Harry Potter Sitiophotis Fever

_A/N: Thanks to KaraSays, WeasleyForMe, and the rest of the gang at Twin Exchange for the inspiration and just being awesome._

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Meals at the Burrow were always a rather crowded event, and this Sunday's dinner was no exception. Luna floated in amongst the sea of red hair and chose a seat next to Percy, innocently asking him if he'd received anymore samples of fertilizer. She didn't seem to notice his cheeks flush, or the twins' snickers, as she reached for the potatoes, tucking her wand safely behind her ear. She seemed content just to soak up the flurry of conversation as she enjoyed Mrs. Weasley's delicious cooking.

After a rather animated discussion about Fred and George's newest product, Extendable Eyes, Mrs. Weasley was bustling about the table trying to give everyone second helpings when Luna realized that one of the many freckled Weasleys was absent from the dinner table.

"Is someone missing?" she asked vaguely.

Mrs. Weasley paused for a moment, then continued to place small mountains of food on everyone's plates while she replied, "Oh, yes, Charlie said he wasn't feeling well enough to come down tonight."

"Charlie is the attractive one," Luna stated a bit more matter-of-fact than usual. The entire party turned to her with wide eyes. Ron's fork clattered onto his plate, and Fred looked more than a little insulted. "Is he very ill?"

"Not at all, dear, just a touch of the flu," was the motherly response.

Luna's already large eyes widened a fraction as she jumped up, half muttering something about an "outbreak of Sitiophotis Fever" as she swiftly left the room.

"Do have some pie first!" Mrs. Weasley called after her, "It's blueberry!"

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Charlie woke from a restless nap to find a protuberant pair of crystal blue eyes a mere three inches from his own.

"Merlin's pants!" Charlie shrieked before he could compose himself.

"It's exactly as I feared," his blonde visitor announced solemnly.

Although Charlie had seen Luna frequently enough, especially at recent family meals, to know of her unique forms of conversation, he'd never spent any time alone with her. He decided that the puzzled look on his face would have to serve as his response.

"You have Sitiophotis Fever, of course," Luna continued, "You have all of the symptoms: vomiting, drowsiness, extremely good looks, and, of course, a sudden and irrational aversion to blueberry pie."

Charlie's confused expression only increased.

"The wrackspurts probably aren't helping," Luna commented, peering into the invalid's ears.

"I have Sitiophotis Fever?" Charlie asked slowly. Luna nodded. He'd been under the impression that one of the twins had slipped something into his breakfast in an attempt to coerce him into testing out a new product. "Is there a cure?" he asked.

Luna began to explain the ways he could get rid of the Fever. "You have to confuse it. You can either convince it that you aren't incredibly attractive, or you can eat a large portion of blueberry pie."

"Will you nurse me back to health?" Charlie asked, grinning saucily, just before emptying the remaining contents of his stomach into a large basin next to the bed. "_Evanesco_," he murmured weakly. He felt a cool hand on his forehead as his new nurse carefully examined him, noting the heat of his skin against her hand and the light sheen of sweat that covered his face and neck.

She sighed, looking concerned. "I'll go get the pie."

"No!" Charlie cried, "Not the pie! Please don't make me eat the pie." Under normal circumstances, he could eat several of his mother's delicious pies in one sitting, but the thought of eating anything at the moment had him reaching for the basin again. Luna mistook his dread of vomiting for a dread of blueberries, and tried to convince him it was the easiest way before she left the room.

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"_Accio_ Pie!" Luna called, her head inside the Weasley's magically enlarged icebox.

Back upstairs, she knocked twice on Charlie's door before entering. His skin turned a pale shade of green when he saw the monstrous serving of dessert that had been prepared for him. He wondered briefly if Sitiophotis Fever was fatal if left untreated.

Lost in a staring match with his new enemy, it took him a few moments to notice that Luna was failing in an attempt to prop his muscular torso up on a stack of pillows. He sat up quickly, unintentionally pressing his firm chest against Luna's soft curves, and both of them blushed a shade resembling Charlie's hair. In a valiant attempt at forming a coherent thought, Luna spluttered, "Um...pie?"

