Full Metal Panic 1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Full Metal Panic is owned not by me, but rather – the nice people over at Studio Gonzo animation.  Furthermore, if they say to, I'll happily remove this story from the web.  One final note, since events may not be clear enough to tell – this story takes place between episodes 14 and 15 of the first season.  Just so you know when.

Code of Conduct

Chapter 1

By Random1377

Melissa Mao eased back in her chair, a beer stein resting in her palm like a familiar friend, her eyes drifting closed as one of her favorite songs came on the lounge's jukebox.  "I'm not on duty right now," she informed the young woman sitting across from her, "can we talk later?"

"This isn't related to work," Tessa Testarossa informed her quietly, a faint smile on her lips, "I wanted to talk to you about something… personal."

"Well," Melissa said, taking a long pull of her beer, "unless it's about drinking, fighting, or men, I'm probably not going to be that much help – and I probably won't listen anyway, I'm not good at little girl stuff."  She grinned abruptly, "Did you just get your first period or something?"

Tessa sighed, knowing that the older woman was trying to get a rise out of her, and that the best defense was to be as flat as possible so she would lose interest.  "I've been getting my period regularly for nearly four years," she said smoothly, "I'm sixteen, not ten, and I-"

"Yeah, yeah," Melissa cut in, waving a hand in annoyance, "I get it."  She sighed, chugging the last of her beer and waving the waiter over to order another.  "Alright," she grumbled, "what 'advice' do you need?"

Tessa's eyes sparkled.  _This should pique your interest, Sergeant,_ she thought proudly.

"I wanted to ask you how to get a man's attention."

Melissa only looked surprised for a minute.  "Show him your tits," she snorted, "unless he's gay – he'll notice."

Tessa coughed delicately.  "I was kind of hoping that you might have a more… tactful method."

Melissa took a drink, watching the younger woman over the rim of her mug.  "You're serious," she said quietly, setting the stein down and leaning closer, "who is it?"

"No one in particular," the gray-haired woman said casually, blushing slightly as she thought that there was someone _very_ particular.  "I just want to be prepared to deal with any situation, that's all.  Knowing how to get a man's attention could be useful in a hostage or infiltration scenario."

"Oh," Melissa shrugged, "well it kind of depends on the setup."  She leaned back in her chair and yawned broadly.  "If you're in a bar or something, I think my first suggestion would actually be most suitable.  You don't just yank your shirt open, but unbuttoning a couple of buttons and dropping things can work wonders."  She shrugged.  "Going braless also gets attention pretty quick, but depending on the guy, that could get you on your back a little faster than you'd planned… unless that _is_ your plan, in which case you should just walk up to him and hand him your panties – I guarantee no man will misunderstand that."

Tessa nodded, her blush growing slightly at the straightforwardness of the conversation.  "Go on, please."

"If it's subtlety you're after," Melissa mused, slowly turning her mug around in circles on the table, "then I'd say letting him get a little touch would work."

"A little touch…?" Tessa echoed, looking down at her lap, "Like… here??"

"No, no!" Melissa shook her head emphatically, then paused for a moment and grinned, putting a hand on her head.  "Woo… can't do _that_ too fast."  She rose to her feet and walked around to the back of the younger woman's chair.  "A little touch like this…"

Tessa blinked as the AS pilot leaned over and picked up her beer, her full breasts brushing Tessa's shoulder.  "O-oh…" she whispered.

"See," Melissa yawned, "guys love boobs – they're fascinated by them – and even just a little touch like that will get them all worked up… unless they're really in the zone about something, but it should at _least_ get them to notice you."

Tessa looked down at her chest doubtfully.  _Not as big as hers,_ she thought skeptically, _but not TINY.  Men aren't really that shallow, are they??_  She smiled softly. _I don't think Sagara's like that, though… and it seems like he's ALWAYS 'in the zone.'_

"So there's no particular guy, huh?" Melissa said dryly, catching the smile on the younger woman's face as she walked around and retook her seat.

"N-no," the captain said quickly, "but – if there was, and it wasn't… a _pressing_ issue, where you'd have to get his attention right away, how would you approach that?"

Melissa pulled out a pack of cigarettes, sticking one between her grinning lips and replying, "Just like any other military action."

"Ummm… huh?"

"It's simple," the older woman murmured, lighting her smoke and taking a long drag.  "S.P.E."

"Study, Plan, Execute?" Tessa asked, her brow furrowing slightly.  "Treat him as… an enemy??"

"Yup."

Melissa exhaled through her nose, flicking some ashes into the tray on the table.

"Relationships are like combat," she said after a minute, her face showing no hint of humor.  "You study the enemy… you plan how best to approach him – the goal being to get what you want with the least amount of pain… and you execute your plan."  She shrugged.  "Simple."

_What a pessimistic view,_ Tessa thought sadly.  Out loud she asked, "And this works for you?"

Melissa grinned.  "Do you see any guys around here, Captain?"  She stretched and yawned.  "You see, my problem is that I don't spend enough time studying and planning – I just go for the kill."  She put her cigarette between her lips and inhaled deeply.  "So if you're serious about engaging in a relationship," she paused to blow a ring of smoke into the air, "even for practice… you should make _damn_ sure that you're prepared, you know what I mean?"

Tessa nodded.  _She's right…_ she thought, _just approaching without knowing anything about him would be stupid – but I know him already, and I know that I want to be with him, even if it doesn't end up working out, I want to try… but I'll need to find out his habits, because he's not the kind of guy I can just walk up to.  _She squared her shoulders, determined to begin learning about her target ASAP.

"Of course..." Melissa said slowly, bringing Tessa's attention back around, "if it's anyone around _here… _ you'd have to make sure you don't get caught, because not only will it raise eyebrows – it could get you stripped of your command…" she took a sip of her beer, emphasizing her next word, "Captain_._"

Tessa averted her eyes.  _She doesn't know who I'm thinking of, does she?_ She thought suddenly.

"Of course.  Thank you for your input, Sergeant…"

"Anytime," Melissa said easily.  She waited until the younger woman rose and bowed before whispering, "Go get him, Tessa…"

Tessa bowed again and departed.

"Why was the Captain blushing?" Melissa's fellow soldier Kurtz Weber asked as he stepped into the lounge.

"Just girl stuff," Melissa grinned, "nothing a muscle-head like you would understand."

"Maybe you could explain it to me," Kurtz said amicably, sitting next to the woman and dropping a hand lightly on her knee.

Melissa casually reached down, taking the man's wrist between her thumb and forefinger and squeezing, triggering four pain points simultaneously.  As the man yelped and yanked his hand away she shrugged.

"Maybe another time…"

**

Sagara Sosuke entered the bridge precisely at 8:00 on Tuesday morning and gave his commanding officer a smart salute.  "Captain."

_He's always on time,_ Tessa thought, returning his salute, _especially for duty.  He wakes up at 6:00 every morning… works out for an hour… takes a short shower… has a very light breakfast… then he's on duty – every morning._

It had taken her the better part of a week to gather this information – and it had not been easy.  The young man was very attuned to the world around him, it seemed to her, as he would abruptly stop and turn, staring intently at the corner she had just ducked around to avoid being detected… though when it came to her, it seemed that he only saw her as 'The Captain.'

And that was going to change, damn it.

"Sergeant," she said, trying not to sound _too_ warm, but not too commanding either.  "Miss Kaname is well?"

"Yes, Captain," Sagara confirmed crisply, "she's staying home with the flu for the next few days."

"I thought you said she was well," Tessa smiled.

"She's uninjured and safe at this time," Sagara said levelly, "a slight illness is not noteworthy."

"Melissa and Kurtz are watching over her, correct?" Tessa asked, her heart beating a bit faster.

_It's not like I'm abusing my power,_ she told herself reasonably, _she doesn't need constant surveillance from three officers.  Certainly she has the most rapport with Sosuke, but he needs some time off… _She blushed faintly._ Just a few days…_

"Hai…"

Tessa tilted her head to the side.  "Is something wrong, Sagara-san?"

"No, Captain," Sagara shook his head.  "I was simply wondering… if there are any other assignments I'm being reserved for."

Tessa considered this for a moment.  _Why are you so anxious to get back to fighting?_ She thought sadly, _is it because that's all you know, Sagara?_

"Well, we don't have any operations that require your particular skills… but Major Anders might need an extra hand on guard duty…"

"Sir," Sagara saluted.

The gray-haired woman sighed softly.  "Carry on, Sergeant."

She watched him walk away, glancing at the clock briefly.  _Well,_ she thought tiredly, _I can't really expect him to hang around the bridge all day while I try to figure out what he likes and how to get his attention.  At least guard duty shifts run the same as my normal schedule, and since nothing's going on right now, I should be able to see him more often._  She frowned suddenly as she realized something.

"I really, _really_ want to be with him…"

Taking a quick glance around to ensure that no one heard her, Tessa leaned back in her chair.  _I know where he'll be, too,_ she mused, _abuse of power?  Me??  Never…_

The rest of the day crawled past as she pondered the ethics of her decisions.  On one hand, no one was being endangered by what she was doing.  On the other hand, she had deliberately arranged an officer's schedule to correspond with her own – ensuring that her free time was his free time as well.

But done was done… so she decided to make the most of it.

**

"Captain," Sagara nodded as the young woman brought her tray over and sat next to him, "good evening."

"Good evening, Sagara-san," Tessa said brightly, smiling as she noticed the arrangement of the table.  "Was your day alright?"

The young man nodded, methodically skewering several green beans onto his fork's tines.  "It was uneventful," he said softly.

"Good," Tessa said, slowly building up her courage and eyeing the saltshaker.  "Do you have any plans for the weekend?"

This caught Sagara off guard, she could tell, as he blinked rather hard.  "Ummm… no," he said quietly after a moment, bringing the beans to his mouth.

"I see," Tessa nodded, gauging the distance and feeling a slight thrill run through her as she estimated it to be perfect.

_Wish me luck, Melissa!_ She thought giddily, unaware that she had unconsciously made her subordinate into somewhat of an avatar for feminine wile.

"Excuse me…"

Quickly, she leaned over, reaching across the young man and grasping the saltshaker… allowing her breasts to brush his right wrist as she went.  Sagara, however, was unfazed by the move, and carefully, discretely slipped his arm down into his lap.

_So much for that…_ Tessa thought disappointedly.  _I don't even think he looked at me… _She salted her food, biting her bottom lip and stealing a careful glance at Sagara from the corner of her eye.  _Handsome…_ she thought wistfully, _I wonder if he HAS noticed me, and just doesn't like me?? _She relaxed slightly as she remembered the way he acted around Melissa and Chidori.  _They're both prettier than me,_ she reasoned, _but he doesn't look at them either. _She shook her head sharply. _I'm pretty too,_ she told herself firmly, refusing to fall victim to self-defeating thoughts, _he probably just… doesn't think about stuff like that…_

This last thought felt very… proper to her, and as she stole another glance at the young man, she decided that she would need to be a bit more creative in getting his attention.

