Mass Effect 1. Chapter 1

**This is the first fan fiction I've ever written. Do the internet a favor and provide some kind of feedback. I might make more you see. So helping make it less terrible is in the best interests of everyone.**

--

Tali'Zorah vas Neema hadn't been the same since her pilgrimage.

Normally that was the point. It was as much about a coming of age, seeing the galaxy and shedding naivete as it was about maintaining genetic diversity. But a quarian was supposed to come home with a very specific outlook. Out in the galaxy quarians were looked down on by all the other species. Even vorcha gave them less respect than they gave other races, not that it was saying much. After being shunned, rejected, ostracized and mistreated by the trillions of aliens who didn't even try to see past their visors, a quarian was supposed to be eager to return to the fleet. Back to a community that didn't despise them simply because of their race.

At first that's how it had been for Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. She'd had the usual hard time finding work, forced to scavenge and scrounge for anything she could get her hands on to get by. The added pressure to find an excellent gift due to her fathers position, mixed with a bit of curiosity, had even driven her to investigate the geth once word reached her that they had left the Veil. Stalking them until she could pick off a straggler and hack its memory core. This seemed like a change in luck at first, as while the information she gathered wouldn't be enough for a gift, she had learned enough of galactic society to realize that it would be worth a lot of credits to someone.

Her new found luck evaporated fast however as she realized she was being hunted. Not by geth but by mercs. Somehow Saren must have known about her. The Spectres were dangerous enough when they were following council orders. Stories of their power and influence had reached even the introverted Migrant Fleet. The idea of being on the bad side of a rouge Spectre was positively terrifying for the young woman.

C-Sec was no help of course. They were more interested in persecuting her for being a quarian than in her fearing for her life. This complete disinterest on the part of law enforcement pushed her into the less reputable areas of the Citadels wards. She hoped to be able to throw off pursuit in the crowds

_ Keelah, don't let them see me..._ Tali thought desperately, pressing herself into a shallow alcove. A couple of turians were sweeping the market, hands hovering by their pistols. As quietly as possible she triggered the mute function on her mouthpiece. The last thing she needed was to be caught because of a stubbed toe making her gasp.

The crowds of shoppers continued right by the frightened girl as though she were as unimportant as the ubiquitous Keepers. The only signs of anyone noticing her were cursory checks on their credit chits and jewelry. Because of course, quarians were all shameless thieves to them. _If they'd let us get real jobs I wouldn't be hiding from assassins right now. Racist bosh'tets._

The turians seemed to be moving on. As soon as they were out of sight she made her move. Walking quickly along the wall she darted past the crowd of shoppers and out of the market. Immediately she realized this was a bad idea. The hall was empty, no cover of any sort in reach. _Tali you_ _idiot! The whole point was to hide in the crowds, get out of here now!_

Tali made a dash for the stairs, making it up two flights before coming face to face with a salarian. An armed salarian. A smirk spread over his narrow face as he reached for a shotgun. Tali ducked on reflex, forcing the salarian to re-aim his shot. She reached for her own shotgun but grasped only air. It took her half a second to remember that C-Sec had taken her weapons at customs, providing only halfhearted promises to return them when she left. Panicking as the weapon leveled with her chest, she grabbed at the salarians arm and pulled. They both fell to the floor, rolling down the stairs to the closest landing. She'd managed to keep her grip and began slamming her attackers gun hand into the floor repeatedly. A satisfying snap and pained yelp resulted, followed by the shotgun skidding across the floor.

"You little bitch! I'll make you-"

Tali dove for the weapon, snatching it up and twisting on the floor to level it at the assassins face. The salarian froze, halfway to his feet. In another time and place the awkward position might have been funny. Tali slowly got to her feet, backing away warily, her head flicking back and forth between the stairs and the assassin. Once she was near the top she turned and ran for it. Rounding the top of the stairwell, slipping slightly on the smooth deck plates.

The salarian bounded up the stairs 4 at a time, drawing a pistol with his uninjured hand and spinning to train it on the retreating quarians back. Waiting those agonizing milliseconds for the weapons smart targeting to calibrate the next shot before pulling the trigger.

It was lucky for Tali that he didn't usually shoot left handed.

The modded ammo was hindered by her low-end shields, but not enough to stop it or deflect it entirely. Instead of hitting her in the back it struck her arm.

