then."

''I love you.''

"I love you too, so much." His lips hovered over hers.

''Is there something else you want to talk about?''

"Not really, I think we've talked about it all." He placed a kiss on her lips.

''Not about the trip to Australia.''

"Well yeah, we should plan a bit more." He pressed another kiss on her lips.

''It's gonna be hard if I have to go back to here...''

"Yeah it is, so what are you suggesting?"

''What do you mean?''

"I don't know." He shrugged. "It'll be hard though."

''Yeah it will...''

He hugged her. "We should rent an apartment there..."

''Yeah we should go look for one.''

"We could do that tomorrow." He pressed a kiss on her hair. "And oh, what did your dad say about us coming there?"

''He was excited I think.''

"That's great." He smiled. "I bet he's happy to see us again."

''Yeah I hope so...''

"What do you mean?"

''That I hope he's happy to see us.''

"Why wouldn't he?" He asked, he had always got along with Mr. Montgomery.

''I don't know.'' She shrugged. ''I hope he's not holding any grudge that I don't visit or call anymore.''

"I bet he doesn't, you're his daughter Addie, he's not that kinda man." He smiled at her concern.

''Yeah but he's also a proud Aussie.''

Derek shrugged. "He knows you have your own life now, and twins. You're kind of busy."

''He's my daddy.''

"Yeah, but he should understand that."

''Yeah well that's what I hope.''

"Yeah, me too."

''Maybe you should call him?''

"Your dad? Sure.."

''Thanks.''

"No problem, what should I talk to him about?"

''I don't know, whatever you want to.''

"Okay..." He shrugged. "I'll call him tomorrow then."

''Why not now?''

"Sure, let's call him now then." He shrugged.

''Hmm.'' She picked up the phone from the table. He took the phone from her and searched for the right number. Finally finding it, he pressed one button and put the phone to his ear.

''Montgomery.'' Caleb answered the phone after a few rings.

"Hi, this is Derek." He smiled to the phone.

''Derek, hi!''

"I hope I didn't interrupt anything?" He looked at the clock.

''No, no, just sitting out on the deck.''

"Okay, sounds like fun." He let out a small laugh. "I was just calling about the trip."

''Ah yes, the trip.''

"So... we're going to rent an apartment, we're gonna start looking soon. You know any good houses?"

''Yeah I will arrange something for you.''

"That'd be great, thanks."

''Welcome. How are things in New York?''

"Well things are... things are good." He didn't want to start telling about the kiss, about their almost divorce, about the distance between them, about how complicated things sometimes were.

''Good, good. How's my little girl?''

"Your little girl?" Derek grinned. Addison WAS NOT a little girl.

''Yeah how is she?''

"She's okay, though she was having some cramps earlier and we had to go see a doctor today..."

''What??'' Worry was immediately heard.

"Yeah the cramps were caused by stress..."

''Is she alright??''

"Yeah, she's okay now." Derek nodded.

''What about your baby?''

"The baby too, though Addison hasn't had any morning sickness yet."

''And what does that mean?''

"She had morning sickness with the twins, all the time, from the very beginning. We're a bit worried. But the doctor said everything seems normal."

''Yeah me too. Can I talk to my girl?''

"Yeah she's right here, wait a second." Derek gave the phone to Addison, pecking her lips softly. "He wants to talk to you."

''Oh.'' She smiled at him giving him a kiss. She held up the phone to her ear, nervous what her father would say about her changing her accent back since he was upset when she had dropped it at first. ''Hey daddy.''

"Hi sweetie, Derek told me, are you alright? Are you hurting?" He asked worried, running a hand through his hair.

''No I'm fine now.''

Then it hit him. "You have your accent."

''Uh ya..''

"It sounds good." He felt rather proud.

''Yeah? It doesn't bother you?''

"Why would it? You've had it as long as I can remember."

''Because I dropped it years ago..''

"Yeah you did, I wasn't too happy with that."

''Yeah I know, you made that quite clear...''

"Yeah... so why this sudden change?"

''I'm an Aussie, not a New Yorker.''

His father shrugged. "You changed Ads."

''What do you mean?'' She asked quietly.

"You became one of those New Yorkers"

''No...''

"It felt like that, you moved there, you even changed your accent, it was like you were ashamed of being an Aussie."

''I guess that at one point...I was.''

"Why? There's NOTHING to be ashamed of."

''You've never even been here so you can't judge.''

"I'm not judging you Addie, I'm just saying."

''No you're not.''

"I'm not?"

''No you judged me.''

"And how did I do that?"

''You got angry when I changed my accent.''

"Well you were an Aussie."

''So?''

"You're not supposed to change your accent."

''Says who?''

"Says me."

''You don't know what it's like here.''

"No I don't because you don't even call anymore."

''Like you ever do.''

"You have a busy life."

''How does that excuse you?!''

"Don't yell at me young lady!"

''I'm not a young lady and I can yell whenever I please to!''

Derek took a hold of her hand.

"No you don't!"

''Yes I do! How old do you think I am?!''

"You do not yell at your father!"

''I am, I am right now!''

"No you are not allowed to do that!"

''Oh so what are you gonna do, send me to my room?!''

"Oh god... don't be childish Addison." He sighed.

''No you are being childish!''

"I am not the one screaming on the phone."

''Fine then I won't call anymore.''

"I didn't mean that Addison."

''But I do.''

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have said those things." He apologized.

Addison kept quiet.

"I didn't mean to. I'm sorry okay?"

''Okay.''

"But hey, your mother is calling for me, I should go see what's going on."

''Yeah right, bye.''

"Bye cupcake, I'll call you back about the apartment."

''Yeah bye.''

Her father hung up. Derek softly brushed Addison's hand with his. Addison sighed and laid the phone back on the table.

"What was that about?" He made a small sad smile.

''I don't even know.''

"You need a hug?"

''Not right now please.''

He nodded at her, giving her hand a soft squeeze. She looked at the TV. He let out a small sigh, resting his head on top of hers. Addison looked annoyed. He placed a small kiss on the top of her head before pulling back. She crossed her legs.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

''No.''

"Okay then." He looked at the screen as well, taking his beer. She drank her water. He sipped his beer quietly, every now and then looking at her shortly. She played with her fingers.

"Are you going to avoid me now?"

''Uhm am I avoiding you?'' She raised her eyebrow.

"Well looks like it."

''I'm sitting right next to you, doesn't seem like avoiding to me.''

"Yeah, okay, you're not avoiding me." He took the last sip of his drink before getting up.

''Where are you going?''

"I'm gonna go to the bed, are you coming?"

''Talking about avoiding.'' She mumbled. ''No.''

"Okay, and why aren't you?" Perfect example of avoiding, he thought.

''Because I'm not tired.''

"Okay, you want me to stay with you?"

''Your choice.''

"Okay then, you need more water?" He asked, nodding towards her empty glass.

''I have legs.''

"Okay then." He sat on the couch.

''I thought you were going to bed.''

"You told me to choose, I did choose."

''Hmm okay.''

"Yeah, so... you wanna do something or just sit on the couch?"

''Do what?''

"I don't know, something."

''I'm gonna get the laptop.'' She got up.

"Uhm okay..." He looked at her, wondering what the hell was going on.

She went to get the laptop.

Few moments later she returned.

"So what are we going to do?"

''Look for an apartment.''

"Okay, sounds good." He replied.

''Yeah.'' She turned sat down and turned it on. He nodded and moved a bit closer so that he could also see the screen. The desktop showed a picture of them and their then new born twins. A smiled tugged at his lips, it always made his heart melt when he saw that specific picture. "I love that picture."

''They were three hours old there.''

"Yeah, you had just woken up when this picture was taken." He smiled.

''Yeah...'' She looked at the picture.

"So... what kind of a house are we looking for?"

''I have no idea.''

"Two bedrooms, kitchen, two bathrooms, living room?" He shrugged.

''I guess.''

"Yeah." He watched her open the browser.

''Where do I look?"

"I have no idea." He shrugged, looking at the screen. "Google it?"

''Ugh you look.''

He let out a small laugh, moving the laptop onto his lap, their hands touching lightly.

Addison laid back against the arm seat of the couch. He began typing, the expressions on his face changing every now and then, frustrated, full of hope, bored, interested. "I found something."

''Yeah?'' She asked uninterested.

"Okay, what do you think?" He clicked on the picture, showing it to Addison.

''Looks good.'' She shrugged. He sighed at her lack of a good response. "Kay."

''Is it free for when we're going?''

"Yeah, and it's not too pricy either." He mumbled after checking.

''Well that doesn't matter.''

"Yeah. Still." He shrugged.

''Shall we do this another time?''

"Sure." He sighed, simply closing the laptop.

''Thanks.'' She curled up her legs under her. He turned to look at her. "Still refusing to talk about it?"

''About what?''

"About you yelling at your dad?"

''I don't know why I did.'' She simply said, shrugging.

"Okay, just trying to make a conversation here." He shrugged as well, still looking at her.

''I just felt like yelling.''

"Okay, I guess everyone needs to yell from time to time."

Addison shrugged again.

"I love you Ads."

''Wanna have sex?''

"Excuse me?" He was taken aback.

''Wanna have sex?'' She repeated.

"You never ask that."

''Well I am now aren't I?''

"Yeah you are, but you shouldn't be asking. Not like that anyway. What's wrong Addison?"

''God then I won't ask anymore!'' She got up from the couch.

He sighed at her. "Addison come on! You know I didn't mean it like that!"

''I asked if you wanted sex and then you go all like, you shouldn't ask something like that, well then, I won't.''

"Look, you never ask if I want to have sex. God Addison, I want to have sex with you every second of the day. But you were being all distant with me and then suddenly ask if I want to have sex. Of course I'm surprised."

''Well that's not my problem.''

"I think I'm going to bed." He got up from the couch, he did not want to argue with her now, or have sex.

''Oh then don't think you'll get any this month!''

His eyes widened. "Excuse me?!"

''You won't get any sex at all this month.''

"And why the hell am I not getting sex? What the fuck did I do??"

''I want to have sex and you're going to bed!''

"Fine! You want to have sex?? Let's have sex then. I just don't want us to be pissed at each other while having sex!"

''I don't even want to have sex with you anymore now!''

"Fine then! God Addison, what the fuck is wrong with you?? Would you just tell me?!"

''No what the fuck is wrong with YOU?!''

"ME?! Nothing's wrong with me! You're the one getting distant here!"

''I am not distant!''

"You were sitting on the opposite side of the couch, not talking to me properly!"

''Well excuse me for not wanting to be touched!''

"You don't want to be touched but you want to have sex?! Oh that makes so much sense!"

''Yes, actually it does!''

"Well no it doesn't to me! Sex is about loving and touching! Oh dear god Addison!"

''What?!''

"Fuck it! Seriously! Sorry for not wanting to have sex with a person that is avoiding me!"

''I'm not avoiding you and I just want sex! I don't want to make love to night I want sex!''

"I don't want to have sex when we're pissed! NO! Simple, I don't want that!" He shook his head, obviously angry at her.

''Well fine then I'll buy a fucking vibrator! At least that one won't bitch and moan at me!''

"Oh just fucking mature Addison! Buy a fucking vibrator, I don't fucking care! I do not care!" Lie, lie, lie after lie.

''Oh thank god because then I'll finally get some good sex!''

"Oh that's just fucking crossing the line here! Fuck you Addison!" He yelled.

''Well not by you!''

"You wanna fuck?! I don't get you Addison, really! I do not get you at all!"

''Well then, your problem!''

He looked at her, no words were left to say. Her chest moved up and down in a quick heavy pace as her heart pounded with anger. ''I'm going back to Australia and never ever am I going back to this fucking hell hole!''

"FINE BY ME! Have a good life with your vibrator and your stupid accent! At least now I get to go to Nicole!!" He didn't mean any of this, he just wanted to hurt her as badly as she had hurt him. Her mouth fell open widely. ''You fucking son of a bitch! GET OUT!''

"NO! I'm fucking not getting out of MY house!" He replied, his eyes deep shade of blue, which they always were when he was angry.

''GET OUT NOW!!''

"I AM NOT GETTING OUT!" He yelled back.

''GO TO YOUR FUCKING GIRLFRIEND!'' Finally she couldn't hold back the tears anymore. He looked at her break down. "Maybe I will! At least she's not fucking yelling at me in the middle of the night!"

She put her hand over her face and winced, walking away from him. His eyes widened and he slowly started realizing. Oh... dear... god. She started hyperventilating as tears flooded over her face. He walked behind her, knowing this wasn't good. "Addison!" She bent over, her hands finding support on her legs. He walked closer to her, bringing her close to his chest even if she didn't want it.

''No!'' She pushed him away hard.

"NO! I don't fucking care if you don't want this but I am going to make you calm down." He replied, just hugging her closer.

''You slept with her!''

"I didn't sleep with her!"

''You said. she was. your girlfriend!''

"She's not my girlfriend, she's a slut Addison."

She shook her head, trying to get her normal breathing rhythm back.

"Slow, deep breaths..." He mumbled. "Shh... we'll talk about this later."

''Don't talk to me.''

"No I will talk to you. And you will listen to me." He replied, not caring about her comment.

''No, I'm done with listening to you.''

"Why are you? You fucking yelled at me, I yelled back."

''Don't talk to me.''

"You told me this was a hellhole."

''Yeah and apparently it is to you as well. 'At least now I get to go to Nicole' well, go then, go.''

"It's not a hell hole to me, apparently it is to you. You said it first. I don't want Nicole, really Addison. Why would I be with you if I wanted her?"

''I don't care, me and my stupid accent are leaving.''

"Don't." He said simply, how the fuck could the two of them always mess up?

''I am not staying here.''

"We made a promise."

''What promise?''

"Not to go to bed angry, you were one that proposed it. You can't break it."

''I'm not going to bed here anymore.'' Was her answer.

"You are. You're not leaving."

''I am, you can't make me stay.''

"So you're just going to quit?"

''I'm going home.''

"You're not doing that. You're not leaving."

''You can't make me.''

"I can. And I will if I have to. You're not going to leave." He tired to control the tears that began to fall.

''What? Are you going to lock me in the house?''

"You can't leave Addison, you can't just leave me."

''And why not?''

"Because you can't, because. Addison, no, you can't do it."

''I can and I will.''

"No, you can't do that to me."

She snorted.

"Addison please, I didn't sleep with her, it was just a kiss. I just said that to hurt you."

''Yeah, that's the whole point.''

"I didn't sleep with her Addison."

''You want to hurt me, congratulations, mission completed.''

"I don't want to hurt you, you fucking hurt me too. Just when I think things are okay, you're absent. Think about it a little."

''I wasn't being absent.'' She cried. By now tears were rolling down his cheeks and he pulled her even closer. "Please don't go."

''I don't wanna stay anymore.'' She sobbed.

"I need you to stay." He whispered, closing his eyes.

''Why?''

"I love you, I need you."

She bit on her cheeks.

"Please don't." He whispered.

''I can't do this anymore.'' She wiped away the tears that kept falling.

"Addison please, don't go. I need you here." He bit on his lip, still holding her as close as he could.

''Why?''

"You're the love of my life, you're my wife, I need you, you're my best friend, I can't lose you Addison."

''Then why did you say that to me?'' Hurt was evident in her voice.

"I don't know, I needed to hurt you back."

''Why?''

"I don't think this is a hellhole at all, it... you shouldn't have said, I shouldn't have said what I said."

''I don't either I love our family but this is nothing like where I come from.''

"I'm sorry Addison, I don't know what to do."

''What do you mean?''

"I shouldn't have said those things, I don't want you to be unhappy here, but I need you."

She looked at the floor, not knowing what to say.

"I want us to be happy, together."

''I want that too...''

"Why aren't we?" He asked, his voice hoarse.

''I don't know...''

"Me neither..." He shook his head. "You're not going, right? You can't, please don't. Addison, are you? Please don't. I don't know what to do without you. Please."

''I don't know.''

"Please Addison." He softly loosened his grip of her.

''What?''

"Please stay." He brushed away her tears.

''Why?''

"I'm in love with you. Addison, I love you so much."

''You have a great way of showing it, really.''

"I know what I did was wrong. I'm sorry about all that. Please."

''Please what?''

"Please, would you find a some way to forgive me?"

''You said my accent is stupid.''

"It's not. I don't think that at all." Why did he even say that stuff?

''Right.''

"Addison, I didn't mean the stuff I said. I don't know why I told you that."

''Because you meant it.''

"I didn't, I think it's a perfect bedroom-voice, it's not stupid."

Addison rolled her eyes. ''Yeah of course, that's why you said it.''

"Hey, you said our sex was bad. Guess how that feels."

''I didn't say our sex is bad.''

"You said that you'd finally get some good sex, from a vibrator Addison, a vibrator."

''Yes?''

"That's you saying our sex is bad."

''I didn't say that.''

"You did." He shook his head at her.

''No I didn't.''

"Oh yes you did, or I'm just not following you here at all."

''I said that because I was angry you turned me down for sex and then you said you wouldn't care if I would buy a vibrator.''

"Well I was angry at you too, a lot. So you didn't really mean what you said?"

''Mean what what I said?''

"About the sex."

''What about it?''

"You don't really think it's bad?" He gently rubbed his forehead, he was tired of this constant fighting.

''I didn't say it was bad.''

"Okay then, and well, I said a lot of stuff, only because I was angry."

''Okay...''

"I'm sorry."

''Okay.''

"Really, Addison. I'm sorry."

''I said okay.''

"Good." He slowly unwrapped his arms from around her.

''Yeah...''

He placed a tender kiss on her forehead. "How are you feeling?"

''Fine.''

He nodded. "You should probably get some sleep."

''Why?''

"It's been a long day."

''So?''

"You must be a little tired."

''I know when I need to go to bed Derek.''

"Okay. I'm just saying." He nodded.

''Don't.''

"Fine, I won't." He rose up his hands.

''Good.''

"Yeah I guess it is."

''Yeah...''

"I don't know what to say." He said honestly.

''Yeah me either.''

"Uhm... yeah." He shifted.

''So, you wanted to go to bed.''

"I don't have to. What do you think we should do?" He asked.

''Whatever you want to.''

"What about you? What do you want to do?"

''I don't know.''

"Me neither, you hungry? You need something to drink? You want something?"

''If I do I'll get it myself.''

"I just don't want you to starve okay?"

''Jesus Derek how old do you think I am?''

"Hey I'm just taking care of you, no need to get snappy."

''I don't need anyone to take care of me.''

"Fine, then I won't bother."

''Good, don't.''

"I won't." He sighed at her before walking towards the couch. Addison stood where she was. Derek simply looked at her, her mascara was smudged and her cheeks were slightly flushed.

''Why won't you have sex with me?''

"I'd want to have sex with you, oh believe me, I would have sex with you."

''But you don't.''

"You seemed like you were upset, so no I didn't feel very comfortable with having sex."

''Why not?''

"Because it seemed like you were upset."

''So?''

"I didn't think it would have been such a good idea."

She sighed and crossed her arms. He sighed as well. "Sorry."

''For what?''

"For starting a fight I guess."

''Okay.''

"Yeah."

''I think I'm gonna take a walk outside.''

"Can I come with you?"

''If you want to...''

"Yeah... I want to."

''We have to take the baby phone then.''

"That's okay." He slowly got up from the couch. "Shame we can't go jogging. It used to be fun."

''Yeah I know.'' She got the baby phone.

He walked into the hallway, taking his coat, putting it on quickly. She followed him and put hers on as well.

"You ready?" He asked softly, grabbing his keys from the table, sliding them into the pocket of his coat.

''Mhm.''

"Wait." He walked closer to her, softly wiping away the mascara from her cheeks.

''Oh... thanks.''

"No problem, not at all." He made a small smile. She gave him one back. He nodded towards the door, starting to walk towards it. She zipped up her coat. He left his coat open and opened the front door. She zipped his coat up before walking outside. "Thanks." He made a sincere smile, closing the door behind them. She put her hands inside her pockets, closing her eyes as she breathed in the night air.

"It's dark." He pointed out the obvious, walking next to her, his hands going into his pockets as well.

''Yeah it usually is in the night.''

A small chuckle escaped. "Yeah, true."

She looked at the full moon.

"You wanna walk to the park?" He asked, looking at the moon as well.

''Aren't there creepy people at night?''

"I don't know, you have anything in mind?"

''Not really, I just needed some fresh air.''

"Yeah... maybe we should just walk somewhere, where our feet lead us?"

''Yeah.'' She nodded, sometimes taking a quick glance at him. He looked down to the ground when they walked silently, slowly removing his hand from his pocket. Addison looked at the pavement as well.

"Is the baby phone on?" He asked, trying to start a conversation.

''Yeah of course.''

"Good, just checking."

Addison nodded, not sure what to say.

"It's a little cold, isn't it?" He put his hand back to his pocket.

''Yeah it's pretty chilly.''

"Good that we took coats." Wow, talking about weather, what a great subject Derek.

''Erhm yeah...''

"This is a boring subject."

''Yeah it kinda is...'' Things felt so awkward between them.

"Is there anything you want to talk about..?" He just wanted things back the way they were.

''I really don't know what.''

"Yeah me neither, there must be something to talk about."

''Would you really not care if I would use a vibrator instead of having sex with you?'' God she hoped he would care.

"Of course I would care, I don't want you to have a vibrator, really. I like to have sex with you, I love to have sex with you. Of course I'd care about it. And for the record, you are NEVER buying one. Never."

''Oh really?'' She couldn't help but chuckle.

"Oh yes, never." He nudged her softly, small laugh leaving his lips.

''And what if I would?'' She walked closer to him so their arms occasionally touched.

"Ah, you wouldn't want to try me on this one Addison." He grinned. "You'd be a bad girl then."

''Well what would you do then?''

"I don't know, I don't know." He made a clicking noise with his tongue. "Bad girl have to be punished, don't they?"

''Hmm they do.''

"Uhuh... so if you'd be a bad girl, I'd have to punish you." He cautiously wrapped his other arm around her waist.

''How would you?'' She leaned into his body.

"I don't know... I don't know..." He pretended to think about it. She lifted her head up to look at him. He looked into her eyes, giving her a smile.

''So what would you do?'' She gave him a soft smile.

"Let's say that I might have to give that nice butt of yours few slaps."

''You'd spank me?'' She chuckled. He let out a laugh. "Maybe."

''You wouldn't.''

"You're right, I wouldn't slap that pretty butt of yours."

''Good.'' She smiled.

He placed a small kiss on her forehead. "Yeah."

She gave his butt a small squeeze. He jumped slightly before a chuckle left his lips. She smiled, her head rested against his chest. He placed a kiss on the top of her head as they walked past a school. She held his hand in both of hers. He smiled at her widely, giving her hand a soft squeeze. She brought up his hand and gave it a kiss. His other hand brought up her chin and he gave her a kiss on the lips. She closed her eyes. His eyes fluttered closed as he gently kissed her. She softly kissed him back. He began brushing her hair while he carried on kissing her. She moved her hand to the back of his head. Only thing that mattered to him at that moment was his lips against hers. She traced her tongue over his lips. A small moan passed his lips and he opened his mouth slightly. She pushed her tongue into his mouth. He rubbed his tongue against hers, causing another moan to leave his lips. She massaged his tongue. He brought his hand to her hip, pulling her a bit closer. Both hands were placed on his cheeks. He let his hand wander up and down her back, his tongue fighting with hers. She pulled him closer. He didn't want to pull back, ever, he wished that someway he could glue their lips together. Their bodies were now up against each other. He let his hands move onto her ass, grabbing it softly. She moved her hips into his. A moan left his lips. "You know we're public, right?"

''Mhm why?''

"Because you've moving... your hips against mine." He mumbled against her lips.

''So?''

"So... that makes me veeeeeeeery turned on."

''Hmm.'' She smiled. He pressed his lips against hers again. She kissed him. He moaned softly into the kiss.

''Do you wanna go home?''

"I'd like that idea." He grinned at her.

''Hmm I bet.'' She looked at his crotch.

"Oh shut up, it's your fault really." He pecked her lips.

''I didn't do anything.''

"You moved your hips against mine and look so damn attractive." He shrugged. She smiled at him. He pecked her lips again, softly brushing her back. "Let's go home."

''Hmhmm.'' She smiled, pulling back. He smiled as well, and they made their way home. They held each other close. Some time later he was searching for his keys, his other arm still around her. She waited patiently. He opened the front door and waited for her to step in first, like a gentleman. She smiled grateful at him and walked inside.

He followed right after her, a smile decorating his face as well.

''I'm gonna take a quick peek at the kids okay?''

"Yeah, give them a good night kiss from me." He pressed a kiss on her forehead, unzipping her coat.

''I will.'' She smiled at shook her coat off further. He took the coat from her, hanging it.

She went upstairs. Derek took off his coat and walked into the living room while she walked into their kids' bedroom. She slowly walked inside, making sure not to make a sound. Hailey was curled up in a ball, her arms around her legs, laying on her side. Addison sat down on the bed, stroking the hair out of her daughter's face. She stubbornly shook her head and the red curly hair was on her face again. She chuckled softly and stroked the hair back again. The little girl gave a little sigh in her sleep. Addison gave her a kiss. Hailey screwed up her face. ''I love you Bug.'' She whispered. The girl moved on the bed, rolling onto her back. Addison gave her one more kiss and got up. Her son was laying on his stomach, his arms and legs pointing at every possible direction. He took the whole space the bed had to offer, this was one of those things where the twins were different. She smiled softly to herself as she watched him, scooting down next to his bed. The boy's mouth was hanging slightly open and he was making noises, his hand grabbing the pillow. Addison ran her hand through his black curls. A smile tugged at his lips and he hugged his pillow. ''I love you Jussie.'' He rubbed his face in his sleep. She gave him a kiss. He pouted his lips together. Addison chuckled softly. The boy moved onto his back, his hands resting on his stomach. ''Sweet dreams baby.'' He tapped his belly, turning his head towards the wall. She got up and gave him one more kiss. He wrapped his arms around himself. She pulled his blanket up and walked back to Hailey. Hailey was still in the same position. ''Sweet dreams little one.'' Hailey gave a little sigh, hugging the blanket close to her. She wrapped the blanket around her daughter's body. Hailey smiled in her sleep. ''Good night sweeties.'' She whispered, leaving the room. Both of the kids stayed asleep, dreaming about flowers and bunnies like good two-year-olds did.

Addison walked into the bathroom. She looked into the mirror, staring at her makeup less face. She sighed and threw some water in her face from the sink. She was wondering how Derek could say that she was attractive when she wasn't even wearing makeup. Another sigh passed her lips. She ran her hand through her hair. She turned her head to the side, just simply looking at herself. She stepped back a little and took off her shirt, looking at her body. She looked at her breasts, bringing her hands on them, pushing them together so that they looked fuller. They definitely looked better that way. ''Great now I have saggy boobs as well.'' She mumbled to herself. "I have saggy boobs and fat thighs. Amazing." She unzipped her jeans and pushed them off her hips. She pushed them onto the ground, looking into the mirror as she grabbed her glasses, putting them on. She stroked some hair off her face, staring at the mirror, did she really look like this? ''Fuck.'' She said out loud, looking at her butt. She gave it a slap, screwing up her face. "Why the hell does he like my body?" She took of her bra, running her hand over her stomach, sucking it in. ''No wonder he didn't want to do it with me.''

Not a second later Derek stepped into the bathroom, not even realizing what was going on. ''Fat fat fat.'' She said repulsively through gritted teeth. He looked at her, shocked expression on his face. "What are you doing?" She looked at him shocked. "You did not just call yourself fat." His eyes widened as he realized what she was doing. She looked at him, her mouth open, what was she gonna say?!

"What the hell Addison?" He asked, looking at her body before returning his gaze to her face.

''What?'' She covered up her breasts.

"What are you doing?" He furrowed his eyebrows together.

''Nothing.''

"That does not look like nothing."

''I'm not asking what you are doing in the bathroom either.''

"That does not make sense, I live here, I'm not allowed to use our bathroom?" He raised his eyebrows slightly.

''That's not what I meant.''

"I know it isn't. Addison, why did you call yourself fat?"

''Because I am.'' Tears formed in her eyes.

"Shh, you're not fat." He moved closer to her.

''I am, I'm huge.''

"You're not huge." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, bringing her in front of the mirror. "Look... this is your stomach, which I think is not huge at all." He gently rubbed it with his other hand.

She pinched her skin between her fingers. ''Here look, this is all fat.''

"No, I don't think so." He took her hand in his.

''That's a lie.''

"No it's not a lie, why would I lie? I think you look breath taking."

''My breasts are hanging.''

He shook his head, moving his hands upwards to her breasts, cupping them. "I think your breasts are nice, big, round, very likable and certainly not hanging."

''They are, ever since I started breast feeding.''

He shook his head again. "I don't think they're hanging, I think they're very pretty."

''I look like a forty year old.''

"You do not look like a forty year old, for god's sake Addison you look like a healthy twenty year old." He placed a kiss on her shoulder. "Your skin is soft, your legs are long, your butt is nice and firm, you have great breasts and I love your hair. I think that's a great package."

''My thighs are huge, my stomach is fat and I have stretch marks, my ass is two sizes the normal size and my breasts are saggy, the is nothing great in this package.''

"I don't think that's the truth Addison. You can't see it yourself but I think that your thighs are just the perfect size. Your stomach is great, it's not fat. Your breasts have NOTHING wrong with them, believe me."

''There is.''

"No there is not, I can't see anything wrong with them." He kept his hands on her breasts.

''I should have a boob job.''

"Are you kidding me? You're not having a boob job Addison."

''Why not?''

"Because you don't need one." He sighed at her.

''I do and I want one.''

"You're not having one. I'm saying no. You're not going to have a boob job."

''They're my boobs.''

"I'm the one touching them and I'm your husband. Your boobs are amazing."

''I don't agree.''

He sighed. "Look, you don't need a boob job."

''I want a boob job.''

"Seriously Addison, no. You're not going to have a boob job."

''Why not?''

"Because you really don't need one. Stop being so insecure."

''It are my boobs, it's my body.''

"You don't need a boob job Addison, what makes you even think about that? I adore your body just the way it is."

''Because I'm ugly.''

"You are not ugly, have you ever looked into the mirror?? You're a gorgeous woman."

''I'm not.'' She shook her head. ''I don't think so, I don't feel like that.''

"I think so, I think you look amazing, I can feel my heart doing a little jump when I see you."

Addison looked at him through the mirror. ''Really?''

"Really. It's a nice warm feeling." He looked into her eyes through the mirror.

''How can you think I'm pretty?''

"Because you are, I love your body, I adore every single one of your curves."

''How?''

He made a smile. "You're beautiful, who wouldn't adore you? I swear to god you could have any guy from this planet." He placed a small kiss on her neck.

''I wouldn't, I still don't know why you're with me.''

He softly smiled. "Because you're you, intelligent, beautiful woman. The person I love."

''But my boobs are saggy.''

"Your boobs are not saggy." He held them in his hands. "I'm holding them at the moment and I know they are not saggy."

''Well you're holding them up so they don't hang.''

He shook his head at her response. "They don't hang Addison, they're pretty breasts that don't hang."

''What cup size do you think I have?''

"I don't know, I've never thought about it."

''See, you're my husband, we have two children and you never think about your wife's breasts. Great, just great.''

He rolled his eyes. "I didn't mean it that way, I just don't know what size your breasts are. I think they're big, I love them. I don't need to know their size to love them."

Addison shrugged.

"What size are your breasts then?"

''75C.''

"Okay." He nodded. She shrugged.

"I still think they're big." He shrugged.

''Do you mean that?''

"Yes I do." He nodded.

''Wouldn't you like them bigger?''

"Not really. I love them this way."

''Thank you.''

"Always." He smiled softly.

''Can I have my boobs back now?''

"Not really." He pouted.

''Der.'' She rolled her eyes.

"Fine." He slowly removed his hands. "Bye bye boobs, see you soon."

She bent down and picked up her bra. He kneeled down in front of her, bringing up her jeans.

''Thanks.'' She chuckled. He grinned up to her. "No problem."

She pulled her shirt back on. He did the button of her jeans and pulled up the zipper before getting up.

''Hmm thanks.''

"It's okay." He pecked her lips. She pulled him into a hug. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, pressing kisses on her hair softly.

''I'm sorry that you have to go through this.''

He nodded. "Yeah, me too. I'm sorry that you have to go through this, but Addison, I'm here with you."

''I'm sorry.''

"I know." He softly brushed her hair.

''I don't know why I can't just be normal.''

"You're amazing Addison."

''I'm not.''

"I think you are."

''I'm the one who is putting us through all this shit.''

"I started it, it's all my fault."

''How?''

"With the... with the kiss, with being all absent."

''Oh...''

He placed a kiss on her forehead. "I'm sorry for all that."

''So am I.''

Slowly he pulled back from the hug. "Wanna go to bed now?"

''Yeah I do.''

He offered his hand for her. She gladly took it. They walked out of the bathroom and into their bedroom. She began to change in her pyjama's. He took off his shirt, giving her body a quick glance that turned out to be much more than quick. She crawled under the sheets. Few moments later he joined her, wearing his pyjama bottoms. She moved close to him. He pulled her closer that she partly lying on top of him, he wrapped his arms around her middle, holding her. She closed her eyes, her arms around his torso.

"We should have sex tomorrow." He drew circles on her back.

''Hmm.''

He pressed a kiss on the top of her head. "Good night." He turned off the lights.

''Night.'' She mumbled.

"Sweet dreams."

''You too.''

"I love you so much." He whispered into the darkness, Addison feeling warm against his chest.

''I love you too Der.''

"Hmm." He closed his eyes, protecting her. It was a matter of seconds before she was fast asleep. He smiled once he heard her breathing becoming deeper, he knew she was asleep. He slowly let himself drift of to the dreamland.


	21. Finger painting, Showers and Teletubbies

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 21 - _

About a week later the four of them were sitting in the living room on the floor. There was a big white paper, and some stuff for finger painting. Derek was laying on his stomach, dipping his index finger into the yellow one. "I'm going to make a sun."

''I wanna make our family!'' Hailey said excitedly.

"That's a great plan honey!" Derek smiled widely, starting to pain his sun.

"I want to make our house then!" Justin grinned, dipping his whole hand into the blue paint.

''Hmm what can I make?''

"You can make a pony!" Hailey giggled, starting to paint with the red.

''A pony?''

She nodded excitedly. "Daddy can I have a pony?"

Addison chuckled.

"Maybe when you're a bit older, ask me again later." Derek laughed softly.

''But daddy why?'' She pouted.

"You're still a little girl, you couldn't even ride one just yet. Ask me later, okay?" He smiled, reaching for the red colour.

''When is later?''

"In a few years, kay?"

''How many?''

"Ask me again when you're 5." He showed her five fingers, one was covered in yellow paint, and one with red paint.

''That's long!''

"That's not long." He chuckled at his daughter, starting to paint a flower.

''It is!'' She started painting as well.

"Okay then, what ever you say." He said softly, looking at his wife's direction. Addison was busy with the pony.

"Adds?" Derek asked. "What colour is the pony gonna be?"

''Uhm...green?''

"Ponies aren't green." He grinned, carrying on painting his red flower, the stalk of the plant was also red.

''But I like the green.''

"Mommy?" Justin asked, screwing up his face.

''Yeah honey?''

"Why are you talking in a funny way?"

''I'm talking in a funny way?'' Addison chuckled. The boy nodded. "It's like this." He tried to say it like his mother. "I'm talking in a funny way."

Addison laughed at him. ''Well in the country where I come from people talk like this.''

"Why do they? That's weird." Justin asked.

"I wanna talk like mommy." Hailey told his father who gave her a wide smile. She chuckled at her children. Hailey started mumbling to herself. "Mommy how do your people say I love you?"

''They just say I love you.''

"Oh... weird." Hailey shrugged and muttered under her breath. "What about pony? How do they say pony?"

''Pony.''

"Pony?" She screwed up her face in a thought. "I thought this was more fun."

''They talk English silly head.''

"I'm not silly." Hailey grinned at her mother.

''Hmm you're my little silly gal.''

"What does gal mean?" She asked in a thought.

''Girl sweetie.''

"Ooooh. Nice..." Hailey nodded, looking at her painting before her gaze turned to her mother and she painted some red on the paper, near by Justin's blue house.

''Don't paint on my house Hails!''

"It's not on your house!" Hailey looked at him shocked, taking back her hand.

''It's almost!''

"Thank you for warning Jussie! I'll never do it again!" She said cheerily. Justin smiled widely to himself. Hailey began to paint on another spot, a little bit further from the blue house. "Lalala... Mommy's reddy hair..."

''You have red hair as well.'' Addison pointed out as she continued painting the pony.

Hailey nodded proudly and her curls bounced. "I know that mommy."

"What colour does Jussie have?" Derek asked softly.

"Black like daddy." He answered.

''And grey.'' Addison mumbled.

''Yeah!''

Derek looked at her shocked. "I DO NOT HAVE GREY!"

''What? Who said that?'' She asked innocently. Derek moved closer to her, dipping one finger into green paint. He made a green dot on the tip of her nose. "You said!"

''Did you just put finger paint on me?'' She looked at him shocked. He raised his eyebrows, grinning. "I might have."

She put her fingers in the blue paint and ran them through his hair. ''There, now you don't see the grey hairs anymore.'' She said triumphal. He looked shocked. "You did not just do that! I do not have grey hairs!" He moved them so that he was over her. He painted a heart on her cheek. The kids giggled loudly at them.

''Stop drawing on me!''

"You started it!" Derek exclaimed, pressing a small kiss on her lips.

''Erhm no you did, you put paint on my nose remember?'' She looked into his eyes as Hailey climbed on top of them, sitting on Derek's back.

"Ouccch." Derek smiled widely, pressing another small kiss on Addison's lips as Justin ran towards them, sitting on Addison's legs.

''Why is everyone sitting on ME?'' Addison laughed out.

"I didn't start it." Derek laughed innocently, drawing a star on Addison's forehead with yellow.

''Derek!''

He laughed softly. "Oh c'mon I have blue hair!"

''I have paint on my nose, my cheek and my forehead!''

"You look se... good like that!" He grinned, resting his hands on each side of her face.

''You're mean.'' She pouted.

''Daddy is a horsey!'' Hailey giggled, holding onto Derek's shirt, covering it in finger paint.

"My shirt!" Derek laughed, turning his head so that he was looking at his daughter.

''What?'' Hailey looked at him scared. Derek smiled at her widely, it could be washed. "Nothing Buggie." He turned to look at Addison. Hailey wrapped her arms around his neck. Derek chuckled, pressing a kiss on her hand before he lowered himself so that he could kiss Addison again. "I do not have grey hair."

''You so do.''

"I so do not, it's blue, can't you see?" He raised his eyebrows, faking surprised.

''Well it is now.''

He rolled his eyes at her. "My hair is not grey." He stuck out his tongue.

''It so is.'' She grinned at him.

"Well then you hair is... red!" He stuck his hand into the red paint.

''Derek don't you dare.''

"Don't I dare what?" He grinned, starting to draw small hearts on her neck, on her collarbone, everywhere.

''Derek!'' She whined.

"They suit you." He pressed a kiss on her lips, writing ILY on her other cheek.

''Don't you dare getting any in my hair or on my clothes.''

Just then he silenced her with a kiss. "I wouldn't do such thing Mrs. HeartFace."

''Old man. Justin what are you doing with my legs?''

"I drew a fish!" He exclaimed loudly, making Derek laugh.

"He drew a fish." Derek stuck out his tongue, carrying on painting on her skin.

''People, stop painting on me!''

"Nuh uh, who's stronger, huh? Huh?" Derek pecked her lips softly, painting a large heart on her forehead.

''Seriously this is unfair.''

"So?" Derek grinned, slowly moving off of her, Hailey still on his back, Justin still on Addison's legs, painting something that resembled a cat.

''Jussie.''

"What?" He asked innocently, making the whiskers.

''Don't paint on me.''

"Why not?" His mouth was in the perfect shape of 'O'.

''Because mommy doesn't want to have paint all over her.''

"Oh..." Justin said sadly and then moved towards the paper, starting to paint a dog. Addison kissed the top of the little boy's head. Justin smiled widely as Hailey moved to the paper as well. "Mommy do we have grey paint? I have to draw daddy too!"

Addison started to laugh loudly. Derek's face fell. "I DO NOT HAVE GREY HAIR!" He pouted.

''You do!'' Hailey said.

"No I don't!" Derek looked shocked. "My hair is not grey! They're highlights caused by the sun!"

''Your hair is completely black, how can you have high lights?'' Addison teased.

"You suck!" Derek placed his hand, covered in red paint, on the top of her head.

''DEREK!'' She yelled.

"Addie." He stuck out his tongue, moving further from her.

''Seriously did you just do that?''

"Let's see..." He tilted his head to the side, looking at her hair. "I think I did."

''You're paying for the salon.''

"Fine." He rolled his eyes. "It'll leave in the shower."

''I don't care, you're paying.''

"Fine I'm paying it all." He rolled his eyes again.

''Good.'' She grinned. ''Do you think I should dye my hair once?''

"No, I don't think so. Red looks great on you." He said honestly, running a hand through his own hair without even realising it.

''Maybe brown, or blonde.''

"Nah, not blonde, not brown, I think red looks best."

''You've never seen me with anything different.''

"And that is a problem because..." He raised his eyebrows, starting to paint again.

''I don't know.'' She shrugged. ''Or cut it maybe.'' She looked at her red curls that reached her waist.

"Cut it?" His eyes widened, looking at her like she was out of her mind. "Why? It's nice and long."

''I've had it like this for years.''

"It's beautiful like that, if I was you, I would NEVER cut it."

''Why not?''

"Because it looks beautiful like that." He shrugged.

''Yeah?''

"Yeah, I wouldn't change it if I were you."

''Hmmm.''

"But again, it's not my decision, just my opinion."

''We'll see then.''

"Just so you know, I love it like that."

''Wouldn't you like something different?''

"Not really." He shook his head as in answer.

''Really?''

"Really, I think it looks... hot." He whispered. Addison smiled at him.

"Kiss your blue haired husband?" He blinked him eyes, a smile tugging at his lips. She rolled her eyes jokingly, quickly pecking his lips. He pecked her lips back. "This better come off in the shower."

''Yeah it better.''

He laughed. "What you don't like my blue hair?"

''Well it's better then the grey.''

Derek rolled his eyes. "I do not have grey hair."

''You do.''

"I don't, I'm 23 Addison. I don't have grey!"

Addison chuckled at him.

"You're such a meanie." He pouted.

''You love me.''

"Maybe." He shrugged, giving her a sweet peck on the lips.

''I want a kiss too.'' Hailey demanded. Derek moved and pecked the little girl's lips. "You can paint daddy's hair black."

''Not grey?''

"Not grey, daddy's hair isn't grey." Derek placed another kiss on the girl's forehead.

''Okay!'' She giggled. Derek chuckled at Hailey, sitting next to her, starting to paint a portrait of Addison.

''I painted a dog!'' Justin announced.

"A dog?" Derek faked surprised, turning his head so that he could look at it. "That is one pretty dog Justin!"

''Can we have a dog?''

"We're having a baby. Maybe later." Derek said, offering him a smile.

''Why?''

"Because then we'd have a full house here. 3 babies and a dog."

''We're having 3 babies?'' He looked shocked.

"No silly boy, you and Hailey and the little baby in mommy's tummy."

''I'm not a baby!''

"Well three kids then." He chuckled.

''If Jussie get's a dog then I want a pony.''

"No one's getting anything now." Derek told them. "You can get a clownfish if you want but nothing else."

''A clownfish? What's a clownfish?''

"Like Nemo."

''Oh!''

Derek chuckled. "Would you want a clownfish?"

''I want Nemo!''

Derek chuckled. "I guess we're getting a Nemo then."

''Yay!'' Both kids cheered. Derek laughed at them, carrying on painting the portrait, giving a quick glance at the direction of his wife. Addison started drawing a fish.

"Mommy! There's a Nemo on your leg!"

Addison chuckled, looking at her legs.

"Jussie can paint good!" Hailey giggled, starting to paint a Justin on the paper.

''You too!''

"Thank you Jussie!" Hailey grinned and painted a Justin who's smile reached from ear to ear.

''That's me!''

"Yes! How did you know?" Hailey looked shocked.

''You draw me really good!''

"Yay! Daddy, mommy, daddy! I draw Justin real good!"

''You do.'' Addison smiled. The little girl's grin was just as wide as the painted Justin's.

"You did a very good job." Derek complimented her.

''Thank you daddy!''

"You're welcome my little girl." Derek smiled softly, painting Addison's lips, there was a sly smile on them.

''We should hang this somewhere once it's done.''

"Yeah, it's a pretty painting." Derek smiled, doing the finishing touches on his piece of art.

''It is.'' She agreed. He grinned and signed the picture.

"My house is a pretty house!" Justin grinned broadly.

''Everything on here it pretty. Shall we all look through it?''

"Yes!" Hailey giggled excitedly.

''Let's start with Justin.''

"This is our house!" Justin pointed at it proudly.

''I can see that, it's really pretty.'' Addison looked at it. ''Is that your bedroom?''

He nodded. "And Hailey's too! There's my bed, and Hails'!" He pointed towards two green dots on it.

''Wow, that's really pretty.''

He let out a laugh. "And there's a doggy!"

''What's the doggies name?'' Addison asked her son.

"Muffin." He informed, making Derek chuckle.

"That's a beautiful name Justin." He told.

''Muffin is cute!'' Hailey looked at the dog.

"Yeah! It's the prettiest dog ever!" The little boy said.

''What kinda dog is it?'' Addison asked.

"It's... it's umm... a shepherd!"

She laughed at his answer. He grinned widely. "And there's Nemo on mommy's leg!"

''There is.''

"What did Hailey paint?" Derek asked softly.

''Us!''

"Oooh is that you?" Derek pointed at a little girl painted with red.

''Yes!'' Hailey said proudly. ''Look, I'm holding your hand!''

"Aww that is adorable!" Derek pressed a kiss on Hailey's cheek. The little girl smiled widely. ''That's Jussie.''

"It looks just like Jussie!" He smiled widely. Justin nodded excitedly.

"Hailey is a good painter!"

''And that's mommy, and she's fat here because the baby is in her.''

Derek tried hard not to laugh. "Uhuh?" He just hoped that Addison wouldn't take this the wrong way.

''And she has really long pretty hair.''

"She does, do you want your hair to be like that too?"

''Yeah!''

Derek let out a laugh. "That's good. Did you paint anything else?"

''No. Did I have to?''

"No, that's a lot of painting sweetie."

''It took really long.''

"Of course, it was a lot to paint."

"You did well Hails! Oh look! There's your pony!" He pointed at the green pony Addison painted.

''My ponyyyyyy!'' She said cheerily and looked at it closely.

"Mommy should paint ponies for a living." Derek smiled at the pony. Addison laughed at him.

"It's a pretty pony. Or that fish! It's super cute!" Hailey pointed at the fish Addison had made.

''Yeah?'' She smiled at her daughter. Hailey nodded excitedly. "I'd ride it."

''The pony or the fish?''

"The pony!" Hailey grinned. Addison chuckled.

"But ponies aren't green!" Justin exclaimed.

''Well you can paint them any colour.''

"Oooh..." Justin nodded.

"I painted a flower." Derek said, pointing at the red flower in the middle of the paper. "And the sun." It was right next to his flower.

''The flower grows in the sun.'' Hailey stated.

"It does not, they're just near each other." Derek tried to defend himself. "And I also painted hearts..." A smile tugged at his lips.

''On mommy.''

"On mommy, and a star on mommy's forehead." He grinned at Addison, looking at her covered in paint. Addison stuck out her tongue.

"I love you too" He let out a laugh. "And then... I painted mommy."

''Wow!'' Hailey looked at the painting.

"Do you think it looks like mommy?" He asked softly, adding a stray of hair on it.

''Yeah!''

"Good, isn't it pretty?" Derek asked.

''Very.''

"Yeah, I think so too."

''Did you paint more?''

"No, that's all I painted." Derek smiled.

''I like our painting.''

"I like it too!" Justin yelled, a smile decorating his face.

''Can we put our hands on it?''

Derek smiled. "That'd be cool."

''Let's do it!''

"Let's all do it!" Derek put his hand into the blue paint as Justin put his in green. Addison put hers in red and Hailey in yellow.

Justin placed his hand onto the paper quickly. "WOW!" Derek laughed, carefully placing his next to the painting of Addison. Addison chuckled at him. Derek smiled at his wife, this was how he wanted to spend their days together. Their hands were set on paper. Few moments later they all took their hands off the paper and there were four handprints. Blue, red, yellow and green. Addison smiled at them.

''Mommy should put her tummy in paint!''

Derek laughed loudly. "Really, you think so honey?"

''Yeah for the baby!''

"What if we'll paint another picture when the baby is old enough?"

''Are you gonna throw this one away then?'' Hailey asked shocked.

"No! Of course not!"

''Oh.''

Derek smiled. "Now everyone, let's wash our hands."

''I don't wanna!''

"I'm sorry sweetie but you have to, even mommy and daddy will."

"ME TOO!"

''Okay.'' Hailey sighed.

"That's my girl." Derek smiled, getting up from the floor. They all did the same.

Some time later the adults had their hands washed. "Kids? Would you play nicely while daddy and mommy take a quick shower and wash off the paint?"

''But I can't reach the water!"

Derek lifted his little girl so that she reached the sink. "Now?"

''Yeah.'' She leaned over the sink and opened the tap.

"Good girl." Derek pressed a kiss on her hair, waiting for her to wash her hands.

She washed her hands good. Derek placed her on the floor. "Jussie? Have you washed your hands already?" He asked the little boy.

''Nooo.''

Derek rolled his eyes and lifted him as well. "Wow you're a big boy already."

''I am!'' He clapped his hands under the water. The water splashed a bit and Derek laughed. "A bit more careful please."

He washed off the paint.

"Now, will you play nicely in your room?" Derek let the boy stand on his own now.

''I wanna play here.''

"In the bathroom?" He raised his eyebrows.

''Nooohooo.'' The boy giggled. ''The living room!''

"Play in the living room then." Derek laughed. "Hails will you play with your brother too?"

''Mhm.''

"Good girl." He smiled and pressed kisses on their foreheads. Both kids smiled widely.

"Now go play while we take a shower." He led the kids into the living room.

They started playing with their toys as Addison put away their painting. Derek smiled at his kids, walking behind his wife once the painting was put in it's place. "Wanna take a shower?" He asked, his hand on her hip.

''Together?''

"Yeah, we don't have to do anything if you don't want to though." He pressed a kiss on her shoulder.

''What do you mean with that?''

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Wanna take that shower anyway?"

''Mhm I do, I have to.''

"Good. Come on then." He took her hand in his.

She took his hand, watching her children.

"We'll be right back okay?" Derek confirmed from the two year olds.

''Okay!''

"Now go play while we take a shower." He led the kids into the living room. They started playing with their toys as Addison put away their painting. Derek smiled at his kids, walking behind his wife once the painting was put in it's place. "Wanna take a shower?" He asked, his hand on her hip.

''Together?''

"Yeah, we don't have to do anything if you don't want to though." He pressed a kiss on her shoulder.

''What do you mean with that?''

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Wanna take that shower anyway?"

''Mhm I do, I have to.''

"Good. Come on then." He took her hand in his. She took his hand, watching her children.

"We'll be right back okay?" Derek confirmed from the two year olds.

''Okay!''

"Good." Derek led his wife out of the room, giving her a soft kiss on the cheek. She smiled as she went up the stairs. He opened the bathroom door, giving her a smile. She gave him one back. He placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Shame, those hearts looked good on you."

She chuckled. ''I doubt that.''

"Oh they do, I should have taken a picture." He pecked her lips, starting to remove her top. Addison raised her eyebrow at him.

"You're getting into the shower, I think you need to take off your clothes and I like to do it for you."

''Go ahead.''

He pressed a quick kiss on her lips before bringing the top higher. "Up."

She held her arms up for him. He removed the top, his gaze dropping to her chest. Addison rolled her eyes at him. He returned his gaze to her eyes, starting to remove her skirt. "Sorry, I just really can't resist."

She stepped out of her skirt. He began to remove his own shirt.

''Nuhuh.'' She stopped him.

"What?" He looked at her, raising his eyebrows. She started taking his shirt off. He placed his lips on hers, softly kissing her. She gave him a soft kiss before pulling back looking at his chest as she ran her hands over his muscles.

"I should probably start running again." Derek said, looking at his own chest as well.

''Why?''

"I'm out of shape again." He shrugged, placing a kiss on her lips.

''You are anything but, out of shape.''

"Really?" He smiled at her answer.

''Hmhmm. You've still got your six-pack.'' She ran her fingers over his muscled lower stomach.

"Yeah, thank god." Derek nodded, observing her hand on his stomach, it felt good. Her hand moved lower. He held back a gasp, looking at her hand that was wandering lower. She looked at his torso. He smiled at the attention he was getting, slowly starting to unclasp her bra. She let him take off her bra. The bra dropped to the floor and he grinned. She chuckled at him.

"What? I'm just happy to see them again." He smiled, pressing a kiss on her lips.

''Hmm yeah, again.''

"What? I love them." He shrugged, looking into her eyes.

''Hmm.'' She unbuttoned his jeans. He gave her a soft kiss on her jaw, placing his hands on her hips. She then started to unzip them. He smiled, pressing another soft kiss on her jaw. She pushed his jeans down. They pooled around his ankles and he began to push down her panties. She waited patiently. He pushed them down, looking into her eyes the whole time. Their gazes locked. He smiled at her as the panties dropped to the floor. She teasingly played with his boxers. He pouted at her.

''Hmm what?''

"You're teasing." He mumbled, still his pouting-face on.

''Am I?'' Her fingers traced the sensitive skin just above his boxers. He gasped rather loudly and nodded, his eyes closed. "Yes."

She dipped her fingers just below it, touching nothing but skin.

"Okay that's just evil." He mumbled, trying hard to focus.

''Why? What am I doing?''

"You're a mean woman who keeps teasing her man." He pressed his lips against hers.

''Hmmm.'' She could feel his erection growing in his boxers.

"Get into shower." He ordered, leading her towards the shower.

''Hmm bossy.''

He grinned against her lips. "Can you really blame me? There's a hot woman in front of me, doing things to me." She smiled seductively at him, feeling her hair tickle on her lower back. He returned her smile, opening the shower door. "Get in."

She walked backwards into the shower.

"Good." He stepped in right after her, turning on the shower. She felt the water cascading down her body. His lips found hers just a moment later, the water dropping on them, hitting their skins.

''Your boxers.'' She mumbled. He pushed them down and threw them out of the shower. "Happy?"

''Very.'' She looked down at his cock. He rolled his eyes, crushing his lips against hers with want and desire. She pushed her hips against his. A moan left his lips and he pushed her against the wall. She moved her hand down his stomach. He placed his hands onto her hips, gently rubbing them. She took him in her hand. A gasp mixed with moan left his lips and his other hand squeezed her hip rather hard. She started stroking him. Another moan escaped his lips and his other hand was placed against the wall, trying to keep himself balanced. She pumped him in her fist. A louder moan left his lips and he broke away from the kiss in need of oxygen. She grinned at him, kissing his chest. ''Say something.''

He shook his head. "I... I can't." He mumbled, enjoying her touch, enjoying her lips.

''C'mon.''

"What... what do you want... me to say?" He asked, few moans leaving his lips. He wasn't able to think normally but hell for her he tried.

''I don't know, how you feel.'' She increased her pace.

"Amazing." He moaned at her actions, his head dropping to her shoulder. "I can't... think."

She ran her thumb over his tip. A little louder moan left his lips and he crushed his lips against hers, already seeing stars. She kissed his jaw. "Oh dear god..." He mumbled, his orgasm getting closer by her every single kiss and movement. She sucked on his earlobe, breathing hot air in his ear. This sent him over the edge, moaning, his other hand grabbing her hip a little harder again, making his knees feel weak as his mind clouded. She smiled against his neck. He was panting heavily once he came down from his high. She kissed his lips.

"Hmm." He pecked hers back. "How the hell have you learned all that?"

''Hmm that's a secret.''

A small chuckle left his lips and he gently brushed her hair, placing his lips on hers.

''And I can do a lot more.'' She pecked his lips.

"Uhuh, I can do something too." He smirked, his hand softly rubbing her hip. "And... you can show those other things a bit later."

''Why not now?''

"Because... I have a thing I can do too." He said, kissing her softly on the lips. "And your hip isn't hurting right?"

''No, why? And what thing?''

"I think I squeezed it a bit hard and that... that I have to show you." He gently moved his hands over her stomach.

''Hmm when?''

"In a few moments..." He placed few sloppy kisses on her lips, letting his hands move onto her thighs softly massaging them.

''Now?'' She felt her skin tingle under his touch.

"When I count in three." He whispered, massaging her thighs. "One.."

She closed her eyes.

"Two..." He moved his hand onto her inner thigh. She let out a moan in anticipation.

"Two and a half..." He pressed a kiss on her jaw. She tilted her head to the side.

"Two and three quarters." He parted her legs a bit, slipping two fingers into her. She let out a loud moan. He smiled at her reaction, giving her a few moments to adjust.

She started moving her hips against his hand.

"Impatient, impatient..." He made a clicking noise before his fingers started pumping in and out of her, meeting her movement.

''Oh Derek.'' She moaned, her hips bucking. He started sucking on her neck. "Your turn to talk my love."

''About what?'' She breathed.

"How do you feel?" He curled his fingers inside of her.

''Hmm horny.'' She moaned loudly at his action. He tried hard not to laugh at her answer, carrying on kissing her neck, slowly letting the pace grow, his thumb brushing over her clit. "What about now?"

''Even better, don't stop.''

"What if I do?" He let the pace get slower.

''No!''

He grinned against her skin, the pace getting more intense as he began massaging her clit.

''Oh.'' She moaned loudly, biting down on her lip. He moved his lips downwards, onto her collarbone, sucking softly. She felt herself getting close. He curled his fingers again, his sucking becoming harder. ''Derek.'' She breathed. He moved his fingers faster, harder and deeper. ''I'm close.'' She moaned out. He gently bit on her neck, curling his fingers. She started clenching around him, her orgasm crashing over her. He grinned against her skin, moving his fingers as she rode off her orgasm. She was panting heavily, finding support on his shoulders. He softly removed his fingers. "You okay?"

''More then okay.''

He brushed some hair off her face. "Great, so... you were saying you can do much more. Care showing me?" He asked after her breathing got back to normal.

''In bed tonight, okay?''

"Oh yes." He smiled before placing a kiss on her lips.

''Thanks.''

"No problem." He wiped away some paint from her forehead that still hadn't washed away.

She chuckled. ''Make sure to get it out of my hair.''

"Ahh what if this is permanent?" He made a face, wiping it away easily from her face.

''It's finger paint.'' He shrugged. "Damn woman, you're smart, I can't fool you." He washed her neck a bit. She chuckled. He grinned and placed a kiss on her lips. "Is my hair back to grey?" He asked.

''Yes.'' Addison chuckled, running her hand through his black curls. Derek let out a laugh. "You have a thing for older men and their grey hair then?"

''You're as old as me.''

He smiled, kissing her again softly. "Uhuh."

She chuckled. ''Someone should check the children.''

"I can." He offered with a sigh.

''Thanks.'' Addison gave him a smile.

"Welcome." He chuckled softly at her, opening the door of the shower.

She went to stand under the water alone. He turned around, adoring her body for a moment or two. She had her eyes closed and was running her fingers through her hair. He just stood there, looking at her, every curve on her body. It was his. She softly hummed to herself, enjoying the warm water on her skin. He smiled at her widely, grabbing a towel, still staring at her. She grabbed a bottle of body wash. He grinned, wrapping the towel around his waist, his eyes moving on her most private body parts. She started to soap herself in, unaware of her husband watching her. His eyes widened as he watched this, biting on his lip. "Enjoy your shower." He said before starting to walk towards the door. She opened her eyes and turned around. He made a smile. "You look beautiful." And with that he opened the door. ''Thanks.'' She smiled. He gave her another smile before he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. Addison continued her shower. Derek put on his robe and walked downstairs to check on their children, he stepped into the living room. Both kids were playing on the floor.

"What are you playing?" Derek sat on the couch, looking at the two kids.

''Teletubbies!''

"Oooh that must be fun!" Derek chuckled at the twins. "Who's who?"

''I'm Lala!"  
"Ooh that's cool, what about you?" Derek laughed.

"Tinky Winky cause he's a big boy!"

''Do you wanna be Dipsy daddy?'' Hailey asked with big eyes.

"That would be fun but daddy is just wearing a robe, after I get dressed okay?"

''Okay!''

"Good." Derek loved his kids, he loved the fact that he was their idol. Hailey rolled around over the floor. He laughed at the sight. "What are you doing sweetheart?"

''Rolling in the grass in Teletubbie land!''

Derek laughed loudly. "Sounds like very much fun!"

"Me too!" Justin began rolling.

''You too daddy!''

He chuckled. "Maybe later honey."

''Nooooooow.''

"Daddy has to get dressed before that."

''Then get dressed!''

"I'll get right back." Derek laughed at his little girl, walking out of the room and into the bedroom.

Addison stood in the bedroom clad in only panties as she was blow-drying her hair. He grinned at the sight, a thought crossing his minds, _she had never looked more beautiful_ . She didn't hear him over the sound of the blow-dryer. He walked towards his closet, giving her few more quick looks. She saw him walked in her mirror and turned around. ''Oh hi.''

"Hi." He made a smile, taking another quick look at her body. She smiled back at him.

"You look great." He turned towards the closet, taking some clean clothes.

''What?'' She asked over the noise.

"You look great." He said a bit louder.

''Oh, thanks!''

"Welcome." He smiled and began to change, letting the robe drop to the floor. She watched him through the mirror. He pulled on his boxers, soon followed by casual jeans. She kept watching him, looking at his muscled back. Was it normal for someone to look THAT hot in just jeans?

"I can feel your eyes burning my back." He laughed at his wife, slowly pulling on a shirt.

''What, can't I watch you?'' She pulled out the plug.

"You can if I can watch you." He looked into her eyes through the mirror. She playfully rolled her eyes.

"You can't deny it, you love my eyes on you." He placed a kiss on her bare shoulder when he was close enough.

''Hmm that's true.'' She smiled at him in the mirror. He smiled back at her, placing his hands on her hips. "You have no idea how incredibly hot you look now."

''Hmm really?''

"Really." He placed a soft kiss on her neck.

''Thank you.''

"Welcome" He grinned. "But now... now your gorgeous husband is gonna go roll on the grass in teletubbies land."

''What?'' She chuckled.

"The kids are playing Teletubbies, I get to be Dipsy, jealous?" He stuck out his tongue playfully.

''Oh very.'' She smiled.

He smiled at her. "I'll see you in a few."

''Give me a kiss first?''

"Let's see..." He began kissing her shoulder softly, his kisses slowly moving up her neck and onto her jaw. She closed her eyes, smiling. He finally brought his lips to hers, his eyes closed by now. She softly kissed him, keeping their hands on her stomach. He gently brushed her stomach, still kissing her. She had her head tilted slightly backwards to kiss him. After a few more moments he pulled back, pecking her lips once or maybe four times. A smile was tugging on her face.

"I love you Ads." He smiled at her widely. ''I love you too Der.'' She looked deeply into his eyes. He returned her gaze before slowly removing his hands from her stomach. She immediately noticed the lost off contact.

"See you in a few okay?" He tenderly placed a kiss on her cheek.

''Mhm, I'll be downstairs soon, I'll take the kids pyjamas with me, it's already 20 to 8.''

"Yeah that'd be good, I'm gonna try to calm down the two monkeys, Teletubbies or whatever."

''Thanks.'' She pecked his lips again. He pecked hers back. "That's what I'm here for."

''I love you.''

"I love you too, you're the love of my life." He smiled at her through the mirror, it was like he was unable to move away from her.

''Yeah.'' She smiled back at him, her head leaning against his chest.

"You're my sun, you're my moon, when you're around the flowers bloom. See? That's why I didn't become poeter."

She chuckled lightly, looking at the two of them in the mirror, it wasn't until then she realized she was only wearing panties. He placed a kiss on her cheek. "See you soon." Still he didn't move, just looked at them.

''Mhm.''

He placed a kiss on the back of her head and then left the room. Addison started to get dressed.

Derek walked down the stairs and stepped into the Teletubbies land that was far far away and had this hill (aka the couch). "Hey Lala!" He greeted his daughter.

''Dipsyyyyyyy!'' She jumped up and down the couch. Derek laughed softly. "What are you doing Lala and where's Tinky Winky?"

He gave her a big innocent grin. Derek laughed, sitting onto the carpet near the couch, pulling Justin from under the couch.

''Yaaaaaay.''

He sat Justin on his lap. "Now, Tinky Winky do you know what time it is?"

''Nooooo.'' He rolled rounds on the floor. Derek shook his head at the little boy. "It's time for changing to pyjamas really soon."

''No.'' His face fell immediately.

"Yes, it's the pyjama-time soon." Derek captured the boy in his arms.

''Noooooo!'' He wriggled himself out of his father's arms. Derek rolled his eyes at him. "Justin, fifteen more minutes then it's time for bed."

''Yay!''

"Don't disappoint me okay?"

''What?'' He frowned.

"You can play for fifteen minutes then it's time for bed, okay? Will you be a good boy and do this?"

''Yeeheeees.''

"Good." Derek pressed a kiss on the top of Justin's head and then pulled Hailey to sit on his lap. "What about you Lala?"

''I wanna dance!''

"Oooh, want daddy to put on some music?" Derek smiled.

''Yes!'' She said excitedly.

Derek laughed, leaving his daughter on the floor as he walked to the CD-player, putting one disc inside it. She started spinning rounds. The music started and George Michael's voice filled the room. She danced happily. Derek grinned, taking the girl's hands in his. She had a big smile on her face as she danced with her father. He spun her around, lip-syncing to the song. Justin attacked his legs from behind. Derek laughed, trying to keep his balance. "Careful Jussie!" He poked his head through his father's legs, making Hailey giggle loudly. Derek laughed at his son's actions, shaking his head. "Oooh I gotta have faith..." He sang to the song. "Jussie would you dance with us?"

''No!'' He giggled.

"Well Hails and daddy want to dance so you could join us." Derek offered again, picking up the boy. He laughed, swinging his arms and legs madly.

"I gotta have faith, faith, faith!" Derek sang along rather loudly, placing the boy back on the floor, dancing with his little girl who was trying to dance something like tango. She turned a ballerina circle. Her father smiled widely, helping her spin as he kept singing. The little girl was grinning widely. Derek let go of her other hand after the spinning, taking Justin's hand in his. "Link your hand with Bug's." The little boy did as his father said. They started to spinning in a circle.

''I'm a princess!''

"Oh yes you are." Derek chuckled, looking at his little girl.

"AND I'M A DRAGON! GRAAAAAAUH" Justin yelled loudly.

''Aahhh you're scary!'' Hailey giggled, spinning round and round. Justin giggled as well, throwing his head back as they spun together. "You're a pretty princess Hails!"

''Thank you!'' She giggled loudly as Addison walked into the living room. Justin's speed started to become slower just like Derek had planned. "Are you getting tired Jus?"

"NOO!"

Addison chuckled and walked further into the room, watching them. Few moments later they stopped spinning and Justin sat on the carpet exhausted. "Where's my pyjama?"

''Here.'' Addison laughed.

''I'm diiiizyyyyyyy.'' Hailey stumbled through the room. Derek captured his little girl and walked to the couch with her in his arms, pressing a kiss on the top of her head while Justin ran towards the couch. Hailey squinted her eyes shut. Derek gently rubbed the girl's foot once they were sat down on the couch, her on his lap. She wrapped one arm around his neck as her other hand wiped over her eye tiredly. Derek placed a kiss on her forehead. "Are you tired sweetie?"

''Playing makes tired.'' She kept rubbing her eye. Derek smiled. "Aww, does it? Maybe you should change to pyjamas now."

''You do it.''

He nodded and looked at Justin who already had his pyjamas on before turning his attention back to Hailey. "Do you need a new diaper Bug?"

She nodded her head as she laid it on his shoulder.

"Let's go upstairs then." Derek softly brushed her back as he got up, taking her pyjamas. Addison picked up Justin. Derek walked out of the room with Hailey and up the stairs. Hailey was already asleep. Derek smiled at the little girl, once in the kids' room he began to remove her clothes on the changing table. Hailey put her thumb in her mouth as she continued to sleep. Derek chuckled softly, taking off her diaper and throwing it to the trashcan, taking a new one and putting it on quickly. Addison had already put Justin in bed who quickly fell asleep. Derek dressed the little girl in pyjamas and then carried her to her bed, pressing a goodnight kiss on her forehead. "Night sweetie." She curled up under the blankets. Derek moved to the other bed, giving his boy a kiss on the forehead as well. Addison smiled at him. Derek smiled back at her, placing a small kiss on her lips. ''Let's go.'' She whispered, watching their two little miracles sleep. He took her hand in his silently, nodding and turning off the lights. They walked down the stairs silently.


	22. Cuddling, Embarrassment and Love

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 22 – Cuddling, Embarrassment and Love_

They walked into the living room and he put off the cd-player. Addison sat down on the couch and turned the TV on. Derek sat down next to her, his arm wrapping around her shoulders. She snuggled up against him. He placed a kiss on the top of her head before looking at the screen. She wrapped both her arms around him.

"Very cuddly today?" He smiled softly, bringing his other arm around her as well.

''Yeah.'' She said honest.

"That's great." He replied, giving her a short, gentle kiss. "That makes the two of us then."

''I'm strangely cuddly lately.''

"I've noticed that." He let out a soft laugh. "Not that I have anything against it."

''Hmm good.''

"You're very cuddlable" He whispered against her hair.

''I am?'' She held him even closer.

"Yeah, veeeeeeery cuddlable, you're amazing." He kissed her softly.

''I love you.''

"I love you more."

''You do not.''

"I do." Derek smiled.

''May I sit in your lap?''

"You don't have to ask for that." He tilted his head to the side, looking at her.

''Okay.'' She went to sit in his lap. He pecked her lips softly, placing his hands on the both sides of her face. She looked into his eyes. He looked back into hers, smiling.

She smiled back at him softly.

"Have I ever told you that you have a beautiful smile?"

She shook her head, blushing. He smiled at her. "Well you do."

''Thanks.'' She hugged him, resting her head on his shoulder. He hugged her back, his thumbs stroking her back. "Welcome."

''I love you.'' She mumbled against his shoulder.

"I love you too." He replied, pressing a light kiss on her shoulder. She had her eyes closed, playing with his curls. He smiled at the closeness, his eyes closing. She could stay forever like this. He twirled a stay of her hair around his finger, playing with her wavy hair. She placed a sweet kiss on his neck. He hummed a little, lightly kissing her cheek. She smiled softly. She could feel his breathing against her cheek.

''I love you so much.''

"I love you too, I'd never change you for anything."

''That's good to know.'' She smiled. He carried on playing with her hair, a smile decorating his face.

''You have school tomorrow?''

"Yeah." He made a face. "I should be back by three or something and I can stop by at lunch break."

''Okay.'' She nodded. He pecked her lips. "Yeah."

''Wanna do that thing?''

"What that thing?" A grin spread on his face.

''We said in the shower...''

"Yeah..." He softly brushed her cheek.

''Okay.'' She gave him a small smile, getting up. ''I'm gonna close the curtains though.''

"Yeah?" He gave her a smile.

''Hmm.'' She leaned up and closed one side of the curtains. He tilted his head to the side a bit, looking at her. She then closed the other. He carried on looking at her, not realising she was ready with the curtains. She chuckled lightly, walking back to the couch.

"What? I like looking at you." He shrugged, a smile on his face.

''Mhm.'' She smiled. He pulled her to sit on his lap.

''No.'' She got off of his lap.

"No?" he raised his eyebrows at her.

''Nope.'' She popped the button on his jeans. He looked at her, biting on his lip.

She pulled down his zipper. He lifted his hips a little, still looking at her. She pulled his jeans down. ''What are you staring for?''

"Just curious." He replied.

''Don't okay.''

"Okay." He closed his eyes for a moment or two before moving his gaze away from her. She smiled. ''Lay on the couch.

He did as told and laid on his back on the couch. "This is getting interesting."

''And why?'' She said at his feet. He grinned, not answering her.

''Take your boxers off.'' She ordered. He pushed his boxers down, finding the ordering kind of a turn-on.

''Hmm good, take your shirt off as well.''

He started pulling up his shirt, after a while throwing it to the floor.

''Part your legs.''

He did as told, reminding himself that she should order a bit more in the future. She went to lie in between his legs. He looked at the ceiling, impatiently moving beneath her. She let out a breath, it has been a long time since she had last done that. He bit on his lip, feeling her hot breath on his crotch. She first took him in her hand. A moan left his lips and his hands grabbed the couch, getting harder in her hand. She smiled at his reaction as she pumped him. He moaned again, his eyes falling shut instantly. She had to bit on her lip to not burst out in laughter but after a few seconds she couldn't hold it back anymore. ''I'm sorry, this is so awkward.'' She laughed. A laugh left his lips, shaking his head. That's exactly what he had thought the whole time but still he was slightly disappointed for her not going on. "It is."

''Sorry, sorry. Just give me a second.'' She said amused.

"Look, you don't have to, if it's so awkward." This was ridiculous.

''No I just haven't done it in a long time and suddenly it just turned really funny, sorry.'' She gave him an apologizing smile. He let out a laugh. "I know you haven't done it in a while." He wasn't blaming her or anything. "I bet it... feels a bit weird again." He pulled her up to him and gave her a small kiss on the lips.

''Yeah it's... very confronting to put it like that.''

He kissed her again. "Look I understand you in this, okay?"

''Yeah, but I still wanna do it.''

"Yeah?" He gave her a smile.

''Well... if you still want me to.''

"Did I ever say I didn't want you to anymore?" He pecked her lips.

''Just making sure.''

He nodded. "Yeah, good."

''Okay.''

Derek brushed some hair off of her face. She took a deep breath and moved down his body again. He looked at the ceiling, once again shifting under her. She started stroking him first. A moan left his lips again, his eyes closing. After a while she hesitantly took him in her mouth. Louder moan left his lips and his hands grabbed the couch.

She ran her tongue over his tip. His eyes were shut tightly and he tried to keep his hips in place while the moans kept leaving his lips. She took him in further, moving her mouth in the same pace as her hand. "Oh dear god." His moaned out and his hips lifted a little. She started to lightly suck. "Addie..." He moaned deeply, his hand moving to her hair. She moved her head faster, sliding her tongue over him. He could already feel his mind clouding when he moaned out for more. She increased pace.

His back arched a bit more as he moaned out her name, his orgasm crashing over him. She kept going until he was finished. Once he came down from the high he had been experiencing he was panting heavily. She kept going until he was finished. Once he came down from the high he had been experiencing he was panting heavily. She moved back up, kissing his chest.

"That was..." He mumbled, unable to describe what just happened, his hand moved over her back softly.

''Bad, I'm sorry.''

"It wasn't bad." He brought her lips to his.

''Yes it was.''

"No it was not." He insisted, maybe this wasn't the best one but it was not bad at all, well besides the bursting out in laughter.

''You usually would go crazy for it and you didn't now.''

"It wasn't bad Addison, trust me." He gently ran his fingers over her spine. She sighed.

"You just haven't done it in a long time." He shrugged, placing a small kiss on her neck.

''I feel so stupid now.''

"You're not, it wasn't bad, it just... it wasn't the best." He wrapped his arms around her waist. She closed her eyes. ''I'm going to the bathroom.''

"Addie come on, don't do this." He sighed.

''I just need to go to the bathroom.'' She got up.

And once again, it seemed like she was in the opposite side of country even though she was close to him. He began to put on his boxers. She walked into the bathroom, locking the door. He sighed rather loudly and got up from the couch, starting to get dressed. The house was completely quiet now. He pulled on the rest of his clothes and walked towards the bathroom. No sound came from it. He softly knocked on the door, leaning his head against it. "Addie?" She didn't answer. He knocked again. "Open the door." Inside Addison sat on the floor, her hand clasped in front of her mouth so he wouldn't hear her. He knocked again, a little louder this time. "Addison, open come out now, I need to see that you're okay." She tried to keep the sobs from escaping her mouth. He sighed, knocking one more time. "Open the damn door Addison." He needed to know she was okay, he needed to see that she hadn't done anything. This was bad, she already had problems with herself now this too... this wasn't a good thing. ''I'm fine!'' She yelled. He nodded his head, at least she was talking, well more of shouting but still. "I'll wait here." She went back to quiet again.

He turned around and slid down the door to the floor. She kept her hand in front of her mouth as she sobbed. He hit his head against the door and a thud was heard from it, but it's not like he cared. She laid against the floor. He turned his head to the side, pressing his ear against the door. He needed to know how she was holding up. There was no way she ever would get out looking like this she thought to herself. This had never happened to them before, he hated this and promised that this never would. Never. Her chest rose and fell in a quick pace. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the door, hoping that she was okay. She curled up into a ball. He wasn't sure of what to do. She let out a loud sigh, closing her eyes. He knocked on the door as soon as he heard it. She looked up at the door, not answering.

"Please at least knock back or something that I know you did fall over and hit your head and you're not slowly bleeding out there." He mumbled with a weak voice, knocking again. She shook her head, tears falling down her eyes. He knocked a bit louder before getting up so that he could go look for a screwdriver.

''Go to bed.''

"I'm not going to bed before you come out of the bathroom." He replied. She didn't answer. He walked out of the room and a minute later returned with a screwdriver. "Open the door please."

''I can take care of myself!''

"Open the door, please." He repeated himself.

''No!''

He began to open the door with the tool.

''If you come in I leave!'' She threatened.

"Please Addison come out." He begged one more time, stopping what he was doing. She didn't say anything.

"Come out please." His head pressed up against the door again.

''Just go to bed.''

"I'm not going there before you open the door and come out."

''I'm not.''

"Please come out Addison, you don't have to hide from me."

''I want to be alone.''

"I want to be with you."

''Why?''

"Because I love you too much and it hurts to see you upset and locked up inside a bathroom not willing to talk to me."

''Why?! Why?! I'm a pathetic excuse for a wife!''

"You're not pathetic Addison! You're everything but that!"

''I'm locking myself into a bathroom!''

"Well I can see that! Would you just come out and talk to me??"

''Why?''

"Because I don't want you to be upset and locked up in a bathroom, talking could help."

''It won't.''

"What makes you think that? Locking yourself into a bathroom is better than talking to me?"

''Yes.''

"Why is it better?"

''Because then you won't have to look at me.''

He sighed. "What so you won't talk to me because you think you don't look good enough?"

She shrugged although he couldn't see it.

"Ads?"

''Yes?''

"Would you please come out and talk to me?"

''Why?''

"Because I need to talk to you and what happened is clearly bothering you."

She leaned against the door. He knocked softly, hitting his head against the door one more time. "Please?"

''Why?''

"I've told you multiple reasons Addie."

''Not enough.''

"I need you to come out now."

''Why?''

"Because I don't want you to run away from me every time you feel like doing it."

''I can do what I want.''

"Yeah you're right, you have your rights to do whatever you want. But would you come out for me if I asked?"

She sighed, unlocking the door though she didn't open it.

"Can I come in?" He asked, thanking the god for this.

''I don't care.''

He wanted her to care but still he opened the door slowly. She sat on the floor with her arms crossed. He lowered himself to her level, trying to make an eye-contact. She simply avoided his gaze and looked at the floor. He sat down, looking at her. "Do you want to talk about it?"

''No.''

"Okay." He shrugged. She kept looking at the floor.

"Just so you know, it wasn't bad at all... something was just bothering me a bit. Okay?"

''What?''

"What what?"

''What was bothering you?''

He shrugged. "It's stupid, you wouldn't get it."

''Try me.''

"You laughed." He sighed, shrugging his shoulders.

''What?'' She looked at him confused.

"Before... you laughed. I don't know, it just made me feel stupid." He shrugged again, now it was his turn to avoid her look.

''Why?'' She didn't get it.

"I told you that you wouldn't understand it. Look, it's a guy-thing, I just didn't feel too good about it."

''Then explain.''

"You were looking at my manhood, laughing, there, to me that seems a bit awkward. So yeah I know you weren't laughing at me but still."

''Derek.'' She sighed. ''I laughed because I was nervous.''

"Well yeah so was I, you haven't done it in a long, long time."

''So I'm sorry I laughed okay, it just happened because of the nerves.''

"Okay. So it wasn't that you weren't good, it was just... nerves. Yeah."

''No I meant the laughing.''

"Well still they both were cause of it, we both were nervous."

''Why were you?''

"I don't know, I was just... it had been a long time Ads."

''So?''

"I don't know, it just made me feel a bit nervous."

''Oh...''

"Yeah so... sorry."

''For?''

"For acting like an ass and making you upset." That I apparently tend to do a lot these days, Derek added in his mind.

''It was my own fault.''

He shrugged, finally looking at her.

''I sucked.'' Literally.

"You didn't suck at... sucking." He furrowed his eyebrows together. She closed her eyes sighing. He moved a bit closer. "Hey, it wasn't bad."

''No you're right, it wasn't bad, it was horrible.''

"It did not suck! It wasn't horrible."

''Yes it was.''

"It wasn't Addison, god would you believe me on this? It wasn't bad, or horrible."

''How?! How was it not?''

"Well I liked it..." He shrugged, softly starting to brush her leg so that he'd make himself busy.

''Liar.''

"Am not, it was good, not your best one though."

''How is that good?''

"Well... obviously because of... what you did." He wasn't going to describe it.

"What?"

"Well let's put it this way umm... I liked everything you did with your tongue, your lips, it felt so good, it always does. It was just a bit awkward."

''Why?''

"Cause of the laughing." He shrugged.

''What did you think I laughed for?''

"Look I know it wasn't directed at me but still." He carried on brushing her leg.

''Still what?''

"But still it made me feel a bit uncomfortable..."

''But I don't get why.''

"It just did, you were down there. What would you have felt like if I would have started laughing while I was going down on you?" He gave a small sigh.

She shrugged. ''I said I was sorry.''

"Yeah I know you are." His hand moved to her shoulder, rubbing it for a moment before letting it drop back to her leg. She let out a sigh. ''It was really embarrassing.

"I bet." He gave her a soft look. She looked at the floor. He placed his hand on top of hers. "Look, this isn't a big deal."

''Yes it is.''

"No it's not a big deal."

''Yes it is.'' She repeated.

"Why is it such a big deal? We don't have to make it a big deal Addison."

She shrugged.

"Look, it's not a big deal really." He linked his fingers with hers.

''Okay.'' She looked at him.

"Good." He made a small smile, slowly playing with her fingers.

''Can I go to school tomorrow?'' She asked hesitantly.

"Do you want to?" He asked back.

''Yeah...''

"Okay... so that means I'd had to stay home?"

She nodded.

"Umm okay I guess it's my turn to stay home anyway, you can give me the notes later, right?"

''Yeah.''

"Okay well you can go tomorrow, it's okay." Derek made her a little smile, he was obsessed with school but it was her turn.

''Thanks.'' She gave him a small smile.

"Welcome." He shifted. "This floor is not very comfy, you know that?"

''It's cold as well.''

"We should get up before our butts freeze."

''Yeah.'' She pulled herself up. He got up as well, linking his hand with hers again. She gave his hand a small squeeze. He squeezed her hand as well as they walked out of the bathroom and he picked up the screwdriver.

''A screwdriver?''

He shrugged. "To open the door if needed."

''Why?''

"Just in case." He placed it on a table.

''Okay...''

He placed a little kiss on her hair.

''Let's go to bed.''

He nodded, leading her up the stairs in silence, and into their bedroom. She changed into her pyjamas and crawled into bed. He pulled on a ratty t-shirt and his boxers before slipping under the covers. She turned off the light. He rolled onto his side so that he was facing her, physically they were close but emotionally, he didn't know. She just looked at him, silently. He made a little smile in the dark room and moved his arm around her middle. She shifted her body closer against his, still looking into his eyes. He slowly brushed her back, looking into her eyes, trying to assure her it was okay. She wrapped one arm around him. He smiled at her actions, placing a light kiss on her lips. She gave him a soft kiss. Another smile tugged at his lips as he kissed her back tenderly. She hugged him. He hugged her back tightly, breathing in her scent.

''I love you.'' She whispered.

"I love you too." He whispered back the four words he loved. She closed her eyes.

"Sweet dreams Addie." He placed a kiss on her forehead.

''You too. Night.''

"Night." He closed his eyes soon. She cuddled against him. He held his dearest treasure against him tightly. After a few seconds she was asleep. He listened to her breathing that got deeper and deeper, after a few moments once he was sure she was safe and nothing was going to hurt her he allowed himself to drift off to sleep.


	23. Mother talk, Pasta and Parents

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 23 – Mother talk, Pasta and Parents_

The next day Addison had already gone to school and Derek was sitting in his mother's kitchen while Gabriel was in the garden playing with the children. Derek sipped his coffee, no idea what to say to his mother. He looked around the room, avoiding her gaze though it wasn't so awkward between them anymore, they had got over the walking in on Derek and Addison-thing.

''So...'' Theresa slowly nodded her head.

"So... how are you?" Derek started lightly.

''Good. You?''

"Me too" Derek made a smile.

''Good.'' Theresa smiled at him. ''How's Addi?''

"She's okay." Derek shrugged. "Missing her home of course."

''She does?''

"Yeah she's been away for a long time so yes."

Theresa nodded. ''But you're going on vacation there so.''

"Yeah that should make things a bit easier."

''So how are things for the rest?''

"I don't know, okay I guess." He said honestly.

''That doesn't sound really convincing.''

"We're okay, yeah."

