Instant Star 1. Chapter 1

Being famous…well, it's kind of awesome. It lived up to all the hype and provided a certain kind of high that allowed Jude to finally realize why it's so lusted after. Although she never included being famous on her list of reasons she wanted to be a musician, Jude couldn't deny what a bittersweet perk it was; it was becoming an addiction to be loved by so many people, to have so many fans. And as of lately the paparazzi hasn't been too much of a burden, and the press seemed to be on her side again.

Tommy, on the other hand, was a different story.

The press hadn't only taken Jude's side, but made her the victim in their fictional abusive relationship and named Tommy the enemy. No matter how much Jude denied it, and no matter how many 'official statements' she made, the story just kept circulating. So, understandably, Tommy wasn't having as much fun being famous as she was.

Aside from the fame and her sudden rush to the top, there was the unfailing happiness that is Tommy. When she needed a break from it all, he was her escape, he was her normal. She knew all of this wouldn't mean anything if she didn't have Tommy, and she surely couldn't survive the madness without him. Jude envied how he so easily brushed off the paparazzi and their stories; the last time she was in a bad light, she had a near break down and ended up locked in a music shop.

Without Tommy's defenses acting as a brick wall between them, he and Jude's relationship has been absolutely flawless. They owed a lot of that to their recent six week separation while Jude was on the second leg of her tour. It really allowed them time to grow as individuals while remaining apart, and offered the spare time needed to fully heal from the drama that Jude only refers to as 'Last year' and very optimistically assures Tommy of the better things to come in this new year, even though it was already nearly three months in.

The pain of their extended stay in New Brunswick was now only a mild sting in the back of their minds; leaving no physical harm other than a slight scar across Jude's cheek. Tommy has long since given up on feeling bad about that; Jude just wouldn't let him. Yes, he's the one who put the scar there, and yes, he might never forgive himself for it, but it wasn't intentional and he'll never do it again.

The scar wasn't the only thing that came from their unfortunate trip to Tommy's home town. From there also came the insane rumors about Tommy's abusive nature, started by a bruised Jude being photographed outside a hospital after one of Tommy's friends drugged and assaulted her; not to mention the bruises she must have had from helping trying to keep his drunken, bipolar mom from tearing the house apart.

Jude's been actively trying to forget the whole thing, and as more time's placed between then and now, she was finding this task less and less challenging. None of it really seemed like a big deal to her anymore, especially with how amazing everything was now. She just wished the rest of the world would catch up with her logic, especially Sadie.

The second Jude explained all that happened in New Brunswick the previous year to her sister, she's been relentless with her hatred of Tommy, placing full blame of all that occurred on his shoulders. Which, honestly, is where it belonged, but still, Sadie seriously needed to lie off. In Tommy's opinion, Jude was blindly optimistic about Sadie's eventual change in attitude. He knew Sadie wasn't going to be that easy, and it could take months before they'll all be in the same room together without conflict. Tommy suspected that deep down, Jude knew this as well - it's been a week since their engagement, and she hasn't told Sadie yet – but he didn't want to be the one to rain on her parade. And why should he - It was all irrelevant, anyway; nothing could possibly break them up this time. Their relationship was far too strong to be blown apart by a few words, or tabloid articles. The way Tommy saw it, soon they'd be happily married and laughing at those who ever doubted them and they would make their love last forever.

Until death do them part.


	2. Chapter 2

"Do you think Canada will be offended if I sang the American national anthem at a baseball game in New York?" Jude asked from where she sat cross-legged on the floor by the bed, her eyes drawn to the piece of paper in her hands with an open file lay strewn across her lap.

"Uh…Probably." Tommy answered from a few feet in front of her, his own hands busy working on building a desk he bought a few days ago. When he ordered it from Ikea, he requested next day delivery no matter the cost. Too bad the price was having to put the damn thing together himself. Tommy would've had someone else do it, but Jude laughed and told him to "Stop being a girl"; following that was a promise that she'd help. And apparently, Jude's definition of help was sitting by doing nothing while he did all the work.

Currently, Tommy's laying awkwardly under the desk trying to secure a drawer track in place while Jude read off the next step from an instruction booklet, "Are you sure the instructions said a number nine screw? This one isn't fitting."

"At which angle are you looking at the package?" Jude asked in return, sparing a glance toward the several plastic baggies containing various bolts and screws (all numbered from one to ten), before returning her gaze to her_ requests_ folder. Jude left on tour having given Darius a temporary no on his offer for another three year contract, and when she returned he handed over her file and fan mail with another request she's resume working for him. The jury was still out on that, but Just was almost certain she'd agree this time; Tommy was on the hook for three years, so why shouldn't she be? It sounded a hell of a lot better than starting somewhere new with a different producer.

"Oh," Tommy muttered a second later, staring at the pack of screws in front of him "Well, if I have the six, where's nine at?"

"I don't know."

"Unhelpful!"

Jude chuckled, "Sorry." She set her file aside and went over to him, sorting through the mess on the floor and handed him the appropriate screw. "Happy?" His response was a grumble of something unintelligible. "Cranky." Jude remarked

Tommy sighed with a light, amused, shake of his head and sat up, "Next."

Jude knelt next to Tommy, instructions in hand, "Secure panel F to panel B, painted out."

Tommy gathered the remaining pieces of wood into a small pile, examining the sides of the one labeled **B** "All the sides are painted."

Jude shrugged, "I don't know what to tell ya."

"Are you sure that's what it says?"

Jude rolled her eyes, "Yes, Tommy. I, like you, have visited the second grade and know how to read."

Tommy smirked, "Now who's cranky?" He caught sight of her sticking her tongue out before ducking back under the desk, propping up the panel that'll serve as support for one of the drawers and lining it up with the predrilled holes under the desk, "Secure it how?"

Jude reached over Tommy, speaking as she dropped the items in his waiting hand, "Number 8 screws and number 4 corner locking…hinge-y looking things. Hey, what about a guest role on Law and Order?"

"Which one?"

"SVU."

"Do you even know how to act?"

"If the Biebs can do it, so can I."

Tommy chuckled, "If you say so."

Jude resumed her previous position by the bed, bringing her file back to her lap, "They want me to play a distraught woman who's concerned her abusive boyfriend might be a serial rapist." She snorted, "They say it's perfect because I'll be acting from personal experience." She crumpled the paper and hailed it toward the garbage can, "Idiots."

Tommy shook his head, "You'd think they'd give it a rest already."

"Yeah." Jude murmured, and frowned, feeling bad for Tommy; he really didn't deserve the hell he's been catching lately. Once Tommy finished off the main panels of the desk, he moved out from under it and brought the box containing the drawer parts over by Jude. "Don't worry about it, babe." He said, as if able to read her thoughts, "It'll all blow over eventually."

It took another twenty minutes, but finally the desk was done. Tommy sighed in relief and perched on the edge of the bed.

"Look what a good job we did." Jude said, seeming proud of herself.

Tommy turned to glare at her, "You mean the job_ I_ did, while you did nothing?"

"Hey!" Jude objected, her expression turning offended "I may not have been part of the labor, but I read the instructions like a pro."

"And I'm sure it was a strain on you." Tommy remarked sarcastically "You must be exhausted."

"I am," Jude muttered matter-of-factly "And for your information, it _was_ a strain – look," She held up her index finger, "Paper cut."

Tommy rolled his eyes and stood, "C'mon, help me move this."

Jude reluctantly pulled herself from the comfort of their bed with a quiet grumble. "Why do I get the heavy side?" She complained, gaining another eye roll from Tommy, "They're both the same."

"No, my side has the drawers." Tommy's answering irritated expression made her giggle "Okay, fine." She gave up. Jude helped him move the desk to its appointed place in the bedroom and hopped up on the cool surface. "How come you're just now getting a desk?"

"Because I didn't have a reason to bring work home until you got here." Tommy smiled "It's really a shame, though, I'm sure that sexy new receptionist will miss me."

Jude's eyes narrowed, "Nice try." Ever since Darius made the three year offer, Tommy's been trying to persuade her to take it, sinking to any level necessary. He insisted that three years at Gmajor would be a lot less horrible with her around, and after they were both off the hook, they could do whatever they wanted – go where ever they wanted. That's what he said, anyway. Jude had a feeling his real reason was more along the lines of fear of losing her to another company, probably one far away, and them having to split up again.

"Well, with no one there to stop her…who knows what she'll try." Tommy hedged with a joking smile

"Shut up."

"You never know…"

"Stop." Jude warned, her face fully serious

Tommy ran his hands up Jude's thighs and settled on her hips, "Don't go," He pleaded softly with a pathetic looking pout, "Work sucks without you."

A gentle, loving smile lightened Jude's expression as she caressed his cheek "You make it seem like I've got a million labels after me…but even if there were, I wouldn't be going anywhere." Her voice a mere whisper of reassurance, "No worries."

"So you're coming back to Gmajor?"

Jude hesitated. Honestly, Tommy was the only thing in the Pro column of returning to working for Darius. The cons, however, were too many to list. After going back and forth for weeks and weeks, she tentatively made the decision that Tommy was worth it; they could fight the Gmajor bullshit together, and make more music along the way…but still…"Uh…maybe." She eventually answered "As long as Darius will let me make a few changes to the contract."

Tommy grinned; seeming fully convinced that everything will work out in his favor. Jude took note of the closeness between them, and smiled a minxy smile, "So, tell me, Tommy Q," Her eyes fixed the desk's surface where her finger was tracing invisible patterns, "What you think the weight capacity of this thing is?" She glanced up at him from under her lashes, and no sooner than their eyes met, Tommy's mouth was on hers in a deep kiss.

Tommy's grip kneaded on Jude's waist as he stepped between her legs and brought their hips together. Jude let out a shaky breath as Tommy began kissing down her neck and collar bone, his hands making quick work of her shirt, leaving her in a bra and the cotton shorts she wore to bed. Jude brought his lips back to hers and ridded Tommy's upper half of clothes as well.

Jude shoved his sweatpants from his hips and gripped him through his boxers, eliciting a rough groan. Tommy hooked his fingers in the band of Jude's shorts and slid them down her legs, taking her panties with them; Tommy's boxers soon joined the pile on the floor. Tommy's mouth traveled back down her neck, nipping lightly at her shoulder, and then soothing the skin with his tongue. He began to move away when Jude caught him, "Where are you going?" She panted

"Condom."

Jude shook her head, "Don't worry about it." Tommy let it go and embraced her hungrily, engaging in a devouring kiss as their bodies fought to align in the slightly uncomfortable angle. With Tommy pressing at her entrance, Jude cradled his hips between her thighs as he filled her. A sharp gasp filled the heavy air around them as Tommy went in and out in a tortuously slow rhythm. "Tommy," Jude moaned out quietly, "Faster." Another louder moan escaped her as Tommy obeyed, her head falling forward against his shoulder. Jude came first, her body tensed around him, bringing Tommy closer to his own release. Jude met Tommy's thrusts, allowing him in deeper until he came as well.

Jude pressed her lips to his temple, laying her hand on the back of his head. She chuckled breathlessly, "I figured more on top of the desk, but that was fun too."

Tommy smiled and kissed her softly. His reply was cut off by the shrill ring of Tommy's house phone. "Ignore it." Jude mumbled against his lips. The ringing stopped, only to be followed closely by Jude's cell phone, than Tommy's. Jude sighed, "It must be important." She reluctantly pulled herself away from him and retrieved her cell phone. "Sadie."

"Same here." Tommy said, looking at the call log on his wireless phone

Jude laid on the bed and draped an arm over her stomach, phone pressed to her ear, "Hey Sades."

Tommy heard Sadie's chatter on the other line and rolled his eyes. He smiled down at Jude before joining her on the bed and trailing kisses across her belly. Jude bit back a giggle and held the phone away from her mouth. He smirked attached his lips to her ear, sending a chill through her body. "Stop." She mouthed to him with a smile. Tommy nibbled lightly on her earlobe. Jude laughed and pushed him away, "Sorry, Sades." She glared at Tommy, "What was that?"

"You're not listening to me!" Sadie whined urgently "This video is gonna ruin Tommy completely."

Jude furrowed her brow, "What?" She listened more intently to Sadie's rushed chatter more carefully, and ended the call in a rush "Shit!" She hissed as she stood from the bed.

"What?" Tommy called after her

Jude went to the TV and turned it on, manually changing the channel to the one Sadie mentioned. The image before Jude made her cringe. "Is that us?" Tommy asked from behind her

"Yup." Jude muttered, her voice thick "That's us." She watched the shaky cell phone video play on the screen before a news reporter began speaking, "And after this video was taken, the couple retreated inside where more shouting was heard before Jude exited the home bleeding."

Jude stood, silently watching the report and listening while Tommy got dressed. "Where are you going?" Jude deadpanned

"To see Darius."

"That's not going to help," Jude perched on the very edge of the bed and frowned at Tommy, "There's no spinning this one."


	3. Chapter 3

_"I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but you needed to know."_

_"Who the fuck are you to tell me what I need? Huh?"_

Once… twice…again…It just didn't get any better.

_"Tommy. Calm down."_

_"Don't fucking tell me to calm down, Jude!"_

No matter how many times she watched it.

_"I did it because I love you and I don't want to suffer anymore! All the crazy shit your mom did wasn't your fault!"_

"_I can't believe you did this…from day one, all I asked you to do was butt out, and couldn't even do that." _

_"And I've done everything you-"_

_"No! What I told you to do was stay the hell out of it!" _

_"And I did! I just wanted-"_

_"What you wanted? Everything is ALWAYS about what YOU want! You're so fucking selfish!"_

There he was, _screaming_ at her; Inches from her face, yelling and cursing and treating her like shit, treating her like she was nothing.

_"Tommy, you know that's not true. I-"_

_"You've been lying to me for weeks!" _

_"I didn't lie to you Tommy. I went behind your back, yes, but I never lied about it - I've been waiting for the right time to tell you."_

_"I want you gone." _

Despite the bad video quality, and the sounds of chatter interrupting the audio, Jude could hear it clearly. It lived in her darkest of memories. And she could feel it…the fear.

_"Talk about being bipolar! You're just like her!" _

_"Don't. You. Ever compare me to her again." _

_"Why not? You sure as hell act like it!"_

_"Shut the fuck up." _

_"Truth hurts." _

_"I want all your shit out of my house. Now."_

_"Tommy! Tommy, stop!" _

_"I have nothing more to say to you."_

Of course, the fear she felt now was a mere echo of how bad it used to be. And it's crazy to think she ever was scared of Tommy; in the years prior, she'd never been scared of him, ever. His temper was something she found amusing and often teased him about, calling him a dog with big bark, no bite. But that was all before she saw how bad he bite really could be, and had a scar to prove it.

The video ended, Jude rewound it. The scratchy audio filled the empty apartment once again; Tommy's harsh words met her ears and the image of their argument flickered before her on the computer screen. She watched Tommy storm toward her, and watched as she made no move to back away from him. She showed no outward fear toward him even though she was nearly shaking when he came at her. There was no flinch at his face being shoved in hers, no offence when he cursed at her…she just stood there and took it.

Jude didn't understand her own actions. Watching back how she acted back then pissed her off. She never held any desire to be one of_ those_ girls, ones who let their boyfriends treat them like trash and let them get away with it. It appeared she had absolutely no self-respect, no care or concern what so ever for herself. And that's just what anyone who watches this video will see also.

She wished she could broadcast to the world the turmoil she went through deciding to take Tommy back. Go into excessive detail about all the sleepless nights and emotional limbo she suffered before making the hardest decision of her entire life. But that could be detrimental to whatever spin Tommy's gonna put on the story, and the world will just believe what they want anyway.

In retrospect, Jude felt bad for not going with Tommy when he'd asked a couple hours ago. He was off to see Darius, though, and Jude wasn't in the proper temperament to deal with him. Tommy seemed more than a little concerned with her silence, Jude did her best to reassure him, but he left frowning anyway. He hadn't seen the whole video, just the clips they aired on TV. Jude hadn't seen the whole thing until an hour ago. Once she found the whole, uncensored video, she's been drawn to it, watching it over and over - Analyzing their every move, and their entire relationship; wondering if there were ever warning signs that Tommy was capable of such…cruelty. No recollection came to mind. Nothing before or after New Brunswick was that horrid.

After another six runs of the video, Jude was interrupted by the sound of the front door. She groaned inwardly; she hadn't had enough time to compose herself. She took a lingering deep breath and fixed a more presentable expression on her features.

"Hey babe." Tommy greeted quietly from behind her

Jude forced a smile, "Hey."

Tommy leaned over the back of the couch and pecked her on the lips before heading toward the kitchen, "Do you want to order in or go out for dinner?"

Jude glanced over her shoulder in confusion. Why was he acting so casual? "Uh…Either way's fine."

"Alright."

The conversation fell silent until Tommy went to sit with Jude on the couch, a bottle of water in hand. The only sound between them was the sound of Jude's laptop. "What are you doing?" Tommy asked when he realized what she was watching, his tone low and disapproving.

"I'm…" Jude sucked in a deep breath and let it out in a gust, "Reliving."

"Well, don't." Tommy closed the lid and slipped the computer from her lap

Jude crossed her legs and shot an unhappy glance in his direction, "What did Darius say about all this?"

"Nothing, really. He's just trying to figure out how to fix it." Tommy laid his arm along the back of the couch and his fingers started tapping nervously in response to Jude's lack of one. "He put Sadie on the job actually – she wants to talk to you, by the way."

Inching away from him, Jude wrung her hands together. The only face she could manage was a blank slate. She wasn't how she felt so she's trying not to feel anything until she's sure. Tommy's nerves weren't helping; they exuded a tense atmosphere and brought her even more on edge.

"Darius is thinking because it's such a shitty quality video, he can claim it's not even us."

Jude shook her head, "That won't work." She moved toward the edge of the couch and touched her feet to the floor, "What he can do, though, is say that the audio is fake."

"Like an overdub?"

"Yeah, it plays sloppy, so it'll be easy to believe." Jude stood and adjusted her shirt "I have to go see Sadie. I'll be back in a little while."

"I'll go with you." Tommy immediately volunteered

"No, it'll be quick." Jude pecked him twice on the lips, working to make her voice sound assuring, "I love you, babe."

Tommy managed a faltering, worried smile, "I love you too."

Within minutes Jude was gone, leaving behind the silence Tommy hated. He sighed and opened Jude's laptop, finding the video still on screen. He deliberated before watching it, deciding he was strong enough to handle it, and setting in the mind of how good things have been lately, and that none of the past mattered anymore.

Tommy played it through a couple times, unable to make sense of it. He didn't recognize himself. He couldn't take who he is and mesh it with the monster on the screen. And then there's Jude; calm and fearless, like she was the entire time in New Brunswick. The amount of respect he had for her will never lessen. Tommy shoved the computer aside and went off toward his room, praying for the first time in nearly a year that Jude wasn't rethinking everything.


	4. Chapter 4

Sadie's one to be depended on for many things, and those things usually ride along the line of making small miracles happen in the world of business. Jude's also been known to rely on her for much more personal matters as well, like talking her of a ledge or finding her mind when she's lost it; but Jude's never seen Sadie do both at once, and it's becoming a thing of fascination.

Jude watched as Sadie paced the length of their living room, cell phone pressed to her ear, a stack of papers in hand, arguing with someone about the appropriate air time for one of Darius' instant star finalists, who had apparently been gipped thirty seconds in a radio interview. Sadie's pacing came to a halt and her incredulous gaze fixed on Jude, "How could you let him talk to you like that?" She demanded, "Tommy's just…ugh! I've never hated someone so much in my entire life – Yes," Sadie's voice suddenly switched to professional mode in response to her being taken off hold, "That would be great, thank you. You too, bye-bye….Seriously, Jude!"

Jude sat up as Sadie came to sit next to her. She pleadingly looked to her older sister for some understanding. Only ten minutes in Sadie's presence and she's already called Tommy six names - two of which Jude was sure Sadie learned from Darius – and has yet to give Jude a chance to get a full sentence in. Sadie flitted quickly through her stack of papers and added them to one of the existing stacks on the coffee table. She retrieved her cell phone and punched in a number, "I can't believe you took him back – Hello, Brendon, it's Sadie." She tilted the phone away from her mouth, "If I ever snap, Tommy's gonna be the first to die." She whispered

Jude grimaced at the thought, "No, please."

"I just don't get it."

Initially, when Jude left, she was in need of some space to think and reign in her dark mood. But it dawned on her on the drive over that nothing's changed; the past is still the past, it's not going to approve with time, and it's the same past she's made amends with long ago. She freaked herself out over nothing.

Immediately after arriving, Sadie ordered Jude to sit on the couch, making her regret choosing Sadie to go to. There were a few pressing issues that needed discussing, though, so Jude complied with little fuss.

"Was that argument right before he hit you?"

Jude sighed, "He didn't hit me, Sadie. It was an accident."

"Yeah." Sadie scoffed

Jude twisted her engagement ring around her finger, hoping Sadie would just notice it so Jude didn't have to start the conversation. Somehow the words 'I'm engaged' felt like a ticking time bomb; Jude suspected Sadie's thinking was that her and Tommy's relationship wouldn't last and was counting on Jude's swift return to the anti-Tommy team. An engagement suggested otherwise. "Sadie," Jude started hesitantly, "I have something to tell you."

Again, Sadie split her attention between her work and her sister. Her fingers busy over the keys of her cell phone, she glanced at Jude, "What?"

"Can you stop for a second?"

"I'm in work mode."

"Well, switch gears, it's important."

Sadie set her phone aside and directed her gaze to Jude, "Okay, what?"

Jude chewed on her lip, suddenly unsettled under Sadie's judgmental stare. She really didn't have it in her to go another ten rounds with Sadie about how horrible Tommy is. Gathering up a little courage, she just spit it out. She heard the words leave her mouth, and watched as Sadie went from distracted to shocked, and from shocked to pissed, "You're engaged?"

"And I'm really, really, [i]really[/i] happy about it, Sade."

"You're only nineteen!" Sadie argued "You and Tommy have only been together a week."

"Seven weeks, "Jude corrected with a disappointed tilt of her head, "Can't you just be happy for me?"

Sadie's furrowed her brow in disbelief, "Happy for you? Jude, look what you're engaged to." She stabbed her finger toward the TV, which was conveniently showing the video of Jude and Tommy's argument. A look of genuine concern surfaced in Sadie's eyes, her voice soft an reasoning, "If you get married, you'll be in for a lifetime of that."

"He's different," Jude pressed the same two words she's been trying to force through Sadie's stubbornness for weeks. They made no change in Sadie's resolve, as usual, and brought up the same old argument, "He's not." Sadie frowned, "You're so young – do you really think you're ready to be committed for life?"

"It'll be a long engagement," Jude said, knowing it could be a lie; Tommy was talking a summer wedding. "That doesn't matter anyway, I'm absolutely sure about Tommy. We've been through so much together." Her hand absentmindedly wrapped around the locket hanging from her neck

Noticing this, Sadie sighed. The locket really was a nice thought, and it showed that Tommy really cared about his lost baby, even she couldn't deny that. Softer in tone now, Sadie grabbed Jude's free hand, "I'm so worried about you. I mean, I don't understand how you can let him treat you the way he does."

Jude offered a small, thankful smile, touched by Sadie's worrying. "Thank you for caring, but trust me, Tommy isn't like that anymore. You've seen how happy he makes me. You have nothing to worry about."

"Yeah, and I've also seen how much he's hurt you."

"He won't do it anymore."

"And how many times have you heard that?"

"More than I can count, but he-"

"Really means it this time? C'mon, Jude." Sadie's fingers brushed over Jude's engagement ring. It was plain, but beautiful; a simple gold band, topped with a square cut diamond. It was very…Jude. She had to give him credit, Tommy really knew his girl. "What about your career?"

Jude shrugged, "What about it?"

"It's rising, and the bigger you get, the busier your schedule gets."

"Tommy is part of my schedule," Jude reminded her, "He's my producer."

"But there's press and touring…do you want to tour while you're tied down?"

Jude rolled her eyes, "I won't be tied down, I'll be married, and I won't be doing anything different than I did last tour."

"It's not that simple." Sadie shook her head, "You'll see, and you'll regret marrying him this soon."

"I won't," Jude said, "I've never been so sure of anything."

"Whatever." Sadie dropped Jude's hand and turned back to her papers, "Hope you enjoy that fantasy world of yours."

llllllll

When Jude finally returned home, she found Tommy on the couch waiting for her, and trying incredibly hard to look like he [i]wasn't[/i] waiting for her. Jude smiled and met him with a kiss. "I'm so happy to be home."

Tommy grinned and pulled Jude on to his lap, thoroughly happy to have Jude back and in good spirits. "Things go bad with Sadie?"

"Does anything ever go well with Sadie?"

"What'd she do?"

Jude breathed a content sigh, lying her head on his shoulder, "I'll tell you later…can you tell me something, though?"

"Anything."

Jude lifted her head just enough to see his face, a flash of vulnerability crossing her own, "Please tell me, again, that I can trust you, and that we're gonna be okay."

A smile tugged at Tommy's lips as he reached up to cradle Jude's face in his hands, "You can trust me, and we're going to be fine. I love you."

And that's all she needed. No one, not even her own sister, could sway her on this; Tommy's all she'll ever need, and she trusted him completely.


	5. Chapter 5

"Rain sucks!" Jude declared as she sloshed through the front door of her and Tommy's apartment, completely soaked. The pouring rain pounded off the concrete outside, and its sound resounded through the otherwise peaceful home. She peeled off her leather jacket and dropped it to the floor mat.

"I told you it was going to rain." Tommy's distracted mutter came from the couch, his attention directed at the computer on his lap

Jude toed off her shoes, and stuffed her wet socks inside them before adding them to the puddle accumulating around her jacket, "But its almost April," She objected, "It's supposed to be spring – you know, sunny days, flowers, birds…animals coming out of hibernation."

"April showers makes for May flowers."

"Smart ass."

Tommy smirked and removed the headphones from his ears, "There's a towel behind you."

Jude turned and retrieved the towel from the coat rack; fresh from the dryer it felt. She offered Tommy a thankful smile and began dabbing at the exposed skin of her arms and neck.

"How'd the meeting with Darius go?"

Jude's response was a grumble of indifference. The past two weeks, Jude's been busy with her lawyer negotiating her contract with Darius. She was on a mission to reprise everything wrong with her last contract; like having no say in anything, for example. But Darius was a tough negotiator, and so were his overpaid lawyers. Apparently the strings Darius hung his puppets on were made of steel, and that steel had only one weakness: money. He wanted a bigger cut on Jude's touring profits. Sure, it didn't seem like a big deal, but Jude spitefully denied, not wanting him to have anything more than what he already makes off her. The meeting ended with a plan on meeting again the following day for final retouches, or – in Jude's opinion – an opportunity for her to cave on Darius' offer.

"What does it mean to have partial ownership?" Jude asked and wrapped the towel around her damp form

Tommy glanced up at her from the computer screen, "Regarding what?"

"Music catalogue."

"It means that Darius technically owns it, but he can't do anything with it without your consent."

"Hm." Jude considered, "That doesn't sound so bad. I mean, I'd rather it was mine, but I guess I can live with that."

Tommy shrugged, "Better than nothing – especially with all the trouble over your first one."

As one of the conditions of allowing Jude to revise her contract, Darius requested that Tommy be barred from the process. Tommy saw it coming, though. His work as vice president armed him with knowledge of the ins and outs of record contracts and their many loop holes that only work in Darius' favor. Darius, however, didn't take into account that Jude is Tommy's fiancé and any problems she had could be discussed at home; he's save Jude from many snares that way. "You're being careful, right? I mean, Vinny's watching out for you, isn't he?"

Jude touched her bare feet to the cold wood floor and began tip-toeing carefully across it toward the bathroom. "Yeah, he's been great. He's a real snark to Darius' stuck up lawyer too."

"That's Vinny for ya." Tommy smirked. His lawyer, Vinny, had been with him from the beginning; his sharp wit and 'Who gives a fuck' attitude always kept Tommy amused, and on the winning side of any argument he needed him for. Loaning him to Jude turned out to be a brilliant idea.

A quiet thud in the hallway broke the silence and brought a chuckle to Tommy's lips, "What'd you do?"

"Slipped." Jude grumbled from the hallway, her voice displeased. When no response from Tommy came, Jude scowled in his general direction, "No, that's alright, I'm fine. No need to check on me or anything!"

"Oh, you're fine." Tommy called back to her

Jude huffed an irritated sigh and scurried off to the shower.

With Jude in the shower, Tommy finished off the mix he was working on and shut down pro-tools. Gathering a lighter from the end table drawer, Tommy lit the 'easy burn' log in the fireplace and set out the containers of Chinese food from the previous night.

Since Sadie's been filled in on their engagement, Jude's been much more comfortable showing off her ring to everyone, even the press. They had their field day over it, and reporters have come to their own conclusions of how it came about. Jude gave a raving interview about the Valentine's Day proposal, gushing about how it was completely spontaneous and completely perfect. Sure, Jude hammed it up a bit for the cameras, but Tommy was flattered she thought so highly of it.

Personally, Tommy thought it was horrible; shaky and nervous in voice, and fidgety beforehand. He's still surprised Jude wasn't able to figure it out. His words bothered him also: "I was wondering if you'd marry me?" - Stupid. He always foresaw a proposal being more…something, anything but that. Jude said it was perfect, though, and if she's happy, he'll just have to be happy too.

Sadie gave Tommy her piece about the engagement about a week ago. She claimed jumping into an engagement the day after a six week separation was ridiculous and irresponsible. After so much of a rough patch, she said, Jude wasn't allotted enough time to heal before making such a huge life decision. As usual, Sadie doesn't know what she's talking about. Yes, they've gone through an extremely difficult time in the last five months, but that doesn't override the relationship they've spent years building; they're strong enough in love and friendship to overcome hardship. Sadie just needs to realize that.

At times, the thought of Sadie being his Sister in law made Tommy crazy. She'll become family, forever. In a few very, very small ways, he did love Sadie, and only as his future wife's sister. Eventually he might learn to love her as family, as a nagging sister you see portrayed in countless television shows, but that eventually could be years and years off. Right now the only person who had ears for Sadie was Jude and that worried Tommy more and more by the day. He never says anything Sadie says is wrong, per say; he just wished Sadie would put a sock in it already.

Jude's dad was a whole different issue. He – as far as Tommy' knew – is in the dark about all of this. Apparently his adventures abroad leave him without basic technology. Jude's been going through a hard time on whether or not to tell her father about the whole ordeal. She figured if she didn't tell him, and he found out elsewhere, he's be upset; and if she did tell him, he might add fuel to Sadie's already blazing flames. It's hard to watch Jude make painful decisions for Tommy's benefit; he would do anything to take that away from her. He'd happy except all repercussions of his own doing and leave Jude unharmed. He was strong enough for that now.

Jude's feet padding against the wood floor brought Tommy back to the present. She came into view wearing white t-shirt of Tommy's and close-fitting gray sweat pants. Tommy smirked at the pink fuzzy slippers on her feet. Sadie had given those to her a while back so they'd have matching pairs, but neither Jude or Tommy failed to notice what they resembled.

Holding back a laugh, Tommy picked up a takeout carton of Lo Mein and spun his fork around the noodles, "It's an emergency…" He mumbled teasingly

"Don't even go there." Jude warned as she settled next him

"A Sexmergency!" Tommy laughed freely, nearly choking while doing so

Jude's face flushed, "Shut up!" She glared at Tommy's laughter and weakly defended herself, "It sounded clever in my head."

"Then you're not very clever." Tommy snickered

Jude stared into her carton of Garlic chicken until Tommy's amusement died down. "Will you ever let that go?"

"Oh, c'mon! That's a great tale to tell the kids someday."

Jude's eyes widened, "No, no. That stays between us, and only us, forever."

Tommy grinned, his eyes sparkling with amused mischief, "We'll start the story with how their mommy created a new word for a speedy booty call and end it with those furry shoes of yours."

Jude pursed her lips and exhaled an annoyed breath through her nose. "You know," She started in a matter of fact tone, "One of these days, you'll have some sort of malfunction and I'll be there to laugh at you."

"A malfunction?" Tommy chuckled, "Like what?"

"I don't know, but it will happen eventually."

Tommy wrapped his arm around her neck and kissed her cheek, his tone still filled with humor, "Well what kind of relationship would we have if we weren't able to laugh at these things together?"

"I'm not laughing."

"You will." Tommy pressed his lips to the corner of her mouth "And just think of all the successful sexual encounters we've had since then."

A smirk began to form around her lips as she playfully shrugged him off, "You're shunned for the next fourteen minutes." She announced

Tommy sighed, "Fine."

With the exception of Tommy's snickering, they ate lunch quietly. The crackling fire place made Jude smile; she's always loved fireplaces, nothing calmed her more than being able to lie around the fire, listening to music. Also having a love for this, Tommy's made it happen as often as possible. Jude's been the only girl who preferred the fireplace over the TV, before he met her, Tommy didn't share that with anyone. That's just Jude, connecting with him on levels no one's ever touched and making him feel like less and less of an outsider to the rest of the world.

Tommy's amused smile turned adoring as he stared at her, and leaned in to kiss her. Jude allowed one kiss before leaning away, "You still have three minutes of shunning left."

Tommy rolled his eyes, "Just come here." He cupped the back of her neck and guided her in for a thorough kiss.

Jude smiled against his lips, "Thinking of all those 'successful encounters'?"

"Maybe."

Jude traded her carton for a can of soda off the coffee table, "Well, while you're in a good mood I have something to ask you."

"Uh-oh." Tommy sighed "Why, when questions start like that, do my good moods suddenly disappear?"

Jude offered a tiny apologetic smile, "It's not horrible, just something to think about."

Tommy set his food down and sat up, preparing, "Alright. What is it?"

Jude brought her legs up on the couch and turned to face him, "When I was meeting with Darius, he mentioned a new offer that came in, and I think we should take it." Her eyebrows arched into a pleading expression, "Please keep an open mind, and keep in account that I'm all for this."

Tommy took a deep breath, "Alright."

"MTV," Jude started, "Wants to do a feature about us – they'll have a crew come here and follow us around throughout the day, and they'll air it with my new music video."

"Jude," Tommy groaned, "No. I hate those things."

"I know, and I do too, but this could be really good for us and our careers."

"How?"

"It'll give the audience an opportunity to see the real us, not that manufactured version of us the press created."

"People will think whatever they want regardless of what we do."

"We can change their minds," Jude encouraged, "We'll prove we have absolutely nothing to hide and give them a positive prospective on our relationship. And you could really use the positivity, don't you think?"

Jude had a point. With all the insanity swarming the cover of any celebrity trash mag, a few good things would be a relief. If they opened up about their relationship, it'll get boring to the press and hopefully cause them to drop it. As Tommy considered this, he noticed Jude getting more and more hopeful. She -was smart - Tommy reasoned with himself - and level headed, if she thinks it's a good idea, maybe it is. "How long will this be for?"

"The crew will only be here one day," Jude answered enthusiastically, "And it's just a teeny hour special."

Tommy shook his head, answering with an unwilling, "Okay."

Jude grinned, "I knew you'd see things my way."

"On one condition," Tommy quickly added, his face one of mock seriousness "You have to tend to my emergency…"

"Don't say it."

"My sexmergency!"

Jude scowled with an unamused glare, "That doesn't even make sense."

Tommy shrugged, "Didn't make sense when you said it either." He smiled at her glaring, "Love you too, babe."


	6. Chapter 6

_Despite the sunlight peeking through the windows, with the lights off and the curtains drawn, it gave no light indoors. The eeriness of it had Jude rushing to let the light in to brighten her depressing gray surroundings. The hallway before her seemed to lengthen as she ran through it, like running on a treadmill. Eventually the narrow walls stretched around a corner, finally granting her access to the living room and the large sliding glass door that appeared in place of where the fire place should be. _

_Jude's eager grip ripped at the curtains. She tore them straight from the rod and threw them in a shredded heap on the couch. Her erratic breathing and pounding heart settled in the shining sunlight and her body fell limp to the ground. It was then she noticed a figure standing just outside the newly exposed window. He was standing facing away from her with his hands wrapped around the rod of the balcony. Though the figure gave no indication, Jude somehow knew it was Tommy standing out there. _

"_Tommy?" She called, shoving the door open "What are you doing out here?" Her skin warmed the second she stepped foot onto the balcony's concrete ground, bringing a content smile to her lips. _

_Even though there wasn't a cloud in the noon sky, a shadow lurked around Tommy's unmoving body as he muttered a scratchy, "Don't call me that."_

"_Call you what?"_

"_Tommy."_

_Jude's eyebrows knitted in a look of amused confusion, "Why not?"_

_Tommy's grip twisted around the rod, his voice low and cold, "That's not who I am." _

"_Well, who are you then?" Jude countered playfully_

"_Doesn't matter."_

"_Sure it does."_

_Tommy's head turned slightly in her direction, "Why do you care?"_

_Jude smirked, "I'd like to know who I'm married to."_

_In one quick motion, Tommy removed the silver band from his left ring finger and dropped it off the balcony, "I don't want to be married anymore."_

_Jude's eyes followed the ring's journey down the drop she suddenly realized they were hovering over and landed amongst the trees crowded at the bottom, "Why would you do that?"_

"_Don't come near me." Tommy whispered_

"_Why not?"_

_There was a long pause before Tommy finally turned to look at her, his hands still braced against the railing, "Because you'll get hurt." The smile slowly fell from Jude's face, replaced an expression of pure fear; in place of Tommy's blue eyes were black, shadowed over irises "I'll hurt you."_

_Jude gave a jerky shake of her head, reminding herself that this isn't the real Tommy, "You won't hurt me."_

_Tommy breathed out a menacing chuckle "No?" _

_Jude reached out to lightly drag her fingers along the length of Tommy's arm and took a brave step toward him, "I trust you."_

_Tommy's eyes shifted back to Jude with a threatening glare, "Don't."_

_Jude shook her head and grabbed his hand, lacing her fingers through his, "Stop it."_

_Tommy stared down at their joined hands before peering over the balcony's edge "Stupid girl." He muttered_

_In a flash of a second, the scene around them shifted; they were no longer on a balcony, but on the edge of a bridge that loomed over a motionless sea. It rocked slightly with the speed of the cars zooming behind them. Jude made no move at the change; she went on as if this had always been where their conversation was taking place. "I'm not the one being stupid." _

_Tommy's hand tightened around Jude's and his eyes landed on her once more, "Yes. You are." _

_Held under Tommy's glare, Jude's body began growing cold and their breathing came and went in puffs of frosted air despite the summer-like temperature. Any part of her that touched Tommy froze, like she'd buried her hand in a pile of snow. "Tommy…" She whispered, noticing the thoughtful look on his face as she stared down at the water_

"_Your choice." He told her_

_A panic instilled in her mind as she slowly realized what he was about to do. "Tommy, don't."_

"_Don't call me that." _

"_Tommy!" Jude screamed, trying to yank her frozen fingers from his grip "Stop!" _

"_You wanted this," Tommy reminded her in a whisper "We're going to be together forever." His feet inched closer to the edge until the toes of his shoes were completely suspended, "For better or worse. Sickness and in health." He flashed a smile that made Jude cringe with fear, "Until death…do us part."_

_Jude focused all her strength on prying herself away from Tommy, her screaming turning frantic, "What do you think you're doing? LET GO!"_

"_Or unless death has its way with us together."_

"_Stop it!" Jude cried_

"_Together forever and ever," Tommy breathed "Just like you wanted." He turned and took in Jude's pleading, terrified face, "Didn't I tell you to run?" His head shook back and forth slowly with disappointment, "Stupid girl." And With that, Tommy jumped._

Jude woke in a cold sweat, a muffled scream bubbling up in her throat. She put a hand to her pounding heart and sat up, finding herself on the couch, in the comfort of her living room. "Just a dream." She gasped.

The time glowed in green from the cable box, informing Jude it was just after 3am. The TV was displaying the main menu for a movie called Hide and Seek – something Tommy talked her into watching with him because of his love for horror movies, and his knowledge of her hate of horror movies. She turned the DVD player off, ceasing the eerie music coming from the surround –sound and casted a blue glow across the living room.

Jude laid her head back on the pillow on Tommy's lap and scrubbed her hands over her face. Scowling toward Tommy's sleeping face; she named that stupid movie the culprit for her nightmare. In the movie, a little girl struggled with the trauma of her father having multiple personalities, and that triggered a dream about another version of Tommy, or at least that's what she'll tell herself. There was no way to deny the similarities between that Tommy and the Tommy she lived with in New Brunswick; cold, demeaning, self-belittling…it was all there.

Shoving those hideous thoughts away, Jude stood and turned off the TV, leaving only the glow of the hall light to see by. "Tommy," Jude whispered groggily, lightly nudging his leg with her foot, "Let's go to bed, babe."

Tommy put up a minor resistance before getting up, "What time is it?" He groaned

"Three." Jude told him, leading the way to the bedroom

Tommy pulled his T-shirt over his head before plopping down on the mattress, "Did you see how that movie ended?"

Jude shook her head no and crawled under the blanket on the opposite side of the bed. Tommy soon enveloped her in his arms and was quickly back to sleep. Jude knew it must be the effect of the dream, but she felt…uncomfortable in Tommy's embrace. Images of her dream relentlessly haunted her mind, leaving her with no sleep for the rest of the night.

lllllllll

The next morning, Jude found herself presented with a brand new, freshly printed Gmajor contract. Darius happily handed it over with a wide, cocky grin. Her past weeks of stressing over this exact moment, paired with her lack of sleep had left her unwilling to fight and she immediately caved on giving Darius a bigger cut of her touring profits.

The contract went from Darius' hand to her lawyer's. Vinny looked it over and placed it on the table in front of Jude, "Looks good." He told her

Jude hesitantly poised an expensive ball point pen between her fingers and signed her name on the ominous dotted line.

"Welcome back to Gmajor." Darius grinned, disguising the fact that his lawyer nearly snatched the paper from Jude's reach the second she dotted the 'I' in Harrison.

"Happy to be back." Jude lied without bothering to attempt a smile

Ten minutes later Jude emerged from the conference room, finding Tommy waiting for her, "And the verdict is?"

Jude sighed overdramatically, "I can feel my free will just slipping away." She smiled

"That's great!" Tommy exclaimed and pulled her in for a hug, "All signed and done?"

"Unfortunately."

Tommy grinned, "Only a couple years and we'll be as far gone as you want to be."

Jude stepped out of his arms, flashing an almost believable giddy grin of her own, "Can't wait."

From behind them, Darius and his pack of wolves filed out, followed closely by Jude's lawyer, "It was a pleasure bargaining with you." Vinny said, shaking hands with Darius, "But next time, try to be less of a prick. Jude's a good kid." He grinned in response to Darius' dirty look and turned to tap his finger under Jude's chin, "Stay strong, champ – see you later, Tom; I'll be expecting a tip for my extraordinary services."

"You bet." Tommy promised with a laugh

Jude watched Vinny disappear out the front doors with an amused smirk before turning to Darius, "I heard you took the MTV offer." He said, handing Jude and Tommy each a sheet of paper, "So here's your schedule for tomorrow."

"Wait, tomorrow?" Jude asked, "They're not filming for another week."

Darius waved off her statement, "I rescheduled. I also booked you both for a joint photo shoot, you know; give the people a glimpse in the life of a rock star couple."

Jude shook her head, "I didn't agree to this."

"Nope." Darius shrugged, "But he did."

"I didn't-" Tommy started to say but was cut off by Darius, "I agreed for you." He shifted his attention back to Jude, "Since you both are signed to be equal parts of the same show, if you disagree to anything involving it, it would be taken as interference of business with my employee, which would mean a breach of contract on your part."

"What?" Jude demanded

Darius smirked, "In plain English – you're doing it whether you like it or not." He patted Jude's shoulder, "It's called a loop hole – look it up."

"You signed a no interference clause?" Tommy hissed

Jude threw her hands up, "I didn't know what that meant!"

"Maybe the great lawyer ain't so great after all, huh?" Darius strolled by with an arrogant smirk on his face, "Nice to have you back, Jude."

Tommy sighed, "What were you saying about free will?"

"Down the toilet it goes."


	7. Chapter 7

If you asked Jude on whether or not 6am was an appropriate time to, not only wake her up, but also shoving a camera in her face, she'd come up with something colorful say paired with a hand gesture or two to whoever dare ask.

If you asked the MTV camera crew, however, they'd think it absolutely necessary.

Jude and Tommy came to realize this simultaneously while waking to someone pounding on the door in the too-early hours of the morning. During the night, they managed to gravitate to separate sides of the bed, so their groaned argument traveled from one corner to the other. Jude grumbled in response to Tommy's "Get the door." And threw the blanket over her head. "You get it." She muttered

"This whole thing was your idea." Tommy argued "You get up and let them in."

"It may have been my idea, but you said yes, so it's your fault they're here."

Tommy scowled over his shoulder, "Have you ever said no to yourself? It's impossible."

"Sure I do." Jude's yawn could be heard from under the blanket, "Myself is begging to get out of bed, but I'm telling me no. "

Tommy groaned. Too tired to further the argument, he caved and pushed up from the mattress, stopping to throw a pillow at Jude on his way out. His socks slipped against the wood floors as he navigated through their dark apartment, eventually stumbling to the door. "What's up, guys?" He muttered to the men waiting on the other side, cameras and microphones in hand, "Come on in." Turning away from the light glaring from the camera, Tommy scrubbed his eyes with his palms and led them back to the bedroom.

"Nice place you got here." A sound man complimented, taking in the spacious bedroom

The other three men nodded, seeming to agree. "Where's the lovely lady?"

Tommy opened the blinds, revealing a cloudless early morning sky and switched on the lamp by Jude's unmoving body. "She's somewhere in…all that." He gestured to the mess of pillows and blankets covering the normally tidy mattress, "Juuuuude." He called, edging toward the bathroom, "Your cameras are here."

There was a long pause before the blanket moved, a hand emerging out grab a pillow, followed by an unintelligible grumble. A sound man busied himself with fishing a mic out from his bag and handed one to Tommy, "I'm George," He told Tommy, "I'll be tailing you all day, and this," he motion to the sound man on his left "Is Noah - he's tailing Jude."

"Hey." Tommy smiled politely and shook hands with the men. The camera guys lowered their equipment to shake hands with him also; introducing themselves as Owen and Isaac.

Hooking the mic pack to the waist of his boxers, Tommy wired the upper half through his shirt and attached it to the collar. Noah handed over Jude's mic and Tommy started work on digging her out of bed. "C'mon, babe." He climbed over her and pulled the cover from her face, "Rise and shine."

Feeling Tommy's lips on her neck, Jude smiled against her pillow, nearly forgetting the room full of cameras, "Hi."

Tommy returned the gesture and gently kissed her lips, "Hi. We have to leave in an hour."

Jude turned to her back with a yawn, looking up at Tommy with a sleepily begging expression, "Will you make me pancakes?"

Tommy clipped Jude's mic to the shoulder of her tank top and switched on the pack, a quiet groan rumbling in his throat, "I don't feel like cooking."

Jude stuck out her lower lip in a pout that made Tommy chuckle, "Please?"

Tommy shook his head with a firm "No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?"

"Ugly no."

Jude clicked her tongue, "Please, Tommy?"

"No."

"Regular pancakes with syrup."

"Fine."

Jude grinned and pulled the blankets off her body while Tommy got off the bed and left the room. Jude soon became acquainted with her half of the film crew; their kind demeanor made it really hard to hate them for waking her up so early, but Jude managed a slight scowl anyway. By request, she showed the crew around her and Tommy's room, starting with the walk-in closet. "It's a bit of a mess right now," She warned, "We're still in the process of consolidating, so clothes are just…everywhere. But this is all the clothes we own, so that makes me feel a better – we're not one of those couples who have whole rooms set aside just for clothes." She gestured toward her and Tommy's guitars taking up the far wall of the closet, "There's not even enough to fill the closet."

"Shoes?" Owen asked

Jude crouched down and unzipped one of the four large suitcases on the floor, revealing a messy cluster of shoes of every kind and color, "I think there's thirty pairs in here," As she spoke, she dug out a pair of tan UGG boots, "Tommy's shoes are in that suitcase – he doesn't have nearly as much as I do."

llllll

After taking fifteen minutes for a shower, and twenty for her hair, Jude finally made an appearance in the kitchen, finding Tommy working over the stove, discussing his pancake recipe with Isaac. She yawned and stashed one hand in the pocket of her hoodie while the other rubbed her eye, "Get your censors ready, my brain-to-mouth filter is noooot working this morning." She smiled at Tommy's chuckle sounding behind her. "It's your fault," She accused, "You're the one who taught me how to curse."

"It's not my fault you're so susceptible."

Jude ducked into the fridge, gathering creamer for her coffee "Big word," She commented "Did you hurt yourself?"

"Ha-ha." Tommy muttered

Jude retrieved two mugs from the cupboard over the sink; filling one to the rim, and the other half way, "You used it in the wrong context." She told him

"I did not." Tommy immediately disagreed, stacking fresh pancakes onto a plate

Jude brought the steaming mugs to the table and turned for the door, "Yes you did." Cracking the door, she peered out, gaging the size of the media crowd. She gestured for the camera man and had him get a shot of the paparazzi lingering around the stoop, "Crazy, huh?" She snagged up the paper with a surprised smile, "Hey we actually got the paper!"

"It's a miracle." Tommy said, "One piece?"

"Yup." Jude settled at the table and freed the morning paper from its plastic confines, doing her best to ignore the camera only feet from her face, "It's strange if we ever get the paper," She explained in response to the questioning expression of her sound guy, "With the paparazzi circus out front twenty four-seven, it never seems to make it to the door."

"Jude, I did use that word right – look it up."

Jude smirked, "Fine, I will." She warned, taking her phone from her back pocket, "But I'm right about this one – it was on my SATs."

"Five bucks says you're wrong." Tommy wagered and set a plate in front of Jude

"Deal." Jude looked down at her plate, then up at Tommy with a knitted brow and a frown, "Did ask for pancakes, because I really meant-"

Before Jude opened her mouth, Tommy had already removed her plate and replaced it with one stacked with waffles, "Already had them ready."

Jude grinned and offered a sincere, "Thank you."

Tommy sat at the opposing end of their small round table, feeling awkward with the extra people lingering around. Jude laid her phone flat on the table as she scrolled through the page on her touch-screen, "The internet on this thing is so cool," She said quietly, "You were right about this phone – it's awesome."

"Told you so. But we need to distinguish the two, I keep picking up yours."

"I would, but I can't find a cover I like – why don't you get one?"

"Phone covers are a girl thing."

Jude rolled her eyes, "Whatever." She picked up her phone and began reading the small text, off a dictionary website, "Susceptible: capable of being affected emotionally; impressionable….I guess that's right, than. But barely."

Tommy smiled, "Barely enough for five bucks."

"Dammit."

lllllllll

Having showered the night before in anticipation of running late, Tommy went straight from breakfast to the bedroom to get changed. The camera right on her heels, Jude busied herself with clearing the table and tidying up around the apartment. Despite Tommy's playful jabs about her laziness, since moving in with him, Jude's made cleaning up part of her morning routine, temporarily silencing his quips.

Camera right on her heels, Jude dumped a load of dirty clothes into the washing machine, finding the overhead light had burned out while doing so, "Tommy," She called from the laundry room, "The light bulb's out again."

"I'll change it in a minute!" Tommy called back from the bathroom where he was delicately arranging his hair in his signature coif.

Jude sighed with irritation, "Can you do it now? I'm trying to get the laundry going."

"Now? We're about to leave."

Jude made her way down the hall and into the bedroom, briefly pausing to watch the crew arrange themselves to keep out of each other's camera shots, and stopping in the bathroom doorway, "I'm stopping back here anyway - I'll put the stuff in the dryer then."

"When are you going to have time to come back here?"

"After I meet with Darius, there's a two hour gap before the photo-shoot."

Tommy shot a questioning glance over his shoulder, "Why don't you just meet with Darius when you go in for our studio time?"

Another irritated sigh heaved from Jude's lips, quickly becoming annoyed with the conversation in her cranky state, "I don't know, Tommy. That's just how Darius scheduled it."

"Doesn't make any sense." Tommy muttered

Jude rolled her eyes and ventured back toward the dark laundry room. Gathering a light bulb from the hallway closet, she climbed up on a chair from the dining room to reach the light fixture. "Is that switch off?" She asked Owen, nudging her chin toward the switch mounted to the wall just outside the door.

The light steaming from Owen's camera shifted from Jude to the wall, and back to Jude again, "Yeah." He said

"What the hell is she doing?" Tommy hissed to himself, hearing the ruckus of Jude moving the chair around and felt his own irritation rising. The sound of a light bulb shattering against the floor had him going to check on her, "What'd you do?"

Jude flipped on the switch and began picking up scraps from the old bulb, managing to cut her thumb in the process, "Dropped the stupid light bulb."

Tommy sighed and handed her a small towel from the clean laundry pile, "I told you I was going to do it."

Jude dabbed the cloth to the slight cut in her skin, "Yeah, well, I wanted it done right away – Heaven forbid you could take one minute away from your coif to change a damn light bulb."

"Heaven forbid you could wait ten seconds."

"Ten seconds." Jude scoffed

Tommy rubbed at the ache growing in his temple, "I'll clean this up, go find a band aid or something."

The crew men watched in baffled amusement as the couple bickered back and forth; even though they seemed to be fighting, it came off almost jokingly, like they were teasing one another rather than actually arguing. Eventually their bickering shifted from the light bulb to there being no toothpaste, and that started a lengthy quarrel over whose responsibility it was to do the shopping.

Around fifteen minutes later, running late and irritated, Tommy found himself waiting by the door for Jude. "Jude, C'mon!" He called down the hall. Another three minutes ticked by before he decided he'd have to get her himself.

Again, with Jude and Tommy in the same room, the crew strategically arranged themselves around their conversation. Jude emerged from the closet in a different outfit, causing Tommy to shake his head, "The one time I tell you the actual time we need to be somewhere, and you make us late."

"Well maybe," Jude countered "If you would stop giving me the wrong time I wouldn't assume we're on time when we aren't."

"Well maybe if you could stick to a schedule…" Tommy hedged with an aggravated tilt of his head

It fell quiet as Jude quickly ducked into the bathroom to reapply her mascara. Frowning at Tommy in the mirror, she murmured a quiet, "We're bickering more than usual this morning." She turned and pecked him on the lips, "Truce?"

Tommy offered a somewhat tight smile, "Truce." He wound his arm around her waist and led her out of the bedroom. "Okay, so, you are going to be at the photo shoot an hour before me, right?" He asked

Jude nodded, "Yup. And then we have a solid six hour block in the studio. " She shrugged on her jacket and zipped it up to the neck, "Wow…do you realize it's been almost a year since we've been in studio together?"

"No," Tommy responded doubtfully, "It hasn't been that long, has it?"

"Yeah," Jude counted off the months on her fingers as she calculated, "One month while you were away, than I was with you for two months, I came back - to finish off the album," She added quickly, noting the camera on her left, "For about a month, then I toured for three – that's almost eight months."

"That's insane." Tommy muttered with an incredulous shake of his head

"I know." Jude pursed her lips quietly in thought, "Think it'll be peaceful?"

"Probably not."

Jude shrugged, "Oh well, it was nice while it lasted."

"We had a good run." Tommy agreed

Jude grinned and slipped on her sunglasses, "Ready?"

Tommy took a slow breath before flashing a fake grin of his own and opening the door to paparazzi hell. The smiles remained plastered on their faces as Tommy protectively guided Jude to her car and kissed her goodbye. With Jude and her half of the film crew safely locked in, Tommy worked his way more forcefully through the flashing cameras to get to his own car.

llllll

"I don't know how he does it," Jude murmured quietly, keeping an eye on Tommy in her review mirror and waiting until he was also safe in his car before heading down the street. "He's so strong through all this."

Owen adjusted the camera on his shoulder and made a finger motion that indicated Jude should elaborate

"You've seen the magazines," She continued "Those rumors are ruining his whole reputation and all he can focus on is making sure I'm safe…he's stronger than I am." She sighed

"How are you handling it?"

"The best I can," Jude gave a tight smile, laced with underline sadness, "But I couldn't handle it at all without him."

lllll

"Vultures." Tommy spat, glaring at a photographer through the windshield of his Porsche; the one Jude pointed out to be the newspaper thief "I always thought buying your own island was ridiculous, but now I'm thinking Johnny Depp had the right idea."

Isaac chuckled, "I don't know how you do it – I've followed celebrities who freak over anything, but you and Jude seem pretty stable."

"That's mostly Jude's doing."

"What makes you say that?" George asked

"Jude's just…amazing." Tommy shrugged with a smile hinting at his lips, "She's so strong and going through a lot but somehow manages to keep it all together…She keeps me together – I couldn't do this without her."


	8. Chapter 8

Jude and Tommy arrived at Gmajor ten minutes apart, Tommy first. He smirked and informed the crew Jude had made herself even later because she stopped for coffee – even though she had two cups before leaving the apartment. "She'll come strolling through the door with a white chocolate mocha Frappuccino – I guarantee it."

Tommy's assumption was proven right moments later when he spotted Jude at the receptionist's desk with a large half-full cup held between her hands; the Starbucks logo outward toward the camera. He watched the interaction between Jude and the receptionist warily. They seemed to be having a spat of some sort and Jude was quickly becoming agitated. Tommy pulled himself away from the soundboard in studio A to investigate and came in on the receptionist saying "I won't be bothering Darius with the likes of you."

"What's going on here?" Tommy asked

The receptionist tossed her brunette pony tail over her shoulder, a giddy smile coming across her face at the sight of Tommy, "Hi Tommy!" She chimed enthusiastically "What brings you over here?"

