Grey's Anatomy 1. Chapter 1

Meredith was tired, as she laid her head down on her kitchen table. Exhausted from even mentioning to her best friend what had happened the night before.

"You had sex with Derek in an exam room at the prom?"

"Yes."

"Last night, you and Sheppard did it?"

"Yes," Meredith replied, this time a little quieter.

"You and McDreamy did the 'nasty-nasty'?" Meredith's head shot up, starting to be come annoyed by the repeated facts.

"Cristina!"

"I'm not judging!" Her friend defended herself, "I'm just trying to wrap my mind around it! I mean, you're with Finn, he's with Addison-"

"-He's married to Addison," she cut her off. Throwing in necessary details, while looking down at the table.

"Yeah," Cristina muttered bluntly. She rolled her eyes, realizing she needed to be a little more sympathetic, "Well, what did Derek say?"

"He said 'Meredith what does this mean?'," she said, still looking down.

Cristina let out an annoyed breath, "Ok. He has sex with you and he's standing there all McGuilty and all he has to say for himself is 'oh, what does this mean?'" she said, aggravated. Then suddenly she wanted to know just that. "What does this mean?"

Cristina looked at her best friend for some kind of answer, but all she got was, "I don't know."

"Well are you going to go back to Finn? Is Sheppard leaving his wife?"

Meredith took a second to think about it. "I just-," she laid her head back down, "I don't know."

"Well do you plan on talking to him about this?"

"Eventually," she finally sat up, "but today is about Izzy. We need to get her off the bathroom floor."

"You need to talk to him," Cristina interjected.

Meredith looked at her friend, with an all too knowing look on her face, "You think so?"

Cristina nodded, "If you don't talk to McDreamy about the guilty exam room sex, then you won't know where you stand."

"You're right," Meredith admitted. "I'll call him."

Cristina watched her get up from the table and walk over to the counter where her phone was left. She let her phone speed dial his number, even though she had it memorized. It went straight to voice mail. "No answer."

"Maybe he's in surgery," Cristina offered. Just then Callie walked into the kitchen carrying two large brown paper bags over-flowing with groceries.

"I brought food," she stated the obvious.

"For Izzy?" Meredith asked.

"For Izzy," Callie confirmed. "George is on lock down at the hospital and I was going crazy, so I got food for Izzy."

"Lock down?" Cristina asked.

"Yeah, there's a chance of the plague going around the hospital," Callie informed them. "I don't think it's really anything to worry about," she tried to stay calm, "Do you?" She was nervous and they could tell.

"Don't worry, I'm sure everyone is fine," Meredith offered her a smile. It was then that she realized why Derek didn't answer his phone: he was on lock down. She would have to wait to talk to him.


	2. Chapter 2

Meredith was cleaning up after dinner when she felt eyes looking from behind. She glanced over her shoulder to see a dark figure standing in the doorway, leaned up against the doorframe, watching her. Finn. As soon as he saw her look over, he began to step forward, "Hey," was all he said at first.

"Hi," she turned back around to finish the dishes she had started.

"I haven't heard from you since last night," he started. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her middle. She felt a wave a guilt rush through her.

"I've been busy," she lied. Well, it wasn't completely a lie. She spent the day convincing Izzy to get off the bathroom floor, and then she spent the rest of the night getting her into bed and trying to encourage her to eat something.

He took a deep breath, "I tired to call…"

"I just…needed some time." She finished the dishes and he turned her around to face him.

"Did I do something? Was it the plans? I didn't mean to freak you out…I just-," she cut him off.

"Finn, it's not the plans. The plans are nice," she smiled at him, "it's just…," she didn't know what to say to him. She didn't want to hurt him with the truth, that she had sex with her married ex boyfriend, but she didn't want to lie to him.

"It's Derek," he looked down. He let go of her and took a step back.

"It's Derek," she admitted. "I like that you have plans," that wasn't a lie. She liked that a guy, for once, saw her in his future, as something more than a one-night stand. "I have fun with you, Finn. You're perfect for me."

"But you love him."

"I do love him, but I think one day I could love you," she tried to catch his eyes with hers. She smiled, "You're the one that told me I'm scary and damaged…and you were right, I am. I told you the scary ad damaged could be more than you could handle"

He looked up at her, and let out a small laugh. "What do I do?"

"You do whatever you want to do."

"Is this something I just wait out? Or should I move on?"

She crossed her arms and leaned against the counter, "Honestly, I don't know."

Finn ran his fingers through his hair, and left them there. He let out a sigh and stood to think all this new information over. "Alright, I'm going to go," he started to walk out of the kitchen, then he turned around, "But I'll call you tomorrow."

"Ok, that sounds good," she smiled.

"Goodnight, Meredith."

