Transformers/Beast Wars 1. Chapter 1

**Transformers and other recognisable characters/brands do not belong to me! (Otherwise I would be very very rich :) )**

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_"Translation does not usually create great works; but it often helps great works to be created." - G. Highet_

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Sam Witwicky was bored. So bored, in fact, that he was growing bored of boredom.

Most would wonder just how exactly a teenager whose best friend was in fact a giant alien robot from outer Space could possibly be bored, but alas, there he was, sitting in the unusually abandoned rec room. Bored.

Mercifully, the Autobots had returned; it was not often that the rest of the base's occupants (neither human nor Cybertronian) appreciated the younger bots' screeching tires, but today it was a welcome end to the monotony that had occurred while the Autobots were out on a training mission.

"Hey Sam! Hope you didn't have too much fun without us," Bumblebee skidded into the room.

Sam suppressed a groan, "Hi Bee. How was it?"

Bumblebee sat-down on the Autobot-sized couch, "Fine, but Ironhide shot at Prowl. Again,"

"On purpose?"

"An accident this time,"

"..."

"..."

At that moment, Optimus Prime walked dignified into the room, "Hello, Sam; I trust you weren't too bored while we were out?"

The red and blue mech smiled when he saw the teen's souring facial expression.

"Optimus? I'll be in my office if you need me-" The trio turned to face a red and pink femme who was poking her head into the room, "Oh, hi Sam, Bee,"

"Hey Delta,"

"I thought we cleared all of the outstanding incident reports last night - what else needs to be done?" Optimus asked his partner curiously.

At this, the femme stepped into the room fully with a suddenly annoyed look, which consisted of her hands being placed on her hips and narrowed optics, "Dearest _darling_ Galloway has requested that _I_ specifically conduct full investigations into _all_ of last month's incidents - apparently, _all_ of our _previous_ reports on the matter have gone missing, and _nobody_ knows how!" she finished her rant rather sarcastically, throwing her servos up in the air to further emphasise her frustration.

Bumblebee whistled and winced, "Wow, he really doesn't like you,"

"Yes, well, _I_ really don't like _him_. I shall see you all later," the female Prime harrumphed and stalked out of the room in the direction of her office, doorwings flared violently.

"You know, I could always arrange for somebot to accidentally step on him..." Bumblebee offered.

However, this was silently shot-down and vetoed by Optimus.


	2. Chapter 2

"What do you mean 'further training'?!"

"We do NOT misbehave,"

"I have much better things to be doing..."

"Look, I know you might not notice it, but you lot in particular have caused more infractions than your colleagues. Therefore, we have organised extra behavioural training for you," Theodore Galloway informed the (less than pleased) younger Autobots.

"Delta, Optimus, do something!" Sideswipe pleaded to his leaders.

"Yeah, we'll do anything!" His twin, Sunstreaker, even dropped to his knees in a last-ditch attempt for freedom.

"Sorry boys, but even your Primes and other senior officers cannot stop this; in fact, if I remember correctly," he turned maliciously towards said senior officers, "They agreed to this further training so that they didn't have to do any more paperwork,"

The younger Autobots blinked, while the higher-ranking Autobots glared mutinously at the human.

"What do you mean?" Bumblebee asked suspiciously.

"He blackmailed us into doing it," Ratchet's glare at the human was still unwavering, "He promised us that if we sign you all up to this, then we wouldn't be subjected to any 'unfortunate accidents' befalling all of our completed reports..."

"Seriously?! You did this to save your own-?! Arrgh!" Sunstreaker's jaw dropped before he stalked off in frustration.

"He also promised that our little agreement would be left out of it..." Prowl growled, narrowing his visor at the human.

Said human tried not to show his obvious intimidation by merely shrugging at the ninja and smirking, "Sorry," he then turned smugly to Delta, "By the way, Ms. Prime, how exactly is your paperwork going?"

Although it seemed impossible, her glare turned even more hateful. It turned murderous.

Her colleagues were fully prepared to leap in and intervene, however, the femme seemed to curb her desire to see the human's internals squished on the floor, and forced her sickliest, sweetest smile, "Absolutely fine, thank you. Now if you gentlemen will excuse me, I will be practicing on the firing range,".

