Full Metal Panic 1. Default Chapter

The breeze was somewhat stiff that morning.

Large groups of leaves were blowing around the Komaba Campus, dancing between buildings, darting around the students hurrying between classes.

The stunning blue hair of one girl looked to have a life of its own, lifted away from her like a living nimbus. Her skirt flapped around her long shapely legs and her scarf hovered above the collar of her fashionable coat.

One of her assignment papers dropped out of its folder, seized by a small whirling dervish of wind. She ran after it, stopping when a young man snagged it out of the air.

"_Well-l-l-l_, Kaname... looks like you owe me..." The young man held out the paper. "So, how about we go out again? You _know_ you want to..."

"How much is it?" The girl answered with a sour voice.

"W-W-What?" The boy's face went slack with confusion.

"You said I owe you. _How much?"_ The blue-haired girl opened up her purse.

"Let's see... I'll settle for dinner... a movie... and a night at my place..." By the tone of his voice, there could be no doubt that the young man thought he was hot stuff.

"Great. Let me know how it goes. Now, how much to get you to leave me alone? Forever!" The girl stamped her foot. Her face would have frightened someone with a weaker constitution.

"Huh? _What?_ You're kidding, right?" The college student struck a pose, letting the wind pick up his shoulder length hair.

"When they let you into Tokyo University, someone was kidding. _I'm_ not. I just want you to leave me alone." The girl snatched the paper out of the guy's hand, the started back towards the nearest campus building.

The young man grabbed the girl's arm, making her jerk to a stop. "Come on Kaname, it's common sense. The prettiest girl should be going out with the best looking guy. So, what's there not to like about me?"

"Aside from being conceited, dense, insensitive, chauvinistic, lecherous, and a first class jerk... nothing. _Hmmmpppfff!"_ The girl pulled away, pulled her coat tight against her, and started strolling faster to make up taime.

"Hey. I'm not through with you bitch!" The boy stood watching her walking away, shouting at the top of his lungs. "I'm _not_ someone to be messed with. You should be grateful. If you----"

The young man never finished what he was doing to say. Somehow, he fell or was pulled into a large thick row of shrubs. A series of solid impacts could be heard. The young man's scream echoed about the quadrangle, lost on the wind.

Kaname turned around, startled by the final high pitched yelp. She saw a young man walking away from the area, his back turned to her. There was something about his walk that was familiar, but she couldn't place it.

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Kaname sat in the far row of the classroom, tapping her pen against the desk top. The current block in Natural Sciences III was Biology. The day's topic was ecology of Pacific Islands, with a heavy emphasis on marine life.

She dropped her pen when her hand went slack. The projected picture of a wave breaking against a rocky outcrop brought back a poignant memory. She had been standing on just such a rock, a fishing pole in her hands, strong arms holding her back from falling.

_Sousuke Sagara.  
_  
It had been his arms. He had taken her to his secret fishing spot, not too many days after they had helped save that submarine from that horrible man and a bunch of traitors. He had tried to reach out to her, telling her that he felt like he could do anything around her. It had gotten her hopes up.

_She had finally admitted to herself that she had a crush on him_.

And a few weeks later, he had informed her that he had been reassigned. He was the only pilot who could operate the damn Arm Slave that _she_ had helped him learn how to use. Her safety took a back seat to that metal monstrosity.

She didn't want to think back to those times. It didn't make any sense thinking about him. She hadn't returned any of his calls, or his clueless attempts at written correspondence. What would the point have been?

Just another carrot dangled before her, taken away just as she had it in her hands.

_The story of her life.  
_  
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The track at the athletic grounds was not too crowded. A number of sports clubs were going through drills or scrimmages on the adjacent fields, but there were few people running at the moment.

Kaname was working up a good sweat, intent on jogging until she had to stop. With each lap, her attention was drawn to a nearby series of work-out stations. That same young man was doing pull-ups. He had been doing them the last time she passed by too. _Remarkable._ Maybe not. _He probably had taken a breather at some point._

She wished she could see his face, but he was turned away from her and at too far a distance. Just as well, since the last thing she really needed to think about now was guys. It seemed to be the solemn task of _every_ guy on campus to ask her out. Those she turned down chased after her, begging. Those she went out with once, and ended up with no desire to see again, dogged her heels like it was their destiny.

Of course, the few that she had ended up liking could never deal with her attitude and opinions for too long.

_Why did she even bother?_

When she was finally finished, Kaname walked over to a large and stately oak and placed one leg on it, determined to do some stretching while she cooled down.

"Kaname!"

Kaname turned around and cringed. _Now they were coming in groups! _The Captain of the Rugby Club ran up, a number of his buddies in tow. He was one of the guys who had taken her out once before she realized that was more than enough. The rest had each asked her out at least once. Most had been annoying persistent.

"It's your _lucky_ day, Kaname." The guy put his leg up and began stretching too. It was unlikely that he had his leg hooked over hers by coincidence.

"No." Kaname brought her leg down in a huff. What did she have to do just to have some peace?

"But I haven't asked you yet..." The Rugby Captain put on his most winning smile.

"I'll save you the trouble. Whatever it is, the answer is 'No.'" Kaname began to head back towards the girl's entrance to the indoor athletic facilities.

"You're a good enough athlete to play on the team. We'd sure love to have you in our scrums." The guys all laughed. "You'd also make a great cheerleader, and would do a wonderful job of filling out the mascot suit. That would bring in a whole bunch of new spectators and sponsors." A number of the guys slapped hands. "And, I hear you have great hands. Ever think of being a masseuse?"

Kaname's temper had passed critical. "I still don't understand why guys who spend so much time pushing against each other and grunting are surprised when the ladies want nothing to do with them." Kaname tossed her hair, having it blow back into her face. "No need to put on an act, _girls."  
_  
"We weren't talking about _ladies._ We were talking about _you."_ None of the players took Kaname's remarks kindly. The whole gang of them slapped each other on the back, guffawing.

"Idiots!" Kaname walked past the chin-up station. _  
_  
The Rugby Squad began calling out rude comments, threatening to start some choice rumors. But, their game abruptly stopped. One second they were there... the next time she looked over at the tree, they were gone. Suddenly, there was a series of screams and a long loud cry for help.

What were they up to now?

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The cafeteria was busy that night.

Kaname didn't usually eat there. It wasn't that the food was bad... she simply didn't like the noise and crowded conditions. But, tonight she needed to do some work on campus, and didn't feel like taking the time to deal with a restaurant.

It wouldn't be so bad if she had made more friends than she had; but, no one she cared about ever ate there.

Scanning the crowd, she didn't recognize anyone. There were a number of tables full of International students. A few clubs were dining together as a group. Teachers and graduate students were congregating in their own little enclaves.

She missed Kyouko most of all. Her and Ryo, Maya, and Ren. Kyouko had gone to _Rikkyo_ _University_... Ryo to _Hosei University_... Maya to _Waseda University_...and Ren to _Meiji University._ They still got together every once in a while; but now that each of her high school friends had a steady boyfriend, it was harderd and harder to find the time.

The sound of dozens of conversations blurred together in a general noise. But, Kaname could make out the word of people close to her.

"I was really scared." A girl across the table from Kaname had a bandage wrapped around one hand. "I was so busy worrying about the test tomorrow, that I wasn't thinking. I saw that woman drop her bag, then ran across the street to give it to her. It..." The girl shuddered.

"What happened?" Another girl asked with a mouth full of food.

"There was a big truck coming. I heard the brakes. _It couldn't stop in time."_ The injured girl's fork trembled in her hand.

"It didn't hit you did it?" A third girl stirred her soup, spilling some over the edge of the bowl. "Is that what happened to your hand?"

"No. Before I knew it, somebody picked me up in his arms and ran me out of the way. He was _so_ strong and so fast." The girl sighed. "Really _cute_ too."

"Who was he? Do we know him? Did you get his number?" A number of other girls at the table all chimed in, eager to hear the details.

"I don't know. I've seen him around campus before, but I think he's pretty new. He put me down, suggested I be more cautious, and walked away. He said _'Perhaps the school should_ _teach a safety course for women.'_ It wasn't the first time he had to save someone." The girl rearranged her bandage.

"How did you hurt your hand, then?" A girl asked while flicking the mushrooms out of her salad.

"Oh..." The girl blushed. "I was too busy watching him walk away. I fell down a stairwell."

The girls all laughed at that.

Kaname stared down at her own food, thinking back to a time when she had been in a similar situation. The man had forgotten his briefcase. She ran out to catch him, stepping in front of a truck. It would have hit her.

_She'd be dead now, if it wasn't for Sousuke._

"Damn you, Sousuke." She merely muttered the words, but the girls sitting across from her flinched. It was her face that did it.

As with any Sousuke memory, there was always a catch. Sitting on the ground, his hand had wandered where it shouldn't be. But, that wasn't why Kaname was angry. So many memories vied for her attention now, all of them having a clueless Mithril sergeant as the focal point.

That moron had overlooked her new swim suit, and managed to cover her with watermelon pulp. But, thinking she was in danger, he risked his life to rescue her. The jerk had misunderstood the flirting contest and captured women in cages. But, standing by the lake in the sunset, he had said that she was beautiful. The big idiot had shouted at her when she was worried about him. But, he had charged a larger man with a gun to save her, and apologized afterwards. So many memories. So many good times and bad problems. She should feel better now, without that kind of aggravation in her life.

_She didn't.  
_  
"Bastard." She knew she wasn't being fair. She had come to believe that Sousuke would always be there for her, even though she knew he was simply on assignment. When the major attempts on the Whispered were thwarted, he was too value a commodity to waste on one teenage girl. She hadn't realized how much he meant to her until he was gone.

"I hope he's still alive." Her whispered words made Kaname feel very uneasy. She had her share of problems to fight her way through, but he routinely faced great dangers.

Would the law of averages finally catch up with him?

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Looking around to make sure no one was watching, Kaname stood on the bottom shelf, trying to reach a book high above the floor.

She didn't fell like looking around for one of the rolling step stools. Slipping, she fell into the arms of someone.

"Be careful, Kaname. Is _this_ the book you wanted?" The handsome young man handed her a large volume..

"Yes, thank you." She blushed, swallowing.

"Well, see you around." He turned and walked towards a sitting area.

Kaname sighed. She _really_ liked that guy, but he had never called her after their first few dates. Watching him walk away, she saw him put his arm around another girl. "She's no prettier than I am," she muttered. What was she doing wrong? Was she cursed?

_Would a forceful personality and bad temper doom her forever?  
_  
Closing her eyes, she rested her forehead against the chill metal of the shelf for a few moments. She took in the smell of new printings, mixed with the odor of older mustier books. The air from a nearby ceiling vent caressed the back of her neck. The sound of hushed whispering, squeaking library carts, and the busy cargo lift, were muffled by the rush of blood in her ears.

Picking up her other books, she lugged them over to an isolated table near the History section. Setting aside her regrets, she continued her work on her assignment. The hours passed, and she felt a cramp coming on. Just as she was about to stand up and take a break, she heard some chuckling.

"Hey guys, look who it is. Kaname Chidori, the Ice Princess." A group of guys had gotten off the elevator, book lists in their hands. "I hope we're not disturbing you, _Your Highness."_ He bowed.

Kaname ignored the lout. He was another unsuccessful suitor. Gathering up her things, she decide it was time for a change of scenery.

"_Oooooh_. Look at her walk. Every inch a Queen." Another boy joined in, wanting to be part of the game.

"Your _Maaaaaaa-jesty,"_ Another clown added.

Biting her lip, Kaname cursed herself when she began to move faster. He shouldn't let things like that get to her. As she tuned the corner and walked towards another sitting area, she heard a series of loud noises.

_What was going on?  
_  
Realizing she had forgotten her purse, she gathered up her nerve and headed back. When she got to her table, everyone was gone. Looking off down the aisle, she saw a pair of shoes disappear into the stacks. From that angle, the person would have to be sitting down and sliding backwards. Either that, or he was being pulled by someone else.

One of the ceiling lights was swing wildly too, casting eerie shadows across the far wall. Curious, she almost went over to see what was going on. Thinking that it might be some kind of prank she didn't want to get involved in, she retrieved her pocket book and continued on her way.

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Rolling over in bed, Kaname checked her clock again.

_3A.M_.

Well, at least she had been out for an entire hour this time.

This was ridiculous! Ashe had overheard a few simple words, and now she couldn't get a peaceful night's sleep. She could kill that guy!

When she had finished at the library, she had made her way back to her apartment. Climbing the stairs, she heard someone down on the street calling out to one of his buddies, just as he was about to get into his car.

"Hey man, sorry I forgot that CD!"

"Don't worry. Bring it with you the next time. It's not a problem!"

'It's not a problem'._  
_  
Kaname didn't have to do a lot of thinking to remember where she had heard those words before. It didn't take a lot of research to discover who once had a habit of saying that.

_Sousuke._

She sat there thinking about him, giving little notice to the sound of a dog barking outside. One of her windows rattled in the wind, but that didn't register on her either. She simply pulled her blanket tightly around herself, and shifted onto her side.

"I could hate him! He's not even around and he's causing me trouble..." Kaname pulled the pillow over her head, wishing again that she had sleeping pills. "It _is _a problem!"

Every time she closed he eyes and fell asleep, she dreamed about some incident involving that scruffy-haired otaku. The fake date with Mizuki, and that kiss. The day everyone thought they were going to die, before all the clothes started dissolving. The day they ran through a forest, enemy soldiers on their trail. The time that damn girl had stepped out of his shower with the towel on.

"Damn." Kaname couldn't fall back to sleep this time. A new thought did her in. She wondered if Tessa ever convinced Sousuke to return her affections. She let out a long sigh.

_If she could somehow wish Sousuke into her life again, would she do it?  
_  
Her sleep might not be peaceful tonight, but her days generally were. No explosions. No conspiracies. No Bonta-Kun. No filet of carp... no flash bang earrings... no paint spewing security gates...

She sighed again. No one who worried about her when they thought she was covered with blood... no one who would watch over her when she was on a date with another guy... no one who would look at her in a kimono and sound like he had witnessed a miracle... no one who needed her to look after him... no one who would give his life looking after her...

No.

Tokyo University was safer this way.

Just think what might have happened if Sousuke had been around when those guys had made her life a living Hell today! Kaname sat up in bed, the pillow knocking over her bedside lamp and sending the alarm clock to the floor.

"It couldn't have been..."

No.

She shouldn't let her imagination run wild. If Sousuke had somehow been on campus today, there would have been at least one explosion. Or, she would have heard gunshots. Something like that!_  
_  
Unable to sleep, she took out her High School scrapbook and leafed through it. Once upon a time, she had taken out every picture with a certain soldier in it. Instead of throwing them away, she had simply tossed them in the back of the book.

She looked through those pictures, got a bottle of glue, and started filling in the empty spaces.

If only she could do that with her life...

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"Great. Just great!"

That was the twentieth time that Kaname had said those words that morning.

She knew it would be a wonderful day when she woke up late. The alarm clock must have broken when she knocked it the floor the night before.

In a rush, she had gotten soap in her eyes. She slipped and fell getting out of the shower. Scurrying about gathering the things she needed for school, she had let her toast burn. Pulling too hard, she tore her stockings. Not realizing it was going to rain, she had run off without her umbrella.

Now, in a hurry to make it to class in time, she had to run across _this._ A large crowd of people were gathering at one end of the campus, making it difficult to move along the walkway. What was going on?_  
_  
The lights from police cars were reflecting of the windows of the nearest building. There was a small trail of smoke twisting and climbing skyward. Firemen and police officers were holding back the milling group of onlookers.

_There was the sound of gunfire.  
_  
"What's happening?" Kaname asked one girl, putting her hand up to shield her eyes when another brief sheet of windblown rain pelted her.

"Someone tried to attack the Advanced Research Lab." The girl kept jumping up, trying to get a view of the building in question.

"They _should_ have built that at the Kashiwa campus, or maybe Hongo." Another girl made a face when the people around her kept stepping on her feet.

"I heard one of the officers say that it's probably terrorists. Why would they want to attack the University?" One boy was discussing the situation with his friends.

"I heard a lot of strange stories about that Lab and the people who work there," another boy put in.

"You hear strange stories about everything," a girl laughed. _"You're_ the strangest story of them all!"

Kaname continue on her way to class. There was no time to stand and listen to gossip and supposition. It didn't make a lot of sense to hang around trying to watch that kind of thing, anyway. She knew that from experience. Hopefully those idiots would find out the same thing the hard way.

She stopped, when she neared on of the buildings. Her eye had caught sight of some kind of movement. It had been fleeting, located off in the shadows.

_Could that have been one of the terrorists?  
_  
She bit her lip. It would be better if she didn't pay any attention and went on about her business. But, what if she might see something that would prevent some catastrophe, or save lives? How could she sit in class comfortably, if she worried about the possibility of someone with a gun or a bomb raising havoc? If someone had gotten by the cordoned off area, the authorities should know about it.

Kaname stepped carefully, back against the chill brick wall, pushing dripping wet shrubbery and low hanging tree branches out of her way. Water trickled own her neck as a result, almost causing her to curse out loud. She put one hand over her mouth.

Peering around the corner, she could just barely make out a crouching shape ducked down behind an air-conditioning unit. It was holding something up to its head.

Swallowing, she moved closer, quietly. Hand up around her ear, she strained to hear what was being said.

_"An attack was made as suspected. Professional. Half a dozen men, well- armed. All of middle-eastern appearance. This attempt was neutralized, with no difficulty. Four men are dead. Two were seen being taken into official custody."  
_  
The voice was low. Kaname had trouble being certain exactly what was being said. She took a few more steps towards the poorly seen figure.

_"The research staff is unharmed. Data systems were not compromised, and the equipment remains intact. The rudimentary security system functioned adequately, allowing me to arrive in time. Recommend further augmentation as previously discussed."  
_  
Kaname couldn't help herself. She knew she had no business there. If the speaker was some kind of operative, she might actually be in danger. But, this was exciting. It felt like the old days, when Sousuke was around. She crept forward, one slow step at a time.

_"I have taken a superficial wound to the upper arm. Otherwise, I too am intact. My---" the voice stopped abruptly.  
_  
Before she knew it, Kaname was roughly grabbed and thrown against the side of the building. There was the cold muzzle of a pistol against her throat. How could anyone move that far that fast?

"Who are... uh... Chidori?" The voice was all too familiar.

**_It was Sousuke._**


	2. Chapter 2

"_Oooooh!"_

Kaname kicked the garbage can as hard as she could. It was the nearest thing she could take her fury out on. The can didn't go flying as it might have. Instead, Kaname's shoe got wedged into the metal grillwork that formed the outer shell.

"Perfect!"

Tugging as hard as she could, the irate blue-haired girl couldn't free her foot. Slipping out of her shoe, she tugged with all her might. The shoe came free. She somersaulted backward, her skirt ending up over her head. The gathering crowd of amused passersby all laughed, chuckled, or made snide comments. To make matters worse, her shoe was terribly scuffed and scratched.

_"Damn him!"_

It was all Sousuke's fault. That jerk!When he had let her go, Sousuke had run off. 'I must treat this wound. I should not be late for class. My apologies, I did not wish to disturb you.' That had been all that he said before disappearing again._  
_  
They hadn't seen each other in years, and that was all he could say and do. Mistake her for a terrorist. Hold a gun against her. Say a few words. Then go away. It wasn't supposed to happen that way. She had been thinking about him again. She even put his pictures in the album. Didn't that count for something?

"It shouldn't matter..."

Kaname kicked the garbage can again. Her shoe got caught again.

"_Ahhhhh..."_

It shouldn't matter that she never wrote back? Well. She had every right to hang up the telephone those times that he called to talk to her, didn't she? What else could she have done? A clean break heals better than a mangled wound.

Yes.

_She had done the right thing._

Picking herself off of the ground a second time, she clenched her fists with renewed rage. She had thought she must be dreaming, seeing him standing there. She hadn't known whether to hug him or slug him. Then, as if he had simply bumped into a stranger, he spat out a few hurried words and left her standing there.

Shivering, Kaname fought to catch her breath. Her books scattered across the wet ground. The anger churning inside her slowly fizzled out. She shouldn't be surprised if Sousuke didn't want anything to do with her. He had grown more handsome, was taller and broader built. No doubt he had a girlfriend somewhere, and didn't feel comfortable talking to other women.

_That would be just like him.  
_  
"It doesn't matter..."

No. It shouldn't matter. But, it did. _Why?_ Was she thinking that she could simply turn back the clock... step right in where things had left off... and see what could come of it?

"With my luck? Right!"

Kaname checked her watch. She sighed. It was time to head off for her next class.  
Everywhere she walked, she kept looking around, hoping to catch a glimpse of Sousuke.  
But, he was nowhere to be seen.

"Big idiot."

Kaname wasn't certain who she was talking about.

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Looking out the window, Kaname regretted not having her umbrella.

The skies had opened up with a vengeance this time, sending a torrent of rain down, forming huge puddles and rivers of water soon after it began. She watched as groups of individuals braved the deluge, their umbrella buffeted by strong cross-drafts.

At least her classes had gone well. There had been no ambushes by her bevy of unwanted pursuers. One boy had finally worked up the courage to approach her, but he had run off white as a sheet when he saw her face.

Her stomach rumbled. She hadn't been hungry at lunch, but felt her appetite returning in spades. If the rain ever let up, she'd head out for a bite to eat.

A group of excited voices grew louder as one door opened.

"You could join our study group, it would be _so-o-o-o-o-o-o_ wonderful." The girl sounded breathless. "Yes, we could take turns cooking you meals. I'm a _really_ good cook!" Another girl almost sounded like she was begging. "We could take turns doing your laundry. We could even do it as a group, if you like." A third girl sounded just as besotted as the other two. "You don't already have a girlfriend, do you? _Is that it?"_ the voices all stopped.

"Negative." It was a young man's voice.

_Sousuke.  
_  
Kaname turned around fast, almost knocking a teacher down the stairs. Sousuke was standing with a somewhat frantic look on his face, surrounded by a group of girls. Her hands clenched into fists, Kaname set her jaw. No matter how Sousuke might feel about her, she was going to get him to speak to her for more than two seconds! He owed her that much, whether he knew it or not. She smiled a devilish smile.

_"_Sous-kaaaay_…_ She ran up to the startled young soldier and pushed her way through the crowd. She grabbed him by the hand. "I've been waiting for you _all_ day..." This ought to work.

"Is this your girlfriend?" One of the girl's looked shocked. "Tell me you don't like someone like _her..." _Another girl made a face. "You're too nice for someone like _that._ We've heard about her." A third girl tugged on Sousuke's sleeve. "Who is she to you?"

Sousuke looked at Kaname. "We were acquainted once. Miss Chidori did not wish for the acquaintance to continue." He didn't look at Kaname as he spoke.

"But... Sousuke..." Kaname was brushed aside by the group of girls as they followed after. _"Please..."_ She hated the sound of her voice. It wasn't as if she were desperate or anything. But, she was not about to be brushed aside like yesterday's crumbs.

He kept walking.

Kaname was struck by an idea. It might work. But, it was despicable. "Sousuke, I need your help..." As Kaname watched, Sousuke slowed down. She swallowed, deciding to go all the way. "I'm in danger."

Sousuke stopped. He looked at the girls who swarmed around him. "I must decline your kind offer. It is true that I need assistance with my studies. But, I am determined to give it my best shot first."

"He's _so_ dedicated." One girl said. The bunch of them started talking among themselves.

Kaname stood tall as she watched Sousuke. There was no reason for her to feel uneasy. It was only Sousuke after all.

"Kaname, you said you were in danger. _Specify!"_ Sousuke's face was grim. "Is it urgent and imminent?"

"We shouldn't talk here." Kaname looked around that part of the building. "I haven't been able to eat since breakfast. Would you come with me when I go out to dinner?"

Sousuke stood quietly for a moment as he ran his hand through his hair. Kaname stood looking at him. It was Sousuke, but it _wasn't_ Sousuke. Where was his camouflage and khakis? His hair was tidy and well groomed. He was pleasantly tanned, suggesting he had been on a mission somewhere in the sun. And that cologne...when did he start wearing cologne?

"It is not a problem," he answered.

Those words had Kaname weak in the knees. She chided herself.

"Let us proceed, then." Sousuke's voice sounded cold and impersonal.

"We'll need to wait until the rain stops, Sousuke. I don't have an umbrella." Kaname pointed out the window. She wished there had been a hint of kindness in Sousuke's voice. Either that or shyness, uncertainty…… _anything_. Even anger.

"Here, you may use this." He handed her his umbrella. "I am used to being wet. You will recall that I am a Specialist." After walking down the stairs, Sousuke held the door for Kaname.

"You know, we can share the umbrella, Sousuke. It will be easier to talk that way" She smiled, trying to lighten the mood. She could only guess what he must be thinking.

"Negative. You will walk a number of yards ahead of me. It will allow me a better view of the surroundings, and an opportunity to look for any suspicious activity. We will also not be seen as associates." He waited for Kaname to start walking.

"But..."

"Danger is nothing to be taken lightly, Kaname. I should think you would remember that. Walk at whatever pace you like. I will follow."

Kaname fumed. _The big stupid head!_ This was certainly nostalgic. No one could get her to feel this way but Sousuke.

_Fine_.

She would give him something to think about then. "Sousuke, would you like it if I wiggle a lot when I walk. I mean, seeing that you'll be behind me and all..." Kaname fought hard to keep from smiling.

She should be ashamed of herself, lying and now flirting. She promised herself she would feel bad later.

"Uh..."

"I'll take that as a yes." Kaname headed out into the rain.

Suddenly, for some reason, it seemed like a beautiful day.

_"_Sooooouuuuussss-kaaaaaay_..."  
_  
Kaname turned around. It was those girls again. They ran over to Sousuke. "Here, we can put all of our umbrellas together. You shouldn't be getting all wet like that." One of the girls leaned against Sousuke as she held up her umbrella. "I've got a washer and drier back at my place," another girl said. "Are you hungry?" A third girl stared up at him with hopeful eyes.

Kaname started grumbling. She wished she had a halisen with her. Those girls were getting on her nerves. As she walked, she kept looking over her shoulder. Sousuke was following, but the girls were still hovering around him. He could just be keeping a low profile as he followed her. No one would suspect he was trailing her if he stayed back with that gang of leeches. Then again, he just might be drinking in all the attention.

_Big jerk!  
_  
Why couldn't he have just walked with her like a normal boy?

Her lie.

Who was the big jerk? It was OK. She would make it up to him, by treating him to dinner.

"Sousuke, that mean girl keeps looking back at you. Is she the annoying possessive type?" One girl asked with a laugh. Kaname almost tripped, hearing a girl say that as she tried to push next to Sousuke. "You don't have a _stalker,_ do you?" Another girl asked.

Kaname couldn't believe it. The girl had the nerve to ask that when_ she_ was following Sousuke around.

"Wonder why she's walking like that?" A different girl said loudly. "Is she clumsy or something?"

Kaname started to growl.

"Why are you watching _her?"_ A demanding voice asked.

Kaname blushed, and then began to smile.

"I am not. Why would I wish to do that?" Souske's voice was flat and unwavering.

Kaname stopped and turned. She knew he might just be trying to divert attention away from his purpose.

_It didn't matter.  
_  
The rain. The lack of sleep. Those girls. That moron's lack of any interest. The lie. Everything.

It was enough already!

"Never _mind,_ Sousue." Kaname took a few steps and threw the collapsed umbrella at him.

She stomped through the puddles on her way home.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The salt shaker bounced off of the top of the refrigerator, joining a measuring cup, napkin holder, bottle of Soy Sauce, broken plate, sponge, set of tongs, and a number of oranges.

"Why would I wish to do that?" Kaname mimicked Sousuke.

She slammed her hand down hard on the cooking bench, just missing her chopping knife. Rain blew hard against her window, and a huge peel of thunder caused her to jump. The lights flickered a bit, but stabilized.

"Great, that's _all_ I need. To have the power go out." Not two minutes after she had said that, the electricity went out.

Kaname cursed, trying to remember where she had put her candles. Every time she went shopping for household items she swore that she would by a flashlight. She still didn't have a flashlight.

"Hall closet!" She remembered putting the candles in there. Now all she had to do was get there, grab a candle, find a match, and _voila_... light.

Walking through the dark, hand held out in front of her, she stepped on the bottle of Soy Sauce. Her foot went out from under her and she hit the floor hard.

"Damn you Sousuke!"

She should still be at dinner with him. There, or possible walking around the campus catching up on each of their years apart. Somewhere.

_Moron!  
_  
"Who's the moron?" Kaname sighed, rubbing her sore buttock.

Why did she always react that way to Sousuke? She remembered the day that he had brought her the jewelry she had made. All the girls were jealous. She couldn't believe that Sousuke could have made an effort like that. Then she went ballistic when he told them there was a practical purpose for it all.

She had told him that he made it really easy to hate him. Why would a guy show any interest in a girl who did things like _that? _Well, she had brought the food over to his house as a peace offering. But, that damn girl was there, in a towel. The big idiot had then gotten her kidnapped by terrorists... _again!  
_  
Of course, that wasn't the end of the story. He had rescued her. She could remember how she felt when she saw he was safe, thinking that her stupid actions may have gotten him killed.

"No sense moping around on the floor in the dark, Kaname." She picked herself up gingerly, stepping lightly so that she didn't trip on anything else.

Slowly inching herself along the wall, she wondered where Sousuke was now. Maybe one or more of those girls had finally worn him down. She couldn't figure out why those ditsy fools would be chasing after him. Hadn't they figured out how clueless he was? Maybe he wasn't like that any more.

_A lot can happen in three years.  
_  
"Well, if that big jerk likes that kind of girl, then he deserves what he gets! _Hmmmpppfff!"_ She banged her head hard on the closet door, forgetting that she had opened it.

For a few moments, she saw stars. It was almost like being near an explosion again. She sighed. It had been a while since she had been so 'privileged.' There was a reason she always felt uncomfortable at fireworks displays.

Finally, she had a candle in her hand. She rummaged around the rest of the closet, wondering why she hadn't put the matches near the candle. Of course, they were back in the kitchen. Why hadn't she remembered that when she was in that room? She was really tied up in knots. One useless idiot shows up back in her life, and she turns into a mindless klutz.

_Maybe it was best that she stayed away from Sousuke after all!_

It was spooky in the apartment. Boring too. There was no telling how long it would take work crews to bring the power back on. She might as well grab her umbrella and go some place where there was electricity.

Kaname sneezed.

"Wonderful. Now I'm coming down with a cold." Holding the candle, she headed back towards her foyer, intending to grab her coat.

She sneezed again, blowing out the candle. A moment later, a large flash of lightning lit things up. She caught her breath. The lightning hadn't frightened her. A man's figure had been outlined at her window. The shadow had been very tall. She didn't know anyone that tall. Was that just a trick of the light?

Her friends always scolded her about living alone. A number of them had gotten together to rent a house. Why hadn't Kaname joined them? She was a private person. But, right now she didn't want to be alone! No, she _DID_ want to be alone. She didn't want somebody standing outside of her home.

There was a knock at the door.

_What should she do?_

One of her friends would have called first.

There was more knocking. Louder and more persistent this time.

Kaname began reaching for her phone, but realized that it wouldn't be working now. There was no back way out of her apartment. She hadn't bothered to attach the security chain when she came home.

The knocking repeated.

"Kaname?"

That was Sousuke's voice! How did he know where she lived? _Idiot._ That otaku could find out anything, by himself or with the help of Mithril.

What should she do? Let him in? Tell him to go away and leave her alone? Stay quiet? The third option wasn't very good. She had told him she was in danger. He might have seen the candle before it went out. Any moment now, he might be kicking down the door or crashing through the window. If he cared enough to do that, of course.

"Sousuke? Is that you?"

"Affirmative!" Are you OK? Has something happened?" He sounded concerned.

_Concerned? That's a good thing, right.  
_  
"Wait a minute. I'll open the door for you. The power's out." Kaname made her way to the front door and opened it. The two of them stood face to face for a few moments before either spoke.

"I'm sorry, Sousuke. I shouldn't have reacted like that earlier. Seeing you was a bit of a shock. It hasn't been a very good week." The words just flowed out of Kaname. "Were you surprised to see me?"

"No."

"Why? Have you been following me around? Am I your assignment again? Your duty and obligation?" Anger crept into Kamame'voice.

"Negative. I have a different assignment. You have crossed my path on a number of occasions. Respecting your desires, I stayed out of your way."

The power came back on. Sousuke looked into the apartment, his attention drawn to the clutter on the kitchen floor. His eyes scanned Kaname as well. "There is a red mark on your forehead. The way you stand suggests that you are injured. You were never that messy before. Have you been attacked, Kaname?" Sousuke's voice had changed. His eyes were intense. He was furious, thinking that someone might have harmed her.

_Furious was good too._

"No, Sousuke. I was angry earlier, and didn't handle my temper very well. I fell in the dark, and banged my head on the closet door." Kaname stiffened her shoulders and decided to come clean. "I'm not really in any danger. I lied to you." She braced herself for his answer.

"I see. I suppose you had a reason for that." His eyes took her measure, reading her every facial expression and postural change.

"Yes, Sousuke. I wanted to speak with you. But those _girls_..." Kaname blushed. Her actions sounded so immature when she spoke about them out loud.

"Kaname?" Now he looked curious.

_Curious was OK_.

"I suppose I was impatient, Sousuke. I apologize." Kaname bowed. "It's... I... well, you show up out of the blue after three years, then just disappear." Kaname's anger flared up again. "Can you understand how that made me feel_?"_ She put her hands on her hips.

"No, Kaname. I cannot. Not after you never once answered my letters or spoke to me on the phone." Sousuke now looked stiff again.

_Stiff was not good_.

"But... you have to understand... it was hard..." Kaname felt like she was going to fly apart.

"Yes, it was hard for me too. No doubt you wanted me gone. Perhaps that is understandable." A tough of sadness entered Sousuke's features.

_Was sadness good or bad?  
_  
"Sousuke, I did **_not_** want you gone. You had to go. I was really..." Kaname tried to maintain her composure. It wouldn't do any good to break down into tears, or to kick Sousuke where a man should never be kicked.

A telephone rang. It was Sousuke's. Taking it out of his pocket, Sousuke flipped it open. "Sagara." He listened a while. "Understood." He listened a while longer. "Roger." He closed the phone and put it in his pocket. Looking over at Kaname, he said "I have to go."

As quickly as that, he was gone.


	3. Chapter 3

Her first period class was canceled for the day.

Kaname should have been happy. She wasn't. Another group of guys had pestered her to the point of distraction, but that wasn't the reason for her downtrodden state.

Nobody made the troublesome boys disappear or cry out for help. The tormentors she had been beset by on the previous day had no doubt run afoul of a young soldier's sense of justice, or his habit of protecting a certain blue-haired girl.

"Sousuke." Kaname was certain Sousuke had been responsible for the happenings in the quadrangle, at the track, and inside the library. The fact that he would do such things... but would not let her know that he was on campus... suggested a number of possibilities to her.

_Might still mean something to him?  
_  
"You're jumping to conclusions, girl." Kaname sighed. It was entirely possible that Sousuke was simply acting to protect someone under attack by a superior force. His actions might have merely beena result of his sense of justice.

He didn't show up today. Or, if he had, he didn't intervene. He probably wasn't spending his time watching her. Or, if he had been doing so, her actions the night before might have been the straw that broke the otaku's back.

Kaname wouldn't blame him. Standing at her doorway, listening to his words, she had felt as if someone had stabbed her in her heart. She had been very hurt when he was reassigned. She took it out on him, for her own good. She never really stopped to think about how he might have felt.

_"Can you understand how that made me feel?"_

"No, Kaname. I cannot. Not after you never once answered my letters or spoke to me on the phone."

"But... you have to understand... it was hard..."  
  
_"Yes, it was. No doubt you wanted me gone. Perhaps that is understandable."  
_  
She threw some bread scraps to the pigeons near her bench. The birds all rushed in to get their mouthfuls, scratching and flapping, pushing the other pigeons out of the way. It was every bird for his or herself.

That hadn't been the way Sousuke treated her in high school. He always put her first. Kaname realized that a lot of what he had done was the result of orders. But, she had to admit that he had come to care about her. That's what made his going away so hurtful for her. It's also what made her feel so down today.

He hadn't wanted to be reassigned. He had even gone so far as to open up to her before they returned to Tokyo. He had tried to call her and to write her.

"And what did I do?" Kaname felt a tightness in her chest.

It was hard to think about things this way. Why was she even bothering? There was no way to turn back the clock. What was done was done. Besides, what was her goal now? To wash away her own guilt? To try and make amends? Or to try and get Sousuke to feel about her the way he once did, and see where things might go from there?

_Did it matter?_

She was Kaname Chidori. She wore an albatross around her neck.

Even if she found that she could care about that big idiot again, what would happen? Maybe he wouldn't return her feelings, leaving her feeling worse than before. Or, maybe he would care, getting her hopes up. What sense did that make? She had no idea how long he had been assigned to Tokyo University, but missions end. When they are over, he moves on to the next one._  
_  
"Damn you Sousuke."

Why did she have to see him again?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Yes.

The sun was brighter.

Kaname was certain of it!_  
_  
Her friends had noticed that she seemed kind of down, so they treated her to lunch at one of her favorite restaurants. They all had tales of woe to tell, and laughed over each other's trials and tribulations with the opposite sex.

_Kaname no longer felt as if she were being singled out by Fate._

Life is hard at times. You just need to make it through such times, because life is wonderful, too. Friends. Good food. Laughter. A change of perspective._  
_  
She had spoken about Sousuke in the general sense, and it helped her come to terms with the things she had done. No one thought that she was a terrible person. It had been a tough situation. A number of her friends would have done the same thing. So, she wouldn't have to worry anymore about Sousuke today. What was the likelihood that she would even see him, given his talents and recent behavior?

Waving to a number of people leaving the previous class, Kaname took a seat near the front of the classroom. After taking a few moments to brush her hair, she took out her notepad and a new pre-sharpened pencil.

_This would be a great day for learning!_

When the entire roster of students had found their way into the room, the teacher stood up near his podium. "I hope you all had time to study sufficiently last night."

Kaname swallowed hard. Study?Oh No! There was an oral quiz scheduled for today. How could she have possibly forgotten that? She had written it down in three different places and had even posted a note on the refrigerator.

Sousuke. Damn him! It was all that jerk's fault…

"Today's questions will deal with Ecosystems and Biomes. I will call on each of you with randomly selected questions. You will have adequate time to answer, if your thoughts are presented in an organized and contemplative fashion. At the end of each question, additional students will be allowed the opportunity to provide correct answers for extra credit." The teacher began calling on students in alphabetic order.

Kaname's heart was pounding. She was a perfectionist, and knew she would not be able to do her best. She had been attentive in class, and had been diligent in her reading, so she should still have a good chance at a modicum of success.

"Kaname Chidori…"

"Uhhh... yes, Sir..." Kaname cringed. Her voice had cracked. She began to grow angry when she heard some chuckles behind her.

"Explain why there is a rainforest in Zaire and a desert in Algeria."

_What?_ Settle down, Kaname. Think! There are a number of things to consider. The angle of incidence of sunlight. Air temperature. Rising air masses. Falling air masses. Altitude temperature differences. Relative humidity.

Kaname mumbled her answer, thinking furiously. She couldn't even remember what she said.

_"Adequate,_ Miss Chidori. Not nearly up to your usual high standards, but adequate."

Kaname didn't know whether to feel upset or relieved. The whispers around her certainly were not helping her mood and state of concentration.

"Before I ask Miss Chidori her next question, does anyone have something constructive to add?" There was a pause. "Alright, Mr. Sagara. Since you are the only one with your hand up."

Kaname nearly fell out of her seat. Sousuke?He was in her class? She had never noticed that before. Damn that otaku and his talent for secrecy and concealment.

"It is_ not_ a problem. Miss Chidori's answer was admirable for someone in the midst of emotional turmoil." Sousuke's remark had the class murmuring.

Kaname clenched her teeth. She remembered all too well what it felt like to grasp a halisen firmly in her hand.

"Along the equator the sun is nearly directly overhead all the time. The angle of incidence of sunlight is nearly vertical so that the energy is high per unit area. The land surface absorbs this energy and re-radiates it as heat." Sousuke spoke in a strong and confident voice, not once glancing in Kaname's direction, despite mentioning her name previously. "When air is heated by the re-radiation of the sun's energy from the surface it expands, becomes less dense and rises. As it rises the pressure decreases in the upper atmosphere and the air cools further. As the air cools the relative humidity increases because cool air can hold less moisture than warm air. When relative humidity reaches 100 percent, clouds form and rain falls on the rain forest."

Sousuke paused. Nodding his head, he met the glances of the students around him, as if he had a particularly important point he wanted to get across.

"I have no doubt that Miss Chidori knew these things as well. Her inability to express her knowledge is unfortunate, but should not be held as an indication of less than normal intelligence. Appearances are often deceiving_."_ A number of boys who had felt Kaname's wrath in the past looked at each other and smiled. "When the air mass reaches the upper limits of the atmosphere it flows north and south and gets plunged downward about 30 degrees north or south when it meets other air masses flowing in the opposite direction. This descending air is dry partly because it has lost its moisture on the way up in the first place, but as it falls the pressure increases causing the temperature to increase. As the temperature increases it becomes even drier in terms of relative humidity. That sucks the air out of the ground, the plants, and the animals and you have a desert."

"Excellent answer, Mr. Sagara. The textbook did not describe things in that much detail. I look forward to hearing you answer your own questions later." The teacher coughed, and then took a drink of water. "Miss Chidori, your second question."

Kaname was so furious, she was almost in no condition to answer a simple 'yes or no' type question, much less the kind of exacting questions the teacher wasx apt to ask. She was barely able to speak. Sousuke's commentary had her trembling with rage.

"As a result of the fires, the vegetation of a forest is burned to varying degrees in different parts of the forest. In some areas the trees and undergrowth were destroyed. In other areas only the undergrowth was burned, leaving the larger trees intact. In most places the soil was NOT destroyed by the fire. Taking that into consideration, and being told that over a period of years we would expect the vegetation to return to the area affected by the fire and re-establish a forest similar to that in nearby areas not affected by the fire, I would like you to comment on the following two issues: (a). Describe the physical environment at the surface of the soil a week or so after the fire was extinguished; and (b). How will pioneer plants change the physical environment during the first stage of succession so that the pioneer plant species are eventually replaced by other species?"

"Great!" Kaname blurted out, realizing that she had verbalized her thought. She had also brought her hand down on the table with tremendous force, snapping her pencil and sending her note pad to the floor.

_"Miss Chidori!"_ The teacher was aghast.

"Teacher, Miss Chidori will gain control of herself after her moment of impractical emotion subsides. She is extremely competent under stressful situations. Few people would be as effective." Sousuke scowled when the students around him made comments that Kaname couldn't hear.

The young soldier's support did not inspire any feelings of gratitude in Kaname at that moment. Trying to pull herself together, she haltingly gave her answers.

"Adequate again, Miss Chidori. I will say that your behavior is out of place in the classroom. If you have issues to work through, I ask that you bring them to the Student Councilor." The teacher looked around the room again. He waited a bit.

Kaname wanted to crawl into some dark cave and hibernate there for a while. Afterwards, she would want to come out with renewed strength and determination, so that she could tear Sousuke into little pieces.

_How could things get any worse?_

"Seeing that no one else wishes to answer, go ahead Mr. Sagara."

Ooooooh! That does it. If that moron trumped her again...

"I shall refrain from commenting on Miss Chidori again, as it seems to adversely affect her state of mind." Sousuke stood to give his answer.

"What _doesn't?"_ One disappointed suitor asked, causing the class to break out in laughter, despite the teacher's great displeasure.

Sousuke simply turned and stared at the young man who made the quip. The boy stopped laughing, swallowed, and sat down quickly. That look from Sousuke had said more than words ever could.

Kaname's heart skipped a beat. Sousuke was defending her. Why?

"Having heard a pathetic attempt at humor, I shall now give my answer."

Kaname smiled despite herself, looking at the quivering boy and saying _"Hmmmppphhh!"_ That idiot was doing it again. One minute she wanted to launch him from a steam catapult without an ArmSlave, and the next she just wanted to... to...

"As Miss Chidori noted, the vegetation would be gone, leaving a charred soil surface. When the sun shines it is very hot. When it is dark the soil cools rapidly. When it does not rain the soil becomes very dry. Also, when it rains the soil is quickly saturated and erosion washes away the soil. Environmental conditions are harsh and variable. _Much like the life that some people are_ _forced to live."_ Sousuke ran his hand through his hair.

He looked down at his shoes, and his voice thickened momentarily.

"One thing is worth remembering. The only thing constant is change_."_ Sousuke cleared his throat. "The seeds or roots of pioneer plants left in the soil start to sprout and send out roots through the soil... the harsh conditions are actually necessary for these particular plants to start growing and become established. Plants and their roots soften the fall of rain drops and keep the soil from washing away. The plants and leaf litter retain moisture in the soil. The shade of the plants cools the soil and slows the germination of seeds that require light. The plants extract water from the soil and evaporate it into the air, increasing humidity. If that is not sufficient, I could continue."

The girls who Kaname had seen before were sitting a row in front of Sousuke. It looked like they were about to swoon. One of them smiled up at Sousuke, but he didn't appear to take any notice of her.

"Continue, Mr. Sagara. Your response has been very instructive so far." The teacher took another drink of water.

"As Miss Chidori cleverly noted in her answer..."

Kaname sat frozen hearing that. Why did she feel like she was turning red again? She was busy hating that big jerk! Wasn't she?_  
_  
"...The seeds of the pioneer plants require the wide open, harsh conditions of the charred forest floor to germinate and become established. Their seeds can not germinate in conditions where other plants have already become established. However, the seeds of the following community in the succession require the conditions produced by the pioneer plants to germinate and become established. Then they will also go on to change the environment in different ways. And so on and so on until you get a climax community established that can remain fairly stable until the next disturbance."

At first, it seemed as if Sousuke had finished his answer. The teacher began scanning the student list to find the next person to examine. But, the young operative began spealking again. "There will always be another disturbance. The successional process will start all over again. There is never really an end." Sousuke added his final thought in a somewhat downcast voice.

Kaname felt tears coming to her eyes. She had no doubt that Sousuke was looking at his own life in those same terms, in part because of the fact that he went from mission to mission, never really have a chance to put down roots. But also, for him, Afghanistan had been scorched earth. Only in that environment could the person that Sousuke was now have taken root. Successive changes did not wipe him out, but they did serve to make him who he was today.

Just who _was_ he today?How did he differ from the boy she last knew three years ago? Had he simply grown older? Did removing him from the environment of Jindai High School and students his own age stop the process that had started?

"Excellent again, Mr. Sagara. I will ask that you refrain from answering any other questions, except for your own later on. You have earned the maximum amount of extra credit."

The other students were called on in succession. When the teacher came around to Sousuke, he correctly described how and why the climate of Champaign-Urbana would change if the tilt of the earth were changed from 23.5 degrees to 45 degrees, and then explained why matter is considered to cycle in an ecosystem while energy flows through an ecosystem. When he was finished, he asked if he might be excused from class. The teacher gave him permission.

Kaname watched him go with mixed feelings. Was he simply being the same efficient machine he was before... off to clean his weapons... check in with base... or go on some kind of guard duty? Or, did thinking about his life in the same terms of the ecosystem hurt him in ways he might not have been able to be hurt before?

She squeezed her eyes shut hard and told herself that it didn't matter. Her curiosity would get her into nothing but trouble. Wasn't it enough to have had her heart broken once before by that moody military maniac? Why risk falling into the same trap again?

What could she do to help get him off of her mind?Maybe she just needed to go on a date with someone new.

Who knows? She might find someone right, this time.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kaname was somewhat on edge.

It was a week after her decision to take another chance at dating.

She had finally agreed to go on a date with a goalie from the soccer team. He was ruggedly handsome, if somewhat arrogant, and good bit less than scholarly.

Throughout the school year, he had been rather persistent, and Kaname thought that she might want to date someone different than she usually did. A number of her friends cautioned her against that boy, having heard less than complimentary things about him. Others were jealous, wishing that he would ask them out.

"It's only a date, girl. Calm down. It's not like this is an arranged marriage or anything."

Applying her lipstick, Kaname wondered about her motives. Was this just some way to try and get someone else off her mind someone she didn't want to think about at that moment? Would that be fair to her date? Could she expect to have a good time that way?_  
_  
_There was only one way to find out._

She had fallen into a rut lately, and needed to find some way out. When her date arrived, things had started off fairly well. He well well-dressed, nicely groomed, and had arrived with an impressive bouquet of flowers. He had tried to sneak a feel early on, but she had no trouble getting around that. It was almost heart-warming in a way. It was nice to feel wanted. At least in some fashion...

Kaname wasn't into cars, but the boy's BMW was an impressive machine. Likewise, she didn't care much for the noisy bar scene, but her date had chosen a particularly fun night club. After a few drinks, she actually found herself having a good time. It wasn't because of her date... she didn't find herself connecting with him at all. It was nice she was nice to be out, instead of being shut away in the library or her apartment.

As the time passed, the excitement began to wear off and she found herself growing somewhat uncomfortable with the situation. Her date had met up with a large number of his buddies, most from the rugby and baseball squads. None of them had brought dates along.Some of them were people she had run ins with in the past.

But, inexplicably, Kaname found herself growing less concerned, oblivious to any possible problem. In fact, she couldn't ever remember feeling that mellow or detached from her surroundings. Was she falling asleep? That might explain the glimpse she thought she had of Sousuke there, being pulled along by those girls. That could only be a dream, right?

Time seemed to rush ahead. Kaname knew that things must have happened, but she couldn't remember them. Why was she outside, in the dark? Why was her arm somewhat sore? Hadn't she been on a date?_  
_  
_What was going on?_

"You will be OK, Kaname."

That was Sousuke's voice! Was she still in the middle of some dream?

"Sousuke? What? _Where?"_ Kaname grimaced, banging her head on a low hanging tree branch when she tried to stand up.

There was the sound of moaning in the dark. Further away, she could hear the sound of police sirens. Night birds called out sporadically.

"By chance, I was at the same club as you. The arrangement did not seem entirely proper to me. I performed surveillance to confirm or discredit my concerns. _Here._ Drink some water. It's from the fountain, so it may not have a pleasing taste. Do not drink too much. You will not wish to dilute your urine sample." Sousuke held a cup of water up to Kaname's lips.

Kaname drank sparingly. "Please, Sousuke. I don't understand." She felt frightened. Could he be talking about some kind of plot, related to her being Whispered? What had happened to her date? Had he been caught in the middle of some terrorist activity?

"The boy with you poured a small phial of liquid into your drink. I cannot imagine any ethicalreason for him to do that, given that you were looking in a different direction. In recent years a new kind of threat has reared its ugly head at parties, on campuses, and in nightclubs... the called "predator" or "date rape" drugs. If you are not aware of them, you should be. You are responsible for your own safety_."_ Sousuke almost sounded disapproving.

"Date rape drugs. But, Sousuke... did they..." Kaname brought her hand to her mouth.

"Date rape drugs, technically speaking, can be _any_ substance that renders you incapable of saying no or asserting yourself and your needs. This can include things like alcohol; marijuana; other street drugs; designer drugs like ecstasy; over-the-counter sleeping pills and antihistamines; even cold medications. However, the term "date rape drug" usually applies to the drugs Rohypnol, Gamma Hydroxy Butyrate, and Ketamine Hydrochloride_."_ Souske's voice went from neutral to fierce in the beat of a heart. "They did **_not_** have opportunity to harm you, Kaname."

"Sousuke?" Kaname felt dizzy. Not just from whatever drug she had been given, but from the magnitude of the situation."What happened?" She was scared. She put her hand out and touched Sousuke, needing to know there was someone familiar nearby.

"I know that you did not wish to know me any longer, Kaname. That did not mean..." Sousuke stopped. He was silent a moment. "I saw what the boy did. I took note of your change in mental status. When you left with the group of them, I followed, easily eluding the girls who coerced me into going to the club. The words that the perpetrators spoke to one another did not leave anyroom for misunderstanding." There was steel in Sousuke's voice. To Kaname, the sound was exciting and frightening at the same time.

"I didn't taste anything Sousuke. I didn't even notice any major change at first." Kaname was in denial. She didn't want to believe what happened had happened. She couldn't bring herself to believe that something worse had come close to happening.

"Kaname, the drugs are virtually undetectable. They are tasteless, odorless and colorless. All traces of the drugs will leave the body within 72 hours of ingestion and are not found in any routine toxicology screen or blood test... doctors and police have to be looking specifically for them and they have to look quickly. _That_ is how we will aid them in their search tonight. The sirens are growing louder. The police should be hear soon. I have their conversation on tape. You test results will be crucial."

"But..." Kaname's voice quivered, "This isn't really true _is it_ Sousuke? This didn't really happen. You're not over-reacting like you used to do, _are you?_ Maybe I feel this way because I drank too much."

"Those kind of drugs are easily slipped into drinks and food and are very fast acting. They render the victim unconscious but responsive with little or no memory of what happens while the drug is active in their system. The drugs also make the victim act without inhibition, often in a sexual or physically affectionate way. Like most drugs, date rape drugs render a person incapable of thinking clearly or of making appropriate decision. Victims are poor witnesses in a legal sense. They are also difficult to interrogate in my line of work." Sousuke reached his hand out to touch Kaname's shadowy face. "I'm sorry, Kaname. You should be safe from those boys in the future. I doubt they will act that way again."_  
_  
Kaname put her hand on Sousuke's. "What happened to them..."

"I did not show good school spirit, Kaname. A number of sports clubs will not be able to hold up the honor of our institution this year." Sousuke almost sounded self-satisfied. Kaname never remembered hearing anything like that in his voice before.

_What else new was there?  
_  
"Sousuke!" Kaname felt some of her spirit return to her then. "You didn't answer my question."

"They were _not_ Specialists, Kaname. They should not have gone up against one. They should not have tried to harm you." Sousuke's last words were said in a near whisper.

"Sousuke?" Kaname's heart was beating fast again for some reason. The young soldier didn't answer. "Sousuke, are you OK? And why does my arm hurt?" Kaname noticed a bandage on her arm.

"I am still able to walk, Kaname. I believe my shirt is torn. That is a problem. Iliked that shirt. My portable med kit contains a syringe and some tubes. I took a venous blood sample in case the hospital might prove to be in cahoots with any of the perpetrators." Sousuke sounded proud of himself. That might be new too, but as far as Kaname was concerned, it was inappropriate.

"_You_ took my blood? You're **_not _**a doctor, Sousuke. You... _you_..." Kaname's voice was rising in pitch.

"Is this the time when you will strike me, Kaname? If so, I suggest you swing straight ahead. Otherwise, you may injure yourself on a tree branch or the brick from the fountain." Sousuke didn't sound like he was joking.

"No... uhhh... I was not going to... well... hit you or anything." Kaname felt embarrassed. She had been just about to whallop Sousuke something good.

"I see. Then you have matured admirably in _other_ ways too." 

"Other ways? How have I matured admirably, Sousuke?" Even in that serious situation, Kaname sensed the potential for getting Sousuke to admit something choice. She wanted him to answer. Sousuke remained quiet. "Sousuke, _what_ other ways?" Kaname felt on familiar ground again. It was just what she needed at that moment.

"I believe the police will be arriving any moment. Let me help you here." Sousuke put his arm around Kaname's waist.

Kaname swallowed hard for a moment. The arm around her waist had her weak in the knees. No. It must be a side effect of the drug."Thank you Sousuke. I appreciate everything you did for me. There is one more thing I need, though." Kaname smiled. Sousuke couldn't hear a smile, and it was too dark for him to notice.

"I will do what I can to help, Kaname."

"Good. So, what other ways have I matured, Sousuke?"

"Uhhh..."

The answer would have to wait. A number of police vehicles pulled up, and Sousuke took Kaname over to speak with the arriving officers.

At the hospital, Kaname gave a number of samples, and both she and Sousuke told the police everything they knew. When they had all done what needed to be done, Kaname went to use the restroom.

When she came out, Sousuke was gone.


	4. Chapter 4

Kaname stayed with a group of her friends overnight.

She was still frightened. Everything began to sink in as the drugs wore off. She couldn't help but think what could have happened. No. What _would_ have happened.

_If it hadn't been for Sousuke._

For a while there, she wondered if she would ever truly be safe again. She remembered what Sousuke had said. 'You should be safe from those boys in the future. I doubt they will act that way again.' Maybe so. But how could she be sure that the next guy she went out with might not do something similar? How!

Each of her friends took times talking with her, trying to make her feel better. They suggested that she see someone on the University staff that dealt with such matters, but couldn't convince her to do so.

'They did not have opportunity to harm you, Kaname',her rescuer had said. Kaname thought back to the past. There had been many times when Sousuke had stood by her and kept her safe. There had also been numerous instances when they had been separated and he had come to rescue her.

One part of her mind clamored for attention.

Why didn't she just admit to herself how she felt about him? Why didn't she let herself go? Life's a journey, not a destination, right? Shouldn't she take a chance... put her heart at risk... in hopes that she could find something special, no matter how long it lasted?

Another part of her mind didn't want to listen.

She had opened up before. Unknowingly, she had begun to take down the walls around her heart for that clueless otaku. Look what happened t because of _that!_ There was no way she could forget how she felt when Sousuke told her he would be going away.

He could have made a stand for her, right? Of course not!Who was she trying to fool? She had never professed her feelings. Even if she had been able to do so, what would that mindless military marionette have done? What other life did he have?

_What else did he know?  
_  
If they said 'Sit Sousuke,' he would sit. If they said 'Jump Sergeant,' he would say 'Not a problem.' 'If they said 'Run to your death Soldier,' he would run. If they said 'Leave the girl now,' he would say 'Goodbye Kaname.'

Didn't he say it himself? 'You are responsible for your own safety.' She couldn't always be looking for Sousuke to save her. She needed to find the strength within herself. She needed something that she could always depend on.

But, that was not the only issue. It was not just about having someone around to save her. She thought about that night in that park. She had put her hand out and touched Sousuke, needing to know there was someone familiar nearby. She remembered how she felt when he was there.

He had sounded self-satisfied when he spoke about the way he had punished her would be attackers. Did that mean he cared about her? Yes. He must. 'They should not have tried to harm you,' he had said in a near whisper. What more evidence did she need?

Kaname smiled briefly. That big idiot. He had avoided her questions after she had tried to pin him down. 'You have matured admirably in other ways too,' he had said. Was he talking about the way she looked, the way she had filled out? Did he notice those things now?_  
_  
Her smile vanished. If he did take notice of womanly attributes, then he might well take way too much notice of that group of harpies that flew around him. If that big jerk was happy having a harem...

"Damn you Souske."

"Kaname? Did you say something?" One of her friends walked over to check on her.

"No. Thanks. I'm OK. I was just thinking out loud."

She shouldn't let her thoughts run too far ahead of her. Sousuke had been out of her life for three years. Who knows what might have happened. There was no way for her to know who he might have in his life.

_Unless she asked him._

"Sure!" Kaname blushed when her friends looked over at her. She had out loud again.

Sure. She could ask Sousuke about his personal life. Who knows, he might even deem to answer her. But was there really a good to care about such things? When she came out of the Ladies Room at the hospital, he had been gone. Wasn't that a clear indication that he didn't have the types of feelings for her that she might want?

_Probably!  
_  
Unless it meant that he had those kinds of feelings, but was afraid that she didn't.

Oh...

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

What a difference a good sleep makes.

Sleep, and a burning question.

Kaname wanted to know how Sousuke might feel about her. No. She _needed_ to know. One way or the other. As soon as possible.She couldn't possibly have any lasting peace until she found out.

Why did she feel so good, then? She had a goal! All she needed was the right opportunity. What should she do, though? She could simply walk up to him, tell him that she had really cared about him back in high school, and admit that she wanted to know if he had any feelings left for her.

Right! That would probably work with just about every guy alive. That automatically made the plan suspect when it came to Sousuke. Didn't it?

First, she needed to corner him some how. That might prove difficult. She was dealing with a Specialist. She would check the registrar and see if they would give out his address and telephone number. That would be simple enough.

It might also be possible to find out what classes he had. If the school officials wouldn't give out that kind of information, she could simply follow him at a distance. She could afford to arrive late at a class or two, if she learned something.

Once she knew what classes he was taking and when, she could place herself at strategic locations. Sooner or later, she would get him to talk with her. She was sure of it.

She could think of this as a game. A competition. A challenge.

Kaname Chidori hates to lose._  
_  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

No matter where Kaname looked, she couldn't find Sousuke.

That did not mean that everybody else couldn't find _her._ A fair number of girls came up to her and wished her well. They had heard what she had gone through. Many of them had carried around fear of just that type of event. . For others, it was a real eye opener.

Some of the well-wishers wanted to know who her rescuer was, not having heard any word of his identity. Kaname told them that his name had to be kept confidential for legal purposes. It wasn't true. She scolded herself for the illogical stabs of jealousy that she felt.

_She didn't have any reason to feel that way.  
_  
One girl told the others that they should keep trying to finds out who the hero was. "That kind of guy should be on everyone's wish list. I know he's on _mine!"_ Kaname had to fight the urge to strangle that tart!

Not everybody was kind or concerned. A number of boys from various sports teams had made it a point to glare at her or mutter angrily when ever she passed them by. It had Kaname feeling uncomfortable, wondering if she had to fear some kind of retribution in the future.

That understandable fear gave way to anger. She had been the one who had come close to being violated, but those jerks looked at her as if _she_ were the source of the problem. That group loyalty and guy stuff was asinine!

A few boys went so far as to voice their displeasure. "Good job. Thanks to you, we won't have much of a chance in the regionals this year. You shouldn't have gone out with them if you didn't know the score. Now a bunch of good guys are in trouble with the law." That guy's buddies all nodded their heads.

Kaname saw red. "They wouldn't have any trouble with the law if they weren't guilty!You pathetic losers can't stand up on your own and speak up for what is right, _can _you? With that kind of attitude, I hope that every girl on this campus should stay a mile or more away from each of you." He put her hands on her hips, focusing on the boy who spoke up. "No doubt your mother would be really proud. Why don't you give _her_ a call and tell her what you just said!"

The girls who overheard her called out encouragement. The looks that they turned on that small group of guys was unmistakable. The boys' names were passed amongst the women at the university. The word would spread.

"I wouldn't look to cause any more trouble if I were you_,"_ one boy said. "Your name is tops on a lot of shit lists now!"

"I didn't cause any trouble." Kaname practically bit off each word. "I simply went out on date with someone who asked me out." Kaname's anger triggered her mischievous side. "Besides, the real thanks goes to the guy who had the courage stand up for what was right. I doubt _his_ attitude is going to change any. It sounds like those jerks wouldn't have been able to play again this year, even if the charges _were_ overturned. He took them down pretty hard." She grinned. "Want to meet him?"

The guys made it a point to walk away after that. Even after they were gone, it took a while for Kaname to cool back down. Sitting on a concrete fence with a group of girls, sipping fruit juice, she thought about Sousuke.

She definitely needed to find some way to thank him.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was time for class.

Since Sousuke was in the other Biology course she had, his block of classes might have this one as well. She would choose her seating based on its value as a vantage point.

"This ought to do just fine," she said to herself, taking off her coat and arranging her books and note paper. When the class began, Kaname was disappointed. Seat by seat, person by person, she looked over each individual in the class. No Sousuke.

_Those damn girls were there, but no otaku._

The teacher had begun to draw a diagram of the plasma membrane of a pancreatic cell on the chalk board. At that moment, Sousuke ran in, a large bag over his shoulder. Kaname immediately perked up, happy to see him.

The bag was rather large for a book bag. Were there weapons in there? She smiled. It would be fun to spill open that bag in front of the teacher.Not that she would ever do such a thing.

She forced herself to pay attention.

"Ahhhh.Mr. Sagara. The only one who wasn't present for roll-call. Why don't you find a seat, place you belongings there, and join me at the blackboard." The teacher pushed her glasses up on her nose.

Kaname swallowed. That woman looked too much like Cmdr. Mardukas for her liking. Given Sousuke's sudden twitchiness, Kaname figured that he might have made a similar connection himself. _Good!_ He deserved to sweat some.

"Affirmative, mam!" Sousuke's response had the teacher scowling and the class chuckling.

"Here, Sousuke." One girl waved and pointed at a seat near her. "No, I saved you a spot next to _me_." Another girl held up a lunch bag. Kaname growled. _Dirty_ _pool!_ "Sous-kayyyyyy..." A third girl had unbuttoned her top button. Kaname would remember _that_ slut.

_For a moment, Kaname had to fight the urge to call out herself._

"Teacher!" Sousuke walked up front, and then snapped to attention.

The teacher just shook her head, wondering if the young man was making fun of her, or was just unbelievably polite. "Have you done the assigned reading, young man? It was listed on the board along with the books needed for this class."