Tommy ignored her and focused his questioning gaze on Jude, who was busy glaring at the woman, "Don't flatter yourself, hon. He's here to talk to me." She shifted her attention to Tommy and sighed, "Apparently Trista"

"-Trisha"

"Doesn't think I'm important enough to bother Darius for and doesn't think I have an appointment."

"An appointment you're late for." Trisha pointed out in a low mutter

Tommy glanced between the two women, immediately able to sense the tension between them, he quickly rectified the situation in Jude's favor, "You haven't met my fiancé, Jude?"

"Oh, you know her?" An envious glint came to her eye as she grumbled a quiet, "Sorry" before picking up the phone and dialing into Darius' office

Jude took a deep breath through her nose and turned her back on the woman; she'll delay the fight until there weren't so many witnesses.

"White chocolate?" Tommy asked, gesturing to the cup in her hand

Jude smiled a little, "Yeah. Why?"

Tommy shrugged, "Nothing."

"Mr. Mills will see you now." Trisha informed Jude and stood from her desk, her eyes shifting to Tommy as she slid on her coat, "Do you want me to pick up your regular while I'm out?"

"Your regular?" Jude asked

"Uh, No thanks, Trish."

Jude discarded the remains of her drink in a garbage can and crossed her arms, "I thought you were joking about the receptionist." She hissed to Tommy as they headed toward Darius' office "Did you see the way she looked at you - And the way she pretended she doesn't who I am? Makes me wanna scratch her eyes out."

Tommy choked out a surprised laugh and slung his arm around her neck, "Put those claws away, tiger!"

"No." Jude grumbled, "And what does she know about your regular? Has she been doing coffee runs for you?"

"Well, yeah," Tommy admitted hesitantly "It's her job."

Reminding herself she's being recorded, Jude muttered a vague, "Whatever." Instead of the retort she had ready, then added, "If anyone'll be getting you anything it'll be me, kay?"

Tommy smiled softly at the underline jealousy hidden in Jude's eyes and nodded in agreement, "Fine. Can you get me a latte when you're done with Darius?"

"No."

"Now you're just being unreasonable."

Jude playfully nudged his ribs with her elbow, "That's what you get for referring to Trish as sexy."

Tommy stopped at the closed door of D's office and grinned mischievously, "And getting sexier by the day. Good thing I have you here to fight her off, huh?"

The playful expression on Jude's face faded immediately and was closely followed by a glare, "Go away."

Tommy smiled, "Come see me before you leave."

Jude turned away from him and shoved open the large wooden door, mumbling an angry "Don't count on it." Over her shoulder.

"Oops," Tommy sighed toward the camera, "Went too far with that one."

llllllllllllllll

Jude's meeting lasted the entire half hour it was scheduled for. It seemed like a big waste of time to her, all Darius did was fill her in – again – about what's expected of her, and what needed to get done in the immediate future. This included picking a single off her album to make a music video out of; he begrudgingly left the decision completely up to her, along with who she wanted to hire to make the video. "Just leave the bill on my desk" He'd said.

Nearing the end of the meeting, Jude was feeling pretty good about the whole thing. A subtle sense of freedom crept through her otherwise displeased attitude and brought a confident smile to her lips as Darius laid out her options. Her options – meaning Darius wasn't allowed to choose for her, and whatever she chose would be catered to accordingly. Her better mood remained until Darius began handing out further instruction on the things her and Tommy had to do for the show; then, suddenly, the sense of freedom was ripped away. Darius pointed out more than once that her schedule was subject to change at any time he or the big wigs at MTV pleased; apparently, they were uncertain of the light they wanted her and Tommy portrayed in. The only thing that is certain is the massive photo shoot taking up a good majority of the afternoon. Jude and Tommy'll be two of the many new faces of Lyric Clothing, according to Darius. This was all news to Jude, however.

With the meeting finally behind her, Jude stiffly shook Darius' hand and tried to keep her anger with him away from off her face.

"I assume you'll be editing around that." Jude said to Owen on her way out of Darius' office. Owen nodded. "So much for reality." She stopped off at hospitality for a water before going to see Tommy.

"Hey, Milo." Jude greeted politely as she entered the studio and tapped Tommy's shoulder, bringing him out of the mix he's working on, "Hey babe."

Tommy slid the headphones down to his neck and offered a quick smile, "Hey. How'd it go?"

Jude shrugged, "Fine."

"You're coming back to Gmajor?" Milo asked

"Yep."

"Awesome." Milo gave a flirty grin and adjusted his posture "Maybe we could collaborate sometime. I'd love to work with you."

Before Jude could answer, Tommy turned his head to glare at him, "Get in the studio, I need you to do that chorus again."

"I just did it." Milo argued

Tommy's glare deepened and his tone dropped to demanding seethe, "Well do it. Again."

Milo returned the dirty look but did as he was told. He gave Jude a wide smile from the other side of the glass and began playing his guitar. Tommy turned off the feed and swirled his chair away from him. "Nerve of that guy." He muttered

Jude smirked, "Down, boy."

Tommy released a deep breath of frustration toward Milo, "You will not believe what a big pain he is to work with."

"Bet he even makes me look like a prize to work with."

Tommy smiled up at her, reaching out to take her hand, "You're always first in my book, babe."

Prior irritation with Tommy surfaced and settled on Jude's face as she rekindled thoughts of harming the receptionist, "Funny, I thought I'd be second to Trish."

Tommy's head tilted lightly with an apologetic frown on his face, "Sorry, babe. I went too far when I said what I did."

"Yeah." Jude muttered

Tommy stood and gently grasped Jude's chin, "I didn't mean anything by it."

"It's okay." Jude said after a brief pause, and with a slight confusion, she realized it really was. Her mood shifted from irritated to perfectly fine in a matter of seconds. She let it go with an easy up turn of her lips, "Darius says I get to pick the next single off my album – any suggestions?"

"Hm…" Tommy thought, "I don't know."

"We'll have to figure it out later – oh, and I have full control on who does the video! Isn't that awesome?"

Tommy's eyebrows rose in surprise, "Wow – quite the rein you got there."

"I know." Jude beamed

Tommy picked up on Jude's infectious cheery attitude, honestly becoming a little confused himself. Jude hasn't been this quick with mood switches in a long time. Her contagious smile had him smiling in return, "Alright, well, let me finish up here and I'll see you in a couple hours."

Jude nodded and gave him a quick kiss goodbye before sauntering out of the room.

llllllllllllllllll

Jude took her time getting home; stopping for fast food and groceries on the way and chatting with any fan that happened to come her way. She took pride in not being the cliché celebrity. There was no objection at all for spending time with the ones who loved her and her music, and her fans always appreciate it.

The last one she talked to was a six-year-old girl who wanted to marry Tommy when she grew up – just like Jude. Jude jokingly encouraged the idea, saying that if Tommy's hair turns white before the little girl was old enough to marry, than she could have him. She giggled with glee at the prospect and made Jude pinky promise on it.

"Safest bet I ever made," Jude laughed to the camera lens as she drove out of the grocery store parking lot, "Knowing Tommy, he'll go to his grave moussed and dyed."

"If he even has hair." Noah said

Jude snickered with a light grimace, "Don't say that to Tommy – he'll be anxiety ridden for weeks."

"How about the idea of marrying someone nearly twenty years younger?"

Jude waved off the question, "Oh, he won't mind; without his hair, he won't be able to get anyone else." She joked with a playful crinkle of her nose, quickly charming the two men watching.

llllll

Even with the two hour gap between Gmajor and the photo shoot, Jude managed to arrive almost twenty minutes late, much to the displeasure of the client. She offered her best apologies and got right to work – well, the hair and makeup team got to work while Jude took advantage of her favorite activity; sitting and doing nothing.

When it got to actually getting dressed, Jude opted for the most comfortable outfit and stepped in front of the camera.

The photographer, Rick, was on the nicer side of photographers she's worked with. He created a fun, but calm atmosphere and was very patient with Jude's lack of modeling experience. "Here," Rick set down his camera and joined Jude on set, "Put this leg here," He gently grasped Jude's ankle and hooked the high heel of her black zip-up bootie on one of the bricks jutting out from the faux brick wall behind her, "And tilt your head back."

Jude followed instruction and held still while Rick captured the shot. She stuffed her hands into the pockets of her pin-striped black shorts and shifted her shoulders toward camera; a move she saw on America's Next Top Model.

"Beautiful!" Rick complimented enthusiastically "Let's have a smile!" He called

Jude rubbed her glossy red lips together before stretching them into the most believable smile she could conjure up.

Minutes later, Jude watched the fake brick wall being rolled away and replaced with a set centered on a window seat…the workings of photo shoots might always fascinate her.

For the new set, she was changed into a look less grungy than the last. Now sporting a short baby-doll style dress with a sweet heart neckline and a pair of red wedge heeled shoes, she settled on the cushioned bench and looked out the fake window.

"Cross your legs for me, doll." Rick instructed "And I need a softer expression in the face."

Jude turned sideways and stretched her crossed legs out in front of her, laying her hands gracefully in her lap. Rick swarmed around her, taking the same shot from different angles before directing her further. Less than a minute later, caught sight of an approaching figure, coming up just behind Rick. Once she realized who it was, a soft, loving smile softened her features, relieved that Tommy was finally here. Tommy returned the gesture, making Jude advert her eyes to her lap, the smile still remaining.

"Beautiful" Rick said, "Now, where was this face ten minutes ago?" He grinned, then realized the man standing behind him, "Oh," He realized "Guess that explains it."

Even though it seemed unnecessary, Tommy introduced himself and shook hands with Rick and the creative director before making his way to Jude, "You look stunning." Was the first thing he said.

"Thanks." Jude adjusted the messy fish-tail braid draped over her shoulder and stood "You have them to thank for that," she gestured toward the women standing near makeup table, "And these," Trying to be casual about it, she motioned to her breasts, "I've been stuffed." She whispered

Tommy furrowed his brow in question, "Really? Why?"

Jude shrugged, "I didn't suit their standards, apparently." She sighed, the force of it ruffled the bangs sprawled across her forehead "Within minutes of being here, I was plucked, stuffed and put on display."

"All you need now is a prominent place on the dinner table."

"Hardy-har."

Jude and Tommy were led to different areas of the set; Jude to wardrobe and Tommy to hair and makeup. The pair took turns behind the camera, trying out different looks, all suited for the upcoming seasons. The MTV crew kept a comfortable distance throughout the duration of the shoot, and even had the cameras off completely for a while.

Tommy relaxed a lot more freely without the hovering cameras and was able to enjoy himself a little; it's been a long time since he did a photo shoot, and doing one with Jude made it twice the fun. "Not like you need a bigger ego or anything, but you look _really good_, babe." Jude called from the computer where all the images were being wirelessly transferred from Rick's camera

Tommy gave her a cocky, lopsided grin, "What else is new?"

Jude rolled her eyes and took Tommy's place on set while he went back for another wardrobe change. The gimmicks seemed to have run out because all Jude was posing in front of now was a white back drop – which was completely fine by her. Much less awkward.

Another outfit change and Jude and Tommy finally got to pose together. Jude positioned slightly in front of Tommy, she hung her thumbs on the front pockets of the low-rise light blue jeans and cocked her hip slightly.

"Smile!" Rick insisted "Look like you love each other."

"I thought this was a photo shoot, not an acting challenge." Jude snarked

"Oh yeah?" Tommy sounded from behind her as his arms suddenly wound around her waist, pulling her up against him, "You think loving you is a walk in the park?"

Jude giggled, trying to squirm from his grip, "Uh, yeah!" She answered

Tommy laughed, "Think again, Harrison."

Every eye in the immediate area had abruptly been drawn to their bantering the second it started, and watched as it continued on. The light-hearted, teasing nature of it had them endlessly intrigued for more and smiling right along with the quietly laughing couple.

Tommy whispered in Jude's ear, eliciting a soft chuckle before she leaned her head back to whisper something in return. Rick captured their exchange in still shots, while the MTV crew got it all on video, but Jude and Tommy seemed oblivious to their invasion as they continued their conversation.

Soon, they were broken up to change and rejoined for the final set of the day; Jude in a pair of shorts short enough to qualify for denim underwear and a spaghetti strap top, and Tommy in ripped jeans and a t-shirt with the company's logo on the front. "Tommy, mind sitting down for me? And Jude, in his lap."

Tommy took a seat on the floor and patted his leg, smiling up at Jude, "You heard the man."

"If I must." Jude sighed and fell into the warm lock of Tommy's arms.

"This is for the cover," Rick began explaining, "We're all about comfort and fashion, so try to relax – Jude lay your head on Tommy's chest." Jude complied more than willingly and allowed her body to relax and curl up against Tommy's.

Rick kneeled a couple feet to the right of Tommy, getting an up close shot. He gently moved Jude's face closer to camera and requested Tommy lay his chin on Jude's head. His arms instinctively tightened around Jude in a loving embrace, a smile gracing his lips.

llllllll

"I've never been so happy to be back in my own clothes." Jude sighed happily, zipping up her leather jacket

"Tell me about it," Tommy responded "I finally remember why I avoided these things for so many years."

Jude smiled and crouched to pull on her UGG boots, "It was a lot of fun, though." She handed him a slip of paper, "And check out the check."

Tommy read the numbers printed in bold along the bottom of the check and cocked an eyebrow, "Damn. Where's mine?"

"In my bag."

Tommy handed her back the check and shrugged on his black hoodie, "Same amount?"

"Nope," Jude grumbled, "Yours is more – your services are more expensive than mine, apparently."

"Really?" Tommy grinned, "Cool." He laced his fingers through Jude's and led the way toward the exit "Ready to get back to the studio?"

The thought brought a content sigh to Jude's lips, "Yes. Finally."


	9. Chapter 9

Three and a half hours into their studio time, and everything was going just as it would any other day. Seamlessly, they feel back into old patterns, like no time had passed at all since the last time they worked a song. Upon entering Gmajor, Jude immediately claimed she wasn't in the song writing mood and offered an alternative: Recording an older song that never made it to her last album.

Unsure of whether it would be a welcomed idea, Jude hinted until she had to tell Tommy directly which song she was talking about – Love to Burn. At first Tommy was a little resistant, but otherwise seemed accepting. Jude gave no explanation for wanting to record it, and Tommy didn't ask for one; both very aware of the cameras peering over their shoulders. "Tommy wrote it for me," Jude had said in response to some light probing from the crew, "I was so disappointed it didn't make it to the last album – I really love it." She'd smiled at him in a way that indicated that was one of the reasons she wanted it recorded.

Now, as Jude and Tommy bickered about the lyrics in the first verse, the camera men decided to retire from their break early to catch the conversation.

"Are you sure that's what the first line is?" Jude demanded

Tommy breathed in a deep breath and let it out in a frustrated gust, "Yes, Jude – I wrote it."

"Okay, Mr. Writer, why don't you refresh me on what the bridge is?"

Another deep breath filled the air between them and Tommy's fingers raddled lightly on the sound board, "Why don't you," He countered, "You performed it."

"But you wrote it!" Jude took note of the frustrated set to Tommy's lips and shot an amused smile toward the camera closest to her.

Noticing this, Tommy rolled his eyes and yanked his feet from her chair, "I knew it." He muttered, and just like that, the argument was over. "Stop messing around."

Jude grinned and heaved a dramatic sigh, "Fine." She adjusted her posture and focused on the notebook in her lap, "Alright – we're decided on everything but the bridge, right?"

"Yea." Tommy hit the playback and Jude's voice, paired with the piano track Tommy previously recorded filled the booth. Jude's voice came to a stop, about a minute in, followed by a laugh and "I forgot the rest."

"We'll need to fix that." Jude murmured quietly; stating the obvious just to annoy Tommy.

Tommy spared a glance in her direction and rewound the playback, "Why don't you give recording another try? Maybe it'll come to you."

Jude yawned as she stood, and dabbed at the eyeliner threatening to smear from the corner of her eye. The photo shoot had left her with perfect hair and makeup; her clothes, however, were back to her favorite Nirvana T-shirt, ripped jeans and UGG boots. This was something Sadie just had to comment on upon Jude entering Gmajor, and something Tommy told her to ignore. After months of touring and being told she wasn't good enough in so many different ways, Tommy's reassurance silenced those voices completely. As long as she was perfect in his eyes, nothing else mattered.

"Take one." Tommy's voice came through the intercom and into her headphones, followed closely by the piano intro.

Tommy smirked toward the camera, "Watch this." His fingers twisted around a knob, and the more he did this, the more the aggravation grew on Jude's face. At first the scene didn't make sense, but when Jude broke melody to yell, "You're doing that just to bug me!" they understood; Tommy was dinking with the playback somehow.

Tommy grinned mischievously, "I'm sorry, did you want that all one volume?"

Jude glared, "Yes. Tommy."

Before Tommy could respond, Darius knocked on the studio door and motioned for Jude to come out. She jabbed a finger at Tommy, hanging her headphones, "This isn't over."

"Shaking in my boots, doll." Tommy replied sarcastically before Jude left

Jude's half of the crew rushed to catch up with her and Darius, only for Darius to shoo them away; claiming this was a camera-free meeting. They complied immediately. "Wow," Jude exclaimed in awe, staring after the retreating camera "I should've tried that hours ago."

Darius smirked at her over his shoulder, opening the door to his office, "Boss' orders – it won't work for you."

"Damn." Jude stopped short at Sadie's perched form resting on the edge of Darius' desk, "What are you doing in here?"

Sadie shrugged, "Finalizing some Instant Star stuff."

Jude grimaced lightly at the thought of all the things Sadie and Darius could be doing in here and quickly shoved the thought away. "What's up?"

"As you know," Darius started "The Instant Star Finale is only a couple weeks away, and was wondering if you'd want to perform."

A feeling of power and freedom filled Jude as she delivered a cocky, "No."

Darius shrugged, seeming unbothered at all by her answer, "Alright."

Jude glanced between Sadie and Darius, "That all?"

"No," Sadie said, and handed Jude a slim stack of papers "Those are the semifinalists."

Jude flipped through the pictures with minimal interest, honestly expecting something a little more…exotic; you'd think there'd be better results from a worldwide competition – these four all looked like generic pop acts. She rolled her eyes, "What's this have to do with me?"

"We're getting all the past winners together," Darius began saying, a strange look coming to his eye – one of arrogance – that Jude didn't understand "You all will team up with an Instant Star finalist and help them write and preform their final performance piece. Jude, you'll be with Brendon."

Suspicion began its accent up Jude's spine as she fixed her gaze on the picture of the one she assumed to be Brendon. His dark, shaggy hair lay messily across his forehead and sprouted out in odd angles around his face, disguising his guarded blue eyes. "Emo?" She guessed

"Hip hop." Sadie corrected

Jude cocked an eyebrow, "Really?" She took another look at his picture "He doesn't look like he can rap."

"He can – and he does it well."

Jude handed the pictures back to Sadie and crossed her legs, "I don't think I'll have time for this, D."

Darius leaned forward, placing his folded hands on the desk with a very serious expression, "It'll only take a few days."

"But still," Jude argued "It's a lot of work."

"I don't see how – you won't be scheduled for any studio time, leaving your schedule wide open."

"It'll be really good for the show," Sadie told her "We wanted to try this last season, but you were…unavailable."

Jude glared up at her sister, "Don't you have papers to file or something?"

"No – my job is publicity, and you are hindering that."

"How?" Jude asked

"You're what hot right now," Sadie explained, "And working with Brendon will get him major attention."

"Oh," Jude nodded with a disgusted realization, "He's the one rigged to win."

"Maybe." Darius smiled "But with your name next to his, it'll be for sure."

"Too bad." Jude shrugged, "I don't want to." She spoke the words clearly and slowly with a triumphant grin.

Darius cleared his throat and briefly shared a look with Sadie before sitting up right with a triumphant smile of his own, "You either do this or perform a song of my choosing in the finale."

Jude shook her head, "Nope - Doesn't work like that anymore, D – I have final decision on live performances."

Darius nodded and dug a paper out from the bottom of the stack on his desk, "That's right, you do have final decision, and I'm letting you decide."

Jude's eyebrows knitted with confusion, "Than I decide not to."

Darius' expression shifted to a wide, condescending smile, "That's not an option." Before Jude could argue, Darius held up a hand, "Let me finish. You're contract," He placed the paper in front of her, "States that you get to choose what you want, but allows me to provide the choices."

A look of utter confusion took over her face as she snatched her contract off his desk, "No it doesn't!"

"Not specifically, but it doesn't prohibit it either."

For the second time today Jude's feeling of triumphant freedom was ripped out from under her unsuspecting feet, "No," She breathed out incredulously, "C'mon, D! That's not fair!"

Darius grinned, "According to the loop hole it is." He reached over his desk to retrieve the pictures from Sadie and placed Brendon's face up in front of Jude, "Which will it be?"

Jude gritted her teeth with enough pressure to make her jaw sore, "I'll do the stupid duet." She seethed through her teeth

"Great." Darius' mood went from conniving to friendly in no time flat, "So you'll be meeting with Brendon on Monday, and you two will start from there."

"Fine." Jude spat

"Gotta thank my girl for finding that for me." Darius said, his fingers reaching out to brush against Sadie's back.

"What?" Jude demanded, "YOU came up with this whole thing?"

"Uhh…" Sadie paused to shoot daggers at Darius before flashing a guilty smile, "It'll be really good for your career."

"Mine or yours?" Jude shoved up from the chair, and was turning to leave when Darius' voice stopped her, "Jude, one more thing."

Jude's hands balled around the hem of her t-shirt as she half turned back to him, raising her eyebrows expectantly.

"I'm cutting your studio time with Tommy in an hour."

Jude's hands balled into impossibly tighter fists as she whispered a demanding, "Why?"

"MTV wants to see a more domesticated side of your and Tommy's relationship, so you're making him dinner tonight. From what Sadie's told me," Darius chuckled quietly, "You'll need all the time you can get."

"But I can't cook."

Sadie looked up from her lap, offering a friendly smile, "I can help if you want."

Without another word, Jude turned and stormed from Darius' office and right into the empty Studio B to let out a frustrated screech.

With deep breaths gusting from her mouth, Jude turned and braced her palms against the soundboard, her expressionless gaze focused on her own face reflecting off the glass separating her from the dark studio. Even though she strongly felt her frustration was completely justified, she couldn't help but also feel like she might be overreacting a little. The anger pulsed through her veins hard and fast as she fought to calm her breathing; the feeling was awfully similar to the one she had earlier when dealing with the receptionist. In retrospect, she was beginning to feel she handled that a bit irrationally as well.

Jude began to sense this could be more than just her melodramatic tendencies…last time she felt this out of control with her emotions was about six months ago…in New Brunswick…when she was pregnant. When the thought hit her, her eyes popped open wide and brought a quiet gasp to her lips. "Holy shit." She breathed out with a smile "No way." It was certainly a possibility – her and Tommy stopped using protection weeks ago – and what else could explain her recent mood swings?

The smile remained on Jude's face as she rushed out of Studio B and down the hall to Studio A, where she was immediately put under the stare of two cameras. Trying to be casual about it, she calmed her grin and tapped Tommy's shoulder, "Can you come with me for a second?" She murmured quietly

"Jude," Noah hushed from behind the camera, "Your mic – turn it on."

Tommy turned his chair to face her, "What's wrong?"

"Come on." Jude said, trying to convey the urgency through her eyes

Tommy glanced back at the crew and stood, "Everything alright?"

"Yeah," Jude rushed and began leading the way out of the room, stopping to stab a finger toward the crew, "Stay." She commanded.

Once safely in the sound proof studio of studio B, Jude dug Tommy's mic out from under his shirt and switched it off. "Jude," Tommy said, trying to squirm out of her grip, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Jude's excited grin returned as she clasped her hands together, "I think I'm pregnant." She blurted out

Tommy stopped mid breath, unsure if he heard her correctly, "What?"

Reading the surprise on Tommy's face, Jude breathed out a quiet, "Yeah." She nodded, "It's definitely a possibility."

Tommy lips turned up in a lopsided grin of his own, "Really? How do you know – are you late?"

"Well, no – but my period's been off since I stopped taking the birth control…I just – I haven't felt this was since the last time I was pregnant."

Tommy immediately dodged the thought of her previous pregnancy, and kept his sudden excitement in place.

"I don't want to get too excited in case I'm wrong, but if I'm right-"

"We're gonna have a baby!" Tommy exclaimed and wrapped his arms around her in a tight, loving embrace.

Jude pulled back and pressed her lips firmly to his, "Of course I have to realize this now, with the cameras swarming."

Tommy tangled his fingers in Jude's hair, shaking his head softly, "Doesn't matter – we'll find out in the morning."

Jude smiled and wound her arms around Tommy's waist, "You're really happy about this?" She asked "I mean, truly, honestly happy? Because I know we never talked about actually trying for another one, but-"

Tommy silenced her with a peck on the lips, "I'm happy." He assured

"Are you sure?"

Tommy smiled and kissed her again, "Positive."

"Good – so am I."

"And who knows," Tommy shrugged lightly, "If you're not, maybe we can actually start trying…?"

A swarm of butterflies fluttered through Jude's stomach at his words. Finally, Tommy's absolutely committed – committed and on the same page, for once. "Yeah." She answered

A loud, obnoxious knock suddenly sounded on the glass door behind them, shattering the moment. Jude glared over her shoulder, finding Darius' equally unhappy face staring back at her.

"What's his problem?" Tommy asked

"He's probably pissed that we aren't properly using the last of our studio time." Jude sighed, reaching to unlock the studio's door

"Can you explain to me why you're in here – not working – and the crew is in there, waiting on you?"

Jude clicked her tongue in fake sympathy, "You see, I could explain it, but it's one of those you-had-to-be-there deals and I don't think we share the same humor."

Darius' brow furrowed in confusion, "What?"

"What?" Jude countered

Darius glanced between the two and shook his head, "Get back to work."

Tommy watched Darius retreat with a chuckle, "When'd you start talking back to Darius?"

Jude turned back to him with a light scowl hinting around her lips, "Since he informed me that I'll be cooking dinner for you tonight."

Tommy snorted, "Really?"

Jude nodded, "Yup. He even cut our studio time so I could get a jump on it."

"But does he…know you?"

"Not well enough, apparently." Jude sighed softly and shoved her hands into her back pockets, "I advise you to eat before you get home."

Tommy smirked, "Good advice."

"And if you end up with some kind of horrible food poisoning after tonight, you know - sorry in advance."

"Dearly noted."

At the sound of the camera crew approaching, Jude rolled her eyes and switched on her mic, "This whole MTV thing…my idea?"

"Unfortunately," Tommy nodded, "And I agreed to it."

"Your fault." Jude muttered

"Yours." Tommy retorted childishly and nudged her ribs playfully

The four crew men hovered around the studio's doorway until Jude and Tommy came out, and then resumed riding right on their heels.

They spent the remaining hour of studio time recording a rough draft of Love to Burn, both keeping an unwavering poker face. While she worked, Jude worked on configuring a plan to get a pregnancy test without it being a public matter. A long debate resulted with only one option: Sadie; she wasn't hounded by the press, and could be trusted not to say anything. Despite Jude's anger with Sadie, she was still her sister and deserved to know anyway. "So," Jude said casually as Tommy restarted the soundboard, "I'm, uh, gonna talk to Sadie about what we talked about earlier."

Tommy turned to look at Jude, surprised, "You really think that's necessary?"

"She could be very helpful, don't you think?"

"With what?"

"You know," Jude hinted "She could pick some of the materials we need."

"Oh," Tommy realized, "That's right."

"Think it's a good idea?"

Tommy hesitated, but agreed with an uncertain, "Sure. Come see me when you're done so I can walk you out."

"Okay," Jude pecked him on the lips and stood, "No worries." She whispered "Trust me."

"I do." Tommy smiled

Eventually Jude ended up texting Sadie what she needed from within the safe confines of the woman's bathroom, away from the camera, her mic off, and like baiting a fish, Sadie showed up a less than five minutes later. Jude braced herself in preparation for the potential argument and offered the best smile she could manage.

"If you're joking, this isn't funny." Sadie spat the second she laid eyes on her sister

Jude hopped up on the bathroom counter and offered a light shrug of her shoulders, "I'm not."

A look of pure exhaustion crossed Sadie's features and her posture slouched slightly "Jude…You're pregnant?"

"I might be," Jude smiled softly, "That's what I need the test for."

The sigh that came from Sadie was laced with disappointment, "I can't believe you let this happen – did you forget to take your birth control or something."

Jude groaned quietly, maybe this was a very bad idea, "No, I stopped taking it about a month ago."

"Wait – you're trying to get pregnant?"

"Not trying per say..."

Sadie crossed her arms over her stomach, "But you're not using protection?"

"No."

"Are you crazy?" Sadie demanded in a harsh whisper

Jude clenched her jaw, "Tommy and I both want this."

"And you think you're ready for children?"

Jude crossed her arms with a defiant "Yes, we are." Sadie opened her mouth to protest and Jude cut her off, "Never mind," She hopped off the counter, "I'll ask someone else."

Sadie caught her by the arm, "No, listen to me – Jude, you and Tommy haven't been stable, at all. Do you really want to bring a baby into this mess?"

"What mess?" Jude demanded, "We're doing great. We're living together, engaged-"

"Engaged isn't married," Sadie said, "And even then, it wouldn't take Tommy much to walk out on you."

"He wouldn't do that." Jude told Sadie with an absolute certainty "Not anymore."

"And what makes you so sure?" Sadie persisted

"I know Tommy – he really means it this time."

Sadie shook her head, a full on worried panic coming over her, "Aren't you tired of saying that? Can't you see the vicious cycle you're in?"

Jude scoffed, "What vicious cycle?"

Sadie put her hands on Jude's shoulders, "It always starts this way - you're happy in love for a little while, than he does something horrible, you break up, and go crawling right back. How bad does it have to get – what more could he possibly do to you?"

"You don't understand," Jude argued, "I'm sure it looks that way to you –"

"It looks that way to everyone, Jude! Think of all the things he's said to you, all the times he's broken your heart – how could you forgive him for that?"

Jude's gaze drifted to the tiles under her feet, "I just…do, Sadie. I love him."

"For now." Sadie's tone dropped to a low, caring one as she rubbed Jude's back, "What if you have a baby and he leaves? What will you do then?"

Jude couldn't help it, triggered by Sadie, her mind found itself lost in the past, lost in the coldhearted Tommy she knew back in New Brunswick and trying desperately to remember all the changes Tommy's made since then.

"What about your career?" Sadie continued "Do you think you can out touring with a baby on your arm?"

"We'll make it work." Jude muttered weakly

Sadie gaged Jude's somewhat stubborn expression and offered a new point of view, one that Jude would respond to, "You're so young...do you really want to spend the best years of your life married and raising a kid? Or, what if you change your mind? Can you imagine how much that'll hurt Tommy?"

Jude's eye's snapped up to meet Sadie's, "Since when do you care about Tommy?"

"I don't, but you do and I know you'll hate yourself if you jump into all this before you're ready and end up leaving him."

"But I AM ready."

"Alright, well, if you are pregnant, are you planning on getting married before it comes? Are you ready to put your entire career on hold to take of your baby – to be a wife? Are you ready to be saddled forever to a man whose done nothing but hurt you?"

"It's not like that." Jude spoke around the lump growing in her throat, upset over the quake in her once sturdy resolve

"It is – that's exactly how it is, and how it always will be. Getting married and having babies won't fix the problems between you two."

Jude clamped down hard against the emotion rising and turned away from Sadie to grab her bag off the counter, "Tommy and I are fine. He loves me and won't hurt me anymore."

Hearing the shakiness of Jude's voice, Sadie raised a single eyebrow, "Which one of us are you trying to convince?"

Jude sniffled quietly and began pulling herself together for the camera waiting on the other side of the door, "I'm not sure." She admitted before switching on her mic and leaving the restroom.


	10. Chapter 10

Another text to Jude with no reply. Usually Jude's lack of response was a typical occurrence; her phone registered last in her list of priorities when she was stress or working, but as far as Tommy knew, she wasn't either of those things. Last he saw, she was in an amazingly good mood, off to see Sadie.

As Tommy turned to finish off his work, he wondered if sending Jude off alone to see Sadie was the best idea. Odds are that Sadie didn't take the news of Jude's possible pregnancy well, and probably had a fit about it. This didn't bother him at the time because Jude was just so…good with handling her sister - her art with defusing Sadie is something bomb squads would envy – but Tommy has firsthand experience in Sadie's persistence, and he himself has fallen victim to her nagging countless times.

Maybe Sadie's finally accomplished her mission of planting that seed of doubt in Jude's head; Jude could be off somewhere rethinking their entire relationship. His concern on whether the meeting with Sadie went south only spurred his anxiety. He needed to talk to Jude, needed to hear from her lips that everything was okay.

Shoving his laptop into its carrying case, Tommy spared a glance over his shoulder at the crew; they were lounging on separate ends of the couch, cell phones in hand while their equipment lay discarded on a nearby table. "I'm, uh, just gonna drop this off to Darius." Tommy said, holding up a demo disc he'd just printed for an Instant Star contestant, "I'll be right back."

The crew gave an uninterested nod of acknowledgment and returned to their devises. Tommy idly wondered if they were getting enough material; there were pretty hands off compared to other camera men he's dealt with, or maybe they're so laid back because Jude's the main priority. She is the reason for all this, after all.

Tommy found Darius' office empty, as he expected he would, and dropped the disc case amongst a scatter of papers. Out from the eye and ear of the cameras, Tommy freely made his way the receptionist's desk where Sadie was talking with Trisha. "Trisha," He greeted politely with a light nod of his head, then turned his attention to Sadie, "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Suddenly very interested in an invoice coming in, Sadie only offered a curt, "No." in response.

Tommy rapped his fingers on the counter and flashed an annoyed smile, "Please?"

Sadie gathered a folder from Trisha's desk and brought her and Tommy's conversation to hospitality, "What you need is in your coat pocket."

Tommy furrowed his brow in question, "What?"

Sadie seated herself on one of the stools with an eye roll, "The test," She whispered, "I snuck it in your coat when you left for coffee."

"Oh," Tommy realized, "Uh…thanks."

Sadie shrugged, "Whatever – tell Jude she owes me ten bucks." She glanced up at him and spoke in a quiet, insolent mutter, "I got the most accurate one, so we can be positive on whether you ruined her life."

Tommy's irritation spiked with a rough clench of his jaw, "Sadie," He said patiently, "Do you know where Jude is?"

"She's probably burning down your kitchen as we speak, why?"

At the reminder, Tommy's anxiety dropped considerably; Jude's not answering because she's busy cooking – or burning, rather – dinner. He let out a relieved breath, "Never mind."

Sensing an end to their conversation, Sadie gathered up her papers and stood, "Do me a favor and tell Jude to at least think about what I told her."

"What'd you tell her, exactly?"

Sadie flashed a bluffing smile, "Oh, nothing. The usual, I guess."

Tommy nodded, knowing exactly what the usual was. He didn't plan on mentioning Sadie to Jude at all, "Sure." He spat

Sadie took a few steps forward and shot a glare over her shoulder, "And if she's not pregnant, tell her I said congratulations." With a sarcastic smile, she turned and disappeared around a corner with Tommy glaring after her.

lllllllllllllllll

Having to channel all the acting talent she's acquired in the months following leaving New Brunswick, Jude kept up the everything's-fine-and-I-love-cooking façade like a pro. She briefly considered giving acting a real shot while scraping burnt chicken off a no-stick pan and flashing an 'Opps' smile to the camera in front her of face.

Luckily she'd taken Darius' advice to heart and got a jump start on cooking; if she'd started any later, Tommy would've walked in to a disaster scene. But the extra time provided her the opportunity to dump what she'd screwed up on and start over – twice.

It didn't take a whole lot of deliberation to figure out what she'd attempt to cook; Tommy was a fan of pasta, so Jude went with Chicken Alfredo. It was something she'd watch Sadie make countless times, and the only real work involved was the chicken, which the crew insisted she'd buy raw; it's like they knew she'd make an idiot of herself.

"See?" Jude gestured toward the boiling water on the stove "Pasta? No problem. Sauce from a jar? Perfect. Chicken on the other hand…" She sighed toward the pan soaking in the sink, "Third time's a charm, apparently."

"How's Tommy in the kitchen?" Noah asked

"Um…a little better than me – he's got the whole 'I'm French' thing going on, so he can make some stuff, but other than that, we're both pretty helpless." Jude forced out a breathy chuckle before tending to the stove. Since her talk with Sadie, Jude's been keeping contact with Tommy a minimum. She wasn't in the right place mentally to deal with him. No matter how strong or well-acted it was, Tommy would see through her façade and get all Tommy about it; he'd worry, get defensive, and after a long drawn out discussion, conclude that he's complete scum and be in a funk for days. She didn't have the strength to talk him out of another one of those.

Checking the clock, Jude tried to pull herself together, so at least she'd be half believable in front of Tommy. Due to Jude's recent weakness in regards to all things Tommy, Sadie's negativity had a stronger effect on her than usual. Ever since she had that crazy dream a few nights ago, an odd sort of fear began building in the back of her mind. Tommy could be up and gone at any second. One day he can just decide he didn't want this 'fake' life anymore and leave without so much as a goodbye. Could Jude handle it if he left again? Something like that could leave her completely broken…and that scared her.

Jude breathed in a long, lazy breath to clear her head and refocused on the task at hand: Not burning the place down.

llllll

Tommy showed up less than a half hour later, flowers in hand and camera in tow. The paparazzi crowd out front had shrunken throughout the course of the evening, it seemed. The lingering few eagerly snapped Tommy's picture as he walked inside.

Hearing Tommy's entry, Jude took a deep breath and flashed a smile to the camera. "Hey, babe." She called

Tommy hung his coat by the door with a chuckle, "Are my senses off, or does it really smell like something's not burning?" He entered the kitchen with a surprised smile, greeting Jude with a peck on the cheek, "For you." He held out the small rose bouquet

Jude grinned at the flowers, and pecked him on the lips, "Aw, thanks, babe."

Tommy set the vase aside, watching as Jude piled noodles onto two plates, "I thought you might need a pick me up, but looks like you don't need one."

"Nope," Jude smiled proudly, "Only took three tries."

Tommy's jaw dropped in faux surprise, "That's ten less than last time."

Jude rolled her eyes and playfully shoved against his chest, "Go make yourself useful."

Tommy grinned and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder, "I'm happy right here."

"Fine by me." Jude sighed, content for the moment

Tommy gave her a loving squeeze before releasing her to get a better look at her face, taking in her disheveled pony tail and tired eyes, "Awww," He cooed, brushing his knuckles against her cheek, "You look like you've been in cooking hell."

"I have been." Jude informed him, "Deep in the eighth circle with all the greasy fry pans and boiling oil."

Tommy smiled, "Well, if it's any consolation, it looks amazing."

Jude shot him a doubtful look, shoveling a generous amount of sauce on the waiting plates, and topping it with the chicken, "Liar."

"No, really." Tommy insisted, taking up both plates and bringing them to the table

Jude dug two bottles of water from the back of the fridge, and followed Tommy to the dining room.

"Water?" Tommy objected

Jude smirked, "This isn't a wine meal, trust me."

Tommy rolled his eyes and went for the kitchen, "Red or white?"

Jude stared incredulously after him, had he forgotten already? She glanced at the cameras to her right and sat at the small round table, "None for me, Tom."

Catching the emphasis in her voice, Tommy paused with his hand around the neck of red wine. "Oh yeah." He muttered to himself, feeling like an idiot "Sorry, babe." He called to her

"Don't like wine?" Owen asked

Jude nodded with a light grimace, "Hate it." she lied while Tommy returned to the table, his smile apologetic.

A few minutes into eating, Jude broke the incredibly awkward silence with discussion the Instant Star Tommy's working with – and big surprise – it's Brendon. Ignoring the cameras all together, Jude freely ranted about Sadie helping Darius find a loop hole in her contract so she'd work with Brendon. Tommy kept his aggravation to a minimum; ranting about what a bitch Sadie's been lately on camera probably won't help his relationship with her.

"Is he any good, at least?" Jude asked as she chewed, "Does he write his own stuff?"

Tommy shrugged, "I don't know. He can really rap, though. It'd be interesting to see what you two come up with."

Jude groaned quietly, "I don't know the first thing about writing a rap song."

"You won't have to," Tommy said, "Just write like you normally would and let him freestyle in the bridge – like Waste My Time."

Jude unhappily twirled the last of her pasta round her fork, "I guess." She grumbled "What are the other finalists like?"

"Eh," Tommy shrugged indifferently, "Nothing spectacular – Brendon's the best of the group."

Jude chewed her lip quietly in thought, her eyes directed to her plate, "You know, they didn't have all this special treatment stuff when I was a finalist. I didn't even get to see the studio until after I won."

"That was before Darius took over," Tommy reminded her, "And besides, if it had been done that way, we would've never met."

"How not?"

Tommy smirked, "I was told it was a one-time gig, producing a couple singles for the winner. I wouldn't have agreed if I had to record demos every week for all the finalists."

"Lazy." Jude muttered with small smile

Tommy's eyes narrowed, "Says the one who didn't want to get up after two takes."

Jude returned the playful glare leaned her folded arms on the table "That was before I got used to your work-me-to-death tendencies."

"And you should be thanking those tendencies," Tommy informed her with an arrogant tilt of his head, "How many albums have you sold now?"

"Touché"

lllllll

Taking advantage of Tommy's offer to clean up, Jude went to lay the couch and turned on the TV. She flipped quickly though the channels, stopping on a celebrity gossip show that was teasing an 'exclusive' inside look on her and Tommy's engagement, with witnesses' opinions. "Of all the times we've been caught in camera," She mumbled, "No one could've taped the proposal?" She sighed

Jude's channel surfing came to an end when the crew announced they were leaving. Tommy and Jude more than happily removed their mic packs and handed them over. While Owen and Noah packed up the rest of their stuff, George held back, lingering in the door way, "Off the record," He said to Tommy and Jude, "I never believed those rumors were true about you guys, and after today, I don't think anyone will." He smiled, "It's been fun."

Jude smiled in return and happily shook his hand, "Thanks."

George shook hands with Tommy, and stepped outside, "Good luck, guys."

"Bye." Jude shut the door behind him and grinned sleepily at Tommy, "I think he's right – this'll fix everything."

With the cameras gone Tommy's posture relaxed fully, and he pulled Jude in for hug, "I think it will." He agreed

Jude pulled out of his arms, an expression of faux contentment on her face, "I'm going to bed." She yawned

"I'll be in in a few minutes." Tommy kissed her forehead and returned to the kitchen

Jude languidly changed into her pajamas and crawled into bed. She tried desperately to lift her spirits before Tommy came in the room; without the cameras, her motivation to keep a poker face dropped considerably. The knot of worry made its presences known as she mulled over her talk with Sadie again. If she was pregnant, what would happen to her career? How could they balance taking care of a baby with their already hectic schedule? It just didn't seem possible. And the wedding – when will that be? Deep down, Jude wanted to enjoy a long engagement – enjoy just being with Tommy, but with a kid in the mix, it won't be just them anymore. The whole freedom of their relationship will disappear the second the strip turns pink.

Jude let out a shaky breath and sat up, hearing Tommy's footsteps approaching in the hall. "Tommy?" She started hesitantly when he came in to view, "Can I ask you something?"

Tommy pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it in the hamper, "Sure."

"Can you come here, please? It's important."

Finally meeting her eyes, Tommy recognized the worried, unsure expression immediately and quickly made his way to her, "What's wrong?"

Jude focused her gaze to her lap, "Don't get mad, kay?"

"I won't."

Jude glanced up at him, carefully wording what she needed to ask, "The other night," She started, "I had this crazy dream about you; we out on a balcony and you were saying all this stuff about how I was stupid for being with you because you'd only end up hurting me…" She shook her head lightly against the painful memories surfacing, "It got me thinking about that time in New Brunswick when you were going on about…thinking you're a fraud and whatever. And I was wondering…" Jude met his eyes with an almost fearful expression, "Do you still feel that way?"

After a brief hesitation, Tommy gathered Jude's hand in his, "Sometimes," He admitted, "But it's getting better." He assured

The little hope Jude held out for a better answer drained from her face, leaving one of disappointment "Oh." She whispered

"Sorry," Tommy said, noticing the change on her face, "It's really hard not to feel that way sometimes."

Jude's expression kept the same as her head drooped with the pressure of pure anxiety; if Tommy was still feeling the way he used to, than what's to stop him from slipping up?

"You do want me to tell you these things, right?"

Jude's eyes snapped up to meet his with a quick reassurance, "Yes, of course." She forced a smile, "I just – I uh, thought all that was behind us." She reached out and ran her hands down his arms, "I want you to talk to me – always - okay? So we can fix it."

Tommy smiled softly, "You know I try my best with you."

Jude nodded, "I know." She wrapped her arms around his neck to hide the pain written on her face. Sure, she knew he tried his hardest, but she's always the one hurt when he fails.


	11. Chapter 11

After spending a good majority of the night in a restless sleep, Jude woke the following morning in no better shape than she'd gone to bed in, it's like she hadn't slept at all. She groaned in the general direction of whatever woke her up and buried her face in her pillow.

"Jude." Tommy called softly as he continued his effort to wake her up and ran his hand up her back, "Babe, wake up."

Jude groggily succumbed to reality and blinked her eyes open, met immediately with the eyes of Tommy looking down at her. Another groan rumbled deep in her throat as she muttered a quiet, "What?"

Tommy smirked in response to her crankiness and tugged on the pillow under her head, "I have to leave for work soon, and I want to be here when you take the test."

_The test_. The pregnancy test. Jude's relaxed body tensed with stress under the blanket. Everything from the day before caught up with her all at once with a stunning clarity. All of the newly surfaced fear and anxiety quickly overtook her senses, and brought her to full consciousness. Mustering up a scratchy voice, Jude glanced up at him with tired eyes, "Can't we do it later?"

Oblivious to her inner struggle, Tommy offered a small smile and brushed the hair off her face, "The box says you should take it first thing in the morning."

Jude took in the look on Tommy's face and gave an involuntary smile in return; he looked happy, probably the happiest she's seen him in a long, long time. His fingers continued brushing through her hair as he waited her answer, and she couldn't help but wonder how long this would last for. How much longer would she have with this Tommy before he turned into the insecure, temperamental version of himself? But even with her wondering, she found herself affected by his infectious smile, "The box says?" She asked with an amused furrow of her brow, "You're gonna be a book parent, aren't you?"

"Maybe." Tommy grinned

Jude reached up and put a hand over her massive yawn and pushed the blanked from her body, "Alright, I'm up." The second her feet touched the wood floor, she was presented with a pink box, the words 'Pregnancy Test' written in bold across the front, seeming ominous somehow. Jude sucked in a deep breath and took the box from him, disappearing behind the bathroom door.

While he waited, Tommy went into the closet and carefully pulled on a t-shirt over his styled hair and collected his watch and wallet from a top the dresser. Gathering his rings, Tommy took note, as he usually did, of the one missing; he's long since thrown out the ring he'd accidentally hit Jude with back in New Brunswick.

In response to hearing the bathroom door open, Tommy went in, finding Jude perched on the edge of the bath tub with the pregnancy test lying on the counter. He sat next to her and silenced her tapping fingers by placing his hand over hers, "Nervous?"

Jude gave a jerky nod and glanced up at the test, "Very."

Tommy wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her close against his side, "There's nothing to worry about." He assured with a kiss

Jude bit down hard on her lower, wobbling lip and laid her head on Tommy's shoulder to hide her disagreeing face. There's a ton to worry about, and most of those worries stemmed from the man next to her. The last time she put her full trust in to him and their relationship, Tommy broke them apart. Add a baby to the mix, and there'll be a complete disaster. Jude lifted her head from his shoulder and shot an anxious glance toward the counter.

"Stop looking, you'll drive yourself crazy!" Tommy said, taking a firm hold on Jude's face and directing it back to him. "I'm keeping time, don't worry about it." Another easy smile crept across his lips as he took in Jude's face, lit only from the dull rising sunlight peering in from the next room.

"I can't help it," Jude forced a single laugh in return, "Five minutes doesn't seem long in theory…" Felt more like an eternity. So much was lying on this one little moment, so many things up in the air, and the little plastic pregnancy test on the counter was the deciding factor of where all the loose ends will land. Could Tommy be reliable? Reliable enough to be a parent? Sadie seemed absolutely positive that he wasn't…could she be right?

Despite the whirlwind of thoughts running though her head, the room around them was comfortably quiet, all Jude could hear was the ticking of the watch secured Tommy's wrist. Physically, she felt content in Tommy's hold, their bodies just seems to mold together naturally.

Tempted, Jude craned her neck to take a peek at the test, looking for any visible change she could see from her angle. "It's only been half a minute, babe." Again, Tommy redirected Jude's gaze to meet his "Calm down, everything's going to fine – no matter the outcome."

"I'm a little antsy, that's all." Jude explained softly, averting her eyes to the dark gray tiles covering the floor

Tommy pressed his lips to her temple and gathered her hand in his, "Don't be."

"Shouldn't I be?" Jude countered, her unease slipping through her well-constructed calm

Tommy's brow furrowed, and his grip tightened around her hand, "No, of course not."

Jude bit down on the inside of her lower, shaking, lip, "How could you say that? This is a huge deal."

"I'm not saying it's not," Tommy disagreed hesitantly, "Just that there's nothing to worry about."

"Sure there is." Was Jude's whispered reply. She gently removed her hand from his hold and clasped her own two together, leaning her elbows on her knees.

Tommy withheld a sigh and released his hold on her waist to rub her back. He was at a loss as to why her mood flipped so suddenly; just yesterday she was cheerfully announcing the news of her suspected pregnancy. He had a hunch Jude's talk with Sadie was the culprit, especially after Sadie's comment yesterday. She's been filling Jude's head with "The usual" and it's finally taking a toll – something Tommy hoped would never happen. Tommy loved Jude's belief in their relationship, in him; she never fails on being there for him, for anything. He couldn't imagine what Sadie could possibly say to put Jude in such a funk. Tommy glanced back at Jude in time to see her trying to take another look, "Stooop it," He murmured in an amused sing-song "We still have another three minutes."

Jude's expression didn't change, nor did she raise her eyes to look at him. Tommy stood from the edge of the tub and moved to sit in front of her on the closed lid of the toilet. "What's the matter?"

Jude shook her head, "Nothing."

"Talk to me." Tommy insisted

Jude dried her sweaty palms on her grey pajama bottoms before bracing them on either side of her hips "I'm really scared." She admitted in a small shaky voice

"Of what?"

Jude swallowed hard against the lump in her throat, finally coming to realize one of the reasons she was hesitant to get pregnant in the first place; fear of another miscarriage. The mere thought brought back vivid waves of loss. "There's so much that can go wrong…" She whispered, "What if we lose this one? I couldn't handle that – not again."

Tommy tucked some stray hair behind her ear, keeping a hold of her face, speaking softly and seriously "That's not going to happen."

"You don't know that."

"Jude," Tommy ducked his head to recapture her gaze "That was a different situation – we'll take care of this one."

A flicker of something – anger, or spite maybe – Tommy couldn't identify flashed in Jude's eyes, "And what about us?" She said, irked by his words. A different situation? It was a hell of a lot more than that.

Tommy attempted a smile, "We're doing great."

"For now."

Tommy recoiled from her words, his hand dropping from her face, "What's the matter with you?"

"We don't have the best track record."

Sadie. Tommy could be sure of it now; he's heard Sadie saying that exactly when referring to their relationship. "Let's start a new track record."

Jude kept her eyes steady on his, speaking with an almost angry tone, "You can't just erase the past, Tommy."

Tommy huffed out an angry sigh, and dropped his hand, "You really picked a hell of a time to start listening to Sadie."

Jude resumed chewing her bottom lip and rung her hands together, "Well, maybe she's right."

Tommy gestured pointedly toward the counter behind him, "It's a bit late for this, don't you think?"

"My timing sucks." Jude muttered, "But that's beside the point."

Tommy clenched his jaw, "What is your point then?"

Jude stared at him as if the answer was obvious, "If we have a baby there can't be anymore breaking up – and we're not good at staying together. What if we get married and end up divorced, than what?"

"That's not gonna happen." Tommy said firmly "We're done with all that shit."

"How many times have I heard that before?" Jude mumbled spitefully

"A lot, I know." Tommy said, trying to be understanding "But it's absolute this time, babe."

Jude shook her head, "We've only been back together for a few weeks; this isn't the time to be making huge life changes. I need to feel settled with you, but I can't. I feel like I'm on hold, waiting for the other shoe to drop."

Tommy ran his tongue through his mouth and shoved up to his feet, "I can't even hear this right now." Tommy reined his ire in, having taking strides in controlling his temper, it wasn't as difficult as it normally would've been. He was a little pissed at Jude, though, and extremely pissed at Sadie. Jude should know better than to start shoving negative thoughts in his head; especially since he's been having such a hard time fighting them off. Of course he knew their history and of course he knew how horribly wrong things could go…and how much he could screw everything up.

"Tommy!" Jude called after him, briefly halting his step, "Don't leave, I'm trying to talk to you."

Tommy scoffed, "Talk to me about how our relationship is doomed?"

"There's no certainty with us." Jude said, her voice cracking, with a light rise of her shoulders, "Sadie might be right." She turned her head away from him and focused on the shower curtain, listening to the angry steps of Tommy's retreat. Deep down, she knew she was hurting Tommy, and that she needed to go fix it, to stop him before he makes it out the door, but she couldn't find her legs; and if Tommy was truly serious about leaving their rough history behind, he wouldn't leave anyway. And from what Jude could hear, he hasn't. He's different Jude's better half chimed in You need to trust him, But just as she thought it, the sound of the front door swinging open and slamming shut echoed through the apartment…he left.

Jude sighed and shoved up to her feet, "So much for that." She muttered, beginning to feel guilty for spoiling Tommy's good attitude; this really wasn't the right for time for an argument. "Fuck."

Jude hovered in the bathroom's doorway, deliberating between going after Tommy and staying to see the test results. Before she could decide, though, she caught a glimpse of the little digital indicator on the front of the test. With a shaky grip, she picked it up to confirm what she saw...Not pregnant.

Relief was the first emotion Jude registered, followed closely by another wave of guilt. She'd freaked out over nothing; she wasn't even pregnant, so the argument with Tommy was both horribly timed and unnecessary. Jude tossed the test in to the trash, along with the box it came in, and headed for the living room. "Tommy?" She called halfheartedly, knowing Tommy had left, but checking to make sure and, as expected, she found herself alone.

lllllll

Jude had asked Tommy countless times not to leave during an argument, requested that he'd stay so they can talk things out, and he was getting pretty good doing just that, but this time, he needed to leave. Another minute in that room and he would've told her to just forget everything; knowing he would surely regret that later, he stormed out.

Jude will understand; after all, she's just waiting for him to go back to his old ways, so she'll be content in having been proven right. Again.

Once in his car, Tommy's hands fisted angrily around the steering wheel with a menacing scowl on his lips. A few cameras came rushing toward him just as he pulled away from the curb and sped down the street. He knew exactly where he needed to go, and wanted to do it while the impulse was strong and before he lost his nerve.

While he drove he made another impulsive decision that directly corresponded with the first; he was done being nice to Sadie. All this time, he'd only been civil in respect for Jude, but no more. If Sadie wanted to be a bitch, he could be a dick right back, and Jude would be wise to follow his example before Sadie completely destroyed their relationship.

As he weaved through the early-morning traffic, Tommy's fuming led him to realize that he'd been wrong in thinking Jude was the only strong one when it came to Sadie. The whole time Jude was on tour and he'd dealt with Sadie on his own, he never even thought to think twice about him and Jude's relationship. Everything that he went through back in New Brunswick, and all he went through in fighting for Jude, had left him stronger than he knew. He could do this, he really could. For the first time in his life he was ready to be the man he longed to be, the man Jude deserved, with no hesitation. Marriage, children…the thoughts weren't so ungraspable anymore. Jude made it all possible…and Sadie was trying to take that away from him.

Tommy harped on that last thought up until he finally arrived at the Harrison home. Sadie's car sat in the driveway; Tommy parked his right behind it and slammed the door as he stood.

He made the familiar trek up the sidewalk and right up to the door, not bothering to knock before barging in. He found Sadie right where he knew he would; in the kitchen drinking her morning coffee.

Sadie's head snapped in his direction, surprised by the sudden intruder, and relaxing when she saw it was only Tommy, "What the hell are you doing here? Is Jude with you?"

"No, I came by myself." Tommy stepped in to the kitchen, his fists balling at his sides, "I want to know who the hell you think you are."

Sadie rose her eyebrows in incredulous offence, "Excuse me?"

Tommy's lips twitched with anger, "You're meddling in my life, and I'm not gonna let it happen anymore. I understand that you think you're protecting Jude, but you don't have to. It needs to stop"

"And how, exactly, am I meddling in your life?"

"What affects Jude, affects me."

Sadie scoffed with a sarcastic smile, "Oh really?"

"Yes." Tommy hissed "Jude's starting to believe that we're doomed."

"Good," Sadie flashed a bitchy smile, "Then it's working."

"Sadie," Tommy spoke through his teeth, his tone a growl of patience, "I know you're not happy with the choice Jude made, but it was her choice. By some miracle, she took me back, and now you're taking her away from me."

Sadie shrugged, unalarmed at all by Tommy's temper, "If she's having doubts, than maybe they were there to start with."

Tommy shook his head, "No, you've been drilling those fucking thoughts of yours in to her head-"

"Thoughts of mine?" Sadie demanded in an abrupt wave of anger, turning to face Tommy, "All I'm doing is repeating what I've seen – the things that YOU'VE done to her!"

