Grey's Anatomy 1. Chapter 1

**I have to be honest...Jackson is pissing me off! He takes no responsibility for the way things are between him and April. This story is a response to their conversation after they marry their patient's in 10x2. I am thinking this will be a one shot, a what-if-April-had-some-backbone-and-wasn't-a-pusho ver one shot. If I get interest I might expand. Depends on your responses, so let me know! Thanks for reading.**

**Btw, to my The Fall readers, I am updating soon, so don't worry. I am not forgetting about it! Thanks for your patience!**

Something Real

April

April's jaw hung as if it would never be back off the floor. Jackson had flung his accusations at her and tore her apart with his words. His eyes were cold and hard and the ugliest she had ever seen them. His tone was harsh and accusing.

Jackson had just stopped telling her it was all about her. What it was supposed to be like as he gestured to their patient's room. And now he was telling her she was afraid.

There was a palpable silence that fell between them when April sneered and said, "I'm scared? Maybe I was...but not anymore. Because I was honest with you. You..._you_ couldn't tell the truth or share your feelings with a woman if it would save your life. _YOU _are terrified of having something real with a woman. Because the last time you did, you got burned and badly. And that's why _you _ran from _me_! Remember?"

Jackson stood up straight, his eyes flashing with anger at her as she continued. April didn't care though. She also didn't care that some of the nurses and floor clerks were looking their way, trying to listen in on the fight brewing between the two surgeons.

April pointed towards their newlywed patients' room and hissed, "You don't think I know _that _is what it's supposed to be like? I know _that _better than anyone because when we were together I didn't get it from you! You treated me like you treat Stephanie and any other woman you have gotten involved with. Well, besides Lexie. You can pin everything that has gone wrong between us on me if you want, but that only make _you _a coward, Jackson. Take responsibility for once! You never treated me right when we were...you know, we were never even together. I just warmed up the on call room for you. You are so terrified to be like you grandfather, but that is exactly what you have become. Enjoying keeping everyone at arm's length, preventing any chance of a real relationship."

With that she spun on her heel and stormed away, covering her mouth up to quell the sob that had been brewing in her chest since he had started their fight.

April slipped into the first hiding spot she could find and sank to the floor, releasing her sob and tears. She rested her forehead in her palms as she tried desperately to calm herself down. She felt guilty for hurting Jackson, but she didn't realize how angry she had been at him. Until this moment she didn't feel like it was ever over between them. But now it felt like that. And her heart was breaking.

She had lost her best friend and the man she loved. April pinched her eyes closed and inhaled deeply when the door cracked open and clicked shut. She peeked up and exhaled when she spotted Cristina. Why, why, why did Cristina have to be the one to come in at her lowest point?

Cristina sat down across from her and was silent. April waited for the teasing or the humiliation to begin, but surprisingly it didn't come.

"Breaking up sucks," Cristina said quietly, looking down into her own lap.

"We weren't even together," April said, her voice ragged.

"Yeah," Cristina said looking at her knowingly, "Neither were me and Owen, but...but we were at the same time."

April looked up at her in surprise. Cristina was trying to relate. While it weirded her out, April appreciated her kind intentions.

"That….sucks," April concluded, resting her head against the shelf behind her. She wiped her face and then closed them as she felt her heart constrict.

Cristina sat with her for five minutes before she suggested, "Hey, why don't we get out of here before people think we are trying to outdo Torres and Robbins in the interracial lesbian relationship category?"

April laughed and then nodded and said, "Yeah."

"Mer has been too busy with that baby to get a drink with me. Wanna go to Joe's?" Cristina asked as she helped April to her feet.

April nodded as she wiped her face once more, "Yeah that sounds good."

Cristina gave her a small smile and nodded as she led April out of the closet.

Jackson

Jackson lay in an on call room with Stephanie as she slept soundly against him. Her head rested on his chest as he gently rubbed circles on her back. She had had a rough night. They both had. Jackson was exhausted and now he felt...he couldn't describe it. Terrible wasn't even the tip of the iceberg.

The way he was feeling was all because of his fight with April. With every word she said, he felt more and more like the coward and asshole she had accused him of being. She had gone below the belt to say he had become his grandfather.

Jackson shifted minimally under Stephanie's weight, but she stirred and blinked her eyes open. "You okay?"

Jackson looked down into her face and nodded, "Yeah, just can't sleep."

She nodded and said, "You want to talk about it?"

Jackson shook his head and murmured, "There isn't anything to talk about."

Stephanie looked at him and then nodded before resting her chin on his chest and asking, "I heard you had a fight with Dr. Kepner. Is everything okay?"

Jackson sighed and then slowly sat up so as not to knock her off the cot.

"Jackson?" she asked, confused as he stood and slipped his sneakers back on.

"Nothing, I just gotta go," he said quietly as he reached for his white lab coat and pager.

"I...I'm sorry I didn't mean to push you to talk to me about it, you don't have to if you don't want to," Stephanie stammered out nervously.

"No, no I really do have a patient to check on. The one with flesh eating bacteria," Jackson reminded her as he stood.

"So you aren't mad?" Stephanie asked nervously, biting on her lower lip.

"No, no of course not," Jackson said, kissing her forehead before leaving the on call room in a hurry.

Jackson made his way to the nurses' station, running his conversation with April over in his head over and over, trying to make sense of it. Was any of the stuff she said true? Jackson had only seen April like that one other time and it was when she had stood up to that guy the night before the boards and punched him in the face.

_Take responsibility for once! _

Jackson scowled as he tried to understand...was it possible that he was to blame for the horrible state their relationship was in?

Jackson walked past the darkened room of his patient, who was now sleeping. Her new husband sat awake, staring at her and holding her hand in his as she slept. He looked terrified and exhausted, but resolved to stay awake and by her bedside.

Jackson walked in and said, "How are you doing? How is she?"

"She is sleeping finally," he said as he rubbed his face with one hand.

"I didn't get a chance to say it before, but congratulations. You are both lucky," Jackson said sincerely.

He nodded and smiled down at his wife and said, "We are...but, well it wasn't always easy for us. Relationships are messy. They take work, especially if you both work in the same place. But...once we stopped fighting each other, it was….well, it's perfect. I just...I am so worried about...," he trailed off, gesturing towards her bandages. Jackson nodded in understanding and looked at his watch.

"I am going to let her sleep for a little while longer and then I will come in and change her bandages, see what progress the medicines we have been pushing have made. We will develop a plan from there. Okay?" Jackson said, trying to reassure the man.

He nodded and then looked up at Jackson and said, "Thanks. And thanks...for marrying us. I need my girl," he said, his eyes fixed once more on his sleeping wife.

_I need my girl. _The words were so simple, but they touched something in Jackson that caused him to inhale sharply. Jackson excused himself, leaving the anxious man to look after his wife.

Jackson sat at the nurses' station, updating his patient's stats into her charts.

_YOU are terrified of having something real with a woman. Because the last time you did, you got burned and badly._

Lexie. April had been talking about Lexie. And she was right. He had gotten burned badly by Lexie. He had felt used and betrayed when he realized how badly Lexie still loved Sloan. He had broken it off with her, but it had hurt. Because he had loved her. By the time April happened in San Francisco, he thought he was truly over it.

_You never treated me right when we were... you know, we were never even together. I just warmed up the on call room for you. _

Of everything Jackson had heard from April tonight, that was the worst. She thought that he had used her. Like Lexie had used him. She thought she was someone to warm his sheets. He never wanted her to feel like that. Jackson pinched the bridge of his nose and focused on his charting once more but snippets of April's speech made their way in his thoughts, driving him insane.

He glanced up into his patient's room and saw his patient's husband kissing her hand and smoothing her bangs off to the side of her face as she slept.

_You don't think I know that is what it's supposed to be like? I know that better than anyone because when we were together I didn't get it from you!_

Jackson looked down at his chart, realizing that he hadn't done much to him since he sat down. Jackson pushed all thoughts but medicine from his mind and finished the chart before standing and putting it in the rack it belonged in.

