JAG 1. Chapter 1

**Setting a Course**

By Bernadeen

Rated: T

Disclaimer: I don't own and claim no rights to any of these wonderful characters. This story is only for entertainment purposes.

Summary: Harm decides it's time to move his relationship with Mac forward.

Spoilers: This takes place during the last half season 7 sometime between "The Mission" and "Tribunal," so anything up to that time might be referenced.

Written summer 2002

A/N: This is the first JAG fanfic I wrote. I began dabbling in writing because I wanted the characters to do something different from what TPTB were letting them do. Or I wanted to create my own JAG adventures. After all, fanfiction is an adult's way of playing with action figures from a favorite show.

**Chapter 1**

_1900 EDT, Thursday_

_North of Union Station_

_Washington DC_

Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr., USN, finished clearing away his supper dishes and moved around the kitchen island to the living space in his apartment. He reached for his briefcase, intending to do some work. Pulling out the file he needed to review, he sat on the couch and began reading.

A half hour later he realized that he wasn't comprehending or remembering the words he was seeing. His mind was wandering, not to anything in particular, but definitely away from the subject of his work. Oh, well, he had some time tomorrow. He finally tossed the file on top of his briefcase and leaned back on the couch to think.

As usual when he allowed his mind to wander, his first thoughts were of his partner, Marine Lieutenant Colonel Sarah MacKenzie. They had been partners for six years. They had certainly had some adventures together, and their friendship had had its ups and downs. Right now he wasn't sure whether it was up or down. He'd jeopardized it when he had returned to flying. It was something that he had to do and he had expected Mac to understand. She hadn't. He realized later that was probably because she had been struggling to come to terms with the emotions surrounding her unhappy childhood, recently brought to the surface by the death of her father and seeing her mother after so many years. He selfishly thought only about his own torn emotions: joy to be flying again but sadness and loss to be leaving his friends and work at JAG.

When it became clear that he had done all he could in a career as a Naval aviator and returned to JAG, everything was different. Somehow, he naively thought he could step back into that world without missing a beat. Bud and Harriett had welcomed him back. Even the Admiral hadn't punished him for leaving by giving him undesirable cases. But Mac had changed. Her relationship with Mic Brumby, the Australian Navy lawyer on temporary assignment to JAG, had also changed. It seemed to Harm that Mac and Mic now had the easy, companionable friendship that Harm and Mac used to have. And beyond that, there were Mic's flirtatious remarks to Mac that would have gotten U.S. military personnel written up. But Mic could get away with it as long as he kept it away from the Admiral's ears. Mac should have given Mic a red light, but she seemed to enjoy it.

Harm didn't want to dwell once again on the disastrous trip to Sidney, on Mac's engagement to Mic, and on his feeling of despair at the thought of losing Mac's friendship once she was married to another man. For as much as Mac had assured him that they would remain friends, they both knew that their relationship could not endure Mac's marriage.

Finally, at Mac's engagement party, he had admitted to himself, and almost to Mac, that it was more than a friend he was losing. He was losing the woman he loved. His own sense of honor and personal insecurities joined up to hold him back from telling her how he felt. He really had been compelled to get to her wedding, even though it would have caused him more pain then he could even imagine to watch her marry another man.

Instead, he almost died in the Atlantic Ocean. Though he hated himself for it, a small secret place in his heart was happy that his mishap had stopped the wedding. When Mic had finally called it quits and gone back to Australia, Mac had been so hurt. She had really loved the guy in some fashion. And when she needed Harm's comfort, circumstances had prevented him from helping her. Then the obstacles of time, distance and duty managed to block his efforts to clear the air between them.

Finally he gave up. If he could regain a measure of her friendship, maybe that's all he could expect. For the rest, maybe anything more just wasn't meant to be.

But the world had changed in the last year. Mac and Harm's cases had many times brought them into dangerous situations. Now, however, the risks were higher. The threat more real. And as the vision of Mac's laughing face swam across his mind, his heart suddenly constricted at the thought of her laughter stopping. Of their not seeing each other for whatever reason. Harmon Rabb was not one to give up easily. Why was he thinking of resigning himself to some luke warm friendship with Sarah MacKenzie? The thought and determination leaped across his mind.

A trace of the uncertainty that had accompanied the years of friendship with Mac came drifting back. How did she feel? Sure, that night in Sidney harbor she made it pretty clear that she wanted more then friendship. But a lot of things had happened since that time. Did she still want to risk it?

All right, let's find out, Harm thought. What if I met Mac today and she wasn't my partner? What if I felt this same attraction, the same chemistry? What if we were at the beginning, just like Mac had suggested after the JAG-a-thon? What would I do? If I felt this kind of electrifying response to someone I'd just met, I'd probably run like hell, he thought wryly. She'd scare me to death.

But if I could get up the nerve, I'd call her for a date. Well, why not? Mac and I have spent a lot of time together, but I wouldn't call any of the times a date. I'll test the waters tomorrow, he decided. With that decision made, he picked up the file and found he could now concentrate on preparing for tomorrow's hearing.

_0900 EDT, Friday_

_JAG HQ_

_Falls Church, VA_

Harm had been in early. He was ready for the hearing at 1000. He had attended the staff briefing with the Admiral, and now he tried to work out how and when to put his plan into action. Mac was working hard on a big case with Sturgis. By the end of the day, maybe she would be receptive to an invitation to dinner the next evening.