"I'm not going to hurt Jude anymore," Tommy said sternly, "And she knows it."

"Really? Because last time I talked to Jude, she seemed pretty upset about the whole thing."

"Because of something YOU said to her!"

"All I told her was the truth – the one you keep trying to hide from her." Sadie crossed her arms tightly over her chest, "We both know this isn't going to last." Her tone quiet and acidic "I'm going to make sure that Jude makes it out before you leave her."

Tommy roughly ground his teeth together, "Don't act like you fuckin' know me," He spat, "You have no idea the hell I've been through-"

"I know the hell you've put my sister through." Sadie took a brave step toward him, "So don't act like you fucking understand because you never will. Jude laid around this house for weeks, she didn't eat or sleep. She was in so much pain, that she couldn't feel anything – she was like a zombie. Words can't explain how badly off she was, and YOU did that to her. You broke her into pieces."

"I know." Tommy whispered in return, visibly affected by the images Sadie explained, "I'm trying to fix it."

"Why don't you fix it by leaving?" Sadie countered harshly

"I'm not going anywhere. Whether you believe it or not, I love Jude; she's the best thing that ever happened to me."

"And you're the worst thing that's happened to her." Sadie muttered

"Sadie," Tommy spoke her name calmly, but the stress in his tone layered her name with tension, "I know I hurt Jude, I know I won't ever know exactly how much, but Jude wants to be with me, and you just need to accept that."

"Not gonna happen."

"Fine, have it your way. But Jude and I are getting married whether you like it or not." Tommy inched his face closer to hers, "And nothing you say is going to change that."

Sadie scoffed, "We'll see."

Tommy glared right into Sadie's eyes, "Yeah, we will." With that, Tommy turned and left

llllllll

Back at their place, Jude was anxiously pacing the length of her living room. Tommy left his phone behind, so she had no way of knowing where his was, or what he was thinking. She couldn't do this, she couldn't start pushing him away. Deep down, she knew Tommy was different; the only issue was getting that message to the rest of her brain. Even though they had a lot to work through, and she had a lot she needed to talk to him about, the problems she brought up today came mostly from past fears. If she let this go on, she'll be constantly scared of the Tommy she knew in New Brunswick. Jude needed to put those thoughts away, or they'd always haunt her relationship with Tommy.

Jude went down the hall and into the bedroom, where she settled on the bed with her journal. A blank page open in front of her, pen in hand, she allowed her mind to wander back into that tragic time with Tommy and allowed herself to be overcome by the feeling of being there, of living in that place. Memories of fighting and violence were the first to come to mind; the pure cruelty and hatred oozing from every corner, every person. Then there was the cold, empty void that was…Tommy. Drunk and angry, throwing anything he could get his hands on, yelling at her – always yelling at her.

The strongest emotion of all, and the one that hit her the hardest, was the overpowering feeling of love she had for him throughout it all; the love that kept her there, the love she's had for Tommy since she was sixteen. Through the crippling pain and exhausting arguing, she never stopping loving him.

Jude soon found herself sobbing openly to the empty room, feeling the heartbreak all over again. She could hear his empty apologies clearly, as if he was standing right next to her, whispering them over and over again. And she could hear herself forgiving him…every time. His apologies like lies on his lips, but still accepted…because she loved him.

"_Love the way you lie_." She deadpanned, staring at the still blank page

With the dug up, raw feelings, Jude put her pen to paper and wrote them all down, making them prisoner to the page. Forever.


	12. Chapter 12

There wasn't much of a search involved with finding Tommy; Jude knew exactly where he'd be, and sure enough, there he was. Even though Darius remodeled most of Gmajor and its studios, he kept the back studio in pretty much the same condition Jude found it in years ago. Sure, he'd put in a working soundboard and sound-proofed the walls, but it was clear this wasn't the studio his bigger artists worked in. Jude had made it her own thinking place a while back, and after they'd gotten together, Tommy took to hiding out there as well.

Approaching his unmoving figure, Jude reeled over the conversation she had with Sadie a few minutes ago. Apparently, after he left, Tommy had gone and spoken to her in a "rude and aggressive manner" and Sadie was offended by it.

Jude brushed it off with an unconcerned chuckle. An argument between Sadie and Tommy had been waiting to happen for a while now, and she was more than positive that Sadie was overreacting. She just hoped that maybe their encounter released some of the tension boiling between them.

Tommy sat perfectly still, his back to her, sitting on a chair in studio C. When he finally sensed Jude's approach, Tommy closed the notebook in his hands and turned to face her.

Jude offered an apologetic smile, "Aren't you supposed to wave a white flag when you surrender?"

Tommy glanced up at her, not amused by her attempt at humor, "Is that supposed to be a joke?" Jude offered no answer in return. Tommy stuffed his pencil in the spirals of his notebook and dropped it on the soundboard, "What's the verdict?"

Remembering how excited Tommy was, Jude frowned, knowing she was delivering him bad news. "Not pregnant."

A flash of disappointment briefly crossed Tommy's features before he composed his face, "Bet you're happy." He muttered

Jude stepped forward, so she was standing directly In front of him, "I'm not." She whispered

"So all the crazy mood swings and everything…?"

Jude shrugged, "Just bad attitude, I guess." She pulled up a chair and plopped into it with a sigh, "I talked to Sadie just now, heard you were pretty upset."

"What? Are you gonna ream me out for yelling at your sister?"

"No," Jude waved off the statement, "Sadie needs to get yelled at once in a while - it keeps her grounded." They fell silent for a moment while Jude gathered what she needed to say, "I'm really sorry," She started "I didn't mean to freak out like that."

Mimicking her posture, Tommy leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, "Why did you?"

Jude hesitated, busy forcing herself to be completely honest, and quietly offered her hand out for Tommy to take; he did. "I freaked because I've been worrying a lot about us lately. I mean, usually when our relationship is really good, something ruins it."

Tommy's eyebrows arched in question, "Well, babe, if you've been worried, why didn't you talk to me about it?"

Jude's gaze met the floor, obviously unwilling to answer the question, "It's really hard to talk to you about that stuff."

"What do you mean?"

Jude briefly met his confused eyes before redirecting them elsewhere, "You can be very…" she trailed off, searching for the right word, "Sensitive," is the one she went with, "When it comes to our past; I'm scared that if I bring it up, you'll get back into that mindset, and you'll try to break us up again."

Tommy let out a breath laced with a subtle edge of sorrow, his hand curling tighter around hers, "That won't happen again – you can talk to me about anything, even if I'm the problem."

"But you're not the problem," Jude insisted, "You've been amazing. I'm just…worried that'll end. I'm worried you'll leave me again."

Tommy shook his head with a sincere promise, "I won't."

"You say that now," Jude said, her voice growing thick, "But will you still feel that way a year from now – five years from now?"

Tommy reached out to place his hand on the back of Jude's head, his thumb brushing against her hair, "I'm never going anywhere." When Jude's eyes finally returned to his, Tommy offered a small smile, "I'm addicted to you, Harrison."

Jude breathed out a smile of her own before holding a more serious expression, "There might be a rehab for that."

Tommy offered a playful smile, "Yeah, but the detox will kill me." Jude's expression didn't change, gaining a frown from Tommy. He released her hand, moving both of his to either side of her face, forcing her to look at him, "I love you." The soft spoken words rang loving and honest, "I don't think I'll ever make up for what you've been through; the best I can do is promise that it'll never happen again and hope you believe me."

"I do." Jude nodded softly

"Good." Tommy grinned, "And I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me, because you can talk to me about anything."

Jude rose an eyebrow with a doubtful expression, "Anything?"

"Absolutely."

Jude pursed her lips, "What if you start getting pissy?"

Tommy smirked and took both of her hands, placing them on his face, "Get my attention, and tell me I'm being an idiot."

Jude giggled softly, her hands pulling his face in closer, "You have a lot of idiocy to make up for."

Tommy smiled and closed the small distance between them with a gentle kiss. Jude's grip moved from his face, her arms going around his neck, while he pulled her into his lap.

Jude broke the kiss and opened her mouth to further the conversation, only to be cut off by a not-so-subtle subject change from Tommy, "So…not pregnant?"

"Nope."

"Are we happy about this?"

"No," Jude sighed "But I am a little relieved. I don't think we're ready for a baby just yet."

Tommy shrugged, "Whatever - getting pregnant was your idea anyway."

Jude's jaw dropped with a smile, "It was not!"

"Yes it was!" Tommy countered, "You're the one who doesn't want to use condoms."

"Yeah, well, you're the one who insisted I go off my birth control."

"Because YOU wanted to get pregnant!"

"Because you wanted me to get pregnant!"

"Because I thought that's what you wanted!"

They let out simultaneous huffs of frustration, scowling off in different directions, before Jude began laughing, "Our communication sucks." She exclaimed with animated bewilderment "When the hell did that happen?"

"I don't know." Tommy laughed, "But we should really fix it."

"Agreed." Jude smiled, "First things first; I want us to be married before I get pregnant."

"Deal." Tommy agreed "I want us to be married soon."

"And kids?"

"I really want one." Tommy confessed with a half-serious pout

"Yeah?" Jude lovingly ran her fingers through Tommy's hair, "You want me to give you babies?"

Tommy's eyes lit at the thought, an admiring smile hinting on his lips, "That's exactly what I want."

"I will. I promise." Jude adjusted in his lap so she was face level with him, "After the wedding." She confirmed

Tommy lifted Jude's left hand to his lips, kissing her engagement ring, "Deal."

Noticing the notebook Tommy had when she came in lying face down on the soundboard, Jude reached over for it, "What are you working on?"

Tommy's quick hand nabbed it from her grip before she could open it, "Nothing."

Jude cocked an eyebrow, "Really?" She asked suspiciously, reaching for it again, "That's quite a death grip you got for something that's nothing."

"It's nothing," Tommy insisted, a look of discomfort coming to his eyes, "I'm just…writing, I guess."

The suspicion on Jude's face turned to surprise, "Writing as in writing more than a verse or two?" Rarely did Tommy ever write for himself - most of his ideas were put into Jude's songs – so hearing that he was actually writing on his own, unleashed a whirlwind of ideas, mainly involving a solo album.

"Calm down." Tommy said, recognizing the look of wheels turning in Jude's head, "It's not a big deal."

"Sure it is!" Jude urged with an enthusiastic grin and managed to snag the notebook from Tommy's grip, loosened with distraction, "How many songs have you written?"

Again, Tommy's quicker hands won and had the notebook back in his protection, "Hardly any, I just started a few days ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know," Tommy shrugged, "I'm just as surprised as you are."

Early on in their relationship, Tommy had expressed to Jude that he hadn't written all that much since Angie died. He even gave it up all together until he decided he wanted to be a producer. At the time, Jude didn't comment much on it because of Tommy's sensitivity to the subject of a solo album, but now, she decided to test her boundaries a little, "Does this mean you're considering writing a whole album?"

"I'm not considering anything right now."

Jude sighed with disappointment, "Fine." She eyed the notebook again, "Can I at least see what you have so far?"

Tommy hesitated, gaging the expression on her face, "No criticism?"

Jude gave an overdramatic roll of her eyes, "Of course not."

Somewhat reluctantly, Tommy handed over his notebook.

Jude moved from his lap and back to her own seat, eagerly turning to the first page. "Wow." She whispered, turning the page, "These are really good." Jude glanced up, noticing Tommy's nervous posture, and furrowed her brow, "This really bothers you doesn't it?" She shook her head, "Why?"

Tommy leaned forward with a light shrug of his shoulders, "Too many years spent blocking out the world."

Jude nodded with understanding "Not used to getting so personal."

"Exactly."

Jude pursed her lips, "Is this too much?"

"No," Tommy immediately disagreed, "With you, it's okay." Jude called his bluff with a doubtful tilt of her head "It's really close to being okay." He corrected

Jude flashed a reassuring smile before directing her attention back to the notebook. The most recent page was only partially filled, and creased with eraser marks, leaving only one verse:

Been dying inside, little by little

Nowhere to go but going out of my mind in endless circles

Running from myself until you gave me a reason for standing still

"That's a good line." Jude muttered, pulling the pencil from its place in the notebook's spiral binding

"What are doing?" Tommy asked

"Relax, I'm just making a little addition."

"Jude," Tommy protested, grabbing for the pencil, "Don't change anything."

"I'm not," Jude argued while she scribbled down three words, "See?" She held it up so Tommy could see.

Tommy looked over the page and smiled, "I love you too…give it back."

Jude smirked and handed it over. "They're really good songs," She hedged, "Have you put music to them yet?"

"Jude." Tommy warned

"What?" Jude asked innocently, "I'm just wondering."

"Yeah," Tommy scoffed, "Wondering what my album cover's gonna look like."

"No," Jude disagreed, than smiled, "Maybe a little."

Tommy shook his head, "You're making way too much out of this – they're first drafts of rough lyrics-"

"They're not rough – they're really good. Album ready."

"I still have to put music to them, I have to get approval from Darius for studio time – hell, I'd have to get him let me work as an artist."

Jude shrugged, "Music is no problem for you. Darius will give you enough studio time for three demos, and once he hears those, he'll sign you in a heartbeat." She grinned encouragingly

"I don't know." Tommy sighed, "I'm not even sure I want to make an album, especially after the first one."

"You've matured since then."

"Not much." Tommy muttered

Jude rolled her eyes, "You don't give yourself enough credit." She wheeled her chair closer to his and leaned her forehead against his, "I think you'll make an amazing album someday." She put the notebook in his lap, "Whenever that may be."

Tommy smiled, touched, "Thanks, Jude."

Jude brought a hand to rest on the side of his face and pressed a firm kiss to his lips, "No sweat."

Just as Tommy leaned in to deepen the kiss, the studio door swung open, followed by a high pitched "There you are!"

Jude and Tommy groaned under their breath, "We should really lock that door." Tommy muttered

"Yeah, no kidding." Jude muttered before turning to face her sister, "What do you want, Sadie?"

Ignoring Jude, Sadie fixed her annoyed gaze on Tommy, "You're ten minutes late for your studio time."

Tommy sighed, "We'll continue this at home?" He asked Jude

Jude grinned, "Absolutely."

Tommy kissed her goodbye and stood, brushing by Sadie with an arrogant smirk. Sadie rolled her eyes. "I see you two made up."

Jude stood with a shrug, "We weren't really fighting."

Sadie leaned her shoulder against the doorframe, blocking Jude's exit, "Did you take the pregnancy test?"

"Yup."

"And?"

"My oven is bun-less."

Sadie flashed a relieved smile, "That's good."

Jude pursed her lips in thought before approaching Sadie, meeting her with a hug, "I love you, Sades."

Sadie blinked with surprise, returning the hug a second late, "I love you too, Jude."

Jude pulled back with a smile, "I'm lucky to have a sister like you."

Sadie eyed Jude's smile suspiciously, "…but?"

"But…" Jude breathed out an uneasy breath, "You have to trust me a little. I know you're worried about Tommy and me, but I know what I'm doing."

"I'm worried about what he'll do to you." Sadie corrected

"I know," Jude nodded, "And you don't have to be."

Sadie shook her head doubtfully, with a light scowl on her lips. Jude waited out Sadie's aggravation, hoping that her 'loving and appreciative sister' approach will work to ease Sadie up a little. Eventually Sadie's scowl dropped with a defeated sigh, "I'll tell you what," She said, "I'll stop putting down Tommy, if you can convince dad that getting engaged and moving in with Tommy was good idea."

Jude glared at Sadie's smirk; she knew what an impossible mission that was. Sure their dad will be okay with it eventually, but to warm him up to the idea immediately? Impossible. "C'mon, Sadie!" Jude complained

"What?" Sadie giggled, "Don't think dad will approve?"

"There's evil under all that shiny hair of yours."

Sadie grinned, and turned, heading for the lobby, "Have fun talking to dad."

Jude scowled after her and was on her way out the side door, when she realized she forgot to give Tommy his phone. With a huff, she headed into Studio A, finding Tommy behind the soundboard, watching the guy behind the glass rapping freestyle. "He's good." She exclaimed, surprised, "Is that Brendon?"

"That's him."

"Wow." Jude whispered, unwilling to admit aloud that Brendon was way better looking in person then on the picture Darius showed her. She shook the thought from her head and dug Tommy's phone from her back pocket, "You left this at home." She told him

"Thanks," Tommy said, than, with a smirk noticed the phone's wallpaper, "Um, as good as I look in this picture, I stopped using myself as wallpaper years ago."

"Oh." Jude chuckled and retrieved the correct phone from her bag, taking her phone back from Tommy. She watched Brendon finish up his verse and turned for the door, thinking that maybe it won't be so bad to work with him after all.


	13. Chapter 13

"Oh, God," Jude breathed, casting a swift glance out the passenger window of Tommy's car while Tommy executed a rather sharp turn before the traffic light could turn red, "You drive like a maniac."

Tommy's only response was a quiet smirk in her direction. The last few days were spent with Jude nervously prattling back and forth about pros and cons of the conversation she planned on having with her father. Jude had been considering telling her dad about the engagement for a while, but the arrangement she made with Sadie acted as further motivation to do it sooner rather than later, thus bringing forth Jude's suppressed stressed on the situation.

Tommy honestly couldn't understand what all the worry was about; she was telling him on the phone – which was possibly the easiest way to convey information to anyone – and after he reacts, she can hang up. It's not like she'll have to deal with his disapproval in person, every day, like she does with Sadie.

Jude propped her elbow against the door and pressed her fingers against her temple. She glanced out the window again, and flinched away from the sight, "You're really close to the curb." She gasped out anxiously.

"I'm only close if I hit it." Tommy informed her, still smirking; he knew it annoyed Jude when he drove 'recklessly' - as she called it, and was using it as a distraction from the approaching call from her dad.

"Some logic you got there." Jude muttered, her tone laced heavily with irritation, then tensed when Tommy eased too closely around a corner.

Tommy rolled his eyes, a light amusement hinting at his features, "You're fine."

"For now." Jude grumbled, "The way you drive…" She trailed off with an annoyed shake of her head

"There's nothing wrong with the way I drive," Tommy said matter-of-factly, "In fact, you have no idea how much skill it takes to drive as bad as I do."

Jude took her turn rolling her eyes and scowled out the windshield, "You're over the line." She pointed out

"Road lines are merely suggestions, set in place for normal people." Tommy explained

"And you're not normal?"

"Nope." Tommy flashed his infamous smile, "I'm the Tommy Quincy."

Jude shoved her lips to one side of her mouth, trying to hide her amused, but somewhat frustrated smile; he had an answer – no matter how ridiculous - for everything. "What about me – am I one of the normals?"

"No, you're the Jude Harrison."

Jude cocked an eyebrow, "When did my name get a 'The'?"

"Just now, when I said it."

"Oh," Jude cast a sly look in Tommy's direction and sighed with faux disappointment, "I thought someone important had said it."

Tommy cocked an eyebrow, "I'm not important?"

Keeping her eyes drawn out the passenger window, Jude smirked, "Nope, just annoying." Tommy following incoherent grumble brought a giggle to Jude's lips.

The remaining few minutes of the drive was spent in silence, mostly in fault of Jude and her stressful thoughts. It wasn't so much her father's reaction she worried about, her concern was placed more in having yet another person against her and Tommy's relationship; and the last thing Sadie needed was an ally in her anti-Tommy campaign. Overall, however, her dad has been pretty cool about the Tommy issue, and maybe this wouldn't be bad news to him, maybe he'll even be happy for them. Jude grimaced, knowing it was a long shot.

The second Tommy had the car parked in the Harrison home driveway, Jude shoved the car door open and trudged through the lightly pouring rain without lifting the hood of her jacket. Tommy followed quietly behind, an unused umbrella in hand.

"Sadie!" Jude called as she entered the home, pausing to kick off her shoes and remove her jacket before heading to the couch. Tommy sat closely next to Jude, putting his arm around her shoulders, "You're stressing out for nothing," He told her, "Everything will work out."

Jude gathered immense comfort from his assuring smile, and appreciated his carefree attitude. Taking his cue, Jude breathed in a calming breath and laid her head against Tommy's shoulder. "Thank you." She whispered

Sadie made her appearance less than a minute later, her enthusiastic footsteps on the stairs bringing attention to her entry. Jude watched Sadie's smiling face carefully, looking for a hidden motive behind her happy demeanor, "Hey, Sades." She greeted hesitantly

"Hi." Sadie grinned back, taking a seat on the coffee table in front of Jude, ignoring Tommy's presence all together, "Guess what?"

"What?"

"Darius and I are going on vacation together."

Jude inwardly grimaced at the thought, but presented a smile for her sister. Something about Darius and Sadie together was just so hard to get used to. "Again?" Jude asked, "You went on vacation in December."

"That was a winter vacation," Sadie replied as if the answer was obvious, "We're going in a spring vacation."

Jude shrugged, "Good for you. Where you headed?"

"It's a surprise." Sadie beamed with excitement, "He seems really happy about it, so I bet it's somewhere fabulous like Paris."

Tommy nodded, "Probably," He agreed, "Darius usually heads into Europe this time of year. But it's usually on business."

Jude raised a single, skeptical eyebrow, "Did he say specifically that you're going with him?"

Sadie shrugged, "Not in so many words, but he definitely implied it. And it doesn't matter if he's busy – all that matters, is that I'm going to Paris!" She finished her sentence with a light squeal

Jude flashed an excited smile in return, "I'm happy for you, Sadie. " She said sincerely

Sadie hopped up and rushed toward the ringing phone, leaving Tommy and Jude alone for the moment. "What do you think?" Jude asked

Tommy shook his head, "Darius doesn't mix business with pleasure."

"That's what I thought." Jude sighed, "Should I warn her?"

"She'll figure it out eventually." Tommy muttered, uninterested. The familiar irritation that rose whenever Sadie's around made itself known the moment Tommy saw her, but Tommy consciously focused on trying to rein it in for Jude's sake. "Remind me again why we have to be here for this?"

"Sadie and I's cell numbers change a lot," Jude explained, "So dad calls the house number every month. No to mention that he still thinks me and Sadie both live here…which is something else I have to tell him about." She groaned

Tommy slipped his arm behind her back and cradled her to him by the waist, a silent gesture of support.

Jude smiled, "I wish he was here so he could see how happy I am."

Tommy looked down, capturing her gaze with serious eyes, "You're happy?" He wanted to make sure

Jude's smile grew to an admiring grin, "Very."

Tommy's returning smile was just as loving, "Good." He pecked her lips

"Jude!" Sadie called as she approached her expression much less giddy and more toward worried now as she handed Jude the phone, speaking in a voice that implied Jude was in trouble; she recognized it all too well from childhood. "Dad wants to talk to you."

The tone paired with Sadie's face made Jude's entire body stiffen as she hesitantly reached for the phone and placed it to her ear, "Hey dad."

"Jude," Stuart's voice was unusually low and layered with tension. The sounds of distant chatter could be heard on the line, meaning he was somewhere more populated than the places he's been frequenting lately, "Care to clear a few things up for me?"

Jude shifted an uneasy glance toward Tommy, "Uh…sure, dad."

After a long pause, Stuart finally spoke again, blurting out a demanding, "What the hell is going on, Jude?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, right now I'm staring at a picture of you, bruised up, sitting outside a hospital."

Jude's body relaxed instantly with understanding. Her dad has finally come across the latest scandals regarding her and Tommy and was concerned. The change in her demeanor came across her face immediately, calming Tommy as well. "Dad," Jude smiled, her tone patronizing, "Are you reading foreign tabloids again?" She teased

Stuart huffed a frustrated breath into the phone, "I'm serious. Did Tommy put his hands on you?"

"No, of course not." Jude worked to press extra reassurance into her voice, "Remember when I told you I was going to help Tommy with his mom? That's where that picture came from."

"His mother did that to you?" Stuart asked doubtfully

"It got a little out of hand," Jude said, not wanting to outright lie, but ending up doing so anyway by saying, "What you're looking at was a onetime occurrence."

Catching the bluff, Tommy looked down at Jude with a cocked eyebrow, she only shrugged in response. "You know Tommy," Jude spoke into the phone, replying to something else Stuart had said, "He would never do that – that either." She breathed a quiet laugh and tilted the phone away from her mouth, "My dad's worried you've made him a grandfather without his permission."

Despite the truth in that statement, Tommy managed a small smile, playing along, "Wouldn't think of it."

Sadie stared between the two of them in disbelief, wondering why Jude wasn't being honest with their dad. She sat cross-legged on the coffee table next to Jude's propped up feet and tapped her shin, "Deal doesn't count if dad doesn't know the truth." She warned

"What deal?" Tommy whispered over Jude's head

"Nothing." Sadie grumbled in return

"Not true." Jude said, responding to a list of headlines her father was reading to her, "Not true – not true – that one's just ridiculous – not true." She looked up at Tommy and rolled her eyes, reaching up to place a hand on his cheek, a silent gesture that everything was fine, "Not true," She continued, than flushed a light red at a headline from almost a year ago, "Well…that one's only half true – I will never be able to explain it to your satisfaction." She sighed and held the phone out to Tommy, "My dad wants to know exactly how we were almost caught having sex in a public bathroom."

Tommy smirked and took the phone from her, relaying a defensive "It's was all Jude's idea." Before handing the phone back

Jude's eyes widened, her hand reaching out to smack Tommy's side.

"Very nice, Jude." Stuart muttered into the phone

Jude gave no response other than burying her face in her free hand until Stuart added, "You're using condoms, right?" where she groaned out an embarrassed, "_Dad_!"

Stuart chuckled, "Just making sure."

Jude scowled at the amused faces of Sadie and Tommy and looked pointedly away from them, "How many tabloids do you have anyway?"

"None – I googled you. This is the first time I've been on a computer in weeks."

Jude rolled her eyes, "You should know better than to google me…or to believe any rumors."

Another brief pause silenced the line while Stuart composed his voice, sounding much more like the concerned parent he was when Jude first got on the phone, "Is that all this is – rumors?"

Jude shared a quiet look with Tommy, deciding that the less her father knew, the better, "…Of course -I'm surprised you haven't heard about all this stuff already."

"Canadian celebrity news isn't exactly a focal point in Asia."

"Guess so." Jude took a deep breath, preparing for what she needed to say, her gaze shifting to her engagement ring, "While we're on the subject of me and Tommy…I have some news for you."

"Uh oh." Stuart sighed

"It's nothing bad," Jude quickly defended, "It's really good news, actually."

"Let's hear it."

"Uh, well…" Jude switched the phone from one ear to the other and tilted it out so Tommy could hear, "Tommy and I, we're…engaged." As it normally did, speaking the word out loud made Jude smile

"You are?" Stuart asked

Jude nodded, "Yup." She held her breath waiting for him to say something and leaned her head against Tommy's.

"Wow," Stuart finally said, then laughed, "Can't say I'm surprised – I always knew you two would get there eventually."

A hesitant smile began to grow at the corners of Jude's open mouth, "You're not upset about this?"

"I didn't think it would be this soon," Stuart admitted, "But no, I'm not upset. I'm happy for you – congratulations!"

Jude and Tommy shared an incredulous grin before Tommy leaned in and pressed his lips to Jude's temple, "Thanks, dad!" She gushed, a flood of relief washing over both her and Tommy. The hard part's over.

"Put Tommy on the phone." Stuart requested, Jude complied.

Tommy stood from the couch and began to pace around the space behind it, unable to sit still any longer. "Thank you, Mr. Harrison – Stuart."

Jude sat back and contently draped both arms over her stomach, "Dad never ceases to surprise, huh?" She said quietly to Sadie

Sadie opened her mouth to protest, ready to call out the fact that Stuart is only supportive because he doesn't know the whole truth about all Tommy's put Jude through, but stopped at the sight of Jude's purely happy, smiling face. For a reason she couldn't identify, Sadie didn't want to spoil Jude's mood; she's happy…isn't that what's most important?

With pursed lips, Sadie stared down at the floor in thought, idly listening to Tommy's side of the conversation with her dad. He sounded as thrilled as Jude looked. There was absolutely no way to deny that he really did love Jude.

Swallowing her prepared argument, and mustering up all the civility she possessed, Sadie moved to sit next to Jude. She wrapped her arm around her little sister's shoulders and smiled, "Congratulations, Jude."


	14. Chapter 14

"I don't understand why Darius throws so many parties." Jude griped before ordering herself a drink from the make-shift bar centered along the far wall of the G-major bash, thrown to celebrate the top five remaining Instant Star contestants, "And more so," She continued, "Why I'm obligated to attend all of them?"

Tommy smirked from beside her, his own drink damping his palm with condensation, "Welcome to the life of a producer…late nights, stuffy industry parties, cranky, disobedient artists." He added the last one with a light nudge to her side.

Jude brushed off his remark and cast a glare in his direction, "You've been a producer for how long – and you didn't warn me about this?"

"I'm pretty sure I have."

"You didn't try hard enough," Jude accused, "You were my Yoda, and you let me down!" She groaned

Tommy rolled his eyes, but otherwise didn't lose the amusement etched on his face. Even though Jude was in complaining mode, Tommy was happy to see her in better spirits than she was this morning. With her and Sadie on better terms and after talking with her dad, she seemed to have a lot taken off her mind, leaving room for the bubbly energetic Jude to return…that was until she was informed by Sadie that she'd be attending the G-major party.

"I hate Sadie," Jude grumbled, "Her stupid boyfriend too."

Tommy chuckled, "Relax. One more hour and we'll go."

That brightened Jude's outlook considerably; her posture perked and a hopeful smile crossed her face, "Really? A producer's quota is only an hour?"

Shrugging, Tommy turned to face the party, leaning his elbows on the bar top, "Back in my day," He started, gaining an eye roll from Jude, "I was only at these things long enough to get a hot blonde to go home with," He smiled at Jude's scowling, "But since I already have one of those, I think an hour will do."

Jude shook her head, a small smile fighting its way to her lips. Checking the delicate diamond watch secured to her wrist, she began counting down the minutes to freedom, taking a swig from her champagne flute. "I hate watches," She mused quietly, "But this one I want."

Tommy glanced toward the borrowed piece of jewelry and nodded, seeming to like it as well, "It's nice – why don't you buy it?"

Jude cocked an eyebrow, looking as if Tommy had overlooked something vital, "Uh, because it's like fifteen thousand dollars."

"So what?" Tommy shrugged, "You got it."

"It's frivolous." Jude mumbled, twisting the watch around her wrist, admiring the white-gold detail

Tommy rolled his eyes, "You only live once – enjoy yourself a little."

Jude laughed quietly under her breath, "Enjoy myself by blowing all my money?" She scrunched her nose at the idea, finding the concept ridiculous

"You won't be blowing all of it," Tommy disagreed, "Just some. And besides, with the way you spend money, you deserve to splurge every now and then."

Jude smirked, "And with the way you spend money, it wouldn't kill you to purge a little."

Tommy sighed, shaking his head in a what-am-I-going-to-do-with-you manner, "I blame your upbringing."

Jude turned with a laugh, her hand brushing along his arm to connect with his, "So do I; money responsibility has burned into my brain forever."

"And blowing money is in my nature."

Jude smiled, "We're quite the pair."

"No kidding." Tommy finished off his drink and discarded his glass on the bar, leaning down to peck Jude's lips before removing his hand from hers, "I have to talk with a few people," He said, motioning toward a small group of men in dark suits talking with Darius, "At least try to have a good time?"

"Don't count on it."

Retrieving another drink from the bar, Tommy departed and wound up at Darius' side, fronting the worst fake smile Jude had ever seen on Tommy. She giggled; he wasn't in for much fun either.

"I'll have what the lady's having." A male voice suddenly chimed in from behind Jude, sounding a little too close than necessary

Jude quickly turned, and was caught immediately by the sight of stunning blue eyes staring back at her, widened by her sudden movement. "Brendon." She said, matching the name to the face

"Jude Harrison." Brendon said, equally as taken back as Jude seemed to be, "Uh, Hi."

"Hey," Jude smiled reaching out her hand, "It's nice to finally meet you."

"Likewise." Brendon shook her hand with a firm grip, lingering a second or two longer than needed, his smirk turning to that of a man who thinks highly of himself, "What are the odds? I came to hit on a sexy woman at the bar, and I hit the jackpot."

Jude's brow rose with surprise at his sudden demeanor change, "I'm uh, flattered, but taken." She stuttered awkwardly, than presented her engagement ring

"Figures," Brendon scoffed, but didn't seem put off at all, "Married?"

"Engaged."

Brendon shrugged with a downturn of his lips, "That ain't a big deal." Without breaking eye contact he reached to gather his drink from the bar, frowning in disappointment, "Champagne?"

Jude - who was already ready to find an out from the conversation – looked away from him, muttering a defensive, "Yeah, so?"

"Ever heard of a real drink?"

"Yes," Jude answered, her voice low and annoyed, "But I'm the designated driver tonight."

"Ah," Brendon nodded with understanding, "Here wit' your girls?"

Jude nodded toward where Tommy was standing, "My fiancé, actually; he'll be drinking all night."

Brendon's brow furrowed in confusion, "And?"

"What?"

"So, because he's having a good time, you can't?"

"No, he just likes one of us to be clear headed at these things." Jude smirked, "To keep the other in line."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Brendon apologized sarcastically followed by an equally sarcastic correction, "Because he's having a good time, you're not allowed to."

Another peek in her annoyance had Jude glaring at the man she'd just met, "That's not what I meant."

"Then why is he the only one drinking?" Brendon turned toward the bar tender and ordered two vodka shots, "What's one little drink going to hurt?"

Jude stared at the shot, tempted; she had been craving a real drink since Sadie talked her into wearing stilettos for the party, "No thanks." She finally said

Brendon downed both shots, stopping in between to roll his eyes at Jude, "That's some leash he's got you on."

"I'm not on a leash." Jude hissed

Brendon scoffed, "Could've fooled me."

Jude scowled at Brendon's arrogant face, cursing herself for ever thinking he could even remotely qualify as someone attractive. Seeing the challenge in his eyes, she tilted her chin up defensively, "Give me a shot."

Three shots of vodka later, and Brendon initiated a contest involving several shots of gin and something about 'keeping it all down' – Jude wasn't really paying attention, she was far too distracted by the subtle buzz spreading through her body; it was just the fix she'd been waiting for.

Having never drank gin before, Jude grimaced at the unfamiliar test before forcing the liquid down her throat. Brendon smirked, speaking in a tone and accent that Jude sounded similar to Shay's, "Yo, girl, what's the matter – Can't handle your drink?"

Jude's lips shoved forward in a defensive scowl, "No, I'm with ya." She threw back another shot and was suddenly reminded of something Tommy always said about not mixing drinks; the reasoning he gave for that, however, was lost on her rapidly clouding mind.

lllllll

Finally released from a conversation with a long-winded industry head who spoke in paragraphs, Tommy was handed another drink from a waiter as he stood from the table he'd spent the last half-hour at. He downed his whiskey in three gulps and discarded the glass, weaving through the party goers to find Jude, but only able to find Sadie. "Have you seen Jude?"

Catching the scent coming off his breath, Sadie grimaced, "Whiskey again?"

Tommy nodded, "Loved every drop."

Sadie sighed with a light shake of her head, "Jude's driving, right?"

"Of course."

Sadie took a sip from her water bottle, trying very hard to remain civil for Jude's sake and ignoring all the nasty things she could say to Tommy right now, "I haven't seen Jude." She said, "She's probably with Darius."

Tommy groaned, obviously hoping for a better response, "If you see her-"

"You'll be at the bar." Sadie muttered, "I know."

Tommy's expression changed, like he was going to say something mean before noticing Jude at the bar. He's glare fell and his eyes wandered Jude's body in the tight black dress Sadie had forced her into, and the soft waves of her hair falling down her back as she…downed a shot? His brow furrowed at the sight, unable to interpret the action.

Since when was Jude a hard drinker? Tommy's never seen her drink anything stronger than wine or champagne. His eyes shifted to the man next to her, who seemed to be encouraging the drinking, but not drinking nearly as much as Jude was. "Is that Brendon?"

Sadie glanced in Jude's direction and shrugged, "Yeah, why?"

Tommy watched as Brendon's gaze ran down the front of Jude's body, his hand going to rest on the small of her back, just above the curve of her ass, and up to her neck, where he pulled her in to whisper something in her ear. Jude's body tensed with discomfort and she took an unsteady step away from him. Brendon followed, replacing his hand on her back.

Seeing this, Tommy quickly made his way to Jude, shoving Brendon's hand off Jude's body, "Back off." He growled

Brendon lifted his hands in surrender and took a pointed step back, the smirk never leaving his face, "Whoa, you must be the fiancé – am I right?"

"Yeah." Tommy spat, wrapping his arm around Jude's waist

Jude turned in response to the tight grip around her waist, relieved to find it was Tommy, "Hi." She offered a wide, intoxicated smile and pressed her wet lips to his cheek

"Hey babe." He greeted stiffly, his eyes never leaving Brendon.

Jude recognized the anger in Tommy's voice immediately and tilted her head up to see his angry face, "Whaaz wrong?" She slurred

"Nothing." Tommy spat

Oblivious to the silent stare-down going on between Tommy and Brendon, Jude reached up and wrapped her arms around Tommy's neck, "I think I'm drunk." She frowned

Brendon leaned forward and clasped Tommy's shoulder, "Don't be too hard on her, she really didn't want to break your rules."

"What rules?" Tommy demanded, his arm loosening around Jude, and taking an intimidating step toward Brendon

"Brendon!" A loud voice suddenly boomed from right next to them, "Get over here!" Darius commanded, breaking up what was surely turning into a fist fight.

Brendon smiled at Jude and parted with a wink, "Night, Tiger."

Jude groaned and scowled after him, "He's such a jerk." She muttered under her breath. When Tommy didn't reply, Jude stared up at his face again, noticing he now had the angry but protective glint in his eye that she's come to know very well; especially when she was being hit on by other guys. She giggled drunkenly, "Down, boy." Jude placed a hand on his cheek turned his face toward her, "You're cute when you're mad."

Tommy took in the drunken smile on Jude's lips and her half-lidded eyes and couldn't help but smile; she was an adorable drunk. He chuckled, "No more for you, Harrison."

"No problem." Jude grimaced at the empty shot glasses before returning her smile to Tommy, "Can we go home?"

Tommy nodded, "Let's go home." He agreed, leaning down to peck her lips

lllllllllllllllll

The door to their apartment swung open with a bag as the couple stumbled through, their lips fused together in a deep kiss, and a flurry of camera flashes behind them. Tommy blindly yanked the keys from the lock and flipped the paparazzi off before slamming the door shut.

Neither could really explain how they'd gone from sitting quietly in a cab to giving the driver a show of their making out in the backseat, then stumbling through the media frenzy crowding their stoop, and giving them quite a show as well. But however it happened, Tommy certainly wasn't complaining. Even though they've both had their fair share of drinks, Jude was worse off than he was, and a drunken Jude was something he's never had the pleasure of experiencing before now.

Jude broke the kiss, panting for air and attached her lips to Tommy's neck. He groaned pleasurably and wrapped Jude's legs around his hips so he could press himself against her, her back up against the wall in the hallway. His hands shoved up her dress, bunching it at her hips and hungrily pressing his lips to Jude's, his tongue thrusting into her mouth.

Jude shifted uncomfortably at the rough fabric of Tommy's pants scratching along her inner thighs, and returned her feet to the floor. Blindly undoing his belt, Jude's clumsy hands managed to yank it from its loops and shoved Tommy's pants and boxers from his hips. She kept her eyes locked on his while her hand wrapped around his now hard member, working it up and down his shaft and watching his eyes grow even darker in the soft light coming from the next room.

Growing impatient with her slow, teasing motion, Tommy removed her hand and hastily rid her lower half of her lacey panties before bringing her legs back up around his hips. "Bed." Jude moaned, feeling him pressing at her entrance.

Tommy smirked and unexpectedly thrust hard into her, "Right here." He whispered against her face.

Jude's hips shifted frantically, trying to gain some sort of control in her limited range of motion and searching for her fast approaching release. Her hands slid up Tommy's neck and fisted painfully in his hair as her teeth dug lightly into his shoulder. Tommy growled in response and leaned his head down to nip at Jude's neck, than soothing the bite with his tongue. Feeling himself starting to come undone, ran his tongue up her neck, "C'mon, baby." He panted in her ear, getting closer and closer to his climax, "Come with me."

Jude's head fell back against the wall, beads of sweat gathering on her chest, and disappearing under the strapless cut of her dress, "Harder." She breathed

Tommy brought both hands to Jude's hips, and began to slam himself into her, eliciting a guttural moan from Jude, followed by a call of his name with nearly every thrust until they simultaneously reached their high.

Stumbling back a few steps, Tommy crossed the narrow hallway and sunk down to the floor, Jude resting securely in his lap as they rode out the aftershocks. Their eyes met and Jude offered a tired smile, pressing a tender kiss to Tommy's temple. Tommy grinned, "Get drunk…more often."

"Ditto."

lllllllllllllllllll

Jude woke the next morning with a throbbing headache and a god awful taste in her mouth. Her limbs were tangled with Tommy's under a thin sheet on the bed, Tommy still asleep and her body dressed in the button up shirt he wore last night. Turning in Tommy's arms, the sight of his face surfaced a bunch of cloudy memories from the night before. A pleasant, lusty smile grew on her lips despite her painful hangover.

Her sore body reluctantly pulled itself from the warmth of her bed, stopping on her way to the bathroom to look down the hall, smirking at the few articles of clothing lining it, while the rest of her and Tommy's clothes lay in pools at the foot of the bed.

The bathroom reeked of vomit, which explained the puke-taste plaguing her mouth. She vaguely remembered rushing to the bathroom soon after getting undressed for bed, and Tommy giving her his shirt and holding her hair.

Jude grabbed her robe from the back of the bathroom door and gathered some much-needed medication from the cabinet. While she filled a little plastic cup with water, something sticking out of the trash caught Jude's eye: The box her pregnancy test came in.

At the sight, Jude froze, thinking again over the previous night's evens and recalling something vital…no condom.


	15. Chapter 15

Tommy found his way to hospitality and dug a bottle of aspirin from the back of a drawer by the sink. Being that Karma and Milo aren't producers - or held any talent other than annoyance according to Tommy - he had to oversee their work with their Instant Star finalists and record the demos for them. A low groan rumbled in his throat as he waited for the aspirin to take affect and rid the pain created by hours of horrid back beats and pointless lyrics; leave it to Darius to search the world and end up with pop stars.

Chugging the remains of his water bottle, Tommy headed toward Studio B to see if Jude was still around. The first time he'd gotten a producing job on his own, he floundered and ended up with a mess of a track that had to be cleaned up by the label that hired him, than fired him. He hoped Jude would be produce something better than that, but first the first job is always the hardest and he was ready to offer an assistance she needed, and was prepared to reassure that the next one would be better.

Through the glass door of Studio B, Tommy could easily spot Jude behind the soundboard, a pair of headphones over her ears and her hands busy working the knobs. She didn't seem stressed like Tommy suspected she would. Her focus was steady, and face unbothered by worry. Tommy checked his watch when he noticed Brendon in the studio behind a mic; he was supposed to be gone hours ago.

Tommy watched Brendon watch Jude as he finished off a lyric and couldn't help but notice the playful, almost flirting, smile set on his lips. The attraction was obvious. Brendon said something into the mic and watched Jude laugh in response, her own features were soft and professional, hinting no attraction at all, which comforted Tommy immensely.

"She's doing a great job." A female's voice suddenly murmured behind Tommy, breaking his intense stare directed at Brendon, "Really - you don't have to spy on her, she'll be fine without you."

Tommy turned his head, meeting the eyes of Sadie, than turned back to resume watching Brendon, "I'm not spying on her." He said "I'm just..." He trailed off, his eyes on Brendon as he entered the booth and rolled his chair close - too close - next to Jude, "Should I be worried?"

Sadie followed his gaze and furrowed her brow, "About what - Brendon? No, he's harmless."

Tommy shook his head doubtfully, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah - he flirts with all the girls, and Jude's not interested, trust me."

Tommy nodded, momentarily calmed by her answer, "Good."

Sadie glanced again in Jude's direction before handing Tommy a clip board, "Darius needs you to sign this, and he says the CD you gave him is skipping - you need to burn a new one."

Tommy groaned - he'd just shut down Studio A for the night. "Fine." He muttered and scribbled his signature at the bottom of a form regarding the songs he'd taken from the Gmajor catalog to give to Karma and Milo.

Sadie left without another word, leaving Tommy hovering by the Studio door. Knowing how much it bothered Jude when he got all 'jealous boyfriend' he decided it'd be best to see Jude when Brendon was gone.

llllllllllllllllll

Jude chuckled and shook her head in response to another one of Brendon's corny jokes, she knew he was flirting, and little by little, she was beginning to realize that he may have a crush on her, so she was being very careful not to do anything even remotely close to flirting back; she didn't want to lead him on, or give him any reason to think that things with her and Tommy aren't going well.

"Me and the other finalists met with Darius this morning," Brendon said casually, "And boy, can that man talk. I swear we were in that office for an hour before he even got to the point."

"What was he grilling you about?" Jude asked quietly, only partially interested

"I don't know - I zoned out fifteen minutes in."

Jude smiled a small, amused smile toward the laptop in front of her, but offered no verbal response before telling him to return to the studio to redo the first verse. He complied without complaint.

After her strike of inspiration, Jude wrote down more than half the song and called Brendon back in to record it. He took to the lyrics and concept immediately, and changed a lot of what Jude had written to match more of his vibe. He did give a bit of fuss over him having to actually sing, but when he heard the instrumental Jude worked up to go with the song, the argument stopped.

Jude had to admit that Brendon was much easier to work with when they were on the same page, and they definitely clicked well together, but Jude didn't see that as meaning much. She clicked with a lot of artists, like Mason for example - before he was cut from Gmajor, they made some great music together. And that's the only reason she was beginning to enjoy Brendon's company...at least that's what she was telling herself.

"You're making it radio un-friendly." Jude said into the intercom, interrupting Brendon's take, "Darius wants a song that can be aired live."

Brendon shrugged, "So? We'll call this the unedited version, and make a clean version."

"No cursing." Jude gave a stern glare, final on her decision. With this being the first time Darius let her work alone, she wanted to follow his rules exactly; she could find ways to break them later.

Brendon rolled his eyes, muttering the word "Prude." into the mic before motioning for Jude to rewind the track.

With all the vocals recorded, Brendon sat back and let Jude work while he worked on new melodies on his guitar, occasionally pausing to write new lyrics on a page Jude gave him from her journal. When he ran out of space to write, he asked for more paper, and Jude pointed to her journal sitting on the floor by her bag.

Flipping to the back for a blank sheet, Brendon stopped on Jude's last entry. He glanced up at Jude, making sure she was still occupied before reading it over. His eyebrows raised at the dark lyrics as he sat to reread them, "Whoa." He whispered, gaining Jude's attention. Noticing Jude's eyes on him, Brendon smirked, "Is this about the boyfriend?"

Jude's face paled with realization, and she quickly stood to snatch her journal back, but he stood and held it out of reach, "Brendon!" She yelled, "Give it to me!"

"So there is trouble in paradise!" Brendon exclaimed with an accusing amusement

"Stop it!" Jude finally got a hold of her journal and got it back in her possession with a strong snatch

Brendon chuckled and held his hands up in surrender, "Okay, okay. Geez." The smile on his face shrunk to a more professional expression, "But seriously, that's an amazing song."

"Thanks." Jude spat, stuffing her journal back in her bag and zipping it securely shut

"No, I mean it." Brendon insisted, "That's going to be a hit - are you going to record it? Can I freestyle the bridge?"

"No." Jude said, "It's personal."

"Isn't all your music?" Brendon countered, "What's so special about that?"

"It's about a rough time Tommy and I both went through last year," Jude spoke quietly, being sure to emphasize both to relieve blame from any particular person. "It's what started all those stupid rumors." She added, frowning, remembering.

Seeing the pain in Jude's eyes, Brendon's expression softened to be more sympathetic and caring, silently offering her his guitar, "Can you play it for me?"

Jude's eyes connected with his, seeing a version of him she hadn't seen yet - a serious one. Without that ridiculous smirk on his face, Brendon seemed much less like that ass he presents himself to be, and almost seemed like a decent person. Jude stared at the guitar, considering. What would it hurt to just play it for him? She looked over her shoulder, making sure the hallway was empty before shaking her head, "It's written for piano," She told him and went into the studio where a keyboard was set up, "Shut that door."

Brendon closed the door behind himself, and sat on a stool while Jude seated herself behind the keyboard and wordlessly began a melody,

"_On the first page of our story, the future seemed so bright_

_But then this thing turned out so evil, I don't know why I'm still surprised_

_I guess even angels have their wicked schemes_

_And you take that to new extremes_

_But you'll always be my hero, even though you lost your mind_

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?_

_Well, that's alright because I like the way it hurts_

_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry?_

_Well, that's alright because I love the way you lie_

_I love the way you lie_

_Now there's gravel in our voices, glass is shattered from the fight_

_In this tug of war, you'll always win, even when I'm right_

_Cuz, You feed me fables from your hand, with violent words and empty threats_

_And it's sick that all these battles are what keeps me satisfied_"

Listening to Jude sing the chorus again, Brendon's years of practice with rapping off the cuff quickly went to work and his mind worked to produce a lyric to accompany the song and it's overall meaning; an unhealthy, possibly abusive relationship,

"_It's morning, you wake a sun ray hits your face_

_Smeared makeup as we lay in the wake of destruction _

_Hush baby, speak softly tell me you're awfully sorry..._

_That you pushed me into the coffee table last night so I can push you off me_

_Try to touch me so I can scream at you not to touch me_

_Run out the room and I'll follow you like a lost puppy_

_Baby, without you I'm nothing_

_I'm so lost, hug me, tell me how ugly I am but that you'll always love me_

_Than after that, shove me, in the after math of the destructive path we're on_

_Two psychopaths but we...know that no matter how many knives we put in each other's backs..._"

Brendon's train of thought faltered along with the fluidity of his rap, as he struggled to regain his focus, Jude whispered softly, "We'll always have each other's backs...cuz we're that lucky." She added bitterly, her face far gone, months in the past, with Tommy, regretting ripping up old wounds.

"We have to record this." Brendon said

"No." Jude said so softly it was barely audible as she stood

Brendon stared after her - this song was getting out, it'll only take a little convincing.


	16. Chapter 16

"Tommy?" Jude called as she came through the door of their apartment, dropping her bag and coat in a heap on the floor. Last time she checked a clock, it was just after midnight, and her and Brendon were finally calling it quits for the night, parting on a celebratory note for having a fully mastered track to play for Darius the following day. "Tommy?" She called again, rushing down the hall to their bedroom and finding him sleeping.

Jude flipped on the overhead light and plugged the external hard drive containing Brendon's track into Tommy's computer. "Tommy," Jude murmured softly as she approached his motionless form and began pulling on his hand, "I need you to get up and listen to this!" She urged, Tommy groaned in response. "Up, up!" Jude encouraged

Tommy's eyes blinked open, then slammed shut at the light glaring overhead. "What?" He groaned, turning to his back, and pulling his hand from hers

"You need to listen to Brendon's new song!" Jude said, her tone almost whinny

"Now?"

Jude nodded and resumed tugging on his arm, "Yes. Now. C'mon!"

Still half asleep, Tommy glanced up at Jude, than closed his eyes again, "Babe, I'll listen to it in the morning."

"It can't wait," Jude trilled, and hopped on the bed, her knees straddling his hips, "It'll only a take few minutes."

Tommy winced again against the light, and stared up at Jude, who was staring back with an expectant look and an excited smile. Resigned, he sighed propped himself up on his elbows, "Fine, I'm up. Get off."

Jude waited at the bedside while Tommy got up, then rushed ahead of him to the desk and opened the track through pro-tools before giving Tommy the chair.

Tommy plopped down in front of the computer with a yawn, and propped his head up on his hand, "Alright, let's hear it."

Jude huffed a sigh at his lack of enthusiasm and pressed play, filling the room with a brief intro followed by Brendon's voice.

_Every clock is ticking faster, taking trips around the sun_

_Another year, another chapter, five and four and three and two and one_

"You got him to sing?" Tommy asked, surprised

"Um-hm," Jude nodded, "And he's really good at it, don't you think?"

"Sure." Tommy agreed noncommittally, his prior displeasure with Brendon beginning to surface, "Did you come up with that beat?"

"Yeah." Jude grinned, seeming proud of herself

Tommy nodded, impressed, "It's really good."

_Drop your calls, loose your keys_

_(Before the drinks are gone)_

_Get yourself out your seat_

_(Oh, Oh)_

_Quit your bitchin', move your feet_

_Cuz nobody gives a damn about the day that you were born_

"It's the album cut," Jude explained, "We made a radio version too."

Tommy cocked a questioning eyebrow, "Album cut? He's not making an album."

"But he will - Darius said himself that Brendon is rigged to win, and when he does, this will be his first single."

Tommy gave her a look, "Uh, You're not telling Brendon all this, are you?"

Jude waved off the question, "No, of course not - I mean, I'm pretty sure he already knows - but I haven't said anything."

_This song's for anyone who it ain't your birthday_

_You've got to party like it's not, party like it's not_

_This song's for anyone who's having the worst day_

_You've gotta party like it's not, party like it's not._

_Party like it's not, party like it's not_

_(Like it's not your birthday)_

_Party like it's not, party like it's not_

_oh o oh_

_Party like it's not, party like it's not_

_(Like it's not your birthday)_

_Party like it's not, party like it's not_

_oh o oh_

Tommy mindlessly adjusted a few levels, making the clean track even neater. Jude furrowed her brow, wondering how he'd made it better with just a few minor changes. Tommy noticed the look on her face, realizing what he'd done, and smiled, "It all comes with practice, babe." He assured softly. "What made you make a pop song?" He asked

Jude shrugged, "I don't know, it just happened that way - but it's good, right?"

"Yeah," Tommy agreed uncertainly, his eyes on the computer screen, "It's not...you, though."

"It's not supposed to be me," Jude reminded, "It's supposed to be Brendon."

"It's not really him either." Tommy muttered, "And shouldn't this be a duet of some sort?"

Jude sighed, exasperated, "Yes, but like I said, it's an album cut - I'm on the demo."

_Take a sip of the high life, chase it down until you fall_

_Three hundred sixty five nights_

_Why just one if we can have them all?_

_Drop your calls, lose your keys_

_Before the drinks are gone_

_Get yourself out your seat_

_oh oh_

_Clap your hands, move your feet_

_Until the break of dawn_

_Cause nobody gives a damn about the day that you were born_

Tommy listened, his sleep addled brain growing more alert by the second, and was honestly impressed by Jude's first try producing on her own - even though it came out pop. "Who wrote this?" He asked, noticing the lack of Jude's flare in the lyrics

"I helped, but Brendon wrote most of it."

_Okay lets lose control, I wanna see everybody on the floor_

_Well go and send your invitations_

_Do it now 'cause time is wasting_

_Life is tough so fill them cups_

_One life to live, I'm gonna live it up_

_Drinks go up, drink em' down_

_Turn it up, wake up the town_

_Ok, Check it out, here's the plan_

_We gonna dance till we can not stand_

_Move your feet to every beat_

_Oh Crap, bring it back, put it on repeat_

_We are going to party till the break of dawn_

_I don't even know how i'm getting home_

_It's alright it's ok_

_It's not even my birthday!_

After the second chorus, when the rap hook hit, Tommy's attention was brought back to the screen, surprised by the way the song fluidly flowed from pop to hip hop and back again. It fit. He knew the second Darius heard it, he'd put it out immediately, it was a hit waiting to happen. He smiled up at Jude, "This is gonna be big."

Jude breathed out a smile of pure thrill, as if Tommy's approval sealed the song's - and her career's - fate. And with his approval, Jude finally quieted the doubts she had about the song. It was good - Tommy said so.

The song faded to an end and Tommy spend a few minutes making a few very minor improvements before standing, "You did an amazing job, Jude, really." He told her

Jude grinned and threw her arms around Tommy's neck. Tommy pulled from the embrace just enough to see her face and brushed the hair from her eyes, "Can I go back to bed now?"

Jude rolled her eyes, "Yes." she muttered

Tommy pecked her lips and returned to bed, turning off the light on his way, leaving only the glow from the computer lighting the room. Jude lips pressed together with a sarcastic look that said thanks a lot and plugged headphones into the lap top, playing the song on repeat.


	17. Chapter 17

"There's nothing more rewarding than holding your own disc after months of hard work," Darius said, coming – hopefully – to the conclusion of an extended pep talk being given to the Instant Star finalists. The past winners were among them, visually showing support for the sake of the cameras crowding the Gmajor lobby. In the means of actuality, however, little to none support was coming from anyone who got a surprise 7am call from Darius saying they needed to tape a segment for Instant star, and that included Jude and Karma.

Perched together on the arm of the sofa, Jude and Karma momentarily bonded over their displeasure for being drug out of bed for such a stupid cause. As Darius carried on about feelings of accomplishment and the importance of hard work, they held a quiet conversation regarding their need for coffee, and how they'd been deprived of such until after the meeting.

"I like to think of every artist as a flame, and no flame can grow without oxygen." Darius said, and Jude rolled her eyes, having quickly become annoyed with his relentless use of analogies. "Here at Gmajor we're all about fanning the flame, and getting the best work outta you."

Fanning the flame? Is that what he calls this twenty minute meeting? Jude smirked, and, on an impulse, raised her hand a little to get Darius' attention before blurting out, "Um, may I remind you that if you fan a flame too much, it goes out."

