Full Metal Panic A Complicated Delivery

She placed a hand over her swollen belly, wincing as another round of contractions passed through.

"Sousuke, I think we should get going now," Kaname said. She turned to see where her husband was and felt a wave of irritation as she saw him packing war gear into a duffel bag.

"Just get the travel kit I packed already," Kaname said with a sigh, feeling too tired to check him for his ridiculousness.

"It's better to be prepared. We don't know how long this mission will take, and I want to be ready for any scenario…" Sousuke said stiffly. Kaname smiled softly, and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"It'll be okay, relax," she said soothingly. Unfortunately, just as she said so, another wave of contractions hit her and caused her face to scrunch up in pain.

"Painkillers…antiseptics…" Sousuke mumbled throwing supplies from their closet left and right as he searched for quick remedies.

"Sousuke, you're not going to have to deliver the baby yourself. Let's just get to the hospital," Kaname said as patiently as she could.

Her patience was definitely wearing thin, what with a husband that was ignoring her and continuing to panic and a series of contractions that were getting more frequent.

"Sousuke Sagara, just get in the car!" she finally cried out, taking the nearest object—unfortunately for Sousuke, a TV remote—and whacking him on the head.

"Roger that, yes of course…" Sousuke said, picking up both the travel pack Kaname had packed and the one he had put together. She just hoped that they wouldn't be arrested at the hospital. That would prove to be slightly inconvenient.

Sousuke rushed to the car, hastily stuffing their luggage into the truck, sweat drops of anxiety covering his face.

"Now to point alpha at time 00:00. Execution immediately. Backup reinforcements none…" Sousuke began muttering as his hand shook.

"SOUSUKE!" Kaname burst out. Out her outburst, he snapped into attention and pulled the car door—straight into his face. Kaname watched in disbelief as he fell to the ground, knocked out cold.

"And here I thought he would be useful for once," Kaname sighed. Now what was she going to do?

…

She flipped through her phone book, and started with Kyoko, who lived in the neighboring town. The phone rang once, twice, three times—and ended with an answering machine.

"Kyoko here! Sorry I can't take your phone call right now, but I'm away on my honeymoon!" the phone message chimed out. Kaname shook her head. It had been six months since Kyoko had been on her honeymoon, yet she still hadn't changed the message. Things must be going well between her and Shinji. She remembered how they had joked that her initials would become KK after she got married—for Kazama Kyoko.

Sighing, she moved down the list. Her parents' phone numbers. She skipped them entirely, knowing full well that they weren't even in the country, let alone the same part of Japan.

She knew she had more close acquaintances than this. Then why was it that she was still stuck in her driveway, her husband prone on the pavement, with a baby almost on its way?

Then the last two lines of her phone book caught her attention. Sousuke's handwriting. The first entry was of Melissa Mao and Kurz Weber's home. Although they were living together now, they were rarely home, always away on some missing or another. But she decided to give it a try anyway.

"Sousuke, do you need more girl advice?" Kurz's voice teased through the phone.

"Actually, it's Kaname," Kaname said, wondering what kind of conversations the two men would have. On the other hand, maybe she didn't want to know.

"Kaname! Ignore this idiot over here," Melissa boomed, giving what sounded like a kick or a punch to Kurz, "What's the occasion?"

"Well, to make things short…I need to get to the hospital to deliver a baby and Sousuke is lying unconscious on the driveway thanks to his own stupidity. I can't pick him up and I don't want to leave him here and go to the hospital myself," Kaname said quickly, the irritation in her voice mounting.

"That idiot Sousuke. Don't worry, we'll be on our way. We're a little far from you though, so I'll send Tessa a message to send a helicopter over for you," Melissa said soothingly. Kaname felt a sweat drop form at the thought of a helicopter landing on her front yard.

"Uh, I appreciate it, but the helicopter…" Kaname began, but was interrupted by Kurz who said, "We're coming in the AS units since it'll be faster than going through traffic. We'll be there soon!"

Click. Why couldn't any of Sousuke's friends be normal?