_1630 EDT, Friday_

_JAG HQ_

Mac returned wearily to her office. It had been a long day, but she felt that she and Sturgis would be ready for court on Monday. She would continue to review the file this weekend, but maybe she would have some time to relax, too.

She swung her chair to stare vacantly at the Marine recruiting poster on her wall. Just for a minute she closed her eyes and thought about the past. God, how she missed the times when she and Harm had worked on cases together and they spent evenings or weekends at one of their apartments preparing, discussing, developing strategies. She was developing a strong friendship with Sturgis and he was a good lawyer. But he wasn't Harm. But then, no one was, for her.

At the soft knock, she swung around and opened her eyes, to see the object of her thoughts standing in the doorway of her office. He smiled sympathetically. "Long day?"

"Yeah. Long week," she sighed.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine. Just looking forward to the weekend."

"You have special plans?" Harm held his breath. Maybe she had something planned. He'd finally gotten his nerve up to do this and he didn't want to have to delay until another time.

"No .. just some time to relax before this trial next week. I haven't thought beyond that."

"How about taking your mind completely off the case and coming out to dinner with me tomorrow night?" Harm was proud of his light, off-hand delivery of the invitation while his stomach was fluttering.

Mac stared at him for a second, as though she were expecting a trick. "You mean … like a date?" she hoped she didn't sound as breathless as she felt.

"Yeah, like a date. I'll pick you up at 1900. Wear something nice."

"You don't have to pick me up. I can meet you somewhere." She wasn't thinking very clearly and said the first thing that came to her.

"This a _date_, remember? I'll pick you up tomorrow night." He flashed her his wonderful smile and was gone.

Mac sat for a few minutes, wondering what just happened. They had been in limbo for nearly a year. She had needed the time to come to terms with her broken engagement and the feelings awakened by Harm's brush with death. Harm had tried to get her to talk about things – ironic that he was usually the one ducking personal discussions – but she wasn't ready and managed to avoid him. Then he seemed to give up. When she finally started to find her equilibrium again, she was sad to realize that they probably had missed their chance once again. But it was just too complicated to pursue yet. Harm had been right about that. Any relationship between her and Harm beyond professional would be complicated.

Now what was happening? Was he actually taking the initiative? Her stomach fluttered and her heart was pounding. She hadn't felt this rush of excitement and nervousness about a date since … well, maybe never. She had missed all of those times in her teens. When she got married at 18, she drowned all feelings in alcohol. She had enjoyed Mic's persistent courtship but he hadn't made her feel the way she was feeling now.

She had intended to work for another couple of hours, but her concentration was all blown to hell now. Damn you, Harm, she thought, but was far from angry with him. She threw some files in her briefcase, grabbed her cover, and quickly left the office.

_0600, Saturday_

_Mac's apartment_

_Georgetown_

Mac had spent a restless night. Her mind wouldn't shut down. When she drifted to sleep, her dreams were filled with a certain tall Navy officer with the rich, expressive voice and flashing smile. Sometimes he was walking away from her, never to come back. She was crying and calling his name, but he didn't hear her. Other times he was holding her and kissing her and her world was exploding with joy.

She awoke from a particularly dark and disturbing dream, much of which she couldn't remember in detail. There was the image of cold, stormy seas and a profound sense of loss. She decided to get up rather than try to sleep again and chance another ugly dream.

Time to explore her wardrobe for tonight. She suspected that as soon as the stores were open, she would have to make a shopping trip for a dress. Nothing she owned seemed right. He said wear something nice. How like a man's description. She wished she knew where he was taking her. Still, the 'something nice' remark indicated a fancy restaurant of some kind. She didn't want to disappoint him. A quick inventory of her closet confirmed the need for a new dress, and shoes, of course. She would have loved to have another woman's opinion on the dress, but she hesitated to call Harriett. Mac wasn't sure where this was going, and her instincts were to keep this date to herself for now.

_1630 EDT, Saturday_

_Mac's apartment_

_Georgetown_

Mac juggled her packages as she opened her apartment door, struggled through it, and kicked it shut behind her. Heading through to her bedroom, she dumped her purchases on the bed and began unwrapping her new clothes. The dress was a deep rusty bonze silk, matching the red highlights in her hair. She held it up to her and remembered how it had clung to her body and flowed around her legs. The shoes had three-inch heels and were held on her feet by black, barely there straps. She seldom wore really high heels, both for comfort reasons and because she was already tall. But Harm was taller and even three-inch heels wouldn't rival his height.

The thought made her stop and contemplate the evening ahead. Her heart rate increased, her palms were sweating and she admitted to herself that she was nervous … nervous, for God's sake! She had known the man for six years. They had seen each other at their best and at their worst. They had been through hell together. Why did this feel so different? Because it is different, you idiot! Is he really going somewhere with this date? Is he at last ready to let go? Or did he ask you on the spur of the moment because you had had a tiring week? She asked herself all these questions but she had no answers. She told herself she shouldn't get her hopes up. It was probably just a spur of the moment invitation. She had to play it cool and not embarrass herself, like she had on the ferry in Sidney harbor.