Tali cried out at the impact, her voice just audible even with the mute on. Her pace faltered as the pain shot through her arm. The envriosuit automatically clamping down the adjacent section seals in an effort to contain surface contamination, a breach alarm sounding in her ears. Regaining her footing she slipped around the corner before the salarian could get another hit.

Grimacing in frustration the salarian charged after her, rounding the corner only to run straight into the side of a passing elcor.

"Shocked and annoyed: Watch where you are going salarian," the massive being rumbled in the characteristic monotone of it's species. Cursing, the salarian scrambled to his feet and stepped around the elcor staring out into a crowd of human, volus and elcor shoppers. The quarian was nowhere in sight.

_ I need to get this treated fast! It's only a matter of time until an infection sets in. If I'm too far from a clinic I'm in serious trouble. If these bosh'tets would let me earn some money I wouldn't be out of medigel. This whole thing is turning into a nightmare..._ Tali looked back, seeing no sign of any of the assassins that had been hounding her. She hurriedly holstered the shotgun and powered her omnitool, wincing at the pain that flared up with even the slightest movement. _There has to be a clinic around here somewhere, _she thought frantically, punching the search request into the tools local network linkup. A map of the district popped into existence, a flashing indicator pointing out a clinic just a few doors down. Tali closed the display and made for the clinic as fast as she could without drawing too much attention, gripping her arm in an attempt to slow the bleeding.

_ There it is, thank the ancestors! I just hope the doctor isn't going to refuse treatment to a quarian.. It seems to be a way of life on this damn station, _she thought bitterly as the door came into sight. It opened promptly at her approach and she stepped inside nervously, deactivating the mute function.

"E-excuse me? Is this the medical clinic?" She asked, clenching her teeth to hold back a groan of pain. She saw the alien doctor look up from a computer terminal. Tali hadn't met this species yet beyond glimpses while fleeing from assassins. _So, is that a human? They didn't really tell me much about them before my pilgrimage started. A female I think from her appearance._

"Yes, I'm Doctor Michel, is something, my god..." the doctor said at once her eyes falling on the blood seeping from between the quarians fingers. "Come over here, sit down." she said her tone all business, "Let me take a look at that before it gets infected."

Tali let out a sigh of relief moving to the indicated medical bed, "Thank you." she said gratefully, dropping onto the bed.

Doctor Michel wasted no time in activating her diagnostic and treatment apparatus. She let a full scan run as she set to cleaning and sterilizing the area. The scan results correlated the data into a diagnosis, a graze from a mass accelerator round.

"This is a gun shot wound, what happened to you?" she asked incredulously. The idea of a quarian risking a fight with their atrophied immune systems was crazy.

"I-I can't say." Tali stammered, "I'm not going to drag anyone else into my problems"

Tali remained tight-lipped as the doctor treated and bandaged the injury as quickly and cleanly as possible. After checking the quarians section seals she cleaned up the ragged edges of the breach and started working on patching the suit.

"You're lucky I've treated quarians before. Always keep some patches around just in case. As well as extra strength antibiotics." Doctor Michel commented. "Once this patch is done I'll give you a couple doses and some spares for the road along with a little medigel, alright?"

"Thank you doctor." Tali was surprised at this humans kindness towards a quarian. _I guess humans are new comers. Maybe they're more tolerant of my people. For now at least. Maybe I should have gone to human space._ "You're the first person I've met willing to help a quarian."

"I set up this clinic to help people." the doctor replied in a friendly tone, "it doesn't matter to me what race you are." she finished, prepping an injection. "I dare say you already know about the side effects?" the doctor asked holding the injector out. Tali nodded her confirmation and opened her suits injection port. As the antibiotics flooded her system Tali was finally able to relax a little. She glanced at the doctor, weighing the risks of asking for further help. _What the hell,_ she thought ruefully, _it's going to get worse eventually. May as well be while I'm still full of medication._

"Doctor....You wouldn't happen to know where I could make a trade, would you?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Consensus seems to be that I should continue uploading things. Thank you for the reviews (and rather surprising favorites) thus far, though I'd like to ask for future reviews as I continue to add material. Particularly on this one. I'm not really happy with it and may end up removing it entirely. ...Assuming that's possible. Burn that bridge when I come to it.  
**

**Oh and in response to a plea not to give my Shepard a silly name, the name Julian is the one on the game file so I'll probably stick with that. On with the show.**

**Edit: Due to a good point about Shepard having the worlds slowest shield recharge this part had been sloppily edited.  
**

* * *

The door to the main area of Chora's den slid open normally as Shepard hit the control. This was quickly followed by a barrage of gunfire from half a dozen mercenaries, all of whom seemed to have a clear shot at Commander Shepard. His shields managed to deflect the onslaught long enough for him to side step into cover. His back to the wall next to the door as he drew his pistol. Garrus and Wrex ducked behind a convenient crate for cover a meter or so back.

