Naruto Tsunade's Court Room

**Tsunade's Courtroom**

Big and luxury wooden double door, guarded by two Ambu, swords on their backs, mask on their faces. A long hallway, with bright wine colored carpet divided two set of rows of matching wooden benches, that were filled with spectators. The said hallway ended in a large open area, with two podiums in each side. At the end of this magistral room, a raised desk, behind it, a beautiful, woman wearing her blond hair in two low ponytails. Ready for another day of work. Being a Hokage implied, to maintain the peace of the people. When two parties couldn't see eye to eye, and an agreement was out of their reach, they would come to her. The job was not easy, but it had to be done.

_"Welcome to Tsunade's Courtroom."_ A faceless voice echoed from the speaker around the, court like room stenography. Konoha has been in a rough ground economically lately. And for the sake of her village, Tsunade accepted the proposition of doing this part of her job on T.V. Which was was a great hit, by the way. _"And with you, Tsunade-sama, please a round of applause for our dearest Hokage."_

The audience,-at the off camera sings indicating applause- clapped their hands, as Tsunade appeared on screen. She was seated on her comfy chair. "Yeah, yeah, Welcome and thank you for watching us at home, yada yada yada. Let's get done with this." The fact that she needed this gig for the sake of the village, didn't mean she had to like it. Sake, that's what she would love to have right now. Nothing better than a fine bottle of rice wine. "Let the litigants come in."

The wooden doors opened and three teenagers around the ages of 16, made the way in. A blond boy with whiskers on his cheeks lead the way. Behind him, a girl with pink hair, and emerald like eyes. Finally, another boy with spiky black hair and a glare that could kill, right after them after them.

The blond and pinkett stood behind the plaintiff podium, while the raven haired teen, was on the defendant.

Tsunade, let out a big sigh, as a headache clawed up to her head. Those three together meant problems. Skipping all the formalities and greetings, Tsunade spoke up, "State who you are, what is the reason of your conflict, What relation you have with the defendant and what is that you wish to solve this dispute."

The blonde boy stared at her with weird and sad. "But Granny Tsunade, you know who we are."

The Godaime face slapped herself, as to get patience, "Yes, yes I do, but the viewers at home don't, so respond to my questions. Before I dismiss this case."

"Hehe," he laughs awkwardly, as he rubbed the back of his head. The girl was trying to hide her face of the embarrassed moment. "Etto, I'm Uzumaki Naruto, and this is Haruno Sakura. We're teammates, Team 7. That guy over there," he pointed at the so no happy teen in the other podium, who rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Is Uchiha Sasuke, he is our friend, also part of team seven."

"Was." Sasuke specified coldly, as he looked to his nails, he was bored.

"No Sasuke, you're still our friend, and part of this team. I don't care what you say, or what you believe. That doesn't change what we feel about you, you'll see, dattebayo." Naruto scream, with a voice full of passion and emotion, that move more than one to tears in the studio.

"I could care less what you 'feel', the only thing that matter is my purpose in life, and that kind of unnecessary bonds is no more than a nuisance."

"Sasuke-kun..." mutter Sakura between sod.

Tap, Tap, Tap. Tsunade's gavel went, "Order, order. Uchiha, you'll have your turn to expose your side. Right after I get theirs. Please, no more interruptions, the sooner we are done with this, the sooner we get the hell out of here."

More than gladly, the teen obeyed. Get the hell out of there. That's what he wanted to do, he didn't even want to be there to begin with. But he was caught by the most powerful genjutsu, the most terrifying one ever, the one that no one could scape...

_'FanFiction no Jutsu.'_ the most evilly technique ever cast by the _'Fangirls Clan.'_

He was glad that this time, they kept him straight...For now.

"Naruto, Sakura, What's that you are demanding from Sasuke?" Tsunade asked in a really pissed off.

"Simple,"Naruto replied. "We want him to leave that stupid snake, and get his ass back to Konoha."

"Mind elaborating details, like who is that snake."

"Granny? You know who, he was your team-mate."

Tsunade pinched the bridge of her nose, "Viewer, Naruto, viewers don't know."

"Naruto," Sakura whispered very angrily, "Just stay quiet for a moment and let me do this, you're embarrassing yourself, and dragging me with you."

"Yes, please." Begged the Sennin.

"Well, the three of us were part of team seven, as we stated before. But about three years ago, Sasuke left the village to pressure his revenge. He went to seek help from Orochimaru, a sick, perverted pedophile, that lures naive, and confused kids, with the promises of power." The kunoichi said, as her tears ran down her cheeks.

Sasuke looked at her with narrowed eyes.

"Yeah," Naruto yelled, displaying an angry face. "That guy is just using him, we want him to come back, before he gives his body and soul to that monster. He also made him take a pill, that made him grow things."

Everyone in the audience gasped, not believing that they just heard. An old lady fainted. Where was the morals of now day's youth? and a few girls cried over how it would be a waste of such handsome guy, if his body belonged to said perverted.

"Shut up, dobe," Sasuke yelled back as his cheeks went scarlet red, when he realized that the blonde said was interpreted in the wrong way, very wrong way. "Don't speak of what you don't know."

"Don't call me dobe, temme. And I know, what I'm saying. That creep promised you power in exchanges of your body. And you're so blind by hate that you actually believed him and went by his side, knowing that once he get you in his hands, you're done for it."

_'Whore.'_ A male voice came from the expectation.

Sasuke shoot a deadly -activated Sharingan- look to said view. Who, after that, had to be removed from the set, because he was having a seizure.

