Bleach 1. Chapter 1

**Hitoshiyoshida: Hello, and welcome to my first (albeit rewritten) fanfiction! I would like to point out a few small things; number 1, I do not own ****_Bleach_ it is owned by****Tite Kubo, whom I do not own, cuz that would be wierd. Cool, but wierd. Secondly, thank you to (Anonymous) who pointed out a few ****_minor _****problems in the story. But to those of you who hadn't read this before just ignore that last bit, okay? Well, that's enough o' that; time to get on with the story! Enjoy:)**

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**Chapter 1; Soul Whats?**

My name is Garett... something I forgot; I have black hair and green eyes. My skin is absolutely white; I'm one of those people who never tan no matter how much sun they get. I'm from a small town in California, and I am 18 years old and single. My hobbies are studying kendo, painting, and relaxing in scenic places. I guess I'm pretty normal despite one tiny fact... I'm dead.

* * *

I died in a car accident near my home in California about six months ago, date of death; July 9, 1974. Since then I've been wondering one thing day in and day out; when will I cross over. A few months ago however, I've decided that sitting around won't do anyone any good so I should still help other souls with their own crossing. I decided this when I saw the soul of a small child crying, and felt this pang of sadness at the fact he was probably scared and didn't know where he was. I spoke to him and eventually he disappeared. After that, I just began traveling the city, helping souls cross over wherever I found them. But I have noticed something different between myself and them; they all have chains sticking out of their chests, whereas I don't. Eventually I just stopped worrying about it and chalked it up to my soul being different somehow.

It was early December, and I was walking through a park that was normally filled with the spirits of children, but when I arrived, there was not a soul in sight. I walked around a bit, searching for any spirits in the area to no avail. As it began filling with the living I gave up, before I noticed a presence unlike that of any spirit I had encountered before. It was a man who looked about thirty or forty years old, and he was wearing a black baggy outfit with a katana on his hip. He looked around a bit, looking for something in particular then noticed me and jogged up. He seemed substantial enough, but when he walked through several park goers I knew he was definitely a spirit. When he reached me he drew his sword. "Are you a whole?" He asked in heavily accented English.

"Yes I'm in one piece, but who are you?"

"Give me moment." He reached into his sleeve and pulled out what appeared to be a small travel dictionary. "Ok, my name is Yamada Daisuke; I am a soul reaper, sent to purify soul in this region. Um, hold, _Shigeru, koko ni kinasai*_"

Another soul reaper came running, and the two had a fast paced conversation in Japanese.

The newcomer turned to me and began speaking. "Hello, my name is Naga, Shigeru. My associate and I are soul reapers, and you are a whole. We must purify you now, so be good and hold still." With that, he drew his sword and (not so gently) slammed the hilt on my forehead.

As soon as the stars vanished I looked back up to see both 'Soul Reapers' staring at me confused. As soon as the pain faded, I introduced their faces to my fists and feet. Five minutes later both swordsmen were facedown. "You couldn't even beat one unarmed man?" I asked the unconscious duo, not really expecting a response.

"Idiots," I muttered, picking up the two swords and sheathing them. I tied one to my hip and walked away until I had reached a safe distance and sat against a tree. _What was up with those guys?_ I wondered. "_Who knows"_, my inner voice answered.

_Nice to hear you again, _I thought.

_"Who were those fools?"_ My voice asked, clearly curious.

"Just a pair of weird spirits," I said aloud. I shook my head and settled down to sleep for a few hours.

* * *

In my dreams, I was standing before a dark building that gave off the feel of a haunted mansion. I walked to the large pair of french doors and pushed them open, revealing a very nice, albeit dimly lit, lobby. I proceeded forward towards a small door and opened, revealing...

* * *

I opened my eyes at the sound of a distant scream, one more akin to an angry beast than a human. A moment later I heard it again, this time much closer. I rose quickly and ran towards it, knowing I had to do something to protect anyone that I could.

"_A noble goal,"_ My inner voice said.

_Shut up_, I shot back. After a few minutes of running I arrived at the park, which was completely destroyed; the play structures were wrecked, trees were snapped in two, and the fountain that was the centerpiece was crushed, and water was pooling beneath it. I looked around a bit more and saw Daisuke pinned to a giant oak tree, with long, bone-like spears pinning his arms and legs to the wide trunk. I ran over and checked his vitals. Once I was sure he was alive I broke the spears and pulled him down. To keep him from bleeding out I tore off strips of his outfit and bandaged his injuries. He stirred and I shook him till he was fully awake.

"Hey, Soul Reaper guy, what happened here?" I asked.

He groaned and mumbled something in Japanese. "Say it in English," I muttered.

"A hollow attacked, and killed Shigeru. Then it took some kid's soul and fled."

I dropped the swordsman and stood up. I breathed deeply, trying to control my rage. "Which way did it go?" I asked angrily.

"Why do you care? It's not like you're the one it took."

I felt something snap inside and I put my foot against his throat. "Tell me where it went, and I will forgive your heartless statement."

I suppose I got to him, because he began shaking in fear. "It went east. Please don't hurt me."

I picked up the sword I stole and ran in the direction of the monster's roar. Five minutes later I saw the beast: a bulky, dragon like thing with a bone-white face. Between its teeth was someone's arm, and at its feet was a pool of blood and an unconscious child.

"Coward," I roared, drawing my weapon, "How dare you hunt something as weak as a child! Fight me, you pathetic worm!"

