Instant Star 1. Chapter 1

Title: Taking Chances

Author: Carenicole  
Disclaimer: I do not own the Instant Star universe or its occupants. I'm just borrowing them. I'm also borrowing the lyrics and music that is included. I'll try to post the real artist at the beginning of the chapter the song is featured in. (I do own Braden, Noah and Marissa...they're my own characters)  
Summary: This is definitely an AU fic. It doesn't really follow any of the seasons of the show. Basically, it's my take on what would have happened if Tommy had picked Angie over Boyz Attack. Jude still won Instant Star and Tommy was still her producer, but he had a different life outside of the studio. I've tried to stay true to the characters, but there might be some differences.

"Taking Chances"

Part 1

She found the two boys wandering around the frozen foods aisle by the ice cream. They were alone, the taller one wearing a baseball cap and biting his lip while he held onto the younger one's hand. They were both leaving handprints on the freezer doors.

Jude looked up and down the aisle, waiting for a frantic parent to rush forward and claim the boys. She didn't want to move on and finish her shopping until she was sure that they weren't just wandering around alone. So she stood there by the frozen pizzas, covertly watching them. 

They were adorable. The taller one looked to be about three or four years old, and the younger one was maybe two. They looked like brothers, both sporting dark hair and matching clothes.

Another minute passed and Jude stepped towards them. She couldn't leave them alone in the aisle. What if someone kidnapped them?

She walked closer, stopping by the ice cream freezer next to them.

"Hey you two," she said. "What are you doing here alone?" Her voice was friendly and warm.

They looked up at her and the older one pushed back the bill of his cap. "Hidin' fwom daddy," he told her.

"Really? Does your daddy know that?"

He shook his head. "We walked over here when dat lady was scweamin' at him."

As he spoke a frantic man darted past the end of the aisle. He skidded to a stop when he spotted the boys and ran toward them. "Brady! Noah!" He sounded out of breath, like he'd been running around the store searching for them.

He immediately bent down to the boys' level and hugged them even as he was scolding them and threatening time out when they got home.

"You must be the 'daddy' they were hiding from," Jude commented.

He looked up and her breath caught in her throat.

"Tommy?" she finally breathed.

"Jude Harrison."

She could only stare at him. She felt her cheeks grow warm as he stared back and she knew that she had to look away. She shook her head and cleared her throat. "I should have realized these two heartbreakers belonged to you, Quincy." Her tone was light even as her heart thumped wildly and her stomach filled with butterflies.

Tommy stood up, each of his hands held one of the squirming boys.

"Yeah…well, uh, thanks for…" he paused as if he didn't quite realize what he was thanking her for.

"I spotted them here by the ice cream about five minutes ago," she explained. "I was waiting for someone to race over here looking for them before I moved on. And here you are." Her words felt stilted and awkward.

"Well, thanks for that."

She nodded. There was another uncomfortable pause and for a moment she let her attention shift to the squirming antics of Brady, whom she'd barely recognized and …did he say Noah?

"I heard that you and Angie had another baby," she finally said. "This must be him."

"Yup…Noah. He's two and half. And you remember Brady?"

Jude smiled. "Of course. He was only the cutest baby ever." She looked down at Brady who gazed at her curiously. "I used to babysit for you when you were just a little baby," she told him.

"Weally?" he asked.

She nodded. "Yup. Really."

"I'm big now," he told her proudly.

"You certainly are. I think the last time I held you was more than three years ago." As she said the words, her throat tightened with unexpected emotion. Three years. She could hardly believe that much time had passed since she'd last seen Tommy or Brady. 

"So, when did you and Angie move back?" She asked, refocusing her attention on Tommy.

"Uh…it's just me and the boys. Angie and I aren't…well, we're not together anymore," he explained.

"Oh. I…uhm…I'm sorry…I didn't mean…" She wanted to hit herself for being so stupid. And then she wanted to murder her sister. Sadie and Kwest were still friends with Tommy. They probably knew and if so they could have passed on that information so as to keep Jude from embarrassing situations like this.

"I should go," she said abruptly taking a step back, putting some distance between her and Tommy. "I need to finish my shopping."

"Uh, yeah…sure. Sorry about this…" he started to say. 

She shook her head. "No…it was no problem. I'm just glad you found them. Uh…maybe see you around, Quincy." She knelt down and looked at the boys. "Nice to meet you two," she shook each of their hands earning a grin from Brady and a shy smile from Noah. She straightened up and with a nod, turned and left the aisle. 

She went around the corner as quickly as possible, looking for a hiding place. She ended up at the end of the aisle, slumped with her back pressed against an old freezer full of corndogs. Of all the groceries stores…he had to show up at this one. Groaning, she caught a glimpse of herself in the reflection of the glass. Great. She looked like a complete loser in her ragged sweatshirt and holey jeans. And her hair…a rats nest. 

She took a deep breath and straightened up. She was being stupid. It was one ridiculous run in after three years of hearing nothing from him. She needed to remember that she'd gotten over Tom Quincy a long time ago.

Tommy could barely focus the rest of the time they were in the grocery store. He bribed the boys with ice cream and strapped them into the shopping cart so they couldn't escape from him again. It wouldn't have happened to begin with if some lady hadn't cornered him when they walked in. She was a Boyz Attack fan and that was apparently something he'd never be able to escape. So he'd agreed to sign an autograph only to look down and realize that Brady and Noah were gone.

He checked out in a daze, not even caring when Brady threw a large bag of candy in with the rest of the groceries. He was still thinking about Jude Harrison.

That had certainly been a shock, running into her like that. He'd been so flustered, first by losing the boys and then by seeing her that he'd barely been able to form a coherent sentence. In fact, he hadn't really said much of anything. His mind had been too busy processing the sight of her, trying to reconcile the woman that stood before him with the Jude he had known. She was a lot thinner than he remembered, the features of her face had sharpened with maturity and her hair…not only was she blonde, but she'd cut it short. It suited her. She'd always been beautiful, but it was even more obvious now.

All of the physical changes made him wonder just what else had changed in Jude's life. It was disconcerting to realize that he used to know everything about her, used to see her everyday, talk to her everyday and know he knew nothing. He couldn't blame her for taking off on him earlier in the frozen foods aisle. He would have done the same thing if he was her. 

Groceries loaded up, Tommy strapped the boys into their car seats and headed home. He needed to get things settled at the house, because the new nanny was starting the next day and he was headed back to G-Major to reestablish his career as an award-winning producer. Maybe he'd run into Jude and they could talk and he could explain what had happened three years ago. It was a discussion that was long overdue.

"Daddy," Brady's voice from the back seat of the Escalade interrupted Tommy's thoughts.

"Yeah, buddy?"

"I like Jude. She's nice," he said matter-of-factly.

Tommy smiled. "Yeah, she is."

"Can she come play wif us some time?" 

"Yeah, jood…" Noah interjected.

"I don't know Brades…maybe."

Just as quickly as the subject was brought up, Braden forgot about it and engaged Noah in one of the silly games he liked to play in the car.

Tommy chuckled to himself as he listened to them interact. If there was one thing he was proud of from the last three years, it was his sons. After he and Angie had separated he'd become their sole parent and if the way the boys were turning out was any indication, he was doing okay. 

He still had regrets, but he knew that he was a good dad and that he'd done the best thing for the boys by leaving Angie. She'd gotten too caught up in the music industry lifestyle, something Tommy had tried to put behind him when he'd chosen a life with Angie over being in Boyz Attack. He hadn't realized that a life with him wasn't as appealing to her when faced with normalcy. She had wanted the glitz and the glamour, not the picket fence and the 2.5 kids. 

The only things he could thank her for was his children; other than that…she'd been a huge mistake. One he hoped would stay away from the life he was trying to rebuild.

"I can't talk now. I'm busy," Jude said into her cell phone. She had it propped up between her ear and her shoulder while she held a carton of Chinese food in her hands.

"Watching Bret Michaels, 'Rock of Love' on VH1 does not constitute as 'busy', Jude," her sister informed her from the other end of the phone.

Jude sucked a lo mien noodle into her mouth before responding defensively. "Bret Michael's is a Rock God and this show is disgustingly awesome. It's the final episode where he picks which skank he's going to make his 'Rock of Love'."

She could practically hear Sadie rolling her eyes.

"Jude, you really scare me sometimes."

"So you've said. Many times." She took another bite of her lo mien. "If this is going to be another lecture on how boring you think I am, I'm going to hang up. Bret's about to get emotional and I didn't set my TiVo."

"Don't worry, sis. No lecture, although you seriously need to get a life."

"Sadie." Jude's tone indicated that the conversation would be ending if her sister didn't get to the point.

"Fine. I'm calling because I need a favor," she finally said.

Jude didn't say anything and waited for Sadie to continue.

"Are you even listening to me?" Now Sadie sounded irritated.

It was Jude's turn to roll her eyes. She LOVED talking to Sadie sometimes. "Yes. I'm just waiting to hear what this favor is before I commit to anything."

"Can't you just say yes and get the details later?" Sadie asked, only half-joking.

"Hah! No. I know you too well, sister-mine. The last time I said yes without asking first, I had to dog sit your friend Karen's stupid dog."

"It wasn't stupid. It had a traumatic brain injury." Sadie jumped to the dog's defense and Jude almost aspirated a noodle when she started laughing.

"Be that way, then," Sadie was back to be irritated. "I'll call someone else."

Jude recovered from her near choking experience by coughing and quickly offered her offended sister an apology. "I'm sorry. Now tell me what this favor entails."

"Okay, well, you remember Tom Quincy, right?"

She couldn't believe Sadie even had to ask if she remembered him. It had only been three years, even if those three years had seemed like a lot longer. She hadn't told Sadie that she'd run into Tom and his sons at the grocery store. It had been so strange, especially with those boys, who could have been mirror images of Tommy when he was young. And Tommy, well…he was even better looking than she'd remembered if that was at all possible.

Seeing him in the store had totally knocked her for a loop. She hadn't been able to sleep that night. She could only think about the last night she'd seen him, right before he and Angie had left Toronto.

She'd been babysitting Brady. Tommy had finally gotten home a little after midnight after a late studio session. He'd looked exhausted and angry. Jude had tried to make herself scarce because Brady had long since gone to sleep, but Tommy had just seemed like he needed a friend and so she'd asked if he was okay, something that she'd told herself not to do anymore. She'd been spending too much time with him as it was and her feelings for him had moved beyond the teenage crush she'd developed when she first won Instant Star. But it was because of those feelings and because he had been sitting there, slumped on the leather sofa, looking so defeated, that she stayed.

As soon as she'd asked him what was wrong he had opened his mouth and spilled his soul. He told her about all of his job frustrations and how he'd barely had any time to even think. Then he'd admitted that he thought Angie was cheating on him, that he didn't even know where she was half the time and that the worst part was that he couldn't bring himself to care.

Jude had listened intently, offering her support. She had touched his hand in a gesture of comfort and then their foreheads had been touching and then…their lips.

That kiss still haunted her. Sometimes she could even still feel his mouth pressed against hers, feel the way his tongue had slid languorously against hers until their need had grown and they'd been frantically pulling at clothes. 

She always wondered how far things might have gone if Braden hadn't woken up and started crying.

It had definitely broken the moment. Tommy jumped up and practically ran from her. His face had been a cross between confusion and panic, an 'Oh my god, what did I just do?' look if she'd ever seen one.

For a moment she'd only been able to sit there, her Ramones t-shirt clutched to her chest while she continued to take unsteady breaths. Then she'd run away, not wanting to face him or what had happened between them.

Two days later she had worked up the courage to return to G-Major and talk with Tommy. He was her producer after all, and she'd wanted to clear the air. But Tommy wasn't there and Kwest had been the one to tell her that he'd quit and left with Angie and Brady and that he probably wouldn't be back.

She'd been pretty sure she'd never see Tom Quincy again. Obviously that was wrong.

The thing that pissed her off the most was that his smile still made her heart flip-flop. The effect was even more pronounced when his sons turned their baby blue's on her and offered almost identical grins.

Jude shook the image of the Quincy men's smiling faces from her mind and tried to focus on her sister's voice in her ear.

"Sorry, Sadie. Could you repeat that?"

Sadie sighed loudly. "I said Tommy's working with Kwest again at G-Major. Tomorrow night they're having a release party for Karma's new album and he needs a babysitter."

Jude wasn't sure how she wanted to respond. On one hand she kind of wanted to see Tommy and his kids again. She was curious, if nothing else, thinking that maybe she'd get some answers to why he'd walked away. And it would be fun, especially since her alternative plans included a pint of Ben and Jerry's and Friends reruns. Of course, there was also the part of her that wasn't sure if she was up for another awkward Tommy encounter.

"Please, Jude?" Sadie wheedled.

"Who's watching your munchkin? Can't that person watch Tommy's boys?"

"Kwest's parents are taking Marissa overnight so that Kwest and I can have some alone time after the party. We're taking her up to their farm tomorrow morning. It's like a two hour drive, so, no. They can't watch Braden and Noah too."

Jude bit her lip, worrying it momentarily before blurting out, "Okay, I'll do it."

"Yes! Thank you, Jude. I'll let Tommy know. Someone will call you with his address info tomorrow."

"Fine." Jude glanced at the TV. "Damn, Sadie. I've got to go now. Bret just made the stripper chick mad and I'm missing it."

Sadie laughed. "Okay, whatever. Thanks again and don't get too wild." She hung up then and Jude closed her phone before tossing it carelessly onto the couch. If the phone broke, she'd miss the message with Tommy's address and therefore be unable to babysit.

She groaned and sank into the couch cushions. Okay, so her conscience would never let her back out now that she'd agreed, but she sure wished she'd taken a little bit more time to think it over before committing. 

She had a feeling that this was all about to become a complication that her life didn't need.

Tommy had just put the boys to bed when his cell phone started to ring. The number wasn't one he recognized but he answered it and was greeted by Sadie's cheerful voice.

"Sorry to bother you, Tom, but I found you a babysitter for tomorrow night," she informed him.

"Wow…uhm, thanks. I thought I was going to have to miss it." Secretly he was a little disappointed that Sadie had tracked someone down. He'd been okay with having to bail on the party. "So, who is it? Do you have their info?" It wasn't that he didn't trust Sadie's judgment, but he wanted to know a little bit more about the person with whom he was going to entrust his children's care.

"Oh. It's Jude. She said she didn't have anything else going on."

Tommy's brow furrowed in confusion. "She's not going to the party? I thought it was mandatory for all G-Major artists and employees."

His words were met with silence.

"Sadie?"

She cleared her throat. "Sorry. It's just that I'm surprised that Kwest didn't already tell you."

"Tell me what?" He had a feeling that he wasn't going to like what she was about to tell him and so he made his way to the closest chair to sit down.

"Darius released Jude from her contract almost three years ago," she told him.

"What?" His jaw dropped and he stood up, unable to believe what he was hearing.

"It was after you left. You know her first album's sales weren't the greatest and then she got kind of discourage and when our mom was diagnosed with cancer, Jude asked Darius to cut her loose. She wanted to focus on helping Mom. D understood."

"So she just quit? She gave up?" Tommy sat back down; his shoulders slumped as he absorbed the information. Jude was one of the most amazing musicians he'd ever had the pleasure to work with and now he was finding out that she'd given it all up.

He had wondered why her second album was never released, but with everything else that was going on, there hadn't been time to check into it.

He took a deep breath to steady himself. "So what's she doing now?"

"After Mom died, Jude decided to go back to school. She's going to University to get her teaching degree. She wants to mold young musicians."

He almost cracked a smile at that, picturing Jude in a classroom, surrounded by kids, teaching them to love music as much as she did.

"What else?"

"Well, she's a waitress at 'The Chain' on the weekends. And…even though she doesn't want anyone to know, she's still writing music under a pen name. I think she even wrote a few songs for Karma's new album."

Tommy didn't hear the rest of Sadie's words; he was already out of his chair, heading towards his music room.

All of the paperwork for Karma's album was on his desk there. He'd grabbed it from work earlier to finalize everything. Along with the paperwork was an envelope with a copy of the packaged CD.

"I gotta go, Sadie," he said quickly, interrupting whatever she was saying. "Tell Jude to be here by 6:30 tomorrow night. Kwest has the address." He closed the phone and exchanged it for the CD. He didn't even take a moment to admire the packaging; he just ripped at the plastic and opened the jewel case to pull out the insert. All of Karma's songs were listed out, including the names of the song writers.

He scanned the insert, trying to figure out which songs belonged to Jude. It was hard to imagine that she'd written anything for Karma. Jude was an edgy, punk-princess and Karma was an R & B diva.

His eyes caught on the name J.D. Harris and paused. It had to be her.

Keeping the volume low, he popped Karma's disc into the CD player and selected the first song written by J.D. Harris. He listened carefully, attuned to anything, any nuance in the lyrics or melody that might confirm that Jude had penned it.

Three minutes, forty-six seconds came and went. Tommy skipped to the next rack. He couldn't tell. If Jude had written the songs there was nothing particularly distinctive to give it away. They all sounded like they belonged to Karma.

He was vaguely disappointed, more in himself than with the music or Jude. Three years ago he would have been able to tell instantly if a song belonged to Jude. He'd been her producer and co-writer. They'd spent a lot of time together. He'd considered her one of his closest friends. At that was the case until he'd crossed the line.

Tommy ran his fingers through his hair, trying to dispel the memory of that night with Jude. She'd barely been eighteen and he'd taken advantage of her innocence when he kissed her. He still felt guilty over the whole thing.

At the time he was going through a rough patch at work, arguing with Darius over how much time he was spending in the studio, not to mention that the marriage he'd thought- in his youthful enthusiasm- would last forever was on the rocks. Jude had been the only bright spot in his life, aside from Braden. He was able to talk to her about anything, to open up and confide in her. She'd always been so understanding and thoughtful, mature beyond her years. She loved Braden and volunteered to babysit when he worked late and Angie was out partying, which usually ended up with he and Jude up talking until late in the night. 

Even now he had to admit that the connection he'd felt with Jude was special. He'd tried very hard to keep the attraction he felt for his underage protégé at bay. He already had one failed marriage under his belt, he didn't need to ruin another because of feelings he wasn't even sure he understood. He told himself that it didn't mean anything, and that mantra worked until that one particular night. If not for Braden's impeccable timing, or not so impeccable timing, things might have turned out very differently. He was pretty sure they wouldn't have stopped with a kiss.

He shook his head. None of that really mattered now. The interruption had happened and he'd made a choice to take another producing job in the U.S. He'd told Angie that it would be a fresh start for them all. 

He'd been wrong.

Now he was raising two kids by himself. It was hard, but he knew that given the chance he wouldn't change a single thing.

Tommy listened to Karma's songs again. It took him a moment but he finally realized why nothing was resonating with him. Jude's song writing had always been great, but what made the songs even better was her voice; the power and emotions that helped feed the lyrics and make them stick to a person's soul.

He turned the CD off and sat in silence for a moment. Sadie had implied that Jude had been writing songs for a variety of other artists, not just Karma. That meant there were other albums out there with songs by J.D. Harris. An idea quickly formed and he went over to his computer to log onto the internet. He had a little bit of research to do.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

"Kyle the intern told me to inform you that he was able to find sheet music for all but one of J.D. Harris' songs. He put them all on your desk."

Tommy looked up from the soundboard. He had the headphones positioned over one ear while he listened to the beats that he'd come up with for his new artist's first track. "Thanks." He said as Kwest came into the room and pulled up the chair next to him.

"So, what's so interesting about this J.D. Harris' songs?" Kwest asked as he made himself comfortable.

Tommy glanced over at his friend. He looked laid back and casual, like he was just making conversation. Tommy decided to play along and went back to the adjustments he was making on the track. "Nothing really. I was listening to Karma's disc so I could prepare for any questions tonight and a couple of tracks caught my attention. They were written by this J.D. person and I wanted to see what her other stuff was like. I'd like to bring her in and see if she'd be willing to work with our new Instant Star."

"Her?"

Tommy froze. "Uh, yea, I guess I just assumed it was a woman because of the songs. Could be a guy though," he covered carefully. He cautioned a glance at Kwest and saw him shaking his head.

"You're a stupid-ass liar, T. We both know who J.D. Harris really is. So what's the real reason?"

Tommy sighed, defeated and leaned back in his chair. "Okay, so Sadie told me what happened with Jude and when she said she was still writing for other artists, I had to hear the songs for myself. But after downloading all of the songs she's written off itunes, I realized that seeing the lyrics might be more…insightful than hearing other artist's interpretation of Jude's words."

"You're barking up the wrong tree. You aren't going to find any answers in those songs. What you should do is talk to Jude," Kwest suggested.

"I know you're right, it's just that it's killing me that all of her talent is going to waste."

Kwest shook his head again. "Don't think about it like that. Think about all of those kids she's going to teach to love music. She's already doing a great job. Sadie and I even went to a program she helped with when she was student teaching last semester. The teacher bragged about Jude in front of the whole audience. She turned as cherry red as her hair used to be, but we could tell that she loves it. That's what's important."

Tommy almost chuckled out loud at the picture Kwest painted. "So teaching's her dream now, I can handle that. But why write all of that music for other artist's then? That I don't get," he mused out loud.

Kwest took a deep breath and then leaned forward towards Tom. "Look," he started, his voice low. "You didn't hear this from me, but when Sadie and Jude's mom got sick they had some money problems. Victoria couldn't work anymore and Stuart was long gone by then and so Sadie was working full time to pay their house bills, but it wasn't enough to pay for all of the treatment and medication Vic needed. Jude had already terminated her contract but she went to D to ask for help. She offered to renegotiate her contract, or even to work as a producer, but Darius told her he wasn't interested. So that's when she got the job waitressing at 'The Chain'. A few weeks after she started there Portia showed up and casually mentioned that Darius was looking for some fresh material, new songs for some of his artists. He was offering a thousand dollars a song if they used it." Kwest chuckled at the memory. "You should have been here man, because the next day Jude showed up, marched into Darius' office and tossed a beat up notebook onto his desk and said 'Take your pick and write me a check.'"

"What did D do?"

Kwest smiled. "He made her cut rough demos of the songs. Then he bought five of them from her. Now she just shows up about once a month when there's free studio time. She records any new stuff she's managed to write. The demos go to D, he picks and she gets paid." Kwest paused. "He never buys less than three and even then, most of them never get put on anyone's album. The ones that do, honestly, they aren't that special. Don't get me wrong, they're good songs, but they just lack the uniqueness that Jude radiates. I don't know what he's done with those songs, but I sort of think it's his way of making sure she's taken care of. He always did have a soft spot for her, ya know?"

Tommy sat there, unsure of what to say. Part of him felt guilty. He'd been so worried about himself back then, so selfish. Jude had really needed a friend, she could have used his support and encouragement but he'd been long gone.

"Do you think Darius would let me listen to all of those demos she records?"

Kwest could only shrug. "I have no idea. Guess you'll have to ask to find out."

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Jude nervously smoothed down her hair and readjusted her t-shirt. Half way to Tommy's house she'd regretted choosing the worn, vintage Clash shirt but hadn't had time to turn around and change. She told herself that it didn't matter; she was there to watch a four year old and a two and a half year old, not impress anyone, certainly not Tommy.

She reached out to ring the doorbell again. As she did so, the door clicked open and a small slit appeared and got larger until a small dark head peaked out and grinned.

Jude smiled and gave a little wave.

"Ima answer it," a little voice hollered. It had to be Braden because Noah was still standing there grinning at her like the little flirt that he was.

The door opened wider and Braden appeared, offering a toothy smile.

"Jude!" his little voice squealed.

"Hi guys!" She started to step inside and they immediately jumped onto her. Noah jumped first, startling her, but she managed to catch him before he fell. Braden grabbed at her free hand as she hoisted Noah onto her hip. He immediately wrapped his arms around her and rested his head contentedly on her shoulder, causing her heart to sputter with immediate affection.

"Where's your dad?" she asked Braden.

She didn't need to wait for his answer. As Braden pulled her more fully into the house, she could hear Tommy speaking loudly in French as if he were arguing with someone. A female voice responded and Jude paused for a moment, not wanting to interrupt if it was personal.

But Braden was persistent and he tugged at her arm until she followed him into the living room. The dining room was in full view from there and she could see where Tommy stood, hands on his hips looking flustered while a woman in her late fifties clucked at him. Her rapid French was punctuated by a foot stomp and then she stormed off, leaving Tommy standing there looking frustrated.

"Dad-ee," Braden yelled. "Jude's here."

At the little boy's announcement Tommy's head turned in their direction, a startled look on his face.

He came into the living room as Jude set Noah down on the floor. "I didn't hear the doorbell," he told her.

"The boys answered it and uh…dragged me inside."

Tommy winced at her words. "Well, so much for that talk we had about letting strangers in the house." He turned to Braden. "Dude, what did daddy tell you about answering the door?"

"Dat only daddy or a grwown up should do it," he answered.

"That's right. So why didn't you listen?"

"Cuz you said dat Jude was comin" Braden looked confused like he didn't understand what he'd done. Tommy ruffled his hair.

"We'll talk later. Why don't you take Noah to the toy room and get out your motorcycle men to show Jude."

Braden excitedly agreed and sped off with Noah ambling behind him.

A small giggle escaped Jude's lips as she watched them.

Tommy looked at her with an arched eyebrow and a rueful smile.

"They're almost too cute to punish," she observed.

He rolled his eyes. "Tell me about it. Half the time I don't know whether to laugh or spank them." He paused and emitted a deep sigh. "You sure you want to watch them? They can be kind of a handful."

Jude shrugged. "I toured with Speiderman Mind Explosion. I think I've got experience dealing with ornery children."

He laughed out loud at that and she noticed his tension from earlier had started to ease from his features.

"Anything special I should know about before you go?" she asked. She needed to focus on the job she'd come to do, not on how tired Tommy looked or how his blue dress shirt complimented his eyes. He had the whole disheveled bad boy thing going for him. She would have thought seeing him in 'dad' mode would have changed her view of him but he was completely appealing, maybe even more so than she remembered and she was mentally berating herself for even noticing.

"Mrs. Du Tois, the woman that I was just arguing with, is the boys' nanny. She was supposed to feed them dinner, but apparently that wasn't included in the contract I signed, along with a whole list of other things that she kindly informed me was included in the fine print."

Jude gave him a sympathetic smile. "Don't worry. I can feed them. What time do they go to bed?"

"Eight thirty. Brady likes to be read to and Noah likes to sit in your lap until he falls asleep. They're usually pretty good about bedtime if I can stick to their routine," he explained.

"You seem worried. Don't be. You should just…go…to your party and have a good time," she urged.

Tommy seemed to be studying her, his hands in his pants pockets. "You know, you should be going to this party too."

Jude shook her head. "Uh…no. I'm done with all G-Major functions."

He gave a curt nod and for second she thought he might say something else, but he didn't and she was relieved that he didn't press her further.

Instead he gestured towards the door. "I'm gonna…"

"Yeah, sure. Have a good time." Inwardly she cringed at how lame she sounded. Why couldn't she just relax and be herself around him. Why did interacting with him seem so strange?

Her attention wandered as he turned to leave the room. She hadn't let herself notice earlier, but he looked really good in his black suit. Really good. So good that she couldn't seem to look away until he suddenly stopped and turned around.

Her face flushed and she really hoped that he hadn't just caught her checking out his ass.

He looked at her curiously and she offered him a half-smile.

"If you need to get a hold of me, my cell number is on the fridge."

She managed to nod. She felt like her heart was pounding in her throat. She needed him to leave so she could regain her equilibrium.

When he disappeared from the room she shook her head, disgusted with herself. She was beyond pathetic. Maybe Sadie was right…she needed to get a life.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

The party was a typical G-Major bash; crowded, free flowing alcohol and loud music. Karma, the artist of the hour, was in her element, sucking up as much attention as possible. Tommy was surprised to see Vincent Speiderman close by her side. Apparently they were a pretty hot couple, particularly so now that Speid was working on his solo album.

It was Speid who noticed Tommy first. He detached himself from Karma and headed Tommy's way.

"Little Tommy Q," Speid held out his hand in greeting. "Long time, no see, man."

Tommy grimaced at the use of his old nickname. "Nice to see you too, Vincent."

He smirked when Speid winced at his hated first name.

"Heard you were back producing." Speid leaned up against the bar facing the crowd, mimicking Tommy's pose.

"Yep." Tom kept looking around, hoping to spot Kwest and Sadie. He took a drink of his scotch.

"So, you heard about Jude?"

Tommy nodded, but didn't say anything else. He just kept his eyes glued to the rest of the partygoers while Speid continued to talk.

"Too bad, too. The stuff we helped lay down for her second album was good. Even the stuff after you left."

That caught Tommy's attention. "Kwest said the second album didn't get finished."

Speid straightened, unable to hold his pose against the bar, and adjusted his ill-fitting suit, loosening the tie. "It didn't. It still needed a couple of song. D took it and locked it up when Jude quit. He's got the music files archived though. I burned a bootleg of it. I even keep it in my car."

"Really?" Tom was about to ask for a copy of the bootleg when he saw Sadie and Kwest across the room. He watched as the couple caught sight of him and made their way over to his side of the room. They were crossing the main floor when Sadie stopped to glare at a familiar looking young man. Kwest quickly pulled her away.

"Who's that guy Sadie looks ready to murder?" Tommy asked, curiosity overwhelming him.

Speid's response was a chuckle. "You_have_ been away awhile. That guy is Jamie Andrews or 'James' as he tells everyone to call him now. Darius hired him last year as an A and R rep."

A lot of things were taking Tommy by surprise this week. First Jude, then all of the changes at G-Major and now Jude's dorky best friend was no longer quite so…dorky. "So what's Sadie's problem with him? I thought he was Jude's 'b.f.f'." He resisted the urge to air quote that last part, but Speid picked up on the tone.

"Yeah, well, after Jude's mom got sick Jamie was really there for her, especially when she ended her music contract. They actually started dating and he really helped her through things. But uh…Sadie sort of caught him with another girl at one of these G-Major bashes. She was the new artist he'd just signed. So the Harrison women pretty much hate his guts," Speid explained.

Tommy's fist involuntarily tightened and his jaw clenched. He was sorely tempted to walk over and punch Andrews in the face. He knew there was a reason he'd never liked the guy; there had always been something about him that he'd never quite trusted.

"Whoa, T. What's got you all riled?" Kwest asked as he and Sadie finally made it over the bar.

Tommy was too busy glaring in Jamie's direction to answer, so Speid jumped in. "I, uh, sort of filled him in on the 'We hate Jamie' club."

Kwest winced and Sadie jerked her arm away from her husband's hold to cross her arms huffily in front of her.

"I think I have a right to hate him," she fumed.

"Stupid, geek-faced, prick," Tommy muttered.

Sadie's scowl broke into a smile. "Aw, You want to punch the shit out of him for Jude, don't you, Quincy? That's so sweet. Can I watch?"

Kwest quickly interceded, always the voice of reason. "No one is going to punch anyone. It was two years ago and we're all adults. Jude's let it go and we should too."

Sadie's scowl returned. "She's hardly let it go. She hasn't dated anyone since then. All she does is sit home alone at night. It depresses the hell out of me to even think about it."

"She's not dating anyone?" Tommy asked the question and inwardly winced at how interested he sounded in the answer.

"She's focused on school," Kwest offered. "Nothing wrong with that," he defended his sister-in-law.

Sadie rolled her eyes. "She has no life. Last night when I called her to baby-sit for Tom she was watching 'Rock of Love'. Apparently Bret Michael's is 'disgustingly awesome'."

Kwest shook his head. "You're being too hard on her. She gave up her music career to take care of your mom. It took its toll."

Sadie's eyes flashed. "I took care of mom, too. It wasn't just Jude who made sacrifices. I don't know why you can't remember that. It's been two years, everyone else has had to move on, and Jude needs to do that too." Her voice broke as she spoke. Kwest started to apologize but she held up her hand to stop him and walked away.

Kwest gave Tommy an apologetic look and quickly went after his distraught wife, which left Tom alone with Speid again.

"Sadie's gotten pretty protective of Jude."

"I noticed." Tom tossed back the rest of his scotch and turned to order another.

"I think Jude will be fine…eventually. It's just that she lost a lot of people in her life in a short amount of time. First you, then her mom and then Jamie. It can be hard to let people in after that."

Tommy wasn't sure what caught him off guard more, Speid's insightfulness or the fact that he'd been included in the list of people she'd lost. He stopped mid-drink at the words. "What do you mean me?"

Speid shrugged. "You were like her best friend back then. She talked about you all the time. She was…uh…pretty sad after you left. And then the stuff with her mom happened and she got thrown into that…"

Tom stood there silently, unsure how to respond. He was too busy mentally berating himself. He should have at least told her goodbye. They'd been too good of friends for him to just abandon her without explaining. But he had. He'd always been good at walking away without a backwards glance.

Karma started to gesture for Speid and the young man eagerly took off to tend to his girlfriend, leaving Tommy completely alone. He didn't attempt to mingle.. He was still processing everything he'd just learned.

He was on his third drink when someone approached him. He glanced at the figure and his whole body instinctively tightened with tension.

"Portia," he acknowledged with a curt nod in her direction.

"Tom Quincy, in the flesh," she marveled, leaning close to him.

He stepped away. "How are things?" he asked as politely as he could muster.

Portia seemed to sense his discomfort and he was relieved when she straightened and turned away from him towards the bar. She seemed nervous then and started absently picking at her fingers as she leaned on the bar's surface. "Good. Things are…"

"…good?" he filled in for her.

She gave him a half-hearted smile and nodded.

They both stood there, neither one speaking.

"Did you need something?" Tommy finally asked, unable to stand the uncomfortable silence.

"I just wanted to say Hello and tell you that I was sorry to hear about you and Angie."

Tommy snorted. "Why do I find that hard to believe?"

"Tommy, I don't have any hard feelings…" she started.

He held up his hand to stop her from saying anymore. "Look. I don't really care anymore. I did a really shitty thing to you when we were married. And I'm sorry about that. I'm not going to even use the 'I was only 18' excuse. I was a dick. I know that. I also know that there were a lot of things that went down with you and Angie while we were all here three years ago. So I don't want to hear any platitudes about the demise of my second marriage. Not from you, not when what you're really thinking is that I got what I deserved."

"Okay, so maybe back then I would have thought you deserved it, but not now. I know how much you loved her…"

Tom shook his head. "This conversation is done," he said tiredly. "Let's just call a truce. It's the past. I want to move on."

She nodded and for a second it looked like she wanted to say something more but she thought better of it. Then the bartender was there in front of her and Tommy took the opportunity to leave.

He spent the next hour mingling with the bigwigs and G-Major's various artists, some of whom he already knew and had worked with. He made pointless conversation, reminiscing with some and talking about G-Major's future with others. The whole time his mind kept wandering to Jude and the boys, curious about how they'd spent their evening, sure that it had been more fun than his.

He glanced at his watch and noted that it was close to eleven. The party was going strong, or realistically just starting. But he had no desire to stay. He missed his kids and sticking around to hang out with drunken rockers was nothing compared to reading them a bedtime story.

Making a decision, Tommy quickly found Darius and made his excuses.

The house was a twenty -minute drive from G-Major, located in the suburbs, far enough away from the hustle and bustle to give the illusion of normalcy. When he'd first bid on it, he'd immediately had a flash of E! News doing some 'Where are they now?' show featuring Tommy, with their camera crews staked outside waiting to catch a glimpse of his family. Now it was just home and he figured the camera crews would get bored with the life he'd built for himself. He'd gone from bad to boring and he was completely okay with it.

The drive went fairly quickly and soon he was pulling in the circular driveway behind Jude's car. He'd been relieved to see earlier that she still had the mustang. His eyes didn't stay focused on her car, though. He was too busy wondering why all of the lights in his house seemed to be on. For a split second he thought something might be wrong, but he quickly pushed the panic aside. Realistically the boys were probably causing a riot.

This was confirmed when he got inside the front door and a wet, bubble splattered, naked four year old streaked past him, giggling and squealing.

"Braden Michael Quincy! Get back here!" Jude's voice came from the hallway by the bathroom and a second later she appeared. Tommy had to bite down on the inside of his cheek when he saw her.

Her short blonde hair was wet and a large clump of bubbles stuck to her forehead. She was moving quickly with Noah wrapped in a towel in her arms. His hair was damp too and he had his head on Jude's shoulder, his little arms wrapped around her neck.

She rushed past Tommy, barely glancing in his direction as she went after Brady. She did a double take and paused, her eyes wide as she looked at him standing in the doorway. Her cheeks flushed a bright red.

"Uhm…there was…a peanut butter incident," she stuttered. "And then a bath incident and …" she gestured after Brady with her free hand.

"I'll grab him," Tommy offered through his barely suppressed amusement.

He used the trail of water and bubbles to track his naked son down in the toy room where he snagged him and tickled Brady's sides as he carried him back to the bathroom.

Jude was already there. She'd dried Noah off and was attempting to put on his pajamas. She put the top on first, leaving his bottom half uncovered.

Tommy watched in horror as Noah stood there, rubbing his eyes sleepily while Jude attempted to put his legs into his pull-up diaper and pajama bottoms. She wasn't fast enough and a stream of urine arched and hit her square in the chest.

She gasped in surprise.

"Noah peed," Brady squealed, his wet body wiggling in Tommy's arms.

"Jude, I'm so sorry," Tommy said. It didn't come out quite like that though; it was muffled by his laughter.

Jude stared at her shirt forlornly. He knew it was probably vintage Clash, definitely expensive and his son had just peed on it.

Noah was oblivious to what had just happened. He looked like he was about to fall over with fatigue. Tommy was surprised to realize that Jude was actually suppressing her own giggles as she finished getting Noah dressed. Once she had his pants on she looked up at Tommy, a wry grin on her face and shrugged. "It's been that kind of night."

He laughed again, relieved by her reaction and easy-going manner. Not everyone would have responded that way.

"Want to trade kids?" she asked. "You can put Noah to bed while I get the other munchkin dressed."

"I not a munkin," Brady protested. "I's a fish."

"Well, Mr. Fish," Jude took his arm and gently pulled him to her. "Let's get you dressed so you don't accidentally pee on me like your brother," she joked which made Brady laugh.

Tommy smiled as he watched Jude tickle Brady. He picked up a sleepy Noah and somewhat reluctantly left the amusing scene in the bathroom. He could still hear Brady's giggles as he went down the hall to the bedroom the boys shared. With the skill and ease of practice he quickly tucked Noah in and kissed his forehead. He whispered a soft 'I love you' and 'goodnight'.

Back in the bathroom, Jude and Brady were singing a goofy song about a worm named Herman. Brady's giggles were infectious as they got to the part about Herman burping and Jude laughed along with him.

Tommy stood in the doorway and watched for a moment. When the song was over he cleared his throat. "Okay, little man. It's time for bed." He picked up his pajama-clad son and carried him back to the bedroom where Noah was already softly snoring.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Jude watched as Tommy tucked Brady into his bed. She felt her eyes prick with unwanted tears and took a deep breath to keep them at bay. She was being silly. She didn't know why she was getting so emotional about seeing Tommy interact with the boys. She'd known he was a good father, so it shouldn't have been a surprise.

"Jude…say g'night," Brady demanded from where he was nestled between his Lightening McQueen bed sheets.

Tommy sat on the edge of the small bed and shushed him, reminding him that his brother was asleep.

Jude made her way into the room, treading softly to avoid the cars and motorcycles scattered on the floor. She hadn't had time to come in and pick things up. She stopped next to the bed and Brady's arms lifted towards her. She leaned down and kissed his forehead and was rewarded with a sweet smile as she whispered "Night buddy," to him.

"Night Jude," his little voice answered back, already slurred with sleepiness.

She smiled down at him, unable to hide the affection she already felt after just one night. From the corner of her eyes she saw Tommy watching her and she stepped back, almost tripping on a car before leaving the room.

She took a deep breath when she reached the hallway and caught a whiff of urine from her wet t-shirt. She made her way to the bathroom. Maybe she could wash it out. She stood in front of the sink, examining the shirt in the mirror for a moment before reaching for the hem to pull it off. It was halfway up when a throat cleared from the doorway. She jumped at the sound and her face heated with embarrassment when she realized she'd almost just stripped down in plain sight.

"Sorry," her voice came out squeaky as she met Tommy's gaze.

"Let me get you a dry shirt," he offered.

She didn't bother trying to talk again; instead she gave him a jerky head nod.

As soon as he disappeared Jude brought her hands up to her face, screaming silently into her palms. She was an idiot. Twenty-one years old and still crushing on a former boyband heartthrob. How ridiculous was she?

She heard him coming back and quickly turned on the faucet to wash her hands.

He walked back into the bathroom and held out a t-shirt. "It might me a little big," he told her with an apologetic shrug.

"I'm sure it's fine. Thanks."

They stood there awkwardly, staring at each other and then looking away.

Tommy broke the silence. "I'm, uh…sorry about Noah and the uh…" he gestured toward her chest.

Jude looked down and blushed again as she realized that the white fabric of her t-shirt was wet and transparent. She brought her arms up to cross them in front of her chest.

"Oh, no. That was my fault," she looked up at Tommy. "Rookie mistake, I guess. I'm used to 'Rissa. Different equipment," she joked.

Tommy laughed and some of the tension started to dissipate.

"I'll let you change," he offered.

Jude nodded and dropped her hands to her sides until she realized that Tommy's gaze was no longer on her face but that it lingered on her chest as he left the bathroom.

She seriously needed to get out of there. Fast.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

"Oh, god, Sadie. I was so embarrassed," Jude groaned. It was the afternoon after the babysitting catastrophe and Sadie had called Jude for a shopping outing while Kwest went to pick up Marissa from his parents.

"It can't have been that bad," Sadie assured her as they power-walked to the next store. Jude figured this must be how Sadie kept in such great shape. She shopped like a maniac. She was loaded down with shopping bags full of shirts for Kwest and new shoes for Marissa. Not to mention the many things she'd already picked up for herself.

Jude only had one bag and it was from the music store. Sadie had generously allowed her five minutes to go in and pick up some new guitar strings.

"Noah peed on me."

That halted Sadie in her tracks as she started to laugh with disbelief. "Are you joking?"

"Does it look like I'm joking?" she asked, giving her sister her most serious face.

Sadie started walking again and Jude almost had to sprint to catch up. The girl could seriously shop.

"So after the peeing what happened?"

It took Jude a moment before she could answer. They were in the store now and Sadie was already skimming through racks. She started handing Jude hangers of various clothing items and looked at her expectantly when she didn't immediately respond.

"We put the boys to bed. Then I went in the bathroom to wash the pee from my shirt; which was that vintage Clash shirt that SME got me for my birthday last year."

Sadie winced. "Bad choice for babysitting."

"Tell me about it. Anyway, so I'm in the bathroom and I started to take off my shirt when suddenly Tommy's standing in the doorway. He was nice and didn't mention the fact that I was stripping down in his house, but he did offer me a clean shirt. Which you would love by the way, because it's old school Boyz Attack."

That peaked Sadie's interest. "Do you still have it?"

Jude nodded and then shook her head. "Wait, did you not hear the part where I almost stripped down in his bathroom?"

"I heard. But he didn't see anything, because if he had, maybe you would have gotten a little action and would be less irritable."

"_Sadie_."

"Fine. So then what happened?"

"What happened was that I was so embarrassed by the entire thing that I changed my shirt, grabbed my bag and fled. I didn't even tell him goodbye. I just took off."

Sadie looked up from a rack of sweaters. "You just left?"

Jude nodded and shifted on her feet. The large pile of clothes in her arms was precariously close to crashing to the floor. "I panicked. I mean…Sadie, it's been three years since I've really talked to him and everyone but him knew how I felt about him back then. And when he left without saying anything, it really hurt because I realized that our friendship hadn't meant as much to him as it did to me."

Sadie's expression grew sympathetic. "I'm sorry I asked you to baby-sit. I wasn't thinking how awkward that might be for you."

"It's okay, Sades. I could have told you no. I think a part of me wanted to see if I could reconnect with him. But I sort of made that impossible by being so…me. But those boys are great and we had a good night, aside from the peeing and the…uh peanut butter incident…"

Sadie's mouth opened but Jude shook her head. "Don't ask."

"Okay then. What I think you need is some serious retail therapy," Sadie observed with a somewhat devious smile. "Let's head to the dressing room so you can start trying stuff on."

"But I haven't even picked anything out," Jude protested.

Sadie gave her a look and tilted her head towards the pile in Jude's arms. "Like I'd let you pick out your own clothes."

Two hour and six new outfits later, the only thing Jude was feeling was tired.

"That suit looked great on you," Sadie enthused. "It's perfect for your grad school interviews."

"That's still a few months away," Jude pointed out.

"One can never be too prepared. Now what you need is something sexy to go underneath."

"What? Why?" What kind of interviews did her sister think these would be?

As if she could read Jude's mind, Sadie rolled her eyes. "Not like that, dork. The only person who has to know about the sexy underwear is you. It's a confidence booster, to make you feel good."

"Comfort feels good. And cotton is comfort," Jude rationalized.

"Nope. Come on." Sadie practically dragged Jude down to the lingerie store.

As they stepped inside she let Sadie take her back over by the lace bra and panty sets. Truthfully, she already owned a bunch of nice underwear. She'd read about the whole confidence boosting, sexy underwear thing a long time ago and had experienced its effects, but she didn't want to ruin Sadie's illusion that she was boring.

As they perused the collection Sadie started to point out several sets that Jude already owned. In fact the white set on the mannequin was currently…

Jude stopped and released the handles of the bags she was holding.

Oh. God.

That white bra…she'd been wearing it last night. At Tommy's. And when she'd gotten home to her apartment, she wasn't wearing anything but his t-shirt.

"Jude, what's wrong? You're as red as a tomato." Sadie observed, her voice was mildly concerned.

Jude covered her face with her hands and groaned. She hadn't even thought about it last night. She'd been too worried about getting out of there.

"Sadie?" she peaked through the fingers that covered her eyes. "I think I left my bra in Tommy's bathroom."


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

After handing Jude a clean T-shirt, Tommy had gone to the kitchen to see if he had anything to offer her to drink. He was going to suggest that they talk, clear the air about three years ago and maybe get past the awkwardness they felt around each other. He found a bottle of wine that had been a housewarming gift from Sadie and grabbed that along with two glasses and set them out on the kitchen counter. Then he'd made his way back to the bathroom only to find it empty. He figured she'd gone to the living room as so he went that direction. But as he was getting there he heard the front door click followed closely by the sound of Jude's mustang starting up.

She'd snuck out. And he hadn't been sure what to think about that. If he hadn't been so tired it might have kept him awake, wondering how he could fix things between them. All he could think was that she was avoiding him because she was upset about how things had been left. The other alternative was that he wasn't even a blip on her radar anymore. Having her upset with him was the better alternative at this point because it meant that she at least felt something for him, even if it was anger.

Then of course that morning when he'd been getting Noah dressed Braden had come flying into the bedroom with something decidedly lacey and feminine wrapped around his head like it was a hat. Tommy's eyes had almost bugged out of his head when he recognized what it was. There really wasn't a whole lot to it and the visceral reaction that resulted when he realized the lacey bra belonged to Jude had surprised him. It had definitely been awhile since he'd seen one of those things. And it had to be Jude's, because there hadn't been a woman or any female items in the house since about three months after Noah was born and Angie had left. He'd only been able to stare at the undergarment at first, not entirely sure what to do with it. Jude had probably dropped it in her haste to escape him last night.

Now, after washing it, the bra was sitting on his desk at G-Major, disguised in a brown paper bag. He hadn't figured out how, but he needed to get it back to Jude. Having it in his possession was doing funny things to him. Making him remember things that he probably shouldn't, like how she'd been wearing something very similar that night he'd lost control with her on his couch. Then the memories turned to fantasies that involved what might have happened if they hadn't been interrupted.

His eyes kept drifting over to the brown bag only to dart back to his computer screen as he tried to focus on the demos he was listening to for his new band. He'd get through a song, but inevitably his eyes would end up focused on that damn bag again.

When Kwest popped his head into the office to ask about lunch, Tommy shoved the brown sack at him. "Can you make sure Jude gets that?" he asked.

"Sure. What is it?"

Tommy tried to stop him, but Kwest had already opened the sack and turned an inquiring gaze in Tommy's direction.

"Not exactly what I was expecting to see," he admitted. Then as if a thought occurred to him, "What exactly are you doing with Jude's bra? Did you and she….?" He made an awkward hand gesture and Tommy's eyes grew wide.

"No!" he said quickly. "There was a bath-slash-potty thing and she had to borrow a shirt from me."

Kwest smirked with amusement. "Never thought I'd hear Tom Quincy say the word 'potty'."

"Shut up. I heard you on the phone this morning asking Marissa if she was a good girl and went pee-pee on her big girl chair. So don't start."

Kwest laughed. "Alright, fine. So does Jude know that I'll be handing this over to her?"

"Uh…I'm not sure if she knows I have it. We haven't talked since she snuck out of my house last night."

"Sounds like Jude."

Tommy shook his head, clearly frustrated and confused. "I don't understand it. She and I used to be close and I was kind of hoping that we could be friends again."

"Don't worry so much. You'll get there. She just needs time to adjust," Kwest assured him. "Now, what about that lunch?"

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

For the second time in as many days, Jude found herself at Tommy's front door. Reluctantly she reached out and rang the doorbell, hoping that the nanny would answer and she could search for the misplaced undergarment.

But that wasn't the case. Luck was seldom on Jude's side and this was no exception. Tommy answered the door holding Noah upside down by his feet.

"Jude!" he exclaimed in surprise and quickly righted the giggling child.

"Hi! Uh…sorry to just show up like this, but I think I left something here last night," she explained. She could feel her cheeks growing warm as she looked at him.

Tommy adjusted Noah in his arms. "I gave it to Kwest this morning."

Jude's eyes practically bugged out of her head. "You gave my bra to Kwest?" she asked loudly with disbelief.  
As if on cue, Braden appeared and started chanting 'bra' over and over as he ran around Tommy's legs.

Tommy's hand reached out and covered Brady's mouth to stifle the words.

"Shit, just kill me know," Jude thought to herself.

She hadn't realized she said the words out loud until Braden slipped from Tommy's grasp and started to say 'shit' as he ran into the other room.

Jude's hand flew to her mouth. "Oh god. I'm so sorry," she squeaked out.

Tommy said nothing, but went after Brady. He set Noah down and grabbed his son who was alternately saying 'shit' and 'bra'.

"Brady, those are words that only grownups say," Tommy explained as he held Brady at eye level. "Little boys don't say those words unless they want to sit in time out with out their toys."

"Does Jude gots to sit in time out?" Brady asked solemnly.

Tommy shook his head. "No. Jude's a grownup."

"Oh." He appeared satisfied with that answer.

"So, do you promise not to say it again?" Tommy asked.

Brady nodded yes and smiled. "Wassa bra, daddy?"

That's when the giggles started and Jude slapped her hand over her mouth to cover it up. She had always had a habit of laughing at inappropriate times. The therapist she'd visited when her mom was sick had explained that some people responded that way when nervous or uncomfortable. This was definitely uncomfortable, but maybe a little bit funny.

Tommy ignored Brady's question and set him down. "Daddy needs to talk to Jude. Why don't you and Noah go play?"

The boys ran off and Jude's giggles disappeared when she realized she was alone with Tommy. "Sorry about the…uh…swearing…thing." She gestured nervously toward the front door where the crime had been committed.

He gave her a wry grin. "I've said worse. I believe he once ran around the airport in New York saying 'fuck' after I slipped and said it when we missed our flight."

Jude cracked a partial grin at his admission.

"So what happened to you last night?" His eyes were locked on her face and she wanted to look away.

"Uh…I realized that I had to be somewhere. I was…uh meeting someone." Her hand went up and ruffled her hair nervously as she lied.

He took a step forward as she spoke. Instinctively she took a step back.

"That late? Sadie said you didn't go out much, that you weren't, uhm, seeing anyone?"

Jude took another step back, shaking her head in annoyance as anger flared. She was going to kill Sadie. Seriously. "I don't exactly tell Sadie everything." The words came out a little more harshly than she'd intended and Tommy took a step back that time and for split second she thought she saw disappointment in his expression.

He opened his mouth to say something, but the words stuck there as his cell phone started to ring.

Jude's eyes widened as she recognized the ring tone on his phone as '24 hours', her first single.

He answered the phone with a quickly hello and turned slightly away from Jude. She could faintly hear a male voice from the other end of the call.

"Right now? I already sent the nanny home. She won't come back…" Tommy stopped as the other person interrupted him. "Fine. I'll figure it out," he grumbled. The call ended and he shoved the phone into his pants pocket, clearly frustrated.

"Work?" she asked.

He nodded. "D wants me there to work with the new Instant Star. He's pushing to put her album out as soon as possible and apparently she's got a break, between public appearances, to record. I've gotta go back in."

"Do you need me to watch the boys?" The question was past her lips before she could filter.

"I don't want to impose," he immediately protested.

"You're not," she shook her head. "I'm offering. Unless you'd rather someone else? I know I was a disaster last night."

"No! You…you were fine. In fact they can't stop talking about you," he assured her. "I just don't want to interfere with your life," he finished.

"You're not. It's fine. So, tell your kids goodbye and go. We'll be great. I promise."

He stared at her for a second as if torn, but then he was moving foward and before she realized what was happening, his lips were pressed against her cheek. It was just a brush of his lips, but it was enough to elicit goosebumps all over and she took a half step away from him.

"Thanks," he told her sincerely. "I owe you big time, Jude." He turned to leave, pausing at the living room doorway. "We should talk later."

All she could do was stand there and nod stupidly, inwardly cursing herself for being so weak when it came to Tom Quincy.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

The talk that Tommy had suggested didn't actually take place until almost a week later. When Tommy returned from the studio that night, Jude had been fast asleep on the couch, the TV volume on low. He'd given himself a moment to just stand there and watch her before leaning over and gently shaking her shoulder to wake her.

She'd jerked upward and their heads nearly collided. Tommy had seen the mortification on her face and decided not to press the talking issue, at least not that night.

Now it was six days later and the talk would be avoided no more. He'd made sure of it.

The last Wednesday of every month was the day Darius set aside for Jude to come into G-Major and record her demos. The studio C schedule was always completely cleared for the day. As soon as Tommy found out about that, he'd made sure to clear his own schedule and now he was waiting by the studio C soundboard, coffee for two in hand.

He arrived at G-Major early, not completely sure when Jude would show up. If past experience was any indication, she'd probably rush in about an hour after her expected arrival with some tall tale excuse to explain her tardiness.

So when the studio was booked from eight am to midnight, he expected her to arrive sometime after nine that morning. When she strolled in at 9:23 am he could only smirk. He was glad to see that not everything had changed in his absence.

Jude did a double take when she noticed him at the soundboard. "Quincy?"

"You're late, Harrison," he said in his sternest voice. "What's your excuse this time? A pile up on the freeway? Flat tire?"

She caught on quickly and cracked a smile before schooling her face in an innocent expression. "It wasn't my fault. I swear. Traffic was stopped for an escaped convict chase."

Tommy shook his head as if disappointed and did his best Darius impression. "Time is money, Harrison, and you're wasting both."

Jude burst out laughing and leaned back against the studio wall.

He liked seeing her smile like that. It felt right, normal…almost like before.

As her laughter died down he held out a coffee cup to her and watched her expression change to eagerness as she reached for his offering. "Thanks, Quincy," she murmured appreciatively after taking a sip. "I definitely need this." A yawn escaped her mouth and she tried to cover it with her hand before collapsing into the free chair next to Tommy's.

"Tired?" he asked before taking a sip of his own coffee.

She nodded. "I picked up an extra waitressing shift last night." Before he could comment she eyed him curiously. "So what's with the coffee treatment?"

He tipped his head towards her as turned the chair in her direction. "I was hoping to convince you to let me help you record your demos. For old times sake." He gave her his most flirtatious smile, the one that he'd used for as long as he could remember to try and get women to do what he wanted.

She looked thoughtful, too familiar with Tommy's tactics to give in immediately. She took her time answering and drank more of the coffee that he had so generously provided. "Hmmm, well I guess you're already off to a good start with the bribery by coffee. But I'm on the fence here," she finally answered, her voice teasing and playful. "Old times would involve the return of the producing 'nazi', who used to make me do take after take until my voice was almost gone. And I don't really have time for that. I've got ten new songs to cut demos for and they have to be done by six pm."

"Ten?" He raised is eyebrows at that. That was a lot of new music.

She shrugged and offered him a cute smile. "You always said I was prolific. And now that quality is no longer a necessity, I try to get as many songs to Darius as possible. He's paying my rent and the rest of my mom's doctor bills."

Tommy frowned at that, no longer feeling as playful as he had few seconds ago. He cleared his throat and looked down at his mug.

"I'm sorry about your mom," he said softly and looked up to meet her gaze.

She looked away almost immediately, her posture changing, getting tense. "You don't have to be sorry, Quincy. Cancer killed her, not you."

He didn't buy her nonchalant response. "I'm just…I'm sorry I wasn't here for you."

She shrugged and turned her chair away from him. "It's in the past now. I really, I just can't talk about it, okay?" She looked at him, eyes bright with emotion, pleading for him to let it go.

His short nod indicated that he understood.

Silence filled the air.

Finally Jude turned to him. "How about just one song? For 'old time's sake'?"

He grinned and eagerly agreed. "Do I get to bark orders at you?" he teased.

