Vampire Diaries 1. Damon Turns Green

Vampire Frog

DG32173

Sarah: well, there's been at least one other fanfic in The Vampire Diaries category that went with this theme. And there's been a bunch scattered throughout the site. So I'm just adding another to the pile. I hope you enjoy.

_**CREDIT**_  
Another shout-out to my awesome beta Cameron, aka _VDfan2107._ You will never know just how grateful I am that you chose to volunteer your services as a beta for my stories.

_**DISCLAIMER**_  
This theme was first used in a _fairytale!_ There's no way I could possibly own it! I also don't own The Vampire Diaries, Mystic Falls, or anything related to them. I only own what I write and I don't make money for it.

_**WARNINGS**_  
ALTERNATE UNIVERSE! Alters from series between 2x02, _"Brave New World"_ and 2x03, _"Bad Moon Rising"._ Just Katherine and Mason to deal with. Rated T for language and 'groping'. RATING MAY CHANGE IN FUTURE CHAPTERS! You have been warned.

_**SUMMARY**_  
After annoying Bonnie one too many times, Damon is accidentally turned into a frog. Will the gang figure out what it takes to change him back? Or will it be up to Damon to show them that fairy tales really do come true? _**Damon/Elena**_

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Chapter 1  
Damon Turns Green

"Go away, Damon," Bonnie growls, trying not to let the handsome vampire annoy her. It's not working very well.

"You know, you should find another witch to teach you," Damon remarks, smirking.

"I'm doing fine on my own!" Bonnie snaps.

"Fine, huh? Then what was with that spell where you turned Elena's hair neon blue the other week? You told her that you were going to cast a spell that would help her sort her feelings out but, instead, her hair turned blue!" he mocks.

"I turned it back!" Bonnie protests.

"It took you three _days_ to figure out the proper spell. You _literally_ put her hair through the rainbow," Damon groans.

"I am _not_ in the mood to put up with you today, Damon," Bonnie warns testily. "I suggest you leave."

"And if I don't?" he asks cockily. "Having another witch teach you would speed up your learning _quite_ a bit. And you wouldn't be taking _days_ to fix a spell that went awry."

Damon fails to notice that as he's speaking, Bonnie's chanting softly under her breath. He goes on at length about why it would be so much easier on _everyone_ if Bonnie had an instructor in the ways of magic. But on one word, only half the word comes out as an actual _word_ and the other half comes out as a croak as Damon suddenly finds himself in a dark, uncomfortably tight place. "What the hell?" he demands, but his words come out as a croaking.

He squirms around, trying to get a grip on what happened to him, and something about the way his body is moving tells him that things just got a lot worse for him.

Gilbert house ten minutes later

Elena sighs as she struggles to concentrate on the math problem before her. Suddenly, her phone starts playing _"I'm a Hex Girl",_ the Scooby Doo song she had chosen for Bonnie. She welcomes the distraction from her Damon-oriented thoughts by picking up. "Hey, Bonnie. Where are you? It's not like you to be late," she says.

"_Elena, I did something terrible. Tell me that Jenna's not there,"_ the young witch says, her voice shaking with fright.

"Woah, slow down. Jenna's not here. What did you do?" Elena asks.

"_I'm almost at your house now. I'll tell you when I get there."_ Without a goodbye, Bonnie hangs up.

Elena exchanges a look with her study-buddy-slash-vampiress-best-friend Caroline. "That didn't sound good," Caroline says in a small voice.

The girls put their schoolwork down and mutually agree to meet Bonnie on the front porch. Bonnie pulls in behind Elena's SUV and opens her door. But before getting up, she picks up what looks like a wad of clothes from the passenger seat. Bonnie then climbs out and shuts her door with her hip before racing across the yard and up the steps. Elena and Caroline can see that she is indeed carrying a wad of familiar _men's_ designer clothes, an all-too-familiar pair of designer leather boots, and perched on top of the stack is what looks like a very angry big-eyed tree frog, croaking up a storm.

Elena and Caroline exchange another look. "Why are you carrying Damon's clothes and why is there a frog _sitting_ on his clothes?" Caroline asks.