At that, the room filled with a quiet snickering from some, and outright laughing from Brendon and Milo. "Good one!" Brendon guffawed

Darius pause to glare at Jude, and shook his head before continuing. Karma, who was hiding her amused chuckling behind her hand, nudged Jude with her elbow, "I wonder if that'll make it to the show."

"It better," Jude muttered, "That's good material." She yawned and stared longingly toward hospitality where a pot of freshly brewed coffee was spreading its delicious scent throughout the room.

Following Jude's stare, Karma sighed, "What time did you get in last night?"

Jude withheld a yawn and redirected her attention to Karma, "About one. You?"

"Three." Karma groaned quietly in return

"Another late night with the lawyers?" Jude guessed; Even though Speid's been nonexistent around Gmajor since their tour, Jude's kept in close communication, and from what he's been telling her, Speid and Karma's suit with MTV was getting nasty. If it wasn't for Darius' help, they'd been long buried by now.

Karma nodded in response, adding, "Darius' lawyers are nearly as bad as he his."

"When's the next court date?"

"Next week."

Jude frowned, her gaze slanting back toward the coffee, surprised at how much she really cared that Karma was upset.

While she was on tour, Jude and Karma had formed an odd sort of cease fire simply because, due to their simultaneous life struggles, they didn't have it in them to fight. Since then, a tentative potential friendship has begun to bloom, and Jude found herself unsure of her feelings about that. Jude shrugged off the thought for now, deciding it best to leave it alone.

When Darius finally dismissed everyone, Jude and Brendon paired off and followed Darius into his office, disc in hand. Still pissed over Jude's comment, Jude could practically feel rolls of chill coming from Darius' cold shoulder and smiled knowing Darius won't be pissed for long.

"All right," Darius took a seat at his desk, "First of the day, let's hear it."

Jude and Brendon exchanged a confident smile while Darius loaded their CD into a laptop on his desk.

Perfectly at ease, Brendon sat back and stretched his arms along the length of the rests on either side of his chair. Jude sneaked a glance in his direction, taking a moment to stare at the smirk set on his lips and was a little taken in by it, constantly spurring her curiosity. Her staring continued until the opening bars of Brendon's song filled the room, quickly snapping her attention away from him.

In his typical Darius style, he remained quiet and stone-faced throughout the song's duration. Once it was over, however, Darius grinned, "Excellent job, superstar." He said to Jude, "I knew you'd give me a hit."

"You're welcome." Brendon said arrogantly

Jude rolled her eyes at Brendon, "I'm glad you like it, D."

"Rehearsal is tomorrow morning, and Sadie will be prepping you to go live Friday. Cool?"

Jude shrugged, resigned to her fate of another year on Instant Star, "Yup."

"Sure thing, Darius." Brendon said and, without cue, stood.

"Before you go," Darius stopped him, "I wanted to let you know that you both will be arriving at the rehearsal and show together."

Jude's eyebrows arched incredulously, "Why?"

Darius shrugged, "Press."

"You're alright with that, aren't you, tiger?"

Jude scowled, annoyed at the nickname Brendon's dubbed her with, and sighed, "Whatever."

"Please, not too much enthusiasm – don't want me getting an ego or anything."

Jude rolled her eyes and shoved up from her seat, "That all?"

"No," Darius dug a manila envelope from the bottom drawer of his desk and handed it to Jude, "This came for you today – it's a rough copy of your and Tommy's MTV segment."

Jude's eyes lit with sincere excitement and she eagerly took the envelope, "That was quick."

"There's a deadline in there for your music video, so I'd get started if I were you."

Jude shrugged, feeling a little smug in having control over something, "Not a problem."

For the first time in a while, Jude exited Darius' office smiling, ready to run home and watch the segment.

"So," Brendon said, lingering a bit awkwardly next to Jude, "Don't I get a hug?"

Jude looked up at him, puzzled, "For what?"

"First approved song from Darius."

"Oh yeah!" Jude laughed, "That's right – this is new to you."

Brendon held his arms open with an adorable expectant rise of his eyebrows that had Jude fighting a smile. With a theatrical roll of her eyes, Jude stepped into his arms for a quick hug, but rather than releasing Jude, Brendon kept his arm around her neck when she pulled away. "Question."

"Yes?" Jude answered, feeling only slightly uneasy in close proximity to Brendon

"When I win-"

"If you win." Jude corrected

"When I win," Brendon continued, "Does that mean you'll be my producer?"

Jude opened her mouth to answer, than snapped it shut with an animated look of confusion, "Um, I don't know. That's a good question, actually." She glanced shyly up at him, "Why? Do you want me to?"

Brendon began leading them to hospitality, "I wouldn't mind."

"No?"

Brendon released Jude from his hold and took two mugs from the cupboard, "You're not so bad. Definitely not a hard ass like Tommy."

At the mention of Tommy, Jude tensed, realizing just how close she was standing next to Brendon and took a step back, "Tommy's pretty amazing, though."

"Biased." Brendon muttered, handing Jude a steaming mug, "And besides, I'd rather spend a night mixing with you." He quirked an eyebrow, making a double meaning known

"Jude!"

At the sound of her name being called, Jude realized again that she was too close to Brendon, and quickly turned to the source, finding Sadie staring back at her. "I'll – uh," Jude stuttered, suddenly flustered, "See you later."

Brendon smirked, "Later, tiger."

Jude cast an unhappy scowl over her shoulder at the nickname, and fell in pace with Sadie, who was handing out sheets of paper to the Instant Star finalists. Three in total, the finalists consisted of two girls and one guy. Karma was busy discussing lip gloss quantities with a blond haired girl that looked about sixteen, and Milo was with an asian woman who seemed a little more punk than the rest. Jude hadn't gotten around to learning their names, but honestly didn't see the point in doing so. Brendon was going to win, so why bother with awkward small talk with someone you'll never see again?

"Tommy's looking for you." Sadie said, "Something about MTV wanting to interview you for the segment."

"Me?" Jude furrowed her brow at Sadie's back, "Don't they want to talk to both of us?"

Sadie shrugged, finally coming to a halt at the receptionist's desk, "Probably not." She took in her sister's confused face and sighed, "Face it, Jude. You're higher on the fame chain these days."

"Hm." Jude pursed her lips, seemingly impressed with her own fame, "That's pretty cool."

Sadie smirked, "I can practically see your head swelling."

"Oh, shut up." Jude waved her off, "I'm as level headed as they come."

Sadie snorted and reached to retrieve a stack of mail of Trisha's desk, "Sure." She grinned patronizingly before composing her face to look more professional when Darius walked by.

Jude watched the nonexistent contact between Darius and Sadie, her eyebrows arching in question. Darius passed without even a glance in Sadie's direction, even though he was only a few feet in front of her. And, other than a shift in her demeanor, Sadie didn't give him much attention either. "How long's it been now - you and Darius?"

"Um, I'm not sure. Why?"

Jude only shrugged in response, realizing that, besides her finding Sadie and Darius on the couch a couple months ago, she's never actually seen them together. She tried to chalk it up to the fact that her and Sadie don't live together anymore, but couldn't fully shake the odd feeling she had about them. "Do you have any plans this week?" She asked, trying to sound casual about it

Suddenly extremely interested in the pile of papers tacked to her clip board, Sadie tactfully avoided the question by asking, "Have you and Tommy set a wedding date yet?"

"Uh, I don't know – soon, I guess." Jude stuttered, caught off guard by the question, "Why?"

"We need to go dress shopping." Sadie proclaimed, "Not to mention all the planning we need to do!" She added, suddenly appearing as if someone had just dumped a ton of work on her, "Have you thought about where you want to have it yet? Because most venues need a six month notice."

"Six months?" Jude demanded, distracted

"But we can't even think about that until we settle the guest list." Just as she huffed out a breath, Sadie's phone chirped from the back pocket of her jeans. She was quick to retrieve it, "I need to take this, but I'll talk to you later about dress shopping, kay?"

Jude barely got out her "Yeah" before Sadie was gone. "Weird." She murmured to herself, watching her sister's retreating form.

Her staring was interrupted by a pair of arms abruptly circling her waist from behind, a surprised gasp parting her lips before she realized it was Tommy.

"What's weird?" Tommy's voice came softly in her ear, his chin resting on her shoulder, following her gaze

Jude's body relaxed naturally against his, automatically in a better mood with him so close, "Sadie wants to go dress shopping." She explained

"So?"

"Wedding dress shopping."

"Oh," Tommy realized, than shrugged, "That's a good thing, right?"

"Not when she's using that to get out of talking about Darius." Jude turned in Tommy's arms and propped an elbow up on the receptionist's desk, where Trisha remained absent, "How well do you know Darius?"

"Personally? Not very well."

Jude pursed her lips thoughtfully, "Well, is he the boyfriend type? I mean, does he date or," She held up her hands to make air quotes, "date?"

"Uh," Tommy's head shook slightly as he thought, "I really wouldn't know." He concluded, realizing himself that he didn't know Darius very well

Jude let the topic drop with a sigh, "I'll just have to corner Sadie later."

Tommy released all of Jude but her hand and began leading her to Studio C, "Did Sadie tell you MTV called me?"

Jude nodded, "Yeah."

"They're coming here tomorrow for our commentary."

As they passed hospitality, Jude noticed Brendon talking with a fellow finalist, his face lit with laughter. Jude smiled a little at the sight. "Commentary on what?" She asked Tommy, distracted

Tommy yanked the manila envelope Jude stashed in the pocket of her hoodie and held it up, "For this."

Jude snapped back into the conversation without Brendon in sight, "Oh yeah!" She nudged Tommy's side, "Are you nervous?"

"No," Tommy scoffed lightly, "You're the one who causes all the trouble."

Jude's jaw dropped with a playfully offended arch of her eyebrows, "That's such a lie!"

Tommy ushered Jude through the door of studio C and closed it behind them, a smirk on his lips, "Sooner you accept it, the easier it'll be."

Jude grumbled under her breath, too tired to banter with him, and fell into a chair in front of the sound board.

Tommy set the envelope aside and wordlessly handed Jude a notebook that she immediately recognized to be his, "What's this?" She asked

"I have news." Tommy announced and, along with the notebook, gave Jude a disc resting in a paper sleeve

The confusion barely had time to settle on Jude's face before she put two and two together. Her mouth fell open with a smile, "Oh my God!"

Seeing the excitement on her face, Tommy immediately spoke to rein in it, "Calm down – it's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal? Tommy, you're making an album!"

Tommy ran an uncomfortable hand through his hair, "It's not an album yet - all I have is a demo."

"Uh, and that's how albums start." Jude stated in a 'duh' voice, "Can I listen to it?" She asked, but was already removing the disc from its sleeve

Tommy stopped her hand when it reached the player and regained her attention, "Before you do that, I need to ask you something."

Noticing the serious look in his eyes, Jude met them with the same seriousness, "What?"

Tommy's lips turned up in a small smile as he looked into the eyes of the woman he loved, "Remember when you offered to be my wing man a few years ago?" Jude nodded. "Is that offer still good?" Tommy rolled his chair closer to Jude's, "Because I can't do this with anyone else."

A wide grin stretched across Jude's face as she intertwined her and Tommy's fingers, "If you have to ask, then you don't know me very well."

Tommy smiled in return and leaned in to press his lips to Jude's, "I'm demanding your services," He corrected, "You have no say."

"Thank you." Jude giggled, and then proceeded to put the CD in the player

"One more thing," Tommy started, blocking the play button with his hand, "I don't to approach Darius with this yet, okay? I want us – and only us – making this album for as long as possible."

Jude nodded, "My lips are sealed."


	18. Chapter 18

Late afternoon the next day, Jude and Tommy were returned to studio A after doing individual commentary interviews from different corners of Gmajor. According to the MTV crew, they wanted to keep their hour special as close to the music as possible, but Jude suspected the reason Darius scheduled them to tape there was more on the side of free publicity for his expanding company.

Now they were having Jude and Tommy set up for their couple interview on two low-backed stools in the control room of Studio A. The studio had been all set up for a mock recording session and would act as a back drop. Jude stared longingly over her shoulder at the microphone, wishing her and Tommy were recording instead of being interviewed.

"How much trash did you talk about me?" Tommy joked quietly, his elbow playfully nudging Jude's side

"So much." Jude whispered back, a hint of a smile playing on her lips

Tommy draped his hand along the back of Jude's stool and smirked, "Then we're even."

Jude rolled her eyes, amused. In all honesty, though, Jude did nothing but sing Tommy's praises at any opportunity, keeping in mind that this whole segment was a way to clear his name from the hideous abuse rumors circulating their relationship.

"How are you feeling about the show Friday?" Tommy asked, watching as a crew of about six people worked around them setting up cameras and sound equipment

"Fine." Jude shrugged "Brendon's pretty cool." She added casually

Tommy gave a weary glance in her direction, speaking quietly, "Think so?"

"Mhmm," Jude nodded, "Once you get past that persona of his, he's pretty decent."

"Does that mean you'll be producing him?"

"I don't know," Jude grimaced lightly, "It'll take up all my time."

"Well…you can if you want," Tommy hedged gingerly, "You've been working pretty well together."

Jude shook her head, but gave no verbal response due to the gradual approach of a nosey camera man trying to spy on their conversation.

Tommy sighed. During their break from taping, Jude met up with Brendon for rehearsal and Tommy decided to tag along. He sat quietly back stage of the Instant Star taping site and watched Jude and Brendon's interaction with a growing unease. They definitely had chemistry, and Brendon had no problem showing his affection for Jude. Tommy had trouble remembering a moment when Brendon wasn't looking at Jude or finding ways to keep her attention. And all the shameless flirting…

Jude remained pretty stone faced through the whole ordeal, and that relaxed Tommy some; at least the feelings weren't mutual.

As an assurance that he wasn't the jealous, insecure man he used to be, Tommy's been going out of his way to seem supportive of Jude's and Brendon's working – _strictly_ working – relationship. "It's cool if you want to produce him – you can tell me." Tommy added, sensing Jude's discomfort with the topic.

"I don't want to work with him." Jude confirmed primly before a sound tech handed her a mic.

Once they were all set up, Jude was leaning comfortably against Tommy's side, her head on his shoulder. "I'm ready for bed." She muttered under her breath

"Ready to start?" A man with a headset asked, seating himself on a stool behind a camera monitor.

Jude reluctantly sat up, and smiled when Tommy briefly pressed his lips to her temple. "Ready to roll." Tommy said

"Okay, let's start from the beginning: How did you meet?"

"We met," Jude started, "About four years ago when I won Instant Star – Tommy was my producer."

"Instant connection?"

Tommy and Jude shared a chuckle, "Uh, NO." Jude snorted, "He was cocky-"

"And she was so fucking stubborn-"

"And he was incredibly bossy and generally annoying." Jude paused and shook her head, "We really didn't care for each other." She concluded

"How long did that last?"

Jude met Tommy's eyes and shrugged, "What was it – a day?"

"More like two," Tommy corrected, his eyes still locked with Jude's, "Then I found out Jude had a crush on me." He flashed a conceded smile toward the camera

Jude rolled her eyes, "And I still haven't come to my senses."

llllll

"So, Jude, explain the attraction."

Jude cocked an eye brow and laughed, "By that do you mean how can someone like _me _possibly have fallen for someone like _him_?"

"I'm offended." Tommy muttered, gathering a few snickers from the room, "How come you haven't asked me that? You know," He stabbed his thumb in Jude's direction, "She's not as desirable as she looks."

Jude's jaw dropped and her brow furrowed with halfhearted offence. Tommy laughed and kissed the corner of her open mouth. Jude scowled at him, "You know, I was going to say something really nice, but I'm not going to now."

"I was joking." Tommy defended, humor in his voice

Jude leaned her elbow on her crossed legs and rested her head on her hand, "Not funny – you talk now." She gestured to the camera

lllll

"Does the age difference ever bother you?"

Even though the producer indicated the question was for Tommy, Jude decided to answer, "Oh, yeah." She nodded, "All the time."

Tommy rolled his eyes, "No. It doesn't bother me."

"We don't even notice it." Jude said, taking on a more serious tone, "And it's not even that much. I don't know why people make a big deal."

Jude took note of the exchanged glance between the producer and a camera man, and sat up in defensive anticipation for the next question. "So," The producer said, trying and failing to seem casual, but couldn't quite get the smirk off his face, "How long have you two been together?"

Jude resisted rolling her eyes. They were going the long way around directly asking if they were together before it was technically legal. What a story that would be, if MTV was the first to reveal the 'illegal' relationship. She sighed, tired of the dramatics of being a celebrity.

"About eighteen months." Tommy answered curtly, obviously picking up the same vibe Jude did

"It feels like longer." Jude admitted

Defeated, the producer continued to the next question, "People seem to think you've rushed to marriage. Do you agree?"

"If other peoples' opinion mattered, I'd ask for it." Jude muttered

Tommy smirked at Jude, amused, than answered, "I don't think so. People seem to forget that Jude and I have known each other for years. Marriage has been a long time coming."

Jude grinned, elated at Tommy's words, "It really has."

lllll

"If we didn't bicker, we'd fight." Tommy said in response to another question the producer had asked, "It's just our way of dealing with little annoyances with each other instead of bottling it up – it's always been that way with us, come to think of it."

"Yeah." Jude agreed, "And it's not like we bicker all time – you just got us on a rough morning."

"I don't think you can even call it bickering." Tommy added, watching the footage of their segment on a nearby monitor

"It's more like annoyed conversating." Jude said thoughtfully

Tommy looked at her questionably, "You mean _conversing_?"

"Yeah, that."

Tommy shook his head, "Wooow."

"Shut up."

llllll

"Any plans for the future? Kids, maybe?"

Jude blew the bangs from her forehead with an exhale, "Sure – someday. But we're focused more on actually getting married at this point."

"Have you set a date yet?"

Jude and Tommy shared a look, "Uh, not yet." Tommy answered, "But this year for sure."

"Any plans for kids after that?"

"I guess," Jude sighed, making a faux resigned expression, "He's really into the idea, but I only want kids if I can be promised that they'll turn out exactly like me."

"I don't think so." Tommy shook his head, "When we have kids, they'll grow up like me."

Jude pursed her lips and looked straight to camera, "Sorry, society."

llllll

"What's it been like living together?"

"It doesn't feel much different than not living together." Tommy said, glancing at Jude, "I mean, we were together all the time anyway."

"There was an adjustment period though," Jude disagreed, "Well, maybe not for him because he didn't have to move, but for me it's definitely a change – a great one." She added

"Are you upset you didn't get to live on your own?" Tommy asked her, suddenly curious

"No," Jude answered honestly, "I'm happy, actually. I hate being alone."

"Is there anything about living together you don't like?" The producer asked with a slight undertone of bitterness in his voice, searching for diversity.

"Yes!" Jude and Tommy answered simultaneously "Have you seen the footage?" Jude demanded, "He makes me crazy."

"She's the reason I'll get white hair." Tommy said matter-of-factly

Amused by the shift in conversation, the producer sat up a little straighter, asking, "Any particulars? Tommy, any peeves?"

Still chuckling a little, Tommy shrugged, "There really isn't a lot."

"No?" Jude asked, surprised, "Aw, thanks, babe."

"Specifically, though." Tommy continued, a look of frustration coming to his features, "I hate it when Jude doesn't dry her hair after a shower."

Jude chuckled knowingly; Tommy's been bugging her about that since the first time she stayed at his apartment.

"And It only bothers me because she leaves wet spots _everywhere_," Tommy shook his head, "I don't understand it. Pillows, couch cushions, blankets, clothes…it's like she goes out of her way to make everything wet."

"I like to relax after a shower." Jude defended, "It's not my fault my hair takes so long to dry."

"It'd be a lot quicker if you dried it." Tommy pointed out

"Yeah? Well, at least I'm not hair-obsessive like you are. I'm lucky if I get any mirror time in the morning."

Tommy gestured to his perfectly styled hair, with a smug expression, "Looks like these don't just happen."

"And they don't happen quickly, either." Jude quipped

The producer interrupted their bickering with another question, concerned about the time remaining in the interview, "What are some good things Jude does for you?"

Tommy's eyebrows quirked at the somewhat vague question and took the opportunity to annoy Jude a little, "You mean sexually?"

It worked, Jude doubled over in her seat, her hair falling forward in layers around her flushed face buried in her hands.

Tommy grinned to the camera, making it obvious he got the reaction he hoped for.

llllll

"I guess the obvious question remains," The producer said, setting his clipboard aside and leaning forward a little, his clasped hands under his chin "Are you happy?"

"I'm happy," Jude answered immediately, flashing a content smile in Tommy's direction, "I don't know about this one – are you happy?"

Tommy nodded, returning the gesture, "Couldn't be happier."

Jude leaned over and pecked Tommy on the lips before tucking her hand securely within his.

"Alrighty," The producer stood from his stool, "I think that's a wrap."

"Awesome," Jude yawned, standing up as well, stretching her stiff back, "Anything else?"

"You're all set."

Jude was the first to hand over her mic pack and was the first released from the studio; Tommy had been asked to stay behind to record some sound bites for upcoming TV promos. Jude had done all hers earlier.

Gmajor was unusually quiet for a Tuesday evening. Only a few lingering bodies hung around, some of which were part of the cleaning crew. She leisurely made her way to hospitality and started up a pot of coffee.

"A little late for coffee, don't you think?" Sadie commented, suddenly standing at Jude's side.

Jude jumped at the intrusion and looked around, "Where the hell did you come from."

"Over there." Sadie gestured over her shoulder with a nod of her head, "I saw you leave the studio – you and Tommy done already?"

"Already?" Jude scoffed, "We've been at this all day." She gathered a mug from the cupboard and set it beside the coffee maker, "And we have stuff to work on later."

"I hope that involves choosing a single and video."

"Yeah, yeah." Jude mumbled

They fell silent while Sadie resumed texting and Jude waited her coffee. Jude glanced at her sister, figuring this as good a time as any to bring up what Sadie's been avoiding. Last night when Jude had called her regarding 'dress shopping' Sadie refused to talk about anything but proper lengths, shades and dress searching underwear. Jude opened her mouth to speak, only to be cut off by Sadie, "Here," She said, handing Jude a folder, "I searched through your offers and came up with a bunch of people who'd love to fund your wedding dress – and some designers wanting make you one too. There's actually a couple good ones in there, I marked the ones I approve."

"Of course you did." Jude rolled her eyes at her sister's predictable behavior and set the folder aside, "You did all that last night?" She asked

"It only took a couple hours," Sadie shrugged, "I was here anyway."

Jude furrowed her brow, "How late were you here last night?"

"Um, I don't know. Three?"

"A.M.?" Jude demanded, "Sadie, what could you possibly have to do until three in the morning?"

"Just because I'm not an artist doesn't mean I don't have things to do." Sadie retorted defensively

"Things like what?" Jude challenged

Sadie visibly fumbled for an answer, "Just…stuff! Darius' contest keeps me busy."

The coffee maker finally sputtered the last of its contents into the pot, but Jude ignored it, her eyes trained on Sadie, "What about Darius? Is he busy too?"

"Of course. Why?"

"I don't know – just wondering when you two find time for each other." Jude hedged, "You are still making time for each other, aren't you?"

Sadie seemed upset by the question, her teeth ground together lightly, a motion Jude recognized as something Sadie did when he was trying not to get emotional, "Not really." She whispered

Jude's eyes widened with concern, "Did something happen?"

"No." Sadie's defenses shot right back up, "We're just…casual right now."

"Casual?"

"Yeah," Sadie nodded, trying very hard to appear okay with what she's about to say, "We were never really exclusive or anything. We're dating casual."

The confusion sunk deeper into Jude's features, "What do you mean you're dating casual?"

Sadie sighed, "He's free, and I'm free. No strings attached."

"What?" Jude demanded, "He's pulling that shit on you?"

"It's always been that way." Sadie argued

Jude shook her head, remembering all the times Sadie's referred to Darius as her boyfriend and suddenly realizing that Darius has never called Sadie his girlfriend. "No it hasn't."

"It has." Sadie insisted

"Uh, did you know that because you seemed pretty damn happy a few days ago."

"I'm still happy," Sadie said sternly, "I'm just a little bummed I can't to Paris with him, that's all."

"You're not going? Why?"

"It's a business trip."

"That's such a cop out!" Jude exclaimed angrily, "Sadie, he's so playing you."

"He is not!" Sadie raised her voice in return, "This is the agreement, and I'm fine with it."

"Sadie," Jude said, her tone reasoning, "You are the definition of a girlfriend girl. Since when are you okay sharing a guy with other women?"

"You don't know that there are other women," Sadie snapped, "And who says he's not sharing me too, huh?"

"What are you saying?" Jude said, concern welling in her tone, "Sadie, are you sleeping around?"

"No." Sadie answered curtly, and abruptly turned, "I'll talk to you later."

Coffee forgotten, Jude snatched her file off the counter and headed toward Studio C, fuming. Darius really had some balls, she thought angrily, how could he play Sadie like this? Once Sadie comes to her senses, Darius has another thing coming – Jude was sure of it – and she hoped to have a front row seat when Sadie kicks his ass.

Jude dug her bag out from where she stashed it under the sound board and retrieved Tommy's notebook from inside. She smiled to herself, feeling honored to be the only one on earth allowed to dig through such a personal side of Tommy and began reading through his latest entries, stopping on one in particular:

Few miles from town and I just broke down, spitting out smoke on the side of the road

I'm out here alone, just trying to get home to tell you I was wrong, but you already know

Believe me, I won't stop at nothing to see you so I started running

Jude grinned, remembering Christmas day when Tommy showed up out of the blue. They'd rewritten this verse last night, exchanging getting stranded at the airport for a car break down for dramatic effect and endless music video possibilities.

All that I'm after is a life full of laughter - as long as I'm laughing with you

I think that all that still matters is love ever after, after the life we've been though

Because I know there's no life after you.

Jude set the notebook on the soundboard and blindly reached for the guitar resting in its stand next to her, a melody forming in her head.

By the time Tommy arrived, Jude had already formulated the accompanying music for the song and was playing it through in a microphone wired to a laptop. He hung back, watching as Jude unknowingly sung his words back to him.

"You and I, right or wrong, there's no other one after this time I spent alone. It's hard to believe a man with sight could be so blind. Thinking about the better times, must have been out of my mind so I'm running back to tell you – all that I'm after is a life full of laughter, without you God knows what I'd do." Her voice faltered prematurely, the song coming to a halt.

"You were doing great." Tommy sounded from behind her, "Why'd you stop?"

Jude looked up at him, exhaling a shaky breath, "It's hard to believe sometimes."

"What is?"

Jude gave a light rise of her shoulders, her gaze drifting to Tommy's lyrics, "That you feel this way."

"It's all true." Tommy smiled. Removing the guitar from Jude's lap, Tommy wrapped his arms around her as he sunk down next to her in her chair. Content in the cage of Tommy's arms, Jude sighed pleasantly, taking note of how much their demeanor changed without the cameras around. She looked up into Tommy's eyes, "You love me right?"

"You know I do."

"Love me enough to be with me forever?"

Tommy leaned in and gently bumped his nose against Jude's, "Until the day I die."

Jude grimaced, "I hate that expression."

"Forever." Tommy corrected, "Why do you ask?"

Jude sighed, thinking Sadie and her fumbling relationship, "Just reminding myself how lucky I am."


	19. Chapter 19

The morning of her Instant Star performance with Brendon, Jude woke late, brought out of her sleep by a sudden uproar of noise sounding around her. First was call from a limo service confirming the scheduled pick-up time from her apartment. She groaned unintentionally to the man on the other line - she'd completely forgotten that she and Brendon were supposed to arrive at the Instant Star event together – and begrudgingly made the confirmation. Second to that came the noise that must have woken her initially, the sound of Tommy yelling.

Setting the cordless phone back in its base on the bedside table, Jude gathered a shirt of Tommy's from where it lay bunched at the end of the bed and pulled the soft fabric over her nude body. The shirt's hem fell to a stop around her upper thighs as she stood, following the sound of Tommy's voice to the living room, where she found him pacing with his cell phone pressed to his ear, "…What's so fucking hard to understand about that?"

Jude paused at the end of the hallway, startled by the angry energy coming from Tommy. She gingerly crept around the couch and settled on the far end near the arm, watching Tommy pace in front of her, and idly wondering how many times he ran into the coffee table before he moved it aside.

"No! No way in hell!" There was a pause while Tommy huffed an aggravated breath and the sound of a man talking on the other line filled the room. Before Jude had time to guess who it could be, Tommy began talking again, "If you do that, Tristan, I swear to GOD I'll-" He cut off with a visible clench of his jaw.

Jude quickly withdrew her feet when Tommy's pacing put them in his way and tucked her legs up on the cousin next to her. When he finally noticed her presence, Jude raised her eyebrows in question, mouthing, "What's wrong?"

Tommy's only response was an agitated shake of his head. "I'm done with this conversation," he declared, cutting off something Tristan was saying, "The answer's no."

Just as Tommy pulled the phone from his ear to end the call, Tristan yelled something that to Jude sounded like "Enjoy your caviar, you prick!"

"Sorry I woke you up." Tommy muttered, tossing his phone to the couch and going into the kitchen.

Curious, Jude checked the call log and discovered Tommy's been arguing with Tristan for over an hour. "What happened?" She called over her shoulder

"Tristan's had one to many knocks to the head – that's what happened." Tommy responded bitterly, followed by, "Do you want coffee?"

Jude's eyebrows arched at the swift subject change, "Uh, no…thanks."

Tommy emerged from the kitchen a minute later, a bottle of water in hand. He sat next to Jude with a huff.

Jude eyed him expectantly, but when Tommy refused to speak, Jude brought it up herself, hoping Tommy wasn't as sensitive about his brother as he is with topics about his mom, "What did your brother want?"

Tommy glanced once in Jude's direction, then sighed, "He wants me to go New Brunswick for a few days."

As an immediate reflex, Jude's whole body tensed, and her heart rate accelerated with stress at the thought of Tommy going back there and possibly never coming back, "W-why?"

"Apparently he's taken mom out of the home and needs someone to care for her while he's away."

Jude raked a hand through her hair, hoping she didn't appear as petrified as she felt, "Are you going?" She asked softly

"No." Tommy answered firmly, his gaze on the ceiling. "I can't go back to that – never again."

Jude nodded, relieved, "Good."

Tommy looked at her, and immediately could see the fear instilled in her eyes. His face softened and he reached over to pull Jude close, "I'm not going." He assured a little more gently, "I'm not going anywhere."

Jude's eyes fell closed as Tommy kissed her temple, the slightest hint of a smile coming across her lips, "Why did Tristan take her out of the home?"

"Because he's a fucking idiot." Tommy spat, his scowl directed at the fireplace, "He says he's keeping her on the meds, but I'm not buying it."

"I wouldn't either." Jude mumbled under her breath

"And," Tommy started with a breath, his eyes locking with Jude's, "He wants to come to the wedding."

Jude's eyes widened with surprise – Tommy's side of the guest list has never crossed Jude's mind before, "Do you want him to come?"

"I don't know," Tommy sighed, "He's threatening to just show up, but I know if he shows up uninvited he'll cause trouble…do you care if he comes?"

Jude wiped the sleep from her eyes just for a reason to look away from his, "Well, babe, he's your brother; it's not my place to say."

Tommy shook his head, "It's just as much your say as it is mine." He said, "It's our wedding."

Jude bit the inside of her lip, wanting to sound supportive, "I don't mind if he's there." She said truthfully – it was the mother that worried her, and she's never even met Tristan, "I mean, he's going to be my brother-in-law."

"I'll think about it." Tommy muttered dismissively, "We do, though, need to start thinking about whose coming."

Shoving the previous subject aside, Jude nodded, "I know." She thought over the few people she'd want to invite, "I don't want a huge a wedding." She decided

"Me either." Tommy agreed

"Sadie'll be disappointed – hey!" Jude cut off suddenly, her eyes finally taking in Tommy's appearance, "Where have you been?"

"What?" Tommy asked, distracted

"You're dressed."

"I went to work – I had a 7am with Karma, remember?"

Jude shook her head, "No."

Tommy smirked, "I believe I tried to mentioned it between 'let's go to bed' and you ripping my shirt off."

"Oh yeah." Jude smiled guiltily, a slight flush coloring her cheeks. "You must be exhausted."

Tommy nodded, "Not all of us got to sleep in." He pointed out playfully, "But I'm not complaining."

Jude grinned, "Maybe tonight you can find a way to even the score."

Tommy attached his lips to Jude's in a slow kiss, "Or I can settle it right-" His lustful words were interrupted by the ring of his cell phone. Tommy checked the display screen and groaned, "Hold that thought."

"Yeah?" He answered, shoving up from the couch and going down the hall to fight with Tristan where Jude wouldn't have to hear it.

Jude sighed, debating following after him, but deciding against as she processed a new, scary thought: Tristan's won't be just Tommy's brother for much longer. Soon, he'll be her brother-in-law. Jude shivered at the thought. How had she not realized before now that marrying Tommy meant marrying his family too?


	20. Chapter 20

"Am I being completely self-centered?" Jude asked Sadie, her voice quiet with an edge of desperation.

Sadie shrugged, busying herself with zipping up the dress Darius had rented for Jude for her grand entrance to the Instant Star show, "I don't think so – I understand why you're worried."

Jude heaved a sigh and her shoulders slouched with guilt. After Tommy finished his argument with Tristan, he napped on the couch while Jude anxiously considered her future in-laws.

Up until this morning, Jude had been under the foolish assumption that Tommy wasn't planning on having much contact with his family, but now that she's thought about it, it seemed so stupid now. Of course Tommy was going to keep in touch, it's his family, and because he is who he is, he'll always be there for them – especially his brother. Even with Tommy's promise not to return, Jude could tell he was faltering on the decision. By some force Jude couldn't identify, Tommy was being pulled back little by little. "I don't want him to go." She whispered hoarsely through a thick throat, "But I can't stop him from seeing his own family."

Sadie moved to stand in front of Jude, offering a sympathetic smile, "I don't know what to tell you. You're in a tough spot, sis."

"I know," Jude groaned, "I don't want to be the bitch that makes her husband choose between his wife and his family-"

"But you wish you could be."

Jude nodded, "Exactly. But it's more than just my dislike – hatred - of his mother – I'm worried about him. He'll be rounding this vicious circle until he dies if he doesn't stop now."

Sadie furrowed her brow, her hands working along the hem of her dress so it stopped at just the right height above her knees, "What vicious circle?"

Jude turned and perched on the very edge of her and Tommy's bed, watching Sadie twist in the mirror mounted to the inner door of the closet, "According to him, every few years his brother calls needing something, and as much as he doesn't want to, he gives in because he feels he has to."

"Why?"

"Because they're family." Jude scoffed, "I don't know what he feels he owes them – they treat him like shit."

"Family's family." Sadie murmured with a shrug, "Have you talked to Tommy about this?"

"No," Jude sighed, "I'll have to eventually, though." She watched as her sister relentlessly picked at her dress in the mirror and frowned; Sadie's obviously nervous about something. With a casual shift in tone, Jude directed the topic toward Sadie, "But anyway," She breathed, "What's going on with you?"

"Nothing." Sadie answered quickly

Jude rolled her eyes, "You're my sister, I know when you're worried about something," She reminded, "What is it?"

Sadie hesitated before joining Jude on the bed, her lips set in a worried line, "I'm worried about seeing Darius." She admitted, "Things are really weird right now."

"What kind of weird?"

"I'm not sure." Sadie shook her head with aggravation, "It's just not right between us anymore. We've barely talked in nearly a week."

"Of course not, he's off being unattached with some other girl." Jude grumbled

"Jude!" Sadie protested

"It's true, isn't it?" Jude demanded, "Sadie, you can't expect stability in an unstable relationship."

"We're not unstable," Sadie snapped, "It's just…"

"Casual." Jude finished bitterly for her sister with a disgusted shake of her head, "I can't believe him." She spat, "He has _you_, what else does he need?"

"That's my question." Sadie said sadly, her eyes drawn to the brand new pair of Louis Vuitton high heels, "I've never not been good enough." She added

"It's not you," Jude disagreed immediately, "You're amazing, Sade, and if he can't see that, he doesn't deserve you."

"It's not that simple," Sadie started, but was cut off by the sound of the front door swinging open.

"Jude!" Tommy called from the living room, "Your ride's here, babe."

Jude sighed, "Rain check?"

"Sure. I'll meet you at the show."

Jude hugged Sadie and hurried to the bathroom for last minute touch ups while Tommy made his way into the room. "What time do you go on?" Tommy asked

"Eight forty-five" Jude called back to him, "We're on last." She exited the bathroom just as Tommy was making his way in and headed for the intimidating heels Sadie left for her, "Why are you so late getting back?"

"Rehearsal with Milo ran long." Tommy answered crankily, "I hate that kid." He muttered

Jude smirked, "You're not alone. I didn't care much for him either." She steadied herself in the uncomfortable shoes and took a few tentative steps, "I need to get go."

Tommy emerged from the bathroom with a toothbrush dangling from the corner of his mouth, "I probably won't make it backstage before you go on," He said, removing the toothbrush from his mouth, "So watch your tempo and remember it's live TV so keep Brendon in line."

"No promises."

Tommy smiled and pecked her lips, "You look amazing, knock em dead."

Jude grinned, "You know I will."

Tommy stole another quick kiss before returning to his haste act of getting ready.

Somewhat unhappily, Jude made her way outside and was escorted to the limo by both the driver and a body guard Darius hired to ensure a safe grand entrance at the venue. The paparazzi lingering on the street gave less fuss than usual as Jude climbed into the backseat.

Less than fifteen minutes later, the limo pulled to a stop outside a hotel near the venue behind two other limos that Jude assumed were occupied by Brendon's fellow finalists and their Instant Star veterans.

"Good evening, Tiger." Brendon greeted cheerily, unaccompanied by the bodyguard but was eagerly escorted into the limo by the driver. "You're looking good tonight."

"Thanks," Jude answered primly, "Excited for the show?"

"Hell yeah!" Brendon barked happily, "Aren't you?"

Jude shrugged indifferently, "Sure."

The air fell quiet around them and while Jude found the silence a refreshing change of pace between her and Brendon, he must have found it awkward because he mostly fidgeted the whole ride. "Can't believe we're at finals already," Brendon finally piped up, "I feel like I'm gonna hurl." He chuckled

Jude smirked a little, "I remember that feeling."

"Did you, though?"

"What?"

"Hurl."

Jude laughed, "I did, actually; on the night of the actual finale." She eyed him questionably, her demeanor beginning to warm toward him, "Since when are you nervous?"

"I always get preshow jitters." Brendon said, his tone noticeably shaky

Jude nodded with understanding, "I used to get those."

"You don't now?"

"Not the nervous ones." Jude shrugged, "Now I just focus on the music instead of what can go wrong."

Brendon smiled, his posture beginning to relax, "Good idea."

Jude glanced at him, her eyes lit with curiosity, "You know, without that ridiculous front, you're actually kind of normal."

Brendon coughed a single laugh, "Uh, thanks?"

"No, really." Jude insisted, and added jokingly, "You have a real shot at not being a jackass."

Brendon grinned with a shake of his head, "Or maybe I'm only nice when I'm with you."

"Or maybe you think you need to be a jerk to be a rap star." Jude countered

llllll

By the time the limo stopped at the entrance, Jude and Brendon were engulfed in conversation regarding embarrassing on stage moments. The backseat was filled with laughter when the driver pulled the door open, and the pair exited the car with smiles on their faces. "Mine still trumps." Jude whispered to Brendon, "You can't top boob slippage."

"I think I can." Brendon whispered back, his arm wounding around her waist as they approached the door, an ocean of camera flashes and screaming fans boarding either side. Jude finally took notice of the closeness between them and cringed imagining all the headlines that'll appear on the morning tabloids.


	21. Chapter 21

The next morning, much like the previous one, Jude was woken with a phone call. Only this time it was Sadie calling to make sure Jude remembered they had plans to look at wedding dresses all day. Also unlike yesterday, Jude was happy to have been woken up. Sure, dress shopping with Sadie was normally a dreaded occasion, but today was about her and her wedding.

"We need to start unplugging that phone at night." Tommy grumbled crankily from beside her, his voice muffled against the pillow tucked under his cheek

Jude smiled and turned over with a yawn, her hand reaching up to rest on his shoulder, "Normally I would agree, but that was Sadie and she sounds so happy about shopping today."

"Sadie's always happy about shopping." Tommy muttered in return, still half asleep

"This is different – she's happy for me, for us." Jude grinned with excitement, her hand traveling down his arm and intertwining with his, "You should be happy about that."

"I'll be happy about it after coffee."

Jude breathed a laugh, "You're starting to sound like me." As Tommy lazy drifted on along verge of consciousness, Jude idly pulled her fingers through his messy hair, her thoughts revolving around their wedding, "This is the first decision I'll make for the wedding." She said quietly

Tommy turned to his back and offered a tired smile, "And I'm sure you'll do a great job."

Jude propped her head up on her fist, looking down at Tommy's sleepy face, "Do I have to wear white?"

"Yes." Tommy answered

"Why, though? White stands for purity and I'm obviously not pure anymore."

Tommy blinked his eyes open, his vision focusing in on her face, bringing another smile to his lips, "Sure you are – I'm your first, and last."

"But we didn't wait for the wedding."

"So? You're only ever going to be with one person. Just because we did it a little backwards doesn't mean you're not pure." Tommy yawned and reached up to brush the hair from Jude's face, "And besides, I want you in white."

Jude leaned down and briefly pressed her forehead against his, "White it is, then." She breathed a content sigh through her nose, "You're not superstitious about weddings, are you? Because I want you to help with the dress."

"I'll help take it off." Tommy suggested with a smirk

"No, really." Jude insisted

"I'm not superstitious." Tommy clarified, "I think Sadie is, though."

"Oh, yeah." Jude grimaced slightly and resumed pulling her fingers though Tommy's hair, "But whatever – it's not her decision."

With Jude's fingers working as a lull, Tommy was quickly falling back to sleep. Noticing this, Jude kissed him softly on the lips and began to edge off the bed, "Go back to sleep. I'll call you later, okay?" Tommy mumbled something that sounded like approval and turned back to his side, "Love you."

"Love you, too."

llllll

The early morning sky had just begun to golden as Jude pulled into her old driveway, rolling to a stop right next to Sadie's brand new silver Lexus. Jude eyed its glossy coat with indifference; her Mustang paled in comparison, but she preferred it over Sadie's flashy ride.

"Kitchen!" Sadie called the second Jude stepped through the front door. She inhaled the thick scent of coffee in the air and smiled, relishing in the comfort of her old home.

Sadie greeted Jude with a wide grin and a hug, "Ready to shop for the most important dress you'll ever own."

"Actually, I was thinking pant-suit." Jude teased as she filled a thermos with fresh coffee

"Not funny." Sadie said from behind her, seated at the island

Jude chuckled and sat next to Sadie, "So, where's our first stop today?"

Sadie pulled a binder from an abnormally large purse and opened to the third page, "We have an appointment at the bridal shop on Queens, than we're headed down town."

Jude eyed the stack of papers secured in the large binder and couldn't imagine that it was all for a wedding they hadn't even started planning yet, "Is that all stuff for the wedding?"

"Mostly ideas." Sadie told her and returned the binder to her bag, "We'll go over those later."

Jude nodded with the expression of someone who was unsure of what they were getting into, "Okay."

Sadie fidgeted with the buttons on her coat, an obvious hesitation tactic. Jude cleared her throat, "Are we leaving?"

"Yeah," Sadie turned so she was facing Jude and braced her hands on her knees, "I just need to talk to you first."

"About what?"

Noting the expression change on her sister's face, Sadie quickly elaborated, "It's nothing bad - or about Tommy -…I need to tell you something."

Jude mimicked Sadie's position, granting Sadie her full attention, "What is it?"

"I…I, um…think I might be," Sadie's mouth paused around the last word before she spit it out, "I might be pregnant."

Jude blinked in shock, her eyes widening, "What?"

"Yeah." Sadie breathed out with a nod, her face turning to one of panic, "I'm not sure – it's just a hunch right now."

"Uh," Jude fumbled for a response, her hand raking uncertainly through her hair, "Well, what makes you think you are?"

Sadie shrugged, "It's just a feeling I've been having lately. And I've been a little sick the last few days…" She trailed off with another shrug

Jude relaxed a little at the knowledge of Sadie's lack of, "Alright, so, we'll get you a test while we're out and you can take it tomorrow."

Sadie smiled tentatively, "Can I do it at your place? I don't really want to do it by myself."

"Of course, whatever you need." Jude grasped both of Sadie's hands within her own, "And I'm guessing it's Darius'?"

"Yup." Sadie answered unwillingly, "I haven't even told him."

"If you think you might be pregnant, you need to tell him."

"Jude," Sadie squeaked, her head shaking back and forth slowly, "I'm not sure if I want this – especially with him."

"What do you mean? If you are, you are – you don't really have a choice."

Sadie opened her mouth to offer the option she's been considering, but stopped at the sight of the locket dangling around Jude's neck. Jude wouldn't understand if Sadie didn't want to keep it, especially since she's lost a baby of her own. "I'm just really hoping I'm not." She ended up saying

Jude leaned forward and wrapped her arms around Sadie's neck, "Listen, if you just want to hang out today, we can. We can get you tested right now if you want."

Sadie hopped of the stool in a rush. She was nowhere near ready to deal with her potential pregnancy, "No way. Today's all about you." Jude began to protest only to be cut off by Sadie, "No arguments. If we cancel our appointments now, we'll get a bad rep and will end up buying a dress off the rack."

"Isn't that what we're doing?" Jude asked, confused

Sadie's chin dropped in disgust, "No! Jude, it's your wedding, you want something fabulous and original."

"_How_ original?"

Sadie clicked her tongue with impatience and all but yanked Jude off her stool, "You'll see when we get there."

Jude allowed herself to be drug out the door, too preoccupied with the fact that this was going to be a very, very long day.


	22. Chapter 22

"Your ideal shape is mermaid." Sadie informed Jude as they approached their third stop of the day. The last two bore little progress, and Jude was currently blaming that on Sadie and the designer bridal shops she's decided Jude absolutely needed for her wedding. "And that's all there is to it." Sadie continued

Jude clenched her hand around the strap of her bag and breathed a deep breath of patience through her nose, "But how will we know for sure unless I try any on?"

"It's a matter of science." Sadie said, seeming just as annoyed with Jude as Jude was with her, "And what best compliments your body type."

Jude sighed and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. Two shops and all Jude's done is look at dresses on paper. Sadie wouldn't dare allow her near the dreaded rack, and forced her to sit still while the designers sketched the images Sadie had conjured up for what Jude's dress should look like.

Sadie stopped at a set of large glass doors with a French name strewn across the front in white gloss. The sun glistened off the golden door handles and reflected off the lens of Jude's sunglasses. "Sadie." She groaned, feeling the era of rich snob orbing around the entrance, "I don't want to be here – I don't want a crazy one-of-a-kind dress."

Sadie led Jude a few feet down the sidewalk to allow two women in fur coats to enter the store. Jude scowled at them, wondering if they've ever had their views on animal rights questioned, or have ever been doused with red paint. "We've gone over this," Sadie hissed, "You want something original."

"No, I don't. I don't and I can't spend thousands of dollars on a dress I don't really want."

Sadie rolled her eyes, "I swear, you act like you don't have money."

"Or maybe I'd like to keep what I have."

"If there's a time to splurge, it's on your wedding day."

Jude rubbed her lips together, fighting the urge to argue in Sadie's potentially fragile temperament, "Alright, whatever. But can I at least put something on in this store?"

"Fine." Sadie huffed and turned for the door.

llllll

Worse. How can looking at actual dresses rather than sketches be worse? Jude demanded incredulously to herself as she stared at a small grouping of designer gowns dangling on the rack in front of her in the spacious dressing room Sadie shoved her in. The amount of tulle on one of the gowns was overpowering the other two, making them harder to distinguish.

"Jude!" Sadie called from the other side of the door, her perkiness nearly doubled since they've entered the store, "Do you need any help?"

"No." Jude called back and then proceeded to try on the dress that was the least visually intimidating.

"You see?" Sadie squealed happily as Jude opened the dressing room door, greeted by her sister in the dress she was sure Jude would go for. Sadie hurried in and finished zipping up the back. "You look so beautiful." She gushed. Her enthusiasm dwindled, however, when she caught the displeased look on her sister's face. "You don't like it?"

Jude shrugged noncommittally as she took in her reflection. Sure, the dress was beautiful and complimented her in all the right ways, but it just wasn't…it. "I don't know." She mumbled, distracted, "I've never seen myself in a wedding dress before." As she spoke the words, her chest became tight. Even though this wasn't the dress, it was a wedding dress – her wedding dress.

Jude dug her phone from her bag and snapped a picture. "For Tommy" She answered Sadie's questioning gaze. She sent the picture to Tommy with a message that read: First try. What do you think?

"Is there anything about the dress you do like?" Sadie asked, trying to nail down Jude preferences, her notebook ready.

"The ruching is nice." Jude said, running her fingers against the soft fabric clinging to her abdomen, "And I love this material."

"Silk it is." Sadie murmured to herself

Jude's fingers followed the fabric down over the strapless bodice and looked back to Sadie, "I don't like the shape." She realized, "It's very…Ariel."

Sadie smirked, "I'm not eliminating it completely – it suits you."

Jude's phone buzzed in her hand, jolting her from the trace she'd worked herself under. Tommy's answering text consisted of only one word: Speechless.

"Your heart's pounding." Sadie said suddenly from beside her, her hand paused on Jude's back

Jude grinned, offering her phone in response. Sadie smiled at the text, but also feeling a small sting of bitterness; she missed butterfly feeling of being in love. She handed Jude's phone back and went to the other two dresses, "Based on your criteria, you won't like these." She said and promptly removed the gowns from the rack, "I'll get you a few more."

"Sadie," Jude called after her, "Are you alright?"

Sadie nodded, forcing a smile to her lips, "…No." She squeaked out.

Jude removed the dresses from her sister's hand and rubbed her upper arm, "What's wrong, Sades?"

"Everything's so messed up!" Sadie cried loud enough to make Jude jump at the sudden volume in her voice.

Under the pressure of the lingering eyes on her from right outside the open dressing room door, Jude quickly shoved the door shut and led Sadie to a couch that costs more than a car settled in the far end of the room. "What's messed up?" She asked

"I am!" Sadie gestured to her stomach, "THIS is! I could be pregnant and I don't even have a boyfriend!"

"Let's not freak until we know everything for sure." Jude said soothingly, trying to calm Sadie enough to move her outbreak to a more private location

"I'm pretty sure." Sadie sniffled, "And I'm fucked."

"Why?"

"Because, it's not Darius' baby!"

Jude's eyes nearly doubled in size, "WHAT?"

"Well, it might not be Darius'." Sadie corrected mid-blubbering

"Whose could it be?"

Sadie laid her head against Jude's shoulder, her face buried in her hands, "It could be Kwest's."

Another wave of shock rolled through Jude's nerves, leaving her short for breath, "Kwest? How?"

Sadie wiped the mascara streaks from under her eyes, staining her fingertips black, "It's was a one night thing right before you got back from your tour. I saw him at a bar after getting into this huge fight with Darius, we got drunk…" She trailed off with a fresh batch of tears

"Holy shit," Jude breathed, "Sadie – this is so bad."

"I know!" Sadie wailed, sending her into a whole new stage of freak out, "What am I gonna do if it's his? He doesn't want to be with me anymore – I'm going to be a single mother!"

Not knowing what else to do, Jude hugged her sister and tried to dry her face with her fingers, "It'll be okay, Sadie." She whispered, "We'll figure it out."

"But how? I don't want either father to be the father!" Sadie sucked in a hitched breath, "And there's so much GROSS in a pregnancy – I can't be gross! I'm sexy Sadie!"

At that, Jude had to bite back hard against a chuckle rising in her throat, "You'll get your body back."

"I won't have time to get my body back. I'll be too busy being a mom and I'll be living in sweats – I'll give up on style."

"You'll get your style back too."

"Easy for you to say! You don't have one!"

Jude shrugged with a single nod, knowing she really couldn't argue with that one.

"Ah-Hem!" A voice sounded loudly from behind them. Jude unwillingly turned and cringed at the expression of the designer staring back at her. She followed his gaze down to her dress and found several black streaks marking the once snow-white fabric. "Oh," She realized his displeasure and grimaced, "This wouldn't happen to be the sample, would it?"

"I make only one." The designer growled back in a thick French accent

"Ooof course." Jude muttered.

lllllll

"And ten grand later." Jude grumbled, tossing the stained dress within its dress bag into the back seat of Sadie's car.

"I'll pay you back." Sadie said in return, her tone soft and hollow

Jude sighed as she plopped down into the passenger seat, "No, it's alright – I used Tommy's credit card." She added, trying to lighten the mood

Sadie smirked, "Serves him right."

Jude leaned over and enveloped Sadie in another hug, then pulled back to clean up the streaks of Sadie's eyeliner, "Isn't it usually the bride that freaks out while shopping?"

Sadie groaned, "How much of a basket case was I?"

Jude smiled, "They won't be inviting you back any time soon," She joked, stabbing her thumb toward the dress shop, "But it really wasn't that bad – I swear."

Sadie nodded, a tad relieved, "I just…I saw how much in love you were and I missed feeling that…with Kwest."

"But you don't have him anymore." Jude nodded with understanding, "And you're not happy with who you're with – I get it."

"We were happy – Darius and I – it was so good at first."

"What happened?"

"I don't know," Sadie admitted, "He got bored, I guess; he stopped calling, I wasn't a part of his plans anymore, he only ever wanted to talk about work…" She trailed off with a shaky sigh, "Then he said that we weren't exclusive and he wanted us to be casual for a while."

"Why did you stay with him? He's obviously an asshole."

"We had a lot of…chemistry." Sadie said, trying to relay what she meant with a quirk of her eyebrows

"Ew!" Jude squealed, "You stayed with him because the sex was good? Sadie!"

"I know, I know. It's stupid, but," Sadie shrugged, "I wasn't ready to give it up yet."

Jude's nose crinkled in disgust as a ton of unwelcomed images seared into her brain, "So much more information than I ever needed."

"You don't understand," Sadie argued, "You've only been with one guy."

"So? I know what you're doing is stupid."

"But you don't get why. You have no experiences to compare. For me, Darius was the next best thing."

"Second to who?" Jude asked, curious

"Kwest." Sadie sighed, "It's always different when you're in love." She laid her head against the head rest and looked at Jude, "You're so lucky you got it right on the first try."

Jude smiled, "I know how lucky I am."

llllllll

Much later that day, after having spent lunch with Sadie and much of the afternoon in their house, Jude finally returned home. "Tommy!" She called, and got a response immediately from the bedroom

Jude lugged her unwanted wedding gown down the hall and into the bedroom, "Hey, babe." She greeted Tommy, who was seated at his desk

Tommy turned in his chair and eyed the bag Jude carelessly tossed onto the bed, "Is that your dress?"

"Not really." Jude breathed and went to the closet, removing her shoes and blouse, "Technically it is, but I don't want it."

"Uh…explain?"

"Sadie had a bit of a melt down and cried mascara tears all over it." Jude emerged from the closet in a pair of lime green short plaid pajama shorts and a grey t-shirt, "And because she just had to freak in a place that only makes one of everything, I had to buy it – well, you did."

Tommy's eyebrows knitted as she sifted through the information, "Why?"

Jude sighed and plopped down onto the mattress, "Because you're richer than I am."

"No, I mean, why did Sadie have a melt down?"

"I'll tell you later – I'm still reeling from it all."

Tommy briefly returned to the computer and turned it off before joining Jude on the bed, meeting her with a peck on the lips, "Shopping day a bust, huh?"

Jude nodded, "Unfortunately…but not surprisingly." She added thoughtfully

Tommy shoved the dress bag aside and placed Jude's feet in his lap, "How much of a dent did you put in my card?"

Jude pursed her lips, "Probably the most I've ever spent on anything."

"And you didn't even buy it."

"Sure I did!" Jude disagreed with a smile, "What's yours is mine, remember?"

Tommy smiled a little at the thought before his face was taken over with a more serious expression, "Do you feel rushed?" He asked quietly, his gaze on the dress

"Rushed?" Jude questioned, "Into what – marriage?" Tommy nodded. Jude sat up, "No, why?"

"I was talking to Kwest earlier," Tommy explained, "And you came up and he mentioned that it was a little…soon for us to be getting married. Everyone's been saying that, come to think of it."

"Do you agree with him?"

"For you? Yes."

Jude's brow furrowed over a set of concerned eyes, "Are you saying you don't want to get married?"

"No, not at all." Tommy immediately clarified, "I'm worried that you feel rushed or that you'll regret it later. I mean, you're only nineteen."

"Since when do we care about my age?"

Tommy only shrugged in reply, his face drawn downward.

Jude moved closer to him, "Where's this coming from, Tommy?"

Ignoring the question, Tommy further elaborated what his initial meaning, "With all that's happened between us, and everything we've overcome, I thought marriage was the next natural step. But I don't want you to marry me because you think you have to, or whatever."

Jude shook her head with confusion; Why is everyone on a crazy pill today? she thought, taking Tommy's hand in her own, "I don't have to do anything," She said firmly, "I don't think it's soon at all – like you said, this has been waiting to happen forever." She turned Tommy's face toward her, and was happy to see he wasn't at all guarded, "Where is this coming from?" She asked again

"Tristan mentioned something about it," Tommy sighed, "I wanted to make sure he was wrong."

"He said I wanted to marry you because I – what? – feel sorry for you or something?" Jude rolled her eyes, "You know better than that." She tucked herself under Tommy's arm, "You deserve so much better than what you have." She breathed sadly, "A better family."

Tommy rested his head atop Jude's, his arms wounding tight around her.

