Naruto Swagger

No, I don't own Naruto, but I do own my pants. YOU CANT HAVE THEM!

And so, without further ado, I present too you: The story.

* * *

The sudden screams of a death metal hybrid band tore through the darkly painted bedroom. The youth, violently disturbed from his sleep rolled off his bed in a misaimed grab at the clock radio currently perched on the edge of his nightstand. Rather than turning off the clock he smashed rather ungracefully, into the side of aforementioned nightstand face first. He slowly rolled onto the floor, taking all the blankets from his bed with him as he fell. So began another day in the life of Uzumaki Naruto. He groaned as the song faded away with the strum of one last distorted guitar chord, only too be replaced by the loud, and rather obnoxious sound of the morning radio-caster. 

"Hey hey hey! All you kiddies and working Joe's out there better get out of bed and on your way, because its time for..." There came a short pause, followed by the honking of numerous horns and the wails of countless other generic noisemakers. "YOUTH POWER!" The continued wail of a siren noisemaker accompanied by a backup chorus of kazoos was violently stopped, as Naruto brought his fist brutally down on the off button of the clock radio.

He pulled back one of the heavier blankets, which had fallen over his head on the trip from mattress too floor, and peered up at his roof. He brought his hands too his eyes too rub away the sleet that resided there after the few hours' sleep he'd gotten. After a few minutes in which he allowed his rather clouded brain too clear itself of the early morning fog that seemed too accumulate there every night. He scratched his head one last time and picked himself up.

Clad in only his Orange T-shirt, and black boxer shorts, he made his way down the hall, stopping shortly too smash his fist repeatedly against a rather scarred and scratched looking door.

"Yo, Kiba! Get yer sorry ass out here! There are things too do, and you don't get off just because you're a bit hung over!"

There where assorted shuffling sounds, followed by what oddly sounded like several pounds of dirty laundry being hefted at the walls, before the door creaked open. Kiba poked his head around the doorjamb, running one hand through a rather mangled looking case of bedhead. From between his legs, a disgruntled looking Akamaru barrelled out of the room, and down the hall. No doubt trying too make it too the doggy door as quickly as his stubby legs would carry him. There was business too be done.

Kiba too joined Naruto on the short trudge down the hall, he clad in flannel pyjama bottoms, exposing a rather well tattooed chest. He took the time too grab a black t-shirt which had been hanging on doorknob, thrusting it over his head and arms as they made their way down the hall into their two bedroom apartments rather cramped kitchen.

Uzumaki Naruto and Inuzaka Kiba, roommates for the past three years of their lives, had started the daily grind yet again.

Naruto yawned and set a yellowed looking electric kettle on its stand, waiting drowsily for the water within too boil too an acceptable amount for cooking his ramen. As soon as he heard the satisfied click, and pulled the kettle from its stand. He shuffled through the overhead cupboards in the tiny kitchen, before pulling down two random cups of instant Ramen, each emblazoned with the brand "Mr. Noodle" on the side. Taking the kettle, and ramen cups, he shuffled across the small room too their solid looking (if a little dented) kitchen table. He dropped heftily into his chair across from Kiba, who had simply pilfered several Pop-tarts from the fridge (the teen had an inexplicable taste for them when chilled)

Peeling the aluminium wrapper from one of his pastries, he took a bite, eyeing his comrade across the table warily. He took a few more idle bites from his makeshift meal, becoming aware of the padding of four callused feet as Akamaru trotted back into the house. "Where's Chouji?" Kiba scratched his chin as he uttered the question too no one in particular. "I thought he passed out on the couch last night?"

"He went home, _you_ where the one who passed out, remember?" Came Naruto's reply through a rather large mouthful of soggy beef flavoured noodles. He chewed for a second before swallowing the mouthful. "I swear, for someone who enjoys it so much, you really cant hold your liqueur." A more than slight smirk accompanied the comment, much too Kiba's chagrin.

"_Hey_! Words hurts you know" Kiba grinned a little, scratching Akamaru behind the ear as he rested his chin against the palm of his hand, effectively propping himself up against the life-worn table. "I wouldn't say much," he tapped his index finger against his chin in thought "You ran around dancing with the lampshade on your head after two bottles of Guinness." Kiba smirked indignantly. No matter the insult, there was always a comeback when it came too Naruto.

