Bleach 1. Prologue

**I don't own Bleach : P**

a/n: Rules and warnings before reading this:

1. If you are highly religious, I suggest you **do not **continue to read the following (if you are that religious, I don't even understand why you chose to read something M rated!)

2. If you are quite religious, you may be offended by my mocking of the following.

3. If you get offended easily by language and people mocking serious things, then don't read! (like I said before, it's M!)

4. This story is rated M because of language and implied themes later in the story. If you were looking for lemon or something, there's **NONE HERE!**

5. I think I've given enough warnings, so people who are any of the above should turn back. I **will not **take responsibily for anyone who is offended becase I have stated it!

Now, please enjoy!^^

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The following 10 commandments must be followed in order to maintain a healthy, easy and happy life. If they are broken, there will be dire consequences:

1. Thou shalt not cheat on me

2. Thou shalt not lie to me

3. Thou shalt not show any signs of anger or distaste towards me

4. Thou shalt not flirt with other women/men

5. Thou shalt not worship anyone besides me

6. Thou shalt treat thy neighbour poorer than me

7. Thou shalt not buy cheap things for me

8. Thou shalt not make wrongful use of my name

9. Thou shalt not look into anyone's eyes except mine

10. Thou shalt not attempt to kill me


	2. Trip to heaven?

**I don't own Bleach! :)**

a/n: The story doesn't end in this chapter. There certainly **will **be more, so look out for it! Reviews are appreciated!

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"…you must stay—."

"HURRY THE FUCK UP, WILL YOU?!" It was about the hundredth time that Grimmjow had screamed at Szayel for not being able to hurry the wedding readings up. He had pushed his patience to the max, and he simply could not take it anymore, not to mention the stupid suit he had to wear which practically strangled him. But then again, he couldn't complain, because he did it for Ulquiorra.

No matter how much he loved Ulquiorra, today, just today, he couldn't look at him. He was so fucking pretty that every time Grimmjow turned to look at him his nose would bleed profusely and there would be no end to it. And whose fault is that? Grimmjow's. He insisted that he was the 'guy' and not the 'chick' of the two of them, and in the end Grimmjow forced Ulquiorra to wear a wedding dress. He didn't know that Ulquiorra in a wedding dress (or any dress at all) would pack such a punch at him.

Although Grimmjow was holding Ulquiorra's hands, he averted his gaze to Szayel (or the ground) instead so he wouldn't have to look at Ulquiorra (and possibly, die).

"I'm sorry Grimmjow, but I **can not make this go any faster**. Please stop yelling at me. If you hadn't so much, we would've already been finished." Szayel pushed his glasses up and continued to read from the book.

"…Hmpf…" Grimmjow looked down at his feet. _"How disgusting…" _he thought for the…who knows how many times as he tapped his feet, thinking about how gross his shoes were. He shut out everything Szayel was saying, and soon enough all he heard was 'blah blah blah blah blah'. To Grimmjow, it seemed like he was standing there forever, although his 'peace' was soon interrupted.

"Grimmjow." Ulquiorra looked up at him.

"Grimmjow." Ulquiorra repeated himself. Still, there was no reaction from Grimmjow.

"Grimmjow, kiss me." Grimmjow's eyes widened. Finally, he had come back to reality.

"_Fuck…when did Szayel say 'kiss the bride' or whatever the fuck he needed to say?!" _Grimmjow panicked. He couldn't look at Ulquiorra, and now he had to **kiss** him?! And in public?! In front of all the Arrancars there were in Hueco Mundo?!

"Oh…Um…ah…" Grimmjow leaned closer. He was practically shaking, no, he **was **shaking! He placed his hand on Ulquiorra, not looking where he placed them.

"Grimmjow, what are you doing?" Grimmjow noticed he had placed his hand on Ulquiorra's ass. Shit.

People in the audience started snickering, until someone was actually stupid enough to point it out.

"HAHAH! NICE ONE!" Nnoitora yelled out, tears coming out from the side of his eyes because he was laughing so hard. His eyes were barely visible, being as small as they were, and laughing hard wasn't helping to make them any bigger.

