Harry Potter 1. Magic Is A Bad Word

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWP - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter One**

**_Magic Is A Bad Word_**

_A Baby Is God's Opinion That Life Should Go On_

_- Carl Sandburg_

* * *

Draco stared blankly at the little boy in front of him. The black-haired boy stared back with wide green eyes, his thumb stuck in his mouth.

Draco blinked once, going over what had happened in his mind.

* * *

"_What's wrong, Potter?" Draco sneered, deflecting the weak jinx sent his way. "Is the poor baby afraid to be seen crying?"_

"_Shut up, Malfoy!" Potter shouted, wiping his eyes furiously as he blindly shot hex after hex towards his school nemesis._

_Draco laughed, almost cruelly, then raised his wand and began an incantation. However, one of Harry's jinxes hit him square in the chest. He flew backward and slammed into the opposite wall, his spell unfinished. Dazed, he sat up. That was a strong hex Potter had hit him with. Stronger than anything he thought the boy to be capable of, even considering what had happened the previous summer. But - speaking of Potter - where was he?_

_Draco looked around, and found Potter's robes in a pile on the floor. Potter was nowhere to be seen. Draco paled. His jinx was supposed to put Potter in a diaper with a bonnet and binky, to emphasize the whole baby joke. But he never finished the incantation - did the jinx backfire? Where was Potter now? Did the spell _hurt_ him?_

_The robes moved, and a mess of black hair popped out. Draco felt his heart start to beat again, though faster than normal. He didn't hurt Potter, he just shrank him._

_R__ight?_

* * *

Draco blinked again. He didn't shrink Potter. He turned him into a bloody _toddler_. The hex was made to make him look like a baby, and Draco managed to turn him into an actual baby.

"Who awe you?"

Jumping, Draco looked down. Little Potter was tugging on his robes, thumb still glued to his mouth. Draco was surprised at how well the little Potter could talk - he didn't look older than three or four and he just barely reached Draco's hips. He stared up at Draco, his glasses forgotten on the floor. Draco never realized how green Potter's eyes were until they were looking up at him with that burning curiosity that every child posses.

Potter tugged harder on his robes.

"Stop that." Draco snapped, yanking his robes out of Potter's small hand. Potter's eyes immediately widened and welled up, tears glistening as his lower lip began to tremble. Draco winced - that was a harsh tone to use with a little kid, even for a Malfoy, and that's apparently what Potter was right now; a little kid. "Do you know who I am?" He asked, not much nicer. Eyes still glistening, Potter shook his head slowly. "I'm Malfoy." Draco sighed, trying to be nicer to the bite-sized Gryffindor.

Potter blinked. "Malfwoy?" He scrunched his nose in concentration. "Dat's a weiwd name." His hands flew to his mouth almost immediately, and he looked up to Draco, a look of pure horror on his tiny features. "I'm sowwy!" he squeaked.

Draco raised an eyebrow. When did Potter actually gain his confidence? This kid was petrified at even the thought of insulting Draco's name, which was odd. The Potter Draco was familiar with _loved_ making fun of his name. It was one of his favorite things to do - mock how old-fashioned the name 'Draconius' was, with no thought to the fact that it was a noble, ancient pure-blood Wizarding name that was an _honor_ to be named, damnit.

"It's my last name. You can call me Draco, if you want." The words were out of his mouth before he realized what he was saying. This was _Potter_! No matter how young or old the kid was, he was still _Potter_ - Gryffindor's Golden Boy! The boy who's life he had been trying to make miserable ever since he came to Hogwarts and had his hand refused - _Harry Bloody Potter_!

"Dwaco." A huge smile broke out over Potter's face. "I like dat name." He looked around, taking in the empty corridor of the castle. Draco realized that Potter's clothes hadn't shrunk with him, and the little kid was swimming in clothes that were supposed to fit an eighteen year old.

"Where awe we, Dwaco?" Potter stuck his thumb back in his mouth. "Dis defin'tly i'n't Aunt P'tunia's house."

Draco rubbed his eyes. "This is Hogwarts. A school. Our school." He sighed. He couldn't fix this on his own. "Come on, Potter. We're going to Dumbledore."

"My name is Hawwy." Potter told him. "Unca Vewnon says dat Potter's a bad name."

Draco raised his eyebrows. Potter was told his name was bad? He shook his head. Who _cared_ how Potter was raised? He had to get him to Dumbledore immediately - dealing with a toddler version of Potter was _not_ part of the plan for the reconstruction of the Malfoy name.

"Follow me." He told the small boy. Draco turned and went about ten feet before he heard a small thud. Groaning inwardly, he turned around and saw that Potter had face-planted. The small boy brought his hand up to his nose, only to pull it away bloody. Draco braced himself, expecting terrified screams. He had been completely petrified of blood, his own or anyone else's, when he had been younger, and thought it was standard for little kids to hate blood. Instead, Potter scrambled to sit up straight. He pinched his nose, and tipped his head back slightly with the profession air of Madame Pomfrey, sighing as he closed his eyes.

"Are you okay?" Draco asked, reaching the Golden Boy in a matter of seconds. He crouched next to him, blanching at the blood that already stained the corridor floor.

"Fine." The boy said thickly. "I'b used t'bloody nobes." He wiped his nose on his sleeve, pleased to see no more blood. Even though it didn't last long, it bled hard and fast, drenching both the boy and the floor.

Draco was startled. "Why would you be used to bloody noses?"

"Dudley likes to pwactice on me." Potter said matter-of-factly. "I'm a good punching bag when he can catch me. But I'm pwetty fast now." He faced Draco, green eyes wide and innocent. Blood was painted down his face and on his much-too-large school robes. He looked like something straight out of one of those Muggle horror films.

"How'd you fall?" Draco asked, wondering vaguely who Dudley was. He didn't see anything for the small boy to trip over, except, of course -

"My pants." Potter kicked his legs, which were trapped in seemingly endless folds of fabric. "Dey're too long. I'm sowwy I fell." he added quickly.

Draco closed his eyes, sighed yet again, and stood up. He couldn't believe he was about to do what he was thinking of doing.

"Come on, Pott-_Harry_." The name was foreign on his tongue and would take a lot of getting used to. Not that he was going to be talking to him much - he was going to take the boy to Dumbledore and that would be that. "I guess I'll have to carry you."

Harry held his arms up. Draco picked him up and settled him on his hip, stunned at how light the already small boy was. "_Accio_." He muttered, flicking his wand.

Harry's glasses and wand flew over to Draco's waiting hand. Harry gasped. "How'd you do dat?!"

"Magic." Draco said absentmindedly. He pushed the glasses onto Harry's nose gingerly. Wondering what the _hell_ he had got himself into, Draco began the seemingly endless trek to Dumbledore's office.

Harry clamped his hands over Draco's mouth. Draco spluttered. "What the hell?!"

"Don't say dat word!" Harry whispered fearfully.

"What, hell? I'll say hell whenever the _hell_ I feel like it!"

"No!" Harry glanced over his shoulder as if worried someone might pop up around a corner. "_Magic_." He gasped quietly. "You can't say dat word - it's a bad word!"

Draco's thin eyebrows met, forming an elegant _V_ over his eyes. "Who told you that?"

"Unca Vewnon." Harry fell quiet, then spoke quickly, as if unable to contain his secret any longer. "Unca Vewnon says dere's no such thing as magic and I don't want you to get locked in da cubbawd if he heaws you say _magic_ like I do."

Draco stopped, and faced Harry. "They lock you in a _cupboard_?" He asked incredulously. He had hear rumors that Harry Potter's Muggle guardians were terrible people, but he had dismissed them as attempts to make Harry's life seem all the more tragic and interesting - better paper sales and all that rubbish. He never once put any credit to them being _true_.

Harry nodded furiously. "Dat's where I sleep." He informed the blonde.

Draco blinked, and shook his head. "Bloody hell." He shifted Harry to his other hip. "Don't they feed you anything?" He muttered. "You weigh less than my broom."

Harry shrugged, and his thumb found its way back into his mouth. "Sometimes," He said around his thumb. "If dey don't fowget I'm in da cubbawd."

* * *

I promise, the next chapters will be longer. This one came out shorter than I meant it to, but what can you do? If I added more it'd be too long. Oh, well. I'll be getting the quotes for the top of the chapters from .com, the babies section. :D I love little kids.

I have to share my inspiration for this fic: I was babysitting my cousin - who's about five and a half now, and while I was getting him ready for bed, I had to give him a bath. It was a lot of fun - I got soaked head to toe and he squealed like a little girl every time I splashed him - it was so adorable! We played for a long time in the bath before I wrapped a towel around his itty bitty body and picked him up. I had a sudden thought of _Draco_ giving a toddler form of Harry a bath. I don't know why, but I did. It wasn't a perverted thought - it was sweet, and I just had to write the story. It won't be anything too serious, so tell me if you like it! :) Reviewers get to play with Toddler Harry!! 3


	2. Don't Hit Dwaco

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWP - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THESE PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Two**

**_Don't Hit Dwaco_**

_A baby is an inestimable blessing and bother._

_~ Mark Twain_

_

* * *

_

Dumbledore smiled kindly down at the young boy in front of him. A tiny, timid Harry Potter sat in an oversized armchair, feet barely dangling off the edge. His hands were folded neatly on his lap, and he looked around the room with obvious wonder, drinking in the magnificent, magical sights that filled the Headmaster's office.

Dumbledore turned his attention to the blonde who sat in a chair like Harry's, looking much less relaxed.

"Fawkes," Dumbledore's piercing blue eyes never left the squirming Malfoy's face. "Please go and inform both Professors McGonagall and Snape that they are needed in my office immediately. Also, tell the others what I've always told you to tell them whenever Harry comes to my office in distress."

Fawkes squawked, obviously understanding Dumbledore's odd order, and left the room with a flamboyant, fiery swoop that Draco was sure was purely for Harry's pleasure. The small boy let out a gasp of wonder, and seemed to restrain himself from clapping.

"That's quite a tale you've told me, Draco." Dumbledore said amusedly. "I'm afraid it is impossible to reverse the jinx with another spell. However, I myself know of several potions that will return Harry to his former self, though none that are quick-fixes. But I wish to wait for Minerva and Severus before I do anything. Being Potions master will give Severus the advantage of knowing potions that I do not."

"Yes, Headmaster." Draco mumbled. He was in _so_ much trouble. He wouldn't be surprised if he were expelled for this. This was it - his only chance to bring glory to the Malfoy name after the War, gone. Gone because he just couldn't leave Potter alone when he saw him crying by himself in an empty stairway. Potter had every right to be miserable and grieving, and Draco just couldn't help himself but to revert to his old ways and make his rival's pain worse than it ever needed to be.

Dumbledore turned back to Harry. "You must be so confused."

Harry blushed and nodded slowly, awed by the noble wizard in front of him. No one was ever this nice to him, and the man in front of him had given him a large bar of something called Honeydukes' Chocolate, which was the most delicious thing Harry had ever tasted. Not to mention it was the first sweet he'd ever had. Harry liked the man in front of him, but he was never any good at making adults like him.

"How old are you, Harry?"

"Seben!" Harry held up six fingers proudly. He frowned at his hands, as if they were playing a trick on him, then a seventh finger slowly joined the other six. "Seben." He repeated, slightly less confident.

Draco nearly fell out of his chair. _Seven_? The boy looked like a tiny four year old, and if anyone said he was five he'd have accused them to be over-exaggerating.

Dumbledore smiled amusedly. "You live with your Aunt and Uncle, correct?" Harry nodded, hands returning to his laps. "And your parents?"

Harry's amazed expression quickly turned to a look of dejection. He played with a stray thread on his robes. He shrugged. "I'm not sup'sed to ask 'bout dem." he mumbled.

Draco was about to say something to Dumbledore about Harry's upbringing when the door opened and both Snape and McGonagall strode in, each looking more livid than the next."HARRY JAMES POTTER!" McGonagall roared. Draco jumped, but Snape just stood there, glaring at him. Did Harry put up with this _dragon_ every time the two of them fought? Great Merlin, if Draco was Potter, he'd've avoided fighting with the other boy if it meant McGonagall would be screaming. Snape would hiss and spit and snarl, but he never yelled unless he was close to loosing it and then you _ran_ and ran _fast_. Draco did _not_ enjoy being screamed at. "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?! MALFOY IS NOT WORTH MY TIME SO IN NO WAY IS HE WORTH YOURS! I'D HAVE THOUGHT DESTROYING THE DARK LORD WOULD GIVE YOU SOME INCENTIVE TO JUST IGNORE THE BOY, THAT THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE THAN THE PETTY REMARKS OF A JEALOUS TEENAGER!" She glared at Dumbledore after doing a quick sweep of the room. "Where is he, Albus?" She snapped. "I have papers to grade and -" She stopped short as Harry's messy head shyly came into view over the back of the chair.

"Why awe you so mad at me?" The child's voice was high, and Draco could see he was shaking. The poor kid must've been terrified at the strangely dressed woman who came in, screaming bloody murder about him. Draco resisted the very unwelcome urge to hold the raven-haired boy and protect him from the enraged witch.

"Great Merlin." She breathed. "Mr. Malfoy, what have you done?"

Even Snape looked worriedly bewildered. "Malfoy," he hissed. "You didn't finish the incantation, did you?" Draco shook his head. "Idiot! How many times must I tell you -"

"Now, now, Severus. Don't blame Draco for this accident, you know as well as I these boys were always fighting before the war, and boys will be boys, war or no. Harry is fine, just eleven years younger." Dumbledore chuckled. "I assume you know a potion to reverse the jinx's effects?"

"I do." Snape said. He smirked. "But it will take four months to brew."

"Four _months_?!" Draco spluttered. "You can't just _fix_ him?!"

"If you hadn't been a fool he wouldn't need fixing." Snape said coldly. He eyed Harry, who shrank back down behind the chair until only his bright eyes, scar, and black hair were visible. Draco might have been imagining things, but he could have sworn he saw Snape's eyes mist over as his gaze swept over the brilliant green of Harry's eyes. "I will go to Knockturn Alley immediately for the ingredients I need, Headmaster. I will begin the potion when I get back." He bowed, then swept out of the room, black robes billowing behind him like a pair of wings.

McGonagall collapsed on a chair that appeared with a small pop as Dumbledore waved his wand lazily. "Great Merlin." She repeated breathlessly. "But…He's eighteen now, he no longer lives with the Dursely's. They won't accept him, anyways, even if he did want to go back. What are we going to do with him? Surely Molly and Arthur Weasley wouldn't mind watching him."

"He shall stay here at Hogwarts." Dumbledore said simply. "I believe that he shall be happier here than anywhere else. Though the Burrow may seem like a second home to him, that is only after he begins his life at Hogwarts, which, in his mind, does not start for another four years. His friends shall take care of him, and I'm sure Hagrid will be more than happy to watch Harry during the school day."

"No!"

The sudden outburst came from Harry, who stood up on his chair. He looked terrified. "I don' know dem! I don' know Hagwid!" Tears formed and threatened to fall from his wide eyes. "I don' wanna be wif dem!"

"Surely you don't want to go back to the Dursely's?" Dumbledore asked gently.

Harry shook his head and bit his bottom lip, He jumped off the chair and ran clumsily over to Draco, hugging his legs tightly.

"Oy!" Draco tried to pry Harry's tiny fingers from his robes, but was unsuccessful.

"I wanna stay wif Dwaco!" Harry cried, before burying his face in Draco's knees.

"No way!" Draco glared ineffectively at the mop of black hair that had attacked his legs. "I've got a life, shorty! I'm not taking care of you!"

"Actually," McGonagall eyes Draco, who had a sudden bad feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Mr. Malfoy _does_ need to be punished for provoking and dueling Potter. It is obvious that detentions simply aren't enough anymore, no matter how many times we send him to the Forbidden Forest or have him clean the hospital wing's bedpans without magic."

Dumbledore nodded in agreement as Draco let out a very un-Malfoyish squeak. "B-but what about Potter?! He set off the first jinx, not me!" He stammered.

"Potter must spend the next four months as a scared, confused, seven-year-old boy who is being taken care of by his school nemesis. I do believe he shall be punished enough." McGonagall said coldly. "Though if I deem it necessary, I will give him detention and a good talking to when he is back to his usual…age." The look on McGonagall's face almost made Draco glad to have to be babysitter for four months rather than sit through a "good talking to" of hers.

Dumbledore clapped his hands. "It's settled, then. Draco, you will watch over Harry and take care of him. If you cannot watch him due to a detention or if during the school day your classes need your full attention, you may leave him with me, or anyone else he feels comfortable with. He shall sleep in the Slytherin dormitories with you as well."

With ever word that came out of Dumbledore's mouth, Draco felt the blood leave his face.

Dumbledore smiled at Draco reassuringly. "Am I understood, Mr. Malfoy?" Draco nodded dumbly, incapable of any other action. Dumbledore looked behind Draco. "Miss Granger? Mr. Weasley? You understand that my orders are final, and unless told otherwise by myself, you will not try to break them?"

Whatever blood was left in Draco's face drained immediately. His eyes widened, and he turned around in his chair quickly, wishing he could just jump out the window and be done with it.

The air next to the door shimmered and suddenly Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley appeared. Draco vaguely recognized the silvery cloak that was clutched in Ron's hands from a picture in a book he'd once read. Both their faces held expressions of pure shock.

_Great Merlin, I am going to die._ He thought as fury replaced shock on the other two-thirds of the Golden Trio.

"You…you slimy little _bastard_!" Ron shouted. He flew across the room and his fist landed on Draco's chin. Draco's neck snapped to the side with a sickening crunch, a noise heard above even McGonagall and Hermione's shocked protests. A high-pitched shriek cut across the room.

"Don' hit Dwaco!" Harry's small fists beat against Ron's legs, coming dangerously close to the redhead's groin. Ron, startled, looked down at his tiny mate.

"Blimey - Harry, don't you know who I am?" He asked, catching Harry's fists in his hands.

"No!" Harry shouted. "Don' cawe! Don' hit Dwaco!" He struggled to free his hands from the older boy's firm, but gentle, grip. His eyes teared up as he got angrier and angrier. "Let go!"

Hermione ran over and shoved Ron away. "Idiot." She snapped. She knelt in front of Harry, who crossed his arms defiantly. "It's okay, Harry. Ron won't hit…_Draco_," She forced out the name with an underlying snarl. "again. I promise."

Harry's lower lip trembled. "Okay." He said quietly. He sent a watery glare towards Ron, but just ended up looking more pitiful than anything else. "Don't hit Dwaco." He said sternly.

Ron held his hands up in defeat. "Alright, alright, I won't hit Malfoy."

"Dwaco!"

"Draco, Draco! I won't hit Draco!" Ron look exasperated. "Blimey, you're a protective little bugger, aren't you? Only problem is you're protecting a bleached git."

Harry scowled, re-crossed his arms and pouted, his lower lip jutting out. Draco watched as Hermione's anger melted away. He touched the spot where Ron had hit him gently, wincing at the burning sensation that shot through his jaw as he brushed his fingers over it. Now two of the Golden Trio had hit him 'cross the face, and he was the first to admit (at least to himself) that he more than probably deserved both of them.

"You are so precious!" Hermione cooed suddenly, before hugging Harry tightly like a teddy bear.

Ron snorted. "If he ever remembers that you called him _precious_…" He let the comment hang.

"Oh, he'll remember everything that happens." Dumbledore said cheerfully. "The potion will allow him to remember every detail of the next four months. When he is returned to his normal body and state of mind, I'm sure he'll have several things to say to all of you. Keep that in mind - he will not stay a seven year old. Once he is eighteen once more, these four months will not just disappear from his mind."

Ron shook his head. "Oh, this is going to be an adventure. I think by the end of this we're going to wish we'd taken on a couple of Death Eaters or something instead. Can't we ever have a normal school year where nothing bad ever happens save a few failing grades?"

Hermione stood up and faced Draco. She bit her lower lip, then held out her hand. "We might as well try to get along while Harry's like this because there is no way Ron and I are going to ignore Harry for the next four months." She rushed out, refusing to meet Draco's eyes.

Draco eyed her hand, then, against his better judgment, shook it briefly. "I will expect help."

"And you'll get it." Ron snapped, then smiled tentatively at Harry, who scowled in return. "Harry'll kill us if we leave him with you for an entire four months. Besides, in four months we'll be graduating. I guess it's a good thing you didn't hex him next month, he'd have to graduate as a seven-year-old."

McGonagall shook her head in awe. "What have you two gotten into this time?" she muttered.

* * *

XD I am amused by McGonagall. She shall be fun to write about. Looks like little Harry has become attached to Draco! :O I am saying this now: ToddlerHarry's little outbursts may be based on my younger cousin's outbursts at times. He once attacked my sister screaming "DON'T HIT CASEY DON'T HIT CASEY!" after she slapped me for stealing some cookie dough. XD It was AWESOME. I love my cousin. :3

I want to say thank you soooo much to everyone who has reviewed or added this story to their Story Alert or added myself to their Author Alert! It really made my day to come home from a (sick) weekend in Florida to over fifty messages in my email inbox, all telling me that I've got reviews and alerts. =^.^= I will try to have chapters three and four up soon. Reviews are loved and shall produce faster and more updates. ;)


	3. New Dorm Mate

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWP - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter 3**

**_New Dorm Mate_**

_Babies are such a nice way to start people_

_- Don Herrold_

* * *

"HE'S LIVING WITH US?!"

Draco groaned at Pansy's startled shriek. By the time Draco and Harry left Dumbledore's office, the entire castle knew about Harry and Draco's predicament. Draco had brought Harry back to the Slytherin common room, considering it was nearly ten o'clock, only to be bombarded with questions as soon as he walked in. He had told the story, sparing no detail, as well as Dumbledore's orders and Weasley's punch, and was now facing his friend's reactions. Harry had taken refuge in Draco's robes, and peered fearfully out from between Draco's legs at Pansy.

"Because I'm so thrilled about the whole situation!" Draco snapped. "This isn't going to be fun for me, if you haven't noticed! And I won't have you being a bitch to him - he doesn't just look like he's a kid, he thinks he's seven right now. He doesn't remember anything since his seventh birthday. Any little thing'll set him off. It's odd, but I don't care because I am _not_ going to deal with a crying Potter." He glanced down to Harry, who had vacated his robes cautiously. "Go ahead, Pans. Keep raising your voice, I'll bet he freaks. He doesn't like yelling."

Pansy growled, but stopped when she felt a sharp tug on her robes. She looked down and was met by a pair of wide, pleading emeralds, nearly hidden behind oversized glasses.

"Pwease don't be mad!" Harry begged. "I a'ways behave an' I don' take up much space an' I don' make messes an' I'll do whatever you want, I pwomise! Just pwease don' be mad at me."

Pansy's features softened. "Ohhhh!" She struggled with herself for a moment, then sank to her knees and hugged the startled boy. "You poor thing! You must be so scared - me going off at Drake like that and everything else that's happened!"

Blaise snorted. "This is still Harry Potter - you know, the git we all hate? The idiot that's been the bane of our existence since we were eleven? The one that saved the world from the Dark Lord? I think he can handle being a kid for a few measly months."

"Blaise, he's a _baby_!"

"I am _not_ a baby!" Harry cried defiantly. "I'm seben!"

Pansy giggled. "That's a baby to me, sugar. Don't worry, tomorrow's Saturday! We can play all day, I promise. I've got all my homework done, so I'll be able to devote every minute to you." She beamed at Harry, who smiled back shyly. He liked the girl much more now that she wasn't yelling. She was nice to him, too.

"Dumbledore wants me to go to Diagon Alley with his godfather for the weekend to get stuff for him. You know - clothes, kid books, stuff he can play with while we're in class and whatever. I've got permission to come back on Monday, so I'll need you to get me the notes from class and homework assignments, alright?" Draco grimaced. "That's my weekend. I'm going clothes shopping for Harry Potter with Sirius Black. This is going to be just brilliant."

"Aren't Granger and Weasley going?" Blaise asked in a bored tone.

"No." Draco nearly gagged. "Dumbledore wants me and Harry to _bond_."

"Since when is he 'Harry'?" Pansy's mouth twitched at the corners, betraying her incoming smile.

"Watch." Draco looked at Harry. "Potter?" he said, the same way he would have said the word _book_.

"My name's Hawwy!" The little boy said angrily, small lines forming over his forehead as he frowned. "Potter's bad - don' call me Potter! My name is _Hawwy_!"

Draco waved his hand at the boy as if to say, _see_?

Pansy frowned. "Why is Potter bad, Pot - er, Harry?" she caught herself. It would take some getting used to, but she knew she'd be able to call him Harry. After all, she may have hated him when he was eleven and older, but he now was an adorable little boy, and she wasn't so mean to others that she'd make such a little toddler upset and cry.

Well. Not a toddler that wasn't her annoying snot of a six-year-old brother, anyway.

"Unca Vewnon says Potter's bad." Harry said, scowling. He had already explained this, hadn't he? Why didn't anyone ever listen to him? He didn't like repeating himself.

"Why does he say Potter's bad?" Came Blaise's question from next to the fireplace. Draco shot him a look. Blaise shrugged. "What? I know you're dying to ask."

Draco sighed, but looked to Harry for the answer. Blaise was right - he _did_ want to know why Harry's uncle was so against his name. "Why does your uncle say Potter's bad, Harry?"

Harry looked to the floor, suddenly fascinated by his shoes. "Cuz my pawents awe Potters." he mumbled, digging his toe into the carpet. "An' my pawents awe good-fow-nufing fweaks."

The common room went completely silent at the little boy's words. The first years who had been whispering about the situation stopped in mid sentence, and the fourth and fifth years who had been trying to hit Draco with spitballs for ever having created said situation in the first place nearly fell over from their precarious place on the edge of the couch. Lily and James Potter? Good-for-nothing freaks? They were heroes, not only for having Harry, but for everything they'd ever done for the Order of the Phoenix against the Dark Lord. Slytherins and their families may have hated the Potters, but they also respected them, and most would grudgingly admit that they were both amazing wizards, even the muggle-born. Never in a million years would any decent member of the Wizarding World call James and Lily Potter good-for-nothing freaks, especially not after the Dark Lord fell for the final time.

Draco got down on his knees in front of Harry, and put his hands on his shoulders. He felt that if he squeezed hard enough, the frail shoulders beneath his hands would shatter. "Harry, look at me."

Harry dragged his eyes away from the floor, somewhat unwillingly.

"I want you to listen to me, Harry, and listen closely." Draco didn't know why he was so angry at this Uncle Vernon of Harry's, but he was going to make sure that the Golden Boy never, _ever_ thought badly of his parents again. "I don't know your uncle, and I'm glad I don't, because if I ever met him I think I'd punch his lights out a few times. I don't care what he's told you about your parents, you will listen to me. I've never met your parents, and I won't pretend to know them. But everyone knows that they were noble people. Nearly everyone liked them, and would have done anything for them, even _die_ for them. They were heroes, and if I ever hear you refer to them as good-for-nothing freaks again, I'll make you sleep in Hagrid's hut, with that big, scary dog I told you about, Fang. Do you understand me?"

Harry nodded, and sniffed quietly. He didn't want to look at Draco, he sounded so angry.

"Look at me." Draco's voice dripped with command and no tolerance for insubordination. It was a tone every Slytherin knew damn well, and they all knew better than to ignore it. Even young Harry seemed to know not to ignore Draco, and he reluctantly looked into the Slytherin's eyes.

Somewhere, in the back of Harry's mind, a small voice told him that he knew those beautiful icy blue eyes. Harry had thought that they were grey, but upon closer inspection, he realized that they were a perfect shade of a silvery blue. He also realized that it wasn't him that Draco was mad at.

"My pawents were hewoes?" he asked quietly. Draco nodded slowly, his stern gaze softening ever so slightly. A minute passed, and then a slow grin of pure, unadulterated bliss spread across Harry's small features. "I knew it!" he cried out happily, before sitting down and grinning up at the three teenagers around him. "I knew it." he repeated, before yawning widely.

Pansy giggled. "Aw, it looks like you tired him out with your big macho speech, Drake."

Draco shook his head. Trust Pansy to turn such a monumental moment into something to giggle about. "Let's go, Harry." He picked the small boy up off the ground. "Time for bed."

"But I'm not s-sweepy." Harry yawned again, and lay his head down on Draco's shoulder.

"Aww!" Pansy squealed. "Oh, Drake, you're gonna make such a good daddy one day!"

"Where's he sleeping?" Blaise piped up. "Better not be in the dormitories."

"No, I'm the eldest, wealthiest Slytherin Prefect for a reason." Draco snapped. "I've got my own private room, remember? He'll sleep with me in there."

Draco felt his stomach flutter as Harry's tiny arms made their way around his neck and hung there. He felt the toddler's breathing slow, and he knew he was falling asleep rapidly.

Pansy squealed again. "He's so sweet!" she cooed. "How could we ever hate him?" She brushed his over-grown fringe out of his eyes, revealing The Scar. It was more defined than it was when he was older. Or maybe it just looked so much bigger and more daunting on such a small face. Pansy's breath caught as she saw the lightning bolt, and she carefully traced it with a finger.

"I've always wanted to see it up close." she confessed quietly. "But I never had the courage to try, and I knew he'd never let me if I asked. He looks so peaceful." She cleared her throat. "How could anyone try to hurt a baby that's even younger than him?"

Draco followed Pansy's gaze to the now sleeping Harry's face. "Everyone was peaceful and sweet at some point in their lives, Pans." he said quietly. "Just look at me."

He turned away quickly so he didn't have to look at Pansy's pitying expression. He crept up the stairs, careful not to jostle the sleeping child in his arms. Pushing his door open, he entered his room and locked the door behind him.

Draco laid Harry down on his bed on his back, and took the monstrous robes off of him. The Golden Boy was still drowning in his school uniform, and Draco sighed for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day. Blushing slightly for a reason he refused to acknowledge, he removed Harry's pants and shirt, exposing the tiny chest but leaving him in his boxers which, gratefully, clung to his hips. Digging through his closet, Draco found a shirt that was a bit small on him, and dragged it over Harry's head. It still reached the small boy's knees, but it would work just fine until tomorrow.

He picked Harry up bridal-style, and put him under covers. The instant Harry's head hit the pillow, he turned and curled up on his side, his shirt riding up to expose his naked back to the Malfoy heir. Draco's breath caught in his throat, and he almost choked.

Harry's back held four very distinguished, very swollen scars, running diagonally from his right shoulder to his left hip. They were fiercely knotted, vivid red in color, and inflamed. Draco's sight went white with fury as he realized that the only way the seven year old, non-wizard version of Harry Potter had gotten injured in such a way was if _someone_, like this precious Uncle Vernon, had caused them. As Draco studied the scars, he found himself running his fingers over his belt. He quickly glanced down to his belt, then back to Harry's back, making the connection. His blood boiled, and he nearly screamed in anger, then turned on his heel and swept towards the door.

His own magic was so infuriated that it opened the door for him, and closed it quietly behind him as he stormed down the stairs into the common room, to avoid waking the sleeping seven-year-old. He nearly ripped his belt off and flung it to the ground, the buckle striking the floor with a loud echo. Pansy and Blaise both looked up, startled. They had cleared the room while Draco brought Harry up to his room, figuring that the other years could talk all they wanted in their own dormitories without crowding the common room.

"Drake?" Pansy asked. "Draco, what's-"

"What is that?" Draco seethed, pointing to the belt he had so viciously removed.

Blaise looked at him as if he had two heads. "That's a belt, Draco." he said slowly, as if explaining this to a three year old.

"And what's it used for?""It holds your pants up." Pansy got up, a bewildered look on her face. "Draco, are you oka-"

"What is the _last_ thing that you do with it?" Draco answered his own shouted question before either of his friends could answer. "_Hit a child._" He hissed.

Pansy gasped, and looked up the stairs in the direction of Draco's room. "No!"

Even Blaise looked angered. "You're kidding me."

"That bastard, Vernon or whatever his name is." Draco spat. "He tells Harry his parents are good for nothing freaks, he allows this kid Dudley to use Harry as his own personal punching bag, he makes him sleep in a _cupboard_, and then he-he-" Draco was so angry he couldn't speak. Letting out a frustrated bellow, he swept an arm across the table, knocking over various bottles of ink.

"Does he have…?" Pansy couldn't speak.

"Four scars. From his hip to his shoulder." Draco shook, his nails biting into his palm. Even his own father, though he may have spanked Draco a few too many times for his liking, never once used an object other than his bare palm to strike his son. Never once did his father hit him across the face; only ever on his small bottom, and sometimes a smack to the back of the head. And his father was a bloody Death Eater. "They're deep and look incredibly painful."

Pansy placed a hand over her mouth in horror, then composed herself to the Slytherin Ice Queen the school knew so well. "Well then you know what we have to do." she sneered icily.

Blaise grinned maliciously. "Let's show this Muggle his proper place." Blaise hated people who abused children. He thought them lower than Mudbloods, and found a sadistic pleasure in bringing them down. "What's the plan?"

Draco sneered. "We'll make him know our names. We'll show him what wizards can do. We'll show him every goddamned reason that he should fear the wrath of a Slytherin." His voice shook with the anger he was struggling to control. Pansy and Blaise watched as a few objects around Draco lifted and were shattered against walls and the floor. The fire flared dangerously, causing the homework a first year left too close to the gate to catch flame. They had never seen Draco so out of control that his magic went wild like that. "And I'm sure Black will have _no_ problem helping get back at the slime who treated his godson like that for nearly sixteen years of his life."

* * *

I am so melodramatic sometimes. XD I'm sorry, I couldn't resist! I had to do SOMETHING twisted to the story - it's no fun if it's just happy. :3 So yes, Draco's a little OOC in this chapter, but I promise he gets back to normal in the next few chapters. But he's only OOC cuz he's tired and overwhelmed and just plain unhappy. XD So, yeah, little messed up.

I personally love Blaise and Pansy, I think they (with Draco) make up the Sneaky Slytherin Trio. It's amusing to write their characters, I hope I don't butcher them too badly.

Reviews get quick updates!


	4. Black Heart of Gryffindor

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**Warnings**: This is PWP - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Four**

**_Black Heart of Gryffindor_**

_A baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it._

_- Frank A. Clark_

* * *

Draco sat outside the castle's gates, his back against the iron bars, watching Harry as he played with Fawkes. He was grateful that Dumbledore managed to find a shirt and pair of shorts small enough to fit the boy. Now he didn't have to carry him everywhere, though the shorts reached Harry's ankles and the shirt seemed to swallow the boy's undersized frame, hiding the scars that marred his back.

Draco sighed, blowing a strand of hair out of his eyes. Dumbledore said Sirius Black would meet him here at ten. It was now ten-fifteen and Draco was nervous. He knew Black was a relative of his - his mother's cousin or something - but he had never actually met the man. He also knew Black had been cleared, but he was still an intimidating figure. After all, he managed to stay sane after twelve years in Azkaban, and he was able to hide from the Ministry of Magic for two - no one who was a push-over who didn't take risks could do that.

"What have you done to him?" A lazy voice floated over his shoulder.

Draco muffled a scream as he toppled over, startled by the sudden sound. A tall, pale man with long black hair stood behind him, looking like a prisoner again as he leaned against the black bars. His eyes, though sparkling, were hidden in the shadows of his hair. He shook his head.

"Great Merlin." he laughed, before opening the gates to stand next to Draco. "I never thought I'd see him as a kid." Love and astonishment were laced in the man's tone.

"You're Sirius Black?" Draco said, standing up and recomposing himself.

The man nodded, eyes never leaving Harry. "Yeah. Draco Malfoy, I presume?"

"Babysitter of the year." Draco muttered. "Harry! Your godfather's here! We gotta go!" he called, getting the young boy's attention.

Harry stopped playing, and waved good-bye as Fawkes left in a swirl of red and gold feathers. He came over shyly, and hid behind Draco's legs. Draco groaned.

"Stop being so damned shy, you little crybaby."

Harry clung to Draco's leg as the scary man in front of him knelt down. The man smiled, which Harry thought made him look much less scary, and held out his hand. "I'm Sirius, Harry. I'm your godfather."

Harry pushed his too-large glasses up his nose, and watched Sirius's hand wearily. Then, slowly, he reached out and took Sirius's hand. His tiny fingers barely managed to fit around Sirius's palm.

"Hi." he said quietly.

Sirius's grin broadened, and he ruffled Harry's hair with his free hand. Standing, he told Draco to pick Harry up. Draco obliged, and Harry's arms automatically locked around Draco's neck.

"How are we getting to the Muggle stores?" he asked, shifting Harry so that he sat comfortably on Draco's hip, just like the night before. Instead of his normal robes, Draco wore a pair of Muggle jeans and a dark green button-up shirt, just as Sirius had told Dumbledore he should wear, to blend in. Sirius himself wore a pair of dark jeans, a loose black tee shirt, and a blazer.

Sirius grinned wolfishly, and Draco felt the sinking sensation in his stomach that he was beginning to think would become familiar. "Apparation."

Draco paled. He didn't like Apparation, it made him feel like throwing up. "But I don't know where we're going."

"Side-Along, then." Sirius grabbed Draco's free arm. "Hold onto Harry tightly."

Draco barely had time to nod before he felt the usual sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach. However, instead of lasting only a second, it seemed to last almost an entire minute. The world spun faster and faster, and soon he was in the middle of a tight alley. Harry's arms tightened around his neck, and he realized the small boy was crying. He automatically rubbed the raven's back soothingly, blood searing as his hand passed over the scars. "Sirius?" he called.

"Right here." Sirius appeared by Draco's right. "You alright, Harry?" he asked kindly.

Harry shook his head. "Don'-don' like dat!" he gasped, rubbing his eyes with his hand. His glasses fell as he pushed them up, and Sirius caught them before they hit the ground.

"I'm sorry, little buddy. I promise, we won't do that again." He put Harry's glasses on, and blinked owlishly. "Bloody hell kid, have you always been blind?"

Harry let out a watery giggle, and sniffed. He took his glasses back and shoved them back on his nose. "I am wifout dem." He wriggled in Draco's arms. "Put me down!"

Draco fought the urge to drop him and set him down on his feet. Harry grinned up at him and slid his hand into Draco's. Draco felt his stomach flutter with an emotion he wasn't familiar with.

"Isn't that adorable." Sirius laughed. "Looks like Harry's pretty attached to you."

Draco grunted in a very un-Malfoy-like manner. "Shut up."

"Well I think it's _sweet_." Sirius drawled sarcastically. "Come on, the store's this way."

Draco followed Sirius out of the alleyway, pulling Harry behind him, and stopped dead at the mouth of the alley. "Great Merlin!" He gasped. "Where are we?"

Sirius grinned that wolf-like grin of his. "Welcome to the greatest city in the world," he said dramatically, sweeping his arm around in a half-circle. "Manhattan, New York City."

"New _York_?" Draco's mouth fell open. "The United States? You-you Apparated us across the bloody _Atlantic_?! Is that even _possible_?"

"Apparently. I did it, didn't I?" Sirius smirked. "It's buggering hard, but I've gotten pretty good at it. I was teaching Harry, before you turned him into a tiny tot."

Harry's eyes were wide with amazement, mouth open slightly as he looked to the sky. Buildings stretched up high as mountains, and every way he turned his head there were people and structures. Draco's face mirrored a slightly less amazed expression. He had been to London before, and even to Paris a few times, he knew what Muggle cities look like. But New York City made them almost pale in comparison. The sheer volume of people, the yellow taxis that lined up one after another, the buildings that never ended, all of it - it was amazing. It was not the most beautiful city in the world, but it was certainly one of the most intimidating.

"I feel so small…" Draco whispered, completely awed.

"Don't keep standing there." Sirius was suddenly on his guard, pulling Draco out of his awed dream-like state. "Look, you take such good care of yourself people'll know you've got money, Harry makes you vulnerable to hostage situations, and you're obviously fresh meat." Sirius tugged on Draco's arm, pulling him after him. "Keep your head down, don't look like such a tourist, and for Merlin's sake, _pick Harry up_! Do _not_ set him down until we are in the store, and hold onto him as tightly as you possibly can."

Draco raised an eyebrow, but obediently picked Harry up again. Harry protested weakly, but quieted down as he reached up to play with the leaves on the small trees planted every few meters as the men passed beneath them. "Why are you suddenly so paranoid? I thought Mad-Eye Moody was bad, but you're making him pale in comparison."

"You've never been to New York, it shows. This isn't the friendliest neighborhood, but it's the only place I know well enough to Apparate to." Sirius eyed a group of young men on a street corner. They let out a bunch of wolf-whistles, and it took Draco a few seconds to realize that they were directed at him. His ears went red, and a blush crept up his neck.

"Fuck off." Sirius snarled at the boys.

"Then why'd you Apparate us here?" Draco hissed, pulling Harry just a little tighter against his body.

"No one reports anything weird here, and it's the part of the city I know best." Sirius hissed back. "Whatever you do, do _not_ pull your wand."

"Wha-?" Before Draco could ask the question, Sirius had turned on his heel.

"I said, fuck_. Off_." he snarled.

Draco turned as well. The men who had whistled at Draco hadn't left as Sirius had instructed, and were now smirking as they created a semicircle around the three wizards. Harry let out a small whimper, and pressed his face into Draco's neck. Draco's eyes darted from one to another. There were four of them, and all of them looked older and sturdier than Draco was. He had another bad feeling in his stomach, and knew by now to trust those feelings.

"Why you gotta be like dat?" The leader stepped forward. He wore a white wife beater, four heavy gold chains, and a pair of faded blue denim jeans that hung around his knees. He was Italian, but he spoke with a heavy accent that Draco couldn't place. The boys surrounding their leader howled in agreement, in the same accent. Sirius, however, knew exactly where the boys were from.

"What are a bunch of Guido's from Brooklyn doing in Manhattan?" Sirius crossed his arms, and jut his chin out.

"Watch yo mouth, ya goddamn cracker." The boy snapped. "You ain't got no right to be talkin' ta me like dat!"

"I'm not going to say it again." Sirius said coldly. "_Fuck. Off_."

"An' let you get 'way wit dat pretty thang?" The boy smirked. "Don' think so."