She started to pace. It was only 1657. Two hours and 3 minutes until he came to pick her up. If she started to get ready now, she'd be way too early. So she paced. She looked out the window, thinking a run would help pass the time and work off some of her nervous energy. Lightening flickered in the clouds and she heard the distant thunder for the first time. Nuts, she thought. A little rain wouldn't stop her, but she didn't really want to be hit by lightening. I'll leave that to Harmon Rabb, she chuckled to herself, remembering a stolen kiss on the admiral's porch that had shocked her more than a lightening bolt. All right, girl, get a grip! This is just dinner. What's the big deal?

Stupid question, she chided herself, as she headed for the bathroom. Maybe a soak in the tub would help her unwind. She was about to start filling the tub when she realized that she needed action, not inaction. The hell with the storm! She'd run anyway – just keep a watchful eye on the weather.

Quickly changing to running shorts and tank top, she was out of the apartment door and running down the stairs. She hit the street at a good clip, heading for the park. She'd covered more than a mile when she felt her calf muscle begin to cramp. He's got you in a real tail spin, she scolded herself, as she realized she had neglected to do her normal stretching and warming up routine. Her muscle pulled into a knot in spite of her attempt to stretch it and she hobbled to a bench, grinding her teeth in pain. So much for her run. Finally, after several painful minutes rubbing and stretching the knotted muscle, it began to release. Mac took a deep breath and willed her muscles to relax. Finally, she got up and began her usual stretching. However, her calf muscle was too sore to run much further. She didn't want to let it tighten up on her, though, so she forced herself into a slow limping jog back to her apartment. Once there, she would take that tub soak in hopes that she could walk without flinching tonight.

After a long soak in hot water, two aspirin and more massage, the strained muscle felt almost back to normal. As she finished drying herself, a quick check of her internal clock told her she could at last begin dressing for the evening.

She forced herself not to rush too quickly so that she was ready only ten minutes before Harm was scheduled to arrive. He often was a little late for appointments so when she heard a knock on her door at 1858, she was impressed at his punctuality.

She opened the door and stepped back for him to enter. He was dressed in a conservative dark suit, dark gray tie and soft gray shirt. He was breath-takingly handsome, but she wasn't going to add to the size of his ego by letting him know that she could barely speak, just looking at him.

He, on the other hand, didn't try to hide his admiration of her appearance. His voice was unusually husky as he said, "Wow, that's the best definition of 'something nice' that I've ever seen. You look beautiful!"

She wished she had one of her usual witty responses, but could only murmur, "Thank you. I'll just get my wrap." She scooped a light-weight, matching silk cape from a chair a few steps away. Harm took it from her and expertly draped it over her shoulders. She picked up her small purse and said, "Ready."

His Vette was parked at the curb. There was a chill in the air so he had left the top up. Walking to the passenger side, he opened the door, offered his hand to assist her to enter the car, and made sure her skirt and cape were safely inside before carefully closing the door. He opened his own door and slid behind the wheel. As he glanced over at her, he saw her slightly bemused expression. "What?" he questioned. She just shook her head and didn't say anything. After a couple of seconds, the Vette rumbled to life and they were off.

Mac's bemused expression was because she was thinking how different it was to have Harm open the car door for her. Oh, she knew he could be the perfect gentleman. Yet most times when they got into vehicles, it wouldn't have entered either of their thoughts for Harm to open her door. They were working and they were equals. It wasn't that she felt inferior to have a man open her door. In this case, she just felt special.

Neither seemed inclined to talk as Harm found his way through Saturday evening traffic. When he pulled up in front of a new, very popular restaurant called Azure, she raised her eyebrows in surprise. The valet opened Mac's door and Harm came around to take her arm, dropping his keys in the attendant's hand.

The restaurant was crowded, the lobby filled with people waiting to be seated. Harm confidently guided her toward the maitre'd station. When the maitre'd caught sight of Harm and Mac, he bowed slightly, and said, "Commander Rabb, ma'am. Your table is ready. If you'll follow me, please."

As they were seated at a well-situated, quiet table along a window overlooking the Mall, Mac was very impressed. She shouldn't have been surprised at Harm's ability to get last-minute reservations at an extremely popular restaurant, and to be known by the maitre'd, but it just didn't occur to her that he would be so good at this kind of thing.

She finally looked at him and felt a familiar smile on her lips. "All right, I'm very impressed, Commander Rabb. This restaurant is lovely and I know it's very popular. How did you manage to get reservations?"

Harm smiled his wonderful smile and teased, "Just my power and influence in DC." At Mac's skeptical look, he relented. "All right. Frank, the maitre'd, is one of the guys I play basketball with most Saturdays at the Y."

"Well, I'm glad you know the right people." She glanced around and recognized several members of Congress and other high-level government officials. "I'm becoming more impressed every minute. We'd better order before I become so intimidated that I lose my appetite."

Harm chuckled. "That'll be the day."

"That I lose my appetite or that I'm intimidated by powerful politicians?"

"Either one – take your pick." Harm looked at her, his eyes filled with laughter and something more.

During dinner, they bantered and teased, much as they had in the old days. As they discussed several recent cases, they became more serious, but by mutual unspoken understanding, they moved back to more light-hearted topics.

As Mac finished her dessert, she leaned back, feeling mellow and contented and loved .. yes, loved. The thought skipped through her mind, but she couldn't dwell on it now. "Harm, I can't remember when I've enjoyed an evening so much. Thank you."

"Well, it's not over yet if you're up for a little action." There was a twinkle in Harm's eyes.

The remark could have several meanings, but Mac took it at face value and asked innocently, "What do you have in mind?"

