Harry Potter The Perks of Being Mature

The Perks of Being Mature

By Molly The Monster

_Setting: beginning of 7th year, 1977_

"Mel, why in the world won't she give me a chance? Just one date, that's all I ask," James Potter asked, his voice sounding very defeated as he spoke. He ruffled up his untidy black hair to make it even more untidy than it had been.

"It's because she thinks you're an insensitive git," his friend Melanie Willingham told him, pushing her blonde hair back over her shoulder and smiling to herself as she insulted the Quidditch Captain.

"Well, that doesn't help me," James told her, pushing her slightly and harmlessly, "How do I get her to go out with me?"

Melanie shrugged her shoulders. Considering the girl James was talking about was a close friend of Melanie's, she had an idea of what he could do. "Convince her you're no longer the arrogant prat she always thought you were."

"So all I have to is stop being a cocky jerk and she'll go out with me?" James asked the blonde, hope filling in his voice.

Melanie snorted, covering her mouth in an attempt to cover it up. She felt badly for James. Melanie was quite good friends with him, considering they'd been playing Quidditch together for years. "Easier said than done," she laughed, knowing it would be difficult for James to deflate that huge ego of his.

The two walked away from the Quidditch pitch after a particularly long practice. The sun was burning high in the sky and the weather was quite lovely. Leaves rustled in the trees overhead due to the slight wind. The sky was a beautiful shade of blue and there was not a cloud in sight. It was a surprisingly nice day outside and much nicer than either teenager would have expected in the early days of March. Still, Melanie had no complaints and James was glad to get the Quidditch team out in the pitch and practice for a few hours.

How the topic of Lily came up, Melanie wasn't quite sure. But then again, half of the time Melanie had a conversation with James it was about Lily and the other half they were talking about scoring strategy because they were both chasers. James always said he wanted to win at least one game where they didn't catch the snitch, and to do that, they'd have to score more.

"You know Melly Baby, we need a plan," James said as they approached the castle. They were on their way to the Great Hall, just in time for dinner.

Melanie stopped walking and blinked at him. He stopped to, turning to face her. "Don't ever call me that again," she said, chuckling slightly at the stupid nickname he gave her.

"Sorry," he muttered because he wanted to get back to the matter at hand.

"And _we_ don't need a plan," she said, motioning to the two of them as she said 'we.' "_You_ on the other hand," she said, poking his chest with her finger. "Do need a plan. And I just gave it to you." She crossed her arms over her chest and smiled at him. She shook her head, laughing at her friend as she entered the castle, him trailing behind her.

James grabbed her arm lightly and stopped her before she entered the Great Hall. "So if I act like a mature adult around Lily, she'll want to date me?" James asked Melanie in a quiet voice because he didn't want the portraits on the wall to hear him.

Melanie rolled her eyes. "Sure, let's go with that," she said nodding her head quickly. "Now may I go eat dinner?" she asked, because James was still latched onto her arm.

"Oh, sorry," he said, promptly letting her go. "Thanks for the help, Mel." He winked at her before entering the Great Hall. She chuckled at him. He thought he was so smooth. She followed him in and he joined his friends at the Gryffindor table. Melanie walked passed them, ignoring James and his friends as she went to join Lily, Alice and Devyn who were already laughing and eating their dinner when Melanie joined them.

Lily was the first to notice her. "Well, thanks for joining us, Mel," Lily said very sarcastically, but with a smile on her face.

Melanie took a seat next to Alice and said, "Sorry, it's the first really beautiful day of the year, so James had us practicing for _hours_." She piled huge amounts of food onto her plate. She skipped lunch because, like she just informed her friends, she'd been practicing for hours. She wasn't exaggerating. James had them out as soon as breakfast was over and they were just getting back at that point.

At the mention of James Potter, Lily couldn't help but roll her eyes. Devyn couldn't help but notice. "Oh, even the sound of his name makes Lily crazy," she said, kicking Lily playfully under the table and making a face at Melanie and Alice.

Lily glared at Devyn. "His name makes me _angry_, not crazy," said Lily, brushing her red hair out of her face. Everything about James Potter made Lily Evans angry. Not crazy. Definitely not crazy.

"Whatever," Devyn mumbled, leaning over her plate to hide her annoyed expression from Lily.

"Remind me again why you don't like him," said Melanie, pushing the food around her plate and finally settling on potatoes. She knew that James could be a bit arrogant and he used to hex people for fun. But he'd stopped...a bit.

"Because he's an arrogant, self serving, immature, idiotic," Lily began and Alice, Melanie and Devyn joined in for the last part. "Pompous and proud jerk." Lily looked surprised that her friends had joined in at the end, but she had said those exact words about James Potter so many times that they knew when those words were coming.

"You're so predictable," Alice told Lily, answering the confused expression on Lily's face.

Lily scowled. "Thanks guys," she said, getting up from her seat. "Anyway, I have some homework to finish before I start patrols. I'll see you guys later."

"Have fun with James!" Melanie called, but Lily just rolled her eyes and walked out of the great hall.

