South of Nowhere 1. Chapter 1

AN: A One Shot She's Country

8 September 2009.

I will never forget that day when I received an email from an anonymous person. I usually questioned anyone who emails me at my personal account. Where privacy is concern I take precautions. But in the midst of this email I read it word by word. Part of me kind of felt the connection with one simple email, but it's not just about the email and the fact that I have now one more friend on my email list.

It's the person who I have met.

She was blonde, blue eyes and from the country. She opened up to me telling me how she feels about life. Almost everything we spoke about was new to me.

I was working on my novel at this time and I had a dream that one day I will meet this amazing blonde blue eyed woman who will swept me off my feet.

It was the day that I moved into my own place when she emailed me her cell phone number. When I heard her speaking over the telephone I knew I was going to fall for this girl. I haven't seen her in real life but I have seen numerous pictures of her.

FLASH BACK

"Do you think we will meet each other one day." She asks me. At that time I wanted to book the first flight out to Ohio. But I knew even then my responsibilities here wouldn't let me.

"_I hope so Spencer." I tell her._

"_Please Ash, you know I wont be able to cope not having met you yet. Why was I born here and why are you born there." She says._

_I really want to be with her. But what you don't know she has a little girl with a guy I can't stand, even though I have never met him. Apart of me feels that whatever I am to her, or whatever her feelings are for me his still a huge part of her life._

_We have argued numerous times over him._

"_I'd love that. To meet you. Hold you and kiss you." I tell her. I really do want all of that._

"_Last night was great." She tells me. Last night I don't know what came over me, but we had phone sex. It felt like she was really there and hearing her moaning into my ears. OMG just thinking about it makes me wet all over again._

_She is fucking good I have to say. Every thrust, every pump, I could hear her fucking herself as she calls out my name._

_I want her so bad._

"_I want you so bad Spence." I say out loud. When I heard my sister coming into the room._

"_Please whatever you two are talking about just don't start what happened last night." I hear Kyla say. That is Kyla for you my stepsister._

"_We not doing anything." I yell while throwing her with a plush pillow. I could hear Spencer's laughing echo through the phone._

I placed the phone near my ear when I heard.

"Maybe not yet." She said. As I laughed and Kyla looking at me as I am going crazy. Not long she left us to talk.

"_I tell you what lets take time apart. See if this is going to work out. If you believe we are meant to be. I want to see if it's her or you. I can't just break up with her knowing she hasn't made me unhappy. I love you both but I cant do it." I tell her. _

"_Just say you don't want me Ash then I will leave and never come back. We can forget about last night. We can forget about the things we have spoken about. But just know and I know in your heart you know it to. We are meant to be together." She says._

_And with that she ends the call._

END OF FLASH BACK

Here I am laying in my bed as I read the card she sends me over the holidays. Playing her favourite songs on my Ipod. Maybe I did the right thing letting her go. Are maybe I am just an idiot for letting my emotions take over my heart. I want to be able to live my life where nobody is rushing me in something that I haven't really decided. But why is my heart breaking and why is her face in my mind. I can feel her tears, her heart crying out to me.

I wonder what she is doing now, if she's able to sleep. Cause I couldn't. All I am thinking is she is gone.

I love her so much. The fact that she has let me get close to her and her little girl.

I made promises.

I met a country girl.

She was the most amazing human being I have ever met. But all that came between us, were the fact I had a girlfriend and she had an ex boy friend.

I don't stand a chance.

Cause there is a bond. She told me herself apart of her will always be with him.

My country girl I love you forever.

**An: I don't think this is my best work. Hope it gets liked.**


	2. Chapter 2

Extended One Shot

She's Country part 2

8 February 2010

My name is Spencer Carlin and I am here to tell you my side of the story. I truly loved Ashley with all my heart. I never knew I could fall for someone after having strings of boy friends that it ends up her being my first true love. I remember the day we spoke on the phone and how whenever I received her emails I would have this smile on my face.

I sometimes wonder what our life would have been like if she weren't so afraid of acting on what her heart wanted. But in the end she never could leave the girl she was seeing.

I just never understood her; she had mix emotions about everything. Her fear was the one thing that stood between us. She would rather pretend than to be happy.