He walked back to an on call room, hoping to get some sleep. But he doubted he would. His mind was like a cave with April's words bouncing around against the walls.

**So, what did you think? I have yet to see last night's show, but I feel like Japril is getting worse, not better. Eek. Anyway, please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

**So I decided to see where this goes. Let me know what you think! And last week's ep…? Does anyone else think Jackson is a hypocrite for telling Stephanie she needs to communicate….**

**Erg.**

**I love him but he is being a big assface this season.**

Something Real

Chapter 2

Jackson

Jackson's nerves were all over the place as he entered the elaborate circus gala that was being thrown to raise money for repairs. He walked through the event and while it was spectacular, it was not the elegant gala he had had in mind.

He spotted the event planner dressed in a screaming yellow, feathered gown that matched the event. Jackson strode towards her, trying not to let the donors know that this wasn't the event that he had planned for them. He plastered his most charming Avery smile he could muster and grabbed the event planner hissing under his breath about what sort of event this was.

As she gestured around the room, trying to explain her vision something caught Jackson's eye across the room. April. A vision in a pink and white faded dress. She looked stunning. Her eyes were lit with wonder as she glanced around the room, taking in the magical scene, and his lips and tongue ached to rake up and down that long and slender neck of hers.

Jackson shook his head and focused on his event planner once more. He accepted that it was too late to change the event as guests were already oohing and ahhing over the contortionists and aerial acrobats. Jackson just said, "Just make sure this all goes perfectly."

The planner nodded and flounced off as she went to check that everything was in order. Jackson glanced back to where April was to find that she was gone. He couldn't' spot her anywhere though and frowned when he did. He spotted Alex drinking at the bar and said, "Shouldn't you be schmoozing for you department?"

Alex grunted in annoyance as he downed the rest of his drink. Jackson spotted Jo Wilson looking between Alex and the donor she was busy chatting up. Jackson nudged Alex and said, "I think your girlfriend is calling."

Again, Alex only grunted and got another drink. Jackson grabbed a champagne flute that was passing by on a tray and frowned when he realized it was warm. "This is warm," he said to Alex in frustration.

Alex had either stopped listening to him or he was too drunk to care.

He looked for the planner, but couldn't spot her anywhere.

"No ice to put the champagne in," the bartender said to him.

"How...how is that even possible!?" Jackson hissed.

The bartender just shrugged. It wasn't his problem and Jackson scowled as his mind raced for a solution. Suddenly it popped in his head.

Cooling blankets. He looked around for someone to send, but they were all immersed in conversations that were trying to save the hospital he was desperately trying to save. He couldn't leave. Jackson reached in his pocket and texted Stephanie, requesting that she bring him all the cooling blankets she could.

He looked up from his phone and spotted April laughing with Brent Cauley, a major potential investor that owned a fortune 500 company. Jackson grit his teeth when his phone beeped.

_You are kidding, right?_ Stephanie texted back.

Jackson looked down in confusion at the phone and texted, _No, please just do it._

He took her lack of response that she would do it. Jackson put his phone back in his pocket and looked back towards April and Brent. Hopefully she didn't blow it. From where he was standing he thought that it was going a little too well. Brent was smiling down at April, completely charmed by her or pulling off one hell of an act.

Jackson continued to watch them when Brent touched her elbow and gestured towards the bar. April nodded, clearly saying she could use a drink. Jackson scowled and watched as she turned back toward the fire breather near her as Brent walked towards him and the bar.

Jackson coughed and began walking towards April when Cristina cut him off from his intended path.

"Yang, how is the fundraising going?" he asked.

"It is going fine. How about you?" she asked, with a raised eyebrow.

Jackson shrugged and said, "I have been making some excellent progress, but there are some technical issues with the party I have had to deal with."

Cristina only nodded and Jackson said, "Well, I should get back to-"

"Leave her alone," Cristina said, standing in his way once more.

"What-" Jackson began, a confused scowl on his face.

"April, leave her alone. I mean it," Cristina said quietly, but seriously.

"Cristina-"

"She is barely hanging on," Cristina said, "She feels terrible and it's because of whatever happened between you."

Jackson swallowed back the guilt he felt as he looked towards April, who clapped and laughed at a contortionist in delight as he licked his own back.

"She isn't tough. You know she isn't. Standing up for herself the other day took a lot and now she is trying to build herself back up. Like I said, she is barely hanging on. And what you need to do is leave her alone," Cristina said.

Jackson grit his teeth and said, "No offense, but you don't know anything about this. You should stay out of it."

"I should, but I won't. Because while she isn't tough, I am and I have no reservations about stopping you," Cristina snapped.

Jackson and her stared each other down until Cristina softened and said, "You...you told her you were done with her. Let her get over you then."

Jackson felt her words hit him and he realized how he had been pushing April away but also hanging on so hard to her at the same time. And it wasn't fair to her.

Jackson looked down at his shoes, feeling his eyes prickle. He blinked a few times and coughed before looking back up at Cristina and nodding. He glanced towards April one more time before refocusing on Cristina. He turned and walked away, towards the bar.

"Scotch neat," he asked the bartender.

"Shouldn't you be schmoozing for you department?" Alex asked snidely.

"Shut up," Jackson said as he downed his glass of scotch.

April

April laughed as Brent Cauley told her a story of his worst ER experience ever. The waiting apparently was the best part of his experience. Wherever it happened, April would probably skip seeking medical care there.

April was fairly certain Brent Cauley would be making a donation. As they talked about the hospital and the magical event they were at, Cristina walked up to April and smiled at her and then Brent. April introduced them and April suspiciously wondered if Cristina was trying to steal her donor, but despite her polite input to their conversation she was overall silent.

Brent went to go grab more drink and April turned to Cristina who was resolutely standing near her for some unknown reason to April. She decided to let it go and looked towards the acrobats twirling in the brightly colored fabrics.

Cristina said, "I am pretty sure Mr. Cauley will be asking for more than a donation, Kepner."

"Wha-no. It wasn't like that," April said, blushing furiously.

Cristina smiled and said, "You need a little more confidence. That donor over there thinks I will be going home with him tonight. Really I just want his money. This benefit is where it's a single and ready to mingle."

"I am not single, I am engaged," April reminded her with a chuckle.

Cristina shrugged and said, "So you say."

April's eyebrows furrowed together as she tried to figure out what Cristina meant, but that thought was interrupted by a microphone turning on and Jackson hopping on stage, drawing all eyes to him.

It was odd to see Jackson between the two women hanging on either side of him as they defied gravity. April watched as one of the women seemed to lose her balance. April screamed, "LOOK OUT!"

She didn't know what happened to her champagne glass as she bolted towards the stage. The acrobat shrieked in panic and began to fall just as April reached the stage. Gasps of horror echoed off the walls of the banquet hall as April tried to brace herself for the woman now falling towards her.

"April NO!" Jackson shouted, but he was too late. April felt the dancer crash into her. April fell back, her head cracking against the hard floor of the stage. She felt the dancer move on top of her as her vision blurred. She felt like she was going to be sick as she heard pandemonium break out in the ballroom.

She heard three or four different people say her name and the distinct smell of vomit fill her nostrils before she passed out.

**So I swapped April for the planner. I think if April would have been at the event when it happened, her trauma instincts would have kicked in. She is just a badass that way. In my mind at least. **


	3. Chapter 3

**I want to thank everyone for the awesome reviews and the support. It means a lot. I am glad y'all are enjoying it. I was very 'meh' about last night's episode, but one thing that did not disappoint was Catherine Avery. I loved her being so tough on Stephanie.**

**I am really struggling with the new interns and getting used to them being on the shows as regulars. I feel like Grey's is shoving them down our throats by pairing all of them with regulars. Anyway, that is just how I feel about it. What about you? **

**Back to it I guess, so please enjoy my take and let me know what you think!**

Something Real

Chapter 3

Jackson

Jackson stood in shock as he watched April seize beneath the dancer. He was frozen to the spot as Callie, Cristina and Owen jumped to the stage to assess the new patients. The acrobat stood, thinking she was fine despite Callie's warnings and suddenly her bone was popping through her skin as she cried out in extreme pain.

