Grey's Anatomy 1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: I'm In Here**

She knew how it started. It was just a little on the depressing side. Okay, not a little. A lot. It was a lot depressing. Like a sink hole of every regret you've ever had depressing. So, she lied when anyone asked. Basically. Well, not basically. Actually. She actually lied. But that wasn't the important part. The important part was that she was moving on. She was being happy.

Whether she liked it or not.

She was getting off track. She knew how it started.

It was ten months ago. The plane crash had just happened, and Mark and Arizona were in ICU, and they were about to put Lexie in the ground. Like she said: depressing.

And Molly Grey Thompson descended upon the hospital like a vulture, half-crazy with grief, half general ordering her troops. She wanted her big sister's funeral to mean something, to be perfect. And her other big sister, Meredith, was in no shape to help.

She wanted someone to sing, and somehow she found out that the only people able and willing were April, Callie, and Bailey. Bailey said yes because she knew that the remaining Grey sisters needed something to be easy for once. Callie said yes because of Mark despite the fact that he and Arizona were still in very critical condition and couldn't attend.

April didn't know why she did it. She only knew she couldn't say no.

And so they sang, the three of them, in their black dresses with tears running down their cheeks. No one mentioned it afterward to her. Except Jackson. He told her that it was beautiful, and she wanted to laugh in her black dress with tears running down her cheeks because no one had ever told her that anything about her was beautiful. Much less at his ex-girlfriend's funeral.

She was just trying to help pay tribute to Lexie at the time.

And then Sloan got worse and died and Alex cut off Arizona's leg and she went back to Ohio and Cristina went to Mayo. But things worked out eventually. And now she was with Matt and the Harper Avery Foundation helped buy the hospital, so she wasn't going to lose her job for the third time. Things were okay again.

Except she sang at Lexie's funeral and she couldn't get it out of her head.

But she liked to think that maybe something good came out of it. Like maybe while giving tribute to Lexie, they opened themselves up to and for each other. And even while giving tribute for Lexie was really sad and it sucked, they discovered something that could give them a little joy. Even though it took eight months to get there.

She knew how it started. Callie decided she needed to have fun, and of course, she and Arizona did a little asking around before inviting Bailey and April.

So they were here at Sound Check, a little hole in the wall bar that Joe had recommended to Callie, and in turn, she introduced it to Bailey and April and by extension Arizona and Ben and Matt. The owner was Joe's cousin, Phil, and per Joe, they could squeeze in a number whenever they wanted to, and somehow it became the Thursday night thing to go to Sound Check. The clubs itself was less like a dance hall and more like a coffee house with low lighting and always live music with a really good house band. They had been coming there for two months before anyone found out.

Like she said, she knew how it started.

She just didn't know what the hell she was going to do now when every freaking body she knew was in the audience, looking at her and Jackson had brought Stephanie and Alex was grinning because he had bet Cristina she was going to choke. Easy money, he said. And he was probably right because even though Matt was perfect and a virgin and hot and he liked her and his hand was on her waist, all she could see was Jackson's eyes on her and it wasn't fair. He ended it. He didn't want her anymore, and she really wanted to move on but he just wouldn't stop looking at her.

And everyone was going to laugh and Jackson just needed to stop looking at her.

"Kepner, you all right?" She jerked at the question, swiveling around to stare doe-eyed at Dr. Shepherd, her mouth forming a perfect O, eyes wide and brimming with tears. He seemed to understand because he reached over and clasped her shoulder. "I'm sure you'll do fine."

"Fine?! She kicks ass. Serious ass." Callie defended, smiling brightly. "We're amazing. Just wait and see. We do this every week. Just because you losers just decided to grace us with your presence doesn't mean Kepner is going to choke."

"Oh, she's choking. Look at her. She can't even form words." Alex disagreed loudly, and Cristina backhanded him lightly, grinning widely.

"She's not choking. Kepner is tough. Virgin superpowers, be damned."

That spurned April to find her voice. "Cristina!"