"There happens to be a club right next door that has a band and a dance floor. Are you willing to risk it?"

Mac was only too happy to continue the evening. "Let's go, sailor."

As Harm had promised, next to the restaurant was a night club with a live dance band. They found a small table near the dance floor. The current song was lively and slightly old-fashioned. The dancers had many interpretations of how to dance to it. Harm and Mac took to the floor and found themselves in perfect rhythm. Though Mac had once teased Harm about his lack of dance skills, tonight she had no complaints. They moved to the music as though it were in their very soles. As the music slowed, Harm pulled Mac closer in his arms.

Harm closed his eyes as they moved to the music. The clean scent of her hair and the feel of her in his arms were intoxicating. He was finally here with her and it was wonderful. After all the nervousness and worry he had experienced since Friday afternoon, Harm could hardly believe the evening was going so well. Don't blow it now, sailor, he admonished himself. Don't move too fast.

But his body wasn't listening. It was involuntarily reacting to her closeness and his desire for her. Reluctantly he stepped slightly away so as not to give himself away and embarrass both of them. Luckily the song was ending and it was natural to go back to their table. The hour was growing late, and even though he wanted to go on holding her, he asked if she was ready to leave. At her smile and nod, he placed her cape on her shoulders, his fingers lingering just a bit.

They were quiet once again as Harm drove back towards Mac's apartment. For Mac's part, she was wondering what would happen when they got there. Her mind was torn apart at the moment. Just before the last song ended, she thought she felt evidence of Harm's desire for her. How far did she want this to go tonight? Things were moving too fast. It had been a wildly wonderful evening, but she desperately wanted to take this a step at a time. It would take some getting used to if her partner became her lover. As many times as she had dreamed of that very thing, it would complicate things for them. She would like to have more evenings like this first. Yet if he asked her, would she risk losing him if she said no? Would he think she was rejecting him? God, relationships were complicated!

Harm walked her to her door and waited for her to use her key to open it. As she started to lead the way in, Harm stopped her with a hand on her arm. "Mac, I .. I'm not going to come in … "

Mac turned to him and her eyes told him that she understood perfectly and it was okay. "That's probably a good idea." She said quietly, raising her hand so her fingers gently touched his cheek. "I had a fabulous time. Dare I hope that you'll ask me on a second date?"

"I definitely want a second date, Sarah." He said quietly. He hesitated. "Are you a girl that kisses on the first date?" he asked, with a teasing grin.

"Usually not …" she smiled happily, but as Harm started to back away, she added quickly, "but I sometimes make exceptions for military men." She stepped close and said softly, "Don't give up so easily, sailor."

Mac literally held her breath. She desperately wanted a real kiss with Harm, not one where he was seeing her as someone else or guiltily stepping over the line with an engaged woman. His arms slipped around her and he kissed her with tenderness and just enough passion to promise wonderful things to come. He stepped back and whispered, "Good night, Sarah."

Then he was gone and she turned to her dark apartment. She flipped on the light and leaned back against the door. This feeling was completely new to her. She hugged herself and couldn't stop smiling. She actually danced and skipped a bit and laughed out loud. 'You're losing it, Marine," she tried to tell herself. But there was no stopping this feeling. She was a Lieutenant Colonel in the United States Marine Corps and she was as giddy as a teenager with her first crush. 'All right, indulge yourself this weekend, because come Monday, you'll have to suck it up and remain strictly professional at the office,' she admonished herself. She could do that. The Marines taught self-discipline and she had learned well. But when she was alone here in her home, she could let her thoughts range to all sorts of wonderful imaginings. Just reliving their kiss brought a delicious shiver of desire. God, but the man knew how to kiss!

She needed to do some work this weekend so she had to get some sleep. Her emotions were so high that she doubted that sleep would come anytime soon. After carefully removing her dress and hanging it away, she took a quick shower, hoping it would relax her. As she slid into bed, she realized her calf muscle was aching. Funny, she hadn't noticed it all evening, even while dancing. Well, she was probably high on endorphins all evening. Surprisingly, minutes after laying her head on her pillow, she felt herself drift towards sleep.

End Chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2

**Setting a Course**

By Bernadeen

Summary: Harm decides it's time to move his relationship with Mac forward.

**From Chapter 1**

Mac needed to do some work this weekend so she had to get some sleep. Her emotions were so high that she doubted that sleep would come anytime soon. After carefully removing her dress and hanging it away, she took a quick shower, hoping it would relax her. As she slid into bed, she realized her calf muscle was aching. Funny, she hadn't noticed it all evening, even while dancing. Well, she was probably high on endorphins all evening. Surprisingly, minutes after laying her head on her pillow, she felt herself drift towards sleep.

**Chapter 2**

Her dreams were filled with her sailor and her together, laughing, playing, dancing, making love. Wonderful dreams that had her smiling in her sleep. Then towards morning, the dream was different. She saw dark, stormy water; she felt desperately afraid – it was her fear but also she could feel Harm's fear. Then there was nothing but a terrible sense of loss and sadness. The admiral was telling her Harm had been lost at sea. That his plane had gone down and he hadn't been able to eject.

Mac woke up with tears on her cheeks and a sob in her throat. It was so real. And when Mac's dreams were so real, sometimes they meant something. That really scared her. She told herself it was just a recurrence of Harm's mishap in the Atlantic on the day before her wedding was supposed to take place.