_I don't have time for this! If I don't get to that quarian before Fist's thugs get her, we're all screwed. The Council won't lift a finger without evidence. We have to take them out fast. _At that thought Shepard clenched his left fist, flexing his muscles in well trained patterns, a dark energy field beginning to distort his appearance. He swung out of cover, miming a forceful shove at the nearest attacker. A mass effect field promptly lifted the target off his feet and flung him head first against the far wall. A sickening snap indicated that his neck hadn't survived the trip. The sudden biotic display caught the rest of the thugs off guard, making them hesitate for a second. This was all the time it took to establish an offensive.

Without waiting for orders Wrex charged. A nearby merc found the crate that had formally been protecting him crushing his lower body as Wrex barreled into it. Wrex simply aimed his shotgun in the general direction of the pinned merc and fired, at the same biotically hoisting another victim into the air and into Shepard's line of fire. Not waiting to see the results, he moved to the next merc, amused at her attempt to hold her ground. Assault rifle rounds turned Wrex's shields into a fireworks display but did nothing to slow the juggernaut of a krogan. In contrast, a single shotgun blast to the chest was all it took to stop the human mercenary.

Garrus rose above cover and peered though his scope. He could just make out a mercs head protruding from cover. Garrus pulled the trigger, dropping the enemies shields with a single shot. The residual force of the impact sent the target to the deck, clear of cover. Garrus quickly dispatched him with a second pull of the trigger. He watched Wrex at work for a second, admiring the krogans tenacity in spite of himself, before getting a fix on his next target. Another quick trigger pull later and this final merc fell with a satisfying thud. He powered his omnitool and swept it over the room, mandibles spreading in a smile at the results.

"Looks like we're clear, Shepard," Garrus announced, rising from cover and collapsing his rifle. They needed to move fast and the long barrel would just get in the way.

"We've got to keep moving. That quarian will be walking into that trap any second now," Shepard replied, holstering his pistol as he sprinted to the exit from the ruined bar.

A moment later the trio was running through the dimly lit corridors as fast as their legs could carry them. Shepard taking point with Garrus bringing up the rear. Shepard briefly considered calling Alenko and Williams back into the fray. He'd sent them back to the embassy earlier figuring that three heavily armed people was suspicious enough and that five would probably have bought in half the C-Sec officers in the district to investigate. He'd kept Garrus for his knowledge of the Citadel and Wrex seeing as the bounty hunter was after Fist already.

_That bastard Fist had to start working for Saren. If he'd still been working for the Shadow Broker we might have had a shot at just buying the data. Then Wrex wouldn't be involved._ Shepard glanced back at the lumbering krogan. _Why the hell is he still here anyway? He already killed Fist, his job is done. It's not like a merc to fight for free. Then again, he's krogan. Maybe he just wants to fight today. I'm not exactly inclined to turn down the help. Besides he could break me in half if he wanted to, so it's probably smarter to just let him do what he wants._

_At least I know what Vakarian is doing here. He wants to take Saren down almost as much as I do. I think I can trust him at least that far. He's definitely hot headed, but he's also a great shot and seems to have a solid grasp of tactics. He might be useful later on if he's interested. Course, the Alliance brass might not be too happy about working with a turian. They certainly wouldn't approve of Wrex. Cross that bridge when we come to it._

Shepard raised a hand as they approached the site of Fist's trap, indicating a slower pace. A short flight of stairs and a mercifully unlocked door later and Shepard could tell why this was the chosen site. _Only two doors and no witnesses. A decent ambush spot. I guess Fist wasn't a complete idiot after all._ The dull red lights cast a foreboding mood over the hall as Shepard's squad approached quietly. Shepard could just make out voices ahead, though not clearly enough to glean any information. He advanced as stealthily as combat armor allowed, drawing his sniper rifle. Garrus followed suit while Wrex pulled an assault rifle.