It was her screams that snapped Jackson out of his terror and jumped forward. He began barking to the crowd to give them room and to call ambulances. Callie began working with the dancer immediately and Owen was cradling April who had been vomiting, but was now unconscious. Jackson moved to his side and said, "We need to get her to-"

Shepherd cut him off by jumping on stage and opening each of April's closed lids and tenderly looking at the growing lump on the back of April's head.

"She has cranial swelling, we need to get her into the OR now," Shepherd said seriously. Jackson began to protest, but Owen said, "Jackson, you have an event to run," as an ambulance crew arrived. April was in more immediate danger as she had swelling in her brain so she went first.

Jackson's head spun. It was all happening too fast. April...the acrobat...the shocked crowd. Jackson wanted to stay by April's side as they secured her to the gurney and whisked her away. Without even thinking he followed it and began to climb in the ambulance before Hunt stopped him.

"Avery, you need to stay. We have her," Hunt said sternly.

"But-" Jackson protested as he watched April begin seizing once more.

"WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE NOW!" Shepherd roared in anger as he furiously worked to stabilize April.

"It's not about you man, it's about April," Hunt said sternly before shutting the ambulance door in his face.

Jackson watched as the ambulance sped off, sirens blaring. Jackson stood outside before he heard the other gurney being brought out with the sobbing acrobat. Cristina was also rushing with her.

"Whoa, Yang, where are you going?" Jackson called out.

"Shane needs me. He went in on a heart in the ER," Yang said as he picked up the end of her gown and crawled in the ambulance.

"I am coming," he demanded as he went towards the ambulance.

"You should really worry about crowd control," Callie said, as Cristina nodded. "The crowd looks like they are going to bolt. You need to turn this around."

The paramedic slammed the door in Jackson's face for the second time that night and he growled in frustration as he spotted the first few stragglers coming out of the party.

His head spun as it felt like he was being pulled in two different directions as April went in one direction and the event behind him was falling apart. The need to be with April and the need to finish out this event warred within him as he fought to find a solution. He rushed into the event, an idea forming in his head as he thought about everything more and more.

April

April woke up, her head pounding as she heard beeping that was familiar. She tried opening her eyes, but they fought her. This happened a few times, exhaustion taking over her each time until she was able to crack her eyes open.

She realized she was in the hospital. As her eyes opened wider, she began to focus and she recognized Matthew, sleeping in a chair with a hospital blanket draped over him. On the small loveseat she noticed Shepherd looking over some films and making notes in a chart.

She groaned as she felt a throbbing pain behind her eyes and Shepherd snapped to attention and smiled as he looked her over.

"How are you feeling?" he asked gently.

"My head..." she said, her voice raspy.

"We had to go in and open up a burr hole in your skull because you had a subdural hematoma causing some pressure," he explained as he flashed a flashlight pen in her eyes and checked her stats. Even though she was a doctor, her brain didn't seem to want to think at such a fast pace.

"Am...am I okay?" she asked idiotically.

"You are more than okay. And you probably saved the acrobats life. If you hadn't broken her fall, she would have fallen on her neck and broken it," Shepherd said.

"She is okay?" April asked, now remembering the horrifying event that landed her here in the hospital.

"She has a broken leg, but Torres is all over it," Shepherd reassured her, "she wants to see you to thank you for your quick reflexes."

April said, "Anybody would have done it. I just got there first."

Shepherd only smiled at her and said, "Everything looks good, I am just going to go make notes in your chart."

"When can I leave?" she asked groggily.

"Not for a while. I need to monitor you, then we will talk about home care and then when you can come back to work," Shepherd said.

April groaned and Shepherd asked, "You need some pain meds?"

"No, I am fine, just tired," April said groggily.

"Take the pain meds," Matthew said as he stood, blinking the sleep from his worried eyes.

April gave a small smile and said, "You didn't have to sleep here."

"I wanted to," Matthew said as he stood and took her hand in his.

She teared up and he leaned down and kissed her forehead softly, "Don't scare me like that again," he whispered, his voice catching in his throat.

April nodded, even though it hurt her head causing her to wince in pain.

Matthew noticed and reached for the pain med button. He pushed it and said, "Go back to sleep, sweetheart."

April nodded but before she did she held onto his hands and said, "Matthew. I know you have been confused and worried about...everything that has been going on. I know you think I am confused, but I think I got some sense knocked into me. Literally," she said touching her forehead gently, causing Matthew to chuckle.

"April, we don't have to talk-"

"Yes, we do. I want you to know that I was confused before, but I am not. I want to marry you, because you...you are the best, and kindest man I have ever met. And I love you. So...so will you marry me?" she said, her heart fluttering in nervous anxiety.

Matthew smiled and kissed her gently against her lips and said, "Of course I will. I love you so much."

She smiled and tears streaked down her cheeks as she felt the meds begin to cause her vision to blur. "Love you," she said weakly as her eyes fluttered closed.

The last thing she remembered was feeling Matthew's lips against hers before she fell asleep.

**So I am doing things in a weird way...I am sort of rewriting this season, taking what I like and leaving out what I don't like. Hope you like it!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Happy Monday everyone! It has been awhile and it's because I am beginning to slowly lose faith in Jackson and April on the show….eek, I never wanted to lose faith, but...I just don't know…? What do you all think? Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please drop me a line to tell me what you think.**

Something Real

Chapter 4

April

April was awoken by the light in her room being turned on abruptly. She groaned and whined, "That is not how you wake a patient."

She cracked her eye open and spotted Stephanie. She closed her eyes once more, allowing her brain to wake up a little before she sat. She prepared herself to be prodded by Edwards. As Edwards performed her examination, April silently prayed her recovery was on track. She really wanted to be discharged today, and Shepherd would not be releasing her until he was sure she was okay.

April however was tired of being woken up like this and be prodded and poked every five minutes.

Edwards began to change April's bandage and asked, "Any tenderness or discomfort?"

"None," April said.

Stephanie continued to work silently as she cleaned the incision site and replace the bandage.

"Dr. Kepner?" Stephanie asked.

"Yes?" April asked as she rubbed her tired eyes. Sleeping at the hospital wasn't the best place to get sleep, especially as a patient.

"You know Dr. Avery?" Stephanie asked.

April furrowed her brow in confusion. "Jackson?"

"No...sorry, I should have been clearer. I meant Dr. Catherine Avery. His mother?" she asked.

"Yes, I know her. Why?" April asked as Stephanie finished up.

"Jackson asked me to meet her and...I just was wondering what to expect. I bought a nice shirt and-"

"Catherine Avery isn't going to worry about small details like that. She is...you will see when you meet her. She is amazing," April said, her heart hammering inside her chest as she realized that Jackson really had moved on. He was introducing Stephanie to his mother and he hadn't even come by to see her in the hospital while everyone else had. Even Alex.

She reminded herself that she was moving on too. And it was good. It was okay. She was okay. Or she was going to be.

Stephanie hadn't said anything and it was clear that April's comment hadn't comforted the frightened intern. "I am sure your shirt it perfect and that Catherine will love it...and you," she added gently. Stephanie really was great.

Stephanie beamed at April and thanked her before bouncing out of her room. April lay back on hospital bed and tried to go back to sleep. When she woke, she wanted to be anywhere but here.

Jackson

Jackson was working on allocating new donor funds to specific areas of the hospital that needed it. He would send it to the budget planning committee for their approval. He had saved the hospital from closing again. Jackson finished and lay back on the bed in the on call room he had been camped out in.

The door opened to his girlfriend who clearly had been looking for him.

"So, what do you think?" she asked.

Jackson had no idea what he was talking about and it must have shown because she became exasperated and said, "My shirt!"

"It's nice...why?" he asked.

"Your mother is coming and I need to look perfect!" she exclaimed

Jackson chuckled and said, "She will love it."