"Captain," he said politely, rising to his feet and picking his tray up.

"Have a good evening, Sagara-san," Tessa murmured quietly, inclining her head as he bowed.

_I don't think your advice applies to him,_ she thought, watching him empty his tray into the garbage and walk briskly from the room, _what now, Melissa?  I can't really ask you again, now can I?  You already know… I know you do – but if I keep asking for advice, you'll try to step in, and I cannot allow that._

An idea struck suddenly, and she quickly picked up her tray and emptied its contents into the trash.

"He'll take a shower," she muttered excitedly, "then head to his room… so if I time it right…"

She walked at a casual pace, trying not to attract attention and pausing to speak to a few subordinates along the way before finding herself in the hallway to Sagara's quarters.  _Perfect!_ She thought happily, spying him coming down the other end.

Pretending to be focused on the corridor in front of her, Tessa waited until Sagara was almost beside her before making her move.

"Ahh!"

"Captain!"

Sagara stooped, quickly catching the woman as she started to tumble forward.

"Th-thank you, Sagara-san," she whispered.

_Now!_

She leaned upwards, her heart racing as she closed her eyes and brought her lips to his… or tried to, anyway.  Seeing that the danger had passed, Sagara released his captain and took a polite step backwards.  Since she was leaning forward, and had her eyes closed, Tessa failed to notice this.

"Captain!!"

Tessa's eyes opened just in time to see the bulkhead rushing to meet her forehead.

Sagara winced as a dull, metallic 'thunk' echoed through the hall.  "Are you alright, Captain?" he asked, putting a steadying hand on her shoulder as she wobbled slightly.  "Do you need to go to the infirmary?"

"N-no," Tessa muttered, rubbing her forehead with a pained expression, "I'm fine… carry on, Sergeant…"

"Hai."

Tessa walked away quickly, still caressing her tender forehead.  _Stuuuupid,_ she berated herself, _that was so stupid I can't even stand it!_

Making her way to her quarters, she plopped down on her bed.  "Maybe I should have unbuttoned my shirt, too," she groaned, "just to make sure that he noticed… what a moron!!"

She closed her eyes.  _Tomorrow's Wednesday,_ she thought, _I've got that meeting in the afternoon with the head of the UN, so I can't really do anything about this tomorrow…_  She rolled onto her side, too disgusted with herself to indulge in the luxury of undressing.  _So Thursday… in the gym… yeah, I think that will work…_

With a sigh, she tried to get to sleep, wondering if Sagara would ever notice that she liked him.  After a few minutes, she rolled onto her back, a soft, miserable whine filling the air.

"Ow… that really hurt…"

**

Sagara did not look up from his crunches as the door to the gym slid open, then closed.  He was used to working out alone, as (for some reason) no one else used the facilities at that hour of the day.  Why, he was not exactly sure, since he figured it was best to start the morning with physical activity, but in his time with Mithril, he had only shared the gym six times.

"Ohayo, Sagara-san."

And this was the last person he expected to hear from.

"Captain," he exclaimed, quickly scrambling to his feet and saluting.  "Ohayo."

"We're off duty, Sagara-san," Tessa smiled reassuringly, taking a quick look at his sweat shorts and tee shirt combination.  "Please continue your work out… don't mind me…"

_Clean and in order,_ she thought with some amusement, wondering idly if he pressed his workout clothes to get them so neat, _how very much like you, Sagara…_

After a brief hesitation, Sagara nodded.  "Hai."

Tessa wandered over to one of the weight machines, setting it for a low weight and starting to do a light workout.  _I can be more open here,_ she thought, trying to stay calm, _especially since I locked the door._  She frowned, wondering what he would think if he tried to leave before she worked up enough courage to try to make him see her again.

"No good," she whispered, her voice barely audible, "it has to be now."  She took a deep breath, getting off the machine and moving to one of the inner thigh exercises.

"Sagara-san…?"

The young man got to his feet, saluting again.  "Captain?"

"We're off duty, Sagara-san," Tessa teased brightly; "you don't have to salute."  She glanced at the machine.  "Can you show me how to use this one, please?"

"Hai."

Tessa looked away, smiling happily as he approached her.  _He'll have to get close,_ she thought excitedly; _oh don't let me chicken out!_

Sagara walked up behind the young woman, waiting for her to move so he could demonstrate the machine.  When she stayed where she was, he blinked.  "Ummm," he said slowly, "Put your leg up into the cuff," he instructed, realizing that she wanted verbal direction.

"Like this?" she asked innocently, deliberately putting her foot in the wrong place.

"No," Sagara said patiently, leaning down at her side and rearranging her leg until it was properly situated.

Tessa's heart leapt as she thought he spent an extra second or two glancing at the leg of the tight black impact shorts she was wearing.  "And then I just go?" she asked, proud that her voice was still even, considering how loud her pulse was beating in her ears.

"You'll fall," Sagara warned quickly.  "Put this hand," he took her left hand and placed it on one of the balance handles, "Here."  He paused for a moment, trying to find a way to tell her where to put her other hand… but since the machine was so complicated, and had so many different functions (thigh exercises being one of thirteen) he decided that showing would be easier.  "And put your other hand here," he said finally, reaching around her body and taking her other wrist carefully in hand.

_Now!_ Tessa thought, turning sideways against him and tilting her head, her lips grazing the corner of his mouth.

"C-Captain??"

For the first time that she could recall, Sagara looked stunned.  Gently freeing her right hand from his suddenly loose grip, Tessa hooked it around the back of his neck, pulling his lips down against hers in a soft, unmistakable kiss. There was a moment of absolute silence in the gym, then a soft sigh filled the air as Sagara slowly pulled back, looking into the Captain's light gray eyes for a moment… then leaned forward and kissed her very carefully.

_Yes!!_

Emboldened by his reciprocation, Tessa deepened the kiss, turning to face him fully and draping her arms over his shoulders.

_Now that,_ she thought with some satisfaction, _is more like it…_

Though it was not quite what she planned, Tessa was more than happy with the outcome.  Moving carefully, she pressed herself against him, trying to get more of his mouth over hers, and though neither of them had ever kissed before, the slow tempo of the exploratory give and take gave them ample opportunity to learn at first.  However, passion being what it is, it was not long before they were caught up in the embrace, aggressively vying for greater depth of contact as their lips parted almost simultaneously and their tongues met for the first time.

_This is…_ Tessa's thoughts would not quite focus, seeming scattered and diffuse as Sagara abruptly brought his right hand up to the back of her head, holding her firmly in place and sliding his tongue deep into her mouth.  _I…don't want this to end…_

This thought is what precipitated her next move.

"Captain…" Sagara gasped as the young woman abruptly broke from him, sitting on the edge of a nearby weight bench and grasping the front of his shirt.

"Tessa," she panted, laying back on the bench and pulling him with her, "Tessa…"

Their lips met once more, the intensity of the kiss tripling as Sagara knelt over her on the short bench, his hands planted precariously on either side of her narrow waist.  "T-Tessa…" he whispered, unused to being so personal.  He appeared to want to say more, but chose instead to resume kissing her, exploring her willing mouth with the tip of his tongue until a needy jerk at the bottom of his shirt forced him to pull away.

Breathing hard, Tessa drew his shirt off, lifting her back slightly to enable her to keep kissing him as he drew the garment the rest of the way off and threw it on the floor. _Like this, Melissa-san?_ She thought dizzily, _Inappropriate like this?_

Their mouths collided again as Sagara shifted, trying to find a more tenable position on the bench, a muffled gasp filling the air as his right knee accidentally slipped between her thighs.  Tessa moaned passionately, pressing herself against his knee and gasping as he shifted again, generating an unimaginable sensation of pleasant friction between her legs.

She raised her arms up over her head as his hands grasped the bottom of her shirt, tugging urgently until the tight fabric slid up, exposing her body.  "Keep going," she panted when he paused, "Sosuke-kun… keep going…"

Sagara nodded, his eyes too clouded with desire to take more than a passing glance at her chest as he threw her shirt to the side and began working on her shorts.

_Too long,_ she wanted to scream, shimmying her hips to allow the shorts to slip off, _you're taking too long!!_

The idea of 'second thoughts' never entered either of their minds.

Tessa lay back on the bench, once again stretching her arms over her head and wetting her lips as the young man slipped his thumbs into his own shorts.  _Hurry,_ she thought frantically, _I only want to do this with you… hurry, Sagara…_

Time seemed to blur as the two made love first on the bench, then on the floor, losing all sense of control and self as they succumbed to their passion, finally ending up breathless on the floor, dozing lightly in each other's arms.

Tessa woke several minutes later, roused by the sound of quiet movement.  "Sosuke-kun?" she whispered, rubbing her eyes as she found the young man pulling his shirt on.  Her clothes, she noticed were in a neat stack at her side.

"I'm on duty in fifteen minutes," Sagara whispered, "I need to go."

Tessa nodded, unsure of how to react to his quiet, even tone.  Nothing, however, could have prepared her for his next comment.

"Thank you," he said hesitantly, bowing with an unmistakable air of respect and deference.

Tessa averted her eyes, covering her chest with her arms and trying to think of a proper response.  Never in her life had she felt so cheap – or so naked.  She wanted to run, to bury herself in her blankets and never show her face to the world again.  Summoning the last scraps of her dignity… pushing away at the horrid certainty that she had just made the biggest mistake of her life… she lifted her chin and gave the only reply she could think of.

"You're welcome…"

Silently, she slipped her shirt and shorts back on, rising carefully to her feet and stepping past the young man to open the door.

"Captain," Sagara said slowly.

"Yes sergeant…?" Tessa whispered hollowly.

"It's nothing."

_Nothing,_ Tessa thought dully, _that's what all of this was.  Oh God why am I so stupid?  Why did… why did I give myself away without knowing if he cared?  I'm so stupid!!_

"Make sure you're on time…" she said quietly as Sagara stepped out the door.

"Yes ma'am."

As he walked away, Tessa closed the door and reengaged the lock.  Then she slowly sat on the floor… rested her head on her knees… and cried.

**

"So you can see," Marioka was saying, "we need to move on this as soon as possible, wouldn't you agree Captain?"

Tessa nodded, rubbing her eyes for a moment before replying, "Of course, you're right – make sure that it's done…"

There was an awkward pause.

"Are you ok, Captain?" the man asked finally, glancing around at the concerned faces of the other bridge crew members, "you've been looking a bit… tired since your workout this morning."

"It's nothing, Marioka-san," she said soothingly, giving the man a soft smile, "I think I just… did more than I should have."  She shook her head, covering a yawn with her palm.  "If that was the last piece of business, though, I believe I will turn in a bit early… is that alright?"

"Of course," Marioka assured her quickly, "rest well, Captain."

"Thank you."