I wonder about certain things. Well a lot of things that I can't question. I have moved on, I have started to make myself happy cause I couldn't go with the come here go there feelings with Ashley.

I came across these lyrics while laying on the bed talking to her. When I googled the song it hit home. That this song was talking to me.

I remember it were a hard time for me pushed to the limits by her. As much as I want to deny it I love her still. I think I might for awhile even though I have met someone and love her.

_Lately nothing I do ever seems to please you_

_And maybe turning my back would be that much easier_

_Cause hurtful words are all that we exchange_

_But I can't watch you walk away_

_Can I forget about the way it feels to touch you?_

_And all about the good times that were been through_

_Could I wake up without you every day?_

_Would I let you walk away?_

_No I can't learn to live without _

_And I can't give up on us now_

_Oh I know I could say were through _

_And tell myself im over you_

_But even if I made a vow_

_I promise not to miss you know_

_And try to hide the truth inside_

_I fell cause I; I just can't live a lie_

_Could I forget the look that tells me that you want me?_

_And all the reasons that make loving you so easy_

_The kiss that always makes it hard to breath_

_The way you know just what I mean_

_No I can't live without _

_Ohh so don't you give up on us now_

Later that song became too much to listen to when I threw the picture I had of her on my bedside table. The same picture I once found under me as it were pressed under my heart, I never knew how it got there, how her picture came beneath me, but all I know is what I felt for her. The love I wanted to treasure for the rest of my life.

What she has done to me, the fact that I were never the one she chose. I would have done anything for her but she never took a chance until I met someone who wanted me back. Who I came to love. Its not that easy giving up on someone you thought would be there for you. First I thought it were the fact I had a child with someone else, then I found it were never that. It's just maybe I wasn't the girl she wanted to spend her life with.

_I have never felt this way before and it's killing me inside…the way you say your still heartbroken, like you cant believe it that I shouldn't be, that you have moved on.. Ash, that hurts when you down play the pain I am going through, I know that I take things to heart but I don't know any other way to take them... it isn't something that is easy for me nor is it something that I can turn off and just move on with my life. This is the worst pain I have ever been through and I don't know if I'll ever get over you. _

_You were my first true love and I know that you might know what it feels like to be me, but you have no idea the amount of pain I am in right now. I don't think anyone does. I am not in any way saying that you don't care but at least acknowledge that I am hurting and help me through it rather than kicking me when I am already down._

"Spencer." I heard a voice on the other side of my bed. It's been almost a year when I have last heard from Ashley. She was still with her girlfriend I hope that she is happy wherever she might find herself.

My mind was still on her as I see my little girl come bouncing through the doors and hugs my girlfriend. It wasn't easy to open up my world to another person after Ashley has just left without saying anything. Without even calling are emailing me. Maybe it was the best thing for her to stay out my life completely but she promised me. She made promises to my little girl. I know maybe it should have been both sides to keep in touch but it was to hard to keep thinking about her, seeing her smile.

I wonder if she thinks about me at all. I wonder sometimes why she couldn't just trust her own heart. Why she always had to run away. The things I greatly missed are the fact I knew her. She is a wonderful person besides her flaws. But at some point I had to move on. I loved her, I truly did, but I just couldn't do that with her any longer it caused too much pain.

We never even met. I always thought I would go down and meet her but it weren't in the cards. Did she love me? I wonder that sometimes.

I thought I was her country girl. The one she would never let go. Have I dreamt this amazing girl were a dream or were it just a phase for her. Just a taste of something. A taste of being someone like me. I miss her I won't lie. I still think about her.

I would never know. I can only say this SHE'S COUNTRY were probably nothing to her but another great story she wrote.

Just one email changed my life and in one email she took it all away from me.

This is where it ends. Where our hearts go on separate journeys. Dedicating my thoughts on what I have felt, what I have been going through since it all ended. She is no longer there.

I never stood a chance.

She told me herself it's not what she wanted.

It's always her.

The other girl.

_**AN: Just an extended one shot. I don't know if it fits well in with the previous one shot this is just written in Spencer's POV. Instead of Ashley. **_

Written 20 May


End file.

South of Nowhere, Friendship, Romance