Harry Potter bobby pins, cigarettes and wedding bells

The wedding was a nightmare; Lily Evans came to the conclusion as she leaned against the brick wall of the church. The evening was pleasant, despite the near crushing heat of the summertime. The sky was a bright blue with fluffy white clouds looking like cotton. The grass was still green, slowly losing its vibrancy and crisping slightly, but yet still green.

Despite how pretty the country side looked before her, it did not sway her from the common opinion that the wedding within the tiny little church was an endless nightmare.

A part of her craved to kick the heels off and bound for the hills, leaving behind a trail of bobby pins and ribbons. She felt silly with her hair done up, thick coils of red hair slowly escaping the prison of clips and hairspray.

"Lily!"

She sighed, tilting her head back. The sun felt blistering against her bare skin, making her feel uncomfortable standing still. Despite this, though, she'd rather stand stark naked outdoors to be fried and crisped than to return to the wedding.

"Lily Evans!" The voice hissed again.

"Here, mum." She pushed herself away from the brick wall.

A woman emerged, her dark green skirt swirling around her ankles in an elegant fashion. "You shouldn't be running off today, like this. It's important for you to be here." She paused. "Inside."

Lily shrugged. She felt no real desire to be compliant to this idea that Petunia didn't hate her, and that she should be enslaving herself to be _normal_ for the sake of her sister. "I don't think she really wants me here today."

"Don't be silly. It means a great deal to Petunia."

_No, it means a great deal to you_, Lily protested silently. "Just give me a few minutes and I'll be in."

"Alright dear. Just stay out of the sun. Your skin will go all red from the sun."

Lily waited for her mother to return to within the church before spitting out a few curses as she dug inside her clutch.

She'd come to the conclusion that Muggle clothing had no proper place to stow her wand. Alice had ended up strapping it to her thigh beneath her skirt two summers before whenever she ventured outwards into the non-magical realm of things, but Lily had always preferred having it somewhere easier to get a hold of.

She'd charmed both the clutch and her purse with an expanding charm, making it easier to slip a copy of Fitzgerald and her wand for traveling purposes. Now, however, she wanted neither of these things.

She pulled out a cigarette from the carton and lit it, slowly inhaling.

"Didn't take you for a smoker, Evans."

She turned around slowly, straightening her spine and pulling her shoulders back. The golden coloured dress made her feel awkward and her silver heels made walking ridiculous.

She watched the smoke slowly drift in the space between her and him.

"Why are you here?"

James stood before her looking dark against the blisteringly sunny backdrop in his black dress pants and grey button up. His hair looked messed (which was a silly statement, because it always looked messed.) and smile was slightly crooked.

"Little birdie told me you were forced to undergo torture."

She sighed. "Frank, wasn't it?"

"Remus, actually."

"Really?"

"No. Frank."

They broke into uneasy silence.

"You look nice." He said, shoving his hands in his pockets roughly. "The colour looks good."

She gave him a thin smile. "Thank you. You look nice yourself. What is the occasion, Potter?"

"I've decided to aid you in your survival here."

"Pardon?" She took her wand out and mumbled a quick charm to make the cigarette disappear before looking up at him. "You have decided to aid in my what?"

"Survival." He shrugged. "You're miserable here. It's pretty obvious."

Lily rolled her eyes. "You'd be hard pressed not to be miserable here. My sister hates me, and clearly doesn't want me to be part of the wedding. Vernon is a troll, and my mother can't see past the delusion that she's created-that the problem between Petunia and I is simply and only a mere tiff." She ranted, her hands curling into fists. "Except it isn't a tiff, because every time she makes a snide little comment about my freakish behaviour and I have to let it slide which I've been doing for _years_. I can't escape this place."

"Exactly. You can't escape this wedding party, which is why I'm here. I'm going to make sure you have a grand time."

"A grand time?"

He nodded seriously. "It will be swell. All forms of nifty."

She gazed at him blankly.

James looked at Lily quietly. "How about it?"

She sighed, looking towards the church. She could imagine her mother's rising impatience for her to return.

"Come along, Potter."

.

The party was a horrendous affair.

That is, to everyone but two.

And even then. The party was a horrendous affair.

.

It began slowly.

.