"Come on, Tony, kick their asses!" A boy with a goatee stepped forward, a pocket knife snapping open in his hand. "Blondey's comin' wif us." he said to Sirius.

Sirius snarled, and pushed Draco behind him. "Not a chance."

"Watch out, Brit," The dark haired boy, obviously Tony, snarled. "We'll jack up yo ass."

"I'd like to see you lot try." Sirius's gaze swept over the four boys, his stance lazy but his glare sharp and alert.

All four boys smirked, looking at each other as if to say, 'I'd like to see him try.' Tony and the two boys who had been observing all reached into their pockets, and dragged out large switchblades. They snapped them open, the blades glinting maliciously in the light.

Sirius's eyes widened dramatically, and then they rolled. He opened the right side of his blazer and showed the boys something that Draco couldn't see. Automatically, the boys' hands went up in a defensive position.

"Whoa, man, we don' mean nuthin from it." Tony said, taking a step back. "Jus' some fun, ya know?"

"Yeah," A boy with dreadlocks nervously looked around. "We'll leave ya, right, Tony?"

Tony nodded, and tried to regain himself. "But if we evah see you 'round he'e again…" he let the useless threat hang.

Sirius rolled his eyes again, then turned, grabbed the arm that held a petrified Harry, and began dragging Draco away. He looked over his shoulder once, eyes glinting dangerously. "If _I_ ever see _you_ around here again, you'll wish I hadn't."

The boys snarled, but backed off. They ran off, leaving Sirius dragging a bewildered - and slightly scared - Draco.

"What the hell was that?!" Draco gasped, jogging to keep up with Sirius's increasing pace.

"Some punks that think they own the place." Sirius growled. "I've made a few friends in this neighborhood, been helping out a single mother of four, three of which are under ten. The father was killed in a drive-by a couple of months ago, and those damn Guido's aren't gonna leave her alone, she's too pretty. They think they can take over this neighborhood now, and I need to make it known that I'm not gonna let that happen."

"You really seem to care about this woman." Draco raised an eyebrow.

Sirius looked at his cousin out of the corner of his eye. "Is it a crime to want to make a neighborhood safe for a group of kids and their mum?"

"I suppose not." Draco shifted Harry, and tightened his hold on him. "It's just such a Gryffindor thing to do."

"Yeah, well I'm the Black heart of Gryffindor, aren't I. It has the tendency to show on occasion."

Draco allowed himself to be dragged along the streets, the buildings growing noticeably nicer. Harry pressed his cheek to the crook of Draco's neck, the seemingly endless buildings reflected in his glasses.

"What was that you showed them?" Draco asked a few moments later. "Why'd they bugger off? They each had knives, and they outnumbered us."

"Keep your voice down." Sirius said. He made a left, dragging Draco into a tall, elegant building. "We're not in a bad part of town anymore, people report things here. I'll explain later at the hotel, but for now, let's just find Harry some things to wear, eh?"

"Fine." Draco said. "But I'm not letting this go."

Sirius nodded. "To be expected, especially from a Malfoy." He smiled at the lady behind the front desk.

"May I help you?" She asked, not looking up from her computer. She continued to tak away at her keyboard, her eyeglasses reflecting her computer screen.

"Can you direct us to the clothes department?" Sirius asked politely.

The secretaries eyes flickered from her screen to Sirius, taking in his appearance. Draco watched her lips curl into a sneer well-known by all Slytherins, and narrowed his eyes, before stepping forward.

"As you can see," Draco held his chin high, rearranging his features into his best _You're-My-Bitch-So-Get-On-Your-Knees_ Malfoy sneer. "My cousin here is in dire need of a readjustment to his wardrobe."

The secretary turned her gaze to meet Draco's, and her sneer faltered. "Third floor, right door." she said, turning her attention back to the computer. "I take it you want clothing for the child as well?"

Draco nodded coldly. "If you would be so kind."

"Same floor, but to the left."

"Thank you." Draco turned on his heel. "Come now, _Cousin_. We mustn't be too long, we do have more important things to be doing that shopping in this…" he looked around. "_place_."

Shoulders back, and head high, Draco spun on his heel and walked briskly towards the elevators. Sirius caught up to him, laughing at the expression on the secretary's face.

"It's a Malfoy thing." Draco scowled. "I don't like it when people act as if their better than me, _especially_ when I am their superior."

Sirius snorted, still clearly amused. "That's a _Black_ thing, kid. That's Cissy comin out in you. If I had acted the way my dearest Mum had raised me to, that girl'd've been licking my bits and pieces in the store window, and considering it a privilege to be doing so."

Draco balked at the man's vulgarity. "Well isn't that a lovely image of the infamous Sirius Black." He eyed the elevator doors warily. "Would you mind if -"

"Stairs are thataway," Sirius steered Draco to the left of the elevators. "I don't like those things much, either."

* * *

I live an hour north of New York City. :D I love it, it's amazing. And yes, people really act like that from Brooklyn. It's sad, and it's not EVERYONE, but I know a group of people like that down in the city, and they're really, really irritating. But all Daddy has to do is act like Sirius and BAM! Bye-bye creeps.

I want to say thank you to EVERYONE who has reviewed or added this to their story alerts/story favorites. 3 You've all made my day and I love you all so much!!!

And a special thanks to _Books._ - She pointed out to me that Harry is, in fact, _not_ a toddler. Toddlers are between the ages of 2 and 4, not seven. I will refrain from using 'toddler' to describe Harry in the future, and I hope that no one else is offended by my describing Harry as a toddler. :)


	5. Be Your Best Friend

**Disclaimer:** Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWP - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Five**

**_Be Your Best Friend_**

_A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, night longer, bankrolls smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for._

_~ Anonymous_

"Hey, Black?" Draco panted. Normally he'd take the stairs two and a time and not even be winded, but those Muggle stairs were unnaturally steep, and Harry was still on his hip. Small as the child was, he was still dead weight to carry, even if it wasn't very uncomfortable. A very quiet piece of dead weight, however. The boy hadn't said anything in a while, just rested his head on Draco's shoulder with his thumb in his mouth as he took in his surroundings.

"Hmm?" Sirius waited patiently on the landing above Draco, and leaned over the rail to gaze down at his younger cousin.

"Have you…ever seen Harry's back?" Draco asked cautiously. If the answer was _no_, it was impossible to tell how the ex-convict would react.

"No." Sirius narrowed his eyes. "I take it I'm going to find out why?"

Draco reached the landing and set Harry down on his feet. Harry looked down, finding the floor very intriguing, a frown marking his brow.

"Harry?" Draco asked carefully. "Can I show your Godfather what I asked you about this morning?"

Harry's lower lip began to tremble.

"Nothing bad's going to happen." Draco promised. "I just want to show him is all."

Still refusing to look up, Harry nodded slowly, before turning to show his back to Sirius. Draco gingerly lifted the shirt up a few inches, revealing the bottom of the scars. Sirius hissed dangerously, his black eyes darkened further with fury.

"Dursley?" he spat, not trusting himself to be careful enough to actually touch the swollen marks.

"That would be my guess." Draco brought the shirt back down and Harry fled into his chest. Draco gathered him up again, sighing as Harry buried his face into the blonde's neck. "I figured it'd be best if you didn't find out while he was changing or something."

"Smart move." Sirius muttered. He released his grip from the rail, not noticing the small dents he left behind. "So what's the plan for Dursley?"

"What makes you think I have a plan?" Draco's silver eyes glinted dangerously, though his tone was flippant.

"I grew up in a house of Slytherins," was Sirius' answer. "I'll repeat - what's the plan? I want in."

Draco smirked maliciously, then began filling Sirius in on what he and his friends had come up with so far.

* * *

Much American Muggle money, ten bags, and nearly twelve hours later, Draco collapsed onto the couch in the hotel room Sirius had reserved for the weekend. It was a pretty fancy hotel - the rooms came equipped with a master bedroom with a king-sized bed, a smaller bedroom with two twin beds, a small living room, and a full kitchen and bathroom - and Draco couldn't wait to take a bubble bath in the Jacuzzi-sized tub after a very long night's sleep.

"Dwaco wake up!" Harry bounced onto the couch next to Draco, sitting on his knees next to Draco's head. "Wake up an' play with me!"

"Go away you stubborn, annoying, loud, little bite-sized Potter." Draco groaned.

Harry pouted cutely and crawled onto Draco's stomach. "Play with me!"

Draco shoved him off his stomach and was satisfied with the thud he heard as Harry topple off the side of the couch.

"That wasn't nice." Sirius snickered, lounging on one of the chairs.

"I don't care, I'm tired." Draco curled into a ball on the couch, hugging a pillow to his chest.

"Then you're in for a hell of a weekend. Harry's a night owl."

"Brilliant. You play with him, then." Draco sighed, content. Sirius hadn't allowed him to put Harry down whenever they went out of any of the multiple stores they visited, and hauling Harry around all day had tired him out. His back was beginning to ache.

"But I wanna play with you, Dwaco!" Harry was back on the couch, not deterred by the blonde's first reaction.

Draco scowled at the bundle of energy that _would not _fall asleep. "My back hurts. Play with Sirius, I don't care! Just leave me the hell alone!"

Harry's lower lip trembled, eyes welling up. "Okay." he said sadly. He climbed off the couch, looking like a kicked puppy.

"Hey, I'm not that bad, am I?" Sirius placed a hand over his heart in mock-hurt. "Oh, Harry, you're killing me! You must hate me!"

Harry smiled shyly. "I don' hate you."

Sirius grinned, then picked Harry up under his arms and swung him around in a circle. "Well then prove it, kiddo!"

Draco watched them destroy the beautiful hotel suite as they ran around, attacking each other with pillows and cushions. Harry shrieked and yelled, dodging Sirius' grasping hands with professional accuracy. It didn't escape Draco's notice that the reason Harry was so fast was because of Dudley, whom Sirius had informed the blonde was Harry's cousin.

After an hour or so of vicious play, Harry began to tire out. He tripped over the corner of the carpet, and face-planted. He stayed on the ground, panting happily. Sirius pounced on him like a wolf onto its prey, pinning the small boy beneath him.

"Aha!" Sirius bellowed, face flushed with the rush of adrenaline that came from playing with the small boy. "I've got you now, you little runt! You aren't going anywhere!"

He then proceeded to flip Harry onto his back, holding his hands above his head.

"Do you know what I'm gonna do to you now?" Sirius asked, eyes gleaming.

Draco moved on the couch so that his chin rested on the armrest, watching the two in front of him with a strange sense of yearning. His father had never played with him the way the Sirius was rolling around and rough-housing with the young boy, and he had a feeling that Harry had never had any one to play with, either. It looked like fun.

"No!" Harry shrieked gleefully as Sirius began blowing raspberries on his stomach. "No, no, no! Stop!"

Sirius laughed as Harry tried to pull at his hair, failing because his arms were too short, allowing Sirius to dodge them quite easily. He then pinned the small boy's legs down with his own and ticked Harry's stomach, pulling shrieks of laughter out of his mouth. He only stopped after Harry was unable to scream _no _from panting too hard, and fell next to Harry, breathing as heavily as he would have if he had run a marathon.

"You'd have made a good father." Draco observed.

"Ah, I just knew he's ticklish. Extremely so, actually." Sirius grinned. "He was terrified when I found out, you should have seen him run whenever I came close to him."

"Harry met you when he was thirteen." Draco raised an eyebrow.

"I know." Sirius laughed. "That's what made it so funny to watch him bolt. There he was - the sixteen-year-old Chosen one - running from his evil, tickling godfather."

Harry poked Sirius in the side, who let out a yelp. "Dat was mean!" he gasped, putting his head on Sirius' stomach. "Don' like dat!" The huge grin on his face contradicted his statement.

Sirius sniggered. "Come on, kiddo, time for bed." He picked Harry up, and sniffed under the little boy's arms. "Phew!" He pulled his head away, over-exaggerating the supposed stench coming from Harry's armpits. "You need a bath, little boy."

Harry made a face. "Aww, do I have to?"

"Yes." Sirius said simply. "Then we can put you in those cool new pajamas we bought you. You," he addressed Draco, who raised his head lazily. "Dumbledore wants Harry to sleep by you, so do you want the king bed or the two twins?"

"Twins," Draco said immediately, not wanting to spend another night sleeping next to Harry.

"Alright." Sirius disappeared into the bathroom with Harry and one of the bags from their shopping spree. "Get them set up so I can put him to bed after his bath?"

"Fine." Draco dragged himself off of the couch as he heard the water begin to fill the tub. He set up the beds, throwing aside all the fancy pillows save one. He then quickly stripped down to his boxers and threw on the t-shirt and pajama bottoms he had brought with him. Deciding that Sirius was more than capable of tucking Harry into bed, Draco crawled into the bed by the window, ready for a long and much needed sleep.

He was vaguely aware of Sirius coming quietly into the room about fifteen minutes later. But the last thing Draco wanted to do was help put Harry to sleep, so he pretended he was already dead to the world. Whether or not Sirius knew he was faking, he was left alone, and Sirius soon left the room. Draco fell asleep quickly after, feeling oddly relived that Harry was close to him again.

* * *

It must have been about midnight when a clap of thunder woke Draco up. Blearily, he looked out the window and saw that it was pouring. A streak of lightning went across the sky, lighting up the towers of the foreign city.

A small whimper came from Harry's side of the room. Draco shut his eyes tightly, trying to fall back asleep as quickly as possible. However, when he heard another whimper, he knew he had to help.

With a groan, he swung his legs out of bed and walked over to Harry's bed. He crouched by the head of the bed, placing a hand on Harry's shoulder. Harry's back was to him, shaking slightly as he tried to bury himself under the pillow.

"Harry?" Draco asked softly. "Are you okay?"

Harry shook his head. "Don' like it." he whimpered as a another clap of thunder resounded through the city.

Draco closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip, running through what he should do. He could always just send Harry to his godfather - surely Sirius wouldn't have a problem comforting the boy. But it was sure to rain again at Hogwarts, especially since it was just about the spring, and Draco had a feeling he would need to learn how to deal with the fears of the great Harry Potter. Grumbling to himself, he stood up.

"Move over, Harry." he said, not unkindly. Harry hurriedly scooted over, giving Draco more than enough room. Draco climbed into the bed, his back facing Harry. "I'll sleep with you tonight, but don't get too used to it. I'm not going to do this often."

_Not at all, if I can help it,_ he thought to himself.

Draco nearly fell out of the bed when he felt Harry's tiny arms wrap themselves around his waist. Harry pressed his face into Draco's back, and whimpered again as the sky roared. Surprised, Draco turned around and allowed Harry to bury himself in his chest.

"Great Merlin, you're going to hate yourself when you're back to normal." Draco told Harry. "I want you to remember that I'm not doing this willingly."

"Don' care." Harry mumbled sleepily. He seemed much more content now that he had someone to hug and fell back asleep quickly, despite the storm.

Draco hesitated, then put one arm over Harry's shoulders. He folded his other arm under his head, creating a makeshift pillow. He hoped that when Sirius found them the next morning, he wouldn't think anything too terrible before Draco got the chance to explain.

* * *

When Draco awoke for the second time, he found himself alone, surrounded by cold sheets. He heard laughter coming from the kitchen and figured that Sirius was cooking breakfast for Harry. Groaning, Draco dragged himself out of bed, through he would have much preferred to stay buried under the warm covers.

"Good morning," Sirius said brightly as Draco stumbled into the kitchen area.

"That's an oxymoron." Draco snapped, dropping into a chair at the table.

"Hihi, Dwaco!" Harry chirped. He was standing on a chair in front of the counter, beating a mess of ingredients in a bowl into submission. He was covered nearly hear to toe in flour.

Draco glared half-heartedly at the kid, and Sirius laughed. "I swear, this boy doesn't need more that three hours of sleep and he's good for the day. A night owl and a morning person, is there a deadlier combination?"

"How about a stupider one?" Draco muttered.

Sirius barked out a laugh. "He's still a morning person when he's eighteen. Up at the bloody crack of dawn every day."

"I don't care." Draco folded his arms on the table and decided they'd make a good enough pillow. "I won't be hanging out with him when he's back to normal."

He missed the look Sirius gave him - a mix of annoyance and pity.

"Who knows? You may grow to actually _like_ him." Sirius said. He took the bowl from Harry and set the boy on the ground. Harry sat on the floor where he was, watching the adults. This time Draco didn't miss the pout on his face.

"He's only a tosser around you, you know." Sirius continued, using a ladle to pour the batter onto the pan on the stove. "I don't think anyone's ever been able to get under his skin the way you do."

"Well, aren't I bloody special?" Draco mumbled into his arm.

"I think you are." Sirius said, more to himself than to Draco.

Draco ignored him. "What time is it?"

"Eight-thirty."

"Oh, _Merlin_!" Draco moaned. "How can you _function_ at this ungodly hour?"

"Caffeine." Sirius motioned to his cup of tea. "Would you like some?"

Draco shook his head. "Tea is terrible."

"Then you're on your own."

"Oh _thank_ you _so_ very much." Draco said dryly.

"You're so very welcome."

Draco buried his face further into the crook of his arm, ready to fall asleep on the table. He lifted his head a minute fraction when Harry tugged on his pajamas leg. "What?" He growled sleepily.

"You don' like me?" Harry asked quietly, biting his lip. He sniffed quietly, but kept his eyes on Draco.

"What makes you think that?" Draco asked, wincing mentally.

"You said you din't wanna play with me when I'm older. An' Siwius said you _might_ grow t'like me." Harry seemed to shrink as he stared at Draco with impossibly wide eyes. He _knew_ that it wouldn't last long - no one ever liked him very much, or for very long. Why should magic people be any different?

"You aren't supposed to understand that, you're just a little kid." Draco said, sitting up. He caught Sirius' eye, who looked equally confused as to how Harry seemed to understand what was going on perfectly well.

Harry scowled. "Jus' cuz I'm _little_ don' mean I'm _stupid_." He turned on his heel and fled into Sirius' room. The Slytherin heard the click of the door as it locked and he let out a frustrated shout. Even Sirius looked mildly shocked.

"Well. Looks like he's pretty smart." Sirius said. "Well, go on, then! Go talk to him! _I'm _certainly not carrying him all day." He propelled Draco to the bedroom door. "I'll have breakfast ready _only_ when you're done and he's not mad at you."

Draco muttered under his breath as he used his wand to unlock the door. He entered the master bedroom, closing the door behind him.

"Harry?"

A small bulge under the covers of Sirius' bed shifted. Draco sighed and sat cross-legged on the bed.

"Harry, come on. Get out from there. Sirius is making breakfast." he coaxed, pulling the covers from over the boy.

"No!" Harry shouted, yanking the comforter back over his head. "Go away! I don' like you, neither!"

Draco didn't know why the cried words of a seven-year-old hurt so much. Ignoring the pang in his stomach, he pulled the covers off Harry and deposited them on the floor.

"It's not that I don't like you, Harry." he said. "I just…well, you see…Aw, forget it, you won't understand." He finished angrily.

"Says who?" Harry asked stubbornly. He sniffed again, rubbing his eyes beneath his glasses.

"You're too young." Draco tried to ignore the gut-wrenching twisting his innards did when he realized he made the seven-year-old cry.

"No I'm not." Harry mumbled, sending a watery glare towards the blonde.

Said blonde ran a frustrated hand through his hair. "Fine. I'll…I'll try to explain, okay? You know how your godfather and I are wizards?" Harry nodded. "Well, so are you. You're actually eighteen, not seven. You and I got into a fight and one of my spells went wrong, so you turned into your seven-year-old self. Now I have to take care of you and I'll admit it - I'm not looking forward to that job."

"I'm eighteen?" Harry stopped wiping his eyes, glasses dangling precariously on his nose. His look of disbelief wasn't as strong as Draco thought it would have been.

"Not anymore. But Uncle Sev's brewing a potion that will turn you back to normal. However, it takes four months." Draco shifted his weight, putting one leg out straight and keeping the other bent. "Are you following _any_ of this?"

Harry nodded slowly, but he was still frowning. "You an' me were fighting. I got hit wif something dat tuwned me inta a little kid. I don' 'member bein a big kid, though. But…why were we fighting?"

Draco winced. "I was being a ponce."

"A what?"

"Er, a bully. I was picking on you."

"Why?"

Draco fidgeted uncomfortably. "Um…well, you see, when you're eighteen you don't like me very much, and I don't like you much, either. We're school enemies, actually. When people hear fighting, they automatically think of us. So whenever we see each other, we usually just hurl insults until someone gets bored or we start a duel."

"Oh." Harry dropped his eyes to the bed, eyes welling up again.

"Why are you crying? Just because _I_ don't like you doesn't mean you don't have other people who _do_."

"No one likes me." The words came quietly, but with the cold tone of acceptance of someone who already knows their place in the world.

"What?" Draco highly doubted that. _Everyone_ worshiped the ground Harry walked on. "Surely you've got friend back with your Aunt and Uncle."

Harry shook his head, voice shaking as he spoke. "Dudley likes to pick on me. Other kids don' play wif me cuz dey'll get beat up. An' adults don' like me, either.."

"Everyone likes you." Draco argued.

"Not at home." Harry's voice and he began to cry. "An-an' no one likes me here, neither!"

"That's not true!" Draco said frantically. _Bollocks bollocks bollocks bollocks._ he chanted. He was shite at consoling people, especially little kids. Their logic was so off that anything he said to consol an adult would probably just set the kid off again.

"Yes it is!" Harry sobbed, curling up in a small, tight ball on the bed. "Evewyone likes _big_ me! No one likes _little_ me!" He cried harder, throwing his glasses to the floor.

"I don't like big you." Draco said. "So maybe…maybe I'll like little you instead."

Draco prayed that when Harry was back to normal he wouldn't be too angry with him. What was he supposed to do - let the kid think that every one hated him? Let him stay miserable for the next four months? As much as he'd love to…

"No, no, you said - you said-" Harry gulped, trying to breath as he sobbed.

"I know what I said." Draco held his hand out to the little boy. "But I'm saying something different now. I'm going to try to like you, okay? I'm warning you now it won't be easy, we've got a lot of nasty history."

Harry sniffled loudly. "I like you, Dwaco." he said quietly. "I don' wanna hate you."

Draco felt his heart twist. He had a feeling that Harry Potter was going to be the death of him.

"You don't have to." Draco returned his hand to his lap.

"I don' wan' you to hate me, neither." Harry continued, barely whispering. "I wanna be your fwiend."

Instantly, Draco remembered how, nearly nine years ago, he had wanted to be _Harry's_ friend. He, however, had gotten his hand refused. The Slytherin's pride was severely injured that day and he had vowed to humiliate Harry the same way. But no he was offered the chance, he found himself unwilling to refuse.

Harry looked up to Draco, green orbs bright and filled to the brim with tears. They spilled over his cheeks, dripping down his nose and chin. He looked hopeful, but with every second that passed, his eyes lost a bit of their sprightly spark.

Finally, Draco sighed, and opened his arms hesitantly. Harry practically flew across the bed into the older boy's arms.

"I'll be your friend." Draco offered. He tentatively hugged Harry, then pulled the boy back and wiped his face gently. "I'll be your friend, Harry. But it's going to be hard. I'm going to yell and snap and be a colossal spoiled brat at times. You need to understand that you can't start crying every time I bit-grouch at you."

Harry nodded tearfully. "I won't." he promised. He hugged Draco tightly, tiny arms clinging to the Slytherin's waist. "I'll be the best fwiend ever."

* * *

One of my friends can stay up until three, four in the morning, and get up for school at six A.M. and function perfectly well. She doesn't need no stinking sleep, the little bitch. XD

The play-scene with Sirius is what I do with my little cousin, Chris, all the time. :D It's so much fun to run around the house trying to catch him, and when I finally do, I tickle him until he can't breathe. 7-year olds are so much fun - but they are not stupid, as I've had Harry prove above. I had a bunch of comments from people saying "7-year-olds are smart! They don't talk with impairments, they can read and write and follow conversations." I know all this - I watch Chris almost 5 times a week. And seven-year-olds do have speech impairments sometimes - my sister couldn't say 'r' until she was nearly eleven. I hope that I've managed to show that even though Sirius and Draco think that Harry is incapable of following their conversations, he's actually quite intelligent and understands every damn word. It's a useful thing to know.


	6. Sugar Addict

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary: ** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

WARNINGS: This is PWP - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Six**

**_Sugar Addict_**

_A baby is the perfect example of a minority rule._

_~ Milwuakee Journal_

* * *

"You wanna go toy shopping, Harry?" Sirius asked. Harry was riding on Sirius' shoulders, fingers digging into his godfather's long black hair.

It was nearly noon and Sirius Black was already exhausted. By the time the man had eaten, dressed himself at record speeds, clothed Harry, and dragged Draco out of the shower, then waited for him to do his hair - _I'm not you, Black! I want to look delicious and I can't do that with greasy, untamed, un-gelled hair! I _will_ look my best and you'll just have to deal with waiting!_ - they realized that all Harry's clothes shopping was done. They had debated over what to do for half an hour or so when Sirius declared it was beautiful out and he wasn't going to spend yet another gorgeous day of his life locked up. Sirius dragged Draco out of the hotel, and the two purebloods now found themselves walking aimlessly around the city. Sirius had graciously taken Harry onto his shoulders after Draco carried the boy on his hip for an hour, claiming he (Draco) was going to drop him (Harry).

"No, thank you." Harry said.

"Well, you're going to need something to do while I'm in class." Draco said, sliding his hands into his pockets. He leaned his head back, and relished in the feeling of the warm sun on his face. It really was a beautiful day, and Draco hated being stuck inside on warm days.

"Can we go to a bookstowe?" Harry asked.

"A bookstore." Sirius repeated, sounding doubtful. "You serious?"

Harry nodded.

"Alright then." Sirius turned on his heel abruptly, and began walking in the opposite direction.

"Where the hell are you going?" Draco called, jogging to catch up.

"To ask the _policeman_," he gestured to the man in blue sitting on a horse. "For _directions_ to the nearest bookstore."

"Oh."

Twenty minutes later, Draco found himself being dragged into a four-story tall building. A large sign on the front proclaimed the name of the store, _Barnes & Noble_. Harry was nearly jumping in place, tugging Draco towards the stairs to the second floor. Sirius followed, clearly amused. Draco stopped in front of the stairs, refusing to allow Harry drag him up them.

"Black," he hissed.

"Yes?" Sirius answered innocently.

"Why are the stairs _moving_?"

"It's an escalator." Harry whispered. "It's supp'sed to move." He hopped onto the escalator, waving to Draco as he moved up. "Come on, Dwaco!"

"Don't make me go on that," Draco said fearfully.

Sirius rolled his eyes, then grabbed Draco by the bicep and hauled him onto the escalator. The blonde let out a squeak of surprise, and practically ran off when they reached the top. Harry waited patiently at the top, giggling at Draco's fear of anything muggle.

"That's not natural!" Draco declared.

Harry giggled again. "You're funny, Dwaco."

"Thank you so very much." Draco snapped.

"Unca Siwius?" Harry asked, suddenly pouting. He looked up through his lashes with his big, wide, emerald eyes, bottom lip pushing out. "Can I go look at da books?"

"Go, have fun." Sirius chuckled. "Pick out as many as you want, but don't go far. Make sure we can see you."

Harry nodded and took off. Draco watched him weave through the groups of people, a Cheshire Cat grin plastered on his face.

"Will he be okay?" Draco wasn't worried. Not one bit. He just didn't want to get into trouble with Dumbledore was all. He wasn't the _least_ bit uncomfortable with Harry being out of his sight. Not. At. All.

"He'll be fine." Sirius leaned against the wall. "Besides, I can see him."

"Alright." Draco sounded unsure, but he let it go. If Sirius said he'd be alright, he'd be alright. "You know, you never told me what it was that you showed those boys, and you said you'd tell me."

"That I did. I also said at the hotel."

"Obviously that didn't work, you didn't tell me there."

Sirius refrained from snarling. "Fine." He dropped his voice, forcing Draco to move closer. "It's called a gun. It's a Muggle weapon, and it's very, _very_ dangerous, not only to Muggles but to wizards as well."

Draco scoffed. "What could Muggles have that's so dangerous?"

"Guns can fire bullets at a speed of up to nearly a mile a second." Sirius smirked. "A bullet is a small, sharp ball of metal, and mine nearly shatters on impact. It's called a hollow-point. The copper peels back, forming little hooks that drag and rip through your muscle and tissue like a hot knife through butter. I could be over a thousand yards away from you, and, if I hit you with the bullet in the right place, you'd most likely die within seconds." Sirius finished ominously. He smirked at Draco's green expression. "Guns are responsible for more deaths in the past fifty years than Voldemort was."

"That's _barbaric_." he said, sounding like he was going to be sick.

"Bloody useful, though. Made those boys back off real fast, didn't it?" Sirius shifted, crossing his arms over his chest. He gave Draco a even, cold glare. "Don't you tell _anyone_, got it? Not Snape, not Harry, not your friends, and _especially _not Dumbledore. If someone overhears, it could mean a lot of trouble. And Dumbledore doesn't like my having one, so this is our secret. Understood?"

Draco nodded. "But why would it matter if someone else knew about it?" he inquired. "Even if they stole it, it's no big deal. It wouldn't work for them."

Sirius gave his cousin a very long, very stern stare. Finally, he said, "A gun is not like a wand, Draco. If someone takes your gun from you, it will have no problem working just as well as it did _for_ you, _against _you."

* * *

Laden with bags of books and some weird Muggle things from a store called _Best Buy_, the trio made their way back to the hotel. Harry held onto the belt loop of Draco's pants, taking two or three steps for every one of Draco's. When they reached their room, Harry tugged the bags out of Draco's hands.

"Calm down!" Draco said. "Great Merlin, what happened to you? You were so calm and shy before."

"I told you not to give him sugar." Sirius gloated. He had nearly ripped his hair out when he saw Draco give Harry a chocolate bar, and had yelled at Draco for a solid twenty minutes. "I think it's a disease - every Potter has a severe sweet tooth and chocolate addiction and Harry's going to be crazy until he crashes. I'm not sure how he'll be today, sometimes he won't sit still, sometimes he's not affected, and sometimes he'll just stay up for days on end. Man, you should have seen what we could do to James - if we gave him enough Honeydukes we could get him to go hours without blinking."

Harry dumped one of the bags on the floor and dug through until he found a thick, sapphire blue book. Laughing triumphantly, he sat down among the books scattered on the floor and opened his prize.

"What kind of seven-year-old reads books like this?" Draco asked incredulously. He picked one up, and flipped to the last page. "This one has nearly eight hundred pages!"

"Dat's _Eldest_!" Harry said excitedly. "I'm gonna read Ewagon fiwst, an' then dat one!"

He put the blue book on his lap, humming happily. "I saw it in a window one day and I read the back of it when I was in the stowe! It's about dwagons and elves and people turnin' inta dwagon _widers_!" he exclaimed.

"You sure you aren't Granger?" Draco placed the red book back with the others. "Since when do you like to read?"

"I like to read _fiction_." Harry explained. "I don' like _school_ books. Dey're boring." He turned his attention to the book in his lap, indicating the conversation was over.

"He says he likes to lose himself in an epic story where all he has to do is turn the page." Sirius said, placing his _Best Buy _bag on the table. "I think it's because he likes _not_ being the hero for once."

"What makes you think I care?" Draco said icily. "Don't try to sell me all that _He-Just-Wants-To-Be-Like-Everybody-Else_ crap, I'm not buying it."

Sirius shrugged. "It was just a thought."

"Whatever." Draco muttered. "What's in the bag, exactly?" he asked, changing the subject so he could ignore the thoughts building in his mind.

"DVDs and a portable DVD player." Sirius said.

"DVDs?" Draco blinked.

"Oh, ah - movies. Muggles make movies to keep them busy." Sirius began sorting through the bag. "We'll watch one tonight, so you can learn about them."

"What's a movie?" Draco pulled a thin box out of the bag, and eyed it with a mixture of disgust and curiosity. _Finding Nemo_ was written across the top, with a picture of a group of cartoon fish beneath it.

"…" Sirius looked up, frowning. "Now I now what Moony feels like."

"Who?"

"Remus Lupin. He and Harry introduced me to all this Muggle junk. I'm afraid I'm just as intrigued as Arthur Weasley, though not nearly as clueless. Now I know how it feels to try to explain this to someone who doesn't know anything about Muggle things." Sirius scratched his head thoughtfully. "Well…a movie is kinda like a Pensive memory, only it's not real. It's all fake, never happened, but you get to watch it."

"Then what's the point?"

"Distraction and entertainment." Sirius laughed. "I come from an old, Slytherin, pure-blooded family like you do, kid. I didn't know anything about it, either, but I still go hooked."

Harry looked up. "You got movies?" He put a receipt in the book to mark his spot (Draco noticed it was several pages into the beginning and wondered how the kid had learned to read so well and so fast), closed the book and bounced over to the table.

"What happened to your reading?" Draco teased. "I thought you were so excited about it."

Harry stuck his tongue out at Draco. "I am! But now I wanna watch a movie!" He looked at Sirius. "Whatdja get?"

Sirius grinned, and pulled out a DVD with a red-masked person on the front. Harry cheered and Draco raised an eyebrow, wondering what could be so exciting about some guy named _Spiderman_.

* * *

"Go Spidewman, go!" Harry chanted, bouncing up and down on the couch.

Draco watched the screen, nearly as eager as the bouncing kid next to him. Sirius chuckled when the blonde gasped as Spiderman saved Mary Jane from Doc Oc's nuclear fission machine. They had watched the first movie, and when they broke for dinner, Draco had casually suggested they watch the second. Purely, he argued, for Harry's entertainment. Sirius, however, had seen how enthralled Draco was with the movie, and knew Draco had found a new form of entertainment.

"Can we watch anoder?" Harry asked as the credits rolled.

"I don't think so, kiddo. It's nearly ten - I want you in bed." Sirius turned the T.V. off, much to the disappointment of both Harry and Draco. "We've got a long day ahead of us tomorrow - we're taking a plane back to London and Apparating to Hogwarts from there."

Draco paled considerably. "We're…we're going to fly in one of those metal things?"

"It's perfectly safe." Sirius brushed his concerns off with a wave of his hand. "How else are we going to get all this stuff to Hogwarts?"

Draco whimpered. "But - a _plane_? It's a death trap!"

Harry turned fearful eyes to Sirius. "I don' wanna go in a death twap!"

"Bloody good job." Sirius gave Draco an exasperated look. Draco, in return, crossed his arms and glared back. "It's _fine_, Harry. We won't die, I promise. You," he snapped at Draco. "Stop being a baby. Muggles fly all the time, it's _safe_. Now go to bed, would you? We have to be at the airport by eight."

"Fine." Draco scowled and swept into the room with the twin beds. He stripped, changed into his pajamas and crawled into his bed.

Five minutes later he heard Harry say good-night to Sirius, then close the door. Draco strained his ears to listen for the creak of the other bed, and wasn't entirely surprised when he felt a light weight dip down on his bed. Harry crawled under the blankets to lay next to Draco.

"Harry, why do you want to sleep next to me?" Draco sighed, rolling over to face the small boy. "It's a tiny bed."

"I'm a tiny boy." Harry mumbled, looking up at Draco with hopeful eyes.

Draco's lips twitched at the comment. It was a snarky response, especially coming from such an otherwise shy boy. "Wouldn't you like to sleep by yourself?" Draco asked.

"No." Harry snuggled into Draco's chest, his ever-messy hair tickling the base of Draco's neck. "I wanna stay with you."

Draco's throat constricted at the purity of emotion that the young boy emitted. Sighing, he settled into his bed, lying on his back. Harry curled next to him, using his chest as a pillow. Before he fell asleep, Draco found himself wondering what it would be like to fall asleep with an eighteen-year-old Harry.

* * *

How else would you explain movies and TV shows to a wizard? I'd guess the best way would be to explain it like a Pensive. Sirius be packin' heat, and I'll give cookies to those reviewers who are able to guess who introduced the weapon to him. :D

Can anybody say _product placement_? XD I love the _Inheritance_ saga, it's AMAZING. I suggest it to anyone who enjoys Harry Potter and loves dragons. :D And Spiderman is just amazing, so he gets to make an appearance. XD Ask either of my younger cousins - they know everything there is to know about Spiderman/Peter 's awesome, I have nerd cousins. =^.^=


	7. So Begins The War

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWP - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Seven**

_**So Begins The War**_

_Babies are always more trouble than you thought - and more wonderful.  
~ Charles Osgood  
_

* * *

Contrary to what Draco thought, they flew home the next day without a hitch. Sirius Apparated them to Hogsmeade, and promised to visit as often as possible. Harry's clothes were already taken to the castle, and McGonagall met them at the Three Broomsticks to escort them back to the castle. Draco found that carrying Harry on his back was easier, and _much_ more comfortable, than struggling to hold him on his hip - something Black _surely_ knew and must have _deliberately_ withheld, arrogant bastard he was - and Harry was happy enough keeping his head next to Draco's, seeing everything from the blonde's height.

"Dinner is in an hour." McGonagall said briskly. "The entire school, naturally, has been buzzing with the news of what has happened, and _yes_, they are aware that you are taking of care of Harry, Mr. Malfoy. I assured Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley that they could see Harry before dinner. They will meet us in the castle - do _try_ not to start a fight, they are rather concerned about Harry."

Draco groaned. "I just want to take a nap. Can't they take him until after dinner?"

Harry's arms tightened around his neck. McGonagall noticed, and looked at Draco knowingly over the top of her glasses.

"I think that's your answer." she replied, a touch of amusement coloring her tone.

Draco grunted and trudged up the stairs behind the Transfiguration teacher. Harry rested his chin on Draco's shoulder, looking around warily. The castle was intimidating, but so long as he had Draco with him, Harry found he didn't mind it so much.

"Harry!"

Granger and Weasley stood by the doors, and once Granger saw Harry, she ran over. McGonagall nodded to Weasley before striding into the castle, leaving Draco alone with the Gryffindors and their little Golden Boy.

"Oh, Harry, we all missed you so much!" she gushed. After a minutes hesitation she added grudgingly, "You might want to watch out, Malfoy. Dean and Seamus are getting advice from George on how to get back at you."

"Fanbloodytastic." Draco muttered, remembering exactly what had happened last time one of the Weasley twins had gotten back at someone.

"Hey, mate." Weasley greeted Harry, smiling at him. Harry, in turn, narrowed his eyes at the redhead.

"Be nice." Draco said to Harry. "Or I'll drop you."

Eyes still narrowed, Harry humph-ed. "Don' wanna."

Draco let him slide a few inches down his back. Harry squeaked. "I'll be nice! Don' dwop me!"

Satisfied, Draco caught him and hefted the raven back up to eye-level with the rest of the teens.

"Why don't you like me?" Weasley asked, the hurt obvious in his voice.

"You hit Dwaco." Harry said stubbornly. "An' I don' like bullies."

"B-_bullies_?!" Weasley spluttered. "Are you kidding? He's the bully, not me!"

Draco narrowed his eyes. "I don't recall every laying a hand on you, Weasel."

Weasley bristled. "What about second year, I threw up _slugs_ -"

"_Your_ wand backfired when _you_ tried to hex _me_."

"Third year, what about -"

"_I_ got attacked by a Hippogriff and _Granger_ punched _me_."

"Well you deserved it! And fourth year -"

"_I_ got turned into a ferret by a crazy Death Eater masquerading as Mad-Eye Moody."

"Well…" Weasley stuttered, then he smirked victoriously. "Sixth year you nearly used _Crucio_ on Harry!"

"Yes, but I didn't, admittedly only because he hit me with that vile curse first. Yes, I do believe Harry's right! I've never laid a hand on either of you, so the two of you _are _bullies. Harry, at the very least, had the decency to go to the infirmary after he cursed me to apologize. I didn't accept it, of course, but the thought was still there." Draco smirked. "Who'd have thought _Gryffindors_ would be so cruel and sadistic?"

"If I remember correctly, you called me Mudblood, therefore deserving the punch I gave you." Granger snarled. "And Buckbeak attacked you because you insulted him, which was exactly what Hagrid told you _not_ to do."

"Dwaco?" Harry asked.

Draco fought to keep from snarling. "What?"

"What's a Mudblood?"

Weasley narrowed his eyes at Draco. "It's a word that -"

"I never want to hear you ever say again." Draco finished, silver eyes locking on Weasley's electric blue. "It's a vile word, and only arrogant bigots use it, understand?"

Harry nodded. "Okay."

"He actually listens to you." Granger sounded shocked, and slightly thoughtful.

"Merlin's pants." Weasley shook his head. "He hates me and likes you. Did you screw up his head as well?"

"I'm not scwewed up." Harry snapped. "Maybe _you_ are!"

Weasley was torn in between hurt and indignation. "These next four months are going to _suck_."

Draco smirked as Harry continued to glare at Weasley. Even Granger looked mildly amused, try as she might to hide it.

"Oh, I don't know about that." Draco drawled. "I think I may find myself pleasantly amused at times."

* * *

"Honey, I'm home!" Draco called sarcastically as he entered the Slytherin common room.

The common room was busy with students milling around and doing homework. It buzzed with the lull of afternoon conversation, but the instant Draco stepped through the common room entrance, all sound stopped. Every eye in the room turned toward the raven and the blonde, who were holding hands (Draco had adamantly refused to when he put the boy on the floor, but Lily Potter must have hexed her son's eyes because the second they welled up, Draco was at Harry's mercy).

"Oh, why don't you all go fuck the squid?" Pansy snapped from her position on her chair. "Get your arse over here, Draco, I want full details."

Grateful that Pansy was able to glare those around them into submission, Draco sat on the chair next to Pansy's. Harry climbed dutifully next to Draco, who fought the urge to shove the boy off. He really _was_ a clingy little bugger.

"So." Pansy closed her book and looked at Draco expectantly. "I want everything. What's Sirius Black like? And what secrets does the Chosen One hide from us all?"