And with that, she thundered off (Sam couldn't describe it in any other way) towards the training yard, all the while spewing various guttural Cybertronian curses and growls.

After Galloway had left and the coast was clear, Sam walked warily up to the seething Autobots.

"Hey guys?" they all turned their helms to him sharply in sync, and he couldn't help but flinch.

"Anything we can do for you, Sam?" Ironhide asked, trying to sound more pleasant.

"Yeah, I was wondering if it was hard to speak Cybertronian,"

The Autobots blinked.

"Guys?" Sam prompted.

To his surprise, they actually laughed. At him.

"Look, I know it's kind of a stupid question-"

"Don't worry, Sam, it's just amusing that Delta's colourful little rant has intrigued you," Prowl smiled.

"Yeah, well..." the teen rubbed the back of his head self-consciously.

"Why don't we give him lessons?" Jazz suggested rather excitedly.

"How is that even gonna be possible? Cybertronian sounds different to human ears than it does to mechanical audios!" Ratchet exclaimed skeptically.

Sam stopped in his tracks, "Wait - it does?"

"You didn't know?"

"Uh, no, pretty sure I didn't,"

The Autobots blinked.

"Uh, yeah,"

A familiar femme then rejoined her colleagues, "I'm back. Sorry about the mess on the firing range, Ironhide, I'll tidy it up later, but-"

"Delta, Sam didn't know that Cybertronian sounds different to organics than it does to us," Optimus looked to his partner.

Delta blinked too, "Really?"

"Really,"

"Aww, come on guys, you're making it sound like it's a big deal. But nobody's ever told me!" Sam was getting aggravated by this point, and clenched his fists slightly.

"Okay okay, keep your hair on, I'll tell you," Delta tried to calm him down, preparing herself to lecture the young human, "Basically, to you, Cybertronian sounds like a bunch of beeps, clicks, whirrs and chirrups, right?"

Sam nodded. The other Autobots either sidled off or braced themselves for one of Delta's lengthy scientific lectures.

"Well, to us mechanical organisms, it sounds more like a language, like...," she paused to think of an example, "Like French, or Latin. With proper words. You keeping up so far?"

Sam wasn't sure whether he should nod or curl-up in a corner and cry in confusion.

"Now, there are numerous scientific explanations and reasons for this phenomenon; Ratchet?"

The medic shook his helm, "No way, I am not going there. It'll take ages, and I'm not prepared to waste my time,"

Delta suppressed the need to roll her optics, "Whatever. But anyway, all you need to know is that it does. Any questions?"

Sam quivered slightly, but smiled and nodded.

The simple fact of the matter was that he didn't.

"And this, Sam, is why it would be difficult to teach you proper Cybertronian; without a Cybertronian's vocal system, you would find it too hard to recreate sounds," Ironhide explained.

Jazz jumped slightly on the spot as an idea struck him suddenly, "Why don't we make it phonetic? Like, spell-out the words as we hear them with the English alphabet, and then he can recreate the sounds!"

The others paused to think about that for a moment.

"Well, I don't see why not..." Optimus mused.

"Uh uh, count me out. I'll be safely out of the way in my med bay..." Ratchet grumbled, ambling away.

"Why don't we help?" the Lambo Twins revealed themselves.

"Good luck..." Ironhide muttered as a statement before heading-off himself.

"I thought I had assigned you two to patrol," Prowl raised an optic ridge behind his visor.

"Oh," Sideswipe and Sunstreaker glanced at each other before answering, "We got the other twins to do it instead,"

"But Mudflap and Skids are under curfew after last week's macaroni incident," Optimus frowned.

"Oh, come on, guys! It's character-building for them!" Sunstreaker tried.

"Hm. As if they weren't already..." Delta muttered.

"Anyway, we'd be happy to help Sammy Boy learn Cybertronian!"

"And Bee'll help, right Bee?" Sideswipe volunteered his wary friend, who nodded vigorously despite himself.

At this, all of the senior Autobots simultaneously raised optic ridges.