Soon the shirt that she had on became a problem for him as he persuaded her into an on call room romp and he quickly began to unbutton it as he pulled her to lie on top of him. Jackson groaned as Stephanie rolled her hips against him as he massaged her bra covered breasts. She moaned as he did so until the door swung open, causing them both to jump.

By the time Jackson's brain registered that his mother had walked in on him and Stephanie, his girlfriend had already jumped up off of him, trying to cover as much of herself as possible.

His mother scowled at Jackson and Stephanie and said, "Jackson. Where are your manners?"

"Mom, this is Stephanie Edwards," Jackson said as he straightened his scrub top and pull up his pants up. "Steph, this is my mom."

Jackson grimaced as he recognized the look on his mother's face. Disapproval. And not only was there disapproval strong across her features, but the look that told Jackson that his mother had already written Stephanie off.

She made a grunt of disapproval as she left the on call room. Jackson groaned as he sat on the bed and rubbed his face. Stephanie pursed her lips, her face horrified. In a small voice she said, "I don't think she liked my shirt."

Jackson shook his head and left the room to go find his mother and try to do damage control, leaving Stephanie to button her shirt up.

"Mom," he said spotting her walking towards Richard's room.

"Mom, hold up," he said as he reached her.

"You are aware that you are on the board of this hospital, as well as an _Avery_," she bit out. She was pissed. Jackson rolled his eyes as she complained to Richard about what she had to endure to get him the pillows she was now putting behind Richard's back.

"Who taped these IV lines? They are a mess!" she said, irritated and bound to criticize every single thing she could now, "Maybe it was _Edwards_. She obviously is not concerned about patient care."

Jackson tried to control his temper, really not wanting to have this fight in front of Richard.

"That is not fair, Mom," Jackson said, leveling her with an annoyed glance.

"This is not me being a prude, I like sex just as much as the next person, but there is a time and there is a place!" his mother said as Jackson groaned.

Jackson knew he wasn't going to have a reasonable conversation with his mother until she calmed down. She continued to nitpick things wrong with Richards care and at the mention of Stephanie's breasts he walked out, knowing if he didn't he would lose his patience.

Jackson walked around the floor, looking for Stephanie to see how she was doing, but couldn't find her. He stopped when he realized he was right outside of April's room.

She was standing and in a pair of sweatpants and a matching sweater. She was folding something and packing it into a bag. Jackson hadn't been to visit her because...well, because he couldn't. Every time he began to go check on her Cristina's voice rang through his head, _Leave her alone. You told her you were done with her. Let her get over you then._

But now as he saw her, he realized how much he had missed her. She looked so small in that little outfit. She practically swam in her clothes. Jackson began to walk into her room, just to ask her how she was feeling but stopped when she turned and saw him.

He smiled a small smile at her, but she didn't return it. She looked down at her small bag and he took the last few steps to be within talking distance.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Are you asking as a doctor?" she asked, her voice cold.

Jackson looked at her in confusion, "What?"

April only shook her head, and said, "Nevermind. Bye Jackson."

She walked right past him and he followed her asking, "So you are pissed I didn't come see you?"

April remained silent as she continued to walk.

"Look, I am sorry. I have been really-"

"Busy?" she asked, cutting him off.

Jackson kept pace with her and he realized how shitty that excuse really was as she said it.

"April, wait," he tried again in a reasonable voice.

She stopped and leveled him with a look that told him how much he had hurt her by not coming to see her. To check on her.

"Jackson...just...leave me alone. Alright?" she said, her voice cracking and her eyes tearing up.

Jackson felt hopeless and nodded as April turned and walked away. Jackson considered following her, but spotted Matthew turning the corner. He was obviously there to take her home.

"Jackson?"

Jackson spun, spotting his girlfriend, now dressed in scrubs as she walked towards him.

"Does your mother hate me?" she asked nervously.

Jackson sighed, not wanting to deal with this.

April

Matthew had his arm wrapped around her as he guided her out of the hospital when someone called out her name.

She turned towards the person and spotted Dr. Avery. She sighed and Matthew asked, "What?"

"I just...I don't want to deal with anyone else today," she said quietly before Catherine reached them.

"Honey, I heard about the accident. How are you? They are discharging you already?" she asked in disbelief as she looked April over.

April nodded and said, "I am much better. How are you Dr. Avery?"

"Call me Catherine please, honey. You would not believe the day I have had so far! Did you know that Jackson is dating an intern? A real tart too," Catherine said disapprovingly.

"Dr. Edwards shows promise as an intern," April offered after a second, not knowing what else to say.

"Well let me tell you, she shows no promise as a love interest for Jackson," Catherine said, clearly upset by something.

"April, should I pull the car around?" Matthew asked, who had so far remained quiet during the conversation.

"Dr. Avery, this is Matthew Taylor, my fiancé," she introduced.

"Fiancé, well I have heard about your proposal and almost nothing about you. How lovely to meet you. You have managed to snag one of the best, Mr. Taylor," Catherine said, looking fondly to April.

"I am well aware," Matthew said, kissing April sweetly on the temple.

"I am going to pull the car up. You will be okay?" he asked April.

April smiled and nodded and Catherine said, "I will keep an eye on her."

Matthew nodded in thanks and walked towards exit to get the car. April looked back to Catherine and they walked slowly towards the door. "Honey, it is so good to see you. You have been too busy with that man to return my calls, let alone keep me updated on Jackson. I am a little vexed that you didn't warn me my son was acting a fool with an intern."

"I...yeah I have been focusing on Matthew and the boards," she said awkwardly, wondering what was taking Matthew so long.

"Well, what do you know about Dr. Edwards besides her intern sufficiency?" Catherine asked.

"I don't...really know anything about her personally except that she is involved with Jackson."

"Well, what does Jackson say about her to you?" Catherine asked, "Is he serious about her?"

April shrugged, really not liking the place Catherine was putting her in.

"You must know _something_, dear. You are Jackson's best friend. Is he behind your silence? Did he buy you off to not tell me anything?" she teased.

April suddenly couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Catherine, Jackson and I are no longer friends. We haven't been for awhile. I hope he is happy with everything, but...but...we aren't friends. Not anymore," she concluded weakly once more.

Catherine looked at her in shock, but thankfully Matthew finally showed and rescued her as she shot him a desperate glance.

"Well I should get you home," he said, grabbing her purse and saying, "It was nice meeting you Dr. Avery."

Catherine, who was still shocked over April's outburst, finally nodded to Matthew and said, "You too, young man."

April sighed in relief, taking comfort in Matthew's arms once more before Catherine called out, "April we'll talk!"

April closed her eyes, thankful her back was to Catherine before she allowed Matthew to guide her out of the hospital and into his car.

**So let me know what you all think? I hoped you liked it!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hi everyone! Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed. Please keep up your amazing support. Shonda better be turning the Japril ship around or I may protest! Not here though. **

**So enjoy and make sure to drop me a line!**

Something Real

Chapter 5

April

April sat at the trauma nurses' station chewing on her bottom lip as she considered Callie's words about her costume. April shuddered to think of herself in a playboy bunny costume, but she _did_ want Matthew to like her costume. The more she thought about Velveteen Rabbit, the more she realized that she didn't want to go as a children's book character.

April clicked through ideas online when something caught her eyes and she blushed and smiled as she considered it. Could…could she pull it off without making herself look like a fool in front of Matthew and his friends?

April decided she would give it a try and began going through things she would need. Her phone buzzed and she pulled it out and examined the text message. Matthew. April smiled as she typed out a response. He was so excited to see her costume. She felt nervous flutters in her stomach as she wondered about Matthew's reaction, but tried to reassure herself that this was Halloween.

April clicked off the computer, deciding to focus on saving lives once more. She had about a half dozen charts to fill out on kids who ate too much candy or had skinned knees and elbows from falling in their elaborate costumes.

She was so focused on her work that she didn't notice Dr. Shepherd walk up. She jumped slightly when she did notice him and he smiled and said, "Halloween making you jumpy?"

"No, neurosurgeons sneaking up on me are," she said, smiling at him.

