South of Nowhere 1. Chapter 1

I posted this on the Spashley forum under a different sn but I'm reposting here.

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"But what if she doesn't come on time?"

"She'll be here…it's her locker. She has to come by."

"I know _that_, but what if she ditches like she always does?"

"Do you really think that at least one of us wouldn't know if she was ditching? Or be ditching with her?"

Keeping lookout, Spencer eyed the oncoming group of freshman as they passed, no doubt sweating themselves into oblivion from the confusion of where their next classes were. There was no other high school as confusing to get around as King High on your first day. She knew this from experience.

The day had gone as regular as possible. Nothing out of the ordinary…except for when she got the note in English telling her to meet in front of the first row lockers. She knew who it was from so there was no need for a signature but it didn't help stop the eye roll and slight head shake she involuntarily did.

Knowing that her breezy pastel orange shirt was bright enough to attract any eyes that surrounded her, she kept the lookout for the chestnut eyes that she was trying to avoid. The truth was if it weren't for this little mission she was on, she wouldn't mind being spotted by those eyes. She welcomed it, really. Liked it. Loved it even. But that was something no one else was supposed to know.

"Spencer, I can't get the right combo! You think we should just slip it inside anyway?"

And that, that was Aiden. Someone she could call a best friend. He was probably the best guy friend she'd ever had. Their little romantic rendezvous back when they first met left them with this ease and comfort with each other that she didn't feel with anyone. Well…almost anyone. Whenever she had a problem, she wouldn't hesitate to call him and talk it out but some problems…just _some _were better not to be talked out. Some, which if spelled out, came to a name.

Ashley.

"Why are you staring so hard? Is she coming?"

She hadn't even realized she was in a stare. "No. Just slip the note in her locker, she'll see it either way."

"Have you ever seen her locker?"

Very good point. Ashley's locker looked like the school threw up and the remains were left there. It was a mess of pages, binders, books, notebooks, and anything else she didn't want. Almost like it was storage. She could see his frustration on his perfectly arched eyebrows. Dark as night with eyes that almost glowed. She always thought he was a really good looking guy, anyone with eyes could admit that, but his lack for neurons at times really took away the appeal.

She liked to think of him as a model. Always to be seen, never heard.

Looping her fingers around the strap of her bag, Spencer turned her head, changing her stare back to the tall, dark guy in front of her. "Yes, Aiden, I've seen her locker," she replied in a playfully bored tone, "which is why you should slip the note in through the side and just leave a little bit sticking out so she sees it. If she still doesn't see it, then you know she's blind."

He smirked down at her, thanking her without words for helping him. He knew she didn't have to be there helping him leave their mutual friend a love note but he couldn't think of anyone else who could help him out. Anyone he could trust to help him, anyway. He turned back over to the aquagreen locker and wondered why that locker was one of the only ones in the school with an actual lock. It'd be so much easier to leave this for her to find had it not been locked.

Reaching down into his bag to get the infamous note, he pulled it out and folded it once more in order to make sure it was tight enough to stick in the crack of the locker and not slide out. Slipping it inside, leaving a little bit of an edge out, he sighed as he turned back to the blonde beside him who was checking casually for anyone coming.

"I think that's it." He looked quite proud of this and she had to giggle slightly at that. All he did was write a note and stick it in someone's locker and he looked like his chest might puff with pride.

"What'd you write in there anyway?" She asked nodding towards the note.

Beginning to walk away, he wagged his finger at her, "That's for Ashley to know." He was so sure she'd never find out when, of course, it slipped his mind that Ashley practically told Spencer _everything_.

She didn't press any further on it and just kept walking with him towards their next class. Truth be told, part of her really didn't want to know what was in the note. The situation she was stepping into was hard enough as is. Aiden asking Spencer for help on how to get back together with Ashley.

Weird didn't begin to cover it.

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	2. Chapter 2

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Math really wasn't her subject. Either it was the numbers or the boredom that got to her but Spencer really just couldn't keep track of all the formulas and everything. Sometime she really tried to pay attention to the balding, sweaty teacher going on in front of the class. He would never move past his desk and hardly ever took a break from giving notes and lecturing, unless you had a question and even those were rare.

Sometimes she would write notes, which most of the time came out to become doodles in the margins and binders of her notebooks. Doodles of little Smurf looking characters or funny faces with little hearts all around. One of her favorites was Smurfette. For some reason she would always draw Smurfette and Pebbles. She didn't know why really but out of all the characters, those were the most prominent and they would always be together.

Today, she wasn't doodling, writing notes, or even really paying attention. Her eyes were spaced out, staring out of the rain stained classroom window thinking about how her life had changed in just a few years. After moving to LA and finding a friend, and more, in Ashley, life got a little more than complicated. They had had their flirtatious air between them and it was clear to anyone that could visibly see them that they wanted each other. But after that first kiss and the aftermath of it all, Spencer thought it was better just to be friends. She couldn't deny that she was falling for Ashley, hard, but there was something that was stopping her from going all the way to taking their friendship to the next level.

Ashley was definitely upset after that. She didn't speak to Spencer for about two weeks, saying that if she wasn't ready to ride, she should've never got on in the first place. That was just one of the many cute, little phrases she came up with to tell Spencer every time she saw her but as always, she couldn't stay mad at the blonde for too long. She came up to her one day, after sixth period, just sat down and started talking about her mom (along with her newer, younger boyfriend) were _discussing_ what could be done to Ashley's room after she graduates. Her response was to paint crude, sexual obscenities on hoods of their cars. Let's just say the one she used on her mother's car was…not very nice.

After that, they never really spoke about it again. She guessed it was just too much to talk about, for the both of them. Of course they still were flirty and poked fun at each other but it never moved past that.

How much she regretted making that choice. There were times where it would get to be too hard not to just lean over and kiss her again, but Spencer knew that was a can of worms that didn't need to be opened right now. She didn't want to sacrifice what they had right now, which took a while to get. Those two weeks were harder on Spencer than Ashley would ever know. Now, though, they were better than ever which made it harder not to fall for the snarky brunette. Every time they were alone together, the conversation would somehow chime onto the flirty end and the temptation for Spencer not to reach over and just kiss her was…

Well, it had become the hardest thing for her not to do as of late. The chest heaving pang of jealousy that hit her when Aiden first told her that he'd been _falling_ for her all over again didn't help. That little declaration almost had her smack him involuntarily, but she remembered that there was nothing essentially wrong in him liking her. _Essentially_….even if it did make her want to stab him in the chest for a second.

"Ms. Carlin, is there something you'd like to inform the class of?"

Snapping out of her thoughts, Spencer shook her head and turned back to the teacher in front of the blackboard. His fingers were painted white with chalk dust as small smudges of white covered the sides of his corduroy slacks. "Excuse me?"

"Your attention, Ms. Carlin. It is a requirement in my class. Do keep up."

Looking around, she could see a few people watching her expectantly, and others rolling their eyes. Of course there were the couple who were laughing at her expense. Every school had assholes. King wasn't an exception. She did see, however, the pair of chocolate eyes gazing into hers, smiling at her from across the room. The faint creeping blush on her cheeks flushed through her skin as she tried her best to avert her eyes towards the sweating teacher boring into her.

"S-sorry Mr. Hogan."

She didn't look around the room again but instead focused on her notebook and making sure to calm down after getting called out in front of the entire class. Making sure not to peek over at the smirking brunette rows away from her, she began taking notes. There was no need to actually look up not to know those chestnut eyes were staring right at her, waiting for her to look up.

And it took everything in her not to.

Before she could even realize it, the bell rang and she was already walking out of class when a familiar hand wrapped around her elbow, linking their arms together. "Daydreaming, huh?"

Ashley was all smirk and sass. She always had a reply for anything and everything and right now, poking fun at Spencer for her little stint was on the list.

"Wha- No!" That didn't mean to come out as harshly as it did. Recovering quickly, "I was just…thinking."

That ever present smirk that seemed to be painted on her face caught Spencer's crystal blue eyes. "Oh, right. _Thinking_… Not thinking about me, were ya?"

She was doing that thing. That thing that the blonde hated because she loved it so much. She would say something and delicately place her smooth tongue against her teeth. It was so simple but it always made her eyes immediately zone in on the brunette's perfect mouth. Sometimes she was sure that Ashley knew exactly what kind of effect it had on Spencer because she would do it more than once and always drop her voice a bit to just above a whisper. Shivers wouldn't even begin to explain what she was feeling whenever that happened.

"Now why would I do that?" Answering questions with questions were always the best way to avoid telling the truth.

Ashley ducked her head, her smirk very much intact, "Because you secretly wanna jump me when no one's looking."

Spencer's eyes widened in that quick second before she composed herself and just laughed off the other girl's comment. If she replied, it wouldn't be with a question or a witty little reply. The only thing on her tongue was confirming that little truth.

That's how it always was with them.

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	3. Chapter 3

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Why couldn't life be like a TV series? There was angst at first, a relationship full of love, lust, and just overwhelming need for each other and then there goes the tumultuous breakup and makeup. That goes on for about half a season until finally there's a breakup. And of course, as is on every television couple, one of the people in the couple have more fault than the other. They both have fault but the audience, as well as the characters, know that there's one of them who if had made the right decisions, wouldn't have broken them up. As always, for dramatic purpose, there would always be a new love interest brought in and of course, one half of the couple would show extreme jealousy while the other is happy with this new adventure of a person.

We all know how this ends. End of the season, there's the big cliffhanger where everyone's favorite couple have their most intense kiss and the audience would be left wondering if next season, they'd be back together.

Spencer was sitting at home, on her twin sized bed, staring up at her cream colored walls wondering why life wasn't like TV. Why she had to be the only one to blame for creating such chaos in her life, making herself pass through so much pain just because she couldn't face something head on. Why did she have to cause all this?

Her cell phone vibrated loudly on her nightstand next to her as she turned her arm go grab it without moving her body.

"Hello?"

_"Spence!"_

Sitting up immediately, Spencer ran her hand through her hair as her mind raced to think why Ashley was calling her and sounded so…excited?

"Ash? What's wrong?"

The girl sounded somewhat out of breath. _"I got this weird love letter, I guess, in my locker. It's so weird."_

Oh, like she didn't know. "Oh, really? That _is_ weird! What'd it say?"

She could hear Ashley taking a breath before answering, _"It's so weird. It sounds like a first grader wrote it. It goes:_

_Roses are red_

_Violets are blue_

_Your hair is brown_

_I never thought I'd see a girl as pretty as you."_

She almost burst out into full on laughter in that moment, imagining Aiden sitting at his desk in English or something writing this heartwarming little note. The image just kept floating in her head as she sat on her bed, looking down at her bedspread, picking off invisible lint. The smile on her lips stretching across her face.

"Wow…that sounds like a real winner."

Ashley giggled softly in her ear, enough to make her heart pound a bit harder against her lung, stopping her from breathing correctly. _"Yeah. I mean it's cute that someone wants to be all Ghost Writer and leave me little secret notes but if they're like this, I'm not sure if I should laugh or just roll my eyes, ya know?"_

Yeah, she knew. She knew all too well how she would love it if Ashley had called her to tell her she still loved her. That she still wanted to be with her.

Without waiting for a reply, Ashley kept talking, taking Spencer's silence as agreeing, _"Anyway, so what are you doing later? Wanna hang out? "_

"Umm, I don't have any plans but I was thinking of just spending the night at home. You know, just watching some movies, maybe a little TV. I started really liking Friday Night Lights."

_"Because it reminds you of the hicks at home?"_ The smirk could be heard through the phone.

"Yeah, Ohio isn't Texas, Ash. Not even close." They shared a quick laugh that slowly died down. Silence wasn't something Spencer did well with. Especially with Ashley. She didn't like not being able to know what the brunette was thinking. "Why don't you come over? I could make some sugar popcorn, the one you love…" Food was always a way to tempt.

It worked for Eve.

She could hear the inner groan static through her ear. _"Ooh, I wish I could. Mom's got a new boyfriend coming over and she wants us to have a 'family' dinner. But I could always talk to you on here and watch the movie from my TV."_

How did Ashley fight food temptation? With cute, adorable attitude.

"Umm.."

_"Oh c'mon, Spence. It'll be like I'm there with you; just you won't be feeling my undeniably addictive presence trying to cop a feel during the boring parts."_

And she knew how to fight all too well. All…too well.

There was no way she could turn down that option. If she couldn't have Ashley there in person, then she would opt for in spirit. The rest of the night followed in playful flirty banter between the two as they watched the same movie from their respective rooms. Always connected to each other.

Waking up and getting ready the next morning, Spencer could feel her chest tightening with every passing thought of her relationship, or lack there of, with Ashley. She wanted to tell her how she really felt but she knew what the outcome would be. They'd never be able to be until she could face her demons. She knew Ashley wouldn't want to get into something she couldn't be in control of, always having to hide how they feel about each other. But at the same time, she loved being in Ashley's life, any way she could get it. Even if it wasn't the way she wanted. It was still _a way_.

Reaching her locker, a warm, large hand landed on her shoulder like a bird, making her turn around to see Aiden standing there. "So, did she say anything? Did she see it?"

The memory of Aiden sitting in a lonely desk, biting his tongue, his hooked eyebrow raising on his forehead as he thought of more nursery rhymes to send Ashley's way, professing his love for her. A creeping smile spread on her lips as she answered.

"Yeah, she called me and told me. Was a little…" she could see the hoping expectance on his face. She couldn't crush him, "short."

Sighing, "Yeah, I know! But I couldn't think of anything. I mean everything else I thought of was total crap."

Closing her locker, she turned to him fully, "I think you should go for something more…mature. A little more emotional."

He looked like she just spoke in tongue. "Yeah, but I dunno how to do that. I try but it comes out…bad. Just bad."

Shaking her head, "Well you're not gonna get to her if you can't open up a little bit." When she saw how confused he looked as she spoke, she also wondered why she was helping him. Oh, right. Because she had a heart. "Look, if I was writing a love letter, I'd explain why I think they're perfect to me, what I feel when I see them, you know. "

Moving over to his side to get to her morning class, Aiden kept his gaze concentrated in front of him. Taking in what Spencer had told him but when he thought of what to say, there weren't any words that came to mind that he could cleverly write. Just phrases, words, feelings. And he knew if he just wrote that, it wouldn't make any sense and probably make him sound even more retarded than he already did. He turned quickly, walking up to catch up to the petite blonde before coming to the question that would change their relationship completely.

"Can you write it for me?"

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	4. Chapter 4

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The record scratches and you have no idea what just happened. That's how Spencer felt right at this moment.

"_What?_"

The entire world around them stopped and seemed to be looking at her, waiting for her reaction. Her answer. Which was currently still stuck on pause, rewind, repeat.

"Yeah, yeah! You can write the letters for me, I'll tell you what to write. And then I can slip them in Ashley's locker when she's not around. It's genius!"

Ok wait, what? Spencer still didn't quite pick up what was happening. First, she's just getting her books for class and now she was being asked to write secret love letters to the same girl that starred in every dream she had for the good part of a year. From PG to NC-17, they all had one protagonist.

"Aiden…do you even know what you're asking?"

"Of course I do!" No, he really didn't. She kept walking, trying to, partly, get away from him and also get to her class as soon as possible so she wouldn't have to answer. He kept speeding up to her and blocking her way as he walked backwards in front of her. His gelled hair spiking up, out, and everywhere. "It could totally work, dude! I'll tell you everything to say and you just make my words sound pretty on paper. It's a full proof plan!"

There was something about the way he said dude that just didn't sit well with her. Every time, it made her skin crawl slightly down her spine. She tried to dodge him in front of her which resulted in a weird, criss-cross dance thing that they couldn't get out of.

"Aiden, Aiden! Stop. Look, I know you wanna get Ashley and all but I think there are better people to get to help you write your love letters then me. Trust me."

Before she could take another step, Aiden grabbed her small arms gently, holding her in place. "No! Spencer, the only people who could possibly help me think that a romantic date is having a picnic in a gym. C'mon. I need you. You're the only person who knows me enough to know how I feel and the only person I trust to help me." She looked like she was caving slowly, she kept looking everywhere but his eyes and when she did glance at him, and her head would roll to the side as she focused on anything else but him. "_Please_?"

Oh no. he took it to the please. To begging. He knew too well, knowing that if he pushed her even a little bit, gave her the puppy eyes, she would cave. It was inevitable.

Letting out a sound that was a mix between a groan and a sigh, Spencer opened her eyes slowly taking in his features seeing he was being honest. She knew that he trusted her most and it only made the pinching in the pit of her stomach hurt just a bit more.

"Aiden…." letting out a sigh, "Fine. Fine! I'll help you but I know I'll regret it. And just so we're clear, you're gonna owe me huge for this."

The smile on his face couldn't have made this any worse. He looked like a little kid who just heard the ice cream truck coming around. Pulling her in, he wrapped his arms around her, engulfing her entirely as he kissed her hair quickly but strongly. Feeling his gratitude, she knew how much this meant to him. She did all she could think of at the moment.

Slipping her arms up, Spencer hugged him back.

"Hey _lovah_" Ashley slid down in the seat next to her, brushing Spencer's shoulder with her breast as she went down. Her hair tickling the blonde's soft skin of her arm as she slid closer in the already tight seats. Taking a quick moment to compose herself before looking over to those tempting eyes and perfectly glossed lips, Spencer turned with a small smile.

"Hey…"

"What? No comeback for me?"

"No, I think you know all the things I could possibly call you already."

Ashley smiled devilishly, her tongue sliding across her teeth seductively, "Yeah, but it never hurts to hear them. Especially from you."

Spencer shook her head and smiled knowing that it was all just part of their playful flirtation. She tried not to put anymore mind to it than was needed, it'd only end up hurting her at the end of the day when she'd be alone and forced to be absorbed by her thoughts.

There were a couple of minutes of silence between them as the rest of the class settled in. Ashley sat sideways in her chair, never fully giving all her attention to the front of the class which was customary for her. She watched as Spencer doodled mindlessly in her book, forgetting about everyone else around her. After observing for a few more seconds, she chimed in with more conversation.

"So I still have no idea who sent me that weird letter."

Without breaking her concentration on what she was doing, Spencer focused in on the bone in Pebbles' hair. "Oh?"

Ashley let her head tilt gently over to her shoulder as her elbow rested on her desk. "Yeah. No idea who sent it. I gotta say, it's really corny and preschool but its cute someone likes me that much that they're too scared to tell me. Stalkerish, but cute."

The smile on Spencer's face spread slowly across her lips. "You _would_ say that, wouldn't you."

Scoffing in mock hurt, "What's that supposed to mean?"

Finally looking up to meet smiling chestnut eyes, "That you'd think a slug was cute if it laid a trail of a heart with your name in it."

Ashley pressed her small hand against her chest, her mouth hanging open as she looked shockingly wounded. "You know, that hurts Spencer. I thought you'd know better than that. Slugs can't lay heart trails."

Laughing easily, Spencer poked Ashley in the arm playfully as the brunette stuck her tongue out to her. That's how they worked. Flirting, playing, smiling. The only thing missing was what Spencer wanted most to do – kiss her. Times like these when they were so light with each other were some of the worst points to hold back so much that she wanted to do. Soon after their giggled died down, the class begun but not without their shared glances at each other with smirking lips and tempting eyes.

"Okay! Let's do this."

Spencer wondered why everyone always was able to find her and jut unexpectedly pop up. Aiden hadn't been around all day after their little agreement in the morning. Now that she was enjoying her lunch here came Aiden, jumping into the seat next to hers.

"Aiden, you don't think a time when I'm not eating is better? Maybe like, later?"

Watching her blankly, "Sure, but…why wait? Think of it this way, the sooner you do this for me, the sooner it's over."

The boy did have a point. Very rarely did it happen but…it did. Spencer sighed as she slid her tray a bit, turned to her bag to look for a paper and a pen to begin writing.

And this was just the beginning, she could feel it.

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	5. Chapter 5

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"You just don't know fine literature, young Carlin."

"Oh, and you do? Because last I checked Cosmo and Elle weren't exactly topping any best sellers list."

Ashley smirked while focusing on finding a semi interesting book on the polished wooden shelves. "Just because you can't appreciate their literary genius doesn't mean they're any less important."

She tried, she really did but as much as she tried, she had to smile. When Ashley called her to go hang out tonight, Spencer couldn't think of anything to do that would be any fun so of course, the first thing that just stumbled out of her mouth was _We could go to Barnes & Nobles…_. After giving some half assed excuse about going to find an assigned book for one of her classes, and practically begging Ashley to come along, here they stood. Spencer waiting in line holding a copy of Pride & Prejudice while Ashley spun the revolving handler full of all different kinds of bookmarks.

Swaying gently, Spencer turned to check on Ashley and watched her spin through bookmarks with a bored expression plastered over her fine features. "You'd think that with, like, ten tellers, the line would move a little faster."

She stopped spinning and ran her finger down the aisles of multicolored bookmarks, "Well that just goes to show that only slow people work at slow places." And then she smiled, as if she was so happy with her response. Spencer watched out of the corner of her eye, hugging the novel to her chest before smirking snidely.

"You should consider getting an application then."

"Maybe you should consider getting a muzzle."

Letting her blonde locks fall off her shoulder as she rested her head on its side while watching Ashley with a growing smirk, "And have you in agony over missing my voice? That's just too cruel for me to do."

Ashley raised her head slightly and deadpanned her stare on the azure eyes locked on her. "Talking is more cruel." She kept her composure completely still, watching as Spencer's smile faded when she didn't see Ashley was joking. Her brow furrowed on her forehead slightly as her head rose back up and her light playful attitude quickly washed away.

And she couldn't hold it anymore. Breaking her self control, Ashley's lips stretched into a smile as Spencer looked in confusion and then had a moment's realization and slapped the giggling brunette's arm while trying to hide her relief that it was all a joke. She couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief, even though she tried not to let it be heard or else she'd never hear the end of it. This was one of those moments she hated how easily Ashley could switch the atmosphere around them, from tense and awkward to playful and light, from angry and sad to flirty and fun.

"You're so mean to me sometimes!" Spencer tried her hardest not to let the smile creeping in her cheeks show on her face but she knew she was losing.

Ashley kept giggling, putting one hand on her chest while the other caught Spencer's hand in the air as the blonde tried to push her. "And you're so sensitive sometimes! Geez, Spence, you'd think you actually cared what I think…"

Watching from the corner of her eye, Spencer kept trying not to smile, pushing locks that fell on her face behind her ear, "Maybe if you cared how I'd feel, I wouldn't be so sensitive. Jerk!"

There was something about how she would try to throw insults that Ashley loved because they always came out corny and never really had that bitchiness that was needed to have it hurt. She couldn't describe it but she always loved it. "Aww, Spence," still giggling she moved to hug the blonde, "you should know by now I care about how you feel. Even if you are a baby…"

Spencer pulled away from the hug, her arms still wrapped around the book pressed up on her chest, but Ashley wouldn't let her go. The giggling never stopped as she pulled Spencer in closer, wrapping her arms around her, resting her head on the blonde's shoulder.