"Fine. But Jazz, you supervise," Optimus finally relented, "But know this: it was your idea, and you are the senior Autobot here, therefore if anything happens, it's your responsibility - understood?"

"Yes, sir!" Jazz rubbed his hands together eagerly.

Maybe it was the way he'd all too eagerly accepted this unusual responsibility, or maybe it was the ominous chuckle, but his colleagues were frightened.


	3. Chapter 3

Evidently, news of Sam's new venture was spreading like wildfire, and many of the base's occupants' curiosity was piqued.

"Come on, Sam! I know you can do this!" Jazz patted his knees at the adolescent human as one might see a dog owner do to their pet.

"I know! It's just frustrating when half of Earth's Autobot population is placing bets on whether I can do it or not, with the other half sat here watching me like I am a test subject!" Sam gestured to said Autobots, who promptly started to whistle innocently and return to their everyday business. Sam didn't buy it.

"Aww, come on, Sammy! Ignore them; I'm pretty sure the Primes wouldn't be pleased if they saw everyone slacking-off anywa-" however, Jazz trailed-off as he spied the Autobot leaders in question among the 'innocent' bots.

"Yeeeah..." Sam raised an eyebrow as e had followed Jazz's gaze.

"Okay, whatever. Now carry on practicing - remember to roll the 'r's this time..."

As Sam was practicing the pronunciation, Jazz's comm went off, ::'Sup, Prowler? What can I do for ya?::

::Jazz, have you completed the risk assessment yet?:: the ninja's voice sounded even, but Jazz detected a nuance of irritation - even Prowl had to admit that it was a pointless report.

Jazz rolled his optics under his visor, ::Oh, come on, Prowl! You know as much as I do that it is totally pointless! I mean, how on Earth and Cybertron can learning a language possibly be dangerous? What's he gonna do - bite his tongue?::

Jazz could tell that Prowl was smiling when he answered, ::Just get it done by this evening, please - I don't want to give Galloway another reason for even more pointless reports than this...:: the latter half of this was muttered with some contempt

::I'll see if I feel like it later. See ya, Jazz out:: Jazz smirked.

A sigh, :: Prowl out,::

"Jazz?" he turned around to see an innocent-looking Sunstreaker. Too innocent-looking. Suspiciously innocent-looking.

Jazz narrowed his optics, "How can I help ya, Sunny?"

"Uh," the golden twin winced at the nickname that almost everyone had afflicted him with, "Sides and I were wondering if you wanted any help," he gestured to his twin brother, who waved at them from the other side of the room.

Jazz didn't mention that it was because he didn't trust them, "Uh, no thanks - Sammy and I are alright here, aren't we Sam?"

Sam was too engrossed in furrowing his brows at the piece of paper with the phonetic Cybertronian on it.

"Actually Jazz, Arcee wanted you to check-out some footage for her," Optimus' voice intoned as he walked towards them.

"But Optimus, what about Sam?"

"Let him have a break for a bit; it'll only take you a few Earth hours anyway," Optimus said, eyeing the twins hovering nearby, and tried to steer away from the outcome of them trying to teach Sam - Goodness knows what would happen then.

"Fine. Hear that, Sam? I'll see ya later," and with that, the silver mech sauntered off.

As soon as he had vacated the room, Optimus fixed the twins with a firm look, "You two are NOT to assist Sam yet-"

"But Optimus...!" they whined, "Why? Don't you trust us?"

Optimus retained his neutral expression and straight face, "The simple fact of the matter is that I don't trust you without supervision for this kind of thing,"

"But-!"

"No 'buts'. However, I do trust you enough not to defy me," the Autobot leader started out of the room and turned back to them, "Don't prove me wrong..."

Sideswipe looked at Sunstreaker, "You thinking what I'm thinking?"

"Guys, but Optimus said...-" Sam looked upwards warily.

"Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy, Sammy - since when have we listened to anyone when it comes to the possibility of corrupting the minds of others?" Sunstreaker gave what Sam could only describe as a predatory grin.

"Not often enough..." a deep voice intoned from behind them. The speaker allowed himself a satisfied smirk when the trio jumped several feet into the air.

"Prowl! We thought you were in your office!" Sideswipe whipped around, trying to regain his composure - not an easy thing to do when you have a stoic visor boring into your very soul.