"FUCK OFF, QUINTA!" Grimmjow readied a cero in his hand, ready to blast Nnoitora with it.

"My, my, anger management, anger management. It's a wedding, Grimmy." Gin reminded Grimmjow that this was probably not the right place and time to pick a fight.

"*Ahem* You may **kiss** the bride." Szayel pointed out bluntly which reminded Grimmjow of what he needed to do at that moment.

"Oh…*ahem* **right**." Grimmjow was finding a way to calm down. _"Just think that everyone here is a potato sack…potato sack…potato sack…potato sack…" _The end to a long silence was met when Grimmjow **finally** kissed Ulquiorra. He had managed (**somehow**) to imagine that everyone was a potato sack and that illusion served him just a bit too well.

"Mmmfff…" Ulquiorra's face was going red. He was being suffocated by Grimmjow's kiss "Grim…mmm!!!" Grimmjow was now too absorbed in his kiss, and forgot that this place was a **public **place; and that everyone, in fact, no matter how big the illusion, was certainly **not **a lifeless potato sack.

Ulquiorra started punching Grimmjow in the stomach and yanked himself away from the kiss. He was blushing furiously and Grimmjow had realised what he had just done.

"Grimmjow!!! How could you?!" Ulquiorra was mad. Usually, he wouldn't be mad even if Grimmjow had done what he just did, but for god's sake, this was a wedding! And **his own **wedding at it. He formed a cero at the end of his finger tip, and aimed it right at Grimmjow's head.

"Hey, look, I didn't mean to…AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Ulquiorra figured he needed to be more strict to Grimmjow, and that he needed to tell Grimmjow he was **not** to be taken lightly.

And that's how the 10 commandments were born.

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a/n: The next chapter will be called 'Thou shalt not cheat on me', if that's hint enough what the rest of the chapters will be. For those who are reading Espada tales, sorry for slow update. I promise it'll be there soon...-___- Reviews are accepted gratefully!


	3. Commandment number 1

**I don't own Bleach (or the bible or whatever XD)**

a/n: Everyone, I'm so sorry for such a long time before update! I got sick, and I'm slightly coughing up blood, so please forgive me...T_T I hope you can enjoy this chapter! Please reveiw!

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**Commandment Number 1: Thou shalt not cheat on me**

"Hey, Ulquiorra," Grimmjow was sitting on the chair, with his feet on the table, "Can I go over to Nnoitora's room?"

"…Hmmm…" Ulquiorra was still doing papers and things for Aizen, "Go ahead, I'm busy anyway."

"Yeah, ok, thanks." Grimmjow walked over and gave his wife a kiss on the cheek and left the room. He only had to walk one room down to get to Nnoitora's place. It wasn't far away and the door with a big 5 imprinted on it soon came. Grimmjow knocked on it. "Oiii! Nnoitora!"

"What do you want?" The lanky man opened the door.

"Well obviously I want to come in." Grimmjow crossed his arms.

"Wouldn't you rather be doing things with your wife? Like, 'things'?" Nnoitora pulled a fishy smile.

"…What. The. Fuck, are you talking about?" Grimmjow's eyebrow twitched.

"You know…" The Quinta rolled his eyes, if it were visible to Grimmjow anyway. (One, being so tall would make them hard to see. Two, as if they weren't already small enough!)

"…Can you just let me in?" Grimmjow tried to force himself through.

"Why? Can't you go to your own room?"

"…Okay, fine. You have a plasma." Grimmjow was slightly embarrassed that he had to admit that he just wanted to go to Nnoitora's room because he had a plasma. Also because his own TV gets destroyed about every once a week so now Grimmjow just goes to other people rooms.

Nnoitora just stood there for a second. Then he smiled. "Sure. Want to watch a movie with me? I can kick Tesla out this time if he gets too drunk again."

"What? Drunk?!"

"Like, no, I **mean**, if he gets too crazy. I don't have any booze in my fridge or anything if that's what you were thinking." Nnoitora chucked and walked into his room.