He chuckled and said, "I know it's your first day back and I wanted to check and see how you were doing? And side effects, any issues?"

April shook her head and said, "It is good not being cooped up in my apartment. Matthew was being sweet, but way too attentive. Every time I sneezed or sniffled he went into a panic. Don't even get me started on when I tried to vacuum the living room."

Derek laughed and said, "He's a good guy."

April nodded and responded, "He really is."

"Well, unless you need me I am going to head up to check on Zola," Derek said. April shook her head and thanked Derek before he walked off. April got back to work when someone else stood in front of the nurses' station. April looked up, and practically dropped her charts when she saw it was Catherine Avery.

"Dr. Kepner, I have been wondering when you would be returning. How are you feeling?" she asked, leaning against the counter.

April shrugged and said, "I have been feeling much better. Today is actually my first day back."

"Well, welcome back. Do you have plans tonight? I was hoping to catch up with you over drinks," Catherine said hopefully. April really didn't understand why Catherine was acting so cheerful towards her, especially since April had revealed the status of her and Jackson's friendship or lack thereof.

"Actually, Matthew is having a Halloween party right after my shift," April said regretfully. In truth, she was relieved her day was so crazy because it gave her an the perfect excuse not to answer Catherine's questions about Jackson.

"Oh...well, how about lunch?" Catherine asked.

"I am actually running out to get my costume together for tonight's party during my lunch hour. I am sorry, it's just a hectic day. I hope you understand," April said, hating to disappoint Catherine.

"No, honey, I understand. Rain check?" she asked as her pager beeped.

April nodded and sighed as Catherine rushed away to answer her page.

April chewed on her bottom lip as she realized she shouldn't push away people like Catherine, especially since she considered Catherine a mentor.

She wondered how Catherine would react if she knew what had gone wrong between Jackson and April. Would Catherine shudder at the idea of April with her son? Would she call her a tart, like she had called Stephanie? April didn't know, but if April was going to ever be able to accept that it was over with Jackson, she had to stop hiding the truth from herself and from others.

The fact that Catherine came to her told April that she had more than likely gone to Jackson for answers and had gotten shot down. April shook her head. The more she thought about it, the more she realized how big of a coward Jackson was. Couldn't even come clean with his Mommy.

April knew her thoughts were ugly, but she couldn't help it. She was in the angry phase and to add to that, Jackson was acting like a total ass.

The phone shrilled, causing her to jump. She answered and took the notes given to her from the paramedic that was rambling about the trauma coming in. Great. It sounded like a bad crash. She might be going to lunch a little later than she had anticipated.

Jackson

Jackson tapped his pen on the conference table as he listened to the administrators give reports on their departments. Jackson didn't understand half of what these suits were droning on and on about.

The door to the conference room opened and Jackson looked up as he internally groaned.

"Ladies and gentleman, I am sorry to interrupt. How about you take a break and then we will re-adjourn?" Catherine said charmingly.

There was a general consensus of agreement and the room was fairly quick to clear, leaving just Jackson and his mother.

"So I was wondering if you wanted to go to lunch with me?" she asked.

"Uh, sure, that couldn't have waited until after the meeting?" Jackson asked as he looked over his schedule to make sure he didn't have anything during lunch.

"Good I was going to see if April could go," Catherine said.

"Oh...umm...well, I forgot that I have-" Jackson stammered out.

"Relax, April isn't coming. She has to get ready for some Halloween thing," Catherine said, leveling Jackson with a knowing look.

Jackson sighed and rolled his eyes, "That was a dirty move, even for you."

Catherine lifted an eyebrow, clearly wondering if Jackson was going to open up. She was going to be disappointed, because Jackson wasn't about to share the mess that was his relationship with April. Right now he was trying his best to learn from his mistakes with April for his current relationship with Steph.

"Lunch is fine, now can I get back to my meeting?" Jackson asked in annoyance.

Catherine clucked and nodded before leaving the conference room. Jackson sighed as he looked down at the papers on the table. Jackson's phone buzzed and he picked it up and read the unintelligible text from Stephanie. She had her eye surgery the day before and insisted on coming into work even though she was blind as a bat.

Jackson stood and called down to trauma to see if she was down there. There was no answer so he assumed there must be a big case. He rubbed his forehead as he texted Stephanie back. She wouldn't be able to read it, but at least she would know he was thinking about her.

His pager suddenly vibrated and he ran towards the trauma unit. A man who was growling and writhing on a gurney passed Jackson on his way to the room he was being directed to. His eyes followed the patient as Yang ran up to the gurney and took him into an exam room.

Jackson shook his head and walked into the room where he had been paged and spotted April and a gaggle of interns fluttering around a panicked patient. There was a large bite mark on his shoulder, his face and other body parts. He looked like he had been mauled by wild animal. As Jackson got closer he recognized the dental pattern belonging to a human.

"What the hell happened to this guy?" Jackson asked as he put gloves on and came towards the patient. April seemed to freeze as she recognized his voice, then shook herself as she once again zoned in on the patient and his injuries.

"Lacerations to the face, neck and extremities from a fellow hiker. Patient appears to be on some sort of stimulant," an intern answered for April. April removed a tooth from one of the wounds and said, "He will need surgery. I will book the OR for you."

"You're not scrubbing in?" Jackson asked as he looked over all the lacerations.

"You don't need me," she said over her shoulder.

Jackson was about to protest, but the exam room door closing behind her stopped him.

April

April finished putting on her lipstick, smacking them together to even out the color. She blushed as she looked herself over.

She wondered if the dress was too revealing. April turned, seeing her exposed back in the reflection of her vanity mirror. Her makeup was dark, her lips bright red. Her hair was perfectly styled. April grabbed the finishing touches for her costume as she slipped her heels on. She grabbed a faux fur stole and the violet pair of elbow length satin gloves.

She slipped them on and looked over her completed outfit. She felt a little exposed, but overall, she thought her costume was good.

She didn't have much time to reconsider because Matthew was now knocking on her door. She ran her hand over her hair and walked towards the door. She opened it nervously and studied Matthew's reaction which was first shock and then a slow smile.

"Jessica Rabbit?" he asked as his eyes roved over her figure.

April nodded sighed in relief. "Too much?" she asked, her voice shaking.

Matthew shook his head and said, "No...no, you look...you look really...good."

April chuckled at his stammering and walked slowly towards him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed him slowly with a small smile on her face as he kissed her back. She squealed happily as she felt his hand move lower down her bare back.

She pulled back and said, "So you like my costume?"

"_Love_ it," he said gruffly, squeezing her ass as she squealed. She kissed along his jaw and said, "Do you still want to go the party?"

He looked her over and shook his head. "But we should since I have the ice."

April fake pouted, but followed him out to his car.

Jackson

Jackson finished the surgery way later than he had anticipated since he was the only skilled pair of hands working on the patient. As he scrubbed out, he wondered what had gotten into April. Usually she never would have walked out on a surgery like that. Had it gotten so bad they couldn't even work together?

Jackson sighed as he heard his phone buzz. Because he was running late, he had one of Steph's friends drive her to her apartment and told her he would meet her there. He sent her regular updates, but she wanted him to get off already and he was more than happy to go and take care of her.

He finished scrubbing out, updated the family and then the patient, who had a hard time believing it was just a drugged up guy who attacked him and not a zombie. Jackson chuckled as he walked out of the room and ran into someone in a hurry. He looked up to apologize, but stopped short when he saw it was April...in a ridiculously sexy costume.

She was wearing a red sequin dress with a slit up the leg and her smooth back was on full display. The dress dipped low down her back and Jackson was tempted to run his hand along the curve there. Jackson's mouth opened and closed in shock.

April scowled at him and walked past him as she walked towards the locker room. Jackson followed her, needing to change out of his scrubs and into his street clothes anyway. He walked to his cubby and watched out of his side vision as April stripped the long gloves off her hands, tossing them and her heels in her locker. She then reached behind her back and tried to wriggle the zipper down but it seemed to be stuck.