Tessa rose to her feet and gave him a polite bow, then started for her quarters.  _What is it I read about rejection?_ She mused, making her way through the Tuatha de Danaan's narrow corridors, _No, it wasn't about rejection – it was about pain.  Time heals all wounds…_

"Even a few hours makes it easier," she whispered, opening the hatch leading to her quarters' area, "now if I can just make it through a couple more days without seeing him, this might just be survivable…"  She focused her eyes on the floor, concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other as she trudged to her room.  "What would you think of me now, Mao-san?" she muttered, "You used to look up to me – to envy me, even… if you knew what happened, would you think I was so-"

"Captain."

She stopped, too tired and worn to feel surprised.  "Sergeant," she muttered.

"May I speak with you, Captain?" Sagara asked, pushing away from the bulkhead he had been leaning against.

"You'll have to be brief, Sergeant," Tessa said quietly, turning to the entrance to her quarters and opening it.  "I'm very tired."

"I understand," Sagara said calmly, following her in and standing at full attention.

Shaking her head at his stiff posture, Tessa sat at her desk and folded her legs.  "What can I do for you, Sergeant?"

_Incredible…_ she thought as the young man collected his thoughts, _you must be the coldest person alive, Sagara-san… ARE you alive inside that cold shell you wear?_

"There is some research I require your assistance with," Sagara said finally, staring respectfully at the wall behind the Captain's chair.

"Regarding what, Sergeant?" Tessa asked softly, rubbing her throbbing temples.

_At least he's not gloating,_ she thought suddenly, _or trying to take advantage of me…_

"About… relationships, Captain," the young man said slowly, looking briefly to her face before returning his gaze to the wall.

"Relationships?" Tessa repeated.  "I don't understand what you mean, Sagara-san."

There was a very long silence as Sagara brought his eyes down to meet hers.  "I'm not… skilled in dealing with people," he said carefully, making sure she was listening as he explained himself, "I don't know how to interact with others on a personal level, and I… apologize… if my ignorance hurt you or offended you…Tessa…"

The Captain stared at him blankly for a moment, refusing to allow herself to hope that she was hearing what she thought she was hearing.  "So," she said quietly, "why are you asking my assistance if this is a personal issue, Sagara-san?"

Sagara blinked; his back straightening as he gave a stiff, formal bow.  "My apologies once again," he said slowly, "it seems I… mistook your intentions."  He straightened and turned to the door.

"Wait," Tessa called, rising to her feet.  "What did you think, Sagara-san?"

"It isn't important," Sagara shook his head, "I've already embarrassed you several times today, Captain, so if you will excuse me…"

"I will not."

Sagara turned to face her once more.  "Yes ma'am," he said crisply.  "Forgive my rudeness."

"Tell me what you thought my intentions were," she said flatly.

Sagara nodded, clearly reluctant, but unwilling to disobey.  "I was mistakenly under the impression that you were interested in pursuing a relationship," he said bluntly, "and I wanted to explain my earlier actions by informing you that I simply…" he took a deep breath, "do _not_ know how to behave in situations like that.  Being… with you was amazing, Captain… but it is not something I have experienced before, nor have I learned how to-"

"That's enough," Tessa cut in, raising a hand and slowly closing the distance between them.  She circled him, stopping when she was facing his back.  "Have you told anybody about what happened this morning?" she asked quietly.

"No ma'am," Sagara said immediately, "it was between us – private."  He raised his chin slightly, seemingly on the verge of turning to face her, but unwilling to move without her authority.  "I won't ever tell anyone about it, Captain."

Tessa nodded.  "I see…"

For several minutes, neither of them spoke, the clock on her nightstand quietly ticking closer to eight PM.

"Sagara-san," Tessa whispered finally, "Your interpretation of my feelings was correct – I do want to be with you.  I know you didn't have any real intentions of… making love to me this morning…" she paused, considering her words for a moment before asking, "but now that you know my feelings, and… we've already been together – what would you like to happen next?"

Sagara cleared his throat.  "I admit that I hadn't considered you as anything other than my superior before this morning," he said carefully, "and I am not sure if it is… appropriate for us to be involved that way, but if it is acceptable to you, I think pursing a relationship would be enjoyable."

"The way you talk is so cold," Tessa murmured.

"I know," Sagara countered, "I don't know how-"

"That's enough."

Sagara nodded.  "Yes ma'am."

There was silence again, and Sagara closed his eyes as he felt a soft touch on his right shoulder.  "You made me feel dirty this morning," Tessa whispered, laying her free hand on his other shoulder.  "Thanking me – for sex… you made me feel like a whore, Sosuke-kun."  Slowly, she slipped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his back.  "Since you said that you don't know how to act in a situation like this, and since I don't know either," she took a deep breath, "I think that we need to agree that making love is mutual, and doesn't require thanks afterwards… alright?"

"Yes," Sagara nodded, not sure what else to say.

"So," Tessa said softly, "next time…"

Sagara blinked as she trailed off, finally turning to face her.

"I don't have much experience with these kinds of things either," she reminded him gently, "and you're right – it probably isn't appropriate for us to be involved this way."  She offered him a tentative smile.  "But if you're willing to try it…"

Sagara nodded slowly.  "Is that an order?"

"No," the young woman shook her head seriously, "that's something I would never command you to do, Sosuke-kun.  This needs to be your choice…"

"I see," Sagara murmured.  He studied her face closely for a moment, finally asking, "You're sure you want this?"

Tessa gave him a bright smile… but it faded slowly as she stared into his eyes.  "Yes," she said seriously, "and… I'd like to make love to you again."

Sagara averted his eyes, blushing for the first time Tessa could recall.

"Not tonight," she said quickly as he glanced around her narrow quarters, "it's really late, and I think… I think I'd fall asleep as soon as we were done – and that would be really hard to explain, ne?"  She sighed, resting her head on his shoulder.  "But I want to be your koibito, Sosuke-kun, not just your kareshi…"

"This is… going to be complicated," Sagara said quietly, carefully embracing her.  "Since you're… the captain, and we both have other assignments that need our attention."  He averted his eyes, certain that he had said something wrong.

Slowly, Tessa turned his head to face her and brought his lips down to hers, kissing him tenderly.  She held him for several moments, just enjoying the contact, before breaking away and whispering, "We'll take things as they come, Sosuke-kun.  It… might be complicated, but I think it's worth it."  

She closed her eyes, letting herself be swept away in the moment as – for the first time – he took the initiative and kissed her, holding her slim body tight against his chest.

After several minutes of soft, gentle kissing, Sagara broke away, stepping back from her until she was forced to release her.  "Goodnight, Ca- Tessa-chan," he bowed formally, "rest easy."

"I will," Tessa smiled radiantly, "I will, Sosuke-kun… goodnight…"

Stepping closer to him, she took one last, lingering kiss, grinning almost foolishly as she thought, _We might have started a bit faster than most… but now that we've begun, we can go as fast or as slow as we want – and only the two of us will ever know how close we are._  Her smile faded slightly.  _Only the two of us can EVER know…_

Opening the door and taking a quick look around, Tessa whispered a final goodnight, waving timidly as he bowed and moved quickly away from her door, watching alertly for any other late night hall-walkers.  With a sigh, she closed her door and leaned against it, looking down at the floor for a moment before slipping her skirt and blouse off.

"Yes," she whispered, sliding wearily into bed, "I think I'll rest fine…"

She was asleep almost as soon as she closed her eyes, feeling too worn from the stress and exertion of the day to even think about what the morning would bring… though her dreams hinted that it would be bright… and warm.

Continued…

Author's Notes:  Continuation?  Yes.  I have at least two more installments on this story _planned _– well, one more and a kind of a side story, but I don't know if I'll get around to it.  This story feels pretty rounded to me.  I started this story on a whim, for anyone that cares, and it just kind of grew from there.  I was just in the mood to write a Sagara/Tessa kiss, and like the scene in the lemon version of this story, it just went farther than intended.  Hey, it happens sometimes.  *Shrug* 

Both versions of this story were pre-read (and largely egged on) by LeperMessiah, whose exact words, if I recall correctly, were: "Dude… go for a second chapter – and have more sex in it!!"  So, ummm… thanks??  O_o

Feedback is always welcome at random1377@yahoo.com


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: see part 1

Code of Conduct

Chapter 2

By Random1377

Sagara made his way through the Tuatha de Danaan at a slow, unhurried pace. Being on ambiguous 'station duty,' with a day and a half left before returning to the mainland, he found himself restless and unable to concentrate, so he had left his quarters in search of something to take his mind off of his current concern.

Tessa.

_My koibito,_ he thought with some confusion, glancing up as he found himself in front of the shooting range, _no, no shooting today… it won't help._

Usually he found that a half hour or so on the shooting range calmed him… if for no other reason than the sound of gunfire was familiar to him, but today he simply could not refocus.

_And Kurz is still watching over Kaname…_

He sighed as he continued his aimless walk, mentally closing this topic to further analysis. No, he decided, it would be best not to dwell too much on why the idea of Kurz alone with Kaname upset him – because that would lead him to start pondering when he had started thinking of her as Kaname instead of Chidori-san.

And why.

_It is only a matter of convenience;_ he told himself firmly, _nothing more. I must spend a lot of time with Kana- with Chidori-SAN, so-_

Sagara blinked and glanced up, distracted from his thoughts as Tessa approached him in the narrow corridor. "Ohayo, Sagara-san," she said, inclining her head politely, "may I have a word with you please?"

"Captain," he bowed, nodding as she gestured him into one of the side halls.

It had only been a week since they had started seeing one another, and in that time, Sagara had found out just how complicated their affair was destined to be. Between her duties and his, and the close, privacy-lacking confines of the sub, getting any time alone was quite an accomplishment. They had been forced to restrain themselves to discrete touches in the halls and three, quickly stolen kisses – all initiated by Tessa.

So far, not a very auspicious beginning.

"You look well," Tessa said softly, looking up and down the hallway for any observers.

"My current assignment isn't very difficult," Sagara pointed out.

"And Miss Chidori is alright?" Tessa asked, unconsciously taking her braid in her right hand and running the end of it over her upper lip.

"She is," Sagara nodded, "and as my report states, Kurz is-"

"Sousuke-kun," Tessa interrupted, "I'd… like to see you alone tonight."

Sagara took a quick look around, finding that no one was within earshot at the moment. "I would like that, Ca- Tessa-chan," he took a breath. It was still hard for him to use her first name. "Where would you like to meet? I don't think either of our quarters would be acceptable."

"No," Tessa agreed, shaking her head ruefully. "You're right, it's too risky." She started chewing on the end of her braid. "But, I would like to see you, Souske-kun. I've been thinking about you a lot lately."

Sagara nodded, frowning a bit as she chewed on her hair. "Perhaps we could arrange to meet in one of the storage rooms?" he suggested. "They are generally unsecured after hours."

"That's so… sordid," Tessa said, blushing faintly. "I think I'd rather have you see me in my quarters. I'm sure I can explain that, if necessary – we'll just have to make sure you have clothes on if anyone comes to the door."

"Yes ma'am."

