Card Captor Sakura 1. Beginnings

It was hard to say when it had begun exactly

It was hard to say when it had begun exactly. On one of the Chinese girls many trips to Tomoeda perhaps. Or perhaps when they had conspired together to bring the two people that they loved the most together. One because her happiness was one and the same with the happiness of the one she loved. The other because she wouldn't be thrown over for someone else if nothing ever even came of the relationship with this other girl and the one she loved.

Or maybe it began with one girl crying and the other girl comforting her, both heartbroken in their own way. But when it begun does not matter, only that it did begin. And eventually both learned that new loves can be found, that second loves can be ten times as sweet as first loves and that there is nothing as wonderful as loving and being loved in return.


	2. Endings

Sakura, it was always Sakura. It was not possible to know her and not love her. My mother saw the ghost of her dead love in her and loved her all the more for it. More than she loved me, perhaps. But I was incapable of begrudging her the affection. She had no idea that people weren't this kind to everyone. And I loved her too. I loved her the most for a while before she and Syaoran found each other. They knew each other for three years before they both knew that they loved each other and that they in turn were loved. But they found one other in the end. Or the beginning, it depends on how you look at it. My ending and their beginning.

"Daidouji-saan!"

...or my beginning too.

"Call me Tomoyo-chan," I admonished the girl gently. She smirked and skipped up to me, her hair swinging across her back. She stopped flush against me, our thighs and noses barely touching. We stood together like that for several shared breaths before Mei-Lin took my hands into hers and bridged the gap between us. Her lips were soft and firm against mine. She pulled away and rested her forehead on mine and inhaled my exhale. "Tomoyo-chan," she whispered against my face. "Yes."


	3. Enemies

It would have been easier if they were enemies. Two teams against each other, fighting for a single winner. But Sakura and Tomoyo were too soft hearted to consider Syaoran and by extension Meiling anything other than friends and allies.

Syaoran was the one to let the lines blur on their side first by giving up his claim on the Cloud card. Meiling had tried to be supportive, saying that he would be the master of all the cards soon but he had brushed her off. Sakura won him over slowly with her smiles and her friendship and her open hearted kindness. And at the same time Meiling was being won over by Tomoyo's quiet sympathy and small palm squeezing hers when Syaoran and Sakura fought without them.

They should have been enemies. They were after all supporting contending would-be masters of the Clow. But at times it seemed so much more like they were Sakura-and-Syaoran and Tomoyo-and-Meiling rather than Sakura-and-Tomoyo and Syaoran-and-Meiling.

Meiling envied Tomoyo. Tomoyo had accepted her own unrequited love and was content to be a friend to Sakura and never a lover. Meiling wished she could be happy for Syaoran no matter what. She wished she could be happy to be his closest cousin and his best friend. But she couldn't. She could give him up when he told her he loved someone else. But she couldn't be happy for him yet.

Tomoyo knew. Whether she knew because she knew everything concerning Sakura or because she simply knew everything was up for debate. And she had been there to give her an escape from Syaoran's apologies and his pity. She knew that Meiling would need to cry and that she wouldn't want to cry in front of him. She was too proud and she didn't want Syaoran to feel guilty for not loving her like she wanted him to.

With her head in Tomoyo's lap and her Tomoyo's hands in her hair, Meiling wondered when she had been befriended by this perfect girl. She had certainly given Tomoyo no cause to feel any pain on her behalf. Was she just this kind to everyone? Was her hands stroking her hair and drying her tears just the charity she'd give to any acquaintance. Or was it given out of some kind of fellow feeling?

"I wish I could hate her! But I like Kinamoto-chan! It would be easier if we were enemies!" Her shuddering sobs were muffled by Tomoyo's dress. She was soaking the other girl's dress with her angry tears.

"I know, Meiling-chan," Tomoyo said, her breath ghosting over Meiling's face. "I will always be a friend to you Meiling. Even if you don't want me to sometimes." Meiling looked up at the pale girl above her, hiccuping before lowering her head again as a fresh bout of tears overtook her. Maybe it would have been easier if Sakura was her enemy, but right now she was glad that Tomoyo was her friend.