She looked wildly around for Matt, afraid he might have overheard, but he was over by the bar laughing with Owen as they ordered a round for the group. Her eyes met Jackson's across the table, his arm slung loosely around Stephanie's chair as she chattered endlessly with Jo. It wasn't hard. As she said, he wouldn't stop looking at her. The intensity of his eyes caused a soft gasp of air to leave her mouth. She was so in love with him. She was so screwed. He really needed to stop looking at her. She couldn't breathe when he looked at her like that.

Callie's eyes met Arizona's in a passionate gaze as they both saw the look shared by the two attendings. She was worried for both of them. Jackson because of his connection to Mark and April because in healing from the tragedy of the plane crash, they had really became good friends.

"Ladies and gents, I present to you our Thursday night special from the good, old docs at Seattle Grace Mercy West. Put your hands together and give a warm welcome to April Kepner and Callie Torres!" The bass player introduced and April felt her limbs go numb as Callie pushed her to get out of her seat.

The clapping and hollering was encouraging and loud and nerve-wracking. April had never felt so completely helpless in her life.

"You sure about the song choice, April? We can change it. Last chance." Callie whispered as they approached the stage.

"N-no. It's okay. This is the only honest thing in my life. I'm not going to ruin it by changing what I planned to say. To sing. Whatever." April shook her head quickly. "No one will know anyway."

"Ballsy. I like it." Callie paused. "He may surprise you, Kepner."

They took the small wooden stage and everything quieted. Everything stilled, and April didn't dare look, but she could feel his eyes on her. She could always feel his eyes on her. The chords began, and April didn't care anymore. She was trying, so hard, to be happy. And this made her happy, and just because he decided to show up in her happy place with his stupid intern didn't mean that it made any difference. Like she said, this was the only honest thing in her life, and she wasn't going to give that to him like she had her heart and her virginity. And so she began to sing.

_I'm in here, can anybody see me? _

_Can anybody help? _

_I'm in here, a prisoner of history _

_Can anybody help?_

April took the lower lead part with Callie singing harmony and the higher pitch. It was beautiful, and the other doctors were blown away. They did a beautiful job at Lexie's service, but this was different.

"Dammit, Kepner," Alex complained as Cristina held out her hand with a malicious grin on her face and he smacked two twenty dollar bills in it. Owen's brow furrowed momentarily in displeasure, but he kept it to himself. Meredith, however, did not.

"That's one of us up there. Show some support." She berated hand on her swollen belly, eyes shooting to Alex's side of the table. It was like there was a big rift. The older doctors and Cristina and Meredith were on one side, and Jackson and Alex and the interns on the other. Meredith didn't like it. She appreciated the camaraderie Alex had found in Jo, but Jackson and Stephanie were a completely other matter. And she didn't even want to think about their ex-virgin and her paramedic. She had enough to deal with as it was.

"Whatever. Easy come, easy go." Alex retorted, and Cristina cackled loudly, claiming the next round was on her, snapping the two bills between her fingers.

"Leave it up to April to pull it off when I have money on the line. Typical." Alex grumbled, and Matt looked a little put out in all his awkwardness, but Meredith saw Jackson's eyes flash. He was probably already on edge. He hadn't said much all night. She shifted to say something when Cristina stood, pulling on Alex's arm.

"Don't be a sore loser, Evil Spawn. Come on; help me get some more drinks."

And Meredith's eyes snapped back to Jackson, his eyes were hot with passion and rage and hurt and she didn't know what all else, his jaw was clenched. He was head over ass in love with April, but there was an intern and a paramedic and Meredith just knew she was watching a train wreck in slow motion.

And she just couldn't look away.

_Can't you hear my call?_

_Are you coming to get me now?_

_I've been waiting for you to come rescue me_

_I need you to hold_

_All of the sadness I cannot, living inside of me_

_I'm in here, can anybody see me?_

_Can anybody help?_

_I'm In Here - Sia_

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**Author's Note: I have no idea where the idea for this came from, but it probably had something to do with how beautiful the cast of Grey's sings. This is a multi-chaptered story that focuses mainly on Jackson/April but it does have a well-rounded ensemble cast. Enjoy! And please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two: Poison and Wine**

"Who knew of all the men _your_ husband would be the one to be musically inclined?"

Meredith's words caused Cristina to guffaw loudly, the tequila shooters she had ingested already sending her halfway to the land of pleasant drunkenness, dark eyes dancing with pleasure. Meredith just smiled contemplatively and shook her head, twisting the ginger ale bottle between her fingers.