"C'mon, you know I'm kidding."

Spencer stood there, being held by Ashley, and as much as she wanted to be upset – even jokingly so – she couldn't. All she could concentrate on was feeling the brunette's body pressed against her own. Her smooth, slender arms wrapped around her own, her hair tempting her nostrils not to smell. Without knowing, her eyelids closed slowly as she tried to live in the moment as long as possible. Even for a little bit.

Just lasting a bit longer than it should've, Ashley moved back slightly letting her arms slip slowly as she found herself standing uncomfortably close to Spencer. Their faces inches away from each other, Ashley's finger brushing a strand of hair out of the other's eyes. They watched each other, seconds passing by, looking from each other's eyes to lips, noses, cheeks. Ashley broke their silence first.

"Talking…really is cruel sometimes."

Spencer watched her lips move, the rasp in her voice cracking on every vowel and her eyes moving to gaze into chestnut ones staring right back at her. Right when she was about to reply…

"Next in line!"

"Miss, you're next up."

Looking back from the person behind them in line back to the cashier back to Ashley, Spencer just watched the brunette smile slightly and felt her let go before taking another breath and walking over to the bright cashier waiting to scan.

The car ride back was pretty quiet. Nothing was said that would keep conversation really going. Spencer thumbed through the pages of her newly purchased book, her eyes trained on the running landscape passing her window. She couldn't think of anything to really say and anything that she did think of sounded stupid in her head which in turn would probably sound even worse out loud. There was no one really who made her feel like that, that what they said mattered so much because she wanted to make sure she didn't seem like an idiot in front of her. Anyone else, and really she wouldn't care what they thought but with Ashley, it was so different.

Everything was always so different.

Breaking the silence, "I got another letter yesterday."

She sounded almost too far away to Spencer even if they were sitting right next to each other. That's how she knew it had been too long since they had spoken.

"What'd it say this time?"

Without ever taking her eyes off the road, a small smirk tugged at her lips, "It wasn't a poem like the last one was. Thank God. It was cute but if I would've gotten another poem, I think I would've burned every letter I got. I mean, I was pretty much waiting for something like "_Do you think I'm hot 'cause I think you're cute. You have a nice ass and I like you too._"

Soft giggling laughter filled the car as they began to sit comfortably again with each other. Spencer listening to Ashley speak, wondering even harder than she was meant to about what the brunette thought of the love letter she helped write. One she put so much of her own words into.

"But this one wasn't like that. It was…nice. I dunno how to explain it but it just felt nice to know someone cared so much to notice some of the most…insignificant things about me."

Spencer turned her head slowly, watching Ashley, her chocolate eyes trained on the road as her hair curled as it was tucked behind her ear. She wanted to say so many things but they wouldn't make it past the tip of her tongue. The longer she watched the brunette, the more she felt her heart pound against her chest, her breathing quicken. "I think you don't give yourself enough credit, Ash."

Taking her eyes off the road for a quick second, she turned to see Spencer watching her. "I think you give me too much credit, Spence." She kept turning her gaze from the clear road in front back to the enigmatic cobalt eyes watching her. That familiar smirk tugged at the corner of her lips, "And I think you're just saying that 'cause you love me."

She was grinning, gripping the wheel of the car as she drove. There were no other words Spencer could think to say but just a simple 'Yeah' but she didn't say it. Instead she let the smile that was forming on her lips spread across her face while keeping her stare on Ashley. When she didn't hear anything else, the brunette turned her head again and caught a relaxed, smiling Spencer watching her.

That was when she stopped grinning. That was when her lips widened. And she was smiling back.

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	6. Chapter 6

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_Swoosh_!

"You really think she'll like that? I mean it doesn't really sound like me."

"That's the point, Aiden. That it doesn't sound like you."

"Yeah…but then how will she know it is me when I tell her if it doesn't sound like me in the letter?"

Spencer just looked up with a mixture of astonishment and annoyance written all over her cherubic features. Aiden picked up the ball bouncing towards him and looked towards the blonde on the bleachers when he heard no response. The look she was giving him was enough of a response for him to realize what he just said and hear how stupid it sounded when he replayed it.

"Ok, I see your point."

_Swoosh!_

He kept practicing his jump shot for the big game coming up next week while occasionally shouting out things that he thought sounded romantic. She, on the other hand, tuned him out as best she could and tried to concentrate on what she felt. No, correction…on what _he_ felt.

After their ride back home, Spencer was more determined than ever to carry on with this plan between her and Aiden. Truth was, for the moment, she was deciding to forget the entire situation and all she cared about was making the girl feel as important and needed as she deserved to feel. Make her see, even if in false and even if for just a few seconds, what Spencer saw and felt every time her eyes were dignified the pleasure to watch the lively brunette.

"You're eyes are so beautiful…they make me…" He set himself up and threw the ball, his arm holding still in the air, "…swoon."

She just shook her head, smirking slightly at his pathetic attempt at romanticism. Really, she almost felt bad at how bad he was at this. She didn't see him watch her as he waited for the ball to come back.

"Yeah, I know. That sucks." He grabbed the orange ribbed ball as it bounced by his feet and started walking towards Spencer. When he reached to the edge of the bleachers, he stopped, watching her as she wrote mindlessly on the paper sitting on her lap. He envied her in that moment. How she was able to so easily write what she thought while he couldn't even bring himself to say what he felt. He couldn't tell why it was so hard to just tell Ashley what he felt for her but it was something that caused his stomach to knot and his throat to tighten every time he could get the chance to. Yet here sat Spencer, writing his feelings as eloquently as ever and he couldn't even bring himself to simply say it.

"I'm not real good with words." She raised her head, fixing him with a curious look in her eyes. "Look, I know that this is stupid, that I should just tell her. That I shouldn't have to act like a little kid and leave her notes and stuff for her to get, or get you to write them for me either. But…it's just hard for me, ya know? " He propped his foot up on the first bleacher seat as Spencer watched him speak with more honesty than she had ever seen in him. "Like when I see her walking around, I have this crazy urge to go run up and hug her or kiss her or just be close to her. Just to be close. Just so I can feel her around me, smell her perfume, listen to her talk about whatever comes to her…just so I can find something new about her. I mean…I know it's what I should be telling her but I just can't. I dunno why."

Spencer knew why. She knew exactly why it was so hard. Because she felt the same way. She knew what it felt like to want to just spark some meaningless conversation just to hear her voice. Just to know what she'd say so you can feel like you're being let into the mind of Ashley Davies because that means you're special. Because that means that she let you in, even if slightly. That means she cares about you.

And she knew how hard it was to look into those piercing eyes and say all those things and have this gnawing pain in your stomach because you're deathly afraid that she won't feel the same way.

Suddenly, it was a different feeling in the gym at that moment. She couldn't feel the mocking resentment towards him anymore, all she felt was sympathy. Because she could see now that he wasn't any different from her. She was just like him…maybe even worse because at least he was working to show Ashley how he felt. She kept hiding behind different veils.

A smile tugged softly at the corner of her lips. "It's ok, Aiden. I get it."

There was a small shy smile playing on his lips and she could swear she heard a sigh escape his mouth as he turned back around and went back to shooting as she went back to writing.

Spencer lay on her side, watching the TV in her room. Her hands were folded under her head, golden locks sprayed all over the bed as her legs bent up towards her chest slightly, ankles crossed. When a small knock broke through the door, she didn't get up to check who it was. Her gaze stayed on the screen across from her. The bed dipped slightly behind her and still she didn't move. A slender, tanned arm lay across her side, tickling her stomach with its fingertips, a body pressed tightly against her back. So tight, she felt like they could be molded together.

"I didn't know you liked Heathers."

That raspy crackle of a voice could never be mistaken. Without turning around, Spencer answered, absentmindedly snuggling closer to Ashley's body behind hers. "You never asked if I did."

A soft chuckle breathed past her ear. "You never gave a reason to have to ask."

Never moving back, Spencer slowly let her face relax and the smirk pulling at her lips rest easily on her face. "Not my fault you're not perceptive enough to have thought of asking."

She could feel the brunettes smile on her neck as they lay comfortably together. "Well _fuck me gently with a chainsaw…_"

Spencer couldn't stop the giggling from escaping her lips as Ashley's fingers traced small patterns on her stomach. When she felt Ashley's soft lips press against the nape of her neck that was when the giggling died down slowly. Her hand pressed harder against the blonde's stomach, pushing her closer. Caught at a loss for words, Spencer couldn't think of anything to do…literally. Her mind went blank in a second and all she wanted was to feel Ashley's lips on her skin again.

Another open mouthed kiss was pressed against her neck, a small moan escaping her throat. She could feel the lips massaging her neck stretch into a smile before turning around, laying on her back, locking eyes with Ashley.

She could see her normally russet colored eyes darken instantly as they moved from her own to her lips. Without another thought, Ashley leaned down and pressed her lips against the blonde's firmly before moving back slowly. Spencer didn't even open her eyes. She didn't need to. She knew exactly what she wanted to do. Following Ashley's lips, Spencer slid her hand up the brunette's neck as she kissed her back, pressing her tongue against the bottom lip trapped between her own. She traced her lip before Ashley deepened their kiss, sucking down on the blonde's hot tongue.

Taking control, Spencer turned them over, resting her body against Ashley's as her knees rested on either side of the girl's hips. They kept on that way for what seemed like hours before Spencer broke their kiss, sitting up realizing she was straddling the girl under her. She stayed like that for a few moments, watching Ashley under her before seeing her smirk and knowing it was ok to keep going. There was no doubt in her mind that she wanted to keep going. Sliding down slowly, Spencer slipped her hands underneath her girl's tight shirt, raising it slowly as she laid light kisses across her skin. Feeling her muscles tighten under her lips. Reaching her bellybutton, Spencer moved to undo the belt buckle, then her jeans. As she slid her jeans off, Ashley raised her hips to help; Spencer knelt there in between the brunette's legs. They didn't speak, and hadn't uttered actual words for what felt like ages. Only moans and heavy breaths against each other's heated skin.

Ashley could feel Spencer's hands on her sides, rubbing in small circles as she rose up on her elbows to watch her. Her voice came out even more hoarse than usual.

"Eat it."

"What?"

"Are you gonna eat that?"

Spencer blinked furiously, realizing she had been daydreaming and was sitting across from the girl of her daydreams out on the quad as they ate their lunch. She looked around suddenly, wondering just how long she had been out of it and where exactly she was. It felt so real!

The quick giggling rasp in her ear brought her thoughts right back to the present. "Well, are you gonna eat it or not, Spence? I'm starving and wouldn't mind taking it off your hands if you're not gonna digest."

Looking down at the food sitting in her tray, Spencer pushed it away from her as if it burned, looking back up to the probing chestnut eyes staring at her.

"Yeah, have it." She couldn't sit there anymore. "I…I, uh, gotta go. I'll call you later."

And then she left. And Ashley was left there sitting alone wondering what the hell just happened.

--


	7. Chapter 7

--

"A-Aiden! Stop fucking cheating!"

Aiden cackled loudly to himself as he answered, "It's not cheating, Ashley! Stop being such a sore loser."

Ashley's eyebrows arched perfectly on her forehead as she growled from across the benched table. "When you hit me with that stupid blue shell when I'm about to win, yeah, that's cheating. Ass."

She slammed her delicate fist down on the table as her virtual character flipped in the air only a few inches away from crossing the finish line, letting Aiden's ecstatic Mario run in to win the game.

"Aww, Ash, just became I beat you _every single time_ doesn't mean I'm cheating."

Her face scrunched in annoyance as she watched his smug eyebrow arch. "Thank you so much for that clarification. I think my brain just leaked."

He didn't respond but instead chuckled lightly while shaking his head. Spencer sat with her legs up on the bench, crossed Indian style, as she watched them play against each other with their Nintendo DS. Currently, as she counted, in the ten games they played…Aiden won all ten with Ashley protesting about cheating and the wind in her eyes and her thumbs being sore from playing so much.

"You shouldn't have picked up the game if you didn't know you were going up against," he acted like he was fixing his hair, "the _master_."

He opened his arms wide before patting his chest proudly. He really was so smug about winning but it was even funnier to watch Ashley's cheeks flush furiously as her nose flared and any moment, she looked like she'd just jump across the table and rip Aiden's brain out of his nose.

It was a definite. Ashley Davies was the worst loser in history of losing. And the more Spencer watched her get upset, the harder she found it not to silently laugh and aww at how cute the brunette looked. There was something about watching Ashley get upset that she also found oddly arousing. As if just watching her eyes squint slightly as her nose flared slightly caused her pulse to quicken and literally pound in her veins.

"Wanna lose some more or you ready to give in?"

Letting out a short snort of laughter as she shook her head, Spencer got up from her seat and fixed her shirt, "Aiden, you're way too confident for someone I annihilated last week in the, what," She pressed her finger to her temple delicately while looking up as if trying to remember, "five million games we played?"

His eyes squinted slightly in the sun as he looked up at her while the corners of Ashley's lips rose as she watched Spencer pop Aiden's ego like a balloon.

"That's just...such a low blow, Spence." Spencer rolled her eyes at him, smiling widely as she petted his shoulder.

"I'm sure you'll get over it."

She began to walk away, heading towards the vending machines on the other side of the quad. "So, it's official."

She turned to look over her shoulder seeing the glittering chocolate eyes of a certain brunette smirking at her through dark lashes. "What's so official?"

"You, owning someone. Incredibly hot." Spencer giggled silently to herself, hiding her flushing cheeks as she reached in her pocket to get some change.

"Is that…is that a blush I see with my pretty little eye?" Ashley's smirk only widened on her round cheeks as she leaned against the plexiglas of the vending machine.

Instinctively her head shook, trying to stop herself from blushing but finding it impossible as Ashley crossed her arms and laid her head against the glass as her eyes roamed over Spencer's face and body.

"You know staring isn't very nice, Ashley."

"I never claimed to be nice." She winked. The smile on the blonde's face only broadened across her cheeks as she pressed the digits to the candy I wanted.

"Twizzler, huh. Pretty kinky there, Spence."

"W- what's so kinky about Twizzlers?"

Grabbing the candy out of her hands, Ashley opened the bag and grabbed one. She squeezed the candy between her teeth as she held it lightly with her hand and watched Spencer with an ever present smirk playing on her lips.

"The correct question is what _isn't_ kinky about Twizzlers." She bit down on the candy as she spoke. "Think about it, licorice can be used for so many things. Bondage, whipping, teasing, tickling…I mean the list goes on and on."

The laugh that tumbled from Spencer's lips came with a whole giggle of friend's right after. "Has anyone ever told you how psychotic you sound sometimes?"

Pointing towards the blonde with the bitten candy, "What you call psychotic, another could call genius."

"And another could call it hallucinating."

"And you could just admit you have a kinky fetish."

"Ash, liking Twizzlers hardly equals as having a kinky fetish."

She took another bite before running the chewed candy down the blonde's arm. "Well we could always test it out and see what happens." When Spencer looked at her, she saw Ashley's teasing eyes wink as her smile took over her lips. There was always something that the brunette did that left her without a retort, whether it was spoken or just physical. This time it was both.

"_Anyway_, I think I'm gonna go start studying for that Math test I have next period. My mom will murder me if I don't get at least a B."

Spencer could almost swear she saw Ashley's face fall for a quick second but didn't pay attention to it.

"If she didn't hate me so much, I'd use my charming superpowers to get her to lay off you for a little while."

Smiling at the brunette, she replied, "Your charming superpowers, huh?"

Ashley didn't reply with anything but a smirking nod.

Spencer bit down on a Twizzler as she spoke. "I _suppose_ I could agree with that."

She didn't have to look at the brunette to know how wide her smirk had grown. "Why, Spencer Carlin, was that a compliment you just bestowed upon my ears? I'm not sure I heard it right, please repeat."

Shaking her head as she turned to walk in front of Ashley while waving her cherry flavored licorice at her, "I said I could agree that you're charming. Obnoxiously charming even."

Ashley's mischievous eyebrow rose slightly, "Charming is charming."

Both girls seemed to always be smiling when around each other, and if not completely smiling then something close to it. Once they reached the table, Aiden looked taking in the playful atmosphere around the girls.

"Now, are you ready for another round?"

Spencer grabbed her bag on the floor as Ashley sat down, their eyes never leaving each other. "I'll see you guys later. Be sure to kick his butt, Ash." They both smiled at each other as she moved from the table. Aiden looked back silently, with earnest eyes. She wasn't sure if he was just nervous being around Ashley alone or if his eyes were thanking her for letting him get some time alone with her. It was then she began to feel that familiar pang in her chest. That pit of the stomach feeling that is an all too common and not at all welcomed jealousy. That feeling she hated having but came all too easily when in reference to Ashley.

But there was nothing she could do. If she stayed, she'd have to suffer through Aiden's googly eyes and she left, she would be left wondering, always wondering, what they were talking about. If they were laughing together. If she told him things Spencer thought she only told her. If the playful eyes and impish smirks weren't just for her like she'd have believed.

She was stuck.

--


	8. Chapter 8

_For the reviewer "_LaurenLove" _who apparently is accusing me of plagerism, LOL, yeah, I'm plagerising my **own** story because that story you linked - which BTW, the link didn't work - was to Smurfette being posted on another forum. Yeah, I said in my first chap that this story has been posted on other forums...it's new to but not new at all since I wrote this back in Jan 08. Kudos for trying to warn everyone about the plagerism though. But I'd rather you double check your sources and **read** a bit before going and pointing a finger of blame. _

_To every other reviewer, thank you so much. I appreciate the reviews. I'm really glad you guys are enjoying it!_

--

Keep your hands steady.

Keep your eyes focused.

Always check the mirror.

Relax.

Breathe, and enjoy the ride.

"Spencer, watch out for that squirrel!"

She slammed her foot down on the brake pedal, sending Ashley headfirst to the dashboard.

"Oh, my God, I am so sorry Ashley!" Ashley sat back in her seat, her head falling back against the plush car seat. Her hand was rubbing the already reddening bruise forming on her forehead.

She squinted one eye over at Spencer, who looked like she could cry already. "It's ok. I'm not gonna die or anything. I might have a tumor now, though."

Spencer rolled her eyes lightly before leaning in a bit to check that the brunette was actually ok. "You can't just get a tumor that way, Ashley."

"Who knows, I could be the first!" She hissed lowly as she tried to soothe the pain coming from her bruised forehead as Spencer unbuckled her seatbelt to get closer to check her. Even through the stinging pain of her bump, she couldn't stop her lips from smirking at seeing how concerned the blonde was with her and how adorable she looked as she leaned that much closer, seeming hesitant to touch the red welt on her head.

"God, I am so sorry, Ash. I think we've had enough driving lessons for today."

"Spence, I'm not dead. Almost, but not yet." She smirked as she opened both eyes. "Seriously, get to driving. We're gonna finish this lesson….even if it kills me."

Her eyes hardened for a second as her head tilted to check the brunette. "That's so not even funny."

"Only because it's about you. Stop stalling and get driving."

Spencer took her growing smirk as a sign that she was really ok and pushed the gear into drive. Fifteen minutes had passed and they hardly even reached the next traffic light.

"Spencer. I can hear my hair growing faster than this car is moving. You _can_ go a little faster, you know."

Spencer kept her eyes glued to the road in front of her, her hands gripping the wheel tight enough to have her knuckles whiten. Her eyebrows furrowed together on her forehead, making her look like she was deep in concentration.

"I don't wanna miss anything that might jump out in front of us."

"What? Like the wind?"

"I'm just being cautious!"

"You're being a baby. Just push the pedal lightly and steer. It's really not that hard."

Spencer's eyes never left the road while her voice rose in annoyance. "I know that but what if something jumps out again, or I go too fast, or….the car flips over!? Excuse me for being just a little careful."

Ashley rolled her eyes as she rested her throbbing head on her hand, elbow resting on the window on her side. "Unless there's some huge wave headed towards Los Angeles or a sea monster just happens to wake up and destroy us, I don't think you have to worry about the car flipping over, Spence." The blonde still seemed too uneasy to drive and it was worrying her. How would she learn to drive if she couldn't just relax. She was staring at the road so hard it looked like it might set on fire or something.

Taking the initiative, Ashley shook her head lightly before leaning over and pressing her hands over the blonde's small ones clutching the steering wheel. She wasn't sure if the small hiss she heard had come from the car or Spencer but it still made her smile quietly to herself before getting back to the task at hand.

"Ok, I'll help you. Just press on the pedal _slowly_ and I'll help you steer."

It wasn't that Ashley's hands on her upset her in any way. It was the exact opposite. Yet because of that, it was even harder to relax and stay concentrated on driving when the brunette was so close to her, skin touching.

"I doubt this'll help me much."

"Stop being so negative and push."

Sighing softly, Spencer did as she was told and tried her best to keep the acceleration to a minimum. As they drove, she could feel Ashley's hands grip tightly against her own as her eyes drifted back and forth from the road and the soft chestnut curls dangling in front of the girl not two inches away from her. Her hair smelled of lavender which mixed gently with her perfume which wafted as a shadow every which was she moved. She hadn't noticed the steady pace that the car had been moving under as her eyes began to flutter close as she sat completely mesmerized by the brunette.

"Ok…." Her voice came out low and rasping, as if scratching her throat.

Spencer's eyes followed every movement she made languidly. "Spence, I'm gonna let go now."

Eyes opened immediately as she felt the loss of contact in their hands, the breeze touching the back of her hand coolly. "U-uhm, I'm still not sure I'm that good to be driving today. You sure you don't wanna take the wheel?"

She could hear Ashley's lips part into a smile. "Liked me on top of you that much, huh?"

"That's not what I meant! I mean, I meant that I would move over so you could drive us back home. I just don't feel like-"

"No. I promised I'd teach you how to drive and you're gonna learn. Just don't think about it so much."

"Easier for you to do." It came out as a low whisper but Ashley still heard it. She didn't dwell on it, however and just opted to change the subject.

"I told Aiden about those letters I've been getting."

There was something that felt like a burning piece of coal stuck in her stomach as soon as she heard that. "Oh? And what'd he say about them…"

Spencer didn't dare look over in fear of her resolve slipping. "He said that they sound like they really like me and to _cherish_ them." She heard the brunette cough out a quick laugh, "So gay."

She couldn't help the small smile that tugged at her lips. "He said that? Doesn't sound like something Aiden would say."

Another surprised coughing laugh escaped her lips, "I know! It was so weird but I guess he did have a point. It's not exactly every day a girl gets stalked and watched from afar by some weirdo."

"Ashley…you know that's not true."

"It's not, huh?"

"No!" She hadn't realized how her high her voice rose or how she was suddenly driving without any problem whatsoever. "I would think this person, whoever they are, is just too scared to come up to you and say what they feel and then have you reject them or just ignore their feelings. It's not like they're hiding in the shadows and waiting to see where you go. They're just too scared to admit the truth to you…"

There was a moment of silence between them that felt so uncomfortable for Spencer. Mostly because she couldn't remember why exactly she had gone off or why she felt her blood pumping in her ears. She could feel Ashley's eyes on her, burning right through her. There was no doubt in her mind that had she turned and seen those coffee colored eyes watching her, she wouldn't be able to control her words. Or her lips. Luckily, Ashley broke the quiet settling between them.