Jackson wordlessly walked up behind her and moved her hands away from her dress as he easily unjammed the zipper and slid it down. April turned around, holding the front of her dress up against her chest and blushed as she looked at him. She turned away from him and shed the dress. She was wearing nothing but a silky pair of black panties. Jackson could practically taste the skin of her back on his lips. Her hair bouncing in shiny curls down her back and his fingers twitched as if he could feel her hair tangled in his fingers.

April quickly pulled her scrub top on and then pulled on her scrub pants. She threw things in her locker as she pulled out a pair of socks and slid them on her feet. Jackson was in a trance as he watched her pull her hair into a high bun. She tied her scrub cap on and then jammed her feet into her sneakers when she noticed him watching her.

She gave him a confused look before she grabbed her pager and ran for the OR. Obviously she had been paged in on a trauma. Jackson watched the place he had last seen her and then sat down on the bench in front of his locker as he tried to regain his senses.

The image of April in just a pair of black panties was...torturous. He couldn't believe he had been able to keep his hands to himself. He was tired...of everything. The fighting, the tension, the hurt. He tried to remember that he had a girlfriend who needed him. He stood and peeled his scrub top off. He quickly got dressed and with a final glance towards April's locker, he left the locker room.

**So I am caught up on episodes I think...I am trying to stay faithful to Japril so we shall see what happens.. Please let me know what you all think and leave a review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi everyone, sorry it has been awhile! I have been trying to pull myself out of my funk about Jackson and April. Lately I haven't been feeling writing because I fear Shonda isn't going to bring these two back together. But I did see next week's blurb about the new episode and it has inspired me once more. **

**So read and enjoy! And be sure to review because it makes me happy and encourages me to write!**

Something Real

Chapter 6

April

"Wow, 90%," Arizona said impressed as she looked at April and Matt's compatibility test.

"I know," April said, a small smile touching her lips as she got ready for her shift, "It just shows me and Matthew are really right for each other."

"I wonder what Callie...Callie and I would have gotten if we had taken a test like this," Arizona said, her smile falling off her face.

April shot her a sympathetic look over her shoulder and said, "You know, it isn't always about what the numbers say."

Arizona shot her a grateful smile and said, "You don't believe that, but thanks for saying it."

April turned back to her locker and thought about it. April really had been happy about her and Matt's score. It was proof. Proof that she was doing the right thing. That she and Matthew wanted the same thing. 90% chance of happiness with Matthew. It calmed her nerves about marrying him after such a short time dating.

April thought about Matthew and her thoughts immediately turned to his desperate glances this week. Ever since Halloween, he couldn't keep his hands or his eyes off of her. It was getting really hard to remember that they were waiting until they were married.

This morning, when Matthew had brought up sex, April had been shocked. He was meeting her parents and sisters soon, who were flying out just to meet her new fiancé. He was clearly having a hard time with his commitment. April was too and if he kept pushing her like he had this morning, her willpower would give out.

She shook herself out of her thoughts when Arizona's pager snapped her back to the moment. Arizona looked at it and said, "Ugh, I gotta go."

April nodded and said, "See you later."

Arizona left and April wrapped her stethoscope around her neck. She checked her pager walked towards the trauma unit. She checked the board and grabbed her first few charts.

Her morning seemed to drag. She was relieved when it was slow enough to take a break for lunch. April walked into the lounge and after heating up her lunch, she saw with Arizona and Alex who were discussing a peds case. "Meredith is acting weird," Alex said, "You know what's up with her?" he asked April.

April shook her head, for once happy to be out of the loop.

"I am worried about her doing surgery on this kid. He has been through enough," Alex said as he popped another chip in his mouth.

Arizona tried to reassure Alex as April zoned out. Her thoughts strayed once more to Matthew and his view on where they were... incompatible. The bedroom. There were so many times April wanted him to tell her that. She was so conflicted about what to do that she didn't even notice Alex walk out of the lounge.

"You are out of it," Arizona said with a small smile, "What's up?"

"It's Matthew," April admitted, getting up to get herself a cup of coffee. If she was going to make it through the day, she would need a caffeine kick.

Arizona scrunched her eyebrows in confusion and said, "You were just glowing about your 90% this morning. What happened?"

"Nothing happened...we...go to his house, eat dinner, we talk, we watch TV, we talk, we kiss, we...do _other _stuff, and then we stop. Then I go home. It's _hard_! You know, because it's not like I don't _know _what I am missing. I _know _what I am missing! What do I _do_?" she said as she flopped on the chair as she sipped her coffee.

Arizona chuckled, her back to her and then responded, "Well...okay, hold on, what exactly are you asking me?"

"How do I _resist_?" April asked in frustration, "Remember when you had that flirtation with intern Murphy and you decided not to take it any further?"

"Oh, yeah...Um, I took that further," Arizona said in a flippant voice.

April gaped at the back of Arizona's head in shock. She...ugh! Was everyone having sex except her and Matthew?

"You had sex?" April asked in disbelief.

"Yeah," Arizona said, biting her lip as she smiled.

"Was it…?" April said, remembering exactly how awesome it felt.

"_Awesome_," Arizona answered. April _knew _how awesome it was, biting her lower lip in frustration.

"This is not-you're not-...I have to go away from you now," April said, scowling as she realized Arizona would not be making her feel any better about waiting until marriage.

April walked back to the trauma unit when someone caught her eye. Matthew. He was standing by the ambulance bay door, clearly waiting for her. She smiled and walked up to him after he beckoned for her. He grabbed her hand and pulled her with him so they were standing between two ambulances. April looked at him and said, "I think I know what you want to talk about."

He nodded and said, "I have been thinking about this all day."

She smiled and said, "Me too. And the thing is, I want our wedding night to be _amazing_."

"So do I," he said, holding her hands and squeezing them in his own.

"And I want our first time to be-"

"That's the thing," he interrupted, "It will be a first time...for me."

April swallowed as she felt guilt wash over her, knowing she wouldn't be able to give him her virginity on their wedding night. She looked up into his lust filled eyes and said weakly, "I...I just want it to be _right_," she replied as she recalled him telling her his beliefs about waiting until marriage.

Matthew's eyes held a look of disappointment and rejection and April squeezed his hands and said, "Before we have sex, I want us to commit to one another in the presence of God," she tried to explain to him. She didn't want to come between Matthew and his beliefs.

Suddenly something snapped in Matthew and her back was pressed against the ambulance. She gasped in shock, and her stomach flipped flopped as Matthew's eyes grew dark with need and want. She panted as she felt her body respond to his as he pressed up against her, April held in her low moan as he said in a husky voice, "April, I love you."

_Oh God...take me right now against this ambulance_, her body screamed at Matthew.

His lips came close to hers and April tried to focus on him because he was still talking, "I am going to love you the rest of my life."

April shuddered at the intensity she felt with each word and she was now trembling in his arms, "And I think that God knows that," he said in a gruff voice that sent shivers down her spine, "I think He know how we feel."

April's head was spinning as thoughts raced around her head, but the one thing that was able to come out of her mouth was, "Or She."

She realized what she had said as Matthew chuckled and repeated, "Or She."

April thought back to their meeting with Reverend Drew and their compatibility test. As she thought about it she remembered their weekly assignment. "Well, Reverend Drew _did _say we should _support _one another, so if...if this is really important to you-"

"It is really, _really _important to me," Matthew said, a small sexy smile gracing his lips.

April bit her bottom lip as Matthew pushed into her further and she said, "Okay."

Jackson

Jackson had come down to trauma to oversee Murphy's work when he spotted April and Matthew walk out into the trauma bay. Jackson averted his gaze, reminding himself why he came down here.

He walked over to Murphy who was just finishing up with the patient.

He looked over her shoulder and said, "Good work, Murphy."

Murphy beam at him and continued suturing.

Jackson glanced back toward where he had seen Matthew and April disappear and then walked towards the nurses' station where he had a good view on Murphy.

He had been trying to smooth over his issues with April all week by trying to engage her in casual conversation, or pulling her into surgeries. But each time she shot him down and walked away. She would claim to have other cases to work on or answer his polite inquiries with 'yes' or 'no' answers.