"Sirius Black, for lack of a better description, is a Slytherin in Gryffindor, I'm sure of it, and that is as far in detail I shall go into about _him_." Draco scowled as he remembered how Black had tormented him all weekend, insulting him with the brilliancy and cunning of a Slytherin, and loud-mouthed as a Gryffindor. The man was a dangerous combination of both of the houses - and Draco couldn't help but have the feeling that Harry shared that combination at times. "And as for Harry," he continued. "He's an avid reader, he's a night owl _and_ a morning person, his favorite Muggle movie hero is Spiderman, he has a crush on Mary Jane, and he hates storms and thunder." Draco ticked off his fingers as he listed what he'd learnt about Harry Potter. "Oh - and he's ticklish."

Pansy raised an eyebrow. "You certainly learned a lot. What's a movie?"

"Some form of Muggle entertainment. It's like watching a Pensive memory - they're actually quite fascinating."

"And Mary Jane is…?"

"A character from a movie."

"Ah." Pansy smirked. "Are you sure you're not turning into a Muggle-loving blood traitor on me? I don't think the _Weasel_ knows as much as you do now."

"Black agreed to help us." Draco said quietly, ignoring her knowing look as he changed the topic quickly. "He's got a few ideas I'd like to try out."

Pansy nodded. "Good." She smiled at Harry, as if just realizing that he was sitting on the armrest of Draco's chair. "Hi, Harry."

"Hi." Harry beamed at her, but his smile faltered and he looked sheepish, blushing adorably. "Um, I don' know your name."

"I'm Pansy." She leaned in conspiratorially, and looked to both sides of her as if she was about to divulge top-secret information. "Was Draco a good baby-sitter?" she mock-whispered.

Harry nodded enthusiastically. "Yeah! Me an' Dwaco went to New Yowk City!" His eyes went wide as he excitedly described New York City to Pansy. She listened closely, eager to hear about the foreign city. She, like Draco, had never been across the Atlantic, and only to the upper parts of certain Muggle cities. The stories she'd heard about New York City were just stories, after all, and Pansy Parkinson prided herself on _always_ knowing rumor from fact. "An den me an' Dwaco -"

"It's _Draco_." Draco interrupted.

Harry frowned. "Dat's what I said. Dwaco."

"No. _Dray_co. Not 'Dwaco'." Draco shook his head. "And it's not 'den' and 'dat', either. _Then_ and _that_. I'm going to have to teach you how to speak properly, aren't I?"

Harry blushed and ducked his head. "Sowwy." he muttered.

Draco rolled his eyes. "For Merlin's sake, it's not _your_ fault. I couldn't say 'r' until I was nine. But I can't stand being called 'Dwaco', so you will learn faster than I did."

"You are _such_ a parent!" Pansy laughed. "If he starts calling you _Daddy_…"

"I'll leave him with Black." Draco said succinctly. "I am _not_ his father, and I will be _no one's_ 'Daddy'."

Pansy smirked. "You will be Daddy." she declared.

"Where's Blaise?" Draco switched subjects, praying to each god he knew that Harry would never call him 'Dad' or 'Daddy'.

"Detention. He hexed Weaslette."

"Why?"

"She was going on about how you were a pervert for turning him into a little boy who couldn't fight back and that you were going to raise him to be your little Death Eater." Pansy snorted. "Stupid chit."

"People don't honestly believe that, do they?" Draco was horrified. Yeah, he'd royally fucked up in the past and he could believe them thinking the whole Death Eater thing. Hell, he almost believed it himself and he knew the truth. He was actually a little miffed that he hadn't thought of turning Harry into - well, not a mini-Death Eater, but his little mini-me would be just fine.

But if they thought he would take advantage of the young boy…

Well. He'd be _fucked_. Kicked out of school, unable to find any sort of decent job, shunned from _everything_ - he wasn't a pervert but once rumors started nothing stopped them.

"No." Pansy said, grinning. " Oh, Draco, it was _brilliant._ Thomas and Finnegan went _apeshit_ screaming at her, telling her that she was insane and perverted for even thinking something like that. And the Weasel said - well, _shouted,_ really - that if she didn't take it back, he'd tell her mum she's not a virgin and hasn't been since her fourth year. It was such a lovely breakfast scene. When Blaise heard that she accused you of being a child molester, he went over to the Gryffindor table and hexed her so badly that her hair is now bogie-green, with carpets to match the drapes, and she has a pair of cow horns sprouting from her forehead. And I will swear, even though he's denied it, that Finnegan's the one that hexed her to act as if she's got a vibrator stuck up her cunt, even though Blaise wants full credit for that one. I _know_ he doesn't know a vulgar hex like that one, but I wouldn't put it past Finnegan."

Draco had not counted on the Gryffindors to protect him from at least the worst rumors. "Well, that's unexpected. Not Blaise, of course, but Finnegan, Thomas, and the Weasel? Why would they stand up for me, and why the _hell_ would Finnegan hex Weaslette over it?"

" I don't know, and I don't blame them. Finnegan is now my favorite Gryffindor, though. And that's not even all of what's gone on today!" Pansy crossed her legs underneath her, ready to gossip to her heat's content. "For starters, Granger won't let anyone talk badly about you. She was awfully tense at breakfast and lunch, and she even got _three_ questions wrong in Potions. Something's bothering her. I don't know what it is, but I will find out." Pansy had a determined gleam in her eye, once that Draco knew better then to mess with.

"What else? That can't possibly be it."

"Since everyone knows about your arrangements, I myself have had eight different Gryffindors come up to me and tell me that if anything happened to you because of what Weaslette said, I should go straight to any of them and tell them immediately and they'd take care of it. The Ravenclaws keep coming up to me and Blaise and asking what the hex you used was! They're nearly killing themselves trying to figure out what happened - they've even got Flitwick at his wits' end because _he_ can't figure it out, either! Oh, and Loony Lovegood," Pansy burst out laughing. "She accused McGonagall of not being able to do her job correctly!"

"Why the hell would she do that?" Draco sniggered. "Though I dislike the woman, McGonagall's a decent professor."

"According to Lovegood, Harry's been transmogrified in some way, and therefore it should be _McGonagall's_ job to figure out how to fix him - not Snape's!" Pansy snickered. "I don't think I've ever seen McGonagall so close to hitting a student, and that includes the time the Weasley twins hexed her skirt invisible to everyone except her."

Highly amused, Draco thought about his meeting with Weasley and Granger. Granger had seemed both relieve and excited to see Harry. She had also refused to look at Draco, and when she did she wouldn't look him in the eye. Granger was acting odd, but there was nothing Draco could do, even if he did care.

And the rest of the Gryffindors standing up for him was probably just their way of standing up for Harry.

"But out of everyone, Granger's been acting oddest." Pansy said thoughtfully, almost an afterthought. "Every time someone tries to talk to her, she acts as if she wasn't paying attention."

"Who cares? She's probably just worried about Harry." Draco shrugged. "Maybe she's actually in love with him or something."

"I suppose." Pansy looked doubtful, then stood up. "Come on, Draco, let's go eat. I'm starving."

Grumbling, Draco stood. "Let me change, hmm? I'm still in this atrocious Muggle-wear." Even though he actually liked what he was wearing, there was no way he'd _admit_ to it.

"Fine. Harry and I will meet you down in the Hall." Pansy held out her hand to Harry. "Would you escort me to dinner, Harry?" she asked sweetly.

Harry looked to Draco, as if asking permission.

"Go." Draco said as Harry's stomach growled. "I'll meet you there."

* * *

Draco paused in front of the Great Hall. He could just turn around and go back to the common room. He'd tell Pansy he fell asleep from the stress of the long weekend with Harry and Black or something. He didn't _have_ to go to dinner.

Draco sighed. Yes, he did. Harry would be dismayed if he didn't show up. Throwing his shoulders back, Draco walked proudly into the Great Hall. He ignored the stares and not-so-quiet whispers he received and walked quickly to the Slytherin table. Because of this, he didn't notice the Gryffindors watching him curiously.

Draco sat on one side of Harry, who was trying to hide under Pansy's robes. As soon as Draco sat down, he scooted over and tried the same task with Draco's robes. Draco snatched them away.

"Stop that."

"Evewyone's _stawing_ at me." Harry said, sounding panicked. "I don' like it!"

"Well you're going to have to deal with it." Draco said, helping himself to the food in front of him. His stomach was growling - he hadn't had much to eat all day. "People are always staring at you."

Harry pouted. "I wanna go home."

"Not until I've eaten." Draco looked at Pansy, ignoring the furious chatter that had started up, and the fact that Harry had referred to the Slytherin dormitories as _home_. "Has he eaten yet?" he asked, glancing down at Harry's empty plate.

Pansy looked at Harry disapprovingly. "Yes, but very little. He said he wasn't hungry."

"I'm not!" Harry cried defensively.

Draco eyed Harry suspiciously, remembering how Harry's stomach had growled not twenty minutes earlier. "Leave him be, Pans. It he's hungry, he'll eat."

Harry smiled at him gratefully, and Draco found himself blushing slightly. He turned quickly back to his food, trying to ignore the sudden urge to hug the small boy.

"When we get back you're taking a bath." Pansy told Harry. "You smell like fumes and city gunk. Can you get clean by yourself, or do you need help?"

Harry gave her an indignant scowl. "I'm not a baby, I can do it all by myself!"

"I was just asking, there's no need to jump down my throat." Pansy said stiffly. "It makes no difference to me if you need help or not - you're still taking a bath when we get back to the dorms."

Harry made a face and crossed his arms. "I don' wanna." he growled stubbornly.

Pansy narrowed her eyes, and Draco prepared himself for what he knew would be war.

* * *

When little kids don't want to eat or take a bath, they do. Not. Want. To. Take. A. Bath. And the war that commences will be _brutal_.

I was rereading the entire HP series over the past few months, and I've noticed something: Draco has never actually touched any of the Golden Trio. Harry, Ron, Hermione or even Ginny have all started the physical part of their fights. Draco only taunts and hits back ONLY when he's gotten hit first. XD It's pretty funny, I was amused by it. Everyone assumes that Draco's a bully - but he doesn't hit. Curious, no?

And contrary to what must be popular belief right now - I actually _do_ like Ginny. XD Got a wierd way of showing it, don't I?


	8. Go Suck A Chipmunk

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWP - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

**_Dedicated to Katie, my litte Ducky_**

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Eight**

**_Go Suck A Chipmunk_**

_Children are a handful sometimes, A heartfull all the time..._  
_~ Author Unknown_

* * *

Draco work up with Harry curled up against him like a cat, using the blonde's stomach as a pillow as usual. Sighing, Draco untangled himself from the boy's grip and climbed out of bed. It had been a week since The Incident (capital letters for the obvious importance of the accident) and the school had finally gotten used to seeing a young Harry following Draco around like a puppy. Harry's relationship with Hermione Granger, and a few other Gryffindors, had improved, especially when Granger found out he loved to read and began sharing new stories with him, but he still lashed out at the Weasel, much to Draco's amusement.

The students had quickly given up trying to hex Draco in the halls between classes when one of Ginny Weasley's infamous Bat-Bogey Hexes missed Draco and instead hit Harry. It landed the boy in the hospital wing overnight, and eliminated any chance of Harry liking either of the Weasleys'. Sirius had been quite amused when Draco wrote to tell him why his godson was in the infirmary.

Draco had expected Harry to fidget and complain when forced to attend classes with Draco, but he simply sat quietly, either observing the spell work around him or reading one of the many books he had. Once Draco had even caught him reading one of his Defense Against the Dark Arts textbooks, and had been too amused by the boy's intensely concentrated look to yell at him for taking his school book without permission.

Draco dressed in his robes before waking Harry, not wanting the small boy to see his chest. The scar he had there was not nearly as gruesome as the ones on Harry's back, but Draco didn't want eighteen-year-old Harry to know that the one mistake he had made had marked Draco so permanently. The boy had his own scars to deal with, and besides, Draco would be damned to show the Chosen One any sort of weakness he had.

"Harry, get up." Draco unceremoniously hit Harry with his pillow. "Come on, time for breakfast."

Harry blinked blearily, before bouncing out of bed. "Good morning, Dwaco!"

Draco raised an eyebrow, and crossed his arms. Harry frowned, and tried again, stumbling over the difficult 'r' in Draco's name. "Good morning, Dway...Dwwrraaay…_Draco!_" Harry grinned when he got it right.

"Very good." Draco handed him his clothes and turned his back to let the boy change in privacy. "You learn quickly."

Harry beamed as he got dressed. Draco always tried to be nice to him, the small boy decided. And he tried very hard not to snap, even though he still yelled sometimes. Maybe Draco really did like him. After all, Draco snapped at Pansy and Blaise, too, and he said they were his best friends.

"Ready!" he chirped, taking Draco's hand in his own. Draco wouldn't let him ride on his back anymore - _You're too heavy! And you are perfectly capable of walking by yourself. I'm not your personal carrier, and I don't like people staring at me because you're on my back. You say you're a big boy? Act like one and walk on your own. _- but Harry was content with simply holding Draco's hand instead, even though it took an impressive amount of effort on his part to coerce the blonde into the simple act.

It was just unfortunate for Draco that every time Harry grabbed his hand it sent butterflies through the blonde's stomach.

_He's seven, you pedophile!_ he snarled to himself every time he felt those atrocious butterflies, or the heat of that damned blush that plagued his face.

_But he won't be for long._ a nagging, irritatingly Slytherin voice in the back of his head would answer back. _And when he's no longer seven, maybe he'll be grateful for your taking so very good care of him all these months. Maybe grateful enough to -_ Draco always managed to push the dirty images the voice conjured out of his mind. It was easier when he looked at the seven-year-old boy and tried to picture the same thoughts - _those_ thoughts sickened him more than anything the stupid voice could come up with to try to get him aching for an eighteen-year-old, Quidditch-toned, powerful, Dark Lord-killing Harry Potter.

Draco sighed, and pulled Harry out of his room. At least tomorrow was the start of the weekend. Maybe then he'd get some peace.

* * *

Eye fluttering as he leaned his chin against his hand, Draco doodled absentmindedly on a scrap piece of parchment. Binns' class was so bloody _boring_, but Harry seemed completely immersed in the class.

"…Mr. Malfoy?"

Draco jerked out of his daydream-state, and flushed when he realized that Binns had just asked him a question that he did not know the answer to.

_Shite_.

"Um…" Draco said intelligently.

"633 A.D., the Goblin's Court versus the Elven Court," came a whispered offer.

Gratefully, Draco repeated the answer verbatim. "633 A.D., the Goblin's Court versus the Elven Court."

Binns blinked, and nodded. "Correct. However, I wish you would at least _act_ as if you are paying attention. And I would thank whoever it was who whispered the answer, if I were you."

Draco flushed deeper as Binns resumed his monotone drone about the Elven court and the Goblin's court. "Yes, Professor."

Draco turned to Pansy, who sat in her usual spot by his side - the one that _wasn't_ constantly occupied by Harry.

"Thanks for the answer," he whispered. She shook her head, looking amused.

"Wrong side, sweetie." she said slyly.

Frowning, Draco turned to Harry. "Did _you_ give me the answer?"

Harry nodded, eyes never leaving Binns' pearly form. "You weren't payin' 'ttention."

"Obviously _you_ were."

"I like history." Harry said. "An' magic history is much more innerestin than Muggle history."

"Well, thank you for saving my ass." Draco smirked. "Look at this - you're pretty useful. Big You _sucks_ at history, you were worse than me."

Harry shrugged. "It's no fun when you _have_ to learn. But when you don' have to pay 'ttention, it's easier an' more fun cuz you want to know what happened."

Draco snickered. "You'll put Granger to shame one of these days, mark my words."

Harry smiled bashfully at him, blushing furiously. "I'm not _that_ smart. I'm not smart 't'all, really."

"You've got the potential to be."

Harry's blush grew redder. "I'm not that smart." he repeated quietly, pleased with himself. "Now be quiet, I wanna listen!"

Draco smirked again, taking in how pleased Harry was with such a simple compliment. It was cute, in an odd way, until one realized that he was only affected in such a way because he never _was_ complimented.

* * *

"Finally, the week's over!" Blaise slammed his books closed and stood up, stretching. The Transfiguration classroom began to empty slowly, the students sluggishly making their way back to their common rooms to dump off their books, then make their way much more energetically to the Great Hall for dinner an hour later, leaving all their homework until Sunday afternoon. That's what Sundays were for, after all.

"Mr. Malfoy, a word?" McGonagall looked at him over her glasses from where she sat at her desk at the head of her classroom, already grading the essays that had been the previous week's homework.

Draco gulped inaudibly, and Blaise clapped him on the back.

"Good luck, man." he said before disappearing through the doors, following Pansy to their common room.

Groaning, Draco walked up to McGonagall's desk.

"Yes, Professor?"

"I was simply wondering how your week went." McGonagall looked over to Harry, who was busy packing Draco's books neatly into his satchel. "I also hoped to assure you that after Ms. Weasley's outrageous attack, she has been thoroughly punished and banned from playing Quidditch for the rest of the year. I assume you'll be glad to hear how infuriated my team was after losing not only their Seeker and Captain, but their best chaser, as well?"

"At the moment I'm too tired to truly care, but I'm sure later on I'll be able to properly gloat about it. Our week was fine." Draco said tiredly. "And I'm glad she was punished - she nearly landed him in St. Mungo's."

"I am aware." McGonagall's eyes flashed dangerously, and Draco suddenly felt very aware of why this woman was so feared by the Gryffindors. He remembered what Harry had said to him laughingly once when Draco threatened to go to Snape with some stupid fight they were having -_ You honestly think that after nearly six years of living in McGonagall's House I'm still afraid of what _Snape'll_ do to me? Go ahead - do your worst, Malfoy! I dare you._

"I was wondering if you had made plans for Harry tonight, as well." McGonagall continued.

"For what?"

"Doesn't the Slytherin team have Quidditch practice tonight?"

Draco's blood froze, and he closed his eyes to avoid hitting his head on McGonagall's desk.

"Yes. Yes, it bloody well does."

"What's Kidditch?" Harry asked, jumping on the desk and swinging his legs.

"A game I play. And it's _Quidditch_, not 'Kidditch'." Draco rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. "I'm gonna have to find you a babysitter in less than…," he checked his watch. "Half an hour. Bugger."

"Language, Mr. Malfoy." McGonagall said, as if on that auto-pilot track all teachers switch onto whenever they heard a not-so-polite word.

"I wanna watch you play!" Harry said. "Please? I like sports."

Draco looked to McGonagall, who shrugged. "It's not my place to decide. Dumbledore has named you his guardian for now, it's your decision. Just make sure, if you _do _allow him to watch, someone is with him in the stands. I shudder to think what would happen if he were alone. Goodness knows he isn't careful when he's older."

"I'll ask Pansy." Draco said, sliding his satchel onto his shoulder. "I'll see you Monday, Professor."

"Have a pleasant weekend, Mr. Malfoy. Do try to take Harry outside at some point, it's supposed to be quite beautiful out." McGonagall turned back to her papers. "And do not forget your essay on Madame Maurine's theory."

"Yes, ma'am."

* * *

The Snitch darted to the right, and then sharply to the left, before diving straight for the ground. Draco followed it nearly perfectly, dipping and free-falling like a pro. He'd nearly forgotten what it was like to fly without caring about anything in the world, not having flown in nearly a year. Laughing, he let out an adrenaline-fueled whoop and dove after the Snitch, expertly rolling to avoid a Bludger. His hair whipped around his face, creating a wild emotion to bubble in the pit of his stomach. He reached out, and snatched the Snitch nearly effortlessly from the air. Draco let out a victory yell and pulled his broom up just in time to avoid slamming into the ground.

He flew lazily around in random circles until the end of practice. Draco felt much, _much_ better once he dismounted his broom. He hadn't realized quite how badly he had needed his dose of flying.

Draco followed the rest of the team into the locker rooms. He changed quickly and found Pansy, Blaise and Harry waiting for him outside.

"Harry wants to learn to fly." Pansy announced as they made their way back to the Slytherin common room. "And he learned Quidditch, bloody genius he is."

Harry nodded furiously. "I wanna be a Seeker, like you!"

Draco snorted. "What makes you think you can fly well enough to be a Seeker?"

"Pansy said I was the youngest Seeker in a _cent'ry_! An' Blaise said my Dad was a Seeker, too! A really good one!" Harry smiled shrewdly. "I'll bet I was even better dan _you_."

"Why would you tell him those things?" Draco snapped at his two friends. "I was so happy without his bloody ego, you know!"

Blaise shrugged. "He looked sad when I told him that you've gotta try out for the teams. Said that he would never be able to beat anyone else for the spot because he wasn't good enough at anything."

"Blaise had a moment of sappy Hufflepuff kindness." Pansy smirked. "It was so _sweet_ to watch him take pity on Harry and tell him how fantastic he was."

"Shut up." Blaise snapped. "It was bloody torture to let admit a _Gryffindor _was better than any of our Seekers ever have been, and you know it, so you can bloody well _bite me_."

"Offer or threat? I'd love to sink my teeth into your di-"

"_Hey_!" Draco shouldered Pansy into a wall. "Bitsy," nodding to Harry, "over here is _seven_, Pansy. Watch your mouth."

"Who's the one who _oh-so-very_ subtly told Weasel what he could do with his wand if he didn't like the fact that Harry didn't want to be his friend?" Pansy giggled, regaining her balance.

"_I_ didn't curse or use vulgar language." Draco huffed haughtily.

"You sure as hell implied a few _vulgar_ things." Pansy said smugly.

"Bite your tongue."

Harry tugged on Draco's robes, clearly annoyed for some reason.

"_Must_ you do that every time you want to get my attention?" Draco snatched his robes away irritably. "You'll end up ripping a set of robes one of these days, and with the way my luck's been lately, it'll be an expensive set that I rather enjoy owning."

Harry pouted. "I'm small. How _else_ am I supposed t'get your attention?"

"Call my name, perhaps?"

"I did! Twice! _You_ didn't hear me!" Harry's pout deepened as he stomped to walk closer to Blaise. He had developed a liking for the dark-skinned boy ever since the Slytherin had jinxed that mean red-haired girl a second time. It was funny.

"He's right, you were talking to Pansy and ignored him." Blaise offered, allowing Harry to latch onto the belt loop on his pants. Blaise never let Harry hold his hand, but he allowed the boy to hold on to some part or other of his clothes - usually his belt loop or the folds of his robes. Draco personally thought Blaise loved the attention the little boy gave him. Blaise loved little kids, but he would never admit to it, even though Pansy and Draco taunted him relentlessly about it. "Just like you always ignore people who you're not talking to." Blaise added.

Draco narrowed his eyes. "Oh, go suck a chipmunk." he said bitterly.

Blaise and Pansy stopped, dead, in the middle of the hall. Harry paused as well, before he dissolved on the floor into peals of laughter, the childish sound reverberating off the hallway's walls.

"_What_?!" Pansy stammered.

Draco closed his eyes, and cursed Sirius Black for all he could. "Black said that to me once when he wanted to tell me to bugger off. I don't know _how_ he came up with it, or _why_, but he said he's always says it when little kids are around. I guess I picked it up."

"In two days?" Pansy burst out into giggles. "For Merlin's sake, Draco!"

"_Suck _a _chipmunk_." Blaise repeated, before roaring with laughter. "Great _Merlin_, Draco! Are you _high_?"

Draco looked from his laughing friends to his giggling baby-sitting charge. As Harry gasped, trying to find his breath, Draco felt a small smile tug at his lips. A true, pure smile - one he hadn't worn since before he started school at Hogwarts.

"You know something, Blaise?" he said conversationally, picking Harry up and swinging him onto his back. He'd never admit it, of course, but he didn't like it when Harry clung to Blaise. Harry was _his_ annoyingly clingy bite-sized brat, thank-you-very-much. "I think I might be."

* * *

XD My friend Katie is ALWAYS saying "Go Suck A Chipmunk." It comes in handy when I want to tell someone to f*** off when I'm in front of a little kid. It's amusing.

And I have dedicated this chapter to Katie. Her grandfather just died Saturday night, so I dedicate this chapter to her because it made her laugh when I showed it to her on Monday. :) I can always make her laugh, so I'm going to be on double time to make sure she keeps laughing.

And **_THANK YOU SO MUCH_** to everyone that reviewed, and added either myself or the story to their favorites or alerts!!!!!! :D It is very much appreciated it, and it motivates me to write more and update quicker. :D I promise I'll have the next chapter up by the weekend.


	9. Old Enemies, New Friends

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWP - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Nine**

**_Old Enemies, New Friends_**

_Father asked us, "What was God's noblest work?" Anna said, "Men", but I said "Babies". Men are often bad, but babies never are._  
_Louisa May Alcott_**  
**

* * *

"No, Weasley, I am not going to kill him."

"Then why don't I teach him?" Weasley snapped. "I can fly, too, you know!"

Draco rolled his eyes. But when he made to reply, Granger beat him to it.

"Malfoy's a better flier, Ron, and Harry still won't go near you. How do you expect to teach him to fly?" Granger laughed bitterly. "Sure, go ahead! I'd love to see you attempt that would-be fiasco. _You_ may actually kill him."

Weasley scowled. "Well, I don't trust Malfoy, especially not with Harry, and especially not fifty, sixty feet in the air! Why are you so fine with this, Hermione? It's not natural."

"Black trusts me enough." Draco snapped. "You don't have to like someone to trust them, do you? And if Black trusts me, why shouldn't you?"

"He trusted Wormtail, too." Weasley muttered darkly, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Draco opened his mouth, then snapped it shut. Weasley, for once, actually had a valid point - Wormtail had been Black's best friend for nearly twenty years, and look where that got him: Two dead best friends and the return of the Dark Lord.

"Look," Draco said finally. "I'm not going to try to kill him. I'll make a Wizard's Vow, if I must, but I assure you - I am not trying to hurt him."

"I want an Unbreakable Vow." Weasley narrowed his eyes.

"I never make Unbreakables. They're too binding and if something isn't phrased correctly, you're screwed." Draco lifted his chin, bracing himself. Weasley was really getting on his nerves today. "Look, I didn't have to come tell you I'm going to be teaching him to fly. I don't ever have to tell you _anything_, yet I find myself meeting up with you two every day after dinner to catch you up with the latest gossip of what's been going on in your precious Golden Boy's life! If you don't like the way I'm taking care of your precious Golden Boy, take it up with Dumbledore because _I _can't do anything about it."

Draco spun on his heel and stormed out of the empty classroom they were in, robes billowing behind him in a way that would make Snape proud. He could hear Weasley spluttering indignantly and Granger snapping at him. Draco smirked. It felt good to get one over on Weasley after a few weeks of having to be polite, even if it was winning an argument over something rather stupid.

Honestly, how thick could Weasley get? Did he _really_ think that Draco could hurt Harry? Well, sure, sixth year he nearly used an Unforgivable on him - but Potter was no saint and he had the scars to prove it. And, anyways, Draco had panicked. Besides, Harry had been safe with him all week. Why would that suddenly change?

* * *

"Don' let go!" Harry squeaked, closing his eyes tightly.

Draco rolled his eyes. "I'm not going to let go, Harry."

They hovered ten feet above the ground, on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. Harry sat in front of Draco on his broom, and had demanded Draco keep his arm around his waist. It was a week after his 'spat' with Weasley, and he couldn't care less that Granger was the only one who would meet him after dinner now. He found himself actually enjoying the conversations he had with her, even if she still refused to look at him. Draco noticed that Granger didn't seem to like him any more than Weasley did, and the fact that she blatantly refused to look at him straight on irked him. Draco had questioned her about it the night before.

"_Why do you refuse to look at me, Granger?"_

"_I'm looking at you now, idiot."_

"_You know bloody well what I mean."_

"_You want an honest answer?"_

"_Preferably."_

_Granger took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. "I can't stand the goddamn sight of you, Malfoy."_

"_Why ever not?" He was offended._

"_Are you fucking serious?" Granger had opened her eyes, and Draco found himself assaulted with furious, misted-over horse-brown eyes. He marked it as the first time he had ever looked Granger in the eye, and he didn't like how accusing her gaze was. "You've been a bastard to me my entire life at Hogwarts, Malfoy! I had never done anything to you, but you made it your bloody _mission _to humiliate me since day one! And last year -" She stopped herself, and shook her head, before continuing_._ "The only thing I've ever been truly guilty of is being a fucking _Mudblood, _you arrogant, self-centered, vile, filthy _coward_!"_

She had turned and stalked off, but not before Draco saw the tears running down her face. He hadn't realized that she was still so offended by his words. He had thought that after some time, she had gotten used to the insult and ignored it. Apparently not.

But she continued to meet with him everyday, to inquire about her best friend. She continued to be around Draco, just to show Harry that she wasn't going to abandon him, even if he was in the company of someone she obviously hated very much, and for good reason. It showed a sort of strength that not many people had. Not even the Gryffindors - the Weasel was proof enough of that.

Draco had often wondered why the bushy haired girl hadn't been placed in Ravenclaw, instead of Gryffindor. Now he knew why.

"Harry, you're hurting me." The miniature raven had dug his fingers into Draco's arm when Draco loosened his grip, jerking Draco back to reality rather harshly. "Do you want to learn to fly by yourself or not?"

"I do!" Harry gulped nervously. "But I'm scared."

Draco allowed the broom to fly higher. "So? Where's your Gryffindor courage?"

Harry scowled. "I'm a _Slytherin_. I don' sleep in Gryffindor, I don' like most of da Gryffindors, an' I'm not very brave." He squeaked again as Draco suddenly pulled his arm away from Harry's waist.

"Stop squirming or you'll fall." Draco warned, his pride oddly swelling when he heard Harry declare himself a Slytherin. Harry stilled immediately. "Now, put your hands where mine are."

Draco, over the following hours, found that, as long as his pupil was willing to learn, he rather enjoyed teaching. Maybe that's what he would do after Hogwarts - he was rather good at it.

_Or _maybe_ Harry's just a natural._ Draco reminded himself as he watched Harry fly in messy circles around the Quidditch field a few short hours later. _He did make Seeker first year for a reason, and I've never caught the Snitch when against him_.

"Alright, Harry, come back down. It's getting dark." Draco called.

Harry angled the broom, and dove down to Draco, trying to imitate Draco's dives during the Quidditch game. He tried to pull up, but was a little too late. The handle of the broom caught against the ground and Harry was jerked off the broom at a frightening pace, landing with a sickening crunch on his right arm.

"Oh, son of a bitch, son of a _bitch_," Draco breathed as he ran to Harry's side.

The young boy gasped in pain and clutch his arm to hic chest. "Oh, oh, _oh_!" Tears flooded his eyes, and flowed down his cheeks.

"Don't move." Draco ordered, kneeling down at the boy's side. He gingerly lifted Harry's arm, drawing louder and more pained gasps from the mini Golden Boy. Harry's wrist was already swelling, and his arm looked bent in a way it shouldn't bend. "It must be broken," Draco groaned. "Brilliant."

"I'm s-sorry!" Harry gasped, choking back sobs.

"Don't apologize, you didn't do it on purpose." Draco carefully picked Harry up bridal-style, taking care not to jounce Harry's arm too badly. "Come on, back to the hospital wing."

Harry sniffled.

"You can cry, if you want. I'm sure it hurts like hell, and you've gotta be exhausted."

Harry's lower lip trembled violently, but he stared stubbornly ahead. "No." he said quietly. "I can't cry anymore."

Draco's eyes flickered down, quickly showing flashes of emotion before turning back to the normal impassive silver orbs they always were. Harry refused to look at him, even as Draco swept through the doors to the school. Draco barked at a Gryffindor second-year he met in the halls to get Granger and Weasley and send them to the hospital wing. The boy rushed off as Harry let out a strangled sob when a group of Ravenclaws brushed past Draco. Snarling, Draco shouted several curses toward them, making them blanch at his vulgarity.

"Watch where you're bloody well going, you morons!" he growled as a final warning.

"Draco, it _hurts_." Harry moaned, burying his face into Draco's chest and trying to curl into a small ball in Draco's arms. "Please, _please_ make it better."

Draco's heart twisted nastily. "I'm trying, Harry. I've got to get you to Madame Pomfrey."

* * *

Madame Pomfrey jumped when the doors to her infirmary burst open.

"Mr. Malfoy, what happened?" she demanded when her eyes landed on the nearly-sobbing Harry. She, of course, knew what had happened, but she hadn't had the privilege of seeing the Savior as a seven-year-old just yet. The nurse wondered if the young Malfoy knew yet of the boy's scars - Harry had sworn her to secrecy when she found out about them. As far as she knew, only herself and Harry knew of them. He wouldn't allow her to even tell the Headmaster.

"Fell off his broom." Draco panted. He had began to run as soon as he found blood on his robes. "I think he broke his arm, and there's blood-"

"On the bed." Madame Pomfrey said briskly. "Come on, now, that's a lad - do be _careful_, Mr. Malfoy!"

Casting a few spells, the nurse examined Harry's arm. The raven whimpered and cried out as she carefully moved his arm.

"Yes, it's broken. A clean break, though. Easy enough to fix. As for the blood - Does he have any pre-existing cuts, or scars?" she asked cautiously, taking care not to reveal the boy's secret.

"Oh - oh, yeah. On his back." Draco sat on the edge of Harry's bed, relieved that Harry would be alright. The blood had made him panic.

Madame Pomfrey nodded. She would have to have a talk with Draco about Harry's scars later. "They must have been scraped open. There isn't enough blood for it to be anything too serious, so he'll be fine." she assured Draco. "I'll go get the potions to fix him up right, alright?"

Draco nodded numbly. Madame Pomfrey swept out of the room as the infirmary doors slammed open a second time. Granger and Weasley burst in, panting from tearing through the halls.

"_Harry!_" Granger gasped. She ran over to the bed, ignoring Draco completely.

"What happened?" Weasley demanded. "I _knew_ the Ferret would hurt him, I _knew_ it! Why doesn't anyone ever _listen_ to me?"

"Shut _up_, Ronald!" Granger snapped. She turned back to Harry, motherly worry etched on her face. "Harry, are you alright? What happened?"

"C-crashed the-the broo-oom." Harry choked out. He rubbed his eyes clumsily, pushing his glasses into his nose. Draco rolled his eyes, and sighed tiredly.

* * *

Hermione and Ron watched in stunned silence as Malfoy - bloody _Draco Malfoy_ - gently took Harry's glasses off his nose and placed them on the table by the bed. He then used his sleeve to carefully wipe Harry's cheeks, drying his face. He whispered something in Harry's ear, causing the little boy to let out a watery, high-pitched giggle.

"Dat's not nice." Harry giggled, sounding border-line hysterical in his pain.

"It's true, isn't it?" Malfoy smirked, but it wasn't his usual malicious feature. Hermione was sure she hadn't imagined the underlying worry that was in the blonde's tone. "And since when have I been nice?"

"You're always nice to _me_." Harry smiled at Malfoy, who flushed slightly and looked away pointedly. Hermione narrowed her eyes. Something was up, and she'd get to the bottom of it. Even if it meant having a talk with Malfoy.

"Alright, Harry, I'm going to give you something to drink." Madame Pomfrey bustled in with her wand raised, a tray of potions and bandages floating behind her. "I'll wrap your arm, so it doesn't move." She handed Harry a small cup of a vile-smelling, blue potion.

Harry wrinkled his nose and scowled. "I don' wan it. It smells bad."

Madame Pomfrey's lips twitched. "You know, you never do grow out of whining about taking your medicine. Drink up, sweetheart, it'll make the pain go away."

She wrapped Harry's arm snugly in bandages, and put it in a sling. She huffed irritably as Harry still refused to take the potion. "Mr. Malfoy, please make sure he drinks that." The nurse said, before heading off to check on her other patients. She didn't want to discuss the raven's scars in front of the other Gryffindors, she had been explicitly forbidden by Harry from telling them at all costs.

"Drink it, Harry." Ron urged. "Take it all in one shot and then it'll be over. I promise, it's worse to drag it out."

Harry scowled. "No!" He began to cry, overwhelmed and exhausted from the day's events. "I don' _wanna_!"

Hermione tried soothing Harry, tried to get him to stop crying, tried coaxing him gently into drinking the healing potion. She failed, and Harry became increasingly difficult to deal with. He cried harder, and yelled louder.

"I said _no_!" he shouted, angry tears making his eyes seem even larger and greener than normal.

"Fine!" Hermione gave up, exasperated. "Be in pain, then! See if I care!"

"May I?" Malfoy asked, sounding rather amused.

"Go ahead, be my guest." Hermione scowled, hurt. How could she ever be a good mother if she couldn't get a seven-year-old to taken his medicine? The thought made her want to cry. Harry was the only one she had ever told about her secret desire to be a mother like Mrs. Weasley, and if she couldn't even get Harry to do what she told him to, seven years old or otherwise, how was she _ever_ going to be a good enough mother to any child?

Ron snorted. "Good luck, Malfoy. Harry _never_ takes his medicine."

Rolling his eyes, Malfoy climbed onto the hospital bed and put Harry onto his lap, the boy's back pressed against his chest. Ignoring Ron's protests, he put his chin on Harry's small shoulder and looked up to the boy through lowered lashes. Harry eyes him warily, sniffing.

"Harry, are you going to make me do this the hard way?" Malfoy's arms snaked around Harry's waist. "Or are you going to take the potion?"

"No potion," Harry snapped, looking torn between wanting to laugh and wanting to cry.

Malfoy grinned wickedly, then put his lips to the juncture of Harry's neck and shoulder, and blew. Harry shrieked, and tried to crawl away, but Malfoy's arms caged him in. The raven couldn't get away from those long, pale fingers that tickled him mercilessly. Harry wriggled and writhed, unsuccessfully attempting to get out of Malfoy's iron-grip.

Ron and Hermione watched in astonished disbelief as Malfoy tickled Harry into submission. It wasn't until Harry lay on his back, his uninjured arm and legs pinned by Malfoys', with his stomach being ruthlessly attacked by Malfoy's mouth, did he surrender.

"Okay!" he screamed, laughing helplessly as Malfoy's fingers began dancing over his stomach.

Malfoy stilled completely, as if frozen by Harry's surrender. "You'll take your medicine?"

Gasping for breath, Harry nodded furiously. Malfoy smirked triumphantly, and released the miniature Gryffindor. Harry scrambled to the far side of the bed, panting heavily and trying to scowl at Malfoy, though the scowl was broken by his flickering smile. Malfoy simply handed Harry the potion, glaring at him until the small boy drank it quickly. Gagging, Harry threw the cup at Malfoy, who caught it with ease.

"And _that_, Granger," Malfoy drawled. "Is how you _successfully_ get a young child to take his medicine."

Though he was sneering superciliously, Hermione saw how his eyes danced with mischievous play as he looked at Harry, and how his cheeks were flushed pink from the previous excitement. She also picked up on how he wouldn't look at her face when he spoke to her, and when she looked at him, how he turned a very light shade of pink, and looked away as if embarrassed.

_Or is it ashamed?_ she allowed herself to think. _Could he possibly be ashamed by what I said last night_?

"That was _mean_, Dwaco!" Harry aimed a kick a Malfoy's leg, missing only by an inch.

"What's my name?" Malfoy raised an expectant eyebrow at the little raven.

Ron bristled angrily. "What, he's not allowed to call you by your name? Are you so _superior_ to a little kid that he can't call you by your first name?"

Malfoy eyed him coldly. "Why don't you shut up for one, Weasel? Just listen, huh? I know the concept is difficult for you, but do try."

Harry scowled again, but it was more as if he was concentrating on something very difficult, and was angry with himself that he couldn't get it. Ron was used to seeing that look on Harry's face when he struggled with an essay, or a particularly hard spell that he just couldn't get right, no matter how hard he tried.

"Dwway - dwwway-"

"_Rrrrr_," Malfoy purred. "Come on, you know how to say it properly. Put your tongue on the roof of your mouth, and let it vibrate."

Ron's mouth dropped open as his brain tried to process what was going on. Malfoy _tickled_ Harry. Malfoy called Harry by his _first name_. Malfoy was bloody _helping_ Harry with his _speech_.

The world was ending, Ron knew it.

Hermione watched her boyfriend's brain fry as he stared incredulously at the two boys on the hospital bed. She herself wasn't far behind him. The whole situation was utterly bizarre, and she couldn't find it in herself to understand why Malfoy would go out of his way to _willingly_ help Harry.

Harry tried again. "Dway…Dwwray…_Draco!_" he cried finally. He grinned, looking extraordinarily pleased with himself.

"Very good." It might have been a trick of the light, but Hermione could have sworn that Malfoy had smiled - not _smirked_, not _sneered_, but honestly _smiled_ - at Harry. "You have _no_ idea how tiresome it is to be called 'Dwaco'. For Merlin's sake, my name is _Draco_."

Ron gaped at Malfoy. "You're helping him talk right?"

"Of course. I have to listen to him for the next three and a half months, after all." Malfoy said smugly. "What? Afraid I have an ulterior motive for teaching him to say 'r'?" he baited.

"Knowing you?" The redhead muttered, scowling at the blonde.

Malfoy rolled his eyes and was about to make a retort when the doors flew open yet _again_ and Pansy Parkinson flew in, dragging a very peeved Blaise Zambini behind her.

"What did you do?" she demanded, ignoring her boyfriend's annoyed protests and opting to glower at Malfoy. "You _idiot_, I told you to wait for Black to teach Harry to fly! You see what happens when you don't bloody listen to me?"

Malfoy waved a hand at her. "Did you remember the letter he sent? He'll be here in two weeks. I was not putting up with a whining Harry for that long. Bite-sized he may be, but this boy has _never_ been patient."

Hermione nearly giggled when she heard Malfoy call Harry 'bite-sized'. It sounded…oddly endearing, the way he said it. Maybe he wasn't the worst person to be watching Harry after all.

Parkinson huffed, then dropped a bag onto Harry's bed. "Pomfrey said he's going to be staying overnight for observation or whatever. She said you can stay, too, so I packed pajamas and clothes for tomorrow for both of you."

"Good to know, and thank you."

"Hi, Pansy!" Harry said, waving his left arm awkwardly. "I learned to fly! Draco said I'm really good."

"Obviously," Zambini drawled. "Otherwise you wouldn't be in the hospital."

Parkinson snorted. "He was always in the hospital."

"True."