"I just can't believe Kepner got him to agree to this." Cristina finally answered.

"Less April, more Calliope." Arizona disagreed with a perky grin that showed her obvious affection for her pushy wife. "She has a theory that if Owen does it, the rest of the boys won't be so adamant about saying no."

"I don't see what the problem is. We save lives every day and they are all acting like a bunch of high schoolers in the senior play." Bailey pursed her lips in disgust with a semi-audible hmmm for good measure.

"Not like high schoolers in the senior play," Derek defended himself and the others as he slid into the seat next to Meredith. "More like accomplished professionals who know they have no business playing karaoke on Thursday nights."

"Chicken," countered Bailey.

"Touché." He smirked, kissing his wife's brow, caressing her pregnant belly in greeting.

"Dr. Shepherd," greeted Jackson as he glided into the seat next to Cristina, shrugging off his coat.

"Where's Grumpy?" Cristina spun and demanded.

"Why should I know that?" He asked softly, taking the beer offered to him as Alex and Jo approached. The large table was almost full now – Arizona, Bailey, Cristina, Meredith, Derek, Jackson, Alex, and Jo with Matt and Ben, home for a long weekend, at the bar, chatting over football statistics.

"Excuse me! I thought you were the one sleeping with her," Cristina smiled, half-malicious, half-pleasantly buzzed. Jackson's sharp eyes –more blue than green now-narrowed in frustration. Meredith's smile dimmed as she watched him, sipping slowly from her ginger ale, hand displayed over her belly, covered by her husband's.

"Sleeping with her doesn't mean I know where she is 24 hours a day," He defended, and Cristina threw her hands up in mock surrender, backing out of the conversation.

"You all right, Jackson?" Arizona asked, softly, standing up to go the bar, stopping inconspicuously by his chair. He looked up at her with a hard expression that softened almost immediately.

"Y-yeah. I'll be fine." He swore, the fire in his eyes darkening somewhat, and she nodded, accepting his words, but knowing by the look on his face that something was seriously wrong with the other doctor. Since Mark was gone, she had felt this strange pull to make sure he was okay. As much as she hated the younger peds surgeon some days, she would want someone to do the same for Alex if she was the one who had died. The mentor-mentee relationship wasn't one that she or Mark had taken lightly. It meant something to them.

Arizona walked to the bar slowly, brows furrowed.

"You all right, Dr. R?" Phil asked from behind the bar, pouring shots of vodka for two accountants down at the end.

"Yeah, just a long day. How much longer before Dr. Hunt goes on?" She turned and looked at the little CPA playing Michael Bolton classics on the piano, singing earnestly in the microphone. Phil laughed with her and let her know that it wouldn't be long.

"But maybe the lovely lady behind you would be able to tell you better than I would." He smiled and then acknowledged, "Dr. Torres."

"Hi, Phil," Callie smiled, wrapping her arms around Arizona, nudging the corner of her jaw with her nose. "Isn't my wife pretty, Phil?"

"Gorgeous, Dr. Torres." He agreed, walking away to wipe down the bar with a grin.

"Well, what has put you in such a good mood?" Arizona asked.

"We're healing. All of us. Finally healing. I know Mark and Lexie would want this, and I was so mad for so long that he was gone, but if he had to die, at least, they got that last moment, and at least he didn't have to face life without her for very long. She was the love of his life, and they didn't get to have a life, and that's sad. But they are together now."

"At least."

"At least."

"We're all going to be okay, Callie."

"I know." She paused. "So what has you looking all melancholy besides my Mark-Lexie spiel?"

"Jackson. I sort of feel responsible for him because of …" Arizona trailed off and Callie picked up where she left off.

"Because of Mark."

"Exactly."

"He and Kepner are going to have to work this out." Callie turned and looked at the table where Matt and Jackson sat with everyone else.

"Yeah," Arizona agreed, and then spun around to stare at her wife, Callie's arm slipping from encircling her to around her shoulders. Then an idea struck her. "You should talk to him."

"Arizona…" Callie was hesitant. She didn't know him that well, and she was just becoming good friends with Kepner. She didn't know what she would say. What in hell would she say?