…

As promised, no more than ten minutes later, a helicopter landed on what had been evenly mowed grass. She hoped her flowers would survive the wind currents formed by the helicopter, but a quick look told her in the negative. Sighing, she waved out to Tessa, who stepped down somewhat clumsily to the ground. Behind her was Commander Kalanin, who promptly picked up Sousuke.

"Sorry for the trouble," Kaname said, even though she was quickly feeling that the scenario would place her in more trouble than anything.

Tessa shook her head and ran a quick hand over Kaname's belly.

"I can't wait to see your little one," she said softly. Kaname and Sousuke had agreed that Tessa would act as their child's godmother—a role that had thrilled Tessa when she heard about it. She would act almost like a second mother, Kaname knew.

"Let's go," Tessa said, giving Kaname an arm for support. Kaname took it, but felt silly supporting her weight on someone lighter and clumsier than her. But she appreciated the gesture all the same.

…

They reached the hospital in good time. Kaname's contractions were still not so close together that it was crunch time, but they had definitely increased in frequency and sensation.

Their town hospital was small, meaning Kaname's maternity ward ended up being across the hall from the general care unit where Sousuke was placed. Lucky bastard, thought Kaname, to be asleep through all of this.

She settled into her sheets, only half-listening to the doctor's instructions. I was hoping he would've been here by my side, Kaname thought for a moment. She shook her head. This was not the time to be acting weak by any means.

And she wasn't alone. Tessa walked into the room and took a seat beside her.

"They're running head scans to check if he has a concussion, but so far everything looks normal," Tessa announced. Kaname nodded, but had not expected anything on the contrary. Such a small injury was nothing for him.

"Is he still unconscious?" Kaname asked. Tessa shook her head.

"No, he began regaining consciousness, but is undergoing tests for the moment," she explained

"I see. Well once he gets back, I have a message for him," Kaname said, a scary look coming into her eyes. Tessa leaned back in fright at what her message possibly could be. She did not envy Sousuke whenever he managed to make Kaname mad—usually by his own actions, of course.

"Um, well I'll go check up on Sousuke and be right back," Tessa said, inching away slowly. Kaname nodded slowly, wincing as another round of contractions passed through.

Sousuke was back from his MRI scan, and greeted Tessa as she walked into his room.

"Kaname's really mad at you, you know," Tessa whispered. Sousuke gulped and a look of fright came into his eyes. It was quickly followed by guilt, however.

"I failed," he said simply, but the agony in his eyes was not lost on Tessa.

"No, you're at the hospital now. She needs your support now, sergeant," Tessa said, rising to her full height and crossing her arms. Sousuke hesitated, and then turned away from her.

"…not ready…" he mumbled. Tessa sighed and left his room. The sounds of sharp cries made her pick up her pace and she half-ran into Kaname's room.

"Kaname!" she cried out in concern.

"It's okay. The contractions are getting bigger, that's all," she said, as sweat began to form on her forehead. Tessa grasped one of her hands in her own, and felt cold sweat line her palm.

"Can you let Sousuke know that I'm doing okay and not to worry?" Kaname said suddenly. Tessa nodded and raced across the hallway to Sousuke's room. Sousuke's physician was beginning to wheel him away from another test.

"Kaname says she's doing okay and not to worry," Tessa repeated for Sousuke. Sousuke nodded in thanks. Tessa hurried back to Kaname's room. She could not bear leaving Kaname on her own now, even if she was a strong woman.

Kaname was writhing now and then, as a particularly intense contraction passed through.

"Five centimeters," the gynecologist called out. Oh god, Tessa thought, she's almost there! She needed to keep Sousuke updated, but she also couldn't leave—not now when Kaname had an iron grip on her hand.

"Tell Sousuke…the baby's coming," Kaname wheezed, and then let go of Tessa's hand. Tessa nodded and raced across the hallway—slipping in the process. Cursing under her breath—Melissa would call her out on that for sure—she entered Sousuke's room. He had yet to return from the examination room. Gritting her teeth, Tessa raced back to Kaname's room.