The monster turned towards me and charged. And while it was pretty quick, it was still too slow to hit me. As it flew past me I slashed down its side, slashing one of its legs. It turned and rushed me again. This time I took off one of its wings. It tumbled, and suddenly my left arm dropped to my side with a jet of blood. I look down and saw a foot-long spike jutting out of my shoulder. I turned my head towards the monster and saw a softball-sized hole on its shoulder. A quick once over made me notice several similar holes covering its body. It turned back to face me, and I could swear the thing grinned. It howled, and launched a volley of spikes, and I managed to dodge a few of them, but the majority of the darts either cut or stuck into my flesh. I shake myself, and manage to land another few small injuries, but the worst I inflicted was a shallow gash across its face. I swung the sword again, feeling pain and exhaustion slow me. My opponent roars and swings his remaining foreleg, snapping several ribs and clouding my vision. My knees hit the ground, and my sword fell from my hand.

_Dammit, am I going to die? Without saving anyone, not even that kid? _My fists tighten at the thought. The monster rears back again, and I feel my rage growing inside, like an inferno. _No! I will not die! _As the monster's leg swung down I raised my arm, blocking the blow and feeling bones snap, this time belonging to my opponent. I swing my clenched fist, breaking through the shell like layer of the creature's face with little resistance, and I remember my sword barely scratching it. I swing again, this time making contact with pale skin and sending the beast reeling. I grab the spike in my shoulder and rip it out, ignoring the pain, and change my grip so I now have a long dirk. I grin, and feel sanity loosen its grip on my mind. I charge forward and slash, jab, and lunge with the makeshift weapon, making new holes in my opponent. To my eyes it seems like the monster is moving slower and slower. It swings at me, and I step aside and drive the dart deep into its owner's eye socket with a massive stream of blood and an agonized roar. It begins to disintegrate, and as it disappears, so does my battle frenzy. The pain and exhaustion from my battle hits me with the force of a wrecking ball. I fall backwards, and as an added injury land on the hilt of my sword. I looked up and saw the silhouette of a man in a strange hat standing over me. He leaned over me and grinned. _"Dono yo ni omoshiroi."_*

I struggled to stay awake, but sleep overtook my body.

* * *

_Shigeru, Koko ni kinasai_: Shigeru, get over here

_Dono yo ni omoshiroi_: How interesting

**Hitoshiyoshida: Well, what an interesting plot development, I mean who could that fellow have been, with the strange hat? Any ideas Garett?**

**Garett: (Groan) Ow. **

**Hitoshiyoshida: O-kaay, well onto our first ever guest, Squad 12 Captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi! Captain?**

**Mayuri: Thank you for the test subject, I will be sure to do something that removes the need for a translation section in the next chapter. Anyhoo, I have a new subject to dissect.**

**Hitoshiyoshida: Aren't you going to try to make an excuse?**

**Mayuri: No. Now leave me alone so I can get to work. **

**Garett: See you next time. Now, please review, or that wierd guy is gonna do something terrible to me, I just know it! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Hitoshiyoshida; Hello Bleach fans, and thank you for reviewing (Checks laptop), wait it seems no people have reviewed yet. And you know what that means for poor Garett, don't you?**

**Garett; Wait! I thought you were kidding!**

**(A door opens and Kurotsuchi enters) **

**Kurotsuchi; He wasn't, and neither was I.**

**Hitoshiyoshida; Well, what are you planning for this poor soul? **

**Kurotsuchi; I'm planning to tackle two birds with one stone and give this specimen the ability to speak Japanese...**

**Garett; That's not too bad.**

**Kurotsuchi; ...by surgically implanting him with a small creature that allows the host to learn any language within twenty-four hours. The subject can even learn in it's sleep.**

**Garett; I do not want some animal nesting in my head!**

**Kurotsuchi; too bad. ~Thunk~**

**(Garett slumps forward, a massive lump forming on his skull)**

** Hitoshiyoshida; Well, time for the disclaimer; I do not own anything except my own characters. **

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The American Soul Reaper

**Chapter 2**

I open my eyes and find myself in front of a set of heavy oak doors to a bleak, depressing mansion. A quick glance tells me that my injuries are gone. I take a step forward and the doors swing open freely, as if the house was waiting for me. I walk inside and continue inward to a large staircase and walk down, and notice that the walls are smeared with blood to the right. I follow the trail, and as I go higher up I feel a sense of impending dread. When I reach the top I see a long hallway, with a single door at the end, though the walls do look odd in some places. I continue to the door and push in, expecting it to be locked, as it had been the last time I was here.

However, this time the door opens, and I wince at the squeal of rusted hinges. The room itself is shocking compared to the rest of the house, as the walls are clean, as well as the floors. However the room is nearly bare, except for the black stone coffin in the middle of the room. I walk towards it and push the lid, trying to open it, but find it stuck in place. I pushed harder and the casket slid open slightly, releasing a jet of putrid air. I recoil from the smell and slip, landing as gracefully as a drunk.