She watched him walk away. She took a sharp breathe in and felt the burning feeling start behind her eyes. Hot tears fought to fall from her eyes. She slid down to the floor and leaned her head against the cabinets behind her. _Stupid, stupid._

She wiped the tears from her cheeks and stood up. She decided that all she wanted to do was go to bed. She grabbed the banister and made her way up the first few steps when she heard the front door open. She turned around to see who it was: George. George was home, which meant the lockdown was over, and she still hadn't heard from Derek.

She started back up the stairs when she heard his velvety smooth voice softly whisper her name, "Meredith…"

She stopped dead in her tracks and closed her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

_She started back up the stairs when she heard his velvety smooth voice softly whisper her name, "Meredith…"_

_She stopped dead in her tracks and closed her eyes._

"Meredith…can we talk?" She turned around to look at him. He looked tired and worried.

Suddenly the chatter between her friends in the living room stopped. They didn't want to miss this.

"Not here," she said, looking towards the living room.

"Please," he begged.

She looked at him from afar. Searching his eyes for his thoughts. "Come on," she motioned him to follow her upstairs. He willingly followed. They went into her room, and she shut the door behind them. The last thing she needed was her friends hearing what they were about to say.

Meredith sat on the edge of her bed, and Derek stood a far distance away from her. They both knew that would be better. When they got too close things always seemed to get out of control.

"I was going to come over earlier but-"

"Lockdown. I know," she finished for him.

"Right." Things got quiet for a second.

"Why are you here?"

"I don't really know, but I just…I can't stay away."

"Does Addison know you're here?" That name cut through him like a knife. He hated hearing her name coming from the woman he loved, the woman he had hurt so badly.

"No," he confessed.

"Then you should go," she looked away from him.

"Meredith, I don't want to go. I want to talk! We never talk! I want to know what last night meant. I need to know."

"What did it mean?" Her voice was strictly sarcastic. She was angry, "It meant that yet again I'm the dirty mistress. I'm the whore sleeping with her married ex. The same married man that shattered her before!" Her words crushed him. "And for a second time, I'll be putting back together the pieces of my broken life because I slipped up. I let you in." Her voice was cracking as she continued to raise her voice. "I can't keep doing this Derek! You need to get out of my life. I can't breathe when you stand there and look at me! I can't think when you say the lies I want to hear! I can't keep letting you do this to me!"

"Mere, please. I'm not here to hurt you," he spoke softly.

"Then what? What are you here to do, Derek?" She was breaking down in front of him. She hated that he could do this to her.

He took a few steps closer, and knelt down next to her. He slid his hand under her chin and raised her head to look at him. "Meredith Grey, if you'll take me, I'm in. I'm in this to stay. I love you! I can't pretend that my marriage is going to last. I can't pretend that I don't need you, because I do."

Tears were falling down her face, and Derek whipped them away. He pushed a piece of stray hair away from her beautiful eyes.

"Derek, you need to go," she whispered.

"Why can't you ever talk to me? I never know how you feel. I need to know. I really have to to know this time!"

"I can't be your home wrecker anymore."

The hurting look in her eyes was tearing him apart. "You won't be. I want you. I choose you," he would do anything to stop her from crying at this very moment. "Do you believe me when I tell you that I need you?"

"Yes. I believe you because I need you, too. But I can't keep putting my life back together every time you decide to knock it down."

"I'm not going to hurt you Meredith, ever again. I'm in this, until the end. You have to believe me. I know it's hard, but you have to trust me."

She wanted to. She wanted nothing more in this world than to trust him. She just didn't know if she could yet, but once more, she found herself tangled in the sheets with him. There was something irresistible about him. Something beyond just sexual attraction. Love. And she knew this was something she couldn't just run away from. She needed to stop running away.

They fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms. She felt safe, and it was something she wanted to get used to.


	4. Chapter 4

They woke up the next morning to the sound of her phone ringing. "Uhh," Derek groaned, "What the hell is that?"

"Phone," Meredith said, reaching over him to the nightstand beside him. Derek wrapped his arms around her middle and rolled them both over so he was on top of her. She giggled as he started kissing her neck, then down her chest. "Phone!" She couldn't stop laughing.

"I promise you that what is about to happen is better than any phone conversation you'll ever have," he said smiling. He was happier now than he had ever been. It was like being able to see her and hold her in the morning was all he was living for.

She smiled and gave him one heated kiss before she put her finger on his lips and rolled out from under him. She answered her phone, "Hello?" She giggled again he pulled her close to him. Her being away and out of her grasp was more than he could handle.

"Good morning, beautiful. You sound happy," of course, it was Finn. Meredith instantly pulled away from Derek's grasp and sat up.

Derek looked at her with the expression that said '_what?_'. "Hey, Finn," she said looking at him. She could feel the guilt bubbling inside her. Derek stayed away, waiting to see what she wanted him to do. "Now really isn't a good time to talk. I'll call you later, ok?"

She hung up the phone. She laid back down in bed and put her hand over her face. She couldn't believe she had done this to Finn. He deserved better than this.

"Do you want me to go?" Derek asked.

"I think that would be best."