"Wow, Spence, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were my secret admirer.."

And that was when the car swerved and screeched to a halt, sending Ashley headfirst, again, to the dashboard.

"Fuck!"

Spencer didn't wait this time. She unbuckled her belt quickly and moved over to check the brunette as she held onto her head.

"Oh, my God, Ashley! I'm so so sorry! I dunno what happened…I just – "

"I know what happened - you pressed the brake!" Ashley pushed her head back against the seat, holding onto her throbbing forehead, her eyes clenched. She could feel Spencer hovering over her, trying to get a look at her, trying to help in any way. When she finally opened one eye, with as much strength as she could get, she saw the blonde's horrified expression and could feel her anger drown quickly. "I'm fine, I'm fine. I'm sorry I snapped at you."

"Oh, gosh, Ashley. I'm so sorry about this…"

"Stop apologizing. It's all good. I'll just have to sleep on a block of ice when I get home." She tried to laugh but it came out in a hiss as her eyebrows rose and the shooting pain ran through her face. Something that sounded like a whimper came from Spencer, she was so sure of it.

"Spencer, I'm ok. Trust me. Don't feel bad."

She was practically sitting on the brunette as she cupped her cheeks, trying to get a good look at the forming bruise. "How can I not feel bad, I ran your head into a dashboard. Twice!"

"It could've happened to anyone. C'mon, I went through the dashboard. Now _that_ would be a problem."

They both let themselves smile, finally. When they calmed down a bit, the position to which they were in, Spencer almost straddling Ashley as she, sitting in her passenger seat, rested her hands comfortably on the blonde's thighs. They watched each other, Spencer's hands sliding slowly down from the brunette's cheeks to her neck, resting on her shoulders. It was a comfortable place to be for her, that familiar need she had to jut lean forward slightly and capture Ashley's lips was beginning to wear on her.

"So…should we continue the lesson?"

Almost too quickly, Ashley answered, "No!" Seeing Spencer's face fall slightly, "I mean I think we can always come back to it tomorrow. When I can have the right equipment."

Her lips turned into that well-known smirk that almost always bestowed her precious features while Spencer just rolled her eyes with a knowing smile on her face.

--


	9. Chapter 9

--

"Ok, question. Ready?"

"Shoot." Spencer popped a few M&M's in her mouth as she lay back against the grass, her elbows supporting her weight on the uneven plain.

Ashley sat up from her laying position on the grass to lean on her elbow as she fixed the blonde with an inquisitive stare. Her Nerds rope dangling from her fingertips.

"Why is the alphabet the way it is?"

Spencer stopped chewing to take in the question seriously. That seriousness lasted about three seconds before she started smiling again.

Ashley was having none of it. She has a serious question she wanted answered. "No, no, seriously. Like, who put it in that order? Who said that A has to come before B and Z is the last letter? Why do we have twenty something letters and only five vowels?"

Her gaze never faltered, nor did her small smile as she watched those perfect chestnut eyes squint in the sun and her expression just fall slightly between confusion and daring. Like she was going against the world by asking such questions. It was so cute.

"I dunno, Ash. I guess the same guys who got to name colors and tell what color goes with what name."

"That's gotta be such a cool job. Naming a color. I'd name a color after myself. Best color ever made."

"I didn't know _airhead_ could be a color?"

Ashley's jaw dropped in mock hurt as she hit Spencer lightly with her candy rope with a smile. The truth was she always loved that she could be spontaneously random with Spencer and never have to worry about her judging. Or telling her to shut up. Or just not getting it. Everywhere she took the conversation, the blonde was always right there with her.

"Ow! It's not my fault you're just that predictable." Spencer couldn't stop giggling as she tried to stop Ashley from really hitting her. Of course it wouldn't be real hits or anything but still, it was always fun to play around.

Biting down on her sweet candy rope, Ashley let it dangle from her mouth as she used both hands to try and playfully hit every exposed piece of the blonde's body she could get her hands on. No one ever notices how play fights always escalate and soon enough it stops being trying to flick one another or something and turns into a full out wrestling match.

So here they were now, five minutes later, and Ashley is toppling over Spencer. Legs pinching the blonde's hips, hands looking to grab onto her wrists, her body working as a shield and a weapon at the same time. When she pinned Spencer's wrists to the ground and calmed down because she had nowhere to go, that was when Ashley realized exactly what position they were in. Her candy dangling from her own mouth, swinging gently over of Spencer's mouth.

Spencer had forgotten completely how exactly they had gotten where they were now, with the brunette straddling her and arms pinned to the ground. But she wasn't minding it at all.

"You give?"

The Nerds rope hanging brushed her lips gently as Ashley moved her lips. There were about three seconds of scenario's that ran through Spencer's mind. Of her biting down on the candy and having a Lady and the Tramp moment or of completely losing abandon and letting her body take over. If she did either, she wasn't sure who she'd be – the lady or the tramp.

Just as she opened her mouth to answer, someone interrupted their exchange.

"Looks like I came at just the right time."

They both looked up to find Aiden smirking down at them, his favorite purple backpack latched onto his shoulder. Ashley's grip loosened before she sat back on the blonde's legs and rolled off her hips to sit beside her. Spencer, cursing Aiden with every fiber in her being, tried her best not to let out the depressed whimper from escaping her lips as she felt the breeze across her warmed thighs.

"Gee, Aiden, perfect timing you got there. Don't you have class? Like, now?"

Spencer wasn't even trying to hide her annoyance at always being interrupted in some way when she had some alone time with Ashley.

"Yeah, but I skipped. Hamilton won't even know I'm missing, anyway. So what are you two lovely ladies doing here…in the grass? Without me?"

The eye roll couldn't be contained. Luckily, Ashley took it upon herself to answer. "Just trying to figure out how much money we could con out of you for some girl on girl action."

He tossed his bag on the ground before kneeling down. His fishhook eyebrow intact as he smirked. "And exactly how much are you gonna charge?"

Spencer watched the weird little exchange between both of them. How her eyebrow seemed to raise to match his and her smirk came rushing back on her face while her eyes sized him up. "Exactly how much are you willing to pay?"

Oh god. _Are they flirting?_ Where exactly did this flirty nature come from between them? It wasn't sitting well with her. All she was thinking about was how much time exactly had they been spending together. Ashley _had_ mentioned talking to him about her secret letters and them spending more time together. Was she missing the connection and not noticing they were getting closer? It would've been stupid to assume that she was the only one getting all of the brunette's attention.

Especially when her best friend was vying for her affection as well.

"Sooo…" She had to say something to get the conversation back to somewhere she felt comfortable with because this flirty nature was not sitting well. "any good movies out?"

This seemed to get Ashley's attention. "Oh! Yeah, there was this movie I saw some commercial for between the fifty million episodes of America's Next Top Model on MTV."

"Which one was it?"

"I think it was the season with Jade? Ugh she was such a bitch."

"No…I mean which commercial."

"Oh, I think it was for that movie with that guy…"

"That really narrows it down. You sure it was a guy? With hair? Did he have eyes?"

Aiden let out a chuckle which made seemed to be approved by Spencer who smirked at the brunette. He was back on her good side…for the moment.

"That's _so_ funny! Chuckle, chuckle" Ashley sometimes was too cute and funny when she wasn't trying to be that it made it hard not to laugh and coo when she got annoyed. "_Anyway_, it was that guy from those Star Trek movies?"

Aiden's eyes squinted in confusion as Spencer looked on, completely lost as to who Ashley was referring to. Instead of answering, she busied herself with pulling at the grass under her fingertips. His deep voice broke the small silence. "You mean _Star Wars_?"

"Is that the one with the hot blonde guy with the weird ponytail thing?"

All he did was nod dumbly as Spencer smiled to herself. "Yeah! That's it then. It's with Rachel whatever from the OC."

"Bilson."

"Yeah, her. Who, by the way, was awesome on that show."

"You only liked her because she was hot." Chiming in at the opportune moment, Spencer's smile grew as she watched the grass in front of her get ripped by her fingers.

"And she was a bitch. Bitches are always hot."

"You would know, huh."

Ashley's jaw dropped again in mock hurt as she swatted the blonde beside her gently on the arm, her lips tugging into a smile. Aiden watched as the two exchanged playful smacks and banter, waiting for when to come in.

"Hey, Ash, if you want, I can take you to the movies."

Again, record screech and Spencer was stuck on pause once again by him. Her entire plan, thwarted in the matter of a second. What plan exactly, she had no idea. But there was one coming to her before he decided to offer himself up to her.

"Uh, sure, Aiden. That'd be great. You wanna go tonight?"

Her head felt like a ping pong ball, moving from Ashley to Aiden to Ashley and back to Aiden. She kept thinking of things to say but nothing was coming and her chance was becoming smaller and smaller.

"Yeah, definitely, I have nothing planned. If you want, we can get something to eat afterwards."

"As long as I'm not on the menu then that's good."

They both laughed softly and smiled while Spencer sat there with the most disgusted expression on her face. _Fuck me gently with a chainsaw_.

"Well even if you're not, I guarantee you a good night."

Ew, and he winked at her. He actually winked. What was next, a click of his tongue and that cheesy gun wiggle thing with his hand?

"Spence, you wanna come too?"

Suddenly that statement was a lot dirtier than intended, no doubt, and made the blonde recoil for a second. "What?"

"Do you wanna come with us to the movies?"

She watched the brunette and realized this was how it'd be all night if she went. Watching them flirt and just feeling like the outcast who was boiling with jealousy at everything they would say to each other. That was a night of fun she wasn't interested in having.

"Oh, uh, no…thanks. I'm just gonna study tonight. I have to. Got that math quiz tomorrow." She started to gather her things, completely missing the two pairs of eyes watching in confusion as she stuttered her way through getting her stuff. "I'll call you later."

And before they could even ask what was wrong, she had left.

--


	10. Chapter 10

--

"Architecture in Helsinki? Say Hi To Your Mom? New Young Pony Club? You do realize these are some of the weirdest band names ever, right?"

"Which makes them that much more appealing. Who wants a band named after something conventional and generic? Always go against the grain, Spencer, to find the truth. And the weirder the name, the better the band."

Spencer smirked as she rolled her eyes, "You do realize you're, like, completely wrong, right?"

The brunette was still talking from inside her spacious walk in closet, throwing random shirts and jeans onto the floor of her room.

"Of course you wouldn't appreciate the beauty of a good, catchy, weird ass name like The Jealous Girlfriends or something. You're just not that _scene_, Spencer _dahlin_'."

"Listening to bands with the weirdest names doesn't make you _scene_. Besides, you're still wrong. The band name has nothing to do with the quality of the band."

"Aren't you, like, tone deaf?"

Spencer's eyes rolled of their own accord now…she was no longer even making them do anything. She leaned over and grabbed one of the shirts thrown carelessly on the floor before checking it to see if it was her size. She kept inspecting the shirt, the more she looked at it, the more she liked it. "I think I have to be since I listen to you all day."

And without warning...she was met with a rough pair of denim jeans hurled right at her head. If she hadn't been smiling before she was definitely smiling now. Their playful fights were always so much fun, mostly because they never felt unnecessary or too childish or any of that. It was just them being themselves with one another. She was always sure that when she needed a shoulder to cry on, there was Ashley with her arm ready and willing. Just like if she needed a pillow fight, Ashley already had her tube socks and pajamas on ready to fight.

She walked out of the closet with two pairs of jeans and one stringy black shirt dangling from her fingers. "That's what you get for that."

Spencer didn't even bother to sit back up, she just lay on her back for a few moments, smiling stupidly at the ceiling before turning over on her side and watching the brunette eye different articles of clothing all strewn over her floor. She grabbed Ashley's iPod again, which she had previously just tossed to the side, and began thumbing through her artist library again.

"Escape The Fate? Family Force 5?....Hoobastank? Really, Ashley?"

She was too preoccupied with sorting through her mountain pile of clothes to look back towards Spencer. "What? They have good songs. Besides, I don't judge that Death Cab crap you listen to all the time."

The offhand comment about her musical taste rolled off her back. She was pretty much used to it already from the brunette, besides the fact that she knew Ashley had some Death Cab songs in her iPod anyway.

"That's funny since I happen to know you love _Transatlanticism_."

"One good album doesn't take away from the fact that they're crazy emo. They're _like one guitar and a whole lot of complaining_."

Shaking her head, she had to smile. "Ashley, when will you stop quoting things to back up your flawed arguments?"

Ashley simply turned her head while pinning one of her shirts on her shoulders as her body was facing the mirror on the wall. Her eyebrow rose as she spoke, "When you finally admit that I'm always right and that all this little arguing you do is just a cover up for the serious hard on you have for me."

They didn't exchange words but instead just looks. Ashley's defiance and Spencer's annoyance. They continued their little stare contest for a few more seconds before Ashley broke first and turned back to the mirror leaving the blonde laying there again, thumbing through her library. She had been fighting hard not to let the smile tempting the corners of her mouth to shine through, little did she know, Ashley was doing the same.

"Louis XIV?"

Eyeing her through the mirror, "Yeah, check out _Air Traffic Control_."

Spencer clicked on the song and began listening with one ear bud in her ear. From the first few seconds, she already knew she'd like the song. Music itself always connected with her more than lyrics ever could. If the music could capture her enough for her to listen, then she would listen to the lyrics later. Melodies are harmonies always won her over first, though. As she listened, falling for it more and more, she watched the girl in front of her check through different articles of clothing and check in the mirror to see what worked and what didn't.

Something pinched at her mind and the thought of the brunette's date earlier that week with Aiden wouldn't leave her mind. As much as she didn't want to know, there was still a part curious.

"So…how was the date the other night?"

"What date?" She was really oblivious as she picked up and tossed different blouses all in different colors and styles.

"You know…with Aiden."

"That was a date?"

Raising an eyebrow, she eyed the brunette, "Unless they changed the definition and I wasn't told?"

Ashley was still completely absorbed by her mirror and what she was doing. "Oh, yeah. Well I guess when you have hot sex in a hotel at the end of the night it sorta kills the 'date' idea and just becomes a one night stand kinda thing."

She turned back to see the blonde scowling at her while lying on the bed. Her lips turned up in her trademark smirk as she stuck her tongue out at her. "Oh c'mon, I was kidding! You know I only do booty calls. One night stands aren't my thing. I need some kind of familiarity."

The scowl only hardened on her light features. "_Familiarity_? Is that what they're calling it these days?"

Turning completely around to face Spencer, Ashley tossed the string tank top she was holding at her. "Yup, that's what the memo said."

Pulling the shirt from off her face, "What are you even doing with all your clothes? You know that won't take out the wrinkles."

Her body automatically posed for a second, head tilted, eyebrow raised, hands on hips, leaning on one leg. It was a mystery to the blonde how much Ashley didn't know how sexy she could be without even trying sometimes. "You're _awfully_ quick today." She turned back around to check the awaiting pile laying on the floor, letting out a sigh.

"What?"

"I'm just doing some spring cleaning."

"…It's not even spring, Ashley."

"Who said I had to clean in the spring _only_?"

On one hand, she liked that their conversation steered from the topic still hanging in the air about her best friend who was currently at basketball practice. On the other, she was still curious about how exactly their play date went and what happened on it. There was a part of her that wanted to know exactly how much time they'd been spending together for some strange reason she couldn't quite explain.

"So, you still didn't tell me how it went with Aiden."

Shrugging softly, "It went from his car to the theater and back."

Taking the hint, she back off slowly as she got up to sit properly, turning off the iPod that had been on this entire time without an ear to really listen. "Ok, ok, if you don't wanna talk about it…"

She pressed her weight onto her knee as it bent onto the bed, getting inadvertently closer to the blonde. "There's just nothing to tell. He picked me up, we went to the movies. Jumper sucked, by the way. Good for some eyecandy but it sucked for everything else." Spencer smiled softly as she heard the brunette talk. "Then he took me home."

Nodding to herself, she couldn't hide the small sense of relief she felt as she heard how their "date" went.

"He did ask me out again, though."

Spoke too soon, apparently. Her cobalt eyes shot up to watch Ashley, who was swaying back and forth on her foot. Pressing her weight on and off her knee on the bed.

"Really? What'd you say?"

She shrugged again, "I told him sure. It's not a big deal. Besides, it's not like my admirer is asking me out to go to the movies or to dinner."

Her ears perked slightly in time with her blonde eyebrows. "Dinner? Sounds serious."

"Not really. Aiden's thought of 'dinner' is like a value meal at McDonalds with a trip to the gym afterwards."

She smiled against her will but it didn't last long this time. "Yeah, but you still said you'd go."

Getting off the bed completely, Ashley shrugged for the third time as she spoke. "I said I'd go, yeah. It's not like he's not fun to go out with. Besides I don't have anyone else looking to take me out at the moment. Gotta make the most of the situation when it comes."

Spencer didn't have a response set for that one. How could she when it was all true. Aiden _was_ fun to go out with and he _was_ the one presenting the chance to go out to her. She wasn't. There was almost no room to debate this from any angle but that didn't help her feel any better about this whole thing. How could she, when the girl she was so in love with is being courted by the same best friend she promised to help to get her? This was all how it was supposed to happen and she was an accomplice to that.

"I jus-"

Ashley's cell rang loudly through the room and she walked over to her couch to pick up the call. Flipping her phone open, she recognized the voice immediately. "Hey Aiden…"

Spencer sighed out the rest of her unfinished response before turning the iPod still in her hands back on. She put in both headphones and let her body fall back on the plush bed she was sitting on.

--


	11. Chapter 11

--

Two weeks had passed. Spencer watched as Ashley and Aiden got closer, constantly going out on _non dates_. Whatever that means. Their playful banter in front of her, especially, was something she couldn't stomach so much.

Whenever she asked Ashley what happened on their "dates", the brunette would continuously downplay the whole thing and make it seem it wasn't as big as Spencer made it out to be. She couldn't tell if the girl either was just not that concerned with Aiden or if she was secretly trying to spare her feelings. Whatever it was, Spencer didn't like it and wanted it to stop. Now.

That was why after her sixth class, when she knew Ashley was going to be in the school counselor's office having her monthly check in, she took the opportunity to do what she wanted to do from the beginning of this whole thing.

"Aiden, we need to talk."

"Spence! Yeah, I know, I have a bunch of stuff to tell you too."

"Ok, let me go first." She let her bag fall down on the bench before she sat down. "I need to tell you I can't-"

"Dude, I know but wait. Lemme just tell you that Ashley and I…are _bank_."

She had to suppress the urge to hurl and roll her eyes at him. She loved him but there were things she hated about him too – like his use of the word "dude" and when he said things like "bank" when in reference to having something for sure. There was just something about it that annoyed her to no end.

"Aiden. I'm trying to tell you something."

"I know, Spence, but I can't keep it inside. I haven't told anybody yet, you were the only one I wanted to talk to about it since, well, you did help it all come true."

Insert knife in chest, so far that it could reach her back. She knew she did all of it, she didn't need him to remind her.

"Exactly. It's because of that…that I can't keep helping you."

He looked up from his tray, his eyebrows creasing together above his eyes as he looked at her in confusion.

"What do you mean you can't keep helping me? Why not?"

She knew he would ask her that question but it didn't stop it from making her heart speed up as she raced to think of an answer. An answer other than the truth.

"Be-because, Aiden…it's too weird now. You're my friend, she's my…my friend. It's just weird for me to keep being in the middle of all this."

His head hung a bit as he tried to understand it all but something was still plaguing him.

"Ok…I get that. But it's not like you're really in the middle. You're just writing what I say but in a better way. Kinda like my own little secretary."

It was her turn for her head to hang as she looked for a way to answer. She knew he had reason, not that common but it does happen, but she also knew she had some kind of reason in this whole mess.

"I'm not your secretary." He hid a small smirk as she continued. "But I am in the middle of this. Just because I'm writing what _you_ say doesn't make a difference. You brought me into this, Aiden. I mean, what happens if something doesn't happen between you two? Or worse, what if something does happen between you? I'm stuck right in the middle of it!"

"What's so bad about something happening between us?"

She took a quick second before responding to him, casting her eyes towards the grey, speckled counter of their table. "That I'll be stuck between you two which is somewhere I don't really wanna be. You know how I feel about PDA and I really don't want to be in a position where I can turn around and see you two….being all….weird…"

The thought of it made her gag reflex work in overdrive already. It was beginning to work as a trigger – _to hurl, press one; to inevitably-be-stuck-in-a-sticky-situation-between-love-and-friendship, press two…_.

Luckily, she seemed to be getting through the massive amounts of gel and into his thick skull. His head nodding while he popped one fry in his mouth, still looking like he was deliberating a solution to this week's big math question.

"Ok? I guess I can understand but you know it wouldn't be like that. I would never put you in a weird place if anything ever did – or didn't – happen with me and Ashley. But, I guess I can't ask you to keep helping me with this. I would really love it if you did, though…" His earnest eyes were boring into hers as he spoke, making sure never to blink as he tried to drive his point home. "I already have her possibly thinking about me as more than a friend…I don't wanna murder that by sounding like an idiot again in the letters I send her. You know me as good as I know me…and we know I sound like an idiot without your help."

She wanted to smile at this, it was so true that he did sound like a moron. He couldn't get poetry even if it was shoved down his throat and granted, what she was doing for him wasn't poetry but there [i]was[/i] something poetic about the entire situation. To be in love with someone from afar and all that stuff that they'd been taught in fairy tales.

The longer she looked at him, the more her resolve and firm foot on the ground began to sway and loosen. The place she was putting herself in was something she would rather die than be in but there was still this…thing. This feeling locked in her chest, something biting at her.

His warm ginger eyes were working at her, so harshly. A sigh escaped her lips, "I really don't wanna keep doing this…"

"Ok…ok, look at it this way. With any luck, I won't have to write her any letters soon and then you won't have to keep doing this. Just, please…_please_ Spence, help me out for just a little bit longer and I promise I'll never bother you with something like this again. I swear."

"That doesn't make it any more appealing."

"C'mon, please!" His voice sounded like it'd begin to whine any minute and that was definitely something that she had no desire to hear. For many reasons.

Her eyes rolled in frustration as she thought of what to do. She knew this wouldn't have been easy but she also didn't think it'd be this hard either.

Another sigh tumbled out of her lips before she eyed her friend sitting not too far from her, "One more letter. That's all I'm giving. One more and either you tell her or you start writing your own."

That seemed to work for him just fine since his lips turned up in the biggest smile. "Cool! That's good and I promise, no matter what, you won't be in the middle or whatever."

She just nodded, giving him a small smile and looking off to the side, the wind blowing towards her as she eyed her other classmates enjoying their lunch and completely absorbed in their own conversations.

--


	12. Chapter 12

--

The escalator slowly rose as Ashley turned towards the blonde beside her, taking her in for a quick second before letting her voice out.

"Did you ever have pets?"