"He…he likes you two?" Hermione asked, startled. It was one thing for Harry to like Malfoy - after all, the blonde _was_ taking care of her little best friend. But why would he like the _other_ Slytherins? There was no need to, and Hermione imagined they'd be rather rude to a little Harry Potter. Especially Zambini.

Parkinson sent her a withering glare. "Yes, if that's so hard to believe."

"It is, actually." Hermione snapped. "We've spent the past seven years hating you three -"

"Seven years that _Harry_ hasn't lived yet. He was unprejudiced when he re-met us, and apparently he liked us better." Zambini said coldly. "Though he does like you, Granger. It's just the Weasley's who've turned him against Gryffindor."

"I have not turned him against Gryffindor!" Ron protested. Hermione closed her eyes, and picked up the cup of water from Harry's nightstand, if for no reason other than she needed something to do with her hands or she _would_ strangle someone. All the bickering was really getting on her nerves.

Zambini's eyes glinted as Malfoy smirked.

"Well then, Weasley," Malfoy drawled. "Ask him what House he belongs to."

"Fine!" Ron glared at Malfoy, then turned to Harry. "Mate, what house do you belong to?" he asked smugly, expecting to know the answer.

"Slytherin."

"Exact-_what?_"

The cup of water Hermione had picked up to clear her head dropped to the floor and shattered. "_What_?" she whispered meekly. She berated herself for feeling so betrayed, especially since she knew that the Harry _she_ knew hated Slytherins, but the sting was still there. Couldn't the child see how terrible the Slytherins were?

But, she reminded herself, Malfoy _had_ told Harry never to say the word Mudblood. Could it be possible that Malfoy actually had a kind side? Hermione frowned. Yes, she would defiantly need to have a talk with a certain blonde-haired Slytherin, and soon.

"I'm a Slytherin." Harry said a little slower, as if he was the eighteen-year-old talking to the seven-year-old. He sniffed, and wiped his nose on his sleeve.

"I'm so proud." Malfoy said dramatically.

Parkinson rolled her eyes. "Merlin, you're a _daddy_."

"Take it back." Malfoy's eyes narrowed dangerously.

Zambini smirked. "C'mon ,Draco, we all know you just _love_ being a _daddy_." he cooed in a sickeningly sweet voice.

Malfoy chucked Harry's pillow at him. "Go suck a chipmunk."

Harry giggled as Hermione raised an eyebrow. "You serious, Malfoy?"

"Shut up, Granger."

"Don't you tell her to shut up!" Ron said angrily.

"Don't get your knickers in a knot, Weasel." Parkinson snapped.

"Why don't you butt out?" Ron growled.

"Why don't you _make_ me?"

"_Honestly_, can't you act your age?" Hermione glared at Parkinson, itching to pick up her cup and throw it at the Slytherin female.

"Can't _you_ go two seconds without hearing your own voice?" Zambini asked coldly, putting an arm around his girlfriend.

"Stop it!"

The four teens turned angrily towards the speaker. Harry stared fearfully back at them. "Stop fighting!"

"He doesn't like fighting." Malfoy said icily. He allowed Harry to crawl onto his lap, seeking comfort. "I suggest you stop before he gets even more upset." His eyes flashed dangerously. "Or before _I_ do."

Madame Pomfrey chose that moment to bustle in, hands on her hips. "I'm sorry, but I want everyone out! Harry needs to rest and that will not happen if you are all fighting the way you've been! No, Mr. Weasley," She held up a hand to silence his protests. "I want everyone save Mr. Malfoy out by the time I get back or _I_ will get very angry." She turned on her heels and swept out of the room.

Malfoy looked over to the group. "You heard her. Out."

Ron opened his mouth to say something, but Hermione stopped him with a hand on his wrist.

"Drop it, Ron." she said tiredly. "We're sorry for fighting, Harry. Can we come see you tomorrow?"

Harry fidgeted. "Promise not to fight?

"Yes." She sent Ron a warning glance. He huffed, then grudgingly nodded.

"Then I guess." Harry shrugged, wincing when he moved his still-healing arm.

"Can we come back, too?" Parkinson smiled at Harry.

"Only if you bring my book."

"Already in your bag."

Harry gave her a small smile. "Then you can come, too."

"And me?" Zambini raised an eyebrow expectantly.

"No. You laughed when I fell off the chair in Potions." Harry scowled.

Hermione might have imagined it, but she'd have sworn she saw a flicker of hurt pass over his features before Zambini shrugged.

Parkinson smirked at Zambini. "I _told_ you you'd regret it."

"I regret nothing."

"Liar." she said happily. "We'll see you later, Harry! Bye, Draco."

"Later, Pansy." Malfoy looked to Hermione and Ron and cocked an eyebrow as if to say _Well? Aren't you going to follow them out?_

Hermione sighed and said goodbye to Harry. He acknowledged her with a tired smile, and she dragged Ron out of the room.

"I don't like this." Ron grumbled. "What if Harry doesn't wanna be our friend when he's older again?"

"I'm sure that won't be the case. He may not remember us now, but he won't forget us when he's eighteen again. Dumbledore said he'd return to normal, memory and all." Hermione reassured him. She looked back over her shoulder to see Harry drag a large red book out of his bag and begin reading it, slowly, to Malfoy, curling up on the blonde's lap. A smile played on Malfoy's lips, and Hermione watched as Harry looked up and smiled brilliantly at the Slytherin.

_I hope_. she thought, before closing the door to the infirmary, not quite able to disturb the two former-enemies, no matter how much she wanted to.

* * *

Damn. Long chapter. :0 I'm not sure all of my chapters are going to be this long, but I like this one a _lot_, and I felt that cutting it up into another chapter would have ruined it.

I do like Hermione and Ron, a lot of people think I don't. I acutally have a plot for the story, so hang in there!

Once again, I want to thank everyone for the reviews and alerts and favorites! They really make my day. :) And they definatly make me upload faster. ) *nudgenudgewinkwink* :D


	10. Meet the Marauders

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWP - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THESE PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Ten**

**_Meet the Marauders_**

_Making the decision to have a child - it's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking outside your body._  
_~ Elizabeth Stone_

* * *

Draco woke up to the shriek of Harry's laughter. He was becoming quite used to it, and found he didn't mind it as much as he thought he would. Maybe today would be a pleasant day. Then Sirius Black's roaring laughter broke through his sleepy haze, and Draco groaned into his pillow, pulling it over his head groggily.

_And maybe not._

Suddenly, the room got very quiet. Draco frowned, and opened his eyes just as Sirius threw Harry up in the air. The raven boy flew through the air and landed on Draco with a Tarzan-like yell, laughing hysterically as Draco let out a very un-Malfoy-like shriek.

"GODDAMNIT BLACK!" he roared, trying to calm his erratically beating heart as Harry sat up on his stomach. "What the fucking _hell_ was that for?"

"Honestly, Mr. Malfoy, can't you control your language in front of a seven-year-old?"

Draco scowled, and turned to snap at whoever had spoke. He stopped when he saw someone he hadn't seen since third year sitting on the edge of the bed next to his.

"Professor Lupin?" The werewolf smiled wearily.

"I'm not 'Professor' anymore." he said lightly. "I'm afraid you'll just have to call me Lupin, or Remus, if you wish."

"What are you doing here?" Draco sat up, sending Harry tumbling to the foot of his bed. "Black, I think you cracked a few ribs."

Sirius grinned. "And that's how I get back for you stealing all my bloody coffee in New York, you little bugger."

"Go suck a chipmunk."

"Don't tell me you've got him saying it now." Remus chuckled, looking slightly mortified. "Good lord, Sirius, did you really teach that to him?"

"Not my fault he picked it up." Sirius said smugly.

"Oh yes it bloody is." Draco muttered. "Prof - er, Remus - you didn't answer my question. What are you doing here?"

"I'm a friend of Harry's."

"Friend, my ass." Sirius snorted. "You're like his bloody second father and you know it."

Remus smiled warmly. "I suppose so. I planned on bringing Teddy when I came to see Harry for the first time, but then we got an owl from Dumbledore saying Harry was in the hospital wing. _Again_."

"And I had to come immediately to make sure you didn't break my godson." Sirius said, flashing Draco a huge, sarcastic grin.

"I'm not broken." Harry laughed. "And Draco didn't break me - he saved me an' taught me how to fly!"

"Yes, about that," Sirius' eyes glinted dangerously. "Weren't you supposed to _wait_ for me to teach him?"

"Harry didn't want to wait, and he was driving me crazy." Draco retorted, massaging his abused ribcage.

"I wasn't driving you crazy!" Harry protested.

"You most certainly were."

"I was _not_!"

"You were to."

"Nuh-_uh_!"

"Boys!" Remus cut in amusedly. "Honestly, must you fight all the time?"

"This is not fighting." Draco muttered, crossing his arms over his chest. "This is friendly banter. With us, fighting usually involves hexes and fists."

"Either way, it's annoying." Remus said. "You go back and forth as badly as Lily and James did."

"You knew his parents?" Draco asked, surprised.

"Of course, I was one of his father's best friends. Haven't you ever heard of the Marauders? Don't tell me the Weasley twins outshone us _that_ badly." Remus gave Draco a humored look.

"Of course I've heard of them." Draco snapped. "They were the worst troublemakers in the history of Hogwarts. Padfoot, Prongs, Moony and Wormtail. Biggest gits I've ever heard of, and I've met Wormtail - right piece of shite he was."

Sirius smirked, then bowed dramatically. "_Padfoot_, at your service."

Remus touched two fingers to his forehead in a mock-salute. "Moony, if that wasn't blatantly obvious."

Draco gaped. "You're kidding me."

"Gave Snivillus hell!" Sirius crowed proudly. "Ah, Prongs and I had so much fun."

"Prongs?"

"My dad!" Harry said proudly. "He was a stag."

Draco quirked an eyebrow. "A _stag_? I thought Muggles called them _studs_."

Sirius choked on his laughter. "No, we're Animagus." he explained. "But don't tell anyone - it's a secret because we're unregistered."

"Way to _keep_ it a secret, Sirius." Remus shook his head.

"I never _once_ told anyone about your furry little problem!" Sirius said, offended.

"Because you knew what I'd do if you did." Remus replied smoothly.

Draco blinked. Did Black _really_ just refer to Remus' being a werewolf as the man's "furry little problem"?

"Unca Remus?" Harry piped up. "When can I meet Teddy?"

"Not until next weekend. He's at his grandmother's right now." Remus assured him. "But I promise, I'll bring him with me next time."

"Who's Teddy?" Draco asked. The name rang a distant bell.

Remus got an odd look on his face - almost as if he was conflicted about whether he should tell Draco something or not. "Teddy is my son."

Oh. Draco shifted uncomfortably on the bed.

_Will you baby-sit the cubs, Draco_?

Shuddering, he pushed the memory out of his mind. That time was long over. But that meant that Teddy was his cousin or something, right?

Great. More little kids in his life - just what he needed.

"-Draco?" Harry looked up to Draco, demanding his attention.

"What?" Draco refocused on the conversation, finding Harry looking up at him expectantly.

"Can we go to New York with Unca Sirius again?" Harry repeated, pushing his bottom lip out. "_Pleeeease_?"

Draco almost said yes. Almost.

But then he remembered the group of kids that had bothered them before. He remembered how they looked at him, and how they had looked at _Harry_. He had had to rely on Black to save his arse - and Draco hated relying on _anyone_. He had felt weak, as if even if he did use his wand he wouldn't have been able to protect himself and his small charge.

Draco had promised to himself at the end of the war that he'd always be able to protect himself and those he looked after. He wasn't about to let some bloody _Americans_ ruin that for him.

"On three conditions." Draco said after a few minutes.

"What do I have to do?" Harry asked eagerly. He looked ready to sell his soul back to the Dark Lord, if it meant that he could go back to the city.

"Not for you." Draco addressed Remus and Sirius. "One - you get Dumbledore to let me take Pansy as well. You wouldn't believe the bitching I had to put up with when she found out I went without her."

"Easy enough." Sirius said. "The old man owes me a favor anyway."

"Two - _no Trans-Atlantic Apparation_."

"Done." Remus answered for Sirius, who scowled. "I hate Trans-Atlantic, it's bloody awful. Planes may be longer, but they're so much nicer."

"You're going as well?"

"Of course. The only reason I wasn't there last time was because I was doing something for the Order."

"Alright, then." Draco eyed Sirius. The ex-convict wore a simple black t-shirt under his blazer, with a pair of dark jeans. Draco caught sight of the third condition beneath Sirius' jacket, and his resolve strengthened.

"Three - I want you to teach me to use a gun."

* * *

"For the love of god, don't point it at me!" Remus shoved the barrel of the gun down towards the ground.

"But it's unloaded." Draco argued.

He had been shocked to find out that it had been _Remus_ - Remus _Lupin_ - who had introduced the Muggle weapon to Sirius. Apparently, his father didn't trust anyone near his son after he had been beaten up because of his "condition" on several occasions, and had taught him to shoot when he was eight. Draco marveled at how Remus was able to hide the fact that he was - in Sirius's words - 'packing heat' his entire school career, and no one knew until Remus had freaked and pulled the gun on Sirius their seventh year. Both Remus and Sirius had refused to elaborate on why that had happened, and Draco didn't push it. He had a feeling he _really_ didn't want to know, and it was none of his business.

"Just because _you_ didn't load it doesn't mean it's not loaded! Always treat a gun as if it's loaded, Draco. My father nearly shot my mother once when he wasn't being careful." Remus' words were sharp.

Draco swallowed nervously. Remus had rarely gotten angry, no matter what the kids in any of his classes did. To hear him speak so sharply proved just how dangerous the weapon was.

"Sorry." Draco muttered.

Harry and Sirius were up in the castle, doing Merlin knew what. When Draco had finally asked, Sirius and Harry had exchanged a sly look and Draco dropped the subject immediately. He really, _really_ did not want to be a part of whatever they were planning. Remus had taken Draco down to the Forbidden Forest, and - forty minutes later - Draco was now learning how to properly shoot a gun. He had spent the past half hour learning the mechanics, and now he was actually going to put his hands on the weapon.

"Just don't do it again." Remus said, though not unkindly. "Alright, you see those targets I drew on the trees?" Draco nodded - they were roughly ten meters away. "I'm going to take this and shoot at the target on the middle tree. This first time's just to show you the damage a gun can actually do."

Draco nodded. "Alright."

"Step behind me," Remus ordered, taking the gun from Draco.

Draco stepped swiftly behind the werewolf, keeping the marked tree in sight. Remus took up an odd stance - his left foot behind his right, giving off the impression that Remus was bracing himself for something. He raised his arms - both hands on the gun - straight in front of him, the sights of the gun level with his eyes. Draco watched Remus' right forefinger fall to the trigger and squeeze three times rapidly. Each time, a loud roar came from the barrel, and the gun jerked up ever-so-slightly.

Remus lowered the weapon and let out a breath Draco wasn't aware he had been holding in. Remus nodded towards the tree. "Go look at the target."

Draco walked up to the tree, confident that Remus had missed. There were no gaping holes, no charred pieces of wood, no shredded bark. Black had said the bullets would rip a person to shreds. The tree bore no marks of damage.

However, as he inspected the tree trunk, he found three holes in a tight circle in the middle circle of the target. Each hole was at least five inches deep.

"It's not so bad." Draco shrugged. "Just a few holes."

"Imagine those holes in your head, or your chest. Through your lung, your heart, your brain, a major artery. You would bleed out in a matter of minutes, if not seconds." Remus said quietly.

Draco paled considerably. "But Black said you'd be ripped to shreds."

"That's only with hollow points. A regular bullet just puts a hole in you." Remus looked at the marks in the tree, almost sadly. "It takes a lot to kill someone, Draco, especially with a gun. With a spell, you don't have to watch them bleed out. You don't have to watch them die. Promise me that you won't abuse this."

"I won't." For a reason unbeknownst to him, Draco couldn't get the image of Harry's body bleeding out on the ground, riddled with holes that wouldn't stop bleeding. And what freaked Draco out the most was that the image wasn't seven-year-old Harry.

"Why don't you use hollow points?" Draco asked, clearing his throat. There was no use panicking about something that wouldn't happen.

"They're inhumane and regular bullets do the job just fine." came the clipped reply. "Do you want to try or not?"

"I suppose." Oh, hell yes he did.

"Back there, then." Remus propelled Draco back to the spot from where he'd fired. "No, put your hands where mine are on the gun."

Remus stood behind Draco, his arms wrapped around Draco's as he showed him how to properly hold the weapon, and how to aim through the sights. Draco didn't understand why his heart sped up as he felt Remus' breath on the back of his neck.

"Take a breath to steady yourself before you shoot," Remus said, his low voice vibrating in his chest. "Don't release it until a second after you've pulled the trigger. You okay for me to let go?"

Draco nodded jerkily. Remus' reassuring weight left his arms and back and Draco's arms dipped under the weight of the gun.

"Keep your arms steady," Remus instructed. "The guns kicks back."

Draco set his jaw and put his finger on the trigger, just as Remus had shown him. He felt a sudden rush of adrenaline, as if he were capable of everything and anything. This was _power_. He could turn on Remus and destroy him right _now_.

Draco grinned maliciously, and pulled the trigger. There was the loud roar like before, but his arms snapped up with the backward force of the gun. The metal hit his face with a blinding speed, and Draco felt his nose shatter. He dropped the gun immediately, nearly falling over as he brought his hands up to his face.

"Son of a _bitch_!"

"I told you to keep your arms steady. I did warn you, you know." Remus scolded softly, sounding amused. "Here, let me have a look."

Draco allowed Remus to gently take his hands away from his nose. Taking Draco's chin in his fingers, Remus examined the bloodied nose. Draco's heart sped up and then nearly stopped as his old professor's golden eyes were suddenly in front of him. Remus' hands were surprisingly soft, and Draco tried to steady his own hands as they began to shake. He didn't quite understand why he was getting so worked up over his _professor_. The man was at least three times his age, and for Merlin's sake - he was a _man_! Draco couldn't _honestly_ be attracted to a _man_!

And yet…

And yet his hands were soft, and his eyes kind. Draco fought back tears of frustration as he realized that he mentally changed Remus' eye color to green, and darkened his hair about ten shades, after adding an unusual scar on his forehead.

_This isn't fair_.

Remus sighed. "Yes, that's broken, alright. Stay still, let me fix it." He pulled out his wand. "_Episky_."

Draco's nose grew warm and tingled, and he scrunched it experimentally. "Thanks."

"No problem. You know," Remus chuckled. "Harry did the same exact thing. Shattered his glasses and his nose, just like you. God, but Sirius couldn't stop laughing. Harry chucked the gun at him, if I remember correctly."

"That's dangerous, isn't it?" Draco had an image of a bleeding Potter throwing the metal object at Sirius, screaming obscenities. It was quite an amusing scenario, actually.

"The gun wasn't loaded, he took the magazine out first. Sirius had a bruise on his forehead nearly the size of a dinner plate."

Draco sniggered. "Serves him right, he shouldn't have laughed."

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Good." Remus smiled, sending butterflies through Draco's stomach. "I suppose we should go back to the castle, then. I don't trust the two of them together for very long. Last time I did, they nearly blew Grimmlund Place up."

* * *

I told you I wouldn't forget about who introduced the gun to Sirius! And I didn't. ;) Only one person was able to guess who it was, so this chapter goes out to Wolfy Pup! Good job! :D I was surprised at how many people thought that Lily had introduced the gun to Sirius, and I suppose that makes sense, but Remus is just so much more manly. XD


	11. Scars Don't Heal

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWP - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Eleven**

**_Scars Don't Heal_**

_"A new baby is like the beginning of all things-wonder, hope, a dream of possibilities."_

_Eda J. Le Shan quotes_

* * *

The next few weeks passed very quickly. Remus and Sirius visited every weekend, always bringing Teddy with them. Teddy, like Harry, had taken an immediate liking to Draco and had also taken to keeping his hair blonde. Harry loved playing with his newfound friend, though Draco wasn't so sure Teddy shared the sentiment after Harry had accidentally knocked him off a bed.

Remus continued his lessons with Draco, and soon Draco was able to shoot (_without_ hitting himself in the face) the gun properly. His aim needed much improvement, but Remus assured him it would indeed improve. However, Remus still wouldn't allow the boy to get his own weapon. His reasons was that the gun was dangerous, which Draco had snorted at.

"Shouldn't you take my wand, then? Isn't that dangerous?" he had drawled sarcastically.

Remus had given him a Look, the one that all parents have mastered, the one with a capital _L_, that said not to test his patience or Draco would indeed find himself without a wand.

Harry's relationship with the Gryffindors, though strained, were still slowly improving. He enjoyed reading with Granger, and even allowed the Weasel to help Blaise teach him about Quidditch. Draco would have loved to have helped as well, but Blaise had snapped at him one day, declaring that if Pansy got to play Harry's "mother", then he'd be damned if he wasn't going to show "Bitsy Potter" (as he had sneered so lovingly, Draco noticed) that he wasn't that bad, either. Blaise claimed that he simply wanted Potter to back off once he was older again, but Draco had a sneaking suspicion that Blaise enjoyed being around Harry.

The Gryffindors loved to tell Harry stories of when he was older. At first, the stories made Harry feel uncomfortable and like he wasn't good enough as a little kid, and Draco would roll his eyes at how much the Gryffindors went _on_ and _on _about their Golden Boy. But they quickly ran out of hero stories, and settled with tales of how anyone who startled the eighteen-year-old would have to duck very quickly, because he would throw anything within his reach at a startling height of accuracy, speed and strength. Or of how Harry had once spelled all the girls' four-poster bed curtains shut because the girls were moaning about how they looked terrible in the mornings. His logic had been, apparently, if the girls couldn't get out of bed to look in a mirror, they couldn't complain about how they looked. Draco began to find himself looking forward to learning something new about the Chosen One, and couldn't find it in himself to hate the new development.

The second trip to New York had been just as memorable as the first. Dumbledore had allowed Pansy to go as well, and when Draco told her she hugged him so hard he was _sure_ she broke his back. Sirius had shown them all the different sights, from the Empire State Building to the Statue of Liberty, Times Square to Central Park, and everything in between. Draco had found himself falling in love with the unusual city, and, after seeing the Wizard's side of New York, decided that he'd consider moving there after he finished Hogwarts. Most American wizards didn't know much about the War with the Dark Lord, and Draco relished the feeling of being unknown for once in his life. He had even had a teen _compliment_ his Dark Mark after catching sight of it, claiming it was the coolest tattoo he'd ever seen. Yes, Draco was very seriously considering moving to New York.

It was a Tuesday night, about seven weeks after The Indecent when Draco found out that even if Harry wanted to forget about his scars, he couldn't.

"Harry, stop jumping on the bed." Draco called from his bathroom. He was brushing his teeth, trying to get ready to fall asleep in said bed. It was late, and he had only just finished his homework. Draco was exhausted, and he was snapping at Harry more than usual. The boy had very quickly realized that by leaving Draco alone, he was less likely to get yelled at. However, he was only seven.

"Don' - wanna!" Harry's words came out in time with each bounce.

Draco came out of the bathroom and leaned on the doorframe, loosening his tie. He was too tired to even try to stop the smile that formed as he watched as Harry used his bed as a trampoline.

"Come on, stop it. What happens if you fall?"

"I won't!" Harry laughed. No sooner had the words left his mouth did his legs buckle as he hit the bed the wrong way. He tumbled off the bed, landing hard on his back.

Draco winced as he crossed the room. "You alright?" he asked, crouching next to the small boy. "That was pretty nasty."

"Yeah," Harry mumbled, voice strained. "My back hurts."

"It's _going_ to hurt - you just landed on it." Draco straightened and held out his hand to the boy.

Harry took it and tried to haul himself up. Suddenly, his body seized up and he let out a blood-curdling shriek. He dropped Draco's hand as if it were on fire as he crumpled on his side, keeping his back off the floor. Draco watched in horrified shock as the young boy writhed on the floor, obviously in intense pain. Without thinking, Draco fell to his knees, then reached out and took Harry's hands in his.

"It hurts, it hurts," Harry cried as Draco took his head into his lap.

Careful not to touch his back, Draco soothed the young boy. "I'm right here, it's alright, I'm here, Harry. I'm not leaving, I'll never leave you, I promise."

Draco, upon learning that Madame Pomfrey knew of Harry's scars, had demanded she tell him everything about caring for scars as brutal as his. She explained to him the scars as prominent as Harry's usually signified that the wounds had not been properly healed. Scars such as those, she said, sometimes damage nerve endings very severely. If twisted the wrong way, they could cause very severe, very _painful_ seizures. Madame Pomfrey had assured Draco that never _once_ in her six and a half years of being Harry's nurse had he had a seizure, and insisted that the boy's scars looked much worse than they actually were. Draco forced her to tell him what to do if a seizure did happen - he wanted to be prepared. "You just wait it out," she finally said tiredly. "Hold his head if you can so he doesn't hit it on anything, and just wait it out. You don't need to bring him to me unless he's bleeding when it's over. But I'm telling you, Mr. Malfoy - Harry Potter has never had a seizure before in his _life_."

_Well looks like you were wrong, you wretched, pathetic excuse of a healer_. Draco thought bitterly as he watched helplessly as Harry endured what must have been one of the most painful experiences of his life. Draco had the sneaking suspicion that Harry had seizures when he was older, as well. _Bloody Gryffindor must've hid them so no one worried about him_.

After a very long five minutes, Harry's bit-back cries died out and he stopped shaking. Draco stroked his hair softly, murmuring useless words of comfort. Aside from the first startled scream, Harry had refuse to cry out. Instead, Draco watched as Harry turned his head to the side and spat out a mouthful of blood, coughing violently.

_Oh sweet Merlin_, Draco's eyes widened. A wave of nausea hit Draco as he realized that Harry bit his tongue so he wouldn't scream.

Gingerly, Draco picked Harry up, making sure his hands didn't go near the boy's scars. Harry wrapped his arms around Draco's neck and buried his face in the juncture of the blonde's neck and shoulder. The small body in his arms shook violently as Harry fought not to cry.

"It's alright, Harry," Draco whispered, surprised to find his eyes burning with hot tears. "It's over now, you're okay, I promise. You can cry, if you want. I won't tell anyone."

"No," Harry choked. "I c-can't cry!"

"Why not?" Draco wanted to shake the young child, wanted to force him to cry. It wasn't healthy for Harry to keep his tears locked up, especially not when he was so young. Little kids should cry. Why wouldn't Harry? But he kept his voice quiet, and hoped Harry would answer.

"C-cuz no one likes a-a cry ba-by." Harry gasped out. He was trying so hard not to cry, trying so hard to please those around him. "If I c-cry, you wo-won't like me no m-more."

A little rougher than he intended, Draco pulled Harry's face away from his neck. He took Harry's chin in his fingers, forcing the child to meet his eyes. "Look at me, Harry."

Harry shut his eyes, and stubbornly shook his head.

"_Look. At. Me._" Draco growled.

Harry reluctantly opened his eyes, and gasped quietly. Draco was certain it came as a shock - he never allowed himself to cry in front of _anyone_, not even his mother.

"Am I a crybaby?" Draco asked quietly.

Harry shook his head slowly, seemingly mesmerized by the hot tears finding their way down Draco's cheek. He reached out slowly, pressing his fingertips to the wet rivers on Draco's cheeks.

"Don't you _ever_ say that I won't like you simply because you cried, Harry." Draco's voice shook. He pressed Harry back to his chest, and was relived when he felt his neck getting wet. "My _god_, Harry, you scared me so badly. Didn't I tell you not to jump on the bed?" Draco shut his eyes tightly, trying to will away a memory that came unbidden to his mind.

_Harry, their third year, on his broom, about to close in on the Snitch. The Dementors circle him and he goes rigid, fingers inches away from the tiny golden ball. He opens his mouth in a wordless cry as he begins to shake, before falling off his broom, to the dark land below._

"I-I'm sorry!" Harry cried, chasing away Draco's most recent nightmare. "I wa-was just p-pl-playing."

"I know, I know." Draco sat back, his back against the bed. "But you need to be _careful_. I can't imagine that you actually _like_ these seizures."

"I don'," Harry whispered. He sniffed, his shaking subsiding. "I don' like getting hurt."

"No one does," Draco murmured, thinking of all the times Harry had ended up in the Hospital Wing. He remembered once, in the very beginning of their forth year, he had gone into the Hospital Wing to get a pain killer for Pansy.

"_Madame Pomfrey!" Draco called, stepping into the infirmary. "Pansy needs pain killers for her cramps, and for the sanity of Slytherin, I beseech you to give me medication to sedate her."_

"_I'm over here, Mr. Malfoy." Her reply came from behind a curtain around a bed._

"_Who's in here this early? It's the third day of school!" Draco inquired, joining Madame Pomfrey behind the curtain. He sneered when he saw who it was. "What could Potter have possibly gotten into already?"_

_Madame Pomfrey sighed, and rubbed a salve on a particularly nasty bruise under the raven's eye. "During the Quidditch World Cup. A couple of those terrible Death Eaters caught him and decided to rough him up a bit."_

_Draco thought "a bit" was too kind. The entire left side of Potter's face was bruised and his nose was very obviously broken. There were cuts close to his eyes that suggested his glasses had been broken and the glass from the lenses had been roughly shoved into the tender skin around his eyes The sheets were pulled down around his waist, and bandages were wound tightly around his ribcage. His stomach and chest sported several nasty yellow and black bruises. He looked much too skinny, as if he hadn't eaten properly for a while. A thick coat of dried blood stained what little skin was shown._

"_His arm's broken, he has six fractured ribs, a punctured lung, and a severe concussion." Madame Pomfrey rattled off. "Whoever did this to him must have really, truly hated him. He didn't even have time to fight back. And, I assure you, he'd have fought back."_

_Draco rolled his eyes. "Potter's too much of a Goody-Two Shoes to actually hurt anyone, even if he was defending himself."_

_Madame Pomfrey raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? Remind me to have you come down here when it's time for his painkillers next time he's awake." She pointed to a nasty bruise that was forming on her cheek. "I'll let you give them to him. See how much of a Goody-Two Shoes he is then."_

"_He _hit_ you?" Draco was shocked._

"_He wasn't aiming for me." Pomfrey grimaced. "I needed to call upon the Headmaster and Professor Snape to hold him down while I attempted to sedate him because he wouldn't let me near him. He aimed for Professor Snape, and I got in the way."_

"_Well why wouldn't he just take the painkillers?" Draco shook his head._

"_Well…" Madame Pomfrey hesitated. She was very obviously hiding something as she tried to find a good excuse. She'd've made a terrible Slytherin. "Mr. Potter does not like having his judgment impaired by the medicine."_

_Draco rolled his eyes. "Bloody Gryffindor."_

"_Behave, Mr. Malfoy." Madame Pomfrey said sternly. "And do not wake him up, I will not be happy if you do."_

_Draco snorted. "Oh, please. Even I wouldn't want to do jack shit to him when he looks like this."_

_Tsk-ing at his language, she walked out of the room. "I'll bring you Ms. Parkinson's medicine."_

_Draco narrowed his eyes. Death Eaters did _not_ beat up their victims. They _always _used the Cruciatus Curse - no exceptions. Not even Harry Potter. And those bruises looked way too old to be from the World Cup. Draco quirked an eyebrow, smirking as, for once, he left Potter alone._

_It seemed Harry Potter had been the first Gryffindor to tell a lie._

"Draco?" Harry whispered.

Draco and Harry had been sitting on Draco's bed for nearly fifteen minutes. Harry stopped crying and was content with simply sitting on Draco's lap, being cared for and comforted for the first time in his life.

"Draco," he said again, a little louder. He picked his head up off Draco's shoulder and looked at the boy. He smiled when he saw that his guardian was sleeping.

"I wish I was brave like you," he said quietly. Harry frowned when he saw the trails the tears had left on Draco's cheeks. "And you shouldn't cry cuz of me. I'm not worth it."

Ever since he had come to this castle, Draco had been the only person who he trusted. Draco _had _been mean sometimes, but he really did try to be nice. He knew that Harry liked treacle tarts, and that Harry didn't like the red-haired people because he didn't like the way they looked at Draco. Draco knew that Harry wanted a white kitten, and that his favorite color wasn't red or green, but blue.

When Harry had gotten hurt from his broom accident, Draco had been so scared. He tried to pretend he wasn't, but Harry could tell anyway. He knew because Draco's hands shook when he had tickled him, and he was polite (or at least more so than normal) to Ron Weasley, and he didn't let anyone except that nice nurse near Harry. Not even Pansy or Blaise. Draco had been scared, and that made Harry upset. He didn't want to be the reason Draco was scared, not ever.

Harry rested his head on Draco's shoulder. He took his glasses off and put them on the floor - they were hurting his nose.

Draco groaned, and, frowning, he tightened his hold on Harry's waist, muttering something under his breath.

_He's having a bad dream_. Harry though, curling up in a small ball on Draco's lap. The blonde's hands were on Harry's back, but Harry didn't mind. They didn't hurt him, even though his scars did. He liked when Draco held him, even though he didn't do it often. It made Harry feel safe.

Harry let out a content sigh. He'd tell Draco he was okay in the morning. He snuggled into the blonde's chest, stopping when his cheek brushed against something under Draco's shirt. Harry frowned. It felt like his back.

Carefully, Harry unbuttoned Draco's shirt. He hadn't changed out of his school clothes before Harry fell off the bed, so he was still in his school uniform. Harry only undid half the buttons, careful not to wake Draco. He let out a small gasp when he saw the scar running across Draco's chest.

Eyes wide, Harry followed the scar from Draco's left shoulder down to his ribcage on his right. It was an offensive wound - Harry knew very well what scars looked like when someone else gave them to a person.

"Who did that to you?" Harry whispered, almost fearfully.

Tentatively, he reached out and traced the scar with his small fingers. Flashes of memories he didn't think he had sped past his eyes.

"_- can't do this anymore -"_

"_He'll kill me and my family, I can't fail!"_

_Grey eyes meet green in a fogged, cracked mirror._

_Fear and rage clash, and a pounding throb hurts Harry's chest._

Harry screwed his eyes shut, trying to understand the wave of emotions the memories brought.

"_Cruc-"_

"_Sectumsempra!"_

_Ripping of fabric and skin. Blood, lots of blood staining a familiar head of platinum hair. Panic - mind-blown panic. And fear._

Harry snatched his hand back, shuddering. He didn't know what happened exactly, but one thing was clear, even to him.

Harry had given Draco the scar.

* * *

FIRST THINGS FIRST! I don't know if what I did to explain the seziures is actually true or not. I'm not a doctor, I don't have scars of my own, I don't know if this would actually happen. But, because this is the world of fanfiction, anyone who points out that the seziures couldn't actually happen, I say stick it in your juice box and suck it.

Now. I am SO sorry I took so long to update! School ends on Monday - can you believe that? And then I've got tests on Tues. 6/15, Thurs. 6/17, and Tues. 6/22 and then I'm FREE! :D Then I'll try to add two chapters a week, instead of just one. :) I've started several other fics, but my policy is that I will only have one in-progress fic at a time, otherwise I'll lose track and ignore one fic. :) I promise, Ill have a new chapter up at the end of the week! All I've gotta do is edit chapter 12, and I'm done. :D


	12. Start To Forgive

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWP - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Twelve**

**_Start To Forgive_**

_I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift would be curiosity._

_~ Eleanor Roosevelt_

* * *

"I just don't get it!" Draco whispered furiously. He gestured over to Harry, who was reading with Granger in one of the cushiony chairs of the library. The four had made their way to the library after dinner, to try to get some homework done. "He used to never let go of me, and now he won't even hug me!"

"Aw, is Draco jealous other people are getting some lovin' from your little minion?" Pansy cooed mockingly. "Relax, would you? I'm sure you're just imagining it. Besides, I thought you didn't like it when he hugged you." She eyed him suspiciously.

Draco scowled. "I don't." he hissed. "It's just odd that he so very suddenly doesn't want anything to do with me. Everything was just fine just two nights ago, and now it's like I've got the plague!"

"Well it's been almost two months." Pansy went back to her essay. "Maybe he's starting to hate you again."

"He doesn't hate me." Draco snapped.

"No, seven-year-old Harry doesn't hate you. But eighteen-year-old Potter sure does."

"If he hated me, would he have apologized sixth year?" Draco asked triumphantly.

"That's a Gryffindor thing." Pansy waved her hand dismissively. "And it was a terrible curse. I don't think Potter'd have used it on the Dark Lord. For Merlin's sake, the boy used _Expelleriamus_ to kill the biggest Dark Lord we've ever had. And he didn't even try to kill him, he just let the curse bounce off him! You think he didn't feel bad about _cursing _and nearly _killing_ you?"

"That's not the point." Draco groaned. "Fine - Potter hates me. But _Harry_ shouldn't! I don't get it!"

"Could it be possible you're overreacting?" Pansy asked.

"I do _not_ overreact."

"Oh really? So when you dramatically screamed - excuse me, _proclaimed -_ through the _entire_ Slytherin common room in September that you would _never_ speak to me again because I hid my new thong in your pillow case as a surprise for Blaise - it is _so_ not my fault you two switched beds and didn't tell me, - that wasn't an overreaction?"

"Of course not."

Pansy rolled her eyes as Harry ran up to their desk.

"Draco?" he whispered excitedly.

"Yes?" The blonde continued to scowl at Pansy.

"Can I sleep in Gryffindor tonight?" Harry's wide eyes pleaded silently.

Pansy's eyebrows shot up into her hairline. Draco blinked once, processing what Harry had asked, turned to face Harry, then cleared his throat. "You…You don't want to sleep with me?" He winced at how that had sounded - pathetic, weak. As if he couldn't stand to be away from Harry.

"I wanna see Gryffindor! And Hermione said she'll show me all my stuff that she can't take from the tower. Please, Draco?"

Draco wanted to say no so very badly. He wanted to tell Harry that he couldn't go with the Gryffindors, wanted to remind him that he was still a Slytherin for the next couple of months. But as the silence grew, and Harry's eyes began to look even more disappointed, Draco gave in.

"Yeah, sure." he muttered distractedly, turning back to his essay. Anything to get away from those pleading emerald eyes. "Do what you want, I don't care."

Granger smiled, almost a bit smugly. "I told you he wouldn't care. Come on, Harry. Everyone's missed you so much!"

Harry frowned at Draco's answer. Hermione didn't seem to notice how hurt Draco sounded. Maybe he shouldn't go to Gryffindor. It might hurt Draco's feelings. Hermione took his hand and began leading him out of the library.

"Draco?" he asked, letting go of Hermione's hand and walking back to Draco. "Are you sure it's okay?"

Draco slammed his quill down and looked up, glaring at Harry. "I already told you yes! Just _go_ already, Potter!" Draco swept all his things into his bag and stormed out of the library. Pansy gave Harry a pitying look, hugged him quickly with a whispered _I'll take care of him_, and followed Draco out of the library.

"Oh, Harry," Hermione said soothingly. She drew Harry into her arms. "I told you, didn't I? Malfoy will only hurt your feelings. You should stay in Gryffindor more, that way you don't have to put up with the Slytherins."

Harry was confused. Why was she talking as if he was the one whose feelings were hurt? Didn't she see that Draco was almost crying? Didn't she hear how choked he sounded?

"Let go," Harry mumbled as he pushed Hermione away.

Hermione smiled reassuringly at him. "That's right, don't let Malfoy hurt your feelings!"

Harry opened his mouth to say he wanted to go back to Slytherin, then closed it. Draco wouldn't go back to Slytherin for a while, Harry knew him better than to think that's where he'd go. And Harry didn't know the castle. But Hermione had told him about a map he owned that would tell him the way to wherever Draco was. And she had said something about a cloak that would turn him invisible.

"Can we go to Gryffindor now?" Harry asked, faking a yawn and rubbing his eyes as if he were falling asleep on the spot. "I'm tired."

"Of course."

Hermione brought him back to the tower and was disappointed when Harry wanted to go straight to bed.

"Everyone's missed you, Harry!" she protested. The Gryffindors that had gathered in the common room agreed, and Harry had to stop himself from pointing out that if they had _really_ missed him as much as they claimed they did, they'd've visited him when he was in Slytherin like Ron and Hermione did.

"I'm tired." Harry said stubbornly, scowling. The teens finally gave in, and Ron brought Harry to the boy's dormitories.

"Do you want to sleep in my bed?" Ron asked almost hopefully, as if he wanted to show Harry he could be just as good a babysitter, if not better, as Draco. "I mean, Malfoy's always complaining about you sleeping in his bed, and I wouldn't mind sharing a bed if that's what you want."

"I'm a big boy, I can sleep by myself." Harry scowled. He still didn't really like Ron as much as he apparently used to, even though the red-head helped Blaise teach him Quidditch, and had taught him how to play Wizard's chess.

"I was just asking." Ron stopped by one of the beds. "This is your bed, mate."

"Okay."

"Here," Ron pulled a t-shirt out of a trunk from the foot of Harry's bed. "You can sleep in this, I guess."

"Thanks." Harry started at Ron in the unnerving, unblinking way that children do until Ron finally left. He waited until he head the dormitory door slam, then began searching for the map and cloak, and planning his escape.

Harry took a pillow off one of the other beds and shoved it under the covers of his own. Hopefully, if anyone came in to check on him, it would look like he had burrowed under his sheets. He then ransacked his trunk, not sure of what exactly he was looking for.

At the bottom of the trunk sat a folded cloak and an old piece of parchment. Harry grabbed both. The parchment, to his disappointment, was blank. Harry huffed angrily.

"Damnit!" he swore.

"I don't think you should be saying that when you're seven."

Harry jumped, and tried to hide the mess behind him. He turned, head hung low. He was in trouble now, and he never liked it when he got into trouble. Harry was used to getting hurt when he got into trouble.

A round-faced boy stood at the edge of the circle of beds, smiling kindly at Harry. "You want to go find Malfoy, don't you?"

Harry paled, but nodded shyly.

"Alright then." The boy walked over to Harry, and began packing the strewn things into his trunk. "My name's Neville. I'm sorry I haven't come see you in Slytherin, but I've got my own issues with Malfoy that I don't want to get into. Here," he gave Harry a long, polished stick of wood. "This is your wand. Please don't blow anything up with it, I'll get into a lot of trouble."