Jackson decided it would be best if he gave her space. He just wondered how much she needed.

April walked in through the doors, blushing with a small smile on her face. It was obvious April and Matthew hadn't been just talking.

Jackson looked back to the chart he was holding, reviewing the other patient that Murphy had worked on. April strolled up to the desk and reached for a chart without saying anything to Jackson.

She turned to walk away, but he stopped her by gently grabbing her elbow and saying, "April."

April turned and her eyes focused on his hand on that held her elbow. He released it and asked, "How long are you going to do this?"

April crossed her arms and asked, "Do what?"

"Not talk to me," he said, frustrated. He hated when she acted like there wasn't a problem.

April leveled him with a glare and said, "Jackson, this is not something that will go away. I am walking away. From this whole thing. I can't-"

"You can't what?" Jackson snapped, losing his patience.

April glared at him angrily before asking, "What do you want? You don't want me, so why are you going out of your way to make it so I can't move on? I don't know what you want, Jackson? What do you want with me?"

Jackson was silent as April said, "You need a friend, so go find Stephanie or someone else because...I am not…we _aren't _friends."

Jackson flinched at her words. She gave him one last serious look and then walked away. Jackson didn't realize that he had been holding his breath until he felt like was going to pass out. He finally inhaled deeply and then snapped out of the moment.

Jackson's eyes followed April as she approached a new patient and introduced herself, smiling a bright smile for the patient.

Jackson turned back towards the nurses' station and tried to collect himself. He didn't know what came over him. He had thought he was good to wait for her to come around, but having her so...angry with him was taking a bigger toll on him than he was willing to admit.

Jackson pinched the bridge of his nose as he sighed in frustration. Was it always going to be this hard with her? Would they ever get past this? He looked over his shoulder at her one more time as she began treating her patient. It was the second time someone told him to let her go, and coming from April herself was way harder than hearing it from Cristina.

His pager suddenly sounded and he glanced at it. His mother was paging him. She was coming in to check on Richard's progress this weekend and she was probably checking to make sure he remembered.

Jackson grabbed his charts and left the trauma unit, forcing himself to not look back at April.

April

April smoothed her hands over her pencil skirt and looked her appearance over. She needed to get to Richard's room soon to take him to Callie's trial.

April turned and folded her scrubs and placed them in her locker. She would be coming back after the judge dismissed later on and work. April made sure she had everything in her purse. She was rifling in her purse for her keys when Jackson walked in. April sighed. He had been particularly hard to avoid lately. It was even harder staying mad at him.

"Hey, uh, you going to Callie's trial?" Jackson asked, sitting in front of his locker and kicking his sneakers off. April nodded and said, "Yeah, I was just going to go pick up Richard."

Jackson nodded and April finally found her keys. She looked over her outfit one more time, smoothing her hair out before she began to walk out.

"April, I...I am sorry. For...well, for how everything has been going between us. I just, I just want you to be happy," Jackson said, shooting her an honest look.

April exhaled and said, "Me too. I want you to be happy too. Right now, the only way I can move on is if...if I stay away from you. I am trying to move on from everything that happened last year. I want to be happy with Matthew. I can't do that and deal with all of this," she said gesturing between them.

Jackson nodded and said, "I understand.

There was a short silence between them as what was happening between them sunk in. What this meant for their friendship. April inhaled sharply as her heart panged in pain and then said, "So...um, I guess I will see you around."

He nodded and said, "You better get to Richard."

April nodded and then turned and walked out of the lounge. She paused just outside of Richard's room, trying to clear her thoughts and her beating heart. She felt like she had finally gotten through to Jackson. She needed him to give her space. Space to move on. It hurt that now neither of them were fighting for their friendship. But...it was how it had to be, she reminded herself.

She had found Matthew. Well he found her, really. And now they were engaged. They were getting married soon. And she wanted kids. Those were the next steps in her life she wanted to take place and Matthew was offering all that to her and his heart.

Anytime her mind wandered to Jackson and her thoughts of 'what-if?" she reminded herself that Jackson didn't want that life. Didn't want her. He had told her not so long ago that he wasn't anywhere near ready to be a husband. Especially hers. But Matthew was ready and he loved her.

April smiled as she thought about their conversation the other night. Matthew had wanted to close the compatibility gap by having sex. April had told him okay, but then as the night went on, she realized how abandoning her faith had messed everything up. She had suffered in every area of her life. She didn't want that for Matthew and she didn't want to be the cause of him straying from his beliefs.

As April thought about her and Matthew's future, she realized she felt a lot better about the conversation she had just had with Jackson. It was just the next step in their relationship. It was ending, but...but it was also the beginning. For her and Matthew and for Jackson and Stephanie.

April inhaled and fixed a brighter smile on her face before she turned the corner into Richard's room and asked, "Ready to experience the Washington judicial system at it's finest?"

Richard smirked and pursed his lips as he said, "I am more than ready to be out of the four walls of this hospital. The fact that it's a show of support for Torres just happens to be an added bonus."

April chuckled as she helped the nurses settle Richard in the wheelchair.

After some friendly bickering about her driving, they arrived at the courthouse. Callie looked nervous and April couldn't imagine what she was going through. As they sat through the witnesses and testimonies, April imagined herself in this situation. It was something always in the back of her mind. Every doctor was at risk.

April occasionally looked to Richard to make sure he was okay. She was worried because he looked tired. He was just out of the woods, but he was still weak and at risk for certain complications. She was relieved when the judged dismissed court for the day.

As April wheeled Richard to her car she mumbled, "I should have taken you back during that brief recess."

Richard waved her off and said, "Kepner, I am fine. Stop your fussing."

"I know, but you look exhausted. Meredith will probably kill me and if she doesn't, then Catherine will," April said as she buckled up.

Richard chuckled and said, "Callie is who we all need to be worrying about, not some old ailing man."

April laughed and soon there was a silence that fell in the car. April believed Richard had probably dozed off when he said, "This whole thing with Callie reminds me of Ellis's first malpractice suit."

April glanced at Richard's face. His facial expression told April he was lost in memories of long ago.

April listened as Richard told her about Ellis performing a surgery on the stomach of a patient that ended up leading to multiple painful surgeries and even more painful recoveries. Richard told April that the hospital then weren't as supportive of Ellis as the Grey Sloan doctors were of Callie. Richard was the only one to show up and support Ellis.

As he fell silent, April's mind wandered to his relationship with Ellis. Both married to people who were 'right' for them, but they felt this pull to each other their entire life.

"Dr. Webber?" April asked.

"Hmmm?" he asked tiredly.

"If this is too personal, feel free to tell me to mind my own business...but I was wondering," she said as she trailed off.

"Yes?" he encouraged.

"Did you ever...regret not choosing Ellis? Over Adele?" April asked, nervously flushing as she realized how personal a question it really was.

"Sorry, nevermind...I should never-" she rambled.

"No. Sometimes I wondered 'what-if' but I knew that Adele was the one. Many thought I had chosen her because it was safe. Less complicated. But Adele was good for me in a way I knew Ellis never could be. And I could never be what Ellis and Meredith needed either. It just wasn't...right. It never felt like it was right for us to be together like that. Neither of us were people who wanted white picket fence with a gaggle of kids trailing us. We were surgeons."

April nodded and thought about everything he was telling her. Her silence must have piqued his curiosity because he said, "Kepner, you can want to be married and have a family while being a successful surgeon. In fact, I think that was Ellis' biggest regret was not finding a way to balance that. But look at Callie and Arizona. Hell, look at Meredith. She has both her career and her family and she is flourishing in both roles."

April nodded. She knew she could balance both roles. She was a born organizer and she had enough sense to prioritize her family over her career. April was more focused on everything she was sacrificing as her and Matthew made decisions that would lead them to being married and raising a family. Hear Richard talk about his marriage with Adele had only reassured her that she was making the right decision.

Some might say she was just making the safe choice, but as Richard said, it didn't mean it wasn't the right choice.