Spencer turned towards the brunette, her eyebrows raised as she took in the question. "You mean besides you?"

Ashley's head tilted towards her shoulder as she let her tongue rest against her cheek, her mouth slightly open completely absorbing all of Spencer's attention. Even while trying _not_ to pay attention to the brunette's weird oral fixation, she kept her smirk very much intact.

"That's really cute. I'll be nice and let you have that one…I don't wanna make you cry this early in the day." She watched the blonde roll her eyes playfully before they stepped off the escalator, reaching the upper floor. "Anyway, my question still needs an answer."

"Why do you need an answer?"

"Because I asked?"

Spencer let her lips rest and smiled as her head shook knowingly. "Yes, I had a pet once. When I was eight."

"Piglet?"

Her face turned up in a scowl. "Ew! It was a cat."

It was Ashley's turn to scowl disapprovingly. "Ew, it was a cat!"

"What's wrong with cats?"

"They're a not piglets, that's what! And cats are… catty. Ugh."

Her eyes rolled of their own accord as they walked and she watched the stores to her side pass her by. "Hence the name. Seriously, what's wrong with a cat?"

Ashley's grimace rested calmly on her face as they walked. "They're just…not my kind of animal."

"Weird." She was honestly surprised seeing as both creatures, cats and the catty brunette walking alongside her, shared too many similarities. Engaging, seductive, whatever else it was that made cats, cats.

"Why is it weird?"

She didn't want to help inflate the already bloated ego Ashley had. "Because….they make good pets."

Her scowl returned, as fierce as ever. "Yeah, if you're seventy and alone."

The blonde's jaw fell open in between giggles that she couldn't hold in any more even if she tried. "That's so not true!" She watched as Ashley put her hands up, shrugging her shoulders, silently giving her a _Just sayin'!_ answer as they walked past JC Penney. "Alright, what makes pigs such a much better pet?"

"Not pigs, pig_lets_. They're adorable, for one," she said it so matter of factly, Spencer was having a hard time trying to contain her laughter instead letting a smirk creep on her lips. "And they're so unique. No one has a pet piglet. While you get your face scratched off and your soul sucked by your precious kitty, I'll be living it up with my piggy."

Her eyes closed instead of rolling because it was becoming too much work to have them roll back and forth. "Ashley….that makes _no_ sense at all."

The brunette hadn't turned to look at Spencer in all the time they'd been walking. She walked along, almost as if she didn't know the girl beside her. Her feline admiration was too much for her right now.

"Of course it wouldn't make sense to a cat lover like you."

The smirk on her lips grew into a full smile as she shook her head once again, closing her eyes again to stop them from rolling at the weirdness of their conversation. "Ok, Ash."

She kept going, even when the playful fight they were engaging in was already dying. Never the one to lose a fight – even one in jest.

"That's right. Now you know where the lines are drawn. I'll stay with Miss Piggy over here on the good side, the side of truth and you can stay on your side with Animal or something."

Taking a moment, Spencer turned towards her, "Animal wasn't a cat…"

Finally looking over at the blonde, Ashley's eyebrows creased as she tried to remember what exactly Animal was. Her history on the Muppets was a bit fuzzy. Finally giving up, she shrugged and kept walking. "Whatever, he was still ugly and ripped everything to shreds, like a cat. Therefore, he stays on your si- Abercrombie! Let's check it out."

It took a few seconds to find where the brunette's attention had gone towards but once she followed her line of sight, it was all clear. With a small giggle escaping her lips, "Your attention span is the worst."

Ignoring whatever was said in the span of the five seconds between her seeing the store and grabbing Spencer's wrist and dragging her to the door, they were inside looking at what the blonde considered over priced jeans and flimsy shirts. She was more of a Gap and Old Navy girl anyway. Ashley, letting go of Spencer's wrist, walked up to check the newest collections that were laid out on the tables in the middle of the floor. Eyeing a particular mannequin off to the men's section, she sauntered over. Spencer followed, trying to keep her eyes from trailing the brunette's hips.

"This…is the perfect outfit."

She watched as Ashley felt the fabric of the clothing that was so perfectly pinned up on the mannequin. She looped her arm around the headless model's arm while Spencer watched in amusement and embarrassment.

"What are you doing?"

"It's the perfect man, don't you think? He knows how to dress, is the perfect size, and never talks back."

The smile crawling up on Spencer face was really too tough to try and hide. So she went with it.

"Maybe that's 'cause he's a mannequin. And doesn't have a head."

Ashley sighed dreamily, almost as if she wasn't listening to the other girl. She looked up at the face that wasn't there, blew it a kiss as Spencer giggled, and freed herself from it. "It's too bad you can't find more guys like this. Maybe then it'd be easier to go out with them."

"Yeah…but I do remember someone saying once, they're not the _only _choice." Spencer rested her weight on one foot, her head tilted as her hair fell off her shoulder. Looking at her, Ashley let her lips smirk seductively.

"Stop stealing my lines." They watched each other for a moment, smile matching the other's smirk. Before it crossed into that vague air of uncomfortable, Ashley turned back towards the pale headless model beside her. "Too bad. To think, even Aiden scores a two out of three next to this guy."

Suddenly she felt her ears perk up as her pulse began thumping against her skin. "What?"

She didn't stop fixing the fitting blazer as she spoke, "Yeah, he can dress and is the perfect size when it comes to me – for a guy because how stupid would it look with me walking around with some guy that I could look at on eye level -," she definitely did have a point but Spencer was too concerned with where she was getting at. "But if he could stop talking sometimes. God. It's like he's always on play but there's no mute button."

Swallowing the lodged boulder in her throat, Spencer stepped her way towards the wall of shelves stuffed with jeans. She made it seem like she was looking for her size as she turned towards the brunette, keeping her eyes on the shelf in front of her. "Oh." She kept looking through faded washed denim, trying to keep the word vomit from coming up but it spilled anyway. "You guys have been getting close lately…"

Ashley slid from table to table, checking every piece of fabric her eyes came across. She eyed the blonde quickly as she moved to the table closest to her, picking up and opening the petite tee shirt to get a full view.

"Yeah, I guess. Nothing that special."

Her eyes were watching nothing in particular as she spoke, her arms moving to make it seem like she was actually doing something. "From what I know, it's definitely not _nothing that special_."

"Oh? And what do you know?"

"I…I know you guys have gone out a few nights now together on these 'non dates' or whatever you call them." Spencer never stopped moving anything but her eyes.

"Hmm." There was a short pause between them as the overhead music played softly. "Well it's not like we're a couple or anything. I don't go out with him and think we're boyfriend/girlfriend or anything but I guess it's nice sometimes. Besides, he's a nice distraction sometimes."

Taking her gaze off the rack in front of her and looking over at the brunette for the first time since she started moving, Spencer watched her move through shirt to shirt on the table. "A distraction from what?"

A small, soft laugh escaped as she spoke, "Life."

They fell silent for a moment. She couldn't tell if it was the music that was causing that beat to thump in her ears or if it was her heatbeat pounding. Watching Ashley for a little bit, move effortlessly through racks and different tables, she fought to find something to say, everything seeming somewhat stupid or insignificant at the moment.

"So…get any more of those letters?"

Finally looking up at the blonde, finding her watching her as well, "Oh, yeah! I completely forgot to tell you."

She could tell Ashley's excitement over not being able to find anything worth buying really weighing her down so instead of changing the topic, she strategically began walking back towards the entrance, the brunette following subconsciously.

"So how's that going? Still haven't figured out who it is?"

Taking one last look before leaving, Ashley met Spencer's stare as they started walking through the vast mall.

"Nothing really new. Just the usual _without you, I wouldn't know the beauty of even the simplest things_ blah, blah, blah." Her eyes rolled self consciously as she heard her words tumbling out of the brunette's mouth in such a bored tone, "But this letter had something a little different."

Ears perked. "Which was?"

"It sounded…final. Like they might just tell me who they are or keep pussing out and just never come up to me."

She tried to keep her own honest conclusions and answers out of the conversation as possible so as to not lead any breadcrumbs.

"Sounds weird. Well, let's just say they did show themselves to you. What would you do?"

Entering the food court, they stopped by to get some ice cream. As they waited in line, Ashley stopped to think about a real answer to the question. She had thought of what she'd do before but really, the opportunity never seemed like it'd come but now, there was an actual possibility. It was much more real.

"I dunno. I guess we'd just talk and see what could come out of it. I'll never turn down a fan."

Rolling her eyes, Spencer stepped up to the girl behind the counter to ask for a cup of strawberry and pistachio. Ashley followed right after with her own cup of chocolate chip cookie dough with a scoop of vanilla. Getting their orders, they went to find somewhere to sit, opting for a booth. Why sit on a hard chair when there was a comfortable booth for the taking?

"Seriously, you would consider talking and being with them?"

Shrugging while holding her cup up as her elbows rested on the table, her spoon sliding through her lips, "Yeah, why not. Everyone has to audition to get to me."

Smirking as the blonde sat resting against the booth, her one hand holding her spoon as she fed herself resting on the table in between bites as her free hand lay in her lap. "Ashley, this isn't a show. They're not competing to win you."

"They should! I'd have such a better show than any of those other bitches have!"

Her eyes rolled once more, trying to get a real answer. "You still didn't answer my question."

"Why is it so important? Or so shocking?" Ashley peeked over at the girl from above her cup as she scooped out some vanilla.

"It's just…I mean you've never done something like this before. I'd think it'd be weird."

"It's no weirder than going out on a blind date or something. It's no big deal. I just.."

Curious as to what she was going to say Spencer leaned forward a bit never taking her eyes off the brunette. "What?"

Ashley scooped out a bit more ice cream, closing her lips around the plastic pink spoon as it slid slowly through her lips. "I just think it might be nice to go out with somebody who thinks so much of me without really knowing me. It's sweet."

"I think they know you better than you think."

Her lips rose slightly in a bashful smile as she hid her face the best she could behind her cup. Taking the chance not to hide, Spencer sat comfortably watching the brunette, her own lips tugging up into a smile as she looked down at her ice cream before going in for another scoop.

They sat that way for the rest of their meal.

--


	13. Chapter 13

--

She had been quiet all day. Normally that wouldn't be so weird but today, there was a reason as to why she was so quiet. She was deep in thought about what she was going to do about her predicament.

Spencer sat alone in all her classes, skipping Math class for the first time ever just so she didn't have to sit across from Ashley. She was avoiding the girl at every turn. Aiden was another one she was avoiding, even more so since after the last letter she promised to write for him, he had been so eager to tell her everything…_everything_…that happened between him and the brunette that was being pulled between the two of them.

Most of her time alone she either spent in the bathroom or in the deserted room next to the faculty lounge that hardly anyone knew about except one person. The person who told her how to get into the room.

One guess to who that one person was.

Right now, she was sitting on the other side of the quad which was far away from the gym and the cafeteria so it was far enough from wandering eyes but not completely deserted.

There were just two possible ways to get out of this entire situation that was making her life suck, at the moment. One was either going to make her life suck more while the other would make her life suck for the moment and give time the opportunity to make it suck even more or suck less depending on what Ashley's response.

"Spence, God, I was looking all over for you! I need you to do me a favor."

Why did all the men in her life always want some kind of favor from her? It never failed. First Aiden and now Glen who surprisingly had made some kind of an appearance being that he was usually incognito trying to score some _babe_, as he liked to call them.

"I'm really not in the mood, Glen."

He looked at her thoughtfully as he sat down on the top of the table, his feet sitting on the bench. "Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd ever hear."

She rolled her eyes, continuing to look ahead of her, resting her back and head against the skinny tree behind her. It was random, a benched table right next to a scrawny tree but it fit her mood at the moment. She didn't ask any questions. She had enough questions to answer.

"You're such an ass sometimes."

"It's my brotherly right. Now do your duty and help a brother out."

"I really don't wanna be rude, Glen, but seriously, I'm not in the mood. Whatever you need, just ask one of those mindless bimbos you love to have hang around you."

"No can do, little sis. I need some scholastic help here, and my best bet is to go with a nerd."

She rolled her eyes once again. "Thanks."

"Don't mention it." He smiled from that one side of his mouth that made him look more like a douche by the second.

"Insulting the person you want a favor from is really smart."

His smirk faltered. "Yeah, well, you get paid in compliments when you finish the work."

Her eyes never met his yet, even as she shifted in her seat by bringing up her knees on the bench to hug against her chest. "That's saying I'm even gonna do whatever you want. And at this rate, I wouldn't ask you to pay me _attention_." She saw, from the corner of her eyes, his growing scowl as she spoke. "Just ask Clay to do it."

Straightening up a bit, he turned towards her slightly as he spoke. His tight blond curls dancing a bit with the wind. "I already did and he said something that sounded like homework, and Chelsea, and some other crap. I tuned out. Anyway, he can't do it so that leaves _you_."

"Wrong."

"Spencer!"

"I'm sitting right _here_, Glen. You don't have to yell, I can hear you."

He rolled his light eyes before running his hands up and down his thighs. Spencer still hadn't looked directly at him but he was doing nothing but watching her. His stare softened as he watched his younger sister stare so sadly out into the quad.

"What's the matter?"

She sighed. "Nothing."

"Nothing must be pretty interesting since you're thinking so hard."

Her sigh ran longer this time, finally meeting his squinting eyes. "Seriously, Glen..."

Coming down to sit on the bench, one leg on either side of the teal seat while he faced her directly. "Alright, look, you don't have to tell me whatever it is that's bugging you but really, I need this paper done. If you do this for me, I swear I'll leave you alone."

Staring into his eyes, tempted to roll her own at him for being so selfish and so…_Glen_, she looked away hugging her legs to her chest.

"Fine. I'll do it."

His smile brightened his face as he clapped and rubbed his hands together, whispering a silent 'yes'. Fixing himself on the bench, leaning his elbows back on the table as he crossed his feet which were adorned with his favorite pair of flip flops, Glen sat back, relaxing while his younger sister was sitting by his side, unmoving. Spencer didn't really care about doing his paper or not, she just wanted to be left alone for now. She could see Aiden coming out into the quad, his lunch tray in his hand as he gripped onto that purple bag he loved so much.

She could either tell him the truth today or just keep it to herself. What right did she really have to tell him the truth _now_ after all? Completely coming in between him and what could make him happy? There was a significant chance that their friendship would cease to exist after she told him and she really didn't want that. Through everything, she loved him. Loved him like the best friend they had been for some time now.

But she had just as much right to be happy as he did. Right? She'd like to think so but with the whole situation she put herself in, it wasn't such a clear cut issue.

Spencer had been so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't notice Glen staring at her, looking at her somewhat confused with his eyes squinting.

"What?"

He didn't blink until his gaze turned from her to his rival across the quad who looked like he was occupied with talking to Ashley at the moment. Turning back towards the petite blonde beside him.

"If you got something to say, just say it. quit sulking and do what you want for once, Spencer."

It was her turn to tilt her head at him confused slightly as to how perceptive he could be considering he was somewhat of a moron. Brother and she adored him, but let's face it. He was kind of an idiot.

"What?"

He grabbed his bag off the table and stood up off the bench. "Just sayin'. It's that simple."

Squinting at him as the sun shone on them both, he walked away with her following him with her eyes until they caught the familiar brunette running through her thoughts across the quad talking with Aiden. It was really that simple. She had enough to lose but so much more to gain if she just came out and said it. This was the moment of truth for her. How much longer could she really go on denying what she felt for so long just for the sake of friendship and not hurting anyone?

Getting up off the faded teal bench, Spencer began walking towards her friends. Determination in her eyes for once.

_Hey, Aiden, you mind if I talk to Ashley for a sec?_

_Ashley, I have to tell you something._

_I love you._

The different possible scenarios that ran through her mind made her lips turn up in a small smile as she walked, her head hanging as she watched the grass beneath her. First, she would profess her love, the secret she'd been hiding for so long and then after a second of silence, Ashley would maul her with kisses and say _Oh, my God I love you too!_

Ok maybe not _that_ dramatic but something to that extent.

The more grass she saw move under her, the wider her smile became, the more hopeful she became over the different responses to her news she kept cooking up in her mind. Finally hearing voices becoming louder and closer, she raised her head, completely ready to let it all out. her heart was thumping against her chest but it was a good thump. Something she hadn't felt in a little while.

Until her locked eyes with _that_. With Aiden leaning down and capturing Ashley's lips with his. Her arms reaching up to rest on his shoulders as she gave into the kiss. Her feet rising a bit.

That gag reflex you feel when you brush your tongue and the brush reaches too far back…yeah, Spencer was feeling that. Along with a huge knot in her throat as she kept walking towards the cafeteria, clear out of sight.

--


	14. Chapter 14

--

Ignoring wasn't really helping. Neither was trying to drown it out using the different array of music in her iPod. No matter what, it was always there…thumping away.

She couldn't deny it any longer. What else was there to do about it but just…confront it? Spencer had been lying in her room all day, after having faked a stomach ache and sore throat just to get out of going to school. And now here she was, lying on her back on her twin sized bed, staring up at the plain ceiling, one headphone in her ear as her thumb tickled the touch wheel, raising the volume every other second trying to drown it out.

There really was no reason to stay inside, it had been a week that she sought recluse from everyone, hardly answering her phone or really hanging out anywhere and it didn't help her really at all.

But finally, she just had to confront it. Walking down her stairs one at a time, she reached the door and opened to stop the constant knocking that she had been trying to ignore.

There stood the same brunette that had been running through her thoughts all this time.

"So…" Ashley let her hand linger in the air, her fist still in the rhythm of knocking, before she leaned on the door frame letting her eyes roam over Spencer's body until locking eyes. "I just have a question. Have you accepted Jesus as your lord and savior?"

She was working hard to hide her smirk at girl standing on her doorstep, instead opting to just roll her eyes. "What do you want, Ashley?"

Without waiting for an invite she stepped inside without passing the blonde. "You mean wanting to see your beautiful face isn't enough? I need more reasons to see you now?"

She tried to hide her smirk as she spoke but it was too hard to when she could see Spencer trying to hide the creeping blush on her cheeks by rolling her eyes. Spencer stepped over to the side a bit more to let the brunette walk in properly, making her way into the hallway towards the living room.

"Where are the 'rents?"

"Work. Clay and Glen are trying to _share_ the car while at the mall."

"So basically we can finally play out that bear skin rug fantasy without any interruptions." She winked before walking into the living room, leaving a gasping Spencer still by the door. Luckily the brunette was out of sight, not to see her trying to regain some sense of a breath.

Finally getting comfortable, she closed the door and made her way into the room. "You still haven't said why you came over."

Without looking back, she sat down slowly down on the couch, making sure to take her time between sitting and laying slightly with her feet up on the small table in the middle of the room. She smoothed the cushions beside her, smirking to herself while keeping her eyes down on the ground or the table in front of her.

"Needed a change of scenery."

"Because the scenery around you is so boring?"

Finally raising her gaze to stare at Spencer, her eyes smirking along with her lips. "Exactly." She crossed her legs slowly with her eyes fixed on the blonde. "Now what have _you_ been up to? You weren't in Hogan's class today. It feels like I haven't seen or talked to you in years."

Spencer, who had been having a really hard time trying to keep her eyes from roaming over the brunette's legs and relaxed body as she sat on the sofa across from the girl. She didn't put her feet up on the table but instead just crossed them and sat back against the cushion, silently challenging Ashley.

"_Years_, Ash? Really? You're so dramatic. You saw me yesterday-"

"Going into the bathroom."

"But you still saw me." She knew what was happening and she wasn't going to back down so easily either. "Besides, I've been in Mr. Hogan's class every day but toda-"

"Sleeping and late. And when I did get up, you're running out of class."

"I had to go to the bathroom."

"Exactly."

The could've kept going back and forth all day, one not willing to let the other win in their ongoing game of replies. Spencer kept quiet for a few seconds, knowing there was no way to win that particular game yet, opting to return to the topic she was still waiting an answer for.

"Why did you come today?"

Ashley didn't miss a beat but rolled her eyes lightly as she answered. "Are you really gonna waste our time together asking me questions you know the answer to?"

Spencer squared her shoulders, crossing her arms to match her legs as she smirked over at the brunette across from her. "If I knew the answer, I wouldn't ask."

Raising an eyebrow while spreading her arms to lay on either cushion beside her, "You'd still ask just to know if you were right… or wrong."

"So what am I right or wrong about?"

Ashley smiled widely before answering. "That yes, I did watch Grindhouse and no, I didn't like Planet Terror better."

Golden strands fell in front of her eyes as she dead panned on the smiling brunette. Her eyes were in that half open way that you knew said _you're so stupid_. "Ashley…"

The brunette's smile never faltered, but did widen. "What?! It had six…ok, maybe four or five, hot girls who had really short shorts and were kicking ass. So excuse me if that clouded my judgement."

She really tried. She really did but the eye roll that set upon her eyes was too much to ignore, especially with an answer like that. Even with all that though, she couldn't stop her lips from slipping into a comfortable smile.

"You're really such a guy."

"Mom did say the doctor said I was a boy in the sonogram."

"That explains why you have such a –"

"Careful, Spencer." One lonely finger rose to the air as Ashley warned Spencer, her smile still broadening on her face. They both sat there, looking like mischievous little girls waiting to do something as soon as mommy turned around.

"I was just gonna say you have such a guy's mentality."

She didn't have anything to reply with but a smile so instead; she nodded slowly, leaning back a bit more on the sofa.

***

About a half an hour later, both girls were still sitting in their same seats only this time the TV was on and their attention was, or supposedly was, on the episode of Made on MTV. Spencer's eyes kept roaming over the smooth skin of Ashley's leg, reaching from her feet all the way up until her skirt hid it from her sneaking azure eyes. She couldn't tell if Ashley was watching her as well since every time she peeked over, she was sure the brunette wasn't looking but there were at least three times she was sure she felt someone watching her just as intently as she had been.

A commercial break hit and still everything was silent between them until something came on that peaked the brunette's interest.

"Who's that girl?"

Surprised at hearing _something_ coming from the girl across the table, Spencer looked from the TV to Ashley, confused for a second before looking back at the TV. A commercial for some movie was on. Something with cavemen and some huge CGI prehistoric animal. It was like Raja from Aladdin with mammoth fangs.

It took her a few seconds to recognize who Ashley was asking about.

"Camilla Belle?"

She nodded, still looking towards the screen. "Yeah, yeah! Where's she from?"

"You mean nationality?"

"No, like, what other movies?"

Taking a sec to remember what movies she remembered the actress in, "When A Stranger Calls?"

A biting scoff came from her glossed lips as she kept her eyes on the screen, studying the petite girl trying to remember where she was from. "Please. Would I ever be caught dead watching that shit?"

Her eyes rolled again, watching Ashley watch the TV intently. "Fine….that movie with Elisha Cuthbert? The Quiet?"

Ashley shook her head, still watching, her frustration growing. "No, I never saw that!"

There was a quick silence as Spencer thought through her list of movies in her head. A list that was pretty short. Suddenly the only other answer she had popped in her head and she was wary to ask because she was pretty sure it wasn't the right answer but it was the last movie she could think of.