She laughed and he was relieved that she seemed to relax again. "Nope. You just get to listen. Oh and try to remember it's just a demo, so it doesn't have to be perfect."

Tommy shook his head, as if he couldn't quite agree to those terms. "I don't know, Jude. It might physically kill me to produce something that isn't flawless."

"You're tough, old man. You can take it." She stood up and offered him a smirk.

"Oh. Burn." He clutched at his chest in mock pain. "Pulling out the old man card."

"Wait until I start to razz you about your gray hair." She giggled at the horrified expression on Tommy's face.

"I do NOT have gray hair," he insisted, his fingers reaching gingerly to touch the styled strands.

Jude laughed her way into the booth, leaving him sitting in the producer's chair, still worrying over his hair while she set up her guitar.

He leaned over to the mic and pressed the button to talk into the booth. "You ready to do this?" he asked with a grin.

Jude's answering smile was bright, her words still teasing. "You ready to show me how it's done?"

"There are so many inappropriate responses to that question."

And just like that, their awkwardness was gone and it was like the past three years hadn't happened as they slipped into their old roles. Producer and artist, co-writers…friends.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

With Tommy's expert help, Jude was able to finish all ten of the demo songs in record time. They finished each with only a couple of takes and she only had to remind him once that the songs weren't intended for an album. They worked through lunch until early afternoon. Tommy wrapped up the tracks, saved them to a portable hard drive for Jude and then suggested lunch because he was starving. Jude readily agreed and that's how they found themselves at the café down the street from G-Major.

It really did feel like old times, Jude thought to herself as they were seated in the same booth they'd always occupied in the past. They even ordered the same food they'd always gotten before, with Tommy taking her tomatoes and Jude taking the lemon from his tea. Everything was going smoothly. They were talking and laughing. She was able to put aside any residual nervousness and ignore her raging hormones and just enjoy Tommy's company without thinking about the past or having inappropriate lustful thoughts.

Okay, so that was a lie. No sane woman could sit across from Tom Quincy and not lust after him. He was a perfect specimen with his thick black hair, gorgeous blue eyes and chiseled jaw line. Not to mention that he was a terrific father and completely domesticated. He'd washed her bra for her, for god's sake. The man was a walking female wet dream, but better. He was a fantasy come to life.

Until he opened his mouth, that is. Then he kind of ruined it.

"The demos you did today are good," he commented. The comment was casual enough, but she waited, biting her lip, for him to go on.

"The songs themselves are…fantastic," he continued.

"Thanks," she responded. She knew this was going somewhere, could sense that she wasn't going to like the direction his words were taking.

"So why aren't they for your own album?"

Jude sucked in a deep breath. This was the line of questioning that she'd been hoping to avoid. This was the part where he asked for reasons that she wasn't ready to share with him. There were things that happened when he'd left that no one knew about, things that had played a huge role in the demise of her recording contract with G-Major. Now wasn't the time to get into that, not when they'd just gotten comfortable with each other again. She didn't want to face his disappointment.

"Because I'm no longer a G-Major artist," she told him. She picked up the paper napkin next to her plate and began to twist it in her fingers.

"I'm sure that if you just talked to Darius, he'd be willing to renegotiate your contract."

Jude disagreed. "I already tried that once and was shot down. My music career is over. I'm an Instant Star has-been."

"It doesn't have to be that way," his voice was earnest and she knew that he thought he could change her mind.

She kept fiddling with the napkin, twisting the ends until the paper seemed to disintegrate in her fingers as she tried to come up with a response. "Tommy, I need you to just let this go," she pleaded, her eyes finally meeting his. "A lot of stuff happened while you were gone, things that no one, not even Sadie knows about and I just…well, Instant Star and G-Major are a part of my past now. I'm not the same naïve, girl who won that contest and wanted to be a Rockstar. I've lived that life and it didn't…it didn't make me happy."

"And you're happy now?"

She looked away from him, not liking the concern she saw in his eyes. Part of her wanted to be angry that he was even bringing this all back up. He'd walked away when she really needed him, and now he wanted answers? Wanted to question the choices she'd been forced to make?

She faced him again and gave her a smile that she hoped seemed real and reassuring. "This is my life now, Tommy. I'm happy. I'm going to be a teacher and train the next generation of Instant Stars. And besides that, I'm still writing, so I haven't given everything up. You don't need to be so worried, Quincy."

To her great relief, he took her answer and let it go. For a second he looked like he wanted to say something else, but she cut him off to ask about the boys. The distraction worked well and he started to relay their latest antics until both he and Jude were laughing.

"You've done a really good job with them, Quincy."

Tommy ducked his head, his cheeks coloring slightly at her words and she thought it was cute that he was embarrassed by the compliment. "It definitely hasn't been easy," he admitted. "I've pretty much given up on having any kind of social life. I don't think I've seen a movie that wasn't PG or under in over a year. But…it's worth it."

Jude couldn't help the warm smile she gave him. Things had certainly changed for him. She could still remember when she'd first met him. He'd definitely lived up to the image that the tabloids had created for him. He and Angie had been quite the partying duo. She'd seen a lot of cover stories about their public fights and over-the-top partying. She hadn't exactly been thrilled that he was her producer back then. But the more they'd worked together, the more he'd changed. He spent more time in the studio and less time out drinking and partying. She'd noticed it and asked him about it once. His response had been that he was trying to be a good role model. At the time she had thought it funny, but now she really thought it might have been true. Even more so when Brady had entered the picture. His life's focus had shifted and she could see that he really did think it was all worth it.

"So what now, Mr. Q? Got any other plans for today?" she asked. The waitress brought their bill and Tommy quickly grabbed it before Jude could protest and handed the woman his credit card.

"Nope. Nothing. I cleared my schedule to work with you all day. I wasn't expecting us to get done so early."

"You should go spend some quality time with your kids," she suggested.

Tommy leaned back in chair. "I wish. But apparently, if I change my work schedule at all during the day it will throw off the 'routine' that Mrs. Du Tois is trying to establish. She yelled at me yesterday when I got home early," he admitted almost sheepishly.

"Where'd you find her? She sounds like a bitch."

Tommy started to laugh. "She's my aunt." He managed to get out.

Jude slapped her hand over her mouth. She inwardly groaned. This is why she really needed to think before she spoke sometimes. "I'm so sorry, that was…" she started to mumble through her hand.

Tommy was still chuckling as he pulled her hand from her mouth. "It's okay. She kind of is a bitch sometimes. But she's also pretty good with the boys."

Jude's cheeks were still flushed with the embarrassment of her faux pas when they left the restaurant and started the walk back to G-Major.

As they stepped out into the waning afternoon sunshine she tilted her face toward the light, soaking in the sun's rays and the overall beauty of the day. When she opened her eyes Tommy was watching her, a half smile on his face. "Better watch where you're going, Big Eyes." His hand on her elbow was already guiding her around a fire hydrant.

Her face flushed again. She hadn't heard anyone call her that…well in three years. Tommy was the only one who had ever used that particular endearment. It had certainly always made her feel special. He'd started calling her that after her sixteenth birthday. She'd been dating Darius' nephew Shay at the time and G-Major had thrown her a huge party. The best part of that whole day had been Tommy. He'd surprised her with a driving lesson is the viper, his most prized possession. That night at the party he'd given her a big hug and a "Happy Sixteenth, Big Eyes." She'd overheard Kwest asking him about the nickname. And her teenage heart had gone into overdrive at the answer. "She's got the most beautiful, expressive eyes I've ever seen. Everything she feels, she tells you with her eyes. I never have to wonder what she's thinking when she looks at me." Her crush on him had been solidified at that moment. To the point that she'd been near tears as she watched him with Angie the rest of the night and the two of them had announced that she was pregnant with Brady.

Jude tried to shake off the memory. It wasn't something she liked to think about. Instinctively she moved away from Tommy, away from his light hold on her arm.

"So Mrs. Du Tois' your aunt. I didn't know you were French, Quincy," she commented.

He ducked his head and glanced at her from the side, a half smile on his lips. "Truth?"

She gave him a questioning look and a nod, encouraging him to spill the secret.

"My last name isn't really Quincy," he confided. "Darius had me legally change it when Boyz Attack started. He thought it sounded better than Du Tois."

Jude's feet stopped moving and her mouth opened in shock as she stared at him. "What? How come you never told me?"

"No one but Darius knew my real last name until about two seconds ago. Now you know." He shrugged and nudged her to keep walking. "Back then it was better for my family, especially when I started to show up in the tabloids all the time."

"Huh. Well. I guess you learn something new every day." She paused. "What about the boys then? Are they Quincy's or Du Tois'?"

"There last name is Quincy. That's legally my name now."

"Good. 'Cause I don't think I can wrap my mind around a new last name. You'll always be Quincy to me."

His shoulder bumped against hers then and she wasn't entirely sure it was an accident. "So, since we're in share mode…where did 'J.D. Harris' come from?" he asked her.

Jude rolled her eyes and bumped his shoulder, clearly on purpose. "I would think that would be obvious, Quincy."

"Yeah, yeah. J for Jude and Harrison minus the 'on'. But what's the D? I've been wracking my brain trying to figure it out." He bumped her back, this time with his hip, almost tripping her up.

"My middle name. Duh!" she laughed.

"Should I know this middle name?"

She looked thoughtful. "Okay. I'll give you a hint. My dad was a huge Beatles fan and he picked our first names. My mom picked out our middle names and they came from her favorite movie. And that is…" she looked over at him, "Drum roll please…"

He obliged and tapped out a fake drum beat on his chest while he looked at her expectantly.

"…the Wizard of Oz," Jude concluded.

"So the D stands for Dorothy?" he snickered.

Jude punched him in the shoulder. "Stop. At least I didn't end up the other alternative. If I'd have been born first I would have been named for Mom's favorite character. Instead, Sadie's middle initial is G."

Now Tommy was really laughing. People were giving them funny looks as they passed them on the sidewalk.

"Seriously, Tommy. I didn't laugh about your real name," Jude pouted.

"You're right, I'm sorry. It's not funny, but…I…Sadie's middle name is Glenda?"

Jude's own laughter joined Tommy's then and their amusement continued as the finally reached G-Major. Inside she made her way back over to the studio to gather her guitar and music. Tommy followed her.

"I'm glad we got to do this," he told her sincerely, leaning against the soundbooth.

She nodded. "Yeah…me too. I forgot how much fun you could be," she teased.

"We should do it again."

She almost faltered a little as she shuffled her sheet music together and stuffed it into her messenger bag. "Uhm…yeah. Sure." She turned to face him. "Make sure you tell Brady and Noah 'Hi' from me," she told him as she grabbed her guitar to leave.

He reached over and touched her arm. "You should tell them yourself. Why don't you come over for dinner tomorrow night?"

"Oh…I don't know. I'm supposed to work…"

"We eat early now. I promise you'll make your shift."

She couldn't tell him no when he asked so nicely and was giving her his patented Tommy Quincy, 'pretty please, for me' look. "Ok. I'll be there."

Jude forced herself to walk away then, using all of her willpower to keep her head forward. But she was weak, had always been when it came to Tommy and she looked back. Her eyes collided with his, the expression on his face unreadable as he watched her. She had to look away, keep herself headed toward the exit and resist the pull, the part of her that wanted to run back into the studio and spend the rest of the afternoon locked inside with him. As much as today had seemed like the old days, she needed to remember that things had changed.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Tommy was gathering his stuff to head home for the day. It was still early, but he was willing to incur the wrath of Mrs. Du Tois to spend the rest of the afternoon with his boys. A knock on his office door interrupted him and he looked up, surprised to see Darius standing there.

"You heading out?" Darius asked.

Tommy nodded. "Jude finished early. I was gonna head home."

Darius nodded. "How did this morning go?" He made his way inside and sat down in the chair across from Tommy's desk.

"Good. Almost like I remembered. Her style's a little different, but still…Jude." Tommy settled into his own chair. He wasn't sure what was going on. Darius never randomly stopped by someone's office. A person was always summoned to him.

"So you wouldn't have a problem working with her again?"

"What do you mean?" He wasn't sure what Darius was getting at. Jude had been adamant that she wasn't interested in resigning with G-Major.

"I want you to go through all of the demo tracks she's recorded. Everything. See if any of it is salvageable for an album."

Tommy's eyes widened, slightly taken aback with the command. "Come again?"

"Jude's had enough time to mess around. I want her back in the studio even if that means using the stuff she's already recorded," Darius explained.

"D, no offense, but I don't think…"

"T-man, you've been away for awhile, so you don't know. But if I tell Jude that I want her back in the studio, she'll be there. Until then, I want you to pick out the songs that have the most potential. I know you've already been sniffing around, trying to get your hands on the tracks. Now I'm giving them to you. They're yours and I want a hit record from them."

Tommy didn't know how to respond. He'd been hoping to convince Jude to give it another try, but he hadn't thought it would be like this. "What do I tell Jude?"

"Nothing, if you want to keep working here. This is all on the down low. It doesn't have to happen overnight. You've got time; you can work on it between all of your other projects. But I don't want Jude to know just yet. I'll fill her in when the timing is right. Until then…I'm trusting you to pull something together."

"With all due respect, D, I'm not even sure this is something I can do. I've never worked without the artist's input before. I'm not sure if I can put a whole album together like that," he told him. Never mind the fact that it was dishonest and scheming. How would he keep that from Jude? They'd just gotten their friendship on level ground, and now he was supposed to produce an entire album of her songs without her even knowing about it.

"Just work on it, that's all I'm asking at this point. I think you'll understand the why of it all once you hear the music." Darius stood up then and left Tommy sitting there. "The hard drive with her music is in my office. Take it home with you. Listen to it."

Tommy ran his hand through his hair in frustration. This was a complication that he did not need. So far, everything had been drama free, but this would change all of that once Jude found out. The part of him that was curious about Jude's music was thrilled with the opportunity to work with her again, the other part of him, the part that understood her need to get away from the insaneness of the music industry, didn't want to be involved. But clearly, he didn't have a choice. He only hoped Darius knew what the hell he was doing.


	4. Chapter 4

Part 4

"You know, when your dad said to come over for dinner, this wasn't what I imagined." Two curious faces started back at Jude as if they didn't quite understand what she was saying. She was sitting at Tommy's kitchen table, a little boy on each side of her, both propped up on booster seats with hands and faces covered in pizza sauce.

She couldn't help but smile as she looked at them. Brady had been talking about his motorcycle guy and the bad guys in the black helmets and a number of other things that Jude couldn't comprehend but that Noah seemed to understand explicitly. It was incredibly amusing to see them both chatting away as they ate, while she tried to finish her own slice of pizza. 

She'd shown up at the house at five thirty that night, as per Tommy's instructions only to run into him as he was trying to load both boys and their backpacks of toys into his Escalade. He'd hastily apologized and started to explain about a work emergency involving an intern and some ruined music tracks. He'd barely gotten through his explanation before she'd volunteered to watch the boys so that he didn't have to take them to the studio.

Tommy had protested for all of two seconds until she'd reassured him that she could call into her other job and get someone to cover for her there. The boys had been excited to stay with her, so she figured she must have not been doing too terrible a job with them. Tommy agreed, and mumbled something about 'owing her big time' before he'd taken off for the studio. 

And now they were at the kitchen table eating takeout pizza and talking. Jude had to admit that she was enjoying the company, despite the fact that it hadn't been exactly what she'd been expecting for the evening. Although she honestly hadn't really known what to expect. She and Tommy had a great time together the day before and she'd been hoping that dinner would go just as well. If nothing else, she'd missed his friendship the last few years and it was nice to be able to talk with someone the way she was able to talk with him.

Of course, his boys were pretty good listeners too. After the pizza they spent the rest of the evening playing until they were worn out. Jude didn't attempt a bath again and opted to wipe them off as thoroughly as possible. There were a couple of times where she was astounded that they'd managed to get pizza sauce in so many different places aside from their mouths. Once they were in their pajamas, she snuggled with them on the couch to watch their favorite movie. She ended up laughing way more than the movie warranted because the boys had it memorized and were repeating the lines, even anticipating them as the story unfolded. Towards the end of the movie, the line repetition decreased and the boys fell asleep. 

She'd just gotten them settled into their beds when her cell phone started ringing in her bag. She grabbed it as quickly as possible, hoping that the loud ring wouldn't disturb the boys.

"Jude, where the hell are you?" a gruff male voice yelled into her ear.

She swore as she realized what had happened. "Iggy, I'm so sorry. I forgot to call, but I had a family emergency."

"That seems to happen a lot with you," Iggy responded. He definitely wasn't the sympathetic type and Jude knew he had every right to be mad at her. She wasn't always the best about showing up for her shifts at 'The Chain'.

"I'm really sorry," she said again.

"Well are you gonna make it in or not?" he demanded.

She bit her lip and glanced at the clock by the stereo. It was barely nine o'clock and she had no idea how long Tommy was going to be. "I don't…I can't leave where I'm at just yet. But I'll be there as soon as I can."

Iggy's response was "Don't bother. I'll get someone else to cover for you…" he paused, "…indefinitely." Then he hung up leaving Jude staring at her phone.

When she looked up, she was surprised to see Tommy watching her from the doorway. He seemed to have a habit of doing that, sneaking up on her when she wasn't expecting him. 

His gaze was questioning.

"I think I just lost my job," she said, still not quite sure if she'd understood Iggy correctly.

Tommy stepped into the room. "I'm so sorry, Jude. I didn't mean for you to…"

She held up her hand to stop him. "It's really not a big deal. I pretty much hated that job anyway. I'm not so much into grunge metal and old men in leather. I'm sure I can find something better to tide me over."

Tommy made his way over to the chair across from the couch and sat down. "Before you start looking for a new job, there's something else I want to ask you."

Jude eyed him curiously. He looked almost…nervous? Tom Quincy was never nervous or unsure, but he actually looked like he wasn't quite sure how to talk to her.

"I was going to bring this up earlier, over dinner, but then that other stuff happened and…"

"So…what is it? Ask me." 

"It's about G-Major," he started. 

"If you're about to ask me to come in and record again, you can save your breath," she interrupted. She'd already explained all of this to him, the best way she could. She really didn't want to have this discussion again, not now, when she'd just lost another job.

"Uh…No." He paused. "I was…uh…actually going to say that well, the thing is…Mrs. Du Tois is really only supposed to be staying with the boys until five pm every evening. It's in her 'contract'. And I've been going into work early and leaving early to accommodate that. But you know how rockstars are, most of them don't make it to the studio until late morning or early afternoon and so my cutting out early everyday doesn't really work so well. I have to figure out some kind of alternative and I was wondering if you'd be interested…in a job?"

"Are you asking me to work for you? At G-Major?" Jude was confused and she wasn't sure if Tommy was entirely sure of what he was saying.

"No…watching the boys. I mean, I was wondering if you'd like a part time job watching the boys in the afternoons until I get home in the evening. You could just…stay with them from the time Mrs. Du Tois leaves until I get home from the studio."

"Oh. Really?" She was surprised by the offer. 

"You can think about it, if you want. Or you can just tell me it's a stupid idea. But you know…when I heard you on the phone earlier and then thought about my…situation, I just thought that maybe we could work something out…together." 

"And if I say yes?" She couldn't believe it, but she was actually thinking that it might not be so bad.

"Do you want to? I mean…that would be great, but is that…are you interested?" 

" I think I do…want to that is," she told him. It really would be a good deal. She'd go to classes during the day, watch the boys in the afternoons. It would be a nice fit for her life right now. And she and Tommy were friends again, so it wouldn't be awkward. Plus, she already loved Brady and Noah and it would be nice to have something to look forward to everyday. School was great, but now that she was concentrating on her major, it wasn't as challenging, so she needed a new adventure in her life. This would definitely be that. "So when do I start?"

He scratched his head and looked thoughtful. "Uhm, I guess is tomorrow too soon?"

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Tommy wanted to punch the wall. His conversation with Jude had not gone as planned, not at all. Somehow, he'd gone from trying to tell her about Darius and the album to hiring her to be a part time babysitter for his kids. How the hell did that even happen?

Okay, so maybe it was the part where he knew she'd get mad. Which was followed by the fact that she'd seemed to anticipate his question and cut him off at the pass. He'd frozen up then and been forced to improvise. Which was stupid. 

Jude was an adult. He shouldn't have been afraid of her getting upset with him. And yet, irrationally, he was. The last thing he wanted was for Jude to be angry with him, especially when he'd just gotten things back to a more comfortable level between them. So, he'd suggested the babysitting thing…on a whim, as a flimsy cover. 

But she said yes.

Which really wasn't a bad deal. On one hand, he hadn't been able to man-up and tell her the truth about the album he was secretly being forced to produce with her music, but on the other hand, he'd gained a babysitter. Someone whom he could trust to take care of his kids. Realistically, he hadn't lied when he told Jude about his work and daycare conflicts. In fact, he was surprised that he hadn't thought of hiring another sitter, sooner. But now it would be Jude. Which would be great, until she realized what was going with G-Major and her music.

With a frustrated groan Tommy threw himself onto the couch. He'd had a long day, followed by an equally long night, which was only made worse by the lying he'd done to Jude. 

He allowed himself to wallow in the mess he'd landed in for just a moment. Then he got up and went to the music room to his computer. He touched the mouse and the computer jumped from sleep mode to life and Tommy quickly clicked on the desktop icon for the external hard drive. 

When he'd first come back, hearing Jude's music had been a top priority. Now that it was right there, a mouse click away, he wasn't sure he wanted to listen to any of it. If he had any balls whatsoever he'd march into Darius' office the next morning and tell him what he could do with the album he wanted 'produced'. He wouldn't though, not when his job could be jeopardized. Leaving G-Major would mean uprooting the boys again and he couldn't do that. And even though he didn't want to hurt Jude, he also did want to see her walk away from a very promising music career. 

The icon opened up and a large list of music files appeared. Tommy clicked on the first one before he could second-guess himself and the music player opened, the first few measures of the song filtering through the computer speakers. He recognized it immediately. It was one of the tracks they'd been working on before he left. It was still little rough, but good. He skipped to the next song, another one that he knew. The first ten songs were all songs that he'd helped her with, songs that definitely would have made up that second album if it had been finished.

Tommy couldn't help but wonder if it was his fault that she'd quit. He knew that there had been a lot going on with her mom, but when she talked about it, the issue seemed go deeper than that and he couldn't figure out what would have gone so terribly wrong that she would just walk away from something she loved so much. And he knew that she loved it, being a star, performing for her fans. So why give it up without a fight or barely a glance back?

An hour went by as he sat there, listening to her tracks. The majority of them were new to him, and as he listened he tried to focus on the lyrics and the melody, his brain in producing overdrive as he thought of beats to match the song. There were a couple of times where he'd get too caught up in lyrics to do anything but listen. Jude's voice was amazing, and the emotions she brought to a song made it feel like it was being sung directly to the listener. Sometimes it made Tommy wonder just who each song was directed toward. 

He was about to call it a night when a file caught his attention. Most of the others were labeled by title, but this one just had a date on it, probably six months after he'd left. He clicked on it, expecting to hear something similar to the songs he'd just listened to. Instead he was stunned, motionless and her voice surrounded him, full of emotion and pain, a side of Jude that he'd never experienced before.

_Heaven bent to take my hand  
And lead me through the fire  
Be the long awaited answer  
To a long and painful fight_

Truth be told I've tried my best  
But somewhere along the way  
I got caught up in all there was to offer  
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent  
Love was raw and young  
We believed that we could change ourselves  
The past could be undone  
But we carry on our backs the burden  
Time always reveals  
The lonely light of morning  
The wound that would not heal  
It's the bitter taste of losing everything  
That I have held so dear.

I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bent to take my hand  
Nowhere left to turn   
I'm lost to those I thought were friends  
To everyone I know   
Oh they turned their heads embarrassed  
Pretend that they don't see  
But it's one missed step  
You'll slip before you know it  
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...  
I have sunk so low  
I have messed up  
Better I should know  
So don't come round here  
And tell me I told you so... 

It was almost painful to listen to, but not because it wasn't good. It was almost hauntingly beautiful, but so far from the Jude that he'd known. What the hell had happened? What could have made her write something so painful?

Her words from their lunch reverberated through his head. She'd told him that things had happened, things that even Sadie didn't know about. And it sure as hell couldn't be a coincidence that the date on the song was just two weeks before Darius had released her from her G-Major contract. 

Tommy ran a hand through his hair in frustration. This was bad. He really wanted to talk to Jude, ask her about the song, and find out what inspired it. But if he did that he'd have to explain why he was listening to it and he couldn't lie to her like that. It was one to thing to avoid mentioning something; it was another to lie to her face. 

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Three weeks into her new job, Jude felt like she'd finally gotten the hang of bath time. She knew all of Brady's tricks so there were no more streaking incidents. And Noah was almost potty trained, and Jude had become accustomed to telling when he might have to use the bathroom before he could pee all over her. So by those standards, she thought she was doing pretty good. 

The first few days had been interesting, but the boys had adjusted and she seriously loved them, even when they were being naughty, which was kind of a lot. Tommy on the other hand…well, Jude wasn't quite sure what to think of him. Things had been strange between them since he'd asked her to take the job. At first she thought maybe it was anxiety, that he wasn't sure if she was the right person for the job, but it wasn't that. He seemed almost uncomfortable around her. Which was strange, considering he'd practically hounded her to regain their friendship. 

Using Tommy's behavior as a guide, Jude was very careful to keep things semi-professional. She thought they were friends and for the most part they talked like they were and she tried to ignore the probing stares and questioning looks she sometimes caught him giving her when he thought she wasn't looking. She knew that she could easily fall into the same patterns from three years ago if she wasn't cautious. And then she'd end up hurt again. So aside from mostly casual conversation she tried not to probe too deeply and kept to conversation that revolved around the boys.

But that was hard to do. Especially when she was worried about Tommy. He'd been working pretty late, sometimes not getting home until after eleven pm, always looking exhausted. She knew that he missed getting the boys ready for bed and she usually tried to hold off, but Mrs. Du Tois had informed Jude that routine was extremely important and pretty much scared the hell out of her, so she'd given up on doing that. 

She'd just gotten Brady and Noah out of the bath and into their pajamas when the front door opened, surprising Jude. Tommy yelled for them and both Brady and Noah yelled back, excited to actually see their father. Jude let them go and watched them run to Tommy who eagerly scooped them up into a hug.

He was crouched on the floor, his arms around both boys. "You guys smell good," he stated as he held them. His eyes sparkled and he glanced up at Jude. "How did today go?"

Jude smiled. "Good. Mrs. Du Tois gave them both glowing reports and then we had a very fun evening. Tell Daddy what we did?" she told the boys. 

Brady grabbed Tommy's hand and started to drag him into the kitchen. 

"What did you guys do?"

Brady stopped in front of the refrigerator and pointed. "Fingewr painted," he said proudly. There were a series of pictures displayed with magnets, all of them a startling collaboration of colors.

"Ah, I see. That's why you smell so good. I bet you had to have baths after the finger painting." Understanding dawned on his face as he took in the still wet pictures decorating the entire surface of the fridge.

"Yep. And they were so good, they didn't even complain," Jude smiled down at Noah who was clamoring for Tommy's attention.

She watched Tommy pick him up and hug him. Then he took Braden's hand and led him out of the kitchen toward the family room. For a second Jude wasn't sure what to do. It was bedtime for the boys and her first instinct was to get them ready, but Tommy was home and so her presence was no longer necessary. It was kind of a strange feeling.

"So, I'm gonna head out," she offered as she followed them from the kitchen.

Tommy's head shot up in surprise and he looked back at her. "What?"

"Yeah…uhm, they're ready for their bedtime story, so I'll just…leave you to it."

"You don't have to leave yet," he told her. "You could stay, help me get them to sleep."

"Okay," she acquiesced with a shrug. It wasn't like she had anything better to do. And reading to the boys before bed was always fun. Sometimes she even sang to them and got them to sing along with her. 

Brady and Noah were both a little wound up by Tommy's appearance and so it took a little longer to get them calmed down and settled into their beds. Tommy was tucking Brady in and Jude had Noah on her lap in the rocking chair in their bedroom.

"Jood, sing," Noah said softly. His fingers were picking at her open palm; his head lay against her chest.

"Sing what?" she asked and kissed the top of his head.

"Our song!" Braden yelled from his bed.

Jude hesitated briefly, her eyes meeting Tommy's curious gaze. She gave in, unable to deny Brady's expectant face or Noah's soft request.

_Dragon tales and the "water is wide"  
Pirate's sail and lost boys fly  
Fish bite moonbeams every night  
And I love you_

Godspeed, little man  
Sweet dreams, little man  
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels' wings  
Godspeed  
Sweet dreams

The rocket racer's all tuckered out  
Superman's in pajamas on the couch  
Goodnight moon, we'll find the mouse  
And I love you

Godspeed, little man  
Sweet dreams, little man  
Oh my love will fly to you each night on angels' wings  
Godspeed  
Sweet dreams

As she sang her fingers stroked Noah's hair. She could feel Tommy's stare but kept her eyes on Brady, watching sleep claim him as she felt Noah's body relax in her arms. She finished the song softly; the only sound in the room the gentle, deep breathing of the boys.

Wordlessly, Tommy kissed Brady's forehead and then made his way to Jude. He lifted Noah from her arms and carried him to his bed.

Jude followed Tommy out of the bedroom after Noah was settled. 

She expected him to say something, but he was silent as he walked down the hallway toward the living room. She wasn't quite sure what to think; he wouldn't even look at her. She didn't understand why until he stopped suddenly and turned to face her.

His eyes looked so sad and for a brief moment Jude thought he was near tears. But he cleared his throat and took her hand in his, squeezing in tightly. "Jude…thank you," he finally managed. "For taking care of them. It…it means a lot to me."

Jude studied his face, not completely sure what to do. Tommy seemed out of sorts and even surprised by her affection for his sons. "You don't have to thank me. They're terrific," she responded softly.

He nodded and offered her a half-smile, his expression still a little sad. "That song was…amazing. Is it yours?"

"I sort of wrote it last week in a fit of inspiration one night. I think they like that it's about them." 

For a moment they both just kind of stood there in the hallway, staring at each other. Tommy looked like he wanted to say more, but couldn't find the words.

Jude suddenly remembered something she'd been meaning to give to Tommy for the last few days. "I have something for you," she blurted out.

His eyebrows rose in surprise. "Really?"

She was relieved to see the sadness start to leave his expression as curiosity took over.

"Yep!" She grabbed his hand more securely in hers and practically dragged him into the living room over to the couch. 

"Sit. And close your eyes," she ordered and waited for him to follow instructions.

He sat and looked up at her questioningly.

"Close your eyes," she insisted.

When she was sure his eyes were shut she went over to her messenger bag and pulled out a very poorly wrapped gift. When she turned back around he was leaning forward, his elbows resting on his thighs, eyes still closed. She sat down next to him on the couch and placed the package in his hands. "Okay. Open it!"

His eyes opened and he looked at the present for a second before turning his gaze to her. "What's this?"

Jude rolled her eyes. "Come on…just open it. I saw it the other day and I had to get it for you." She was practically jumping up and down on the couch cushion she was so excited to give it to him.

"You shouldn't have," he told her, even as he tore into the wrapping paper. His eyes crinkled at the corners and a smile spread across his whole face when he saw the gift. "Zoolander?"

Jude nodded, her grin matching his. "I had to get it. It reminded me of that day I made you play hooky from the studio and forced you to go watch it at that crappy cheap theater with me. We quoted that movie for months."

"I remember," he chuckled. "We used to see who could do a better 'Magnum'. You couldn't get through a take without laughing."

Jude hit his chest with the back of her hand. "That was your fault. You were the one making the face." She grabbed the DVD from his hands and flipped it over to the back. "And here's the best part…ta dah…it's PG-13, officially not a kiddie movie."

Tommy laughed and then stared down at the movie, his expression serious again.

"You don't like it?" she asked, worried that maybe the movie hadn't been a good idea. 

He put his hand over hers before she could withdraw. "No, Jude. It's great," he smiled, his eyes doing that cute crinkly thing again. "In fact, why don't you stay and watch it with me. I'll make popcorn and we can hang out. We'll see if your 'magnum' face has improved."

"I'd love to, if you're sure." She didn't want him to feel obligated.

"Of course, I'm sure." He stood up and pulled her off the couch with him. "I may even have some M & M's around here, hidden away from the boys. You can do that weird thing you like to do with chocolate and popcorn."

YYYYYYYYYYYYYY

The movie break provided a nice distraction for Tommy. Jude was good company and they both laughed and joked around through the whole thing, even breaking into a popcorn fight at one point. He walked her to her car when it was over and made sure she got it started. He almost told her to call him when she got home, but held his tongue. He had to remember that she was an adult and not the wide-eyed ingénue of six years ago.

Tonight he'd definitely seen a side of her that he couldn't reconcile with the girl he'd known. When she'd been sitting in the rocking chair, holding Noah and singing, he'd gotten a glimpse of the woman she'd become. A woman with a huge heart that she'd opened up to his kids. Her lullaby for them had blown him away, and not just because it was a good song, but because it revealed how much she'd gotten to know and care about Noah and Brady over the last few weeks. And it pained him, like a fist squeezing his heart, to know that the love and attention that Jude gave to them so freely was more than they'd ever gotten from Angie, their own mother.

Usually he didn't think about it, about Angie, but she was haunting him that night. Not because he missed her or wanted them all to be a family again but because someday he'd have to explain to Brady and Noah why they didn't have a mother and he had no idea what he'd say. Noah might not care much considering he'd been little more than three months old when Angie left. Brady might not either, for that matter. Angie hadn't been a very maternal presence in her oldest child's life either. 

He tried to remind himself that the past wasn't important. The boys knew they were loved and having Jude in their lives now was an added bonus. Tommy only hoped that things would stay the way they were, stable and uncomplicated. He had to keep it that way, even though sometimes it was easy to get caught up in the moment. Old feelings were always there, underneath the surface, threatening to emerge. He'd managed to hold it together before, barely, and he could do it again. He just had to hold himself back, keep things between he and Jude light and friendly.

Damn, but that was hard. It wasn't just the way she treated the boys that was so attractive. It was everything about her, her infectious smile and laughter, the way she cared about her family and her friends. Tommy had been more than touched by her present for him. The movie, the distraction of it, had been just what he'd needed and Jude always seemed to know those things about him. And, god, she was beautiful, especially her eyes, because he could read all of her emotions through them.

He needed to be careful, though. He was walking a thin line, one that he didn't dare cross without jeopardizing the balance of his world, a world that involved more than just him. He had to do what was best for his sons and that meant Jude as a friend and a caregiver for the boys. It couldn't be more, even if it killed him.


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5  
_  
I want to paint my face  
And pretend that I am someone else  
Sometimes I get so fed up  
I don't even want to look at myself_

But people have problems that are worse than mine  
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time  
And I hate the way you look at me I have to say  
I wish I could start over

I am slowly falling apart  
I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start  
You might think it's easy being me  
You just stand still, look pretty

Sometimes I find myself shaking  
In the middle of the night  
And then it hits me and I can't  
Even believe this is my life

But people have problems that are worse than mine  
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time  
And I wish that everyone would go and shut their mouths  
I'm not strong enough to deal with it

I am slowly falling apart  
I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start  
You might think it's easy being me  
You just stand still, look pretty

He'd listened to the song on repeat for the last half hour. It was yet another one that he didn't understand. It was so different than the Jude that he'd known, like she'd been in a dark place, her world spiraling out of control. It wasn't even close to the woman she was now. She seemed so centered, so sure of her life right now. It was clear that something bad had happened. His first thought was to relate the song to her mom getting sick, but his gut instinct was that it was about something else. The possibilities were mind-boggling. Her other song, "Fallen" made him think that it was about something she'd done, but he couldn't imagine Jude ever doing anything terrible enough to warrant this kind of emotional heartbreak.

"You taking a break anytime soon?" Kwest's voice startled him and Tommy looked up to see his friend standing in the doorway.

Tommy rubbed a hand over his face and expelled a deep breath. "Yeah…just…" his voice trailed off.

"Listening to Jude's songs on repeat?"

He nodded.

Kwest eyed him for a beat before entering the office more fully and taking a seat in the free chair. "Is there a reason you're so obsessed with Jude's music?"

"If I tell you, you'll have to tell your wife, who will tell her sister and I really don't want this getting back to Jude until I talk with her first," Tommy told him.

"Well, that explains nothing. But if it will keep me out of trouble with Sadie, then by all means, keep it a secret."

At that, Tommy cracked a grin. 

"So what's up man?" He really hadn't had a whole lot of time to spend with his friend, other than work. 

Kwest shrugged. "Not much. Sadie wants me to invite you and the boys over for dinner. She thinks Marissa and Noah will hit it off." He shook his head and smirked. "I think somehow she's got it in her head that at least one Harrison woman will hook up with a Quincy."

The words immediately conjured thoughts of Jude and Tommy tried to push them aside. There would be no hooking up with a Harrison woman. "Just tell me when and we'll be there. Although make sure your daughter keeps her hands to herself. I know us Quincy's are irresistible but…"

His words trailed off as Kwest snorted. "How do you get your ego to fit in a room with other people?"

"It's a gift," Tommy replied.

"Alright, well, I'll tell Sadie to set it up. Just to warn you, though, Jude will probably be invited too."

"Why do you have to warn me about Jude? I see her every day, it's not really a big deal." 

"Maybe not to either of you, but I'm telling you, Sadie is determined to be related to Little Tommy Q in some way, shape or form," Kwest explained.

"You're wife is nuts. Maybe I won't be able to make dinner then."

"So bring a date, cut her off at the pass before she can try any match-making hoodoo," Kwest suggested.

That caught Tommy off guard. He hadn't thought about dating anyone in a long time. Certainly not since he'd been back. There just wasn't time for that. Plus, he wasn't sure how his dating would affect the boys. 

An image of Jude flashed in his mind again.

"Will, uh, Jude have a date?" He was playing with a pen now, fidgeting as he waited for Kwest's answer, unable to look his friend in the eye.

"Nope. We can barely get her to show up on her own, let alone if she brought someone with her. Besides, she's at your place so much I doubt she has time."

Tommy knew that he should feel bad about occupying so much of Jude's time. Really, it wasn't fair of him, but a small part of him, one that he didn't want to acknowledge, was relieved that she didn't have time to do anything else, or anyone for that matter.

Kwest stuck around to talk about the new Instant Star's album progress. "You know, we're not as far as D would like us to be," he commented.

Tommy sighed. "Yeah. I know. D's been very clear that he wants the album out before this summer. The problem is we don't have a whole lot of song options right now. Especially when Colby is being so insistent that she have a hand in writing each song."

Colby Connor was the new Instant Star. She was 18 yrs old and interested in being the next Britney Spears, minus the head-shaving drama. She had the 'whole package' as Darius liked to say. She could sing, she could dance, and she was gorgeous. But she was also difficult to work with. Tommy wasn't sure how they were going to get through the album. Every song they suggested she managed to find something wrong with. Darius had finally had a friendly 'chat' with the girl and reminded her that she'd signed a contract and if he wanted her to sing something, she would do it. That had worked for all of a week. 

"Maybe we can do something with one of Jude's songs," Kwest suggested. "You've got the entire library at your disposal. I'm sure we could work something out."

"I don't know…" Tommy had thought the same thing, but after listening to the songs, he wasn't sure. "We'd have to change it up. Honestly… some of them are very…well, they're kind of sad."

Understanding dawned on Kwest's face. "She's always used music to work through the things going on in her life."

"I know. And knowing that is what makes it hard to listen to some of this stuff," Tommy confessed. "There's some…well, there are a few song that I would never in a million years guess Jude was capable of writing."

"I can't even begin to know what the girl was going through," Kwest admitted. "I do know that she got kind of introverted for awhile, especially after her mom died. Even Sadie couldn't talk to her."

"That's just it; some of the really emotional stuff is from before that."

Now Kwest looked as confused as Tommy felt. 

They were both silent, unsure what to say. 

"That aside, maybe we could see about bringing Jude in to work with Colby. She might be able to help with some of the song writing," Kwest finally said.

"I've tried bringing up a return to G-Major to her, but she's pretty against it. I don't know if this would be any different. Maybe if we use it as a last resort. Call in every favor she's ever owed us," Tommy suggested.

Kwest laughed. "You might have a hard time with that, Quincy. I'm pretty sure you're the one that owes her."

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Jude wasn't used to her cell phone ringing before nine am. It used to be later, but being an adult sucked and so she was lucky to sleep until ten am on the days she didn't have a morning class. She'd been looking forward to sleeping in that morning, had, in fact, not planned on getting up until after eleven am. Her classes for the day were canceled so she'd taken advantage of the extra time to stay up late and work on a few new songs.

So when her cell phone started ringing at 7:30 that morning, she was less than thrilled. For a moment she even contemplated throwing the damn phone against the wall. Before she could do that, her sleep addled brain recognized the ringtone as Justin Timberlake's "Sexyback" and her eyes popped open. That was Tommy's ringer, as chosen by her sister the jokester when he'd made his return to Toronto. It had involved a fairly detailed and lengthy debate on whether Tommy could have been the Canadian Justin Timberlake had he chosen to continue his career.

What the hell was he doing calling so early?

She finally managed to grab the offensive object and flipped it open to answer. 

"Tommy?"

"Jude? Sorry to call so early," he paused. "Did I wake you up?"

"Do I really need to answer that question?" she mused on a partial yawn. She held the phone to her ear while her other hand covered her eyes to block out the sun.

"I have an emergency," he explained.

"I'm listening."

"Today is supposed to be Mrs. Du Tois' day off. She's been planning it for weeks and originally I asked Darius if I could just come in to the studio in the afternoon after you got to the house," his voice sounded mildly panicked as he continued. "I know you said something about not having class today, so I was hoping that maybe you could watch the boys for me? I wouldn't ask except that Darius called this morning and informed me that he's bringing in the executive board for a meet and greet and they want me there."

"Why are you the only person that still calls her Mrs. Du Tois? She told me to call her Aunt Faye weeks ago," Jude asked him, her voice muffled as she yawned again.

"I don't know. Wait…. She has you call her…?" She could almost see him shaking his head in exasperation. "Not the point of this conversation, Jude," he said irritably.

"Geez, Tommy. Don't be so grumpy. You're the one who woke me up. Just relax, all right? I'll be at your place in less than a half hour. Is that going to be okay?" she asked as she sat up in bed.

"Yes. See you then." He didn't say goodbye, he just hung up.

He was probably pissed at her, but she right then she didn't care. She'd really been looking forward to her day off. It wasn't that she minded watching the boys; it was just that breaks were nice too. And Tommy, the jerk, hadn't even said Thank You. He'd just been crabby on the phone.

Hurrying as quickly as her sleep deprived body would allow, Jude got ready and drove over to Tommy's. When she got there, Tommy rushed around telling the boys goodbye and barking out instructions to Jude. He tossed the keys to the Escalade to her and told her to make sure Brady made it to pre-school by 12:30pm. Again, no thank you or goodbye, just a glimpse of his very nice ass in dress pants as he rushed out the door.

She smirked when she saw him pull the Viper from the garage. He was definitely out to impress the big-wigs.

Jude turned to the boys, both still in their pajamas. Noah clutched his stuffed puppy 'woofy' in his arms. As he yawned, Jude smiled sympathetically. "I know exactly how you feel, buddy." She scooped him up in her arms and head towards the kitchen. She supposed today was a good day to test her pancake making skills.

To her great dismay, the kitchen cupboards and refrigerator were pretty bare. There was a little bit of milk left and some instant pancake mix to make breakfast with, but otherwise there wasn't much of anything. She hadn't realized the food situation was this sparse. Usually when she got to the house in the afternoons there was a casserole or pot roast or some other meal waiting with final preparation instructions. Aunt Faye either didn't think Jude was a very good cook on her own or she was just trying to look out for the Quincy men. She liked to think it was the latter.

After scrounging up the ingredients, she set about making letter shaped pancakes. It took several tries before she ended up with anything even remotely resembling a B or N, but the boys didn't seem to care. As long as it was gooey and sticky with syrup they were happy.

She watched them eat, smearing syrup and butter everywhere. Brady was being particularly talkative, telling her all about the Lego castle Tommy had helped them build the night before. When they finally finished eating, she hustled them into the bathroom and wiped them off before chasing them into their bedroom.

"What do you want to wear today?" she asked as she searched for their clothes. What she found was a large pile of laundry that hadn't been done. She was starting to wonder if Mrs. Du Tois was doing more than just taking care of the boys. Not that Tommy wasn't capable, but he'd been pretty busy, so the only way any of that stuff, i.e. grocery shopping and laundry, could be getting done was if she took care of it. 

Jude debated whether she should go ahead and start the laundry. The boys were both standing there, Noah in his pull-up, Brady in his Spiderman underwear and nothing else. She realized that she didn't have much choice. As it was they were going to be very mismatched as far as clothing went.

Once the boys were dressed, albeit haphazardly, she let them go play for a few minutes while she started a load of their clothes. A basket of Tommy's clothes was sitting in the laundry room. For all of five seconds she'd resigned herself to doing his laundry as well, but changed her mind. He'd been a butt-head that morning and she wasn't about go out of her way anymore than she already had.

Laundry started, she got the boys' coats and bribed them with promises of candy to get them in the Escalade and to the grocery store. Jude was surprised by how smoothly things went once they got there. She knew what the boys liked and she had a pretty good idea about Tommy's preferences. She tried not to let the boys have too much say, but a person would have to be made of stone not to react and give into their adorable pleading eyes. They didn't cry, but the quivering lip act was very effective, so the cart did have a variety of superhero snacks and marshmallow cereals. 

The boys also stayed put in the cart until it got too full and Brady was forced to walk next to Jude, holding her hand, while Noah sat in the front part. 

At the checkout stand, the cashier, who reminded Jude a lot of her grandmother, occupied the boys' attention until the cart was unloaded. Brady and Noah were both being silly and showing off. Jude tried not to laugh, but Noah, who was probably the shyest of the two, was holding out the 'motorcycle dude' that she'd let him bring inside and was telling the cashier that he was a 'bad guy' and 'beary mean'.

"They're so precious," the woman told Jude with smile.

Jude returned the smile and couldn't help but glance affectionately at the two, who were now crashing their motorcycle men together and imitating impact noises. "They are definitely that," she agreed.

"How old are they?"

"Oh, Brady's going to be five soon and then Noah will be three in September," Jude answered.

"Well, you just enjoy the time you have with them," the woman advised Jude. Then she turned to the boys. "You two cuties be good for your mommy."

Jude started to protest, to tell the woman that she was only the babysitter, but decided to let it go and merely offered a crooked smile. It didn't seem worth the awkwardness to explain. Instead she focused on maneuvering the shopping cart and the boys out to the parking lot.

As she was strapping Braden into his car seat, he turned his curious baby blue gaze on her. "Jude, is you my mommy?"

At first she was startled by the question. How do you answer something like that? Obviously she wasn't his mother, but she was surprised that Brady didn't seem to remember Angie.

She kissed Braden's forehead and brushed his dark hair back from his face. "No, baby. I'm not your mommy." Her mind briefly filled in the words 'but I wish I was'. Jude stilled at the thought, not sure where it had come from. She quickly pushed it back into the recesses of her mind.

"Do I haf a mommy?" he asked.

This was the kind of conversation Tommy needed to be fielding and she was definitely going to have to talk to him about this.

"What you've got," Jude explained as she straightened his seat belt, "is the best Daddy in the world. And Me. I'm you're favorite, right?" She tickled his tummy and he giggled. Noah looked on with his own smiling face and demanded that he be tickled next.

Driving through the Toronto streets to the Quincy house, Jude felt a weird knawing in the pit of her stomach. If Brady's question bothered her, she couldn't imagine what it would do to Tommy. Although he knew better than anyone what had happened to Angie, so maybe he'd be able to explain.

At the house she unloaded the boys and gave them instructions to play until it was lunchtime while she brought in and unpacked the groceries. She had just shoved the last box of cereal into the now full cupboards when she heard a cross between a yell and a scream coming from the toy room. At first she assumed the boys were probably fighting. It was something they did a lot when it came to their toys. But as she made her way to check on them, Brady came sprinting down the hallway, eyes wide.

"Jude, Noah frew up," the four year-old exclaimed.

Jude's own eyes grew wide and she fought the urge to gag. Okay, so this was the part of babysitting that she didn't do so well with.

Her hesitation was cut short when she heard heart-wrenching sobs coming from the toy room.

Noah.

She quickly forgot about gagging and went to him. He was crying almost inconsolably, clearly not feeling well. Jude pulled him into her arms, not heeding the mess, and stroked his hair as she tried to comfort him.

"Does your tummy hurt, baby?" she asked softly.

He nodded, a garbled "huwrt" coming from his lips between his broken sobs. She felt so bad she wanted to cry with him.

He started to get sick again and Jude's first instinct was to rush him to the bathroom but she quickly realized that trying to get a two year old to throw up into the toilet wasn't going to work, so instead she grabbed a towel and made herself as comfortable as possible on the floor while she held him.

After a few minutes Noah started to settle down and his tears subsided. Jude felt his forehead and thought that he might be a little warm.

"Jude?" Braden's little voice filtered in from the hallway. "Is Noah sick?"

"Yeah, he is, buddy. Can you do me a big favor?"

His face appeared in the open bathroom door, hesitantly looking inside as he nodded.

"Can you go downstairs and find my cell phone? It's in my book bag."

He nodded again and ran off. 

Jude shifted her position, still holding Noah, and started the bath water. She needed to get him cleaned up, take his temperature, and call Tommy and possibly the doctor. Not to mention clean up the mess in the toy room and keep an eye on Brady because it was entirely possible that if Noah was sick then Brady wouldn't be far behind.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Tommy didn't get Jude's message until almost two hours after she called and he practically raced home. He felt terrible. Not just that Noah was sick, but because he'd been a jerk to Jude that morning, and he was pretty sure he'd detected some mild panic in her voice message.

He didn't even pull the Viper into the garage when he got home; he just raced into the house. He expected to encounter chaos, instead he found Braden sleepily watching 'Finding Nemo' on the couch.

Tommy walked over to his oldest son and crouched down beside him. "Hey, buddy, you doing okay?" Tommy asked softly. He put his hand on Braden's forehead to check for sign of a fever. Jude had expressed some concern that both boys might end up sick, but aside from being almost asleep, Braden seemed fine.

Braden looked away from the TV. His eyes got big. "Daddy, Noah's sick. He frowed up all over our Lego's and then on Jude."

Tommy winced. That couldn't be good.

"Where's Jude now?"

"She's rockin' Noah. She put a movie on an' axed me to be a good boy, so I's being real good," he told his father proudly.

Tommy kissed his forehead and smiled. "You are. Finish watching the movie. I'm going to go find Jude."

Braden didn't need to be told twice and his eyes quickly darted back to the TV.

Tommy found Jude in the boys' room. Noah, wearing just a diaper, was curled up in her arms and Tommy could make out soft humming."

"Hey," he said gently, his voice quiet.

Jude's eyes flew up to meet his and he saw relief flash across her face. "You're home."

He nodded. "I came as soon as I got the message."

"Thanks. I'm sorry I called you out of your meet and greet but I was sort of panicking," she explained apologetically.

"I could tell. How is he?" He nodded toward Noah who slept with his hand clutching Jude's shirt. Scratch that. The little fist had a tight hold of the front of one of Tommy's t-shirts.

"He's better. I have to admit that I was kind of worried at first. I managed to get him cleaned up and then I called you and the doctor. The nurse at the office told me that there was a stomach bug going around, but she said it was a short-lived one. Noah settled down about an hour ago. He was sleeping so I got the toy room cleaned up. The Legos are…uhm; they're soaking in the bathroom sink to be cleaned. I tried to clean the carpet, but that might need a little more work and oh…yeah, I sort of borrowed a shirt from you. My clothes got a little dirty," she stopped and took a deep breath. "So yeah…"

Tommy tilted his head to the side as he took in her appearance. She looked a little ragged after her experience. "Jude, I don't know what to say…"

She shrugged him off. "Don't say anything. I'm just glad that he's doing better. He was crying earlier and it just about broke my heart."

Tommy's own heart was a little unsteady as she spoke, although the why of it was uncertain. He was just relieved that Noah was okay. He'd definitely been worried. 

He cleared away the lump in his throat. "Do you want me to take over?" he asked and started to reach for Noah. He'd barely shifted his son into his arms when the little boy started to whimper and reach out for Jude, his fingers still fisted in the shirt.

Jude stopped Tommy. "It's okay. I can hold him for a while. Maybe you could check on Brady, make sure he's still okay. I put in a video and gave him some juice and crackers, but not any lunch. I wasn't sure if he'd end up sick," she explained. "Oh, I almost forgot, can you run to the grocery store and get some more diapers? There's a few other things on the list too, stuff I forgot this morning and a few things the nurse suggested to prevent dehydration."

Tommy nodded and told her he'd go get the stuff. Then he went to change his clothes before checking on Brady again. The little boy was asleep when he went over to him. Tommy felt his forehead again. It was a little warm this time and he figured his oldest would probably be sick before the evening was over.

He decided to take advantage of the time and run to the grocery store. The list was pretty short and he didn't think it would take him long to run in and grab everything. But he was wrong. He ended up stuck in the medicine aisle, looking for something called "Pedialyte". He was really out of his league here. He'd been fortunate enough in the past that boys had only ever gotten colds and even then he'd run them to the doctor right away. He was ashamed to say that he took advantage of the nurses that felt sorry for him because he was a single dad. He'd had more than enough help and advice, but he'd never had to do anything more than take a temperature or give them some cough medicine. This…this was a different kind of ballgame.

He started blankly at the list. He didn't see what he was looking for. He was about to break down and call Jude when an older woman, wearing a cashier's smock walked by. She looked sort of grandmotherly and when she smiled at him he stopped her.

"I don't suppose you'd have a second to help me?" he asked, giving her his best pleading expression.

"Of course, what do you need?" 

Tommy almost sagged with relief. He handed her the list. "I've got two sick boys at home and that's a list of things that I'm supposed to pick up. Some stuff the nurse said they'd need. They've got some kind of stomach flu," he explained and watched as she squinted at the paper.

She lifted her glasses and tried to hold the paper away from her, as if she'd be able to read it better. 

"Uh, sorry. Jude's handwriting isn't the greatest. Sometimes I wonder if _she_ can even read it."

The woman chuckled. "Don't worry. You're wife's got more things to worry about than bad handwriting right now."

Tommy started to correct her, but didn't get the chance as the woman took the list and started to move out of the aisle. He grabbed the cart and followed her as quickly as possible. In record time, she grabbed everything off the list and then snuck him up to a closed register to ring him so he wouldn't have to wait in line.

As he pulled out his wallet to pay, a photo of Brady and Noah fell out onto the belt. The woman picked it up and glanced at it as she handed it back to him. "Those two cuties look familiar," she told him. "I'm sorry they're sick. Your wife was in here earlier today getting groceries and they were complete charmers," she commented. "Looks like they take after their daddy."

Tommy blinked and blushed at the same time. "Uh thanks."

The woman's words reminded him of something Jude had said earlier and another attack of guilt assailed him. He'd been putting off a trip to the grocery store and Jude had probably gotten fed up and decided to take care of it herself. Man, he needed to get his act together. He couldn't rely on Jude for everything. Kwest had been right when he'd joked that Tommy owed Jude more favors than any of them could count.

When he got back to the house, Brady was still asleep on the couch. He left the new grocery stuff in the kitchen and went to find Jude. 

She was in the bathroom, standing at the sink, a pile of wet Legos on the counter next to her. He resisted his inclination to watch her from the doorway. He did it a lot and knew that it annoyed her.

"Hey, I got the stuff," he told her as he stepped into the bathroom. 

She glanced sideways at him, rinsing off the Legos in her hands. "Good. I'm sure it will help. Noah got sick again while you were gone. I had him sip on some 7-UP and then he went back to sleep," she told him. She tossed the last of the Legos onto the pile and turned to face Tommy more fully.

Her hair was pulled back in a tangled, messy ponytail and the shirt she'd borrowed from him was several sizes too large. Bare legs peaked out beneath the hem and Tommy had to force his gaze back up to Jude's face. Now was not the time to be thinking lustful thoughts about her, not when she'd spent the better part of the day taking care of his sick child.

"I'm doing some laundry," she added. "I started it this morning because the boys were running out of clothes. I've got some dirty towels and my clothes in there now," she explained as she leaned back against the sink.

He groaned inwardly. Laundry…he'd forgotten all about the laundry. "Jude, thank you so much, for everything…the laundry, the groceries…I…"

"Oh, I almost forgot about that. There wasn't anything for lunch and so I just figured we could take care of that and…shit!" She stopped and looked at him apologetically. "I completely forgot about Brady's pre-school. I didn't even call."

She looked genuinely upset, her eyes started to tear up and Tommy instinctively reached out and pulled her into a hug. He rubbed her back. "Hey, it's okay. You took care of everything else, way better than I could have," he assured her, his voice soothing. "Don't worry about it."

She nodded against his chest, but didn't pull away. He could imagine that she was sort of wrung out after everything that had happened in the last few hours. Kids were completely helpless when it came to being sick and it was a lot to deal with. Hell, he couldn't have done nearly as good a job. He probably would have ended up calling Jude for help. 