Bonnie's eyes fill up with tears. "The frog _is_ Damon," she says helplessly. "I-I don't know how this could happen! He was being his usual annoying self and I was having a bad day, and I just got so mad and started chanting. And when I was done, at first I thought I had accidentally vaporized him or something but then I heard croaking from one of his boots and there was this frog in his boot!"

"Let's get inside and talk about this," Elena says wrapping an arm around Bonnie's shoulders and guiding her to the door, where Caroline is holding the screen wide enough for them to pass through. "My room," Elena says decisively. "Jenna could be back any time."

When the three girls are seated in a circle on Elena's bed with the frog sitting in the middle of them, Elena sighs. "Did you make sure this frog is actually _Damon?"_ she asks. Bonnie frowns at her in confusion, giving Elena her answer. The human turns her attention to the frog, which is staring right at her. "Okay, just to be sure you _are_ Damon and not some frog that Bonnie made Damon switch places with, I'm going to ask you a few yes or no questions. Nod for yes and shake your head for no. Is that clear?" she asks. The frog nods, looking as annoyed as a frog can possibly look. "Do I like pickles?" she asks. The frog shakes its head no. "Was my Miss Mystic Falls dress blue?" The frog nods. "Did it have long sleeves?" The frog shakes its head no. "Were you my last-minute escort at the dance?" The frog nods. "Was it because Stefan couldn't keep it together on human blood?" The frog nods again. "Was the reason I went to Georgia with you because I fainted after you pulled me from my crashed SUV and wasn't able to fight your decision to take me on a five-minute timeout?" she asks. The frog nods. As Elena tries to think of another question, the frog sighs and leaps onto Elena's collarbone before dropping into her shirt to land in her bra amid her cleavage. "It's Damon," she says, fetching him out of her shirt.

"Can't argue with _that_ proof," Caroline acknowledges.

"Can't imagine an ordinary frog doing _that,"_ Bonnie agrees.

Elena carefully sets Damon on the bed between the three girls again. But he leaps up onto her shoulder. "Don't try that stunt with my shirt again or I'm going to make a test to see if you still have those healing abilities," she warns him. He croaks as he turns so he can face the group. Elena turns her attention to the group. "Okay, Bonnie, I know he made you mad, but did you _have_ to turn him into a frog?" she asks.

"I was so mad I wasn't event thinking," the young witch admits. "What gets me is that the spell shouldn't have worked."

"And why not?" Caroline asks.

Bonnie averts her gaze. "Because it _kind of_ came from a book of fairytales I found in Grams' house last week," she admits.

"The Frog Prince?" Caroline guesses.

"Yeah," Bonnie says sheepishly.

Elena reaches her hand up to pick Damon up off her shoulder so she can look at him. "You're screwed," she tells him. He croaks and it almost sounds like a question. "Because I am not going to track down whatever viper is your one and only." Damon crosses his front legs and gives her a look that she can read perfectly well even if he _is_ a frog now. "No. I am _not_ kissing you, Damon. Keep dreaming. You killed my brother, remember?"

"Yeah, well, can you watch him until I figure out how to turn him back?" Bonnie asks plaintively, looking at Elena.

"Me? _Why?"_ Elena demands, setting Damon down. He hops back up onto her shoulder.

"My dad won't let me keep anything _remotely_ animal-shaped in the house," Bonnie explains. "Not even animal-shaped costumes."

"Well, I can't keep him at _my_ house," Caroline protests when Elena turns a pitiful look on her. "Mom _hates_ frogs. And we can't keep him at the boarding house; Stefan would eat him for sure!"

"Speaking of Stefan," Elena says, turning her gaze on Bonnie. "Did you tell him what you did to his brother?"

"I was hoping you would do that," Bonnie says in a tiny voice.

"_You're_ the one who turned Damon into a frog; _you're_ the one who has to inform everyone in the know. Including Stefan, Rick, and Jeremy," Elena says firmly.

Bonnie sighs and shifts so she can pull her phone out of her back pocket. She searches through her contacts and calls Stefan. After an immensely long time of waiting, Stefan picks up. "Stefan, get to Elena's room, now," Bonnie says in reply to his 'hello?', hanging up without waiting for a reply.