The dream had disturbed her so deeply that her internal clock wasn't working and her bedside clock read 0417. She debated with herself exactly five minutes and 38 seconds – apparently her internal clock had kicked in again – before picking up the phone and punching the speed dialing button for Harm's home phone. She had to hear his voice for reassurance.

He answered groggily on the third ring. "Harm, I'm so sorry to disturb you .. "

"Mac, what's wrong?" Harm was instantly wide awake and worried.

"I feel so stupid now but I … I had a terrible dream … your plane went down at sea and you weren't able to eject .. and the admiral was telling me that you …" a sob stopped her from continuing.

"Mac, Mac, listen to me. It was just a dream. It probably goes back to my mishap in the Atlantic. I'm okay. I don't plan to be flying anytime soon. It's three months until my next quals … Mac, do you want me to come over? … Are you all right?"

"This is silly. I'm okay. But sometimes my dreams are more than just dreams and that's what scared me. You go back to sleep. I'm sorry I called."

"Mac, don't ever be sorry you called me if you need me. Promise me? Mac?"

"All right .."

When there was no further response, Harm said, "Listen, I'll bring over breakfast. 0900, okay? I won't stay long. I'll just check in so you can see that I'm okay."

"Thanks, Harm. I don't ever want to be one of those clinging females, but I would like to see you."

Harm's snort of laughter brought back Mac's sense of reality. "You, a clinging female .. never!" he stated emphatically, although still chuckling.

"Yeah, well … good night, Harm. See you at 0900."

_0900 EDT, Sunday_

_Mac's apartment_

The knock on her door brought Mac running from the bedroom. She had barely gotten her shower and dressed, after having overslept. She pulled the door wide and allowed Harm to enter carrying a bag with their breakfast. He set it on her kitchen counter and then turned to pull her into his arms. He just held her tightly while she clung to him, reassuring herself of his warmth and vitality. His aliveness …

Finally he pulled back slightly and said, "See, I'm okay. Are you okay?"

She looked up at his wonderful, though slightly worried smile, and said, "I'm much better now. Let's eat."

With a relieved laugh, Harm started pulling coffee and bagels from the bag.

As they ate, Mac asked, "When are your next quals?"

"In just over three months."

"Any chance you'll be flying before that?"

"Not that I know of now, but you know what happened on the Seahawk. I hadn't planned to fly there, either. That's not likely to happen again, but if I have a chance to fly, I won't say no. You know that, don't you, Mac?"

"Yes, Harm. Flying is part of who you are. I wouldn't ask you to give it up. But I don't want to lose you …"

Harm reached out and gently touched Mac's cheek. "In our business, there are always dangers. Especially in today's world. You know that. We can't let fear dictate our lives."

"I know that as well as you. I'm a Marine, remember?" Mac responded a bit harshly. "It's just that this dream was so real … I felt your fear here …" she put her hand over her heart, " … and it was my own, too. It was tearing my heart out … " she looked away, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

"Oh, Sarah .." Harm reached out and pulled her into his arms, cradling her head against his chest. She lay there quietly for a minute before composing herself and sitting up.

"The last time I had a dream that meant something, I saw myself being killed in the dream. But it was Commander Aikin who was killed. Maybe this dream isn't about you and me, but about someone else that we know."

"God, Mac. I hope it's just a dream. But if it's not, what can we do about it?" After a couple of seconds, he began answering his own question. "I can check the weather reports for storms and any naval ops in those areas. It's possible something has already happened and it's too late to do anything. I'd hate that like hell, but at least we'd know that it wasn't me in your dreams."

"What an awful feeling to hope that it may have happened to someone else." She hung her head sadly. Then she looked up. "My last dream was current; that is, it probably occurred at the same time that the event occurred. It wasn't a premonition. Since you're here and if nothing has happened to a plane today, then it probably was just a bad dream." Mac took a deep breath. "Let's do some checking, okay?"

_1235 EDT, Sunday_

_Mac's apartment_

Harm put down the phone and turned to Mac. She could tell from his voice that in fact something had happened.

"Mac, this morning at 0315 EDT an F-14 from the Patrick Henry went into the Indian Ocean during high seas. However, the pilot and RIO ejected safely. They were picked up within half an hour. It seems your dream was half right."

"The Henry? Harm, do you know who the pilot and RIO were?"

"I didn't get names. Anyway, they're all right." He reached out and wrapped an arm around Mac, pulling her to his side in a comforting half hug. "So either your dream was a coincidence or they aren't always accurate. Remember your other dream .. you were the victim and that was far from the truth."

"I'm so glad my dream wasn't correct, but the fact that I had it at all is still disturbing. What if it happens again? I won't know what to believe."

"I don't know what to say, Mac. You can't live in fear of having another dream about a real event. You would never want to go to sleep and you can't let that happen." He hesitated, not sure of her reaction to his next suggestion. "Maybe you should talk to someone …After both of my crashes, my mind was pretty screwed up. I don't know whether I would have gone on my own, but the Navy required me to see a counselor in order to get back to active duty. I think it helped …" he trailed off as he watched for her reaction.

At first Mac was ready to deny any need to talk to a psychologist, but there had been times in her life when she had been forced to seek out professional help. Most times it had been friends or the military that had gotten her there .. she wouldn't have done it on her own. But she didn't rule out the possibility now. "You're right. If these dreams occur often and they become a bother, I'll find someone to talk to, okay?"

