Harry Potter Choke Chains are NOT Fun!

Title: Choke Chains Are NOT Fun!

Summary: James, Remus and Peter are tired of the way Sirius acts in his dog-form. So, they enroll him in a canine obedience school.

A/n I don't know where this came from. I'll be honest with you. But, I enjoyed getting the idea and writing this. HAhahaHA!

"SIRIUS BLACK! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! AND YOUR LITTLE FRIENDS, TOO!" Lily Evans shrieked. She was with her friends Gen Moore, Celeste Helms, and Marci Morrow when a big, black dog came running out of nowhere and tackled Gen.

"Lily, he's just having fun!" James laughed.

"FUN! I don't know where you get your idea of fun, Mister Potter." Celeste groaned.

"He just gets over-excited?" Remus supplied.

"Remus, I've giving you until the count of three to GET HIM OFF ME!" Gen cried as Sirius began to lick her face. "EW! Sirius, what have you been eating?" she added. He barked and wagged his tail at her.

James looked at Peter, who was huddled behind Remus. "So, Wormtail, what do ya think? Canine classes?" he smirked.

"Canine classes." Peter said, Remus agreed.

"Get him fixed while your at it." Gen muttered, straightening her robes.

Sirius began to howl. No way was he getting fixed. Ever.

"Shut him up, please?" Marci asked, covering her ears.

James put a leash around Sirius's neck and he, Remus, and Peter took turns dragging him off to find a Muggle Canine School that would take him.

"How about this one?" James asked as they looked through the yellow pages of a Muggle phone book.

"Says they only want poodles." Remus interjected.

"This?" Peter pointed. James leaned closer to read the add:

"Madam Huskinsin's Dog Obedience School:

We take dogs through the toughest week of their doggy lives. We put them through hard labor, rigerous training and NO TREATS! Choke Chains manditory."

Together, Remus, Peter, and James glanced down at Sirius, who was scratching a flea, grinned, and said, "Perfect."

Madam Huskinsin was a small, strict lady of elegance, who, with one look at Sirius, said, "He is not suited for my school." Sirius barked and growled at her, causing her to jump.

"Please, ma'am? He jumps all over my girlfriend and her friends and they said if we don't train him, they're going to put him to sleep." James pleaded. Remus and Peter followed his lead and began to plead as well.

"He's our best friend!"

"He's not too bad, honest! He just needs a little training!"

"Find it in your withered old heart, ma'am?" James asked.

"Very well. What is his name?" she asked.

"Sirius."

She stared at Remus. "Sirius?" she asked blankly.

"My girlfriend's best friend named him." James supplied quickly.

"Because he's never serious." Remus added, Peter nodded.

"And, what kind of breed?" Madam Huskinsin asked.

"He's a pureblooded Azkisier." James grinned.

"Never heard of such."

"It's a new breed." Peter piped up.

"Interesting. Where's his choke chain?"

"Uh, we don't have one." Remus muttered.

"Yeah, Remus here uses one on his girlfriend." James laughed.

The Madam glanced at him. Remus waved lazilly back at her. "You three are the most... interesting... people I've ever met."

"Thank you!" James bowed.

She supplied a choke chain for Sirius and led them off to a classroom, with about seven or eight more dogs inside. Sirius imediately began to bark at the nearest.

"Choke him."

"What?" James asked blankly.

"With pleasure!" Remus grinned, yanking on the chain. Sirius whimpered and laid at Remus's feet. He knew Remus was not playing nice. And he did not like it.

"Remus!"

"I'm just following orders, James. It was YOUR idea to put him in school!"

"Does he know how to stay?" The Madam asked.

"Nope. He only listens to himself." Peter told her.

"So, he doesn't sit, beg, fetch...?" Madam Huskinsin asked.

"No. He jumps on people. And chases birds." Remus said.

"And drinks out of the loo." James added.

"And goes wee in the flower beds." Peter laughed.

"Interesting, Misters...?"

"Potter."

"Lupin."

"Pettigrew."

"You three, then."

As the four of them talked, Sirius had broken free of Remus's grip and was chasing a Terrier around the room, knocking over tables, sending people flying, taking up the rugs, and rushing out the door.

"Uh-oh."

James and Remus chased after Sirius, who had made his way out onto the grounds. Even Madam Huskinsin chased after him. The poor Terrier was frightened out of its mind and Sirius was just having fun. He chased the littler dog around the courtyard of the elegant school, and, accidentally, of course, knocked the Madam into a penny fountain.

"THAT'S IT! YOUR DOG IS A DISGRACE! MAY YOU FOUR NEVER DARKEN MY DOORWAY AGAIN! I WANT YOU OUT, BEFORE I CALL THE AUTHORITIES!" she spluttered. Sirius went over to her and licked her face. "GET OUT!" she roared.

"Sirius is never going to get trained." Remus sighed, unleashing Sirius and letting him wander a little ways ahead of them.

"He's a freespirit, Moony. And it was wrong of us to try and tame him." James sighed. Peter and Remus stared. "What?"

"You just said something not-Jamesish. I'm so proud of you!" Remus mock sobbed.

"I'm proud of me, too, Moony." James gushed as they rounded the corner leading to his house.

"So, did you get him trained?" Lily asked. Sirius, meanwhile, took it to himself to pounce on Celeste this time. "That's my answer then?"

"Yeah. He doesn't like choke chains."

"I wouldn't doubt it." Gen laughed, glad not to be on the recieving end of one of Sirius's tackles for a change.

"He does like Terriers, though." Peter grinned.

"Awww." Marci gushed.

"I think he's mad at me." Remus couldn't help but smile.

"Why?"

"I used the choke chain on him."

Sirius went over and licked Remus's hand. "Doesn't look too mad." Gen giggled. Sirius barked at her. "Bark, yourself." she smiled.

Celeste had managed to pick herself up off the ground. "Well, we decided while you guys were gone, that we didn't want him trained. We like him just the way he is."

"Yeah." Lily laughed, scratching Sirius behind the ear. "He's so sweet as a dog."

"Wish he'd stay that way."

"No, we like the human-form better." James grinned. "Easier to prank people that way."

The End.

A/n awww, doggy Sirius. So cute. lol.I had fun doing this, actually. Yay. Fun for me.


End file.

Harry Potter, Humor