''Der...'' His mother knew there was something wrong. He shrugged. "It's just hard, we've talked about it but it don't know if we made any progress. And last night, she locked herself into the bathroom."

''What? Why?''

"Well something happened but I'm not talking to you about that."

''Derek.''

"I'm not talking to you about what happened." He said again.

''Why not??''

"Because I don't want to tell you about that."

''Derek why not?''

"Because you really don't want to know about that stuff. Trust me."

''I'm asking you to tell you aren't I?''

"Something happened and she got embarrassed and then locked herself into the bathroom."

''What did she get embarrassed for?''

"Mom it involves our sex-life, I'm not talking to you about that."

''She got embarrassed from sex?''

"No, she was... uhm..." He cleared his throat. "She was going to blow me, which she hasn't done in a long time and she suddenly thought it was weird and started laughing and then she got herself back together and said she wanted to do it and then she did it and apparently she thought she did bad and locked herself into the bathroom. There. Now you know inappropriate things about our sex-life. Happy?"

''Derek! I thought I raised you to threat women better then that!''

"What??"

''Letting your wife... blow you!''

"Why not?? She started it. Oh dear god mother it's not like you haven't..." He cut himself off, not wanting to think about it.

''No I haven't!''

"God mom, I did not want to know that!"

''I can't believe you're making her do that!'' Theresa was truly shocked.

"I'm not MAKING her do that, for fuck's sake mom I'm not insisting on her doing that."

''Do not swear at me Derek.''

"God, I can't even believe me you're accusing me of making her do that!"

''Well she did it didn't she?''

"I didn't ask her to do it and for your information it's not like I don't go down on her."

''Oh god, Derek.'' Theresa pulled a face and sighed. ''And those two things are very different.''

"Fine whatever, think so then." He rolled his eyes at his mother, taking a sip of his coffee. Theresa sighed.

"So anyway, she opened the door for me sometime later."

''Yeah?''

"Yeah, after like seven years of convincing. But she opened it. That's good, right?"

''It is.''

"Yeah... it is." He made a little smile, taking a sip of his coffee.

''Anything else?''

"I don't know, I don't think so, everything's okay... though she misses her father like crazy.

''She does?''

"Yeah we talked about things a week ago..." He left out the part where they were shouting on purpose.

''Good, good.''

"Yeah it's good." He nodded.

''You know you could've called me.''

"About?"

''The fight or something.''

"I could handle it myself."

''I could've taken the kids.''

"You didn't need to, we're perfectly fine, there wasn't even yelling, so much. Maybe a bit raised voices, nothing else."

''Okay that's good. I just want you to be happy, you're still my little boy.''

"Yeah I know but you can't be there 100% of the time, I need to do some things alone okay?" He said it in the nicest voice he could so that she wouldn't take it in the wrong way.

''I know... I know...''

"But I'm glad that you're there." He made her a smile.

''Thanks, I'm glad you still allow me to be there sometimes.''

"Yeah." Derek took a sip of the coffee. "Well anyway..."

''Yes?''

"I don't know." He shrugged, taking another sip.

''So... she'll see her mother soon...'' Theresa hated that woman with all her heart.

"Yeah... sadly will I too." Derek's feelings were the exact same. "I don't even get why Caleb married her."

''Me either, he's such a nice man.''

"Yeah, I like him... but she's..."

''A bitch.''

"I was going to say Satan but yeah I think that's one way to put it."

''Yeah...'' Theresa sat in thought as they drank their coffee. ''Can I tell you a story?''

"Go ahead." Derek looked at his mother, leaning his shoulder on the table and resting his head on his hand.

''Well this happened at your wedding day right. That was the first time I met Maria and knowing Addison, I expected her to be very nice and all...''

"Yeah?" He had a feeling that Maria had been the complete opposite.

''Yeah and I met her, and just all day, she was running after Addison, telling her that her dress didn't fit on her and how poorly her make-up was done and snarky comments about her hair.''

Derek shook his head at the story, he had never heard this from Addison. "She looked beautiful that day."

''And this one thing, this one thing I will never forget.'' She shook her head. ''Before she walked down the isle, just a second before, Maria was adjusting her veil. I wished her good luck and told her she was beautiful and that I was so happy for the two of you and then Maria told her, and I mean literally told her, that she hoped that there wouldn't be made a lot of pictures of Addison because she would be ashamed later.'' She paused and sighed. ''She told her Addison should wish you would still marry her after this and then not a second later she walked with her father down the isle towards you with this huge, bright smile, like nothing had happened and her mother had just wished her all the luck out of the world. Such things Derek, you never forget them. Those are the things that you will carry with you your entire life.''

"I... she... but..." Derek's jaw dropped, his mouth was hanging open. He had thought she had never looked better, he had thought she could never look any better (until he was proved wrong). Then the anger ran through his veins with power, his hand curled up in a fist. He felt bad for Addison, he felt angry towards Maria, while all these emotions ran through his mind his mind filled with ideas. On the top of his list was to hug Addison, kill Maria was one of them but that one was a bit absurd. He wanted to scream, he wanted to whisper comforting words but there he sat, looking at his mother with his eyes wide open. "Really?"

''Really.'' She nodded.

"I don't ever want to see that woman again." Derek said simply, meaning every word he just said. But he knew he had to.

''You will see her in like a week.''

"I know and that makes me want to scream at her."

''Der, you can't do that.''

"I know, I know..." Derek shook his head. "But... she's a complete bitch, to her own daughter."

''I know she is.''

"Do you think that's why Addison started losing weight? And why she thinks she doesn't look good?"

''I think that, deep down, Addison is a very, very unhappy girl...and that has nothing to do with anything you ever said or did. That's all I'm saying.''

"You really, really, really think so?"

''Honestly, yes.''

"Oh... what should I do? I'm doing the best I can here. The best I know."

''What do you mean?''

"What can I do? I can't have her doubting herself all the time."

''I know but I don't know, talk to her about it.''

"Yeah, I should talk to her about it." Derek nodded at her, giving her a small smile. "You know... I tell her I love her at least ten times a day, tell her how beautiful she is every time I see her. And... I really mean it, every single time. I don't get why someone doesn't think so too."

''You mean her mother?''

"Yeah."

''I think she's jealous of Addi.''

"You think she's jealous of Addi."

''Yeah I do. And she has had her lips and face done, you can tell.''

"Yeah? You think so?" Derek leaned closer like they were going to gossip.

''Come on Der, have you ever looked at that woman?''

"I don't have any want to, I think she looks like donkey's... uhm backside."

Theresa chuckled. ''Ass you mean?''

"Exactly." Derek let out a laugh. "I was just trying to put it nicely."

''Hmhmm. But really, she's like a stick and has had plastic surgery done and she keeps pointing our Addison's non-existing flaws so yeah, I believe she's jealous of her own daughter.''

"Yeah could be. I'd be jealous of Addison if I was a woman." Derek nodded. Theresa chuckled. ''Trust me, you would.''

Derek let a laugh escape. "She's gorgeous."

''Yeah she definitely is.''

He smiled. "I'm so lucky to have her, you know?"

''You are both happy to have each other.''

"Yeah I know I love her so much and sometimes I don't even know why she married me, she's like above me..."

''Above you?'' Theresa frowned.

"Yeah she's this gorgeous Aussie girl and I'm like... you know, me."

''A smart, talented, handsome and lovely man?''

"Thanks mom but sometimes she just seems too good to be true."

''Why?''

He shrugged. "Because she's amazing."

''So are you.''

He smiled at his mother softly, sipping the rest of his coffee. "Yeah, but she's mine, she's my better half."

''She is.''

He smiled. "Yeah, I love her so much."

''I know you do honey.'' Theresa smiled.

"But anyway... how are things at home? It's been a while." Well, a week.

''Good, normal.''

"Okay... that's good."

''It is.'' She nodded.

"So, you know how dad's work is going? I heard he had some big project going on."

''I have no idea honestly.''

"Seriously? Why?"

''Just haven't talked about it.''

"Okay." Derek shrugged. Theresa nodded.

"I should take the kids home soon-ish." Derek stated, looking at them through the big window.

''Why?''

"Lunch." He gave his mother a smile.

''I can fix something here if you want to?''

"That'd be great, thanks." He smiled again.

''What do you want me to make?''

"I don't know, it's really up to you but the kids have a thing for pasta now."

''I'll make some pasta then.'' Theresa chuckled. ''Do you want that as well?''

"Please." Derek let out a laugh. "I love pasta, you know that."

''I'll fix some pasta.'' She smiled widely and got up.

"Thanks, do you need any help?" He knew he'd just be in her way but still he had to ask.

''It's just pasta, I'll be fine.''

Derek gave her a smile. "I'll go check on dad and the kids then."

''I'll call you when it's done.''

"Thanks again." Derek said as he walked out of the house and into the garden that would have a florist jealous, well not maybe a florist but it indeed did make old lady Mrs. Pearce from the next door pretty damn jealous.

"Hey hunny." He picked up his daughter and looked at Justin who was playing 'you're it' or something like that with Gabriel.

"Swirl me around!"

Derek laughed, starting to swirl his little girl around.

''Yaaaaaay!'' She giggled loudly, her little fingers clutching around his arms. Derek smiled at Hailey, carefully carrying on doing what he was doing.

''Faster daddy faster!''

"Hold on tight sweetie." He tightened his grip, starting to do it faster.

''I am!'' She yelled loudly, giggling carelessly. Derek laughed, few moments later slowing down before stopping. "Not too much so that your little head doesn't get dizzy okay?" Derek softly brushed her hair.

''Okay!'' She laughed. Derek chuckled, sitting on a bench in the garden. "Dad are you it?" Derek referred to their game as he watched his father chase Justin.

''Yes!'' Gabriel laughed.

Derek laughed at his father. "Run Justin, you can run faster than him!"

Justin ran as fast as his short legs could manage, looking behind him the entire time to check that his grandfather wasn't too close. Hailey ran to her brother, starting to run with him, away from Gabriel. "Me too grandpa! Me too!" She yelled excitedly, making Derek laugh even harder, this was just way too cute.

''Oh you two are running your old grandpa into the ground!'' Gabriel chuckled, panting as he ran after the two toddlers.

"Dad don't run too fast, don't stress your OLD heart!" Derek clasped a hand in front of his mouth before starting to laugh again as the twins giggled loudly.

''Hey!''

Derek somehow managed to not laugh while he gave Gabriel a grin.

Soon Gabriel caught the two. Hailey giggled and tried to escape the grip. "Nooo!" She carried on giggling.

''Yeeees!''

Hailey laughed again. "Not fair! You cheated!"

''How??'' Gabriel held onto them.

"You really have three legs!" Justin made up a reason and Derek began laughing again.

''I do not!''

"You're just hiding it!" Hailey continued.

''No you little aliens.'' He joked. Justin laughed at Gabriel, starting to tickle him. "Help Hails!"

Hailey tried to squint away.

"Ughhhhhh." Justin somehow managed to sneak away, jumping excitedly once he did. "YAY!"

''Hey!''

The little boy began running towards the bench where Derek was sat.

"Daddy help!''

"Hide behind the bench!" Derek guided his son, trying not to laugh. Justin quickly crawled under the bench behind his father's legs. Derek held his legs together as they saw Gabriel walking towards them. "Don't. Move. Don't. Talk." He muttered from the corner of his mouth. Justin took this very serious and sat there motionless.

Derek had hard time trying not to laugh. "Hi dad."

''Hello Derek. Have you seen your son?'' Gabriel played along.

"No, I think I haven't, are you looking for him?" Derek couldn't keep his poker-face on.

''Hmhmm I am.'' He feigned seriousness. Derek clasped a hand in front of his mouth before continuing. "Oh really? I think he went that way." He pointed to his left.

''Oh I'll look there then.'' He started to walk left. Few moments later Derek doubled over, looking at Justin from between his legs. "Route clear." He whispered. Justin ran away quickly, his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth. Gabriel saw the boy running and quickly caught him. ''Ha I got you!''

Derek laughed at the scene, Hailey wrapped her arms around Justin as well. "We got you!"

''Oh no, now I'm caught!''

Hailey grinned widely. "YES YOU ARE!"

''Oh bummer!''

Hailey giggled loudly and hugged him. "It's okay, you'll grow up someday and realize it's not all about _you're it_ anymore." She said proudly, this was clearly something she had learned from a day-time soap-opera. Gabriel burst out in loud laughter. Derek carried on laughing, when did these kids turn out to be this smart?? Hailey smiled proudly. Justin climbed all over Gabriel. Hailey hugged his grandfather's leg. Gabriel smiled at them just as Theresa walked outside. ''Guess what grandma made!''

"What did grandma make?!" Hailey looked at her with her eyes wide open.

''Pasta!''

"YAY!" Both of the kids let go of Gabriel, starting to run towards the house.

''Pasta river!!'' Justin yelled as he ran inside.

"See? They're dumping you for food." Derek laughed as he nudged his old man once he reached him.

''Shut up and help your old man up.''

Derek grinned and offered him his hands so that he could pull him up. "Fine."

''Thank you.'' Gabriel got up.

"No problem." Derek smiled at him widely. "Shall we go get some pasta?"

''Yeah, sounds great.''

"Let's go then." Derek and Gabriel began walking to the house.

A little while later they were all settled at the table. Hailey was already eating, the fork moving between her mouth and the plate with rapid pace as she ate. After a few seconds Derek's cell phone rang. "Excuse me." Derek got up from the table and answered his phone, walking out of the room. "Hi Addie."

_''Hey sweetheart.''_

"How are you?" He asked with a smile on his face as he sat on the couch.

_''Good, good. Missing home.''_

"Yeah? We're at my parents' now. How's school?"

_''Long, and hard.''_

"Yeah that's what it usually is."

_''Yeah...''_

"I miss you."

_''I miss you too, a lot.''_

He smiled, holding the phone close to his ear. "Well I miss you way more."

_''So not true.''_

"Ah, so true." Derek smiled widely again. "Have I ever told you I loved you?"

_''Hmm once or twice.''_ She smiled.

"I love you Addie, there, three times."

_''I love love love you Der.''_

He let out a laugh. "I love love love love you Addison Forbes Shepherd."

Theresa was heard chuckling on the back ground as she heard her son and Addison smiled on the phone, one reason of that being that he left out the Montgomery part.

"I know I left out the Montgomery part but I really really really like calling you Shepherd even more so yeah, get used to it." Derek rambled slightly.

_''I like being called Addison Shepherd a 100 times better than Addison Montgomery or Montgomery-Shepherd.''_

"Oh, that's good to know." Derek smiled widely to the phone, happy to hear this because, he loved calling her Shepherd, way more than calling her Montgomery-Shepherd.

_''Hmm it is.''_ She smiled softly.

"I love you Addison." He suddenly had a weird urge to say it again.

_''I love you too baby.''_

"Hmm, will you call me on a break?" Derek asked, looking at the clock.

_''I already am.''_

"Will you call me on the next break too?"

_''I will, Milla is sitting in front of me with Mark and I'm being completely rude here calling you.''_ She laughed, looking at her friends.

"Oh okay." Derek let out a laugh, he could so picture Addison doing something like that. "Tell them hi from me."

_''I will if you tell them to stop laughing at my voice!''_

Milla was clinging onto Mark, laughing against his shoulder helplessly

"Cause of the accent?" Derek grinned, trying to hold back his laugh.

_''Yes!''_ Addison hit her friend's head.

_"Ouch!"_ She exclaimed. _"Derek your wife is abusing me!"_

_''Shut up, you're laughing at me!''_

Milla laughed again, it was just way too funny.

"Tell Milla I said that my wife has every right to." Derek spoke, holding a hand on his mouth after that so that any laughs wouldn't escape.

_''Derek says I have every right to slap you.'' _Addison stuck out her tongue. Derek laughed softly at the loud gasp that was heard from Milla.

_''I hate you, you guys are the worst friends in the entire universe.''_

_"Not true!"_ Mark said through chuckling, offering her a smile. "And the accent... it's not that bad." He let out a laugh.

_''Then why are you laughing?!''_

_"It's just... Aussie."_ He laughed again as Milla nodded.

_''Yes?'' _Addison raised her eyebrow at them.

_"I'm not used to the accent, you haven't talked like that in a long time."_ He was still chuckling.

_''So? Mark if you don't stop sniggering right now I swear to god you will never have sex again!''_

Mark's eyes widened and Derek burst out in laughter on the other end of the line. _"FINE I STOPPED, SEE?"_ He pulled a serious face as quickly as he could.

_''Why thank you.''_ Addison grinned.

_"Welcome."_ Milla tried to do the same as Mark, still a smile was tugging her lips.

_''You two need to lay each other, seriously.''_

Milla rolled her eyes. Addison chuckled to herself and laid against the backrest of the chair. _''So I've talked to you for like 5 minutes now without mentioning anything, how are the twins?''_

"Good, they're eating pasta at the moment. Before, they were chasing Gabriel in the garden, it was... great. I love our kids, and Hailey, she's such an amazing little girl. I bet she quoted some cheesy soap-opera. She said something like 'Someday you'll grow up and realize that you're it isn't the most important thing'." Derek rambled about their day so far.

_''Aww.''_ Addison smiled widely. _''I wish I were there to see that.''_

"Yeah, I wish you were here." Derek smiled as well, hugging his other knee close to his chest.

_''Are you still at your parents?''_

"Yeah we're leaving after lunch I think."

_''Oh, well give them my love.''_

"Yeah I will. I'll tell the kids that mommy said hi."

_''Tell them I love them and that I will be home soon and give them a hug and a kiss from me.''_

"I will, promise. I love you Addison." He said once more.

_''I love you too.''_ A big smile spread over her face.

"See you soon." Derek knew it wasn't going to be soon enough.

_''Hmm I miss you.''_

"I miss you too, so much."

_''Four more hours.''_

"Four long hours..." He sighed.

_''Yeah and you get to play with the twins while I cut open cadavers.''_

Derek let out a small laugh. "Good luck with that."

_''Yeah thanks. Anyway I should go I have Pathology now. Don't forget to tell the kids I love them.''_

"I won't, I love you Addie." Derek smiled to the phone softly, exchanging goodbyes and I love yous once more with her and then finally hanging up, a sigh leaving his lips.

_''I love you too baby.''_

He walked back into the kitchen, making a smile. Theresa looked at her son as he walked back into the kitchen. He walked to Justin, gently wiping his mouth. "Mommy loves you very much, she'll be back soon." He placed a kiss on the little boy's lips.

''Now?'' He asked with big expectant eyes.

"In a few hours, mommy has to be at school today." Derek placed another kiss on the boy's forehead before starting to walk towards Hailey.

''Why?''

"Mommy has to study too. Hails, mommy told me that I should tell you that she loves you too, so much." He placed a kiss on the little girl's lips that were covered in sauce. "And she told that I should give you a kiss from mommy."

Hailey giggled when she saw her father's face was now covered in pasta. Derek screwed up his face and sat on his chair, wiping his mouth to his napkin. Hailey continued to giggle as she watched him, taking another big spoon of spaghetti. Derek laughed at his little girl whole heartedly, starting to eat.

''How was it at school?'' Theresa asked, worried about the whole Nicole thing.

"It was okay, as far as I know." He added, giving his mother a smile. "She was complaining about it being bored though."

''Yeah? What classes did she have?''

"She's having pathology now." Derek made a smile. Theresa cringed. He laughed at his mother, taking another forkful of food. "So... what happened while I was gone?"

''Nothing really, except for the twins nearly disappearing in pasta.''

Derek laughed at her. "Yeah, that's a given."

''Oh by the way Derek I want you to do something.''

"To do something?" Derek raised his eyebrows. "What is it?"

''Call your sisters before you leave to Australia.''

"Yeah, I should probably." He smiled softly.

''Have you even called them lately?''

"Uhm... not really. I was being quite busy, but it's not like they've called me either."

''Do they know you're going to be a father again?''

"God... they don't." Derek shook his head.

Theresa sighed. ''What? Are you just gonna send them a card when the baby is born?''

"I don't... mom look we're going to wait till the first trimester is done, just to be sure." He gave her a look.

Theresa frowned. ''Everyone here knows already.''

"Yeah, well you're my parents."

''The kids know, your friends know, the school does.''

"Our friends and school found out. We didn't tell them."

''Still, you know your friends. Do you want your sisters to find out through someone else?''

"God... we should call them."

''I honestly expected you to call them immediately, at least Nancy, you did that with the twins.''

"Yeah but with the twins Addison didn't have cramps in the first few weeks, that was completely different."

''What do you mean?''

"She hasn't had morning sickness anymore." Derek said cautiously. "So please... we don't want them to get all happy about this when we're not sure of what the next day will bring."

''Oh...''

"Yes so... we'll call them but we just need a bit more time." Derek looked at Hailey and Justin who luckily were busy talking to each other, at the same time of course.

''Yeah I get it, I'm sorry, I didn't know.''

"Yeah, it's okay. You didn't know." Derek made a small sad smile. "But we're strong, she's strong. We'll get through this."

''You will.'' Theresa nodded. ''I know you will and Der, there's no reason for this to go... wrong.''

He nodded, giving a small sigh. "Yeah."

''You're both young and healthy and Addison hasn't done anything like heavy lifting, drinking or anything.''

He nodded again. "But sometimes it just goes wrong, you know there's a chance."

''Why? Why is there a chance?''

"I don't know, she's stressed, there was the almost-D-I-V-O-R-C-E thing going on."

''Yeah but that's in the past and what is she stressed about?''

"I don't know, it's hard you know? Marriage is never easy and there are the self-doubts..."

''Self-doubts?''

"Yeah, about her looks and everything."

''What's with her looks?''

"Nothing, that's what I keep telling her."

''I don't get it.'' Theresa said confused.

"She... she thinks she's fat and ugly."

''What?!''

"Yeah, it's crazy."

''But... why?!''

"I don't know at all." Derek shook his head.

''Do you wanna talk... in private?''

He shook his head. "I'm okay. I don't need to."

''You know you can Der.''

"There's nothing to talk about it, we're okay. We're trying to figure it out."

''Okay.'' She nodded, backing off.

"Thanks though." He gave her a grateful smile.

''No problem.''

He looked at his son, who was talking to Hailey about ducks with enthusiasm. Hailey listened to her twin brother with all her attention.

"And that's why they have only two legs!" He ended his story with a wide grin on his face.

''Wow! How do you know that??'' She asked in awe.

"Because I'm smart!" Justin gave her another grin as his father chuckled. Hailey giggled. Justin smiled widely and dug into his food.

''I wanna be as smart as you!''

"Everyone does." Justin mumbled with his mouth full of spaghetti. Gabriel rolled his eyes at his grandson. Derek just chuckled. "You know where you got that smartness from?" Derek nudged the little boy gently, a proud grin on his face.

''Mommy.'' He nodded convinced.

"And daddy" Derek added, giving his son a look.

''And daddy.'' Justin quickly added. Derek laughed softly, shaking his head. "Good boy."

Justin grinned widely. Derek placed a small kiss on his son's hair and then looked at his father. "How's work?"

''Good, busy.''

"Always is." Derek nodded.

''Mhm true.''

Derek nodded, taking another forkful. "How's the project going then? Good?"

''Yeah although we're late on the schedule.''

"Ah that'd make things a bit more complicated, you have to stay late nights now?"

''Technically yes but I try to get home as soon as possible.''

"Of course you will." Derek made a smile. "But I hope you catch up you're schedule."

''Yeah me too, thanks.'' Gabriel gave his son a smile. Derek gave his father one more smile and carried on eating.


	24. There's a first time for everything

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 24 – There's a first time for everything_

**Flashback**

_"Oh dear god please tell me we can burn this picture!" Derek looked at a picture in his hand shocked, it was a picture of him with his lips pouted together and he hadn't quite realised that maybe earrings didn't look too good on him._

_''Aww it's cute.'' A 16 year old Addison smiled as they sat on his bed, her head on his shoulder as they went through pictures._

_"It is not!" Derek let out a laugh, holding the picture on a hand-length so that she wouldn't be able to take it from him._

_''I think it is.'' She gave him a small peck on his cheek. He gave her a soft peck on the lips. "Well of course, that's a given."_

_She smiled widely at him. He smiled back at her, giving her a soft peck again before turning back to the photos. She snuggled closer to wrapped his arm around her and looked at another picture. "My my..." Derek grinned at a picture of her in her new bikini._

_''Shut up.'' She chuckled._

_"What? I think it's a... cute picture." He coughed a little._

_''Shut up you liar.'' She nudged him. He laughed. "What? I think it's hot." He grinned at the picture again. She rolled her eyes and grabbed away the picture. ''Why are you staring at a picture of me when I'm sitting right next to you?''_

_"It's not like I can be staring at you like that." He shrugged at her before turning to look at her._

_''Why not?'' She looked into his eyes._

_"What? You want me to stare at your boobs?" He looked back into hers._

_''Well it's not like you ever do it.''_

_He tilted his head to the side a bit and shrugged. "I'm not going to comment on that."_

_''Why not?''_

_He shrugged. "God Addie you really want to talk about your pretty boobs?"_

_She rolled her eyes at him. ''I meant that you never look at me in THAT way.''_

"_You think I don't?"_

_''No.'' She shrugged, it had been bothering her for a while. He shrugged, giving her a soft kiss on the lips. "I thought it'd make you feel uncomfortable or something... __I mean, you're a girl and all... so."_

_''Well I don't know.. .I think it would make me feel you know... attractive...'' She bit on her bottom lip._

_"Oh..." Derek looked at her, raising his eyebrows. "OH!"_

_''Oh?''_

_"Oh, you think I don't think you look attractive?" Derek raised his eyebrows again. She shrugged. ''You never make me feel like it, not in that way.''_

_"Oh... really?" He gently rubbed her hip. "Look Addison, I think you're the sexiest girl in school okay?"_

_''Oh...''_

_He placed a small kiss on her cheek. "Yeah, so don't feel bad about it okay, I just... you look hot."_

_''Thanks...''_

_"Anytime." He looked at the end of the bed, at their feet._

_''Yeah...'' She did the same._

_Derek's foot moved towards hers and it gently touched hers. She laid her leg over his, looking at his jeans clad and her half bare leg. His toes played with hers softly, it was summer and neither one of them was wearing socks. She smiled softly. He gave her a smile back, taking her hand in his. She lent in and gave him a soft kiss. He gently kissed her back, keeping the kiss light. After a few seconds she started to deepen their kiss. His hand moved so that his arms were wrapped around her waist. He ran his tongue over her lip. She shifted so she was partially lying over him as she parted her lips. He slowly slipped his tongue into her mouth, a little moan leaving his lips. Her hand sneaked under his shirt hesitantly. He gasped lightly, letting his tongue roam her mouth slowly. She ran her hand over his muscled stomach as their tongues duel. Another small moan left his lips as his hands moved a bit more downwards, towards her butt. She moved higher up his body a little. His hands gently laid on her firm butt, holding it softly. She pushed her body against his. He moaned again, silently against her lips. Derek's hands gently squeezed her butt as if he was testing the limits. Her legs parted so his was between them. He brought her even closer, his hands touching her back, softly rubbing, tenderly brushing. Her hand wandered over his stomach. Another light moan left his lips and he rubbed her leg with his. She carefully let her fingers play with his belt. He tensed a little but let her do what she was doing as he slowly lifted the hem of her shirt, slowly and cautiously. _

_After a while she had undone his belt, hoping he wouldn't mind. Her shirt now reached her breasts, he didn't know what to do or how she'd react. She continued kissing him. He broke away from the kiss for a moment, taking off her shirt. She looked into his eyes, then removing his shirt. He looked back into her eyes, holding her close to him before looking down her body and to her breasts. She felt herself nervous as he looked at her. A smile tugged at his lips before he brought them to hers. She instantly kissed him. He moaned softly against her lips, his hands moving onto her butt again just when the door was being opened._

_''Derek I--'' Theresa Shepherd looked at them with her eyes wide open._

_"Oh god.." Gabriel, Derek's father, looked at them shocked, did his son have his hands on that poor girl's ass?! Addison immediately pulled back embarrassed, keeping her shirt in front of her chest. Derek just lay there, looking at his parents in disbelief. "Uhm..."_

_''Derek what is this?!''_

_"Mom... don't freak out okay... it's only touching."_

_His father's eyes were wide open, Derek was almost afraid that his eyes would fall off._

_''Touching?! Touching what?!''_

_"Uhm..." Derek's cheeks flushed._

_''Yes?''_

_"Each other?" He suggested, making his father give him an angry look._

_"You're 16 Derek, 16."_

_''I'm sorry.'' Addison said barely audible._

_"Sorry mom..." Derek said as well, gently rubbing his forehead._

_''I get that you're teenagers but you're not old enough to know what you are doing.''_

_Derek sighed at his parents._

_"You're not old enough Derek, sex, you need to be older for having it. You're not responsible enough for having it."_

_''You can't deal with those consequences.''_

_Derek shook his head at them. "Like I said, it was only touching."_

_''Tell me it was gonna stay there.''_

_"It was going to stay there." Derek sighed at his mother as his father shook his head._

_"You're not ready for it Derek, I know you have these feelings but you should wait."_

_Addison shifted uncomfortably._

_"Look, could you like uhm... leave the room?"_

_Theresa gave them one last look before leaving. Gabriel shook his head as he left the room, closing the door. Addison sighed when they left, not sure what to say._

_"That was... awkward." Derek stared at the door._

_''Yeah...''_

_"I can't believe that just happened." He shook his head a little. She shifted again, crossing her legs. Derek turned to look at her, this was way beyond worse. She looked at her feet. He moved a bit closer to her, placing a light kiss on her cheek. She looked into his eyes. He made a small smile, brushing some hair off her face. She kissed him. Not even a second later he kissed her back, softly stroking her cheek with his thumb. She ran her hand over his chest. Derek softly pulled her a bit closer, loving her hands on his skin. She unbuttoned his jeans. He moved so that he was hovering over her, not taking his lips off of hers. She then unzipped his pants. He slowly inched her skirt downwards but there wasn't going to be any success without her lifting his hips. She hesitantly lifted her hips for him. He pushed the skirt off her hips, breaking away from the kiss so that he could look into her eyes, ask for approval. She felt herself shake from nervousness._

_"Are you sure?" He asked, biting on his lip a little. She nodded her head. He nodded as well, a smile lingering on his lips. She leaned up to kiss his jaw. He moaned softly at the touch before letting his hand move up her thigh. She parted her legs a little. Cautiously he moved his hand onto her inner thigh, his fingertips barely touching the skin._

_''Derek you do have like... condoms right?''_

_"Uhm... I should." He bit on his lip, wondering how she'd react to this._

_''You should?'' She raised her eyebrow._

_"Yeah... in the nightstand, just in case... you know."_

_''Just in case?''_

_"Yeah..." He shrugged._

_''Have you ever done it before?''_

_He shook his head. "Have you?"_

_''What do you think?''_

_He nodded. "Stupid question."_

_''Yeah it was.''_

_"Are you sure you want to? I don't want to pressure you into doing it." Derek spoke softly, at the same time gently rubbing her thigh._

_''You're not, you're really not.''_

_He nodded at her, giving her a smile. "That's good."_

_''Are you too?''_

_He nodded. "Yeah, I want you more than anything."_

_''Good, that's good.'' She smiled. He smiled back at her, softly pecking her lips. She played with the hem of his boxers. He started kissing her neck, softly nibbling it. Her eyes fluttered close. Derek sucked on her neck lightly, his other hand moving under her back, trying to unclasp her bra. She shifted slightly so he could reach it better. After a few moments he managed to unclasp her bra and slowly took it off. She let the straps slide down her shoulders. He bit on his lip at the sight, taking a deep breath before kissing her neck again. She closed her eyes, letting out soft breaths. He slowly lowered his kisses to her collarbone, sucking softly as his hand gently rubbed her thigh. She let out a small moan. He smiled, allowing his other hand move up her body, only brushing over it slightly. She ran her fingers over his stomach. A little moan left his lips at her touch, slowly moving his kisses back onto her lips. She started kissing him harder. He kissed her back with passion, slowly touching her breast. She grabbed his arm and put his hand on her breast. He cupped it, his tongue parting her lips as he began massaging her breast in circles. She moaned against his mouth._

_He could feel his erection growing against her as their bodies were pressed up against each other. She started tugging at his boxers. He moaned into her mouth as their tongues danced together and he carried on the massage, rubbing his thumb over her nipple lightly. She pushed her chest against his hand as she pulled down his boxers. He moved his hand off of her breast and placed kisses down her neck and then moving south while his hand reached for her panties. She felt herself tensing up. He gently rubbed her hip, letting her know it was all going to be okay. His kisses gently hit her other breast. She wrapped her arms around his waist. He linked his fingers around her panties and began to pull them down. She closed her eyes, telling herself to keep her nerves down. He moved his kisses back to her lips, giving her tender, short and soft kisses._

_''Condom?''_

_"Yeah." He nodded, moving a little above her as he reached for the drawer. "Are you absolutely sure?"_

_''Yeah...I think so.''_

_"And I'm not hurrying you into anything... right?" His other hand caressed her cheek while he reached for a packet of condoms._

_''You're not, you're really not.''_

_He gave her a short peck on the lips before opening the package._

_''Are you too?''_

_"Yeah." He nodded his head, taking a condom. He gave her a smile. "Just tell me if you're hurting or if you're uncomfortable okay?" He said after placing the condom where it belong._

_''Yeah.'' She looked down his body. ''Impressive.''_

_He gave her a look before chuckling. "Thank you."_

_''Welcome.'' She chuckled as well._

_Derek smiled at her before bringing his lips back to hers. She softly kissed him. He kissed her back, settling over her again while his hand fingers moved up her thigh again. She shifted on his bed. He pulled back from the kiss a bit and looked into her eyes. "Are you okay?"_

_''Yeah...why?''_

_He gave her a smile, slowly kissing her. "Because I just needed to be sure."_

_''Okay, well I'm fine.'' She gave him a reassuring smile. ''Just scared a little.''_

_"Yeah... me too." Derek began to brush her cheek softly._

_''Why are you?''_

_"I just don't want to hurt you okay, and this is the first time and all... you?"_

_''Well I'm scared it will hurt and all... yeah...''_

_He pecked her lips softly. "Look, just tell me if you're hurting and we can stop."_

_''I will, and if you want to stop, tell me as well okay?''_

_"Yeah, I will." He promised, slowly giving her a kiss._

_''Good.'' She softly kissed him back._

_"Yeah.." He moaned lightly against her lips. She wrapped her leg around his waist hesitantly. He corrected their position a little. "You ready..?"_

_''I think so...''_

_"Yeah..." He placed his lips on hers._

_''Just... please, go slow okay?''_

_He nodded his head. "Trust me on this."_

_''I do... I trust you.''_

_"I love you." He whispered against her lips, looking into her eyes. She softly kissed his lips, looking back into his eyes. ''I love you too.''_

_He smiled and closed his eyes, kissing her more intense by every second. Her hands were on his back as they kissed passionately. Slowly, cautiously he moved his hips a bit closer to hers so that his erection was against her. She let out a moan in anticipation though she could feel that her whole body was tense. He gently pushed into her opening, biting on his lip. ''Slow.'' He nodded, softly stroking her cheek with his thumb, stopping for a moment before pushing again a little. She bit on her lip. "Are you in pain?" He stopped, placing a comforting kiss on her cheek. She shook her head. At least not that much... yet. He placed few more kisses on her cheek before going a bit more deeper. Her hands gripped his back tightly as she winced. Derek planted few kisses on her lips. "Shh... do you want to stop?" He asked, he didn't want his girl to suffer._

_''No it's just... you're too big.''_

_"Oh." Derek looked at her a bit shocked before slowly giving her a kiss._

_''Yeah... so just go slow, really really slow please.''_

_He nodded his head at her words. "I will." He placed his lips on hers as he moved just a bit more, not much._

_''Thanks...''_

_"No problem." He mumbled against her lips, giving her a few moments before moving again. She winced again._

_"Shh" He brushed her cheek, placing kisses on the another one. "Shh... it's okay..."_

_''It hurts.''_

_"I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." He mumbled against her cheek._

_''It's not your fault really...''_

_"Are you sure you want to continue?" He began brushing her hair. She nodded._

_"Okay I'm going to move again, you can hold me if you need to." He whispered after a moment. She nodded again, her hands holding onto his sides. He pushed a bit, softly kissing her on the lips. A painful moan left her lips. He pulled back from the kiss, softly rubbing her cheek. "Shhh..."_

_''Seriously this isn't going to work, you're too big.''_

_He gently brushed her cheek, giving a small sigh. "I'm sorry."_

_''Not your fault.''_

_"Yeah... I guess not." He mumbled, still stroking her cheek._

_''Just...__'' She sighed._

_"Yeah?" He said, pressing a small kiss on her shoulder._

_''I just.. .I wish this was different.''_

_"Yeah, me too." Derek sighed, leaning his forehead against hers._

_''I'm sorry...'' She whispered._

_"It's not your fault." He whispered back to her._

_''It is...''_

_He shook his head. "It really isn't."_

_''If it wasn't for me then we would be doing it by now...''_

_He shook his head again powerfully. "No, look Addison, it's not your fault."_

_''How isn't it?''_

_"Well it's just... it's the first time and I know it hurts, it's not your fault that you're hurting."_

_''I keep tensing up so it is.''_

_"No it's not, really." He placed a small kiss on her lips._

_''I'm sorry... I wanted this to be magical... or well at least good...''_

_A smile tugged at his lips, brushing a stray of hair behind her ear. "It will be."_

_''How?'' She looked into his eyes._

_"I know it will be." He looked back into hers, giving her a smile._

_''How?'' She asked again._

_"I don't know." Derek softly brushed her cheek. "But someday it will be, I promise."_

_''Someday?''_

_"Yeah, I get it if you don't want to... do it now."_

_''I do but... I just don't... I can't, physically.''_

_Derek nodded his head, giving her a small sad smile._

_''I really am sorry.''_

_"I get it, it's okay."_

_''So... I'm sorry for letting you down...''_

_He placed his lips against hers. "Shut up Addison, you don't have to be sorry. You're just not ready yet, look I get it."_

_She looked at him with sad eyes. Derek made her a sad smile, giving her one more short kiss._

_''Do you want to try at least for a little...?''_

_He nodded his head a little. "I'm asking once more, are you sure?"_

_''Yeah.''_

_He made her one more smile, kissing her softly. She gently kissed him back. He slowly and cautiously moved a bit deeper. She let out a deep breath, closing her eyes. He watched her reaction, waiting for a moment. ''Go on.'' He slowly pushed a bit further, starting to kiss her passionately. She heatedly kissed him back, feeling that it actually lessened the pain. Derek's hand moved to her hip while the other one kept him balanced as he pushed all the way, filling her completely. This time it was a moan of pleasure that left her lips. He let out a moan, his hand gripping the sheet as he let her adjust to his size. Her breath already started to get heavier, feeling the pain fade as she nodded her head, letting him know she was ready. He kissed her neck, sucking on it a little as he began moving his hips against hers in a slow pace. She let out staggered moans. He carried on the movement, sucking on her neck rather powerfully. She wrapped a second leg around his waist. He moaned softly against her skin, keeping the same pace._

_''Not too fast.'' She whispered._

_"Not too fast." He repeated in a whisper, slowing down a little, his hand cupping her breast._

_''Thanks.'' She breathed._

_"No problem." He replied, slowly kissing her collarbone. She placed a kiss on his neck. He began massaging her breast, planting kisses along her neck. She threw her head back against the pillow, letting out a series of moans. He kissed her throat, sucking on it lightly, maybe at one point biting a little. She squeezed herself around him. A little bit louder moan left his lips at her actions before he brought his lips back to hers. She started kissing him, her hips moving in sync with his. He moaned against her lips and the pace became a little faster. She ran her fingers up and down his back. His tongue parted her lips and attacked her tongue. She felt herself getting closer as their tongues duelled with each other. Their hips moved together, his hand grabbed the sheets a bit tighter._

_''Are you coming?'' She whispered._

_"Soon, you?" Derek whispered back, kissing behind her ear._

_''I don't know.''_

_Derek softly kissed her cheek. "What do you mean by that?"_

_''I don't know if I can.'' She looked into his eyes. He looked into hers, slowing down the pace a little to keep himself from coming. "You don't know if you can?"_

_''I don't know how to...''_

_"Me neither but... it should just you know, happen. Right?"_

_''I really don't know...''_

_He placed a slow kiss on her lips. "We'll figure it out."_

_''If you're close then just finish okay?''_

_"God Addison, this is your first time, I'm not going to make you not come. That'd be a bad memory, I don't want that to us."_

_''Honey I'm just saying you can because else we could be lying here for hours.''_

_"I don't mind laying here with you for hours." He slowly brushed a stay of hair off her face._

_''Hmm I bet your parents disagree.'' She smiled at him._

_"Yeah..." He smiled back at her, caressing her cheek with his other hand. _

_''Think they'll be angry?''_

_"They won't know, right?" Derek asked._

_''I think they already do...''_

_"They don't have the right to be angry..."_

_''Why not?''_

_"I'm not a kid, you're not a kid." He shrugged._

_''I don't think they agree with that.''_

_"Addison I love you, they have nothing to do with our relationship. Okay?"_

_''I don't want them to be angry at us.''_

_Derek gave her a smile. "Me neither..."_

_''Anyway… continue?''_

_"Yeah... but you know... we're going to stay in the bed till you come." He placed his lips on hers._

_''No.'' She rolled her eyes. He laughed against her lips. "Yes we are."_

_''Der.''_

_He placed a kiss on her lips. "Ads."_

_''Shut up and do me, I don't care if I come or not.''_

_Derek kissed her on the mouth passionately, in a slow, careful speed he began to move his hips. She moaned into his mouth. He let out a moan, letting his hand roam over her body, her thigh, stomach and finally his hand landed on her breast, he already had a thing for it._

_''I think I'm... coming.''_

_"Me... too." He managed to mumble before returning his lips to hers, once more letting the pace grow a bit. Her moans grew louder as she felt her muscles contract. A loud moan escaped his lips and he kissed her powerfully with tongue. After a few seconds her orgasm crashed over her and she moaned out his name. A thrust later he joined her, her name rolling off his tongue over and over again, moaning it. He had never felt this good. Her breath was laboured and she held onto him tightly. He tried to catch his breath, his chest moving rapidly, his eyes still closed._

_''Wow...'' She breathed heavily._

_"Amazing..." His mouth was hanging open when he let his eyes open._

_''I love you.''_

_"I love you too, so much." He placed a short kiss on her lips. She smiled at him, pecking his lips. Derek smiled back at her widely, pecking her back softly, slowly releasing her breast. She wrapped her arms around his neck, looking into his eyes. He placed a small kiss on her lips. "You're beautiful, you know that right?"_

_''Thanks.'' She smiled. ''You're handsome and uhm... big.''_

_He laughed at the last one. "Thanks."_

_''Well it's true.''_

_"Well thank you." He shook his head, chuckling a little._

_''Hmm you're welcome.'' She held him close. He hugged her close to him, placing a small kiss on her neck, never planning on letting go._

_''By the way, thanks for this.''_

_"For what this?" He asked._

_''For having sex with me.''_

_A smile tugged at his lips. "Believe me, you never need to thank me for doing that with you."_

_''Thanks.'' She smiled and then chuckled. ''I love you.''_

_He let out a laugh before placing his lips on hers, the kiss telling more than the three words, the kiss told it all. I love you, I adore you, you're my everything, you're mine, I'm yours._

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a Wednesday night and the two of them were sat at the porch swing, looking up at the sky with it's countless stars. "You wanna go lay on the grass?" Derek asked a moment later, they had used to do that in their younger years.

''Play on the grass?'' She chuckled, snuggled up against him as she looked at the sky.

"Lay, play..." He let out a laugh, kissing the top of her head tenderly.

''Hmm.'' She shifted so she was laying with her head in his lap. He slowly brushed her hair, looking at the sky. "It's so pretty."

''It is, and there's a full moon.'' She smiled.

"Yeah, it's beautiful, just like the woman I'm sharing it with." Derek looked at the moon that seemed even bigger than normally. Addison smiled softly at him. He smiled widely before looking at the moon again.

''Honey?''

"Yes sugar?" He asked softly.

''Are you happy?'' She looked into his eyes. He looked into her eyes for a moment, thinking. "Yeah, I'm happy, we have crappy times but yeah... I'm happy."

''Really?''

He nodded his head, giving her a light kiss on the lips. "Are you? Happy?"

''I am.''

"That's really good." He smiled.

''Hmhmm.''

"You wanna talk about something?" He asked, looking at her with a smile on his face.

''What do you mean?''

"I don't know, something." He shrugged.

''No... do you?''

"Nope." He softly kissed her before looking up at the sky.

''What did you mean then?'' She looked at him.

"Nothing, I was just asking a question." He stroked her cheek.

''Okay...'' She closed her eyes, softly swaying her legs. Derek placed a kiss on her forehead. "I love you."

''Hmm I love you too.''

"You look gorgeous with your hair down, you know that?" He played with the ends of her curls.

''Thank you.'' She smiled a little. He smiled as well, still playing with the curls. ''You normally have them tied up though.''

''Yeah, Hailey always pulls on it a lot for some reason.''

Derek let out a small laugh. "Well she wants her hair to be like yours."

''She does?''

"Yeah, I asked her."

''What did you ask?''

"If mommy's hair was pretty, she said yes and I asked if she wanted her hair to be like yours and she answered yes."

''Aww.''

"Yeah, she's adorable."

''She is, I love her so much.''

"I love her too, and Justin is a great kid."

''He can be a handful but I love them equally. They're my entire world.''

"Very true." Derek smiled softly. "They're the most... one of the most important things in my life."

''Well of course you were included in the 'my entire world' thing.'' She smiled. Derek smiled. "I better be included there."

''Hmm trust me, you are.''

"I trust you." Derek placed a small kiss on her lips.

''Good.'' She pecked his lips. ''Der?''

"Ads?" He placed another sweet kiss on her lips before listening.

''Do you think we could like... go out sometime?''

"Yeah I do think, we should soon-ish." Derek smiled at her.

''To a club?''

"Wherever you'd want to, sure." He brushed some hair off of her forehead.

''With Milla and Mark?''

"Sounds like fun. You have any clubs in mind?"

''I don't know, you?''

"Not really, but nothing too... nothing too you know, nothing where half of the people are on fake IDs."

''You mean for teenagers?''

Derek shrugged. "They tend to sneak into the clubs."

''Yeah... well whatever, I just wanna be there with you and have a good time.''

"You can choose the place you know, you have a good taste on what it comes to this."

''Hmm. Shall I text them now?''

"Sure, sounds great." Derek nodded, handing her his cell phone that he could easily reach since it was in the pocket of his jacket.

''Thanks.'' She slid it open.

"No problem." Derek smiled and a dropped a kiss on her lips before looking up at the sky.

She focussed on the phone as she typed the text. ''Remember that we used to text all the time?''

"Yeah we did, we didn't talk much, my parents were starting to get annoyed with the sound of typing."

''Hmm.'' Addison smiled. Derek placed few kisses on her lips while she texted.

''It seems like that was ages ago.''

"Well a lot has happened since that." Derek pointed out the obvious, a smile on his face.

''I hope you mean good things with that.''

"Of course I mean the good things." He replied, giving her a short kiss on the lips. She smiled, giving him a kiss back. He smiled against her lips, after a moment or two pulling back from the kiss.

''After this baby, do you want another?'' She looked into his eyes as her head laid back in his lap. He looked back into hers, softly brushing her hair. "I like babies, but you've said that three is enough. I respect that. But I think four would be nice."

''Which do you prefer, three or four?''

"Well four, but it's okay if you don't want to, we don't have to."

''We're still young.''

"Yeah, we have time." He placed a kiss on her forehead.

''Any ambitions for five?''

"Not really, you? I always thought four would be nice."

''No but just was wondering, you come from a big family.''

"Yeah I do, but I also know how hard it is to grow up with so many people."

''You didn't like having four sisters?''

"Sometimes, not always." Derek shrugged, "It wasn't that bad but it was hard to get attention."

''From what I've heard you were a real mommy's boy.''

"Oh shut up, Nancy is a liar." He stuck out his tongue.

''Hmm.'' She lent up and captured his tongue, softly sucking on it before pulling back. ''Not from what I have heard.''

He gave her a wide smile, leaning down and kissing her gently before talking. "I was NOT a mommy's boy."

''Even your dad said so.''

Derek's jaw dropped. "I was not! Maybe I just liked to hang out with my mom and do stuff! That does NOT make me a mommy's boy."

''And she took you shopping with her and you wanted to cuddle the entire time with her.'' She said in a teasing voice as she grinned at him. Derek rolled his eyes. "I did not! I had cold feet when I was young!"

She laughed loudly at that. ''Well you do always have cold feet, it always makes me jump in bed when you touch me with your feet.''

"See? I was just warming my feet." He stuck out his tongue playfully. "And the shopping part... I was just trying to figure out what girls want. You love it really, you can't deny it."

''Shut up.'' She chuckled. ''And keep your ice-man feet away from me in the future.''

"Nuh uh, they will poke you every night till the end." Derek pecked her lips.

''Then mine will kick you where it hurts.''

"Ouch." Derek made a face. "You wouldn't, you love it too much."

''Oh really?'' She tilted her head further backwards in his lap. He smiled at her, bringing his lips to hers. "Oh yes you do."

''Hmm.'' She smiled, turning over on her stomach as she placed a kiss on his jeans-clad crotch. He bit on his lip, looking at her, his heart skipping a beat or two, feelings rushing through his veins. She laughed as she arched her back and leaned up to peck his lips. He let out a small laugh before fusing their lips together. She kissed him as she shifted onto his lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her a bit closer. She moved their bodies against each other. He moaned softly against her lips as his pants seemed to shrink. She started to kiss his neck as she felt his erection growing against her. Derek let out another moan, running his hands over her back. She ran her tongue over his skin. His eyes fluttered closed and he lifted her shirt a little bit. Her hands moved under his shirt and roamed over his stomach and chest. He liked it when she did that, he really loved it, her hands on him. He slowly moved her shirt upwards. Her fingers continued exploring his torso. He took off her shirt, exposing his second favourite twins. She in return pulled his off. His lips found hers again, his tongue parting her lips talently. She kissed him with tongue, pushing him back against the porch swing. He carried on kissing her, light moans leaving his lips, his hands moving onto her butt.

Her fingers played over the soft skin just above his belt. A little louder moan left his lips and he started kissing her neck. She tilted her head to the side, closing her eyes. Derek's mouth attacked, sucking on her neck as his hands moved to rest on her thighs. She started to move her hips on his. He moaned, his voice vibrating against her neck. She moved her fingers through his hair. He began kissing on the sensitive spot behind her ear. She let out a loud moan, grinding her hips against his pelvis. Another moan escaped his lips, just as loud as hers, sucking and licking on the spot. ''Derek.'' She moaned. He mumbled her name against her skin, massaging her thighs.

''Let's go inside.''

"Hold on." Derek brought his lips to hers as he got up.

''Der.'' She giggled. He grinned, pecking her lips as he wrapped her legs around his waist, placing his hands under her butt to support her. She held onto his neck.

His other hand soon had to let go so that he could open the door. He opened it and they stepped into the house.

''Oh wait I forgot the baby phone.''

"Really?" He let out a sigh before starting to carry her back.

''Sorry.''

"Just admit it, you want me to carry you more." He replied, placing a kiss on her lips, walking back outside.

''Hmm I do.'' Addison laughed, checking the baby phone. He chuckled, shaking his head as they walked back inside, closing the door behind them. She put the lock on the door. Derek placed his lips back on hers, walking towards the stairs.

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_20-year-old Derek Shepherd walked into the living room, smiling widely at his girlfriend who was doing her nails on the uncomfortable couch, but it wasn't not like they could afford anything better yet. Addison was concentrating on her toes, not noticing her long-time boyfriend walking in. _

_"Well hello you too." He greeted with the roll of his eyes, walking towards her._

_''Oh hi.'' She looked up at him, giving him a smile. He smiled back at her and then looked at the tree, there were few presents under it, there was a small carpet under it which was chosen by Addison of course._

_''Kiss?'' She pouted her lips together._

_"Maybe, don't you need a mistletoe or something like that for a kiss?" He teased about her love for Christmas and all those habits. The decorating, cookies... (ones from the store that you can just stick into the oven).Aa_

_''Shut up.'' She rolled her eyes. ''I just love Christmas.''_

_He plopped down on the couch next to her. "Oh I know you do."_

_''Good.'' Addison smiled. ''Tomorrow we're gonna see your parents on Christmas day.''_

_"Yeah? We have to have a big family dinner or something?" He asked with pouty lips._

_''You're not looking forward to that?''_

_"I am but this is our first Christmas together." He pointed out, giving the kiss she wanted._

_''No it's not, it's our 4th, you meant that this is our first Christmas alone.''_

_"But still." He pouted his lips. "Our first Christmas in our own, very, very decorated house."_

_''Our very very teeny tiny decorated house.''_

_"You love it really." Derek laughed softly, pecking her lips again. "You can decorate the whole house, every single room and it won't even take long. And it's not that small, I mean we have a tree in our house. A tree."_

_''Yeah I mean it's cosy and all but I hope we will make some money soon so we can look for something bigger.''_

_"Yeah, true." He smiled, draping an arm around her shoulders. "We can have a biiiig white house and there can be this garden, roses and lilies... and oh, a balcony, we need a balcony."_

_''We need a balcony? For what do we need a balcony?''_

_"We can have sex on the railing." He rolled his eyes. "Well actually because I think it brings this nice look to our big white house and I like stars and you like stars and we can go there in the evening and look at the stars."_

_''That's sweet.'' She smiled. ''Hey Der?''_

_"Yes Addles?" He gave her a bright smile back._

_''When we're older, like waaay older, would you want kids?''_

_"Yeah, I like kids... once we're older, we could have pretty, happy, red-haired babies."_

_''No, black haired.'' She chuckled, finishing with the nail polish as she put it down on the table._

_"Nuh uh, they will have preeeeeeeetty red hair and those pretty lips of yours." He grinned at his girlfriend._

_''I'm 19 Derek, you're going to have to wait for a few years.''_

_"I know I know." He placed a sweet kiss on her lips. _

_''Mhm.'' She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. ''Lay with me.''_

_He smiled at her, laying her down on the couch and soon followed, partly laying on top of her._

_''Watch my toes though.'' _

_Derek let out a laugh, shaking his head. "Fine."_

_''Hmm.'' She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck again. He smiled widely, looking at this woman, his woman. "You mean the world to me, you know that right?"_

_''Hmm same for you. I love you more than anything in the world.''_

_"I even win Christmas?" Derek faked surprised._

_''You even win Christmas.'' Addison chuckled, looking at his handsome face._

_"Miss Montgomery, I'm honoured." He laughed softly before kissing her softly, only for a few seconds before pulling back._

_''You better be.'' She gave him a kiss. He smiled against her soft lips, brushing her wavy hair._

_''Merry Christmas baby.''_

_"Merry Christmas my love, merry Christmas." He looked into her eyes, a smile gracing his lips._

_''It's almost midnight.'' She ran her fingers over his cheek._

_"That meaning?" He pressed a light kiss on her lips._

_''It's almost Christmas.''_

_"Yeah, our fourth Christmas together."_

_''Hmm our fourth already.''_

_"We've been together for a long time, haven't we?"_

_''Yeah... well it doesn't sound long but it feels long.''_

_"True..." Derek smiled. "It's like I've known you my whole life, it just feels so perfect."_

_''It does, even though we have an apartment that with it's living room, bedroom, bathroom and kitchen is as big as my room at home.''_

_"We can't afford anything bigger right now, you know that." He rolled his eyes. "But we will, I repeat, we will have an amazing house, with an amazing balcony and... an amazing, huge closet for your clothes. Okay?"_

_''I know.'' She smiled at him. ''And I'm not complaining, right now.''_

_He let out a laugh, shaking his head a little. "Yeah, right now you're not."_

_''No and I liked how we kept bumping into each other in the kitchen, making our own home-made Christmas dinner, that tops any Christmas dinner parties my mother has ever made.''_

_Derek smiled widely at her, pressing a kiss on her lips. "Well it's fun to bump into you and that means so much to me, it's fun to cook with you. Everything with you is either fun or sweet or it's sweet and fun. I love you Addison."_

_''I love you too Der. And having sex in the kitchen on the table during cookie making was fun too.''_

_Derek laughed at her whole heartedly. "Is all you ever think about sex-related?" He asked jokingly, he loved the kitchen-sex._

_''No, but a large part is.''_

_He shook his head amused. "Well I can't blame you."_

_''Hmm good.''_

_"It is pretty damn good..." He smiled and pecked her lips._

_''I'm glad you think so.'' She began to play her fingers over his stomach under his dress shirt. There was now a wide grin on his face as he brought his lips to hers._

_''Wanna do it again?'' She mumbled against his lips._

_"You don't have to ask." He murmured against her lips softly. "But it's already late, and we're having a family dinner tomorrow and we already did it three times today, you must be a little tired."_

_''Der.'' She pouted._

_He laughed softly against her lips, slipping his tongue into her mouth. She undid his belt buckle. He placed his hand on her thigh, teasingly slowly moving it upwards. She pushed his jeans down. He began to remove her shirt after correcting his position so that he was now completely on top of her. _

_''Just take my skirt off.'' She said impatiently._

_"Someone's not patient today." He didn't do as told only removed her shirt, starting to kiss her neck. ''Me.'' She pulled down his boxers. He pushed down his skirt along with her panties. She wrapped her legs around him. He ripped off his shirt, throwing it away before re-positioning himself. She grinned at him, looking into his eyes. He grinned back at her, placing his lips on hers before gently sliding into her. She threw her head back, moaning loudly. A rather loud moan left his lips as he gave her a few moments to adjust, kissing her heatedly. She passionately kissed him back, her fingers running through his hair. He started thrusting in and out of her with slow pace. ''No, fast.'' He allowed the pace to get faster and faster, moaning against her lips. ''Oh yes.'' She moaned out. "Addie." He moaned out her name, going deeper with each thrust. She moaned louder and louder, lifting her hips up. His thrusts met his movement, sending shivers through his body._

_''Hmm Derek.'' She moaned out in bliss._

_"You feel so good." He managed to say in between moans that left his lips._

_''You're so hard.'' She breathed out. He began kissing her neck, sucking on her pulse point._

_''Harder.'' She ordered._

_Everything he did became harder, he sucked more powerfully and his thrusting became deeper and faster. ''Oh.'' She let out a series of loud moans, feeling herself on the edge. Few more thrusts later he felt his head getting cloudy, hitting her g-spot repeatedly. She cried out his name in pleasure as she went over the edge and her orgasm washed over her, her whole body shuddering. A moment later he reached his climax, his breath getting hitched in his throat, almost forgetting to breathe he almost screamed out her name over and over again. Afterwards she was panting heavily. His head was resting against her shoulder, trying to get his breathing back to normal._

_''Hmm I love you.'' She breathed out._

_"I love you... more." He replied, placing few kisses on her shoulder._

_''You can't.'' She smiled at him. ''You're sweating.''_

_"Well I'm the one doing all the work here." He said teasingly, a smile lingering on his lips as he placed a small kiss on her lips._

_''Hey!''_

_"Kidding my love, just kidding." He brushed some hair off of her face, giving her another slow kiss. She looked at him. ''I don't just... lie here right?''_

_"No" He rolled his eyes at her. "You don't even know that you keep moving your hips upwards?"_

_''No?''_

_"You keep moving them."_

_''Oh, but that's all I do.''_

_"Addison..." Derek rolled his eyes. "Believe me it's a big thing. It makes a difference, really. It's good that you lift your hips, it's... really nice."_

_''That's seriously all I do??''_

_"No" He kissed her quickly._

_''Then what else?''_

_"Well umm you touch me, you kiss me, you have your legs around my waist..."_

_''Yeah?''_

_"Yeah, so really, you are not just lying on the mattress."_

_''Okay. That's good to know.''_

_He smiled, pecking her lips. "Yeah. I love you."_

_''I love you too.'' She smiled, pecking his lips back before looking at the clock. ''15 to midnight.''_

_Derek turned to look at the clock. "It's gonna be Christmas." He stated, a smile tugging at his lips._

_''Hmm our fourth.'' She shifted under him. ''Gonna put on my pj's.''_

_"Me too." He slowly pulled out of her, giving her a kiss on the forehead. She pecked his lips, picking up her clothes as she walked towards their bedroom. He collected his clothes from the floor, following her into their tiny bedroom. She threw her clothes into the laundry hamper and opened the drawer. He did the same and wrapped his arms around her from behind, looking into the closet. "You look sexy."_

_''Hmm.'' She smiled, closing her eyes. ''Thanks.''_

_He softly stroked her stomach, before unwrapping his arms and starting to get dressed. She did the same. Sometime later they walked back into the living room, holding hands. "It's going to be Christmas soon."_

_''Hmm 10 minutes.''_

_"10 more minutes and it's Christmas." He smiled. "Then we could open a present or two. What do you think?"_

_''Hmm good idea.''_

_"I know, I'm a smart guy." He said cockily._

_''Shut up.''_

_"Hey it's the truth." He shrugged, placing a kiss on the top of her head._

_''Oh really?''_

_"Oh yes." He grinned at her. She chuckled at him, pecking his lips. He pecked hers back. "You wanna open some presents now?"_

_''Hmm I do.'' She grinned. He laughed softly, leading her towards the tree. They sat down in front of the tree._

_"What do you want to open?" He asked, pulling her close to him._

_''Hmm you choose.'' She shifted so she was lying against his chest. He smiled, picking one packet from under the tree, it was an average size. "This is my favourite."_

_''Yeah?''_

_"Yeah, well I just... I found them few weeks ago and I kind of called mom for more and it just happened. Don't ask. So yeah, you can like... open it now." __He shrugged. __She carefully tore off the wrapping paper. There was a self-made photo album with a pink cover and someone had drawn a heart on it. She ran her fingers over the cover before opening the album. There was a picture of them and Derek had written 'I love you, don't you ever forget that' below it and once again there was a tiny heart next to the text._

_''Who made this?'' She whispered._

_"Me... but mom did help me… with the cover and stuff like that... But I wrote, and glued... and things like that."_

_''That's so sweet.'' She said touched, as she looked through the album._

_"Thanks. I got a paper cut, see?" Derek showed his index finger to her, pouting a little._

_''Aww.'' She took his finger and placed a tender kiss on it._

_"So you liked it?" He asked softly, pressing a kiss or two on her cheek._

_''I love it.''_

_"That's good, I just thought to make something nice... something special no one else would be able to give to you."_

_She tilted her head and smiled at you. ''You give me the best gifts.''_

_"Aww." Derek smiled. "Really? Am I really that sweet and thoughtful and perfect boyfriend?"_

_''Hmm you are.''_

_Derek grinned, giving her a peck on the lips. "My turn to open something."_

_''Yeah, pick something.''_

_"Hmmm that one." He pointed at one of the presents. She reached and gave him the package. He pecked her lips as he took it from her, slowly opening it. She studied his face. He smiled brightly as he opened the wrapping paper and exposed the present. She smiled at him._

_"Thank you." He was still smiling as he kissed her softly._

_''Do you know what it is?''_

_"I have no idea yet." He laughed, examining it. "Oh. dear. god. You have gotta be kidding me. Seriously?" He smiled brightly once he had realised what the present was._

_''Yeah...''_

_He kissed her again. "You. Are. The. Best."_

_''So you like it?'' She looked at the two tickets for Rome._

_"No I love it!" He exclaimed and kissed her again. "We're going to Rome together."_

_''Hmm you told me in bed you wanted to go there.''_

_"Yeah... but I never thought you'd actually buy the tickets." He smiled widely at her, placing kisses on her forehead._

_''Why not?'' She smiled softly._

_"I don't know, it's far. But I'm so glad you did." He smiled back at her widely. _

_''Thanks.'' Smiling she kissed his lips._

_"We're going to Rome." He mumbled against her lips before kissing her back._

_''Hmmm we are.''_

_"I love you." He whispered softly._

_''I love you too, more than anything.''_

_He smiled at her widely. "Okay, pick another present."_

_''Hmm that one.'' She pointed at a present. It was a big box, biggest one of them. He smiled widely and brought it closer to them. She took off the wrap and opened the lit of the box, revealing another box. There was script on the lit of the box number two; ____**Addison, I love you**__. Derek said nothing, not yet. She smiled at the words, opening the box. There was another box, this one had the words ____**So much**____ written on it. By now she was smiling widely, opening it. __**You're the love of my life**_, said the fourth box, _**You're the person... **__She opened the box, already having tears in her eyes. ____**...I want to spend the rest of my life with**__.__ Derek wrapped his arms around her. She cuddled closer against him, opening the next. ____**I want to....**__And another was opened. __**....**__ said the next box. She opened it again._

_"Addison Forbes Montgomery... will you make me the happiest man and marry me?" He asked softly as the last box was opened, revealing a ring. She clasped her head in front of her mouth. He held her tightly, waiting for a reply, this scared the hell out of him. ''Oh my god.'' She whispered, looking up at him. ''Are you serious?'' He nodded his head, looking straight into her eyes, brushing some hair off her face. "Yes."_

_''Oh my god...''_

_Derek was still looking into her eyes, waiting._

_''I--I--.'' She was so shocked she couldn't even think. ''I can't remember what to say.''_

_"The answer would be yes." He smiled a little at her nervousness, still holding her close._

_''Ask me again.''_

_"Addison, will you marry me?" He started smiling even wider._

_''Yes.'' Her smile grew. ''Yes!''_

_"Yes?! Yes!" He pulled her even closer, kissing her. She kissed him, then hugging him tightly. ''Oh my god.''_

_He placed a kiss on her shoulder, his body against hers. "We're gonna get married."_

_''Yeah...wow...'' She was still shaking. He placed few more kisses on her shoulder and then two on her cheek. "This is..."_

_''Place the ring on my finger?''_

_He nodded his head eagerly, pulling back from the hug and taking the ring. She let out a nervous breath, holding out her hand. He slowly slid the ring where it belong, looking at it for a moment or two. It fit. Perfectly._

_''It's so beautiful.''_

_He nodded. "It is... I know it's not the most pricy but... but I thought that was more like you, it's a beautiful ring, just like you."_

_''I love it Derek, I've never seen a more beautiful ring in my life. It's… it's perfect.''_

_"I know." He smiled. "Believe me, I do know. It even fits perfectly." He linked their fingers together._

_''I love you so much.'' She looked into his eyes. He raised his gaze from the ring, looking into her teary emerald green eyes. "I love you too, the most."_

_''This is the best Christmas ever.''_

_Derek could only agree with her. "This is, the best Christmas ever."_

_She hugged him again, closing her eyes. He placed a kiss on her neck, holding her closer than he ever had._

_''I can't believe you just proposed to me.''_

_Derek smiled. "I can't believe I did it, and you said yes._

_''Of course I would say yes. I was so taken aback, I couldn't even think.''_

_Again a wide smile graced his lips and he gave her a small kiss. "I kind of noticed that."_

_''You did...?''_

_"Yeah..." He adjusted the ring on her finger again, looking at her hand._

_''I love it.'' She looked down at the ring._

_"Me too." He placed a kiss on the back of her hand. She smiled at him._

_"God, we're gonna get married." He smiled brightly._

_''Yeah... wow.''_

_He pecked her lips. She smiled at him and kissed his lips._

_"I love you." He whispered against her lips._

_''I love you too Derek.'' She looked into his eyes deeply._


	25. Flashback

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 25 - Flashback_

_Flashback_

_It was a warm summer day and Derek and Addison had a big swimming pool set up. As Derek lay in the water relaxing, Addison kept walking around, rubbing her seven and a half month bare baby bump. ''They keep kicking me, I swear to god it's first one and then the other and then the first one again.'' She groaned. ''They're ganging up on me and they haven't even been born yet.''_

_"Relax honey, they just want you to know they're there." Derek laughed softly, looking up at her with his head slightly tilted to the other side. "My babies wouldn't gang up on their mother." He flashed her a smile._

_''Seriously it feels like they're kicking themselves out of there.'' She kept rubbing her stomach._

_"Aww, they should calm down soon, they always do." He looked at her bump._

_''I sure hope so.''_

_"It will." Derek ran a hand through his hair._

_''Got any place left for me? Maybe they'll calm down in the water.''_

_Derek smiled at her question. "Yeah, get in, my love."_

_She chuckled and carefully got into the pool. Derek placed a quick kiss on her lips, those ones that were like a habit. As she sat down she felt a forceful stab in her stomach, making her wince._

_"Are you okay?" He asked concerned, softly rubbing her shoulder as he heard the little sound she made._

_''No they're seriously hurting me.''_

_"Maybe it'll stop, maybe our baby just kicked to a sensitive spot…" He replied._

_''No.'' She shook her head._

_"No?" He asked, worry was evident in his voice._

_''No seriously Derek, this hurts!''_

_"Shh... it's alright." Derek tried to calm her down a bit. She couldn't be... she couldn't be in labour, right? She let out small breaths, after a few minutes wincing again._

_"That's it, we're going to the hospital." He got up after a moment, offering his hands to her._

_''What?'' She looked at him. He lowered to her level, placing his hand on her cheek. "It'll be okay."_

_''Why do I have to go to a hospital?!''_

_"You might... this might not be normal kicking." He tried to explain._

_''What are you talking about??''_

_"We should make sure that everything's okay. Please."_

_''No Derek!''_

_He sighed, slowly brushing her cheek. "Okay."_

_''Thank you.''_

_"Welcome." He settled back into the pool, keeping an eye on her. She kept rubbing the baby bump. Derek placed a light kiss on her forehead._

_''Why won't they settle down?''_

_"I don't know, are they still kicking?"_

_''No.''_

_"Oh." Then he was scared._

_''What?''_

_"I don't know Addison. Maybe we should just drop by at the hospital to make sure."_

_''They're moving around.''_

_"That's good." Derek said, a small sigh of relief leaving his lips._

_''Or not.'' Another pain stab._

_"Shh." He moved closer to her, wrapping his arms around his pregnant wife._

_''Seriously what is this?!''_

_"Honey, I think the babies might come out today." He stated._

_''What?!''_

_"I don't know for sure but these seem like contractions."_

_''They aren't contractions because they aren't going to be born yet.'' She simply said._

_"Honey there is a chance these are contractions..." He reminded her, starting to brush her stomach._

_''No. No I know twins hardly ever go full-term so I made an agreement with them that they would stay until at least 8 months and I'm 7 and a half now so they aren't coming yet.''_

_"Honey, they're just babies and maybe they're ready to come out." Derek whispered, trying to calm down the two babies by rubbing the bump._

_''No they aren't. Right?''_

_"I don't have the answers, I just... I think we should check, just in case something's wrong." _

_''But we agreed to 8 months...''_

_"And you can give a lecture on our beautiful babies once they're born..." Derek placed a kiss on her cheek._

_''They're too small now.''_

_"They'll be alright, they'll have to spend time in an incubator but they'll get better."_

_''Yeah...'' Another pain stab. ''Oh my god, Derek I'm having contractions!'' She realized that they weren't pain stabs but contractions. He slowly nodded his head, taking her hands in his so that his other arm was wrapped around her. "Shh... it's okay."_

_She waited until the contraction passed and then stood up in the water. He did the same, keeping his arms around her. "We need to get to the hospital."_

_''Well I need to change first.''_

_"Yeah, me too." He walked towards the house as quickly as possible. Addison stepped out of the pool._

_Inside the house, Derek quickly changed and grabbed some clothes for her, placing them on the bed as he began packing all the important stuff for the hospital._

_''Oh I already have a bag ready, I just need a toothbrush.'' She took off her bikini and towel dried her body._

_"Okay that's good." Derek let out a sigh of relief, walking into the bathroom._

_''Okay, but we need to go through it, so I'm sure I have packed everything. I'll list what's in there okay and if anything is missing tell me.''_

_"Addison, you're in labour and you want to do a list?" He asked from the bathroom, grabbing her red toothbrush._

_''Yes, I can't forget anything!'' She pulled on the comfortable clothes he had laid out for her. He walked back into the room. "I'm sure the bad is just fine."_

_''Derek go over with this with me!'' She clasped over as another contraction hit her. Derek took the bag and started going through it, sighing as he heard the small whimper leaving her lips._

_''There's a list in the pocket on the front!''_

_Derek placed the toothbrush into the bag, into her small hygiene products-bag before he took the list from the front pocket and wrapped an arm around her._

_''Give it to me.'' She ordered. He gave her the list and looked at her, softly brushing her hip._

_''Okay, think of anything what I'm missing okay?'' She looked at the list. ''Clothes for me, pyjamas, slippers, toiletries, glasses, insurance card, hospital papers, phone, camera, hair band, underwear, maternity pads, nursing bra, towel, breast pads, food, baby clothes, diapers, onesies, baby hats, baby socks, baby blankets, and bottles and formula milk in case I can't breastfeed them.'' She read quickly._

_"You're not missing anything, that's all we need there." Derek said, giving her a hug, placing a kiss on her lips. "And IF we do forget something, Nancy can bring them or mom or someone. We'll be okay."_

_''The car seats are in the trunk, they're still there right??''_

_"Yes the car seats are in the trunk, we're ready for this." They had everything ready for these babies._

_''We don't have names!'' Panic was written over her face, just as the next contraction came along._

_"Shh it'll come to us, we'll have baby-names until we figure it out." Derek soothed her down, rubbing her side._

_''They need names Derek!''_

"_I know they do. We'll think about that. We still have some time."_

_She held her hand on her stomach, letting out deep breaths._

_"Just take nice and deep breaths, calm down a little." He whispered, holding her close against his chest._

_''Ah it's too soon.''_

_"We'll make it, they'll make it." He replied, placing kisses on her hair._

_''We should go to the hospital.''_

_"We should." He unwrapped his arms from around her._

_''Call mom.''_

_"I will when we're in the car." He replied stubbornly, taking the bag from the bed. She already walked out of the room. Derek followed her soon and they made their way to the car. Addison got into the passenger's seat. He placed the bag to the backseat and then walked around the car, getting into the driver's seat._

_''Derek hurry for christ's sake!''_

_Derek raised his eyebrows at her, ignoring this. He started the car and began driving. She closed her eyes, breathing heavily. ''Give me the phone.''_

_He took the phone from his pocket, giving it to her and focusing on the driving, speeding a little._

_''What name is my father under?''_

_"Caleb M." Derek replied quickly, stopping at the lights, silently cursing them. She found the number and clicked on call._

_Few seconds later a man picked up, sleepiness obvious in his voice. "Addi, sweetie it's 3 am you know that right?"_

_''Oh well I'm sorry for waking you to tell you I'm in labour.'' She told him annoyed._

_"You're what?!" He exclaimed, shocked. "But you weren't to due yet! It's just a little over seven months!"_

_''Seven and a half.''_

_"Still, are you at the hospital?"_

_''In the car.''_

_"Oh dear heavenly lord... I'm gonna be a grandpa."_

_''Yeah twice actually.'' She moaned as another contraction came. He moved on the bed uncomfortably, hating this. His little girl was suffering. "How are you holding up?"_

_''It's really painful and they are too early and two weeks too early for mommy to be happy.''_

_"You'll make it, they'll make it." Caleb shook his head, sighing a bit. "You'll keep me updated right?"_

_''It's 3 am for you.''_

_"My girl is in labour, of course I want to know what's happening."_

_''I can't exactly call you when I'm having them.''_

_"Make someone call me, I NEED to know."_

_''I'll call you when they're born okay?''_

_"Promise?"_

_''Promise.''_

_"I love you Addison."_

_''I love you too.'' _

_"Now go and have some healthy pretty babies." He got out of bed and walked out of the bedroom, towards the kitchen to start the coffee machine._

_''Yeah.'' She let out a sigh._

_"It'll be alright, bye."_

_''Bye daddy.''_

_He hung up, sighing loudly and giving a yawn. Addison gave Derek his phone back._

_Derek looked at her concerned before searching for his mother's number. The ride was long, it'd take a while._

_''Are we almost there?'' She winced._

_"It'll be a while." Derek said apolitically and brought the phone to his ear._

_''Derek!''_

_"I can't drive any faster!" He replied just before Theresa picked up._

_''Yes you can!''_

_"I'm already speeding!" He started driving a bit faster._

_''Then speed more!''_

_"I am!" Derek didn't even realise that Theresa could already hear them._

_''Go faster!''_

_"I AM!" He yelled, driving as fast as he could._

_''Derek!'' She yelled as another contraction hit her._

_"Shh..." Derek closed the phone, instead grabbing her hand as he drove. His phone rang after a few seconds. He took the phone, slowly letting go of her hand, one hand on the steering wheel and another one holding the phone to his ear._

_''Derek?''_

_"Hey." He replied, looking at Addison before carrying on watching the road._

_''What's up?''_

_"Well umm this is going to be a short call, Addison's in labour."_

_''What?!''_

_"Yeah... you're going to be grandma today." Derek smiled a little._

_''Oh my god...''_

_"Yeah, I know." He nodded his head, throwing a concerned look to his wife's direction. "Well anyway, we're on our way to the hospital now."_

_''How is she?''_

_"Two babies are trying to get out of her, how do you think?"_

_''Ouch yeah...I know the feeling.''_

_"Yeah well we're gonna arrive to the hospital in few minutes."_

_''Can we come to the hospital??'' She asked excited._

_"Of course." He simply replied, Theresa and Addison had a great relationship and he knew it. Theresa was like a mother to her, or a best friend._

_''Oh thank god! Okay, okay we're coming as soon as possible. I'm gonna tell your dad now he's gonna be a grandfather today!'' She said almost in a sing-y voice. Derek chuckled a bit, shaking his head. "Yeah, you do that. Okay but I have to focus on the driving now... I'm kinda speeding and talking on the phone so I might get arrested, fun."_

_''Okay, okay. Bye! I love you and wish Addison good luck, tell her we'll be right there!''_

_"I love you too, bye." He hung up and put away the phone, grabbing Addison's hand in his._

_''Aaahh Derek I need to push.'' She breathed out._

_"Shh... don't push yet. Not yet. Wait a little. Just a little..." Derek gave her hand a squeeze. "... just a little while longer." _

_''I can't, I can't!''_

_"Addison, we're here." He looked at the big building, parking right in front of the main doors._

_''You have to park the car you dumb ass!''_

_"Get out of the car and I'm gonna park it, you are NOT walking." Derek ordered._

_''So I'm supposed to give birth to my twins in front of the hospital?!''_

_"OUR twins, and no." Derek sighed, of course Addison had to do this the hard way. He drove a bit further and parked, they would have to walk. She let out short breaths. Few minutes later they were led to a room and she was already on the hospital bed and he was seated on a chair next to the bed. She had her eyes closed, letting out deep breaths. Her hand was in his, he kept looking at her and a doctor stepped into the room. She was squeezing his hand hard at this point._

_"I'm Dr. Deaver." A woman greeted, making Derek nod._

_"Derek Shepherd." He bit on his lip, trying to ignore the fact that his hand was already starting to feel numb in her grip. _

_''Addison Shepherd.''_

_"No medication eh?" The doctor questioned before she sat on a chair and settled between her legs._

_''No. Can I have my twins the natural way?'' Please, please say yes, please. The doctor nodded her head. "Yes, as long as everything is going the normal way and there aren't any complications."_

_''Okay.'' Addison nodded and let out a relieved sigh._

_"If you want to, he can sit behind you during the labour." She nodded her head towards Derek._

_''I do.'' She looked at Derek. Derek nodded his head and planted a kiss on his wife's forehead._

_''Thanks.''_

_"Anytime." Derek got up from the chair and few moments later he was sitting behind her._

_She closed her eyes again. ''Am I dilated yet?''_

_"Yeah about three centimetres." The doctor nodded her head while Derek took Addison's hands in his. Addison groaned._

_"Mom and dad are on their way." Derek informed, holding her._

_''I'm not gonna let your parents look at my vagina!''_

_"They won't be in the room." He replied softly, brushing her hands with his._

_''Good.''_

_"Honey, you can squeeze my hands if you need to."_

_''Oh I will, trust me.''_

_He shook his head and placed a kiss on her shoulder, trying to comfort her._

_''How far?'' She looked at the doctor._

_"Four." She replied instantly as Derek placed a kiss on her cheek._

_''Oh come on! I need to push!''_

_"Not yet. Wait, it's better for you, and better for your babies."_

_''This is horrible.''_

_"It is." The doctor replied._

_''Oh god.'' She sighed. ''I actually have to do two.''_

_"I'm so sorry for you." The doctor shook her head. "That's not going to be too much fun."_

_''Oh surprise.''_

_Derek placed another kiss on her cheek. "We need to choose the names, will we do that... you know afterwards?"_

_''They're gonna have weird names.''_

_"Weird names?" Derek chuckled._

_''We're not naming them Derek Jr. and Derika.''_

_"Damn, why don't you like my suggestions? I love them. Little Derika and Derek Jr."_

_''No, no matter how drugged I am.''_

_"Okay, what do you like then?"_

_''I really don't know.'' She moaned at another contraction which seemed to be closer to each other then they were before. He lightly squeezed her hands, pressing few comforting kisses on her neck. "Anna? Maggie? Fiona? Daniela?" He started suggesting._

_''No!''_

_"Okay, Okay, okay." He said softly._

_''How many?'' She asked the doctor again._

_"It's six now, that's two more than before." She replied._

_''How much longer?''_

_"This is going fast, it shouldn't be much longer."_

_''Thank god.'' She closed her eyes. Derek took a deep breath, holding her hands in his tightly._

_''Will they be healthy?''_

_"They will need to be kept in incubators for a while but otherwise they should be healthy."_

_''I really hope they will be...''_

_"They're about 7 and half months old, they should be okay."_

_''How long will they have to stay in the hospital?''_

_"I don't know yet, probably for few weeks."_

_''Damn it.'' She sighed._

_"That's long." Derek replied sadly._

_''It is...''_

_"Well it's better for the twins." The doctor replied in a mumble. "Seven."_

_''Ahh Der, can you rub my back?''_

_"Of course. Shoulders or lower?" He moved a bit further from her, his hands leaving hers._

_''Lower, like my lower back.''_

_"Okay." Derek began rubbing her back gently in circles. She tried to breath in and out deeply, trying not to push yet._

_"You're doing great." He said softly._

_''It already hurts.''_

_"I know it does, I hate to see you suffer like this." He mumbled, rubbing a bit harder._

_''But soon we'll have our babies.''_

_"Our little, pretty babies..." Derek smiled widely._

_''I hope they're healthy.''_

_"Yeah... they will, right? They're only seven and half months but they should be okay?"_

_''Yeah, yeah they should be.'' She nodded as the doctor helped her changing into a hospital gown._

"_That's good, that really is good." He replied and the doctor nodded as well. After a few seconds she was done. He took her hands once again, stopping the little massage._

_''Can I start?''_

_"Just a little while longer okay? You think you could do that?"_

_''I don't know, it hurts, it's....stretching painfully.''_

_"You can start pushing when I say so, okay?" The doctor began to get ready._

_''Yeah.'' Addison nodded, taking a deep breath. ''This is gonna hurt._

_"It's okay, you can do this. You're Addison, you can do this." Derek placed a kiss on her cheek._

_"Okay Mrs. Shepherd, Addison, I need you to start pushing."_

_''Okay.'' She let out a deep breath. ''Okay. Now?''_

_"Now." The doctor confirmed and Derek whispered comforting words into her ear. She took his hands, closing her eyes as she pushed._

_"You're doing great..." He mumbled, biting on his lip._

_''Oh fuck!'' She yelled out. Derek tried not to laugh, not funny, this was not funny._

_"Okay Addison, stop right there. Take a deep breath."_

_She stopped pushing, taking a deep breath as the doctor said._

_"That's great, you're doing great." The doctor smiled a bit._

_''This hurts, this hurts.'' She winced._

_"I'm sorry." Derek said gently._

_''How far is it?'' _

_"About three more pushes and we get the baby number one." She told them. "Okay, start pushing again." _

_Addison nodded and pushed hard again. Derek's hands were crushed by hers and he bit on his lip. She nearly had to yell out._

_"Okay we can see the head, stop, stop."_

_She was breathing heavily as she stopped._

_"Good, that was great." The doctor assured. "Few more like that and you have a son or a daughter."_

_''You can see the head already?''_

_"Yes." She replied with a nod. "Take a few more deep breaths and we can continue."_

_A smile past her face and she took a few deep breaths._

_"Now, I need you to push again."_

_''Okay, the hardest part is over... well with this one.'' She slowly starting pushing again._

_"You're doing great." Derek replied, giving her hands light squeezes._

_''Oh god.'' She breathed out, squeezing his hands hard. He closed his eyes due to the hard squeezing. After a few seconds she ran out of energy._

_"Okay, that was good, one more and we're done with this one." The doctor told. "You can rest for a moment."_

_''No.'' She shook her head._

_"Mrs. Shepherd, one more push."_

_''Okay.'' She gave one last push. After a few moments they heard crying. "At least SHE has healthy lungs." The doctor commented as a nurse cut the cord. Addison looked up at the baby in amazement. ''Oh my god...''_

_Derek's eyes widened as he looked at their baby girl. "She's so tiny..."_

_''That's our baby girl.'' Her eyes were filled with tears of happiness. He bit on his lip and his eyes began to well up. "She's perfect."_

_''She's gorgeous.'' Addison couldn't keep her eyes off of the baby that was immediately put into an incubator after getting cleaned, diaper, being checked on and weighted._

_"She's our little princess." He was still looking at the miracle, part of him, part of her. She was theirs and she was absolutely perfect. She looked into the incubator as the baby was taken care of by a nurse when the doctor announced she had to push again._