"I have, mam. What is my mission?" Sousuke cringed slightly. "What is it that you would like me to do?"

Kaname took notice. Sure, he had done the military thing again, but he had actually caught himself. What did that mean?Again, she found herself obsessed with the desire to learn how he had changed.

"I would like you to take over the drawing of that cell. To speed things along, you may choose a partner from the other students, someone you think you can work well with. As you each add a structure, I expect you to explain its function to the rest of the class."

Sousuke began looking around the room. Kaname started blushing. Sousuke would no doubt choose her. They had been a very good team once upon a time. It might also give her a way to latch onto him as a result!

Methodically, Sousuke scanned the room. For a few moments, he had been looking directly at her. "You may select my partner, teacher." Sousuke walked over and picked up a piece of chalk. The girls who had been hounding him all started waving to the teacher. Much to their displeasure, a pimply-faced young man from the front row was selected.

"The back-bone of an animal cell membrane consists of two layers of phospholipid molecules with the hydrophobic arms of the molecule making up the interior of the membrane and the hydrophilic heads making up the two exterior surfaces of the membrane." Sousuke drew as he spoke.

"Backbone? I doubt he even _has_ one." Kaname groused loud enough for one of the guys in front of her to change seats. "And if he does, I should snap it like a twig." A pair of girls moved as well.

That big jerk should have chosen her!Calm down, Kaname. View it as a challenge. Remember?

"Transport proteins allow for the passage of compounds into and out of the cell, while receptor proteins serve as communication devices for the cell." the other boy added the necessary structures.

"I knew that," Kaname muttered.

"Passive transport proteins transport small molecules or ions that do not require energy to enter the cell, but can not pass through the phospholipid bilayer. Passive transport of water, oxygen, and CO2 across the cell membrane, depends on the concentrations of these materials on either side of the membrane." Sousuke drew a number of arrows. "Movement is from a higher concentration to a lower concentration. Passive movement may be through the phospholipid bilayer for fat-soluble molecules or through protein molecules for others."

"There is such a thing as being _too_ passive," Kaname said. If Sousuke still cared for her, he should be man enough to say something. "Damn you, Sousuke." Kaname spoke too loudly that time. A few other people changed their seats. One went clear across the classroom. That had the teacher frowning, wondering just what was going on.

"Active transport proteins facilitate the movement of large molecules or charged ions across membranes against a concentration gradient ... from an area of low concentration to an area of high concentration. This type of transport protein requires energy in the form of ATP. Active transport of larger molecules or charged ions moving against a concentration gradient requires the expenditure of energy in the form of ATP in conjunction with special membrane proteins." The other student sketched the necessary directional indicators.

"Looks like I may have to work against a Sousuke gradient. It is not a problem. I have plenty of energy." Kaname scowled. Kaname used to feel a certain thrill when she was given a new task by the President of the Jindai Student Council. She began to feel a little like that now.

"Hormone receptor proteins have specific shapes and chemical properties that allow them to bind to specific types of hormone molecules in the environment of the cell. Receptor proteins in the outer cell membrane interact with molecules outside the cell. Receptor proteins in the interior membranes of the cell interact with molecules already in the cell." Sousuke spoke confidently.

"Uh huh. Hormone receptors. Do we even know if you have such things, Sergeant?" Kaname smiled. It certainly _might _be fun to find out.

"That's very good, you two. Young man, you may take your seat now." The teacher sent the other boy to his seat. She looked at Sousuke favorably. "Perhaps we may make a teacher out of you young man. No doubt your talents lie in that direction."

Kaname began coughing. She had come close to choking after hearing that.

"It seems I have located your next helper. Do you need a glass of water... Miss Chidori, was it?" The teacher waved her hand over towards a water cooler. "Why don't you join Mr. Sagara for the next part of today's lesson…"

As Kaname walked down the stairs, she noticed the black look those girls were giving her. She smiled in return, lifting her nose in the air.

_Too bad, ladies!  
_  
Not paying attention, Kaname tripped over an umbrella someone had left in the aisle. She started to fall. She never hit the floor. Sousuke had moved ever so swiftly, catching her. Kaname's instincts took over. She whispered. "You're my hero."

Sousuke dropped her.

"My apologies, Miss Chidori." Sousuke looked away from her. The entire class was laughing loudly. The girls were applauding.

"Don't... _mention_... it..." Kaname had acted out of instinct again.

Damn! Sousuke's face had hardened considerably.

"Cholecystokinin is a human protein that is secreted by the cells of your small intestine, when there are undigested food compounds passed on from your stomach." The teacher flipped a switch, turning on a digital projector. A finely detailed artist's rendition of a pancreatic cell was shown on a large screen.

Sousuke stared up at the image. Kaname stared at him.

"The cholecystokinin is secreted from cells in your small intestine into your bloodstream and finds its way to the surface of cells in your pancreas. There it acts as a hormone that combines with cholecystokinin hormone receptor proteins on the surface of the pancreas cells and signals your pancreas to secrete more digestive enzymes into your small intestine." The teacher used a laser pointer to highlight significant cellular structures. "Mr. Sagara... Miss Chidori... I would like you to describe and diagram the production and secretion of the cholecystokinin protein by the cells of your small intestine." The teacher stepped aside.

Kaname stepped up and took the lead, pulling the chalk out of Sousuke's grasp, letting her hand rest on his for a brief moment.

"DNA containing the information for the production of cholecystokinin... which I will call CCK... is stored in the nucleus of all cells of your body. As a reaction to the presence of food transferred to the small intestine from your stomach, the cells lining your small intestine initiate the transcription of the information of CCK DNA...or gene... to produce messenger RNA." She had said that in a very loud voice.

In a voice that only Sousuke could hear, she added "I want to thank you for saving me the other night, Sousuke. You really _are_ my hero."  
_  
That ought to be an effective peace offering, and let him know that she was grateful for him._

"The mRNA then travels out of the nucleus into the cytoplasm, where the mRNA information is translated to form raw CCK protein on a ribosome which becomes attached to the rough endoplasmic reticulum." Sousuke adeptly picked up the discussion and carried it further. "The mRNA instructs the ribosome to put together the proper sequence of amino acids to produce the initial CCK protein."

He replied quietly to Kaname's remark. "You do not need to thank me for doing the right thing, Kaname. I would not wish to see any woman suffer in that fashion."

Kaname almost bit her tongue. That stupid head! Honestly!

"The new CCK protein enters the membrane spaces of the endoplasmic reticulum and is further chemically processed by enzymes and packaged into small vesicles by the endoplasmic reticulum. We should label them henceforth as ER." Kaname had sounded somewhat angry saying that. She admonished herself. She did not need the teacher of her classmates to think she was some kind of head case or lunatic.

"But Sousuke, I was glad that it was _you_ who rescued me. I wouldn't have wanted any oneelse to be by my side." Kaname smiled. Perhaps that was laying things on a bit thick, but even Sousuke ought to start understanding that she was sending him a message.

"The ER vesicles move to and join with the membranes of a Golgi apparatus. In the Golgi apparatus the CCK protein is further processed by other enzymes to produce its final form and then packaged in a vesicle formed by the Golgi body." Sousuke took some colored chalk and highlighted the pertinent cellular component.

"That is understandable. You have prior knowledge of my skills as a Specialist. Having me there would assure success. My apologies if such a fact brought up memories you do not wish to recall.

Kaname stamped her foot. The teacher looked somewhat taken aback.

"_Oooooooooh_... the Golgi vesicle moves to and fuses with the cell membrane secreting the completed CCK protein from the cell into capillaries of the circulatory system. That... carries... the hormone... to all of... the cells of... your body." Kaname's growing ire affected her speech.

"You misconstruing military moron! I'm trying to say that I want to explore those memories... with _you."_

"The hormone interacts with receptor proteins on the surface of the cells of your pancreas." Sousuke blinked repeatedly. Then, his jaw tightened some.

"You were often kind to me, prior to..." Sosuke stopped for a moment. "No doubt you are trying to make me feel better for intruding on your personal life again. I will make certain it is not a problem. You have my word on that."

Kaname began trembling. That total... incomprehensible... insufferable...

"Idiot! Moron! _Jerk!" _Kaname bit her lip. That had come out way too loud._ "_The interaction signals your pancreas to secrete more digestive enzymes into your small intestine. Cells not having the CCK receptor protein do not react to the hormone. In essence, the CCK hormone activates more protein synthesis in pancreas cells which proceeds as just described before."

The entire class went dead quiet, and then exploded with countless conversations.

Sousuke looked over at Kaname. "It would seem that those words explain it all, Miss Chidori. I will say however, that you did an excellent job in describing the cellular actions and interactions. That was most commendable."

With that the young soldier walked his seat. The teacher took over after that, sparing a dark look for a certain blue-haired girl returning to her chair with a red face. After the lecture ended, Kaname tried to make her way to Sousuke to offer him an explanation.

He simply vanished, as he was apt to do.


	5. Chapter 5

"It's driving me crazy!" Kaname confided in her friend.  
  
"I see. Is that why your menu is in two pieces, now?" Her friend shook her head, mystified at the Kaname in front of her. She refrained from saying anything about the broken plate.  
  
_"What?"_ Kaname looked down at her hands. She blushed. The restaurant manager wouldn't be so forgiving a third time.  
  
"This isn't really like you, Kaname. Even when you were chasing after that one guy for a while. This Sousuke must mean an _awful lot_ to you." Her friend reached over to a nearby table and grabbed an intact menu.  
  
"Well... I... ummmm... I wouldn't go that far. He meant a lot to me once. Then he up and left me. Just like that." Kaname's face gave her away. There was obviously more to the story.  
  
"Really? So you're saying he dumped you? Never tried _once_ to get in touch with you again?" Her friend had a shrewd look on her face. Too shrewd for Kaname's liking.  
  
Kaname began wondering? Who had she talked to Sousuke about in nonspecific terms in the past? She couldn't remember.  
  
"It... no... not like that. He had to leave. I... I don't think he wanted to... and...." Kaname cursed herself. She wasn't a teenager any more. What was wrong with her.  
  
"You were hurt a lot more than you ever might have expected. Because of that you never wanted to hear from him again, since you thought it would only hurt you more." Her friend looked up at the waiter and gave him her order.  
  
Kaname followed suit. She frowned. No doubt she had told this friend about Sousuke back when the pain was still strong.  
  
"Yes... but I had a good reason for that... he... I... _Damn him_..." Kaname slammed her fist down. A salt shaker jumped up, rolled on its side, fell off the table, and hit the floor with a disturbing tinkling of broken glass.  
  
"I think it must be pretty obvious why he's avoiding you. You have tried to see things from his side, haven't you?" Her friend placed a new salt shaker on the table... out of Kaname's reach.  
  
"Of course. I'm not a _total_ moron!" Kaname hung her head a moment, sorry that she had lost her temper some. "Sorry. I've thought about it some. But, there are so many possible reasons for the way he's behaving. He could hate me. He could care about me, but be afraid of being hurt again. He could have any number of girlfriends."  
  
"Is he the guy who saved you in the park?" Her friend raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Y-Y-_Yes_...." Kaname still felt uncomfortable thinking about that whole episode.  
  
"Would he do that if he hated you?" Her friend tapped her nail against the table top, her eyes watching Kaname's face.  
  
"He might. He's so damn _noble_ sometimes. Then, he's so damn clueless the next! _Hmmppff!"_ Kaname brought another hand down hard.  
  
"Ahhhh...." Her friend caught the Sesame Oil bottle just as it teetered on the edge. "I can see where that would be frustrating. Do you have any reason to think he hates you? What did he say in class when you tried to talk with him? How did you bring up the subject?"  
  
"Well, I spelled it out pretty plain for him, the big jerk. _'I'm trying to say that I want to explore_ _those memories... with you.'_ I would think that's pretty straight forward!" Kaname looked like she was growing angrier.  
  
"Kaname. Please don't break anything _else_." Her friends voice was stern. "Now, what did he say?"  
  
Well... errrr... he started off by saying _'You were often kind to me, prior to....'_ and just left it hanging a moment." Kaname's face fell.  
  
"Prior to your total abandonment of him?" Her friend had a piercing gaze.  
  
"_**He**_ left _**me**!"_ Kaname said in a bit of a huff.  
  
"Because he didn't have any choice. Right. After that, you had a choice. _Hmmmmm?"_ Her friend rested her chin on both hands.  
  
Kaname sighed. Aki was so sharp. But, that's why she had invited her to dinner. She could pull anything out of Kaname. No one else could ever come close.  
  
"You're right. At the time, it was what I felt I needed to do. But, it probably hurt him just as much. Maybe even more...." Kaname swallowed hard. She had been hurt terribly. She didn't want to think about someone hurting more than that.  
  
She had been hit hard by abandonment issues, as a result of other things that had happened to her. But, if there was anybody with a rougher past than her....  
  
"Why?" Aki thought she might be on to something.  
  
"He was so rigid, and so mechanical. I couldn't believe at first that he had any feelings at all." Kaname sighed before continuing. Her hand grasped the tablecloth. "But... as we spent time together... and went through some drastic situations together... he... _we_...."  
  
"Could you please let go of the tablecloth, Kaname?" Her friend smiled. Kaname managed a smile in return. "I understand, I think. You opened up to him without knowing it at first. He may have opened up even more. You said he started off saying that. What did he finish saying?"  
  
Kaname bit her lip. "He said _'no doubt you are trying to make me feel better for intruding on your personal life again. I will make certain it is not a problem.'_ He's such an idiot! I had asked him to dinner with me. Well, after I lied about needing his help. I tried to tell him that I didn't want him gone when he checked in on me at home after I threw my umbrella at him and left."  
  
Aki sighed. Deep and long. She shook her head, as if trying to wake up from a dream or something.  
  
"Well, it certainly sounds like a wonderful start, girl. A _lie._ Then a _thrown_ umbrella. When he was at your door, did you try to tell him what was in your heart?" Aki was once a fan of romance novels. This was all tragic enough to be straight out of one of them.  
  
Kaname blushed. It all certainly sounded bad when Aki said it.  
  
"I kind of made an effort to excuse my actions when he left three years ago. Ummm... when I finally started feeling ready to open up, he got an emergency phone call and had to leave." Kaname felt a quick shiver run through her.  
  
_"Hmmmmmm._ I can't see how ANY guy could resist all that....." Aki's sarcasm had Kaname flinching. "So... I shouldn't even ask probably.... what did you say when he wouldn't intrude on your personal life again?"  
  
"Ummmm...." Kaname couldn't forget THAT. She could still kick herself. Hard. Repeatedly.  
  
Aki just sat quietly.  
  
"I..." Kaname still had trouble saying it. She blushed again.  
  
Aki took out a brush and began working on her hair. That bit of drama helped her friend find her tongue.  
  
"I started off my next description for the class by saying... uh... _'Idiot! Moron! Jerk.'_ I was pretty loud." Kaname took a long drink of water, short of breath when she was done.  
  
"And he said...." Aki gave Kaname her glass of water.  
  
"Sousuke said _'It would seem that those words explain it all, Miss Chidori.'_ I wanted to explain that I was just so frustrated, but he disappeared after class." Kaname closed her eyes for a bit.  
  
"You really are amazing, Kaname. Do you know that?" Aki smiled. "I can only imagine what high school must have been like for the two of you. It probably would have made good cinema!" Aki shook her head again. "But you're a good person at heart. And I think you really care for this Sousuke. Don't give up. Unless he is terribly scarred by your past actions, he still might do what you're doing."  
  
"But he... I.... _Oooooooooooooh!"_ Kaname felt her frustration biting down hard yet again. "He's fast. He's clever. He's skilled at observation. He can disappear into a crowd... the shadows... ANYTHING!"  
  
_"Really?_ Too bad you're chasing him and not the other way around, right? So, what have you tried after class ended?" Aki took the sampler plate of appetizers from the waiter.  
  
"Yes. I tried surveillance. I can't keep up with him, but I could follow the girls who always seem to show up where he is." Kaname nodded her head, thinking that it was a logical enough plan.  
  
"Why, so you could _beat_ their secrets out of them?" Aki laughed.  
  
Kaname scowled.  
  
"Sorry! Did they lead you to him?" Aki realized that she had to walk softly here.  
  
"Yes," Kaname said with a sigh. "They have obviously mapped out his schedule already. They beat me to it. He was leaving one building, and they surrounded him. One of the girls finally worked up the courage to point blank ask him out. The others quickly followed suit."  
  
"Did he accept?" Aki chided herself. This wasn't a soap opera or something. She needed to extinguish the feeling of anticipation.  
  
"No." Kaname looked down.  
  
"But that's a good thing, right?" Aki wondered what had happened.  
  
Kaname shook her head. "He was very polite. It's good to see he's learned a little consideration and compassion. He... he told them that he wasn't looking for...a relationship... because it didn't make sense for him to be vulnerable at the moment." Kaname brought her hand down too hard again. Appetizers sprung into the air. Luckily most landed back on the plate. "He said there were important things he needed to do. He said he would need to learn from his mistakes...."  
  
"Important things? You mean studying and preparing for his career? We all do that, though." Aki wondered just how anal Sousuke might be. Was he a chronic worrier, or someone who could only think about status and his future employment?  
  
"No. Things that pulled him away before." Kaname sighed again. "The same things that made me push aside any efforts he made. I can't talk about them. He's an amazing man...." Kaname almost wished that he wasn't so special. Special meant unforgettable.  
  
"The same things? And they might pull him away _again?_ Are you saying you are willing to take chances now you weren't willing to take before?" Aki thought she already knew the answer.  
  
"Yes." It had been less than a whisper.  
  
"What was that? Uncertain?" Aki couldn't help but smile.  
  
"YES!" Kaname said, louder than she had intended. The restaurant went quiet for a moment, before going back to its usual level of activity.  
  
"Well, that is probably the biggest step, isn't it. Making that decision. Good for you, gal!" Aki reached over and squeezed Kaname's hand.  
  
"I just wish I knew what to do to get his attention. If I could just tell him how I felt before, and how I feel now. Maybe he would take a chance like I'm willing to do. I don't even know whether or not his responsibilities have changed. He may be more limited than before. Maybe just the opposite." There was so much that Kaname anted to know.  
  
_It was ridiculous_.  
  
One day she's cruising through her regulated if somewhat droll existence... and now _this_....  
  
"So, what is your next step?" Aki found a piece of tempura that had managed to land in her lap.  
  
"The first part is simple. Maybe you could help me there. I am asking everyone I know and trust to try and help me out. If they're willing, I would like them to introduce themselves to Sousuke... mention my name... and tell them that I really want to speak with him. I am thinking about writing him a short note, and having some people carry a copy, hoping they can give it to him." Kaname didn't sound too optimistic.  
  
"That might work. But if he's already convinced you don't care about him at all...."  
  
"I know. That's why I won't get my hopes up to high. I'll still try to corner him anywhere I can. Pride be damned! If I have to throw myself on him in front of witnesses... wrap my arm and legs around him as tight as I can.... and force him to hurt me to get free...." Kaname's eyes flashed.  
  
"You'd _do_ that?" Aki smiled.  
  
"Maybe...." Kaname blushed. "Desperate times...."  
  
"Is that it?" Aki would want to hear every possible update from this adventure.  
  
"No. I think I know the building that relates to the important things he mentioned. If I start hanging around there... I wouldn't call it snooping or anything.... who knows what I might find? I know a few secrets from before that might allow me to talk to some people there. It's worth a try."  
  
"That's pretty bold!" Aki nodded her thanks when the waiter brought her meal.  
  
"That's me!" Kaname laughed, taking her dish from the waiter. "I may even call some people who once looked after me. If I can find out a way to contact them. They are friends of his."  
  
"Would madame like a number of spare plates or utensils?" The waiter looked at the broken plate; the remnants of the salt pile on the floor; and a few leftover fragments of menu.  
  
"No, thank you. These out to do fine." Kaname grinned.  
  
Aki looked at her skeptically. 


	6. Chapter 6

Kaname stared at the large building.

It somehow felt daunting and oppressive now. Before today, she had never paid it much attention. Now, it had her wondering just what kind of work was going on in the large areas that were off limits to students.

If Mithril was involved, there must be something important, either some work involving Black Technology, or some kind of research that might prove enticing to terrorist organizations. She tried not to feel too much on edge, worrying that the building might be attacked again.

A huge fence surrounded the building and the surrounding campus quadrant, making the modern structure and its grounds look like its own country or something. The front of the structure was airy, with huge glass panels and soaring buttresses of chrome and steel. That was the part that held classrooms and lecture halls. The rear was constructed out of brick and cinderblock. It was completely windowless. That was where the high level research took place.

Kaname scanned the area. There were security cameras everywhere. She looked for those kinds of things now, thanks to a certain otaku.Huge power lines led to rear of the complex. Just what did they have in there that needed so much electricity? Small cities didn't have that much wire!

"Maybe I'm taking things a little too far..." Kaname began wrestling with her doubts again. There was still time to turn back. But, her other plans hadn't panned out, had they?

"Idiot! Moron! Jerk!" Kaname stamped her foot, thinking about all the trouble Sousuke was causing her. Once again, she spoke aloud what she had been thinking. This time, she did so while walking up to the security station just inside the main doors.

"Excuse me?" The guard furrowed his brow. He was a heavy set man with intense eyes. A large bank of monitors surrounded him, and a nasty looking pistol sat on the desk near his hand.

"Huh? Oh! My apologies. I was thinking of someone else." Kanamne swallowed hard. Damn that Sousuke! "If you knew him, you wouldn't look surprised to hear someone talking that way." Kaname tried to smile. "Maybe you do know him. Sousuke Sagara. My age. X-shaped scar on his face."

The guard's face went entirely blank. That said more than any words could. Somehow or another, the man knows Sousuke.

"Your pass, Miss..." The man held out his hand. As he did, Kaname took a closer look at the gun. It was a PDW, not a simple pistol.

That had her feeling tense again. She forced herself to breath normally. She already knew that something big was going on in the back of the building. It had been targeted at least once already. Sousuke was involved somehow. What more did she need to know?_  
_  
"Here you go. I'm signed up to audit the Physics seminar." Kaname took her pass back after the man began a security check. She wrinkled her nose, thinking facetiously thoughts, wondering why he didn't ask her for a fingerprint, retina scan, or DNA sample. 

"I assume that you've read the restrictions, young lady? I take it that you know where you can go, and what's off limits?" The guard's face was stern and unforgiving.

"Yes, Sir!" Kaname cursed. She was sounding like a certain military maniac.

"Go on in, then. Make sure to sign out when you leave." The guard turned to face the person in line behind Kaname.

Kaname walked in, her heart beating ever so fast. She had almost blown it back there with her big mouth. But, she had reason to be angry at Sousuke, didn't she? That over-trained... over-cautious... over-sensitive fool!

Using what skills she had picked up from him by osmosis, Kaname had cornered Sousuke on a number of different occasions. There should not have been any avenue of escape in any of the encounters, thanks to her clever planning. He found a way out, each and every time.

She had come so very close once. Walking on a veranda above a walkway, she got into a make believe shoving match with one of her friends. Tumbling over the railing, she had been headed straight for Sousuke's arms.

Why did that small University café have to be located over the Visiting Professor dormitories?_  
_  
Sousuke had moved quickly, and reached over to a stack of items waiting to be brought inside the building. Slinging a mattress around like a Frisbee, he softened her fall without saying a word. When Kaname turned around, he was gone!

Damn him! There is such a thing as too much skill. Why didn't he just catch her?_  
_  
Her other approach wasn't working either. Each of the friends that she had enlisted was having a difficult time getting to Sousuke. He must somehow recognize them as her acquaintances. Aki had been the lone exception, and had actually gotten to speak briefly with Sousuke, handing him a note from Kaname.

Sousuke's words had been discouraging:

_"As you must know, Miss Chidori is a very kind person. She valiantly put up with me once, when by necessity we were in close quarters. But, her true feelings were made known when the situation changed. You may inform her that I do not expect anything in return for saving her."  
_  
Aki had tried to get a word in edgewise, but Sousuke wouldn't let her. He had stared at the note for a while, a strange look on his face. But, he never read it. His final words effectively shot down her plan for good:

"_Here. I have no business reading any note from her. Let her know that I will not be an imposition of any sort. Thank you. You are a good friend."  
_  
According to Aki, Sousuke had been swept away by a group of girls, a resigned look on his face. After that, the moment that someone mentioned Kaname's name or tried to hand him a note without mentioning who it was from, Sousuke used his talents to escape before anyone could try and convince him of Kaname's sincerity.

One time, he scaled a two story wall without any equipment. Another day, he vanished in an open stretch of walkways, with someone swearing that they saw the enormous grating leading to the steam tunnels slide back into place. There had been a flash of bright light at one attempt, and a thick cloud of smoke at another. One friend swore that he had jumped from the ledge of a two-story building.

Sousuke was more difficult to catch than smoke!_  
_  
Kaname had also tried a different method. Unfortunately, the registrar only had records of his name. Nothing more. Despite the fact that certain facts were a university requirement, supposedly without exception .

_Kaname knew signs of official pressure or payoffs when she saw them._

She had been at wit's end. This latest plan was as much out of desperation as it was out of sheer inspiration and determination.

It had to work!

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"I will get you Sousuke, no matter what!"

Kaname sat in a chair near a large set of double doors. She had a good view of the speaker, but also could watch a hallway and a large portion of the lobby area. She hoped that Sousuke didn't have some secret underground entrance or a direct access to the rear of the complex.

She hoped that he would walk by. If he did, she should be able to approach him and explain her feelings in this building, right? It wasn't as if he'd contact the security guard and have her removed, was it?

Sighing, she freshened up her make-up and stretched out her legs some. She was here for the long haul today and tomorrow. Not the most fun way to spend a weekend, but a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do. There must be some way she could explain the bill for the new course to her father.

Kaname day-dreamed for a while, imaging what things might be like if she could convince Sousuke that she didn't have any hard feelings or any regrets. What could she expect, if the two of them were able to renew their relationship in an adult environment?

The droning voice of the lecturer intruded on her wool-gathering:

_"Reactors for nuclear fusion are of two main varieties, magnetic confinement reactors and inertial confinement reactors. The strategies for creating fusion reactors are largely dictated by the fact that the temperatures involved in nuclear fusion are far too high to be contained in any material container." _

Oh joy! The topic was going to be even more 'fun' than she had originally imagined. Sousuke was going to owe her big time. And then some!

_"The strategy of the magnetic confinement reactor is to confine the hot plasma by means of magnetic field which keep it perpetually in looping paths which do not touch the wall of the container. This is typified by the tokamak design, the most famous example of which is the TFTR at Princeton in the United States. The strategy of the inertial confinement reactor is to put such high energy density into a small pellet of deuterium-tritium that it fuses in such a short time that it can't move appreciably. The most advanced test reactors involve laser fusion, particularly in the Shiva and Nova reactors at Lawrence Livermore Laboratory."  
_  
Fusion reactors? Didn't Arbalest have some form of fusion reactor?

Once again, Kaname slipped into a daydream. She could see the forests of Khanka. She remembered feeling scared after seeing Sousuke pull a sharp piece of debris out of his side. She grimaced, remembering where Kurz had been gazing.

She and Souske had been leaning close to one another. They had whispered each other's names...

_"The TFTR uses the toroidal geometry of the tokamak, a device first developed in the USSR. It uses a combination of two magnetic fields to confine and control the plasma. One is provided by the doughnut-shaped set of external coils which provides a magnetic field along the axis of the the toroid...called the toroidal field. The other is generated by the large heating current along the toroid which heats the plasma... it is called a poloidal field. This heating current is induced by changing magnetic fields in central induction coils and exceeds a million amperes. In addition to the plasma heating by this axial current, the plasma is heated by intense beams of neutral atoms which are injected into the plasma. This reactor has reached a temperature of 4 x 108 K, above the critical ignition temperature for D-T fusion and has approached very close to the Lawson criteria, although not at the same time."  
_  
Why couldn't have Kurz had just been quiet or even unconscious or something!

What might have happened if she and Sousuke had actually kissed? Kaname's thoughts followed that line of thought. How far might their relationship gone? Would Sousuke have refused to leave Tokyo if they had grown much closer?

_"The fusion temperature obtained by setting the average thermal energy equal to the coulomb barrier gives too high a temperature because fusion can be initiated by those particles which are out on the high-energy tail of the Maxwellian distribution of particle energies. The critical ignition temperature is lowered further by the fact that some particles which have energies below the coulomb barrier can tunnel through the barrier._

Were her actions irrational? What could she hope for if she could start hanging around with Sousuke again? She didn't even know how long he had been on campus, or for how much longer he would be around. For all she knew, he might leave tomorrow, next weak, or next month.

Was it worth getting her hopes up?

_The presumed height of the coulomb barrier is based upon the distance at which the nuclear strong force could overcome the coulomb repulsion. The required temperature may be overestimated if the classical radii of the nuclei are used for this distance, since the range of the strong interaction is significantly greater than a classical proton radius. With all these considerations, the critical temperatures for the two most important cases are about: deuterium-deuterium... four time ten to the eight K... deuterium-tritium... 4.5 times ten to the seven K."  
_  
Blah blah blah blah _deuterium_. Blah blah blah _tritium. _ Blah blah blah blah and blah.

Kaname looked down at her watch. Great. It had only been thirty minutes so far. She had had better times in the dentist's chair. But, she was trying to conjure up a new strategy. She had certain knowledge, so why not put it to use? How many people in this audience knew that Black Technology had given scientists the ability to build small reactors? She could use that knowledge to formulate questions for the professors, seeing if any of them might show a shock of recognition.

Risky? Sure. But, she was Kaname Chiodri, wasn't she? Indeed. She had survived Gauron. A21. Not to mention Sousuke.In any case,she should probably pay closer attention and jot down a few things that would allow her to speak intelligently.

"You better well be worth all this, you big jerk!"

_"The most promising of the hydrogen fusion reaction which make up the deuterium cycle is the fusion of deuterium and tritium. The reaction yields 17.6 MeV of energy but requires a temperature of approximately 40 million Kelvins to overcome the coulomb barrier and ignite it. The deuterium fuel is abundant, but tritium must be either bred from lithium or gotten in the operation of the deuterium cycle."  
_  
Kaname continued to listen, keeping one eye out on the hallway area. She wrote down facts about confinement time... ion density... Lawson's criteria... Neodymium glass lasers...energetic collisions... and countless other things she had never wanted to know.

"Just you wait, soldier. Just you wait..."

Sousuke would pay.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kaname decide she would need to get a vaccination before returning for tomorrow's lectures.

Yes. She had developed the sniffles. It might well mean that she was allergic to nerds and geeks. Either that, or she was showing a reaction to excessive scientific terms and formulae. Maybe it was the 'newly built' smell of the auditorium.

There was no doubt that she would need a number of good meals and a full night's rest just to get her patience back again. She had survived the lecture. But, she was still in the lecture hall! She had been waiting by the door for more than an hour, simply trying to ask the professor her questions.

_But no-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o...  
_  
One after another, scientific gadflies stepped in front of her, waving their hands. The number slowly decreased, until there was only a small group remaining, mostly girls. Kaname rubbed her eyes repeatedly, but the picture didn't change. What were they? Physics groupies? The professor certainly wasn't good looking!

"I'm sorry, we'll have to leave the classroom now. The next group is coming in." That remark had been made just as it was Kaname's turn to ask her first question. Of course.

_Damn damn damn damn damn damn damn._

"Well-l-l-l-l-l... I probably _shouldn't_ do this... but I don't see any harm in it. Would you ladies like a quick tour of our facilities? We can't go in certain areas, but you have an opportunity to ask your questions." The professor nodded his head when he saw all of the hands go up. "Fine. Just follow me then."

The gabbing group of girls and women followed the professor past a number of security check stations and through a series of double doors. Kaname took close note of the nature of the doors. They were quite thick. No doubt they would be capable of surviving a considerable blast. And, they looked to be designed to keep something in, or keep someone out.

"Let's start of in the smaller area." the professor nodded to a number of scientists and technicians who walked by. Before Kaname knew it, he began lecturing in that sonorous voice.

_"Fusion ... the forceful joining of light atoms... is the process that operates our sun. It is a nuclear process, and heat is one of the by- products. Of course, under normal circumstances, atoms don't want to come together. In the sun, gravity is the force that causes the fusion reaction."  
_  
As the other girls _oooh_ed and _ahhh_ed, Kaname took a look around the facilities. There was no sign of Sousuke. There was no one she could readily spot as a likely operative or covert guard. Maybe all of the surveillance was done via close circuit TV or something.

Great. If they were visible on security monitors... and Sousuke caught sight of her... he'd never get anywhere near her.

Technology sucks!

_"Technology today is amazing, as are you pretty young ladies." The professor lead them all to a huge cylindrical enclosure. "There are about 10 different feasible fusion reactions. The deuterium-tritium reaction is the one that has received the most attention, in part because it is the easiest to make work, and also because it produces quite a bit of energy. As I noted in lecture, deuterium is readily available in water as a naturally occurring isotope of hydrogen. Tritium has to be produced from lithium, but there is a relatively abundant supply of this element."  
_  
Kaname listened with a minimal of interest. She would save her questions for the most opportune moment. Right now, she caught a snippet of a conversation that had her wondering what was going on.

"There was something about helicopters, but we were told that their identity had been determined and they were given the green light. I don't know why more than one helicopter would be together in this vicinity, but if the security boys say it's OK..." One technician disappeared inside a security door. As a second followed him in, Kaname could hear what he said before the door closed.

"I hope so. They weren't worried the last time, either. There's no guarantee that our guardian angle will be able to protect us all the time." The man scratched his head. "I hope they told _him_ about the helicopters."

Guardian angel? Was that a blanket term for Mithril? Were they speaking in generalities? Or, could they mean Sousuke?

_"The big advantage of fusion compared with fossil-fuel-based energy production is its relatively small fuel requirements. For the same amount of energy, fusion requires about six orders of magnitude less fuel compared with chemical energy sources. Think of it this way: consider that an ordinary cup of tap water contains the energy equivalent of a full tank of gasoline in an automobile. That is, the approximately one drop of heavy water in that cup could, through fusion, provide as much energy as 20 gallons of gas."  
_  
Despite herself, Kaname was impressed. That was a worthy goal alright. Of course, there would be a lot of people in the world who would be in no rush to see any success on a large scale. Petroleum companies. Sheikhs. Anyone with a major investment in fossil fuels.

Just what kind of breakthroughs were taking place in this building? Why was Sousuke here on campus? How long would he be here? This kind of project would take a while. Would Mithril allow Sousuke to go through an entire college curriculum?_  
_  
"Don't hold your breath, girl." Kaname mumbled.

_"Plasma physicists often point out that essentially all of our universe is made up of plasma. It is a relatively cold plasma, about 10,000°C. By contrast, the heat of a fusion reaction is in the range of hundreds of millions of degrees. The atomic densities required for fusion... particularly for magnetic fusion... are relatively low compared with the density of air. In other words, the power density in a fusion reactor would be comparable to fossil fuel power plants, even though the fusion plasma operates at a much higher temperature. Achieving higher power densities in fusion reactors requires the development of new materials or confinement concepts, due to the high heat fluxes which would occur at the plasma- facing components of the reactor. That is one of the things we are involved with here."  
_  
"Does any of this have to do with the role that JAERI has played in Japanese nuclear fusion research? Wasn't the aim for an operational fusion power plant around the year 2050?" One older woman asked.

"No. Plasma research in JAERI is conducted mainly using JT-60 and JFT-2M. The JT-60 experiments focus on the steady-state tokamak research with W-shaped divertors and the negative-ion-based neutral beams. We are far beyond that. I am not at liberty to say who we are partnered with."

Kaname's attention was drawn to a far corner of the room. A number of people were congregating. One was waving his arms. Others were running in a number of different directions. Her past experience made her paranoid. Was there some kind of problem? Was a reaction out of control? Were the helicopters that she caught wind of something to worry about? Might this be a repeat of the trouble that led her to stumble across Sousuke in the first place?

Wouldn't that be ironic!

_"A divertor is normally installed at the bottom of a vacuum vessel of a fusion reactor. The function of a divertor is to exhaust helium impurities from plasma, which are produced as a result of fusion reactions. Therefore a divertor is one of the essential components of fusion reactors to maintain fusion reaction and to realize a long pulse operation. The work in this project is focused on functionally graded divertor materials based on the tungsten-copper system, optimised with the assistance of a micromechanical model. Our more advanced classes will cover reactor components in greater detail."  
_  
The banks of security doors all started closing in sync with one another. A series of red lights started flashing. A man in a security guard's outfit ran over to the professor.

"Do we have an emergency situation?" The professor asked, looking worried. "Weren't our security arrangements upgraded after the last episode?"

"We're just warning people as a precaution, Sir. It may be a false alarm, but I suggest you take your visitors to one of the peripheral rooms. There are intercoms in those areas, so we can inform you when the coast is clear, or announce a progression through higher alert levels if necessary.

The professor lead the group away from the large equipment, moving at a forced leisurely pace, trying not to frighten the girls any more than he had to.

Kaname cursed. Just what have you gotten me into this time, Sousuke?_  
_  
_"Let's see. What was I saying before? Maybe I should continue."_ The professor had begun to sweat. _"OK. In order to preserve the condition of an environmentally safe machine, the selection of materials for structural components of a fusion reactor is made not only on the basis of adequate mechanical properties, behavior under irradiation and compatibility with other materials and cooling media, but also on their radiological properties... activity, decay heat, radiotoxicity, and so forth.. These conditions strongly limit the number of materials available to a few families of alloys, generically known as low activation materials. We discuss the criteria for deciding on such materials in some of our more advanced seminars."  
_  
As the group stepped inside of a smaller room, Kaname stopped. A single individual had caught her attention, running in with a large black bag over his shoulder. It was Sousuke.  
She looked at the room, then back at Sousuke. She should get under cover. Her place was not out here. But, Sousuke was here. He might be very busy, but he wasn't likely to run away from anything that needed him in a professional capacity.

Could this be her big chance?Should she risk it? If she interfered with his duty, he might react in a negative manner, shutting her out once and for all.

_What to do. What to do. What to do. What to do. What to do. What to do._

"Nobody is coming to make me move," She said told herself aloud. "And, now that door is closed. Guess I have no choice. I'll just stand here watching..."

A bank of blue lights went on, spinning wildly, sending beams of light racing around the room. A mechanical voice came on, alerting everybody to a Stage Three situation, whatever that meant. Huge patricians began to close. A stairwell appeared in the floor as if by magic, lit by an eerie red glow. Men began running in various directions.

Sousuke was handing out weapons that were kept in large sliding cabinets that had been pulled out of the walls on large coasters.

Wonderful choice, Kaname!Where do I go now? If this was just an alert, she swore that she would never be this reckless again!

_If she could help it._

"Data dump has begun. Core source data will be encapsulated. Less crucial data will be erased. All scientific personnel seek shelter immediately." That mechanical voice came over one set of speakers.

"Report of multiple helicopters confirmed. ECS systems postulated, explaining why close approach has been visually undetected. Sovereign armed forces have been alerted, ETA fifteen minutes. All factors suggest a data raid and/or catastrophic level destructive attack. Initiate automatic AA missile systems with radar and thermal lock. All combatants proceed to likely sites of entry." That was Sousuke's voice.

Kaname plastered herself against one large machine as Sousuke came running by. She could hear what he said.

"I **told** them to put an A.S. on station here. _Idiots!_ I hate being right all the time."

Hand at her mouth, Kaname found herself watching Sousuke move. He was so fluid, like a dancer, not a combat soldier. His voice was more vibrant and full of different timbres than it had been years ago. His comments suggested a level of confidence and competence beyond anything he had displayed before.

She crouched down, content to be near Sousuke for now. Sure, that might be the hottest spot in a moment. But, unless he was overmatched, it might end up being the safest place to be.

_What would it take to overmatch Sousuke Sagara when he was in his comfort zone?_

She hoped she wasn't about to find out.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kaname wedged herself behind a large piece of equipment when the bullets had started ricocheting off the wall close to her.

Unable to see the area where combat where the fighting was taking place, she had no idea what was going on. The struggle sounded rather fierce.

The first sign of a serious confrontation had come when a large section of the roof fell in. Soon after that, more than a dozen men rappelled down ropes, dressed in camouflage clothing. They were followed by flaming wreckage of their helicopter, and a large canister that it had been carrying. The large canister bounced once, and then began steamrolling a number of the intruders.

Another helicopter touched down inside the room, heavy machine guns blazing from its open side doors as more enemies entered the conflict.

_"Dammit!_ Don't let them manually set off that device!" It had been Sousuke, who obviously recognized the large canister for what it was. Kaname assumed it was some kind of large bomb.

Things had become a blur. There were small explosions. Gunfire. Complete darkness for a brief while. Shouts and screams. There was a terrible sound of metal on metal when the blades of the ascending helicopter broke off as they clipped the sides of the broken ceiling on takeoff. Kaname had ducked into her sheltered spot just before a huge hunk of metal dug a groove in the floor where she had been standing.

Eventually, when the sounds of the battle grew quieter, Kaname peered out to see what was going on. Looking nearby, she saw Sousuke throw aside an empty or jammed weapon and draw his combat knife. He moved in to struggle with two much larger men. Shoved hard, one of his adversaries almost collided with her.

There was an impossible blur of limbs. The two enemy soldiers fell like cut trees. With his opponents laying dead on the ground, Sousuke began to turn, intending to look for any remaining foes.

Kaname saw movement. It was a man with a pistol.She wanted to grab Sousuke and pull him to safety. Moving, she tripped on one of the dead men. Slamming into Sousuke, she knocked him aside.

As a result, she took a bullet in the shoulder that had been meant for him.

She saw Sousuke throw his knife at the gunman.

**_Everything went dark._**


	7. Chapter 7

Kaname woke up.

What was going on?This wasn't her room! It was...

"You're in the hospital, Kaname." That voice was familiar. Where had she heard it?

Rubbing her eyes, she tried to figure out if she was dreaming or really awake. She remembered being the Advanced Reasearch lab for a seminar. Wait! Not just a seminar.

_There had been a battle!  
_  
She sat up fast. She had a visitor. A rather attractive but very tough looking woman sat  
in a chair, her foot up, a beer can in her hand. It was Melissa Mao!

"Melissa? What? Why are you here? _Where_ is here?" Kaname grimaced, feeling a pain in her shoulder.

"The pain killers must be wearing off." The SRT soldier took a long pull of beer. "You were shot. It seems that you were somewhere that you didn't belong yesterday." Melissa looked at a pack of cigarettes, as if wondering what they would do to her if she broke the hospital rules. "You're in the University of Tokyo Hospital. How have you been, other than that?" Melissa laughed. She knew how ridiculous her question sounded.

Kaname looked around, staring at the doorway.

"Are you wondering if he is here?" Melissa smirked for a moment, before her face went stern.

"Y-Y-Yes..." Kaname's voice had Melissa nodding her head, giving her more information about the blue-haired girl and her feelings for a certain young man.

"Well, he's not. You don't have anything to worry about. He's in town; but, I told him to stay away. He _better_ listen." Melissa knew finished her beer... crumpled the can... and tossed the refuse at a garbage can, missing by a few feet. 

"But..." Kaname's face fell. She closed her eyes and fell back on the bed, causing another streak of pain to course down her arm from her shoulder. "I had hoped…"

"Well, _Kurz_ will certainly be happy to know that a pretty young lady was disappointed that he didn't show up." Melissa fought hard to keep from laughing. She shrugged when a nurse looked into the room and saw the beer can.

"Kurz? I thought you meant..." Kaname bit her lip, and then clenched her fist. She was in no mood to be toyed with.

"Sousuke carried you all of the way here in his arms, even though he was injured himself. He wouldn't let anyone else take you. He sat with you through the night, even though he kept falling asleep.

"Then…" Kaname looked out through the door, wondering if Sousuke was there waiting.

He was called away for debriefing and asked me if I would stand guard. I _shouldn't_ have agreed, since it's not reallyofficial business. But, I did it for his peace of mind." Melissa stood up, walked over to Kaname's bed, and then sat on the edge.

_She was wearing a nurse's outfit._

Kaname had a flashback. She remembered being in a hospital, right after making it out of Khanka alive. Melissa had been sitting on the edge of the bed then, too.

She had so many questions to ask, but doubted that Melissa would talk about Mithril business. Kaname wasn't under Mithril protection any longer. And, there might even be a possibility that Melissa and Kurz thought poorly of her now, given the way she had treated Sousuke three years ago.

Would Sousuke come back to see her? Had he simply carried her here and watched after her because she had saved his life? Did he consider that to be a repayment of the debt she owed him from the park?

"So, what do you want to know more? What was going on, or how a certain soldier feels about you?" Melissa had Kaname nailed perfectly. Her voice sounded droll, but with a nasty edge.

_"Hmmmpppfff!"_ Kaname's response was automatic. "I don't know if it matters. It's just another terrorist attack that I had the pleasure to get caught up in. And, why should I care about some migratory military malcontent?"

"Uh huh. Well, that's fine. If you don't want to know, it isn't any skin off of _my _ teeth." Melissa opened another can of beer. "_Damn._ This shit's getting warm. I told that asshole to set me up with a cooler!" Melissa yawned. "Don't mind me. I figure you're safe enough here. I'm going to catch a little shut eye..."

Kaname sat back up again. One hand grabbed the bed rail, clenching hard. She tried to slow her breathing down some. She had spoken too quickly. She _did_ want answers. Now, she was wrestling with her pride, trying to quell the urge to scream.

"Shamshir." Melissa said.

"Excuse me?" Kaname said. What, who, or where was Shamshir? And why would she care?

"That's the only time you will hear that word from me. It's a Middle Eastern equivalent of Mithril. Actually, to be accurate, it's an analog of Amalgam. They're _not_ a bunch of good guys. Their funding comes from wealthy men in the region. Fusion is a financial risk to their benefactor's livelihoods. Small fusion reactors would prove beneficial in their own weapons systems." Melissa narrowed her eyes. "I suggest you don't repeat that to anyone." After that, the Arm Slave pilot was silent.

Kaname waited, to see if Melissa would say anything about Sousuke. The silence seemed deafening. The loud ticking of the clock on the wall seemed a personal affront.

_She would have to ask.  
_  
"Sousuke?" Kaname let her breath out. Ok, now it was done.

Melissa remained quiet. Kaname balled up her cover sheet, frowning. This wasn't right. She was wounded. And she had saved a Mithril soldier. She had saved Sousuke!

"Not getting upset, _are_ you?" Melissa asked. "That might suggest that you care something about Sousuke." She paused, taking out a cigarette and lighting it. "Not sure I'd be too happy with that, if you want to know the truth."

Kaname's anger flared up again. "Why? Does he still need somebody to baby sit him? Have you taken him on as your property? Or did Tessa?" Twitching, she caused her bedrail to rattle.

Melissa opened her eyes. "Whether or not he has someone to care about is none of _your_ business," she said with some acerbity. "I'm certainly not going to tell you either way. I wish he _would_ find someone in Mithril. We're not in the habit of leaving the wounded behind."

Those words hit Kaname hard. Her mouth hung open. Then her eyes narrowed. "No. Of course not. You just _cause_ wounds. People don't matter. _Missions_ do." Kaname wished there was something within reach to throw. "My heart broke the day he left. Do they even bother to issue hearts to Arm Slave pilots?"

Melissa stood up, looking down at Kaname. "Did you ever tell him that? Even once?" Her voice was eerily quiet.

"I... I tried..." Kaname's anger faded away. Tears came to her eyes.

"I tried..." Melissa mimicked. "Those words don't mean a lot to people in our line of work. We do, or we don't do. Simple." She poked Kaname's chest with her finger. "Can you imagine how he felt, not hearing _anything?_ We had to watch him struggle with that. He wouldn't talk to anyone about." Melissa cursed and began to walk away. She stopped and spoke with her back turned to Kaname. "I'm glad to hear that you actually cared about him." Her voice softened some. "But there is something you should _never_ forget."

Kaname swallowed. What?"

"You hurt a lot, right? But you got to hurt safe at home." Melissa turned and looked at Kaname. There was pain in her eyes. Kaname had never seen that look on her before. "He hurt too. The difference was that when _he _was hurting, he was crawling through trenches... snorkeling through underwater minefields... piloting Arbalest against two, three, or even more enemy machines. He was putting other people first. And they weren't even people who had come to mean anything to him."

Kaname hung her head. She felt as if the whole world was sitting on her chest, making it hard to breathe. One hand gripped her hospital gown. "I…" Tears spilled out of her eyes. "I've thought about that recently. I had been hurt by so many things before... I just... I wasn't able to see it then."

There was a prolonged period of silence.

Melissa put her hand on Kaname's good shoulder and squeezed. It was a peace gesture of sorts. "I'm sorry. I guess Ijust did the same thing myself, didn't I?" She took her hand away and pushed aside her hair from her eyes.

Kaname looked up at the other woman. "I don't know what to do."

Melissa's face softened some. "I was going to tell you to leave him alone. No, actually I was gong to _threaten_ you. It was painful to watch him the last time." She clenched her hands."But, I shouldn't forget the changes he had started to go through at that school. I think hey helped him grow into the man he is today."

"And?" Kaname loosened her hold on her gown.

"It's up to the two of you, right? He may not want anything to do with you… even though I think he still cares. But, he might actually need a chance at a relationship. He has so few opportunities to experience the things that many people take for granted." Melissa offered Kaname a beer.

"The doctors probably wouldn't like it if I..."

"F-ck'em." Vintage Mao. She opened the can and tossed it to Kaname.

"Uhhh... why not..." Kaname took a long sip of beer, sputtering when she was done. "I think Sousuke has more opportunities than you think." Kaname face looked sour. It wasn't from the beer.

"Oh? Fill me in!" Melissa sat down and flung a leg over her chair.

Kaname explained about Souske's growing harem. Melissa slapped her knee and broke out laughing.

"Kurz will want to hear that. I can probably coax a couple of cases out of him!" Melissa's laughter went up a number of decibels when she saw the look on Kaname's face. "Worried, huh?"

"NO!" Kaname said too quickly. Melissa laughed even more. "Well..."

"Kind of makes it more of a challenge, doesn't it. I should just let you stew like that..." Melissa tossed her empty can in the direction of the trash can. She missed again.

"What?" Kaname wasn't certain what Melissa meant.

"Well... I can't say that our young sergeant might not give in to his baser urges..." Melissa left it hanging there for a while, enjoying the play of emotions across Kaname's face. "Especially if those girls are hanging all over him... soft... curvaceous... cuddly... sweetly perfumed... eager to do _aneeeeeeething_ for him..."

Kaname choked on her beer.

"But, he's pretty strong. And he has his heart set on a girl he shouldn't have." Melissa looked both ways before speaking.

_"Who?"_ Kaname hoped it was her, but was far from certain when she saw Melissa's actions.

"Tessa. They've been secretly _married_ for a year and a half now. The shit will hit the fan if anyone in the High Command catches words of that. They will, soon enough. She's _pregnant."_ Melissa nonchalantly tipped her can back.

Kaname crushed her beer can. Amber colored liquid shot upward. Before she knew it, her hospital gown was soaked.

"Just kidding..." Melissa said.

"You... _you_..." Kaname's embarrassment gave way to laughter. She was way too easy...

"If you promise not to tell anyone, I'll let you in on a story you might like. Will you give me your word?" Melissa raised one eyebrow.

"I swear."

"Tessa wasn't entirely pleased with the decision to pull Sousuke out of Tokyo. If anything, she thought she was in a fair competition with a certain girl who will remain nameless." The soldier winked. "But, when Sousuke was back onboard Da Danaan full time, she decided that she was willing to flaunt some rules." Melissa smiled.

"That... uh... go on..."

"She arranged to have Sousuke assigned to clean some parts taken off of Arbalest. It had taken heavy damage, in part because he wasn't fighting like his old self." Melissa didn't need to explain why. "She pretended to be very upset. She told him it might teach him a lesson, if he had to do some of the repair work himself. When he went to the soaking tub… the one that you, Tessa, and I shared that time… he found it filled with bubble bath. Tessa was there waiting for him… in a bikini." Melissa licked her lips.

"What color?" Kaname found herself asking, automatically.

"White." Melissa said. "It was very skimpy..." She held her thumb and forefinger close together.

"Oooooh…" Kaname's eyes flashed. A white bikini! She thought back to a certain day at the beach. A white bikini featured prominently in her memory._  
_  
"She had neglected to tie her string very well... accidentally of course..." Melissa chuckled, seeing the look in Kaname's eyes.

"It fell off... _right?" _Kaname scowled.

"Of course. And being as clumsy as she is, she tripped and fell into Sousuke's arms." Melissa wrapped her arms around herself.

"Of course."

"Sousuke helped her up, blushing up a storm. He asked her what parts were defective." Melissa fell out of her chair laughing. "He meant Arbalest, of course. But, the timing was perfect. You can imagine how Tessa took it."

Kaname looked as if she had swallowed her tongue. Then her eyes closed as a huge smile filled her face. "No matter what happens, I think Sousuke deserves a kiss for that!" Kaname gave Melissa a 'V'-sign.

Melissa's cellular phone rang. "Mao."

Kaname wondered who that was. Could it be Sousuke?_  
_  
"Yes, she's awake. Uh huh, I'm hanging in there… barely. I'm out of beer. In fact, I was about to leave. She'll be alright without any protection. If no one is after her when she's walking around unguarded on campus, why would they be looking to make a move on her in the hospital?"

"Is that Sousuke?" Kaname asked. "If it is, could I talk to him?"

Melissa continued speaking. "Have you gotten your own wounds tended to by someone other than yourself? Good. There's hope for you yet. I'm heading out." Melissa closed her phone.

"Was that Sousuke?" Kaname looked intense.

"Yes." Melissa smiled. "He hung up. Sorry." Turned away from Kaname, the other girl could not see her grin. "I'll be leaving now. Take care of yourself. Later."

Kaname's heart fell a she watched Melissa walk away. She had hoped that Sousuke would stop by and see her. After she had taken a bullet for him, he still kept away from her? That ingrate. That bastard!

_That heatless unfeeling cowardly jerk!  
_  
Kaname was still fuming when there was a knock at her doorframe. She looked up.

**_It was Sousuke._**


	8. Chapter 8

Kaname had to change gears unexpectedly.

One moment she was feeling sorry for herself and denigrating Sousuke simultaneously. The next, she found herself looking up, seeing him in the doorway, a basket in his hand.

She looked at him, her mouth open. Then she looked down at herself, seeing a hospital gown and smelling a strong odor of beer. _Great! _Girl thinks about boy. Girl Chases boy. Boy finds girl. Girl is dressed in beer-soaked plain-looking hospital gown.

"Uh... Kaname."

Why is he just standing there like an idiot?It's OK for him to come into the damn room. I don't have an communicable disease or something!

"Sousuke... um, hi..."

Oh, wonderful. I get shot in the shoulder and my tongue stops working. I wonder if the doctors will have some fancy sounding words to describe how _that_ happened.

_Just once, don't I deserve a break?_

"Thephysicians tell me that you will heal well with no significant side effects." Sousuke's eyes wandered around the room, taking in the aftermath of Melissa's visit. His eyes lingered briefly on Kaname, and then looked away.

Uh huh. Thanks for the news flashDon't be bashful... why don't you just throw caution to the wind and discuss the weather?

"It is also a very pleasant day outside. Your trip home should be uneventful." Sousuke's hand twitched, causing the plastic wrap surrounding the basket make a crinkling sound.

"Ooooooh..." Kaname clenched her hands into fists.

"Kaname! Are you in pain? Should I summon your caregivers?" Sousuke's posture changed abruptly. He looked like he did at the Advanced Research Lab, ready to act on the slightest of impulses. His face looked very concerned.

That's a little better. So you do care about me in some way, do you?_  
_  
"I can handle the pain, Sousuke. What I _can't_ deal with at the moment is an otaku just standing in my door." Kaname winced. That didn't sound the way she wanted it to.

"Understood. I will leave then. My apologies, I simply wanted…" Sousuke's words were drowned out by a sudden shout.

"**SOUSUKE!**" Kaname banged her hand hard on her bed railing. It hurt! _"Owwww..."_

"Should I put that railing down? Or would you prefer that I leave and ask a nurse to do it for you?" Sousuke's face was unreadable.

"**_NO!_**" Kaname bit her tongue and worked on her composure. "No, Sousuke. You should simply walk into the room like any _normal_ visitor would do. You're a Specialist, if I remember correctly. Surely you can manage that without back-up..."

If you want to do something, you have to do it yourself. Big idiot! _  
_  
"I... yes." Sousuke took one whole step into the room.

Kaname squeezed her eyes shut real hard and sat that way for a moment, trying to calm herself.

"Ahhh... if you do not wish to look at me, Kaname... I will leave this and depart..." There was a definite sound of uncertainty and discomfort in Sousuke's voice.

"Sousuke... _the chair_... pull it close to the bed... _sit in it_... and say nothing..." Kaname opened her eyes and watched as Sousuke did as he was instructed.

At least the moron listened. I can't complain too much about his military training!

Sousuke still wasn't making eye contact with Kaname. Naturally, she noticed that. "Speak, Sousuke!" Kaname stopped, just as she was about to bring her arm down hard again.

"I am sorry, Kaname." Sousuke held out the basket to Kaname. "You are in the hospital because of me. It was my mistake."

Kaname's eyes widened. That colossal jerk fights off a group of rabid terrorists... saves who knows what... ends up wounded himself... and is ashamed that she got hurt helping him? _Of course._ It's Sousuke.

"I will not stay long. I do not wish to cause you any emotional discomfort." Sousuke looked at Kaname's face for a moment, and then turned away.

Kaname looked down at the basket. She opened the plastic, finding a cantaloupe inside. Her first thoughts were not complimentary. She was under whelmed, to say the least. A melon! Great. Splendid. How rare._  
_  
She didn't often buy melon. Years ago, when she and her family lived in the States, she had taken that kind of fruit for granted. But, she forced herself to recall one very important fact. In parts of Japan, a single perfect cantaloupe, circled with a ribbon and nested in its own wicker gift basket, could sell for $100 to $250 American dollars. In Japan, such fruit was considered a luxury item and a fine gift.

"I selected one that was beautiful, blemish-free and uniformly sized. I checked with the manager, sales clerk, and produce sorter... there are no pesticide residues." Sousuke sounded somewhat defensive.

"It's very nice, Sousuke. Thank you." That meant that the otaku had subsequently bought a basket and arranged things himself. _Wow._ Should she check to make certain it wasn't booby trapped? No, she had something else to ask. "It's not part of a game, is it? We're not going to wear blind folds and shoot it are we?" Memories of the beach returned.

"Kaname? Should we?" Souske's voice was incredulous.

"No, Sousuke. I was just joking. Reminiscing." That ought to have him thinking about the old days, too. "I'm glad to see you didn't bring a shotgun or a blindfold." She smiled, then put on a staged and serious look. "There's no bomb or grenade inside, is there?"

"Kaname! Not in a hospital!" There was a spark of life in his voice. "But if you like..." He reached into his bag.

"You better not..." Kaname had no idea what he was thinking. If that jerk takes out a grenade, he will be wearing this melon, so help me God!

"Kaname?" Sousuke held his combat knife. "I was going to cut it up for you, before I left." His voice suggested that he had used the opportunity to reach into his back to make her wonder if he might actually take out a grenade.

"Oh." That's sweet. Wait a minute. "Sousuke, is that the knife you threw at the man who shot me?"

"Affirmative. It is a very good knife." Sousuke blushed. Kaname had to give him credit. He wasn't as clueless as before. "My apologies. I will get an appropriate utensil from the cafeteria..."

"Sit down! That will be fine. As long as you cleaned it." There was something fierce stirring inside of Kaname. The thought of that knife killing the man who had shot her made it an icon of sorts. "And you will _not_ be speaking about leaving until I give you permission. Do we understand one another?"

"But----"

"**SOUSUKE!**"

"Yes." Sousuke's expression was one of uncertainty. Kaname didn't mind. It was his turn to get to be tied in knots some.

"That's better. Now, when you walk into a girl's hospital room, what should you do?" Kaname would have to walk him through things.

"I apologize, Kaname. I should have checked the room. I had assumed, with Melissa having been here..."

"**_SOUSUKE SAGARA!_**" Kaname looked at the cord that lead to her call button. She could strangle him with that. Just a little bit. Until he turned blue in the face...

"I was joking, Kaname." Sousuke sat back in his chair, still obviously uncomfortable. "How are you feeling? Hopefully the wound was well treated."

Kaname hadn't expected Sousuke to joke like that. That was certainly new. The big idiot! Well, she could play along too.

"You can tell me..." Kaname slowly slid the top of her gown off of the afflicted shoulder.

"Uh... Kaname..." Sousuke blinked rapidly.

"You're right, I should just take the whole gown off. I think they left my undergarments on underneath." She leaned back, thrust her chest out, and began working at the tie behind her gown.

"Ummmm... _uh_..." Sousuke was sweating now.

Kaname stopped, fighting back a smile. "Something wrong, Sousuke?"

"I just wanted to thank you for saving my life." Sousuke's words came out in a great rush. He looked relieved when Kaname lowered her arms.

"How do you want to thank me, Sousuke?" Kaname smiled. "You can start by telling me if they doctors did a good job on my shoulder. I wouldn't want anything to be _defective_..." She started playing with her gown again.

This is fun. I can't believe a battle-worn soldier is blushing like a school boy. It's good to have the power.

"I will trust in their judgment, Kaname!" Sousuke forced himself to stare at the melon.

"Oh... I don't know... this _should _be right up your alley..." Kaname grinned. "If what Melissa said was true, you were able to assess Tessa well enough in the tub room." Kaname smiled and tossed her hair. Sousuke's look had been priceless. "I was joking, Sousuke." Her eyes narrowed. "Would this be a good time to carry on our prior discussion?"

"Kaname?" Sousuke cocked his head, wondering what she was talking about.

"You know. You were going to tell me how I had… _matured_..." Kaname grinned. That ought to teach him. Making me run all over campus. Avoiding me and my messengers.

Sousuke's face went very serious. Something was obviously on his mind. Kaname found herself holding her breath.

_Was something wrong?_ Did she cross over some line with him? She was just playing...

"Why were you in the Advanced Research Laboratory building, Kaname?" Sousuke walked over, picked up the trash receptacle, and sat back down. He began working on the melon.

"I..." Kaname felt tongue-tied. Why did she feel like a little girl caught with he hand in the cookie jar? She was an adult after all! And the nerve of Sousuke. She was in the middle of teasing him!_  
_  
Sousuke had the melon halved and cleaned in the wink of an eye. With a few deft moves of his knife, he removed a number of perfectly-shaped cubes. Laying them flat on the blade, he offered them to Kaname.

"What I meant to say was..." Kaname tightened up again. Almost shyly, she reached out and took the offered fruit.

Sousuke traced his finger over the inside of the remaining melon skin. He didn't look up.

"I wanted to find some way to talk with you again. I wasn't really snooping into things I had no business with, you know? I certainly wasn't planning on getting shot! _Hmmmpppfff!"_ Kaname folded her arms over her chest. It hurt to do that. Damn him.

"I see." Sousuke didn't say anything after that. He continued to examine the minute details of the melon skin.

Kaname waited. There had to be more than 'I see.' Didn't there?The silence soon became oppressive. Kaname didn't know whether to be disappointed, worried, or furious.

"Sousuke, when a girl goes out of her way to see you... and gets shot in the process... you can at least pay her _some_ attention.

"Why?" Sousuke looked up at Kaname's face.

"Huh? Why should you pay attention?" Kaname scowled. Her hands clenched and unclenched. He couldn't be that cold and inconsiderate, could he? Hadn't he shown signs of...

"Why did you go out of your way to talk to me?" The look on Sousuke's face was vulnerable, for just a brief moment. But, Kaname had been watching at that instant.

This is it, Kaname. You were waiting for this moment. Don't blow it!

"Ummm..." Kaname felt tongue-tied.

Perfect! That will do it, alright. Champagne for every one!

"I wanted to..." She still couldn't get the words out.

Come on! Out with it already. This could be your last chance. That damn phone of his will probably ring any second now!

"I needed to tell you that... _ummm_.…" Kaname clenched her fists. I wanted to let you know that you didn't make me feel uncomfortable. I... _ummmm_…" She straightened her shoulders. "I wanted to spend some time with you again. I... you know…" Her face reddened. She trembled ever so slightly. An emotional dam inside of her broke. "I'm so sorry, Sousuke..."

Kaname looked over at Sousuke and began crying. Melissa's words rang in her ears. Her thoughts from the past few days sprang up again. She remembered her own feelings of pain and desolation from three years ago. Images from the darkened park flashed across her mind.

_It was all vying for her attention at the same time._

Sousuke looked confused. It was obvious that he didn't know what to say or do. His hands twitched. He probably didn't know what to feel, either. He stood up and began walking.

Kaname thought he was going to leave. No. Damn you. I said I was sorry! _Stay!  
_  
Picking up a box of tissues from a cart near the door, Sousuke walked back to Kaname's bed. Wordlessly, he held the box out to Kaname.