They were still standing together with an arm wrapped around each other's waist. Mac gave a harder squeeze and then stepped away. "So, what now?"

"We both have cases to prepare for tomorrow. Unfortunately, they're not the same cases so it won't do us much good to work together. I'd better get out of here and let you get to it …" He could see disappointment in her eyes. He hesitated. He wanted so badly to stay .. to spend the afternoon and night and forever with her. He was pretty sure she wouldn't throw him out, either. But he didn't want anything to go wrong now. They had to take it one step at a time.

Before he could change his mind, he walked toward the door, then turned back to kiss her goodbye. She came to him so willingly, her lips soft and warm and yielding, parting to let him have access to her mouth. He lingered longer than he intended over the kiss, finally pulling back to look into her eyes. He saw everything he had ever hoped to see there, but also uncertainty. He sighed. "We need to talk, Sarah." He had wanted this conversation to come later, but they both had to be clear about expectations.

He took her hand and led her back to the couch. "Sarah, it's not that I don't want to stay with you. You must know that?"

"I was hoping .. " she replied softly, but left her hopes unexpressed.

"I started us down this road more than a year ago on the admiral's porch. The timing was totally inappropriate and if I hadn't crashed, you'd be happily married to Brumby." He watched a measure of humor change her expressive dark eyes.

"You give yourself an awfully lot of credit, Flyboy." Then she became more serious. "I would have married Mic. He loved me and he was good for me. But I don't think our marriage would have been without a few bumps in the road." She looked up at him. "The biggest bump would have been you."

"So now I'm just a bump in the road?" he grinned, his sense of humor never far away. "You really know how to stroke a man's ego."

"I don't stroke men's egos. I'm a Marine." She shot back, laughing.

He sat for a moment just looking at her. Finally Mac raised her eyebrows and questioned, "What …?"

"I was just thinking how much I've missed this .. this teasing between us. You always were ready with a quick remark when I start to take myself too seriously. We used to be so much fun together and I destroyed that when I left JAG."

"I'll admit it changed things. I missed you so badly but I had to go on. I had no idea that you would ever come back so I buried the disappointment at losing my best friend and just kept going." She raised her head and said briskly, "enough about the past. I thought we were going to talk about the future?"

"Like I said, you always keep me on track," he laughed. Then he became more serious. Picking up her small, strong hand, he held it in both of his large powerful ones. "Sarah, I wanted to have things clear between us after my crash. Then Renee was there and I realized later that the time was still wrong. I wish I could have been there when you were hurting from Mic's leaving, though maybe I would have been the wrong one then. I don't know. Anyway, it just didn't seem to work out. You made it clear that you didn't want to see much of me, so I backed off.

"I thought I could be satisfied with just gaining back your friendship. I didn't know how you felt. Hell, I didn't admit how I felt until it hit me in the face that I was about to lose you to another man. But you seemed so happy with Mic. I would never consciously have done anything to spoil that. I hated myself for my lapse on the admiral's porch."

He stopped and drew a deep breath. "I guess I'm getting into the past again and I do want to talk about now. In the last six years, we've both been in our share of dangerous situations. That's part of military life. But now the world is more dangerous. Our assignments can be even more dangerous. When I was trying to get my damaged Tomcat back to the carrier, the one distraction I allowed myself was thinking about you. I needed to get back because we had never had the talk we needed to have."

"I was so scared that I was going to lose you," Mac admitted. "I kept telling myself that if anyone could get back in one piece, it was you. The toughest part was being the stoic Marine officer on the outside while I felt like a fist was tearing my heart and my guts out." She leaned forward and laid her head against his shoulder. Before Harm could reach out to comfort her, she raised her head and said briskly, "but you enjoyed the hell out of the adventure so let's move on."

"Mac, it's what I do .. fly Tomcats." He said, softly pleading for her understanding.

"Yeah, I know. You wouldn't be the man I … you wouldn't be you if you didn't fly." She could not yet say the words, 'the man I love,' but they hung in the air between them.

Harm smiled a satisfied smile and continued, "as I was saying, the world is crazy and dangerous. I decided that I wouldn't give up on us if there is any chance that you feel what I do. I want to start at the beginning, just like you suggested; hence the first date last night. But I thought we had to be careful… to take it slow. Sarah, if we cross the line between friends and lovers, there is no going back. And if things don't work out, I've lost you completely. That's what scares me. That's why I waited so long."

Mac gazed at Harm with new understanding and respect. God, how she loved this man! He was smart, honorable, kind, capable, fun, and now he was getting it right between them when she hadn't had a clue on how to even start. "Harm, how did you get so smart?"

"I don't know about that .. I've been working out possibilities in my mind for more than a year. I was afraid I would over think the situation and screw it up." He raised her hand to his lips. "Are we okay, then?"

"Absolutely! Harm, I'm so happy you had the courage that I lacked. I want more eventually, but for now I agree that we need to go slowly." She hesitated, thinking about practicalities. "As for tomorrow and working together. We've got to be absolutely professional and do nothing to disrupt the good order and discipline of the office. It's not that I want to hide this new stage in our lives, but it's just that … that it's so new. I don't want people questioning and gossiping yet."

"I agree. We need to live in two worlds for awhile – our personal one and our professional one." He kissed the fingers of the hand he was holding, then laid it back in her lap. "Now I really do have to go. See you in the morning, Sarah." He leaned toward her to place a soft kiss on her lips.