Jude glanced up at him and pressed her lips softly to his, "I'm marrying you because I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life right here," She snuggled closer to his side, "And I'll marry you right now to prove it."

Tommy smiled at the tempting thought, "Really?"

"Yes. You need to stop listening to them – I mean, consider the source - they're nuts."

Tommy smirked softly, "My brother's not so bad."

"I bet he is." Jude mumbled under her breath

"I'm scared." Tommy admitted aloud a few moments later

"Of what?"

"My past – that it'll catch up with me. That I'll hurt you, lose you."

Jude tilted her head up, meeting his gaze straight on, "Your past isn't chasing you Tommy, it's gone." She shook her head, knowing that all this is coming from all the contact he's been having with his brother lately, "You can't change it - so let it go."

"I thought I did." Tommy whispered, "But all this stuff with my mom…and just thinking about going back there freaks me out."

"You don't have to." Jude told him firmly, "As hard as it seems, you can move on, Tommy. You're going to have a new family, one that loves you." She laid his hand flat against her abdomen, implying the children to come

"Jude," Tommy said softly, the look of heartbreak on his features, "I have to go – I don't have a choice."

"But Tommy –"

"It'll only a couple days, I swear."

"You said yesterday that you weren't going. What changed?"

"My brother needs me."

"He can find someone else."

"It doesn't work like that. Family is family, no matter what."

Jude swallowed hard against the lump threatening to grow, "Some family," She scoffed, "They're horrible to you, Tommy." She ran her hand down the length of his arm, "Just promise me you'll reconsider before you decide, okay?"

"I will." Another long stretch of silence later, Tommy nudged Jude's side, "Would you really fly to Vegas right now if I asked you to?"

Jude forced a smile, "Vegas?" She waved the thought off, "Why waste time? I'll call Pagan and have him marry us in the living room if you asked me to."

Tommy chuckled, "I love you."

"I love you more."

"That's not possible."

"I disagree."

Tommy rolled his eyes, "Of course you do." His lips descended upon hers in a devouring kiss that made Jude weak under his touch. Just as Tommy was beginning to lay Jude back, there was a brief knock on the door, before it came open. "Who's that?" Tommy asked, breathing heavily

Jude offered an apologetic smile, "Did I forget to mention that Sadie's staying with us tonight?"

"Uh, yeah."

Jude sat up and pecked his lips, "Sorry, babe. She needs to."

"Why?"

"Uh, well, long story short, your best friend might be a father."

"What?" Tommy demanded, now calling after her

"Yeah…it's kind of a funny story…"


	23. Chapter 23

"I still don't understand why she's here." Tommy grumbled unhappily as he helped Jude set up the pull-out couch in the living room, "Can't she go home and come back in the morning?"

Jude left the room momentarily to retrieve a set of spare sheets from the laundry room, returning with a quiet sigh, catching Tommy's eye with an understanding nod, "I know she's been horrible, but she's trying to change and she really, really needs me…Please, Tommy – behave?"

Tommy eyed her begging features with a defeated mumble; he really couldn't say no sometimes. "Fine."

Jude grinned and proceeded to make up the mattress with minimal help from Tommy who tried to remain straight faced about the situation. Sadie's recent strides to be more accepting just didn't seem like enough reason to trust her yet. He couldn't let go of all the stress Sadie's put on Jude and their relationship; not to mention all the daily put downs he's dealt with for months. On the other hand, however, reason would vouch that it would be better to mend the broken ties before he and Jude were married so it can officially be considered the past by then. Tommy begrudgingly dug a blanket from the top shelf of the hall closet and handed it over to Jude, thinking also that Sadie is Jude's sister. Who is he to say Jude can't have her over for the night?

"You are one distracted guy." Jude commented as she sunk down to the plush carpet in front of the fireplace, motioning for him to join her. Tommy sat in front of her, watching as she leaned over to light the fire. "What's on your mind?" she asked

Tommy shrugged, "A lot."

Jude pursed her lips, her knees going up to rest against her chest, "If it's really a big deal-"

"It's not." Tommy interrupted, "Really. I just need to remember it's not just my place anymore, it's yours too."

Jude furrowed her eyebrows, her gaze drifting to the first curls of smoke gathering around the growing flame, "What do you mean?"

Tommy smirked, "It's a space issue. It took me a year to get used to having you around - and I _love_ you…I don't even like Sadie."

"Oh," Jude realized, than breathed a quiet laugh, "What is it with your territory issues?"

"I'm working on it." Tommy muttered in return

Jude moved close enough to turn Tommy's face back to her, her fingers brushing along his cheek with a feather-light touch, "Thanks for making me the only exception to your wackiness."

Tommy chuckled, "I didn't really have a choice – you forced your way in." He tenderly tucked a stray hair behind her ear and cupped his hand behind her neck. Before he could accomplish his mission of kissing her, Sadie's voice was suddenly behind him, "Sorry, am I interrupting something?"

"Yes." Tommy hissed under his breath while Jude smiled and said, "No."

Sadie sat on the pull out and resumed pulling a towel through her wet hair, her body wrapped in Jude's bath robe, "I'm in love with your fireplace." She told Jude, who was extracting herself from Tommy's hold. Tommy stood soon after and plopped down on the sofa, "Does Kwest know you might be pregnant?" he asked Sadie

"No," Sadie sighed, "Darius doesn't know either."

Tommy offered a judgmental eye roll, recalling all the grief Sadie gave Jude over her potential pregnancy. At least Jude knew who the father was. "How will you know who the father is?"

"Timing," Sadie answered innocently, unaware of the bite hidden in Tommy's tone, "I'll know by how far along I am – or might be."

Jude watched Tommy's expression carefully, silently warning him with her eyes to calm down. He nodded once in response. "I'm gonna go finish up some stuff." He announced, happy to have work waiting as an excuse to be away from Sadie.

"What do you want to order for dinner?" Jude called after him

"Whatever you want." Tommy called over his shoulder before shutting himself in their bedroom

Jude sighed, "Did you really have to be so rotten to him?" She snapped at Sadie

"Yes." Sadie spat immediately, "He didn't get anything he didn't deserve." She laid the towel on her lap and pulled her hair up into a messy, damp bun.

Jude removed a stack of takeout menus from a drawer in the kitchen and gave them to Sadie, "Pick one." She lied down on the pull out, draping an arm over her stomach, "How did this happen, anyway? Weren't you and Darius using protection?"

Sadie pulled over a pillow and laid on her side, facing Jude, her eyes on a takeout menu from a Mexican restaurant down the street, "Condom broke."

Jude grimaced, "And Kwest?"

"Too drunk to remember the condom." Sadie shook her head, "I'm such an idiot."

Jude shrugged indifferently, "Not really. Tommy and I had the same problem a few days ago."

Sadie's eye brows rose with excited curiosity, "Really? You've got a maybe baby too?"

"I guess."

Sadie giggled, "Wouldn't it be crazy if we were both pregnant?"

Jude's eyes widened at the thought, "Oh my God," She exclaimed with a laugh, "I didn't even think of that!"

"Can you imagine how dad will react?"

"He'd go nuts."

"No doubt." Sadie said, the smile slowly falling from her face. Noticing this, Jude took Sadie's hand in her own, "I'm here for you, Sade. No matter the outcome."

Visually, Sadie's emotions came to rest on her features as she fought a sudden lump in her throat, "I don't know what I'm going to do." She whispered, "There's never been anything that I couldn't handle until now, and it scares me."

"Of course you can handle it." Jude encouraged, "You're you."

Sadie shook her head, "That's not meaning a whole lot these days."

"What do you mean? Sadie, you're incredible."

"Yeah, I'm the incredible unmarried, single mother who still lives at home." Sadie bit sarcastically

"You don't know that for sure," Jude pointed out, "But if anyone can pull it off, it's you." Jude said, offering a smile, "And just because you're single, doesn't mean you're alone." She gave Sadie's hand a reassuring squeeze, "I'm here for you. Always."

Sadie smiled, "Thanks, Jude."


	24. Chapter 24

You don't have to go if you don't want to, Tommy." Jude said quietly, avoiding his eyes by focusing hers on her fingers as she finished up a verse in her journal

"It's not that easy." Tommy insisted as he pulled his t-shirt over his head and lobbed it toward the hamper

"It really is." Jude murmured in return, just soft enough for Tommy to miss

"And what else can I do? If I'm not there my mother will be there alone."

Jude rolled her eyes and shifted her attention to the guitar in her lap, "She won't be alone – her alcohol can keep her company."

Only barely able to make out what she said, Tommy sighed and sat on the bed, facing her, "I hate it when you mumble…especially since it's usually something about me."

Jude smoothed back a hair that had fallen from her ponytail and finally looked up to capture Tommy's gaze, "It's nothing about you." She clarified

Tommy turned Jude's journal around so he could read what she's been writing and wordlessly held out his hand for the pencil. Jude handed it over and sighed, "And I'm only mumbling because you're not listening to me."

Tommy scrubbed out the first line of the second verse with the eraser and replaced it with his own, "Sure I am."

"You're not," Jude said, "You're shooting down everything I say. I don't understand why you won't listen to common sense – no I don't like that." She said suddenly, taking the pencil back and erasing what Tommy added

"I know that you're right." Tommy admitted, "I just don't know how to do what you're saying."

"You don't know how to say no to your brother?" Jude asked with a shake of her head, "But you so easily say no to me when I ask you to stay."

Tommy took the pencil back and placed her journal in his lap to finish what he started writing, "I never said no."

"You haven't said yes, either." Jude pointed out, than with a scoff, "Oh, that's right, you did – now you're taking it back."

"This will be the last time I go, okay?"

Jude set her acoustic aside and stood, "Why can't you call that nurse and ask her to look after your mother?"

"That's just not the way it works, babe. I'm her son; it's my responsibility to care for her."

Jude reseated herself on the bed, taking the journal from Tommy's lap and regaining his attention, "What about your responsibility to me?" She asked, "What if you go and never come back?"

Tommy's head tilted slightly to the side with a soft expression, "That's not going to happen – it's only for the weekend."

Jude moved closer to Tommy and gently gathered his hands within hers, "I admire your loyalty," She said, "I really do. And I love that family means so much to you, but what you have isn't a family, Tommy."

"They're all I have."

"That's not a reason to jump whenever they need something." Jude's eyes locked on his, trying to convey reason, "Just a few months ago you were gone and ready to never go back. Why can't you see that now?"

Tommy shook his head, not really having an answer for her other than, "It's only a couple days."

"But a couple days can turn into weeks. What if your brother stays away longer, or your mother does something horrible?"

"You don't have to about it – it's my family, my problem."

Jude's eyes narrowed with offence, a look of pain coming to her features.

"What?"

"What happened to our?" Jude asked, "Tommy, we're getting married. You can't just write everything off as being your business anymore."

Tommy frowned, "But it is my problem."

"No, it's our problem. Don't you think this affects me at all?"

"I don't know why it would."

Jude winced, "Because I love you." She answered as if it should be obvious, "And I'm worried about you. Is this how it's going to be for the rest of our lives – every time your brother calls, you're going to be gone?"

"No," Tommy shook his head, "This is the last time, Jude, I swear."

"Every time will be the last time." Jude spat, and then shifted her gaze to her lap, her eyes rimmed with moisture, "I don't want you to go, Tommy."

Tommy bit down on the inside of his lip, reminded of how much pain this caused Jude. He reached over and pulled Jude into his lap. Placing a hand on the side of her face, Tommy pulled her close, pressing his lips to her cheek, "This will be the last time, I swear – I'll swear by anything you want." He wrapped his arms tight around her

Jude looked up at his face, seeing a true sincerity there, "A couple days?" She squeaked

"Forty-eight hours. Not a minute more."

Jude sniffled, resting her head on his shoulder, "Not a second more." She corrected

With one arm secured around her torso, cradling her to his chest, Tommy brought the other hand up to place gently on Jude's face. "Everything's going to be fine." He assured

Jude wiped the few tears that fell and unwrapped herself from Tommy's arms.

"Where are you going?" Tommy asked

"Living room" Jude said, grabbing a pillow from the head of the bed

"Why?"

"I told Sadie I'd stay with her tonight."

"It's after midnight – she's already asleep."

Jude shrugged, "So?"

Tommy sighed and stood, suspecting that Jude's main reason for leaving the room was to be away from him. He caught her by the arm and ducked his head to press his lips softly to hers in a loving kiss, "Stay with me – let's talk more."

"I'm talked out." Jude replied and without giving Tommy a chance to respond, left the room.

Tommy watched her retreating figure with a sigh, "Fuck."


	25. Chapter 25

Tommy stirred early the next morning in response to the freshly risen sun peering light into the bedroom; Jude was always the one to remember shutting the blinds. He sighed and turned away from the offending light, finding the bed next to him empty. With the semi argument from the night before on his mind, Tommy frowned. He hated fighting with Jude. Granted, it was more of a discussion than a fight, but it surely ended like one, and left him the hesitant feeling he always got when he was uncertain on whether Jude was mad at him.

Although Tommy had a firm understanding that the fact they were on weird terms was his fault - he did promise her something, than take it back – his anger shifted to his family. He hated that his brother, still, had such a pull with him. He knew Jude was right, he knows it isn't healthy to continue going when called to a place he would never voluntarily visit. If it wasn't for his brother, he wouldn't have ever gone back…and he honestly doesn't have an intention of doing so after this weekend; he just had to convince Jude of that.

As he was beginning to get out of bed, Tommy stilled at the sound of footsteps coming down the hall. He knew it was Jude, and was expecting her entrance but all she did was reach an arm in and shut the door before proceeding back into the living room.

lllllll

"What's wrong?" Sadie asked, watching Jude from her place at the table as Jude returned to the sink

"I don't want to wake Tommy up," Jude answered, digging a fresh sponge from the bottom cupboard, "He's been working a lot lately."

Sadie crossed her legs, her shoulders rising a little in an indifferent shrug, "Not more than usual."

Jude paused, ready to correct Sadie, but quickly remembered Tommy's work on his own music is still a secret. "He hasn't been sleeping much lately."

Sadie smirked, "How nice for you."

Jude half-smiled, her hands busy scrubbing the grease from a fry pan, "It really is."

At that Sadie grimaced and resumed reading the back label of the pregnancy test box in her hands, "Lucky you – I never got that much attention from Tommy."

Jude breathed a somewhat embarrassed laugh, "And this conversation ends there."

"Not willing to compare experiences, huh?"

"Uh, no." Jude said with a slight crumple of her nose, "I really try not to think about you two."

"It is kind of funny, though." Said murmured thoughtfully, "My ex is your fiancé. Who'd have thought that after all the years I spent with Lil Tommy Q on my wall, he'd end up with my little sister?"

Jude smirked, "I remember Jamie and I using your Boyzattack posters for dartboards."

Sadie giggled, "Oh yeah – Tommy's face was the bullseye."

Jude shook her head, her mind overwhelmed with past memories, "So much has changed since then."

"I would hope so." A third voice chimed in from down the hall, followed by the appearance of Tommy, "Or do you still use my face for a dartboard?"

Jude shrugged, "I don't know – give me a dart."

Tommy's jaw dropped with faux offence as he approached her.

Sadie watched through the kitchen doorway as Tommy wrapped his arms around Jude from behind and whispered something in her ear. Jude seemed resistant at first, but eventually answered what he asked with a quiet, "No, I'm not mad." Their eyes meant for a moment, flowing with a silent conversation that had Sadie feeling like she was intruding on something private. Before she looked away, though, Tommy broke the gaze and wordlessly turned Jude in his arms and enveloped her in a tight embrace.

Jude's arms locked securely around Tommy's neck, her eyes falling closed in the comfort of his arms. She sighed in contentment and pulled back to peck his lips. Tommy smiled and dropped his hands to rest on her hips, "No darts." He said dismissively

Jude rolled her eyes, breathing out a defeated, "Fiiiine."

Tommy lingered in the kitchen to pour himself a cup of coffee while Jude joined Sadie at the table. "You seem so happy." Sadie told Jude quietly, an underline longing in her tone

"I am." Jude smiled in return and took the pregnancy test from Sadie, "Ready yet?"

Sadie sighed and shook her head no.

Jude nodded and dropped the box to the table, reaching to grab the bag it came in, "Did you load up on candy bars or something?" She joked, noticing the bag wasn't empty

"Not exactly."

"Uh…Sade? Why do you have two pregnancy tests?"

Sadie offered a guilty smile, "You mentioned yesterday that you had a maybe baby, so I figured you could take one too."

"Wait – you bought those this morning?" Tommy called from the kitchen. Jude turned partially in her chair, nodded when Tommy looked at her, "Sadie went to the drug store a little while ago." She shifted her attention back to Sadie, "But our maybe baby wouldn't be showing up on any tests yet - it only happened last week."

"It couldn't hurt to check."

"Yeah." Tommy agreed eagerly, "You never know."

Jude shot him a you're-not-helping glance over her shoulder, "No, no. You can't try to get the attention off yourself by putting spot light on me." She shrugged, "And besides, I'm not pregnant."

"Then you have nothing to worry about." Sadie countered

Tommy came back into view then, taking the seat as furthest away from Sadie with a bowl of cereal in hand. The second he settled, then tension in the room multiplied considerably. Sadie and Tommy pointedly paid no attention to each other, casting snide looks when the other wasn't looking. Jude rolled her eyes, "C'mon, guys. Can't we get along?"

"No." Sadie answered curtly and swiftly stood from the table, taking her test with her

Jude sighed, "She's such a Sadie sometimes."

"Tell me about it."

Jude followed Sadie to the guest bathroom and waited outside until Sadie hesitantly opened the door to let her in. "Five minutes." She said

Jude smiled with understanding, "Feels like forever doesn't it?"

"Very much so."

Jude gave Sadie a reassuring hug and led her away from the bathroom, "Trust me, it's better not to watch it the whole time." She led Sadie to the living room and onto the pullout bed, "It'll be fine." She promised, "No matter what."

Sadie frowned, "I don't even know where Darius is at anymore."

Jude turned to face her sister, bringing her legs up on the mattress, "What do to mean?"

"I can't tell what's happening in his head anymore, he's all over the place."

Jude nodded, knowing that feeling all too well, "Then you need to get him to stand still."

"How?"

"Tell him you're pregnant, for one."

"Might be pregnant. Nothing's certain yet."

"What about Kwest," Jude asked, "What are the odds of him being the dad?"

"Slim." Sadie admitted solemnly, "I guess it depends on how far along I am."

Jude glanced at the clock, taking note of the time, "Well, if it makes you feel any better, I don't think Kwest would mind if you were pregnant."

"What makes you think that?" Sadie asked, her eyes lit

Jude leaned in, speaking quietly, "Kwest told Tommy he's been missing you a lot."

Grinning, Sadie breathed in a surprised breath, "Really?"

Jude nodded, "Yeah. Apparently you left quite the impression when you were with him last."

"And he told Tommy this?"

"Yup. But you didn't hear it from me." Jude added, "I don't know if I'm allowed to tell you or not."

"Allowed." Sadie scoffed, "Who cares what Tommy thinks?"

Jude pursed her lips, "Are you ever gonna give him a break?" She demanded, "You just said I seemed happy – Tommy's the reason for that."

"You don't understand." Sadie said, "I saw what he did to you, and I will always try to protect you from it."

"Tommy's not the enemy."

"Not now."

"Not ever." Jude wrapped both her arms around Sadie's upper arm, "Can't you see how much he loves me?"

"I guess." Sadie grumbled

"And can't you tell that I love him?"

"I can, actually." Sadie said matter-of-factly, "You're like a drooling dog – it's disgusting." She smiled, nudging Jude's side

Jude grinned, "So, for my sake, can you please be nice to Tommy?"

"I'll be civil."

"Civil is not good enough."

"I'll be decent."

"That's better, thank you."

Sadie offered a soft smile, reaching up to pat Jude's arm, "He really does love you, though."

Jude grinned cockily, "I know." She checked the time again, and tightened her grip on Sadie's arm, "Five minutes."

"Already?" Sadie demanded desperately, "I can't look."

"Want me to look?"

"No." Sadie sucked in a panicked breath, "Go take yours first."

"What good is that going to do?"

"It'll delay me at least another five minutes." Sadie pleaded, "Please, Jude?"

Jude raised her hands in surrender and stood, "Fine. But I'm just humoring you with this, you know."

A few minutes later, Jude and Tommy were sitting in nearly the exact same positions they were in the first time Jude took her pregnancy test, only far less stressed on Jude's part. Jude crossed her legs, feeling uncomfortable on the edge of the tub, "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." Tommy answered immediately

"If I wanted to, would you let me go with you? To New Brunswick?"

"W-what?" Tommy stuttered, taken off guard and wondering why pregnancy tests seemed to trigger the worst conversations from Jude, "Where'd that come from?"

Jude shrugged, "I've been thinking about it. I really don't want you to go alone…and I want to meet your brother."

"You do?"

"Sure. He's your brother; he's your…family." Jude forced the last word out due to lack of a better one. "And I want to be part of it."

Tommy hesitated for a long moment, considering what his answer should be, verses what he wanted to say.

Jude's gaze fell to meet her clasped hands, "But I'll only go if you say I can – no way am I making that mistake again."

"Well, I guess." Tommy decided, "I didn't think you'd want to, so I didn't ask."

"I…want to." Jude forced her most believable smile, knowing that if she told him she wanted to go solely because she was worried about him, he'd dispute it.

Another hesitation forced the room around them into silence before Tommy finally spoke up, "If you want to come, I won't stop you." He smiled, "Maybe I'll show you around my town the right way this time." He added, trying to be optimistic

"Okay, good." Jude breathed out, honestly feeling a little apprehensive herself, but a little relieved that she won't be suffering while Tommy's away.

Jude stood and grabbed her pregnancy test off the counter, careful not to look at the results. "Okay, Sadie." She called down the hall, Tommy closely following, "No more procrastinating!"

Sadie met them in the guest bathroom, and picked up her test as well, "Same time?"

"Sure."

With a silent count to three, Said unveiled her result and gasped a massive breath of relief, "Not pregnant. Thank God!"

With Tommy standing right in front of her, Jude checked her result, and then furrowed her brow, a look of confusion on her face.

"What's the matter?" Tommy asked, "What's it say?"

Jude met his eyes with a steady gaze, "I….am."


	26. Chapter 26

"I'm pregnant?" The words slipped from Jude's lips, the confusion in her voice causing it to rise a few octaves

"You are?" Sadie and Tommy demanded simultaneously, only Tommy's demand was more of an excited exclamation

With a questioning furrow of her brow, Jude shook her head, "No."

Tommy's expression mirrored Jude's "No?"

"I can't be."

Tommy took the test from her and read the results himself, "This says you are."

"But…I can't be." Jude repeated, her features still submerged in confusion

"Why not?" Tommy asked, somewhat flustered by her lack of a reaction similar to his, "it's certainly a possibility."

"Well, yeah...but it takes a while to conceive, doesn't it?"

"Maybe the last test was a false negative." Sadie suggested with a carefree shrug, happily dropping her negative test results into the trash

"But you said it was the most accurate one." Jude argued

"Yeah," Tommy added sourly, "To be sure on whether I ruined her life, remember?"

"Sadie!" Jude hissed, appalled, "You said that?"

Sadie shrugged unremorsefully and flitted passed them, ignoring Jude's disapproval all together, "These are actually more effective than the one I got you. And since I'm not pregnant, I'm celebrating with wine." She gleefully left the room

Jude rolled her eyes after her.

Tommy recaptured her gaze with a smile, "We better get you to a doctor, huh?"

"I guess." Jude exhaled as she began to process news she hadn't been expecting at all.

Seeing the wheels turning in her brain, Tommy smirked, and place his hands on either side of her face, "Do we have to speculate now? Can't we just be happy about this?"

Happy?

Jude's calculative eyes met his soft, joyful ones with an inquiring tilt of her head. She honestly wasn't sure if there was anything to be happy about yet. The numbers just didn't seem to add up; if Sadie was right and the last test was a false negative, than she's been pregnant for a while, and as suspected, all the strange mood swings really were tribute to her pregnancy. However, she hasn't felt pregnant at all lately. No sickness, no odd cravings, no more moody than usual – she wasn't even sure if she was late yet, though she's always been horrible with keeping up with her period.

"Jude." Tommy's voice brought her from her thoughts, soothing and assuring as it was, "You're pregnant." He felt the need to inform her, hoping it'll help it sink in

A tentative smile began to bloom at his words. A baby – if there is one – is currently resting securely inside her. "Wow." She breathed, placing her hand on her flat stomach, "I'm pregnant." She grinned up at Tommy, "We're pregnant!" She eagerly enveloped him in her arms.

However it happened, a baby is a baby, and of course this was something to be thrilled about. "You're always a step ahead of me." She breathed out with a soft chuckle

Tommy pulled back only enough to press his forehead against hers, "Always have been." He smiled

"You two are cute – I'll give you that." Sadie said from the door way, a glass of wine in hand

Jude sighed, and loosened her grip on Tommy, "Don't you think it's a little early for alcohol?"

"I stopped drinking the moment I thought I might be pregnant," Sadie defended herself halfheartedly, "So I'm celebrating my empty oven with a drink."

Tommy rolled his eyes and released Jude with a kiss to her forehead, "I'm going to get dressed."

"Kay, babe." Jude watched him leave with a purse of her lips, "You're not allowed to be mean to him ever again." She hissed to Sadie as she passed her in the hallway

"Okay, geez." Sadie griped "Excuse me for looking out for you."

Jude gathered her laptop from the coffee table and brought it to the dining room, where she settled to look up OB/GYNs nearby. Sadie sat in the chair next to her, swirling the wine in her glass, "How far along do you think you are?" she asked curiously

Jude shrugged, "I have no idea."

"OB/GYNs usually don't ask to see you until you're eight weeks."

Jude eyed Sadie's drink as she considered the timeline. "Oh God." She said suddenly, "I've been drinking this whole time."

"How much?"

"Not a lot – but I was drunk that other night."

Sadie set her glass aside with a very serious expression, jumping to defuse the panic in Jude's eyes, "Okay, don't panic. I'm sure everything's fine. Don't jump to any conclusions until you see the doctor."

Jude nodded, resuming her attention to the computer screen. "You're right."

Sadie watched Jude sort through a list of doctors based on recommendations as she finished off her wine, "Why don't you just go to your regular doctor?"

Jude shook her head, "She's too flakey – she'll spill the news to the press."

Sadie cocked an eyebrow, "Oh, well if that's what you're worried about, I have a doctor for you." She reached over and took the laptop from Jude, "I had to get one of Darius' finalists to an OB last week on the down low."

"What for?"

"She's thought Brendon got her pregnant – he didn't." Sadie added quickly, "But the doc's a real pro on press."

"Brendon?" Jude questioned

Sadie nodded, "He's been a real player. Darius is considering cutting him because he keeps breaking the no dating rule."

Jude's head tilted with a knitted brow, "He's dating you." She pointed out

"Yeah, but he's the boss." Sadie shrugged, "And besides, the rule is more for artists, anyway."

Jude pursed her lips, idly biting the inner side of lip, wondering why it would bother her if Brendon wasn't around anymore.

lllllllll

About an hour later, Jude and Tommy were on their way out the door to meet the doctor Sadie found who has experience working with celebrities and knows how to keep her mouth shut; a bonus Jude thought absolutely necessary. Last thing she wanted was an exposé of her pregnancy for the media to have a field day over. Tommy, on the other hand, didn't see the major issue in the world finding out – they were going to find out eventually, anyway.

"I just want us to enjoy this as long as we can…you know, before the vultures find out." Jude murmured softly as she examined her reflection in the full length mirror, waiting for Tommy to finish his hair

Tommy shrugged in response. He honestly didn't care who knew, or what the media would have to say about it. Nothing anyone says could defuse how happy he is for the unexpected news.

The tragic loss of their first baby seriously put life in prospective for him, helped him shove aside his ridiculous tentative nature toward Jude. He realizes now, for certain, that Jude is the one for him and with that knowledge came all the things he's always wanted with Jude - the he's been denying himself for fear of hurting her, or vice versa – and marriage and a baby topped that list immediately. He's determined to do things right this time, and giving up all the superficial aspects of his life before Jude seemed so much more of a blessing than the huge sacrifice it appeared to be years ago.

Tommy glanced over his shoulder and smirked at Jude, "What are you doing?"

Jude turned to the side, her eyes boring into her own reflection, "Wondering how I'd look with a hung stomach."

Seeing the worry creasing her features, Tommy smile reassuringly, "You'll be beautiful no matter what."

"Yeah, try telling that to all the media who's gonna be criticizing my every ounce."

Tommy rolled his eyes and came up behind her, "Who cares what they think?" He placed both his hands over her bare stomach, dropping a kiss on her shoulder

Jude put her hands over his and smiled, comforted "I shouldn't."

"Nope."

Jude turned in his grip, her arms moving up to drape on his shoulders, "We're happy, right?"

Tommy grinned, gently bumping his nose against hers, "We're thrilled."

Tommy's eyes adverted from hers to look at something behind her. She sighed, "You're checking out my ass in the mirror, aren't you?" His hands suddenly slipped into the back pockets of her tight black jeans with a shameless quirk of his eyebrow. "You're such a guy." She muttered, than chuckled, "Enjoy it while you have it – soon it'll be huge."

lllllll

Having left a few minutes prior, Sadie successfully distracted loitering cameramen across the street by baiting them with an exclusive inside scoop on the Instant Star competition. They swarmed her just long enough for Jude and Tommy to make a getaway in yet another new car of Tommy's; the Chevy Avalanche. Following the long list of pricey, small speedy cars, Jude found this decision odd but Tommy was fond of the look of it. "I miss your bike." Jude commented casually

The thought of his old bike, paired with him being behind the wheel of a truck reminded him of something he'd forgotten about months ago, "What happened to the ones I bought us - They're still in your garage, right?" He added hopefully, prematurely making plans to get back to work on them

Jude winced guiltily, casting her gaze out the window, "Not so much."

"Where are they?"

"…Probably making some guy very happy."

Tommy's head snapped in her direction, "You got rid of them?"

Jude bit her lip and nodded, "Sold them."

"To who?"

Jude shrugged, unable to recall his name, "A very nice man in overalls."

"Ah, Jude!" Tommy complained disapprovingly

"They were a huge reminder of our breakup!" Jude defended

Tommy groaned, "But did you have to get rid of them?"

"Yes." Jude answered matter-of-factly with a defensive cross of her arms

Tommy sighed, "It's not a big deal," He concluded, "I'll just get us new ones."

Jude muttered something indistinct about frivolous spending and messy breakups before reaching back to pull on her seatbelt.

Once they were at their destination the conversation had turned to less painful topics and they exited the car smiling. The building before them was small and conspicuous, painted a business-like light brown that would leave little guessing it to be the home of an Obstetrician's office.

"Sadie's right." Tommy said as they approached the large glass door, "It is private."

Jude turned to examine their downtown surroundings. Most of the buildings towering the street didn't seem to involve the same excitement that populated the rest of the town; the sidewalks were nearly empty. "And creepy." Jude added

Tommy agreed with a single nod of his head as he held the door for Jude. A large sign greeted them immediately, containing several lists of people – few of which had Dr. before their name – and where to find them. The rest of the polished lobby, however, was unoccupied by anything other than a set of elevators. "And the creepiness continues." Tommy said, reaching to his right to summon the elevator

"No kidding." Jude breathed a quiet laugh, "But if private's what you want, this is what you get."

Jude exhaled a small sigh of relief to find the room waiting behind a frosted glass door belonging to a Dr. Chelsea Fondman to be filled with several people, starting with a friendly receptionist who handed Jude a chart and an expensive pen and kindly requested they take a seat. "Better." Jude whispered

"Definitely."

Of the three other people that littered the waiting area, Jude choose a seat that resided closely to a large pot blooming with real flowers, hoping it'll help diminish that odd smell that came with doctors' offices, no matter the profession. The immediate put off to the smell certainly made her feel pregnant – it never bothered her so much before.

Tommy draped his arm along the back of Jude's chair, watching a woman try to rally her son into a chair while filling out a chart of her own. The woman caught eyes with him momentarily and she offered an appraising smirk.

"Even pregnant women…" Jude mumbled sourly, glancing up to shoot possessive daggers at the woman, but was a second late

"Can't help it," Tommy remarked cockily, "The Quincy charm doesn't discriminate."

Jude gave an over dramatic roll of her eyes and resumed filling out her chart. Sadly, she checked yes in response to History of miscarriages?. The word still made her wince. It forced her to remember so much that she wished so badly would just be wiped from her memory. Despite her struggles, they never went away fully…and she was planning to return to the place where it all came. She sighed quietly to herself, not really seeing much of a task in going to New Brunswick – she'd do anything for Tommy, whether he knew it was for him or not – it's the effects it'll have on her afterward that worries her.

The wait was short, probably because Sadie set up the appointment with a sense of urgency that she explained would mean it was for an important patient. But none the less, they were brought into an office that was both large enough and equipped to double as a small daycare. A pile of toys bloated from under a lid of a wooden chest, the floor of the play area covered with a colorful mat consisting of interlocking pieces. The opposing side of the office however, was all business. Fake plants flocked either side of a large desk from the corners, in between resided a ceiling high shelving structure that held various cubbies of different sized and lengths, all containing framed pictures and books.

Chelsea flitted in right behind them, her brunette hair pulled back into a high ponytail of thick curls that bounced as she walked ahead of them and gestured them to take a seat, "Jude Harrison." she said through a wide smile, her tone impressed

Jude took a seat in a chair that was ten times more comfortable than it looked, "As you live and breathe." She said quietly, a smile of her own spurring in reaction to Chelsea's

"And Tommy Quincy," Chelsea continued "Canada's most talked about couple." She reined in her excitement and composed a far more professional expression around her smile, "What can I do for you today?"

"I just found out I'm pregnant and wanted to make sure all's well."

"Congratulations." Chelsea pulled Jude's chart in front of her and glanced it over quickly, "You're unsure as to how far along you are." She stated, than looked back up to Jude, "Any idea?"

"Not really."

"No problem," Chelsea waved it off and transferred the paper from Jude's chart to a file, "How many previous miscarriages have you had?"

"One." Jude answered simply, quietly

"And that was from a first pregnancy?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, well, it's good that you came in so soon. Usually I don't ask to see patients until eight weeks, but with history of miscarriages I like to monitor them a little more closely."

Jude shifted uncomfortably in her seat, her hand releasing Tommy's to clasp with the other in her lap, "What do you mean?"

Chelsea set Jude's file aside and leaned her elbows on the desk, "Just that with cases such as yours the odds of miscarriage isn't as slim as we'd like them to be."

"What are the odds?"

"Jude." Tommy intervened, shaking his head; he didn't want her psych herself out over numbers

Glancing between the couple, Chelsea carried on cautiously, "There're only a bit higher than it would be for anyone else. Miscarriage is very common in the first trimester."

"It is?" Jude asked, a slight edge of worry in her tone, "But I miscarried under completely different terms – I didn't even know I was pregnant."

"I didn't mean to startle you, sweetie," Chelsea said soothingly, "My extra caution is only to make sure baby's alright every step of the way, and by no means should be something to be concerned about. Trust me, that'll be the most pampered unborn baby that ever lived."

Tommy watched in astonishment as Chelsea's calm tactic worked on Jude immediately. She leaned back in her chair, satisfied and listened as Chelsea reviewed a few minor things before they were led to a medical office with an ultrasound machine.

"Okay, dad," Chelsea addressed Tommy while Jude settled on the paper-covered bed near the machine, her clothes arranged to expose her abdomen, "I'm going to need you up by mom's head, okay?"

Tommy happily took his place and gathered Jude's hand, grinning down at her. Jude returned the gesture whole heartedly, thoroughly pleased to see Tommy so happy.

A few minutes ticked sluggishly by while Chelsea drug the scope along Jude's abdomen, her eyes drawn to the ultrasound screen, "We might need to go the more invasive route," She murmured mostly to herself, but let out a tiny peel of joy when she finally saw it, "Oh! There it is." While Jude and Tommy tried to make out just what they were looking at, Chelsea spoke again, "You're just about six weeks – see that there?" Her unpolished finger nail circled a small round object on the screen, "Baby's about the size of a peanut right now – and that there," She tapped on a vague flickering, "That's the heartbeat."

Jude had to squint to see it, but once she did, her body welled with happiness, "Awww – there she is."

Chelsea busied herself with saving images to print out and smiled up at Jude, "Hoping for a girl?"

Jude nodded, "A little, but I don't care as long as it's healthy."

"You've got a very healthy baby. Heart rate's perfect – she's the perfect size, too."

Tommy smiled affectionately, unable to take his eyes off the heartbeat, "Our little peanut."

Jude giggled in response, her attention shifting back to Chelsea, "About six weeks, you said?" Chelsea nodded. "I had quite a few drinks the other night – before I knew – do you think it hurt the baby?"

"Have you had any drinks since then?"

"No."

"It should be fine, just make sure you don't drink anymore."

Jude grinned, relieved.

Chelsea removed the scope from Jude's abdomen and turned the lights back on, "I always recommend that both parents give up drinking – it's helps mom feel more supported. So, dad, I think it'd be best if you lay off as well."

"Yeah, dad." Jude muttered teasingly to Tommy

Tommy rolled his eyes but the smile never left his face. "No problem."


	27. Chapter 27

"_9-1-1 What's your emergency?"_

"_My – uh – my girlfriend's not breathing!"_

"_Is she conscious?"_

"_Not anymore"_

"_Has she been involved in an accident?"_

"_I don't think so…I just found her and she's…(deep breath) please just hurry."_

"_An ambulance is on the way, sir. I need you to remain calm, okay?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_What's your girlfriend's name?"_

"_Jude."_

"_And who am I speaking with?"_

"_Tom"_

"_Are there any drugs or alcohol in Jude's system?"_

"_I don't know."_

Jude watched - scowling at the screen - as a late night celebrity news channel played the 911 call over again. It's the one Tommy made when he found Jude outside the bar in New Brunswick. Once it hit airwaves earlier that morning, it's been analyzed and replayed by any tabloid-in-motion TV show imaginable. Jude ground her teeth bitterly, her fingers idly tapping against the plastic backing of the remote. Despite her initial appeasement with real fame, she couldn't help but hate it right now. _Of course_ the press would get their greedy little hands on the 911 call and broadcast it to the world_. Of course_ it would breathe new life into the ridiculous rumors of abuse, and spur a million debates on whether she and Tommy should even be together by a bunch of people with nothing better to do.

Tommy returned to the couch from the kitchen, handing Jude a glass of orange juice – something she's been wanting nonstop since she found out she was pregnant. Tommy shook his head at the screen, "You see? That is why I don't want you come with me."

Jude clenched her jaw, her head turning childishly away from him. The past forty eight hours have been spent mostly within an argument that's been gradually building intensity since Tommy first said, "I really think you should stay here this weekend." He built his case on the simple fact that Jude was pregnant and shouldn't go back to that environment in her condition. Following that was a lengthy promise of strict good behavior while away, and a swift return. The real effect this tape had on them was the leverage it provided to Tommy's end of the argument.

However, while Tommy argued the stress would be too much for her and the baby; Jude argued that if things weren't going to be the same as last time, than what would there be to stress about? Tommy didn't have a response for that.

Jude knew the odds of him slipping into old ways were not stacked in her favor; she also knew that being there would help even them out a bit. "If you get put in jail, who's going to bail you out?" Jude muttered

"I'm not going to jail."

"You say that now." Jude mumbled under her breath before taking a large gulp of orange juice

Tommy sighed, "Can you pretend to have a little faith in me? I'm different now. I'm not going to fuck up again."

Jude crossed her arms, her foot tapping against the hard wood as she unwillingly admitted, "I do have faith in you, Tommy." And it's true. Tommy as a person, she has faith in; it's his impending environment she didn't trust.

"Then show it." Tommy pleaded, "Trust me. Everything's going to be fine."

Jude brought her bottom lip between her teeth, a long breath gusting from her lungs. Honestly, unless Tommy let up on his refusal, Jude wasn't going. She's already accepted it as part of her reality; Tommy was going without her. There's no way she's going to make the same mistake of forcing herself twice. That much déjà vu would jeopardize her mental health considerably. "I don't see what the big deal is," She said quietly, "If your mom has made as much progress as you say, and all I do is lie around, then what harm will it do the baby?"

Tommy ran a hand through his disheveled hair, a sigh of patience escaping his lips, "I'm so tired of arguing about this."

"Me too." Jude grumbled in a childish retort, indicating that it was him causing the argument.

"Jude, I'm not worried you'll strain yourself. I'm worried it'll bring back too much pain for you."

"And I'm worried about the pain it'll cause you," Jude argued, her posture shifting on cushions so she was facing him, "I don't you want you to be alone with that."

"And I don't want you there at all – especially with the baby."

"All this arguing and all we're trying to do is protect each other." Jude crossed her arms over her stomach, a sigh of her own breaking the silence between them. She wanted to suggest, again, that he not go at all and save them both the worry, but he'd already said no. The muffled sound of the 911 call played from the TV speaker again and Jude found herself haunted by the sound of Tommy's voice. The amount of pain and worry worked into every word stirred a small little pain in her as well, renewing the strength in the bond they shared. "I'll be worrying about you every second."

Tommy wrapped his arm around her waist, carefully bringing her to his side, "I'll call all the time."

Jude frowned, "I'll miss you."

Tommy muted the TV and tossed the remote aside, using his free hand to turn Jude's face toward him, "I'll be back before even have a chance to miss me."

Knowing how untrue that was, Jude's frown deepened.

"And after this I'll never go back again – I promise."

Unsure of just how true that could be, Jude laid her head on Tommy's shoulder, successfully breaking eye contact. Her hand pressed against the soft cotton covering her abdomen as she considered her options, which, admittedly, were limited. As worried as she'd be about Tommy, it shouldn't be placed top priority over the health of their baby. Instead of admitting this aloud, Jude changed the subject all together, "You know what's really nice?"

"What?"

"That we can just talk about things instead of fighting about them." Jude looked up at him, "A year ago, this would've been a huge fight."

"We've come a long way." Tommy agreed, resting his head atop hers

Jude snuggled closer to him, at peace for now, as she thought over just how far they'd really come. Every once in a while she would regain the feeling of victory she'd had when her and Tommy got back together last Christmas. After all they'd been through, they came out standing, and Jude was nearing certain that that's the way it'll always be with her and Tommy. "It'll be fine." She eventually whispered in accordance with his earlier words, starting to believe them; if she can make it through two months in New Brunswick with Tommy, two days without him should be cake.


	28. Chapter 28

The next day came faster than Jude hoped it would, and whipped by almost as quickly. She and Tommy had spent the day in different parts of the studio; Tommy finishing up Karma's album and Jude working solitarily on her own. Darius has been having her do a lot of that lately, more often than not Jude was on her own in the studio lately. Jude wondered if that was Darius' was of enforcing that he was still her boss despite the many contract changes, or if he was actually loosening her reins a little because he believed in her. Sadie favored the second option, claiming Darius told her himself that Jude was improving immensely, but Jude had her doubts.

Since Sadie confirmed her lack of pregnancy, she's been on her way of her and Darius' relationship, and was determined to cut all ties without leaving any bad blood between Jude and Darius. But Jude honestly couldn't comprehend disliking Darius anymore then she already did, she it's become a moot point.

Though lonely, Jude's day has been quite productive in regards to the music video she's been putting off. She's finally chosen to release Where Does It Hurt as an official single, and enlisted a small staff to make a tour montage video around it – her first ever. She thought it right to make her first really big tour a visual milestone for her video career.

She busied herself with transferring all the home videos her and SME took on the road and the professional concert shots taken by a TV network covering her first concert to a small portable hard drive that she'd drop by the director's office the following day.

"Hey, tiger!" Brendon's cheery voice sounded from the doorway of the studio, "Few days, no chat. What's up?"

Jude turned slightly in his direction, her hands busy restarting the soundboard, "Nothing much." She fibbed "What's going on with you, stranger?"

"Same ol'." Brendon sighed and plopped down in the chair next to Jude's, "You know, fighting to stay in competition."

Jude nodded, "I heard. Looks like you've got to keep your zipper shut around here."

"You know about that?"

Jude smirked at his staggered expression, remembering it well from her early days at the new Gmajor, "Rule one: There are no secrets around here. It's a small label, and everyone talks. Trust me." But even as she said it, she realized a bit cockily that her and Tommy have still managed to keep his work under wraps.

"Well," Brendon shook his head slowly, a frustrated set to his lips, "How do you keep your life private?"

Jude snorted and flashed an amused smile, "I don't. Have you seen the news lately?"

"Oh," Brendon nodded, "That." He cocked an eyebrow and leaned his elbows on his knees, "What was all that about anyway?"

"None of your business." Jude said primly

"C'mon," Brendon objected, "We're friends, aren't we? You can tell me."

Jude shrugged, keeping her manner prim and short, "I may not be the best at keeping a private life, but I know better than to blab."

Brendon sucked his teeth and leaned back in his chair, "I don't see what the big deal is," He mumbled before saying, "So, I hear the boyfriend's going out of town tomorrow."

"Mhmm." Jude murmured

"And that you'll be working with me while he's gone?"

"Right again."

Brendon smirked with a confident quirk of his eyebrow, "Excited?"

"Not really." Jude said softly, a light undertone of humor in her voice

Brendon fished his phone from his pocket, "I know I'm growing on you, tiger." He replied absentmindedly, his attention devoted to his cell phone until he huffed out an aggravated sigh and returned it to his pocket.

With the soundboard all set up for the next session, Jude twisted her chair to face Brendon, "Problem?"

"I fucking hate women." Brendon spat

"What'd our race ever do you?" Jude retorted jokingly

Brendon pressed the tips of his fingers to his temple, a slight scowl hinting at his features, "All this chick wants from me is money." He grumbled

Jude nodded with understanding, "Oh, you got yourself one of those, huh?"

"Apparently." Brendon said, "You know, girls are like condoms – they spend more time in your wallet than on your dick."

Jude cracked a smile, a single laugh bursting from her lips, "We're not all like that, you know."

"Sure seems that way."

"I'm not like that." Jude stated in playful defense

"You're different – you're cool. You're not like other girls."

"I get that a lot." Jude said quietly, seemingly baffled by his statement and secretly pleased that he felt that way.

Brendon offered Jude a wide, sly grin, "Got any clones that I can have?"

Jude rolled her eyes, "Clones?"

"Yeah, I mean, if I can't have you, I'll take the next best thing."

Jude cleared her throat, suddenly uncomfortable under Brendon's intense stare, "Tommy felt the same way for a while," She blurted out, "You know, about the whole girl issue."

"But he's lucky – he got you…so how do we fix my problem?"

"There she is," Tommy's voice suddenly broke their conversation, much to Jude's relief, "I've been looking for you."

Jude stood, meeting him with a hug, sincerely happy to see him, "I've been waiting here for you."

Tommy pecked her on the lips before taking a seat in Jude's chair and bringing her down to rest on his lap, "What are you guys talking about?"

Jude smiled softly, "How lucky you are."

Brendon removed his guitar from its case with a nonchalant shrug, "Apparently we've had similar girl issues."

"Bitch?" Tommy asked

Brendon shook his head, "Gold digger."

"I haven't had many of those, actually." Tommy said, his hand idly brushing along Jude's back, "Tons of bitches, though."

Brendon knitted his brow, "How do you avoid gold diggers?"

Tommy smirked, "Gold digger detector – Darius had it installed when I was recruited."

"And I haven't set it off yet?" Jude asked with faux surprise, "Better have that thing checked."

"I knew you wanted me for money." Tommy grumbled

Jude giggled, "What else is there?"

"Aw, low blow, Harrison!"

"Are we going to get to work or what?" Brendon chimed in, a somewhat annoyed expression making its way to his face as he watched them interact, "Darius has really been on my ass lately."

"Get used to it." Jude scoffed

"No kidding." Tommy agreed

Jude kissed Tommy quickly on the lips before standing, "I'll see you at home, babe."

Tommy turned toward the soundboard, "Love you – drive safe."

Brendon watched after Jude until she was out of sight, than glanced back at Tommy, casting him an envious glare. Just what does Jude see in him, anyway?


	29. Chapter 29

In the early hours of the following day, the still darkened sky provided no external light as Tommy glumly stuffed a few articles of clothing into a duffle bag while Jude lay sleeping in bed. He'd spent the time he should've been sleeping in a restless battle with himself, leaving him groggy for the day ahead. As much time as he's spent trying to convince Jude that going back would have absolutely no effect on him, he's yet to fully convince himself of that. He wished so badly that none of his old influences would be present to even tempt the thought of falling back to the place he was…but wishful thinking could only take one so far.

Tommy spent a great deal of the night toying with the thought of not going at all. It was probably the healthiest and obvious fix to the problem, but he couldn't bring himself to cancel. Something about this trip seemed too vital to miss. Though, he really couldn't come up with reasons to back up the instinct.

Carelessly, Tommy tossed his packed bag by the door and returned to the bedroom. The night before had also been filled with a brief argument on Jude's involvement in his leaving. She wanted to go along with him as far as possible, he disagreed. He didn't think it would be good for either of them to have a public goodbye at the security gates of the airport. Now that he's had the entire night to mull it over, though, it didn't seem like the bad idea he'd shot down hours prior...Or maybe that was just his underline fears talking; it'd be far less intimidating to face the pending day with Jude by his side. She was his strength, and he'll take all the strength he could get for as long as he can get it.

No matter the motivation, Tommy reentered the room to wake Jude, who surprisingly gave little protest to being taken out of bed unexpectedly at 5:30am. She wordlessly reached up and wound her arms around his neck, and he lifted her from the sheets with both arms wrapped tight around her waist. "Can you be ready in ten minutes?"

Jude questioned, but didn't ask his change of heart as she nodded and retrieved a slightly oversized zip up hoodie to put over the camisole she'd slept in, zipping it all the way up to the collar. Silently, Jude and Tommy maneuvered around each other, each trapped in their heads and unsure of what to say to sooth the situation. Jude had her moments of feeling as if she was overreacting bit – it was only two days – but she refused to chastise herself for it. She's seen Tommy's home first hand, and knew all that came with it. She was settled and ready to spend his entirety there worrying about the state Tommy could return in.

Jude was first at the door, and patiently waiting on Tommy, sipping on a water bottle filled with orange juice. Crossing the living room, Tommy smirked, "You and your juice."

Jude cracked a slight smile, "Baby's making me do it." She watched enviously as Tommy secured the lid on a thermos filled with coffee – something Chelsea recommended she give up.

Tommy followed her glare and grimaced apologetically, "Sorry babe, I need it."

Jude grumbled under her breath, but really needed to give Tommy credit. Since the day at the doctor's office, Tommy's chivalrously given up all Jude's had to give up. Granted, she didn't need to abandon much, but it's the principle. And Chelsea was right – Jude felt less alone in her sacrifices with Tommy playing along.

"Last time, I promise." Tommy flashed a halfhearted smile and kissed her forehead

Jude rolled her eyes and crankily made her way out into the misty morning. They were met with far less paparazzi then what could be considered the norm. Jude spotted only one cameraman across the street, and they drove away from home without a pursuer. At this, she began to feel a tad disappointed, idly wondering what other story enticed them enough to leave.

lllllll

"Alright," Tommy breathed, listening to a lengthy overhead announcement regarding upcoming flights. His was on time…something he found unfortunate. "I need to go."

Jude weaved her fingers through his and slowed her pace, delaying their arrival at security check point by a few seconds. With her right hand safely nestled in Tommy's, her left was busy nervously twisting her engagement ring around her finger, "Call me when you land, okay?" She said as a guard overlooked Tommy's ticket and left a stamp of approval

Seeing the sadness in Jude's eyes, Tommy frowned and gave her a hug, "I'll be back in two days. I love you."

Jude forced the corners of her lips up in a convincing smile, while her throat thickened with a grip of emotions she wrote off as hormonal, "Love you too."

Tommy tenderly smoothed a stray curl back into place from where it had fallen from Jude's messy bun and kissed her softly on the lips, "Take care of baby…please don't worry too much."

Jude managed another wobbly smile and crossed both arms over her abdomen, "We'll be fine."

Tommy procrastinated with another quick peck on the lips before crossing the check point, glancing back once in time to see Jude offering a supportive smile.

Jude waited until he was out of sight to drop the faltering smile, and, with a small part of her still wishing he would come running back, left the airport. The parking lot shone slightly with the light of morning glistening off the recently settled dew as Jude slowly made her way across it to her Mustang. Out from under the stare of Tommy, she let her tears fall without rein and let the anxiety sink in.

Instead of going home, Jude stopped by her old house for a nap, and eventually to get ready for her session with Brendon. Somehow, the knowledge that she'd be spending the day with him cleared a bit of the gloom from it. She couldn't exactly put her finger on what it was about Brendon that kept her interest, but whatever it was, it came as a welcome distraction from the Tommy issue.

Much to her relief, Jude had the house to herself during the entirety of her visit. Sadie's been teetering on the fence of hating Tommy lately. Jude figured Sadie wanted to reserve the right to say 'I told you so' if his trip has sour consequences by not being supportive beforehand. Jude sighed quietly to herself as she approached the back door of Gmajor. She missed the brief time Sadie spent focused most on being a sister than anything else. Jude needed a support system, not someone to call her falls before she hits the ground.

"Yo! Dude!" Spied greeted her overenthusiastically from across the lobby the second he spotted her, "Come celebrate with us!"

Jude breathed a huff through her nose and built a happily confused expression over her previous frowning one, "What's the occasion?"

Spied handed her a champion flute nearly overflowing with the bubbly liquid, and wrapped his arm around Karma's shoulders, "We won the case – well, Frank here did," He bounced the back of his hand off the shoulder of a stiff man standing beside him, "And we're court free!"

A small, genuine cry of excitement bubbled from her lips as she casually set her drink aside and pulled Spied in for a hug, "Congratulations!" She hugged Karma lightly as well, "That's great news. You're done with MTV, then?"

"Nah," Spied abducted Jude's abandoned drink and took a large sip, "We agreed to follow up with the series for eight more episodes to avoid further contract violation, and we'll have a pay cut," He rolled his eyes, "But they didn't take us for all the nothing we have!"

"Uh, okay?" Jude breathed a single laugh, her brow furrowed.

"We know – all that fighting for nothing." Karma said, reading Jude's thoughts, "But it was either settle or give them my savings."

"Well, whatever, as long as it's all over, right?"

"Here, here!" Kyle cheered from somewhere behind Jude

Spied wound his arm around Jude's neck and pulled her in for a sideways hug, nearly avoiding getting champion in her hair, "We're going out tonight for a real celebration – you in?"

"Where you headed?"

"Karma's favorite place – uh."

"The vampire room." Karma filled in for him, "C'mon, Jude. It wouldn't be a celebration without you – Tommy can come to." She added

Jude hesitated to answer, and before she could, Brendon spoke up as he came up next to Karma, "Boyfriend's out of town." He told her before shifting his gaze to Jude, "So it's time to play…right, Jude?"

"I don't know if I can make it, guys." Jude muttered out, uncomfortable under their stares, "But I hope you have good time." She removed herself from Spied's grip and made her way to Studio A, ignoring the chorus of "Boooo!" coming from Kyle and Wally.

Brendon followed her in a few minutes later, his presence much lighter and welcoming without Tommy around, "Club's not your scene, huh?" He asked

Jude shrugged, "I don't feel like drinking."

"Just because you're at a club, doesn't mean you have to drink." Brendon clarified matter-of-factly, "What's the real reason - did the boyfriend say you had to stay home?"

Jude turned to scowl at him, "His name is Tommy. And he's not my boyfriend, he's my fiancé-"

"Same diff."

"And I'm not going because I don't want to."

Brendon gave her a moment to calm before scooting his chair closer to hers, both facing the soundboard, "Rumor has it Tommy is back in his hometown."

"And?"

"Nothing I just think it's a little weird, that's all." Brendon baited, seeming uninterested in the subject

Jude gave in with an aggravated sigh, "What's weird?"

"That he gets to party with old girlfriends and you won't even have a night out with friends."

Jude regretted taking the bait immediately and returned to setting up the soundboard, "He's not partying. He's taking care of his mom."

"Whatever. Are you seriously planning on doing nothing while he's gone?"

Jude nodded, her mind filling with the empty weekend ahead, "That's right."

Brendon scoffed, "What kind of logic is that?"

"The logic of the logical thinker." Jude answered primly, feeling her common feeling of annoyance she had around Brendon, "Now drop it."

Jude set Brendon to work with as much busy activity as possible to keep him from bringing up Tommy again, allowing them to fall into the flow of creating music.

While Brendon was in the studio recording a freestyle riff for a song Darius picked out for him, Jude busied her own self with concocting a melody around it. Every once in a while she'd stop to check for a call from Tommy – one that should've come hours ago – with no result, only dumping further difficulty in her stay calm plan.

"You're not seriously ditching the party tonight, are you?" Sadie's voice chimed in as she entered the room, successfully breaking Jude's concentration

Jude glanced up at Brendon and made sure the mic was off before speaking, "Probably not the best thing to be in a club pregnant."

Sadie shrugged and sunk down into the empty chair next to Jude, "It's a no smoking club," She pointed out, "And you can drink ginger ale all night. No problem."

Jude laughed sarcastically, "Fun."

"It can be – everyone's going." Sadie encouraged, "And I kind of need you there."

"Why?"

"Kwest is going to be there, and he agreed to talk with me tonight." Sadie linked her arm with Jude's, "I need you for moral support." She pouted

"Fine." Jude said, "But you have to come up with an excuse about why I can't drink."

"I'm guessing telling people the truth is out?"

"You guessed right."

"Okay," Sadie nodded, "I'll lie for you."

