Justice League Patronage

"What is this?"

Batman barged in while Superman was talking to Wonder Woman and Flash, but he didn't seem to notice any one else but the red cape. He wildly waved a bundle of paper into the air, clearly accusing their friend and colleague of something serious. Superman, however, did not seem to be affected by this approach.

"Batman, could this wait just three minutes?" But he didn't get to explain why before Batman stepped in between him and the others, loudly banging the stack of papers in the table next to them.

"77.8 million American dollars, you piece of-"

"Hey!" Wonder Woman said while grabbing Batman's shoulder. "There is no need for you to-"

"STAY OUT OF THIS!" Batman growled as loud as it was possible to do with your teeth clenched.

"Who the hell do you think I am, huh? Richie freaking Rich?" he continued uninterrupted. Flash tried to ease the mood: "Well… Technically, you are the most filthy rich person we know." Batman of course didn't dignify the comment with a response. He just raised a flat hand in front of Flash to make him stop talking.

Superman looked kind of baffled, but tried to regain some of his wits: "Could I perhaps see what you are yelling about before giving you a proper response?" Batman grabbed the piece of paper on top of the pile he had slammed into the table next to them and showed it into Superman's face.

"77.8 million dollars' worth of property you destroyed! 77.8! And that is just the buildings NOT covered by insurance…"

Superman looked at the note, finally understanding what this was all about. As soon as Batman saw an expression of regret spreading across Superman's face, he seemed to calm down a little.

"What the hell _were_ you thinking?" And this time, he actually waited for an answer.

After the deaf-making silence had filled up the entire room for 10-15 seconds, Flash slowly backed towards the door. "I think this is more, like, trinity stuff, wouldn't you say?" He grabbed madly for the doorknob behind his back. "I'll just… let myself out… Close the door… Give you all some privacy."

After the door closed and locked, Batman pulled up a chair and sat down facing Superman. He actually pulled his cowl back, something he usually only did in his own quarters while in the headquarters of the Justice League. He then rubbed his closed eyes with his left thumb and index finger.

"Clark, goddammit…"

"What is going on?" Wonder Woman demanded to know.

"Look" Superman began, "I was battling Doomsday, and I-"

"I don't care if the entire Apokolips were boom tubed down to Metropolis. We have talked about this!" Batman was more calm, but still extremely frustrated and angry with Earth's mightiest hero.

"Property damage is part of the game. You said so yourself!" Superman tried.

"That was before our country went into the greatest financial crisis since the depression. Many insurance companies won't even cover this sort of thing anymore."

"Can they just do that?" Wonder Woman asked angrily. She had never quite understood why people in the world of man didn't just share all they had. That way, no one ever needed anything.

"They have categorized it under 'an act of God'." Bruce explained while making an up-giving hand gesture, indirectly pointing at Superman. "And I can't cover this sort of amount from my investors. They would sense that too much money is vanishing from under their radar – which is absolutely correct… If I withdraw an amount this size, they will know for sure that something is going on."

"Can't you take it out of your private budget?" Clark tried. "I mean. You were able to build and equip a whole cave."

"Over time, Clark. And a lot of my equipment comes from different sectors of Wayne Industries. The cave is basically just a storage room for my company's experimental departments."

Bruce shook his head while looking at the stack of papers. "I honestly don't know what to do with this. I mean, I can pay it – but not without anyone noticing. Not without risking they find out about me, about us..."

All three heroes were silent for a moment: Superman looked down in shame, Batman shook his head in apathy. But Wonder Woman was pondering something.

"What if we didn't cover all of the losses?" Clark tried. "We technically never promised anyone anything."

"Businesses will have to close and people will have to live on the street, because you couldn't bother to be more careful. Could you live with that?" Superman couldn't return the look Batman sent him, leading him to his true conclusion: "Yeah, that's what I thought."

After another moment of silence, Wonder Woman lit up: "There is one thing we could try". She smiled like a woman with a plan, and Superman all too quickly knew what she was thinking. He immediately began shaking his head in silence, biting his lip.

"What?" Bruce asked, as he pulled back up the cowl. Wonder Woman continued to smile.

"No. Absolutely not! We tried that once, and we agreed that it would be better if Bruce Wayne took care of it from now on." Superman sputtered out.

"What?" Batman asked Wonder Woman, turning his back to his frustrated friend. "Diana, what are you thinking?"

"We once got a rather large donation from Oliver Queen." She said with that same smile. Batman turned around to face Superman. He had a grin similar to Diana's painted upon the visible part of his face.

"And why do you not like the idea of involving another billionaire in this? I promise not to get jealous." Batman even made a joke, uplifted by knowing that it would all be sorted out.

"Great – NOW you choose to get a sense of humor?" Superman remarked, but that didn't make him owe Batman any less of an explanation.

"Oliver mocked us for weeks after he donated that amount." Superman finally admitted. "He kept saying things like – 'Not so super now, ey payroll?'. 'Hey S. Want me to get you some coffee? Don't worry – I'll pay!'. It was terrible!"

Batman, who had kept his crooked smile in place the whole time, turned around and walked towards the door. The case was closed and the problem solved as far as he was considered.

"Tell Queen to arrange a meeting with Wayne as soon as he gets the chance. It sounds like he is the type of man who would love to partake in this sort of patronage."


End file.

Justice League, Humor