"I won't." Harry said, awed. The second his hands closed around the smooth handle, a warm feeling shot through his arm and gold sparks flew from the tip of the wand.

"Now," Neville said, pointing to the parchment. "You see this paper?" Harry nodded. "Tap it with your wand, and say _I solemnly swear I am up to no good_."

Harry obliged, and, after two tries, gasped when ink began forming words and lines on the paper. He never grew tired of watching magic at work.

"To clear it, say _mischief managed_." Neville explained. "Put your cloak on and I'll help you get out of the Tower."

"Thank you!" Harry said, beaming at Neville.

"No problem." Neville winked at him. "Just don't tell anyone I helped you sneak out."

"I won't." Harry promised, knowing he had just made a new friend.

Ten minutes later, Harry was out in the halls, making his way to the bathroom Draco was in. He got lost several times, and tripped over the much-too-long cloak almost once every five minutes. Finally, he found the right bathroom. Carefully, he opened the door, and peered inside.

"I already told you yes! Just _go_ already, Potter!" Draco snarled, before gathering his things and fleeing the library. He fought back the tears welling up in his eyes.

_Stop crying, you sodding idiot!_ he berated himself. _Of course he's going to want to hang out with the other Gryffindors. Besides, you're only being nice to him because he's a little kid. You hate him, you don't care about what he thinks._

So why did it hurt so damn much to have him choose the Gryffindors over him?

Blindly, Draco ran into the bathroom he had spent so many hours in in his sixth year. He threw his bag down on the ground, and proceeded over to the windows, grateful that the bathroom was void of its usual translucent inhabitant. He sat on one of the sills, and buried his face in his hands.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid_, he chided. _You can't actually be friends with Harry Potter. He's the Golden Boy, the Chosen One! You're Draco Malfoy, ex-Death Eater. You know better, damnit!_

The door to the girl's loo creaked opened. "Draco?" Pansy called softly.

Draco grunted, never raising his head. Pansy sighed, and crossed the bathroom to sit next to her best friend.

"Draco, he wasn't ignoring you. He just wants to be with his other friends. It wasn't a snub, and you know it."

"I know," Draco pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. "Damnit, I know!"

"So why the scene?"

"Because he's mine." Draco said softly, hating himself as he finally admitted it. "Because _I'm_ the one he curls up against at night, _I'm_ the one who can get him to laugh until he can't breathe, _I'm_ the one who knows his favorite color is blue, _I'm_ the one who knows about his scars! Not Granger or Weasley or even Black or Remus, _me_!" Draco groaned and hit his head against the stone wall behind him. "Pans, I think I'm in love with him."

"So am I." Pansy said simply. She wound an arm around his shoulders. "Draco, he's a little kid that you've been taking care of for the past two months. You're bound to feel _something_ for him, you know. You just love him, but I can promise you that you're not _in_ love with him."

"It sure feels like I am."

"You feel protective, right?" Pansy continued, ignoring his comment. "And you like to see him smile? You're proud when he does something incredible?"

Draco nodded.

"That's how most parents feel, Drake." Pansy said gently. "You're beginning to feel like his father, which is completely understandable -"

"I'm not his father."

"But you're proud of him like you are."

Draco didn't answer. He didn't tell Pansy that he knew his feelings for Harry were paternal. He didn't tell her that it was his feelings for the eighteen-year-old Savior that he was worried about.

"I don't know if I can do this anymore." Draco said quietly. "What happens in less than two months, when he's back to being our age? What happens to me and you and Blaise and every other Slytherin that's gotten to love him like one of our own? Are we supposed to just walk away? Just allow ourselves to have our hearts broken _again_?"

"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it." Pansy replied softly. "I know it hurts, sweetheart, I understand -"

"No, you don't!" Draco was suddenly very angry with the girl next to him. She didn't understand. She would _never_ understand. He furiously shrugged Pansy's arm off, dangerously close to shouting. "You can't understand! Just get _out_, Parkinson! _Go_!"

Pansy looked hurt, but she stood and walked out of the bathroom all the same. He knew that she understood that Draco was going to breakdown soon, and, like a proper pureblood, she would allow him the dignity of losing control in private, without an audience. She would be back to pick up the pieces later, when Draco would let her.

Draco was hit with a wave of loneliness as he watched her leave, and he sank to the floor, holding back sobs.

"This isn't fair," he groaned. "This just isn't fucking _fair_!"

He didn't notice the door opening _ever_ so slightly. He didn't hear the soft patter of small feet, nor did he see a silvery cloak fall to the ground, for his face was buried in his knees. So, when a small voice called his name, his natural reaction was to draw his wand and aim it at his offender without even looking up. Imagine his surprise as he realized he was pointing his wand at a kneeling Harry. Hastily, he shoved it back into his bag.

"What are you doing here?" Draco furiously wiped his eyes with the back of his hands.

"I was scared." Harry said. His lower lip trembled, but he continued to stare at Draco unwaveringly.

"Why?"

"You're upset."

Draco flushed. "I most certainly am _not_."

"Don't lie to me." Merlin, but Harry didn't sound seven. Maybe the spell was wearing off on its own. There was no way that a seven year old could sound so full of authority. "Why are you sad?"

Draco hugged his knees to his chest. "It's complicated."

Harry sat down, and stared at Draco with wide eyes. "I can understand."

Draco groaned, and weighed his options. He _really_ didn't want to tell Harry what he was feeling, but Harry would know if he was lying. He was good at that. "I…I miss you," he admitted finally.

"I was only gone half a' hour." Harry said, confused.

"No, I…" Draco took a deep breath. "You used to hug me all the time." he said, somewhat lamely. "You don't anymore. I miss that."

"But you always said you didn't like me hugging you." Harry frowned.

"I lied." Draco lifted his head to look into Harry's emerald eyes. "Why won't you hug me anymore?" He hated how pained he sounded. He hated the fact that Potter would remember this when he was eighteen again.

Harry flushed, and broke eye contact to stare at the floor. "You got a scar like mine." he said quietly.

"What are you talking about?" Draco frowned, and reached over his shoulder to run his hand over the top of his back, as if to reassure himself.

"No," Harry crawled onto Draco's lap after pushing his legs down, and placed the palm of his hand over the center of Draco's scar. "_Here_. You have a scar."

Draco paled. "W-when did you see that?"

"Two nights ago." Harry's lip trembled worse. Then, so quietly that Draco almost missed it, "It's my fault."

"No, it's not." Draco said automatically. "It's not your fault, you didn't do it -"

"Don't lie to me!" Harry said fiercely, staring angrily at where Draco's scar lay under his shirt. Tears welled up in his eyes. "I…I 'member! I 'member yellin' and arguin' an' I 'member sayin' somethin' an'-an'-an' there was lots of blood an' you….an' it's _my fault_!"

The young boy burst into tears, and buried his face in his hands.

"No, no, don't cry!" Draco panicked. Son of a _bitch_, he wasn't supposed to learn about that! He wasn't supposed to remember anything! "Harry, it's alright!"

"No it's n-not!" Harry shouted. "I-it's _not_ okay, it's a-all m-my fault!"

Draco, ignoring Harry's protests, wrapped his arms around the small child tightly. "It's okay, it's okay," he soothed. He felt sick. Harry hadn't been avoiding him, he'd been scared to touch him.

"I don' wanna hurt you," Harry sobbed, clinging to Draco's shirt. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"It's alright," Draco closed his eyes, and softly stroked Harry's hair, rocking him gently. It was what his mother had done for him whenever he was inconsolable. He hummed a lullaby she used to sing to him, hoping it would calm the raven down.

After a while, Harry's breathing evened out, and no new waves of tears drenched Draco's shirt.

"I don' wanna hurt you," Harry mumbled sleepily, hiccupping quietly.

"I know you don't. It's okay, I forgave you a long time ago. You cried when you apologized last time as well." Draco pressed his cheek to Harry's hair, relishing in the young boy's faint scent of raspberries and chocolate.

Harry curled up smaller, barely awake now. After all, long, hard cries were exhausting. "Draco?"

"Yes?" Already Draco was planning to take Harry back to Slytherin. He'd send one of the first years to Gryffindor to tell Weasley and Granger that Harry was safe. Screw them, these next two months were _his_.

"I love you."

"I can't believe he snuck out!" Ron muttered. "Why did he come if he was just gonna sneak out?"

"I don't know." Hermione snapped. "I never should've told him about the map or the cloak! I knew that was stupid the moment it left my mouth!"

Ron and Hermione hurried down the halls, trying to figure out where their best friend may have been.

"I hope he didn't get lost." Ron said, turning a corner. "That would bite bollocks, that would."

"Language, Ronald." Hermione stopped short and pulled Ron behind a Knight's armor.

"What the hell?"

"Shh!" She peered around the armor.

Pansy Parkinson came out of a door, muttering angrily to herself. She swept past Ron and Hermione's hiding place without noticing them.

"Goddamn Gryffindors," Hermione heard her mutter darkly. "They have the rest of Harry's life to spend with him! They can't give Draco four measly months to himself? Is he going to corrupt their lion king? Stupid, selfish, bastardly _Gryffindors!_"

Grumbling, Parkinson disappeared down the hall. Hermione narrowed her eyes, and motioned for Ron to follow her silently. When the door opened a second time, they managed to squeeze in after whoever opened it, and found themselves in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Draco Malfoy sat in a curled ball on the floor at the far end of the bathroom, shaking.

Hermione and Ron hid behind the stalls, making sure they weren't seen. Ron muffled Hermione's gasp with his hand when Harry appeared very suddenly in front of Malfoy.

"Draco?" Harry asked quietly, kneeling in front of the Slytherin.

Malfoy's wand whipped up to point at Harry's throat before Malfoy lifted his head. Harry blinked once, not moving. When Malfoy figured out who it was his wand was hastily shoved back into his bag.

"What are you doing here?" Malfoy snapped, rubbing his eyes. Ron's eyes widened, and Hermione's chest tightened as the two Gryffindors realized that Malfoy had been crying.

"I was scared," Harry didn't sound scared, though. More worried than anything else.

Malfoy tried to scowl, but it came out looking pained. "Why?"

"You're upset."

"I most certainly am _not_." Malfoy's glassy eyes contradicted his statement, as did the rosy blush that made its appearance on his cheeks.

"Don't lie to me." Hermione's lips twitched. Harry _hated_ when people lied to him. Hermione thought it stemmed from being lied to by his aunt and uncle for the first ten years of his life that he lived with them, but Harry scoffed when she had tried to explain her psychological views on his head. He often told her that his mind was a scary place, and if she tried to delve any further than she already had she'd end up next to Neville's parents in St. Mungo's. "Why are you sad?"

Malfoy drew his knees up to his chest. "It's complicated."

Harry sat, rather than kneeling on the hard floor. "I can understand." he said simply.

Malfoy groaned. He didn't reply for a few minutes, and when he did, it wasn't the response either hidden Gryffindor expected.

"I…" he cleared his throat. "I miss you." He sounded almost ashamed to be admitting that he actually _missed_ Harry Potter.

"I was only gone half a' hour." Harry protested softly.

Hermione frowned. Malfoy wasn't making much sense. Ron watched the scene through narrowed eyes, as if not quite trusting his eyes not to lie to him.

"No, I…" Malfoy shifted uncomfortably. "You used to hug me all the time," he said quietly. "You don't anymore."

No. Hermione simply wouldn't believe it, Malfoy couldn't be saying that he actually -

"I miss that."

Sweet Merlin. Hermione wanted to believe that Malfoy was lying, that he was just taking some sort of sick pleasure in lying to a young boy, by screwing with Harry's head. But the raw emotion in his voice forced her to admit that maybe, just _maybe_, Malfoy really did like Harry.

Harry frowned. "But you always said you didn't like me hugging you."

_Ha!_ Hermione thought triumphantly. _You sneaky coward! See, Harry isn't stupid enough to fall for your lies, you bastard._

"I lied." Malfoy lifted his head and looked at Harry with a pitiful, watery expression. He sniffed, and wiped his nose on his sleeve. "Why won't you hug me anymore?"

Harry was quiet for a few minutes. He bit his lower lip, as if struggling with himself about something. Finally, he said, "You got a scar like mine."

_What on earth is he talking about?_ Hermione silently mouthed to Ron. The redhead seemed just as confused as she. Did Malfoy have a scar in the shape of a lightning bolt?

"What are you talking about?" Malfoy ran his hand over the top of his back, much to the bushy-haired female's confusion.

Apparently it made sense to Harry. "No," he said. He pushed Malfoy's knees flat and climbed onto his lap. Harry pressed his hand to Malfoy's chest. "_Here_." he stressed, pushing on his hang. "You have a scar."

The blood drained from Malfoy's face very quickly. "W-when did you see that?" He sounded scared, as if a secret had been blown.

"Two nights ago." Harry sounded like he was about to cry. "It's my fault." he whispered, shakily.

"No, no it's not." Malfoy still sounded panicked.

Ron nudged Hermione, and drew an imaginary line across his chest. "_Sectumsempra_." he mouthed. Hermione's mouth formed a small 'o'. Harry hadn't told her where he hit Malfoy with the curse, just that it might scar later. In fact, he often dodged any questions made about the incident, or where he had disappeared to for two hours immediately afterward.

"It's not your fault." Malfoy continued. "You didn't do it -"

"Don't lie to me!" Harry shouted. He glared at his hand, as if trying to make Malfoy's scar go away. His eyes glasses over behind his glasses as he tried to control himself. "I - I can remember! I 'member sayin' somethin' an'-an'-an' there was lots of blood and you…" Harry's voice cracked. "An' it's _my fault_!"

Harry began sobbing, hiding his face in his hands. Hermione felt her own eyes well up. Harry didn't like to talk about what happened with Malfoy, and she tried not to push it. She hadn't realized he'd been so upset, or maybe she would have pushed him to talk about it a little more.

"No, no, don't cry." Malfoy's pleading voice floated over Harry's sobs. "Harry, it's alright!"

"No, it's n-not!" Harry let out a pained sob. "I-it's _not_ okay, it's a-all m-my fault!"

Hermione and Ron watched in stunned silence as Malfoy pulled Harry into a very tight embrace. He spoke softly, running his hand through Harry's hair gently. "It's okay, it's okay."

"I don' wanna hurt you." Harry choked. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"It's alright," Malfoy said quietly. He began to rub small, soothing circles on Harry's back, and swayed gently from side to side. Ron nearly fainted when the blonde began humming an old lullaby that he remembered from his childhood.

Hermione's hands shook. She and Ron had _never_ seen Harry break down like this, and, even though he was only a child, she felt cheated that Malfoy knew how to calm the raven down when no one else was able to.

"I don' wanna hurt you." Harry repeated quietly.

Malfoy rested his cheek on Harry's head and closed his eyes. "I know you don't. It's okay, I forgave you a long time ago. You know, you cried last time you apologized as well."

Hermione frowned. When had Harry apologized to Malfoy?

Harry curled into a tiny ball on Malfoy's lap, clutching to Malfoy's shirt as if it were his lifeline. "Draco?" he said quietly.

"Yes?" Malfoy sounded distracted, but he turned to listen to Harry all the same.

"I love you."

The room grew completely still at the boy's confession. Malfoy's eyes widened, and his loose hold on Harry tightened considerably. He shut his eyes tightly, and Hermione felt a pang as she watched tears escape from under his long lashes. She and Ron watched in astonishment as Malfoy pressed a small, fragile kiss to the tired boy's forehead.

"I know," he whispered, sounding broken. "I…I love you, too, Harry."

Harry smiled sweetly, finally satisfied. He snuggled into Malfoy's chest, looking ready to fall asleep. Malfoy watched him for a while, his normally stoic eyes a turmoil of emotion.

"You buggering, bloody nuisance." he whispered affectionately, after Harry had fallen asleep in his arms. "Why did you make me admit that? Why couldn't you let me live in denial?" He sighed, but smiled tiredly. He stroked Harry's hair in a method similar to the one Ron had seen his mother use with Ginny when they were younger. "You won't let me leave, will you? You're not going to let me go." He chuckled tiredly. "In all honesty, I don't think I can let _you_ go after all this."

"Hermione?" Ron's whisper was almost inaudible. "I…I think maybe we should start forgiving Malfoy. Y'know, for everything and all."

Hermione, too overwhelmed to speak, simply nodded.

* * *

I GOT MY LAPTOP BACK! *does a happy dance* WOOOOOOO! 3 Be happy for me? I'll have the next chapter up in a few minutes, to thank you all for being so patient with me and my screwy, tempermental laptop. :D

In my last note, I had a little contest. The winner of said contest was catdemon5. *claps* A lot of other people correctly translated my greeting and my fairwell, but catdemon5 got it first. :D Congradulations! I shall, as promised, being writing a one-shot of her choice of any two characters from Harry Potter. :) It should be up in the next couple of weeks.

The two translations were from the Inheritance series by Christopher Paolini, in the ancient language. He uses both phrases to greet and say farewell to his readers in his author's note in the back of his books. :) I have to say, I am severely impressed by the number of Harry Potter fans who are also Eragon fans. :D It made my day.

_Kvetha Fricaya_ - Greetings, Friends.

_Se onr sverdar sitja hvass_ - May your swords stay sharp!


	13. Slytherin Bravery, Gryffindor Snobbery

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWF - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Thirteen**

**_Slytherin Bravery, Gryffindor Snobbery_**

_My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant._

_~Stephen Wright_

* * *

"Malfoy! Hey, _Malfoy_!"

Draco groaned. He really just wanted to go fly with Harry. It had been a stressful day, and a few laps around the field would do him good.

"Go with Pansy." he told Harry. "I'll meet you on the pitch."

Harry nodded, and took off after Pansy, who had paused at the top of the stairs. Harry smiled at her, and turned to wave over his should to Draco as the two walked away. Draco waved back, and turned to come face to face with a very nervous Granger.

"I…I want to talk to you," she said, anxiously pulling on a lock of hair. "In private," she added, as people began to stop to watch the exchange.

Draco shrugged nonchalantly, and followed Granger into an empty classroom.

"What do you want?" Draco asked, bored. "I usually come to you, don't I?"

Granger took a deep breath. "I was wondering if you'd be interested in being friends." she rushed out, holding her chin high, as if expecting to be turned down.

Draco raised a pale eyebrow. "Last time I had a private talk with you, you called me a vile coward. Why would you want to be friends with me?"

"Because Harry very obviously enjoys spending time with you. And I can tell that you like hanging out with him. Don't try to deny it," she said quickly as Draco opened his mouth to protest. "I'm not stupid. Even Ron can tell. And I'm sure once Harry's back to being eighteen, he's not just going to forget this ever happened and go back to ignoring you."

"Fantastic." Draco said mockingly. "And we're all supposed to just become the very best of friends now?"

"Obviously not." Granger said coolly. "I just thought that even _attempting_ a friendship may be beneficial to both of us. Don't you want to stay friends with Harry?"

Ah, there it was. The ever-lasting question Draco was loathe to answer.

"It doesn't matter what I want." Draco said quietly after a while. "Harry loves being my friend. However, Potter hates me." He wasn't sure if Granger would know what he meant, but she was smart - she'd understand eventually. And if she never figured it out, well, that certainly wasn't Draco's problem. "He won't want to be my friend."

Draco watched as something akin to pity filled Granger's eyes. "He doesn't hate you, you know. He never has."

"Do you expect me to believe that?"

"No, not really." Granger sighed. "Look, do you want to give being friends a try or not?"

Draco hesitated. "You have to answer a question of mine first."

Granger shrugged. "Ask away."

"Will you answer?" he asked suspiciously. She had agreed way too easily. They may have been getting along better, but Granger wasn't so trusting as to agree to answer any question of Draco's.

"Of course I'll answer. However, whether or not it's the answer you're looking for isn't my problem."

Draco smirked. _Very Slytherin_, he thought dryly. "Why won't you look me in the eye? I don't believe you about it being just because I've called you Mudblood and insulted you for the past seven or eight years. You've had no problem staring me down before."

Granger hesitated, playing with a loose thread on her shirt, as if buying time while she thought over her answer.

"Do you remember last year," she began slowly. "When the three of us were taken into your manor by the Snatchers?"

Confused, and slightly ashamed, Draco nodded. "If I remember correctly, I tried to help Potter."

"Yes, you did." she said softly. Her voice caught, and she cleared her throat. "But you didn't do a single _thing_ to help _me_."

The blood in Draco's veins turned to ice. Of course he didn't forget, no matter how hard he tried. It was one thing to watch nameless Muggleborns be tortured in front of him, but when it was someone he _knew_, someone he went to _school_ with…

It was one of the most terrible things he'd seen in his life. And Draco had just _watched_. He had watched silently as Granger was tortured mercilessly in front of him. She had screamed, she had cried, she had _continued to fucking lie_ the entire time.

"What would you have had me do?" Draco whispered, shaking slightly. "If I had tried to stop her, Aunt Bellatrix would have _Crucio_'d me as well. A-and she'd've killed you, then send me to the Dark Lord to be dealt with for having tried to help you. I-is that what I should have done?" His voice cracked, and he shut his eyes tightly, trying to forcibly remove the memories Granger brought up. "I'm not a Gryffindor, I'm a Slytherin. I'm not noble and self-sacrificing, I'm selfish and a coward. Incredibly, incredibly selfish, and terrified of pain."

He didn't want to look at her. He couldn't bring himself to make eye contact with a girl who was so bloody strong.

"But I am sorry." he whispered. "I'm so sorry for everything. The names, the insults, last year, _everything_."

His words were met by silence. Terrified, Draco opened his eyes slowly. He found himself staring at a pair of liquid brown eyes.

The edges of Granger's mouth pulled up into a sad smile. Slowly, giving him time to run away, she placed a small kiss on his cheek. She was tactful enough not to comment about the wetness her lips met there.

"Now I can start forgiving you," she said as she pulled away. She held out her hand as a peace offering. "Friends?"

Still shaking, Draco took her hand. "To the best of our abilities." he said quietly.

Granger smiled. "Well, then I suggest you stop crying, you big baby. Harry'll get worried. Let's go, we don't want to keep them waiting."

Pansy Parkinson had seen many things in her life. She had seen her brother born, and many people die. She saw purebloods be beaten by a know-it-all Mudblood. She saw more of Blaise than she would ever willingly tell Draco. She'd seen the Dark Lord be killed by a seventeen-year-old boy, and saw that boy be comforted and molly-coddled by her best friend. Yes, Pansy had seen many things in her young lifetime.

But nothing she had seen could have prepared her for the sight of Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger walking onto the Quidditch Pitch together, laughing as if sharing a private joke. Weasley grumbled something about wanting to wait a while as the pair approached.

Granger gave Weasley a pointed look, and Weasley scowled. Draco watched the exchange coldly, but Pansy could see the weariness heavy in his eyes. Weasley straightened, and, with another glare from Granger, held out his hand.

"Truce, Malfoy?"

Pansy's jaw almost dropped to the floor. Her eyes bugged even wider as Draco smoothly slid his hand into Weasley's, and shook it firmly.

"Not friends?" he drawled.

Weasley narrowed his eyes and withdrew his hand. "You've gotta prove yourself if _you_ want to be _my_ friend. Not everyone's as easy to forgive as Hermione is."

"Easy to forgive?" Draco's familiar smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth - the one that he only ever used when he was playing around with his friends. "From what _I_ hear, you're still sleeping on the couch in the dormitories. And you two don't even share a room."

Weasley flushed red as Granger giggled. Draco tilted his head to the side as he looked at Pansy.

"I do believe we've broken Pansy." he said somberly.

"You haven't broken me," Pansy spluttered. "You've _confused _the hell out of me! What's going on?"

"We've agreed to try being friends." Draco shrugged. "Some Gryffindor thing, I assume. I've decided to go along with it, I need the entertainment now that Harry's figured out how to use his wand."

"Why?"

"Believe it or not, some of us don't enjoy having enemies." Granger said, with the same coldness she'd always used with Pansy.

"Apparently _you_ do, you're not being very friendly." Pansy snapped.

"I didn't make an agreement with _you_."

Draco smirked. "She could've been a Slytherin."

"I'm insulted." Granger, obviously over exaggerating, sneered at Draco over her shoulder. Grudgingly, Pansy had to admit that it was a pretty decent sneer. Pansy shook her head in disbelief.

"You're all insane."

"I already knew that." Draco waved his hand dismissively. "Where's Harry?"

Pansy pointed up. "Blaise is teaching him some Quidditch move. I didn't bother to listen."

"A Wronsky Feint." Weasley said. "I'm dreadful at them, but Zabini doesn't seem to be much better."

"He's not." Draco looked up, and found Harry immediately. He was hovering patiently in the air as he waited for Blaise to finish talking. Draco smirked. Blaise, though he enjoyed Quidditch, couldn't fly to save his life. Harry let his eyes wander, and his face lit up when he saw Draco. He took off in a steep dive, hurtling down at a fast rate. He managed to stop about five feet above their heads.

"Hi, Draco!" Harry waved, then grabbed onto his broom as he wobbled.

"Hi yourself." Draco folded his arms. "Is Blaise a good teacher?"

Harry nodded enthusiastically.

"Is he a good flier?"

Harry shook his head sadly.

"I saw that!" Blaise called angrily from above their heads. "You little bugger, is that what I get for trying to help you?"

Harry giggled. "Sorry, Blaise."

"No, you're not." Granger teased. "You just keep getting better, Harry! Maybe you'll be able to teach _me_ how to fly!"

Weasley pouted. "I've been trying to teach you for almost three years! You don't want to learn."

"It's rather hard to learn when you're molesting my neck, Ronald."

Draco and Pansy shared a knowing look. Pansy rolled her eyes affectionately, and Draco smirked as he watched her decide that maybe it wouldn't be so terrible to be friends with a couple of Gryffindors.

* * *

Alright, not the longest or greatest chapter, but it's a necessary filler! I promise, the next one is better. :) I may re-write this chapter, but if I do I'll let you know in a later chapter. :D See? I do like Ron and Hermione. XD


	14. Goddess of Discord

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWP - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Fourteen**

**_Goddess of Discord_**

_What good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like doing for their babies is usually best after all.  
~Benjamin Spock_

* * *

July thirty-first. That's when Granger said was Harry's birthday. Unfortunately, by the time Harry's birthday came around, he'd be back to his normal age. He wouldn't want to be anywhere near Draco.

Which is why Draco had left Harry with Pansy and Hermione in Honeydukes. He hurried down the street and ducked into a small store at the end of an unused alley. A small bell jingled as he opened the door.

"Hello?" he called, wrinkling his nose at the smell. The incense that burned in jars on shelves that lined the small shop didn't help to cover the underlying odor.

"Hello, child." An old woman draped in colorful scarves and large glass beads walked in through a doorway covered in beaded strands. "How may I be of assistance?"

"You may be able to help me," Draco said smoothly. He gestured to what lay on the counter, stretched out in the dim, smoky light. "Do you have a white one?"

When he caught back up with Pansy and Hermione, he had a small bulge in his robes pocket. Pansy eyed it suspiciously, but otherwise said nothing. Her pureblood training, if nothing else, made her hold her tongue about what it might be.

For now.

"Where's Harry?" Draco asked casually.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Where else?" She pointed to the store ahead of them. Blaise, Ron, and Harry stood with their noses almost pressed against the glass. "I think there's a new broom out or something. I don't know, I zoned out."

"The Starshot?" Draco's eyes widened and he itched to go and join the boys. The Starshot was just as perfect as the Firebolt - only _better_.

Pansy snorted. "_Boys_." she muttered. Hermione nodded in agreement.

"Quidditch and sex, that's all they think about."

"I resent that." Draco said, pointedly staring at Pansy's chest. She smacked him in the arm rather roughly.

"Pig." she said casually.

"That hurt," Draco scowled, rubbing his arm.

"Oh, suck it up." Hermione smirked. "You _are_ a man, aren't you?"

Draco ignored her. He shoved two fingers in his mouth and whistled loudly, grabbing Blaise's attention rather rudely. He motioned for the boys to come back over. Blaise scowled, took one last, lingering look at the broom, and dragged a very unwilling Harry and Ron back to Draco and the girls.

"But it's so pretty!" Ron cried. "Zabini, let go!"

"_I _can't even afford that, what makes you think you can?" Blaise snapped.

"I just want to look!"

"Me too!" Harry piped up. He turned to Draco. "Can I go look? Please, Draco? It's so _cool_!"

"Sorry, shorty. Maybe later." Draco tore his own eyes away from the gleaming broom. "I have something for you."

Harry immediately let got of Blaise's belt loop (Harry was required to hold onto someone while in Hogsmeade ever since he found his way into the Shrieking Shack, and since he still refused to hold anyone's hand but Draco's, he had taken to latching onto belt loops) and nearly ran into Draco's legs. "What is it?" he asked eagerly, wrapping his arms around Draco's hips. He looked up, eyes shining brightly behind his glasses.

"You spoil the crap out of him." Pansy chided.

"So?" Draco reached into his pocket slowly, as if not to startle his gift. "No, you've got to promise to be very careful with her."

"Her?" Harry gave Draco a questioning look that very quickly turned to one of excitement when Draco pulled a tiny white kitten from his pocket.

"Oh!" Harry's eyes grew even wider. He started to reach out, but seemed to think better of it and snatched his hands back. "Can I hold her?" he asked shyly.

"Be careful," Draco warned. "She's only a couple of months old." He gave the kitten to Harry, who cradled the small white bundle as if she was made of glass threads that would shatter if he breathed too hard.

"She's so cute!" Pansy squealed, crouching down to Harry's level. "Ooo, what's her name?"

"Harry has to name her."

Harry bit his lip, then smiled broadly. "Eris!"

Hermione laughed. "Eris? Isn't that what he wanted to name one of Crookshanks' girlfriend's kittens?" she asked Ron.

"I think so." Ron crouched down next to Harry. "Hey, mate, look! Her eyes are the same color green as yours."

"Eris…" Pansy looked thoughtful. "Isn't that the Greek goddess of discord or strife or something?"

Blaise nodded. "Yeah. Mum's got a tapestry of her in the dining hall."

"That's an odd name for a kitten." Ron frowned. "Why would a seven-year-old know the Greek god of discord?"

"Why don't you _ask_ him?" Pansy rolled her eyes. Ron narrowed his eyes, but repeated his question, this time directed to Harry.

Harry smiled down at his kitten. "I like Greek stories." was the only answer he gave.

The newly named Eris blinked slowly, and batted a paw cutely as Ron, mewling softly. Harry giggled, and carefully stroked her fur. She purred appreciatively, and pressed her head into Harry's hand.

"I think she likes you." Blaise observed.

Ron nodded, and straightened. Both he and Blaise turned their attention back to the broom, quietly observing it from afar. Though they stayed quiet, their longing was clearly evident.

"Oh, _go_!" Hermione dismissed the boys with a wave of her hand. They took off without looking over their shoulder, back admiring the broom within seconds. "Honestly!"

Pansy sighed. "It's a wonder we fell for them." Hermione agreed.

Draco smiled as Harry buried his face in Eris' fur.

"She's so soft." he said happily. He turned and beamed at Draco, then hugged him tightly, yet awkwardly, with one arm, while the other cradled Eris. "Thank you, Draco! Thank you thank you thank you!"

"You're welcome." Draco said. "I take it you like her?"

Harry nodded so fast Draco thought his head might fly off.

"Good. The woman I bought her from said she's very mild-tempered, so she shouldn't give us too much trouble."

Eris purred, and curled up into a tiny ball in Harry's arms, content with her new owner.

"That was very nice of you," Hermione said quietly as Pansy cooed the little kitten. "This doesn't have anything to do with your missing his birthday, does it?"

"Of course not."

Hermione smirked smugly. "I thought so."

"Unca Sirius, lookit! Draco bought me a kitten!" Harry showed Sirius Eris, who was happily nestled in Draco's robe pocket. It had quickly become her favorite place to nest. "She's white an' has green eyes like me an' her name is Eris!"

Draco allowed Harry to dislodge Eris from his pocket. She mewled unappreciatively as she was pulled from her warm sanctity. Harry held her up to Sirius proudly.

"She's utterly _adorable_." Sirius drawled, tickling the cat's stomach with a single finger. "Eris, did you say? I'd say that describes you better."

Remus chuckled. "When did Draco give her to you?" He scratched behind Eris's ear with a finger, earning a satisfied purr.

"Las' week, at Hogsmeade."

Draco shrugged. "He said he wanted a kitten." he muttered abashedly, avoiding eye contact.

Remus smiled knowingly. Draco scowled. Both Remus and Hermione had been looking at him like that recently, and it was really starting to piss him off. What was their problem? Why would they keep looking at him like that?

Harry sneezed violently, his head nearly cracking against Sirius'. He sniffed, and wiped his nose daintily on his t-shirt sleeve.

"Whoa!" Sirius formed an X with his pointer fingers and scrambled backward. "Don't you get me sick! Are you allergic to the cat or something?"

"No," Harry protested. "It's jus' a cold."

"I don't believe you." Sirius eyed Harry suspiciously. "You sound allergic."

"He's not allergic, he doesn't sneeze around Hermione's cat." Remus pointed out.

"That thing's not a cat, it's a beast." Sirius muttered. Harry sneezed again, and coughed a little.

"You sound terrible." Remus pointed out. He turned to Draco. "How long has he been like this?"

"Couple days." Draco frowned. "I didn't pay much attention to it, everyone's been sneezing. And it hasn't been this bad yet. It's usually just a couple of sneezes."

Remus looked thoughtful. "If he doesn't get better by tomorrow morning, take him to Madame Pomfrey immediately. His immune system is _terrible_. You know what he got two weeks after killing Voldemort? Bloody swine flu from some American Auror."

"Seriously?"

Sirius nodded. "It was _awful_. He couldn't keep anything down, his fever refused to break, and the nightmares…" Both Sirius and Remus flinched. "They weren't called nightmares for nothing. He got them pretty bad to begin with, but when he's sick it's like they get ten times worse."

Harry put Eris on the ground, and went into a coughing fit. He rubbed his eyes blearily when he finished.

"Come on, Harry." Draco said, picking the boy up and letting him hang onto his back. He wasn't ashamed to admit that he was slightly worried about how quickly Harry seemed to be deteriorating into whatever sickness he had. "Let's get you to bed."

"Okay." Harry sneezed again.

Both Remus and Sirius looked worried. Sirius picked Eris up and dropped her back into Draco's pocket.

"We need to get at the Dursley's soon." he murmured in Draco's ear. "Once Harry's eighteen in less than a month, he won't let us do anything. We need to move, and fast."

Draco nodded once, almost undetectable. Remus didn't know of their plans. It he did, he'd try to stop them, and Draco wasn't about to let that happen. He was going to get his revenge, damnit.

Sirius gave Harry a quick kiss on the forehead and walked back to Remus. "See you guys next weekend."

"Bye." Harry waved tiredly. Eris yowled her farewell, then snuggled deeper into Draco's pocket. She hadn't grown much, and Draco had a feeling she wasn't going to get much bigger. She was still small enough to curl up into a small ball in his hands.

Draco watched as the two men walked away. Sirius draped an arm around Remus' shoulders and said something in the man's ear, only to have his arm shoved off rather roughly. Remus walked ahead of Sirius, obviously miffed about something. Sirius said something else that made Remus turn and snap at him. Draco heard a few snippets of the elevating conversation.

" - can't keep doing this!"

Sirius growled. "What are you so afraid of?"

"I'm not afraid of anything!"

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying, you goddamn mutt!" Remus shouted unexpectedly. Draco was startled. He hadn't heard Remus curse before, except when he was giving Draco his gun lessons. And Draco knew by the cross around Remus' neck that he was religious enough not to say words like 'goddamn'. "Would you just leave me alone?"

Sirius stood his ground, his arms crossed on his chest. "I've never been good at leaving you alone, and you know it."

Remus gave Sirius a glare that was icy enough to give Draco chills down his spine. "_Tonks_ always knew when I needed to be left alone." he said frostily.

"I don't want to be cruel, but Tonks is _gone_, Moony." Sirius shook his head. He looked up at Remus, and Draco saw a gleam in his eye that he often saw in his mother's. Draco winced, out of habit. She only took on that look when she was going to say something hurtful to someone she cared about. Sirius' voice came softly, but Draco found himself straining his ears to hear. "Don't you think Teddy needs someone else to look up to and to take care of him?"

Silence enveloped the two men. Remus looked as if he had been slapped across the face. His eyes narrowed quickly, and he bared his teeth in a manner that reminded Draco that the sweet, calm man he had come to know quite well was still, in fact, a werewolf.

"Of course I do." Remus seethed coldly. "There is just no way in hell or on this earth I think that person should be _you_."

He turned on his heel and stormed off. Sirius watched, stunned, before holding his head high and proud in a true Slytherin fashion and walking after his friend.

Draco tilted his head to the side. _What was that all about?_

"Alright, Harry, you ready for bed?" he asked quietly.

Harry nodded, and lay his head on Draco's shoulder. Draco flinched as Harry's forehead brushed against his neck - he was already burning up.

* * *

HI! I'm back. :D I'm sorry it's kinda late, but I wanted to have catdemon5's won one-shot up before I posted the next chapter (It's up, by the way. Called _Unexpected_, check it out if you're into NevilleXHarry. :D) So this chapter's up! :) The next one is longer, I promise. BEFORE I GET BOMBARDED - NO, Harry is not going to die. Nor is Draco. Now let the angry fans rip me a new one for getting Harry sick.


	15. When A Friend Becomes A Father

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWF - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Fifteen**

**_When A Friend Becomes A Father_**

_It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't._  
_Barbara Kingsolver_

* * *

Draco lay Harry down on his bed carefully. The boy had fallen asleep on Draco's back quickly. Draco took Eris out of his pocket and put her on the bed as well. She curled up into a small ball on the pillow, next to Harry's head. Her white fur contrasted starkly against the messy nest of midnight black that took up the majority of the pillow.

Draco lay the back of his hand on Harry's forehead, and snatched it back quickly. The raven's head was still burning.

"Shit!" Draco ran a hand over his face. Should he get Madame Pomfrey, or wait until morning? A fever that quick and ferocious could be dangerous, even fatal.

Harry whimpered in his sleep, and kicked off his covers. He coughed violently, then curled into a small ball. He was sweating profusely, as if it were noon on a summer day.

Oh. _Oh_. He had the Summer Flu. Draco sighed in relief. Summer Flu was easy enough to treat, and it wasn't life-threatening until the patient's skin turned a dark shade of red. Harry must have picked it up from one of the students in their classes as the bug was going around the school. Pomfrey already had nine students in her wing suffering from different stages of it.

Draco wracked his brain. How did one treat Summer Flu? Ah, yes - baths. A nice, cool bath, and ice water to drink. If it was early enough in the illness, Harry should be better by the next afternoon. But in order for that to happen, Draco had to start by giving the boy a cold bath.

_Son of a bitch_. He groaned. He had been very careful to _not_ be present whenever Harry took a bath. If he wanted or needed help, Draco sent in Pansy. _She_ had the little brother, _she_ could give him a bath.

"Harry," Draco shook Harry gently. "Come on, Harry, wake up."

Harry grumbled something unintelligibly, and, with great difficulty, opened his eyes. "I wanna sleep." he mumbled.

"No, you need a bath." Draco forced Harry to sit up. "It's either you take a bath, or I'll take you to Madame Pomfrey. And you know that she'll give you medicine."

Harry moaned, clearly unwilling to move from his comfortable nest on Draco's bed, but allowed Draco to take him into the bathroom. He sat on the closed lid of the toilet, almost falling asleep where he sat. Draco turned the bath on, letting the tub fill with cold water.

"Get undressed." he said, blushing magnificently as he imagined a much taller, much older Harry stripping in his bathroom.

_Good _god_, this has got to stop_.

He shrugged off his own robes, letting them pool in a pile on the floor, and rolled up the sleeves of his school shirt. When he turned to face Harry, he found the boy still in his clothes.

"Come on." he groaned. "I don't want to undress you."

Harry sniffed pitifully and looked up at Draco through long lashes over his half-lidded eyes. Draco huffed. "Fine. Lift your arms up." Harry obeyed, and Draco carefully dragged the boy's shirt over his head. Harry let his hands fall to his sides uselessly.

Grumbling, Draco knelt and hooked his fingers into the backs of the boy's shoes. He tugged them off, and dropped them next to the shirt. Harry's socks soon followed.

"Stand up." Draco sat back on his heels. Harry slid off the toilet lid, and stood in front of Draco, head nodding as he fought off sleep.

"Are you going to make me take those off, too?" Draco gestured to the dark-haired boy's shorts. He received a blank, sleepy stare in return.

_Son of a bitch son of a bitch son of a bitch…_ he chanted internally as he helped Harry step out of his shorts and Spiderman underwear. His glasses were last to follow his clothes, the arms folded neatly and placed carefully on the sink counter. He lifted Harry into the tub, and sighed in relief as Harry sat down immediately, the water reaching the tops of his shoulders. Draco shut off the water and knelt next to the tub.

"Better?" he asked gently.

Harry nodded slowly. "Still don' feel good."

"No, you probably don't. But you'll feel better tomorrow, I promise." Draco ran a hand over the top of the water.

"Okay." Harry slid further down in the water until the cool liquid lapped at his chin. When he slid further down, covering his mouth, and soon his nose, Draco all but dove into the water to catch him.

"Hey!" he slid his arms under Harry's and across his chest. Harry clutched onto the blonde's forearm, and Draco let the boy lean on him like a drowning man on a life preserver. "None of that, you'll drown!"

Harry clung to Draco's arms weakly. "Sorry." he mumbled.

Draco remembered the last time _he_ had had Summer Flu. He had been very weak, and had to have someone help him with almost everything. It had been humiliating to be fourteen years old and need his mother or a house-elf to help him to the bathroom. Summer Flu also came up on a victim very quickly, very quietly - which is why Harry had seemed fine only an hour prior.

Draco let Harry just sit in the water, allowing it to work its frigid magic. After fifteen minutes or so, Harry was able to sit up on his own. He had his eyes closed, and he leaned against the wall of the tub.

