Harry Potter Thats My Boy

**Disclaimer** I don't own a thing, all belongs to JK.Rowling

**A/N** Based on a challenge over at challenge: Use this joke:

_"There was a nun teaching a class of 5 year olds.  
The nun said, "When we go to heaven, our soul goes to God first, and then our bodies. Does anyone know what part of our body goes to God first?"  
A little girl said "The hands go first. Because when we pray we put our hands together, and God takes our hands and pulls us up to heaven."  
The nun told the little girl that was a wonderful answer. There was a little boy who disagreed. He said he thought the legs went first. When the nun asked him why he thought that, he said "Last night, I heard noises in Mummy and Daddy's room. I went in there and Mummy had her legs up in the air and said 'Oh God, I'm coming', and if Daddy didn't jump on top of her she would have been gone! The nun fainted." _  


**And include –**

_Harry and Hermione's Son_

_He's in a church class because Mr. and Mrs. Granger wanted their grandson to experience the muggle religion_

_Don't go into detail on "mum w/ her legs up in the air" thing..._

_Instead of having the nun faint, have the nun contact Harry and Hermione and talk about their atrocius behavior in front of their child._

_H+H's boy can be either an only child or have siblings_

_Hermione is embarrassed, and Harry is enjoying his sons' mishap w/ the nuns._

_Harry says something along the lines to Hermione, 'That's my boy'.  
_

ENJOY!

* * *

Little James Potter sat at the back of the room yawning and running his hands through his messy black hair. He was bored. He hated Sundays. Sundays meant having to spend an hour in church with his Grandma and Grandpa Granger and then having to spend 2 hours talking about a man named God and feeding thousands of people with a loaf of bread and some fish. This wasn't his idea of fun. Fun was flying round with his daddy on broomsticks and watching his mum make all his toys dance round and listening to the adventures mummy, daddy and Uncle Ron use to have. He yawed again and brushed his un-tamed black hair out of his eyes. Looking up towards the front he noticed it was Sister Ann teaching them today. She was old, really old and he thought she smelt a bit like mummy's burnt macaroni and cheese. 

"When we go to heaven, our soul goes to God first, and then our bodies. Does anyone know what part of our body goes to God first?" she said in a boring, monotone voice. Several other children in the room put up their hands to answer her, James didn't.

"Jennifer" she said, pointing to her with her knobbly walking stick.

"The hands go first. Because when we pray we put our hands together, and God takes our hands and pulls us up to heaven." She answered, her blonde pig tails bouncing as she grinned delightedly.

"Yes, yes, wonderful answer Jennifer, a gold star for you" praised Sister Ann as she wrote Jennifer's answer on the chalkboard. James shook his head, _ that _ wasn't the answer! "Your wrong" he called out.

"Excuse me?" said Sister Ann, "Well James, what part of the body do you think goes to Heaven first?" she asked in a slightly mocking tone. It was well know James wasn't a favourite in the Sunday school classes, always having far fetched ideas about magic, games played in the sky and telling stories of 3-headed dogs.

"Well, everybody knows it's your legs that go up to God first….."

It was 2 o'clock. Harry and Hermione were waiting patiently outside the Church in their car for James to finish Sunday school. Hermione was sat in the passenger's seat, one hand holding a large book and the other holding a quill scribbling notes down rather rapidly. "Do you have to do that today? I thought we said no bringing work home anymore?" Asked Harry, leaning over to look at the pages on the book she was reading, it was covered in some ancient scripture he didn't recognise. Without looking away from what she was doing she replied, "That only applies to you after you brought one of those ankle biting garden gnomes home.."

"Well it stopped those cats from ruining your precious rose garden didn't it?"

"Well yes but it also chewed right through out Mail mans shoe…."

Sitting back into his chair he gave a quiet chuckle at the memory but was disrupted by a rather loud rapping noise on the car window. Looking out he saw Sister Ann and Father Jones standing there with a rather ashamed looking young James. Harry and Hermione immediately stepped out of the car, confused and slightly worried. What stories had their little boy been telling his class now? The last time he had been brought out like this it was because he insisted he could fly on the janitors broom, which he then proceeded to jump on and try and kick start.

"Sister, Father Jones" Harry said, acknowledging them.

"Mr. Potter, Mrs. Potter, could you please come inside" Said Father Jones, leading them in.

Once inside the office the pair both took a seat. "Mr. Potter, I must inform you that indecent behaviour paraded around a 5 year old boy is not acceptable…"

"Excuse me?" retorted a shocked Hermione.

"Mrs. Potter please, you cannot expect James to grow into a respectable young man when his home life is, well…indecent. I would ask and expect you and your husband to be more… _discreet _ when your son is around." Sister Ann who was looking rather pale then left the room with James leaving an open-mouthed Harry and Hermione. "Father…I don't understand" said a shocked Hermione.

"Well it appears your son has some…errmm…interesting views Mrs. Potter…."

Hermione pulled her coat tightly around her as they left the church, her face a deep scarlet and her hair looking wilder than ever, Harry however was laughing so much his sides were hurting and tears were falling down his face. "Harry this isn't funny!" scolded Hermione when they got back into the car, still highly embarrassed and ashamed. Harry turned to the back seat and ruffled a very confused James' hair, "That's my boy!" He roared with laughter. "Harry don't be praising him! That was so humiliating, you do know I can never show my face at another church fete? What will my mother and father think? Harry I just…I mean…Hmph!" She growled, her face slowing resembling a normal colour now.

"Oh c'mon Hermione, he's five, he doesn't know what he's taking about and I doubt any of the other kids new what he was on about" he said, breathing hard from the uncontrollable laugher. He placed a hand on her back and rubbed soothingly. "It was a pretty clever answer if you think about it!" he joked and fell back into another fit of laughter.

"Harry!" Hermione shouted, her face going crimson again and she started the car and pulled away from the church.

_Later on that evening… _

"…all the Sister asked was what part of the body goes to heaven first…"

"And he said WHAT?" Roared a laughing Ron followed by a giggly Luna.

"Last night, I heard noises in Mummy and Daddy's room….I went in there and…Mummy had her legs up in….the air and said…..'Oh God, I'm coming', …..and if….if.. Daddy didn't jump on top of her she…. would have been….been… _gone_!" Roared Harry through bursts of laughter and lack of breath. Hermione walked in rolling her eyes and looking flushed.

"Harry please! It's not something to be boasting about!"

"Oh come off it Hermione! The twins say stuff like that all the time, their just kids after all, don't understand half of what they say anyways" said a crying Ron.

Hermione gave up, she wasn't going to win. If she put aside the embarrassment of it all it was slightly amusing she thought. Next time though she would make sure her bedroom door was locked and more than one silencing charm was on it!

* * *

_Well that's it, crappy ending, might try to re-write the ending. Please review and thanks to GryFF1nd0rK for the inspiration!_


End file.

Harry Potter, Humor, Parody