"Just say what's in your heart. It took a shooting for us to get our heads out of our butts, and we lived. Luckily. It took a plane crash for Mark and Lexie."

"And they didn't."

"No, they didn't."

And the announcer took the stage. "We have a special treat for you tonight. Please give a big hand for Dr. April Kepner and the Chief of Surgery himself: Owen Hunt!"

"What are they singing?" Arizona asked.

"Nothing that's going to please Yang and Avery, that's for sure."

Back at the table, no one knew what exactly they were about to witness. Cristina had had more than her fair share, but everyone else was pretty sober, doing their own thing. Meredith, on the other hand, was still keeping her eye on Jackson, sipping his beer slowly, and very quiet.

His own version of dark and twisty.

The songs started out really slow as Owen and April made their way to the microphones. Everyone waited with bated breath to hear Owen's debut, and then he opened his mouth.

_You only know what I want you to…_

And Cristina's drunken smile turned sober and Meredith smiled at her person. Her guy could sing. And they already knew April could, too.

_I know everything you don't want me to…_

And Owen again, and Cristina gasped silently.

_Your mouth is poison, your mouth is wine…_

_You think your dreams are the same as mine…_

Meredith spared a glance at Jackson, the smile wiping clear off of her face. His back was rigid, his face set, and his brow drew tightly together as he watched April on stage. And when they sung the chorus, he stormed to the back of the bar, beer grasped tightly in his grasp. Meredith moved to follow him, but Callie caught her eye and shook her head. Meredith understood. Callie was going after him.

Callie followed him toward the tiny hallway where the bathrooms were and watched as he fell against the wall, his head pressed between his hands.

"You okay?"

He looked up, surprised she was the one to come after him. "I'm okay. Go back, see the show."

_I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back…_

_The less I give, the more I get back…_

_Ooh, your hands can heal; your hands can bruise…_

_I don't have a choice but I still choose you…_

"I can't." Her words stunned him again. She could tell, but he looked down and wouldn't meet her eyes. "Because star-crossed lovers aren't romantic, Jackson. They're sad. And lonely. And in Mark and Lexie's case, gone too soon to ever see a real happy ending, okay? And time is one thing there is never enough of …f-for anyone, and I go home every day to my kid and my wife and we are so happy! So happy and I look at Arizona now and there isn't enough time. There will never be enough time, and you are just throwing it away."

He had tears in his eyes when he looked up. "I know."

_I don't love you but I always will…_

_I don't love you but I always will…_

_I don't love you but I always will…_

_I always will, I always will, I always will…_

_I always will, I always will…_

_Poison & Wine - The Civil Wars_

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**Author's Note: I had hoped to have this up sooner, but nevertheless...hope you enjoyed. Review! Review! Review! I loved reading what you guys thought about the story.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three: Don't Let Go**

He didn't understand how someone could make him feel like she did and it just end. Everything. Their friendship. The love and respect they had for each other. It was just over and somehow he was losing her. Or she was already lost. And he couldn't sleep and he couldn't eat and he couldn't breathe. All he did was miss her.

He didn't know much, but he knew she was gone. Even when she was right next to him.

And he wanted to be so mad at her for letting him go, but really he had let her go first.

He had never wanted anything like he had wanted his beautiful best friend and the baby that never was and the life he could see with them, but that wasn't what she had wanted. At the time it felt like she hadn't wanted him, and that stung more than he would ever care to remember.

So, stupidly, he had ended it supposedly because their relationship had run its course. More accurately in the lies he told himself to make it through the day: because she wasn't where he was. She wasn't all in, and he wasn't the guy to wait around. That's what he told Lexie once upon a time before a plane fell on her and she died and he took his best friend's virginity and realized that she was the freaking love of his life.

But he didn't admit the truth to himself until it was too late. He had already started sleeping with Stephanie and then April began dating the fucking nerdy paramedic.

The truth was that she was scared. And he knew that. He knew her better than anyone, but, at the time, he was hurt, and he couldn't see anyone but himself.

And now he was losing her. Or she was already lost. He didn't know anymore.