Tessa tensed. "Please don't call me that, Sousuke."

Sagara nodded. "My apologies."

"I understand," Tessa assured him, "so – my quarters, after you're off duty?"

"Yes ma- Tessa-chan," Sagara cleared his throat awkwardly. "I'll be there."

Tessa nodded, turning to leave. She paused, though, looking back over her shoulder.

"Is something wrong?" Sagara asked.

Tessa shook her head. "I bought you something, Sousuke-kun."

Sagara looked at her empty hands with a puzzled expression.

Tessa smiled, that faint blush appearing on her cheeks once more as she looked around and whispered, "I… can't give it to you here."

Curious, Sagara murmured, "Why not?"

The blush on the girl's cheeks grew exponentially, and she averted her eyes. Taking another quick look around, she bowed her head and breathed, "I umm… I'm wearing it."

Sagara joined her in her blush. "Oh."

They stood in awkward, but not altogether uncomfortable silence, carefully studying their feet for several seconds.

"So!" Tessa said suddenly, clapping her hands sharply. "Umm, tonight. Yeah." She smiled warmly, taking a final look around the empty corridors before stepping closer to Sagara and giving him a fleeting kiss. "I can't wait to see you," she said honestly, hurriedly straightening her skirt and taking a step back. "Good afternoon, Sagara-san."

Sagara nodded bemusedly, straightening his back and giving her a brief salute as another soldier rounded a corner down the hall. "I understand, Captain," he said crisply, "then if there's nothing else."

"Carry on, sergeant," Tessa said, grinning broadly since her back was to the other soldier, "I expect your duties fulfilled to the utmost!" She bit her bottom lip to keep from giggling, and quickly mouthed, 'I love you.'

Sagara's back straightened even more. "Understood."

He bowed and made his way off down the hallway.

"Ahem."

Tessa blinked, finally turning to face the other soldier. "Oh, Marioka-san!" she said, quickly bowing. "I'm… I didn't see you. Gomen."

Marioka saluted. "Please, Captain," he said smoothly, "no need for so much protocol." He waved another apology off and gestured down the hall. "I'm afraid I have some unfortunate news," he said quietly, "it seems that a shipment of nuclear warheads has been hijacked in a small middle-eastern country called Belgestan. The Americans are sending in a small strike force to contain the situation, but…"

Tessa nodded grimly as he trailed off, her feeling of wellbeing vanishing in an instant. "But it would be best if we sent assistance," she concluded. "I understand. Who would you recommend, Marioka-san? Lieutenant Captain Mao is available, as is Lieutenant Kurz."

"If I'm not mistaken," Marioka said softly, "Lieutenant Sagara has had some combat experience in Belgestan, hasn't he?"

Tessa glanced at the man from the corner of her eyes, trying to gauge his expression. _He doesn't know, doe he?_ she thought nervously. _No, he couldn't – we're so careful._

Out loud, she said, "I believe you're right, but he is currently assigned to guard Chidori-san."

Marioka nodded. "Indeed," he said lightly, "but I think we can both agree that this particular mission holds a slightly higher priority, correct?"

"Of course," Tessa backpedaled quickly, knowing that if she pushed too much harder there would be no way to conceal her feelings. "I'll notify him immediately."

"I will go with you," Marioka said helpfully, "I have the details on the mission, and it really would be best to arrange his departure immediately."

"R-right," Tessa nodded quickly, "well he just walked that way, so we could probably catch him if we hurried."

"Then let us be off."

"Right…"

_I'm sorry, Sousuke,_ Tessa thought as they started off to find the sergeant. _I guess… I'll have to give you your present when you get back._

( 0 0 0 )

Grey Iceman winced in pain. "It's really not that bad," she muttered, sitting on the floor as her associate, Jackson, helped her down.

"Just shut up," the man said gruffly, "you got winged, now let the damn kid take care of you…"

Grey shot a glance at her more seriously wounded fellow soldier, Baptiste. "Him first," she said softly, nodding to the fallen man. "I'm really not that bad."

"Yeah, I know," Jackson snorted, "but you still got lead in you, so sit down and shut up. Me and Andy will set up watch. You get patched up."

"What about Sagara?" Grey asked belatedly. "Should I send him out when he's done?"

"Hell no," Andy replied, ducking into the shanty. "I don't trust that kid watching me while I sleep – we'll handle it."

The fight had been sudden, and furious – catching all of them completely off guard. A stray bullet had somehow found its way into Grey's ribcage, glancing off the bone (she hoped) and making her world ring with pain.

And the only person with anything past a basic knowledge of first aid was the kid – Sagara… the one Grey had secretly been eying since the start of the mission.

"It's just a flesh wound," she grunted, trying to push at the young man's hands as he set the first aid kit to the side and reached for her, his intent obvious. "S-stop it!"

Sagara ignored her, tearing her shirt wide open and slapping her feeble attempts to stop him away. "It'll need to be dressed anyway," he said briskly, "now stop struggling and let me see."

Grey, finding her struggles to be ineffectual, surrendered, putting her hands over her head to keep them out of the way. "Don't try anything funny!" she snapped irritably, flinching as he put his hands on either side of the bullet hole.

"Funny?" Saraga repeated absently, his eyes carefully examining the wound. "Like what?" He looked up into her eyes, pursing his lips slightly as he murmured, "Like touching you inappropriately? I can assure you, Soldier Iceman, my primary concern is the mission."

Grey's lips quirked up into an ironic smile, and she leaned her head back as she replied, "But when the mission's over, you make no guaran– ow! OW! Hey, that _hurts_!"

"My apologies," Sagara muttered, continuing to dab at the wound with an alcohol-laden cotton ball that Grey was _sure_ he did not have a moment before. "You're right, though – it's not too deep."

In silence, Grey watched him tend to her injury. _Maybe Jackson was right,_ she thought, her eyes tracing the boy's jaw line until she was staring at the X shaped cut on his cheek, _I mean… he's… not like – ugly or anything, I just… oh screw it, I don't know…_

"You're staring at me," Sagara pointed out flatly, "is there something you want to say, Soldier Iceman?"

"No," Grey whispered, shaking her head and averting her eyes, "I was just wondering what happened to your cheek – sorry for being rude."

"It happened when I was young," Sagara informed her after a brief pause to get another cotton ball.

"You're not young now?" Grey asked softly, suddenly very aware that she was wearing a rather thin bra, and that it was probably fairly clear where her circling thoughts were traveling.

If the young soldier was aware of her more-than-professional interest, he said nothing about it. Leaving her comment about his age untouched, he pulled a swatch of sterile gauze pad from the medical kit and taped it carefully in place. Frowning slightly as she hissed in pain.

Grey's mouth went dry as he rose to his feet, slowly unbuttoning his shirt. _You know,_ she thought, averting her eyes as he reached the bottom button, _I don't even know that much about him. He could be a virgin… or a raving sex fiend, and I wouldn't know until he said, 'Take my shirt,' or, 'Take off your bra.'_

She grinned suddenly at the absurdity of pondering the sexual experience of a seventeen year old trained killer. "You know," she chuckled, shaking her head and looking back to him, "I was just… just…"

Her voice died.

"Just what?" Sagara asked, shrugging out of his shirt.

"N-nothing," Grey stammered, tearing her eyes away from his chest. His thickly muscled, horribly scarred chest.

_My GOD!_ she thought, horrified as the image of innumerable, crisscrossing white lines and irregular, jagged gouges burned into her thoughts. _That's… not normal! NO ONE should look like – especially not at his age, damn it!_

"Take my shirt."

She flinched.

"Thank you…"

Sagara pressed his shirt into the woman's blindly searching hand, containing a soft sigh behind his cool façade. He was not stupid. He knew why her mood had changed from light flirtation to fear and disgust. It was always like this whenever someone saw his body.

He was used to it. Only one person so far had not turned away.

"We should be ready by daybreak," he said quietly, turning from her and crouching in the sand to examine their supplies as the woman slipped her arms into his shirtsleeves. "If we wait too much longer, we might miss our chance. Now I'm thinking we can set up the ambush…" he pointed to the map, "here, which will provide us some cover, while still…"

He trailed off as he felt a light, hesitant touch on his back. Fingertips gently brushed at his skin, sending a pleasant shiver down his spine and making him suddenly crave the feel of Tessa's slim body pressing up against his.

"There," Grey whispered, "had a bug on you…"

Sagara said nothing as the woman slowly pulled her hand away.

"After the ambush," he said finally, pointing to the map, "we can take this route. We should make good time." He stood, glancing over at Baptiste for a minute before shaking his head. "We'll have to travel slowly, but if we win, it shouldn't be a problem."

Grey, though part of her insisted that she simply take him in her arms and find out if her earlier thought about him offering his shirt was correct, nodded. "Yes sir." She hesitated for a moment, averting her eyes. "Should we share a bag?" she whispered, gazing out at the sunset through the curtains of the shanty. "To stay warm, I mean."

"Definitely," Sagara nodded, stowing their gear under one of the rocks and unfurling one of the sleeping bags. "You'll want to use the bathroom first – this is not a good place to go stumbling off in the middle of the night to relieve yourself."

"If I didn't know better, I'd think you were joking," Grey said lightly, looking out at the desolate terrain.

"I was, partially," Sagara told her quietly, a small frown appearing on his face as he added, "I'm not good with humor."

Grey relaxed a bit, unaware of how tense she had become. "Well, I know you're not robot, because you got so worked up when we were fighting." She sighed as he stared at the ground. "But I still haven't seen you smile, Sosuke-kun."

Sagara blinked and looked up quickly at the addition to his name, but Grey was already rising to go in search of a secluded place to empty her bladder. Shaking his head, he slipped into the sleeping bag, wondering if there was at least a tee shirt in one of the survival kits so Grey would not have to see his disfigured body. After a few minutes, Grey returned, sliding into the bag and rolling away from him onto her side.

"Night."

"Goodnight."

He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the shifting at his side as the woman slipped his shirt off. Being close to conserve warmth was far more effective, he knew, if there was actual skin to skin contact.

"There," Grey said softly, kicking the shirt down to their feet, "now…"

Sagara's eyes opened again as she rolled over to face him, her bare chest pressing against his.

"What?" Grey whispered teasingly, "you didn't think I was going to sleep in my bra, did you?"

"Yes," Sagara said immediately, "actually I did." He continued to stare up at the ceiling as he elaborated, "All the other female soldiers I've bedded down with did."

"Idiots," Grey observed, "risking hypothermia over something stupid like modesty."

The young man simply grunted, closing his eyes once more as she tentatively put her arms around him.

After a moment, Grey whispered, "Iceman's not my name, you know – well, it IS, but I mean… it's not my maiden name…"

Sagara frowned slightly. "You're married, then," he said slowly.

"Not anymore."

"I see."

Grey sighed, pressing herself a bit closer to the young man as she explained, "We were only together for a few months… but it was like heaven, when we were together. We both did this kind of work, so I thought everything was ok, but…"

When she trailed off, Sagara knew what was expected of him.