Five seconds later Stefan leaps through Elena's window. "Is everything okay?" he asks, taking in the three girls seated on Elena's bed. He frowns when he spots a green frog with black specks perched on Elena's shoulder. "Why is there a frog on your shoulder, Elena?" he asks.

"Ask Bonnie," she replies, nodding towards the witch. "She's the one who has to tell you."

"Okay," Stefan says slowly. "Bonnie, why is there a frog on Elena's shoulder?"

"That frog is Damon," the witch says softly.

"Don't bother asking if we've confirmed it," Elena says quickly when Stefan opens his mouth. "Damon already proved to us that he has indeed become a frog."

Stefan examines the serious expressions the three girls are wearing and the woeful expression the frog has. He then snickers. "I'm sorry, this really shouldn't be all that funny, but what did you do _this_ time, Damon?" Stefan asks, trying extremely hard to suppress his laughter.

Damon narrows his froggy eyes before leaping forward to latch his tiny frog teeth into Stefan's thumb. Stefan frowns and holds his hand up, eyeing Damon as he tries to exert enough pressure to break through Stefan's skin. "I don't think he liked that you were finding such amusement at his expense," Elena says dryly, climbing off the bed to come gently pry Damon's tiny frog body off of Stefan's thumb. She turns to Bonnie. "You still have two people to tell about your goof-up, Bonnie," she says.

Bonnie sighs and climbs off the bed and crosses out of Elena's room, through the small bathroom Elena shares with her brother, and swings open the door leading to Jeremy's room. Thirty seconds after she enters Jeremy's room, she returns, dragging Jeremy by the ear, the poor kid complaining about how she's hurting him. Once back in Elena's room, Bonnie releases Jeremy's ear and turns him to face Elena's bed. It takes Jeremy a moment to spot what Bonnie wants to show him. "Okay, there's a frog on my sister's shoulder. Are you planning on telling me _why_ she's letting it _sit_ there rather than tossing it out the window like she has all the other frogs that got in her room?" he asks.

"The frog is Damon. He made me mad, I accidently turned him into a frog," Bonnie says.

It takes Jeremy all of one second to reconcile with that notion before he busts out in hysterical laughter. "Dude! That's what you _get_ for snapping my neck!" he gasps out amid his laughter. Damon croaks his annoyance with being laughed at.

And cue Rick walking in, having just brought Jenna home and telling her that he would check on the kids for her. "Okay, what's going on here?" he asks, grinning. "Why is everyone here and why is Jeremy laughing like he just pulled the mother of all pranks successfully?"

Bonnie points to Damon perched on Elena's shoulder. "That frog is Damon. He made me mad and I accidentally turned him into a frog," she admits sheepishly.

Where it had taken Jeremy one second to reconcile with that fact, it takes Rick three seconds before he's also laughing his ass off. "I _told_ you being a dick would bite you in the ass one day," he gets out around his laughter.

Damon works his mouth and new vocal cords, _trying_ to growl at them. What comes out is more like a strangled croak than anything else. That only causes Rick and Jeremy to laugh all the harder. Damon decides to just hide at the back of Elena's neck, under her hair. Elena sighs. "Anyways, it's getting late. There's school tomorrow and _I_ would like some sleep before hand," she says firmly. "So everyone, move the party somewhere else."

"Where's Damon staying?" Rick asks when he's sobered up.

Stefan frowns at that. "What do you mean, 'where's Damon staying'?" he asks.

"Well, he can't stay with _you,"_ Jeremy points out. "You might get annoyed with him and _eat_ him!"

"He's staying here until we figure out a way to change him back," Elena says firmly.

"What? But, Elena, he's …," Stefan starts, already well on the way to a full-on brood.

Elena cuts him off. "Stefan, he's a _frog._ Besides, I told him that if he does anything I don't like, I'm going to test if his healing abilities stayed with him when he was transformed," she says. "Now, everyone, _out!_ As I said, I'd like _some_ sleep tonight before I have to get up for school."