"They'll be here. Where's the evidence?" _Sounds like a turian. Probably one of the assassins._

"No way. The deal's off!" _Female, synthesized tone...must be the quarian._

Sure enough the scene came into view, a solitary quarian female backing away from a turian. A pair of helmeted salarians were advancing on her, training their pistols on their would be victim. The quarian drew something from her pocket and flung it towards the salarians, then made for cover. An abrupt explosion knocked the salarians off their feet, drastically weakening their shields in the process. The turian had stayed clear of the blast, and was drawing an assault rifle while striding to the quarians cover.

Shepard raised his rifle, not having time to scope in his target. _A miss will still get his attention,_ he thought as he pulled the trigger. The shot was perfect, aimed straight for the assassins head. However this one had invested in better shielding than his comrades. The mass effect field flared brightly, but held. The turian uttered some untranslatable curses, spinning to aim at Shepard instead. By now the salarians were upright again and opening fire. The rapid fire of the modded assault rifle wreaked havoc on Shepard's shields, forcing him to pull back and crouch behind a convenient crate.

_Why are there always crates? It's helpful, but who do they belong to?_

Garrus dropped to one knee and got the left salarian in scope. The assassins battered shields were in no shape to stop the bullet. The helmet didn't fare much better, green blood spraying the wall before the body slumped the the floor. The second salarian was just as unlucky as Wrex's assault rifle destroyed what was left of his shielding. As though she'd been waiting for this cue, the quarian reached out around the side of her protective crate and fired her shotgun. The salarian dropped at once, the front of his armor, and presumably body, mangled by the blast.

The turian took his chance, apparently choosing death before failure as he put his gun to the quarians head. He never got the opportunity to make the kill as his feet left the floor, his body being pushed by a powerful surge of dark energy until he was pinned to the wall. At the top of the stairs the turian saw the source of the attack: an armored human surrounded by a fading blue glow, leveling a military sniper rifle at his head.

"Oh shi-"


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's the third chapter of my little fiction here. It was going to be the same length as the previous two, but it ended up raging out of control. Not much action going on, but more dialog which I'm inexperienced with. Reviews are appreciated, but no need to go out of your way. There were a couple questions as to my target audience. To be honest, I have no idea. I guess I'm assuming the reader has played Mass Effect 1 and 2. Beyond that I'm just writing what comes into my head without any regards to others. Besides fixing issues pointed out in reviews. Probably an issue I'm guessing. Oh well.**

**I guess I won't get rid of the previous chapter after all. Anyway, enjoy.**

**

* * *

**

Tali had no idea who the ones attacking the assassins were and at the moment she didn't care. _I can sort that out once I'm out of this situation._ When the turian assassin had been about to attack her one of the newcomers had hit him first. His shields had saved him but it gave Tali some breathing space. She drew and expanded the stolen shotgun listening for a cue to open fire.

The sound of a second sniper shot was followed by a thud. _That's one of them. Two left now.._ she thought, edging closer to the end of the crate she'd taken as cover. Assault rifle fire roaring from both ends of the dim hallway as she waited, trying to keep her mind level. The sounds of the impacts changed suddenly, some losing the characteristic sound of mass effect distortions. One of them had lost shields, probably a salarian. _I hope I'm right,_ she thought grimly as she reached out and opened fire. The salarian had gotten much closer to her cover than she'd expected, the near point blank shot shredded the front side of his armor in a spray of shrapnel and blood. Tali winced at the sight, hoping the salarian had died quickly.

_Two down, just that turian.._ She turned her head to look for him and felt a tap on her helmet. Her eyes snapped to the side and ended up staring down the barrel of an assault rifle. _Keelah... I'm sorry to let you down father..._ She felt herself go numb as the certainty of her impending death sank in.

The turians teeth were clenched, a vicious look in his eyes, Tali watched him start to pull the trigger... and then watched a blue light sweep over him. The shimmering aura carrying the shocked assassin down the hall until it pinned him to the far wall. Tali's head snapped around looking for the source of the mass effect field. A human was standing at the top of the stairs, his body still enveloped in the distinctive distortions of a biotic. He raised his sniper rifle like it was made of lightweight plastic, scoped in his target and fired in about a second flat.