* * *

_Mature. Mature. Mature. Mature._

James repeated this word in his head over and over again. Melanie said that if he acted mature, Lily would like him. How hard could it be to act mature? Lily liked Remus, which meant that he had to be mature, so how hard could being mature be? The only problem was, Lily just liked Remus. She didn't _like_ Remus. So clearly, he wasn't mature enough for Lily. It wasn't enough to just act like Remus. He had to act like Remus only more.

But that couldn't be so hard. Sure, James liked to prank and sure, sometimes he acted like he was six, but it really couldn't be all that hard to be mature. _All I have to do is stop playing with my food, maybe brush my hair, actually do my homework and pay attention in class. Oh, and perhaps making howling sounds when Professor Slughorn talks about wolfsbane might not be mature either._

James looked at his reflection in the mirror. "This is going to be harder than I thought."

* * *

"Have fun with James!" Melanie called like she had that afternoon as Lily walked out of their dormitory to meet James for their Heads Duties. Lily wasn't particularly looking forward to it. She never really looked forward to it. James was so annoying and ridiculous. He just...he was just so frustrating! It made Lily cringe.

Lily momentarily took her thoughts of James to think about the Potions Essay she had due for Professor Slughorn. But it was hard not to think about James when she was going to the Entrance Hall to meet James.

Only, when she got there, it wasn't James that she met. Well, it was. But it wasn't.

The person standing there certainly _looked_ like James Potter, only he couldn't possibly be him. He had no glasses on and the sloppy, tangled mess that was James Potter's hair seemed, much to Lily's confusion, to be combed. Not one hair was out of place. The tie around his neck was actually tight to his throat and his shirt was tucked in. There was not a single wrinkle in his robes or pants.

"Hello, Lilian. How are you this evening? Might I say you look quite exquisite."

Lily could hardly believe those words just came out of James Potter's mouth. "Lily isn't short for Lilian," was the only thing Lily could manage to get out of her own mouth. This whole situation was just weird. Lily blinked a couple of times, hoping maybe the James Potter she knew would suddenly appear. But he didn't.

James laughed, but it sounded more like, "Ho ho ho," than "Ha ha ha." Lily wondered if he was getting a sore throat. Perhaps he should see Madame Pomfrey. "Oh, Lilian. You are so puerile."

"I'm so _what_?" Lily asked immediately, not even bothering to correct him again on the Lilian thing.

"Puerile, a noun meaning of or pertaining to a child or to childhood. Childishly foolish, immature or trivial," said James, leading the way down the corridor to where they normally patrolled every night at Hogwarts. Perhaps Lily was imagining it, but it seemed to her that he sounded...more British. You know, if it was possible for a Brit to sound more British.

"Fascinating," said Lily slowly, trying to imagine what was wrong with James. A hundred different scenarios went through her mind. Perhaps Sirius slipped something into his pumpkin juice at dinner so that he's act like a fool. Perhaps something had gone horribly wrong in Potions and he ended up with the brain of a fifty year old Muggle lawyer who had had an education at Oxford and was named Preston or Quinn and played polo, cricket, and chess on the weekends.

James let out a chuckle. "You know what's fascinating?" he asked.

Lily was afraid to ask. "No, enlighten me," she said, feeling weirder and weirder with the situation by the moment.

"Owls are the only birds to drop their upper eyelids to wink. All other birds raise their lower eyelids," he told Lily, sounded quite please with himself. "Fascinating, isn't it?"

"James?" Lily asked suddenly.

"Yes, Lilian?"

"Are you feeling all right?"

"Never better. Why do you ask?"

"No reason," Lily said, wondering who the hell the person walking next to her was.

* * *

"I swear, it was the weirdest thing I have ever witnessed in my entire life!" Lily exclaimed to her friends the next morning at breakfast. She was absentmindedly spreading butter over her toast. Alice looked less than amused, Devyn was staring at Lily, completely absorbed in what she was saying and Melanie had her elbow on the table and she was resting her forehead in her hand as if in disappointment.

"James Potter," Devyn said slowly, seriously considering what she was saying, "Combed his hair? On purpose?"

"I can't think of anyone who combs their hair accidentally," said Lily, shoving her toast in her mouth. "It was the strangest thing. He kept going on about how fascinating owls are and the different uses of wolfsbane and when he was speaking his voice got all deep. I'm going to be honest, it was boring as anything you can imagine. Normally he makes idiotic jokes or is constantly trying to impress me with all his Quidditch knowledge, so at least it's amusing. Sometimes we even have fun."

Alice dropped the toast she was holding. Melanie's head shot up. "Are you saying that maybe, just maybe, you might miss the old James?"

"No," Lily answered almost before Melanie finished her sentence. She definitely did not miss the old James. This new James, well, he was just strange.

"Sounds to me like you miss the old James," said Alice, and Lily couldn't quite read her tone.

"I know I've always said he should be mature and grow up, but seriously you guys, you weren't with me last night. If James Potter has suddenly become this person, I'm not Lily Evans."