When everyone finally clears out of her room, Elena reaches behind her neck and pulls Damon out from under her hair. He sits in the palm of her hand, looking more pitiful than she had ever seen him. She frowns at him. "Look, if you weren't such an asshole all the time, you wouldn't _be_ in this predicament right now," she tells him. He croaks. "Yes, yes, I _know_ that's your way of messing around with people, but it doesn't mean it's nice. Now, you stay in here. I have to go get my homework from the living room so I can finish it and Jenna would _freak_ if you came with me." With that, she sets him down on her bed before making her way out of her room to go fetch her homework from the living room. When she gets back, she finds Damon hopping around on the keyboard of her computer. _"Now_ what are you doing?" she demands, going over to him. She glances at the screen and sees that he had somehow opened a Word document to use to communicate.

'_I can't believe you won't kiss me!'_

"Yeah, well, as I said, keep dreaming," she tells him.

Damon then hops onto the enter key and before hopping around to type a new message. _'She got the spell from a FAIRYTALE! So the obvious way to break the spell is a kiss!'_

Elena groans. "Look, that book of fairytales was found in a witch's house and the spell actually worked. What if the side-effects are similar to Disney's version of that fairytale in that rather than changing you back with a kiss, _I'd_ turn into a frog?" she demands.

Damon hops to the enter key again and types another message. _'We're not in a Disney movie, Elena.'_

"Yeah, well, we're not in a fairytale either and the spell from one worked on you," she points out.

'_Just kiss me already!'_

"No!" she snaps. "I'm not kissing you and I'm not letting anyone _else_ kiss you until Bonnie lets us know precisely what the side-effects of the spell were in the fairytale she got it from. Now if you're going to insist on typing to communicate, do something useful and help me with my homework."

Damon hops on the enter key so he can types another message _'Fine. But I'm not GIVING you the answers. I do value a good education, after all.'_

So Elena reads her homework to Damon one question at a time and he helps her in a way that makes her figure out the answers on her own. By the time Elena climbs into bed, she's dead tired but her homework is complete. Damon hops up onto Elena's pillow and croaks a question at her. "Fine, you can spend the night on my pillow," she tells him. "Just know that I've been tossing and turning a lot in my sleep lately." He croaks again. "Look, I'm having a hard time understanding you now that you speak frog. It's easier if you just type a message on my computer. Anyways, night, Damon."

He croaks again and settles down for the night on her pillow next to her, determined to win a kiss from Elena no matter how he has to do it. But he's not going to cheat and steal one while she's asleep.


	2. The Fairytale Curse

Vampire Frog

DG32173

Sarah: here's chapter 2 of _Vampire Frog._ I hope everyone enjoys.

_**IN REGARDS TO ACCUSATIONS OF PLAGIARISM**_  
For anyone saying I plagiarized this from some story called _"The Miss Mystic Falls Runner Up and the Frog"_, I would like to point out that there aren't very many ways you can start a fanfic remake of the fairytale _'The Frog Prince'_ without _someone_ else having also started it in a similar fashion in their own fic somewhere else. Besides, how _else_ will Damon become a frog without pissing Bonnie off? And need I remind you guys that this takes place between the second and third episodes of Season 2? With how many remakes of the great fairytales there are in the archives, I'm surprised I wasn't told I was plagiarizing when I wrote my _Sleeping Doppelganger_ stories. If you are so damn rude as to accuse someone of plagiarism, at least wait until the second chapter if it's themed after a fairytale. _This_ is where the story becomes uniquely my own.

_**REVIEW REPLIES**_

_DEstinyTR:_ glad you got a laugh out of it.

_katerinapevrna:_ here's the update

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Chapter 2  
The Fairytale Curse

Elena, Bonnie, Stefan, Caroline, Jeremy, and Rick are all seated around the boarding house living room with Damon perched on Elena's shoulder. They had decided to meet up in the boarding house after school so that there's very little risk of anyone not in the know barging in on them while they try to figure out how to change Damon back into his usual hot self. Elena had brought her laptop so that Damon could take part in the conversation by hopping around on the keyboard and typing what he wants to say.

"Bonnie, what, precisely, are the effects of the spell you cast on Damon?" Elena asks.