_"You can do this." He assured her, placing a kiss on her shoulder._

_''Yeah.'' She nodded, clenching her eyes shut as she pushed for the next baby. The doctor nodded her head, after a few moments talking. "Okay, stop right there."_

_She did as said._

_"You're doing great. This is great." The doctor smiled a little. She nodded, unable to speak._

_"Okay, you need to start pushing again." The doctor informed. She pushed yet again, feeling like this was never gonna end. Derek squeezed her hands a little, closing his eyes once she powerfully squeezed them back._

_''Ah Derek!'' She yelled, gritting her teeth._

_"You're doing great honey." He replied, placing short kisses on her shoulder. _

_''Shut up!''_

_And so he did but then the doctor spoke. "Okay, stop, we can see the head now."_

_''Okay.''_

_"You're doing great, you must be one of the strongest women I've ever seen." The doctor shook her head a little._

_''I wanna get this over.'' She said tiredly._

_"It will be over soon, you'll have two beautiful babies in few moments."_

_She nodded._

_"Okay, push." The doctor nodded. She pushed hard again._

_"Good, good... a little bit more."_

_''Aahh!''_

_"Good, now stop. Rest for a moment." The doctor nodded as Derek placed a kiss on her ear._

_"You're almost done."_

_''How much more?''_

_"One more push."_

_Addison nodded and squeezed Derek's hand, pushing. He held her hands tightly as she pushed and few moments later they heard some weak crying. __Her breathing was heavy as her head shot up to look at her son. The nurse once again cut the cord and a little while later the louder became stronger and louder._

_"Oh thank god..." Derek mumbled quietly. Tears streamed down Addison's face._

_"You have a son." The doctor smiled brightly as she checked the baby who's crying was getting louder and louder._

_''Can I hold him before he has to go in the incubator as well?'' She asked emotionally._

_The doctor nodded her head and cleaned up the baby a little before handing the baby to the mother. Derek placed a hand in front of his mouth, his eyes getting filled with tears again._

_''Oh my god.'' She whispered, looking at the small baby on her chest._

_"He's... he's just... he's just simply amazing." He shook his head, looking at the small baby boy._

_''He's so little...''_

_"He's so tiny..." He mumbled, touching the baby's small foot._

_''I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd but he has to go into the incubator now.''_

_"But we just only got him." He looked slightly shocked, not wanting to give up HIS baby._

_''I'm really sorry but he has to.''_

_"Oh..." Derek slowly nodded. "When can we see them??"_

_''You can come with us but your wife will have to stay here.''_

_"Are you okay with that?" Derek quickly asked. "Not that I don't want to be here! But I just... what if they put on the wrong nametags?"_

_''Make sure they get the right ones.'' She said tiredly._

_"I love you so much Addison." He whispered as the nurse took the little baby away from them, placing him into the incubator._

_''I love you too.'' She could barely keep her eyes open._

_"Try to get some rest okay?" He moved and got up from the hospital bed. She nodded her head._

_He placed a lingering kiss on her lips. "I'll be back when you wake up."_

_''Okay.'' Her eyes dropped._

_"Sweet dreams Addi." He whispered and another kiss was placed on her forehead before he began walking out of the room._

_Two nurses walked in front of him with the incubators. He was walking with quick steps, making sure the incubators wouldn't get out of control and crash against the wall or something. Soon they reached the destined room. The incubators were placed next to each other, there weren't that much babies in the room. One of the nurses went through a drawer and got a pink and a blue nametag. ''What are their names?''_

_"We haven't.. they don't have names yet." He replied, biting on his lip as he looked at the two little babies with two pretty little noses, 20 little fingers and 20 little toes._

_''Oh...well, I'll just write Baby girl Shepherd and Baby boy Shepherd down then okay?''_

_"Thanks." He nodded slowly and gave her a small smile. "I just... I guess we thought we had more time." _

_''Yeah they're early, even for twins.''_

_"Yeah, but they're strong, fighters."_

_''They are.'' The nurse nodded and put on the name tags._

_"When do we need to have them named?" Derek asked as he looked at the nametags._

_''Erhm as soon as possible really because you need to fill in the birth registers with their names on it.''_

_"Oh, okay..." Derek nodded in thought, smiling a little. "She's beautiful you know?" He nodded towards his daughter, wow, it felt kind of weird to say that._

_''Yeah your daughter is gorgeous.''_

_"I've always wanted a daughter. And now I have one, it's like... wow. And then I have a son, which is like... oh dear god I'm 21 and a dad of twins." He smiled._

_''You sound happy.'' She looked up at him, stroking her hair behind her ear._

_"Yeah, of course I am. It just... it just came as a shock." He chuckled a little as his eyes met hers._

_''It did?''_

_"Yeah but I've always wanted kids, we were gonna wait a little, finish school and all but then..."_

_''What kinda school do you go to?''_

_"We're both starting at med. school." Derek replied with a smile._

_''Oh wow, impressive.''_

_"Yeah." He let out a small laugh. "I guess so. I know it'll be a lot of hard work but it'll be worth it."_

_''Yeah I really believe that.'' She nodded. ''Oh I have a question, do you want your children to lie in the same incubator?''_

_"Yeah, it has something to do with them having a contact, helping them get stronger or something like that, right?" Derek smiled widely._

_''Exactly.'' She smiled._

_"Well yeah, they could lie in the same incubator."_

_''Okidoki then.'' She got Hailey out of her incubator._

_"Thanks." Derek smiled as he looked at the little girl being carefully held by the nurse. "Uhm... could I give her a quick kiss before she goes back in?"_

_''Yeah of course.'' She placed Hailey in his arms. ''I know this is horrible, I hate it when the parents can't even hold their babies first.''_

_"Yeah, it's horrible, I mean... she's mine but I can't even hold her." Derek supported the head and held her close to him, watching her chest move in a steady rhythm._

_''Yeah so I'm letting you hold her now, but that will be our little secret okay?''_

_Derek smiled. "You can trust me on this one, I don't want you to get into any trouble." He placed a light tender kiss on the baby's little cheek._

_''Good.'' She chuckled, watching them._

_"Am I holding her the right way?" He asked after a moment or two, dropping another kiss on the baby's lips._

_''Yeah, you're a natural.''_

_"Or just read a bunch of baby books." He grinned softly._

_''That's sweet.'' _

_The baby yawned._

_"Oh my god, she's so adorable." Derek whispered, his eyes almost wide open as he looked at the baby._

_''I think she's a little tired.''_

_"Should she go back to the incubator then?" He asked sadly._

_''Yeah I'm sorry, but the more she will in there the sooner you can take her home.''_

_"Oh, well I guess I don't have a word in this." He sighed and soon the baby was back in the nurse's arms._

_''You will be able to hold her soon.'' She gave him an apologizing smile and carefully led the baby girl next to her brother._

_"Thanks." He made a small smile at the nurse. "Gosh I'm so rude, we have talked for god knows how long and I don't even know your name."_

_''I'm nurse Melinda.'' She gave him a smile._

_"Derek Shepherd." He smiled back at her._

_''Nice to meet you.''_

_"You too." He looked at the babies, amazed by them._

_''Yeah.'' She smiled at him._

_"I love my babies." He commented randomly. She chuckled._

_"That was random." He let out a small laugh._

_''It was.''_

_He nodded his head, looking at the two babies and listened to their breathing._

_''So ehrm...I gotta do my rounds now.''_

_"Oh, okay well I guess I'll see you around Melinda." He made a smile._

_''Yeah, if you have any questions ask the nurse at this ward okay?''_

_"Okay, I will if I can think of any."_

_''Okays, bye.'' She left the room._

_"Bye." He called behind her and then he was left alone with the babies that were already fast asleep. They both were lying closely to each other. "I love you both, so, so much. Don't you ever forget that." He told the newborns._

_----_

_At that same moment Addison was asleep in her hospital bed, her eyes fluttering as she heard footsteps into the room.__A little girl, about 5 years old, with blonde hair looked around, letting a giggle escape before she ran under the chair next to her bed. Addison watched her confused, still sleep drunk. The little girl clasped a hand in front of her mouth, trying to stay quiet before she realised someone was in the room, her bright blue eyes widening._

_''Hello?''_

_"Shh! I'm not here" She explained biting on her lip. "The nurse was trying to make me eat broccoli!" She made a face._

_''Oh she was?'' Addison chuckled. She nodded her head horrified. "Please please don't tell her I'm here!"_

_''I won't.'' She promised._

_"Yay!" She smiled brightly, starting to play with her own fingers._

_''Close the door, she won't see you then.''_

_The girl crawled from under the chair and then got up, running towards the door. Addison watched her smiling. She closed the floor and then ran back to her. "Hi!"_

_''Hey.'' She smiled. ''What's your name?''_

_"I'm Hailey Daniels. What about you?" She tilted her head to the side as she sat down on the chair._

_''Hailey, wow that's a pretty name. I'm Addison Shepherd.''_

_"Addison? That's even prettier!" She exclaimed and grinned, curling up in a ball on the chair._

_''Thank you.'' Addison smiled at her._

_"Why are you here Mrs. Shepherd?" She asked politely, biting on her lip as she smiled._

_''I just got two babies and you can call me Addison, or Addi.''_

_"Oki! Then you can call me Hails!" She said excitedly. "Are you my buddy Addi?"_

_''Yeah I am.'' Addison chuckled._

_"Yay! Where are your babies?? I like babies! Are they little?? Like dolls??" She could have kept asking till the end of the world._

_''The babies are in an incubator because they were born too early and they're really little, like dolls.''_

_"Oh... I've seen a lot of those babies! What do your babies look like?? Are they blonde?? Like me?? Or are they red?? Do they have pretty lips they can kiss with??"_

_''I don't know honey.'' Addison gave her a tired smile._

_"What do you mean you don't know?" She asked, looking at her with big blue bug-a-like-eyes._

_''I only saw them for a few seconds.''_

_"Oh... that's not nice. Did nurse Anna-Panna-Nanna-Gamma take them away? I don't like her! She's mean and makes me eat green yucky stuff!"_

_Addison chuckled. ''I bet that's healthy stuff. What are you here for Ms. Hails?''_

_"Doctor says there's something wrong with my heartieheart..." She said sadly and looked into Addison's eyes._

_''Aww come here.'' Addison held out her arms._

_The little girl climbed to her bed and threw her arms around the woman's neck, slightly pouting her lips though this was something she had learned to deal with ages ago._

_''Are your mommy and daddy here too?''_

_"Mommy and daddy are at work so that they can pay the medicine." She mumbled. "So I'm stuck with stupid Anna-Panna."_

_''And she isn't nice?''_

_"No, that green stuff is yucky and she won't let me play twister with other kids! She says I have to watch cartoons but I think the bear is scary and she won't believe me! And once I got a balloon from uncle Richie and she said that balloons were just a way to get some money from fools and they weren't even allowed so she popped it! She's mean!" The little girl explained. Addison gasped. Hailey pouted her lips once she pulled back from the hug. "But mommy told me I'd get a new one that she won't pop and it'd be in AAAALL the shades of the rainbow!"_

_''That's great!'' Addison smiled widely._

_"I know!" She laughed softly and nodded her head so that her hair bounced._

_''You have beautiful hair, do you know that?''_

_"Really?" She smiled widely and started brushing her hair. "Wow... I like it too but mommy said we should cut it.... I don't know if I want to. Mommy promised that it'd be just an inch 'cause I like long hair though!"_

_''Yeah it's gorgeous.'' Addison played with the little girl's hair._

_"I like your hair too!" She giggled softly and ran her fingers through Addison's hair._

_''Aww thank you.''_

_"Welcome!" She grinned widely and then let out a giggle. "Where is your babies' daddy?"_

_''I think he's with the babies.'' Addison chuckled._

_"Oooh nice!" She smiled broadly and then crawled back to her seat._

_''Maybe later you can come and see the babies.''_

_"Reaaaaally??" Her eyes widened. "What are your babies' names??"_

_''Erhm...they don't have names yet...''_

_"Why not?" She screwed up her face. "I'd name them something cute, like Conan or Jana!"_

_''Hmm those are really nice names.''_

_"I love the names too! Or name them both Addison!"_

_''That's not possible.'' She laughed._

_"Why not??" She looked a bit shocked. "Well what about Leonard! Or Samuel!"_

_''What if I name her Hailey?''_

_"Hailey? But that's me." Her eyes widened before she realised._

_''Wouldn't you like that then?''_

_"Are you naming the baby after me?" She asked slowly, biting on her lip as the smile on her face became broader._

_''Would you like that?''_

_She nodded her head excitedly. "Yes!"_

_''Great.'' Addison smiled widely at Hailey._

_"Reaaaaaally? You're not playing mind-games with me right?" She grinned. _

_''I'm not.'' She shook her head and laughed._

_"Yay!" She laughed and went to hug her again. "I like you Addie, you're my best buddy."_

_''Aww I like you too, you're the nicest girl I've ever met.'' Addison hugged her back._

_"You're the prettiest woman I've ever..." Then there was a knock on the door. Addison smiled at her before looking up._

_The door was opened and a woman stepped in. "I'm looking for Hailey Dan... Hailey!"_

_The little girl looked up to her mother._

_''Hi.'' Addison looked at the woman._

_"Hi, I'm Kaitlyn Daniels." She greeted. "I hope the little miss wasn't bothering you here."_

_''No, no not at all.'' Addison held her arm out. ''Addison Shepherd.''_

_"Nice meeting you." Kaitlyn walked closer to the bed and shook her hand. "This little girl has a thing for escaping from the nurses so...you never know."_

_"I do not have a THING!"_

_''Yeah I think she didn't want to eat her broccoli.''_

_"Hailey, how many times do I have to tell you to eat the broccoli?" Kaitlyn laughed and brushed the girl's hair._

_"Few more times!" Hailey replied. Addison laughed. The mother shook her head amused. "Yeah, apparently."_

_She smiled at the little girl._

_"Mommy! Addison is going to name her baby after me!"_

_''I am.'' Addison smiled._

_"That's so sweet. Why won't you go find your daddy? He's worried about you. You know he came from work and your bed was empty..." Kaitlyn placed a kiss on her daughter's forehead. _

_''Okay!'' Hailey jumped off of the bed. ''Bye Addiiiiiiiiii!!!''_

_Kaitlyn smiled softly as the girl ran out of the room. She sat down on the chair. Addison gave her a smile._

_"So really, was she bothering you? She has a habit of talking fast and a lot."_

_''No, really, she's a really sweet girl.''_

_"Yeah, she is." Kaitlyn smiled widely. Addison smiled as well._

_"So I assume you're naming your child after her? How come that happened?"_

_''Oh yeah well...I mean, if you don't agree I get that it's just...I went into labour one and a half month too early and my husband and I never really thought about names yet and uhm your daughter, it's really amazing how cheerful and happy she seems even though she's in hospital.''_

_"I'm sorry to hear that, Mrs. Shepherd. And yeah well that's who she is, she has always had a happy, cheerful persona and she's always that hyper and talkative. Though now she gets tired easily and her heart isn't pumping blood normally but it's not like that would keep her from trying to be 'normal'. And as a mother, this is such an honour. I mean... wow."_

_''I'm happy you are.'' Addison smiled. ''Your daughter is an amazing girl and it's sad that she has to even be in this building.''_

_"I know, I just wish these problems would go away and we could take her back home but I don't know... the doctors are trying their best." She let out a sigh before shaking her head._

_''She'll pull through, you have to believe in that. She's a strong little girl.''_

_She nodded her head slowly. "I know she is but the doctors, they think she needs a new heart."_

_''If that's true, then she will get one.'' Addison took the woman's hand. ''It'll work out.''_

_Kaitlyn gave it a light squeeze. "She has to. She can't just... I don't even know if she understands what might happen. God, I'm just... I'm scared."_

_''Yeah I can understand that.''_

_"I just don't want my little girl to be hurt." She shook her head._

_''She's doing great right now, she's happy, she seems to be having fun.''_

_Kaitlyn nodded her head again. "I just hope that'll last."_

_''It will.'' Addison gave her hand a soft squeeze._

_"I hope you're right about this, Addison." She squeezed her hand back lightly. Addison nodded. ''Yeah...me too.''_


	26. Halfway home

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 26 – Halfway home_

Derek Shepherd was sitting next to his wife, holding his two year old son on his lap. "What do you think Jussie? Are there whales in that sea?" He asked, pointing out of the window when there were no clouds.

''Lots!''

Derek laughed softly. "What whales do you think there are?"

''Whales.'' He said simply.

"Yeah honey, they're whales." Derek shook his head amused and switched the position of the 'baby' on his lap. Next to him both Hailey and Addison were asleep.

"Do you want to watch the movie?" Derek asked as he saw the film starting.

''Yeah!!''

He chuckled as the movie began to play and the word Enchanted appeared on the screen.

''What does that say dadda?''

"It says Enchanted, it's the name of the movie." He explained.

''Oh.'' He looked at the screen intensely.

"Yeah." Derek placed a soundly kiss on the little boy's hair.

Hailey was curled up against Addison's chest. Her head was resting against her mother's warm boobs and she was holding her thumb in her mouth. Addison's arm was draped over her little body. The little girl was letting out small sighs in her sleep. Addison protectively pulled her daughter closer. Sleepily the child mumbled something. Addison's eyes started to flutter open. Hailey stayed asleep, her face pressed up against her mother's other boob. She opened her eyes sleep drunk. Derek looked at her direction, slowly taking her hand in his. "You up?"

''Are we almost there?'' She asked hoarsely, hoping she magically slept through the 14 hour flight.

"You slept two hours. Sorry but we're so not there yet." He chuckled and shook his head amused.

''Hmmr.'' She groaned. He placed a kiss on her cheek apologizing. "Sorry babe."

''I feel like I slept on wood.''

"Well the seats aren't most comfy but hey we're poor struggling students, we can't go to the first class."

''Yeah but this sucks.'' She shifted Hailey. ''She's crushing my boobs.''

"Shame, they're nice boobs." Derek commented as Justin kept watching the movie and Hailey just simply slept.

''Shut up you.''

"No need to get snappy honey."

''I just hate planes.''

"I know you do, you always have."

''I just wanna be there already.''

"Yeah but we'll be there soon...ish." He added, giving her hand a light squeeze.

''12 hours is not soon-ish.''

"Well it's better than 12 days don't you think?"

''Hmm you know Australia is the furthest you can fly?''

"Yeah? Hmm kinda sucks if you think about it."

''Yeah.'' She yawned, resting her head against his shoulder. He placed a kiss on the top of her head. "I love you."

''I love you too.'' She closed her eyes again.

"Good night I guess." He chuckled a bit.

''Night babe.'' She chuckled Hailey close.

"Us guys will watch Enchanted and then maybe join you two in the dreamland, okay?" Derek smiled softly as Hailey's head pressed up against Addison's boobs once again.

''Hmhmm, have fun.''

"You too, sweet dreams." He smiled.

She grabbed his hand. He gave her hand a squeeze before focusing on the movie. She tried to get comfortable in the seat. He looked at her for a few moments, not able to take his eyes off of her. After a few seconds she was back to dreamland.

He sighed and moved his gaze back to the screen, watching a dark haired man fool around with some kind of a princess. This really wasn't his kind of movie. Justin however, was watching it excited. Derek shook his head amused, watching his son's reaction when the princess started singing something really catchy. Hailey started to wake up. She brushed her eyes and then it accursed to her, she heard some singing! And music! She smiled widely but sleepily, starting to stare at the screen. Justin began to happy chat with her. "Look! A rat is cleaning the toilet!" Hailey giggled loudly and Derek chuckled, brushing her hair. Addison was trying to move around in her sleep. Derek held her a bit closer and moved Hailey to sit on his lap as well. "You two should behave now when mommy is trying hard to sleep okay?"

''I aaaahaaaaam.'' Hailey said.

"That's great my baby." Derek placed a kiss on her hair.

"Me too. I'm a good boy."

Addison curled up on her side.

"Yeah but mommy needs to sleep, so no sound at all okay?" Derek smiled softly.

''At all?'' Hailey asked, sticking out her lower lip as she looked at him with puppy dog eyes.

"Not much, if you want to talk, whisper." Derek placed a kiss on her lips that were pouted together.

''Guys.'' Addison whined.

"We're quiet." Derek whispered and rolled his eyes once he had turned to look away from her.

''I'm nausea and I wanna sleep.'' She said, without thinking about it.

"Sleep then, we won't interrupt you anymore." He sighed.

''Thank you.''

"Welcome." He mumbled and turned to look at the screen. She closed her eyes again and curled up. Derek couldn't help but look at her every now and then. She kept tossing and turning, as far as possible in a plane seat, not succeeding to fall back asleep. After few minutes he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer to him, her head resting on his shoulder. "Any better?"

''Nooo.'' She said sadly.

"Sucks." Derek placed a kiss on the top of her head.

''Hmmm.''

He shifted the kids on his lap a little and placed another kiss on her hair. She rested her head against him.

"How about now?" He asked again, looking down at her.

''I'm really nausea.''

"Do you need to go to the bathroom?"

''I don't know.''

He brushed her side slowly. "It'll be okay"

''Do you think it's the plane or...''

"I don't know, it could be either one of them."

''Yeah....'' She didn't want to get her hopes up.

"But it could be, really. I think it is. It's about the time and really it could be." He rambled a bit.

''I hope so...'' She said quietly.

"Me too... so much."

She nodded, taking his hand in his. He gave her hand a squeeze, for the first time in his life hoping that she was having morning sickness.

''I love you.'' She whispered.

"I love you too" He whispered back, brushing her back gently. She cuddled up close to him. He placed few kisses on the top of her head. She lifted her head and placed a kiss on his cheek. This brought a smile to his face and he held her even closer, placing a light kiss on her lips. She gave him a kiss back, smiling a little.

"I love you so much." Derek said again, a little smile lingering on his lips.

''I love you too Der.'' She whispered. Derek placed another kiss on her lips before resting his forehead against hers.

''Are you excited to go?''

"Yeah it's kinda exciting, and I like your dad. He's a nice man." Derek said softly.

''He is.'' Addison smiled.

"I like him a lot actually, I have a lot to learn from him to be completely honest."

''Yeah?''

"Yeah, he's a great husband and apparently a great farther too."

''He is.'' Addison agreed.

"So yeah I could learn a lot from him."

''But you're a great husband and father as well.''

"I hope so." He pressed a little kiss on her lips.

''You are.''

"You're a great wife you know? And an amazing mother."

''Thanks.'' She smiled.

"Welcome." He smiled back at her widely. She looked into his eyes. He looked back into hers, playing with her fingers slowly. She pecked his lips. He smiled at her and then quickly pecked back her lips.

''Hmm so what are we watching?''

"Enchanted apparently." Derek let out a laugh, looking at the screen again.

''Ah great.'' She chuckled. ''We'll get portables later.''

Derek smiled widely. "Yay then. We won't have to watch Disney again."

''Yeah what do you wanna watch then?''

"I don't know, something... umm maybe Click. I've heard it's good."

''Nah.''

"Nah? C'mon you decide then."

''I don't know what they have.''

"We'll ask for the list, I can't remember too many of them."

''Yeah me either.''

"Yeah but we'll see about that then."

''Mhm.''

"You still sleepy?"

''A little, why?''

"Just asking."

''Okay.''

Derek looked at the screen with a smile on his face. Addison closed her eyes, lying against him. The kids were watching the movie like they were hypnotised. This time it took her just a minute to fall asleep. He smiled happily and let himself rest, only focusing half of his energy to the movie.

A few hours later they had to change planes and Addison and Derek, both with one kid on their hip, walked through the gate onto the airport where they had to spend an extra hour before the next plane would leave. Derek sighed and stretched his back a bit, shifting Hailey a little bit. "We should probably sit down."

''Shall we get something to eat?''

"Yeah that sounds even better." Derek smiled at his wife.

''Great.''

"Yeah, now we just have to find out a place where we can eat. Anything?"

''I don't know, you?''

"Me neither really, shall we just go look around?"

''Yeah sure.''

"Okay." He smiled at her and wrapped his other arm around her hips. She walked close to him. They started walking together towards, hoping to find a place where they could eat.

''What about that?'' She looked at a small restaurant.

"Looks nice, we should probably take a look inside." He raised his eyebrows as a question.

''Yeah.''

Derek nodded and they stepped into the small restaurant. Addison followed him. The restaurant was, like already said, small and comfortable. He smiled at the lighting, he liked this place. It wasn't even too full, there were still few tables left.

''Shall we sit here?'' Addison looked at her husband.

"Yeah, I think this place looks great." He nodded his head and smiled at her.

''It does.'' She agreed and sat down. He sat down opposite to her, placing Hailey on a chair next to him and then flashing his wife a smile. She gave him a smile back.

Few moments later a cheery looking young waitress arrived.

''Hi can I help you?'' She asked politely.

"Hi, could we have the menu cards please?" Derek gave her a smile before turning to look back at Addison.

''Yeah of course, I'll be right back.''

"Thank you." Derek gave one more smile. She gave him a smile back and left. Derek turned to look at Addison, giving her a smile as well, taking her hand in his, linking their fingers.

''What are you going to have?''

"Noodles. I have to have noodles. I have this craving."

''Yeah?''

"Yeah, weird." He shook his head a bit.

''Hmhmm.''

He let out a laugh, playing with her fingers. "What about you? What are you gonna take?"

''Hmm a salad.''

"Oh c'mon, take something else." He tilted his head to the side.

''Why?''

"Well because you need to eat something, it's going to be a long flight and god knows when we'll eat again. Please Addie."

''What's wrong with a salad?!''

"It's not the food for pregnant women. Just please choose something else okay?"

''No, I want a salad.''

"I think it'd be better for you and the baby if you took something else. If I'm letting you eat that salad, you'll eat something on the plane too, sandwich or something. Okay?"

''Well actually Mr. Shepherd,'' She said annoyed. ''I was going to take a sandwich with the salad.''

"Well that's good, I didn't know that. I'm sorry. My mistake." He replied with a small sigh, he did not want to fight now, well never but still. Not here.

''Yeah.''

He gave her hand a soft squeeze before the waitress returned.

''I want a pasta river!'' Justin said excitedly. Derek laughed, shaking his head.

"Woo! Me too!" Hailey giggled.

''We're not getting pasta.'' Addison shook her head.

"No pasta?!" Hailey exclaimed, turning to look at her father. "Please, please, please!"

"Hails, honey, if mommy says no pasta, it means no pasta." Derek tried to explain.

''But I want pasta!'' Justin pouted.

"You'll get pasta some other time, not public okay?"

''No!''

"Justin, do not start arguing about this. You can take something else."

"CHICKEN!" Hailey said loudly.

''Not something like that Hailey.'' Addison said.

"Why not?" She stuck out her bottom lip.

''Because you'll eat two bites and then let daddy finish it.''

"Oh... what can I eat then?" She pouted.

''Like a sandwich, or noodles like daddy or a tosti.''

"Noodles like daddy!" Hailey clapped her hands together.

''Yeah? What about you Jus?''

"CAKE!" He grinned.

''Cake?''

He nodded. "Yes!"

Addison looked at her husband. Derek shrugged. "Your decision."

''What kinda cake are we talking about?''

"Chocolate!"

''Honey, won't you rather have a dish or a sandwich?''

"With chocolate on top?"

''No. What about fries and some meat?''

"Fries?" Justin's eyes widened. "Like at McDonald's??"

''Yeah.'' Only healthier, she added in her mind.

"YAY!" He grinned. "I'll have fries!"

''Great.'' Addison smiled. A few seconds later the same waitress came back. Derek gave her a polite smile and Hailey waved excitedly. "HI!"

''Hey.'' The waitress smiled at the little girl.

"What's your name??" She grinned. "I'm Hailey Shepherd!"

''I'm Mara, nice to meet you Hailey Shepherd.''

"Okay." The little girl smiled and started playing with her own fingers.

''Anyway, what would you like to order?''

"Well me and the young lady will have noodles." Derek gave a smile. "And fries for the little guy. And salad and a sandwich with cheese, tomatoes and butter and ham."

''Okay, any sauces with that?''

"Addie? Want something?"

''Uhm yeah, the cheese dressing for the salad please.'' She made a smile. Derek smiled as well before Justin piped in. "I want ketchup!"

''Ketchup okay, do you want spiked noodles?'' She looked at Derek.

"Yes please." He nodded his head.

''Drinks?''

"I'll take water." Derek informed.

''One water. What about you Miss. Hailey?''

"Umm Milk!" She grinned widely at Mara.

''What about you?'' She smiled and then looked at Justin.

"I'll take milk too." He smiled.

''Alright, two milk.''

''A water for me please.'' Addison smiled politely.

"That's it." Derek smiled.

''Okay, your orders will be here as soon as possible.'' Mara smiled and walked away.

"Thank you." Derek called behind her and turned to look at his family. Addison stretched out. Derek smiled at the cute sight, shaking his head a bit.

''My boobs are sore.'' She mumbled to him.

"Ouch, seriously?" He made a sad smile, wishing that some way he could help her but that wasn't possible.

''Yeah.'' She made a face.

"Aww, sorry about that." He took her hand in his again.

''Yeah, it's your fault, technically.''

"It takes two." He reminded with a grin on his face.

''Uhuh.'' She chuckled, shaking her head at his facial expression. He leaned over the table and pecked her lips quickly.

"Awwww." Said Hailey and at the same time her twin reacted to the sight. "Ewww."

Addison chuckled at them. Derek shook his head amused before sitting back onto his seat. "Someone likes a little romance." He nodded towards his oldest child, Hailey.

''She's a little too young for that.'' Addison spoke softly, stroking her daughter's long red hair. Derek rolled his eyes. "But she likes loooooooove." A grin spread over his face as he looked at his wife. "She doesn't say ew at romance like some other people do."

''She's a toddler.''

Derek shook his head, placing a kiss on his wife's lips.

''What?''

"Nothing." He smiled and gave her another short kiss.

''Kay.'' She smiled.

"Hmm so are your parents gonna meet us at the airport?" He sat back onto his chair.

''Yeah, well my dad, I don't know about my mom.''

"Okay." In the inside, he was cheering, the dragon lady wasn't going to make her life a living hell, yet.

''So we'll see.''

"Yeah." Derek took her hand in his. She looked into his eyes, a few minutes later their food arriving.

"Ah smells delicious." Derek smiled widely as noodles were placed in front of Hailey and then in front of him.

''Hmm it does.''

Derek waited until the others were served as well and then picked up his fork. They all started eating. Hailey's fork was going between the plate and her mouth so fast that Derek was starting to think this was going to be a some kind of a record.

''Hails, slow down.'' Addison told her daughter.

"Why?? It'll get cold!" Hailey told, taking another mouthful.

''It won't honey, just slow down.''

She pouted but slowed down.

''Good girl.'' She placed a kiss on top of her daughter's head. This made Hailey grin widely and she stuck a mouthful of noodles into her mouth. Addison chuckled. Derek shook his head amused and looked at his son.

''Do you like your food Juss?'' Addison took a bite of her sandwich. He nodded eagerly and offered one fry to his mother. "Want to taste one?"

She opened her mouth and leaned forward on the table.

"Not giving!" Justin took it back and stuck it into his own mouth, making Derek burst out in laughter.

''Hey!''

Justin gave a sweet smile and took another one, moving it towards his mother. "Here you go!"

''Thanks.'' She bit in the fry. Justin let out a laugh and stuck it into her still open mouth. She took the fry from him. Justin grinned happily as Derek chuckled, where did he learn that from? Addison smiled and sat back down.

"So? Like it??" Justin let out a laugh before sticking few of them into his mouth.

''Uhuh, it's nice.''

"HaileyBailey do you want one too?" Justin grinned.

''Yes!'' She said with a mouthful of noodles. Justin got off of his chair and took one fry, walking towards Hailey. Hailey opened her mouth widely. Justin popped it into her mouth once he was close enough and Derek looked at the two children, once again he was amazed.

''Thanks!'' She said while chewing. ''Want a spoon noodles?''

"Yes!" His jaw dropped, his mouth hanging wide open, ready to be fed. She scooped up some noodles on a spoon and brought them to her brother's mouth giggling. Justin took the spoon into his mouth and looked at his sister as he pulled back, his little mouth full. Hailey giggled loudly. Derek had hard time trying not to laugh. Justin swallowed them after chewing. "MOMMA I want noodles too!"

''Honey you have fries now.''

"Can I have noodles in Australia then?? With kangaroos??"

''You wanna eat kangaroos?'' She raised her eyebrows.

"Noo! Eat WITH kangaroos you funny momma!" Justin shook his head as he went back to his seat. Addison chuckled. ''You know there are other things in Australia as well right?''

"Yes, kangaroo babies. I'm not dumb." He sat on his chair.

''Honey, Australia is not all about Kangaroos.''

"Oooh right they have that funny man." Justin clasped a hand in front of his mouth.

''What funny man?''

"The one that is telling me to pray that it's raining on Sunday! Who wants it to rain!? You can't go to the park if it's raining!"

''You mean Keith Urban?'' Addison chuckled. The little boy shrugged and Derek let out a laugh. "He has a pretty voice but I don't like rain so..."

''We also have a lot of other things.''

"Like what?" Hailey asked innocently.

''Hmm your family.''

"Mommy's mommy and daddy?" Hailey asked, her eyebrows rising.

''Hmhmm.''

"Oki." Hailey shrugged. "Are they nice?"

''Uh... yes.''

"Oki." Hailey smiled and took some more noodles.

"Do they have kangaroos?" Justin asked, sticking a fry into his mouth.

''Not everywhere.''

"Oh. Why not?" He made a face.

''They live in the wild.''

"Oh... that's not nice."

''Why not?''

"They should live in the backyards." Justin shrugged.

''No that's not good for them.''

"Do grandma and grandpa say okidoki?" Hailey piped in.

''No, why? That's not Australian.''

Hailey shrugged. "Okidoki then, just asking."

She chuckled. ''Okay then.''

"Will we get ice-cream?" Justin asked randomly.

''In Australia?''

"Yeah." Justin nodded his head.

''Sure.''

"Yay." Justin grinned and a few moments later ate the last fry and started with his steak. Addison yawned widely.

"Maybe you should try to get some sleep on the plane." Derek suggested, he had finished his noodles some time ago.

''No such luck honey.''

He made a sad look. "Maybe when we get there then."

''Hmm yeah, I miss our bed.''

"I miss our bed too, it's much more comfy."

''Hmm it really is.''

He smiled at her. "I miss our house already."

''Yeah me too, but I'm also really excited to go home.''

"Yeah I bet you're all happy about this." He smiled at her softly. "This will be fun."

''Yeah.'' She smiled at him.

"And I'm getting a chance to get to know the Australia, and the culture and all of that." He took her hand in his and softly brushed it.

''Hmhmm, I really appreciate that.''

"Yeah well it's the least I can do." He placed a kiss on the back of her hand.

''I love you.'' She looked into his eyes.

"I love you too, so much." He looked back into hers. She smiled at him. ''I should call my dad.''

"Yeah probably, let him know where we..." A small yawn left his lips. "...are."

''I will.'' She got up, smoothing out her black skirt as she pecked his lips. ''Phone honey?''

"Maybe." He pulled her a bit closer for another soft kiss, reaching for his phone. She closed her eyes, kissing him. He carried on kissing her, his eyes fluttered closed as he took the phone from his pocket. Her hands were rested on his cheeks.

"Don't go too far okay? Stay where I can see you." He whispered once he pulled back, handing her the phone.

''I will.'' She smiled at him, taking the phone as she sat on his lap. He smiled widely, placing a kiss on her shoulder. "Close enough." His arms wrapped around her middle.

''Hmm good.'' She dialled her father's number. Derek placed few more kisses on her neck before just simply holding her as she waited her dear father to pick up.

"Caleb." Caleb Montgomery answered the phone.

''Hey it's me.''

"Addison!" He said, you could sense the happiness in his voice.

''Hey.'' Addison smiled, leaning back against Derek as she watched her children.

"How's my favourite daughter?" He grinned, looking at his watch. They were probably changing the planes now.

''Your ONLY daughter. I'm good, tired, we're in between changing planes.''

Caleb chuckled at her. "And yeah flying is hard. You should try to catch some sleep on the plane."

''Yeah well, I suck at that really.''

"Well if it helps any, you could sleep in your old room for a few days. We haven't changed it that much. You still have the same big bed you wanted and then not even a year later you went to the States."

''Mom won't be okay with that.''

"She's your mother not the Satan, she'll be fine with it. The kids sleep through the nights now, don't they? I can't see a problem here."

''She hates children, she hates MY children.'' She whispered.

"She doesn't hate children." Caleb sighed. "She just hates having them around the house on her way but it's not like she's ever here anymore. There's always a dinner or a party."

''Like always.''

Caleb sighed, shaking his head. "Look just for a few days, get your sleeping rhythm back to normal."

''We'll see okay?''

"We'll see but you know you're always welcome."

''Yeah, thanks dad.'' She smiled. ''Hey do you wanna talk to the kids?''

"Muffin, I'd love to!"

''Great.'' She smiled widely.

"Thank you Addie." Caleb put away the magazine he had been reading.

''Which do you want first?''

"Umm give me Hailey. I don't know, either one of them."

''Okay. Bug?'' Addison looked at her daughter.

"Yeah?" The little girl batted her eyelashes, swallowing the last mouthful of noodles.

''Can you come here please baby?'' She sat down on her own chair.

The little girl raised her eyebrows slightly but then smiled and walked to her mother, climbing onto her lap once she reached her.

''Sweetie do you know who I have on the phone?''

"Nooo... wait yes! You told daddy you were gonna call daddy so it's mommy's daddy." She gave her a sweet smile.

''Yeah it's my daddy, your grandpa.''

"Oh! My other grandpa? Not daddy's daddy? Mommy's daddy?"

''Uhuh. Do you wanna talk to him?''

"Could I?" Her eyes widened.

''Mhm.''

"Wow..." The little girl took the phone from her mother, breathing directly into the phone. ''Hello?'' She asked quiet and careful.

"Hi Hailey, this is your grandpa." Caleb said with a smile on his face, his Australian accent was obvious.

''Grandpa...'' She said quietly. ''You have a weird voice.''

"I do not, it's the accent." Caleb tried hard not to laugh. "You have a very pretty voice young lady, have you ever thought about singing?"

''No.'' She giggled. ''I'm a lion!''

Caleb let out a laugh. "A lion? That must be fun!"

''And my brother is a snake.''

"Justin is a snake? That is so cool. What kind of a snake is he?"

''Erhm...'' She thought about it, putting her finger into her mouth. ''A sweet one.''

"A sweet snake? That sounds interesting." Caleb chuckled at the innocent answer of the two-year-old.

''He's very sweet! What animal are you?''

"I don't know really. What do you think I could be? Maybe a leopard? Or.... kangaroo."

''Kangaroo!!''

Caleb shook his head, laughing. "Okay then, grandpa is kangaroo."

The little girl giggled.

"Well how are you feeling Hailey? Are you excited about coming to Australia?"

''I am!'' She grinned from ear to ear.

"Yay!" Caleb chuckled. "We're going to spend a lot of time together then."

''That's gonna be a looooot of fun.''

"I know! Do you want to do something special in here?"

''Hmm see kangaroos.''

"Really? That would be fun."

''Uhuh.''

"Did you sleep in the plane?"

''No, my mommy did a little, but then she got grumpy. Do you know Grumpy? From Snow white? He's grumpy aaaall the time, that's why he's called Grumpy. What's your name?''

He chuckled at the two-year-old. "Addie can get a little grumpy if she doesn't sleep enough but she doesn't mean it really. And I'm Caleb. You probably won't remember me, you were so little when we met."

''I'm a big girl now!''

"Yeah you are, almost three already!"

''I am!!'' She giggled.

"I remember you very well, you were such a little cutiepie."

She continued to giggle. Caleb laughed softly at her. "Do you have any hobbies my dear?" He wanted to get to know these little ones.

''I like finger painting, playing a lion, stories, princesses oh and pasta-rivers!''

Caleb laughed rather loudly. "Pasta-rivers? What are these pasta-rivers?"

''You don't know what pasta-rivers are?'' She asked shocked.

"No I don't. Would you tell the old man what pasta-rivers are?" He chuckled.

''Hmm in Australia.''

"Oh you got me excited, not a nice thing to do young lady." He smiled, shaking his head a little. She giggled and then yawned.

"Are you a little tired?" He asked softly. She nodded, though he couldn't see it.

----

Few hours later they were all seated in the plane, the twins were asleep and the adults were watching a movie. Addison looked at Derek next to her, who was occupied with the movie as she pulled the blankets over the twins next to them as well for themselves. Derek smiled a little, continuing staring at the screen while he placed a light kiss on her cheek. She turned to kiss his ear. He pecked her lips gently before focusing back on the movie. She started kissing his neck and jaw. He tilted his neck to the side a bit, closing his eyes, she surely got his attention now. Under the blankets, her hand moved from his stomach to his thigh. He gasped a little, looking around a little to see who heard this. Slowly her hand moved to his crotch, noting most people were asleep. He bit on his lip, his eyes closing as he tried not to moan. She kept kissing his neck and jaw, unbuttoning his jeans. He could feel himself growing against her hand as he carried on biting his lip. She softly bit on his skin, slipping her hand into his boxers. A gasp left his lips and he immediately felt himself getting harder. She took him into her hand, pushing his boxers down a bit. He coughed into his fist, trying to act casually while her hand was about to do miracles to him. She started breathing hot air into his ear as she stroked him. He shut his lips tightly, his eyes still closed.

''Tell me what to do.'' She breathed. "I...can't." He mumbled, a little moan leaving his lips due to everything he was feeling. She stroked him faster and longer, massaging his tip with her thumb. "Oh dear god…" He moaned quietly, pressing hips lips against hers, enjoying every single move she made. ''Like that?'' She whispered in his ear. He nodded his head, not able to talk properly. "Much."  
''Good.'' She smiled and kissed his cheek, moving her hand faster over his hard member. He could already see the edge getting closer, all of his thoughts fading away, trying hard not to moan out. She pumped him harder in her hand. Just a few moments later he bit on the insides of his cheeks, a moan or two managed to escape his lips as his orgasm crashed over him. She kept going until he was fully finished. He slowly let his eyes open, his still breathing heavy. She smiled and pecked his cheek. "Hmmm." Derek shifted on the chair a bit and placed a kiss on her lips. Addison smiled at him. He smiled back at her. "I love...you." He was still slightly out of breath.  
''I love you too Der.''  
Derek smiled widely and placed another short kiss on her lips.

''Wanna you know...to me..?''

"Yes, just recovering a little first..." He slowly kissed her, moving his hand onto her thigh, slowly starting to brush it. She softly kissed him back, sitting back in her seat comfortably. He smiled against her lips, moving his hand a bit upwards, massaging her thigh slowly. She rested her arms around his neck. He moved a little on his seat, letting his hand go under her skirt. She let out a small moan. He slowly parting her lips with his tongue as his fingers played with her...thong? Yes it was definitely was a thong, a wide smirk spread over his face. She massaged his tongue, parting her legs for him. He slowly let his fingers move over the fabric teasingly, still not pulling them down. She let out moan in anticipation. Derek's fingers travelled over the most private part of her body, feeling how wet she already was. She pulled back from the kiss, rested her head back against the headrest. He pulled down her panties and kissed her neck softly. ''Don't drop them.'' She mumbled, god knows who sat there before and how dirty that floor was. He nodded his head, not pulling them down completely. "We could have just gone to the restroom you know?" He mumbled softly against her neck as his fingers moved along her inner things. ''Not leaving twins here.'' She breathed out. "Hmhmm you have a point." He murmured, kissing her neck again as he slowly pushed two fingers into her. She threw her head back, trying to suppress a loud moan. He smiled softly against her neck, after a few moments his fingers started pumping in and out of her. ''Oh.'' She moaned, biting on her lip as she felt herself getting even wetter. He sucked on her neck lightly as his fingers carried on the movement. ''Derek.'' She breathed out, nuzzling her face in his neck to muffle her moans as she took hold of his hand, moving it harder and deeper. He grinned widely at her reaction to him, curling his fingers inside of her as he kept the movement hard and deep letting it get a little bit faster. She kept moaning into his neck, starting to tighten around him. He breathed hot air into her ear before sucking on her earlobe. ''Hmmmm Derek.'' She felt herself getting closer. He smiled softly before moving his fingers a bit deeper, as deep as he could, curling them once again. She arched her back at his action. He planted kisses all over her neck and her throat.

After a few seconds she moaned out his name as her orgasm crashed upon her.

He placed his lips on hers, trying to muffle her moaning a bit as he kept moving his fingers till she came down from her high. Her breathing was quick and heavy. He slowly removed his lips from hers, pecking her lips once. "Liked that?"

''Hmm more than you know.'' She smiled. Derek grinned softly and pecked her lips again before removing his hand.

''I'm so in the mood right now.'' She said annoyed.

"I know, me toooo, badly." He pouted and pecked her lips once or twice. "I want you so much right now."

''We're gonna have a lot of sex in Australia.''

A wide smirk spread over his face. "I like, no, correction, I love that thought."

''Hmm, though my dad asked me to stay at our home for a few days before going to the apartment.''

"You have gotta be kidding me. That'd be like TWO days without sex. Addison, TWO days."

''What do you mean? I didn't say no sex.''

"Well it'd be kind of hard at the house..?" He started smiling again, bad naughty horny Addison Shepherd was back.

''Why?''

"Well your parents are there and all..." He shrugged before kissing her softly.

''I have my own storey.''

"Okay, much better." He smiled at her.

''Uhuh.'' She smiled back at him. He brushed her thigh gently before placing a small kiss on her lips again. "I love you Addison."

''I love you too Der.''

"This will be a fun trip." He smiled.

''Hmm I'm sure.'' She smiled back at him, pulling her thong back on and zipped her skirt back up.

He moved on his seat a bit and did the button of his jeans and then the zipper. "Lots of sex, beautiful nature and your family. Ah this will be quite fun."

She chuckled at him, pulling the blankets up high and she pulled her knees to her chest. He smiled widely and slowly draped his arm around her shoulders, bringing her a bit closer. She cuddled up against him. He placed kisses on her hair and slowly let his other hand move onto her stomach. A smile crept onto her face. Derek rubbed her stomach gently, in a few months there'd be a pretty baby bump showing, hopefully. She kissed his cheek again, smiling. He smiled widely and turned his head, pouting his lips together a little bit. She sweetly smiled at him. He pecked her lips tenderly.

''I love you.''

"I love you way more." He smiled at her.

''Hmm no, shut up.''

"Never." He placed a kiss on her nose. "Never ever."

She giggled.

"Ah there's the giggle I love." He placed a kiss on her nose again.

''Shush.''

"I already told you, neeeeever gonna shut up."

''Hmmm why not?''

"Becaaaaaaaause." Derek pecked her lips.

''Yeeees?''

"I don't have any reasons." He pouted.

''Then shut up.'' She joked.

"Nuhuh." He chuckled at her.

''Yuhuh.''

"Nuhuh." He pouted. She stuck out her tongue. He grinned at her, giving a light kiss on the tip of her tongue. This made her laugh loudly. He laughed as well, giving her a decent kiss on the lips.

''Hmm thank you. We should sleep.''

"We should." He replied with a small sigh. "You wore me out woman."

She smiled, snuggling against him. He wrapped his arms around her tighter and softly brushed her stomach. "Sleep well." He whispered to the baby.

''Night honey.''

"Night my love." He smiled and kissed the top of her head. "Sweet dreams."

''You too.'' She closed her eyes. Derek let his eyes shut, holding his wife close to him as he let the sleep take over. A few minutes later she fell asleep in his arms.


	27. Home

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 27 - Home_

Finally after a flight that seemed to last ages, the Shepherd family finally stepped on firm land. The second his foot hit the ground he smiled, this trip was going to be simply AWESOME. Addison had a permanent smile on her face, holding Hailey on her hip. The airport looked the same as any other but still it felt different. She felt at home.

"We're here." He stated, looking around.

"WOO! Where are grandpa Caleb and grandma???" Justin asked excitedly, looking around as well.

''Hmm they should be behind the gate.'' Addison answered, as they looked out for their luggage.

"YAY!" Justin giggled, tapping his little hands on Derek's chest. "What are they like?"

"Your grandpa is a veeeeery nice man." Derek answered.

''He is.'' Addison smiled.

"And he looks a bit like mommy, he has the same red hair." Derek smiled as he spotted one of the suitcases.

''I'll get it.'' Addison handed Hailey to her husband.

"Honey, you're carrying a little person inside of you, you shouldn't be carrying anything." He said a bit in an overprotective way though he already had a twin on his each hip.

''I won't carry it.'' She walked towards the suitcase.

"Well true but still." He shrugged a bit. She got off the suitcase and put it on the floor.

"There's another one." Derek nodded towards one of their suitcases. She got that one as well. Derek smiled and walked closer to his wife, out of the blue placing a tender kiss on her cheek. He didn't know why, he just felt like it. She gave him a big smile. He flashed a sweet smile back and then observed Hailey who was currently staring at all the suitcases.

''What is it?'' Addison asked her daughter.

"I can't see my Barbie-suitcase." She answered after a moment.

''It'll come by.''

"It better! It was pretty and pink!"

''Do you wanna get closer and look with mommy for it?''

"Yeah..." Hailey nodded looking serious. Addison picked her up and walked closer. Derek stood there with the suitcases, holding the little boy on his hip.

"Where is it?" Hailey asked.

''It'll come by, just wait.''

"I don't like waiting!" She pouted.

''I know honey.''

She carried on pouting, looking for a pink Barbie suitcase. "When will it come??"

''When it comes.'' Something pink came by.

"Is that mine?!?" She asked excitedly.

''Hmm I think so.''

"OOOH!" Hailey's little hand reached for it.

''Careful baby, it's heavy.''

"But I'm strong! I ate my food and drank my milk like daddy told me to!" She grabbed the suitcase and tried to lift it, failing. Addison quickly grabbed it. Hailey pouted. "I could have done it you know??"

''I know sweetie.'' She set it down on the floor, grabbing the Spiderman suitcase that came after it.

"That's Jussie's!!" She smiled excitedly.

''It is!'' Addison smiled, putting it down as well. ''We need two of your backpacks now.''

"Oooh the pink one with ponies??" She grinned.

''Mhm.'' She pecked her daughter's cheek.

"Yay! When will it come??" She smiled brightly, looking at all the bags, not spotting her backpack anywhere.

''Soon honey.''

"I can't wait!" She grinned.

Addison chuckled at her daughter. ''Give mommy a kiss?'' The little girl pursed her lips together and closed her eyes. Addison smiled and placed a kiss on her daughter's lips.

"Mommy, why do mommy and daddy kiss in a weird way?" She asked innocently, looking at the bags again.

''What do you mean honey?''

"You don't kiss me like you kiss daddy."

''That's because daddy and I are married.''

"Oh... why do people get married?"

''Because they love each other.''

"But I love you, why won't we get married?"

''Because you're my daughter honey.''

"So... could I marry nanna then?"

''She's your family, and that's a different kinda love.''

"Oh... what is love like?"

''It's....not something you can explain.'' She got Justin's backpack. Hailey pouted. "WHY NOT?? How do I know if I'm in love then? How do you know you love daddy?"

''Because when you're in love you will know it.''

The little girl crossed her arms. "Daddy would have explained!"

''Sweetie you're two, you don't have to think about that yet.''

Hailey stuck out her tongue. "What if I meet my prince charming now? And then I miss him! I don't recognize him. I won't know I'm in love. That would not be fun." This girl watched way too much Disney. Addison rolled her eyes and sighed, she was way too tired for this.

Hailey spotted her backpack. "MINE!" She pointed at it, instantly forgetting what they were talking about. Addison walked towards it and got it out of the line.

"Me, me, me!" Hailey held out her hands for it. She gave the backpack to her.

"Yay!" Hailey hugged it and held it close. Addison smiled. ''Don't loose it.''

"I won't, never ever ever." She mumbled as the backpack was held close to her little body. She pecked her cheek and waved towards Derek. He waved back and said something to Justin, taking the two suitcases and starting to walk towards them. When they arrived Addison gave Justin his backpack. Justin took it quickly and smiled. "Thank you momma!"

''There ya go sweetie.''

He grinned widely and looked at the Spiderman bag of his while Derek quickly pecked Addison's lips. "We have everything?"

''Yeps.''

"Good, good... let's go then."

''Hmhmm.'' She put Hailey down on the floor and got a cart, putting hers and Hailey's suitcase on it. Hailey climbed on top of the suitcases while Derek took another cart, placing his and Justin's suitcase on it and then also the bag the little boy had given him. "Pleeeeeeeease let me stay here pleaseeeee." Hailey batted her eyelashes.

''You can sit on it.'' Addison smiled down at her, starting to push the cart.

"Yay!" Hailey held onto the suitcase she was sitting on and started humming. They walked towards the end of the gate.

"Where are they?" Justin asked, looking around once they reached their destination. Derek looked around as well. Addison stopped and searched the crowd. Then they saw a familiar looking man standing there with a sign that said 'Welcome home Ads' there was a little smiley face drawn after the sentence. As soon as she saw her dad she ran towards him. Derek smiled at the sight, watching it with his children. Caleb's face turned into a smile and he held out his arms for her. She ran into his arms. Quickly his arms wrapped around her tiny figure and he held her tightly like he was never planning on letting go. Tears streamed down her face, hugging him tightly, not caring they were drawing attention. Tears welled up in his eyes and he placed kisses on her red hair before taking her face to his hands, kissing her cheek at least million times.

''I missed you so much.'' She said through the tears.

"I missed you too. I love you so much Addi." He placed few more kisses on her cheek before hugging her again.

''I love you too daddy.''

He hugged her tightly, his arms around her, placing light kisses on her hair. God he had missed her. She closed her eyes, holding him as close as possible.

"God Addie, I'm never going to let go of you again." He mumbled, wiping away the tears with his other hand.

''I missed you so freaking much.''

"I missed you too, god Addison I really did." He whispered the last words before hugging her again. She wiped away her tears. He pulled back slightly and looked at her. She gave him a wide smile.

"You look amazing." He placed a kiss on her forehead. "Now where is that man that stole my little girl?"

She chuckled. ''There.'' She pointed at their direction. Caleb smiled widely. "The kids have grown up so much, shall we go there?"

''Yeah, of course.''

Caleb wrapped an arm around his daughter's middle as they walked towards the rest of the Shepherds. Addison smiled widely at her family as she approached them. Derek gave her a wide smile back. "Hails, Jussie, that's your grandpa."

Both kids looked at Caleb with big eyes. Caleb smiled at Derek. "Ah, Derek."

Derek smiled broadly back at him, walking a bit closer, shaking his hand before they hugged in a manly way. Hailey sat on her suitcase, kicking her legs around as she felt a bit shy. Derek lowered to the little girl's level. "You remember Caleb grandpa? Say hello to him."

''Hey.'' She said shyly, shifting closer to her father.

"That's my girl." Derek placed a kiss on her cheek as Caleb walked a bit closer, giving her a smile. "Hi Hailey."

"HI!" Justin greeted loudly. This made Addison chuckle. Derek shook his head amused as Caleb let out a laugh, looking at Justin now. "Hi Justin, how are you?"

''Great!'' He smiled widely.

"Oooh that's great!" Caleb lowered himself to the little boy's level and held out his hand. Justin shook his hand. Derek laughed softly and Caleb smiled. "Can I call you Juss instead of Justin?" Caleb asked, they were still shaking hands.

''Yeah!''

"Okay that's good to know." Caleb smiled before getting up, stopping shaking his hand. Justin smiled widely. Derek got up and picked up his little girl. She held onto his neck safely. Derek placed a kiss on the little girl's cheek before smiling. "Are you a little shy Hails?" He asked.

''No.'' She said instantly, still holding onto him tightly.

"Okay then, because there is no reason to, really."

''Yeah that's your grandpa Hails.'' Addison smiled. Just the sound of her voice made Derek smile and Caleb sure did notice this. "Yeah, it's just me, grandpa." He said softly. Hailey gave him a small smile.

"I have this feeling that I have to bribe her with ice-cream or lollipops." Caleb mumbled before giving the little girl a smile.

''Don't you dare.'' Addison warned. Caleb let out a laugh, nudging his little girl. "I wouldn't."

''She'll warm up to you.'' She promised.

"Well I hope so." Caleb smiled a little before turning to look at Derek again, giving him a bit bigger smile and Derek instantly smiled back.

''Mom at home?''

"Yeeeeah." He turned to look at his daughter.

''Yeah....thought so.''

Caleb placed a kiss on Addison's cheek and Derek felt a little bit of jealousy going through his body, he couldn't really help it. Addison smiled widely.

"She's okay with you staying by the way." Caleb said, colouring the truth a little bit, they had had a small argument about it.

''Really?'' Addison frowned, finding this hard to believe.

"Yeah, she's not such a bad woman Addison." Caleb shrugged. Addison raised her eyebrow and looked into the other direction, it was better not to respond to that.

"Hmm so are we ready to go?" Caleb asked, looking at Derek, raising his eyebrows.

"Well we have everything we need."

''Yeah.'' Addison picked her daughter up. Justin sat on top of the men's luggage and Derek smiled a bit.

"Okay good." Caleb smiled as well. Addison hugged her daughter, giving her a kiss before starting to push the cart. Derek placed a light kiss on Addison's cheek once he was next to her, pushing his cart as well. Caleb was walking in front of them. She walked closer to her husband, needing the closeness as they walked through the crowded airport. He smiled and placed another light kiss on her cheek before giving her another kiss on her lips. "I love you."

''I love you too.'' She smiled.

''Hungryyyyyyy.'' Hailey whined.

"We'll eat soon." Derek assured her, giving her a smile.

''Noooow.''

"What do you want to eat then? Maybe there's a nice restaurant somewhere near-by."

''Pizza!''

"You okay with that?" Derek looked at his wife with a puppy-look on his face.

''Yeah sure.''

"Okay. Pizza it is then. Caleb, you mind if we have dinner? Have you eaten anything yet?"

''Nope, just breakfast.'' He gave his son-in-law a big smile.

"Okay, perfect." Derek smiled back at him broadly. "So you know any good places?" He lives here, Derek, of course he does. He mentally slapped himself.

''I do.'' Caleb chuckled.

"Of course you do, god that was a stupid question." Derek shook his head amused by his own question.

''Yeah kinda.'' He laughed. Derek laughed a bit. "I'm blaming the time difference."

''Uhuh, sure. How was the flight by the way?''

"It was.... surprisingly good." He kept himself from grinning. "The kids behaved well."

''Ah that's great.''

"Yeah it is." Derek placed a kiss on top of Justin's head.

''PIZZA!'' Justin pointed as he spotted a pizza hut in the airport.

"Oooh very good Justin." Derek smiled widely as they made their way towards it.

Justin smiled proudly. They walked into the pizza hut and Derek smiled. Addison sat the cart close to their table and sat down with Hailey. Derek placed the cart next to the other and sat down opposite to Addison and Justin sat down next to him so that Caleb could sit at the end of the table. Caleb sat down, smiling.

"So Caleb, how are things?" Derek started the conversation, smiling widely.

''Good, they're good. The normal you know.''

"Yeah that's great." Derek nodded, softly brushing Justin's hair.

''What about you guys?''

"Great, simply great." Was Derek's reply, and they were doing great, most of the times anyway.

''Good, good.''

"Yeah it really is." Derek smiled widely.

"How's the school going?" Caleb looked at Addison.

''Erhm well...I'm taking a break from it for a while.''

"Cause of the baby?" He asked simply.

''Yeah and just stuff...''

"Oh... okay." Caleb nodded. She nodded as well.

"Well you have any plans for your visit? Hailey told me on the phone that she wanted to see kangaroos."

''Kangaroos!'' She said cheerily.

"Justin has a thing for them as well." Derek shook his head amused.

''Well we want to just go through the country, and maybe go some baby shopping for a little.''

"Yeah nothing special, just spending time with you I guess." Derek said.

"Ah, sounds like fun."

''Uhuh.'' A waitress arrived.

"Hello what can I get you?" She smiled politely, looking at Caleb.

"I'd take a Hawaii pizza, please." He smiled back at the waitress.

''Okay, what about you?'' She looked at Derek after writing Caleb's order down.

"I'm going to take the same." Derek replied, looking down at Justin. "What do you want?"

"PIZZA!" He replied with a grin.

''And what kinda pizza?'' The waitress smiled at the little boy.

"Umm... one with tuna!"

''With tuna? And what else would you like on it?''

"Ummm apple!"

''Apple? What about pineapple?''

"Umm I guess. And oh oh! Ketchup!"

''Would you like tomatoes on it too?''

He nodded his head excitedly.

''And melted cheese?'' The waitress was smiling. He grinned. "Of course! I LOVE CHEESE? Do you like cheese too?" He asked the waitress.

''It's great.''

"Yay! Hear that mommy?? She likes cheese too!"

''I do.'' Addison smiled.

''I want cheese too!'' Hailey said excitedly.

"And what else does the little miss want?" The waitress wrote down the orders.

''Uhm the same as Juss.''

"Okay, your brother you mean?" The waitress gave them a smile.

''Yeah!''

"Okay" She let out a laugh and wrote t down. "What about you?"

''Oh I'm fine.'' Addison shook her head.

"Addison you should take something." Her father said with a smile.

''I'm fine dad, I'm not that hungry.'' She gave him a smile.

"Take something, anything, I'm paying, so eat." Caleb smiled again.

''No really, you know I'm not that into pizza.'' Ah that was a lie.

"We also have some salads." The waitress said, making Caleb nodd.

"Take a salad then, it was a long flight Addison."

''I ate on the plane.''

"You didn't." Derek pointed out, raising his eyebrows a little. "Take something, please."

Addison gave him a look. ''I'll have some orange juice please.''

Derek sighed a bit at the look he received. "That's no food, you know it's not."

Caleb just looked between the couple, confused.

''I realize that isn't food.'' Addison crossed her legs.

"Take some food please, you haven't eaten since we changed planes." Derek looked straight into her eyes.

"What's going on?" Caleb asked.

''Nothing.'' Addison simply responded and looked at the waitress. ''We'd also like three orange juices. Dad?''

"Um I'd take the same." Caleb threw his daughter a questioning look.

"I'm fine with water." Derek said and tried not to look at Addison.

"Okay, I'm bringing your orders as soon as possible." The waitress smiled and left.

Addison turned back to the table. Derek made himself busy with Justin, talking to him about the Australia trip. Addison simply looked down at the table, playing with her fingers. "Hmm..." Caleb looked between the two of them, something was off. No one knew what to say.

* * *

Later that day they found themselves in front of the Montgomery's' house. Derek was carrying Justin once again and Addison had Hailey on her hip. All the four of them had their eyes on the big white house. Addison was smiling widely. She was home.

"This looks nice." Derek commented.

''It's big!'' Hailey said in awe.

"It's white!" Justin pointed at it with a big smile on his face.

''It is.'' Addison smiled.

"It sure is." Caleb smiled, it was his dream house.

''Ring the doorbell?''

"Or use the key?" Caleb held out his keys and few moments later the door was open. Addison stepped inside excitedly.

"We're home!" Caleb yelled, wow it felt good to yell 'we' again. After a few seconds Maria walked into the hallway. Derek's face immediately dropped but few seconds later he managed to fake a small smile. Caleb instead walked towards his wife and planted a kiss on her cheek. "Hi."

''Hello darling.'' She greeted her husband.

"Hmm is everything okay?" He asked and placed another light kiss on her lips now.

''Yeah.'' She turned to look at her daughter and her family.

"Hello." Derek said in a cold way, hoping that no one else than Addison could notice this.

''Hello Derek.'' She said without any emotion.

''Addison.'' She nodded at her daughter. Derek shook his head at the greeting, this really wasn't that much fun. Caleb gave Addison a small smile.

''Hi mom.'' Addison gave her a weak smile.

"How are you?" Maria asked politely, not really interested in hearing the answer.

''I'm good...fine.''

"Okay." Her mother nodded and walked into the living room. Derek sighed.

Addison sighed as well, shifting Hailey on her hip. Derek looked at Addison, everything his mother had said, might actually be true.

''So...'' She tried to break the silence.

"She hasn't changed." Derek commented in a whisper to Addison, Caleb couldn't hear this and threw the couple and apologizing smile.

''Yeah...'' Addison said with a sad smile.

"Sorry about that." Caleb apologized for his wife who he knew wouldn't do it.

''It's not your fault.'' She shrugged, letting Hailey down to the floor.

"Well anyway. Come in." Caleb walked a bit further into the room and hung his jacket.

''Yeah.'' Addison took off her children's coats and hung up her own as well. Derek shrugged off his coat and hung it next to Addison before he let his gaze wonder around the hall. It was huge, well to him it seemed huge.

''Erhm can we put our stuff in our rooms?''

"Of course you can, you know where your room is." Her father replied, making Derek nod.

''Thanks.'' She mumbled, picking up Hailey and two suitcases.

"Let me take those." Derek reached for the suitcases Addison had, they were the two heavy ones, Derek's and Addison's. "You take the kids' bags"

''You sure?''

"Yes, I'm sure." Derek gave her a little smile and placed his hand on Addison's that was around the handle. ''Okay.'' She gave him a tired smile back, letting go of the suitcases. Derek placed a light kiss on her hair and then took the suitcases. She took the children's suitcases and went upstairs.

Few minutes later Derek walked up the same stairs, followed by the twins. "Addie?" He called, he was completely lost in the big house.

''Yeah?'' She called back.

"I'm kinda lost." Again, he added in his mind. He walked towards the voice.

''Where are you?''

"If only I knew." He replied, still walking. She frowned, poking her head out of the door.

"Ah. Thank you." Derek made a small smile and walked to the room. Hailey giggled at her mother. Addison smiled at her daughter. ''I'm in my old room, we'll be staying here and the twins in the room I had when I was a kid.''

"Okay." Derek smiled and placed a little kiss on her cheek, those ones that were a habit and you just simply placed all over your better half, he couldn't control it.

''Can you put the things in the kids room?''

"Yeah sure wait a moment." Derek said and placed the suitcases into their room and then walked out of the room, grabbing the kids' stuff.

''It's the one two rooms to the right.''

"Thanks." Derek walked towards the room. "Come on monkeys." He said to the two overly-excited kids that ran (with unsteady steps) behind him. Addison smiled and looked around her room, taking a deep breath.


	28. Daddy's little girl no more

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 28 – Daddy's little girl no more_

"Here we are." Derek said as they arrived at Addison's childhood home in Australia.

''Yeah.'' She smiled softly.

"It looks good." Derek had to admit that, they sure had a good taste.

''What does?''

"The whole house. I love it."

''Yeah... well, an interior designer did it.'' She shrugged.

"Oh..." Derek shrugged as well.

''Yeah... but my room is done partly by me.''

"Well I love your room, it looks great." Derek smiled at his wife.

''Thanks.'' She chuckled. ''What are the twins doing?''

"They're playing nicely in your old room, I hope." He added the last one after a moment. "They're good kids, they can behave."

''They are.'' She nodded, opening her suitcase.

"Yeah they always do." Derek placed a kiss on her hair and then moved towards his suitcase. She got out her underwear and walked towards her drawer, throwing out the old underwear that was still in there before putting the other in. Derek looked at her walk and do her stuff, just looking at the way her body moved, the way her hips swung. She did the same with her clothes, un-aware of her husband. Some time passed and he hadn't really even moved, he just kept looking at her. She turned around and looked at him. ''What are you doing? Why aren't you unpacking?''

"What?" He snapped out of it, looking at her before a smile graced his lips.

''What are you doing?''

"I'm just looking at you." He replied truthfully and then turned to look into his suitcase.

"What for?"

"Because you look amazing, you're my wife and I have the right to look at you any time I want." Derek smiled and started unpacking. This put a smile on her face.

"Okay where can I put these?" He asked, taking the pile of shirts.

''In my closet.''

Derek did as told and unpacked his clothes and placed them into her closet. This time Addison watched him while he unpacked. After he was done he turned on his heels and looked at her, a smile lingering on his lips. She smiled at him. He walked closer to her, placing a quick kiss on her lips.

''Help me with unpacking?''

"Of course." He kissed her again before turning to look at her suitcase.

''Thanks.'' She gave him a smile.

"It's okay." Derek replied and began to unpack her stuff with her. She started putting her shoes on her shoe rack.

"Okay now you're going to tell me why you women have a thing for shoes." Derek let out a laugh and looked at the shoes.

''No.'' She chuckled.

"Yesss, what's so special about them. Well I get sexy stilettos and stuff like that but why so many?" He took some more stuff from the suitcase.

''I just like them.'' She shrugged. Derek grinned and placed a little kiss on her lips. "I know you do."

''Yeah so, don't question it.''

"Won't, ever again." He placed another light kiss on her lips. "I love you."

''I love you too.'' She wrapped her arms around his neck, smiling brightly at him.

"You better." Derek kissed her softly, his arms moving around her middle so that they were close to each other.

''Do you wanna go into town today?''

"Sure if you want to." He smiled at her.

''Yeah I do.''

"Okay then we're going into the town." Derek pecked her lips tenderly. "What will we do there?"

''Shop around a little?''

"Yeah sounds good." He nodded his head.

''Kay, great.''

"Yeah, in few hours maybe? After we've finished unpacking and stuff like that."

''Yeah.'' She nodded, smiling.

"Hmm this will be fun." He mumbled as he placed a kiss on her lips

''Was that meant sarcastic?''

"Not really, it might actually be fun." He said instantly.

''Yeah.'' She nodded. ''Anything you want to get?''

"Well I need new jeans and some t-shirts. Nothing special."

''Okay.'' She smiled. ''We have good shops here.''

"Yeah, you should help me a bit with the clothes." He gave her a smile, tilting his head to the side a little.

''Hmm I need to pick up some clothes and underwear as well, I don't know how long we're staying so.''

A grin spread on his face once she said underwear. "Uhuh?"

''Hmm?''

"Nothing." He placed a kiss on her lips and grinned again.

''Seriously what?'' She chuckled at him.

"Nothing, I just happen to like your underwear." He shrugged before laughing softly and placing his lips on hers, really not able to keep his lips, or his hands, off of her.

''My underwear?''

"Well yeah, they're sexy."

''Oh yeah?''

"Oh yeah." He blushed slightly.

''How?''

"I don't know, they just are."

''Hmm how about, I let you pick them out today?''

"Really?" His grin widened before he kissed her.

''Hmhmm, although I'm probably going to regret it.''

"It's not like I'm gonna make you wear black leather thong and boots Addison." Derek rolled his eyes.

''Good.'' She laughed. ''I'm gonna check on the kids, unpack further for me please?''

"Fine, fine, fine." He rolled his eyes again and unwrapped his arms from around her. "Addie?"

''Ya?''

"I love you." He said simply. She smiled sweetly at this. ''I love you too baby.''

Derek smiled back at her and then moved towards her luggage and began to unpack again. "Give the kids a kiss from me."

''I will.'' She walked into the hallway into her even older room.

"Jussiiiiiieeeeeee, you can't do that! Lego-guys can't live with Barbies!"

''What are you doing sweeties?'' Addison asked, standing in the doorway.

"Playing but Jussie doesn't understand that Legos don't live in the Barbie-land!"

"It's not Barbie-land! It's Lego-land you dummie!" Justin exclaimed without even thinking about it.

''Hey!'' Addison scolded. Justin pouted and crossed his arms while Hailey's bottom lip began to quiver. ''No name calling okay?'' She said sternly.

"But she doesn't let me play!" Justin said a bit of angriness in his voice.

''That does not allow you to call her dummie.''

Hailey reached her arms towards Addison, looking like she was about to start crying any second.

"But she was!"

''Justin!'' Addison said angry as she picked her daughter up. Justin stuck out his tongue stubbornly and started playing with his Lego.

"Justin hurt my feelings!" Hailey cried.

''Sweetie.'' Addison sighed, rubbing her daughter's back. ''I'm not done with you yet mister.'' She looked at her son. Justin made a face and began to hum the Sponge Bob theme song. Hailey's head rested on Addison's shoulder as the tears fell. "Justin is a dummie poopoo-head!"

''Hailey!''

"But he hurt my feelings mommy!" The little girl cried against her mother's strong shoulder.

''That doesn't allow you to call him names, is that clear?''

Hailey nodded, trying to stop the tears. "I'm not dummie!"

''No you're not.''

"Justin was mean to me." She mumbled.

''I know.'' Addison sighed. The little girl kept her arms around Addison's neck tightly when slowly the crying lessened. Addison softly kept rubbing her daughter's back. Few moments later she calmed down, starting to dry her own tears.

''Sweetie will you go help daddy? Then mommy will have a little chat with Jussie.''

Hailey pouted her lips. "Fine."

''Okay.'' She put her daughter down to the floor. Hailey turned around and walked out of the room. Addison watched her so she was sure she'd find the right room.

"Daddy!" The little girl yelled excitedly as she stepped into the right room. Addison smiled softly at the sight.

"I hate the weatherrrrr." Justin pouted and kicked one of his Lego-characters a bit.

''What?'' Addison turned around to look at her son.

"It's too hot here!" The little guy pouted and crossed his arms.

''Well we're not in New York here.''

"I know that, duh?" Justin stuck out his tongue.

''Justin!''

He didn't take back his tongue.

''You're in big trouble Justin Derek Shepherd.''

He shook his head and kept his tongue where it was. "Nuh uh!"

''Put that back right now!'' She raised her voice.

"Fine!" Justin pouted and began to play again.

''No, not fine.'' She walked towards him and took away his toys.

"Nooo! Not fair mommy!" He said shocked, trying to reach them.

''No what you're doing isn't fair.'' She said sternly, holding the toys high enough for him not to reach. Justin furrowed his eyebrows together and tried to reach them again. "No mommy!"

''Yes.''

"NO!" He yelled.

''Don't yell at me.''

Justin tried to take the toy once more before his eyes welled up with tears. Addison kept it away from him. The little boy began to cry, reaching for it again stubbornly. "I don't like you!"

''I don't care.''

Justin hit her foot. "Give it back to me!"

''Justin!'' She yelled angrily.

"Give my toy!" He cried out.

''No.''

"Give me my toy back!" The little boy ordered loudly.

''No!''

"YEEEES!"

''No.'' She put it on top of a drawer where he couldn't reach it.

"No mom!" Justin cried harder and stood on his toes, trying to reach it again.

''Yes, you are a very very very bad boy right now.''

"No I'm not!" He said shocked but was still trying to reach the toy.

''Yes you are.''

"No!" He denied this before he realised there was no way he would be able to reach the toy he wanted. "I'm not bad!"

''Yes you are and mommy is very angry with you right now.''

Justin looked sad, his blue eyes had never looked this light, like baby-blue. It was a sad colour.

''You are staying in this room alone, understood?''

"NO! Why am I alone?!" He exclaimed.

''Because you're being bad.''

"No! I don't need to be alone!" Justin cried, wrapping his arms around Addison's leg.

''Yes you do, this is your time out.'' She pulled back from his grasp.

"No!" Justin yelled loudly and tears stung the back of his eyes again. Time out sounded like a bad word to him.

''Yes, stop yelling.''

Justin walked away from his mother, sitting in the corner with his arms around his legs as the tears fell down his cheeks.

''Go sit on your bed.''

"No!" He sat in the corner.

''Yes.'' She walked to him and picked him up. Justin tried to get away from her grasp. "NO NO NO."

''Don't struggle.''

"NOOOO!" Justin screamed at her face as he was placed on the bed.

''You're going to stay here.''

Justin laid down on the bed and turned onto his side so that he was facing the wall, not looking at his mother.

''I will be back when I think you deserve to leave the room.''

Justin stared at the wall saying nothing. Addison sighed and walked out of the room. The little boy stayed there, staring at the same spot on the wall. Addison sighed, looking at him before she left. In Addison's room, Derek had finished unpacking the bag with the little helper of his.

''Hey.'' She walked into the room.

"Hey." Derek gave her a smile and gave Hailey a little kiss as they sat on the bed.

''What are you doing?''

"Well we finished unpacking a few moments ago..." Derek smiled. "So now we're just sitting here."'

''Okay.''

"Yeah, Hailey told me there was a little argument?"

''Yeah...''

"Tell me later?" Derek asked.

''Justin is having a time-out.''

"What did he do?" His voice was concerned.

''He was calling Hailey names and was being bad.''

Derek sighed. "Okay, that's something he should get punished for. So how long is the time-out?"

''I don't know, five minutes.''

"Okay." Derek said and brushed Hailey's hair a little.

''Yeah...''

He gave her a little smile. She gave him a small one back. He pulled her to sit on the bed next to him and placed a kiss on her cheek. "You did the right thing."

''I just hate doing this.''

"I know you do, he's your baby and you don't want him to hurt or be sad but he deserved it."

''Yeah... I guess...''

"He did." Derek pulled her in for a hug.

''I think I'm gonna check on him.''

"He's on a time-out. Wait for at least a minute."

''He's been in there alone for a while now...''

"That's a part of his punishment."

She sighed. ''Der.''

"If you go there now, you're making him think that a pretty pouting will get him out of any trouble, wait a moment." Derek simply said.

''I don't want to, I've never done this.''

"I know you haven't. You just have to get over it."

She sighed loudly. ''What if something is wrong?''

"Nothing's wrong honey, you just have to count on that."

''No I can't.''

"You have to Addison."

''Why?''

"Because otherwise you'll go crazy, thinking about everything that could happen."

''That's why I have to go check.''

"Fine then." He gave up. She got up and left the room. Derek shook his head and then absently brushed Hailey's hair. Addison walked into the other room. Justin was now staring at the ceiling.

''Justin?''

He stayed silent, a pout on his lips.

''Justin.''

"Mommy?"

''Yes?''

Justin stayed silent, looking at the ceiling, calmed down.

''Are you going to be sweet now?''

He nodded slowly. "Like cotton candy."

''Promise?''

He nodded again, quickly this time.

''Okay, then your time-out is over.''

"Yay!" He smiled.

''What do you say then?''

"Umm... sorry?" He tried to magic word.

''And what are you going to say to Hailey?''

"That I'm sorry." He batted his eyelids.

''And do you mean that?''

"Yeah... Hailey is not a dummie..."

''Okay.''

Justin nodded and slowly sat up. Addison looked at him. Justin looked at the floor, feeling a bit guilty. She crossed her arms. Justin instead held out his arms as he walked towards Addison.

''Yes?''

He batted his eyelids and gently hugged her legs. "I'm sorry."

''Why?''

"Because I yelled...." Justin mumbled.

''If you do that again you'll get another time-out and it will be longer than this one.''

"Longer?" His jaw dropped and he looked shocked.

''Yes, longer.''

He pouted. "I won't yell anymore...."

''Or be a bad boy.''

"I won't be a bad bad boy anymore either..." Justin promised.

''Good.''

"Can I get a kiss?"

She bent down and nodded. Justin pecked Addison's lips and wrapped his arms around her neck.

''Why did you want a kiss now?''

"I felt bad..." Justin explained and looked down at the floor. She looked at her son and gave him another kiss. Justin hugged his mother closely. Addison hugged him back tightly. ''I love you Juss.''

"I love you too mommy." He replied automatically as his arms were kept tightly around her. She stroked his back, still hugging him as she stood back up straight. Justin settled himself on her hip and placed a kiss on her shoulder. Addison gave him a kiss on his forehead. Justin smiled a little and slowly rested his head on her shoulder.

''Let's go to daddy and Bug okay?''

"Okay!" Justin agreed and smiled. She gave him one more kiss before leaving the room. Justin looked around in the hallway and soon they reached the room where Derek and Hailey were. Addison walked into the room with him. ''Der I'm going downstairs with him okay?''

"Okay, have fun." Derek told her with a smile on his face as he slowly laid down on the bed, Hailey right next to him.

''Thanks.'' She smiled at the two, shifting Justin onto her other lip as she walked downstairs.

"What are we going to doooo?" Justin asked impatiently.

''We're gonna go downstairs to grandma and grandpa.''

"Yay!" The little boy grinned. Addison smiled, going outside where she saw her parents sitting on the deck.

"Hi Addison!" Her father instantly smiled at the two of them. "Hi Justin."

''Hey dad.'' Addison smiled. ''Can we eh... sit with you two?''

"Of course you can!" Caleb smiled widely and Justin waved at his grandparents.

"HI!"

''Thanks.'' She sat down on the bench, Justin lying against her, it was clear the little boy was tired. His head was in his mother's lap and Addison softly stroked his hair. Finally the sleep took over his body and mind, his chest rising and falling slowly, breathing deeply. Addison softly smiled at him.

"So... did you unpack yet?" Caleb started the conversation.

''Yeah, yeah we did...''

"Okay that's good...." Her father said softly, looking at Justin.

''Mhm.''

"Yeah..." Caleb looked at his wife for a one short moment before turning to look at Addison again. Addison took a deep breath, her mother hadn't said anything yet.

"How did the flight go?" Maria asked after a while.

''It was good, long but... good...''

"Okay." Maria made a little smile though she had no interest in the flight. "That's good."

''I guess.''

There was another awkward moment of silence. "How are you and Derek?"

''We're good.'' She simply answered. ''You don't have to talk to me.''

"Okay, I just wanted you to know that most people who get married young will get a divorce sooner or later." Her mother blurted out. "So prepare yourself, he might not want you in few years."

''Excuse me?'' She looked at her mother with her mouth open.

"I'm just saying." Maria's tone was cold. Caleb was clearly shocked.

''Derek and I are not going to divorce.''

"I'm just saying." She repeated and held up her hands. "Sweetie you married really young, and neither of you had any experience at all and you have only been together so... beware."

''I've been married for four years now, we have two kids and another on the way, I have nothing to be beware off.''

"Hmhmm okay then whatever you say but when things start hanging it's going to be rough."

"Maria! May I change few words with you in private?" Caleb was still absolutely shocked.

''I'm talking to my daughter at the moment.''

"You're not talking to her, you're saying bad things that aren't even true."

''I'm not saying anything!''

"You are telling her that Derek will divorce her which is not true!"

''How do you know?''

"Well because they love each other, Maria."

''Now.''

"And that love will last you just have to trust on that one."

"Why?"

"Because you just have to, it's not like I'm divorcing you either."

''I didn't say that.''

"Well you're saying that to Addison, Derek is not divorcing her you know that."

''Oh really?''

"Maria, what makes you think he would divorce her?"

''Never mind.'' She gave him a high headed look. Caleb sighed a bit and then turned to face his daughter. Addison was looking at the floor. Caleb wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Don't mind her, okay?"

She didn't answer. Her father placed a kiss on her hair. "He's not going to do that, I don't understand why he would."

''She's right.'' She let out a cynical laugh.

"What?" Caleb wasn't sure if he had heard her right.

''Mom, she's right.''

"What makes you say that? Has he asked for a divorce? Addison what's going on?"

''We were in the middle of a divorce a few weeks back.''

''There, see, I told you so.'' Maria immediately responded.

"You what??" Caleb asked shocked, ignoring Maria. "Then why are you here together??"

''Because we sorted it out.''

''Yeah right.'' Her mother scoffed.

"Maria, shut up now. Why were you going to divorce? What happened between you two??" Caleb couldn't believe this was true, the Derek he knew didn't do this and his daughter wasn't the one getting divorced at the age of 23.

''Stuff.''

"Stuff? Oh what did he do?"

''I'm not going to discuss this with you.''

"Why not? I'm your father Addison, I deserve to know about this stuff."

''No you do not.''

"Addison, are you okay?" He asked, rubbing her shoulder gently.

''I'm fine.''

Caleb sighed a bit. "What are you going to do now? Stay with him? Did he ask for a divorce?"

''No I did and we're married.''

"Okay why did you ask for a divorce?"

''That's something between me and my husband.''

"I was just asking Addison, I just needed to know if it was something serious, if something bad happened, if he did something to you. You're my daughter, I need to know about this stuff."

''No you do not.''

"So what if you would have got divorced? I would have known in two years? You were so close to a divorce and now you're back to normal?"

''Yeah we are.''

"Well that's good..."

''Yes.''

Caleb placed a small kiss on her red hair. "If you want to, you can talk to me."

''I don't want to.'' She said distantly.

"I think I'm going to get something to drink, do you want something to drink?" He asked his daughter as he got up.

''No.''

"Okay." He walked into the house and Addison was left alone with her mother. Addison looked down at her sleeping baby boy, her lips pursed together as she stroked his dark curls.

"How far along are you?"

''Nine weeks.''

"You shouldn't be showing yet." She pointed out rudely.

''I'm not showing.''

"Oh. Well if I were you I'd be a bit more careful with what I eat."

Addison didn't respond and didn't look at her mother either.

"Oh well, someone is stubborn and will never be as pretty as she could." She said and got up, giving the small baby boy a glare of disgust, she had no desire to get to know either one of them.

''As pretty as I could be? What's that supposed to mean?''

"Well just that you could lose a couple more pounds." She said like they were talking about the weather.

''How much do you weight?'' She retorted, looking at her mother.

"That's none of your business." Maria said and gave her a look.

''Funny.''

"What's funny?"

''That you're telling me to drop some pounds, yet you're embarrassed to tell me your weight.''

"I'm not embarrassed to tell you my weight." The woman rolled her eyes.

''Then why won't you?''

"Because I don't know my weight."

''Right.''

"Well that's the truth."

Addison raised her eyebrows at her, not wanting to look at the woman in front of her.

"Oh shush you're the one to talk." Maria rolled her eyes and left with a huff. Addison was left alone on the deck with Justin who was still asleep. She swallowed hard. Justin carried on sleeping, his breathing steady and deep. She closed her eyes, sighing deep. Everything stayed the same for a while though emotions kept going through her. Justin had no idea about the fight. She bit on the insides of her cheeks, her sight getting clouded. Justin gave a little sigh in his sleep. She squinted her eyes shut, tears pouring down from her eyes.