Suddenly, Jude's cell phone sounded from her pocket with Tommy's ringtone. She eagerly snatched it up, "There you are!" She answered happily, "How was the flight?"

"Good." Tommy said a bit stiffly, "Sorry, I didn't call sooner – my phone died."

Jude rubbed at her neck with a shaky breath that muffled the line, "It's okay. How is everything?"

"Uh," Tommy hesitated while the sounds of chatter filled the dead air, "The same, I guess…I'm already ready to leave."

Jude wasted an assuring smile on the phone, "Hang in there, babe. You'll be home soon."

"I know."

Jude's eyes fell from Sadie to her lap, watching as she thumbed her engagement ring again, "You're staying out of trouble so far?"

"Of course." Tommy answered immediately before speaking in a much softer tone, "I miss you."

Jude bit on her lip, her eyes briefly meeting Brendon's though the glass before she directed her gaze back to her ring, "I miss you too."


	30. Chapter 30

"You alright?" Sadie whispered in Jude's ear as they entered the club, immediately greeted by loud music and colored, shifting lights.

The club's atmosphere enveloped Jude in an instant, only furthering her currently state of lightheadedness. "I'm fine," She grumbled lightly, "Can you please talk to Kwest so we can leave?"

Sadie smiled softly and wrapped her arms around Jude's shoulders, "Still feeling sick?"

Jude nodded and detached herself from Sadie's grip to find somewhere to sit. Other than her odd orange juice obsession, she'd been hoping to be one of the lucky ones who skip the infamous first trimester sicknesses, but those hopes were dashed a few hours ago when she'd been hit with a wave of nausea that threatened to spill all the juice she's been drinking. Mercifully, the nausea passed without incident, but left behind a slight lightheadedness that had Jude wishing she never left the house.

"Hey! You made it!" Spied practically had to yell over the music, his wide, friendly smile meeting Jude as she approached him, "I told the guys you'd show!" He brought Jude in for a quick hug and led her to a couch cluttered with their friends. Also in the crowd, Jude noticed, was a random scattering Gmajor employees all holding occupations of different standing and importance.

"Everyone tuned out for this, huh?"

"Hell yeah!" Someone cheered from behind her

Jude glanced back, amused, than shoved herself in a seat next to Wally.

"I going to the bar, want anything?" Spied offered a few minutes later, interrupting Jude and Wally's reminiscing about the clubs they visited while on tour.

Wally hopped up in volunteer to assist Spied while a few people around them put in their drink orders. Jude ordered a soda with the explanation that she was Sadie's designated driver for the night – which apparently was the best lie Sadie could come up with – and was relived Spied didn't make a big deal about it. A few of the Gmajor employees, though, casted some stray looks her way. It was a general fact that Sadie was very responsible, and this fact has been even more so enforced since Sadie started dating Darius, so it was probably weird to hear that she needed a designated driver.

Under the speculative stare of Gmajor gossipers, Jude shifted uncomfortably, uncrossing and crossing her legs. Something about the prying eye of the media has left her generally self-conscious these days, and aiming to please.

"Aren't you tired of that excuse?" A familiar voice suddenly sounded in Jude's ear, his warm whisky-stained breath fanning her neck

Jude turned her head toward Brendon, relieved at the distraction, "I don't use it as often as you think." She clarified, "And it's true."

Brendon cocked a skeptical eyebrow, his mouth set in an amused line, "There wouldn't be any other reason you don't drink, would there - a six foot, over gelled boy-bander for example?"

Jude rolled her eyes, "What's your beef with Tommy, anyway? He works you too hard or something?" She asked as she sat back in an attempt to ease her abruptly unstable stomach

Brendon relaxed right alongside her, his arm reaching back to rest along the top of the couch behind her, "You know what? Let's not talk about him." He said quietly as he shifted his posture to face Jude, "Is my single ready for Darius, yet?" Was the first thing he decided to ask, knowing that if the subject was music, Jude was far more relaxed around him.

Spied arrived with Jude's ginger ale a while later and she eagerly sipped at the icy beverage, while Brendon gulped his whiskey. "What it is with guys and whiskey?" She wondered aloud

Brendon nudged his chin in Karma's direction and shrugged, "What is it with ladies and little fruity drinks?"

"If you recall, I'm not a fruity drink kind of girl."

"Prove it." Brendon challenged

And there it was. Jude recognized the bold, almost teasing, glint in Brendon's eyes and found herself wanting to prove him wrong. The little probes and dares he provoked with his eyes was something that had her wanting to take risks, live a little. However, unlike the last time she went shot to shot with Brendon, she was well aware of her pregnancy and happily turned down his dare with a swift "No."

Brendon's arms casually encased Jude's neck in a loose hold, a grin growing on his lips, "Prude." He muttered

Jude shrugged, "Think what you want."

Brendon rolled his eyes, "I like you better when you're having fun."

"I like you better when you're not around." Jude quipped back

The club's flashing lights shifted in correspondence with the song change and brought a soft shade of red over Jude's skin, making her big blue eyes stand out even more. Brendon smiled a little and leaned in to bring his mouth near Jude's ear, "It's a shame Tommy's not here to see how beautiful you look tonight."

At this, Jude became visibly uncomfortable as she shrugged Brendon's arm from her shoulders, "Thanks." She said quietly, her eyes scanning the room for Sadie.

"I mean it." Brendon insisted, misreading her discomfort

Jude nodded and stole a quick glance at the short halter dress Sadie talked her into - claiming it to be 'appropriate club wear'. Setting her drink aside, Jude pulled down the hem she hadn't noticed ridden up and put some distance between her and Brendon.

"What's the problem?"

Jude sucked in a deep breath through her nose, and exhaled it in a gust, "Nothing." She lied, feeling more than a little queasy now. A few deep breaths later, and Jude was out of her seat, walking toward the bathroom with Brendon's protests following behind her until they faded into the music. She met eyes with Sadie as she rushed passed the table she and Kwest were seated at in a secluded corner before shoving through the bathroom door.

Once she successfully expelled all her stomach had to offer, Jude sat up against the stall's wall with a groan. Honestly, though, she felt a bit relieved to finally feel pregnant instead of just knowing it. As long as she was nauseous and put off to smells, it was proof her baby was still alive in there and it put her at peace – no matter how gross she felt.

The main door swung open, sending a breeze over the bathroom's floor that casted a stray piece of toilet paper into Jude's stall, followed by a quiet, "Jude?"

"In here, Sadie." Jude said hoarsely and reached up to unlatch the lock

Sadie looked down at her sister and grimaced, "Do you have any idea how dirty that floor is?"

Jude's hands remained clasped in her lap, a careless shrug in her shoulders, "It's fine – I'll be up in a minute."

Sadie's nose remained scrunched as she stepped into the stall and crouched in front of Jude, "How are you feeling?"

"Horrible."

Sadie gathered the hem of her skirt over her knees and gently knelt on the messy floor, "Can I get you anything?"

A thankful smile formed on Jude's lips and she quietly shook her head no.

Sadie dug into her purse and handed Jude her cell phone "Tommy texted you." She said, and sure enough, an impatient-looking envelope appeared on the screen with Tommy's name under it.

Jude sighed at Tommy's goodnight message and returned her phone to Sadie's purse.

"What's the matter?" Sadie asked

"Tommy said he'd call all the time but he's only called once and texted twice." Jude griped softly

"He's probably busy." Sadie suggested reassuringly, "You know how it is, right?"

Jude clenched her jaw with a jerky nod as moisture began to rim her eyes. She knew pregnancy hormones were supposed make her irrational or whatever, but really, the just made her feelings stronger. Everything she felt from anger to love was doubled in intensity these days and somehow they all announced themselves in the form of tears. Anxiety was the culprit this time, paired with the gross feeling sloshing around in her stomach.

Sadie reached out and stopped Jude's hands from wiping the tears off her face and offered her a tissue "Germs." She explained and watched her sister dab at her runny mascara, "What's the matter?"

"Everything" Jude squeaked, "I'm sick of crying about stuff for one."

"You're crying because you're sick of crying?" Sadie clarified, and amused smile gracing her lips

Jude gusted out a breathy laugh of her own, "Guess so."

"Aren't you used to it by now, though? You've been pregnant for – what –seven weeks?"

Jude shrugged. In her mind, it only felt as if she'd been pregnant a few days. She's only now fully realizing the signs that she hadn't known to be signs that marked her pregnancy, and getting to know this new, emotional side of herself. "It's getting worse, actually."

"What is?"

"My emotions" Jude sniffled

Sadie moved closer to Jude, offering her another tissue, "What's causing them now – other than your tire of weeping."

Unsure of how to proceed with a conversation about Tommy with Sadie, Jude began lightly, testing her reaction, "Its Tommy," She whispered, "He's making it really hard to feel like his wife."

"You're not his wife yet." Sadie pointed out

"I'm going to be."

Sadie laid her hands in her lap, her face holding a reasoning expression, "But you're not right now. You guys are still adjusting – that's what the engagement period is for."

"Shouldn't it be easier than this?"

Sadie smirked, "Has anything between you and Tommy ever been easy?"

Jude shrugged indifferently, "Getting pregnant was easy."

"Other than that."

"Not really"

"It'll work out with time." Sadie said and reached over to fix the mascara smears Jude had missed. She took in her sister's unsatisfied frown and sighed, "But you need to hear that from Tommy." She concluded, and Jude agreed. "Have you talked to him about it?"

"Haven't had the chance."

"Well, once you do, you'll feel better. Trust me."

Jude smiled, "When'd you hop on team Tommy?"

"I'm on team you," Sadie corrected, "And – no matter my feelings toward him - I know the only person who can fix this is Tommy." She fished Jude's phone from her purse, "Call him."

"Now?"

"Why not?"

Jude denied the phone and shoved up from the floor, "I'll talk to him when he gets back."

Sadie stood with a shrug, "Whatever you say." She murmured in a quiet tone with an underline edge of I-told-you-so. She watched a bit smugly as Jude rinsed her mouth before casually asking, "Do you think you'll be alright getting home by yourself?"

Jude ripped a paper towel from a dispenser and dabbed her hands and lips, "Yeah. Why?"

Sadie shrugged one shoulder, leaning her hip against the counter, "Well…I'm leaving with Kwest tonight."

"You are?" Jude demanded through a surprised grin, "What happened?"

At this, a slightly guilty smile fumbled across Sadie's lips, "Uh, well, we got to talking and he didn't seem nearly as interested as I thought he would be so…"

Jude's eyes narrowed with a suspicious cross of her arms, "What'd you do, Sadie?"

"I told him I thought I was pregnant – which isn't a lie," Sadie added to clarify, "I did think I was pregnant…I just didn't tell him when I thought it."

"Sadie!" Jude chastised, "He's probably totally freaked out right now."

"Only a little." Sadie mentioned indifferently, "He's being really cool about it."

"So what's your plan from here?"

"We're leaving to get a test and going to his place to take it."

"But you're supposed to take those in the morning."

Sadie shrugged, "He doesn't know that – and if he finds out, I'll go over and…take it again." She smiled, pleased by the thought

Jude shook her head, "You're sick." She accused

"I'm in love." Sadie whined, "And he doesn't trust me so I had to come up with a way to spend time with him."

"And lying to him is the way to fix that?"

"I didn't lie!"

"Justify all you want, it's still a lie."

Sadie straightened up and turned to the mirror, adjusting her makeup, "Well, if it works in getting him back than I don't care."

Jude sighed, "There's so much wrong with all of this."

"Like what?"

"You can't just expect him to take you back after leaving him for another guy."

Sadie ran her fingers through her perfectly straight hair and dug her lip gloss from her purse, "I'm not expecting, I'm hoping," She corrected, "I made a huge mistake, and I can fix it…I will." She added in a quiet whisper, her voice vulnerable

Jude bit back what she wanted to say with an unconcerned shrug of her shoulders, "Whatever. Good luck, I guess."

Sadie flashed a thankful smile and pulled Jude in for a quick hug, "Are you sure you'll be alright?"

Jude nodded, "Who am I to stand in the way of deception?"

Sadie and Jude went their separate ways; Sadie went to Kwest and Jude said her goodbyes and apologies to Spied for leaving so early. Karma even seemed disappointed to see her go, which, honestly, freaked Jude enough to make her want to leave that much sooner. Brendon said little, only casting a few teasing remarks about her inability to loosen up on her way out.

Jude texted Tommy from the car; saying nothing but a simple 'I love you' before discarding her phone to the passenger seat of her Mustang. Deep down she was hoping for a call or response, but received none the whole way home. This certainly was beginning to feel like the first few days he left for New Brunswick the last time. It started with a few texts, even less calls until she barely heard from him at all. She tried to remind herself of all the reasons not to worry, of how much Tommy has changed since then, but it had no effect on her worried stomach.

Languidly, Jude made her way into the empty apartment, not bothering with any lights until she got to the bedroom where she lit her nightstand lamp and changed for bed. She laid flat on her back for a while, her hand idly brushing against the soft skin carrying her baby, reminding her of the most important reason not to stress. "Everything's fine." She whispered to herself, "Tommy's fine…we're fine…" She released a quiet breath; not worrying would be a hell of a lot easier with Tommy around…or even a speck of a reason not to worry.

Jude turned to her side in one frustrated motion and buried herself within the soft bedding, her hand shoving under the pillow, where her fingers brushed along a piece of paper. Curious, Jude pulled it into view and was met with Tommy's handwriting asking her to open it. "Honey, why you calling me so late?" The top line read:

_It's kinda hard to talk right now_

_Honey why are you crying, is everything okay?_

_I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud_

_Well, my girl's in the next room_

_Sometimes I wish she was you_

_I guess we never really moved on_

_It's really good to hear your voice saying my name_

_It sounds so sweet_

_Coming from the lips of an angel_

_Hearing those words it makes me weak_

_And I never wanna say goodbye_

_But girl you make it hard to be faithful_

_With the lips of an angel_

The letter dated back to when Jude had just gotten back from tour…when he was with Sadie. Below it was a quick scrawl in Tommy's hand writing, written that morning, Jude guessed:

_You see? I've always loved you. And I always will. Please stop worrying, and sleep well._

_Love, Tommy_


	31. Chapter 31

"Youth will only be a novelty for so long."

"Yeah. I get why you want it, but do you gotta _marry_ the bitch?"

"She's not a bitch." Tommy corrected sternly, casting glares at the two people sitting in front of him as he dealt them each a hand of cards

Ryan took in Tommy's anger with a sarcastic look of fear, "Soooorry."

"I still say you'll cheat on her eventually." Selena chimed in, "She's such a fuckin' princess."

"She's not." Tommy said in full defense of his fiancé, "You don't know what the hell you're talking about."

Ryan nodded slightly in agreement, his eyes on his cards, "How much of a princess could she be," He muttered, "She stuck around _here_ longer than any of us bet she would." He added a grimace to the end of his statement, insinuating that the conditions around them were far from 'princess' standards

"Even the dumbest blondes know to stay where her money is." Selena said

Tommy scoffed and bit down on the inside of his lip to keep his temper in check, "Jude doesn't need my money – she has her own."

"Considering a prenup, Tom?" Ryan asked curiously in an attempt to ease the tension between Tommy and his cousin

"Don't need one." Tommy answered primly and folded his hand, shoving the cards to the side

"You trust her that much?" Selena chuckled under her breath, "Good luck with that."

Tommy sighed with frustration and dunked his hand into the cooler resting by his chair and dug out his first beer of the night – which was surely looking like a long one. He and Ryan were actually having a decent time before Selena showed up and stirred the pot as usual. Apparently, she was under the impression that Jude and Tommy's marriage was doomed.

"And what are you marrying her for anyway?" Selena continued, "D'you knock her up or something?"

"Nah," Ryan laughed, "If she was pregnant he'd be runnin', not staying."

"Excuse me?" Tommy demanded, offended, "I'm not my father."

"Didn't say you were," Ryan said and gathered his winnings from the center of the table "Just that you're not the 'daddy' type."

Selena smirked, "No kidding."

"What do you mean?" Tommy asked

"Between you and your pet your IQ's less than the fetus…for starters."

Ryan laughed quietly, "Yeah, what are you gonna do when the kid needs help with his homework – refer him to a tutor?"

"Can't do that," Selena snickered, "Then it'll be too smart for them."

"Fuck you." Tommy growled

"No," Ryan said, humor in his voice as he snatched the deck of cards from Tommy, only speaking to Selena now, "The kid won't even be in school – he'll drop out to be a short witted musician."

"He has to go!" Selena said, "It'll be so cute for mommy and baby to be in school together."

"Has she even graduated yet?" Ryan asked Tommy

"Or are you banging her between classes?"

Tommy finished off his beer in one gulp and crushed the can in his angry fist. He looked between the two people who, at one point, were the only and best company he's ever had and couldn't understand what the hell drew him to them to start with. "You're fucking idiots." Tommy acknowledged aloud, "You're stuck in a dead beat town, you haven't made a THING out of yourselves, and you're criticizing me?" He barked out a single, sarcastic laugh, "At least I HAVE a life."

"Then why aren't you out their living it?" Selena demanded, "What the hell are you doing around here if it's not 'good enough' for you?"

"I have no idea." Tommy spat and shoved up from the table, heading to his room.

His mom hasn't made an appearance since she passed out drunk nearly three hours ago. Tristan's been lenient about her drinking habits, as always, and hasn't bothered with her medication in weeks, so she's been her old, normal self. Tommy plopped down on his bed, an angry sigh gusting from his lips. Jude was right; he comes all this way for - what? – His mother to remind him he's a worthless failure, for his friends to make fun of him and his life choices? No amount of family loyalty was worth this shit.

Llllllllllllllll

The next day, after dealing with her first experience with morning sickness, Jude slowly strolled through G-major and settled herself behind the soundboard of Studio A. She felt an awful lot like she had a stomach flu, which she guessed to be a common feeling after spending thirty minutes hovering over a toilet bowl. Since then, she hasn't been able to keep anything but water in her system, so she's been drinking it in generous quantities to make sure she didn't dehydrate.

Tommy's promised morning phone call hasn't come yet, and to avoid worrying why that is, she's convinced herself that it's nothing more than a busy schedule with his mother keeping him away. He wasn't drinking or doing drugs with his stupid friends – he was taking care of him mom…that's what she'll tell herself, anyway. Last night's note from Tommy was successful in easing the worry about him not returning, or him possibly realizing he's happier by himself on the beaches with his ex-girlfriends. He truly and honestly _loves_ her – and thinks she has the lips of an angel, apparently. Jude smiled at tad at the thought. It came as a bit of a smug feeling to know that while Tommy was with Sadie, he really wanted to be with her; especially after spending so much time wishing she was good enough for Tommy like Sadie was…looks like she had it wrong the whole time.

Her phone began blaring Tommy's ringtone from where it sat in the front pocket of her bag, startling Jude from her thoughts, and almost from her chair. She eagerly grabbed for it and brought it to her ear, "There you are."

"Hey." Tommy answered, the smile evident in his voice, followed by a soft sigh, "How are you doing, baby?"

At the mention, Jude became aware of her unsettled stomach and frowned, "I've been introduced to morning sickness."

"That bad, huh?"

Jude made a small grumbling sound of agreement and laid her forehead on the smooth edge of the soundboard, "What's going on over there?"

"Usual." Tommy muttered

Jude nodded, knowing all too well what the 'usual' was around there, "How are you holding up?"

"Very well," Tommy said, a hint of awe in his voice, "Surprisingly. I can't wait to be home."

"Only one more day," Jude murmured encouragingly, "Then you get to stay home and watch me puke all night."

Tommy chuckled, "I'd prefer that over this any day….was it you who told me the people I hang out with are completely morons?"

"I believe so."

"And I didn't listen?"

"Nope." Jude smirked, "Guess that makes me the smart one?"

"Absolutely."

Jude leaned back in her chair and slouched down to rest her head on the back rest, "I got your note." She whispered quietly

"Thought you would." Tommy smiled against the phone

"I have the lips of an angel, huh?"

"Mmhmm."

Jude grinned, "Thank you for that – I needed it."

"I thought you would."

"Always a step ahead."

"Always will be."

Jude turned slightly and acknowledged Brendon's presence as he came through the door, motioning for him to go into the studio, "Don't know what I'd do without you, babe."

"Ditto." A loud sound – one that sounded like a door slam – came in on Tommy's side of the line and he huffed a frustrated breath, "I gotta go."

"_Tell the boyfriend I said heyyyyy!" _A male's voice said before Jude spoke, "Yeah, me too." She giggled

"Is that Brendon?" Tommy asked, distracted

"Yeah. We have to start on next week's song." Jude shoved Brendon's face away from her phone and playfully sternly shoved her finger toward the studio, mouthing him to get his ass in there.

"Silent profanity!" Brendon chanted, appalled

"I need to get to work." Jude said, "I love you."

"I love you too – And I'll be home tomorrow." Tommy added with an underline threat directed toward Brendon

"Can't wait." Jude murmured sincerely before ending the call

Tommy stood and stashed his phone in his pocket, his own set of worries beginning to spark.

* * *

><p>I would seriously appriciate some reviews! Please and thank you! :))<p> 


	32. Chapter 32

With another long night lurking in his near future, Tommy greedily yanked the last beer from the fringe and brought it along with him to the porch where Selena and Ryan sat smoking cigarettes. "Last one." He announced before cracking his drink open and taking a generous gulp.

"Beer run – you're up." Selena told Ryan and moved to make room for Tommy next to her on the step

Ryan nodded and lit up his third cigarette, "I'll go in a minute."

Selena grumbled at Ryan's lack of movement to render her need for alcohol and made a grab for Tommy's beer, "You've been throwing back all day," She complained when Tommy pulled his drink out of reach, "I haven't even had one."

"Sounds like a personal problem." Tommy muttered in return, sparing no glance in her direction.

Despite their bickering on the night before, Tommy has resigned himself to having them as company once again. It was better than being alone, and far better than staying inside with his mother, who was currently drinking herself into a coma from the confines of her bedroom.

"Alcoholism must run in the family." Selena snarked bitterly before shoving up from the step "Maybe Mariam has a spare bottle for me."

"Good luck with that." Tommy said over his shoulder

Ryan scooted over and wordlessly offered Tommy a cigarette. Tommy deliberated a little before denying it, thinking it best not to reintroduce himself to smoking for fear of it leading to something stronger than cigarettes. He finished his beer and added it to the small collection of glass bottles gathering on the porch.

Ryan eyed Tommy's nearly drunken state and shook his head, "I don't know why you bother."

"Bother with what?"

"Why do you come here?" Ryan asked a bit roughly, "If I had the chance to get the fuck outta here, I'd be gone."

Tommy shrugged, "I don't know." He admitted "Family…and whatever."

Ryan scoffed, "You're an idiot."

"I get that a lot." Tommy slurred and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees

Selena returned with a half drunken bottle of tequila and happily took a seat next to Ryan, "Out cold." She laughed, "Pried this right from her hand."

"That's nice." Ryan said sarcastically while Tommy sloppily made his way to his feet, "I'll see you guys later." He told them

Selena watched Tommy stumble through the front door and laughed, "Like mother like son."

Once on the rough sheets of his uncomfortable bed, Tommy laid flat on his back and stared straight up at the ceiling in a semi-drunken haze. In that moment he couldn't comprehend anything he wanted more than to be at home in his own bed with Jude sleeping beside him. He idly thought over his reasoning for being here, and couldn't force it to make sense like it had when he'd been explaining to to Jude. Just what [i]was[/i] he doing here?

Tommy groaned and drug a hand over his face at the sound of his mother storming from her room across the hall – woken and searching for her next drink, no doubt. The sounds of Selena attempting to calm her down soon drifted down the hall and hit Tommy like a strong wave of déjà vu, except instead of Selena's voice, it was Jude's that resided in his memory; the sound of Jude reasoning with his mother, the sound of her arguing, chasing, trying so badly to keep up with Mariam's mood swings until she was completely exhausted. The more Selena fought with Mariam, the more Jude came up in Tommy's head. He thought in rounds about the last time he was here and all that had happened, reliving it like a nightmare he couldn't wake up from. Alcohol induced thought patterns soon brought him to the edge of his bed, wanting now more than ever to be away from here.

The following morning couldn't have come quick enough as far as Tommy was concerned. He'd spent most of the night in a few losing battles with his mom, and the rest in a drunken stupor, all leading up to his 5am alarm. A bit hung over and a duffle bag in hand, Tommy bid his mother no goodbye and hit the road as soon as Tristan stepped from his taxi, stopping only to mention they won't be seeing each other for a while.

Much like the last time he made this journey, his body was on a livewire, he couldn't believe how excited he was to get back home, back to work, but most importantly, back to Jude.

Neither the car or plane moved at a pace that pleased him; by the time he'd crossed the tarmac to the terminal, it felt like an entire day had passed, when in reality it had only been a few hours. He rushed by his fellow passengers crowded at baggage claim and passed security before his relief was in sight. Jude stood across a cluttered lobby area, her attention focused on a notepad as she signed her signature for a little kid, sending him away smiling after a brief hug. Her eyes lingered on the little boy for a while before she finally noticed Tommy coming toward her. The smile that came across her face stole Tommy's heart and breath in an instant. Coming from all the bitter, cruel, people who were never one for a warm welcome back in New Brunswick, Tommy saw Jude's welcoming in such a strong contrast. All he ever needed or anything he could ever want is here, right in front of him.

Jude watched Tommy's casual approach, eyeing the growing smile on his lips, "Finally," She faked an eye roll, "Leave it to you to keep a woman waiting."

As soon as she was within in, Tommy dropped his duffle bag to the ground and brought Jude flush up against him by the waist, holding her in a tight embrace. Jude's giggle sounded softly in his ear, "Hello to you too."

Tommy groaned pleasantly, "I missed you."

"I missed you too." Jude whispered in return and kissed him firmly on the lips, confirming her statement

Tommy forced himself to release Jude and picked up his bag, "How are you feeling?" He asked, wounding an arm around her shoulders

Jude's body relaxed fully against Tommy, her head falling to rest on his shoulder as they headed for the exit, "Like I just stepped of the twist-a-whirl."

Tommy frowned, "Have you been eating alright?"

"I can't keep anything down," Jude groaned, "Not until the afternoon, anyway."

Tommy's hand dropped from her shoulder to her hip, where he tenderly gripped the jean-clad skin, "How's the juice obsession?"

"Over."

"Really?"

Jude grimaced dramatically, "It doesn't taste as good coming back up – and did you know that milk curdles in your stomach and pukes out like scrambled eggs?"

Tommy's disgusted expression was lightened with a chuckle and dropped a kiss on her temple, "So good to be home."


	33. Chapter 33

"It's really unfair Darius is making you go right to work." Jude said sympathetically in a light grumble as she and Tommy entered G-major through the side door

Tommy shrugged one shoulder, his arm holding Jude securely to his side where she's been since she got him from the airport, "It's only a couple hours. Then we can go home and celebrate my home coming."

Recognizing the subtle tone change in his voice, Jude rolled her eyes playfully, "You were only gone two days – don't get carried away."

Tommy smirked and dipped his head to level his lips with her ear, speaking in a rough whisper, "Are you saying you didn't miss me at all?"

"A little." Jude admitted stiffly

A sly grin blossoming on his lips, Tommy slipped his fingers into Jude's front pocket, "Only a little?"

"Mmhmm."

Tommy stopped their walking when they arrived in the short hallway leading to studio B and dropped a kiss on the corner of her mouth and watched in satisfaction as she shuddered pleasantly, "Liar."

A very slight blush of color rushed over her face before Jude smiled and yanked Tommy's hand from her pocket, "Shut up."

Tommy flashed a playful grin that made Jude's stomach swarm with butterflies and kissed her softly on the lips, "I missed you every second," He murmured, his voice serious, "I'm never leaving again."

Jude's arms found their way around his neck as she leaned up against the wall behind her, "Good to know." She pulled him in for another kiss, and was becoming very comfortably surrounded by Tommy when someone obnoxiously cleared their throat from right beside them

Their heads turned simultaneously toward the sound, and found Darius glaring back at them, "Make out on your own time."

A single, amused laugh bubbled up from Jude's throat before she could stifle it, never having heard Darius use the term make-out. Jude's laugh triggered one from Tommy, only heightening Darius' apparent anger. "Sorry D." Jude cleared her throat and removed herself from Tommy's hold

"T, I need to see you in my office, Jude get to work."

"Someone's got a stick where it doesn't belong." Jude muttered, watching Darius' retreat

"What else is new?"

Jude sighed and gave Tommy's hand a parting squeeze, "I'll see you later."

Tommy's hand tightened around Jude's, halting her, "Where are you going?"

Jude pointed down the hall with a 'duh' expression, "To work?"

"With who?"

"Brendon."

"No, I'm supposed to be working with him today."

Jude shrugged, "Not according to Darius – I have all your guys today."

"Why? I'm back."

"Ask Darius." Jude said and headed into Studio A

Tommy made his way to Darius' office and took a seat behind in front of his desk.

"Karma's album on time?" Was the first thing Darius said, his eyes not leaving his laptop

"Yah. Should be done by Friday."

Darius dug in his file drawer and handed Tommy a tall stack of papers, "I've got a few new bands coming in today, I'm gonna need you to cut their demos and have them to me by tomorrow."

"Demos?" Tommy demanded, seeming offended by the request, "D, I'm already swamped with my regular artists."

"Not anymore – I've given Jude half your load." Darius informed him casually, "The girl's getting good."

"You gave her_ half_?" Tommy shook his head, "Why?"

Darius looked up him with a raised brow, "You don't think she's ready for it?"

"No," Tommy quickly disagreed, "She'll do fine, but what's with my cut?"

"She took over while you were gone and did really well. The artists love her, too – she has a fresh style. You're still my top guy," Darius added in an attempt to sooth the mixed emotions on Tommy's face, "I'm just letting Jude stretch her muscles a little."

"Alright," Tommy shrugged in dumfounded anger, "That all?"

"No," Darius dug in his drawer again and produced a thinner file, "Once Brendon's named Canada's Instant Star, I'm bringing in the US, New Zealand and UN winners so I need you to show them around the studio and get their demos started for the next phase of the competition."

"I thought Brendon was the US winner?"

"He auditioned here." Darius told him, "And I'm gonna need Karma's album by Thursday, I'm leaving for the US Friday morning."

Tommy gathered all Darius gave him and tucked it under his arm as he stood, "Whatever." He grumbled bitterly

"Don't think of this as a bad thing." Darius said after him

"Right, because I consider babysitting newbies a promotion." Tommy spat sarcastically and left Darius' office in a huff, wondering just how so much of his work life has shifted in such a short amount of time.

On his way to studio B, Tommy crossed the vast glass enclosure of studio A and caught a glimpse of Jude and Brendon chatting behind the soundboard. Too close, in Tommy's opinion, was Brendon's chair to Jude's, and his hand seemed to find constant excuses to be on Jude in one way or another. Tommy watched Brendon's shameless flirting for a moment, quickly growing sick of it in his already irritated state. He shoved through the door and casted a possessive glare at Brendon as he passed to get to Jude, "Hey." Jude greeted cheerfully, happily returning Tommy's quick kiss

Trying to seem casual about it, Tommy rolled Jude's chair back out of Brendon's reach and pretended to adjust something on the soundboard, standing right between them, "How's it going in here?"

"Fine," Brendon answered, his own glare meeting Tommy's, "What's it to you?"

Tommy shrugged and set his papers down, "Just thought I'd check in. Why don't you get in the studio and show me when you've got so far."

"Yeah," Jude chimed in, oblivious to the tension growing between the two men, "Head in there so we can get started."

Tommy took Brendon's seat the second he was out of it, and waited until he was behind the glass watching to move next to Jude and pull her feet into his lap, his hand resting high up on her thigh, "Which song are you working on?"

Jude closed her journal and stashed it in her bag, her gaze finally taking in the scene around her, "Don't you have studio time with Karma right now?"

Tommy shot a predatory glance at Brendon and leaned over to kiss Jude on the cheek in a silent claim, "She can wait."


	34. Chapter 34

Much later that day, Jude came to find herself alone in her and Tommy's apartment after having spent nearly all of it in the studio with a batch of what used to be Tommy's artists. When Darius had delivered the news of her schedule change hours prior, Jude was surprised to say the least – especially when she found out that in turn, Tommy was pretty much demoted to beginner status. Her fight with Darius was brief and minimal, honestly more than a little flattered that he'd thought her ready to take on part of Tommy's load. Out of respect, she'd later talked with Tommy about it and he seemed quiet and uncaring about the matter; if he had any objections, he didn't show them, but Jude suspected he did. His overall attitude had been standoffish throughout the day; one could say he was almost upset with her, though he insisted he wasn't.

The drive home had Jude thinking temporarily that she was simply reading too much into things. He held her hand the whole way, told her he loved her twice and made her feel as though everything was back to normal…until he announced two minutes into being home that he was going out for a while. No specifics, just "out".

Jude shoved up from the couch, taking the headache forming as a cue to stop analyzing. "_Tommy's fine_," she tried to reason with herself, "_he's just…recovering from his trip." _

Using this as a mantra, Jude decided to get started on the laundry, starting with Tommy's duffle bag of clothes sitting by the door. She intended to drop the New Brunswick clothes directly in the wash like tainted material and opened to zipper to do so, but stopped short at the overwhelming smell of booze clinging to the clothes. She grimaced against the odor, completely put off by it in her pregnant state, and angered by it as well. What happened to not drinking? He promised he wouldn't…promised he wouldn't smoke either, she noted, her eye catching the corner of what looked to be a box of Newports tucked in the pocket of his jeans. She exhaled a sigh through her nose, "Don't freak out…don't freak out." She murmured to herself in a quiet reminder to avoid returning to her old, presuming self, and to be the more mature person she's become.

Tommy's wordless return came only seconds later, coming in to find Jude loitering in the laundry room, "Babe," He said, eyeing the duffle bag, "I was going to take of that."

"I know." Jude nodded, wondering if he could smell the alcohol drifting from it, "I just wanted to start a load…" She paused, reminding herself to remain rational, "Um, did you mistake tequila for cologne again?" She forced a joke, "It reeks in here."

Tommy approached her and dug a balled up shirt from his bag, cracking a slight smile, "No, I spilled some last night." He set the stained shirt aside and took over the task of filling the washer

Jude crossed her arms over her stomach and leaned her hip against the drier, staring at Tommy's back, "….You spilled?" She asked hesitantly, "What were you doing with tequila?"

Tommy shrugged one shoulder, "I had a few drinks."

"How much is a few?"

Tommy sighed, appearing aggravated all the sudden, "I don't know – a few."

Jude angrily pursed her lips, becoming defensive in response to Tommy's mood shift, "Enough to get drunk?"

"Yeah." Tommy admitted in a mutter

Jude watched Tommy hail the box of cigarettes toward the little trash can in the corner, missing by a long shot, "And you're smoking?" She accused

"I had _one_ cigarette," Tommy defended himself, "I was stressed."

Jude rolled her eyes, mumbling "Which is the same excuse for drinking, I bet." Before leaving the room

"Excuse?" Tommy demanded after her, "What excuse? It's the truth."

"What happened to no drinking?" Jude countered from the other room, openly pissed off now

Tommy all but slammed the washer lid shut and went down the hall to meet Jude in their room, "I was nowhere near you." He argued

"That doesn't matter, Tommy! You promised me you wouldn't drink."

"Because you're pregnant – and I was nowhere near you." He pressed his point again, harsher this time, "What's the big deal?"

Jude plopped on the edge of the bed, clasping her hands between her knees, "It's the principle! You promised you wouldn't and did."

"Sorry, mom, maybe you should explain the rules a little better next time." Tommy shook his head at her fuming face, more than a little pissed himself, "I can NOT believe you're actually mad at me about this."

"Yeah, you're right; you breaking promises should be common practice by now!" Jude retorted sarcastically

"Oh, here we go," Tommy growled, "I'm the big bad guy as usual."

"If you don't want to be, than don't act like one."

Tommy unleashed a glare in response, his anger fueled mainly by the last few days and less by the woman in front of him. Before he fully grasped this fact, though, he let lead him in the argument, "And you're so damn innocent," He continued, "Why don't you stop overreacting about every little thing?"

"This isn't a little thing," Jude said, looking offended, "You promised me something, than went back on it."

"Jude, it was _a drink_." Tommy hissed, "Calm the hell down."

"I'll calm down when you stop doing this to me!" Jude shouted in a burst of anger

"Doing what? I didn't know I couldn't fucking drink without you around!"

"Don't curse at me." Jude warned, feeling as though she were months in the past, dealing with another Tommy rampage

"Don't give me a reason to."

"What? I'm not allowed to mad when you screw up now?"

"I didn't do anything! God!" He growled, "What the hell do you want from me?"

"What do I want?" Jude asked, her voice rising an octave, "I want you to stop being so flaky! I want to feel supported – I want to feel like your wife!" She shouted the last word, her thoughts drifting back to her talk with Sadie

"You're sure as hell acting like one!" Tommy yelled in return, and watched as a flash of hurt crossed her recoiling expression

Jude tried to mask her offence best she could as she stood, "Fine." She spat, storming toward the door "You don't want wife, feel free to find yourself a girlfriend." Her words were followed by the loud slam of the bedroom door, leaving Tommy alone, fuming.

Jude went for her shoes immediately, ready to take off for the night, for the week, for the rest of her life for all she cared; she just needed to be away from here. The second her hand touched the doorknob, however, she couldn't find it in her to actually leave. Her leaving would only send them steps back in the improvement they've been making, and would put them back in their same old cycles. She didn't want that. A single tear trickled down her cheek, still reeling from the hurt of Tommy's statement as she forced herself to settle on the couch, planning on spending the night there instead.


	35. Chapter 35

Tommy was alerted to a sound in the kitchen a couple hours after him and Jude's fight. It was well after 1am by now, and he had figured she'd fallen asleep while he finished up a few edits of demos on his laptop, so he took this as a cue to go check on her. There was nothing he hated more than fighting with Jude, especially when it ends with her crying. Despite the efforts he's made in keeping a cool head, he wasn't fully there yet, and his actions earlier were painful evidence of that. With a deep breath and an apology resting at the tip of his tongue, Tommy wandered down the darkened hallway, finding Jude scooping ice cream into a bowl. "Hey." He said hesitantly

Jude glanced blankly once in his direction before mindlessly digging another bowl from the cupboard, and handing it to him, "Hi."

Tommy managed a small smile at the gesture; she knew he really couldn't resist a late night snack once it was in front of him. Leaving the ice cream on the counter, Jude brought her bowl to the opposing counter to her treat off with syrup. They maneuvered around each other in silence for a moment before Tommy decided he had to be the one to start the conversation. He turned and set his ice cream next to Jude's, "I'm sorry." He said quietly

Jude returned her spoon to its bowl, it hit the glass with a loud clink, "Don't be," She sighed, "We _both_ overreacted."

"But still, I didn't mean what I said – I didn't mean to get mad either – I'm just…stressed."

Jude nodded in understanding, taking a bite, "I didn't mean to blow up like that," She flashed an apologetic smile, "Sorry."

Tommy reached forward and brought her in for a hug by the waist, holding her in a loving squeeze, "I seriously didn't know I couldn't drink," He said, pulling back, "I thought that was something I couldn't do with you around."

"I know – and it really wasn't the drinking itself, it was the fact that you said you wouldn't while you were there, and did. But I get it," She added, "I've been there, I know that place leads you to dark places, and I could've been more understanding."

Tommy smiled warmly, overwhelmed with the feeling of accordance and companionship Jude always seemed to provide him so effortlessly. She's been there, she gets it, as usual. "So could I." He agreed, constantly reminding himself that Jude, essentially, isn't in control of her emotions and being a tad more patient with her than usual wouldn't hurt.

"Fight over?"

Tommy nodded and pecked her on the lips, blindly reaching back and bringing a spoonful of ice cream to her lips. "Is ice cream your new thing now?"

Jude groaned quietly, "I've been craving it like crazy all day, but I hope it doesn't stick, I'm going to be huge as it is."

Tommy rolled his eyes and offered her another bite, "You need to relax, babe. Allow yourself to be pregnant without all the vanity issues."

"I know I should," She sighed, "It's a working progress."

"As am I."

Jude smiled and shook her head, "You've been incredibly supportive and so amazing lately – I don't know if I tell you that enough," She dipped her gaze, figuring now as good a time as any to bring up what she's been dodging, "I just…I don't know, want to be heard more, I guess. I want to really feel like we're getting married and that I'm your wife."

Tommy took in what she said for a moment before wordlessly leaning down and hooking his arm behind her knees, sweeping her up against his chest. Ignoring her surprised gasp, he – with effort – opened the freezer door and nudged his chin toward the container of ice cream, "Grab that."

Jude furrowed her brow in question, holding the icy cylinder between her palms, "What are you doing?"

Tommy motioned for Jude to get the spoons from their now empty bowls – she did – and headed into the living room where he put her down on the sofa closest to the fireplace, "We are," He took a seat on the cushion next to her, facing her, "talking this out."

Jude eyed him skeptically, a slightly confused smile playing on her lips, "Okay."

Tommy popped the lid off the ice cream and set it between them, taking a large bite, "You were saying?"

Jude eyed his action with a playful narrowing if her eyes, "Neanderthal." She commented, than continued, "I don't know if it's the apartment, but this still feels like _your_ place. I haven't even gotten all my stuff here yet."

"We have to move anyway," Tommy offered, "Peanut's gonna need a room."

Jude grinned in response to Tommy's use of their baby's nickname and dug her spoon into the creamy dessert.

"Now," He went on, "What do you need from me – why don't you feel like I'm hearing you?"

Jude titled her head a little, her gaze almost questioning as she studied the man before her. When did he become so…not Tommy? It's her own fault for not noticing this particular stride in his maturity. For the first time in a while, she felt like he was not only trying to make it work, but putting effort into it. Appreciative of his openness, Jude quietly went over the things that have been bothering her, including requests to be better acknowledged when spoken – using their qualm over the New Brunswick issue as the main example. Tommy conversed with understanding, and offered up a few counter problems as well, which she received just as acceptingly. He went over his trip with as much detail as Jude wanted, seeming not all uncomfortable with the subject matter.

Their talk lasted until the ice cream was reduced to a chocolate pool in the bottom of its container.

"It's so hard to imagine that we can deal with it all," Jude said thickly, expressing her worries of working, keeping their relationship together with such hectic schedules, and adding a baby to it all, "I'm so scared of us losing each other."

"We won't," Tommy encouraged, "We're too strong and stubborn to let it slip for good."

"Easier said than done."

Noticing the slight glistening of a tear rolling down Jude's cheek, Tommy moved forward a little and grasped Jude's face between his hands, "You know what we're gonna do?" He asked, wiping her tears away with his thumbs, "We're going to buy a big house with fifteen rooms because at the rate we're going, we'll be giving the Duggars a run for their money," That elicited a breathy laugh from Jude, considering she's managed to get pregnant twice in six months, "We'll get married very soon, take an extended honeymoon, and we'll ease off work when the baby's here – you have nothing to worry about."

"But what about your album? We're still just barely working on it, it'll be almost done seven months from now, and Darius will want you to tour…"

"Everything will work out," Tommy said, fully confident, "Trust me. We're us, we're going to make it happen somehow."

"You're sure about that?"

"Positive."

Taking comfort in his optimism, Jude flashed a smile and pressed her lips to his in a loving, thankful kiss.

"Oh, there's another thing I need to do before the baby comes," Tommy added, dropping his hands from her face, moving them to her lap, "Something Selena said has been bothering me."

Jude groaned inwardly, "You shouldn't listen to a word she says."

"I know, but this is actually important…I don't want to be a moron forever, especially with our kids." Tommy paused to meet Jude's gaze, "I'm getting my GED."

Jude's eyes widened slightly with surprise, "You are?" She smiled, "Tommy, that's great, but don't feel like you have to-"

"I want to. It's just something I need to do."

"Okay," Jude nodded, "Let's get it done then."

"We'll get it all done," Tommy promised, fighting off a yawn, "And successfully at that."

Jude brought Tommy into her arms, locking them around his neck while he pulled her onto his lap, for once feeling like she was on solid ground; Tommy wasn't going to back out this time. Her stomach fluttered with excitement at the thought. "I know we will."


	36. Chapter 36

Well into the next morning, Jude departed from Darius' office after a lengthy conversation regarding her new scheduling, explaining that while she appreciated the opportunity, she requests that Tommy be given his old routine back. She hoped Tommy wouldn't find offence in this gesture like he did the last time she took his artist assignments into her own hands, but figured that even if he did, he'll thank her for it eventually.

"Someone had a good time last night." Brendon commented as Jude crossed his path, eyeing the happiness evident in her features with a hint of bitterness

Jude turned toward him with a furrowed brow, "What?"

Brendon rolled his eyes, "You know what," He smiled, "So you and the boyfriend got down and dirty last night, huh?"

Taken a bit back by his forwardness, Jude blinked surprise and stuttered out a response, "Uh, no - not that it's any of your business."

Brendon grinned arrogantly, calling her bluff with an explanation, "It's written all over your face, doll."

Jude denied his words with a shake of her head, "I'm just happy."

"And satisfied." Brendon mumbled into his coffee as he lifted his mug for a gulp of the burning liquid just soft enough for Jude to miss

Jude inhaled the scent of coffee with an inward envious groan, feeling the exhaustion that was usually cured by a cup or two...or three.

"Want some?" Brendon asked, following her gaze to his steaming mug

"No." Jude said quickly and rounded the hospitality counter to grab a bottle of water from the mini fridge

"Since when?"

"You know, coffee's really not good for you." Jude said, intercepting the question

Brendon scoffed, muttering a tease of, "Health nut" before directing his attention to the approaching figure of Jude's sister, quietly appraising her figure before offering a smile, "Jude's sister." He greeted with wandering eyes that made Sadie uncomfortable

"Hey." Sadie responded flatly, "I need to borrow Jude for a minute." She paired the urgency of her tone with a grip on Jude's arm, pulling her toward the nearest empty studio

"Geez, Sadie!" Jude complained, "What's your damage?"

Sadie paused with a huff, remembering Brendon's greeting, "There was a time when all you were was my sister." She griped

"Yeah, in high school."

"Whatever," Sadie dismissed and held up a magazine cover, "Have you seen this."

Jude examined the tabloid for a moment, than groaned at the picture of her and Brendon seemingly cuddled up closed together on a couch in the club Sadie dragged her to the other night. Brendon's hand was rested high up on her thigh just below the hem of her ridden-up tight dress, making it look like he was the one who'd pushed it up, "No." Jude answered Sadie's question with a sigh, taking the headlines surrounding the picture, claiming an affair, "Has Tommy seen it?"

"I don't know, he's not in yet." Sadie paused to shake her head disapprovingly at Jude, "How could you let something like this happen?"

"What do you mean?"

"I keep telling you to keep away from Brendon in public - and why are you letting him touch you like that?"

"I didn't let him do anything!" Jude defended herself, "He put his hand there, I shoved it away."

"Not quick enough apparently." Sadie muttered before turning the page to another picture of Jude and Brendon in nearly the exact same position, just with Brendon's mouth hovering at Jude's ear and smiling in response to whatever he was whispering, "And this?"

Jude yanked the tabloid from Sadie's hands, "Whatever! It's not true, you know that."

"We know that, but the country doesn't. We have to do major damage control before this gets out of hand."

Jude gritted her teeth, really, really, wanting coffee right now, "What's Darius saying about this?"

"Nothing, it just came out. I wanted to get it to you first so you weren't blindsided."

Jude nodded, "Okay," She breathed, "Let me explain to Tommy before you tell Darius."

"Do it quick." Sadie urged Jude out the open doorway, "And keep him away from Brendon, we don't need a homicide in tomorrow's tabloid."

Sadie must have seen Tommy coming because less then a second of standing the hallway, Tommy turned the corner and greeted Jude with his famous smile and a look that belonged only to her. She exhaled a bit shakily as he approached and pecked her once softly on the lips, "Hey." She smiled

"Uh-huh." The sarcastic voice of Brendon filled Jude's ear as he passed the couple, she turned to glare at him.

"What was that about?" Tommy asked casually

"Nothing," Jude mumbled, than offered her best smile of innocence, "I need to talk to you."

Knowing the look all to well, Tommy sighed, "What'd you do?"

"Nothing on purpose." She answered vaguely, then led them to the confines of studio C, where she seated Tommy and handed him the tabloid, "It's not what it looks like." She said

Tommy's happy face from moments before was completely diminished now, glaring at the picture, "What the hell are you wearing?"

"A dress Sadie talked me into...and Brendon, he just came up next to me and we talked for a minute, then I left."

For a split second, Tommy's angry eyes landed on Jude before returning to the article attached to the second picture, "That prick." He growled under his breath.

Jude waited hesitantly, watching the emotions cross over Tommy's face before he finally dropped the magazine to his lap, "Are you mad at me?"

Tommy propped his elbow up on the arm of the chair, his hand reaching up to cup his chin, "No." He decided, "I trust you; if you say it's nothing, than it's nothing."

"And it really is" Jude promised

"He likes you." Tommy told her seriously, "Too much." He added with a glare

"I know."

"I don't like this," Tommy admitted, "I don't like that you're so comfortable with him."

"I'm not."

"You are - and he's way too comfortable with you."

Jude took a deep breath, and offered a sympathetic shrug, "I guess that's bound to happen, I mean, we work together."

Tommy remained quiet for a moment, considering what he wanted to do against what he should do. Nothing would please him more then ramming his fist into Brendon's face for lying his hands on Jude, and using the time Tommy away to move in on her, but he restrained himself, knowing that while anger was his first impulse, it wasn't always the best course of action. "Just be careful." He finally said "He'll try anything to get you."

Jude smiled softly and perched herself on his lap, "He can't have me."

"That's not what he thinks."

"Who cares what he thinks?" Jude leaned down and pressed her lips to Tommy's, who stiffly returned the kiss, "I'm yours and that's all that matters."

His mind still fantasizing about wreaking Brendon and that face of his, Tommy's answering nod was slow and distracted.

Jude sighed and hastily changed the subject, trying to calm Tommy down fully before he went out and faced Brendon again, "I talked to Darius this morning."

Tommy's eyes rose to meet hers, "About what?"

"I fixed your schedule," Jude announced as optimistically as she could manage, "You have all your old artists back."

Successfully on a completely new train of thought, Tommy's brow furrowed with confusion, "Why? I told you I was fine."

"I know you, Tommy. You hated it. Besides, I don't want to take your job from you; you're way more passionate about it then I am." Jude told him honestly, "And better too."

"But what about the other artists?"

"I'm taking those over - we switched schedules, pretty much."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I did. You earned to be where you are, it wasn't fair for Darius to take it away from you...I think I have a few more dues to pay before I can be considered Gmajor royalty."

"I'm Gmajor royalty?"

"Mmhmm." Jude murmured, "You are the VP after all, so I guess it's back to plowing the fields with the other peasants for me."

Tommy grinned, amused, "Guess so." He reached up and stroked her hair, "Thank you."

"Anytime."


	37. Chapter 37

Making it to the second trimester with both her and the baby intact quickly became Jude's main goal the second she found out the dramatic drop in miscarriage odds after the first trimester. Taking in every book and word of advise her doctor, Chelsea, gave her, she was fully confident in her ability to make this goal possible. Her only enemy now, was time. With five weeks remaining in her first trimester, the hours passed like days most of the time, and the days like weeks. Tommy urged her to keep her anxiety in check, and she did by throwing her mind into work as much as she could; and aside from the sickness Jude swore wasn't limited to mornings (and that who ever coined the term should be shot) it wasn't a difficult thing to do, especially when working with Tommy on his album. Their progress has been minimal but productive; Darius was in the dark, any they've successfully recorded and mastered three songs, breaking Tommy's bet of only making it to two before Darius found out. Bouts of bickering came and went as usual, the last one consisting of a stern argument from Jude, insisting that Tommy remove the line "I see angels and devils and God when you come" from his latest project to no avail.

The house searching hit the back burner to wedding plans as of the last week when Jude began to notice a slight, but defined, bump emerging from her abdomen. While elated at the sight of it, she was determined to get married before wearing a dress could become a problem. Tommy argued he didn't see any difference, but he's learned over the last couple weeks that arguing with Jude about stuff like this was completely fruitless. She sees what she sees, end of conversation. One thing Tommy did notice, and was coming to greatly appreciate was the still-expanding growth of her chest. Jude rolled her eyes at this, but was secretly pleased by this new progress, especially since it's opened up a whole new category of wedding dress options.

Sadie, who can be considered the wedding planner by this point, has been trying to push Tommy and Jude into a big wedding; insisting that they'll only get married once (well, in Tommy's case, twice) and it needing to be a big deal. They shot the idea down profusely, both wanting a small, beautiful wedding without any craziness. Sadie thoroughly disputed the matter with no progress. They were determined to get exactly what they want in every aspect of they're lives.

_I miss the sound of your voice, I miss the rush of your skin__And I miss the still of the silence as you breathe out and I breathe in If I could walk on water, if I could tell you what's next I'd make you believe, make you forget_

_Come on get higher, loosen my lips Faith and desire in the swing of your hips Pull me down hard, and drown me in love So, come on get higher, loosen my lips Faith and desire in the swing of your hips Pull me down hard and drown me in love_

_I miss the sound of your voice, the loudest thing in my head And I ache to remember all the violent, sweet, perfect words you said If I could walk on water, if I could tell you what's next I'd make you believe, make you forget_

_Come on get higher, loosen my lips Faith and desire in the swing of your hips Pull me down hard, and drown me in love So, come on get higher, loosen my lips Faith and desire in the swing of your hips Pull me down hard and drown me in love_

_I miss the pull of your heart, I can taste the sparks on your tongue And I see angels and devil and God when you come..._

Jude scowled and yanked the CD from the player in her laptop, returning it to its paper sleeve. It was only the rough draft, she tried to remind herself of that, and that there's always time to talk him out of it. A glance at the clock informed her it was just about 3AM, reminding her she's had incredible trouble sleeping lately. Between work and wedding plans and feeling nauseous, there really hasn't been much time for it.

"Here, babe." Tommy murmured tiredly from behind her, handing a mug over her shoulder, "Maybe this'll help."

Jude set her laptop aside and inhaled the warm scent of tea, "What kind is this?"

"Ginger - it's supposed to help nausea." Tommy rounded the couch and retrieved Jude's laptop, taking a seat next to her

"You can go to bed if you want, babe." Jude offered sympathetically, sipping at her drink, "I'm probably going to be up all night."

Tommy cleared his throat, his exhaustion evident in his drooping eyes, "No, I'm fine. I've got work to do anyway."

Jude moved over and rested her head on Tommy's upper arm, sitting quietly while he reviewed the latest material given to him by the work-at-your-own-pace online GED guide. Having had really no expectations at to how well he'd do with school work, Jude wasn't really surprised at how well he was doing - he's always been a quick learner - she was just proud. He's made his way to to a high school level in only a matter of a few weeks. She watched him work through equations for a while, ones she actually know how to do herself, and finished off the last of her tea, waiting for it to take effect.

"Feeling any better?" Tommy asked a few minutes later, taking the empty mug from her hand and setting it on the end table

Jude sighed and wrapped both arms around his bicep, her head still resting on his shoulder, "Not really." She answered, feeling the sloshly feeling rolling around in her stomach, "I am tired, though."

Tommy switched over to Jude's demo file, skimming over the titles of her latest mixes, "What are you working on?"

"The new Drunk Talk demo."

Tommy barely hid his eye roll; Darius' newly signed band had been assigned to Jude immediately, and ever since they've come off as a bunch of morons with big egos. "Stupid band name." He muttered

Jude smirked, "They're not so bad - they're new song is actually pretty good."

"You're sticking up for a pop band?" Tommy chuckled, "I've gotta hear this."

"It's not bad" Jude insisted

Tommy brought up the file and opened it in ProTools, "Do you come up with this intro?"

Jude nodded, "Yup. This was only lyrics when I got my hands on it."

"Catchy," He commented before adding the vocal track to the mix, "Has Darius heard this yet?"

Jude shook her head, "It's due tomorrow."

Tommy listened through the song in it's entirety with a slight sting of envy; this song was going to jump to the top of the charts, making this a second number one produced hit from Jude, the first being Brendon's song, Not Your Birthday. The bands he had, Karma included weren't doing much of anything chart wise. "Who knew you'd be so good at making pop albums?"

"Not me," Jude pursed her lips thoughtfully, "It's actually pretty weird."

"I blame the pregnancy." Tommy joked

Jude smirked, "That's right - peanut's half boybander." She inhaled with a quiet shake of her head

"Wondering what you see in me?" Tommy guessed

Jude nodded, "Yup."

Tommy grinned and leaned down to press a kiss to her temple before closing the webpage, giving both him and Jude a look at the ultrasound picture Jude was using as her desktop, one that was taken this morning for her week nine check up with Chelsea. The little flicker of a heartbeat plainly visible this time. "I'm starting to think it's a boy." Tommy said

"Really?" Jude answered, surprised; they'd both been thinking it was a girl "What makes you say that?"

Tommy shrugged, "Just a feeling."

"I still think it's a girl."

"Well, I guess we'll have to wait and see."

Jude smiled softly at the thought of her baby. Boy or girl, she was happy. Her and Tommy have been in quiet debate as to when to find out the sex, though. Chelsea encourages keeping it a mystery until birth, but they've been unsure, both wanting to plan ahead, but still tempted by the thought of a surprise at delivery.

Slowly, and with a somewhat pained groan, Jude stood, the action dropping the hem of Tommy's t-shirt to hang mid-thigh; the bulge of her breasts plainly visible. Tommy watched her walk away with a small, longing, groan of his own, wishing they had more time for that half of their relationship.