"Well, I read the fairytale again last night when I got home to refresh my memory on it," the young witch says. "As you can see, it turns the person it is cast on into a frog. But the witch in this version of the fairytale wanted to teach the prince she cast the spell on a hard lesson. She made it so that _only_ true love's kiss will turn him back. However, if the girl who kissed him _wasn't_ his true love, that girl would turn into a frog to teach _her_ a lesson in why trying to break such a curse isn't wise. The girl wouldn't be turned back by true love's kiss. _She'd_ be a frog until the Frog Prince was returned to his original form."

The group exchange looks. Damon hops off Elena's shoulder onto her laptop keyboard and begins hopping around typing. Elena reads his message and scowls at him. "I am _not_ going to risk turning into a frog, Damon," she snaps. "You can hang _that_ up." Damon croaks irritably and hops around to type a new message. She groans and looks at Bonnie. "Damon wants to know if you could _try_ to get him back to normal at a decent rate of speed." Damon hops around on the keyboard some more. Elena reads the extended message "He added that if you can't, you could at _least_ find a spell that will let us figure out who his true love is."

"That's why I brought all the grimiores I could find in Grams' house," Bonnie says, patting the stack next to her. "I also brought the book of fairytales that I got the spell from," she continues, lifting the top book. "I figured if we all went through them, the work time will be cut to a fraction of what it would be if I was looking through them one by one."

"I guess I could take the fairytale book," Elena says.

"I tagged the first page of the fairytale I got the spell from," Bonnie says, passing over the book. Elena leans forward to take it, being careful of Damon and her laptop sitting in her lap. She holds it in her hands and opens to the first page of the book. "Why are you on the first page?" Bonnie asks.

"To see if there are any warnings about using the spells in this book," Elena replies, flipping to the next page. "And here they are."

"Read them to us," Jeremy says.

"It says that the stories in this book are remakes of tales about real witches casting real spells on real people," Elena says, raising her head to arch an eyebrow at Bonnie.

"I didn't think to check for a warnings section," Bonnie admits sheepishly. Damon croaks and slaps one froggy foot to his face before narrowing his eyes at her. "I'm _sorry,_ Damon!" Bonnie exclaims. "I thought it was just a book of fairytales!"

Damon hops around to type a message on Elena's laptop. "Damon says that you should have realized that it could very well have real spells in it since you _did_ find it in your grandmother's house," Elena reads.

"You're right," Bonnie sighs.

Damon hops around on the keyboard but Elena scoops him up when he's mid-leap. "You don't have to be cruel, Damon," she tells him, erasing the message he was typing. "She honestly didn't _mean_ to turn you into a frog."

Damon croaks and contorts his froggy face into a very good remake of his typical scowl that shows he's _very_ unhappy with the way things are going. Elena sets him back down on her laptop. Elena picks up the book of fairytales she had set to the side and flips to the tag marking the first page of the fairytale Bonnie had gotten her spell from. Bonnie passes out grimiores to the others and everyone sets to work trying to find a way to set Damon free from the spell Bonnie had cast on him. Damon climbs up the front of Elena's shirt to perch on her right shoulder so he can read, too. When Elena nears the end of the fairytale, she finds a second spell. "Hey, guys, there's a second spell in this fairytale," she says.

Everyone looks up. "What's it for?" Caroline asks.

"Basically another witch had gotten tired of the first witch's spell having a nasty side-effect on every girl who encountered the Frog Prince. This witch used her magic to cast a spell to locate the Frog Prince's one true love and guide her to the Frog Prince so everyone could be free of the spell. While the second witch did agree the Frog Prince needed to learn a lesson for his bad behavior, she felt it was wrong to have that lesson also effect every unfortunate girl who stumbled across him," Elena replies, looking down at the book. "It talks about the second witch casting two spells, one to bring the Frog Prince in contact with his One True Love and the other to give the girl the ability to understand him when he tried to talk, though everyone else would just hear frog-talk. That way the spell could be broken in half the time."

Everyone exchanges looks with each other and shrugs. "Well, they're from the same fairytale as the first and helped break the spell," Rick points out. "Maybe this is the way we'll break the spell on Damon."

"Read further into the fairytale, passing the spells," Bonnie says. "I want to know what else happened after the second witch cast her spells."