"Th-Th-Thank you..." Kaname sniffled. Sousuke's simple gesture had her heart in her throat. Why?

"It is not a problem." Sousuke's voice sounded strange.

Kaname would have given anything to know what he was thinking... what he was feeling...

His shoulders straightened. His eyes closed, then opened more intense than before. He opened his mouth, but closed it again.

What? What was he just about to say?

Sousuke ran his hand through his hair. "You have grown more beautiful, Kaname." The words came out in a rush. Sousuke held his hands out, spreading apart his fingers, as if he were willing himself to go on and to be calm. "Although, to be honest, I prefer your mother's kimono to a beer-stained hospital robe."

He looked away then.

Why? I want to see his eyes! Damn you Sousuke...

Kaname opened her mouth to speak. She couldn't spare the time or energy. She kept replaying Sousuke's words over and over again. Why did she suddenly feel dizzy?

"I owe you my life, Kaname." Sousuke's voice was stern, hard. His face had its stiff look again. "As a result, I must _always_ put your well being ahead of my own, no matter what I may personally wish."

"Sousuke? What…" Kaname froze. No! He wasn't going to go all noble again, was he? That insufferable jerk! If he was going to tell her that he wanted to see her again...but wouldn't do so in order to spare her heart... she'd... she'd... _oooooh…_

"Accordingly, I must inform you of the following decision. I hope you will not judge me harshly. You should realize that the following words will be _extremely_ difficult for me." Sousuke swallowed. He closed his eyes for a moment.

Kaname closed her eyes too. She felt so terribly numb. After all she had been through... to come so close... and then have it snatched out of her grasp... it just wasn't fair.

"I will acquiesce. I will tell you how you have matured over the years." Sousuke grinned ever so briefly.

"How could you... what did you say?" Kaname's eyes snapped open.

"Uh... how should I put this..."

Sousuke's phone rang. Kaname wanted to scream.

"Sagara." Sousuke listened. "Now?" He listened some more. "Yes, that will require my presence."

Kaname wanted to grab that phone... break it into a thousand pieces... and tell Sousuke that _she _needed his presence.

"Understood. I will depart immediately. Sagara out." Sousuke put away his phone. He looked disappointed and relieved at the same time. "My apologies, Kaname. I..."

"Duty calls?" Kaname couldn't keep the disappointment and exasperation out of her voice.

"Yes. It was good seeing you." He walked over to the door. "Do not feel you need to be a stranger," he said, somehow managing to keep a straight face. He tossed his bag over his shoulder and walked out of the room.

"Ooooh... I... _Sousuke_..." Kaname sat in her bed, wishing she had thrown a pillow at him while she had the chance. A pillow... her bedpan... the telephone... her guard rail... the chair...

Sousuke leaned around the corner of the door. He took a moment to watch Kaname's reaction, knowing she didn't realize that he was there. "And I should say before I go..."

Kaname looked at Sousuke, surprised.

"You are probably less defective than Tessa." With that, Souske was gone.

Soon thereafter, a nurse stopped by, wondering why Kaname's pillows, sheets, and slippers were out in the hallway.


	9. Chapter 9

Late again.

She was going to be late to class _again!  
_  
Damn that Sousuke. It was all his fault, one way or another.

Her new alarm clock had worked just fine. Breakfast had gone smoothly. Even the shower came off without a hitch, considering that her wound was still sore and she needed to be careful keeping the bandage dry.

The problems started when she tried to find the right outfit to wear.

That damn bandage ruled out some things, but that wasn't the major issue. Just how should she look? She wanted to catch Sousuke's eye in a big way, but didn't want to seem too obvious about it. Of course, with Sousuke, she might be able to wear a sign around her neck that read _'Kaname wants you to look at her'_ and he would still be oblivious. Moron!_  
_  
Would too much cleavage scare him away... trip up his otaku tongue... or heat up the hidden passion within him? _Was_ there any hidden passion? There had _better_ be hidden passion!

No, she should worry more about what kind of reaction she would get from the gnat-like cloud of boys she wanted to avoid.

Of course, she had to try it on and see any way. She couldn't help if she spent some time fantasizing...

After she finally had her clothing picked out, she had needed to sort through accessories and jewelry. She had to! It wasn't as if such things were optional. One thing caught her eye. She thought she had thrown it away once upon a time. She hadn't. It was the bracelet that Sousuke had made for her, just before she had been taken captive by A21. No matter what else she would put on, she'd wear that.

Again, who could fault her for taking a few minutes to reminisce? In any case, if all that wasn't bad enough, she hadn't been able to stop thinking about her meeting with Sousuke in the hospital. That had proven a bit of a distraction.

'_You are in the hospital because of me._ _It was my mistake.'_

No. It had been_ her _mistake that got her injured. Her tripping. What a wonderful accident. That bit of understandable clumsiness ended up working where everything else had failed. Maybe she should take a page out of Tessa's book, but make better use of it. There would be all sorts of possibilities, if she suddenly developed a tendency to fall against Sousuke with some degree of regularity.

Naturally, she had needed to daydream about that for a bit, too.

_'I apologize, Kaname. I should have checked the room. I assumed, that with Melissa here.…'_

That little ploy had done more to pique Kaname's curiosity than anything else had. It had been slid in there with the subtlety of a small stiletto blade under the ribs. She would never have caught on that he was being sly, if he hadn't told her.

Just how sophisticated had he become? It could be fun finding out. If he gave her the opportunity. That big jerk better not play hard to get or anything! Now that she had decided to pursue him, why should he be allowed any choice in the matter?

_'You're right, I should just take the whole gown off. I think they left my undergarments on underneath.'_

She had chuckled wickedly when she recalled the response she got from Sousuke. He couldn't be too sophisticated, at least not in certain areas. That's OK. People come to college to learn, don't they? There appeared to be areas of his education that had been sorely neglected. Kaname Chidori was a kind hearted and generous girl, wasn't she? In that spirit, she could offer a lonely and confused soldier the guidance he so desperately needed.

More time had been frittered away in daydreams after she _boarded that _train of thought.

_'I needed to tell you that... ummm.…I wanted to let you know that you didn't make me feel uncomfortable. I... ummmm… I wanted to spend some time with you again. I... you know…'_

Well, it may not have been a triumph for the ages, but she had gotten the words out. Of course, with the opportunity sitting right there for him to capitalize on, Sousuke didn't take advantage of it.

Moron! Idiot! Jerk! Well, that wasn't entirely true. He had done something right.

_'You have grown more beautiful, Kaname.'  
_

He wasn't all bad, was he? That time, those words had been electric. It wasn't the first time he had said she was beautiful, but the words came out unsolicited this time. She felt warm just thinking about it again. But, she didn't want to have him thinking of her as a painted China doll or some holy Madonna on a pedestal. That was how he thought about Tessa, and it certain;y didn't do her any good, did it?

"I wonder what he might say next," Kaname asked herself, smiling. Part of her offered a word of caution. She should always keep in mind, this was Sousuke she was talking about. He was once just as adept at blowing up her hopes, dreams, and wishes, as he was destroying love letters, class rooms, and assorted school property.

Would he open up to her and share his feelings, now that she was no longer in the hospital? Would he even seek her out, if he didn't feel like he was in her debt anymore...

"No. I don't want to think about _that!_ Hmmmpppfff!"

In his own way, Sousuke had been somewhat playful after he realized that she didn't hate him. She had been surprised by that at first, but soon viewed his newer attitude with one part wonder and two parts hope.

_'Accordingly, I must inform you of the following decision. I hope you will not judge me harshly. You should realize that the following words will be extremely difficult for me.'_

"Oooooooh."

That scoundrel! He really had her going with those words. That was unforgivable. No, it was forgivable, with the right incentives! She would eventually let him know what they were. Yes, his tongue had loosened considerably alright. She hadn't seen that one coming. But, just when things were getting good, that dratted phone rang again!

"He could have said something just a little bit romantic on the way out. And he could have given me his telephone number, the big stupid head!"

It didn't matter that he had walked in thinking she didn't care about him and didn't really want to see him. That moron should have left with some inkling of what was in her heart and on her mind.

Well. Did he? There was good reason to think that he did. Regardless, he would have to pay. Somehow. And then, he would have to pay again. Until his penance was paid off lock, stock, and barrel!

_'Yes. It was good seeing you. Do not feel you need to be a stranger.'_

A stranger? After all of her efforts to corner him and speak to him? Sure, she loved seeing that spark in him. It hinted at a growth and maturity she almost couldn't comprehend. But it was inexcusable for him to tease her like that!

It would have been OK, if he had given her a chance to get in the last word…

_'You are probably less defective than Tessa.…'_

That one really sealed his fate. Bad move, Mr. I'm Such a Good Soldier and Skilled Tactician. Sousuke Sagara may have won the battle. But, Kaname Chidori was determined to win the war.

All she needed was the proper plan of attack. She had spent time she didn't have riding that train of thought too.

When Kaname finally got around to checking the time, she cursed. She would have to run.

Literally.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It wasn't actually comfortable to jog.

Especially since she had chosen her shoes more for their look than for their practicality.

Add to that fact that her shoulder ached, and Kaname had reason to be in a mildly unhappy mood. As it turned out, she wouldn't have to run for all that long.

Everywhere she went, people who knew her wanted to know how she was doing. Apparently, someone had seen her being carried away from the scene of the attack in Sousuke's arms, blood staining the front of her blouse. There had been word that a student had been shot, in addition to the other casualties and architectural damage that resulted from the second attack.

_It was the hot topic of the day._

She thanked her well wishers,doubting she could make it to class on time, now. If she couldn't, maybe her wounds and newfound celebrity could work to her benefit. Chances were, that her teacher would excuse her from the day's assignment, given the fact that she had been in the hospital overnight.

As dedicated she was about her education, the fact that she might get in trouble for missing class was not her major concern at the moment. She was thinking about Sousuke again. Would she come across him today? He should be in the classes they had together, unless he was caught up with things at the Advanced Research Laboratory.

That big jerk never contacted her after he left the hospital. He could have called. No doubt he could find her number if he wanted to. Didn't he want to call her?_  
_  
Kaname sighed. She was roller-coastering again. Confident one moment, and then doubtful the next. She needed an answer, one way or another. If she didn't get one, it wouldn't matter whether she made it to class or not. She'd be a wreck. Damn that Sousuke!

"Well well _well_… Kaname Chidori. Word is that you got shot..." It was one of the boys from the soccer team.

Wonderful. The boy she wants to see is nowhere to be found; but, the guys she has no desire to see are always much too easy to find. She must have done something really bad in another life.

"Only seems fitting, seeing how many guys have been shot down asking you out on a date!" The guy grinned, looking as if he had accomplished something splendid.

One of his friends walked up and joined in. "I hear they took you to the hospital, though. That _can't_ be right, can it? Don't they take bitches to the Veterinary facilities?" He laughed at his joke, slapping hands with his buddy.

Kaname opened her mouth to make an angry reply. She didn't have the opportunity. Sousuke walked up along an adjoining walkway.

"Pardon me, Miss Chidori. But I would like to have a word with these two fine citizens." He put his arms around the shoulders of the two jokers and led them behind a stand of tall shrubs. A few moments later he walked out again. Alone.

"Sousuke... what did you do..." Kaname had her hand at her mouth. She was hiding a smile. She was rather pleased at the turn of events, but thought that it would be irresponsible to encourage Sousuke to behave in a violent fashion.

"Kaname?" Sousuke's face was clueless in the extreme. Kaname was not fooled.

"Those guys, Sousuke. What did you do to them?" Kaname furrowed her brow.

"I discussed the proper manner of address to use with wounded personnel. It will require additional thought. They decided to sleep on it." No smile. Not even a smirk. Kaname couldn't read what Sousuke was feeling.

The big inconsiderate jerk.He should at least look for appreciation or approval. She was a good looking girl. He was a red-blooded boy. Flirting was required. Why didn't he just play by the rules!

"Oh. I'm happy to hear that." Kaname gave Souske her best smile. "Are you walking to class now, or do you have to go... you know..." Perfect lead in. If he's walking, she can ask to walk with him. That would be one foot inside the door._  
_  
"I am headed for class. This bag serves multiple purposes." Sousuke held up his weapons bag. "Since we are headed in the same direction, I will carry your burden as well." Souske held out his hand.

Placing the strap of her knapsack over Sousuke's arm, Kaname let her hand linger on his. She grinned evilly when she saw him swallow, then put on an uninterested expression. Uh huh. Nice try, Mister. Fasten your seat belt.

"Thank you, Sousuke. You are quite the gentleman. Kind. Curteous. _Handsome_..." Kaname barely kept from laughing when she saw Sousuke blush. "Strong. Considerate. Did I mention handsome?"

"Uhhh... affirmative..." Sousuke walked slowly, keeping pace with Kaname.

The sun shone down brightly, no longer covered by one of the towering clouds that dotted the striking blue sky. The tantalizing but fleeting scent of the food shops beyond the tree line drifted on the breeze.

There was the sound of whistling. It was Kaname. She had found something to do that she considered more important than the first period class. Looking at Souske with an almost predatory grin, she wondered if he had any inkling of what was in store for him. She looked him up and down, taking in the cut of his clothes... the way he did his hair... his more masculine build...everything.

He had the large bag up over his shoulder. Her book bag was in one hand. That left one hand free. Mmmm Hmmm._  
_  
"Sousuke, seeing that I did save your life and all, do you suppose it would be alright if I ask you a favor?" Kaname made her voice sound timid, but not so much so that it would be out of character.

"You may ask, Kaname." Sousuke smiled.

Kaname narrowed her eyes. So, he was feeling confident enough to make his own joke, was he? She could ask, but that didn't mean he'd say 'yes'?

Uh huh. That's what he thinks. She would never think of trying to teach him about military things. So, he should be very careful when he wanders into _her_ balliwick.

"Could you hold my hand, Sousuke?" Kaname smirked when she saw Sousuke stumble. There hadn't been a single crack or divit in the pathway.

"Your hand, Kaname?" Sousuke had that nervous expression she knew so well. Some things never change.

"Yes Sousuke. The thing with five fingers, located at the end of my arm. You've seen them before. Come to think of it, you have two of your own, don't you?"

Kaname was having fun. It was hard to believe that she had almost been killed the day before. She found it even harder to believe that she had to make so much of an effort just to get the opportunity to talk with Sousuke.

Now, she just needed to find the right approach and the right words. One thing was certain, however. She would _not_ learn to speak otaku. She had to draw the line somewhere.

"Yes... but..." Beads of sweat began forming on Sousuke's forehead.

"That was a 'yes or no' question, Souske." Kaname's voice was firm. She was not about to let him slip past this one. She turned to give Sousuke a good view of her contours, while the wind lifted her hair up and gave it a life of its own.

"Uhhh..."

"No, not 'uh', Sousuke. 'Yes' or 'no'. Did you understand my question?" That trick ought to work.

"Yes..."

"That was the right answer!" Kaname grabbed Sousuke's hand. She interlaced her fingers with his. Such a simple thing. Why did it make her feel so good? What was Sousuke feeling?

"I meant..."

"Did you mean 'no', Souske?" Kaname stopped. She put on a wounded expression.

"No. I mean I..." Souske swallowed. "Won't people think that the two of us are..."

"Seeing each other?" Kaname raised an eyebrow. She wished that she had a picture of Sousuke's face at that moment. Things got better when they passed by a number of students who shared classes with them.

Kaname made it a point to brush up against Sousuke. She wished that he would put an arm around her.

"Correct." Sousuke blinked rapidly when he saw some of the students look in their direction and began whispering to one another.

"Well, they certainly might Sousuke. Would that be a bad thing?" Kaname tried to keep her voice as emotionless as possible. She had to take things nice and easy. There was no sense in scaring him away.

_Just like with the capture of any wild animal, she had to get him to feel like the trap area is safe_.

"Uhhh..." Sousuke swallowed hard. "No, it would not. At least, I do not think so…"

"Good. I'm glad that it's not a bad thing, the fact that we're seeing each other now. _It's _about time, isn't it?" She knew that he meant that 'people thinking that they were an item' was not a bad thing. Did he know that she knew? It didn't matter.

A strong gust of wind had a huge swath of leaves taking wing, dancing around the two of them, landing on their heads and shoulders when the wind abruptly gave out.

"But..."

"Are you saying that you don't want to see me, Souske?" Kaname pouted. She looked away from Sousuke. She started pulling leaves off of her coat.

"You _are_ pleasant to look at, Kaname." Sousuke's voice was flat, without a hint of humor. His eyes seemed glued to her.

"That's _not_ what I mean, Sousuke!" She stamped her foot, realizing too late that Sousuke was trying to cover his discomfort with a joke. She had an answer for that, too. "OK. Are you saying that you _do_ want to see me, Sousuke?"

"Kaname, won't you be late for class..." Sousuke looked at his watch and started walking, pulling her behind him.

"**SOUSUKE!**" Kaname froze. Her voice carried far in the morning air. She saw a number of people in the distance turn and look in her direction.

"Kaname?" Sousuke rubbed the back of his neck.

"Oooh! You're making this so difficult, do you know that? It might be more fun to have a tooth extracted!" Kaname snapped her mouth shut. She needed to stay in control, now more than ever. The ball was rolling. She needed to advance it towards the goal, not boot it out of bounds.

Sousuke's tilted his head. "What would, Kaname?"

Kaname just stood there glaring at Sousuke. Then she began to look sheepish. Was this Sousuke's way of playing? Could it actually be a good sign? "I've missed you, Sousuke. More than I realized. A lot more than I was willing to admit to myself."

Her confession had just come spilling out. She watched Sousuke's face go through a whole series of emotions as he looked at her. Finally, he looked contemplative. Turning, he spent some time watching a noisy squirrel in the tree branches above him. He closed his eyes when the breeze caressed his face.

Kaname came close to asking him what he was feeling. She began to feel a bit worried, even vulnerable. What if he didn't really want to go out with her, much less talk to her? Was she coming on too strong? Why didn't he just say something? Anything!

_Had she already scared him away and ruined her opportunity?_

It didn't matter how much she wanted them to take a chance on each other again. If he didn't want the same thing, she didn't want him to do something just to please her. It had to be something that he wanted, too. _Really_ wanted...

"Kaname..." Sousuke started to speak, his eyes looking open and warm. But he stopped and sighed. His hand let go of hers, allowing him to massage his forehead. Something was still holding him back. It wasn't to difficult to guess what it was.

Unless...

"Is there someone else, Sousuke?" Kaname decided that she might as well bring her greatest fear to voice. "You have quite a group of beauties vying for your attention, after all." Kaname was proud that she had managed to keep her voice even and strong.

Sousuke bowed his head.

Kaname felt as if her very blood had frozen. Was his reaction a 'Yes'? She ducked her head when a strong gust of wind blew around her.

Souske put both of their bags down. He looked at Kaname, opened his mouth, then looked down.

"I see. You don't have to name names, Sousuke. I just needed to..." Kaname couldn't help herself. Her voice gave her disappointment away.

"No." Sousuke spoke quietly, bringing his eyes up to Kaname's.

"Sousuke?"

"There is no one, Kaname. I have felt the need for companionship... and other things... Often." Sousuke looked away. "The girls who congregate around me are very attractive... and their attention is flattering, and frightening... but..."

"But _what, _Sousuke?" Kaname swallowed. Should she get her hopes up? Even if he didn't have anyone else, did he want anyone at all?

Sousuke bent over, picked up a pine cone, and threw it far up into the canopy of the trees. "None of them is as beautiful as you, Kaname." He picked up a rock and rolled it over in his hand. "None of them _were_ you..."

"Oh. I see," It was Kaname's turn to try and find the words she wanted. She held out her hand and took the rock from Sousuke. She threw it at a tree, hitting close to the mark she had aimed for.

She should be feeling like she was on Cloud Nine. But, something still nagged at her. He hadn't come out and expressed any enthusiasm at all about the idea of getting together with her. She wasn't even certain how he felt, simply being able to see her again.

"Could you please just tell me then, Sousuke... would you like it if we... you know…if we were a couple?" There it was. She had put all of her cards on the table. It almost felt as if her entire life rested on whatever Sousuke might say next.

Sousuke looked up at the vast expanse the sky. His eyes followed the contour of the tall and majestic clouds. He breathed in deeply, then sighed again. "I don't know if it matters what I want..." Sousuke looked so sad for a moment, that Kaname wanted to hold him against her and caress him. "I don't suppose it _ever_ has..."

The young soldier's words bowled Kaname over like a large wave at the beach. For a moment, her feelings tumbled her around more than any wave ever could. A small voice spoke up inside of her, uninvited. She had contributed to some of that sense of hopelessness. Right?

"Oh, Sousuke. It does matter. You matter... at least to _me_." Kaname's voice cracked. She felt as if tears were about to come. He must be hurting inside again. Maybe she should back away some, respecting his feelings. But, something told her to take things further.

She had to touch part of Sosusuke's pain. Maybe she could help somehow. "You mattered to me before, too. So much so, that I hurt too much to... to even... to be able to..." Her words fizzled out.

"Talk to me..." Sousuke's eyes were filled with pain long past, along with current doubts.

Kaname tried to speak, but couldn't. She knew what Sousuke's unspoken question was. If she had done it once, how could he be certain that she wouldn't do it again? Why take the chance... open up his defenses... only to have someone he trusted strike him a mortal blow?  
_  
_Her thoughts thundered with the words she wanted to say. Please Sousuke. Give me a chance. Just one more chance. I've changed. I understand you now. I understand me. Please.

"If you don't think I'm worth taking a chance, Sousuke, then I..." Kaname stopped, taken aback at the look on Sousuke's face.

"If there is anyone worth taking a risk for..." Sousuke's vehemence crested, and then died out.

Looking embarrassed, he turned away from Kaname. Leaving the bags behind him. he walked over to a large oak. Sighing, he set his forehead against the bark. A group of crows took flight, leaving the branches far above his heads. Their raucous cries carried on for some time, growing ever so distant sounding.

Kaname shivered. She couldn't even begin to imagine the full set of memories that Sousuke must have. The small amount of history that he had shared with her was enough to give her nightmares.

She knew what she needed to do, and what she wanted to say. Trying to respect Sousuke's space, but needing to say what was on her mind, she took short steps in his direction, stopping, and then starting again. "You don't need to worry about anything I asked you, Souske." She knelt down in front of him so she could see his face. "None of that matters now. I treated you wrong before, even though I thought I was doing what I needed to do. I can't promise that I wouldn't hurt you again. All that really matters is that you know I _care."_

Sousuke closed his eyes. His shoulders bunched up, then relaxed. He stood there silently, the breeze catching at the edges of his unzipped jacket.

"Sousuke. More than anything else I want... I would... I need to ask if you forgive me..." Kaname couldn't help herself. She started to cry again. She placed her head against the tree too. Why did the pain she once felt to rise up again now?_  
_  
_Anyone watching them would have wondered if they were in their right minds._

The silence stretched on, but neither had any idea how long it lasted. Sousuke eventually stood up... reached over... and pushed Kaname's windblown hair away from her face. He plucked a small piece of bark out of her hair and handed it to her.

Standing there, he looked so strong to Kaname. It was an amazing transformation, considering the feelings that he must have been wrestling with. She parted her lips, hoping that he had some crumb of hope to throw her. More than anything else, she wanted to be able to offer some kind of hope to him.

"You have forgotten what I told you once, Chidori." His voice was not what Kaname had expected. It caused her to swallow hard and straighten up. "There's no shame in that. I am as guilty as you are. Even more so."

"Sousuke?" Kaname took a step closer to him out of instinct. Suddenly, she wished that he would take her up in his arms and crush her against him.

"Didn't I tell you that when you were with me, I could do anything?" Sousuke's face was very serious, but there was no longer any source of sorrow or doubt.

"Yes..." Kaname took another step. She could hug him. It would be alright, wouldn't it. No. She had to listen to what he was trying to tell her.

"That includes forgiving you." Sousuke reached out, pulled a colorful leaf off of her coat.

"Really, Sousuke?"

"Affirmative." It was Sousuke's turn to take a step closer. "I forgive you, Kaname Chidori."

Kaname felt her heart beating faster and faster. For a moment, she felt a bit light-headed. A terrible weight was gone. She hadn't realized just how guilty she had been feeling.

They both stood there staring at each other, not knowing what to do or what to say. Kaname decided to go for broke. "So, if you will forgive me Sousuke... does that mean that you would be willing to see more of me... I mean see me more often..."

Sousuke just stood looking at her, as if seeing something miraculous for the first time, or finding something wonderful that was thought to have been lost forever. That caused Kaname to blush.

"Yes, Kaname." Sousuke nodded his head. "And yes." His eyes softened.

It was like spotting a rare bird. Kaname drank in the sight while she could. "Great. But..." Kaname had just figured out what Sousuke's dual answer meant and froze. Had he really said that? Yes. It was time to reinforce the situation. "So, now that you've said that Sousuke, have you burst into flames?" She held her chin up.

"No, Kaname." He looked at his hands, his feet, everything.

"Have you grown a set of horns?" She folded her hands across her chest.

"Not yet. Should I?" For some reason, that answer had Kaname pinking up again.

"Will it force you to resign your position with Mithril, forever walk the world in shame, and wonder if there is any reason left to go on living?" She started tapping her foot.

"Negative." Sousuke looked at her foot, and then at her face. He tried not to grin.

"Good." Kaname nodded her head forcefully, and then rubbed her hands together.

"Why, Kaname?" Sousuke put his clueless expression on again.

"Oh, no reason..." Kaname's smile lit up her face.

Sousuke kicked at some sticks with his shoe. Looking up at Kaname, he asked in a suddenly uncertain voice "So... what do we do now?"

"We go to class. What did you think we were going to do? Stay out here on some kind of nature hike? _Geez!"_ She fixed Sousuke's zipper, then zipped up his coat. She stepped back a moment, then made it a point to straighten out its collar.

"I..."

Kaname smiled and said "We take it one step at a time. OK? There is no sense risking something so special." She looked him square in the eyes. "Don't worry. I won't take advantage of you...unless you want me too..."

It was Sousuke's turn to get a little red in the face. Happily, Kaname ran back to the bags, and despite her bad shoulder, lugged them both over to Sousuke.

The two of them walked towards class, hand in hand.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When they reached the building for Kaname's next class, Sousuke handed her bag back, his fingers lingering on hers.

That simple touch had Kaname smiling. As she watched, Sousuke then took out a scrap of paper and a pen, and then wrote down his address, e-mail, and phone number for her.

"I should inform you of one thing," he said in a confident voice. He stepped back a step, allowing a group of students to enter the building.

"Sousuke?" Kaname smiled, wondering what he was going to say. He wasn't going to make some kind of major admission, was he?

"Back there, I knowingly permitted you to manipulate my feelings." He said it with a straight face. Kaname couldn't tell if he was being honest or facetious. But, she had a pretty good idea.

"Permitted me? _Permitted?"_ Her eyes narrowed. He owed her a confession or some kind of romantic promise. But, all things considered, she would settle for some spirited banter.

"Yes. Just this once." Sousuke smiled. He looked all too pleased with himself.

"Are you saying I _need_ your permission, Sousuke?" Kaname put her hands on her hips.

Sousuke smiled. He didn't say a word. He didn't have to.

"Oooh!" Kaname dropped her bag and grabbed hold of Sousuke's jacket. She gave him a strong shake. "Sousuke Sagara…"

"If you do not hurry inside Kaname, you will miss _another_ class." Sousuke smiled, looking fondly at Kaname.

Kaname scowled back at Sousuke, but couldn't keep it up. A huge smile lit up her face. She nodded her head.

"I will see you later, then." Sousuke saluted and began walking off for his building.

**"HEY!" **Kaname sounded somewhat cross. But, her voice softened. "Don't I get a kiss or something?"

He had made the mistake of agreeing to a relationship. It was her right to ask for whatever she wanted. She owned him. When the time was right, she would clue him in to that fact.

"One step at a time, Kaname. One step at a time..." Sousuke waved, as he started to walk. He stopped a moment, looked at her face, perhaps wanting the same thing that she did, but not feeling ready.

Kaname sighed. Everything in its own time. While she watched Sousuke walk away, a number of her friends walked up.

"Kaname, we were so worried. Are you OK?" They had been truly worried about her.

Still watching Sousuke, she answered "Yes."


	10. Chapter 10

Kaname gave up.

It had been a valiant effort, something the ancient Greeks or Scandinavians could have written about in their epics.

She knew when to bow her head and admit when she was defeated. She had tried. She really had. There was no way she could pay attention in class.

_'I forgive you, Kaname Chidori.'  
_  
Remembering those words made her sigh.

She was free. Free of the terrible chains of guilt. They had wrapped themselves tightly around her, link by link, without even knowing they were there. When she finally realized what she had done, there was little hope of release. With those five words, Sousuke had won her heart. Once and for ever._  
_  
_'Yes, Kaname,'_ he had said. _'And yes.'_

Deep in his heart, he wanted to be with her. He had feelings for her. He couldn't deny it, not even to himself. But, he had hinted at more. As much as he might wall him off from his feelings and desires, they still existed.

He didn't want those other girls. He wanted _her_. Kaname Chidori. She mattered. She wasn't just some kind of prize or trophy.

_'Didn't I tell you that when you were with me, I could do anything?'_

Those words gave her hope. With her help, he might be able to break free of his own chains. She wanted that more than anything, even if she had to pull apart the chain by hand, one link at a time. It wouldn't be easy.She remembered how shy he had been in high school. He was so naïve… so clueless. How could she bring him close to her without frightening him away?

_'When I'm with you, I feel like I can do anything. Catch a big one in a little bit of time, or escape a lethal situation.'_

Kaname smiled. Sousuke's own words from a distant day offered a interesting perspective. They had been fishing together at the time. They had caught a big fish. _Together._ While she might not be an avid fisherwoman, she remembered what Sousuke had told her, as if it were yesterday.

No, she didn't recall what a drag system was or how it worked. She had no idea what pound test meant, or what kind of line to use for various fish. She didn't know the various different equipment needed for inshore, off shore, and bottom fishing. But, she remembered the basics. It would be somewhat apropos if any of the hints she remembered helped her land Sousuke.

**TYING THE FISHERMAN'S KNOT**

_'Remember to use a slip-proof fisherman's knot.'**  
**_  
Yes, if she managed to set her hook in Sousuke, she didn't want to have him slip off of her line. This wasn't going to be some half-hearted attempt or a short-lived flirtation. While it was silly too think too far ahead, but Kaname had an undeniable feeling. She was going after the only fish that mattered for her. Now, and maybe forever.

**HOW TO BAIT A HOOK**

_'The tricky part of baiting a hook is getting the worm to stay on.'**  
**_  
Well, before she worried about that, she needed to settle on the bait to use. That wouldn't require much thought. He was a guy. She had what she needed to attract his attention. It wouldn't be falling off of the hook any time soon.

Kaname blushed. It was easy to sound so brazen. She hadn't really had much opportunity to practice the softer arts, despite all of the dates that she had been on.

**HOW TO CAST**

_'Everyone casts a bit differently, so don't be too concerned about form. An over-the-shoulder cast is traditional, but a sidearm cast keeps the swinging hook farther from the angler's face. The point of any cast is to get your bait where you want it.'**  
**_  
Mmmm Hmmmm That would be the first big challenge. She needed someway to bring Sousuke in close enough to see the lure, so she could get him to go after the bait. If she splashed her cast too violently, she might chase away her prey. A gentle touch and subtlety were required.

Ahhh. She had one thing in mind already. It was something simple that they could do together. It would be a way to grow accustomed to each other again, and start forming a common bond.

**SAFETY**

_'If you're anywhere near deep or running water, wear life jackets.'**  
**_  
That was good advice, but Kaname wanted nothing to do with it. This might be her only real shot at Sousuke. She would throw caution to the wind. Protection was a different matter. If they ever got around to...

She would fantasize about _that _later.

**LOCAL KNOWLEDGE**

_'Ask other anglers or at the tackle shop where the best ponds and streams can be found near you.'**  
**_  
Uh uh. No. Not possible. What girls were there for her to talk to find about Sousuke's likes, dislikes, turn-ons, and turn-offs? Only those damn harpies, and she doubted that Sousuke gave them the time of day.

For all she knew, she might even be headed into virgin waters.

**THINK LIKE A FISH**

_'How do fishermen find fish? By learning to think like one. Fish need food, but they also need protection from bigger fish. So in a typical site, try fishing where they can get both.'  
_  
Hmmmm. Having to learn to think like Sousuke? That was a frightening thought! But, seriously, if she was going to truly care for him, she would need to learn how he operated. She had ample experience with his conduct under fire. That was the professional Sousuke. She needed to grow to understand the personal Sousuke.

**CATCHING YOUR FISH**

Yes, the riskiest part, but also the most exciting. Half of the fun of fishing was being outside, near the water. The other half, of course, was catching the fish!

_'Wait a moment for the fish to take the bait and hook into its mouth, then point the rod at the fish, reel in the slack and firmly pull your rod tip up to set the hook. Tug it again to make sure it caught. If so, reel in your fish.'  
_  
If Sousuke were foolish enough to take the bait, she would let instinct take over. When the time was right, she was certain she'd know what to do. She blushed again, thinking about Sousuke taking the bait into his mouth.

It wouldn't do to think about such things in class! At least, not too much...

_'To reduce the risk of injury to a fish you plan to release, don't "play" the fish more than a couple of minutes...it can take a toll on the little creature'._

Too bad. Too damn bad. She was going to play with Sousuke as much as she could. Uh. Bad Kaname! Don't even think about 'little creature.'

**REMOVING THE HOOK**

Kaname didn't remember what Sousuke had said about that. It didn't matter, If she caught Sousuke, and he was the one for her, she had no intention of letting him go! Reality tried to sneak a word in edgewise, but she didn't want to hear it. Sure, he could be taken away from her again. That didn't mean he couldn't return. That didn't mean that he might not change his priorities in life.

The professor was still speaking. Kaname sighed. She looked down at her note pad, marveling at the doodles she had drawn. If this was high school, and the teacher confiscated her drawings...

Looking around, she made certain that no one else was looking at her work. It would probably be wise to destroy most if not all of the pictures. Then again, it might be fun to see what Sousuke thought of them some day.

When he was already firmly on the hook.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kaname sat patiently in her chosen seat.

Her pocket book and school supplies were on the seat beside her, saving a space.

Sousuke should be arriving any moment now. At least, she hoped he would. She had his home phone number, but hadn't thought to ask for his cellular phone number, or give him hers. If he had run off on business, she wouldn't know until after class started.

By the time the room was almost full, she began to worry. But, she also saw something that had the potential to be fun. Sousuke's never tiring groupies were in this class. When they saw him sit down next to her, they would probably have an apoplectic fit! _If_ that big idiot sat next to her...

He'd better! There was no reason to be shy or to keep anything a secret. They were college students, not high school kids. Kaname smiled. It was amusing to think what things might have been like if they had started dating in high school. She would probably have insisted that they keep things low key. But, there was no sense thinking about things that never were. She had something she wanted in the here and now.

Sousuke ran in, just as the professor was closing the door. He stood surveying the room. When he caught sight of Kaname, he smiled and waved. Kaname felt her heart start racing again._  
_  
Eyes only on him, she watched as he walked towards her. Wait! He veered to the left, heading right to where those girls were sitting. Kaname froze. Her eyes narrowed. If that idiot sat anywhere within five rows of those girls he would die. If he sat anywhere other than next to her, he would live a long and painful life.

Sousuke nodded his head politely to the clamoring young ladies, but didn't stop there. He took a book he had borrowed out of his handbag... gave it to a young man who had loaned it to him... and then traversed the row of seats until reaching the next stairwell. Moving ever so slowly, he made his way next to Kaname.

"You were in terrible danger, Sousuke." Kaname gave him a crooked smile.

"No, Kaname. I was in class last period." Sousuke took out his note book and writing utensils.

"That's _not_ what I meant, Sousuke." Kaname looked over at the girls. Their reaction was everything she could have hoped for and more. Feeling rather impish, she leaned up against Sousuke and placed her hand on his arm. She hoped with all her might that Sousuke wouldn't object.

"Kaname?" Sousuke looked down at her hand, but didn't move or say anything.

"Never mind, Sousuke. You made up for it."

Sousuke had a quizzical look. That was fine with Kaname. There was nothing wrong with keeping him guessing. "So, did you _miss_ me, Sousuke?" Kaname fluttered her eyelashes and put on her most winsome smile. Let's see how he reacts to that!There were more things than Calculus that she could take note of now.

"I was never aiming at you, Kaname." Sousuke took out a pencil sharpener and put it to use.

Kaname clenched her hands. Out of the corner of his eye, Sousuke took notice. Kaname noticed him take notice. He saw that too. "Never mind, Sousuke..." Kaname made herself sound sad and dejected.

"OK." Sousuke put the sharpener away and opened up a small package of replaceable pencil erasers.

Kaname bit her lip. Was Sousuke simply being clueless? Or, was he playing with her? "I see." Kaname was truly feeling a bit miffed.

"But I thought about you throughout class." Sousuke spoke very nonchalantly, as if discussing sports scores or the results of a minor international skirmish.

_"Really!"_ Kaname cursed her response the moment it was done. She was the one who was fishing for him, but he had just hooked her big time. Idiot. Moron. Jerk. Same goes for him!_  
_  
"What _did_ you think about, Sousuke?" She couldn't help herself. She wanted to know.

The professor tapped his pointer against the podium, silencing the class.

"I will tell you after class," Sousuke said quietly.

Kaname almost bent her textbook cover in half. "Sousuke..."

_"Shhhh..."_ Sousuke put his finger up on Kaname's lip.

Kaname was very tempted to bite him. Instead, she gave Sousuke's finger a lingering kiss. Sousuke swallowed hard, but didn't rush to move his finger away too quickly. The look on his face had been priceless. Kaname smiled. She gave Sousuke credit for trying, but he wasn't in her league. Her mischievous nature took over following that small victory. She knew she shouldn't do it, but she couldn't resist.

Reaching into her knapsack, she removed her notepad from the previous class. She flipped it open to one of her pages of doodles. Smiling, she placed it next to Sousuke's book.

Did he see it?

"Uh..." Sousuke's arm twitched. A number of small pink erasers bounced down the stairs.

He saw it.

No. He was definitely not in her league. That meant that he had catching up to do. When he was ready, she would give him some homework. There would be a final exam someday, and he had better be ready for it. Kaname would be a very strict grader.

As class went on, Kaname began to grow tired of mathematics. There was too much on her mind. Still, she needed to write down the problems that the teacher was solving. They were useful examples, and there was a chance that some of them would show up on the mid term exam.

_The curve y ln(3x 1) has a tangent line of slope ½ at some point. Find that point.**  
**_  
Kaname worked to see if she could arrive at the answer before the professor did. Looking over at Sousuke's notebook, she wanted to see how he was doing. For someone who had not shown the greatest aptitude in high school, he turned out to be pretty sharp. She wondered what the story behind that was. For a moment, she pictured him being tutored by Tessa. Then, she pictured him being tutored by Tessa in panties.

"Sousuke..." She whispered to herself.

"Kaname?" He held his finger up again. This time Kaname ignored it. He paid no attention to her glare.

Shaking away her unwanted visions, Kaname looked at what Sousuke was writing. It wasn't calculus:

_Tritium. Chemical twin of hydrogen. Scarce worldwide supplies. Research sources and production trends._

What was that crazy otaku up to nowShe couldn't spend too much time pondering. The teacher was moving on to the next problem.

_For each positive number_ a_, let V(a) denote the maximum value of (a/x) to the xth power on the interval where x 0. Find the an explicit formula for V(a) and prove that V'(a)/V(a) is independent of_ a_ and find its value.  
_  
That big idiot wasn't copying that down. Just what did he think he was doing? Hmmmm. Was he thinking that because she was his girlfriend now, that she could do all the work and he would just waltz in and copy it later? Oooooooooh. If he tried _that_...

Her curiosity getting the better of her again, Kaname looked down at Sousuke's paper.

_Thermal Cycling Absorption Process inefficient. Separation factors of 10 compared to expected separation factors of 500. Japanese cold fusion experiments show that it is possible to create tritium as well as enriched uranium able to be substituted for plutonium.  
_  
Cold fusion experiments?

He was jotting down his thoughts about his mission, no doubt. That made Kaname feel a burning need to know just what his assignment was. Would he tell her?She'd give him her class notes if he did.

Dammit girl! Stop sounding so needy...

_Suppose that the function f(x) is defined on an interval (a,b) where a 3 b. Express f'(3) as a limit.**  
**_  
Uh oh. She needed to stay focused. She scribbled down what the professor wrote, her mind too addled now to think through the problem by herself.

Would Sousuke share his secrets with her? It was a nagging question. Back when she was under the protection of Mithril, he told her a lot of things about the organization that weren't of the highest secrecy. He trusted her implicitly before. How about now? Would things be any different? Worse? Better? She smiled. It was never good to keep secrets in a relationship. 

Leaning against Sousuke again, she read some more.

_The same tabletop devices under development that may someday fulfill man's desire for creating abundant cheap energy could serve as a source for home-made H-bombs in the hands of terrorists?**  
**_  
Kaname swallowed hard. She had gotten so used to Sousuke in the past, that she sometimes took his job for granted. That last note he had jotted down made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end. He was someone of great importance in his own way. Who other than her knew that, here?

It made her feel giddy for a moment. She had already started thinking of him as her boyfriend. She had a boyfriend important in world events! But, that was not necessarily a good thing for her. It meant he would frequently be at risk. Hew could be called away to a higher priority mission with short notice. The responsibility on his broad but young shoulders was tremendous. Kaname's heart swelled up with pride and compassion. If Sousuke could make the effort that he did, she could make an effort to improve his life and help him in any way she could.

We all serve in our own way.

She smiled warmly. It was simply amazing how different she felt after running across a certain young soldier again. A lot could happen, good and bad. But, she would be ready for anything as long as Sousuke was nearby, or she knew he would be coming back from wherever he went.

Sousuke, when I'm with you, I feel like I can do anything._  
_  
_Find numbers A and B such that the derivative of Ae to -3x cos x Be to -3x sin x with respect to x is e to -3x cos x.**  
**_  
Damn. She hadn't gotten that one down yet. The teacher was already in the middle of another one.

_A stalagmite has the shape of a perfect circular cone. Its height is 200mm and is increasing at a rate of 3mm per century. Its base radius is 40mm and is decreasing at a rate of 0.5mm per century. Is its volume increasing or decreasing, and at what rate.  
_  
Kaname wrote furiously, streaking her paper with chicken scratch in an effort to get everything down in time. Her wrist hurt. She ran out of ink.Noisily, she began pulling things out of her knapsack. She had brought only one pen. Wonderful! She turned to Sousuke. Without looking, he handed her a pencil.

Kaname blinked rapidly. How had he known? He had been busy writing his own thoughts down! "Thank you, Sousuke." Kaname took the pencil.

_"Shhhhh..."_ Sousuke said, smiling.

Finishing the one problem, Kaname scowled and drew a gravestone on her paper, containing the words 'R.I.P. Sousuke.' Her scowl soon turned to a grin, though. When she had needed something, he was there to help her. She could do the same thing for him. Yes, he needed Kaname Chidori. And in a stroke of good fortune, he could have her. They had made a pretty good team onceShe hoped they could again.

Wordlessly, she reached over and squeezed Sousuke's hand.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kaname couldn't believe it.

Sousuke was in her kitchen again. It had been so long since the last time.

She thought back to her old apartment with some nostalgia. This new one was not as nice, but was in a convenient location. The kitchen was larger, but she hadn't maintained her enthusiasm for cooking, despite all of the new gadgets and utensils she had bought when she moved in.

There was a reason to be enthusiastic again. He was standing just ten feet from her, methodically emptying the grocery bags they had both carried home form the market.

Kaname watched Sousuke, again. She was doing that a lot today. He was really there. It was not a dream. The two of them had finished their day at school, and then took a pleasant stroll over to the shops just off campus. They had held hands. For Kaname, it almost felt as if they had been going out together since high school, even though it had been less than one day.

She was still somewhat on edge, though. Part of her kept waiting for his cellular phone to ring. It was a feeling she would need to get over, ignore, or get used to.

After her last class, he had been waiting for her as he had promised. He was still somewhat quiet, but opened up to her more and more as time went on. Kaname smiled, looking at some cut flowers he had bought her while they were out. Some of the buds were closed or just in the process of opening. Looking at Sousuke, she smiled, thinking he was a lot like that himself.

"So am I," she whispered to herself.

"Kaname, I have removed all of the purchased items. I have sorted them into their common categories. Is there more you need of me?" Sousuke looked around the cooking area, familiarizing himself with the new surroundings.

No doubt he's looking for defensible positions and judging the level of threat inherent in the rooms one window. You can take the otaku out of the battlefield, but you can't take the battlefield out of the otaku.

"Yes, Sousuke. But we'll take about that later. Right now, we have some cooking to do." Kaname chuckled when she saw Sousuke's face. He was adorable when he was caught off guard like that.

"Cooking. Kaname? _We?"_ Sousuke tilted his head some, looking at the tabletop full of various food items. "I am not proficient at that. Is there a manual?"

"Sous-kaayyy... everything doesn't have an instruction booklet, you know." Kaname walked over and bumped against him. Smiling up at him, she purred "_I _don't have a manual. You're just going to have to learn from experience." Giving him one last bump with her hip, she started unwrapping some of the items they would need.

"Uhhh... I will serve as your guard then… as you proceed with the mission." Sousuke was acting like a fish out of water. Kaname grinned, thinking that. But, there wouldn't be much fun in fishing if the fish simply jumped up onto the shore.

"I don't need guarding, Sousuke. I need help. You're going to cook with me. It's something we can do together. It's something I can teach you." Kaname took out a number of recipe cards from a drawer and placed them on the counter.

"But... what..." Sousuke looked skeptical.

_"Sousuke!_ There are things in life that do not require bullets... a pin to pull... fuses... or an A.S. suit..." Kaname walked over and took him by the hand. She led him over to the counter. "But, if you're very nice, I will let you use a knife. Don't you want to do this with me?"

"It... uhhh... I..." Sousuke tried to get his thoughts out. "Food has always been a practicality." He ran his hand through his hair. "And I may not be any good at this. I do not wish to ruin your meal."

_"_Mmmmm Hmmmm. Let me tell you something, right now! Practicality is all well and good in its place. It's an important thing, but not the _only_ thing. I'm not always going to be practical, and you better get used to that mister..." She kissed Sousuke briefly on the cheek. "Was _that_ practical?"

"Uhhh... no..." Sousuke looked somewhat shocked, but not displeased. He touched his cheek with a couple of fingers.

"Was it good, though?" Kaname had asked a simple question. Why did the answer suddenly very important.

Sousuke looked away for a moment. "I... yes."

"See. You're learning already. And no matter what happens, you won't ruin the meal." The look she gave Sousuke had his eyes wide and wondering. She caressed his cheek ever so softly before continuing. "Tonight, this is more about cooking than eating. I would like to cook for you when I can, Sousuke. It's a gift that I can give you. This is something we can do together. That's a gift you can give me."

"I see." Sousuke was obviously wrestling with a whole new perspective. Kaname wasn't surprised, knowing what she did about his past. "I think..." He looked down at his feet for a moment, and then met Kaname's eyes. "I think I would like that."

Kaname's heart felt like it had swollen to twice its normal size. The look on her face had Sousuke staring unabashedly, wondering at her sudden transformation. "Thank you," she said in a quiet voice. She swallowed and began to tear up.

It wasn't just that it was Sousuke, someone who she had shared many difficult and wonderful times with in the past. He was still a guy, and he was a guy who saw her for who she was, not for what he wanted. Who else had ever given her that?_  
_  
"It is not a problem," Sousuke said. His face looked open and a little uncertain. Kaname wondered what he was thinking.

Acting on impulse, Kaname walked over and wrapped her arms around Sousuke slowly. He flinched ever so slightly, but relaxed. Kaname could feel the tension flow out of him, until she pressed her body against him. Eyes closed, she tightened her arms, taking a deep breath of Sousuke's scent, soothed by the combination of his cologne and natural odor. She felt that she could stand like that forever. Letting go and stepping back, Kaname looked up at Sousuke and smiled. She gave him another kiss on the cheek and walked over to a bag that she had carried home. She took out an apron and tossed it to Sousuke. Walking to a hook on the wall, she took down a similar garment for herself. Opening a drawer, she took out a small flash camera.

"Kaname? An apron? I should wear this?" Sousuke held the apron, taking note of its structure and the location of various strings.

"Of course, you big idiot. All other clothing is optional." Kaname grinned. "Seriously, Sousuke. It will protect your clothing. And, it's OK for a guy to wear an apron. At least when he cooks." Kaname had an impish gleam in her eye. "It does have a lot of pockets, though. Think it might prove useful in battle?"

"Kaname!" Sousuke looked affronted for a moment. Then there was a calculating look in his eyes. He began examining the depth and location of the pockets.

"Don't you even dare think about it!" Kaname stamped her foot. She fought the impulse to run over and hug him again. They were bonding alright; but, she did want to get some cooking done.

When Sousuke had the apron on, he was startled briefly by a bright flash. He saw that Kaname had a camera in her hand. "Kaname?"

"It's for my scrapbook, Sousuke. Get used to it. You're going to be in a lot of pictures, I think." She held the camera up and started moving it back and forth, a nasty grin on her face. "And, it might prove useful for blackmail some day. I wonder what Melissa and Kurz might think about that picture." Kaname licked her lips and put the camera away. "That Mardukas guy would probably get a kick out of it too, don't you think?"

Sousuke stiffened up. It had Kaname laughing so loud that she covered her mouth in embarrassment. "So, don't let me down here tonight, soldier!" Kaname tossed her hair and picked up a packet of fish. She saw Sousuke smile, looking somewhat sheepish.

Kaname began arranging things the way she needed them. Sousuke was bewildered by a panorama of gadgets, appliances and tools piled on shelves, jammed into drawers, and hanging from hooks. He was surprised to find that nearly half of the unsightly clutter was devoted to making food appear more attractive; the remainder was meant to make food preparation more convenient.

As she worked, Kaname explained to Sousuke that the people of his homeland savor beautifully arranged food. "When I was very young, and when my sister was too, my mother would serve us snowy rice porridge dotted with bright, confetti-like flecks of carrot, chopped spinach, and jet-black hijiki." She put down a stirring spoon she had been holding, and sighed. "When I was older, she made me boxed bento lunches to take to school, making the cutest omusubi... she shaped stuffed rice "sandwiches" into cars, trains, rabbits, and pandas." She looked over at Sousuke, shyly. "I hope that I have children some day, so I can do the same thing for them."

Sousuke looked at Kaname's face and posture, seeing something new about her again. The sound of her voice was compelling---it seemed as if her soul was there. Blinking rapidly for a moment, he looked down at his shoes, not certain why he did such a thing.

"You see Sousuke, I told you that everything isn't practical." She explained the purpose of a dizzying array of utensils and other items: rice molds and razor-sharp vegetable cutters help that could help fashion food into decorative shapes; fancy foil cups and green plastic leaves help separate foods from one another; miniature screw-capped containers, enabling a cook to pack soy sauce or salad dressing in their children's lunches. That, and other items. She placed them aside, saying they would simply concentrate on the basics of cooking.

Kaname felt so open, so happy, just explaining things to Sousuke. "Deep-fried foods are a favorite lunchbox item for me," Kaname admitted as she sorted through the ingredients she would need for tempura. "Disposing of the cooking oil, though, can be a problem." Kaname looked over at Sousuke, to see whether or not he seemed bored or distracted.

He didn't.

"I see. There is a similar conundrum associated with the oil used in older model Arm Slaves, as well as spent hydraulic fluids and other toxic substances." Sousuke was nodding his head, a serious look on his face.

Kaname clenched her teeth. In the past, she would have smacked Sousuke over the head with her halisen and told him to stop being such an obsessive military freak. She relaxed and smiled. Sousuke was sharing his knowledge with her. It meant that he was paying attention to what she was saying.

"That's good to know, Sousuke. Pouring oil down kitchen drains invites plumbing problems and pollutes waterways; we can try soaking it up with paper towels, but that's really messy, expensive, and produces bulky waste that isn't fun to store in cramped kitchens... especially seeing how infrequent the garbage pick-ups are" Kaname thought back to the house she and her family lived in while they were in America. She wished she had that kind of space here.

"I assume that high temperature incinerators would be impractical in this living environment" Sousuke put in. "I would also presume that sophisticated recycling facilities would also be out of the question."

"Yes, Sousuke." Kaname smiled. What other boy would talk like that? Sousuke was certainly unique. That was OK with her. "Katameru tenpuru, a pulp powder that solidifies hot oil, and suwaseru tenpuru, a sponge-like pulp block that soaks up cooled-off oil, are items that are readily available to anyone going to modern stores."

"Thank you, Kaname. That is useful information. Your knowledge is remarkable. I am very impressed." Sousuke's comment had Kaname blushing. "Is it wrong for me to comment on practical things?"

"No, Sousuke. Not as long as you do it at the same time you are telling me that I'm remarkable. Do you really think that?"

"Affirmative."

"I see. _How_ am I remarkable, Sousuke?" Kaname couldn't believe her good fortune. Sousuke would already be sharing some of his feelings with her.

"You were very brave and self-controlled under fire, Kaname. In the past, as well as recently." Sousuke kept his face rigid, but his eyes gave him away.

"Hmmm. I hope you remain the same way yourself, Sousuke." Kaname picked up a chopping knife and brought it down hard, trying to keep a smile off of her face. "Your mission tonight is getting more difficult by the minute."

"It is not a problem," Sousuke said. "You are also very efficient and well-ordered. Shopping went well, without casualties or loss of assets."

"I see..." Kaname picked up the knife. "Funny you should mention loss of assets, Sousuke..." Sousuke gulped, even though he was pretty certain Kaname was playing along. "Anything else?" Her eyes narrowed when she asked that.

"Uhhh... punctual. You are very punctual. Except for your first class this morning. Punctual and dedicated." Sousuke still managed to keep a straiught face. He looked at Kaname out of the corner of his eye.

"Wonderful. Just what a girl wants to hear. I hope you didn't say these things to your harem, Sousuke. I want them to be special just for me." Kaname was enjoying the game. Sousuke had certainly matured some, even though he lagged behind most other guys in many areas.

"They were not and punctual as you, Kaname." Sousuke grinned. He couldn't help himself. "They also did not have your ability to persevere through pain and discomfort."

"Great. I'm glad that you mentioned pain and discomfort." She picked up a meat mallet. "Get to the point, Sousuke."

"Ummm... Kaname?"

"How do I _really_ seem to you?" Kaname's face made her look expectant and yearning. Sousuke swallowed.

"Beautiful, Kaname. More beautiful than before." Sousuke looked away.

"Oh. Thank you, Sousuke. You know, you can get away with just about anything when you tell me that." Kaname's eyes were wide. Her face was lit up with a huge grin. "How am I more beautiful than before? In the ways that I've... matured?" Hmmmpppfff! He didn't think I'd forget about _that_ one, did he?

"Yes, Kaname." Sousuke was turning slightly red. His eyes darted to Kaname, and then quickly looked away.

"It's OK to look, Sousuke." Kaname struck just the pose she wanted. Sousuke's eyes grew larger. "Other things are permitted, too."

That ought to do it!_  
_  
"Uhhh..."

Bingo!

"So, you were going to tell me how I matured, Souske. Now's a very good time." Kaname wanted to shout 'Yes!' This was all so much fun.

"Well... you..." Sousuke was actually beginning to sweat.

"Sousuke..."

"That is to say, that your..." He was sweating heavily.

_"Sousuke!"  
_  
"You have no doubt noted yourself..." He looked at the window, as if considering it an escape route.

**_"SOUSUKE!"_**

"You have learned to control your anger and violent outbursts, Kaname!" Sousuke let out a sigh of relief. He found an answer that would delay things, and remind both her that he was indeed a Specialist.

Kaname's mouth fell open. She dropped the utensils and put her hands on her hips. Then, slowly she smiled. "Touche." She was not about to let him have a service ace. It was time to return serve. A forehand winner ought to suffice. "If you're having difficulty describing things, Sousuke. Let me show you a few things one by one... you can tell me if they're what you were talking about..." She purposefully knocked the spoon onto the floor and bent over to pick it up,facing away from him.

She took her sweet time.

"Uhhh..."

"See something that loosened your tongue, Sousuke?" Kaname felt wonderfully sinful at that moment.

"Negative... things have tightened up..."

Sousuke's answer had Kaname jerking forward, banging her had hard on the cabinetry. _"Owwww..."_ She turned around and looked at Sousuke, facing him while rubbing her forehead. "Do you need some more encouragement, Sousuke?" She kicked the spoon over in front of her and bent over again.

"Ummmm... I remember, Kaname.

"I thought you would." Kaname wished she had the camera again. Sousuke's face was a study in emotions. There was unmistakable interest there. That was all she really wanted to see. "And?"

Sousuke straightened him self up. He had decided that he needed to be as bold as he could now, just as he made it a point to seize the initiative on the battlefield. It was a time for him to learn as well. There was much to find out about himself and his own feelings, not to mention Kaname and women in general.

An idea came to him."Your breasts have grown larger, Kaname. They are larger and more pleasantly rounded." He swallowed hard, but felt somehow satisfied when he saw the look on Kaname's face. "I believe they would serve as adequate flotation devices, were you to be adrift at sea. A standard inflatable life preserver or raft _would_ be better, however."

Kaname's eyes went from dreamy to unbelieving.

"Your posterior also has a much more pleasing contour than before." Sousuke felt more in control now. He could learn this game. "It is larger too, but exercise should take care of _that_ problem."

"Oooh!" Kaname didn't know whether to smile or kick Sousuke in the shin. It was wonderful seeing him tease her like this, but she had been hoping for something a little different.

"I should also comment on your legs. They are very attractive." Sousuke swallowed again, looking. "They are sufficiently muscled, and better suited for prolonged marching, compared to the legs of those other girls. I believe that _they_ have nice legs too." He braced him self literally and figuratively.

Kaname was under control. She smirked. She still had the ace up her sleeve.

"Thank you for those helpful observations, Sousuke. I will remember the parts that I like. If you are very lucky some day, you just might have a chance to handle the parts that _you_ like." She bent over again. "It is by no means a sure thing any more."

"Uhhh..." Sousuke stood with his mouth open and his eyes looking startled.

"Now, if you're done flirting, we should get back to cooking..."


	11. Chapter 11

"I really haven't been minding my manners the way that I should, Sousuke. I apologize."

Kaname was feeling a little guilty, and not a just a little bit embarrassed by her behavior.

It wasn't as if she had done anything terribly wrong. Admittedly, her actions had been bit scandalous and possibly a good bit premature. She was most concerned about her level of control. She had never quite felt this way before._  
_  
What was it about the young man standing in her kitchen that had her libido dialed so high and her heart racing so fast? She hadn't felt that exact way about him in high school. Does absence make the heart grow fonder? She certainly hadn't been all that fond of him immediately after his assignment had been terminated three years ago. Regardless of her motivations, Kaname did not want to do anything that scared Sousuke away.

"Kaname?" Sousuke turned a curious gaze on his companion.

"I should have offered you tea. It would be nice to share tea together while we work." Kaname bit her lip.

It was true… she should have offered him tea. But, that was not what she had originally meant to say. It was probably better not to make a big deal over her previous behavior. Sousuke didn't look like he was terribly uncomfortable. And, who knows where her surging emotions might take her next?

"Yes. That would be very pleasant. But your manners are fine, Kaname. I..." Sousuke stopped abruptly. He looked at Kaname, wondering just what things he felt comfortable admitting to her.

"Sousuke?" Kaname wondered just what Sousuke had been about to say. She wanted him to feel free to say anything that came to his mind. "Please. You can tell me anything. I really would like it if you would be comfortable enough to tell me _everything..."_

"I like you just the way you are." Sousuke looked relieved, as if it had been difficult to get that off his chest.

Kaname blushed. Once again, a large smile lit up her face. "Thank you Sousuke."

Kaname thought once again, just how different Sousuke was from other boys. He was so shy, but totally sincere. She wouldn't trade him for any other guy on campus. Why stop there? She wondered if there could be anyone else who could make her feel the way this semi-clueless otaku did. Was she overreacting? Jumping the gun?_  
_  
Part of her sniffed and held its nose up high. What did that say about her, if a moody military maniac was her highest aspiration? The other part of her just smiled. Sousuke just seemed to fit with her. She didn't know why.

If it feels right, it is right. Did it feel right?

"Kaname, were you aware that tea is the most commonly consumed drink in the world after water ?" Sousuke took a pot of water from Kaname and put it on a burner. Lighting the stove, he bent over.

Kaname found herself holding her breath. Settle down, Kaname!_  
_  
"I guess I never thought about that, Sousuke." Kaname just nodded her head. She could never tell just what Sousuke would think was worth talking about. At least it wasn't something military. Who kept who guessing?_  
_  
"Tea is an ancient beverage that was enjoyed for at least 1,600 years before the Europeans ever tasted it. If Chinese legends are to believed, it would have it almost 4,500 years that they have been enjoying the beverage." Sousuke selected a tea from the ones that Kaname offered him.

"Oh. That's a _very_ long time." Kaname wondered just how much she was going to learn about tea.

"But it was only about 1,000 years ago, during the Song dynasty, that tea drinking started to become widespread and the government began to supervise the production of tea, regulate its trade, and collect tea taxes. Buddhist monks, who were not permitted alcohol and needed stimulation to stay awake during meditation, are given much credit for helping to popularize the beverage, as well as for carrying tea culture to Korea and Japan. "Sousuke watched as Kaname continued with her preparations.

"What's _your_ favorite kind of strong simulation, Sousuke?" Kaname bit her lip to keep from chuckling.

Ooops. Tone it down just a little, young lady...

"Uh... well... being in a life or death situation... I would say..." Sousuke looked at Kaname a moment, before looking away.

"Hmmmmm. We're going to have to change _that_, I think..." Kaname gave Sousuke a pat on the rump. He swallowed hard.

To Hell with it! I'm having fun. Go with the flow, girl.

"Yes... I...errr..." Sousuke paused to maintain his composure. "The Portuguese reached the South China coast in 1514 and became the first Europeans to gain the right to trade with China and the first to drink tea. They were also the first to introduce tea in Europe, and in the following century tea became one of the prizes sought in the three-way tug-of-war between the Portuguese, Dutch, and English for control of the China trade." He felt uncomfortable, seeing the look in Kaname's eyes. As a Specialist, he should be ready to take on any unexpected situation.

_This was beyond his level of expertise, however._

"Want to know what prize _I'm_ after, Sousuke?" Kaname smirked. If Sousuke was going to keep assaulting her with facts, she would find some way to turn it to her advantage. It was good for him. It would keep him on his toes. See, there is a practical purpose to all this after all.

"I believe... uh..." Sousauke scrambled for an answer that would change the subject and relieve some of his discomfort. You are a prize, Kaname." Sousuke felt safer heading in that direction, even thought that was uncharted waters for him as well. He was no longer completely clueless.

He was also thinking that it would make Kaname smile again. Those smiles made him feel very good, even though he wasn't entire sure why. He saw her blush prettily. The success gave him some confidence. But, that was neither here nor there. He had been talking about tea. He had a task to finish. "Tea ... along with coffee and cacao... caught on in Europe during the seventeenth century. That in turn increased demand for slave-grown sugar to sweeten the new beverages."

"You're pretty sweet yourself. Do you know that, Sousuke?" Kaname grinned, wanting to see how the rough tough soldier would react to that one.

"Uhhh..."

"Does that make you uncomfortable, Sousuke?" Kaname had a more serious look on her face now.

"I... it…" Sousuke twitched. "Being sweet is _not_ a useful quality in a soldier, Kaname." Sousuke was moving one of his feet around a little bit.

"I see." Kaname pursed her lips. Yes, this would be a good time to make a certain point. She walked over and stood in front of the uneasy soldier. "Sousuke, when you are on duty or in combat, you need to be a soldier. When you are alone with me, you are no longer a soldier. You're my boyfriend… nothing more, and nothing less. OK?" She snuggled up against him. "It's alright to put your arm around me. I promise I won't bite."

"But..." Sousuke wallowed hard again.

"No buts, Sousuke. You're so much more than a soldier. It's time you started seeing that. If you can't see it for yourself, just watch me. I'll find plenty of ways to show you. This is one..." Kaname put her arms around Sousuke's neck, looked into his eyes for a moment, and then softly placed her lips on his.

Sousuke shuddered at first, and then relaxed. Ever so slowly, he responded, although somewhat timidly.

"We'll work on that later." Kaname let go of Sousuke. "Now, do you have anything else to tell me about tea" She doubted it. She probably addled his brain. He might need to check in back aboard that submarine to have a short or two fixed. _Hmmmpppfff!_

Sousuke stood silently for a moment, not exactly certain what he was feeling. By the look on his face, he had discovered some new desires, and was probably deciding whether they were proper or not. Nodding his head, he stood taller. "Tea was a staple of the English colonists in North America and, because of a British tax, became one more source of friction between the thirteen colonies and England, which ultimately resulted in the Boston Tea Party. It was one in a succession of steps that seem to have led to the American Revolution."