As he held her, his hands rubbing her back, he couldn't help but think that it felt good to have her in his arms. It had been a long time since he'd held anyone like this, but it wasn't just the holding, it was the connection he felt. The sort of link that he'd only ever experienced with Jude. They used to hug all the time when he was her producer. When she finished her first album, she'd practically strangled him with her hold and he'd swung her around as she planted a kiss on his cheek that had left the strangest tingling sensation in its wake. Or the time when her parents had split and he hadn't been able to do anything but hold her while she cried. This hug reminded him of that, and yet it was it was different, somehow…. more.

She shifted in his arms and pulled back, her head tilted toward his. Her lips parted and he felt himself magnetically drawn to her, his own lips being pulled to hers. Their noses were almost touching. He could feel her breath on his skin and he wanted to close the gap between them, to kiss her like he had that night three years ago.

Their lips barely brushed together when a loud wail came from the living room. Jude and Tommy jerked apart. They hesitated briefly before rushing out of the bathroom. 

Tommy reached Brady first.

"My tummy hurts," the little boy sniffled. 

"I know, buddy." Tommy went to pick him up but Brady shook his head.

"Jude hold me."

Tommy's emotions were mixed at his son's request. It was odd to have Brady ask for anyone but him. But as he looked at Jude kneeling down next to him, he certainly understood the preference. She was brushing Brady's hair away from his sweaty forehead, comforting him with soft words. Again, Tommy's heart twisted in his chest as he watched them interact. There was something about Jude that the boys instinctively responded to, something that he completely identified with, even if he did try to ignore it most of the time. Although he certainly hadn't been ignoring it a moment ago.

Three hours later, Brady was starting to get better. He was done emptying his stomach and was sitting on Tommy's lap sipping on the juice Tommy had gotten earlier. Noah had woken up and wanted nothing more than to be held, so Jude had him in her lap on the couch, but he'd gone to sleep again while they were watching cartoons.

Tommy glanced over at Jude and noticed that her cheeks were pale and she looked tired. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, but didn't meet his gaze. "I'm…uh, starting to feel a little tired," she said. She glanced down at Noah and moved him so that he was lying on the couch. "I think I might head home, if that's okay?"

He wanted to tell her to stay, but he only nodded. "Yeah, sure. I shouldn't have kept you here so long."

She was still in his t-shirt, though she'd pulled on her jeans from earlier when they'd finished in the drier. She'd also managed to sort and fold all of the clothes she'd washed for them earlier. She probably was tired; it had definitely been a full day. He tried not to read anything into the fact that she seemed to be avoiding him. She wasn't. Besides, it's not like anything had really happened for her to avoid.

Even so, he laid Braden on the other end of the couch and got up with Jude. She grabbed her bag and mumbled a soft goodbye before Tommy had a chance to say anything else. He rubbed his hands over his face, chastising himself for earlier in the bathroom. He really knew how to screw things up.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Jude felt terrible. She couldn't remember another time when she'd felt so sick. The night before, at Tommy's, she'd been sitting on the couch, over-analyzing what had almost happened in the bathroom, when all of the sudden she'd felt sort of dizzy and woozy. She'd known then she was in for it and barely made it home before getting sick herself. 

She really felt sorry for the boys now if they'd felt this bad. The only difference was that she didn't seem to be getting over it very fast. She'd barely slept the whole night and now, it was almost noon and she was still nauseous. 

She'd called Tommy and left a message with him that morning to explain that she wasn't feeling well, had in fact caught the boys' stomach flu. Now all she could do was lay on her couch, watching bad soap operas while she waited to get better.

Jude didn't get sick very often and because of that she was usually a big baby about it. Her mom had always let her get away with it, too. She would get movies and make Jude special toast. She'd even make sure the 7-Up never got warm. After her mom had gotten sick and was going through chemo, Jude had tried to do the same thing and baby her mother. 

Now, there was no one to baby anyone. She was alone in her apartment, without any food, because she'd been eating at Tommy's and no cold 7-UP to be found. It was depressing and only made her feel even more miserable than she already was. 

Mid-afternoon she fell asleep in front of the TV. She had stopped answering her phone that morning, not wanting to deal with anyone. She was too drained. She ached all over from throwing up, using muscles she didn't know she had and her head was pounding. If she could sleep maybe it would all go away.

She didn't know how long she'd been asleep when she started to hear things. She didn't want to open her eyes because she was pretty sure she was hallucinating, a definite sign that she wasn't getting any better and that her fever had returned.

She groaned, and the whispers around her got louder.

"Shshh…boys, she's sleeping. You've got to be quiet," a low voice said.

"Daddy, is she sick? Did Jude haf to frow up like we did?" a little voice asked.

If Jude didn't know any better, she'd think she was at Tommy's. But she was pretty sure she'd made it back to her place the night before. Very slowly she opened her eyes. She blinked as she saw the three Quincy men working quietly in her kitchen. Noah was perched on the breakfast bar, his back to Jude. Brady was sitting next to him, peering at Tommy. Jude couldn't see what he was doing.

"How did you guys get in?" she asked, voice groggy as she tried to sit up.

Tommy's head snapped up and for a split second he looked guilty and then concerned.

"Hey. We…uh…didn't mean to wake you. I just wanted to check on you." He helped the boys down off the cupboard and walked out of the kitchen toward the couch. He set a can of soda in front of Jude along with a plate of dry toast.

"You brought me 7-UP?" she asked. She was oddly touched by the gesture and could feel herself getting emotional. She quickly swiped at the tears that built up in her eyes, not wanting them to escape. 

"I hate being sick," she sniffled. "I'm such a big baby."

Tommy's sympathetic gaze wasn't helping Jude's precarious emotional state. Even Noah and Brady looked worried. Brady walked over to the couch and put his hand on Jude's forehead, brushing her hair back from her face like she'd done for him. "We will make you feel better Jude," he told her.

Jude's tears could be held at bay no longer. The small gesture undid her. Tommy looked startled and moved to sit next to her on the couch. She burrowed her head into his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.

"Hey, it's okay," he tried to comfort her.

She nodded but said nothing as her tears became sniffles. "I'm sorry. I'm a terrible sick person. My mom used to always take care of me, but now I've just been sitting here all alone, miserable and thinking about how there's no one around to take care of me now."

Noah crawled up onto the couch and leaned over Tommy's shoulder to look at Jude. "Jude, I all bettewr now," he told her. "Don crwy."

She let out a weak laugh. "You're right, Jude won't cry anymore," she told him and moved away from Tommy. She wiped her eyes and nervously tried to smooth her messy hair. She probably looked like a monster. 

"Are you feeling better?" Tommy asked. "I was worried about you when I got your message. You didn't sound good."

"I haven't been able to eat anything," she admitted.

Tommy snorted derisively. "Probably because you don't have any food here. You need to take better care of yourself," he chided. 

Jude would have taken offense, but she was too tired and instead she ignored him.

"We gots movies," Brady informed her.

"Really? What did you get?" Jude asked.

Brady ran over to a book bag that was on top of the breakfast bar and pulled it down.

"Careful," Tommy instructed and started to get up to help him.

"I got it!" Brady insisted as he brought it over to Jude. She helped him open the zipper and he dug in and got out two movies.

"Night at the Museum and," Jude straightened Braden's waving hands as she read the other. "The Princess Bride." She smiled. "How did you know that was my favorite?" she asked.

Braden beamed. "I said you would like it," he said proudly.

Tommy cleared his throat. "I think I helped too."

Braden nodded. "Yeah, daddy said the princess movie was your favowit."

Jude smiled at Tommy, once again touched that he'd remembered and gone to all the trouble. "Thanks for doing this," she told him.

He shrugged. "I owe you. It's the least I could do."

"Should we watch a movie?" Jude asked. She was feeling a little bit better now than she had earlier and she didn't mind having the company. Tommy got up and put the movie into the DVD player and made sure everyone was comfortable. While he was doing that, Braden and Noah took up his space on the couch, both wanting to be next to Jude.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

When Jude hadn't answered her phone that afternoon, Tommy got worried. He knew she was sick from the message she'd left, but he figured she should be over the worst of it. The boys were better by morning, both of them running around like the day before hadn't even happened.

Part of him wondered if she was ignoring him after the almost-kiss in the bathroom. But Jude wasn't like that; she didn't generally avoid confrontation. Or maybe she did now, he wasn't sure. That's why he'd decided that he needed to check on her. If she was still sick he could help take care of her, if she was avoiding him, he could try and talk things out, apologize for crossing the line.

He'd been a bit of a coward and brought the boys with him as back up, knowing that Jude wouldn't be able to resist them. The apartment hadn't been locked, something he needed to talk to her about, and so they'd gone in and found her asleep on the couch. His anxiety over her being angry with him quickly became concern when he saw how pale she was as she slept. He was glad he'd thought to bring over the soda and crackers and toast. He even stopped and picked up chicken noodle soup in case she felt like eating.

Now they were all sitting together, watching the movie. The boys were being particularly good and attentive, occasionally giggling as the dinosaurs and other museum artifacts came to life. Tommy glanced at Jude. She'd managed to sip at the soda and eat some of the toast, but she looked tired again and was having a hard time keeping her eyes open. It didn't take long before she gave in to sleep and her head nodded off to the side.

Tommy got up. He told the boys to stay put while he helped Jude to bed and then he hooked his arms underneath her limp frame and carried her to the bedroom. It was a small apartment so he didn't have trouble finding the room. He almost laughed when he saw the clothes all over the floor. There were papers littered everywhere too. He was more than a little intrigued by them when he caught a glimpse of a musical score. 

Jude's eyes opened briefly, but closed again as she snuggled into him with a sigh. He started to put her down and pull the messy sheets up over her when she stopped him. 

"Don't go." Her words were muffled with sleep and he almost didn't hear her. 

She turned on her side. "You're always leaving and then I miss you," she added, voice still sleepy. 

He stopped moving and looked down at her face. She looked relaxed and asleep, but she was holding onto his shirt. He was surprised by her words, wondering just what she meant by them.

"Just stay…for a minute," the words trailed off. 

She looked so fragile that he didn't think he could deny her request.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Sadie used the copy of the apartment key Jude gave her to let herself into her sister's apartment. She hadn't heard from Jude all day, but knew from Kwest, who knew from Tommy that Jude was sick with the flu bug that was going around.

Being the good older sister that she was, Sadie decided she'd better stop in to check on Jude, make sure she was doing okay. She was expecting to find her curled in a ball on the couch, watching bad TV. Which is why Sadie was extremely surprised when she got into the apartment and saw Braden and Noah eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on the couch. To be accurate, they had tried to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and ended up smearing it all over the couch.

"What are you two doing here?" Sadie asked.

Brady looked up, startled by Sadie's voice, but quickly relaxed when he recognized her. "We came to help Jude feel bettewr."

"Oh, really? Did your daddy bring you?" Sadie really hoped that Tommy hadn't just dropped the boys off for Jude to watch. If he had he was going to get a serious verbal beating.

Noah nodded, jelly smeared all over his face. "We came ta see Jood."

"Where's daddy at now?" Sadie dropped her purse down into the empty chair and automatically tried to clean up the mess the boys had created. It was an automatic response she'd developed after Marissa was born.

"Him and Jude is sleepin." Brady informed her matter-of- factly.

Sadie arched a perfectly plucked eyebrow. "They're sleeping?" She didn't wait for an answer and quickly walked over to the partially closed bedroom door. She wasn't sure what she expected to find, but wasn't disappointed when she peaked into the room. 

Jude was asleep on the bed, looking scraggly and half-sick while Tommy lay next to her, spooning her as he slept. For a second, Sadie just watched them. She bit back a smile as she turned around to leave the room. This was an interesting development, one that she'd seen coming years ago, but had long since given up on. She'd definitely have to quiz Jude on why Tommy was in bed with her. Even though Jude's answer would be innocent, Sadie had a feeling there was more going on than either Jude or Tommy would admit. But she wasn't above a little matchmaking to move things along.


	6. Chapter 6

Part 6

"You didn't RSVP for dinner," Sadie voiced impatiently when Jude answered her phone.

"Hello to you too," Jude responded, rolling her eyes as she sank onto her couch. It was the Friday after the great flu incident and she was finally starting to feel back to normal.

She'd just gotten home from Tommy's after a fairly short afternoon of babysitting. He'd shown up at home claiming he wanted to start the weekend early. Jude had been surprised, but understood the feeling. Of course then she'd stood there, staring dumbly and hoping he'd invite her to stick around for the evening. But he hadn't, so she'd made up an excuse about having lots of homework. Which was a lie. There was no homework, just a completely free Friday night.

"I'm just making sure you're still coming to dinner tomorrow night. I left you three voice messages and you didn't respond to any of them," Sadie chastised.

"That's because you didn't ask, you just demanded," Jude countered.

Sadie's exasperated sigh echoed through the phone and Jude bit back a laugh.

"Are you going to come or not?"

"Calm down, Sadie. Of course I'm going to come. I haven't had family night with you guys in a long time. It will be a nice change of pace," she told her. Jude was actually kind of looking forward to it. She hadn't been able to spend any time with her sister and niece in a while.

"Good. Be here no later than 6:30pm. And try to wear something nice," Sadie instructed.

"Why would my clothes matter…? Oh, no. Sades…if this is one of your stupid matchmaking dinners, I'm not coming," Jude protested. "The last time you tried to set me up it was with that guy everyone called Sleazy Bobby."

"I didn't know that was his nickname," her sister said defensively. "He seemed perfectly nice when I met him."

"He put his hand on your ass in front of Kwest," Jude reminded her.

"Fine. This isn't a set up. I promise. There won't be any strangers present at dinner," she conceded.

"I'm not sure I believe you, but okay. I will see you tomorrow night." Jude hung up the phone and tossed it off to the side. 

The apartment was completely silent; a stark contrast to the constant hum of noise that filled the Quincy house. The boys were always talking and playing. Music was playing or a movie. Jude found she liked the buzz of the background noise. She'd gotten used to it and it made the silence of her place seem foreign.

Alone on a Friday night.

It wasn't exactly a new experience, but it had been several weeks since she'd gotten home this early. Usually Tommy worked later and then he always invited her to stick around and hang out with him. She would talk about her classes and in turn he filled her in on all the G-Major drama. Although, lately he'd been picking her brain for ideas to use for the latest Instant Star winner. Jude didn't mind those conversations. They were normal, certainly the kind of things one talked about with friends.

It was silly to be so disappointed that Tommy hadn't invited her to stay. In fact, it was probably better that he hadn't. As it was she'd become pretty entrenched in their family, sometimes making it hard to remember that she was the babysitter and just Tommy's friend. 

Although the almost-kiss from Monday was definitely more than friendly. Jude had tried really hard not to think about it, but the memory was there, taunting her. She tried to tell herself that he'd just been comforting her. It was a simple hug and their lips had almost, accidentally run into each other. She'd only been imagining the way his eyes had darkened as he looked into her face and that his hands had tightened on the small of her back, pulling her more firmly against him. And she hadn't responded to him either, hadn't tilted her face towards his, willing their lips to meet.

Nope. None of that had really happened. It had been a delusion brought on by the fever that had accompanied the flu.

She had to believe that because the alternative wasn't an option. She could not let herself fall for him again. There was too much between them and she needed to remember that he'd never really felt anything more than friendship for her. Even the friendship was debatable, considering the way he'd just walked away.

Pushing the thoughts aside, Jude got up from the couch and puttered around in the kitchen to make a snack. Two nights ago Tommy had sent home a bag full of groceries with her, claiming that if he didn't, she'd starve because he and the boys monopolized too much of her time for her to get groceries on her own.

She made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and settled back onto the couch. Tuesday night after she'd woken up, Tommy and the boys had been watching the Princess Bride. Or the boys had been watching it while Tommy tried to get the peanut butter and jelly wiped off the furniture. She still wasn't clear on how it had gotten there but Brady had explained that he made the sandwich himself, so that made sense.

The movie was still in the DVD player, so she turned the TV on and hit play, eager to watch the story of Princess Buttercup and her Wesley. The only problem was that it wasn't as fun to watch alone, and seeing the two characters so in love only reminded Jude that there was a distinct lack of anything of the sort in her life. With a groan she hit the TV off button on the remote. She ended up laying on the floor, feet propped up on the couch while she stared at the ceiling.

Good Lord, when had she become so boring? She was twenty-one years old. She should be out living it up; not on the floor counting cracks in the ceiling plaster. Maybe Sadie was right; maybe she needed to start dating again. Although to do that she'd have to actually go out and socialize; something she wasn't sure she remembered how to do.

The thought made her want to scream because it wasn't any use. Even the thought of dating anyone was disturbing when all she could do was fantasize about Tommy and what it would have felt like if that innocent lip brush had deepened into something more. She could almost feel his lips against hers, so close and yet so…

As the thought lingered in her mind she sat up, almost hitting her head on the coffee table as she tried to right herself. 

She needed to reign in her restless energy and the best way she knew to do that was to write a song. Maybe she'd be able to channel all of her mixed-up emotions about Tommy into something with actual potential.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Tommy knocked on the door to Darius' office, unable to hide his irritation. It was Saturday, his time to just chill out with the bys, maybe even watch a little hockey on TV. He wasn't particularly happy about the text message he'd received demanding his immediate presence at the studio.

He had to bring the boys with him, something he didn't like to do, but he'd refused to let himself call Jude. He was relying on her entirely too much, a fact that Sadie had drilled into him when she'd called to invite him and the boys over for dinner that night. So even though Jude was the first person he started to dial, he restrained himself. He'd been doing that around Jude a lot lately. Last night he'd gotten home from work early and he'd really wanted Jude to stick around, had been on the verge of suggesting they order Thai food when Sadie's words had come to mind. He needed to let her have her own life. For a second he'd felt guilty. Jude had seemed like she was waiting for something, but then she'd explained she had homework she needed to do and left.

He hadn't believed her about the homework, though. She'd told him many times that her classes weren't that demanding. He even thought he'd seen disappointment in her expression when she walked out the door, but that might have been wishful thinking on his part. As the night wore on he'd picked up his phone several times to call her, each time hanging up. He didn't have an excuse to call; he'd just wanted to hear her voice, talk to her a little. It was the kind of thing a person did when they were in a relationship, which they were not. They were friends and he needed to remember that and stop pushing her into his instant family.

Tommy looked across the lobby to where the boys were playing while he waited for Darius. Apparently D's daughter's nanny was on call and so she was watching Brady and Noah as per Darius' instructions. 

A muffled 'come in' came from the other side of the door. Tommy entered and found Darius practicing his martial art de jour on a mat in the middle of the room. "You beckoned?" he deadpanned as he walked in.

Darius stopped mid-move and turned to Tommy. "Nice of you to show up," he paused and reached for the bottle of water on his desk. "I had you come down here because there's some serious studio magic happening this morning," Darius explained.

"Colby's recording?" She was the only artist he was working with just then and Tommy was genuinely confused that she would be there. The schedule had her doing appearances all weekend with no time for recording.

"I meant magic of the Jude Harrison variety." Darius grinned, clearly pleased with that development.

"Jude's here?"

D nodded. "She showed up this morning with Kwest dragging ass behind her. He seemed disgruntled. Apparently she kidnapped him from his house. They went straight to the studio and she's been in there, laying down tracks and ordering Kwest around, pretty much producing the song herself. I called you in because you know her music better than anyone and I've got a feeling that we've got a hit on our hands. I want your input."

Tommy wasn't sure what to say, but he nodded and then gestured toward the door. "I'm gonna…"  
It took all of his will power to walk and not run to studio A. He opened the door quietly, not wanting to disturb anything. Kwest was sitting at the soundboard making level adjustments. Jude was on a stool in the booth, guitar in her hands, earphones in place with the mic right in front of her. Her gaze was intent on the music stand and she didn't look up to notice Tommy's added presence.

Kwest acknowledged him with a raised eyebrow but quickly turned his attention back to Jude. "Okay, Superstar. From the top with the new phrasing." 

She didn't watch for the cue. Her eyes were closed as she listened to the opening bars of the guitar track. He knew that she liked to feel what she was singing, to close her eyes and block out everything around her so that she was in the moment with the lyrics. This was no exception.

_Excuse me for this  
I just want a kiss  
I just want to know what it feels like to touch  
Something so pure  
Something I'm so sure of   
What it feels like to stand outside your door  
I'm unworthy  
I can see you're above me  
But I can be lovely given the chance_

Heat rushed through his blood stream, nerve endings sparked, leaving a trail of goose bumps in their wake. He sat, unable to move, as she sang. Her voice was throaty and rich, sexy in a way that almost undid him right then and there. He'd never heard her like this before and it was yet another facet of Jude that he didn't recognize from the girl that he'd once-upon-a-time produced. 

_Don't move  
I want to remember you just like this  
Don't move  
It's only a breath or two between our lips_

I know why you left  
I can't blame you myself  
Must be hard living with ghosts and such an empty shell  
I tried to warn you  
I've been a mess since you've known me  
I can't promise forever  
But I'm working on it  
If I can't hold you  
Can I give you a kiss  
Can I have a kiss

Tommy sucked in a sharp breath. This was not a coincidence. And as he heard the words his mind conjured a picture in his mind, one so vivid that all his senses were involved. He could still feel her in his arms, the way she'd burrowed her head against his chest. She'd felt the way he always knew she would, soft and warm, like she was meant to be held by him. And he could still smell the subtle sexiness of her perfume from when his nose had grazed against her silky blonde hair. He could see her looking up at him, eyes reflecting the hunger that pulsed through his veins. The song brought the image to life again, made him relive that brief moment and stirred long buried desire. He wanted to give in, give her even more than she was asking. Not just any kiss but the kind of kiss that started with her mouth and didn't end until his lips had caressed and adored every inch of her.

_I see that you're torn  
I've got some scars of my own  
Seems I want what I know is gonna leave me hungry_

Don't move  
I need to remember you just like this

He could hear the longing and frustration in every word, every note. He could feel the tension of it, the way she sang about wanting something that was out of reach. The lyrics spoke to him, told him he wasn't alone in his silent frustration, in the unmerciful torture of wanting something that had the potential to destroy those it touched.

_All I have  
All I can give to you I will  
Just promise this  
If I can't have forever  
Can I have a kiss_

And that was it, the bottom line. It was the reason he'd left before; it was why he kept her at arm's length now. Because she, out of all the others that had come in and out of his life, could turn his world upside down. She was so young, but she got to him in a way that no one else ever had. If he gave in, if he let her into his life and it didn't work, he'd be destroyed. And it wasn't even that. He'd known years ago that he and Jude had something potentially explosive, the kind of the thing that, if handled incorrectly, could flash and burn too quickly. As much as he wanted it, it wasn't just his life, his heart to risk. Jude was too precious to him and she still had so much to offer. If he'd thought he could ruin her life three years ago, it was worse now because he came with a built in family and responsibilities. He was tied down when she was just starting off.

As much as he wanted her, he couldn't give in. She was meant to be something big. This song was just another example of why. He couldn't confuse that or stand in the way.

_  
I know why you left  
I can't blame you myself  
Must be hard living with ghosts and such an empty shell  
I tried to warn you  
I've been a mess since you've known me  
I can't promise forever  
But I'm working on it  
If I can't hold you  
Can I give you a kiss  
Can I give you a kiss  
Can I, can I  
Can I have a kiss_

As the last notes faded out, their eyes met through the glass. Her cheeks turned a becoming shade of pink but her gaze didn't waiver. The intensity and longing the song had expressed was still there in her eyes, probably a direct reflection of what she saw in his face. Tommy didn't move and neither did Jude. It was unspoken, but they both knew what the other was thinking. A kiss would never be enough and because of their circumstances, it could never be more.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

After the staring contest with Tommy, Jude had been eager to leave G-Major. She barely said anything to anyone on her way out the door. She needed to get away from whatever it was that had just happened.

In her eagerness to record the song, to get it out of her system, she hadn't thought about anyone actually hearing it, let alone Tommy. And now he knew more about her feelings than she'd ever wanted to admit.

She needed a distraction. Writing another song wasn't going to cut it this time. She thought about calling Sadie, but didn't want to explain the situation and her sister would be able to detect that something was wrong before Jude got 'hello' out.

She settled on some retail therapy. It was the next best thing to actually being with Sadie. And since she wasn't ready to confide in her sister, she might as well do what Sadie did best, shop through the drama. Besides, she was supposed to dress up for dinner, so why not dress to impress. It was safe to assume that there would be matchmaking involved. And the stark reality was that Jude needed to put the Tommy feelings to rest. It was clear from the way he'd looked at her after the song that, although he was fond of her, nothing would ever happen between.

So with Sadie's help, if the guy she had in mind wasn't too skeazy, Jude would try to move on. But just in case, she needed a back up plan for the evening, something to get her out of her sister's house if things went down hill.  
As she walked through the mall, Jude flipped open her cell phone and dialed a number she knew by heart.

"You got Speid," he answered on the third ring.

"It's me," she said.

"Major Dude! What's going on?" He sounded genuinely happy to hear from her and Jude realized that it had been a long time since she'd hung out with her friends.

"I was kind of wondering what everyone was doing tonight. I feel like hitting the town later on, living it up a little. What do you say?" She bit her lip as she waited for his answer.

"The other dudes and I are playing a gig at The Vinyl Palace. You should come down. We can totally hang out afterwards," he told her.

Jude let out the breath she'd been holding. "I'm having dinner at Sadie's, but I'll be there for the show. Save me a ticket."

"Done. I gotta go. We've got sound check. But I'll catch you later, dude." Spied hung up and Jude suddenly felt a little less defeated. She still had friends, still had a life of her own. She didn't need to have Tommy occupying all of her time and she didn't need her sister to feel sorry for her. Okay, so she'd been down in the dumps for a while, but she was over feeling sorry for herself, over trying to punish herself for past mistakes. Tonight would be fun and it would be good to hang out with SME. Maybe if Sadie's blind date guy was decent, he could come along. 

Plans made, Jude decided that shopping was still necessary. A new era of 'Jude' was about to begin and that definitely meant looking her best.

Four hours later, Jude rang the doorbell of her sister's modest ranch style house. She nervously ruffled her hair and adjusted the strap of her black halter-top beneath her leather jacket. The air outside was a little cool and so the halter-top might have been a bad choice, but out of everything she'd tried on that afternoon, it had looked the best and portrayed the statement that Jude wanted to make, which was 'Look and me, I'm single and fun.' The halter-top itself was a little bit daring. She'd paired it with her favorite jeans. They were frayed and authentically worn and did amazing things for her butt, definitely a lethal combination. She'd tried to wear some sexy black heels but had settled on a pair of boots that Sadie had coerced her into buying on their last sister's shopping trip, saying that they were 'do me' boots. That definitely fit Jude's agenda. She hadn't felt this girly in a while. She'd even curled her hair, had spent two hours in front of the bathroom mirror torturing it into submission in an effort to obtain that sexy, bed-head look. She'd barely recognized herself when she was all done.

Now Jude looked around nervously and glanced at her watch, waiting for her sister to answer the door. When it finally swung open, Sadie stood there, her mouth open in shock.

"Jude…you're early," she finally managed. "And you look…good."

Jude rolled her eyes and smiled. "Don't act so surprised. I am capable of fixing myself up." She pushed past Sadie into the house.

"Sorry," Sadie quickly offered. "I just didn't think that you'd actually listen to me."

Jude shrugged and shed her jacket to hang it up in the entryway closet.

"Uh, Jude?" Sadie asked.

Jude looked over her shoulder at Sadie. "Yes?"

Her sister's eyebrow was arched. "Are you aware that your shirt seems to be missing quite a bit of material in the back?"

She turned around and crossed her arms at her chest. "Ha. Ha. Yes. I'm perfectly aware." Jude did her best not to start fidgeting under Sadie's scrutinizing gaze. "Why don't you just get all of the teasing and weird comments out of your system right now, so that when the guy you invited over to set me up with gets here, I won't have to worry about being embarrassed in front of a stranger."

Sadie's expression went blank and she turned around, quickly heading in the direction of the kitchen. "I already told you, I didn't invite any strangers to dinner."

Jude followed her sister, sending that something was a little bit off with Sadie's behavior. "It's okay, Sades. I'm cool with it. In fact, bring it on," she offered with fake enthusiasm.

They were in the kitchen then and Sadie busied herself with opening a bottle of wine. Her head snapped up at Jude's words. "What?"

"Bring it on," she reiterated. "I'm ready for this mystery date, ready to see what's out there. In the words of REO Speedwagon, it's 'Time for me to fly.'"

Sadie wrinkled her nose in distaste. "You're quoting REO Speedwagon now?"

Jude lifted her chin defensively as she leaned against the kitchen's small island countertop. "Hey, some of their lyrics are surprisingly poignant."

Sadie giggled and rolled her eyes. "Only you." She handed Jude the bottle of wine. "Open this and get out four wine glasses while I go check on Marissa."

"Oh, bossy tonight, are we?" Jude teased. "And don't think I didn't catch that we need four wine glasses. I know you're daughter's not a wino yet, so that definitely means you invited a date for me."

Sadie just smiled and shook her head as she left the kitchen.

Jude set the wine down on the countertop and began to search the cupboards for glasses. She knew Sadie kept them on a top shelf. Unable to see or reach, she climbed onto the countertop. As she was doing so, the doorbell rang and she stilled.

That must be her date.

She took a deep breath and focused on the task at hand instead of the low voices coming from the entry. Wine glasses. They were right above her head and if she just reached…

A familiar male laugh drifted into the kitchen from the hall just as she was trying to pull herself up using the shelf as leverage. Jude faltered and the shelf started to move in a way that she hadn't intended as her mind tried to process just why Tommy was there.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Kwest answered the door to let Tommy and the boys inside. They exchanged greetings and hi-fives and Braden and Noah were directed towards Marissa's toy room. As they were putting their coats away, a loud crash, punctuated with breaking glass and a female scream came from the kitchen.

Tommy and Kwest both made a mad dash in the direction of the commotion.

He wasn't sure what he was expecting to see when he got there, but as soon as he walked into the kitchen, he stopped in his tracks. For a brief second he thought it was Sadie standing with her back to them, but the body type didn't fit and he'd certainly never had a visceral reaction to his friend's wife before.

Tommy closed his eyes, knowing exactly who was standing in front of him, but not wanting it to register just yet. He opened them again and the body was still there, facing away from him. His brain didn't seem to be working correctly. His eyes ran up and down the exceedingly feminine form, appreciating the tight jeans that emphasized an extremely nice pair of long legs that gave way to an incredible ass. For a moment he wasn't sure she was wearing a shirt, but he could see a single strap tied around her neck, peaking out from beneath waves of gold hair that tumbled over naked shoulders leaving most of her back bare. 

He felt like he'd just been sucker-punched. And his first instinct was to run away because he knew the second she turned around he'd be done for. Not only would he have to admit that he knew who that body belong to, but he'd have to admit that he hadn't had that kind of physical reaction to a woman since the night he'd lost control with her almost three years ago. Okay, so maybe the last time was when she'd been singing that morning.

"Jude? You alright?" Kwest asked, effectively ending Tommy's denial.

She turned and looked over her shoulder at them, her cheeks pink with embarrassment. "Whoops," she shrugged sheepishly and let out a nervous laugh.

Tommy's senses returned to him and he was able to push his lust to the back of his mind, hoping no one noticed his appreciative perusal of Jude's body a few seconds ago. " Are you okay?" he asked, stepping towards her carefully. There was large pile of broken glass on the floor. "You aren't cut or anything are you?" His voice conveyed his   
concern.

Jude sighed and gave him a side-glance when he was right next to her. "I'm fine. Or I will be until Sadie sees this and kills me." She shrugged. "Guess we'll be drinking our wine from Dixie cups."


	7. Chapter 7

Part 7

Despite the broken glass incident, dinner seemed to be going pretty well. Sort of. Jude kept giving Sadie strange looks that were returned with even stranger looks, like they were having some kind of silent sister conversation. Tommy probably wouldn't have even noticed except that he couldn't help but sneak glances at Jude. She'd been on his mind the entire afternoon and he'd known that she would be at Sadie and Kwest's for dinner, but he hadn't been expecting her to look so… beautiful. That wasn't the right way to describe it because he'd always thought she was beautiful, even when he shouldn't have. Maybe it was the added sexiness that caught him off guard, no matter, whatever it was he couldn't keep his eyes off her. And he was fairly certain that Kwest and Sadie had noticed. 

He tore his eyes from Jude and tried to stay focused on the food in front of him and the conversation going on around the table. Noah was on a booster seat on the other side of Jude while Brady and Marissa sat side by side at a small kids table next to the dining room table. Noah was supposed to sit with them but had cried and fussed until they sat him next to Jude. She didn't seem to mind and got his food, cutting up his chicken, rolling up his sleeves to keep them out of the mashed potatoes. She did it all automatically and Tommy didn't think anything of it until he ended up on the receiving end of some of Sadie's strange looks.

"So, Tommy." Sadie started. "It was really nice of you to check on Jude when she was sick."

Tommy swallowed the bite of chicken he'd just taken and studied Sadie's face for some kind of clue as to where the discussion might be headed. He'd learned a long time ago that Sadie always had an agenda.

"It was nothing," he finally responded. "Jude was amazing with the boys when they were sick. It was the least I could do."

"Well, you're a good _friend_." The statement seemed innocuous enough but there was a subtle emphasis on the word friend.

Tommy glanced at Jude from the side. She looked puzzled. "How did you know Tommy came over?" Jude asked. "I didn't tell you that."

Sadie forked a cooked carrot and chewed thoughtfully before innocently answering. "Oh. I stopped by on Tuesday night. You were _sleeping_."

This time the emphasis on the word sleeping wasn't quite so subtle and Tommy almost choked on the drink of water he'd taken. Obviously Sadie saw the sleeping part, and because he hadn't seen_ her _that night it had to have been when he'd sort of fallen asleep with Jude.

Jude didn't notice that, but she was looking at Tommy with concern as he coughed. She reached over and automatically rubbed his back like she would have if it had been Noah. Still caught off guard by Sadie's insinuation, he ended up knocking over his entire water glass as he went to sit it down.

Noah started laughing, the words "Daddy spilled," escaping between giggles.

Jude chuckled too and leaned over to Noah. She kissed his forehead. "Yeah, Daddy's funny, isn't he?"

Tommy rolled his eyes as he tried to wipe up the water mess with his napkin.

Sadie was back to giving Tommy strange looks, her gaze shifting back and forth between him and Jude.

Tommy shot Kwest a pleading look, begging his friend to do something.

Kwest caught the look and cleared his throat. "So…uh…I saw the recording schedule for next week. Darius booked Colby for night sessions."

"Seriously?" That was news to Tommy. "That sucks." He turned to Jude. "Is that going to be okay?"

She shrugged and continued eating. "It's fine. The boys and I have a routine. We'll be good."

"I feel bad though…" he started.

Now Jude rolled her eyes. "Quincy. It's your job. Besides, it's not permanent. As soon as you get Colby's album done, you'll have more free time."

"Colby's not exactly very cooperative," Kwest inserted. "It might take longer than any of us expects." He paused and then smirked. "I've worked with a lot of the Instant Stars but I have to say the first one is still my favorite."

Kwest winked and Jude laughed as she blushed.

"Whatever. You just say that because I was young and didn't talk back."

Both Tommy and Kwest burst into laughter at that statement.

Tommy shook his head. "You were such a punk. When I met you I didn't think that much attitude could fit in the recording booth. Talk about diva tendencies."

Jude smacked him with the back of her hand, a gasp of indignation leaving her lips. "Take that back, Tom Quincy. I think _you _were the one with the attitude, not me."

"You called me 'Little Tommy Q' and made fun of me," he reminded.

"Because I didn't know you and you wanted to change my music," she countered.

"To make it better," he clarified defensively.

They were almost nose-to-nose, as they playfully argued, neither realizing how close they'd gotten until a throat cleared from across the table. Simultaneously they jerked back, straightening in their chairs.

"So, what's for dessert?" Jude asked as she tucked her hair behind her ears.

"Cake. I'll go get it," Sadie told them. She looked at Jude and jerked her head toward the kitchen it what must have been girl code for 'come help me' because Jude got up and followed her.

Tommy's eyes lingered on Jude's very appealing backside and she disappeared into the other room. When he looked back, Kwest was staring at him with an expression that was equal parts amused and confused.

"What?" Tommy asked. He started to pick at his food, moving what was left around on the plate.

Kwest shook his head. "You keep staring at her like you're a starving man about to eat for the first time. What's going on between you two?"

Tommy averted his gaze, pretending to check on Noah's eating progress. "Nothing," he mumbled.

"Liar. You can't tell me that, not after the song this morning and the way you can't keep your eyes off her. Something is definitely going on with you two," Kwest insisted.

"No," Tommy denied the implication vehemently. "If there was something going on, do you honestly think there'd be this much sexual tension?"

"Ah…so that's what this is. Tension. Which means there's attraction and so potentially something could happen."

Tommy shook his head. "No. She and I are friends. That's it!"

Kwest smirked. "Are you trying to convince me or yourself?

A second later Jude walked back into the dining room balancing several plates with cake slices. "My waitressing skills actually come in handy every once in a while," she said as she handed a plate to Tommy and set the others on the table. Sadie returned with three more slices of cake.

"Cake!" Noah exclaimed, his face lighting up with delight at the sight of it. He started to reach toward a plate, but Jude pushed it out of the way.

"Sorry, dude," she said and readjusted the plate of food in front of him. "You can't have cake until you eat your peas," she informed him.

Tommy watched with amusement as Noah's face scrunched up with distaste but he fisted the peas and tried to shove them all into his mouth at once, the pods flying everywhere.

He could see that Jude was trying not to laugh. "Noah, baby, smaller bites," she added between giggles.

The peas disappeared quickly, and when they were all gone, Jude put one of the plates of cake in front of him and he didn't hesitate to dig his fingers into the chocolate frosting. Brady finished his food then and ran over to the table with Marissa behind him, both of them wanting their dessert. Jude handed Brady's plate to him and instructed him to be careful. "Aunt Sadie will get mean if you drop it on her white carpet," she whispered with a half-smile.

Sadie glared as she handed Marissa her own piece of cake. "Ignore Jude, Brady. She's crazy."

Brady's little shoulders squared at that and he turned toward Sadie. "She is not!" he declared. "She's the bestest in the world."

"Awe…" Jude gave him an affectionate kiss on the top of his head and pointed him toward his table. When he wasn't looking she stuck her tongue out at Sadie. "I'm the best. You're a big ol' meanie."

Sadie rolled her eyes.

Jude turned her attention back to the piece of cake in front of her. Tommy watched as she started to scrape the frosting off the cake. She took a forkful and reached over to his plate and deposited the frosting on top of his cake. He was more than happy to help her out by taking what she didn't want off her hands.

"Jude?" Sadie sounded irritated and Tommy looked up from his cake to see Sadie glaring in Jude's direction. Jude just added another forkful of frosting to Tommy's plate, not giving Sadie more than a sideways glance.

"You know I don't like chocolate frosting, Sadie."

"Yeah, but, you don't just put it on someone else's plate," Sadie hissed.

Jude's eyes narrowed at her sister. Tommy could feel a fight brewing and he was confused. What was the big deal? It was just frosting. "It's okay," he defended Jude. "We do it all the time."

"Since when are you Miss. Manners?" Jude threw out, purposely taking the last scoop of frosting and making a show of its addition to the already large mound on the plate.

Sadie didn't respond, but there was steam coming from her ears and she did that strange head jerk thing again. Jude rolled her eyes and set her fork down on her plate with a loud clinking noise before she got up and followed her sister.

"What was that?" Tommy asked once the two women disappeared into the kitchen.

Kwest shrugged. "You got me. Maybe it has something to do with the way you and Jude share food…kind of like an old married couple."

Tommy shoved a large forkful of cake into his mouth before telling his friend succinctly to "Shut up."

The two men took the time to talk about work some more. Then Tommy noticed that Noah had chocolate everywhere, even up his nose. He decided to go get something to wipe his son off and went towards the kitchen. It had only been a few minutes and when he walked in he was surprised to see an upset looking Sadie leaning against the counter. But there was no Jude.

"Uh…where'd Jude go?" he asked.

Sadie avoided his gaze. "Did you need something?"

He stared at her. It was clear that an argument of some sort had occurred, but he couldn't imagine what it had been about. He cleared his throat. "Look, I'm sorry about the frosting thing," he told her.

Sadie shook her head, giving out a half-hearted laugh. "I'm not mad about the frosting. I'm just…Jude's just…" She shrugged, unable to finish the sentence. Even so, Tommy understood the sentiment. Sometimes there were just no words to describe Jude.

Tommy stood there, hands in his jeans pockets, unsure what to say. "You two will work it out, whatever it is."

Sadie nodded. "I know." She paused. "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you earlier, about the sleeping thing."

"Yeah…about that, what you saw wasn't…"

Sadie laughed, this time it was more genuine and there was amusement on her face. "I know…it was completely innocent. Which is fine…but eventually you two are going to have to give in and just…" she raised her eyebrows suggestively. The implication was enough to make Tommy's cheeks redden.

"We're friends," he blurted out.

"Keep telling yourself that," Sadie said as she patted his shoulder. "You should go check on her. "

Tommy agreed and informed Sadie that Noah was kind of messy. She said she'd take care of it while he went to find Jude.

It didn't take long to track her down. She was outside, sitting on the concrete steps that led to the patio slab.

"Jude, what are you doing?" he sat down next to her and watched as she turned her head away, wiping tears from her eyes, trying not to let him see.

"I just…" she started and then let out a shaky breath. "My sister drives me crazy."

"Want to talk about it?" he offered softly.

She started to shake her head, but ended up shivering as the cool breeze picked up. Tommy could see the goose bumps on her skin and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer to his side to keep her warm.

"When she invited me over tonight, I sort of thought she was setting me up on a blind date. Because she's done it before," Jude explained.

_A date?_ Tommy started to tense and he pulled Jude further into his side. "So…that's why you're so dressed up?"

Jude let out a choked laugh. "I know…I look ridiculous, right?"

He shook his head. "No…no, you look beautiful," he told her sincerely. Although he didn't like knowing she'd dressed up like this for some stranger.

"Thanks," she sniffled.

"So, what's Sadie's problem then?" he prompted her to continue, thankful that she wasn't moving away from him.

She shrugged and he felt the movement against his chest. "I'm not sure I even understand. She pulled me into the kitchen to tell me how inappropriate and rude it is to pawn my food off on other people and then she started in on how she thinks you and I are behaving strangely around each other. She topped it all off with the news that she's pregnant again and she's been talking to our dad but didn't know how to tell me."

Tommy remained silent for a moment as he tried to process what she'd just told him. "I guess I can understand why you might need a little space from her. You know…she's probably just hormonal. Which is why she freaked about the frosting," he rationalized.

Jude nodded her agreement. "I know you're right."

He went on. "As for you and I acting weird…"

Jude interrupted him and pulled back to look into his face. "We're okay, right? I mean, I know this morning…" her voice trailed off and she looked away.

He took his index finger and turned her chin gently so that they were face to face again. "Jude, we're fine. Nothing's going to change that, okay?" She nodded and he touched his forehead to hers before pulling back and leaving a soft kiss at her temple. He knew it wasn't what she wanted to hear, but he wasn't sure he could give her any other kind of assurance just then. There were a lot of unresolved issues between them, but if he knew anything it was that he didn't want to not have her in his life.'

"Okay, so tell me about your dad, then."

Jude sighed loudly and snuggled further into Tommy's arms, her head resting on his shoulder. "Well, you know everything that happened with my parents' divorce."

Tommy was more than familiar with all the sordid details of the demise of the Harrison marriage. He'd been there through the whole thing. It had happened shortly after Jude's sixteenth birthday. He and Angie had just announced they were expecting Brady and Tommy had been ecstatic, so much so that he'd barely noticed Angie's less than enthusiastic acceptance of her pregnancy. It was funny how a person remembers things. He'd been at a doctor's appointment with Angie and then gone back to the studio and found Jude hiding in a rehearsal room, crying her heart out. He'd gone and sat next to her and she blurted out the whole story. Her mom had gone on a business trip for the week. Jude forgot her journal at home that morning and when she went back for it, walked in on her dad with another woman.

Tommy remembered how devastated Jude had been. He spent the whole afternoon with her, trying to talk her through it and just holding her when that wasn't enough. Eventually he took her to a movie because she hadn't wanted to go home and face her dad. It was late when he dropped her off and went home to a very upset Angie who hadn't cared that he'd just been trying to help Jude out.

"Well, you know Dad moved to Montreal with Yvette. I barely ever saw him and then when mom got sick, I called and asked for help and he said 'No'. Can you believe that? The woman he was married to for almost twenty years was dying and he just says no. I haven't talked to him since." Jude sighed and Tommy could hear the tears in her voice. "Out of the blue, Sadie says she's been talking to him because she wants her kids to know their grandfather. And I understand that, but then she says that he told her to tell me 'Hi.' Hi…like we're just acquaintances or something." 

She wiped jerkily at the tears on her cheeks and Tommy's chest tightened. "The worst part is that I've been reduced to an acquaintance when he used to be my biggest fan." She took a shaky breath. "Mostly, I just wish he would have been there for me when I needed him."

Those words felt like a knife through Tommy's heart. "I'm sorry I wasn't here for you either," he whispered. He rested his cheek on top of her head. "I wish that I could have been. But I'm here now…you can tell me anything, Jude." He paused. "I know something else happened while all of that stuff was going on with your mom. You can trust me."

As he said the words, Jude stiffened in his arms and started to pull away. "No. It's fine," she said quickly. "I'm just being silly."

"Jude…" Part of him wished he'd reigned himself in, but the other part wanted her to know that she could come to him. Now she knew, but the trust wasn't there anymore. She used to confide everything to him and what he regretted, along with a whole list of other things, was that she no longer trusted him, no longer felt like he could keep her secrets safe.

She shook her head and was about to say something when the back door to the house opened behind them. They both turned around.

"Jude, your phone's been ringing," Kwest handed the cell phone to Jude and she quickly took it. She opened it and started scrolling through her missed calls before punching in a number.

Reluctantly, Tommy stood up and moved away from her as she started talking. Their moment was broken and he knew that it was mostly his fault. He left her to her phone call and followed Kwest back inside to see what the rest of the evening might hold.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Jude's emotions fluctuated between pissed off, nervous, frustrated and confused, although the latter was more a state of mind than anything. She was pissed off at Sadie, partly for ruining an almost-pleasant dinner, but mostly because her sister had managed to manipulate her, again.

After getting Speid's message about the tickets he'd saved for her for the show that night, Jude had gone inside to tell everyone goodbye. She still didn't quite understand how it happened, but the next thing she knew, Sadie was volunteering to baby-sit so Tommy could go along and have some kid-free fun.

Tommy had seemed excited by the prospect and Jude hadn't been able to say no. It wasn't that she didn't want him along. The problem was that she _did_ want him with her. How was she ever going to ring in the new era of 'Jude' when the whole reason for new Jude was right next to her, making her feel all those things that she knew she shouldn't.

It was frustrating to have him with her, sitting in her Mustang, fiddling with the radio as they drove to the concert. It was frustrating and confusing that he could even sit there, so utterly unaware, and act like she hadn't written him a song, exposed her feelings for him and then cried on his shoulder about her 'daddy' issues.

Ugh…he was such a _guy _sometimes.

And the worst part was that she was actually nervous about going with him to the concert. Sure, she'd hung out at his house with him, but the boys were always there as a potential buffer.

Not tonight.

It was just them. Together. Alone.

Jude didn't say anything to Tommy as they drove. He briefly commented on SME's last album and that the concert would probably be good. When they got to The Vinyl Palace it was like a flash of Déjà vu. Six years ago _she_ was the one doing the show with Tommy there to convince her to keep going.

She pushed it from her mind. She was there to have a good time and remembering the past wasn't going to be a part of that.

To her relief and delight, the place was crowded with people. She tried to weave through the masses, but Tommy grabbed hold of her hand. Inwardly she winced, not wanting to listen to the voice in her head that wanted to lock their fingers together, to keep him close to her side. She had to remember the night was about getting out, reconnecting with people that she'd been avoiding and trying to jump over the hurdle of her feelings for her former producer.

"Do you want a drink before they start?" Tommy asked, raising his voice to be heard among the din of the crowd.

Jude hesitated. It had been a long time since she'd let herself drink in public, but she quickly rationalized that one drink wouldn't hurt and might actually help calm her nerves. Tommy told her he'd meet her up front, so she headed that direction, her head moving through the audience, looking side to side for anyone she might recognize.

She found Karma hanging out by the stage and greeted the fellow Instant Star. The two had formed a tentative friendship before Jude left G-Major and occasionally met up for lunch gossip sessions.

"Jude!" Karma exclaimed when she approached. "Speedy told me you were coming but I didn't believe him." Karma gave her a hug and Jude laughed.

"This is a crazy crowd," she commented. "The energy is awesome! The show's going to kick ass."

Karma nodded. "I know and the MTV camera crews are here filming for the new reality show Speid and I are doing." Karma proceeded to fill Jude in on all the details for the Speid and Karma Wedding special that MTV was producing.

Halfway through the elaborate plans, Jude felt a presence at her side and was relieved to see Tommy, drinks in hand.

"Bacardi and diet for the lady," he handed Jude the full plastic cup.

He didn't move away from her, his body angled so that her side was against his chest. She told herself that it was crowded and noisy. He was close because he was trying to hear the conversation and keep from getting repeatedly bumped. It didn't mean anything and she wasn't tingling from the contact. 

_Shit._ She didn't even believe herself anymore. It was stupid to think that one song was going be enough to write Tommy out of her system. It hadn't worked three years ago and it wasn't going to work now.

She wasn't really paying attention to what was being said around her. She was too aware of Tommy talking animatedly next to her. The brush of his arms against her, however accidental, the way he leaned close to her ear, his warm breath caressing her neck as he tried to tell her something that she didn't quite catch because she was trying to remember to breathe.

She didn't even notice that her cup was empty until the waitress approached their little group. 

Jude was surprised when the waitress handed her another cup. She looked at Tommy questioningly, but he shook his head, a frown tugging on his lips indicating that he hadn't ordered it for her. She looked at the waitress and was about to refuse the drink when the woman pointed over to the speakers. "The gentleman over there sent it to you," she explained.

Jude's gaze quickly moved in the direction of the speakers her face broke into a grin as she caught sight of the guy the waitress referred to. He tipped his cowboy hat and returned Jude's smile.

This was turning out to be a better night than she'd originally thought.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Tommy tried not to get jealous about another guy buying Jude a drink. After all, even though they'd come to the concert together, it wasn't exactly a date. Although, it might have been considered just that if Jude hadn't seemed so unenthusiastic about his presence. Truthfully he wasn't even sure why he'd come along when Sadie suggested it. He wasn't all that anxious to spend time away from the boys. In fact he preferred it to the club scene. But he seldom got to spend any time with Jude, hanging out like they used to and this had seemed like a golden opportunity for them to have fun, just the two of them.

Of course, Jude had been tense since they'd left Kwest and Sadie's place and Tommy wasn't sure why. 

Once they'd gone inside, his protective instincts had gone into overdrive when he noticed all the appreciative male gazes directed at Jude. He didn't like it and that was the only reason why he was staying to so close to her. To protect her. Okay, so maybe he was touching her a little more than he should, but he couldn't seem to help himself.

She'd been smiling politely and talking, laughing when appropriate but her mind seemed miles away and it wasn't until the waitress brought over a drink some strange guy bought for her that Jude started to pay attention. Then she looked over at the guy and her whole face broke into that infectious grin of hers.

Tommy didn't like that while Jude was distancing herself from him she was smiling at some random guy. And he really didn't like the way she ran over and practically jumped into the other man's arms.

He needed another drink, something a little harder than the Mandarin and Seven he'd first ordered. Eyes still on Jude and her too touchy male admirer, Tommy ordered a round of shots. 

"You might want to unclench your jaw, Quincy," Karma teased as she sipped her Cosmopolitan. "Jealousy's not very attractive, even for you."

"I'm not jealous," he said defensively.

Karma rolled her eyes. "Yeah, and I'm still a virgin. Whatever, Tom." She paused as her eyes glanced back and forth between Jude and Tommy. Her eyes got big as if a thought just occurred to her. "Are you two here on a date?"

He started to protest, but Jude was coming back over to them, dragging the guy behind her.

"You guys, look who I found," she laughed, her voice animated. "It's Mason Fox!"

As soon as she said his name and pulled him into the small circle, Tommy recognized the former Instant Star and relaxed. The tightness in his chest eased up and he quickly stuck out his hand. "Mason, long time no see. How you been?"

Mason grinned. "Things are good. I've been down in Nashville for a while. I came back for a talk show appearance and I heard these guys were playing tonight. Thought I'd check it out for old times' sake," he explained.

Jude wrapped her arm around Mason's waist and gave him an affectionate side hug. If Tommy didn't know for a fact that Mason was gay, he'd have a very hard time with Jude's sudden affectionate nature.

The waitress returned moments later with the shots he'd ordered and he passed them out. Only Karma declined but helped them toast SME.

They took the shots and Jude started to cough. She was standing next to Tommy again, something he may have maneuvered when he passed out the little plastic shot glasses. He grinned down at her, laughing at the face she made. "Yuck. What was in that?" she asked.

"Why, you want another one?" he teased.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Are you trying to get me drunk, Quincy?"

He gave her his best innocent expression. "I would never…"

She bumped her shoulder against his as she giggled. He was relieved that she seemed to have relaxed and he decided he might need to thank Mason for that later.

An hour went by as they waited for SME to come on stage. More people joined their little group, people Tommy knew from G-Major. The waitress came and went several times, shots were taken, and toasts were made. It felt surprisingly good to be there like that, Tommy decided. To talk and joke around, just having fun. It reminded him a lot of before…but it was still different. Better somehow. He loved that Jude was laughing and smiling, loved that she'd stopped hugging Mason and was now hugging him. He kept his arm around her, wanting her close to him.

As their group grew, people started to recognize them; fans came up to them to ask for autographs. They all had their fair share and even posed for a few pictures. 

SME finally made it onstage and by then they were all feeling pretty good as the drinks flowed freely around them. Tommy, Jude, Karma and Mason all yelled and screamed with the rest of the audience. Jude and Karma even started to dance along with the music. 

At one point Jude turned to Tommy, her drink sloshing in her hand as she grabbed his arm. "Dance with me," she yelled over the music. Somehow, instead of dancing, she ended up on his back, her arms wrapped around his shoulders, legs draped around his waist. She kept leaning down to whisper things he couldn't hear into his ear. The alcohol removed all the barriers that had been so carefully put up between them and everything was heightened. Tommy let himself feel everything he'd been holding back, and enjoyed the way she brushed her body against him, loved the way her breathe was hot against the skin of his neck when she tried to tell him things. And when her mouth brushed against his cheek leaving a moist kiss he was more than tempted to pull her around to face him and make the kiss real, even in the crowd full of people. He might have done just that. But the band had already been playing for a solid hour, all songs from their albums. The tone of the music changed and with that the mood of the crowd shifted, lifting the energy even higher, if that was possible.

Tommy felt Jude slide down from his back, his hands had been clutching her thighs around his waist and they slid with her movement until he was touching her ass. She moved to stand in front of him as Spied started in on the opening guitar riff from Guns N' Roses "Sweet Child O' Mine". As he played he pointed to Jude and winked before bring his mouth to the mic. "Ladies and gentleman, it's time to go a little old school. And to do that, SME's going to need a little help from the woman that got us started in the business of making hit records. Put your hands together for Miss Jude Harrison."

The crowd roared and Jude looked startled. 

Tommy nudged her. "Go!" he yelled. "Get up there!"

A couple of the front row security guys gave Jude a boost onto the stage. Once she gained her balance, she took the mic Wally offered and looked over at Speid offering him a lopsided grin.

"Come on, Harrison. You know this song," he said into his mic. "Show us what you got!"

And she did.

It was like being transported back in time, watching Jude on stage as she performed, playing up to the fans, working the stage. She used to encore to this song, loved belting it out. Tonight was no different. She was possessed by the music, her hips and feet moving with the beat.

He couldn't help but get caught up in it, caught up in her.

Things had changed since he'd left and come back, but the reason he'd left before was still there. She was still like a magnet, attracting him even when he knew that he needed to be pulling away. The thing about magnets was that no matter what, the force was just undeniable.

The moment was surreal as he watched her sing the chorus, back to back with Speiderman, her head thrown back, the microphone at her lips. As the guys played out the last part of the song, Jude put her lips to Speid's ear and said something to him.

Speid smiled and Jude turned around and jogged onstage over to the other two band members, saying something the audience couldn't hear to each of them. They nodded that they understood and the music changed yet again.

Jude walked to the edge of the stage and stood with her feet spread apart, staring down at Tommy. She smirked and crooked her finger at him. "Little Tommy Q," she held the mic to her mouth. "Why don't you come help me with this next song?"

He shook his head, trying not to get drawn in by the sexy smirk on her lips or the come hither eyes that she directed at him. He felt Mason pounding on his back, urging him to go.

He had just enough to drink that it didn't take much more convincing and he foisted himself onto the stage, grabbing a mic as Jude spoke the first line of lyrics.   
_  
Once upon a time not so long ago_

Her eyes sparkled as she faced him. The song reminded him of late nights in the studio when they were punchy from tiredness and an overdose of junk food. She'd sing to him to break up the mood, tease him out of his grumpiness. She always knew how to make him smile.

_Tommy used to work on the docks  
union's been on strike  
He's down on his luck - It's tough  
so tough._

He laughed as he watched her move towards him, forgetting the audience that belted out the lyrics along with them. Jude's eyebrows rose and he knew what she wanted, that it was his turn to sing. He liked the surprise on her face when he changed the name and made it hers, made the song theirs.