"I like it when you call me Sarah, but you'll have to be careful at work. It would be a dead give away that something is going on." Mac laughed.

"Right you are. Bye, _Mac_." He slightly emphasized her name as if practicing for the office.

After he left, Mac sat replaying their conversation. She hugged herself and felt shivers of excitement run through her body. No man had ever made her feel this way. It was scary because she didn't think she could survive it if she lost him, for any reason. 'Live for the moment, Marine,' she told herself. 'Take what life offers and hang on for the ride.'

End Chapter 2


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed my story. I hope the last chapter pleases you.**

**Setting a Course**

By Bernadeen

Summary: Harm decides it's time to move his relationship with Mac forward.

**Chapter 3**

_0745 EDT, Monday_

_JAG HQ_

_Falls Church, VA_

Mac had been in early to make sure she was organized for court this morning. It was almost time for morning briefing and Harm hadn't shown up. A quiver of worry touched her until she looked up to see him walking toward her office.

"Good morning, Colonel,' he said formally, but with a smile only for her. His back was toward the bullpen so no one else could see it.

Mac had to be more careful. With a quick glance to see where the other staff were, she kept her smile friendly but no more and returned his greeting, "Good morning, Commander. Ready for briefing?"

He stepped back and they walked together to the conference room. Mac and Sturgis updated the Admiral on their court case. Harm and Bud received a new case that would take them out of the office for some interviews and investigation.

After the briefing, Mac was in her office. Sturgis stopped in the doorway. "All set?" he asked.

Mac put her file and a legal pad into her briefcase, clicked it shut, but hesitated. It was too early to head for the court room. Sturgis was looking at her with a knowing twinkle in his dark eyes. She met his glance and wondered whether she was imaging things – he couldn't possibly know anything.

"Did you have a good weekend?" he asked benignly.

"Yes, fine." Mac answered, hoping the answer sounded like a routine response.

Sturgis continued to hover. Finally, he ventured, "Bobbi said she thought she saw you at that new restaurant, the Azure, on Saturday night – you and Harm ..?"

Mac schooled her face to show no reaction but her mind raced. Damn! She should have had an answer ready in case this happened. She and Harm knew a lot of people in Washington. She should have thought of this. She hoped she sounded casual when she answered, "Yes, we were there. It's a lovely restaurant. Did Bobbi enjoy it?"

"She really didn't comment on the restaurant .." Sturgis began.

Before he could say more, Mac picked up her briefcase and said, "We're due in court."

Sturgis raised his eyebrows in a questioning look, but followed her toward the court room without further comment.

When Mac stopped by her office at the end of the day in court, Harm and Bud hadn't returned. Disappointed at not being able to see Harm, she dialed his voicemail. "Harm, Sturgis said Bobbi Lathem saw us at the Azure on Saturday night. I said it was a lovely restaurant and asked whether Bobbi like it. That's about all the conversation we had. Just wanted you to know. .. see you tomorrow."

She had been about to ask him to call her, but decided that would be his decision. She hoped he would call – she wanted to hear his voice. 'You've really got it bad, Marine.' She smiled to herself. Glancing over her desk for any work she should take with her and deciding against it, she picked up her cover and headed for the elevators.

At home she fixed herself a light supper and pulled out a book she had been meaning to read. An hour later she was reclining on her couch, doing more thinking and daydreaming than reading, when the phone rang. Her caller ID told her it was the call she had been waiting for. She picked up the phone, "Hi, sailor," she couldn't suppress the warmth and eagerness in her tone.

Harm heard her welcoming voice and smiled. "How's my Marine?" he asked.

"Your Marine … I like that. And _your Marine_ has had a long day and misses you."

"It has been a long day, mostly because I didn't see you much. I didn't think it would be this hard – being apart during the day. Ironically, it'll probably be even harder when we're both in the office all day and ignoring each other. And how will we handle it when we're sent on separate assignments out of town?"

"Harm, this is crazy. We've known each other six years and we're acting like new high school sweethearts."

Harm's rich, soft chuckle came clearly over the phone. "We are, aren't we? … By the way, thanks for the head's up on Sturgis and the restaurant question. I picked up my messages on the way back to the office. When I stopped by for a few minutes, Sturgis was still there and he asked me if I had fun Saturday night. If you hadn't tipped me, I know I'd have blown it. … What's with Sturgis, anyway? He seemed like he was already two jumps ahead of us .. like he knew something. I mean I know there's been office gossip about us for years, but as long as we were just friends, we could ignore it. But with Sturgis it seems more, somehow?"

Mac knew that Sturgis seemed to know more because he did know more. How could she explain her unplanned admission when she hadn't said the words to Harm yet? Hesitantly she said, "I think I can explain that, but not over the phone … and maybe not now. When we have some time together, I'll tell you. I promise."

"Mac, come on …?" Harm's voice was filled with curiosity and maybe a hint of jealousy.

'Oh, oh,' Mac thought to herself. She had never really seen Harm jealous. True, he hadn't liked Mic and in retrospect she realized that was probably because of her. Yet he had not let his emotions show. He'd had no right to be jealous then. Now, he probably had the right but no reason. She attempted to take control of the situation. Firmly she said, "Harm, it's nothing for you to worry about. I'll explain when we're together."

