Harry Potter Behind the computer Screen

DISCLAIMER:Bob owns Bob, Fred2 (me) owns Fred2 and Jeffrey, Tom Felton pretty much owns himself, and J.K. Rowling owns everybody else... Also i wanna apologize for the lines, they can't be helped, if you read my other stories, i explain why. And a warning, if you haven't read The Trials of Life, Love, and Mischief, by Elf Princess Bloom * giggles...thats me!* you won't understand this. It starts out with Fred and George as the narrarators----prolly didn't spell it right but too lazy to get a dictionary. Please don't be to harsh with reviews, I'm half asleep as i'm writing this. ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________________ FRED: Hello everyone, Fred and George here... __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE: Why does it always have to be Fred and George? I think we should call ourselves George and Fred. __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: No, it doesn't sound right! __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE: It doesn't sound right because everyone's used to saying Fred and George! __________________________________________________________________________ BOB: Ahem *looks meaningfully at Fred and George* __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE: George and Fred!!! __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: Oh alright! *looks meaningfully at George and Fred* __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE: Thank you! __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: *Elbows George out of the way* Like I was saying, we are here to show you exactly what goes on behind the computer screen and in the minds of Bob and Fred2 (the girl version) when writing these magnificent, imaginative, literary forms of genius *trails off*...who wrote this? __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: I did Fred. Is there a problem? *gives him a threatening look* __________________________________________________________________________ FRED:Feeling particularly full of yourself today, aren't you? __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: Yes, yes I am, now on with it. __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE: Anyway, I think now we'll have a flashback to when the first story was created, The Trials of Life, Love, and Mischief. *presses a switch that makes your mental picture go all wavy-like.* __________________________________________________________________________ Fred2 is staring avidly at the computer screen, deciding what to name her main character. *takes a drink out of the bottle of water in her hands and then looks at it.* __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: By George... __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE: What? __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: *looks at him* No, I wasn't talking to you! __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE: Oh...*looks down sadly* __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: *pats him on the head before continuing* By George, I think I've got it! __________________________________________________________________________ BOB: You've got what? __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: The name! *holds up the bottle of water* __________________________________________________________________________ BOB: We can't call our main character Evian! __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: But it's pretty! *scratches her head thoughtfully* We can always add a letter...how about Devian? __________________________________________________________________________ FRED:And my true love is born! __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE: *whines* Why can't I have a true love? __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: *kicks him in the shin* That comes later, remember? __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE:OW! Fine, lets just get to the good part then, shall we? *Grabs the remote control, but Fred stops him* __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: You can't just flash us to your shining moment, there's alot more to tell first! *George glares at him* __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: *Steals the remote control and fast forwards us to a few days later* __________________________________________________________________________ Fred2 has just realized her undying passion for Draco and decides to add him into the story, making things more complicated. __________________________________________________________________________ BOB: You can't have Draco! What about Fred? __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: Yeah, what about me? You know you like me better! *gives Fred2 a winning smile* By this time, Bob and Fred2 have decided that in the story, Fred2 is Devian, and Bob is Serenity. __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: Don't worry, I won't be with him forever! __________________________________________________________________________ *Tom Felton walks into the room, and everyone stares at him* __________________________________________________________________________ BOB: Ummm...whatcha doin here Tom? __________________________________________________________________________ TOM: This is where I come in, isn't it? I mean, you've mentioned Draco... __________________________________________________________________________ BOB: Yeah buddy...but you kind of forgot your costume. __________________________________________________________________________ TOM:*Looks into a mirror* Oh damn... be right back! __________________________________________________________________________ He dashes out of the room and returns five minutes later wearing quidditch robes and looking flushed and a little sweaty. __________________________________________________________________________ BOB:Tom? __________________________________________________________________________ TOM: What is it now? __________________________________________________________________________ BOB: The hair __________________________________________________________________________ TOM: Oops... *quickly slicks hair back* So where were we? __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: You and Devian are shagging *looks jealously at Draco* __________________________________________________________________________ DRACO: Yeah, I rock! I got the girl I got the girl *he says this in an annoying singsong voice* __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: *Punches Draco in the head* __________________________________________________________________________ DRACO: OWWW! We don't fight until later Weasley! Or have you forgotten? __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: How could I forget? It was one of the more valiant moments in my life...plus I won. __________________________________________________________________________ DRACO: You didn't win, I did! __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: *sighs impatiently* We never established who won, George and I had to break you two up, remember? __________________________________________________________________________ BOB: Hey, we forgot Serenity's break through performance in it all! __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: Well don't look at me! It's them who're getting off track! __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE: Okay, lets back it up a little then. So Devian and Malfoy are shagging... __________________________________________________________________________ DRACO: Go me! __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE:*ignoring Draco* and Fred is terribly jealous... __________________________________________________________________________ FRED:I was not! __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: Fred, you kissed me, the very first day Draco and I started going out __________________________________________________________________________ DRACO: What?!? __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: *Looks up at the cieling* Nothing darling...but Fred, you really were jealous, I mean you didn't talk to me for a week. __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: Yeah, but then we made up, in detention. __________________________________________________________________________ BOB: And that's were I come in! *looks extremely proud* __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: Yes, Serenity was created so Draco would have someone after Devian finally came to her senses and ran to Fred. So we establish from the very beginning that Serenity likes Draco. __________________________________________________________________________ BOB: Yeah, and you word it all in a way that makes me look like a bad guy! __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: Sorry, didn't mean that...but we fix it later, so no need to worry! __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: So then me and Devian get closer...and closer, and closer, and... __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: Get on with it! __________________________________________________________________________ DRACO: And then I come along from quidditch practice one day and find this stupid git kissing my woman! __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: Hey, come on, who didn't see it coming? __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE: *raises hand* I didn't! __________________________________________________________________________ DRACO: So then I run off to the lake, where Serenity is swimming...naked. __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: *to Bob* Haha! SpongeBob NudeyPants! __________________________________________________________________________ DRACO: And then I get naked... __________________________________________________________________________ *Bob and Fred2 start to drool* __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: So then the next day, Malfoy is all pissed off...bad stuff happens, and later I walk in on him and Serenity kissing. __________________________________________________________________________ DRACO: Hence, the fighting scene. __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: So, then I'm mad at Serenity, Serenity is mad at me, and I'm not speaking to either her or Draco. It stays that way for about a month __________________________________________________________________________ DRACO: But then we all make up, I get Serenity, Devian gets Weasley, and everyone is happy. __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE: Who do I get? __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: I told you already, that comes later! __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE: Can we go to that part now? __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: Fine! *pushes the button and we are again thrown forward in time* __________________________________________________________________________ Bob is staring off into space, while Fred2 is beating her head into the desk. __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: Need...*bang*...more...*bang*...drama... *bang*. *sits up suddenly* I could shag George! __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE: Woohoo! __________________________________________________________________________ BOB: But that would be wrong! It would really hurt Fred! __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: Damn skippy it would! __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: We could make it look like an accident. __________________________________________________________________________ BOB: In the words of Eminem...somewhat "how? you slipped, fell, landed on his..." __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: *cuts her off* Don't finish that, I don't want an NC-17 rating! __________________________________________________________________________ BOB: But you get my point? __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: Yes, but I could get him confused with Fred. __________________________________________________________________________ BOB: But he would still know that he wasn't Fred, and George wouldn't pretend, just to have a shag! __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE: *strokes invisible beard and smiles evily* Wouldn't I? __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: *looks at him* No George, you wouldn't. You can't be evil, because you have red hair and freckles. __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE: Good point. __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: *jumps up excitedly, startling everyone* I've got it! I could have a twin, and then George and her would like each other, then one day we'd accidentally get mixed up! But what to name her? __________________________________________________________________________ BOB:Hey, the whole beverage thing worked for Devian *picks up her can of Vanilla Coke* Vanilla...hmmm...no, thats not sensible...but...how about Nella? __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE: *jumps up and down excitedly* and my true love is born! __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: Yes, Nella...created for the sole purpose of Devian having a justifiable reason for shagging George. __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: Now lets fast forward to see how these two geniuses put this plan into action. __________________________________________________________________________ Bob and Fred2 are once again sitting at the computer. __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2:Bob! Ahhhhh! __________________________________________________________________________ BOB: What? __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: My hand is staring at me!!! __________________________________________________________________________ BOB: So make it stop. __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: I can't! Oh God, I think it's gonna bite me!!!!!! *struggles with hand for a bit, eventually falling on the floor* __________________________________________________________________________ BOB: Hey, lets go put a blob of peanut butter into the freezer and see what happens. __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2:Okay! __________________________________________________________________________ *They walk out into the kitchen, leaving the story untouched* __________________________________________________________________________ FRED AND GEORGE: *fumble with remote, looking embarassed* __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE: Damn, batteries are dead! __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: Go get new ones! __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE:Where's the nearest Wal-mart? __________________________________________________________________________ Draco points, and George leaves. __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: *Runs out to the kitchen, where he finds Bob and Fred2 with their heads stuck in the freezer, staring at the blob of peanut butter*Are you two trying to make asses out of us? You're supposed to be writing! __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: shhhh! I think Jeffrey is trying to tell us something __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: Who the bloody hell is Jeffrey? __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: *points to the peanut butter* __________________________________________________________________________ FRED *turns to Bob* She thinks that little spoonful of peanut butter is talking to her? __________________________________________________________________________ BOB: From now on, you are to refer to him as 'his holyness' __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: *curls up into a fetal position on the floor and squeezes his eyes shut tightly* __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE: *runs through the door, out of breath* Fred! I got the batteries! __________________________________________________________________________ FRED:(without opening his eyes) Actually George, I think I would like to go to bed now, we'll have to continue this tomorrow. __________________________________________________________________________ GEORGE: You're tired already? __________________________________________________________________________ FRED: No, but Fred2 has run out of plans for now, and needs more time to think. __________________________________________________________________________ *Everyone changes into their pj's and heads to bed.* __________________________________________________________________________ JEFFREY THE PEANUT BUTTER BLOB: *to readers* You shall all review this fanfic, or suffer the wrath of a thousand frozen teddy bears! Moohoohahahahaha __________________________________________________________________________ FRED2: Secretly takes out her list of 'things to do before I die' and crosses off 'raise an evil frozen blob of peanut butter'_____________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________________________ _THE END...FOR NOW!!! Well, feel like beating me with a stick yet? I bet half of you don't understand it and well...you're not really meant to. Thanks for suffering through it tho! 


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Harry Potter, Humor