Kaname just shook her head. She had kissed him, and he was talking about tea again. _Only Sousuke!_ She didn't mind. It was part of who he was. She realized just how hard she was falling for that numbskull. A sudden thought hit her then, helping her decide what she wanted to talk about while they cooked.

_She had some difficult things to discuss, and so did he._

"About finished there? There are some other things I would like to hear about, if you're willing to tell me." Kaname's voice was very soft, almost vulnerable. There were things that she was frightened of. It would be best to deal with them now, in case their emotions were to grow more complicated with time.

"Ummm... I will finish by stating that it was only in the nineteenth century that Europeans discovered the secrets of tea cultivation, thus dispelling an ignorance that until then had meant monopoly for China. I will not bore you with details of how China continued to dominate the markets of the world despite the fact that the British established the great plantations of Assam and Ceylon in India, and the Dutch created tea plantations in their East Indian colonies." Sousuke looked over at Kaname, who simply smiled in return.

"That was very informative, Sousuke. Are you _sure_ you don't have any more. I want to make certain that it is out of your system." Kaname folded her arms over her chest.

"I could discuss how the situation with tea eventually led to the Opium Wars of the 1840s, during which Britain triumphed militarily and effectively "opened" China to the trade of the world while wrangling huge territorial and trade concessions for itself." Sousuke watched the way that Kaname had started tapping her foot. "Uhhh... I think I have said enough."

"There's hope for you yet, Sousuke." She smiled again, and then ran over to wrap him up in a fierce hug. "I missed you so much, Sousuke. I lied to myself, saying that I didn't. But, I did. I really did. I don't even know if I can put it in words." She clung to him a short while before stepping back again. "That's what I want to explain to you later."

Sousuke's face closed up some. His posture grew more rigid.

"Kaname, you do not owe me any explanation. I was a soldier doing my job. You did not ask for me to be assigned to you. I should not have allowed myself to... develop feelings... and..."

_"_No, Sousuke!" The words exploded out of Kaname's mouth, shocking both her and Sousuke. "Don't you _ever _think about blaming yourself for doing anything wrong. I was the one at fault. Me. Kaname Chidori. And I want you to know why... " She looked him in the eyes. "I will tell you why I acted the way I did, after you tell me about the life you lived these past three years." Her eyes filled with tears. "It hurts me... to think that I don't know what's happened to you. We have cooking to do. I'll show you what I can. Can you please talk to me while we're busy?" Kaname's looked anxious. One of her hands trembled a bit, and then stopped.

"Yes, Kaname. But you do not need to discomfort yourself on my account. The times were difficult, but I survived." Sousuke looked concerned for Kaname. He didn't seem wrapped up in his own feelings.

"Don't you try to be too noble, Sousuke. That won't spare me pain. It will only make me more messed up, if I can't get things off of my chest. I need to clear the air between us. I want to build on something new and strong. And, I want you to listen to me again. Right now. Are you listening?"

"Yes, Kaname."

"There... is... more... to life... than just... surviving..." She continued on in a quieter, silky smooth voice. "Especially between two people who... who care deeply for each other."

There was a word Kaname almost used. She didn't know if it held true for Sousuke, or if it ever would. She probably wasn't ready to use it herself. It would get her hopes too high. And, it was still too soon to be absolutely sure.  
_  
_"What is it you wish me to do, Kaname?" Sousuke's voice sounded even and calm. His willingness to talk had Kaname feeling very grateful. She found herself filled with growing admiration for him.

"I would like you to help me with miso soup, first. I'll tell you the things that my mother once taught me. I would also like you to trade off with me. For everything I tell you, I'd like you to tell me something about the last three years, starting from the beginning." Kaname hoped that she wasn't coming on too strong in a different way, now. But, she had faith in Sousuke, and confidence in herself.

"I will do that for you, Kaname. I would do whatever I can… for you." Sousuke's face softened; but, his eyes spoke of past pain and future hope.

"Thank you. Well then, let's get started so we can get finished before morning!" Kaname organized the things that she would need. "Miso soup base is made out of a fish stock called dashi. You can purchase dashi at any Oriental food shop. You can enjoy almost any vegetable with this soup, from lettuce to snow pea pods. Each time we make this... and I hope we have many opportunities, Sousuke... we can try a different vegetable." Kaname smiled. "We'll have to try Chinese cabbage... Lettuce... Onions... Leaks... Okra... Butternut squash... Daikon radishes... Potatoes... Mushrooms... Sweet potatoes... And bean sprouts. Not to mention tofu, natto beans, and Wakinabe seaweed."

"That's a _lot_ of times, Kaname." Sousuke looked stunned.

"Isn't it, now?" Kaname preened. She had slid that one in nicely. He didn't object. "Green pepper, celery, and other vegetables with strong flavor are not recommended."

_"_Understood." Sousuke's brisk answer had Kaname giggling. He blushed, and then smiled.

"All hard vegetables must be cooked for ten minutes or so. OK? Hmmm, where was I. Yes. Here's what I need for you to do. I need thirty one-inch cubes of tofu, and would like two green onions stalks chopped. I will slice a number of mushrooms while the water is boiling. We'll put it all together at the appropriate time." Kaname paused, willing herself to be at peace. "Your turn."

Sousuke began working on his cooking assignment. Running his hand trough his hair at one point, he started speaking. "After I left my apartment for the last time, I boarded a commercial flight and flew to South Korea. A Mithril helicopter picked me up and took me to Da Danaan. For the next two weeks, they had me on light duty, having me help with maintenance work. Captain Testarossa and Lt. Cmdr. Kalini did not judge my mental condition fit for critical battles." Sousuke slid the cutting board over to Kaname.

Kaname swallowed hard, her face rigid and distraught.

"It was not all terrible for me. I learned some new skills and used select books and literary works to continue on with my education. I was tutored where possible, and threw my full effort into it. Some part of me wanted to..." Sousuke stopped. He bowed his head, then straightened his shoulders again.

"Who tutored you? Hopefully not Kurz!" Kaname instinctively tried to lighten the mood, even though she realized that wasn't the right thing to do after the words had left her mouth.

"No. Onboard Da Dannan, it was Captain Testarossa. She made great efforts on my behalf." Sousuke picked up a mushroom, turning it over in his hand and taking note of its structure.

Kaname grimaced. _Tessa!_ She could imagine all too well what kind of efforts that she made. She bit her lip. That wasn't fair. If Tessa had done only one thing to help Sousuke, it would have been more than she had done herself. And, considering the fact that she asked Sousuke over tonight to see if she could further his interest in her, how could she begrudge someone else the same wish?

"Part of me wanted to make you proud, Kaname." Sousuke had popped a piece of tofu in his mouth, chewed, and then swallowed. "I didn't want to stop what I had started, and in doing so let you down. Not after all the help you had given me. I... I guess… I also had hoped that we could be together once more, if the situation with the Whispered got worse."

Kaname came close to crying. She couldn't help herself. Knowing that she hadn't allowed Sousuke to have any contact with her, the fact that he had still wanted to prove something to her broke her heart.

_If only she knew then what she knew now.  
_  
"When I was deemed fit for duty, I didn't have too much time to dwell on things. Arbalest was the only Lambda Driver capable Arm Slave for over a year. Every time the situation suggested even the slightest possibility of sophisticated enemy technology, I was included in the strike team. It was exhausting, but it kept my mind occupied. I was thankful for that." Sousuke ran his finger along the top of the counter.

Kaname could easily sympathize with what Sousuke had just said. She had taken on more school products than she had time to handle, and had come close to burning herself out that way.

"My performance in battle deteriorated some over time, as I grew angry at my situation. My superiors stopped short of officially reprimanding me, but they were far from pleased. Their displeasure made me even more angry, as they were the ones who had..." Sousuke's hands curled into fists. "They were the ones who made the decision to remove me from the assignment in Tokyo. For the first time in Mithril, I felt trapped."

Kaname wiped away her tears. She had felt trapped, too. No, 'cornered' was a more apt description. In all actuality, Sousuke didn't really have a viable alternative. She had choices, but backed herself into a corner and stayed there, angry at the world.

_And at Sousuke.  
_  
"There was no place I could go other than Mithril. As much as I wanted to stay in Tokyo and continue that lifestyle, I would not have done so without funding. I am ashamed to admit to you that I was not willing to accept some menial job to support myself while I went to school. I could have lived off my savings for a very long time, but I was too proud to do that, and much of my earnings were situated in investments. I'm sorry, Kaname." Souske's voice grew rough. He had to clear his throat.

Kaname stopped stirring the soup and walked over to Sousuke. She put her arms around him. She was shocked when Sousuke crushed her too him briefly, before letting her go again. He needed someone to hold on to, even now, Kaname realized.

"Sousuke, you don't owe me an apology. There was never any good and concrete reason for you to quit the one job that gave you the opportunity to live again." Kaname had come to accept that fact over time, but it hadn't been easy.

"But..."

"Mithril pulled you out of the gutter, just when you were about to drown in all of the filth and pain that surrounded you. Right?" Kaname wiped away a tear.

"Yes, but..."

"What did _I _ever give you, Sousuke? I opened my heart to you... sure... but I never told you that I did. Instead of admitting to you or myself how I felt, I got scared, and kept punishing and driving you away from me. What reason did I _ever_ give you to make you sacrifice your world for me?"

The words made Kaname shudder. She had been so hateful after Sousuke left, but so much of the blame rested on her. It was hard to see the stark cold truth, while listening to the pain in Sousuke's voice.

"Kaname...no... you made me see things I had never seen before. You helped me feel things I had never felt. I... uh... I looked forward to each day, for the first time in my life." Sousuke looked away. He placed his hand on his forehead for a moment, then looked at Kaname, wanting her to see his point of view.

_"Owww.."_ Kaname had been so distracted by that last statement, that she had accidentally placed her hand on the edge of the lit burner.

"Kaname! Are you OK?" Sousuke immediately grabbed Kaname's hand to look at it. "Do you have any burn cream or antiseptics? We should take care of this immediately."

Kaname felt her heart drop out of her chest. Sousuke had been in the middle of bearing his soul, talking about things that had caused him great grief. She was central in much of that. Even so, she injures herself, and he wastes no time in making certain that she was OK.

She didn't deserve anyone like that. How could she, after all that she had just heard? Maybe she had been thinking too much about what she wanted, instead of what was best for Sousuke.

"It's OK, Sousuke. Maybe I deserve some pain, after hearing what you said." She tugged at her hair a moment, biting on a strand or two. She walked back to the stove, happy to see that Sousuke was shaking his head. "It's my turn again. After we finish the soup, we can work on the tempura." Kaname's voice sounded weak and wavering.

"You are not being fair, Kaname." Sousuke sounded adamant. "You told me that I could not blame myself. We both share the blame in our own way. And, you have never done anything to me that would make you deserving of pain."

"How can you say that..." Kaname was incredulous.

"I would die before I let you get hurt, Kaname. That is not duty and obligation speaking any more. You have been through more difficult times than any squad of people should suffer." Sousuke's eyes met Kaname's.

"Sousuke..."

"For that, you have my admiration. It does not matter that I may have had an even more difficult life. Neither of us chose our paths." Sousuke placed his hand on Kaname's shoulder and squeezed it tenderly.

Kaname put her hand on Sousuke's and squeezed back. Why did he have to be so good to her? Could she truly dedicate herself to him in the same way? "Thank you, Sousuke. You almost make me think that I deserve someone like you. I'm not certain that you deserve someone like me_."_ She sniffed, needing to blow her nose on a paper towel.

"Kaname," Souske's voice was rough again. His eyes were vulnerable for a moment. He was obviously struggling with something. "I am not very good at understanding my feelings. I'm not very good with words."

"You're doing fine, Sousuke..." Kaname wrung her hands for a moment, wishing she knew what she could do to bring things back to the beginning again.

_The emotions were getting so thick, she was truly afraid of what might happen.  
_  
"I do not wish to be condemned to a life alone. You are the only woman I have ever wanted to care about. I would not have ever learned what it meant to care for someone, had you not given me a reason." He breathed in deeply and clenched his teeth. The words did not come easily. But, they had needed to be said.

"But..."

"I want you to understand. I had been content to be alone, before Tokyo. After I was forced to leave..." Anger flared up in him briefly. He slammed his hand down hard on the counter, causing one of the intact mushrooms to fly up into the air. Kaname winced. Sousuke's hand had just missed her chopping knife. "I do not understand all of my feelings. But I know that I did not want to leave you..." He sighed. "I wanted you to know that."

Kaname was too numb to move. She should feel happy at what Sousuke had just said, but her heart felt like it was frozen in place. She still felt as if she carried the bulk of the blame. _Damn! _It wouldn't do her any good to wallow in guilt or self-pity. Wasn't tonight supposed to be a special night?

Chin up, girl! Sousuke is telling you he won't be happy unless you're happy.

"I'll do my best to forgive myself, Sousuke. I'll need your help, though." Kaname took a step towards Sousuke, trying to read his eyes and posture. Sousuke took a half step of his own. "Will you help me, Sousuke?" Kaname's eyes teared up again. She began sobbing, unable to control the intensity of her sorrow.

Sousuke, hesitated for a second, still somewhat shy when it came to personal contact. The fact that it was Kaname who was in need, broke down one of his remaining barriers. He stepped forward and took Kaname into his arms. He held her to him, and rested his chin against the top of her head. For the first time he could remember, tears fell from his eyes too.

_Another barrier had broken as well._

"Ka-na-me..." Sousuke spoke her name long and low. "There are no things that are unforgivable. There are things that are inexcusable, but you have done none of those to me. I have already told you that I forgive you. There is no reason not to forgive yourself." When the young soldier moved his cheek against Kaname's, she pulled back with an inarticulate little squeak. She timidly touched one of Sousuke's tears. Her eyes went wide with wonder.

"Sousuke..."

"It is not right for you to see a Specialist cry, Kaname." Sousuke valiantly tried to smile, but failed.

"Sousuke, it's OK for me to see the man I care about cry. Specialist or not." She blew her nose again. "You have nothing to be ashamed of. It's wonderful to see that you are able to feel things. It gives me hope. It does not lessen my respect or faith in you..."

"Still, a man..."

Kaname's temper flared to life. She was not about to stand there and hear someone that wonderful question himself. That had been a breakthrough. Couldn't the big idiot see that?"Stow it Sousuke! And that's an order!" Kaname kicked Sousuke in the shin, just to emphasize her words. "If I say it's OK, it's _OK._ OK?"

"Kaname…" Sousuke looked puzzled. Kaname's mood had changed drastically. At least on the outside.

For her part, Kaname was watching Sousuke like a hawk. Three years ago, he would have stood at attention and said 'Affirmative.' What would he do now?"Do I have to kick you again, Sousuke?" Kaname stuck out her lower lip and furrowed her brow. Please Sousuke,follow along...

"Do you want to, Kaname?" Sousuke held his leg out for her. The round of play was distracting him from his feelings as well.

He did it!"Oooooooooooh. That's it." Kaname grabbed hold of Sousuke and began kicking him playfully. Next, she tried to find out if he was ticklish. He was not. Before either of them knew it, things had changed yet again, in a dramatic and unforseen manner.

They both ended up sharing a deep long kiss.

Sousuke's face was filled with amazement. Kaname's simply glowed.

"How did you change the mood like that, Sousuke? Maybe a Specialist has some value after all." Kaname still felt somewhat saddened, but her mood was definitely on the rise.

"I'm sorry, it's a secret Kaname. If I told you, I would have to kill you." Sousuke tried to make a stern face, but he couldn't help but grin.

"Ooooh... I love you, Sousuke..." Kaname put her hand on her mouth. That just slipped out. Sousuke's comment had been so perfect, and her emotions had been climbing way too fast.

Was it a big mistake? What would Sousuke do? If he didn't confess love himself, how would she feel? And what would he think about himself? Had she just splashed the hook too loudly?

Sousuke just stood there staring. His inaction had Kaname filled with conflicting emotions. The drawn out silence was a near palpable thing.

"Sousuke, I..."

"I do not know the correct answer, Kaname..." Sousuke looked distraught. "I believe the answer you must want would be confirmation that I feel the same way; but, I cannot say that in all honesty."

Kaname's face fell. It was an honest answer, but a painful one. Her mind knew it was too soon to expect him to know his feelings, much less admit them. That was scant consolation to her heart.

"Th-That's OK, Sousuke..." Kaname fought hard to pull her self together. She was being way too emotional. She should not make this any harder for Sousuke than she already had. "That sort of slipped out. I'm not entirely sure that I love you. But, to be truthful... it does feel that way." Kaname held her head up.

"Kaname... I..."

"I said it's OK, Sousuke." Kaname spoke softly, realizing that she needed to be patient. "It is. I don't blame you or hate you. How can I, with what I just said?" Kaname smiled as best she could. She reached out and squeezed Sousuke's hand. "I know you need time. I know that..."

Sousuke took Kaname's face in his hand and spoke in a deep husky voice. "You misunderstand me, Kaname. I did not say that I lack deep feelings for you. I just can't be sure what they are. After my parents were killed by the Soviets in Afghanistan, I had no way to be sure what love was, or how it felt."

"Sousuke, I'm not asking you to…"She stopped when Sousuke put his finger on her lips.

"Kaname, you hurt me more than anyone had ever hurt me." Sousuke set his jaw when he saw Kaname's eyes tear up. "But, that was because you were the only person I ever... uh..."

Kaname was trembling, angry with herself that she was being so emotional. She was Kaname Chidori. She was stronger than this. Sousuke was trying to put his thoughts into words. He looked very determined, as if those words might make the difference between victory and defeat.

"I have good comrades, Kaname. You know that. Kurz and Melissa are my friends, and that friendship did not come easy for me." Sousuke's gaze was distant, as he thought about the way that he had changed since first joining the SRT. "You helped me learn to value friendship, Kaname. You also gave me reason to see there were feelings that were different than friendship... _better_ than friendship."

Hearing that, Kaname leaned against Sousuke, not knowing just what to feel.

"I am sorry that my ignorance of such matters makes you unhappy. I do not wish you to be unhappy. When I left before, I do not know which caused me more sadness... the fact that I had to leave you, or the fact that you were unhappy." Sousuke swallowed hard. He stared outside the window, not really paying any attention to what he saw there.

Kaname's hands clutched at Sousuke's shirt. She was too overcome with emotion to speak.

"I wish I were like other men." There was a sorrow in Sousuke's voce that spoke of more than just his relationship with the girl clinging to him. "If I knew what to do…"

Kaname placed her hand over his mouth. She shook her head. Sighing, she wrapped her arms around Sousuke. They stood like that for a number of minutes, each lost in the tangle of their own thoughts and emotions.

Sousuke spoke up first. "If you would be willing to teach me Kaname, I would be willing to learn."

Kaname stepped away from Sousuke, so she could look into his eyes. They were both silent again for a little while. "Me and my big mouth, huh?" She wiped her eyes and smiled.

"Affirmative."

Kaname looked somewhat cross, but her eyes softened almost immediately thereafter.

"It is a very _nice_ mouth, Kaname."

Kaname grinned. "You're learning already, Sousuke."

"Learning, Kaname?" His response had Kaname shaking her head.

"OK. Enough of that. We have a lot of cooking to do. You have more things to tell me."

"We should begin then, should we not?" Sousuke said..

"Yes. But _this_ time, try not to get so emotional on me!" Kaname tossed her hair, purposefully hitting Sousuke in the face.

Sousuke sighed.

"Show some backbone, soldier!" Kaname's voice was rich and filled with life again.

Watching Kaname go back to work, Sousuke wondered just what he had gotten himself into.

He very much wanted to find out.


	12. Chapter 12

The window pane rattled, a good indication of the force of the winds outside.

Great torrents of rain spilled from the sky, making loud pattering noises on the worn concrete floor of Kaname's balcony. Wind chimes jangled continuously, with the ornate decoration tossed and buffeted to near destruction.

Occasional thunderclaps rumbled past like stampedes of heavenly creatures.

On a night not too different than this one, Kaname had the chance to explain to Sousuke how she had felt, and why she had done what she did. Instead, she had let an important opportunity slip away. Looking over at Sousuke, busy working with the ingredients she had given him, she gave thanks for having not lost the chance to get close to him again.

Tonight, she would be able to speak about difficult things. That was a good. That was very important.

She began thinking about their sudden reunion. Naturally, she had been shocked when he held her up against a wall with a gun to her neck. After that he had vanished, as if he had been a mirage. When she finally ran across him again... and he was being smothered by those blasted girls... she had resorted to a trick to hold his attention.

'_I'm in danger.'_

Those words had been pathetic. And, as it turned out, they had been prophetic. In a way, everything ended up making perfect sense. That fight in Khanka had brought them close in high school. Aterrorist attack had brought him closer to her here at college.

'_Why are you watching her?'_

Those other girls had been jealous, almost possessive. She had thought them silly, wondering if they had a shred of pride. Why should anyone fawn over a guy that way? Where was their sense of dignity? Her arrogance had been misplaced.

'_Why would I wish to do that?'_

It hadn't mattered what Sousuke meant by that. Whether she knew it or not, Kaname had desperately wanted to see Sousuke again. Why hadn't she been able to admit it to herself? She had been too proud. And she had been afraid.

'_Never mind, Sousuke.'_

She had thrown Sousuke's umbrella at him, turned, and then walked away. It wasn't until she had reached the door of her apartment that she realized that she had been crying. But, instead of being sad and depressed at her loss, she had given into her anger again. All the blame had fallen on Sousuke. The food and utensils strewn across the kitchen floor had given mute testimony to that fact.

'_Great, that's all I need. To have the power go out.'_

Her words had been predictive again. Disoriented, and tied into knots by her warring emotions, Kaname had run into the hallway door. That had hurt! One useless idiot had showed up back in her life, and she turned into a mindless klutz.

'_Respecting your desires, I stayed out of your way.'_

She had snapped at him, angry that he might have been following her again out of duty and obligation, instead of the reasons she would have wanted three years ago. Sousuke had been telling her that he didn't think she ever wanted to see her again; but, instead of taking the opportunity to deny that, she had turned on him.

**Again.**

'_It's... I... well, you show up out of the blue after three years, and then just disappear. Can you understand how that made me feel?'_

Kaname couldn't blame herself for being upset earlier, when she had first seen him and her buried emotions rose back to the surface. But she had wanted to talk with him... to clean the slate... to hope for something new between them. All that melted away, like snow falling on a warm road.'_"But... you have to understand... it was hard...'_

She had wanted him to understand. She didn't want for him to hate her. But, she had an opportunity to apologize for treating him the way she had. Her pride still held her back. Her anger still had some grip on her.

'_Sousuke, I did _not_ want you gone... you had to go... I was really...'_

She had admitted it to herself. Finally, she had been ready to open up to him. Fate taught her an important lesson then. You never know how much time you have for anything. If you get too wrapped up in your own thoughts, desires, and emotions, the world can pass you by.

'_I have to go.'_

As quickly as that, he was gone. If either of them had died in that terrorist attack, her words would never have been spoken. If Sousuke had been pulled away on a separate mission, he might never have had reason again to risk opening up to her.

What a big difference a few days make. Sousuke was here. They had gone through some heart-wrenching emotions, but had come out whole, stronger than before. She hoped that their relationship was taking root, with promise to grow into something special over time.

_Something still needed to be done._

She owed Sousuke so many explanations. She was going to have to tell him why she acted the way she did, when Mithril pulled him from Tokyo. To do that, she would need to delve back into painful memories.

There would be time for that later. She would make sure of it. Now, however, she would continue to show Sousuke his way around the kitchen and pay attention to the stories he was telling her. She wanted to show him everything She new. She wanted to learn every single detail of his life that other people had been privileged to see, but she could only imagine.

_There was more that she wanted._

That much was obvious. She had never been anywhere near this impulsive and flirtatious with any other guy. And, it wasn't simply because she loved to get a reaction out of Sousuke. If she tried to be logical, she'd ask herself what was going on. He was not the most handsome guy she had laid eyes on. He wasn't the brightest or the most outgoing. Of course, they _had_ spent together before, and had saved each other's lives on a number of occasions.

But, his future prospects were a big mystery. Who could even say how long he'd be alive? When would the next phone call take him away forever? Did she want to be like the tragic heroine who faithfully waits for her hero, the knight who is constantly going away on one crusade or another? Was she willing sit by the window, working on her embroidery, or brushing her long silken locks out in the serenity garden, while she waited for the next brief and passion-filled return?

Her mind would go through all of the arguments; but, her heart would make the decision. There was never any doubt that Sousuke would do anything for her, within reason. He would die for her with no regret other than leaving her behind. Was that why she wanted to give him every thought in her head... every feeling in her heart... every dream and secret in her soul... and...

_Her body._

She blushed. Sousuke had chosen that very moment to look over at her. Of course!

Other guys had gotten her attention, and a small few had even won her heart. But none had made her feel this way. Was it love? The other guys had come on to her, while Sousuke merely responded to the situations she put him in. Was the past they shared what was causing her to yearn for him?

She didn't think so. The things that once caught her attention were still there. And, there were hints of a whole lot more. Kaname couldn't think of another guy with whom she had wanted to share her oldest hurts and her deepest fears.

Only Sousuke.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

"Tempura is, in many ways, an archetypal Japanese food. All the essential qualities of Japanese cuisine are reflected in its preparation. Do you have any idea what they are?"

Kaname had tied her hair behind her and was wearing a kerchief on her head like a queen's crown. She waved a large wooden spoon around like it was her scepter.

"I do not have an answer, Kaname." Sousuke looked nonplussed. That did not sit well with Kaname. The look, not the lack of an answer.

"_Hmmmpppfff._ I suppose I can tell you this one time, Sousuke. It is the use of absolutely fresh ingredients, the artful presentation, and the perfection of technique by a skilled chef. As you will find out tonight, the result is one of the triumphs of Japanese cooking... a fried food that is light and fresh-tasting, rather than heavy and greasy. It's a cooking style in which the essence of the ingredient itself completely defines the taste." Kaname folded her arms across her chest, her face set in an expression that clearly indicated that she was looking for applause or approval.

"I see." Sousuke would normally have stopped there. But, adept at reading the ever changing battlefield, he was beginning to make use his ability to read Kaname. "It is a well chosen dish then, and I am very fortunate to have someone as talented as you show it to me."

Kaname beamed, but quickly erased her smile. She was in control there, not Sousuke. "It often comes as a surprise to foreigners and Japanese alike to learn that tempura was not originally a Japanese dish; it actually owes its origins to the visiting Portuguese missionaries of the sixteenth century. Kaname preened, glad to show Sousuke that she too had some historical knowledge.

"You are very clever, Kaname." That had Kaname blow him a kiss, before trying to look all stern and stately again. "Did you know that between 1499 and 1580, Portugal acquired an empire stretching from Brazil eastward to the Moluccas, reaching the zenith of its prosperity before entering upon a period of swift decline, ruled by Spanish Kings for nearly sixty years after that?"

That earned Sousuke a very sour stare. But, Kaname didn't say anything. The young soldier took note.

"Is it my turn again, Kaname?" Sousuke was ready to continue telling Kaname about his life over the past three years.

"I... think... that... just... _was_... your... turn..." Kaname wasn't truly angry. But, she was going with her feelings. She had decided that she was not going to walk on eggshells around Sousuke.

"I see. Perhaps one thing more, then. Are you aware of which spices originally came from the many islands of the Moluccas?" Sousuke had begun to surmise that Kaname's competitive nature extended to more than the athletic field and the classroom. His own need to compete was usually limited to the battlefield; but, a Specialist is required to adapt.

"_Why_... would... I... care... about... _that?_" Kaname was patting one hand with the end of the spoon.

"It is not a problem. I still consider you to be reasonably intelligent." Sousuke did not smile.

He continued to learn some things about himself around Kaname, and that was reason for amazement. This was actually fun. Realizing that he saw something as fun left him feeling mixed emotions. What did fun mean to a soldier in the strictest sense? On the other hand, why should a soldier be different than everybody else?

_That realization had been a long time coming._

"Excuse me..." Kaname spun the spoon in her hand like a baton.

"It is your turn, Kaname. What do you wish to tell me about Tempura, next?" Sousuke wore a perfectly innocent looking face.

"Yes. Back to Tempura. Sure. We have a lot of cooking to do. But out of kindness to you, Iwill let you tell me about the spices." The spoon stopped spinning." Kaname looked on expectantly.

"My apologies. I should not have bored you with information of such a useless nature. Please continue." Sousuke nodded his head.

"It's _OK,_ Sousuke." Kaname clenched her free hand into a fist.

"No. You are just being kind. It is one of the things that made me want to be near you in high school."

"Oh." Kaname smiled. Then her eyes narrowed again. "What were the spices, Sousuke?"

"You had asked me how I ended up at Tokyo University…"

"_**SOUSUKE!"**_

Sousuke closed his eyes. Opening them a second later, he pointed to a spice rack hanging from a long towel and utensil bar. "Nutmeg and Cloves."

"Good boy!" Kaname put down the spoon and fluffed her hair. She looked at Sousuke a moment, smiled, and then came over to lean against him again. "It's OK Sousuke, I still consider you reasonably brave." She bumped against him, and then headed back to her cooking.

Kaname showed Sousuke the bowl she had been working with, after having described what ingredients were needed to make the batter. "The batter shouldn't be mixed too thoroughly, but should be lumpy and full of air bubbles. To achieve this consistency, the batter is made up in small batches immediately before it's used, and each batch is thrown away when it starts to settle. I'll remind you once again, making tempura is a delicate process, and _lots_ of things can go wrong." Kaname spoke in a loud confident voice, master of that that she surveyed.

"You mean like dating, Kaname? Sousuke asked, sounding inquisitive.

"Well... it..." Kaname wondered where _that_ had come from.

"And like setting up perimeter charges with…" Sousuke never got to finish with his second example.

"You better _not _make some strange otaku connection there. I don't want to hear you comparing _me_ to some kind of mission or something!" Kaname stamped her foot. Not paying attention, she brought the batter-covered spoon down, missing the apron and leaving a steak of sticky food on her leg.

_Her face was memorable._

"I see. My apologies." Sousuke liked seeing the different sides of Kaname. It was interesting. And it was a challenge. What could he do to see some more? Thinking about Kaname behavior that evening, he came up with a reasonable conjecture. Sousuke hung his head and sighed. "So, despite the actions that you took earlier, you do _not_ want me to examine or comment upon your topography and terrain. Disappointing, but understandable."

Kaname's one hand twitched. She stared at the spoon with an accusatory glare.

"It would also be considered inappropriate for me to scout ahead, trying to determine your likes and dislikes. Regrettable, but beyond my control."

The blue-haired girl narrowed her eyes. Sousuke was not going to get her too react. At least not without thinking first.

"No doubt you would be angry with me should I set attainable goals and make mission plans suitable for attaining those... uhhh... objectives." Sousuke looked over at Kaname, who was busily tapping her toes.

He had fired his broadside. It was the best he could do with the armament he currently possessed. It was time to find out how thick the walls of the opposing vessel were.

"Sousuke, I'm not strong enough to carry you all of the way to the hospital. But, _please_ continue..." He was not about to get the better of her. If they were going to spar, he should have chosen a weapon he had an advantage with.

"Uh...I am finished." Sousuke noted the smirk on Kaname's face. Another lesson learned.

"Good. Where was I? OK. When the vegetables and seafood are cut, washed, dried, and dipped in the batter to give them a thin, almost transparent coating, they're dropped one at a time into the oil... a combination of vegetable and sesame oil... which must be constantly kept at exactly the right temperature. Finally, the tempura must be cooked for just the right amount of time, pulled out of the oil the precise moment it's done. If all goes well, the final product is perfect tempura… crisp, golden brown, hot, and delicious."

She licked her lips. Eying Sousuke, she grinned. You're not ready for the major leagues yet, boy. "The first rule of eating tempura is to get it while it's hot." Kaname waited a moment and then asked "Aren't you going to ask if _that's_ like dating? She struck a mildly provocative pose.

"Uhhh..." Sousuke's face looked startled. The opposing ship had superior weaponry.

Kaname chuckled. She did a slow turn. Sit down. Next batter! No pun intended. Time to get back to cooking. I don't want to stunt his growth or anything. "Close your mouth, Sousuke. Show a little dignity. _Hmmmpppfff!"_ She smiled. She was very pleased to see Sousuke give her a shy smile in return. "There are a few points that you have to remember: _"First,_ slice the vegetables thin so they can be fried in a short time._ Second,_ you will need a deep, thick-walled pan or wok. It should be filled about 1 inch deep with oil. _Third,_ deep-fry in small batches so you can maintain the temperature of the oil. _Finally_, tempura-fry vegetables at 340F and fish at 360F. OK. That's enough for now. See one, do one, teach one. Let's get busy!"

Kaname pushed Sousuke over towards the stove top, marveling once again about the firmness of his back. He must work-out more than he did before. Together, the two of them cooked up the first food that they would eat together that night. It was a transcendent time for Kaname, even though she had cooked tempura many times before. She had never cooked it with Sousuke.

"OK, Sousuke. Let's see if you remember what I told you. When should you take the tempura out?"

"When the batter gets slighty brown. Vegetables usually take less than two to three minutes. The thinner the vegetable, the faster it cooks. For fish, the time to pull it out is when the batter turns very slightly brown. It is good idea to do trial frying in the beginning. You told me I should taste it and decide how long it will have to be fried. Once one gets the timing right, the rest is simple." Sousuke looked to see if he was correct.

Kaname just stood there shaking her head, looking disappointed. Then abruptly, she smile and leaped on Sousuke, giving him a big bear hug. The timing was right. "Very good. I just _may_ keep you after all?" Kaname smiled and gave Sousuke a quick kiss. Could she keep this going all night? She didn't want it to stop.

Sousuke stiffened. It had Kaname's throat going tight. What was wrong?

"Sousuke?" Kaname looked concerned. Was her affectionate behavior too much for Sousuke? She stepped back.

"It's alright, Kaname. Should I continue with my story?" Sousuke tightened his jaw and forced himself to relax.

"No, Sousuke." Kaname voice was very soft. "Something I said bothered you. I would like to know what's wrong. I hope you feel you can open up to me and tell me anything on you mind... and everything in your heart." She reached her hand out, but pulled it back. She would give Sousuke his space.

"Yes. I must learn to do that. For you, Kaname. However, I..." Sousuke ran his hand through his hair, and then looked into the blue-eyed girl's eyes. "My mission here may continue until I graduate. It might even go longer if Mithril can arrange for me to receive a position as a graduate student. But..." Sousuke's eyes hardened. "They can pull me away at any time. For a brief mission. For forever. It's just like before."

There was anger in Sousuke's voice. Anger and grief. Kaname knew what he must be feeling. He wanted something constant in his life, but not just the constant fighting. No doubt he felt obligated to Mithril. They had essentially saved his life, but he didn't see risking his life repeatedly as sufficient payment in return.

Did he think he needed to dedicate his life to that organization as a result? Was he putting too much on his shoulders, thinking that the world as a whole was more important than one young man? Was he worried about what that all would mean for her?

_Probably, the big-hearted moron!_

He was too upset now, for her to ask him if he would ever consider leaving the service. No, now it was her duty and obligation to reassure him that she was willing to take the necessary risks, and to try and offer him a future with her, no matter how long it lasted. "Yes, Sousuke. It's a very heavy load you carry. If no one else has ever thanked you for your sacrifice, let me do so now." Kaname pulled his arms around her and spoke in a deep emotion-filled voice. "Thank you. Thank you very much."

Sousuke tightened his arms, almost to the point that Kaname couldn't breathe, crushed in his sudden embrace. He lowered his head against her, not saying a word in reply. The minutes grew longer, and his grip on her loosened bit by bit until he took his arms away. "Thank you, Kaname. Every day, you show me something that no one else has. I wish..." Sousuke stopped, shaking his head. "This isn't fair for you. _None_ of this is fair for you." He slid out from in front of Kaname and walked over to the window, looking out into the darkened sky. "You deserve so much more," he said.

Kaname didn't know what to say. Telling him how she felt wouldn't chase away his fears. There was no way to truthfully tell him that everything would always be wonderful. "Sousuke, it's not about what I deserve. It's about who I want. No. It's about who I _need._ I'm not just saying this to make you feel better. No one else has made me feel the way you have in these short days. Angry. Remorseful. Hurt. Excited. Hopeful. Happy. You need to understand that." She walked over to Sousuke timidly, her determination and strength growing with each step.

"But... I will leave again some day. You will be hurt again, Kaname. I don't wish to cause you that kind of pain a second time. I'm not as worried about how much it will hurt me. I'm a trained professional. I will do what must be done." Sousuke absentmindedly counted the seconds between lightning flashes and the subsequent thunder.

"I know Sousuke. I have already asked myself if I'm willing to face that again. I am. I would rather live one month or one year with you and discover all the things I never had reason to discover before, than throw away those chances because I'm afraid of what happens when I let them go. In whatever time we have together, I can grow with you, learning the best way to comfort a soldier."

Sousuke shuddered. He pulled away from Kaname, turned, and took a step away.

"Sousuke? _What?_ I---"

"I am sorry, Kaname. Your words. Feeling like I was, it was a shock to hear them." Sousuke's eyes looked haunted.

Kaname needed to know why. "Can you tell me about it?" She spoke very evenly, trying not to seem either too eager or too worried.

"Yes. But, it will be otaku..." Sousuke expelled a great rush of breath, then tried to relax.

"That's OK, Sousuke. Just this once." Kaname pulled out a chair and sat down. She looked at Sousuke... the other chair... and Sousuke again.

He sat. "It is a difficult tale for a Japanese man to tell. It is made more difficult by my being a soldier." Sousuke took a sip of his now cold tea. "The Japanese Army used comfort stations extensively until the war ended in the Pacific in 1945. At those sites, they housed comfort women. That was the name they gave the women they..."

"Used for... ummm... comfort." Kaname bit her lip. She remembered reading something about new textbooks introduced into the junior high curriculum ignoring the plight of the women Sousuke was referencing.

"Yes. A majority of the women who provided sexual release for Japanese soldiers were forcibly taken from their families. Family members were beaten or killed if they tried to rescue the women. The ages of the girls that were taken to the comfort houses ranged from 9 to 20. Some were married women with children." Sousuke's hand clenched into a fist. Even though he had been raised in conditions that could have caused him to feel otherwise, he respected the sanctity of individuals above anything else. That was a direct result of the horrors he had seen and the rights he never had.

"You don't have to say any more, Sousuke." Kaname felt for Sousuke, but was partly glad to have this opportunity. His reaction told her a great deal. Especially in a young man who might have expected a lot and looked to take a lot, given his talents and the rough thankless life he led.

"Do you know the fullness of the soldiers' sins, Kaname? Once the women arrived at the comfort station they were forced to have sex with 20 to 30 men a day. If they resisted they were beaten or killed. A majority of the 80,000 to 200,000 comfort women were from Korea though others were recruited or kidnapped from China, Phillipines, Burma, and Indonesia. Many women became sterile from the repeated rapes. When the comfort women became useless because of their sickness, their milk was mixed with cyanide, their bodies taken to a cave and finally, the cave was blown up with a grenade." Sousuke's eyes were filled with pity and sadness.

Kaname's respect for him grew even more. "I didn't know that Sousuke." Kaname wished she hadn't heard those facts. She shuddered, thinking what it might have been like. It was easy to understand why the men in the Japanese Parliament did not want such shameful historical facts included in school books. It was no surprise that many Japanese refused to believe any such events took place.

"You can see why I behaved as I did. You said that you offered me comfort, even though you meant something else. And, I am a soldier. I apologize. It was wrong for me to overreact." Sousuke sounded contrite.

Kaname placed her hand on Sousuke's. "You amaze me more every minute, do you know that?" Kaname smiled.

"Kaname? I know many facts. That should not---"

"That's not what I meant, Sousuke. What would have happened if those soldiers were as good a man as you? I doubt many of them faced the things you have. They had an idea that they were entitled to take whatever they wanted. Women were not people to them. I don't think that you can totally blame Society for that." Kaname drew aimless diagrams on Sousuke's hand with one finger. "What worried you specifically, Sousuke. You're not thinking of taking advantage of me against my will, _are_ you?"

It was not something that she would joke about. She was reasonably certain Sousuke would never behave that way. But, a small part of her was still uncertain. With all that Sousuke had been through growing up, he was still a mystery in many ways.

"**NO!"**

"So?" Kaname tapped her finger on the fist that Sousuke had made, he opened his hand and she slid hers into it.

"The intentions may be different, but the end may be the same. I... uhhh... I am not implying..." Sousuke blushed.

"It would be alright if you _did_, Sosuske. I'm certain you realize what kind of things go on in a relationship between two consenting adults." Kaname spoke very evenly and quietly, simply wanting to sound as if she were speaking a general fact. "We don't need to talk about things that make you uncomfortable; but, I am quite capable of making my own decision... in _everything_. You need worry only about yourself. OK?"

"Uhhh... ummm...yes. What I meant to say is that I would hope to take comfort from you in... uhhh... appropriate ways; but, when I had done so, I would move on again. I do not know if that would be using you unfairly." Sousuke's eyes held a great depth of concern for Kaname.

At that moment, she had a great deal less doubt about the word she had accidentally blurted out earlier. "Sousuke, I want you to realize one thing. Don't doubt it for a minute. I have already made up my own mind about our relationship. I know what I want. I am quite aware of what is at risk. I have chosen to accept whatever might happen. You need not worry a single bit about _any_ of that. The only thing you need to do is follow your own heart." Kaname's voice was very stern. She wanted you make certain that she drove that point home.

"But----"

"I was hurt the first time, Sousuke. So were you. I wasn't willing to admit my feelings then, and wasn't prepared for what happen. That was my fault, not yours. Understood?" Kaname's eyes looked intense and unyielding.

Sousuke nodded his head.

"Good. We can talk about this later if you like. It might be better if you take some time to think things through." Kaname would too, but had a good idea what her decision would be.

"Yes. You are very wise, Kaname. I am very fortunate." Sousuke's face was unreadable.

Kaname blushed. "Just you remember that! Now, it's your turn. You were going to tell me about how you came to Tokyo University." Kaname stood up and walked over to the countertop. "I'll start getting things ready for the next dish while you speak. It will be pan-fried batter cake that is topped with various ingredients. Okobomiyaki."

"Kaname, isn't Okonomiyaki a fast food, usually not suitable for cooking at home due to the amount of fire power required for cooking?" Sousuke raised an eyebrow.

"_Firepower,_ Sousuke?" Kaname put her hands on her hips.

"Uh... amount and type of heat required?" Sousuke blinked repeatedly. Did he have to be that careful with his words?

"Yes, but I have a recipe that's similar and suitable for small kitchens. It's pretty simple, consisting of a bowl of pancake-like batter, plus a dish of diced vegetables and the main ingredient, such as shrimp or pork. Okonomiyaki" literally means _'cook what you like,'_ so people use all sorts of things."

"Rolls... protein bars... and MREs?" Sousuke asked with a straight face. He had decided that he was not going to operate entirely in a No-Otaku zone. In battle, forces from different nations often need to compromise. In a personal relationship, the same thing would make sense. Wouldn't it?

Kaname didn't answer immediately. After thinking, she said. "Not tonight. But if you want to try that, we will. You will eat it all, however. Every last bit. I hate waste."

"Uhhh... it was just a question." Sousuke accepted whatever small headway he had made.

"Mmmmm Hmmmm. Where was I? You developed a liking for pizza, right? I did too when I was in New York. Because the customers choose their own ingredients, Japanese sometimes compare okonomiyaki to pizza, although the similarity really ends there." Kaname always thought that comparison was ridiculous. "The big thing to learn is when to flip the pancake and when to take it off the grill. Okonomiyaki takes longer to cook than you might expect, and the finished product doesn't hold together nearly as well as a breakfast pancake."

"Yes, I am aware of that. The okonomiyaki style of cooking originated in Osaka and continues to be most popular there, although okonomiyaki-ya can be found throughout the country." Sousuke nodded.

"How do you know _that_, Sousuke?" Kaname came tro understand that she had begun wanting to know where all of Sousuke's eclectic bits of knowledge came from.

"From the time I spent in Osaka. It is an appropriate coincidence, as it ties in with my true and fabricated educational experience." Sousuke went on to describe what he had done since leaving Tokyo.

Mithril had arranged for tutors, as some members felt that Sousuke would be a more valuable asset if he could be placed in a college environment when needed. The research community had begun working on a number of far-reaching technologies, with and without covert infusion of Black Technology. Some of the scientists were more worthy of a bodyguard than Whispered candidates were. Secrets from the Whispered were often fragmentary, promising something but not delivering on their true potential without some other clue. The above-board technological advances at some institutes were more fruitful.

_Some were potentially more destabilizing._

"My high school transcripts were fabricated, so that I could get into Osaka University." Sousuke looked a little sheepish. Kaname wondered why.

"Fabricated? You mean _faked._" Kaname looked peeved.

"It was not my decision, Kaname. And, it served a purpose." Sousuke did not wilt under the glare in Kaname's eyes. "My performance there, and at the University, has been very good in any case."

"Sousuke?" Kaname's voice was too quiet and emotionless for her boyfriend's liking.

"Yes?" Sousuke braced himself. If Kaname's reactions were similar to those she had exhibited in the past, it was the calm before the storm.

"Did they change your transcript at Jindai High School?" Kaname's voice was still very quiet.

"Affirmative."

"I see." Kaname put down the utensils that she had been using. "And just how much did they improve your grades, Sousuke?"

"Uh..." Soususke began to sweat. In the past, telling the truth would have gotten him a halisen between the eyes. "I do not believe the exact details would be elucidating."

Kaname knew what that meant. "Better than _my _grades, Sousuke? The ones I worked so hardto achieve?"

"Yes." Sousuke swallowed. What was Kaname going to do?

"Oh. Good. It's _nice_ having a smart boyfriend!" She turned back to her work.

Sousuke sighed. It was premature. Kaname flipped a spoonful of batter onto his apron.

"_Hmmmpppfff!_ At least _I_ got a diploma!" She wasn't really angry, though she was severely miffed. Take that, cheater! Big jerk!

"I am happy for you, Kaname. I would have liked to have earned mine." Sousuke was being honest. He hadn't been a great student, but he had been improving with Kaname's help.

"But you didn't. Too bad. It's not a problem." Kaname walked over with a rag and cleaned off Sousuke's apron. She then wiped his already clean cheeks with the sloppy cloth. _"Ooops!"_ Smiling at Sousuke's look, she cleaned him well with a clean paper towel.

"I also would have liked to earn the special Academic Achievement Award that they presented me with." Sousuke walked across the kitchen.

The loud clatter of a bowel falling into the sink could be heard. When Kaname turned and saw where Sousuke was, she scowled.

"Can I continue while you start on another bowl of batter?" Sousuke asked calmly.

"Did they give you a Nobel Prize, too?" Kaname tossed her hair. "Just wondering..." Kaname no longer looked displeased.

"Yes. In Kitchen Survival."

Kaname smiled. Good comeback Sousuke. There may be some hope for you yet.

Sousuke went on to describe his days at the college, but left out all references to his work. Naturally, that did not escape Kaname. "Sousuke? Were you there as a Security Specialist, as you are here?" Kaname thought that was the most likely answer.

"Negative."

"Did you help guard one of the scientists?" She nodded her head. That was also a logical answer.

"No."

"It wasn't another Whispered girl, was it?" Kaname bit her lip. If it was, she wasn't certain she wanted to hear about it. That was silly, she knew. But, she couldn't help herself.

"No, not a Whispered girl, Kaname."

Was that a slight catch in his voice? Yes. Could that mean...

"Was it a girl, Sousuke?" Kaname made certain to put the bowel out of reach. She began to wonder about her reactions.

"Affirmative. She was the daughter of the lead scientist at the Institute of Science and Industrial Research. He himself was pretty well guarded in his place of work, but his daughter was a college student at the undergraduate campus. That was where I was enrolled. I was in each class that she took. Her safety was of paramount, and it was my task to make certain that she was not kidnapped and held as a bargaining chip. The work that the scientist was doing was extremely provocative." Sousume walked over and took another sip of tea.

"Was _she_ provocative, Sousuke?" Kaname's face looked a little odd. That had slipped out without thinking. She shouldn't be jealous, after all. She had gone out with numerous boys. Still...

"Kaname?"

"Never mind." Time to pull herself together. She was Kaname Chidori after all.

"Yes. Well. Mithril had signed on as a cooperative partner with the scientist… secretly of course. His area of expertise was in Nanotechnology. More specifically, in an area known as molecular manufacturing." Sousuke had done a lot of research into that area, and some of the facts he had found were potentially worrisome, possibly even more so than the cold fusion technology he was guarding now. By all rights, he should still be in Osaka, if the scientist had not died from a carcinoma that had been discovered shortly before his death.

"Was she pretty, Sousuke? This girl you were protecting."

"Ummm. Yes. I believe she was. Is there a reason that is important?" Sousuke watched Kaname's face, taking close notice of the contortions it went though.

"Ah hah hah hah hah hah." Kaname tossed her hair. "Not really. Why was Nanotechnology so important that you were with a... that you were in Osaka instead of piloting Arbalest?"

"The ARX-7 had been destroyed in an act of sabotage by traitors." Sousuke felt like spitting. After the episode where Gauron took control of Dana. that kind of thing should not have happened again. "As the newer model of Arm Slave with Lambda Driver technology was not yet available, I was no longer a unique commodity." Sousuke stopped and looked at Kaname. "I had thought about asking for a transfer to Tokyo University, as I would have been useful in initial construction of the Applied Research lab. I did not ask for that, as I knew that you did not wish to see or speak to me." Sousuke clenched his jaw.

Kaname looked shocked. Her mind immediately wondered what nearly two years might have been like if Sousuke had been her boyfriend all along. Maybe it was better this way. She was more mature, and had seen and done things away from him. He had changed in many ways too.

_How much of it was due to the things he had done over the past three years?_

"The scientist was perfecting means by which matter can be manipulated on an atom-by-atom or molecule-by-molecule basis, in order to attain any desired configuration. This was a total paradigm shift. Most contemporary industrial methods are top-down technologies... they take larger objects and make them smaller."

"I see. I should probably get back to work as I listen. By the way, was the girl smaller or larger than me, Sousuke?" Kaname's voice sounded calm and conversational. She closed her eyes tight and said a short mantra. The mention of 'top-down' had caused her to bite her lip.

"She was shorter." He rubbed his head, and then continued. "Top-down types of processes are somewhat of an aberration in the natural order of things…"

"I meant, was she more or less… _curvaceous… _Sousuke." Kaname busied herself with the new batch of batter. Well, there was no fighting it. She might as well get it out of her system.

"Uhhh... she was less ample in her... uhhh... assets, Kaname. But..." Sousuke grimaced. He still had trouble knowing when to stop. "As I was saying. Most materials produced by living organisms... not to mention the organisms themselves... are made very differently."

"Sousuke, how was _she_ made differently?" Kaname put the bowl down and looked at Sousuke. At the very least, this ought to give him the opportunity to speak about certain things with more confidence… especially things that might make her less than ecstatic.

"Is there a specific thing you are after, Kaname? It may save you a number of questions." Sousuke quessed what Kaname wanted to know. It was not relevant to his topic of discussion, but it was probably of great significance to her. Should that make him feel uncomfortable, or flattered?

Kaname simply stood there tapping her foot. Faster than before. He would need some kind of answer that would satisfy her.

"She was an apple blossom, Kaname. You are a cherry blossom. I prefer the later." That reply ought to win points based on his stated preference alone. And, it ought to have her wondering exactly what he meant. "Human organs are created from tiny organelles and cells, themselves a type of molecular machine. A human brain... a coral reef... even a mighty redwood tree... all of those and similar things progress from smaller components to the larger finished item."

"That's very interesting, Sousuke. I hadn't heard anything about that science before. Were the girl and you an item. Did you have a similar relationship with her as you did with me? Or something more?" Kaname's eyes looked slightly troubled for a moment.

"She was not my girlfriend Kaname. She never grew to be on friendly terms with me. We were not intimate. We did not share an apartment. We did not have adventures together. I did not miss her when I parted company." Sousuke needed to mind his own control. For some unknwon reason, he was growing just the slightest bit exasperated.

"OK, OK. You don't need all that detail. I don't know why you sound so defensive..." Kaname busiest herself by checking out the floor tiles. Sousuke just shook his head. It took a bit before he found his tongue again. In the interim, Kaname smiled and asked. "Is there more...on Nanotechnology, I mean? There must be, knowing you."

"It appears you do not wish to hear it." Sousuke had decided Kaname that he was not an easy opponent in this type of endeavor. "I would rather talk about the girl now."

"_What?"_ Kaname flinched.

"Yes. She was very kind, and a quiet soul. I _never_ needed to worry about being struck or thrown in front of cars." Sousuke paused for effect. He had judged the chance of being struck to be of very low probability. Additionally, there were no taxi cabs in the kitchen area.

"Ok. I see. Well, don't stop _now_, Sousuke." Kaname knew exactly what Sousuke was doing. She really enjoyed seeing his continued attempts at meeting her on her own ground. She would find some way to get back at him, never fear.

It was her responsibility Sousuke needed training, whether he knew it or not.

"The things I had learned elsewhere had come to fruit there. I never once blew up her correspondence... forgot her homework... placed her in life or death situations... or brought infectious agents into her presence." Sousuke looked over at Kaname. She looked like she was in control. "I also never told her that she was beautiful." He looked again. Kaname had let a quick smile slip. "But, she _did_ touch her lips to mine on one occasion."

"_What?"_ Kaname's face grew concerned, and then went back to normal.

"But I digress. The human body begins as a single cell...the fertilized ovum we learned about in high school. Yet, a mature human being consists of approximately 75 trillion cells, spread across an amazing spectrums of types. The potential of molecular manufacturing through Nanotechnology is comparable. If the technology reaches full fruit, some processes could result in the equivalent of growing Da Dannan or an army of Arm Slaves from the mechanical equivalent of a single fertilized egg."

"Humpty Dumpty was an egg, Sousuke." Kaname smiled a wicked smile. Mention some kiss would he? Hah! It was probably platonic.

"Kaname, that is a child's story, from a foreign country. Humpty Dumpty was in reality a cannon from the English Civil War of1642-49. It was placed at St Mary at the Walls church and caused considerable damage to Lord Fairfax's attacking forces before a concentration of roundhead fire onto the church brought the gun tumbling down." Sousuke decide that he would try something Kaname was fond of. "Hmmmpppfff!" he turned to pay attention to something across the room.

For a moment, Kaname stood there staring. Then she smiled and ran at Sousuke. She had a batter-filled spoon in her hand. That's it, you're going down!

The kitchen, arranged as it was, allowed Kaname to approach Sousuke quickly. His back turned when she started, he reacted instinctively when she starled him.. A lightning quick step to the side was followed by a shoulder turn and lean. Grabbing Kaname, he had her airborne before he realized what was going on. Almost instantaneously, he changed his move, grabbing the spoon with one hand and Kaname with the other. Cradling her through the air, he brought her around his body and set her down gently on her feet.

"I apologize," he said, looking into her frightened eyes. She still wasn't certain what had just happened. "I reacted automatically. Part of me knew that you were the only one within reach, so I adjusted accordingly."

Her heart racing, Kaname looked at Sousuke, and then looked at the spoon. Not a drop of food had been spilled. Sousuke's level of body control had been amazing. She was shaken up, but not hurt. Still, she was forced to wonder. Was Sousuke always on a hair-trigger? Was that how he had survived for so many years, placed in situations as a child that many adults had no chance of living through? Could he ever adjust his reactions around her?

Did all that mean she couldn't be playful in some ways? More importantly, did it mean that she wasn't entirely safe around him?

"You look frightened, Kaname." Sousuke himself was concerned. "Are you worried that I may be like the wild animals they always talk about?"

"Animals?" Kaname took the spoon when Sousuke offered it to her.

"People often think that lion or tiger cubs are very pleasant and wish them for pets. However, even trained well and raised with love and attention, they can revert back to their animal instincts at any time, even if they are placid and well-behaved for a majority of their lives." By the manner of his statement, Kaname could tell that Sousuke had thought on this point before. "The same goes for other animals that have not been domesticated... or even some domesticated animals that are raised in difficult environments."

"Should I be afraid, Sousuke?" Kaname new she was worried about one thing, now. She was worried how Sousuke might answer. "Is it something you can change? I can't be sure that I might not do spontaneous things when we're together." She ran one hand slowly up and down her leg.

"I need to adapt my mindset. I have done a similar thing before, in high school. You often struck swiftly and without warning with your halisen, but I did not react in that manner. I was acting in so many new ways today, that I was distracted. It is inexcusable... but correctable." Sousuke sighed. "Perhaps I should not attempt to be something I am not..."

Kaname swallowed and took a deep breath. She was still a little concerned, but thought she understood what Sousuke meant. "I would _not_ like that Sousuke. Maybe we just need to take things slowly, so you have an opportunity to adjust a little at a time. I really like the way you've changed over the years. Very much. I also like what I've seen over the past day or so."

"I do not wish to cause you even the slightest discomfort, Kaname. It may be better if----"

"**SOUSUKE!"** wanted to be certain she had his undivided attention.

"Kaname?"

Kaname put the spoon down. "If you're scared, fine. But I will handle this. There's something special inside of you that has never had a chance to fully develop. Do you understand? You owe it to yourself to see what you can be." Kaname shook Sousuke again, then leaned up against him. "If you really want me to be as happy as I can, you also owe it to _me."_ Kaname knew that last statement was a little selfish. But, she also thought that it might spur Sousuke to do as she said.

"I see. I..."

"Now would be a very good time to hug me, Mister." Kaname burrowed her head into his shoulder.

"Affirmative." Sousuke wrapped his arms gingerly around Kaname.

"I'm _not_ going to break, Sousuke." There was tender, and there was overly timid. The first was great. They should be past the other by now, no matter what.

Sousuke tightened his arms and let out a long sigh. "No. You are very strong Kaname. Perhaps you will need to be."

Kaname felt like shaking Sousuke. "Sousuke, don't go looking for faults. That's _my_ job." She squeezed him hard then, and then wriggled out from his embrace. She smiled up at him. "Now, open up your mouth." Kaname reached for the batter-filled spoon.

"Kaname?"

"Just do it, Sousuke!" She held the spoon up before his mouth. "Let me know how the batter tastes to you. Get an idea of how it should taste in the future, because it is perfect." She smiled.

Sousuke tasted the batter. "It is not unpleasant, Kaname."

Kaname frowned.

"It tastes good, Kaname."

Kaname smiled. "See. We can make these changes a little at a time. You're going to have to be strong too, soldier." She chuckled.

"Uhhh..."

"You _do_ want to change some for me, don't you Souske?" Kaname fluttered her eyelashes and pouted.

Sousuke stared a moment. Then, he nodded his head. "Yes." He thought for a bit. "Will you do the same, Kaname?" It was a question that he felt a need to ask.

"Maybe," Kanamae said impishly. "For me, it's optional." She stroked his arm once, and then headed back to cooking. "Now, if you're finished obsessing over that girl... whatever her name was... why don't you tell me why Mithril was so worried about Nanotechnology?"

"I will do as I must. That is a shame. It was pleasant speaking about her." Sousuke didn't crack a smile.

"Don't push your luck, Mister." Kaname grinned. "I'm not always this forgiving."

"I see. I should begin then, while I still can." Sousuke grinned too. "Nanotechnology can be used to create materials fifty times stronger than anything known, while making them lighter at the same time. In medical fields it may some day allow a cure for cancer and other diseases. But, like many powerful technologies, it poses significant risks, but in terns of accidents and willful abuse."

"How, Sousuke?"

"Nano-devices can be programmed to be self-replicating, or can be made to have only a single one time effect. The possibility of replicators going "wild" and potentially devouring anything in their path is not something to be taken lightly, however. The scientists referred to that as the 'gray goo problem.' Military Nanotechnology offers enormous potential for mischief, Kaname."

"Why don't they just ban it then?" Kaname shook her head. The world was full of enough scary things as it was.

"Such actions stand little chance of success. Despite expensive efforts, illicit drug manufacturing cannot be entirely eliminated. Larger nations had little success in controlling nuclear research in Iraq and North Korea. Even more telling was the Russian response regarding biological warfare. An international convention banned such research. The Soviets were a signatory, yet embarked on a huge program. Why?" Sousuke looked to see if Kaname could reason that out.

"Ummm. If the other countries truly intended to honor the treaty, they would have a big advantage?" Kaname called Sousuke over to the stove to watch her finish up work on the large savory pancakes.

"Very good. I may just keep you around." Sousuke did not look worried when he said that. Kaname smiled, noticing that. "Recalling that disturbing discovery, no one would risk being surpassed in Nanotechnology. History often repeats itself."

Kaname sniffed. "And you are going to tell me how, Sosusuke?" She then grinned. He was talking to her. He was in Tokyo. He was in her apartment. He was in an apron. She could be a little generous.

"Shouldn't I, Kaname?" Sousuke did wonder at times if his area of expertise would have no positive effect on a 'normal woman.'

"I wouldn't let anyone else tell me those things. With you, it's OK. If necessary, I can even make it mandatory." Kaname poured the batter and other ingredients on a hot griddle.

"Understood." Sousuke felt relieved. He found himself wanting Kaname to appreciate him for who and what he was. "In 1875, Great Britain was the world's only superpower. High Explosives were a new technology, and its inherent dangers led the nation to pass an act that barred all private experimentation in explosives and rocketry. The result, years later, was that German V-2 and V-1 weapons bombarded London and other cities rather than the other way around." Sousuke went on to tell more about his duties in Osaka, until Kaname asked him to flip the okonomiyaki for her.

"How did you like college when you were there?" Kaname debated which food to work on next. The grill was still extremely hot, so she decided to choose accordingly.

"It was not an unpleasant assignment. There were no attacks. The girl was never in any actual danger, in retrospect. I was able to learn things." Sousuke did not sound enthusiastic.

"Oh. How about here at Tokyo University?" Kaname unwrapped a package of fresh eel.

"I am enjoying the schoolwork more. The guard duty had been more hazardous, as you well know. There are..." Sousuke stopped, looking at Kaname as she faced away from him. "There are other things that I prefer too."

"Thank you, Sousuke." Kaname hoped that he had been speaking about her. "Things will only get better. I promise. Just wait and see. OK?" She would work as hard at that as she would with her studies. "Next, grilled unagi. A delicacy. Popular not only for its flavor but also for its stamina-giving properties."

"My stamina is already very good, Kaname."

Kaname twitched. Her reaction to Sousuke's comment made her blush. She knew what the big idiot meant. Still...

"Are you OK, Kaname?" Sousuke had been watching her face.

"Good unagi combines a rich flavor with an appetizing texture, crisp on the outside but tender on the inside." Kaname put her hand over her mouth and coughed. "The cooking process is what makes the eel both crisp and tender. In a reastaurant, eels are first grilled over hot charcoals, and then steamed to remove excess fat, before being seasoned with a sweetish sauce and grilled a second time. We will do our best with whatever we have at our disposal." She coughed again, still feeling as if she had swallowed something the wrong way.

"Yes. I always attempt to do the best with what I have, Kaname. I will do that with you as well."

Kaname felt herself grow warm in the face. She was glad that Sousuke could not read her thoughts. Just what had brought all this on?

While she helped Sousuke do the grilling, the young soldier told her about his first few months on the Komaba campus. He described his courses... his arrangement with the researchers... and the things he did on his own time. Kaname paid particular attention to the latter, wanting to find things they might do together that would make him more comfortable.

Sousuke also gave a detailed history of his 'harem.' Kaname was less pleased to hear about _that_, but couldn't help smiling and laughing at times. Poor Sousuke. He had sounded like he was surrounded by an enemy he couldn't fight back against. His admission that he had found a number of the girls attractive… and had been attempted to accept their offer of a dates… had earned him an eel down the back of his shirt.

"It was difficult seeing you Kaname... when I did not let you see me." Sousuke's face went stiff when he admitted that. "It was especially hard in some ways, because those other girls were so... uhhh... _interested_..."

Kaname gave him a brief hug, and then removed the eel for him. Helping him pull his shirt tail out, she realized that her hand had been trembling. "Well, you don't have to worry about that any more. Back to unagi. As for the eels themselves, the best are caught wild rather than bred in eel farms. Common wisdom is that the ideal size between 12-20 inches."

"I see then. I will remember that. Size matters. Correct?" Sousuke looked at Kaname, wondering why her eyes went wide

"Well... so they say... but..." Kaname had trouble getting the first word out. She wasn't usually one to think such racy thoughts.

"Kaname. Your low blood pressure. You are not having that circulatory problem again, are you?" Sousuke had noticed Kaname turning red.