"Oh, shi-" was all the turian had time to say before it was all over. Tali stood slowly, trying to assess the new situation. They had just saved her life, but she had no idea what they wanted. For all she knew they could just be planning to take the information she had and then kill her themselves. She looked at the krogan,_ I bet he would. From what I'm told krogan are simply violent by nature._ Her eyes passed over the turian next, _and that one looks like a C-Sec officer. I doubt any of them would step up to help a quarian._

The human was stepping forward now, the way he carried himself and the way the other two fell in behind him..._He must be the leader. He doesn't look like a murderer... kind of handsome for an alien actually. I suppose it's possible he just wanted to help.. Keelah what am I thinking about!_, Tali shook herself to clear her thoughts. _I think I've seen that insignia on the extranet...something to do with human soldiers...of course! He must be after the data because of Saren! Eden Prime was their colony, they want it as evidence... And he did save my life after all. From that back stabbing bosh'tet Fist!_

"Fist set me up, I knew I couldn't trust him!" she said aloud as her anger briefly got the better of her.

"Were you hurt in the fight?" Shepard asked at once, collapsing and holstering his sniper rifle, his squad doing the same behind him.

_He reminds me of that doctor a bit, like he actually cares if I've been injured, _Tali thought. Still, she was wary. After being betrayed by Fist she was reluctant to take anyone at face value, no matter how they seemed. "I know how to look after myself." Tali replied, "Not that I don't appreciate the help." she added quickly, not wanting to seem ungrateful, "Who are you?"

The human smiled a bit as he replied, "My name's Shepard," his voice then took a more business like tone, "I'm looking for evidence to prove Saren's a traitor."

"Then I have a chance to repay you for saving my life," _He does seem friendly enough.. but there could be more assassins around, _"But not here. We need to go somewhere safe."

The turian spoke up, "We could take her to the human embassy. Your ambassador will want to see this anyway."

Shepard nodded at that and gestured to the near door. Tali fell in behind him, staying closer to him rather than the turian and krogan as they headed back out into the markets. "By the way," the human said after a moment, "what is your name, miss..?"

"Oh, I'm Tali'Zorah nar Rayya," Tali said at once, a bit embarrassed at having neglected to introduce herself. _I must have seemed rude, leaving out something like that._

Shepard paused and extended his hand to her, "A pleasure to meet you, Miss Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."

Tali blinked at the extended hand for a moment before reaching out to take it, _Five fingers, like an asari or a batarian. Seems a bit excessive really._ They shook hands, Tali wincing slightly at the strength of his grip even through her suit. Shepard seemed to notice and quickly released her hand before motioning that they should continue. _Perhaps my luck is changing again._

Tali noticed them drawing a lot of mixed reactions as they passed. She guessed that the krogan was the reason everyone got out of their way, and that she was the trigger for the disdainful looks. Tali cast a glance over this Shepard as they walked. _He doesn't even seem to care how they're looking at him. At least I don't think so. _Tali frowned behind her mask as she considered his expression, _It's been years since I saw even another quarians facial expressions. The crash course I got before my pilgrimage helped but this is going to take practice._

"Hey, Commander," the turian said as they neared an elevator.

"Something up, Garrus?" Shepard inquired, stopping and turning to face him.

_Garrus. I'll have to remember that. Also, Shepard is a commander. I should probably refer to him by rank. _Tali stopped beside Shepard and shifted her focus to the turian.

"I know how important it is that we get up to the Presidium, but there's a problem," Garrus continued evenly. "These two don't have C-Sec's clearance to go up there. We'll have to go through the academy to get them cleared. It's the nearest C-Sec station in the area."

Shepard frowned at this but nodded before turning the krogan. "You know, Wrex, you killed Fist so your job is done. Why did you keep helping us?"

The krogan shrugged, "Felt like a fight. And I've been around long enough to see where things are going. I have a feeling you'll be going after Saren. Sounds like it'd be one hell of a fight. I like to be where the action is." Shepard nodded at this, seemingly satisfied.