Elena nods and turns her attention back to the fairytale. "Okay, after the second watch casts her spells, both of which are described in detail in here, the story goes to focus on the girl who would break the spell," Elena says. She frowns. "Turns out the Frog Prince had royally pissed off this girl prior to the spell being cast. In fact, what he did to her was _why_ the spell was cast in the first place. The first witch had found out about what the Frog Prince did and cast the spell to punish him for what he did. When the girl had gone to the pond the Frog Prince was living in to relax one day, she heard his voice and turned to yell at him but all she saw was a frog. That's how she found out he had been turned into a frog because of what he did to her."

"You know, that part about the Frog Prince and the girl who was his one true love having some fight or other shortly before the prince was turned _into_ a frog sounds pretty uncanny," Jeremy says, casting a sidelong glance at his sister.

Elena glares at him. "Don't even _finish_ that thought, Jer," she warns him.

He raises his hands to pacify her. "I was just saying!" he protests.

Damon looks pretty damn smug. It takes the others a few seconds to figure out what is going on. "Are you suggesting _Elena_ is Damon's true love?" Caroline demands, obviously disgusted with the thought.

"There's really only one way for us to know for sure," Rick points out. That cues a debate to rise from four throats.

Elena scowls and stands up, causing the room to fall into an instant silence. "Bonnie, can you do the spells just so that everyone will shut up on this absurd topic?" she demands, walking around the table to pass the fairytale book to Bonnie.

"There's no harm in trying them," the young witch replies, taking the book from Elena and turning to the spells to examine what she needs to do. "According to these notes to the side of the spells, they will take about twelve hours to go into full effect," Bonnie says.

Elena is the first to look at her watch. "So between seven and eight tomorrow morning," she says. She looks at the frog on her shoulder. "Don't go waking me up just to see if you're right or not," she warns Damon. "Tomorrow's Saturday and I like sleeping in when I have the chance."

"I'm going to need to hold him while I cast the spells," Bonnie says nervously.

Damon immediately ducks behind Elena's neck under her hair. Elena sighs and reaches up to drag him out, and he's using his sticky feet to try to hold on tight. But it's no use. Elena holds him up in front of her face. "Look, she's just trying to turn you back to normal," she says. "You know damn well that she didn't _mean_ to turn you into a frog. Quit acting like a baby, Damon." He croaks his protest at being called a baby. "You _are_ acting like a baby, whether you'll admit to it or not. Now, if you want that spell lifted, you are going to have to let Bonnie hold you and you are going to be nice for a change. If you aren't nice, I'll let her turn you into a cricket." Damon's big frog eyes bulge at that threat. "Then be nice for once in your life."

With that, Elena gently deposits Damon into Bonnie's hands. Bonnie and Damon eye each other dubiously for a long, tense moment before Damon croaks and crosses his front legs and gives her his patented 'Get on with it' face, frog-edition. Bonnie takes a deep breath and begins to casts the two spells. As soon as the last word of the second spell passes her lips she deposits Damon back in Elena's hands.

"Can I remind you that I _really_ hate frogs?" Bonnie asks, wiping her hands on her jeans.

"And you _really_ don't like Damon, and now your two least favorite things are combined in one," Elena recites as if from memory, allowing Damon to climb back up onto her right shoulder. Damon taps her three times on the neck with one foot. "What, Damon?" she asks. He hops in place a couple times. "Okay, okay, I'll get you to my laptop," she groans. She walks back over to Damon's chair, where she had been seated. As she sits down, she picks up her laptop and puts it in her lap. Damon hops around the keyboard. Elena sighs and turns to Stefan. "You need to go fetch a blood bag and a small bowl," she says.

"Why?" Stefan asks, confused.

"Damon doesn't know if he has useable fangs in this form but his need for blood has not vanished with his natural body and he _refuses_ to use your diet even if he _is_ a frog now. And I'd _really_ rather not wake up tonight and find him trying to drink _my_ blood," Elena explains. Damon, meanwhile, had been hopping over the keyboard and now hops up onto Elena's hand to get her attention. She looks at the screen. "And he says if you try to substitute animal blood for human, you will be in excruciating pain when he returns to normal."