Only a few moments later Caleb walked out of the house, seeing how miserable his daughter was. She had her eyes shut, tears rolling down her cheeks and she had her hand in front of her mouth. "Addison?" His hoarse voice asked with the same familiar accent, his eyebrows furrowing together. Her eyes opened and her head shot up. ''Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't hear you...'' She tried to pretend nothing happened.

"Are you alright?" Caleb asked though it was obvious she wasn't. She nodded and gave him a fake smile. ''Yeah.''

"You're not, what's wrong?" He asked and sat down next to her.

''I'm fine.''

"No you're not Addison, I don't understand why you won't tell me. You used to tell me everything."

''I used to.''

"Why can't you anymore?"

''Things changed.''

"I don't understand, what changed? I know you moved but it's not enough. You're still my daughter and I love you. Tell me, please."

''It's nothing that concerns you.''

"It is if it includes you crying." He said softly.

''It doesn't.''

"Then why are you crying?"

''I'm not crying.''

"Oh please Addison I caught you crying, wouldn't it be just easier to tell your father what's wrong?"

''No.''

"Why isn't it? It should be easy, it shouldn't be hard at all."

Addison didn't respond.

"You can tell me anything." Caleb whispered and hugged his daughter.

''I don't want to.''

"Why don't you? You can't keep all of it inside of you."

''Yes I can.''

"No you can't, it'll crush you."

''How would you know?''

"It'll crush anyone. Look Addison, just talk about it, to me or Derek, I don't care. You can't feel miserable."

She looked at her son. Caleb placed a kiss on her red hair. "Look, maybe I could help you with it."

''No you couldn't.''

"Why not? What is it that I can't help you with?"

''Have you ever had something, that changed your entire life, and you worked so hard for it and at the end, you get proved it was all for nothing? That no one cared?''

"Not really, Addison what happened?" He asked with a little sigh, his voice full of compassion.

''Nothing. Absolutely nothing.'' The gaze in her eyes showed that she was somewhere else.

"Addison talk to me." Caleb rubbed her shoulder and pulled her a bit closer. She closed her eyes and shook her head.

"You can talk to me, I won't judge, I'll try to help you okay?"

Addison shook her head again.

"Please Addison I can't see you sad and broken down."

''Then don't look.''

"I cannot not-look, please tell me or talk to Derek, talk to someone."

''It's none of your business.''

"I'm your father, it is my business."

''No it's not, I'm an adult.''

"I lived with my parents until I was 25, I was an adult then and still asked them for advice."

''I don't need advice.''

"You need to talk to someone about this."

''No I don't.''

Caleb sighed. "Why are you being this stubborn about this?"

''I'm not.''

"You are, you won't talk, you won't talk to anyone about this."

''I don't have to.''

"What makes you think so?"

''I just do.''

"Fine then, solve the problem on your own."

''I will.''

"Good."

''Yeah.''

"I'm going back inside, you should come too at some point, Derek was asking for you."

''He was?''

"Yeah." Caleb nodded and got up.

''Why?''

"I don't know, I didn't ask."

''Okay...''

Caleb made a small smile and walked back into the house. Addison was again left alone with her sleeping son. She simply sat there and few minutes later the little guy woke up. Addison looked at him. He made a face and few moments later opened his eyes. She gave him a smile. Justin smiled back tiredly. "Hi."

''Hey sweetie.''

"You look like an angel." Justin mumbled still sleep-drunk with a smile on his face, the sun was shining in his eyes and the light hit Addison's hair from the perfect angle.

''What?'' She asked confused.

"You look pretty, angel-ish." Jussie smiled widely and reached for her hair. Addison stroked her little boy's cheek. Justin started brushing her hair softly.

''Did you sleep well baby?''

He nodded his head and stretched a bit. "Hmhmm."

''That's good.'' She continued to brush his cheek. He gave a smile and then started rolling a stray of hair around his finger.

''Do you wanna go to sleep in bed?''

"Maybeee..." He stretched the word.

''Yeah?''

He nodded his head. "I do."

''Okay.'' She bent down and gave him a kiss. ''Do you need a new diaper?''

He nodded his head a bit. "Yeah."

''Okay. Mommy is gonna get a potty for here tomorrow.''

He pouted his lips. "Noo."

''Yes.''

"Whyyy?"

''Do you want to have mommy changing your diapers for the rest of your life?''

He shook his head. "I wanna pee like daddy."

''Then you need to do potty training.''

"I don't want to!"

''Why not?''

"Because the seat is always cold." He said and crossed his arms.

''Not if you sit on it for a minute.''

He pouted. "Fine."

''Good boy.''

He made a smile.

''Come on, let's change you and put you in bed.''

"Okay." He blinked his eyes and draped his arms around Addison's neck.

Addison got up with him. Justin made a little sound of excitement as they got up. She walked into the house. They walked up the stairs and walked into Addison's oldest room which was now the kids' room. She laid him on the bed, changing him. After she was done they smiled and he held his arms up as to be picked up. "Can I sleep in the big bed?"

''What big bed?''

"Your big bed." He mumbled.

''Mine and daddy's?''

He nodded quickly. "Yeah."

''Okay, well let's change your diaper first.''

"Okay." Justin said. "Do I HAVE TO potty train tomorrow?"

''Yes.''

He pouted. "I don't like potty."

''Hailey will have to do it as well.''

Justin smirked. "Hailey has to do potty train too!"

''She does.'' She took off his dirty diaper.

"Okay." Justin stayed still as Addison changed his diaper to a new one. She changed him into his pyjamas. Few moments later the boy was on the floor, walking towards the bed room with his mother. She walked into the room, smiling as she saw her husband and daughter asleep. ''Looks like you're not the only tired one.'' Addison whispered. Derek's arms were around Hailey who was d up against his chest. His chest rose and fell with even rhythm. There was a smile on Hailey's face and another one was decorating his face. She picked Justin up, a smile on her face as she watched her family, putting her son in bed, behind Hailey. Justin smiled widely and draped his arm around Hailey's little stomach and buried his head into her curls. Addison smiled at them widely, this was her perfect family. Derek screwed up his face in his sleep and pulled his daughter a bit closer. She walked closer to them, placing a kiss on Justin's head, then Hailey's and at last she placed a kiss against her husband's lips. Derek moved a bit, after a moment or two he sleepily pouted his lips together, like he was going to peck her lips back. She smiled softly, giving him another kiss before pulling back. "Hmm." He mumbled in his sleep and turned his face to the other side. She let out a small sigh and left the room. Derek stayed there with the two sleeping children, deep inside he knew Addison had been there but right now he was busy with his current dream about their perfect family at a little farm with a dog and two chickens. She walked down the stairs, no clue on what to do. She had dreamed and even wished to go back, and now she was here and it wasn't all that magical, if anything, so far it was even worse. Her life had been a mess, and apparently it still was. She was with the man of her dreams and all she could do was complain and worry. She didn't understand why life was so difficult. Addison loved him, she really did but right now she had no idea on what to do.

She wanted something to break the bad spirit around her. She had thought Australia was that, home, but it turned out not to be. So again, she was back to where she started. Feeling sad, lonely and worthless. Australia was supposed to make her feel better, having her family around her was going to make it all better but it didn't. It was a fact. She let out a loud sigh, deciding to go sit in the deserted kitchen by herself. She sat down on a chair and looked around, it had been renovated, it was all new. The house had changed since she left. It wasn't the same anymore. This made her feel even more bad. Life had gone on without her, no one care. She felt horrible and now there wasn't even someone to turn to, not that she would've anyway. It made her feel like she wasn't part of Australia anymore, like she wasn't missed at all. Her family hadn't even called her, asked how she had been doing. They had seen twice since she left, wedding and the birth of the twins. She had to bite on her lip to keep the tears from falling. She felt her heart clenching up, she just wished she could disappear. She wished she could just leave without goodbyes and finally be happy. She looked around the kitchen, seeing a set of knives. Once more an old friend of hers looked so familiar. She closed her eyes, trying to ban out the bad memories that filled her mind. The memories she had worked so hard to push away.

"I do not want that." She mumbled quietly as her hands curled up in fists, fighting with herself mentally. ''I don't. I don't. I don't.'' She kept repeating through gritted teeth. "No more of that. Knives are bad." She whispered to herself though her teeth again and then opened her eyes. ''No cuts.'' She was breathing heavily. "No scars." She thanked god that Derek had never seen them, they had healed. She tried her best to keep her eyes off of the knives. But every now and then her gaze wondered to them and her stomach did a flip. The baby, she remembered, the baby. I can't do it, she told herself but then looked at the knives again. She let out a loud sigh, getting up and leaving the kitchen early. That was what she had learned, stay away from the temptation. As she walked her stomach carried on doing the flips. She felt sick. Memories were haunting her. She walked through the house. Where? Every room brought up some memories. Fighting, screaming, crying. She felt even more nauseas with each step. She had nowhere to go, she felt trapped. The house wasn't going to make her happy, it could only make her feel worse. Her breath got caught in her throat as she opened the front door.


	29. The hard way

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 29 – The hard way_

She closed the door behind her and walked down the street. The houses were familiar, the Smiths lived in the white one and Roberts in the blue one with dark red roses. They hadn't changed a bit. She sighed, would they even remember her? She wondered, then curiosity began to take over her mind. Would anyone know who she was? Would even her closest friends know who she was? Would they even care? She walked a bit faster as an idea popped into her mind. She walked a few blocks. She stopped in front of a house and looked at it, shaking her head. She was crazy for doing this. Addison quickly walked towards the house. She walked up the steps, sighing deeply before she rang the doorbell. She waited and a few moments later the door was opened by a woman no older than 50.

"Can I help you?" She asked politely as she looked at the woman in front of her.

''Hi.'' Addison gave her a nervous smile. ''Erhm does Rob Urban still live here?''

"Yes, wait a moment. Robbieeeee someone's hereee." She called and gave Addison a smile, not recognizing her though they had met at least hundred times.

''You don't eh...recognize me do you?'' Addison asked, giving the woman a small smile.

"Uhm not really. I'm sorry I probably should." Rebecca Urban smiled awkwardly.

''Addison Montgomery.'' It felt weird to use her 'old' last name.

"Oooh Addison." Her smile brightened. "Wow you've changed so much!"

''Yeah.'' She gave the woman a smile.

"Come on in! I'm sorry I just didn't realise, it's been years!" She was still smiling.

''Yeah it has been.'' Addison nodded.

"How are you doing these days? I heard you moved to the states, wow. Robbieee it's Addie!" She called again.

''Yeah, yeah I have, I live in New York now.'' Addison said as she followed the woman into the house.

''Addie who?'' Rob called back, walking down the stairs.

"Montgomery, the girl you dated." His mother answered instantly before leading Addison into the living room. "New York huh?"

''Yeah, New York.'' She made a smile as Rob went downstairs.

"Wow... so you're in medical school? Do you want coffee? Or tea?" The talkative woman asked.

''Erhm, some tea would be nice please and yeah, I'm in medical school, second year.''

"That's great. That must take all your time." She commented and walked into the kitchen which was right next to living room.

''Yeah well, actually I'm on a break right now.''

"Why are you? You were a bright girl as long as I can remember. It isn't too hard is it?"

''No, no just busy with family life.''

"Family life?" Rebecca's head poked out from the kitchen.

''Yeah, I'm married now and have two children, third on the way.''

"Wow congrats." She smiled at her. "How far along are you? You're clearly not showing so you can't be THAT far along."

''Nine weeks.'' She answered as Rob walked into the living room.

"Nine weeks what?" Rob asked curiously and looked at the redhead.

''Rob.'' Addison looked up at him.

"Hi." He smiled at her, there was something familiar about her though it had been almost ten years now. She got up, knowing he didn't recognize her. ''Addison.''

"Right, Rob." He was still trying to remember her but he just simply couldn't. "It's been a while." He stated.

''And you still don't remember me, great.''

"Not really, I'm sorry Addison." Rob said after a moment. "But you do seem familiar, want to give me a clue?"

"Your ex." His mother called from the living room.

''Addison Montgomery.''

"OH!" He finally remembered. "The girl I dated, you lived few blocks from here right?"

''Eh yeah...''

"Sorry, it's just really been a while." Rob shook his head.

''Yeah...''

"How are you?" He asked as his mother stayed in the kitchen.

''Eh good, just got here today actually. What about you?'' She asked awkwardly.

"Today? Wow. And I'm good, studying." He replied shortly.

''What do you study?''

"Law. You?" He asked as he sat down on the couch.

''Medicine.''

"That's great. Second year?"

''Yeah, you too?''

"Yeah... so are you dating someone?" He didn't see the ring.

''Married actually.''

"Wow... that's cool." He wasn't the committing type at all.

''What about you?''

"Nah, few random dates every now and then nothing serious." He replied.

''Okay.'' She nodded, letting out a small sigh, what exactly did they had in common back then?

"You live out of the city?"

''USA.''

"USA? Seriously?" His eyes widened.

''Yeah, New York.''

"Wow that's great. How's the life there? Different?"

''Yeah, it's really different.''

"Hectic?" He raised his eyebrows.

''Yeah, definitely.''

"But you like it there? Great shops?"

''Yeah it's nice I guess...lived there for seven years now.''

"Seven? Wow... that's nice. So you're married huh?"

''Yeah I am.'' She nodded. ''Four years.''

"Wow, you got married young." He commented, not meaning anything bad with it.

''I know...''

"What's his name?"

''Derek, Derek Shepherd.''

"That's a nice name, so you didn't take his name then?" He asked.

''No I did.''

"Oh... you just said Addison Montgomery." He pointed out before shrugging.

''Yeah I know, but I figured if I said Shepherd you'd have no clue...''

"Yeah probably what would have happened."

''Yeah...'' She shifted uncomfortably.

"The tea's ready!" Rebecca called from the kitchen.

''Better get some tea then...''

"Yeah." Rob got up from the couch and then walked into the kitchen with Addison. They settled at the table. Rebecca was sat at the end of the table and already had a cup of tea in front of her. Addison gave the woman a small smile.

"So... you're back home huh?" She asked after a moment or two.

''Yeah...for a little while.''

"You're going back to NYC? Is your husband here too?"

''Yeah my husband and children are at my parent's house right now.''

"Your children?" Rob's eyes widened. "You have kids? As in more than one?"

''I have two year old twins.''

"Wow. That must be rough." Rob said.

"Rob..." His mother rolled her eyes. "What are their names?"

''Justin and Hailey.''

"Those names are beautiful." Rebecca smiled widely and sipped her tea.

''Thank you.'' She made a smile. ''And yeah it's rough.''

"Yeah? Well they're toddlers, of course it's hard."

''Yeah definitely with a third on the way.'' She blew cold air on her tea as she took a sip.

"Third one??" At this point Rob was kind of glad they hadn't stayed together, he couldn't have possibly handled three children. She nodded.

"Well that makes it even harder..." Rebecca said with her voice full of compassion.

''It's okay, it's all worth it.''

"I bet it is, kids are great but they can be a handful."

''Yeah that's true. What about you Rob, don't you have a girlfriend?''

"I kinda do."

"He likes dating women, a new woman every evening." Rebecca said and gave him a look.

''Ahh I see.'' Addison's eyebrows raised. Rob rolled his eyes. "That is not true, Maybe few per week, I'm just trying to find the right one."

''Right.'' She nodded. Rob nodded as well and started sipping his tea carefully so that he wouldn't burn his mouth.

''Anyway.''

"So..." Rebecca smiled. "What are you doing here? Visiting Caleb and Maria?"

''Yeah, and home I guess.''

"Sounds like fun." Rebecca commented and couldn't possibly be any more wrong.

''Yeah...fun...''

"Did you decide that it's time for a visit or did they ask?"

''I missed Australia so I really wanted to go back.''

"Ohh okay well it's good to go home every now and then."

''Yeah, that's true.''

They each drank their cups of tea in silence. Addison cleared her throat, this was awkward.

Rob got up from the chair. "Addie, do you want to go see my room? It's still the same room though it has a new bed and all that." He gave her a charming smile.

"Yeah a bed for two people." His mother whispered so that neither one of them could hear it.

''Erhm yeah...okay.'' She got up, not thinking anything of it. Rob gave her another smile and they walked out of the room. "So, you liking the Aussie-trip so far?"

''Uh yeah it's good.'' She lied.

"Okay that's great." He led her up the stairs. "Tell hi to your parents from me."

''I will.'' She promised as she looked around on the second floor, he was right, nothing had changed.

"It's the same really, mom liked the original design." He explained as he caught her looking. He pushed open a door closest to the stairs.

''Yeah it's just...weird you know, everything being the same since the last time I was here...'' She walked into his bedroom.

"Yeah? Well sometimes time just stops." He said without even thinking about it.

''Yeah...'' She looked around the room. ''How old were we again? Thirteen, fourteen?''

"You were around fourteen when you left." He said with a little smile and walked towards his desk, pulling out a book from the drawer.

''Sixteen.'' She corrected him. ''I was sixteen when I left.''

"Sixteen? Wow. I thought you were fourteen." He opened the book, flipping some pages.

''Nope.'' She turned to look at him. ''What are you doing?''

"I think, if I remember correctly, that there is a picture of us in here... somewhere." He mumbled and kept looking.

''Oh.'' She went to sit down next to him.

Few moments later a picture caught his eyes. "There." He pointed at a picture of a smiling redhead and him, they were about fifteen in the picture.

''Wow...'' She looked at the picture. In the picture she was sitting next to him on a towel at a pool, his arm wrapped around her shoulder.

"We look so young." He replied and ran his fingers over the picture, looking at it. They had been happy until she had to go.

''We were young...''

His fingers carried on moving on the picture of them, over her towel dressed body.

''It seems like a life time ago doesn't it?'' She asked softly.

"Yeah... kinda..." He turned his gaze to Addison, looking at her. She had changed, her body was more feminine than before, she actually had grown boobs. Her eyes were on the picture. He instead kept looking at her, her face, her lips, her eyes so focused on the picture. She looked like she was a thousand miles away.

"Addison? Have I told you that you look even better than all those years ago?"

''Erhm...I'm going to take that as a compliment...''

"It was meant to, yeah." He smiled again.

''Kinda sounded like you meant I didn't look that good back then.''

"You did look great, and now you look just... wow. I mean anyone would be lucky to have you."

''Thanks.'' She gave him a small smile.

"Anytime." He replied and threw her a grin.

''Maybe you could stop by my parents house these days, meet my husband and all.'' She shrugged. ''I mean, if you want to though, if you don't that's okay too.''

"It's okay, I could do that." He seemed to get lost in her eyes.

''Okay.'' She looked back into his. His eyes wandered on her lips though he knew they shouldn't. She just simply looked at him. He inched his face closer to hers, not giving it a second thought. Her eyes dropped to his lips. Not a second later her lips were crushed under his. He was kissing her. His lips were actually touching hers, like they used to seven years ago. Slowly she started kissing him back. He took the book that was partly lying on her lap and placed it on the bed they were sitting on. She kissed him but she felt nothing. No sparks, no desire, no love. No Derek. He placed his hand on her thigh gently. She pulled back from him, her hand on his chest as to push him away. ''No.''

"No?" He asked her, placing a little kiss on her lips again.

''No.'' She pushed him away.

"Why not Addison?" He asked and brushed her thigh.

''I'm married.'' She batted away his hand. He nodded and just simply looked at her. She shook her head. ''I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come by.''

"It's okay." He stated and shook his head as well. "I shouldn't have.."

''Yeah...'' She nodded and got up.

"It was nice seeing you though." Seeing you, oh yes.

''Yeah...same.''

Rob got up from the bed.

''Anyway, I should go.''

"Yeah probably." He wasn't going to argue on this one. She nodded, walking out of the room. Rob followed her a moment later. She walked down the stairs. They walked into the hall and Rebecca walked to them. "You're going already?" She asked.

''Yeah, thank you for the tea Mrs. Urban.''

"It's okay Addison, my pleasure really. It was nice to see you again." She gave her a smile.

''Yeah, it was, thanks.'' Addison made a smile and opened the front door.

"Come by someday with that husband of yours, I'd really like to see him." Rebecca flashed another smile.

''Yeah, maybe you could come by someday, to see the kids as well.''

"That'd be fun, see you later then." Rebecca waved her goodbye as Addison stepped out of the house.

''Bye.'' She called over her shoulder as she left.

"Bye Addison!" Rebecca was still smiling widely as she closed the front door.

After a few minutes Addison stood back in front of her house, realizing she hadn't brought a key so she rang the doorbell. Derek opened the door a bit later, still looking a bit sleepy, his hair completely messed up.

''Hey.'' She said softly.

"Morning." He mumbled with a smile on his face though it was already afternoon. She walked closer to him and wrapped her arms around him, burying her head in his chest. He pressed a kiss on the top of her head. "Where were you?" His arms were around her.

''Down the street.'' She mumbled, her voice muffled by his shirt. He nodded his head and closed the door with his other hand. "Okay..."

She only held him closer. Derek started placing gentle, loving kisses on her hair.

''I'm sorry.'' She whispered.

"Of what?" He asked confused, holding her like he was afraid she'd break. She pulled back and looked at him. Was she going to tell him? He hadn't either... ''I'm sorry.'' She repeated.

"Sorry about what?" He asked softly, brushing her cheek with his other hand, his other arm still tightly around her middle.

''I-- We kissed...''

"You what?" He asked, sure that he had heard her wrong.

''I went to visit him. I didn't mean to.''

"You...kissed him?" He pulled back a bit.

''He kissed me. I didn't--.''

His mouth hung open and he unwrapped his arm from around her. She just looked at him scared.

"Y--You... you pulled back right?"

''I did.'' She nodded. He nodded his head and placed a hand over his mouth.

''What?'' She looked at him, anxious what he was going to do.

"Who is he?" He shook his head and looked everywhere else but where she was.

''An-- an ex-boyfriend.''

He shook his head again and then finally managed to look at her. "Why?"

''I broke up with him when I left to America...''

"Did you love him?"

''I don't know.''

Derek wanted to get out of the house. "Addison... I... why did you do it?"

''Do what?''

"Why did you.. kiss the guy?"

''I didn't. He-- He kissed me.''

"Did you want to hurt me back? Was that the point of this??" He felt like he wouldn't be able to stay still any longer.

''No. No Derek, no.''

"Shit Addison." He looked around and suddenly the front door looked tempting.

''I love you Derek, I'm carrying your baby.'' She saw him looking at the door. ''I told you, you didn't, I told you.''

He shook his head powerfully, looking at the walls now. "I'm sorry."

''It wasn't my intention, I pulled back.''

He took a step towards her, still a bit confused look on his face mixed with disappointment and angriness. She just looked at him sadly. He placed his lips on hers, wanting her to his again, ONLY his. She slowly closed her eyes. His lips adored hers as his heart ached, needing her closeness and warmness. She moved her arms around his torso. His arms draped around her waist and he brought her closer. She softly and tenderly kissed him. Sparks, love, she all felt it in his kiss. After a moment he pulled back from the kiss in need of oxygen, he had been so lost in her that he had forgot to breathe. As they pulled back she looked into his eyes. He slowly let his eyes open, meeting hers. She looked at him. He placed another light kiss on her lips. "Don't EVER do it again."

''I love you Derek, you, no one else.''

"I love you too." He replied, his voice soft like it always was when he said those words. She looked into his eyes. He placed a kiss on her nose and pulled her into his arms tighter. She hugged him closely. He rested his head on hers and brushed her back. Addison closed her eyes.

"What are we going to do now?" He asked against her hair, he was partly wishing that she wouldn't have told.

''What do you mean?''

"I don't know, are we going to talk about this or something?"

''Well what do you want to say then?''

"Nothing, I don't know what I think we should do, that's why I'm asking."

''Okay, I don't know then.''

"Yeah..." Derek shook his head.

''Are the twins asleep?''

"Yeah, Caleb is watching them.

''Oh...'' She was surprised.

"Yeah... did you bring Justin to me?" He asked, trying to get away from the subject.

''Yeah he was tired and wanted to sleep in the big bed.''

"The big bed?" Derek raised his eyebrows just like Addison had before.

''Yeah, ours. And I didn't want him to sleep alone, he never sleeps alone.''

"Ooh okay." Derek nodded and placed a little kiss on her forehead.

''Where are they now?''

"In the big bed."

''Ahh.''

"Yeah, they're doing good with him."

''Good, that's good.'' She nodded. ''You did unpack my underwear right??''

"Hmhmmm." He couldn't help but grin.

''Ahh good.''

He pecked her lips quickly. "So what are we gonna do now? The kids are still asleep."

''Hmm I don't know, any ideas?''

"Multiple but it's your parents' house and we don't have a room for those ideas. You have any other ideas?" He asked with a smile.

''I really wouldn't know, maybe just relax for a bit.''

"Yeah that'd be nice." He admitted.

''In the living room?''

"Sure." He held out his hand for her slowly. She took it gladly and they made their way into the living room. Addison saw her mother and looked away, sitting down on the couch. Derek sat down right next to her and tried to ignore the woman sitting on the armchair. Addison looked at her hands. Derek coughed a bit. Addison cleared her throat, playing with his arm. Maria just looked at the two of them with ice cold stare. Derek took Addison's hand in his, suddenly feeling very small and he just wished he'd disappear. That's what Maria did to him. She ran her fingers over his tattoo, trying to block out her mother's look. He smiled a little as he remembered the tattoo, he looked at it for a moment before his gaze turned back to Addison. She looked up at him. He placed a light kiss on her lips, making Maria snort at them. Addison simply ignored her and gave him another kiss. This time Maria rolled her eyes and Derek pecked her lips back tenderly.

''I love you.'' She whispered.

"I love you too." He replied in a whisper and softly brushed her hand with his. "So do you still want to go shopping today?"

''Not really...''

"Yeah me neither, maybe we could do that some other day."

''Yeah.'' She nodded, resting her head against his chest.

"Okay that's good." He draped his arms around her tightly while Maria just watched them. She snuggled against him.

"Get a room." Her mother commented rudely.

''Excuse me?''

"God this is my house, could you do your thing somewhere else?"

''My thing?''

"Yes so please, off you go."

"With all the respect Mrs. Montgomery, that is just not fair. We're not doing anything wrong here." Derek spoke with a strong voice.

''I gave my husband a kiss, a kiss, no making out, it was a simple peck on the lips.''

Maria shrugged at them. "God knows what you two could have done."

"Excuse me Mrs. Montgomery but I don't think I'm following you right here. I'm not allowed to kiss my wife that I love?" Derek was starting to get annoyed.

''You can do that when you're alone.'' She pursed her lips together.

"Are you telling me you have never ever kissed Caleb in front of people?" Derek raised his eyebrows.

''No, we do that in our own time.''

"That's not my thought about ideal marriage really." Derek said and looked straight into her eyes.

''Yeah well, it's not like you know anything about that.''

"Excuse me?" Derek felt anger rushing through his veins.

''Well my daughter burst out in tears earlier saying that you were getting a divorce.''

"What?!" Derek's voice rose and he turned to look at Addison, and then at Maria. Addison just looked down.

"Wait a second. First of all, we're not getting a divorce. Second of all, what the hell Addison?" He looked at her.

''What?'' She looked at him hurt.

"How can you even think something like that?? I love you and you know it, I've been trying my best to show that to you 24 hours a day and still you think I'm going to divorce you??"

''I was talking about before!''

"Well then why were you crying?"

''Nothing.'' She cried.

Derek held her a bit tighter and placed a kiss on her forehead. She pushed him away. Derek sighed and threw Maria a look. "We should talk Addison, somewhere private." He said.

''No.'' She got up.

"Addison please." He shook his head and did the same. She just gave him a look and walked into the kitchen, making Maria snigger. Derek sighed rather loudly and looked at the woman sitting on the chair, dragon lady indeed. Not only her face but also her heart. She was a cold unemotional person. "I can't see why Caleb is still with you." He said and walked off and into the kitchen. Addison was sitting at the kitchen table. Derek silently sat down on a chair next to hers. She was looking at the table. He turned his head so that he was looking at her. "What was that about?"

''What?''

"That argument, why were even fighting?" He asked, still looking at her.

''I don't know.''

"Me neither, Addison?"

''What?''

"Why were you crying earlier?" He asked with a softer tone.

''My mom.''

"Because of your mother?"

''Yes.''

"You shouldn't listen to her really, she's not worth it."

''She's my mom.''

"Still, you know she isn't really acting like one to be honest. She's always against you and pressuring you, telling you stuff that isn't true."

Addison simply shrugged at this.

"What?" He asked, still looking at her.

''I didn't say anything.''

"You shrugged, meaning you weren't sure or you disagreed but weren't going to respond. Which is it?"

''I don't know.''

"Okay then, are we ever going to talk about this? Because I think we have a problem if you won't be able to talk to me about this stuff."

''Why?''

"Because we're supposed to be able to talk to each other about anything and right now you're giving me the vibe that you can't."

''I just...we went here to not have to talk about this.''

"I know, I'm sorry but I think we still have to talk at some point, about everything that hurts us or has hurt us." He gave a little sigh.

''I just don't see the point in it anymore, every time we talk it solves absolutely nothing.''

"Every time we don't talk it makes me feel blue and weak. Like you were pulling away from me."

''I'm not.''

"Well it makes me feel like that, like you were hiding something."

''Like what?''

"I don't know really, something."

''I don't have any secrets for you.'' Lie.

"You do, I can sense it, anyone can sense it really."

''Then what am I hiding?''

"That's the point Addison, you won't tell me."

''No I won't because there is nothing to tell.''

"Oh that's just a bad lie Addison, I don't know anything about you really. I don't know about your past or what you think about our marriage. That's not how I want us to be."

''What's that supposed to mean??''

"I want us to be able to talk to each other."

''We're talking right now.''

"We're arguing about whether we should talk or not."

''My past, it's not what you'll want to know Derek.''

"I want to get to know you better." He replied.

''You're my husband, you know more of me than anyone else.''

"Still I don't know about your past. It's like I only know about our life in New York. I want to get to know everything about you."

''Why?''

"Because you're my wife and I love you."

''I don't want to talk about it.''

"I want to get to know everything about you and you're making it hard for me."

''I know.''

"Why don't you want to talk about it?"

''I-- I just don't. I don't want all those bad memories to come back.''

"What happened Addison?" He asked and placed his hand over hers that was on the table.

''I don't want to talk about it.''

"You know you could."

''I know, but I really don't want to.''

"I love you, don't ever doubt that okay?" He took her hand in his.

''I don't, and same for you. I love you.''

He made a smile and then turned to look at their hands, their fingers linked together. She looked into his eyes. After a few moments he returned his gaze to her. She stroked his cheek softly. ''We'll get through this.''

"I know, we will, we're Addison and Derek, Derek and Addison." He placed his hand over hers softly and took it in his, giving it a light kiss, on her knuckles and then on her ring.

''We are.'' She gave him a smile.

"Kiss me?" He flashed her a smile back.

''Of course.'' She said softly and leaned in. He slowly tilted his head to the side a bit and placed his lips over hers tenderly. She kissed him softly. He tasted the sweetness of her lips, after all these years he still hadn't figured out why her lips tasted like this. After a few seconds she pulled back. ''No one can kiss me like that.'' She whispered at him. "Like what?" A smile played on his lips, he knew exactly what she meant, no one's lips tasted as sweet as hers, no one's were as soft as hers, no one could make him feel so good with one single kiss.

''Like this.'' She smiled at him.

"Like this." He repeated what she had said and placed another light kiss on her lips. "Hmm I think I know what you mean."

''You do?''

"Yeah, I do." He smiled at her.

''Shall we check on the kids?''

"Probably we should." He gave a small sigh, just few more moments alone with Addison would have been great.

''Mhm.'' She got up. Derek did the same and linked his arm around her waist. They went upstairs. As they walked towards the room he put his hand into her back pocket with an innocent look on his face. She gave him a playful smile.

He made her a smile, a half-grin to be exact. He let his hand stay where it was. She pushed the door to her room open. Caleb was lying on the bed as the almost three-year old twins talked to him about random things, about kangaroos and pasta, about everything that popped into their minds. He couldn't even realise what they were saying since they both talked at the same time. Addison smiled as she watched them. Caleb soon spotted them and mouthed 'help' with his lips before smiling widely. She chuckled and walked towards the bed. ''Look who's awake.''

"Mommy!" Hailey giggled as she looked at the people that stepped into the room.

"Daddy!" Justin held out his arms as Derek reached the bed.

''Hey sweethearts.'' Addison placed a kiss on Hailey's forehead. Hailey grinned widely and draped her arms around Addison's neck. Derek gave Justin's hand a quick kiss before picking him up.

''Did you sleep well baby?'' She asked her daughter as she picked her up.

"Yes!" She replied. "It was funny! I went to sleep with daddy and woke up with an old man!"

''Hailey!''

Caleb just laughed and so did Derek, Hailey looked confused. "Whaaaat?" She asked.

''You can't tell someone he or she is old.''

"Why not? You told daddy he was an old man and had grey hair." Hailey said simply, making Derek pout. He was NOT old.

''Well that's different.''

"How?" Hailey rolled her eyes. "It's soooooooo not different."

''It is honey.''

"Why is itttt?" Hailey pouted, wanting to know.

''Because daddy is married to me.''

"Sooo? Won't daddy get angry with you?"

"Oh he does." Derek rolled his eyes jokingly.

''No he won't.'' Addison chuckled.

Caleb smiled at the family in front of him. Derek gave Addison a look. "He might get his feelings hurt because he is NOT old and DOESN'T have grey."

''Uhuh sureeee denial.''

"I'm verrrrrrrrrry angry with you Addie." Derek rolled his eyes at her.

''Right.''

He took few steps and placed a kiss on her cheek. "If I'm old then you're old too."

''I don't look old like you.'' She teased.

"Oh you love older men." Derek chuckled and shook his head.

''I do not!''

Derek grinned and placed a kiss on her lips. "You love this old man, don't you?" He pressed another one on her cheek.

''Shut up.'' She laughed, batting him away. He grinned at her, placing one last kiss on her shoulder. "You can't deny it."

''Derek.'' She whined, not wanting him to show that much affection in front of her father. He rolled his eyes. "Fine, fine, fine..."

"Mommyyyyy!" Justin broke the silence in a second or two. "Grandpa said we could get pasta some time this week!"

''Yeah, sometime.'' She smiled, ruffling his hair. Justin grinned. "Pastaaaaa."

"Riverrrrrrr." Hailey continued with a smirk on her face.

''Crazy kids. Hey dad?''

Caleb raised his eyebrows a bit, wide smile on his face. "Yes?"

''Have you seen Derek's tattoo yet?''

"Tattoo?" Caleb was a bit surprised.

''Mhm.''

"Apparently I haven't." Caleb smiled as Derek placed Justin on the bed.

''Hmm show.''

Derek slowly revealed the tattoo, sitting onto the bed as well.

''Addison.'' He read out loud as he looked at it.

"Yeah, it looks good, doesn't it?" Derek asked looking at it as well, a smile on his face.

''Yeah, it's really nice.'' He meant it.

Derek was still smiling. "It's pretty new, got it a few weeks back."

''Wow, did you get it on your own or did Addibug ask you to?''

"Well your little girl asked for it." After sex.

''Ahh.'' Caleb smiled.

"Yeah well I of course said yes, and I think it turned out very well." He couldn't take his eyes off the tattoo of his.

''Yeah I agree.''

Derek nodded his head. "It was worth the pain."

''Yeah I know how it feels.''

"Yeah?" Derek raised his eyebrows.

''Hmhmm got a few on my arms but it's been a while ago since the last.''

"Yeah? I've never noticed them." They really hadn't spent that much time together and Caleb always wore a long sleeved shirt when they met.

''Yeah well, Maria isn't too happy with them.''

"Really?" Derek wasn't even surprised. "I bet they're not that bad. She just..." Is a bitch? "...doesn't understand tattoos."

''Yeah.'' He said and shrugged.

"Can I see them?" He asked.

''Sure.'' He rolled his sleeves up.

"They look great." Derek had to admit that. "I don't understand why she doesn't like them."

''She just has something against tattoos I guess, but hey, it's not like you can take them away anymore.''

"Yeah true." Derek shrugged and tilted his head a bit, still looking at the tattoos on his arms.

''So, yeah.''

"Well to me they look great." Derek smiled and then turned to look at Addison.

''Hmm?'' Addison looked at him.

"Nothing." He gave her another smile.

''Okay.'' She gave him one back.

"I'm thirsty." Justin complained and got up, standing on the bed.

''Daddy will get you something okay?''

"Sure, what would you want Justin?" He asked as he got up from the bed he was still on.

''Milk!''

"Okay, would you like to come to the kitchen with me?" He asked, looking at Addison as asking for a permission.

''Okay!'' He said and Addison nodded.

"Hails are you thirsty too?" Derek looked at his daughter, raising his eyebrows a little bit. She nodded her little head.

"Go with me and Jussie then." Derek smiled and Justin got off the bed, running to the door.

"Come on already!" The energetic little boy grinned, making his grandfather laugh. The two kids ran after their father.


	30. Daddy, daddy, daddy

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 30 – Daddy, daddy, daddy_

"So..." Caleb gave his daughter a smile as he watched the three go.

''Yeah...'' Addison gave her father a small smile back.

"The kids are great." He didn't know what to say.

''They are.'' She agreed, not knowing what to say either.

"Yeah, shame we didn't get to know them earlier..."

''We?''

"Me and your mother."

''My mother doesn't know them.'' And neither does she know me.

"Yeah... well that's who she is. She doesn't bond with people that easily."

''She doesn't bond with them at all.''

"It's been one day Addison."

''I wasn't just talking about my children.''

"What do you mean?" He asked with a little sigh.

''She doesn't bond with anyone.''

"You really think so?"

''Obviously.''

He gave a little sigh and shook his head. "Well sometimes."

''Sometimes?'' Addison raised her eyebrow.

"Sometimes she might be a little rude but I wouldn't say that she doesn't bond..."

She snorted at this.

"Addison, she's your mother and she does have friends."

''Friends she hates.''

"What do you mean? She does not."

''Yes she does, all they do is gossip about people and even about each other, her favourite hobby is plastic surgery.''

"Don't talk about your own mother like that! She is not that horrible."

''I'm not saying anything that isn't true, am I?''

"You cannot talk about her like that Addison, no way."

''Why not?''

"Because she's your mother and that's just not right."

''What she says to me are things a mother can't say to her daughter either.''

"She doesn't mean them. She doesn't, she's just..."

''Just what?''

"She just doesn't always think."

''What's that supposed to mean?''

"Sometimes she just says things without any further thinking."

''Well she means these things.''

"She does not."

''All my life she has said that she thinks I'm fat, ugly and that Derek should divorce me. She does mean it.''

"Well that's not how other people see it, you're not fat or ugly. Derek shouldn't divorce you and he won't."

''Well that's what she says.''

"She can say whatever she wants but those things are not true." Caleb walked closer to his all-grown-up daughter, who still was his little girl and would always be. She didn't look up. Caleb slowly wrapped his arms around her. She sighed loudly. He gave a little kiss on her forehead and then just hugged her. She didn't move.

"Don't mind her comments okay?" He mumbled against her red hair.

''She's my mother.''

"Still." He placed a small kiss on her lips. She simply looked at her father. He placed his hands on her cheeks. "I'm sorry for her. She doesn't mean it really."

''She does and that's your fault as well.''

"How is that my fault?"

''You let her get all that plastic surgery. When I told Derek I wanted a breast augmentation he forbid me to do it and got angry.''

"I didn't know what to do with her, she's a strong woman who surely always gets her will. I couldn't do anything to her."

''Right.'' She scoffed.

"Don't you dare to blame this on me."

''Did I say I do?''

"'That's your fault as well' sounds like you are."

''I'm allowed to have my own opinion.''

"Oh yes you are, that's my point, don't listen to your mother. It might be partly my fault what happened to her. I didn't say no when she said she was going to have a surgery on her nose and then it was her breast, her stomach. It might be my fault but I am not the one to blame about her behaviour."

''If you say so.''

He gave a little sigh.

''I should thank you though.''

"For what?" He asked, looking into her eyes.

''For teaching me to never be in a marriage like that.''

"Like what?" He was afraid of her answer.

''Like yours and mom's marriage.''

He sighed loudly and shook his head at her. "Sometimes you love the other person so much that it sometimes hurts, and you gets scars, your whole body is aching but at the end of the day you want nothing more than just fall asleep next to her."

''I left to America because of her.''

"Really?" His eyebrows raised, he had had his doubts but he had never heard the actual reason.

''Really.''

"I didn't know that Addison."

''Well you do now.''

"Yeah.." He wished he didn't. "You left because she told you all that stuff?"

''Yeah, I did.''

"I'm sorry Addison, I should have spoken to her about you, and the way she was behaving at the time."

Addison didn't respond.

"I'm sorry okay?" He repeated.

''Sorry for what?''

"For not doing anything about it."

''Don't be.''

"I am, I should. I'm her husband, I could have put an end to it."

She shrugged at his answer. ''Would you even have cared?''

"You're my daughter Addison, of course I would have. You could have told me."

''Oh so you're trying to say that you didn't realize it hurt me what she said??''

"No I'm not saying that, I know it hurt, I just didn't know the amount of the things she said, and when I asked her about it. She said you had done something, which made it a bit more understandable then. I'm not saying I didn't know."

''Oh so if I did do something wrong I'd be okay for her to tell me we should go a 'special' doctor because I was obese?''

"Did she say that to you??" His eyes widened a bit and his hand moved closer to his mouth before he gently rubbed his cheek.

''When I was 10 I had this crush on some popular boy from my school and she told me I'd have no chance with him because I didn't even had boobs. I was 10!!''

Caleb began rubbing his forehead, sighing, if only he had known. "I'm sorry Addison."

''Don't be.''

"I still will be, it's partly my fault." She had been right after all.

''It already happened.''

"Yeah, it shouldn't have. I should have noticed."

''But you didn't.''

"I didn't, I wasn't around as much as I wanted." He sighed.

''Yeah.'' She hugged her arms around herself.

"But Addison, you have one thing to be proud of... and that's you and your life, you turned out amazing though your mother was constantly crushing you, you got married, you had children. You're in love."

''It's not that fantastic as you're making it sound.''

"It's not? Why's that?"

''It's hard. Sometimes I even wonder if it's all worth it.''

He sighed. "I know the feeling but at the end of the day it's worth it, right?"

''I don't know, really.''

"Are you serious?"

''Yes.'' She said guiltily.

"Addison... do you want to talk about it?" He hugged her.

''I don't know...''

"You could if you wanted to, I'm here to listen okay?"

''I know I just...I don't know how to.''

"You don't? You could tell me about your life, tell me what bothers you, I could maybe help you, give you some advices."

''Really?''

"I hope so."

''I just don't think you'll understand...''

"Honey, I want to understand." He sat on the edge of the bed. She didn't know what to say or to do. ''We might not be having a third child.''

"What?" His eyes widened and his eyebrows raised. "Why?"

''We don't know if he or she still... if it's...'' She sighed, she didn't want to say it.

"Is what?" Her father pulled her to sit next to him, hugging her close to him since she obviously having hard time.

''I--I can't even say it.'' She bit on the insides of her cheeks.

"What makes you think that? Because the morning sickness is missing..?" He tried hard not to let the shock be evident in his voice.

''Yeah and just... stuff.''

"Addison I'm so sorry." Caleb sighed loudly.

''It's not your fault.''

"I'm still sorry this is happening to you. You don't deserve this to happen. Have you been to the doctor..?"

''I have.'' She nodded.

"What did the doctor say?"

''That they didn't know.''

"Aww honey." He planted a kiss on the top of her head. "Maybe you should go to another doctor about this."

She nodded. ''I'm scared.''

"You have the right to be scared, I just hope you're worried over nothing, maybe it's alright. Maybe there's nothing wrong, maybe she or he is a bit more calm one."

''What if it isn't? What if it's not alright dad?''

"Then... then you'll be miserable for a while, you'll be broken down but you'll get through it at some point. I'm going to be there for you."

''I won't get over this, I can't.'' Tears were already floating in her eyes.

"It won't happen..." He tried to stay strong.

''How can you say that?''

"I'm being hopeful here, maybe you're just one of those lucky women who don't get nauseas." He felt tears stinging the back of his eyes.

''I don't want to lose my baby.'' She burst out in tears.

"You won't." He bit on his lip so that he could keep the tears from falling as he brushed the hot tears away from her face, only to realise new ones were falling.

''But what if I will??''

"I don't know, we'll get through it, both of us. I'm going to help you with everything." He said, kissing the top of her head.

''How will you if you're here?'' She was still crying.

"I promise I'll fly to you if that happens. I love you muffin." The tears started rolling down his face no matter how hard he tried to hold them back.

''You never visit.'' Addison sobbed.

"I'm sorry, I promise I will, Addison." He mumbled through the tears that were blurring his vision. She nodded, not being able to say anything.

"Shhh... just calm down, it's gonna be alright..."

''I'm. so. scared.''

"Pumpkin you can be scared but don't let it rule your life."

She nodded again. He placed few kisses on her forehead and softly dried away the tears. She cuddled close against him. He hugged her even closer, holding her tighter he ever had. She buried her head in his neck.

"Shhh babybug, it's alright." He whispered softly as the tears on his cheeks dried.

''I need someone.''

"Someone?" He asked. She nodded.

"Who is this someone?" He asked again, in the same gentle tone. She shrugged, sniffing.

"What does this someone need to do?"

She shrugged again.

"Could I be that someone?"

''I don't know...''

"Who would you want to be that someone?" He started brushing her hair.

''I don't know...'' She said again. ''I don't have friends.''

"Why don't you? Everyone has friends."

''I don't...''

"Not anyone? How come?" He hugged her again.

''Well some... but they don't understand, they're old friends and I never see them.''

"I'm sorry about that too... maybe they will?"

''Will what?''

"Maybe they will understand." He said gently.

''They're not married, they don't have kids. Their priorities are partying and having fun and mine are not, I just can't do those things.''

Caleb sighed. "Well that's a problem." He had to admit it.

''Yeah so... I simply can't expect them to understand.''

"Yeah true, don't you have anyone to talk to really?"

''Well Derek's mom.''

"Theresa? Right?" He raised his eyebrows a bit. "It's easy to talk to her?"

''Yeah, she's a sweetheart.''

"That's nice, and she has kids, she should understand."

''Yeah but it's different.''

"Yeah, she's his mother so it can't be like a friendship. It can but can't really."

''Yeah.'' Addison nodded.

"Have you talked to Derek about it?"

''About what?''

"About everything?"

''I don't know what you mean with everything.''

"That you want someone to talk to, about the baby, about everything."

''I don't know....I mean, we talk a lot but usually I'm the one who doesn't want to.''

"Why don't you?" He asked softly, tilting his head to the side just the slightest bit.

''I don't know.''

"Does he say something specific when you talk? Does he judge? Is he too kind?" He didn't know what the problem was about, he was just trying to help.

''No he is but... it's different, because I know there are just some things, maybe things that happen in our marriage, that I need to talk to someone else about it.''

"Yeah? Well that's understandable." He brushed her hair and took her hand in his, placing a soft kiss on her knuckles. Addison looked at her father.

"I still think you should talk to him at least about the baby, and then you could find someone else you could talk to if you need to." He spoke in the same gentle tone.

''Yeah.'' She sighed. ''Maybe you're right.''

"I might be right sometimes." He gave her a little smile.

''Yeah...'' She gave him a small smile back.

"Yeah well let's try to enjoy this day anyway. Okay?" He said and ran a hand through his hair. She nodded.

"Do you want to go downstairs?"

''Okay.''

"Do you want to do anything special today?" He asked his daughter as they walked out of the room.

''I really don't know...''

"Or just take it easy for today?"

''Yeah, I guess, the kids are asleep already so...''

"Yeah, true. Do you want to watch a movie with your old daddy or something?"

''I don't mind really.''

"Okay. Well we could do that."

''Yeah...''

"Unless you just want to go straight to bed, it's been a tiring day for you."

''I really don't mind dad.''

"Well it's your choice." He threw her a smile and started walking down the stairs.

She followed him. Together they walked into the living room.

''Hey.'' She gave her husband a smile.

"Hi Addie." He smiled back at her and then nodded at Caleb, making another smile for him. She went to sit next him, close to him. As she sat down his arm instantly wrapped around her, demanding her a bit closer to him. Caleb sat down on the other couch. She cuddled close again him. He placed a tender kiss on the top of her head and held her close. Caleb gave the couple a smile and took the magazine from the table, checking if there was anything on the TV. A sigh left her lips and she closed her eyes, resting her head against his shoulder.

"You alright?" He asked quietly from her, gently rubbing her side. She nodded. "Okay." He didn't want to make a scene right now. She snuggled close to him.

"You tired?" He asked another question and planted a little kiss on her red curly hair.

''A little.''

"Me too, it was a long flight." He looked at Caleb who turned on the TV.

''If you want to sleep you know you can right?''

"Yeah but I can wait, I don't want to sleep alone." He mumbled.

''Well you can.''

"You know I sleep better with you babe." He replied like it was obvious.

''Yeah.'' This made her smile.

"So I'm going to wait until we can go to bed together, I can put my arms around you and give you a goodnight kiss and listen to you breathe." He placed a soft little kiss on her lips. Addison smiled and gave him a kiss back. Derek smiled at her once more and then looked at the screen as the movie started. "What are we watching?" He asked Caleb.

"Mr. and Mrs. Smith."

Addison closed her eyes and hugged Derek close to her. He silently let few more kisses hit her head as he focused on the movie. Addison started to drift off to sleep. Few minutes later she was fast asleep against his strong chest, a smile decorated his lips as he looked at the sleeping woman in his arms, at the moment she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Caleb glanced at them, a smile tugging on his face. Although Addison had always been his little girl, he had to share her now but he wouldn't want to share her with anyone else but Derek Shepherd. "Good night." He whispered silently, he just had to say it out loud. After a moment or two he turned to look at Caleb, their gazes locking. Caleb gave his son in law a smile.

Derek smiled back at him and nodded, keeping Addison close to him. In her sleep she moved closer to him. Another smile made it's way on his face, he sure appreciated and enjoyed every sign of affection she showed him. Her face was nuzzled in his chest. He wanted her to be like this forever, he wanted to find some glue and glue her against him. Caleb smiled at the two. Derek lifted his gaze from her and focused on the screen.

''So... what is it like to live in New York?''

"Good, good. And well New York is... it's big and busy. It's basically just a normal city, just more people and... bigger." He said and looked at his father in law. "Australia seems nice."

''It is. Do you enjoy living in New York?''

"Yeah well I've never lived anywhere else so it's the only home I know so yeah I love New York."

He nodded. ''What does my Addie think about New York?''

"Well... Australia is her home but I don't know, I guess she likes it in New York. We don't really talk about it."

''Why not?''

"I don't know, she doesn't want to talk about it and I don't want to be the one pressuring her into talking."

''Oh...''

"I guess you can take a girl out of Australia but never Australia out of the girl." He said and gave him a smile. "But I love my Aussie girl, she's perfect." He placed a kiss on his wife's hair.

''She is.'' Caleb couldn't agree more. His daughter was perfect. Derek brushed Addison's hair. "What do you think about the kids? You hadn't seen them in a while."

''They're amazing.''

"Yeah, and smart." He smiled widely.

''They are, they're lovely.''

"Yeah. I love them so much." Derek couldn't stop smiling.

''Yeah, I can really tell.''

"Yeah." He wasn't ashamed of it, he loved his kids so much, end of story. "What about you? How are you?"

''I'm good, enjoying my life.''

"Yeah? That's great. Work's okay?"

''Yeah, retiring soon actually.''

"Wow, really?" His eyebrows raised high.

''Yep.'' He smiled widely.

"That's amazing, you really don't look that old though." Derek let out a laugh. Caleb laughed a little.

"Well it's true, man can't you take a compliment?" Derek grinned and linked his fingers with Addison's.

''Nope.''

Derek shook his head amused and then smiled again. "So the work is going great, that's good. What about you and Maria?" He tried not to sound like he hated her when he said her name.

''We're good...''

"That's good..." He nodded.

''Yep.''

"So nothing else worth mentioning other than your job?"

''Not really, I'm a boring person.'' He joked. Derek laughed softly. "I've noticed." He teased a bit.

''Shush you New Yorker.''

Derek laughed at his comment and grinned. "Damn proud to be one."

''That's good, always be proud of your country.''

Derek's smile widened, this was why he liked Caleb. He was cool but wise. "Yeah, I'll keep that in mind."

''Good, good.''

Derek moved slightly on the couch so that Addison's head was positioned on his shoulder, her forehead against his neck, feeling her even breathing against his skin. Her arms were wrapped around him loosely.

"I love you." He whispered though she couldn't hear him, a light kiss hit the top of her head. She was still sleeping.

''You really love her don't you?'' Caleb asked, though it was obvious. Derek turned to look at Caleb slowly. "I do, just when I think it's not possible to love her any more, it turns out I'm wrong. I'm madly in love with her, I love your daughter more than my own life. I'd do anything for her. I'd even carry her purse while shopping with her if she asked." He smiled. Caleb smiled at him and nodded thoughtfully.

"Yes, so my point was, I love her really, as in saying I love you million times a day and holding her hand in public just so that everyone would know she's mine."

''Sounds like you two are still crazy in love.''

"Yeah we are but we have our ups and downs." He brushed her hair.

''Every couple does.''

"Yeah but you just have to get through them."

''Exactly.''

"Yeah... but I'm still madly in love with her, deeply, she's the one you know?" Derek looked at the redhead sleeping against him.

''The love of your life.''

"Yeah, exactly." His smile widened even more.

''And you're hers?''

"Yeah I think so, that's the only reason someone would love a nutcase like me." He threw Caleb a playful smile. Caleb chuckled at him. "But seriously talking, yeah she has said that once or twice, once after our first date after the almost-divorce. In the ba..." He realised that he shouldn't continue anymore, he really didn't want to tell him that they have bath's together.

''In the?''

"In theee..." He decided to go with the truth. "Bath."

''Bath?''

"Uhm yeah."

''You do that a lot together?''

"Sometimes." A smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

''Okay.'' This wasn't something he wanted to think about.

"Sorry for those bad images in your head." Derek rolled his eyes at him. "Your fault, you asked."

''Shut up.''

"Will not." He let out a small laugh and placed a kiss on top of Addison's head. "But anyway, so she has said it to me."

''That's good.''

"Yeah I know."

''Mhm.''

"Yeah well anyway." Derek shifted on the couch so that her head was on his chest again and he could easily place a kiss on her hair. "Maybe I should take the Sleeping Beauty to the bed."

''You gonna wake here?''

"I don't know yet, I could be able to carry her but cause of the baby, I don't know if that's good for it. But she looks too cute when she sleeps." He brushed a stray of hair off her face.

''You can always let her sleep here.''

"Then I would sleep here too." Was his reply, simple. Where Addison slept, he slept there too.

''What why?''

"I can't really sleep without her, it's crazy but I sleep better when I'm with her."

''Really?''

"Yeah, something about her just makes me feel safe, calm and... home."

Caleb nodded and smiled.

"Can I sleep here with her?" Derek smiled as well.

''Here? On the couch?''

"Yeah, here, on the couch, I'm not going to wake her up."

''I'd just wake her up.''

"Yeah well I probably should, but she looks too cute." He let out a little sigh before starting to brush her cheek gently, whispering into her ear. "Addie?"

Addison didn't respond to him. A smile tugged at his lips as he tried again, a bit louder this time. "Addie?"

She stirred a little.

"Honey?" His smile got broader and he placed a kiss on her forehead and then one on her nose.

''Hmmm?'' Her eyes fluttered open.

"We should go to bed now." He spoke softly and pressed a light kiss on her lips.

''For how long was I out?'' Addison asked groggily.

"Quite some while." He brushed her hair.

''Oh.'' She looked at him, stroking his cheek.

"We should go to sleep now, it's pretty late already." He told her and leaned his forehead against hers.

''What time is it?''

"Around 10PM." He played with the curly ends of her hair.

''Seriously.'' She leaned up into a sitting position. ''Oh dad, hi.''

"Hey sleepyhead." He smiled at her, amused. She gave him a sheepish smile. Derek got up from the couch slowly and placed one more kiss on Addison's forehead. "Come on Sleeping Beauty, let's go get some sleep now."

She took her husband's hand and held it in hers loosely.

"Night Caleb." Derek gave him one more sleepy smile.

''Goodnight daddy.'' Addison said tiredly and gave her dad a kiss on his cheek.

''Night you two.''

They walked out of the room and up the stairs, their hands still together, side by side. "Have I ever told you that you look beautiful when you sleep?" He asked yawning. She looked at him sleepily, a smile on her face. ''Thank you.''

"Welcome, anytime really." He was just as tired as her and they managed to drag themselves into the bedroom.

''I'll have to wake the kids.''

"Hmm I'll go to bed while you... do that." He yawned and lay down on the bed which Hailey and Justin were already sleeping on. She nodded, starting to wake up the kids.

"Hmm?" Hailey who wasn't a heavy sleeper began to wake up.

''You're going to bed honey.''

"Oh..." She just held out her arms, closing her eyes again. Addison picked her up carefully, hugging her daughter protectively against her as she walked towards the room for the twins.

"Good night." Hailey whispered before she fell asleep in her mother's arms.

''Night baby girl.'' Addison whispered against the little girl's head.

Few moments later the little girl was tucked in her bed safely. Addison placed a kiss on her head as she went to get the girl's twin brother. He was still asleep, on his back, taking all the possible space he could. She smiled at him, carefully picking him up. Automatically his arms wrapped around her neck and he buried his head into her shoulder. She went into the room and repeated the same process as she had done with Hailey. New diaper, change into pyjamas and tucking into bed safely under the blankets. He once again demanded his space, his other hand taking off the blanket a little bit, his head turned to the other side. Addison laid the two close to each other, the soft blankets closely tucked over them. Justin's arm draped around Hailey and he lied on his side, sighing in his sleep. Hailey stayed in the position she was in, curled up in a tight ball, facing Justin. She kissed both of them again, smiling tiredly at them as she left the room soundlessly.

In their room, Derek had managed to pull off his shirt, too tired to do anything else just yet. He had his eyes closed and his hands on his stomach.

''What are you doing?''

"Getting into my pyjamas." He mumbled with a smile on his face. "Isn't that obvious?"

''Hmm not really.'' She closed the door and took off her shirt.

"I wonder why, I'm being totally active." He stretched a bit before he sat up, opening his eyes.

''Hmhmm.'' She took off her skirt next. He tilted his head to the side a bit as he looked at her, slowly getting up. She then undid herself from her bra and thong and opened the drawer. His smile got only brighter and he walked a bit closer, placing a kiss on her neck as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "You look great."

''Hmm thanks.''

He smiled at her and pressed a kiss on her shoulder. "Welcome."

''You too by the way.'' She pulled on a pair of panties.

"Hmm I know." He reached for his pyjamas. "I always do."

''Cocky.'' She pulled on a wide shirt over that.

"You love me like that." He mumbled simply and pushed the jeans off his hips.

''Sometimes.'' She rummaged through her suitcase.

"Hmhmm." He gave a tired grin and changed into his pyjamas. She started to wipe off her makeup.

"How do you have the energy to do that?" Derek asked as he crawled into the bed.

''Do what?''

"Put on makeup and then take it off?" He went to the right side of the bed.

''Takes something if you don't wanna look bad and Derek, go brush your teeth before bed.''

"But I'm tired." He whined, making a face as he got up. "And you don't look bad without makeup."

She walked into the bathroom. He followed her after taking his toothbrush from his bag. She washed her face and started brushing her teeth. He walked up behind her and quickly washed the toothbrush before he applied some toothpaste and he began brushing his teeth, one arm around her stomach by now. She smiled as she looked at them in the mirror, both brushing their teeth. He smiled a bit as well, his hand resting on her stomach gently as he carried on brushing his teeth.

After about two minutes she spit into the washbowl and rinsed her mouth with water. He placed a kiss on her cheek before he repeated what she had just done, still keeping his other hand exactly where it was.

''Hmm done. You have to shave in the morning though.''

"What? Still don't like the stubble?" He rolled his eyes and wrapped his other arms around her as well.

''No it scratches.''

"Well you scratch my back with your nails, I think we're pretty much even." He threw her a grin before pecking her cheek. "Shaving it tomorrow."

''I do not!''

"Hmhmm." Derek smiled at the reaction. "You do but it's okay really honey."

''I do not scratch your back with my nails.''

"Hmhmm you do sometimes." He gave a kiss on her neck.

''I don't.''

"You do, you can't really control it though." He mumbled softly.

''Shut up.''

"I am." He placed another kiss on her neck, brushing her stomach. She closed her eyes.

"I love you." He spoke lovingly.

''I love you too.'' She said back.

"Hmm we should go to bed now." He moved towards the door with her.

''Hmhmm.'' They got into bed. He moved his arms around her stomach tightly. She snuggled against him under the blankets.

"You're warm." He commented, pulling her even closer.

''Keep those cold feet away from me.''

"I can't keep my cold feet away from your sexy warm body." He mumbled.

''Der.'' She whined.

"Oh come on, Addie. I'm cold, I might freeze, will that be funny then? Having an ice cube-husband?"

''Get an extra blanket.''

"You're my extra blanket." He kept her close to him.

''I swear to god if you freeze me with those paws I'm kicking you outta my bed.''

"You wouldn't, you love me too much." He pecked her lips.

''Shut up.'' She pecked his back.

"You're such a mean wife you know that?" He smiled at her. "First you're going to kick me out of the bed and then you tell me to shut up. Now is that right?" He sighed dramatically.

''No, I'd sue me if I were you.''

"I should sue you." He pecked her lips again, more tenderly this time.

''Still, no cold feet against me.''

"Fine then I won't be against you at all." He stuck out his tongue.

''Fine.'' She stuck hers out back.

"Fine then." He pulled her closer and kissed her.

''I thought you wouldn't be against me anymore.'' She mumbled.

"I lied." He replied and pulled her to rest on top of him.

''Hmm.'' She grinned, pulling her hair back behind her ears.

"I wouldn't do that in million years." He kissed her again softly. She leaned closer and kissed him back. "Hmmm." He smiled into the kiss and kept kissing her. She ran her hands over his chest. His hands moved on her back as the kiss got a bit more intense. Her hands slipped under his shirt. A light moan passed his lips as he placed his hands on her butt. She felt desire going through her body. He gave her tight butt a little squeeze as his tongue passed her lips, slipping into her mouth. She moaned into his mouth, pushing her hips against his. Another moan left the back of his throat as his erection grew against her. Suddenly he wasn't that tired anymore.

''You're hard already.'' She mumbled.

"You're hot, can you really blame me?" He murmured back.

''Hmmm.'' She grinned, playing her fingers over his chest. He smirked and moved his hands to her face and kissed her fully. She kissed him back again. Slowly his arms draped around her waist, holding her against him. She moved to ran her fingers through his hair. His lips still against hers, he slowly rolled them over on the bed so that he was on top. She opened her eyes, kissing him. His eyes were still closed, carrying on the passionate kissing. She looked at him, her hands roaming his torso. He moaned against her lips, after a while pulling back from the kiss, opening his eyes and looking at her. She looked back into his eyes deeply. He smiled at her and studied her eyes with care. 'I love you' she mouthed. 'I love you too' he mouthed back lovingly. 'So much.' This made her smile sweetly. He smiled as well and placed a light kiss on her lips.

''Do you wanna do it?''

"Yeah I'd really want to." He brushed her hair. She smiled up at him.

"What about you?" He couldn't help but ask as he kissed her softly.

''I wouldn't ask if I didn't right?''

"Yeah you wouldn't." He smiled against her lips, running his other hand down her side.

''Mhm.''

He let his hand travel lower, onto her thigh. She played with the drawstrings of his sweatpants. He moaned lowly against her lips and moved his hands upwards, taking off her shirt. He shifted so he could take it off. His lips were already on hers when the shirt hit the floor. She took off his shirt. He placed his lips on her neck, planting kisses on her neck and throat, bringing his other hand to her exposed breast. She wrapped her legs around his legs. He circled her nipple with his tongue while his other hand gave the other breast some attention. She took off his sweatpants. After a while he moved his kisses back to her lips. She roamed her fingers over his body. He moaned against her lips and slowly brought down her panties. She lifted her hips for him. He moved his lips off of hers and moved down her body as he brought her panties to her ankles, taking them off. She started doing the same with his boxers. He kissed her stomach before returning up to her. She smiled up at him. He smiled back at her, brushing her hips with his hand. She softly kissed his lips. He brought her leg around his hips, running his hand over the smooth skin. Her arms wrapped around his neck.

"Ready?" He spoke softly, gently brushing her leg. ''Mhm.'' She nodded. Derek smiled and kissed her in a sweet way, pushing into her. She closed her eyes, moaning. He moaned, letting her adjust to his size once he filled her completely. ''Oh Derek.'' He smiled at her reaction, teasingly asking a question. "What is it babe?"

''Ahh you feel so good.''

"You feel great too." He murmured against her lips as he slowly began thrusting into her. Her eyes fluttered close again and her breath got ragged. His pulse was racing as the good feeling spread over his body. Small moans kept leaving her lips. His lips muffled both of their moans as he brought her other leg around his hips as well. She moved her legs up higher. He gasped at the feeling, going a bit deeper. ''Oh more.'' He pushed slightly harder, deeper, making a moan leave his lips. ''Fully.'' She demanded. "Bossy." He mumbled against her lips, grinning as he pushed all the way. ''Ahhh.'' She moaned out loudly. He pressed his lips on hers, after all it was her parents' house. Just then just as loud moan left his lips. Her moans grew louder with each thrust. He couldn't control it, his moaning was even louder than hers as their hips were slammed together.

''Oh god Derek.'' She felt herself on the edge.

"Addison, you feel so good." He managed to say, his head cloudy with stars in front of his eyes.

''I'm gonna come.'' She panted.

"God me too." He pressed his lips on hers. Not a second later she came, crying out his name. A thrust later his orgasm washed over him, their lips were together but still he managed to moan out her name loudly. She was breathing quick and heavily.

He had grabbed the sheets, still holding them tightly. "Wow."

''Hmmmm.'' She smiled widely. There was a grin on his face as he pecked her lips. "Hmhmm..."

''That was amazing.''

"Totally, that was mind-blowing."

Addison smiled tiredly at him. He pecked her lips once, letting go of the sheets. She held him close. He tenderly brushed some hair off of her face.

''You tired?''

"A bit." He confessed.

''Wanna sleep?''

"Do you?"

''Maybe.'''

"Hmmm? Or do you have the energy for round two?" He gave her a little grin.

''Seriously?'' She raised her eyebrow.

"Why not?" He shrugged.

''I'm kinda tired to do more...''

"Aww." He smiled and kissed her softly. "Let's go to sleep then."

''Or you could do things to me if you are up for that?''

"Hmm what things?" He smiled again and kissed her neck.

''Hmm go down there?''

"Hmm maybe." He said teasingly, pulling out of her slowly.

''Maybe?''

"Hmm." He started kissing lower, on her collarbone. She smiled. He kissed there for multiple seconds before moving even lower, spilling hot kisses on her breasts. She closed her eyes. He started kissing her stomach, parting her legs with his hands. She parted her legs voluntarily for him. He breathed hot air on her private parts before kissing her inner thigh. ''Derek.'' She breathed. He grinned at the response and re-positioned himself, holding down her hips as he lowered his head again. She closed her eyes again. He ran his tongue on her. ''Ahhh.'' He let his tongue circle her clit with teasing movement. ''Derek.'' She arched her back. He looked up at her, letting his tongue move over her clit now. She let out a loud moan. He once again let his tongue move on her before he suddenly slipped it inside of her. She let out an even louder moan, bucking her hips up. He tried to hold her hips in place as he began moving his tongue. ''Oh Derek!'' He couldn't help but smile as he carried on doing what he was doing, his fingers moving up her thigh. She was getting lost in what he was doing. After a while he pulled out his tongue and attacked her clit again, his fingers replacing his tongue. Her breathing got quicker and she was close again. He started moving his fingers in the same rhythm, curling his fingers.

''Derek!'' He sucked her on her clit lightly, his fingers going as deep as they could.

Her eyes were tightly shut, moaning out his name again loudly as she orgasm-ed.

He carried on the movement until she was back from the cloud nine.

''Oh god.'' She was panting afterwards.

"I take that as you liked it." He kissed her inner thigh gently and removed his fingers.

''Hmm more than you can imagine.''

"That's good." He smiled and kissed his way back to her soft lips.

''Hmhmm.''

He placed a kiss on her jaw. "Hmm."

''Thank you, for that.''

"Hmm it was my pleasure." He smiled widely and linked their hands together.

''Really?''

"Well kind of." He shrugged a bit, playing with her fingers.

''Kind of?''

"Yeah, you know, it made you feel good which made me feel good and I like doing that to you." He couldn't really explain.

''Hmmm.'' She smiled. He gave her a soft kiss on her lips.

''I love you.''

"I love you too, really I do." He said softly. She smiled at him. He once again brushed some hair off her face. She pulled up her panties. She only kept on her panties and snuggled under the blankets. He smiled at her and rolled onto his side once the boxers were on, his arm wrapping around her middle. She snuggled against his body. Derek placed multiple kisses on her forehead and pulled her even closer.

''Sweet dreams.''

"You too, dream of me." He mumbled.

''I always do.''

He smiled at the statement. "Good, I dream about you too."

''Well, unless I dream about Russell Crowe.''

Derek laughed softly. "Sure, sure."

She chuckled.

"Like you could resist me, I'm hundred times better looking than him."

''Oh are you?''

"Oh I am." He grinned.

''What makes you think?''

"It's pretty obvious, duh." He rolled his eyes.

''Well?''

"Well I'm handsome." He grinned and kissed her on the lips.

''Says?''

He let out a laugh, shaking his head. "You've said it, multiple times."

''Maybe I lied.''

He gave her a look. "Did not."

''Maybe I did.'' She looked back at him.

He pouted. "Did nooot."

''Maybe you're not handsome, maybe I don't even find you pretty at all!'' She knew this stuff got to him.

"Oh shut up!" He started tickling her, sticking out his tongue.

''Nooo.'' She pushed him away.

"I am handsome." He pouted and pulled her against him, tickling her sides.

''No you're not!''

"You suckkk." He kissed her on the lips.

''If you ask and I want to.''

He laughed a little before pulling back from the kiss. "You're such a bad wife, crushing my ego."

''Well you shouldn't have been so ugly then.'' She stuck out her tongue.

"I'm not ugly!" He poked out his tongue as well.

''Oh you are, my eyes hurt from it.''

He screwed up his face. "You're such a mean person, I don't officially like you anymore."

''Really, you're just overall horrible to look at.'' She continued joking. Once again he stuck out his tongue. "Am nooot."

''You so are.''

"I so am not! You're mean and unkind!"

''Oh and what do you think makes you pretty then?''

"Well obviously my eyes, and the hair." He rolled his eyes like this was obvious, which it really was.

''Oh and what's so fancy about that huh?''

"I don't like you really." He said again and kissed her on the lips.

''Hmm, answer my question.''

"It's simply the best." He rolled his eyes and ran his hand through it.

''Something must be wrong with your eyes Mr. Shepherd.

"There's nothing wrong with my eyes Mrs. Shepherd."

''Oh there is, and with your hair too.''

He poked out his tongue and pulled her on top of him. "Oh there's nothing wrong with my eyes or my hair!"

''There is.'' She repeated. ''And your nose looks funny as well.''

"It does not!" He covered his face.

''Doeees.'' She laughed, planting kisses all over his (very handsome) face.

"Nooo." He stuck out his tongue and wrapped his arms around her middle.

''Kidding, you're gorgeous.''

"Uhuh, how do I know you're not lying?" He kissed her on the lips.

''Hmm you don't.'' She pecked his lips.

"Uh uhhh, so you think I'm handsome?" He grinned at her.

''I do.''

"And I think you're beautiful." He cupped her face and kissed her on the nose.

''Thanks.'' She giggled.

"Hmmm no problem at all." He smiled up at her.

''What do you like best of me?''

"Umm I could be romantic and say your eyes, or I could say that your boobs and legs are the best part of you. I could tell you I think your butt looks pretty. I could tell you your lips are soft as baby's cheek. But I think I'd go with umm... your hair."

''My hair...''

"And your boobs, and those long legs, and your eyes. I love everything about you really."

''Well one thing, the best, my hair, seriously?''

Derek shrugged. "I really love your hair, I love the whole package and can't really choose. And hey it's not like I wanted to tell you I think your breasts are the best part of you which they are."

''Why are they?''

"I don't know... they're round and nice and pretty..." He shrugged.

''I wish they were bigger.''

"They're amazing the way they are really."

''How?''

"They don't need to be any bigger Addison, I think they're just the right size."

''Wouldn't you like them to be bigger? Like a D.''

"No, C is really okay, you don't need to have bigger boobs." He gave a little sigh.

''Well I think I do.''

"Addison you're not getting an operation, seriously. I'm saying no."

''They're my boobs.''

"I'm your husband and the one who's touching them."

''That doesn't matter.''

"It does matter and I'm forbidding you from doing that to yourself."

''If I really want this I will do it anyway.''

"You won't because I'm saying no. You don't need bigger boobs to make me think you're attractive, hell I know that already."

''What if I want it for myself?''

"You shouldn't want that really. You don't want to end up like your mother, after all the surgery, she doesn't even look good anymore."

''They are just my boobs.''

"Still, look Addison, I love your boobs just the way they are. I don't think you need to change anything."

''Well I do.''

"You shouldn't." He shook his head as a sigh left his lips. "You don't need to change anything. I think you look beautiful 24 hours a day."

''But I don't.''

"I know you don't, but you really should. Everyone's jealous, even your own mot..." He cut himself off as he realised what he was about to tell her.

''My what?''

"Your mother."

''Excuse me?''

"That's why she got all the surgery, she doesn't like how she looks." No wonder, he added. "She wanted to be more like you." He shrugged.

''That's not true.''

"Well that'd make sense."

''How?''

"Well she's always saying those stuff to you which isn't true, making you think you're ugly or fat or dumb."

''She thinks I am.''

"She doesn't, or if she does, she's mentally challenged because you really are not."

Addison looked at him.

"Really Addison, you shouldn't mind her comments, she's just jealous."

''She's not.''

"She has a reason to be."

''Oh she does not.''

"Oh she does, you're hundred time better-looking than her."

''I'm not.''

"You are, she's had surgery, she's not half as attractive as you."

''She's thinner than me.''

"You're pregnant honey, and I'd bet hundred dollars that she's had liposuction too."

''I shouldn't be showing.''

"You're not fat."

''I shouldn't be showing yet.''

"You're not."

''I am.''

"You're so not."

''I so am.''

"Why are we arguing about whether or not you're showing? You're not fat."

''Whatever Derek.''

A sigh passed his lips. "Maybe we should just sleep."

''Yeah.''

"Goodnight-kiss?"

She just shrugged.

"Good night." He gave her a little smile, trying to hide that she had just broken his heart a little.

''Night....''

"Yeah... sleep well." He closed his eyes, biting on his lip a bit. She sighed and closed her eyes as well. He couldn't help but place a light kiss on her cheek. She turned around in the bed. He sighed and did the same. She wrapped her arms around herself. He kept his eyes shut tightly, waiting for the plane to the dreamland come and get him. Addison couldn't fall asleep.

Few minutes later he rolled onto his back. "I can't sleep."

''Then try.''

"I did, I just can't sleep."

''Me either.''

"I'm so used to sleeping with you in my arms."

''What do you mean?''

"I can't really sleep without you."

''I'm right here.''

"You're not close enough, and I didn't even get a good night kiss."

''If you wanted one you should've got one.''

"But I didn't, and if you don't want to be kissed, I won't kiss you. You shrugged when I asked."

''I didn't say no.''

"You didn't have to, you shrugged which doesn't really look like you wanted to be kissed.

She didn't respond, her bare back still facing him.

"Look I don't even know why we're arguing, could we like stop arguing or something?"

''We aren't arguing.''

"We are, you're not even looking at me."

''It's dark.''

"That doesn't make sense, it's not good enough reason." He replied, shaking his head.

''Why would I look at you while it's dark.''

"Fine then don't look at me, be pissed at me."

''I never said I was pissed, god!''

"You're acting like you are."

''No you think so.''

"So you're not pissed at me?" Or weren't, whatever.

''No.''

"Okay, well that's good."

''Yes.''

"Can I hold you?"

''If you want to.''

"I do." He moved so that he was lying on his side, his face towards her back. She waited for him to hold her. He draped his arm around her stomach, moving closer to her. ''I love you.'' She said quietly, just above a whisper. "I love you too." He whispered back at her, placing a kiss on her nape. She closed her eyes again. His eyes fell shut and he instantly felt his breathing getting calmer and more even. She started to drift off to sleep. He fell asleep within few seconds, still holding her in his arms. She followed him soon.


	31. Waking up, Fights and Final goodbyes

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 31 – Waking up, Fights and Final goodbyes_

The next morning he woke up, unconsciously pulling her a little closer to him. Addison was still asleep. He placed a light kiss on her shoulder and just stayed there, holding her, watching her. She was curled up in a ball. He smiled and brought the covers higher on them, closing his eyes. She turned in his arms. He smiled and placed a kiss on her forehead, his eyes still closed. She let out a few small noises. He chuckled quietly and shook his head. She started to toss and turn.

"Shhh..." He tried to calm her down, holding her a bit closer. "It's just me..."

She opened her eyes.

"Are you okay?" He spoke softly, rubbing her back.

''Huh?'' She asked groggily.

"You were tossing around." He explained, placing a kiss on her forehead.

''Oh.'' She rubbed her face. He gave a little smile and brushed some hair off her face.

''Hmm what time is it?''

"I don't know, I haven't..." He gave a little morning-yawn. "...checked."

''Hmmm.'' She stretched out. He placed a wet kiss on her throat.

''Hmmmm.''

He smiled at her and placed another one slowly. "Good morning."

''Morning.'' She kissed his lips.

"Hmhmm." He kissed her back tenderly. They kissed each other morning softly. Sometime later he pulled back from the kiss and kissed her few more times. She smiled at him.

"Hmm this indeed is a good morning." He smiled back at her, kissing her once more.

''Stubble.''

He pouted. "Fine I'll shave, buttt I'm getting one more kiss before that."

She merely pecked his lips.

"Cheating." He rolled his eyes and gave her one more soft kiss before getting up. Addison yawned widely. He let out a laugh. "Cute."

She gave him a sweet smile. Derek walked to his bag and searched for the shaver. Addison watched him from the bed. He found it few moments later and walked into the bathroom. Addison closed her eyes and snuggled deeper into the blankets. He started to shave tiredly, they hadn't really slept that much. She fell back asleep. He carried on doing what he was doing, once he was happy with the results he washed his face and walked back into the room. Addison was asleep and the bedroom door slowly opened. Derek looked at the door, freezing.

Two pairs of little feet patted over the wooden floor towards the big bed. Derek chuckled and walked towards the closet, taking some clothes. "You've been seen." He informed the two-year-old twins. The kids who were trying to climb on the bed looked at him shocked, Hailey even scared.

"Aww." Derek gave them a smile, pulling on sweatpants. "You two are up early."

''We couldn't sleep.'' Justin managed to get up on the bed but Hailey didn't quite seem to achieve the same. Derek walked to the bed and threw the shirt onto the bed before he picked up Hailey. "You couldn't?" He placed a kiss on Hailey's cheek.

''I could!''

"Hmhmm." Derek smiled and placed Hailey on the bed as well before he sat on the edge of the bed. Hailey snuggled against her father. He smiled at her and a kiss hit the top of her head, still not bothering to put on his shirt.

''What are we going to do today daddy?''

"Well we might go shopping today, would that be fun?" He smiled and moved to lay next to Addison.

''Shopping for what??''

"I don't know yet." He laughed softly.

''Toys??''

"We'll ask that from mommy."

''I hope soooooo.''

"I know you do sweetie, you always want more toys."

''But I don't have much toys.'' She pouted.

"Oh you do honey, when I was young..." God I sound like my father, he thought. "...I didn't have that much toys."

''You didn't?'' Her eyes widened.

"Nope." He placed a kiss on her nose.

''Oh...'' She gave him a sad look. ''You can have my doll.''

Derek smiled sweetly. "I can play with your doll sometimes, but it's still your doll okay?"

''But you can have it.''

"Honey, it's your doll." Derek smiled and gave a kiss on her lips while Justin just laid on his back next to Derek.

''But you didn't have any toys...''

"I have now." He smiled and sat his little girl on his stomach while Justin tried to act cool.

Addison slept through it all as Hailey gave her daddy kisses all over his face. Derek laughed softly and gave her a kiss on the lips. "Hmm I think you missed a spot." He placed a finger on his other cheek. She giggled and kissed that spot. Derek laughed softly and kissed Hailey's forehead.

"What are those?" Justin pointed at Derek's six-pack. Hailey turned her head to look at her father's stomach as well.

"Move Hails! It continues!" Justin moved Hailey so that Derek's whole stomach was exposed. "Wow..." Derek couldn't speak through the laughing. Addison started to stir.

''That looks weird on your belly!'' Hailey giggled, hiking up her own pyjama to look at her tummy. She had a round toddler belly, unlike Justin who's tummy was all flat. Derek carried on laughing, looking down at his six-pack. "It does not look weird on my belly! It looks good!"

"I want one too!" Justin tapped his own stomach.

''No it's weird!''

"Your mommy doesn't think so." Derek said defensively.

''Why?''

"Because it's not weird! It doesn't look weird." Derek poked his stomach.

''It does!'' She carefully started poking his tummy. Derek chuckled at the touch. "Hails that tickles."

She giggled. Justin ran his fingers over the muscles. "Can I get one too?!"

"When you're older." He smiled and moved on the mattress, this really tickled.

''How do you get it?'' The little boy asked.

"Well you have to work out a bit. It took daddy a while to get it."

''But how?''

"Well daddy went to the gym and jogged with mommy." And had sex, it burns a lot of calories.

''Hmmm.'' Justin frowned.

"Hmm?" Derek raised his eyebrows.

''Later maybe.''

"You don't have to think about that for years baby." Derek smiled. Addison woke up. Derek placed a kiss on Justin's lips and then one on Hailey's. "And you little miss... it is not weird."

''It issssssssssss.'' She giggled as her mother opened her eyes.

"Is not!" Derek laughed softly. "What makes it weird, huh?"

''Because it looks like there's something in your belly!''

Derek couldn't stop laughing. "It does not! They're muscles you silly little girl!"

''Still weird.''

''Morning Chatterbugs.''

"Morning mommy!" Justin grinned and waved at her from the other side of Derek.

Derek turned to look at Addison, a smile on his face. "Hey, I'm being told my tummy looks weird." His smile turned into pouting.

''Morning sweetheart. And why does it?''

"It has muscles." Derek rolled his eyes. "Which apparently look like something's in there." She chuckled.

"It does not, right?" He screwed up his face and poked his six-pack again.

"No Derek."

"Good." He grinned and gave her a little kiss as a reward or something.

"Morning."

"Hmm Morning." He gave her another kiss. "And see? The stubble is gone."

''Hmhmm good.'' She smiled and looked at her daughter. ''Aren't you going to talk to mommy?'' She asked. She shook her head before giggling. "Morning!"

"Good morning sweetheart.'' Addison held her arms out for her. Hailey moved into her mother's arms and hugged her tightly. Addison kissed the top of her daughter's head. Hailey hugged her and held onto her tight.

''Did you sleep well sweetie?''

She nodded her head. "Justin warmed me up."

''Oh that's good.'' Addison chuckled. ''Have you been cold during the night then?''

"A bit." She answered, nodding her head.

''Oh sorry honey, tell that next time. I'll put on an extra blanket.''

"Okay!" She said cheerily and gave her mother a kiss. Addison gave her a kiss back.

"I'm hungryyy." Hailey rubbed her tummy.

''Hmm we'll have breakfast soon.''

"But I'm hungry now." She pouted.

''Sweetie be patient.''

"I don't like to be patient."

''Oh I know.''

Hailey clapped her hands together. "Fooooood."

''Sweetie.''

"But I'm hungry."

''I know that now.''

"Can't we just go eat cheeseeeee?"

"Or pasta?" Justin suggested and Derek shook his head.

''I'll make some breakfast.'' Addison looked at Derek to throw her a shirt. Derek lazily got up and walked to the closet, trying to choose. "Which one?"

''A long one.''

He smiled and grabbed a shirt, throwing it to her as he walked back to the bed. ''Thanks.'' She took it and pulled it on without letting the sheet drop. Derek had partly wished it'd drop. "No problem." He pecked her lips softly. She gave him a smile and got out of the bed. Derek took his shirt from the bed and pulled it over his head. She walked towards the closed and pulled on her robe, then picking Hailey up from the bed.

"I want some too!" Justin exclaimed.

''Some what honey?''

"Fooood." He said and got up from the bed quickly.

''Of course.'' She bent down to pick him up as well. Justin grinned widely and Derek laughed at his face.

''You going downstairs too Der?''

"Sure." He smiled and held his arms out for Hailey, taking her from Addison. Hailey giggled and cuddled up against her father's chest. Derek shook his head chuckling and gave her a kiss. They went downstairs. Soon they stepped into the kitchen, seeing Caleb sipping a mug filled with coffee.

''Morning.'' Addison said. Caleb mumbled back something that sounded like good morning. Her eyebrows raised as she sat Justin down on a chair.

"Morning." Derek smiled and placed Hailey on a chair next to Justin.

"Hmhmm" He rubbed his face tiredly and took another long sip.

''You okay dad?'' Addison asked as she opened the fridge.

"Yeah, just.. tired." He replied and sipped again.

''Oh. How come?''

"Nothing really... just couldn't sleep."

''Ahh okay.''

"And I think there was a party going on in the next door." He drank his coffee calmly.

