South of Nowhere 206 Bones

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything**

**206 Bones**

I wish I could say that this was all a joke.

That I was on an episode of Punk'd and Ashton was going to run out any second now and tell me that this was all just a part of his show.

That this was all just one big, long nightmare that I would soon wake up from.

Sadly it was neither of these things.

It was reality, the truth and I couldn't escape it.

Also there was nothing I could do at this point, except push a button every 15 minutes to give her the tiniest bit of relief.

Her blonde hair had lost its shine long ago, and her once bright blue eyes were now a greyish color.

Her skin was pale and sunken in.

You could see every bone that made up her body.

Her heart monitor was beating steadily as her breathing became heavier, she was finally getting some sleep.

I grab her loose hand in mine and kiss the back of it, knowing that soon I wouldn't be able to do this anymore.

Spencer wasn't always sick.

Three years ago she was her happy healthy self.

She was always smiling, and being peppy.

But it wasn't until two years ago that everything started to go down hill.

**2 AND HALF YEARS AGO**

"_Ashley, come on. We are going to be late!" Spencer yelled at me as I peeked my head out in the hall from the bathroom, toothbrush still in my mouth. I rolled my eyes at her_

_ and removed my toothbrush._

"_Spencer, our appointment is at four, and it is only two-thirty. Besides even when we get there we are going to have to wait forever, you know how doctors are, we have gone _

_through this three times already," I counter._

"_I know," She pouted, "It's just I have a really good feeling about this time, so I wanna there early just in case."_

"_Who knew trying to make a baby was this much work," I grumbled as I continued to brush my teeth._

_Spencer appears behind me and wraps her arms around my waist and kisses the back of my neck. "I mean teenagers get pregnant all the time, on accident! And here we have _

_been trying for half a year now and nothing."_

"_Oh stop being such an Oscar the Grouch. The doctor said it may not take the first few times. We just have to keep trying."_

"_I'm not Oscar the Grouch."_

"_Yes you are, now lets go," She smiled as she grabbed my hands and dragged me out of the house._

_Spencer and I had been married for five years. So it was obvious that the next step for us would be to have a baby. We have been trying for six months now and every single _

_time we get the negative sign on a pregnancy test, I begin to lose hope. But Spencer said she had a good feeling about this time, so hopefully this was it._

_Hopefully we were going to finally complete our family._

_TWO WEEKS LATER_

"_Ok so how long do we have wait?" I question._

"_15 minutes," She responds._

"_That's forever."_

"_Tell me about it."_

"_How long has it been?"_

"_Two minutes."_

"_How long now?"_

"_Two minutes."_

"_Ugh kill me now!" I groan._

_13 MINUTES LATER_

"_Ok Ashley go check," She whispers._

"_Ok baby," I say as I peck her lips._

_I walk into the bathroom and bring the test back out without looking at it. I glance down and see the negative sign once again._

"_Spencer, I'm beginning to think your vagina is broken," I say as I show her the test._

_Tears begin to swell in her eyes and I pull her close to me._

"_Baby everything is going to be ok, we are going to have a baby. Even if I have to still one from the super market we will get one," I say trying to comfort her._

_She laughs slightly as she pulls away and wipes her tears away._

"_Thanks Ash, but frankly I want us to have our own baby, not one you stole from the dairy isle at Walmart."_

"_It's worth a shot," I say with a slightly amused hint to my voice._

"_No, like you said, it's going happen. It's just going to take time. But we will have a baby eventually," She said positively._

_We continued to try for a baby for another six months, and after getting a negative every single time Spencer began to get worried._

_6 MONTHS LATER_

"_Ash, maybe we are supposed to have a baby. Maybe it's supposed to just be me and you forever?" She questioned._

"_Don't talk like that Spence we are going to have this baby, just have some more faith?" I try to reason with her._

"_I think I should go to the doctor to see whats wrong. I mean lately I'm tired all the time, and I have been getting cramps all the time, and it's not my period. Maybe I'm not _

_even fertile."_

"_You have been really pale too, maybe you are just stressed from work? The doctor said that stress can prevent pregnancy."_

"_Maybe, but I'm going to go to the doctors today just to get everything checked out," She said as she grabbed her keys and purse._

"_Want me to come with?"_

"_No baby I'm good, I know your bus. Actually could you make those steaks in the fridge when you get the time? I should be home in about two hours," She says as she gives_

_ me a couple of kisses before she heads out the door._

"_Mashed potatoes too?" I call after her._

"_You know it," She says with a smile as she leaves._

_TWO HOURS LATER_

_Just as I am setting up the table for dinner, and bringing the plates in from the kitchen to the dining room I see Spencer coming in through the door. Her eyes were red and _