"**NO!"** Kaname winced. "No, Sousuke. I'm doing fine. Thank you. While the eel cooks. Let's work on some Okinawan style cooking." She smiled. It was her time to show her knowledge again. "It was only 100 years ago that the kingdom of Okinawa was incorporated into Japan, and the southern islands still maintain their own distinctive culture, language and cuisine. Okinawan cooking tends toward stronger and spicier flavors than Japanese food, and is more heavily influenced by Chinese cooking styles." She reached for a platter of meat. "Pork is a very important ingredient, and every part of the pig is used, from pig's feet and pig's ears to pork tripe. Other ingredients include local seafood and native tropical vegetables and fruits."

Sousuke opened his mouth to speak, but stopped.

"Something to tell me about Okinawa, Sousuke?" Kaname raised an eyebrow.

"Another day, Kaname." Sousuke would let Kaname have her moment.

"Good. Now, could I interest you in some pig's ear or tripe?" Kaname was kidding. She didn't have either of those, and was not fond of either.

"It is not a problem. I will eat whatever you have. I have consumed much worse." Sousuke had not realized that Kaname had been joking.

"What do you mean, Sousuke? I hope you're not talking about my cooking in high school!" Kaname narrowed her eyes.

"Negative." Sousuke went on to tell Kaname about his childhood, from the days he ate slop in an orphanage in Kabul, through the days he would eat garbage, rats, dogs, and anything he could steal as a street urchin. He also mentioned the fact that he had been treated more like an enemy than a fellow fighter during his early days with the mujahadeen. He went on to describe many of the things that he had eaten during long missions.

Kaname went from shock to horror to disgust to shock again, more times than she could count. Souuske had never gone into this much detail about his early life before. Her sorrow for him grew, but so did her admiration. To have survived all that...

"Sousuke, was _that_ why you liked my cooking at Jindai?" Kaname reached for another eel.

"No Kaname. Most of your meals were far superior to those things." Sousuke didn't catch his slip.

"_Most_ of them? I see." Kaname scowled. Then, smiling, she backed into Sousuke hard, causing him to garb onto her in order not to lose balance and fall. "Well, I'll try to do better now. But, if you _ever_ bring any of that stuff into my kitchen, you will be leaving through that window. Do you hear me?"

"Affirmative." Tentatively, Sousuke shifted his grasp. He wrapped his arms loosely around Kaname's abdomen, a hair's breadth beneath her breasts. When she moved, he made contact with them briefly.

"I... I… I will make some Okinawan _chanpurunow." _Kaname tried to focus on what she was saying._ "_It'sbasically a stir-fry using some combination of tofu, leeks and eggs plus other ingredients." She was exquisitely aware of where Sousuke's hands rested.

"Tofu was invented over 2,000 years ago in China. Did you know that, Kaname?"

"No, Sousuke." Kaname was content just to lean back against Sousuke, glad he had initiated the action, even if his first move had been out of necessity. She wondered if that was why she felt a bit shy. He was essentially in control, not her. She chose not to curtail his exposition on the ubiquitous foodstuff.

"It was supposedly brought to Japan in the Nara period by a Japanese delegation that had ventured to China to study Buddhism, but instead came home with a shipload of hearty Chinese recipes." Sousuke was also quite aware of his hands, but did not move them. "Tofu's earliest appearances in Japanese history were as Buddhist offerings, but tofu was soon discovered to be a valuable source of protein for the vegetarian clergy. It is one of the healthiest substances known to man and can provide a complete food package. Tofu is derived from soybean milk. That milk is the best milk food in terms of nutrition, even if compared to a mother's milk."

Kaname closed her eyes. Those last words had her fantasizing. He was very tempted to move Sousuke's hands a bit higher, but was certain that would make him feel uneasy and uncomfortable.

She was just glad to be feeling what she was, despite all the things they had been through during their day of see-sawing emotions. Nothing that Sousuke had told her had made her feel any less attracted to him. If anything, they made her simple hormonally charged daydreams seem like something she truly wished for.

It was good for her to be patient, too. She wanted their bond to grow little by little, so it was strong and unbreakable. Anticipation wouldn't hurt her. It would probably make things all the more sweeter when the day came.

"Tofu is the Japanese way of pronouncing the Chinese _dòu fu_ which, surprisingly, means rotten beans." Sousuke finished with what he wanted to say.

"Great way to spark the appetite," Kaname groused. She wasn't only speaking about dinner.

The two finished their cooking together, putting some of the food aside for bento lunches they could take to school the next day. Each of them found things to tell the other about their time apart. Sousuke seemed to grow more comfortable with Kaname and her obvious feelings for him. Kaname couldn't have asked for more.

After dinner, it would be time for her to talk about her most difficult feelings and memories from the past.

But with Sousuke there, she would be alright.


	13. Chapter 13

Kaname set the table.

It was a striking effort, replete with her finest plates, glasses, and silverware.

Part of her snickered. It's just Sousuke. Why bother? He would probably be just as satisfied with paper plates or eating off the floor!_  
_  
Another part got protective. He had every right to eat off finery as the next guy. She quickly corrected herself. She did not want a next guy.

Besides, there was her pride to consider. She liked setting a nice table every now and then, just because she could. Tonight she had another reason altogether. Kaname wanted to make things as nice as possible for Sousuke. It was a way to express her growing feelings for him.

Would he understand that?She could only hope.

"The table looks very nice, Kaname." Sousuke had filled the water glasses. "You obviously went to a lot of trouble." He had a curious look in his eyes. "Did you..." He was going to ask if she had made a special effort on his behalf. But, he wondered if that was a proper thing to say.

"Yes." Kaname smiled. She had a good idea what Sousuke wanted to know. The one part of her tossed her its figurative hair and said _'Hmmppff!'_

"Oh." Sousuke was surprised that Kaname had been able to anticipate his question. She was either very bright, or she was thinking about him, trying to see how he thought. It was a very good strategy in battle. No doubt it was useful in a relationship as well._  
_  
Could he do the same? He saw Kaname's eyes on him, her mouth slightly opened. What was she waiting for?

"Thank you, Kaname." He was gratified to see her smile, as she began bringing bowls and dishes of food to the table.

Sousuke went to help, but was told point blank that he was her guest. He should relax and just watch. When he said that would also be pleasant, she blushed. He had meant that relaxation was pleasant. But, he understood her interpretation, because his eyes stayed glued on Kaname. She was humming happily to herself._  
_  
He had gotten into the habit of paying more and more attention to the girls in his 'harem.' But, he had never felt quite this way before. It was confounding and intriguing at the same time. Every time he looked, he wanted to look longer. Everywhere he looked, he grew more embarrassed.

_But, he wanted to see more._

Kaname bent over to open a cabinet, looking for a large sampling platter. Sousuke swallowed hard. It wasn't as if he hadn't noticed women before. In the past, he had simply blanked out the initial feelings and never let them follow their own course. Kaname had somehow changed his habits. The result was... interesting.

It was enough just for him to admit that to himself. Kaname obviously would like to know how he felt on that matter, but he found the idea of telling her near incomprehensible at the moment. No, not simply incomprehensible, but also debilitating. Even fear inducing._  
_  
He sighed, not liking to be tied up in mental or emotional knots. He was a Specialist.

"Something bothering you?" Kaname walked over with the first few dishes, carrying two in her hands and balancing one on her arm.

"Uhhh... it is not a problem, Kaname." He couldn't help himself. He felt a need to stare at her eyes and mouth. It made him feel good when she smiled in response.

"Well, that's an improvement, _isn't _it Sousuke?" Kaname winked.

Sousuke suddenly had a wild thought. Could she read minds? Was that a Whispered talent? If it was, he was in big trouble.

When Kaname came back and placed more food on the table, she ran her hand across Sousuke's hair. He decided that it was time to gather intelligence. "Kaname... I always wondered, after your assistance of Captain Tesstarossa against A21... can... uhhh... are the Whispered able to read people's minds? Is that one of the reasons that they were being sought, aside form the Black Technology?"

Kaname stopoped in the middle of putting a dish down. Why would Sousuke ask _that?_ Unless he was worried about her realizing what he was thinking...

Mmmmm. That's nice. It opened up some intriguing possibilities. She didn't even mind the mention of Tessa. "Yes, Sousuke. But you need to keep that a secret. It would put me in danger if you didn't." Kaname hugged herself figuratively. This could be fun.

Wait. It wasn't fair to take advantage of Sousuke. She thought a moment more. It _was _fair to take advantage of Sousuke, as long as it was in his best interest. She was in his best interest.

"Ahhh. Well. I apologize. It..." Sousuke's eyes looked a little wild.

"It's only natural, Sousuke." Kaname came over, moved his arm off of the table, and sat on his lap. "A bit naughty, but natural. Right?" She almost cursed herself for being this aggressive. She was not wanton by any means.

_But, this was fun..._

There was no telling how many days she would be able to spend with a certain soldier, before Fate stepped in and snatched him away again. Why not make hay while the sunwas shining?Besides, if their relationship continued to grow in leaps and bounds, might he change his allegiance form Mithril to her? If not anytime soon, maybe some day?

It didn't cost anything to dream!

"Yes... it would appear so... but... it is...disrespectful." Sousuke was quite aware of Kaname's weight on him. He was stimulated by the smell of her perfume. The softness pressing against him threatened to distract him altogether.

Kaname leaned over and whispered in Sousuke's ear. "It's natural to look, Sousuke. It's rude to stare if the attention is unwanted or excessive. It's only a shame if you don't stare, when the attention is wanted."

She fought the temptation to nibble Sousuke's ear. Just where did that impulse come from? It was probably some subconscious realization that women were always in control.

"Uhhh…"

"Can't you tell the difference?" Kaname pressed against him.

"I think so. Uhhh... yes... sometimes." Sousuke sat there, wondering if his urge to put his hand on Kaname's leg was proper. If it was... and she could read minds... then she would tell him so.

_If she could read minds._

If that were indeed the case, she would not be sitting there smiling, even though she was getting him excited in ways that were new and enticing. No. Not with what he had briefly thought.

He had a hypothesis. It was time to test it. He was too good of a soldier to act on information he was uncertain about. If Kaname were trying to fool him, she would have earned this. "I could tell that those other girls were rather interested in me." Sousuke braced for impact. That ought to answer his question if he survived. "Especially when they picked out their clothes."

He could take it a step further. It was dangerous, but he would risk it. No guts, no glory. "Most other girls make it a point to wear brassieres."

"Wh-Wh-What?" Kaname sat up straight, almost falling over backwards.

That would suggest she was surprised, unless she made it a point to turn off her talent at times. Knowing Kaname, if she could read minds, she would be focused strongly on him now. He would continue. Why? Because it was necessary to do so in order to arrive at the correct conclusion.

It was not for fun. Enjoyment would merely be an unavoidable consequence of his act. Of course.

"Is it uncomfortable for a woman to bounce around that much?" Sousuke wondered if he was descending into madness. This kind of comment usually earned Kurz a large boot in the face from Melissa.

"Y-Y-You..." Kaname's face turned bright red. She had not expected this turn of events. Ooooh. That boy was going to really pay some day!_  
_  
"Uhhh... never mind... is that all of the food?" Sousuke tried to look innocent.

Kaname was not going to leave it at that. No way! "Sousuke... d-d-do you look at me t-too..." Kaname changed tact. She did want to hear Sousuke actually admit that he did. But, she was going to make sure that he did not think that he had the upper hand.

"Uhhh..." Where did his control go? This was just like a fierce A.S. battle between equally matched pilots and machines. If luck didn't favor the victor, experience often did.

_He was in trouble.  
_  
"Sousuke, I really need to know..." Kaname wondered if Sousuke would read her change in approach as a ploy.

"Yes." Sousuke decided to go for the truth. Thinking of this as a match of wits, he would no longer feel embarrassed. As long as he kept repeating that fact to himself.

"I see. So, am I wearing a bra or not?" Kaname smiled triumphantly. That ought to do it. They should start engraving her name on the trophy. Nice try, soldier._  
_  
She expected Sousuke to look and blush, or to begin sweating and blush. He did neither. Instead, he closed his eyes.

"Kaname, I will think the answer." Just like in combat, the opportunity that Sousuke needed presented itself. "You can read it from my mind."

Kaname's smile suddenly fell away. That big jerk! Just how did he pull that one off? Grrr-r-r-r-r-r-r-r...

"Oh. I see. It doesn't pay to underestimate you, _does_ it? To be honest with you Sousuke, I can' really read minds." Kaname got up off of Sousuke's lap. Don't start your victory lap just yet, mister. The game is not over yet. "But, that does _not _mean that I can't tell what you're thinking." She kissed the top of his head. "Thank you." She went to get the last of the food.

Sousuke sat pondering. How would he ever tell if he won or lost?

Perhaps they both won.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kaname was busy rummaging through her hallway closet, cursing to herself.

"Where _are_ they? I thought they were in here. Damn. Damn damn damn damndamndamn."

Sousuke moved silently. Kaname never had a clue that he was standing watching her. A box of light bulbs came flying out of the closet. The sound it made hitting the floor suggest she would need more new light bulbs.

Two unopened boxes of tissues, a pair of worn old gloves, and a package of vacuum cleaner bags almost hit Sousuke. Almost. He easily moved and snagged them out of the air. He handed them out to Kaname.

"Oh, Sousuke. What…" Kaname stood up too quickly, hitting her head on the door. "Owwwwww. _Sous-kayyyy_..."

That damn door again. No. That damn Sousuke again. She should put a bell on him or something.

_She smiled, picturing that._

"Yes, Kaname? What are you looking for?" Sousuke was amused by Kaname's behavior, but not by the look on her face. She had certainly retained her temper. It just seemed under better control nowadays. "The halisen?" He asked that last question when he saw her scowl.

Kaname stopped frowning, and then blushed. "Sorry, Sousuke. I was looking for some nice candles that I had bought. They would look very nice on the table."

"I see. Other things burn well, Kaname." Sousuke spoke conversationally. He knew something that she didn't. He would tell her later.

"Sousuke! Don't even _think_ about it!" Kaname's face was very intense. She was flooded by memories of otakus past. She kept praying she would be paid a visit by otakus present and future.

"Or, if you like, I have a long-duration cluster flare in my bag..." Souske grinned. "It might last one course of food, maybe two. But,it would _not_ remain lit until dessert." He saw Kaname's face relax and her mouth beginning to turn up at the corners. She knew he was playing. "It would be rather smoky though, and would stain your ceiling. And the walls. Cabinetry. Counters. Sink. Table. Floor…" He didn't have a chance to finish.

Kaname took a large woolen hat out of the closet and pulled it down over Sousuke's head. "Hmmmpppfff! Men. Once you get them to start talking, they never shut up!" She chuckled and kissed Sousuke through the hat.

When Sousuke took the hat off, Kaname was looking at him strangely.

"Kaname?" Sousuke placed the hat neatly in he closet.

"Have you ever laughed, Sousuke?" Kaname wasn't certain where that question had come from.

Sousuke was equally taken aback. Was this a critical issue with Kaname?"I do not recall, Kaname." Sousuke knew that his answer essential meant 'No.' He had never thought much about that before. He wondered that fact meant.

"Oh. I see. Do you ever find yourself thinking that something is truly funny? I don't mean just amusing..." For some reason, the question bothered Kaname. With the upbringing Sousuke had, he may never have found reason to find anything humorous.

She couldn't imagine herself unable to laugh and express her joy. Did Sousuke ever feeljoy?She had so many questions about him. He was so different than everybody else.

"Yes, Kaname. I do not feel an urge to laugh when things are funny. Perhaps the things are not funny enough, or I simply have not found the right circumstance." Sousuke looked at Kaname, wondering if her question indicated some disapproval or disappointment on her behalf.

It would not be a problem. He had lived through that in Tokyo often enough. Still, the question left him feeling a bit uneasy.

"Oh. Let's go eat then. And don't go pretending I can read minds again, Mister." Kaname took Sousuke's arm and pulled him along.

""I will not, Kaname. If you could, you would realize something that I thought was funny." He reached out and touched Kaname's forehead tenderly. "Is this sore?"

"Yes, very." Kaname stopped. "What was funny Sousuke? Me banging my head?" Her lips formed a tight straight line.

"No. Although that _does_ make the fact somewhat more humorous." Sousuke looked over at one of the countertops in the kitchen. He grinned.

Kaname followed his gaze. Her hands curled into fists. "It figures. Geez..." She turned to look at Sousuke. She licked her lips. "Why didn't you tell me that I left the candles on the counter?"

Sousuke reacted incredulously at first. How could he have known that they were what she was looking for until she had told him? By that time, she had already tossed the things on the floor and banged her head.

She must be playing again. Wasn't she?_  
_  
He could honestly say that he did not know what she was looking for. She might then say he should have. He might have said that she was so clever, that he never would have guessed that she would have made such an oversight. She would probably find some reason to blame him for the oversight.

No. There was something else he could do. "Because I am unworthy of you, Kaname." He bowed his head.

"Well, as long as you know that. _Hmmppff!"_ Kaname smiled. Souske certainly did have a sense of humor. His not being able to laugh was not a problem. Too many of the guys she had gone out with laughed at their own jokes, or at anything coarse or corny they heard.

She could do without any more of that. OK. She'd take him. As long as he came with a warranty!

_She probably couldn't even understand the instruction booklet if there was one._

Sousuke was thinking along similar lines. He usually took what other people said with a grain of salt--especially self-adorned experts and things that were considered 'common' knowledge. One concept that he heard made sense, however. A number of men had complained that they would never understand women.

He did not feel so bad. He was not alone. And, he was showing progress. Before meeting Kaname again, he wouldn't have even thought much about trying to understand a woman's thoughts. Now it seemed an important mission, even if it was one doomed to failure.

When they were finally sitting at the dinner table, Kaname led them in some small talk, purposefully staying away from anything serious. There would be enough of that later. She watched very carefully as Sousuke sampled everything that she had cooked. Yes, she would like a little positive reinforcement. But, she was also very much interested in which things he liked and which he didn't.

"What's wrong, Sousuke?" Kaname wondered if he didn't like something she had prepared.

"The items that I cooked using your instructions did not turn out as well as yours did. That is a discouraging outcome for a professional." He stared down at his plate. The tempura he had made looked very much like the tempura that Kaname had made. But, his was greasy and falling apart, while hers was perfect. It was illogical to think that she had somehow conspired against him.

"Really? Makes you want to shoot it?" Kaname grinned.

"No." Sousuke preseed his lips together and looked up at Kaname.

"Blow it up?" Kaname chuckled. The look on Sousuke's face was a true Kodak moment.

"Negative." Sousuke scowled at Kaname's reaction. That only made Kaname giggle, covering her mouth with her hand.

"Then what _do _you want to do with it?" Kaname smiled fondly at her boyfriend.

Sousuke thought a moment, rubbing his chin. "I would like _you_ to try it, Kaname." Sousuke made a tent of his arms and hid his grin behind his hands.

Kaname looked at the pancakes that Sousuke made. Both eyebrows rose. "Men don't have to worry about their diet as much as women do... I really shouldn't eat too much." Kaname looked over at the tempura that Sousuke had made. "You don't want me to lose my girlish figure, _do_ you?"

"That is not a problem. It is a part of you, isn't it? How could you lose it?" Sousuke kept a straight face. The more he joked, the easier it became.

What would Kurz and Melissa think? Or Cmdr. Mardukas? Maybe a mature sense of humor wasn't really a good thing after all…

Kaname just closed her eyes. She wasn't even going to respond to that one.

"But, if you do not wish to examine the materials that you yourself taught me to make, I will try to understand. It is not the most important thing, however." Kaname used this method. The creation of a false and prospective feeling of guilt. Simple, but potentially effective. "I will still consider you very beautiful to look at." Flattery and appreciation of her appearance also appeared highly effective.

Kaname blushed, seeing Sousuke looking at her. Instinctively she moved a little more forward in her seat. Her eyes focused on his. Something suddenly seemed physically wrong, but she didn't want to be distracted by anything at the moment.

Sousuke smiled. "If I was one to laugh, I would be laughing now, Kaname."

"What?" Kaname broke free of her spell. _"Why?"  
_  
Sousuke pointed at the table in front of Kaname. She had brought her elbow down on a stack of pancakes. "Is that what you think of my cooking, Kaname?"

Kaname was anything but amused. She was embarrassed. That was the kind of thing that some other guy or gal should have done, but not Kaname Chidori. She was suddenly unhappy to see Sousuke with a sense of humor, since it was at her expense.

_And, she really liked this blouse._

Worst of all, there was nothing very romantic about a woman staring into her boyfriend's eyes... thinking dreamy thoughts... her elbow stuck in the middle of greasy pork Okonomiyaki!

Damn! But, wait. That didn't mean she couldn't come up with something else romantic. When the world gives you lemons, make lemonade. Hmmm. Oh, that would be very nice. It would teach Sousuke something, too. All she needed was an angle.

"I'm going to need to soak this so the stain doesn't set. I'll be right back." Kaname stood up and went over to the laundry area, carrying a wide deep bowl with her.

One part of her had a rather randy suggestion that was by no means acceptable. She would not be taking off her dress... putting it in the washer... and returning to the table dressed in her underwear.

_It was much too soon for that._

She came back to the table and put the bowl of water and stain remover on the table. She placed her elbow into it. "I'm going to need your help, Sousuke. Could you please bring your chair over here." Kaname fought to keep a smile off her face. She was really looking forward to this. The big buffoon better play along, whether or not he caught on to what she was doing. "Oh. The top drawer on the right, behind me. Could you get some chopsticks too?"

"Kaname?"

"Pleeeeeease..." Kaname had a very soulful look on her face.

Souske did as he was asked. What was she up to now?

"OK, Sousuke. Now you can assist me in eating. Pick up whatever you want on the chopsticks; then, I'll open my mouth and you can put the food in." Kaname licked her lips.

"Uhhh..."

Kaname smiled, her heart filled with affection for Sousuke. Who else could make her feel that way with an 'Uhhh...'?

"I'm ready, Sousuke." Kaname blushed. Someday those same words might prelude something entirely different. At least she hoped so._  
_  
There was no sense in putting the cart before the horse. She was so used to having things go wrong in her life. Just once. Could things go the way she wanted? At least for a little while? 

She had to believe that there was reason to hope. Things had gone so much further tonight than she had the right to wish for. They may never progress much beyond this stage. But, they certainly might!_  
_  
"Affirmative." Sousuke swallowed. He should have known better than to get to far ahead of himself. He was not as mature as he thought he was. His hand was trembling ever so slightly. "Here you are Kaname." Sousuke carefully picked up a small morsel with the chopsticks and place the food in Kaname's mouth. She had been debating whether she should slowly press her lips against the wood. But, she had an altogether unexpected reaction.

After she swallowed, she began coughing. "Ugh… what was _that_, Sousuke?" Tears came to her eyes.

"My tempura sweet potato. You forgot to taste it before." Sousuke felt satisfied at first. But, he realized that he had hurt Kaname's feelings in the process.

She obviously had something in mind. What? Oh. Maybe that was it.

"I... you... _ooooh_..." Kaname stopped her incipient explosion. Sousuke had put his finger over her lips.

"Here. I'll do it correct this time." He held out a piece of the tempura prawn that Kaname had cooked. Did Kaname want him to show that he cared? Was this some form of standard courtship activity? What might his actions oblige him to do later?_  
_  
Kaname wouldn't open her mouth. Closing her eyes, she shrugged her shoulder and sat still.

"My apologies. I will put my chair back where it belongs." Sousuke stood up.

How long would it take for Kaname to respond? He looked down at his watch.

"Did I give you permission to get up, Sousuke?" Kaname still had her eyes closed.

"Uhhh... no. Do I need permission?" Sousuke looked down at his watch. It had only been two seconds.

Kaname had a calculating look in her eyes. Wrong answer, Sousuke. Way wrong answer!

"Only if you ever want me to forgive you, Sousuke." Kaname opened her eyes.

Sousuke looked at Kaname. No doubt this was part of the game too. Kaname obviously expected him to play along. He would do so. Sitting, he took up the chopsticks again. He held the prawn up for Kaname.

She shook her head. "You need to use your fingers now, Sousuke." She smiled.

Just go with the flow. That which doesn't kill him will make him stronger. Anything that made him stronger would make her happier.

"Uhhh..." Sousuke did as he was asked. He was relived when she didn't bite him.

Kaname wanted to sample everything, keeping Sousuke busy. When he handed her a ball of takoyaki, she bit his fingers softly. It was fun watching a trained soldier blush. When he handed her a lump of unagi, she wrapped her lips around his finger. It had been precious seeing him jump ever so slightly.

She had stepped beyond her usual boundaries. It felt great. Her goal was to someday make it feel great for a special young man as well. "Thank you Sousuke. I can take care of things by myself now. I'm very proud of you." Kaname gave Sousuke a pat on the knee. "Good job, soldier."

"Kaname?"

"I wouldn't trade you for anyone in the world, Sousuke." She felt warm, seeing the look on Sousuke's face.

The two of them would do just fine.

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

Kaname finished cleaning the last of the dishes.

She had thought about leaving them for later, wanting to further the mood she had worked hard to create around her and Sousuke. It had been so wonderful.

But, the pots, pans, dishes, and wok would be harder to clean later if they sat too long. And, she had needed to come back down to earth some, before she would be ready to talk to Sousuke about her past.

He had kindly asked if he could assist her in the clean-up. That had made her feel very good. Not one of the other guys she had cooked for in the past had made a similar offer. None of them even offered to help clear the table.

_But, it was time she needed to spend alone._

She couldn't let the unfolding events of the evening seduce her in a way Sousuke himself did not know how to do. She could not allow herself any excuse to avoid her difficult task.

Despite the growing sense of tension within her, Kaname smiled warmly, remembering something Sousuke had said before she sent him into the living room to wait. She had told him it was his job to go, relax, and get the couch warmed-up. His face had looked shocked for a moment. That look would be secreted away, placed in her mental scrapbook. 

_'If I can clean a gun... or an ARX-9... I am certain that I can clean dinner utensils.'_

Three years ago, Kaname would have had given him some angry or arrogant reply, putting him down for being an otaku. Tonight, she had smiled at his way of expressing himself, touched by his generosity.

How might she have behaved hearing that, if the two of them had been near one another for the past three years? Might she have acted just as snippily as she had in the past?

Could the separation have been a good thing? That really didn't matter now.

As long as he was near her.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sousuke leaned back and closed his eyes.

His wound from the fight with the terrorists was hurting again. He should have taken better care of it on the scene, but he had been more worried about Kaname. It certainly didn't help, carrying her all that distance.

But, that had been all he could think about at the time. _Kaname Chidori._ She was so different now. The things that he had admired about her before were still there. The things that had made him sweat or stare were still there as well, but they were even more distracting than before. And the reactions they caused in him were certainly more drastic.

_He needed these quiet moments now, just to regain his equilibrium.  
_  
By all accounts, Kaname was like a Specialist in what she had done tonight. Whenever an opportunity arose, she made good use of it. When she had been faced with a difficult or unsettling moment, she rose to the occasion. And, she was certainly very dangerous.Yes. Somehow, she had managed to access parts of Sousuke that had been untapped before.

It seemed to have pleased her. That was good. But, it had left him uncertain. That was not necessarily bad. Especially since he had seemed to be responding unconsciously to certain cues.

Sousuke ran his hand through his hair. This was almost like walking down a dark and deserted street, gun in hand, looking carefully for an enemy whose position is unknown to you. You could be hunting them.

_They could be hunting you._

There could be benefits from moving forward boldly, but only if you knew what lay ahead, and were sure what you were up against. He didn't. And, he felt like such a greenhorn. He was reacting blindly to the things he sensed and felt.

Perhaps that was the correct approach in this situation. There could be benefits from moving carefully, heading from one point of cover to another... biding time... learning the lay of the land. But, that approach worked best when there was a mission objective, even one as simple as 'make it home alive'.

What was his mission objective here? He wasn't really sure. Perhaps he should simply look to Kaname as his squad leader in this endeavor. It would be wise to let her lead. He would not be embarrassed, led by a woman. He had followed Melissa. Not to mention Tessa.

But, that had been as a professional. This was personal. It was still somewhat amazing to Sousuke that he had something personal.

Kaname.The very sight of her had him feeling on edge, filled with a sense of anticipation and excitement. Before, he had only felt that way when he ran across an exceedingly rare military history text... found a new weapon he particularly like... or prepared for a battle against numerically superior forces.

_But, this was different._

Her voice... her perfume... certain postures she adopted... the feel of her body pressed against him... the wetness of her lips and his fingers. Sousuke swallowed. Even those fresh memories had their own power over him.

He had worked hard to deal with her loss before. The feelings he had before were strong, but nothing compared to the ones he had felt tonight . It was like comparing a Colt Peacemaker to an HK MP-7.

When he was called away from Tokyo again, how would these new discoveries affect him? How much more painful would it be to deal with the separation form Kaname next time?

Was it wise you set himself up for such mental and emotional turmoil? How was he helping himself by letting down his guard, the way he was tonight? Were his actions a breaking of faith with Mithril? Should he be feeling guilty now? Would it be best if he simply resisted?

_Negative!_

Not only was he discovering things about himself, he also seemed to be making Kaname happy. Learning something about himself, even if it caused him discomfort later, was important. But, taking care of Kaname, in whatever way was possible, was the most important thing of all.

That wasn't just a carry-over from his time at Jindai High School. The need to see that she was both happy and healthy had wrapped itself around him like a vine. Sure, some of the growth had started before, in high school. But, new shoots had broken ground and started their work, growing and twining around him. While he felt somewhat more entangled, he paradoxically felt more free. Why?

Looking up, he saw Kaname walking towards him, a number of photograph albums in her arms. Her step was somewhat hesitant, and her posture did not speak of self-assuredness.

_She had difficult things to talk about.  
_  
The fact that she would speak to him of things she that she would tell no other, made him feel good and uncomfortable at the same time. He had a very big responsibility here. Not only did he need to listen, but he also needed to offer comfort and support.

Could he do that? He would do his best. At the very least, he would be learning more about Kaname. In the process, he would also find out some things about himself.

That was a good thing._  
_  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kaname sat down on the couch next to Sousuke.

The books she had gone for sat heavily on her lap. It was time. She needed to do this. For herself as well as the man she had once hurt.

_For the man she was falling in love with again._

It wasn't as if she hadn't discussed such things with people before. She had, with Kyouko and a few other choice friends. But, she had never truly opened up entirely, allowing herself to become completely vulnerable. Tonight she would._  
_  
"Miss me?" She asked Sousuke. If he said 'I was never aiming at you, Kaname,' she would smack him over the head with one of the albums.

"Yes." Sousuke looked down at the photo albums, and then up at Kaname's eyes. It was probably best to forgo levity, even in self defense.

"I'm _really_ glad you're here with me tonight, Sousuke." Kaname's eyes grew wider and her lips parted. "I hope you feel the same way." She curled her lower lip under her upper one.

"Affirmative." Sousuke lowered his eyes. There were a lot of things he still needed to think through. But there was one thing he was certain of. "I cannot... uhhh..." He looked up again, mesmerized by the look on her face. "I cannot think of any place I would rather be." He swallowed hard.

For some reason, that had been hard to admit. Why did he suddenly feel so anxious? His hands were gripping his knees painfully. He needed to relax...

Kaname's eyes teared up. She leaned over and gave Sousuke a quick kiss on the cheek. For a moment, she felt dizzy. "I thought we'd look at these first." She opened the photo album that held pictures from her time at Jindai High School. "Is that OK?" She watched Sousuke's mouth and eyes.

_How would he react to this?_

"Yes. I will follow your lead, Kaname. I trust your judgment." Sousuke's eyes looked over the first page of familiar faces that Kaname had opened to, before he looked back at Kaname. He thought a moment, wondering how to put his thoughts into words. "You need not worry about what I want now. This is something for you most of all. That is how it should be."

"Thank you, Sousuke." Kaname felt a feeling of warmth spread through her. It was unlike anything she had felt before.

"I will say this, though. Do not go further than you are able. There is nothing that you can say that will harm me. But, do not cause yourself undue harm trying to make a sacrifice on my behalf. This is _not_ battle. If circumstances allow, you may always stop, and then wait until you're better prepared." He nodded his head, asking a question that she had a habit of using. "Understood?"

"Yes." Kaname smiled. She scooted over a little closer to Sousuke. The two of them paged through the album. Kaname told Sousuke that she had originally taken out all of the pictures that had any reference to a certain moody military maniac. It had been quite a coincidence that she had glued them in not long before she stumbled across him again.

Even though Sousuke was with her now, Kaname had a slight bit of difficulty with her voice as she showed him some of the pictures that Kyouko had take not long after Sousuke's mission had ended.

Sousuke hung his head. In each of the pictures, Kaname had tried to smile, but her eyes looked more like those of a captive being tortured. He gripped his knees again, harder than before. He was responsible for that. His getting close to her, and his allowing her to do the same in return, had opened her up to tremendous sadness and pain.

_The pictures were not easy to look at.  
_  
"It's OK, Sousuke." Kaname gave Sousuke a kiss on the cheek, and then pried his hands off of his knees. "None of that pain remains. Not right now."

"I..." Sousuke never had the chance to say what he intended to.

"And don't worry about the future. Not tonight." She squeezed his hand. "Please."

"As you wish." Sousuke shivered for a moment. His choice of words had reminded him of _The_ _Princess Bride_ and the narration at the beginning of that movie. Wesley would say "As you wish,' whenever Buttercup would order the farm boy around. What he was really saying was 'I love you'.

Sousuke could not be certain just how deeply he cared about Kaname. Not yet._  
_  
"Sousuke? Is there something wrong?" Kaname looked concerned for a moment.

"Negative." He hoped that she would not probe any further.

Kaname had a calculating look in her eyes at first, but simply gave Sousuke a pat on the cheek and turned her attention back to the photo album. As they viewed each page, Kaname spoke about some of her feelings at the time. It was an instructive time for Sousuke. For Kaname, it was catharsis.

"Congratulations Kaname," Sousuke said when he saw Kaname's graduation photos.

"Thank you, Sousuke." Kaname wormed her hand under Sousuke's. Finished with the first album, she needed a short moment of support before moving on to the next.

Sousuke noted the subtle changes in Kaname. He squeezed her hand, looking over at the second photo album. He wondered what was in that one.

"Hanging in there, Sousuke?" Kaname smiled a lopsided smile at the young soldier.

"I'm a Specialist." He answered.

Kaname looked at him, and then gave him a quick hug. "Yes. You certainly are..."

Who else could make her feel the way she did now?


	14. Chapter 14

Kaname placed the older photo album on her lap.

She sighed. It was time. The wounds she had from long ago were stronger. Time hadn't taken away their ability to sting and bite.

Sousuke was looking on patiently, a look of concern on his face. Kaname respected him for that. He had been through so many tough times, that he could have become burned-out altogether. He hadn't.

There was no way to miss the fact that he was still affected and influenced by his past life; but, he still showed an ability to learn and grow. And, with all the pain and suffering he had gone through, he could have grown blind to suffering in others. If not blind, then uninterested. Again, he hadn't._  
_  
She hoped that she could help him reach his potential. Sousuke could end up being someone very special. No, he was that already. He could end up being even more than he was now.

"Would you like any coffee or tea, Sousuke? Soda?"

"No, thank you. But I will get you some, if you wish." Sousuke began to stand up.

Kaname shook her head. She looked at the album. Taking a deep breath, she opened it. "Here's me as a baby, Sousuke." It was a picture of Kaname in her mother's arms. It had been taken at their first home. Her mother looked so beautiful.

The two college students spent time looking at pictures from Kaname's early childhood. "This is a picture of me when I was seven, Sousuke." She pointed to a picture of her playing outside in the snow. "That's my sister. Her snow suit was _way_ too large for her."

"You had short hair, Kaname?" Sousuke replied. He ran his hand over the photograph gingerly.

"What are you feeling, Sousuke?" Kaname's voice was low. She had caught sight of a look in his eyes that she couldn't place.

"It must be nice, having pictures of your youth." Sousuke's thoughts went deeper than that. He thought that it must have been nice having that kind of existence when one is young. "You also have a sister."

"Do you have any family at all, Sousuke?" Kaname knew that Sousuke's mother and father had been killed by soldiers in Afghanistan.

"No. I had a brother and a sister. They died with my parents. I was the only one who managed to escape. There was a place I used to hide when I was scolded." Sousukes face went blank. "It… I…"

Kaname caressed Sousuke's cheek. Sousuke had one-upped her again, in a sense. Yet, she felt no competitiveness now. Neither of them had deserved what they had gone through before. If anything, they deserved nothing but happiness now.

"Do you remember them, Sousuke? Do you have any pictures?" Kaname wished she could somehow give him some if he didn't. If she had the chance, she would find a way to get pictures of the two of them whenever she able.

"I barely remember my father. He was strong and kind. When he had time, he carved things for me and told me stories. My mother's face has not faded as much as my father's. It was the first thing I saw when I woke most mornings. She held me a lot, and would comfort me when I was hurt or frightened. My brother and sister would follow me around. They would try to do all the things that I did. I do not remember much of what they looked like." Sousuke ran his fingers over another picture of Kaname, roughly similar in age.

"Oh. I'm _so_ sorry, Sousuke." She put her hand on Sousuke's and interlaced their fingers. "This is another picture of me when I was seven." Kaname tightened her grip on Sousuke's hand. "A month or so after this picture, I ran away from home."

"Were you under attack, Kaname?" Sousuke looked startled. Kaname had a home. Why else would she have wished to leave such a place?

"No, Sousuke. I just wanted to run away. I didn't really understand why until later." Kaname's eyes looked troubled. "My mother and father fought a lot. It was loud. I was frightened. I think I may have come to believe that I was at fault." Kaname swallowed hard. "My parents loved each other. But, in those days, my father's job wasn't going well, I've been told. There were a lot of stresses on him. I also had some problems at school. I had a speech impediment, and the other children made fun of me."

"Your voice is beautiful now_."_ Sousuke felt an urge to tell that to Kaname. He wished that she had never had to face the things that she had.

_But because she had been through difficult times, he somehow felt closer to her now._

"Thank you, Sousuke. I'm glad that you think so. Do I have a beautiful voice when I shout at you, too?" Kaname managed a smile. She mussed Sousuke's hair, and then laughed when he made a face. Looking at the next picture, she became serious again. "My father's voice was very scary when he shouted, especially when he shouted at _me."_

"Did your father strike you, or your mother?" Sousuke had to work up the nerve to ask that . It was more difficult discussing someone else's bad times than it was reminiscing about his own.

"I never saw him hit my mother. He wasn't _really_ angry at her. He was frustrated, and under a great deal of stress. It wasn't her fault. He struck me sometimes, and it frightened me. But, it didn't happen very often, and he always held me afterwards, sorry that he hurt me." Kaname sat back a moment and worked a kink out of her wounded shoulder. It was still sore.

"I think part of the problem was that Ayame was a needy child. She got a lot of attention, when my parents didn't have a lot to spare."

"You felt abandoned? Left out?" Sousuke remembered references that Kaname had made to that kind of feeling in the past.

"No, not yet. That came later. I needed attention too, but didn't get as much as I wanted. My parents were very busy, each of them working. They didn't have a lot of time for each other as it was. Neither one of them seemed to understand my point of view. It made me think they didn't care. My father would lecture me, telling me the right way to do things and the proper way to feel. Maybe I felt they didn't respect me." Kaname leaned over against Sousuke for a moment, closing her eyes.

Sousuke remained quiet until Kaname opened her eyes and sat up straight again. "You feel a need for attention now, Kaname? You wish for people to understand you and respect you?"

"Yes," Kaname answered. "You remember that. Kaname needs attention. And, _lots_ of it. Always agreeing with me is a great way to show respect. Kisses are too. That, and showering me with gifts."

"Kaname?" Sousuke looked skeptical.

"I know you respect me, Sousuke. Don't think that doesn't mean a lot to me. It _does._ It did in high school too. You also paid attention back then. It may have mattered to my head that you did it as an assignment. But, my heart was glad that someone noticed me and took me seriously." Kaname's eyes filled with tears. "Thank you. I shouldn't have been so hard on you Sousuke."

"You were hard on me Kaname?" Sousuke tentatively stroked Kaname's hair, keeping his hand still when she leaned her head against it. "That was nothing after Mithril training camp, or after the earlier time I had spent in the mujihadeen. Even their name roughly translates to 'The Strugglers.' You did not harm me much."

"That is _not_ the point, Sousuke!" Kaname spoke in a mock shout. "If I say I was hard on you, then I was. It was an apology. _Sheesh." _Kaname moved her head and kissed Sousuke's hand. "Big idiot!" After a few moments of silence, she got back to the business at hand. "Things got better when my parents brought me back from the police station. It must have been a big eye opener to them. My father no longer yelled much at my mother after that, and he never struck me again, even when he disciplined me."

Kaname continued flipping through the pages, pointing out special memories and describing how she felt at those times. For a while, her life had been very happy.

"This is me when I was nearly ten. My father's job required that he move to America." Kaname stared at that picture, thinking. "That was very hard on me. My speech had been corrected, and I had finally begun making friends. I didn't want to leave, not when things were finally looking up, for me."

Sousuke reached up and wiped away a tear from under Kaname's eye. He looked at it for a moment.

"I didn't want to leave Japan. I didn't want to learn a new language or culture." Kaname moved around some and looked up at Sousuke. "In a way, I can imagine what things must be like for you Sousuke, when they uproot you from one place and plant you in another."

"Yes. But, for me it is not as hard. Each of the places I go may not be as nice as the place before, but they are all a great deal better than the place that Mithril found me in." Sousuke still felt a great debt of gratitude to the organization. "Though, there have been places that I wished very much that I could stay at."

_He didn't need to give an example.  
_  
"I was so angry at my parents for dragging me to a place where I felt alone again. I grew rebellious for a while, but was too afraid to run away again. I hated the food. I couldn't understand the television shows. All of the sights and sounds seemed wrong at first. I couldn't go to school in the beginning, and had to be tutored in Japanese until I learned English…and I did not want to learn English." Kaname's face looked angry now, just thinking about the past.

"Yes, English _is_ a difficult language, but there are many others that are more difficult." Sousuke nodded his head.

"Oh really, Mister Know So Very Much. Just how many languages do _you_ speak, Sousuke?" Kaname was scowling, her lips pursed together.

"I was once fluent in Dari, and could understand some Pashto without being able to speak much. I am fairly well versed in English, as a disproportionate number of people in Mithril speak it, including my commanding officers. I also leaned a great many swear words from Sgt. Major Mao. I have a decent understanding of Russian. I know a few words in Khmer, Kurdish, and Spanish." Sousuke did not seem impressed with his own accomplishment. He had merely done what he had thought was necessary to be a good fighter, and then a good soldier.

"I see." Kaname's eyes narrowed for a moment. She shook it off, and a sly smile creased her face. "I'm very disappointed to hear that. A lot of my friends know English. Now I can't tell them any secrets when you're around. Well, I guess I still can in _Girl Language_..."

"Girls have a secret language?" Sousuke looked shocked. Girls would be the last people he would expect to be able to keep anything secret. "That _would_ explain a lot of things..."

The young soldier thought about what he knew of _nushu_, a single-sex writing system that Chinese scholars believe to be the only one of its kind. That exclusive language, with letters based on sound rather than ideas, may have developed as long ago as the third century.

Sounds rather than ideas? He would not mention that to Kaname.

The women in small areas of south central China had just wanted a way to express themselves. That was understandable. But, women _these_ days… and Kaname in particular… had an over-abundance of ways to express themselves...

Kaname giggled. "I was just kidding, Sousuke. You're cute when you're gullible."

Sousuke frowned. "Kaname, I'm _not_ cute, I'm---"

"A Specialist. I _know_, Sousuke!" Kaname couldn't help herself. She started laughing at the expression on Sousuke's face. Here she was discussing weighty matters, and she was laughing. She didn't know if that were a good or a bad thing.

"I can't wait to tell that one about the language to my friends. Melissa too, if I ever see her again."

Sousuke opened his mouth mutely. Kaname noticed, and stopped laughing. She tried to put on a straight face. "It's OK, Sergeant. I will not do anything that might damage the faith that your commanders have in you." She had spoken in a very serious voice, but began laughing again as soon as she finished.

Sousuke looked scandalized. He narrowed his eyes and smiled. "Sometimes your sense of humor eludes me, Kaname. It is not a problem. When I return to Da Danaan for my next routine update in systems and subroutines, I will ask Tessa to explain things to me. No doubt _she_ would be glad to assist me in any way necessary.

Kaname's face froze. Sousuke rubbed his hands together. He looked at Kaname. He did not smirk. He didn't need to.

"I will ask you to refrain from swearing in front of me, Sousuke. I'm a lady, after all." Kaname looked very serious.

"Kaname?" Sousuke didn't recall swearing.

"When you left Tokyo, 'Tessa' became a dirty word. I still haven't gotten over it. _Hmmppff!"_ Kaname smiled, hit Sousuke lightly in his uninjured shoulder, and then pointed back at her photo album. "It took me a while to adjust entirely. When I did, I picked up on a lot of the things that I had done before, finding different ways to do them in my new country. I ended up having more friends than before. I tried harder at sports, because I thought that my classmates would like me and accept me more that way. I also wanted to make my parents proud of me." Kaname looked up a moment, stared off into space, and then sighed.

"Kaname?"

"It was more than that. "I placed first in the Junior swimming contest in Chofu when I was eight. My parents made a big fuss over it, and wanted to see me excel in sports. I know now that they wanted me to find something to occupy myself, and to see just what I could become. To me...I guess... I thought my parents loved me more when I did well. It made me try harder. Because of that, I had a harder time understanding why they would take me away from my home."

"Did you win more competitions, Kaname? After you moved..." Sousuke would guess that she had. He began to see some of the reasons for Kaname's competitive nature. Also, he could see why she might have trouble getting too close to people. As a child, she must have always wondered when she would be forced to pick up and go.

_In Tokyo, it had been him who had picked up and gone... away from her.  
_  
"Yes, Sousuke. I placed second in a large track and field tournament in the States when I was almost twelve. I have been involved in athletics in some fashion ever since." Kaname looked at Sousuke's inquisitive look. "I'm a member of the College softball club." She smiled. "Want to join the team? If I remember correctly, you once tried to join our squad in high school."

"My apologies, Kaname. My love for the sport left me, when I was struck on the back of the head by a base thrown by a crazed girl." Sousuke kept a straight face. He rubbed the back of his head. "It _still_ hurts sometimes."

Kaname looked at Sousuke and squinted. "Well, I don't know who would do a thing like _that._ But, I must say it worked wonders. You got better and better after that. Look at you now. You owe that girl a lot of thanks." She fluffed her hair. "In fact, if you ever meet her again, you should give her anything she wants. _Immediately_. Any time she asks."

"I will do that," Sousuke said. He saw Kaname smile a big smile. "After she apologizes to me." He tried hard not to grin after seeing Kaname flinch.

"Well, don't get your hopes up. No girl with any shred of pride would apologize to an otaku." She turned her nose up. A few moments later she leaned over and whispered in Sousuke's ear. "Unless she cares about him very much. I'm sorry, Sousuke."

Sousuke looked at Kaname, and then nodded his head. "That's right, you did that to me as well. I almost forgot." He then untied one shoe and began tying it better.

"Someone _else_ ever do that to you Sousuke?" Kaname looked incredulous.

"Kaname, you are also cute when you are gullible." Sousuke looked back down at the photo album. He thought a moment. Was it alright for a Specialist and one time member of the SRT to use the word 'cute?' Yes, if it made the woman he cared about happy.

_It just wouldn't do to have it become a habit.  
_  
Kaname opened her mouth, but closed it again. It was nice that Sousuke had called her cute. She would encourage that under different circumstances. As for now, she was _not _about to yield another point to him.

"Things finally began going well for me again. I found that I had not only grown accustomed to America, but also had begun to love a lot of things about my new home." Kaname's face took on a sad look. She let out a long and shaky breath. She looked over at Sousuke. "Not too long after I won that last trophy..." Her voice died on her.

Sousuke could guess what Kaname wanted to talk about next. He knew that her mother had died of cancer. Very slowly, he reached out and pulled some hair away from the front of her face. He had lost a mother that he never got a chance to know too well, having only seen her through the eyes of a young boy. Kaname would have grown not only to love her mother, but also to see her as someone to model herself after and teach her the things needed to be a woman.

"I'm OK, Sousuke. _Really."_ Kaname moved Sousuke's hand. "My mother began having minor problems. Nothing that anyone would pay much attention to, because they could be caused by so many different things. Indigestion. A poor appetite. Constipation. Nausea. If only someone had seen reason to examine her then!" Kaname shook her head. "I... I know there was no reason to do extensive tests at that point... but I later became angry at the doctors, and at my mother for not knowing what was wrong with her. That would come back to haunt me after she die. I blamed my father too..." She bowed her head and went silent.

A small number of tears fell from her eyes, making dark spots on her dress.

"I understand, Kaname." Sousuke's eyes looked down as well. He was uncomfortable seeing Kaname looking that way. "Today, I would say that Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin is the closest thing I have to a father. But, for a while, I blamed _him_ for the death of my parents, because he was Russian." Sousuke ran his hand through his head. "I later learned that he had been censured by his superiors because he spoke out against atrocities. It was one of the reasons he eventually joined Mithril."

Kaname looked over at Sousuke. She had always thought he was so clueless, because he didn't understand the small things in daily life, and because his judgment in a civilized environment was questionable at best. But, he had insights that few other people might have, simply because he had been forced to deal with so many things at different points throughout his life.

"I said a lot of wrong things to him, Kaname. He turned out to be the one who fought hardest to bring me into the organization, and to add me to the training queue for the SRT." He rubbed at his eyes. "We all make mistakes towards those we care about, or for those who care about us."

Kname was grateful for those words. She knew they would make her feel better later. At that moment, however, they had her shaking. Her throat went dry. She could help herself, beginning to sob. "I'm so sorry, Sousuke. I... I was so hurt... I... I... wanted to hurt you too, when you left..." The confession spilled out of her like water rushing past a demolished dam. "It wasn't just to keep my own pain as small as possible."

Sousuke moved to console her.

"No. Don't touch me Sousuke. I don't deserve that. Not when I have something like that inside of me." Kaname put her face into one of the pillows on the couch, silencing her sobs. "I'm sorry."

Sousuke felt stricken. Kaname's secret did not hurt him. He had not been as kind to Melissa and Kurz as he could have been, when he was pulled back to Da Danaan. As part of Mithril, he had held them accountable to some degree as well. He was not proud of his actions. He stood up and walked out of the living room.

Kaname looked up from the pillow. Was he going to leave? Did he intend to abandon her for real this time? Maybe. Hadn't she earned that?

After a few minutes, Sousuke returned, a towel draped over his hand. He walked over in front of Kaname and looked down at her. His eyes were very intense, and his face was drawn.

"I am _very_ disappointed in you, Kaname Chidori." The sound of his voice was deep, and full of emotion. Kaname swallowed hard, bowing her head. "If you think you can shock me with such an admission, you are mistaken. If you think you are undeserving of happiness because you struck out at someone who hurt you, what does that say about _me._ You refused to speak to me, You refused to read my letters and to write me in return. That hurt; but, I recovered."

It was Sousuke turn to shiver some as a chill passed through him. Kaname looked up at him, scarcely believing his words. Why wasn't he condemning her?_  
_  
"People hurt me when I was younger, Kaname. When I was able, I took up arms and killed people just like them. They never recovered after _that._ They never had another chance have any emotions at all. I erased everything that those people might have gone on to be or do. They may have been soldiers fighting against the land I had learned to think of as home, but I doubt many if any were the actually one's who had orphaned me."

"Souske..." Kaname had stopped crying.

Sousuke's voice had gone completely flat. His face showed no sign of any emotion at all. He turned his eyes towards Kaname. Seeing her, he opened his mouth. His eyes softened some. "If you will not forgive yourself Kaname, does that mean that you will hate _me_ for the things that I have done in my life?"

"No... Sousuke... " Kaname shook her head vehemently. "No. Those men you killed... they were _bad_ men. You..."

"Kaname, they may not all have been bad men. They were soldiers doing their job." Sousuke walked closer to Kaname. "When I left Tokyo, so was I..." He shook his head, clenching his fists. "I was a soldier doing my job. I hurt you. I left you. You were depending on me to protect you, and I abandoned you. You worked hard to prepare me for school, but I left that too. Am I supposed to hate you because you felt pain and acted on it?"

Kaname sat stunned, her mouth open. She didn't know what to think. She didn't know what to say.

"You have shown me a lot of pictures tonight, Kaname. Allow me to show you the person I have grown to respect above most others. I would like to show you the face of the only person who has given me reason to think about tomorrow with any kind of real hope." He took away the towel he held. It had been covering a picture from her friends at graduation. "She is right here. I believe you will find her face familiar."

_He was pointing to Kaname's face._

Kaname sat wordlessly, her emotions swirling around her like a swarm of bees. She looked up at Sousuke through a haze of tears.

"I will give you some time alone," Sousuke said. "I will go hang this picture where it belongs. After that, I will go for a short walk to clear my head." He went to hang the picture. When he turned to head back, he saw Kaname in the hallway behind him. She was taking his coat off the wall rack. A moment later, she grabbed her own as well.

She looked over at him. He looked back, wondering what she was thinking of doing. Was she going somewhere as well? If so, the evening might be over.

"Sousuke..." Kaname's voice was very soft. "When we both go out for our time alone... can we walk _together?"_

Sousuke stared a moment, and then nodded his head. "Affirmative. You need protection after dark, Kaname. Who knows what kind of trouble you might get into? It will be professional courtesy. You need not feel any debt." He tilted his head some. "Unless you want to…"

"Oh. I see. Professional courtesy. Well, Sergeant Social, you seem to run into a bit of trouble on your own. Who knows what might happen if those girls were to corner you. We can't have that, _can_ we?" Kaname stood with her hands on her hips. At that moment, it was a good thing.

"No, we cannot. I will say however, I will do the better job of protecting." He felt the impulse to grin, but did not.

"Really? And what makes you think _that_, Mr. Flip a Girl In Her Own Kitchen?" Kaname shook her fist at Sousuke.

"I'm a Specialist. By definition, I will be better. My apologies." Sousuke did grin that time.

"Were a Specialist. Were. Specialists do _not_ use the word 'cute'. Ever." Kaname managed a smile, trumping Sousuke's grin.

"Ah. If that is indeed true, I shall not be able to protect you. There would be no reason to accompany you then. Please stay safe, Kaname." He walked towards the front door. Kaname stepped in front of him.

Sousuke gently picked Kaname up... turned around... and deposited her on her feet behind him. He then opened the door and stepped out into the chill evening air, his breath forming small clouds.

"You're really going without me, Sousuke?" Kaname stood looking at him, biting her lip.

"Only if you want to stay at home, Kaname." He held out his hand.

Kaname smiled, but soon furrowed her brow. "Sousuke! Don't be stupid. I'm not going the leave until I put my coat on!" When she was finished, she walked outside, locked her door, and then gave Sousuke a hug. "You shouldn't be this good to me, you know."

"Kaname?"

"I might not give you permission to leave me again." Kaname ran down the steps up to her apartment. "Well, why aren't you down here already?"

Sousuke broke out of his reverie. He wasn't about to tell her that her words had started him thinking about the future. Even he had no idea where such thoughts might lead. "I enjoyed watching you walk down the stairs, Kaname." That one ought to do well enough.

Kaname ran back up to him. He thought she was going to hug him or kiss him. Maybe even grab his hand and pull him down the stairs. He was wrong._  
_  
"OK, I'll do it again, then."

She did.

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The calmness of the weather had been deceptive.

With the storm seeming to have passed, neither Kaname nor Sousuke had thought about bringing an umbrella. Their thoughts had been understandably jumbled._  
_  
Both needed cleanse their palates in an emotional sense. A brisk walk helped, as did a stop in a small and secluded café. Sitting at a well worn table near a koi pool, Kaname ordered a spiced latte, while Sousuke asked for a glass of mineral water.

As the establishment's clientele smoked, drank, ate, lounged, and conversed, the world seemed to shrink in size for the pair of college students. As far as Kaname was concerned, Sousuke was the only other person existing at that moment. Sousuke was also affected by the mood. His vigilance was restricted to the ring of tables nearest to them, rather than the entire cafe and the street outside.

For her part, Kaname filled Sousuke in on the whereabouts and lives of their previous classmates. Sousuke gave Kaname the run down on the people that she knew in Mithril.

"Kurz and Melissa!" Kaname looked shocked after hearing one story.

"Yes. _Once_. It happened while the two of them were stranded in an abandoned cabin behind enemy lines. Things had looked bleak. They discovered a cache of alcoholic beverages." Sousuke shook his head. Kurz still crowed about that night from time to time, despite the fact that it always earns him a rather painful response from Melissa.

Kaname wrapped her hair around her finger absent-mindedly. "You never got stranded in a cabin with anyone, _did_ you Sousuke?" Kaname's mouth was asking one question, but her heart wanted to know the answer to another.

Sousuke nodded his head. "One time. In Cambodia. A young peasant girl helped to tend my wounds." Sousuke thought back, remembering a time where bad intelligence had come close to proving fatal for him. Members of the ousted Khmer Rouge had stayed in contact with one another, and had helped facilitate a plot by one of Mithril's shadowy rivals. "She looked somewhat like you did in high school."

Kaname started coughing after aspirating a small amount of her drink.

"Kaname, are you alright?" Sousuke pushed his chair back and began to stand.

"I… I..." (_Cough)._ "I'm..." (_Cough. Cough)_. "It's OK, Sousuke." Kaname fought to control irrational suspicions more than she struggled with speaking. Coughing a few more times, she chided herself over her reaction to anything that Sousuke might have done in the past.

Sousuke sat looking at Kaname a moment. Better able to read people and examine things in a social context, he had an idea of what had caused her reaction. "There was no intimacy between us, Kaname."

"Really?" (_Cough)._ "Well, it's none of my concern, anyway." (_Cough)._

Sousuke looked across the table at Kaname, noticing how the candle flame was mirrored in her eyes at certain angles. "I see." His inflection was subtle, but there was no doubt that he had seen through Kaname's response.

Kaname frowned for a moment. There were obviously certain drawbacks about a wiser and more observant Sousuke. She smiled. She would just have to persevere. It was a dirty job, but someone had to do it.

When the two of them had finished with their drinks and pleasant light-hearted conversation, each agreed that it was time to head back to Kaname's apartment. They hadn't walked very far before the sky opened up again. Fortunately, they were able to run under an awning outside of a darkened shop. Not too long after that, Sousuke decided to try flagging down a Taxi the conventional way.

Kaname asked him whether or not he minded her using her prior method, just for old time's sake. In answer, Sousuke pulled down on the awning, sending a stream of water splashing down at Kaname's feet, quickly soaking her shoes and stockings.

Smiling, Kaname tried to do the same thing to Sousuke, but only managed to drench herself from head to toe. "Don't you say a word! So help me God, if you do, I'll put _you_ in the hospital this time..." She couldn't help but laugh.

"It is not a problem, Kaname. It was nothing more than friendly fire." Sousuke expected that the otaku reference would spark Kaname. He was right._  
_  
"Oooh!" With all her might, Kaname pushed Sousuke out near a large puddle, just as a bus came thundering by. A huge sheet of water jumped upward and outward from the deep gutter.

With an exquisite move, Sousuke ducked down and slid, avoiding the water. Kaname, on the other hand, took the torrent full on. Before she knew it, she was standing there sputtering, water running off of her in small streams.

"At least that will help rinse out the detergent from your food stains, Kaname." A dry Sousuke was standing back under the awning.

Kaname fumed. Damn that Sousuke. He was still dry!Smiling, she slowly strode towards him, her shoes making an odd squishing noise with each step. "Sousuke. I'm cold. I need a _big-g-g-g _hug." She smiled when she saw his eyes widen. "And a long one, too." That would get him pretty wet himself.

Salvation came in the shape of a taxi cab. Kaname refrained from following up with her plan once they were inside the car. First, who knew what the driver might think. Second, Sousuke didn't have a spare set of clothes. She could change at home, but he couldn't.

While it might be fun to picture Sousuke wearing her robe… or that apron... while his clothes dried, she knew he would never go for that. He might simply go home and change. No, that's not what he would do. That stoic idiot would simply sit in her living room wet and uncomfortable.

Worse, he would make some otaku comment on how he had been in much worse situations on many occasions.

Ah well, sometimes, she was just going to have to let Sousuke have his victories._  
_  
He wasn't due another one for at least a month

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

When they both made it to Kaname's apartment, the couch was still there waiting for them.

While Sousuke leafed through the photo albums, Kaname went and changed into something dry and casual. After she sat back down next to him, she took up her tale where she had left off.

"When my mother began vomiting frequently, she went to see a doctor. They ran a number of tests and found blood in her stool. That led to a more directed examination. To make a long story short, they found that she had stomach cancer. That was devastating to all of us, as you can imagine. It was just one more thing that had me believing that fate was against me." Kaname pointed to one picture.

"She was very brave, Sousuke. See that smile? This picture was taken not to long after we received the bad news." Kaname teared up.

"You take after your mother, then." Sousuke placed his hand on Kaname's.

"Thank you, Sousuke." Kaname turned the page. "I promised my parents that I would be good. I swore to the heavens that I would do whatever they wanted me to do, if only my mother would get better. I ran harder. I spent more time doing my schoolwork. I tried to help Ayame understand, and had her help me do chores to make things easier for my mother."

Sousuke listened attentively. He realized something about having a family. It gave you people to love. It also gave you people to mourn. It came down to a matter of degree and good fortune.

"It was a terrible time." Kaname hung her head. "Cancer of the stomach is rare in the United States, but is not so uncommon Japan. But, it was unusual in someone my mother's age. I was in the room when the doctor discussed things with my parents. Hearing the facts gave me one more reason to be angry at the world." She looked over at Sousuke to see if he understood the point she was trying to make.

Sousuke nodded his head.

"There was more to make me angry. That kind of tumor was two times more frequent in men than women. Obviously she was not a man. There were a number of common risk factors. She had none of them. I later learned that a diet high in fruits and vegetables could reduce the risk of someone getting the disease. She ate plenty of both." Kaname slammed her hand down on the book.

Sousuke refrained from offering Kaname comfort. She knew that he was there. They both now knew that he cared for her. This was something she needed to work through again.

"She was scheduled for surgery. I was scared that she was going to die from her operation, Sousuke. I almost ran away again. I should have stayed out of the room when she went back to see her doctor, after the pathology report was ready. The things that might make her prognosis very bad... if they were not terrible enough... were not found in her specimen." Kaname looked over at Sousuke.

"You took unrealistic hope from that?" Sousuke asked.

"Yes. I also believed that the radiation therapy and chemotherapy could be cures for gastric cancer. They aren't. They simply serve to relieve the symptoms and slow the progression of disease. The treatments caused my mother more discomfort than the tumor originally had." Kaname shook her head, trying to stop from seeing a particularly painful memory.

"Your trust in other people suffered. Because it seemed that they failed, so you eventually came to rely only on yourself alone." Sousuke could say the same thing about himself.

Kaname nodded, before continuing. "I watched her slowly deteriorate, Sousuke. It hurt me terribly. I couldn't understand why such a good and wonderful person had to suffer like that. I asked myself why someone should bother behaving right and working hard, if they could be punished when they had done nothing wrong."

"I see," Sousuke said. "My parents were in Afghanistan doing charitable work. As much as I can recall, they were well thought of by the people of Kabul. I believe I had similar questions as a child, when they died without doing anything wrong."

Kaname looked at Sousuke for a moment, blinked repeatedly, and then resumed talking. "My father was probably struck harder than anyone, with the exception of my mother. In retrospect, I realize just how brave he had been, and how hard he tried to keep things as normal as possible for Ayame and me." Kaname bowed her head. She looked at a picture of her father holding her mother. "I grew very angry at him, though. Maybe I thought that coming to America gave my mother cancer. I may have bristled at his insistence that my sister and I had allow our mother sufficient time to rest. I would later come to think that he had robbed me of what few moments I had left with my mother."

Sousuke felt very uncomfortable, seeing someone bear her soul this way. But, he realized it was important. It would provide him with an explanation for why Kaname acted the way that she did. More importantly, it would help Kaname find peace.

"Are you still angry at your father today, Kaname?" Sousuke hoped that Kaname had a strong relationship with her family.

"No, Sousuke. I love my father very much. I do have trouble with authority figures from time to time. And, I once had trouble accepting someone who was assigned to protect me." She gave Sousuke a poignant look. She was quiet for a few moments after that, just leafing through the album and thinking of some of the pleasant memories she had.

In time, she looked up at Sousuke and began again. "Because my mother did not want to die in a foreign land... and because of the timing of school Japan… we moved back home in time for me to enroll in Junior High. The lateness of my application meant that I had to settle for one of the less esteemed schools. That was a minor thing to me. I had grown to love the nation that I had once dreaded. I left a lot of friends behind me… bagain. My mother had entered her terminal stages. It was horrible." Kaname's face was pale.