	4. Heart

Heart

Sakura, it was always Sakura. It still hurt her a little that Tomoyo never looked at her like she had looked at Sakura. Her eyes so bright with love and practically swooning from happiness at being near her. Meiling swore that she had almost saw hearts in her like a girl in a shoujo manga waxing poetic about her love.

Tomoyo looked at her with warmth but not with that love that burned so fiercly. Maybe no one would ever love her the way people loved Sakura. Maybe she would always be in the shadow cast by that sweet, clumsy girl.

Meiling asked her once if she still have all those videos of Sakura. Videos of Sakura capturing cards, Sakra transforming cards, Sakura looking especially cute, Sakura pouring tea, Sakura, Sakura, Sakura. Tomoyo had looked at her confusedly, "Of course."

Tomoyo knocked on the door of her guest bedroom and opened it to find Meiling changing into a new outfit for the summer festival they were going to. It was the red yukata decorated with small hearts that she had bought her the summer before. She hadn't had a chance to see it on yet. She crept up behind her girlfriend, put her arms around her waist and pressed a kiss to the crook of her neck. Meiling turned and looked into her eyes, smiling.

"You look so cute and pretty! I told you it would be lovely on you . Wait while I get my camera!" Tomoyo flew out of the room. Meiling sat down on the bed and let out a choked half sob half laugh.

Her shoulders continued shaking until she burst into fully fledged laughter with tears streaking down her face.

Tomoyo re-entered the room and seeing her tears gathered her up in her arms, cradling the Chinese girl's head against her chest.

"What's the matter, Meiling-chan?"

"Nothing," Meiling gasped, "I'm just happy. And I love you"

Tomoyo smiled and kissed her tear-stained cheeks, "And I love you so much." And she did.


	5. Purple

A lot of things were difficult to explain to her family. It would almost have been easier if she had been gay. Her father's exact words had been, "If you could chose right, why did you chose wrong?" Then there were the knowing nods from people when she told them and the condescending smiles that said "let's indulge her little phase." Yet another thing to add onto the list of disappointments she had managed to accrue in her short life. Female, unmagical, bisexual.

It had seemed very straightforward to Meiling at first. She had been in love with Syaoran, she was now in love with Tomoyo. Who was a girl. Which Syaoran was not. To other people however, this represented a whole world of politics and terms and labels.

Sakura, had in her usual fashion embraced her enthusiastically and exclaimed that they were all family now. Tomoyo's mother had shook her hand and given her a tight smile. Syaoran, had stuttered but had kissed her and her new girlfriend on the cheek. Wei, had said nothing and ordered a new double bed to be moved into her room in the apartment.

"Tomoyo, are you a lesbian?" Meiling asked and immediately felt foolish asking the woman who was after all, naked in her bed and curved around her back.

"Yes," said Tomoyo simply.

"I'm not you know," said Meiling quickly

"I know sweetheart," sighed Tomoyo into her neck, "you loved Syaoran and now you love me. The important thing is that you love me."

Meiling felt Tomoyo's arms pull her closer and she settled herself against the Japanese girl's body. The fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.

"I love you"

"I know."


	6. Independence

Tomoyo hadn't had a bodyguard since she was a child and her mother had employed a troupe of amazon women to protect her daughter. Protect from what exactly, Tomoyo had never been sure. It had been liberating to travel without an entourage, once she reached maturity. To be independent and free. It couldn't last long though. Few successful musicians could manage long without a bodyguard. Even ones whose girlfriends had black belts in multiple martial arts.

Meiling had been terrified after they came home the night a drunk "fan" had tried to paw the singer. Tomoyo had tried to calm her down by pointing out that he hadn't so much as laid a finger on her.

"The next one might! I can't always be there to protect you!" Meiling shrieked at her storming out of the room.

That night they made love desperately, holding each other too tight and crying. When Meiling eventually fell asleep, Tomoyo cried some more. Tears and snot ran down her face as she screwed up her reddened face. If the press could only see her now. She wept like the child she had never been. People were always taken aback by how sweet she was, but she could be petty and selfish too. When there was no one to see.