''Oh didn't notice anything.''

"Hmmm yeah..." Caleb nodded.

She was making breakfast for her children. Derek wrapped his arms around Addison's waist from behind and watched her prepare the breakfast. She smiled at this. Caleb looked at them, a smile tugging at his lips.

"Can I get some tooo?" Derek whined into her ear, pressing a kiss on it.

''Of course, I'm already making.''

"The reason I love you." He whispered and kept looking at her make the breakfast.

''Do you want some too dad?''

"No, I'm fine like this." He threw her a smile and carried on sipping the coffee.

"You should eat!" Hailey advised.

''Yeah!'' Justin agreed.

"You'll get stronger!" Hailey nodded. Caleb laughed.

"Well grandpa already ate." He said and watched the twins.

''Oooooh.'' Hailey looked at him with big eyes. ''What did you eat?''

"A sandwich, it was good." Caleb looked straight into Hailey's eyes, smiling.

''What was on it?''

"There was cheese and some butter." He replied with a yet another smile.

''Cheese!!!''

"They have a thing for cheese." Derek explained.

"Oh, I'll keep that in mind."

Addison placed a kiss on her husband's lips. Derek smiled widely and gave her a soft, but quick kiss back. She continued to peck his lips. He pecked hers back after every peck she gave him. Caleb politely looked away. She started to deepen the kiss. He pulled her slightly closer and kissed her back passionately but softly. She slipped her tongue into his mouth. He held her against him tightly, letting his tongue move against hers. She kissed him passionately, forgetting her father was in the same room. Derek tilted his head to the side a bit, bringing her even closer, against his strong body. Caleb cleared his throat after some time, shifting uncomfortably. Addison pulled back embarrassed. Derek's cheeks flushed and he loosened his grip of her. Caleb sipped his coffee, that was not what he wanted to see. Addison continued to make breakfast silently. Derek placed one single kiss on her cheek before he went to sit opposite to Justin. She filled glasses with milk.

"Are there butterflies here?" Justin asked suddenly.

''In Aussie?''

He nodded.

''Of course honey, we're not on Mars.''

"Oh." Justin shrugged and started playing with the hem of his pyjamas. She put their food and milk in front of them. Derek gave her a smile and then started eating. Caleb walked to the table and took a seat next to Derek. Addison sat down as well. Derek ate silently, still embarrassed about the scene they had made. They all started eating. Caleb looked between Derek and Addison.

''Hmm?''

"Hmm nothing." Caleb gave a smile and carried on sipping his coffee.

''You sure?''

"Yeah." He smiled again and then just looked down at his coffee, looking at the reflection.

''Okay...''

"So what are we going to do today?" Derek asked after a while.

''Erhm... going into town maybe?''

"Okay sure, sounds good." Derek smiled widely and took a sip of milk.

''Yeah...''

Derek gave Addison a smile and they all carried on eating.

''Maybe we can go to the outback tomorrow?''

"What's outback?" Justin asked thoughtfully.

''A big part in the country where no people live.''

"Oh... why would we go there?" Justin screwed up his face.

''Because the nature is really pretty there.''

"Then why don't people live there?" Hailey piped in.

''Well some people live there, but most don't because then they'd live in the middle of nowhere and farms, shops, even roads lie hundreds of kilometres apart.''

"Oh... why aren't there big cities then?" Hailey shrugged and took a big sip of milk.

''Because the big cities are somewhere else in Australia. In the outback it's about the nature and the animals.''

"Animals?" Justin's face lit up.

''Yeah animals, we might even see some kangaroos.'' She sipped her tea.

"YAY!" Hailey grinned and so did Justin.

"I wanna go there now!"

''Tomorrow honey.'' Addison smiled, remembering how she used to cycle through a small part of the outback to her school. She was forbidden by her parents to leave the road but she remembered how one day back from school she had been too curious and lost the road, making her parents, the sheriff and the entire town search for her.

"Fine." Both of the kids pouted and finished their breakfast.

''You'll love it but we need to see if it isn't too hot to go.''

"Oh, what if it's hot??" Hailey's eyes widened. "Don't we go then??"

''Yeah or we'll need to go really early then.''

Justin crossed his arms. "No. You promised!"

''Justin you don't know how hot it can be.''

"I'm strong!" He protested.

"Justin, it's not about being strong okay? And you need to listen to mommy when she says. She knows how hot it can be."

''It can go up to 122 degrees in summer and that's dangerous.''

"Oh..." Justin shrugged and gave his father a little look, though the little guy respected Derek, he still didn't want to give up, he wanted to go.

"What animals are there?" Hailey asked.

"Well there are a lot of animals, kangaroo, some lizards and ostriches, coyotes…" Caleb smiled.

''Those birds are scary!!''

Caleb laughed. "They are not."

''They are!''

He shook his head. "Okay then little girl, you win this time."

She smiled widely. Derek shook his head chuckling, the girl always seemed to get what she wanted. She continued eating her bread. Sometime later they all were ready, Maria walked into the room. Addison looked up at her mother, realizing she was still wearing her pyjamas and robe. Maria snorted sarcastically as she eyed her daughter. "Don't you have anything to wear?"

''I'm wearing my pyjamas.''

"Well you could get dressed, I don't want to see THAT." Maria commented.

''See what??''

"All that." She made a round shape into the air.

''There's nothing to see.''

She shrugged. "I disagree." Derek made a little sigh and looked at Caleb, hoping he'd do something to this.

''Maria.'' Caleb said in an annoyed voice.

"What? It's the truth, I at least think about what to wear." Maria said like it was obvious.

''She hasn't even gotten dressed yet.''

"Well she should." Maria rolled her eyes took a mug from the cupboard. Caleb sighed loudly. Maria gave him a look and poured herself some coffee. Addison was looking down at her plate. Derek slowly placed his hand on Addison's.

"Why is grams so grumpy?" Justin asked innocently with furrowed eyebrows.

''Justin!'' Addison scolded her son.

"What?" Justin asked as Maria threw them a look. Addison sighed and got up from the table. Derek looked up to her before looking at Caleb. "Caleb, could YOU look after them for a second?"

''Eh yeah...'' Caleb nodded.

"Thanks." Derek gave a little smile and got up as well. Addison shook her head and quickly made her way upstairs. He followed her just a moment later. She went up to her room. Derek took her hand in his as he caught up with her, just a moment before they stepped into the room. She let out a loud sigh, not looking at him. ''What?''

He gave her hand a light squeeze. "Are you okay?"

''I'm fine Derek.''

He wrapped his arms around her waist. "Are you really or are you just saying?"

''I'm just going to change.'' She put her face against his chest.

"Okay." He whispered against her hair, holding her. "I just needed to see you're okay."

''I'm fine.''

He placed a kiss on her red hair. "Okay, and really, you shouldn't mind those statements."

She shrugged, her arms tightly around his torso.

"Well from what I know, those aren't even true. She has no reason to say them."

She just shrugged again. He held her closer and carried on placing tiny kisses on her head. She had her eyes closed.

"I love you." He spoke after a moment.

''I love you too...''

He pulled back slightly and gave a little soft kiss on her lips. She held him close. His hands brushed her back lightly. She placed a kiss against his chest. He smiled a little and gave another kiss against her forehead. She closed her eyes again, simply hugging him. He pulled her a bit closer. ''I wish she wasn't here.'' She whispered. "Me too." He told her quietly, then none of this would have happened, she'd be happy and they'd be perfect together. She hugged him even closer. "Honey... it's okay." He whispered against her hair, hating that her mother was like this, why couldn't she be normal? She nodded against him. "I don't know what I would do without you." He whispered, holding her against him securely. ''Me either.'' He kissed the top of her head, smiling a bit. She pulled back from him. He looked into her eyes. She looked back into his. ''I'm going to get dressed...''

"Yeah you probably should." He made her a small smile. She nodded and walked into her room. Derek followed her, not wanting to go downstairs just yet.

''What are you doing?''

"I don't want to go downstairs just yet." He shrugged a bit.

''Oh.'' She walked towards her closet and opened it. ''What am I supposed to wear?''

"I don't know, I like all your clothes." Especially when they're on the floor next to the bed. She sighed. ''Well that helps.''

"Well..." He walked behind her and again draped her arms around her waist from behind. "I love all them, you can wear anything you want to."

''Bet I don't.''

Derek sighed a bit and gave a kiss on her ear. "I know you look good in anything."

''I don't.'' She sighed and rummaged through her clothes.

"Oh you do, trust me on this one. You could wear anything."

''I need something that makes me look thin.'' She mumbled to herself.

"You'll look thin in anything." He mumbled against her shoulder, holding her close. She kept going through her clothes.

"What about that one?" He pointed at one of the shirts.

''No.'' She screwed up her face.

"It looks great on you, everything does really."

She sighed loudly, not finding anything.

"Honey, just take something, it doesn't really matter."

''But I don't know what.'' She whined.

"Aww, what about that one?" He pointed at yet another shirt.

''No come on.''

"I'm just throwing in ideas." He shrugged. "Wear something you like."

''Like what?''

"Anything really, I like everything you wear." Especially your lingerie.

''Like?''

"Liiike everything, I don't know, all the dresses, your shirts, jeans, skirts..."

''You're really no help.''

"Well I don't like dressing." He simply told the truth.

''What?''

"I like undressing you." He shrugged, giving a kiss on her shoulder. "I'm not so good with dressing you."

''I noticed.'' She pulled out a white dress.

"That'd look good." He pointed out.

''Really?''

"Really. Really. Really." He murmured against her shoulder.

''Hmm.'' She inspected the dress.

"Hmhmm." He kissed her neck softly, bored.

''I'll try it on. Can you get me some underwear?''

He grinned. "Hmm sure. What do you want?" Black, lace.

''I don't mind, something that won't be see through in white.''

"And that is..." Not black, damn.

''White or cream.''

"Okay." He unwrapped his arms and began looking for some underwear for his wife. She already got out a pair of white gladiator heels. After a while he had chosen simple white (lacy) bra and thong. She waited for him to be done. He handed her the lingerie after a while, pecking her lips quickly. ''Thanks.'' She took it and started to take off her robe. He gave her a smile and walked to the bed, sitting down. She took off the big shirt she was wearing. He couldn't help but look at her bare back, hoping she'd turn around, but well that was a mission impossible. She took off the thong she was wearing. He shifted on the bed, trying not to stare, he was trying really hard but his eyes didn't seem to agree with his mind. She started to pull the new one on.

"You look hot." Hot? Derek what is this, high school?

''Hot?'' She turned around to look at him. His gaze dropped to her exposed breasts, his mouth hanging slightly open. "Y-yeah."

She rolled her eyes at him, chuckling as she put on her bra. He pouted slightly. "Not funny Addie, it's not my fault you have great boobs that make me say wow."

''Hmm thanks babe.''

"Hmm my pleasure." He gave her a smile and looked at her body for a moment. She put on the dress. He smiled at her, looking at her getting dressed. After getting the tight fitted dress on she started to strap on the heels. He watched her do this, how could this look so sexy to him? How did she have this affect on him? She tied a black ribbon around her waist and then picked up a brush and started to do her hair, putting in a black hair band.

"How can someone look beautiful and hot at the same time?" He asked, smiling at the woman in front of him, she really was the most perfect thing he had ever seen. She gave him a wide smile and walked towards the bed, holding his face in both her hands as she pecked his lips. ''Thank you.''

"Welcome." He pecked hers back at least million times, placing his hands on her hips. "I really mean it, you know?"

''I know.'' She looked into his eyes. He smiled at her, looking into hers.

''I love you.'' She was still holding his face in her hands.

"I love you way more." He smiled at her, not able to take his eyes off hers.

''You do not.''

"I so do, it's not possible to love a person more than I love you."

''Same for you.''

"Well then I guess it's a tie, how do we solve this?" He gave her a peck on the lips.

''Ah letting me go do my make-up.''

"You don't need to do your makeup." He gave her another quick kiss on her lips.

''I do.''

"Do not." He smiled and slowly let go of her.

''I do.'' She went into the bathroom.

He gave her a look and followed her. "Nope, I've seen you without makeup maaany times and you don't look bad."

''Shush.''

"Shush you." He kissed her on the lips.

She started to sort out her make-up. Derek looked at her, he just simply loved to watch her do her daily routines. She started with mascara. He smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist. She was fully occupied. He kissed her shoulder, her neck, even her cheek a few times, not able to keep his hands, or his lips, off of her. She smiled at his actions. His fingers played on her hips, softly rubbing them in small circles. She continued putting on layers of mascara, then applying some blush.

"Hmmm Mrs. Shepherd, I think you look good." He smiled, kissing her neck lazily, sucking on her skin.

''Hmm thank you Mr. Shepherd but don't you dare to make a hickey.''

"Fine Mrs. Shepherd." He sighed and gave her neck one more quick kiss.

''Thank you.''

"Welcome." He screwed up his face and instead kissed her shoulder. She finished with her make-up. He placed a kiss on her cheek. "I've been dying for a kiss for the past I dunno five minutes so you better kiss me now."

''Hmm maybe I don't want to.''

"Hmm you do, I know you." He gave her a little grin.

''Well maybe I don't now.'' She grinned.

"Uh uh, you so do." He inched his face closer to hers, still not kissing her.

''Shut up.''

"Gladly." He pecked her lips. She pecked his back.

"See? You so wanted to."

''Shut up Der.''

He smiled and pecked her lips again. "Fine, just this once."

''Good.''

"Uhuh." He pulled her a bit closer.

''I love you.''

"I love you too." He held her tightly. She smiled at him. ''How do I look?''

"Breathtaking, gorgeous, amazing, beautiful, hot."

She laughed at him.

"Hey it's true." He shrugged and smirked.

''But really, is this okay?''

"It is, you look amazing in it." He gave a little sigh, how many times had he already said that?

''Thank you then.''

"Welcome." He placed one more soft kiss on her lips. "Now c'mon they'll start wondering where we went."

''Yeah.'' She nodded. He gave her a smile and let his hand take hers in his.

They went downstairs together. They stepped into the kitchen, seeing the kids still by the table, talking to their grandfather. Addison walked into the kitchen and started to clean up the dishes, trying to ignore her mother. Derek walked to the table as Maria gave them a look. "That took you a while." She commented.

''I was getting ready.''

"Still, it shouldn't take that long." She carried on drinking her second cup of coffee.

''You take longer.''

"I don't, Addison. I don't need to." She let out a mean laugh and Derek instantly shot her a look.

''Well what are you saying I was doing then?''

"God Addison I'm just pointing out the obvious, it shouldn't take that long to put on some mascara and get into one of the O.K dresses."

''A what dress?''

"An O.K dress."

''What's that supposed to be?''

"It means that you could have put some thought into dressing."

"I happen to love that dress, I think it looks great on her." Derek defended.

''It's a simple dress. I'm on a holiday and going shopping, I don't need to put on a whole outfit for that.''

"God Addison, I'm just saying." She shrugged and threw her a look.

''I don't need you to judge me!''

Both, Derek and Maria jumped a bit on their seats. Derek was taken aback by this, he was happy for her, she finally stood up for herself.

"Well without me you wouldn't know what to do! You'd still be looking like you used to!"

''I don't look any different because of you!''

"You don't look like you used to! You wear makeup now, you use GOOD clothes!"

''Not because of you!''

"Fine then it's not because of me!"

''It isn't so don't ever think so!''

"Oh you little ungrateful bit..."

"LANGUAGE!" Derek yelled at her. "If you say one more word about her I swear to god I will.."

''What?! What were you going to say 'mom?!'' Addison yelled at her. ''That I'm a little ungrateful bitch? Well right back at you you slut!'' She couldn't control herself anymore.

"Oh shut the fuck up you fucking WHORE!" Maria got up from the seat as Caleb led the kids out of the room, trusting the women with Derek.

''Oh I'm the whore now?! Why don't you get another surgery huh? Or are you over your limit already?!''

"Oh you did not just say that! How fucking dare you?! I'm your mother! I raised you not to be like THAT!" She was yelling from the top of her lungs.

"LADIES!" Derek raised his voice.

''You didn't raise me at all!!''

"Like you're raising your children! You're not even a good mother!" Maria got up from her seat, looking at her daughter angrily.

"LADIES!"

''You don't even know HOW I raise my children, you don't even know them!''

"They can't behave Addison! And with your genes I bet they won't even look good!"

"Mrs. Montgomery with all the respect, SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

''You should be ashamed of yourself, you've accomplished absolutely nothing in life.''

"I have."

''Oh what?''

"A lot of things, I'm married."

''So am I.''

"I'm sorry I should have been a bit more specific with it, HAPPILY married."

''I am happily married, more than you could ever be.''

"Oh I am very happily married, you're the ones talking about divorce."

''That is none of your business.''

"But you're talking about divorce, Caleb and I aren't."

"That wasn't Addison's fault so don't fucking blame it on her." Derek was guilty.

''That's it.'' Addison turned around.

"Oh so you're just walking away?!"

''I am.''

"Oh that's all I get?!"

Addison didn't respond and walked out of the kitchen. Derek threw Maria a look and followed Addison a moment later. She went upstairs, starting to pack their stuff. Derek sighed and started helping. "That was just way over the line from her."

Addison opened her suitcase and started to throw clothes in it. He looked at her in silence, packing his things. She didn't bother to fold anything. He didn't know what he should say, maybe it was best to stay quiet. She continued to pack her stuff. He looked at her after he finished packing his clothes. A little sigh left his lips. When she was done she started with the kids' stuff.

"Are we going to the house?" He asked with another sigh as he walked into the bathroom.

''Yes.''

"Okay." He gathered the stuff from the bathroom. She continued to pack their stuff.

"She had no reason to say all that." Derek stated as he walked back into her old room.

''I know.''

"How in the world could she say those things?" He was pissed, no, he was mad at her.

''Well ask her.''

Derek sighed. "None of them were true."

She didn't say anything. He carried on packing.

''Did you empty the bathroom?''

"Yeah." He nodded.

''Closet?''

"Yeah." He looked at the closet, the doors were still open. "Do you have the kids' stuff?"

''Yeah, just need the toys and stuffed animals from the other room.''

"Oh okay, need a hand with those?"

''Yeah please.''

"Okay." He gave her a slight sad smile.

''Care to ask if your parents would adopt me?''

He smiled again, wrapping his arms around her slowly. She pouted at him.

"I'm sorry they're like that, you deserve a lot better." He brushed her back, his heart melting at the cute, sad pout on her face.

''This trip was supposed to be fun...''

"Yeah she kinda ruined the fun." He gave a little pout as well.

''Yeah...''

He gave a kiss on her forehead. "It'll get better."

''How?''

"It just will, we'll do fun stuff together." He smiled.

''I hope so.''

"It'll be fun." He gave her a kiss on her nose. She nodded.

"I love you Addie, it'll all be okay."

''I love you too.''

He gave her a light kiss on the lips. "Now, let's go pack up the rest of the stuff."

''Yeah.'' She started to look around. He unwrapped his arms after a moment, brushing her cheek gently.

''Eh... kids blankets are still in the bed.''

"Yeah, you want to get them or the toys?" He let his hand drop to the side a second later.

''I'll get them if that's okay with you.''

"Yeah of course, I'm just gonna go get the toys." He took one of the bags.

''Thanks, don't forget to check under the bed as well as in it.''

"Okay, won't." He gave her a little smile and left the room. She went downstairs.

Caleb was in the hall with a twin on his each hip. Without saying anything Addison took them out of his arms.

"Addison, what's going on?" He asked concerned.

''We're going.''

"Where? What? Why?" Thousand questions ran through his mind.

''We're going to the apartment we rented.'' She said coldly.

"Addison, I could talk to her. You don't have to leave." He didn't want them to but he knew there was no way the two women could live together for a moment longer.

''No.'' She simply said and took her children's hands, waiting for Derek to come down with the suitcases.

"Call me when you get there okay?" He asked as the both kids looked at their mother confused, asking what was going on.

''No.''

"Addie, sweetie." He begged. She shook her head, not looking at him.

"Addison please tell me what's going on."

''Well guess!''

"I'm sorry honey, she's just out of control." He looked at her, apologizing.

Addison shook her head at him.

"I can't do anything to it, I can't..."

Derek walked down the stairs with all their bags.

''Do you have everything?'' She ignored her father and looked at Derek.

"Yeah, I should have it all." He looked at Caleb

''Good.'' She opened the front door. Derek walked out of the house with her.

"Call me!" Caleb yelled after them, leaning against the door frame, giving a sigh. Addison didn't respond as they simply walked towards the car. Derek looked at him over his shoulder before he placed the bags behind the car, taking the key from the pocket of his coat. Justin asked Addison something who responded, just after then both kids started to sob. Derek looked at them helplessly and then put the bags into the trunk. Hailey held tightly onto her mother, tears pouring down her pretty cheeks. Addison was bent down and hugging the crying children. He closed the trunk and walked to them, bending down as well, hugging all of them.

Addison picked Hailey up, hugging her close. Hailey's head was against her shoulder, her little fingers holding her tightly, close to her, looking for help. Derek held Justin, having him as close as he could, pressing little kisses on his hair. Hailey looked at her grandfather, crying even harder. Caleb held one hand in front of his mouth as he waved her goodbye silently. The girl sobbing waved her tiny hand weakly. Caleb bit on his bottom lip, he wasn't going to cry, no way. 'Bye little one' he formed the words with his mouth though he was sure she couldn't read lips. The little girl continued to cry heartbreakingly. Derek was bouncing Justin in his arms, holding him tightly, trying to make him stop crying.

''Shh baby.'' Addison tried to calm her daughter down. To Hailey it felt like her throat was on fire and there was something stuck in there, like she wasn't able to breathe normally, she carried on crying. ''Baby calm down, what's wrong?''

"Grandpa..." She waved her tiny little hand weakly, looking at the elderly man still at the doorway. Justin slowly started to calm down. ''Do you wanna give him a kiss goodbye?'' Addison asked softly. She nodded her head unsure, she wanted to, she really did. Addison walked towards her father with her daughter. Derek watched them go, as they neared Caleb they could see him wipe his eyes a bit. Hailey reached towards him, managing to say something about grandpa and kiss, and he responded with hoarse voice. "Shh baby don't cry." Hailey was still crying, trying to cling onto Caleb. Caleb took her into his arms, hugging her against his strong chest.

''Grandpa.'' She sobbed.

"Shh... sweetie it's alright." He closed his eyes, feeling her little body's warmness against his.

''I. Wan. Stay.'' She was sobbed loudly.

"Aww honey, you should go with mommy and daddy, it's okay." His voice was still a bit hoarse, his arms around her. She shook her head, continuing to cling onto him.

"Sugarcup, please, don't make this any harder than it already is." He begged in a whisper. "Give grandpa a quick kiss before going okay?"

''Nooo!''

"Sweetiepie please." He juggled her on his arms a bit, changing her position.

''Grandpaaaaa.''

"We'll see again, I promise." He whispered into her hair softly, placing a kiss on her cheek.

''When??''

"Soon I hope." He didn't know when.

''When's soon?'' She sobbed.

"I don't know Hails." He admitted, kissing her on the forehead. The girl was hiccupping from the sobbing.

"Oh honey..." He didn't know what to say, brushing few strays of hair off her face.

''Hailey we have to go now.'' Addison told her daughter softly. She dug her tiny fingers into the material of her grandfather's shirt, shaking her head.

''Honey.''

"When is soon?!"

''I don't know Hailey, we have to go now.''

"When is soon?!" She asked again, louder, tears building up in her eyes.

"Sh... soon is soon." Caleb tried to make her let go of him.

''Hailey, Bug.'' Addison sighed. She began crying again before Caleb somehow managed to give her to Addison.

''Bye.'' She sighed and turned around.

"Bye." He was left alone. She strapped Hailey into the car seat. Justin was already sitting in his and Derek was on the driver's seat. She got into the car herself. He gave a little sigh and started the car. She put on her seatbelt.

"You sure?" He placed his hand over hers.

''No.'' She said honestly. ''But I have to.''

"Yeah, true." He gave a little sigh and started driving, moving his hand away from hers. She nodded, taking a deep breath. He looked at her while driving. "Okay, where do we go from here?"

''Erhm I don't know, check the route planner.''

He pulled to the side of the road, doing as told. "Okay so... we're going here. We have to go to the... right."

''Yeah.''

He started driving again, after some time they found themselves in front of a building.

''This is it.''

"Yeah, this really is it."

As he parked the car they got out. He looked at the building before taking Justin out of the car. Addison got Hailey. Justin looked at the building, tilting his head to the side. Addison closed the car and started to walk towards the house. Derek walked right behind her, his eyes on the building in front of them. They'd get the bags later. She opened the door, stepping into the house. He entered the house a bit later and put on the lights. She looked around and was impressed, it was beautiful. He smiled a bit as he looked around the room, at the walls, the carpet, the whole room seemed amazing to him. He liked this place.

''This is nice.'' She commented.

"Yeah, looking great." He agreed, nodding his head.

''You chose a beautiful apartment.'' She complimented him and kissed his cheek.

"Hmm thank you I'm glad you like it." He smiled and gave her a sweet peck on the lips.

''I love it.''

"I love it too, and I love you." He pecked her lips again before placing Justin on the floor.

''I love you too.''

"What do you think?" Derek asked the little girl in Addison's arms.

''It's pretty.''

"Really? Did daddy pick a good house?"

"YEAH!" Justin answered and looked up to them.

''Hmmm do you wanna unpack and then go to town?''

The little guy nodded his head and Derek did too. "Sounds like a good plan."

''Hmm great.'' She grabbed a bag and walked into the kitchen.

"I'll go get the rest of the bags." He called after her and walked out of the house.

''Mhm.'' She sat Hailey down on the kitchen counter. Hailey began humming quietly, looking at her little feet. Addison went to stand in front of her daughter, looking at her face. ''Hmmm.'' She smiled widely. ''You get more beautiful everyday Pumpkin.''

"Huh?" Hailey was lost in her own world. She looked at her mother, blinking her long eyelashes.

''You're beautiful, you're my beautiful baby Bug.''

"Thank you mommy." She smiled at her mother, a giggle leaving her lips. "You're pretty too!"

''Thanks baby.'' Addison smiled, pecking her daughter's little lips.

"You are welcome." She pecked her lips back, giving her a hug. She hugged her back closely.

"I love you mommy." She gave a little smile.

''I love you too baby Bug, so much.''

Hailey pulled back from the hug and looked around the big kitchen. "Can we bake cookies?"

''This week okay?''

She nodded her head excitedly. "Oki."

''We're going to shop today after lunch.''

"Yay! For toys?!" She jumped a bit.

''Yeah, you can look for a toy.'' Addison smiled.

"Yay!" Hailey smiled brightly and hugged her mother again. ''Hmm.'' She smiled and hugged her back, looking at her daughter. She couldn't believe how fast the little girl was growing these days. Hailey pulled back from the warmness of the hug as Justin and Derek walked into the room. Derek lowered himself to Justin's level and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "You're a great little helper."

''Hmm you unpacked all?''

"Yeah, Justin helped me." Derek smiled and picked up the little boy as he got up.

''Great.'' She smiled at her two boys. ''I'm finishing up with the lunch.

"Yeah? What are we going to have for lunch?" Derek walked closer to his wife and daughter.

''Omelets and pancakes.''

"Hmm the reason I love you." He pecked her cheek, smiling. She smiled at him gratefully. Derek wrapped his arm around her middle. ''Hmmm.'' She was done with the lunch.

"You need me to set the table?" He asked.

''Please.''

"No problem." He gave a little kiss on her lips and placed Justin on the counter, next to her sister. He started looking for the plates, soon finding them and placing them on the table. Addison started putting their lunch on the plates. Derek got the glasses and put them on the table after getting some forks and knives. After a minute they started their lunch.


	32. Shopping, bubbles and Free time

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 32 – Shopping, bubbles and Free time_

Later that afternoon the Shepherds were walking in the mall, Derek had Hailey on his hip, the little girl was looking around curiously. Justin was sitting contently in the stroller as Addison pushed it. This mall was about the same size as the ones in New York, it wasn't really different though the stores seemed a little different. They walked past a toy store, but it didn't really look that appealing, they soon spotted another one and made their way towards it.

''What do you wanna get here?'' Addison asked.

"I want a Diggimon! I saw them on the TV yesterday! It was so cool! One was called Agumon! I want it!" Justin told excitedly.

''We can look for it.''

"Yay!" Justin clapped his hands together.

"What about you Hails?" Derek asked his daughter.

''I want a dolly.''

"A doll? Okay." Derek smiled.

''Yay!''

Derek shook his head smiling as they stepped into the store. The kids looked around excited.

"Look there are stuffed toys!" Justin pointed at some.

''You wanna look at those baby?'' Addison asked him. He nodded with a wide smile on his face. "YES!"

''Alright.'' They walked towards the stuffed animals. Derek and Hailey followed them. Addison got her son out of the stroller so he could look around. He looked at the shelf, observing closely. "Look there's a cute piggy!" He pointed at one. Addison got the stuffed piggy.

"It looks a bit like Gabriel-grandpa!" Justin reached his arms towards it.

''That doesn't look like your grandfather!''

"I said a little!" Justin took it from Addison, smiling.

''Do you like it?''

He nodded. "It's cute!"

Addison looked at her husband. He shrugged, smiling. "Do you want it then?"

''Yes!'' He said excitedly.

Derek nodded, letting out a laugh. "Okay then."

''Can I?? Can I??''

"Sure honey, you can get the cute piggy."

''Yay!!''

He laughed and placed a kiss on the top of his head.

''Look daddy a duck!'' Hailey pointed at a stuffed duck excitedly. Derek chuckled, taking it from the shelf. "This one?"

''Yes!''

Derek looked at it, it was adorable. "Do you want it then?"

''Yes daddy please!''

"How could I resist that cute little smile of yours?" He shook his head and sighed before nodding his head. She giggled loudly.

"Okay fine then, you get your duck." Derek gave her the stuffed duck with a little kiss on the top of her head.

''Yay thank you daddy!''

"No problem honey." He was going to spoil his kids. Both kids were smiling widely.

"Okay I give up too easily." Derek whispered to Addison, a smile on his face.

Addison chuckled at him.

"They'll be spoiled before they're five years old." He chuckled as well.

''Yeah.'' She smiled.

"Not my fault they're as cute as their mommy."

''Hmmm.'' She pecked his lips. He gave her a short kiss back before looking at his children again.

''I wanna see more!''

"Sure, do you want to go look for the doll or the Diggimon first?" He asked the kids.

"Diggimon!"

''Dolls!''

"Well the dolls are closer." He said as he let his gaze wonder around the store.

''Yay dolls!''

Justin pouted and crossed his arms.

"Honey we'll go look for the Diggimon after it."

They walked towards the dolls. Hailey's eyes widened and she stared at all the dolls. Addison was holding her daughter's hand. Hailey's other hand was pointing at dolls, smiling widely. "Look at all the dolls!"

''Do you like any of those honey?''

"All of them!" She replied.

''Hmm but which would you like to have?''

"I don't know yet!" She giggled and looked at all of them. Addison smiled at her.

"Mommy that one is cute!" She reached for one doll from the shelf.

''That one?''

"Yeah!" She took it, smiling widely.

''Do you want this one baby?''

"Yes!!" She nodded multiple times excitedly.

''Alright then, give mommy a kiss.''

Hailey raised onto her toes, hugging her arms around Addison's waist, pouting her lips together. Addison bent down to her level. Hailey pecked her mother's lips, giving her a kiss. Addison smiled at her little girl.

"Woo!" Hailey grinned widely and giggled. Addison hugged her little girl closely.

"I want my Diggimon!" Justin demanded suddenly.

''Jussie.'' His mother warned.

"Can we go and try to find me a Diggimon?" He pouted sadly.

''Ask nicely.''

"I diiii-iii-iiid" He gave sweet smile.

''No, you did not.''

"I DID!" Justin shook his head powerfully, that's when Derek decided to take over.

"Do you remember the magic word? You could try that one and stop pouting."

Addison saw her son thinking.

"Can we please go?" Justin tried again, tilting his head to the side a bit.

''Yes, but that doesn't mean you're actually getting it.''

"Pleaaase? Hailey got a doll!"

''We'll see Justin.''

He crossed his arms and pouted.

"That won't help you Jussie." Derek pointed out.

''It won't.''

"Please?" Justin was still pouting.

''Justin, I said we'll see.'' She said as they looked around for the Diggimons.

"Come on." He pouted as they walked after Addison.

"Justin, sweetie, that is really not going to make you get anything." Derek spoke.

They found the right shelf and looked at the Diggimons.

"It's orange... Agumon.." Justin mumbled to himself and scanned the Diggimons.

Addison studied her little boy. He pointed at them as he looked at them. "That's Patamon! I think."

''Do you like that one?''

He shook his head. "It can't fight!"

''What one do you want then?''

"Agumon! It's yellow, or orange." Justin said thoughtfully and after a few moments the toy caught his eyes. "That's it mom!"

''This one honey?'' She took out the one he was pointing at.

"Yes! Isn't it cool?!" He reached for the one his mother was holding.

''It's great.'' She bent down to his level. Justin took the toy from her. "Look mom! It has big eyes too!" He grinned widely, excitedly.

''I can see it sweetie.''

"I love it, can I have it? Pleaaaaaaase please please?"

Addison looked at her husband for an answer.

"Will you put on a happy face then and stop pouting?" Derek bent down to their level.

''Yes!!''

"Will you promise to help daddy with something later?" Derek took the boys little hands in his.

''With what??''

"I'll tell you later okay?" Derek smiled and gave him a peck on the forehead.

''Why not now?''

"Patience sweetie." Derek gave him another kiss on the forehead.

''Can I have it then? Please, please, please??''

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." Derek shook his head with a smile on his face.

"Yay!!!"

Derek laughed and got up. "Good boy."

He was smiling widely.

"Are we done in this shop?" Derek asked his wife, giving her a sweet peck on the cheek.

''Yeah, I think we are.'' She smiled at him. ''Just out of curiosity though, what are you gonna make Jussie do?''

"Nothing." Derek gave her another kiss, this time on the lips. "You'll find out."

''Der, tell me.''

"You'll find out." He repeated and threw her his trademark smile. "Buggie, Jussie, let's go and pay for those toys."

''Derek.'' She said annoyed.

"It's a secret." He wrapped his arm around her middle.

''We don't have secrets for each other remember?''

"This is not a big secret and besides you'll like the secret." He gave her a wide smile.

''Then tell me Derek.''

"I hate you for making me tell everything." He pouted and then gave a kiss on her cheek again. "We'll go get you something nice."

''Me?'' She raised her eyebrow.

"Hmhmm." He nodded. She looked at him, waiting for him to tell.

"We're getting you something nice, and the way you're looking at me like is not going to make you tell me thought it's cute." He smiled as they walked towards the cash register.

''Derek seriously, tell me, I'm not in the mood for surprises.''

"I'll get you something nice, don't worry about it okay?" He brushed her side gently.

''Derek.''

"Fine I won't get anything then." He shrugged a bit.

''Fine.''

He gave her a light kiss on her hair before they reached the cash register. Addison got out her credit card. They paid for the toys and walked out of the shop.

''We need two potties.''

He nodded and they started looking for the right shop. "Do we need something else?"

''No.''

"Okay, good."

''Yeah.''

After some time they found a store and entered it. Addison looked around at the shelves. Derek let his gaze wonder.

''There.''

"Hmm yeah, which ones?"

''A pink and a blue one would be easiest.''

"Yeah true." He nodded and they looked at the potties for few moments before they decided to go with the blue and pink ones. Hailey screwed up her face.

"Do we have to potty train??"

''Yes you do.''

She pouted a bit. She gave her daughter a look. Hailey instantly looked down and stopped pouting.

They walked towards the cash register. This time Derek paid.

''Are we going home or what?''

"Or do you want to go and eat something? Or shop for some clothes maybe?"

''Why shop for clothes?''

"You were complaining about your clothes this morning."

''Oh.''

"Yeah so I just thought you maybe wanted some new ones." They walked out of the shop.

''I'm fine.''

"Okay. Well that's… good."

''Yeah.''

Sometime passed by and they found themselves from their apartment, Derek was playing in the living room with Justin.

''Hailey Bug, we're gonna take a bath.'' Addison told her daughter.

"Yeah?" She looked up at her mother with big eyes adoringly.

''Yeah.'' She gave her a smile, holding out her hand.

"Okay then!" Hailey got up and smoothed down her little summer dress before she took her mother's hand, a wide smile on her face. Addison picked her up and walked up the stairs with her.

"Can we have buuubbbleessss too?" Hailey pressured the word bubbles, she loved them really.

''Sure.''

"YAY!" She grinned widely. Addison smiled to herself, walking into the twins' room.

"Can we play with a duck or something?" The little girl asked again, looking around in the room.

''Yeah you can get the duckie.''

"Yay a duckie! Duck, duck, duck!" She said cheerfully as she was placed down on the floor. Addison walked over to the closet and got out underwear, a pair of pyjama's and a diaper.

"Can I get naked now?!" Hailey asked, sitting down on the carpet. Her mother rolled her eyes at her. ''You can in the bathroom.''

She pouted and crossed her arms. "Fine."

''Come.'' She walked into her own room.

The little girl got up from the floor and quickly ran after her mother with a wide smile on her face. Addison got underwear and pyjamas from her own closet.

"Now? Now?!" Hailey impatiently leaned against the doorframe, basically jumping up and down.

''Sweetie have some patience.'' Addison chuckled as they moved towards the bathroom.

"Fiiine." She pouted but ran towards the bathroom. They entered the bathroom and Addison laid their clothes down, starting to run the bath. Meanwhile Hailey started to get undressed, taking off her dress, leaving her only in her diaper. She made sure the temperature was right. Hailey managed to take off the diaper few moments later. Addison turned around and looked at her daughter, seeing that she was already undressed, she took the elastic band out of her daughter's hair.

"Is it ready?! Can I go?!" Hailey looked at her mother, shaking her head so that her loose curls bounced around.

''Yeah.'' Addison smiled, picking her up and carefully sitting her in the bath. Hailey smiled widely. "Bubbbleesss."

''I'll add them when it's full.'' Addison started to undress. Hailey nodded. "Will that be long? I want them now..."

''Just a minute sweetie.'' She took off her dress.

"A quick minute?" She splashed the water a bit.

''Yeah.'' She took off the rest of her clothes. Hailey looked at her mommy with big eyes. "Why don't I have boobies?"

''Eh... because you have to grow them.''

"How?" She tilted her head a bit, looking into her mother's eyes.

''You just do, when you're older.'' She got into the bath. Hailey pouted at her and started playing with the water, splashing it around, making waves.

''We have to wash your hair.''

"Not yeeeeeeet! It's not even dirty!" She hit the surface with her hand.

''Yes it is.''

"No it's not!"

''Yes Hailey, it is.''

"Fine then." The little girl was tired of arguing by now. Addison smiled at her.

"Can you do something with my hair when the bath is over?"

''What would you want with your hair?''

"I don't know, something pretty!"

''Well like what baby?''

"Something you like too!" She grinned.

''Shall I braid it then? Then you'll have little curls in the morning.''

"Okay! I bet I'd look preeetty." She smiled widely, playing with the water cheerily.

''You always look pretty.''

"Thank you mommy, you look pretty pretty too!"

''Aw thanks honey.''

She batted her eyelashes and ran her hand through her hair.

''Do you like it here honey?''

She nodded. "I like grandpa Caleb."

''That's good.''

"Yah, do you like it here then?"

''Of course, I grew up here.''

"Then why did you move to America?" Hailey asked, focusing on playing with the water.

''I went to school there and then I met your father.''

"Oh... how did you meet?" Her attention was on her mother again, she loved fairytales and stories.

''In high school.''

"Oh, did you go out on a... date?" She whispered the last word like it was exciting.

''Yeah we did.'' Addison smiled at the toddler.

"Where did you go?"

''We went to see a movie.''

She nodded, pleased with the answer. "Okay. When did you... kiss daddy for the first time?" She moved closer to her mother.

''On our second date.''

"Did you love daddy when you kissed him?"

''Yeah.'' Addison smiled. ''I always loved daddy.''

"Mommy loves daddy." She smiled widely and gave her mother a little hug. "What does love feel like?"

''I can't explain it, and you're way too young for that sweetie.''

"I am not! I'm almost three already!" She held up three fingers.

''I know sweetheart, your mommy's big girl.''

She grinned, feeling rather proud. "Yays."

Addison gave her a kiss. Hailey pecked her lips back, leaning her head against Addison's shoulder.

''I'm really glad you like it here, what would you like to do tomorrow?''

"Can we go to the outback like you said? If it isn't too hot.." She asked with a puppy-look.

''We'll see.''

"Okay." She smiled widely. Addison smiled back at her.

"Can we do something fun later today?"

''Like what?''

"I don't know… something fun together. Like... we could dress up for dinner!"

''We could do that.'' She smiled.

"Yay! I love pretty dresses!"

''You have a lot of dresses.''

"Yeah I could wear something that will make me look like a princess! And you can wear something nice and be the queen!"

''Aww.''

"Jussie can be a prince!"

''I don't think he'll want to.''

Hailey pouted sadly. "Why nooot?"

''Jussie doesn't really like to dress up.''

Hailey crossed her arms. "Would daddy dress up?"

''Eh no.''

"Boys are stupid."

Addison laughed. Hailey was still pouting. "They don't want to look pretty, why's that?"

''Well that's mostly a girl thing really.''

"Boys are weird, girl things are nice. They should like them too."

''Yeah well.''

"Why do you love daddy even if he won't dress up for you?"

''Because daddy is the love of my life.''

"What does that mean?"

''Hmm that you're meant to love that person.''

"Oh... so you will always love daddy?"

''Of course.''

Hailey smiled. "Do you think your souls are friends?"

''Yeah.'' She chuckled. Hailey grinned. "Very cool."

Addison laughed.

Hailey looked around the bathroom. "This house is preeeetty."

''It is isn't it?''

She nodded quickly. "Really pretty."

''Yeah.''

"I love this place." Hailey smiled widely.

''That's great, I love it too.'' Addison smiled softly.

"We could come here lots." She smiled again and hugged her mother a bit.

''Yeah when you and Jussie are a little older maybe.''

"When we're four?"

"Yeah, maybe"

"Okay!" She smiled again brightly.

''Let's wash your hair now missy.''

Hailey nodded and rubbed her face tiredly.

''Dip under.''

She dipped her head back so that her hair was in the water. Addison reached for the shampoo and held it upside down so the shampoo dripped onto her hand. The little girl kept his head tilted back, closing her eyes. Her mother started rubbing the shampoo in her long dark curls. Hailey let out a little giggle and opened her eyes for a moment, looking around in the bathroom. Addison placed a kiss on her wet cheek. Hailey laughed and placed one on her mother's lips. She smiled at her little girl. Just then a bit of shampoo made it's way down Hailey's forehead, soon reaching her eyebrow. Addison quickly wiped it away before it could get in her eye. ''Let's wash this off.''

"Okay mommy!" She tilted her head back again so that her hair was floating on the water. Addison carefully rinsed out all the shampoo out of her hair. Hailey smiled broadly once her mother was done. "Are you going to wash your hair too?" She asked, blinking her eyes.

''No I will in the morning honey.''

"Oh, okay then." She started playing with some bubbles.

''I think bath time is over.''

"Nooo not yet." Hailey pouted a bit but she knew this wouldn't affect anything.

''Yes, now.''

"Fine then." She was still pursing her lips together.

Addison got out of bath and wrapped a towel around her body. Hailey held up her arms, waiting for her mother to pick her up. Addison picked her up and wrapped her daughter in a fluffy towel. For a moment Hailey shivered from the cold but soon her skin was used to the temperature. She started to dry the girl. Hailey placed a kiss on her mother's cheek once she was dry.

''Are you tired sweetie?''

"A little." She had to admit it.

''Let's put you in bed then alright?'' She started putting her daughter's pyjama on.

Hailey nodded and tiredly helped her mother with dressing, lifting her arms when needed, lifting her little feet when she asked her to. After a minute or two she was dressed. ''Let's blow dry your hair a little.''

"Doesn't it make biiiiig noise?" Hailey asked with her eyes open.

''A little but you can't go to bed with soaking wet hair.''

"Fine then." She crossed her arms. Addison looked around where Derek had put the blow dryer. They soon spotted it and started drying the little girl's hair. After a few minutes it was dry. Hailey shook her head so that her hair danced on her back before the both of them walked out of the room and into the twins' room.

''Time for bed.''

"Yeah." She yawned a bit, stretching her little body. Addison pulled back the bedding. Hailey jumped into the bed and just simply curled up in a ball. She tucked the little girl in. She smiled at Addison, giving her a sweet peck on the lips. "Night mommy."

''Night my baby.''

After a while the little girl gave up and let her eyes fall closed. Addison placed a kiss on her lips. ''Sweet dreams baby.''

"You too mommy." She mumbled back, her breathing getting slower as she slowly fell asleep. She smiled and left the room. The little girl stayed asleep. Addison went downstairs. Justin was already half asleep on the couch and Derek had just finished putting away the toys. He kneeled next to the couch and softly brushed the little boy's hair, placing a kiss on his forehead.

''Hey.'' Addison said softly, smiling.

"Hi." He gave her a sweet smile and then carefully picked up Justin.

''You going to put him in bed?''

"Yeah, he's practically asleep." He said softly and pecked her lips as he got up.

''Okay, I'll be here.''

"Okay, I'll be right back then." Derek placed one more light kiss on his wife's cheek before he made his way out of the room and upstairs. She went to sit down on the couch.

Meanwhile Derek put Justin into bed, next to Hailey since this was a whole new place to both of them, he tucked them in safely and watched them sleep next to each other. Both were sleeping peacefully. He smiled, gave a little sigh and returned downstairs. Addison was d up on the couch. Derek smiled softly at the sight before he walked further into the room.

''Hmm hi.''

"Hi cutie." He slowly sat down next to her. She smiled at him. He smiled back at her and draped an arm around her. She cuddled up against him. He brushed her back gently, lovingly. "The twins are sleeping tightly, I put them next to each other."

'''That's good babe.''

"Yeah." He placed a kiss on her red hair.

''So...''

"Are you hungry or something?" He asked, trying to make a conversation.

''Not really, are you?''

"Nah." He shook his head.

''Kay then.''

"Do you want to do something?" He asked with a little shrug.

''Do what?''

"I don't know, something." He started playing with the ends of her hair that were slightly wet due to the shower.

''Well like what?''

"Do you have anything in mind?"

''Hmm we have a pool in the garden.''

"Ooh that might be fun." He nodded smiling.

''Hmm think so?''

"Yeah it sounds great." He grinned.

''Great.'' She smiled at him. He pecked her lips. "Let's go then."

''I'd have to change first.''

"Me too." He stretched a bit before he got up, offering her his hand. She took his hand and let him pull her up. He smiled widely and walked towards their room with her. In their room Addison started getting her bikini. Derek got his trunks and started changing. She took off her pyjama. Once he was dressed in his trunks he watched her change. She took off her pyjama pants so she was only dressed in a thong, something she started wearing more and more lately again. He bit on his lip lightly, his eyes once again this dark shade of blue, the colour usually changed with his moods. The dark eyes usually appeared when he wanted something, or on this case someone. She pulled her thong down and let it slide down her legs until it fell on the floor. His heartbeat became a bit faster as he watched the thong slid down her long smooth legs. She started to put her bottoms on.

"You look amazing." He managed to say.

''Hmm?'' She turned around.

"You look great." He gave a smile before he took ONE, not two, not two... okay, two looks at her breasts.

''Thanks.'' She blushed.

"No problem." He smiled softly before looking down. She put on her bikini top.

"Ready?" He asked and slowly draped his arms around her waist.

''Mhm.''

"Good." He pressed a light a kiss on her lips.

''I love you.''

"I love you more."

''No you don't.''

"Oh believe me I do, I love you more than it's even possible."

''Hmm let's go swimming baby.''

"Let's swim my love." He grinned softly and kept his other arm around her as they left the room.

They walked down to the pool. He had a little spark in the corner of his eye as he looked at the pool. Addison was looking at her husband's face. He looked at her before grinning.

''What?'' She asked smiling.

"Just reminded me of something." He kissed her on the lips, still a smile on his face.

''Of what?''

"One time at the pool, I carried you into the pool and the water was warm and it was all so nice."

''When was that?''

"I don't know, just like... five years ago, we weren't even engaged yet."

''Hmm that seems so long ago.''

"Yeah, it does." He nodded and led her closer to the pool.

''Go in.''

"Come with me." He grinned.

''You won't throw me in right?''

"What if I will?" He smiled and pulled her closer to him.

''Then you're in serious trouble.'' She warned.

"Uhuh? What will you do?" He kissed her on the lips.

''Be angry with you.''

"Aww I'm scared, I better not do it." He grinned.

''Don't you dare.''

"Just come." He took her hand into his and walked towards the steps that lead to the pool.

''You go first.''

He shook his head laughing as he set his foot on the first step.

''Is it cold?''

"Nope." He walked down the steps into the pool, smiling at her. "Come on... it's not cold, I promise."

She gave him a look. He grinned. "Come on. I promise I'll warm you."

She hesitantly took one step into the water. He laughed at her. "Is it cold?"

''A little yeah.''

"Aww honey." He shook his head laughing.

''You better warm me up.'' She floated in the water. He grinned and brought her close to him, his arms around her tightly. "Glad to."

She wrapped her arms around his neck. He pulled her close against his body. She lifted her legs up and wrapped them around his waist. He smiled at her, kissing her softly. She held onto him tightly as she kissed him back. He brought his hands under her butt, holding her so she wouldn't fall. Her hips were pressed up against his. He carried on kissing her, keeping her close to him. She ran her tongue over his lips. He willingly let her tongue enter his mouth, his tongue dancing with hers. She massaged his tongue.

"Hmm." He moaned into her mouth a bit, his hand running on her thigh. She ran one hand over his chest. He started massaging her thigh gently. She turned to move her lips to his neck. He tilted his head to the side, kissing her jaw. She started sucking on his neck. He moaned at the feeling of her lips on his neck, sucking the sensitive skin. Her fingers wandered over his stomach. He let his fingers play with the straps of her bikini top. She started placing kisses on his jaw. After a while he stole her lips back with his, kissing her passionately. She heatedly kissed him back.

He opened her top and caressed her back.

''Hmm what are you doing?''

"Nothing." He kissed her jaw lightly.

''Oh really?''

"Hmm not really." He mumbled against her jaw, starting to kiss on her neck.

''Too bad.''

"Do you want me to do something?" He whispered into her ear, starting to suck on the sensitive spot under it.

''Maybe.'' She let out a moan. He grinned. "And what would that be?" He carried on sucking the same spot.

''Hmm figure it out.''

"Uhuh?" He slowly ran his hands across her back, kissing down her neck.

''Hmmmm.''

He sucked on her collarbone, as he undid the another strap of her bikini so that it fell, revealing her breasts. She pushed her chest against his. He let out a little moan, bringing her a bit closer to him again. She rubbed her boobs against him. Derek started kissing her shoulder, slowly playing with the waistband of her bottoms, feeling his erection growing against her. She moved against the bulge in his trunks. He moaned against her skin, kissing her on the lips. She gave him a kiss back. He smiled at her before he fused his lips to hers, his eyes falling shut. She played with his trunks. He unwrapped her legs from around him so that he could completely pull off her bottoms which he did quickly, bringing her legs around his waist again. She reached down and took off his trunks. He carried on kissing her passionately as the trunks made their way down his legs. She ran her fingers through his hair. He slowly positioned her so that with one single move she'd be able to make him slide into her.

She pulled him closer, wanting him. He slowly slid into her, his tongue pushing against her lips. She let out a loud moan against his lips. He slid his tongue into her mouth, a series of moans escaping his lips. She moved her hips against his. Another moan made it's way from the back of his throat as his movement met hers.

''Oh.'' She moaned. "Addie." He moaned out her name, kissing her throat. ''Hmmmm.'' He started moving a bit faster. She tried to pull him even closer. They were as close as they could, their bodies moving as one. ''Can you move to the shore?'' She breathed. "I-- I think I can." He managed to say. She clenched her muscles around him. "That sure won't make it any easier." He gave a moan but started moving towards the shore. When they reached it, she leaned her elbows at the shore so she had more control. He started kissing her neck, sucking on the skin. She increased their pace. He moaned at her actions, his hand rubbing her thigh. Her eyes were closed. Low moans kept leaving his lips as they moved together. She felt herself slowly getting closer. He reunited his lips with hers as his mind became all clouded and all his thoughts had hard time staying together.

''Hmmm Derek.''

"Addie..." He mumbled against her lips as he kissed her softly, their movement bringing them closer to the edge. After a few thrusts she came, moaning his name over and over. His mind clouded and he felt like he was flying to cloud nine as his orgasm washed over him. Afterwards she was breathing heavily. His pulse was still rapid and his eyes were closed.

''Hmm thank you.''

"Hmm... no, no, thank you." He slowly let his eyes open. She smiled at him. He smiled back at her, dropping a kiss on her lips. "Warm enough?" He referred to her earlier statement about him keeping her warm.

''Definitely.''

"Great." He smiled again. She smiled back at him softly. He placed a kiss on her nose before he brushed some hair off her face.

''Hmm do you wanna go back inside?''

"Yeah... in a moment okay?" He kissed her on the lips, not sure if his legs would carry him yet.

''Okay.''

He made a smile, pecking her lips a few times. She pecked his lips back.

"I love you so much." Derek planted a kiss on her slightly swollen lips.

''I love you too.'' She whispered.

"Je t'aime." He smiled. She smiled back at him. He slowly brushed her sides with his fingers. "Hmm I think I'm ready to walk again."

''Hmm good.''

He smiled and slowly carefully pulled out of her, placing her back on her two feet, standing in the pool. She did the same.

"And where exactly are our swimming suits?" He looked around, there was no sign of them.

''I have no idea.''

"Well... me neither." Derek shook his head.

''Let's look tomorrow then.''

"Okay." He nodded a bit and gave her a short, but sweet kiss on the lips. She smiled at this.

"And of course we didn't bring towels..." Derek brushed her lower back gently.

''Mhm I know.''

He kissed her once again, not able to control it. She softly kissed him back. He tickled the soft skin on her back while his lips moved so easily in sync with hers. Her hands wandered over his back. A moment later his hands moved higher, toying with the curly ends of her hair once again. Her hands on the other side moved down, resting them on his butt. "Hmm." He moaned softly against her lips, pulling her closer. She slowly pushed her tongue into his mouth, giving his butt a squeeze. Another moan left his lips and he set his hands on her butt as well, holding her close to him, as close as possible. Her body was now pressed up against his. His tongue fought for the dominance with hers. She moaned into his mouth. He grinned against her lips, his heart beating faster with each kiss they shared. She chuckled when she felt his erection growing.

"Shut up." He mumbled against her lips, trying hard not to laugh as well.

''Seriously, you're not even letting me work for it.''

He shrugged a bit. "Can't help it really, you're way too sexy."

She grinned at him. ''Still, it seems like you get it up with anything.''

"Hey! You're sexy okay?" He pouted, caressing her bare butt.

''Sure, sure.''

He placed a little kiss on her lips. "So... it's your fault for being so damn hot."

''No, I mean, it's not like I'm complaining or anything but... you know.'' She looked at him.

"Talk to me." He still held her close, his thumb brushing on her lower back.

''About what?'' She looked into his eyes.

"I don't know actually, tell me." He gave a little smile.

''Tell you what Der?''

"Forget it okay?" He gave her a kiss, convincing it was all okay.

''Hmhmm.''

"Hmm good..." He smiled against her soft lips. She closed her eyes again. Slowly he let his hands move back to her butt. She softly kissed him again.

"Do you want to go inside?" He mumbled into the kiss.

''Yeah, sure.''

They got out of the pool and went into the house, both of them hoping no one had seen anything. They held hands as they walked in. He dropped a kiss on her shoulder, giving her hand a little squeeze. She smiled at his action. He looked around a bit, his fingers tangled with hers. ''What is it?''

"Hmm nothing, just thinking where to go."

''What do you mean?''

"I don't know really." He let out a little laugh, giving her a kiss.

''Hmmm you want to do it again don't you?''

"Hmmm maybe." Was it really that obvious? He gave her a little grin.

''Maybe?''

"Okay, yeah I want to do it again. Was it that obvious really?"

''Eh ya.'' She looked down at his body.

"Oh shut up." He smiled and gave her a kiss, bringing his hand to her cheek.

''Hmm why?''

"Because I'm telling you to." He mumbled against her lips.

''No.''

He pecked her lips.

''So?''

"Soooo?"

''What are we going to do?''

"Hmm what would you want to do?" He brushed her side softly.

''I asked you.''

"Umm we could watch TV or just go straight to bed if you want to."

''Hmm it's up to you.''

"Uh uh... wanna go to bed then?"

''Okay.''

He gave her a smile and they made their way to their room. She walked into the bathroom. Derek followed her just a moment later. She started to towel dry her body. He reached for a towel and began drying himself. She watched him. He gave her a smile, drying his abs. ''Hmmm.'' Addison grinned. He gave her a grin back, watching as water ran down her neck, dripping from a lonely stray of hair. When she finished drying her body she started towel drying her hair. He put the towel around his lower body, taking her face in his hands and pecked her lips before he softly helped her dry her hair. ''Hmm thanks.''

"No problem." He placed another kiss on her lips as he dried her hair. She watched him. He had this focused look on his face, his lips slightly pouted. She smiled at him again. He was too concentrated on what he was doing. She placed her hand on his chest. "Hmm?" He gave her a smile, looking down at her hand before his gaze wandered to her eyes. She looked into his eyes as she moved her hand. He placed his forehead against hers, looking deep into her eyes. ''Let's move to the bed.'' She whispered. He gave her a smile and nodded. "Okay." He whispered.


	33. Role playing, parenting and being 21

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 33 – Role playing, parenting and being 21_

She smiled smugly at him and walked towards the bed, grabbing his hand in the process. She let herself fall on the bed with him on top of her. He smiled down at her, then kissed her softly. She kissed him back, taking his hand in hers, moving it down her body. He grinned against her lips, starting to massage her thigh with slow movement. She moaned at his actions. He let the massaging get a little harder, but not too hard.

''Der.'' She whined.

"Hmhmm what is it Addie?" He asked, knowing very well what she meant.

''Go down on me.''

A smile spread over his face, giving her one more kiss on the lips before he started moving the kisses lower. She closed her eyes. He planted hot kisses on her breast as his other hand rubbed her hip. She let out a small moan. Nibbling the skin just lightly as he moved lower, placing a kiss on her stomach. She opened her eyes slightly, watching him. He gave her a smile, placing more and more kisses all over her hips, slowly parting her legs with his hand. She bit on her lip. He looked up at her, kissing her inner thigh softly.

''Derek.''

"Hmm?"

''Come on.''

He moved higher on her thigh, his hot breath tickling her skin, before he moved to his main target, running his tongue over her. She let out a loud moan at this. He smiled at the response, repeating his actions. ''Hmmmm.'' He massaged her other thigh, licking and kissing, letting his tongue move over her clit. ''More.'' She begged. "Hmm more?" He made the movement of his tongue slower intentionally. ''Hmmhmmm.'' He slowly slipped his tongue into her, watching her reaction. ''Oh god.'' He tried hard not to smile, moving his tongue in rhythm as his hands held her hips in place. She moved her hips up against him, moaning loudly. He had a hard time keeping her hips on the mattress as he did his magic. She felt her legs quiver. He pushed his tongue further into her, faster and more exploring. Her moans grew louder and louder. He carried on the movement, rubbing her hips in the same rhythm. ''Harder.'' He removed his tongue, giving some attention to her clit while he slid three fingers into her.

''Oh.''

"You okay?" He asked, sucking on her clit. ''Oh Derek.'' Was all she could moan out, feeling herself on the edge. He sucked harder and curled his fingers inside of her. She cried out his name, her body shook uncontrollably as she went over the edge. He carried on the movement as she rode off her orgasm, pulling his fingers back when she was done. ''Oh god.'' She was still out of breath. He kissed his way back to her lips, her stomach earning the most kisses. She smiled lazily at him. He smiled back at her softly, giving her a light kiss. Addison looked into her husband's bright blue eyes, before giving a sweet, yet sensual kiss.

"I love you honey." He said lovingly, his blue eyes meeting her green ones.

''I love you too baby.''

He smiled at her response, softly brushing her hair. She softly stroked his back. He gave her a smile, wanting nothing more than give her a kiss. She hugged him. He held her tightly, placing a light kiss on her neck.

''You wore me out.'' She whispered against his shoulder.

"Aww, then guess I knew my stuff." He smiled softly against her skin.

''Hmm you always do.''

"Hmm... that's good." He grinned.

''Do you mind though... if we don't do it again right now?''

"I'm alright with that honey, it's been a long, tiring day really."

''Sorry.'' She gave him an apologetic smile.

"You don't have to be sorry, okay?" He moved off of her, turning his head to the side so that he was looking at her.

''Still, it isn't really fair.''

"Yeah well..." He gave her a little grin.

''Well what?''

"My turn will come." He placed a kiss on her lips.

''Okay, well, still sorry.''

"Yeah it's okay so don't worry about it." He gave a little kiss on her lips.

''Thanks.'' She smiled and gave his lips a peck back. He brushed her side softly and pulled her closer.

''I love you Derek.''

"I love you too." He whispered back.

''Hey babe?''

"Yeah?"

''Do you think I was wrong today, with the thing with my parents?'' She looked into his eyes, wanting an honest answer.

"Well... it's complicated between you and your mother. She went overboard, she shouldn't have said those things. But your dad... he didn't do anything wrong really. But you know what? I feel a little proud of you now, for standing up for yourself." He looked back into her eyes, holding her loosely.

''Really?'' She was surprised.

"Yeah, at least you put an end to those things."

''Oh.''

He gave her a kiss, placing his forehead against hers. "What do you think then?"

''I don't know... I just felt like I couldn't take it no more and there was a reason why I flipped out on my father.''

"Want to tell me about it?" He nodded when she stopped talking.

''Yeah it's just...'' She took a deep breath. ''He never... he never did-'' She stopped and suddenly started to sob.

"Aww honey." First thing he felt was worry, a moment later followed curiosity. He wanted to know what was wrong but right now, he needed to focus on her. "Shh... it's okay babe." He brushed her back, pulling her even closer.

''He never. stopped her.'' She cried out.

"I'm sorry for that honey, so sorry..." He whispered, kissing the top of her head multiple times, bringing her to sob against his chest. She continued to cry, clinging onto him.

"Just breathe... keep breathing okay?" He leaned his head against the top of her head. She tried to wrap her arms around him, needing him against her. He helped her, bringing her arms around him tightly before he draped his arms around her carefully, afraid he'd break her. She almost squeezed her arms around him.

"Sh... baby it'll get better."

''Help me.'' Addison sobbed hopelessly against his chest.

"I... how can I do that? I don't know what to do really..." He whispered, his voice slightly muffled by her hair. She continued to cry.

"Sh..." He carried on stroking her back with gentle movement and kissed her forehead. "It'll be alright."

''How?''

"I don't know, I just know it will."

She clung onto him. He held her close to his chest, hoping that there would be a way to make her feel better, about this situation and more importantly about herself. She closed her eyes, trying to calm down.

"Baby... everything's alright now..." He spoke softly.

''No.'' She said but calmed down a little.

"Good... just like that." He mumbled against her hair.

After a few seconds she was calmed down but her breathing was still shaky.

"We need you to focus on your breathing now, okay? Slow deep breaths..." He brushed her hair. She did what he said.

"Good... that's great." He nodded, listening to her breathing. She listened to his heartbeat, it always calmed her down. There was a long quiet moment, neither of them said anything. They just kept breathing together.

''Thank you.'' She whispered.

"I love you, I'd do anything for you." He replied, giving her a small hug.

''I love you too.''

He kissed her on the forehead, comforting her. She kept hugging him close.

"Feeling any better?"

She shrugged. He made a little sad smile. "Just know that I'm here for you."

''I know.''

"Good." He nodded, brushing away some of her tears that had already began to dry.

''Don't let go of me.''

Derek wrapped his arms around her once again. "I won't, I promise."

''Ever?''

"Never ever."

''Good.''

"Yeah, it is good." He whispered and held her tightly.

''I love you so much.''

"I love you too, more than you can imagine."

Derek whispered few comforting words to her with a gentle tone and then let himself relax a bit, still holding her.

''Can I lie on top of you?'' She asked quietly.

"Yeah." He nodded his head and moved her so that she was placed on top of him. She settled on top of him.

"Are you okay there?" He moved underneath her slightly so that he too, was comfortable.

''Yeah.''

"Good, good..." He whispered, stroking her back.

''Are you?''

"Yeah, I'm good right here baby." He smiled.

''Okay.'' Her arms were still around him.

He kissed her cheek softly and pulled up the covers slowly. She gave him a soft kiss. He kissed her back lightly, his arms around her tiny body once again. She continued to kiss him. His lips moved with hers as his eyes fell closed. She ran her tongue over his lips. He parted his lips, allowing her tongue to enter. She started to massage his tongue. A little moan escaped his lips as his tongue moved against hers. They moved their tongues in circles. More little moans left his lips as they kissed. She held him close. He pulled back from the kiss a moment later, taking in some oxygen. She looked at him. He smiled at her, kissing her again softly. She closed her eyes. His eyes closed slowly as they kissed once again. Her hands rested on each side of his face. He let his other hand move on her back, slowly brushing it. Their kiss was soft and tender. They both caressed each other lovingly while their lips made love. After a few seconds she pulled back. He pecked her lips softly and opened his eyes. She gave him a small smile. Derek smiled back at her, bringing his other hand to brush her cheek. She looked into his eyes.

"You sleepy?" He whispered, brushing a stray of eye behind her ear.

''A little. You?''

"Slightly." He nodded, pressing a light kiss on her lips.

''Let's sleep then.''

"Hmm okay, you wanna sleep there?¨

''Where?''

"On top of me, duh?" He pecked her lips.

''I do, if you're okay with that.''

"Of course, you can sleep there anytime." He nodded.

''Hmmm.''

"Sweet dreams Addles."

''Sleep tight Derrie.''

"Thanks AddslesBee." He mumbled with a smile on his face. She smiled, closing her eyes as her head rested on his chest. ''DerrieDarling.''

"Addie...Paddie? Maddie? AddieSugarBunnySweetie?" He suggested, closing his eyes.

''Hmm shut up.''

"Hmm no you shut up." He smiled.

''No.''

"Hmm fine, I like your voice anyway."

''Oh really?''

"Yeah." He nodded his head.

She moved her lips to his ear. ''How much?'' She asked huskily.

"Hmmm very, very much. Especially like that." A grin spread on his face so that he was basically grinning from ear to ear.

''Oh yeah?'' She started kissing his ear as she blew hot air into it.

"Hmhmmm yes..." He bit on his lip as a small moan escaped his tightly shut lips, trying hard to focus. She started to nibble on his bottom lip.

"You know what you're doing to me right...?" He mumbled before capturing her lips with his.

''Hmm tell me.'' She pulled her face back.

"You're making me all hot and frustrated and good and all that..." He tried to kiss her again.

''Yeah?''

"Hmm yes." He kissed her.

''Explain.'' She pulled back again.

"Noo I'm not going to explain, it just happens." He mumbled.

''No, explain.''

"All those kisses... they just make me so... happy and high and all that. Your little movements, your breath against my skin..." He shrugged. She grinned at him.

"What?" He gave her a grin back.

''Hmm let's make a deal.''

"What deal?" He kissed her softly on the lips once more.

''If you won't let me work for this.'' She moved her hips against his. ''I will let you work for this.'' She mentioned to her body.

"Hmhmmm?" He slowly brushed her back.

''And in return for that, we can have sex every day.''

"YAY!" He couldn't control himself as he grinned widely.

''Hmmm so we agree?''

"Hmm I guess." He gave her a smile.

''Don't forget you'll have to work for it.''

He pouted. "Okay work on it how exactly?"

''Work to earn it.''

"Hmm okay." He drew circles on her back.

''So jumping me whenever you're hard won't work anymore.''

He shrugged before giving her a little smile. He didn't like this new rule. "Okay then."

''Okay?''

"Fine." He pouted

''Well yes or no? Because if you'd rather do that and have less sex, fine by me.''

"No, no, no, I like the second opinion more." He kissed her on the lips quickly.

''Which?''

"The new one." He placed another kiss on her lips.

''Good.''

"Hmm yes." He let his hands go a bit lower, onto her butt to be exact, just resting them there.

''Feeling like working right now baby?''

"Hmhmm." He gave her a grin.

''Hmmmm great.''

"Uhuh…" He smiled, kissing her softly. She tenderly kissed him back. He slowly let the kiss grew into a more passionate one. Her hand roamed his chest. His tongue parted her lips, entering her mouth. A small moan left her lips as their tongues duelled. His eyes were shut tightly, just enjoying the kiss he hoped would last forever. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He carried on kissing her, letting his hand move across her back. She ran her fingers through his soft black curls. His fingers ran on her back lightly, adoring the soft, smooth skin. She then moved her hands to his cheeks. He didn't want to break the kiss, not even for a moment. After a few seconds though she pulled back. He took a breath, looking into her eyes.

She looked back into his. He smiled, pouting his lips quickly as a sign for her to kiss him, again. She gave him another soft kiss, continuing to look into his eyes. He looked back into hers deeply, their gazes locked, both of them blinking rarely. She kept kissing him as they gazed into each others eyes. He brought his hand to her face, brushing away the stray of hair that always seemed to be in the way. She smiled into the kiss. He smiled as well, softly carrying on kissing her.

She sat in his lap. He stroked her thigh gently as they kissed. She kept looking into his eyes. His hand reached for hers, linking their fingers while they kissed so easily, naturally, like it was what they were born to do. She put his hands above his head. He smiled against her lips softly. She pushed him back against the bed. He carried on kissing her, not struggling against her when she had all the control. She tightened the grip on his hands, kissing him harder as she moved her hips against his. He moaned against her lips lightly, kissing her back just as hard. She forced her tongue into his mouth. His tongue massaged hers powerfully as his eyes fell shut. She continued to force his hands on the mattress. He was somewhat sure there were going to be red marks in the morning but he really didn't care. They kissed roughly. She then suddenly pulled back from their kiss. He opened his eyes and looked up at her. She looked back at him.

"What?" He asked in a slightly hoarse voice, a smile tugging at his lips. She moved her face about two inches above his. ''Did I allow you to talk?''

A grin spread over his face. "I'm so sorry, please forgive me."

''Why should I?''

"I'm so sorry, please." He looked up at her.

''Please what?''

"Forgive me." He so badly wanted to kiss her.

''It's 'forgive me ma'am' for you.''

"Forgive me ma'am, I'm sorry." He whispered, his lips so close to hers.

''Hmm.''

"Please ma'am... I didn't mean it."

''I think you need to be punished.''

"Oh you think so ma'am?" He spoke, his lips lusting after hers.

''Yes I do.''

"Hmmm... what are you thinking?" He shifted underneath her.

''None of your business sir.''

"Okay ma'am." He nodded, biting on his lip the slightest bit. She dared him to do something.

A moment later he kissed her, his lips crushing against hers. She pulled back and slapped his cheek. He winched slightly, but took it like a man. "I'm sorry ma'am."

''Now that was very bad.''

You like it like that, he bit back his reply, instead he just apologized again. She pushed him harder against the bed. He tried hard not to grin. "Ma'am, may I ask what you're going to do to me, I indeed was very, very bad."

''No, you have no permission to ask that.''

"Okay, I'm sorry ma'am."

''You better be.''

"I am, I regret it." His cheek felt a bit warm from the slap.

''Good.''

He waited for her next move.

''And you seem to be enjoying this Mr. Shepherd.''

"I might be, Mrs. Shepherd."

''Again, that's very bad.''

"I might be a bad guy."

''I would have to punish you for that.''

"It's not up to me ma'am."

''Hmm what punishment would help according to you?''

"I'm not exactly sure ma'am." His other hand tried to escape.

''Well?''

He managed to free his hand. "I don't know ma'am."

She slapped his cheek again. He winched again slightly.

''Now I warned you.''

"Yes ma'am, I'm very sorry."

She looked into his eyes, warning him with them. He looked back into hers, his eyes once again had turned to the dark shade of blue. She removed her hands from his, pushing them against his chest. He watched her the entire time.

''Now this isn't really working is it?''

"What isn't?" He looked up at her, straight into her eyes. He forgot the ma'am part. She slapped his face again. He bit on his lip before he looked back at her. "I'm sorry, ma'am. What doesn't work, ma'am?"

''You're not working.''

"I'm not working?" He asked, studying her eyes with his.

''You're not.''

"How am I not working ma'am?" His hand moved closer to her thigh.

''You're not doing anything.''

"You had my hands down on the mattress." His hand was so close to her thigh, almost touching it.

''And now they're not.''

"Yeah, exactly." Finally his hand reached her thigh, touching it, moving up and down. She looked into his eyes.

Suddenly he rolled them over so that he was on top of her. She raised her eyebrow at him. He grinned, kissing her on the lips. She kissed him back. They kissed for several moments before he pulled back, looking at her with a spark in his eye. "Mrs. Shepherd, how are you feeling now?" He said in the most doctor-alike voice he knew.

''What?'' She laughed.

"I'm Dr. Shepherd." He gave her a grin.

''Ahh Dr. Shepherd, right.''

"So Mrs. Shepherd, how are you feeling today?" He studied her eyes.

''Oh very ill.'' She faked a cough.

"Oh yes? I should examine that." He faked a bit surprised. She nodded pouting. He smiled at her, giving a kiss on her neck. "I should listen to your chest sounds but unfortunately, I left my stethoscope to the office."

''Oh you'll have to find some other way then.''

"Hmm I think I have an idea." He kissed her neck softly, the trail of kisses ended to her chest area and he looked at her.

''Hmm Dr. Shepherd.''

"Yes Mrs. Shepherd?" He kissed the little valley between her breasts.

''I don't know if this appropriate.''

"Mrs. Shepherd, I can assure this is hundred percent professional." He slowly placed his head onto her other breast. "Take a deep breath."

She did as he said, moaning in the meantime.

"Very good... do that again." Both of them please, he added in his mind. His hot breath tickled the sensitive skin. And as he hoped, she did both.

"Good... good... well the problem is not your lungs, or your heart. We have to examine a bit more Mrs. Shepherd."

''Hmm yeah, definitely.''

"Yes, exactly. This might be a bit of stomach flu. Have you had any nausea recently?" He let his other hand move up her thigh.

''Yeah, you should really check.''

He slowly brought his other hand to her stomach, while he moved his kisses lower, his hand brushing her stomach very gently.

''Oh it hurts.'' She feigned pain. ''Lower.''

"Here?" He moved his hand just an inch, teasingly.

''Hmm lower.''

He grinned softly, while moving to kiss her stomach, slowly and softly as his hand moved between her legs. "Here?" He whispered huskily.

''Yeah.'' She let out a loud moan.

"I know this treatment, it'll relax you and your muscles. Would you be willing, Mrs. Shepherd?" He moved his hand slightly.

''Oh yeah.'' She nodded her head quickly.

"Are you sure? We'd need to sign some papers." He still didn't want to give her the full pleasure, parting her legs with his hand.

''Can't we afterwards?'' She breathed out.

"I think I can make an exception for you." He grinned, parting her legs a bit further.

''Hmm good.''

He let his hand move on her thigh, his kisses hitting her skin over and over again, lowering and lowering. Her breathing quickened.

"Are you really, really, really sure?" He said in the same doctor-ish voice before grinning.

''Oh yeah.''

"Good, good..." He inched his face closer, breathing so that she felt his breath before he licked her slowly.

''Oh god.'' She moaned out loudly.

"Wow... Mrs. Shepherd." He faked shocked, repeating his actions multiple times.

''Ohh.'' She let out a series of moans, her hips wriggling beneath him. He placed his hands on her hips, keeping them in place, his tongue travelling over her clit slowly. She gripped the pillows, her hips still several inches off the bed. He pushed them to the bed, slowly pushing two fingers into her while sucking on her clit lightly., watching her reaction to all this.

''Oh my god Derek!''

He started moving his fingers once he was sure she was ready. She felt herself loose control over her body. His other hand tried to keep her in place as his other one carried on the movement, slowly curling his fingers inside of her.

''Derek.''

"Yeah?" He asked, carrying on the movement though he lifted his head just to tease her. She pushed his head back down again. He grinned. "Mrs. Shepherd..." He made a clicking sound with his tongue before continuing what he was doing. She moved her legs around. He couldn't help but smile at her reaction, curling his fingers so that he hit a sensitive spot. She moaned out his name loudly, not able to take any more as she came hard. He showered her thigh with kisses as he waited for her to come down from her high.

''Derek...'' She managed to breathe out.

"You alright?" He kissed up her body, the few last kisses were placed on her neck.

''God yes, I am.''

"Hmm great." He grinned, brushing some hair off her slightly sweaty forehead.

''That was amazing.'' She smiled lazily at him.

"Hmm good that you liked it." He grinned again and brushed her cheek.

''I definitely did, it was great, even better than the time before.''

"Oh yeah?" He let out a laugh, giving her a little peck on the lips.

''Hmm yes.'' She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Hmmm I love you." He smiled broadly back at her, brushing her hip with his other hand.

''I love you too babe.''

"Hmm great." He slowly moved his hand on her side.

''Hmm I bet it's your turn now right?''

"Hmmm would you?" He kissed her on the lips softly.

''Would I what?''

"Would you want to do it then? I'd want you to." He shrugged a bit.

''To what Der?''

"Would you blow me?"

''If you ask me to.''

"I am." He gave her a smile.

''Flip over then.''

He flipped them over a moment later, giving her a kiss on the lips. She gave him a kiss back, moving down. He shifted a bit so that he was comfortable.

''Good like that baby?''

"Yeah." He nodded with a smile.

''Okay then.'' She smiled as well, starting with stroking him. He let out a little moan, biting on his lip.

''Like that?''

Once again he nodded, another moan leaving his lips as he began to answer. "Very much."

''Tell me what you want me to do to you babe.''

"I want you to... blow me, I just... I want you to do it." He just loved when she did her stuff, she knew what to do. She started to kiss up and down his length. Another moan left his lips, trying to keep himself still, getting even harder. She smiled at this, watching him. His eyes fell closed, needing more. She kissing up, taking his tip into her mouth. He moved his hips off the bed just the slightest bit, a loud moan leaving his lips. She circled her tongue around him.

"Oh my god..." He moaned, biting on his lip, hoping he wasn't too loud. She continued to make a swirling move with her tongue as she moved her mouth down. He tried to keep his hips still, somehow managing. "Oh dear god!"

She started with slowly sucking on him. His back arched and more moans left his lips. She moved her head in a slow pace. A few seconds later he grabbed the sheets, his hips moving a bit upwards, even more vocal than usually. Her boobs rested on his thighs as she continued to pleasure him. "Addie..." He moaned, shifting underneath her, he could feel his breathing getting faster and faster. She used her hand as she started to suck on him again. His body started sweating as his mind became unclear and his thoughts seemed to disappear. She quickened the pace. "Oh Addie." He moaned, so close to his release. She cupped his balls with her free hand. Just a few moves later he almost yelled out her name as he went over the edge. She continued until he was finished. His breathing was still heavy and he was holding the sheets tightly. "Oh my god.."

''Hmm.'' She kissed over his stomach.

"Wow..." He managed to mumble, slowly opening his eyes.

''Liked that baby?''

"Very, very much, thank you, thank you." He whispered, pulling her closer.

''Hmm you're welcome.'' She went to lie on his chest.

"I love you." He told her lovingly, his breathing finally back to normal.

''I love you too.'' She kissed his jaw. He smiled at this, kissing her ear lightly. "Hmm."

''Are you tired?''

"Hmm a little, are you?"

''How tired exactly?''

"Not too much, you?"

''I'm not tired at all, yet.''

He grinned at her. "Now thinking... neither am I."

''Hmm I need someone to tire me out...''

"Yeah I wonder who could do that..." He grinned before kissing her jaw.

''Yeah me too, maybe I should go out, look for someone...''

"Yeah maybe you should..." He let his hand move from her back even lower, caressing her butt, ending up on the back of her thigh.

''Hmm I should go then.''

"Hmm or not." He softly rubbed her thigh.

''No?''

"Hmm no, I can tire people too." He kissed her neck lightly.

''Oh I wouldn't want to bother you.''

"Nah... I'm alright with that." He smelled her scent as he kissed behind her ear, smiling and that was probably heard in his voice too.

''And how would you tire me out then?''

"Ah, I have my ways baby." He grinned at her.

''Hmm tell me honey.''

"Hmm first, I'll flip us over." And so he did, brushing the hair off her face once again.

''Alright.''

"And then... I'll kiss a bit here, here, here..." He kissed her neck and then her collarbone, and the last but definitely not least, lips. She smiled and kissed him back. A smile tugged at his lips as they kissed and he slowly linked his hand with hers. She softly kissed him, wrapping both her legs around him. He gave her hand a light squeeze and held her closely while their lips moved in sync with each other's. She wrapped her other arm around his neck. "Hmm..." He moaned lightly into the kiss and played with her fingers.

''Cold.'' She whined into the kiss. He laughed softly against her lips. "Seriously?"

''Yes!''

He let go of her hand for a moment and pulled a warm blanket over them, giving her a little peck on the lips. "Any better?"

''Hmhmm thanks.''

"Hmmm you're very welcome." He smiled brightly at her. She looked into his eyes. He looked back into hers before kissing her again, tenderly. She softly kissed him back. His eyes closed after a second, keeping the kiss sweet. She kept him close. After a while he brushed her leg with his hand. She pulled back from the kiss for oxygen. He smiled at her, taking deep breaths. She moved her other arm around his neck as well, gazing into his eyes. He looked back into hers, his other hand supporting him so that he wouldn't crush her. With one hand she pulled up the blankets higher, since she had started to loose weight she always seemed to be cold. He kissed her lightly, gently brushing her side with his other hand. She closed her eyes, burying her head in his neck as she placed a small kiss on his shoulder. A little kiss hit her neck, he kept her close, he was still afraid he'd break her or something.

''Hold me closer.'' She whispered. He smiled and nodded, holding her a bit closer, as close as he could without crushing her under him. ''Closer.'' He kissed her shoulder lightly, holding her closer and closer.

''Just rest your weight on me.''

"But what if I hurt you?" He asked honestly.

''You won't hurt me, you're not that heavy.''

"Are you sure? You're very little Addie." He rested on top of her, a bit unsure.

''I'm 5'10'' Derek.''

"You don't weight much, I'm just afraid I'd do something, I don't want anything to happen to you okay?"

She sighed loudly. Derek placed a little kiss on her hair. "I'm sorry, we shouldn't be talking about it here. I'm just worried okay?"

''Don't be.''

"Are you absolutely sure?"

''Derek, shut up, please.''

"Sorry okay?" He relaxed a little bit.

''I'm serious Derek.''

"I know, I'm sorry alright?" He nodded.

''You shouldn't be.''

He shrugged a bit, he was now laying on top of her, just like she had wished. He hadn't even realised it had happened.

''Let's just go sleep.''

"Yeah that'd probably be the best." He nodded.

''Okay.''

"Yeah..." He said softly, pulling back slightly so that he saw her face.

''Can you give me your dress-shirt?''

He nodded, pressing a little kiss on her forehead. "Okay, I'll get one."

''Give me the one you wore today.''

"Hmm yeah wait." He slowly pulled back, her legs leaving his waist. He got up from the bed and took the shirt she had wished for. She watched him. After a while he returned and moved onto the bed, right next to her. She made room for him. "Sit up." He ordered with a little smile on his face, sitting up as well. She did what her husband ordered her to. He put the shirt on her, starting to button it. She smiled at him as he did that. He once again had this focused, slightly pouting face on. She studied his face. A few seconds later he was done and lifted his gaze to her face. She gave him a sparkling smile. He gave her one back and pecked her lips quickly.

''I love you.''

"I love you too, so much." He kissed her lips lightly again.

''Hey Der?''

"Yeah baby?" He looked into her eyes.

''Do you eh... ever regret, being a dad this young? And please, be honest.''

"I could never regret having Bug and Jussie. I know it hasn't been the easiest road but... no I don't regret them. I know it wasn't planned or anything but I still don't regret this." He didn't regret the kids, of course the timing wasn't perfect.

''I don't mean regret them but...just the entire thing, would you rather have been a father a few years later?''

"Yeah maybe... after med school you know?" He said honestly. "What do you think?"

''Yeah, me too.''

"But we're doing okay, right?"

''I really don't know.''

He sighed. "Me neither sometimes."

''It's just hard you know, you never know whether you're being a good parent or not.''

"Yeah, exactly. We're still so young, though you claim I have grey hair." He added, giving her a little sloppy kiss on her cheek. "It's hard sometimes."

''Yeah, it is hard and even though it's been almost three years already, I still think it's weird to be called a mommy, and to hear those two little kids call you daddy, knowing they're ours.''

"Yeah?" He pulled her in for a hug. "It's... weird sometimes. At school I sometimes compare myself to the others and realise no one, I repeat, no one has kids, no one is nowhere near marriage. I just... it shocks me."

''Why does that shock you?''

"I don't know, it just does. I'm the only one with a family of his own." He said, shrugging a little bit.

''Yeah...''

"But it's okay, they're missing out on something." He made a little smile.

''Maybe.''

"I think they are." He gave her a smile.

''They will experience that all later.''

"Yeah, they will at some point." He nodded, slowly brushing her back.

''And we're already having another baby...''

"Yeah, our third baby..." He couldn't help but smile at the idea. "... but it'll be hard. Three kids under the age of four."

''Yeah...don't you think it's weird though, being called daddy?''