_puffy, she had been crying._

"_Spence, Baby what's wrong?"_

_She lifts her head up and her eyes meet mine._

"_I have cancer," she whispered._

_The only sound that could be hear was the sounds of our dinner crashing to floor and the plates shattering into a thousand pieces. I swallow the sudden lump in my throat and_

_ try to find some words,_

"_What?"_

_Spencer sat me down that night and explained everything to me. Many tears were shed. Life was never going to be same. She told me that the doctors discovered that it was _

_cervical cancer, and that this is what has been preventing her from getting pregnant. They also said that even if her cancer went into remission, the chance of us being able to_

_ have a baby was slim to none. _

_After that we stopped trying to have a baby and Spencer started to go to chemo and radiation. Every appointment she had I was there with her every step of the way. Even at _

_home I never let her out of my sight. After about four months of this continuous process we received some good news._

_FOUR MONTHS LATER_

"_Ash, Baby guess what?" Spencer hollered through out the house. I ran into the foyer as fast as I could and inspected her for any injuries._

"_Ash, stop. Guess what?" She said as she pulled me into a hug._

"_What?" I questioned._

"_I'm in remission! The cancer is gone!" _

"_Really?" I manage to get out as happy tears begin to take over._

"_Yes really!"_

_I pick Spencer up in my arms and spun her around placing kisses all over her face._

"_I love you, I love you, I love you!" I say in between kisses. "We have to celebrate! What should we do? Dinner? Um lets go dancing! No lets take a trip France! I know how _

_much you love France. We could go to-" cut off by Spencer's lips I know to shut up._

"_How about we spend tonight on the couch, cuddling watching a movie, and maybe later on we can celebrate in the bedroom?" She suggests._

_I cradle her in my arms and carry her over to the couch and sit her down gently, "I'll get the popcorn."_

_For the next seven months everything went back to normal. Spencer went back to work and our lives were great. Of course we were still upset about not being able to have a _

_baby of our own, but we started to talk to some adoption agencies. After another month things started to go down hill again._

_8 MONTHS LATER_

_Spencer came home late one day after work. She had called after she got off and told me she wasn't feeling well lately so she was going to go to the doctor for another check up. _

_When she got home I could tell that whatever it was it wasn't good. Her eyes were once again puffy and red. I pulled her into my arms and just held her until she wanted to talk._

"_It's back Ashley."_

_That's all she had to say and I knew what she meant. _

_I held onto her tighter as we both stood there eyes full of tears._

"_We are gonna get through this again baby, you are a fighter. We can do this. I'm here for you, never forget that."_

_Once again we went through the chemo and radiation, but this time it didn't take. Over time her cancer started to spread to her bones. Because the cancer had spread to her _

_bones walking had become difficult for her, and she was always in extreme pain. The doctors said that there was nothing we could do. All they did was write her a prescription _

_for pain killers. Over time the pain in her legs got to her and she had to be in a wheelchair, and the pain in her arms caused her to not be able to wheel herself. There had been_

_ times when she had to go to the bathroom and I would be carrying her to the bathroom and she would lose control of her bladder. She would cry and apologize for hours, and I_

_ would explain to her that a little urine never hurt anybody. Over time the pain become unbearable. Spencer would go through her month prescription in two weeks, and the _

_pharmacy wouldn't give us a refill, so I had to do the unimaginable. _

_3 MONTHS AGO_

_I pulled my hood over my head and checked my surroundings. I walked down the dark ally and found who I was looking for, a drug dealer._

"_You got the pills?" I asked._

"_You got the money?" He countered._

"_Yeah how much will a thousand give me?"_

"_Fifty pills."_

"_That's it?"_

"_Take it or leave it."_

_I pull out a thousand dollars out of pocket and hand it over, he gives me the pills and I leave the ally with the only thing that can get rid of my wife's pain._

PRESENT TIME

I did everything for Spencer that I could possibly do. It hurt me so badly just seeing my wife die in front of my eyes knowing that her days were numbers. Looking at

her now she isn't the Spencer I married, but she is still my beautiful wife and I'll always love her forever. Her eyes pop open and she stares at me, that is all she can

do. The doctors have her so drugged up that she can't speak. A tear rolls down her cheek and I wipe it away.

"Don't cry baby, you are going to get better, we just have to find a cure," I say fighting my own tears. I knew this wasn't true, I knew that at any second she was

going to be gone. After a couple hours of me just talking to her about all the good times we had Spencer closed her eyes and her heart monitor slowly but steadily

stopped beeping and she flat-lined.

Doctors rushed in with paddles to restart her heart but I stopped them, for the last two years of my baby's life she suffered and now she was at peace.

I kissed her lips one last night as I wiped my tears away. My baby may have lost her battle but she was no longer in pain, and I had to be ok with that.


End file.

South of Nowhere, Angst, Hurt-Comfort