"_Rip girls_?"

Finally turning to look at the blonde, Ashley's eyes widened, "That's it!"

She couldn't stop the giggles escaping her lips as she watched the excited girl across from her sigh in relief. Seriously, out of all movies, _that's_ the one she remembered her from?

***

Another hour passed and they still sat in the same seats, with Ashley practically lying on the couch and Spencer watching the TV, her head tilted on the cushion behind her. She was really trying not to fall asleep but it was becoming too much for her eyes to just stay open. The only thing keeping her awake was her desire to find out exactly why the brunette was still at her house and why she came in the first place.

When she heard a familiar ringtone break their quiet, the sleep threatening her eyelids seemed to go away slowly. Ashley took a few moments to get to her phone, pulling it from her front pocket before opening it and pressing it to her ear.

"Hello?"

Spencer couldn't hear who was on the other end but that didn't stop her from trying her best to drone out everything else to try and hear the voice on the line.

"No, I'm just…I'm at Spencer's. Yeah…..nothing much." Ashley's bent her leg, waving her knee in the air, as she massaged her temple with her free hand. "No, yeah…yeah, whenever you get out…just call me. Alright, bye."

She was silently picking lint, that wasn't really there, off the cushion – trying to make it seem like she wasn't totally listening in on the conversation. Hearing Ashley's small sigh, she took it as a sign to ask.

"Who was it?"

It almost seemed like she had forgotten where she was and who she was with when she looked over towards Spencer. "Oh, that was Aiden. Just called to see where I was…if I wanted to get something to eat."

There was a change in the air…a _definite_ change in the air.

Spencer tried to suppress the urge to roll her eyes but it was becoming harder and harder.

***

Another half an hour passed by without them speaking really. Ashley didn't seem to be worried about it but every single minute that passed that was spent in silence just frustrated Spencer more and more. Why shouldn't they be talking? Why were they being so quiet? Why the hell did Aiden have to call right at that time? Why did Aiden calling get to her so much? Oh, that's right, because he was her boyfriend…or friend with benefits or whatever the hell it was he was to her.

She got up without a word to walk over to the kitchen, thinking about what exactly she was going to get once she got over there. There was no rumbling in her stomach and her throat wasn't exactly parched. She just had to get far away from that couch, from that room. The room was leaving her body in need for refreshment, like a cold shower. Something to calm for her nerves.

"That's never gonna heal if you keep picking."

Startled, Spencer turned around to find Ashley leaning on the fridge, her arms crossed loosely in front of her.

"What?"

Shaking her head, russet curls cradling her face, "I dunno. I heard it in a movie once." That tiny ever present smirk slipped on her lips, this time very subtly. "So…gonna cook me something?"

Spencer turned her back once more on the brunette, resting her hands on the sink. She really couldn't look at her right now. "I'm not that hungry."

That quick pop that came from Ashley's fingers snapping filled the space between them. "Damn! That means I don't get to ask you to cook commando." Spencer could feel the brunette's suggestive wink and eyebrow raise burn her back.

Burn like a dragon breathing fire on her. Only making it harder on her to try and be _normal_ with the girl.

"Ashley, stop…seriously, just-"

"What-"

"Ashley? What are you doing here?" Mr. Carlin walked into the kitchen, still taking off his light jacket before hanging it up on a hook on the wall. Doing that, he slightly resembled Mr. Rogers…which was a scary thought. "Come to check up on our Spence, hmm?"

His gracious eyes smiled down at the brunette as she was still caught in confusion as to what exactly was going on in the second before they were interrupted. Looking awkwardly from the taller man beside her to his daughter standing across from them, "Um…yeah. Something like that."

They hadn't said anything else for a little while longer. Spencer tried to occupy herself with the few dirty dishes she left in the sink, washing them as slowly as she could, while her father walked up to his room to change, no doubt. Ashley stood right outside the kitchen – not too sure what to do or say.

"Spencer?"

There was no answer.

"Spencer?" This time a little louder.

There was still no answer. Not even a flinch. She walked up behind the blonde, softly turning her around. "Spencer, what the hell is wrong with you?"

Her usually lively cobalt eyes didn't twinkle right now. They seemed a bit dull at the moment as she stared through the brunette. "Nothing's wrong with me."

They both knew it was a lie and it only angered Ashley more because she really was lost in a whirl of confusion. Her perfectly shaped chocolate eyebrows knit on her forehead, staring into Spencer's eyes, trying to get a response.

"That's bullshit and you know it. What the fu-"

"Hey honey, wanna help me start setting up for dinner? You're more than welcome to stay for some of my famous rigatoni." Either he had a supersonic ear or was just that good to know when was the best time to interrupt their conversation. His warm smile was one Ashley could never deny. No adult ever smiled like that at her so when he did it, she always found it extremely difficult not to oblige to anything he said.

Her eyes hadn't left the blonde, though, even as she spoke. "Sure, Mr. C. I'd love to."

"Excellent! That's what we like to hear." She tried to smile for his benefit but it wasn't coming. Something was completely off about his daughter at the moment and it was definitely something she couldn't just walk over and pretend it wasn't there.

Spencer turned towards her father as he came by her side, tying his apron behind him. She bypassed Ashley as she moved to get some things from the fridge to start dicing, trying to ignore the brunette's mystified stare.

Slowly but surely, more people started arriving. Clay and Glen came in ten minutes later, arguing about the car and whose turn it was to fill up the gas. No one was really paying attention. Just trying to ignore and keep going how they were.

"You know full well that the tank was half empty when I drove this morning. It was your turn to fill it up."

"Exactly! Dude, it was half empty when _you_ drove it which means you should've filled it up before I drove it home. Besides, I filled it up last time!"

Clay watched his brother as they walked into the hallway. "Glen, that doesn't even make sense. It was at half when we left so when we came back, you should've filled it up. It's your turn."

"It makes perfect sense! Just man up, Clay. Fork over the $3.29, pronto."

Clay regarded Glen with a bored look, his hands still in his pockets. "You can count?"

"HAHA! Quit the wasteyface bull-"

"Glen."

Both boys turned to see their father watching them as he diced up some vegetables. They dropped the issue quickly, moving over to the living room to sit with the silent brunette. Neither one showing any surprise to seeing her there.

***

Coming back from the kitchen, Mr. Carlin set the phone down on the table as he sat down to enjoy his meal with his family. "Bad news, mom's held up in the hospital and it looks like she might not be home till late tonight. We'll have to just have dinner without her."

"Sweet! Let's dig in-"

"Glen." Never losing that warmth in his face, even if his tone was serious, he rose his eyebrow. "Say grace."

Grumbling a bit as he rushed through the prayer, they all said grace before beginning their meal. Spencer and Ashley sat across from each other, along with Glen and Clay with their father at the head of the table as always. If the battle lines weren't drawn before, they sure were now…with a referee and all.

It took a few minutes before some kind of conversation emerged but it did, between the men at the table. Something related to news and sports. Neither girl was particularly sure or really paying attention. Both were trying their best not to look at the other or be caught looking at the other.

Spencer could feel the aggravation between them but she was still not willing to let it go. Why did she have to date Aiden…of all people? Why him? Why couldn't it be anyone else, anyone. Why him? And why now? She'd been single for all this time and been completely fine and now she just _had_ to be with someone?

Of course this was partially Spencer's fault but that wasn't what she was concerned with right now. She was concerned with her own anger. Anger over what was happening between them right now. Not just because of Aiden but between them. She didn't like being this way, being so distant. Feeling like there was always something missing or just off between them. It wasn't them.

For the second time in the night, a ringtone interrupted her thoughts and it came from the same phone. It didn't stop the heated discussion happening between the _men_ of the house. It was only Spencer's ears that caught onto it. Just her who watched Ashley open her phone to read a text, no doubt from the same person who called her before. She watched as the brunette replied quickly, her thumb moving in light speed before she closed her phone and set it on the table again, raising her eyes to find Spencer watching her keenly.

They watched each other for a bit, the blonde telling her silently just how upset she was and why. Before it became verbal, she tossed her napkin on the table lightly before picking up her plate and heading into the kitchen.

The guys didn't even notice. They were caught up in Lebron James and his recent scandal.

She was so wrapped up in her own thoughts, she didn't even notice when Ashley followed her into the kitchen. Her arms open this time. "What's wrong with you, Spence? I mean one minute, we're all good and then the next, you're giving me the coldest shoulder known to man and running away from me at every turn."

Spencer pushed her unfinished food down the garbage disposal before placing her empty plate in the sink and turning around slowly.

"I told you, nothing's wrong."

"Stop lying!"

And right then, before Spencer could think to reply, the lights flickered off and everything that had been making some kind of noise because it was plugged in somewhere, stopped.

"Shit." Ashley completely lost all sense of where Spencer was in the darkness. Neither girl moved, waiting to see what would happen as they adjusted to the change. The sun had already set about an hour ago so the only light was coming from the street lights outside. Spencer was bracing herself against the sink, knowing that if she let go, she would probably not be accountable for what she might do.

"Spencer, Ashley, you girls alright?" Luckily they still had Arthur there to keep them safe through it. Both girls gave him an okay as they stood, rooted to their spot.

"Ok, well since we don't know how long this blackout will go on for, how about you two go upstairs and find the flashlights and we'll look for the rest down here."

Ashley, remembering she still had her phone, opened it giving them a small flashlight to help ease the darkness out of their eyes. Without touching, the blonde and brunette made their way up the stairs careful not to trip and walked into the first room at the top of the stairs which happened to be the bathroom.

Spencer hadn't realized but Ashley closed the door behind them and set her open phone down on the sink counter. Turning to find her watching, the blonde matched her stare shortly before continuing to look for a flashlight.

"Spencer…"

"Ashley, I just wanna find this thing so we can go back downstairs. Please, let's just find it and talk about this la-"

"No!" She really wasn't having it. Thankfully they were upstairs so they might've not been heard. "We'll talk about it now. I wanna know what the hell your deal is!"

The phone rang between them in that instant, setting Spencer off before she could stop herself.

"That! Him! That's my deal, Ashley! How could you do it?"

She silenced the phone without breaking eye contact, her eyebrows, once again, creasing on her forehead. "What? Do what?"

A sigh escaped Spencer's lips; she knew there was no going back now. "How could you get with Aiden? Of all people."

"Is that what this is all about? God, Spencer!" Her head leaned back a bit as her eyes closed momentarily. She could see now how the brunette was looking in every direction as she spoke. "You're acting like I'm committing some crime! Like I did something wrong. What, because I got into a relationship with someone? Is that what it is?"

She couldn't hold it in any longer. "No! Because you got in a relationship with _Aiden_…and you didn't even tell me."

"I didn't know I _had_ to tell you! I didn't think you wanted to know, I mean you don't really act all that excited when I do talk about it."

"Because it's hard for me! Can't you at least see that?" There was no response. "And no, you don't _have_ to tell me you have a boyfriend now but it would've been nice to know before witnessing you two eating each others faces off in the middle of the quad!"

Ashley's jaw dropped even farther as her hands smacked incredulously against her sides. "If I tell you, you act like you don't like it or don't care. If I don't tell you, then you're still pissed off about it. What do you want!"

She was on the verge of answering that one question, the answering dangling from the tip of her tongue. But it would stay there at least for a little while longer.

"Don't make me spell it out for you. Can you honestly tell me you don't get it?"

Her eyes kept searching for an answer in the blonde that she couldn't seem to find.

"No, Spencer! I dunno what it is I'm supposed to get. I'm really confused. I mean…..is it Aiden? Do you….do you like Aiden or something?"

Disgust wasn't even the word to describe the expression on her face. "Gosh no." She wanted to say it, but there was just that one thought that once she said it, there was no going back from it that was keeping her from just baring it all out there. "Why did you come here today, Ashley? Really, why?"

Their tone's seemed to have calmed down but the intensity was still all there.

"I asked you first."

They hadn't moved from the rooted spots on the tiled floor. Spencer watched the brunette soften as she waited for an answer. Another sigh escaped through her lips as she tried to focus on another point in the room besides Ashley.

"No, I don't like Aiden."

"We've established that already."

"Then answer my question."

There was a moment, a long pause between them that Spencer was sure her heart could be heard thumping against her ribcage. Now it was Ashley's turn to find another place to focus on as she spoke.

"I came…" She stopped shortly, taking a few seconds to cast her eyes down at her feet before looking back up at the blonde in front of her. The most vulnerable state she had ever seen her. "I came to see you. To see if you were ok."

There was a definite feeling of disappointment in the blonde's voice. "That's all?"

"Is there supposed to be more?"

It was Spencer's head that dropped this time, her eyes watching her feet as her hands dug themselves in her back pockets. "Guess not."

Ashley watched silently as things calmed between them. There was still something that was itching at her to scratch and she knew she wouldn't get an answer any other time but now.

"That still doesn't explain why you were being such a bitch to me today."

"What?" Her head rose up slightly, tilting to the side.

"You don't like Aiden but then why were you so off today? Why were you just avoiding me at every turn?"

"Jeez, I wasn't avoiding you, I was just-"

"Just what? Just ignoring me? Pushing me to the side? What?"

"I was trying to stop myself from telling you the truth, Ashley!" The words tumbled out of her mouth before she had a chance to stop them. She knew she was crossing that line she had been trying so desperately not to cross but here she was, practically straddling it.

Ashley looked at the blonde, her eyebrows creased, waiting for an explanation. "What truth?"

It was going to come out quickly, like ripping off a bandaid."That _you're_ the one I like. You're the one I've been having feelings for all this time. I can't talk to you about Aiden because it kills me to watch you get close to him, see him do all the things I wish I could do with you….to you. You have no idea how long it took for me –"

The rest of her words were muffled as Ashley pressed her lips soundly against Spencer's. Her hands held onto the front of the blonde's shirt, gripping it tightly as she tilt her head slowly, feeling Spencer's lips on hers for the second time. Spencer's senses died for a few seconds, accustoming themselves to the reality of the situation, one she had been dreaming about for the better part of a year now. Her hands found their place on the brunette's sides, sliding up and around her back, pressing her closer.

They both felt the other relax into each other, deepening their kiss that much more as their hands found their way to the other's face and hair. Feeling what had been denied of them for so long.

Everything and everyone else was forgotten in this moment. Nothing else could be heard from them. It wasn't until then that they had reached a comfortable silence.

--


	15. Chapter 15

--

So we've reached the season arc. Its sweeps week and the couple everyone's been practically dying, begging – on the verge of mailing the writers in unadulterated annoyance - to have get together finally have their moment. The kiss. The long, angsty kiss that's full of everything the other could possibly give.

Neither girl had let go yet. Their fingers finding ways to dance across silky smooth cheeks, leading trails on the others face leading to thread through loose strands of hair. Nothing could be heard in the room but their harsh nasal pants. Ashley entangled her fingers through Spencer's long, blonde locks, bringing her hand to make a fist as she pushed her that much closer. Deepening their kiss any way she could.

They stayed that way for what felt like hours, letting everything go, putting it all out there for the other to feel…to taste. Everything slowed down a bit before they stilled their lips, letting things calm down – knowing it could get very heated at any moment. Spencer felt her lips slip from in between Ashley's, pressing her forehead against the brunette's…her eyes still closed. She couldn't bring herself to open them because if she opened them and found herself to be laying on her bed, staring up at her plain, cream ceiling again…she just might go ahead and do a _Virgin Suicides_.

It just all felt so real. It couldn't be something she made up. Not even her daydreams or actual conversations with the brunette felt as real as this felt right now.

That first kiss was so good but this…this was just beyond. Random series of images flashed through Spencer's mind, one in particular sticking out. Especially when she could feel the pressure of Ashley's head resting on her own, her breath warming up the blonde's cheeks while cooling her already swelling lips. She wasn't sure how it came out but she could hear some kind of noise coming from her mouth.

"That…that was…"

"Hmm…"Spencer still hadn't opened her eyes as she felt Ashley's voice vibrate against her forehead. It wasn't until she felt the distance between them that she raised her head slightly, looking at the brunette. "Wrong."

Confused wasn't the word for it. More like baffled. Her eyebrows creased as she looked at Ashley's eyes turn from something completely different to what looked like scared for her life.

"What?"

Her hands were still cradling the blonde's face.

"That was wrong. _So_ wrong, Spencer." She let go suddenly, taking a step back, cutting off all contact between them.

Spencer didn't move but held on with her hands as long as she could. "W- what do you mean it was _wrong_? No. No, that was amazi-"

"No!" Her hands rose, running through her auburn curls, leaving Spencer completely. "Spencer, that's not how it was supposed to happen."

Everything was happening so fast that she was a bit lost still. Still caught up in her heady feeling from the intense kiss they just shared not four seconds ago. "How was it supposed to happen then? Who even cares how it happens, Ashley. It happened!"

"No, Spencer! That's…this isn't how _this_," she wagged her finger between them, "was supposed to happen. You don't even know who you are or what you want, and I'm…I have a…"

This was really not the kind of reaction she should've been having. At all.

"I might not know who I am but I know what I want. I have for a long time now." She took a step further, hesitating before softly cradling the brunette's guilt stricken face between her hands. "I want you, Ashley. I always have. It's taken me so long to say it but I do…I want yo-"

"Spencer." She didn't move, she didn't push the blonde away. Her eyes said it all for her. "I'm with someone. You…" Spencer couldn't tell in the dark but it sounded like her voice was cracking and she wasn't too sure if the change in brunette's tilt was to hide her tears. "You're too late."

Her hands dropped on their own as she moved a step back. Was this really happening? Is this how their second kiss was really supposed to play out?

"So that's it? You're just gonna pretend like it never happened? Go back to how we were?"

The tears hiding in Spencer's eyes were threatening her with some serious explosives. They were going to come down, no matter what.

"I'm gonna go downstairs."

That wasn't an answer but then again, was she really expecting one? Her questions were pretty rhetoric but she still wanted an answer. Any answer. Before she could reply, Ashley opened the door and stepped out making her way to the stairs. Spencer stood there for a few more minutes, wiping the tears that were now running down her cheeks before she leaned down to get the flashlights out of the sink cabinet and heading downstairs. Now with some kind of a guide.

When she got downstairs, she could see her father setting up on flashlight on the table as a lamp, sort of, while he guided himself with another. Clay and Glen sharing another flashlight. She turned and found Ashley hugging herself by the entrance to the kitchen. Her back was towards the blonde so she couldn't see what she was doing but from what she _could_ see, there wasn't much movement going on.

"Dude, we should so play light tag! I would annihilate all of you so lovely!"

Clay yanked the light from his brother's hand. "Only you would think of playing around at a time like this.

Spencer could see Glen's hands shoot up in the air, "Chill out, dude. Just cause you're still afraid of the dark doesn't mean the world's gonna end any time soon."

She couldn't help but roll her eyes at them. They really never did change. Or grow up. Well maybe Clay did but Glen...never. Just as everything calmed down and got back to being quiet…

Something banged against the door, startling everyone in the darkened house. Mr. Carlin put his finger up to his mouth, telling everyone to stay quiet as he grabbed a bat lying carelessly by the stairs closet and moved quietly towards the door. Peeking through the curtain, he visibly relaxed, lowering the bat.

"It's just Aiden."

He opened the door quickly letting the tall jock inside. He was still in his basketball shorts, jersey and sneakers, looking like he just ran over from practice.

"Hey, Mr. Carlin, is Ashley here?"

"Right here."

She spoke for the first time since coming down from the bathroom. Aiden walked in, giving Spencer a quick hug on the way, that she didn't quite return, before he walked over towards Ashley – hugging her tightly.

He whispered something to her that couldn't really be heard, just in mumbles, but it didn't stop Spencer from watching them out of the corner of her eye. The one that was glowing green in the dark right now.

"You ok? You sure?"

Ashley didn't really hug back either but just stood there, uncomfortably as his arm wrapped around her shoulders protectively.

"It's a blackout, Aiden. Not an attack on the city. I think I'm pretty ok."

"Just wanting to know that you're ok…I was scared."

Her eyes rolled on their own. Spencer's had been rolling since he came in the door.

"Did you drive here Aiden?"

Leave it to Papa Carlin to spark some kind of level conversation.

"Yeah, I tried to leave practice early but with everything being down, it took a little longer than I thought."

They kept having their conversation as Spencer watched Ashley not look at her. Not even raise her head to possibly be in the same tunnel of vision. Her eyes kept jumping from the brunette to the arm draped across her shoulders, to the hand gently massaging her shoulder, to who the hand was connected to.

Sucked wasn't the word. More like if it was any worse, it'd be like Grease 2...on repeat.

Somehow, their conversation just came right back from being on mute for a few minutes. "But yeah, I think I should be heading home. I can drop you off on the way, Ash."

"I drove here."

Her eyes didn't meet anyone as she spoke. He shrugged softly at her answer as he looked up at Spencer.

"That's cool. I don't think Spence would mind keeping your car here till tomorrow? Huh, Spence?"

Great. Now she had a reason to see the brunette again tomorrow. She wasn't so sure she wanted to see _anyone_ after tonight. She couldn't quite find her voice yet so she just nodded slowly.

"Cool!"

He was looking around the living room and hallway, seeming to wonder what was happening before the lights went out. Ashley still hadn't looked directly at someone, completely avoiding contact with anyone while Spencer was trying her hardest to catch a look, anything to get her attention.

Aiden, still with his arm around the weirdly quiet brunette, leaned to kiss the side of her head softly before leading her out the door towards his jeep. He waved a goodbye to everyone as they walked to his car. Spencer walked after them to her door, her body pressed against the edge of her door as she was slowly pushing it to close. It wasn't until she saw him lean down and place a soft, chaste kiss on her lips that she felt it. Her head hung limply between her shoulders as she looked up once more, seeing Ashley just stand there, not kissing back but waiting to get in the car. As she opened the door, she looked back, finally locking eyes with the blonde, before sitting and closing the door.

Spencer didn't wait until she heard the car door slam. Her door had already closed.

--


	16. Chapter 16

--

When it came to trying to avoid people, or a person, Spencer was the worst.

She did everything from staying home and sulking, avoiding her phone, to going with Clay to his Mathletes meeting – which she hated even more because of Mr. Hogan. She watched Glen practice his game at a nearby park with some of the kids already playing, even went on a double date with him, his current cheerleader conquest and her brother, who had the mental maturity of an orange. She even visited her parents separate jobs under the excuse that they were "fascinating" and she just had to know how everything works.

Two weeks of trying her best to avoid a certain couple and it was exhausting.

More so because she had never been so bored in her life. And boredom only made her think even more about everything she was trying not to think of.

Her parents had gone to asking her what was wrong, that her excuse of wanting to spend more time with them means one of two things. That she needed some money or she was pregnant. Since it was neither, they just kept to humoring her for the time being. She wasn't sure if it was a good or bad sign that they didn't think anything of her relationship with Ashley but at the same time thought she might be that much like Glen that she'd have one of _those_ problems.