Tali watched Wrex uneasily as he spoke. _Fist is dead? This krogan took him out? Not that Fist didn't have it coming. I have a bad feeling about Wrex though. Krogan are violent and very strong. This Commander seems tough but I wonder if he could really take out this Wrex if he had to._

"Don't even bother asking," Garrus said as the Commander turned back to him, "You know how I feel about Saren. I won't be satisfied until I drag that traitor in by his fringe. Or kill him trying." _Alright, not trusting him either._ Tali eyed him warily, sizing him up. _What kind of man is this Commander that he works with such people?_

"We should try to take him alive, Garrus. We'll need to question him you know," Shepard replied, fixing Garrus with a stern look. _Green eyes. So strange seeing eyes that don't glow or reflect. None of the other species seem to have that. It's still a bit unnerving. Like a dead quarians eyes._ Tali tried to force that thought aside, _It's just biology. Nothing to dwell on. Why am I even looking at his eyes in the first place?_

"Yeah well...we'll see how it goes at the time, Commander," Garrus replied mandibles twitching in some unreadable turian expression, "Anyway, we should get moving. C-Sec will try to strangle us in red tape. The sooner we start the better."

Growing up with her father as an Admiral had made Tali accustomed to the bureaucratic runarounds the fleet encountered when passing through inhabited space. She'd heard enough stories about rules and regulations to have an idea of what to do with them. "You said something about seeing an ambassador before. Why not call him to get things sped up?" she suggested.

Garrus seemed to think about that for a second before nodding. "Not a bad idea. Krogan and quarians aren't exactly popular guests up on the presidium. But if we can get it set as an official meeting with the ambassador, marked as an emergency consultation, it might get them to not drag their feet for a change."

"Sounds good," Shepard said with an approving nod to Tali. She felt her spirits rise a bit too much at that. _Don't be stupid Tali, _she chided herself. _What is getting into me today? Must be the fever from that injury. In which case it'd be an army of bacteria that got into me. I'm just glad it was a minor reaction this time, _she mused, remembering a time when she'd been laid out for a week after a much smaller breach.

_Oh great, another trip on these elevators. With three heavily armed, strangers. On my way to a police department that would throw me off the station if given an excuse. This isn't my day, _Tali thought as the door slid shut and the elevator music started up. The elevator began it's slow rise to the Academy. Wrex and Garrus stood quietly while the Commander finished sending his message to his superiors. Tali leaned against the wall, crossing her arms. As her back made contact with the smooth metal she felt the shotgun holstered there. _I wonder what happened to that salarian...oh keelah._

"Excuse me, Commander?" Tali said stepping forward nervously once he'd powered down his omnitool display, "I just remembered. That wasn't the first group of assassins I fought..."

"I know", Shepard said calmly, "Dr. Michel told us about you being shot."

"Oh. Well, the thing is they confiscated my weapons at C-Sec and.."

"You want help getting them back?"

"No, well, yes. I mean, that's not what I meant," Tali continued nervously, "It's just that I got this shotgun off a salarian assassin when he attacked me. So it's technically stolen property," Tali was starting to wring her hands as her uncertainty grew, "My people have a reputation as being...well, thieves. One we don't deserve by the way," she added shooting a look at Garrus, "What I mean is, I'm not supposed to have a gun. If they see me with one they'll assume I stole it and they'd find out and-"

"Garrus, suggestions?" Shepard said at once, his voice taking on a commanding tone.

"You got it off an assassin? Any modifications on it?" Tali nodded, she'd found quite a few alterations in place designed to make the low end weapon as lethal as possible. "Give it to me then. I can turn it in as evidence along with my report on all this." Garrus said confidently. "Give them a new weapon smuggling ring for you to take down, Commander," he finished, sounding amused.

Tali, unhooked the weapon at once and handed it over as Shepard responded, "Heard about that huh? Well, Chellick can take care of this one himself. As long as he doesn't drag any more waitresses into it," sounding equally amused by whatever story they were referencing. _Sounds like this Commander has been busy during his mission here. Taking down a smuggling ring on the side? How long has he been on the Citadel?_

The elevator finally came to a halt at the academy, the door sliding open to let them emerge. Every officer in the place tensed up as they saw Wrex, and a few hands started drifting to weapons. Unfazed, Shepard simply strode right up to the guard by the Presidium access. "I'm Commander Shepard. We need to get upstairs."