All he knew was that this couldn't keep going on. Mark was right. If you loved someone, you had to tell them. No matter what. Even if it burned your life to the ground. Especially if it burned your life to the ground.

Jackson just didn't know where to start anymore, but coming here helped. Looking at April helped. It cleared his mind in the ways only wielding a scalpel had helped before.

And he needed a clear head. Because he had to burn his life down, so he could rebuild it.

"Jackson!" Alex yelled waving from the surgeons usual table where the usual suspects sat, discussing different things and all Jackson could think was that Matt shouldn't be here with his arm over the back of April's chair. He shouldn't be here at all, and Stephanie and one of the other interns—he couldn't remember her name, but Cristina called her Mousy or something—shouldn't be sitting at the end of the table. Mark and Lexie should be there. They shouldn't be in the ground, and April shouldn't be with the fucking nerdy paramedic.

But only one of those things he could fix.

"There's my baby boy! Come here and give your mama a kiss!"

"Mom! What are you doing here?" His surprised eyes shifted to the others at the table with suspicion and distress as Catherine wrapped herself around his broad shoulders. Not shockingly, the others wouldn't meet his gaze.

"Well, when Richard told me about this little haunt, I couldn't help myself but to insist he bring me!" She slipped back into her seat beside the former chief, turning toward April but still speaking to Jackson. "Besides when someone told me this little bird could sing, how could I miss it?"

"Thank you, Dr. Avery." April murmured, picking at the label on her beer, her cheeks red from embarrassment. She never had handled praise well.

"No need to thank me yet. I hold all judgments until after I hear you, baby."

"She's pretty good," Callie said, slyly, winking at April.

"Eh, I've yet to be impressed by any of you." Alex said, taking a swig of his beer, probably not realizing he had just proverbially stepped in it.

"Excuse me?" Bailey, Callie, and Arizona said, all swinging around to stare him down. He shrugged belatedly realizing his mistake, nervously setting the beer down. Meredith and Cristina fought smirks and he frantically looked around the table for an ally and found none.

Regardless of opinion, everybody else knew better than to say a word at the look on Miranda Bailey's face.

"I-I m-mean, you all do a very nice job, but so far, I haven't seen anything ex-exactly awe worthy." He paused. "Ma'am."

"Oh. Oh." Bailey's wide eyes stared him down. "You want to see something impressive. You want to see something awe worthy, huh, Karev?"

"I think so," Callie put in, her dark eyes narrow and intent on Alex's face.

"Oh, we will show you something awe-worthy, Dr. Karev. Something impressive. Don't you worry." Bailey said, standing, shoulders braced for a battle, and Jackson winced at the nervous wide-eyed look on April's face. She didn't do well in confrontations of this kind.

Nights like the Boards—the bar fight, giving him her virginity—they didn't happen often in the world of April Kepner.

"Dr. Torres. Dr. Kepner. Get up, c'mon. We have reputations to uphold." Bailey told them, and they both stood—April reluctant and Callie determined. They marched off like soldiers to war, and Jackson suppressed a chuckle at the thought. April's mantra ran through his mind. She always said she was a soldier.

"Oh, God, Alex, what _have_ you gotten us into?" Meredith asked, with an almost sing-song lilt to her voice, and Derek guffawed with a bright smile on his face, running his hand down the back of Meredith's head. Cristina sniggered into her beer, and Catherine's face crinkled into a smile.

"I think it's going to be marvelous."

"You would." Jackson smiled at his mother, taking April's forgotten chair as Matt took a page and had to leave and suddenly Jackson's night was looking up. Even if his mother was there.

"I'm inclined to agree with Meredith. I know Bailey. This could get ugly." Richard tossed in, lips pursed, brows high, and eyes wide.

"I think a little encouragement is good for the soul. Brings out a little healthy competition." Arizona smiled, and then her face turned into a frown as she turned to Alex. "Even if the competitive-causing encouragement is questioning the abilities of my extraordinarily talented wife."

"Uh, sorry. Or whatever."

"Hush, here they come. I want to hear this." Catherine shushed the table as the three women took the stage and the lights dimmed.

"Don't we all," Cristina laughed, and Owen shushed her.