At least, she thought, this would be a bodyguard in her employ and not her mother's. Someone who answered to her. Meiling had insisted on coming to help her interview the candidates, saying that she wanted to be sure of whoever the other girl chose. Tomoyo acquiesced on the condition that it would be her own final choice.

He had come with the highest of recommendations from Souma. With a reference from Souma, a bodguard could get a job anywhere. He was scowling at the blonde waiter who was bringing their cakes.

"Two cakes for the cute girls and a black coffee for the mean puppy," beamed their server

"Don't call me stupid names," growled the would-be bodyguard of Japan's newest musical sensation.

"Nyaa! You're so scary before you drink your coffee," replied the waiter who seemed more delighted than scared.

Kurogane passed the interview with flying colours, impressing both Meiling and their waiter.

"Can you give us a moment please," asked Tomoyo quietly. With a small nod, Kurogane left the table and went to wait by the counter.

"What do you think? I think he's perfect. You should get him to start today. I-"

"Meiling-chan, I don't know," Tomoyo cut her off suddenly

"Is it because he's a man?" Meiling asked seriously. Tomoyo laughed more than she had in weeks.

They hired Kurogane to start immediately. He offered them a genuine smile and told them they wouldn't be disappointed. Tomoyo pretended not to notice the blonde waiter slip a business card into her new employee's pocket and murmur in his ear while they were settling the bill. Meiling teased him about it for the next two weeks.


	7. Diamond

They sparkled like twin diamonds together, laughing and dancing. Two girls could not look less alike physically but they transmitted identical fields of pure joy that night. One was willowy and soft spoken and almost delicate looking beside her dancing parter. The other looked athletic and strong, holding her partner firmly but gently. Their laughter woven together was discordant in an oddly harmonic way, the loud brash bark and the tinkling response.

They were in great danger of outshining the blushing bride who shone like the sun filling up the room. She ran to the couple and kissed them both, gushing that she loved them and would write to them every day when she was on her honeymoon.

"I never thought I would be happy to see Syaoran-kun marry another girl. But I love Sakura-chan like my own cousin now," Meiling smiled at her companion, "I'm not like you, you would have loved happily forever."

"I love her too," said Tomoyo and shook her head slightly, "but not like I love you."

Meiling beamed at her and pulled her into a brief kiss and rested her forehead against her lover's.

"I heard that your cousins think that there'll be another family wedding before the year is out," Tomoyo nodded towards Syaoran's scheming siblings, who were studying them intently from the other side of the room.

"Do you want one?" asked Meiling. Tomoyo smiled enigmatically.

"It would be for them more than for us. We already know that we will always be together. They just want to dress us up and pick flower displays."

Meiling poked her midriff playfully.

"Like you and Sakura's wedding?" she teased.

"Exactly," replied Tomoyo and kissed her partner's cheek tenderly.


	8. Sixth Sense

One of the first things they had in common was their lack of magical abilities. Not that this wasn't unusual, after all most people did not possess power over magic. But they were both the non-magical half of both 'teams' that were collecting the cards. They were more than cheerleaders and often contributed to the capture of the cards, but there was always the elephant in the room. There were experiences that they could never share in, separating them from Sakura and Syaoran, and at the same time drawing them closer together.

Tomoyo may not have been psychic but she had such insight into situations that it made little difference some times. She noticed everything around here and drew her own silent observations. She knew that Sakura would never notice her the way she wanted, she knew that Syaoran was beginning to notice her that way, she knew that Meiling would have her heart broken.

"You knew he would tell me about her that night," Meiling said accusingly

"I didn't know for certain. But I wanted you to know that I would be there if he did," was Tomoyo's calm response.

"How can you be so selfless? Not only do you give up your love but you comfort the cast offs that your rival leaves behind?" Meiling laughed humourlessly.

"Don't be bitter. You're my friend, not a 'cast off' and Syaoran was never my rival. I just wanted Sakura to be with the one that would make her happiest."

"I don't understand you at all sometimes Daidouji-san. But I'm glad that you're my friend." She reached out and squeezed the other girl's hand.