"A little, sometimes." He confessed with a nod.

''Yeah?''

"Yeah, what about you?" His arm wrapped around her waist, landing on her still flat stomach.

''Eh ya being called a daddy would be weird to me.'' She joked. He laughed softly, nudging her lightly. "You know what I meant woman." He stroked her stomach with his thumb.

''Hmm.'' She subtly tried to push his hand away. He placed his back on the mattress. "You think it's weird being called mommy?" He tried not to care about her pushing his hand away.

''Yeah, I do.''

He made a little sad smile. "How?"

''Sometimes I just don't feel like a mommy, then it feels weird to be called mommy.''

He nodded at the answer. "Reasonable. But Addie, you're a great mommy."

''I sure hope so...''

"Don't doubt it, you shouldn't."

''You shouldn't either.''

"I try my best." He nodded at her.

''I just...sometimes I feel like I'm not ready for another child.''

"Really?" He gave a little sigh, not looking at her this time.

''Yeah...''

"Oh..." He shook his head before nodding, confused.

''I just... I'm 23, sometimes I want to do things a 23 year old does.''

"What does a 23 year old do?" Yeah, neither of them really knew.

''Have fun, hang out, party, drink, that kinda stuff I guess.''

"Yeah well those things are mostly for SINGLES. And as far as I know and the last time I checked you were married to me but sure go hang out with someone if you want to. I can't say no."

''When I hang out with guys you get angry at me for no reason.''

"Because they're guys! Addison you have to understand that, they are checking you out, I know they are. And you're mine as possessive as it might sound so yeah I'm not very happy with it."

''They are not checking me out.''

"Sure think whatever you want. They're totally checking you out."

''I'm married and have two children, why would they even want to check me out?''

"Because you have nice boobs and a good ass, that's all guys care about. So yeah, your boobs are mine, only mine, only I'll be the one seeing them. You're butt, mine, Only I'm allowed to look at it. Just please try to understand."

''Erhm first of all, my boobs are mine, my butt is mine, neither of them are yours.''

"So you'd think but no, they're mine. They might be attached to your body but believe me, those boobs are my property."

''My boobs are not your property, for god's sake, Derek!''

"Fine then! But it's not very nice if other people watch them you know? You're my wife and there are rules! Okay yeah maybe I'm the jealous type! I don't care honestly, I don't want other people looking at your boobs. It's like... it's like I'd walk around without shirt and hang out with girls."

''I'm never shirtless around other guys!''

"Yeah well but they still stare at your boobs!"

''They do not!''

"They totally do! Addison you know what? Fine. I'm giving up on the whole jealousy thing, go hang out with guys." He really didn't want her around those guys but fighting wasn't going to be the best opinion. She sighed loudly at him.

"Oh don't you sigh there. You'd do exactly the same if I started hanging out with girls."

''No I would not, and it's not like I'm lying here telling you your penis is my property.''

"God Addison, that's completely different. So you wouldn't mind if I hung out with the girls at school when you're not around."

''Why not?''

"Fine Addison, don't listen to me, go hang out with the guys if you want to! I'll just stay home with the kids while other people are checking out your body, sure. Let's do that then." He lifted his hands in the air.

''God, you are acting like I'm some kind of slut!''

"I haven't said so! I just think you're attractive and amazing and I don't want you to get into any trouble! I'm jealous Addison!"

''Why?''

"Because you're my wife who I love more than anything! You're sexy and beautiful! I'd hit on you if I saw you at a bar! So yeah I don't want other men to do that too."

''They won't, and if they do, you got nothing to worry about because then I wouldn't go in with that.''

"Well good, but still, you look sexy and people will look at you."

''So?''

"So... I can't explain, I just don't like other people's eyes on you."

''You have no reason to be jealous.''

"Really? You're an attractive woman, you look amazing, I know you wouldn't probably do anything with the guys but still, it bothers me."

''Why?''

"Because... I'm a jealous guy Addie, and you're the one I'm in love with. It just does, it shouldn't bother me this much but sometimes it just does."

''That doesn't mean I have to care about that.''

"Fine then don't."

''Don't worry, I don't'.''

"Good for you." He laid onto his back, pulling up the covers.

''You're such an asshole.'' She said honest.

"I am not. You're the one who wants to do stuff single people do. I don't care really. Fine go out and have fun."

''It is not stuff that single people do.''

"It kinda is Addison. I just don't want other people staring at your body and checking you out."

''I don't wanna do those things for that!''

"Fine! What do you want to do it for then?"

''To have fun, to act my age and not as some forty year old.''

"Go out then, have fun. God Addison go out then. You could have just said a bit earlier."

''I can hear from the tone of your voice that you're angry at me for this.''

"Yes I am." He admitted.

''Why?''

"Because you're my wife and normally they don't want to go out and get drunk and be checked out by other people!"

''Who normally doesn't? A wife?''

"Yes! You're a mother Addison! You're my wife! And now you want to go out and party?"

''I'm 23! Two years ago I wasn't even allowed to legally drink!''

"Then go out and party! I can't forbid you from that!"

''No you're right, you can't!''

"I KNOW I CAN'T!"

''Good, and you should realize that you're lucky! No other girl would've been as stupid as me to marry you at 19!''

His jaw dropped. "That's it! Addison I can still take the personal ones but that one crossed the line!"

''And why?''

"Because our marriage is something I don't regret one bit! I might regret my behaviour but our marriage? NEVER."

She didn't respond to him.

"We should just sleep." He rubbed his forehead, how did this get so fucked up again.

''Whatever.''

Fuck her, he thought before shaking his head.

''You're such an asshole.'' She repeated her previous statement.

"Whatever." He replied, trying to block all the things she had said out of his mind. She turned to her side, taking the blankets with her. He rolled onto his other side so that there was a space between their backs. She hogged all the blankets.


	34. Fighting, Family and Fathers

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 34 – fighting, family and fathers_

He got up from the bed, mumbling something about pyjamas. She snorted at him.

He threw her a look as he walked to the closet. She let out a cynical laugh.

"Addison, would you shut up?" He said in a cold way, grabbing his pyjama bottoms.

''I wasn't saying anything, Derek.''

"You were laughing and snorting." He pulled on the pyjama pants.

''Can't help but laugh at your stupidity."

"Okay, go ahead, tell me how stupid I am." He turned around so that he was looking at her.

''Oh please, if I would have to do that I'll need an entire day."

He snorted at her answer. "Wow that was low Addison."

''At least it was the truth.''

"God Addison, would you fucking shut up?"

''No I won't!''

"WHY DO YOU NEED TO START FIGHTING AGAIN?"

''Because I made the huge stupid mistake to fucking marry you!''

His eyes widened. "OH FUCK YOU REALLY!" He quickly grabbed a shirt from the closet. "JUST SIMPLY, FUCK YOU."

''Ha, not by you.''

He gasped. "Whatever Addison, that's low. Really, really low." He pulled on the shirt, his forehead aching painfully.

''No you ARE low.''

"How am I low?"

''Figure that one out Derek.''

He sighed at her, shaking his head as he bit on the inside of his cheek.

''Seriously, you're such an egocentric asshole.''

"Addison, take a look in the mirror. You're not perfect either. You panic at the frigging smallest thing ever!"

''What smallest thing ever?''

"EVERYTHING! And you really should eat something! I mean my god you're pregnant and still eat like you are a supermodel!"

''You have nothing to do with my eating pattern!''

"STILL! It's not healthy! You're starving yourself!"

''Why is it any of your business?''

"You're carrying my child Addison! THAT makes it my business! If you keep going like this, you'll lose the baby."

''It still isn't any of your business! If I don't want to be pregnant anymore, you wouldn't have a say in it, if I lose the baby, it's none of your business!''

His heart was beating fast as he talked through gritted teeth. "Addison, I hate you, right now I really do."

''Ask me if I care, Derek.''

He shook his head and turned his back to her, walking out of the room. "I'm gonna sleep downstairs."

''Oh great, do what you always do.''

"What? So you wanna keep yelling, screaming our lungs out. Telling how much we hate each other, how lame the sex is?" He stood in the doorway.

''Oh so now the sex is lame?''

"NO! And I don't fuck you? Honestly?"

''What?''

"I said fuck you and you said not by you! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME HERE?"

''I meant that you're definitely the last person who I want to be fucked by right now!''

"Great! Then we have the same wishes!"

''Asshole.''

"Bitch."

''Fucker.''

"Sleep well." He simply closed the door.

''Go fuck yourself!''

He shook his head, giving the door the middle finger before he realised he didn't even have a blanket. She laid in the bed frustrated and angry. He ran a hand through his hair and looked around him. She sighed loudly. He tried to keep his arms warm before he went to the living room. Addison tried to catch some sleep. He laid down on the couch, rubbing his forehead slightly. She looked around the room, lying on her back. His heart was still beating fast, sighing loudly, looking at the ceiling. After about 30 minutes of this she got up. He was still lying down, trying to catch some sleep. She searched for another bikini in her closet. He tried and tried, failing again, again and again. She threw Derek's shirt off and put on her bikini. He let his eyes open, staring at the roof again, hitting his forehead lightly multiple times. She went down the stairs. He heard some movement, instantly sitting up on the couch. She entered the hallway. He could hear her steps, biting on his lip. She grabbed a towel which was hanging over the wooden banister before she walked into the living room. He looked at her confused as a little anger he had managed to hide for quite a while now built up again. She gave him a simple look as she then walked past him.

"Where are you going?" He asked, looking after her.

''Swimming.''

He looked at the clock. "It's night."

''So?''

"Nothing, I just pointed it out." He gave a little shrug.

''Don't bother to.''

"Fine." He laid back down on the couch. She opened the back door. He ran a hand through his hair and simply tried to get to sleep. She walked through the glass door and closed it. He mumbled something, rolling onto his side. She hung the towel over a chair. He sighed and got up slowly, walking into the kitchen. She stretched out and dived smoothly into the pool. He looked for a glass and quickly found it, filling it with cold water. She swam around in the pool. He drank slowly, trying to cool down. She stroked her wet hair back, tears falling down her face. He closed his eyes, leaning against the counter. She dived under the surface again. He sighed heavily. "How did things get so fucked up?" He asked himself over and over again. She tried to stay under the water as long as possible. He tried to keep breathing steadily, in and out, in and out. Her eyes were opened as she was under water, sitting on the bottom of the pool. He felt a tug at his heart as he thought of her.

After a few seconds she had to get up for air, wishing she was able to stay under longer. He shook his head and took a big gulp of water, rubbing his face tiredly. He was tired of the constant fighting. She rested her arms over the side so she wouldn't submerge under the water. Derek started walking around the room, not able to think of anything else better to do. She rested her forehead against the ground as well. A few seconds later he stopped walking in circles and instead left the kitchen, walking into the living room, stepping out into the fresh air. Addison was still in the same position, her eyes closed and her head resting on her arms. He watched her silently and started playing with his fingers nervously. She hadn't noticed him yet.

"Are you alright?" He asked, sitting down on the chair near the pool. She lifted up her head surprised and looked at him. He watched her, waiting for a bitchy reply.

She simply looked at him. He looked back at her, not doing anything else, just simply looking. She felt her heart getting heavier and heavier by the second. He leaned his elbow on the chair, placing his head on his hand. She simply watched him. They kept doing this for several moments before he spoke the same words again. "Are you alright?

''No, I'm not.''

"Yeah, me neither." He replied honestly. She nodded. They fell into silence again. She looked down at the ground. He took a deep breath and looked around. Addison sighed. He massaged his neck uncomfortably.

''What are you doing?''

"Hmm?" He turned to look at her.

''What are you doing?'' She asked quietly.

"Right now?" He asked confused.

''Yeah...''

"I... my neck, it's a bit sore." He replied truthfully.

''Oh...''

"Yeah... how's the swimming going?"

''You're hurting me.'' She said quietly.

"I'm sorry..." He bit on his lip. "How am I hurting you?"

''You...'' Her eyes were filled with tears. ''You just hurt me.''

He looked away, not able to see her suffer. "I don't want to hurt you."

''Me neither.''

"I... is there anyway?" He asked in a whisper.

''What?''

"Is there anyway to... make this work?" He ran his hand through his hair.

''I don't know anymore, I really don't.''

"Why does this have to be this hard?"

''I don't know.''

"Yeah... me neither."

She pulled herself up and got out of the water. He watched her, wiping his eyes. She took a deep breath, wrapping her arms around herself. He sighed, taking the towel from behind him, holding it towards her silently. ''Thanks.'' She said, quietly excepting it. "Welcome." He nodded and looked down. She sighed and looked at him, wrapping the towel around her before she lifted her hand and rested it on his cheek. He sighed as well, letting his other leg rub his other one. His fingers went through his curls again before he looked up to her. ''Fight Derek.'' She said softly, her hand still on his cheek. He carried on looking into her eyes. "I will, I'll put up one heck of a fight for this. Believe me."

''I will as well, I promise.''

"That's all I need to know." He placed his hand on hers softly.

''I love you Derek, I'm not letting you go, ever.''

"I love you too Addison, I don't hate you, I can't, I won't." He whispered. "I love you."

She nodded a little. He brought his hand to the back of her head, brushing her hair lightly, leaning his forehead against hers softly. She hesitantly sat down in his lap. He pulled her a bit closer so that she wouldn't be able to fall from his lap.

''You'll get wet...''

"It's just pyjamas. They'll dry, don't worry about it." He replied. She nodded, burying her head in his neck. His arms were loosely around her middle. She started to sob into his neck. "Shhh..." He pulled her slightly closer again, letting his hands move up and down on her back. "Babe... honey..." He whispered against her soft hair. She held him tighter. He gave few kisses on her shoulder. "Shh..." Her eyes were closed and her arms tightly around him. He gently brushed her back and kissed her shoulder once more.

''I love you.''

"I love you too." He said softly. She placed a kiss in his neck. He pulled back a little so that he was able to give her a little kiss on the lips. She gave him a small kiss back. He placed one more light kiss on her lips before pulling her in for another hug.

''I don't ever want us to divorce.''

"Me neither, I don't want us to be apart, ever again." He agreed. She placed another kiss on his neck. He kissed her jaw lightly.

''Let's go to sleep.'' She whispered. ''Together.''

"Yeah... sleep. Can I carry you?" He asked, not wanting to let go of her.

''You don't have to.''

"I want to."

''Oh... okay.''

He gave her a light kiss on the lips, getting up with her, carrying her. She hold onto him tighter. He kissed her softly. "Trust me, I won't let go." He started walking into the house.

''Am I not too heavy?''

"No, you're not heavy at all." He shook his head. "Close the door honey." He ordered in a sweet tone after they stepped into the house. She did as he said.

"Good." He walked through the living room and into the hallway.

''Can you get me up the stairs?''

"Yeah believe me sweetie, you, are, not, heavy. And besides I'm a strong guy." He replied as they reached the stairs.

''I don't want you to go through your back or something...''

"Honey, my back's alright." He gave a light kiss on her lips at the other end of the stairs. She waited patiently. He walked into their bedroom and closed the door behind her, walking towards the bed. She watched his face. He slowly laid her down on the bed, laying down right next to her. She looked at him. He looked back at her. "We're wet." He whispered, not caring less.

''Yeah... I'm sorry.''

"It's alright." He gave a smile, giving her a kiss on her nose.

''I should change.''

"Yeah probably." He replied. She got up from the bed. He watched her as she walked towards the closet. She untied her bikini top. He carried on watching her.

''Please don't look...''

"I'm sorry." He looked down to his hands, making himself busy. She pulled down the bottoms. He politely carried on looking away. She pulled on some underwear. He laid on his back, adjusting the pillows a bit. She then pulled on her pyjama's.

He rubbed his eyes tiredly. After she was dressed she got into the bed. He turned his head to look at her. She looked back at him. He pouted his lips slightly for a kiss. She gave him a small kiss. He pecked her lips back. "Night."

''Sweet dreams.''

"You too, I love you."

''I love you too, and I always have sweet dreams when I sleep next to you.''

He smiled at her softly. "Me too, when I'm next to you."

She smiled at him. ''Really?''

"Really, I just get so comfortable and relaxed..." He let his hand move to her cheek, stroking softly. She smiled at him, looking into his eyes as she moved one arm around his waist. After a while he let his hand move down her back, kissing her on the lips lightly. She softly kissed him goodnight. He pulled back from the tender kiss after a while, smiling again.

''Night.''

"Nightie." He whispered before closing his eyes. She did the same. Just a few moments later he was on his way to the dreamland. She followed him soon. They slept in each other's arms peacefully.

A few hours later, morning had arrived. The sun was already shining through the blinds. Everyone was still asleep, until a bell was heard through the apartment. Derek's eyebrows furrowed together and he tried to ignore the sound but no matter how hard he tried he woke up. Addison groaned and got up. ''Who the hell would that be?''

"Hmm someone non-important." He mumbled, rolling onto his stomach.

''Probably.'' She gave him a kiss before leaving the room.

"Hmhmm." He mumbled against the pillow as a reply as she left. She walked down the stairs. Soon she opened the door, revealing her father.

''Dad...''

"Addie… I hope I didn't wake you up." He replied, looking into the eyes of his daughter.

''What are you doing here?'' She asked groggily, her eyes squinted half-shut, from the light.

"Umm... I need to talk to you about yesterday and what happened." He replied, clearing his throat as he moved his weight from one foot to another.

''Why?''

"Because yesterday didn't go as planned and I don't want to fight with you. We see rarely and the little time we have together... I don't want to spend that fighting. So... talk?"

''Whatever.'' She shook her head.

"Sweetie, I'm sorry about the way your mother acted last night."

Addison shook her head again.

"Addison, I should have done something when it first started, but I didn't and now I can't anymore. I'm so sorry about it."

''Sure you are now.''

"Addison please. I wasn't there as much as I would have wanted. Just... let's not fight okay?"

''Whatever.''

"You don't really mean that."

''Mean what?''

"You really don't mean that everything's okay. That you're fine with it." He shrugged.

''What does it even matter?''

"You're my daughter, and that matters."

''It means nothing.''

"It does mean something Addison."

''It doesn't.''

"It does. Addison please forgive me. I haven't always done the right things but I've tried."

Addison sighed.

"Addison please."

''What?''

"Forgive me, okay?"

''Why would I?''

"Because you're my daughter and I love you no matter what."

''Fine.''

Caleb sighed. "Do you really mean that?"

''I don't know.''

"Think about it okay?"

''I don't know.''

"Try okay?" He gave her a little sad smile.

''Yeah.''

"Good. Well anyway..." He shifted.

''Yeah...''

"I'll... umm see you later? Someday?"

''I don't know.''

"Call me later today."

''I won't.''

"Addison please, you're my daughter."

''Like I said, that doesn't have to mean anything.''

"You can't do this, Addison, you're a part of my family, our family doesn't do this, this doesn't happen to us."

''Apparently it does.''

"I'm sorry Addison. Really sorry."

''It's too late.''

"It's never too late." The same words Derek had used just months ago.

''It is, it's too late now, I'm not letting you walk all over me again.''

"But I wasn't the one doing the walking! I never said those things." Caleb tried to explain.

''Said what things?''

"What your mother did, what she did, all that."

''It's your fault as well, you never did anything.''

Caleb sighed. "I know... I know."

''Yeah.''

"Well I hope you figure it out, well I hope we figure it out."

''I have enough problems as it is, I'm not in the mood to have to deal with this as well.''

Caleb sighed loudly. "I know you do, but please, think about it."

''I will.''

He gave a sad smile, not wanting to push her about this. "Tell Derek I said hi."

''Do you erhm... wanna come in? I mean... it was a long drive.''

"Yeah, that'd be... nice." He gave her a grateful smile, he had doubted if she would have let him in.

''Okay.'' She stepped aside. He stepped into the house and looked around. "This looks like a great place."

''It is.'' She nodded and closed the door.

"Good, good.." He nodded in thought.

''Yeah...''

"What did you do yesterday?" He tried to make a conversation.

''We went into town for a little while.'' She mentioned for him to sit down.

"That sounds like fun really." He gave a smile and sat down on a chair in the living room.

''Yeah, it was. Do you want some coffee?''

"Yeah, please, I didn't have any this morning." He nodded.

''Okay.'' She got up again.

"Thanks." He called after her.

She returned with one mug of coffee and a glass of water.

"Thanks." He took it from her, giving her a nod with a smile.

''You're welcome.'' She sat down. He sipped the coffee, looking around in the room. She took a sip of her glass.

"Hmm..." He didn't know what to say. "This is good."

''Yeah...''

He shifted on the seat uncomfortably.

After a few seconds one of the kids started to cry. Just a moment later they heard a loud groan and heavy footsteps.

''Excuse me.'' Addison got up.

"Yeah no problem." Caleb nodded.

''Do you... wanna come?''

Caleb got up, smiling. "Yeah, of course." Addison gave him a smile. They made their way upstairs and into the kids' room, Derek was sitting on the bed, holding Justin in his lap. "Shh..." Justin was starting to calm down but now Hailey was crying. ''Shhh baby, mommy is here.'' Derek gave his wife a tired smile as Hailey's little arms reached towards Addison. Addison picked her daughter up. Derek gave Justin a little kiss on the top of his head. "It's alright now..." Addison softly juggled her baby girl as Caleb watched them. This was when Derek realised Caleb's presence. "Oh hi." He gave a smile and then gazed towards Addison. Addison looked at her husband.

"Hi Derek." Caleb greeted as Derek raised his eyebrows at Addison, placing a few more kisses on Justin's hair. Addison gave him a look. Derek looked away, towards Justin. "Feeling any better baby?" He asked the little one. The little boy nodded, putting his thumb in his mouth. "Good." Derek gave him a smile and hugged him tightly. Hailey looked at her grandfather. Caleb gave the small girl a smile as he leaned against the doorframe. She put her thumb in her mouth. He looked at his granddaughter as he walked further into the room. She kept looking at him. Hailey looked at her grandfather, thumb in mouth and her head on her mother's shoulder. Caleb let out a soft laugh as he watched her carefully, the little girl reminded him of the young Addison a bit. Addison was talking to Derek softly.

"Why were you two crying?" Caleb asked Hailey softly.

''I wanted my mommy to come.''

"Aww." Caleb smiled. "You seem to love mommy a lot don't you?"

The little girl nodded her head. Caleb nodded as well. "That's good."

Addison waited until Derek was done with Justin and then laid Hailey down on the changing table. Caleb made the bed while Derek bounced a happy two-year-old on his hip. Addison started to change Hailey.

"Are you hungry?" Derek asked Justin, brushing his back. The little boy nodded tiredly.

"What would you like to eat?" Derek asked before placing a kiss on the back of Addison's head. "Bring Hails downstairs for breakfast too."

''Breakfast.'' Justin answered.

''Alright honey.'' Addison answered her husband.

"Thanks." Derek gave a smile to Addison although she couldn't see it as he left the room with Justin.

''Come closer.'' Addison said to her father. Caleb nodded with a smile on his face, walking to Addison.

''Do you want to put on her clothes?''

"Yeah, please." Caleb smiled at his daughter gratefully. She gave him a small smile back and stepped aside, getting an outfit for her daughter from the closet. While she did this Caleb started chatting with Hailey. She laid down the outfit next to the toddler. He carefully started dressing the toddler, the whole time talking to Hailey. Addison watched them, smiling. He gently tickled Hailey's belly, smiling. "Aren't you looking pretty today little Miss." Hailey giggled. Caleb laughed softly and finished dressing her. Hailey looked at him with big eyes. Caleb gave a smile. "Are you hungry?"

''A little.''

"Do you wanna go grab some breakfast then?"

''Okays.''

"Good." Caleb picked her up carefully, holding her on his hip.

''I want mommy to hold me.''

"Addie, would you take her?" Caleb handed the girl to Addison after she nodded. "Oooh there you go."

Addison smiled and took over her daughter. They made their way out of the room and downstairs. They walked into the kitchen. Derek was already preparing breakfast, Justin had just wanted a simple sandwich.

''Would you like something to eat dad?''

"No thank you, I already ate." He gave a smile.

''Oh... anything else?''

"Maybe some juice?" He smiled.

''Okay.'' She put Hailey down in his lap.

"Do you want a sandwich too princess?" Derek asked his daughter.

''Yes!'' She nodded her head sweetly.

"Good." He smiled and began making another one. "With cheese?"

''With cheese.'' She confirmed.

Addison wrapped her arms around her husband's waist from behind as he made the sandwich. ''We haven't hugged yet.''

He smiled at the gentle touch, putting down the stuff he was holding. "Oh we haven't?" He slowly turned around in her arms, wrapping his arms around her waist as well.

''Yeah, we haven't.'' She rested her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He pulled her a bit closer, his head on top of hers, taking in her scent. "We haven't said good morning either."

''Good morning.'' She mumbled.

"Good morning." He replied, brushing her back. She moved her head, placing a kiss under his chin. "Hmmm." He mumbled softly at the light kiss, placing one like that on her cheek. She smiled at this, placing a kiss on his lips, not caring that her father was watching. Caleb tried to look away. A smile tugged at his lips as he kissed her again on the lips. She was smiling into the kiss, her arms linked around his waist. "Hmm." His fingers played with the hem of her shirt innocently. She softly sucked on his bottom lip. He broke away from the kiss a bit later, pecking her lips soundly. She pecked his back.

"I love you babe." He smiled.

''I love you too honey.'' She placed another kiss on his lips.

"Hmmm..." He placed his other hand on her butt after checking her father wasn't looking, which he wasn't. Addison laughed softly at this, kissing him again.

''Daddy.'' His little girl pouted. ''I'm hungry.''

Derek gave a little sigh. "Why do all good things come to an end?" He pouted, pecking Addison's lips.

''Hand off of my butt.'' She whispered to him. Derek pecked her lips once more before he obeyed. Addison pulled back from him. Derek turned around and carried on making the breakfast. She poured some juice for Caleb. A minute later the kids got their breakfast and Derek looked at his wife. "Addles, you want something for breakfast?"

''No I'm good.''

"You sure?" He asked, taking a bite of his sandwich.

''Yeah.'' She gave Caleb the glass. ''Here you go.''

"Thanks." He smiled at his daughter and took a sip of the drink.

''No problem.'' Addison sat down next the him and Hailey. Derek sat next to Justin and looked at his wife, offering her a smile. She gave him one back, then placing a kiss on Hailey's curly black hair.

"Mommy is it too hot today? Or can we go see the kangaroos?" She asked excitedly.

''I think we can honey, but then we'll have to leave soon.''

"Yeah?" She grinned, looking at her twin. "WE CAN GO SEE KANGAROOS!"

''YAY!'' He jumped up and down. Derek laughed softly and shook his head. Caleb smiled at them.

"So outback today?" Derek asked, taking a large sip of his coffee.

''Probably.''

"Sounds good." He smiled.

''Yeah?''

"Yeah." He gave a smile, carrying on eating. She watched him. Derek could feel her eyes on him, a smile tugging at his lips as he drank. She continued to look at him. He looked up and his gaze met her long glances. She gave him a sweet smile. He gave her one back, taking a bite of his sandwich. She chuckled softly.

"Why is mommy looking at daddy in a funny way?" Hailey asked from Caleb thoughtfully.

''Hmm what?'' He looked at his granddaughter.

"Like that!" She pointed at her mother. "LOOK!"

Caleb looked at them. Derek was still smiling at her while drinking. Addison did the same. It was like neither of them realised anything that was going on.

"Whyyy?" Hailey asked.

''Hmm?''

"Why are they looking at each other like thatttt?" The toddler pouted.

''Like what?''

"Like that, funny way." She pointed between them.

''We aren't doing anything honey.''

"Okay." Hailey smiled and finished her breakfast. Addison smiled at her daughter.


	35. Drive

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 35 - Drive_

After a drive that seemed like forever Justin was pouting, hitting his car seat. "I don't like this place! No kangaroos!"

''Well we're not there yet honey.'' Addison responded from the passenger's seat.

"Why not? Daddy is slow!" Justin complained again. "It's hot in here!"

Derek shook his head at the little one and carried on driving.

''I know honey.''

"Justin sweetie, do you want some water?" Derek asked, looking at him through the mirror.

''Yeah.''

"Addie?" Derek looked at his wife. "Could you give him a bottle?"

''Yeah.'' She went into the bag. ''What about you Bug?''

"YES!" Hailey quickly nodded her head, impatient.

''Anyone want something to eat?''

"Nope!" The cheery girl shook her head.

''Jussie?''

"Uhm." He thought about it with a finger in his mouth. "Nooo."

''Der?''

"No thanks but maybe you should take something, you didn't eat anything for breakfast."

''I'm not hungry.'' She lied.

"Please Addie take something." He gave her a little smile.

''I'm not hungry.''

"You should be at this hour, take anything you want."

''I'm not hungry.'' Addison repeated annoyed.

Derek looked at her for a moment before focusing on the road again, this was not going too well. She looked out of the window. He rubbed his jaw tiredly, he was tired of this. What was so hard about eating? She took a sip of water.

"Do you know how long we still have to drive?" Derek asked after a minute.

''About 30 minutes I'd say.'' She answered, they were going to visit a wild park.

"Okay, good." Derek nodded, checking how the kids were doing, watching them through the mirror.

''Did you have some water kids?''

They both nodded and Hailey's arm extended so that she was able to give her mother the water bottle.

''Oh you can keep it in the back baby, then you can drink something whenever you want.''

"Okay!" She said cheerily and smiled widely at her mother, putting it between her and Justin.

''I need new diaper.''

Derek looked at his son through the mirror. "Yeah?"

He nodded.

"Great, in the middle of nowhere." Derek mumbled before giving his son a smile.

''There's a gas station further on.'' Addison retorted.

"Yeah? Can you wait that long baby?" Derek asked Justin.

He shrugged, pouting.

"Sweetie, it won't be long okay?"

''Okaaay.''

"Good boy."

Addison turned her head and gave her children a smile. Hailey waved cheerily at her. "How long do we still have to sit here?"

''About 30 minutes sweetie.''

"Yay!" The little girl grinned widely and had hard time staying in place. Addison smiled at her and softly rubbed the little girl's foot. Derek smiled at them before concentrating back on the road. Justin squirmed on his car seat.

''What's wrong baby?''

"It's too hot in hereee." He pouted.

''I know sweetie, take another sip of water.''

Justin pouted and reached for the bottle of water, sipping it.

''There's the gas station Der.''

"Ah yeah." He gave Addison a little smile like it was a habit and then drove there, parking the car. Addison opened the car door and got out, stretching her legs. Derek stretched his back a bit before he got out of the car, slamming the door close. Addison got Hailey out of the car. Derek took Justin from his seat and placed him on the ground, taking the little boy's hand in his. Addison carried Hailey, taking Derek's hand. Derek linked his fingers with hers, giving her hand a soft squeeze. She smiled at him.

"Gimme a kiss." He said softly. She chuckled and placed a kiss on his cheek. He gave her a grin and placed one kiss on her lips before they walked into the gas station.

''I'm in the mood for some love tonight.'' She whispered in his ear. He bit on his lip, turning to look at her. "Hmm sounds like a great plan." An amazing plan, god the best damn plan ever.

''Yeah?''

"Yeah. A great plan." He placed a kiss on her ear, softly biting on her earlobe.

''Great.''

He grinned at her before pecking her lips once more. Addison smiled and politely turned to the man behind the cash register. ''Hi.''

"Hello, how can I help you?" The man asked with a smile.

''Ehm could you tell us where the bathroom is?''

"Umm, you go to the right, and then you should see a little sign, turn to the left and ta-da." He replied.

''Thanks.'' She smiled at him. ''Bug, do you need a diaper change too?''

She nodded her head a bit. "Yeah."

''Der will you take both or shall I take Bug?''

"One-One?" He lifted Justin so that he was placed on Derek's hip.

''Alright.''

"Love you." He pecked her lips before they made their way towards the bathrooms. Addison walked into the women's bathroom with Hailey and Derek walked into the men's room with his son. She smiled at her daughter, putting her down on the changing table.

"Will we see kangaroos soon?" Hailey asked, playing with her hands.

''Yes baby.'' She got out a new diaper out of her bag.

"Yay! What do they eat? Do they eat cheese?" She asked.

''Eh... no. Lay down sweetie.''

"Okay." She did as told. "What do they eat then? Do they eat little people?"

''No honey, they eat grass and plants and small insects.'' She took the little girl's shorts off.

"Oh, that must taste bad. You know once at grandma's I almost ate a bug." She chatted lightly.

''Oh really?''

"Yeah it wasn't fun. Grandma went nuts, she gave me like million glasses of water and all that."

''Aww.'' Addison laughed.

"Yeah." Hailey shrugged with a smile on her face. She took off her diaper.

"I wanna play with Jussie."

''You do?'' She put on a new one.

"Yeah, he's fun." Hailey nodded.

''Yeah he's your twin.''

"Does that make me fun too?"

''What do you mean honey?''

"Because Jussie's twin, am I fun too?"

''Of course baby.'' She pulled up her little shorts again and buttoned them and tied the drawstrings.

"Yay!" She smiled brightly and looked up at her mother, studying her face. Addison gave her a smile.

"Why do I have daddy's hair and Jussie has yours?"

''It has to do with DNA sweetie.''

"What's DNA?" She asked, frowning.

''That's really hard to explain.''

She pouted. "Stupid DNA."

''What?''

"I hate DNA." She crossed her arms.

''Why?''

"It's hard." She was still pouting.

''You'll understand it when you're older.''

"I better." She pouted for a moment before smiling.

''Come on, kiddo, you're done.''

She held up her arms, smiling widely at her mother. Addison picked her up. She wrapped her arms around Addison's neck and they walked out of the bathroom. She wrapped her arms around Addison's neck.

''Shall we look if they have something to eat here?''

She nodded her head rapidly. "YES!"

''Great.'' They left the bathroom.

"Do they have pizza?" She asked.

''No, maybe chips.''

"Oh." She pouted. "But chips are good too!"

''Yeah, they are.''

She rested her head against Addison's shoulder. She stroked her back. ''What kinda chips do you want baby girl?''

"Something with... ummm... THOSE ONES!" She pointed at some chips.

''Natural?''

She nodded. "Yeah, them!"

''Okay.'' She got it and then looked around at the magazines.

About a minute later Derek and Justin walked towards them, Justin on Derek's left hip. She didn't notice them and picked up a magazine.

"Cosmo?" He read over her shoulder.

''Oh, hi.''

"Hmm hi hunnie." He placed a kiss on her shoulder.

''Hmm.'' She hummed to his touch.

"I love you Addie." He smiled, placing a kiss on her neck as well.

''I love you too babe.''

"You buying that?" He asked, wrapped his arms around her middle.

''Yeah, why?''

"Just asking." He smiled.

''Kay then.''

"You have everything you need?" He asked,

''Yeah, but get Juss some chips.''

"Okay." He smiled and unwrapped his arms and walked towards the chips with Justin. "What do you want little guy?"

''What?'' He looked up at his father.

"What chips do you want? Some natural ones?"

''What's natural?''

"The one you normally eat, do you like them?" Derek picked him up from the floor.

''I want this one.'' He pointed at a yellow coloured bag of chips. Derek took it, examining it. "Really?"

''Yes!''

"Are you sure?"

''Daddy please!''

''He doesn't eat those Der.''

"Hmm yeah?" Derek replied his wife, putting away the bag of chips.

''But I want those!''

"You wouldn't eat them baby, choose something else."

He started pouting.

"Won't work on me, pick something else or you won't get any."

''The one Hailey has.''

Derek took another bag of chips, the same ones Hailey had. "Good."

''Are you getting some too?'' Addison asked.

"I don't know, I'm not that hungry. Do you want some?" He asked casually.

''No thanks.''

"You sure?" He asked again as they started walking towards the cash register.

''Yeah I am.''

"Good." He threw her a smile though he couldn't help but feel worried, scared? She gave him a smile back. They went to the cash register and he paid for their stuff.

''Ready to go again?''

"Yeah." Derek nodded as they left the gas station, walking back to their car.

A little over 40 minutes later they reached the park. Derek took a sip of the water before he got out of the car.

''Hmm we're here.''

"Yeah, looks good." Derek nodded at his wife, smiling.

''Hmhmm.'' They got the children out of the car and walked towards the entrance.

The following evening Derek and Addison were in the bathroom, brushing their teeth. His arm was wrapped around her from behind as they kept brushing their teeth. Her head was lightly tilted backwards, resting against his shoulder as she look at themselves in the mirror. He took the toothbrush out of his mouth and pecked her lips. She giggled at this. He grinned at the cute giggle, pecking her lips again. "Your toothpaste tastes better than mine."

''Oh does it?''

"Oh it does." He replied, kissing her softly.

''Hmm.'' She pulled her hair back and spit the toothpaste in the washing bowl. Derek carried on brushing his teeth, spitting after her. She rinsed her mouth. He watched her for a moment, once she was done he did the same. She looked at herself in the mirror. When he was ready he placed a soft kiss on her ear. "I love you."

''I love you too Der, did you like it today?''

"Yeah it was fun." He replied, bringing his other arm around her as well. "Did you like it then?"

''Of course.''

"Hmm good... would you want to..." He gave her neck a soft kiss. "maybe.." He pulled her a bit closer. "...go out with me, just the two of us?"

''When?''

"Hmm like… in a few days?" He gave a kiss on her neck again.

''You mean here... in Australia?''

"Yeah, like a restaurant or something." He replied.

''Alone, how?''

"I don't know, ask your dad to babysit?"

''Eh...''

"Or not. Look, I'm sure Caleb can handle two toddlers."

''I'm not saying that I don't think he can.''

"Yeah? Would you like to go out with me then?"

''Der...''

"Please?" Derek asked softly.

''I'm not bringing my children anywhere near my mother.''

"We could just ask him to come here to babysit."

''I don't know if he'll want to.''

"Yeah me neither but we can always ask, right?"

''I guess...''

"Wow, don't be too excited." He softly brushed her side.

''You know it's not that.''

"Yeah, I know." He gave her a little smile. "Do you want to ask your dad to come here then?"

''I guess.''

"Okay." He gave her a soft kiss on the lips. She gave him a kiss back. He wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned in to his touch. He breathed her in, kissing the top of her head. Addison wrapped her arms around his waist.

"You smell nice." He said softly and tickled her back.

''Hmm you do too.''

"And you look pretty too." He pecked her lips.

''Thanks.'' She mumbled.

"What? I don't look pretty today?" He teased.

''You always look pretty.''

"Ah thank you, so do you." He grinned, giving her another kiss.

''Not.''

"Do, you even look beautiful."

''I do not.''

"I think you do, like all the time."

She rolled her eyes.

"Well you do." He pecked her lips.

''Thanks...''

He brought his finger to her chin, brushing it lightly, giving her a kiss. "Don't doubt it baby."

''Okay.''

He rested his forehead against hers. "Yeah."

''Let's go to bed okay?''

"Okay." He slowly unwrapped his arms. They went into the bedroom. Since they both were already wearing their pyjamas they just crawled into bed. She snuggled under the blankets. He wrapped his arms around her, holding her close. She turned around in his arms so she was facing him. Derek smiled at her, looking into her eyes. His hand softly moved on her back. She started kissing his jaw. "Hmm…" He smiled at the touch, kissing her neck lightly. She roamed her hand under his shirt, over his abs. He let out a little moan, bringing her leg over his, gently rubbing it. She moved her hips against his groin. Derek started kissing her throat, trying to control himself. She could feel him starting to grow. He wasn't too good with controlling himself, a moan left his lips. She started to blow hot air against the spot behind his ear. He bit on his lip, letting his arm wander on her back before he slipped it under her shirt. She started to lightly lick the spot.

"Oh god..." He moaned at her, she surely knew all the right places. She moved her hand over his chest. He brought his hand to her breast, slowly cupping it. She then moved her hand down. His moved his lips to hers, starting to massage her breast. She moaned against his mouth, cupping his erection with her hand. Derek moaned into their kiss, his eyes closed tightly. She rubbed it through his pyjama pants. This only made him harder, his hand massaging her breast a bit harder in circles. She slipped her hand into his boxers. He deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into her mouth. This made her moan as she massaged his tongue. He let his hand move lower, caressing her stomach before reaching the waistband of her pyjama pants, a series of moans escaping his lips.

''Hmm Der.'' He played with it as his tongue fought with hers. She moved her hips against his hand.

"Impatient little?" He mumbled into the kiss, letting his hand move into her pants.

''Like you're not.''

"Point well noticed." He replied, moving his hand between her legs.

''And who says you're allowed to do that?'' She moaned.

"Ah, I do." He replied before massaging her thigh. "And as far as I can see you're not complaining Mrs. Shepherd."

''Hmm true.''

"Good..." He slowly moved his hand back between her legs, massaging her inner thigh.

''Hmmm Derek.''

He suddenly started massaging her clit. She let out a surprised shriek. He gave her cheek a soft kiss. ''More.'' He started massaging harder, starting to kiss her neck, biting slightly. Loud moans left her lips. He grinned, teasingly making the movement slower.

''No, no, no, no.''

"What is it sweetie?" He carried on the slow movement.

''Faster, please!''

"Hmmm..." Pleased with her answer, he started massaging her faster and a bit harder as well. ''Harder.'' She wanted more. He bit on her neck lightly and sucked harder as his massage became rougher. Her moans grew louder and louder, feeling like she could pass out any minute. Derek moved his kisses higher, kissing on the spot a bit under her ear. ''Derek.'' She cried out, not longer able to hold back. He carried on the movement with his fingers until she got down from her high. ''Hmmmr.'' She let out one last moan as her body still shuttered afterwards. He grinned, kissing his way to her lips. "I love you baby."

''I love you too.'' She breathed out. ''Thank you.''

"Hmm you're welcome." He replied, looking at her face. She smiled lazily at him. He slowly moved his hand onto her back.

''Now for that, you can tell me what you want, anything.''

"Uhuh?" He grinned, kissing her lips softly.

''Hmhmm.''

"I just need you Addie, now." He mumbled against her lips.

''Hmm how?''

"You on top of me." He replied, trying to remove her shirt. She moved on top of him. ''And now?''

"And now." He shifted underneath her so that he was comfortable, pulling her down to kiss him. She kissed him back. "Hmm..." He moaned lightly against her lips, as their lips carried on moving together. ''What do you want baby?'' She moved her pelvis over his erection. He removed her top, stealing a quick look at her before looking into her eyes. "I want you."

''How? How do you want me?''

"On top of me, slow pace, kissing, touching." He ran his hands over her back, kissing her between the words.

''Just that baby?''

"I just need you honey, now." He replied, capturing her lips again.

''You'll regret it later.'' She mumbled.

"Never." He murmured against her lips.

''Hmm you will.''

He ran his fingers over her spine, sending shivers through her. She felt her body tingle under his touch. He smiled against her lips. She took off his pyjama bottoms. He removed her pyjama bottoms as well, throwing them to the floor. She looked at him. He kissed her softly. She kissed him back, looking thinner than she ever had before. He moved his hands to her butt, his lips making love to hers. She sucked on his bottom lip. This made him let out a little moan and part his lips. She ran her fingers over his chest. He started caressing her thighs that had never been this thin. She started kissing his neck. He moaned lightly, tilting his head to the side, giving her a better access. She lightly sucked on his jaw. His hands started playing with the ends of her hair. She rested her hands on each side of her face. He inched his face closer to hers, kissing her tenderly. She softly kissed him back. Derek slowly deepened the kiss as his heart beat got faster. She started to take off his boxers. He played with her lacy thong, his fingers brushing over the sensitive skin on her back. She let out a small moan. He began to push them downwards, his fingers brushing over her skin as he did so. She rolled them over. He smiled down at her, kissing her neck. She wrapped her leg around him.

"Ready?" He whispered against her neck, sucking softly.

''Always.''

"Good." He carried on kissing her neck, slowly sliding into her. She threw her head back against the pillow, letting out a moan of pleasure.

"Addie.." He moaned, his head dropping on her shoulder as he went deeper.

''Ahh this feels so good.''

"God yes." He mumbled against her skin, starting to kiss her shoulder, slowly starting to thrust into her.

''Derek.'' She bit on her lip, no one could make her feel this good.

"You feel so good..." He moaned against her neck, sucking on it.

''Really?'' She breathed.

"Yes... really." He replied, his breathing getting a bit quicker as the pace got slightly faster.

''Ahh talk to me.''

"Addison you're making me feel so good." He moaned before giving her a kiss.

''You too.'' She moaned.

"God..." The pace got a bit faster before he brought her other leg around his hips. She wrapped her legs tightly around his waist. She tightened her legs around his waist. He carried on with the same pace, kissing her lips. She kissed him back passionately. He slipped his tongue into her mouth so easily as their hips moved against each other's. Their tongues moved in circles as she felt herself getting closer. His head started getting cloudy as their pace got faster and their movements quicker. She moved her hips up against his. He moaned into their kiss, his other hand that was on the mattress grabbing the sheets. ''Derek.'' She moaned out. His hand wandered on her other leg, caressing it as more moans left his lips. Her fingers ran over his back. "Addie..." He felt himself lose control over his body, the pace faster and the thrusting deeper.

''You're getting me close.'' She whispered.

"Me too, I'm almost there." He breathed back, biting on his lip.

''Yeah?''

"Yes." He replied again, his hand moving between their slightly sweaty bodies. She let out a moan in anticipation. His hand moved lower and reached it's target, massaging her clit slightly. She could instantly feel her body grow weak. The massage got harder and he breathed hot air into her ear, kissing her earlobe at the same time. Loud and fast moans left her lips, breathing out his name when she came hard. Just a thrust later he felt himself explode with pleasure, moaning out her name over and over again, not able to control himself. She held onto him. When they slowly began to recover he kissed her neck lazily. "Wow..."

''Hmmmm.'' She smiled.

"You're amazing..." He mumbled against her skin before planting one kiss on her lips.

''Hmm, no you are.'' She smiled.

"Let's call it a tie." He smiled lazily, resting on top of her.

''You're so sexy like that.''

He chuckled at her, smiling. "Yeah? How?"

''Hmm you just are.''

"Good, you're sexy too." Smiling at her, brushing her hair.

''Thanks.'' She blushed. He smiled, placing a kiss on her lips. "You're always sexy."

''You're a liar.''

"Nope, I am not." He replied, kissing her lips.

''Are.''

"No, I'm not. You're sexy, always have been."

''Liar.''

"I'm not, it's just my opinion."

''Whatever.''

"Addie, I think you look sexy all the time okay? Not a lie."

''Whatever.'' She said again, not believing him. He gave her a light kiss. "I love you."

''I love you too.''


	36. Beach dates and Phonecalls

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 36 – Beach dates and phonecalls_

It was early morning and the two of them were sitting at the beach, waiting for the sun to come up. He had his arms around her loosely as he patiently waited. Both had on loose clothes, swimwear underneath them, considering it was still a little chilly for the early morning. They were sitting on a big beach towel together, watching the waves crash against the shore. It was quiet, not many people went this early in the morning. There were few people walking down the beach, talking, running, playing with their dog or waiting for the sunset, like them.

"This is nice." He whispered softly against her hair, as a huge wave crashed against the shore, followed by few smaller ones. He had his toes buried in the sand and he kept looking at her. ''Yeah it is.'' She agreed, watching the waves. He inhaled her scent, his arm brushing her side as his other hand started drawing in the sand. She rested her head on his shoulder, tilting it lightly to the side so she could place a kiss beneath his jaw. He smiled at her movement, giving her a gentle kiss on her cheek while his finger drew in the sand. She leaned her forehead against his cheek, a wide smile was on her face. He enjoyed their closeness, smiling broadly while his arm brought her closer. She moved closer to him, looking over the beach again, smiling as an elderly woman walked pass them with a dog. The woman gave them a polite smile which Derek quickly replied, holding his wife just as close as he could. There was also a young couple near by them, closer to the shore. She placed a soft kiss on his cheek as they held each other.

"I can't wait for the sun to come up." He whispered, giving her a kiss on the lips.

''Me either.'' She pecked his lips. ''It's so quiet, without the twins.''

"Yeah... they're always talking. But it's nice to have some peace and quiet for a while." He nodded slowly, brushing her cheek.

''Hmhmm.''

"This will be a fun day." He promised, giving her a few more sweet pecks on her lips.

''I know. You in nothing but shorts is always fun.''

He laughed, giving her a kiss. "Yeah I know, I'm such a hottie."

''You are.'' She leaned against him.

"You're a hottie too you know?"

''Hmmm.''

He kissed her neck softly, innocently. "You are."

''The sun is coming up.''

He turned to look at the horizon while she did the same. The sun was shining brightly and they watched it come up for several minutes, not really saying anything. Addison placed a soft kiss against his arm, where his tattoo was. He smiled, turning to look at his wife. "You love the tattoo don't you?" He looked at it as well.

''Of course I do.'' She smiled.

"Good because it is for you." He cupped her jaw and looked into her eyes, smiling. She gazed back into his eyes. He placed his forehead against hers lovingly.

''I love you.'' She whispered.

"I love you too." Those four words were once again whispered from a lover to another. She gave him a soft kiss. ''I hope it gets warmer soon.''

"I can warm you until then." He pecked her lips. She smiled. ''Are you cold?''

"Not too much, a little maybe." He replied and wrapped both of his arms tightly around her. She leaned against him. ''I don't want you to be cold.''

"I'm not too cold, I'm alright." He replied, loving that she cared for this.

''Warm yourself against me.''

"I will, trust me." He replied, indeed holding her close, feeling her warmness. She rubbed her hands over his arms.

He captured her lips with his easily into a little tender kiss, his hands moving on her back. She softly kissed him. He began rubbing her back tenderly as they carried on kissing. She held him close to her. He pulled back from the kiss a few seconds later, placing his forehead against hers. A soft smile was playing on her lips. Derek brushed a stray of hair behind her ear, mouthing 'I love you'.

''I love you.'' She whispered to him.

"I love you too." He was looking into her eyes, smiling. She held his face in her hands. He kept breathing normally, her company relaxing him completely. She placed several soft kisses against his lips. He each time pecked hers back lovingly. She smiled at their kisses. By now he wasn't cold any longer, his lips already missing hers. "I wish we could stay like this forever."

''Me too.'' She whispered. His fingers went through her hair, smiling.

''You're the love of my life.'' She whispered to him. A smile tugged at his lips. "Good, because you're the love of my life. I don't want to spend my life with anyone else." He replied in a whisper. This made her smile widely.

"No one can make me feel like you do."

''Me too.''

"I love you so much." He said again, giving her a kiss. She tenderly kissed him back. He carried on kissing her. A while later it finally started to get warmer. They were still close to each other and he was breathing her in.

''Hmm it's hot.''

"Do you wanna swim then?" He looked towards the shore.

''No, not really.''

"Hmm good." He kissed her lightly once again.

''Hmhmm. Do you?''

"Not really, maybe a bit later." He replied.

''Kay.'' She pulled back and lied down on the towel. He lied down on his side, watching her with a smile on his face.

''Take off your shirt.'' She smiled. He kissed her softly on the lips before doing what he was told, taking it off slowly. She smiled at him. Once he had removed his shirt he placed it back into the bag behind him. She moved so she was on her stomach, one arm around him. Derek laid on his back, smiling widely at her actions. He placed a kiss on her cheek. Addison closed her eyes. He held her as he placed few more kisses on her cheek. She started to pull off the shirt she was wearing. Once he saw what she was up to, he helped her take it off, placing a kiss on her shoulder.

''Thanks.'' She mumbled.

"Hmm no problem babe." He put the shirt away. She closed her eyes again. He ran a hand over her back multiple times.

''I really have to get some colour here.''

"Yeah? But you should be careful not to burn yourself." He replied softly.

''I'm a redhead, I always burn.''

"Still. And besides you look amazing anyway."

''Thanks.'' She mumbled. He kissed her shoulder lightly and rolled onto his stomach.

''I'm gonna fall asleep.'' She said tiredly. He let out a little laugh. "Seriously?"

''Yeah, don't laugh.''

"Aww baby." He took her hand. "Maybe you should take a little nap, we have a long day ahead of us."

''Hmm we do?''

"Yeah we do." He replied with a smile.

''Hmmm.'' She stretched out. He watched her body with a spark in his eye.

''Take off my shorts?''

"Hmm gladly." He gave a grin, pecking her lips.

''Thanks.''

A few moments later he had removed the shorts, smiling widely like a kid in a candy store. She laid back against the towel tiredly.

"I love you Addles." He rested on the towel, taking her hand in his.

''I love you too Der.''

"You should really take a nap or something." He smiled.

''Hmmmm.'' She was already drifting off.

"Sweet dreams." He replied, holding her.

''Hmmrr.''

He placed a kiss on her back. She continued to sleep. He watched her sleep peacefully. About forty minutes later she started to stir. He had his eyes closed, but he wasn't sleeping. She sat up, looking around. He shifted on the towel as he heard and felt her movement. "Hmm..." She looked at him, moving her body so she was lying on him. He smiled, slowly opening his eyes, adjusting them to the sun. "Hi."

''Hey.'' Addison smiled at her husband. He smiled widely, looking up at her, cupping her face carefully.

''For how long was I out?''

"A bit over half an hour I think." He replied softly.

''Sorry.''

"It's okay, you look cute when you sleep and make those little quiet noises."

''What noises?'' Her head shot up.

"Cute little breathing sounds." His hand brushed her soft back again.

''Oh.''

He gave her a little kiss. "It's really cute."

''Hmm you look hot.''

"Oh really?" He gave her a grin.

''Hmm.'' She nodded her head.

"You're hot too." He kissed her lips.

''Thank you.''

"Hmm welcome baby." He pecked her lips lightly.

''Have you been working out secretly?''

He grinned. "Thank you honey, but no. Why you asking that?"

''Must be all the sex then.''

He laughed at her softly. "Yeah, maybe. Sex is a great work out."

''For you maybe.''

"What do you mean?"

''I don't seem to burn calories.''

Derek raised his eyebrows. "Honey, you're very, very thin, you don't need to lose anymore weight okay?"

''With sex.''

"What?"

''Never mind.'' She rolled her eyes.

"Honey, you're really thin okay? You're not heavy, your stomach is flat. What's the problem here?"

''Nothing.'' She sighed.

"You can talk to me." He brushed her back, tickling it gently.

''About what?''

"You just sighed, I assume something is wrong."

''No.''

"No?" He asked softly.

''Nothing's wrong.''

"Good, because there's nothing wrong with you, or your body." He ran his hands down her sides.

''Don't do that please.''

"Sorry." He moved his hands off of her. _God._

"Thank you."

"Welcome." He drummed his fingers on the towel.

She sat up. He looked at her after propping himself up with his elbows. She looked in the bag. He looked around the beach. She got out the sun block. He ran a hand through his hair as he carried on scanning the beach before he laid his eyes on his wife. She started to apply sun block on herself. He watched her for a moment or two before he laid on his back.

''Do you need sun block as well?''

"Yeah." He nodded at her, propping himself up again.

''Okay, but then you'll have to do my back afterwards okay?''

"Not complaining." He gave her a smile.

''Good.'' She applied some sun block on his chest. He smiled at her, biting on his lip slightly. She rubbed it over his chest and stomach. His eyes closed and he simply enjoyed her touch.

''Don't get fired up honey.'' Addison had to laugh.

"Shut up." He let out a laugh. "Not my fault you have good hands."

''Hmm do I?''

"Hmhmm, I think you do have excellent hands." He grinned.

''How?''

"You just do, you can massage and you can... do stuff." He opened his eyes, looking at her. She smirked and raised her eyebrow at him. He shrugged and pecked her lips soundly. "It's true."

''Thanks.'' She rubbed in his lower abdomen.

"Hmm welcome." He smiled and bit on his lip.

''Der!'' She laughed.

"Shut up! Seriously!" He pouted.

''We're on a beach!''

"It's not my fault!"

''Seriously? Der...''

"Addie..." He looked at her. She raised her eyebrow.

"Seriously your hands can't go any lower than that, my stomach. That rubbing might make me... uhm..."

''I figured.''

He pecked her lips. She pecked his back. ''If I were you I'd rub it in myself then there, because you'll burn.''

"I don't want to burn." He pouted at her, taking her face in his hands.

''I don't want you to burn either.'' She pecked his lips.

"Good." He gave her another soft kiss before starting to rub the sun block in his lower abdomen. She watched him as he did this. After a moment he was done and gave her a wide smile. She gave him a smile back. ''My turn.''

"Hmm yes." He placed a kiss on her lips. "Lay down."

She did as he said. He added some sun block on her back, starting to rub it in, massaging. ''Hmm.'' He smiled, massaging her back lightly, not too hard.

''That feels nice.''

"Good, it's meant to." He placed a kiss on the nape of her neck.

''Hmmm.''

He carried on the massage after adding a bit more sun block, massaging lower.

''Der...''

"Yes babe?" He whispered softly, his hands rubbing her back.

''Hmmm.'' Was her response. He placed few more kisses on her shoulders as he massaged a bit harder. She relaxed under his touch. He rubbed at the few tense spots in circles gently. She arched her back. He grinned, loving the effect these little things had on her, giving a kiss on her shoulder again. This made her smile. He carried on massaging her back until all the sun block had been rubbed in. ''Hmm.'' He placed multiple kisses on her back once he stopped the massage.

''Done?''

"Yeah." He answered, few more light kisses hitting her shoulder.

''Your back now.''

He grinned before he laid down on his stomach. She chuckled, sitting on his butt.

"Addie!" He laughed, smiling widely.

''What?''

"I like you on my butt." He replied simply, still smiling.

''Hmm usually it should be the other way around.'' She joked, putting some sun block on his tanned back. He laughed at her, grinning widely. "Yeah it is." She started massaging his back. His eyes fell closed, her hands moving on his back just the way he wanted them to. Her hands rubbed his sides.

''Like that?''

He nodded his head. "Yeah, very much."

''Don't get excited though.''

"Hmm I'll try not to, just don't go too low then." He replied. She teasingly did so anyway.

"Addie!" He gasped, controlling himself.

''Yes?''

"Oh you're bad." He mumbled.

''I can be badder.''

"Oh yeah?" He tried not to think about it, not right now.

''Hmhmm wanna know?''

"Addie... you know what that'll do to me..."

''Hmm I do.''

He grinned. "Maybe you can tell me later tonight."

''What about now?''

"We're on a beach Addison.."

''I noticed.''

"Hmm yeah?" He mumbled.

''Hmhmm.''

"Hmmm, you can massage a bit harder."

''Where?'' She grinned.

"Where what?" He bit on his lip.

''Where do you want me to massage harder?''

"Hmm my back, just a bit higher." He replied.

''Higher?'' She pouted.

"We're still on a beach Addie." He could hear her pout.

''Right.''

He smiled, making a kiss me sound with his lips, his head turned to the other side. She bent down to peck his lips. He captured her lips with his, giving her a kiss. She smiled against his lips. He slowly pulled back from the kiss, one more light kiss placed on her lips. She started to massage his shoulders. "Hmm." His eyes closed again. She massaged him a little harder.

"Yes just there." He bit on his lip.

''Hmm.''

He smiled at her. She smiled as well.

"You're very good at this you know?"

''I am?''

"Yeah, very, very, good." He nodded his head.

''Hmm good, but I'm done.''

"Mean." He pouted sadly at her.

''Hmm I'm not.'' She lied down on his back.

"Hmm you are sometimes." He mumbled, letting his hand brush her thigh.

''Not!''

"Are too!" He grinned.

''Shut up.''

"I am if you kiss me."

''No.''

He pouted like a three year old. "If I say please?"

''Nope.''

"If I say you're not mean and that you're the sweetest person I've ever met?"

''Nope.''

"Then how do I get a kiss?"

''You don't.''

"I love you." He smiled.

''I love you too.''

He laid his head on the towel, softly brushing her thigh.

''This is comfortable.''

"Yeah, I love this." He smiled, his whole body relaxed under hers.

''Me too.''

He just enjoyed their closeness.

''You're not going to tan like this though.''

"I'll live with that." He smiled widely.

''Hmm good.''

He smiled, it really was comfortable. "People might look at us in a weird way though." He pointed out. "But I don't care."

''Me either.''

"Good." He took her hand in his, giving hers a soft kiss.

''You have a really comfortable back and butt.''

He laughed at her statement. "Why thank you, I hope that's a good thing."

''Definitely comes out handy at the moment.''

He grinned softly, linking their fingers together. "Good that you're comfortable."

''I am.''

He carried on moving his hand on her smooth thigh.

''I'm not crushing you right? Am I too heavy?''

"No you're not too heavy and no you're not crushing me babe." He replied with a smile.

''Really?''

"Really Addison, you're not crushing me at all."

''When I am, tell me okay?''

"I will but I have a feeling I don't have to."

''Why?''

"Because baby, you're not heavy at all."

''Der?''

"Yeah Addi?"

''I miss the twins...''

"Aw." He gave a little sweet smile. "We can call them if you want to."

''Yeah?''

"Yeah." He nodded at her.

''Hmmm.''

"You wanna call them?" He asked.

''Kinda, yeah...''

"Okay, now?"

''Mhm.''

He reached for the bag, looking for his cell phone. Addison waited patiently. He looked for Caleb's number, soon finding it and handing the phone to his wife.

''Thanks.'' She took it and held it up against her ear.

"No problem." He smiled and a few moments later Caleb picked up.

"Hello?"

''Hey.''

"Addison." Her father smiled widely at the sound of her voice.

''Yeah.''

"How are you? How's the date going?"

''Good, good.''

"Great." Caleb nodded to himself as he watched the kids play.

''So... how are my kiddies?''

Derek chuckled at the choice of her words.

"Good, we just ate a bit and now they're playing here. You want to talk to them?"

''Yes, please.''

"Wait a moment." Caleb called the kids and soon they jumped on the couch and Addison could hear him warning them about jumping on couches, telling them they shouldn't do that. She waited on the phone.

Few moments later her daughter's cheery voice was heard. "MOMMY?"

''Hey baby!''

"Hi!" Hailey grinned widely and curled up in a ball.

''How are you honey?''

"Good! We're having sooo much fun! Justin even promised to play with Barbies!"

''Really? Wow.''

"Yes! I was sooo surprised."

''So you're having fun?''

"A lot! Are you having fun with daddy?"

''Yeah.'' Addison smiled. ''But we miss you.''

"I miss you too! Is daddy there?"

''Yeah he is.''

"HI DADDY!" The little girl yelled to the phone.

''Bug says hi.'' Addison whispered to her husband.

"Hi Buggie." Derek said to the phone so that the little girl heard it.

"YAY!" Hailey grinned. Addison smiled.

"I loves you mommy." Hailey said.

''I love you too baby, more than anything.''

"I love mommy too!" Justin yelled from the other side of the couch. Addison smiled widely at this. ''I love you too Jussie baby.''

"Mommy loves you too." Hailey covered the phone with her hand as she said this.

''Mommy loves Justin!'' The little boy exclaimed happily. Caleb chuckled at them and Hailey grinned. "Ya!"

She smiled. ''Can I have Jussie too honey?''

"Yeah! Jussie mommy has a thing for you!" She handed the phone to her brother.

''Hey honey.''

"Hey mommy!" He exclaimed, smiling widely.

''How are you sweetie?''

"Good! Grandpa said I could watch Bob The Builder if I act nicely!"

''And are you acting nicely?''

"Yes! I promise I am!"

''Good boy.''

"Yes I am!" He said proudly. Addison smiled.

"Where are you?" Justin asked.

''At the beach.''

"Are you going to swim?" He asked, smiling.

''Yeah, later.''

"Oh!" He smiled. "What else are you going to do?"

''We're going out to a dinner honey.''

"Oh, that sounds boring."

''It's not.''

"No?" He furrowed his eyebrows together.

''It's fun, but honey, I have to hang up now.''

"Nooo." He pouted at his mother.

''Yes sweetie.''

"Fine then." He was still pouting.

''Give Hailey a kiss for me.''

"Oki!" He replied, smiling a bit. "Bye mommy!"

''Bye honey, take care of grandpa Caleb and Bug.''

"I will! Bye mommy!" The little boy handed the phone to Caleb who closed it.

"Feeling better?" Derek asked his wife softly.

''Hmhmm I do.'' She smiled and gave him the phone, moving off of him.

"Good." He smiled as well, putting the phone into the bag before looking at her. She laid down next to him. ''They're almost three...''

"Yeah, they're growing up..." He nodded. "I can't believe it's three years already, well soon it'll be three years."

''Hmmm... seems like yesterday I got pregnant.''

"Yeah?" He gave her a smile, taking her hand in his.

"Hmhmmm."


	37. Flashbacks to the Truth

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 37 __– Flashbacks to the truth_

_Flashback:_

_Early in the morning they went through the normal routines, he woke up with his wife in his arms, they made some breakfast for the two of them and then the newest addition to this followed. She ran into the bathroom, covering her mouth.__ She hung over the toilet, throwing up her breakfast. He followed her just a moment later, holding her hair. ''Oh god...'' He pressed a kiss on the nape of her neck, his other hand rubbing her shoulder. She slowly got up from the floor and flushed the toilet._

_"Feeling any better?" He asked, looking at her._

_''No.'' She walked past him and grabbed her toothbrush._

_"Honey this has been going on for days already." He looked at her through the mirror now._

_''It's the weather.'' She said with a mouthful of toothpaste._

_"The weather doesn't do these things to you." He shook his head._

_''I have the flu.''_

_"You sure? You know this might be something else, you're making me quite worried." He said softly._

_''What?''_

_"Maybe you should go to the doctors or something soon-ish."_

_''Why would I?'' She spit out the toothpaste._

_"If it's something serious, I don't know." He placed a kiss on her neck._

_''It's probably just the flu Der.''_

_"But still, if it won't pass, you promise you'll go?" He asked softly._

_''No.''_

_"Baby..." He gave her a little look._

_''What?''_

_"What if it isn't flu?"_

_''What else would it be?''_

_"I don't know..." He had thought about this for few days. "You could be.. umm.. pregnant."_

_''What?'' She looked at him in shock._

_"I... I don't know! It's one possibility, we do have a lot of sex and it could happen.." He replied, biting his lip._

_''I'm on the freaking pill you moron!''_

_"Don't call me a moron! And it could be possible."_

_''No it cannot be.''_

_"You could have forgotten to take the pill."_

_''I haven't.''_

_"You 100__ % sure?"_

_''Yes Derek, I'm 100% sure, how stupid do you think I am?''_

_"I didn't say you were stupid. God Addison, I'm just listing options."_

_''Being pregnant isn't an option.''_

_"Fine, I just thought it could be that, you're nauseas every morning so yeah. Kinda makes me think that."_

_''It's the flu Derek, it's been going around.''_

_"Sure, I hope so." He leaned against the sink._

_''Excuse me?''_

_"Flu sounds much better than pregnancy." He replied._

_''I'm not pregnant so drop it damn it!''_

_"God Addison, just get a freaking test."_

_''No__, why?'' She looked at him as if he was insane._

_"Because IF, and I'm not saying you are, if you are pregnant we'd know about it." He looked into her eyes._

_''I'm not, I'm not going to waste my money and time on something ridiculous like that.''_

_"Could you for like 30 seconds think about the possibility of being pregnant? It'd make sense. We have sex, you're on the pill, we're reading for exams and stressed, you might have forgotten to take the pill."_

_''Derek, I'd notice if I forgot, the days are written above the pills.''_

_"Addie, are you absolutely sure you haven't forgotten to take a pill?"_

_''Yes, I am__ 100% sure.''_

_"We could still get a test."_

_''No.''_

_"Please Addison, what if you're pregnant?" _

_''I'm not!''_

"_You could be!"_

_''HOW?''_

_"God Addison we have sex, it's very possible you'd be pregnant."_

_''I'm on the pill Derek!'' She yelled._

_"You're__ human Addison! You could have missed a pill or something, just buy a test so we can stop yelling about this in the bathroom!"_

_''I just told you that I would have noticed if I had missed one! So no, I'm not getting a freaking test!''_

_"Damn it Addison seriously, what's so horrible about getting a test? It's simple and if you're not pregnant, good for you. I just can't be assed to fight about this so just get a god damn test so that we can be sure."_

_''No.'' Was her final answer before she left the bathroom._

_"Addison!" He called after her before following her. "Why is it so hard to get a test?"_

_''Because there is no chance that I'm pregnant!''_

_"We're having sex, there's always a chance!" He sighed, not understanding why she was being this stubborn about this._

_''Don't you think I know that?''_

_"Just get the damn test then!"_

_''Why Derek? Why do you think I'm pregnant?''_

_"You've been vomiting for the past week. You might not be pregnant but it's possible."_

_Addison sighed loudly and rubbed her forehead._

_"I'm sorry Addison, but I think we should get a test."_

_''Will you shut up about it then?''_

_"Yes, I promise."_

_''Fine then, whatever.''_

_"Good, thank you." He couldn't help but flash a little smile. She just sighed. Derek looked at his wife._

_''What?''_

_"Nothing really. When do you want to go get the test?" He crossed his arms._

_''I don't know.''_

_"Today?" He suggested._

_''Whatever.''_

_"Okay." He nodded. "I'm gonna finish my breakfast, join me if you still want some."_

_''No thanks.''_

_"Yeah thought so." He walked towards the kitchen which wasn't too far in their tiny little apartment._

_''Why?''_

_"Logical, you just threw up your breakfast, you might not want more." He sat down._

_''Right.''_

_"Yeah." He started eating his omelette again._

_''Der?''_

_"Yes?" He asked, looking up to her._

_''Do you...'' She looked at him. ''Do you really think I'm pregnant?''_

"_I think… what I think is that there's a chance you __might be." He replied honestly. "Do you… are we… what if you are... pregnant?"_

_''What?''_

_"I don't know. I just... what if you're pregnant? What happens?"_

_''What what happens?''_

_"What happens? Are you... happy?" He didn't even know what he was asking._

_''Happy with what?''_

_"I don't know okay? I just... what if you're pregnant? Will you be happy about it or be mad at me and throw me with sharp objects?"_

_''I won't be pregnant.''_

_"How can you be so sure?"_

_''Because I'm on the pill and I'm 21.''_

_"And being 21 helps you how?"_

_''I don't know, just pointing out.''_

_"Exactly. Addison you might be pregnant, that's one possibility." He said, nodding to himself._

_''How Derek?''_

_"I'm not a doctor, yet. But the pill is not 100% safe. It might happen. I don't know everything."_

_''It's like 99%.''_

_"Yes, it's not 100__%, so there's a teeny tiny chance you might get pregnant."_

_''Der.'' She sighed._

_"Look I'm sorry but we have to talk about this."_

_''When it's positive, which it won't be, then we can talk.''_

_"Fine, let's talk about it then." He took a sip of his coffee._

_''Thanks.''_

_"Welcome." He replied shortly, looking at her._

_''What?''_

_"What what?" He asked, still looking at her._

_''Never mind...''_

_He sighed, placing his coffee mug on the table._

_''You're not going to be a father Derek, not now.''_

_"I'm not?" He asked, rubbing his face tiredly so that the little stubble scratched his hand._

_''No.''_

_"What if you're pregnant?" He asked._

_''Honey, I'm not.''_

_He sighed. "Okay, sure." _

_''Der...'' She started cautiously. ''Do you want me to be pregnant or something?''_

_"I don't know actually, I think it's not the best time for this but if you are... it wouldn't be that bad. It'd be quite... good. I've always wanted to start a family with you and I know it's soon but... if you're pregnant... I think I'd be quite happy. What about you?" He asked after he had rambled out his answer._

_''I wouldn't be happy.''_

_"Yeah, I thought so." He sighed._

_''I'm 21.''_

_"I know you are, it's pretty young."_

_''It's too young.''_

_"Yeah? I know it's not the best time to have a baby."_

_''Yeah...'' She nodded. ''Will you be sad, or angry?''_

_"Probably, it would be our baby and... yeah sad and angry would probably be what I'd feel like."_

_''Oh...''_

_"Yeah..." He looked into the now empty coffee mug._

_''We have time Derek.''_

_"Yeah but it'd still be our baby. I don't think abortion would be the best idea."_

_''Abortion?''_

_"What? I thought you... you were talking... I thought you didn't want to have the baby if you're pregnant." _

_''NO!''_

_"You're confusing me very much at the moment." He shook his head. "If you're pregnant, will we keep the baby?"_

_''Derek, how can you even ask me that?'' Addison was offended._

_"I'm sorry, I just... you were talking like... the way you were talking sounded like you wouldn't want to... keep it. I'm sorry sweetie."_

_''Never, never.'' She shook her head._

_"Addison..." He looked up at her._

_''Yeah?'' She looked back at him._

_"I think we should go buy the test as soon as possible." He said calmly, biting on his lip just lightly after he had said it._

_''Yeah...''_

_"I'm sorry about thinking you would... do that." He sighed._

_''I wouldn't ever do that Derek.''_

_"Yeah... I know." He sighed, shaking his head before he finished his breakfast._

_''Do you want to go now?''_

_"Yeah. I do." He nodded, getting up from the seat._

_''Just don't get any hopes up okay?''_

_"Okay." He sighed, nodding again. "Give me a kiss?" _

_She pecked his lips. He pecked hers back softly. "Let's go then."_

_''Yeah...''_

_He sighed before they walked into the small hall. He took her coat from the hanger._

_'"Thanks.''_

_"No problem." He helped her get dressed in it before he put on his own coat._

_They left to the store.__ A while later they found themselves in front of a drugstore._

_Addison sighed as a minute later they stood in front of the shelves with the pregnancy tests. He scanned the shelves, running a hand through his hair. Addison sighed. He sighed as well just a moment later. "Which one?"_

_''I have no idea.''_

_"Me neither." He just looked at them. "There are so many."_

_''Yeah...''_

_"God... how do we choose one?"_

_''I really don't know...__ I don't want this.''_

_"What do you mean you don't want this?"_

_''To do this test.''_

_''I know, sorry. But it's the only way to find out."_

_''Yeah...''_

_"Umm... which one do you think is the best?" He asked a while later._

_''All of them, I don't know, you choose.''_

_"I'm a guy." He pointed out the very obvious. "How am I supposed to choose a test?"_

_''Why should I know then?''_

_"You have the right parts." He shrugged. She rolled her eyes and sighed. ''Let's get this one then.''_

_"Yeah?" He looked at the one she was holding, feeling relieved for not having to choose._

_''I guess.''_

_"Okay then." He answered and they started walking towards the cash register._

_She took his hand.__ He walked a bit closer to her, lacing their fingers together. She rested her head against his shoulder. Derek placed a kiss on her red curls before they reached the cash register. She felt herself getting nervous._

_"Hey." Derek greeted the guy behind the counter, taking the test from Addison, placing it on the counter._

_''Good morning Sir.'' He took the test and scanned it.__ Derek gave a little nervous smile to him, giving Addison's hand a subconscious little squeeze. She simply looked down._

_''That would be $15,95 please.''_

_Derek let go of her hand, taking his wallet, paying him with a $20 bill._

_''Thank you.'' He gave back the change. Derek gave a little smile. "Have a good day." He said before they started walking out of the store. Addison walked behind him quietly. He waited for her, taking her hand in his silently, not saying one word. She looked at the pavement. He bit on his lip nervously while they walked._

_They soon reached their apartment, a little too soon for her at that moment. He sighed a bit before opening the door, turning the key he had put into the lock. They stepped into the apartment. She silently hung up her coat. They both were quiet, not saying anything. He shrugged off his coat. She sighed and rubbed her face. He put away his coat, looking at her after he did. She looked up at him. He bit on his lip slightly. "Are we going to do this now?"_

_''I guess.''_

_"Oh... okay." He nodded, still looking at her._

_''Okay?'' She raised her eyebrow at him._

_"Yeah. We're actually doing this... well you are but I'm here, you know?" He rambled slightly._

_''Don't Derek.''_

_"What?"_

_''Don't give me the 'I'm here with you, no matter what' speech. Because right now, I'm not okay, I'm freaking out and that's your fault because there is no way that I'm pregnant.''_

_"Addison you know it's possible, I just wanted you to know I'm here for you." He replied before looking down to the floor._

_''Don't.''_

_"Fine, just do the test okay?"_

_''I will.'' She took the test out of the bag and went upstairs._

_He watched as she went, leaning against the wall. Should he go or not? A few seconds later he decided to stay, he'd just freak her out or something.__ The house was quiet for at least a two minutes. Now it was his turn to freak out. He got up from the couch and started walking circles in the little living room. After a few seconds a yell was heard from upstairs. He looked up, starting to walk towards the sound. "Addie?"_

_''DEREK!''_

_"Are you alright?" He practically ran up the stairs, two steps at the time._

_''If you think me having a heart attack is alright then yes!''_

_He opened the bathroom door.__ She was standing there shaking. He looked at her, his eyes widening. "What is it?"_

_''I- it's positive.''_

_His face dropped, his heart skipping a beat or two. "What?"_

_''It's positive!'' She yelled._

_"It's positive." He repeated. "Holy crap it's positive."_

_''Oh my fucking god!'' She cursed._

_"It's fucking positive." He closed his eyes, feeling like he was going to pass out any minute. "Oh my god."_

_Addison's hands were still shaking, holding the test._

_"Are you sure?" He asked, taking some support from the wall._

_''No I'm not sure, I'm joking here because it's so funny!''_

_"Hey no need to be mean! I'm just asking because it's wow..." He rubbed his forehead._

_''No it's horrible!''_

_"Oh god you're pregnant." He mumbled._

_''I can't believe this.''_

_"Wow..." He shook his head. "This is..."_

_''Too absurd for words.''_

_"Oh my god." He rubbed his chin with his hand. She walked out of the bathroom._

_"Where are you going?"_

_''The doctor's.''_

_"Like now?"_

_''Yes, now.''_

"_Oh, okay" He replied, following her._

_They left for the doctor's.__ Sometime later a doctor led them into a room. Addison let out a nervous sigh as she walked into the room. Derek took her hand in his slowly, giving it a squeeze. _

_"Hi I'm Dr. Smith." The doctor introduced himself._

_''Addison Shepherd.'' She shook his hand._

_"Derek Shepherd." He momentarily let go of Addison's hand and shook the doctor's. Dr. Smith nodded at them, motioning towards the chair. "So what are you here for Mrs. Shepherd?"_

_''Erhm...'' She sat down on the chair. ''I'd like to get a blood test done... because I think I'm pregnant.''_

_"Oh... what makes you think so?" The doctor asked as he got some supplies for the blood test._

_''I took a pregnancy test earlier and it turned out to be positive.''_

_"Okay, so how old are you?" He watched them as Derek stood behind her, biting on his lip nervously._

_''Twenty-one.''_

_"Was this a planned pregnancy?" He asked. "Roll up your sleeve." The doctor advised as he put on his gloves._

_''No.'' She responded, rolling up her sleeve as he told her to. Derek nodded at her answer. "Okay." The doctor took her arm and started._

_She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.__ Derek placed his hand on her shoulder, giving it a light squeeze as the doctor drew some blood. She tilted her head to the side to look at her husband. He gave a little kiss on her forehead. "It'll be okay." He whispered softly._

_''I hope so.'' She whispered back. He nodded a little, resting his forehead against hers. The doctor rolled her sleeve down again._

_The same day Derek and Addison were sat in his parents' living room. His fingers were linked with hers and in the inside he felt all bubbly and happy. Addison on the other side, was feeling the complete opposite. His fingers softly played with hers as he watched his father step into the room. Gabriel gave them a smile and put the coffee mugs down. Derek gave Addison a quick look as he picked up his mug, smiling at Gabriel. "Thanks."_

_''No problem.'' He sat down next to his wife. Theresa leaned against his husband's chest, watching his son and his wife. Addison uncomfortably picked up her mug._

_"Addie, sweetie, you can't drink that..." Derek mumbled at her, giving her a quick look.__ She shot him a look._

_"Honey I'm serious." He said, trying to ignore the look he was getting from her._

_''Derek, shut up.'' She hissed._

_"Fine Addison." He replied, looking away from her, moving his gaze to his parents._

_''Is something wrong honey?'' Theresa asked her son._

_"No nothing's wrong." He replied, giving her a smile. "Nothing at all."_

_''Alright then.''_

_Derek nodded, taking a sip of coffee._

_"Are you sure?" Gabriel looked between the couple._

_''Yes.'' Addison said annoyed._

_"Yeah." Derek replied, taking few more sips of coffee. Gabriel raised his eyebrows slightly._

_''Would you like some cookies?''_

_"Yeah, sure." Derek made a smile, nodding. She smiled and got up._

_"Need any help?" Derek asked, almost wishing she'd say yes so that he'd have a reason to leave the room._

_''Sure honey.''_

_"Okay." Derek nodded and got up from the couch, placing his coffee mug on the table. Theresa walked into the kitchen. He followed her quickly, not looking ay Addison. Once they were in the kitchen Theresa turned to her son. ''Honey?''_

_"Yes mom?" He asked, his arms crossed, not knowing how he should feel._

_''Is everything okay between you and Addie?''_

_"Yeah, yeah, we're okay." He nodded, a little smile tugging at his lips before he sighed. "I think we're okay."_

_''Really?''_

_"I... yes... something happened and yeah. I think we're okay." He nervously started fumbling with his fingers._

_''Do you want to talk about it?''_

_"I don't know really, I'd want to but Addison... she'd kill me." He replied._

_''Why?'' Theresa frowned._

_"I-" Should he tell her? "She's... we'rehavingababy."_

_''WHAT?''_

_He took a deep breath. "Mom... we're having a baby."_

_''Derek you're kidding, tell me you are.''_

_"I wish I was." He replied, shifting uncomfortably._

_''Oh. dear. god.''_

_"Maybe you should sit down or something."_

_She nodded her head as she sat down in shock. Her only son, her only, twenty-one year old son, was having a baby. He leaned against the counter, watching her as he bit on his lip. Once again he crossed his arms. "Mom... are you alright?" _

_''She can't be pregnant Der. I was the one who got her on the pill when you two still dated...''_

_"She was__ nauseas for like few days and today I made her do the test and... it was positive. We went to the doctors and he took the blood test and... yeah..." He mumbled._

_''Dear god, Derek.''_

_"Mom..." He shook his head, watching her reaction to this.__ Theresa looked up at her son._

_"We're having a baby." He said under his breath._

_''Do you want this?''_

_"I think I do." He simply answered. "But the question is... does she? I know she'll have this baby... but will she be happy is a whole other thing."_

_''How did she react to it then?''_

_"I don't know exactly but... you saw how she was acting towards me there."_

_''Well... it's a shock...''_

_"Yeah...__ what did you do when you found out that you were pregnant with Nancy?" He asked quietly, he needed to know if it was just Addison or if all women felt like this._

_''Well I was 25, and we were trying for a family Derek.''_

_"God..." He rubbed his forehead. "How did this happen? This wasn't supposed to happen, not now."_

_''Are you having it?''_

_"Of course, I mean... yes I think." He mumbled, rubbing his forehead._

_''You think?''_

_''It is.''_

_"And she's not the kinda woman who just goes and... does that." He shook his head._

_''You sure?''_

_"She's my wife."_

_''She is.''_

_"Holy crap we're having a baby." He mumbled, looking at her._

_''You have to tell your father.''_

_"Oh god are you serious? She's going to kill me."_

_''Well yes Derek.''_

_"I can't tell him now! I just can't tell him that we're having a baby." _

_''Don't make me keep this secret.''_

_"Mom you can't make me tell him."_

_''He's your father.''_

_"I wasn't even supposed to tell you yet."_

_''Derek, we're your parents, please.''_

_"She's going to kill me in my sleep with a pillow."_

_''Please.''_

_Derek sighed shaking his head. "Mom..."_

_She gave him a pleading look._

_"Fine." He simply replied. He really couldn't say no._

_''Give me a hug.''_

_He took a step towards her and wrapped his arms around her mother. She hugged him tightly. ''My baby is having a baby.''_

_"I'm not your baby anymore..." He smiled, resting his head on her shoulder._

_''You'll always be my baby.''_

_He let out a little laugh, smiling. "Good to know."_

_''You can do this.''_

_"I hope so..." He whispered, nodding his head._

_''I know so. How far is she honey?''_

_"I... only few weeks." He replied, shrugging._

_''Der?''_

_"What?" He asked._

_''Doesn't she take the pill anymore?''_

_"She said she hasn't missed any pills." He answered, pulling back from the hug._

_''You take after the Shepherd's men then.'' Theresa sighed loudly._

_"What do you mean?" He asked, furrowing his eyebrows together._

_''Well...'' She sighed. ''The Shepherd men all have strong sperm.''_

_"Ew__ I did not need to know that mom." He screwed up his face._

_''Well, it's true Derek.''_

_"Could we like... stop talking about sperm?" He didn't really want to know about his father's sperm__ or his uncle's sperm, nor anyone else's sperm._

_''Twins also run in the family, as you know.'' He had twin sisters._

_"Maybe I'm an exception." Oh dear god, please._

_''I hope so for you.''_

_"Oh gosh..." He shook his head._

_''Don't think about that now okay?''_

_He slowly nodded. "Yeah, I shouldn't think about those things now. But really? You want me to tell dad?"_

_''Yes Derek.''_

_He nodded. "We should go back before they start worrying."_

_''Yeah.'' She gave him one more quick hug and kissed his cheek.__ He gave her a kiss on the cheek as well. "The cookies." He reminded her after the hug ended._

_''Oh right.'' She quickly got them. ''I love you Derek, I trust in you.''_

_"I love you too mom." He replied quietly before they walked back into the living room._

_Addison and Gabriel were in a conversation.__ Derek watched them from the doorway, suddenly afraid._

_''Come on.'' Theresa whispered to him.__ Derek gave a little smile, following her further into the room._

_''Gabriel, Derek and Addison have something to tell you.''_

_Derek's eyes widened slightly, wow this came a lot sooner than he had thought. Addison looked at Derek shocked._

_"What is it?" Gabriel smiled, looking at Addison and then at Derek.__ She shot him a 'don't you dare' look. He sighed. "Dad, Addison's pregnant."_

_''What?''_

_"She's pregnant." He repeated._

_''DEREK!'' Addison hit her husband._

_"Ouch!" He rubbed the spot. "Don't you hit me!"_

_''I told you not to tell!''_

_"I only told mom who told me to tell dad! Besides you know she would have told dad anyway!"_

_''Then why the hell did you tell her?''_

_"She's my mother for god's sake! Of course I told her!"_

_''We only just found out!''_

_"She asked if we were okay since you were giving me glares and ignoring me the best you could!"_

_She shook her head at him, getting up._

_"Addison..." He shook his head._

_''Leave me alone.''_

_"Addison." He raised his voice slightly._

_''NO!''_

_"Addison please." He looked at her._

_''No.''_

_"Addie..." He bit on his lip._

_''Addison.'' Theresa tried as well._

_''No.''_

_"Addison please don't do this now."_

_She left the living room upset._


	38. All He Heard Was Nothing

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 38 - All He Heard Was Nothing_

He linked his arm with hers before they stepped into a restaurant later that day. She was resting her head against his shoulder. He placed a kiss on the top of her head lazily as a man approached them.