"Fine then, where both lousy drunks." Naruto grumbled something along the lines of 'stupid dog smelling idiot' before leaving the room too drop onto the couch in their slightly more spacious living room. He reached a searching hand deep into the cushions of the faded looking couch. After a few minutes digging (as well as finding a few rather _unpleasant _treasures from within the couch) he pulled up a shiny black plastic remote control. Leaning back into the couch, he pressed a button simply marked 'play'. Within a few seconds the grinding sound of turning gears, followed by a whispered click.

The CD dropped down into the path of the laser, triggering the speakers too pulse and boom. The massive volume barely phased the youth. He pressed a few more buttons, cycling through till he found a song he felt would be worth his time too listen too. He yawned, shifting over on the couch as Kiba entered the room, fully clothed as he had just changed out of his pyjamas.

Kiba cradled a cup of coffee, no doubt made from the remaining water in the kettle after Naruto had made his ramen. Both sat in relative silence as they let the music filter through their sleep clogged systems.

"Man Naruto, how can you listen too this California bull?" Kiba snorted at the current music choice, before snatching the remote from his roommate and switching through too a style he found a little more _appropriate. _The sounds of a completely off the wall and upbeat ska tune pounded from the speakers. Reggae guitars, walking bass, blistering double bass drums, all laced together with an almost amusing set of brass instruments. Kiba smiled genuinely, leaning back into the couch and nodding his head in tune too the bass.

"Alright alright, enough of this." Naruto lifted himself from the couch, raked his hand once quickly through his hair and stretched every sleep stiffened muscle and ligament in his body. "We gotta get going."

"Whats the plan then Uzumaki?"

Naruto thoughtfully scratched at the fine coating of stubble that had formed on his chin. "How about you go grab Chouji, I gotta get changed and I see if I can track down what happened with Gaara after he left the pub last night."

"Sounds fair" came the reply of Kiba as he took his jacket from its peg on the wall and tossed it haphazardly over his shoulders. "So am I taking Chouji back here, or?"

"Yeah yeah, take him back." Naruto waved his hand idly at his scruffy looking roommate. "Just make sure you can get him away from her in one piece ok?" Halfway through his comment Naruto had begun his walk back through the halls in search of the telephone. "I swear that woman has claws."

"Whatever, Later Uzumaki" Kiba gave a half-hearted salute before opening the door onto the street, and stepping out into the brisk Autumn air of Konoha in October, Akamaru close on his heels.

* * *

Chouji woke up slowly, thoughts of the previous night rushing into his groggy mind. 

He groaned, loudly. What else could he do? How the other three managed too consume so much damned alcohol was beyond him. Even with his body size and weight being at least twice as much as either of them, he found himself thinking thoughts of pink elephants and talking mailboxes after drinking a fraction of what any of them guzzled. It seemed that even with his considerable size, Chouji could get a buzz from sniffing beer stoppers.

He rolled over slightly; only too find his left arm trapped between the mattress, and something.

Something warm, and soft, and... Breathing?

This being the first time in the better part of three weeks that Chouji had managed too come home for the night, it was understandable that he was startled, but seeing the fact that she'd been staying with him in the apartment for the better part of a year now it shouldn't of been that much of a shock. Even so, he went about with the risky business of removing his arms from their current position around the lightly snoring bundle next too him. He slowly managed a slight tug at his trapped limb, shifting her slightly onto her front.

"Mmmm..." Came her barely audible moan of protest "Chouji-Kun, don't go yet..." she rolled back against him, pushing her nearly bare back against his chest and stomach. She clasped a hand around his free arm, and snuggled herself into it, obviously intent on not letting go _anytime _soon.

Chouji sighed and leaned back against her, pressing his lips against her temple in a quick kiss. "I've gotta go, I have practise today, you know that." He struggled slightly too free himself from the tangle of limbs she'd dragged both of them into.

"But they always take you away, and send you back too me too late too have any fun with." Her lips curled down into a pout as she burrowed herself further into Chouji's front.

"Il try and be home earlier tonight, ok?" He pleaded with her, his voice loosing much of its resolve as her voice took on its pouty tone. He lugged himself too the dresser on the other side of the room and rummaged through several of the drawers. Within a moment he pulled out a pair of large camouflage pants, as well as a black T-shirt emblazoned with a strange shamrock logo and the words "Flogging Molly". He turned his back too her as he slid his clothing on, looking over his shoulder slightly too see her Begin crawling down over the sheets. She sat on the edge of the bed for a moment before nimbly coming too her feet. She sauntered too Chouji, and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Come on, puleaaaase Chouji-kun?" She unleashed two large shining puppy dog eyes, whimpering slightly. She tightened her grip as Chouji sighed in resignation and dropped

The pair of socks he'd been preparing too put on. Dammit, Temari always got her way...