"I'm happy being her friend," she said this quietly, almost reassuring herself. Meiling watched in horror as a tear rolled down her face and dripped off her nose. She searched for a handkerchief and passed it over wordlessly. Tomoyo wiped her face and sniffed delicately.

"It's all right to be sad when things don't work out like you hoped," she said putting her arm around the smaller girl.

"But I knew she didn't love me like that," said Tomoyo sounding lost, "When I first met her I knew that I loved her and I knew she would never love me. I decided to be happy for her. But somehow... even though I knew... I'm still sad," she looked down ashamed.

Meiling didn't know how to comfort people who cried. She would usually try to jolt them out of it with her aggressive optimism, but that wouldn't work here. She did what countless people had done before her when confronted with a crying girl and what countless more would do after her. She kissed her. Tomoyo gasped, but then pressed her lips against Meiling's and returned the kiss.

"I didn't think you'd do that," Tomoyo said touching her lips

"You can't predict everything," Meiling said lamely, "Was that, was it ok?"

Tomoyo looked up and gave her a bright smile.


	9. Home

When was it, that Japan had become home? Not when she was going to school there certainly. Every time she left for Hong Kong she'd defiantly been going home.

It was on one of the short summer trips that Syaoran started taking and that she'd tag along for. He went back to Tomeda and Sakura at every opportunity. There was even talk about him staying there after he completed his degree in the University of Tokyo. His home was wherever Sakura was, and she would never leave Japan.

On the plane, the summer she was fifteen she thought, 'Thank god I'm going home' and then realised that technically, no she wasn't. But it felt that way. Then Sakura and Tomoyo started visiting Hong Kong during the winter.

Tomoyo came because it was a given that if Sakura was going so was she. Meiling found her self hanging around her aunt's house late into the evening, angling for invitations to stay the night. When she did sleep over she sneak into the guest room and stay up half the night talking to the two Japanese girls, and fall asleep between them in the large bed they had made by pushing two single beds together. And she felt at home.

The summer she was eighteen she invited Tomoyo to stay with her in Hong Kong.

"We should spend more time together," she had said ("not with them," she didn't say)

"I would love to," Tomoyo smiled and clasped her hands. She did not mention the growing discomfort that she felt around Sakura and Syaoran. Or the complete safety she felt around Meiling.

With Tomoyo's belongings installed (surprisingly little. But of course she wouldn't be filming a documentary with several costume changes this time around) they went out to a local western-style bar for drinks. They got a corner booth to themselves and giggled into drinks and attracting admiring glances from several of the younger males in the establishment.

They weaved back to Meiling's house late that night, clutching each other and laughing at misspelled graffiti. They stumbled over the thresh-hold, shushing each other loudly and bumping into the seemingly endless procession of end tables in the foyer.

When they reached Tomoyo's room, they quieted suddenly and looked at the ground.

"Good night Daidouji-san," Meiling whispered. Tomoyo looked at her confused.

"Aren't you going to sleep with me?" she said, slurring slightly. Meiling blushed prettily.

"Alright." Tomoyo opened the door and Meiling followed her, uncharacteristically silent.

They climbed into the bed, their limbs tangled together under the covers. Tomoyo leant over and kissed Meiling's cheek sweetly.

"Goodnight Meiling-chan," she said sleepily.

Meiling's last thought before going to sleep, clutching the other girl's hand, was 'I'm home.'


	10. Birth

When Sakura announced she was expecting a baby, it seemed like no-one had been more excited than Tomoyo.

Syaoran had taken to going pale and leaving the room when the talk would turn to "when the baby's born."

Touya had started treating his sister like she was very delicate and very likely to explode. Yukito had beamed and started looking significantly at his boyfriend and talking about _how nice _it was going to be for Sakura to be a mommy. ("Isn't it wonderful, To-ya! Your _little _sister is having a baby of her very own. How much younger is Sakura than you again?")

Fujitaka had gotten misty eyed and looked at pictures of his late wife with his pregnant daughter on his knee.