_Jude works the diner all day  
working for her man  
She brings home her pay for love  
for love._

The rest of the song went the same way, they sang the chorus in unison, both flirting with each other and the audience, but always coming back together.

_She says: We've got to hold on to what we've got  
'Cause it doesn't make a difference if we make it or not.  
We've got each other and that's a lot for love -  
We'll give it a shot._

We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer

Take my hand and we'll make it  
I swear - livin' on a prayer.

Tommy got his six string in hock.  
Now he's holding in what he used to make it talk -  
So tough  
it's tough.

Jude dreams of running away  
when she cries in the night  
Tommy whispers: Baby  
it's okay  
someday.

We've got to hold on to what we've got . . .  
We're half way there - Livin' on a prayer

Tommy felt oddly liberated on stage. The song ended, both standing there facing each other, the mics held in their hands the only thing separating them. He couldn't help the smile the spread across his face as he stared into hers. The crowd was going crazy, wanting more and he knew that it wasn't for him. She was born to be on stage, born to perform and as he looked at her, he realized that this was the happiest he'd seen her since he'd been back.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Eyes opened blearily to unfamiliar surroundings. As she tried to take it in, Jude's chest tightened, her pulse leaping as panic set in and 'Oh God, not again,' went through her mind like a litany. She tried to push the panic aside, along with the sudden urge to vomit, unsure if that was byproduct of anxiety, a hangover or both.

She needed to think, but her head was pounding, making coherent thought impossible just then.

What the hell had happened last night?

When the memory didn't immediately come to her, she closed her eyes again. Maybe this was just a bad dream and in a little bit, she'd wake up and be staring at the bare walls of her bedroom instead of the tan walls of a decidedly masculine bedroom.

Movement from the vicinity of her feet suggested otherwise, especially when something that could only be a small foot stepped on her calf, causing her to squeal from the stinging pain. 

Jude groaned and heard little answering whispers and giggles. 

She knew those giggles. 

As her mind tried to process that, movement from her right caught her off guard and her eyes flew all the way open.

Brady and Noah peered down at her from the end of the bed, both wearing their superhero pajamas and sporting messy hair and big grins.

If the boys were there that meant the body next to her belonged to…

Slowly she turned her head to confirm that it was indeed Tommy laying next to her, almost snuggled into her side. Even more slowly, she lifted the covers and peaked underneath.

A sigh of what could only be relief escaped her lips.

They were both still fully dress, although her shirt had gotten a little twisted.

"Joood!" Noah said loudly from the end of the bed.

Tommy groaned and burrowed his head further into his pillow.

Jude looked at the boys and put her fingers to her lips. "Shsh…Daddy's sleeping," she whispered.

Brady laughed. "I wake 'em up," he said and then proceeded to jump on Tommy's back.

Tommy grunted at the impact. "Dude," he groaned, voice groggy as he tried to roll over. "What did I tell you about doin' that?"

"Dat it is not nice 'cuz you is sleepin'" Brady responded.

Jude couldn't help but laugh, even though the sound and movement caused her head to throb painfully. Oh, dear god, she was never drinking again.

Tommy's eyes snapped open and darted to Jude. He started to sit up but fell back, his forearm covering his eyes as he groaned again.

"Tell me about it," Jude commiserated.

Noah crawled into Jude's lap. "Joood," he turned her face toward him with his little chubby hands. "I hungawy," he said softly.

"You're hungry?" She kissed the top of his head. She seriously could barely stomach the idea of food just then.

"Me too!" Braden jumped on the bed, his feet catching Tommy's other arm and eliciting another yelp from his father.

Jude rolled her eyes. Ignoring Tommy, she looked at the boys. "Well, what do you want for breakfast?" she asked.

"Uhm…. pancakes!" Brady exclaimed. He was still jumping on the bed and the hand that wasn't covering Tommy's face darted out around the little boy's waist and pulled Braden down onto the mattress with a thud.

"Let's use our inside voice, okay, baby?" Jude told him as he squirmed in Tommy's grasp.

"Jude," Brady insisted. "My tummy is grwowlin."

"Me too….grrrr," Noah added the sound effects of a growl and Jude laughed out loud.

A muffled moan came from Tommy beneath the pillow he'd put over his head.

Men were such babies sometimes.

"Okay, guys, let's go get some pop tarts." Jude's suggestion was met with enthusiastic 'Yays!'. She was glad. She was barely up to operating a toaster, let alone cooking actual pancakes.

"Alright, now crawl _all_ over Daddy and let's go downstairs," Jude instructed. If Tommy was just going to lay there like a lump while she took care of his kids then he deserved a little bit of torture.

"I heard that," he said from under the pillow as the boys immediately followed Jude's orders and started to crawl over their father.

"I know," she smirked.

The boys were making a show of it; clearly having fun and thinking it was a game. But after a moment, the lure of food became much more tempting and Braden slid off the bed to the floor. He looked so goofy, the leg of one pajama pant shoved up to his knee as the pants themselves sagged on his little body. Noah wasn't nearly as quick or agile as his brother. Jude went to pick him up and spare Tommy from further torture. She didn't reach them quite in time and one of Noah's knees connected with a very sensitive body part of Tommy's, making him groan again.

"That's our cue to leave," she told Noah and scurried out the door.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

After he recovered from his child inflicted groin injury, Tommy finally sat up in bed and tried to process everything that had happened that morning. Although maybe the better place to start was the night before. Because if he could piece that together then maybe he'd be able to figure out just how he and Jude had ended up in bed together.

A part of him briefly wished that the reality of the situation would have been as tawdry as it sounded, but that was hardly the case considering they'd both been fully clothed.

Christ, what had happened last night?

He remembered the drinks, remembered SME, even vaguely recalled getting up on stage with Jude at one point, but after that… How had they even gotten back to his house? And with the boys?

That thought alone had him mildly panicked, but he had a brief flash of Kwest and Sadie and he hoped they had played a part in making sure everyone got home safely. Mentally he kicked himself…he hadn't been this irresponsible since before Braden was born.

His head was pounding. Thinking was not a pleasant task and he really wanted to go back to sleep before he tried to piece together any more pieces of last nights' puzzle.

A set of giggles filtered through the open door to the bedroom. Tommy immediately felt guilty, especially if Jude felt anything like he did. He knew that she'd had just as much to drink, if not more, than he had, so she was probably feeling pretty lousy and yet she was the one up and taking care of the boys. Motivated by those thoughts, he got up and stumbled his way to the bathroom to shower. Maybe once he didn't smell like a distillery he'd feel better.

That seemed to be the case twenty minutes later when he finally made his way down the hall toward the kitchen. 

He was just outside the door when he heard Braden talking loudly. "Jude, you look scawy dis mornin'"

It shouldn't have been funny, but coupled with Jude's reply, "Brady, I _feel_ scary this morning," laughter escaped Tommy's lips.

"I heard that!" Jude yelled from the kitchen. Tommy entered the doorway, smirking as he took in the sight of her. Her halter shirt was wrinkled, and her face looked a little pale, but maybe only in comparison to the dark mascara smudges that lined beneath her eyes. And her beautiful blond hair was a tangled mess. She glared at him and his smile widened because the picture of her in the kitchen with the boys just seemed to fit.

"Don't give me that look," Jude told him grumpily.

Tommy shrugged innocently. "What look?'

Her eyes narrowed. "That half-amused, indulgent look that you always give me. I kind of hate you right now," she said huffily, her lower lip plumping out into a slight pout.

He chuckled and walked over to where she sat. He placed a hand on the back of her chair and another on the table in front of her. He leaned down and kissed her on the nose. "Thanks for taking care of 'em, Big Eyes," he said softly.

He could see her lip twitching, like she was torn between letting herself smile and trying to stay mad.

The grin broke free, but quickly turned into a scowl. "The least you could do is make me some coffee," she told him.

"I'll do better. You go take a shower and I'll make you coffee _and _breakfast."

She eyed him curiously before agreeing and got up slowly to trudge down the hall to the bathroom.

Jude was fairly quick for a girl and emerged from the bathroom less than fifteen minutes later wearing sweatpants and an old high school t-shirt. The boys had demolished their pop tarts and gone off to watch cartoons while Tommy made Jude his breakfast hangover cure.

Tommy's eyebrows rose questioningly as he looked at her.

She shrugged. "After Monday's sick fiasco I decided a spare set of clothes might be necessary. I left a duffle bag of my stuff in the spare bedroom," she explained as she slumped into a kitchen chair.

"Smart _and _beautiful," he smiled and winked at her from the stove. She rolled her eyes at him and pushed damp hair behind her ears.

"So…" she started. "What happened last night?"

He turned back to the stove and flipped over the contents of the pan with a spatula. Satisfied that the food was done, he grabbed two plates from the cupboard and filled both.

"What's this?" Jude asked as he put the plate in front of her.

"Eggs in a hole. It's a Du Tois specialty. You take some bread, cut a hole in it and then fry an egg in the middle," he told her as he sat down with his own plate. "Seriously, it's good. I used to always crave this when I had a hangover."

She looked momentarily hesitant but started eating anyway. "So you didn't answer my question," she pointed out between bites.

"That's because I don't exactly know the answer. I remember Mason and Karma, SME…you on stage with SME. After that things get a little bit fuzzy," he admitted.

"Great," Jude took another bite. "Well, at least we didn't sleep together."

He raised an eyebrow; his fork paused mid-air at her statement.

Jude flushed and he held back a grin.

"I mean…we did…sleep together, just not…well, that is, all that we did was sleep. At least I think so…" her flustered words trailed off as she saw Tommy's amused expression and she promptly punched him in the shoulder. "You're such a jerk, Quincy."

"That's not what you said last night, Big Eyes."

Her mouth dropped open and he leaned forward.

He was going to kiss her.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_In true Speiderman Mind Explosion form, the band rocked The Vinyl Palace stirring the crowd with the entire play list of songs from their last two platinum selling albums. And while the band certainly knows how to put on a show, the real party started even before they reached the stage when MTV cameras spotted former Instant Star Jude Harrison with boy-bander turned producer Tom Quincy, working The Palace floor with Vin Speiderman's main squeeze R & B diva Karma as well as country crooner Mason Fox. While it could have been an Instant Star reunion it was Harrison who later took to the stage to finish out the show with SME after some prompting from front man Speid._

Watching Harrison perform was a surprisingly pleasant blast from the past. It's the first time anyone has heard a peep from the Instant Star since her mysterious disappearance from the music scene three years ago. Official word at the time was that Harrison was taking a break indefinitely to deal with some purported personal issues. The three year break was most definitely kind to the sexy songstress. She certainly didn't disappoint and was in fine form both performance-wise and physically when she took to the stage. Of course fans weren't the only ones thinking this. Tom Quincy apparently agreed. The former Boyz Attacker spent the evening with his eyes and hands glued to Harrison, the two practically inseparable. Jude even pulled her former producer up on stage for a rousing rendition of Bon Jovi's 'Livin' On A Prayer'. 

So what does Jude Harrison's reemergence into the spot light mean? Should fans be expecting more from the first and probably most promising talent Instant Star ever gave us? 

Tommy tossed the Talk National article onto his desk and glanced up to meet Darius' gaze. The man looked positively giddy.

"I knew I could count on you, T. I couldn't have asked for a better promotion for Jude. I've been getting calls all morning asking about a new album. The stage has literally been set for her come back."

"Darius," Tommy tried to interrupt, to explain that Saturday night hadn't been about promoting Jude, but Darius wasn't listening. He was too busy working out new ideas.

"Think about all the hype. I bet we could even start doing a pre-sale promotion. Maybe a few more surprise appearances…"

"Darius, Jude's not interested," Tommy asserted. "She doesn't want this."

Darius' grin quickly turned serious and his eyes narrowed as he stood up to look down at Tom. "Jude doesn't know what she wants. She made a few mistakes, but everyone does when they're young like that. And I've given her plenty of time to get over it and grow up. She owes me. Besides, you and I both know that girl was born to be a star."

Tommy wanted to throw something at his boss as he watched him leave the office. This wasn't going to end well. He needed to talk to Jude, sooner rather than later. But what the hell was he going to say? He hadn't spoken with her since she'd left his house on Sunday. Sadie had shown up, interrupting their breakfast and rushed Jude off to get her car. He'd been tempted to call her, see how she fared with her hangover, but he chickened out. 

He wondered what she'd think about the Talk National article. He knew she'd tried really hard to stay out of the lime light for the last few years. Obviously a few articles popped up here and there. It was unavoidable really. But this…this was going to be a big story. And it would only get worse, especially if Darius got his way. And what the hell had he meant with all of that talk about 'mistakes' and Jude owing him? 

Tommy glanced back down at the article, his eyes lingering on the picture that dominated an entire page. It was a shot of him and Jude at The Vinyl Palace as they were standing next to the stage. Karma and Mason were next to them, but the focus of the picture was he and Jude. She was facing someone, smiling about something, a drink in her hands. He was directly behind her, arms wrapped around her waist as she leaned back against him. It looked like he was nuzzling her neck. One of her arms was snaked behind her, holding him to her. Tommy snorted, yeah, like she'd had to hold him there to keep him by her side. The article had been right when it said they'd been glued to each other. Truthfully Tommy was surprised Darius hadn't commented on their 'coziness'. Three years ago he'd gotten all over Tommy's ass about being careful around Jude. And that had been over an innocent hug after a concert. This…well, this wasn't nearly as innocent.

Tommy groaned and ran his right hand through his hair in frustration. Things were about to get a hell of a lot more complicated and he wasn't sure what he was going to do.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

"Mason! Over here!" Jude waved at him from across the small diner. She was sitting in a booth towards the back, watching the door as she waited for him. He had called her on Sunday afternoon to see if she had survived her night of drunken escapades. During the course of the conversation they agreed to meet up for lunch the next day to catch up with each other's lives before Mason had to leave for Nashville to finish his new album.

The cowboy made his way over to Jude's booth. She stood up and greeted him with a friendly hug before they both sat down. 

"I'm so glad we could do this," She told him as he took off his hat and placed it next to him on the seat.

Mason smiled at her. "Me too. Life's been kind of boring since you went AWOL, Harrison," he told her.

Jude laughed. "Yeah, I've definitely missed you too, Mason."

The waitress approached their table and took their order. As soon as she left, Jude turned to Mason. "So, catch me up on all of your news," she insisted. "I think the last time I talked to you was before you moved. How are things going with the new label?"

"Good, really good actually. It's a much better fit than G-Major was." He paused and his head tilted ever so slightly to the side as he appeared to be studying Jude. His gaze was curious. "But I'm pretty boring otherwise. What I really want to know is what's going on with you and Little Tommy Q."

Jude groaned and buried her head in her hands. She peaked out between her fingers and gave Mason a helpless smile. "Would you believe that I don't know?"

Mason's answer was a disbelieving smirk. "Uh, if Saturday night was anything to go by then I can probably just answer the question myself. Even _I_ was getting turned on watching you two together," he informed her.

Jude's eyes went wide. That certainly made it seem like a lot more had gone on than what either she or Tommy realized. "Maybe you can fill me in then, because Tommy and I can't seem to remember much of anything," she explained even though admitting that she was too drunk to remember was kind of embarrassing.

Mason's eyebrows rose incredulously. "You don't remember?"

Jude shook her head, letting her gaze rest on the tabletop. "I mean, I remember being on stage and Tommy singing with me, but after that…. it's all kind of a blur until I woke up in bed with him."

Mason's eyes got big. "You slept with him? Was it _hot_?"

"Mason!" 

"What? The man's a walking orgasm. And it's not like you haven't noticed, especially when those bedroom eyes of his seem to be constantly directed at you."

The words _orgasm_ and _bedroom_ in relation to Tommy stuck in Jude's head and she was glad for a reprieve when the waitress brought their drinks. She purposely avoided Mason's anxious gaze and focused her attention on swirling the ice in her soda with a straw, hoping he'd move on to another topic, knowing that she couldn't be that lucky. 

"So you were in bed together? Can't say I'm surprised. You did spend the entire night groping each other."

Jude thought Mason was enjoying this a little too much. Clearly he relished her embarrassment over the whole situation. Her eyes narrowed as she looked at her friend. "I don't remember any groping, and for the record, there was also no sex," she told him with a half whisper. 

Mason didn't seem to believe her. 

"I'm serious Mason. The whole thing is just crazy. And at this point, I could care less that I don't remember Saturday night. I'm too busy being confused by what happened on Sunday, after we woke up. I mean, he was really sweet and made me breakfast and then we were sitting at the table eating and he was teasing me like he always does and then he kissed me…sort of."

She knew she sounded crazy, but she had to vent to someone. She couldn't tell Sadie and didn't think that Kwest would enjoy hearing about it either. Truthfully, she had no other girl friends to just hang out with and Tommy had taken on the role of best friend very quickly after his return. That only left Mason.

He took a sip of his hot tea and offered Jude a confused look. "How do you 'sort of' kiss someone?"

"Well, I mean, we were talking and he was smiling and then he leaned forward and our noses brushed and then our lips had just barely touched when my big-mouth sister showed up and interrupted the moment. So it wasn't really a kiss so much as a lip-graze," she reasoned.

A really, _really_ hot, make her toes curl and her lower belly tingle, lip-graze.

"Hmm…so then what happened? How did he react after that?"

Jude rolled her eyes and let out a soft sigh of frustration. "It's Tommy. So of course he just acted like nothing happened. Which I should have expected because he's never even broached the 'almost sex' from three years ago, so why would he bring up a mere lip-graze?"

"Wait, did you say 'almost sex'?" Mason's expression was one of rapt attention and disbelief that he was only now hearing about this.

Jude flushed again and looked away, her hands now fidgeting with the paper napkin wrapped around the silverware. She hadn't revealed this much to anyone in years. "Uh…yeah. One night we kind of…" her voice trailed off. "It was obviously a huge mistake because two days later he and Angie took Brady and left town."

Understanding seemed to dawn in the perceptive cowboy's eyes. "And you think that's why he left? Because of you?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. He never explained and I couldn't bring myself to ask when he came back. And honestly, I was okay pretending that it never happened."

"Liar." Mason blurted out.

Jude's head shot up. "What?"

"You heard me. You're a big, fat liar. I was still here then and you moped for weeks after Tommy left. And then you showed up in Barrie for my show and got completely hammered with that guy because you were trying to get Quincy out of your system. At least that's what you told everyone at the bar that night."

At his words, Jude winced inwardly, color draining from her face. "Definitely not my finest moment," she managed to respond.

Mason looked thoughtful and said nothing for a few minutes. Jude wasn't sure that a quiet Mason was a good thing. He finally broke the silence. "Okay, so let's fast forward to three years later. He's the sensitive, but slightly damaged, good-looking, single dad and you're the young, nubile, extremely attractive babysitter and former music protégé. It's like a Harlequin romance novel waiting to happen."

Jude's nose scrunched up with distaste at his description. "It's not like that at all. He and I are friends."

"But you want more," Mason prompted.

Jude shook her head. "No. I can't do that to myself again. Things are different now. I'm not that same naïve girl with a crush on her producer."

"Exactly!" he exclaimed. "So why can't you see where things could go _now_? He's no longer your producer, no longer married and I'd say that almost anyone who watches entertainment news has seen the clip of you two pressed up against The Vinyl Palace back wall teasing each other."

Jude's shoulders slumped. "Drunken escapades aside, I'm actually…scared," she admitted. "What if I put myself out there and he doesn't feel that way about me? There's too much between us…I don't want to lose him or the boys from my life."

Mason sat back in the seat, arms crossed over his chest. "Love is all about taking risks, Jude. If you don't, then it really doesn't mean anything."

"I…" her voice trailed off. 

Mason was completely right. 

So why did it seem so impossible? Why did her brain keep telling her that it would be wrong to try to be anything more than friends with Tommy? Especially when her heart was doing flip flops over every single touch and all of her late night musings seemed to revolve around reliving that night three years ago, only this time without interruption.

It wasn't like she was an insecure person. She was attractive, smart, funny…maybe a little clumsy at times, but overall she was an excellent package. So why did the mere idea of revealing the full extent of her feelings to Tommy transform her into a quivering mass of insecurity?

"What if he rejects me?" She voiced the question, her words anguished and slightly shaky as her mind conjured up scenes of rejection and heartache.

"What if he doesn't? You can 'what if?' until the cows come home, but you'll never know the real answer until you ask the question," Mason said pointedly.

Jude thought about Mason's words for the rest of the day, debating internally over her next step. One minute she was determined to just blurt it all out, lay it on the line for Tommy. Then the nervous butterflies would set in and she'd start to feel nauseated. Her face would flush, her whole body getting tingly and too warm. She'd never be able to tell him if just the mere thought made her sick enough to want to throw up. 

But there was a small part of her that could fight through the nerves, the part of her that remembered the way Tommy looked at her sometimes, like she was amazing and amusing and he wanted her. She'd seen his eyes darken at the kitchen table that morning, had felt his breath on her face, felt his lips brush hers. There was something there. It was hard to let that small niggle of hope come to the surface, though, especially when she'd been pushing it back for so long. She'd had hope as a teenager, only to be crushed countless times and that was before he'd ever kissed her. She needed to be careful not to read too much into his actions, because that was a certain path to heart break.

Mason's words still danced around in her head though. Love was about taking risks…taking chances, falling off the edge even when there wasn't necessarily someone to catch you.

Those words bubbled up inside her as an idea began to form and she knew what she needed to do. Sometimes conversation wasn't easy, but if there was one thing Jude knew how to do, it was write a song. Maybe if she could put it into words that way first, she'd be able to tell him…some day.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Jude ushered Braden and Noah inside the front doors to G-Major. Braden carried a brown lunch bag packed with sandwiches while Noah clutched a bottle of water in his arms. "C'mon guys. Let's go find daddy." She guided them through the lobby and back toward the studios.

It had been an incredibly long week and it was only Thursday. Tommy had worked late every night, not even making it home in time to tuck the boys into bed. He called from the studio to tell them goodnight, but Jude knew that it wasn't the same as actually being there and that he missed the boys. He always sounded tired when he called, and if it wasn't for that, she might have thought he was trying to avoid her. He almost seemed distant, but she knew she was just reading too much into things. That's why she decided to surprise him with dinner and a visit.

They found the studio where he was working. He and Kwest were leaning over the soundboard, headphones on while a girl that looked like a clean cut Britney Spears type sang in the recording booth.

They watched through the door and Noah abandoned his water bottle to bang on the glass, but Jude grabbed his hand, whispering for him to be patient. They were obviously in the middle of recording and she didn't want to interrupt, especially when she knew how much trouble they were having with Colby.

Both men looked intent, but Tommy shook his head and quickly spoke into the mic in front of him. Colby, at least that's who Jude assumed it was, looked annoyed at Tommy's words and threw off her headphones. 

Jude could see a diva fit coming and quickly knocked on the glass to try to get Tommy's attention before anything happened in front of the boys. The boys immediately followed suit and started to pound on the glass with their little fists.

Tommy looked over, startled at first, but quickly breaking out into a huge grin. He said something to Kwest, rolled his eyes in Colby's direction and got up from his chair. The door to the studio swung up and he knelt down, scooping both boys up into a hug.

"What are you guys doing here?" he asked, pleasantly surprised.

Braden pulled out the sack that was squished between him and Tommy. "We gots dinner fow you, Daddy," he explained.

Jude smiled. "It's just PB and J, but I thought you might be able to take a break to eat with us."

Tommy grinned. "That would make my day." He blew a raspberry against Noah's cheek and the little boy squealed and threw his arms around Tommy's neck. He stood up, both boys in his arms, and handed Braden off to Jude while he shifted to hold Noah more securely. "We can go to my office," he told her. "Just let me tell Kwest."

Jude nodded and she and Braden headed off in the direction of the offices.

"Jude, can I haf a soda?" Braden asked as they walked across the lobby, past the hospitality area.

"Hmm…I don't know. Cause if you have one, then Noah will want one and then daddy will probably want one and I'll want one…" 

"Pwease!" He gave her a pleading look that reminded her so much of Tommy that she couldn't say no. So they ended up raiding the G-Major refrigerator before making it to Tommy's office. Tommy was sitting on the floor with Noah.

"What did you find?" he asked Braden, who had insisted on carrying the cans of soda himself.

"Soda. Jude said jus dis once we could haf it," he explained to his father.

Tommy smiled and helped him set the cans down. "Do I get some?"

Braden nodded. "Yeah, but you gots to share the yucky stuff with Jude."

Tommy looked at Jude for an explanation. "The diet. I told him that little boys couldn't have that stuff, only big kids. So he decided to have root beer."

Jude and Braden made themselves comfortable on the floor next to Tommy and Noah who was impatiently digging through the brown bag for his food. As they ate, Braden told Tommy all about pre-school, his mouth full of peanut butter as he talked. She let him talk with his mouth full, not wanting to interrupt the father-son discussion.

"…and den I said dat girls was yucky," Brady finished dramatically and reached to take a drink from his soda. Tommy helped him balance the can as Jude made a face at Braden's words. "Hey, that's not very nice. I'm a girl and I'm not yucky, am I?"

Brady shook his head. "You not a girl, Jude," he told her matter of factly.

"I'm not?" She exchanged an amused glance with Tommy.

"No, you's the mommy," he explained, giving her a 'duh, don't you know that' look.

Tommy's face went blank at Braden's words and Jude could tell that he wasn't sure how to respond. She quickly jumped in, pasting a smile on her face. "I'm not the mommy silly," she said with the best teasing tone she could muster. "I'm just Jude, remember?"

"da othewr kids gots mommies though," Braden insisted. "dat pick 'em up fwom school like you pick me up."

Tommy's expression changed and he glanced at Jude briefly before pulling Braden onto his lap. She looked away and reached for Noah, who was a sticky mess from eating his sandwich. "I'm gonna go wash Noah off. We'll be right back," she told the other two as she lifted Noah into her arms and headed for the bathroom. She was taking the easy way out, leaving Tommy alone with Braden to explain the 'mommy' thing to him. A small part of her wanted to hear what he would say, but another part of her, the part that she was trying to ignore, really wished that Tommy didn't have to explain anything.

But she wasn't their mother…would never be their mother.

With a sigh, she kissed Noah's sticky face, tickling his tummy as she walked with him to the women's bathroom. It took a few minutes and several paper towels to get him cleaned up. He liked splashing in the water and Jude ended up with a wet shirt, not a completely unusual occurrence. The only difference was that she was wearing kid proof clothes. Her vintage t-shirts had been replaced with plain shirts that she didn't care about getting stained or dirty. And they always did, because little boys, especially Noah and Brady, always managed to get dirty.

"Let's go, little man," she let Noah down to walk, holding his hand as they made their way out of the bathroom. She spotted Kwest as they were going through the lobby. Her brother-in-law was leaning against the counter in hospitality. A large sandwich sat in front of him, but instead of eating he was just staring at it. Something was definitely wrong. 

Noah was pulling on her hand, but Jude stopped and scooped him up and approached Kwest. "What's up?" she asked, eying him curiously. He looked exhausted and frustrated and about ten seconds away from a mental breakdown.

"Colby's really pissing me off," he started.

"Uh…little ears," Jude reminded him in a singsong voice. 

Kwest's eyes darted to Noah, who was perched on Jude's hip, his fingers intently playing with the buttons on Jude's shirt. He offered a quick 'sorry' before continuing his rant. "We've got jack squat for her last couple of songs because she's not 'feeling' them. I'm at the end of my rope and I think Tommy's getting there. We've tried everything."

"She's not writing her own stuff?" Jude knew a little bit about Tommy's frustrations with Colby, but it had clearly escalated since the last time they'd talked.

Kwest shook his head. "Nope and we've already used three songs that you wrote for Darius." He paused. "I don't suppose you've got anything new worked up?" The question was half-hopeful and a little bit pleading.

She definitely had songs worked up, but whether she wanted to give them up was another story. "It depends on what you're looking for," she finally answered.

Noah started to squirm in her arms and she let him down. "Go find daddy, baby," she instructed. He quickly ran off toward Tommy's office.

"Can you stick around and listen to a couple of the songs we've actually finished? I think we could use your input," Kwest told her.

Jude shrugged. "I guess so, as long as the boys are okay." She glanced off in the direction of Tommy's office. She could see from where she stood that Noah was now there with Tommy and Brady. "Why don't we go do that now?"

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Tommy was stunned by his son's statement. He hadn't thought an explanation about mothers was going to be necessary so soon. And part of him wanted to avoid the entire thing and just let Brady go on without correcting his assertions about Jude. He could hardly argue with the little boy's logic. Jude had certainly filled a void by taking on the role of caretaker and he could see how that might be confusing.

As Jude rushed out of the room with Noah, Tommy settled Brady into his lap. "Hey, pal, daddy needs to explain something," he started.

Braden looked up at him, his blues eyes wide.

"You love Jude, right?"

Braden nodded. "She's da best. She gives good hugs and 'skimo kisses and she sings good."

Tommy smiled. "Jude loves you lots," he went on. "And she _is_ the best. I think so too. In fact, she's probably my best friend."

"Like Danny fwom school is my best fwiend?"

Okay, so Jude was more than that, but for the sake of his explanation Tommy would go with it. "Yeah, like that. Which is different than a mommy because mommies usually live with daddies." Another small lie, but still the best way to explain. "And Jude lives at her own place."

"Okay," Brady nodded. He looked thoughtful before asking, "Can she live wif us and be da mommy and your fwiend?"

There was no way to tell Braden that if Jude lived with them she'd end up being way more than Tommy's friend. Luckily the conversation was interrupted and forgotten as Noah ran into the office and tried to tackle Tommy and Brady where they sat. They ended up in a tickling match that lasted until Tommy realized that Jude was missing.

It shouldn't have been a surprise when he and the boys finally tracked her down in Studio A with Kwest. They were listening to a rough cut of Colby's latest song, which happened to be one that Jude had written.

Her face was intent as she listened. A battered notebook lay in her lap along with a yellow legal pad that she seemed to be taking notes on.

"Jude's gonna help with Colby's stuff," Kwest offered a quick explanation at Tommy's questioning look.

She was in the middle of writing something when Noah let go of Tommy's hand and ran over to her and tried crawling into her lap. Jude barely paused as she adjusted the notebooks to accommodate Noah. The little boy quickly settled into her lap, leaning back against her, his small fingers picking at the buttons on her shirt before he rested his head against her chest.

Tommy had to look away when she kissed his forehead, her eyes still glued to the notebook in front of her. The gesture was so natural and automatic. Even while she was lost in thought, concentrating on something else, she still had room for Noah. She didn't push him away or tell him to go play while she was busy. It became glaringly obvious that somehow, without any of them really knowing it, Jude had become the mother the boys had never known. He could see it in her face; in the way unconditional love for them shone in her eyes and in the way she was always gentle but firm with them when they misbehaved. And she just instinctively knew what they needed, even if it was just to be held for a minute.

How had he let this happen?

How had he not seen it?

Jude looked up as the song ended; her expression serious. "I like the way you guys mixed it. It's good." She paused, her face thoughtful. "I think that I might have something you could use. It's…uh…well, it's older and kind of rough. But it could be a good fit."

Kwest looked at Tommy expectantly, with hope in his eyes that maybe they'd found a way to finish Colby's album and regain their lives.

"Let's hear it," Tommy finally said.

Jude's eyes met his. "You think the boy's will be okay while we do this? I've got their book bags in the car. I know better than to leave home without a few toys packed." She smiled and Tommy suddenly felt like he couldn't breathe.

A thousand different emotions and thoughts were spinning wildly out of control in his head. He recognized the familiar attraction that he'd been trying to hold at bay, but it wasn't just lust, there was more there, something that he didn't quite understand.

He used the toys as an excuse to escape, to try to regain some equilibrium. He felt like he was fighting a losing battle. And he'd been fighting it ever since he ran into her at the grocery store his first week back in town. Fuck…he'd been fighting it since he'd met her. Might as well be honest with himself about that. 

He wanted her.

But he couldn't do a damn thing about it for a whole list of reasons, the least of which was the fact that his sons thought of her as their mother. There was also Darius' scheme to get Jude to do another album, which he still hadn't had the balls to tell her about.

After standing outside in the cold air, Tommy reasoned that the best thing he could do was nothing. He had to ignore the attraction, ignore the connection. There was too much at stake…too much in the way.

When he finally made it back inside, backpacks in hand, Jude was inside the recording booth. The boys were on the floor next to her, laying on their stomachs and coloring intently in a Spiderman coloring book.

"T," Kwest looked up from the soundboard. "She said you might have to rework some of the song, make it a little bit more pop-ish."

Tommy nodded and sat down in the empty chair. The battered notebook Jude had been looking in earlier was on top of the soundboard and Tommy reached to move it. As he did, a few loose papers fell out and he grabbed them before they hit the floor. Absently, he glanced at the pages and then stopped, his eyes fixated on the words of a song she'd never recorded. The date scribbled at the top of the page was almost eighteen months after he left. He glanced from the papers back to Jude as she stood in the sound booth. She was smiling down at the boys and he could hear her telling them what a good job they were doing with their pictures. He looked at the lyrics again before his gaze returned to her. How could she smile like that and keep a song that full of pain hidden in her journal? It didn't make sense.

Unable to just let it go, Tommy folded the loose pages of lyrics in half and slipped them into his back pocket. He cleared his throat as he tried to push the words and what they could mean from his mind.

"So what's the song?" he asked Kwest.

Kwest looked up from the levels he was adjusting. "It's called 'Tattoo'. She said it should go with the back beat we've already mixed."

Tommy nodded. "When will Colby be back?"

Kwest shrugged. "Probably not tonight, if her mini tantrum was any indication. I told her to chill and come back when she was ready to work."

Tommy rubbed at the knotted muscles at the back of his neck. "Hell, she'll probably never come back."

"Uh, we can hear you," Jude's voice interrupted. "Watch your mouth." She gave him a chastising frown. Tommy muttered an apology and quickly switched off the mic to the sound booth.

Kwest smirked. "I already got the little ears lecture earlier."

Tommy groaned. This was going to be a really long night.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

He was staring off into empty space as they listened to the play back of the song. They'd done a rough version using Jude's vocals to give Colby something to listen to when she decided to show up to record again. Tommy's head bobbed ever so slightly to the beat. It wasn't bad for one night's work. It probably could have been released as is, with Jude singing, and get plenty of airplay. Things like this were the only reason Tommy was trying to get Jude back in the studio on a permanent basis. If they could produce something this good together without trying, the outcome of a serious collaboration would be phenomenal. 

Kwest got up to go get a fresh cup of coffee and Tommy realized that, aside from the song, the studio was completely quiet, something that hadn't happened all night. There had definitely been a fair share of interruptions due to the boys. 

He looked up and quickly found Jude. She was sitting on the couch behind the soundboard. Braden was passed out, snoring softly on one end of the couch while Noah was cuddled up in Jude's arms, his round baby cheeks pressed against her shoulder. Her eyes were closed but he knew she wasn't asleep because her right hand moved gently up and down Noah's back.

Once again, the sight of her holding his son tugged at his heart, only this time he didn't want to look away. 

"What do you think?" he asked softly.

A smile lifted the corners of Jude's mouth and then her eyes fluttered open. "I think that it'll be great. Especially when you get Colby in to sing it."

"Sorry I made you hold back on the vocals. She's uh…well, her voice isn't quite as powerful as yours and I didn't want her to be intimidated," Tommy admitted. He leaned back in his chair as he twisted around to face her more fully.

Jude chuckled at his words and he felt himself smiling in response.

"I think I'm going to take that as a compliment, coming from the producing Nazi," she teased.

He shot her mock glare. "Hey, I definitely toned it down for this session." And he had. He wasn't nearly as demanding as usual. Or maybe Jude had just been more willing to put him in his place. At one point, they'd been in the middle of a really good take when Noah interrupted and started to tug on Jude's leg. She had picked him up and motioned for Tommy to cut even as he was gesturing for her to keep going. She had glared at him. "You're son has to go potty," she said into the mic, the backing track music still playing. "I'm not going to demolish weeks of potty training just because you think we've got the perfect take." She took her headphones off then and left the booth with Noah. Brady trailed close on her heals asking for candy if Noah went on the big potty. Of course Kwest had been laughing his ass off, especially when they hit the play back and Jude's entire little speech echoed through the headphones. At that point, Tommy had realized that he definitely needed to relax. His kids were obviously more important than a demo song, despite the fact that he was a self-proclaimed perfectionist.

Jude smiled at him now and a soft sigh escaped her lips. "I think I'm gonna take these two home," she told him. "Can you help me get them to the car?"

Tommy nodded and stood up. He made quick work of picking up the few toys that had been left on the studio floor and shoved the items into the boys' backpacks. After that he helped Jude put their coats on as carefully as possible. If they woke up now, they'd be up all night and Tommy desperately wanted to get some sleep.

Jude took Noah and Tommy grabbed Brady along with the backpacks and they headed out to the G-Major parking lot. He helped get both of the boys situated in their car seats and gave each one a kiss on the forehead. He turned to Jude as he shut the backseat door. She was yawning, a hand over her mouth, followed by a shiver induced by the cold night air. Instinctively he reached out and rubbed his hands up and down her arms in an effort to keep her warm.

"You okay to drive?" he asked, concern apparent in his voice.

"Mmhmm…I'll see you at home," she whispered.

She was leaning back against the Escalade driver's side door and her eyes locked on his. He continued to move his hands up her arms, not realizing that he'd moved in so close to her until their bodies were pressed together, separated only by the layers of their jackets. 

His thighs brushed against jean clad hipbones.

"Yeah, see you at home," he whispered back. He meant to kiss her on the cheek. Just a soft peck, something he'd done a hundred times before, but she moved ever so slightly and his lips caught the corner of her mouth. The gesture was innocent enough, easily explained… if his lips hadn't lingered on the spot, unwilling to break the contact.

And then her mouth pressed fully against his.

His hands left her arms and moved until he was cupping the sides of her face, deepening the kiss as their bodies brushed closer together. A soft moan escaped her lips, parting them enough to allow his tongue entrance. The first thrust was eagerly accepted and immediately reciprocated.

Oh god, it was just as good as he remembered; the softness of her lips, the way she completely surrendered to the kiss, to him. He was equally engaged, pulled into it, unable to tear away from the hungry exploration.

Her arms moved from where they rested at his shoulders until her fingers brushed against the hair at the nape of his neck. Her fingertips were cold against his skin and he felt himself shiver at her tough. The motion pulled him back until he was staring at her lips, watching as she pressed them together before her tongue swept out and licked her bottom lip as if she could still taste him. He started to lean in again but stopped when his eyes met Jude's wide gaze. She looked startled and confused, maybe even a little bit dazed.

Her hands dropped from around his neck to her side and Tommy took a step away from her, releasing her from his grasp.

"I…I should go," she whispered.

"Yep," he managed to say with a short nod.

She turned around, her back inadvertently brushing his aroused front and he took another step back. Jude gave Tommy a shy, uncertain glance as she got into the driver's seat. He shut the car door once she was settled and offered a short wave before turning around to go back inside to the studio.

Hands fisted through his hair, pulling at the strands in frustration. Christ, what had he just done? He could easily blow off those other almost kisses, but this…this had been full contact. And he didn't even have an excuse. He'd still be standing there, kissing her, trying to memorize every crevice of her mouth with his tongue if she hadn't looked so damned surprised. That wasn't just crossing the line; it was leaping clear the fuck over it. Friends didn't do that; they did not kiss each other like horny teenagers, against the side of an SUV with two sleeping children inside.

Tommy made it back to his office and sank down in the desk chair, head buried in his hands. He wasn't sure what he was going to do when he got home. A confrontation was inevitable. Jude would want to know what the kiss meant and then they'd have to have a conversation that he'd been avoiding for years, one that he'd literally left town to keep from having. 

He was no good for her. He wasn't capable of being the kind of man that Jude deserved. He had too much baggage and if they were ever together, ever more than friends, he'd just drag her down. It's what had happened to Angie and he couldn't stand the thought of having Jude and then losing her because of it.

It was close to midnight by the time he finally made it home. He wasn't sure what he would say to Jude, but he needed to make it clear that the kiss had been a mistake, one they couldn't repeat. 

He didn't get an opportunity to tell her that though. When he got inside, she was asleep on the sofa, curled up on her side around one of the pillows.

He was a coward and he knew it. He should have woken her up, but instead, he crouched down next to her. His right hand brushed a stray lock of hair off her forehead as he watched her sleeping peacefully. She looked so young, vulnerable and innocent. He didn't understand why he was so drawn to her, why everything in his world seemed to revolve around her. She was always there, not just physically, but in his thoughts too. When they weren't together, he wanted to be with her, to tell her something funny that the boys had done, or vent his frustrations about work. She just…_got_ him, like no one else ever had before.

He pulled a blanket off the back of the couch and put it over her. He wanted a shower and a few more minutes to figure out what he would say and then he would wake her up and talk to her. 

But that wasn't to be. When he came back to the living room a half hour later, the blanket was tossed carelessly onto an empty couch. Tommy went over to the front window and glanced out to see that her car was gone. As much as he'd wanted to avoid any kind of confrontation about their relationship, he hadn't expected her to bolt.


	9. Chapter 9

Part 9

"Okay. Next item of business," Darius said from the head of the conference room. They were having a staff meeting of sorts, working out some scheduling issues for artist appearances and studio time. Tommy and Kwest were both present and taking notes on the action items that pertained to them.

"We've been approached by a major movie studio to put together a soundtrack for a romantic comedy that's currently in production. It's pretty big name, A-listers from the States and Canada included. The soundtrack has the potential to be huge along with the movie. So, T and Kwest, I'm handing it off to you two. You'll be working with the movie's producers and director on putting it all together. For the most part, it's just going to be about song choice. But they've requested several original songs, preferably by our big name artists. Karma's already on board and has sweet-talked J.D. Harris into writing a track. The demo was on my desk this morning." Darius reached out and snagged a fairly nondescript CD jewel case from the top of the table and held it out.

Tommy was seated at his right and didn't hesitate to grab it, examining Jude's illegible scrawl. "Don't You Dare," was slanted across the disc in thick black lines.

"I'd like to have you record it with Karma as soon as possible," Darius went on, still addressing Tommy and Kwest. "SME's working on another song and I've got a couple of other artists in mind, if they've got anything for us to listen to. For now, aside from Colby's album, this is top priority."

Kwest nodded, but Tommy was still staring at the CD. 

When could Jude have possibly had time to record it, especially without him knowing?

Kwest nudged him and he finally looked up and acknowledged Darius' words. He spent the rest of the meeting nervously jiggling his leg under the table until they were dismissed. He was out the door before Kwest was even out of his seat, and went straight down the hall to his office, impatient to listen to the track.

He'd just put it into the CD drive on his computer when Kwest strolled into the office. "Where's the fire?" Kwest's amusement was not lost on Tommy, but he only offered him a half glance as he focused on the computer screen in front of him. 

"I didn't know she was working on this," he said. That probably didn't really mean a whole lot to Kwest, but he'd been pouring over all of her music lately and she'd been telling him about some of her writing. Hell, he'd even helped her record the last few sets of demo's she'd sold to Darius. But she hadn't mentioned working on music for a movie soundtrack.

Kwest sat down in the empty chair across from Tommy's desk. "Does she show and tell all her music with you?"

Tommy stopped mid-click and looked around the side of the computer screen at Kwest. "She just never mentioned it, that's all." He frowned, wondering why she hadn't said anything and when she would have had time to record the track. If she wasn't at school, she was with the boys or with him. Unless she'd done it over the weekend. 

"You look pissed. It's not really that big of a deal…" Kwest was staring at his friend, waiting for Tommy to talk, to explain what the real issue was.

Tommy sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, dislodging the carefully gelled strands, the gesture conveying a combination of frustration and distress. "It is if you kiss a girl and she runs out on you before you can talk about it," he admitted.

Kwest's eyebrows rose. "Really? Can't say that I'm completely surprised. It's been a long time coming. But she bolted on you?" Kwest was clearly surprised that Jude hadn't stuck around after the fact.

Tommy nodded. "I thought she'd want to talk about it, to figure out what it meant. Instead it kind of seems like we're avoiding each other."

"When did this all go down?"

"Last Thursday night. It sort of happened in the parking lot before she took the boys home." And now it was Monday. He'd spent the whole weekend going back and forth about what to do. He'd even tried calling her, but she hadn't answered her phone. He wasn't exactly sure what to think about that. Maybe he'd assumed too much thinking that kiss meant something to both of them. Or maybe she'd recognized what he had, that it would complicate things. Only clearly it was too late and things had changed which was exactly what he'd wanted to avoid.

"Maybe she's just trying to process," Kwest suggested.

"Yeah, and now suddenly there's a new song…" his words trailed off and understanding dawned in Kwest's face.

"And because it's Jude, she probably wrote about it and you think it's this song. There's only one way to find out," he nodded toward the computer.

Tommy hesitated, looking back and forth from Kwest to the computer screen. "Maybe I should listen to it by myself."

Kwest shrugged. "If it's any good the whole world is gonna be listening to it. And besides, it might not have anything to do with you, especially since it's for Karma to sing."

Tommy gave in, knowing Kwest was right. He clicked the play button on the track and the opening bars of the song began. The piano melody was haunting and when Jude's voice floated out through the speakers, he held his breath as he listened to the words, absorbing them. He closed his eyes, unable to focus on anything but what he was hearing.

_Dark cloud moving in  
Just one fall of rain, could wash away  
Wash away, the pain.  
Just one ray of sun  
To warm my skin   
Rid me of the cold you're drowning in_

I could say that I don't care  
But the truth is, I'd follow you anywhere  
I've been waiting such a long, long time  
Don't you dare change  
Your mind

He wondered if she knew that he'd be listening to this, knew that he'd be picking it apart for meaning. It was almost like she'd been reading his mind these past couple of days and knew exactly what he'd been thinking, about his past, about her. He'd already admitted that he wanted her. But wanting someone wasn't always enough. He'd wanted Angie at the time and it had destroyed her, made her into someone that he no longer recognized. He'd introduced an innocent girl to a life of partying and excess and she'd gotten so caught up in that she'd become a different person. Now there was Jude, she'd always been a little too naïve for the business she'd gotten herself in. And he liked that about her. But what would happen if they were together? Would he ruin her too, destroy some of the innocence that she possessed?   
_  
Seems so close to me,  
But still beyond my reach,  
Calling me  
and playing hide and seek.  
Look behind that door  
I'm the one you've been searching for  
And I'm not a little girl anymore  
_

She was telling him what he wanted to hear, that his feelings weren't one-sided. And despite the fact that she'd been fifteen when they met, they'd always connected. It wasn't wrong to feel that way anymore. In fact, it was more than okay. Everything she'd done since he'd come back had proven that she'd grown up, maybe even moved on from the past that they'd shared together.

_I could say that I don't care  
But the truth is, I'd follow you anywhere  
I've been waiting such a long, long time  
Don't you dare change  
Your mind_

Don't wander round looking for someone to replace me  
Don't wander round wasting the rest of your life  
Don't wander round waiting for someone else to save you  
And don't you make the same mistake, twice

The last time their lips had touched he'd left her for three years, afraid to come back and open himself up to a world full of trouble. He wondered if she thought he'd run away again. At the time he'd been trying to save an already failed marriage, something he hadn't wanted to admit because of youthful pride. And he doubted himself, doubted that he'd be able to make any kind of life with someone else when he'd failed so many times before. Jude was right, though, he couldn't run from it this time and he wasn't going to. 

_  
I could say that I don't care  
But the truth is, I'd follow you anywhere  
I've been waiting such a long, long time  
Don't you dare change  
Your mind  
_

Tommy opened his eyes as the last notes faded out. He stared blankly at the computer screen for a moment, processing everything he'd just hear and felt.

Kwest cleared his throat. "I'm, uh, guessing that was directed at you?"

Tommy looked over at his friend and nodded. "I think it was."

"What are you going to do about it?"

"Finally accept what's been right in front of me."

Kwest's face broke into a grin at Tommy's words. "It's about damn time."

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"Why the long face, dude?" Speid looked at Jude from across the couch. She'd gone over to SME's and her former rehearsal space. The band still kept it up and spent a lot of time there writing new music. Jude's classes were done for the day and she hadn't felt like going back to her apartment or over to Tommy's yet. Usually she went over and relieved Mrs. Du Tois as soon as her last class was over, but she needed a little space from things that reminded her of Tommy. 

To say that things between them had become awkward was an understatement. Thursday night after the kiss, the one that had practically left her panting in its wake, she'd fallen asleep on his couch, her mind exhausted from thinking about what to say to him when he finally got home. When she woke up, she could hear the shower running and without really thinking, she'd grabbed her things and left. For some reason, she hadn't been up to a post mortem. She hadn't wanted to hear him tell her that it was just a little thing, between friends, something that wouldn't happen again.

Not even a small part of her thought the kiss actually meant something to him. She'd be projecting her own feelings for Tommy onto him, if she allowed herself to think that way. He had pulled back first, he had walked away from her while she sat, dumbfounded in his car. And she had definitely noticed the look on his face. It had resembled the look he'd had that night three years ago. That 'Oh, shit, what did I just do' look that Jude was actually getting tired of seeing.

Friday she'd pretty much avoided him and he hadn't exactly been chomping at the bit to talk with her either. Their conversation when he'd gotten home from work had been stilted and awkward and she'd been glad to escape. Once home she'd found solace in her music, as always. Darius had called Saturday morning, waking her up far too early. In her sleep deprived mindset she had agreed to give him a new song for Karma to use, which led to an impromptu recording session Sunday afternoon. She'd left the demo for Darius that morning.

"My face isn't long," Jude finally told Speid. "I'm just…thinking."

"What about?" He was sitting on the other end of the couch, his hands moving idly over guitar strings, absently strumming.

"Nothing in particular. Thanks for letting me hang out for awhile, though." She offered him a weak smile, hoping he'd start talking about something else. Right now she really needed something mindless to occupy her time. 

"You're always welcome here, you should know that." 

That earned a genuine smile from Jude. She had to admit that being back at the rehearsal space felt good and right and she really had missed it. "It's good to see that things haven't really changed around her," she commented, her voice teasing as she took in the surroundings.

Speid laughed. "Yeah, the guys and I kind of liked the vibe we had going on. Seemed silly to change it. Although Karma was seriously pissed when I wouldn't let her redecorate."

"I'll bet. Speaking of the little woman. You hear from her today? I left a new song with Darius for her to record."

Speid nodded. "Yeah. She called earlier this afternoon. Apparently they all went nuts over your demo. Although she was little concerned that it wasn't quite her style of music."

Jude's eyebrows furrowed with confusion. "Huh? That song was written specifically with her voice in mind. I purposely put a sort of R & B spin on it. I can't believe she didn't think it would work."

Speid shrugged. "Hard to say. She sang me the chorus and it did seem a little more in line with your old style. It was also a tad depressing."

"What? Depressing. 'Next To You' is not depressing. In fact…"

"I thought it was call 'Don't You Dare'?" Speid interrupted.

Jude froze. 

No.

It couldn't be.

She hadn't? Had she?

She quickly scrambled up from her lotus position on the couch and reached for her messenger bag. Sunday when she'd been at the studio she'd recorded more than one demo. The first had been for Karma; the second had been a really rough version of another song, one that she hadn't meant for anyone else to hear. She dug through the bag, almost frantically until she grasped the jewel case in her hand. She cringed as she looked at it, the words 'Next To You' written in bold black strokes.

She'd given Darius the wrong song. 

Shit!

Why did she always do stupid things like this? 

'Don't You Dare' was entirely too personal a song and she hadn't wanted to share it with anyone, least of all the entire staff of G-Major.

"Don't worry so much, Jude. Karma said Tommy was going to work on it some more, see what he could do with it." Speid was trying to assure Jude, but a confirmation that Tommy had listened to the song was the last thing she wanted to hear.

"I think I'm going to be sick," she finally said, looking up from the CD in her hands.  
"This is the song Karma was supposed to get." Jude shoved the disc into Speid's hands. "The one everyone is talking about was something I wrote for myself. No one was supposed to hear it," she explained. 

"You write it for LTQ?" Speid looked at her knowingly and she realized then that she was more transparent than she thought.

"Not the point."

He shrugged. "Just go with it. At least he knows how you feel, right? Now maybe you can just…do it and get it over with."

Jude grabbed the first thing her hand came in contact with and tossed it towards Speid's head. "You're lucky that was a pillow," she told him crankily as he protested her throwing things.

"Whatever, dude."

Jude stood up from the couch and grabbed her bag. "I better go. I need to call Darius and do some damage control." Truthfully she wanted to go crawl into a hole and hide so that no one could find her. She was seriously mortified. And the only thing that would be worse was if Tommy continued to act like nothing had happened.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

"Tom, we'll meet you at the restaurant?"

They were standing around Darius' office, networking with a group of European distributors. Darius was promoting Colby's new album alongside several other popular G-Major artists. Tommy had been called into the meeting mid-afternoon to help talk up the music and the artists. Now it was almost seven pm and the group was getting ready to leave for an expensive diner at Darius' favorite restaurant.

Tommy hesitated briefly but nodded to answer Darius' question. It had been a long day, especially after the revelation of Jude's song and all he really wanted to do was go home, see the boys and finally have the conversation he and Jude had been skirting around for years. They need to clear the air, put it all on the line. Instead, he was stuck going to dinner with a bunch of people he didn't know and didn't particularly care for.

"I need to make a phone call first," he told his boss before slipping out of the room to go to his office. As he walked down the hall, slim fingers wrapped around his forearm and stopped his progress.

"You're coming to dinner, aren't you?"

Tommy looked down at the manicured nails as they gripped his arm. He turned toward the voice and hoped his distaste wasn't clearly etched on his features. "Noelle…yeah. I'm going. I just have to call home first," he explained politely as he tried to casually remove his arm from her grasp.

The beautiful brunette stared at him expectantly. She was the daughter of one of the distributors. Darius had pulled Tom aside earlier to explain that Noelle was actually a very big fan of Boyz Attack. He'd also made it clear that Noelle had quite a bit of influence with her father, so Tommy needed to be especially courteous where she was concerned.

"Home?" she asked innocently, a perfectly plucked eyebrow arched with the question.

He knew what she was getting at and he was tempted to claim that he had a wife waiting for him, but Darius had rather publicly announced that Tommy was single, strictly for Noelle's benefit.

"Yes. I have two young sons. A good friend of mine is taking care of them for me. I need to let her know that I'm going to be late," he reluctantly explained.

"Oh, well, everyone else is already on their way. Why don't you use my cell phone to call on the way to the restaurant?" Her grip on his arm tightened as she pulled him towards the exit.

Somehow she maneuvered it so she was the only person riding with Tommy. His cell phone had died earlier that afternoon and conveniently, Noelle realized that she must have left hers at G-Major. Tommy apologized but explained that he'd have to stop at home to let them know he was going to be out late.

He pulled the Viper into his driveway and instructed Noelle to stay put in the car while he ran inside. At least this way he could tell the boys goodnight and maybe at least hint to Jude that they needed to talk about where their relationship was going to go.

As soon as he opened the front door, his senses were assaulted with the sounds of The Beatles and Jude. The scent of something baking wafted through the air and got stronger as he neared the kitchen where the music played loudly.

Normally lazy blue eyes got big as he took in the sight of things from the doorway. The kitchen was a mess. There were pots and pans everywhere. The table was loaded down with cookie sheets, each littered with dozens of overly dark cookies. Every surface was covered.

'Lucy In The Sky with Diamonds' played through the Bose stereo system that he'd set up on the counter top and he could see Jude's iPod plugged into it.

Jude was standing by the cupboard, only partially facing him. Her clothes were covered with flour, twin child sized handprints decorated her butt and her hair was a tangled mess. Brady and Noah were seated on top of the counter in front of her. Tommy could see chocolate outlining Brady's mouth and Noah had a dough-filled spoon in his hand. They were laughing, singing along to the song while they ate cookie dough straight from a mixing bowl. Noah held out his spoon toward Jude's mouth and she took the bite he offered, smiling at him and telling him thanks. His grinning response was almost blinding.

"Oh. Oh…" Jude's eyes lit up and she straightened. "Here's the best part of the song. Remember?" She looked over at Brady as he nodded. The chorus started and both he and Jude began to sing. _"Lucy in da sky wif diamonds…"_ Jude smiled encouragingly as Brady continued to sing along and when the chorus was done she gave him a hug, unconcerned with the dough that ended up in her hair.

He watched it all like it was happening in slow motion. His senses were heightened, taking in the cadence of her laugh, her subtle, not quite graceful movements, and the sparkle in her eyes. 

And it hit him.

Jude was the one. 

He'd known it three years ago and it had scared him because he hadn't been able to trust his own judgment.

But she was it for him.

All the reasons for holding back and staying away were worthless. He'd spent so much time regretting his past and worrying about the future that he was missing out on what was right in front of him, what had really been there all along.

He loved Jude. Was _in_ love with her. And he needed to give into those feelings and start living in the moment.

"Dad-ee!" Noah squealed as he caught sight of his father in the doorway. Jude jumped a little, startled by Tommy's sudden appearance. Her cheeks flushed and she offered him a guilty smile.

"Surprise…we're making cookies," she told him. "I, uh…wasn't expecting you home so early. You caught us."

Tommy tilted his head to the side, his eyes lingering affectionately on her face as he took in the sight of her.

"What's the occasion?" he finally asked, unable to hold back his smile. It was taking all of his self-control not to reach out for her just then. 