_What's it gonna be 'cuz I can't pretend…_

_Don't you want to be more than friends…_

_Hold me tight and don't let go…_

Callie vocalized over the top of the lyrics, hitting notes that had had Alex's eyebrows rising steadily on his forehead.

_Don't let go…_

_You have the right to lose control…_

_Don't let go…_

"Damn," whistled Owen, looking down to the wide eyes of Alex Karev and around to the others at the table.

"Okay, fine. Callie has pipes and the rest of them aren't half bad. Happy now?" Alex huffed as Bailey began singing the first verse solo.

"Oh, I think we are about to be sur—," Meredith trailed off as all three of them sang the bridge and the chorus again with Bailey vocalizing.

"Like Owen said: damn." Derek whistled, and Jackson stifled a laugh, and then, like he always was, he was frozen when April opened her mouth.

_I often fantasize the stars above are watching you…_

_They know my heart and speak to yours…_

_Like only lovers do if I could wear your clothes…_

_I'd pretend I was you and lose control…_

"Oh, my." Catherine said.

And then it was April's turn to vocalize during the bridge and chorus, and when she hit the high note between the two, it completely stunned the table.

"Never would've thought sounds like that could come out of Kepner."

"Cristina!" Owen and Meredith chastised, but Jackson just narrowed his eyes.

"I'm just saying." She defended, paused, and then leaned toward Alex and Meredith. "Oh, come on, like you two weren't thinking it."

And then Callie took back over with Bailey and April harmonizing, and then the last few rounds of the chorus was a free for all of three women taking turns hitting high notes and making Alex feel like an idiot.

_What's it gonna be, don't let go…_

_Don't you wanna be, don't let go…_

_Hold me tight and don't let go, don't let go…_

_Don't Let Go – En Vogue_

The rest of the night went smoothly. Well, as smoothly as nights out with surgeons from Seattle Grace Mercy West went, and eventually the table dwindled. First, Catherine and Richard left along with Bailey, Owen, and Cristina. Something about early starts in the morning. The interns left when Jackson made it obvious that he didn't want to talk to Stephanie. He just wanted to talk to April and his friends and to pretend the world wasn't upside down for a few hours. Stephanie was obviously pissed, and Jackson didn't blame her. He just couldn't bring himself to care. Alex, Callie, and Arizona went next; and then Meredith and Derek, and eventually it ended up just Jackson and April.

"I should get home," she murmured, turning to get her jacket off the back of her chair, not meeting his eyes, obviously nervous as hell. Before he could think straight—maybe because he was—his hand found its way over the top of hers.

"Don't."

"Jackson—," she trailed off, cheeks turning redder by the second, eyes darkening in that way they did that set his blood automatically to boil.

"I know, I know. Just- just stay with me for a minute. Please. Just sit with me for a minute." He almost begged hating the sound of desperation tinged in his voice, hating the fact that he would gladly beg just to touch her again. Even if only for a moment.

He missed her.

April cocked her head to the side, her auburn curls cascading down one shoulder with a confused look on her face. "Jackson, I can't be your friend. I have a Matt now. You have a Stephanie. But I still— I can't be your friend."

"No one is asking you to be," He swore, and then his lips were on hers.

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**Author's Note: LOVING all the frickin' reviews. You guys are amazing. I hope you like it. Please please please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Girl On Fire**

"Where is she? Where is April—Dr. Kepner?" Jackson frantically panted, having run all the way from his new office on the second floor after having heard about the incident in the ER. Apparently, the police had brought in a couple and two kids from a domestic disturbance, and the husband had gone after the wife again in the ER and April and Meredith had been in the way. The scrub nurse said they were fine and the incident had been taken care of, but he still needed to see for himself. He needed to see April.

Now.

"I'm sorry, sir. She has already left for the night. Would you like me to page her?"

"No, I, uh, I know where she is." He hustled out the door and rushed down by the water front to Sound Check, heart pounding frantically in his chest. Things had been awkward since last week…when he kissed her and she ran away, this horrible look on her face. He had ended things with Stephanie. He knew it was highly inappropriate since he was now on the board and she was a surgical intern. He felt sort of bad. Not because he ended things with her, but because he didn't feel bad that he had ended things with her.

If he had never slept with Stephanie after Bailey and Ben's wedding, he might've been able to work things out with April before she had met Matt.