"I'll hold you to that, you know."

He was hurt. She could hear it in his voice. 'Oh, shit! Now what?' "I know you will." She said softly.

"Mac, why don't you come over tomorrow after work. I'll cook. I had something else in mind for our second date, so let's just call this friends getting together for a chat, okay?"

'He was back to calling her Mac. Damn! She had lost ground here, but at least he'd invited her over to his place. "I'll look forward to it. Thanks, Harm."

There was a note of reserve in his voice as he said, "Good night, Mac. See you tomorrow."

"Good night, Harm." After she replaced the receiver, she whispered, "I love you."

_Tuesday_

_JAG HQ_

_Falls Church, VA_

Mac and Harm were both working in the office all day. They weren't sharing cases so their paths didn't cross often. Consciously or unconsciously, they were avoiding contact. When they were in proximity to each other, they were cordial, yet restrained. Sturgis observed with interest. Maybe he had jumped to conclusions too quickly. None of the tension between these two had gone away; in fact, it seemed stronger than ever. Bobbi had said they seemed extremely pleased with each other's company last Saturday. Maybe she misread the signs. On the other hand, Bobbi was one of the most observant women he had ever met. She probably wasn't wrong about what she saw, but something had happened since then. Interesting …

At 1630 Mac felt that she couldn't stand it any longer. She had gotten all the work done she could and the tension between her and Harm had become almost visible. Although this was the official closing time for most government offices, many of the senior staff routinely worked longer. Today, however, she decided to call it quits. She debated about stopping by Harm's office to say good night and to see whether the invitation was still open. His office was empty, however, so Mac went back to hers and picked up the phone to leave a message on his voicemail. "Harm, I'm heading home. I hope the invitation to supper is still open. I'll see you at 1800. Bye."

Once home, Mac collapsed on her couch and sighed. Relationships were so hard. The right relationship needed hard work to sustain it. At least, that's what she assumed. She had never been in a "right" relationship so she was really no judge. And she realized she had no experience on how to make a good relationship work. What was happening was exactly what Harm had feared. The abyss between friendship and love was so wide and deep that they could fall into it and lose everything.

She got up, stripped off her uniform, took a quick shower and dressed in a soft Navy blue sweater and jeans. Her internal clock told her that by the time she navigated the tail end of rush hour traffic, she would arrive at Harm's apartment right on time.

_1758 EDT, Tuesday_

_North of Union Station_

_Washington, DC_

In front of Harm's door, Mac took a deep breath and knocked. He opened it wide to let her walk in. He flashed her his wonderful welcoming smile but his eyes were wary. More telling was the fact that he didn't touch her, but returned to his kitchen area to finish their meal.

"Food's ready. Have a seat and I'll bring it out." Harm efficiently placed the salad and pasta in serving bowls and carried them to the table. When they were seated, he put portions on each of their plates. For awhile they silently pushed the food around, neither having much appetite.

Suddenly Mac dropped her fork and stood up, walking away from the table to the window. "All right, let's get this cleared up." She said forcefully. "You started this ball rolling and I'll be damned if either of us will derail it this soon."

She swung around and walked back to stand in front of Harm in what he thought of as 'full Marine stance.' "One day while Sturgis and I were working on the murder in the park that I saw in my dream, he was quizzing me about the tension between you and me. I know he thought it was because of an affair gone bad. I told him I'd never slept with you. So he said that I should get over it and move on. I don't know what happened .. I must have been crazy that day .. but I told him that wouldn't work because I was in love with you. When I realized what I'd said, I made him promise never to tell anyone."

During this narrative, Mac had been staring past Harm's head at the wall across the room. Now she brought her eyes to his. "I didn't want to explain on the phone because I hadn't said the words to you yet." Her voice softened. "I wanted to be with you the first time I told you I loved you."

Mac watched with relief as the hurt and anger drained from his eyes. Other emotions flooded in .. happiness .. love. He reached for her, pulling her onto his lap so he could kiss her .. a kiss filled with joy and passion that left them both a bit breathless.

"I'm sorry I doubted you. I don't really know what I was thinking, but somehow I was jealous of Sturgis." He kissed her again, softly, tenderly, but with rising passion. His tongue sought access to her mouth and she opened for him, feeling a hot spike of desire flow down through her body. She finally broke the kiss and buried her face in his neck to try to slow the intensity of her desire. She inhaled the scent of him, so familiar from all the years of working together.

His hands on her arms drew her away from him so he could meet her eyes. "Sarah, I love you. I have for a long time, I think, but I didn't fully admit it to myself until the kiss on the admiral's porch. I was way out of line that night and I hated myself for it. But another part of me believed that it would be the only thing I would have to remember."

He slipped his hands under her sweater and caressed the bare skin of her back. Mac caught her breath and quivered at his touch. Harm gathered the ragged edges of his control and slid his hands away from dangerous places. "Sarah, we should stop now," he managed breathlessly.

"I don't want to stop. Harm, why did we wait so long? You were right about crossing the line between friends and lovers, but for all intents and purposes we've crossed that line. Why should we torture ourselves by denying what we both want?"

With a hint of laughter, Harm responded, "You make a persuasive argument, counselor." He slipped her off his lap, clasp her hand and led her toward the bedroom. At the doorway, he stopped. "Are you sure, Sarah?"

"Yes, I'm sure."

End


End file.

JAG, Romance