Melanie stood up. "Excuse me, I have to go," she said and she practically ran out of the Great Hall.

"You know, that girl might even be a bigger freak than James supposedly is," said Alice, watching as Melanie disappeared.

"Definitely not," said Devyn who had also been watching Melanie.

"No, _definitely_ not," agreed Lily.

* * *

James had on his practice robes for Quidditch and was on his way out when Melanie stepped in front of him, also in her Quidditch rules. She smacked him over the head with her hand.

"Ow," said James, rubbing the spot where Melanie had hit him. "What was that for?"

"For being an idiot. Lily told me the way you were acting last night," Melanie told him, her hands falling on her hips. She obviously disapproved.

"What?" James asked defensively. "I was being mature, just like you told me to! You're saying Lily wasn't impressed?"

"I told you to act like James Bond," Melanie responded immediately, pushing his arm. "Not Prince Charles. She thinks you're a freak!"

"Who's James Bond?" James asked. How did she expect him to act like James Bond if he didn't know who James Bond was?

"Oh, it doesn't matter," said Melanie, "The point is, she doesn't think you're mature, she thinks you're crazy."

"Well, that's a problem," said James, deep in thought. And he had tried so hard. He went to the library and read up on as much information as he could. He even memorized ten different interesting facts and he managed to tell each one of them to Lily during the course of the evening. He must have messed one up. She must have known and thought he was an idiot.

When Melanie spoke, James came back to reality. "Well there is good news," she said and James' heart lifted a little.

"What?"

"I think she kind of misses you."

"But I haven't gone anywhere."

"Figuratively I mean."

"Oh..."

"That's a good thing."

"Oh!" cried James grabbing Melanie's shoulders. She shook him off her.

"And you know what?" she said, looking around as if she was checking to make sure no one was listening. She leaned in and whispered. "She said, and I quote, 'Sometimes, we even have fun.'"

James' eyes widened. "She said that? You're not lying?"

"Never," said Melanie, giving James a big grin.

* * *

Lily had no idea what to expect when she was on her way to meet James for their nightly patrol. She had done her best to avoid him like she always had, so she wasn't sure if this new James was a one time deal or not. She was quite afraid actually and she wasn't sure what to expect.

When she arrived, James was there. The same James he had always been. Same messy hair, same glasses, same untidy uniform. Lily was beginning to wonder if perhaps she had been hallucinating the James from yesterday. That had to be it. What other explanation could there be?

"Evening, Lily," James said when Lily joined him. She noticed that he dropped the 'Lilian' thing.

"Evening," she said slowly, admiring his messy hair. Immediately Lily looked away. She had just _admired_ something about James Potter.

"So, you ready?" James asked holding out an arm so that Lily would go first.

They walked silently for a while. Neither spoke until they caught a couple of first year Ravenclaws out of bed. Lily was prepared to scold them, but laughed when she realized they were sneaking back to their common room from the library because they had been studying all night. James and Lily sent them to their common room and told the first years that Lily and James didn't want to catch them out of bed after hours again.

Not much later, James broke the silence. "So, I heard something interesting today?" he said nonchalantly, not looking at Lily, but at the portraits on the walls.

Lily was scared to ask. She was terrified he was going to go on about how fascinating owls were. "What?" she asked and she was practically whispering.

"You weren't a big fan of my hair yesterday," he said casually.

"Who told you that?" said Lily. She was trying to sound like what James just said was ridiculous, but she wasn't sure if it worked.

"I also heard that you said, and I quote, 'Sometimes we even have fun.'" Lily stopped dead in her tracks, but James kept walking down the hall.

"I'm going to murder Melanie," Lily said, more to herself than to James.

James began to skip down the hall, obviously trying to act like an idiot. "Come Lilian! Let's go have fun! I heard you missed the old me!"

"I never said that," she called after him, following him down the hall.

His hands went to his hair and he began flattening it to his head. "Did you know owls can turn their heads around in almost a full circle?" he called down the end of the hall. "Fascinating isn't it?"

"James stop that!" Lily yelled, quickening her pace down the corridor but he was too busy running from her.

"Why? Are you starting to miss the old me?" James called, turning a corner.

"I never said that!" yelled Lily desperately.

"Did you know there are over one hundred fifty species of owl?"

"_JAMES!"_

* * *

Just a silly little story about the lengths James will go to in order to win over Lily. It was originally intended to be much more humorous and focus more on the James being "mature" part, but somehow, that was the hardest part to write. I'm not entirely sure if I love the way it came out, so any advice/suggestions would be lovely especially because I'm thinking of a doing a rewrite!

This story is also dedicated to Anonymous Santa, faiZa, Rani Jashalithie, Ridingstar95, slytherinprincess02, Sunshine In The Rain, transfiguredbunny, WhereIsMyThumpThump, xXxheartshadowsxXx and You Are Not Permitted To Touch, for reviewing my last one-shot, _The Perfect Proposal_!


End file.

Harry Potter, Humor