Stefan sighs and pushes off his seat on one of the couches and vamps first to the basement for a blood bag then to the kitchen for a small ceramic bowl. He returns to the living room with the items and politely holds them while Elena moves the laptop from her lap to the table next to Damon's chair. Then she carefully takes the bowl and balances it in her lap before taking the blood bag from Stefan. Stefan returns to his seat while Elena carefully pulls the valve off the blood bag so she can pour some into the bowl in her lap. Damon croaks to signal its full enough and Elena reattaches the valve. Damon hops down to Elena's lap from her shoulder and begins drinking the blood from the bowl.

"You know, that is disturbingly fascinating," Caroline admits ruefully, entranced with watching Damon drinking blood as a frog.

"What is?" Elena asks.

"Watching a frog drink blood and knowing the frog is actually Damon," Caroline says sheepishly.

Elena looks down at Damon, who is now sitting in his empty bowl. "Do you need more?' she asks him. He shakes his head 'no'. "Okay then. We'll just take this with us," she says, standing up with the bowl and blood bag in tow. Damon hops from the bowl to Elena's shoulder. Elena stashes the bowl and the blood bag in her purse before shouldering it. She then puts her laptop in hibernate and closes it. "Well, we're headed back to my place. You want to ride with me or Rick, Jer?" she asks.

"I'll ride with Rick, you and Damon go on ahead," he replies.

Elena wrinkles her nose at him. "Don't say it like we're an item," she says, making her way towards the front door. "Everyone meet back here at six tomorrow evening. We'll give the spells a little extra time to work before we get back together to see if anyone's affected." She doesn't give anyone a chance to reply as she opens the front door and walks out, closing the door behind her. Damon croaks at her. "Shut up, Damon. I don't need you making any wisecracks even if I can't understand them," she says as she makes her way to her SUV. Damon croaks again, this time a questioning tone to it. "If you're asking how I know you're making wisecracks the answer is I know you. You'd make a wisecrack given the smallest opportunity. And the past couple of hours have given you _plenty_ of material."

Elena climbs into her SUV and shuts the door. As she starts the ignition, Damon starts croaking softly. Elena sighs. "You do realize that all I hear is a frog croaking when you try to hum," she tells him sourly as she pulls the car in a tight circle in the small amount of free space she has available in the boarding house's front yard. She pulls down the long drive "It's very irritating." Damon lets out a particularly loud croak. "I don't know what you just said, but I can tell it wasn't very nice. Seriously, Damon, I thought you wanted to prove to me you deserved forgiveness." Damon sighs as Elena reaches the road. She turns toward town. "Stop trying to hum because it just sounds like a frog that won't stop croaking in my ear. And you obviously have no idea how annoying that is because if you _did,_ you wouldn't be putting me through it." Damon croaks. "How many times do I have to say that I can't understand you most of the time?" Elena demands. "I _don't_ speak frog, Damon. And right now, you are a _frog."_ Damon lets out a long croak. "I know you don't want to be reminded but you're stuck that way until you get true love's kiss. And don't even _think_ anything that includes me and love or kiss in it." Damon makes an all-too-innocent sounding croak. "Do you want to find out if you can bounce back from getting stomped on, Damon?" Damon makes a quick double-croak. "Then quit being an ass."

Twenty minutes later has Elena in her room getting ready for her shower. Damon's still perched on her shoulder when she opens her underwear drawer, but he leans forward a little too far and falls into the drawer. Elena doesn't notice as she finds the panties she's going to wear tonight and shuts the drawer, with Damon in it.

**Damon**

Okay, I had _not_ planned on getting stuck in Elena's underwear drawer. I had _hoped_ to be able to sneak in the bathroom with Elena and watch her shower. And the way I fell in, now I'm on my back. You will never see something more pathetic than a frog stuck on its back. It's worse than a turtle. I try to call out to Elena for a little help but I hear her going about her room, blissfully unaware that I'm stuck in here.