I see blood on my hands and realize I must have cut myself on a corner of the coffin. I rip a strip of cloth off my shirt and use it to bandage the cut. I turn and walk away, muttering about the edge, but as I am about to close the door I hear a rough scraping sound. I turn quickly and see a bony hand push the coffin lid aside. I back away slowly, as the coffin's inhabitant rises slowly, like a zombie from a horror flick. Its face is like old white leather, and its eyes seem to glow red. It wears a dust covered crimson suit. He sniffs around and kneels at the bloody corner of the coffin. I see a pale white tongue dart out of his mouth and lap up the blood until all the liquid is gone. His face begins to smooth out, and its hair, white when it awoke, grows darker until it is pitch black. The corpse rises to an impressive height and smoothes out his suit. He turns his head to me and smiles, revealing a row of long, sharp canines. **_"So, we finally meet, Master." _**

My eyes widen at the sound of his voice, as I've heard it several times before, but not in this place. It was the voice that had been speaking to me ever since I had died. "So, you're the voice in my head? I thought you'd be shorter."

The thing standing in front of me blinked. Then he began to chuckle, and a few seconds later he was doubled over laughing. **_"Of all the things…Hahaha…of all the things you could have said, you chose that?" _**

I nodded, and the figure breaks down into laughter again. **_"You always were amusing, but I did not expect this. Well, you should wake up now, before that madman cuts you open."_**

* * *

My eyes open and I quickly scan my surroundings. _Okay, I'm in a dark room, one door, and one light hanging from the ceiling. I am lying on a metal table, but I'm not strapped down or restrained. But where is the "madman"? _My question is answered a few seconds later, when an old man walks in with a tray of sharp, painful-looking instruments. I don't waste any time; I jump up off the table and quickly swing my elbow into the old man's head. He drops unconscious, and I double over at a sudden pain in the arm I hit him with. I then realize that my body is covered in cuts and gouges from my battle. Then I realize another, slightly more dangerous problem; I have no clothes except for a pair of boxers. I look down at the man who had walked in and notice that he is about the same height as me. I quickly strip him down to his underwear and dress in the kimono and hakama, but I leave the shoes and socks behind. I also take a set of keys he had, just in case.

Half-an-hour later I'm sitting in a storage closet as a group of scientists armed with swords runs past. I breathe a sigh of relief as they pass, grateful that there was nothing to make me shout out or even whimper in pain.

**_"Hiding, are you? You cowardly fool."_**

_Damn it,_ I growl inwardly_, I do not need you to distract me right now. And how am I being foolish?_

**_"Simple, you choose not to fight. That is cowardice."_** I feel annoyance at the annoying… _person_ inside my head.

_Shut up_, I yell inwardly. **_"Search your feelings; you know it to be true."_**

"I said SHUT UP!" I yell, only to realize that I said it out loud.

**_"It's too late to worry, so just fight."_**

I don't bother with answering this guy, and go straight to running. I kick the door to my hiding place off its hinges, straight into a middle-aged guy wearing a lab coat. I roll out the opening and bolt down the hall, making turns that seem right. A few turns later and I was trapped in a dead end. _Crap, now what?_ I wonder, as I turn to try a different path. I walk down and hear the sounds of commotion, and see a guy about my age running through the halls. He turns my way and waves. "Hey, mind helping me out?"

"What are you talking about?" I ask, before seeing a crowd of scientists running towards us.

In front of the group is a man wearing a long coat and a weird hat. "Kill the intruder! And bring me that specimen! I want it alive!"

With that they charge, and I find myself beside the other guy, who drew his sword. And I realize I do not have a weapon. However, I do not have time to worry about this, as I have a horde of madmen running at me with weapons drawn. The first one to reach me gets taken down by the guy beside me, and I take down the second with an elbow strike followed by a chop to the throat. I pick up the unconscious man's sword (a wakizashi my kendo knowledge reminds me) and immediately block another attack from behind. I spin around, slap my attacker's sword to the ground, and snap it in two. The bewildered swordsman looks up at me in wonder before I knock the sword hilt into his solar plexus. A swift kick knocks him out, and I focus on my next opponents? Five of the scientists rush me, and I lose control of my body. I feel as if someone had tied strings to my limbs and was using me as a puppet to cut down enemies. I dart forward, slash, dart left, cleave one person in half, and dash forward again, finishing the last three in one blow. **_"See, that is the power you could have if you stopped being a coward and admitted you enjoy battle."_**

The feeling I had vanishes, and exhaustion replaces it. I collapse and the other guy looks over. "Hey, you alright?" he asks.

"Yeah," I reply, and I feel a stabbing pain in my, well, everything that got cut up by the thing, the hollow, I fought. "So, what's your name?"

He looks over and grins, "Isshin. Isshin Kurosaki."

"Call me Garett." I say dodging a sword stroke that reminded us both of the fight at hand. I recover quickly, but the blood dripping down my chest reminds me that I need to get out of here quickly. "Hey, Isshin," I yell as I block a pretty powerful slash,

"What is it?" he growled back, holding an enemy back with both hands.

"You wouldn't happen to have a grenade handy, would you?"

"Sorry but no, why don't you- yeargh!"

He falls to the ground, with a dagger protruding from his side. I swing a kick at one of the scientists, but my leg feels like it struck iron. I look at the other person and see the middle aged guy I kicked the door into earlier. I then notice a set of horns on his head, and catalogue his face for future retribution. The man with the strange hat meanders towards me, and I can feel a horrible pressure on my chest, and sweat begins to drip down my face. He kneels down and I begin to feel weak. Before the feeling overwhelms me, I hear an explosion, and then a young woman's voice calling for a healer. Then my vision goes black.