Derek sat and looked at her. The look on his face showed how much he hurt. He didn't want to leave. He didn't want to be 'the other guy' and he didn't want her to be 'the dirty mistress'. He wanted more. He wanted forever.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He tried.

"Not right now, ok? Later."

"Alright," he pulled his clothes back on and walked over to her side of the bed, "Meredith, can I see you tonight?"

It was quiet for a minute. "Ok. Tonight."

"I'm going to tell Addison. I'm telling her tonight that our marriage is over," he waited to see how his words affected her. "Whether or not you choose to be with me, I'm leaving her."

Meredith felt that nagging crying feeling again. Her life was taking a new turn, but this time she was in control.


	5. Chapter 5

She downed another shot of tequila as she sat and waited. The alcohol sat warmly in her stomach. Solving her problems with booze was so classically Meredith Grey. She watched her phone ring for the fifth time that night. Finn had been trying to talk to her all night, but she didn't know what to say to him, so she had been avoiding his calls.

She heard a knock at the door. _10 o'clock, right on time, as always._ She stood up to answer the door and held the countertop as the world moved under her feet for a second.

She opened the door and instantly that McDreamy smile made her melt. "Hey," he greeted her, wrapping his arms around her waist. He could smell the alcohol on her, "Been drinking without me?" He laughed and kissed her cheek.

"Maybe," she smiled, looking up at him.

"You're drunk, which means I could easily take you upstairs right now…," he said playfully. She giggled as he kissed her. "Or we could do what I came here to do, and talk."

"And what do you choose to do?" She was glad that the alcohol was making things easier.

"Hmmm…I'm not sure yet…," he kissed her, hard. She could feel the butterflies scattering around her stomach as he pulled her closer to him. He pulled away, "I think we should talk first." She frowned at first, but his eyes convinced her that this was the right choice.

"Alright," she half stumbled as she followed her had, which was being pulled toward the living room by Derek. They sat down and he watched her for a moment, trying to decide if she was going to remember this in the morning or not, "Talk," she insisted.

"I told Addison everything. I signed the papers."

"You're divorced?"

"I am officially divorced. And Meredith, if you'll take me, I want nothing more than to be with you. I love you."

The words sunk it, and they felt amazing. Words have never made her feel as good as they did right now. No more lies. Finally, he was hers.

"I love you, too, Derek," she leaned forward and hugged him. He held her close. He never wanted to let her go. "Now about taking me upstairs…," she playfully teased. If she had been sober, she would have waited. She would have found more to talk about, but the alcohol was messing with her head, and all she could think about was getting him upstairs, naked.

Once everything was said and done, they laid wrapped up in each other. They heard the door open and close downstairs. "Sounds like someone is home. Think they'll be excited to know we're back together?" He laughed.

"I hope so," she smiled up at him and gave him a quick kiss.

"Meredith?" They heard someone yell from the stairs.

"Shit!" Meredith quickly flew out of bed and wrapped the sheets around her while Derek grabbed his pants and slid them on. "Clothes. I need clothes!" she whispered to him as she found her bra and slid on her underwear. He threw his shirt at her, and she slid it over her shoulders. Derek couldn't help but notice how adorable she looked in his big shirt on her tiny frame. God, he loved her.

She didn't have enough time to button the front of the shirt closed before her bedroom door opened and Finn walked in. "Wow. Um…I tried to call you…I see why you weren't answering."

"No, Finn. It's not-It's not as bad as it looks!" She tried to think of something as fast as she could. Anything. Anything to not crush him.

"Really? Because it looks like you're cheating on me with your former boyfriend. Am I wrong?" She was quiet. "That's what I thought."

"Look, Finn-," Derek was going to try to apologize, but Finn cut him off.

"No. The guy that's fucking my girlfriend doesn't get to explain himself to me!" He was getting angry.

"Hey! You don't talk about her like that!" Derek yelled, taking a stop closer to Finn.

"Guys, stop," Meredith interjected.

"Meredith, make him leave," Finn said, not taking his eyes of Derek.

"Finn…"

"No, Mere. It's fine," Derek spoke, still not taking his eyes from the man who he very strongly wanted to hit. "I'll go. You two can talk." He threw his under-shirt on, and walked over to her. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, at work." Meredith nodded and let him walk out.

"So it's Derek."

"I'm sorry," her voice was shaky as she spoke.

He took a deep breath, "Can I ask why?"

"You are a great guy. You are a wonderful guy, and you may even be the better guy, but-"

"He's the one."

"And I wish he wasn't."

"He's going to hurt you again." She nodded, partly agreeing with him. There was always the chance that Derek could hurt her again, but she was hoping, this time, things would once turn out in her favor.

She brushed tears from her cheeks and he continued, "And when he does, I won't be here." Meredith nodded again. She couldn't come up with words. "Take care of yourself, Meredith."

Before she knew it, he was gone.


End file.

Grey's Anatomy, Romance