"Draco?" he asked quietly.

"Yes?" Draco rested his forearms on the tub's edge, his long fingers absent-mindedly playing with the water.

"When I'm big," Harry seemed to struggle with what he wanted to ask. It didn't help that his words were slurred, probably from the fever. "Um…why does ev'yone…does ev'yone treat me so good?"

"Because they care about you." Draco replied. He had a feeling, though, that that wasn't exactly what Harry was asking.

"No." Harry forehead creased as he frowned. "Yes'erday a Ravenslaw -"

"Ravenclaw."

"A Ravenslaw told me that I grow up to be really important." Harry turned to face Draco, his eyes glazed over with the fever, but determined. "He said I kill someone."

"Then you know why everyone treats you well."

"No." Harry repeated forcefully. His pupils were dilated to the point where there was only a thin circle of green surrounding the black, giving him a slightly crazed and drugged look. "If I kill someone, shouldn't I be in jail? Shouldn't people hate me?" He sounded close to tears.

Draco groaned. He _really_ didn't want to be the one to tell Harry about the Dark Lord.

"It's complicated."

"You said that las' time."

True. He had, but Harry had understood just fine.

Bugger.

"The man you killed…he was a very evil man." Draco said carefully. "He killed a lot of innocent people, including…" He trailed off. Should he tell the young child that his parents were victim of the madman as well? "He killed a lot of people." He cowered out at the last minute.

"So why did _I_ have to kill him?" Harry's voice trembled. This was obviously something that was bothering him a great deal. "I'm not that old, even when I'm big! I'm on'y eighteen! Why couldn' a grown-up kill him?"

Harry had asked Hermione about the issue a few days ago. She had explained it vaguely, but Harry knew she left stuff out - mainly, all of the important information. He wasn't going to push it with her, though. Harry didn't like demanding things from people, and he would (hopefully) remember everything in a month. He knew this, but in the haze of his fever, he wanted answers. He wanted to know why it had to be him.

Harry had watched Draco's face grow troubled the second he said the Ravenslaw had told him he killed someone. Harry realized that it pained Draco to hear the questions he had, and he didn't want to hurt Draco. But he had his own insecurities that demanded answers, and Draco wouldn't lie to him. He may not tell him everything, but Harry could trust Draco not to lie.

Draco ran his tongue over his bottom lip. He did that when he wasn't sure how to word something correctly, Harry had noticed. Harry stared intently as Draco looked down at the water, his white-blonde hair falling into his eyes.

Harry had decided a while back that Draco had pretty hair. In fact, Harry thought a lot of things about Draco were pretty. His hair, his eyes, and especially his smile. Harry liked to make Draco smiled because he knew that he was the only person privileged enough to see that smile so often.

Harry also liked to make Draco laughed. He'd once told Draco that his laugh sounded like a dragon's growl - after all, it was low and rough and made Harry feel exhilarated every time he heard it. Draco turned a brilliant shade of pink when Harry had told him that. Harry though that made him look even prettier, but he wisely kept that to himself.

Finally, Draco lifted his head to look Harry straight in the eye. His eyes were still their usual shade of silvery-blue, but as Harry watched, they darkened. He could identify several emotions - anger, humiliation, and … fear?

"I don't know why." Draco said quietly. Harry had almost forgotten what his question was.

Almost.

"I don't know why," Draco repeated. One of his hands lifted up and his nimble fingers brushed a few strands of hair out of Harry's eyes. "But it wasn't fair."

Harry sniffed, tears blurring his already damaged vision. He crawled over to Draco, and wrapped his arms around Draco's neck. He felt much, much better after sitting in the cool water. The rim of the tub dug into his stomach, but he didn't care. All he cared was that Draco's arms closed tightly around him, and that he felt safe as Draco lifted him out of the tub.

Draco wrapped a towel around Harry's small frame. Harry snuggled into the soft fabric, and Draco thought he looked like a cute baby doll. Draco gathered him up into his arms (the towel was long enough to make it near impossible for Harry to walk without waddling like a penguin) and took him out to their room.

Harry was content just laying in Draco's arms. He was happy, happier than he had ever been at the Dursley's or anywhere else. It was an unusual feeling for him, but he wasn't complaining.

Draco lay Harry on the bed, and quickly dressed the boy in a pair of clean underwear and a pair of Draco's boxers. It embarrassed the hell out of Draco to be putting _his_ boxers on _Harry_, but they were silk, so they'd be cool, and Harry needed to stay cool for a little while longer.

"No shirt?" Harry asked sleepily as Draco began undressing.

"You need to stay as cool as possible. And a t-shirt will only make your fever stay longer. So long as you have another cold bath tomorrow morning, and drink a lot of ice water, you'll be all better by tomorrow afternoon."

"Kay." Harry mumbled. He curled up in a small ball and closed his eyes.

Draco slid into pajama bottoms and a t-shirt of his own. He refused to wear only his boxers, as he had since second year, even though the pajamas made him hot.

_It's only for another month_, Draco thought bitterly as he climbed into bed. Harry, who normally took over the entire bed and had kicked Draco out of the bed several times, immediately curled up at Draco's side. Draco sighed, and laced his fingers together behind his head. Harry mumbled something into his side.

"What was that?"

Harry moved fractionally to free his mouth. "Tell me a story?"

Draco blinked. At the beginning of his babysitting "punishment", he had assumed Harry was going to be a pain. He thought the young savior would be spoiled, and demand sweets and stories every night. Obviously he had been wrong, and it was easy to forget that Harry was only seven, instead of ten or eleven. This was the first time Harry was truly acting his age, and it was only because the young boy was sick.

"What do you want to hear?" Draco asked, running through the list of bedtime stories he knew. It was a very short list. He could always make up something, but he wasn't very creative.

Harry shrugged.

_Aren't you helpful?_ Draco thought sarcastically. It wasn't easy for him to think of any stories. It wasn't like he grew up like the Weasel did, with a mum who read to him every night and sang him songs until he fell asleep. His mother, though she loved him, wasn't…_cuddly_. It was how she was raised, and in turn, how Draco was raised. Why would he know any stories? They were childish and exactly what the Weasel and his family would know. Suddenly, as he thought of the insults the Weasel would throw at him for not knowing even a basic fairy tale, Draco knew exactly what story he was going to tell.

"Do you want to know why Weasley calls me Ferret?" he asked casually.

Harry nodded curiously. His hair brushed against Draco's side, and Draco bit back a laugh. He'd never tell _anyone_ that he was ticklish as Harry was. If Sirius Black ever found out…

Things would not bode well for Draco. He'd heard the stories from Remus of the monstrous Black stalking his innocent prey from corners, only to jump on them and tickle them mercilessly. Draco did not plan on becoming one of his prey.

"We were in our fourth year," Draco began. "Our Defense teacher was this crazy old Auror named Mad-Eye Moody. He was completely paranoid, and _everything_ made him pull out his wand and hex someone. You were in the Triwizard Tournament that year. I believe Gra - er, Hermione, and Weasley told you about that?"

Harry nodded again. Draco could feel his breathing slow, and the small boy's fragile chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm. It calmed Draco to know that the fever was breaking and Harry wasn't having trouble breathing. That meant the cold bath was working.

"Well I was jealous." Draco admitted. "I wanted to be in it, but we were too young. Of course, that rule never actually applied to _you_." Draco fought to keep the old bitterness out of his voice. "I was mad. So, one day, I saw you walking through the courtyard by yourself. I thought it would be a fantastic stress reliever if I messed with your head a bit, so I started insulting you." Draco smirked. "You, if I remember correctly, told me where exactly to _put_ my opinions, then called me pathetic and began to walk away. I was infuriated, so I pulled out my wand, fully intending to send a good Jelly-Legs Jinx your way, when I was hit with a rather nasty Transfiguration spell. Moody had seen me about to attack, and turned me into a sodding _ferret_."

Harry gave a sleepy giggle. "Ron called you the Incredible Bouncing Ferret."

Draco scowled. "I know. Bloody teacher made me bound up and down, then put me in Goyle's pants! _Goyle's_!" He shuddered at the memory. "I _still_ can't look him in the eye! Do you know what it's like to be in that man's pants? No, you don't! It was god _awful_."

"You shouldn't've tried t'hex me!" Harry mumbled. He yawned, and snuggled closer to Draco, hugging him with one arm and tucking his head right underneath Draco's chin. It should have made Draco uncomfortable, but he was surprised to find the motion oddly familiar. Not because Harry'd been sleeping in his bed for the past few months, but because he was assaulted with a memory of curling up against his mother in a strikingly similar way when he was younger.

"Probably not." Draco admitted grudgingly. "But that teacher was _crazy_!"

Harry was silent for a few minutes, and just when Draco thought he was asleep, he asked, "What was it like?"

"What was what like? Bouncing as a ferret? Rather painful, actually. I had bruises for a week, and in places that you do not want bruises."

"No. Being a ferret."

Draco paused. He'd never really thought about it before. "I didn't really have much time to think of anything except "bugger my life" and "ow". Why?"

Harry sighed sleepily. "I want t'be a animal sometimes." he whispered. "Animals don' have t'listen t'nobody. They can run away if they want. An' they get taken care of by nice people sometimes."

Draco was struck once again by an assault of pure rage. Why would _anyone_ be so cruel to a child that they would want to run away? It made him think of his parents. Of his father, who was in Azkaban, and of his mother, who had escaped Azkaban but slowly gone mad. She barely recognized even Draco now a days, and his letters to her had been slowly growing further and farther apart. It was only to be expected, he often didn't receive letters back and the house-elves told him that his mother usually just threw them out. However, he suddenly felt incredibly guilty.

"You should get some rest." Draco said past a hard lump forming in his throat. "Go to sleep, little nymph."

"Mkay." Draco didn't realize just how out of it Harry was. He should have realized that when Harry said the bit about the animals. He also should have realized that when a child is sick, they often only want a parent to be there to take care of them, and in the absence of said parent…well, anyone who was kind and took care of them was good enough for the child.

Draco should have realized this. If he had, maybe he wouldn't have become so broken at Harry's final goodnight to him before falling asleep.

"G-'night, Daddy."

Draco forgot how to breathe. "G-good night, Harry." he choked out.

Harry fell asleep very quickly, but Draco didn't. Draco lie awake in bed for hours, stroking Harry's hair gently. When he finally did fall asleep, it was the first time in a long time that Draco fell asleep crying.

* * *

I DIDN'T SCREW UP THE WARNING THIS TIME! :D It's a PWF - not a PWP! XD Took me long enough, eh?

It's a bit longer than normal, but you, my wonderful readers, deserve it. You also deserve the fast update. ;) AND GUESS WHAT. I haven't forgotten about the Dursley's, and I have finished that chapter. :D It's the next chapter, so a few more days and I should have it up. :) Bet you'll want to read that one. So stay on your toes! The next chapter should be up soon. :D


	16. Revenege Isn't So Sweet

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWF - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Sixteen**

**_Revenge Isn't So Sweet_**

_ "A baby is an angel whose wings decrease as his legs increase"_

Anonymous quotes

* * *

"Harry, wake up." Draco shook the boy's shoulder. "Come on, I want to take you to Pomfrey."

Harry grumbled and sat up, swaying slightly as he rubbed his eyes.

"How do you feel?" Draco asked, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Still hot?"

Harry shook his head. "Lil' bit." he yawned.

"Well come on, then, get dressed. I'm taking you to the nurse." Draco put the back of his hand to Harry's forehead. It was still warm, but not nearly as terrible as it was yesterday. It seemed that Draco had done a decent enough job of chasing away the worst of the Summer Flu. That made Draco feel a little proud of himself.

Harry made a face, but obliged as he slid out of Draco's bed. "What day is it?" he asked sleepily.

"Sunday." Draco cleared his throat. "Do…do you understand what happens in four weeks?"

Harry paused as he pulled his shirt over his head. "That's when Mr. Snape's potion'll be ready, right?"

Draco nodded. "In four Sundays you'll be back to normal. You must be excited, huh?"

Harry shrugged. "I dunno. I guess."

"Why wouldn't you be excited?" Draco shrugged into his usual button-up. He disliked having to pull shirts over his head. It messed up his hair, damnit.

Harry paused again, then slowly pushed his head through the hole of his new shirt. He was blushing faintly. "I like it here."

Draco felt a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach. "You probably won't want to, but you can come here whenever you want." he tried to say it casually, but his throat constricted slightly, making it hard to talk.

"Really?" Harry looked up hopefully. He beamed at Draco. "Do you really mean that?"

"Of course." Draco said, a bit harshly. How could Harry think he'd go back on his word, after all the two of them had been through together? "I can't guarantee that we'll always get along, but you will always be welcome in Slytherin. Like I said, though, I don't think you'll want to come back."

Harry hesitated, then nearly tackled Draco as he flung his arms around the blonde. "I'm always gonna wanna stay wif you," he said, voice muffled by Draco's stomach. "Thank you, Draco."

Draco smiled in spite of himself. "You're welcome, Harry." he said, ruffling Harry's hair in a very father-like manor. "Now get dressed. I'm taking you to Pomfrey."

* * *

"Harry okay?" Sirius whispered.

Draco nodded, and shoved his hands in his pockets. He glared at the house in front of them. "That's where he grew up?"

Sirius nodded. The two purebloods stood in front of number four, Privet Drive. It was late Sunday night. Draco didn't know how Sirius was going to explain to Dumbledore why he had stolen Draco from Hogwarts, but he wasn't worried about it. At this point, Draco didn't care if he got expelled anymore. It was all about Harry.

"Ready?" Sirius nudged Draco, who nodded again.

"They're home?"

"Yeah."

Sirius and Draco crossed the road quickly. "Stay behind me for now." Sirius told Draco. Then he kicked the door as hard as he could, and waited a second, before assaulting the door again. The door opened on the third kick.

An extremely fat man stood in the doorway, face red with infuriation. He had a walrus mustache that was graying, and small beady eyes that sunk into the folds of fat in his face.

"Just who the ruddy hell do you think you are?" the man roared.

Sirius very calmly took out his wand and held it in front of the man's face.

"I think," he said quietly. "That you had better let us in."

The man's face drained. White as a ghost, he stood aside, dumbstruck. Sirius shouldered past him into the house, Draco trailing behind him.

"Vernon?" A tall, anorexic-thin woman poked her head out from behind a door. "Vernon, what's going on…" her voice died when she saw Sirius and Draco. "Black?" she managed to choke out.

Sirius grinned wolfishly. "Ah, Petunia! Good to know you haven't forgotten me."

Draco thought the woman, presumably Harry's Aunt Petunia, was going to faint.

"What are you doing here?" The fat man seemed to have gained some courage. His beefy hands formed fists at his sides. "The brat's gone! You took him nearly two years ago!"

Sirius raised a finger. "It seems you've touched upon the nature of our…visit. Harry." A dangerous gleam took root in the Black's dark eyes.

"I don't care what trouble the runt's gotten into this time!" Vernon shouted. "I'll have none of it! He's eighteen now, he can take care of his own bloody problems!"

Draco's fists tightened. Sirius had taken away his wand before they left Hogwarts, claiming Draco would loose his temper with the Dursley's. It looked like he was right, but that didn't stop Draco from wanting to hit the man with an Avada Kedavra and see if _he_ could survive it.

Sirius ignored Vernon's outburst. He instead locked his eyes on Petunia.

"I'd've thought _you_, at least, would have stopped it before it went too far." Sirius was calm, but Draco heard the undertone of venom laced within his voice. The older man's hands tightened around his wand, turning his knuckles white.

The woman quailed under Sirius' accusing gaze, but otherwise didn't show any signs of fear. She looked like she was unsure as to what was going on, and if it was actually real or just a dream.

"What are you talking about?" she asked, still in shock from seeing Sirius Black in her living room.

Vernon narrowed his eyes, and pointed to the door. "OUT!" he bellowed. "GET OUT! We'll have nothing to do with your sort! We rid ourselves of that freak and we'll have nothing to do with him!"

"You shut your trap, Dursley, or I'll lose my temper." Sirius snapped. "Do you _want _a repeat of Lily and James' wedding?"

Vernon paled considerably. Draco raised an eyebrow at Sirius. Later, _after_ they'd dealt with the Dursley's and gotten the boy back safely into Hogwarts, he'd have to ask Sirius what happened at Lily and James' wedding. Sirius' eyes never left Petunia.

"Your own flesh and blood." Sirius whispered. "You let _him_ -" Sirius jabbed his wand at Vernon. " - beat a _child_."

Petunia looked as if someone had slapped her. "No." she whispered. "We never…_never_ touched him!"

"_Liar_." Draco hissed. He had managed to find his voice. He stepped foreword, wrenching his arm out of Sirius' grip as the raven tried to restrain him. "_Liar_! How _dare_ you stand there and deny what you've done? How _dare _you act so indignant! _Coward_! He has _scars_! He has _seizures_, you fucking bitch!"

"Seizures…" she repeated faintly. "No, no…we never…" her eyes drifted to Vernon, who stubbornly avoided her gaze. Her bemused expression turned to one of horror. "What did you do?" she whispered.

Vernon snarled at her. "Don't pretend you cared about him! He was a _freak_ - a monstrosity!" His tiny, beady eyes leveled with Draco's and his moustache quivered slightly. "He deserved everything he got."

_Well_, Draco though viciously as his fist connected with the man's beefy maw. You _certainly deserve more than this_.

"_Draco_!" Sirius hauled Draco back by an arm wrapped around his middle.

Draco let out a string of profanities, all spoken in ancient Greek. He had never quite grown out of that habit, ever since his mother made him learn the damned language. "_Let go of me_!" he finally shouted in English.

"_Shut up, Malfoy_!" Sirius roared. Draco snarled, but managed to rein in his temper. He glared daggers at Vernon, who held his jaw tightly.

"So you were too much of a coward to even let your wife know." Sirius slashed his wrist downward suddenly, his wand whistling through the air. Vernon was shoved violently into another room by an unseen force.

"You stay here with _her_." Sirius jerked his head towards Petunia. "I'm going to handle that …_thing_."

"No!" Draco cried. "I won't, I want to -"

"I _know_ what you want to do!" Sirius interrupted. "I wish I could let you. But you'll kill him."

"And you _won't_?"

"No." A sadistic, crazed smirk curled Sirius' lips. He placed his wand on the mantle of the fireplace, then reached into his pocket and pulled out a wicked silver blade that Draco recognized as his Aunt Bellatrix's. "No, I don't think I'll kill him."

For the first time since he'd met the man, Draco was truly afraid of Sirius Black. Sirius followed Vernon into the room and the door slammed behind him.

Draco looked at the door wistfully, before tearing his eyes away. He snatched up Sirius' wand, and turned to face Petunia. She was _his_ to deal with. Sirius had promised.

Well. Not _promised_, but he had said that Draco was to watch her. That was close enough for him.

Petunia's face had paled completely, making her resemblance to a skeleton even more striking. She sank down to her knees. Her hands clasped over her mouth.

"I never knew." she breathed. A pained sob rose from her chest. "I swear to you, I never knew!"

And as much as he didn't want to, Draco believed her. He clutched Sirius' wand tightly. He wanted so badly, so very _badly_, to just Crucio the woman until she went mad. But, though the cantation sprang to mind nearly unbidden, he found that he couldn't utter the word.

"I envied her." Petunia said quietly. Draco could hear old bitterness colouring her tone. "My sister. Oh, how I _envied_ her." she shook her head slowly, as if she couldn't quite understand what had happened to her.

"Why?" Draco sat on the very edge of one of the couches. He was angry that he couldn't seek revenge for Harry himself, but he was glad that he was at least able to land one solid punch on the fat wanker's jaw.

"She was a witch." Petunia shut her eyes tightly. "We shared the same blood, why did _she_ get to go to Hogwarts? The boys all loved _Lily_, _Lily_ was the brilliant one, _Lily_ was the pretty one, _Lily_ got magic! I envied her so much that, at times, I hated her. I wanted everything she had - the magic, the brain, the man, even her son sometimes." Petunia let out a wretched sob. "And then - then she was _gone_! _Gone_! And her son was left on my doorstep. Her beautiful, _magical_ son. Another reminder that I would never, _could_ _never_ be her!"

Draco was stunned. He had never really met a Muggle before, and certainly not one with a sibling who was a Muggleborn. How was he supposed to know that the Muggleborn's family might be envious?

It should have been bloody _obvious_.

"I never wanted to hurt him." Petunia sobbed. "I just…I wanted him gone! I wanted my sister back! I never asked for any of this!"

Draco watched in stony, stunned silence as the aging woman in front of him broke down into fresh sobs. He could never forgive her for turning a blind eye and for ignoring Harry his entire childhood. But, he could understand. And, as Remus was fond of saying, understanding breeds empathy.

It was nearly fifteen minutes before Harry's aunt calmed down. All the while, not a single sound came from the room that Sirius had locked himself and Vernon in. Draco hadn't moved an inch, afraid that if he did, he'd lose his temper and barge into the room Vernon was being held in.

Petunia sniffed and wiped her eyes. "Oh, you must think I'm a sight." she muttered. She looked at Draco with glassy eyes. "What are you, anyway? Those aren't the colors my sister or the boy wore." She gestured to his school tie.

It took Draco a minute, but he recognized the attempt to pull the attention away from her breakdown. It was slightly pathetic - after all, Draco had just seen her sob for nearly twenty minutes - but it was a show of her pride. If she hadn't been a Muggle, she could have made a decent pureblood.

"I'm a Slytherin." Draco said dismissively. "A _pureblood_, unlike _you_. You're nothing but a filthy Mudblood." he added sneeringly.

Petunia shook her head, letting out a humorless laugh. "I'm no Mudblood. I have no magic in me."

Draco scowled. "Just shut up."

Petunia rose and smoothed out her skirt. She didn't seem too concerned with what was happening to her husband. Maybe she really didn't care.

Or maybe she thought he deserved whatever Sirius did to him.

She clasped her hands together and wrung them, then bit her lip. "What…" she cleared her throat. "What…happened?"

Draco lifted a pale brow as his way of telling her to elaborate. She huffed in a way similar to Pansy when she didn't get her way or when she thought someone was being especially stupid. "With…_him_."

"Who's _him_?" Draco snapped impatiently.

"Vol…Voldemort." Petunia managed. Draco never heard a Muggle say his name before, but he didn't think it would be difficult for them to say his name the way it was for witches and wizards. "What happened? We were moved from here before…the boy turned seventeen. I can't imagine that he's still at large, or we'd still be in hiding."

Draco stared at her incredulously. "No one _told_ you?"

"They only brought us home, they never said anything!" Petunia knotted her hands together and stared at Draco expectantly. "What happened?"

"Harry killed him." Draco wasn't aware he was speaking until he saw Petunia's eyes widen. "The Dark Lord's gone for good."

Petunia put a hand over her mouth. "He won?" Draco nodded. Petunia pressed her lips together tightly and nodded. "I knew he would. He's stubborn as his father. Is he…is he alright?"

Draco nodded once. Petunia let out a breath Draco hadn't been aware she was holding.

Petunia opened her mouth and looked as if she was going to say something else when the door to the room Sirius had disappeared into opened abruptly.

"I'm done." Sirius said casually. His knife was gone, and in his hands was a small, fat, scarred toad.

"Is that…?" Draco motioned to the toad.

Sirius smiled the very same smile that Draco often saw on his Aunt Bellatrix. It seemed the two Blacks had more in common then most thought. "Of course it is."

"That's _it_?" Draco shouted. "After all he did … y-you -"

Sirius silenced him with a single level glare. It had been a while since someone had been able to do that to him.

"Catch." Sirius threw the toad at Draco carelessly. The only reason that Draco caught it was because of his Seeker skills. Draco scowled. It was just a fat toad!

On closer inspection, however, Draco saw a labyrinth of deep scars criss-crossing over the toad's rough skin. Draco fan a finger over one of them, and the toad squeaked in a way that let Draco know it was in pain.

_Good_.

"Oh, _brilliant_." Draco snarled victoriously. "The knife?"

Sirius pulled it out of his pocket far enough to show Draco the bloodied blade of the knife. Through some fit of Gryffindor kindness, he did it at an angle that Petunia couldn't see the blood.

Petunia motioned to the toad in Draco's palm. "Vernon…is he…?"

"He's not dead." Sirius bit out. "He'll remain a toad for the rest of his life. He's _yours_ to take care of now."

Reluctantly, Draco dropped the toad into Petunia's outstretched hand. She nearly dropped it when the toad hit her hand. Petunia eyed it with practiced disgust that Draco was _sure _Harry had been on the receiving end of more often than not. She set her lips into a thin, white line.

"It's going to look like he just…disappeared." she said, sounding faint.

"I'll take care of it." Sirius said coldly. "Don't worry, you won't look like a murderer."

She nodded once. "No on will ask about him?"

"No."

"Good." She dumped Vernon-the-Toad on the table and gave it one of the iciest glares Draco had ever seen, even after years of living in the Slytherin dorms and in the Malfoy manor. "I absolutely _hate_ reptiles and toads and frogs. I don't think it will survive very long out in the wild, not with all the hawks I've seen recently."

Vernon-the-Toad let out a terrified croak. Draco stared at the woman in front of him with a newfound appreciation. Perhaps not _all_ Muggles were complete dunderheads. The woman who stood before him possessed the potential to have been as great and as nasty and as cunning a woman as his mother, had she been born a pureblood or even a half-blood.

Sirius's lips quirked in approval as he looked at his best friend's sister-in-law.

"I always told Lily you weren't a complete fright." he praised.

Petunia raised an eyebrow, seemingly unperturbed - a display only falsified by her shaking hands. "Did you, now?"

"Well, no." Sirius shrugged. "But she was always telling us."

Draco thought Petunia had never been more touched, relieved, shocked, and disgusted with herself in her entire life. Sirius gestured to the door.

"Let's go." he nudged Draco in the direction of the door. "We're done here."

"What about her?" Though Draco understood, and empathized, with Harry's Aunt, he couldn't just _forgive_ her for the way she had treated Harry.

"She didn't touch him." Sirius shook his head. "Harry will forgive us for going after his Uncle. But even though he's the 'Golden Gryffindor'," he quoted Draco's description of the raven during their first trip to New York City. "He'll never forgive either of us for hurting someone who'd never put a hand on him."

"What about that fat kid?" Draco suddenly remembered Harry saying something about being fast so Dudley couldn't catch him. "Mudley or whatever?"

To his immense surprise, Sirius let out a bark of laughter. "Believe it or not, Harry and Dudley made up after the war."

Draco scowled. "You're right, I don't believe you."

"Fine. Wait a month and ask him yourself." Sirius gave Draco an exasperated glare. "Why the bloody hell would I lie to you?"

A small cough brought both Sirius and Draco's attention back to Petunia. She was looking at her feet, avoiding eye contact with either wizard.

"I don't think that …Harry -" Draco realized that this was the first time she'd used the boy's name all night. "- would have willingly told or shown you …proof… of what Vernon did to him. Is he…is he alright?"

She was unable to lift her eyes to meet either Sirius or Draco's, but Draco was able to hear a new emotion in her voice - worry. He was sure that it was one of the first times that she had ever been actually, _truly_ worried about her nephew.

But she was worried about him _now_.

"A spell backfired. He was de-aged to his seven-year-old self." Sirius explained briskly. His face softened when he saw how white the woman's knuckles were. "He's _fine_, and the antidote will be ready by the end of the next month."

Petunia bit her lip, but didn't speak. The men took this as their signal to leave.

"Well that was informative." Sirius said grimly as he closed the front door behind him.

"I'm glad _you_ were satisfied." Draco snapped. "_I_ didn't do anything! Why didn't you let me have a go at the fat pig? I've seen and done a lot, I could have annihilated him!"

"Damnit, Draco!" Sirius grabbed Draco by the shoulders and forced the blonde to look him in the eyes. "Would you just _think_ a minute? Consider the consequences of what I just did! Why do you think Harry never told anyone what was going on at home? Because he didn't want anyone to seek revenge!" Sirius answered his own question before Draco could interrupt. "He didn't want his friends to bloody their hands and possibly land themselves in Azkaban! And, quite frankly, do you honestly expect Harry to be as willing to forgive _you_ for torturing his _only _living relatives as he would be for Ron or Hermione?"

"I don't care!" Draco snapped. "He's already going to hate me for listening to everything he's told me. What's one more reason?"

Sirius looked like he would quite like to hit Draco, but he miraculously refrained. "Then maybe you'll consider the whole Azkaban thing? If this gets back to the Ministry, you would have landed your arse next to your father!"

"I don't care anymore!" Draco shouted. He was furious to find himself dangerously close to tears. "I just don't care! Do you think anyone's going to want to work with an ex-Death Eater anyway?"

"Come it off, you know that you can go to America -"

"What if I don't _want_ to leave my home? What if they find out?" Draco was infuriated. He had fucked up, and no one would let him wallow in self-pity, even for a little while. "And, to be perfectly honest, I really don't think that _Potter_ would care if I was sent to Azkaban!"

"And what about _me_?" Sirius snarled. "What if _I_ don't want you to go to Azkaban?"

"Why would you care?" Draco really felt like he was about to cry.

Sirius's face softened. "Draco," he sighed. "I have _no_ family left. My parents, grandparents, brother, aunts, uncles - all dead. I had three cousins. Bellatrix is dead. Andromeda died two months after the war. Tonks, Anna's only child, was killed at the Battle of Hogwarts. And as you bloody well know, Narcissa went completely mad. You and Teddy are the only real family that I have left. You think I want to lose you?"

Sirius was merciful enough not to comment on the small tears that managed to overflow from Draco's glassy eyes. Draco looked down, unable to meet the older man's dark, stormy eyes any longer.

"I…I didn't think of it that way." Draco mumbled.

Sirius smiled softly, then pulled Draco into a rough hug. "I'm sure you didn't. But now you'll be able to. Now," he let Draco pull away, ending the hug before it became awkward. "Shall we go back to Hogwarts? I'm sure Kiddo misses you."

Draco was about to reply when the door behind them flew open. Petunia's wild expression calmed slightly when she caught sight of the wizards.

"I thought you'd left." she breathed. "Can…can you tell him something for me?"

Draco nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Petunia took a deep breath, and visibly summoned all the courage she had. She looked Draco square in the eye, and spoke six words that neither Draco nor Sirius ever expected to hear from the cold woman.

"Tell Harry I'm proud of him."

* * *

I'm going to have a million and one reviews for this chapter, it's the one that everyone's been waiting for. :) I know I haven't updated in a while, and I'm so sorry it took so long - I've been working my butt off to get it perfect and I was really busy the past few weeks - but it's up now! 3 I love this chapter, tell me what you think! I'm pretty sure that this isn't how everyone envisioned this scenario, but I think it'll satisfy the rabid fans. ^^ Reviewers get to send a hawk after Vernon-the-Toad. :D


	17. The Royal Battle

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWF - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Seventeen**

**_The Royal Battle_**

_A man is not complete until he has seen the baby he has made. _  
_Sammy Davis Jr._

* * *

Draco decided to wait until Harry was back to being himself to tell him his Aunt's message. He didn't think that a seven-year-old would quite appreciate the woman's praise.

He slipped into the Slytherin dorms silently, grateful that Sirius knew everything about sneaking into and out of the castle without getting caught. He had hoped that he would've been able to sneak into the dorms undetected. He had hoped he'd have been able to get some sleep that night.

He had also hoped for an uneventful year, and look where that had gotten him.

"_Draconius Lucius Malfoy_."

Pansy Parkinson stood in the middle of the empty common room, hands on her hips. Her eyes were narrowed, her teeth were bared, and her lips were caught between a snarl and a sneer.

"_What have you done_?" she hissed. "I got a firecall from Professor Lupin earlier! Do you know how _frantic_ he was? He figured out what you two _morons_ were doing!"

Draco ground his teeth together, and prepared himself for the inevitable Battle. The students of Slytherin, usually at the end of the year, named a fight between two of its members the Battle of the year. The Battle was the fight that woke up all the members of the House in the dead of night. It was the fight that made all the Slytherins uneasy , the fight that lasted for weeks on end and usually divided the House in two. The Battle was usually between a couple, or a pair of best friends after the same crush. There was not always a fight worthy of being named The Battle. Hell, there had only been two in the seven years Draco had been at Hogwarts.

Unfortunately, Draco had a feeling that he was about to be immersed in the greatest of all the Battles in Slytherin history.

"What have you _done_?" Pansy screamed. "Goddamnit, Draco, you will answer me! _What have you done_?"

"Nothing you wouldn't have done!" Draco shot back, not bothering to keep his voice down. If people were stupid enough to come down when they heard screaming, let them.

"I didn't feel like going and torturing Muggles because of something that happened over eleven years ago!" Pansy snarled. She slammed a fist down on the coffee table next to the couch she stood in front of. "What were you _thinking_?"

"I was thinking that he deserved justice!" Draco shouted. He heard the faint patter of the first of their soon-to-be-observers.

"Who, exactly? Harry or the arsehole?"

"Both." Draco crossed his arms stubbornly.

"This isn't justice! This is revenge!" Pansy looked closed to either spitting or throwing a punch in Draco's direction. "Do you think Harry is going to forgive you this? If he wanted revenge, don't you think he would have done it already, _himself_?"

"This doesn't have to do with Harry wanting revenge!" Draco began pacing. A couple of harried looking sixth years came down the stairs, stopping when they saw the Prince and Queen of Slytherin in the midst of a shouting match, looking quite close to blows. The two girls froze, and one scurried back up the stairs, presumably to tell the rest of the House of the match in the common room.

"Then what does it have to do with?" Pansy hissed. "For gods' _sake_, Draco! This isn't your fight! Why would you do this - you're still on parole!"

Draco winced. He had enough to deal with without having his trial brought into the argument.

"Don't worry, I won't get thrown in Azkaban." Draco drawled, rolling his eyes. "Black said I can't be held responsible because I didn't actually touch the bastard."

"And you trust him?" Pansy tore at her hair, grinding her teeth in anger. The dying fire suddenly flared violently, a signal of Pansy's rising temper. It wasn't very often that she lost control, so when Draco saw, and felt, the fire's vigorous rebirth, he knew he was in for one hell of a Battle. "He was in fucking Azkaban, he's Sirius fucking Black! You've heard how Lupin talks about him! Even when he was in school he didn't care about the consequences or who got hurt, so long as he got what he wanted done!"

"I don't care, either!" Draco shouted. He stopped pacing and stood in front of Pansy, shaking with anger. "All I care is that the fucking Muggle got what he bloody well deserved!"

Pansy stared at him in wide-eyed, incredulous amazement. "You've become your father." she whispered, horrified.

The not-so-small crowed that had gathered at the stairs gasped quietly. Though Draco's father had been spared the Kiss, he was still rotting away in Azkaban. Lucius Malfoy was allowed monthly visits from his son, under heavy supervision, of course, but Draco hadn't seen him since before Christmas. A very heated argument between the two Malfoy men had resulted in Draco being disowned and Draco declaring that he'd never speak to or visit his father again. _Everyone_, even those not in Slytherin, knew better than to mention Draco's father.

Draco's wand was in his hand and pointed at Pansy's chest before the crowd went completely silent again.

"Shut your mouth." Draco hissed. "You shut your mouth, Parkinson, or I'll shut it for you."

Pansy narrowed her eyes at the wand, and crossed her arms, seemingly unperturbed by the notion of being forced into silence by Draco Malfoy. "What are you going to do, Malfoy?" she asked, voice scarily calm. "Hex me into agreeing with you? Going to make your daddy _proud_, are you?""Shut up!" Draco roared. "Just shut the fuck _up_!"

"_Make me_!" Pansy shrieked, her knuckles turning white from gripping her arms so tightly. Her eyes shone with tears of anger and frustration that threatened to fall. "You're the big, bad Death Eater, aren't you? Aren't you _supposed _to be good at making unwilling people do what you want? You've sure got torturing Muggles down!"

Draco's stinging hex hit Pansy square in the jaw. She stumbled back with a startled scream, clutching her jaw. He hadn't meant to throw the hex, but Pansy just wouldn't shut _up_. Because she was the one he ran to when he had nightmares, the one he told all his worries and fears to, she knew where, and how hard, to hit Draco in order to drive him absolutely insane.

"_Draco_!" Daphne Greengrass's scandalized shout seemed to bring Pansy back to her senses.

Draco expected a similar response from Pansy, accompanied by a much stronger hex. He wasn't even going to try to defend himself. He deserved whatever she did to him, he knew he did.

He didn't, however, anticipate being body-slammed by a five-foot-two, hundred pound, eighteen-year-old girl. He also didn't expect Pansy to throw a right hook hard enough to shatter Draco's jaw.

"You son of a _bitch_!" Pansy shouted. She managed to straddle the stunned blonde, and continued to hit Draco across the face any way she could. "Bastard! You - you _coward_!"

It took Draco a minute to realize that he was, indeed, getting his face rearranged by a small pixie of a girl. It took him another minute to convince himself to get the pissed girl off of him.

That proved to be difficult once Pansy managed to make a gouge above his right eyebrow, causing blood to flow down into his eyes. He spluttered when it reached his mouth, and attempted to catch at least one of Pansy's flailing fists of fury.

The bright red blood must have spurred the eldest Slytherins into action, because Pansy was very suddenly lifted off of her victim. She screamed bloody murder in the arms of her captors, but was unable to pry herself loose from the arms of Millicent Buldstrone and Gregory Goyle.

Draco was hauled up rather roughly by the Greengraass sisters. Astoria tried to wipe the blood out of Draco's eyes, but he slapped her hand away irritably.

"Damn you!" Pansy shrieked, sobbing. "God_damn_ you, Draco Malfoy! You've ruined _everything_!"

She managed to wrench herself out of Millicent and Greg's grasp (a feat Draco would have been impressed by any other day) and ran up the stairs to the girl's dormitories. Millicent and Daphne gave Draco infuriated glances and raced up after her. Slowly, the rest of the Slytherins disappeared back into their respective dorms, whispering furiously about the scene they had just witnessed. No doubt they'd have several theories to justify the historical Battle that had taken place, but Draco doubted any of them would be even close to the truth.

"Mate, you are fucked." Theodore Nott shook his head slowly and crossed his arms. "What did you do?"

"None of your sodding business." Draco spat a mouthful of blood onto the carpet. Theodore eyed it disdainfully.

"Seeing as you two probably just had the most epic Battle Slytherin has _ever_ seen, I do believe it _is_ my business now." Theodore shrugged. "But if you're not going to tell me, then there's nothing I can do to make you."

Draco wiped his eyes the best he could with the backs of his hands. He was grateful when Greg handed him a white handkerchief. He may have always been the quiet one of Draco's 'bodyguards', but Draco had always suspected Gregory Goyle of being much smarter and kinder than he appeared.

"Where's Harry?" Draco asked suddenly, changing subjects quickly. Harry … he _must_ have heard the fight! The entire House heard, he must have! So where was he? Come to think of it, where was Blaise? He would have stopped the fight before Draco cast the Stinging Hex, or even before Pansy started comparing Draco to his father.

"Soon as we heard the shouting, Blaise ran to your room and locked the door behind him. He must be keeping Harry in there so the brat doesn't see this." Theodore shrugged and walked toward the stairs, Greg in tow. Greg paused at the bottom of the stairs.

"I think you should go up there," he said slowly, without turning around. "I think I heard the kid crying."

Greg disappeared up the stairs after Theodore, leaving Draco alone in the deserted, and now slightly bloodied, common room.

"Son of a _bitch_." Draco muttered. He wiped his face the best he could with the now-sullied handkerchief and shoved it into his pocket. The cut on his forehead had stopped bleeding, and he felt his right eye swelling. He debated going to the infirmary, but decided against it. Not only would it raise many questions that would be better off unasked, but he wanted a reminder of his stupidity. Hopefully, the gash wouldn't scar too badly.

Draco took a deep breath and made his way up to his room. He paused when he reached his door, and, on an impulse, pressed his ear against the door. He didn't hear anything, so he whispered a spell his father had taught him years ago to heighten his hearing. Blaise's comforting voice came through - like static, at first, but it soon cleared up.

"See?" he was saying. "They've stopped shouting. Everything's okay now."

"I w-want Draco!" Harry's small, high-pitched voice came through. Draco winced - Harry's voice only went high when he was incredibly upset. "I want D-draco!"

"I _know_." Draco could pick up a hint of exasperation in Blaise's tone, but the Italian hid it very well, so Draco didn't think that Harry picked up on it. "But I don't think you should see him right now. He's going to be very angry."

"P-pansy called h-him a c-coward." Harry hiccupped. "He's not a c-coward!"

Draco felt a wave of heart-swelling pride. Harry was proud of him, at least enough so that he wouldn't allow Draco to be called a coward. It was oddly comforting.

"Harry," It was one of the only times Draco had ever heard Blaise use Harry's first name while talking to the small boy. It was usually 'brat' or 'kiddo'. "You want me to be perfectly honest, right?" Blaise paused. Harry must have nodded, because the Slytherin continued. "Then I'll be honest. Quite frankly, I don't want _you_ seeing Draco and I doubt Draco wants to be seen by you. You need to trust me when I tell you that Draco's okay."

"I don' trust _no_ body." Harry sniffed angrily.

"You trust Draco."

"Tha's different." Draco could almost heard Harry's scowl, and he smiled in spite of himself. He slid down the door until he was kneeling in his doorway, his head resting against the cool, dark mahogany of his door.

"Can't bring yourself to face him?" Pansy's dark voice came from behind him. Draco shrugged, and she sat down beside him with a sigh.

"Are you alright?" Draco asked quietly, sneaking a sideways glance at the girl. A nasty burn streaked across her left cheek, stretching from her mouth to her ear.

She waved her hand at the blonde boy. "I'm fine. I've been hit by worse before and you know it. You, however, look like you've been in a fight with that hippogriff again."

Draco shrugged again. "I didn't fight back. I deserved it, anyway."

"Not all of it." Pansy touched his gash gingerly and he winced. "I'm…sorry, Draco. I really am. I should've listened to you before flying off the handle like that."

Draco nodded once, acknowledging her apology. He wouldn't cheapen it by saying he was sorry as well. No, he wished he hadn't attacked Pansy, but he wasn't going to apologize for it. He hadn't been in the wrong.