"But…?"

"But then one day, he just up and told me he couldn't be with me anymore. He told me that he couldn't stand the idea of me being in danger, and unless I gave up what I was doing and quit being a soldier, he would leave, so… he left, because I told him I wasn't willing to change just for him."

Sagara nodded. "That makes sense," he said evenly, trying not to notice how warm the woman's body was.

"You don't think it was stupid?" Grey asked quietly. "Or I guess what I'm really asking is… you wouldn't give up your way of life if someone you cared for asked you to?"

Thinking of Tessa – and her obligations – Sagara tried to imagine her giving up her command for him. He had not been intimate with her long enough to know for a fact that she would not do it, but he felt that she would probably sooner die than give up the chance to help others.

_And would I give it up for her?_ he thought, knowing he would need to speak soon, _I don't know… perhaps, perhaps not. I'm not very good at thinking of the future… I guess that's what makes me so good at obeying orders._

"No," he said finally, "I don't think I would… but I think it would depend on the circumstances."

Grey laughed softly – a decidedly out of place sound in the middle of a tense situation, with enemies all around.

"What a safe answer."

"Mm."

_You wouldn't,_ she thought firmly, pulling back to glance at the young man's profile in the dim light of the Coleman lantern. _If we were together, you wouldn't try to change me, and I wouldn't try to change you. Maybe it's crazy to even think it, but you and me? We could really work out. …if things were different._

"Do you… have anyone waiting for you back home, Sagara-san?"

The immediate reply – yes – rose to Sagara's lips, but died unspoken as he realized that even hinting that he might be involved with the captain might lead back to the reality of it. If he told Grey that he was seeing someone, she might mention it to Jackson. If Jackson mentioned it to his superior, Jackson's superior might mention it to Marioka… and Marioka might start paying more attention to the fact that Sagara was spending far more time on base than he should, and far more time in the company in the captain's than any of the other soldiers did.

"No," he said slowly, rolling on to his side and impulsively adding, "most women I know aren't comfortable with the line of work I'm in."

"You have to take the good with the bad, Sagara-san," Grey observed, "that's part of being in a relationship. I would never want to be with someone I couldn't be honest with."

Sagara tensed as he felt a warm, tentative hand rest on his side.

"Sagara-san," Grey's voice was so low that Sagara could hardly hear it.

"Hai?"

Slowly, the woman's hands rested on his back, her body pressing gently against his spine as she brought herself closer to him. "People like us don't… love easily," she said hesitantly. "I'm not really the best person to offer advice on relationships, but if you have the chance to be with someone, I'd recommend taking it – even if it doesn't last long… being with someone for a little while is better than being alone all the time."

Staring into the darkness, Sagara kept his silence. If he were a man of eloquent words or high thoughts, he might have tried to argue that if you never knew love, you could never know loneliness, because you would have no basis for comparison.

As it was, he simply nodded and murmured, "I understand."

"Do you?"

Firmly, Grey pulled on Sagara's shoulder, rolling him over to face her and staring into his questioning eyes for a moment before speaking.

"You don't know me," she said bluntly, "and I don't know you… so you really don't have any reason to do anything I say, or even value my opinion at all. But I like you, Sagara-san. Since we met, I've felt like you're the kind of person I could spend my time with – maybe romantically, maybe not, but I could definitely see myself close to you."

Neutrally, Sagara nodded.

Grey sighed. "I must be tired to be talking to you this way," she mused. "I stand by it, though. One soldier to another, Sousuke-kun," she said seriously, "if you need me, call, and I'll be there."

This, Sagara could understand. It was a straightforward offer of brotherhood – far more clean cut than anything that smacked of affection or sappiness – and it touched on years and years of ingrained training, slipping deftly through Sagara's defenses and hitting a spot that even Tessa had not reached.

"I understand," he said, his voice losing a bit of the ice it normally held. "If you need my help, I am also at your disposal."

Lifting her right hand up out of the blankets, Grey waited for him to take it, giving his hand a firm shake as she stared straight into his eyes.

"Deal."

Rubbing her eyes, the woman rolled onto her stomach, keeping herself close to Sagara as she collected her thoughts.

"You are a difficult man to get close to, Sagara-san," she mused, resting her cheek on his shoulder. "Granted, this is not the most ideal place to start a friendship, but still, I think we do have _some_ common ground to work with." Glancing down, she tapped a small, circular scare on Sagara's upper chest and hummed, "I've got one like this. Would you like to see?"

Sagara nodded, though he was forced to avert his eyes as Grey lifted the sleeping bag back, revealing that her scar was in exactly the same place as his.

"Skirmish in Baghdad," she murmured, her lilting, exotic voice drawing Sagara's eyes back to the wound in question, "twenty-two cal. Still in there."

"Oh?" Sagara murmured. "I thought standard procedure for all military forces was to remove any remaining shrapnel."

Grey smiled, nestling back in at his side and pulling the sleeping bag back up to cover them. "Not when it lodges in the bone and your best surgeon tells you that pulling it out will shatter it, and you have to hustle it halfway across the country to fight someone else's war, and you – literally – can't afford the downtime."

Nodding again, Sagara observed, "You've had quite an eventful life."

Laughing softly, Grey traced a finger along his chest. "Coming from you?" she said dryly, "I think the proper expression is 'I'll take that with a grain of salt.'" She lifted her head suddenly. "You smiled!" she said, grinning broadly. "Not a big one, but you smiled!"

Straight-faced, Sagara replied, "It's your imagination."

"Right," Grey said knowingly, "alright, Sagara… if you say so." Letting her smile go, she closed her eyes. "I enjoy your company, Sagara. Please consider my offer for you to join with us, alright? I would… feel comfortable knowing that it was you watching my back on a mission."

Sagara nodded. "I have other obligations, but I will give it due consideration."

Another smile twitched the corners of Grey's lips, though she kept her eyes closed as she murmured, "Yes, you do that. Goodnight, Sagara-san."

"Goodnight, Grey-san."

In a matter of moments, both were asleep. When she woke in the morning, however, Grey could not remember any of her dreams.

…had she known that they would be the last she would ever have, she may have tried to recollect them a bit more diligently, for they were sweet.

( 0 0 0 )

Many great books have been written on the transient nature of life. Poets and philosophers can talk your ear off for hours and hours on end about how you should cherish life, make each minute count, seize the day, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. Sagara was never much of a fan of books of that type, and the day he was caught talking philosophy would be the day Kurz quit drinking and swore off of women for life.

Sagara could, however… relate to the poets on the subject of losing a friend.

"Do you have anything to add to your report, Sergeant Sagara?"

It was on the bridge of the Tuatha de Danaan, listening to the solider give his report, that Tessa learned what Hell was.

"No, Captain… I have nothing further."

Hell, she decided as she calmly handed Marioka's clipboard back to him, was not being able to hold your lover when you knew he was in pain. Hell was being forced to speak to him like any other solider, or act as if you did not have any vested interest in comforting him after a disastrous mission. Hell… was looking him in the eyes and saying, "Dismissed," without allowing more than a trace of compassion to color your voice for fear of how others might interpret it and what rumors it might start.

"Thank you, Captain."

_Sousuke_ Tessa thought, her stomach a knot of agony and regret as the young man gave her a formal bow. _It's too much. I know this is killing you – please forgive me, Sousuke-kun._

"Captain," Marioka said gently, "you've been on duty for fifteen hours… why don't you take the rest of the evening…?"

"Yes I… I think I might," Tessa said softly, barely keeping herself from leaping to her feet and racing after Sagara. "Will you be alright without me?"

Marioka's lips quirked up slightly. "I managed for seventeen years before I came under your command, ma'am," he said lightly, "I think I'll be alright."

Tessa laughed weakly. "Of course," she said guiltily, "forgive me."

Bowing her farewell, she slipped out of the command room, taking great care to go through the door opposite the one Sagara had gone through. _Where are you, koibito?_ she thought, keeping herself to a fast walk in spite of the desperate urge to tear through the corridors in search of the one she loved.

She found him, ironically, just passing the door to her cabin, his face showing no emotion as he stared down at the floor.

"Sergeant!"

Sagara's head whipped up. "Captain," he said, using her proper title in his shock, "how can I-"

"Would you escort me to my quarters, sergeant?" Tessa cut in, keeping her eyes on his and not risking a look around to see if anyone was nearby. "There's something I want to talk to you about."

"Yes, ma'am."

Moving quickly, Tessa grabbed his hand, hurrying him towards her quarters. As soon as they were through the door, she engaged the lock, throwing herself at Sagara and giving him a long, soulful kiss. "I'm sorry," she whispered, cradling his head in her hands and raining kisses all over his face. "Sousuke-kun, I'm so, so sorry."

"It's… not a problem."

With trembling fingers, Tessa began unbuttoning his shirt, leading him towards the bed as his eyes slowly refocused on her face. _That's right,_ she thought, slipping his shirt off of his shoulders, _that's right, Sousuke-kun – forget it all. It's ok…_

"Tessa… chan."

Though she had not thought it possible… the second time was more frantic and heated than the first, testing the soundproof seal on her cabin's door as noises she was not even aware she could make were wrung from her ragged throat. Pleasure and pain, tender and rough, sorrow and joy – all met and combined, colliding in Tessa's heart with an almost audible crash and leaving her breathless and sweat-soaked in Sousuke's arms, shuddering as she tried to regain her senses.

"N-no," she panted, tightening her hold on him as he began to rise. "Stay with me a few more minutes, ok? I know you can't stay all night, but don't leave right now… please."

Sagara just nodded, settling back onto the bed and staring at the ceiling as he tried to sort out his feelings.

What he had just done with her… troubled him. It had bordered on brutality, in his eyes, and he was sure that the petite woman was going to be bruised in several places come the morning. So what if she had never asked him to stop. So what if she still held him the same as before they had begun. None of that mattered to him – all that mattered was the last, tremulous whimper she had issued as they had both reached their destination.

It sounded too much like defeat.

With a soft moan, Tessa pressed herself closer to his side, shivering violently as she pulled her covers up over them. "Softer," she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder so she would not have to meet his eyes, "next time… be softer with me, please."

"…hai."

Slowly, Sagara rolled onto his side, facing away from her as she carefully kept her body close to his. _What kind of monster am I?_ he thought, disgusted by his animalistic display. _She's so much weaker than I am – why can't I ever remember that?_

He froze, going rigid as steel as he felt a soft, hesitant finger running across his back, her gentleness flashing him back rather violently to the shanty… and to Grey.

"How did you get this one?" Tessa whispered, tracing a particularly nasty scar that ran the length of his shoulders.

Continuing to face the wall, Sagara forced himself not to think of the other woman as he replied, "It was in an AS training. The upper actuator in the right arm malfunctioned, causing it to swing at one of my training mates." His eyes grew hazy with the memory. "He assumed the attack was deliberate, and counterattacked, damaging my AS beyond repair before I could retaliate, and injuring me in the process."