She couldn't help but see an image of her mother, so tired and frail looking. Why did she have to remember that? Why?

"She died three months after I started school. We were all terribly devastated. I can't describe what I felt at the time. I know that I came to be angry at my mother for leaving us. I know it doesn't make any sense, but I blamed her for abandoning me." Kaname's eyes welled with tears again. "I began wondering when my father and Ayame were going to leave me too. I didn't want to care about anyone ever again. Not family. Not friends. No one."

Sousuke found himself feeling numb. He couldn't imagine how she could have felt, despite having lived through his own unique series of hardships.

"I was unhappy at home, Sousuke. But, that was nothing compared to how I felt at school. I hated that place, the moment that I stepped into it. No, I hated it before my father had even driven me to my first day. It wasn't my previous school. My latest group of friends were not there. The attitudes and behavior of the students was so different than that of the American children. The teachers were more demanding and more strict. Even at that age, everyone was talking about their grades and the future. It was too much."

Kaname let out an exasperated sigh. Years later, she could still feel what she had felt at that time. "I brought a lot of trouble on myself, even before my mother died. A month before her death, I was given three days house detention for doing malicious damage to school property. I broke things. I had gotten so angry, that I threw things all across my classroom. I wrote angry things on the walls with markers. I ripped things up and tore things down." Kaname's hands clenched. She was embarrassed now for what she had done then. "I did worse things later, but the authorities were lenient after my mother passed away."

"You were frustrated. You felt like you had no control over things. You felt alienated... alone... unwanted." Sousuke remembered his first days in the mujahideen camps. He had been thrown to live with the dogs. Until he proved his worth, the only ones who showed him the slightest bit of kindness were the camp followers.

Kaname nodded.

Sousuke couched his next words carefully. Captain Testarossa had once told him about something that Kaname had told her when they were both being held prisoner by A21. "You wanted to kill yourself."

Kaname was shocked. How had Sousuke known that? Was he guessing? Had he felt the same way himself at some time? "Yes. Later. How did you_..."  
_  
Sousuke looked at Kaname for a moment without speaking "You told that to someone once. I did not know whether or not it was merely an exaggeration. I shall not mention the name, as it is not one that you would wish to hear."

"Oh." Kaname frowned momentarily. "I did tell her, didn't I?" Kaname thought back to the holding cell that she and Tessa had shared. For a moment, her eyes brightened, even though her face looked pained. "I also remembering her saying something you couldn't hear, because she had ordered you to shut off Arbalest's external sensors."

Sousuke heard a subtle change of inflection in Kaname's voice.

"Let me see. How did it go? Ah yes, she said that she thought that she might be falling in love with a certain sergeant." Kaname watched Sousuke's face. If she wasn't feeling so solemn at the moment, she might have pulled a muscle laughing.

"The Captain..." Sousuke was well aware that Tessa had been chasing after him. But, hearing things put in those terms unnerved him.

"She also implied that the two of us were competing for that sergeant. Do you think we should tell her who won?" Kaname still had her mischievous side in working order.

"Uhhh... you do not wish to be a poor sport, do you Kaname?" Sousuke was actually perspiring.

Kaname's look told Sousuke precisely what she wished to do. She managed a grin. Teasing Sousuke had lifted her spirits some. With him by her side, she had been able to speak about her past without retreating back inside her shell. The irony had her smiling. He was probably the most withdrawn person that she had ever met.

_At least he used to be.  
_  
Kaname felt some more of the weight lift away from her. For some reason, it felt easier for her to continue. "There were times when I wished that I could die, Sousuke. The students at the school treated me terribly. My life was miserable enough as it was, but that made it far worse. At the time, I felt picked on and ostracized. I realize now that my own behavior probably contributed to a lot of it." Kaname sighed, thinking about just how much additional pain she had caused herself. "I grew stronger though, in a way. After a while, I began smiling and having a good time again, despite the way that I felt. In its own way, that ended up being a problem."

"Kaname?" Sousuke couldn't fathom how being stronger was deleterious.

"My father's career called for him to return to the States. He must have debated a long time with himself, deciding what to do about me. There was no question about Ayame. She had to go back with him. I was a great big question mark. If he knew how I was truly feeling, he never would have enrolled me in a Japanese high school."

"You appeared stronger than you actually felt?" Sousuke showed once again that he was not as clueless as he might appear.

"Yes. My father felt that it would be important for me to finally find a place I could call home. He expected that I would want to attend a Japanese university some day, and believed that going to a Japanese high school would best prepare me for the examinations." Kaname turned to a page showing her farther and Ayame. They were waving as they walked through the airport. "Their leaving wasn't easy for me either." She had broken down and cried when their plane had taken off.

"But you did very well at Jindai. You were well respected and had many friends." Sousuke was impressed by the things that Kaname had accomplished, having heard her history.

"Yes, Sousuke. It was a fresh start. I had learned to deal with my sorrows, but was still sad at first. Even though I understood my father's reasoning, and agreed with it myself, I still felt as if he had abandoned me. It's silly, I know, but that's how I felt." Kaname closed the album. "Making friends sort of made up for all that. I found ways to prove things to myself. Being an over-achiever, and getting noticed for it, somehow made me feel better about my life." She looked over at Sousuke. "At least until some scraggly looking boy showed up at school with a gun in his bookcase..."

"Uhhh..."

"You know what happened after that." Kaname stood up and stretched. She felt relieved, simply because she had finished doing something she had been dreading. It hadn't been a comfortable thing to do, but she was done. Hopefully Sousuke could now begin to understand some of the reasons behind her treatment of him when he left Tokyo.

It should also help him understand why she treated him the way that she did, when he initially showed up at Jindai High School.

"I hope that explained a few things, Sousuke." Kaname knew that there was a lot more she could talk to Sousuke about. But, she was too emotionally spent to spell out why she felt a need for order in her life, why she had needed stability, and why surprises were not her favorite things

Hopefully, there would be other times when they could sit together like this. She would explain why she had a need to be in control of things. She could also describe how it felt to be viewed as an idol, and how no boy had any interest in her in a meaningful way, until a certain clueless misfit appeared on the scene.

"Affirmative." Sousuke nodded his head, a thoughtful expression on his face. "It certainly does explain a lot of things, Kaname."

"So… would you still want a woman with that much baggage as a girlfriend?" Kaname spoke in a flippant manner, but her posture gave away how she was truly feeling.

"Yes," Sousuke said, taking a moment to answer so that Kaname would not think that he was merely making a rote response. "If anything, I believe it leaves me feeling more impressed with you than before." He watched her eyes grow watery. "It took a very strong person to survive all that. It takes a very special person to face so much adversity and still be able to care about others."

Kaname reached out and caressed Sousuke's arm softly, a smile forming on her face.

A thought struck Sousuke. He swallowed hard. He remembered something that Kurz had once exclaimed in his presence, looking at Sgt. Major Maoas she carried her gear towards an awaiting helicopter. That had earned his friend a boot to the groin. He doubted that Kaname would act similarly in the current context. "It is very attractive baggage that you are carrying." He looked Kaname up and down, feeling a bit self-conscious in the process.

"What? Huh? Oh!_"_ Kaname pinched Sousuke's arm. "Baggage, is it? Well let me tell you something Mr. Complimentary." She tossed her hair, and then lifted her nose up. "I don't care if we go away together on a trip some day or not. You'll be the last person handling _my _baggage..." Kaname's mood continued to lift. She was up for a challenge.

Sousuke blushed briefly, but was not incapacitated or concerned. He shrugged. "It is not a problem." That ought to do it.

"What?"

"As I understand it, all girls come with _some_ baggage." Sousuke was growing more comfortable with innuendo and inferences. His fellow SRT members would probably be shocked. They never would have expected his double play on that word.

Kaname narrowed her eyes and began tapping her fingers against her thigh. She certainly wasn't too pleased with the idea of Sousuke becoming too observant regarding other girl's 'baggage'. He was joking of course, making a different play on the same word. But, that wouldn't save him. Just the same, she found herself too emotionally drained to think of a suitable comeback right then.

"I'm going to have to ask you for a rain check, Sousuke." She gave him a very reasonable look.

"Kaname?" Sousuke looked perplexed.

"A rain check, Sousuke. _Sheesh._ I guess that's what happens when you have to cheat your way into college. _Hmmppff!"_ Kaname smiled, enjoying the sour expression on Sousuke's face. "A rain check was a ticket for future use, issued to spectators at an outdoor event that had been postponed or interrupted by rain. In this case, you can consider it a voucher entitling you to receive at a later date... for the same price... a special service that is temporarily out of stock."

Sousuke still looked befuddled.

"I'm too exhausted to put you in your place in the manner you deserve. We'll save that for another day, OK?" Kaname smiled, showing all of her teeth.

As Sousuke opened his mouth to answer, a huge clap of thunder followed almost immediately on the heels of a tremendous flash of lightning. As the couch was situated directly beneath a window, and the blinds were open, the natural occurrence mimicked an explosion.

The young soldier's instinctual reactions took over. In one fluid motion, he pushed Kaname over and covered her with his body. He looked around to take stock of the situation. "I apologize. It was only thunder and lightning."

Catching her breath, a surprised Kaname realized what must have happened. Big otakuidiot! But, the situation had certain advantages. "Uh huh. Nice try, soldier. No doubt you were looking for an excuse to put me in my place." Kaname grinned.

"Kaname… I…"

"This is my place, Sousuke..." She wrapped her arms around his neck.

"But... I... uh..."

"Aren't you going to kiss me now?" Kaname gave Sousuke a sly and sultry look, readjusting her position slightly to something more comfortable.

Sousuke stared down at Kaname, his heart pounding. The urge to kiss her was near uncontrollable. Still, he wanted to do it on his own terms. "Can I ask for another rain check, Kaname?" That would suffice. He hoped that she wouldn't change her mind.

Kaname smiled. "No." She pulled him down to her.


	15. Chapter 15

The air was crisp and invigorating.

Taking a deep breath and holding it , Kaname was certain that the air must be better than ever before.

Sunlight poured through a great opening in the grey and blanketing clouds, like a celestial stairway to a better world. Kaname smiled, knowing that she had found her own ray of light in what had been a dreary and routine life. Even the sounds of the world around her had a sharper and more exciting character.

Looking down at the pair of boxes that she carried, she had no doubt that the bento lunches she had prepared would taste wonderful.

_As long as Sousuke was there by the fountain with her._

It was getting close to lunchtime. She had run back to her building to get their meals. Sousuke should be finishing with his classes, and would meet her at the spot they had agreed upon when the lecture ended. Without realizing what she had been doing, she had been walking faster and faster, flushed with anticipation. She had to stop a moment to catch her breath, wondering why her calf muscles were sore.

Standing near a vine-covered wall, she thought back over her day. Her shower that morning had been long and luxurious. Her low blood pressure was not the reason for its lengthy duration this time. She had lathered up numerous times, reliving the choice moments from the night before. At one point she had been startled to realize that she had been standing there for a good while, thinking about her first kiss with Souske, without ever turning the water on.

Yes, it had been quite a kiss. She had felt as if she were in control, pulling Sousuke to her, before losing herself in the moment. Even so, it was her, not that no good otaku, who had been the first one to come up for air. The kiss had been a quick summary of everything that Sousuke was. At first tender and patient, it had grown fierce and unyielding when the moment called for it.

_And most miraculous of all, it had been more about giving than taking._

Kaname smiled, thinking about that last point. For someone so strong, and bereft of love in his formative years, Sousuke was surprising. He had been more concerned about Kaname's needs and feelings than his own.

She had once worried that he did not have feelings and emotions. There was no doubt that he did. And, there was no doubt that he had needs, just like she did. They were there. She could sense them. But they were tightly reined in.

"You have to be selfish sometimes, you big idiot. I like giving too."

Kaname might need to take things into her own hands when it came to Sousuke. She wanted a partner, not a guardian or a servant. As much as she had been craving acceptance throughout her life, Kaname wanted more than Sousuke's adoration and admiration. She wanted to take risks in their relationship, trying to reach the highest heights they could, without worrying about how far she might fall. 

"There is such a thing as being too safe."

At one point during their kissing, Sousuke's embrace had grown so strong that it had become painful. When he realized that, he pulled away and was afraid to hold her again until she scolded him. She had used some choice language, shocking them both.

"Moron!"

Kaname sighed, and then smiled again. Sousuke was going to be a project, alright. But, anything good was worth working hard for, wasn't it? Especially when it's the one thing you want above all else. _  
_  
When she had reached the bottom of her stairs earlier that morning, ready to head off for her first morning class, she found Sousuke there waiting for her. It was a rather pleasant surprise, as she had expected to see him on campus. He had walked out of his way just to see her.

_That had made her very happy_.

He had been holding a single bedraggled flower behind his back. The sight of it caused her to laugh at first. Seeing the hurt look in his eyes, she had told him that it was the thought that counts, not how beautiful the flower was.

After that, he had walked her to her classroom, and then proceeded to make certain that her seat and writing table were sturdy, properly aligned, and in good working order. When he gave her a brief report of its status, she had shocked her teacher and classmates by giving him a kiss right there and then. She knew that she shouldn't encourage any otaku behavior at all, but she just couldn't help herself.

Too bad those other annoying girls weren't in that class. But, that was OK. She had plenty of kisses to spare. An opportunity would present itself.

Sousuke was very fortunate to have such an affectionate girlfriend.

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Sousuke sat in class, trying his best to pay attention.

He had five reasons to be distracted. Two of them sat in the seats to the left of him. Two of them sat in seats to the right. The one he wished he _could_ see sat in a different classroom altogether.

Running his hand though his hair, he sighed. He had already gotten up and changed his seat three times. Each time, the girls followed him. The third time, a girl who hadn't noticed him earlier joined the procession. He knew he should just come out and tell them that he was interested in Kaname, but he couldn't bring himself to hurt their feelings.

_The lecture topic certainly did not help his state of mind._

The class was in the middle of a lecture series on the Ottoman Empire. They had touched on basic history; campaigns and the army; and Art & Culture. Today's topic was '_TheHarem and Ottoman Women'. _Normally, that would have been a fascinating topic. In the Ottoman society, the harem was actually the locus of power, not the lascivious sexual playground that was most often conceived by Western minds. Royal women were custodians of sovereign power, training their sons in its use and excersing it directly as regents when necessary.

"Sousuke, don't you wish _you_ had a harem?" One of the girls was staring at him with big brown eyes. Sousuke didn't dare glance in her direction, given the cut of her blouse.

"I think he already _has_ one, don't you girls?" Another girl chuckled.

Sousuke couldn't understand why they would think such a thing when he gave them no encouragement whatsoever. Gritting his teeth, he focused on the screen at the front of the room, looking at artwork from across the centuries, each masterpiece depicting some aspect of harem life. The professors voice droned on:

_"The harem was defined to be the women's quarter in a Muslim household. The Imperial harem... sometimes referred to as the Seraglio harem... contained the combined households of the Valide Sultan or Queen Mother... the Sultan's favourites the hasekis... and the rest of his concubines... the women whose main function was to entertain the Sultan in the bedchamber."  
_**  
**One of the girls made a rather bawdy suggestion after hearing that. At first it had Sousuke blushing. Soon, however, he began sweating. Not because of the girl, but because his thoughts had turned to Kaname.

His imagine began to wander. No. He had no business wondering about certain things. At least not in class.

_"The harem also contained all the households of the Sultanas, the daughters of the Sultan. Many of the harem women would never see the Sultan and became the servants necessary for the daily functioning of the harem. The reasons for harem existence can be seen from Ottoman cultural history. Ottoman tradition relied on slave concubinage along with legal marriage for reproduction. Slave concubines, unlike wives, had no recognized lineage. Wives were feared to have vested interests in their own family's affairs, which would interfere with their loyalty to their husband, hence, concubines were preferred, if one could afford them. This led to the evolution of slave concubinage as an equal form of reproduction that did not carry the risks of marriage, mainly that of the potential betrayal of a wife."**  
**_  
"I bet he could afford a lot of concubines," one girl said to the others. There was no doubt who 'he' was.

Sousuke just closed his eyes and shook his head. When he thought about Kaname this time, he pictured what she might have done if she saw him sitting amongst the girls while someone spoke about slave concubines. There might be four new admissions to University Hospital. Or, one order for a pine box.

_"All slaves that entered the harem were termed odalisques or "women of the court,' the general servants in the harem. Odalisques were not usually presented to the Sultan. Those that were of extraordinary beauty and talent, were seen as potential concubines, and trained accordingly. They learned to dance, recite poetry, play musical instruments, and master the erotic arts. Only the most gifted odalisques were presented to the Sultan as his personal maids-in-waiting."_

"I like dancing, Sousuke. How about you? You're probably a _great_ dancer..." One of the girls sighed, causing the other three to laugh at her.

"I'm pretty good at art." Another girl said. She dropped her book when her friend told her what word she had left out.

Sousuke cursed his new mature existence and the much stricter rules at college. He could not get away with a flash bang or smoke bomb, and there would be no way to justify using a taser on a group of chatterboxes. Things had been so much simpler in high school. Youth is wasted on the young.

_"Kadin's were the Sultan's favourite women. Tradition allowed only four principal_ Kadins_ but unlimited number of _concubinesKadins_ were equivalent in rank to that of a legal wife, and were given apartments, slaves, and eunuchs."_

Sousuke sat uneasily in his seat. He had started off thinking about Kaname as his favourite woman. But, before he knew it, he was wondering what it would be like to have four beautiful women around. Would there be four times the pleasure, or four times the worry? Looking at the four girls flanking him, he swallowed hard.

_If Kaname could actually read minds, Sosusuke might very well end up a eunuch_.

It didn't help that those girls were each very attractive, or that they were in the habit of wearing very nice perfume. Nevertheless, Sousuke's thoughts always returned to Kaname of their own accord.

Closing his eyes, he ran through the events of the prior evening. There had been some very emotional moments. There had also been a lot of playful moments. There had been moments when he had begun to feel things he had never felt before.

He opened his eyes again. There had also been moments where his desires had threatened to take on a life of their own. During those moments when his body had begun thinking for him, he had found himself frightened and confused, but also excited and intrigued.

Kaname was no longer his assignment. There were no moral and ethical reasons to contain his feelings for her. He knew what he wanted to do. He wished he knew what he should do. Were the two things one in the same?_  
_  
_"_Concubines_ could be considered an equivalent to the modern version of a "one night stand". They were _odalisques_ that were presented to the Sultan and after that one night, they might never see the Sultan again unless the girl became pregnant with a male child. If she was successful in birthing a male child, then she would become an_ ikbal_... a favourite... to the Sultan. The female hierarchy followed the pattern of_ odalisques_, or virgins... _concubines_, or "one night stands"... _ikbals_, or favorites... and _kadins_, the favourite 'wives'_."

The word 'virgin' had Sousuke's face burning. Unlike other males his age, Sousuke was not embarrassed by his lack of experience or expertise. Just the same, the thought of sexual relations had him feeling nervous and afraid.

Why? A Specialist had no business fearing anything. Right? Wrong! A good soldier did not let his fear control him.

"Well, I guess that makes me the kadin," one of the girls had said too loudly for Sousuke's liking. "And you the ikbal." She pointed to another girl. "You can be the one night stand; that's not so bad." The third girl blushed, but still looked over at Sousuke. "And we allknow that _you're_ the virgin..."

That last remark had been directed at the fourth girl, but had Sousuke checked to see if she was looking at him. If Kurz was here, he would be laughing up a storm. If Melissa were here, she'd be asking him which of the four types of harem girls he would prefer. If Tessa were here, she might be looking for a harem costume.

"_According to Muslim tradition, no man could lay his eyes on another man's harem, thus someone less than a man was required for the role of watchful guardianship over the harem women. Eunuchs tended to be male prisoners of war or slaves, castrated before puberty and condemned to a life of servitude. White eunuchs were first provided from the conquered Christian areas of Circassia, Georgia, and Armenia. They were also culled from Hungarian, Slavonian, and German prisoners of war. These white eunuchs were captured during the conflicts that arouse between the Ottoman Empire and the Balkan countries. Black eunuchs were captured from Egypt, Abyssinia and the Sudan. Black slaves were captured from the upper Nile and transported to markets on the Mediterranean Sea---Mecca, Medina, Beirut, Izmir and Istanbul. All eunuchs were castrated enroute to the markets by Egyptian Christians or Jews, as Islam prohibited the practice of castration but not the usage of castrated slaves."_

Some of Sousuke's fellow soldiers had remarked about his seeming lack of interest in women. A number had jokingly referred to him as a eunuch, while others had used less complimentary or derogative terms. He had not been offended, because in the ways that mattered to him, they were less of a man than he was.

Although he had been sheltered by prostitutes early in his ophanhood, Sousuke saw women as something more than objects to be lusted after. Because he had been beaten anytime he was found around any of the young girls in the mujahideen camp, he had come to view them as something forbidden and unattainable.

He also had a strong urge to protect women. Did that come from his inability to save his mother and sister? He did not know. In any case, he did not suffer from a lack of interest, despite everything that he had been through. . Laying on the couch with Kaname late last night, he had learned that if nothing else.

There were things that were more important than his own selfish desires.Was that why part of him still wanted to keep some distance between himself and the only woman who had touched his heart? For her benefit?

"_There were several different varieties of eunuchs. For the Sandali, or clean-shaven, the parts were swept off by a single cut of a razor. After that, a tin or wooden tube was set in the urethra... the wound was cauterized with boiling oil... and the patient was planted in a fresh dung-hill. His diet was milk, and if under puberty, he often survived. This was considered less barbaric than the methods used by other cultures, who chose to knot a thin cord tightly around the genitals... amputate the organs with a sharp razor... cauterize the wound with a red hot poker or molten tar... deprive the individual of water for several days to prevent urination and infection... And then force him to drink enormous amounts of water so that the pressure would puncture a hole in the scar tissue."_

A concerted groan grew in volume as the male half of the classroom pictured the procedures all too vividly. Sousuke respected his teacher's level of erudition, but wasn't that a little more knowledge than was necessary?

He looked at his watch. Class would be over before too long. He smiled, anticipating another chance to see Kaname.

"_The excessive interference of the harem women in state politics was instrumental in the decline and fall of the Ottoman empire. Ironically , such meddling began during the reign of_ Suleyman the Magnificent_, the most powerful period in the empire's history. After his death, the sultans no longer led their armies in campaign or in battle, retiring instead to the womb of the harem. They detached themselves from world affairs and spent most of their time in the company of women. This royal seclusion greatly diminished their ability to govern, and in varying degrees, sultanas began wielding influence over state officials, with bribery and patronage supplanting promotion on the basis of merit. A succession of child sultans and mentally deranged ones after_ Mehmed III's_ death in 1603 made women the power behind the throne."_

Sousuke sat straighter up for a moment. Was he worried that sharing a new and very personal relationship with Kaname might emasculate him just the way that castration might? Might he be concerned that such intimacy might seduce him away from where his duty and obligation lay?

Maybe. Those were possibilities that deserved some thought. He sighed. Relationships with women were complicated. It was simpler to field strip an Arm Slave... jury-rig an alternate hydraulic system... or bypass a faulty subsystem in the control panel!

_"During one of his debauches, the mad Sultan_ lbrahim_ ordered all of his women seized during the night, stuffed in sacks, and thrown into the Bosphorus. One was saved by French sailors and taken to Paris, where she must have had some stories to tell."_

Sousuke grinned, graced with a particularly wicked thought. Those bothersome girls had come close to driving him to complete distraction. He could picture them all wrapped in burlap, ready for their big splash.

He would have to tell that one to Kaname.

It might earn him a kiss.

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Kaname stopped.

She watched as the strong breeze lofted the yellow ginko leaves hither and yon, much like a great cluster of amber and lemon butterflies.

As she resumed her stroll along the tree-lined walkway, the tranquil environment moment was broken by groups of students leaving various buildings, all intent on enjoying their lunch break or heading for their next class. She smiled, watching couples walk hand in hand, or stop beneath the rustling trees to share a quiet word, a smile, or a tender touch.

_How many times had she watched just such a scene, and felt lonely and unwanted?_

It hadn't mattered how many guys asked her out or scurried to seek her attention. They had all been after something they saw or something they wanted. None had been interested in who she truly was. All of their flowery words were worthless compared to a simple smile or glance from Sousuke. No score of caresses could do what a simple concerned touch of his hand had done. Nothing filled had ever her with hope and yearning the way that their first kiss had.

Still, when Sousuke was out of her sight, she couldn't help but wonder how many days she had left before he was gone for good. In the past, that thought would have caused her to be sad and to pull away from him. Not any longer. In their quiet time together, she had asked him if it was foolish for her to care for him again. He had said that it was for her to decide. But, for himself, he would enjoy her... breath by breath... heartbeat to heartbeat... a miracle in everything she said and did.

"Big idiot," She whispered. She had teased him, saying he should be a poet instead of a soldier. In turn, he told her that a number of samurai had been poets.

_A miracle in everything she said and did_?

Kaname wiped away a tear. Now was not the time to get all emotional. They were going to be able to spend some time together. If she had asked herself a month ago whether she believed that she would see Sosuske again... forgive him and be forgiven... and begin to fall in love... she would have said _that_ was a miracle.

Nearing Sousuke's building, she thought she caught sight of him. She couldn't be certain, because he was surrounded by other students. No. Not just other students. It was those girls!

Anger flared up inside of her. Her warm feelings had been about to crescendo, just in time to meet with Sousuke. Instead, she felt as if she had been doused with a bucket of ice cold water.

Why were those hussies still hanging all over Sousuke? Hadn't they realized that he was hers? Couldn't he have simply brushed them away like so many flies? He didn't want their attention, did he? No. That wouldn't make any sense. Not after the time they had shared together last night!

_Unless he was more like other guys than she had realized._

Moving quickly, she positioned herself behind the trunk of an old and stately elm. She could no longer see Sousuke and those harpies, but she could hear them. For a moment, she hesitated, before convincing herself that her actions had nothing to do with jealousy. It was merely observation. If Sousuke was having trouble finding a way to quench their ardor, she might be able to reason out some answers for him.

Yes. That made perfect sense.

"I liked the part where the teacher noted that the Ottoman Sultans had four or five wives at any one time." One girl sounded rather excited. "By the way, I have a pair of movie tickets for tonight..."

Hearing that, Kaname grimaced. What had their class been about? She would have Sousuke go over it in pain-staking detail with her later. There was no way that he was going to accept that offer to go to the movies.

She hadn't made plans with him for the night, but...

"Sousuke, you should have liked the fact that the Sultans who took the Fifth _Kadýnefendi_ as wife were not exceeding the limit of four that was stipulated by Islam. A majority of the 'wives' were slave-concubines with whom no marriage contract had been concluded, and the restriction to four wives refered to women with whom the contract was concluded." The second unseen girl sounded like she was trying to build a logical argument for something.

"That's right! You could let that blue-haired girl think she has a contract on you, but still keep as many slave concubines as you like. How many guys get a better offer than _that?"_ The third girl was congratulated by the others after making an excellent suggestion.

Kaname began fuming. Sousuke still hadn't said a word. Knowing him, he was just ignoring those tramps. Still, he should have spoken up and put a stop to all that nonsense.

Was he starved for attention? Couldn't he get enough attention from her? Big idiot! She peaked around the tree.

There was some hushed talking and a bit of wicked laughter, prompting the fourth girl to speak up. "B-But the gross misrepresentations of what the female slaves did in the apartments known as the Harem... y-you know, bathing naked and taking part in orgies...that's a complete fabrication."

The others girls laughed even louder. "I have nothing against fabrications! Do _you,_ Sousuke?" One girl had stepped in front of Sousuke, forcing him to come to a stop. "By the way... last week... I bought some new lingerie. I've been dying to try it on..."

"Uhhh..."

That simple utterance acted like a drop of blood falling into the water near a group of circling sharks. All of the girls were soon asking what Sousuke would have them try on, everything from classy dresses to leather and chains.

Kaname heard the sound of a snapping stick behind her, just as she had begun to growl deep in her throat. Turning, she saw her friend Aki standing there, a bemused look on her face. "Hi Kaname. What are you up to? _Spying?"_

"Aki..." Kaname was torn. She couldn't speak to her friend and listen to those girls at the same time. If she tried to listen in any more, Aki would know that she had been correct in her guess. But, if she didn't, she might miss something important. "No. Of course not. Why would I be spying?"

Aki stepped around the tree and watched Sousuek and the harem walk by. "Oh, no reason I guess." She looked at the boxes dangling from their knotted cord. "Headed to lunch with Sousuke?" Aki had received a phone call from Kaname, just before her friend had been about to go to bed. Sousuke had featured prominently in their conversation.

"Yes." Kaname could say that much comfortably.

"Bring enough for six?" Aki tried not to laugh. Kaname had a tendency to take jokes personally now and then.

Kaname just stared, her mouth hanging open.

"It probably doesn't matter. It looks like they have already chosen something off of their own menu." Aki couldn't help but grin.

"**_AKI!_**" Kaname bit her lip, hoping that Sousuke hadn't heard her. She should be at the fountain, not hiding behind some tree. Under her breath, she groused. "That item is _off _of the menu..."

"It's OK, girl. Hurry and catch up with them. I'll talk with you later. You can give me all of the choice details." Aki gave Kaname a big smile and headed on her way.

After her friend had left, Kaname started walking slowly. She was _not _in a hurry. Then again, she didn't want all of the choice seats near the fountain to be taken. She needed to be pragmatic!

Slipping through the crowd, trying to maintain speed and stealth, she used a group of graduate students as a screen. She quickly caught up with Sousuke and the girls, able to hear what they were saying without being seen.

"So Sousuke, you haven't said much this afternoon. It's time to fess up. Who do you _really_ want to go out with? Somebody like that aggressive girl, or someone more refined like one of us?"

As the migrating herd of graduate students veered towards the library, Kaname gained a good view of the miniature soap opera. She saw one girl sit down by the fountain and pat the concrete next to her. Holding her breath, she waited for Sousuke's answer. She knew what his response _had_ to be. Would that mobbed military moron seize hold of the golden opportunity he was just given?

"Kaname is my girlfriend." Four simple words. They had Kaname swooning like she had just finished the best romance novel. That ought to put those shameless flirts in their place. You go Sousuke!

"Uh huh. Probably because she told you she is. We'd never resort to anything _that_ low..." Another girl chose a spot and pointed to the area next to her.

"Just because she's easy or something doesn't mean that she's the best choice, you know." The third girl sat down and patted her lap.

"My hair color is natural..." The fourth girl added timidly. "But if you like blue..." She remained standing, next to Sousuke.

Kaname was tempted to run over and push all of those girls into the water. Couldn't they take rejection with a little bit of pride and dignity?

"It is _my_ choice." Sousuke's voice was firm and level. Kaname was filled with pride. Thee years ago he would have been tongue-tied, sweating up a storm. That kind of thing was now reserved for his time with her.

"You can _always_ change you mind..." One girl offered. "More than once..." Another added. "As... _many_... times... as... you... like..." The third chimed in, leaning backwards to strike a particularly provocative pose.

"I won't." Sousuke began to sound as if he was growing annoyed. Kaname smiled. No doubt he was thinking something along the lines of 'no one should doubt the word of a Specialist.'

The big jerk! She wouldn't swap him for anything in the world.

"Sous-_kayyyy_..." One girl stood back up again and took hold of Sousuke's arm. "How are you going to know what's right for you if you don't sample different things?" A second girl crossed her legs, giving Sousuke a very pointed stare. "That girl is probably very needy, right? She probably won't mind if you date around." Another girl had taken hold of his other arm.

"I would mind, though." There had been a spark in Sousuke's voice, flint against steel. Kaname smiled, feeling very warm inside. He had done what he could.

It was time for her to help him. She walked up nonchalantly, the boxes held behind her back. "Sousuke. _There_ you are. I've been anxious to see you. Did you miss me?" Kaname acted as if the other girls were not even there.

"Affirmative." Sousuke smiled. He blushed when Kaname walked over and gave him a quick kiss.

"Uh oh. Looks like I might have some competition." She winked, with only Sousuke being able to see. "Should I be worried?" Those words had the other girls looking hopeful.

"Not when you're watching, Kaname." Sousuke straightened up his shoulders. Kaname scowled at first. That was too damn close to posing as far as she was concerned. But, she anticipated what kind of effect his newfound wit might have on someone else other than herself.

"I see. I guess I should just try harder, right? Speaking of watching... would you like me to dress like they do... or continue to show some dignity?" Kaname fought to keep a grin off of her face.

Sousuke looked at the other girls. Much too long for Kaname's liking. She'd give him three more seconds. Why was he still looking? Moron!

"Dignity is good _too_, Kaname." Sousuke grinned.

Kaname bit her lip. So, he thought he was going to play with her, too? Oooh…_  
_  
"How about fashion sense? I thought that was important to you?" Kaname came very close to smiling.

The other girls all gave Kaname dark looks before turning their attention back to Sousuke.

"Only when the lights are on, Kaname." Sousuke had said that like he was some kind of stud. Kaname knew differently, and would be sure to remind him later.

One of the girls turned bright red. The other three looked at each other and smiled. They obviously thought that they held some kind of advantage.

"But don't you at least want a girl with _some_ tread left on her tires?" Kaname waved her arm at the trio of less primly attired girls.

The young ladies took offense at that. Soon, a rather noisy argument arose, and threatened to grow ugly. Sousuke clapped his hands loudly.

Kaname noticed the look in his eyes. He was up to something. What?

"This is growing rather disquieting. I suppose we should settle this once and for all." Sousuke sounded very stern and authoritative. The girls looked at him with big eyes.

Kaname was certain that he was going to be serious... tell the girls how he felt about her... and ask them to respect his wishes. She was so glad she was here to see that. It would make a wonderful memory.

"I propose a contest." Sousuke rubbed his hands together.

Kaname froze.

The 'harem' was very excited. Once it became a clear competition, a majority of the girls thought they would have things sewn up.

"What kind of competition?" The most restrained girl asked.

Sousuke looked over at Kaname. He didn't wink. She was expecting him to wink and he didn't. That was going to spell trouble later. "Let me see..." Sousuke rubbed his chin, a faraway look in his eyes. "We could do kissing." He actually smiled when he saw Kaname's face go pale. It was nice to know she cared. "No. Kaname would win that easily."

The others girls all spoke up in protest. Kaname removed one demerit from her mental list.

"We could also try cooking." That had all of the girls offering to cook Sousuke dinner. "But, Kaname would probably win that too." The harem complained loudly. The judge sounded biased.

"Hey dude, you could try mud wrestling. If you sold tickets, a lot of guys would come!" One young man and his friends had obviously been listening in.

"That _does_ have possibilities..." Sousuke swallowed when he saw the look on Kaname's face. He shouldn't be giving her any ideas. Those other girls would end up in intensive care. "But I could beat each and every one of them. It _would_ be quite pleasant, however." That time Sousuke did wink at Kaname. He saved himself a lot of grief. "Oh. You probably meant a competition between girls..."

"I'd do it!" One of the girls exclaimed rather loudly. "Well, I _would."  
_  
"How about scholastics?" Sousuke looked eager, then made his face fall. "No. None of you are in Kaname's league." Kaname decided that this was all going wonderfully after all. Sousuke could pay for his demerits in kisses. He had a lot of demerits.

"Who needs smart when you have pretty?" One girl asked.

"I do," Sousuke said plainly. "Why settle for one, when you can have both?" Kaname would have to think of something especially nice to do for Sousuke in response to that one. "Ah, but I have just the thing."

_"What?"_ All of the girls asked at once, including Kaname. She scolded herself, having gotten too caught up in things. Even in the middle of a rigged contest, her competitive side was getting the better of her.

She stopped and narrowed her eyes. It better be a rigged contest!_  
_  
Sousuke looked at his watch. "The first one who brings me lunch will be mine." He made certain that the other girls didn't have a lunch bag or anything like that. They certainly couldn't conceal any food on themselves with the outfits they were wearing.

The four 'harem' girls looked at each other... started walking slowly... And then broke into a run.

"You win," Sousuke said to Kaname, who brought the bentos out from behind her back.

"What makes you think that one of these is for _you?"_ Kaname asked. She couldn't keep it up. Dropping the boxes, she leaped on Sousuke and gave him a big kiss. "That was wonderful Sousuke. We make a pretty good team, don't we?"

"Affirmative." Sousuke stroked his hand slowly along Kaname's hair, enjoying the look on her face.

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Kaname sat patiently, waiting for Sousuke.

She had forgotten to pack drinks, and he was kind enough to run out and grab some. While he was gone, the first of the 'harem' girls had returned, unhappy to see Kaname sitting there with two box lunches.

"Does he know you have that waiting for him there?" The girl had a rather sour look on her face when she pointed at Sousuke's bento.

Kaname put on an innocent look. "I doesn't matter. I was first. I'm certain he will believe _me._ He had to run off to Building 102." That was far across the campus. "But he'll be back soon enough."

"Oh... Building 102... _hmmm_... I guess you win then..." The girl took off at a quick stride, no doubt headed in the direction of Building 102. Kaname did not feel in the least bit guilty.

She repeated the act when a second girl showed up. A third girl, seeing two others girls headed off on a tangent, quickly made effort to catch up.

A strong gust of wind came up, catching Kaname by surprise. Her stack of napkins took wing, headed in the direction the girls had gone. A boy jumped up and caught a number of them, The same boy who had snagged her homework paper the other day.

Great! What was taking Sousuke so long?

"Kaname! It looks like I've done you _another_ service." The boy handed the napkins to her.

"Thank you." Kaname felt obliged to at least be polite.

"That makes two you owe me. I don't mind doing you favors, if you'll show me _your_ favor." He tried the big smile and flexing muscles routine again. Kaname felt her temper rising. The boy looked down at her bento box. "How about I take you out to lunch for some _real_ food."

"I cooked these..." Kaname said with a dangerous voice.

"Oh. Then, they must be splendid, since _you're_ so wonderful. Now, was that an invitation I just heard?" The boy eyed the second bento box.

"Furthest... thing... from... it..." Kaname's face should have dissuaded any further attempt. It didn't.

"Well, seeing that the fountain is a big circle... the furthest thing from one point would be the nearest thing in the other direction, right? Should I walk around it and sit on the other side of you?" He tossed his long locks. "I know you like to watch me walk."

"Sure. You walk around it." That ought to give her a few moments more. Maybe Sousuke would show up in the interim.

"Hmmm. Let's not and say I did." He boy chuckled. "So, what's for lunch."

"I wouldn't eat that if I were you!" It was one of the boys from the soccer team. He was accompanied by a group of his buddies. "She might press charges or something. You'd probably end up in jail." The look the boys gave Kaname was far from friendly.

Kaname bit her cheek. Who lifted up the rock and let all these guys out?_  
_  
"Yeh. Little Miss Popularity single-handedly screwed up our season. She didn't have to do that. Nothing actually happened!" One of the boys spoke angrily. The others added their assent.

Kaname was fuming. For once, she wished that Sousuke had brought his weapons bag. If he had left it for her to watch, she would have put it to good use.

"So..." The boy who stepped forward was the one who had taunted her before, the day after her near rape. "Are you going to threaten all of us with what might happen if your big bad hero shows up again?"

"No." Kaname didn't smile, but she had reason to.

"I didn't think so. I knew that was a lot of hot air." The boy accepted high fives all around.

"I'll let him do that for himself." Kaname stood up when Sousuke arrived with the drinks.

"Is there a problem here?" Sousuke's voice and face suggested that he suspected there was. Taking one look at Kaname's eyes, he nodded his head. "No. I should ask, _what_ is the problem here?"

"We don't have any problem, do we boys?" One of the players laughed. "No. No problem here. _She's_ the one with the problem!" Another guy snickered.

The guy who had tried to weasel a bento from Kaname looked at Sousuke with worried eyes. "Are you the one who beat up those guys in the park?" He swallowed hard when Kaname grabbed Sousuke's arm and nodded her head.

"No. I did not beat them up." Sousuke flexed one arm ever so slightly.

The one guy looked relieved. His buddies made a number of untoward and uncouth remarks about Kaname.

"I took them down," Sousuke said. "With extreme prejudice. It was what the situation called for. But, it was far less than they deserved." He looked at Kaname and nodded his head. "One must stay within the limits of the law and not simply indulge in his baser instincts."

"Hey, plenty of other guys would have..." One soccer player stood up for his jailed teammates.

"I wasn't talking about them. I was talking about myself." Sousuke's look would have frightened off anybody with a grain of sense. The first boy went on his way, chased by hoots of derision from the sports guys, who were emboldened by being in a group.

"Talks pretty big, doesn't he guys?" One guy bounced a soccer ball off of Sousuke's head. "But that doesn't show me much."

"Yeh. You looking to start any trouble, tough guy?" Another guy corralled the ball with his foot... dribbled... then unleashed a strong shot towards Sousuke's face.

Sousuke's combat knife appeared in his hand so quickly, that some boys would have sworn it had been there all along. He speared the ball, then tossed the deflated item at one boy's feet.

"I do not start problems. I remove them. You may do and say what you wish to me. However, if you do something that harms Miss Chidori..." The knife was back where it had been originally. "I will take it personally."_  
_  
"That bitch deserves…" The boy who unwisely opened his mouth never had a chance to describe what Kaname deserved. In one swift series of movements, Sousuke had the young fool bending over and retching, just before he sent him end over end, bouncing him off the wrought iron fountain.

"You may wish to retrieve your friend before he drowns," Sousuke said in a calm and controlled voice. The boy had slid down the fountain, and was now floating face down, unconscious.

A number of the soccer players splashed into the basin of the fountain, rushing to retrieve their fallen friend.

"I will not be as lenient next time." Sousuke said. "The first lesson is free." To further make his point, he turned and spoke to Kaname. "If one of them looks at you crossly, or says something in threat, let me know." After that he sat down and opened up his bento. "Excellent. I liked all of these. Will you join me?" He didn't spare another glance for the rabble rousers.

Kaname followed his lead. She sat next to him. "Well, my box is stuff I cooked. Your box is stuff you cooked..." Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as the group of guys supported their groggy and soaked friend, trying to get him to come to.

Sousuke looked at her, and then smiled. "You shouldn't sacrifice on my behalf, Kaname."

Kaname sat a moment, unmoving. She slowly put her box down. Throwing herself on Sousuke, she misjudged her own strength. The two of them tumbled into the fountain. Dripping with water, Kaname had a serious look on her face when she removed her arms from Sousuke.

"Sousuke, could that boy get you in trouble now?" She wondered if the police or school authorities might take action.

"Negative. No doubt Mithril or the officials favoring the Advanced Reaserach Laboratory would handle matters judiciously." Sousuke wasn't worried about any of that. "There is one thing that might get me in trouble, however."

"What?" Kaname looked somewhat concerned.

_"_This." He dunked Kaname's head under the water, much to the amusement of the onlookers.

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Kaname sat in front of her mirror at home.

Slowly brushing her hair, she smiled. No, she wasn't happy about missing her last class. But, she could get notes from Aki. The reason for her missing class had been fun.

After Sousuke had unceremoniously pushed her head under water, she had decided that he needed to be put properly in his place, spectators be damned. With both arms, she sent wave after shimmering wave of cold water airborne, splashing Sousuke with everything that she had.

The wet and bedraggled looking young soldier surprised her by returning the favor, using broad sweeps of his arm to lift up huge curtains of water.

_He had been smiling._

It had been so wonderful seeing him have fun, especially when he was doing something that his strict and rigid persona never would have allowed him to do three years ago. He may have actually have gotten the better of her then. But, Kaname Chidori was not one to take things lying down. She found her own way to get back at him walking home.

The two of them had needed a fresh change in clothing. They could not possibly walk into the class room trailing great streams of water. Well, maybe he could have, but not her. It looked like someone had put a long wet blue mop on her head.

Strolling hand in hand back the way she had come earlier, Kaname had shrugged her shoulders when she walked by an amused Aki and a group of her other friends. She knew that they would be calling sooner or later, wanting to know what had happened.

"We could stop by your place and pick up some dry clothes, Sousuke. You could change into them over at my place, with me." She had caught him totally off guard with that one. "Unless you like the way I look _now."_ Her wet blouse clung to her like a second skin.

Sousuke came very close to walking into a street lamp. Kaname would have to find some use for the wet shirt look some time in the future.

Being quite the gentleman, Sousuke had walked her all of the way back to her apartment, before heading off to his own. She had lead the conversation, and spent the whole time trying to get an idea of the things that Sousuke had liked to do in his spare time.

She squirreled the information away for another day.Putting the hair brush down, she got up and went to grab her book bag. She didn't want to miss another class. Humming happily, she left her apartment and locked the door behind her. She couldn't wait until the school day was done.

_They would be taking dinner back to Souske's place._


	16. Chapter 16

"Whole Fried Tilapia with Asian Herb Salad and Mamas Fresh Chili Sauce."

Sousuke was beginning to feel hungry. He usually wasn't big on fine food, but the meal he had eaten at Kaname's aparatment had begun to expand his horizons.

"_Hmmpppfff._ No, Sousuke. It should be Ichiban Shibori Beer Battered Cod with Mango Salsa."

Kaname turned up her nose and gave a little wave of her hand.

"Curried-Chicken Spring Rolls and Ginger Coconut Dipping Sauce," Sousuke said, generally liking curried food. He suspected that his suggestion would be shot down again.

"You don't sound very sure about that one. We should go with Hot and Sour Tomato and Mushroom Soup instead." Kaname looked at her finger tips. "Sousuke, do you like the way my nails look?"

"Uhhh... they are very nice, Kaname. Do you like Wild Oriental Mushroom Salad with Mizuna and Crispy Noodles?" The young soldier began to wonder if Kaname was going to try and make _all_ of his decisions for him. Just when he had begun warming to the idea of having a girlfriend….

"You don't sound very sure about that one. We should go with Hot and Sour Tomato and Mushroom Soup instead." Kaname looked at her finger tips. "Sousuke, do you like the way my nails look?"

"Uhhh... they are very nice, Kaname. Do you like Wild Oriental Mushroom Salad with Mizuna and Crispy Noodles?" The young soldier began to wonder if Kaname was going to try and make _all_ of his decisions for him. Just when he had begun warming to the idea of having a girlfriend….

_He already had plenty of commanding officers_.

"You _should_ have asked me if I like Mama's Thai Style Caesar Salad with Crispy Calamari Croutons. The answer is yes. Take note of that for next time." Kaname was smiling, but she would much rather be laughing. Poor Sousuke. She was putting him through basic training all over again.

"I have done so. It might be nice to try a dessert. I have never made it much point to eat them before. Almond Cake with Raspberry Compote." Sousuke wondered which _other_ dessert would Kaname choose.

"Vietnamese Hot Coffee Chocolate Cake with Cream. That ought to do it." Kaname smiled up at Sousuke, giving him a sweet large-eyed look. Sousuke just stood there looking at her. "Something wrong?" She asked, leaning up against him.

Sousuke ran one hand through his hair.

"Hmmmmm?" Kaname's smile grew larger.

Sousuke turned to get a better look at his girlfriend's face. He was trying to read what she was up to, but Kaname's expression didn't give anything away.

"Out with it, mister!" Her voice snapped out like a command. But, her eyes were filled with delight.

"Are you going to make _all_ of the decisions, Kaname?" Sosuske's question was serious, not playful.

"Of course," Kaname said, kissing him. She wasn't going to prolong the game too long. She knew that Sousuke was probably wondering if she was going to try and change him and limit his freedom. "When we don't decide together, or when you're not the one best suited to make the choice."

"Then..." Sousuke's face loosened up. He looked relieved.

"I was playing with you. Get used to it. If you don't, I may have to get my blouse wet again..." Kaname chose that very moment to lean back and stretch slowly.

Sousuke blushed, averting his gaze after getting an eye full for a few moments. "Uhhh... that..."

"Yes?" Kaname stepped up close to Sousuke. "You were saying..." Kaname was enjoying herself tremendously. There were things she could do with Sousuke that she had never done with anyone else. Lucky him!

"It is not a problem when your shirt gets wet." Sousuke cursed his lack of control. The words had come out too fast. "So then, should we order the foods that you selected?"

"Oh." Kaname was rather pleased by Sousuke's admission. "Tonight's my treat, Sousuke. Pick out whatever you like. If we get a fair number, we would have enough left over for tomorrow night." She would give him some control, and hoped that he would give her another night of eating dinner together. No, to be honest, she wanted it to become a routine thing.

"I see. That is very clever tactical planning, Kaname. I would also surmise that you are working on strategic plans as well." Sousuke had his suspicions. He was used to eating alone, and had grown to prefer it while on Da Danaan. But, he had enjoyed eating with Kaname in high school, and even more so recently.

It was Kaname's turn to stand and stare. Sousuke had seen through her scheming rather easily. As clueless as he still was in some ways, he was a formidable opponent. She wouldn't have it any other way.

"Is this going to be an otaku dinner tonight, Sousuke?" Kaname wrinkled her nose.

"Do you want it to be?" Sousuke had to keep from grinning. He enjoyed teasing Kaname. He had never teased anyone before, and might never have an urge to tease anyone else. Accordingly, it was best to get it out of his system while he could. "I have a number of field kits in the apartment building. Bayonets could be used in place of those wooden skewers you use. Topographical maps might make an interesting table cover."

"And should I dress up in camouflage, Sousuke?" Kaname couldn't help but smile. She knew that Sousuke was playing.

"Uh... I..." Some thought had suddenly struck Sousuke.

"Sousuke?" Kaname wondered what Sousuke was thinking. He had blushed ever so briefly.

"It is not important. We should place our order. It may take a while to prepare." Sousuke was speaking quickly again.

**"Sousuke!"** Kaname wondered how long it would be before that kind of short exclamation would lose its effectiveness. She better use it while she could.

"I only have camouflage _pants_, Kaname." Sousuke straightened up. His expression looked somewhat guilty.

"So, why would... oh... I see." Kaname blushed. "I can see where your mind is, soldier!"

"Kaname, I…" Sousuke wondered if he had offended her. She had been coming on strong, but he still did not know the limits of the playing field.

"Keep up the good work." Kaname gave Sousuke a pat on the cheek. "I will say that I'm disappointed in one thing, however." Kaname began tapping her foot.

"Kaname?" Sousuke was finding it hard to keep up with her mental gymnastics.

"I should think that you could at least have ordered the food by now. _Sheesh_. Do I have to do _everything?"_ Kaname laughed at the expression on Sousuke's face. She gave him a quick hug and llet him go about ordering their dinner.

"Affirmative. I will choose some from the ones that I mentioned and some from the one's that you selected." Sousuke signaled for the attention of the person at the take-out desk.

"Make certain they're foods you can pick up with your finger, Sousuke. You did very well last night." Kaname chuckled at Sousuke's reaction. How could he perspire like that so quickly? "I'm only joking, Sousuke. We'll eat whichever way you choose."

"Uhhh. Very good." He turned to speak with the attendant who had come to take their order.

As the two of them sat in a small but beautifully decorated waiting area, Kaname pulled her chair close to Sousuke's. "You know, I'm very happy that we're together, Sousuke. More happy than I can remember being in a long time." She closed her eyes and was content to lean against him.

"It is good to hear that." Sousuke said, taking note of the way he was feeling. Kaname's safety had always been very important to him. Now, her happiness was just as important. "I have never felt this way before."

He wondered what the future would hold. There would be very difficult decisions to make one day.

Very difficult, indeed.

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Kaname and Sousuke made their way along the sidewalk, chatting together as traffic passed by on the busy street.

Each carrying large bags of food, they walked past the entry road that led to the Advanced Research Lab. Kaname asked Sousuke how the repair work was going.

"It will be a difficult process. Much of the heavy debris and damaged equipment has been removed. But, a number of power lines were severed, and will be difficult to replace. Also, new components need to be built, delivered, installed, and tested. The final structural repair will be extensive." Sousuke stepped aside to let an old woman and her wheeled grocery carried move on past.

"But it could have been much worse, right?" Kaname smiled, seeing Sousuke's courtesy towards strangers.

"Affirmative. The secrets are safe. The major machinery is intact. Few people were killed. And your injury was not very severe." The last statement meant the most to Sousuke. He wondered if that indicated that he was not taking his assignment seriously enough.

"Either was _yours_. Don't forget to mention yourself, Sousuke." Kaname's voice was a little harsh. She wanted Sousuke to begin valuing himself more. "I feel kind of guilty, though."

"Kaname?" Sousuke stopped, wondering what Kaname meant.

"If I hadn't been in that building, and did not end up saving you and injuring myself, I don't know if you would ever have given me the chance to..." She didn't need to finish.

_They both knew what she meant._

"Yes. I must admit I have felt the same way myself recently. That is a shameful admission from someone whose responsibility includes keeping that building and its inhabitants safe."

The two of them began walking again.

"You're only human, Sousuke. You have a right to your own feelings. What happened, happened. If we benefit from it, great! Our happiness didn't cause the catastrophe, right? Spending time together won't cause it to happen again, will it?" Kaname looped her free arm through Sousuke's.

"But, if I am distracted from my work..." Sousuke voiced one of his major concerns.

"You won't be. This is not an 'either or' kind of thing. You can care about me _and_ do your job well. " Kaname pulled Sousuke to a halt, wanting to make an important point. "If you are not strong enough for that, I will be sorely disappointed in you. I'm strong enough to allow you to do whatever you need to do your job. I hope you can be strong enough to allow yourself whatever you need to be happy."

"I see." Sousuke looked at the fierce look on Kaname's face, feeling grateful that she cared about him. "I will do that for you Kaname. I will also learn to do it for myself as well."

_"Hmmmpppfff!_ Not bad having someone who cares about you, is it?" Kaname bumped up against Sousuke.

"You may have some practical use after all," Sousuke said with a straight face. That earned him a kick in the shin followed by a kiss on the cheek. He smiled at that, before his face became rather serious. "I hope that the expected delays in the project lead to my staying here longer than originally planned. I pray that it does not cause people to think that I will not be useful here in the interim."

"Do you think they might pull you away?" Kaname's heart was in her throat. That was the last thing she wanted to hear at the moment.

"I cannot say. For the immediate future, however, I am very useful here. They ignored many of the security suggestions I made before. Now, they are planning on adding as many as they can while they rebuild the damaged areas." Sousuke sounded pleased about that. "Soon enough, I may be dedicating a fair amount of time to that."

Kaname had mixed feelings. She was glad that there was something that might bind Sousuke to Tokyo. She didn't like the idea of his not having a lot of free time after class.

Taking the good with the bad. That was something she had been forced to do throughout her entire life.

She planned on making the most of any opportunity she was given.

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Kaname had worked up quite an appetite by the time Sousuke stopped before a four-story building.

"This is what I call home."

Kaname looked at the tidy and compact structure, taking note of the clean marble steps, intricately carved stone work, ornately etched wooden shutters, and stout window bars. The front was deep red brick. A large fluted arch covered a small recessed entryway. The intricate metal railing leading to the front door seemed recently painted.

"It's a very nice building, Sousuke. Can we see your room from here?" Kaname wondered what floor Sousuke lived on. Knowing that he was a fitness freak, she guessed the fourth floor.

"Yes, Kaname. All of them are my rooms."

"What?" The answer didn't quite register with Kaname at first. "How can they all be your rooms, Sousuke?"

"It is my building, Kaname. I am the only one who lives here." Sousuke took out his key and opened the front door. Holding it open, he ushered a slack-jawed Kaname into his home.

"But...did Mithril buy the whole building for security purposes? Or will this one day serve as a large safe house?" Kaname began looking around a small lobby. It looked to be very nicely kept, decorated with what was probably the original furniture, paintings, wall coverings, and lamps.

"Negative. I bought the building, Kaname." Sousuke walked into the area that was once a concierge's station. A number of monitors were set-up, as well as various types of recording equipment. Punching numbers into a keyboard, he ran a series of tapes at fast forward, reviewing the logs of the external camera systems.

"The whole building? But, it must have been very expensive, Sousuke!" Kaname couldn't believe what she had heard.

"Correct. But, Mithril pays very well. My means were always very meager, and I have been in their service for a long time now. Members of the Finance Department helped me make a number of wise investments. This building itself shall serve as an investment of sorts." Finished with his perusal, Sousuke took the second bag from Kaname and led her down an exquisitely paneled hallway lined by old-fashioned lamps, mirrors, and murals.

"You never cease to amaze me, Sousuke." Kaname was taken aback. A number of ideas began running through her head, but she realized that she was rushing things.

"We can eat in this room, Kaname. It must have been a meeting room of sorts. I make use the table in here, on days when I have sit-down meals." The room had a high sculpted ceiling, plus a wall full of fancy windows, each heavily barred and exhibiting wires from some kind of sensors.

"I will get us some plates and glasses. The kitchen facilities are through this door." Sousuke left and returned with a small serving cart full of bowls, plates, glasses, and utensils.

Kaname looked around the room breathlessly, as she helped Sousuke arrange the meal. "This is all very beautiful, Sousuke."

"Affirmative. I was very fortunate. The owner was willing to sell me the facilities intact, with all of the current contents. I would not have been good at arranging things myself. I will give you a tour after we eat." Sousuke's look rested on Kaname's face. It was rather intense.

"Sousuke?" Kaname wondered what he was thinking.

"It is..." Sousuke was looking for the right way to bring up a certain subject.

Kaname looked on, more curious than before. What was he going to ask? Could he mean to..._  
_  
"This building... it is larger than one person needs... I was wondering..." Sousuke's face looked nervous. His eyes only lingered on Kaname briefly.

Kaname felt her heart begin racing. Her breathing sped up. Could Sousuke be asking her to live with him? That would be so bold for anyone, especially him. Their relationship had not gotten that far yet. What should she do if he was asking that? It was something she had already fantasized, when she heard that the building was Sousuke's. But, she didn't know if she was ready for that kind of step. "Are you asking me if I want to live with you, Sousuke?" She swallowed hard, but managed to meet his uneasy gaze.

"Yes." That word had Kaname feeling weak in the knees. "But it... you would not... the arrangement would be one of convenience and frugality. I am not trying..." Sousuke ran down. He was clearly embarrassed. "There are many open rooms. Even open floors. You could select as many as you wish, wherever you like. You would be near me that way. I could always be certain that you are safe. But I would not wish to keep track of your actions, or..."

Kaname tried to settle herself down. She realized what Sousuke was proposing. No, she did not want to use that word. It made her blush.

_It was a very nice arrangement, if she wanted to go through with it._

She would be closer to school. Sousuke was unlikely to ask for rent money. It was a gorgeous building. She could put her rooms as close to Sousuke as she thought was proper, and as near as he would allow. And if their relationship progressed where she hoped it would..._  
_  
"If I were to be called away for a while, the building's security systems would still function adequately. And, if I was called away for..." Sousuke stopped momentarily, not wanting to consider certain possibilities at that time.

"I could still live here, and also help take care of the building for you." Kaname was impressed by Sousuke's line of reasoning. She wondered if he had thought about this before, or whether he had the same idea that she did when they walked in together.

"Yes." Sousuke's posture and look suggested that he was somewhat anxious.

"That's a very nice offer, Sousuke. Could I have some time to think things over?" Kaname didn't want to rush in to things and get Sousuke's hopes up, then think of some reason why she shouldn't have made her decision.

"Certainly, Kaname. I should go get some ice. Napkins would also be advisable." Sousuke left to gather up the items he had mentioned.

Kaname smiled. It certainly looked like Fate was offering her wonderful choices. Things were going more splendidly than she could ever have imagined. Did that mean she should start to worry? Was Destiny setting her up for some great fall?

Maybe. But, she would not worry about that tonight.

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After a leisurely and pleasant dinner, Sousuke cleared off the table and graciously allowed Kaname to help him.

"When I made dinner, _you_ didn't have to clean up." Kaname put on a false pout.

"You told me I couldn't. At one time you threatened me with bodily harm." Sousuke placed plates and dished into a huge stainless steel sink basis and started the water.

"You're a soldier. Somebody is _always _offering you bodily harm. That doesn't stop you from doing your job, _does_ it?" Kaname poured some liquid soap in. When there were enough bubbles, she scooped some out and threw them on Sousuke.

"I see what your idea of helping is, Kaname." Sousuke handed Kaname a large sprayer. "Why don't you just get it over with?" Sousuke gave Kaname a somewhat peeved look. "We were discussing help. If you remember correclty, I informed you that you did not need to offer any assiatnce."

"I know, Sousuke. I'm just a better person than you are, that's all. Nicer. Smarter. Better looking." Kaname smiled. "Besides, I've matured more than you have. I have no desire to squirt you with this hose. That would be childish."

"Fine. When we are done here, I will give you a----" Sousuke shook his head when a stream of water ran down from his hair and onto his chin. Looking at Kaname's grin, he thought of a response. It might scandalize himself more than Kaname, even though he would only be joking. "If you are intent on getting me all wet, you might as well come into the shower with me."

Kaname twitched. She squeezed the handle on the sprayer inadvertently, leaving a large wet spot on her skirt. That was _not _supposed to happen. His offer had caught her off guard, even if it was only in jest.  
_  
_"OK. Let's go." Kaname put the hose away. She wanted to see what Sousuke would do next. "I hope it has big glass enclosure. That way, we will have plenty of room. Although, I won't mind if things get a bit tight."

Sousuke stood silently for a moment. Kaname was a crafty opponent. She had been studying his ways, just as he had been taking note of hers. He swallowed hard. What if Kaname had something risqué in mind? Should he follow through with it? He couldn't back down now. Also, it would help to let the dishes soak some before he finished them. "The top apartment has just such a shower. I will give you the tour on the way up."

"Great!" Kaname followed after Sousuke. She was certain he was just playing a game of brinksmanship, but couldn't be entirely certain. He had shown a growing capacity for affection, and had been willing to accept more and more attention from her. His education was proceeding nicely. She couldn't back down either._  
_  
Most of the rooms in the apartment building remained furnished, with beds, dressers, and tables, and chairs. All had full baths, and a majority had kitchenettes. A fair number of rooms had been redone radically, based on Sousuke's needs.

Kaname was shocked to hear that Sousuke made use of all of the bedrooms. He never slept in the same room for more than two nights in a row. While trying to convince him that such a security measure wasn't necessary, she was glad to learn that he know longer slept under his bed.

Sousuke showed her a library... a small gymnasium... an armory... an office... and an entertainment room. There was a large laundry facility was present in the basement, along with sizeable areas of storage. The top floor had the largest bedrooms, not to mention a small separate kitchen, a decadently large sitting area, and a enormous bathroom attached to the master suite.

"Will this suffice, Kaname?" Sousuke showed Kaname a large shower area, complete with a small sitting area inside the shower. The glass was brass edged and etched with heraldic scenes.

Kaname looked at the shower with a mixture of avarice and trepidation. It was wondrous. What she wouldn't give to be able to take a shower in that every morning!The large soaking tub next to the shower was also elegant beyond belief, lined with polished stone and bordered by imported tile-work.

Now, how should she play this out? Oh. _That_ might be fun. But, it would be risky, and could leave her in a rather embarrassing situation. She had to take the risk! Kaname Chidori had been good and proper for years on end. She needed a chance to let things hang out a little, so to speak.

Besides, she thought she knew SousukeWhat was the chance that he would take things very far, or let her do the same?

"This room is amazing, Sousuke. It will do just fine. Why don't you get the water running?" Kaname held back a grin, watching the play of emotions across Sousuke's face. For a moment her imagination wandered, and it was her turn to blush when Sousuke looked over at her.

The water got hot very fast, and soon a great foggy cloud of steam filled the shower. Sousuke went through the motions of correcting the water temperature. A number of images ran through his mind, with his imagination filling in the enticing details.

"Uh... it appears that the shower is ready, Kaname. You may go in first, if you like. I will use it after you are finished. I should get us some towels." Sousuke swallowed hard again and turned to leave.

"The towels over there will do just fine, Sousuke." Kaname nodded towards a number of neatly folded towels on a fancy dresser. "And you asked me to get in the shower with you, right?" That ought to get an 'uhhh' or two.

"Uhhh... if that's what you want... uhhh... you may undress in here while I disrobe in the other room." Sousuke tried to keep his voice even. A small part of him was overly eager, but for the most part he simply felt nervous.

_Kaname was playing, wasn't she?  
_  
"Now, what would be the fun in _that?"_ Kaname licked her lips, figuring that would send Sousuke's pulse rate skyrocketing. "Why don't we get started..." She slowly unbuttoned her blouse, realizing that she actually wanted to have Sousuke look at her. "Come on, Sousuke. You too. This is not a strip joint, you know."

"I… you… affirmative." Sousuke fumbled with the buttons on his shirt momentarily, until he took a deep breath, set his jaw, and continued in a more controlled fashion. He could do this. There had been any number of times where he had seen naked women. Rescued prisoners. Victims in need of medical aid. Any number of different situations. But, none of them had been Kaname!_  
_  
Kaname marveled at the change in Sousuke's physique. She pulled so hard on one button, that it popped off, leaving her holding a short pair of strings. He must work out a lot. But, it wasn't all blushes and giggles. She bit her lip. There were a number of rather nasty looking scars at various points on his body.