Sonomi had ordered every item of baby paraphernalia on the market and shipped it to Syaoran and Sakura's house (they had sent her a nice note, but had discretely sold most of the more obscure items on ebay. "Why do we need five strollers?" Syaoran had asked, panic edging into his voice).

Syaoran's mother had invited Sakura to tea and told her stories about stretch marks and varicose veins and changing nappies. Sakura was very grateful for her to have thought of this ("Because my mom isn't able to tell me this stuff. Ne Syaoran?" "I think I left the oven on... I'm just... I need the... be back in a...")

But Tomoyo had, from the very start, left them all in the dust. She went with Sakura to every pre-natal exam, went shopping for baby things and asked the shop assistants endless questions about the different things on sale and made endless baby clothes in various sizes ("Of course, when the baby is born I'll make ones for a boy or a girl," she had said thoughtfully to an off-green Syaoran when she delivered a small mountain of garments to their house) .

Meiling had not for many years been this jealous of Sakura. She knew that Tomoyo loved Sakura in a very special way that was different to how she loved her and not threatening at all. But still, this was a bit much. None the less she was a grown up now and she would deal with this in a rational and calm way. No emotional blackmailing. Well... maybe a little.

"Tomoyo-chan, if Sakura doesn't need your help today can we go for a walk together"

Tomoyo was not a fool and knew exactly what that tone meant.

"I promised Sakura-chan that I'd help her pick out a car-seat today. And then we're going to a seminar on re-usable nappies. You can come if you like and we'll have a walk afterwards"

Meiling pouted.

"No, no I'm sure I wouldn't be able to help Sakura-chan like you can," she pronounced dramatically

"But I miss my Meiling-chan," smiled Tomoyo coyly

"Doesn't feel like it. All you want to do is hang out with Sakura and film her bump these days," Meiling scowled

"It's a very special time for Sakura and I don't want to miss anything," said Tomoyo simply, "She's scared and isn't sure that she'll be a good mother because she doesn't remember much about her own mother. She doesn't want to tell Syaoran she's scared because he's scared too. She needs someone to tell her it'll all be alright and be there for her."

"She told you this?"

"No. I just know." Figures.

"Are you jealous?" Tomoyo held Meiling close

"Maybe," said Meiling

"Oh my darling girl," Tomoyo murmered into her neck, "you are so silly sometimes."

"... can I come to the nappy seminar?" Meiling said quietly, "I miss my Tomoyo-chan."

Tomoyo smiled and produced her coat from behind her back.

"Just in case you changed your mind," she explained and kissed Meiling while putting it on for her.


	11. Light

When Tomoyo sang the world stopped and for a minute was a better place. Meiling said that only Tomoyo could rival her in singing, but she knew privately that no one, alive or dead, could rival Tomoyo. Her pure, sweet voice was almost ethereal and so unlike the voice of a child. It was more like a spirit or an angel. It wasn't a fashionable voice, the voices that were currently favoured by the Japanese media were upbeat and sugary. They were like bubblegum, exciting at first, but they soon lost their interesting flavour and were replaced. Tomoyo left people moved and unalterably changed and for a while you fell in love with her a little bit.

Meiling never fell out of love with her when the song ended and the world went back to the way it had been before. From the first time she heard the other girl sing, she loved her. A tiny pinprick of light next to the blinding glow that was her love for Syaoran, but over time the glow dimmed and the little glimmer grew and grew.

If you put a frog in boiling water it will immediately jump out, but if you put that same frog in lukewarm water and slowly heat it, it will stay sitting in it until it's too late. By the time Meiling realised she was in love with Tomoyo it was far too late.

Tomoyo knew, of course. There was very little she didn't know. What she didn't know certainly wouldn't fill a long, or particularly interesting, book. So it came as some surprise when she realised that she love Meiling back.

Meiling saw her waiting at the arrivals gate and ran towards her smiling, leaving a bemused Syaoran in her wake. Tomoyo felt her heart trip over itself and her stomach fill with butterflies while outwardly she smiled calmly, masking her excitement. She held out her arms and moments later they were filled with Meiling, her sweet smelling hair swinging in her face. Meiling kissed her cheek and quickly pulled away blushing. Tomoyo smiled again, took Meiling's hand and held it all the way to the waiting car.