* * *

I find myself back in the dream world, standing in the room I was last in, with the personification of my inner voice sitting on the coffin. We stare at each other for several moments and before I can speak he asks a very painful question.

**_"Garett tell me why you did not kill them all? Are you that weak? Or are you a _****coward****_?"_**

I wince at the words, and know, deep inside, it is partially true, but I don't know what I'm afraid of. But I can't let him know that he's right.

"No, I just didn't want to waste my energy early on." I say casually.

**_"Fine,"_** he mutters before waving his hand across my eyes and making my vision go black.

* * *

What feels like several hours later I open my eyes to a soft light above me and soft sheets covering my body. I sit up, and feel a stabbing pain in my chest. _Oh right_, I remind myself, _severe injuries._ Pull the sheets aside and find my wounds gone, except for the deepest of the cuts; and only a few scars remain of those. I slide off the bed slowly and find myself wearing soft white cotton trousers. On a chair beside the bed is a solid white kimono. I slip it on and walk towards the sliding door, wincing when I step with my right leg. As I approach the door I feel a force pushing me back. It is not painful, but it isn't pleasant either. I ignore it and continue forward, and the force gets stronger with each step. I manage to get within a few feet of it, but find myself unable to take a step forward or back. I reach for the door handle and before I can open it… someone else does. As soon as that happens the force vanishes, and I fall forward onto something soft. I hear a high pitched scream and feel an opened palm come into contact with my cheek. I feel my body do a barrel-roll into the wall, and see a young woman with black hair tied in a bun and wearing one of those outfits the scientists were wearing (except for the lab coat) standing in the open doorway with a clip-board and pen. I bolt up and look her over again, and after a few seconds convince myself that she is no threat. **_"Are you sure?"_**

Yes, now shut up. I mutter in my mind. I turn my attention back to the woman, who walks over to me and bows deeply. "I'm sorry for hitting you. Had I known that you were stuck in the barrier I would have caught you. And I shouldn't have hit one of our patients anyway."

"Its fine," I tell her, despite the intense stinging in my cheek, "It may have been an accident, but anyone would do the same in your place."

The woman breathes a sigh of relief and holds up the clipboard. "Well, let's get your physical done so we can get you settled in the Rukongai."

"The what?" I ask, slightly confused.

The woman looks at me in confusion for a moment before she remembers something important; "Oh, that's right, you were never given a Soul Funeral. Well, I suppose I will have to explain. The Rukongai is the area where most souls live after they arrive in the Soul Society." The woman checks her clipboard, flipping through papers before finding the one she was looking for. "Alright Garett, for you, you will be sent to… oh, this is odd. You will be tested for entrance to the Soul Reaper Academy in three days."

I think about this, and come to the conclusion that I have no idea what she is saying. "I'm sorry, but I don't know what you're talking about Miss…"

"Oh, my name is Shigure, Hana. I'm a member of Squad 4. And your name is...?"

"I forgot my last name, so just call me Garett."

About half-an-hour later my physical is complete and, (aside from the permanent scarring) am in perfect health. She begins putting away her medical tools, and I remember something I need to ask.

"Excuse me, Shigure-Dono," _Wait, what?_ I don't have time to think about the honorific, as she looks at me. "What is it?"

"I was wondering just what happened to the other guy, Isshin."

She checks her clipboard and searches a list of names. "You wanted to know about Kurosaki, correct?" I nod in confirmation. "He was returned to active duty yesterday and put on probation."

"Yesterday; then how long have I been KO'd?"

Hana thinks for a second, but another voice cuts her answer off. "You have been unconscious for almost three days. I turn to the door and see a woman maybe thirty years old standing in the doorway, wearing the same outfit as almost everyone else I had met in this place; however she was wearing a long-sleeved coat. Another thing to set her apart is the braid in front of her body. The woman smiles at me, and I feel a strange chill go up my spine and I shiver. "So, who are you?" I ask, trying not to sound too disrespectful.

"I am Captain Retsu Unohana of Squad Four. Now please, give me your name." She smiles again, and the same chill goes up my spine, but slower.

"My name is Garett, and as for my last name I forgot it. Sorry."

Captain Unohana bows slightly and steps out of the room, and I feel a great sense of relief, as though a serial killer had decided to let me live. Something in the back of my mind I sense that my stay in this place will be _very_ eventful.

* * *

**Garett; Well, that was scary**

**Voice_; Especially me watching you fight. There were some moments I didn't think either of us would actually survive. _**

**Garett; Shut up! At least _I _did something. Besides, I don't have time for worrying with this new school I'm going to.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

**Hitoshiyoshida: So, Garett, how do you feel? **

**Garett: How do you think I feel? I was hospitalized and had a crrepy scientist do... things to me.**

**Hitoshiyoshida: It cant've been that bad, you were unconcious the entire time!**

**Garett: Y-you are a sadistic bastard.**

**Kurotsuchi: Not when compared to Unohana.**

**Garett: You mean the nice Captain? How bad can she be?**

**Kurotsuchi: Come close. (Garett leans in (against his better judgement)) **

***Hushed whispers***

**Garett: OH MY GOD! That- that's terrible. How could she get away with that?**

**Unohana: Get away with what? And why aren't you in bed where you are supposed to be?**

***Garett runs to his room, terrified***

**Unohana: Now what was all that about?**

* * *

The next three days passed slowly, and I had little to do except read books on the history of the Soul Society, written completely in kanji. However, I was able to read this perfectly, due to a small creature that had been implanted in my brain. When I first heard this, I started to feel nauseous at the thought of an animal crawling around in my skull. Hana, my nurse during my stay, had told me that it had died and disintegrated, depositing all its knowledge into me. This calmed me down; at least until I was told that it had done this by replacing a language I already spoke perfectly with the new one.