Late into the next day, Jude departed from studio B, a paper sleeve in hand, and headed for Darius' office. Having already discussed taking the weekend off for Tommy's birthday, she didn't expect any trouble when reminding him she and Tommy won't be in the following day. "Hey, D," She said flatly, still feeling queasy, "I have the demo you asked...for." Her words trailed off when she looked up and found two pairs of eyes staring at her; one Darius, and the other Brendon. "What's going on?"

Darius grinned the grin that meant Jude wasn't going to like what he was about to say, and spurred a new kind of nausea in Jude's stomach, "Have a seat." He said cheerfully, bringing a frown from Jude - she'd been hoping this would be a quick chore.

Once she was seated, Brendon gave her a smile similar to Darius' "Hey, tiger."

Jude muttered an indistinct greeting under her breath, not making eye contact with him, too busy staring at Darius

"As you know," Darius begun, "Brendon here only has one more performance before being crowned Canada's Instant Star."

"I know." Jude mumbled, still confused as to why Darius let Brendon in on the fix that would eventually name him the winner. When Brendon found out, though, he didn't change his tactics at all like Jude expected he might; he's been a strong competitor, actually.

"The finale's on Sunday." Darius edged

Jude caught on immediately with a claim of, "I'm not doing the finale, D. We discussed this."

"That discussion happened before I heard your new single."

Jude glanced between him and Brendon, confused, "What new single?"

Darius wordlessly lifted the remote that controlled his stereo with a glint that made Jude nervous. Less than a second later, the sound of her own voice flooded the room, singing in a melody she hadn't even thought about in weeks:

_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?_  
><em>Well, that's alright because I like the way it hurts Just gonna stand there and hear me cry?<em>  
><em>Well, that's alright because I love the way you lie I love the way you lie<em>

"What the hell?" She demanded, the familiar, painful lyrics bringing a wince to her eyes, "You recorded me?" She shrieked at Brendon

Brendon offered a somewhat apologetic smile, "It's too a song to let sit on a shelf."

In a rush of anger, Jude shoved up from the chair and yanked the CD from the stereo, "I don't care what you think, this doesn't belong to you, D."

"It was recorded in my studio," Darius reminded her lightly, "Which legally makes it our property now."

"I don't care," Jude said defiantly, "I don't want to release it."

"And according to your contract, you don't have to." Darius said, "But you do have to add it to the Gmajor library if you're not going to use it."

"Why?" Jude glared at him, knowing there was a bottom line here, "What do you want with it."

"Brendon needs a song for his finale performance, and with him rapping on that track? Gold."

Jude scowled down at Brendon, angry at him for the first time in a while. Since that horrible article about them surfaced, and speculators named them an affair couple, she's been keeping her distance, seeing him only at work, no exceptions. But in these last few weeks working together, they'd managed to bloom a friendship Jude thought to be sincere, so this betrayal not only pissed her off, it hurt her as well. "You want it?" Jude asked him

"I came up with some wicked verses." Brendon announced cockily, "But I don't want it unless you're singing on the chorus."

"Too bad." Jude spat

"Okay," Darius stood, cutting to the chase, "Either you put in the library for another artist to record, or you sing it with Brendon at the finale."

"I can't do that, D!" Jude argued, "It's too personal."

"This would be a huge boost on my career." Brendon said, "And yours too."

"Do you have any idea how big this is gonna hit?" Darius continued Brendon's thought, "World wide number 1"

"I don't care." Jude hissed through her teeth

Darius shrugged, "It's up to you. I'll give you the night to think it over."

"I won't be in tomorrow."

"You have to be...if you insist on not using that track, you and Brendon have to get started on a finale piece asap."

"But D-"

"I'll need Tommy in too," Darius added coldly, "I'm sure there's something that needs to get done around here - like his album, for starters."

Jude's mouth fell slightly ajar, "How did you-"

"I have ears all over," Darius told her, "And I don't like you and Tommy working behind my back like that - you're lucky I don't shelf the whole thing right now."

"Darius," Jude demanded, appalled, "You can't it away from him-"

"I can." Darius rounded his desk and crossed his arms, "And I might, depending on what you decide."

Jude furrowed her brow into an almost pained expression, "Are you saying if I don't do the finale you'll stop production on Tommy's album?"

Darius only shrugged in response before offering a seemingly friendly smile, "Talk to you in the morning, Jude."

Jude glared down at Brendon before storming from the office.

* * *

><p>Hey, I just wanted to take a second to thank everyone who has read and reviewed this story, and my other one Let me Stay. Your comments are so kind and flattering and I truly appreciate it! 3 Thank you so much.<p> 


	38. Chapter 38

Jude couldn't sit still. Every thought that passed her mind triggered a nervous gesture in response and kept her fingers drumming on the the fabric of her cotton sweat pants. It wasn't very often she found herself in a strictly lose/lose situation, especially when so much rode on which losing side she decided to be on. The thought of letting the song go to another singer presented itself with a noticeable ache. She couldn't imagine having another voice speak words that were so close to her, so personal. That voice wouldn't understand the meaning of them, would come to it's own naive conclusions and display the kind of false emotion that came with performing a song that isn't yours. She considered writing another, better, song to please Darius enough to forget about Love The Way You Lie, but crushed that idea immediately; Darius was too determined, and it would take all weekend to come up with another song.

Tommy didn't ask for much in regards to material things, and rarely ever specified wanting anything for any occasion. But this year, while Jude was in the midst of trying to pry a birthday gift idea from him he tiredly murmured out that he wanted to spend the day with her without the stresses of life and work weighing on their minds. He wanted an opportunity to relax. And while Tommy wan't expecting her to seriously make it happen - all their scheduling came from the heavy hand of Darius, and work was simply too insane for a break - she shamelessly begged and bargained and worked hours of overtime that granted them both weekend off. To say Tommy was extremely grateful for this would be an immense understatement. The loving surprised look on his face made Jude's heart flutter, happy to have made him happy. Telling him now that, due to a decision she made, Darius is forcing him to work over the weekend he's been looking forward to would make her feel terrible. Not to mention having to tell him that Darius is considering shelving his album due to said decision. Jude quietly shook her head...she could do that to Tommy. She couldn't be the one responsible for having his album taken way from him, especially since it's taken him so long to build up the courage to try again.

"I have to do it." Jude whispered to the empty living room, tentatively making her decision. The effect the song itself would have on Tommy seemed far less than the alternative. She would just have to explain that it was written as an outlet and it shouldn't be something to feel bad about...he's an artist too, he'll understand...hopefully. Jude's nervously drumming fingers hit an uptempo as her mind, once again, rounded the vicious circle it's been trapped in for hours. No matter which way she went, Tommy would be hurt somehow. She couldn't imagine the potential backlash that would result in Tommy hearing the song. Tommy's ability to back peddle was one Jude was very familiar with, he could so easily go right back into old ways, old thinking, and she wasn't sure she could handle it.

Again, Jude carefully debated both decisions and came to another tentative conclusion; so long as all she had to do was sing the chorus, than it shouldn't be so bad. Her own version could be spared and replaced with whatever Brendon planned on doing with it. She nodded to herself, finally able to see some sort of compromise. Maybe Tommy didn't have to hear the song at all, maybe she can convince Darius that - along with her cooperation - he'll still allow them to work on Tommy's album in private. "Maybe." She said aloud, beginning to calm down, "It'll be fine."

Mercifully, Jude was brought from her jumbled mass of thoughts by the sound of a key in the door. Following that was the ruffled sound of plastic grocery bags and Tommy coming up behind her, "Hey baby." He greeted, an undertone of confusion in his voice, "What are you doing?"

Jude cleared her throat and turned, forcing a smile to her lips, "Nothing."

Tommy took in the quiet living room with a furrowed brow, "I can see that." He leaned down and pecked her on the lips, and was ready to pull back when he noticed streaks of tears on her cheeks, "Are you crying?" he asked softly, studying her face with concern

Jude reached up and swiped her fingers against her cheek, and sure enough, there was moisture there. She stared down at her dampened hand, unable to comprehend how she hadn't realized she'd been crying, "I was uh," she began, rubbing the salty moisture between two fingers, "Watching a movie and this guy's wife died," She looked up at him, hoping her sheepish smile looked believable, "And my hormones got involved."

"TV's off, babe." Tommy pointed out

"I turned it off," Jude sniffled, "It too sad." She shrugged, rummaging up a chuckle, "Pregnancy made me weird."

Tommy weighed her sanity for a moment before heading for the kitchen, "Weirder" He snarked playfully

Jude shook her head, trying to put herself in the right mindset to be normal for Tommy. Still in debate as to how things will turn up after this weekend, she decided not to follow his comment with a witty rebuttal and set her brain into planning mode. "Did you guys have fun?" She asked

Tommy laughed, "Yeah, it was good time."

"Glad to hear it."

Tommy returned to the living room and took a seat next to Jude, "Down side of hanging out with Kwest, though, is that he brings all of NBR with him now."

"Jamie was there?"

Tommy nodded, "And Spiederman and that new band they're working with." He rolled his eyes, "Would've been more fun with you there."

Jude smiles, "I'm here now."

Tommy returned the gesture and leaned over to kiss her thoroughly, pulling her close to his side, "So," He mumbled against her lips, "We have all weekend, huh?"

Jude hesitantly answered with a quiet, "Uh huh."

Tommy held his lips firmer against hers and began guiding Jude down when he noticed something, "What's that?" He asked, breaking the kiss

Jude looked over her shoulder at the wrapped gift propped up against the wall and flashed a teasing smile, "Nothing."

"Nothing, huh?"

Jude kept him in place with a firm hold on his leather jacket and tried to coax him back into a kiss, "Mmhmm."

Tommy eyes narrowed, "Then why can't I go look at it?"

"Cuz things are much more interesting over here." Jude murmured, sealing her point with a trail of kisses along his jaw line

Tommy kissed her back when her lips made their way back to his, but kept his eyes on the shiny wrapping, "What'd you get me?"

"Nothing major," Jude admitted, "Just something for us."

Tommy's eyebrows rose, "For us?...As in something you put on, and I take off?"

Jude rolled her eyes, "No...well, not in that one, anyway."

"There's more?"

Giving up, Jude pecked him on the lips and stood, "Yes, but you can't have any of it until tomorrow."

Tommy huffed, disappointed, then turned to resume what he was starting with Jude, but found her gone, "Hey," he objected, looking around, "Where'd you go?"

"You had your chance." Jude called from the hallway, "And besides, we have to get going."

Tommy shoved up from the couch, following Jude into the bedroom, "Where are we going?"

"You'll find out soon enough."

Tommy smiled, intrigued by the surprises to come, "Where are you taking me, Harrison?"

Jude gathered her phone from where it sat charging, offering a casual shrug of her shoulders, "Don't worry about it." She quietly took note of the blissful atmosphere surrounding them, and sent Brendon a quick text message before enveloping Tommy in a loving embrace, deciding that she would do anything to keep them happy like this, no matter what it might cost her. 


	39. Chapter 39

By the time Jude and Tommy made it to their destination, Tommy had already formulated an idea of where they were headed, and Jude bringing the car to a secluded stop amongst a gathering of trees confirmed it. "Wait here." Jude said before disappearing into the dark woods around them.

Tommy cast a slightly wary glance out the passenger side window; it was rare they came to their little hiding place in the woods at night. Not at all since he'd first left for New Brunswick. He couldn't help thinking over all that's changed since then, since the most peaceful time of his life. He looks over that brief bubble of calm with a bit of bitterness now; he had it and managed to tear it all down with one seemingly minor decision. Just a couple weeks in his hometown…where's the harm in that? The series of events that followed were still too much to think about without it brewing up some sort of negative response on his part. Jude was right, it would be all too easy to fall back in the persuasive pull of his dark thoughts, dragging him back for another round in the vicious circle he's been spinning for years. He's gotten good at avoiding it, though, and as long as it's avoided, it gets easier to forget. But when Jude returned, her face illuminated only by the light of the flashlight in her hands, Tommy was reminded, again, by the hairline scar interrupting the otherwise flawless skin that he'll never be able to truly forget.

Jude smiled at Tommy through the glass separating them and motioned for him to follow. Leaving all bad thoughts behind him, Tommy eagerly exited the car and jogged to catch up with Jude, slinging his arm around her neck, "Last time I checked, you hated this place at night."

Jude brought her free hand up to join with his, resting her head in the crook of his neck, "Hate's a strong word," She murmured, "And tonight's not about me, it's about you. You wanted to get away, and it doesn't get much more private than this." She finished, stepping into their clearing, where a small flickering fire awaited them. Behind it rested a large wool blanket, topped with a basket and the wrapped gift Tommy had his eye on earlier.

"You finished the fire pit?" Tommy asked, admiring the scene of serenity before him. He'd forgotten all about the fire pit he and Jude started a while back in anticipation for cool weather

"Finished it a long time ago," Jude answered quietly with a shrug of her shoulders, "Right after you…left, actually." She added the last part with a slightly depressed quality, indicating that she finished the project thinking he'd be around soon to use it. "Do you like it?"

Tommy's grip dropped to loop around her waist, smiling down at her, "I love it."

Jude grinned in response and led him to the pile of blankets concealing the moist ground beneath their feet.

Tommy nudged his chin toward the gift lying next to them, "Do I get to open that now?"

Jude shook her head, a small smirk playing on her lips; as much as Tommy claimed an uncaring for gifts, he was doing a terrible job of showing it. "Business first." She explained, checking the clock on her phone before pulling a plate from within the basket. The midnight birthday dessert has become a tradition of sorts over the past couple years, one Jude insisted remain constant, and one she tried to top every year; last birthday was Tiramisu, this year, slices of caramel cheesecake. Jude leaned over and lit the wick of a candle in the fire before propping it in Tommy's slice, "Make a wish." She whispered

Tommy smiled before ceremoniously closing his eyes and blowing out the candle. His eyes once again on Jude, Tommy tenderly brushed the hair from her face, placing a kiss first on her cheek, than her lips, "Thank you, baby."

"Anything for you." [i]Anything[/i] Jude repeated mentally, thinking of her upcoming performance with Brendon. She considered sharing the ordeal with Tommy but decided to hold off until things were settled with Darius, until Tommy's album was absolutely safe. If Tommy lost his temper now, who knows what Darius will do to his album?

Their plastic forks made quick work of the treat while the crackling fire soon rendered their sweaters unnecessary. They sat in silence mainly, relishing in the moment of peace both knew wouldn't last forever. After a while, Tommy brought his fork to Jude's lips, offering her his last bite before replacing his empty plate to the basket. Jude's plate followed after. "Life going alright so far?" She asked quietly, a playful smile on her lips, remembering Tommy asking her that exact question on her eighteenth birthday

Tommy's responding smile was lighter, thoughtful. Has it really only been a year since his last birthday? Seems like a whole lifetime ago. With all the drama and emotional distress brought on by the past year, he wasn't sure he even felt like the same person. Last year, he and Jude were relatively new in relationship, unbelievably happy. His career proceeding flawlessly. Completely settled into his life, a life he tentatively considered a happy one…until disaster struck. But after it all, all those same fragments have managed to resettle - He and Jude are unbelievably happy, his career is actually improving, he's settled, ready to buy a house and have a baby – but have all landed differently, it seems. Better. Was all that bad really a necessity to get where he is now? Probably. In this moment, there wasn't a thing he needed or wanted for…he might actually be happy. "Perfectly." He answered honestly, seeing no other way of looking at it.

"Good to know."

Tommy glanced over at Jude, his eyes taking in the exposed skin of her arms, glowing in the fire light, "What about you - happy so far?"

Jude swallowed a sip of milk from a bottle, "Extremely so." She eyed the silver wrap containing Tommy's gift and shifted a bit nervously, "You wanna open that now?"

Tommy eagerly brought the large, flat rectangle to his lap and ripped the paper, wasting no time doing it neatly. Jude's bottom lip remained wedged between her teeth while Tommy unwrapped, than took in the framed photo. "I got it in the mail the other day," Jude explained, peering over Tommy's shoulder at the picture taken at their photo-shoot. It was close up shot, showing Tommy's arms wrapped securely around Jude with her head resting against his chest, her eyes peacefully drawn closed, as were his, "And had it framed and edited…"

About a week ago, in the middle of one of Sadie's unofficial wedding planning meetings, she brought up the topic of their vows. Neither Jude nor Tommy could decide right then on whether they wanted traditional or to write their own, and were still questioning it, so when Tommy read the words [i]Never one without the other[/i] printed in elegant font along the bottom of the photo, he understood the meaning immediately. It was her first vow to him.

"It doesn't matter what we tell the world." Jude said, as if able to read Tommy's thoughts, "All that matters are the vows we keep between us…and I promise, as long as I can help it, that we'll always be together."

Tommy stared at the picture, taking in Jude's words along with the bliss evident on her face as she relaxed, nestled in his arms. He finally met her anxious gaze with a loving smile, speaking in a soft whisper, "And I promise to keep you safe, and happy. Always." Not able to wait any longer, Tommy's lips met Jude's in a soft, yet hungry kiss, his hands cradling her face. He forced a swallow in his thick throat, attempting to clear it some. Jude returned the kiss with a similar passion, her arms lacing around his neck as he pulled her up to straddle his lap. When Tommy's lips finally departed for air, and began kissing Jude's neck, she gently ran her fingers through his hair, panting, "Let's go home."

Greedily drinking in the taste of her skin, Tommy wordlessly shook his head and laid her back, his kissing creating a path across her throat.

"Tommy," Jude giggled, "Let's go home," she repeated, "You know, to a bed," and with a glance at the dark trees resting outside the glow of the fire, adding, "And walls."

Tommy brought his face to hover over hers, "I want you," He smiled, pecking her lips, "Right now."

"Here?"

"Yeah." Tommy breathed and held Jude's hips between his hands, just above her jean line, "It's perfect."

Whatever objection Jude had prepared was lost in a quiet groan when Tommy began massaging her lower abdomen with his thumbs, using just enough pressure to cause her hips to shift longingly. "No fair." She breathed, her fingers picking at his shirt until he paused to remove it completely. With Tommy kneeling over her, Jude took the opportunity to run her fingers over the curves of his sculpted chest, stopping at the belt of his jeans. Something about the way his skin soaked in the fire light had Jude nearly as wanting as Tommy. He leaned down, sharing a prolonged kiss before retreating to hastily pull at each other's clothing.

Once all their clothes were in pools of fabric at their sides, Tommy returned Jude to her back where he immediately brought his mouth to her breasts, taking in how time and pregnancy has enhanced them with a soft moan of appreciation, "It's been too long."

Jude whimper of agreement came with an arch of her back, her hands lost in Tommy's hair as his tongue worked up sensations in her body. Her hands soon captured his face, eagerly bringing his lips to hers, proving that the recent dry spell has left her just as needy as he was. His hand clasped hers, pinning them to her sides as he entered her in one smooth thrust, eliciting a moan from his lips. Jude's senses heightened, feeling every moment, every element that surrounded them. The smell of pine and fresh spring blossoms invaded her nose, the heat of the fire warming her body impossibly further. Tommy's mouth was at her ear, whispering her name with a string of encouragements as she met his deep thrusts, driving him in deeper. Jude's hands tightened around Tommy's, a cry of pleasure escaping her lips as he began harder, less rhythmic thrusts that soon brought on his climax. Knowing Jude hadn't found her release yet, Tommy tucked his arm under her hips, bringing her closer, moving faster until she came, her muscles closing around him. "I love you," He whispered, his hot breath tickling her ear, voice vibrating throughout his chest, "Always mine…my wife."

Jude felt his lips move into a smile against her cheek, triggering a smile of her own. He'd never called her wife before, and it sounded like a chorus coming from his lips. She brought her head up to press a kiss to his shoulder, than his temple, "Always." She promised.

Tommy moved to her side, moving along with him so her head was rested on his chest, his hand idly stroking her hair. "Happy birthday." She whispered against his skin, causing him to chuckle softly, "Best one yet."

"I like the name Riley." Jude murmured, her breath fanning the soft skin of Tommy's chest while her finger absentmindedly traced circles against his side, "And Quin."

Tommy chuckled, the sound vibrating in Jude's ear, "Quin Quincy? Don't kids have enough problems?"

Jude rolled her eyes, but the smile never left her lips, "Fine. No Quin." She decided, "But wait – isn't your legal last name Dutois?"

"Not anymore; had it changed a few years ago."

"Why?"

Tommy's shoulders shrugged against the fabric of their disheveled bedspread, "I didn't want my dad's name anymore."

Jude nodded quietly, and then lifted her head to grin at him, "Jude Quincy has a nice ring to it."

Tommy smiled with agreement, "So does Riley Quincy."

Jude moved up so her head was sharing Tommy's pillow, the movement removing him from within her, bringing a quiet inhale from Tommy's lips, "How about for a girl?" She asked, her certainty of their baby being a girl bringing an unintentional eagerness to her voice

Tommy turned to his side to face her, their noses only inches apart, "We could continue the Beatles' theme and name her Rita." He joked

"Or Lucy."

"Or Eleanor."

Jude leaned into Tommy's touch as he delicately ran his fingers across her cheek, "Don't think it has the same effect without Harrison."

Tommy smirked, "Doesn't matter anyway – we're having a boy."

"It's a girl."

"Boy."

"Guess we'll just have to wait and see." Jude said, seeming fully sure of herself, "And I'll be right as usual."

"Mhmm." Tommy pulled gently on the end of one of Jude's curls until it straightened, than released it to wind back into place. "I like Andrea." He whispered a few minutes later

Jude stirred and took in the thoughtful look on Tommy's face, lit by the golden sunlight creeping in from in between the blinds. She couldn't help the smile that crossed her face. Moments like these, when it was just them, talking about their life and future together put her at complete bliss. And something about the look in Tommy's eyes suggested he felt the same. "I like Andrea too."

After spending a few more hours in and out of sleep, Jude and Tommy eventually pulled themselves from bed to face the lazy Sunday ahead. The day before consisted of the same lying around, only much more confined to the bedroom. Tommy had mentioned more than once that this time to relax was exactly what he needed – what they needed – and it confirmed Jude's belief that she'd made the right decision. She'd give Brendon the chorus and put a lock and key on the rest of her song. Darius will just have to be happy with that.

"Look at what one of the vultures outside stapled to our paper." Tommy said, dropping the Sunday paper on the couch next to Jude

Jude started down at the bright write divorce form protruding from the entertainment section with a shake of her head. Along the top, [i]Thought I'd save you the trip[/i] was written in black marker, "Guess we've been out of sight too long." She ripped the form from its staple and crumpled it, tossing it aside.

"Wonder what brought them back around here," Tommy said from the laundry room, "They've been quiet for a while."

"Yeah…" Jude muttered thoughtfully, intrigued now. She'd nearly forgotten the small twinge of disappointment she felt when the paparazzi stopped stocking them and her name eventually grew less and less spoken by gossip site, wondering what drew them away. Now that they were back though, the elation was remarkable. Something had brought them back…but what? Curiosity got the better of her, and her hand reached for the TV remote. The morning talk shows offered no help, neither did the morning paper. "Crap."

"What's the matter?" Tommy asked, suddenly standing behind her

Jude clicked off the TV at the intrusion, "Just trying to find out what our latest scandal is."

"Probably nothing." Tommy muttered, his feelings on the revival of the paparazzi the complete opposite of Jude's.

Jude shoved up from the couch and headed back to the bedroom, gathering the computer in her lap. As Tommy's laptop blinked to life, Jude was greeted with an image of herself Tommy took of her while she was sleeping. She hates it, but Tommy's insisted she not remove it.

After a bit of searching – more than what would make Jude happy – she finally stumbled across the source of the commotion: The new Lyric jean add. In it, her back was to the camera, her hair fallen down her back in soft curls, seemingly the only thing covering her top half at all, while her bottom half was being hugged by a pair of too tight jeans. The wisp of a smile playing on her lips, and the glint in her eye as she stared down the view gave her a sexy appeal that even she didn't recognize in herself. The campaign tagged to it read: [i]If I could wear only one thing…it would be my Lyric jeans.[/i]. The article surrounding it was calling it racy, but all the commenters had to say was how good Jude looked. The comments, while a bit raunchy on most sites, brought an arrogant sort of smile to Jude's lips and a soft whisper of, "They all want me."


	40. Chapter 40

The gloom hanging in the air following the end of their weekend alone was remarkable, and made even worse when Tommy caught wind of the Lyric Jean add. He was pissed that the company would manipulate a photo of Jude to put her in such a light. Apparently, despite his many years dating models and women of various social standings and respectabilities, he found appearing topless was below Jude.

Jude hadn't even thought of that.

Since the ad became public, all Jude seemed to notice was the immense response it was triggering from the men. She hasn't gotten such attention since her unfortunate boob-slippage incident a couple years back, and that was only a fraction of the attention she's getting now. It even came as a surprise to her about how much she's enjoying it. It gave her a whole new sort of confidence to know that there guys out there who thought she was sexy…guys who wanted her. And she gets to tell everyone of them no. It was her turn to start breaking hearts a little.

"Are you sure you had your shirt on the entire time?"

Jude blinked, realizing that Darius was addressing her for the first time in nearly a half-hour and opened her mouth to speak, only to be cut off by Tommy, "Are you kidding me? You can NOT try to pawn this off on Jude…"

Jude returned to tuning their argument out, smiling inwardly while Tommy went on about her having more dignity and self-respect then to pose topless for a photo-shoot.

"I'm just saying," Darius piped in, trying to defend himself, "Photo shoots can get hectic, and with all that pressure to appease the clients – no one would blame her."

"Can you stop talking about me like I'm not in the room, please?" Jude spoke up, her gaze shifting between Darius sitting in front of her, and Tommy sitting next to her, "First off – I'm not THAT willing to please anybody, and have a bit more dignity than that-"

"Yeah." Tommy added

"And don't you think I would notice if I didn't have a shirt on, D? I was in a room full of guys, OF COURSE I would. The picture was obviously cropped."

Darius sighed and swiped a hand across his forehead, seeming unwilling to challenge the company, a move Tommy questioned. When didn't Darius love a good fight to win? Why isn't he as pissed as Tommy is? "What's the big deal, D?"

"They promised they wouldn't do anything drastic," Darius muttered "I told them they could alter the pictures, so long as they kept Jude's reputation intact."

"You gave them permission to do this?" Tommy nearly shouted

Jude turned her head to roll her eyes; cue the start of round five. She sighed and gaged the argument before deciding it was safe to sneak out unnoticed. Maybe she just wasn't seeing the big picture, but she just didn't understand why Tommy was _so_ upset over all this. It's one picture. Big deal.

"Hey there, kitten." Brendon greeted with a wink when Jude passed him, which reminded her of the reason she'd gone into Darius' office to start with before Tommy intervened; to inform him of her decision about the song. "Kitten!" Brendon called again, seeming offended that Jude was ignoring him

"Why don't you try learning my name?" Jude demanded primly as she gathered a water bottle from the hospitality mini-fridge

Brendon jogged over to meet Jude and offered his best don't-be-pissed-at-me smile, "Got your text on Friday…" He hedged, "You don't really want me to fuck off, do you?"

"Yup." Jude muttered, taking a sip of her water

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? I really, really need a boost and your song is the way to get it."

"Yeah, _my_ song – not yours!" Jude hissed, "You had no right to take it from me."

"Well, technically, I didn't take it – according to your text, you're giving it to me."

"What choice did I have? You got Tommy's music involved; you know I wouldn't let Darius take it away from him."

"That's was all Darius' deal, I had no idea he was going to bring your boyfriend into it."

"Right." Jude scoffed, "And for the last time, he's my fiancé."

"So? People get engaged all the time – engaged is not married." Brendon said casually, "I still don't get why you two are."

"That's what this is about?" Jude demanded, twisting the cap on her water bottle, "You don't like Tommy so you threaten to ruin his music career?" She shook her head angrily, "Well, I don't like you, so how about I ruin yours?"

Brendon shrugged, on the defensive now, "Can't ruin mine without ruining his, kitten." He nudged his chin toward the magazine lying face down on the counter next to them, displaying Jude's Lyric Jean ad, "Sex kitten."

So that's the reason for the name change, Jude thought, scowling after him. "He's such an ass." She mumbled under her breath and snatched a yogurt cup from the mini-fridge, heading toward Studio C to wait for Tommy. Once he returned, though, he only stayed long enough to inform her that he was late for Karma's session and that Darius wanted to speak with her. "Sorry I took over in there." He said quietly, standing in the doorway, waiting for Jude to gather her things

"It's fine." Jude said as she stood, "Thank you for sticking up for me. I would've stuck around but the fighting was stressing me out."

Tommy nodded with understanding and pecked her on the lips, "Back to the real world." He sighed

"Unfortunately." Jude offered a sympathetic smile as they parted ways and took her time getting to Darius' office.

"There's nothing more I can do." Is what Darius greeted her with

Jude shrugged and resumed her seat in front of his desk, "Tommy's a bit more concerned about it than I am." She admitted, and Brendon, who was sitting in the chair next to her, muttered something indistinct containing the word "pompous". "Shut the hell up, Brendon." She spat

Darius set some paperwork aside and folded his hands on the desk, "Have we come to a decision?"

In response, Brendon handed his cell phone to Darius, showing him the text Jude sent. Darius' eyes met Jude's with a disapproving stare, "I don't care for that language, Jude." She only shrugged in response. Darius sighed, "We're all good with this then?"

Jude snorted, "You say it like I was actually given a choice," Her eyes narrowed into a disgusted glare, "You know I won't hurt Tommy, so, yes, you've won again."

Darius seemed more offended than victorious at Jude's words, but didn't mention it.

"Brendon can have the chorus, that's all. The rest belongs solely to me." Jude concluded

"That's all I need." Brendon smiled, and Darius began drawing up the appropriate paperwork.

Jude made absolute sure that Darius had no say in anything before signing the dotted line and retained ownership of her song.

"Thank you so much, Jude. This'll be a huge help." Brendon said sincerely, "Can't wait to get recording."

"I can." Jude said curtly before shoving up from her seat and all but stomped out.

Darius rolled his eyes, "Those two deserve each other."

"She deserves better." Brendon whispered in return.


	41. Chapter 41

"I know it's already a song about sex, but that doesn't mean you have to mention-"

"The finale?"

Jude giggled in return, the redness seeping her cheeks unintentional. The hint of frustration layered in her laugh wasn't something lost on Tommy, but he remained amused anyhow. "Can't you just replace the line?" Jude plead, her begging eyes shadowed by the bangs swooping her forehead, "It's so personal." Her gaze remained steady on his as she replaced the headphones over her ears and adjusted the guitar on her lap. The soft sung lyrics of Come On Get Higher flooded her ears once again.

Tommy pursed his lips around an amused smile before pressing the intercom button again, this time speaking to Jude through the headphones, "Babe, it's not my fault you're so….inspiring." He whispered the last word huskily, and watched as the shy smile lifted Jude's lips with a smile of his own brightening his features, "Or that your cumming is worth writing about."

Jude shook her head, another flush coloring her face, "I'm gonna find something to throw at you." She threatened

"Good luck getting it through the glass." Tommy teased and reached out over the soundboard to tap the glass separating them

"Just wait until I get out of here." Jude muttered, then sighed, "Restart the track."

"Try to make the acoustics a little cleaner this time," Tommy said, his voice back to the professional tone of a producer, "And speed up the climax a bit." He added with a wink

Jude scowled and restarted the melody, making sure to slide her fingers against the strings during chord changes to irritate him. She smiled triumphantly at the semi-playful glare coming from Tommy but was overall unbothered by their bickering, welcoming it, actually. Her decision, despite the loss on her part, was becoming more and more right as the days wore on; if she hadn't given into Darius, they wouldn't be here alone in Studio C working on Tommy' album, and Tommy wouldn't be smiling at her the way he is now.

Once the acoustics were recorded to Tommy's liking, Jude returned to the booth and, as promised, chucked a pair of chopsticks at him before taking her seat next to him, "When is your studio time with Karma?" She asked bringing a fork full of mango chicken to her lips

Tommy checked his watch and sighed, beginning the process of saving his work and shutting down the soundboard, "I have to head over in a few minutes. Don't you have a session with Brendon?"

Jude set her container of food aside and took a sip from Tommy's water bottle, "Nope." She grumbled, "Rescheduled."

Picking up on her tone, Tommy cocked an eyebrow, "Did something happen between you two?"

Jude avoided the question, and the temptation to lie to him, by stating a true fact, "I'm so nauseous," She breathed shakily, taking another swig of water

"Did you check with Chelsea – is it normal for you to be sick this much?"

"Apparently." Jude said, "It varies on the person, no two pregnancies are the same blah blah blah…"

Tommy offered a sympathetic smile and gathered the empty food containers, stuffing them in a plastic bag, "Do you want me to drive you home? Karma can wait a few minutes."

Jude stood and hung her bag on her shoulder, "Nah, no need to send Karma into a fit; I'll be alright…kinda want ice cream right now, actually."

Tommy chuckled and walked her over to hospitality, "Call me if you need anything."

Jude caught him by the arm before he could turn to leave and loosely laced her fingers between his, "That really is a beautiful song, Tommy." She assured quietly, "I love it."

"But?" Tommy hedged

"But nothing. You make great music." Jude paused, considering her options before speaking again, "I'm sure Darius would agree." She added, thinking that coaxing Tommy into going public with his music would eliminate it as a pawn for Darius to use against her in the future

"Yeah, but why get him involved?" Tommy's hands tightened around hers, "I like what we've got going here."

"Me too." Jude answered earnestly; everything's better without Darius probing…too bad he already was.

"Get some rest, okay? I'll see you at home."

"Yeah." Jude forced a smile, he pecked her on the lips and went to join Karma in studio A while Jude rummaged the freezer for Sadie's stash of éclairs.

"'Ey lady 'arrison." Speid greeted cheerily and stuffed his arm in the freezer, seeking the same stash Jude was stealing from

"Hey." Jude responded, distracted, her elbows leaning on the counter top

"Anymore of those?" Speid asked, gesturing to the ice cream treat in Jude's hand

"Got the last two." Jude said a bit cockily and licked the remains from the popsicle stick

Disappointed, Speid grabbed a soda from the fridge, muttering, "Two? What are you – pregnant?"

Jude's eyes inadvertently widened at the accusation before she tried covering it with a snort and an unconvincing, "No."

Speid eyed Jude evenly for a moment and tilted his head, "You are, aren't you?"

Jude shook her head, "[i]No[/i]."

Speid's jaw fell open with a noisy inhale, "Oh my God!"

"Shut up!" Jude hissed

Speid laughed, "Oh my GOD." He repeated

"Shut up!"

"You ARE! Tommy Q finally reproduced!"

Jude shoved her hand over his mouth, taking a swift look around to make sure no one heard, "Will you shush?"

"What's in it for me?" Speid mumbled jokingly from behind her hand

"I won't tell Sadie you're the one who cut her hair in the tenth grade."

Speid rolled his eyes, "She doesn't care about that anymore."

Jude removed her hand from Speid's mouth to cross her arms over her chest, "This is Sadie we're talking about. I'll also tell her you're the one who keeps raiding her stash."

Speid mimicked her posture, "She already knows."

"No, her _other_ stash."

Speid's cockiness faltered, replaced with an almost fearful look, "You wouldn't."

"I would." Jude countered, "And if you tell anyone, my kids are gonna call you Uncle Vinny."

It was Speid's turn to shush and take a look around, "I just got everyone to stop calling me Vinny."

"Well shut up, then."

"You shut up too!"

"Fine." Jude shrugged

"And congratulations." Speid smiled

Jude grinned in return and graciously accepted Speid's hug, "Thanks."


	42. Chapter 42

"So, who are you cheating on me with?" Is what Jude greeted Tommy with when he finally got around to answering his phone, her eyes on the muted TV screen displaying the supposed Tommy Q cheating scandal

"Who'd they catch me with this time?" Tommy answered, his voice disrupted slightly by the static on the line

"Christina Aguilera."

Tommy's eye roll was almost audible, "There's a Photoshop miracle."

Jude giggled, "Doesn't even look like you."

"No question there, I set the bar pretty high." Tommy smirked, "Is that why you called?"

Jude furrowed her brow, "No. Are you in a rush?"

"A little. I'm late leaving to meet Mrs. McNally. Got held up with dumb ass."

Jude smiled a little at Milo's nickname; Tommy hated him almost as much as he hated Brendon. "You're meeting her today?" She asked, feeling guilty that she'd forgotten Tommy's meeting with the woman who saved him from jail when he was young. It's been a while since he's seen her, and he wanted to hand-deliver both the news and the invitation to their wedding. According to Tommy, not a lot of media news gets through to private boarding schools.

"Yeah," Tommy said, standing from the sound board and gathering his laptop under his arm, "Do you want to come? I can swing by and pick you up."

While Jude considered the question, her uneasy stomach provided an on-cue answer. The thought of walking made her nauseous, let the alone the thought of riding in a car for an hour, "I want to, but, I don't think I can stomach a drive right now."

"Too pregnant, huh?"

"Mhmm," Jude murmured almost sadly, "But tell her I said hi."

"I will."

"Are you planning on telling her about peanut?"

Tommy exited the studio and slowed a bit at the sight of Brendon hanging out in the lobby, wondering why he was still hanging around, "Yah, why?"

Jude hesitated with a quiet exhale, debating.

"She can keep a secret, Jude." Tommy intervened, sounding a little annoyed. He still doesn't understand why Jude was so adamant about keeping the baby a secret.

"I know." Jude said, deciding that Tommy had the right to tell who he wants…so long as their sworn to secrecy, "I'm sure she'll be happy for us." She added, taking care to make her voice cheery, "Drive safe, okay? And bring home ice cream."

"Will do. Love you." Jude's responding good-bye was barely heard over Brendon's obnoxious bark of "Isn't that cute!" and Tommy ended the call with a glare at Brendon. He intended to pass silently and leave, but was stopped by Brendon talking loudly to his fellow Instant Star finalist, "Must be rough having a girl every guy wants to bang. Glad I'm single."

Tommy turned to face the small group of people, his eyes only seeing Brendon, "Excuse me?"

Brendon shrugged and leaned his elbows up on the back of the couch, "Just sayin', man. It'll be hard to keep a leash on your girl with pictures like that goin' around. Haven't met a guy yet that wouldn't love to hit that."

"Don't talk about Jude like that." Tommy seethed, his hand fisting around the edge of the laptop tucked between his hip and forearm, "And I don't have a damn thing to worry about."

"And why's that?" Brendon inquired mockingly, his head tilting to the side

"I know how to keep fuckers like you away."

"Oooo," Brendon chorused with a laugh, "What are you gonna do? Hit me?" He scoffed, "I'd like to see you try."

His temper was boiling, he could feel it. And in that moment, nothing seemed more important than the opportunity to give Brendon just what he was asking for, but he pulled roughly on the reins of his anger, remembering that his anger is always what gets him in trouble. With any will power he had left, Tommy simply shook his head and turned his back to Brendon, heading for the door.

Brendon glared at Tommy's back with a somewhat victorious smile playing slightly on his lips "Bitch." He muttered under his breath.

Tommy landed in the front seat of his car with a huff and all but threw his laptop in the passenger seat. His foot tapping against the gas pedal, and his hands fisted around the steering wheel, he managed to calm the angry pulse beating within him and headed off toward the boarding school.

Jude was happily invested in her afternoon snooze when an obnoxious knocking stirred her. She awoke hesitantly; having always been apprehensive to answer the door in Tommy's apartment, the fact that it was now her place too evaded her groggy mind. As the knocking continued, Jude eventually forced herself to her feet and stomped bare-foot down the hall, checking the peep hole before unwillingly swinging the door open.

"Wow, sickness suits you." Brendon remarked, taking in Jude's disheveled ponytail and outfit of short shorts and a red tank top.

Assuming this was a typical sarcastic remark, Jude snarked in return, "Well, seeing you doesn't brighten up my day either."

Brendon furrowed his brow with a slight offence, "No, I'm serious. You look cute."

Jude drug a hand over her face with a nearly silent groan, already making immediate plans to go back to bed. "What do you want?"

"Can I come in for a sec?"

"What for?"

"I want to talk to you."

"About?"

"I wanna squash the tension between us…I thought this 'sick' thing was a fake to get away from me." Brendon added in a grumble

Jude crossed her arms, "That's only half true."

"I just think working together would be a lot easier if you didn't hate me."

Jude sighed, "Fine. I don't hate you – problem squashed."

"No, wait," Brendon halted her closing the door, "I'm sorry I ratted out your fiancé, okay?"

"And?" Jude prompted, arms still firmly crossed as she rose a single, expectant eyebrow

"For recording you without your knowledge or permission – than hawking the lyrics to Darius." Brendon added, just as Jude opened her mouth, "But in my own defense, I did it for the sake of the music. I can't believe you're keeping that song under wraps. If your boyfri – fiancé, inspired it, he should be sorry, not mad."

"I never said he'd be mad." Jude spat, both annoyed with Brendon's presumptions, and speaking in Tommy's defense

"Then why hide it?" Brendon countered, than spoke up again, leaning in, "And before you answer that, remember there are paparazzi all up and down this block; maybe close enough to record…" He trailed off

Jude huffed and let him in, but no further than just inside the door before closing it, "He won't be mad," She continued, "He'd feel horrible, and I don't want him feeling that way."

"Why not? Shouldn't he account for his mistakes?"

"He has."

"Then why are you still with him?"

Jude rolled her eyes, "Bye, Brendon."

"Touchy." Brendon muttered, "Hold up, I really do have another reason for coming. He dug a sleeved disc from the pocket of his leather jacket and handed it to her, "It's a rough draft of my verses for the song. Thought you'd wanna hear it…or I could just do it for you live…?"

Jude pursed her lips, she _has_ been working a melody for the remix before the nausea hit. "Fine. Sit. I'll be right back."

While Jude ventured into her and Tommy's room to grab her guitar, Brendon hung back and examined the picture hung proudly on display over the mantle. 'Never one without the other." He read aloud, and rolled his eyes, "Whatever." The other picture, propped up in a frame, resting on the mantle, depicted a far less formal setting, showing Jude and Tommy kissing, seemingly taken by Jude from the angle of it.

"I took that the day we got back together." Jude explained from behind him, smiling at the picture

"There was a break up?" Brendon asked curiously

"Way early on; we were barely together a week."

"Why the break?"

"Big misunderstanding, and a series of unfortunate events." Jude turned an perched on the edge of the couch, guitar in her lap, "You wanna get started or what?"

Brendon looked over his shoulder and smiled, "I'd love to."


	43. Chapter 43

"What a treat it is to have you here," Mrs. McNally delighted, the loving smile never leaving her face as she ushered Tommy to his seat at a table set with coffee and cookies, "It's been quite some time."

"Too long" Tommy responded almost guiltily

Mrs. McNally took a seat and draped a cloth napkin over her lap, "Ah, well. You're here now, that's what matters." She distributed the coffee evenly between two mugs and handed Tommy silver containers of creamer and sugar, "What's new in your life, Tom?"

"You first." Tommy said casually and busied his mouth with a bite of biscotti while Mrs. McNally prattled about her classes and students. As he listened, he debated. How much of the past year he was willing to share has been the dominant thought the whole drive over. The thought of disappointing the woman who he's seen as sort of a mother figure for years wasn't a pleasant one. He was tired of disappointing people he loved.

"But, enough with me," Mrs. McNally said abruptly, setting her mug on its matching saucer, "How's your life?"

Tommy couldn't imagine a more perfect question to settle the questions in his head. No need to harp on the past; this is supposed to be a happy gathering about what's happening now. "That's what I came to talk to you about, actually." He said, smiling as he pulled a white envelope from his pocket, "I have some big news."

Mrs. McNally weighed the expensive material in her hands for a moment, and drew a conclusion before Tommy spoke, "You're getting married."

The smile on Tommy's lips grew stiff with unease, unsure if the news was being well received, "Yes."

Mrs. McNally tisked her tongue, smiling to ensure it was an approving sound, "Would I be wrong to guess Jude is the lucky girl?"

"How'd you know?"

"You kids think all I do is knit in my free time," She smirked, "I do turn on a television every now and again. I also notice she's the only woman of yours I've ever met."

"Technically she wasn't mine then." Tommy said

Mrs. McNally made a small sound of disagreement, her eyes drawn to removing the invitation from its pure white confines, met first with a picture of Jude and Tommy. "Such a pretty face," She murmured, delicately running her fingers over Jude's half of the picture, "You're very close to this girl."

"Yes I am."

She turned the invitation in her hands, admiring the gold font pressed into the white card, "This is very close."

Tommy nodded, "Little over a month."

Mrs. McNally set the invitation aside, "Long engagement?"

"Not at all," Tommy answered, already preparing to drop the second half of his news, "I asked in February – on Valentine's Day."

Mrs. McNally pursed her lips, the first hint of doubt appearing on her features, "Any particular reason for the haste? It's my understanding planning a wedding is a time consuming ordeal and one to be done in well advance."

"It is, but we've got a really great planner," Tommy said, than scowled inwardly realizing he just gave Sadie a compliment, "And we're both eager to be married."

"You've always been a very hasty young man," She said, "But why not enjoy this time? Engagement is a lovely time."

"It is," Tommy agreed, "But we'd like to enjoy marriage a little." He chuckled

Mrs. McNally smiled with a small, fond shake of her head, "Are you certain about this one?" She asked, taking a small jab at Tommy's previous marriage

"More than anything."

"And Jude treats you well?"

"Very well."

Mrs. McNally took a slow sip of her coffee, her face thoughtful, "Are you sure there's enough love between you to last the rest of your lives?"

Tommy nodded, feeling a lot like a son being interrogated by his mother, "Positive."

Mrs. McNally finally granted Tommy the approval he sought with an easy smile, "Wonderful. I'm happy for you – the both of you." She reached over and topped of Tommy's coffee, "Where is Jude this afternoon? I'd love the chance to see her before the wedding."

"Jude really wanted to be here, but she's home sick today." Tommy adjusted his posture a bit, leaning his forearms on the table, "That's actually the other thing I wanted to tell you," He took a breath "Jude is pregnant." The following smile relayed his happiness thoroughly, especially since he's finally able to tell someone

Noticing this, Mrs. McNally took in the news with excitement, "You're going to be a father," She beamed, "Congratulations!"

Tommy grinned, "Thank you."

"How wonderful! When is Jude due?"

"November."

Mrs. McNally took Tommy's hand within her own, offering a gentle look of gladness, "You'll be a great dad. I've always seen that in you." She paused, "I once worried you'd be scared of the idea; that you'd never really want to be a family man."

Tommy shrugged lightly, "I used to feel that way. I just needed was the right person."

Mrs. McNally's grip tightened slightly around Tommy's hand, "A word of advice?"

Tommy nodded eagerly, "Please."

"Keep no secrets. Especially now, in this time of becoming one with your partner, it is essential to keep this in mind," She retracted her hand from Tommy's, "Because for two things to truly come together, there must be nothing between them, and only then a fusion can form." She clasped her hands together, "Always be honest, and always trust. With that, you can make it through anything."

Tommy took in this information solemnly, applying it to his perspective, and feeling grateful to have someone he could always love and trust above all else.

Mrs. McNally later stood as their talk came to a close and hugged Tommy, placing her hands lovingly on his face, "I'm thrilled for the both of you. Come by again soon, will you?"

"Of course."

Another hug and a container of goodies for Jude in hand, Tommy ventured back to his car, looking forward to going home to Jude.

The afternoon had passed by the time Tommy arrived home, leaving the sky dusk and clear, giving a spectacular view of the moon making its rise. He managed to briefly enjoy the stroll to his door before the mob of flashing cameras formed a bubble around him.

"What do you think of Jude having men in the apartment when you're not home?" A reporter yelled eagerly over the crowd, managing to shove his microphone through the tightly packed bodies and near Tommy's face.

Tommy's eye roll was hidden by the dark tint of his sunglasses. What a treat it would be for them to stir up enough trouble to start an argument between the 'it couple' and be the first to blab about.

"What are your thoughts on the new Lyric Jean add?" A voice shouted from the back, followed by, "Do you know Jude's cheating on you?" from a voice much closer.

Tommy remained quiet with the exception of a stern "I trust Jude" spoken into the nearest microphone before shutting all the madness out with a swift close of the front door. The sight of Jude's guitar lying on the couch comforted him, as did the warm, dim lighting provided by the single lamp lit in the corner. It felt like home. "Jude?" He called quietly, placing the ice cream in the freezer and gathering her guitar from the couch. The bedroom door stood ajar with Jude sleeping peacefully inside. Tommy set Jude's guitar in its stand and toed off his shoes to climb in bed, lying with Jude's back to his chest and his fingers loosely intertwined with hers over her stomach.

He lied quietly for a while, just listening to her steady breathing and heartbeat, thinking of the baby nestled safely beneath their joined hands, and the days to come when he can hold his baby. He smiled against Jude's hair, wrapping his arm tighter around her and leaned in to press a kiss to her shoulder. His lips lingered as she stirred, following the groove of her shoulder to her neck, where he paused with a slight recoil at the scent clinging to her skin there. He recognized the smell immediately; having spent countless hours working with Brendon, the stench of his cologne was something Tommy couldn't forget – especially when it was coating his fiancé. But Jude hadn't seen Brendon when they were in the studio, so either Jude went back to work…or he was here.

Jude turned in his arms, smiling as she draped an arm over his side, "When'd you get home?" She asked sleepily, her eyes half lidded as she came to

"Was Brendon here?" Tommy asked in return, his nose scrunching as the scent got stronger with Jude's movement

Jude brought a hand over to mouth to cover a yawn and nodded, "Yeah, why?"

Tommy made a low sound of disgust and shoved up from the mattress, "You let him into our apartment?" He demanded, now understanding the paparazzi's questions. They must have gotten pictures of Brendon coming and going.

Jude blinked, her eyebrows arching with confusion as she turned and sat up, "What's the matter?"

"You_ smell_ like him." Tommy spat, "What the hell was he doing here?"

Jude squeezed her eyes shut and moved the hair from her face, trying force her groggy mind to work, "Who?"

Tommy huffed, aggravated, "Brendon!"

"He came over to work on his song."

Tommy folded his arms over his chest, "He had to come here for that?" he asked, doubtful

Jude finally looked up at Tommy and was surprised to see him angry, "Uh…yeah. He was only here for a couple hours."

"_Hours_?" Tommy demanded in a tone just below shouting, his hands falling to clench at his sides

"Was he in here?" He asked, indicating the room around them

"No!" Jude said, "Of course not! We were in the living room."

"And all you did was work on music?"

Jude's eyes narrowed, offended at the insinuation in his tone, "Yes, Tommy." She answered curtly, "What do you think?"

"Gee, I don't know, Jude. I come home and find out that you let some scumbag in my apartment-"

"_Our_ apartment." Jude corrected

"When I wasn't home. What am I supposed to think?"

"That I screwed him, of course." Jude spat sarcastically

Tommy scowled, "I wasn't thinking that." He clenched his jaw to control his anger, taking a deep breath through his nose, "I was wondering what you two could've been doing to make you smell like him."

Jude shrugged, "I don't know – I hugged him before he left, maybe that's it."

Tommy took in Jude's outfit and forced another breath through his nose, "Please tell me you weren't wearing that when you were with him."

Jude looked down at her tank top and shorts and pulled on the shorts' fabric to cover more of her thigh, "Yeah." She said hesitantly

"Jude!" Tommy complained, "C'mon! Be smart – don't you understand he just wants to get in your pants?"

Jude rolled her eyes, "He does not."

Tommy sighed, frustrated, "Then why else would he want to be around you so much?" A slight flash of hurt crossed Jude's eyes before she stood, causing him to elaborate, "I didn't mean it like that," He explained as Jude passed him, closing herself in the bathroom. Tommy hung his head for a second and began talking through the bathroom door, "Babe, I know how amazing you are. That's what worries me; I know why he likes you…I just wish you'd keep your distance."

"I didn't invite him here," Jude said, opening the bathroom door and flicking off the light, "He just came over."

"You didn't have to let him in."

"He wanted to work on his song."

"Jude" Tommy started slowly, only to be cut off

"Can you not do that thing where you talk to me like I'm five?" Jude muttered, turning to lean her back against the wall, bringing her arms to cross over her stomach

"Jude," Tommy said again, adjusting his tone, "He came here because he knew I wasn't here."

"So that's what this is about – the battle going on between you two?"

"Not completely." Tommy clarified, "He wants you, and he also wants to prove to me that he can have you."

"Well, I don't want him – and he certainly can't have me." Jude grumbled

"Please try to see him for what he is," Tommy plead with her, "I mean, you should hear the shit he says when you're not around; I almost murdered him today."

"What'd he say?"

"He was talking shit like he always does."

"About me?" Jude asked quietly, insulted

"He was talking about the ad that's going around," Tommy said gently, "And how all the guys think you're easy." He stretched the truth slightly, not having actually heard Brendon call Jude easy, but assuming he thought so

Jude shook her head, "Everyone's been saying that" She frowned

"Including Brendon; trust me, don't let him get close. You're just a game to him."

Jude nodded, "Fine." She said, and looked down at herself "And what's wrong with my clothes?" She asked, exasperated, signaling an end to the conversation

Tommy smirked softly, tugging on the cotton hem of her shorts, "Other than these are short enough to be underwear?" His eyes roamed her body, his mind on the track it was before the argument, "There are many reasons I love you in this…none of which I want in another man's head."

A smile raised a corner of Jude's mouth before holding a more serious expression, "I didn't think it was a big deal."

Tommy propped his arm up on the wall above Jude's head, "Think about it; would you want me alone in an apartment with another girl?" He asked with a light tilt of his head, "In my boxers." He added

"No." Jude replied almost immediately, the thought alone making her upset, "I'd be pissed." She sighed, "Sorry. It won't happen again." She flashed a smile and diverted her eyes to her fingers as they fiddled with a button on Tommy's shirt, "You wanna share some of those "reasons" with me?"

Tommy smiled and brought his lips to brush along hers, his hands moving down her sides and over the delicate curve of her hips, only having to nudge the waistband of her shorts slightly before they gave and slithered down her legs. "There's one." Jude smirked and shoved the pool of fabric aside with her foot. "Easy access." Tommy continued and pulled on the straps of her loose tank top, moving them from her shoulders down her arms until that too pooled at Jude's feet, leaving her in nothing but a pair of panties.

Jude wrapped her arms around Tommy's neck and brushed her lips against his ear, whispering, "Now that you got me all undressed, what do you plan on doing with me?"

A low sound of want rumbled in his throat, his mouth opening to answer, only to snap shut when the smell of Brendon's cologne invaded his senses. He dropped his hands from Jude's body and pecked her once on the lips, "Shower. Then we'll talk."

Jude's mouth fell open, "Tommy!" She protested, watching him walk down the hall. She sighed, disappointed. She eyed the tank top on the floor before picking it up, curiously bringing it to her nose, "For the record," She called after him, "I don't smell anything!"


	44. Chapter 44

"Crazy, right? Like I'd ever cheat on him." Jude griped to Sadie in conclusion to a brief description of what happened the night prior with Tommy.

"Yeah, really" Sadie muttered in agreement, handing Jude a bottle of water from the drive-thru window before collecting her coffee, "He should be happy you ever looked twice at him." She added in a grumble, cautious of the open window to her left.

Jude sighed, semi irritated by Sadie's comment, mostly irritated by the tabloid field day regarding the pictures taken of Brendon leaving Jude and Tommy's apartment. Her eyes snagged on the tabloid lying partly crumpled on the floor under her feet and she scowled at the picture that started this whole conversation with Sadie; apparently there was damage control to be done…again. "I get where he's coming from, though."

"I do too," Sadie said, "But still, Tommy should know better than to even consider you doing something like that." She took the receipt from the barista and handed it to Jude with a sharpie, "Autograph." She explained, gesturing out the window

Jude leaned forward and smiled politely at the woman behind the drive-thru window and scribbled her signature. Sadie handed it back and exited the drive-thru in a huff, "Always the go between." She muttered bitterly

Jude crossed her legs and adjusted the seatbelt to rest lower on her on her belly hoping to assist easing the nausea caused by long car trips, "What is up with you today?" Jude asked, "You've been in a mood."

Sadie shook her head, her lips protruding slightly with anger, "Everything is just…Men are stupid, relationships are stupid, fame – FAME – is stupid."

"The movie or the social status?"

Sadie casted Jude a not-amused look before tightening her grip on the steering wheel

"What's the matter?" Jude asked, more concerned now, "Things not working out the way you want with Kwest?"

"Things never work out the way I want, period."

"Don't say that, Sade." Jude said softly, reaching over to rub her sister's arm, "I'm sure Kwest will come around, he loves you."

"I don't think he does – not like he used to, anyway."

"Well," Jude started slowly, gently, not wanting to be outright blatant, "Sade, you may have to give him some time…I mean, you kind of ditched him for Darius."

"I know."

"And that wasn't the first time you were unsure about him"

"I know that too," Sadie sighed "And I know it's wrong to expect so much from him…but why can't we just go back to how we were?"

"It's not that simple," Jude said certainly, speaking from personal experience with Tommy, "Trust me, it'll never be exactly the same – that doesn't mean it won't get better" She added, noticing Sadie's emotion worsening, "You might even end up stronger than before."

"Everything is just stupid." Sadie concluded

"That's not really fair, Sades, you can't be mad at Kwest for being mad at you - you made the mistake - let him breathe for a while." Jude swigged from her bottle, waiting for Sadie to respond, sighing when she didn't, "Sadie, c'mon, what do you want me to say?"

"Let's just not talk about it anymore."

"Fine" Jude surrendered and pulled Sadie's planning book from the backseat to her lap, "Where are we going, again?"