Jackson

Jackson and Stephanie were just back from grabbing dinner and walking back into the hospital when he spotted his mother.

"Mom, you're early," Jackson said, looking at his watch.

"I caught an earlier flight," Catherine said as she pecked his cheek. She glanced at Stephanie and said, "Good evening, Dr. Edwards."

Jackson sighed as he felt Stephanie tremble against him in anxiety. His mother's words were civil, but her tone was anything but.

"Hi Dr. Avery," Stephanie said in a quiet voice. His mother needed to stop scaring her or she was going to break up with him. He fixed her with a look and then leaned down and pecked Stephanie's lips saying, "I am going to go Richard's room with my mother. I will see you later."

She nodded and smiled, scurrying away after she mumbled something about it being nice to see his mother again.

Catherine smirked after her and Jackson said, "Stop it, Mother."

They began walking towards Richard's room talking about Callie's trial and the hospital, specifically about their decision to settle. As they rounded the corner in Richard's room, Catherine gasped and rushed to Richard's bed as she helped April get him in bed.

"Richard, what are you doing out of bed?" she scolded.

"We are just getting back from Callie's trial," April said, tucking the blankets around Richard as Catherine looked at Richard in exasperation.

"All day?" Catherine said in disbelief, putting her hand on her hip.

"I am fine, Catherine," Richard reassured her and he patted her other hand.

She sighed as she lowered his bed to recline and fluffed his pillows. April smiled and began walking out of the room, past Jackson who was looking down at his shoes to avoid looking at her.

"Oh, April honey. I was wondering if we could go grab some dinner. I intended to go with Jackson, but he has already gone with Stephanie," Catherine said, giving a playful pout towards Jackson.

"Mom, it's been a really long day-" Jackson began.

"I know, but the girl needs to eat," Catherine said. Jackson didn't want April to have to deal with his mother when they weren't even friends.

"Dinner sounds good," April said, "I am supposed to cover the pit though."

"Jackson can do that, honey. It will give him an excuse to spend time with Edwards," Catherine said, walking towards April. Jackson clenched his jaw as his mother guided them past Jackson and out to the hall.

"You're mother is complex woman, Jackson," Richard said as he chuckled fondly.

"You're telling me," Jackson grumbled as he left his room and headed towards the locker room.

Jackson quickly changed out of his scrubs and walked towards the ER. He looked around, noting the slow pace. There were no patients waiting to be seen and it looked like all the patients being processed were being taken care of by the residents and interns assigned to trauma. Jackson decided it was as good a time as any to go through some proposals. He called an intern over and told him to get his stack of proposals.

When the intern returned he sighed and went over some of them, knowing most of these would either be denied or tabled for another time when there was more funding.

"So what did your mother say about me?" Stephanie asked, interrupting his concentration.

"About...what?" Jackson asked confused.

"Me? Did she say anything? Because I really thought after our night at Joe's that she was starting to like me, but today she was...I don't know. It was just like she could barely force herself to acknowledge me," Stephanie said nervously.

"Steph, calm down. The more you freak out about this, the more power you give her," Jackson said with a small smile.

Stephanie smiled and said, "It is really important that your mom likes me."

"She will. Give it time. She just need to get to know you and get used to you. Be patient," he said as he angled his face up to hers for a kiss.

Stephanie pecked his lips before he said, "I need to get back to this," as he gestured to the stacked of papers and files, "I probably won't be done here until late. See you in the morning?"

She nodded and kissed him once more before bouncing out of the department to go home. Jackson smiled and shook his head as he focused on his paperwork again. He got through two more proposals before something caught his eyes. A memo from Hunt saying he had been contacted with inquiries regarding Dr. April Kepner for fellowships at other hospitals. Why was this in his pile?

Jackson looked it over and decided to ask Hunt about it later.

April

April sipped her wine and tried to unwind with Catherine grilling her on her wedding plans.

"Honey, if you want a short engagement, you need to hire a wedding planner! And I know the best!" Catherine said as she took a bite of her entree.

"She can do fabulous things, I am going to give her your number," Catherine said, resolved.

April nodded and said, "That would actually be great."

Catherine smiled and said, "Good. Is your mother coming out to help you plan?"

April nodded and said, "I am not sure when she can make it because school is in session, but I am my sisters are coming out soon."

"How exciting. Well, having planned Jackson's sisters' weddings, I know a thing or two. Let me know if you need help," Catherine offered.

April smiled and said, "Thank you, I will."

There was enjoyable silence where they both ate and discussed Richard's progress and his care plan. Catherine was concerned and wanted to move Richard to another hospital, but he was stubborn. April remained quiet on the issue, knowing Richard was improving by being at Grey Sloan. It was his home.

"April," Catherine said seriously, "I feel like I need to ask you what you meant when you said you and Jackson weren't friends."

April bit her lip, not wanting to go there with Catherine.

"Catherine, I...was having a bad day...and I, uh I think I owe you an apology," April said, trying to ignore the question.

"Oh honey, I understand that you weren't well. You had been in the accident. I just want to make sure that you are okay and that Jackson hasn't lost you as a friend," Catherine said sympathetically.

"I was stressed out, especially since things were rocky with Matthew at the time, but I am fine now," April said, hoping that would satisfy her.

"I am glad you are fine and that you and Matthew have resolved your differences, but what about you and Jackson?" Catherine asked.

April sighed as she thought, _Me and Jackson_. Where could she even begin to explain everything that had happened between her and Jackson?

"Catherine, there is..._a lot_ that has happened that make it hard for us to...remain friends," April tried to begin.

"Is it Stephanie Edwards? Is she behind this rift?" Catherine asked.

April shook her head and said, "No, no. Stephanie is a good doctor. She isn't the problem."

"Well then what is, honey? I don't understand?" Catherine said in frustration.

April shook her head and said, "I don't know if I can talk about it."

Catherine set her face and April could see she was actually getting angry.

"April, I care about you and think you are a wonderful woman, but I am not going to stand by and watch anyone, not even you, hurt my son," she said.

April flinched and said, "I...never want to hurt Jackson."

Catherine raised an eyebrow and waited for April to explain.

"Jackson and I," April said, wondering if she was really going to go there.

"What?" Catherine asked.

"I told Jackson that I wanted him...as in more than a friend," April said, settling on the lesser of two evils, "He was with Stephanie and shot me down. I was with Matthew and...Well, I have been avoiding Jackson as much as I can because it's too hard to...be around him."

Catherine gaped at April in shock and said, "How long have you...been having _feelings _for him?"

"I am not sure," April said, taking another sip of her wine, "For awhile."

Catherine was silent and April said, "Jackson and I talked and he has been really understanding. I need time away from him as I move on and get over my feelings for him."

Catherine nodded and said, "I guess that makes sense, honey. I just wish Jackson didn't have to lose you. I don't think you realize how important you are to him. You have been such a good friend to him."

April nodded and said, "I know. It's been really hard for me to accept that I might lose him as a friend."

Catherine leaned across the table and said, "Don't then. Don't give up on him. Jackson has always been-"

"Catherine," April said abruptly. She couldn't handle Catherine giving her hope when there was none where Jackson was concerned, "I told Jackson straight out that I wanted him. That I had feelings for him. He told me I should marry Matthew. After a lot of thought, I realized he is right. Matthew is right for me. Stephanie is right for Jackson."

"I don't know about that last statement," Catherine said, leaning back in her chair as she absorbed everything April had told her.

April shrugged and said, "I meant it when I said I want Jackson to be happy, whoever he ends up with."

Catherine smiled and said, "I am glad you told me. I am sorry it has been...so hard, honey."

April's eyes filled with tears. It had been hard. _Really _hard. Catherine outstretched her hand across the table, offering it to April.

"I will be here for you, honey, whether you are friends with my son or not," she said gently, squeezing April's hand as she took it.

April nodded and smiled as she wiped her tear and said, "Thank you."

**So what does everyone think? I hear there is some wedding planning in the next episode that causes some Stackson drama….the beginning of trouble? Let's hope!**


End file.

Grey's Anatomy, Friendship, Romance