I was never more grateful that I had learned Spanish.

* * *

After the three days were up I was handed a large package that contained the outfit I was going to wear to the examination. With an hour to spare before I left, I spent most of it just getting ready; washing my face, combing my hair, just staving off my feeling of anxiousness. When I heard the clock chime two, the appointed time for departure, I walked into the hall wearing the dress outfit I had been given; a fine kimono and hakama with a simple cotton sash to tie it together. At the end of the hall I saw Hana waving me over.

"So, are you ready to go?" She asked, map in hand.

I smile to disguise the feeling of unease fluttering in my stomach. "Yeah, I think I am. So what can I expect?"

"Well, the examiners usually test you on all the basics, just to figure out where you stand in comparison to the rest of the students."

"Really, that's it?" I ask, feeling most of my worry fade away.

With that we start off, towards the school where I would spend the next few years of my un-life.

It took almost two hours to reach the Soul Reaper Academy, but luckily the weather was nice and cool, so the walk wasn't completely unpleasant. I saw several Soul Reapers going about their daily duties and realized that one day it could be me in that uniform, carrying a sword on a daily basis, and doing whatever Soul Reapers do. As I ponder my fate we reach the Academy, and the first thing I notice is the sheer size of it. Even the gate is impressive, stretching several meters into the air and adding a feel of importance. Though I guess it was already very important, but with the gate it just seemed even more… oh never mind. We enter the building and I notice several of the students staring at me and whispering, _I guess they don't get many foreigners here_, I think to myself. I go back to ignoring the students and about ten, maybe fifteen minutes later I reach what I guess is the examination room. I look at Hana for confirmation and she nods, signaling me to push open the overly-large door to reveal a large room with a single desk set in front of a long table seating five men and women. I walk to the desk and wait for the people (instructors, maybe?) to speak. After a few seconds the man sitting in the center rises. He appears fit, and his attitude portrays strength and leadership.

"Hello and congratulations on getting permission to test into the academy. I am Madara, head instructor here. I hope you understand that this is a special privilege. Not many people are permitted to take this. The biggest reason was that you, an untrained spirit, with no real power at all, managed to defeat a hollow that had killed and wounded a pair of seated officers. And then one day later fought a large group of Soul Reapers, a feat for anyone to accomplish. Now over the next three hours you will be tested in the basic skills all Soul Reapers need; kido, hakuda, hoho, and zanjutsu. You will also be tested on your general knowledge."

He sits down and the shortest of the women rises. Her outfit is similar to what Captain Unohana wore, but with a slight variation. Our eyes meet and I feel power emanating off of her. "So, you think you can become a Shinigami? You aren't even Japanese, and even worse you're American, and to top it off, you barbarian, you killed two of our own. So what do you say to that?"

I grit my teeth, where did she get off being so judgmental? "Listen," I say, trying to keep my voice level. "I have never judged anyone because of nationality and as for the two Soul Reapers I killed, try to not kill someone trying to kill you, it's hard. Besides, racism never accomplishes anything, so what's the point of using it against me?"

The woman stares at me for a few seconds before a smile appears at her lips. Then she begins to laugh, as if I had said something to amuse her. "You have some guts, speaking to the Captain of Squad Two like that. Now, can you defend your words with force?"

I stare back and hold her gaze. I answer with a statement I will try to remember to use in the future.

The woman smirks at my comment and instantly vanishes. A split second later I feel a leg crash into my back, and I roll with the blow to soften the impact. Even so, my back feels like it was lit on fire, and I notice the dress kimono I'm wearing is slightly ripped. Before I have a chance to take it off, however, a foot (wearing Chinese martial arts shoe) crashes into my chest. I rise up a few feet and cough before hitting the ground a few meters away. I stand up and look at the spot and see that the cloth is torn and the flesh underneath has already started bruising. I ignore the pain and get into a fighting stance, and manage to block a feint, but the real strike behind it drives into my solar plexus. I grit my teeth and swing, to at least attempt a hit. She dodges easily and I feel my feet leave the ground. I flip twice before gravity kicks in, and I hit the ground…_hard_. The woman walks towards me and steps on my throat.

"Surrender!" she yells.

I reply by twisting my body while swinging a fist, and manage to land my first hit of the fight. Unfortunately, the hit only carried about one one-hundredth of the force as the captain's own attack. She leans over me and raises her right hand to finish the fight and I decide not to close my eyes and watch it come. The woman nods and gets off of me. "Congratulations, you have passed the hakuda test."

"Hakuda test?" I choke out, massaging my throat.

"Yes, hakuda is the art of unarmed fighting in the soul society. And you passed it with flying colors."

I stand up, and instantly regret it; my head becomes heavy, and the back of it is pounding. To alleviate this I sit down, and enjoy the feeling of all my injuries now that my adrenaline has run out. "So," I ask, "How exactly did I pass? All I did was get beaten down repeatedly, and only landed one hit."

The woman smirked. "You may think you did poorly, but I am a hakuda master, and even holding back that much, not many students can even touch me. So, by landing even a weak hit like that, you proved better than most first year students."