	12. Snow

The uncovered expanse of her skin was white and flawless as freshly fallen snow. Unpitted, unmarked, untouched; it almost felt wrong to caress her perfect body, as though it could be sullied by another's impurity.

The gentle slope of her ivory breast was topped with a rosy pink nipple that tempted kissing too strongly to be denied. Small brown hands roamed that white body; cupped, fondled and furrowed into her sweet flesh.

A look of exquisite agony came over that usually serene face, and Meiling realised her mistake. The beauty of the snow untouched paled in comparison to its melting.


	13. Birthday

Tomoyo kissed her girlfriend absently, thinking of patterns and materials and exams. It used to be fun making clothes, and it still was, but now it was hard work. She was studying fashion and design, and was even getting some recognition in a few of the smaller magazines (ones run by one or two individuals, for a love fashion more than for profit). Meiling was studying business and Japanese and they lived together in an apartment halfway between their colleges.

They both loved what they were doing, but were so busy that sometimes they would only see each other at breakfast and when they were going to sleep.

Meiling was teaching Kung Fu to middle schoolers three times a week to earn some extra money and Tomoyo would occasionally sell a dress. They didn't have many luxuries and more often than not lived on instant noodles. Neither of them wanted to take money from their parents, though.

Tomoyo couldn't afford a mannequin, so all of her pinning up and adjusting was done with Meiling standing on a chair in her latest creation.

"Do you want a mannequin for your birthday," Meiling had asked.

"Don't you like being my cute model?" Tomoyo teased gently.

Meiling smiled back down at the Japanese girl, who was looking critically at the dress with a mouth full of pins. She understood.

The day had been a frantic blur of deadlines and sketches that refused to take form. Meiling looked at her expectantly.

"Happy birthday, Tomoyo-chan," she said after a moment of silence.

Was it? Tomoyo furrowed her brow and tried to remember what date it was. Had she really forgotten her own birthday?

"You forgot!" said Meiling, looking as affronted as if it had been her own birthday that had been forgotten.

"I've been busy," Tomoyo apologized, "I can't even remember what day it is."

Meiling's face softened.

"I made you a cake!" she said and taking her by the hand led her to the kitchen.

It had taken three attempts. The first one had deflated moments after being taken out of the oven and the second had burned in parts and not cooked all the way through in others. After that, she'd called in reinforcements in the form of Yukito and a slightly grumpy Touya. The third cake was perfect.

Meiling smiled widely and presented it to Tomoyo. Tomoyo looked at her smiling girlfriend fondly and accepted the strawberry sponge.

"Twenty one candles," she said quietly.

"You're turning into such an old lady," Meiling said cheekily, "I'll get your present."

She sprinted out of the room and returned two minutes later with an awkwardly shaped bundle.

"It was hard to wrap," she complained and put it down carefully on the kitchen table.

Tomoyo unpeeled the tape, being sure not to tear the brightly coloured paper.

"Don't you want to rip it?" asked Meiling impatiently

Tomoyo smiled at her indulgently, but continued to carefully unwrap her present. At last the paper fell away and a small red toy piano was revealed. It had thirty three keys, which on closer inspection, worked, producing a sweet tone.

"You said you missed your piano and that we didn't have room for one-" Meiling said, uncharacteristically shyly, looking at her shoes.

Tomoyo broke her off by hugging her firmly.

"It's perfect," she said softly.


	14. Water

Tomoyo's kisses were like cool water, closing around her lips perfectly, forming inverse shapes against her face and neck. Her long body would undulate and ripple as Meiling's hands would trace patterns on her skin, trailing her fingertips over the flat surface. Water was yin, like Tomoyo. The yin to her yang, the other half of her soul, the person that completed her.

Meiling used to think that she'd drown in the depths of her emotions. They were too strong, too much for her body to contain. But love isn't like drowning, not when you do it right. It's floating.


End file.

Card Captor Sakura, Romance