When I hear her bathroom door shut and lock, I know I'm stuck in here until she gets out. There's no _way_ the tiny frog body I am in will be able to open this drawer on its own. Going from sixty-nine inches to less than _two_ is horrible. I roll these huge eyes Bonnie magically gave me in search of a way to at least right myself. I notice that I landed right next to the wooden front of the drawer. That could help me get right-side up again. If I could just stretch my right legs over and latch on, I'll be sticking to the side of the drawer rather than being stuck on my back. Unfortunately, it's a _lot_ harder to do than it sounds. It takes several attempts before I finally manage to latch onto the side.

Since I'm still stuck in here until Elena gets out of her shower, I might as well do a little investigating and see what goodies she has tucked away in here. I hop back down, landing on my feet this time, and thoroughly examine her underwear drawer. I find that Elena just puts her bras _and_ panties in the same drawer. I halt my investigation upon stumbling across a racy little ice blue g-string. Ooh, baby, motherlode! It _had_ to have been a gag gift or something, because she would _never_ wear such a thing. Just as I'm about to examine the bit of fabric in detail, I hear Elena's shower turn off. I have to make my way back to the top of the stack so that I will be on top when she gets out and I can have her get me out of here. While I'd _love_ to get a better examination of Elena's underwear drawer, I'd rather not be trapped in here overnight.

I make it to the top of the pile just as Elena opens the bathroom door. I start croaking my mayday alert in an effort to get her attention.

**Elena**

I sigh when I hear Damon croaking non-stop. "Damon, what did I tell you about trying to hum?" I ask tiredly, looking around. I frown when I don't see him anywhere. "Damon?" I call out softly, stepping into my room. To be honest, that doesn't _sound_ like the croaking he does when he's trying to hum. It's a lot louder, for one thing, as if he's trying to alert me to something. "Damon? What's going on? Where are you?" I ask. I follow the sound of the croaking to my dresser. I sigh. "Did you fall into my underwear drawer, Damon? One croak, yes. Two croaks, no." One croak follows that then silence. I groan and open the drawer to see him tangled up with the ice-blue g-string Caroline talked me into buying as a gag, though I swore to her I would _never_ wear it. "And you couldn't wait patiently on top while you were trapped in there, could you?" He croaks three times with a deliberate pause between the first two. "So you could have but you didn't _want_ to be patient," I conclude. He croaks once. I reach in and carefully untangle him from the g-string. "I'm sure you're expecting the story behind this." He croaks once as I set him on my shoulder and toss the g-string back in the drawer. I shut the drawer. "Fine, but only because by the time you get your voice back, it will be such old news that you won't be able to tease me about it." He lets out a single long croak as I make my way over to me bed and climb in. "Damon, if you want to hear this story, you're going to have to shut up." He sighs. I lift up a hand for him to jump into so I can lie down. When he's in my hand, I put him on my pillow and reach over to turn off my lamp. I then make myself comfortable on my pillow next to him. "Anyways, the story behind that g-string is actually _your_ fault," I tell him. He croaks a question. "I'm about to tell you how it's your fault. Basically, when you broke off whatever it is you and Caroline were doing, she shanghaied me into a shopping trip. That's Caroline's solution to a guy breaking up with her: shopping. The worse the heartbreak is for her, the more she spends. I have _no_ idea how Sherriff Forbes can afford the credit card bills Caroline runs up. But that's off-topic. Anyways, when you broke things off with her, she maxed out three credit cards that had been nearly paid off. And she can never go on these shopping trips alone. No, she always has to drag either me or Bonnie or both of us along and we have to spend something, too. Well, we were working on the second credit card she had gotten from her mom when Caroline realized that I hadn't bought anything. Coincide that realization with spotting the g-string set and she decided I _had_ to buy it. She guilt tripped me into using my credit card to buy it, saying that she was going to return everything she had gotten if I didn't buy something and if I was going to buy something, I might as well buy it. I caved, as usual, because some of the stuff she had splurged on had been stuff she had been wanting for ages. And I should tell you that set was gotten from a Victoria's Secret in Richmond, so it didn't come cheap." I yawn sleepily. "Anyways, there's your story. I'm getting some sleep. G'nite."

Damon croaks his 'goodnight' right as I slip off to dreamland.


End file.

Vampire Diaries, Humor, Romance