She dropped her blouse on the floor, feeling a good bit self-conscious. Sousuke followed suit.  
They both stood there watching each other silently, until Kaname decided to make the next move. She unbuttoned her skirt and let in slide to the floor. She fought the urge to put her hands in front of her. She blushed when Sousuke looked at her legs.

Sousuke quickly averted his gaze. How far was this going to goIf Kaname took anything else off...

"Sousuke? What are you waiting for?" Kaname twitched . She was beginning to feel excited. That was not in the plan. She needed to stay focused. It was almost time for her move.

"Uhhh... yes. I will continue. My apologies." Sousuke turned slightly and took a glance at a large mirror. It showed a nice view of Kaname from behind. He blinked repeatedly. She looked just as nice from that angle.

"I'm sure it's a very nice mirror, Sousuke."

Sousuke mumbled an apology and unbuckled his belt... unbuttoned his button... undid his zipper... and let his pants slide down. He stepped out of them as resolutely as he could, feeling the cold air raising some goose bumps along his skin.

Kaname looked at Sousuke's legs, noting more scars there. No doubt, each scar had a tale to tell. Some day, if they grew close enough, she would want to hear each and every story. At the current moment however, she had a task to accomplish. Looking down at both their feet, she saw that everything was in place.

"Try not to drool, Sousuke. It's very unbecoming." She reached around behind her, as if she were going to unfasten her bra. Sousuke should be closing his eyes any moment now. Bingo!_  
_  
Moving quickly, Kaname kicked her skirt and blouse out of Sousuke's reach... picked up Sousuke's clothing... then threw his pants and shirt into the shower. Grabbing her own clothes, she ran off laughing, looking for some place to get dressed again.

That all served a number of purposes, she told herself. It would make Sousuke less hesitant whenever she _did_ want him to take his clothing off. And, of course, she had won that round. Big time!_  
_  
When she was finished getting dressed, she expected to find Sousuke wrapped in a number of towels like a mummy, holding his sopping we pants and shirt. But, he was nowhere to be seen. "Sousuke?" She called out, looking around the large suite of rooms. There was still no sign of him. A trail of water led out into the hallway.

Trying to follow the tracks, Kaname cursed. Even in this playful situation, Sousuke was a soldier. He had obviously walked in various directions, leaving a number of false trails. "Sousuke, it was only a joke. Please don't be mad." Kaname checked in a number of rooms, without success. With every door she opened, she held her breath, her heart beating rapidly

Room by room, Sousuke covertly followed Kaname. It was good practice for him, and it allowed him to assess her talents in tracking and threat detection. He would allow this to go on for a while. There was little doubt in his mind that Kaname would grow more and more worried with each passing moment.

He would learn a thing or two in the process. For example, How long might it take her to go from worried to annoyed. Then, how long would it take to go from annoyed to angry.

"Please, Sousuke. I'm sorry. I was just having fun with you. There's no reason to be embarrassed or upset."

Sousuke smiled. That next room might get a response out of Kaname, especially if she didn't turn the light on first.

"**AHHH!**" There was the sound of falling things. The light went on. "Damn you, Sousuke!" Kaname had stumbled across a number of manikins he used to hold various uniforms and body armor. "You better hide, Mister!"

Sousuke had seen enough. It was time for him to head off to his walk-in closet and put some new clothes on. After that, he would sneak past Kaname and go back down to work in the kitchen. If she was clever, she would look there soon enough. It was a practical place for him to be.

If she wanted to search for him floor by floor and door by door, he would let her. It would teach her a valuable lesson.

It was never wise to toy with a Specialist. Especially the Specialist who owned the building!


	17. Chapter 17

All of the hallways were dimly lit, the rheostats turned down low.

It was almost eerie, walking through the building under those conditions. A single door on one floor had been left open. Bright light shone out of it.

_That was where that big idiot would be…_

The nerve of him! Just because she got him good, he had to get her better. At least her joke had been cute and funny. His prank was cruel and demeaning That was her story, and she was sticking to it.

"Please come in, Kaname. You are fully dressed, I presume?" Sousuke's voice drifted down the hallway. But, she was four rooms away! Damn his otaku hearing...

When Kaname stepped inside the room, she realized that it was Sousuke's study. There was a small bookshelf; a number of world maps on the wall; a large wooden desk; a nice computer; and a fax-scanner-copier combo. A bright halogen lamp mounted on a swing swivel arm shone light down upon the monitor, a nearby stack of books, and a disordered pile of typed papers.

Sousuke looked over at Kaname, an innocent look on his face. "My tour wasn't enough? Or, have you grown bored with my company?"

Kaname clenched her teeth. It had taken her a good fifteen minutes to locate him. "Sousuke..." She sounded unhappy, to say the least.

"I made these up. I thought they might be insulting, so I did not use them." Sousuke held up a large arrow-shaped sign. Written in the center were the words this way'. "I thought it might serve you well to check out all of the available rooms, in case you do decided to stay here some day."

"Sousuke... you... " Kaname fought her temper. After all, she had started things, helped them along, and scored what she had thought was the _coup de gras_. She was still learning things about Sousuke. 'How far she could push him' was one thing. 'His manner of retaliation' was another. "You can bet I…"

She had almost said that she would not be staying there any time soon. That wasn't necessarily true, as she needed time to think things through. The last thing she wanted to prompt Sousuke to remove the offer from the table.

"Kaname?" Sousuke looked ready to weather any storm.

Kaname was glad to see that. Sousuke could take care of himself. She could say and do whatever felt right to her, without being too worried that she might offend him or turn his feelings against her. "This is a nice study, Sousuke. What are you working on?"

"Thank you. This is where I do my research and writing. I am working on a number of comparative essays. One details the similarities between the Samurai and the Spartans, two groups that some people consider the ultimate warriors of their time. The other addresses the similarities between the Samurai and Bushido, and the Knights and Chivalry."

"Oh." She should have known it would be something otaku. "What class are they for?".

"They are not for any class, Kaname. Although, they might some day prove useful in that capacity. I am writing these for submission to military journals. I thought it would be a practical use of my free time, as I have read much on those subjects over the years." He tidied up his papers, and then moved to stabilize a wobbling pile of books and journals.

"I see." Kaname was surprised. She had never thought about Sousuke in regards to his intellect. She had held a pretty dim opinion of him in high school, and didn't begin to think otherwise until he outshown her in their college Biology class. "You read about those things when you were on the submarine?"

"Affirmative." Sousuke nodded. "I began reading such things while I was in the training camps. A soldier who was about to retire gave me books on warfare throughout the ages. They caught my interest and gave me reason to learn English." Sousuke turned off his light. "Would you like to retire to some place more comfortable? Or, if I have angered you too much for one evening, do wish me to walk you home?"

"I'm not angry any more, Sousuke." She walked over and gave his a brief hug. Then abruptly, she stamped on his toe. "At least not _too_ much."

"I will need to start wearing steel-toed boots again," Sousuke said, wincing. "While I'm at it, I should go back to camouflage shirts…"

"**NO!**" Kaname bit her lip. He was just kidding, right? "No, Sousuke. Let's go find that comfortable couch. Perhaps there will be another thunderstorm tonight." She winked.

"Uhhh..." Sousuke stared at Kaname for a moment. Why should her hints make him uncomfortable? He had enjoyed their time together that night. Part of him worried that things were moving too quickly for him to control. Another part thought it might good for him to have something that he could not control. "Yes. I'll show you there, and then go get us something to drink."

"That's OK. We can get things together. And, that way, you won't have a chance to disappear again. _Hmmmpppfff!"_ She put her arm around Sousuke and helped usher him out into the hallway.

After the two had gathered what they wanted, Sousuke led Kaname back to the top floor, this time bringing her into the sitting area. He offered her the choice of an antique French sofa, or any number of hard-backed and stuffed chaired arranged throughout the room. She chose the sofa.

They both took a few moments to look out of a huge picture window. Kaname pulled Sousuke's arm around her, content to stand there with him for a while. These quiet times were nice, especially compared to all of the danger and misadventures they been through when they were younger. She realized that she could get used to this view.

Intellectually, she understood that she and Sousuke had been dating for a very short period of time; but, she felt as if they had never parted before. There were things that she wanted very much to know about him, and there were things that she wanted him to understand about her.

She had made a good start the other night. Perhaps she would have another opportunity now.

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The lights were down low in the sitting area.

Sousuke opened a number of windows, allowing a pleasant cool cross draft.

"Sousuke?" Kaname sat on the sofa, waiting for Sousuke. She placed her glass of fruit drink on a fancy coaster.

"Yes?" Sousuke noted the change in Kaname's voice He wondered if she had made a decision in regards to his offer, or was thinking about something that was important to her.

"Do you ever think about the future?" Kaname held her breath. The way that Sousuke would answer the questions that she had would be very telling.

"Kaname?" Sousuke lit a number of wax tapers on the wall, putting their glass globes back in place when he was done. He had never felt any desire to light them before, since the electric lights were much more efficient.

"Have you given any thought to what you might be doing in a year... five years... ten years... stuff like that." Kaname pushed her hair out of her face. "I have."

Sousuke walked over to the sofa, moved a few fancy tassled pillows, and sat next to his girlfriend. "Yes, Kaname. I have done some of that lately. Before, I was not really concerned about such things. I have grown accustomed to going where I'm sent, and handling things as they come up." He put his drink down next to Kanames. "Perhaps if I had thought differently in the past... back in high school…" His face looked somewhat melancholy.

Kaname lowered her eyes for a moment. She didn't want to dwell on the past tonight. What was done was done. A worrisome thought had her bite the inside of her cheek every so softly. "Did you feel that way, back then, because you were convinced that you are going to die in battle some day?" Her voice caught in her throat.

"Kaname?"

"Do you care whether you live or die, Sousuke?" She wasn't certain where that question came from. But, she hoped that Sousuke was not resigned to being a one day.

"I do not wish to die, Kaname. Given a choice, I would much rather live, even if I did not have a beautiful woman sitting on my couch." Sousuke watched Kaname closely. She did not blush. There was no happiness or gratitude in her expression. Her attention was focused on him. "Do I think that I am destined to die in battle? No. I do not worry about that. "Sousuke paused, wondering how Kaname might take his next statement. It might upset her, as she did not know the historical context it would be drawn from. "To be able to perform my best in combat, I start out with the assumption that I am _already_ dead."

Kaname's eyes widened. "Does that mean you don't fight to stay alive? You always assume that you will die? But you just said..."

Sousuke put his arm on the back of the couch, and then rested his chin on his hand. He watched Kaname's eyes, trying to judge her mood. "It will take a bit of an explanation, Kaname. It will be otaku, and it may well bore you. But, if you like, I will tell you what I mean..."

"OK." Kaname hoped with all her heart that Sousuke wasn't fatalistic, or some kind of fanatic. She had always carried that question close to her heart, never really wanting to ask it.

"I have spent most of my life getting by moment by moment, day by day. There were things that I have needed to focus on. Combat training. Briefing sessions. The actual missions. The only thing that concerned me was becoming as skilled as I could, and succeeding in battle as best I could. While I was always aware that I might die in any fight, I did not go in expecting to do so. Do you remember the topic of those essays I am writing?"

"Yes… what..." Kaname looked perplexed.

"I am a mystery to myself sometimes. I have no way of knowing if any of my beliefs and habits come from time spent with my parents. I am not certain how much I may have modeled myself after the people that I have subsequently came to live around. I might well have picked up many of my beliefs from things that I have seen, read, and been told." Sousuke closed his eyes and took a deep easy breath, then let it out. "I sometimes think that I have taken unto myself, some of the things that the Samurai, Spartans, and Knights held dear or found to be true for them." Sousuke looked to see if understanding had begun to dawn in Kaname's eyes.

_Not surprisingly, it had not._

"Is this going to be a lecture, Sousuke? There are things I _really_ want to know. I also have things that I really want _you_ to know." Kaname would gladly listen to Sousuke's papers some day, but she didn't want things to move too far off course.

"No, Kaname. I think that I can anticipate some of your questions and concerns. I find that examples often help people understand someone else's point of view. Such things will also help me organize my thoughts." Sousuke ran his hand through his hair, trying to find the words he wanted.

Kaname leaned back on the couch. After looking at Sousuke for a moment, she nodded her head and said "OK."

"If one were asked to distill down to an essence what it was to be samurai, he would say that it lay first in devoting one's body and soul to his master. If one were then asked what mattered beyond this, he would say to improve oneself inwardly with intelligence, humanity, and courage. The combining of those virtues may seem unobtainable to anyone who was not a samurai. But, to them, it was it easy." Sousuke knew that he was taking a somewhat roundabout route, but he wanted to provide Kaname with some context.

"Those are things that _you_ have, Sousuke. At least, you have humanity, courage, and devotion to Mithril." Kaname stuck out her lower lip, a good natured sparkle in her eyes. "Intelligence is open to debate."

"Yes. Well, intelligence is nothing more than discussing things with others. Limitless wisdom comes from that. Humanity is something done for the sake of others, simply comparing oneself with them and putting them first. _Courage_ is gritting one's teeth and pushing ahead, paying no attention to the circumstances. To the samurai, anything beyond those three things was not thought to be truly important. So, as you can see, they were not simply fierce warriors or stoic killers."

"I don't understand how that relates to your thoughts about dying..." Kaname looked puzzled.

"You said _'OK',_ Kaname." Sousuke leaned back on the couch.

"Sorry." Kaname said, trying to be attentive.

"To a samurai, service was very important. The name samurai even meant _'those who serve'. _A man was considered a good retainer to the extent that he earnestly places importance in his master, not his own well being. Mithril is my master, Kaname. Throughout my servitude, I have made it a point to advance daily, becoming more skillful than the day before. The samurai believed that there was surely nothing other than the single purpose of the present moment. As such, a man's whole life was viewed as a succession of moment after moment. If one fully understands the present moment, there will be nothing else to do, and nothing else to pursue. They sought to live being true to that principal."

Kaname ran her hand along her hair. That might explain why Sousuke seemed to be so reckless when they were in high school. He was dealing with each given moment, while she was more concerned with the consequences.

"Courage and sacrifice were important to Samurai, Spartan, and Knight alike. Each of those warriors could well be faced with almost certain death, when going into battle. They prepared for that death, yet did not let it intrude in their fighting. With the Spartans, the war would be fought until all of the Spartans were dead or the battle had been won. That was not simply a casual disregard of life. They saw the State and the Law as worth dying for."

Sousuke folded both hands together in his lap. Kaname continued to listen patiently.

"Dying in battle was the most honorable way in which the Spartans could die. He was fighting for his country...his children... the things he valued. I would not give my life for Mithril, Kaname. But I willingly risk it for those people that are unable to fight for themselves."

"Sousuke." Kaname felt a lump in her throat. She reached out and touched Sousuke's hand.

"Like the samurai, most knights acted as retainers to greater lords, some of whom were more renown fighters, or the enforcers of policy and morality. Both were hired to protect the land and the people. I feel the same way myself… like a warrior in his armor… when I am strapped into an Arm Slave. Those warriors were expected to follow a code of honor. I try to as well. There were significant ways in which the samurai and Spartans were different than most knights." Sousuke was glad that his research would actually serve a practical purpose.

Kaname opened her mouth a moment, intending to ask a question. She shook her head.

"You were going to say something?" Sousuke would not mind an interruption.

"No. It's silly. You're trying to explain things to me..." Kaname tried to brush away her own irrelevant question.

"It is not a problem. Go ahead." Sousuke was curious what she had been thinking.

"I was just thinking... no, it really isn't important..." Kaname blushed.

Sousuke folded his arms across his chest. He stared at Kaname.

"If you think of yourself as a knight in armor... well… I was wondering if you would fight differently if you had a Lady waiting for you..." Kaname lowered her eyes.

"That would depend on whether or not I was one of the earliest knights, or one of those that lived in later periods. The earliest knights treated women very poorly, more like possessions. I can certainly see the benefit in that." Sousuke kept a straight face.

"What!" Kaname frowned. "You better **NOT** start thinking about me as your possession, Sousuke!"

"Hmmmm. You belong to someone else, then? Pity..." He did grin that time.

Kaname gave him the evil eye. He ignored that warning. "When the crusaders returned to Europe, their view of women had changed, after seeing how the Muslims treated their women. Courtly love... sweet songs... troubadours... those type of things became popular. That kind of love between a knight and his lady was very mature and romantic." Sousuke watched for Kaname's reaction.

"There you go. _That's_ what I want, Sousuke." Kaname gave Sousuke a rather possessive look.

"I see. It is good to learn your preferences. But, I should mention something. That type of love… uhhh… was not very… uhhh… sexual." Sousuke stiffened up a bit.

"Huh?" Kaname frowned. "Never mind then, Sousuke." Kaname had spoken quickly without thinking. She turned bright red.

"The woman often gave the knight a handkerchief that he would take into battle with him. He would fight with that cloth on his arm or tucked away somewhere safe." If he was correct, Kaname would flip flop again.

"Oooooh That's really romantic. If you go into battle again, don't forget to ask for something from me, OK?" Kaname's eyes lost focus. She pictured Sousuke riding away in a shiny suit of armor.

"Affirmative." Watching Kaname's face, he realized once again how different women were from men. "For a Spartan, to be captured was a disgrace. For the samurai, ritualistic suicide was something that they had perfected, and it was preferred above being captured, or being defeated. I wshould also mention the Knights Templar, the Poor Knights of Christfounded in in the aftermath of the First Crusade, intended to help the new Kingdom of Jerusalem maintain itself against its defeated Muslim neighbors." Sousuke stopped, looking at Kaname again. "Is this too much? Am I boring you?"

"Go ahead, Sousuke." Kaname sounded resigned. The glow of her romantic daydream faded away.

"The Knights Templar were the most effective fighting unit ever assembled by Christendom. They were forbidden to surrender in battle and often fought to the death. They never retreated unless given a direct order, an order that was never given unless outnumbered three to one**." **Sousuke felt no need to describe the interesting history of the Templars, or delve into the mysticism that surrounded them.

"I do _not_ hold to any of those ways myself. Nor do I feel compelled to follow the obligations placed on samurai and Spartans. But, up until now, I have prepared myself for battle in a way that would not appear strange to a Samurai. It was _their_ way."

"What way was that, Sousuke?" Kaname found herself entranced by Sousuke's voice. It was richer somehow, now that he was discussing something he was familiar with.

"The Samurai had a unique way of living. They lived as though dead, in order to increase their fighting awareness. While they wanted to live, it was impossible to go into battle with the fear of death hanging over their heads. Therefore, the Samurai adopted a way to get around this. They had no fear of death, as they were already dead." Sousuke watched Kaname's eyes. They widened. She put her hand to her mouth.

"Sousuke, if you go into battle thinking you are already dead, won't that keep you from fighting your hardest, so you can stay alive?" Kaname was having trouble understanding just what Sousuke meant.

"No, Kaname. Like myself, the samurai did not want to die. However, they were dedicated towards reaching their goals. If they died but did not reach their goals, it was acceptable. But if they did not reach their goals and lived, that was the mark of cowardice and shame. I am not _that _fanatical, I assure you." He stopped to let that point sink in.

Kaname looked somewhat relieved. She was surprised to find how tightly her hands had been clasped.

"For Samurai and Spartans, there was also an expectation of glory on the battlefield. Being remembered, and being looked up to after death, was a common goal for both cultures. The Spartans and Samurai both wanted to be honored by the living. Deserting or retreating was seen as cowardice, and unworthy of either warrior. To die in battle was the ultimate goal for both the Spartans and the Samurai… to be denied that was abhorrent. In contrast, I do not wish to die in battle. I care nothing for appearances. And before meeting you, I never cared whether or not anyone remembered me."

That last sentence had Kaname touching Sousuke's cheek tenderly.

"There is more I feel a need to explain, Kaname. But you said you had questions. Why don't you ask one now. You have been very patient with me." Sousuke wanted to keep Kaname involved in the conversation.

"Is being a soldier all you want in life, Sousuke? I know it has been everything that you have known since you were a young child. I just wonder..." Kaname didn't want to say anything that sounded judgmental, or made Sousuke think she didn't approve of the life he had lived. But, it was very important for her to get some idea of what he might see in his future.

"I am not certain, Kaname. As I mentioned, until recently, I never had much reason to consider that. Again, I beg your indulgence as I try to think things out for myself. I'm not boring you too much, am I?" He hoped that Kaname had greater staying power than she did as a Jindai student.

Much of the time he was still very quiet, holding to the philosophy that if something couldn't be said in a few words, it wasn't worth saying. But, as he matured, he began following a stream of consciousness that ran from a newly tapped wellspring within him---there were times when he wanted to discuss things he found interesting or important.

"Don't worry about me, Sousuke. It's an important question for both of us..." Kaname moved closer to Sousuke, kicked off her shoes, and swung her legs up onto the couch. "Is it OK if I lay down? With my head in your lap?"

"Uhhh… yes... certainly." Sousuke moved a bit, making things easier for Kaname. When she was settled, he rubbed her temples gently, watching her close her eyes and smile. "I have told you a little bit about my youth. The hardships I faced were not unlike those purposefully placed on young Spartans and Samurai. When I joined Mithril, I was briefly treated like I was a Squire. However, I was expected to be a knight before I was totally ready. It did not matter, however. In my early days, after the death of my parents, I merely took what life gave me, before circumstances forced me to move on."

Kaname reached up and clasped her hand around one of Sousuke's. She opened up her eyes and looked ahead of her, focusing lightly on the tiny and vague reflections on the far windows.

"Maybe it helped me become a better soldier. Spartan women did not bathe their newborn babies with water, but with wine, making it a sort of test of strength. They looked for the epileptic and sickly ones to lose control and go into convulsions. They believed that healthy ones would be toughened like steel and strengthened in their physique. The caretakers made certain to raise them as sensible, not fussy about their food, afraid of the dark, frightened of being left alone, or inclined to be unpleasantly awkward or whining_." _Sousuke looked down at kaname. She had closed her eyes.

"I'm still awake, Sousuke," Kaname said, guessing why he had paused.

"Understood. I should have known. There was no snoring."

"I do not snore!" Kaname's eyes were open again. She gave Sousuke a rather pointed look.

"A knight would do his best to believe such a thing." Sousuke managed not to grin. "Young Spartan children went barefoot and naked, and were given little to eat. This was to encourage them to forage for food on their own, or steal. If they were caught, their punishment was for getting caught, not for stealing. At twelve, their training became more intense. They were weighed down by hard work and continuous exercises. They were also trained in physical exercises, such as dancing, gymnastics, and ballgames. Their clothing was kept to a minimum-often they only received one set for both winter and summer." Sousuke yawned, and then excused himself.

Kaname followed suit, and then scolded him.

"My parents no doubt treated me well; but, once they died, my life was much like that of the Spartan youths, except that there was no dancing or ball games. I was thrown into battle early. The greater aptitude I showed, the more I was encouraged to do."

Kaname looked very sorrowful. "Your life was _so_ hard, Sousuke. I know mine was rough too; but, I feel guilty ever having felt sorry for myself after hearing _that_."

Sousuke squeezed Kaname's hand. "Young Samurai were also put through vigorous exercise to teach them to endure hardship. They fasted... marched barefoot in the snow... and maintained rigid postures for long periods of time. Even when doing leisure activities, such as playing a musical instrument or dancing, young samurai had to be constantly on guard. Like the Spartans, it was important that they did not complain or showing signs of discomfort. In the same way, my masters and teachers in the mujahideen were rough on me. They wanted me vigilant. They would have driven me away had I shown any signs of weakness."

Kaname began to understand how Sousuke could always be so alert. She wondered if that alertness carried over into his sleep. She also wanted to know whether or not his days in Mithril had allowed had him a chance to normalize in some ways? Did being in the college environment help?

"There are two stories I have quoted in my works. Would you like to hear them? They are illustrative." Sousuke stifled another yawn.

"Go ahead Sousuke. But if I actually do fall asleep, don't wake me up. I'm really tired." Kaname smiled and looked up at Sousuke. "I'm just kidding. Big idiot!"

"I see. The Spartans had a legend about how a boy who had snuck away to check a trap fo food, found a fox, and came back to camp only to discover that his commander had come to check on the group. Hiding the fox beneath his tunic, the boy came back to camp to take his punishment. The commander began to yell at him and give the boy a lecture. Meanwhile, the fox, which was still alive, had clawed into the boy's stomach, and was gnawing at the youth's innards. The boy gave no sign that anything was happening, and finally keeled over and died. He was praised posthumously when his elders discovered that he had ignored the pain." Sousuke smiled at the look on Kaname's face.

"That was horrible, Sousuke!" She sounded upset that he would even tell her such a tale.

"Affirmative. I learned to behave the same way after I was severely beaten once. The first time I was shot, I told no one. They found out when I passed out from a lack of blood." Sousuke wondered just how many of the hardships he had suffered had actually done right by him in the long run. Of course, without the life he had fallen upon, he probably never would have ended up a soldier benefiting from such skills.

Kaname remained quiet, wondering just what kind of memories must be flashing across Sousuke's mind.

"A Japanese story tells of a young swordsman who apprenticed himself to a famous fencing master. One day, while cooking rice, he was given a painful whack with a wooden sword by his master. This treatment was repeated at unexpected hours of the day and night, until the youth learned never to relax his guard and became the greatest swordsman in the land. I was treated severely when I let my guard down, so I made a habit of never doing it again." Sousuke caught a hand that Kaname was swinging towards him playfully, seeing if she could prove otherwise.

"Sousuke, you're going to hurt my feelings if you don't let me win now and then!" Kaname scowled, but couldn't keep it up.

"You need more training, Kaname" Sousuke moved a bit, trying to find a more comfortable way to sit.

"Do you need me to get up, Sousuke?" Kaname lifted her head after propping herself up on her arm.

"Negative. I'm used to discomfort, remember?" He knocked her arm out from under her. "And, I'm fine."

"Bully!" Kaname said with a laugh.

Sousuke's face went a little stiff, and then relaxed again.

"Sousuke?" Kaname had been looking at him. Why did his face suddenly change like that?

"My experiences as a child shaped me in many ways. No doubt you will realize that more and more as you spend time around me. But, after going through what I did, I was fortunate not to become brutal and uncaring. Instead, eventually, I grew determined to help others." Another insight came to mind. He decided to go with it before it slipped away. "I was not alone in my rough apprenticeship. Many young boys native to Afghanistan fought against the Soviet invasion. Many of those children were recruited, or fought because family members did. That was not he case with me. I needed food. I needed shelter. And I wanted to kill Russians. Maybe my need for vengeance was unusual for such a young age. But, it drove me to fight, and it left me scarred, physically and mentally. Some of what I do today might be a means to balance out what I did as a child."

Kaname opened her mouth and then closed it. She had been about to ask what kind of terrible things he could have done as a child. She decided that she didn't want to know, at least not yet.

"There are many children in the world that face terrible hardships." Sousuke's words came out in a husky emotion-filled voice. "Mithril has attempted to stabilize certain areas of the globe that serve as breeding grounds for terrorist recruits. It is not a purely altruistic approach. Despite such efforts, there are more than 300,000 child soldiers around the world today, fighting in places like Sierra Leone, Liberia, Congo, Sudan, Sri Lanka, Afghanistan, and Burma. In Uganda, among the 'Lord's Resistance Army', six out of ten fighters are children."

Kaname sat up again. It somehow didn't feel right to be relaxing comfortably when Sousuke brought up facts like those.

"Children are fearless, Kaname. They can be made more so with pharmaceuticals. They are also unpredictable, a characteristic that some heartless men find very useful. Children eat less and are easier to manipulate. Armies raid villages... kill parents... beat children... supply them with drugs. Some of the boys may actually survive. The girls, most of who are usually used for cooking and sexual slavery, usually do not." Sousuke remembered some of the scenes he saw fighting terrorists in Africa. Those too gave him sleepless nights. Worse, when there was no recourse, he had been forced to shoot children who had been attempting to do kill him and his allies.

That had been rough. Coming into a situation intending to help children, only to end up taking their lives, had resulted in considerable mental anguish. It might be worth thinking about a life beyond fighting, simply to avoid any more situations like that.

Kaname looked shocked. Her face fell. She couldn't imagine what it must be like to be a young woman in that culture.

"This is nota new thing, Kaname. Children fought as far back as David versus Goliath. Youths fought in the Crusades. In the battle of New Market in the American Civil War, boys of the Virginia Militia fought, held their ground, and won the day. The Hitler Youth fought for the homeland. The Viet Cong used small numbers of child soldiers. But, the problem is growing and becoming more far-reaching. Children are not simply abducted. Some join willingly, just for shoes or food. Hunger and poverty drive parents to sell their child's services. Daughters are sent to be soldiers when their marriage prospects are poor. I feels good to help people like that, Kaname." Sousuke sighed.

"I'm proud of you, Sousuke. Really, I am." Kaname scooted around some, then leaned over and gave Sousuke a kiss. "I just hope you understand that you can't save them all. No one can."

"Yes. You are right. In any case, when such children are set free from that horrible life, they do not go on to become soldiers like I did. The boys often wish to become priests. The girls want to become nurses." Sousuke sighed again.

"Sousuke, it's never too late to change, if you really want to. I hope you can understand that." Kaname rested her forehead against his briefly, praying that Sousuke would take her words to heart.

"I would like to believe that, Kaname. But, sometimes the choice is bigger than one person. I have unique skills. I am very good at what I do. Mithril has need of soldiers of my caliber, and pilots who can work the Lambda Driver system. The organization works for the good of mankind as a whole, and has prevented a number of serious catastrophes. I have been instrumental in a number of those victories. That's an awesome responsibility, Kaname."

Kaname looked at Sousuke, filled with mixed feelings. Her boyfriend was very noble, maybe too noble for his own good. What about her? Was she being selfish or arrogant, wanting to keep him safe and to herself? If her actions caused him to quit Mithril, would she be able to sleep soundly at night, knowing that somewhere people were suffering, and might not have had a better life if Sousuke were still a soldier?

Then again, wouldn't Mithril be able to find someone to replace him? She might not be so fortunate herself. It was entirely possible that she could search a lifetime, never finding someone else who made her feel the way that he did.

"But what do you want, Sousuke? If you could choose anything without guilt, what would you feel happiest doing?" Kaname spoke very softly. The answer might not change anything, but it would be important to her. "Just because you were raised like the samurai and Spartans were, it doesn't mean that you have to spend your entire life living the way they did. They are all gone. So are the knights. Things change, Sousuke."

"I realize that, Kaname. As I also understand that different men belief different things." Sousuke ran his hand through his hair. "For me, But, the ideals embraced by Bushido and Chivalry still have a place today. There were things that were common to both."

"What were those things, Sousuke?" Kaname didn't want him to think that she was bored or disinterested. He had sat patiently with her while she told him her life story.

"It is important to be loyal to one's lord. It is right to strive for justice. One should also Value honor, and honor bravery It is good to control oneself and have patience; build up one's courage and cultivate one'sfighting spirit; and broaden one's mind.As it stands, Mithril is my lord, Kaname."

Kaname sat quietly. It was wonderful to see how Sousuke's mind worked. It was reassuring to see just how strong his character was. But, she was feeling more worried by the minute. Could Sousuke ever let go? Or might he instead find some way to apply those same principles in the civilian world?

"Kaname, when I was brought into the organization, I pledged it my life, because it gave me a life. I realize that I may have paid my debts, in a sense. But, can I possibly do as much good as an average person, as I can as a mercenary?"

Kaname opened her mouth to say 'yes.' She didn't. First of all, she didn't know to answer the question honestly. Second, Sousuke obviously needed to finish what he was trying to say.

"Doing one's duty… that was the linchpin for both Bushido and Chivalry.For me, a pivotal question remains. What is my duty? Can you tell me that, Kaname?" Sousuke looked troubled. He was obviously torn between two drastically different lives. There was no way that the issue could be resolved in one evening.

"It looks like you have a lot of thinking to do, Sousuke. I want you to promise that you will tell me the answers you come up with. I know we have only been going together for a couple of days; but, the things you decide on will affect me too. I also have a big decision to make." Kaname stretcthed, and then looked Sousuke directly in the eyes. "You still haven'tanswered my question. What would make you the happiest?" She stood up and walked over to the window, wanting to give Sousuke some space.

Looking down at his hands, Sousuke sat silently for a few minutes, the thoughts whirling about in his head. 'Want' and 'happiness' had been foreign terms to him throughout much of his life. But, distinct images came to mind. He saw Kaname. Kaname smiling. Kaname safe, smiling,and happy.

"I would be happiest being with you, Kaname, if that was what you wanted, and if that truly made you happy." Sousuke looked up at Kaname. She had blown her breath out, frosting the window. "I would not be happy I held you back in some way, or prevented you from meeting someone who was the perfect match for you."

Kaname didn't answer. She sketched a quick heart on the window.

Sousuke wondered if he had somehow betrayed himself, his code, or Mithril, by making such an admission. He watched asKaname blew on the window again to highlight her drawing. After doing so, she then headed towards Sousuke.

"You sure can talk a lot, Sousuke." She smiled. His honest answer had made her feel very good. "But I'll keep you just the same."

"Kaname?"

"Yes, Sousuke?"

"I am left with a need to consider the future. What about you? Have you considered what you need, or what you want?" Sousuke stretched out his arms, and then moved one to loosen up his tight shoulder

Kaname was very glad that Sousuke had asked that question. It was something she had wanted to talk about. And, it gave her reason to think that he was going to start thinking more about the future. "Yes Sousuke, I've thought about things a lot, even before I ran across a certain soldier again. On some days I used to get all full of energy, thinking about the things I want to do and be. On other days, when I felt down or discouraged, I thought about the things I didn't have, and wondered if I would ever have such things."

Sousuke put his arm around Kaname when she sat next to him on the couch.

"There are a lot of things that I worry about, and there are a number of things to look forward to." Kaname picked up her legs for a moment, and then swung around so that she was facing Sousuke. "At the University, I need to worry about my course of study, and how I'm doing in my classes. I also need to think about the kind of job I want to have some day. That leads to more questions."

"Where your job would be?" Sousuke asked.

"Yes. That might or might not be a moot point, depending on how many job interviews I get, and how man offers I receive. But before I can even decide what kind of job I want, there is something else I have to consider." Kaname looked at Sousuke a bit wistfully, and then brought her knees up to her chest and hugged them. "I want to be a mother some day. I think I might like to have a number of children. I would want to give them the good things that I had as a child."

Sousuke felt a bit uneasy. He had never given much thought to having his own children. There had never been any woman other than Kaname who had even gotten him to think about relationships. Did he want to have children? Could he ever live up the responsibilities that a father had? What exactly were all the responsibilities?

Kaname watched as Sousuke turned pensive. She correctly predicted his thoughts. "Have you ever thought about having children Sousuke? If you were as dedicated to your family as you have been to Mithril, you might make a very good father."

"It was never anything I had reason to contemplate, Kaname. At times, however..." Sousuke's gaze seemed distant. "When I have rescued young children in the past, some have been very much in need. Others were very happy, and expressed their joy by wanting me and the other soldiers to take care of them. At those times..." Sousuke had felt something stir inside him in the past, but he had never known what to make of it.

Kaname smiled. There was a good heart inside Sousuke. She was certain of it. But, just what depths of emotion would Sousuke be capable of, considering all he had gone through in his life? How would his terrible life as a child affect the way he behaved as a parent? Would he be an overly protective parent?

She also wondered just what kind of mother she would be. That thought suddenly seemed more relevant, sitting there talking with Sousuke. "Well, it looks like you have another thing to think about. And you thought school was hard." Kaname laughed. "I guess life is just one big school, in a way. But, the teacher doesn't always tell you what the expectations are, and there can be a test at any moment." She grew a bit more solemn. "The assignments are very hard sometimes, Sousuke. And the grading isn't always fair, is it?"

"No. But nobody ever said they would be." Sousuke sighed. "It looks like I have a lot of extra studying to do." He looked out of his window again. The city vista seemed to stretch on forever.

Kaname reached over and tugged on his pants leg. "It's a group assignment, Sousuke. You can have as many people help you with it as you like. Want a study partner?"

Sousuke turned back to look at Kaname. "Yes." It was an honest answer. That in itself taught him something. For some reason, he felt like lightening the mood some. He knew exactly what to say. "I suppose need to go about finding one. Perhaps if I post a note on the campus bulletin board..." He rubbed his chin.

"Sousuke."

"I do know where I can find four partners. However, they may be a bit angry after today's competition." Sousuke expected Kaname to say _'Sousuke!'_

_"Sousuke!"_ Kaname switched positions, moving so that she was now perched on her knees.

"It would probably be simpler to choose one of them. Would you help me with that, Kaname? I trust your judgment." Sousuke kept a straight face. What would Kaname do, besides shouting? Smack him in the leg? Hug him and laugh? Make some kind of sarcastic rejoinder?

"**SOUSUKE!**" Kaname leaned over and bit Sousuke's leg lightly.

_"Owwwww."_ Sousuke closed his eyes in mock pain. "It looks like I will now need the attention of the hospital staff. Human bites are potentially more dangerous than animal bites due to the number of bacteria in the human mouth. Streptococci. Staphylococci. Anaerobic organisms. Eikenella corrodens. Other pathogenic species. No doubt, I will be given anti-biotics." He looked down at Kaname as if he were examining her. "At times over the past few days, you have behaved wildly and erratically. I may also nead to consider a rabies vaccine."

"Rabies vaccine?" Kaname got to her feet. "Oooh. That was just a love bite." She smiled. "But, if you're concerned, part of the treatment would be to wash the wound with soap and water under pressure. Like from a faucet... or a strong shower..." She sat next to him and whispered in his ear. "Want a _real_ shower this time, soldier?"

Sousuke swallowed hard. His nonverbal answer was somewhere between 'maybe' and 'yes.' While the two of them were in the middle of an important conversation, there was a part of him part of him that wanted to play serious romantic games with Kaname, regardless of his discomfort with such things. "Uhhh... that sounds like a nice idea. Can I have a rain check? I believe the wound is not as severe as I originally feared."

Kaname had only been playing; but, Sousuke's answer suddenly made her consider the idea for real. She blushed, picturing herself in the shower with Sousuke. "Yes. It will be redeemable whenever you are ready. But, it's only good for the shower in the other room, Sousuke."

"I see. Very good. It _is_ a very nice shower." Sousuke cleared his throat. "What other things have you considered, Kaname? Besides school, work, and raising a family…"

"Romance, of course. That, and a long term serious relationship. That's what would lead to my having a family, right?" Kaname looked more serious, now. "I would like to find the right man. There is someone I'm interested in, but I still need to find out what he wants, and whether or not it makes sense to take a chance on him." She felt guilty putting things that way. He cared about her. Probably more than he had cared about anyone in his life. But, that by itself wouldn't be enough. There were more things to say, and they would give him more information to squirrel away.

"I see. He must be a very fortunate man." Sousuke did indeed feel fortunate, almost humble. He did not want to develop a strong attachment to Kaname and get her hopes up, only to realize that his life did not have a place for her, her wants, and her needs. It was easy to get caught up in the moment. He needed to start thinking, not just reacting.

"Some people wouldn't be so sure," Kaname said, bowing her head. "But, whatever people might think about me, I don't want to end up like a gypsy. I want to have a home some day, one I can work on together with my husband. I want a place where we can raise a family, without moving from town to town, or base to base. I would not want to always be saying 'Good bye' to my friends."

Kaname truly hoped that her wish would come true, some day. So may of her other dreams had fallen through.

"You deserve stability, Kaname. It would appear that you would wish for someone who is usually at home, even though you have done well on your own."

"Yes. I've done well on my own, Sousuke." Kaname bit her lip. "But, I really haven't had any other choice. When the day comes when I _do_ have options, I want to be certain that I choose wisely. Don't get me wrong. I understand that someone has to make sacrifices so that other people can remain free. I'm not certain that I want to be the one making such a sacrifice."

Sousuke nodded his head. There was a reason that few members on the SRT were married or had children.

"It's a high price to pay, a very hard life. I've already lived one of those, Sousuke. I've had enough bad times in my life. My Mother. All the moving I had to do. Being Whispered. Everything. It's a tragic thing, dying for one's country, or for the sake of the world. But, I think that it would be more tragic to live without someone who died." Kaname looked at Sousuke with a great deal of concern. She didn't want him to feel that she was some how rejecting him now, before they ever had a chance to see where their relationship might go.

"I can understand that, Kaname. It is good to know how you feel." Sousuke rubbed his hand over his cheek.

"I hope you don't think less of me Sousuke, seeing everything that you have been through yourself. I just want to be able to know what school my children will be going to each year. I want someone who can go to see the school plays, concerts, and sporting events. I want someone who will be there for the birth of those children, and for birthdays and anniversaries." Kaname squared her shoulders. It was right to want those things.

"I think very highly of you, Kaname. Nothing you have said has changed my opinion of you."

"I'm glad to hear that. I don't think I'm being too selfish or demanding. When I buy furniture, I don't want to wonder if it will fit in the next apartment, or whether it will survive traveling. I don't want to buy different size drapes and curtains ever year or so." Kaname realized that she had tugging at her hair.

"There are few things that would cause me to lose faith in you, or see you in a different light." Sousuke thought a moment, wanting to find the right words. "I have already told you that I would die for you. If my current feelings are any indication, it may be that I would also wish to live for you."

"Sousuke?" Kaname wasn't certain exactly what she had heard at first. Soon enough, she broke into a big smile, realizing what Sousuyke must mean. She was moved to kiss Sousuke again.

"I will ask you a favor, though." Sousuke reluctantly pushed Kaname back so he could see her face.

"What favor, Sousuke?"

"We both have numerous things to discover, and many things to consider. I would ask you to be patient with me. I would also you to spend your time with me looking for nothing more than the single purpose of the present moment." Sousuke looked at Kaname intensely. He wanted their relationship to grow without a series of preset boundaries. He wanted to learn as much as he could about her, without feeling bound by preconceived expectations.

Kaname understood what Sousuke meant. It was a wise and mature request, one that might prove difficult for her. She was very much on edge, subconsciously needing all of her answers sooner not later. That was part of her nature. But, just as Sousuke had ways in which he needed to change to be right for her, there were ways in which she would have to change too.

_If she rushed things, she might push Sousuke away, or arrive at the wrong conclusion._

"I will try, Sousuke. I will do my best for you, just as you have always done your best for me."

Sousuke nodded. He looked relieved.

"I have a question, first. I've heard romantic stories about the way knights and their ladies lived. But, what kind of lives did Spartan women have? What was it like to be a samurai's wife?" Kaname put her arms behind her neck and stretched her back, not doing so to tease Sousuke this time.

"Uhhh..." Sousuke lost track of the question for a few seconds. "I do not think that you would have enjoyed being a Spartan woman, Kaname." Sousuke eyed her a moment longer, waiting to see if she would go through her stretching again.

Kaname blushed. "Behave, Sousuke." She grinned. She certainly didn't mind his attention. "What was wrong with being a Spartan's wife?"

"A girl's education was equally as brutal as a boy's and included many athletic events such as javelin, discus, foot races, and staged battles. In many such events, Spartan women would run naked in the presence of their male counterparts. They were respected for their… uhhh… athletic feats." Sousuke looked away from Kaname.

"Really? If I did that, would you respect me for my athletic feats?" Kaname stretched again, this time with a much different purpose in mind.

"Uhhh... yes... that too..." Sousuke couldn't help looking. He scolded himself. A Specialist should have _some_ level of control.

"Well then, maybe being a Spartan wouldn't be so bad." She put her hands down on the couch, pushed down, and slid closer to Sousuke.

"Ahhh. I am not so certain. Marriage for a Spartan woman was almost a non-ceremonial event. The woman was abducted in the night by her suitor... her head was shaved... she was made to wear men's clothing...and she was made to lie on a straw pallet in the dark. From then on she would meet with her husband for almost entirely... uhhh... procreative reasons. If she was formerly a girl, she became a woman through marriage." Sousuke grinned at the look on Kaname's face. When she put her hand to her hair, Sousuke smiled.

"Hmmmpppfff!" Kaname turned her head away.

"Any Spartan man could abduct a wife, which led to a system of polyandry. There could be many husbands and one wife, or just the opposite. When a child was born, the woman had little to do with the upbringing. Rather, nurses handled the child's care. A female Spartan child was subject to the same tests of strength as a male child."

"A woman could have a number of men?" Kaname smiled widely, hoping to send a small jolt of jealousy through Sousuke.

"Affirmative. A man could have more than one wife. Though, it was not such a pleasant life, like that of a sultan with his harem." Sousuke could play the same game. His jab had more sting, given the day's events.

""What?" Kaname made a rather sour face. "No Spartan stuff!"

"Affirmative," Sousuke said. "The samurai class did not consist solely of men. Though frequently overlooked in history books, women had an important role during the samurai period, particularly in the early days. Samurai wives took on the responsibilities of running the households during times of war, overseeing the crops, servants, and finances."

"That's probably why there were samurai for so many years!" Kaname looked at Sousuke, daring him to claim otherwise.

"You are correct, Kaname." Sousuke waited until Kaname put on a self-satisfied grin. "Without women, how could there ever have been future samurai?"

Kaname turned head away from Sousuke. Big jerk! It wouldn't hurt him any to admit thatwomen were important, too.

"The women were trained in martial arts, and were expected to be skilled in the use of the _naginata,_ a type of lance. Not infrequently, samurai women defended their homes when under attack. Sometimes they even fought alongside the men in battle. One of the most famous female warriors was Tomoe Gozen, wife of Minamoto Yoshinaka. She fought bravely against the Taira clan during the Gempei War and was hailed as a gifted archer and swordswoman." Sousuke wondered how Kaname would respond to that.

An idea crossed his mind, one he would store away until a more appropriate time. There was a way that he and Kaname could spend time together. Kaname could learn practical means of defense, and he could keep his skills sharp.

"I see. Is _that_ the kind of woman you want, mister? A warrior woman?" Kaname crossed her arms over her chest.

"It is not a necessity, Kaname. Women have many skills. I would not be averse to having a woman who complimented my skills through other talents." Sousuke wanted to make certain he didn't leave Kaname with any misconceptions.

"I see. Fishing for compliments, are you?" Kaname flattened her lips.

"No. That is not what I meant..." Sousuke answered before he realized that Kaname was playing with words.

"I know. I just wanted you to see who was more clever, that's all." Kaname held her nose up.

"Ahhh. Well I've never had any doubt of that." Sousuke's inflection turned things around some. "Because you are so attractive, I have given you certain allowances."

"Allowances?" Kaname's eyes narrowed. "Well, let's talk about the things that I am going to allow you to do. Big idiot."

"I see. I have upset you. Now is not the time to speak about something I had hoped to interest you in." Sousuke stood up. He picked up the two empty glasses. "Would you like something more to drink, Kaname?"

Kaname ignored the offer. "What were you going to interest me in, Sousuke?"

"It is not important, Kaname. I do not wish to have my allowances limited even further." Sousuke grinned.

_"Sousuke!"_ Kaname stood up.

"It is nothing weird. Nothing dangerous. But, you probably would not wish to do it. It probably is best to left it unsaid. Would you like something to snack on? Fruit, perhaps?" Sousuke turned as if he was about to carry the glasses down to the kitchen.

"What... were...you... going...to...ask... me..." Kaname's one hand twitched. It was the hand that she used to hold her halisen in.

"I attend a martial arts class a number of nights per week. It would be simple enough to teach another person the skills that I have obtained. Additionally, I visit a shooting range routinely. While I maintain my proficiency, I could also take time to teach a anyone who might be interested." He looked at Kaname, realizing that he very much wanted her take him up on at least one offer.

Kaname stood still, hit first by the sheer otaku nature of the idea. What made that moron think that she wanted to do learn any of those things? But, as she opened her mouth to make some flippant reply, she remembered that she wanted to find things to do with Sousuke.

There might be a pragmatic way to consider things as well. She was Whispered. While she hadn't been troubled by anyone in three years, her good fortune could potentially turn at any time.

"That's a very nice offer, Sousuke. I may well take you up on that. As your guest, I would ask you to consider my own offer for training first." Kaname reached down to the table and opened up her purse.

"Kaname?"

"You need work on your kissing." Kaname took out a small applicator. "Do you like flavored lip balm?"


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: This chapter will contain R-rated mature scenes. Those offended by such material or not wishing to read those kinds of scenes are asked to skip ahead to the next chapter.  
**  
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Kaname woke slowly, without the horrendous pulsing wail of her alarm.

It was Saturday. Not just any Saturday. _The_ Saturday.

It wasn't a holiday. She hadn't written anything on the downstairs calendar that she and Sousuke shared. There was nothing special going on at school. As far as anyone else would be concerned, it was nothing more than a normal day.

She folded her plush robe over her pajamas. The warmth was wonderful and the materials had her shivering with tactile pleasure. Sousuke had seen her dress like this before, so it shouldn't raise an eyebrow. If it did Too bad!

Padding down the stairs eagerly, she caught the unmistakable odor of coffee. Not just coffee . Something smelled unbelievably good. That big idiot must have made her breakfast again. If he had, he was going to get a big kiss. Maybe even without the robe.

Kaname would keep the pajamas on, of course. She needed to retain some degree of decorum. Until tonight!_  
_  
Her anticipation was the only thing stronger than her hunger. If she started to salivate when she entered the dining area, she wouldn't be certain what the cause was. Sousuke had better NOT do anything to mess this up! If he did, he wouldn't have to worry about his future any more.

Kaname smiled as she ran her hand along the polished mahogany banister. It had become an old friend, something she took note of consistently ever since she had moved in. Every morning for the past two months, she had looked at her reflection in its mirror-like surface; marveled at the exquisite carvings on the support poles; and slid her hand along it for its entire length.

Moving day. Now _there_ was a memory.She had spent a number of weeks agonizing over her decision. There had been a number of good reasons why she preferred her old apartment, and why it might be best for her to stay there. But, the allure of Sousuke's building... not to mention the attraction of Sousuke himself... had finally won her over.

That big lunkhead had told her not to worry. He had arranged to have movers do all of the work for her. They did. Very professionally. _Too_ professionally!

They had been more than movers. Many of the men had worked for a high-priced security firm. Each and every item of hers had been handled, examined, and tested where necessary. When she had walked into to check on their progress, she found a huge sweaty hirsute man waving a rod-like piece of equipment over one of her fancy bras. It's a rare day when a man like that is shocked by the words coming out of a girl's mouth.

At least they had gotten everything packed, loaded, and delivered in one piece.

When the men had been waiting in the lobby of her new building, that's when the fun really started. The foreman asked where they should carry her things. She led them to her chosen room. Kaname had not gone over her choice with Sousuke. She didn't pick the largest room, or the one with the most amenities. The one she selected was comfortable. It had a quaint charm. There was a beautiful view off of a spacious balcony. It was perfect.

Sousuke had vetoed the idea. "Too close to the fire escape. The primary armory is located one floor below. The building next door has a room on the same level."

Instead of arguing, Kaname went on to her next pick, a nice corner room with wonderful antique fixtures and a hand-painted mural. She could feel like royalty in such a room. That choice was vetoed as well. "The ventilation is bad. The building across the avenue has a low roof, ideal for listening posts, a microwave emitter array, or a sniper's blind. The tallest trees top out above balcony level."

Grumbling something fierce, she had moved onto her third choice. In some ways, it was the nicest of the lot. It was a series of rooms, actually. A nice living area led to a bedroom, a separate sitting area, and a convenient little kitchenette. Again, Sousuke had a litany of things to comment on.

"That's fine. If all of _my_ choices are bad Sousuke, I'll just move in with _you_. I'll be safe that way. But a girl needs constancy. You'll have to sleep in the same room _every_ night." The move she gave him with her hip had caused one workman to drop a lamp. Sousuke acquiesced. Finally, the movers had been able to finish their job.

Kaname clenched her teeth, just thinking about it all. That better be one heck of a breakfast!

She almost ran into the kitchen. Sousuke wasn't there. Passing through the swinging door into the dining area, she saw a single place setting on the table. Coffee. Juice. Rice. Eggs. Natto. Ham. Miso soup. And a note. Feeling a sense of dread, Kaname read the scribbled writing:

_Kaname  
Called into work. Emergency construction issue.  
Miss you.  
Back by lunch (hope).  
Sousuke.  
_  
Great! Just great! Every time he wrote 'back by lunch,' he was back by dinner. Why today?_  
_  
Sousuke's work-related responsibilities were growing daily, as the building repair work reached crucial stages regarding internal and external security systems. Kaname knew that he had to be at the Lab when his expertise was needed. It was why he was in Tokyo, after all. That latter fact was the only thing that prevented her from cursing the Cold Fusion Project loudly and frequently.

_Today was the exception_.

She had painstakingly planned everything out. The day before, she had told Sousuke that she had arranged a special morning, afternoon, and evening for the two of them. They would take a nice walk. They would spend some time at the shooting range. There was a military bookstore that Sousuke liked, and she wanted to see it. There was a lingerie shop she always wanted to visit, and she wanted to bring Sousuke in with her. She had picked out a nice restaurant for lunch, and had planned on making a very nice dinner for him.

If Sousuke made it home in time for lunch, they could still do all of the things she had chosen. If he was much later than that, the whole day would be shot. If that happened, she would have to choose another night.

Damn that job of his! When she calmed down enough to eat, Kaname sat down at the table and ate the breakfast that Sousuke had prepared. Despite her mood, she had no choice but to smile. It was all very good. The cooking lessons she had given him had paid off.

Washing down the last of the ham with a sip of juice, she thought about Sousuke's security position. He was committed to say at the University for as long as he was needed. It would be months at the minimum, and that had her feeling somewhat relieved. If the scientific project continued to show success, he could be there for years in different capacities. That would be wonderful.

Pushing her eggs around her plate absentmindedly, she smiled, thinking about the week before. Sousuke had made a difficult decision, and went in to speak to Tessa and Lt. Cmdr. Kalinin. In no uncertain terms, he had said that he wanted to remain where Kaname was.

She had been so proud when she heard that. He had kissed her goodbye... driven off in a white van... and flown off to Da Danaan. After a series of deliberations, he returned home with good news. It may not have been all that she had hoped for, but she had made her own decisions after a lot of thought. She was willing to compromise.

Sousuke would be based in Tokyo, no matter what project or team he was assigned to. He would not be pulled away for routine missions. He would make himself available for crucial operations and emergency situations. He would remain part of the Mithril, even if his attachment to the Advanced Research Lab was no longer necessary and he went on to find civilian employment.

Mithril would help him find a job that gave him the necessary allowances. Furthermore, the mercenary group had already done him a large favor. One of the major reasons he had been assigned to duty at colleges was to allow him a chance to further his education.

They were looking out for one of their ownKaname had to admit that there were benefits to Sousuke's continued membership with that secret group. Those benefits did _not_ extend to today, however.

When she had finished cleaning the table, Kaname went upstairs to use her favorite shower. She spent a long time there, enjoying the luxurious comforts. Her thoughts traveled back to the night before, when she had spent a pleasant evening with Kyouko, Ren, and Maya. She had met up with them on the Rikkyo campus after her last class was done, and they had then strolled together to a nice bistro.

There had been a lot of catching up to do. She had the biggest news of them all. Sousuke.

They were all surprised to hear that she had run across him again, and that he was well. Part of the excuse that had taken him away from Jindai had focused on health issues. She assured them all that he was fine, and shocked them further by telling them that they were dating. Her attitude towards Sousuke had been rather apparent after he had left, and the girls never though that she would speak to him again.

"How's Sousuke in bed?" Maya had asked with a chuckle at one point.

"She probably doesn't know," Kyouko had quipped. "Sousuke sleeps _under_ the bed."

Everybody but Kaname had laughed. Each of the other girls were involved in intimate relationships, and that made Kaname feel somewhat jealous.

"He sleeps in a bed, now." She had said, feeling a need to stand up for Sousuke, even though Kyouko hadn't actually been bad-mouthing him. "But, we haven't slept together... yet"

Saying that last part had made her feel bad, almost as if she were a failure.

"You know, they _do_ make manuals for that kind of thing." Ren had been trying to be helpful, not make a joke.

"That's true. But do you really want to hear him quoting things between every nibble or caress?" Maya had started laughing again, but Kyouko and Ren both realized how upset Kaname was. It was obviously a sore point with her.  
After that, Kaname had decided that she had waited long enough. There was no reason for her to hold back, given the good news that Sousuke had reported. She had been more than ready physically, finding it harder and harder to not to pounce on Sousuke when he said certain things or touched her in certain spots.

Her fantasies just didn't cut it any more. But, she knew that Sousuke wouldn't make the first move.

That's why it was up to her._  
_  
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Kaname managed to lift her spirits. She would proceed with her plan, as if Sousuke was going to be home by lunch time.

Having done some cleaning, she turned her hand to decorating.

She had already done a great deal of work throughout the various parts of the building. To her eye, it looked like a home, not just some building that she lived in. Under a merciless barrage of hugs and kisses, Sousuke had admitted that her efforts made him very happy.

This morning, however, her work would be limited to one room. Her bedroom. She had a particular goal in mind, and wanted to get things just right. A few weeks earlier, she had commissioned a number of objects. They were needed today.

Holding a number of large parchment wrapped packages, Kaname felt somewhat silly. With all of her complaints about Sousuke's otaku nature and his military furnishings, she had decided to do something that might catch Sousuke's fancy. She hoped that Sousuke wouldn't consider her idea silly or tacky.

She thought back to the talk that the two of them had in the sitting area. Sousuke had talked about knights and other things. She had gone on to read both of Sousuke's essays, marveling at his skill as a writer. Sousuke had also gone on to tell her a number of heraldic tales, including some that originated with King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table.

After doing some research into heraldry and coats of arms, she commissioned a number of hanging tapestries. They had arrived earlier in the week. She had also gone on a shopping expedition, picking up some attractive candles, a beautiful quilted bedcover with Medieval styling, and a number of fanciful paintings depicting courtly scenes.

She had invested a lot of time and money on her whim, but she wanted to express her love for Sousuke in a way that words couldn't do. In return, she hoped that he would show his appreciation in a very intimate and physical way.

For a moment, Kaname chuckled, thinking dark thoughts. She wondered if she should have purchased a headsman's axe, to show him her displeasure in no uncertain terms, should he do something to let her down. No. That big military idiot might end up appreciating the weapon most of all! Big jerk!

Packages clasped to her breast, she smiled when she looked at a plaque hanging on her wall. It was beautifully engraved and mounted on an expensive hardwood base. Sousuke had given it to her one evening, in order to commemorate a special event. She had been overwhelmed by both his generosity and his sense of humor. She chuckled after reading the words:

_In honor of Kaname Chidori  
Steward of Defense  
Sagara House  
Tokyo, Japan_

That man of hers had gotten it made to celebrate her final victory over the harem girls. They had been annoyingly persistent, even to the point of following Sousuke home, demanding entrance to the building.

Kaname had taken matters into her own hand. She had been ready to use tear gas or a number of concussion grenades. In the end, the high pressure fire hose kept coiled up in the lobby sufficed. Yes. She treasured that plaque for a number of reasons.

As for _her_ bevy of unwanted suitors, they had made themselves scarce after word went around about the affair at the fountain. Kaname smiled, thinking back to that day.

When she finished unwrapping, she marveled at the wonderful workmanship of the tapestries she had ordered. The fabric was worked in the same manner that the actual period material would have been. The dye job was magnificent. She couldn't help but smile at the device she had settled on.

Wistfully, Kaname shook her head. The things she would do for love! She had spent a lot of time reading, and a fair amount of time on the internet, all of which had to be done in the library, to keep it secret from a certain soldier. She knew more about heraldic devices than she ever wanted to.

A heraldic picture is called an 'emblazon'. The heraldic palette consist of seven basic 'tinctures': white or silver, referred to as Argent... blue, referred to as Azure... red, referred to as Gules... yellow or gold, referred to as Or... purple, referred to as Purpure... black, referred to as Sable... and green, referred to as Vert. There were also rare colors, such as sky-blue, brown, cinder-grey, mulberry, pink, and dark blood-red.

A shield or flag usually consists of a 'field' or background, on which one or more distinct 'charges', or objects, are placed. The blazon of such a shield describes the field first, and then the charges.

The field could be one color, or multiple, divided in various manners. An 'ordinary' is a charge that consists of one or more strips of some tincture which cover large areas of the shield. Every side of an ordinary is either straight, or parallels a curved edge of the shield.  
There were one-edged ordinaries; two-edged ones; and special sub-ordinaries. A pattern with one color bordering the shield and another forming the center was called a 'bordure'. 'Roundels' were small circular areas of color, with a yellow one called a bezant. She had selected a four-limbed charge, and that meant she had to consider the ways in which such forms can be depicted, known as 'postures'. She had considered 'rampant' or rearing... 'salient', or leaping... 'sejant erect', or sitting upright... and 'sejant affrontry', a sejant viewed from the front, so the belly of the creature is fully visible

She had settled on 'sejant erect affrontry', a posture where the charge is sitting upright with the forelegs upraised and spread wide. She chose a Vert field, because of Sousuke's uniform color. She chose a rim of Or roundels, as they reminded her of the base of a cartridge. The rim color was Sable, to remind them both of the dark days they had spent apart. She chose Gules for the charge, because of her love for Sousuke.

As for the precise shape of the charge, Kaname had the craftsman make a representation of an Arm Slave picture she had sent them. The final device was 'Vert, an Arm Slave sejant erect affrontry gules and on a bordure sable a semy of roundels Or.'

_Quite a mouthful_.

After a few minutes of trail and error, Kaname had the tapestries hung. Looking at the fruits of her efforts, she felt warm inside. It truly had been a labor of love. While she might not keep the items hanging in her room for too long, they would make a nice decoration in Sousuke's study some day.

"I hope this is a night to remember," she whispered, as she put away her tools and the wrappings from her purchases. She grimaced when she told herself she already had a knight to remember.

Now, it was up to Sousuke.

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Just as the last of the refuse slid down the garbage chute, Sousuke walked in.

Kaname had looked very guilty, causing Sousuke to ask if something was wrong. Her first reaction had been to tell him not to go into her bedroom for any reason. Luckily, she clamped her mouth shut in time. It would not be wise to raise his suspicions.

She had found herself crossing her fingers, praying that the big idiot wouldn't find any reason to examine the trash down in the basement. While most people couldn't make anything out of the random wrappers and sales slips, there was no telling what an overly observant Specialist might do!

As it turned out, Sousuke was not only finished early, but was also done for the day. Hearing that, Kaname literally dragged him out of the front door.

_Everything was back on track._

Because Sousuke had been gone for a better part of the morning, Kaname told him that they could save their walk in the park for another day. It made sense to visit the bookshop first... walk over to a nearby café afterwards... and then take a train over to the shooting range.

The bookshop had looked deceptively small from the outside. Kaname was relieved. While she wanted to spend a day doing the things that Sousuke liked, she dreaded the though of spending any lengthy time waiting as Sousuke peered through endless stacks and shelves of books.

Walking into the front door, she was flabbergasted. Not only did the store stretch two units to the rear, but every available bit of space was crammed with books. It had to be a fire code violation! If that wasn't bad enough, Sousuke informed her that there was a loft and a small basement. Trying to be a good trooper, she smiled and told Sousuke to take his time.

He correctly read her eyes and told her 'thank you,' and then promised her that he wouldn't be more than an hour. Kaname had twitched repeatedly. An hour!

Like a bee visiting successive flowers, a cheerful Sousuke went from one section to the other.  
After skimming over a rack of _New Arrivals_, he moved on to the General section. From there, he moved from Ancient Warfare to the Medieval section, and then on to a loft filled with books on Japanese Military History. Next, he spent a fair amount of time browsing through the titles in the Renaissance area, followed by some browsing amongst the Horse & Musket shelves. Seeing that Kaname was growing glassy-eyed, he asked her if she was ready for lunch after he had skimmed over the books on the Napoleonic Wars and other Nineteenth Century topics.

"No, Sousuke. I'm alright. You spent a lot of time with me in the clothing stores last weekend. This is your special time. Tonight will be mine_."_ She had been yawning when she spoke. She almost bit her tongue when her jaws snapped shut. She had said too much.

"Kaname?" Sousuke had picked up on her last statement.

"Finish looking at whatever you like, Sousuke. After that, I'll treat you to a nice lunch. You bought last time." She counted her blessings when the strong lure of the books reeled Sousuke back in.

Kaname followed after her boyfriend as he went from books on the Colonial period to publications dealing with revolutions and civil wars from around the globe. She started to drag again when he walked through aisles dedicated to the First and Second World Wars. After visiting the Ladies' Room, she found a chair to sit in while he pondered possible purchases on the Korean War, Vietnam War, Falklands War, and other 20th Century conflicts.

Before making his way to the cashier, Sousuke brought the books over to show Kaname.

One was "The Confident Hope of a Miracle: the Real History of the Spanish Armada" by Neil Hanson. He excitedly told her that it was a breathtaking overview of one of the most fascinating campaigns in European history, beginning with the execution of Mary Queen of Scots, the event that precipitated the launching of the Armada.