Madara rose again and clears his throat. "And with that the hakuda test ends. Now Captain Sui-Feng, could you please leave the floor? I would like to begin the kido test, and it would be good if you were not inside the firing range."

The captain nods and leaps high into the air, landing on her seat perfectly. A tiny old man walks out from behind the table, a thick book held in his right hand. He speaks with a high pitched voice. "So, now we begin to test your ability in kido, our magic, so you should prepare yourself, as this is one of the more difficult tests, so be prepared."

"And what exactly am I supposed to do?" I ask, having never done this…kido, before.

The old man smiles at me and raises one hand. "Just do what I do." With that he waves his free hand and a small disk is launched at him. I watch it for a split second before it bursts into flame. I squint my eyes against the sudden flare of light and look back at the instructor, whose palm is slightly singed. "Now, do you see what I did?"

I shake my head and the old man laughs. "Well, you had better listen then. What I did was…"

* * *

Half an hour later I'm standing in the spot the old man was in, surrounded by broken clay and blood from my right hand. I had been getting close to being successful at destroying a clay target, but increasingly tired with each attempt. The old man looked at me and sighed. "It is good that you have determination, but unfortunate you aren't as proficient at kido as you are at hakuda. Now one more try, then we will continue onto the next test."

"I understand." I say through slightly gritted teeth. I turn back to the wall and raise my bloody hand. _Kido has four basic steps_, I think to myself, remembering the old man's words. _Step one is gathering the energy needed_. I imagine it like water flowing into my arm, and focus it near my hand. "**_If this is going to be your last attempt I suppose I could lend you some power." _**My voice says.

_Aren't we the same person?_ I ask him, and at this he laughs. **_"Not quite, for you see, I am separate from you, but we are the same soul."_**

The voice goes silent, and I feel energy surge into me, which I then force into my hand. _Step two is compressing it into a dense ball, but not so dense that it becomes weighed down when launched._ I force the energy to pressurize until it begins to burn and hold it**_. "Tone down the intensity, or else you might blow your own arm off with the pressure."_** The voice says, and I silently thank him for that. I do lower the pressure and move on to step 3, the one that had given me the most trouble; _aiming_.

I take a deep breath and focus. When I'm ready I signal for the disc to be launched, and begin to track its movement. I watch it come at me, (it's actually moving slower than it was with the old man) and "lock on". **_"NO, no, no. It's your tracking that's making you miss. Just shoot where it's going to be."_**

_Fine_, I shoot back and adjust my aim. I follow the disc, keeping my hand slightly ahead of it. _Time for step four, releasing the gathered energy_. This I have managed so far, as it is just throwing the energy at the target. However, while the other shots missed, this one hit the disc, breaking it into tiny shards. I feel a rush of euphoria and fall back. When I feel calm I turn to the instructors. "So, when can I start the next test?"

The old man grins, "Well, you did manage to pass, but for now, why don't we head to lunch? Suzuku, take care of his hand please. And Urara, get him a new kimono."

A young man, presumably Suzuki, walks up to me and grabs my sore wrist. "Wow," he mutters, "I didn't think anyone could mess up their hand this bad doing _kido,_ you must really suck at it."

I would have retorted, had it not been for the fact that this person was in charge of fixing my hand, and I wanted to keep all my fingers. When he finished I flex it, amazed at the absence of pain and blood. I stand up and find Urara, a rather attractive young woman, standing behind me with a clean new outfit that is much simpler than my current one. I am led to a small room where I can change, and as I do so I notice massive bruises across me chest and back, but the strangest one is on the center of my chest, in the shape of a perfect circle. I touch it and feel no real amount of pain, but it does feel odd. But it doesn't hurt, so I ignore it, and put on the kimono and go back to where the instructors are waiting for me.

* * *

**Hitoshiyoshida: So, Garett, how did it feel to fight the Captain?**

**Garett: Eh, I've had worse, you know, when I died. This is definitely a close third though. Right after being impaled by the hollow.**

**Hitoshiyoshida: So what you're saying is, the Captain fights worse than a hollow?**

**Garett: No, she fought a lot better than a hollow, but the hits hurt a lot less.**

**Hitoshiyoshida: And would you like to know something interesting?**

**Garett: What?**

**Hitoshiyoshida: This is a live broadcast, and everyone is listening. Including Sui-Feng.**

**Garett: Oh, F**K YOU WITH A BRICK**

**(Garett runs out of the room, jumps through an open window, and dissapears into the night)**

**Sui-Feng: (Bursts through the door). Where is that little punk? **

**Hitoshiyoshida: I think he jumped out that window over there. Anyways, to all our listeners out there, send in your requests as to what you want to happen to Garett.**

**Sui-Feng: ... You really are a sadistic bastard aren't you?**

**Hitoshiyoshida: I have pills for that... Wanna split 'em?**


	4. Chapter 4

**Garett: Wait, what was on my chest? I thought you said the medics got everything?**

**Hitoshiyoshida: Shut up. Anyways don't expect much of a break, 'cause you still have three more tests to take. By the way, the next time I see you I may have a few guests over.**