She stood in the doorway of the cafeteria leading to the quad, her tray in her hands, her eyes scanning for a familiar jetblack spiked head or shapely curls. When she couldn't spot them, she looked around for either one of her brothers. It didn't matter if she'd be mortally grossed out by Glen's fratboy-esque friends or bored to tears by Clay's Math geeks, but anything was better than sitting alone at this point. She needed a focal point of some kind. Focal points didn't come from solitude.

"Spencer! Hey, come over!"

When she turned to look, her tray almost fell. There sat Aiden waving her over with a particularly unhappy looking brunette sitting next to him.

Since they saw her, it wasn't like she could just ignore them. Trudging her way over, Spencer sat quietly down across from them, nodding her hellos with an almost invisible smile on her lips. Ashley didn't maintain eye contact but instead washed her eyes over the blonde. Spencer didn't quite know how to take that so she tried to ignore it.

Aiden was smiling from ear to ear, seemingly oblivious of the tension settling in on them.

"Hey Spence, where you been hiding? I feel like it's been years since I saw you last."

Her eyes shifted from him to the brunette to her tray and back. "Oh, you know, just been around."

She didn't catch that weird little look Ashley gave her before concentrating on the tree somewhere off growing somewhere in the grass. She didn't.

"Well you should be around here more." He gestured in a circle towards them. All she could think to say was _no thank you. I don't like the taste of bile_. "I miss you."

When he said that, it was almost too hard not to reach over and hug him. His eyes smiled at her and she could feel hers start to burn a bit; those tears would come soon if she didn't stop. She smiled at him, fully this time, and quickly switched the subject.

"So…how have you been?"

"I've been good. Real good." His hand snaked around to intertwine his fingers with Ashley's. Spencer followed every move, her chest beginning to cave as she tried to avoid the brunette's perplexed gaze. She tried her best not to stare but it was getting hard, turning her face towards where the wind blew so it'd dry up her tears before they could even really fall.

Really, he had all right to be happy but did he have to rub it in like that?

"Looks like it."

She gave him that small half smile she gave him earlier. He smiled back, watching her keep fidgeting in her seat, hardly speaking, hardly looking at either one of them. Looking over to the girl on his side, checking if she noticed the change as well, she looked like a reflection of Spencer. Fidgeting all over the place, staring out into space while twirling a lock of hair with her finger.

"Uhh, ok…what's the joke? What am I not getting?"

Spencer looked back up to him, sure her cover was blown. "What are you talking about?"

He kept looking between her and Ashley, gesturing with his fingers between them. "You two. You're weird. _Quiet_."

She shrugged while trying to avoid looking towards the brunette. "So?"

"So? _So_ Ashley's never quiet. Ever. I don't think I've ever known a time when she wasn't ranting about something." He smiled softly at the blonde as she didn't respond but kept herself still.

It was like a reflex, his arm just moved over to wrap around the brunette's shoulders, their hands still linked. Ashley didn't look comfortable but she didn't stop it either. Her eyes never looking up but out – towards anything or anyone but the blonde across the table. Spencer watched Aiden rub her shoulder softly, his free hand moving towards Ashley's face, caressing her cheek with his thumb. She could hear him ask her if she was ok, comforting her.

At this point, Spencer wasn't sure if she was running away because of the scene she just witnessed or that her stomach was heaving her food up or that she just didn't want to break down in front of questioning eyes.

It wasn't until she reached the bathroom that she stopped, grabbing hold of herself on the sink. Washing her face three of four times in cold water before drying with those rough, cheap paper towels schools loved to buy.

"Spencer."

Without turning, she wiped her eyes and looked in the mirror finding Ashley standing there behind her.

"Spencer, we need to talk."

Concentrating on drying her hands, she kept her gaze on the sink and her hands above it.

"There's nothing to talk about, Ashley. Just… leave me alone."

"You know me, you know I'm not gonna leave."

She was right. She knew who she was. And just the same, Spencer knew herself and she knew that even with all the will power she could have, resisting the urge to kiss or smack or hug the brunette would overwhelm her.

Ok maybe not smack. But yell at, definitely.

"Fine. Do what you want."

Spencer turned around to leave, Ashley blocking her way. Ashley knew her and knew that the blonde would never actually hit her or use some kind of physical violence but she was braced for anything. She tried to hold onto Spencer's arms to still her but the girl pushed her away.

"I really don't wanna talk, Ashley."

Ashley stood her ground. "I know but we need to."

"No. We don't."

Spencer tried to dodge her to get away; this time Ashley didn't care whether she pushed her away or not. She took hold of the blonde's arms, holding her in place.

"Spencer, stop. I know you're pissed off but we need to talk. I hate having things the way they are with us."

This time, Spencer didn't shrug her away but stared at the brunette dead on. "You wanna talk so things could go back to the way they were, right? Back when we were just flirting but never took it further? Back when you didn't know how I really feel?"

"No. Back when it didn't hurt me to see you because I couldn't look at you without feeling guilty or…"

"We can't go back there, Ashley."

Her hands slipped a bit, her grip loosening. "Why not?"

Voices began to rise between them. "Because _I_ can't go back to that. I can't go back to just being your friend and hiding my feelings because…becau-"

Ashley's hands left Spencer's arms and body completely.

"Because what? This is exactly what we need to talk about. You're telling me you can't go back to just being my friend and hiding your feelings but you still won't tell me what you feel. And when you do, it's when it's too late. When I'm trying to be happy with someone el-"

"Oh is that what you're trying to do? Be happy? Because it looks a lot more like settling."

Spencer had flair in her voice she had no idea of where it came from. But for as much flair as she had or how much higher she rose, Ashley was right there to compete.

"Yeah, you'd know a lot about settling, now wouldn't you."

Her shoulders squared as she stared at the brunette, her eyebrows creasing. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Ashley stared back, her expression cold while her eyes were all the contrary. "You know exactly what I mean. You settle all the time, sitting on your feelings, never telling me anything until it was too late. Until I moved on –"

"And you just had to move on now? And move on to Aiden?"

"Who cares who I moved on to!? I _moved_. I had to!"

"Why?" Her heart was racing, pumping in her ears as she spoke. She started not wanting to have this conversation and now, she couldn't bring herself to leave.

Ashley's eyes glittered as the light hit her. Spencer couldn't tell if it was just her eyes or if she had tears she was trying to hold back.

"Because!" There was something there that she wasn't saying. Something she was holding back.

"Because what, Ashley?" Spencer wasn't going to leave it hanging like she did last time. She couldn't keep it just in the air any longer.

Ashley stood there, staring into the blonde's azure eyes, her body unmoving. It was official. Those were tears in her eyes. There was no doubt about it. Spencer didn't know how to feel about seeing the brunette cry, especially in the vicinity they were locked in. It felt like they were locked in that position for quite a while, just staring at each other – Spencer waiting for a response, Ashley standing in silence.

Without notice or any kind of indication, Ashley closed the distance, grabbing the blonde's unsuspecting face and kissing her firmly. For the second time, Ashley pressed her lips against Spencer's in a bathroom. Deepening their kiss in seconds with her hands running from her cheeks, up her hair. One hand sliding down the blonde's side as Spencer tried to find what to do with her own hands. She really was caught so off guard. Of course, she kissed the brunette back as passionately as she could, but the rest of her body was left in shock. One minute they were yelling at one another, the next, they were stuck in full makeout.

Things kept passing through her mind as she felt Ashley's hands thread through her hair, and push her closer. Everything from their first kiss, their moments spent in comfortable silence together, the tension between them building up to their second kiss and everything that happened after that. Her hands moved on their own, pushing the brunette back, separating them completely. Ashley's eyes kept closed before looking towards Spencer in confusion.

"What-"

Taking a step back, Spencer shook her head before she spoke. She didn't know why her head was shaking but it was. "No. You can't keep doing this to me."

Ashley's voice sounded so far away. "Doing what?"

"Doing this. Kissing me in bathrooms and then telling me later that you can't do this because I'm too late. You can't keep kissing me and then rip it all away from me afterwards. It doesn't work like that, Ashley."

Her head hung softly. "I know. I know I shouldn't have kissed you but…God, Spencer! Why couldn't you have said all this before? Why did it have to come now, huh? Why now? You were so completely fine before I got with Aiden." The anger in her voice came back. "So excuse me for being a little pissed off that as soon as I'm with someone else, you all of a sudden find out what you want."

"It's not all of a sudden, though, Ashley! Do you know how many times I wanted to tell you? How many times I-"

"Then why didn't you!"

"Because there was always something holding me back until now!"

Now everything came back, all the noise, all the frustration. "Then what the hell makes now so special?"

She wanted to let it out but at the same time, she knew it wasn't her secret to tell either. It was both hers and Aiden's. And as much as she wasn't happy with their relationship, she already betrayed him enough. Adding this on would just destroy her.

"I dunno. It's just…different."

Ashley's hand ran through her hair, trying to find something to say while the blonde across from her stood there watching.

"Look, the fact is –"

"Wait." Something suddenly dawned on her in that moment. She felt so stupid for not realizing it before but with everything happening between them, she didn't want to dwell on what she should be feeling. "You kissed me, Ashley. You kissed _me_. Twice now. Why didn't you do it before? Why did you wait so long to finally do it?"

The brunette wasn't prepared to answer those kinds of questions and didn't expect to be asked so quickly. "Oh don't give me that, Spencer. You told me you didn't feel the same for me when we kissed the first time. You were the one who kept holding back. Don't pin this on me when it was your own shit that kept this from happening-"

"I'm not trying to pin this on you but if you felt the same way, why didn't you tell me first?"

"Why didn't _you_? Why did you let Aiden write those letters to me because yeah, I know you knew he was writing them, he told-"

"He didn't even write those letters! I did!"

And there it was. She hadn't realized what she said until it waved in the air between them. There was nothing she could do now about it but own up to it and accept what was going to come. Ashley stopped and just stared. Her eyes unreadable.

"What?" She asked kind quietly, her hand still stuck in her hair as she stared at the blonde.

There was nothing else to do but go ahead. "Yeah, those letters, all of them, I wrote them. For him."

And before she could say anything else, Ashley was walking out of the bathroom leaving Spencer standing there, alone.

--


	17. Chapter 17

--

"_Lemme borrow that top. That's a really cute top. That's such a cute top. I wanna borrow it. Lemme borrow that top._"

"Dude, that chick is _so_ hot."

"That's a guy, dude."

"Not _her_, dingass. The chick with the top."

Spencer couldn't believe _this_ was what her afternoon became. Sitting in her living room, with two of Glen's strap friends monkeying it all over the game they were playing on his Xbox. Then on the other side of the couch was Spencer, stuck in an Abercrombie reject ad with her laptop sitting on the table and Glen and his friends surrounding her laughing at the video playing.

"_Aren't we friends? So what's the problem? Lemme borrow that fucking top! Don't be a betch._"

It was so disturbing to watch her brother and his friends all singing in weird manly girl voices and dancing along to a techno beat. There was something about the entire homoeroticism of it all that amazed her.

"Dude, this is like the best thing ever!"

And apparently their favorite word was dude.

When the doorbell rang, she knew she believed that there definitely must be a God that loves her. Closing the laptop, only to hear a bunch of grunts from the disappointed boys surrounding her, she got up to answer the door. Glen moved over, turned the computer back on and sat in her spot, watching her walk away.

"_I'm gonna betch slap the dumb outta you!_"

It was like nothing she'd ever seen. There was nothing she could even think to say so she rolled her eyes and walked over to the door to open and find Aiden standing there.

"How could you do that to me, Spencer!" He didn't even wait for her response to step inside.

She knew exactly what he was talking about so there was no need to play dumb and really, she didn't even have the energy to argue.

"I'm sorr-"

"No, dude!" There went that word again, "How could you do that to me?! I thought you were my friend! I thought I could trust you!"

"I know but I had to."

Luckily Glen and his friends were loud enough to drown out their noise but Spencer could hear perfectly well what her friend was saying….or yelling. She almost wished she couldn't hear it.

"Why? Why did you have to? What the hell made it so important that you just had to tell her about the letters?!"

He was getting loud and as much as she understood why he was so upset, really, in that moment she was the victim here. And her anger was beginning to boil up in her again, as I did earlier that day.

"Aiden, I really don't wanna get into this right now. Look, we can talk later when we're calm…not no-"

"I wanna know why! I wanna know what the hell was running through your mind when you decided to tell her the tru-"

"Because I love her, ok!"

There sat a silence in both rooms right then. She wasn't sure why she couldn't hear the animals in the next room but there was no sound coming from anywhere. Aiden watched the blonde in front of him. Reality seemed to dawn on him slowly.

"What do you mean you love her?"

Spencer's head tilted a bit, her eyes washing over his face before gazing at the floor. He followed her eyes and her head and her hands and knew the answer to his own question.

And it made sense.

"Like...I _love _her."

It wasn't a question. It was the truth.

She nodded her head slowly at him, her eyes roaming up his body to meet his.

"Why didn't you tell me anything? Why didn't you say anything?"

Unmoving, she stared at him, her hands fidgeting. There was no real answer she could give him, or Ashley, for that matter but it never made her feel any better knowing that.

"Aiden. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. I was just…I was just scared."

"Yeah. So scared. So fucking scared that you help me only to knock me down later, right."

Hearing him curse at her was like receiving a smack to the face. It was few times he ever really used strong profanity but when he did, she knew he was really upset. And as much as she could feel guilty, that anger that was boiling before came back.

"Don't. Don't even. Because it was you who asked me to help _you_, remember? You pulled me into this. I didn't run up to you and ask you to let me write love letters to her. You did thi-"

"Yeah, _I _asked you to write the letters for me but never did I tell you to lie to me! I didn't put a gun to your head and make you write the letters!"

"Might as well have!"

"Whatever, Spencer. If you told me you liked her, I would've backed off. I would've because guess what, that's what friends do. But you didn't tell me anything! You acted like it was all good and when I get the girl, you wanna decide then that it's right to rip it away from me."

"That's not even how it was and you know it."

Her voice was shaking as she spoke. She felt like she was swallowing a bag of needles with the sharp pain in her throat.

"If that's what you wanna believe, go ahead. But I'm done with this."

His eyes sparkled as the light coming through the windows hit them. She couldn't tell if he had tears forming or if he was that angry that his face was reddening. Spencer just stared up at him, telling him what she needed to hoping he could understand.

"Aiden…"

His large hand shot up to silence her quickly. Casting his eyes down towards the floor, Aiden began walking back towards the door, Spencer letting him pass without turning. The tears she was trying to hold slowly coming down, silently.

The door closed again behind her and she stood there, processing it all. The two things she didn't want to do all along happened in the span of a few hours. Feeling like she lost her strongest relationships one right after the other.

Taking her first step towards the living room once again, Spencer was met with an entirely silent room, video and game on pause and everyone watching her. And as quickly as she could blink, everything resumed back to its noisy normality. Her brother going back to singing along with the video playing as his friends provided backup vocals and laughter as the game being played roared over them.

Rolling her eyes once again, Spencer turned around and walked up towards her room, closing the door behind her. She flopped down on her bed, something she'd been doing a lot lately. Grabbing the bright orange pillow lying in the middle of her bed, she hugged it against her chest and watched the ceiling above her. Her entire day flashing on the pastel painted ceiling.

At this point, the season finale to her story wasn't looking to be a good one.

--


	18. Chapter 18

--

The car wouldn't start. It was, like, four in the afternoon and the car had stopped in the middle of the road. Steaming from the engine a bit before it just broke down. Her phone had literally been living on its last leg of battery so calling someone was out of the question. And even if she could call someone, no one was available because the truth was, even she didn't really know where she was.

Spencer was stuck in some street she didn't even know at the random hour of four in the afternoon with no way to really know how to get back home.

Her hand was tangled in her hair, loose strands blowing slightly from the wind creeping in through the half opened window. Her elbow rested on the window sill as she just stared at the windshield. How did her life get so much more complicated in so little time? How was it humanly possible?

In the span of a couple of weeks, she went from being the friend who was in love with their best friend to being the backstabbing whore who was breaking up her best friend's relationship. Everyone was blaming her for it. If she would've just told the truth from the beginning, none of this would've happened but they didn't have to rub it in her face that it was her fault. C'mon. They had their own little faults in this too.

The little triangle she was in was worse than the Bermuda one that everyone was so scared about. This one actually sucks you into it and never lets you get out.

And then you're stuck in this limbo.

Spencer hadn't spoken to Ashley in about three or four days, she lost count somewhere of how long. Aiden, she hadn't spoken to after he left her house. There were definite moments that she had held onto her phone and wondered if she should text or dial the numbers but at the same time, what would she say….she had no idea what to say on the off chance they did answer the phone.

What could she say, really? She was pretty sure neither of them wanted to really know about her at this point. And even if it did make her upset that they were so hard headed and putting all the blame on her, she couldn't deny she did deserve some of it. She _could've_ told Aiden no from the beginning. She _could've_ told Ashley the truth from the beginning. The fact that she didn't do those things made her feel this was more her own fault than theirs.

Her heart, and body, jumped when the loud knock on the window hit against her ear. Looking up, she saw Ashley, of all people standing there. Wasting no time, the brunette walked over to the passenger side as Spencer unlocked the door and let her come in to sit. When she sat, she didn't look at the blonde but instead kept her eyes out on the road.

"What are you doing here?"

Spencer looked from the road towards the brunette, not really sure which one to stare at.

"My car died. What are _you _doing here?"

"You're in front of my house."

Turning to look around her for the first time she could remember since stopping on this road, and in fact, it was her house. Well at least it was the gates leading to her house.

"Oh."

She couldn't come up with anything else to say. It was like a mixture of feeling stupid and just embarrassed. Luckily Ashley wasn't looking at her to see her head hang in embarrassment. Her eyes kept bouncing from looking at the street ahead of her to the girl next to her to the gated mansion she hadn't even noticed when her car broke down earlier.

"Um…"

The silence between them was so uncomfortable. The only other time she could remember it being this quiet between them was when they had decided to have a staring contest because according to Ashley, Spencer blinked too much.

"You wanna call your dad?"

She didn't sound upset or annoyed when she asked but there was still a discomfort to the brunette's voice that really chilled Spencer.

"Sure…"

Ashley offered her phone over to the girl beside her, keeping her eyes on everything else around her. Everything but Spencer. Not really knowing what to do, she took the phone from the brunette cautiously, looking down at the numbers. She pressed her fingers against the dials to her father's cell number, the first ring filling up the space in the small car until she closed the phone before anyone could pick up on the other end.

"Why did you come out here?"

Turning slowly to face the blonde directly, her eyebrows creased slightly as she let her eyes roam over the girl.

"What?"

"You heard me."

There wasn't attitude or annoyance in her voice but there was a kind of determination that Ashley had hardly ever heard in the blonde's voice.

"Because Javier said there was a car parked outside that looked like your car-"

"You're not answering my question."

Ashley looked on in complete confusion, not really knowing what the answer was supposed to be.

"I _just_ answered your question."

"No, you said Javier told you my car was out there. You could've sent him to handle it but you came out, knowing it was me. Why?"

She seemed to actually be stuck in her answer. Spencer wasn't sure if it was that she didn't really have an answer or was trying to think of a good enough excuse to cover it up. "Because?"

"That's not an answer."

"Shit, Spencer! I didn't know I was on Jeapordy. I just came outside to see what was wrong, that's it."

Her voice rose quickly as she answered, eyes hardening slightly while keeping her eyes on the other girl.

Spencer watched her, sincerely surprised and confused.

"Fine. Whatever."

Never raising her voice any higher, Spencer just turned back to sit correctly, staring out the window on her side, her hand coming up to rest in her hair as her elbow rested on the window this time. She opened the cell phone again about to press the numbers again. The voice coming from the other side of the car stopped her.

"Look, I just came to see if you were ok and why you were parked out in front of my house."

She turned to look at the brunette, who was staring out at something through the window on her side.

"Oh." Her stare never faltered. "I wouldn't think you'd wanna see me right now."

"Me neither." Ashley didn't move either.

Eyes rolling, her head shaking, Spencer turned back to check her window once more trying to calm herself but she could feel herself getting angry.

"You know, I'm getting kinda tired of getting all the blame from you _and_ Aiden." Ashley's head whipped around to take on the blonde. Spencer staring back, her voice rising slightly. "I messed up, I know it. At least I recognize it. Both of you are acting like you're saints in all this-"

"You lied to me about how you felt!"

"So did you!"

"Because I thought you didn't like me!"

"You could've still said _something_!"

Their voices began competing against the others, to see which could be louder. They both fell into silence for a second, staring at one another, Spencer's heart beating against her chest wildly and she had no idea why it was but she couldn't stop it.

Without warning, Ashley leaned in quickly; grabbing the blonde's shirt collar to pull her in but Spencer stopped her. Grasping the brunette's hand, pulling her away gently while pulling her head back.

"No. That's not how this is gonna go again. Every time we kiss, it leaves us even worse than we are now. We can't solve everything like tha-"

"Ok ok." It seemed like she was a bit embarrassed to be rejected even if she knew Spencer didn't do it maliciously. She resumed her stare out towards the road in front of them. "So what? What now?"

She was a bit thrown by the question but it didn't stop her from wondering about the answer to her own question.

"Did you tell Aiden about us?"

"What do you mean?" Ashley concentrated on playing with the lock of the glove compartment.

"About our…about us – the kissing?"

She took her time to answer and when she did, it just came as a head shake. Spencer didn't really know how to take that. Whether she was disappointed that the brunette didn't go into details about what had happened between them or if she was happy that he didn't know. She watched Ashley scratch at the lock of the compartment.

"Why not?"

Again, she didn't answer quickly. And again, she didn't' answer audibly. She just shrugged her shoulders leaving the blonde the same. Spencer sat back against the back of her chair, running her hands over the steering wheel.

They sat in silence, each one trying not to look at the other or say the first word. Spencer's chair kept making those weird fart noises every time she moved which she couldn't see but the smirk that hadn't been seen on the brunette's face was slipping back on her lips. Sitting back against her seat finally, she let her hands run up and down the sides of the steering wheel.

"At least the wind didn't jump out in front of me this time."

A small snicker escaped from the brunette followed by Spencer's. They didn't know when it happened but soon enough they were sitting there just giggling at one another.

And neither girl really minded. Spencer's head laid against back on her chair, rolling onto its side to watch Ashley as their laughter died down.

"I missed you."

She watched the brunette's soft giggles get quieter, her eyes finding Spencer's, seeing she was being so honest. Of course, Ashley Davies never blushes but she definitely got stunningly shy when the time was right. Her head ducked a bit, eyes roaming over the blonde while her head imitated Spencer's.

"Me too."

They sat there looking at one another, silent all over again. This time they weren't finding things to look at, instead focused on each other, like they wanted to. That smirk that hadn't appeared in a while ghosted over the brunette's lips as she began to speak.

"Why did you write the letters?"

She wasn't really ready to answer that question yet but then again, how many other things hadn't she been ready to do in the past couple of weeks and had to do anyway. Taking a deep breath, Spencer watched as Ashley listened intently to her every word.

Just like she used to.

"Because it was the closest way I could get to telling you without _actually_ telling you."