''Hello, welcome.'' He greeted them with a warm smile.

"Hello, we have a reservation under Shepherd, Derek Shepherd." Derek gave him a smile back, unconsciously holding his wife a bit tighter.

''Alright, let me take a look Sir.''

"Thank you." Derek said before looking at Addison, giving her a smile.

''Shepherd, right, let me take you to your table.''

"Okay." Derek nodded and soon they were led to a table.

Addison smiled at him as she sat down. He sat down as well, taking her hand in his softly, looking into her eyes smiling. She leaned in and gave him a long kiss. He kissed her back the entire time, their lips belonged together. She smiled against his lips. He pecked her lips a few times once the kiss had ended. She sat back in her seat and smiled. Derek smiled as well, brushing her hand with his. 'I love you.' He mouthed.

''I love you too.'' She whispered. His fingers started playing with hers.

"I wouldn't change you for anything." He whispered, giving a kiss on her hand.

''Me either.''

He smiled, leaning over the table once again, giving her a kiss on the lips. She smiled at him. A few moments later a waitress appeared to their table and Derek sat down.

''Hello, can I take your orders?''

"Umm... babe what do you want?" He asked, looking at her.

''Hmm I'd like the chicken salad please.''

"Wouldn't you like something else, something more... filling maybe?" He asked, raising his eyebrows slightly.

''No, the salad sounds good.''

Derek gave a little sigh, he couldn't argue about this right now. "I'll take um... the Italian dish." He pointed at something on the menu.

''Okay.'' The waitress nodded. ''What would you like to drink with that?''

"Umm... do you want water?" He asked.

''Yes please.''

"Mind if I take a glass of wine?"

''Of course not.''

"Good. Which wine would recommend to go with the food?" He looked at the waitress.

''Well I can highly recommend our dry white wine.''

"Okay, I'll take a glass of that please." He smiled at her before turning to look at Addison.

''Great.'' She gave him a smile and left.

He smiled at Addison. "Hmm, this is nice."

''Yeah it is.''

"I really hope you don't mind the wine." He said honestly.

''You're not the one pregnant.'' She laughed at her husband. "It's fine."

"Still." He shrugged. "It just seems a little unfair to me but if you don't mind..."

''I don't.''

"Okay good." He gave a smile and played with her hand. She gave him a smile.

"So..." He started, trying to start a conversation.

''Yeah?''

"Are we picking up the kids after this?"

''I guess so.''

"Okay." He smiled at her.

''I miss them.''

"I know you do. You always miss them." He said softly.

''I know...''

"Yeah..." He brought his hand to her cheek, brushing it softly.

''Don't you?''

"I do a little... they're my babies, of course I do. But... I also love spending time with you, alone."

''Yeah...''

He brushed her cheek softly, smiling.

''I love you.''

"I love you more"

''You do not.'' Addison chuckled softly.

He grinned. "Oh I do."

''No.''

"I doo." He was now smiling sweetly. The waitress came with their food. Derek smiled at her. "Thank you."

''Thanks.'' Addison said as well.

"You're welcome." The waitress flashed a smiled and walked away from their table.

''Enjoy.''

"You too." He smiled softly and picked up his fork.

''Thanks.'' She did the same.

He began to eat, watching her while doing so. She ate her salad. They carried on eating normally, every now and then saying something, smiling, holding hands. They soon finished their food.

"Do you want dessert?" He asked softly.

''No thank you, I'm full.'' She lied.

"You sure?" He asked again, his fingers linked together with hers.

''Yeah thanks.''

"Okay then." He nodded, giving her a little smile. She gave him a smile back.

"You wanna go then?" He asked, looking around for their waitress.

''Yeah we still have to pick up the kids.''

"Okay then." He smiled, and got the waitress' attention, who soon made her way to their table. She gave them the bill. They paid and a while later they were ready to leave the restaurant. Addison got up from the table. A moment later he got up as well.

Just as she started to walk, she suddenly went black. He watched her body collapse on the floor with a thumb. The whole restaurant turned around shocked. "Addison?" He realised the situation a second later, rushing over to her. Addison's body lay limply against the floor. "Addison?" He tried to wake her up, shaking her body slightly while his heart ached for her. She didn't move. "Addison?" People gathered around them and tried to wake her. "Addison!" He tried once more desperately, his own hands shaking. "Addison please!" She still didn't move. After a few minutes an ambulance arrived. He watched as the paramedics arrived, as he tried to assure himself this was a bad dream. They put her on a bran card. "Oh my god.. oh my god..." He mumbled under his breath. They started to leave the restaurant.

"This is all my fault." He shook his head, unable to breathe normally. The paramedics got her into the ambulance. He got into the ambulance with them, holding Addison's hand. Soon they reached the hospital. The paramedics got her out of the ambulance carefully and Derek followed them into the hospital. They soon admitted her. He didn't move from her side, biting on his lip. "Oh god..."

''Sir, we have to remove you from this room.''

"No! No! I'm not leaving her!" He protested.

''Yes you are, we have to take some tests.''

"I'm her husband! You can't make me leave, please, she's pregnant!"

''She is pregnant?''

He nodded his head multiple times. "Oh my god... she's going to be okay, right?"

''How far along is she?''

"Almost 12 weeks." He managed to say, rubbing his face.

''Do you have any idea what made her collapse?''

"I... she hasn't been eating well." He shook his head, clearly in shock.

''What do you mean?''

"She lost a lot of weight before she got pregnant and she... she hasn't been eating well since we found out either. I don't... I should have... I couldn't..."

''Does she have an eating disorder?''

"I... I don't know." He replied, shaking his head.

''Sir, how can you not know?'' The paramedic asked with a slightly raised eyebrow, making Derek feel uncomfortable to answer.

"I... she... I think she does." He sighed, rubbing his forehead. The paramedic wrote it down. It was official now. Derek shook his head once again.

''Now, seriously, we have to run tests.''

"I..." Derek slowly let go of her hand.

''Give her some privacy.''

Derek shook his head and began walking away, feeling like he'd be sick any minute. The paramedics started to run tests on his wife. He couldn't even think properly, the only thing that popped into his mind was his mother. He grabbed his cell phone, dialling her number.

''Theresa Shepherd.'' She answered.

He couldn't really say anything, his breathing heavy. "Mom…"

''Derek?''

"I..." He shook his head.

''Derek, what's wrong? It's 2 am.''

"We're... we're in a hospital." He managed to say.

''A hospital? What's going on?'' His mother asked hurriedly.

"Addie... she... passed out."

''HOW?''

"We were... at the restaurant." He gulped loudly. "She got up and... now we're here.."

''What happened?''

"I... I think... I think she has anorexia."

''Are you serious?''

"Would I joke about something like this?"

''Derek, what the hell is going on here? I told you to look after her!''

"I know you did! I did! But... I couldn't... she's..." He was so close to throwing the cell phone against the wall.

''She's what?''

"She's... I couldn't. They're taking some tests." He whispered, walking out of the hospital, sitting on a bench.

''Where are the kids?''

"With Caleb..." He shook his head, trying to calm down.

''Oh.''

"Oh god..." He placed a hand on his forehead.

''She'll be alright.''

"You don't know that! What if she won't!"

''She will Derek.'' Theresa answered calmly.

"What if she won't be okay?"

''She will be.''

"I love her! She's my wife! She can't just..." He bit on his lip hard.

''She won't.''

He shook his head powerfully. "I need her... she can't... what if... oh my god..."

''Derek. Calm down. Right now.''

He shook his head. "I can't damn it! My wife could die! Our baby could die!"

''They won't.''

"Damn it! Fuck!" He cursed loudly, running a hand through his hair.

''Honey.''

"NO! They can't die! I love her! I can't live without her! FUCK!"

''They won't die.''

"What if they do? I can't deal with the twins alone!"

''I promise they won't.''

"You can't make such promises!"

''Please Derek.''

He shook his head. "I can't do this, I... she's... what if.." He broke down in tears. Theresa sighed. She didn't know what to do. He shut his eyes closed tightly. "I should... have... done some... something."

''It's her body, you can't make her do anything against her will.''

"I... love... she... can't…" His voice trailed off.

''She won't.''

He shook his head again before his body began shaking. "She can't..."

''I promise.''

"I'm scared." He confessed in a whisper through his tears.

''I know you are.''

"I don't want to…"

''You have to stay strong for her.''

"I can't..." He shook his head as the tears fell down his cheeks.

''Try Der.''

He slowly nodded, gulping loudly, biting back his tears.

''I love you Der. I wish I was there but I'm not. You can do this.''

He nodded. "I wish you were here."

''Me too sweetheart.'' Theresa was at the verge of tears.

"Fuck..." He shook his head, mumbling something about how he should have done something under his breath.

''You're strong, Addison is strong.''

"I'm not strong. I used to be! I'm not anymore… I wasn't… I should have seen the signs…" He shook his head powerfully.

''It's not too late.''

"Damn it..." He whispered, his eyes shut tightly.

''You can do it right this time.''

"What if... what if it's too late?"

''It isn't Derek.''

"I'm so sorry..." He shook his head.

''No.''

"I should have..." He whispered.

''Fight for her, she needs you to fight for her right now.''

He shook his head. "I fucking fought. I've... I've fought for this... all of this.. I'm tired of fighting for her... breathing for her... I'm like... I'm not a life support machine for us... I can't... I love her... oh my god..." Derek felt anger kicking into his body, it was his wife's on fault that they were all placed into this position.

''What are you saying Der?''

"I'm tired... I love her so much. I can't be the one breathing for her. I need someone to... help me to... help her."

''You two should seek help.''

"I love her..." He mumbled.

''I know you do.''

He rubbed his face. "I'm sorry."

''Being sorry doesn't help her. She needs you.''

Finally his breathing became normal. "I need to see... her."

''Yeah, stand by her.''

He nodded his head. "Yeah, stand by her."

''I believe in you.''

"I don't." He mumbled under his breath so that she didn't hear it. "Yeah... I have to go."

''I love you Der.''

"Love you too mom." He hung up the phone and got himself back together before entering the hospital.

Inside the hospital tests had run on Addison and she started waking up.

"How are you feeling?" A nurse instantly asked her as she saw the patient's eyes fluttering open. She looked around. ''Where am I?''

"You're in a hospital, you passed out." The nurse told her. Addison looked at her shocked.

"How are you feeling Mrs. Shepherd?" She repeated her earlier question.

''Where is my husband?''

"Erhm... I'm afraid I don't know. He must be around somewhere, Mrs. Shepherd."

She looked sad and disappointed.

"Anyway... I'm sure he'll return soon. How are you feeling?"

''I- I don't know.''

"Are you hurting? How's your stomach feeling?" She asked softly.

''I don't know.''

"Mrs. Shepherd..." The nurse tilted her head to the side. "Are you hurting?"

''I don't know okay. I need my husband.''

"I'm sure he'll be back soon." The nurse said, taking a step backwards.

''No, now. I don't want you to do anything until he's here.''

"Mrs. Shepherd, I'm sure he's on his way..."

She tried to get out of the bed.

"Mrs. Shepherd!" She moved towards her, keeping her right where she was. "I need some help over here!" She called. A male nurse ran into the room.

"She's trying to get out of the bed." She told her, keeping her in place the best she could.

''Just let me go, this is ridiculous!''

"Mrs. Shepherd you're my patient and the doctor specifically told me not to let you walk! Dick, do something!" The female nurse told the male nurse. Dick kept Addison down to the bed.

"Do I get the doctor?" The nurse, Regina, asked.

''No.''

"We can't just hold her like this." Regina said, watching Dick.

''Calm her down before we have to take her somewhere else.''

"Mrs. Shepherd, your husband is coming. He's on his way. I'm 100% sure." She tried. Addison was crying at this point. ''Why am I here?''

"You passed out because you haven't been eating well Mrs. Shepherd." She explained softly.

''I have been eating well.''

"You haven't, you're pregnant and you need more food than normally. You're food intake isn't even enough to provide for yourself." She told her patient.

''You don't know that.''

"Your husband gave us some information and the labs showed some shocking results. Mrs. Shepherd please calm down."

Addison rolled her eyes at this, what the hell did these people want from her? ''Fuck you, I AM calm aren't I?''

"Do you promise that you won't get up from the bed?" She asked, watching her patient who she didn't trust so much at the moment.

''Yes.''

She slowly nodded at Dick, ready to hold her against the bed if needed. He let go of her as well. They watched her for several moments.

''I wanna go home.''

"You can't go home Mrs. Shepherd. The doctor hasn't released you yet. Before that you're not going anywhere and it's my job to make sure you won't."

''You can't just hold me here against my will!''

"We could call your husband and a doctor and declare you unable to make choices on your own and make him your legal guardian but Mrs. Shepherd for your and your baby's health I suggest you make that decision yourself and stay right there in this bed and get better." She gave her a sweet smile.

''I have two children!''

"And how does that affect this all?" She asked with a smile.

''I need to pick them up!''

"You're not going anywhere Mrs. Shepherd. I assume that we can call the babysitters or send your husband to your children but there is no way you're going there."

''Why not?''

"Mrs. Shepherd... you passed out at a restaurant because you have an unhealthy intake of food, probably an eating disorder."

''I do not have an eating disorder, God!''

"What do you eat normally? What did you eat today?"

''Food.''

"What food and how much?"

''I don't remember.''

"According to your labs and you're husband's statement have an eating disorder. It can be cured but you need to work hard for it. If you keep going on the way you're going... you will lose this baby, you will get thin, you won't be able to do anything, you'll bruise easily and in time, you will die of starvation."

''I'm fine, I'm healthy.''

"You're not fine, you're not healthy. You're only skin and bones."

''I'm not!''

"Calm down Mrs. Shepherd, yelling is not good for your blood pressure."

''I don't care!''

"Mrs. Shepherd calm down before something happens!" She ordered.

''Shut up, seriously I want you to leave, _you_ are bad for my blood pressure!''

She tried to ignore Addison's bitchy comment. "Mrs. Shepherd, try taking deep breaths..."

''No! You take deep breaths!''

"I'm calm Mrs. Shepherd, you're not. Please try taking deep breaths so that we'll get your pulse down and you won't stress the baby that has already been through some major stress." She told her.

''I want my husband!''

"He'll be here any minute." She told her though she had no idea of Derek's location.

''No he won't be!''

"What makes you think that Mrs. Shepherd?" She asked softly, trying to calm her down anyway possible, looking at her vitals.

''He left.'' She cried.

"Mrs. Shepherd..." The nurse looked at her.

''Please, let me go.''

"I can't, no matter how much I'd want to." She replied, watching this woman.

''My son, he's afraid of the dark, and my daughter has stomach cramps before bedtime, my father doesn't know that. Please.'' She begged.

"Mrs. Shepherd... I'm sure we can call your father if you write down his number..." This woman was really making her think about this again. What if... Just then the door was opened. Everyone looked at the door. Derek Shepherd had entered the room, looking at his wife, trying his best to stay strong for her. She broke down in sobs. He watched her for a moment before he made his way through the room. Dick was holding her down again.

"What the hell are you doing man?" Derek looked at Dick and then at his wife.

''We have to hold her down.''

"Oh god..." He shook his head. "Let go of her! You'll hurt her!"

''She'll be hurt more if I don't.''

Derek shook his head again, running a hand through his hair. Addison was still crying. It broke his heart to see this. "Addie... honey... it'll be okay..." He moved to her side, making the female nurse take a step further.

''Tell them I don't have anorexia!''

His eyes were sad and so was his mind. "Babe... I'm sorry..."

''Hailey. Justin.'' She sobbed.

"Sweetie..." Derek started brushing her hair.

''She has stomach cramps.'' She continued to cry.

"Honey they'll be okay... we just need to focus on you right now. Please Addison..." He tried.

''No, they're scared!''

"Damn it Addison I'm scared too! I'm scared for you!" He snapped at her.

''Please! Tell them Derek!''

"Addison calm down okay?" He tried again, brushing some tears away from her cheeks.

''No!''

"Addison please calm down." He brushed her hair.

''Tell them!''

"Tell who? Tell what?"

''Tell them I'm not anorexic!''

"Honey... I'm sorry but... I... think you might need a little help."

''What?''

"Addison... please. You haven't eaten properly for months, I should have done something about it. It's all my fault."

''I just lost a few pounds, I'm not starving myself.''

"You lost too many pounds that you didn't even need to lose in the first place, you lost control over this."

''I did not.''

"No you did! Addison for god's sake you're under weighted and pregnant! If you carry on like this you'll starve to death!"

''I won't okay!''

"You have to realise this isn't healthy, or pretty! You looked perfect many pounds ago! You had curves and you threw all that away for what? For passing out at restaurants, ending up into a hospital being hold down by nurses?"

''It was an accident okay.''

"It'll be your everyday life if you carry on like this! You need to gain a lot of weight Addison!"

''I don't!''

"God Addison you passed out because you weren't eating! You need to eat so that it won't happen again! Do you really want Justin and Hailey to grow up with a mother who can't eat enough to keep herself away from the hospital?"

Addison looked at him unbelievably. He shook his head, walking to the chair, sitting down. She put her hands in front of her face. He rubbed his face, he had no idea where those words had came from. She didn't know what to do anymore. A few minutes were spent like this before he got up again. She looked at what he was doing. He moved the chair closer to the bed before sitting down again. She looked away.

He sighed. "I didn't mean those things, well part of them."

''Which part?''

"Jussie and Hails... they need you and all that but... you really need to gain some weight."

''No I don't.''

"Yes you do and I won't argue this one. Medically you need to gain some weight. This is dangerous Addison."

''You can't make me do anything I don't want to.''

"I'm your husband and I should have a word in this."

''But you don't.''

"Addison this is insane, you're slowly starving yourself to death if you carry on like this."

''No, I have this under control!''

"No you don't! If you did you wouldn't have passed out!"

''It happened once!''

"And it'll happen again if you continue like this!"

''I don't want to talk about this.''

"We have to, we can't ignore this problem."

''This isn't a problem.''

"This is, a huge one. We can't ignore this."

''I want Bug and Jussie.''

"You can't have them now, not like this."

''Why not?''

"You're in shock and they're probably already asleep. You'll see them later, I promise."

''I need them.''

"You'll see them later." He replied simply.

''Now!''

"They'll panic if they see you in hospital bed! You can't see them right now!"

''Then tell them to let me go home!''

"I can't when you're sick."

''I'm not sick.''

"You have an eating disorder, you are sick. It's not your fault. Something..." like my actions, like the ignoring, the indifference... "could have just triggered it."

''I'm not anorexic.''

"You are, you don't realise it yourself but you are. Everyone's worried about you."

''No they're not.''

"Yes they are, I'm worried, my mother is worried, I bet your father is worried."

''I wanna go home.''

"You can't go home right now." He said once more, shaking his head.

''They can't keep me here.''

"I'm so sorry Addison. Please don't leave now okay? You need to get well. Right now you're not well, you're not even fine."

''Yes I am. You don't know how I feel.''

"I'm talking medically. Of course I don't know how you feel cause you no longer share your feelings with me."

''Why would I?''

"We're married, I love you and I do want what's the best for you." He could have went on till the end of the time.

''No you don't.''

"I don't? What do you think is the best for you? Going home? Seeing the kids?"

''Yes.''

"Addison you'll see them later, I promise."

''When is later?''

"Tomorrow morning, I don't know, it's late already."

''I'm not staying here!''

"Addison you are staying here the night, I honestly don't care what you say but you're staying here." He told her.

''No!''

"Addison Shepherd... you are..." He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

''What?''

He held up his hand, taking the phone from his pocket, checking the caller ID. Caleb. He answered his phone after walking to the other side of the room. "Derek Shepherd."

His voice rang through the phone.

''Hi Derek it's Caleb.''

"Hi." He suddenly felt all nervous.

''Where are you?''

"I... Caleb... something happened. Don't panic okay? Everything will be okay."

''What's wrong?'' He asked concerned.

"When we were at the restaurant... Addison passed out, we're at the hospital now..."

''WHAT?''

"Caleb... she's doing alright at the moment but they need to keep her here over night."

''Why did she pass out?'' He demanded to know.

"We think she has anorexia." Derek said honestly, sighing.

''Are you kidding me?''

"I'm afraid I'm not..." He replied.

''Dear god...''

"Yeah… Caleb I'm sorry."

''Oh my god...'' He couldn't believe this.

"Caleb... I'm sorry, I should have done something."

''Is she awake?''

"Yeah, she's awake, wanting to see the kids."

''They won't sleep.''

"Oh..." He thought about it for a moment. "Could you bring them here then?" He asked with a sigh.

''To the hospital?''

"Yes, she misses them." Derek lowered his voice so his wife wouldn't hear him. "We can't negotiate anything with her until the kids are here."

''Oh.''

"Caleb, could you do that for your daughter?" He rubbed his forehead.

''Do you want your children to see her like that?''

"No, I don't. But do I have a choice? She wants to see them, she needs to see them. I can't say no Caleb."

''What hospital are you in?''

"God... it's the one near the park. I don't know the name..."

''Oh, that's the Fairfield hospital.''

"Yeah, that's it." He smiled a little.

''I'll be there.''

"Okay, it's room 203." Derek nodded, looking at his wife.

''I'll kill her once I get there.''

"Caleb..." Derek sighed though that had been one of the first thoughts in his mind as well.

''No I'm serious. Has she gone completely insane?''

"Yes." Derek simply replied, nodding his head.

''Yes?''

"I don't know anymore Caleb, just get here okay?"

''I will.'' With that he hung up.

Derek sighed as he looked at the screen for few moments before slipping it into his pocket. Male nurse Dick walked past him and left the room. Derek walked back to his seat next to her bed and sat down. "Your father is coming."

''What?'' Her eyes widened, she didn't want her father to see her like. She wanted her father to see his child as the perfect daughter, the perfect med student, the perfect mother to his grandchildren.

"He's on his way actually."

''I don't want him here!''

"I can't stop him from coming Addison."

''You could have.''

"He's your father and he wants to see you."

''What did you tell him?''

"I told him you passed out because you haven't been eating properly which is true."

''Derek!''

"Addison, you need to accept you have a problem, if you don't do that there's no way you can be cured."

''I don't have a problem that has to be cured.''

"You do, Addison, you really do have a problem." He said in a serious tone.

''No, I do not.''

"I love you really much but this... you have to eat properly, if you don't... it won't be good."

She shook her head at him.

"Addison you have to listen to me. I know it won't be any good."

''No.''

"Addison you have to stop this."

''No I don't.''

"This is not healthy."

''Shut up.''

"Don't you tell me to shut up, I won't shut up and let you kill yourself."

''I'm not killing myself.''

"You are, this is will lead there. Don't you see how scared I am for you?"

''No I don't.''

"How can you not see it?"

''Just shut up, please, stop talking to me.''

"Fine, whatever." He shook his head, looking away from her.

''Great.''

"Amazing." He gave a sigh, hoping that for his sanity Caleb would talk to her. She started playing with her fingers. He rubbed his forehead, looking at her fingers. She looked down. They stayed like this for several moments. She let out a sigh. Soon the moments turned into minutes which seemed like forever. Neither one of them spoke, just little sighs left their lips occasionally. She looked out of the window though it was dark. Then all of a sudden the door was opened, well more like slammed open.


	39. Beauty in the breakdown

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 39 – Beauty in the breakdown_

Caleb angrily walked through the door with two children in his arms.

"Daddy!" Hailey and Justin said in union as they spotted him. He held out his arms for the twins, getting up from his chair. Addison watched them. Derek took his children from Caleb, holding both of them. "God I missed you two." He whispered to them, placing kisses on Hailey's hair and then few on his son's cheek. Addison looked down. He smiled slightly as the twins began talking like normally, though their voices were sleepy. Tears formed in her eyes. Her father looked at her angrily while Derek gently bounced the twins. She looked to the other side.

"Addison Montgomery..." Her father started, shaking his head.

"Caleb..." Derek tried. Addison didn't look up. Derek held the twins. "I love you both so much." He told the twins in a whisper. Hailey was watching her mother.

"Hailey, baby, what's wrong?" He asked softly. The little girl didn't reply and kept watching her. She was scared.

"Honey..." He looked at the same direction as her. "Aw baby..." He whispered to his little girl. Addison looked up at her daughter.

"Hails... are you okay?" He asked again, bouncing her a little while Justin turned to look at his mother as well.

''Is mommy sick?'' She whispered.

"It's nothing to be scared of okay? Mommy is just a little ill." He said softly, trying not to scare the two year old.

''Ill?''

"Yeah, a little sick... Darling, mommy's going to be okay."

Hailey's eyes were filled with tears.

He looked a bit desperate. "Do you wanna give mommy a hug?" He asked in a little whisper.

''No!'' Sick people were scary.

"Aw baby." He whispered softly. She started to cry. He started to calm her down. "Caleb could you take Justin for a moment?" Derek asked desperately. Caleb was still looking angry but he took Justin. Derek looked grateful, focusing on his little girl. "Shh... Baby, mommy will be alright."

Addison had tears in her eyes. ''Give her to me.''

"Wait Addie." He told her, softly brushing Hailey's back.

''Please…''

"Addison not now!" He spoke to her again, pressing a few kisses on Hailey's forehead.

''Give her to me.''

''She's crying!''

"Addison no, you're scaring your own child!" Caleb said what Derek couldn't.

"She's crying because you're scaring her." Derek continued, brushing her hair. This made Addison cry. Justin looked around, scared just like his sister as his eyes started welling up. She continued to cry. How could it have gotten this far?

"Shh... it's okay." Derek spoke softly, juggling Hailey. Hailey reached out for her mother.

"Do you want to go to mommy?" He asked, somewhat glad for this little movement. She nodded crying. It seemed like a rock fell off his chest as he walked to the bed, giving her to Addison. Addison hugged her close to her, tightly.

"Mommy." She cried against her shoulder, tears falling down her cheeks. Derek walked back to Caleb.

''Sweetie, what's wrong?''

"You're hurt!" She cried out, gripping onto her mother's shirt tightly.

''No, baby, I'm not hurt.''

"But you're ill..." She started sobbing.

''Baby, I'm not ill.'' Addison hugged her closer against her.

"But... Daddy said you were!" She shut her eyes tightly.

''Honey calm down, please.''

She shook her little head, her hands curling up in little fists.

''Yes, do it for me.''

Hailey took a shaky breath, trying to stop the tears from falling.

''It's all okay.'' Addison rubbed her back. Slowly her breathing became easier and Justin had managed to calm down as well.

''It's all okay.'' She whispered.

"I love you mommy." She whispered against her mother's chest.

''I love you too baby, more than anything in the world.''

She slowly pulled back from her mother. "Why are you in a hospital?"

Addison didn't know what to answer.

"Mommy?" She was afraid once again.

''It's nothing baby.''

"Then why are you here?" She asked frustrated.

''Sweetie, please.'' She sighed. Hailey shook her head before Derek placed Justin on the bed to her feet.

''Come here.'' She held one arm open for Justin. He crawled to her, sitting on her carefully, wrapping his arms around his mother. She hugged him loosely as well.

"Will you be okay?" Justin asked in a whisper.

''Of course.''

"I don't want you to be sad momma." He said honestly as Derek sat on the bed by her feet, watching them.

''I'm not sad.'' She lied. He slowly nodded, hugging her even tighter.

''It's okay.''

Derek knew the talk about her not being sad was a bad lie. He looked up to Caleb. Caleb was still looking angry but he wasn't going to do this in front of two young children.

"I'm sleepy." Justin announced loudly.

''You can go sleep.''

"Maybe we should go home." Derek told the little boy. "How would you like that?"

''Does mommy go home too?''

"Not today, she'll be home tomorrow." Derek said though he had no idea if she would. "But daddy will be home with you."

''What about mommy?''

"Mommy will be at the hospital, she'll be alright here, nothing bad can happen here." He told his son.

''But I want her home...''

"Sweetie, she'll be home as soon as the doctor tells her it's okay to go home."

''I want mommy home.''

"You can't have her home right now."

''Why not?''

"Because she can't sweetie." He repeated.

''Why not?''

"Baby… it's complicated, the doctor has to release her but the doctor hasn't yet."

''Mommy can't be alone.''

"Grandpa will be here with her and she has to go to sleep too really soon, it's been a long day."

''But what if she gets scared?''

"Honey, I promise to keep my phone on, mommy can call us and I'll wake you up so that you can talk to her okay?"

''Promise?''

"I promise." He held a hand on his chest.

''Can't I stay here with her?''

"It's a hospital sweetie and mommy needs to get some rest."

''Oh...''

"Come on, give her a good night kiss and then we can go."

Justin looked unsure while Hailey had tears in her eyes again. Derek sighed, he was tired of fighting. "Justin, Hailey, I'm asking you nicely, I'm saying please."

''I want to stay!''

"Me too!"

Derek sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Fine, stay, whatever."

They both closely held onto their mother.

"I'll get something to drink." Derek said before getting up.

''Take them with you.'' Caleb ordered. Derek looked at his father-in-law. "Justin, Hailey, we're going to get something to drink."

''Milk?''

"Yes, anything you want." Derek nodded.

"Okay..." Hailey got off of the bed hesitating slightly. Justin followed his twin.

Derek walked out of the room with them, leaving father and his daughter alone. "What the hell were you thinking?"

''Dad, please.''

"No, you listen to me right now." He told her angrily.

''No.''

"Addison Forbes Montgomery, what the hell were you thinking?"

''Don't yell at me. You don't know anything.''

"I know enough but what I don't know is, why the hell did you do this to yourself?"

''Just stop.''

"Addison there's nothing that will make me stop right now. Why did you do this? Are you sending God a death wish or something because if that was your point you're doing very good at it!"

''I'm fine.''

"You're not fine, you're nowhere near fine! This isn't healthy, you're just hurting yourself like this!"

''You don't know me.''

"Oh you're right because MY daughter would have NEVER done this! She would have NEVER EVER done anything like this!"

''Well then maybe I'm not your daughter anymore!''

His eyes widened. "You can't do that! Addison this is insane! This whole thing you're doing is insane. You're starving yourself for what?"

''I'm not starving myself!''

"You are! You're way too thin Addison! You don't eat anymore and now according to Derek you have anorexia!"

''I do not have anorexia!''

"You do according to Derek."

''Derek is lying.''

"Then why do I trust him more than you at the moment?"

''I don't know.''

"Might be because he wasn't the one passing out and now trying to act like it didn't happen. Like it wasn't a big deal, like it wasn't due to not eating." He shook his head.

''It wasn't.''

"It was, it was completely because of that. You're anorectic Addison, you can't deny that. If you keep denying it everything will start going downhill."

''I'm fine!''

"You are not fine, damn it! You're sick Addison, you're sick!"

''I'm not!''

"You're sick, you're suffering from anorexia! Everyone else around you can see that now! You're the one who doesn't realise it! You're the one who keeps calling herself fat while looking at herself in front of the mirror. That's you Addison. Do you want to stay like this? You need to be treated!"

''You don't know how I think and what I do!''

"That's what I assume you do!" He was so close to hitting the nearest object. "Addison you need to stop this before it's too late!"

''No.''

"Yes, you have to Addison."

''No I don't.''

"Yes you do! You're risking your and your baby's life with this! Did you EVER think about that?"

''Shut up.''

His father looked at her furiously. "I hope that for your best you did not just tell me to shut up!"

''I did.''

"Addison I can't believe you. You've turned out to be anything but what I raised you to be." He shook his head.

''I don't care.''

Caleb shook his head again. "You don't think about other people Addison, it's all about you."

''I don't think about other people? Are you kidding me?''

"No I'm not. You don't care about what you're doing to your children, this illness is scary. Derek worries about you, a lot. Did you even think about him when you lost weight?"

''I did this for him!''

"WHAT? Are you completely insane?"

''And I'm failing medical school for my children, don't tell me I'm selfish.''

"There are people who can help you! There are babysitters, Derek can skip a day or two. God Addison, you don't need to waste your life like this! Get someone to help you at home so that you can go to the school, take them to the kindergarten, anything."

''No.''

"Yes, you can't do it all alone! You're risking your future career for your children."

''I am.''

"You're insane."

''Why?''

"Because you could get help, and do them both. Be a mother and have a career."

''I can't, it's my own fault I got pregnant so now I have to be a mom.''

"You can do both, it's possible." Caleb said. "But that's not what I'm worried about. I'm worried about your health."

''My health is fine.''

"For the thousandth time today, it is not fine!" Caleb yelled at her.

''I don't care!''

"You should start caring pretty fucking soon!"

''No I don't!''

Caleb shook his head. "If you keep going on like this, there will be a few good years and then... snap. You won't be fine, you'll be nowhere near fine."

''But I am now.''

"For a year or two maybe, but even if you stay like this you'd lose the baby and in two years the twins would lose their mother."

''I won't lose the baby.''

"You will, it's already stressed and this is not helping at all."

''You don't know anything.''

"I wouldn't say so." Maria stood in the doorway in her little black dress, full make-up and heels that made her tower over most people, she didn't look like a mother who was in distress over her hospitalised daughter. Addison looked up at her mother and shook her head.

"Addison, Addison..." She clicked her tongue, looking at her daughter. "What did you do now?"

''Go away.''

"Now is that a way you talk to your mother?" She raised her eyebrows, walking closer.

''Go away.'' She repeated, closing her eyes like she was a 5 year old who was scared of monsters.

"Addison, what did you do?" She demanded to know, standing next her husband, looking down at her.

''Nothing!''

"And that's why you ended up in a hospital?" She raised her eyebrows, shaking her head. "How do I not quite believe this?"

''I don't care.''

"Addison, have you gone completely insane?"

''No.''

"Did you even think about what this does to our reputation?"

''OUR?''

"Our family, we're THE Montgomery's."

''I'm not.''

"You are, no matter how hard you try to deny it, how much I try to ignore it, you are one of us. What you do, affects our reputation."

''No.''

She shook her head. "God Addison."

''Why are you even here?''

"I'm your mother, that's reason enough."

''No it isn't, not when we're talking about you.''

Maria sighed at her, crossing her arms uncomfortably. Addison looked at her feet.

"Why did you do this?" Maria asked a while later, shifting her weight from one foot to another.

''Do what?''

"Your father told me that you haven't been eating."

''Whatever.'' Addison shook her head dismissively.

"Addison." She raised her voice.

''What?''

"WHY did you do this?"

''I'm fat remember?''

"You did this because I told you that?"

''You must be happy now, aren't you?''

Maria sighed and looked at her husband for a moment. Caleb was looking out of the window, trying to ignore them.

"Addison look..." Maria sighed again. "I'm not happy that you're... suffering."

''Shut up.'' She let out a cynical laugh.

"Young woman, don't you dare to tell me to shut up."

''Shut up.''

Maria looked at her daughter. "I won't, you know I won't. This is something serious Addison."

''Like you care!''

"I DO!" She said before even realising it.

''LIAR!''

"God Addison you're my daughter, of course I care for you!"

''No you don't!''

"I DO!" Maria told her again, frustrated.

''NO!''

"God Addison!" She looked at her, shaking her head.

''Go away.''

"No! You know what? I'm not going anywhere."

''Yes you are or I'll get you removed.''

"No, you won't because I'm going to tell you something."

''Don't bother.''

"WHEN I was younger." She started, cutting her in the middle of the last word. Addison looked at the wall, trying to block her out.

"I wasn't a girl from the cover of a magazine, I was far from that. I was… I was the girl who tried to hide into the corner, wishing the floor would swallow me whole so I wouldn't have to listen to people's comments about my weight." She took a deep breath, not even Caleb had heard this all.

''Your point?'' Addison raised her eyebrow.

"Once when I got the stomach flu I lost a lot of weight. I realised I didn't have to be fat. So... I got sick. I had bulimia."

''Hmm.''

"Addison, I didn't want you to go through that teasing."

''Oh so it's better that I have anorexia now?'' This was the first time she didn't deny having it.

"No." She shook her head. "It's not what I wanted, it's the opposite. I didn't think you'd go this far."

''Hmmm.''

"Addison, I'm... sorry."

''No you're not.''

"You're my daughter, of course I am."

''Too late.''

"Addison. I didn't know this would happen."

''Just go.''

Maria shook her head. "Whatever."

''You know the way out.''

She gazed towards her husband momentarily. Caleb shook his head at her. Maria turned to look at Addison once more before gathering all the pride she had left, walking out of the room quickly so that her heels clicked loudly. Addison let out a loud sigh. Caleb was still shaking his head, sighing as well. She was waiting for him to leave.

"Bye Addie." He said to his daughter calmly before starting to walk after Maria. She didn't reply to him. He sighed as he hurried his steps, catching up with his wife though he had nothing to say to her. Maria continued walking. Caleb shook his head as he walked with her. She looked at him. He didn't look at her, he couldn't right now.

''Caleb...''

"What?" He asked a second later.

''Please...''

"What?" He repeated. Maria just sighed. ''Never mind.''

He turned to look at her. "What?"

''Nothing.''

"Maria, what is it?" He asked again.

''Our daughter.''

"Addison, what about her?" He sighed a bit.

''Well...''

He sighed again, waiting for her to continue.

''She's our daughter.''

"Yes, but we can't make her do anything."

''I know...''

He slowly moved closer to her as they left the hospital. "She has to do this on her own Maria."

''Really?'' She sighed.

"Well... she won't even talk to you, and after today... she might not even talk to me. Besides... she has Derek."

''Does she?''

"Maria, they're married and in love, you can't deny it."

''Whatever.''

He gave her a look, sighing. "What do you have against Derek?"

''He's not good for her.''

"How is he not good for her? You don't know that."

''I do.''

"You don't, you surely aren't the one following their daily life and their routines."

''Fine.''

"Derek and Addison are in love."

''Hmm.''

Caleb sighed. "Fine, whatever."

''Let's just go home.''

"Yeah, let's just go home." He nodded and they walked to their car, getting in and driving back to their house.

The next day Addison woke up from a horrible night. As she opened her eyes, she sighed. It had really happened. She looked around, she was alone. Derek and the kids were at the house, still asleep, lying in the big bed. Hailey right next to her father, curled up in a ball while Justin just lay on his back, his legs and arms pointing to every possible direction. Addison got up from the bed. She looked around a bit before Nurse Regina stepped into the room, reading a chart.

''Can I go home?''

"Well we have no reason to keep you here anymore, so yes."

''Great.''

"Exactly. But as your nurse I'd tell you to start watching what you eat, start eating more so that you'll gain some weight. It'll be a long, hard process but it's the cure for this."

''Okay.'' She replied absentmindly, gather her stuff back in her bag.

"Mrs. Montgomery-Shepherd, I highly suggest you do that." Nurse Regina said softly.

''Right, thanks.''

She gave a smile and went to open the blindfolds.

''Has anyone called my husband yet?''

"Yes, he's been informed."

''Thanks.'' Addison gave her a smile.

"No problem." She replied, giving this woman a smile. Addison watched what she was doing. Nurse Regina checked a few things, feeling Addison's eyes on her. "Can I help you with anything?" Addison offered. "No thanks." Nurse Regina replied, giving the young woman a soft smile. "You just rest."

Minutes passed and the nurse soon left the room. Addison waited for her husband to come. More minutes passed by, nothing happened, everything stayed the exact same. About an hour later she started to get worried and got up from the bed, rummaging through her purse. She soon found her cell phone and hit speed dial, bringing the phone to her ear. She waited for answer.

"Derek Shepherd." A voice rang through the phone.

''Hey Der it's me.''

"Oh, hi." He replied.

''Uhm... are you on your way already?''

"Addison... I'm not coming." He sighed slightly.

''What?'' She frowned.

"I'm not going to pick you up." He repeated himself.

''Derek... why?''

"I just can't right now Addison."

''Why not?''

"I just can't okay?" He rubbed his forehead.

''Derek.''

"Addison..." He shook his head.

''You're not going to get me from the hospital?''

"No, I'm not." He answered her calmly, running a hand through his hair. She felt tears well up in her eyes. ''How am I supposed to get home then?''

"I don't know honestly, I don't even know if you should leave the hospital yet."

''Derek...''

"Yes?" He shook his head slightly.

''I don't know the way home.'' Tears rolled down her face. He couldn't help but feel bad for doing this. "Addison..."

''I don't have money for a cab.'' She was crying.

"Addison... honey..." He just wanted to hold her tightly.

''Why are you doing this to me?''

"I don't think you should leave yet..."

''I'll walk then.'' She whispered.

"Sweetie, you'll get lost if you do that."

''It doesn't matter.''

"You can't leave like that! What if you don't find your way here?"

''It doesn't matter.'' She repeated, her voice broken.

"No! It does matter." He replied, trying not to get emotional.

''No, it doesn't, it's okay.''

"No, it's not okay, Addison look you can't be wondering around the city all by yourself."

''You don't have to pick me up. This isn't your fault anyway.''

"Honey..." He looked at his watch. "I'll be there in few hours okay?" He sighed.

''No, it's okay.'' She felt like someone was squeezing her throat shut.

"Addison... baby... I'll be there in few hours. You don't have to walk home." He said softly.

''No, I'm going.''

"Addison you're not going anywhere."

''Bye.''

"Addison!" He exclaimed.

''It's okay.''

"No, I'll be there in few hours." He partly demanded.

''I can't wait for hours, to sit in a car with you, and have you yell at me, or ignore me. I can't have you looking at me with that look in your eyes. I can't.''

"We have to talk at some point Addison, we can't continue like this, you can't continue like this." He said, trying hard to ignore what she had just said.

''I can't.''

"You can't what?"

''I can't have my husband looking at me like that, not again.''

"Then you have to do something that I won't have to." He sighed.

''What do you mean?''

"You can't keep doing what you're doing."

''Derek.''

"Addison."

''Just...'' She sighed. ''Never mind.''

"Please tell me, I'm asking you to."

''You don't understand.''

"Make me understand, tell me, please."

''I can't.''

"Why not?" He sighed rather loudly.

''I just... can't.''

He shook his head. "We aren't supposed to have any secrets."

''I don't.''

"You do, you won't tell me anything. And at the moment, you're keeping something from me."

''Like?''

"I don't know, you didn't tell me that you were hungry, you always lied about it."

''Who says I was hungry?''

"Whatever Addison, that's not my point at all. That was one thing."

''I'm not in the mood for this.''

"You never are." He replied simply.

''I know.''

"I need to talk about this with you."

''No.''

"We can't just ignore this."

''Are you coming or not?''

"I'll be there in few hours." He replied, giving a sigh.

''Hours?''

"Yeah, the kids are asleep."

''I can't wait.''

"You have to."

''No.''

"One hour. I have to wake up the kids and they have to eat something."

''I'll just go myself.''

"No you won't walk. Really."

''I will.''

"No, seriously Addison."

''Yes.''

"I'll be there in an hour, you're not going anywhere before that."

She sighed.

"Addison I promise." He said.

''You were just going to let me wait weren't you?''

"I'll be there in an hour."

''You were quitting on me.''

He shook his head. "One hour, I promise."

''How do I know you're really coming?''

"Because I am, and you know me." He told her calmly.

''You weren't coming.''

"I'm coming now, I'll be there in an hour."

''We'll see.''

"Bye Addison."

''Goodbye.''

He hung up, walking into the living room where his two kids were sitting on the couch, watching TV. Both kids were sweetly watching. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed before walking to them, sitting on the couch. They instantly both snuggled up against him. He smiled at them, pulling them even a bit closer. "What are we watching?" He turned to look at the TV.

''Dora.''

"Oh." He smiled again.

''Can we buy mommy a balloon?'' Justin suddenly asked.

"A balloon? You want to get her one?"

''And a stuffed animal!'' Hailey cheered.

"That would be nice." He smiled at the twins. "What kinda stuffed animal? And what colour could the balloon be?"

''A giraffe!''

"A giraffe? What a nice idea honey!"

''And when mommy comes home, I'll hug her and make her better!''

"Aw that's good." Derek just wished it was actually that easy.

''Can we go?''

"Yeah, let's go stop by at the store first and get that balloon."


	40. Coming home

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 40 – Coming home_

Not even thirty minutes later the three of them walked into Addison's room. Justin was holding a big balloon and Hailey a stuffed animal. Derek walked behind the two of them, with a little card in his right hand, which he had nervously played with the entire time. Addison was sitting on the side of her bed, looking out of the window. "MOMMY!" Justin exclaimed loudly, letting go of the balloon which then quickly escaped to the ceiling so that the little ones couldn't reach it anymore. He ran towards Addison.

''Hey baby!'' She pulled him up into her arms tightly.

"I missed you mommy!" He wrapped his little arms around her tightly.

''I missed you too little bunny!''

Hailey ran towards her as well, placing the giraffe on the bed before attacking her with hugs. "MOMMY!"

''Hey baby girl!'' She picked Hailey up as well. Derek watched them from distance, leaning against the doorframe. Hailey buried her head into her mother's neck, her fingers gripping onto Addison's shirt. Addison hugged them both closely, kissing them. Derek slowly walked closer, still giving them their space. "I love you mommy." Hailey told her.

''I love you too baby Bug.''

"I love mommy more!" Justin exclaimed.

''I love you too Jussie.''

Justin smiled, slowly pulling back from the hug. "Are you coming home todayyy?"

''I am.''

"Yay!" Hailey grinned. Addison smiled at them.

"Hails, Jussie? Do you have something to give to mommy?" Derek was now holding the balloon.

''My balloon!''

"Yeah, come get it baby."

He jumped off of his mother's lap.

"We got you presentssss!" Hailey pressured S, smiling widely as she showed her mother the giraffe.

''Presents?'' Addison gasped.

"Yes! It's a giraffe mommy!" She gave it to her mother while Justin returned with the balloon.

''Wow! Thank you babies!''

"Welcome!" Hailey grinned widely and snuggled closer to her mother.

''This is great.''

Derek walked closer to the bed and slowly gave her the card. She took the card without looking at him. ''Thanks.''

"No problem." He turned to look away. She looked at the card and opened it. 'Get well soon' was written in it, under that there was 'Love you' written in small simple handwriting. In the corner he had written their names, Der, Jussie and Bug. She stared at the card. He instead stared out of the window nervously.

''Can we go home?''

"Yeah." He answered shortly.

''Okay.'' She got up, both twins in her arms. He started walking out of the room, his arms crossed. She soon had to put them down before she would drop them. He looked behind him and saw this, picking up his son who had complained about his leg the whole morning. Addison sighed and held Hailey's hand. He watched her for a while, holding his son closely. They went to the car. He put Justin in the car seat, running a hand through his hair. Addison did the same with Hailey.

After this he got into the car on the driver's seat. She got into passengers seat. He gently rubbed his forehead before starting the engine. Addison looked out of the window. He began driving towards their house, trying his best not to look at her. She occasionally looked behind her to look at the kids.

"Are we ever going to talk?" He asked a while later.

''What?''

"Are we ever going to talk or just sit here and not talk and stare at opposite directions?"

''You tell me.''

"I don't want that." He simply said.

''Want what?''

"Not talking, not caring, not even looking at each other, I don't want to go back there."

''Neither do I.''

"Good."

''Yeah...''

He gave a little sigh. "Addie?"

''Yeah?''

"The kids weren't the only ones missing you."

''Hmmm.''

He focused back on the road. She looked at her legs. He tapped his fingers on the steering wheel nervously. She bit on her nails. They had once again fallen into silence. A sigh escaped her lips. He gave her a concerned look. She looked into the other direction. He shook his head, looking at the road. She rested her head on her hand. He simply carried on driving.

''Are we there daddy?''

"Soon." Derek replied.

''Are we going to do something fun today daddy?''

"I don't know sweetie, is there something you'd want to do?"

The little girl shrugged. Derek looked at her through the mirror. "Okay, if you want to do something you can tell me baby."

''Swim in our water?''

"In the pool?" A smile tugged at Derek's lips.

''Yeah!''

"Sounds like fun." He smiled.

The little girl smiled widely.

"What about you Justin? Do you think that'd be fun?"

''Can I play with my boat then?''

"Sure sweetie, if you want to." He smiled.

''Yay.''

They soon reached the house. Addison unbuckled her seatbelt. Derek got out of the car quickly. She got out as well. He got the little guy out of the car, starting to walk towards the house. Addison sighed and helped Hailey getting out. He turned the key in the lock and opened the door, stepping into their house. Addison and Hailey followed them in. He took off Justin's coat and started taking off his own.

''Do you want to take them swimming right now?''

"Whatever, seriously. Your decision."

She sighed. He looked at her for a moment. She looked worn down and sad as she took off her daughter's coat. He combed his hair with his fingers before hanging his coat.

''Do you want to swim now Bug?'' Addison bent down to her level. Hailey grinned, nodding her head. "YES!"

''Alright.''

"Yay!" Hailey squealed excitedly. Addison smiled at her daughter a little. She grinned widely and started tugging at her father's jeans. "Daddy, daddy, we're going swimming!" She told him with a wide smile.

"Yeah baby we are." He softly ran his fingers through her hair.

''I too!'' Justin piped in.

"Yeah, you too sweetie." Derek smiled at his son.

''You too?''

"Yeah sure if you want me to."

''Yay!''

Derek brushed Justin's hair, smiling. "Let's get your swimsuits then."

''Are you dressing them?'' She asked him.

"Sure, unless you want to."

''Your choice.''

"I'll dress them then." He replied, picking up his children.

''I'll go take a nap...''

"Okay, tell me if you need anything okay?" He sighed. She didn't reply as she walked up the stairs. Derek shook his head, after a while walking up the stairs as well, going into the twins' room. Addison went into the bathroom. Derek started looking for the swimsuits and floats for the kids. The twins patiently sat on their bed. Soon he walked to them with Hailey's pink swimsuit and Justin's blue trunks. Hailey smiled widely at her daddy. Derek smiled as well, picking up his daughter, laying her down on the changing table, placing a kiss on her nose. She giggled loudly at this, moving her legs around. Derek chuckled slightly and started undressing her. She looked at him with big eyes that were identical to his. He felt her gaze on him, smiling at her before he finished undressing her and started putting on her swimsuit.

''I'm pretty!'' She giggled as she ran her fingers over the Dora print on her pink bathing suit.

"Oh yes you are!" Derek took her little hand in his, giving it a soft squeeze as he pressed a little kiss on her tummy. "The prettiest of all!"

''All?'' Hailey giggled even louder at his actions.

"Of course baby" He smiled widely, placing a kiss on her forehead. She kissed her father. He pecked his daughter's lips back softly and then picked her up from the changing table. She wrapped her arms around his neck. He hold her against him protectively before placing her on the bed. She let herself fall down with a poef. He laughed softly, picking up his son now. Justin waved at his sister. Hailey waved back at him cheerily as Derek took him to the changing table.

Justin waited patiently. ''Momma going swim too?''

"I think mommy will go to sleep or something, I don't know sweetie." He replied as he placed him on the table, starting to take off his son's clothes. The little boy now had a frown on his face.

"You could ask her."

''Dadda, when baby comes, can I play with it first?''

Derek smiled, shaking his head. "Baby is not something you play with honey, when the baby gets a bit older, you can with him or her."

''How old?''

"A bit older sweetie." He replied calmly.

''How old?'' He asked again.

"Look sweetie, when the baby is born, she or he'll be very little. It's not a toy you can play with. The baby has to grow a bit. Okay?"

''Hmmm.'' He frowned.

"What?" Derek asked as he put on the little boy's trunks.

''I want to play.''

"You have Hails to play with sweetie." He picked him up.

''Will you go swim?''

"Yeah I will." Derek nodded at him.

''Mommy?''

"I don't know Jussie." He replied.

''Ask.''

"Okay honey." Derek promised. He smiled. Derek placed him on the bed. "Act nicely okay? I'll go change and ask mommy if she wants to come swimming too."

''Okay!''

"Good." Derek gave them a smile and both of them received little kisses on their foreheads before he left the room, walking towards the master bedroom. Addison was lying in the bed, under the covers. He looked at her for a moment. "You sleeping?"

''No.''

"Okay, Jussie and Hails wanted me to ask you to come swimming with us." He said as he walked towards the closet. "But I'll tell them you're taking a nap."

''No...no... they want me to come.'' She said tiredly, getting out of the bed.

"Honey, you look really horrible, and I'm not saying this to be mean or because you'd actually look horrible. You look sad and tired and hurt, maybe you should just sleep, we'll be fine." It hurt him to look at her like this.

''I'm okay.''

"No you're not, now please, go to the bed." He told her.

''Please, they need me.''

"They'll be alright, I'm worried about you right now so please, just go to bed." He looked into her eyes. She sighed loudly.

"Addison, I'm asking nicely. Would you please go to bed?"

''Fine.''

"Good, try to catch some sleep. Have you eaten anything today?"

''No.''

"You should take something before you'll starve."

''I won't.''

"You will, please take something okay?"

''Later.''

"When you get up?" He raised his eyebrows slightly.

''Maybe.''

"Please?"

''I'm not hungry now.''

"Did you eat ANYTHING at the hospital?" He asked.

''Yes.''

"Good, take something from the fridge when you wake up."

''Yes.''

"Good." He gave a little smile.

''Have fun...''

"Thanks, sweet dreams." He watched her for a while.

''Thank you.''

"Love you." He said quickly, hesitantly before walking out of the room. She went under the blankets. He walked into the bathroom, changing before walking back into the twins' room. The twins were playing on the floor, Hailey tickling Justin.

"Hey what's going on here?" He put on a smile, watching them.

''I'm tickling Jussie!''

Derek laughed at her reply. "Yeah apparently."

She was laughing loudly, still tickling him.

"Hailey stop!" Justin giggled loudly, kicking his legs.

''Nooo!''

Justin gasped for breath while laughing, squirming. Hailey was giggling. Derek laughed at them, picking up the little girl, tickling her stomach.

''Daddy no!''

Derek grinned. "Come on little one, let's go swimming."

''Yay!''

He placed a kiss on her nose, offering Justin his hand which he quickly took and pulled himself up. Both kids wrapped their little arms around his neck. ''Isn't mommy coming?'' Justin asked.

"Mommy is very tired, she has to sleep." Derek explained.

''Oh...''

"Yeah sweetie." Derek said softly, gathering a few things on their way out, towels and stuff like that.

They snuggled against him. He smiled at them as they stepped out of the house.

They looked at the pool. Derek placed the kids on the ground, putting the towels on a chair. They crawled up. Derek looked towards the pool. "We should probably go to the low end of the pool." He took their hands in his. They walked with him. He smiled at them as they reached the other end of the pool.

''Can we get in?''

"Yeah baby." Derek laughed softly. "I'll go first though." He said, letting go of their little hands, getting into the pool, at this end of the pool the water just reached the half way of his thigh. They watched him.

"Okay, you can come here, who wants to come first?"

"ME!" They both yelled.

"Justin, you come first." Derek said to the little guy who had been the first one yelling. He walked closer towards the edge, carefully. Derek held out his arms. "Need help baby?"

''Yes.''

"Come here." He took few steps closer to the edge and kept his arms held out.

''Can I? Can I?''

"Yeah." He said softly. He hesitantly jumped. Derek caught him so that his head wouldn't go under the surface. He giggled loudly.

Derek laughed at him. "If you need to, take support from the shore okay?"

''But I have my floaties on!''

"Yeah sweetie, you do." Derek placed a kiss on his forehead before letting go of him. "Hails?" He looked at his daughter.

''Yes daddy?''

"You ready to come?"

''Yes.''

"Okay, you wanna jump too?"

''Yes!''

He laughed softly, holding out his arms.

''Catch me!'' She yelled and jumped. He caught her as well, making sure her head wouldn't go under the surface, laughing. She giggled. Derek slowly let go of her, looking around for Justin who he soon spotted just few feet away. He was swimming around in circles. He smiled at his little ones. Hailey tightly held onto him.

Derek brushed her hair softly. "What is it baby?"

''What?''

"You're holding pretty tightly honey." He told softly.

''Not.''

"You are." He let out a laugh.

''Nuhuh!''

He softly brushed her hair. "Okay then."

She splattered her little feel against the water. He smiled at his daughter widely as he walked a bit deeper. She was smiling widely. He started swimming a bit, watching his kids the whole time. Hailey continued to hold onto him as Justin swum around. Derek turned so that he was on his back, floating. Hailey laid on him on her stomach, resting her head on his chest. Derek placed a soft kiss on the top of her head, smiling. The little girl closed her eyes.

"I love you little one." He told her in a sweet voice.

''I loves you too daddy.''

He smiled widely. A moment later Justin splashed some water on them.

''Jussie no!''

"Justin that was a naughty thing to do." Derek told his son and gave him a warning look. Justin pulled a sad face and pouted. ''It was a joke.''

"Yeah baby I know it was." Derek smiled at him a little. "But something could have happened baby."

''What?''

"It could have ended up in somebody's eye. Remember when you were bathing and then some water ended up in your eye? Was that fun?"

''Nooo!''

"Exactly honey." Derek gave him a smile.

''Will mommy swim later?''

"She's asleep baby." He told softly.

''Why?''

"She has to sleep a little because she's tired."

''Why is she?''

"Because she was at the hospital."

''Will she swim when she wakes up?''

"I don't know baby, she might sleep a bit longer.

''Why?''

"Because she's very tired and needs to gather some strength."

''Why?''

"She's tired okay?" He didn't know how to tell the two-year-old that she was anorectic.

''But I want her to swim!''

"Sweetie you can't demand someone to swim, that's rude."

''No.''

"You have to understand honey, you can't do that."

''Why not?''

"Because it is rude and mommy is very tired now."

''What is rude?''

"Asking, demanding people to swim when you know they're tired."

Justin pouted.

"Sweetie, that's just how it is."

''I don't wanna swim anymore.''

"Why is that?"

He shrugged.

"Do you want to go too Bug?"

The little girl shook her head.

"Jussie, do you want to stay there and watch?"

''No.''

"You can't go and wake mommy either."

"Why not?"

"Because she needs her sleep." He almost snapped at him.

''But I want my mommy!''

"You can't have her now!" He almost used the bad word his kids weren't even allowed to hear. The little boy started to cry loudly.

"Damn it." Derek mumbled under his breath and lifted Justin on his hip, getting out of the pool. Justin tried to fight his way out of his father's arms. He placed the toddler on the ground, kneeling down in front of him so that he was on his level. "Justin? Listen to me now."

''I want mommy!''

"Justin! Mom is sick, she doesn't have so much strength at the moment, she needs to eat, and sleep. She loves you very much but you can't start acting up now because at the moment I'm the only one in control."

''But I want momma!''

"You can't have her now."

''But I want her!'' He sobbed.

"I know you do, we all want her." He told his son softly, slowly capturing him in his arms.

''Please!''

"Sweetie I'm sorry..." He hugged him tightly.

''I want mommy!'' He yelled and suddenly Hailey started to cry as well. ''I want mommy too!''

"Aw baby." Derek pulled his daughter close too, holding both of them against him. "It'll all be just okay."

''We want mommy!''

"She'll be okay, everything will be just fine." He told them over and over again.

''Mommy!''

"Shh... babies..." He whispered, hugging them tightly.

''Please!''

"Hails... Jussie..." He tried not to get too emotional.

''I want mommy.'' The little girl sobbed.

"I know you do, we all do."

''I wanna see her.''

"She's asleep honey, I'm sorry but we can't go there now."

''Why? Mommy comes when I sleep!''

"Well you two can be quiet can you?"

They both instantly nodded.

"Okay then." He sighed. They looked at him. He lifted them both and walked into the house, taking their towels on their way inside the house. They held onto him.

"Let's get you two dry first okay?" He placed a kiss on the top of Hailey's head as they walked up the stairs into their room. The two waited patiently. About five minutes later or so they tiptoed into the master bedroom. The kids ran over to the bed.

"Shit." He silently cursed, of course this had to happen. Addison started to wake as she felt the covers shift.

"Jussie, Hails!" He called them in a whisper.

''I can't get on bed!''

"Me neither!" The other twin replied, trying to climb but not managing. Addison opened her eyes. Derek cursed once again silently, watching as the twins carried on trying. She looked around the room sleepily.

"I can't get on bed!" Hailey exclaimed, pouting.

''Hailey?'' Addison asked sleepily.

"MOMMY!" Hailey smiled widely and tried even harder. Addison picked her up from the ground and then looked at her husband confused. Derek shrugged. "They didn't want to swim anymore and PROMISED they'd be quiet." He gave the twins a look. "Besides they missed you."

''Oh...''

"Couldn't say no to them, they started crying." He shook his head, leaning against the doorframe.

''Why did you start crying?'' She looked at her twins.

"I missed you mommy, and you didn't come swimming!" Justin got on the bed after several tries.

''Well mommy is too tired to swim right now.''

"Daddy told you were VERY tired." Hailey said worried.

''Yeah mommy just needs some sleep.''

"But why?" Justin asked, lying down next to her.

''Because I haven't slept much last night.''

"Why haven't you? What did the doctors do to you?" Hailey rolled onto her stomach, leaning her head in her hands, her elbows on the bed.

''Nothing honey.'' Addison stroked her hair.

"You sure?" Her son asked just as worried.

''Yes sweetie.''

Derek slowly made his way to the bed and say down at the end of the bed. Addison looked at him. He looked back at her, not saying anything. She didn't either. He gave a little sigh after a while, looking at his kids. "You still tired Addie?"

''Yeah...''

"Want to eat something before going back to sleep?"

''No I'm okay.''

"You sure?"

''Yes.''

"Okay then, bug, Jussie, let's go do something while mommy sleeps." He told them.

''I wanna stay with mommy!''

"I know you do but mom needs some peace and quietness."

''Pleaaasee!''

"Not now sweetheart." He told steadily.

''They can stay Derek.''

"Fine, stay then, just let her sleep." Derek told them, getting up from the bed.

''You will take a nap with mommy right?''

Hailey nodded excitedly. "Yes!"

''Good girl, you too Jussie?''

He smiled widely. "Yes, I love you mommy."

Derek simply wished he wouldn't have heard this. "I'll be downstairs if you need me."

''You're not staying?''

"I'm really not sleepy, but if you want me to, sure." He tried to hide a smile, failing.

''You don't eh... no... you don't have to.''

"I could, if you won't mind."

''Don't do anything you don't want.''

He shook his head sighing. "It's not that I don't want to, I want to really."

''Okay then.''

He walked to his side of the bed and laid down on his side, looking at his family. They made space for him. Both of the twins were holding onto their mother. Addison hugged them closely. Derek slowly closed his eyes. Addison nuzzled her nose in her daughter's dark hair. "Hmm." Hailey hummed happily and her little fingers held onto Addison's shirt. She closed her eyes. Justin sighed happily, his arms around his mother. Addison started to fall back asleep. A few moments later Justin's eyes fell closed tiredly, Hailey's grip on her mother's shirt loosened and they both fell asleep, their father still lying on his side, desperately trying to get some sleep. Addison reached for Derek's hand, her eyes closed. He held his breath for a while before letting his fingers tangle with hers. Hers lips curled up into a smile. He kept his eyes closed, moving slightly closer to them. Addison fell asleep. After a few moments he started to drift off, his fingers still linked with hers. Both kids snuggled against their parents and they all slept peacefully.


	41. Video Games

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 41 – Video Games_

Two days later they were walking down a fair. Derek was holding his wife's hand while he carried their two-year-old son. He gave the little guy a kiss on the top of his head. Hailey was holding Addison's other hand, looking her eyes out and chattering happily. For the thousandth time the toddler giggled, giving her mother's hand a squeeze as she pointed at yet another thing. Addison smiled at her daughter. Justin was grinning widely as he looked around, leaning his head against Derek's shoulder.

''Do you two want to go on the carrousel?'' Addison asked her children. Hailey's eyes widened and a spark appeared in the corner of her eye. "YES!"

''Okay then.'' They walked towards it.

There were these animals young children could 'ride' with. Horse, kangaroo, pig, cow and all that. They bought two tickets. Derek placed Justin on the ground, smiling. The little boy was practically jumping up and down. Soon the carrousel stopped and the previous people got off it. Addison picked up her daughter. ''Where do you want to sit honey?''

"The pony!" She replied instantly, eagerly.

"What about you buddy?" Derek and Justin walked towards the carrousel as well.

''The kangaroo!''

Derek let out a laugh. "Somehow I could see that coming."

Addison walked to the pony with Hailey. Following her example Derek and Justin went to the kangaroo and Derek picked him up. She placed a kiss in her daughter's black curls. Hailey grinned as she was placed on the pony. Addison held her so she couldn't fall off. Hailey held onto the pony tightly.

''Do you like the fair sweetie?''

"YES!" Hailey looked at her mother with a wide smile on her face. Addison smiled at her and pecked the toddler's lips. Hailey smiled again, pecking her lips back once again.

''I love you little Buggie.''

"I love you too mommy!" Hailey replied excitedly. Justin was sitting on the kangaroo and Derek held onto him so that the little one wouldn't drop off the kangaroo.

''I'm on a kangaroo!''

"Yeah you are budd.y" Derek smiled at him, as his son grinned widely.

"Do you like the kangaroo?" He asked his son, brushing his hair now.

''Yeah!''

"Good." Derek grinned, watching his son. He held on tightly as the carrousel started. Derek carried on looking at the little boy whose smile got only wider. Justin looked his eyes out. Derek looked behind him, at Addison and Hailey. Addison and Hailey were both smiling, talking to each other. This seemed so exciting to Hailey whose smile seemed to be the brightest of all. She held on tightly as the pony moved up and down. There was some music playing as the carrousel kept moving. Addison was holding Hailey around her middle and swaying her softly to the music. Hailey hummed to the tune as she held onto the pony. Addison looked into his direction. Derek gave her a smile as he held his son who was talking loudly about randomness. She gave him a smile back.

"Hi." He mouthed simply, still smiling. She just kept smiling at him. After about a minute the ride stopped. Hailey pouted sadly at her mother, looking up.

''Aw sweetie there are lots of other fun things here!''

"But I like the pony!" She told her mother.

''Wouldn't you like to go in the Ferris wheel and the cars?''

"Oh! Ferris wheel!" She smiled widely and slowly let go of the pony. "Can we go there now?"

''Yeah we'll see what else is here.'' Addison helped her off. Her arms draped around Addison's neck and she kissed her on the lips lightly. "Okay."

Meanwhile Derek had picked up Justin, holding him. They got off of the ride. Derek smiled at his wife and placed a kiss on her forehead before looking at Hailey. "Did you like the ride baby Bug?"

''Yes!'' She smiled widely.

"Great!" Derek laughed softly at his daughter.

''I want to go to the ferris wheel!''

"Really? That's pretty high baby." He smiled at her.

"I wanna go too!" Justin exclaimed. Addison smiled at them.

"Okay then." Derek juggled the boy on his hip, giving Addison a smile.

She gave him one back as they started walking. Derek walked close to his wife, their arms brushing against each others. They walked in silence. He slowly, carefully took her hand in his as they walked to the Ferris wheel. She silently linked their fingers together. He gave her hand a quick squeeze before they reached the ferris wheel. They bought four tickets. They went to the ferris wheel once they were allowed to, Derek still carrying his son on his hip. They carefully got into the boot. Derek was sitting next to Addison and Hailey and Justin sat to the opposite sides of the boot. Addison hesitantly sat against him. He gave her a little smile, letting her know it was okay, more than okay to be exact. She gave him a small smile back.

She gave him a small smile back. He slowly took her hand in his again. She linked their fingers. He lifted their hands up and gave hers a tender kiss. She rested her head against his shoulder. He only held her closer as the ferris wheel began moving. She watched their children. Justin was holding Hailey's hand as it started.

"Eeek it's moving!" Hailey smiled excitedly and looked around, giving Justin's hand a squeeze.

''We're going high!''

"We're gonna get high!" Hailey exclaimed, not even realising what it sounded like, this made Derek chuckle. Addison held his hand a little tighter. Derek looked at his wife, holding her tightly against him. She looked back at him. He slowly inched his lips to hers, giving her a little, light kiss. She gave him a soft kiss back, closing her eyes. He pressed his forehead against hers, placing one more kiss on her lips. She looked into his eyes. He formed three beautiful words on his lips, smiling at her. ''I love you too.'' She whispered. He smiled at her reply, placing a tender, slow kiss on her lips. "Good."

She moved even closer to him. He kept holding her in his arms as the twins talked about ducks. They looked over the fair. The view was amazing, the twins looked amazed by it. Addison watched them with a smile on her face. Her husband was smiling as well as he watched his whole family, his wife, his daughter, his son. It seemed so perfect at the moment. They reached the top. "We're at the top!" Hailey screamed with a smirk on her face as she looked around.

''Shh honey, don't scream.''

Hailey pouted sadly and crossed her arms.

''Honey.''

She stuck out her tongue.

''Hailey!''

"Now that was not a nice thing to do Hailey." Derek told her daughter seriously.

Tears sprang into the little girl's eyes. Justin looked confused but held his sister's hand. Suddenly she started to cry. Justin's arms wrapped around his sister and he hugged her, his eyes filled with tears soon.

''Hailey...'' Addison tried.

"Sweetie." Derek said softly.

"Hails, it's alright." Justin mumbled against her shoulder.

''Derek, take her.'' Addison whispered. The little girl always got upset if her father told her off. Derek sighed and slowly reached for the little girl, placing her on his lap, holding her tightly against him. "Baby..." He whispered against her hair. The little girl sobbed against his chest. He brushed her back gently. "Sweetie... it's okay..."

''Now I'm bad.'' She cried.

"Aw baby... it was just one time, you're not bad." He told her softly, hugging her tightly.

''Really?''

"Yes, really. I love you honey." He whispered into her hair.

''I love you too daddy.''

"Just don't stick out your tongue okay?"

''Okay.'' She said with a small voice.

"Good, daddy's not mad at you, remember that." He gave her a smile as he held her.

''Okay!''

"Good honey." Derek smiled again. She placed a kiss on his cheek.

"That's my girl." Derek smiled and dried away her tears, placing a light kiss on her lips. She now smiled widely. Derek gave Addison a smile and then looked back at his little girl. She was looking over the seat.

"What you looking at baby?" Derek asked and tracked her gaze.

''The fair!''

Derek laughed softly. "Don't you think we're a bit high baby?"

''We are!''

Derek smiled at his daughter. She smiled back at him. ''We can almost touch the clouds!''

Derek smiled widely at her. "Yeah, almost. What do you think clouds feel like?"

''Soft!''

"Yeah I bet they feel soft." Derek looked up to the sky.

''Like feathers.''

"Yeah, I'm sure." He brushed Hailey's hair softly. Addison was holding Justin. Soon the Ferris wheel stopped and they let a boot full of people out. They got out as well. Derek was carrying Hailey while his other arm wrapped around Addison's middle. Addison held Justin's hand.

"I want cotton candy." The little boy tugged at his mother's hand.

''You do?''

"Yes!" He grinned broadly.

''Then let's get some cotton candy.''

"Okay!" The both kids said cheerily. She smiled at them. Derek smiled as well as they made their way towards the cotton candy stand. They stood in the line. Derek's arm was still wrapped around his wife as he talked to Hailey, he couldn't wish for more at the moment.

Addison stepped into the bathroom and slowly started undressing, first to go was the light summer dress she had been wearing. She gazed into the huge mirror, biting on her lip slightly. She turned around so she wouldn't see herself as she took off rest of her clothes. She let out a loud sigh before getting under the shower. She let the water hit her skin, throwing her head back. She stood under the water for a few minutes before picking up the body wash. She poured some in the palm of her hand and put the body wash away. She started to lather up her legs. She soon moved her hands higher, over her stomach and soon her chest. She closed her eyes, disgusted by her own body. She tried not to think about anything, especially not about what she thought was extra fat on her stomach. Everything except her breasts seemed huge. She sighed loudly and ran her hands through her hair, starting to wash it.

She wondered how the hell Derek could even put up with her. She massaged the shampoo into her hair, trying to simply not think. She kept doing this for a minute or so and then rinsed it off quickly. She sighed deeply, reaching for the razor. She brought it to her leg, just for a second thinking about her past. She quickly shook off those thoughts and ran the razor over her leg. She repeated it a few times then the blade slipped. ''SHIT!'' She yelled loudly, reaching for her knee which started to bleed.

"FUCK!" She cursed again and tried to press on the cut. Not even few seconds later the door was opened.

"Are you o-?" He didn't finish his question. She looked up shocked at her husband. His gaze dropped down to her bleeding leg. "Are you bleeding?"

''I cut my knee.''

"It's bleeding pretty bad." He said as he opened the medical cabin.

''I think a bit of the skin is off.'' She quickly wrapped a towel around her.

"Sit on the toilet." He ordered instantly as he looked for some medical stuff.

''What?'' She asked confused.

"Sit down, we can't just let it bleed."

She sighed and sat down on the closed toilet lid. He walked over to her and kneeled down in front of her, taking a hold of her leg. She watched him. He wiped away the blood, making a little face at this. "Ouch. Are you hurting?"

''It's just stinging a little...''

He cut a band-aid for it, running his thumb over it. "How does it feel now? Still stinging?"

''Yeah.''

"Sorry about that." He told softly, stroking her leg lightly.

''It's not your fault.''

"Yeah but still, I don't want you to get hurt." He looked up to her.

''Der, I'm fine.''

"You sure?" He gave her a look. "Your leg is bleeding, I really don't want your leg to bleed."

''I only cut my leg.''

"The band-aid isn't helping." He said as blood seeped out from under the band-aid

''Can you just wrap it up then, I want to continue shaving.''

He gave her a look. "Oh really? You think that you're going to shave after this?"

''I have to.''

"No, you don't have to shave your legs honey." He told her. "Oh look, a kangaroo!" He pointed at a direction and just when she turned her head to look he ripped off the band-aid.

''Ouch!'' Addison frowned before starting to laugh. "And you want to be a real doctor?"

He laughed as well and placed a kiss on her leg. "Sorry, would have hurt more if I took it slowly. And hey, this positively, you don't have to shave that spot."

She rolled her eyes and laughed. ''Just let me go and continue to shave.''

"Nuh uh, I won't let go. I'll even shave for you but you're not gonna shave this leg, or the other one by yourself."

''Are you kidding me?'' She laughed.

"Nuh uhh." He grinned at her, placing a kiss on her leg as he wiped away the blood again.

''Go ahead then.''

"Really?" He couldn't do anything else but smile, starting to treat the cut, bandaging it.

''Don't look like you're happy about this.'' She laughed.

"Shush, don't bother the doctor." He gave her a grin as he kept doing this carefully, bandaging it slowly so that nothing would go wrong. She rolled her eyes.

About a ten seconds later he was done with her leg. "Can you move it?" He asked.

''Yes Derek.''

"Good, now where is the razor?" He asked his wife softly, brushing his hand over her leg.

''Shower.''

He got up from the floor, stretching his back. She watched him. He walked into the shower and took the razor, seeing a little bit of skin there. "Ouch. These things are dangerous."

''Tell me about it.''

He went to the sink and quickly washed it. "You don't need to have perfectly shaved legs you know? They're always pretty anyway."

''I want smooth and soft legs.''

He shook his head at her. "Fine, they're your legs." He walked back to her.

''Don't cut me.''

"Now would I ever do that to you?" He gave her a questioning look as he sat down in front of her.

''Who knows. And you're only shaving my legs.''

"Hmhmm sure that's what you think." He gave her a dirty look before laughing.

''I'm serious!''

"Me too." He grinned at her again, taking a hold of her leg, resting it on his lap.

He ran his fingers over the now smooth skin, pleased with the results as he repeated his actions on another spot. She watched him. He was absolutely focused on this, his lips pursed together just the slightest bit as he kept doing the same movement. She chuckled a little.

"What?" He looked up to her for a moment.

''Nothing.''

"Oookay." He gave her a weird look. "Gimme a kiss."

She bent forward, keeping her towel in place. He placed his lips on hers, closing his eyes. She softly kissed him. He kissed her for several moments, holding the razor in his other hand, off of her.

''Now, continue Doc.''

He pouted slightly before carrying on shaving her leg. "You're totally using me Mrs. Shepherd."

''What if I am?''

"Ah, that'd hurt my feelings." He faked shocked.

''Aw baby.''

He pouted again before he was ready and placed a sloppy kiss on her leg.

''Almost done?''

"With this leg I am." He ran his hand over it before taking it off of his lap. She ran her fingers over it.

"Smooth enough for your majesty?"

''Yes, feel.'' She smiled and swung her leg towards him. He ran his fingers over her leg, a bit higher than usually "Really, really smooth. I must say that the person who shaved this leg was great at it."

''I should let this person also do my other leg.''

"Oh yes?" Derek brought her other leg into his lap, her foot landing on his crotch unintentionally. She giggled, rubbing her foot up and down. His expression changed to surprised and he bit down on his lip. "Oh god."

She grinned. A little moan left his lips as he tried to think about something else, anything. She leaned towards him. He placed the razor on the floor and cupped her face with his hands, kissing her.

''You're not done yet.'' She mumbled, replacing her foot with her hand.

"I'll finish later." He replied as another moan passed his lips.

''No.''

"Hmm why not?"

''I need to shave.''

"Hmm but you can do that a bit later right?" He pulled her closer.

''No.''

"Yes you can." He brushed her cheek with his hand softly.

''No, finish my other leg and then let me continue.''

"That's a deal." He replied, softly pulling back from the kiss.

''Thank you.''

"No problem." Yes, a problem. He slowly took a hold of her leg, taking the razor.

She smiled at him. He placed one quick kiss on her lips before he concentrated on shaving her leg, trying hard to ignore how good it had felt against him.

''Almost done?''

"Soon." This one was done a lot faster.

''Hmm.''

He ran the blade over her skin a few more times before his fingertips moved over her leg.

''Smooth?''

"Very, very smooth." He gave her a grin, very, very happy with himself.

''Great.''

"Hmm yeah." He put away the razor and then looked up at her.

''Now get out and let me finish showering.''

"You're such a mean woman you know that right?" He threw her a glance before he got up.

''Why? Be happy.''

He placed a kiss on her lips. "Sure, I am."

''Good.''

"I'm gonna take a shower after you." A cold one.

''Why?''

"I just feel like I need one." He softly brushed her hair.

''So you're going to shower instead of having hot sex with me?''

His eyes brightened as he looked at her. "Of course not."

''Well then.''

Then he simply kissed her.

''Let me go.'' She mumbled.

"No." He pouted slightly against her lips.

''Yes, come on.''

"Nooo." He replied again, kissing her again.

''Derek, I'm serious.''

"Fine, but there better be some hot sex." He pecked her lips once more.

''Isn't there always?''

He smirked at this. "Good point."

''Besides, you could check on it later.'' She winked. He grinned widely, placing a kiss on her lips. "Oh I will."

''Hmmm good.''

"Don't take too long." He smiled at her before walking towards the door.

''I won't.''

"I love you." He told her from across the room, throwing one more smile as he opened the door.

''I love you too.''

He walked out of the room. "Have fun." He smirked at her before closing the door.

A few minutes later she walked into the bedroom. He was reading a medical book but when the door closed his gaze drifted away from the book and he focused on her. She was naked save for a towel.

"You look great." He instantly said, closing the book.

''Hmm thank you.'' She said, though she didn't believe a word he said. He smiled at the sight of her, looking at her long legs. "Hmhmm no problem."

She walked over to him. He slowly pulled her on the bed, smiling. She grinned at him. He placed his lips on hers quickly. She kissed him. He kept kissing her softly and softly ran his fingers through her hair. Her hands were on his cheeks. Derek let his hand move down her back now. She whimpered against his lips.

"Hmm?" He mumbled against her lips.

''I want you.''

"Hmm I want you too." He replied and pulled her even closer. She smiled against his lips. He rolled them over on the bed, his lips still on hers. She pulled him on top of her. His body lay against hers though he made sure he wasn't hurting her. She started kissing his jaw. He took her other hand into his, bringing it next to her head. She smiled against his skin. He let out a soft moan and brought her other hand next to her head as well. She wrapped her legs around his waist. "Hmm..." He moaned again, starting to kiss down her neck. She pushed her hips against him. He bit on his lip slightly, feeling his pulse getting faster. She ran her fingers through his hair. He soon let his fingers move down her body, taking off the towel. She let him take it off. He kissed on her collarbone rather powerfully. She let out a moan. His fingers travelled over her stomach.

''Hmmm Derek.'' Derek smiled against her skin, letting his hands travel towards her breasts. She moaned. He cupped them and started kissing on her neck.

''Hmm Der, please.''

"Please what?" He couldn't help but smirk at her impatience.

''I want you.''

"How much do you want me?" He whispered against her soft skin.

''A lot.'' She mumbled.

"Hmm... that's good but I think there's a little something called boxers separating us." He mumbled as he started kissing on the spot a bit under her ear.

''Take them off.''

He did as told, pushing them off his hips.

''Thanks.''

"Hmm my pleasure." His erection now pressed up against her. She grinned at him. He grinned back at her before he kissed her. ''Hmmm.'' He slowly brought her leg around his hips again. She kept on kissing him. "You ready?" He mumbled against her lips. ''For you.''

He grinned softly as he gently entered her. She threw her head back, moaning loudly. A loud groan of pleasure escaped from the back of his throat as he pushed further into her. ''Hmmm.'' She moaned, gripping his sides. "Oh god..." He slowly started thrusting into her. She felt her entire body burning. He placed his lips back on hers.

''Harder babe.''

"Hmm you want it hard?" He grinned against her lips again, letting the pace get faster. She nodded to him. He began thrusting deeper into her, his hips slamming against hers. ''Oh god.'' She moaned out loudly, holding onto him. "Hmm Addie..." He moaned into the kiss, pushing his tongue into her mouth. ''You feel so good.'' She wrapped her other leg around him as well. This one simple move made him go deeper. "Hmm... you too..." She lifted her hips up. Their hips collided, making him moan loudly.

''Oh Derek.''

"Addison..." He moaned out her name. She clenched her muscles around him. He pulled back from the kiss, gasping for some fresh air. She started moaning louder and louder with each thrust. The pace got faster and harder, their bodies moving together as one. ''I'm close.'' She breathed. "Me too." He really was, not sure if he would be able to hold himself back for too long. She bit down on her lip, her eyes closed. He kept thrusting into her with the same speed but deeper and harder.

''Derek!'' She cried out, her orgasm hitting her hard. Just a thrust later he felt like his mind was about to explode as his body shook slightly with the power of his orgasm. Her chest moved up and down heavily. A while later his body was lying against hers, trying to catch his breath. ''Hmmm.'' She smiled.

"Hmm wow..." He had a grin on his face.

''That was great.''

"It always is to be honest." He replied with a slightly cocky voice.

''I know honey.''

He placed a kiss on her lips. She smiled at him. He placed a kiss on her neck.

''I love you.''

"I love you too, more than anything." He replied. She raised her eyebrows.

"What? It's true."

''What about your children?''

"I love them too, a lot, very much. More than... anything." He now realised that this made sense.

''Anything, again?''

He rolled her eyes at her. "I love my family more than anything."

''Good.'' She chuckled.

He grinned at her, kissing her on the lips softly. She kissed him back tenderly. ''Hmmm home tomorrow.''

"Yeah... it's nice to go back... to our house... have our things around..." and my parents... The thought of seeing them made him smile.

''The twins birthday.''

"Yeah, they're already turning three."

''I can't believe it.''

"Yeah me neither, a bit under three years ago our little Justin and Hailey were born."

''Yeah, seems like yesterday.''

"Yeah, the time really does fly."

''Yeah...''

"I love our family so much" He brushed her side softly.

''Me too...''

He pressed a little kiss on her lips. She smiled. He smiled back at her, slowly starting to pull out of her.

''Hmm no.'' She pouted.

"Aw." He couldn't help but smile at her cuteness. "You don't want me to move?"

''No.''

He slowly returned to his earlier position, brushing her hair. "Good."

''I love you.''

"I love you way more."

''Do not!''

"Uh uh, I totally do."

''Not.''

"I even tattooed your name on my arm." He placed a kiss on her jaw.

''Hmm you did.'' She smiled.

"Hmm yes, it's a pretty tattoo.." He smiled softly.

''I know honey.''

He looked at it for a while before gazing back into her eyes. She smiled softly at him. His lips curved up into a gentle smile. She traced her fingers over his jaw. He let his fingers move to hers, placing a kiss on her ring. This made her smile widely. e tangled his fingers with hers.

''Hmm we should sleep.''

"Yeah we should..." He gently rolled them over on the bed. She now lied on top of him. He brushed her back, smiling at her. She closed her eyes. He watched her silently for a few moments.

''Sweet dreams Der, I love you.''

"Dream about me, I love you too, so much."

''I always do.''

He smiled at this and slowly closed his eyes.

''I love you."