Sensing more, Tessa probed, "Was he court-martialed? Damaging an AS and wounding a fellow soldier in training is pretty serious."

There was a long silence before Sagara whispered, "In the troupe I was in, the rules were more basic, and the punishments, more severe." He closed his eyes. "There was no court-martial."

"…oh."

Sagara said nothing as the woman slowly pulled her hand away, but he felt his muscles tensing involuntarily as soft, warm lips touched his skin.

"I'm sorry I brought it up," Tessa said quietly, finding and kissing an unblemished patch of skin, "I won't ask you about painful things when we're together, ok? I want your memories of us to be happy ones."

_No,_ Sagara thought immediately, _then__ we'll never be truly honest with each other! You have to take the good with the bad – that's what Grey-san said. _In spite of this thought, Sagara found himself nodding, cursing himself for being weak when it came to the slender girl's wellbeing. _And is that so wrong?_ he wondered as Tessa slipped her arms around him and pressed herself against his back. _To want to keep someone you care for from being hurt… that's noble, isn't it?_

Weariness stole over him as he felt Tessa's breathing growing slower and more even… and as consciousness faded, his only wish was that his last train of thought truly had been noble, rather than the justification it really was.

To be concluded…

Author's notes: I had a very lengthy note written here for why it took over two years to get this chapter out… but I erased it. Chapter 3 will be out as soon as I can get the time and drive to make it better than just your average fare. Hopefully, it will be worth the wait.

Pre-read was by LeperMessiah, who is largely responsible for making sure it wasn't _three_ years between chapters. Thanks man.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: see part 1

Code of Conduct

Chapter 3

By Random1377

Tessa groaned as she swam up to consciousness, murmuring a complaint at the noise in her room. "Too loud," she yawned, "what's…"

"Captain!"

With a start, Tessa opened her eyes, sitting up in bed and clutching her sheet to her chest as she realized that her cabin was full to overflowing with armed security officers.

"M-Marioka?" she stammered. "Why-"

"Stay down, Captain," the old man said firmly. "We'll handle this… individual."

Still struggling to wake, Tessa followed Marioka's stern gaze, gasping in shock as she found that the security officers where pinning Sagara to the bulkhead… and most looked ready to kill at the slightest provocation.

"What is the meaning of… this…?"

Tessa trailed off as she caught sight of her arm, and the bright red indentation of teeth, clearly visible to anyone that cared to look.

_Oh… oh no,_ she thought desperately. _They must think… and Sagara… oh no!_

"Seargent Sagara," Marioka said formally. "You are hereby accused of assault on a superior officer, holding a superior officer against her will, and aggravated rape. Do you have anything to say before you are incarcerated? It had better be damn good, if you do."

"Sir," Sousuke said crisply – or as crisply as he could with his face pressed against the wall. "I have nothing to say in this matter, other than Captain Testarossa did not encourage, endorse, or condone the events that transpired here last night, sir."

Marioka's eyes flashed with barely contained rage. "Then… you are confessing to all of the charges I've detailed…?"

Sousuke continued to stare straight ahead as he replied, "Sir, that is corr-"

A cry of alarm escaped Tessa's lips as Marioka drove his fist into Sousuke's stomach. "Marioka!" she exclaimed. "You're going too-"

"Too far?" Marioka cut in angrily. "The only thing keeping me from wringing this… animal's neck is the fact that there are so many witnesses." His right eye twitched. "Though I think I might not have to worry about them telling anyone about it."

Tessa looked around fearfully, seeing, indeed, that the security officers – to a man – were nodding their agreement. "P-protocol says that he is entitled to a fair trial," she said unevenly. "Our code of conduct is quite clear on this matter… no matter the crime, Marioka… Sergeant Sagara is innocent until proven guilty…"

Marioka looked at her with a combination of pity and shame. "Captain," he said softly, "I understand that this situation is quite a shock to you. Your feelings for Sergeant Sagara have always been clearly favorable." Tessa very nearly blurted just how favorable they were, but wisely held her tongue as Marioka continued. "Trust me, Captain," he said levelly, "there is nothing this man can do to harm you any further, so there is no need to pretend that this is anything other than what it appears to be."

"Yes, of course," Tessa whispered, unable to meet Sagara's eyes. "Then… do your duty, Marioka."

"Yes ma'am."

Trapped by the very code she herself had mentioned, Tessa could only watch in helpless agony as the man she loved was led roughly from her room, undoubtedly headed for the brig, though – if she knew Marioka and the men with him – he would probably have an 'unfortunate' run in with a few solid objects before he reached it.

_What do I do?_ she thought frantically, nodding as the two security officers Marioka had left informed her that they would wait outside for her to dress, then escort her to the infirmary for an examination. _What do I do, what do I do? I can't… I can't stop this – not without saying what really happened! And if I do that… God, I have no choice, I have to!_

"Captain!"

Her head whipped up as Sousuke suddenly reappeared at her door, looking winded and red. "Sous-"

"Captain, there is no need to _lie_ to protect me," Sousuke said quickly, meeting her eyes straight on. "Under no circumstances will I allow you to deny what has happened here in order to prevent my court-martial, do you understa-"

The wind was knocked from his lungs as the security officers he had broken away from slammed him do the deck, dragging him away before Tessa could overcome her shock.

_No good,_ she thought, rubbing angrily at her eyes. _If I tell the truth… he'll say it's a lie – and they'll believe him, because they're out for blood. Damn it, how did I let this happen?_

Backed into a corner, Tessa did the only thing she could think to do. She told the security officers outside her door that she needed a moment to compose herself, closed her door, and made a call to the only person she could think of that could help her out of this horrible situation.

She just prayed that there _was_ a way out…

( 0 0 0 )

Marioka strode purposefully towards the landing deck, more than a bit perturbed by the sudden, unexpected visit. "Weber," he barked, "you had better have a damn good explanation for this."

The blond man, barely two steps off of the helicopter, held up both hands and retreated behind his traveling companion. "I was told to keep her safe and happy," he said quickly, "and the captain extended an unrestricted invitation, so… what was I supposed to do?"

Staring down into the eyes of the girl in question, Marioka cleared his throat and murmured, "Please forgive me, Miss Chidori… but this isn't the best time for a visit."

Kaname Chidori flipped her long hair back over her shoulder, catching Weber in the face as she folded her arms over her breasts and replied, "I was told to stop in any time I wanted to, as long as there were no mission restrictions, and Kurz told me there aren't any, so… here I am."

"Yes, well," Marioka said awkwardly. "There's been a… bit of an incident onboard, and-"

"I'm aware," Chidori cut in, "of the incident."

Marioka's eyes shot to Weber, but he shook his head. "Wasn't me, sir," he said defensively, pointing to Chidori as he clarified, "_She_ filled me in on the details, sir… I only knew something had happened between the captain and Sergeant Sagara."

"I would like to see him, please," Chidori said smoothly, drawing attention away from Weber. "As soon as possible."

"I'm afraid that's impossible," Marioka said coolly. "He's being detained in the brig on the charge of aggravated rape."

"Now do you think I'm kidding?" Chidori said to Weber, stepping past Marioka as she said, "I need to see him. The brig is this way, isn't it?"

Marioka caught her arm before she could reach the door leading deeper into the sub. "I just told you, I cannot allow that," he said firmly. "He's a violent man, Miss Chidori – a rapist of the most brutal order. Letting you see him is simply out of the question."

"Ridiculous," Chidori replied immediately, "Sousuke would never do something like that – ever. Period. End of story."

"How much do you really know about this man, Miss Kaname?" Marioka asked patiently. "With men like him, sometimes something simply… gives, and-"

"I don't know why you're still talking," Chidori said flatly. "I said he would never do something like that, and he wouldn't. Now let me see him or I'll…"

Marioka folded his arms over his chest as the girl trailed off, his expression clearly indicating that he was very interested in knowing what a sixteen year old was going to do to threaten him.

Abruptly, Chidori planted her feet firmly on the deck and looked up into the man's eyes. "Let me see him," she said softly, "or I'll talk."

"To whom?" Marioka wondered, "And about what?"

Closing her eyes, Chidori whispered, "Stuyvesant Corporation modified caterpillar drive… top speed of one hundred and three nautical knots per hour… passive and active sonar absorbing skin surrounding a carbon fiber and titanium alloy framework… hanger bay containing over twenty arm-slaves of various models, including the Arbalest unit with functional Lambda Driver. Weapons systems include cruise, water to land, and water to air missiles, torpedoes, and," her eyes opened, no longer their normal color, but a rusty shade of dried blood, "and an experimental rail cannon installed last week, violating several major conventions regarding the use of accelerated explosives."

Slowly, she smiled.

"And that's just off the top of my head."

( 0 0 0 )

Sagara did not look up as the door to his holding cell was opened. What good would it do to see another face twisted into a mask of hatred and loathing? He had not eaten for two meals, as the guard carrying his food had 'accidentally' tripped over his shoelaces on both occasions, scattering the contents of the tray all over the floor.

He did not mind, though. He had gone weeks without a decent meal when he operated out of Belgestan.

"Look alive, prisoner," the guard said gruffly. "You have a guest."

_Guest?_ Sagara thought dismally. _Marioka_ _again?_ _I've already confessed to everything he wants me to confess to, so why-_

"Hey…"

Sagara's head shot up.

"Chidori…?"

He wondered if he was hallucinating… but blinking several times showed that it was, in fact, the blue-haired girl standing on the threshold of his cell.

"I've been given permission to speak to this prisoner in private," Chidori said, turning to the guard. "Here… signed by Marioka himself."

The guard hesitated, glancing at the orders for a moment before clearing his throat. "Ma'am," he began, "I'd really feel more comfortable if-"

"Don't really care if you're comfortable or not," Chidori cut in briskly. "Take a hike, soldier – Acting Captain's orders."

Looking disgruntled, the guard gave a perfunctory salute and muttered, "I'll be right outside if you need me, ma'am."

"Thanks."

Sagara stared at the floor as Chidori came into his cell and took a seat next to him. Not knowing what to say, he asked, "What was that you said about Marioka being acting captain?"

"Oh, that," Chidori said evenly. "It seems that Tessa hasn't technically _said_ she was raped, but to Marioka… well, to most people, really, it's obvious that she was attacked, so her stability is in question. Marioka is taking over the reigns until your case has been resolved, which, by the way, will be tomorrow evening."

"I see."

"Yeah."

They fell silent as Chidori leaned her head back against the bulkhead, staring up at the ceiling for a long moment before finally whispering the only question that really mattered.

"Did you… do those things to her, Sousuke…?"

Sagara closed his eyes, unable to face the hopeful note in Chidori's voice. "Yes," he said simply, "the marks on her body? Yes, I made those…"

Slowly, Chidori got off the bench and knelt in front of him, forcing him to meet her eyes as she whispered, "Did you rape her, Sousuke?"