The smile on her lips let Spencer know she approved. "That's such a good line. You're still a punk but…good line."

Joining in with her own small smile, "Aww, but you love this punk."

She didn't say anything back. No yes or no. She just kept her eyes trained on the girl sitting beside her. The small, knowing smirk on her lips never left and Spencer couldn't hold it back any longer. Linking their pinkies together silently, she leaned over and kissed her. Her free hand found its way up to russet curls as she held onto Ashley, giving into the kiss fully. As the kiss deepened, she could hear the small sigh from the brunette. Something about this was so much more. She couldn't tell what it was, whether it was that there were no secrets she was holding back any longer or that it was finally her lips finding Ashley's instead of the other way around but it felt like so much more to her.

And she knew Ashley felt it too.

As the brunette's hand slid up Spencer's side, reaching up to tangle itself in her hair, the second knock of the day came against the window making both girls jump slightly while losing contact.

Turned to check who it was, they found Javier standing there.

"Señorita Ashley, el señor Aiden is on the phone for you."

Her eyes were wide and breath heavy as she looked from Spencer back to the gardener and back to the blonde. Nodding understandably, Spencer let her go gently, watching her step out of the car to head back through the gates to get the phone. She sat back, feeling her lips still tingle from the kiss she just shared. There was something almost unbelievable about it all when she sat back and tried to rewind everything that just happened in the car.

As she sat there, smiling stupidly, the time went by and she remembered that she had to get back home. She felt around her seat to find Ashley's forgotten cell phone and dialed her father's number again. He picked up after the second ring and agreed to come pick her up.

She tossed the phone back over the passenger side, her smile slipping back on her lips, remembering who was sitting there last and what they had been doing. No matter what happened with them after this, even if nothing happens…there was nothing that could take away the feeling she now had of knowing how it was to be the one to kiss Ashley.

And that was good. Really good.

--


	19. Chapter 19

--

"And that's how I defeated the huge apocalyptic whale that attacked the city, but that wasn't before I saved your mother from a huge tower –"

Spencer giggled at her father. "Yeah, like _that's_ how it really happened."

He smiled at her from across the dining room table, their twin mugs sitting between them. Cranapple was such a divine drink, people just didn't know. And she liked it better that way. It made moments like these that much more special.

"Whatever happened to the days when I could tell you anything and you'd believe me?"

His warm smile made her smile as she sat her chin on one hand while the other traced the rim of her mug.

"They disappeared along with your dragon slaying skills."

They shared a quick laugh as they sat there with their mugs, Arthur mimicking his daughter's pose. He watched her, knowing his daughter too well. That quiet way she could smile and it'd still be sad. She never knew how expressive her silence was but usually people never took the time to notice.

"So, honey, you still going to school, right?"

She didn't look up at him but instead kept her eyes on the mug in front of her but the smile playing on her lips let him know she heard him.

"Yes, I'm going. What about you?"

"Oh, I graduated."

It really was hard not to laugh with him.

"I mean work. You're usually not off so early."

He grabbed onto the mug with both hands, bringing it up to take a sip before setting it back on the table and leaning a bit on his elbows. It was so incredible how children reflected their parents. He could swear looking at Spencer sitting there now that he was looking at a sixteen year old Paula. The same hair, the same eyes, the same quiet intensity.

"Yeah well…since I'm such a good guy, they decided to give me the rest of the day off. Plus half the staff has the flu and can't work anyway. I guess I just lucked out."

Arthur sat back a bit, still watching his daughter sit silently playing with her cup.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

The truth was nothing was _really _wrong at the moment. Unless you count that she had admitted her feelings to the one girl she ever really had feelings for and it pretty much ruined their friendship along with her and Aiden's friendship – who she still hadn't spoken to. She had sat in bed for hours after she came home that night after seeing Ashley and finally kissing her. At last to be the one to kiss the brunette instead of being the one to be kissed all the time. There was a weird kind of empowerment in knowing that she did it.

Somewhere along the way of being all giddy about that kiss and everything it could mean, the reminder that Aiden was still very much an unfinished factor in their triangle came back. The phone call that sent Javier to kill their moment definitely took its time to resonate in her mind.

What did it mean? She wasn't sure. Were they still together? Was he just calling to check up?

What was going to happen with Ashley? Where did their own relationship stand? Were they still friends or were they more or were they just friends who kissed in bathrooms and frontseats?

Spencer had no idea. And what was wrong was she couldn't really ask or tell anyone about it.

"Alright, what is it? Drugs? You pregnant again?"

"Yeah, you know Dad, you got me. You'd think I'd learn after the fifth kid."

They shared knowing smiles at one another before Arthur leaned forward again. Spencer raised her head a bit to watch him clearly.

"Really, what's wrong, Spencer? You're usually never this quiet…unless we're listening to Glen give us a play by play of his winning shot."

"That's 'cause he turns into one of the Gentlemen and tries to suck all our voices into a box or something."

"Never stops your mother from speaking up."

"Broken vocal chords wouldn't stop mom."

A small laugh fell out of Arthur's mouth, turning the mug in a circle with his fingers. Spencer smiled on her side of the table, her head still sitting on her chin comfortably.

"It's ok. Whatever it is that you're holding."

"Wha-"

He raised a finger, giving her that universal sign to shut up.

"I know you, Spence. And it's ok if you don't wanna talk about it. Just remember, it'll all be ok. It'll fix itself in the end."

She didn't know how exactly he always knew the right things to say. Must've been part in the manual he got when he graduated college but he always had the ring words. She took a moment, letting what he said really sink in…letting herself believe that it was true.

Looking back up at her dad, Spencer gripped the cup a little tighter this time.

"You think so?"

"Definitely. That's how it always happens on TV."

He winked at her and she smiled. Really, everything had to be ok. Pushing aside all the bad stuff, which wasn't that much, she wasn't so far off on the bad end of the scale. She had told Ashley, and Aiden, the truth – even if it wasn't really in her plans to do so. She kissed Ashley for the first time. She already could feel a reconciliation coming with the brunette. All that she needed to do was mend her broken ties with Aiden and she'd be all better.

Things had much more of a possibility of turning out to be ok just like her dad said. Right? Right.

When she heard her father finish washing his cup and head back upstairs, no doubt to catch up on some of the Discovery Channel, she got out of her chair, grabbed the keys and left out the door.

It took only a few minutes to get to Ashley's house from Spencer's so when she parked out in front of the gate waiting for someone to open, she was stuck with her own thoughts again. Just remembering everything that happened a couple of feet away from the spot she was in. In that very car. Everything, especially the part with Spencer leaning over and kissing the brunette like she always wanted to.

Javier came in a couple of minutes and let her in, making sure to compliment señorita Spencer on her hair and wonderful choice of clothing. Spencer was pretty sure he was _sweet_ but she didn't care. He had great taste in bags.

She parked her car and followed Javi, he told her to call him that, into the house. He went back outside to finish his work on the pool and the garden and she stayed in the foyer of the Davies mansion. _Go big_ was definitely the lady of the house's motto. And she knew this very well, having met Ashley's mother all of three times in her life and each time, she was in the midst of leaving her daughter money before she left to some exotic island that only rich people went to.

Standing by the large spiral stairs, directly under the huge sparkling chandelier, Spencer took in the vast difference between Ashley's single room and the rest of the house. Everything in the brunette's room screamed "Ashley" which she assumed while looking at the rest of the house was done on purpose. Not just because she knew the girl loved to be unique and an individual but because she wanted to definitely make it known she wasn't the _bourgeoisie_.

"Spencer? What're you doing here?"

Ashley jogged down the stairs and for a quick moment, Spencer's eyes went right to her…well, you know.

"I'm just…just here to talk. For a little." She tried her best to keep her eyes up, making sure to keep eye contact as best she could. Ashley slid her hand down the banister, keeping one foot on the last stair.

"Ok." They stood there for a few minutes, each one trying to look at each other when the other wasn't checking. A smile slipped on Ashley's lips as her head tilt a bit and she watched the blonde directly. "Wow, this is a great talk."

"Oh! Yeah…" Spencer laughed at herself, closing her eyes tightly to hide her little embarrassment. "Uh…I was just wondering how you're doing. You know….since –"

"Yesterday?" Ashley kept smiling and it kept making Spencer's cheeks brighten by the second. "Yeah, I'm…cool. How're you?"

"Good…good."

"Good."

Ashley's smile never faltered but now, it was more like she was smirking. That infamous smirk she practically lived with on her lips. She watched Spencer fidget adorably in front of her. The blonde tried to find something to focus on like snapping her fingers, swinging her hands softly against each other until finally just crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Well…this is awkward." She couldn't help but sway a little from side to side. There was something that came from the brunette in front of her. She wasn't sure if it was a quiet laugh or a cough.

"Maybe if you weren't auditioning for Dancing with the Stars, then it wouldn't awkward."

"What?"

"You keep moving around like you're about to bust a move or something."

"Yeah, well, you know what they say. The rhythm is just gonna get you."

Ashley nodded, unable to contain the quiet laugh from coming out. She always loved when Spencer made cultural references since it was so far and few in between compared to how many times she quoted different things. "I've heard, I've heard. So what do you wanna talk about?"

She almost forgot why she went there in the first place.

"Just about…stuff. Us."

Ducking her head a bit to hide her smirk, which she never did, Ashley looked up at Spencer and she couldn't have looked sexier to the blonde than right then.

"Oh."

"Yeah, I just wanted to…to know where we are. I mean are we friend-"

"What do you want us to be?"

She wasn't smiling anymore but it wasn't an uncomfortable seriousness she stepped into in that second. But it was still serious. Spencer knew she wanted to know just as much.

"I guess that depends."

"On?"

"On what _you_ want us to be."

And back it came, the smirk. Spencer was playing with her fingers, waiting for Ashley.

"I think then that you should have the final say in this, Spence." She called her Spence again. There was a kind of comfort in that. "I mean, you did kiss me last so you have more say."

She couldn't hold it back, the eye roll that came right then had a smile to match.

"You know that's not how it works."

The smile on Ashley's lips seemed to have been painted on now with how long it had been on her lips. Spencer watched as her foot came down off the step behind her and she crossed her arms, challenging the blonde.

"I think it does. If it were up to me, we'd-" She stopped and looked up towards the top of the stairs for a second, cutting her response and their conversation short. Spencer didn't know what she was looking up for but something seemed to catch her attention. "You know what, maybe we should talk about this later, like tomorrow at school or something. When we have more room to talk."

"More room? We're standing in a museum and you want more room?"

Ashley smiled again as she looked back from the top of the stairs to the blonde. "You know what I mean. More room to…move around."

"Because you plan to be doing cartwheels and back hand springs while we talk about-" Something made a noise upstairs and now she understood why Ashley had looked up.

"Spence, we should just talk tomorrow, kay? I'll call you late-"

"_Spencer_? What're you doing here?"

Looking up, she found Aiden coming down the wide spiral staircase, his dark eyebrows arched on his forehead in confusion, no doubt. Spencer just looked back from him to the brunette who was avoiding her gaze but looking so apologetic as she ran her hand through her hair.

Spencer crossed her arms again, watching Aiden come down the stairs, stopping on the last stair while tucking his hands in his pockets.

"I'm just here to see how Ashley's doing. I didn't know you were here."

"Neither did I. But I guess we had the same idea."

"Yep."

He kept shifting his stare from Ashley to Spencer and back before hanging his head a bit, coming down the last stair and walking out the door. He didn't say bye to anyone but just left. Spencer didn't quite know how to take that, whether he was still upset at her or just upset that she was there. The guilt in pit of her stomach kept coming back, staring at the door after he left. She really didn't like having him be mad at her, no matter what was happening between Ashley and herself.

"I guess I should go."

"Wait, Spen-"

It was Spencer's turn to raise up her hand and silence someone. "It's ok. I'll just talk to you later."

She wasn't upset or anything but after seeing Aiden and knowing he was there the whole time, and who knows how long he had been there already, she wasn't sure if she could really talk anymore. The guilt, of course, got to her but then there was that jealousy that always seeped in quietly into her system. Truth be told, she still didn't know what had really been going on between Aiden and the brunette – if they were still together or not or just trying to work things out. And she wanted to get everything straightened out before going ahead with anything else.

Inflicting more pain in the already sore wound wasn't something she wanted to keep doing.

Ashley tilted her head again. "Alright. Can I call you later?"

Spencer nodded her head slightly, gave a small smile and headed towards the door.

--


	20. Chapter 20

--

"Maybe if you did what I told you to do, I wouldn't have to get upset."

"Holding my breath till I turn blue isn't something I'm gonna do."

"Blue's a good color on you."

Glen grabbed his gym bag from the backseat as he closed the door behind him. He pressed the button on his keychain to lock the car while Spencer adjusted her bag on her shoulder.

"How long is your practice gonna take? I have a lot of homework and being sweaty in the gym isn't really a good place to do my work in."

"You _could've_ done what I told you to do and waited in the car with the AC…or passed out or something."

"You know your car makes me carsick."

"Not my fault. You make me lifesick."

Ignoring him, she continued.

"Maybe if you didn't leave your gym socks all over the backseat, it wouldn't smell like someone died in there."

"That's cute. Maybe I'll take your advice, Spence. I'll just throw them in your room from now on. That way my car won't smell like a hearse."

They walked towards the gym, neither one looking at the other. Spencer rolled her eyes while looking through the quad. Really, she didn't want to be here, having to wait for Glen to finish his practice to then get a ride back home but Clay was with Chelsea, off somewhere, and it wasn't like she could call Ashley to have her pick her up.

They might've been on friendly terms but it wasn't like it was before yet.

Glen stopped to talk to some cheerleader, apparently getting to practice wasn't so important after all. It wasn't a surprise but she wished that sometimes he could think. The petite blonde he was talking to twirled on the one leg all her weight was on as her other leg was bent behind her. Spencer looked around just to give herself something to do as her brother flirted up with the cheerleader. He wasn't even looking at her face.

She coughed loudly to get his attention, which worked because he broke his stare at the cobra uniform covered breasts he was oogling to glare at his sister. He knew what she meant when he saw her annoyed expression. Rolling his eyes, he tried to cut the conversation short, asking for the girl's number.

She must've been new.

There was something weird about being there in school at that time. Usually she would've been somewhere with Ashley, anywhere. They liked to go to the beach a lot, just walk around. Ever since all this had happened, Spencer hadn't been to the beach at all. She only thought of it now because of how good the weather had been all day and she noticed how hot it was. Her shirt had stuck to her back in that sweaty gross way.

Glen turned back to walk towards the gym without saying another word. She followed closely behind. They got to the gym and he went straight for the locker room as she took a seat on the bleachers. She didn't look up or anything but instead just took out her books from her bag, getting ready to finish writing notes from the chapter she was assigned to read.

Studying the equations to pass her AP Math test next week was just not going to be fun at all. Especially when she had no idea how to find the value of any letter on her paper. Letters should not be in Math. Spencer decided right then. Letters were for English. Math was all about numbers. The two shouldn't go together. That'd be like…peanut butter and jelly.

She hated peanut butter. So it didn't match in her mind why anyone would put them together at all.

Ashley usually was the one that helped explain whatever it was that Mr. Hogan failed to in class. For some reason, numbers and letters and stuff all came naturally to the brunette. It was one of her many talents. Being able to wrap you around her finger and never let go was completely just the tip of the iceberg.

Spencer wondered why she hadn't called. It wasn't like she was waiting by her phone for the call or anything but she had been sort of looking forward to it. Spending so much time together before, practically living with one another since they spent all their time together, it was the weirdest feeling in the world to not have any contact with the brunette. It had only been a couple of weeks but it felt like years. Ok maybe not years but it felt like a really, _really_ long time.

And this whole Aiden and Ashley thing was so confusing. Were they together? Were they not together? The not knowing part was what made her stomach feel like someone was sucking it up inside out. She didn't know what to think about them and it wasn't like she could ask Aiden about it either. That was also something bugging her. The whole situation with Aiden. He'd been her best friend and she couldn't deny she missed him. He'd always been there for her when she needed and now that she needed - he wasn't there, And wouldn't be there.

Really, it hurt a lot more than she could admit that he was hurting over her own actions. Hurting over things she could've avoided and fixed….she was waiting for the right time. To tell him. To tell her. There was a part of her that was hoping Ashley was still around on campus but that was a fat chance. She was hardly there when she was supposed to be, much less when she wasn't.

The tip of her pen traced over the outline of Pebbles diaper. Spencer hadn't realized she wasn't writing notes anymore but just doodling in the margin of her notebook again. As was per usual when her mind wandered and there was schoolwork near.

"Watch out!"

"What?"

Just then, moving quickly as she saw the ball hurling towards her head, Spencer dodged before looking back over towards the basketball team. Aiden ran over to get the ball, stopping short at the edge of the bleachers.

"Sorry." His voice kind of shook as he tried to catch his breath. Spencer almost couldn't look at him. She just felt this punching in her stomach.

"My ball."

"What?" She looked back up to see him just standing there, expecting something.

"My ball, can you pass it?"

Looking over, she saw the orange ball sitting a couple of benches behind her. She grabbed it and passed it over to him. He didn't say anything, just kind of looked at her, almost avoiding her, and turned around.

"Aiden." He turned around. He didn't answer, he just nodded in that way of saying _what_?.

She still couldn't look directly at him and having him just standing there in front of her like that made her a bit more uncomfortable. Before it became any more awkward, she spoke up.

"Are you…um, are you doing anything after practice?"

He shook his head, squeezing the ball between his hands.

"Wanna talk. For a little bit?"

Spencer didn't notice how meek she sounded just then but apparently he did. He took his time though, letting her kind of sweat it out.

"_Hey, pretty boy, wanna throw the ball back before you break a nail!_"

Glen really was an ass sometimes but he did have a point. Aiden had just been standing there without answering, just squeezing the ball between his hands before rolling it and nodding. He turned back around, chucking the ball towards Glen – who lost some of his breath from the catch as it knocked him right in the chest. The smirk on Spencer's face was hard to hide as she watched her brother try to cough it off like nothing.

Before she knew it, it was already the end of practice and she hadn't really finished homework. Or even really started.

The impending talk she would have with Aiden was fresh on her mind and she just kept trying to think of what she would say and began picturing how the conversation would go. Different endings kept popping up in her mind. Like them magically becoming best friends again. and then there was the other side where he would rip her head off like a Barbie doll and spit down her neck.

She knew the latter would never happen but she still didn't want it to end badly with him.

"So what'd you wanna talk about?" His gym back plopped loudly on the bench a few ways down from where Spencer sat. She jumped up, quietly surprised by the sudden noise and just incoming intrusion of her thoughts. But when he stood there waiting to hear her, she knew she couldn't stall anymore.

"Um, just…about…you know. Stuff." He just nodded his head and sat down waiting for her to continue. It was a mystery why she let things drag out sometimes but she did. Taking a look at him, she closed her eyes and went for it. "I'm sorry."

Aiden stared at her blankly for a few seconds, she had no idea what he was thinking and sat there awkwardly as he just blinked slowly at her. Turning to stare off to the side, he nodded slightly and she was wondering if he'd ever say something or just mime his way through the conversation.

"Cool." Was all he said. She didn't know how to take that but on some level, it kind of angered her.

"Yeah, I mean we haven't talked in a while. I just wanted you to know I'm sorry over everything that's happened. With us. And….you know."

"Ashley."

'Yeah."

He just kept nodding and looking straight ahead, his side facing Spencer. There was something about his nonchalance and just demeanor that she didn't like, especially when she was apologizing to him. _Sincerely_ apologizing and he was just brushing her off.

"You don't have anything to say to me, then? Nothing at all?"

Looking back at her, he answered dully, "What could I have to say to you?"

"How about _sorry_ or something?"

His jetblack eyebrows creased on his forehead. "Sorry? Sorry for what?"

"For –" He cut her off before she could even finish.

"_Sorry_ for what, Spencer? When you're the one who lied to me?"

She hated that he was right about that. And she hated it more that he brought it out at the best times like right now.

"That's why I'm apologizing to you. And, by the way, you're not a saint in this either."

He was pretty calm up until now. His voice was getting a bit louder as he spoke to her.

"Oh really?"

She didn't back down from it either. "Yeah, really. You're the one who brought me into this whole mess with those letters, ok. I didn't tell you make me write them."

"Yeah, and I didn't tell you to lie to me for a year either!"

She sighed loudly, frustrated to keep going around in circles with him. "Aiden, that wasn't even about you, okay! It was about me. I wasn't ready-"

"You weren't ready, yeah – I get that. But why didn't you at least give me a heads up about anything? Tell me that maybe Ashley would've been interested in someone and just let me keep going on-"

"I didn't know! I didn't know when I could tell you or Ashley about it. It was hard enough lying to her every time I saw her. You think it was easy for me to just look at you and not tell you? You think it was easy for me to kiss he-"

She cut herself short there, hearing her voice echo lightly through the gym knowing she said too much. It wasn't until he said something that Spencer's head came back to look at him openly.

"I know." She wasn't sure what he was referring to knowing and it only made her chest tighten a little more. "And yeah, I know she kissed you."

An involuntary sigh she didn't know she was holding tumbled out of her mouth. He didn't sound so upset when she rewound it in her head and heard it again but still, she didn't take the chance of sounding relieved just in case.

"How'd you…?"

"She told me." It wasn't like she was so surprised but there was still a rise in her eyebrows when Spencer heard that tidbit.

"I'm kinda…shocked."

His own eyebrows rose quickly as he stared at his large hands. "Yeah, dude. I didn't expect that when she told me."

There went that dude word again. At least there was some improvement. He obviously wasn't that upset if he could use normal vocabulary with her. Spencer shook her head quietly, debating whether to ask what she was thinking or not.

Filters were lost sometimes when it came to her and curiosity. "What else did she tell you?"

Aiden took his time in answering this time. His eyes took their time coming back up to find hers again too. "She didn't go all in detail about it if that's what you mean. But she just said that she kissed you…and…."

Spencer was practically on the edge of her seat, waiting to hear what else the brunette had said about her.

Obviously Aiden wasn't so concerned.

"Look, really, I knew Ashley didn't _love_ me or whatever again. We just started going out. I'm not mad at you because of that…well, ok, I am a little." Spencer couldn't help but slightly roll her eyes – not in annoyance but frustration that her mistakes couldn't be fixed. "But it hurt…a lot, that you couldn't tell me the truth. You're my best friend, Spencer. And for you to be lying to me for that long…it wasn't fun to find out."

That was when her head hung and her voice crippled in her throat. "I know."

There was a few more minutes of silence between them as they just sat there, not too sure how to speak to the other for the time being. Aiden looked over at the blonde a few benches away from him and saw her trying to avoid his eyes at any cost. He knew Spencer well enough to know what she was thinking and probably feeling.

"Besides…" Her head rose slightly to look at him. "I dunno if Ashley likes having a boyfriend since she can't raid my closet with something to wear."

They both snickered softly, imagining the brunette looking through Aiden's baggy basketball shorts to find something to wear. The face they knew would grace her face was priceless in both their minds.