The turian guard looked over the group, a hint of contempt in his voice as he spoke, "The orders from your ambassador were passed to me. You've all been given permission to access the presidium. However, Commander Shepard, you are being held personally responsible for any and all property damage, injuries, deaths or thefts," his eyes lingered on Tali and Wrex for a moment as he said this, "that you or any of those with you, with the exception of Vakarian, cause or commit during their time on the Presidium."

Shepard had tensed up at the xenophobic overtones on the guard's speech but seemed to think better of causing an incident. "Understood." he said simply, stepping into the second elevator. Tali felt her respect for the commander increasing as she and the others fell into place behind him, bracing themselves for another ride with that infernal music. _He really doesn't seem like such a bad person, no matter what company he's keeping._


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, I need to post this thing before it gets any longer. Every time I make a revision pass it gets bigger, so I must stop before it undergoes gravitational collapse and becomes a text based singularity. This one is completely devoid of action. (Coincidentally also how I could describe myself if I were a hanar.) I also cut out a good bit of the game's dialog in favor of doing whatever it is I did. **

**Reviews are always welcome, especially if you see an error or something just doesn't make sense/not suck. Thanks to everyone for the feedback thus far.**

**Anyway, chapter 4. Read, enjoy/hate. Maybe things will happen in the next one.  
**

* * *

At long last the elevator reached the presidium. The doors opening to the bright light that flooded the area. Tali was awestruck by the view before her, scarcely able to believe she was on a space station. There were trees, grass, flowers, a bright blue sky and a massive lake that seemed to stretch to the "horizon" of the ring shaped area. Tali couldn't even imagine the resources needed to maintain something like this. The Migrant Fleets massive liveships didn't even compare to the Presidium. They were crammed full of food crops beyond the original maximum capacity. Cramped and functional like every ship in the Flotilla despite their size. But the Presidium was an open park.

She tried to keep up with the Commander while examining every detail of her surroundings. As beautiful as the Presidium was, she couldn't shake a certain discomfort. Tali tried to put her finger on it as she looked out over the empty lake. _It's so empty up here...Where is everyone?_ That was it, she realized as she stared at the still waters. She had only seen a handful of people up here. Compared the the fleet and the wards it was as if 90% of the people were missing. The few that were there represented the galaxy's upper ranks.

Tali noticed the few people around the embassies casting frightened looks at Wrex as they approached. More than a few started whispering to each other, some of them even pointing at Tali. She had a fair guess what they were saying. She'd heard an asari once claim that quarians would steal anything that wasn't bolted down or on fire. _So much for asari neutrality_, she thought, trying to shrug off the looks of the various well to do aliens. _I wonder if they'll even consider my evidence with their prejudice?_

Shepard lead the way to the human embassy, paying no heed to the gawking onlookers. The doors slid open and Tali found herself in shock once again. _This much space? For ONE persons office?_ Everything in Tali's upbringing told her that to use resources in such a cavalier manner was nothing short of criminal. _We spend our lives scavenging for materials and here they are throwing them around like it's nothing!_ Tali tried her best to keep her composure, knowing that they couldn't understand how she saw all this wasteful luxury. Or just how much she envied them.

A gray haired human in a formal outfit was waiting there, his back to them. Another human with much darker skin stood off to the side wearing what looked like an Alliance uniform. A pair of armored humans were leaning out on a balcony railing, though they snapped to attention when the Commander entered.

"You're not making my life easy, Shepard. Firefights in the Wards? An all-out assault on Chora's den?" the gray haired man said, turning around to face them as he went on, "Do you know how many-" he stopped as he saw Tali standing by the Commander. "Who's this? A quarian? What are you up to, Shepard?"

"Making your day, Ambassador," Shepard replied at once. "She has information linking Saren to the geth."

"Really?" the Ambassador said, his demeanor changing at once, taking on a more polite tone, "Maybe you'd better start at the beginning, Miss...?"

"My name is Tali. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya," she said, looking over the new faces as confidently as she could manage.

"We don't see many quarians here. Why did you leave the Flotilla?" the Ambassador inquired. Tali glanced at Shepard, considering how to respond. _No need to invent anything. Besides,_ she thought turning back to the Ambassador, _maybe I can fix some misconceptions._

–

"No matter what they think about the rest of this, those audio files prove Saren's a traitor!" the Alliance officer said, his excitement clearly building.

"The captain's right." the Ambassador conceded, "We need to present this to the council right away."

"What about her?" Garrus asked, gesturing to Tali, "The quarian."