"Is a suwpwise. We's makin' cookies fow pwe school and den to take ta work wif you," Braden explained, grinning at Tommy from his perch on the counter. His little legs hung over the side and swung freely in the air.

Tommy walked into the kitchen until he was standing directly in front of the boys at the counter. Jude stood less than two feet away. He watched her from his peripheral vision, noticing the way she nervously patted down her hair and tucked the strands behind her ears. "You two look like great helpers," he directed towards the boys and smiled down at them. 

This was the kind of thing that he wanted to come home to every night, happy kids and … Jude. It felt like a real family should feel like. Kind of perfect. He glanced at the kitchen. A little messy, but perfect just the same.

Noah offered him a bite of cookie dough then and like Jude, Tommy didn't care about getting messy and accepted the offer. "The dough's good," he told Jude. "But the …uh…the cookies look a little…" his voice trailed off.

"Burnt…they look burnt. I know. I should have taken Mrs. Du Tois up on her offer, but I really thought that we could do it. Brady's pre-school teacher asked all the mothers to bring in two dozen cookies for school tomorrow and I was just going to go buy some, but then I thought it might be fun to actually make them and…I'm, well, I'm a disaster in the kitchen." She admitted it with such good humor that Tommy couldn't help but laugh. He reached for her and pulled her into a hug. At first she was stiff in his arms, but after a couple of seconds she relaxed into the embrace.

It felt good to hold her.

Pulling back a little, she looked up at him curiously. "You're in a really good mood. What's up?"

"I can't just be in a good mood, glad to see my very favorite people?"

Jude's eyes narrowed. "Have you been drinking?"

Tommy laughed again. "No." His hands were resting on Jude's waist, and he gave a gentle squeeze, pulling her close to him as he smiled down at her adoringly. "I'm just…"

He didn't get the words out.

"Tommy Q? Where are you?" The feminine voice came from out in the living room and Tommy froze.

Shit. He'd forgotten about Noelle.

He felt Jude go rigid in his arms. She pulled away as Noelle walked into the kitchen.

"Oh, there you are," Noelle smiled as she came into view, her high heels clacking noisily on the kitchen tile. "Are you ready to go?"

Tommy glanced at Jude quickly trying to gauge her reaction. Her expression was blank.

"Going somewhere?" she asked, taking another step away from him.

"We have dinner reservations," Noelle spoke up, answering Jude's question before Tommy had a change. "You must be the _babysitter_." There was just enough condescension in Noelle's tone to be insulting.

Jude's eyes flashed with hurt before going blank. Her mouth thinned out in a fake smile. "I am. And you are?" Jude crossed her arms over her chest as she looked Noelle up and down.

Tommy had known Jude long enough to recognize that she was pissed. He could tell from her posture and the crease in her forehead that he needed to say something, quickly. "This is Noelle. She's the daughter of one of the European distributors," he explained. "We're supposed to have dinner with the rest of the group at Giovanni's tonight. They're waiting for us there. I wanted to let you know."

Jude wouldn't look at him. "Why didn't you just call?" Her voice was flat, almost disinterested as she spoke.

"My phone died," he explained. He could see her shutting down, right in front of his eyes. For some reason, she didn't seem to even care what he was telling her. 

"Tommy, we should go. They're all waiting," Noelle's voice was slightly impatient and he wanted to tell her to shut up. He couldn't leave, not when Jude was upset and clearly misinterpreting what was going on.

A timer went off and the boys, who had been silently observing and eating the chocolate chips out of the dough, made their presence known. "Da cookies is done," Brady announced.

Jude offered the little boy a weak smile. "They are." She turned her back to Tommy and went over to the oven where she grabbed the oven mitt that was sitting on the counter. He watched as she pulled out the tray of cookies and set them on top of the stove to cool off. 

"Well, you two should probably get going," she said when she turned back around. "Don't want to keep Darius waiting."

Tommy hesitated and reached out to take Jude's hand, but she evaded him and grabbed Brady from the counter and set him on the floor. "Give daddy a hug and then go wait for me in the bathroom. It's bath time," Jude instructed. 

Tommy knelt down and gave Braden a hug. "Good night, buddy. I'll see you in the morning, okay?"

Brady nodded. "I haf to take da cookies to school," he reminded Tommy. 

"Yeah. We'll get them there. Don't worry. Be good for Jude, okay?"

Brady gave Tommy a kiss on the cheek and then ran off toward the bathroom. Tommy looked up and took Noah from Jude's arms, repeating the good night to his youngest. Noah looked at Tommy curiously. "Hafta go?" he asked.

Tommy nodded. "I'll be back later, little man."

Noah nodded and offered a "Buh Bye, Daddy," before reaching for Jude again.

She still wouldn't meet Tommy's gaze. "Okay, well. We better go. Have fun." Her words were short, clipped and she was walking away from him as she spoke.

Dammit. 

"We should really go," Noelle insisted.

Tommy was at a loss. He didn't want to leave when Jude was obviously upset, but he also had a job he was accountable to. And truthfully, he was a little irritated that Jude was being so difficult. He could tell that she'd read more into the Noelle situation than what was really there and what was most upsetting was that she believed that he would kiss her the way he had and then take another woman out a few days later.

He led Noelle back outside to the car. When he got back from dinner, he and Jude would definitely have to talk. 

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

If there was ever a night Jude could have used a distraction, this one was it. Instead of their usual antics, the boys were perfect angels. They didn't give her trouble at bath time. There was no streaking through the house naked, or peeing in the tub. After their baths, they let her comb their wet hair and put on their pajamas. Then they cuddled up next to her on Brady's bed and she read them 'Goodnight Moon' before singing their bedtime song. No whining or crying or carrying on. No last minute trips to the bathroom or requests for a drink. They just did exactly what they were told, no fuss and were fast asleep before nine o'clock. 

Which left Jude with nothing but her thoughts for company as she cleaned up the mess they'd made in the kitchen. This was unfortunate because her thoughts weren't very pleasant. She replayed the evening in her mind. Everything had been great. She and the boys were having fun making cookies and singing. It had been a great way to get her mind off her embarrassing song mistake from earlier. Then Tommy had shown up unexpectedly. And while he'd been standing there, hugging her, she'd thought that maybe, just maybe he was going to tell her that he'd heard the song and that it meant something, that their kiss had meant something. 

Then Trampy McSlutsalot had come into the kitchen and interrupted. 

Jude stopped cleaning and sank down into a kitchen chair. She rested her elbows on the table, running her fingers through her hair.

It was obviously a date. That's probably why he was so happy.

And yet the bastard hadn't even thought to tell her. How could he kiss her like she meant something to him and then act like it didn't happen? 

Oh wait. That was his M.O. It was what he did best. Clearly that had not changed over the years. And she'd obviously deluded herself into thinking that she'd ever changed either. If she had she wouldn't have fallen into the Quincy trap all over again. She would have been strong, but instead it had taken one kiss to dissolve all the defenses she'd so carefully built around her heart.

_Dammit_. 

Tears prickled the corners of her eyes and she quickly swiped at them with the back of her hand. She was not going to cry over this. That would be stupid. He wasn't worth her tears. She got up from the chair, pushing it forcefully back into its spot under the table. She needed to keep moving, to focus on being busy so that she didn't have to think about Tommy on a date with that girl. That girl who had looked like she stepped off the cover of some fashion magazine while Jude had stood there looking like something the cat dragged in, covered in flour and dough and little kid snot.Two hours later Jude was sitting on the couch in the living room, guitar in her lap. She'd checked on the boys several times and then settled into writing some new music. A half empty bottle of beer sat on a coaster on the coffee table in front of her. Her notebook was open, a pen resting on top of the now full pages. 

She strummed the guitar strings, working out the melody to match the lyrics. 

_I'm over your lies  
And I'm over your games  
I'm over you asking me  
When you know I'm not okay  
_

Like every other song she'd written about Tommy, this was a valiant attempt to purge him from her system with angry words that she would never have the courage to say to his face.

_Oh and that's why your eyes  
I'm over it  
Your smile  
I'm over it  
Realized  
I'm over it, I'm over it  
I'm over _

Yeah, she was over it. She was not going to be a doormat any more. She would not come running every time he needed something, would not be his beck and call girl. There was no way she could be friends with him and listen to him blather on about the women in his life, not when she not-so-secretly wanted to be the only woman in his world. It hadn't worked three years ago and it certainly wouldn't work now.

_Wanting you to be wanting me  
No that ain't no way to be  
How I feel, read my lips  
Because I'm so over  
(I'm so over it)  
Movin' on and it's my time  
You never were a friend of mine  
Hurt at first, a little bit  
But now I'm so over  
I'm so over it_

This was definitely the wakeup call she'd needed. They'd been deluding themselves that being friends would ever work. It couldn't possibly, not when there was something else there between them, or at least there was for her. She had thought he felt it too, but that was clearly wrong. Especially if he was dating again. 

_I'm over your hands  
And I'm over your mouth_

There would be no more kisses.

_Trying to drag me down and fill me with self-doubt _

No more sleepless nights, wondering if he was thinking about her.

_Oh and that's why your world  
I'm over it  
So sure  
I'm over it  
I'm not your girl  
I'm over it, I'm over it_

"Jude?"

The voice startled her and her fingers faltered on the strings, missing the chord. Her head whipped to the side and their gazes collided.

Tommy stood in the doorframe, distress marring his chiseled features.

"Your home," she kept her voice as even and flat as possible, not wanting to betray any emotion.

He stepped more fully into the room and walked toward the couch. She stood up as he approached and moved away to put her guitar in its case.

"I know you're mad at me," he started.

She kept her face averted as she closed the latches on the case. "Why would I be mad?"

"It wasn't a date."

She shrugged, still not meeting his gaze as she tried to gather up the rest of her things. "It doesn't matter if it was. I'm just the _'babysitter'_ remember?"

"No. That's not…you know you're more than that." He was closer now, right next to her. She could feel him behind her and she tried to step away, to put some distance between them but he reached out and grabbed her hand to stop her movement. She quickly tried to shrug him off and ignore the way her skin flared with heat from his touch.

"It doesn't matter. Just…next time you've got a date, maybe give me a little bit more notice. I may just be the hired help, but I have a life too. I think that you forget that sometimes," she bit out, her face flushing with the angry words.

"Would you just stop for a second?" his voice rose and his hand caught her hip, forcing her to turn and face him. "I don't know why you're being so unreasonable. It was just business. There's no reason for you to pissed off."

"My reason is that you're inconsiderate," she said obstinately, not willing to back down.

"I said I was sorry." His voice had changed from angry to pleading and she purposely kept her eyes from meeting his. She knew that the minutes she got a glimpse of the expressive blue orbs, she'd be lost and give in.

It was one thing that she hated about him, how easily he made her forget everything else. 

Not this time though. She was standing her ground.

"No!" she blurted out.

He looked startled and took a step back. "No?"

She shook her head, ruffling her hair in frustration. "I can't do this right now, Tommy. I'm tired and you're right. I am pissed off. So just, do me a favor, let me leave. And if you'd be so kind, try to be home early tomorrow night. I have plans to meet someone and I'd really like to make it on time."

She finally managed to glance at him, hoping to see if her words had any affect. She wasn't disappointed. His eyes went dark, and the corners of his mouth tilted into a frown.

"You have a date? With who?" 

She bit her lip and looked away as she grabbed her guitar by the handle and swung her messenger bag over her shoulder. For a second she thought that he sounded hurt by the possibility.

"Like I said Tommy, I do have a life outside of yours."

She moved past him and willed herself not to look back. She kept her face forward and prayed that she wouldn't trip on anything as she made her way out to her car. She could feel him watching her and the last thing she needed was a massive klutz moment to mark her dramatic exit.

Twenty minutes later she was parking her car in another driveway. She left her things in the car and made her way to the familiar front door, ringing the bell. When Sadie answered, Jude was standing there, hands shoved into her front pockets and shoulders slumped. Her clothes were still dirty from making cookies earlier and the pathetic-ness of her appearance was enhanced by the tear tracks on her cheeks. She looked up at her sister, tears escaping as she spoke. "Oh god, Sadie…I'm such an idiot," were the only words she managed before she broke down completely.


	10. Chapter 10

Part 10

It was finished. Finito. Done. After weeks, no… make that months, of questioning and uncertainty it was finally over. Colby's album was complete. Tommy frowned. The same could probably be said about his relationship with Jude if the night before was anything to go by.

"What's with the frown?" Kwest asked, falling into the empty chair next to the soundboard. "I figured you'd be ecstatic about getting Colby's album done. No more headaches."

Tommy glanced at his friend and rolled his eyes. "Speak for yourself. My headaches have only just begun."

Eyebrows rose questioningly.

Tommy stared at the sack lunch laid out in front of him. PB & J, some carrots and burnt cookies. It was the best he'd been able to come up with that morning. Jude usually packed his lunch for him, keeping leftovers for him to take to work when he didn't have lunch meetings. Sometimes he'd find a note from her, or a picture from the boys. Not today, though and probably not ever gain. "Your sister-in-law and I had a fight."

The small studio filled with the sound of Kwest's laughter. "That didn't take long. What did you do?"

Tommy's head snapped to the right and he glared at his supposed best friend. "Why do you automatically assume that I did something?"

"Did you?" Kwest prompted.

Tommy sighed and sat back in his chair. "I had dinner with the distributors last night and that Noelle chick that Darius introduced us to yesterday decided to make me miserable by following me around. All I wanted was to call Jude and tell her I'd be home late, but due to unreliable technology, I ended up stopping at the house to let her know about the business dinner. Noelle was supposed to stay in the car but didn't listen. Jude misinterpreted things, thought I was on a date. When I got back from the restaurant later she ripped into me. Told me I took her for granted and didn't recognize that she had a life of her own." He took a deep breath and waited for Kwest's response.

"Wow. That explains the depressing lunch and those cookies," he teased.

"She actually burned those before she was mad at me," Tommy explained.

"And you're eating them now because?"

"Penance." Tommy answered with a small shrug, smirking a little as he remembered Jude's embarrassment over her culinary attempt. 

Kwest laughed again. "You've got it bad."

"I'm aware." He shook his head in acknowledgement.

"I say, just apologize and get it over with," Kwest offered the advice, a knowing glint in his eye. He had plenty of experience dealing with irate Harrison women.

Tommy gave Kwest an 'are you stupid' look. "Of course I apologized. Jude just wouldn't listen. And it gets better, because apparently she's got some kind of date tonight and I was ordered to be home early so she's not late." He was getting angry just thinking about it. Jude wasn't supposed to date someone else.

Kwest got up from his chair, shaking his head as he patted Tommy on the back. "You two will work it out. Don't worry about the 'date'. Just think about the make-up sex you'll get to have when this fight is over."

Tommy grabbed a cookie and chucked it at Kwest, hitting his arm as he made his way out of the studio.

"Careful, man. You could play hockey with those things," Kwest tossed over his shoulder, amusement in his voice.

Tommy swiveled his chair around to face the soundboard again. He grabbed the headphones and hit play to listen to the final track for Colby's album one more time. He was turning it over to Darius later that afternoon. 

He couldn't focus on the other singer, not when Jude kept popping into his head. When he'd gotten home the night before he'd been vaguely hopeful that he'd be able to smooth things over and finally admit his feelings to her. Then he'd walked in and heard the song she was working on. And those lyrics said exactly what he didn't want to hear. Over it. Not his girl. The only thing he wanted her to be over was being angry with him. And even if she didn't want to be, she _was_ his girl.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

The harsh reality of a nearly sleepless night and a morning that came too quickly left Jude hiding beneath the covers of her bed. After crying on her sister's shoulder for an hour and revealing to Sadie that she'd made the mistake of falling for Tommy, yet again, Jude had gone back to her place. She was exhausted, emotionally drained and she felt…foolish.

She'd been thinking it over, reliving her words to him and she knew that she'd overreacted. Her actions and behavior had been childish and Tommy hadn't deserved her wrath. He'd never been inconsiderate when it came to her time and watching the boys. And if she were honest, she'd never set any boundaries with him to begin with, so how was he supposed to know that he'd crossed the line. He'd also been pretty insistent that it hadn't been a date. Sadie had corroborated the story about the European distributors. Apparently Kwest had lucked out of it because he wasn't a former boyband hottie. Sadie also rationalized that Jude was probably overanalyzing everything when it came to Tommy because things between them were so sexually tense. That had surprised Jude. It had also been the end of the conversation because anytime sex got brought up, Sadie started probing Jude for information on her past experiences and Jude wasn't about to admit anything that personal to her sister.

After shutting off her alarm she pulled the bed comforter over her head to dull the sunshine coming through the bedroom window. She'd already decided that she wasn't going to any of her classes that day. There was no way she could concentrate and she wasn't up for the torture of trying. What she really needed to do was apologize to Tommy. She'd jump to conclusions because of her own insecurities instead of being a rational, grown up about it. She'd been expecting the worst from him and because of that automatically assumed it.

She flashed on the idea of possibly making Tommy dinner as a way to apologize. He loved Tortiere and she wasn't beneath using that to soften him up a little. The only problem was that she was a nightmare in the kitchen, especially if the cookies were anything to go by. Maybe she could sweet talk Mrs. Du Tois into making it for her.

Satisfied with that idea, Jude got out of bed and into the shower. She'd just finished washing her hair when she heard her cell phone ringing over the sound of the spray. She recognized Sadie's ringtone and quickly shut the shower off. She grabbed a towel from the hook on the wall and made her way to her bedroom where the phone lay on the night stand.

"Hello?" she answered somewhat breathlessly.

"What are you doing?" Sadie asked.

"I just got out of the shower. What's up?"

Sadie's end of the phone was silent for a minute. "Have you been watching TV at all today? Or maybe read the latest issue of 'Solid'?"

Jude's face scrunched in confusion. Sadie sounded odd. "No. Why? What's going on?"

"Maybe you should come over here. As soon as you get a chance."

"What? Why? Sadie, you can't just say that and not tell me the rest," Jude protested.

"Jude, believe me. This is something you need to see. Just, get dressed and get over here, okay?"

"All right. Fine. I'll be there in a few minutes." The phone clicked off and Jude stared at it for a moment, still confused by her sister's behavior. But she decided the only way she was going to figure anything out was to do what Sadie said. Not wanting to wait, she grabbed a pair of jeans and an old hooded sweatshirt from her clean clothes pile, shoved her feet into sneakers and headed out the door.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Sadie watched her sister with worried eyes. Jude was sitting on their living room couch, staring blankly at the TV screen. The Tivo was paused on the image. A Hollywood Undercover logo flickered in the bottom right hand corner of the screen. 

"Jude…are you okay?"

Jude shook her head, her eyes coming into focus as she looked at Sadie. "What? Yeah…uhm, I'm fine. I just…wow. I didn't expect to see a story like that…I mean…" Her voice trailed off.

"I know you've got to be upset," Sadie started.

"No…no. I mean seriously it's a trashy tabloid show. I know it's not true," Jude said, her voice less confident than her words. She glanced back at the screen. She and Sadie had just spent the last half hour watching a Hollywood Undercover story chronicling Jude's rise to fame and subsequent disappearance from the music scene. The most surprising part of the story had included Tommy. The show had actual footage of him and Jude together from three years ago. Without saying as much, they implied that there was a secret romance between producer and protégé, making Jude out to be some kind of adulterous tramp and showing pictures of Angie as the adoring, forgotten wife, which was a far cry from the actual truth. The insinuation didn't stop there. The story went on to show clips of Tommy and Jude and the boys, some of it filmed just in the last few weeks. In one clip Jude was leaving the grocery store with the boys. The reporter made speculative remarks about Jude's disappearance coinciding with Tommy's. The worst part was the insinuation that her absence from the spotlight seemed too convenient, the timeline matching that of the birth of Tom's second son, Noah, whom Jude seemed especially attached to. From there the story took another turn and showed clips from the SME concert two weekends back. Jude was onstage singing with Speid and then with Tommy. The report went on to say that rumors of a second album for Jude were becoming increasingly loud and that official confirmation had been given by Darius Mills in that month's issue of Solid Magazine.

"It's not true. I mean…you and I both know that Tommy and I didn't…well, nothing like that ever happened between us. I love Noah and Braden and I would claim them in a heartbeat, but they're not my kids." Jude knew she was babbling, but she couldn't help it. She felt like she needed to defend herself and Tommy. Worst of all she felt…violated. Again. Images from the past threatened to take over, pictures that she wanted to forget filled her mind. Her stomach turned, nausea forcing her head down between her knees as she tried to breathe. This was why she'd tried to leave G-Major behind. Because she didn't want this in her life, the false rumors, the speculation…the constant public scrutiny. 

"I know, sweetie, I know," Sadie rubbed Jude's back reassuringly as she tried to take in deep breaths. For a second they were both silent until Jude looked up. Concern was etched all over Sadie's features. "You probably don't want to think about this, but what about the stuff about Darius and his statement in Solid?"

Jude looked bewildered, her face pale. "I-I don't know. I haven't really even talked to Darius, other than to fulfill his requests for a few songs here and there. Every once in awhile he'll sort of teasingly ask me when I'll be back full time, but he hasn't pushed it. I mean, I guess I've never taken him seriously, anyway." 

She stood up suddenly, whirling around to grab her coat. "I have to go, Sadie. I have to see what that magazine says. I mean…it's probably just another crackpot story, right? He wouldn't say that without talking to me first. He's not that big of an asshole."

But she didn't really believe that. 

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

It was almost six pm when Tommy made it back to his office. He was done for the day and knew he needed to get home so Jude could go on her 'date'. He was tempted to show up late, but didn't want to make things any worse. As he walked into the small room, he didn't bother with the overhead light and reached for the small desk lamp. As he reached to turn it on, his arm brushed against something and he jumped back, startled. His hand quickly flicked the overhead light on and to his surprise he found Jude slouched down in one of the chairs facing his desk. Her face was pale, eyes red rimmed, clothing sloppy.

"What's going on?" He asked, immediately concerned. "Why were you sitting here in the dark?"

She looked up and panic filled Tommy's chest. Something was wrong. Very wrong.

"We need to talk," she started.

"Look, if this is about last night, I swear to you that I wasn't on a date with that woman. It was just business and I'm so…"

"I couldn't care less about your non-date. This is about something else," her voice was soft, almost emotionless as she picked up a magazine from her lap. Her hands shook slightly as she held it, eyes glued to the page. She started reading. "When asked what exciting things were happening in the near future for G-Major, Darius Mills grinned broadly, flashing a platinum smile to match the multitude of platinum selling records adorning his office walls. _'Jude Harrison put G-Major on the map six years ago when she won Instant Star. And we're thrilled to announce that her second album will be out before the end of this year. She's back and ready to take the music industry by storm. Tom Quincy is heading up the team and the album is more than half way done. Jude's kept a low profile, but continued to record and we're thrilled that those songs are going to finally be heard.'_" Jude stopped and looked up at Tommy. "Should I go on?"

He shook his head and sank down onto the edge of the desk, facing Jude. He didn't know what to even say. He'd been waiting for this to happen, had been afraid it would. But he hadn't been expecting this reaction. She looked so…broken.

"You lied to me." She didn't yell. But the hurt was so palpable in her voice that he felt the words like a slap and winced visibly.

"I…"

"Is this why you came back?"

"No. I took the job way before I knew what Darius was planning." Tommy rushed to explain. He didn't want her to believe that he'd purposely deceived her.

"But you knew and you didn't tell me. Even after we were friends again, you didn't tell me?" He could see anger flashing in her eyes as she spoke now and was almost relieved. Angry, emotional Jude was better than silent, stoic, hurt Jude. 

"I didn't know how," he admitted. He didn't even have an excuse other than that. He just hadn't known what to tell her, how to bring it up.

"So what was the plan? Huh? Explain it to me. Were you supposed to come in, befriend me, regain my trust, and convince me to come back? Or were you just going to take all of those songs Darius bought, reproduce them and then release them without my permission?"

"No. Jude…the only thing I've done since I've been back is listen to the songs. I haven't reproduced them. I've been sitting on the project, even though Darius wanted it to be priority. I was hoping he'd let it go, but then after the SME concert when you got on stage, he saw it as an opportunity to start promoting you again. I swear; I had nothing to do with it."

"I don't care!" Her voice rose and she tossed the magazine aside as she stood. "You could have at least warned me. Do you understand what this is going to do?"

He stared at her, watching as she paced, raking angry fingers through her hair, tears falling down her cheeks. "It's going to bring it all back and it's already started. This morning my sister called me to watch some trashy news report on how you were cheating on Angie with me and that Noah is our secret love child."

"Everyone that's important knows the truth." He tried to reach out to her, to stop her movement and get her to look at him. 

She wrenched his arm away from her. "What part of me telling you that I don't want to be a singer anymore, didn't you understand Tommy?" She bit out angrily.

"None of it!" He yelled back. "I don't understand it at all, Jude. Why would you just give up like that? You were meant to be a star. I've never met anyone as talented as you and you just threw it all away. I've spent months listening to your songs, wondering what the hell could have happened to make you walk away from it all!"

A deep heaving sob escaped her lips. "This is what I didn't want. I didn't want you to hear those songs and start asking questions. I didn't want anyone to ask questions and demand explanations."

"Well, it's too late. Because I _did_ listen to them and I _do_ want an explanation." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. He took out a folded up set of notebook paper and thrust it at her. "Explain it to me, Jude. Explain why you would write something so painful." The sheets were the lyrics that had fallen from her notebook the night they'd recorded Colby's song. He'd read them over at least a hundred times, unable to understand where something that painful could come from.

She took the paper, unfolding it, her hands trembling. Tears streaked down her face as she saw what he was referring to and she sank back down into the chair behind her, crumpling the pages in her hands. Her anger had dissipated, replaced once again with defeat. His first instinct was to comfort her, to try to hold her, but the way she held her body rigid, he didn't think she'd accept it just then.

"Where do you want me to start?" she asked brokenly, the words almost brittle, cracking with restrained emotion. "With the part where I was in love with you? How about with after you left? Or maybe the night that ruined my life?"

He felt his heart breaking as she spoke. He'd always suspected she felt something for him, but hearing her admit it…

"Here's the truth then," she went on before he could find his voice. "I thought I was in love with you. And maybe it was just some kind of teenage infatuation. The young girl and her older producer, but to me it was real. You were…my whole world back then. Everyone else had abandoned me but you were there, like a best friend. And then you just…left. I was a wreck because I kept thinking that it was my fault. I kissed you and crossed a line. I tried to call, to apologize, but you were gone. There was no word from you, not even a goodbye."

"Jude, I…"

"No. You don't get to talk right now." She said sharply, her gaze clashing with his briefly before she looked away, down at her quivering hands. "I tried to write you out of my system, but after weeks and weeks of shitty songs, it wasn't working. Everything just hurt so badly and I wanted to be numb. So one night, I ditched a charity concert I was supposed to perform at and went to Barrie. Mason was performing. I-I met a guy…" She stumbled over the words and more tears filled her eyes.

Tommy didn't want to hear this, didn't want to know what happened next, but he couldn't stop the flow of words. It was like a damn had burst free inside of Jude and as painful as it was for him to hear and for Jude to say, she needed to let it out. 

"He bought me drinks and the more I drank the more I forgot. By the end of the night I was so drunk I could barely walk. But I was numb, which was exactly what I'd wanted. The guy took me back to Mason's room and the next thing I remember was waking up sick that morning after. Mason was asleep on the floor."

Tommy let out the breath he'd been holding. He thought she was going to say something else, thought she was going to say…

"He took pictures." Her words cut through him, small and full of shame and he couldn't breathe again.

"He sent them to my house and my mother got them. He wanted $50,000 or he was going to the press with the story of my 'night of debauchery'. I didn't even remember what had happened. I didn't know…and the pictures…he must have taken off my shirt and…" 

The pain of the memory resonated from Jude and instinctively Tommy reached out to take her hand but she shoved it away, like she couldn't bear to have him touching her. 

"Mom made me go to the doctor and I've never been so humiliated in my life. I could have had some kind of disease. I didn't even know if he'd r-raped me or not."

He watched, his own eyes filling with tears as she leaned forward, burying her head in her hands, sobbing. His throat closed and he tried to keep himself in check. He felt like he'd just been punch in the stomach and he started to reach for her again, needing to hold her, but she pulled back, straightening in the chair, steeling her resolve to go on with the story.

"I couldn't tell anyone. Darius was the only other person who knew about the pictures. He took care of it for me, made sure they never went public. But that wasn't enough for my mom. She wanted me to back out of my contract. She kept saying that she knew I'd get myself into trouble, ruin my life, that this was just that start of my downfall. I could barely process it all…the pictures and what they implied… it all just hurt so badly. I did the only thing that I could. I gave up. I couldn't handle that life anymore. Especially when I found out mom was sick. She never wanted me to be a musician and all of those months she was dying, she kept reminding me and telling me that I'd brought it on myself. She wanted me to go to college and leave everything else behind me. I couldn't just give up music though. It was in my soul and it was helping me heal, the best that I could. A few months after mom died I even toyed with the idea of coming back, but then I found out about Jamie cheating on me and it was the last straw." Her tears had dried up. She wiped the moisture from her cheeks with the back of her hand.

"If I'd known…" he started, his words hoarse with emotion.

She actually laughed, the sound choppy and hollow. "If you'd known? What would you have done, Tommy? Would you have come out from that rock you were hiding under? I don't think so. If you had cared you wouldn't have left in the first place." Her words came out harshly and he knew he deserved them, deserved her censure.

"I would have been here for you."

"I don't believe you." Her eyes met his and he could see that she didn't. The trust that he'd worked so hard to develop had been crushed. "I always thought…" she paused and swallowed. "I always held onto the idea that you were the one person I could trust. You may have been a coward when it came to your feelings, but you were honest. At least I thought that was true. Now, though…"

"Jude, believe me…I've never lied to you." He couldn't stand the thought that she didn't trust him, that she felt like he'd betrayed her.

"Tell me why you left." The words were soft, demanding. 

He owed her this much. 

"I left because I was in love with you."

He heard her sharp intake of breath.

"I knew it then, but I-I was fighting it. I couldn't…I had already betrayed Portia to be with Angie and I was about to do the same thing to Angie. And I just kept thinking that I was going to ruin you. That if I gave in to what I was feeling that I would ruin you the same way that I'd ruined Angie." His voice waivered as he spoke, giving life to emotions that he'd kept buried for a long time. "Jesus, you were fifteen when I met you, Jude. Fifteen. At first I thought I just had a soft spot for you, but over those few years we worked together, those feelings changed. I had to try so hard to ignore them because you were everything that I'd wanted Angie to be. It scared me that I could be so fickle. But that night, when we kissed, I gave in to all of those feelings for you and it shook me. I knew I had to make some changes. I…I had to leave, Jude or I was going to make the same mistakes with you that I made with Angie."

Jude just stared at him, disbelief and shock on her face.

He moved away from the spot he'd been glued to at his desk and sank down into the chair directly next to her. His elbows settled on his thighs and he leaned forward, resting his chin on his clasped hands as he continued.

"I overwhelmed her. I was twenty years old when I met her and so ridiculously in love with the idea of her that I was…relentless. I pushed her until she gave in. She was too young, though, and she got caught up in the life style. The drugs, the parties… other men. All I could think when I looked at you was that you were so young, so innocent still. I had to put some kind of physical distance between us. Jude…if Braden hadn't woken up that night, I-I wouldn't have stopped. I wanted you. Badly. I wasn't even thinking clearly. I don't think I would have even protected you."

He felt her shift uncomfortably next to him and looked over at her. She was staring down at her hands, embarrassment flushing her cheeks.

"That's why I left."

After a second that dragged out for eternity she gave a curt nod, acknowledging his words.

They both sat there, neither moving, neither speaking. The silence engulfed them. 

Finally Jude spoke. "I have to go," she said softly.

Tommy's head snapped up as she spoke, eyes boring into hers, searching for something…anything. "What happens now?" he asked tentatively.

She was looking at him, almost like she was studying him, but not really seeing him. "I don't know. I just…" She shook her head and he could see tears pooling in her eyes again. "I need some time to myself. To decide what I'm going to do, about Darius…about you."

He reached for her, not letting her push him away this time, clasping her hand, squeezing it. "Jude…I need you to believe me, believe _in_ me. I would never purposely hurt you," he insisted earnestly as he stared into her big, sad eyes.

"I want to, I do…It's…this isn't just about you. Not anymore."

She slipped out of his grasp then, quickly moving toward the door as he stood rooted to the spot, watching her walk away, taking his heart with him. 

YYYYYYYYYYYYYY

When Darius entered his office Wednesday morning he was surprised by the sight that greeted him.

"Well, well…if it isn't my favorite girl. What's up Superstar?" He was all smiles as he walked in and put his briefcase on the ornate desk.

Jude wasn't smiling, though. She was tired; dark circles stood out prominently beneath her eyes. She'd done nothing but toss and turn the whole night. Unable to wait she'd gotten up and driven to G-Major first thing. She'd waited for Darius for almost two hours, she wasn't sure what she'd say, but knew she had to confront the man who seemed to control her future. "I think you know why I'm here. So let's just get this over with."

His mouth thinned as he took in Jude's less than cordial expression. "You knew this was going to happen."

"Excuse me?" Her eyes got big. "If I'd known, then I wouldn't be sitting here, wondering why I'm the last person to find out that my second album is slated for release before the end of this year. An album that I never actually finished recording." 

"I never released you from your contract."

"What?" She stared at him in slack-jawed disbelief. "I signed papers."

"Obviously you didn't read them." He took a seat in his oversized office chair and folded his hands across the top of the desk. "Those papers you signed allowed you to take some time off."

"But the original contract was for five years. Even if it was just time off, the contract's run out," she insisted. 

Darius shook his head. "No. Those papers were an agreement that you couldn't work with another record label until you had fulfilled your contractual obligations here. That means that you're still under contract with G-Major. Five years, or three albums and then a possible renegotiation. You owe me two albums."

"You know I can't do this, not anymore. I have a different life now, Darius. I'm going to school. I have interviews for grad school in a couple of months. I can't…" her throat started to close. "I don't want to be in the spot light. I just want a normal life."

"Which is why you still write music for my artists, right? And spend all your spare time with a still popular former boyband member?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you've had plenty of time to get away from this. But you always come back. You never gave up the music, Jude. And you certainly haven't given up your connection to Tom Quincy. If I had thought for one minute that you didn't want the chance to come back, I'd have cut you loose a long time ago. There are plenty of people out there that have the talent and the personality to make it big. But you've always been special to me and I'd hate to see you throw away something you once loved so much. You were a kid and you made a mistake. It happens. Just ask Tommy. You wouldn't believe the stuff he used to pull during the Boyz Attack days." He was trying to make light of it, but it wasn't something she could toss off.

"I was a 'kid'? I made a 'mistake'? Darius, I was eighteen years old. I thought that guy raped me," she blurted out.

Jude had never seen Darius speechless before. But as soon as the words left her mouth, he looked dumbstruck. His normally stoic features softened. "Jude…I'm sorry, I didn't realize…"

"It's different for guys. Tommy and the guys from Boyz Attack probably got away with tons of stuff. But if those pictures of me had gone public…That was an embarrassing and shameful experience and because of that I don't…I don't know if I can…"

"I'm sorry you had to go through that. But sometimes fame is intrusive and the public feels like it's their right to know about your personal life."

"Don't make me come back," her voice was soft, pleading. 

He shook his head apologetically. "One album. You've already got most of it done; I just need you to finish it."

Jude frowned. "We both know that it won't end there."

"Maybe not. But things are different now. You're older, wiser. You won't make the same mistakes. You can have more control over your image…"

She sat there, staring down at her hands as she contemplated his words. He owned all of her music. Even if she refused to return, he could release the songs she'd recorded and she'd have no legal recourse. And whatever he released would be out of her control. 

Finally she lifted her head, her gaze hard as she looked him in the eye. "I want a new contract. One album and ownership of my entire music catalogue."

Darius smirked. "What makes you think you can negotiate with me on this?"

"Because you've already told the press that the album is a sure thing. Don't make me fight this, Darius."

He rested his hands on top of the desk and studied her, gauging her seriousness.

"I don't think you'll really do that, Jude." His confident words angered her, made her want to walk out and never look back. Maybe she could borrow a page from the book of Tom Quincy and leave without saying goodbye. She could just disappear.

She was thinking of places she could escape to when she heard his next words. 

"You can have whatever you want," he conceded and leaned back in his chair. "One album and the rights to your music. But only because I think that once you're back in the studio and performing again, you're going to realize that this is where you belong."

When she left Darius' office a few minutes later, she headed straight into the women's restroom and collapsed onto the toilet seat of an empty stall. Her heart was pounding, the beat of it echoing, drowning out the sound of everything around her. She couldn't believe she was going through with it. All of this time she'd been telling herself that she'd done the right thing by walking away. But Darius was right. She hadn't really walked away. Even though she'd tried to move past that part of her life, she'd kept all her connections to it. She'd been unable to let go, because despite the drama, some of her best memories revolved around G-Major. Most of those included Tommy. 

She needed to get past being afraid. Realistically, those pictures were nothing. People more famous than she, did far worse. No one would care about intoxicated photos of Jude Harrison when Paris or Britney were flashing their hoo-ha to anyone who'd look. But at the time, it had been a devastating blow, mostly because she'd been so broken up over Tommy. And aside from being terrified of what that guy had done to her, she'd been ashamed and mortified about what Tommy would think if he ever saw the pictures. She'd been too young to process it all. Throw in an absent father, sick mother and cheating boyfriend and her world had imploded so that all she'd wanted was to crawl into herself.

She was stronger now, definitely smarter. And she was going to have complete control over the album. It was either going to solidify her decision to move on, or affirm that she belonged, not just at G-Major, but in the music industry. Either way, she'd finally be able to move forward, and it was probably about time she let that happen.


	11. Chapter 11

Part 11

Tommy had never been a big fan of mornings, had always appreciated working with artists who stumbled into the studio late in the day. When he worked with Jude she had school first so he'd never needed to be at the studio before 3pm. Having kids had definitely altered his sleep habits, forcing morning upon him much earlier, but it didn't mean he had to like it. Especially now that he'd spent a sleepless night tossing and turning over Jude and everything she'd revealed. Of course he'd done his fair share of confessing. It should have felt like a weight lifted from his chest. She finally knew why he'd left, knew that it wasn't her fault. In reality, he'd only managed to confuse things even more and he actually felt…guilty. So damn guilty. All of that pain Jude vented through her songs was, indirectly, caused by his poor choices. He'd understood when he first came back that some of her heartbreak had been his fault, but he hadn't realized just what effect his actions would have on her life. He'd left thinking to protect her from him when what she'd needed more than anything was someone to be there for her. He couldn't help but wonder 'what if?' If he'd stayed and confronted his feelings directly, faced up to his decisions like a real man instead of being a coward maybe she wouldn't have gone off to Barrie, wouldn't have met that guy, wouldn't have gone through any of the heartache that had ultimately made her want to give up.

Despite everything, he still believed that she belonged on stage, in the studio, making music. Which was the only reason he had dragged his ass to the studio so early. Darius had called, requesting Tom's presence. His first reaction was to tell his boss to 'fuck off'. Darius had handled the situation with Jude poorly. Anyone else Tommy would have given the benefit of the doubt that the Solid interview was an accident and he'd meant to speak to Jude first, but it was highly unlikely. Darius Mills didn't make mistakes like that, ever.

When Tommy got to D's office, he went straight inside. He was surprised to see Darius behind the desk, leaning back in his chair, hands folded across his chest, doing nothing.

"What's going on?" Tommy didn't wait for an invitation he just sat down in one of the chairs across from the desk.

"Jude's in the studio with Kwest," Darius informed him. He seemed almost contemplative and Tommy was a having a hard time reading him. For a second he thought he'd misunderstood, surely the man would have been more excited to achieve his goal.

"She's in the studio? Right now?"

Darius nodded. "She was here when I came in this morning." He paused. "She wanted to renegotiate her contract." He shook his head, smirking at the thought, like he couldn't believe it. If the smirk was any indication, Tommy would have liked to have been a fly on the wall during that negotiation.

"You know, I thought she was just going through a phase. That she was having a rough patch with her mom and got caught blowing off some steam. I didn't realize…" Darius' words trailed off into a troubled frown.

Tommy's brow furrowed as he finally understood. "She told you." As he watched his boss he thought he saw…was that remorse on D's face?

"I wouldn't have pushed so hard…would have done it all differently if I'd know what was really going on. But I blew it off. Boyz Attack was constantly in the tabloids for their escapades. Hell, Patsy Suhr was arrested a couple of times…"

"It was different for Jude. It wasn't just about her public image. It was how she _felt_ about the situation," Tommy interjected, knowing from everything she'd revealed to him the night before that it had gone much deeper than a few drunken photos.

"She can have whatever she wants," Darius finally voiced. "Complete control of the album."

Tommy studied D carefully, not letting his surprise show at the normally hard man's concession. "Why the change of heart?"

Darius leaned forward, pressing his hands flat on the desk. "When she first signed with me, I promised to take care of her, that I'd have her back. I've always had a soft spot for that girl, kind of felt like I needed to guide and protect her through the business. There's just something about her…"

Darius didn't have to say any more for Tommy to understand. Jude had this way of tugging at invisible heartstrings; the kind a person didn't even know existed until she effortlessly plucked at them. She was an awkward combination of fire and innocence, passion and naïveté and it made him want to shield her, hold her up on a pedestal and simultaneously shake her senseless for driving him crazy, making him want her beyond reason.

But he wouldn't change a thing about her.

"She might not want me on the album," Tommy ventured. If Darius was going to give her whatever she wanted, he highly doubted he'd be included in that scenario, not when she didn't trust him anymore. And he really couldn't blame her for that.

"You're all she's got. I've got Kwest working on the movie soundtrack full time now. He can help but he's not going to have time to do more than co-produce. Besides, she knows you're the best, T. Even if she's pissed, she wants you in there."

Tommy wasn't entirely sure he believed Darius, but the words were enough encouragement for him to make his way to the studio where Jude and Kwest were working.

As he reached the door to the studio, his hand hesitated momentarily on the handle and he took a deep breath before going in.

Jude was sitting with her feet up on the soundboard, a cup of coffee in her hands. Kwest faced her, his feet planted on the floor facing the side of her chair. As soon as they sensed his presence their cheerful conversation faded and Jude immediately frowned. She kept her gaze averted from Tommy's.

"We should record the song," she said as she lowered her feet to the floor and set the coffee mug down. "I don't have all day. I can't miss my afternoon class."

Kwest wisely said nothing as both he and Tommy watched Jude retreat into the sound booth.

"Sounds like you're gonna be doing penance for a while," he commented as he turned his attention to the board in front of him.

Tommy took the seat Jude vacated and watched as she set up the booth. She pulled out her acoustic guitar and set a stool up in line with the mic.

"I don't think there's enough burnt cookies in the world for that kind of penance," he joked half-heartedly, unable to tear his eyes from her as she moved. He recognized her anger by the way she held herself, body stiff, movements jerky.

He quickly made a decision and got up to enter the booth. She barely glanced at him as she settled onto the stool. Her guitar was in her lap, headphones in hand.

"Can we talk?" he asked tentatively. He needed to…well, he wasn't sure, but he didn't like this gaping distance between them. It was mostly his fault and he wanted to fix it, desperately.

She kept her head directed toward the music stand as she set her notebook in front of her. "I'm here to work, Quincy. If Darius is going to put out an album with my name on it, I at least want some say it what's going to be on it," she told him coldly.

Tommy sighed and rakes a hand over his face in tired frustration. "Jude, I wouldn't have let him put it out without your approval."

"Yeah, well, your assurance doesn't really mean a whole lot to me right now, Tommy." She spoke the sharp words dismissively and put the headphones over her ears, signaling the end of the conversation.

He stared at her for another few seconds, waiting for some kind of emotional tell in her expression, but her face was blank, eyes focused on the music she was about to play.

Tommy wasn't sure if he should even sit in on the session. If he asked, he knew Kwest would fill in, but he'd just be doing what Jude accused him of, running away. He needed to mentally prepare himself for the tongue lashing that he was about to receive through Jude's song. He knew her too well to expect anything less. She was emotionally creative. Everything that was going on in her life somehow translated itself into to new music, allowing her deal with everything, giving her an outlet.

He went back to the chair next to Kwest. He was going to stick this out, prove her wrong. He wouldn't run away, in fact, he'd be so available to her that she'd get sick of him. But maybe…maybe she'd see that things were different now and she'd be willing to forgive him once she realized that this was where she belonged.

_One night to you  
Lasted six weeks for me  
Just a bitter little pill now  
Just to try to go to sleep  
No more waking up to innocence  
Say hello to hesitance  
To everyone I meet  
Thanks to you years ago  
I guess I'll never know  
What love means to me but oh  
I'll keep on rolling down this road  
But I've got a bad, bad feeling_

It's gonna take a long time to love  
It's gonna take a lot to hold on  
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah  
Left in the pieces that you broke me into  
Torn apart but now I've got to  
Keep on rolling like a stone  
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy

Left my childhood behind  
In a roll away bed  
Everything was so damn simple  
Now I'm losing my head  
Trying to cover up the damage  
And pad out all the bruises  
Too young to know I had it  
So it didn't hurt to lose it  
Didn't hurt to lose it  
No but oh  
I'll keep on rolling down this road  
But I've got a bad, bad feeling  
It's gonna take a long time to love  
It's gonna take a lot to hold on  
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah  
Left in the pieces that you broke me into  
Torn apart but now I've got to  
Keep on rolling like a stone  
Cause it's gonna be a long long way

Now I'm numb as hell and I can't feel a thing  
But don't worry about regret or guilt cause I never knew your name  
I just want to thank you  
Thank you  
From the bottom of my heart  
For all the sleepless nights  
And for tearing me apart

It's gonna take a long time to love  
It's gonna take a lot to hold on  
It's gonna be a long, long, long, long way to happy, yeah  
Left in the pieces that you broke me into  
Torn apart but now I've got to  
Keep on rolling like a stone  
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy

He knew the song, knew the lyrics by heart because he'd carried them with him, analyzed their meaning. Now he knew where the pain had originated from, the place she'd been at when it was written. But nothing could have prepared him for the reality of those lyrics as a song. The raw power and emotion Jude evoked as she sang left him split open, aching for her and guilty as hell because things could have been so different.

He waffled between wanting to drag out the recording session for as long as possible to keep her in front of him and calling it for the day. Jude was being ultra-polite and business like, but she didn't outright ignore his suggestions. It was probably the smoothest session they'd ever had. They worked for several hours before Tommy actually glanced at his watch, aware that Jude had to get to her afternoon class.

"We can pick this up tomorrow if you need to leave," he said into the mic.

She answered with a curt nod and started to gather her things, her movements quick. Tommy was fairly certain she was prepared to make a run for it. "Do you want to hear the play back before you go?" he asked. That was something they'd always done before when he produced her, taking the last few minutes of their time together listening to their efforts as they began to sync together.

"Not today." She started to come out of the sound booth, her steps purposeful as she kept her face directed away from Tommy. She was trying so hard to avoid looking at him that she didn't notice his quick movement until he stood directly in front of her, blocking her path.

"Are we going to be okay?"

She didn't respond and turned her head away to look everywhere else but him. He couldn't stand the chasm between them and reached out, cupping her elbow in a small effort to connect with her, no matter how briefly she allowed the contact.

"Tommy…" she started to pull back.

"Jude, please," he pleaded, his fingers tightening his hold, not enough to be painful though. "After everything…I need you to know that you're important to me and I didn't do any of this on purpose. I would never want to hurt you. Darius didn't even tell me about his plans until weeks after I'd been back and then I just didn't know how to tell you."

She finally looked at him, her eyes flashing. "Fine. So it wasn't on purpose. You still lied."

"I know. It was wrong to keep this from you and I can't even begin to express how sorry I am. For the lying part." He paused and, keeping his left hand clasped around her elbow, cupped his palm over her shoulder. "I'm not sorry that it got you back in the studio like this, Jude. This is where you belong, Big Eyes."

Their gazes locked and held. He could see her internal struggle; see that she didn't quite know what to say to the truth that he'd just thrown at her. It was something he thought she knew deep down, but refused to admit.

Her gaze shuttered and she moved back, taking a step to distance herself and disengage from his touch. "I-I…I just need some time. I'm not sure how to act around you right now and I need you to give me some space. I'll probably forgive you, but you have to let me be mad for a little while. I've got three years of anger and resentment to work through." Her arms were crossed in front of her almost protectively.

Tommy winced. "I thought you took care of that with the song."

She shook her head. "Not even close. There's a lot more where that came from."

"I guess I can take it."

Her mouth quirked into a slight smirk. "That's quite the ego you've got there, Quincy. Who says any of it will be about you?"

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Tommy left G-Major early to get home for the boys. Mrs. Du Tois still hadn't relented on her hours and until now there hadn't really been much of a need for that because Jude usually relieved her as soon as her classes were done for the day.

"Hey, I'm home," he yelled as he walked through the front door.

"In here," Jude's voice drifted to him from the living room, causing Tommy to pause in his footsteps momentarily.

She and the boys were sitting on the living room floor. A game of Memory set out on the coffee table. Brady had a big stack of cards sitting next to him. Noah was in Jude's lap and she was helping him turn over cards to match them up.

"Daddy, I'm winnin'" Brady exclaimed excitedly, bouncing on his knees as he leaned against the coffee table.

"Wow, Brades, good job!" Tommy walked over to the chair next to Brady and sank down into it.

"Noah's jus' learnin'. Jude is helpin' him," Brady explained.

Tommy reached out and ruffled Brady's hair and then glanced over at Jude. Her head was bent next to Noah's as she coached him through his turn. Noah's grey-blue eyes lit up as he finally turned over an apple card to match the apple he'd already found. 

"Good Job!" Jude praised and blew a raspberry on his neck that earned an infectious giggle. "Okay, Brades. Your turn."

Brady eagerly leaned over the table to pick out his next match.

"You're home early," Jude commented, keeping her eyes trained on Brady.

"Uh, yeah…I wasn't sure you'd be here and…"

Jude's head shot up, surprised by his words. Her eyes narrowed. "I'm mad at you, Quincy, not the boys. Them I love."

The words stung a bit, but he was relieved at the same time, her words reassured him that she wasn't walking away from the boys. Angie was their mother and it had taken very little for her to leave. Jude had no responsibility to them but he should have known that she wasn't the kind of person who would let her upset with him filter into her interaction with his children. He knew she loved the boys like they were her own.

He sat back in the chair silently and watched them play their game. Jude made no excuses to leave now that he was home and Tommy decided not to say anything. When the game was almost finished he left them to go make dinner. 

He was cutting up tomatoes for salad when he heard squeals from the living room followed by the sound of little feet running toward the kitchen.

"Daddy I hungawry," Noah tugged on the fabric of Tommy's jeans.

"Yeah, daddy, what's for dinner?" Jude came into the kitchen with Brady balanced on her shoulders.

"I won da game!" He told Tommy with a toothy smile.

Tommy held his hand up for a hi-five and Brady slapped hands with him before Jude lifted him off her shoulders and to the floor.

Noah wanted his own hi-five and ended up getting tickled when Tommy picked him up from the floor. His little giggles filled the kitchen. 

"Me next!" Brady demanded.

The tickling and giggling continued for several minutes until the oven timer went off.

"Are you staying for dinner?" Tommy asked Jude while he put the pizza in the oven. 

"What's on that pizza?" She eyed the concoction until the door to the oven was closed and then glanced at Tommy questioningly.

He shrugged and his mouth tilted up at the corners. "It's pizza a la Quincy."

"Does it gots fish eyes and monkey brains?" Brady asked as he tried to climb the countertop to sit next to Noah where he was perched picking out the tomatoes from the salad and shoveling them into his mouth.

Tommy grabbed him, tickling his sides and hefted him onto the counter. "Of course it does!"

"Fish eyes and monkey brains? Do I even want to know?" Jude asked with a raised eyebrow. 

Tommy rolled his eyes. "Olives and sausage. I had to get creative to get them to eat it, now they love it," he explained.

She looked incredulous. But she made no attempts to leave and sat down with them to eat when the pizza was done. They worked silently to get the boys settled, the routine familiar because Jude usually ate with them whether Tommy was home or not. He was surprised that she hadn't made any excuses to leave. After the studio session that morning she hadn't seemed too eager to be in his presence for any extended period of time, but now she didn't seem to mind. Tommy wasn't really sure what to think and decided the best course of action would be to play it by ear and let Jude determine how things would play out.

Brady was standing on his chair, talking animatedly, pizza slice in his hand as he tried to tell Tommy about pre-school that day.

"Brades, sit down," he told him around his own mouthful of pizza.

He heard Jude snicker next to him and his eyes shot to her. "What's funny?"

"Nothing…" She kept her eyes on her plate, her hands busy picking the olives off the pizza slice.

As he was watching her, a chunk of food sailed through the air and hit the side of his face. He jerked back, startled and then turned his head to look at the giggling goof that was his son.

"Noah frew brains at you, daddy," Brady told him as he took another bite of pizza.

"Oh he did, huh?" Tommy glanced at Noah whose entire face was smeared in pizza sauce, most of his slice already devoured.

Brady nodded innocently.

Tommy narrowed his eyes. "Did you just lie to me?"

Blues eyes sparkled with mischief. "No."

"Brady…" Jude's voice held a note of warning and the little boy's face fell, immediately looking chastised. 

"Sowry daddy," he said softly. He sat down in his chair and put his pizza on the plate in front of him.

Tommy's eyes widened in amazement as he looked over at Jude. "Did I just miss something?"

Jude shrugged. "He knows better."

It had taken one word for Jude to accomplish what a whole paragraph of chastising would maybe do for Tommy. 

"But he does come by the whole lying thing pretty naturally."

Whatever Tommy had planned to say escaped him then as Jude's words hit their intended mark. He sighed inwardly. He'd do better to keep his mouth shut and hopefully at some point Jude's anger would start to dissipate.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Jude didn't like saying mean things to Tommy. But the words just seemed to escape without warning and even though she immediately wished she could take them back, she also appreciated that he deserved some of the well-put barbs. 

It had been a couple of days since their awkward pizza diner the other night, which hadn't been awkward until she'd opened her mouth and implied this his son got his ability to lie from him. Of course after she said it, she realized that if lying was genetic then Brady had probably inherited that trait from Angie, because in all the years Tommy had known her, he'd never flat out lied to her face. He might have left out the whole story, kept a few secrets, but he'd never blatantly lied.

Angie, however, had been a master manipulator. There had been several times when Jude had caught her in the act, literally. For her seventeenth birthday everyone at G-Major had gone to one of the downtown clubs to dance and help Jude celebrate. They'd gone to dinner first and Jude had sat next to Tommy, laughing and joking through the meal along with Sadie and Kwest. SME had been there too, even though Jude and Spied had just broken up because they were better friends than boyfriend-girlfriend. Tommy had been excited to go out, had gotten a sitter for Brady. Angie had smiled politely through dinner but looked un-amused by the inside jokes the group shared from all of the long hours spent at the studio. 

At the club, once they'd gotten inside, Jude had spotted Tommy and Angie arguing off to the side. When he rejoined her at their VIP table, he'd collapsed in the chair next to her. When she asked him what was wrong, he'd responded with a _"Nothing you need to worry about, Big Eyes. Just promise me you'll have a good birthday."_ Later, after dragging Tommy to dance several times, Jude had gone to the restroom. Inside she'd encountered something that had startled her innocent newly seventeen-year old mind. Loud moans and panting were coming out of one of the stalls and she could see a pair of male shoes entangled with a set of high heels. Giggling at what she'd walked in on; she finished quickly and was trying to hastily dry her hands when the stall door opened. A disheveled Angie emerged, pulling down her skirt with one hand and raking her fingers through her tangled brown hair with the other. Jude's mouth had dropped open and she'd stared dumbly. The guy she was with was not Tommy.

The confrontation that occurred when Angie realized she'd been caught was not pretty. Jude was smart enough to know that the other woman was high on something, which was bad enough, but seeing physical proof that she was cheating on Tommy...it made Jude sick. Even worse, Tommy had been waiting outside the restroom for Jude, ever the protector and when she'd walked out with Angie, his wife had wrapped her arms around him and drawn him into the kind of kiss that Jude had only ever dreamed about having with him. Angie's words to Jude, the warning to keep her mouth shut or she'd ruin Tommy, tell everyone he was sleeping with his underage artist, had echoed in her mind. Jude's naïve protests of that being untrue had only made Angie laugh coldly. _"It's not about the truth, Jude. It's about what everyone wants to believe. And they'll believe it because for some reason, my husband can't seem to stay away from you and you…you fawn all over him like some kind of abandoned puppy."_

Jude hadn't been able to look at Tommy for weeks after that, afraid that her feelings for him were transparent, afraid that she'd blurt out what had happened with Angie. She wasn't even sure Tommy would have believed her but it had eaten at her to have that secret from him.

She'd kept it from him…for all those years. A secret far worse than the one he'd kept from her about the album. If she had told him back then about Angie…no, she couldn't think like that. Thinking that way was fruitless. She couldn't and wouldn't change any of it. She only had to think of Noah's angelic little face to know that, even if she did regret it.

She wasn't really angry with Tommy. Her initial reaction had been hurt…then anger. Yeah, he should have told her about the album, but he'd felt caught. She understood that now, knew that Darius probably hadn't given him a choice. And Tommy was so…remorseful. She'd been ready to give in that first day after their session in the studio. But she hadn't wanted to be too easy on him, despite the fact that his pleading blue eyes almost turned her insides out.