"Are you a relative of hers?" the nurse asked, over the sounds of Kaname's cries.

"No," Tessa responded.

"Is there a relative of hers in this building?" the nurse probed once again.

"Her husband is admitted in this hospital as well," Tessa said quickly, concern growing for Kaname.

"Can you take me to him? The physician wants to give her local anesthetic, but we need the signature of a witness—a relation—on this form," the nurse explained.

Nodding so much that stands of hair became loose from her bun, Tessa led the nurse across the hall. Luckily, Sousuke had returned.

"Listen…to…nurse…" Tessa wheezed and collapsed into a chair. The nurse promptly explained the situation to Sousuke, who signed the form almost immediately. He began to rise to follow the nurse to Kaname's room, but his own nurse held him back.

"We need to run a few more tests to confirm that your accident did not harm you in any way. Please bear with us for a half hour more," the nurse said patiently.

"A half hour?" Sousuke asked incredulous, "My baby will be born by then! I need to be there!"

"Can you delay his examinations for the moment? I can assure you that he will return once the delivery is over," Tessa requested, getting to her feet.

"I am sorry. To ensure that he has no neurological damage, the tests must be done as soon as possible. The particular biomarkers we are looking for can only be detected within an hour of the accident," the nurse said. She looked sorry, but not sorry enough, Tessa decided, especially since she was keeping Sousuke from seeing the birth of his first child.

"Please tell Kaname that I am sorry," Sousuke said in a low voice. Tessa extended her arm to place a comforting hand on his shoulder, but the blank look in his eyes caused her to pause.

She turned away and raced back to Kaname's room. She was fully prepared, and looked more relaxed now that she had been given local anesthetic.

"Tessa," Kaname said, giving a soft smile, the nervousness evident on her face.

Tessa settled down beside her and gave what she hoped was a reassuring smile.

"Sousuke won't be able to come," Tessa said softly, "Since he has another half hour of tests to go through at least."

Kaname nodded, a strange look in her eyes. Was it sadness that her husband would not be there to witness their first child's birth? Or anger at Sousuke for hitting his forehead on the car door at all? Or was it something else entirely?

Kaname began her the breathing pattern she had rehearsed for this purpose—in and out, in and out. A sudden scream caused her to pause in mid-breath. A scream could only mean—

"Tessa, I think you'd better go…and check up on…Sousuke," Kaname managed, trying not to interrupt her breathing. Reluctantly, Tessa rose and rushed over the to other room, where Sousuke had the physician at gunpoint.

"Ah, Madam Captain. If I could humbly request your translation skills. I asked the physician to stop my tests and take me to my wife, but he doesn't seem to understand me," Sousuke said calmly, holding the point of the gun under the white-robed man's chin.

Tessa cleared her throat, trying to regain her commander mien despite her thudding nervousness for Kaname's situation.

"Sergeant Sousuke Sagara! I command you to release that man immediately!" she cried out.

"But Captain…" Sousuke began, only to get a glare from Tessa.

"Do I need to make myself any clearer, Sergeant?" she hissed.

"No. My apologies, captain," Sousuke replied, removing the man from gunpoint. Relieved to be released, the physician ran out of the room.

"Well, now that he's gone, I can go to Kaname," Sousuke said, putting his weapon away. The nurse who had been watching the whole incident in shocked silence seemed to regain her wits now.

"I-I-I'm af-f-rai-d-d th-th-at I n-need to rep-p-ort you," she stammered, her hand reaching out for the nearest telephone.

It was time to take responsibility for her subordinate's actions. Tessa bowed completely at the waist. The nurse paused in shock.

"I apologize for his actions. I can provide you with an official apology in writing as well, as well as my word that it will not happen again," Tessa said.

"O-okay…" the nurse finally said, and also proceeded to leave the room.

"Is that necessary, captain?" Sousuke asked.

"We don't use our weapons on civilians, Sergeant, for any reason," Tessa said firmly and extended her hand.