**Garett: Wait, since when have you had guests?**

**Hitoshiyoshida: I do not own Bleach, or any other subject matter already claimed by other parties. **

**Garett: A disclaimer? Why? No-one ever reads those things.**

**Hitoshiyoshida: Do you ****_want _****someone to sue your ass? **

**Chapter 4**

I follow the instructors down a hallway and look around at the classrooms, some of which bring back memories. At least, I think they do. A few minutes later we arrive at what appears to be a massive dining hall. At the tables lining the walls sit people who appear to be teachers, and at the center tables are hundreds of people my age wearing uniforms for this school. I follow the instructors to a line of people serving beef rice bowls. I take one along with a set of wood chopsticks. I follow the teachers out to a long table at the back of the hall and sit, trying to avoid attention. I pick up my utensils and begin eating with the rest of the people. After a few bites I begin to listen to the conversations around me. To my right the old man is talking to a fellow teacher about the weakness of zanjutsu against kidô. The other replies with a fast paced barrage of statistics that I can barely keep track of. To my left is the captain, who is engaged in a discussion on whether attacking from behind was acceptable in one-on-one combat. I look around and see a couple of students staring at me strangely. One of them mutters something and the rest laugh, and I begin wondering if my appearance will cause problems. However, a quick glance around the hall clears away my worries; it seems nearly half the students have features that would seem ridiculous to anyone, anywhere.

Eventually the instructors in charge of testing me finish eating and we walk out of the hall and outside, to a field covered in three-meter tall wooden posts set about a meter apart. Captain Sui-Feng jumps up to the top. "Watch me if you can."

I stare at her for what seems like a near eternity before she disappears from sight.. I look around the field and see her at the opposite end. She then reappears directly in front of me, making me take a step back. "Now, think you can do that, Gaijin?"

I feel a vein in my forehead begin to swell as she uses what I think is an insult. "Yes," I reply, "If someone will explain what you just did."

The Captain laughs, "Well, not so skilled are we? Well what I just did is called Shunpo, a means of transportation faster than any human method."

"Yes I can tell."

She glared at me, practically saying I was in for a lot of suffering at her hands. "Yes, it is much faster, and is far more efficient for Shinigami. It is performed by gathering energy in the legs and taking a step. That's all I need to tell you, and if you can't figure out how to make it to the tenth row of posts within the next half-hour, then maybe you just aren't cut out to be one of us."

I grind my teeth as she speaks in that arrogant tone of hers. "I think I can manage it." _Maybe_, I add silently. I walk up to the first post and begin climbing. When I reach the top I stand with my muscles tightened and focus on my legs, trying to do what I did during the kidô part. When I feel ready I take a step forward… and fall straight down, hitting my body on the post in front of me.

I hit the ground with a thud, and I decide to enjoy the ground against my face while I figure out what I did wrong. **_"Perhaps you just missed a step?"_** The Voice asks before chuckling **_"Fine, now tell me; what did you do?"_**

_I did what I did during the last test, only in my legs. Then I took a step forward._

**_"And you didn't attempt to take any more steps after the first? I know it's called 'Flash-Step', but when did anyone say it was just one?"_**

_"I hate you so much right now." _

Thirty minutes later I'm breathing hard and feeling completely drained, but I have only made it to the third row. The instructors are shaking their heads slightly, as if they expected something incredible to happen at the last minute. Unfortunately, nothing special happens, and I climb down, trying not to collapse. A couple minutes later I catch my breath, and I ask how I did.

"Well," The Madara said, "Compared to other students you did a little below average. So, think you're ready for the next exam

"Just so long as it doesn't require anything physical," I Reply.

"Alright then," He said, "Why don't we do the written part of the exam then?"

With that he leads me back into the room we were first in, only now, on a desk that had been put in there while we, is a pretty thick test booklet and a pen. I walk over to the desk and sit, and as soon as I look down I immediately think of a very important question.

"Excuse me, Teacher?"

"Do you have a question?"

I feel slightly foolish as I ask "Do you want my answers in Japanese, or will any language do?"

The instructors look at me in surprise. Then Madara answers "As long as you can read the questions you can fill it out in any language you'd like. Now begin, you have exactly forty-five minutes to finish."

"Thank you." I say, and immediately begin the test and work through it quickly, with none of the questions being too difficult. I finish the last answer with ten minutes to spare, and I decide to take a quick nap.

I find myself back in my dream-world, or whatever it is, and walk through the doors, following the same path I did the first time. I push open the door leading to the…coffin room? I guess, and see my inner voice sitting on the black casket with a glass of clear red liquid in hand. **_"So, you decided to visit, how pleasant."_**

"Actually I just fell asleep, but your way sounded better."

**_"You do know I could kick you out of this world at any time, right? I wouldn't even need to try."_**

"Right… Anyhow, what do you make of this place?" I ask.

**_"Well, that Sui-Feng girl seems dangerous, and this world makes no sense. How are we in feudal Japan, did we go back in time or is this really the afterlife?"_**

"I don't know," I replied, "Maybe this is just one part of the afterlife, and there's a whole world for the dead."

**_"That's just ridiculous. But, if it seems likely to you, go for it. On another note, have you noticed anything strange? There is just something that doesn't sit right with me."_**

I open my mouth to speak and I feel an evil presence enter the building. My inner voice waves his hand in my direction and everything goes dark. I decide that passing out

I sit up just as the bell signaling the end of the test rings. How I didn't notice it, I don't know. I get up and pick up the packet, walking to the desk at the front of the room and dropping it in front of the head instructor. He looks down and passes the paper to a woman and asks her to get the answers checked. Madara turns to me, "So, You've gotten through almost all the tests, and the only one remaining is zanjutsu, or sword arts. Unfortunately, our sword-master has classes to teach, so we had to find another person to conduct the test. Enter, assistant instructor Kojira*."