The mysterious silence they received in return further began to psych the three out.

Sam's head shot further upwards and his eyes darted around the ceiling, trying to see any possible beams or anything that the ninja could have come from. Worryingly, he didn't have much luck, "But how-?"

"Ninja." the mech replied, unwavering, "I hope you two weren't seriously thinking that no one would notice you... Corrupting Sam here, as you ever-so-delicately put it,"

"No! Wherever did you get an idea like that?!" Sunstreaker panicked.

"Dude, seriously?" Both his brother and the human asked.

Even Prowl had a look somewhat akin to incredulity on his faceplate. "Just as I thought. I will supervise you two-"

"No!" Sideswipe said that a tad too quickly. Prowl raised an optic ridge.

The ninja then walked over to the Autobot-sized sofa and sat down, "Please, continue whatever you were going to teach him; don't mind me,"

"Uhhh..."

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A little while after the twins had left after growing bored, Jazz strolled back into the rec room and spotted his friend sat on the sofa, teaching something to Sam.

"How's everything going?" he asked, joining them.

"Fine, thank you. I think that Sam here's done enough for one solar cycle," Prowl replied.

"Great, I'll go get the others," Jazz sprinted off, opening a comm call.

Sam and Prowl exchanged glances.

Then the human started to panic, "But what am I gonna do?!"

"Relax, we won't judge you. Just remember the pronunciation - it is very important. Why don't you show me what you've learnt so far?"

Sam attempted his sentence. However, at Prowl's slight frown he paused, "What?"

Prowl cleared his throat, "Although I like to think that my colleagues view me as a friend, I would still like to uphold my reputation on the battlefield..."

"What?"

"You said that 'ninjas are cute'"

"..."

"..."

A few minutes later, several of the Autobots' senior officers had assembled to see Sam's progress; it was wisely decided that the rest of the Autobots would not attend at this point, so as not to overwhelm the boy.

"You can do it, Sam!"

"What have you learnt?"

"Leave the kid alone! He's not gonna perform at his best with you lot pestering him!" Ratchet barked at the others, who immediately shrank-back.

"Go on, Sam-" However, Jazz was interrupted by the unwanted arrival of Galloway.

"What's all this I've been hearing about young Mr. Witwicky here learning your language?"

Several of the assembled Autobots rolled their optics, some more surreptitiously than others.

"Yes, that is true; Sam asked us if he could learn Cybertronian, and we didn't see why that would pose an issue," Delta replied, trying to figure-out what excuse the government agent would formulate this time.

To their surprise, the answer was "Oh, that's fine," he then turned to Sam, "Please, carry on with your demonstration,"

Sam gulped, took a deep breath, and said a small sentence. After he had delivered his line, he eagerly awaited a response. It didn't come. There were only blinks. "Uh, guys? Did I do okay?"

More blinks.

"Did he just say...?" Optimus asked, slightly agape. Delta nodded.

The gathered Autobots then promptly erupted into raucous laughter.

"What? What did he say?" Galloway demanded, not wanting to be left-out. The look of curiosity on the adult human's face only caused the Autobots to crack-up into a fresh fit of laughter.

"He...he said - ahahahahah!" Delta erupted into a fresh burst of giggles.

A rather awkward-looking Prowl continued on from the femme, "He said 'Meanwhile Prowl and Jazz the benches solidified noisily while consuming the old bot'. That was followed by something rather... Inappropriate,"

Galloway gave Sam an odd look, as the Autobots laughed at hearing the phrase in a second language.

Sam facepalmed, "Guys - OW!" The Autobots ceased their laughter, "Sam? What's wrong? Are you alright?" Ironhide asked, concerned.

"He... Appears to have bitten the interior of his mouth," Ratchet observed.

"Well, if I had actually received the risk assessment that I requested..." Galloway tutted.

Prowl cast Jazz an unimpressed sideways look, "You didn't complete the risk assessment?!"

Jazz chuckled sheepishly.

Prowl facepalmed at the prospect of the lengthy reports and paperwork that lay ahead.


End file.

Transformers/Beast Wars, Friendship, Humor