Opening his mouth, Sagara found his voice strangling in his throat.

"If you did, I won't forgive you," Chidori told him softly. "I can't forgive that, Sousuke, no matter… no matter how much I like you – but I have to know."

Sagara swallowed, his voice hoarse as he said, "If… if it was consensual… they wouldn't let her be the captain anymore."

Chidori drew a deep, uneven breath. "Oh," she said awkwardly, the bigger picture finally coming into focus, "I…see." Wetting her lips, she looked away, unable to meet his eyes as she asked, "Is it because you guys just… just wanted to, or is it more, Sousuke?"

Staring at the backs of his hands, Sagara made no reply.

"…do you love her?"

Though he really did not mean too, Sagara nodded, moving so minutely that Chidori had to concentrate to be sure it wasn't just her imagination.

"Oh."

Abruptly, Chidori rose to her feet, turned around, and dropped onto the bench next to Sagara, stretching her back and lacing her hands behind her neck.

"Boy," she said neutrally, "you're fucked."

Sagara was so stunned by this comment that he actually lifted his head and stared at Chidori, his mouth hanging wide open as she nodded to herself.

"Yup," she said firmly, "super-fucked. Probably be almost impossible to get you out of this and keep Tessa's position as captain at the same time." She scratched at the end of her nose as Sagara continued to gape at her. "You're so hopeless sometimes," she said airily. "I mean, screwing the captain is one thing – that takes nerve – but getting caught? I thought you were more careful than that, Sousuke."

Taking a closer look at the girl, Sagara found himself wondering if Mao had somehow made herself a Chidori mask and was playing a very elaborate trick on him.

"Well," Chidori sighed, "can't do anything about it from here, I suppose. You stay here – not that you have any choice, really – and don't say a thing to anyone."

Unable to think of anything to say, Sagara blurted, "Where are you going?"

Chidori rose to her feet. "Mess hall," she said levelly. "Can't work on a defense with an empty stomach." Smiling, she stuck out her hand. "Congratulations, Sagara-san," she said warmly, "you've got yourself a lawyer."

( 0 0 0 )

After only a few hours in court, Chidori had to admit that things were not going well. Her defense, if it could even be called that, was based on the idea that Sagara, after watching his compatriots die in close quarters mecha combat, had become temporarily unhinged. She even called in Marioka as a witness, forcing him to recite what he had told her about soldiers simply snapping sometimes and trying to point out that if anyone was suffering this type of temporary psychosis, it was undoubtedly Sagara.

The judge, however – a man Chidori did not know – was not convinced… and Chidori could tell.

Sagara appraised her as she looked over her notes, thinking how admirably she had worked to defend him, even if she was implying that he was out of his mind. _And who knows?_ he thought, turning his attention back to the judge as the man prompted Chidori once more to provide any further evidence, _Perhaps if she had been given more time, she might have pulled it off._

Slowly, the girl spread her papers out over the desk, murmuring that she needed just one more minute, when the door to the makeshift courtroom slid open and Kurz – looking quite winded – came into the room, moving as fast as he could without actually running for fear of bringing the short tempered judge's wrath down upon him.

_What is he doing here?_ Sagara wondered as the blond man hurried to the defense table and pressed a piece of paper into Chidori's hand, whispering something too quiet for Sagara to catch.

"Take your time, why don't you?" he heard Chidori mutter under her breath. "I'm sweating bullets over here!" Raising her voice, she got to her feet and said, "Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty,' and due to new evidence recently brought to my attention, I would like to call Captain Teletha Testarossa to the stand."

The judge shook his head. "I'm afraid not, Miss Chidori," he said evenly. "Just give us your closing statement and rest your case. This… grandstanding tactic of 'last minute evidence,' though it looks good on court room dramas and in mangas, isn't even worthy of delaying my decision."

Chidori cleared her throat. "Begging the court's pardon," she said softly, "but aren't you even interested in hearing _why_ we would like to change our plea?"

"Not really," the judge said dryly. "Stalling for time isn't going to change the outcome, so-"

"I'm not stalling," Chidori cut in sharply. "I didn't ask for a recess, or more time – all I ask is five minutes, to ask a couple questions."

The judge threw his hands into the air. "Fine, Miss Chidori," he sighed gustily. "Change your plea, it really doesn't matter… but calling the Captain is out of the question until I've heard a compelling reason as to why I should allow it."

"Alright," Chidori said boldly. "Then my compelling reason is this – I believe that Captain Testarossa was a willing participant, and-"

"Stop right there," the judge said quickly. "Before you say another word, Miss Chidori, I believe it would be in your best interests to consider just how serious the accusation you're throwing around really is. Sex between operatives within the same division is strictly prohibited, and punishable by immediate dismissal of the superior officer and demotion of the subordinate."

"I understand that," Chidori countered, "but this new information I've come into possession of is nothing less than a signed and authorized request for transfer for Sergeant Sagara, dated by his immediate superior twelve hours prior to the incident in ques-"

The judge held his hand up for silence.

"Falsifying documents is-"

"Signed," Chidori cut in, holding up the paper, "dated… and notarized. See for yourself." Handing the document to the bailiff, she softly added, "You don't believe that a mere high school student like myself would have the time or the resources to falsify a document with the official Mithril watermark within twenty-four hours while confined to this submarine with no outside contact, do you, your honor?"

"You're pushing contempt, Miss Chidori," the judge said coldly, scanning the document before setting it on the desk in front of him. "If this was official, it would be in our system."

"Begging the court's pardon," Chidori said, choosing her words very carefully, "but Sergeant Sagara's acting commander, Sergeant Major Mao, was deployed less than an hour after signing this paper and handing it to her associate, Sergeant Weber. Mister Weber, regrettably… forgot to submit it before himself being deployed to watch over me."

"All of which is very convenient," the judge said dryly. "But does not really have a bearing on this matter."

"It does," Chidori concluded quietly, "if one considers that, in Sergeant Sagara's eyes, he was no longer a member of this division and this… rape, as you call it, was nothing more than a joining of two consenting parties to celebrate their newfound freedom from the system that had been restricting their affections."

"Mm," the judge hummed. "Then how do you explain the bite marks, Miss Chidori?"

Chidori cleared her throat. "Your honor," she said tactfully, "it isn't my place to guess at what kind of… tastes the captain and the sergeant happen to have – but if you will allow me to ask the captain directly, I am confident that she will come clean about this whole mix up. So far, she has not made a statement, correct? Therefore… if you'd like… I would be willing to consider her word on this matter final. If she says it was rape, I will change my client's plea to guilty. If she says it was consensual, then my client will – as he was trying to – transfer to the intelligence division, and we can put this matter behind us without any further embarrassment to himself, the captain, or… yourself, because I hate to say it, your honor, but when it comes out that you condemned an innocent man – the lover of Mithril's top captain, no less – I'm sure-"

"I don't take kindly to threats, Miss Chidori," the judge cut in sharply, rubbing his temples as Chidori's whirlwind tirade was finally interrupted, "so I will pretend I didn't hear that last comment. However… I will allow you to ask Captain Testarossa one question, to be answered yes or no, before passing my judgment – which will be final. Is that clear?"

"Of course, your honor."

The judge picked up the small phone on his table. "This is, of course, contingent on her availability," he said as he dialed the bridge. "I would guess, however, that – yes, Captain Testarossa? I know that you are busy, but I was wondering if you… yes, yes, that's exactly… no, ma'am, I have no objections. Very well… alright, we will see you in a moment."

It was unnecessary to state, as he hung up the phone, that the captain was on her way down, but the judge said it anyway.

As they waited, the judge drummed his fingers on the desk, assessing Chidori closely over the tops of his glasses. "While we're waiting," he said evenly, "I would like to ask… why the captain and the sergeant didn't simply, oh, I don't know – tell the truth?"

"Mm, a good point," Chidori said evasively. "Though I'm afraid I can't answer, since I've only been allowed to ask the captain one question, and to ensure my client's freedom, that will not be it."

"Your best speculation, then," the judge pressed, checking his watch. "Come, Miss Chidori, it will be several minutes until the captain can make her way down here. Enlighten me while we wait with your, no doubt inventive, theory on this matter."

Chidori shrugged. "If it would please the court for me to do so," she said carefully, "I would assume that the captain, presuming the truth that the transfer had not been documented, remained silent for fear of losing her command, and the sergeant, realizing the same, held his tongue for the same reason. Each being honor bound to the other, neither would break their silence and risk the other's reputation or position – especially without documentation to back things up, which would be impossible to procure with both Weber and Mao out on missions."

"An interesting theory," the judge admitted. "I suppose we have nothing left to discuss until the captain arrives and either supports, or destroys your theory."

"I would agree with that, sir."

Chidori met the judge's steady gaze, refusing to break eye contact as Sagara stared at her with a kind of dazed wonder, clearly amazed that she had managed to come up with such a clearly (to him, anyway) fabricated story on the spot, covering every angle as effortlessly as if it was pure fact.

After several minutes of silence, the door to the courtroom opened with a soft whoosh, and Tessa stepped through, keeping her eyes facing forward as she marched quietly up to the witness's chair and sat down, placing one hand on the bible and holding the other in the air as she agreed to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

"Captain," the judge said solicitously, "let me remind you that you are under no obligation to do this. The sex crimes act of '07, as well as Mithril guidelines for female employees, are clear in that no victim of a violent crime may be forced to testify. We have enough physical evidence as it stands."

"I understand, your honor," Tessa said quietly, "but I am willing to answer one question, if it will allow a… speedy resolution to this matter."

_Clever,_ Sagara thought approvingly. _That could be taken either way. Now it's all up to Chidori… though what she could ask that would clear this all up is a mystery to me._

"Captain," Chidori said politely. "It's good to see you again."

"And you as well, Miss Chidori," Tessa said formally. "Though I wish it was under better circumstances."

"Yeah," Chidori replied, "me too." Seeing that the judge was getting impatient, Chidori said, "I'm going to ask you a simple, yes or no question, Captain… and I would like an honest answer." She wet her lips, quickly adding, "I want the truth, captain… for your sake, as well as Sergeant Sagara's. Ok?"

Giving her a strange look, Tessa murmured, "Of course, Miss Chidori. I am the captain of this ship… I would never think of endangering my position for… for an enlisted man."

Sagara nodded as her eyes flicked briefly to his, then darted away. _She understands that it all comes down to this,_ he thought grimly. _Don't throw it away, Tessa-chan… not for me._

Chidori nodded as well, folding her arms over her chest as she stared into Tessa's eyes.

For several moments, neither said a word… and Sagara would have sworn that – just for a second – Tessa's eyes changed from their normal light gray to a dull red, and back again, but before he could ponder this, Chidori was speaking.

"On the night of the fifteenth of August," she said calmly, "the night Sergeant Sagara came into your quarters, did you or did you not…" as her hands clasped behind her back, Sagara saw her fingers cross, "lock your door?"