"What happened, Draco?" Pansy asked, laying her head on the male's shoulder. "You couldn't've just gone away and done absolutely nothing to those horrid people. That's not like you."

Draco closed his eyes, and ended the spell, making Blaise's gentle condolences fade away once more. He turned so his back was to the door, his legs bent at the knees. Pansy copied his movement, and waited for an explanation.

So he gave her one. He told her everything that had happened since the Incident. He told her about how scared he was when he had first thought he had killed Potter, about how it felt to learn about Teddy and Sirius and knowing they were truly family, about how it felt to watch Vernon Dursley's face pale as he realized that he was screwed and there was _nothing_ he could do about it. Draco released the dam of emotions he'd been holding back. He held nothing back this time, not how he felt when Harry smiled at him, how he liked being held in Remus' arms because Remus was strong and it made Draco feel safe. He told her _everything_.

Never once did Pansy interrupt him. She didn't cough or make faces or nod and say "I agree." She just sat and listened. Both she and Draco knew that if she had interrupted, even once, Draco might not have continued.

Draco talked for what must have been at least an hour. When he finally stopped, his throat was sore and his mouth dry., He snapped his jaw shut, and brought his knees up underneath his chin. It was five minutes before Pansy said anything.

"You still haven't told me why you would go after those people." she said slowly. "You're not stupid, Draco. You know as well as I do that if he had wanted revenge -"

"It isn't about what Harry wanted!" Draco gripped his hair tightly. He pressed his eyes to his knees, hoping the pain would scare away the tears. "For Christ's' sake, _I_ wanted revenge!"

"Why?"

"Because…because I love him!" Draco cried, pulling his hair tighter. "And not just the little boy in my bed right now. I've fallen in love with the eighteen-year-old Savior of the Wizarding World!" He took a deep breath and rushed forward before Pansy could tell him he was imagining things. "Every time I look at Harry I imagine him _older_. I actually _miss_ his banter because he was actually pretty witty when he wanted to be. I look at him _now_, and I can understand everything. I understand why he felt the need to take every problem our school ever had head-on, and I understand why he prevailed. I look at him no and I know what he grows up to be like and to do and it's something that I absolutely love knowing because I know that _no one else_ - not even Granger or Weasley - no one else know what I do. I love how he frowns when he concentrates on something and that he bites his lip when he can't figure it out. I remember him doing that during McGonagall's class because Granger always hit him and told him to stop it because it was a nasty habit. I love that he memorizes the most random trivia that no one else knows! Goddamnit, I _love_ him!"

He ended up shouting by the end. Pansy stared at him in wide-eyed amazement.

"You really do love him." she whispered, awed. Draco nodded, kindly refraining from pointing out that he had been saying that for the past hour.

"I know." Draco groaned, and allowed Pansy to wrap her arms around him.

"So what are you going to do?"

"That," Draco held up a finger. "I do _not _know."

Eris ran past the two Slytherins at a full gallop, interrupting their special moment. She skid to a stop a few yards down the hall and trotted back to the couple with her tail held high. Eris sat her little white butt down right in front of Draco and fixed her unnerving emerald gaze on him. She waited a moment, then yowled loudly.

"I think she wants in." Pansy observed nonchalantly. The two teens exchanged a glance, and burst into hysterical giggles.

"C'mere, Eris." Draco, still chuckling, scooped up the tiny kitten and stroked her ears. The feline let out a content putt, and busied herself with making a nest in his arms. "Did you run out when Blaise opened the door?"

"Probably." Pansy ran a hand over Eris' spine. The cat arched happily, purring louder. "Speaking of Blaise, shouldn't you release him from his babysitting duties? He's probably at his wit's end."

Draco snorted. "He'll be a horrible father. He has no patience for little kids."

Pansy shrugged as she stood up. "I can train him."

"I'm sure."

Pansy scowled. "Or maybe _you_ can. Seeing as you're the Baby Guru and all."

"He's not a baby, Pans. He's seven years old." Draco allowed himself to be hauled up. He paused. "We're good, right?"

"I already told you yes."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry I hexed you." Draco rested his hand on the doorknob, nervous to go in.

"I know." Pansy said simply. She stopped him quickly. "Wait, don't you dare go in there, there's blood all over your face!"

A quick spell gently cleaned Draco's face and hair, leaving both devoid of blood.

"Thanks." He hadn't moved.

Pansy paused, then hugged Draco quickly. "Don't give up, Draco. We're both spoiled brats - we always get what, and_ who_ we want."

Draco smiled and returned the hug. "Think Blaise'll kill me?"

"Most defiantly."

Draco sighed, and forced himself to open the door. He peeked inside warily, then opened the door fully, laughing quietly. Pansy followed, curious.

Blaise lay on top of Draco's sheets, sound asleep and snoring softly. Harry was curled into his side, his head on the Italian's stomach. The boy's eyes were red and puffy, and tear tracks were evident on his face. He sniffed pitifully every couple of minutes, but otherwise his slumber was undisturbed. Blaise had a hand protectively placed on Harry's hair. The two look exhausted.

"Horrible father, huh?" Pansy muttered. Draco smirked as he closed the door.

"I suppose I'm sleeping in your room tonight." he said innocently.

"Like hell. I'll take the cat - go sleep in the common room, you abusive son of a bitch." Pansy took Eris from Draco's arms and walked off to her rooms without another glance back.

Draco laughed the entire time as he made his way back down to the common room.

* * *

This is unedited, so I may delete it and re-update later. ^^; But I wanted to get this up! I loves this chapter. ^^ Just so you all know, I broke my rule for you! I have a rule when I'm posting a multichapter fic - always have the next chapter typed before I post one. That way I can't fall behind. But because I haven't updated in forever, I broke that rule. FOR YOU! So don't ya'll bug me when I don't update for a couple of weeks. ^^'

I just started my Junior year at my school today and I'm already swamped with work. *faints* I have two study periods, so I'll try to use that time in order to write more for the fic. :) I'm hoping to finish the story by the end of the month, but I don't know how likely that is. I'm absolutly terrible with deadlines. ^^''' I've got soccer, 2 AP classes, 3 honors classes and babysitting jobs lined up for the entire month. :O I think I'm gonna die. HOWEVER! I will try my absolute hardest to update once a week. I can't promise you that, but I will do my best - I promise!

To compensate, I'll probably be writing more one - and two - shots. :) I probably won't upload another multichapter fic more than 5 chapters long for a while, unless I finish it before I post it. But I will write more one shots, so I'm not abandoning the site!

I would also like to once again thank everyone who has reviewed, or added the story or myself to their alerts or favorites! I had a rough day, and coming home to over 100 messages of people telling me how fantastic I am and how I made their days just completely made my day so much better. :) I love all my readers and reviewers, and I love getting reviews, no matter how long. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH! 3

Wow, that's a long Author's note. ^^'' But I had a lot to say, and now I just have one more thing to say:

Review, my darlings! 3 Keep following the story, I think you'll like where it goes. :3


	18. Back To Normal

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWF - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Eighteen**

**_Back To Normal_**

_A baby is an angel whose wings decrease while his legs increase._

_~ Annonymous_

* * *

The final weeks passed by so quickly that when Draco woke up that fateful Sunday morning, he though it was still the week beforehand. Groaning, he rolled over and cast a Tempus charm. It showed 8:19 A.M.. What ungodly force had caused him to wake up so bloody early on a _Sunday_?

The loud pounding on his door probably had something to do with it.

"Draaaaaaaaay-co, make 'em go 'waaaaay…" Harry mumbled, burrowing further underneath the covers.

Draco smiled with pride. Four months of living with him, and Draco had beat the morning person right out of the young raven.

And they said it couldn't be done.

"Draco, open the door!" Pansy shouted.

"Go away!" Draco shouted back. He crawled under the covers as well and ended up next to Harry. Harry pressed their foreheads together and looked at Draco with crossed eyes as he tried to wake up and focus. Harry giggled as Draco crossed his eyes as well, scrunching his nose. Draco laughed, and nearly jumped out of bed when Harry licked his nose like a small puppy.

"Should we get up?" Draco whispered as he settled back in under the sheets, not wanting to break the morning bliss that seemed to be on Harry like a calming spell. It was contagious, and Draco wished he had woken up like this more often on the weekends he had shared with the small boy.

Harry shook his head and covered his mouth as he tried to stifle his giggles. "No!"

"Okay. Lie very still and maybe the Wicked Witch of the East will go away." Draco made sure the sheets were covering both boys completely. Harry curled into a small ball against Draco's chest and grew very still, save for the few giggles that he failed to stifle.

The pounding on Draco's door stopped, and Draco sighed in relief. "See? She went away. Now we can go back to -"

BANG!

Draco's door swung wide open and crashed into the opposing wall. Harry's eyes widened, and he burst into a renewed fit of giggles. Their blanket was ripped rather rudely from the grasps, and the two former enemies were exposed to an amused Blaise and an irritated Pansy.

"Draco Malfoy, you are _such_ a pain in the you-know-what!" Pansy huffed. She had taken to not cursing in front of Harry after he dropped an f-bomb, claiming to have heard it from Pansy when she was talking to Daphne.

Draco glared at her good-naturedly and hugged his pillow to his chest. "Go 'way, I wanna sleep."

"Me too." Harry glared just as effectively as Draco at the two Slytherins , and then buried his face in Draco's pillow. Draco wondered briefly if the boy could breathe, but quickly shrugged the thought away. If Harry needed to breathe, he wasn't stupid enough to suffocate himself with a pillow.

"Don't you know what day it is?" Pansy ask incredulously.

"Sunday?" Draco shrugged and eyes, nestling into his pillow. "Which means I can _sleep_ for once, especially since exams are over -"

"And graduation is next week." Pansy said carefully. She was treading on thin ice - Draco wasn't exactly coherent in the mornings, and it sometimes took him a while to understand some things.

"Right, graduation is next…" Draco trailed off, and his eyes flew open. "T-today?"

"Yeah, mate." Blaise shifted uncomfortably. "C'mon, we gotta pack up the kid's stuff before we head to Dumbledore's office. Somehow I doubt Harry or any of the Gryffindorks'll want to come back for it all later."

Draco sat up slowly, and he locked eyes with Pansy. Harry followed suit curiously, not quite sure why Draco seemed so upset. It was just Sunday, after all.

"Today." Draco repeated, eyes studying Pansy's face for any sign of a joke.

Pansy nodded slowly, and later she would recall never having seen Draco look so lost and heartbroken before in her life.

* * *

"Do you know why you're here today, Harry?" Dumbledore's blue eyes watched Harry carefully. The sight in front of him was oddly familiar, but very different at the same time.

Draco and Harry once again sat in front of him, though this time Harry sat on Draco's lap and looked utterly miserable. He wore his school uniform from four months earlier, and it was much too long for him. In his small hands, the raven held Draco's tightly, their fingers intertwined, as if he didn't ever want to let go again. Mr. Weasley and Miss Granger were also in the office, as they were last time, but now they were accompanied by a pair of Slytherins who looked as if they were going to a funeral.

Dumbledore had expected Draco to look as if he would at least miss the young boy, especially considering how inseparable they'd been for the past four months. Instead, the blonde had on the perfect expression of indifference, one that would have made his father proud, and he paid no attention to the boy on his lap. It was only because of his numerous years as a teacher that Dumbledore was able to catch the tension in the blonde's jaw, the white of his knuckles as he squeezed Harry's hand in his own, and the slight redness to his eyes.

Harry scowled at Dumbledore, who simply blinked in surprise. It seemed the child had learned quite a few things from the youngest Malfoy.

"Yes." Harry shot Dumbledore a look of such pure loathing that Dumbledore nearly flinched.

Nearly.

"I am simply making sure that you understand what -" Dumbledore was interrupted, rather rudely, by an infuriated seven-year-old boy.

"I'm not a baby!" Harry shouted. "I know what's going on! I'm not _stupid_!"

Taken aback, Dumbledore decided to take another route. "I never thought you were, my boy, I only -"

"Wanted to tell me that 'Fesser Snape's got the potion ready." Harry gave Dumbledore a glare that the old man had never seen on the Potter boy's face before. "You wanna take me away from Draco!"

Dumbledore did not miss the collective wince that went around the room. It seemed that no one - not his friends, his godfather, nor his caretakers - had been able to reason with Harry about taking the potion. Dumbledore had a feeling that each person in the room had had an argument with the child at one point, and had not gotten far at all.

Everyone, it looked like, except Draco Malfoy. He refused to look at any one - not even Harry. The blonde instead stared straight ahead, seemingly oblivious to everything around him.

Dumbledore was saved from what would have been a futile conversation with a stubborn seven-year-old when Severus came in through the door to his office. He carried a goblet of a bright blue liquid that smelt like peppermint and fresh grass.

"The remedy, Headmaster." Severus said coolly, bowing his head slightly. "I presume I am to give it to Potter now?"

He made to give the goblet to the boy, but Harry kicked out suddenly, nearly knocking the goblet out of Severus' hand.

"You fool!" Severus snapped at the boy, steadying the potion. "This is all I have - you will stay like this for another four months if you spill it!"

"Then dump it out the window!" Harry shouted. "_I don' want it_!"

Severus looked to Dumbledore, who merely shrugged in confusion. "Why don't you want it?" Dumbledore was quite proud of the Potions Master - he had managed not to shout at the small boy.

"I wanna stay with Draco." Harry said stubbornly.

Suddenly Dumbledore's office was alive with protests from all of those gathered.

"Don't you want to be eighteen again?"

"C'mon, mate! Malfoy? Why him?"

"Don't you miss your friends?""You can still visit -"

"- Might use force, just take it -"

"I don't want you."

The entire room froze, and every eye turned to stare at Draco in shock. Draco still stared straight ahead, his jaw clenched tighter. He had removed his hands from Harry's, and now held onto the chair's arms. His knuckles turned white and Dumbledore could've sworn he heard the wood of the chair groan in protest as Draco grasped it tighter and tighter.

"W-what?" Harry looked up at Draco in disbelief with wide eyes that seemed to quiver.

"I don't want you." Draco said again, coldly. Dumbledore almost missed how tight Draco's voice was, and he found himself wondering just how much the blonde boy had managed to hide from others his whole life.

Harry slid off of Draco's lap slowly and turned to face him, still not believing that he had heard the Slytherin correctly. "You're lying." His voice trembled, giving away that he didn't quite believe what he was saying.

Draco finally looked at Harry, who shrank back under the icy glare he received.

"I _never_ wanted you." Draco continued, voice soft and filled with a hatred that the room's occupants were used to hearing from the blonde. "I had to take care of you as my _punishment_, remember?"

"Stop it." Harry whispered fearfully.

"I never wanted you and I'm glad to be rid of you." Draco stood, sneering at the terrified boy in front of him. "You've wasted four _months_ of my life, I hope you're happy. Now you can go back to being an eighteen-year-old arsehole who spends his time basking in the glory of the murder he committed. Congratulations."

"I knew it." Harry whispered angrily, tears running down his face. "I _knew_ it!"

"And what could _you_ possibly know?" Draco asked coldly. Dumbledore could see a slight hint of pain in the boy's eyes before it was hidden completely.

Harry shook his head slowly, tears slowing as anger replaced the disbelief in his eyes. "I knew no one cared about me!"

"Oh, no, you're _wrong_, Potter." Dumbledore feared what else would come out of Draco's venomous mouth. "The ones who all care about you _die_ because of you. Do you think I'm stupid enough to subject myself to that fate?"

With that, Draco turned on his heel and stalked out of Dumbledore's office. Severus narrowed his eyes at his godson's retreating back, but said nothing. The entire room was silent, all horrified and shocked by Draco's outburst.

Silently, Harry raised his hand towards Severus, indicating that he wanted the goblet. Severus gave it to him without a word, and Harry looked at the potion with distaste. Then he took a large gulp of the potion.

For a few breathless moments, nothing happened. Then Harry dropped the goblet and clutched at his head. Miss Granger made as if to start towards him, but Mr. Weasley wisely held her back.

A blinding flash of bright blue light engulfed Harry and lingered around him for a full minute. Harry was completely covered by the pulsing light.

"Professor, you're sure it won't _hurt_ him if it's wrong, right?" Miss Parkinson had surely meant to sound nonchalant, but Dumbledore easily heard her genuine concern.

"Absolutely." Severus kept his eyes trained on the blue light, which was slowly fading. Suddenly, the light disappeared completely and young, seven-year-old Harry was gone.

In front of them all stood Harry James Potter, eighteen-year-old Savior of the Wizarding World. Instead of being a thin boy with growth development problems, he stood tall and broad at a solid six foot. His bright green eyes raked over every occupant in the room, and landed on Miss Parkinson and Mr. Zabini.

"Tell him I understand." Harry's voice was rough and scratchy, as if he wasn't used to speaking with such a low-octave voice before. "I don't blame him."

Miss Parkinson nodded warily, watching Harry as a dog might a fellow dog that could turn on her any moment. Harry returned the brisk nod, and took a step towards his two friends, before stumbling over his suddenly-too-large feet. The Gryffindors rushed to his side immediately.

"Oh, _Harry_!" Miss Granger gasped. "Oh, I'm so glad that you're alright! I was afraid it wouldn't work." She looked close to tears.

Harry's eyes glazed over, and he blinked groggily. "Whas…whas hap'nin'?" he slurred.

Severus waved a hand. "It's to be expected. You've just grown eleven years in about a minute. You need to go to the hospital wing and stay there at least overnight. Go, already!" he snapped when Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley simply stared blankly at him. They gave twin sneers, but gave into his order. As they passed by Mr. Zabini and Miss Parkinson, Harry struggled to get away from them.

"Le' go." He mumbled.

"No." Mr. Weasley said firmly. "You can't walk on your own!"

Grumbling, Harry's eyes looked onto the two Slytherins. "We're gonna talk." he said forcefully. "Don' you _dare_ think we're through."

Swallowing painfully, Miss Parkinson nodded. "Yes. Yes - of course."

Harry narrowed his eyes, but allowed Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley to half-carry him out of the room.

"Headmaster?" Mr. Zabini asked Dumbledore. "May we leave, now?"

"Yes, now that we're sure Potter's alright, it's rather _boring_ in here." Miss Parkinson sniffed.

Dumbledore understood at once - _We have to go see Draco_. He nodded, and the two were out of the door within seconds. Severus shook his head.

"This isn't over, is it?" he drawled.

"I would think not, Severus." Dumbledore said mildly.

"Why can't anything ever be simple?" Severus complained. "Those two will dance around whatever issues they have for days or weeks or months, and then confront everything in a way where they both get hurt! Contrary to popular belief, I do not enjoy seeing children in pain. Well," he quickly amended. "Not my godson, at any rate."

Dumbledore didn't have to ask who 'they' were.

"Because, Severus, they would not learn anything if they went through this 'simply'." Dumbledore smiled knowingly. "And they would not be Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy if they did this with calm, level heads. Let them do this on their own."

Severus snorted. "Since when don't you interfere in Harry Potter's life."

Dumbledore contemplated this for a moment. "Since I've realized that I don't have to in order for him to do what's best for himself and everyone else." He smiled bitterly. "And since I've decided to let him be selfish for once in his bloody life."

* * *

"Draco?" Pansy knocked on his door tentatively. Blaise stood behind her, shifting anxiously. When Draco didn't answer, she opened the door.

Draco lay in a curled ball on his bed, hugging Harry's Batman-printed pillow to his chest. Little Eris lay nestled against his forehead, her tail curling around the top of his head and her tiny pink nose just barely touching Draco's forehead. Draco's shoulders shook, and a small sob came from him.

"Oh, Draco," Pansy crossed the room quickly and sat next to him. "Draco, why are you crying?"

"Shove off!" Draco snapped. "I don't want you here."

"He said he understood." Blaise said, closing Draco's door behind him.

Draco glared at Blaise over his shoulder. "What?" he snapped.

"Potter. He said he understood, and he doesn't blame you." Blaise shrugged. "He also said that we have to talk with him. Somehow, I don't think the brat'll let us just walk out of his life."

"He's not a brat anymore." Draco mumbled. He turned back to Harry's forgotten pillow, burying his face in the soft fabric. Eris mewed softly, and her tiny tongue darted out to plant a small kiss on his cheek.

"I don't care if he's seven, eighteen, or a hundred-and-two, I shall call him Brat from now on." Blaise declared.

"Will you talk to him?" Pansy inquired, resting a reassuring hand on Draco's shoulder.

Draco nodded. "I just couldn't…couldn't be there. And he wouldn't take the stupid potion, so it was perfect." he sniffed pitifully. "I figured if I made him hate me -"

"He'd take the potion." Pansy nodded. "We figured it out, Draco. We're not stupid."

"You were pretty believable, though, Draco." Blaise winced. "I think you're going to have a field day trying to explain yourself to Granger and Weasley."

Draco grunted. "I don't care about _their_ approval."

"You will once Brat wants to be your friend." Blaise smirked. "Or do you think he'll allow himself to have a boyfriend that can't get on with his best friends?"

Draco's hand shot out and slapped Pansy in the shoulder. "What did you tell him for?"

Blaise's eyebrows climbed into his hairline. "Mother of Circe, I was _right_?"

"I didn't tell him anything." Pansy rolled her eyes. "But _you_ just did."

Draco shouted an obscenity into his pillow and curled into a smaller ball.

"Oh, come on, Draco," Pansy rested her forearms on Draco's side. "You'll get your boy. We'll help, right?" She looked at Blaise expectantly.

Blaise shrugged. "I suppose. I've grown kind of fond of Brat, he's superb entertainment. And obviously good for you."

"Tomorrow, we're going to the Hospital Wing." Pansy declared. "And we're going to talk to Potter, all three of us."

* * *

Oh my goodiness! :O Lookit what happened! Harry's back to normal!

I'm gonna get a hundred reviews telling me to come out with the next chapter ASAP. XD So I figured I'll let you know: I'm almost done with the next chapter. I'm going to say this now, this story is going to be over in no more than 5 chapters. I'd like to finish it in three, but I don't think that'll happen - so it'll probably be four or five more chapters, and then maybe an epilogue. :) I promise, I'll try to update soon. Especially since I'll be at my mom's all this weekend (with no internet :O), I think I'll be able to finish the story within the next week or so. But I'm making no promises, so don't hold me to it! ;)

I can't believe that it's almost over! It's been what - a year, maybe? I can't believe my first multi-chapter fanfiction is almost over and done with! You have to understand, I've started many a fanfiction on deviantArt, but I've never gotten past two or three chapters for each one. I think it has a lot to do with how much encouragement I've gotten from all of my lovely reviewers! 3 I have to say, right now, I have 558 reviews! So very many! :O I love each and every review I've gotten, and I've replied to each review that had a reply link. :) I get so excited when I log onto my email, and I see 30, 40, even 50 messages from FF! I want to thank each and every one of the people who have ever reviewed, or added me or this story to their favorites or to their alerts. :D It really makes my day! I promise, I will be writing more multi-chapters, and I've got many one-shots in the making. :) So thank you all so very much, and I hope that you enjoy the rest of this story! ~3~


	19. The Hospital Scene

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWF - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Nineteen**

_**The Hospital Scene**_

_A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be_

_~Anonymous_

Potter was the only one in the hospital wing, which wasn't that surprising. He was sleeping, curled in a half moon. His arm was awkwardly placed, and it looked almost as if he was reaching, looking for someone. His mouth was set in a frown that Draco found out of place after so many months of being attached to the boy.

"Where do you suppose Granger and Weasley are?" Pansy asked, keeping her voice low.

"I chased them out." Madame Pomfrey swept in, holding a try of potions and food. "I assumed you would come eventually, and they were furious with you, Mr. Malfoy. Miss Granger said something about wishing she had hit you harder third year." She set the tray down on the nightstand next to Potter's glasses, and pointed to the food. "Make sure he eats when he wakes up."

The Slytherins nodded. The nurse turned back to her patient and woke him up with a smart slap to his head. "_Mister_ Potter, would you please get _up_? I woke you up fifteen minutes ago!"

"'M sleepin', you ol' hag." Potter mumbled, turning over. "Go 'waaaaay…"

"You've always been up before me!" Pomfrey clucked like a mother hen. "Get up, boy, or I'll get Peeves to do it for me! What possessed you to go back to sleep? You love mornings. I still can't believe you missed the sunrise. You've _never_ done that before!"

Grumbling something about sadistic old women, Potter sat up, yawning loudly. "I don't like mornings any more." he groaned good-naturedly. "And sunsets are just as pretty as sunrises, and at a much more reasonable hour. I want to go back to sleep, Madame Evil Witch Doctor."

"Too bad. You have visitors." Immediately Potter's eyes locked onto Draco, Pansy and Blaise.

"Here." Madame Pomfrey shoved a potion at Potter. "Drink this. Then _eat_! You never eat enough. I swear, you're anorexic."

"I am not." Potter rolled his eyes and downed the potion in one shot. He gagged. "Urgh, that was _nasty_."

"What did you expect?" The nurse's lips twitched. "Pumpkin juice?"

"Be nice to me." Potter glared playfully at the woman. "I just went through puberty over night! Don't you ever feel bad for me when I end up in here, Poppy?"

Madame Pomfrey cuffed him on the back of his head, laughing. "Harry James Potter! I _used_ to feel bad for you, until you started showing up once a month! Now I think you do it deliberately."

"Oh, of course!" Potter's eyes gleamed as he took his glasses from his nightstand and pushed them into place on his nose. "Alas, I can hide it no more! Mine heart aches for you, my sweet!" He dramatically clasped a hand over his heart, grasping one of Madame Pomfrey's in the other. "Run away with me, Poppy dearest! I shall give you everything you could ever desire! Leave this castle behind and come be my bride!"

Madame Pomfrey burst into laughter and snatched her hand back. "I'm afraid I must decline. I do believe you have some serious mother issues, my boy."

Potter laughed, a low, rough sound that made Draco's stomach do back-flips. Madame Pomfrey smiled down at him, then left for her office. "I shall make sure you are not disturbed." she added as she left.

"Thank you!" Potter called cheerfully.

He turned his attention back to the Slytherins, and gestured to the chairs next to his bed. "Well, go on, sit. I doubt you'd rather stand."

Blaise sat as if he wasn't about to embark on an embarrassing conversation with his former enemy, and Pansy and Draco hesitantly followed suit.

"Morning, Brat!" Blaise said cheerfully. "You should eat, or Pomfrey'll have our heads."

Potter arched an eyebrow in perfect imitation of a certain blonde, but pulled his breakfast toward himself. Draco noticed how he eyed the food with a nauseas look. "Brat, am I?"

"I found it appropriate. Unless, of course, you'd like me to start calling you Hero."

Draco found himself almost wanting Potter to say yes, he'd prefer 'Hero'…

Potter blanched. "No, no, Brat is fine." he broke a croissant in half and nibbled on the smaller piece thoughtfully.

A small meow came from Draco's school bag. Eris poked her head out, nose twitching as she smelt the hot food in front of her. Draco picked her up and deposited her on the bed next to Potter, careful not to look at, or touch, him. Eris stared at Potter as if she was trying to decide if he was still her master. Evidently, she thought it would be alright, because she mewled at Potter to give her food. He gave her a piece of bacon, and the pact was sealed - Eris was in love.

"She wouldn't stop crying last night." Draco said indifferently. "And she's your cat, anyway."

Potter's face broke into a delighted smile. "Hey, Kitty." he cooed, running a hand over Eris' back. Eris arched her back, then climbed into Potter's lap and made herself a little nest in the sheets that pooled there. She purred contentedly as Potter continued to stoke her fur.

"Thank you." Potter turned his smile to Draco.

"It's just a cat." Draco shrugged, feeling slightly uncomfortable and proud at the same time. "I'm not much of a pet person, anyway. I'd've killed the cat within a week."

"I meant for everything you've done in the past four months."

There had been a small sense of comfort in the small talk that had taken place. Potter shattered that peace with eleven words. His green eyes stared unwaveringly at Draco, who shifted uncomfortably under the weight of the raven's stare.

Pansy spoke up. "Well it's not like we could do much about that. Draco had orders -"

"Bullshit." Potter said fiercely. "You could have made life living _hell_ for me, so I would go to Dumbledore and tell him I didn't want to live with you anymore."

"Somehow I doubt we could have been much worse than those Muggles you put up with." Draco muttered, crossing his arms.

A dark shadow passed over Potter's face. "Yes. About that."

Draco paled, and cleared his throat nervously. Pansy and Blaise edged subtly towards him, and Pansy placed a comforting hand on his knee.

"Sirius came by last night," Potter continued, voice growing soft and dangerous. "He told me what happened. What you two did. It was an…_interesting_ conversation."

Draco opened his mouth to interrupt and explain himself but was silenced with a wave of Potter's hand.

"It was none of your business." he said harshly. "You had _no_ right to do that. What happened at the Dursley's was _my_ problem, and mine alone." He hesitated. "But…thank you." he added quietly. "I never would have had the courage to get any sort of revenge for myself. I didn't…find myself worth it, I suppose." He inclined his head towards Draco, indicating his thanks, and the end of speaking of the subject.

Draco stared back blankly. He had expected Potter to be furious. He hadn't expected Potter to condone it, or bloody well _thank_ him for it! God_damnit_, where was the sobbing boy that Draco cursed four months ago?

"Pansy, Blaise," Potter addressed the wide-eyed couple. "Do you think you could leave for a while? I'd like to talk to Draco alone."

Blaise nodded, and hauled a spluttering Pansy to her feet. "Talk to you later, Brat." He winked. Potter returned the wink with a grin instead. He waited for the door to close before starting to speak.

Unfortunately for him, Draco spoke first.

"She's proud of you." he rushed out.

"Who, Pansy?" Potter asked, bewildered.

"No." Draco swallowed. "Your aunt, she asked me to tell you that she's proud of you."

Potter was dumbfounded. He opened his mouth, only to close it with a snap. He frowned, and bit his lip.

_He's deciding if he should believe her_, Draco decided. _Well, I told him. It's not my problem if he doesn't want to believe it._

Potter decided to go another route. "We have a lot to figure out."

"And what, exactly, do we have to figure out?" Draco asked snappishly. _No, no, this is going wrong, why did I snap…_

Potter looked startled. "I…well, I enjoyed spending time with all of you." he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "And I appreciate you to get along with Hermione and Ron - I know they can get…" he paused, searching for the right word. "Well, self-righteous, I guess."

"Too right." Draco said under his breath. He glared at Potter, and settled back into his chair. "So?"

"Oh, for Merlin's sake, Draco," Potter crossed his arms as well, huffing irritably. Draco found himself flushing as Potter used his first name in his low baritone. "Would you drop the act? I remember _everything _from the past four months. I remember that you're afraid of escalators, and that you like New York City, and that you think Batman could kick Spiderman's arse (which I totally disagree with but we'll get to that later). I know that you almost always wear long sleeves, even to bed, because of your scar and your mark, and I know that Pansy's your best friend, not Blaise or Theodore. I remember the incident in in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom and I remember that you now need coffee in the mornings or you can't function. Do you honestly think you're going to fool me now with a glare and a few sharp words?"

Draco flushed. "Screw you." The words didn't hold the heat and hatred they once did. "Do _you_ honestly expect _me_ to think you actually give a damn about me not?"

Potter stared at him incredulously. "Are you _kidding_ me? Seriously - are you _blind_? I thought Slytherins were supposed to be _perceptive_!"

"What are you talking about?" Draco's heart pounded against his chest.

Potter ran a hand through his hair, turning a delicious shade of red. Draco felt a stir of longing and desire deep in his stomach. "Well…didn't you wonder why the Gryffindors defended you? At least, the older students tried to."

"They were defending you, not me -"

"Yes, they were." Potter ran his tongue over his lips. "Damnit, they did it _because_ of me."

"Obviously." Draco said dryly.

"No, _no_! You're not listening! Since the beginning of the year, has anyone screwed with you past a few verbal insults?"

Draco frowned, but shook his head. It was odd, once he thought about it. He had expected to be a permanent fixture in the Hospital Wing, but the year actually hadn't been that bad.

"That's because of the Gryffindors." Potter sounded as if he had thought Draco had already figured it out. "I told them to protect you and the other Slytherins. Granted, it was really only the older years actually listened to me, but we're a pretty formidable force."

"And why the _hell_ would you want to protect me? You hate me!" Draco protested. "And…and why would they _listen_? This doesn't make any sense!"

"It would if you factor in that I'm the King of Gryffindor and they pretty much have to listen to me." Potter snapped. "Did you think Slytherin was the only House with a hierarchy? You may be Prince, but I'm their damned _King_. And I didn't get that title just because I'm Harry Potter, I had to fucking _earn it._ If I demand something, which I do _not_ do often, they damn well do it! If I wanted to protect you and the Slytherins from the abuse I _knew_ was coming your way, then I must have a _damn_ good reason!"

"Then how did you convince them, huh? I could understand the rest of the Slytherins, but _me_? I'm the reason Dumbledore was nearly killed!" Draco was becoming frantic. "I'm the fucking Death Eater, why would they protect _me_?" _Gryffindors are sappy about love, that would be able to convince them if one of them loved me…Could he possibly…_

Potter stared at Draco with obvious disbelief. "I've been completely obsessed with you s

ince sixth year!" he blurted out. "You couldn't - you didn't _know_? I thought you were _smart_!" Potter flushed again, growing darker than it was earlier. "That's why they defended you. I…you're important to me."

Silence fell over the hospital wing. Draco was completely stunned. _How didn't I notice this_? he wondered vaguely. _He stalked me sixth year. He always knows everything that's going on with me. And how he looked at me in the Mansion… How did I _miss _this?_

Potter cleared his throat and looked away, face still burning with shame. "Would you at least _say_ something? I'd rather you yell at me to you saying absolutely nothing."

"You hated me." Draco found his voice.

"No. I hated Voldemort." Potter chuckled darkly. "Trust me. If I hated you, you'd know it by now."

He removed his tray from his bed and placed it on his nightstand. None of the food, save for half his croissant, had been touched.

"You need to eat." Draco said suddenly, remembering how much Harry had eaten at breakfast not two days ago. Where had the boy's appetite gone?

Potter shrugged. "Not hungry."

"Bullshit." Draco echoed Potter's earlier objection and narrowed his eyes. "Eat, or I'll make you."

"And how do you plan on doing that?" Potter looked skeptical.

Draco snarled. "The same way I got you to drink that potion when you broke your arm."

The steady blush on Potter's cheeks fled instantly, and his skepticism was replaced by horror. "You _wouldn't_."

"I've don't a lot of things these past four months that most would have said I _wouldn't_ do." Draco said sharply. He didn't like the way Potter looked at the food, as if it would make him sick just sitting there. Draco pointed to the food. "Eat."

Potter scowled. "Fine, _Mother_."

The word froze Draco's blood and nearly stopped his heart.

_Don't you want to be my friend?_

_I'll be the best friend ever._

_I like your smile. It's pretty!_

_I love you, Draco._

_G'night, Daddy._

Draco stood abruptly. Potter looked up from his goblet, obviously taking Draco's threat very seriously.

"Draco?" he asked, frowning at the green look on Draco's face.

"I…I have to go." Draco turned and fled, ignoring Potter's confused shouts that followed him out of the Hospital Wing.

Draco ran down stairs and halls, and eventually stopped in a small alcove by the Divination Tower. He dropped down, back to the wall behind him, grateful that the school was quiet for once.

"I can't do this." he whispered to no one. "Why is this happening to me? When he's a kid, it's all I can do to keep from drooling over the eighteen-year-old_ man_ that I'm falling for. But when he _is_ that man - I can only see him as a child who called me _Daddy_!"

Draco groaned and hit his head against the wall behind him, hard.

"Life fucking _sucks_." he snarled. "Why the _fucking hell_ can't anything ever be simple or end the way you want it to? What goddamned cunt seems to think that it's _funny_ to jack up my life?"

Hot tears burned Draco's eyes, but he refused to allow them to fall.

"No," he whispered fiercely. "_I will not cry_! I've wasted enough tears on him!" He wiped his eyes angrily, hating himself for being unable to control his emotions.

_I have to figure this out_. Draco thought bitterly. _Whether I like it or not, I need that son of a bitch_.

I am SO sorry that this took so long to update! I tried to post the chapter two days ago, but my computer was being really stupid and then fanfiction wouldn't save the changes - I was ready to throw my laptop out the window. X( But it is posted! And so the reviews begging for more shall resume.

Especially since there's only two chapters after this, and then an epilogue. ;) That's right - I finished writing Baby Mama Drama! I am so proud of myself because this is the first time I've ever finished a fanficiton longer than two or three chapters. And it's mostly in thanks to all of the people who review and add the story/myself to their favorites/alerts. Thank you all so much! It really means a lot to me. =)

I will try to post the rest of the fic by the end of next week (I've got a busy weekend ahead of me, 50% of which I won't have internet), so stay tuned! You've all hung in for so long, it's almost over! Review and maybe I'll post another chapter later tonight. ;)

I'm compelled to explain the chapter title - almost every single cheesy movie/book/TV show has some sort of life-changing, epic Hospital Scene. So this one was mine! =D Lemme ask, anyone else willing to take Harry up on his offer to run away? *raises hand*

**EDIT**: There was a MAJOR problem with this chapter - Draco had said "I'm the reason Dumbledore's dead!" in his rant to Harry. I have changed this to what it's _supposed_ to be - "I'm the reason Dumbledore was nearly killed!" Hopefully that's better for everyone now!


	20. Harry's Week

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWF - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Twenty**

**_Harry's Week_**

_Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other._

Ed Howe

* * *

Harry was bloody exhausted. It was only two days - two days! - since he'd gone back to being eighteen, and already he found himself missing Draco. Okay, so maybe that was a bit of a lie.

He had started missing Draco since the damn blonde walked out of Dumbledore's office.

Don't get him wrong, he was _thrilled_ to be his regular self again. He was relieved to no longer need help reaching the top shelf, or to have to be continuously be looking _up_ at everybody. He liked not having to need help with some of the taller stools and chairs in classes and rooms. And no matter how much he liked Spiderman, he was very happy to no longer want to wear the bug-man on kid-sized tightie-whities.

But if you did happen to find them in his size, you might have to let him know about that because there is a very minute, microscopic chance that he might interested.

He loved being able to talk to Hermione and Ron and Neville and Ginny without feeling any sort of resentment towards any of them. Hermione and Ron had been slightly put out to find out that it had been Neville who helped Harry out of Gryffindor Tower, but were impressed that Harry had been able to find his way around the castle, even with the aid of a map, at the age of seven. Harry wasn't sure if he should be proud of the accomplishment, or insulted that they thought so little of him.

Harry was relieved to find out that Hermione and Ron were still unaware of how bad it had been at the Dursley's. He had received an hour lecture from Sirius and Remus when they came to visit him the first day in the Hospital Wing. Both were beyond infuriated that Harry hadn't seen fit to tell them what went on at his aunts.

"I could handle it!" Harry had protested.

"The way you did your fourth year?" Anything was better than the disappointment in Remus' voice. Harry winced, and looked away. "God_damnit_, Harry! Why must you be a fucking martyr all the time? For once in your life, let someone take care of you!"

"You don't need to be the hero, Harry." Sirius had said quietly. He was shaking, and when Harry dared a glance, the man had glassy eyes that seemed very likely to spill over. "Don't you trust us?"

"Of course I do!" Harry was insulted. How could they think that he didn't trust them?

"Then how could you possibly keep this a secret?" Sirius snarled. "Those …_people_ - they abused you! We would have gotten you out of there!"

"You don't understand!" Harry shouted back, hands fisting in the sheets of his bed.

"And what do we not understand?" For the first time in his life, Harry thought Remus wanted to hit him.

"They…" Harry looked down at his hands at a scar on his right wrist, tracing it absentmindedly. He had gotten it when he was washing windows when he was ten. The window had shattered when Dudley threw a ball through it, and a shard of glass sliced Harry's wrist. His aunt came up to find out the cause of the noise, and when she saw Harry struggling to keep the blood from draining from his wrist, she had reacted the same way she had when Dudley had cut open his knee on his bike. She even called Harry by his name, and told him that if he died she'd never forgive him because he was all she had left to remember her sister. "They are my family." he said quietly.

Remus's face softened. "Harry -"

"Don't 'Harry' me." Harry ground out. "I know I should have told you, I know I should have gotten help. But I didn't because of the same reason that it took Sirius until he was sixteen to leave home - they are my family."

Sirius groaned and buried his face in his hands. "Fine," he said, voice muffled by his hands. "But from now on, I want you to tell us everything."

"And we mean _everything_." Remus said sharply. "No half-truths, no leaving things out."

Harry had reluctantly agreed, and had spent the rest of the night telling his two parent figures everything that had happened to him since he had been left on his aunt and uncle's front porch step. When he tried to tone down some of the more unpleasant experiences, Remus would give him a look that made Harry feel as if he were the smallest being on the face of the earth, and the truth would come out, no matter how reluctantly. Needless to say, it was not a very pleasant night.

After being released from the Hospital Wing, Harry had met with Pansy and Blaise twice more. The three had decided to remain on the best of terms as possible. The Slytherins had grown fond of Gryffindors in general after being stuck helping Draco for four months, and had insisted that Harry would have been better off in Slytherin. Harry was also pleased to discover that the friendship the two had formed with Ron and Hermione wasn't fake, and the four got along rather well. Well…As well as two Gryffindors and two Slytherins could after being enemies for over seven years. However, the subject of a certain blonde was taboo. Harry had tried to convince Pansy and Blaise to help him talk to the boy, but both were stubbornly silent about it.

"Look, Brat," Blaise finally said tiredly. "Oddly enough, we like you. _But_. We like Draco a _lot_ more, and we've been his mates for a _lot_ longer."

"I'm sorry, Potter." Pansy shrugged. "You'd do the same for Granger or a Weasley and you know it, so don't you give me any self-righteous crap."

Unfortunately, she was right, and Harry _did_ know it. If Draco didn't want to see Harry, the raven couldn't ask the boy's best friends to betray his trust.