Laughter died down a bit before Spencer asked something she was still waiting to get an answer for. "So…does that mean you guys are still to-"

"Spence! Car! _Now!_"

Glen yelled from middle of the gym as he walked and said bye to the rest of the team as they came out of the locker room behind him. Sometimes, the thought of doing evil things to him were just too tempting.

"Wait!"

"_NOW!_"

Aiden smirked before getting back up and grabbing his own bag, stepping back on the court. Looking back towards the blonde, his smirk faltered a bit but never left completely.

"Guess you gotta go."

Spencer put her books back in her bag before tossing it over her shoulder and making her way down the bleachers.

"I know…ugh." Staring up at him, she smiled softly hoping to get something back. He nodded his head with the tiny faint smirk still on his lips.

"SPENCER!"

If she had an axe, it surely would've been chucked at her brother's head as she turned back around and made her way out of the gym.

--


	21. Chapter 21

--

Where the _hell_ was it?

She looked in her bookbag. Not there.

She looked under the bed. Not there.

She looked in her dresser, in her closet, in the hamper even. Not there.

Spencer couldn't find her Math notebook which was probably the worst curse she could've gotten since her Math final was today. A Math final she would never pass if she didn't have her notes filled with every formula she needed and still hadn't memorized.

"Mom!"

Glancing at the clock radio, she was already fifteen minutes later than she should've been. By this time, she would've been passing the corner on Grove Street with Glen blasting Snoop Dogg's latest single on his iPod which would be connected to the car stereo and they would be another few minutes from school.

She knew Glen and she knew that he would definitely leave her if she spent any more time than she was supposed to.

Turning her sheets over one more time to check if her notebook would just reappear like magic – which it didn't – Spencer grabbed her bag and hurried down the stairs while flipping through the books and papers in the beige messenger bag.

"Mom! Mooo-"

"_Yes_, I'm right here. What's wrong, Spencer?" Standing at the coat closet by the door, Paula checked to see her daughter hurriedly looking through her things trying to find something but to no avail.

"Mom, did you happen to see a notebook lying around somewhere?"

"Um…I'm not sure. You know how your brother is with his books, always leaving them around."

Spencer looked up quickly to see her mother hurriedly checking through her own bag, probably checking if she had all the right files for work.

"It's my notebook, its green."

"Oh! Honey, there it is on the table."

Rushing over to the table, her face fell once she got there and saw it was one of Glen's books lying carelessly on the table. Pages sticking out from all sides.

"That's not mine."

"That's the only green notebook I remember seeing. Besides, how do you know it's not yours, check the inside."

"It's not mine. Mine says 'Spencer's Math Book' on it. Not 'Chicks and Tricks' on it."

Paula shook her head before swinging her bag on her shoulder and grabbing her keys. Spencer did the same.

"I'm sorry, Spencer. I can't keep track of everything you three leave behind. I promise when I come home, I'll help you look for it, ok?"

She wanted to tell her that by then, it'd be too late – in every essence of the word. Instead, Spencer just nodded and walked towards the door to her brother's car as he honked at her to hurry up. When they got to school, she was already preparing herself to fail. She tried remembering some formula's but nothing stuck for too long.

"Remember, practice and I'm gone. So be there." Sometimes it was so clear that her brother just loved to hear himself talk.

Spencer rushed over to her locker to see if her notebook, even though she was sure she had it in her bag the last time she could remember. When it wasn't there, she knew she was screwed. There were too many places that notebook could be and the possibility of finding it on a campus with who knows how many people was getting slimmer and slimmer. Closing her locker angrily, Spencer rested her head against the cold steel while trying to remember where she had been the day before and how many times she touched her book in order to know where it could've possibly been left.

"You know they say when you're caught in a stare, it's because your mind is thinking pervy thoughts."

Turning around, she found Ashley leaning against the next locker. Without being too obvious, Spencer fixed herself.

"Uh…no. I'm just kinda freaking out." Ashley stared at her expectantly. "I can't find my Math book and now I dunno how I'm even gonna be able to try and pass Hogan's test today."

"Bummer." She watched the blonde silently for a few minutes before answering again. A smallest hint of a smirk tugged at her lips. "I told you doing school is totally overrated."

Spencer smiled, letting out a quiet laugh.

"Everything that needs work is overrated for you."

"Not _everything_."

And there it was. Spencer felt the change and was caught off guard, not really knowing how to answer or what to do. It had been a while since she felt this mild ease with the other girl so to feel it now, so unexpectedly, was a bit…nerve racking. But in a good way, of course.

"So…how have you been?"

Awkward tension always made awkward conversations in Spencer's case. Luckily Ashley never let her nerves show as much as Spencer did. She shrugged slightly, her head tilting a bit as her eyes slowly watched the blonde.

"Alright. Just been…thinking a lot."

"That's good. Thinking….about what?"

"People."

Spencer nodded, trying to find her next response on the floor or something while Ashley smirked leisurely as her body rest on the locker.

"That's really…like, vague."

"Is that all you're gonna say?" Her voice didn't bite and with the knowing smirk playing on her lips, Spencer knew she was trying to bait her.

"Well, what do you want me to say?"

"I'm pretty sure you can pick up on those conversation skills without me trying to help you."

It was Spencer's turn to smirk playfully. "Oh? Because last time I checked, it took _two_ to have a conversation."

Smiling whole now, Ashley watched the blonde from the corner of her eye as she ducked her head letting her hair fall around her face before looking back up. Spencer decided right then, the hooded eye gaze she had right now was probably the sexiest thing ever.

"Touche."

"I have my moments."

They were both smiling and Spencer wasn't sure why except that she couldn't stop smiling. They took a few more moments to just watch each other, light smiles meeting mischievous smirks. When she realized they hadn't said anything for a little while, Spencer remembered they were supposed to be talking. A quiet laugh came from her as she tried to think of what to say.

"You know you're pretty quiet for somebody who was just making fun of my conversational skills."

"I was so not making fun. I was pointing out in a semi joking way."

"Ahh, glad to know the distinction."

Ashley's smirk never faltered. She watched the blonde fidget, trying to hide her blush without being noticed. Deciding to give the girl a break, she looked out towards the quad, watching everyone walk by them. It was spring so all the new couples were blossoming like leaves on trees. Her eyes immediately went to Christy Lidle and Aaron Decker. Cheerleader and wannabe football player, it was too bad the King High football team was so horrible.

"Check it out. Puppy love, right in front of our eyes."

Turning around to see what the brunette meant, "Oh…_wow_. Aaron and Christy?" She shrugged after the initial shudder passed.

"You know 'em?"

She nodded. "He's one of Glen's friends. I didn't know Christy liked guys….like that."

"I didn't know Christy liked _guys_."

They both shared a small giggle while watching the couple talk animatedly at one another before she gave him her bag and books to hold. Spencer watched before turning back to the brunette, taking her in.

"Do you ever wonder if that would've been us…if we…."

Ashley was still looking towards the cheerleader and her boyfriend. "No way. I'd never be caught dead wearing that."

She smiled at the girl's answer, her voice softening, "Seriously…do you?"

Ashley looked back at the blonde, seeing her now serious expression and almost hopeful eyes. She watched her, letting the question really hang between them. Spencer's heart kept beating a little harder and faster every second.

"Of course I wonder."

"And?"

"And…." A growing smile started caressing the brunette's lips as she spoke, "I'd still never be caught wearing that ugly ass outfit."

Spencer rolled her eyes lightly, smirking at the girl while casting her gaze back over to the couple walking away from them.

"That's right, because your fashion sense is the best there is."

"Glad to see you've learned _something_ educational."

"Pearls of wisdom from Ashley Davies, I think I'll write this down."

"Make sure to tell your friends."

They laughed comfortably with one another, watching the other out of the corner of their eyes. Spencer kept her head down to hide the creeping blush on her cheeks as she felt Ashley watching her. You never had to necessarily look at the brunette to know she was looking at you. That was something Spencer learned a long time ago.

"I wonder about it too….sometimes…"

"And?" Ashley answered, her eyes scanning the quad before lazily gazing over at Spencer again, waiting or her answer this time.

Spencer watched the brunette closely, losing every hint of a smirk or smile from her face, wanting to make sure this was taken as seriously as it could be.

"And…"

The bell rung. Fate never wanted them to get their answers out to each other, it seemed. Every time they were close, something interrupted them. Looking around to see everyone begin hurrying to their classes, Spencer nodded apologetically at the girl beside her as she readjusted her bag on her shoulder.

"You owe me an answer." And with that, Ashley winked and walked away without looking back.

Before Spencer could say anything, the second bell rung which meant she was already late for her next class. When she reached the closing door, she slid in and took her seat.

AP Chem was really not on the agenda of things to think about right now. All her mind kept replaying was what just happened with Ashley by her locker.

It was true, she had thought about it before…a lot really. Every time she thought about Ashley, one of the many things that crossed her mind was about how her life would be if she had never backed off after that first kiss. How would she be right now? Happier? Or worse.

When the bell rung again, she didn't wait to hear about any homework but made her way towards her locker again. The memory of her lost Math book came back and they were only two more periods away from the test of death that she was dreading.

"Spencer!"

Aiden jogged over towards her, his ugly purple backpack straddling his shoulder. She checked back quickly before turning back towards her locker, trying to weave through books and papers stuffed in there.

"Hey Aid-"

"Do you know where Glen is?"

"Uh…no? I haven't seen him since we got to school, why?"

"Stupidass stole my notes for Spanish and I need them for my oral today."

She tried to block out the quick dirty thought that ran through her mind. This was proof that she had spent too much time with Ashley. She was thinking like her.

"I'll make sure to tell him if I see him."

He looked around as if checking to see if he could spot tight blond curls walking by but nothing. When he turned back to the blonde standing in front of him, currently with her back to him as she frantically tossed books around in her locker, he noticed her acute frustration.

"Everything cool?"

She didn't even turn back around, just kept weaving through the same books.

"Yeah…yeah." He kept watching her rip through her locker like she was trying to find the last twinkie on the shelf. She finally gave up trying to look. It was obvious after the first FBI raid…the book wasn't there. "I just can't find my Math notebook."

"Oh."

"Yeah. And without it, there's no way I can pass the test I have today. The test that'll make up about fifty percent of my grade. My grade which is barely passing right now."

When she didn't hear anything again, she turned around to find him just staring at her with his eyebrows raised and his lips pursed. He couldn't look any more clueless than he already did.

"Sorry to unwind…"

"No, no! It's cool. I'm pretty much…there, since your brother doesn't show up and I have, like, five minutes till my oral."

There went the dirty flashy thoughts.

"Yeah."

She closed her locker and turned to face him completely, watching him look from her to the floor and around where they stood as if trying to pick someone out. This was oddly awkward for no real reason.

"So, I guess I'll see you around." He sighed and did that weird eye roll thing while she just forced her lips into a tight smile. She nodded her bye as he shortly waved her his as he walked away.

When she got to her next class, Gym, she changed as quickly as she could into her uniform. She never understood how a tee shirt and shorts was considered a uniform but there was no time to think of that right now. Being at the gym reminded her that she had her notebook here last night when she was waiting for Glen to get out of practice. There was no other place she had been the day before, the book had to be somewhere in that gym.

Running over to the bleachers, Spencer searched underneath, able to see everything. She saw folded chairs, some huge dust bunnies, balls, but no notebook.

"Carlin!!"

She hit her head on the top seat above her head as she moved out to check who called her. There stood Ms. Maddox, with her huge sneakers and massive tree trunk legs. There must've been some kind of rule that when hiring female gym teachers, they had to be the most unattractive and masculine women ever.

"Get over here, Carlin! Quit dillydallying!"

Looking around before she sprinted to run laps as everyone else was doing, Spencer stomped away the possibility of her book being around there.

"Hurry up, ladies! Raise those legs high!"

"I usually have dinner and a movie before hearing that."

Some of the girls snickered at the tossed comment. "Very cute, Ms. Goodlove. Just for that, another five laps for everyone. Now move!"

A collective groan came out and Spencer just kept jogging without really paying much attention. As she went around, she noticed Ashley wasn't there. Really it shouldn't surprise her…this was the same girl who didn't walk down the street because she didn't like to sweat. The only things she liked to do that actually included sweat also came with a bed – sold separately.

And that, she made sure to work up a sweat with.

Or so she said.

"Eyes front, _ladies_." The way her voice sneakily softened at the end told you she was trying to be smart but…it didn't really pay off.

Spencer kept jogging, wondering where the brunette had been. Even though they had only spoken about an hour ago, there was still a craving to be close to her, talk to her, be able to look at her. Maybe it was the whole flirty thing that had came back into their normal dialogue or just that she didn't feel Ashley's guard up every time she saw her now, she couldn't decide. But the need to see her was still there. Without warning, the door opened with Ashley sauntering in, her jean miniskirt clinging to her hips.

"Carlin!" Apparently she was the last one left running. Maybe that was because Ashley was still running in her mind.

Gym didn't last too long after that. Especially not when all Spencer kept doing was taking quick – really they were more like swift – glances towards the brunette sitting in the bleachers. Her legs crossed while she played with the lollipop in her mouth. It was like something out of a movie…except not so cheesy and without some dumb song playing in the background. When Ms. Maddox called her to get dressed, or rather undressed, the brunette gave her some excuse about her personal trainer and his rules about fitness. Spencer didn't really listen too well. She was too busy watching and trying to make it seem like she wasn't.

The bell rung again and she knew it was coming. Her test. Next period and still no book. She really should've given up after last period.

Getting undressed, she didn't feel it, but when she was throwing on her shirt and buttoning up her jeans, she felt it. Ashley eyes watching her…like she was the last Pepsi in the fridge. Anyone else would've looked back but she didn't. Spencer just kept getting dressed, seemingly ignoring the brunette studying her.

It wasn't like Ashley didn't take notice. She just relished in it.

"You know staring isn't nice." Spencer stuffed her clothes in her bag while Ashley just kept watching with a smirk.

"It is when you consider what I'm staring at."

"And what are you staring at?"

When she didn't get an answer, she looked over to see the answer written all over the brunette's face. They kept on like this, Spencer fixing her bag trying to hide her blushing smile and Ashley watching. Just watching.

The girl was perfect at telling a story with just a look. Ryan Atwood had nothing on her.

Hearing the bell ringing again, Spencer picked up her bag again, making her away across the brunette without saying anything. She saw Ashley following her through the corner of her eye, making sure to not miss a beat as she walked towards the door. Once outside, she remembered what class she was going to next and the fun, free feeling she had come over her was thrown out the window with a worried scowl.

She made her way towards the next classroom and could almost hear the music playing. That Darth Vader music that meant something bad was coming.

Stepping foot into the class, she almost wanted to skip it and just take the zero instead of trying to suffer through the test anyway. When she saw something on her usual desk, it prompted her to go inside anyway.

There was a paper on her desk sitting atop her lost notebook with a drawing of Smurfette on it. It was one of her own drawings that came from her notebook, she could tell since the page looked like it was ripped out. it was folded in half with the illustration she had made so many times coming out from the ripped side.

Spencer set her bag down and sat, opening up the page and seeing something was written on it.

_Meet me at lunch._

_A_

The only 'A' that came to mind was a certain dark haired girl who just walked into the classroom, lollipop still twirling in her mouth. She looked back at the paper, it wasn't Ashley's handwriting but it didn't match anyone else's she knew. When she looked up, she saw the brunette sitting, eyes fixed her way. The candy in her mouth, she twirled on her lips from corner to corner while smirking knowingly towards the blonde.

Spencer completely forgot where she was until the deep, resonating voice breaking through the classroom snapped her back to reality.

"Put everything away. Books, papers, cell phones, iPods, any and all electronic gadgetry." Only Mr. Hogan would use the term 'electronic gadgetry'. Spencer folded her anonymous note again and slipped it in her pocket but not before catching Ashley's unwavering stare her way. They didn't smile but just kept watching each other until the test was placed on their respective desks.

This was going to be the longest forty minutes of her life. And it wasn't just because of the pale paper sitting in front of her but because of the chocolate eyes she could still feel were fixed on her from across the room.

--


	22. Chapter 22

--

"Jockstrap - you seen him?"

"Do I look like a seeing eye dog, Glen?"

"Well…at this angle…"

"Jerk."

Spencer smacked her brother's chest as he smiled at her attempt to hurt him. He kept looking around keeping his eyes peeled for his taller teammate. When he couldn't spot him in the crowd of people passing by, he took the chance to look at his sister who was emptying her bag in her locker.

"What the hell are you doing anyway?"

"It's called unpacking, Glen." Her bored, annoyed tone was very much the flavor of her voice right now.

"Why the hell are you unpacking? It's only lunch. You do have class after."

"I'm just getting ready for the rest of my classes so I don't' have to carry around so many bo- Why do you even care?" She threw the last of her books before closing her locker and rearranging the inside of her bag.

"Who told you I did?"

"You keep asking questions."

"That's a crime now? God, Spencer. You'd think you were on your –" Glen caught her menacing glance from the corner of his eye and chose a different set of words. Carefully. "Look, whatever. Can you just cover for me if you see Aiden around? I gotta to take the second part of my Spanish test later and I still need his chicken scratch notes to pass. So if you see him, tell him you haven't seen me." She still hadn't looked at him. She was too busy with her own stuff. So he opted to make this as painfully easy for her to understand as he could. "Can…you…do…that?"

She finally looked up meeting his expectant gaze with an annoyed glare. "I think I might write it down just to make sure I remember."

Rolling his eyes, he just walked off again towards the direction of the oncoming cheerleading squad. Wherever there were skirts, there Glen was. There was no denying. It was like science.

Spencer walked towards the cafeteria, trying her hardest to suppress all thoughts of the test she just bombed. It wasn't even worth thinking about when you know you failed it before you even gave it in. When she reached the quad area she looked around, trying to spot someone in particular, finding her russet curls not so easy to catch. It wasn't until she caught a glimpse of Ashley's hair blowing behind a tree in the far side of the green where there were hardly even benches that a sigh of relief escaped her lips. She wasn't even sure if it was relief or just a mix of about a million other things running through her veins.

She reached the tree and coughed softly to get the brunette's attention, causing her to turn around. She was still sucking on that lollipop. Spencer wondered if the thing was everlasting or she just didn't want to waste it.

"Hey."

"Hey." Her voice came out all husky as if she hadn't spoken all day. It really wasn't helping Spencer's restraint.

"How're you?"

Ashley smiled again, giggling softly under her breath as she spoke, holding onto the tip of her lollipop. "As good as I was last period and the period before that."

Spencer's eyes shut, trying to make up for the stupidity of her own question. "Right. I was just asking to…you know…"

"I know." Her smile never ceased as she just watched the blonde fidget.

"…Know…" Spencer smiled nervously as she thought of a topic of discussion. She reached in her pocket and pulled out the folded paper. "So, what'd you wanna talk to me about?"

"What?"

She saw Ashley's confused stare and met her with her own. "You wanted me to meet you. So, what'd you wanna-"

"Spence, what're you talking about? You wanted to meet _me_,"

"What?"

"Yeah, you wanted to meet-"

"No I didn't!"

Ashley's eyebrows shot up and Spencer realized what she had said. "No, that- that's not what I meant. Of course I wanted to meet you but…look," she unfolded the note to show her, "you sent me this, right?"

Ashley shook her head as Spencer got more and more confused. "You didn't send me this?"

"Nope. I haven't sent anything."

"But you signed it!" She showed her the signed 'A' at the bottom of the note but Ashley's head still shook as she pulled out her own note from her bra. Spencer tried not to focus on where the note had come from.

"No, that's not me. It's not even my handwriting! I got this in my desk before Gym and it was signed by you."

Spencer took the note, reading what looked like a poem sent to Ashley with her drawing of Pebbles on the front, in the same way her note had her own sketch of Smurfette on the cover.

"_Dear Ashley, I've got some things I'd like to set in pen  
I would have used a pencil but lead's just not permanent  
Should I trust my printer's ink  
To express the things I think?_

_Dear Ashley, this envelope will represent my heart  
I'll seal it, send it off and wish it luck with its depart  
And this stamp will be every action that carried my affection  
Across the air and land and sea_

_Meet me at lunch  
Signed, sincerely, me….- S_"

"Lyrics. " Ashley answered as she watched the blonde reading thoroughly. Both letters were written by the same person, apparently since both had the same handwriting.

"Yeah, I know. You played this song all the time when you drove that one time to Jack in the Box and wouldn't let me turn on the radio." She handed the letter back towards the girl, completely lost as to what exactly was going on. Who would know to send that to Ashley? There was no one else in the car except….

Spencer looked around, searching for a familiar spiked head of hair, spotting him sitting on one of the tables along with some other guys, mostly from the basketball team. He was looking her way and when she met his stare, he nodded and smiled slightly towards her before returning back to whatever it was he was talking about with his friends.

She'd definitely have to remember to get Aiden something for later.

Ashley was still watching her, her soft eyes taking the girl in. "So…Pebbles, huh?"

Spencer shook her head, getting back to where she was and to the girl in front of her. She looked at the folded paper between Ashley's fingers, which she was brandishing as if she were Vanna White. The blonde smiled softly as she turned up to see Ashley's smirking eyes looking back at her.

"Yeah. _I_ think it's pretty cute."

"Well you would. You're pretty gay like that."

She rolled her eyes as her head tilt, the brunette was still watching her with the mischievous smirk in her eyes matching the one playing on her lips.

"So you still owe me an answer."

Spencer didn't notice but she was swaying a bit on her feet, her head resting on her shoulder and her eyes slowly taking in every curve of Ashley's face.

"Answer to what?" She decided to play coy and see where it got her. What she got was an even broader smirk, with the brunette taking holding her lollipop in her hand as her tongue rested between her teeth. She did it, and Spencer was pretty sure what effect it would have on her.

"You know to what."

"I swear, I don't know what you're talk-"

"Spencer."

The rasp in her voice made Spencer stop for a second, take in everything she was looking at – wanting to remember everything about this moment right now. Her smile slowly crept on her lips before she stepped in, grabbing Ashley's shirt to pull her in, and kissing her fully. There was something so simple about just kissing her that she couldn't describe but she knew she never wanted to let go. This was the second time she kissed Ashley first and the more she did it, the better it was.

Ashley didn't disappoint either. She opened her mouth, deepening the kiss intensely, letting Spencer in completely. They stayed that way, feeling each other using their lips before Spencer pulled back slowly. Her hands were still gripping onto Ashley's shirt and they still stood nose to nose with each other.

Spencer looked into the chocolate eyes in front of her, just taking them in and letting them do the same. It was Ashley's husky voice that cut through their short silence.

"I like your answer but I missed the last part. What'd you say, again?"

She smiled knowingly before leaning back in again, the brunette's hand sliding up from its place on her arm to tangle itself in blonde locks.

There was no need to wonder anymore about how they would be together.

--

The End.

_Thanx so much to everyone who's read and reviewed, it means a lot and I loved reading what you guys thought of each chap and the story! Hope you all enjoyed the ending. Till next time. _


End file.

South of Nowhere, Drama, Humor