Sousuke hesitated, and then emptied out his pockets—which ended in a pile of weaponry and battle gear.

"Thank you, Sergeant," Tessa said, trying to hide her surprise. Where had all of this been? There was no indication of a weapon on his person. A true professional—who also had no common sense…

"Yo!" a voice called out from the doorway. Tessa turned in relief to see Kurz Weber and Melissa Mao in the flesh.

"Can't believe it took us a half hour to get here, even with the AS units," Kurz drawled, giving an elbow to his ribs.

"I'm so glad you're here," Tessa half-sobbed, running over to Melissa.

"There, there. Let's go see how Kaname's doing, shall we?" Melissa said, holding the trembling Tessa. Moments after the women had left, Kurz turned to Sousuke with a serious expression.

"Gonna be a dad, huh?" he asked.

"Yeah," Sousuke answered simply.

"You nervous?" Kurz teased, slinging an arm around Sousuke.

"Yes," Sousuke replied.

"Well I can't say you shouldn't be, but Kaname'll make a good mom at least," Kurz said, grinning.

"The implication of your statement is that I would not make a good father, correct?" Sousuke asked.

"I'm kidding, relax," Kurz said, chuckling. Sousuke's frown deepened.

"Well, do you think Kaname would've married you in the first place if she didn't think you were dependable?" Kurz asked.

"I suppose not," Sousuke replied.

"Have a bit more confidence. Now let's go see that baby of yours," Kurz said. But as he walked over to the doorway, another physician was standing in the doorway.

"He has several tests to go through. I cannot allow him to leave until they are complete," the physician said, nervous sweat forming on his forehead. Apparently he had already heard from the previous physician.

After arguing in vain with the physician, Kurz finally put a hand on Sousuke's shoulder.

"I'll ask Tessa to relay info back and forth, to keep you updated okay?" Kurz said, disappearing into the other room.

And poor Tessa returned to her former role as messenger. She eventually took off her heels, unable to keep up the pace in informing Sousuke as the birth was reaching its climax.

Although her patience with Sousuke was higher than Kaname's, after crossing the hallway at least a hundred times, Tessa was at the end of her patience. She hoped the baby would be born faster, so her torment would be over.

"It's a boy!" the nurse called out happily as the sounds of a baby's first cry filled the room. Kaname looked exhausted, but content at the same time.

Gazing at the small creature covered in blood, Tessa could not help but smile despite her fatigue. She wanted to stay, but she needed to let Sousuke know. Melissa was making a phone call—no doubt to Kaname's relatives—so it was her duty to inform Sousuke.

She raced across the hall—only to slip head first into a basin of urine. Spitting out the disgusting liquid, she continued and cried out as soon as she reached Sousuke's room, "It's a boy!"

And proceeded to faint onto the floor.

…

Tessa opened her eyes to bright light and groaned.

"Ah, the princess is awake!" a voice cried out cheerfully. Tessa sat up at the sound of Melissa's voice—and saw Kaname holding her little one in her arms on the sofa. Sousuke was sitting next to her, gazing at his newborn with a tender and prideful gaze. Where was she, anyway?

Tessa turned and saw Kurz talking to the nurse, a serious expression on his face. He frowned and turned to Melissa.

"Can we get Mithril to cover the hospital expenses?" he asked, "It's not going to be cheap—what with Sousuke's tests, Kaname's overnight stay and Tessa's stay for two days…"

"Two days?" Tessa cried out.

"You were exhausted, running back and forth. They gave you IV's, but you were passed out for two days," Melissa explained, "You can blame this idiot here."

She indicated to Kurz, who looked offended.

"Why is this my fault?" Kurz demanded.

"You forgot to tell her that we had phone connection between the rooms!" Melissa spat out.

"P-phone?" Tessa said shakily, a laugh of disbelief escaping from her mouth. As realization dawned upon her that her actions were not only draining, but were also completely unnecessary, she proceeded to faint once more…


End file.

Full Metal Panic, Humor