Sadie loosened some at the question, back in wedding-planner mode "It's this beautiful little spot – lake, wild flowers, a gazebo – thought it'd be perfect for your wedding…Tommy knows the time we're meeting, right?"

"Yeah," Jude pulled out her cell, checking her messages, "He's on his way now."

"Think Tommy was alright seeing Brendon this morning?"

Jude shrugged, "As far as I know. He's not going to do anything stupid, anyway."

"What makes you say that?"

"Tommy won't risk getting in trouble now, not with everything going on."

Sadie removed her coffee from the cup holder, taking a sip with a barely hidden scoff, "Like that'll stop him."

Jude turned her head to glare at Sadie, "It will." She defended, "Me and the baby are most important to him."

"If you say so."

"I do."

"Good then."

Jude crossed her arms, "What happened to being decent to Tommy?"

"I AM being decent to Tommy, Tommy's not here."

"When will you start trusting me?" Jude asked, annoyed, "Hasn't he done enough to prove he's better?"

"It won't be enough until he goes back in time and gets that scar off your face."

Made aware of it, Jude unconsciously brought her hand up to brush along the hairline scar on her cheek, "That's not possible," She mumbled, pulling down the car mirror and examining the mark, "You can barely even see it…pretend it's gone."

Sadie stopped the car at the curb of a sidewalk that curved up over small, grassy hill with wildflowers bordering either side. Jude had to admit, the immediate visual was beautiful, but was too irritated with Sadie to tell her so. "Speak of the devil." Sadie said as she got out of the car, spotting Tommy pulling up in Jude's Mustang

Jude happily made her way to Tommy, meeting him with a hug, "Everything alright?" Tommy asked

Jude wrapped her arms around Tommy's waist, her hands clasping against his side, "Sadie's in a mood" She explained, resting her head on his shoulder as they followed Sadie's path to a small building blocking the view of the lake, "Say no more." Tommy answered quietly

"Stop whispering about me." Sadie hissed over her shoulder, gaining quiet laughs from Jude and Tommy. She rolled her eyes and ventured to the back of the building where a man in a polo shirt and khakis were waiting for them.

"You must be David." Sadie greeted with a tight smile

"And you must be Sadie…and this is the famous couple."

Jude and Tommy snapped away from their whispered conversation at their mention and composed a more polite posture, "That's us." Jude said

Throughout the tour David kept his stance casual, obviously no stranger to showing the property to celebrities. Beyond the lake stood a much larger stone building, looking much like a small castle from the back, "And that's the inn," David gestured to it, "That's where the reception is normally held." He led them under a canopy of trees adorned with flowers, the sidewalk beneath their feet sprinkled with the small, pink flower, "This is where the bride enters, and the ceremony will be here." On the opposing end of tree canopy was a level field of grass with a large white gazebo toward the edge of the property.

"How private is this area?" Jude asked, her eyes drifting toward the inn and the public road on the other side of it

"If you choose to rent this venue," David started in a low, business-like tone, "We'll give you the entire property - you won't have to worry about anyone being here that you don't want here."

"Doubt that." Jude and Tommy muttered under their breath simultaneously

"Great." Sadie smiled, "Mind giving us a bit to think it over?"

"No problem at all. If you're interested, I'll be right inside." David shook hands with the three and parted with a confident stride.

Jude scrunched her nose after him, "He's so…"

"Campy." Tommy finished for her, wearing a similar expression

"Yeah."

"Yes, but what about the venue? Nice, huh?" Sadie offered an aren't-you-proud-of-me grin and gestured to the lake, "Did you hear what he said about the fountain? He can light it with your wedding colors."

"We don't have colors yet." Jude pointed out

"But you will"

Jude's eyes wandered up to meet Tommy's, sharing a similar look of indifference, "I don't like it." Jude finally said

"Me either." Tommy added

Sadie's shoulders slumped with overdramatic disappointment, "Guys!" She complained, "Do you realize this the fourth venue you've turned down? You've got to settle somewhere."

"It's really beautiful Sadie, it's just a little…much." Jude admitted

"Fine." Sadie huffed, "I'll go tell David and we can go on to the next one."

Jude watched her sister's retreat with a quiet shake of her head, "Think she ever gets her wedding mixed up with ours?"

Tommy smirked, "Probably – wasn't there talk of a carriage a few days ago?"

"And an ice sculpture."

Tommy led Jude over to the gazebo where they took a seat on the bottom step, he took in their surroundings with a quiet smile; it really was a beautiful place. "Are you sure you don't want all this?"

Jude moved close to Tommy's side, her head resting on his shoulder, "Yeah, why?"

"I just don't want you give things up because you think I don't want them. I want you to have whatever you want."

Jude smiled and laced her fingers through Tommy's, "I'm not giving anything up." She clarified, "All I want is for both of us to be happy on our wedding day."

"All you have to do is be there and it'll be the happiest day of my life. Nothing else matters."

Jude tilted her face up to press her lips to Tommy's cheek, "Ditto."

Tommy wrapped his arms around Jude and dropped a kiss on her head, "But we definitely don't want the ice sculpture, right?"

"Absolutely not." Jude settled against Tommy's side, her lips turned up softly at the corners, "It's crazy to think…" She murmured

"What is?"

"A month from now we'll be married – _married_ – and that'll be it forever…" Jude gingerly ran her fingers over Tommy's forearm, "I'll always have you."

Tommy grinned and tilted Jude's face up toward his, "This is already it forever." He leaned down, only able to brush his lips along hers before Sadie made her whiney reappearance.

"Since you're both so unhappy here, I shouldn't even bother with the next place, I already called and canceled."

"Where did we say we were unhappy?" Tommy demanded in a rush of annoyance, suddenly becoming sick of having Sadie involved in everything

"Uhhh, you don't want to be here, or any other place I've suggested." Sadie pointed out in a tone that sounded almost too bitchy, even for her.

"So what? It's not your wedding. And since you've made yourself head of everything as usual, you're just gonna have to suck it up."

"Tommy" Jude intruded softly with an edge of disapproval and a shake of her head, indicating he needed to tone it down

Sadie crossed her arms, "Why don't you just stay the hell out of this?"

"Sadie!" Jude chided much more openly to her sister

Tommy looked up at Sadie with a loaded glare, and Jude could feel Tommy's pulse begin to quicken with anger, "Why don't you?! Nobody asked you to be here. So since you're so unhappy, you can leave."

Sadie scowled, "I don't give a fuck what you say – I'm here for Jude, and she wants me here. Right Jude?"

Jude looked between Tommy and Sadie, quite literally the middle of their argument, inadvertently held there by the hold of Tommy's arms, "C'mon guys." She tried, "Cool it."

"No! I'm tired of being nice about this!"

"This has been you being nice?" Tommy barked a sarcastic laugh, "I'd hate to see what you being a complete bitch looks like."

"Tommy!" Jude objected

"Well I don't need to guess what you being a complete douche bag looks like, I see it on my sister's face every day!" Sadie stabbed her finger in the general direction of Jude's scar

Tommy clenched his jaw and in a burst of anger responded with semi-defensive "Fuck you!" before his brain could stop it

"Ditto!" Sadie yelled back

"Sadie!" Jude hissed

"Are you seriously taking his side on this?!" Sadie demanded

"No-"

Tommy's eyes snapped to Jude, "No?"

"Well, I'm not taking any sides-"

"Maybe you should start-"

"What the hell's the matter with you?" Tommy snapped at Sadie, "Don't put her in that position."

"You just did, you damn hypocrite."

Tommy finally shoved up from the step and released Jude from her awkward placement between him and Sadie and furthered the argument. Jude remained still for a moment, trying to tune out their fighting before standing and gathering her keys from Tommy's front pocket, unnoticed, and heading back out toward her car. When she landed in the safety of the passenger seat, she found her eyes beginning to water with emotion and stress, wishing first that she'd never told Sadie anything, but mostly wishing everything that happened in New Brunswick would just go away.

* * *

><p>Only minutes after Jude had begun to lose the battle against her mostly hormone-induced emotions and tears began to fall from her eyes, she caught notice of Tommy coming down the little hill toward the car, concerned. Idly, Jude figured the sight of Tommy made sense because he was usually the first to abandon ship on a serious argument he couldn't further by actually hitting the other person, though, he's never seemed to exercise that tactic in any arguments he's had with her.<p>

"You think I'm jealous?! Of what?! I'm not the one in the abusive relationship!"

Jude winced at Sadie's screech, loud enough to be heard through the closed door of her mustang, her heart hurting a little for Tommy's sake. Sadie really needed to get a grip. Jude watched as Tommy's step hesitated a bit in reaction to Sadie's comment and recognized the look of anger and speculation as he debated reacting to it. Apparently he thought better of it because less than a minute later he was opening the door of the mustang, checking on Jude.

"I can't believe you'd even say something like that!" Sadie continued fuming as she caught up to Tommy, still pissed at his parting statement of "You're pissed because you're jealous."

"Will you stop?! It's done!" Tommy barked to Sadie while pulling Jude to her feet, his hands going to her face when he noticed she'd been crying "Are you alright?"

"She's fine." Sadie scoffed, rolling her eyes at Tommy's concern

Tommy glared at her with a look of I'm-not-talking-to-you before returning his attention to Jude.

"I'm fine" Jude whispered, seeming reluctant to be the center of attention, "Hormones." She explained

Tommy pressed a kiss to Jude's forehead with a quiet apology for stressing her out by picking a fight with Sadie. Jude accepted the apology eagerly, wanting to get out of the spotlight and return to the car.

"I'm not jealous." Sadie concluded with a low mutter, her arms crossing over her chest while her eyes dropped to stare at the concrete.

Tommy only shook his head with a frustrated grit of his teeth, trying to ignore Sadie all together. "Do you want to go home?" He asked Jude

"What for?" Sadie demanded, "I swear! You act like she's made of glass or something."

Tommy glared at Sadie again, much more vicious this time, working to keep his voice even, "It's not good for the baby when she's stressed." He said

"Maybe you should stop causing so much of it, then." Sadie quipped back

"Sadie, stop." Jude interjected in Tommy's defense "I'm tired of your shit when it comes to my relationship – I'm sorry your life sucks, but that doesn't give you the right to attack mine!"

Tommy smiled arrogantly at Sadie over Jude's head, eliciting a scowl from Sadie, "You think my life sucks? Wait until you see yours in a few years." She retorted and turned toward her car, "I'm done helping you guys – go find a church that wants you, don't send me invitation."

Jude sighed, "Sadie, don't be like that-" She began calling after her when something clicked in her mind, "Church." She looked up at Tommy and smiled when she realized he was thinking the same thing she was

"It's close by, isn't it?" Tommy asked eagerly

"Yeah, just up the road."

Hearing this, Sadie stopped, "That wasn't a serious suggestion!" She said, her facial expression close to the one she had when Jude suggested she buy her wedding dress off the rack

"Think they'll take us?"

"It's worth a shot!"

"No! Guys! You are celebrities! You can't just get married any place-" But before Sadie could finish, Jude and Tommy were in the car, speeding out of the driveway

"Oh sure," Sadie muttered to herself, "No stress but speeding is okay…dumb ass." She sighed and plopped into the driver's seat of her car, following their path at a much slower rate

* * *

><p>"How perfect is this?" Jude asked, reentering the church her and Tommy visited on their road trip over a year prior; the place their relationship got its start, where Tommy finally admitted he had feelings for Jude<p>

Tommy grinned, "Don't why we didn't think of this before."

Jude laced her fingers through Tommy's as they strolled up the aisle, stopping right before the alter in the exact spot of the kiss that started it all. A wisp of a smile played on Jude's lips, "Seems like forever ago, doesn't it?"

Tommy nodded in agreement and turned so he and Jude were facing each other, smiling the playful smile Jude loved "But you're still a piece of work, Harrison."

Jude's smile stretched with quiet giggle, "And I still know that I love you…and that you make me crazy"

Tommy brought Jude close with a soft kiss to her lips, his hands rested delicately on her waist, while Jude's reached up to hang on his shoulders. Lips parted, then returned with more passion, deepening as the couple brought each other closer, securing the other with a loving hold

"I haven't been here in years!" Sadie exclaimed as she came up the steps

Tommy broke the kiss with a sigh, Jude chuckled, "And just like that day…"

Tommy smirked, "Yeah, really."

"But you can't get married here." Sadie said

Jude furrowed her brow, "Why not?"

"I seriously doubt the pastor would want hundreds of media vultures destroying the lawn."

Jude shrugged, "The media won't find out."

Sadie scoffed, "Yeah, like that's even possible."

"No one knows Jude's pregnant."

"Yeah." Jude said, "We can keep a secret." She dropped Tommy's hands and moved toward her sister, "Sadie, please. Work your magic – this is perfect for my wedding." She tilted her head lightly, trying to convey the importance of what she was asking

Sadie surrendered mostly out of exhaustion for searching for a venue and partly out of relief that Jude and Tommy finally found one they actually liked. Spitefully, she didn't want to give Tommy anything he wanted and considered just telling Jude that if she wanted it, to get it herself, but thought better of it. At the very least, she thought Jude deserved the wedding she wanted, "I'll talk to the pastor."

"Thank you!"

Sadie begrudgingly headed out to the church office, parting with a quiet grumble of "wait here."

Jude and Tommy took a seat in the front pew of the church, waiting in a comfortable silence before Tommy spoke up, "Did you ever think we'd make it here?"

"I hoped."

"Really? You were hoping we'd get married?"

Jude thought quietly for a moment, "Well, I guess I always hoped I'd never have to say goodbye to you, marriage fit in there somewhere"

Tommy smiled, "I won't say goodbye if you don't."

"Deal."


	45. Chapter 45

"Heard from Sadie yet?" Tommy asked before gently brushing the hair from Jude's shoulder, his head tilted affectionately as he watched her set up the soundboard

"Not about the church, no." Jude murmured, catching Tommy's hand as it fell from her shoulder; a silent gesture that she was paying attention, but busy, a habit she picked up from Tommy. She glanced once in his direction with a soft smile, "Worried we won't get it?"

Tommy shrugged and laced his fingers through Jude's, "Not really; I know it's ours."

Jude's free hand left the soundboard, turning in her chair to face Tommy, "Same here." She tilted Tommy's wrist to check the time on his watch, "Brendon's late." She muttered

Tommy smirked and eyed Jude playfully, "Pesky artists always showing up late."

Jude rolled her eyes, "I wasn't late that much," She said, "In fact, I believe I was early most of the time."

Tommy snorted, "You can believe it, doesn't make it true."

"It is true" Jude insisted

"Tell that to all the overtime I put in working on your albums."

Jude shook her head, "You can't blame me for your perfectionist ways." She pursed her lips around a smile and rolled her chair closer to Tommy's, "And besides, not all of that overtime was spent working."

"Not lately." Tommy agreed quietly, recalling the many late nights in the studio with Jude since they've been together

"Not ever." Jude smiled, "This has always been our place."

Tommy nodded, a similar smile creeping across lips as be prepared to answer, only to be cut off by Brendon's arrival "Hope there's still room for the rest of us." He said

Tommy glared at Brendon's back as he passed to take a seat in the chair behind Jude's, but forced a more polite composure when he turned to face them, "What are you two working on today?" He asked, his expectant glance focused on Jude

"Uhh…we're not sure yet." Jude blurted out quickly, not giving Brendon a chance to answer, "We've got a couple to choose from for the grand finale."

"What are they? I can help-"

"No, it's alright." Jude smiled reassuringly, "We got it."

Tommy shrugged, "Okay, so I guess I'll see you later." He leaned over to peck Jude on the lips and stood, making sure to glare at Brendon once more as he left

Jude exhaled a breath, laced with guilt for not telling Tommy truth. She just wasn't ready to go into the whole song issue with him yet, positive it would cause some sort of backlash.

"Boyfriend hasn't heard his song yet, huh?" Brendon asked, cockily happy to have a secret of Jude's to keep from Tommy, thinking it must mean that in this situation, she trusts him more than Tommy

"Shut up, Brendon." Jude spat, "And it's not [i]his[/i] song."

"It's for him, isn't it?"

"No."

"For him, about him – same diff." Brendon watched Jude for a moment, considering the time they'd spent in her apartment a couple days ago and wondering if she'd enjoyed it as much as he had, "So…we're cool, right?"

Jude, whose mind had been on the exact opposite path, narrowed her eyes at him in response, "Not really."

"Why?" Brendon asked, surprised, "I thought I fixed the problem"

"That was before you were talking about what a slut you think I am."

"[i]What?[/i]" Brendon demanded, "Is that what your boyfriend told you?"

"Not exactly." Jude admitted with a careless shrug, "But I wouldn't doubt it, either."

"Why not?" Brendon scowled when Jude didn't answer, "Your boy needs to stop putting this shit in your head."

Hearing this, Jude turned her attention to Brendon and jumped to Tommy's defense immediately, "Tommy didn't do any of it. It's you and this ridiculous thing you have going on with him."

"You think because I hate him, I called you a slut."

"No, I think you did it to get a rise out of him." Jude told him, "Same reason you came over the other day; you knew I'd let you in, and he'd be pissed."

"You've got your facts twisted, girl."

"Sure." Jude crossed her legs and turned away from him, "Get in the studio, we've got a lot to do."

"So that's it?" Brendon said angrily, shoving up from his chair, "You're just gonna believe him, and not even hear my side?"

"Yup." Jude gestured again for him to get into the studio and put on a pair of headphones

"That's fucked up." Brendon muttered angrily. From the other side of the glass he waited with a scowl for his cue, and when it came, the verses came out harsh and fueled, something that Jude thought wouldn't hurt, it was probably better that way, but when she began paying attention to what he was saying, the music came to a halt. "What the hell is that?" Jude demanded through the intercom, "Those are NOT the lyrics we agreed on!"

"I switched them up." Brendon shrugged, "Already cleared it with Darius." He added with spiteful arrogance

"Without clearing it with me first?"

"Why would I? You're not interested in hearing from me, remember?"

"This is different!" Jude stood, shoving her chair out behind her while doing so, "You can't release it like that!"

"Too much truth for you?"

"NO!" Jude's anger peeked with a noticeable spike, tired of going in rounds about the non-existent abuse going on between her and Tommy, "What you're describing is a horrible situation."

Brendon smirked, "So?"

"My name is on it." Jude seethed, "Everyone's going to think I'm a part of this! No" She shook her head, "You can't do this to my song – you can't use it as a weapon against Tommy!" She added, finally realizing a motive bigger than pissing her off

"He can't take it, he shouldn't have caused it…and it's not your song anymore, tiger."

Jude clenched down on her jaw hard enough to hurt, trying to find a way out of this. She knew the media field day this would cause, all the stress…and the hurt on Tommy's part. Isn't that why she did this deal to start with – to avoid hurting Tommy? To keep the status quo, to keep the happy little bubble they've managed to have since they've been back together

"You can try Darius if you want but he'll just tell you the same thing; my song, my rules."

Jude stared evenly at him for a moment before tossing her headphones to the soundboard, "Yeah, we'll see."


	46. Chapter 46 (Rewritten)

It wasn't often that Jude wished she'd turned down the G-major deal when she had the chance. Almost rare, those occasions were. But as Jude sat fuming in studio C, she wished she signed with another label instead of returning to G-major, working for less vindictive boss and simply not in this situation at all. Her motives for coming back have yet to have effect on her angry, spiteful thoughts. Even in studio C surrounded by what is usually a comforting atmosphere she wished with all her might that she could go back and fix every mistake she's made that has led up to this moment; all starting with playing Brendon her stupid song to start with. As Darius pointed out only a few moments prior, she had no say, there was nothing she could do about the changes Brendon made to the song. It was going out to the world like a huge bull's-eye on her and Tommy's backs, welcoming the new wave of media vultures to call Tommy a vicious abuser, and Jude a victim. She buried her face in her hands, gripped with worry and regret. She wasn't sure if Tommy could survive another round of media bullshit bringing up his past. He could crack, fall back into old ways…leave.

Jude exhaled at the thought, the pain of it causing a visible wince. That couldn't happen, she won't let it. She needed to tell him, warn him before the vultures swoop so he'd be prepared for the onslaught. This small task, however, required an amount of bravery she wasn't certain she possessed at the moment. She hates it so much when Tommy is mad at her, and admitting she'd made such a huge mistake that involved not only her musical freedom, but his as well, would certainly keep his anger fueled for a while.

Eventually Jude talked herself out of her chair and back into Studio B where Brendon was left waiting. He greeted her with a knowing, arrogant smirk that gained a scowl in return. "Go." She motioned to the studio, "Let's get this over with." She murmured with an edge of defeat. There really wasn't much she could do other than record the song, and if she was going to record it, it might as well be good.

"Hate to say 'I told you so' tiger, but-"

"Then don't." Jude grumbled, "In fact, try not speaking to me at all. Think you could handle that?"

"Damn girl, what's your problem? This song is gonna hit big and all you can worry about is how your boy toy will like it? Can you imagine how much it's gonna make-"

Again, Jude cut him off, angrier this time, "Do you think I care about the money? Or the music? I love Tommy," She said slower, as if trying to convey this very point for the millionth time, "I don't want him to get hurt or see his name in the tabloids for the next six months spreading those ridiculous rumors that _aren't. true_."

Brendon shrugged, "Sounded pretty true to me in that song of yours." He countered

"Forget about that damn song!" Jude snapped back, "What's behind it is none of your fucking business, so stop acting like it is!"

At that, Brendon's face hardened with offense, his conceded smirk disappearing under the angry frown of his lips.

"All you need to do is give me a track I can work with and _leave_." Jude sneered slightly

"You want to be that way? Fine." Brendon spat before retreating into the studio.

No sooner than the head phones were on his ears, Jude started the playback, rushing him into the first verse.

Despite wanting Brendon to be gone asap, he managed to find reasons to stick around while she edited the track, something she was begrudgingly thankful for when she needed him to redo something. He hung back, listening to the nearly completed project with immense approval. "You're talented" He informed Jude quietly

"Thanks." She muttered in response, glancing up at the clock, "Why don't you get going?" She asked with a slightly kinder tone to her voice while removing a disc from a paper sleeve, "We'll finish in the morning."

Brendon followed her gaze to the clock and furrowed his brow, "We've still got some time."

Jude exchanged one disc for another, putting Brendon's track in her bag, and the other into her laptop,

"I know but I have a few other things to work on."

Still confused, Brendon cautiously aligned his chair with Jude's, watching her plug headphones into the soundboard, "Things like what?"

Jude tossed him an unhappy look at his approach, "None of your business." She said, reaching over and closing her laptop, "I'll see you tomorrow."

Brendon huffed slightly as he shoved up from his seat and began gathering his stuff.

Jude waited until Brendon left to resume setting up the board to finish mastering her version of Love the Way You Lie. Even though she never intended for anyone to hear it, she began feeling the need to finish it several days ago. She'd been hearing it in her mind since she wrote it, and bringing it to live quickly became exhilarating, as it did with all of her other songs, but with all the drama and stress surrounding this song in particular it would be a relief to have it finished and locked away somewhere for good.

"Jude!"

Sadie's voice penetrated through the music streaming into Jude's ears, causing her to jolt in surprise, her hand instinctively shutting the laptop in front of her, "What?!"

Sadie eyed her sister questionably, "What are you doing?"

Jude exhaled, shoving her headphones to her shoulders, "Working."

"…on?"

"Brendon's song." She lied easily, lifting the laptop's lid, trying to play off her surprise

"Does his song involve secrets from the CIA or something?" Sadie asked

Jude sighed, "What do you want, Sadie?"

Sadie brushed off Jude's weird behavior with a shake of her head, "Where's Brendon? Darius wants to talk to him about the show tomorrow."

"He left."

"It's only six."

"He left _early_" Jude corrected with obvious irritation, wanting to get back to her song

"Why?" Sadie pulled out her phone to message Brendon before setting her clipboard down

Jude shrugged, "I didn't need him – the track is almost done."

Sadie leaned her hip against the doorframe, an almost apologetic smile coming to lips, knowing she was the reason Jude was forced to release her song, "I'm sure it's great." She offered

Jude glanced over at Sadie and rolled her eyes, "Don't bother, Sadie." She said quietly, having long gotten over her anger toward Sadie, "Is there anything else you want? I'm busy."

"Yes, actually. I need to talk to you…in private." She added, relaying importance with her tone.

Jude took a look around, making sure no one was coming before cautiously abandoning her laptop to follow Sadie down the hall, away from any potential lurking ears.

"You'll be happy to know that I booked your church," Sadie whispered and smiled slightly in response to Jude's responding smile, "But…"

Jude smile faltered slightly, "But what?"

"Its a few days later than your wedding date."

"So?"

"_So_ we have to reprint your invitations, rearrange the catering, flowers, decorators..." Sadie trailed

off with an exasperated sigh

"Decorators?" Jude asked, "Since when? There's nothing to decorate yet"

"But there WILL be, and these guys need to be booked weeks in advance"

Foreseeing where this conversation was headed, Jude frowned, "Sadie, I love that church. I can't get

married anywhere else."

"But the caterers-"

"Are the only ones on the planet?" Jude asked with a tilt of her head and a faux look of concern

"Well, no, but they're the best around-"

"Sadie, I don't need the very best of everything, I just want to get married."

"You deserve the very best of everything." Sadie said, Jude smiled "Especially considering your future husband."

"Who I love a ton and who also doesn't care about the quality of salmon at our reception. Please, Sadie, I know you can make it happen."

Sadie exhaled with defeat, "Fine. But I get to pick my maid of honor dress."

"You can use Tommy's credit card."

"Even better."

Jude smiled and hugged Sadie, "Thank you thank you thank you."

Sadie hugged her back with a quiet a reassignment, "You're welcome…and speaking of dresses, how is the search going for yours?"

"I don't know, I-"

The conversation cut off abruptly at the sound of music streaming from Studio B accompanied with Jude's voice. In a moment of panic, she rushed down hall and found Tommy standing over the soundboard listening to her song. He looked at her briefly, an unreadable expression on his face before returning his attention to the laptop. "H-hey babe." Jude greeted shakily, trying to act normal while her mind calculated a way around this situation, "What are you doing here? I thought your session ended an hour ago."

"It ran late." He replied, the song just entering its chorus, "Just thought I'd hang out here until you were done with Brendon."

"Jeez, Sadie, what's the big crisis?" Brendon said from somewhere behind Jude. At the sound of his voice a flurry of words flew from Jude's mouth before she could stop it, "I-I didn't write that song, Brendon did!...Isn't it good?"

A look of skepticism crossed Tommy's features as he turned again to look at Jude, "Brendon wrote this?"

Jude forced a swallow, her head nodding in response.

"Yes, sir!" Brendon's voice chimed in from over Jude's shoulder, Jude could practically see the smirk in his tone, "It's a hit, ain't it?"

Tommy took a moment to look between Jude and Brendon before answering with a quiet, "It's decent. Is this what you're preforming tomorrow?" He asked Brendon but his eyes never quite left Jude

"Still deciding on that." Brendon said, nudging Jude lightly as he passed her to take a seat on the couch, "Jude's got final say."

Tommy's gaze turned questioning toward Jude and she answered him with an almost inaudible, "No." She cleared her throat and took a more casual stance, "We're doing another version."

A smile finally crept on to Tommy's lips, "Sound's really good, Jude."

"Thanks."

"Jude's the best, you know?" Brendon said, staring at Jude from behind Tommy with a look that practically screamed 'You owe me for this' along with his signature smirk

"Yeah, I know." Tommy's eyes released Jude and she took a deep breath. She'd just gotten away with lying to Tommy…everything was fixed, kind of. She'd have to tell Tommy eventually, but as far as him or the media was concerned, Brendon wrote the song. It's a simple as that. No one could hound them over something that Jude had nothing to do with; it was the perfect solution. Why hadn't she thought of this sooner? All she had to do was take her name away from the project all together, leaving no one the wiser. Brendon and Darius will get their money and Tommy won't get hurt or harassed. Jude grinned.

"So, you're sticking around?" Jude asked Tommy, making her way over to him. The song cut off at Jude's edit after the second chorus, leaving their surroundings in silence with the exception of Sadie getting Brendon from the room.

Tommy shook his head, another smile forced to his lips, "Nah, I'll just leave you guys to it."

"Okay." Jude said, leaning up for a quick kiss on his lips, "I'll see you at home?"

"Yeah."

Jude watched him leave with a small smile of relief, happy that everything seemed to have worked out.

Jude stayed at Gmajor long enough to threaten Brendon into keeping up the charade with Tommy until she could tell him the truth, and to talk Darius into putting a decoy name in place of hers on the track credits. Tomorrow night's performance was no longer a thing of dread, and she was actually pretty excited for it. The dress for the show is spectacular, Sadie managed to get Jude high heels that proposed no threat of falling and she'll be able to get a few plugs in for the premiere of her and Tommy's MTV special. All in all, she was in a really good mood when she finally got home, following Tommy by a couple hours.

"Tommy," She called, heading for the kitchen, "Let's go out tonight - I'm starving!" She chuckled "But that's nothing new." She ventured to their room when he didn't answer, "Tom?"

"I'm in here." Tommy finally said, directing Jude's attention to the bed, where Tommy sat on the very edge, his elbows on his knees

"Everything alright?" Jude asked, passing him to go to the closet where she changed out of her blouse and into a t-shirt

Tommy kept his eyes down, a hard set to his lips, "You must think I'm an idiot." He muttered, just loud enough for Jude to hear

Jude smiled and sat next to him on the bed, wrapping her arm around his, "No, babe, I think you're a genius – especially with all that fancy book learnin'" She joked, but the humor drained from her face when Tommy met eyes with her, "…What happened?"

Tommy removed his arm from hers and brought her journal into view from where it was hidden under his leg, "Jude…we've been working together for over four years, been together for almost two…I like to think that I know you better anyone."

Jude stared down at her journal with a growing knot in her stomach, "You do." She said softly

Tommy nodded, "You think that I wouldn't know what something you wrote sounds like? Or know enough to recognize the situation in that song of yours?"

Jude floundered to respond, a look of pure guilt on her features, "Tommy…I-I was going to tell you, I just-"

"When?"

"Soon…" Jude tried to sound assuring, "After the show tomorrow, preferably."

Tommy took a calming breath, trying to avoid getting seriously angry and just allow himself to be honest with the underline hurt he felt, "Where is it?"

"What?"

Tommy dropped the journal on Jude's lap, "The rest of the song. Where is it?"

Jude held her journal between her hands, her gaze unintentionally traveling to her guitar sitting propped up against the wall, "Umm, it's in my guitar case."

Tommy shoved up from the bed, his haste action jostling Jude's posture.

"Tommy," She objected, rushing by him to snag the guitar case out of his reach "You don't have to read it now, you're upset."

The peak in his temper became visible with the tapping motion of his fingers against his leg, his hand itching to simply snatch the case away from Jude, "I want to know what's so important that you had to hide from me."

"I only hid it from you to – well, to avoid a reaction like this."

"No, Jude. This has nothing to do with your song - I'm pissed because you lied to me about it" Tommy spat and made a reach for the case but Jude yanked it back

"Can you just let me explain the situation-" Before Jude could finish, Tommy got a hold of the case and began riffling through the front pocket. "Tommy," Jude sighed, the knot in her stomach worsening along with her panic level, "Listen, I wrote that when I was sad and depressed and I just want it to be put away for good…" She watched as Tommy read over the lyrics, standing very still and emotionless. Unable to do much else, even though it was obvious he wasn't listening, Jude kept explaining until Tommy interrupted her.

"When did you write this?"

The amount of pain in Tommy's voice elicited a sad breath from Jude's lips, her eyes turning sympathetic, "A while ago…after that video of us fighting came out."

"_Of us fighting_"… Tommy thought, considering the generosity in her words; it was hardly _them_ fighting, more like him blowing up at her without much cause…as usual. "And you played it for Brendon?"

"Listen. I was just messing around in the studio, I had no idea he was recording-"

"But you did play it for him?" Tommy pressed, aggravated.

"Yeah." Jude admitted in a small voice, almost unwillingly.

Tommy's head shook with that quiet speculative nod of his, his eyes still on Jude's haste handwriting. _But you'll always be my hero, even though you've lost your mind._ "You trusted him but not me." There was an accusation in his voice that made Jude wince as she realized this was about a whole lot more than keeping a secret from Tommy and lying to him about it, she made Brendon help. "How could you even…write something like this?"

_There's gravel in our voices, glass is shattered from the fight_

"What do you mean?"

"I thought it was behind us, Jude!" Tommy snapped unintentionally, falling back in the comfort zone of his anger, "That it was in the past for good – that it was between us only!"

"It IS between us only!" Jude shouted back "I didn't tell Brendon a thing!"

"THIS" Tommy thrust the lyrics up into Jude's view "Isn't telling him anything?! And soon the world is going to know!"

Jude felt her stress rising and consciously calmed her tone, "Babe," obvious patience In her voice, "this isn't going out to the world. That's my version that I'm editing for me – no one else."

Tommy's gaze turned to a glare, "I heard the other one, Jude. It's worse."

"I know…but let me explain! This wasn't my idea in any way, Brendon-"

"You shouldn't have even written the damn thing." Tommy muttered harshly, the corner of the page now crumpled within his fist. _Even angels have their wicked schemes, but you take that to new extremes_

Jude's sentence cut off with an angry glint, "Excuse me? You can't be mad at me for writing about something that YOU made ME feel! It's your fault I wrote 'the damn thing'!"

"Don't you think I know that?! Don't you think that I HATE myself for making you feel this way?! GOD, Jude, I KNOW it's my fault, I KNOW you have every right to hate me-"

"But I don't." Jude interjected

"No, you just don't trust me." Tommy finally let go of the paper, letting it fall creased and crumpled to the floor. _You feed me fables from your hands with violent words and empty threats. _

Jude took a step forward with a stern "I do trust you."

"Not enough."

"This has nothing to do with trust. I was worried it would hurt you, or make you…"

"Turn back into what I was."

Jude swallowed, her big eyes almost scared as she confirmed his thought with a sheepish nod

"I'm not that person anymore…can't you tell?" Tommy asked, emotion edging into his voice, "I thought you had more faith in me than that." he surrendered the argument and his anger with a quiet exhale, his posture drooping.

"Tom," Jude spoke gently after a moment of silence, watching as Tommy sat on the bed again, his frown directed toward his shoes, "I have faith in you." She moved to his side, her hand brushing along his chin, trying to persuade his eyes toward her, "I just get scared sometimes. You have to understand that."

"I do." Tommy said, his voice hoarse with emotion, "What I don't understand is why this-" He gestured to the paper on the floor "-didn't stay private."

Jude sat next to him, her hands now clasping one of his, still trying to make eye contact, "That's what I'm trying to tell you," She said softly, urgently, "It was wrong of me to play it for Brendon, yes. But I had no idea he was recording-"

"Jude," Tommy cut her off, "I really don't hear it right now." He gently removed her hands from his, "Can you just…leave me alone? Can you do that for me?"

Jude's throat tightened at this request. It was a first for Tommy to ask such a thing; usually arguments ended with a conclusion or one of them storming out. But this was different. Tommy was giving up the fight and distancing himself in the process, "You want me to leave you alone?" she asked

Tommy finally looked up at Jude, his face smooth and emotionless with the exception of the moisture rimming his eyes. "Yes…please."

Jude nodded and rose from the bed. Her soft steps brought her out to the hallway where she shut the bedroom door behind her. Her breathing became labored with stress and emotion, angry with herself for letting this happen and hurting immensely for the pain she caused Tommy. Her legs weakened beneath her, causing her to sink down to the floor, her back propped up against the wall beside the door, wondering how she could've made such a horrible mess.


	47. QUESTION

Hello readers! I'm wanting to revive this story. Is there any of you left who'd want to read the rest of this story? Please let me know so I can get writing! 


	48. Chapter 47

By the time Tommy made a reappearance, Jude had been settled on the couch for over an hour, an untouched take out container on the table in front of her. She'd ordered food knowing she had to eat something but really didn't have the stomach for it. When Tommy was in her line of vision, she glanced cautiously in his direction, trying to read his mood. "There's food in the microwave for you," She murmured tentatively, "Wasn't sure if you'd be hungry…"

"Thought I heard the door," Tommy said as he sat next to Jude, "Thanks." Noticing that Jude had been crying, he leaned in and kissed her softly on the cheek, "I'm not mad."

Jude turned toward him and made eye contact, frowning when she recognized Tommy's guarded gaze. "No?"

Tommy pulled her close to his side, "I'm not. I just needed a minute to clear my head."

Jude felt the tears coming and made no move to stop them, whispering a quiet "I'm really sorry, Tom" before they fell down her cheeks, "I was going to tell you the truth, I swear."

"Why didn't you tell me truth from the start?"

Jude gave a small shrug of her shoulders, "I was planning on telling you after the show tomorrow, but when you heard the song in the studio I – I don't know – I panicked. I didn't want you to find out that way." She shook her head softly, thoughtfully, "The stupid song wasn't supposed to leave my journal to start with."

"And now you're mastering it behind my back." Tommy muttered bitterly, "With Brendon"

Jude sniffled, "Not intentionally. I never wanted any of this to happen. I wrote the song because sometimes what happened, it…it overwhelms me. Even now I find myself trying to make sense of it all," She wiped a tear from her face and turned to look at him, a pleading look to her eyes, "Those lyrics represent who we were in that place, all that happened. And as badly as you don't want it released, I don't want it released either. That's why I only gave Brendon the chorus to work with – everything else in his version is completely his. I didn't even know abou-"

"You're avoiding the problem." Tommy interrupted "I'm not mad about the song – I mean, I hate the way I'm portrayed in the song but that's my fault." He forced a swallow, his voice growing thick with emotion, "It all overwhelms me too, Jude. I get caught up thinking about it and honestly, I wonder what the hell you're still doing here, with me – especially after hearing something like that…" he paused and offered a small pained smile while reaching up to brush the hair from her face, "I guess I never heard your point of view before, not like that. All the pain you were in…it kills me." He took a deep breath, "But I'm not that person I was in New Brunswick-"

"I know that"

"-I'm not even the person I was before I went there. I'm better now, I know I am."

"You are," Jude agreed wholeheartedly, taking his hand within her own, "Both of us are better."

"Then why do you feel like you still have to keep things from me?" Tommy asked, his eyes shifting from guarded to pained

"Because I worry, Tommy" Jude answered honestly "And that doesn't mean I don't love you, it doesn't mean I don't trust you, it doesn't mean that I don't believe you changed. It's just a worry…and it nags at me sometimes." She brought her hand up to rest on his face, "I'm still getting used to the new you, just like you are. The last thing in this world I would ever want to do is hurt you and I knew the song would hurt you, so I put off telling you about it – even if it meant lying about it."

Tommy nodded with understanding "Okay," he said quietly, "I get that. But how can I ever show you I've changed if you don't give me the chance?"

"I hear what you're saying," She said, "I'll get better at this, I promise."

Tommy smiled a little, "That used to be my line."

Jude leaned in and wrapped both arms around Tommy's neck, pausing to press her lips to his cheek before resting her chin on his shoulder, "I'm sorry about this whole mess." She sighed "I should've never played the song for Brendon."

Tommy's arms hung loosely around Jude, his head resting against hers, "How exactly did Brendon get involved in this, anyway?"

Jude pulled back and rolled her eyes "He found the lyrics in my journal and I ended up playing it for him." She let out an irritated breath, "What I didn't know is that he recorded it and handed it over to Darius –"

"He what?" Tommy demanded "He gave your music to Darius?"

"Yeah," Jude breathed out "Then Darius blackmailed me into letting Brendon record his own version."

"Blackmailed you? Blackmailed you with what?"

Jude bit on her lower lip, tempted to lie but did what Tommy asked and trusted him with the truth, "He was going to take your album away."

"My album?" Tommy asked, then realized, "He found out about the work we've been doing."

Jude nodded, "I don't know how, but he did. He said he would stop us from working on your music if I gave him the song…and here we are."

"Jude," Tommy sighed, aggravated, "Why didn't you tell me?" He shook his head, "I would've never let Darius take over your song like that."

"I would never let Darius take your music away from you, either." Jude said pointedly, "I was trying to help you."

Tommy exhaled a loud breath through his nose, "You need to tell me about these things, Jude." He said, his posture falling to rest against the couch cushions, "I don't even know if Darius has any legal hold on my work."

"He said he did." Jude said quietly

"I'll review my contract with Tony, but I really don't think Darius can do anything – other then tell us we can't work in his studio, I guess."

Jude looked to him over her shoulder, "But we can work in the studio still. Nothing is changed, Darius said he'd leave it alone."

"For now." Tommy muttered, his annoyance evident in his tapping foot

Jude shrugged, defeated, and brought her take out container to her lap, "It'll be fine," she assured, "It was in the agreement that he would let us keep working. I'm sure he'll be even happier now that I'm taking my name off the project completely."

"You are? Why?"

"The song is an invitation for the media to be all over you like they were before. I don't want that." She unwrapped a plastic fork and offered it to Tommy along with her container of lasagna. He hesitated but eventually sat up and took a bite, "It's better that Darius has it." she concluded

They ate in silence for a moment, Tommy's eyes downcast and thoughtful "Don't take your name off it," He said "That song is going to be successful. It's powerful. No reason you shouldn't be proud of your work."

"I can think of one."

"Don't worry about me. We've battled the media before, it'll happen again a hundred times. I'm not worried about it."

Jude wanted to point out that she didn't want to see him attacked by the media but bit her tongue. "Okay. I won't take my name off it...I'll use and alias." She decided "There. Problem solved." Her eyes stayed on her fork as she nervously picked at her food, "So...are we okay?"

"I'm not mad," Tommy said again, "I'm just hurt, I guess. I want you to trust me like you used to trust me." He admitted

"I'll get back to that place Tommy, I promise." She leaned her head against his shoulder, "It's gonna take some time to get used to the bigger things that have changed." Her eyes met his and she smiled softly, "I know how hard you're trying. I see it everyday."

Tommy returned the smile halfheartedly, his mind processing a dozen things at once, "You're the only person who has ever believed in me as strongly as you do...I don't like feeling like I've lost some of your belief in me."

"If that were true, we wouldn't be here." Jude set the food container aside and squeezed Tommy's hand reassuringly, "You still have all of my love, and all of my respect." An unintentional smile graced her lips as the words escaped them; love evident on her features.

Tommy smiled more fully now, relieved, "If you say so."

Jude playfully rolled her eyes and kissed him once on the lips, "You know it's true."

Tommy's arms enveloped her in a short embrace and, without further discussion, stood, "I'm going to bed. Early day tomorrow."

Jude's momentary relief washed away and was replaced with a nagging feeling in her stomach, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Tommy responded unconvincingly, "Just tired. This day..." he trailed off with a sigh

"Okay...I'll be in a bit."

"Night."

And without further word, Tommy disappeared back into the bedroom. Jude took a deep breath, feeling very uneasy all of the sudden. Tommy wasn't okay. He was hurt and disappointed in how she had handled the situation. If he was angry, she couldn't tell, but she couldn't blame him if he was either. She tried to tell herself that he'll be better in the morning but the argument wasn't convincing. The knots in her stomach grew and her eyes fell closed, feeling emotional all over again, praying that Tommy could find it in him to forgive her soon.


	49. Chapter 48

Jude eventually made it to the bedroom after a few hours spent in and out of sleep on the couch. It was well after 2AM when she crawled under the blanket, purposefully settling in the middle to be closer to Tommy who had retreated as far to his side of the bed as possible. His back toward her, she listened through the quiet darkness to his breathing and reached over to rest her hand on his bicep, wondering if he was fully asleep or not. After a moment, Tommy's fingers wrapped softly around hers. "You awake, babe?" Jude whispered "A little." He answered hoarsely.

Jude intertwined her fingers with his, pulling gently so he'd turn to face her, "Why so restless, Quincy?" She asked softly

Tommy hesitated but decided to turn to face Jude, dropping her hand in the process "Just one of those nights." He murmured in return

Jude frowned and moved to rest her head on his shoulder "I'm sorry, Tom."

"It's okay."

"It's not," She disagreed, "I know I made a mistake…it won't happen again."

Tommy hugged Jude close to him and kissed her forehead. For a second Jude's mind flooded with relief in his embrace but it drained just as quickly when he released her and turned his back to her again. A heavy sigh on her lips, she turned and fell into a restless sleep.

"I know he's not okay." Jude griped to Sadie, who was busy at work organizing a press release for the Instant Star finalists to make their pre-show statements and interviews. Jude watched her sister flit around the front desk with minimal interest, her mind on Tommy, "Did he seem weird when he came in this morning?"

"I have better things to do then watch for Tommy's moods." Sadie muttered, holding a phone to her ear, "Why don't you just talk to him?"

"I tried that," Jude whined, "I apologized and we talked it out but he's still got this vibe around me."

Sadie rolled her eyes, doing very little to keep her annoyance in check, "Tommy has a temper Jude, you know that."

"He's not even mad at me – I don't know what he is. He's just being different."

Sadie set the phone in the receiver glanced up at her sister's frowning face, "Jude," She said patiently, "I know it's been a while, but you're the one who messed up this time. Let Tommy deal with it how he wants."

Jude scowled softly to herself, knowing Sadie's right but not wanting to admit it, "I'm not saying I don't deserve it." She grumbled

"Good. Because lying to each other is the last thing you two need to be doing. Learn from this…your relationship is hanging on a prayer as it is." She added bitterly

"We're a lot stronger then you give us credit for."

"We'll see." Sadie said as she tucked some papers into a clipboard and handed it to Jude, "Here. Bring this up to wardrobe and tell them I need it signed asap. We can't afford any leaks today."

"Confidentiality agreement?" Jude questioned "Instant Star is the CIA now?"

"We just don't want anything they could overhear to be on tomorrow's papers."

Jude smirked sarcastically "Oh, like Brendon being rigged to win?"

"Something like that." Sadie muttered "Now go! We need you dressed and ready for show time!"

Despite Sadie's urging, Jude took her time heading up to wardrobe, her mind heavy with what Sadie said. Maybe she was right, maybe all Tommy needed was some time to regroup before fully forgiving her. Jude knew that of it was Tommy lying to her, she'd need some time too. They were supposed to be past all that, after all. Complete honesty was the agreement.

By the time Jude landed in the styling chair, she was completely exhausted and happily sat back and allowed the stylists take over. The feel of the comb through her hair was almost lulling her to sleep when an obnoxious voice reached her ears.

"You guys got your work cut out for you today, huh?" Brendon chuckled, taking the chair next to Jude, "Why the heavy bags, Harrison?"

"Don't call me that" Jude said sharply

"Oh, is that, like, reserved for boyfriend only-" He caught Jude's sideways glare "-Fiancé, sorry."

"Thank you. And yes, only Tommy calls me that…I used to hate it, actually" She added thoughtfully

"Fine." Brendon surrendered with a surprising lack of resistance that made Jude eye him suspiciously "What? I'm just trying to keep the peace for the big show tonight."

Jude rolled her eyes and faced forward, "Good luck with that. And by the way, I wouldn't have bags under my eyes if you hadn't caused so much trouble."

"Whoa last I checked I helped you out yesterday."

Jude winced as her stylist pulled her hair into a tight rubber band hold, sectioning the hair to be curled "Last I checked, you caused the problem to start with."

"True." Brendon admitted all too easily "And I'm sorry about that, okay? I fucked up."

Jude turned to him incredulously, her eyes in suspicious squint, "What's your angle?"

Brendon smiled down toward his lap, humor in his eyes, "No angle."

"Really?"

"Really." Brendon cast her a sideways smirk "I want a clean slate so we can start fresh as artist and producer."

"Well as of today, I'm no longer your producer. The track is done."

"How about you produce my record, then?" He asked quietly, weary of her answer, "Darius is probably gonna put you on it, but I won't let him unless you want to. Promise."

Jude sat quietly, taken back by his fresh new attitude "Are you serious?" She asked "Why would you do that?"

Brendon thought before answering, choosing his words carefully, "Because I want the experience to be good for the both of us…Think about it – it'll be your first time producing a whole album solo, and it'll be my first time recording an album. I want us to have fun, not fight the whole time."

Jude's thoughts turned more positive at his tempting offer and a smile began to creep its way to her lips, "Thanks for the confidence but I don't think Darius will let me have a whole record yet."

Brendon shrugged "So we'll have someone check in every now and then. No harm." His head tilted to the side, capturing Jude's gaze "It's a great opportunity for the both of us."

"It is." Jude agreed softly "I'll think about it."

Brendon was dressed for the show and ushered off in private car to the venue nearly an hour before Jude so when she arrived, Brendon was already on stage doing a dress rehearsal to a backing track with her voice booming through the speakers. "Wow." She breathed to herself, taking in the high-tech stage before her. Instant Star has surely improved since she won years ago. The stage director came to Jude's side and led her to the dressing rooms, reviewing her part in the show. There wasn't anything complicated about the performance but she was grateful for the rehearsal time when she caught sight of the shoes she was assigned. "Just pray I don't fall." She laughed to Brendon a while later

He waved off her statement, "Nah, you'll be fine." He offered a steadying hand for Jude as they took the stairs off stage and headed toward the dressing rooms. When she wasn't looking, his eyes shamelessly took her in, paying close attention to the break in her red dress that allowed a space of exposed skin below her breasts. He's never seen her so dressed up before; even for the semi-finals she wasn't dressed this well. Just as a compliment was coming to his lips, Jude left his side and walked over to a waiting Tommy.

Brendon watched their encounter intently, intrigued by Tommy's coldness, wondering if they were in fight. Tommy's never regarded her in the way he is now and Brendon felt a little bubble of hope in his chest. Maybe he had a chance…

"You were a little flat in rehearsal, okay? Watch your pitch." Tommy said, adjusting the headset over his ear "And when the performance is over, you need to go straight to your dressing room and change for the crowning."

"I know." Jude replied, her tone all business in response to Tommy's all business attitude "I got it."

"They're getting the audience together now; you're up first so be ready to go live in 20." He reached over and gently swept a lose curl back behind Jude's ear and smiled softly, "Blow them away."

Jude attempted a smile in return, "I will." A scratchy voice in Tommy's headset disrupted the silence between them, ordering him back to the sound room "Make me sound good, Quincy." She ordered playfully, trying for normal but frowned when his only response was a quick kiss on the cheek before disappearing down a hallway.

Brendon held back for a moment. Watching Jude's saddened face made his hope droop a little. She's clearly caught up in whatever's going on with Tommy. He took a step forward and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, "C'mon superstar. Let's get this show going, yeah?"

"Sure."

Keeping his arm around her shoulders, Brendon led Jude toward her dressing room "Where'd Tommy take off to?"

Jude shrugged, "I'm sure he's got work to do."

Brendon pursed his lips thoughtfully, coming to a stop at Jude's door "If you were my girl, looking as amazing as you do tonight, I wouldn't be able to leave your side for a second."

"It's not like that," Jude protested "He's busy, he's got" Her sentence broke as she tried to come up with something "…_stuff_ to do. I'm sure Darius has him working hard." As she said it, she could hear the uncertainty in her voice and knew she wasn't fooling anyone.

Brendon smiled knowingly and released his hold "See you out there, tiger."

Jude didn't bother trying to relax in her dressing room. She remained on her feet in a quiet back and forth pace until she was called to perform. A few wild thoughts before she stepped on to stage included wondering if she could just do a different song all together. Brendon was a free stylist, he could keep up with a song change, couldn't he? She sat at the piano in silence, waiting for her cue. Eyes on the keys, she frantically searched her brain for another song of hers she could do, something that even Darius would love enough to set aside any consequence. Her brain twisted in knots, worrying about the media and what this song could do to Tommy's reputation; worrying about how Tommy was acting; worrying enough that she could see her hands shaking with anxiety. Before she could come up with anything, her name was announced, she was lit under a spotlight and the sound of applause filled her ears. This was it. Too late for changes now. All cameras turned to face their tiny eyes on her.

Jude kept her face forward as her shaky fingers played the opening chords. The microphone at her lips felt cold and intimidating and the audience felt more like enemies then fans. She knew what tomorrow's headlines would be; she knew that the clapping hands cheering her on would soon turn judgmental as they held tomorrow's tabloids. She played the opening sequence once more than she was supposed to, making sure she had the composer to sing. "_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn?_" Her voice echoed from the microphone to the speakers and her mind was overwhelmed with what Tommy was thinking at this moment. Was he even watching? "_That's alright because I like the way it hurts_." Her eyes left the microphone and glanced up once to see if Tommy was watching from backstage. Nothing. "_Just gonna stand there and hear me cry?_" Maybe he was watching from the sound room, she thought "_Well, that's alright because I love the way you lie…I love the way you lie…" _

A moment of silence swept across the venue as the stage fell dark. Only seconds ticked by before the speakers burst to life with percussion and the stage exploded with colors of yellow and bright orange. The audience came to their feet when Brendon began his rap and Jude stepped away from the piano to join him center stage, her face lit in a small smile, the performer in her beginning to surface.

"_I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like_

_And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe _

_I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight _

_And as long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight _

_High off her love, drunk from her hate_

_It's like I'm huffing paint and I love her the more I suffer, I suffocate  
>And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me<br>She frickin hates me and I love it."_

Jude's focus shifted between Brendon and the audience. Surely they were eating it up, but where they relating the song to her? To her relationship? She wasn't sure. Her eyes shifted upward to try to get a glance into the sound room but couldn't see beyond the lights

_"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn? _

_Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts._

_Just gonna stand there and here me cry?_

_Well that's alright because I love the way you lie_

_I love the way you lie." _

As hard as she tried she couldn't help but relate some of Brendon's lyrics to her time in New Brunswick. Somethings were so spot on, like he'd been in the room with them. With this thought Jude came to a small realization: Of course Tommy's upset. He relates to the lyrics too. He must be seeing the same flashbacks she is. And not only is he hurt, he's worried about her in the same way she's worried about him. Always trying to protect each other.

"_..So they say you're best to go your separate ways  
>Guess that they don't know you 'cause today that was yesterday<br>Yesterday is over, it's a different day  
>Sound like broken records playing over but you promised her<br>Next time you show restraint  
>You don't get another chance<br>Life is no Nintendo game  
>But you lied again<br>Now you get to watch her leave out the window  
>Guess that's why they call it window pane"<em>

"_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn? _

_Well that's alright because I like the way it hurts._

_Just gonna stand there and here me cry?_

_Well that's alright because I love the way you lie_

_I love the way you lie." _

"…_Baby, please come back  
>It wasn't you, baby it was me<br>Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems  
>Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano<br>All I know is I love you too much to walk away though  
>Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk<br>Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk  
>Told you this is my fault<br>Look me in the eyeball  
>Next time I'm pissed, I'll aim my fist at the drywall<br>Next time? There won't be no next time!  
>I apologize even though I know its lies<br>I'm tired of the games I just want her back…"_

Jude had decided after a lengthy discussion with Darius that the bridge from her original version should be a part of the show and even she couldn't deny that it worked nicely into the performance. When her cue hit, the stage lights calmed down to a subtle red/orange and died out bit by bit as she made her way back to the piano

"_So maybe I'm a masochist, I try to run but I don't ever want to leave _

_Until the walls are going up in smoke with all our memories…" _

Nothing but a single spotlight and a light red glow from the beneath Jude's feet lit the stage. The venue returned to the peaceful quiet of just Jude and the piano as she softly sang

"_Just gonna stand there and watch me burn…_

_That's alright because I like the way it hurts _

_Just gonna stand there and here me cry…_

_That's alright because I love the way you lie…ohhh_

…_I love the way you lie."_

For the first time her eyes met the camera and bore straight into all watching televisions "I love the way you lie." And with the flip of a switch the whole place cascaded into darkness. Jude took that moment close her eyes and take a real breath. It's finally over.

Jude and Brendon were urged off stage by anxious set designers wanting to set up for the next performance and the second they were out of sight, Brendon swept Jude up into his arms with an exhilarated cheer "WE DID IT! That was amazing!"

While taken off guard, Jude didn't really resist the embrace – grateful for it, actually "SO amazing!" She laughed and came away from his arms "You got this, B." She told him sincerely, "The whole world is yours now."

"Thanks" Brendon beamed, breathless

"I have to go get changed, but you did great, okay?" Jude rushed, spotting her stylist coming down the hall, "Keep cool!" She added as she turned away and was about to begin the changing process when she noticed Tommy sitting in her dressing room. His posture seemed tense, his eyes trained on the small television broadcasting the show live. "Hey baby" Jude greeted, nervous again "Did you catch the show?"

Tommy stood and offered an almost believable smile, "You did well. Really great show." He enveloped her in a tight embrace

"Are you okay?" Jude whispered, her hand resting gently on his cheek

"I'm fine," He whispered in return "Are you?"

Jude couldn't help the smile that came across her face; she was right, he was worried too "I'm good. Promise."

Tommy stood back while stylists got Jude changed and removed her hair from the messy bun to her signature curled style and watched the show progress. He wanted to roll his eyes at how perfectly staged it all was. All the fan voting and discussions amongst the judges meant nothing; Brendon would be the winner no matter what.

He offered his arm to Jude when she was ready to take her seat in the audience "Darius wants us to sit together for the rest of the show as promotion for our MTV special. Maybe it'll combat some of the headlines tomorrow."

Jude nodded, happy to have this time with Tommy after him being so distant all day "Let's give them a good show, then." She smiled and leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek when a camera turned to face them. Once they were seated, she sat close to his side with his arm looped around her neck.

"Just so you know," Tommy said "You'll be heading home in the private car, and I'm gonna head over to the studio. Don't know what time I'll be back."

Jude wanted to ask why but decided not to, worried the anxiety would come across her face, and she couldn't afford to be anything but happy with all these people watching, "Okay."


End file.

Instant Star