* * *

Naruto dialled number after number, where had Gaara gone last night? After the thirteenth call Naruto sighed in resignation. Gaara really needed too shell out and get himself a phone. "Well, he's not at any of his usual haunts, that only leave's one place." 

Naruto grinned cheekily, putting the phone back on its stand and reaching for his Orange fur trimmed jacket. This was going too be fun.

* * *

Stairs, lots and lots of stairs. Kiba stopped at the sixteenth landing; buckling over and putting his hands on his knees in a futile attempt too catch his breath. He'd gotten too Chouji's apartment building easily enough, it wasn't all that far from where he and Naruto lived. Getting too Chouji's apartment on the other hand, wasn't going too be as easy. 

Temari, it seemed, didn't like any apartments at a reasonable height from the ground floor, and so Kiba was currently walking, up the twenty flights of steps, too the twentieth floor. "What a day for the damn elevator too break." Akamaru barked from two flights up, urging Kiba forward. "Hold on would ya? Not all of us have the stamina of a three year old mutt you know!" A growl followed up with a whine met his ears. He groaned one last time, before starting up the next flight.

Upon reaching the top, he set out for Chouji's door. He found it quickly enough; nobody else would have a door so polished except for Chouji and Temari. He motioned too knock before he realized that the door was already opened a fraction of an inch. Grasping the doorknob he pushed it open and entered the apartment. Looking around the full realization of the fact that his friend was living with a woman hit him like a bag full of doorknobs. Framed pictures and prints of paintings hung perfectly against the light beige walls. Dark oak flooring reflected a patch of light streaming in through a window, setting off the black leather furniture perfectly. Bookshelves settled in a corner, filled with self help books and a multitude of novels. Kiba noted with approval that Chouji had managed too get his CD and Vinyl collection in as well. The larger part the wall reverse of the couch was covered with a massive entertainment unit, which housed two moderate sized speakers. A veritable rainbow of colours signified the CD cases that filled up the shelves surrounding the speakers.

"Hey! Anybody home?" Kiba looked around the apartment a little more, before stopping in front of what seemed too be the bedroom. The sounds of some sort of scuffle made it through the door, peaking his intrigue.

Now, any other _normal _human being would of stopped, evaluated the current situation, and come too a conclusion. Now stop and think, and remember whom this is where dealing with, and remember I said _Normal_.

Kiba grasped the doorknob firmly, twisted it and forced said door open. The sight that met his eyes was truly one too behold.

Kiba turned a deeper red than most people would consider mortally possible.

Chouji jumped in surprise, reaching for his shirt too cover his chest, complete with a rather embarrassing butterfly tattoo he'd gotten the previous week. He quickly pulled his shirt down over his head and jumped from the bed, pushing Kiba out the door, pulling it closed behind him.

"WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?" Chouji nearly screamed as he grasped Kiba, who was by this point laughing uncontrollably at what he'd just seen. Chouji's voice took on a much more urgent and frightened tone. "Do you have any _IDEA _what she's going too do too you?" he whispered frantically, pushing his friend towards the door as quickly as he could.

Temari sat in bed, currently dumbstruck. Things had happened so quickly that her brain was still attempting too unravel and understand. She pulled her shirt down over her stomach. Her brain quickly came from its stupor

Kiba had been in her room. Kiba had seen her in her room, in her bed, with Chouji. Her train of thought continued like this for a moment, running through the events until she came too her conclusion.

Kiba had too die. Simple as that.

She jumped from the bed, pulled her shirt down further until it covered her completely, and charged out of the bedroom. "KIBA! GET BACK HERE!"

Currently, Kiba was halfway out the door, while Chouji was ushering him through.

Kiba looked up a moment too late, Chouji had long since gotten out of Temari's way, leaving the slightly feral looking boy open too a full assault. She jumped at him; both her hands curling around his throat in an attempt too choke the very life from his body. "WHAT!" Smack! Kiba's head hit the floor. "WHERE!" Crack! Kiba's head hit the wall. "YOU!" Smash! Kiba's hit the door. "THINKING!" She shook Kiba viciously, now kneeling over his nearly unconscious form. "Barging in like that without a words notice. Charging into our bedroom, what's your problem?" She let his his limp body fall against the floor. Seething with anger she took a few deep breaths, pulling a loose strand of hair behind her ear and retreating back too the bedroom. Her face blushed a deep crimson, feeling extremely embarrassed now that her anger had abated at least a little. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she put her fingertips too her temples. She massaged the sides of her skull. She was never going too live this down.