Fucking nerdy paramedic.

He burst through the doors, wild-eyed, a mad man. One look and Alex met him head on, hands palm out, a defensive move.

"Dude. She's okay. They're both okay. All right? A little banged up, but already talking war stories. They checked out both of them, baby too. Everybody is fine." Jackson still didn't look like he believed him. "Dude, I swear."

"Okay. Okay." Jackson deflated, face going from worried to nothing in a split second. It was like all the emotion had just abandoned him in his relief.

"They aren't here yet. Derek, Cristina, and Owen are with them. They had to talk to the police. File a report. That kind of thing." Alex hesitated, and Jackson could see the stress in his colleague and one-time roommate's eyes.

"It was bad, wasn't it?"

"They're pretty banged up. Don't worry though. Kepner got a few shots in herself, trying to keep him away from the wife and Mer, and the wife hit him with an IV pole, and then the security guard took him down." Alex's eyes glowed dangerously, and Jackson could see the protectiveness in the other surgeon. "Guy is lucky as hell I wasn't the one there."

"Me too, Karev. Me too." Jackson looked around and saw the table—intern and paramedic-less—staring at him. "Let's sit down. The natives are becoming restless."

"How are you, Jackson?" Arizona asked, brows knitted and lips pursed, obviously knowing exactly how he was, as he and Alex approached. Jackson fought the urge to roll his eyes as Phil brought him over a double scotch.

"I—I'm fine, Dr. Robbins. Thank you for asking." He and Alex sat down and silence overtook the table for a moment, and then Richard lifted his tonic—no gin—and smiled waywardly with a melancholy grimace.

"To April Kepner's father, wherever he is, who taught her how to punch, to Ellis Grey who taught Meredith how to stand her ground, to the security guards who acted without hesitation, and to Ms. Green who probably saved April and Meredith's lives after they tried to protect her."

They all chimed in their agreement, and Jackson grimaced himself when he thought about tiny April trying to physically defend herself, a pregnant woman, and beaten down patient.

"But we come through." Callie said in reverence, and then she swallowed, taking a moment.

"We come through," Jackson agreed.

"On a lighter note, who here would've loved to see little April Kepner opening up a can of whoop ass on that alcoholic wife-beating pig?" Bailey laughed, with a hint of sadness still in her eyes.

Alex snorted.

"Who knew she had it in her?"

"I did," Jackson murmured, almost inaudibly, staring down into the amber swirl of liquor, eyes cloudy, brow furrowed.

"Yes," Richard smiled. "I remember. Her bar fight at the boards."

"April Kepner, scrapper." Callie laughed.

"People can always surprise you," Arizona added, eyes snapping to the door. "They're here."

Alex and Jackson were almost instantly on their feet, but Bailey and Callie each laid hands on their arms to halt them. Cristina and Owen were the first ones through the door, Owen grim and Cristina, as always, ready to explain for Meredith as she came forward with her hands up and ready, knowing they would need an explanation.

"No tears. No hugs. No talking about it. Got it?"

"We got it." Jackson said, and she turned her fierce eyes toward Alex.

"Evil Spawn?"

"He said we got it." Alex said angrily, staring at Cristina. Their eyes held for a moment before Cristina nodded her affirmation. With her obvious permission, Owen walked back to the door and waved.

And then Derek escorted April and Meredith in the bar, and all Jackson could see was red.

Meredith had bandages on her wrists, a busted lip, and a cut on her cheek. Her pregnant belly still bulged under a sweater that was obviously Derek's, sleeves pushed up to her elbows, as she made her way through the crowd. Jackson had never realized how small she was until that moment.

And then April stepped from behind her, allowing him his first real taste of what rage and helplessness felt like. Nothing had ever felt like this. Not the shooting; not losing Mark and Lexie; not realizing April didn't want the life he had laid out at her feet.

She looked like hell. If he had thought Meredith was small, then April was tiny. She was so damn tiny standing there with a black eye and bruises around her neck.

"You look like you went 3 rounds with Rocky," Alex acknowledged, a joking tone to his voice, but steel in his dark eyes.