Jude honestly wasn't sure how to act around him now either. It was one thing to always wonder how he'd felt about her, but to actually know that the feelings she had three years ago were reciprocated…It was almost too much to process. 

And what happened with their relationship now? There was the kiss and then the avoiding and then…it was all just a hot mess of uncertainty.

Yet, here she was again, at his front door, letting herself into the house. He'd given her a key more than a month ago in case she needed to leave the house and go places with the boys. She didn't need it now. The front door was unlocked and she entered, tossing her overnight bag next to the rug that was littered with several small pairs of Nike's and a much larger pair. She smiled inwardly. She'd never tell Tommy, but she thought it was cute that he dressed the boys like him. If he was casual, they were casual…if his hair was gelled, their hair was gelled. Their shoes even matched.

She couldn't hear them anywhere, but knew they had to be home. Tommy had called her the day before and explained that he needed her to watch the boys for a few days. Darius had scheduled him to take Colby's finished album to New York. Apparently her sister had volunteered, but Tommy knew the boys would be more comfortable at home if Jude would be willing to stay with them. Of course she was more than willing. She welcomed any opportunity she had to stay with the boys. Especially now that Colby's album was complete. Tommy wasn't working late and Jude hadn't gotten to spend as much time with them. 

She walked past the living room and her eyebrows rose as she saw clothes piled on the couch. Obviously Tommy was attempting laundry before he left. She smirked. It was funny how things had changed. When she first met him she was pretty sure he'd never done laundry in his life. He used to give her a bad time about her clothes and lack of domestic skills until she learned that he sent his stuff out to be cleaned. That had been the end of that. Now they both did their own laundry. She'd even helped him iron his dress shirts a time or two.

With a sigh she made her way down the hall towards the boys' room. It was almost eight o'clock. Tommy was probably getting them ready for bed. 

Jude could hear them talking once she got right outside the door and she decided to peak in before making her presence known. They were all on their floor, Tommy included, laying on their stomachs, each of their heads bent over the Legos spread out before them. It was the new Harry Potter Castle that Tommy had gotten the boys and they were trying to put it together. She observed them quietly, not wanting to disturb their time together. Tommy had his head tilted to the right, his brow scrunched with concentration as he read the directions. Brady's head tilted identically and Noah's tongue stuck out ever so slightly, the expression one she'd seen from Tommy when he was completely engrossed in something. It was amazing to see so much of him in them and, not for the first time, she wished desperately that somehow they could belong to her.

Pushing those thoughts aside, she bit her lip and tucked her hair behind her ears before stepping into the doorway. Brady noticed her first and jumped up, practically stepping on Tommy in his haste to reach her. Noah followed and she knelt down to give them both hugs. "Looks like you guys are having fun," she commented as she released them. Brady went to Tommy's side to grab at the parts of the Legos he'd put together while Noah settled onto Jude's lap. She wrapped her arms around him. He was her snuggle buddy.

"Daddy says we gots to get it built up but den he's leafin so we can't finish till he comes home," Brady informed her.

"That's okay. We'll have lots of other fun things to do," Jude tried to reassure him.

"I think this is the first trip I've taken where they haven't come along," Tommy admitted from his spot on the floor, looking over his shoulder at her.

"I'll take good care of 'em, Quincy. Don't worry."

He nodded and flipped over so that he was sitting up. As he moved his t-shirt rode up and the flat expanse of his stomach was exposed. Jude tried really hard not to notice the way his pants drooped and the top of his boxer briefs were visible.

"They already promised to be really, really, really good for you, right guys?"

Brady nodded and crawled onto Tommy's back, his arms wrapped around his daddy's neck. "Weally, weally good," he agreed. "And den we can get da new silvewr suwrfer guy."

"No way! Really?" 

"Weally!" Noah chimed in.

Tommy laughed and shrugged. "I'm not above a little bribery. Besides…I wasn't really worried about them so much as you…"

"Hey!"

"Three days alone with these two…" he reached around his back and wrapped his arm around Brady, pulling him forward until he was hanging upside down in the air, laughing. "That would drive anyone insane."

Jude laughed, Brady's giggles infectious. Noah abandoned his spot on Jude's lap and ran to Tommy, jumping on him, the force knocking the trio over and into a raucous wrestling match. She rolled her eyes between bursts of laughter as she watched them. Men…

The giggles started to dissipate and Jude watched suspiciously as Tommy whispered something into Brady's and then Noah's ears. Both boys smiled and then looked over at Jude. She was briefly distracted by their innocent little grins before they attacked, both of them trying to tickle her. She squealed as she tried to move out of reach of their little fingers, pretending that they were getting her. She let out a real peal of laughter when larger fingers made a sneak attack on her side. "Tommy!"

"We're gonna get you now, Harrison!" His hands moved, one tickling underneath her rib cage while the boys tickled her stomach. She didn't realize her shoe and sock were missing until she felt cold fingers on the arch of her foot.

"Ah…"

They were all laughing now, and Jude was desperately trying to move out of reach, but Tommy was relentless. She ended up folded in a little ball, hair flying everywhere as the boys landed on top of her, still laughing. "We gots you Jude!" Noah told her with a smile. Tommy sprawled out next to her on his back on the floor. "See what I mean…they're trouble."

"Don't think I didn't see you telling them to get me."

He laughed.

The silence that followed wasn't awkward and it wasn't really silence because the boys were talking, but neither Jude nor Tommy made an effort to move. She stayed on her side, her face resting on her arm, watching him as he watched her.

"Jude…I'm sorry." The words were soft, the sincerity of them clear in his eyes.

She nodded slightly. "I know." And somehow, right then, it was enough. 

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Tommy walked through the airport terminal quickly, eager to get away from the chaos. The flight hadn't been terribly long, but after three days, he was more than ready to be home. It was getting late, almost ten o'clock. If it had been three years ago he would have said the evening was just getting started, but now, all he wanted was to go home, see the boys and crawl into bed. An empty bed…

He shook his head to dispel his thoughts. They didn't need to go that direction. 

The trip had seemed like the longest three days of his life. He'd gotten to New York and met up with the distributor's there and handed off the final version of Colby's album for production. He'd seen a few old friends, even been invited out. But it had been…well, something had been missing. His mind had been elsewhere for most of the time, when he wasn't focused on working. He kept wondering what the boys were doing, how things were going, if Jude was surviving her time with them. He picked up his cell phone several times to call, but always talked himself out of it. He had told the boys he would call to tell them goodnight. Anything he and Jude needed to talk about could happen then. He looked forward to those phone calls more than anything else on the trip, so instead of hanging out in any of the restaurants or clubs that he used to frequent, he'd stayed in his motel room, watching movies on cable and listening to demo tracks from new artists Darius was interested in. The phone calls hadn't lasted very long, enough to say hi and goodnight and for Jude to assure him that everything was fine.

He hadn't checked any luggage and so he headed out towards the parking complex to find the Mustang. Jude let him take it the airport so she could have the Escalade. He didn't mind the trade off. He hadn't wanted to leave the Viper at the airport and she'd offered up her car before he'd even thought to ask.

As he walked out, he started to dig through the side pocket for the keys. He wasn't expecting the sudden flashes that blinded him. A barrage of questions attacked him, so many at once that he couldn't make out what was being said at first.

_"Tommy, are you and Jude living together?_

"What?" His head snapped up and he looked in the direction the question had come from. What the hell was going on? Why were the paparazzi everywhere? He wasn't even famous anymore.

_"Is it true that you and Jude were having an affair when she was 18?_

He wasn't even going to dignify that with an answer and he tried to push through the mob. The cameras flashed, shutters clicking as the questions continued.

_"Is Jude the real mother of your youngest son?" _ It had been awhile since he'd felt the intrusive presence of the paparazzi and he wasn't about to let it continue. Tommy's tolerance for assholes was low.

"Leave my kids out of this," he yelled back and started to go after a short bald guy, wearing a baseball cap and holding a tape recorder. 

A strong arm grabbed the sleeve of his leather jacket and pulled him back, away from the crowd and toward another vehicle parked by the curb. Tommy started to jerk away and push the guy off him, but quickly recognized Kwest. He let his friend shove him into the passenger seat of his Range Rover.

"What the hell is going on, man? I wasn't expecting to be ambushed right off the plane?" Tommy's disbelief echoed in the front cab of the car as Kwest pulled out of the garage.

"I tried to call to warn you, but I'm guessing you didn't check your phone when you got off the plane." Kwest maneuvered his SUV through the airport traffic. "They've been camped out by your house too. Somehow they figured out Jude was staying there with the boys."

"Is she okay? Are they okay?" 

"Calm down. They're fine. Jude's dealt with this before. And D sent over Big Lou to stay with them until you got home," Kwest explained.

Tommy scraped a hand over his face in frustration. "And what started all of this?"

"Truth?" Kwest asked, glancing at him from the side. Tom nodded and Kwest turned back to focus on his driving.

"Jude's comeback is big news. It might not have been such a big deal, but people have put two and two together with you guys spending so much time together and…"

"Shit." Tommy mumbled under his breath. This was exactly what Jude hadn't wanted to happen. And once again, he'd brought it down on them.

He wasn't sure what to expect when he got home. Kwest pulled into the driveway a little after eleven pm. Tommy didn't see any photographers, but there were probably a few lurking somewhere. He jumped out of the car, expecting Kwest to park and follow him inside.

"T, I gotta head home. Sadie thinks I'm at the studio." 

What Kwest wasn't saying was that Sadie was probably pissed at Tommy for the situation with Jude. She probably wouldn't approve of Kwest helping him.

Tommy shook his hand. "Thanks man, I owe you."

He looked over his shoulder a couple of times as he walked toward the front door. It'd be just his luck to have some nut job photographer jump out at him as he was going inside.

He had to pull out his keys to unlock the door, but he didn't mind. It made him feel better to know that Jude and the boys were safe inside.

"Welcome Home!"

A grin spread across Tommy's face as he walked in and saw Jude standing in the entry way. Brady and Noah were in front of her and they immediately ran to him. A 'Welcome Home, Daddy!' sign was hanging over the doorway decorated with handprints and a finger painted scenes. He dropped his carryon bag and picked up Noah, squishing him in a tight hug before grabbing Brady. 

"Wow, guys!" He looked back up at the sign, his gaze landing on a finger-painted scene. "Is that our house?" He pointed and Brady nodded. There was a square house with a triangle roof and Tommy was fairly certain that Jude must have helped. In front of the house were several stick figures. Four to be exact. They were all painted with circle heads and stick bodies, holding hands. Two little figures and two big ones. One of the taller figures had blonde hair.

"Uh huh and dat's you comin' home and den we's gonna finish the castle, right, daddy?" 

Tommy ruffled Brady's hair. "Maybe tomorrow, buddy. Daddy's tired. How about we go relax on the couch for a few." He lowered Brady to his feet and both boys raced off to the living room and Tommy finally looked at Jude. She stood there, shifting nervously on her feet, hands tucked into her back pockets.

"So how was the trip?"

He ignored the question. "Why didn't you tell me about the paparazzi stuff?"

She looked down at the floor and shrugged before looking up and meeting his questioning gaze. "I guess I didn't want you to worry. I was a little freaked out at first when I wanted to take the boys to get ice cream the other night. It was only a couple of them and it actually ended up being kind of funny. Brady kept asking the photographers why they were taking pictures of us. The one said it was because he and Noah were so cute and Brady actually said 'I know'. Of course that made it into Talk National and I got a little pissed because they said something about them being conceited and so I made Darius call Big Lou. And now he's on retainer. We can just call him up whenever we need to take the boys somewhere and he'll make sure that he keeps the photographers in line. And because this is all Darius' fault, he's footing the bill and I'm babbling, I know, but for some reason I feel like this is all _my_ fault and…"

He stepped forward and put his finger to her lips to stop the flow of words. "You don't have to feel bad. This is just what happens…it's the price of being who we are. I just wish you had told me. I'd have come back right away."

She shrugged and took a small step back. He tried not to be offended that she moved away from his touch. "Yeah, but it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. And the boys are both fine. They thought it was a game and they loved Big Lou."

He didn't say anything, just let himself look at her. She seemed a little worn out, but that haunted, sad look from days before was gone. And she didn't seem angry. 

Without thinking his hand reached out and tucked a strand of hair back behind her ear. "I missed you." He told her softly.

Her eyes widened, lips parted and he was going to kiss her again and this time he wasn't going to stop until he'd kissed some sense into her and…

"Dad-ee! We's waitin' fowr you to welax wif us!" Brady yelled from the other room.

Tommy took a step back and looked away. He swallowed hard and then looked back at Jude. "You coming?"

She nodded and before she could protest, he grabbed her hand, linked their fingers together and pulled her with him.


	12. Chapter 12

18

Part 12

"What are we watching?" Sadie whispered in her husband's ear as she came up behind him. She'd come to pick him up for an early lunch before they headed to the obstetricians to get their first ultrasound of the new baby and found him standing in hospitality, not so subtly watching Studio A.

Kwest nodded his head in the direction of the studio. "The usual sparks are flying. They've been fighting all morning. I went in there to ask a question about something and got told, in unison, to 'Get Out!'. When I came out here an hour later to wait for you, they were still going back and forth."

Sadie smirked as her sister came into clear view. Jude stood nose to chin with her producer, glaring up at him as they continued to argue. "What are they even fighting about?"

Kwest shrugged. "Could be anything. It's been like this for a couple of weeks now, every time those two get in the studio together. She shows up in the morning, grabs a cup of coffee and they meet each other in there. The arguing usually starts about an hour into the session and it's usually over something stupid. I believe the first day Tommy said it was about a chord progression on the chorus."

Sadie snorted indelicately. "You've got to be kidding me. I always thought they were completely in sync when it came to music. They have that whole simpatico thing going on."

"Yeah, but they didn't want to jump each other's bones back then. Or maybe they did and were just better at hiding it. This," he gestured toward the couple, "is what happens when the only outlet for your sexual frustration is to yell at the person that's causing said frustration."

Jude's face was visible and Sadie could see her turning red. Steam was practically coming out of her ears and Tommy didn't look much calmer. He was the one yelling now and threw his arms out to the side, gesturing wildly while Jude stood there with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"This looks brutal. Do we need to mediate?" She asked with concern.

Kwest laughed. "Yeah, right. Trust me when I say that's the last thing we need to do. They've got a pattern. By the time we get back from your doctor's appointment they'll be sitting so close they're practically in each other's laps while they work on the song."

"Really?"

He nodded. "It's insane. And it drives everyone around here nuts." He looked at Sadie a bit sheepishly. "They've started a pool."

Her eyebrows rose. "Do I even need to ask?"

"A few people think they're already together, but for those of us that know better, we've got money on when they'll finally just [i do it[/i and get it over with."

Sadie scrunched up her nose. "Ew. I so don't want to think about my little sister and Tommy having sex."

"Weren't you the one telling me what a cute couple they'd make?"

"Well, yeah, but that doesn't mean I want to know about their sex life."

"But I was counting on you to find out when they..." he raised his eyebrows up and down suggestively. "She's more likely to tell you than anyone else."

"I want no part in this," Sadie protested.

"There's $500 in the pool so far. If I win, I'll give you half to go buy some new shoes," he threw the offer out, dangling it in front of her, playing off her weakness.

She narrowed her eyes. "Deal. But no details." With a last glance toward the still arguing duo in the studio, Sadie grabbed her husband's hand and dragged him out of G-Major.

"Where did you leave our daughter?" Kwest asked, realizing for the first time that Sadie was alone.

"Oh. Well, Jude called yesterday and asked if Marissa could have a play date with Noah sometime. Apparently he's been missing Brady while he's at pre-school so she and Tommy thought it would be good for him to have his own friend over. It worked out perfectly with the doctor's appointment today so Mrs. Du Tois is watching them."

"Is it just me, or are Jude and Tommy pretty much married?"

"What?"

"I'm just saying…they're together all the time. She's constantly over at Tom's place. She takes care of the boys, does the laundry and I know she's tried cooking for them. Although maybe that's why they're always going out to eat, but even then it's always things families do. The other day there was a picture in Talk National of them coming out of the mall after shopping together."

Sadie knew which picture he was talking about. She saw it when she went to the grocery store the day before. Tommy, wearing his requisite shades and leather jacket had looked like the ultimate bad-boy daddy, carrying Noah and a toy store shopping bag. Jude, in black leggings, boots and a men's oxford shirt that could have belonged to Tommy, was right next to him, smiling, holding Brady's hand and several other shopping bags. Jude's bags were emblazoned with the Gap Kids logo and anyone would assume they'd been shopping for the boys. She knew for a fact that after that particular shopping excursion they'd gone to see the Bee movie together because Sadie had called to chat with the sister she never got to see anymore when they were waiting in line for tickets.

"She and Tommy are in denial." Sadie finally said.

"No kidding. Everyone else knows they're a couple except for them."

Sadie pondered the issue as Kwest drove them to the restaurant for lunch. She didn't speak again until they were inside and seated. "Maybe we should lock them in a room until they finally admit they want to be together."

"Do you think that would actually work?" Kwest paused his perusal of the menu and glanced curiously at his wife. "You seriously want to try it, don't you?"

She shrugged, but her eyes twinkled conspiratorially. "Maybe we should arrange our own play date. Have both boys come over for a sleep over."

"How could we be sure Tommy and Jude spent the evening together?"

"Oh, please. That'd be as easy as getting Marissa to wear pink. You honestly think that, given the opportunity to spend the evening alone together, sans boys, they wouldn't?"

"I think the boys are their excuse to spend so much time together. Take them out of the equation and…" he shrugged.

She knew that Kwest could be right. Some sneakiness was going to be required. Jude and Tommy would thank her later, she was sure. They needed some time alone together, though. Right now their relationship was strained when they were alone because they were fighting their attraction. With the boys they had a built in buffer system. They could flirt and have fun and never actually act on anything because Brady and Noah were there to interrupt. Jude had admitted that there had been several 'almost' situations that were interrupted and later ignored because of bad timing. She'd have to think on it for a while, but Sadie was pretty sure she could come up with something to get them to spend alone time together.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Glancing at her watch Jude sighed and set down her guitar. "It's three o'clock," she said before stifling a yawn as she stretched her arms above her head. They'd been in the studio all morning and most of the afternoon, taking only a quick break for lunch. She closed her eyes as she continued to shift, attempting to loosen tight muscles. She didn't notice Tommy's eyes darkening as they lingered on her chest and the narrow strip of skin exposed at her waist as she moved.

"Hmm?" he mumbled absently, scratching the side of his head.

"I've got to go pick Brady up from pre-school," she reminded him.

"Oh. Right."

She stood up from the couch and brushed off the leftover crumbs of the cookie she'd eaten earlier during a quick break. Bending over, she grabbed the case for her guitar and deftly stowed the instrument before gathering up the notes and various papers that were laying around after their brainstorming session. When she straightened up and turned around, Tommy's jaw was clenched and his hands gripped the armrest of his chair.

Her eyes narrowed. "What's wrong? I thought we were done fighting for today?" she asked, confused. For the last two, almost three weeks they'd spent every morning sequestered in the studio together. Most of the time was taken up by bickering and arguing over … well, practically everything. Jude wanted to start fresh on the album and record all new material, but Tommy disagreed. He thought that some of the old songs she'd already recorded, along with a few of her demos for Darius, needed to be included. Their first fight had ended with their first compromise that they'd try things both ways. Jude would listen to the old stuff and hear Tommy's thoughts and ideas and he would listen to the new songs with the same consideration.

It was difficult to listen to some of those songs from three years ago, songs that he'd helped her write and record before he left. She hated how young the lyrics came across, naïve and sentimental and almost exclusively about him. It was like picking at scabs that hadn't quite healed and then rubbing salt in the rediscovered wound. More than unpleasant and quite possibly the worst kind of torture.

It was part of the reason she kept instigating fights with him.

Tommy relaxed in his chair and offered her a wry smile. "No more fights today." He smirked and rose from the chair to stand directly in front of her.

"Are you going to work late?" She reached over to the empty chair next to Tommy's and grabbed the coat she'd draped across the back. As she slipped it on she faced him again.

He watched her, expression masked, hands buried in his front pockets. "Probably not. Just some paperwork to clear up. I'm thinking about bringing home dinner. What sounds good?"

She thought for a moment. "Thai?"

"Yeah, sure. The boys'll like that."

"Yeah, right. They'll take one bite and want chicken nuggets," she joked. Anytime they went out to eat or got food to take home, one of the boys always demanded nuggets or corndogs instead of what was already in front of them.

Tommy chuckled. "Probably. You want the usual?"

She nodded. "Yep. Just…take it out of my paycheck."

Tommy rolled his eyes. They both knew she hadn't cashed a single one of the checks he'd written her since she started taking care of the boys. And every time he tried to bring it up, she would change the subject. She hadn't felt right about taking money from him for a job that didn't really seem like a job. He didn't need to pay her to love the boys, she just did.

Offering a quick goodbye, Jude headed out of the studio, guitar case in hand and messenger bag slung over her shoulder. She glanced back briefly and saw Tommy bent over the soundboard, probably making sure all of the controls were switched off.

Things had been…good. Strange, but good. They'd fallen back into the same comfortable mode of existence that they'd lived in pre-confession and deception, just accepting their friendship as it was. Not that she didn't think about it being more. She still tingled anytime their hands accidentally brushed. Sometimes, when she was writing, he'd lean over her shoulder and she'd lose her train of thought, too caught up in the scent of him- a familiar combination of aftershave and hair gel-to remember what she'd been trying to put into words. And he still had a tendency to interrupt when she was playing her guitar, trying to work out the music for a song. He'd put his hands over hers, guiding her, adjusting her finger positioning to change the chords or slow the tempo. She'd feel clumsy then and unable to follow his instructions because her heart was thudding wildy, drowning out everything but the sound of his even breathing against her ear as his head bent next to hers. It was the very worst kind of distraction and the only thing that kept her even halfway focused was picking fights with him and trying to maintain some kind of distance.

But she was so weak. She hadn't even been able to stay decently angry with him after he lied to her. She'd fallen under his spell, bought into his pleading gazes and guilt laced apologies.

Shaking her head, Jude picked up her pace. She needed at least fifteen minutes head start if she wanted to make it to Brady's pre-school on time. Usually it wasn't an issue, but with her being back in the studio and juggling classes, it seemed like she was constantly running behind. And now with the added stress of the lurking paparazzi, she didn't want to have Brady waiting any longer than necessary.

"Jude, Darius wants to see you before you go." The front desk receptionist stopped her before she reached the door.

Jude shook her head. "Sorry. I don't have time. Tell him I'll come see him tomorrow morning."

The young woman shrugged. "He said it was important."

Jude rolled her eyes, but quickly headed over to the big boss' office. She could give him no more than five minutes of her time.

He took ten before she finally agreed with his request just to get out of there. She practically ran to the Escalade.

Twenty minutes later she pulled up to the private pre-school and said a silent prayer of thanks that she hadn't gotten pulled over for speeding on her way. Carefully, she maneuvered through the small parking lot full of other parents picking up their kids. Thankfully, she was only a few minutes late and she quickly parked and made her way inside to Brady's classroom.

She spotted him immediately, surrounded by a group of little girls as they knelt on the floor playing with, what appeared to be, a bunch of dolls. He was talking animatedly to one of the girls telling her what to do as he held a baby doll upside down by its diaper. She shook her head and smiled.

Brady's teacher, Karen, waved at Jude from her desk and Jude walked over to pick up Brady's report card for the day. They exchanged greetings and continued to watch the kids. Karen was in her late twenties and almost reminded Jude of her sister- stylish, cute, sweet tempered and really good with kids. They'd hit it off immediately when Jude started picking Brady up in the afternoons. Karen even admitted that she was a fan of Jude's, had voted for her on Instant Star. Of course she'd also admitted to having a crush on Tommy during his Boyz Attack days. The beautiful pre-school teacher could have easily been viewed as competition, if Jude had been the jealous type and Karen hadn't been happily married.

"He was really good today," she told Jude. "Only two time outs for not sharing."

Jude rolled her eyes. It was better than yesterday's report, which had included at least six time outs. For only being there three hours a day, Brady sure knew how to get in trouble sometimes. "Did he throw a fit?"

Karen smiled and shook her head, but her expression turned serious. "No real fits, but he did say he was going to tell his 'mommy' that I was mean."

That caught Jude's attention. "What? Where did that come from?" Brady's newest tantrum trick was to 'tell on' whoever he was in trouble with. He was constantly telling Jude she was mean and that he was going to tell his daddy on her, but she hadn't heard the 'mommy' bit from him.

"I'm pretty sure that he meant you, Jude," Karen said. She knew that Jude watched the boys for Tommy, but she wasn't blind. She'd seen the tabloid reports on TV and in the papers and also heard Brady's constant talk about Jude. Like a mother, Jude was a big part of his world.

"Oh…" she felt her face flush. "We've talked to him about this, both Tommy and I have. He's just…confused."

Karen offered Jude a sympathetic smile. "He told me that his daddy said mommies and daddies live together and that you used to live by yourself, but you were living with them now, so you could be the mommy."

Jude groaned and covered bright red cheeks with her hands. "Tommy took a business trip a few weeks ago and I stayed with the boys while he was gone."

Karen shook her head. "You don't have to explain it to me. I just wanted to tell you how he's interpreting things. I don't know what's going on between you and Tom but…"

"Nothing," she blurted out. "Nothing is going on."

Karen nodded, but Jude could tell she didn't quite believe her. "Just be prepared," she said. "It will probably continue and you guys might need to talk to him again."

Jude stood there quietly, absorbing Karen's words. It was barely a moment later when Brady looked up from his little group of girl friends and spotted her. He grinned and dropped the baby doll on its head before he ran over to her. The word 'mommy' left his lips as he launched his skinny frame into her outstretched arms. She didn't know what to say. For some reason, every time this happened, it hurt a little bit more to explain that she wasn't his mother and this time she just…she couldn't bring herself to do it.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Jude had been surprisingly quiet all evening. Her smiles for the boys were still genuine, but her actions seemed almost…subdued was the only word Tommy could think of. She hadn't even said 'I told you so' when Brady demanded corn dogs instead of the Thai food Tommy had picked up on the way home. Then she'd only picked at her own food. Usually she ate enough to leave Tommy shaking his head, grinning and wondering how she could eat so much and stay so tiny. And she hadn't even scolded the boys when they started bickering and throwing food at each other.

"You okay?" he asked as he cleared off the dinner table. The boys had gone off to play 'race cars' with their Hot Wheels and he could hear the hum of their chatter coming from the direction of their bedroom. She didn't answer immediately and he watched her curiously for a second before he took away the take out box she was absently mutilating with her fork.

Her eyes shot up as her fork hit the table. "I'm fine."

He didn't buy it. "So that take out box died for nothing?" he tried joking as he gestured to the box's remains, hoping to tease a smile out of her, but she wouldn't look him in the eyes. "You've been distracted since I got home." He'd had to repeat himself several times during dinner because she'd been lost in her thoughts and not paying attention.

Now he leaned back against the cupboard, arms crossed in front of his chest, his stance conveying that he wasn't going anywhere until she started talking.

She kept her eyes averted. "It's nothing," she insisted, the words punctuated with a casual shrug as the fingers of both hands nervously plucked at the hem of her button down shirt, picking at a loose thread. "Darius just reminded me as I was leaving today that I'm supposed to write a song for that movie soundtrack Kwest is producing. He wants it next week and I've just been…thinking about it."

Tommy's eyes narrowed and he studied her, trying to gauge the truth in her words. "It's bothering you?" He had a hard time believing that writing a new song would be a problem for her. Hell, every morning when the met up at the studio she had new lyrics and melodies for him to listen to. She was the one insisting that they start the new album from scratch.

Jude offered another half shrug and he fought the urge to shake her out of her uncommunicative funk. She didn't usually have such a hard time expressing herself. "Just not feeling very inspired," she offered as an explanation.

"Somehow I find that very hard to believe."

He was surprised to realize that she was glaring at him. "Stop looking at me like that," she demanded, irritation in her voice.

"Like what?" He was purposely baiting her, trying to get some kind of real response out of her.

"Like you're looking for cracks, waiting for me to break. It's fucking annoying." Her voice rose and she pushed away from the table. He was shocked by her outburst and didn't understand what could have happened between the time she left the studio and when he got home. Clearly it was not some little thing, not if she was responding like this.

Instead of letting her escape like she'd obviously intended to do, Tommy stepped in front of her and put both hands on her shoulders, forcing her to face him. "Jude…" his voice trailed off when he saw tears welling up in her eyes. "Talk to me."

She sniffed and turned her head away. "I'm just being stupid."

He tried to be patient and wait for her to talk to him, to let him in. He felt the moment she got herself under control. She stiffened in his grasp, not fighting him, but tensing her entire body.

"I don't…" she took a deep breath, stealing her resolve. "I don't think it's good for me to spend so much time with the boys." Her words started out steady, but by the end of the sentence her voice trembled.

Tommy felt like he'd been sucker punched. He hadn't been expecting her to say that. His hold on her loosened. "What are you talking about?"

"I just think…my spending time with them, well, it's confusing them."

This was coming from left field as far as he was concerned. Through everything that had happened over the last few weeks, the emotional rollercoaster of it all, the one thing that he hadn't ever questioned was how much Jude cared for Brady and Noah. "You're confusing _me_." He released her and stepped back, sinking down into the nearest kitchen table chair.

Jude's arms crossed her body like she was trying to hold herself in and he could see tears threatening to escape from the corners of her eyes.

She looked like this was killing her, but he didn't understand where any of this was coming from and it was actually starting to piss him off. "You don't get to say something like that and not explain, Jude," he said gruffly. Emotions he wasn't sure he could control simmered beneath the surface while he waited for her to explain just what in the hell was going on.

"Tommy…" Eyes shimmering with unshed tears pleaded with him, begging him to just understand and not make her say it.

"No." he denied her unspoken request. "No."

Her shoulders sagged. "Brady's been calling me mommy," she finally managed in a broken whisper. "And today I stopped correcting him." She couldn't look at him and the tears that had threatened to fall now trickled delicately down her pale cheeks before she hastily reached up and swiped at them.

Tommy's heart nearly burst inside his chest at her confession. Emotions he hadn't even been acknowledging - hope, elation, love and the tiniest bit of fear at how important Jude had become to him, more than he'd ever imagined possible –surfaced.

He moved quickly, reaching her before either of them could blink. His right hand gently turned her head, tilting her chin up to make her look at him. His thumb stroked her cheek, brushing away the moisture that lingered there. Leaning forward, he pressed a kiss to her temple, brushing his lips against the smooth skin before locking eyes with hers.

"Jude," his voice cracked. "You…are the best thing that's ever happened to the boys, to me. They adore you and you've filled a role in their lives that I knew was empty, I just hadn't realized how much until you came along…" He paused, gazing at her, unmasked adoration in his eyes. His fingers sifted through the strands of her hair, pushing them gently behind her ear. "I'm not just going to let you walk away from us."

"But I'm not their mother, Tommy." He heard the regret in her voice, the longing, and he started to understand.

"You're the only mother they've ever known."

"Why do I feel guilty for wishing they were mine?"

His throat constricted at the question. "Don't feel guilty," he shook his head. "Because then I'd have to feel guilty too." It wasn't something he was proud of, wishing his children were really hers. If it were true, they'd be a real family, something they'd been teasing themselves with for months.

She let him pull her close and he wrapped his arms around her, resting his head on top of hers. He didn't know what else to say, didn't know if he'd convinced her to change her mind. This wasn't something he'd ever actively thought about. He always just figured when the time was right, he'd tell the boys about Angie, downplaying her role, making it unimportant. And somehow, ever since he'd moved back, he'd just assumed Jude would be there and it scared the hell out of him to think that she wouldn't.

They stood there, locked together until a sputtering cry came from down the hallway in the boys' room. Tommy pulled back and looked down at Jude. "We're not done talking about this," he told her. She nodded and hastily wiped at her cheeks to remove any stray tears. The sound of running mixed with crying got closer until Noah and Brady appeared in the kitchen. Noah was in tears, rubbing his head while Brady looked on with big, apologetic eyes.

"It was an accident." He rushed out the words and tried to give his little brother a hug but Noah pulled away, still crying. He turned to Jude, lifting up his little arms, tears on his cheeks and begged her to hold him.

She didn't hesitate to pick him up and relief burst through every cell in Tommy's body as he watched her comfort his son. Dragging his gaze from Jude as she kissed Noah's boo-boo, Tommy knelt on the floor to bring himself eye level with Brady.

"What did you do?" he asked neutrally.

Brady knew he was in trouble and his eyes filled with tears. "I didn' mean ta hit him, daddy, but he took my favowit bad guy."

Tommy felt his resolve weakening. He could see that the little guy was already broken up about it and he hadn't even been punished yet. He glanced up at Jude. She was rubbing Noah's back, his cries having quieted to soft hiccups as he caught his breath. She mouthed the words 'time out' at his questioning look.

He nodded and swallowed. "Okay. Time out with no toys."

Brady immediately started crying, the words "No. Daddy you're mean," escaping through his angry tears.

Tommy fought the urge to roll his eyes at his dramatic son. One would think _he_ was the injured party the way he was carrying on. Taking his hand, he had to practically drag Brady into the living room. He picked him up and set him on the couch and watched as the screaming boy kicked at the cushions.

"Braden Michael…stop right now or you're going to bed," Tommy threatened ineffectively. He was a complete wuss when it came to the boys. They were usually so good, but he knew that he let them get away with a lot because he didn't like it when they were upset. His resolve to keep Brady in time out was weakening. Bewildered, Tommy was relieved when Jude stepped into the living room. She still carried Noah, who was watching Brady's tantrum with disinterest. She handed Noah off to Tommy and his youngest quickly snuggled against his chest.

Tommy had to admire the way Jude dealt with the boys. She knelt on her knees in front of the couch where Brady sat and started talking to him. She placed a hand on his legs to stop his kicking and when she spoke, her voice was gentle but firm and he had to stop crying to listen. After a moment, he finally calmed down enough to offer a teary apology to Noah for hitting him and then to Tommy for throwing a fit. Then the boys hugged and all was forgiven, at least until the next argument. They ran off to play again while Tommy and Jude collapsed, shoulder-to-shoulder, on the couch.

He took her hand and held it, his thumb rubbing back and forth across her knuckles.

"So…"

"So..."

He let out an exhausted sigh. "I need a beer."

Jude laughed. "Me too. I'll go get them." She started to get up but he pulled her back down.

"Nope. You go get your guitar. I'll get the beer."

She arched an eyebrow questioningly.

"You've got a song to write. We'll work on it together."

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Jude was relieved when Tommy suggested they work on the song. She'd been expecting to have to rehash the scene from the kitchen, but emotionally, she wasn't ready to go back to that. It was hard enough admitting what she'd been feeling and for now, it was enough that he knew.

She'd expected some of the emotions from earlier to carry over into their songwriting, but surprisingly, they'd managed to keep it fairly angst free. She'd almost forgotten how much fun she and Tommy could have writing a song together, especially without the added pressure of being in the studio. Admittedly some of that fun could have been a byproduct of the alcohol they'd imbibed. Between the two of them they'd managed to drink seven bottles from the two six packs of Dos Equis Tommy had hidden in the back of the refrigerator. Normally Jude wasn't much of a beer drinker, but it had seemed like a good idea at the time and three hours later it still seemed like that.

Tommy had the guitar in his lap, absently strumming the new guitar part they'd written while Jude finished writing out the lyrics.

"I can still hear them giggling," Jude commented with a smile. They'd put the boys to bed an hour before, but not without some trouble.

Tommy's hands paused, resting on the strings as he shook his head. "It's better than the whining and screaming from earlier." He reached over to the coffee table and grabbed the beer bottle in front of him, taking a drink and draining the last bit.

"You want another?" she asked. Her own bottle sat, half empty beside her as she leaned against the coffee table, resting on her knees while she wrote.

"I think three is my limit," he admitted, his mouth tilting up at the corners.

Jude snorted. "Try four, Quincy."

He shot a mock glare in her direction. "It's not like I'm driving anywhere, Harrison." He paused as she set her guitar aside and started to pick up the empty bottles from the table. "And you're not going anywhere either," he added.

Her head shot up. "What? I didn't even finish the last one," she protested, abandoning her writing to look at him.

He rolled his shoulders. "You still had two full ones," He looked down, his gaze slowly wandering over her and she fought a shiver of excitement as his eyes darkened, a teasing glint stealing over them. "You're tiny, Harrison. You got buzzed off the first one."

It was her turn to glare, not wanting him to notice the flush he'd caused just by looking at her. "Whatever, Quincy. I'm perfectly fine."

He ignored her and went through the living room to the kitchen. She could hear the clanking of bottles as he threw them in the trash. When he came back he was carrying two bottled waters and he tossed one to her.

"Sober up, Big Eyes." He winked. "I'm not letting you out of here until I'm sure you can walk a straight line."

She wondered briefly if maybe she wasn't a little drunk, because that small gesture was enough to make her stomach flutter with girlish delight. She definitely understood how all of those fangirls could have fallen in love with him, just on sight, when he'd been in Boyz Attack. Of course, he'd been a clean-cut bad boy then. Now he was…well, he was still kind of bad, but the term boy no longer applied. He was distractingly good looking, to say the least, especially with that scruffy beard. On another guy she would have though it looked skuzzy, but the light dusting of dark stubble only enhanced his features, highlighting the sexy mouth she'd been distracted by for most of the evening. Even his hair was sexy, the way it was artfully disheveled from running his fingers through it on and off as they worked.

"I'm gonna go check on the monsters, don't go anywhere," he commanded. She watched him walk away, enjoying the view of his retreating backside. His old, faded blue jeans rode low on his hips and she admired the fit with unabashed pleasure. Jude sighed inwardly, trying to push aside the lustful thoughts that had been skittering through her brain for most of the night. She'd almost spilled her beer earlier when she noticed he was barefoot. She'd never really thought about a man's feet being arousing until she'd glanced down and glimpsed his bare foot keeping time as they worked through the song's chorus. He even had sexy feet, damn him.

Heat pooled low in her abdomen and she bit her lip. The room was exceedingly warm all of a sudden and she reached for her notebook, fanning herself with it. As the pages flipped awkwardly, her eyes caught a glimpse of the song she'd been working on before their disastrous fight. She hadn't even looked at it for almost a month.

Smoothing the notebook out on the table, she adjusted it to keep the pages propped open and then lifted herself until she was sitting on the couch. She reached for her guitar and her hands migrated instinctively over the strings. She strummed the melody softly, her intention to play a small part of it, a quick reminder of what she'd already written. But she quickly got caught up in it. Maybe it was the night; a combination of her emotional state from earlier and the pleasant buzz of alcohol running through her system, but she couldn't seem to pull her hands away from the guitar, couldn't stop herself from adding in her voice, letting the lyrics flow smoothly over the background of her playing.

_Don't know much about your life._

_Don't know much about your world, but_

_Don't want to be alone tonight,_

_On this planet they call earth._

_You don't know about my past, and_

_I don't have a future figured out._

_And maybe this is going too fast._

_And maybe it's not meant to last, _

_But what do you say to taking chances,_

_What do you say to jumping off the edge?_

_Never knowing if there's solid ground below_

_a hand to hold, or hell to pay,_

_What do you say,_

_What do you say? _

As she reached the chorus she felt him watching her, but she didn't stop, not even when her fingers fumbled with the chords. If she kept her eyes closed, she could pretend that this wasn't a big deal, but if she opened her eyes, if she looked at him…he'd know, he'd see the truth of the question in her face, see what she was really asking.

_I just want to start again,_

_And maybe you could show me how to try,_

_And maybe you could take me in,_

_Somewhere underneath your skin?_

She was trembling now, fighting the urge to run away from what was happening. She heard him moving closer, the sound of his bare feet padding across the carpet and then she felt him right next to her, could feel the heat of his gaze staring down at her.

_What do you say to taking chances,_

_What do you say to jumping off the edge?_

_Never knowing if there's solid ground below_

_Or hand to hold, or hell to pay,_

_What do you say,_

_What do you say?_

Her eyes opened slowly, the last note cut off as the breath left her body. His gaze was intense as it clashed with hers and she could see the answer to her question.

Yes.

Her fingers slipped on the strings and then the guitar was lifted from her lap. He didn't say anything but took both her hands in his to bring her up against him. His steel blue eyes were unwavering as he bent his head. Soft lips brushed against her forehead, then her cheek, followed by the spot on her neck just below her earlobe. The kisses continued leaving a warm trail on her jaw line. Her breath caught as his lips brushed against the corner of her mouth, lingering until she could no longer stand it.

She'd been waiting for this, for him, had been teased with the promise of their brief encounter more than three years ago and now it was about to become a reality. She remembered the flash of passion, the lust on his face then and was surprised by the slow rush of affection she felt from him now. His hands settled on her waist and her fingertips drifted from his sides until they rested on his forearms.

Their lips finally connected. The first kiss was slow, tentative even, but hunger and desire-- emotions that had been shoved into the dark crevices of their being; buried deep-- took over until the intensity was fierce and consuming. He pulled her closer as the kiss deepened, his tongue thrusting past her lips, tangling with hers. Jude's hands migrated from his arms, up his shoulders until her fingers were tangled in his hair, urging him on as if her grip could keep him from stopping.

A moan of protest escaped her as the pressure of his mouth receded. She felt him smile against her now swollen lips and she opened her eyes. His face was still close, eyes dark with arousal and promise. Their noses brushed together as staccato pants filled air, both of them drawing in much needed oxygen.

He was too far away, she thought, even just the few centimeters of space between them was too much and she was afraid he'd move away, that he'd stop and say that it couldn't happen.

He didn't. Instead he fused his mouth with hers again.

He pulled back, teasing and using his tongue to trace the seam of her lips until they parted with a soft sigh. She gasped as he sucked her bottom lip into his mouth. He nipped at the lower lip gently before stringing hot kisses along the base of her jaw and down her throat. Nipping and licking to soothe each light sting. Guitar callused hands slipped beneath the back hem of her shirt, warming the bare skin as he pushed her anxious body against his, eliciting another soft moan.

Her breathing was shallow and labored with anticipation. Passion clouded her gaze as she looked at him, her stomach full of nervous butterflies. "What are we doing?"

Her breathless question halted Tommy's wandering hands and she immediately wanted to take the words back. Desire filled eyes met her gaze and her lower body coiled with a sharp stab of desire as she saw the hunger in his features, like he was ready to consume her.

"Giving in," her whispered hoarsely, answering her question. "Taking a chance."

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AN: I keep forgetting to list out the songs used in each chapter. Hopefully I'll get around to going back and adding them. But for now the song in this chapter and the name of the fic is "Taking Chances" as sung by Celine Dion.

Thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

Part 13

He kept telling himself to be gentle, to slow down, take his time and enjoy what was happening. He'd wanted it for so damn long now…But he couldn't stop, not when she was rubbing herself against him like that, arousing him to the point that he couldn't remember ever being so hard, so hungry for someone. He felt like a teenager again, eager, anxious, hands faltering with the excitement of what was about to happen. He couldn't stop touching her and each unfettered moan that escaped her lips only spurred him on. 

Her lower belly pressed against his erection and he groaned, slamming his lips against hers. His hands slid out from beneath her shirt and cupped her thighs, just below her ass, grazing the taut globes and lifting her until their lower bodies were aligned. With a not–so-gentle nudge he urged her legs up until they were wrapped around his waist. He pushed against the v between her legs, the denim between them a rough barrier. Blindly, still kissing her everywhere his lips could reach, he carried her from the living room, down the hall until he reached his bedroom. 

Her thighs tightened, clenching seductively around his hips, rubbing insistently against him while her mouth nipped hotly at the skin below his earlobe. He hoped to god the boys were asleep, because he couldn't remember needing anything as much as he needed to be inside Jude right then. Frantic fingers plucked at the hem of his shirt, distracting him as he moved toward the bed. Once settled on the edge, he pulled back only enough to help her shove his t-shirt up and off. He tossed it aside and brought their lips back together. 

The kisses were hot, hungry, needy. His hands moved to the front of her shirt, working on the buttons, fumbling in his haste. "Fuck these are tiny," he cursed as they slipped through eager fingers. Jude stilled his hands and he watched-- heavy lidded, chest rising and falling with rapid breaths-- as she tugged the shirt off over her head. 

Tommy was so busy staring at her that he almost didn't notice her hesitation, the uncertainty in her gaze. It was enough to give him pause and instead of pushing her back against the mattress like his brain was telling him to, he reached out and gently cupped a lace-covered breast in his hand. He couldn't find words to tell her, but he was dying to touch her, feel her, taste her. He felt the hard point of her nipple through the fabric and thumbed the peak earning a keening moan from Jude that made him ache, throb.

Oh god, she felt good. He'd imagined this a thousand times, but the reality of it was so much better. The softness of her skin, the feel of her fingers digging into the muscles of his biceps as he moved closer and lowered his mouth to the pulse beating wildly at the base of her throat. He'd never wanted anything so badly in his life as he wanted this, wanted her, beneath him, surrounding him.

Fingers traced the top slope of her breast just above the lace that covered her until he slipped a hand beneath the material to touch the hidden globe. The hard point rubbed against his palm and he wanted to taste her. His free hand collided with hers, tangling clumsily as they tried to unhook the front clasp of the restrictive garment. Once undone, Jude pushed the straps down until she was bared to him. 

Tommy sucked in a breath.

She was beautiful. Perfect.

"Tommy," she whispered raggedly. 

Rough hands urged her back until she was against the sheets. He hovered over her, lowered his head and replaced questing fingers with the heat of his mouth. A mewling sound escaped her lips and her back arched. Her fingers fisted through his hair, tightening reflexively as he left a moist trail of open-mouthed kisses from one breast to the other.

"Jude…" he whispered against flushed skin, lips brushing against her as he spoke. "Do you want…are you sure about this?"

Their eyes met and a flash of tenderness rushed through him as she nodded almost imperceptibly, biting her lower lip before her head lifted to bring their mouths together. Her tongue pushed past his lips and tangled seductively with his, mimicking the act she wanted him to complete. Her hands were at the waistband of his jeans and she deftly popped the button, lowering the zipper and slipping her hand inside to cup him. He groaned against her neck and pushed himself against her palm before pulling away to shove off the rest of their clothes. 

It was happening so fast, a swirl of feeling and touching…hands everywhere, reaching, exploring, grasping. He kept telling himself to take his time, but his brain wasn't listening, at least not the one in his head. All he could focus on was the feel of her breasts pressed against his chest, the way their bodies slid together instinctively trying to align.

Her thighs drifted apart and he settled himself there, his erection rubbing against her. Hands clasped tightly with hers, resting above her head, he slipped through the wet folds, positioning himself. His eyes met hers and with a single, smooth thrust he entered her. Her neck arched and a gasp left her lips. She was so tight. If he started moving he'd lose it, and what he wanted more than anything was to make her feel as good as he felt.

Fingers entwined, he waited, letting her adjust to him. A moment that seemed to last an eternity passed. His breathing was erratic as he tried to reign himself in. Then she moved against him, shifting her hips, lifting, seeking, causing him to sink further into her hot depths. He groaned. "Oh god…you feel so good," he panted against her ear. She whimpered and he felt her inner walls clench around him. 

Their bodies moved, frantic at first until they found a rhythm. "I need to touch you," she pleaded. "Please." Hands unclasped and she clung to him, nails digging into his lower back as his thrusts continued, bringing them both higher. His hand slid between their sweat slick bodies until he found the apex of her thighs. With clumsy determination his fingers moved until she cried out as he flicked the sensitive flesh. She bucked against him, inner walls tightening, the sound of his name a prayer on her lips as she came. Head buried against her neck he continued to thrust, once, twice... His release left him shaking, clinging to her.

Heavy breathing filled the dark room. He pulled back and looked down at her, face highlighted by the moonlight sneaking in through the window, and was surprised to see tears leaking from the corners of her closed eyes.

"Jude…" he whispered brokenly, unsure what to say, only knowing that he felt…completely undone, like he'd shattered into a million pieces. 

Her eyes opened and she offered him a watery, vulnerable smile. "Hi…" she said softly, self-consciously.

His thumb swept the moisture from her face. "Hi…are you okay?" 

She nodded and closed her eyes again taking a deep breath. "I just…I'm kinda overwhelmed."

He kept his eyes on her face, waiting for her to go on. If she felt anything like he did, he understood.

"You're still inside of me." A hint of awe softened her words and she bit down on her bottom lip, eyes darting away. "I…this is kind of new to me."

Did that mean…? He wasn't sure he heard her right, wasn't sure if he understood what she was trying to say, but his heart knew. "You've never…?" The words trailed off. Gauging his response as she looked at him, she shook her head. His throat closed and the only thing he could do was kiss her, tenderly, reverently. Deep down he was elated that he was the first. She belonged to him, no one else. He kissed her again, using his mouth to convey the love he couldn't yet verbalize. She returned the kiss, equally passionate and enthusiastic.

He pulled back, cupping her jaw in his hand. "I didn't hurt you did I?"

She shook her head. "No…it was…" she paused as if looking for the right words. "It was…good."

He wrinkled his nose. "Good? That's all I get. Good?"

"You were hoping for a better adjective?" she smiled, eyes crinkling at the corners and his heart skipped a beat.

"How about fantastic, amazing…phenomenal." Each word was punctuated with a kiss, on her nose, her chin, her lips.

She laughed against his mouth. "Yes…all those things. It was…_special_," she added softly.

Thumb stroking her jaw, he agreed. "It really was." He was propped up on one elbow above her, still semi-hard and inside her, not wanting to leave the cocoon they shared. He cleared his throat. "I haven't been with anyone since before I left here three years ago." 

Jude's eyes widened. "What?"

Before he went on, he rolled them over, slipping out of her and positioning them so that her thigh rested on top of his as they faced each other. "I…the last time I…" the words trailed off because it wasn't something he really liked to remember. "It was your birthday actually. Your 18th. Remember how I got drunk at your party?"

She nodded, but said nothing, waiting for him to go on. He realized he probably should have saved this discussion for another time, but it seemed important that she know just how much this meant to him, how long he'd been waiting and…

"You were so beautiful that night," he reached out and tucked her hair behind her ears, tenderly stroking her cheek with his finger. "And all I could do was watch you from a distance and wish that I was the one dancing with you, holding you."

"You wouldn't come near me the whole night. I was so upset…"

He kissed her, trying to sooth the hurt from the memory. "I know, but I couldn't…Jude, my self control had been slipping around you. Angie…she knew. It's why she brought her brother to your party, she wanted him around, watching me while she went off and did whatever, whoever she was doing." There was no bitterness in his voice, at least not about Angie. "I had to stay away from you, but it was getting to me. And then you sang that song we wrote together…"

"Love To Burn."

He nodded. "I was going to come find you and tell you how I felt after that. But every time I tried, Hunter was there, blocking me. By the end of the night I was wrecked and I couldn't find you anywhere. I crashed at the hotel. I thought I was having this dream where I was with you, making love to you…but when I woke up Angie was there. I was so ashamed. I hadn't touched her for months before that because she wasn't the one that I wanted to be with." His voice cracked and Jude reached for him, pulling him into her arms, wrapping herself around him. He kept his arms around her, his head resting on her chest, her heart beat beneath his ear. 

"Tommy…"

"Noah should have been yours," he finally whispered. He heard her sharp intake of breath and cautioned a glance at her face.

Stunned was the only way to describe her expression. "That's…" She didn't finish her thought, but leaned forward and pressed her mouth to his. "I don't care what happened in the past anymore," she finally said when they pulled apart. "I just, I want to be with you now. I want to try and make things work between us now."

He linked their fingers together again and pressed a soft kiss against her wrist. "I think they already do."

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He woke up to an empty bed, panic settling like a brick in his stomach. She wasn't there. He'd gone to sleep the night before, completely secure in the fact that his relationship with Jude was actually going somewhere, that there was a future to it. And now…

Scrubbing his hands over his face, he sat up and glanced around the room. He needed to get up and get the boys ready and…as he was thinking it, a noise from out in the hallway caught his attention. The boys. They were probably already up from the sound of it and that meant…

Tommy's sleep filled eyes finally opened and he started to see things more clearly. Jude's clothes were still on the floor of the bedroom. All of her clothes. He smirked…even her panties, which meant she was still in the house and not wearing any. 

He shot out of bed and quickly went to the dresser, grabbing up a pair of sweat and practically throwing them. As soon as he opened the bedroom doorway he could hear the sound of the boys giggling in the kitchen and smell…was that pancakes?

He made his way to the kitchen, quietly padding down the hallway, not wanting them to know he was awake yet. He watched them from the doorway, thoroughly enjoying the scene before him. Brady and Noah were in their booster seats at the table, both playing with their Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Dark hair stuck out at odd angles, pillow creases on their cheeks. Jude was at the stove, her own hair slightly tangled, wearing one of his button-down shirts. His gaze landed on her and stuck there, unable to look away. He watched as she grabbed two plates from the cupboard, shirt slipping up the back of her thighs as she reached. She quickly tugged it down and set about getting the boys' pancakes for them. She was leaning over Noah at the table, cutting his food for him when she finally realized he was there. He'd been staring down the front of the shirt as it gaped open at the collar and she immediately blushed when she caught him.

She straightened, tucking her hair behind her ears self-consciously. He thought she'd never looked more attractive than right that moment. "Morning," she managed to say as she went to help Brady put syrup on his plate.

"Daddy, look!" Brady exclaimed. "Mommy made me a 'B' for Braden." He started to lift his plate to show off what Jude made for him.

"I see that," he ruffled Brady's hair affectionately and looked up at Jude. She'd slipped back over to the stove to mix up more pancake batter. At Brady's words, her whole body stood still. It was only a split second hesitation and if he hadn't been watching for her reaction, he wouldn't have noticed. He walked up behind her as she continued to stir, and wrapped his arms around her waist. 

Resting his chin on her shoulder, he said nothing at first and just relished being able to hold her, touch her like this and not worry about it. Head bent low, he dropped a kiss on her neck, just below her ear and whispered "I'm not going to correct him." She immediately relaxed in his arms and he smiled, lips pressed against her soft skin. "If he wants to think that pancake looks like the letter 'B'…"

A quick jab in the ribs with her elbow cut off the rest of his words and an 'oof' escaped. Despite the teasing, he knew she'd gotten the message. If Brady wanted to call her mommy, he wasn't going to tell him anything different. Laughing, he kissed her again- her neck, her ear and jaw line- he peppered the kisses everywhere his lips could reach.

"Behave or I won't make you any 'T' shaped pancakes," she threatened teasingly.

"Yeah you will." His confident smirk earned another elbow shot, but she laughed. The laughter quickly changed to a small moan as his hands started to wander over the top of the shirt, slipping in between the fabric where it buttoned.

"Stop that," she demanded unconvincingly. She wasn't even attempting to keep working on the pancakes. He could feel her response to him and fought the urge to let out a cry of triumph. This was what he'd wanted for a long time…no holding back, no limitations. 

She was locked in his arms, her back to his chest, his arousal pressing into her bottom as his mouth returned to her neck, nuzzling her.

"Daddy, why is you bitin' her?" Brady's voice broke through the haze of arousal that had taken over. "We gets time out at pre-school when we bite."

Giggling, Jude turned around in his arms to face him. She looked over his shoulder pointedly at the boys. "Yeah, daddy, why are biting me?"

There was a teasing lilt to her voice, a sexy smirk on her face, and he was sure she could feel how hard he was, especially now that his front was pressed against her stomach. "Stand in front of me or they're going to ask why there's a tent in my pants," he whispered, pulling her around so that she was shielding him as they faced the boys.

"Only grown-ups can bite," he told his oldest, whose face was now smeared with syrup. "And they have to have permission first."

Jude groaned. "Tommy…"

"Did she give you pamission?" Brady's inquiring eyes studied them as he continued to stuff his mouth full of little pancake squares.

Tommy nodded solemnly. "She did."

Jude's elbow was poking his ribs again. "You can't tell him that," she said under her breath so only he could hear.

"Why not?" He whispered back.

"Because he repeats everything he hears. You know that." She turned around again, this time breaking out of his hold. Her hands went to her hips, the hem of the shirt creeping up her thighs as she looked at him sternly. Never before had being chastised been so fun.

"He repeated that whole mommy thing you told him, about mommies and daddies living together, to his pre-school teacher, and now she thinks something is going on between us." Gaze drawn to the nipples poking through the fabric of the shirt, he smirked and pulled her up against him, hands slipping up under the bottom hem of the shirt. "Something _is_ going on between us," he happily pointed out.

That got a smile from her. 

The smile only lasted a few seconds. "Tommy, seriously."

The pleading in her eyes finally got to him, or maybe it was the hands touching his bare chest, fingertips tapping lightly at his ribcage.

"Brady…daddy was just kidding." He looked over at both boys. Noah was watching the scene, but too busy eating to really care what was going on. Brady was rapidly losing interest, but looked up from his food at Tommy's words. "I wasn't biting Jude." He paused and then smiled, unable to help himself. "I was trying to eat her because she tastes so good."

An indignant yelp escaped her lips and he thoroughly enjoyed the blush that spread across her cheeks again at the sexual undertone of his statement. 

"And I'm gonna eat you next," he teased and Brady squealed as Tommy released Jude and moved over to the table, playfully trying to bite and then blow raspberries against both boys' necks. They squealed and laughed and as they continued to enjoy breakfast, he really thought this was the best morning he'd had in a long time.

