Naruto With Real Pork Bits

**With Real Pork Bits**

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Sasuke was worried.

He was worried as Naruto was not behaving in his usual manner.

It went like this. After an argument, they would part angrily. Then, they'd meet (pure _coincidence, _mind you) preferably in a long corridor. Sasuke would then feign nonchalance and pretend Naruto was invisible. Naruto, to save face, would obviously do so as well. However, the moment Sasuke's fingers came into contact with the doorknob, Naruto would turn about, point and shout angrily across the long corridor, "SASUKE, YOU COLD-HEARTED BASTARD!"

Sasuke would turn, close the door behind him, and pretend he didn't hear what Naruto had shouted.

Then, later, he'd go and look for Naruto. (Which was easy, because eleven out of ten times he would be at Ichiraku.) When he arrived, Naruto would turn, noodles halfway up his mouth to exclaim, "YOU'RE LATE, BASTARD!"

And Sasuke would "Hn." even if he didn't mean it, then proceed to sit next to Naruto, who would have, as usual, obnoxiously ordered ramen for Sasuke. This was the 'Post Argument Protocol', which Sasuke followed religiously.

Today, however, something was terribly amiss. After they'd parted with their customary insults, they'd met. Sasuke had made a great show of cool nonchalance (the best yet) but Naruto had merely shuffled past. To compensate for Naruto's obvious stupidity, Sasuke even took 0.0075 seconds longer to open the door, but Naruto had already shut the door at the other end.

It was the first time Naruto had done that. And as far as Sasuke was concerned, it was the last.

* * *

Sasuke was So Worried that he even made it a point to walk past Naruto several times, but Naruto had been so dense, he didn't even react properly. So, after Sasuke had walked past Naruto for the seventh time, Sasuke decided that something was greatly amiss. 

Naruto wasn't following the 'Post Argument Protocol'. _Although, _Sasuke thought, _he probably doesn't know it exists. _

Since it was lunchtime, Sasuke decided to skip Step One (preposterous!) and proceed to Step Two – Also known as Ichiraku.

So he'd stepped into the restaurant, fully prepared for a volley of insults when it realised it was empty. (Not literally, just that the person he had in mind was absent.) He must have looked quite horrified, for the owner the restaurant looked over his shoulder rather nervously to see what the matter was.

"Young man," the shop owner called out, annoyed at being anxious for nothing. "Ramen?"

Sasuke bolted.

* * *

The source of Sasuke's worries was currently in Sasuke's very own apartment. It was an ingenious plan, if Naruto had planned to _avoid_ Sasuke, seeing as the most dangerous place is often the safest. However, Naruto's aim was to meet Sasuke, so it was not cunning craftiness on his part. 

Said boy was currently in Sasuke's wardrobe, with one of Sasuke's high-collared shirts wrapped around his head. It wasn't to say the rest of Sasuke's clothes were saved from ill-treatment; they were all crumpled anyway.

Sunset, and the sky exploded into a flurry of vibrant colours. Birds added a truly artistic touch as they flew towards wind vanes, chirping their hearts out.

However, Naruto saw none of it, stuck in Sasuke's wardrobe was he was.

The door clicked open and Naruto jerked awake.

_Shitthat'sSasukeandhe'sgonnaseemeclutchinghisshirtslikesome**GIRL**_. _Should I run? Noooo, Sasuke'll know, I bet he will. Okay, I'll just hide here, hold my breath, hold it!_

Naruto took an enormous gulp of air and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Damnit, he _knew_ Sasuke was a bastard but he didn't know Sasuke was an _unhygienic_ one. Naruto frowned, irritated and opened the door just a little – a crack – and he saw, he saw Sasuke's room, right. And Sasuke's feet, his knees, his stomach, he saw Sasuke looking at him in shock – wait, SASUKE?!

"Oi!" Naruto greeted nervously, scrambling to get the shirt off his head.

Sasuke managed to move his jaw, but not activate the powers of speech. After he'd gone to every ramen restaurant (twice each, in case he'd missed him), went to every store that sold instant ramen, fretted about how potential tracks would have been covered with the footsteps of the other villages; after searching _everywhere_ for Naruto, that _idiot_ was in his _wardrobe_?

"Oh yea," Naruto continued cheerfully. "I crumpled your clothes. Sorry."

So Sasuke reached out – and hit Naruto on the head. Hard.

"Damnit! What was _that_ for," Naruto scowled. "I said sorry, didn't I?! I'll iron them okay, you petty—"

Sasuke sighed and dragged Naruto out of the wardrobe (still grumbling like an old man) before sinking onto his bed in an attempt to compose himself.

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked, looking concerned. "You okay? You look kinda pale, y'know. Oh! I know, you went to the doctor just now, was it?"

"Naruto," Sasuke said, revealing that he was _pale_, sure, positively pale with _rage_. "Where were you?"

"Are you stupid or what?" Naruto said, gesturing over his shoulder to Sasuke's wardrobe. "Oh yea, you need more variety, man. One—"

"What were you doing in my _wardrobe_?"

"Ehehe.. Would you believe.. I forgot my laundry? No—one cup of ramen was missing and I thought you'd have taken it, you know, you being _you_."

Naruto was babbling now, picking and fidgeting with the loose threads of his orange jacket.

"Hey, Naruto – hey! Look at me." Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "What happened?"

"Well, would you believe it? This woman, this _old_ woman kicked me. And I let her." Naruto paused momentarily. "This girl, she's around Konohamaru's age, y'know? She was playing the lake and she suddenly went under and she was choking and everything, so I jumped in, see, and when I hauled her up, her mother grabbed her and started saying—things."

Naruto's hand dropped limply to his side, when a moment ago he had been gesturing enthusiastically to show his point. "She said she'd rather her daughter drown, and I swear, Sasuke, I _swear_ I wasn't going to hurt her or anything. Geez, Sasuke, you should clean your apartment more, y'know. All this dust is making my eyes water."

Naruto scrubbed at his eyes angrily. "So that's it. Her mother kicked me into the water, so I was wet and I had no dry clothes so I came here. I was dry when I went into your wardrobe, alright. I was already dry."

He stopped, as if tired, shoulders slumped. Sasuke felt his body relaxing, his face softening. He reached out and pulled Naruto to him.

"Naruto," he said hesitantly. "There are people – _idiots_ --- not the kind like you, of course. They live in the past. There are some that will never accept you. And you have to accept that. But think of everyone _else_, Naruto." He swallowed and patted Naruto on the head awkwardly, then continued in a small voice. "Think of me, okay? Andyes.. sorry for not cleaning my room."

"I lied," Naruto admitted, pulling away and letting go of Sasuke's shirt. "Your room's too clean. You're not normal."

Sasuke felt his lips stretching into a smile. "Right. I don't want this to happen again, alright? Next time it does, I get all your ramen."

Naruto pouted. "You're just scheming for my – hey! Wait—" He grabbed the front of Sasuke's shirt and began sniffing vigorously. "You've been to Ichiraku! And that new Ramen Palace!" He grabbed Sasuke's arm. "And Ramen World—ooh, they have jumbo bowls."

He continued until he was satisfied that he had sniffed and named all the places Sasuke had been too, before sitting back on his heels, clearly unhappy. "You didn't invite me," he said simply, before brightening. "You didn't buy any back, did you? I'm _starving_!"

Sasuke twitched.

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Author notes : Kishimoto owns. This is a first! Attempt at Sasunaru. : ) Hope you liked it. Hoped you had a good christmas. :D 


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Naruto, Humor