"I love you too." He replied in a whisper. She smiled, pulling the blankets up. He wrapped his arms around her tiny figure. She snuggled closer against him. He placed a kiss on the top of her head, trying to catch some sleep. She already started to drift off. Just a few minutes later he fell asleep once he had made sure nothing was going to hurt her.


	42. Fly Fly Fly Away

_Hey y'all! There are no excuses for not updating this story in like a gazillion years. I do hope there are some people left who enjoy reading this. Please leave a review if you do!  
This chapter is more of a filling chapter before Addek heads back home._

* * *

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 42 – Fly Fly Fly Away_

Derek woke up from a deep slumber, it took several moments for him to locate where he was, their apartment in Australia, and what woke him up, soon realizing it was his wife. Noises kept leaving Addison's lips as she tossed and turned against him. He tried to sooth her down by rubbing her back, whispering something in her ear. "Addison..." Suddenly a shriek left her lips. His heart jumped at the sudden noise, gently shaking her to wake her up. "Addison, Addison?"

She opened her eyes. He looked into her eyes. "Addison?"

Addison opened her eyes and looked around, her eyes landing on Derek ''Oh god.'' She groaned and let her head fall back against the pillow. ''I had a horrible nightmare.''

"Sh.. it's okay now." He kept touching her back gently, stroking the skin. "What was it about?"

''We crashed.''

"Huh?" He looked at her.

''We crashed. And the twins and you died.'' She still seemed startled by her dream.

"Honey..." He held her tighter against him, pressing kissed on her hair. "Sweetie it's okay, we're all alright."

''It was horrible.'' She accepted his embrace.

"I'm so sorry baby..." He told her truthfully, hating to see her like this.

''I don't want to get on the plane tomorrow.''

"Sweetie, the plane won't crash tomorrow." He spoke softly.

''And Hailey's head was-''  
"Honey... it's alright."

''No, it's not okay.''

"Sweetie, it wasn't real, Hailey's okay, Justin's okay, I'm okay." His fingers brushed her sides.

''I need to check on them.''

"Don't take too long okay?" He brushed a stray of hair off her face. She nodded and wiped her nose, getting out of the bed. He watched her. "Put on a robe or something, I don't want you to get cold baby."

She walked towards the already packed suitcase and got out a sleeping gown. He rolled onto his stomach and buried his head into the pillow "I love you." He mumbled into his pillow. She walked quickly towards her twins' room slightly worried. She walked through the door silently, seeing both kids lying in bed. They were both alright, nothing was going to hurt them. They were safe. She let out a sigh of relief, walking further into the room. She walked over to the bed and bent down, brushing Justin's hair. She let her fingers run through the boy's soft hair, smelling the baby shampoo from earlier. She pressed a little kiss on his forehead and smiled.

''I love you baby.'' She whispered, running her index finger over his small cheek. The little boy shifted a bit, a little smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Addison couldn't help but smile at this. She placed a kiss on his cheek. Then Addison straightened her back, whispering him good night and bringing the blankets up higher. She tugged in him safely and warm, then moving to her daughter. She smiled at the sleeping baby girl, she was okay. Her hand brushed on the little girl's cheek. Hailey was her little princess. Addison gave her a kiss as well. ''My little princess.'' She whispered. "I love you so much." She told her quietly, her fingers moving over her cheek. She gave her another kiss. She spent a few minutes like this, watching them sleep before she tugged her in as well. She gave both of them a kiss. ''I love you two babies so much.'' She slowly got up, looking at them as they slept peacefully. She made sure they were comfortable before walking towards the door.

She took one more look at them and bit on her lip before closing the door after she left the room. She sighed. She walked back towards her room. She pushed open the door and stepped in. She got into the bed. Derek was asleep by now, lying on his stomach, using most of the space. She pushed him away a little. He rolled onto his back, now on his side of the bed. She pulled up the blankets. He wrapped an arm around her softly as he felt her against his side. She smiled. He stayed asleep, holding her. She hugged him. He slowly started to wake up again, placing a kiss on her jaw. She smiled when he kissed her. He pulled her closer, smiling against her skin.

''I love you.'' She whispered.

"I love you too" He replied her in a loving tone.

''Sorry if I woke you.''

"Hmm you did but it doesn't matter baby."

''Sorry.''

"Don't be." He gave her a kiss on the lips. She hugged him closer. His leg tangled together with hers, smiling at her. "The kids are okay?"

''Sleeping peacefully.''

"That's good." He brushed his fingers over her back.

''Hmhmm.''

"I love you." He said again.

''I love you too.''

He threw her a smile. She gave him one back.

"We should probably go back to sleep."

''Yeah.'' She pecked his lips.

"Sweet dreams baby." He whispered.

''You too babe.''

He pulled her close to him.

''I love you so much.'' She held him tightly.

"I love you too, you're my everything."

She smiled widely. He grinned at her and kept her close. She closed her eyes. Derek slowly let his eyes fall close. She fell asleep soon. He soon drifted off as well, holding his wife as close as possible.

The next day they were at the airport, about to board the plane back home.

Derek was smiling at his daughter who was telling them about kangaroos, some facts weren't right but at least she had imagination. "Sweetie, kangaroos don't sleep in the trees."

''But they do daddy!''

"Okay, sure baby." He placed a kiss on her forehead.

''Daddy?''

"Yes baby?"

''When is my birthday?''

"In two days sweetie." He told her, brushing her cheek lightly.

''Soon!''

"Yes it is." He laughed and placed a kiss on her cheek.

''When will us be home?''

"Well we're going to be there before your birthday, don't worry about that."

''That long?''

"Yeah, we'll be home tomorrow sweetie."

''Tomorrow?''

"Yes." He brushed her hair.

''I wanna go home today.''

"You'll sleep most of the time baby."

''No.''

"Sweetie." Derek gave her a look.

''I wanna be home!''

"Daddy wants to go home too but he won't whine about it and neither should you baby."

''I'm not whining!''

"I'm just saying baby."

''I wanna have my doll.''

"Ads, do you have Hailey's doll?" He asked his wife, this was going to be a long flight.

''Yeah.'' She opened the travel bag.

"Thank god." Derek let out a sigh of relief, holding out his hand for the doll.

She gave him the doll. Hailey soon got her doll and Derek looked at Addison. _She looks pretty today, like always_ , he thought.

''Derek can we sit down please?''

"Yeah, sure." Derek nodded instantly, looking at her. "You alright?"

''Yeah.''

"Okay." They walked towards some chairs. She sat down with Justin. He sat down as well, Hailey sitting on his lap, playing with her doll. Addison closed her eyes.

"Addie?" Derek asked, softly taking her hand in his.

''Yeah?''

"You sure you're alright?" He gave her hand a soft squeeze.

''Yeah why?''

"You seem a bit... tired." Derek didn't know how to explain it.

''I am tired.''

He held her hand softly in his. "Sleep on the plane okay?"

Addison nodded at his suggestion. "Yeah, I'll try."

He sighed at her. "We should talk when we get home."

''Why?''

"About the passing out." He replied, looking at her. She sighed. ''I just fainted, it's really warm here and I wasn't used to it.''

"Sweetie, you and I both know that's a lie." He hated it when she lied to him like this.

''No we do not.''

"Yes, you're lying to me right now. That's not the truth at all."

''Derek.''

"Addison."

''I do not have, _that_.''

"I think you do have _that_. I don't want you to you know what again. I just can't do this, I can't go over that again. You know I called my mom panicking? I can't handle another visit to you know _where_."

''I don't have _that_.''

"You're lying to yourself Addison."

''No I'm not.''

"Yes you are, you've lost a massive amount of weight and it's not healthy. You've passed out. I think you have _it_."

''I don't so stop it okay.''

"No, I won't just watch you starve yourself."

''I'm not starving myself.'' She hissed. He gave her a look. "Sure, whatever." He looked at his daughter, softly bouncing her on his lap.

She looked at Justin who was playing with a dinosaur toy. You didn't have to be a psychiatrist to know she wasn't healthy. He brushed his daughter's hair softly, trying to calm down.

''Do you want something to drink baby?'' Addison asked her son.

"Juice!" He smiled.

"Me too!" Hailey grinned widely.

''Okay, do you two also want something to eat?''

Hailey shook her head. "Nope."

"Yes! Yes! I want a sandwich." Justin batted his eyelashes.

''A cheese sandwich?''

He nodded at her. She got two bottles and a sandwich out of the bag. Hailey reached for the other bottle. "Thank you mommy!"

''You're welcome honey.''

She took the bottle from her mother and tried to open it before pouting. "I can't open ittt."

''Give it to me then.''

Hailey gave it back and crossed her arms. Addison opened the bottle for her. Hailey took it and sipped her drink.

''Can you get it open Jussie?''

Justin sipped it looking proud. "Yes."

''Good boy.'' She stroked his hair. Derek smiled at them, placing a kiss on Hailey's hair. "Does that taste good?"

The little girl nodded her head.

"Good." Derek placed another kiss on her hair. "Give daddy a little sip too?"

Hailey gave the bottle to her daddy. Derek took a sip of the juice. "You're right, this tastes good." He gave her back the bottle.

''Thank you daddy.''

"You're welcome." He took her little foot in his hand. Hailey giggled.

Derek smiled at her. "I love you sweetie."

''I loves you too daddy.''

His fingers brushed her foot lightly.

''That tickles!''

He laughed softly at her. "Oh yes?"

''Yes!''

He smiled widely and placed a kiss on her black curly hair. She turned around and wrapped her short arms around her father's neck, her bottle still in her hand. "Aw." Derek smiled again and hugged his daughter. She hugged him tightly. He held her against him and brushed her back. She closed her eyes. Derek smiled at her, his other hand easing the bottle away from her hand. Her head was buried in his neck, laying on his shoulder.

He brushed her back, giving a kiss on her hair. "Addison could you take the bottle?" He held it out for her as Hailey started to fall asleep. He heard her breathing getting slower and a smile graced his lips. After just a few seconds the toddler was asleep. He moved her slowly and carefully so that she wouldn't wake up. She cuddled close to him. He watched her sleep. "Sweet dreams." He whispered.

''Do you want a blanket for her?'' Addison whispered.

"Yeah, thanks." He replied in a quiet whisper, giving his wife a little apologizing smile. She got out a Hailey's old baby blanket. Derek brushed Hailey's side as he waited for the blanket. She gave it to him. He took it and wrapped Hailey into her blanket. Addison took off the girl's shoes. Derek smiled at this, tugging a few curls behind Hailey's ear. She put the shoes in the bag. ''Are you tired too Jussie?''

He nodded his head slowly, yawning a bit.

''Okay do you want a blanket baby?''

"Yes." He replied and leaned against his mother. She got out his blanket. Justin's small hand reached for it. She laid it over the little boy.

He closed his eyes. "I love you mama."

''I love you too Jussie.'' She took off his shoes. He slowly started to fall asleep. She cuddled him against her. He gripped her shirt softly and fell asleep.

''How long until our flight boards?''

"Like an hour or so." He looked at the big clock.

''Okay.''

He turned to look at her.

''What?''

"I'm just looking at you." He shrugged.

''Okay.''

"I miss my mom." He said randomly.

''You miss your mom?''

"Yeah, you know how much we always talk, now I've called her just once." He shook his head, feeling slightly guilty.

''Why?''

"Because I needed her and I was going insane." He looked at her again.

''No why did you only call her once?''

"I don't know, we really didn't have time. We were always doing something."

''No we were not.''

"You're making me feel like a bad person." He looked at her, his brows furrowing in annoyance.

''I'm not doing anything!''

"Shh don't yell." Derek brushed Hailey's hair. "You're telling me we weren't busy, of course that makes me feel bad. I already feel guilty for not talking to her."

''Well that's not my fault.''

"I never said it was." He shook his head and looked down to his baby girl.

''You're indicating it.''

"Am not, it's not your fault I didn't call her."

''It isn't.''

"I know that, I just told you I miss her." He mumbled, maybe he should have just stayed quiet.

''Okay.''

He nodded. "Yeah. Now I understand what you have to go through with your dad." He stroked Hailey's soft cheek.

''You haven't seen your mom for two weeks, I hadn't seen my dad in years.''

"I know, this already sucks." He said quietly. "I'm sorry you have to go through that everyday, not seeing him, not talking to him."

''Yeah, well.'' Addison replied dismissively, looking into an entire different direction.

Derek took her hand in his slowly, wanting her to know he wasn't blaming her for anything. After a few seconds she gave his hand a small squeeze. He looked at her direction a smile playing on his lips, giving her hand a little squeeze back, this is what their marriage had come to he figured as his smile disappeared, any positive reaction he got from her, no matter how tiny, gave him hope.

''It's going to be a long flight.''

"Yeah, it will." He nodded, looking at his son. "We could come here again someday, in like a year, or two."

''Yeah we'll see.'' She replied dismissively again.

He brushed the back of her hand softly. "Yeah."

''We don't have the money and time to go that soon again.''

"We could invite your father to New York." He suggested, trying hard to make an eye-contact.

''We'll see.''

"Okay." He pressed a little kiss on Hailey's curly hair.

Addison closed her eyes. Derek looked at the people at the airport. She held Justin, who was asleep, protectively against her chest. He brought Addison's hand to his lips, pressing a light kiss on it. She opened her eyes to look at her husband. He placed another kiss on her hand and looked into her eyes.

''I really want to go home.''

"Me too, I miss our house." He replied.

''Me too.''

"I can't believe I'm saying this but I miss Mark too." He rolled his eyes.

''Mark?''

"Yeah. And my mom, and dad, everyone." He shrugged slightly, giving her hand a little squeeze, keeping it close to his face so that he'd be able to kiss it whenever he wanted.

''Yeah...''

Again he placed a little kiss on her hand, silence falling over them.

''I don't really have anyone to miss...''

"You have Milla, and my mom cares for you." He felt guilty once again.

''I never see Milla and your mom cares for me because I'm her son's wife.''

He sighed slightly. "Sorry for that. Maybe you're right, maybe you should go out ever once in a while. Party or whatever." She had no idea how much it took from him to say this.

''But you don't want me to do that.''

"No I don't but you want to go out..."

''So?''

"So, maybe you should, get some friends." He replied.

''You don't want me to.''

"Addison, I'm letting you do this, let's try it."

''No.''

"What? You don't want it anymore?"

''I don't.''

"Okay then."

She crossed her arms. He sighed at this. "So now you're pissed off because I offered you something you wanted to do?"

''No.''

"Then why do you seem so pissed off?"

''Because, really, it's what you say 'I offered you something you wanted to do'.''

He gave her a weird look. "What?"

''You're acting like I need permission from you before I do something for myself.''

He sighed. "Addison, that's not the thing at all. Okay yes maybe I think you shouldn't go out, that's not because I don't trust you, I don't trust those guys. I grew up with Mark, that says it all. I know that type. I don't want you to be around people who want to sleep with you when they first see you." He didn't know what to say anymore.

''Oh right, so it's about all those other people.'' She said in a sarcastic tone.

"God Addison, could you stop that?" He rubbed his face with his hand.

''Stop what?!''

"That, sarcasm and I wouldn't mind if you stopped yelling."

''You know what? I don't care, the world doesn't revolve around Derek Shepherd, and my world sure as hell doesn't either.''

He shook his head at her, biting on his lip. "Okay, good we've cleared that one out." He was furious now, but tried to do what was right for his children which right now was shutting the fuck up and calming down.

''I'm glad we did.''

He looked away from her. She looked down at Justin.

"We should stop talking." He brushed Hailey's cheek.

''Then do that.''

He bit on his lip as he looked at the clock. This indeed would be a long flight. She got up with Justin. He looked at her. The boy didn't wake up. Derek raised his eyebrow at her. She wrapped Justin tighter in his blanket. He looked at Hailey, not daring to look at his wife. She started to walk around. He sighed and placed a kiss on Hailey's little cute nose. Addison was holding Justin close, kissing the top of his head. He stroke Hailey's cheek softly, trying to calm down. She continued walking through the hall. He rubbed his face tiredly and slowly looked up. Addison was softly swaying the little boy. He instantly looked back down. She walked towards the water cooler. Derek looked at his little girl, placing a small kiss on her lips. Addison got some water.

Derek sighed, watching his little girl. "Don't ever grow up, okay?" Hailey just continued to sleep peacefully. "I'll take that as a yes." He whispered softly, trying to smile at least a bit. Addison walked back to her seat. He didn't look up, just kept stroking Hailey's cheek. She settled. He looked to the other direction. Addison closed her eyes. He looked around the airport again. She tried to sleep. Derek tried his best not to think about this. She started to drift off. A lonely sigh escaped his lips.

The next day the Shepherd's were sat in the long flight back home. Derek was sitting next to his wife though he really didn't feel like it at all. Hailey was looking at the screen impatiently. "Will the movie start soon?"

''Yes baby.'' Addison answered.

"What movie is it?" She asked yet another question as she played with Addison's curls.

''I don't know.''

"The one with the princess and a man that looked like daddy was nice." Hailey grinned and compared her hair to Addison's.

''What movie was that then?'' Addison watched her.

"It also had a squirrel!" Hailey said cheerily. Derek let out a little laugh.

"Enchanted?" He suggested.

''Oh okay.'' Addison placed a kiss against her daughter's face.

Hailey screwed up her nose, giggling. "It was a nice movie! And they kiiissed!"

''Oh did they?'' She chuckled.

"Ya!" She nodded and pecked her mother's lips. ''I love you baby.''

"I loves mommy too." Hailey grinned widely at her and turned to look at the screen. Addison held her daughter close. Derek tickled his son's stomach lightly as he slept. Justin was crawled up against his father's strong chest. Derek placed a little kiss on the top of his head, watching him sleep peacefully. Addison tried to focus on the movie. Derek turned his gaze to the screen, playing with Justin's hair. Addison hugged her daughter, nuzzling her nose in her black curls, smelling the baby shampoo. Derek brushed his son's hair with his fingers as the boy kept sleeping in his arms.

''Do you like the movie baby girl?'' Addison whispered.

"Yes, shh mommy I'm trying to watch." Hailey smiled widely as she looked at the screen.

''Sorry Hails.''

She grinned and leaned against her. Addison stroked the toddler's stomach. She giggled lightly, squirming in her arms. Addison chuckled at this. "That tickles." She whispered like it was a secret. ''Oh does it?'' She whispered back smiling. She nodded quickly, her little fingers tangling with her delicate ones. Addison gave her daughter another soft peck on the lips. Hailey smiled widely and looked at the screen again, focusing hard on the movie. Addison glanced quickly at her husband. He was looking at Justin, stroking his cheek. She watched them for a second. He looked at the screen, seeing her look from the corner of his eye. She sighed softly as she turned to look at the screen as well. He gazed at her direction, watching her for a moment or two or three. She turned to look at him. He gave a little smile, slowly looking at the screen. She kept looking at him.

He could feel her eyes on him and only a few moments later he found himself looking into her eyes again. She gazed into his eyes, trying to read him. He had no idea what was going on in her mind so he just kept looking at her. She couldn't read him in any way. He looked at her lips for a moment before he turned his attention back to the screen. She turned away as well and sighed. He bit on his lip and watched the movie. She closed her eyes. He couldn't fight back the feeling, he placed a tender kiss on her cheek. She looked at him surprised. He looked into her eyes for a while before he turned his gaze to the screen.

''Derek?''

"Yeah?"

''I love you.'' She whispered.

He replied about a second later with four words. "I love you too."

She gave him a little smile. He smiled back a bit and looked at the screen, he had a thing for kids' movies. She watched her daughter. She was looking at the screen intensively, her brows furrowed together. Addison smiled and stroked her soft dark curls. He smiled at the sight, seeing Hailey's lips turning up in a smile. Addison placed a kiss in her hair. Hailey giggled and took Addison's hands in hers again. Addison now kissed her little hand. Hailey brought her other hand near Addison's lips as well. "This too!" She laughed softly and placed a kiss on the other hand as well. Now the happy two-year-old leaned against her mother, smiling widely.

''Hmm my little cuddle bear.''

Hailey giggled at her, leaning against her even more. "I loves mommyyy"

''And mommy loves Hailey.''

"Daddy loves both of you too." Derek placed a little kiss on Hailey's hair. Hailey giggled at this.

"What? Don't you love me back baby Bug?"

''I love daddy!''

"Good." He laughed softly, brushing her hair. Hailey gave him her biggest smile, showing all her milk teeth. Derek could only smile at her cuteness, pressing a little kiss on her nose. She giggled loudly. Derek laughed at her. "Silly little girl."

''Silly little daddy!''

He laughed loudly at this. "Addison, am I a little silly?" He looked at his wife.

''Yes.'' She said with a mischievous smile. He gasped at her answer before smiling widely.

''I'm hungry!'' Hailey pouted.

"Already baby?" Derek brushed her hair gently.

''Yes.'' She gave him a sad look and pouted out her lower lip.

"Aw..." He looked around for a stewardess.

''I have a bottle in my bag.''

"Yeah?" Derek let out a sigh of relief.

''Mhm.'' She looked in her bag.

"The reason I love you."

She got out a bottle with juice. Hailey's hands reached for it impatiently.

''There you go baby.''

"Thank you mommy!" She smiled widely at her as she brought the bottle to her lips while Derek placed a little kiss behind Addison's ear. She smiled at this and turned to place a kiss on his lips. He kissed her softly, gently letting their lips move together for quite a while. They only kissed lightly and soft. Neither of them did any sudden movements.

''I love you.'' She whispered against his lips.

"I love you too Addie." He whispered back as he gently kissed he cheek.

She smiled softly.

He leaned their foreheads together. She gazed into his eyes, biting on her lip.

"What?" He whispered as he looked at her lips.

''What what?'' She whispered back.

"You bit on your lip." He mumbled, kissing her on the lips lightly.

''So?''

"So..." He tilted his head to the side slightly, kissing her again.

She closed her eyes. His eyes fluttered closed as well. She tenderly kissed him. They kept the kiss light again. After a few seconds they broke off the kiss. He pecked her lips sweetly. She looked at him. He smiled back at her, kissing her nose lightly. She smiled softly. He placed one little kiss on her forehead. ''I love you so much Derek...'' She whispered. "I love you too, so much." He replied in a whisper. She smiled. He kissed her cheek softly. She closed her eyes. He gently kissed all the way to her lips. She captured his upper lip. He smiled against her lips, bringing his hand to her cheek. She put her hand over his. They kissed like this for several moments and his fingers tangled with hers. They took time to kiss, like they used to. He pulled her slightly closer, brushing her cheek. She placed a few pecks on his lips. He smiled at her soft kisses, pecking hers back as well. She chuckled lightly. He smiled widely, kissing her lips once more. She rested her head on his shoulder. He stroked her hair.

She looked down at their sleeping son. He placed a kiss on her forehead and watched the movie. Addison wrapped her arm around the little boy. Derek smiled at his wife. She closed her eyes again. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders while he kept the other around his son. Addison already started to fall asleep. He watched his family, Justin asleep in his lap, Addison falling asleep next to his shoulder. It didn't take long until she was asleep as well. He rested his head on top of Addison's and let his eyes close as well while Hailey gave a big yawn. The little girl squinted her eyes, determined to stay awake so she could finish watching the movie.

"Daddyyy?" She poked Derek.

"Hmmm?" He stirred.

''Are you sleeping daddy?'' She asked innocently.

"Hmmm was going to." He mumbled and looked at her, rubbing his forehead slightly.

''Okay.'' She grabbed his arm and settled against his side, putting the arm around herself. He let out a small laugh and kissed the top of her head. "Yeah? Do you like the movie honey?"

She nodded her head.

"That's good." He looked at the screen as well as he gently rubbed Hailey's shoulder. Hailey's eyes started to flutter again. He looked at her for a while, smiling. She didn't last longer than two minutes when she stopped fighting her sleep. He smiled softly as he watched her fall asleep, soon letting his eyes close as well. Soon they all were asleep.


	43. Turbulence

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 43 – Turbulence_

Many, many hours after boarding their plane back to New York the flight captain announced the plane was going to land within minutes.

''Finally.'' Addison sighed.

"Exactly." Derek looked at her, giving a smile.

She gave him a smile back.

"Hails, Jussie, are your seatbelts on?" He confirmed from the two year olds.

The two nodded. ''Momma did it.''

"Okay, good." Derek smiled and placed a kiss on Justin's forehead who smiled.

"You excited about coming back home?" He asked his son.

''My birthday!''

He laughed and brushed Justin's hair. "Yeah it's your birthday."

The little boy smiled widely. Derek smiled back at him with an identical smile on his face.

''I'm being three!''

He laughed again. "Yeah sweetie."

''Yay.''

Derek placed a little kiss on his red hair as they began landing. Addison held his hand during this. A few moments later Hailey's eyes began filling with tears.

''Honey what's wrong?'' Addison asked concerned.

"It hurts!" The little girl yelped as she bit on her bottom lip.

''In your ears baby?'' Addison pulled her daughter as close as she could. She nodded multiple times as she cried against her mommy, her little hand gripping on Addison's shirt.

''Shhh honey, it'll be over when we land.'' Addison cooed, softly swaying the toddler in her lap, placing a kiss on her ear. Surprisingly the landing had no affect on the younger one of the twins, who was looking at his father, started talking. "Why is Hails crying?"

"Her ears are hurting sweetie." Derek explained. Addison gave both kids a kiss on their head. Addison's shirt was already wet from the little girl's tears.

''Honey.'' Hailey was shaking a bit, she was scared. ''Baby mommy's here, it's just the air pressure.'' Hailey nodded and took a shaky breath.

''It'll be over when we land.''

She shook her head and bit on her lip before closing her eyes.

''It will be baby, mommy will hold you the entire time.''

"But it hurts!" She yelped again as she held onto her mother.

''I know sweetie pie.'' Derek watched them, hoping he could somehow take away her pain when she kept sobbing. ''It's just a few more minutes baby girl.''

She nodded unsure and tried to be a brave girl, biting on her lip. Addison placed a few kisses on her little cheek. Her tears tasted salty on Addison's lips.

''You're such a strong little girl.'' Addison whispered.

Hailey nodded unsure as she leaned her head against Addison. Tears fell freely down her cheeks.

''Mommy loves you really much Hails.''

"Me too." Hails whispered as she tried to block away the pain. Addison kissed her ears. Slowly she calmed down, her eyes red from the crying and her forehead pounding. ''Shh baby calm down, your heart is racing.'' She sniffed weakly and buried her head against her mother. Addison pressed her against her chest. ''It's okay baby, it's all okay, we're almost home.''

Gabriel Shepherd was sitting on an uncomfortable plastic bench at JFK-airport, he had an arm draped around his wife's shoulders as they gazed into each other's eyes.

''I'm really glad that they're going back today.'' Theresa told her husband, glad her son, daughter-in-law and her grandchildren would be back from visiting Addison's parents.

"Yeah, me too, it's good to have them back home." Gabriel gave a gentle smile.

''Yeah, I missed them, a lot.''

"Me too, I thought it'd be easier to let my 23 year old son go away but... it really wasn't."

''Yeah and I'm really worried about them, because of the whole thing with Addison.''

"What thing? You mean the..?" He raised his eyebrows slightly and gently rubbed her shoulder.

''Yeah…''

"Yeah... it's horrible." He said.

''Yeah, so.''

Gabriel sighed and shook his head. "Do you think they'll make it?"

''Yeah, I do but if they'll be happy? I don't know.''

"Exactly, it just feels like every single obstacle from the whole world is thrown on their path. But I really hope they'll make it..."

''Yeah, they are good people, they don't deserve all this.''

"Yeah... they don't." He nodded and gave a little sigh as he looked at his wife. Theresa sighed as well. ''And Addison... I can't believe she... does... that.''

Gabriel pulled her a bit closer, pressing a kiss on her forehead. "I know, that's not like her, at all..."

"I know...''

Gabriel sighed again. "She didn't even need to lose weight, maybe after the twins were born but after she got herself back in shape... she shouldn't have."

''She was back to her normal weight after two months already.''

"Yeah... this is horrible. You never did anything like that, right?"

''God no.''

"I'm glad you didn't." He gave a sad smile.

''I just think Addison wasn't ready to be a mom, and to be honest, three years later now, I still think she isn't ready to be a mom.''

Gabriel nodded as he looked at her. "Sadly, I have to agree on that. She's a great mother but... she missed all the stuff young people do."

''Yeah and I think she's coming to realize that now.''

"This is a mess to be honest, this can't be anything good."

''We can't do anything about that, I think it's fair to expect from two 21 year olds that they know how not to get pregnant.''

"Yeah... they should have known all the possible protections they could have used. But honey, just to remind you, you were on birth control when you got pregnant with Kathleen."

''But she wasn't unwanted, we were at a point in our marriage and lives where a child was very welcome.''

"Yes, our situation was completely different." Gabriel traced his fingers through his wife's hair. "We were ready, they weren't."

''They still aren't Gabby.''

"Especially not in this situation going on with Addison."

''Yeah...''

Gabriel sighed as he rested his head on top of Theresa's.

''I just hope Addison cuts this crap.''

"She has to, if she doesn't, they won't get through this."

''I know.''

Gabriel shook his head, this was so messed up.

''Seriously I'll flip out on her.''

"Theresa." Gabriel knew she was serious about these things.

''I'm serious, she's ruining not only her own life with this.''

Gabriel sighed, nodding. "I know, this only doesn't affect her, this affects Derek, the twins, and her baby."

''Last time she didn't even know if her baby was still alive, I can tell you one thing, I'm absolutely positive it isn't anymore.'' Theresa spat out bitterly. Gabriel shook his head, he couldn't believe this. Anger started running through his veins as well. "I can't believe she actually did this, that she had the damn guts to do this."

''I'm on Derek's side completely here.''

"Yeah, he doesn't deserve this shit. Addison doesn't deserve him, or the twins either. God damn it."

Theresa sighed and shook her head. Gabriel was simply furious with his daughter-in-law. She looked at the board. ''Their flight in landing.''

"Finally." Gabriel mumbled through his teeth.

''Shall we walk up to the gate?''

"Probably." He nodded and got up from the bench.

They walked up to the gate. They waited for a few minutes before they spotted Derek, holding Hailey who had some dried tears on her face. They were carrying their suitcases behind them. Addison was pushing a cart with two suitcases on it, Justin on top of them. He was explaining something, his hands pointing to every possible direction, he had a huge smile on his face. Hailey had her head rested against her father's chest, her arms around his neck. Derek was softly brushing his daughter's back and kissed her softly on the forehead. The little girl was tired from the flight. Derek looked around as he placed another kiss on Hailey's forehead. Addison wasn't paying any attention, she was talking to her son.

Gabriel looked at them and leaned closer to his wife. "Is that Addison? She looks..."

Theresa's mouth fell open. ''Oh my god...''

Gabriel shook his head, looking away for a moment. "Oh... no, no, no, no."

Addison noticed them and warned Derek, walking to them with a big smile. Derek smiled as he looked at his parents and they walked a bit faster. They soon reached them. ''Hey mom.'' Addison smiled widely.

"Addison, hi." She had to fake a smile though all she really wanted was to yell at her. Addison wrapped her arms around her mother-in-law. Theresa hugged her, not as tightly as usually though.

''I missed you two.''

"Oh we missed you too." She pulled back a moment later. Theresa smiled as she saw Hailey waving sleepily. Derek handed the little girl to his mother.

"God I missed you." Derek placed a kiss on Theresa's cheek.

''I missed you too darling.'' She smiled at her son. ''Look at you handsome, you're all tanned.''

"Oh yeah, Australia does that." He smiled back at her, dropping another kiss on her cheek.

"I have tan too." Hailey mumbled against Theresa's chest.

''Oh yes you do Buggie.'' Theresa chuckled, giving the little girl a kiss. Hailey sleepily pouted her lips together for a kiss a second too late, making her father chuckle. Addison smiled at her father-in-law. He gave a polite smile back before focusing on Justin. "Hey big guy, how did the trip go?" He smiled.

''Fun!'' He smiled widely while Addison looked away for a second, both her in-laws acted weird towards her. Gabriel laughed softly. "Give grandpa a hug. I missed you really much Jussie."

The little boy held his arms out. Gabriel took him in his arms and placed a kiss on his forehead as he hugged him tightly. Addison looked at the floor. Everyone seemed to get attention but her. She felt left out and wrapped her arm over her shoulder. While she did so Derek hugged his mother for the second time already. She frowned her eyebrows slightly. Gabriel straightened his back and carried Justin.

''Shall we eh... go?'' Addison asked unsure.

"Yeah, sure." Derek smiled, neither of his parents answered. She felt her heart fall. Why were they acting like this? Theresa nodded at her son and they made their way towards the car. A while later they were settled in the car. Gabriel was driving and Derek had sat down on the passenger seat next to his father. Addison was sitting in the backseat with Theresa and her two children. Theresa was looking at Hailey, asking questions about the trip. She'd talk to Addison later. Addison decided to just look out of the window. She hadn't said a word since the airport. She simply started at the landscape. Justin started playing with Addison's curls. Addison didn't look up.

"Mommyyy I'm hungry." He tugged at her shirt softly. Addison didn't respond. She was mommy-off at the moment. She knew it didn't actually exist, that she couldn't stop being a mommy for a minute or two, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to try. Then Justin turned towards his grandmother. "I'm hungry." He pouted slightly and wrapped his short arms around her waist as much as he could.

''What do you want to eat Jus?'' She asked, wanting to hit her daughter-in-law while she stroked the toddler's back.

"A sandwich! With cheese." He added, smiling at her, smiling widely.

''Hmm let's see if we have that.''

"Okay!" He grinned widely and leaned against her.

Theresa looked in the travel bag. '' Looks like we do!''

"Oh really?! Yay!" Justin was almost jumping up and down. She got out the sandwich and gave it to the toddler, along with some apple juice.

"I love you nana." He gave her a hug before ripping off a piece of bread and sticking it into his mouth.

''I love you too Jussie.''

He smiled widely. "Can you open the bottle for me?" He batted his eyelashes.

''Of course honey.''

"Thank youuu." He gave her the bottle. She opened it and gave it back. He took a long sip and smiled widely at his grandmother. She smiled back at him.

"Why is mommy weird?" He asked innocently as he ate.

''What?''

"Mommy didn't even say anything." Justin pouted.

''Oh well.'' She just answered. Addison heard everything, but just ignored it, she couldn't even care anymore, not even if she wanted to.

Justin leaned against Theresa and for the first time ever on intention the two year old sighed. Theresa hugged the little boy. Justin hugged her back tightly. About an hour later they reached home. Derek looked at his childhood home with a smile on his face, it was good to be back. The car was parked and Addison quickly got out. The others followed her example. She waited at the door. Theresa opened the door with her key, holding Justin. Addison let them walk in first. Derek was holding his daughter against him, starting to remove the little girl's coat. The girl was asleep. He put away the coat and walked into the living room while Gabriel helped Theresa get rid off Justin's coat. Addison walked into the bathroom. Gabriel and Theresa walked into the living room with the sleepy boy.

Derek followed with his daughter. ''Shall we lie them in bed upstairs mom?''

"Yes sure." She nodded and gave her son a little smile, stroking the little boy's back. Theresa walked upstairs behind her son. They stepped into the twin's old room and tucked the twins safely in the beds. Theresa smiled at the two sleeping toddlers. Justin had his lips curved up in a little smile. Derek shook his head slightly, smiling as well.

''So...'' Theresa started.

"So..." Derek looked at his mother, starting to back out of the room.

''How was your flight?''

"Long, boring." Derek said honestly as he closed the door after his mother had stepped into the hallway.

''What about the trip?''

"It was..." He swallowed. "It certainly wasn't boring... sometimes, it was great. I don't know, this is just so confusing."

''Yeah? Shall we talk about that?''

He shook his head slightly. "I don't know."

''Why not?''

"I guess we should talk about it." He gave a little sigh.

''Where?''

"I don't know, somewhere where we can talk about it, just the two of us." Addison would kill him if he talked about this with his mother somewhere where their kids, or Gabriel could hear them.

''Your old bedroom?''

"Yeah, sure." He nodded and led the way.

''Okay.''

They walked into the bedroom where he had spent his nights at just over a month ago, almost two. He sighed.

''So.''

"She has anorexia, she doesn't want to eat, she won't eat, I can't make her eat. She doesn't realise she's underweight, she passed out in a restaurant and still, she won't eat, and I can't make her." He rambled quickly. Theresa just looked at her son. ''I can't believe this.''

He shook his head and let out a loud sigh. "This isn't Addie, this isn't her."

''What about your baby?''

"I don't... I don't know. She doesn't even want the baby, or at least it feels like that." He walked towards the bed so that he wouldn't have to look at her.

''She... she doesn't?''

He shook his head. "I don't know, she... she said something like that earlier, during a fight though."

''Oh...''

"I miss my Addison, this isn't my Addison at all. That person, she's not the Addison I knew." He looked at the walls.

''Der?''

"Yeah?" He asked, not looking in her eyes.

''Do you still love her?''

"With all my heart, but she's hurting me, she's hurting the twins with all this." He mumbled as he let his eyes close for a moment.

''Do you think it's worth it?''

"I love her mom, I really love her, she's my wife. But if this continues, it's not fair for me, or our kids." Derek shook his head.

''Do you want to stay with her if she doesn't change?''

He rubbed his face. "I can't leave her, I need her so much. She's the love of my life and nothing can change that."

''Even anorexia?''

He sighed and sat down on the bed. "I don't know, but it'll pass. Right?"

''It's a disease. You know it won't pass.''

"She can get help, we can help her."

''She'll have to want help.''

"I don't know what to do anymore." He said honestly.

''Neither do I.''

He shook his head, trying to calm down.

''You shouldn't let her hurt you.''

"What do you suggest then?" He finally looked at her.

''Nothing.'' His mother sighed, rubbing her hand over her arm as she looked out of the window into the darkening sky.

"I can't do this, I can't just look at her slowly killing herself."

Theresa nodded. He looked at his mother sadly, getting up.

''Choose for yourself Derek.''

Derek shook his head and then planted a kiss on Theresa's cheek. "I can't leave my wife, I won't... I just need to talk to her about this."

''It's my advice to you Derek. You don't have to listen, you don't have to do it, just never forget it.''

He nodded his head as he swallowed the lump forming in his throat. "Yeah, I won't mom."

''I want what's best for you and the twins.'' She took his hand, looking at him. He gave her hand a little, light squeeze as he sighed deeply. "I know you do."

''So don't take this too far until you can't take it anymore.''

He slowly nodded, looking into his mother's eyes. "Thank you mom."

''You don't have to thank me for anything.''

"I have so many things I have to thank you, you know that very well." He replied, pulling her in for a hug. She hugged her son tightly, closing her eyes. ''You're still my little boy Derek, you'll always be my little boy.'' She whispered. He nodded his head, smile tugging at his lips, replying with what he always said to this. "I'm not a little kid anymore mom."

''You always will be mine though.''

"Sure mom, whatever you want." He hugged her even tighter.

''I love you Der.''

"I love you too mom, wouldn't survive without you."

''Same for you.''

He smiled at this and slowly pulled back from the hug. She gave him a smile. He smiled back, giving her a kiss on the cheek. She gave him another hug. ''You know we're always there for you.''

"Yeah, I'm glad you are there, every time I fall you're there to catch me." He replied, holding her like his life was depending on her.

''And I always will be, no matter what.''

"I love you mom." He said again.

''I love you too boy.''

He kissed her cheek lightly and softly pulled back from her. "Now let's go downstairs."

''Yeah.'' She got up.

A few moments later they walked out of the room. They went downstairs again. Together they walked into the living room and looked at Gabriel who was sitting on the couch. Theresa went to sit next to him. Derek rubbed his forehead as he looked at them, slowly sitting down next to his father as well. Addison walked into the room a minute later. Derek looked up to her for a while before looking back down at the floor as his mother's words kept repeating in his mind.

''Can we go home?''

"Yeah, soon... the kids are asleep in Rach's and Katie's old room."

''I want to go home now.''

"Addison, can you wait a few minutes?" Derek looked at her.

''No.''

"And why can't you?" He asked.

''Because I don't feel good and I want to go home and sleep.''

Of course you don't feel good, you're anorectic, he bit back an answer and sighed. "Okay."

''Thank you.''

He got up from the couch and kissed his mother's forehead. "See you."

''Bye honey."

He gave a little sad smile and walked out of the room. Addison waited in the hallway. Derek walked up the stairs quickly and about two minutes later he returned with the twins, they both asleep against him, Hailey on his hip and Justin on his other. Addison didn't even look at them as she opened the front door and walked to the car. Derek sighed at her and then followed her, carrying kids quietly with a little sad smile lingering on his face. She opened the car and got into the driver's seat. Derek first put Justin on his car seat and then Hailey on the other one before getting on the passenger seat. Addison started the car and drove off.

Later that day, around the twins' bedtime, Derek was dressing Justin in his pyjamas while Hailey was already lying down on the bed. Hailey got under the blankets herself. Derek got his son dressed and placed a little kiss on his nose before picking him up. Hailey stroked her curls out of her face. He placed Justin next to Hailey, knowing they would feel safer this way.

''Hi Jussie.'' Hailey giggled and gave her twin brother a kiss. He chuckled at this and pecked Hailey's lips quickly. "Hi Hails."

"Daddy kissy."

Derek placed a little kiss on Hailey's nose. "There you silly baby."

"Me tooo!" Justin received a kiss on the lips.

''I want a mommy kiss too!''

"Oh yeah? She's downstairs now sweetie." He said.

''Get her.''

"Okay, I'm gonna ask her to come." He told softly, straightening his back.

''Yay!''

He gave a smile before walking out of the room and down the stairs. Downstairs Addison was sitting on the couch with an anatomy book, her legs curled underneath her body.

"The kids want goodnight kisses." He said as he looked at his wife who had been sitting there since they got home.

''Give them one for me.'' She replied dismissively, not looking up from her book

"Addie you know that won't work."

''Well I'm studying.''

"They're your children, put down that book for a minute, go up the stairs and give them a goodnight kiss. Then you can return here and read the whole fucking night. Just give them a kiss before they start crying about it."

"No." Addison simply said, making Derek frown his face in a surprised yet angry way. "No?" He raised his eyebrows.

''I'm busy and they have to accept that.''

"They're turning three tomorrow Addison, they're not old enough to think you're busy. They'll just think you don't love them."

Addison sighed. ''They'll get a kiss tomorrow.''

"Tomorrow isn't today. They're two little kids who need a goodnight kiss from their mother, accept that and give them some love."

''I just said I would later, why are you pushing me like that?''

"Whatever Addi, whatever." He shook his head. "I'm gonna tell them their mother is too busy reading some medical book to give them a kiss goodnight. He took a step towards the hallway. She rolled her eyes and sighed.

"Have fun reading or whatever." He walked into the hallway. She ignored him. Derek sighed a few moments later before walking into the twins' room.

''Am I getting a mommy kissy?'' Hailey asked excitedly as she clapped her hands. Derek gave her a sad smile as he sat on the edge of the bed. "I'm sorry sweetie but mommy is really busy downstairs. She'll give you a big kiss tomorrow." He brushed the little one's cheek.

''But I want a mommy kiss now.'' She pouted.

"Sweetie, mommy has to read a lot." He told her seriously.

''Please daddy please.''

"It's not up to me honey, if I was mommy I'd give you thousand kisses."

She pouted sadly at him.

"No mommy kissies tonight?" Justin looked sad. Hailey's bottom lip started to tremble, their mother always gave them at least one night kiss.

"Aw honey." Derek wrapped his arms around the little girl. Tears started to roll down her face and seconds later Justin followed. Justin leaned against his father and the both kids cried against Derek, who tried his best to keep the situation under control.

''I want mommy kiss.'' Hailey sobbed.

"I know you do sweetie... I'm so sorry honey..." He whispered against her hair as Justin shook his head

"I want mommy too!"

''Mommy!'' She cried. They both sobbed loudly and helplessly, no matter how many times he kissed their foreheads the tears just kept falling. They clung onto him.

"Sh... babies..." He mumbled softly in order to calm them down.

''Get mommy!''

"Sweetie, mommy can't come right now." He told softly.

''Why not?'' Tears kept rolling down her face.

"Mommy's really busy." He sighed as he fought back his own tears, seeing his son's tears as well.

''I want momma.'' He sobbed.

"Honey, darling... mommy can't come right now. Daddy's here."

''NO!''

"Jussie, sweetie..."

Both kids cried loudly. This continued for a few minutes and there seemed to be no end to this.

''Please.'' Hailey begged and tugged at his shirt.

"Sweetie you have to understand that I can't just make her do anything." He sighed deeply, how could he possibly tell his children this.

''Why not?''

"She's downstairs honey, reading, studying." He whispered softly. She only cried harder.

"I'll be right back sweeties." He said after a while and kissed Hailey's cheek. She kept on sobbing.

"I'll ask her again." He told the twins before walking down the stairs again and then entering the living room. "They won't stop crying."

''Hmm.'' She adjusted her reading glasses, her mind occupied with studying.

"Addison, get the fuck off that couch, get that ass of yours upstairs and kiss them goodnight so that I won't have to watch them cry their eyes out." He said more roughly than he was supposed to. She threw her book against the wall and gave him a pissed off look. ''Go to hell.''

"Oh you go to hell." He told her as he looked straight into her eyes.

''Seriously, I asked you to do one thing and you can't even do that!''

"Oh seriously Addison?! You really wanna go there?! Just give them a goodnight kiss! They fucking need their mother, always have."

''And who had to hold two crying babies each night a year ago Derek?! Was I screaming at you then too?!''

He looked at her, his eyes filled with anger. "Oh don't you dare to talk about that! NEVER bring that up during a fight! I just fucking asked you to go upstairs! Is that really such a huge deal to fight about?!"

''Apparently.'' She yelled as she left the room.

He watched her go, crossing his arms, following her. She walked up the stairs. He sighed relieved and went into the living room, picking up the book and placing it on the coffee table. She walked into the twin's room. Hailey was holding onto Justin tightly, her little fingers gripping her brother's pyjamas as his arms were on her back.

''What's going on in here?''

"Momma!" Both of the kids cried out and their hands instantly shot towards her direction. She sat down on the bed, hugging them. ''What's going on?''

"You don't love us anymore." Justin said sadly as he cried against her shoulder. Addison sighed and softened her voice. ''You know that isn't true Justin.''

Hailey shook her head. "You didn't even want to kiss me!"

''I was reading for school.''

Justin gripped her shoulder. "But we needed a momma kiss."

''Then come here.''

Justin pouted his lips together as he closed his eyes, moving closer to Addison. Addison lay down on the bed, pulling them to her. Hailey cried into her chest as Justin pecked Addison's lips.

''Baby don't cry.''

She shook her head again lightly.

''Why are you crying?'' She stroked the girl's hair.

"I thought you weren't coming." She whispered and looked up to her.

''Mommy can't always come.''

She shook her head again powerfully this time. "But..."

Addison sighed. She now realized she was taking this all out on the two she loved the most. ''Mommy loves you babies.''

"I loves you too mommy." Justin replied only a moment later and held her tightly while Hailey mumbled back the same words. Addison hugged them close. ''Do you know what tomorrow is?''

Hailey shook her head a bit. "Nuh uh..."

''You don't?''

Hailey shook her head again.

"It's my birthday." Justin announced proudly. Justin made a little smile while Hailey processed the information.

''It's your birthday too honey.'' She whispered to her daughter.

"OH!" Hailey gave a bright smile. "I knew that." Lie.

''Yeah.'' Addison kissed the top of her daughter's head. Hailey buried her head into the crook of Addison's neck as she smiled.

''Three years.''

Hailey nodded. "Yeah, we're gonna be three."

''You are.''

Justin laid his head on her shoulder again. "Will we do something fun together?"

''You're having a birthday party.''

"Oh!" Justin grinned widely. "Yay!"

''Do you like that honey?''

"YA!" He answered excitedly.

''And we could do something else you like, maybe swimming or go to the zoo, anything you want.''

"ZOO!" Hailey replied, excitement evident on her face.

''You want to go to the zoo honey?''

Justin nodded his head quickly. "I like lions."

''So you would both like to go to the zoo?''

"YES!" The twins replied in union.

''Then we're going to the zoo tomorrow.'' Addison smiled at the two, placing a kiss on each head.

"Yay!" Hailey hugged her mother tightly and pressed a kiss on her cheek. "Love you mommyyyy."

''I love you too baby girl.''

"I loves mommy tooo" Justin mumbled.

''And mommy loves you too.''

The both kids held onto their mother as the tears dried.

''Everything okay now?''

They both nodded their little heads. "Yes."

''Good.'' She placed another kiss on their foreheads. Justin smiled and so did his sister. Their smiles were almost identical. Addison smiled at them. Hailey placed her head to rest on Addison's chest. Addison stoked her hair. Justin cuddled closer to his mother, an arm wrapping around her middle. Her other hand stroked her son's back. A few moments Hailey's heart beat calmed down and she started feeling light.

''I love you babies.'' Addison whispered.

"I love you too mommy." Justin replied in a whisper before he fell asleep as well. She stayed with them for about ten more minutes, just holding them. They both slept peacefully, their little fingers holding onto Addison. After a while Addison went to sit up, carefully lying them in the bed before getting out of it. She took one more look at them, placing a kiss on her fingertip, softly pressing her finger on Hailey's lips and then on Justin's.

''Sweet dreams my angels.'' She whispered, tucking them in safely. She slowly walked out of the room, looking at them once more before closing the door after her. She quietly went downstairs. She walked into the living room. She picked up her anatomy book that was on the coffee table, ignoring her husband. Derek looked up to her for a moment and then carried on reading a book of his while rubbing his forehead. She sat down on the other couch, opening her book.

He took another look at her. "The kids asleep?" He asked, talking as little as possible.

''Yes.''

He nodded and kept reading his book. She never looked up. He flipped the page as he bit on the insides of his cheeks. She kept on reading. He didn't dare to look at her so he kept his eyes on the book. After a few minutes she got up, lying her book on the couch. He looked at her, almost asking where she was going. She walked out of the living room. Derek wondered what the fuck was happening and got up as well, walking out of the room a moment or two later. Addison walked into the garage.

He followed her. "What are you doing?" He asked.

''Nothing.'' She picked up a big carton box, her voice and body language seemed calm, but she was ready to kick and scream. She could not do this for much longer, she hated Derek's overprotectiveness, she hated how he wanted to play happy family now, when a year ago, he couldn't even be home for more than an hour a day, if he even went home before it was dark. Back then she was the one who took care of their children, she was the one who was yelling and he was the one who ignored her.

"You're not supposed to be carrying anything heavy." He told her. She ignored his comment and walked past him.

"Addison." He warned her, looking after her.

''What?''

"You shouldn't carry anything heavy." He repeated.

''Shut up.'' She mumbled and walked into the living room.

"Fuck you." He followed her just to take his book with him.

''Shut up!'' She yelled.

"No, you shut up!" He yelled back at her and took his book from the couch. She shook her head. ''Just ignore me again, it's what you all do best.''

"What the hell do you mean Addison?" He asked, crossing his arms. "Who is all? And how have I ignored you now?!"

She got out party flags from the box. Derek looked at her. "Addison, talk to me."

She went to stand on the coffee table.

"Would you just fucking tell what I did wrong _again_ ?"

''Stop swearing at me.''

"Okay, sure. Would you please tell me what I did wrong now?"

''Why don't you ask your parents?''

"Addison what do you mean by that?"

''Oh like you didn't notice.'' She jumped off the table and walked to the other side of the room.

"Didn't notice what?" He asked as he looked at her, confusion evident in his voice.

''What your parents were doing.'' She got on the overstuffed leather chair.

"Oh..." He thought about it for a moment, what the hell did they do? Then it hit him. "Because they didn't talk to you as much as normally? You're mad at me for that?"

''You mean completely ignore me.''

"Addison, they noticed something I already have noticed." He crossed his arms as he looked at her.

''Excuse me?''

"You're so thin… you're _too_ thin, especially for being three months pregnant. You should be showing already, but instead, you keep getting thinner."

''So?'' She finished hanging up the flags, starting to hang up another row of them.

He looked frustrated, and angry. "If you keep doing this, I'm going. If you keep losing weight you'll get sicker and sicker, you're killing our baby and eventually you're going to kill yourself with this. There are people who could help you with this." His arms were crossed.

''I don't need help.'' Again she walked to the other side of the room.

"You do, you're sick, you're anorectic." He told her seriously.

''I'm not sick.''

"You are, you don't realise that yourself."

''I'm not.''

"Everyone else knows that but you." He said.

''Oh sure.'' She finished hanging up the party flags so now there were a few rows hanging criss-cross in the room.

"My mother talked to me months ago, she told me about it before I told you about what happened before Nicole. Since then, it's all been downhill with your weight."

''I lost weight, my weight isn't going 'downhill'.''

"It is, you're still starving yourself."

''Since when is my weight any of your business?''

"Since I married you." Was his reply. "And I'm worried about you, hell I'm concerned about you."

''Don't be.'' She walked into the garage again.

"I am, you can't change that, certainly not with the way you're acting, still losing weight." He spoke as he followed.

''Whatever.''

"No, it's not whatever. This is a serious topic."

''No it's not.'' She walked to where they had hid the presents.

"Yes it is Addison." He took the bigger present from the floor as he watched her.

''No it's not.'' She picked up two others.

"Yes it is, you're anorectic, and if you don't realise that soon and get help I'm going to lose my mind." And you'll be losing a husband.

''And that's my fault how?''

"Because you're the source of all that." He replied honestly.

''No I'm not, it's not my fault you're acting like this.''

"Acting like this? My god Addison I'm acting like this because I can't even hug you and not be afraid I might hurt you. You're scarily thin, that's your problem which makes it my problem."

''I'm not! I'm not thin.''

"You are! You were told you're underweight two months ago and you've still lost weight, not caring about that."

''I don't care.''

"Oh I've sure noticed, you're killing our child with this."

''I AM NOT!'' She suddenly raised her voice and looked at her husband angrily, this seemed to trigger her.

"Oh please Addison when you starve yourself you're starving our baby! You don't have to be a doctor to know that!"

''The baby is fine.''

"You haven't felt sick for weeks, you can't know that." He told her.

''Neither can you.'' She got the other presents from the garage as well.

Derek helped her with these. "Oh I can, you don't even know how thin you are, if you did you wouldn't be doing this. You can't even go through a day without taking a nap anymore and you don't eat."

''Which isn't any of your business.''

"So what the hell am I doing as your husband then?" He gave her a look. "If nothing having to do with you is none of my business this marriage won't work. And I think your health has hell of a lot to do with me."

''Sure.'' She put all the presents near to the fireplace, that wasn't on.

"Addison please don't be like this, just try eating more." He told her as he placed the huge box next to the other presents.

''No.''

"And why not?"

''Because I don't want to.''

"Why don't you want to do that? Don't you want to live a longer healthier life? Because with this... you're not going to get that."

''Oh please.''

"No, Addison you need to stop this."

''No I do not.''

"You're killing our baby if you don't eat."

''Do not accuse me of that.''

"I sure hope I never have to."

"Look Addison, I'm not saying this to hurt you."

''Yes you are.''

"No, I want you to get some help for this, I need you to understand what this is doing to you."

''I don't need help!''

"You do need help with this!"

''I don't!''

"Yes you do! Damn it, it hurts me to say this Addison! You need help! I can't help you with this and you won't even accept my help!"

''Because I don't want it!''

"But you need help! I don't care where the fuck you get the help from!"

''I DON'T WANT TO!''

"YOU NEED HELP ADDISON!"

''No.''

"You're destroying your life with this."

''No I'm not.''

"Yes you are, I'm not going to stand here and watch you starve. I won't allow that to happen." He told her in a calm voice though he was everything else but calm.

''I'm going to bed.''

He looked at her, this was not happening. "No, you're not going to bed. You won't go to sleep during a fight."

''I am.''

"You're not."

''Watch me.'' She walked out of the room.

"Addison Shepherd!" He yelled as he followed her with quick steps.

''The kids are asleep!'' She hissed.

"I don't care, we're going to work this out right now!" He hissed back through gritted teeth.

''No.'' She walked up the stairs.

"Oh for fuck's sake Addison stop acting like a bitch." He told her, walking into the living room. She walked into the bedroom. He walked to the couch and picked up his book as he fought back the urge to throw it across the room. She undressed herself. He lay down on the couch, onto his back and simply stared at the ceiling. She pulled on her pyjamas and got into bed. The couch was cold, the bed was cold. Derek rolled onto his side and picked up his book again. She got under the covers and sighed. Derek shook his head as he read, not fully understanding the text though. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep. Derek allowed a sigh to escape his lips before placing down the book. She looked up at the ceiling. He couldn't sleep, he simply couldn't close his eyes. She couldn't either.


	44. Wonderwall

**Love, Pain And The Whole Crazy Thing**

_Chapter 44 - Wonderwall_

The following morning Derek was still on the couch, but he wasn't sleeping. He hadn't slept more than two hours that night. Addison hadn't slept much either. She had already gotten up, done her make up and put on a dress. He was wearing the same clothes since he hadn't even been upstairs, he looked at the big clock on the wall which read 8.01 am. It was time to get up, he slowly pushed himself up on the couch and winced slightly at the pain in his back. Addison left her bedroom and walked to the twins' bedroom. He pushed himself up from the couch and mumbled something about uncomfortable couches. He ran a hand through his messy hair. She looked at the two who were sleeping. Slowly she walked over to them, kneeling in front of the bed. ''Wake up birthday babies.'' She whispered. Hailey screwed up her nose and shifted slightly while Justin's eyes stirred a bit. "Hmmm." He mumbled against the pillow.

''Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.'' She whispered smiling, stroking their hair.

"Thank you mommy." Hailey smiled against the pillow as she started to wake up while Justin rolled onto his back and wiped at his eyes. His eyes widened. "HAILS! WE'RE THREE!"

''Us are!'' She cheered.

"YAY!" He hugged her sister quickly.

''Happy birthday you two.'' Addison hugged them both.

"Thank you momma!" Justin smiled cheerily and so did his twin who was hugging Addison tightly.

''You're welcome Jussie and Bug.''

"Buggie is three momma!" Justin said with another bright smile.

''And you are too Jussie!''

"Yeah!" He grinned rather proudly, it was that proud grin he had inherited from his father. Their mother hugged them closely.

"Where's daddy?" Hailey asked after a minute.

''Downstairs I think.''

"Oh... doesn't he want to say happy birthday too?" Justin asked.

''He will honey.''

"Okay then." Justin smiled.

''Are you happy it's your birthday?''

"Yes!" Both of them answered the question with huge smiles on their faces.

''That's good babies, let's go downstairs.''

"Okay!" Justin got up a bit while Hailey got off of the bed.

''You want to get dressed already?''

"Yeah and then go look at the zebras!" Justin said excitedly and got off of the bed as well.

''Okay.'' She chuckled and got up. Justin walked towards the closet with a bit unsteady steps, trying to open it. "Mommaaa."

''Honey wait till mommy opens it.'' She opened the closet. ''What do you want to wear birthday boy?''

"A tux!" He replied with a grin on his face as he looked into the closet. "Daddy has one too!" Actually, Derek had three tuxedos.

''Honey, you don't have a tux.''

"But I want one!" He crossed his arms and pouted.

''What about your little board shorts?''

He thought about it for a moment. "Okay then."

''And a nice t-shirt with your Vans?''

He nodded his head quickly. "The t-shirt with a whale in the front side..?"

''You want to wear that one?''

He nodded quickly. "Yeah."

''Okay.'' She searched for it. He smiled widely at this while Hailey tugged at Addison's pants. "I want clothes too! A dress!"

''What dress do you want baby?''

"A yellow one!" Hailey looked at her mother with a big smile on her face.

''You have the yellow one, do you want to wear that?''

She nodded multiple times and hugged her leg. "I want that one."

''Okay.'' She got out the dress, then Justin's clothes. Justin took his clothes and began removing his pyjamas.

''Do you want to dress yourself?''

"Yeah!" He said proudly as he stripped down to his undies.

''Do you need a new diaper?''

He shook his head. "Nuhuh."

''No?''

"Nope." He shook his head again.

''What about you Hails?''

She slowly nodded her head. "Yeah..."

''Mommy wants you two to try something today.''

"Try what?" They both asked, looking at her.

''Try to go today without a diaper.''

Hailey looked at her with her eyes wide open. "Why? How?"

''Because you're already three now and when you have to go to the bathroom you can call mommy and I'll get the potty. Okay?''

"Oh... I guess we can try..." Hailey bit on her lip slightly. "But what if I don't know when I need a potty?"

''Then that's okay, it's okay if a little accident happens baby.''

She slowly nodded at her mother. "Okay..."

''Do you want to try that?'' She stroked her daughter's messy curls behind her ear. ''Or do you want to keep your diaper for a little while and potty train more?''

"I don't want an accident to happen..." She mumbled shyly.

''Then we're going to practice it a little more first. Okay?''

"Okay." Hailey nodded and bit on her lip. "Sorry mommy..."

''No baby that's okay.'' Addison hugged her daughter. ''What about you Jussie?''

"I could do that." He said proudly as he put on his whale t-shirt.

''You sure?''

He nodded his head. "Yeah!"

''So you don't want a diaper?''

"Nope." He grinned and put on his little shorts.

''Honey you need clean underwear first.''

He pouted and pushed them down, crossing his arms. She opened the closet drawer and got out clean underwear. Justin pushed down his underwear and looked at his mother. She helped him putting his clean underwear on. Now for the second time Justin pulled on the shorts.

''Good boy.'' She tied the laces. He was smiling widely and while they did this Hailey had stripped in her underwear.

''Bug, your turn.''

She gave her mother a smile and nodded. Addison picked her up and laid her down on the changing table. Hailey looked at her brother who was on the floor, playing with a bunny of hers. Her mother started changing her diaper. She took off the dirty one and threw it into the trashcan. She put on a new one and then pulled her daughter's underwear on. Then she dressed her in the yellow dress, making her smile widely. "Thank you mommy!" She said cheerily.

''No problem birthday girl.'' She smiled. She laughed softly as Addison picked her up and she was placed on the floor.

''Now let's go brush your teeth.''

They returned from the zoo later that day, not an hour later the doorbell rang and two pairs of little feet ran towards the door, yelling at each other excitedly.

"I'm gonna open it!"

"No you won't! I WILL!"

"Nuhuh!"

A loud thumb was heard and Justin was laying on the floor on his stomach. His eyes welled up with tears while Hailey opened the door.

''Hailey and Justin!'' Addison yelled.

"It's nana and pa!" Hailey yelled excitedly, wrapping her arms around Theresa's legs while Justin sniffed and got up.

''Hailey you do not open the door without my permission anymore, understood?!'' She said angry, picking Justin up. Hailey looked at her mother, scared while Theresa picked her up, giving Addison a look. "Addie you know it was just us. Besides she could see us through the glass part of the door." She defended the little girl.

''She didn't have to push her brother to the floor for that.'' Addison hugged her son.

"I'm sure Hailey didn't do that on purpose Addison." Theresa said as she placed a kiss on Hailey's forehead and Justin shook his head.

"My knee is ouch."

''Let's take a look at it in the kitchen honey.''

Justin slowly nodded and bit on his lip while Theresa and Gabriel stepped into the house. Addison walked into the kitchen with Justin and set him down on the kitchen table. Justin's knee was red but it didn't have a cut, it wouldn't probably even bruise. He pouted his lips.

''It's just a little red. Does it hurt honey?''

He nodded. "Can I have a dino band-aid on it?" He asked quietly as his tears stopped falling slowly.

''Of course.'' She placed a little kiss on his knee before standing up straight. Justin smiled a bit and looked at his mother. "Thank you mommy."

''No problem baby boy.'' She placed a dinosaur band-aid on his knee. He smiled widely this time. "Another kissykiss on the band-aid? It is still hurting..."

''Aw.'' She placed three kisses on it.

He held out his arms in order to get a hug. "Huggie."

She smiled at him, giving him a tight hug. He hugged her mother back tightly. "Buggie didn't push me... I fell over cause of the stupid carpet." He whispered.

''You did?'' Addison pulled back. He nodded a bit, looking at his little feet.

''Why did you say it was Bug then?''

"Because... I fell and you could have yelled and told me we can't run..." He mumbled.

''I think you should apologize to Bug.''

He nodded slowly, regretting. "Yeah..."

She picked him up from the table. He wrapped his arms around her neck softly. She carried him into the living room. Hailey was sitting on Gabriel's lap now, then they saw Justin and Addison walk into the room. Hailey crossed her arms.

''Bug, Jussie has something to say to you.''

Hailey looked at her twin, trying to stay serious though Justin was the one person who always made her smile. Justin walked over to her, his bottom lip pouting out. A little smile tugged at her lips already though she was pissed at him. He climbed onto the couch and wrapped his arms around his twin sister. She still had her arms crossed before she giggled, her arms going around her twin.

''Sorry Buggie!''

"It's okay Jus!" She hugged him tightly. He giggled. Gabriel smiled at them, they really had a great relationship.

''Do you want some cake?'' Addison asked without looking at her parents-in-law.

"I would love some, thank you Addison." Gabriel said as Theresa kept talking to her son.

''Theresa?''

"Yes?" She asked, looking at Addison for a moment.

''Do you want cake?''

"Yes, thank you." Her voice was colder than her husband's. She walked into the kitchen. Derek looked at Justin's knee. "Sweetie, is your knee still hurting?"

''A little.''

"Aw that's not good." He said sadly as he watched him.

''I fell over carpet!''

"Aw sweetie, maybe you could show me where you fell and daddy can see if he can do something about it?"

''Over the carpet.''

Derek gave him a smile. "I'll look at it buddy."

''But I won't run.''

"Aw." He smiled at him and picked him up, sitting the little boy on his lap. He smiled and sat against him.

Derek looked at the dino picture on the band-aid. "Wow don't you have a cool band-aid!"

''A dino!'' He said proudly as Addison walked back into the room. Derek placed a kiss on his son's hair and slowly looked up to his wife. She put down the cake and coffee. Gabriel took his cup while he shifted Hailey to sit on his other thigh only. Addison sat down on a chair. Theresa took the plate and then took a little piece of cake and ate it slowly. "This is good, did you make it?"

''Yes.''

Gabriel tasted the cake as well. "This is really good Addison."

''Thanks.''

Derek watched them interact while he placed another soft kiss on Justin's hair. Addison didn't look at them. Derek sighed slightly and watched his daughter, who was playing with the button of Gabriel's shirt, begging for a piece of cake. Addison got up from the couch. All the others looked up. She walked into the kitchen, ignoring their looks.

''She looks awful.'' Theresa commented as she was out of the room. Derek looked down. "Babies, why won't you go and play for a while when the grown-ups have coffee?" Derek suggested and lifted Justin off of his lap. They nodded and went to play. Derek looked at his mother. "Try to keep it down when the kids are around."

''She does look awful.''

"I know she does." He replied and leaned back in his chair. Theresa looked at her son. He looked down at the floor. She shook her head. Derek rubbed his face tiredly before yawning.

''She used to be so beautiful.''

"I know." He once again said and shook his head.

''Do you think she looks good now?''

He shook his head. "No, she was attractive months ago."

''Do you find her attractive now?''

"No." He didn't look at his mother.

''You don't find your wife attractive?''

"Not now, not like this, no." He shook his head.

"Her weight is the problem, the fact that I can't... touch her without thinking she'd get hurt."

''Are you still intimate with her?''

"Yes, we're still intimate." He told her, shifting on his seat uncomfortably.

''As much as before?''

"Do you really want to know?" He raised his eyebrows.

''I'm asking aren't I?''

"Yes, we're still intimate, very intimate actually."

"I love her mom." Derek said while his father just listened to the conversation.

''I never said you didn't.''

"I know that." He nodded his head and looked down. Theresa sighed and Addison walked back into the room with cake. ''Where is Hailey?''

"She's playing with Justin." Gabriel told her.

''Where?''

"In the playing room." Derek told his wife.

''Buggie baby.'' Addison called. Soon Hailey was at the door, a wide smile on her face. "Yes mommy?"

''I have some cake for you.'' Addison smiled back at her daughter.

"Yay!" Hailey yelped and ran towards her mother.

''Come sit down with me.''

After Addison sat down Hailey jumped on her lap, making Derek look scared just for a bit. Addison hugged her and gave her the cake. Hailey poked it with a fork at first.

''Want me to cut it into smaller parts?''

She nodded her head a few times. "Yes, please."

Addison took the fork from her. Hailey watched her mother doing this and soon it was cut in little pieces. "Thank you momma!" Hailey took the fork from her.

''No problem baby.''

The little girl started eating as she leaned against Addison. Addison watched her.

She was humming as she ate slowly. Addison tried to ignore her in-laws. Derek was looking at the walls silently as his parents ate and drank. Soon the bell rang.

Derek looked up for a moment and then looked at the clock. "Addison, why won't you go open it?" He suggested. She raised her eyebrows and got up, taking her daughter with her. She soon reached the door and opened it, revealing three young women she hadn't seen in years.

"Addie!" They all were smiling.

''Oh my god!''

"Oh my god!" The women smiled widely, repeating what she had just said.

''What are you all doing here?!''

"Your husband made us come!" Brittany, a blonde one, hugged her friend tightly as Hailey looked at them in a weird way.

''I missed you all so much.'' She hugged her back.

"We missed you too!" A dark haired woman called Alicia hugged her now. She all hugged them back tightly.

"Oh and is this the mini-Addie?" Brittany looked down at Hailey who was hiding behind Addison's leg.

''This is my daughter Hailey.'' She chuckled and picked her daughter up.

Hailey looked rather shy but waved and made all the women go 'aw'.

''Say hi to mommy's friends baby.''

"Hi mommy's friends..." She mumbled as she hid her face against Addison's neck. Addison chuckled softly and held her daughter close.

"Aw she's such a cutiepie." The third woman, Anna, said softly as she watched mother and daughter. Addison placed a kiss on Hailey's cheek. ''Why don't you all come in?''

The three women walked into the house and looked around, removing their jackets. "So this is where you moved huh?" Alicia looked around the hall, not having seen Addison personally in almost three years, moving just after she gave birth to the twins.

''Yep.''

"This looks nice, really nice."

''Thank you.'' She smiled.

"No problem, I wouldn't mind if Joe bought me a house like this." Brittany mumbled with a grin on her face.

''Shut up, your house is great.''

She laughed. "Shut up Addie, this house is better, and bigger and expensive." They walked further into the room.

They walked into the living room. Derek smiled at the women. "Hey Brit, Al, Anna." He said as he watched Hailey running towards him for safety.

''Hey!'' They all smiled at him. Derek placed Justin on the floor and walked towards the women but soon Hailey grabbed his leg.

''Aw Bug is a little scared.'' Addison smiled. Derek brushed Hailey's hair softly and kissed the top of her head. "It's okay honey, they're just mommy's friends."

"Why are you calling her a bug?" Alicia asked with a laugh.

''Oh it's her nickname.'' Addison chuckled.

The three women laughed softly before Derek managed to free his leg and Hailey ran to her grandparents. Derek walked to the women and first hugged Brittany and gave her a little kiss on the cheek. "Nice to see you again."

''Indeed Shepherd, certainly since you stole our girl.''

"Not my fault she stole my heart and wrapped me around her little finger." He hugged another woman.

''You moved her away from us!''

Derek rolled his eyes and hugged Alicia. Alicia laughed at this. Derek smiled brightly at them. "I'm glad you all could come, and hadn't changed your names." He saw Justin walking closer to them.

''Oh my god! He's the cutest thing ever!'' Anna smiled widely. Derek laughed and picked up his son, placing him on his hip. "Jussie, say hi to mommy's friends." He brushed the boy's red hair.

"Hi." He smiled widely, showing all his teeth.

''Aw!''

"I'm Justin." He said proudly and then looked at his father who nodded.

''Hi Justin, I'm Alicia.''

Justin held out his hand like he had been told to do. She smiled widely and shook his hand.

"Daddy which one was Brit?" Justin whispered but everyone could hear it. Derek laughed and whispered back something about blonde hair.

''Hey darling, I'm Brittany.''

"I'm not darling! I'm Jussie!" He giggled at the woman. She laughed loudly and smiled at him. ''You are a real cutie.''

He grinned proudly and nodded his head. "Thanks."

She smiled widely at the boy.

"You're cute." Justin looked at Brittany.

''Oh my gosh! Thank you!''

Derek laughed at his son, Justin was just way too charming, he sure was gonna have some ladies later.

''Hey that's enough.'' Addison laughed and gave Derek a look "I remember you telling me that Mark being godfather was going to turn out just fine…". Derek couldn't help but laugh. Justin asked innocently, tilting his head to the side.

Derek gave a little smile and walked to the couch, Hailey instantly crawling on his lap. Justin looked at his mother. She gave him a kiss. Justin smiled a bit and gave her a kiss back. "I love you mommy."

"Aw." The women tilted their heads to the side.

''I love you too Jussie.''

The women smiled widely. "I want cake." Justin told his mother, tugging at her shirt slightly.

''You do? Do you girls also want some cake?''

"Oh god yes, that's the only reason we came here." Anna rolled her eyes and grinned after it.

''Sure.'' Addison laughed.

"Need any help?" Alicia offered as the other women sat down.

''Sure.''

Alicia followed her into the kitchen. Addison got the cake. Alicia came back a few moments later with two cups of coffee. "I'm gonna bring a few more, who wants coffee?"

"I'll take a cup please." Derek spoke and Alicia nodded.

''Me too.'' Anna responded.

''Me too!'' Hailey said excitedly. Derek laughed softly and shook his head. "No sweetie, you can't have coffee, you'll go a little bit nuts if you take some."

''Why?'' She asked innocently.

"It has caffeine and it'll make you all cheery but because you're already a bit crazy little bug you'll go nuts." He kissed her black curls.

''That's weird! I want milk then!''

He laughed. "Great choice honey." He tapped her little stomach.

"Ads? You want some?" Alicia walked towards the kitchen again.

''Come here.'' Addison told her friend.

"Hmm?" Alicia walked back to her.

''I can't have coffee.''

"Why not? That's weir... oh my god! You knocked her up again?!" She looked at Derek.

"Wow this is... wow." Alicia looked at her and Brittany wrapped her arms around Addison.

"Congrats!" She pressed a kiss on Addison's hair.

''Thank you.'' Addison chuckled.

"I'm so happy for you guys!" Anna now hugged her friend.

''Thanks sweetie.''

Derek was smiling a bit as he watched the women interact. Addison smiled at them. Alicia hugged her friend softly. "So no coffee for you then."

''Nope.''

"I'll be right back." She walked into the kitchen.

A few hours later the room was filled with several guests and the birthday twins were happily playing with the other children. Derek was still sitting on the couch, though now he was chatting with Mark, telling him about the trip. Addison was standing at a table with her friends, now two others joined. Brittany had an arm around Addison's shoulders as she listened to her friend while Milla looked slightly jealous.

Addison walked into the crowded room and moved towards her husband. Derek looked up at her and gave her a little smile and Mark grinned.

''Hey ehm... me and Brit are going to make some food for the kids.''

"Okay good, I bet they're hungry already... and liked the surprise?" He asked with a yet another small smile.

''Definitely.'' She still wasn't on good terms with him, at least not from her side. ''Thanks for that.''

"Yeah, it was nothing." He looked away now, towards Mark.

She cleared her throat and awkwardly walked away from them. Derek simply sighed as he watched her walk away and into the kitchen.

Brittany was already waiting for Addison in the big kitchen, leaning against the island, looking at her friend.

''What? Why are you looking at me like that?''

"Nothing, just wondering if you're okay?"

''Why wouldn't I be?''

"You're being weird..." She shrugged slightly.

''How?''

"I don't know, all awkward with Derek."

''Yeah well...''

"Is everything okay between you?" She asked softly.

''No.''

"Aw honey, what is it?"

''A lot.''

"I'm so sorry baby."

''It's okay.'' Addison replied dismissively turning on the oven while she moved around the kitchen.

"Can I ask you about it or do you not want to talk?"

''What do you want to know?''

"Well of course I want to know what happened between you two darling."

Addison sighed in reply, did she have to? Couldn't there just be one day to pretend?

"Addison, I can't help you if you won't tell me." She looked at her friend with a sad expression.

''You can't.'' Addison looked up at her for the first time. ''No one can.''

"I'm sure there's some people who can help. I'm sorry sweetie..." She shook her head. "What are your problems then?"

''Me. Apparently I'm the problem.''

"What's wrong with you then? You're perfect honey." She gave a little smile. Addison shook her head.

"What did you do then that was so horrible?" She asked quietly. Addison looked at her friend for a few seconds. ''I have anorexia.''

A lump started forming in Brittany's throat as she looked at her. "Are you... serious?" Silence overcame them. Addison didn't know what to say, she was ashamed, and Brittany was quite shocked, not sure what the right response to this would be. She noticed how thin Addison had gotten, but she hadn't seen her in so long, she didn't figure she was sick. "I'm sorry darling... have you gotten any help for this?"

''No and I don't want it.''

"Why don't you want that? You can feel better, you can be cured."

''I don't want it to be cured.''

She was shocked for a while before nodding and sighing. "Oh..."

Addison sighed and ran her fingers through this hair, she hated the way Brittany was looking at her in that moment. Like she didn't understand. Nobody understands.

"Why don't you? It could end up really, really bad..."

''I don't care.''

"Yes you do, you're Addison, you care."

''No, I don't.''

"Addison..." She shook her head. "Addison why do you want to continue this?" She looked at her.

Addison just shrugged. Brittany gave her hand a little squeeze. She sighed.

"I'm sorry about this honey." She told her softly.

''You don't have to be sorry Britt, I'm fine.''

Brittany sighed a bit and looked at her, she couldn't help but look at her, she could see the change in her weight, her face had changed, and so had her body.

''Please don't look at me like that.''

"Like what?" She looked away.

''Like... that.''

"Sorry..." She mumbled. Addison sighed. ''I don't want you to treat me like that as well.''

"I don't know what to say Addison, I never thought you'd end up doing this to yourself. But I can't affect your decisions." She shook her head slightly.

''I'm still me.'' Addison dismissed the play of words Brittany used. Addison knew everyone thought this was her decision. That she woke up one day and decided to not eat anymore, decided to hate herself, decided to manipulate and hurt everyone around her. The only thing Addison did decide was that letting everyone think it was her decision to be anorectic sounded better than knowing that everyone knew she was losing complete control over everything. Control over when she ate, control over her body, her own thoughts, the things she said, the behaviour she showed, every bit of control was slipping out of her hands.

"Yeah..." She slowly nodded. "I guess you're right, you're still you."

''Yeah.''

"Sorry for... looking at you like that." She gave her friend a sad smile.

''This is all the stuff we need.'' Addison turned to the baking goods as both women started to bake in silence.

Brittany looked up as her phone indicated she received a text message, she scrolled through the message and smiled to herself, looking at her friend as she smiled and said her boyfriend send her a message.

''You're lucky Brit.'' Addison smiled. "I'm really glad you found someone."

"Yeah?" She smiled softly. "I really want kids though."

''Yeah?'' Addison smiled at her.

"Yeah, a little pink girl." She smiled.

''Wait a little Brit.'' Addison gave her friend the advice she should've gotten.

"But why?" She asked as she looked at her.

''You're young.''

"You were younger when you got the twins."

''They weren't planned.''

"I want a baby." She told her friend.

''Brit...''

She looked at her. "Addie..."

''Take this from a mother of two, wait.''

She sighed at this, shaking her head. "You really think that's the best?"

''I do, it's hard, really hard, you have enough time to be a mother.''

She nodded slowly. "Okay..."

''And I think if you're a little older, you'd be able to appreciate it more.''

"Yeah... I hope so." She took her friends hand and watched cakes rising in the oven.

''How long are you staying here?''

"I don't know yet, for a few days to a week I guess."

''With me?''

"Derek said on the phone that you have a guestroom, but I can go to a hotel."

''I'd even let you sleep in my bed.''

"I bet Derek would mind that one." She nudged her friend a bit.

''Derek wouldn't even notice.'' Addison said, not amused.

"Oh I bet it's not the truth." She wrapped an arm around her.

''He's sleeping on the couch.''

She looked shocked. "Aw honey."

''Yeah...''

Brittany hugged her friend. "I'm sorry."

''Yeah... me too.''

She brushed Addison's side. "Why is he on the couch now?"

''Because he doesn't want to sleep next to me.''

"He's a fool." She told her simply and gave her yet another hug. Addison hugged her close.

''Brit?''

"Yeah?" She turned to look at her.

''I love you.''

"I love you too Adds." She replied.

''I'm really glad you're here.''

"Wouldn't want to be anywhere else honey." She told her softly.

''Hmm good.''

"I really missed you Addie."

''I missed you too honey.''

Addison chuckled. ''I miss our old times.''

"That was fun, we could just simply go out and do something fun." She smiled.

''We could have a girl's day tomorrow?''

"You're a genius Addison."

''Hmm I know.'' Addison grinned. She laughed and softly hit her shoulder. "I'd love to spend a girl's day."

''Me too.'' She smiled.

"Please tell me a spa is included." She smiled brightly.

''Oooh yes.''

"I love you even more." She kissed Addison's cheek.

''You too Brit.''

She smiled again and then looked at the road. "I feel like karaoke."

''Seriously?''

"Seriously." She replied. "Can you remember the one time when we were at the bar and there was the karaoke competition thingy and you entered it and ended up slurring out something in Spanish cause me and Anna had changed the song on the song list?" She grinned almost evilly.

''You're such a bitch you know.'' Addison rolled her eyes.

"Sorry." She rolled her eyes as well. "But I'm your bitch."

''You are. Addison's bitch.''

She laughed at this and nodded. "Sure."

''Remember when in high school, the one time you all did convince me to skip school and go shopping we got caught by your brother who made us do his homework for the next couple of weeks so he wouldn't tell our parents?''

"You were such a good girl" Brittney replied laughing. "Remember when we first drank tequila? We were so drunk that we ended up measuring each other's legs."

''Mine were so longest.''

"Shut up, not my fault you're a freak of nature, mine are normal unlike yours that go on for miles." She poked out her tongue, god she wanted those legs.

''Yeah, thank god Derek is tall though.''

"Yeah, it's great that he's tall. Joe is pretty tall too, maybe a little bit too tall though."

''Yeah?''

"Yeah, I have to raise on my toes in order to kiss him."

''That's cute.''

"Yeah but if you're wearing heels, it's so not comfortable."

''So... you and Joe still going strong?''

"Yeah, still going strong, he's my everything."

Addison smiled.

"Yeah..." She smiled as well and looked at her friend.

''What about in the bedroom?'' She grinned.

"Addison!" She slapped her shoulder slightly before laughing.

''Whaaat?'' Addison laughed as she hopped up onto the counter.

She rolled her eyes before answering. "He's great in bed."

''Yeah?''

"Totally." She couldn't help but smirk.

''Hmm we should continue this talk tomorrow, we have so much to talk about.''

"Oh yes, but in that case, I need to know about Derek too."

''Hmm you will.''

"The reason I love you." She pecked her friend's cheek. "Hmmm how good is he?" Brittany would be lying if she didn't wonder, it wasn't a secret they all had a little crush on Derek, not that they'd ever tell him.

''Mind blowing.''

She grinned widely. "Oh really? Mind blowingly good in bed? I can believe that though... with those muscles and the looks and then loving and caring and all that... god I'd do him too." She mumbled more to herself.

''BRITTANY!''

She couldn't help but grin.

''Don't think about my husband like that!''

She rolled her eyes. "Addie, kidding, geez, calm down woman."

''Besides, you should know his size.''

"Hmhmm?" Brittany looked at her interested.

''So not telling you.''

"Oh come on Addisonnn." She pouted slightly.

''Nope.''

"If I say pleaseee?"

''He's big, that's all you need to know.''

She couldn't help but grin. "God I'd kill to be you."

''Joe's not?''

"He is! Oh trust me he is." She smirked as she looked at Addison.

''Why'd you kill to be me then huh?''

"Because you got the legs and the guy every woman is drooling after."

''So not.''

"I know a few who do." She replied casually.

''Like?''

"Anna, Mindy, me, Charlotte..." She mumbled. "He's hot, but I have my own man so don't worry."

"Well it's not like there's anything left of our sex life.''

"How come?" She took Addison's hand in hers.

"He just doesn't want to have sex with me I guess.''

"I'm sorry sweetheart." She gave her hand a little squeeze. "Why?"

''I don't know.'' She sighed. ''I just want everything to be okay and for my husband to finally do me.''

"Sorry if you've already tried this but... talk to him about it?" She suggested.

''We just end up fighting each time.''

"Well... why do you start fighting?"

''We just do.''

"That's really bad..."

''I know.''

"Well I really, really hope that you work it out."

''Yeah... me too...''

"I'm there for you okay?" She looked at her friend.

''I just want some sex.''

"C'mon, how many times did he do you this week?"

''Once last week.''

"Once?! Woman how do you cope with that?!"

''I don't.'' She groaned. ''And there are weeks when we hardly do it at all.''

"I feel so sorry for you." She really, really meant it. "Have you tried something new with him? That could work."

''Like what?''

"I don't know, naughty outfits? Role playing?" She shrugged.

''Oh god no.''

"Hey I'm just suggesting something, new positions? New places?"

''You know that last is illegal right?''

"Not if you don't get caught." She laughed softly and looked at her. "Well... you should just talk to him, about sex, or about everything but my god, once a week? I'd go crazy."

''Like I'm not going crazy.''

"Talk to him, that's my only advice."

''We'll see.''

"I missed talking to my best friend." She hugged her.

''Me too.'' They got the baked goods out of the oven and decorated everything. Putting extra attention to the twins' birthday cake, which wasn't that hard since one of Brittany's hobbies was baking and decorating cakes.

A while later they walked into the living room. "Who wants food?" Brittany smiled widely as hungry kids ran to her direction.


End file.

Grey's Anatomy, Drama, Romance