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Jude tilted her head back under the showerhead, letting the warm stream of water rush over her, relaxing her muscles. After breakfast, Tommy had taken the boys off to get ready and she'd slipped into the shower. She needed a minute to get herself together because so many emotions were hurtling through her that she wasn't sure how to process it all. And maybe she didn't really need to process anything, maybe she just needed to let go and enjoy what was happening. 

It was all just so surreal though. Last night had been amazing, incredible…any number of words could describe what had happened, but nothing would do it justice. It had been everything she'd wanted. And now…she wanted more. 

As if he'd heard her thoughts, the shower curtain flipped open and Tommy stood there, a grin on his face, as he looked her up and down. Instinctively she moved her hands to cover her chest, which only heightened his amusement as he stepped into the shower with her. "What are you doing?" she asked as he took her arms and lowered them to her sides.

"I would think that would be obvious," he teased. He was naked and clearly aroused. His head lowered as he moved the wet curtain of her hair away from her neck and kissed her shoulder.

"What about the boys?" She stalled, even as she felt herself melting against him.

"Watching a movie in the living room. Power Rangers…" His voice trailed off as his lips moved lower, across her collarbones and then sliding over the curve of her breast.

"What if they…" 

He shook his head, nose rubbing against her wet skin. "They're enthralled. We have at least a half hour."

It was enough to convince her and soon she was lost in the feel of his lips against her skin, his fingers working magic as he touched places she'd never thought sensitive before. Her hands did their fair share of exploring, touching the planes of his chest, meandering over the hard abdomen and down until her fingertips brushed against his erection.

Their lips met, mouths open, tongues dueling as the kiss deepened. He quickly maneuvered her back against the shower wall, no longer directly under the spray of water. "I'm hardly…" kiss "going to…" she moaned as his mouth nipped at her throat. "get clean this way." Her head lolled back as his mouth moved to her chest. Another moan escaped as he sucked on a peaked nipple, laving his tongue against the tip.

She'd never felt anything like it before, the sensation hot, burning her up from the inside out, making her squirm, wanting to feel him the same way she'd felt him last night, inside of her, filling her until she was a whole person, something she hadn't been since he'd gone away.

"Tommy…" she urged him closer, wrapping her hand around his rigid flesh. "I need you inside me," she whispered against his neck. 

His hands gripped her thighs, lifting her even as he thrust inside of her. Both of them groaned at the sensation. Her arms wrapped around his shoulders, legs tight around his hips as he moved in and out. In and out. Her head fell forward, burrowed against his neck, mouth parting to taste the wet skin there. "Ohgodohgodohgod…" she murmured incoherently. Her release came quickly, crashing over her like a tidal wave of blissful, splintering sensation, making her cry out with the pleasure of it.

He stiffened against her seconds later, groaning into her mouth as the rhythmic clenching of her inner muscles brought him to completion.

She wouldn't be able to stand. Her legs felt like jello, her entire body boneless and replete.

He nuzzled his nose against hers and smiled. "I think this is how we should start every morning." 

"Mmm," She wasn't sure she could even get her vocal chords to work. After another moment she slid her legs down, testing their sturdiness as she gripped his shoulders. "Think you can help me wash up," she asked.

He nodded, grinning, and reached for the shampoo.

Twenty minutes later, both squeaky clean, they stepped out of the shower. He helped her dry off, his touch lingering as he rubbed the towel over her damp skin. "You keep that up and we won't get anything done today." The words were an empty threat. She didn't care if they ever left the house again, would be perfectly content to hibernate in his bed for the rest of her life. With a few showers, thrown in for variety, of course.

"How 'bout we call in sick?" he suggested.

She took the towel from him and wrapped it around herself. "Seriously?"

He draped another towel around his hips and shrugged. "Why not? We've both been working pretty hard on your album and…I want a whole day of us together, without anything interfering."

Everything about him was turning her into a big pile of mush. He seemed too good to be true and after everything that happened, it was hard to believe that they could finally be together. No drama, no excuses. She wanted to take advantage of any time they could have together. "That sounds nice." She agreed. 

"Maybe we could take the boys to the zoo?" He moved the boys' step stool out of the way and grabbed his toothbrush to lay it out on the counter. He dug around in the medicine cabinet for another minute and then produced another toothbrush, still in the wrapping and handed it to her.

She looked at him questioningly, surprised by the gesture.

He shrugged, a little sheepish. "I sort of thought it might come in handy, if you ever had to stay over." 

The idea that he'd thought about her, even for something so small, warmed her insides and she reached out, cupping his face in her hands and kissed him. "Thank you." He smiled. "You're welcome."

"So…are you calling in, or am I?"

He handed her the toothpaste. "I will. If I'm not there to work, you don't have to be there to record."

"Then the zoo it is. The boys will love it."

The rest of the day was just as amazing as the morning had been. There were stolen kisses, handholding, hugging, even a few whispered promises. Braden and Noah loved the zoo, tried to imitate each of the animals they saw, and basically wore themselves out with the excitement of it all. 

It was eight –thirty when they picked both of the sleeping kids up from the couch where they'd been watching a movie. "I think this is the earliest they've gone to bed in months," Jude joked as they tucked them in.

"I think we're going to have to institute a new bed-time policy. We can't let their little puppy-dog pleading sway us into letting them stay up." He closed the door to their room and walked towards his bedroom.

"They only give me trouble when you're home," she pointed out. His hand held hers, pulling her along with him. 

"It's because they know they can manipulate me." 

"Oh…you're such a pushover," she leaned up and kissed him as they reached his bedroom. "It's so cute." 

He deepened the kiss and pulled her into the room, shutting the door behind them. 

Clearly they were going to bed now too.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

"An' den we went to da zoo and Noah got scared of da monkeys 'cuz they was loud. So he cried, but not me. I'ma big boy, mommy said."

Sadie could barely keep up with Braden's chatter. He'd been talking non-stop since Tommy dropped him and Noah off earlier. Apparently Jude had called wanting to record a new song, so he had to meet her at the studio. Sadie was more than happy to baby-sit if it meant Jude and Tommy would be spending time alone together.

Brady stopped talking long enough to finish the juice Sadie had gotten for him and then ran off to find Marissa and Noah. She glanced at the clock. It was getting close to six o'clock. "Kwest, honey, could you order a pizza for dinner?" she yelled toward the hallway. She heard a muffled yes through the door of his 'office'. She used the term loosely. It was really just a toy room for big kids. He had video games and a large TV back there and was probably playing War Craft or whatever it was called. She doubted he'd actually phone the pizza in. 

She was looking through the latest edition of Talk National when Kwest left his lair and came into the kitchen. Eyebrows arched in surprise when he informed her that the pizza would be there in twenty minutes. 

"Why do you look so shocked?" He asked. Glasses clanked together as he reached into the cupboard to grab one.

"You're right. I should know by now that if it involves food, you're on it," she teased.

"Ha. Ha."

He went to the refrigerator and got out the orange juice. As he was putting the carton back muffled bickering filtered in from the living room. "What's going on?"

Sadie spared a glance up from the magazine but went back to flipping pages. "The boys are playing with Marissa."

"When did they get here?"

"Oh, Tommy dropped them off about an hour ago. He and Jude were going to the studio to record a new song. He said it might be late so I offered to keep them overnight."

Kwest looked thoughtful as he continued to drink his juice. "Huh. That's interesting."

"What does that mean?" She finally looked up from the magazine.

"Nothing. Just…the studios were all booked for other artists today." He shrugged. "But maybe the schedule cleared up." He didn't look convinced though.

"There's something you're not telling me," she observed.

"It's probably nothing, really. I just…when was the last time you talked to Jude?"

"Uh, Tuesday when I went to pick up Marissa from Tommy's. She was being kind of moody so I didn't stick around very long. I just figured she and Tommy were still fighting or something."

Kwest nodded. "Well, they must have made up that night then because there hasn't been any fighting since Tommy came back to work on Thursday."

Well, that was weird. No fighting? "You know how fickle musicians are… Besides, Jude did tell me that she was stressed out about school. She said something about getting incompletes and finishing up when the album is done. Maybe she went ahead and did that." It made sense that Jude would be in a better mood if she didn't have school stress hanging over her head.

"I don't know…" he didn't finish the thought. The kitchen was stormed by three little troublemakers managing to sound like a herd of elephants on a rampage. Exclamations and whining about hunger filled the air, not to be ignored. 

Sadie tossed the magazine aside. "Let's go wash our hands. We ordered pizza and it should be here soon." She took hold of Marissa hand along with Noah and steered them toward the bathroom with Brady running ahead to race them. Each child took turns stepping up to the sink and onto the little footstool. As she was helping Marissa, Sadie noticed a red mark on her arm that looked like…were those teeth marks?

"Marissa Ann Taylor, did you bite yourself?"

The little girl's eyes got big. "Momma, no," she shook her head, her pigtails swishing with the movement. "Brady did it."

Sadie helped Marissa finish and turned to Brady. "Did you bite Marissa?" 

He nodded warily. "She said I could and daddy said if I asked firwst it was okay."

"When did he say that?"

"He did," Brady insisted. She could tell he was getting upset and anxious at the thought he might be in trouble. "He was bitin' my mommy and said dat she said it was okay. Den he said it was cuz she tasted good. And den she laughed an hit him, but I don' hit cuz mommy puts me in time out den."

She wasn't sure what to focus on first. The biting, the 'mommy' or well…any of it.

Shaking her head, she put her hand on his shoulder and looked at him. "Little kids don't bite, Brady. Not even if they get permission okay?" There was no point in having him apologize to Marissa. Her daughter had said he could bite her and hadn't cried when it happened so she wouldn't even understand the apology.

"Brady, why do you keep saying mommy?"

"Cuz she's da mommy."

"Who is?"

He gave her a 'duh' look. "Jude is da mommy, Aunt Sadie. She lives wif us and daddy said dat mommies live wif daddies." He was so positive, so absolutely sure of it. Jude was his mother and that was that.

Back in the kitchen, the table was set, Pizza box open and Kwest was leaning against the counter thumbing through Sadie's abandoned tabloid.

She hastily filled her husband in on the conversation she'd just had with Brady. "What do you think that means?"

His eyes stopped on one of the pages. He flipped the magazine over and turned it towards Sadie. "I think we've been had." 

Sadie looked from Kwest to the page he was holding open. There, taking up half the page was a picture of Tommy and Jude. The boys were leaning against a fence in front of a cage of monkeys while Tommy and Jude stood with their arms wrapped around each other. It looked like Tommy's hand was groping Jude's ass and she had her hand cradled against his cheek, face tilted up to his, lips touching. 

"Guess this explains why they weren't fighting." Kwest smirked. "I should have known something was going on, I walked in on them in the studio yesterday and they scrambled apart. Hell, they even looked guilty. I probably lost the bet."

"So you think they…" she glanced at the kids who were sitting at the table waiting for their pizza and mouthed the words 'had sex.'

"Yeah. Makes sense. The sexual tension's gone so they aren't fighting…"

"What's sexal tenson?" Brady asked as he stood up in his chair.

Sadie glanced at Kwest and then smiled at Brady. "You should ask your daddy about that later."


	14. Chapter 14

Part 14 

A trail of clothes littered the floor from the front entry to the living room. Soft music played in the background, the strains of a David Gray CD filtering through the otherwise quiet house. It was mostly dark, the only light coming from a few candles set up on the coffee table next to a bowl of fresh strawberries and a bottle of champagne.

Jude propped herself up on her elbow and looked over at Tommy. Somehow, after the boys had been dropped off at Sadie's they'd come home to have dinner, just the two of them, no interruptions. But as soon as they'd walked in the door, all of their plans had flown out the window as fast as their clothes had fallen to the floor. Now they were laying on the floor, propped up by some of the couch cushions in a little nest of blankets that Tommy had grabbed from the spare closet. 

They hadn't moved for several hours other than to grab the fruit and champagne and put on the music. They were too busy enjoying being together, taking advantage of the alone time. 

"Don't you feel a little bit guilty?" she asked. Their legs were entwined underneath the blankets, her chest pressed tightly against his side, her fingers tracing small circles along his ribcage.

He opened his eyes and met her gaze. "Guilty for what?"

"Leaving the boys with Sadie."

"She offered. She could have said no," he pointed out.

"That's not what I mean. I just…I kind of miss them."

His expression changed and he sat up, hugging her to him. He kissed her forehead. "I know what you mean, but just look at it this way. If they were here, we wouldn't be…here." He glanced around the room. "Naked, alone…" He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"You're right…I love this. I guess maybe part of me feels like Sadie's going to figure out what's going on," Jude admitted as she rested her head against his shoulder.

"The whole world's going to know after today's Talk National article."

"Yeah. I guess that means we should take full advantage of this opportunity, huh?"

"You can take advantage of me anytime, Harrison, anytime."

She smiled and let her hands drift under the blanket, trailing lazily up his leg to his thigh. She quickly found her target and wrapped a hand around him, squeezing gently, feeling him harden in her grasp. "How about now?" she whispered. 

Moments later the sound of heavy breathing and soft moaning filled the room. Tommy rolled Jude beneath him, entering her swiftly. She wrapped her legs around his waist pushing him further into her, reveling in the feel of him inside of her. She'd already lost track of all the times they'd made love in the past few days. It all seemed to blur together in a rainbow of sensation and emotion. She'd never felt as close to another person as she felt to Tommy. The way he looked at her, touched her, made her feel like she was beautiful and special, made everything she'd ever gone through in her life worth it to get to those moments with him.

Liquid heat filled her lower body as his hips pistoned, driving into her, pushing her towards her release. She was so close…so …

A loud ringing sound cut through the air, breaking up the quiet that surrounded them.

"What's that?" Jude panted. Tommy's movements paused, and his mouth abandoned the breast he'd been tormenting.

"The phone. Ignore it." His lips brushed against her skin again.

She pulled his head up. "Who would be calling here? We're supposed to be at the studio."

"It's probably not important," he assured her.

"What if it is?"

"They'd call our cell phones."

She nodded and was about to suggest resuming their actions when Tommy's cell phone started ringing. He groaned. "Don't go anywhere. Stay right where you're at," he commanded and got up to go search for the phone. 

She giggled as she watched him digging through their clothes pile, naked as the day he was born. It was quite the sight and she could sigh dreamily that she got to touch, kiss, lick, nibble and grope that body whenever she wanted now. 

Tommy made his way back over the blankets and settled next to Jude before answering. "Hello?"

She couldn't make out the other end of the conversation but saw his eyes roll. He mouthed the word 'Sadie' to her and guilt rushed through her. She really hated lying to her sister. But it wasn't so much lying as it was concealing the truth. Although she and Tommy hadn't exactly been stealthy, they just hadn't wanted to advertise the new development in their relationship. Of course the paparazzi was more than willing to tell everyone for them.

Tommy continued to listen to Sadie's end of the conversation before rolling his eyes again and handing the phone to Jude.

"Hey Sadie, what's going on?"

"Oh, nothing. Just wanted to check in and see how the recording session was going."

She was calling to check in? Something was up. 

"Are the boys okay?"

"Of course. They're great. No problems. You and Tommy okay?" She sounded funny, Jude thought. Like she was trying to hint at something.

"We're fine. Just in the middle of something." She was a terrible liar and she felt the rumble of Tommy's laughter against her back as she sat propped between his legs.

Sadie's response was a snort. "Yeah. I just bet. Listen, I'll just cut to the chase. Kwest and I need to know when you and Tommy started shagging like bunnies because there's a pool at G-Major. Be honest Jude. There's a new pair of shoes on the line."

Jude's mouth dropped open and she almost dropped the phone. Tommy grabbed it before it hit the ground. "What?" He asked, concern in his voice. He put the phone to his ear. "Sadie? What's wrong? What did you say to Jude?"

Jude watched him as he listened to Sadie, wondering if her sister was being as upfront with Tommy as she'd been with her. His eyes widened a little bit and he smirked. 

"I don't know what you're talking about Sadie." He wiggled his eyebrows at Jude and she covered her mouth with her hand to hold in the giggles that threatened to escape. "We were just taking a break……oh, that's the play back of one of the new songs. I'm sure Jude will let you hear it later. Listen, I better go. We really want to get this track down before it gets too late." He paused, listening to Sadie talk. "Yeah…okay, go ahead and put him on the phone."

Jude looked at him questioningly and Tommy shrugged. "I guess Brady wants to ask me something."

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

"That was just cruel, man." Tommy frowned at Kwest as they sat in front of the soundboard.

"I wish I could have seen your face when he asked," his friend countered, laughing as he imagined Tommy's reaction to Brady's 'sexal tenson' question.

"I can't explain that to a four year old." He groaned and raked a hand over his tired features. 

"You didn't seem to have any trouble telling that same four year-old you were biting Jude with her permission."

Tommy's head snapped up, startled by Kwest's taunt. "He told you that?"

"Oh, yeah. You're little guy was just a fountain of information."

"Jude told me…but I didn't want to listen."

"Speaking of Jude, what's really going on with you two?"

"Do I really need to answer that?"

"I gotta ask. The paparazzi knows more about your relationship than the your girl's own sister and brother in law. Why're you being so cloak and dagger?" Kwest looked a little hurt by Tommy's reticence to tell the truth about his relationship.

Pushing away from the soundboard he turned his chair to face his friend. "Look, it's nothing personal, it's just…really new and it's between us and we want to keep it that way, just for a little while. Because this isn't just dating and trying to see if it works…it's…" he paused, looking for the right word. "It's serious. Like, I want to marry her and be a family together serious."

Kwest's eyes got big at Tommy's confession. "Are you two…?"

"No! I haven't said anything to Jude about that yet. I don't want to freak her out. It's just that this thing with her, it's different. I can't even explain the how or why, but it's like…I just know that this is it. Did you feel that way with Sadie?"

Understanding painted Kwest's features as he nodded. "So what happens next?"

Tommy shrugged. "I don't know. A part of me wants to jump into things, make it permanent. But realistically I know it's too fast. And who's to say Jude even wants a built in family."

"Okay, now that's just you projecting. You're afraid that she doesn't want that, but there's a hell of a lot of evidence to the contrary. You want to marry her? I say, go for it. Maybe have a long engagement, whatever. But don't hesitate. You've both been waiting a long time for this to happen, no sense in dragging out the inevitable."  
Tommy smiled as Kwest grinned back at him. "Is that your official blessing?"

Kwest shrugged. "It can be if you want." He leaned forward. "I'm not saying you've got to do it tomorrow, but if you love each other…"

He didn't have to finish his thought, Tommy understood. His hesitation wasn't that he didn't think they could make it work. It did work. Kwest was right about there being plenty of evidence to support that. Since day one, Jude had done nothing but love the boys, going out of her way to make sure they were happy and safe and secure. Sure, they knew Tommy loved them, but there was something about Jude, something they'd instinctively identified with that had filled a gap in their lives. 

And she had told him, even cried over the guilt of wanting to be their mother when she wasn't. 

But the boys weren't the only reason for them to be together and he wanted to be sure she knew that too. There were so many other things that he loved about her and he wanted to spend the rest of his life telling her that every day. 

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

"You're avoiding me again," Sadie scolded over the phone. Jude rolled her eyes, balancing the phone between her shoulder and ear as she continued to help Noah with the zipper on his jacket.

"It's not avoiding. I've just been busy," she countered as she tugged on the zipper. Brady stood off to her right trying to shove his arms into the jacket sleeve rather unsuccessfully.

Sadie snorted. "Yeah…busy having sex."

"Did you need something? 'Cause I'm kind of on my way out the door with the boys." Jude ignored her sister's comment. She wasn't going to defend her sex life.

"Where are you going?"

"To Zeller's. Brady needs new jeans, he's getting too tall and wearing holes in the pairs he has now and Noah needs new pajamas. I promised he could get Ninja Turtles if we can find them." Jude readjusted the phone and reached for Brady to help him get his arms in his sleeves.

"I'll meet you there. I want to look for some play clothes for Marissa anyway. Besides, Kwest called and said he and Tommy were going to work late. I was calling to see if you guys wanted to eat dinner with us."

"Yeah, Tommy already called and said he was eating with Kwest. So we can do dinner…on one condition." She paused and released Brady, straightening to a standing position to grab her own coat.

"Condition?"

"Yes. No S-E-X talk around the kids and preferably not at all."

"You're not fun." Jude could practically hear the pout in her sister's voice.

"Sorry, but I'm not going to try and explain that to my four year-old, thank you very much. Now, we'll meet you at Zellers in twenty minutes. Don't make us wait." Jude hung up quickly, shoved the cell into her purse and pulled on her jacket.

The boys had disappeared and she called out for them. A moment later, they reappeared, their Nike's thudding on the wood floor as they ran to her, each holding their favorite toy of the day.

"Can I take wif?" Noah asked.

Jude groaned inwardly. There were those damn Quincy eyes again. They could talk a person into anything. She knew she should say no, because inevitably they always lost something when they went out but she gave in. "You can have it in the car, but not in the store."

Twenty-five minutes later Jude pulled into the Zeller's parking lot and spotted Sadie and Marissa, wearing matching coats, waiting by the entrance.

"Look guys, Aunt Sadie's here with Marissa," she told them, interrupting their Ninja Turtle war.

"Weally?" Noah's face perked up. Marissa was his favorite new buddy and when they reached the entrance he gave her a big hug.

"Aw…they're so cute," Sadie smiled alongside Jude as they watched the kids greet each other. "Too bad they're going to be cousins."

Jude's head shot up to look at her sister. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Sadie shrugged innocently, eyes sparkling with humor. "Well the latest story in Talk National is that you and Tom are secretly planning your wedding. Normally I wouldn't believe anything they wrote but since you don't talk to me anymore…"

Jude's response to Sadie was mild. "Laying it on a bit thick, don't you think?"

"It's been almost a week since we watched the boys. And you've yet to come out and say 'Sadie, Tom and I are sleeping together and it's amazing and fantastic and here are all the details'."

Jude walked past Sadie and took hold of Brady and Noah's hands. "Let's go get a cart guys." She walked them inside and got them both situated, with Noah in the front basket and Brady in the back. Then she turned to her sister.

"First," she started as they wheel the carts towards the kid's section, "I would never just come out and say anything except that Tommy and I are…in a relationship." She steered to avoid another shopper who cut between their carts. "Second, if there were details to give, you would not be hearing them. I don't ask you for details."

"I know and maybe I want to share my wisdom with you Jude, did you ever think of that?" Jude's response was a dirty look. "Okay, fine. No details. I guess it's enough that you're admitting that you're together now. Just, do me a favor."

Jude eyed her warily. "What?"

"Promise that you'll tell me about the wedding first. I don't want to read about it when I'm in line at the grocery store."

She almost tripped over the cart at that. It was too soon to talk weddings. She and Tommy had only been together, together for two weeks. "If there's any wedding talk, I promise you'll be the first to know," she offered.

Sadie was happy with that and quickly let the way through the store. Now that she had gotten her info there was serious shopping to do.

They were looking through the toddler clothes section, Jude rifling through the pants, trying to find a new pair for Brady. He was already wearing 5T's and she was wondering if they were going to have to switch to the regular boys sizes. 

"Brades, what do you think of these?" she held up a pair of dark denim pants and watched as he made a face of disgust. 

"Those are ugly, mommy. I don't like da pockets."

Well, he was certainly Tommy's kid that was for sure. "Well, what do you want then?" She pointed to another pair, something that was designed to be similar to the jeans in the older kids clothing section.

"I want jeans like daddy," Brady insisted.

Jude laughed and ruffled his hair. "Daddy's jeans cost more than my apartment's rent." Okay, that was a slight exaggeration, but not by much. She pulled another pair off the display. "How about these?" As Brady looked them over, she eyed them for length until he nodded his approval. They were the same pair as before, just a different wash. "You are going to be a hand full," she murmured as she threw the new jeans into the cart.

That task accomplished she moved on to another rack to look for pajamas for Noah. 

"I like dos," he pointed, reaching out to the rack and pulling the pajama set from the hangers. Jude quickly grabbed them before they hit the ground.

Her nose wrinkled as she looked at them. "Sponge Bob? Really?"

Noah nodded, but Jude shook her head. "How's about…" she flipped through the various hangers before triumphantly holding up "Ninja Turtles," she exclaimed. But Noah shook his head. "No, momma, not da boo." She put it back on the rack and searched again, remembering that Noah didn't care for the Ninja Turtle with the blue mask for some reason.

"Having trouble?" Sadie's cart came to a stop a few feet away. Marissa was perched in the front, clothes piled high behind her.

"Did you buy out the girl's section?" Amusement laced Jude's question.

Sadie leaned forward, resting her forearms on the front handle of the cart. "Nah. She's growing too fast. And some of it's for the new baby. Just a few essentials."

Jude's head snapped up. "I thought you were going to wait and find out the sex later? It's another girl?"

Sadie wagged a finger at her. "Uhn uh…you said no s-e-x talk in front of the kids."

Jude rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine. Whatever. Throw my words back at me." She eyed her niece, smiling at the little girl as she clutched what appeared to be a brand new purse that, wouldn't you know, matched the one Sadie was carrying. "You're mommy is silly, Marissa." 

Marissa giggled and showed Jude the new purse and smiled big as Jude admired it. 

"Dat's stupid!" Brady yelled as he stood up in the back end of the cart. Marissa's eyes filled with tears.

"Brady! That's not nice. Say you're sorry." Jude commanded.

"But purses are stupid. They is for girls," he argued.

"You don't say that. It's not nice," she reiterated.

Brady started to pout. His arms crossed in front of his chest and he tucked his chin down.

"Daddy's not going to like it if he hears you're not being nice to girls."

"I wasn't mean!" he insisted.

Sadie was laughing and Marissa had already stopped crying and was playing with some other toy that had magically appeared from beneath the pile in the back of their cart. "I'm so glad I had a girl."

Good grief…kids were difficult sometimes. Jude sighed. "I'm just going to ignore this. I am sorry on Brady's behalf."

"Good enough for me. It's not like Marissa really cares. She let Brady bite her for goodness sake." Her sister smiled. "Now…hurry up will ya? I'm starving."

"All right, fine. Help me find Noah some pj's and then we can go eat."

"Just pick some," she said impatiently. "He won't know."

Jude shot her a look of disbelief. "Uh…these are Tommy's offspring. You remember that right? The three of them have matching tennis shoes and button downs…"

"I'm imagining your Christmas pictures, Jude. Matching sweaters and shined shoes… It's so cute I want to gag."

"Ugh…remember when mom would buy us matching dresses and fix our hair the same? I'm never doing that to my kids." She shook her head, cringing at the horror of the memory.

"Oh…I will, most definitely." Sadie smiled as if she was picturing it. The perfect little Christmas card photo.

"Well, I doubt I could get Tommy and the boys into matching sweaters. Maybe layered t-shirts and button downs with their hair gelled just right." She smiled at the image it painted, but the smile quickly turned to a frown. It was too soon to think about family photos or anything even related to that.

"You should buy all three of them matching pajamas," Sadie suggested. "That would be…so cute."

Forty-five minutes later Jude was still laughing about the pajama purchase. "Tommy's going to be mortified," she told Sadie. They had ended up at McDonald's once they finished shopping. The kids were playing in the enclosed play area, even thought Jude had initially protested, especially when they wanted to play in the ball cage. She'd read that those things were a hotbed of germs, but the boys had turned those puppy-dog faces on her and she couldn't say no. In the end it allowed her and Sadie to sit and talk while the kids were playing.

"Whatever. There's nothing wrong with Spiderman. Besides, those were the best ones they had. I don't think he would have wanted Thundercats."

"True." Jude picked at the French fries the boys had abandoned in favor of playing.

"Eh, just tell him it was the boys' idea."

"What about Kwest? Will he wear the pajama pants you bought him?"

Sadie laughed. "He's not exactly picky. I think he'd wear the first thing he pulled out of the drawer in the morning if he had his say."

Now Jude snickered at the idea of her brother-in-law being dressed by his wife and having to meet her approval before Sadie let him leave the house in the morning. At least Tommy came with built-in taste, although the same couldn't really be said for her. She was more like Kwest when it came to clothes. If it was clean, she was okay with it.

"This is fun, ya know?" Sadie commented as they continued to watch the kids. Noah was throwing balls at Brady's head and Marissa was helping. 

"Yeah. It is." She knew she'd been avoiding Sadie, but it wasn't because she didn't enjoy spending time with her. It was because she really didn't want to deal with her sister's probing questions. They'd gotten past that now, so it was easy just to enjoy hanging out.

"So…any baby updates?" Jude knew Sadie had been to the doctor almost two weeks, but she'd been in her own little world at the time and forgot to ask about it.

Sadie rubbed her practically non-existent bump. "Good. I'm at fourteen weeks and everything is progressing normally."

"So you're still going to wait to find out if its another girl?"

"Kwest wants to wait, but I want to know. I mean, we both wanted to be surprised with Marissa, but now I'm thinking that I'd prefer to be prepared, especially if it's a boy. I don't have anything for boys."

"I don't think Tommy kept any of the boys' baby stuff, otherwise I'd say not to worry." Jude took a sip of her soda and finished off the rest of the fries.

"Did you just eat all of those French fries?" Sadie was looking at her like she'd grown a second head. "You hate French fries."

Okay, that was weird. "I don't hate them," she defended. 

"Whatever, Jude. When you were little you used to spit them out and feed them to the dog. And you never order them when we go out to eat…"

Now Jude was looking at Sadie like she had grown a second head. "Are you seriously going to make a big deal out of a couple of French fries?"

Sadie shrugged. "I'm just pointing out that it's odd…and then I'm going to subtly ask if you and Tommy are being careful because I always eat food the I don't normally care for when I'm pregnant."

Jude's eyes widened. "I am NOT pregnant!" she choked out, her face flushed. "We're careful, okay? I've been on the pill since…well, for awhile." She'd been on birth control since that awful Barrie incident. Her mother had been adamant that it was necessary in case Jude made any other 'careless' mistakes. 

Sadie actually looked disappointed. "You and Tommy don't want anymore little Quincy's running around?"

"We haven't actually talked about it other than the whole prevention aspect." Truthfully that conversation had been more of an afterthought after they first made love. It hadn't occurred to her to mention it until he pointed out their lack of protection. When she explained, Tommy had almost seemed disappointed.

"Well, if you hurry up and change your mind, we could be pregnant at the same time. How fun would that be? And the little cousins could play together." She said it like she was holding out a piece of candy, attempting to entice Jude to give in.

"I think you can give up that little fantasy. Two weeks of a relationship does not mean that Tommy and I are ready to procreate."

"Please, at least be honest with yourselves. You two have pretty much been it for each other since you were eighteen. And think of how cute your kids would be…talk about the genetic jackpot. Tom's eyes, your hair, both of your musical talent…"

Jude forced herself to get up and start gathering the trash from their dinner. If she stayed and listened to anymore of her sister's baby talk, she'd be in deep trouble. Sadie hadn't been captain of the debate team for nothing. She could seriously be convincing and when she started talking about a little baby with Tommy's eyes and Jude's hair…well… "I am ignoring you and anything else you decide to say on this subject. It's done. Think of something else to talk about."

Her sister was pouting slight as Jude went to dump the trash, but she hardened her heart. If anything, the baby talk was hitting just a little too close to home. Jude wasn't opposed to having a baby with Tommy. As thrilled as she would be, it was too scary to contemplate. They were just starting out and it just…it couldn't happen now. She was working on an album and she wanted to be able to enjoy their relationship and the boys. Life could settle just as it was and she'd be perfectly happy. Maybe someday… But there was plenty of time for that in the future.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Tommy got home and found Jude and the boys curled up on the sofa in the living room, watching TV. He immediately went to join them on the couch, slipping under the blanket they were cuddled under. The boys started talking at once, telling him all about their day. As he listened, he leaned over and gave Jude a quick kiss hello, but before it could become more his attention diverted back to Brady who was using his hands to tell a story about shopping.

"An' I tol' mommy dat I wanted pants like you and den I gots new ones and we all gots new pajamas with Spiderman. See Daddy, see." He stood up, moving the whole blanket to show off his new pajama pants and white t-shirt. Noah stood up next to him in a matching outfit. His pants were too big and Jude had rolled the top band over to fit his waist and cuffed the pant legs. Tommy laughed and tickled Noah. "I think you need to grow into those, pal."

Jude sighed. "They're too skinny. And they didn't have any smaller sizes and it was very important they match." She smiled. "I have no idea where they would get an idea like that."

"There's nothing wrong with being coordinated. Not all of us our fashion challenged," he teased. 

"I'm glad you think that way, because, guess what? The boys wanted their daddy to look just like them."

Tommy's brow quirked. "Uh…really?"

Jude smiled innocently. "They insisted. Your very own Spiderman pajama pants are waiting for you on the bed."

"Daddy you should wear yours and den we will all match," Brady insisted. "Mommy gots 'em too." He pointed to Jude and pulled back the blanket to reveal Jude wearing an identical pair of pajama pants and a white tank top.

"So we'll all match then, huh?"

Jude leaned forward and whispered in his ear. "If you go put them on now, I'll help you take them off later." The seductive promise had him up off the couch in record time. He went off to the bedroom and quickly donned the pj's and returned to the living room where he was greeted with bright, excited smiles. 

He'd never worn a pair of character themed pajama pants in his life, but he really didn't mind the experience, not even Jude's amusement over it, because it made them seem…like a family and it was nice. More than nice. It felt right.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

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The dark Sedan had been sitting across the street intermittently for several days. Jude hadn't really taken the time to notice it, and assumed it either belonged to a neighbor or the paparazzi. It barely caught her attention, unimportant along side everything else that was happening. She'd taken a leave of absence from school, electing to take incompletes on her course work for the semester while she finished her album. Two months into production and she and Tommy were just two songs away from its completion. After that there would be promotional events and appearances and she really wanted to spend as much time with him and the boys as possible. With all that going on, she was too busy to notice the car or the fact that it seemed to pop up everywhere she did. If she did notice, it was easily brushed off. She was used to the intrusiveness of the press in her personal life.

Most of the time she was able to ignore the paparazzi. Her life was full of too many good things, the least of which the fact that her album was almost done and had made her realize that she really wanted her music career back. And of course there was Tommy and their relationship. It seemed to just get better and better. They'd been together almost two months. She pretty much lived there and enjoyed everything about the life they had together. Breakfast in the mornings…waking up the boys and helping them get dressed before Mrs. Du Tois got there. Then she and Tommy would go to the studio and work until Jude went to pick Brady up from pre-school. After that they'd have dinner together. After which, the boys would play, and she and Tommy would work on music or just relax and as soon as the boys were in bed…they were too, only they definitely weren't sleeping. She had to admit that sometimes, the alone time with Tommy was her favorite part of the day. She loved making love with him, loved the way he touched her and kissed her and made her feel like she was the only woman in the world for him. And she…she just plain loved him. It wasn't like before, when she was eighteen. That was different. It was still love, but this was better, more mature…deeper. And she actually didn't care if the whole world knew about it, either. Which was good, because every time she and Tommy stepped out of the house together, they ended up on the cover of a tabloid. So far the articles had been fairly decent, none of them too ridiculous, although there had been one about their secret wedding that had been almost comical. Regardless, Jude still tensed whenever she passed a newsstand.

"No. Brady, put that back," Jude steeled her resolve against Brady's quivering bottom lip as he reached to put the candy bar back. They were standing in line at the grocery store, waiting to check out and in the span of three minutes he'd tried to con her into buying at least ten different things.

"Mommy, why can't I haf it?" he asked, eyes teary.

Jude wanted to pick him up, but she had her hands full of the few things she'd needed to pick up for dinner that night. Tommy was cooking, had insisted it was his turn, and Noah was at home helping him. Brady had been getting into trouble so Jude had decided to bring him with her to pick up the extras.

"Sweetheart, we're going to eat when we get home. Daddy's making lasagna just for you," she tried to explain. The line moved forward and she was finally able to unload the items in her arms. She reached for Brady. "Besides, you and Noah get to have your favorite ice cream if you eat all your dinner."

That seemed to satisfy him and he immediately perked up. He took hold of Jude's hand and stood next to her, more patient than she'd ever seen him be. An affectionate smile danced across her lips as he looked up at her angelically. She bent over and dropped a kiss of his forehead. As she straightened up to look at the cash register, she caught sight of the newest issue of Talk National. Her eyes widened as she took in the full-page picture of herself and Tommy. They were waiting in line for coffee; he had his arms wrapped around her from behind, his hands on her stomach. An arrow had been drawn on top of the picture and the words 'The Bump Watch Begins' were in capital letters.

What?

Jude felt her face turning bright red as she grabbed a copy of the trashy magazine from the stand and flipped through it, one handed, until she found the article. Brady was eyeing the candy again, but she didn't care. Apparently the world now thought she was pregnant. Oh dear god. There was another picture inside of her shopping in the baby boutique Sadie had dragged her to the week before. Clearly the press was ignoring the fact that Jude had been there with her obviously pregnant sister and that she herself had not made any purchases.

As she stared at the article, her mind whirled, suddenly wanting to prove the press wrong. She'd play right into their hands if that's what they wanted. In fact, she was positive she'd seen that black sedan in the parking lot and fairly certain that it was some tabloid photographer trying to get his 'money' shot. Well…she'd just show him.

Telling the cashier she had to run to get something, Jude grabbed Brady and marched off to the pharmacy aisle in search of the items she would need for her little plan. She knew exactly what she wanted and quickly grabbed it before hurrying back to the checkout stand where the rest of their groceries waited. When they finally walked out of the store, Brady was clutching an unopened candy bar while Jude juggled the bags and held onto his hand.

She heard the familiar clicking of the camera and fought back a triumphant smile even as she 'accidentally' lost her footing and her hold on the bags, the contents of which landed all over the pavement.

Jude righted herself but could hear the whir of the paparazzi taking their photos as she tried to pick up shredded cheese, garlic bread and…tampons.

"Mommy is you hurwt?" Brady asked.

Jude gave him a reassuring smiled, the box of tampons still in her hands. After another second of hesitation, she shoved everything back into the grocery sack and steered Brady toward the car.

She was actually almost laughing by the time she got him into his car seat and started the car. The brief thought that maybe she should try her hand at acting only amused her further. The paparazzi were ruthless. They'd done just what she thought they would, taking pictures of her embarrassing fall as well as her spilled purchases. The list of items would be posted on all of her unofficial fan sites before the end of the evening, including the tampons. That ought to nip those pesky pregnancy rumors in the bud. It was bad enough that Sadie was on her case constantly asking about hers and Tommy's relationship, she didn't need the entire world thinking it was their business.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYY

"Bath time," Jude called out as she entered the boys' room. They were playing cars on a track Tommy helped them build earlier.

"No!" Noah exclaimed, dropping the cars in his hands and shooting off towards the door to escape. She tried to grab as he ran past her but he was too quick. Sighing, she let him go and looked at Brady who had continued to play, ignoring her, pretending that he hadn't heard what she said.

"Brades…It's bath time."

"I know," he told her and continued to play.

"Okay, fine. I'll go get daddy." She threw her hands up and turned to leave. Tommy was downstairs cleaning the kitchen. The boys had made an ungodly mess eating ice cream earlier, which was the entire reason for the bath. Chocolate gook covered them, smeared everywhere- on their clothes, tuck in their hair, probably even their ears.

At the mention of Tommy, Brady dropped his cars and ran off toward the bathroom, stripping off his dirty clothes as he went. Jude's chuckled turned to a yawn as she followed him. She was seriously tired. It had been a long day of recording; followed by the stupid paparazzi incident and then the boys had been wild for most of the night, not listening to anything they were told. When she reached the bathroom Brady has his arms stretched out above his head, with the shirt pulled over, his head stuck inside. She helped him out of the shirt and started filling the bathtub.

Tommy airplaned a squirming Noah into the bathroom. "Here comes Mr. Stinkybutt." He followed that with airplane noises and both boys were laughing and repeating the word 'butt' over and over…

Tommy rolled his eyes and mumbled a 'sorry' to Jude, but she shrugged it off. It was better than some of the other stuff they repeated.

"Okay, so do you want the Nemo bubbles or the Spiderman bubbles?" She asked the question and immediately regretted giving them a choice. Brady said Spiderman and Noah said Nemo and they started to argue like only little boys could. Tommy sat next to the bathtub laughing and Jude decided to let him sort out the bubble situation while she grabbed towels from the cupboard. He helped each boy pour some of the bubbles into the bath water as it filled. Once the tub was full Tommy scrubbed Noah down and Jude started to wash Brady's hair while they splashed around.

"Does I gots a baby in my tummy?" Brady asked, the question coming out of nowhere and startling Jude into stillness. Tommy stopped moving too and caught Jude's wide eyes. He shrugged and Jude grimaced. He was probably just going to pretend that he hadn't heard the question. He did that a lot when he didn't want to answer.

Rolling her eyes in Tommy's direction she looked back at Brady and smiled, tickling his tummy. "No silly. You're a boy. You don't have a baby in your tummy."

"Oh." Brady looked confused.

"Does aunt Sadie gots a baby in her tummy?" he asked.

Jude blinked and the reasons for Brady's questions suddenly made sense. Her sister had stopped by with Marissa to show Jude the Talk National article, giddy over having her picture in a tabloid. And it was the first time she'd worn real maternity clothes, making her baby bump decidedly more pronounced.

"Yeah…aunt Sadie has a baby in her tummy. And Marissa will have a little baby brother or sister soon. Kinda like you have Noah," she explained and went back to scrubbing him down. Noah was almost clean; not having the same inquisitive mind as his brother and Tommy was washing his hair, ignoring Jude and Brady's conversation.

"Can you haf a baby in your tummy?" he asked.

Tommy made a choking sound and Jude vowed she was going to give him a piece of her mind later. "No. Not right now, Brades. Now close your mouth so you don't get soap in there while I wash your face." He shut his mouth, squeezing his eyes tightly while she wiped off the chocolate smeared on his cheeks.

Her mind drifted as she planned her lecture for Tommy, but her train of thought was distracted as Brady tried to crawl out of the tub. "No you don't," she stopped him. "You're not clean yet."

"I gotta go potty." The potty dance he started to do was a clear sign that he wasn't lying and she grabbed a towel to haul him from the bathtub so he could go. She glanced over at Tommy and could see him smirking as he finished up with Noah.

"I can see you smiling, Quincy. What is so funny?"

He glanced over at her from the side, smile spreading. "Nothing. It's just…it's nice to have you here fielding some of Brady's questions."

It caught her off guard as a particularly sweet thing to say and she scooted closer to give him a lingering kiss on the cheek, thoughts of lecturing far from her mind.

"Mommy!" Noah yelled to get her attention and sent a big splash of water in Jude's direction, soaking the entire front of her shirt. He grinned unrepentantly, dark hair plastered to his forehead, wet eyelashes highlighting the blue of his eyes. Her squeezed and she planted a kiss on his cheek, giving him the attention he'd been asking for.

"Do you haf a penis?" Brady's voice interrupted, catching both Tommy and Jude off guard.

Unable to stop it, Jude started giggling and had to turn her head into the sleeve of Tommy's shirt to hide her amusement. If Braden got even a hint that he was funny he'd keep it up all night, trying to be as goofy as possible. "I think it's your turn," she murmured into Tommy's arm.

Brady brushed past Jude and started to climb over the rim of the tub, splashing Noah, who giggled and splashed back and once that started, it appeared that the question was forgotten.

"See," Tommy pointed out. "My avoidance tactic works. He just forgets if I pretend that I didn't hear or don't understand."

He had no sooner said the words then Brady's sweet little voice giggled out, "I love my penis."

He said it so matter-of-factly, which such good cheer, like it really was something he loved. Tommy let out a bark of choked laughter and Jude's whole body started to shake with her own fit of giggles and she tried to turn away, not wanting to laugh but unable to control it.

"Noah loves his penis too," Brady added.

Jude looked up in time to see Noah nodding. "I wuv it," he agreed.

It was too much. Tommy was trying to look stern as he told Brady that he couldn't say that word, but the little boy looked at him with wide questioning eyes. "But dat's what it is daddy," he insisted.

Jude was still laughing into her hand, but she saw Tommy's slack-jawed look. A parent couldn't argue with that kind of logic.

Twenty minutes later, bath time finally finished and boys tucked into bed, Jude was still chuckling as she threw her entire body onto Tommy's bed. He collapsed next to her, staring up at the ceiling. "I never thought I'd have to have a penis talk with a four-year old," he muttered with disbelief.

She shifted over and curled up against his side, snuggling until her head was pillowed on his chest, arm draped across his stomach. For a long moment they just stayed like that, both breathing steadily, relaxing.

Her eyes felt heavy and Tommy's lips pressed against the top of her head. "As much as I'd like to continue our 'sex every night of the week' streak…I just don't think I can. I'm exhausted."

Jude's tired sight echoed the sentiment. They stirred only enough to get themselves ready for bed and then returned to virtually the same position sharing a kiss and a nose brush before each drifted off to sleep.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Darius watched from his open office doorway as Tom Quincy strolled through the front doors of G-Major. He smiled at the receptionist, greeting her warmly. As he continued on towards his office the smile never left his face and he offered more 'good morning' greetings to his co-workers. The man was one giant ball of 'happy'. And if that wasn't annoying enough, he whistled constantly, usually some song of Jude's that they were working on. After almost two months of the whistling and the smiling and the cheerfulness, Darius would have thought he'd be used to it. Hell, he should be thrilled because 'happy' Tom was a million times better to work with than broody, angsty Little Tommy Q had ever been. The trouble-making bad boy had become a family man, one who was finally settling into the life he'd wanted with the woman he'd dreamed about.

Jude was just as disgustingly happy.

At first Darius was a little concerned that a personal relationship between the two might cause problems, but he'd held his tongue and was glad for it now. It had been his secret hope that Tommy's return might help bring Jude back, but what had resulted, despite his deviousness, was…magic. Jude's album was inspired and the production had been going extremely well. Tommy didn't seem to be cutting her any slack when it came to recording and when they weren't in the studio, the two were generating the kind of publicity every record company dreamed of. Anticipation for Jude's album was continuing to increase because of everyone's fascination with her and Tommy's relationship. Even Darius had to admit what a striking couple they made and a completely adorable little family.

"Quincy!" Darius called out as Tommy walked by.

Tommy stopped and turned toward Darius with a raised eyebrow. "You need something D?"

He motioned for Tommy to enter the office and waited until he was seated to speak. "How's Jude's album coming? Still on schedule?"

Tommy smiled. "It's great. I finished the final mix of 'Taking Chances' yesterday. It sounds amazing. Two more songs and the whole thing will be ready."

"Good…" D nodded and grinned. "Bring the final mix in when you get a chance. If it's as good as I'm thinking, based on that rough cut you let me listen to, I want to put that out as her first single off the album."

If it was possible, Tommy's smile grew wider. "That's great. It's Jude's favorite song, so far."

Darius had to agree that it was the best she'd written. The girl was at the top of her game and he had no doubt the reason for that, the inspiration was sitting in the chair in front of him.

"I also want to start planning a mini-concert. Maybe with SME if their schedule allows. But first, that movie soundtrack is getting fast-tracked and the studio is asking for more music. I know she's already contributed a few songs and the studio's gone for each of them, so I'd like to see if she could come up with anything else."

Tommy's brow scrunched and he scratched his head. "I don't know, D." He paused and Darius saw worry flash in his eyes momentarily. "Maybe give her a day or two before you ask. She's been working really hard, writing as much as possible and she was still juggling classes up until a couple of weeks ago. I think she's kind of exhausted. In fact, she wasn't feeling the greatest this morning. I…uh, told her to come in this afternoon instead."

Darius' nodded and then opened his mouth and proceeded to shock the hell out of Tommy. "Look…the album's coming along, ahead of schedule and I want out girl healthy and happy. Why don't you two both take a break? Finish whatever you need to today and then take a long weekend. If you happen to come back with a hit song…"

Tommy smirked. "I'm not gonna question this. I'm just gonna nod and get the hell of the office before you change your mind."

Darius watched him go with a smirk, pleased over the good deed he'd managed to do. After a moment he schooled his expression into it's usual stoic, disinterested state and got back to work. He had people to call, publicity stunts to arrange.

He spent his whole afternoon on the phone, wheeling and dealing in the interests of G-Major and its artists. He was getting ready to head out for his afternoon martial arts class when the front receptionist buzzed in.

"Sir…" her voice was tentative and unusually somber.

"What is it, Carol?"

There was a pause before she spoke over the intercom again. "Uhm, there's someone who's insisting they see Mr. Quincy. But he left several hours ago." Darius could hear another woman's voice speaking in the background and his skin prickled with unease.

"Did she give a name?"

"She says she's his wife."

Darius stopped moving entirely, completely caught off guard by the announcement. He cleared his throat and pressed the intercom button.

"Send her in."

He was going to miss his class. But he had a feeling that the meeting that was about to take place was going to be a lot more important that the instruction he was missing. He took his eat behind the desk and waited.

The heavy office door swung open; the force of the push at odds with the petite woman standing in the doorway.

"Darius Mills," she purred. "We meet again."

"What do you want Angie?" Darius didn't have time for this girl's games. Three years ago she'd messed with Tommy's head so badly that he'd had to leave. He had assumed that with Tommy's return his ex-wife was no longer an issue.

Angie sauntered into the room. Wavy brown hair framed angelic features at odds with sharp, calculating eyes. She was still tiny, but her presence was so large that a person barely noticed. She was used to eyes gravitating to her, watching her, admiring her.

"Can't a girl just stop in to say 'Hi' for old time's sake?" She sank into the chair across from his desk, crossing her legs slowly, her short skirt hiking up her thighs.

Darius' eyes narrowed. "A normal girl perhaps. A strung out trouble maker like yourself needs an appointment."

Her smiling response was insincere. "I see you're as friendly as ever."

"Cut the crap. What do you want?"

When she realized she wasn't going to be able to charm Darius her expression changed, taking on a haunted, remorseful look that might have been believable if he hadn't been keeping an eye on her and her whereabouts for the last three years. Angie Quincy was not a nice girl. Not anymore. Even so, tears filled her eyes, one falling artistically down a smooth cheek before she gingerly wiped it away. "I'm here to get my family back."

Darius leaned back in his chair and studied the woman in front of him. He could make one phone call and find out anything he needed to about her, but he knew enough to know that two and a half years ago, three months after Noah's birth, Tommy had kicked her out on her ass with a large payout in her purse to keep her away from the boys. She'd taken the money and hadn't looked back since. He'd bet anything she was out of money. It would be easy enough to pay her off, send her away without Tommy ever being the wiser. But if he did that, she'd only come back and stir up trouble when she needed something again. That was the last thing Darius wanted. Despite the trouble he sometimes caused in Jude and Tommy's life, he cared about them both in his own way and wanted them to continue being happy. Paying her off would only put off the problem for a while; it wouldn't take care of it.

"So what would you like me to do about this?" he finally asked.

She seemed a bit surprised by the question, but straightened in her chair. "I wasn't planning to ask for your help. I came to talk to Tommy, but the woman out front said he'd gone home for the day. But if you're offering…"

Darius waited for her to go on.

"I want my kids back. Realistically, I want us to be a family again…but I'm not stupid. I've seen the tabloids." She looked down at her hands and took a deep shaky breath, feigning upset. "I know he's moved on with…Jude." It was obvious she didn't like the idea, her features pinched as she said Jude's name.

Darius gave her a slight nod to indicate the truth in that statement.

"I also know that I've messed up. I was a druggie and …I did a lot of terrible things, the least of which was let Tom take my kids away from me."

"If I remember it didn't take much to convince you to move on, Angie."

She scowled. "I was messed up, but I've been clean for three months. And I want another chance."

He wasn't inclined to believe her. If anything, she was only making him more suspicious.

"Normally I'd stay out of something like this," he told her, voice even and detached. "But, Tom's like family to me and because of that…" The words trailed off and he looked her in the eye. "Keep yourself out of sight for a few days. I'll be in touch and tell you what your next move should be."

Her eyes narrowed, lips pursed and he was certain she was about to protest but she capitulated with a jerky nod and stood up, smoothing down the tight skirt. "I'll be back."

Darius waited until she'd left the room to pick up his phone. This was a problem that needed immediate attention and he knew just the man for the job. In three days he'd have all the information he needed to get Angie out of Tommy's life forever.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

It had been years since she'd gone by anything other than her maiden name. Angie Quincy seemed like another person from another lifetime. Truthfully, the Angie that had married Tom Quincy in a fit of teenage rebellion had disappeared long ago, never to return. But the name suited her purposes now and it hadn't fazed her to use it again.

Turning from Darius' office, she walked assuredly toward the other offices. It was time to peak in on Tommy, see what he'd been up to. You could learn a lot about most people just by looking at the place they worked, most specifically the desk they worked at. There were usually pictures, things to remind a person of the life they enjoyed outside of work. Tommy wouldn't be any different and so she made her way into his office, hoping to get a glimpse of the man her husband had become in her absence.

She was not entirely prepared for what she found.

It was a small office, the desk taking up a good deal of space, leaving enough room for two chairs. The most important features were the music system on the shelves the computer that sat prominently displayed on the right side of the desk. Sliding around, Angie sank into his desk chair, touching the computer mouse, bringing the screen to life. It was password protected and she ran through a list of possibilities. When they'd been married he used their wedding date, only changing it when Brady was born. Not hard to break into his emails and such when the most important dates in his life involved her as well. She pondered what might be important to him now. She would have tried birthdays but she was sure he wouldn't still be using Brady's and she honestly didn't remember Noah's. She didn't want to acknowledge the other possibility but knew that she'd have to. Seconds later, Jude's birth date allowed her access and the computer desktop opened to reveal a picture that nearly made her choke with resentment.

Four grinning faces stared back at her.

The photo was recent, the backdrop a simply decorated living room with beige couches. Tommy and Jude sat side by side, his arm wrapped around her as two dark haired imps covered their laps. She recognized Brady instantly, having had more time with him, but he looked so big, so different than he had as a baby. He was grinning from his spot on Tommy's lap, head tilted ever so slightly to the side, eyes squinting as he hammed it up for the camera. Her eyes moved to the other little boy. Noah. She didn't know him at all. Hadn't even really held him after he'd been born, leaving Tommy to take care of the son she'd used as a vain attempt to hold onto her struggling marriage. He looked like a smaller version of Brady; his smiling face serene as he sat sideways on Jude's lap, head nestled against her. Jude had her chin resting on the top of his head, arms wrapped around the little boy.

They looked like the perfect little family from their toothy smiles to their matching pajamas.

It was enough to make Angie's stomach roll with disgust.

She'd known what Jude was about all those years ago, known that the awkward teenager had been hopelessly in love with Tommy. It would have been cute- if not mildly annoying- if Jude's open adoration of her producer hadn't been returned so fully. Angie had known Tommy's feelings for Jude went beyond the realm of producer-artist. And she'd used it against both of them to get what she wanted.

Tearing her eyes from the computer screen, she glanced around the desk. A picture frame sat to the left of the computer and housed three photos. The one in the center was of the two boys, dressed identically and posing for a professional photo. In another, a much younger Noah had a hat on backwards and was grinning at the camera with toothless delight. Next to it was a picture of Brady that she vaguely remembered. She frowned as she looked at it, knowing immediately why she didn't care for it. It was taken at his first birthday party and he had cake all over his face. That whole party had been a disaster for her until she'd finally escaped towards the end. Tommy had invited everyone from G-Major over to help celebrate and Jude showed up early- guitar decorated cake in hand- to help set everything up. Angie had been a mere bystander, watching as her husband and Jude put up decorations and joked around. Then people had come and the birthday boy was brought out wearing some kind of punk baby outfit that had, of course, been a gift from Tommy's little protégé. Jude and Tommy took turns holding him most of the night; helping him open presents and then Tommy had insisted that Jude Harrison, Instant Star extraordinaire, sing Happy Birthday to his son. If she hadn't been high it would have been humiliating. As it was, she'd merely been biding her time until the party was over so she could go meet up with a few of her friends.

And that's why he owed her.

When he'd married her he had promised her excitement and good times, said he'd show her the world. For awhile, he'd made good on his promise, but the reality of what he really had to offer changed and he became someone else that wasn't enough for the girl who had been given a taste of something exciting, forbidden, tantalizing in a way picket fences and puppies could never be.

It seemed like Tommy had gotten his little fairytale though. He was creating the perfect little family. The proud father, the adorable kids, the perfect doting mother. Too bad it was only a fantasy. The tabloids could go on and on about 'Jommy' as the perfect couple settling into their perfect little life together, but she wasn't about to let anyone forget that, long before Jude Harrison ever stepped onto the scene, she had been the woman in his life. And even though Jude and Tommy seemed to have forgotten, the boys already had a mother and she was ready to reclaim them.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

He woke Jude with a kiss the next morning, leaning over her sleeping form and the little body that had wedged between them in the middle of the night. Noah's head rested on her chest, his mouth open, drooling as he snored softly.

Jude's eyes fluttered open at the kiss and she offered up a sleepy smile. "I didn't hear the alarm go off." The arm that wasn't curled around Noah stretched upwards as she yawned.

He smiled, kissed her lips again and brushed back her tangled hair. "Yeah…I shut it off so you could sleep in. But I'm heading out to do some errands. When I get back…I have a surprise for you. So don't go anywhere, okay?"

"Not even to work?" she asked, eyeing him curiously.

"Nope. No work for you or me for the rest of this week. Darius' orders."

"Mmmm…I don't know what you had to do to make that happen, but I love you for it," she mumbled sleepily and pulled his head down closer for a deeper kiss. His lips lingered against hers as his heart skipped a beat at words that had never passed her lips in quite that way before. It wasn't an out and out declaration, but it was something.