The awkward introductions of James Potter to various friends and relatives of both the Evans and the Dursleys was simply very awkward while avoiding both Petunia's sharp stare and her mother's questioning glances.

Also, James Potter had very little knowledge of how to interact properly with Muggle society.

"Where did you and Lily meet?" Lily's aunt asked James, eyeing the boy up and down several times.

James rubbed the back of his neck. "We go to school. The same school." He paused awkwardly. "Together."

Lily elbowed him lightly in the side. "He and I are the same year at school."

"I see," Aunt Jean smiled. "What is your favourite class?"

James looked at Lily blankly.

She turned slightly, hissing at him, "You like mathematics, Potter."

"Mathematics!"

Aunt Jean departed from the two of them.

"Merlin, you are horrible at this." Lily sighed. "How on earth did you pass Muggle Studies with such a high mark?"

James shrugged. "I paid Moony twenty gallons to do my homework." He paused. "What exactly is mathematics? It doesn't sound pleasant."

"It's a burden of a class."

.

"He's a freak, isn't he?"

Petunia's grip on Lily's wrist was crushing. It was almost amusing, Lily thought grimly, at the dainty looking bride before her latched onto her wrist with a brutal force.

_Freakfreakfreak_ played through Lily's mind bitterly.

She could have fun with this.

"Why would you say that about your guest?" Lily questioned, tilting her head slightly.

James was currently chatting to her mum alone, looking a little uncomfortable. Petunia's stare went unnoticed by the two.

"I don't recognize him."

Lily frowned. "Don't tell Vernon that. That is his cousin you just insulted."

"Pardon?" Petunia squinted at Lily, making her sigh at her sister's stubbornness against glasses. She'd refused to get them in the past, insisting that she didn't need them except, as everyone else could tell, Petunia-_now_-Dursley did in fact need glasses.

"James _Dursley_." Lily stressed. "You really ought to be more careful whom you call freak, Petunia."

Her sister dropped her wrist like it burned her before turning around, melting into the thick cluster of relatives and friends.

Lily smirked.

.

"Your sister just thanked me for coming." James told her as he handed her a crystal glass of punch. "She also brought up family?"

"That's odd," she smiled. "Are you enjoying the party?"

"I'm questioning how you didn't go berserk through the actual wedding."

"The planning stages and rehearsals were the worst of it all." She sat down at a small table pushed back from the rest of the reception. "I always walked to fast, or to slow." She slowly began undoing each bobby pin and clip, feeling the weight of her hair bunched up fall around her neck. Lily then began to run her fingers through the stiff curls of hair, hoping to ease them into a more natural appearance.

He grinned. "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"

She kicked her heels off. "It did make her late for her hair appointment."

"You, Evans, are diabolical." He lifted his glass to her. "I like it."

.

"I swear, I've never seen anyone more strange than that sister of Petunia's."

James frowned, shifting his weight from foot to foot as he waited for Lily to return from the loo.

"She goes to an institution out in the country, doesn't she?"

"It's a miracle that Petunia has the strength to manage a burden like her."

He counted slowly from ten to one, and then back again.

"She doesn't look very bright does she?"

Well then.

.

"Potter!" She demanded, grabbing him by the arm. "What the bloody hell did you do?"

Everyone was gathered around Vernon's sister but the two, Lily dragging the taller figure out the doors.

"I dumped the punch bowl on her stupid face." He shrugged, looking quite pleased with himself.

Lily halted.

"You dumped the punch bowl on Marge Dursley?" She whispered, face paling. He nodded. "How could you? That's Vernon's sister! Petunia's sister in law! Oh, this is bad. Why would you do that?"

James shrugged. "She didn't think you were intelligent."

"So you dumped punch on her?"

"Essentially, yes."

"Why me?" She moaned, closing her eyes.

"It could be worse. If Sirius heard her say that, she'd be spitting out feathers for weeks. I showed proper restraint."

"You can't go around dumping punch on people who say rude things."

"And why can't I?"

Lily sputtered. "Because! Because it isn't the right thing to do!"

James simply shrugged, opening the door for her. "It wasn't right of her to call you stupid."

"That's not the point!"

"But isn't it?"

She looked at him blankly.

"The point exactly is she said you didn't look very bright, and so I dumped punch on her stupid face."