Tessa looked blank for a moment… then, all at once, her shoulders seemed to slump with relief, her eyes shining as she gave Chidori a soft smile and whispered, "No… no I didn't."

Giving the captain a polite bow, Chidori murmured, "Defense rests."

"Then if there's nothing else," the judge said calmly, "you are excused, Captain."

"No," Tessa said softly, "I would like to stay for your verdict, your honor."

The judge cleared his throat. "You… already know what it has to be, based on your answer, Captain."

Tessa smiled. "Yes, but I would still like to hear it."

"Very well."

Rising to his feet, the judge picked up his gavel.

"This court has come to the conclusion that the incident in question, specifically, the suspected rape of Captain Teletha Testarossa, on the evening of August fifteenth was nothing more than the consensual meeting of two willing parties. Sergeant Sagara, you are free to go – this court no longer has any reason to hold you. Dismissed."

Everyone – Chidori included – saluted the judge… who gave the high schooler a shrewd, glance.

"Well done, Miss Chidori," he said quietly, smiling as Tessa walked past Sagara's desk, brushing the back of his hand with her fingertips. "Truly… the only option in this case. But tell me something."

"What's that, sir?" Chidori asked, barely resisting the urge to collapse with relief as the witnesses filed out one by one.

"Knowing that it's standard procedure for a captain to lock his or her door when not on duty is as simple as looking at an operations manual," the judge said slowly. "Simple, but tedious – as the manual is over two thousand pages, and this fact is only mentioned once. Also, knowing that Captain Testarossa religiously locks her door every night, and that the computer on the ship has documented this fact, isn't something that would come up in normal conversation, and… well, your conversations with the sergeant were recorded, as were the books you accessed during your preparation time for the case, so I know for a fact that he didn't tell you, and that you didn't even _open_ the operations manual."

"All true," Chidori agreed, gathering up the few notes she had with her – notes, the judge noticed suddenly, that were all related to math and history. "So you're wondering how I knew what to ask?" she mused lightly. "Or, more specifically, how I knew that she wouldn't have unlocked her door after hours, as it would violate protocol, which she lives to observe, so the very fact that he was there in the first place means that she let him in, but that if she had actually been raped, she still would have locked the door and called security the very second he was asleep?"

Once again amazed by the girl's dizzying verbal speed, the judge mumbled, "Well, quite honestly… yes."

Chidori smiled, gesturing for Sagara to precede her out the door as she offered the judge the only reply he would get.

"Someone whispered it to me."

( 0 0 0 )

It took all of five days for Sagara to come to hate his new position in the Intelligence Division. He was given a cursory retraining in stealth and infiltration, and then assigned to monitor wiretaps and collate papers for his new commander, a man named Johnson who clearly had something personal against him.

The first five days, though, were nothing compared to the five _weeks_ he spent doing the same thing, day in and day out. The monotonous buzz of the monitoring headset was soporific, forcing him to find new and inventive ways to keep himself awake – some of them very nearly resulting in collateral damage and worsening Johnson's already poor image of him.

He heard nothing from the operatives aboard the Danaan, keeping Chidori's brief hug and softly whispered, "_This is the best I could do,"_ close to him as he diligently did his work. Tessa, of course, had not seen him off – a fact he could not complain about, as he had gone practically straight from the courtroom to the aircraft hanger, where he and the Arbalest were loaded onto a helicopter and whisked away to his new post.

Again, he could not complain about this sudden transfer. After all, as far as the paperwork was concerned, he was overdue by two days.

_But Tessa's command is safe,_ he told himself as he entered Johnson's spacious office to deliver his dull, uneventful reports. _That's all that matters._

He wished he could make himself believe this.

"Sagara," Johnson yawned as he finished up his report. "You have some passing familiarity with the Whispered protection program, correct?"

"Yes sir," Sagara replied. "In my last assignment, I was-"

"Yes, yes," Johnson cut in impatiently. "I've come across a situation that requires that I pull my best man off of one of the Whispereds, and I need someone to fill in for him. As you have experience in this area, I'm giving the assignment to you."

"Understood, sir."

Johnson looked irritable about having to use Sagara for anything past fetching coffee, and expressed his displeasure by saying, "Personally, I think you're an idiot, Sagara… I only took you because one of my subordinates signed the transfer papers while I was out with the flu, so getting rid of you like this is a double edged sword. On the one hand, I have to use you on a sensitive assignment, but on the other I get you out of my hair. Not a true 'win' in my opinion, but I suppose I have no choice, since you _do_ have the experience with the Whispereds."

Deciding that it was unwise to inform the man that the dislike was mutual, Sagara simply nodded. "Understood, sir."

"You'll be posing as a high school student."

Johnson immediately had Sagara's attention.

"Tomorrow, you will be transferred to the Tuatha de Danaan," the man continued, lacing his hands behind his head and watching Sagara closely. "From there, you will be inserted into the school the Whispered attends as a transfer student. This should all be old hat for you, Sergeant… you were chosen for this operation because the Whispered you will be watching is familiar too you, and it will save the organization the trouble of finding and inserting another operative to watch over her."

Finally finding his voice, Sagara whispered, "Who ordered this, sir?"

"Watch your tongue, son," Johnson said sharply. "No one tells the Intelligence Division what to do – we operate under our own recognizance. My man is needed elsewhere, and you just happen to be what I need to fill his shoes, is that clear? Christ on a cross, we don't run this outfit for your amusement, junior."

"Sir, yes sir!"

"Dismissed."

Sagara bowed, but as he turned to leave, the phone on Johnson's desk began to ring.

"Johnson here," the man said briskly. "Yes, yes it's been taken care of… what's that? Yes, he's still here… alright, understood. Sagara."

Glancing over his shoulder, Sagara replied, "Yes sir?"

"Here," Johnson said, holding out the handset, "it's your commanding officer on the Danaan."

It was all Sagara could do not to lunge forward and snatch the phone from the man's hand. "Yes," he said quickly, "yes, hello?"

"Sergeant Sagara… how good to hear your voice."

Sagara's mouth worked for several moments before he managed to splutter, "K-Kalinin…?"

"Yes," the man on the other end of the line replied. "You were expecting someone else? I _am_ your direct superior for this operation, Sergeant, as I was when you were stationed on this ship."

"O-of course, sir," Sagara said quickly, "I was simply… unaware that you had recovered already, sir."

Kalinin sounded amused. "Mm," he hummed. "Yes, well, I'll make this brief… there will be time for chitchat later, since it seems you'll be on loan to us for a time. You will report back at her at 0:800 hours tomorrow, at which time, you will be deployed and…"

Sagara listened carefully as his orders were outlined, wondering suddenly if perhaps he had fallen asleep while listening to the wiretaps as he acknowledged that he understood the instructions.

"That is all, Sergeant."

"Yes, sir."

"Oh, I almost forgot," Kalinin said casually.

"Forgot what, sir?" Sagara wondered.

"Just a moment."

There was a moment of dead air… and another voice came onto the line.

"Hello, Sergeant Sagara…"

Sagara's hand gripped the phone so tight his knuckles cracked. "Captain Testarossa."

"I understand you will be under my command again starting tomorrow," the young woman's voice whispered, sounding like heaven to Sagara's ears. "I look forward to working with you again, Sergeant."

"Yes," he replied a little too quickly. "I look forward to that as well, ma'am."

"Well then, I will see you tomorrow," Tessa murmured, adding – almost too softly for him to hear, "and Sergeant?"

"Yes ma'am?"

"…we will need to find an appropriate time for me to give you that item we discussed just before your deployment to Belgestan."

Sagara barely kept his knees from wobbling as he replied, "Understood, ma'am."

"Goodbye, Sergeant Sagara."

"Goodbye, Captain."

Handing the phone back, Sagara gave Johnson a formal bow. As he reached the door, however, he was brought up short as Johnson murmured, "Sergeant Sagara, if you see Mister Weber on the Danaan…"

"Yes sir?"

Johnson pulled a cigar out of a small humidor on his desk, biting the end off and spiting it with unerring precision onto the toe of Sagara's boot.

"Tell him I said the books are clear."

Nodding, Sagara whispered, "Understood."

Returning to the barracks, Sagara packed in record time, shoving his clothes into a duffle bag so quickly that they almost came unfolded. Almost… because he was still himself, after all. As he did not have many personal effects to begin with, it did not take him very long, and soon, he was ready to go.

Very deliberately, he kept himself from thinking of what was to come. It had been over a month since he had seen Chidori or Tessa, but he was not concerned that either would not be happy to see him – Tessa's offhanded comment about giving him the 'item' she had promised so long ago had put any fears of that nature to rest. No, what concerned Sagara was that he might not be able to contain himself when he was again within arm's reach of the captain.

There was a time, and not so long ago, that he could have denied that he felt anything for her… but given as much time as he had with nothing but his own thoughts, and considering the end of the court-martial, and the fact that everyone would know they were in a relationship, it would be impossible for him to say – with a straight face, anyway – that there was nothing between them.

_And yet, some things will not change,_ he thought critically. _I'll still be assigned to watch Chidori, so I won't be on the Danaan all that much… and Chidori knows exactly what's happened, so I won't need to hide it from her. So in essence, it will be business as usual when I'm in Japan, and when I'm on the Danaan, since it will be unlikely that we will be allowed much time alone. Relationships of this type, even between members of different divisions, are still frowned upon._

"What was it we decided when we first started this affair?" he mused to himself, running his finger idly along the strap of his duffle. "Complicated… that's what we said it would be…"

Sagara had no doubts this word barely even began to cover the intricacies of his relationship with Tessa. It was going to be a tough road – had already become one, when you get right down to it – but simply picturing her smile, as trite as it seemed, was enough to remind him that it would be worth every second.

"Sergeant Sagara."

Sagara rose to his feet and gave his pilot a crisp salute.

"Ready to go, sir?"

Throwing his duffle bag over his shoulder, Sagara gave the man an enigmatic smile.

"No," he corrected quietly. "Ready to go home…"

Confused, the man just shrugged, and led Sagara to the waiting helicopter.

The End

Final Notes: I never planned to supplant, or carry this story through, the original ending of the series. This story was always meant to be a 'drop-in,' meaning that if it had really happened, it could be dropped into the regular continuity without disrupting anything. Now clearly, with everyone knowing about Sagara and Tessa's relationship, this isn't entirely possible… though I'd like to think I still left it open enough to say, 'this COULD have happened in the series without anyone noticing, if they kept their romance behind closed doors and just did their duties otherwise.' If I failed in that, I can only apologize, and hope that at the very least, I provided a bit of light reading for your morning/afternoon/evening/whenever you read.

Pre-read on this chapter, as with the rest of this story, was by LeperMessiah, who argued quite strongly for a change in the courtroom scene, and who I failed by not being able to come up with a more realistic exchange. So for anyone who knows how a real military court works (or any courtroom, really, I'm not too good at that), and can see right through my lame fabrication, I was warned about it… I just couldn't fix it.


End file.

Full Metal Panic, Drama, Romance