So he spent many an hour searching the castle for the blonde prince of his dreams. He used the map, the cloak, _everything_. It was hard for people to evade Harry once he set his mind on …_surveying_ them. Draco knew that, he had been the object of Harry's fixation for the entire Sixth Year. It seemed that Draco had figured out how to evade Harry, which was rather difficult to do. He didn't seem to move from the dungeons, but Harry knew that couldn't have been possible. He _had_ to eat, didn't he? Harry did _everything_ that he could to draw the blonde snake from his den, everything that he, Hermione and Ron could think of. The only thing the young Potter didn't do was take a trip down to the Slytherin dungeons. That was Draco's home, and Harry wasn't about to invade his safe place.

"Don't you think you can get over him, mate?" Seamus had asked late one night. "I mean, it's _Malfoy_. I can't imagine it'd be that difficult."

"We went over this when I told you all about this." Harry groaned, falling backward onto his bed. He pulled his pillow over his face. "If I could get rid of these feelings, don't you think I would? It'd be a hell of a lot easier."

"This sucks, mate." Dean said. The five boys all sat on their own beds, conversing, as they often did when one of them needed either advice or an intervention. That night was a mix of both. "I mean, he was pretty nice to you when he was your babysitter. And you were stuck to him like Spell-o-tape. Maybe he does like you like you like him." The sentence seemed to confuse him a bit, but he seemed to decide that it was satisfactory.

"Maybe you just need to give him some time." Neville suggested. "I mean, it's gotta be weird for him. And Malfoy's acted odd since the end of the war."

"We all have, Neville." Harry said, glaring at him ineffectively from under his pillow.

"Harry," Ron paused. "Maybe…maybe it's a sign. You know? That it's…not meant to be or whatever?"

"I won't accept that." Harry mumbled, pressing the pillow over his face. Maybe if he pressed hard enough, he'd pass out, get taken to the Hospital Wing, and then maybe Draco would come and visit him…

"Well, why the hell not?"

Harry sat up abruptly, his green eyes glowing brightly with a passion that Ron hadn't seen since Harry vowed to destroy Voldemort. "Would you?"

"Duh, of course! I mean, it's bloody _Malfoy _-"

"If it was Hermione, would you?" Ron blinked in surprise.

"Well, that's different."

"No, it's not. Don't you remember what I was like after I cursed him?"

The boys were silent. Of course they remembered. Harry came into the dorms completely drenched in blood, sat on his bed, and then started to cry like a little kid. All four had been shocked, and more than a little uncomfortable. Ron had finally gone over to his best friend and pulled him into an awkward, one-armed hug. Shockingly, instead of pulling himself together, Harry had grasped Ron's shirt as if it were his lifeline and continued to sob. Over and over again, he repeated,

"I've killed him! Oh god, oh _god_, I've _killed_ him!"

Seamus and Dean had decided to go to the common room, and when they came back they had the story that was circulating. After a half an hour of coaxing, they managed to get the full story from Harry. Coincidentally, or maybe not so coincidentally, this was when Harry accidentally confessed his feelings for the blonde Slytherin prince. For the next hour or so, he had been nearly inconsolable. Ron had never seen his friend so distraught and utterly heartbroken. It was nerve wracking.

It had been over a week before Harry had stopped crying himself to sleep. Neville, Ron, Dean, and Seamus had all agreed that they would never breathe a word of Harry's breakdown to anyone. Each boy had been there for Harry, and there was the wordless agreement that they would support him with whatever he needed, the same way he would for them.

"'Course we remember." Seamus said quietly. "How could we bleeding _forget_?"

"So how could any of you think that what I feel for him is weaker than what Ron feels for Hermione?" Harry closed his eyes and held his head in his hands. "It's unfair, but I'm in love with him." His voice broke, betraying his otherwise calm façade. "And he doesn't want anything to do with me."

Ron had known that this entire Incident wasn't going to end well. He just hadn't anticipated Harry's heart being broken in the process.

* * *

By the fourth day after his release from the infirmary, only two days before graduation, Harry had completely given up on trying to speak with Draco. So when he received a school owl bearing a message from the blonde, to say he was quite thrilled would be putting it mildly.

_Room of Requirement. 8:30 P.M._

No names, no dates, and yet Harry knew exactly who it was from. He sat on pins and needles all day, and just couldn't calm down. Everyone noticed, and it irritated some more than others.

"Mate, you're driving me crazy!" Ron huffed irritably as Harry paced restlessly in the common room. "You've been fidgeting all day! Can't you sit down, you loon?"

"What time is it?" Harry asked Hermione, ignoring the redhead completely. Ron muttered something insulting under his breath, and dove to duck a kick from Harry that let him know the remark had not gone unnoticed.

"Two minutes and thirty-six seconds later than the last time you asked me." Hermione replied matter-of-factly, without looking up from her book. "It's 7:38, hun."

Harry groaned, and collapsed onto a couch. "I want to go _now_."

"You whine more now than you did when you were little." Hermione remarked. Eris mewled her agreement from Hermione's lap. Crookshanks was no where to be found, he had taken to disappearing whenever Eris was around.

"Bite me." Harry ran a hand nervously over his hair, vainly trying to flatten it.

Ron decided to attempt to distract Harry. "Alright, mate, get up. I'm going to beat your arse at chess a few times, then you can be on your way."

* * *

If anyone has any information on those Spider-man adult-sized tightie-whities, please feel free to share. :D That would make my day.

So, updated as promise! Only one more chapter, then the epilogue, and then it's over! I know this chapter is short, but the next one is rather long, so it's made up. XD

Read and review! I shall try to have the next chapter up either tonight or tomorrow, but I make no promises. I've got a lot going on this week. If the chapter isn't up by the end of the week, it will be up, WITH the epilogue, next week. So hold on! It's almost over, and it's been one hell of a ride, no?


	21. Not Even Close To Perfect

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWF - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

**Baby Mama Drama: Chapter Twenty-One**

_**Not Even Close To Perfect**_

_A woman can learn a lot from holding a new baby. It is life beginning again—sweet possibilities! No problem in the world is big enough to be remembered._

_Susan McOmber_

Forty-five minutes later, Harry was on his way to the Room. He ran through the halls, heart thudding with each step he took.

_What if I get there before him_? he worried. _How am I supposed to know what room he wants? Should there be a bed? Am I going to need Madame Pomfrey? Crap I'm gonna get my arse kicked, I know I am. Oh shit oh shit oh shit what am I going to do?_

Fortunately, when Harry reached the seventh floor corridor, a heavy wooden door was already set in the stone wall. Harry hesitated when he reached it. Should he knock?

Shaking his head at how stupid he sounded, he pushed the door open and stepped inside. The door shut automatically behind him. Looking around, Harry saw that Draco had chosen a room that looked a lot like the Slytherin common room. A couch and a few chairs sat in a semi-circle around a fire that was burning out. The colour scheme was cool, close to cold, yet oddly enough, Harry felt at home.

"I almost didn't expect you to show."

Harry's eyes snapped to where Draco sat, curled on the couch. The blonde stared down at his hands, which were gripping a steaming mug (of what Harry guessed to be coffee) rather tightly. The poor blonde had gotten addicted after Sirius introduced the caffeinated beverage to him.

It was like a breath of fresh air, seeing Draco again. Harry greedily took in his blonde hair (that was out of place), his silvery eyes (that were slightly red), his long, pale fingers (that were shaking). Harry drank in the lanky limbs folded elegantly against his chest, the plump red lips that were worried between white teeth, the rather casual way the man was dressed in only grey trousers and a black, long-sleeved button-up, like a parched man drinking his first glass of water in a week.

"I mean," Draco continued, still staring at his coffee mug. "I was a complete arse all week. I don't think I'd've shown, if it was me."

Harry shrugged, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "I understand. I've kinda grown used to your mood swings, so it wasn't too horrible. And I'm used to being ignored, especially after fifth year."

A small, yet slightly sarcastic, smile graced Draco's lips. "Yes, I suppose you." he motioned to the couch he sat on, indicating the empty seat next to him. "Well, come on, then, sit down. We've a lot to talk about, if Blaise and Pansy's incessant bitching is anything to go by."

Harry sat Indian-style, facing Draco from his end of the couch with his back resting against the armrest. "We don't have to if you don't want to." he said cautiously. "If you're not comfortable, I mean, I can wait -"

"No, no," Draco let out a deep sigh. "I need this, whether I like it or not."

There was a moment of silence that wasn't quite awkward, but most defiantly wasn't comfortable. Harry decided to break it.

"I'm sorry I made you run out of the Hospital Wing." He winced as the words came from his mouth. "I just…Pomfrey had me on pain killers and they really mess me up most of the time, especially with talking. I start babbling and saying a lot of stuff I don't mean to say. I didn't mean to freak you out, I promise. "

Draco waved a hand impatiently. "That's not why I ran." He flushed sweetly. "I…honestly, I was quite…_pleased_ when you said that."

Harry frowned, though his insides did a little dance and he felt a little more relaxed. "Then why did you run?"

Draco sighed again, keeping his gaze firmly away from Harry's. "Because…well, it…it sounds stupid."

"I was seven for four months. I'm sure I did and said some pretty stupid things." Harry said lightly. "Especially by your standards. I know I was a weird kid."

"Yes, you did. And you were." Draco took a deep breath. "I…I was…surprised. And I _was_ pleased. I don't think I would have run, but you…You called me 'Mother'. And I know you were being sarcastic, but…" he paused. "Do you remember when you were sick? You were pretty dazed."

"Vaguely." Harry frowned. "Why?"

"Do you remember what you called me?"

"Uh…" Harry bit his lip, and grinned sort of sheepishly. "Draco?"

"You called me Daddy." Draco said quietly, his voice hitching ever so slightly. "Do you understand that? What that meant to me? _You called me Daddy_."

Harry was stricken. He had? No, he hadn't! He wouldn't have - he'd never called _anyone_, not even Remus or Sirius -

Oh shit. He had.

"And then you called me _Mother_ and all I could think about was a little boy who would only hold _my_ hand because everyone else wasn't good enough and who slept in my bed every night because thunderstorms scared him and who called me Daddy when he was sick." Draco took a breath of air and continued. "And it felt so wrong to be _…_to _want_ that boy, even if he was older."

Harry contemplated this for a few moments and decided that he could understand this. He told Draco so, and watched as the blonde visibly relaxed.

"But," he continued gently. "I'm not seven anymore."

"I know." Draco frowned. "But you can understand?"

"I suppose, but can't you let it go? I mean, even if I had been seven, I'm older now. What if the age difference was eleven years between us?" Harry pressed. "Would it really matter that much to you?"

"It wasn't the age difference." Draco said snappishly. "It was the _relationship_ we had that was creeping me out!"

"And why did it matter what our relationship was?"

"And what if it was you lusting after Teddy when he's eighteen?" Draco retorted. "It won't be the age that freaks you out, it'll be the fact that he's your godson!"

"But it's different," Harry protested. "He's my _godson_. I was just a kid you had to look after!"

"What the fucking hell do you think I thought of you as for the past couple of months?" Draco let out a bitter laugh. "It _feels_ like I've lost a child." He looked down at his mug, snarling as his eyes began to burn. He felt so pathetic, losing control of his emotions and the situation the way he was. "_I_ feel lost." he admitted quietly.

He finally looked up to see Harry, only to find the raven mere inches away from him. _When the hell did he get this bloody sneaky…?_

Harry lifted his hand and tucked a few strands of hair behind Draco's ear. "Then let me find you." he whispered, before gently pressing his lips to Draco's.

Draco froze, heart pounding. His mind raced from image to image of a small boy who looked at him like he was the center of the universe. He struggled at first, nearly succeeding in pulling away, before Harry's hands rested themselves on his biceps. Draco jumped at the contact, almost surprised to find them the large hands of a man instead of the small hands of a child.

_Close your eyes_. Draco wasn't sure where the little voice in his head was born, but he decided to listen to it. He shut his eyes tightly, and allowed his sense to take over.

He felt strong hands holding him as if he were made of glass threads that would shatter in an instant. He felt soft lips moving gently against his own, and he felt soft hair brushing just barely over the top of his nose. He felt his heart stuttering almost painfully against his chest, and the blood that flowed toward his groin.

His mind was still saying that this was a little kid, but his body soon overruled this cry. No little kid could possibly know how to touch him like that, could possibly make Draco react like this. He wanted more - more of the hands that caressed his arms, more of the mouth that was just a little more talented than he expected. But just as he began to respond and to truly lose himself in the single sense of touch, that delicious mouth left, leaving Draco breathless. He gave an involuntary whimper.

"Still think I'm seven?" Harry stayed close enough that Draco could feel his breath playing over his lips.

"No," Draco breathed back. He was still off in a dream world, not really comprehending everything that was going on around him. _Come back…_

"I'm sure glad you didn't spill that coffee." Draco vaguely heard Harry say. "That would have _hurt_."

Glancing down, Draco saw that he was still holding his mug, though loosely. Any more relaxation in his grip and Harry would have gotten a lapful (and a crotch-full) of rather hot coffee.

Harry tugged the coffee out of Draco's hand, watching it warily as the liquid came sloshing around the rim of the cup. "I'll just take that," he said, carefully setting the coffee on the floor.

Draco couldn't help it, he burst into laughter. Harry fucking Potter had just given him the snog of his life, and he was only worried about spilling hot coffee on his precious bits.

"So glad you find that amusing." Harry grumbled good-naturedly.

"Oh, shut up, would you?" Draco said cheerfully, before latching onto Harry's lips again. His arms wound around Harry's neck, pulling him as close as possible. Harry responded eagerly, his tongue peeking out to shyly trace Draco's lips. Draco opened his mouth, and granted Harry the entrance he sought. He groaned at the skill of Harry's tongue as it mapped out every contour of his mouth.

Harry's hands slipped from Draco's arms to his waist, and Draco found himself pulled into the lap of a very excited Savior. Draco buried his hands in Harry's hair, and retaliated with his own tongue, stoking Harry's slowly and thoroughly. Harry moaned needily, and ground his hips up every so slightly. Draco gasped at the feelings of their trouser-covered erections brushing against each other. He wanted more.

He _needed_ more.

Apparently Harry felt the same, because his hands fumbled with the buttons on Draco's shirt. Draco returned the favor, and soon both their shirts lay on the floor next to the forgotten coffee. The blonde even forgot about his Sectumsempra scar in his haste to get more skin-on-skin contact. Draco found himself pressed tighter to Harry's front. The blonde's hands dropped from the raven's locks to his broad shoulders. His fingertips brushed against a knot just below Harry's left shoulder. Harry hissed and arched his back, tearing his mouth away from Draco's. Draco nearly whined before he realized what he had done.

"Oh _shit_ - I'm sorry!"

Harry grimaced, but tried to smile. "It's…I'm…well, they're sore. It's alright, you couldn't have known that."

"Even though it's been nearly a week?" Draco narrowed his eyes, thoughts formulating in his head. "That's odd. You had a seizure, didn't you?"

"My back was stretched rather quickly." Harry said defensively. He sounded…angry? Why was he angry with Draco? "It's not unbelievable."

"You didn't answer my question."

"I shouldn't have to!" Harry glared at Draco, who was still nestled snugly on his lap. "It's none of your business! Who - who are _you_ to demand that information?"

Draco snarled, and shoved Harry back against the back of the couch. Harry gave a noise of pain that sounded somewhere between a groan and a scream.

"Don't you _dare_," the Slytherin hissed, his well-kissed lips pulled back into a vicious sneer. "Don't you _dare_ tell me I have no right, you fucking _martyr_."

Harry glared at him silently in a mix of loathing, pain, lust, and helplessness. Draco had no idea that Harry had already been called a martyr, and was getting rather sick of it. Draco had also never known such a look could be accomplished, but Harry pulled it off wonderfully. "You don't understand," he ground out hoarsely. "You don't have -"

"A scar?" Draco seethed. He sat back and forced Harry to look at the silver mark that crossed his chest, feeling highly self-conscious as he did so. He felt a certain type of grim satisfaction as regret and horror flickered into the mix of emotions on Harry's face.

"It's…" Harry closed his eyes, screwing them shut tightly. He breathed heavily for a few moments, trying to reign in his discomfort. "It's not the same."

"And how the hell is it not the same? You nearly killed me, or do you not remember that?" Of course he remembered. Why the hell wouldn't he? Draco scolded himself for being such an arse for bringing it up, but he held firm to his plan. He had to get Harry to trust him with everything, or he could never be with the bastard.

Harry gave him a look of loathing that would have made Lucius Malfoy proud. "I haven't forgotten that. I haven't forgotten a _damn thing about that day_." He bared his teeth in either anger or pain, Draco couldn't tell. Probably both. "The difference is that your scar was given to you in a moment of fury, panic, and stupidity by a boy who didn't even know what the spell _did_. You were healed immediately, and you had a swarm of Slytherins to swoon over you while you recovered. I was _five_. The man who did this to me was supposed to be someone who I could go to for protection. He didn't take me to the hospital. My uncle stitched me up, and now the pain is so bad at times that I can't even scream." He paused, face red and breathing heavily. As he continued, Draco heard a note of hysteria that grew louder and more pronounced. "Yours wasn't even supposed to scar - I don't know why it did. Snape said it wouldn't. Mine were left so I would always remember my place, would always remember that _I wasn't their family._"

He raised his hand and just barely brushed his fingers over the top of Draco's scar the way Draco had done to him. "That doesn't hurt, does it?" Draco shook his head, causing Harry to smile ruefully. "Good," he whispered. "I couldn't've stood it if I did to you what he did to me."

"You can't say his name, can you?" Draco realized that whenever Harry had spoken of his uncle (which wasn't often, except to say that he would disapprove of something), he had said 'my uncle'. He had only ever used the fat prick's name once or twice, and flinched whenever it was spoken. Harry winced now, and turned away, dropping his hand from Draco's chest. He didn't answer, which was all the answer Draco needed.

For whatever reason, this angered Draco more than anything. Here was a boy who had laughed in the face of the Dark Lord, who had taunted him about his failures and who could have shouted the wizard's name from the rooftops and mocked all those who flinched - fallen under the same curse the rest of the world had for He Who Must Not -

That was it! Draco knew what he had to do.

"You have to say his name." he said simply, crossing his arms. He was trying very hard not to pay attention to the erection pressed against his own, which had not gone away.

And yes, this was very much important enough to note. Just saying.

"What?"

"You still fear him, even though now he's good as dead. He still has a hold over you." Draco nearly rolled his eyes, but caught himself, before quoting an old coot who probably could have saved Draco. "Doesn't the fear of the name only increase fear of the thing itself?"

"Says the man who still says 'Dark Lord'." The was no malice behind Harry's words, only a deadpanned monotone. "And I don't fear him."

Draco knew that this would be Harry's defense, and he had braced himself beforehand for the inevitable. He took a deep breath and said the one word he had never said before in his entire life.

"V-Vol…Voldemort."

The word felt like poison on his tongue and he immediately thought he was going to be sick. But it was worth it to see the look of awed shock on Harry's face. Draco lifted his chin haughtily and gave his best challenging glare, the one that had once made Harry jump on a broom for the first time in his life and chase after him for the stupid glass ball of a classmate at the risk of expulsion from the only place that had ever accepted him.

Harry cleared his throat dramatically. "Vernon. Vernon Dursley." He scoffed. "I'm not afraid of a name, and I'm not afraid of him anymore. I'd just rather not make him a part of my life. He's gone. I'm never seeing the son of a bitch again, so what's the point in saying his name?"

"You just rationalized not saying a certain Dark wizard's name." Draco pointed out. Inside, he was giddy as a first year. It felt odd to be proud of someone for saying a name, but it was a step Draco was happy to see Harry take. Maybe this was how Harry felt every time a Gryffindor said the Dark Lord's name.

Harry snorted inelegantly. "Wizards are pussies." he declared suddenly. "No matter how horrible a Muggle criminal is, we call him by his name."

"Somehow I doubt any Muggle has ever been as terrible as …Vol…Voldemort." Draco was proud of himself this time. He'd said the Dark Lord's name _twice_, in as many minutes! It was an accomplishment for anyone without a hero complex. Take _that_, stupid Gryffindors!

"Remind me to teach you about a man named Adolf Hitler." Harry muttered under his breath.

"Who?"

Harry stared him incredulously. "Never mind." he sighed. "I …look, I'm sorry I was such an arse. I don't like talking about my …my _infirmary_. I've never told anyone about them before, ever. It's disconcerting, and I'm not used to it yet."

"Yes, I can understand that." Draco said, almost impatiently. "But _you_ need to understand that I've been the person you've told everything to for the last four months. Much as it pains me to admit it, you're rather important to me, and I was under the impression that I was important to you as well. Please correct me if I'm wrong."

"You're not wrong." Harry said quietly. His hands, which lay rather awkwardly at his sides, twitched as if wanting to gather Draco in his arms again. Draco may had let him, had he tried.

"Do you want me?" Draco demanded suddenly.

Harry blinked in surprise. "Wha - yes, I thought that was obvious."

"Do you want more than just my body?" This was essential. Harry had claimed to be obsessed with Draco for near two years, but obsession didn't have to have a single thing to do with love, nor did lust.

Harry flushed a red that Draco had never seen on a boy before. He nodded curtly, obviously unable to speak at this point. Draco felt a thrill of satisfaction - _he really wants me, maybe this will be forever_ - before pressing on.

"Do you want to see me happy?"

"What does that even have to _do_ with this?" Harry burst out, flushing redder and darker, and growing more horrified.

"Just answer the damn question!"

"But - I…_yes_, isn't that kind of what I've been _saying_?" Draco decided it would be his life's mission to make Harry turn that shade of red every day. It was very flattering, and a lot of fun.

"Having you tell me everything would make me happy. Knowing things Granger and Weasley don't makes me happy. Knowing that you won't hide anything from me or try to be some saintly fucking martyr - _that will make me happy_." Draco put his hands on Harry's shoulders, staring him in the eye. He had never realized that they had a ring of black around the very edge of the green. It was the oddest thing Draco had ever seen, but he loved it anyway.

Harry looked as if he were going through a very serious internal conflict. His breaths came harder and faster, and he look almost ready to cry. Finally, he spoke.

"I'm not used to having someone try to save me." The look on his face was filled with wonder and adoration. It was the same look a certain seven-year-old had given him many rimes. This time, though, a more adult emotion leaked its way through. The pure love that come through shocked Draco to the core, especially when he found that he really did feel the same.

"Well don't get used to it. I'm no hero." Draco said. Harry gave Draco a smile that melted his heart.

"I don't need a hero." Harry wound his arms around Draco's waist again, pulling the Slytherin closer until their chests were pressed together once again. "I need someone to call me out on my bullshit and hypocrisy, because I _know_ I get hypocritical. I need someone who won't be afraid to insult me and tell me when I'm being a whining fucking _martyr_. I need an … _antihero_."

"Isn't that a villain?" Draco placed his arms around Harry's neck.

The smile on Harry's lips took on a wicked edge. "Oh, no, anti-heroes are much hotter."

Draco smirked. "Aren't you the charmer?"

"Glad you think so." Harry didn't give Draco a chance to reply. He sealed his lips over the blonde's, pouring his aggression and emotion into the kiss. Draco opened his mouth immediately, and his tongue rushed out to meet Harry's.

The fear of the coffee spilling, the fight over scars and names - it wasn't exactly what Draco had pictured. Not even close. It went against every last thing that his parents had taught him that should be in a relationship. That didn't make it any less perfect.

Draco felt Harry's hands slowly move from his waist down to his hips, and he nearly moaned when said hands grasped at his arse.

"_Mine_." Harry growled into Draco's lips. Draco laughed, remembering a time when a young boy had sounded just the same when talking about his favorite book. Draco pressed forward, eager to know even more about a certain Harry James Potter.

_I guess some things never change_. He thought happily as he was enthusiastically introduced to a small sensitive spot just under Harry's chin. _I can live with that._

I'm afraid I'm going to have to say this: There shall be no sex in this story. :O I just couldn't fit it in to any of the chapters, it wouldn't flow right. I'm sorry! This is about as heated as it gets. HOWEVER! I promise that my next story shall have a _very_ heated scene, if you care to read. ;)

Epilogue, then the end! Anyone else rather nervous? I'm so excited and sad that it's almost over. :( So read and review, and I won't make you wait any longer!

Da na na na na na na na PLOT FUN 3


	22. AllGoodThingsComeToAnEnd,OnlyToBeginAgai

**Disclaimer**: Are Harry and Draco making out in the corridors after Potions? Is Luna right about Nargles? Is Lupin still alive? Did Fred never die? No? Then do you think I own Harry Potter?

**Summary:** Draco and Potter once again find themselves fighting. But what happens when Draco's spell goes wrong, and he has to take care of an indisposed Potter?

**WARNINGS**: This is PWF - an 8th year at Hogwarts. I HAVE NAMED THIS PEOPLES MIRACULOUSLY ALIVE: Lupin, Sirius, Dumbledore and Snape. I don't know how they all stayed alive, but they didn't die in this fic. ALSO! This shall be an eventual DracoXHarry. I think this is going to be a pretty long story and I don't know how long it will take me to finish, but I know it'll be fun to write and hopefully fun to read! And yes, damnit, I did get the title from the movie with Tina Fey. :P

* * *

**Baby Mama Drama: Epilogue**

_**All Good Things Come To An End, Only To Begin Again**_

_Inside every adult is a young child wondering what the hell happened._

_~ Anonymous_

* * *

"Goddamnit, Harry, get your cat out of my trunk!" Ron roared, throwing a pillow at the small cat.

"Oi! Be nice to her!" Harry scooped Eris up into the safety of his arms. She yowled at Ron, and snuggled happily into the crook of Harry's arms. "You're not a cat person, are you? First Crookshanks, who was only trying to _save_ us, and now my poor defenseless kitten! You're horrible! What have cats ever done to you?"

Ron scowled at the cat. "She's evil."

"No, she's chaos." Harry said succinctly, stroking Eris's soft fur.

Ron shook his head as he tried to fit the last of his robes into his trunk. "You never used to be this sarcastic. The Ferret's rubbing off on you, mate." he warned.

"Don't you mean rubbing me off?"

Hermione, who had just walked into the boy's dormitories, rolled her eyes as Ron yelped and tried to cover his ears too late. "Way to be mature, Harry."

"He started it." Harry looked around the room. Seamus, Dean and Neville had already packed and left. They were busy saying good-bye to everyone down in the common room. "I think I'm done. I haven't left anything that I care about, anyway."

"Can you believe it?" Hermione said almost dreamily. "We've finally graduated! We're done." She smiled, giggling like a little girl. "I can't believe we actually made it."

Ron nodded in agreement. "Who'd have thought, huh? I didn't think I'd be graduating. At least not with you two."

"I think this year was our most life-changing, including Horcrux hunting." Harry said, shaking his head as he laughed. "If anyone had told me that this is how our eighth year would end, I think I'd've hit them rather hard."

"Same." Ron finally managed to close his overstuffed trunk. "HAH!" He pumped his fist in the air victoriously.

"We don't want to miss the train," Hermione said, grabbing Ron's forgotten sweater from off his bed. "Let's go, shall we?"

"You know, it's odd." Harry deposited a startled Eris on top of his trunk and slung an arm around either of his best friends. "We're about to really begin our lives, yet I don't think I've ever been calmer before."

Ron grinned. "I know the feeling, mate. After Basilisks and Dementors and Dark Lords and Ferret babysitters, becoming a real adult doesn't seem as scary as it did when I was a mere first year."

"A mere first year? That wasn't even ten years ago, Ron. But you're right, this seems easy." Hermione laughed, and hugged the two men tightly. "Watch us find a way to make this difficult."

"None of us can live without the challenge." Harry declared. "But whatever we go through -"

"We go through together." Ron and Hermione finished the oath the three had taken several years before. Grinning like, and ecstatic as, little kids, the Golden Trio talked excitedly about what their lives would be like, ready to start from a new beginning.

* * *

"Sonofabitch - BLAISE!" Draco shouted, scaring a third-year out of her wits. "Where the fuck is my book, you bloody wanker?"

"Why would I know?" Blaise yelled back from the top of the stairs in a sing-song voice. Bastard. He knew where the book was.

"Because you're a no-good, sneaky little thief who steals my shit _every fucking year_ because you think it's funny to watch me run around like a loon trying to find it!" Draco climbed the stairs angrily, snapping cruelly at anyone who tried to speak to him. "Goddamnit, Zabini, it's not even _mine_!"

"Aww, did Draco steal his boyfriend's book?" Pansy giggled as she came out of her room, a few final things gathered in her arms.

"No, it's one of Granger's. King, something King, and the title is something about a dragon, I don't know! It's a Muggle book and rather good and _your_ stupid boyfriend stole it! She's going to bloody _murder_ me if I don't have it for her!" Draco snarled. "ZABINI!"

"Alright, alright, stop your bitching!" Blaise came down the stairs, his trunk levitating behind him. He held the small book in his hands. "If I had known it was Granger's, I wouldn't have taken it. I know how she gets, and I doubt she'd let me live when you told her I took it!"

"Fucker." Draco snatched the book from him. "Where's the bookmark?"

"Bookmark."

"It was a worn-out braid of leather. Where is it?" Draco began to panic.

"Is it that big of a deal?" Blaise rolled his eyes. "Just make her a new one."

"I can't just _make her a new one_! She'd know!" Draco nearly tore his hair out. "You son of a bitch - _you've killed me_!"

"You're overreacting -"

"I most certainly am not!" Draco whipped out his wand (A/N: I know where your minds just went - STAY OUT OF THE GUTTER, PEOPLE!) and pressed it to Blaise's throat. Pansy sniggered. "You are going to find that braid! I don't care if you miss the train and are here until September - you are going to fucking _find. It._"

"And if I don't?" Blaise challenged.

Draco snarled. "Then I'll let _you_ tell Granger that _you_ lost her bookmark. The bookmark she's had since she was eight, the one her _now dead_ grandmother made for her. _You_ can tell her that little tidbit."

Blaise paled and held up his hands in surrender. "Alright, _alright_! I'm going!"

"Find it!" Draco shouted to Blaise's back as he backtracked his steps back up the stairs.

"You're very touchy today." Pansy observed dryly. "This wouldn't have anything to do with Potter, would it?"

"Absolutely not. Why would moving in with my boyfriend of three days and his godfather stress me out?" Draco asked sarcastically, with a roll of his eyes.

Pansy rolled her eyes in turn, exasperated. "You're being stupid."

"I've earned it."

"I never said you didn't." Pansy looked down at the mass of objects in her arms. She pulled out a length of leather about seven inches long, with a bright blue bead tied to the end. "This wouldn't happen to be the bookmark, would it?"

Draco nodded. "Yes, it is."

"You left it in my room two nights ago."

Draco smirked wickedly. "I know. You know," he said conversationally as Pansy let out a bark of laughter. "Maybe now he'll learn not to steal my stuff."

* * *

The train ride home was like nothing either boy had ever experienced. Crammed into one small compartment were three ex-Slytherins, three ex-Gryffindors, four owls, two cats and six trunks. Ginny had joined the group at one point, causing a rather awkward atmosphere. The entire compartment was grateful when Neville stuck his head in and offered Ginny a seat with him and Luna.

Now they sat rather comfortable. Pansy sat on Blaise's lap, her back against the window and her feet on Draco's lap. Draco sat next to them, with Harry leaning against his legs at his feet. Ron lay stretched across the opposing bench, his head on Hermione's lap. Crookshanks gave Ron the Evil Eye from under Draco's bench, and Eris lay curled in a tiny white ball on Harry's chest. Pigwidgeon and the other owls hooted occasionally from the racks above the teens' heads.

"I won't believe it." Pansy scoffed. "Professor Lupin? It would never happen."

"Come it off! You can't see the chemistry?" Harry asked.

"No, actually, I can't. There's no more chemistry between those two than there is between you and Weasley."

"Oi!" Ron said indignantly, mock-glaring at Harry. "I thought we had an agreement! What happens in the Quidditch locker rooms, _stays in the Quidditch locker rooms_!"

Harry and Blaise roared with laughter as Hermione smacked Ron's head. "You're an idiot."

"Actually," Draco mused. "It's not that hard to believe, I guess. But it won't happen. Remus's got a kid, that means he's straight."

"Oh, yeah, because no fathers realize that they're gay sometime in their lives." Harry rolled his eyes.

"Sirius would be good for Remus." Hermione said thoughtfully. "Even I think that they poor man needs to have some fun."

Blaise snorted. "The man carries a _gun_. How much more fun do you want him to have?"

"There is nothing wrong with carrying a gun." Harry said defensively. "And it's not like he goes around shooting people. It's for protection!"

"That's what wizards have these useful things called _wands_." Blaise informed the raven,

"Guns are horrid inventions." Pansy sniffed. "Only Muggles would come up with something so brutal."

Draco ran a hand absentmindedly through Harry's hair. He thought of the power and comfort he felt when he knew that he would be able to protect those he cared about, even without his wand. "I like them.""You would." Blaise wouldn't elaborate, but instead shared a look with Draco.

"So what are you two going to do?" Ron intervened. He had gotten quite skilled at stopping fights before they started. It was a skill he cherished - ironically enough, he didn't like fighting. Especially when he wasn't in the middle of the fight. He nodded to Pansy and Blaise. "You're going to Paris for a couple of years. I'm going into Auror training, and 'Mione's gonna go into law. But you two…somehow I don't see you shacking up with Sirius and Lupin and Teddy for too long."Harry shifted at Draco's feet, averting his eyes from Ron's. Hermione narrowed hers, picking up on the discomfort immediately.

"What are you not telling us?" she asked suspiciously.

"Nothing that's any of your business." Draco said coldly. Harry stayed quiet, locked in a staring contest with a sleepy Eris. It was a known fact that Eris nearly never blinked. Scarily enough, Harry was winning.

The two women's voices chimed together.

"Harry James Potter!"/"Draconius Lucius Malfoy!"

Blaise whistled. "Ooo, you two got middle-named."

Pansy glared at Draco and kicked him with her shoeless foot. "What are you planning?"

Draco met her glare with a cool one of his own. "Since you _obviously_ can't mind your own damn business…We're going to New York City for a while. Sirius found us an apartment we can rent." He shrugged. "From there, who knows? Maybe Miami or Rome or Tokyo."

"I vote Miami." Harry piped up from the floor. "I wanna go to South Beach, Remus said it's beautiful."

"You're going on _vacation_?" Ron cried incredulously. "Are you kidding?"

"I think I deserve a vacation." Harry said quietly. Everyone except for Ron could hear the warning in his voice. The compartment fell completely silent. Ron, the idiot he could be at times, decided to press forward, even though Harry had a brilliant point.

"But you promised we'd be Auror partners." he argued. "We can't do that if you start training after me."

Again, Harry's eyes went down. Ron groaned. "Mate -"

"Healing's more my speed." Harry muttered.

"_Healing_? Why would you want to go into Healing? You hate Potions and math, and that's what Healers do!"

"Maybe I think it's a better way to help people."

The Gryffindors missed how Harry's hands twitched as he said this, as if to touch the back of his shoulder. The Slytherins, however, noticed, and decided to intervene before the rest of their train trip was completely ruined.

"Oh, back off, Weasley." Blaise said cheerfully. "You'll still see Potter when you get landed in St. Mungo's. Which I should think would be quite often."

Gratefully, Ron laughed instead of getting angrier. Hermione sent Harry a look that told him that this conversation _so_ wasn't over. Harry gulped, but relaxed when Draco's hands found their way to his neck. They massaged his skin gently, rubbing away the knot that they found there.

"It'll be alright," Draco murmured, soft enough that only Harry heard him. "They don't have to know."

"Not yet," Harry agreed. "But eventually."

"Eventually what?" Ron butt in, his banter with Blaise put on hold for a moment.

"You'll realize I'm pregnant." Harry said seriously.

"Ah." Ron nodded somberly. "I thought you were showing, but I didn't want to say anything in case I was wrong."

"You want to be godfather?"

"I'd be _delighted_." Without any sort of preamble, Ron went back to his conversation with a bemuse, yet amused, Blaise. Harry joined in, just as calm and serious as Ron. (A/N: I swear, this was an actual conversation between two of my guy friends. Had to share it with you.) Hermione giggled.

"Don't worry, Draco," she assured him. "You'll get used to it."

Draco shook his head. "I'm not sure I'll always be able to tell when they're joking."

Pansy snorted. "Come it _off_, Draco. If you get shown up by a couple of _Gryffindors_, I will no longer speak to you."

Eris mewled an approval, causing Crookshanks to hiss. The bush cat had taken an instant dislike to the slender kitten, and never hesitated to show this dislike.

Draco rolled his eyes, but sat back and allowed himself to get lost in the light conversation of the odd group of friends.

* * *

Love is fickle. Both Harry and Draco had learned this over the course of the years. Draco, however, had never known that it could be so complicated. Or so strong. He once scoffed at the idea that simply _love_ could save one from a Killing Curse, that it could defeat a Dark Lord. Now he understood. It was a force more powerful than anything he had ever faced before.

They were sure to fight. Draco already knew this would happen. Blackened eyes, bloody noses, and painfully sharp words lie ahead in their future, as did sleepless nights, agonizing guilt, and severe heartache. It was a sure in. Draco knew this, and still found himself looking forward to a future with Harry freaking Potter.

Draco found that love wasn't picky, either. He never would have guessed that he and Harry would have fallen for each other, but nor did he really expect Sirius Black and Remus Lupin to hook up. When the six teens had gotten off the train at Platform Nine and Three Quarters, Blaise, Pansy and Draco had been dumbstruck by the sight of Remus gathered in Sirius' arms, protesting the molestation of his neck. The Gryffindors, however, had laughed victoriously. Hermione and Harry grumbled as they dug into their pockets and each handed a gloating Ron five Galleons.

"Told ya it'd be before your birthday, mate!" he crowed.

"You two are a couple of sluts." Harry snapped at the two men. "You couldn't have kept it in your pants for another month?"

Remus had flushed true Gryffindor red while Sirius roared with laughter. Draco decided that that was what he wanted for the future he was sure he'd share with Harry.

"You alright?" Harry's voice broke through Draco's mind, forcing Draco back to reality. The blonde gulped as he remembered where they were: on a plane, getting ready to fly out to New York City.

"About as alright as I can be before I send myself willingly to my death." he said bravely.

Harry grinned the grin that never failed to make Draco's heart stutter. "I've done it before. It's not that scary." He held his hand out, palm up on the armrest between their seats. "Though I suppose it'll be easier if you can hold someone's hand."

Draco gratefully laced his fingers with the raven's, shivering slightly as the engines of the plane roared to life.

"Don't worry," Harry continued, squeezing Draco's hand reassuringly. "Even if by some chance nothing short of a _miracle_, the plane does go down -"

Draco pale significantly and gripped Harry's hand in a death grip as Harry hurriedly continued. "Then I'll Apparate us to either New York or back home. I save people, remember? It's a hero thing."

"Why couldn't you just Apparate us to begin with?" Draco whined.

"Because I can't stand Apparation, period. Some people get seasick, I get Apparation-sick."

Draco gave him a dubious look. "If I die I'm going to haunt your arse and never leave you alone. I will be the biggest pain in your arse _ever_ and there won't be a damned thing you could do to stop me."

"I wouldn't want to." Harry leaned back in his seat, looking out the window at the runway that passed by slowly.

"I'm going to be _bored_." Draco complained. "It's fourteen hours! What are we supposed to _do_ for fourteen hours?"

"We could always join the Mile High Club." Harry said under his breath.

"The what?"

Harry smirked. "I think you'll like it. But you have to wait until the seatbelt light is off. That means we're at cruising height and can walk around."

Draco groaned. "Well what are we supposed to do until then?"

Harry shrugged. "Sleep?"

"You don't sleep. _Ever_. You're an insomniac. I'm going to wake up to you staring at me. No matter what Granger thinks, it's not romantic. It's _creepy_."

"Then think of something. I'm sure they'll have movies playing."

"But they won't play what I want to watch!"

"You've got to broaden your horizons, Draco." Harry laughed. "There's a lot more to movies than just Spiderman and Batman."

Draco scowled at first, then lit up as he thought of a promise made to him in hushed tones in the cover of darkness and the security of a lover's arms. "You promised to tell me about those Horcrux things."

"That I did." Harry looked over to Draco. "That's going to take a lot longer than it will for us to get to cruising height. You sure you want to push our membership initiation back?"

"I really don't care about joining some stupid club."

"You're going to regret those words." Harry warned.

Draco waved his hand impatiently. "So let me regret them later. I want to hear about the Horcrux hunt."

Harry smiled. "Alright then."

As Harry dove into the tale that began in their sixth year, Draco couldn't help feeling excitement that he had never felt before. Yes, love was fickle and complicated and downright confusing. But it was also powerful and wonderful and completely intoxicating. It was like a drug, one that Draco just couldn't get enough of. It probably wasn't what his parents would have wanted for him, but he couldn't care less.

And to think it had started with some major baby mama drama.

**_Fin_**

* * *

Oh my goodness it's done. :O Anyone else feel like something just died? I don't know what to do now! XD Oh, well, I guess I gotta work on my next fanfiction...^.^

I HAVE BEEN POINTED OUT TO BY SEVERAL PEOPLE: That in Chapter Nineteen, I had Draco say that he was the reason that Dumbledore was dead. I AM SO SORRY! I screwed up! I'm such an idiot. I had typed it and edited it at about 2 AM, so I missed that sentance when I was editing it. I am so sorry so that I did that! I'm pissed, but I don't know how to fix that without screwing up the chapter sequence. Anyone care to tell me how to do that? Cuz that would be nice to know. But, anyways, what the line is SUPPOSED to say is: "I'm the reason that Dumbledore was almost killed!"; not "I'm the reason Dumbledore's dead!". But because I'm an idiot, I completely missed that glaring mistake. So I do apologize to everyone!

And I swear, that conversation between Ron and Harry about being 'pregnant' was a real conversation between two of my guy friends, only theirs was more in depth than that. XD It was HYSTERICAL. XD

So here is the end of **Baby Mama Drama**, my own little baby. It's grown up and done, so now ya'll have to wait for my next fanfiction to read any serious DracoXHarry smut! ;)


End file.

Harry Potter, Humor, Romance