"Marvelous," Kaname said. It wasn't something that she would put on her reading list, but Sousuke had a huge smile on his face.

She was just as enthusiastic when he showed her "The Crimean War: a Reappraisal" by Philip Warner. Naturally, she hadn't known that the book discussed lessons learned by the British army, in addition to the military actions made necessary by the difficult conditions encountered during the campaign. Sousuke was only slightly disappointed that she had never heard anything about the Charge of the Light Brigade and other famous disasters.

The last book had Kaname sitting upright in her seat, banging her crown on the fire extinguisher hanging over her head. It was "The Triumphant Kinght, the High Middle Ages 1314-1485: Story of the Knight in the 14th and 15th centuries" by Stephen Turnbull.

The Triumphant Knight! Was that bit of coincidence a favorable portent?

"Kaname, what's wrong?" Sousuke had asked, concerned. She told him that she had developed a sharp pain in her leg. That had Sousuke insisting that they take a cab home immediately, but Kaname managed to fend him off.

His bag in one hand and Kaname's arm around his other arm, Sosuke walked with her to the café after he had paid for his purchase. Asking him to order for them both, Kaname was happy just to lean against him, drinking in the smell of his cologne. She wanted to see how well he knew her tastes. He was spot on. For himself he chose Grilled Chicken on Teppan-Yaki Mashed Potatoes with Honey Oyster Sauce. For her he selected a Grilled Swordfish Sandwich on Sesame Bun with Sesame Chili Mayonnaise.

That had her chuckling, realizing that some cultures considered oysters to be an aphrodisiac. She just shook her head when Sousuke asked her why she sounded so amused. Kaname had to avoid his inquiry one more time when he picked out their deserts. Vanilla Ice Cream with Passion Sauce and Sesame Sticks for him and Passion-tini Mousse with Raspberries and Cilantro Jelly for her.

Passion sauce?Was Fate in her corner, or busy laughing at her?

Lunch went very nicely. She spent some time telling him all of Kyouko's, Ren's, and Maya's news, plus whatever details they mentioned about other people they both knew. The most surprising news was that Shinji and Mizuki had been going together for years, and had recently run off together to elope.

Kaname threw a raspberry at Sousuke when he made it a point to reminisce about his kiss with Mizuki. She managed to salvage some of her dignity afterwards by saying it was really no big deal. She told him that she would have been more concerned had he kissed Shinji instead.

"You didn't hear about that?" Sousuke went on to ask with a perplexed face. It took three more raspberries before he admitted he was only joking.

Kaname almost slid out of her chair when Sousuke asked if she had been planning on getting him sticky all along. He had not been making a suggestive statement. She tried to get herself under control. This wasn't like her. The night obviously meant even more than she had been willing to admit to herself. That by itself spoke volumes.

Each and every innocent slip or coincidental happenstance was tugging on the strings of her libido. She didn't know if she could make it home and wait until the evening, or whether she should take him to a hypnotist and then drag him to a Love Hotel.

Kaname was terribly distracted. Consequently, Sousuke was a little disappointed at her performance in the shooting range. That didn't matter as much to her as it usually would have, as she was much more concerned about her performance that night.

Eschewing the flashiness or bragging of the other talented patrons, Sousuke wowed the crowd with his Beretta model 87 target pistol and Mark XIX .50AE Desert Eagle Pistol with 10-inch barrel and scope. Kaname wasn't expecting him to do the same for her that night. The topic had come up between them in the past. He had never been with a woman before.

She had blushed rather furiously at one point, when Sousuke asked if she wanted him to give her the gun. Get a grip, Kaname. Geez!_  
_  
Her attention had wandered repeatedly after that, and she even ended up clipping a target in the lane to her left. Sousuke halted the shooting, clearly wondering if something was troubling her. Kaname hated to lie to him, but she was not about to tell him what she was thinking.

Her state of mind being what it was, she decided to save the lingerie shop for another day. Besides, it would be more fun when Sousuke had a notch on his pistol, so to speak. When they finally made it home after visiting the market, she sent him to get a shower, saying it was because he lost the battle of the desserts. She would sneak in and use the shower herself, while dinner was cooking.

Humming happily to herself, Kaname went about preparing the evening meal. For nostalgia's sake, she chose to make _okonomiyaki_ and _unagi_. Her choice of the latter had nothing to do with its reputed effect on stamina. After those items were finished, she cooked Scallops in Yuzu and Honeyed Chicken Breasts with ginger. For a wild moment, she wondered if she should bring the jar of honey upstairs with her later.

No. She had never been into _that_ type of thing. At least not yet…

From that point on, all the moments seemed to blur together. Dinner. Some time spent watching a movie together in the TV room. Drinks on the balcony. The later it got, the more excited Kaname became. Things were a blur to her, until she and Sousuke found themselves sitting outside.

Before she knew it, the time had arrived.

_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx_

Kaname stood up.

It was getting late. Before long, Sousuke would be heading back to one of his rooms to get some sleep. She swallowed hard, finding that she had to clear her throat before she could speak. What had happened to all that bravado?

"Heading off to bed, Kaname?" Sousuke asked, politely rising to see her off to her room.

"Y-_Yes_..." Kaname closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and then clenched her fists. She could do this. She _would _do this! "Sousuke..."

"Hmmm?" Sousuke was puzzled by the range of emotions playing across Kaname's face, as well at the change in her posture.

"Would you walk me all of the way back to my room, please? There's something special I would like to show you." That much came out easy enough.

_The true test would come when she walked into her suite of rooms_.

"Certainly. What is it?" Sousuke wondered why Kaname sounded breathless. Was she ill? He would run out to a late night pharmacy if she needed him to.

"It's a surprise." That was an understatement. "I hope you like it. I've been working on it for a long time." That statement was safely ambiguous. While that might delay Sousuke's anxiety, it certainly had no effect on her own. Her heart was racing.

"I see. Well then, let's go. I'm interested in seeing what you have to show me." Sousuke held out his hand. Kaname took it, and then led him off of the balcony and back inside.

_'I'm interested in seeing what you have to show me.' _She prayed that he would be. Something he said in the past resurfaced as well. _'Yes, Kaname,'_ followed by_ 'Yes.'_ It seemed as if were ages ago, when he had said he wanted to see more of her and spend more time with her.

The night was finally here. The crucial moment was swift approaching.

Kaname had tried to think how she would broach the subject to Sousuke. All of her carefully laid plans and well chosen words evaporated. She would just have to say whatever came to her mind. When she finally unlocked her door and turned on her lights, she was almost blurted things out then and there. She fought to maintain control. She was Kaname Chidori, one time Class Representative and Student Council Vice President, not some silly little twit.

"I… I… I have some cocktails in the refrigerator, Sousuke. Could you get one out for me while I get things ready? Please, get one for yourself as well. What I have to show you may take a while." She gave him a quick kiss, and then went into her bedroom, closing the door behind her before turning the lights on.

Taking a pack of matches out of her dresser drawer, she lit the candles she had bought. There were quite a few, and soon they cast a dancing and flickering honey-colored light on the walls and bed. Going into another drawer, she took out a number of sticks of Shoyeido incense, made from sandalwood, jin-koh, patchouli, star anise, ginger lily, frankincense, cinnamon, and safflower. She set them burning as well. Soon, the soothing aroma began wafting around the room on delicate wafting curls of smoke.

The most important items were in the end table near her bed. She double-checked, to make certain they were there. They were. Her hands trembling ever so slightly, Kaname turned down both sides of the bed. "OK girl," she said to herself as she walked back to her door, turning the room lights out. Opening the door, she saw Sousuke pacing about nervously. Did he have any suspicion what might be going on? "Sousuke. You can come in now. Bring the drinks."

She watched Sousuke as he walked towards her. Time seemed to slow. She wanted to hear him say 'yes.' She needed to hear him say 'yes'. That big idiot better say 'yes'!

"Kaname?" Sousuke carefully stepped into the room, noting the unusual lighting. His eyes went wide as he looked about the room, too many things vying for his attention for him to be able to take them all in at once. His mouth opened slightly as he focused on the tapestries. "You must have had those made." There were no original coats of arms depicting the ARX-10.

"Affirmative," Kaname said in a low voice, stepping closer to Sousuke. "I hope you like them." She took the drinks from him and placed them on coasters near her bed.

"Yes. They are rather remarkable. Vert, an Arm Slave sejant erect affrontry gules and on a bordure sable a semy of roundels Or."

Sousuke's grasp of proper nomenclature impressed Kaname. She went on to explain her color choices. "I do love you, Sousuke. Do you know that?" She stood in front of him, backed up against him, and pulled his arms around her. "Very much."

"Kaname..." Sousuke suddenly felt anxious and numb at the same time. In that room, in those surroundings, Kaname's words had the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. His breath sounded inpossibly loud as well. Why was he feeling this way? How did he feel about Kaname? Could he put it into words?

_She was waiting for some response from him, wasn't she?_

Kaname waited, wanting ever so much to hear Sousuke echo her words. That alone would make all of her efforts worthwhile.

"Kaname, I..." Sousuke took a moment to collect himself. "I am still not certain what love is." He felt Kaname tremble just a little, spurring him to continue. "But I will say this. The way things have been with you in this house... I would never want you to leave me... _ever_." He didn't know if that would be enough for her.

It was.

"Sousuke." Kaname turned slowly. There were tears in her eyes. "Thank you. I would never want to leave." She pushed herself up against him and coaxed him into a long slow kiss.

After he stared into Kaname's eyes for a while, marveling that he could have this effect on anyone, Sousuke slowly looked around the room again. "You went to a lot of work, Kaname." It was a statement, but it was also a question.

"Yes. There was something I wanted very much. And, there was someone special I wanted it with. It hardly seemed like much effort, taking all of that into consideration." She smiled, seeing that Sousuke still hadn't tumbled to her ultimate intentions. Big naïve idiot! "You were the one who told me about knights, Sousuke. You also said that you sometimes felt like a knight. I asked you how you might act if you had a lady." She stepped back away from him.

"I remember, Kaname. But..." Sousuke's eyes went to the bed. He noticed that both sides were neatly arranged. There were pairs of slippers on either side of the bed. One pair was the size and style that he usually wore.

"I like romantic and courtly love, Sousuke. I'm very happy with the improvements that you have make in those areas. But I would like more than that. Do you remember why I was initially unhappy with the relationship between a knight and his chosen love?" Kaname's throat was tightening up. She was so close. Just a few more words.

"I don't..." Sousuke looked like he was trying to remember something. "Uhhh..." His eyes went wide.

Kaname saw the look on Sousuke's face. He obviously remembered. There was no look of lust or eagerness on his face, but he also didn't look frightened or disinterested. The moment had unfolded enough for her. She felt some urge pushing her to just come out with it. "Sousuke... I would like you to spend the night with me."

There. She had done it!Now, she just had to wait. Please, Sousuke...

"Kaname, I..." Sousuke swallowed hard. He looked at Kaname, almost as if seeing her for the first time. "You want me to..."

"I would like you to share my bed tonight, Sousuke." She looked at him, her heart in her throat. She would give anything if he didn't leave through that door until morning. Even if they only cuddled tonight, it would be a big step forward. "In any way you choose. In every way you want."

"But... I..." Sousuke looked at war with himself. He didn't look away from Kaname. His eyes were glued to her face. "I'm not..."

"I know, Sousuke." Kaname walked over and stood in front of him. "It doesn't matter. I don't mind if you haven't had any experience in these things. Only one thing matters." She paused, watching his eyes. "I want to share my body with you. I would like you to feel the same way about me. If you don't, that's OK. If I have to wait, I will."

Sousuke's hands twitched. His mind raced. Memories of things he had seen soldiers do to women from the opposing camps crept into his mind, as did the things he had read about the Comfort Women. Conflicting with those memories were the feelings he had for Kaname in the past, and the stronger feelings he felt for her now.

"I may not be good enough for you, Kaname." Sousuke hung his head a moment before continuing. "I'm…."

Kaname placed her finger on his lips. "If you aren't good enough for me, Sousuke, who is? And if what I want doesn't matter..." She took her finger away. "I think I now some of the things you are worried about, soldier. They don't worry me. And, I'm a better judge of character than you."

"Kaname, I..."

Kaname spoke louder and more forceful. "I want only one answer from you. After that, you can do as you choose." She gave Sousuke a confident look, completely in control of her own feelings. "Do you want to be here tonight with me?"

"But if you were to become…."

"Pregnant? I've taken care of that for tonight. We can discuss long range strategies another day, if there's a need. You still haven't answered the question." She was beginning to feel a bit angry. She didn't want any negative emotions to intrude upon the moment."

"Yes." Sousuke's word had as big of an effect on himself as it did on Kaname.

"S-Soususke..." Suddenly, Kaname felt a bit timid again. It was as if she couldn't believe what she had heard, and was worried that he would retract his answer at any moment.

"I said 'yes,' Kaname." Sousuke looked as if a tremendous weight had been taken off of his shoulders. "I find myself wanting to... uhhh..." He was still not comfortable or knowledgeable enough to put his feelings into words. "I am not certain how to proceed." he looked at the bed, and then back to Kaname again.

Kaname felt as if the entire room had disappeared, leaving only her and Sousuke floating in a void. Sousuke had said 'yes.' When she had control of her tongue again, she smiled. There was definitely something she wanted to do. More precisely, there was something she wanted Sousuke to do. It would be fun to see just how he responded.

_And, it would help him buy into the whole idea of intimacy._

"You can start by undressing me, Sousuke." Kaname licked her lips slowly, deciding to vamp things up. "And I don't mean with your eyes."

"Uhhh...undress you..." Sousuke looked a bit wild in the eyes, as if that might be the most intimidating challenge he would face that night.

"Yes. You can start anywhere you like. When you're done, it will be my turn to help you off with your clothes." Kaname walked over and took a drink of her cocktail. Making a slow turn, she held her arms out away from her body. She was wearing a button-down blouse. Sousuke had his work cut out for him.

Sousuke made a valiant effort to steel his nerves. He wanted to say that a Specialist shouldn't have trouble with any of this. The problem was he was not a Specialist in _this_ type of matter.

As with any foray into the unknown, he should advance as boldly as prudence allows. The building tension inside him was not truly fear. He realized that this was something he wanted to do.

Whatever happened tonight, it had to be good for Kaname.

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Kaname woke slowly, on her own this time.

She wriggled a little, finding the most comfortable way to rest on the overstuffed mattress. Sousuke still slept peacefully, his one hand gently cupped around her breast.

_She liked that.  
_  
He had awakened with a start a number of times, after hearing sharp abrupt noises outside. She woke with him, but was able to sooth him back to sleep with her voice or touch.

Kaname had wondered if he was a light sleeper, knowing what she did of his history. She sighed. She needed to patient in that regard.It was time to content herself with little victories.

Sousuke had been so eager at one point... so determined to do things right for her... that there was no way that things could have gone as far as she had hoped for. Regardless, she smiled, remembering how the rough tough SRT soldier had struggled to undress her. He had gotten through the buttons on her blouse without too much trouble, but the look on his face had been wonderfully nervous, and there had been a slight tremor in his hand.

Giving him a fond smile, she told him that he didn't have to fold the shirt neatly when he finally slid it off of her.

Her skirt had been much simpler for him mechanically, but his reaction was even more pronounced. As the skirt slid down her legs to the floor, his eyes followed it. He was obviously looking at her legs. When his eyes lifted some, he closed them a moment before setting his jaw. Her own heart pounding, she had told him that he could save her panties for last.

_The deer-in-the-headlights look on his face had been priceless_.

Kaname pushed lightly against Sousuke. Closing her eyes again, she grinned, thinking about how a man who could strip a gun and reassemble it in the dark hanging from his feet... and set-up sophisticated security and defense systems with near supernatural ease... had so much difficulty with her bra. The lace obviously had him fascinated, as did the feel of its contour. He had he gently explored its every point before approaching it in a systematic fashion.

"It's not booby-trapped, Sousuke" she had reassured him.

It turned out to be a great challenge for him. He had not been expecting a gender-sensitive fastener, a closure that women can use and some men can't. She could have sped things along by simply reaching behind her back with one hand... smiling knowingly... and flipping it open in a millisecond without having to look. But, it was all important training for him.

Sousuke hadn't known whether to look relieved, or to become even more anxious, when Kaname eventually stood naked before him. She gently kissed him and thanked him for his efforts. It had been her turn then, and she made it a point to satisfy each of her senses as best she could. She rubbed her hands gently over him before she helped him off with his clothes, quietly remarking how handsome she found him... how firm he felt... and how strong he was.

She had wanted him to feel good about himself. He needed to be as confident as possible._  
_  
When they were both completely nude, she had turned him around and pushed him gently towards the bed. Their initial moments together had been a time of reassurance and commitment. Kaname gave Sousuke an idea of some of the things that she wanted him to do, and asked him to say whatever was on his mind. If there was something that he was afraid to do, he was to tell her. If there was something he wanted to do, he was to let her know. If there was something he liked, he was to clue her in, at that instant or later.

Pushing against Sousuke a little more firmly, Kaname wondered if she had thrown too many things at him at one time. She was not all that experienced herself, and had been in a rush to pass along certain things that she had read or had been told by her more worldly friends. It was as if she had been worried that she might forget everything she that she had been intent on his hearing.

As she had expected, he was very tentative. She had tried to reassure him that there were no places he couldn't touch. It was more than that. She wanted him to do more than just touch. She wanted to be nuzzled. She wanted to be rubbed and caressed. She wanted to be gently nibbled. She wanted to be fondled, stroked, and fully explored.

Sousuke had gradually grown more confident when she responded to his actions. He had been somewhat shocked at first when she introduced him to French kissing; but, he had obviously found something that he found pleasurable. She had watched his face intently as she ran her hands over him. His emotions never stayed the same form more than a minute or two at a time. This was so new to him, and he didn't know what to make of it all.

_But, he didn't hold back, and he didn't withdraw._

Some of her reactions obviously excited him, in more ways than one. He soon learned which areas of her body were her most reliable erogenous zones. She hadn't wanted him to limit himself exclusively to those parts of her, but had been in no hurry to have to have him stop his discoveries.

Kaname began pushing back rhythmically against Sousuke, increasing the pressure in very small increments. Moving instinctually, she thought again about earlier events. She had been disappointed with the final outcome, even though the things that the two of them had shared would be the subject of her daydreams for the next few days. She made it a point not to sulk, or say anything that might hurt Sousuke's feelings or cause him to feel self conscious.

_She had reassured him that he was far from being a failure_.

It was not a one shot deal, she had told him. At least, it had better _not_ be. They would sleep together tonight, and would have whatever time they needed to work towards each others wants and desires in the days and nights to come.

Sousuke stirred some, but didn't say a word. He didn't relinquish his gentle custody of he breast, but did slowly begin pushing back against her, pressed against her in spoon fashion. Kaname wasn't certain when he had actually come awake again, but the gentle caress of his hands eventually told her that he was responding purposefully.

There would be no need for words now. This was all about their natural instincts and the lessons they had learned so far.

When he began fondling her in a firm and circular motion, she pressed back firmly against him. She rocked back and forth with his movements, bighting her lip when he began teasing her nipples. Like some great sleek cat, she arched her back when he ran his hand down along her side and abdomen, to begin stroking her thigh.

She took his hand then, and moved it somewhat higher up, keeping her hand on his as she showed him the spot she wanted him to put his effort towards. She began the motion for him, and then let him take things from there.

Her subsequent moans and quick little gasps had Sousuke trembling with eagerness. Filled with passion, Kaname turned to face him, and began running her hands over his body. Their mouths locked together at times, and she had moments where she forgot everything except for the touch of the moment.

When her hand moved quickly over him and found irrefutable proof that he was ready, she pulled away and reached over to her bedside nightstand. This time they would have success. She just knew it! She quickly grabbed a condom and opened the package. Just as she was about to turn her attention back to Sousuke, she was startled by the sound of a beeper.

What?

**_NO-O-O-O-O-O..._**

That couldn't be Souske's beeper. Not now!

"Sousuke... no... can't it wait?" Kaname's voice was charged with emotion. Everything had been going so wonderfully. It couldn't end now._  
_  
"Negative." Sousuke got up quickly. "I am sorry, Kaname. That beeper is slaved to the communications console downstairs. The automated system dials the number, and no one outside of Mithril has direct access to that number."

"But... couldn't we..." Kaname felt so frustrated. Didn't she mean enough to that moron for him to put her needs first?

"I cannot. It will be an emergency. I must respond promptly." Sousuke began getting dressed as quickly as he could. He stopped. His shirt half on, he walked over to kiss Kaname, who barely responded. "I am disappointed too, Kaname." He looked sadly at her for a moment after that, obviously picking up on her emotions.

This wasn't pleasant for him either. He wasn't certain why, but her sudden coolness towards him had him feeling hurt. But, there was no time to worry about that. In all likelihood, he would be in the air within the hour.

_There was no telling what had happened or where he would be headed._

"Sousuke..." Kaname got up and wrapped a decorative blanket around herself. "Sousuke, I'm sorry." She wrapped her arms around him for a moment, then let him go. "I love you. And I have to be strong, too."

"Thank you. We will have another time, Kaname." Sousuke ran off into the next room, having no need to turn the lights on.

"I hope so, Sousuke. I hope so." Kaname's disappointment slowly gave way to fear and uncertainty.

These were the types of situations that she dreaded. It was Sousuke's job to go into harm's way.

It was her job to wait.


	19. Chapter 19 finale

Kaname pulled the pillow against her face, trying to block out the sunlight.

She hadn't slept a wink after Sousuke left. Now it was morning.

A day without Sousuke seemed like such a daunting thing. Just a couple of months ago, she hadn't even known he was on campus. But, she knew that now. He had become the focal point of her existence.

Mentally. Emotionally. _And last night, physically._

They had been so close to consummating their love! Once again, totally against her will, she thought back to the final events of that previous evening. Still sitting naked with the covers pulled around her, she had looked up with sorrowful eyes when Sousuke came back into her bedroom, uniform on, and weapons bag slung over his shoulder. She had felt a chill, as if she had stepped wet out of shower into the cold of a winter's day.

Her emotions had stabbed at her. Worry. Frustration. Disappointment. Fear.

In a figurative sense, she had spent hours... no, days... building a house of cards in a room filled with painstakingly arranged dominoes. Just as she had been ready to realize the fruit of her labors, an errant card slipped out of her hand, and a foot nudged the wrong domino.  
_**  
**Everything had come crashing down._

"The van will be here within fifteen minutes," Sousuke had told her. "A helicopter will take me to _Da Danaan_. There is trouble brewing in Pakistan. A shadow organization has control of the new government. All signs suggest that they intend to distribute nuclear weapons to any and all terrorist groups with sufficient monetary resources."

Kaname realized now that Sousuke did not have any reason to go into that much detail. All he had really be obligated to say was 'Good bye. I'll be back when I'm able.' But, he trusted her.The explanation had been his way of offering her everything that he could. No doubt, he felt bad about leaving in the middle of such a special and intimate moment.

At the time, she had been too numb to care about that. With him standing there, on the verge of departure, it had been difficult being thankful for the moments of closeness that the two of them had just shared.

Sousuke was leaving her. Again. He was headed into a serious situation. Again. There had been no way to know whether or not this would be the last time she saw him.

"Please come back, Sousuke. This house will be too big without you. My life would be empty if... if you..." She had trembled when Sousuke walked over and pulled her to him.

"I have something to come back to now, Kaname." He had held her face in his hand. "And you should know, a Specialist does **_not_** leave a mission half done." He kissed her eyes, straightened up, and spoke again just as he was about to step out of her room. "We have unfinished business, you and I..."

The words 'I love you' froze on Kaname's lips as Sousuke left. She had been too shaken to speak. Laying in bed, she regretted not saying those words.

Sousuke had disappeared into the darkness beyond her door like a ghost merging with the shadows, but not before he had looked at her for a moment, bent over, and taken one of her stockings.

She had been left alone, glancing at the tapestries on her wall; her clothes on the floor; and the multitude of darkened candles strewn throughout the room. Why did that have to happen? Why did it have to happen then? Why did it have to happen to _them?_ Was it too much to ask for her special night to go off without a hitch?

Tossing and turning throughout the early morning hours, she had remembered the feelings that felt when Sousuke walked away from her three years ago. Those thoughts mixed with the stark fresh emotions of her current situation. The more the shock had worn off, the more those thoughts and emotions had swarmed over her unmercifully.

One part of her was focusing on thoughts of abandonment. "I don't need him" she tried to convince herself, feeling withdrawn. That claim was sent down in flames. She realized that she was feeling bad because Sousuke was gone, _not_ because he had done anything to hurt her. He was the reason that her life seemed so bright those days.

A different part of her was obsessed with thoughts of emotional engulfment . "I need him so much," she thought, on the verge of collapsing into a helpless heap on the floor. "What would I do without him?" That feeling couldn't take hold either. She was stronger than that. As distraught as she had been, she knew she that could get by, no matter what.

"If I can't be given a lesser burden, then I should just broaden my shoulders, right?" It was easier said than done, but it was something she had tried to do throughout her life. Adversity had proven to be a wonderful teacher.

A third and tiny voice spoke out with anger, feeling some need to reject Sousuke, since she could not reject the situation. "Fine, just go away. You've hurt me... you didn't do what I wanted you to do... so now I'm going to hurt you." She had felt that way once before. That's why she would never let herself feel that way again.

"Not _this_ time," she had cried out, pounding on a pillow. She would make conscious good decisions this time, not mindless bad choices. In high school, she had been in love with the _idea _of being in love. Now, she was in love.

And, she could take strength from her feelings for Sousuke, just as she hoped that she had given him another reason to come home alive, just as he had said. There was a quote that she had read in one of Sousuke's essays:

'_The soldier here his wasted store supplies,  
Takes new valor from his lady's eyes.' _

She would be a lady-in-waitingof sorts. No, not the type that waited hand and foot on some noblewoman. She would be waiting for Sousuke to make his way back to her. She would do that with as much faith, pride, and dignity as she could muster.

It struck her why Sousuke had taken her stocking. Realizing that he would probably tie it around himself... or some control lever in his Arm Slave... she smiled as her eyes welled up with tears. Big jerk! Riding off to battle in his giant metal charger. It was just her luck to fall in love with a hero!

As she took the pillow away from her face, Kaname blinked repeatedly... rubbed her eyes... then pulled her covers tight around her. Yawning long and deep, she tried to work up the gumption to get out of bed, get dressed, and head downstairs for something to eat.

No such luck. For the moment, she was content to simply lay there, pulling at one corner of the pillow she had been hugging tightly to her for the past few hours. It still had the faintest scent of Sousuke on it.

Somewhere... probably still in the air... he would be headed for that submarine. What was he thinking about? Would he be slipping into his combat persona, convincing himself that he was already dead? Might he be thinking about the time they had spent together? Would that big idiot go bragging to Kurz or Melissa?

Kaname sat upright, pillow squeezed mercilessly in her clutching hands. "Sous-kaaaaay..." He had better **_not! _**Especially since he had never completed the assignment! "Oooooh. If you..."

She collapsed back down on her other pillows. Even with all of his recent changes, Sousuke was not one to sing his own praises. That was fine by her. She didn't like the idea of too many people, women especially, knowing how wonderful he was. Though, if he wanted to tell Tessa, she wouldn't have any problem with that..._  
_  
The mental image of Tessa reacting to Sousuke's big news made Kaname smile. Pulling her blanket up to her chin, she thought back to the time in Tessa's cabin where the young Captain had tried to convince Kaname that she had a personal relationship with a certain youthful sergeant.

Almost drifting off to sleep, she wriggled around some until she found the most comfortable way to lay. Her thoughts drifted back to Sousuke, focusing on more recent events. Out on the quad, she had turned around, startled by a high pitched yelp, wondering where her obnoxious suitor had gone. She saw a different young man walking away from the area, his back turned to her. There was something about his walk that was familiar, but she couldn't place it.

It had been Sousuke. Maybe if he had shot someone or blown something up, she could have come to that realization earlier. Moron!

Later, the Rugby Squad had begun calling out rude comments, threatening to start some choice rumors about her. Their game abruptly stopped, and they seemed to disappear. The same thing happened in the Library. Looking down an aisle, she saw a pair of shoes disappear into the stacks. From that angle, the vanishing person would have had to be sitting down and sliding backwards, or being pulled by someone else. Sousuke had been busy chastising her tormentors again.

It was heart warming to think that he had been protecting her, even after the way she had treated him when he had to leave high school.

Abruptly, her memory switched over to the instant of her startling discovery. She could remember her shock as she was roughly grabbed and thrown against the side of a college building. She shivered, recalling the feel of the cold muzzle of a pistol against her throat.

Baka! She still hadn't gotten him back for that one. The rough handling was bad enough. But, before she knew it, he was gone again. It seemed to be a recurring theme: Sousuke was there one moment, and then gone the next. She let out a long sigh.

That was not necessarily an uplifting thought.Neither was the memory of her somersaulting backward, skirt ending up over her head, after she pulled her foot out of a garbage can she had been kicking. The gathering crowd of amused passersby had all laughed, chuckled, or made snide comments. To make matters worse, her shoe had been terribly scuffed and scratched after she had wedged it in the garbage can in a fit of pique

That big stupid head of hers was the only person who could ever cause her to act that way.

Big stupid head of hers.

_Hers. _

That made Kaname smile, even though she was suddenly worried about Sousuke. There really hadn't been any competition. She had merely needed to realize her own feelings, and then decide for him what _his_ feelings would be.

Piece of cake! Uh huh. Sure. Those damn girls certainly had her tied in a bit of a knot for a little while. She remembered resorting to that cheap and demeaning trick. 'Sousuke, I need your help...' It had been a lie, but would prove true soon enough. 'I'm in danger.'

Despite the fact that she had gone on to treat him somewhat unfairly again, Sousuke showed up at her door, catching her off guard physically and emotionallyIf the big fool wasn't disappearing unexpectedly, he was showing up unannounced!

'Why? Have you been following me around? Am I your assignment again? Your duty and obligation?' She could remember the anger in her voice. Her emotions caused her to miss an opportunity to speak with him about her actions in the past. 'Sousuke, I did NOT want you gone... you had to go... I was really...'

She almost made her feelings known that time. But, a telephone rang. It had been Sousuke's, of course. And then he was gone.

But, she saw him again. Just like she _would_ see him again later, after the current mission. Right? He always shows up again. Doesn't he? Couldn't she take comfort from that? He may go away a lot; but, he always manages to come back...

_To her.  
_  
The next memory had her shaking her head. She should have learned to expect the unexpected, wherever Sousuke is concerned. She had been sitting in class, startled by the oral quiz she had forgotten about, thanks to her scrambled emotional state. 'Before I ask Miss Chidori her next question, does anyone have something constructive to add?' There had been a pause; then, the teacher said something that knocked her for a loop. 'Alright, Mr. Sagara.'

Sousuke had been in her class! How could she have missed it? Kaname felt somewhat embarrassed, even now.

Back then, she had begun to think more and more about him, wondering how he was different from the boy she last knew three years ago. Not wanting to go through certain feelings again, she had gone out on a date with someone else. That came close to being the biggest mistake she had made in her entire life. But, in her time of greatest need, Sousuke had been there.

_Again. _

'I'm sorry, Kaname. You should be safe from those boys in the future. I doubt they will act that way again.' Sousuke had saved her. Just like old times. He had also comforted her. That had been a revelation. It was something that he wouldn't have known how to do before. Even so, after she had done everything at the hospital she needed to do and had finished using the restroom, she discovered that Sousuke was gone.

She couldn't blame him that time, though. He had been convinced that she didn't want to see him ever again. After the way she had treated him before, she shouldn't have be surprised by that.

Her interest in him freshly rekindled, it had not been a simple task to tell him how she felt. Not paying attention as she walked from her seat in class, she had tripped over an umbrella someone had left in the aisle. She fell. She never hit the floor...

Kaname hugged her pillow tighter. He had saved her again. Moving ever so swiftly, he caught her, and provided her with a golden opportunity. 'You're my hero.' When she had whispered those words, he should have realized that she didn't hate him. Instead, he dropped her!_  
_  
"Oooooh... that... that... _mmmmmm_..." Kaname felt her spirits rising some. Sousuke was certainly an acquired taste. He was low maintenance, but seemed to cause a lot of stress or work for the people who get close to him. Of course, she wasn't much better herself. Maybe that's why they were meant for each other.

Wanting to convince him that she cared, she had left him with just the opposite impression. 'It would seem that those words explain it all, Miss Chidori.' After class, she had tried to make her way to his side to explain. But, once again, he vanished without a trace or a trail.

Kaname chuckled, and then sat up. She had been driven to consider extreme measures. 'I know. That's why I won't get my hopes up to high. I'll still try to corner him anywhere I can. Pride be damned! If I have to throw myself on him in front of witnesses... wrap my arm and legs around him as tight as I can... and force him to hurt me to get free...' Aki had thought that she had been joking. She hadn't been! There was no telling if that method would have had any positive results; but, it certainly would have been less painful than the trouble she had found herself in.

She swallowed hard. Swinging her feet around, she got out of bed and walked over to pick up her robe. Standing in front of her mirror, she looked at the scar on her shoulder. Her thoughts went back to a rather hectic and frightful scene. She had wedged herself behind a large piece of equipment when bullets had started ricocheting off the wall close to her. She had had no idea what was going on, but the fighting had sounded somewhat fierce

When she had seen Sousuke in danger, she wanted to grab him and pull him to safety. She tripped on a dead terrorist. Slamming into Sousuke, she knocked him aside and took a bullet in the shoulder that had been meant for him. It had been a high price to pay, but she didn't regret things for a moment. Sousuke had carried her all of the way to the hospital in his arms, even though he was injured himself. He wouldn't let anyone else touch her. He sat with her through the night, even though he kept falling asleep.

_She had certainly managed to get his attention.  
_  
After taking one more prolonged glance around the room, her gaze lingering on the side of the bed where Sousuke had slept, Kaname put her robe and slippers on and headed off for the stairs. Rubbing her hand back and forth over the smooth railing, she thought about the morning before. She sighed sadly. There would be no breakfast waiting for her today.

Each step took her further from her room, the place that she had last seen Sousuke. Every step reminded her of the anxiety and excitement she had felt the other day, before walking down these very stairs. I had turned out to be a wonderful day. The night had been special, too. But now she had the chore of getting through the morning after... and then the day after ... and finally the night after. Followed by who knows how man mornings, days, and nights after.

_Alone. _

She considered whether or not she should spend some time with her friends. Maybe she ought to give her father or sister a call.

Putting together a simple meal, she came to the conclusion that she was in no mood to see or talk to _anyone_ at the moment. She was very grateful that the University didn't have classes on Sunday. Sitting at the large dining table, she felt as if the room had swallowed her alive. It was so big. It needed something. Nodding her head, she knew just what it was. She would hang the tapestries in here, and find a few other classy pieces of artwork and furniture to help spruce things up.

After all, there were times when that building reminded her more of as fortification than a house. But, maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. After all, it _was _Sousuke's castle, so to speak. Yes, but it was far more than that. With every passing day, she had come to view it more and more as her home, not just the place she lived.

She would take care of it while Sousuke was away. She would do what she could to make things as nice as possible for his return._  
_  
Kaname avoided feeling self-absorbed, as she probably would have three years ago. It was true, she hurt. And yes, she was deeply saddened by the way things stood. But, she remembered something that Melissa had said to her while she was in the hospital. 'He hurt too. The difference was that when he was hurting, he was crawling through trenches... snorkeling through underwater minefields... piloting Arbalest against two, three, or even more enemy machines. He was putting other people first. And they weren't even people who had come to mean anything to him.'

Sgt. Major Mao was right. As hard as things had been for Kaname in high school, they had been that much harder for Sousuke. The same went for today, as well.

Her heart filled with pride, thinking of him. He still had such heavy burdens to carry, but he wouldn't have to bear them alone. All of the tragedies he had faced had not broken him. In fact, despite all that he had to deal with, he managed to continue growing as a person.

Part of her wanted Sousuke to be what **_she _**wanted him to be, right then and there. She shook her head. No doubt her impatience had been another thing that had doomed some of her past brief relationships. Tugging at her hair, she smiled, thinking of a Chinese proverb: 'You won't help shoots grow by pulling them up higher.' That made a lot of sense. Time has a way of changing things. And some things can't be rushed.

Kaname thought about some of the ways that Sousuke _had_ changed. 'That's better. Now, when you walk into a girl's hospital room, what should you do?' She remembered her annoyance with him when he walked timidly into her hospital room. While he had still been the same in some ways, he had shown her something new, something that intrigued her. 'I apologize, Kaname. I should have checked the room. I assumed, that with Melissa here..." He had joked slyly with her. She had missed that fact at first.

He had matured in other ways, too._ '_You have grown more beautiful, Kaname.' The words had come out in a rush, but they were not prompted by anything that she had said or done. There had been no need to save him from having to swim naked in the lake, this time. 'Although, to be honest, I prefer your mother's kimono to a beer-stained hospital robe.' He had even gone on to say 'I will acquiesce. I will tell you how you have matured over the years.'

_But that damn phone rang again! _

How she _hated_ that phone. And the beeper. And the communications console. Maybe she could unplug it... detach a few parts... or pour a drink into it or something. Hmmm.Too bad she was only joking.

When Kaname finished eating, she went to clean the dishes, pots, and pans in a sink of sudsy water. She remembered standing at this sink with Sousuke, covering him with soap bubbles. He hadn't been too pleased about that, but his newfound urge to compete with her had led him to mention the shower. That had been fun. She still maintained that she had won that round, even though he did leave her roaming throughout the building looking for him.

_Jerk! _

Stretching and yawning again, she decided that the shower sounded like a marvelous idea. She needed something to lift her spirits, and could use a fresh start to the day. When she eventually found herself luxuriating in the warm pulsing spray, her thoughts drifted off again.

Her shoulder had stopped hurting weeks ago. But, the wound she took had not been enough to get Sousuke to take note of the renewed feelings she had for him. 'Could you hold my hand, Sousuke?' Kaname smiled, remembering how that big idiot had stumbled when she asked that. Some Specialist he was! Then again, he was perfect just the way he was. The things he had gone on to tell her out there amongst the wind, leaves, and trees could still bring tears to her eyes, even in a shower. 'There is no one, Kaname. I... I have felt the need for companionship... and other things... often. The girls who congregate around me are very attractive... and their attention is flattering, and frightening... but...'

She hadn't been thrilled to hear about those damn girls again, but Sousuke's admission had her hopeful. Another statement had left her feeling somewhat dizzy and weak in the knees. 'None of them is as beautiful as you, Kaname...none of them were you...'

Important as those words had been, something else he had said gave her life back to her, in a manner of speaking. 'I forgive you, Kaname Chidori.' After that, she had finally been able to forgive herself. And, she had begun to hope. 'So... what do we do now?' Sousuke had later asked. 'We take it one step at a time,' she had replied. It had been good advice then, and better advice now.

'Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.'Kaname couldn't recall the author responsible for those words, but they made sense too. She would work hard on the enduring part while Sousuke was gone. It would be _his_ job to see to the enjoyment part when he got back.

If he knew what was good for him.

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After getting dressed and tidying up her own room, Kaname spent a few moments deciding what she should do next.

While it might be easier to sit around moping and doing nothing, that wouldn't accomplish anything. She would clean each and every room that Sousuke used, and then move onto all of the rooms that she used alone, or the two of them had a habit of frequenting together. If she energy after that, she would try to think up some way to spruce up the building, giving it an even more homey feel.

One particular thought brought her up short. She was behaving like she was a newlywed or something, and they hadn't even fully consummated their relationshipBlushing, she felt warm inside. It was a good feeling, no matter what the circumstances. Not all that long ago, she had been scheming to get her hooks into him. If he wasn't truly secure in her net already, she would be certain to do everything possible to keep him from getting away.

Her earlier assessment had been right. This hadn't turned out to be some half-hearted attempt or a harmless short-lived flirtation. Sousuke had taken the bait, and the two of them had gradually allowed instinct to take over. She just wished he were there with her, so they could try out certain instincts again. She missed him so much it was almost painful.

Kaname thought back to one day in class, after she had finally gotten him to realize how she felt. 'So, did you miss _me_, Sousuke?' She asked out loud, scowling and remembering what Sousuke told her when she had asked him that in class. 'I was never aiming at you, Kaname.' Idiot! Maybe she didn't miss him so much after all...

Gathering the things she needed, Kaname pondered the vagaries of Fate and Destiny. It was hard to believe that there had been days when she just didn't want that scruffy freak around. She remembered asking him if he was following her. He said that it had all been coincidence. Time after time after time. Coincidence. Yes. In a way, those had been better days. She had known nothing of Mithril. She had never heard of the Whispered.

True, there had been exploding lockers. Yes, there had been busts for Art class mistaken for attackers. And he had been a clueless otaku with a penchant for bursting into the girl's dressing room and tackling teachers.

'Bad is never good until worse happens.' She chuckled. That saying certainly held true for those early days with Sousuke. And, it may very well hold true today. But, she didn't want to think that way. Sousuke was good at what he did. He would return.

Kaname took a moment to rub her temples, wondering how she would have reacted if someone told her back then that she would one day be madly in love with the same guy who called himself a sergeant when introduced to the class. She knew**_ exactly _**how she would have reacted!

_It was a strange world, wasn't it?  
_  
A rag and polish in one hand, and a kerchief tied around her hair, Kaname headed into Sousuke's study. He spent a lot of time in that room, so that would be the one she would be certain to clean up best. Gingerly, she set his essays aside as she dusted and polished his desk. She filed his loose books away and used a can of compressed air to clean out his computer keyboard.

With one eye on a floor in bad need of cleaning and shining, Kaname frowned when she eyed a tall stack of books. She decided to finish with her organizational efforts first. Trying to arrange the books more neatly, she felt her heart jump up into her throat. While certain books were titled inn English, she could still decipher them readily enough. _'Surviving Deployment.'_ That book had been written for military spouses and families. Kaname felt dizzy for as moment. That didn't mean that Sousuke was already considering marriage, _did _it? Almost flustered, she leafed through his handwritten notes, feeling guilty to be intruding into his private matters.

His intention was clear enough. He had been reading those texts to try and better understand how she would feel, whenever he was called away to duty. He had been taking notes to present to her later, in order to make her life easier.

Tears fell onto his notepad, smearing some of the ink there. Damn his big wonderful heart. He obviously cared a great deal about her, even more than she had come to hope for at that stage in their relationship.

'_Military 101.'_ Kaname put aside her cleaning things and sat down on the floor, reading a few pages in that book. It captured the emotions and endeavors that many new wives and significant others face when they set aside their personal goals for the sake of their husband's and boyfriends. There was solid information, practical checklists, and personal stories from hundreds of families. Sousuke didn't have to take notes for her. She could read through enough of this to make sense of things.

'_Today's Military Wife.'_ Although it was written for spouses of American servicemen in different branches of that country's armed forces, Kaname could see a number of practical points. Marrying a service member meant more than marrying the man. It also meant marrying into the military family and its way of life. She could extrapolate things to what it meant to fall in love with a young otaku who was prone to running off to combat. Sousuke may be called away infrequently now, but that would not make things easy when he wasaway on any given mission.

Having read enough to renew her spirit even more, Kaname worked to straighten up those books. As she did, a piece of paper fell out of Sousuke's note pad. Kaname stood rapt, reading it. It was an anonymous poem that he had printed out. It said more its few words than those books had in all of the paragraphs she had skimmed through.

_When she was a girl, her dreams were bold_

_As bold as her fine, free gaze;  
And every gift of grace and mind,  
Were hers in her younger days.  
When she was a girl, a golden girl**  
**With a soul as fine as fire,  
She could outshine the brightest jewel  
The rich man's love could buy her.  
Yes, hers could have been the glittering path,  
Through a careless, carefree life,  
But she fell in love with a soldier,  
So she was a soldier's wife. _

_Away from the home of her childhood,  
She marched at her husband's side,  
For she chose a wide and winding road,  
When she became a bride.  
And sometimes the road was a hard one,  
So different from what she had planned,  
Sometimes she wept for the home she had left  
As she lay in a foreign land;  
And sometimes her steps would grow weary,  
As she followed the drum and the fife;  
But she set about making the world her home,  
Because she was a soldier's wife. _

_She learned to build a hearth for them  
Wherever her man was sent,  
And she knelt to plant a garden  
Every time he pitched their tent.  
Yes, she would always plant a garden  
Though she never saw it grow,  
For she knew before the flowers came  
That she would have to go.  
But she left each garden gladly,  
Though it cut her like a knife,  
For she hoped to bring comfort,  
To another soldier's wife.  
To the hardships in her married life,  
She brought one simple truth;  
A promise that was spoken, in the ancient words of Ruth:  
"Wherever you go, I will go  
Where you lodge, I will lodge  
Your people shall be my people  
And your God shall be my God."  
I'll share your joy and sorrows  
As we make our way through life.  
For I'm proud to love a soldier  
And to be a soldier's wife. _

_She bore the weight of worrying  
What fate might hold in store.  
And the wordless fear of waiting  
When her soldier went to war.  
And the nights that she spent fearing,  
That her wait was in vain;  
And the pain of wanting someone  
She might never hold again.  
But she bore his children gladly  
Through uncertainty and strife,  
And they never heard her crying  
For she was a soldier's wife. _

_She raised a soldier's family  
With the faith her love had taught her,  
And she gave the pride she had inside  
To her son and her daughter.  
She taught them to love freedom  
And to know what is was worth,  
As they helped her plant her gardens  
In the corners of the earth.  
And she never wished for better  
Than the road they marched through life  
For she was as much a soldier  
As she was a soldier's wife.  
_  
Kaname sat with her head bowed for a few minutes after finishing that. To her, it was unbelievably poignant, almost too much so. It really brought the cold truth of reality raining down on her. Up until that point, her attitude had been one of _'I just have to make it through this until Sousuke comes home... this time...' _But, things wouldn't magically be better forever if he came back unharmed from this mission. Who could say when the next mission would be? Months? Days?

She had a lot of respect for those women who married soldiers. By extension, she began to realize what it must be like to be a firefighter's wife, or a police officer's girl friend. If they let themselves, they could spend all of their days and nights worrying. That was the one way that mankind was different than everything else alive: man is the worrying animal.

This certainly was not going to be easy. _'Yes, hers could have been the glittering path... through a careless, carefree life...but she fell in love with a soldier... so she was a soldier's wife.' _She had never had a careless and carefree life. She had never believed that she might some day she would be walking a glittering path. No one else had come close to capturing her heart the way Sousuke had. If she gave up on a relationship with him, what exactly would she be left with? What could she hope to look forward to?

_'Yes, she would always plant a garden ... though she never saw it grow... for she knew before the flowers came...that she would have to go.' _She wouldn't be faced with that, thanks to the concessions that Sousuke had wrangled from Mithril. But, it gave her an idea. There was something that she could do while Sousuke was gone.

A fair number of rooms throughout the building had good lighting. Many of the balconies that she and Sousuke had taken to frequenting had empty flower boxes. There was plenty of room near the main entryway for a number of large flower urns. She had always had a green thumb. It was time to prove that once again.

'Bread feeds the body, indeed, but flowers feed also the soul.'

_Yes._

Everything she planted would need to be watered. She was setting herself up for a lot of work. But, the idea that she could significantly beautify Sousuke's home filled her with enthusiasm. It would also be more fun than cleaning, so it was a reward of sorts that she could look forward to later.

'_She bore the weight of worrying ... what fate might hold in store... and the wordless fear of waiting... when her soldier went to war. And the nights that she spent fearing... that her wait was in vain... and the pain of wanting someone... she might never hold again.' _No. There was no way around that. The only way she could ease those fears would be to stop caring. She was not about to do _that_. She had already decided. She wanted to put her whole heart into things, seeing just how far the two of them could take their relationship.

It wasn't easy getting to sleep that night, but she still managed to get some rest. It was a good thing.

She would be busy the next day, too.

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Kaname needed to take a break.

The apartment building was now spotless, and she was worn out.

With classes scheduled for only half a day, Kaname had decided to skip them altogether, consequences be damned. There were things she wanted to do. Those things seemed more important than lectures, books, and notes. Or, that was what she told herself.

It was more than that, however. She wasn't ready to sit in certain classrooms without Sousuke yet.

With time on her hands, Kaname had gone on a tear. Not certain which exact emotions or motivations were driving her at every given moment, she threw her heart and soul into her cleanup duties, singing and humming as she took to her tasks with a vengeance. If Sousuke fought with that much determination, he would be home safe in no time.

Anything that was dusty, got dusted. Everything that was out of place, got put away. If something was loose, it got tightened. When she came across items that were faded, frayed, or faulty, they were quickly painted, trimmed, or fixed.

At one point, she had leaned up against the wall to catch her breath. She had just finished lugging a noisy whirring contraption with her through more than two dozen rooms. "Nature abhors a vacuum." She kicked the idle device at her feet. "And so do I"  
**  
**After resting a bit, she found her second wind. Spurred on by a sudden burst of energy, she had gathered up every piece of clothing that Sousuke owned out of drawers, off of hangers, from beneath various beds, and from the bottom of baskets, hampers, and travel bags. Her sleeves rolled up, and her long skirt tied high, she got ready do a marathon laundry session.

She stopped in her rush onward, like a tornado that simply died out and vanished. There were others things she could do with her time, and the steam laundry would do a much finer job. She bundled everything up, planning on taking them in to be cleaned.

Before she got busy again, Kaname decided to have some fun. Feeling somewhat giddy, she ran to find a pen and pad of paper. She wrote short notes to Sousuke. Some were just silly. Others were romantic. A fair number were rather risqué, even scandalous. Feeling mischievous, she left them in any place that she thought Sousuke would have a good chance of finding them. She saved the sexiest ones for his school books and back pack.

He should have known better than to leave during _that_ kind of moment. Lucky for him, she was the forgiving sort. She would find suitably demonstrative ways to express her forgiveness, just as she had that night in her apartment. 'You're so much more than a soldier. It's time you started seeing that. If you can't see it for yourself, just watch me. I'll find plenty of ways to show you. This is one...' She had kissed him after that. He had been shocked at first, but gradually came around. Sousuke had make great strides after that night. It was another sure sign of her green thumb.

She had grown since then, too. There wasn't anything that the two of them couldn't accomplish. Together.

Kaname couldn't help but feel content, thinking back to that night she and Sousuke had cooked together. She had surprised herself and come on pretty strong. But, that had paid big dividends. The two of them had begun opening up to each other, saying things they had never said before. There had been so much she wanted to know about Sousuke, and so much that she wanted to tell him. That night, she had tried to plant a very important seed in Sousuke's mind. 'There... is... more... to life... than just... surviving...'

Not only did she want to give him every reason to come home that she could, she also wanted to make his life as enjoyable as possible. She was determined to do her best to remain hopeful and optimistic, not only for her sake, but also for Sousuke's. The happier she seemed, the more confident he would be. The more confident he became, the further their relationship would grow.

She smiled, thinking about another saying. 'A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.' It was up to her to show him the value of a woman who would be bad only for him.

'Please don't condemn me to a life alone. You are the only woman I have ever wanted to care about. I wouldn't have ever learned what it meant to care for someone if you hadn't given me a reason.' She sighed contentedly, remembering that. It was wonderful, caring for a man who didn't have a roving eye or an uncontrollable itch. She would make certain that he never had any reason to look elsewhere.

'I would rather live one month or one year with you and discover all the things I never had reason to discover before, than throw away those chances because I'm afraid of what happens when I let them go.' Those had been bold words at the time she spoke them. They may not have been entirely true at the time. But, they were true now.

Swinging the securely tied bundle of laundry over her shoulder, Kaname made her way into the lobby, through the door, and onto the sidewalk. After dodging less-encumbered passersby for a few blocks, she dropped off the clothing, took a receipt, and headed off towards her next stop.

Hearing sirens, she turned. An ambulance sped by, weaving its way carefully through the light traffic. That caused her to swallow hard, and wonder where Sousuke was. What was he doing at that moment? Was he awaiting launch? Was he in the middle of a pitched battle? Was he hurt?

She felt her heart racing, and her breathing quicken. "Calm down girl," she admonished herself. Sousuke was very good at what he did, at the top of his game. If _anyone _could do the job and make his way home safe, it would be _him. _'She remembered something that he had said to her. 'I have skills. I am very good at what I do. Mithril has need of soldiers of my caliber, and pilots who can work the Lambda Driver system. Mithril works for the good of mankind as a whole, and had prevented a number of serious catastrophes. I have been instrumental in a number of those victories. That's an awesome thought, Kaname. A very powerful truth.'

It was all a matter of perspective. Sousuke's skills would take him away from her. That was bad. But, with any luck, they would keep him coming home safely. That was good. Likewise, his involvement with Mithril was a give and take affair. What it took from him was all too obvious. In return, he had gained admirable character traits, useful skills, and a positive attitude that would serve him well in other aspects of his life. He was also well paid, and had useful and practical connections.

'You deserve stability, Kaname. It would appear that you would wish for someone who is usually at home, even though you have done well on your own.' That was true. But, she had realized that she wanted someone that she could love with every fiber of her being for as longs as she was able. What was the sense of settling for someone who she had all the time, but loved half as much?

'I would like to find the right man. There is someone I'm interested in, but I still need to find out what he wants, and whether or not it makes sense taking a chance on him.**' **She had found her answer. It had been harder convincing him of that fact, but she was certain that Sousuke was coming around to her point of view. How many women were fortunate enough to find men who would enjoy them 'breath by breath... heartbeat to heartbeat... a miracle in everything they said and did' ?

Yes, he still had his own work to do. There were things that he needed to understand about himself, and about her. They both had a lot to do in their relationship. She was looking forward to it, and hoped that Sousuke felt the same way.

Kaname waited patiently for a number of workers to move bundles of topsoil out of the gardening store and into a customer's car. Entering the shop, she arranged for a sizeable delivery of potting soil, fertilizer, and a harness mounted watering system. Walking through the hothouses she placed tags on the flats of plants she wanted, sat smaller items in her cart, and ran through a number of other memories that had left an indelible mark on her.

She had always believed that she was learning a great deal during her time at Tokyo University. Fingering one lovely cluster of orchids, she realized that she had learned so much more from her time with Sousuke. Her father as apt to complain about the cost of higher education now and again. But, there was no doubt that the most important things that she was learning didn't cost him a single yen.

Her happiness did not come free, but she was willing to pay whatever price she had to. Somewhere, a young man fought for the freedom of others. The people he saved would never even know his name. She would do what she could to thank him.

'You do want to change some for me, don't you Sousuke?' She had pouted and fluttered her eyebrows, capturing Sousuke's attention. 'Yes. Will you do the same, Kaname?' The question that he asked had been in all seriousness. Her answer had not. 'Maybe,' she had said impishly. 'For me, it's optional.'

Waiting in line to pay for her purchases, Kaname answered that question again.

"Affirmative."

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Kaname had been so busy on Monday, that her mind never had much time for idle thought.

That had been a plus. It helped the day pass quickly.

Likewise, Tuesday went about as well as she could have expected. School hadn't startedoff well. Those annoying girls had commented on Sousuke's absence, and she found that rather petty. Why should anyone hold a grudge after being knocked down by the water from a fire hose?

Some of the troublesome guys had felt a little less timid as well, but soon found out that they had walked into the teeth of a buzz saw. Kaname had **_not_** been in the mood for any nonsense. Some of the things that she had come out and said surprised even her. It may not have been ladylike, but it was effective. Those who made a mistake by denigrating Sousuke in his absence received special treatment.

Her mood that day hadn't been helped by the fact that she was so very tired after all of her mental, emotional, and physical exertion. And, it was not a plus, having to sit through her least favorite classes and dullest lectures. Her neck was sore from nodding off so many times.

But, after school, things picked up considerably. Kaname took delivery of the items that she had ordered from the gardening shop, and busied herself with her one woman urban renewal project. Most of her planting and watering had been finished before bed time that evening.

While she still wasn't eating or sleeping much, she _did_ eat and she _did_ sleep. A number of times she woke up, expecting to feel Sousuke's hand on her breast or see him laying next to her. When she finally managed to fall back to sleep, the images she saw were those from the time she bared her heart to him. 'I do love you, Sousuke. Do you know that?" She had stood in front of him, backed up against him, and then pulled his arms around her. Very much.'

He hadn't told her that he loved her. That had been her greatest hope. But, what he said to her might well be the equivalent of that. 'The way things have been with you in this house... I would never want you to leave me...' Sousuke had not been acting or saying the things that he knew she wanted to hear. The truth had been in his eyes. He really did care as much for her as he was likely to ever care for anyone.

She had gone on to make her intentions clear. 'Sousuke... I would like you to spend the night with me.' He had accepted her offer. She could remember the feelings she experienced while he was undressing her, looking at her, and touching her.

And in her dreams, that beeper went off again. And again. And again.

Each time, she woke up.

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Wednesday went much like Tuesday.

It was a day later, so she worried a few minutes more when she woke up that morning. But, she was a day older, a day wiser, and a day stronger, so the rest of the day went easier for her.

Class was far more enjoyable, as she had some of her favorite courses and teachers on that day. One particular lecture started her daydreaming about Sousuke again. _'The hypothalamus is one of the most important parts of the brain, involved in many kinds of motivation, among other functions. The hypothalamus controls the "Four F's": fighting, fleeing, feeding, and mating.' _

She didn't spend too much time fantasizing about fighting, fleeing, or feeding. No. Her mind was squarely focused on something else._  
_  
That lecture was the high point of her day. Not only did it get her to think about the wonderful parts of Saturday night, but it also gave her a chance to walk by the harem girls and give them an infuriating and knowing smile. The joke that finished the lecture also had her smiling. _'A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is smoking a cigarette with a satisfied smile on its face and the egg is frowning and looking put out. The egg mutters to no one in particular "I guess we answered that question".' _

She would have to remember to tell it to Sousuke. Three years ago, he would have simply stared and given her a perplexed 'uh.' He better not do it now!_  
_  
After classes, Kaname headed off to the grocery store, stocking up on less perishable items. She couldn't know what day or night Sousuke might get home, but she would fix him a great meal when he did, whatever the hour… and whether he was hungry or not!

He would need to get his strength up. She had plans for him. _'There is no sight on earth more appealing than the sight of a woman making dinner for someone she loves.'_ Kaname would make damn sure that Sousuke realized that.

She spent most of that evening catching up on her schoolwork.

Pen in hand, she fell asleep.

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Thursday started rather poorly.

It was a terribly stormy day, with strong gusts of wind.

Her umbrella blew inside out, before a strong rush of wind carried it away altogether. Slipping on the stairs up to one building, she had broken her heel. When she sat down at her seat, dripping wet, she realized that she had forgotten her lunch.

Wonderful. Oh so wonderful.

Worst of all, she had forgotten her cellular phone. If Sousuke wanted to call her, she wouldn't know until she got back home and checked the answering machine.

When classes were _finally_ over, she was pleased to see that the rains had stopped and that the sun had come out. She wouldn't be able to work on any more projects that night, since had a lot of studying to do. But that didn't mean she couldn't take time to go out for a nice stroll after she got home and changed her shoes.

Walking down the avenue in front of the college, she stopped. She swallowed hard and held her breath. There was no way she could run in those mismatched and mangled shoes, so she simply kicked them off, not caring how wet the roadway was or how she might look.

**It was Sousuke!_  
_**  
He was striding towards her in a decidedly calm manner, his large bag slung over one shoulder. He moved with a slight limp. He hadn't stopped back at the apartment building. He had obviously come here, aware of her daily schedule.

Why wasn't he waving? No, why wasn't he running? The big idiot should rush over to her, speak his undying love, then pick her up in his arms and swing her around. Well, she could be dignified too. Not to mention demure. If someone was going to break down first, it would be _him_.

She stood, letting him close the distance between them.

Yes. She had done altogether too much chasing of Sousuke. It was time to just relax and enjoy her efforts. It was his turn to make the big effort. Kaname's resolve lasted all of fifteen seconds. "Souuusss-_kaaaaaaaaaaaaay_..." She sprinted at full speed, a locomotive just barely staying on the tracks. There was no way that the brakes would stop her in time.

_She didn't care.  
_  
Just a step closer than four feet from him, she launched herself into the air. No doubt her weight would carry him to the ground. That was just fine. He would break her fall. She was correct. With one arm, Sousuke grabbed her when she landed hard against him. His feet slid a bit on the wet pavement, but he didn't stumble or fall. After holding her for a few moments, he spoke. "I'm back," he said, with the same tone of voice and sincerity he might use to say 'Look, the rain has stopped.'

Kaname didn't say anything. She just put her arms around him and squeezed him with all her might. Tears came to her eyes, and her throat felt like it was swollen. When Sousuke gasped, Kaname stood back to see what was wrong. She didn't have to ask anything. Her face made her question clear.

"I am slightly injured," Sousuke said.

"Sousuke..." Kaname felt guilty, having treated him so roughly, even if it was all an expression of her love for him. "Was your Arm Slave damaged?"

"No, Kaname. It was Kurz and Melissa. When I arrived on _Da Danaan_, they had noticed a change in me. They also noticed that I was in a particularly foul mood. Kurz, of course, guessed the same thing he always does. _This_ time he was right. My reaction gave me away."

"I _see_," Kaname said, furrowing her brow. "Besmirching my reputation, were you?" She couldn't help but smile. Sousuke was back. He was safe. She could forgive him anything.

"Uh... no... not really." Sousuke looked guilty. "I did my best to protect your honor. It was my duty. You _did_ wish to be my Lady, did you not?"

"Yes." Kaname blushed, then smiled again. She couldn't wait until Sousuke saw all the work she had done in his demesne while he was gone. She gave him a look that he could pour on a waffle. "So, what happened?"

"Kurz had decided to broadcast his suspicions over the ship intercom. I was able to diffuse that situation easily enough, without any long lasting injury to Sgt. Weber. _Then_, things got dangerous." Sousuke sighed. Kurz should have known better.

"Dangerous?" Kaname raised an eyebrow.

"Kurz decided that we should celebrate, using Melissa's 'hidden' stash of beer. Sgt. Major Mao's response was predictable. She was aiming for him. She hit me."

Kaname hid a smile behind her hand. The big idiot goes off to fight some fierce and deadly enemy, but gets injured by his squad mates.

"Despite his antics, Sgt. Weber has earned my respect. He is much tougher than he looks. He would have to be, to take the kind of beating he does from Mao." Sousuke explained that he had a rather nasty bruise on his thigh. Kaname promised that she would give it special attention later.

_She didn't want it getting in their way. _

"Feeling bad, they took up a collection for me." Sousuke looked a little sheepish when he said that. That immediately caught Kaname's attention.

"_Collection?" _Kaname wondered how many people knew about Sousuke and her now. She might have to find some dastardly way to repay Kurz. "Did they collect money for you? Did someone buy you a nice present, or some kind of gag gift?"

"Uhhh... no." Sousuke didn't elaborate. His eyes looked a little wild.

"Well..." Kaname had to find out what had him acting strange.

"Kaname?" Sousuke tried his old standby, but playing dumb wouldn't work any more.

Kaname just stood there tapping her foot. Faster and faster. She began to scowl. "Did you know that when our fellow countrymen mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold." Kaname grinned an evil grin. "They believe that when something's suffered damage, and has a history, it becomes more beautiful."

Running his hand through his hair, Sousuke gave Kaname a befuddled look. "Broken? What is broken, Kaname"

Kaname just stared at Sousuke, rubbing her hands together. Sousuke straightened his shoulders and stood his ground. He too had been learning things over the past month. Kaname put both hands on her hips. Her eyes narrowed. Sousuke looked up at the few leaves still clinging vainly to the ginko trees.

"_Sousuke!_" Kaname gave in. She was the first one to break the silence. It was OK. Her feet were getting cold, and she didn't want to get sick. "Either tell me what they got for you, or go fetch my shoes over there." She pointed.

Smiling, Sousuke headed off for the shoes. Kaname stamped her foot, realizing too late that she would be stamping the hard black top. Sousuke won back some of her favor, by getting down on one knee and helping her on with her shoes._  
_  
"They didn't collect money, Kaname." Sousuke wisely understood that the game had gone on long enough. He put his bag on the ground and unzipped it. He nodded towards it, then coughed. Kaname bent over, making certain that she brushed back against Sousuke. Her eyes went wide when she saw what was in the bag.

**It was filled near the brim with condoms.**_  
_  
At first she was too shocked for words. Then, she smiled, her eyes taking on a rather mischievous look. "Sousuke, I want to know the name and address for _everyone_ who contributed to your special fund." She tossed her hair, feeling free and easy for the first time in days.

"Kaname?" Sousuke couldn't quite fathom her request.

"It looks like I have a **_lot_** of 'Thank You' notes to write!"

With that, she wrapped her arms around Sousuke and gave him a long deep kiss.

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_THE END_


End file.

Full Metal Panic