It only took one glance at the mountainous pile of blueberries next to him for Charlie to forget all about Luna's body. Shifting his gaze from the pie to the empty basin, he decided to bargain. "Maybe in another hour?" he asked, "I'm afraid I won't be able to keep it down for long."

"Oh, don't worry, that won't matter," Luna said, "As long as you can overcome the fear."

Charlie gulped audibly. 'This is more bizarre than the time I had scrofungulus,' he thought. With a grimace, he reached for the plate and slowly forced blueberry after blueberry past his aching throat and into his sore stomach. After scraping the last bits of crust away with his fork, he sank further into the pillows, completely exhausted. Luna brushed away a few stray crumbs from the corner of his mouth with her thumb. Charlie gave her a weak, blue-tinged smile when he looked into her eyes, which were positively shining with excitement.

"You did it!" she exclaimed. "You should be on the mend, now. You might just be the first person to survive the Fever!" Charlie hadn't realized he'd come so close to death, but decided he didn't particularly care as Luna gave him a friendly peck on the forehead. Her face remained only inches from his as he gently touched her cheek with his calloused palm. He was about to show her how much he appreciated her Healing abilities with a kiss of his own when he was again forced to lean over the side of the bed, as a frightening amount of partially digested blueberries spewed from his mouth.

"_Evanesco_." Luna waved her wand over the mess. "I'll fetch you a glass of water," she said, smiling kindly.

No sooner had he muttered a weak "Thanks," to her retreating form than he heard two loud pops signaling Fred and George's appearance to his former deathbed.

"Terribly sorry about all this," George said, although he looked quite cheerful.

"We could hear you getting sick three floors away!" Fred exclaimed gleefully. "Much more convincing than the earlier snackboxes, don't you think?"

"Anyway, we've got the antidote right here," said George, holding up a purple-colored toffee.

"Of course," Fred continued, "if you don't want to eat it right away, it'll be our little secret." He gave his brother a roguish wink, and the pair left singing, "Charlie and Loony sittin' in a tree..."

Charlie grinned at the toffee in his hand. He was certain he wouldn't mind being ill for another decade or so if Luna stuck around, but he also didn't want to be interrupted by his stomach every time he tried to kiss her. He popped the candy into his mouth, and, feeling instantly healthy, remembered he'd been in bed all day vomiting and could probably use a nice hot bath and some mouthwash.

When Luna returned with a tray full of sandwiches and tea alongside the water she promised, Charlie's bed was empty. Almost seeming not to notice, she took a seat on top of the mess of scarlet sheets, helping herself to Molly's roast beef. A few moments later, Charlie reappeared wearing nothing but a towel and a few leftover water droplets from the bath. Luna stared unabashedly at his muscular physique, taking in the shiny burn scars that decorated his skin and the light trail of Weasley-red hair that led from his navel to disappear underneath the terrycloth.

Charlie chuckled softly. He had frequently seen that exact dreamy look on Luna's face, but it was usually directed off into space or at some invisible creature only she could see. Now, if he wasn't mistaken, her eyes were roaming across his chest, and traveling slowly downward. He cleared his throat loudly.

"I brought you some roast beef," she said. "Would you like some?"

"Absolutely." He gave her a lopsided grin. "Would you mind if I got dressed first?" Although she was clearly giving him a look that said she wouldn't mind if he were wearing even less, she tactfully left the room.

When he reopened the door for her, they sat down and helped themselves to tea and sandwiches. Charlie, having been unable to keep anything down all day, ate four. Luna chatted about trips to find magical creatures with her father and asked Charlie about the dragons he worked with, and then fed him another slice of pie, just to be safe. When the last bite had been cleared away, she promptly leaned in and kissed him on the mouth.

"I never did get to taste that blueberry pie," she explained.

Giving her his sauciest smile, Charlie said, "In that case," leaning in again, "I'm keeping the pie from you more often."

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_Please review!_


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Harry Potter, Humor, Romance