Tap, Tap, Tap. Tsunade's gavel went, harder than last time, "I'm warning you pretty boy, do that again and I'll rule on their side, no freaking caring for your testimony." She yelled.

"That was his own fault." The Uchiha defend himself.

"Last warning Uchiha, last warning."

"Fine, but for does who have an opinion, remember, that thanks to my Sharingan, I had memorized all your faces. This damn thing won't last forever."

Tsunade let yet another loud sigh, "Please respond to their claims."

"I'll not go back. My revenge is my reason for living, I'm an avenger. I'll not stop until the man is dead by my own hands."

"Please, mind the detail, viewer, blah blah blah." Tsunade said, sounding very tired of repeating the damn same thing over and over, as her chin rested on her interlace fingered, hands.

With an angry growl, Sasuke went to relate his story. "My clan, my whole family was killed by the person I used to call..." swallowed hard, long time he didn't say those words, that should mean love and caring, but now it was his definition of pain, and betrayal. "Nii-san. That bastard destroyed everything I ever had. I have sworn that I'll not stop until I make him pay for what he did."

The audience went wild again, crying, shouting, hysterical chaos was filling the courtroom.

_'Kill that son of a 3!7(4.'_ Some people said, and other one went, _'Poor baby.'_ and a few cried out _'Revenge won't bring them back, go back to the people who care about you.'_ and so on.

Sasuke, with all of his will power tried to keep his cool, as the blonde leader asked, "So, now explain why you left the village, you know viewers."

"In order for me to defeat that man, I need to be powerful, that place and its people were just holding me back. Orochimaru offered me what none of them could. The power to kill Itachi."

"What about the body exchange? Do you know that, that kind of exchanges is considered prostitution? And that is illegal. I can put you in jail for that." She asked with a smirk.

"WHAAAT, NO, NO NO, I'm not selling my body. I am most certain that I am not such thing." The raven haired boy yelled on top of his lungs, redder than his favorite food. Glaring with hate to the blond teen.

"No, don't send him to prison." Naruto said with a glimpse of guilt, "We want him to with us."

"Please Master, you know what they do to pretty boy in prison?" Sakura shook her head, trying to erase the horrific images of her mind. The only pink that could look good in Sasuke was her.

"Can both of you just shut the hell up, and don't talk stupidities. If I am ever going to jail, would be because I'll murder you. NOT FOR 'THAT'."

"Then, if you do not exert prostitution, what's the meaning of; I quote 'power in exchange of your body.'?" Tsunade smirked, she knew damn well, but fist, again, viewer, then a little payback, for putting an innocent through a traumatic genjutsu, she was sure that the man was going to sue.

"We had a deal, after I kill Itachi, I would let Orochimaru have possession of my body as a vessel, for his _'Living Corpse Reincarnation'_ Jutsu. He would transfer his soul to my body, he is going to be inside me, that's all... Shit, that sound really bad didn't it?"

Everyone in the room nodded.

"Whatever, I don't care. The only thing I care, is killing that bastard. And if that's the price for it, I'll pay for it."

"Sasuke, revenge is not a worthy reason to die. Die for the ones that are dead makes no sense. Live for the ones alive." Naruto yelled, teary eyes pointed his emotionally short speech.

"What would you know? I decide what's worth."

"What about us, are we not worth? What about all those moments we spend together? Those that meant nothing to you?" Naruto, kept speeching. "Come on Sasuke, come back home, with us..." He extended his hand.

Sasuke was taken aback and kept staring at the blonde's hand… Contemplating the idea perhaps?... And at that once more, the people in the crowd went bananas, to the point that one girl removed her jacket, revealing a homemade shirt saying _'NaruSasu 4ever.'_ For her own safety, and the show's wallet sake. The girl had to be escorted out of the set after she yelled _"Take his hand, go home, and do *censored* all night long. And at morning, put the syrup in his *Censured x 2* and *Censored x 3* until clean."_

After the AMBUs put the room back to tranquility, Tsunade stopped the boy's shivering of disgust, by slapping the images out their mind, and Sakura put under control her nose bleed, their resumed to the case.

"Aham," Tsunade cleared her throat, "How you replied to their proposition?"

Rubbing the pain away from his cheek, he said "Those moment meant the realization that if I stayed in there, I would never be able to beat Itachi." Then, Sasuke scoffed, "And you. You are not worth of sacrificing my goal."

"Bull Shit!" Everyone turn to see the crying pink haired girl. "If we worth nothing, then why you jump in front of Naruto when Hakku attacked, you could have died, you knew it, and you still did it. Same when you saved me multiple time during the chunin exams, a much more times during reason. You cared about us."

"That doesn't matter now, All that matter's to me is seeing 'him' dead."

"Sakura," Naruto whispered, "Looks, like we don't have another option."

She nodded, "I would like to do it once we were by ourselves, without the cameras."

"What?" Tsunade asked. "What's what you two talking about?" This was getting interesting.

"We know some information that could totally change Sasuke's mind about revenge." Naruto explained.

"Whatever you said it would not change my mind. Revenge is going to happen."

"Shut up emo boy," At that Sasuke got offended, and started to fit about it, not that the Hokage cared, "What kind of information it that?"

"Why Itachi ki-" Sakura was cut off.

_"Is time to go commercials."_ The friendly faceless voice called.

"What?" Tsunade screamed "I want to know."

_"Please stay tuned to find out what kind of intel, the defendants have."_ Faceless said, purposely ignoring the Godaime. _"Also there would be witnesses. All this and more when we come back."_

_"This show is brought you by: 'Icha Icha Paradise. The book that puts the Itch, Itch, in your pants."_

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Naruto, Humor, Parody