"Petunia's going to kill me."

"What does it matter? She doesn't respect you. Why does her opinion-or any other opinion matter?" James frowned, crossing his arms tightly. "You'd never let anyone treat you like this at school."

"It's different there, Potter."

"It is. But that shouldn't matter."

.

"He can't go around dumping punch on people!" Mrs. Evans hissed, slamming the doors behind her." Lily Evans! Are you smoking?"

"Yup."

Lily was perched on the railing of the church, casually swinging her legs. The heat was still nearly insufferable, but as James had previously agreed, much more tolerable than the contents within the wedding reception.

James was sitting next to her on the painted white railing, flipping idly through her copy of Dickens she'd stowed away into her clutch and sharing a cigarette.

"It is your sister's big day!"

"I know, mum."

"You should be celebrating with your sister, being happy."

"Mum."

"Not making scenes and storming out."

"Mum!"

"I couldn't look at Vernon's parents in the eye after the fiasco with Marge."

"MUM!"

James looked quite startled, nearly tipping off the rail. Mrs. Evans was silenced, looking a mixture of alarmed and angry.

Lily sighed, hopping off the rail and clenching her hands. "Mum. She doesn't want me here." She paused. "She never wanted me invited to the bloody event, much less part of the wedding party. You're the reason why she had to include me."

"That is not true."

"Except it is." Lily shrugged. "Petunia doesn't like me, mum." She smiled almost numbly. "She thinks I am a freak."

Mrs. Evans gazed at her younger daughter quietly for a few moments, before turning to James. "Why did you dump punch over Marge?"

James shrugged. "She deserved it."

"_Potter_."

"Alright, alright." He held his hands up lazily. "She called Lily unintelligent. I thought I was showing a great deal of restraint."

"Alright then." Her shell shocked mother turned away for a moment. "Petunia's getting ready to leave for the honeymoon. If you wouldn't mind saying good bye, please, you can leave afterwards."

.

"You liar." Petunia announced spitefully the moment Lily walked into the tiny dressing room. She was wearing a pretty blue sundress with her hair still pinned up. "James is not Vernon's cousin. He's simply nobody. He's a _freak_."

"He isn't a freak." Lily frowned.

"He dumped punch on top of Marge! How barbaric!" She flung her hands into the air wildly. "Vernon's mother was in such a state, you wouldn't understand. How could you possibly understand?"

Lily felt a stab of hurt go through her, before dissolving into brewing anger.

"She called me stupid." She said calmly, her words not even trembling.

Part of her felt sick, looking around the room. The lace white dress was draped pleasantly over a chair, a slightly battered suitcase next to it. Her sister's golden ring looked like a noose around her finger.

The other part of her was enraged.

"Well, that is no excuse."

"She called me stupid, Petunia. Does that not matter to you at all?"

"No."

Lily smiled thinly at the woman standing across from her. "Goodbye, Petunia. You're a horrible human being."

She left the room, leaving behind her sister gaping at her. As she shut the door her mother caught her by the hand. "What did you say?"

"I said goodbye. I do think James and I will be off now, mum."

"Alright, dear."

.

Lily waited for her mother to enter the dressing room.

She waited for the door the shut.

James was standing by the door, but Lily wasn't finished quite yet.

She took a flute of champagne, grasping it tightly in her grip.

The crowd was thinning out, making it easy to spot the sour faced woman sitting alone, her dress covered in dark splotchy stains of punch. "Marge?" Lily spoke quietly.

"What?" The woman all but growled.

"Don't call me stupid, you heinous boar."

With that, she dumped the contents of the glass over Marge before turning on her heel and striding out.

"I feel the need to get properly smashed, James."

.

"I knew you had it in you, Spitefire."

"Do not ever call me that."

.

"Shouldn't we be making plans?" James asked, stealing Lily's book away. "Who is this great Gatsby person, anyways?"

"Plans for what? And honestly, give me back my book."

He handed her back the slim volume. "The wedding. Eventually, we should be telling someone beyond Sirius and Alice about it. And picking a date. And things like that." He paused. "Like flower colours."

Lily snorted."Hell no. When we feel good and ready, we're eloping."

.


End file.

Harry Potter, Humor, Romance