"We have ourselves two badasses on our hands," Owen smiled tightly, and Jackson watched as April attempted a smile that came out as more grimace than grin. She slid into the seat between him and Alex silently as Meredith, Derek, Owen, and Cristina all gathered seats and sat, and conversation went on, albeit awkwardly at first. Meredith seemed to be more adjusted than April because April didn't say a word.

She just looked so far away, and he couldn't stand it. His hand slipped into hers quickly, leisurely, almost like a habit, and her fingers squeezed his back. His heart stampeded in his chest.

The night went on and Callie eventually took the stage. April kept his hand in hers.

_She's just a girl and she's on fire…_

_Hotter than a fantasy, lonely like a highway…_

_She's living in a world and it's on fire…_

_Filled with catastrophe, but she knows she can fly away…_

April's eyes met his, and for a moment, they just stared at each other, and then her hand slipped out of his, and she headed toward the bathroom. He stayed seated for a second, and then his eyes wandered toward that back hallway where he and Callie had spoken a few weeks ago.

Meredith's eyes met his, eyebrow quirked, thin lips almost but not quite pursed, and then with a quick nod, she decided.

"Go."

He was out of his seat so fast that he missed Derek's eyes swinging to Meredith.

"What was that?"

"He's her knight in shining whatever. He's her person."

"And he's in love with her." Derek added with a small grin.

"Yes, he is in love with her." Meredith conceded, kissing him lightly on his cheek, rubbing her hand along his jaw.

"Better be careful. You're looking more bright and shiny by the minute," He accused, and Meredith laughed loudly.

_This girl is on fire..._

_This girl is on fire..._

_She's walking on fire..._

_This girl is on fire..._

When Jackson found April, she was crouched against the back corner of the hallway, arms around her calves; face pressed into her knees, weeping silently, and the sight shattered Jackson's already broken heart.

"Hey."

She jumped at the sudden sound of his voice, and he cursed himself silently, hands in his pockets, neck bent at an awkward angle, feet shuffling aimlessly.

"Jackson, hey."

"You okay?" Pause. "That was a stupid question. Sorry."

"I-I am. I'm all right. Now. Now I'm all right. Thank you for asking," She timidly said, not meeting his gaze, and suddenly he couldn't help himself. He slid down the wall next to her, throwing his arms over her shoulders, and tucking her into his side with a quick kiss to the top of her red curls.

"You can talk to me, April. No matter what has happened between us…you can always talk to me. Promise."

_Ohhhh oh oh oh…_

_We got our feet on the ground…_

_And we're burning it down…_

_Ohhhh oh oh oh oh…_

_Got our head in the clouds…_

_And we're not coming down…_

She looked shyly up at him, the secrets of the universe seemed to be concealed in the mocha abyss of her eyes, and he could feel himself drowning inside it. It was almost tangible, the physical pull he felt toward her. His chest shuddered with the reality of touching her.

"I was afraid." Her voice was barely a whisper, so low he barely heard it. Maybe he wasn't meant to hear it.

"April…" He trailed off, not sure at all if he wanted to hear what she had to say after all, but knowing that if she really wanted to talk about it, he would listen. He would always listen to her.

"I was afraid, and his hands—they were huge. Huge, grizzly bear hands, and Matt asked me to marry him." She kept ranting. He couldn't hear her anymore. Matt had asked her to marry him. He might really lose her. Like, he might really, really lose her. He couldn't breathe.

_This girl is on fire..._

_This girl is on fire..._

_She's walking on fire..._

_This girl is on fire... _

And then her eyes met his, and she shuddered out a low moan at the intensity and the pain in his eyes. "I didn't say yes. I mean, I didn't say no either. But I didn't say yes."

"Ok," Jackson swallowed, trying to clear the lump in his throat.

"What do I do, Jackson? My life is falling apart, and I don't know what to do. He's perfect. Matt is perfect for me. He's nerdy and awkward and he's a virgin. But I could've died today. And you—what do I do?"

_She's just a girl and she's on fire…_

_Girl On Fire - Alicia Keys_

* * *

**Author's Note: Sorry for taking FOREVER but I hope it was worth the wait. Please let me know what you guys think! Thanks for reading and please review!**


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Grey's Anatomy, Friendship, Romance