Chouji grabbed Kiba by a shoulder, pulling his wounded companion from the floor and leaning him against the doorframe. "Well, I did warn you, didn't I?" He grinned evilly, patting Kiba's shoulder. "You should know better than too mess with Temari, this makes it what? The fourteenth time she's kicked your sorry ass?"

Kiba grunted in agreement, rubbing the first of several large bumps that where forming on his head. That girl was an absolute savage. It seemed that whenever he so much as looked at her the wrong way she beat the living daylights from him with a ferocity usually reserved for cheap kung fu action movies. He straightened himself out, shook his head and cracked a few of his stiffened joints.

"Erm, not that I don't mind having you over Kiba, but why are you here? Practice isn't until noon, its nine in the morning" Chouji scratched the back of his head, pondering the question he'd just asked.

"I came too get you, Naruto wants everyone back at the apartment as soon as possible, me and him have worked something out that's going too be worth your time too learn about." Kiba's explanation came out groggy and slightly slurred. It would seem that Temari's beating had left more than a little lasting damage. He shook his head in a similar fashion too that of a soggy dog. "Il explain later, just get your junk together and let's get on the move dude."

"Fine, fine, gimme a minute then." Chouji donned a trademark sated smile, heading back too his and Temari's shared bedroom for a pair of pants and the rest of his daily wear. Upon opening the door, he found Temari standing in front of the mirror, tying her hair back into four tight ponytails with a handful of black bands. She had since gotten dressed, a tight fitting Orange t-shirt, emblazoned with the phrase "FUEGO". She had layered this with a Short cut net shirt that stopped halfway between her elbows and wrists. Her jeans seemed too be older than she was, as they where faded and torn in numerous places, tattered with patches and embroidered in numerous locations, but yet they showed off her figure perfectly. She finished with her hair and turned too stare Chouji down. She tossed him a large pair of camouflage pants before lifting his bullet belt from the dresser and handing it too him as well.

Once she saw he had finished dressing Temari sauntered over too him, leaned up onto the balls of her feet and gave him an affectionate peck on the cheek. "So, the idiot's still alive?" She put her arms around his neck and played with the hair at his nape.

"Barely." Chouji smiled at her in earnest, replacing one of the blank shells on his belt too keep it fastened around his waist. His hands now free, he hugged her gently before breaking away and moving too leave the room, Temari close on his heels.

Kiba looked up from where he was currently sorting through Chouji's CD collection, alerted by the entrance of the houses other two occupants. He cringed a little as Temari shot him a mild death glare, before taking a seat on one of the leather couches.

Chouji tossed his head and tied on a black bandana before opening the door for Kiba and waving goodbye too Temari. Once outside the door her crossed his arms behind his head, trudging down the hall with Kiba sauntering by his side. Akamaru barked and ran too catch up with them, having been waiting outside the door during the entire Temari ordeal. For some reason the dog refused too ever enter a home inhabited by a woman.

"What was it that Naruto wanted anyway?" He questioned his companion before yawning and making his way too the elevator. "And why couldn't it wait until noon?"

"Il let him explain it too you himself, its... Complicated" Kiba shrugged, and upon noticing Chouji's trajectory towards the elevator he spoke up. "Hey Chouji, the elevators broken... Isn't it?"

Chouji chuckled lightly, pressing the call button only too have the doors open within a few seconds. "That was the landlords idea, he's a tight ass when it comes too money, and thought that nobody other than his tenants should be aloud too eat up the electricity for riding in this thing."

Kiba's jaw dropped. "Y...You mean I walked up twenty flights of stairs... Because your landlords cheap?" He nearly screamed, his mind raced with ways he could hurt this 'landlord' tarred and feathered? Nah, too easy. Dismemberment? Nah, Too messy. In the end he just shrugged it off and stepped into the elevator. "I don't much care for your Landlord Chouji..."

* * *

Naruto pulled open the door too Gaara's apartment complex. Stepping in too find exposed brick walls and ceilings. He stopped in front of the door too apartment sixteen, knocking forcefully on said door. 

"YO, GAARA! LET ME IN!"

* * *

Well, what did you all think? Please review; flames are as welcome as praise or Constructive Criticism, although Il completely ignore the flames and write you off as a burden on society. 


End file.

Naruto, Drama, Romance