Before he had finished a huge man with dreadlocks kicked one of the doors open and walked to the center of the room. He was wearing his uniform draped over his shoulder and a wooden sword in his right hand. He looks me over before looking at the head instructor. "Madara-sensei, do you really think I should fight this guy? He looks kind of puny t' me."

"Just prepare to fight, Kojira."

One of the instructors tossed me a shinai and I gave it a few test swings. After getting the feel of the weapon I step in front of the giant. "Are you ready?"

Kojira answers by taking a wide stance. "Ready." And with that the fight starts.

He swings his weapon and I put mine up to guard. When the sword hits I take a step forward and push the shinai up, knocking him off balance. I lunge, catching the giant in the center of the chest and knocking him to the ground…

Yes, that would be cool; I think as I lay on the ground with a broken shinai and a numb right arm. I touch it gently and decide it was a bad idea to do so. I get up and pull my arm into the kimono, so the hemline supports it. From outside my field of vision someone throws me a new sword. I adjust my body so I can fight more easily, and motion for my opponent to continue. He grins and continues attacking, though not as viciously as the first strike. These I manage to block, though the impact does crack my weapon. As the fight goes on I begin to get out of breath. _I need to end this_, I think, and Kojira gives me the perfect opportunity. He raises his sword to deliver a heavy overhand blow. I pull my shinai back for a thrust, and we both launch our attacks simultaneously. As the tip of my wooden sword strikes him he stumbles back, and his attack halts. I take this opportunity to launch an attack of my own and as I keep fighting I feel energy rush into me. **_"Do you see what true power is like, Boy?"_**

_Yes, and I love it._ I keep attacking until my opponent decides to start playing hardball. He lashes out with his right foot, catching me in the stomach, and I fly back several feet. I hit the ground and feel something tear. I get up and notice something dripping from my forehead. I clench the blade and try to think about how I can win this fight. I pull up everything I know about combat. I rack my brain and for some reason remember the second test. What would happen if I were to put energy into my weapon? **_"Let's try it out, Child."_**

_Alright then_ I reply, and push energy into the wooden sword. Kojira swings again and I block, but to my surprise his blade passes through my own. However, nothing makes contact with my skin. I glance at his weapon and see that it has been sheared off, leaving only a few inches of the bamboo above the guard. I look at my own weapon but don't notice any difference, save for a soft red glow coming off the blade. Kojira screams something and swings his fist, and instinctively I raise my weapon to block. Before he can even touch the weapon, however the Captain catches his fist, making him stop dead in his tracks. The giant looked down at the Captain and he stepped back. "I'm sorry for my misconduct Ma'am." He said bowing low his voice quite clearly quivering with fear. While this was going on my adrenaline rush from the fight disappeared, leaving me with pain from all the bruises I got during the match.

As I hit the ground a couple of teachers run over to me and look me over and I realize that the numbness has left my arm. I wish that it didn't. One of the emergency staff rolls up the sleeve and waves someone over. I look at the arm and am shocked to see several black lines coursing through my veins. "What the hell is that?" I ask terrified at the… lines, whatever they are.

The Captain comes over and grabs the limb, sending pain coursing up my arm. I try to jerk away but she has me in a vice-like grip. After a few moments she releases the arm and I see that the lines have disappeared completely. About thirty seconds later another emergency arises. Several soul reapers appear and surround me, holding their swords to my chest. When I inquire as to their rudeness (though I may have been less polite about it), Madara walk up to me and pulls my shirt open, revealing a pitch black hole in my chest. I open my mouth to make a comment, when I feel the hilt of a sword hit the back of my head. Then I feel nothing.

* * *

**Hitoshiyoshida: Well, while Garett is Incapacitated, why don't we talk with our guests. First up is Suzaku Kururugi, honorary Britt... Brittinian? Brittonite? Whatever, here he is. **

**Suzaku: Who were you talking to?**

**Hitoshiyoshida: The audience, who else?**

**Suzaku: I don't know what that is. Hey, do you know if Mcdonalds is open past midnight? I need to get me Big Mac on.**

**Hitoshiyoshida: ... Moving on, our next guest is Britt... Dammit! Not this word again! Anyways he's Lelouch, yeah here he is.**

**Lelouch (In his Zero costume): I am not Lelouch I am One! The leader of the Dark Knights for justice, and as children we were nursed on the milk of justice and as adults we have aquired a taste for...**

**Hitoshiyoshida: Shut-up Lelouch we all know who you are.**

**Suzaku: Spinzaku time!**

**Lelouch: Oh sh*t not again!**

**Hitoshiyoshida: Both of you stop so we can settle this the old fashioned way. You two, cover yourselves in oil and then I'll drop this match. The last one standing wins.**

**Suzaku: Wins what?**

**Lelouch: Isn't it obvious? Being the best at burning!**

**Hitoshiyoshida: Anyways, shouldn't you guys get back, Purpleeyeswtf is probably gonna be needing you around the set, apparently someone blew up Shirley's head.**

**Lelouch: Hitoshi... who the F*** is Shirley?**

**END**

**Hitoshiyoshida: Please be sure to watch Code Ment and catch more of Lelouch and Suzaku's shenanigans, because those are cheeky and fun.**


End file.

Bleach, Adventure, Humor