"Suit yourself." Grimmjow walked in and sat down on the couch, and watched TV.

Nnoitora suggested that they watch a movie and play games after so he invited heaps of people to his room. Especially girls. It didn't even stop him from inviting Nel. But he didn't tell Grimmjow. Of course he wouldn't…

"Hey, Nnoitora, why are there so many people here?" Grimmjow asked when he saw more and more people walk into his friend's room.

"What do you mean?" Nnoitora was at his fridge. He seemed to be taking some sort of drink out, and Grimmjow saw Tesla frown. "Here, have some." Nnoitora chucked Grimmjow a can of beer, and proceeded to give other people some.

"Hey, I thought you said there was no booze." Regardless, Grimmjow drank it anyway. Who cares. It was just a drink to him.

Before Grimmjow knew it, there were soon over 15 people in Nnoitora's room. Everyone was either drinking, dancing or talking to each other to catch up on some things. He tried to leave as it was getting late, but Nnoitora forced him to stay 'a little longer' and 'have another drink' with him.

Grimmjow was soon surrounded by drunk people and some even tried to hit on him even though he had a wife already. He looked at the clock and saw it was midnight, and holy fuck he **needed **to **get the fuck home**.

---

"…I wonder where Grimmjow is…" Ulquiorra sat at a lonely dinner table, watching the plate of food he served for Grimmjow go cold.

"He probably just went to Nnoitora's room to watch on his TV again, but surely it wouldn't take this long…unless…" Ulquiorra stood up.

---

"Oh…my…fucking…gosh…I **finally **got out of there…" Grimmjow panted. He couldn't get out of that room 'cause of frikin' Tesla. He ended up drowning himself in too much alcohol again and wouldn't stop hitting Grimmjow because apparently Grimmjow 'touched Nnoitora', and Grimmjow didn't even know what he was talking about.

Grimmjow walked back to the door which had number 4 on it.

"Hey, Ulquiorra! I'm home!" There was a disturbing silence as there was no reply. Grimmjow looked around the room. "Ulquiorra?" He turned around for another look. "Ulquio—uhg!"

"Welcome home, Grimmjow." There was a sweet tone to Ulquiorra's voice even though he had hit Grimmjow with full force just before and was now abruptly tying him so he couldn't move with duck tape.

"Hey, sweetie…" Grimmjow turned to look Ulquiorra in the face, only to see Ulquiorra tying him up. He sweated.

"Now where have you been tonight?" Ulquiorra grabbed Grimmjow by the hair and pulled him so he was now in a sitting position.

"Ouch…I've been at Nnoitora's. I told you that…" Grimmjow could feel the blood cutting off at his wrists. Ulquiorra had tied his hands a bit too tight…

"Oh, is that so? Then what's the smell of alcohol? And these?" Ulquiorra pointed to a lipstick mark on his chest.

"…I just drank…a little…" Grimmjow was absolutely not going to tell Ulquiorra where the lipstick mark came from. It was actually from Tesla when he was madly trying to kiss Nnoitora, but he was so drunk he couldn't tell the difference between anyone and kissed about ten people before he got the right person. Grimmjow just happened to be the first person he kissed, and therefore the mark was most visible.

"And this?" Ulquiorra continued to point at the mark.

"…" Grimmjow gulped. He was in for it.

"Oh, what's the matter?" Ulquiorra leaned closer to Grimmjow and even smiled in front of him. He grabbed him by the neck and held him up. "Tell me who has better looks than me, and who loves you more than me, and who you love more than me." Ulquiorra tightened his grip around Grimmjow's neck.

"*gack* I swear…no one! You…ack…have to…believe…me!" Grimmjow struggled.

"Grimmjow…thou…shalt not cheat on me!" Ulquiorra cero-ed Grimmjow right back to his own room.

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**~The next day~ **

"Hey Grimmjow, what happened to you?" Nnoitora stared at the 'broken' Grimmjow.

"**It's all your fault Nnoitora!**"


End file.

Bleach, Humor, Romance