He pulled back, bumping his nose against hers lovingly. "I'll tell you more about it when I get back," he promised. He dropped a kiss on Noah's forehead and another against Jude's lips before he reluctantly pulled away. There would be plenty of time for he and Jude this weekend if his plans worked out and so far, it was all going very well.

Sadie and Kwest were taking the boys for the weekend and Tommy had promised them to do the same sometime in the future when they needed to get away. That left he and Jude completely free to do whatever they wanted and he planned to sweep her off her feet. After some careful planning, he'd booked them a room at a bed and breakfast located a couple hours from Toronto. He'd used a different name to keep it from going public and prevent any paparazzi interference.

Now he was headed over to Jude's apartment to grab some extra clothes for her, not that he intended to let her actually wear much of anything for most of the weekend. There wasn't much he needed to get, just a few things for the trip. A nice dress for dinner out one night. Most of her everyday stuff was already at his house, her clothes occupying half the space in his dresser. He'd been all too happy to make room for her stuff, had even suggested she bring more things over since she'd been spending all her time at his place anyway. They actually hadn't spent a night apart since they'd first made love. For all intents and purposes, they were living together. And that's what their weekend was going to be about. He wanted to make that a more permanent situation and officially ask her to move in. He'd been debating whether to bring up the whole marriage thing, but decided to wait. There was enough stuff going on with her album and potential tour that he didn't want to add the stress of a wedding on top of it. Which was really only an excuse because the truth was that he was scared shitless that asking her to marry him would make her feel trapped by his instant family.

Maybe in another couple of months…

Tommy made it to the apartment and smiled when he realized just how much stuff Jude actually had, wondering where it was all going to fit at his place. No matter, they'd make it work.

After retrieving the required items from the apartment, he headed over to the florist to make a special order.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

The flowers arrived at noon.

Jude had showered and gotten ready for the day and was lazily listening to some of the demos Tommy had brought home from the studio while Mrs. Du Tois helped the boys with some kind of noodle craft project in the kitchen. She'd done what Tommy suggested and slept in for a little longer until Noah had stirred. Then she'd gotten the boys dressed and ready for Mrs. Du Tois. When the older woman arrived, she'd taken one look at Jude and rushed her back off to bed, telling her she looked peaked.

She wasn't sure what that meant, but she'd definitely still been tired. She and Tommy had been putting in a lot of time with the album and, while she loved the boys dearly, they were a handful at nights sometimes. Noah had apparently had a bad dream and fallen out of bed. He'd started crying sometime around three that morning and Jude had rocked him back to sleep, snuggling with him and Tommy until he'd finally settled down. Unfortunately the boys were also early risers, whereas mornings had never really been Jude's friend. But things changed. She was just glad that she'd had the sense to put of the rest of her classes for a while. And having a few days off was a blessing that she wouldn't take for granted.

The doorbell rang and Jude answered it, surprised to see someone holding a large bouquet of beautiful pink tea roses. Her favorites. A blush spread across her cheeks and she lifted the gorgeous blooms to her nose, inhaling the fragrance. Her heart beat a little faster, stomach fluttering as she reached to open the card.

"_Come away with me,"_ was written out in Tommy's familiar, bold scrawl. When she looked up a long black stretch limo appeared in front of the house.

"Oh…there's a second note," the flower guys said, handing her another card.

Jude's stunned look was replaced with curiosity as she opened it.

"_There's a duffel bag by the front door. Grab it, and anything else you might need for the weekend."_

She moved automatically, obeying the note and rushing to grab her things from the bathroom and throw them into the already packed duffel bag. Rushing to the kitchen, she kissed the boys goodbye, telling them to have a good time and that she loved them. Mrs. Du Tois caught her eye and winked as she told Jude to have a good time.

Giddy, she made her way outside where the driver was immediately there, opening the limo door for her. She'd barely bent her head before a pair of strong arms pulled her inside and into someone's lap. Turning her head, she met Tommy's grinning face with her own smile and their lips melded together.

When they pulled apart moments later, she kept her face close. "Is this my surprise?" she whispered against his mouth, lips brushing together with each word.

"Did you like your flowers?" They separated enough for him to look into her eyes.

"I loved them." She'd loved them so much that they were sitting on the seat next to her, thrown aside hastily when she'd fallen into Tommy's lap. "What other surprises do you have in store for me?" Her arm was around his shoulder, fingers sifting through the hair at the nape of his neck. His own hands weren't idle and traced lazy patterns on the small of her back.

"That's for me to know," Soft kisses pressed along her jaw line as he spoke. "And for you to find out." The kisses made her skin tingle, and her bottom pressed into his lap, feeling a hardness that she would prefer to have inside her.

"As long as it involves you, me and nakedness, I'm up for anything," she told him before shifting to straddle his lap more completely.

"I love it when you read my mind," he told her before taking her mouth again.

It was the last thing either of them said, for a very long time.

TBC….


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

YYYYYYYYY

She'd been watching the house for a couple of days. Trying to remain a safe distance- far enough away to avoid notice but close enough to see what was going on. If she were being honest with herself, this was probably the craziest thing she'd done since she'd gotten sober. 

Perfectly manicured nails tapped the steering wheel in time to the music on the radio, not because she enjoyed the music but because if her hands were moving, doing something, then she wouldn't see them shaking. If they weren't shaking then she wouldn't look at them and think about how badly she wanted a drink or i_something/i_ to take the edge off.

It was almost four o'clock in the afternoon. Usually Jude arrived with Brady, having picked him up from pre-school. Angie had followed her a couple of times, but it was easier to wait until they got back to the house if she wanted to see anything. But Jude's car had been sitting in Tommy's driveway all day. As had the nanny's and no one had left the house. 

Her steering wheel tapping had stopped and her hands shook again. This time she reached for her purse and pulled out the cigarettes she'd stashed there. They didn't like people to smoke in rehab but it was better than a line of coke, she was sure. She lit the cigarette, rolling down the window to flick the ashes onto the pavement.

The little 'family' routine hadn't strayed much in the few days she'd been watching. But nothing normal had happened today, which was annoying. 

Angie's annoyance also extended to Darius. He'd put her off, telling her to wait. But she didn't want to wait to get her family back. And seeing poor little Jude's face when she realized Angie was back would make it all that much sweeter. Especially after all those tabloid articles. They were enough to make anyone sick, rambling on and on about Tommy and Jude, practically gushing about the couple, speculating on wedding plans and now a baby. She hoped to god that little rumor wasn't true. It would certainly make things harder. Tommy tended to be loyal when it came to women carrying his children. She should know; she'd definitely used it against him. If Jude were pregnant, there was no way she'd be able to convince him to give them another try. Not even for the sake of the boys.

YYYYYYYYY

"Are you done yet?" Tommy's lips grazed Jude's earlobe, nuzzling the shell gently. She shivered at the contact and felt him smile against her skin.

"Almost…" she managed to tell him. They spent the drive to the bed and breakfast making out like two teenagers, something Jude had never really gotten the chance to experience and had enjoyed thoroughly. The time had gone quickly and before she knew it they were checking into a beautiful secluded bed and breakfast under the name's John and Yoko. Jude was positive the B and B's owners knew who they really were, but the older couple said nothing and merely showed them to their room.

The room was really more like a suite that took up the entire second floor of the B and B. There was a sitting room and small kitchen, but the majority of the space was dedicated to an extravagant bathroom with a Jacuzzi tub and an excessively large bedroom with the most decadent bed Jude had ever seen. It seemed fitting that those would be the focal points of the rooms and she had every intention of enjoying the amenities so artfully displayed, most particularly the bed- after she finished writing her song.

The inspiration had struck while Tommy was helping her out of the limo and the lyrics had everything to do with how he made her feel. 

Now the poor guy was getting a bit antsy, waiting for her to finish up. Something had been said about dinner plans but if Jude finished the song, the only plans she really wanted to worry about were the ones Tommy had for that big bed.

Warm lips caressed her jaw and followed a path down her neck until they reached the edge of her shirt, pausing briefly before ignoring the thin cloth barrier and continuing the trail of kisses over her shoulder. 

Jude sighed and tried to focus on the notebook she was writing in, but it was no use. She was weak, so weak. And honestly, he'd lasted a lot longer than she'd thought he would.

Throwing the notebook aside she turned to face him on the couch. He offered up an innocent expression that quickly turned into a grin as she brought her lips closer to his. "I'm done. You can have you're way with me now," she whispered between teasing kisses.

He chuckled softly before deepening the kiss, thrusting his tongue into her mouth, mimicking the act he wanted to complete, over and over and over… Her body shifted, her back meeting the cushions as Tommy leaned over her. Hands sifted through hair before hastily retreating to pull at clothing.

"Three days," he kissed her neck as he unbuttoned her shirt. "of uninterrupted…" he nipped at the skin revealed with each unhooked button, "…sex." The word rushed out on a breath and then her hands were guiding his face to hers, their mouths meeting eagerly.

Two months as lovers had opened Jude's eyes to a world of pleasure beyond anything she'd ever imagined. All thanks to Tommy. He was so sweet and attentive and passionate. Dear god was he passionate. He always started off slowly but it never ended that way. They were usually a tangled, sweaty mass of limbs before it was through, each of them eager to please the other and find release.

"I wanted to do this in the limo," Jude admitted as she sucked in a deep breath between kisses. Her thighs parted to let Tommy settle more fully against her. 

"We did do this…" 

"No…I wanted to…" The words trailed off into a moan as his mouth found her nipple. She hadn't even realized her bra was gone, but she barely gave it a second thought as she enjoyed the way his tongue lapped at her, making her back arch with the sensation.

He looked up at her, eyes dark with arousal. "You wanted to have sex in the limo?" He was breathing hard and she wasn't sure if the look on his face meant that he liked the idea or what.

She nodded tentatively, biting her already swollen lower lip.

"You should have told me." He moved his head and his own teeth nipped at her lip before kissing her, thrusting his tongue back into her mouth. Her hips lifted from the couch, rubbing against him, feeling how hard he'd already become. 

"We can do it on the way back," she suggested, her fingers working at the button on his jeans, pulling down the zipper until she could put her hand inside. He hissed in approval as she found her destination, wrapping her warm hand around his cock. 

As she stroked the length of him, his hand moved from the breast he'd been teasing down to undo her pants and her free hand moved quickly to help. It was like this every time…the frantic need, the fumbling urgency to have him inside her, part of her, thrusting into her, making them one person for that brief, intimate moment. 

Sometimes she lost herself completely when it happened. All she could focus on was Tommy, moving in her, taking pleasure from her. She reveled in each moan, each sigh, knowing that she was making him feel good.

Working together they managed to get her pants past her hips until they were around her knees. Too impatient for more, Jude opened her thighs as wide as she could, guiding Tommy's erection to the place where she wanted to feel him. He didn't hesitate and quickly took over, taking the hand that was wrapped around his penis and moving it up above their head, twining their fingers together as he entered her with a smooth thrust. 

A whimper escaped as she felt him. He didn't pause, just kissed her as he pulled out and pushed back in, slowly at first. Almost agonizingly slow and she whimpered against his mouth, her hips bucking to urge him on. The movement was restricted. Her impatience to have him inside her had overridden the removal of her pants and so her legs were trapped. She wanted to wrap her legs around his hips, meet him thrust for thrust. Another moan escaped and Tommy's mouth moved lower, brushing over a nipple with an open, wet kiss.

"Faster…" Jude breathed out. She needed more friction, needed to feel him moving in and out, faster, rubbing harder. The restricted movement let him hit just the right spot and with each thrust she pushed back, needing more contact…needing more of him. Her hands broke free of his, raking down his back over the t-shirt she hadn't had the patience to remove until her fingers were digging into his sides. 

"Ohgodohgodoh…Tommy…don't stop."

His forehead rested at the juncture of her neck and shoulder, breath coming out in hot pants against her skin as his hips pistoned in and out, in and out…

She flew apart, a high keening cry escaping her lips as she clutched him closer, her inner muscles clamping down, clenching as Tommy continued to thrust several more times before his own loud grown vibrated against her neck and he came in warm spurts inside her.

For a moment all she could register was the spasms of her lower body as her orgasm faded and her head swam while she came down from her Tommy induced high. Soft kisses pressed against her collarbone and she managed to open her eyes and offer an exhausted smile to the man who had left her limp with satisfaction.

"I think we left a wet spot on the couch," Tommy said sheepishly, actually blushing as he spoke the words.

Jude's eyes got wide. "Oh my god." She started to sit up and could indeed feel the wet spot they'd just made and her own cheeks flushed. 

He started laughing and Jude smacked his chest, pushing him away from her. "It's not funny. This is not our couch. That nice, elderly couple downstairs would be mortified to know that we've just debauched their furniture."

Tommy was still laughing as Jude struggled to right herself, clearly mortified as she tried to pull up her jeans and simultaneously search for the shirt that had been thrown across the room. "I'm sure we're not the first couple to 'debauch' the sofa, Jude."

She glared at him. "I don't care and ew!" 

Now he was really laughing and he stood up, pants still unbuttoned and riding low on his hips as he moved towards her. Jude took a step back; arms crossed over her chest, her eyes straying to his- "Put that thing away. Seriously…" He only laughed and then did that thing that always made her a little breathless for some reason, when he took of his shirt with one motion, pulling it up and off by the collar before tossing it aside. 

"Jude…come on, we just had really hot…" he was right next to her, moving her arms away from her naked chest brushed against his naked chest, "…incredible…mind melting sex." He whispered the words against her ear, tickling the skin with his breath, nuzzling her with his nose.

She was panting again. Just a little. His lips caught hers before she could respond and the kiss was sweet and gentle and completely erotic and…she couldn't even remember what she'd gotten so flustered about.

"Come on," Tommy whispered, as he reached for her hand. "Let's go make a wet spot on the bed. I'm sure they're expecting that…" He was looking at her, smirking as he teased her and pulled her along toward the bedroom.

For a moment she glanced forlornly at the couch. "Shouldn't we clean that up first?"

"I'll buy it from them before we leave. They'll never have to know."

He didn't give her anymore time to protest as he scooped her up, carrying her into the bedroom to get her there more quickly. Jude realized that there were going to be a lot more 'wet spots' before the weekend was over. No sense worrying about the first of many.

YYYYYYYYY

"When is you tumin' home?" Noah's little voice asked through the phone. Tommy's heart did a mini-squeeze at the question.

"In a couple days buddy. Are you having fun with Uncle Kwest and Aunt Sadie?"

" 'Wissa won let me play wif her toys," he complained and Tommy chuckled.

"She won't? Did you ask nicely?"

"Yeah…" Noah's voice trailed off as he lost interest in the conversation. Tommy could hear Brady talking loudly in the background, probably trying to take the phone from Noah. There was muffled shuffling followed by crying and then Sadie was talking.

"Sorry about that," she quickly apologized.

"Are they being good?" he asked. He was more than thrilled to have this weekend away with Jude, but he worried about the boys. There were definitely rambunctious and they managed to get into everything and Sadie and Kwest were really only used to Marissa, who was actually pretty shy and well behaved. At least compared to Noah and Brady.

"They're fine. They're just being kids. Not a big deal. So don't worry," Sadie assured him. "How's the weekend getaway going?" 

Tommy laughed, knowing that Sadie was beyond curious. But he wasn't going to give. She'd wanted details but no one but he and Jude and the B and B owners knew where they were and he wanted to keep it that way. "It's good. Jude's already got a song written. She'll probably have ten more done by the time we get out of here."

"Clearly you're doing something wrong if she'd got time to write music, Tommy. In fact, what are you doing talking to me? Go. Seduce my sister…make more little Quincys."

He smirked. That didn't sound like such a bad idea. "If you insist, I will do my best." He gave her the B and B's number if she couldn't get through on his or Jude's cell phones and told her goodbye just as he felt Jude shifting next to him in the bed. She was lying on her stomach, face turned into the pillow.

Yeah, right. Like he was really going to give her anymore time to write music. The whole point of the weekend away was to get away from everything back in Toronto. They were off to a good start. It was past dinnertime and they'd spent most of the afternoon in bed and he intended to spend a lot more time there. 

"What are you doing your best?" Jude's sleepy voice asked and her head turned towards him. He put the phone on the nightstand next to the bed and scooted down so that his head was next to hers on the pillow.

"I told your sister that I'd do my best seduce you. Which I think I've gotten a pretty good start on. Of course, she also suggested that we make a little Quincy." He watched Jude's face closely for any sort of sign that she was open to or against that idea.

Her expression barely changed, but she was biting her lip and her eyes got kind of big. "We've never really talked about that," she told him.

And they hadn't. 

Reaching out, he pushed back a few strands of hair away from her face. "There are a lot of things we haven't talked about. I thought we could use this weekend to do that." He knew he sounded serious, but that's because the things he wanted to talk about with Jude _were _serious. 

She nodded and then touched her lips to his. "I could really use a bath," she told him. "Feel like joining me?"

She didn't have to ask him twice and less than twenty minutes later they were both settled into the Jacuzzi tub, her back to his front, his arms wrapped around her as she rested against him. The water was warm, soothing and for a while they enjoyed the silence and the ability to just _be_.

Tommy had never really been much for romantic gestures or at least, he hadn't before Jude. But there was just something about being with her that made him want to make everything special. Mostly because she was so special to him. Three years ago he'd had feelings for her that he'd fought against. Now he didn't have to fight anything, he could just enjoy what they'd found with each other. She was it for him. The real thing. Truthfully, what he felt for her now was so much more than he'd ever thought possible.

"What are you thinking?" Jude asked softly. Her fingers rubbed idly back and forth over the arms wrapped around her, drawing tiny circles on his forearms.

He dropped a soft kiss at the nape of her neck. "I'm thinking that…" he took a deep breath and the words tumbled out, raspy and sincere. The most important words he'd ever said and felt more deeply than he'd ever felt anything before. "…I love you."

There was silence and then an "I love you too," filled the air. Jude shifted in his arms sloshing bath water everywhere as she straddled his lap, her hands moving to wrap around his neck as she brought her lips to his, kissing him deeply. As they pulled back, he rested his forehead against hers.

"I want you to move in with us…permanently," he told her. 

She nodded. 

"And I definitely want to marry you and 'make more little Quincys' as Sadie would say." He rushed the next words out, not wanting to scare her. "But I understand if it's too soon for that. We've only been together for a couple of months and you're already getting saddled with two kids and…"

She put a finger to his lips to silence him. "First, I would never say that I'm being 'saddled' with Noah and Brady. You know how much I love them so don't think, for one second, that I'd ever think of them as anything but a blessing."

Those words meant so much and he felt his eyes start to sting. Jude must have noticed and she leaned forward to kiss him again. "Second," she whispered, "If that's a proposal, the answer is yes. Yes, so many times over…" her voice caught and his lips found hers, kissing her, tasting the salt from the tears that had crept down her cheeks. His hands cupped her face. 

"I don't have a ring…"

"I don't care," she shook her head, the smile on her lips tugged at his heart strings, the song they played so joyful he wanted to burst. Her fingers wove into his hair, playing absently with the ends. "And…and…." She took a deep breath. "I know it hasn't been long, but I'd love nothing more than to have your baby. Our baby."

Tommy was fairly certain this level of happiness might kill him. He didn't have words to express it, so he did the next best thing and kissed her, putting everything he felt into it and getting the same from Jude in return.

It didn't take much for the kiss to become more, and while the urgency in their lovemaking had dissipated, it was still intense and incredible. 

He was still basking in the afterglow, holding a boneless Jude, when he felt her start to shake. Her head lifted from his shoulder and she was laughing.

Tommy frowned. "What's so funny?"

"I was just thinking…" she giggled. "that at least we didn't have to worry about a wet spot this time." 

YYYYYYYYY

"Aunt Sadie gots mad and put me in time out," Brady told Jude. He'd just been handed the phone and it was the first thing he said.

Jude covered her laugh. "She did? Well what did you do?"

There was a big sigh followed by "I didn do it on puwpose. Rissa was in da way, Mommy. She was suppose ta move." He got the rest of the story out, explaining that he hadn't meant to hit Marissa with the 'bad guy' he'd thrown, directly at her face. Jude explained that he was naughty and that he deserved the time out. 

"Is you comin' home soon?" he asked.

"On Monday," she told him. After saying goodbye and telling him she loved him, she handed the phone off to Tommy who was also regaled with the time out story. It was Saturday morning and they were still lounging in bed. Jude was wearing Tommy's shirt from the day before. Their discard breakfast dishes were sitting on a tray, ready to be returned and now they had to decide what to do the rest of the day.

Mrs. Peterson, the B and B's owner had brought their breakfast up that morning. Tommy had been taking a shower and Jude had a quick chat with the woman to find out about things they might be able to do around the area. There were a couple of antique stores and a café. Of course there was a bar that seemed to be a local favorite. 

"So…what's the plan?" Tommy asked when he got off the phone.

Jude shrugged and snuggled up against him. "We could go check out the town…"

"You really want to go look at antiques? I didn't think either one of us was particularly into that." His fingers ran through her hair, combing the strands idly.

Jude sighed. "You're right. Usually the boys keep us entertained. So I'm kind of at a loss."

"You're right. I guess I could help you work on another song."

"No. This is our vacation. I don't want to work on anything else," she told him. Which was true. She was perfectly happy to focus all her attention on being with him.

"We could plan our wedding," he suggested with a teasing smile.

Jude's head shot up and she looked at him. "You want to plan our wedding?"

Tommy shrugged. "Why not? It could be fun. Didn't Mrs. Peterson say there's a bookstore in town? You could go get some of those bridal magazines and we could look through those or something."

Jude laughed. She was secretly thrilled that Tommy would put himself through that for her, but "Eh…I was just thinking we'd elope. You know, less mess with the press and stuff."

"Really? You don't want a big to-do?" 

She could tell that surprised him. But she honestly wasn't set on a big wedding. She'd seen the tabloid photos of his wedding to Angie and didn't want anything like it. It had been a production, orchestrated for the press, who had made a big deal out of Tommy settling down. Of course they'd also covered the story of Portia Mills' heartbreak watching her ex-husband marry another woman. It had been a mess.

"I just want it to be special. The only people I want there are the boys and Sadie and Kwest. I don't care about anyone else," Jude explained.

"I think I like the way you think, soon-to-be Mrs. Quincy." He teased her with a kiss and she smiled against his lips

"Thank you. Now how's about we go to a movie instead. Mrs. Peterson said they have a small movie theater and they're playing an actual rated R movie there this week." She raised her eyebrows up and down suggestively. "Can you believe it, Quincy? A movie that doesn't involve animation. Could such a thing possibly be entertaining?"

They continued to laugh and tease and enjoy just being together for the rest of the morning until they embarked on their little journey into town. The Petersons lent the couple a vehicle and Tommy drove in and parked at the café. They were going to have lunch, check out the local shopping and then go to the movie. It was all very tame, but neither one of them cared, both just content to spend the time together. They held hands as they walked around. A few of the locals recognized them and they gave out a few autographs. After the movie, they ended up at the bar to eat dinner. 

To Jude's delight, it was Karaoke night, which was more than mildly entertaining. They cheered and clapped with everyone and even took their turns at the mic. Tommy surprised everyone when he did the old Boyz Attack routine and forced Jude to join him and help with the dance. Their little audience was laughing and helping them out, singing along at the chorus. Tommy surprised Jude when he grabbed her and spun her into a dip as the song finished. The entire audience cheered when he kissed her soundly and Jude felt herself blushing at the attention.

Their drinks that night were on the house, at least Tommy's were. Jude stuck with water and by the end of the night she was helping her very tipsy, very frisky fiancé out to their borrowed car. 

He fell asleep in the passenger seat as she drove. Keeping her attention on the road, she snuck an occasional glance at him; almost not believing any of this was real. It was all too good to be true. Tommy loved her, wanted to marry her, wanted to have more babies with her. It was like her wildest dream, only it wasn't a dream and she was just…euphoric wasn't even a good enough word for the way she was feeling.

He was snoring by the time she got him settled into the big bed and she laughed, thinking that she was going to be happy listening to his snores for the rest of her life.

YYYYYYYYYY

The next morning Tommy found Jude eating breakfast with the Petersons in their dining room. He'd woken in an empty bed, Jude nowhere in sight. He would have gone to look for her, but decided that a shower and some aspirin for his headache might be a good first step.

The Petersons greeted Tommy warmly and then Jude offered him a quick kiss as he settled into the chair next to him. She was done eating, but sat there, listening to the conversation as Tommy ate the breakfast Mrs. Peterson brought out for him and Mr. Peterson talked about their little B and B business. 

When the older couple left to take care of their empty breakfast plates, Jude turned to Tommy and gave him a real kiss. 

"How do you feel?" she asked, amusement in her eyes.

"Eh, not too shabby. Sorry I drank so much."

"Don't be sorry. It was kind of cute. You have the most adorable drunken snore," she kissed his nose affectionately.

Tommy sighed. "You should be mad at me," he told her. 

"Why would I be mad? We went out, had a good time. Not really anything to be upset about."

He leaned forward and kissed her again. "This is why I love you, because you are way more understanding than you should be."

"Ah, well, remember that the next time I get irrational about something. Like for example the fact that it's been entirely too long since we've…." Her words trailed off as she looked around to make sure the Petersons weren't nearby, and instead wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. "I think you promised a whole weekend of hot sex," she whispered, " and you're a little behind on that. You'll have to make up for last night."

They barely made it to their rooms and he ended up taking her against the door as soon as they managed to close it. It was fast and hot and completely exhausting and they ended up sprawled out on the floor trying to regain their breath.

Hours and another round of sex later, they were finishing a joint shower when the phone rang. Jude left to go grab it and came back into the bathroom. Tommy was shaving, wanting to make sure he didn't leave any more beard burn on Jude's skin. There were a couple of spots on her thighs that were a fond reminder of the act that had put them there, but he wasn't sure she'd appreciate any more. 

He was mid stroke with his razor when he saw her biting her lip, frowning.

"I'll talk to Tommy and call you back," she said into the phone and hung up. He could see the worry in her eyes and immediately got concerned.

"That was Sadie," she explained. "Noah's got a little bit of a fever. She said he's been crying and keeps asking for us. Can we go home? I'm sure it's not a big deal, but…"

He pulled her against him, kissing her forehead. "I'll see if we can get a ride with someone…"

"Thank you." Her kiss left her face smeared with some of his shaving cream and he laughed as he helped her wipe it off. 

An hour later, Mr. Peterson was driving them back to Toronto, more than willing to help the couple out. Tommy could tell Jude was getting anxious to get back to the boys and his heart warmed at the thought. He was really lucky to have her in his and the boys' life, loving them so much.

When they got to Sadie and Kwest's house, Tommy offered up a thank you and when Mr. Peterson wouldn't take any money for driving them, he promised to mention the Bed and Breakfast in his and Jude's engagement story when it finally went public. 

Jude was already inside, cuddling Noah in her lap when Tommy made it inside. Brady immediately jumped on him.

"Dadd-eeeee!" The little boy squealed as he flew into Tommy's arms for a hug.

"Hey Pal."

Jude looked up from Noah, whose head was resting against her chest. 

"He's doing better," Sadie told them. "Just a slight fever. He's been sniffling a little, so I'm thinking it's just a cold. I gave him some of the children's Tylenol that I give Marissa when she's sick."

Jude nodded. "Yeah, you're probably right. I think we've got some of that at home." She looked over at Brady and smiled. "Are you ready to go home?"

Braden was perfectly content sitting on his father's lap. "Yes. Aunt Sadie keeps giving me time outs."

Both Tommy and Jude laughed at Sadie's exasperated look. "I didn't know what else to do," she told them. "Every time I turned around someone was crying and toys were flying…" she shrugged and rubbed her baby belly. "I guess I'm just mean Aunt Sadie." She glared at Kwest who entered the room then, carrying Marissa.

"Hey…we agreed that you'd be in charge of discipline and I'd be the good parent," Kwest teased his wife. He was rewarded with an eye roll and had to duck the pillow that was thrown at his head.

Marissa and Brady laughed. Noah was quiet and Jude looked at Tommy. "We should probably go," she suggested.

They got the boys ready and Kwest handed over the Escalade's keys, having borrowed it to have enough room and car seats if they needed to go out over the weekend. Noah fell asleep as soon as he was in the car seat and Brady talked the whole drive home, telling them in great detail, some of it probably made up, everything that happened while they were gone.

"The baby kicked in Aunt Sadie's tummy," he told them. "An she let me feel it."

"She did, huh? What did it feel like?" Jude asked, turning in the seat to look at him.

"It was funny. It tickled my hand and made Noah laugh."

"What if I had a baby in my tummy?" 

Jude's question surprised Tommy and he quickly glanced at her from the side, noting her happy expression as she waited for Brady's answer. 

"Yeah, Brady, would you want a new little brother or sister?" He looked into the rear view mirror to wait for his son's answer.

"Like Rissa's gonna haf?" he asked.

"Yep. Like that."

"I don wanna share my toys."

Jude laughed and then looked over at Tommy. "It's gonna piss Darius off if I get pregnant and can't tour."

"Do you really care if it pisses Darius off?" He looked over at her and smiled. Jude smiled back and shrugged.

"Nope. He was the one that insisted on the album. I don't really care if it ruins his plans. Our plans are more important," she said cheerfully. "And I don't think we should tell him about the wedding until we're already married, either. He'll make it into some kind of circus and I don't want that."

"Agreed." 

Tommy was pulling up to the house while Jude explained what 'pissed' was to Brady when he noticed the dark sedan parked down by the mailbox. Jude had told him in was paparazzi and he wandered if the idiot had been sitting there all weekend waiting for his photo. He realized that they were probably going to have to move once he and Jude got married. That would start some kind of media frenzy, worse than it already was and if he wanted to keep his family safe, they'd have to find a more secure neighborhood.

Tommy helped Brady from his car seat and grabbed their bags from the weekend while Jude got a still sleeping Noah and settled him into her arms.

The front door wasn't locked when he went to put the key into the lock. A frown crossed his features and he briefly wondered if he shouldn't tell Jude to go back to the car and wait while he checked things out. He opened the door and walked in, holding Brady's hand and keeping the little boy behind him. With everything that had happened, the door had probably just been left unlocked. 

He believed it until he heard noises coming from the kitchen. Before he could go investigate a figure appeared and Tommy dropped the bags he'd been holding.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he yelled, startled and unable to stop the words.

Angie smiled at him, holding a bowl of cereal in her hands. "I would think that would be obvious."

Tommy growled. "You're trespassing. Get out."

"Now is that anyway to talk to your wife?" She pouted.

A gasp came from behind them and Tommy turned to see Jude standing there, holding Noah, her face white as she caught sight of Angie.

Her voice was shaky as she looked back and forth between Tommy and Angie. "What's going on?"

Tommy looked at Angie, eyes narrowed. "That's what I'd like to know."

TBC


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Tommy's request that Angie leave fell on deaf ears. Instead, the unwelcome guest stepped forward, bending at the waist with her hands pressed to her knees to make herself eye-level with Brady.

"Who are you?" Brady asked. He eyed her curiously as he stood next to Tommy, his fingers clutching onto his daddy's jeans.

Angie smiled, dimples appearing. "I'm your mommy."

Tommy heard Jude's sharp intake of breath and his first instinct was to reassure her, but he wasn't about to let go of Brady until Angie was out of the house.

"Nuh uh," Brady shook his head, refuting the strange woman's claim as only a child could. "Your not da mommy. I gots a mommy." He spoke with certainty and looked back at Jude, pointing to her. "Dat is my mommy. See."

Tommy would have smiled at his words if he hadn't noticed Angie's eyes darken. She straightened and took a step back, lips thinning as her smiled became forced and angry. "Is that right? Well…"

With a jerk of his head, Tommy glared, hoping she'd understand to keep her mouth shut. He knelt down next to Brady. "Why don't you go play in your room while I talk to Angie, okay?"

Brady nodded his agreement and walked over to Jude. He took her free hand and pulled on it. "Is Noah still sleepin'?"

Jude swallowed, glancing from Braden to Tommy. "Yeah. Why don't you help me put him in his bed and then we can go watch a movie in daddy and my bedroom." She said the words softly, directing them at Brady, but Angie's suddenly stiff posture was a sure indicator that she'd heard and Tommy fought the urge to smirk. The words were a subtle dig, even if Jude hadn't meant them to be. They were also a bit of reassurance for Tommy, letting him know that Angie's sudden appearance hadn't completely undermined all the promises and plans he and Jude had made together.

As soon as Jude and Brady were making their way down the hallway, Tommy turned back to Angie.

At first glance, he might have thought that she hadn't really changed. But he could see the hardness that edged her features. She looked less angelic, less fragile than the twenty year old he had pursued so single-mindedly. A small part of him wondered if maybe that hardness hadn't been there all along and he'd just been too self-absorbed to see it. He didn't hate her, but he knew in his gut that the feelings he'd once had for her had never been love. Not the kind that lasted.  
"So are you just going pawn them off as her kids now?" she sneered, arms crossed over chest. There were sparks in her eyes but Tommy wasn't about to start a fight. Not in his home, with his kids and Jude down the hall.

As calmly as possible, he spoke. "It's not easy to explain to a four year old that his real mother was a drug addict and wanted money more than she wanted to see him. I did the best I could. And Jude loves them. They feel that and even though they aren't connected by blood, she's their mother." The words, while they weren't angry, hit their intended target and Angie winced.

"It's not like you gave me much of a choice," her voice rose, petulant like a child's.

He shook his head. "I shouldn't have had to make you choose. You just didn't care." He paused. "I saw you…two days out of the hospital after Noah was born and you did a line of coke in the bathroom. You were more worried about your next fix than you were about the boys." She probably didn't even remember. But he did. The image of her using the bathroom countertop where Tommy help Brady wash his hands, as a place to snort drugs, was fixed in his brain. It had taken that moment for him to realize that he'd been fighting a losing battle. She was a drug addict and nothing else mattered to her. Not her kids, not him, just the life that was available to her as his wife. He had called a lawyer the next day and spent the next three months keeping a careful eye on her while he worked out the details for what would happen next. He took over all responsibility for the boys, wouldn't even let her feed Noah a bottle.

Tommy would have left sooner, but he'd wanted it all to be legal. He'd petitioned for full custody and the lawyer drew up a divorce settlement that ended up being a large payoff to keep her out of their lives. Any hope he'd had that she might turn things around was destroyed when she actually signed the papers. The money had been too much of a lure and she'd agreed to the terms. The ink was barely dry before Tommy took the boys and moved them to New York where he was able to work and stay relatively anonymous.

"Why are you here?" he asked warily.

"I want my kids back."

He laughed, disbelief shadowing his features. "Is this a joke?"

She shook her head, her expression earnest and pleading. "I'm sober, Tommy. I have been for three months. And all I've been able to think about it seeing the boys and getting to know them."

Three months? She honestly thought three months of sobriety meant she could now be a mother?

"No," he told her. "They don't know you and I don't trust you. The divorce settlement was more than clear. You got three million dollars and all you had to do was stay away from us."

"That's not fair, Tom. They're my kids."

"It's awfully convenient that you feel that way now. Those kids weren't enticement enough for you to clean up your act three years ago." He was starting to lose his cool, but curbed the rush of anger as soon as it bubbled up.

Angie's anger wasn't as easily concealed. "Fine! Do you want me to apologize? Cause I will. I fucked up. I was fucked up. I didn't know up from down. But you abandoned me and you stole my children."

"I have signed papers that say otherwise." His voice was hard, not about to bend under the pressure of false accusations and fake tears.

"I can fight this," she threatened. "And I'm going to. Darius agreed to help me."

That gave Tommy a moment's pause, but he didn't actually believe it. There was no way Darius would help Angie. The man hated her. There was no way he'd actually help her take away his kids, especially not when he knew just how much Brady and Noah meant to Jude. If Darius had to pick sides, even if he didn't care about Tommy, he wouldn't do anything to hurt Jude. "If you say so. But until that day comes, you need to leave. You're not welcome in my home."

He turned to walk toward the front door and show her out, but she moved too quickly for him to react and then she was touching him, clutching his shirt in her hands. "We could be a family again. Don't you want that?" There was desperation in her eyes and, carefully, he tried to remove her hands, not wanting her to touch him.

"I already have a family, with Jude and Brady and Noah. Even if you'd gotten sober three years ago, it never would have worked. We weren't good together."

"We were," she insisted. "We were fine until you met her," she spat out the words. "We were on fire. Do you remember what it used to be like between us? You couldn't get enough of me and we fucked everywhere and you used to tell me that I was the one for you and…" she pushed closer, words cut off as she sealed her lips to his.

For an instant Tommy was so startled by her aggression and desperation that he didn't move. Then he pushed her away, more forcefully, not wanting her near him. "I didn't love you. I loved the idea of you, just like you loved the idea of me. We were drunk _kids_," he emphasized the word. "If we had taken the time to get to know each other…we would have realized that we wanted different things."

Her eyes flashed, anger radiating from the lines on her face. "We were fine until Jude came along. And then suddenly it was like you became a completely different person."

"I grew up!" he yelled, unable to hold it in. "I grew up and I realized that there could be more to life than meaningless parties and hookups."

"No. What you realized was that you wanted someone you couldn't have and the thrill of that made what was standing in front of you, already yours, pale in comparison. You made me what I am! You turned your back on me to pursue her and this is the result."

He shook his head. "That's bullshit! You made your own choices. I begged you, pleaded with you. Hell, I moved to another country to make things work with you."

"You didn't want it to work," she hissed.

He couldn't respond. She was right. He hadn't wanted it to work, not at the end. In the end he'd wanted to be as far away from the woman in front of him as possible. His silence now said more than he could have.

Angie's mouth opened and shut, her eyes narrowed. "Noah might not be yours," she blurted out.

Her words hit him, like a sharp slap, only worse. His gut clenched and he recoiled as their implication sank in.

Seeing that she'd gotten to him, Angie went on. "That night, in the hotel after Jude's little birthday part, you called her name when you were with me." The anger in her voice had a sharp edge, intending to cut. "I wanted to get back at you. I never hated you more than I did that night."

He finally found his voice. "You must have hated me way before that," he managed bitterly. "I know damn well you were with plenty of other men before that night. I'm not stupid."

She had the nerve to laugh. "Not stupid. Just blind and eventually indifferent. That's what pissed me off the most, the indifference." She paused and smirked. It seemed that the repentant ex-wife act had run its course and she was embracing her role as the nasty bitch he remembered. "I have to say, that I did enjoy the fact that Jude knew all about my little indiscretions, and in her naïve efforts to protect you, she kept her mouth shut."

"Don't bring her into this."

"Why not? She's part of the problem. She has been for a long time. But you were too besotted to notice. Keep in mind, she lied to you. Hell, she even caught me red-handed and turned around and didn't even bother telling you."

"You think you can say that and make me turn on Jude? Nothing you would ever tell me would make that happen. Nothing. If she lied it was because you forced her to. What'd you do? Blackmail her?"

The haughty smirk on Angie's face was answer enough and Tommy had reached his limit. "Get out."

"This isn't over. We have to talk…"

"I'm not talking to you anymore unless it's through my lawyers."

"What about Noah? What about that?"

"I don't care what you say. He's my son. Now, GET. OUT."

She stared at him like she was going to argue, but changed her mind. With jerky movements she grabbed her purse and walked toward the front door, slamming it behind her as she left.

Tommy sank down onto the sofa, head buried in his shaking hands. He'd never in a million years imagined this confrontation. He'd honestly believed he'd never hear from her again. He took a deep breath and tried to wrap his mind around what she'd said. Was she lying about Noah? He'd never questioned it, not once. Noah was his son. That was it. _He_ was the first one to hold him when he'd been born. _He_ had gotten up nights with him, fed him, bathed him, and rocked him to sleep. That little boy didn't belong to anyone else.

He took a few moments to get himself together and then got up to check on Noah and find Jude and Brady.

Noah was sleeping, his face less flushed than earlier. Angie's angry words echoed in his brain and Tommy couldn't seem to drag his gaze from the sleeping little boy. It didn't seem possible that she could be right. He stayed in the doorway, watching Noah sleep peacefully until the sound of the TV coming from his bedroom finally penetrated; reminding him that Jude was probably sitting with Brady, wondering what the hell was going on. Tommy made his way down the hall to his bedroom. The door was open, just a crack, but the TV was up louder than normal and when Tommy pushed into the room, he was surprised that it was only Brady on the bed.

"Hey, buddy," Tommy sat down next to him. "Where's mommy?"

Brady looked at his father, eyes droopy, ready to take his own nap. "She went ta ged some more medcine for Noah."

He dropped a kiss on the little boy's forehead and left him to go find Jude. He hadn't seen her go past him so he knew she couldn't be in the kitchen and she wasn't in the bathroom…

His eyes snagged on a bottle on the bathroom counter. It was an almost empty bottle of children's Tylenol.

Ten minutes later, cell phone in hand, he was listening to her voice mail message and then telling her to call him back. The Mustang was gone and he really wanted to believe that she'd just gone to get more Tylenol, but he had a sinking suspicion that wasn't the case.

An hour went by and she still hadn't come home. Both boys were sleeping and Tommy was pacing the living room, angrily dialing Jude's number. She wasn't answering her phone. Why wasn't she answering her phone?

He didn't know what to think. Going to the store shouldn't have taken so long and if Noah needed the medicine, the only thing that would have kept her from getting it home was if there were an accident and that…his stomach rolled, nausea forcing him to sit down. What if something had happened? He wouldn't…couldn't even think about it…

He called again, fingers turning white as he gripped the phone and willed her to pick up…he just needed her to pick up.

"Tommy?" A female voice whispered through the line.

"Jude? Jude, where are you? Are you okay?"

"This isn't Jude, Tommy. This is Sadie." She was still whispering and his heart started to thud. Why did Sadie have Jude's phone? Something had happened, there was no other-

"Jude's here. She's asleep on the couch. She uh…well, she showed up here about an hour ago."

"What's she doing at your place? I've been calling and I thought she went to get medicine for Noah. What the hell is going on?" He couldn't hide the worry that had held him captive for the last hour or so and now that he knew she was safe, he was a little bit angry with her for running off. Clearly, Angie's appearance had done what he'd been afraid it would do. It had scared her off.

"She saw you kissing Angie. She's been…well, she's been crying since she got here, talking about how there was no reason to get married and saying that you should try to be a family with the boys' real mother." Sadie sounded upset and he scraped a hand over his eyes, sucking in a deep breath as he took in her words.

"I didn't kiss her. She kissed me and I pushed her away."

"Well, Jude didn't see that part and, it's probably no secret, but Jude's always been wary of Angie."

"I know Angie wasn't nice to her and…"

"That's a bit of an understatement. Your ex threatened to ruin Jude's career right alongside yours. And then look what happened…you left Jude high and dry and it took years for her to get back to where things were finally going well, only for Angie to come back and cause problems."

"I can't do anything about that. I didn't bring Angie back. I don't want anything to do with her. But I can't ignore that she exists. She's the boys' mother. But I'm never going to go back to her. I'm with Jude. I love Jude." He was adamant, maybe even a little desperate as he spoke, needing Sadie to understand that nothing about Angie's return with going to change the way he felt about Jude.

"Look, like I said, she's sleeping. I don't know what's going to happen when she wakes up. But just…give her a little space," Sadie's suggestion was met with silence.

He didn't want to give Jude space. He needed to talk to her. He just plain needed her. After the revelation Angie had tossed in his face, he needed her support and understanding.

"Just tell her that I love her and to call me," he finally said. "I…want her to come home."

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Jude slept fitfully on Sadie's couch, her mind whirring with too many thoughts to even be partially restful. She wasn't sure how to process everything that had just happened. Not even eight hours earlier he'd been making love to her, promising so many things for their future. A baby. They'd talked about having a baby together and instead of being able to cherish all of that she had to see him kissing his ex-wife. An ex-wife who clearly no longer wanted the 'ex' part to be true. An ex-wife who had actual biological ties to the children that Jude wanted for her own.

How was it possible to be so happy one minute and then for your world to crumble the next?

No longer able to sleep, Jude got up from the couch and made her way into the kitchen. It was late, Sadie and Kwest had gone to bed awhile before and the house was dark. As quietly as possible, she went through the motions of getting herself something to drink. Tea usually made her feel better, was in some small way, comforting. But as she sat at the kitchen table, darkness around her, she didn't feel the least bit comfortable. Every part of her ached. Not just physically, although she'd done her fair share of crying and had the puffy eyes to prove it. But it was like her soul ached for everything that had been held out in front of her and then snatched back in a split second.

Her thoughts weren't just for Tommy. There was a deep hurt over the boys as well. Part of her felt guilty for leaving the way she had. Noah was sick and she'd gotten him and Brady settled, all the while telling herself that she didn't need to worry about what was happening between Tommy and Angie. He'd take care of it and then it would all be fine. She'd honestly let herself believe that. So when she'd gone to tell Tommy that they needed to get some more Tylenol for Noah, she hadn't been prepared for the sight that greeted her. Angie pressed up against Tommy, their lips sealed together. The sight strangely familiar, a flash back to years before.

It had been too much. Jude wasn't even sure how she'd functioned after seeing it, but she had a vague recollection of turning the other way, going to Brady and kissing him goodbye before doing the same with Noah. Then she was crying in Sadie's driveway, unsure of what she was going to do next. Tommy started calling shortly after she reached Sadie's but she didn't answer or listen to any of the messages, not wanting to even hear his voice. Now all she could do was stare at the phone, trying to decide what to do next.

"Jude…if nothing else he needs to know you're okay," Sadie's voice filtered through the silent room. Jude didn't turn around but felt the moment her sister slid into the chair next to hers. Her eyes didn't move from the phone clenched in her hand.

"If he calls again, you can tell him I'm fine," she said flatly, voice raspy from the tears she'd cried.

"I already did. But he's still going crazy. He said he kicked Angie out, that she kissed him but he pushed her away and made her leave."

Jude shook her head. "That's convenient."

Sadie's hand covered Jude's. "I know you don't want to believe him, but…he loves you. And I think…well, I think there's something else wrong. He sounded pretty broken up. He needs you at home."

"I can't." Jude's voice trembled. The idea of going back, she couldn't. She'd walk in the door and the first thing she'd think of is them kissing and…

Sadie was silent for a minute. The only noise was that of her fingers tapping lightly against the wood of the table. Finally she turned to Jude. "As your sister, what I'm about to tell you is said with as much love as possible, but…you're being selfish."

Jude's mouth dropped open. "What?"

"You heard me. You're being selfish. You are in an adult relationship, one that you wholeheartedly entered, not knowing what would happen and not worrying about it. And part of that relationship involves you being a mother to two boys, whose real mother was a slutty bitch. You don't get to stop being their mom just because you are mad at Tommy. This isn't playing house, Jude. It's real life. If you walk away like this, you're no better than Dad."

"That's not fair. Dad just left us because he didn't love mom anymore. I still love Tommy." Jude's voice shook defensively.

"Then why aren't you fighting for him? For your family? I know you're young, but you've always been more mature than anyone else your age. That's why I never had a moments' pause about your relationship with Tommy. Don't regress now. This thing you have with him isn't some teenage crush that's going to go away. He _loves_ you. He loved you even when he wasn't supposed to."

Sadie's words shook Jude to her core. "So do I just pretend it didn't happen?" she asked hoarsely, tears pooling in her eyes.

"No. But you can listen to him; give him a chance to explain."

They sat in silence then, Sadie lending her support just by being there. Jude contemplated her sister's advice, torn between the way she felt, the way it had hurt to see Tommy and Angie together. The sight was ten times more painful than it had ever been when she was younger. And then there were the boys. They called _her_ mommy. Brady had told Angie that, had insisted that he already had a mommy and Tommy had done nothing to correct him. He hadn't even explained who Angie was to Brady.

But seeing them kissing… It had been like she was seventeen again, watching Angie have the one thing she wanted, knowing that she only got to borrow Tommy for awhile, that she wasn't really part of his life.

Sadie was right though. She wasn't seventeen anymore. She and Tommy were in a relationship and she needed to be an adult and face this, not run away.

YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

The bed felt cold and empty without her. All he could do was lay there, staring at the ceiling, wondering what the hell was going to happen. He went back and forth between worrying about Jude and thinking about Noah and what Angie had said to him, what she'd just casually thrown in his face, like it wasn't a big deal.

Noah might not be his.

Tommy rolled over onto his side. The bright red digital numbers of the alarm clocked blurred and he rubbed his eyes. He told himself that the moisture there was from lack of sleep. He wasn't getting emotional…

He needed Jude. If he could just see her, talk to her…but she hadn't come home. Instead she was at Sadie's, avoiding him because she'd seen a kiss. A kiss that hadn't been mutual, that had in fact made him sick to his stomach from the violation of it.

Frustrated, Tommy let out a groan. It was after midnight and he wasn't going to sleep. He wouldn't be able to, not after everything that had happened and especially not without Jude next to him.

As the digital numbers on the clock came into focus, so did Tommy's thoughts. He needed Jude and he knew where she was, so if she wasn't going to come home to him, he was going to her.

He quickly pulled himself out of bed and threw on the first thing he could find before hurrying down the hall to the boys' room. He scooped Noah into his arms and then leaned down over Braden, nudging him awake.

"We have to go see Mommy," he explained softly, not sure either one of the boys would understand why he was waking them get up in the middle of the night. He wasn't sure he even understood, but for some reason it seemed important that they do this. Tommy hadn't been the only one suffering in Jude's absence. The boys had asked after her constantly. Noah begged for her, crying when she wasn't there to sing their goodnight song. They needed to see her and he was hoping that maybe, just maybe, seeing them would help Jude, would convince her not to just give up.

Braden woke up grumpily, but offered a sleepy smile when Tommy mentioned Jude again. He was awake enough to put on his own coat while Tommy helped Noah and even grabbed his backpack from the kitchen before they went out to the car.

The drive to Kwest and Sadie's house was tense. He wasn't sure how he'd be received, but he wasn't about to turn around and go back home. He was determined to fix this, to make it right.

Noah was still sleeping and Braden was drifting off again as Tommy finally pulled into the driveway. It took him a moment to get the boys out of the car and then onto the front porch steps. Tommy gripped Brady's free hand while he held Noah against his chest with the other. He was about to knock when the front door opened, revealing a robe clad Sadie.

"I saw you pull up." She paused and gestured them inside, whispering, "She's in the living room." That said, Sadie left Tommy and headed down the hallway back toward her bedroom.

The floor creaked as they walked through the living room archway and Jude's eyes snapped open. She instinctively reached out and flicked on the table lamp next to the couch, surprise flashing in her eyes as she took in the sight of him, arms loaded down with sleepy children.

Her expression softened as she looked at the boys and he knew that she'd missed them. Tommy didn't say anything, he just stood there, holding Noah while he stared at her and wondered where to start. Braden pushed away from Tommy almost immediately to go to Jude.

He bounded over to the couch where she was sitting and jumped into her lap. Jude wrapped her arms around Brady, hugging him, her nose buried in his hair. "I missed you," she told him softly.

Brady looked up at her. "Waz wrong?" he asked solemnly.

Jude shook her head, sniffling slightly as she let her fingers brush back the hair on Brady's forehead. "I'm just a little sad." The admission took Tommy by surprise, but before he could speak up, Brady did.

"Was I bad? I won be bad no more," he told her, making the promise earnestly.

Tommy's throat tightened with emotion and he had to look away for a moment.

"No, you weren't bad. I just had to take care of something, that's all," she told him softly. Her voice quivered slightly and she wiped at her eyes and leaned forward to press a kiss to his temple. "I can't believe your daddy woke you up like this." Her voice sounded strained, taking on an oddly cheerful note to reassure Brady. She looked up at Tommy disapprovingly though, and for the first time in hours he felt like maybe he could breathe again. She was there, right in front of him, chastising him.

He shrugged, ignoring the disapproval in her eyes. "They needed to see you."

Jude's gaze wandered to Noah, who was still snoring in Tommy's arms and she raised an eyebrow in half-amused disbelief.

"He had a rough night. Cried himself to sleep."

She looked away from him and down at Braden, who was dragging his backpack off the floor and on to the couch. "I bwought my cars to play wif, Mommy," he told her, already pulling out everything that had been shoved into the bag.

Tommy laid Noah down on the other end of the couch and watched from the corner of his eye as she talked with Brady. Once Brady was occupied playing, Jude stood up. She turned to face Tommy and shoved her hands in the back pockets of her faded jeans.

He watched her carefully, taking in the sight of her. She looked a little ragged, her eyes puffy and red, dark circles lining them underneath.

"I'm so fucking mad at you right now." The words escaped his lips before he could pull them back. But it was like now that he knew she was okay, feelings that he'd been pushing aside were coming to the surface.

Jude's eyes widened in shock. "What?"

"Daddy said fuckin," Brady yelled from the couch.

Tommy realized that he hadn't been this upset in a long time. "Brady, cover your ears," he ordered and watched from his peripheral vision as his son complied.

"How the hell could you just take off like that?" he spat out angrily.

Jude's eyes narrowed and he could see her temper flaring. "You tell me, Tommy, you've done it plenty of times before."

"What if something had happened to you?" he yelled. "Do you know how that would have made me feel? I fucking love you and you just take off. I didn't even know what had happened. I kept imagining you in a ditch because the last I heard, from Brady no less, was that you went to get medicine. I know you might hate me right now, but you don't get to walk away from this family. I won't let you. I love you too much and we…we _need_ you." His voice broke as he spoke, emotion leaking out. The anger was the least of what he was feeling though. He was also scared…scared that she was actually going to walk away.

"What did you expect me to do?" she asked hoarsely. "Walk in on you two kissing and just be fine with it?"

"No. I expected you to at least ask what the hell was going on. To get angry. To try and …oh hell…I don't know. I just…she pushed herself on me. But I pushed her away. I pushed her away and I made her leave. I don't want her in my life, in _our_ life."

Jude looked away and down at Brady, who was playing quietly while Noah slept on. "I've never been good at dealing with Angie," she admitted weakly.

"That's what my whole marriage to her was like. I didn't ever know how to handle her and eventually I just got tired of trying." It wasn't something he was proud of, but it was the truth and if he and Jude needed anything just then, it was complete honesty between them. "I don't love her. I don't care if she gave birth to the boys, she's not their mother. She's not the one I want to be a part of their lives. _You_ are." He paused and took a deep breath. "But if you can't be that person…if you can't fight to be with us, then…" his voice shook. "Maybe this won't work. Because I _need_ you. I need you more than I've ever needed anyone and you have to stay, you have to stay and fight with me because I can't do this by myself." The emotion that Tommy held at bay, the frustration and confusion and anger that had been bubbling underneath the surface broke loose and he knew he was breaking down, but no longer cared.

Jude's arms went around him and his head burrowed into her shoulder as his body was wracked with the pain of what he'd learned that day. Her fingers fisted in his hair, holding him tightly and she tried to soothe him, her own tears falling on his neck to match his as they dampened her shirt. He held onto her, arms around her waist, gripping her, unwilling to let her go. "I'm sorry," she whispered softly. "I'm so sorry."

It was her vulnerable apology that finally got to him, that brought him back from his grief. His head lifted, eyes still damp. "Don't be sorry," he told her. "There's just…there's something I have to tell you and …" He felt her stiffen. "No… it's not, no matter what, Jude, _I love you_. But this is something else."

Glancing at the boys to make sure Brady was still occupied and that Noah was sleeping, he lowered his voice and the whole story rushed out, including every awful thing Angie had thrown in his face because she wasn't getting her way and wanted to hurt him.

"I've never hated someone so much in my life," Tommy rasped, anger and pain in the words.

"I'm so sorry," Jude's tears fell freely. "I'm so sorry I was selfish."

"I don't care, I just... I need you with me now."

She nodded, a watery smile gracing her lips. "We'll work this out. I promise."

"I love you," he whispered. He brought his right hand up to her face, tracing the curve of her cheek lovingly. She leaned into his touch, her eyes closed. He moved closer, needing to hold her, needing to physically touch her, to know she was real. He wrapped both arms around her, pulling her right to him until his forehead touched hers. His nose brushed against hers, their lips hovered a breath apart. He could have stayed like that forever; breathing her in, holding her until the feel of her pressed against him was imprinted on his senses.

A sleepy "Momma, I gotta potty," came from the couch, effectively ending the emotional moment as both Tommy and Jude pulled back. They looked over and saw Noah sitting up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Reluctantly, Tommy dropped his arms as Jude went to Noah. She picked him up, balancing him on her hip, dropping a kiss on his forehead. "I'll just go take him," she offered with a tentative smile.

Tommy nodded and watched them leave before he turned back to the couch were Braden sat, engrossed in his cars. He was crashing them together and making exploding noises. Tommy settled onto the couch next to him and for the first time in what felt like days, his body relaxed. Brady crawled over into his father's lap and began to tell him all about the bad guy car trying to crash into the good guy. Tommy listened intently, smiling and asking questions to encourage the story. He started to drift off slightly, physically and emotionally drained from the day but jolted awake when Brady shifted in his lap and forced his eyes back open. Brady was watching him, eyes wide as he studied him.

"Daddy…" he started with a smile.

Tommy ran a hand over Braden's hair, ruffling it affectionately. "Yeah buddy?"

"I fuckin' love you," his little voice said sweetly.

Tommy groaned, inwardly berating himself. "I love you too, little man, but you and I need to have a talk."

TBC...


End file.

Instant Star, Drama, Romance