Tali glared at him through her mask, "My name is Tali!" She couldn't help but be irritated at the turians attitude. She turned to the Commander before continuing, "You saw me in the alley, Commander. You know what I can do. Let me come with you."

"I thought you were on your Pilgrimage?" Shepard replied, looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

"The Pilgrimage proves we are willing to give of ourselves for the greater good. What does it say about me if I turn my back on this?" _Besides, I doubt the geth will stop short of attacking the Flotilla. __They probably want us dead as much as we want them dead. _"Saren is a danger to the entire galaxy. My Pilgrimage can wait."

Shepard gave her an appraising look before nodding. "I'll take all the help I can get."

Tali felt her heart leap at that. "Thanks." she said, moving back to stand with the rest of his team, "You wont regret this." _Now I can have a chance to truly repay him for saving my life. Who knows, I might get to return the favor._

"Anderson and I will go ahead to get things ready with the Council. Take a few minutes to collect yourself, then meet us in the Tower."

–

_Why isn't the Council listening to them? Even with the geth attacking organics they still wont act against them. The Council should just let the Commander track Saren down. Then they wont have to risk their damned necks, _Tali thought angrily. She'd only just met the Commander, but she knew he deserved better than what he was getting right now. The Commander and Ambassador Udina had apparently also reached the end of their patience.

"Every time humanity asks for help, you ignore us!" Shepard said accusingly.

"Shepard's right, I'm sick of this Council and it's anti human bull-"

The asari councilor cut him off at once raising her hands as she spoke, "Ambassador! There is another solution. A way to stop Saren that does not require fleets or armies," she looked at the turian as she finished.

"No! It's too soon. Humanity is not ready for the responsibilities that come with joining the Spectres" he almost shouted, his anger evident.

"You don't have to send a fleet into the Traverse, and the Ambassador gets his human Spectre," the Commander countered, "Everybody's happy."

The salarian and asari both turned to their turian colleague. After a long moment he nodded his assent. The trio placed their votes into their terminals and returned their attention to the Commander. "Commander Shepard - step forward."

The Commander hesitated, looking to the Captain for confirmation. Anderson nodded, a smile slowly working its way over his face. The Commander stepped forward, noticing the crowd that was gathering in the upper balconies.

"It is the decision of the Council that you be granted all the powers and privileges of the Special Tactics and Reconnaissance branch of the Citadel," the asari announced in her ever level voice.

"Spectres are not trained, but chosen. Individuals forged in the fires of service and battle, those whose actions elevate them above the rank and file," the salarian continued, folding his arms across his chest.

"Spectres are an ideal, a symbol." the asari resumed, "The embodiment of courage, determination, and self-reliance. They are the right hand of the Council, instruments of our will."

The turian finally spoke despite his disapproval of the appointment, "Spectres bear a great burden. They are protectors of galactic peace, both our first and last line of defense. The safety of the galaxy is theirs to uphold."

"You are the first human Spectre, Commander. This is a great accomplishment for you and your entire species," the asari finished.

Shepard bowed his head respectfully at this, "I'm honored Councilor." _After all the bickering and ignoring evidence he still treats them with respect. I'm not sure I'd be so well behaved, _Tali mused as she watched the scene unfold. _Still, at least they're doing something._

"We're sending you into the Traverse after Saren. He's a fugitive from justice, so you are authorized to use any means necessary to apprehend or eliminate him," the salarian instructed.

"Any idea where to find him?" Shepard asked promptly before the Council could adjourn.

"We will forward any relevant files to Ambassador Udina," the turian replied.

"This meeting of the Council is adjourned."

–

The elevator doors opened, after what seemed like an eternity, to the docking bay housing the Normandy. Tali followed the others out, eager to see the ship she'd heard so much about on the way there. All she knew was that it was a frigate that had been co-developed by the humans and turians. And it had some kind of advanced stealth system. Nobody had told Tali what it looked like.

_Keelah... she's beautiful!_ Tali thought, her excitement building rapidly. _Such a clean, perfect hull! No patches or dents or anything. It's nothing like the Flotillas ships. I can't wait to get a look at its interior. If it's half as perfect as the exterior though..._

With a start Tali realized she was being left behind and had to run to catch up. Luckily the Commander had stopped and was speaking to the humans from the embassy. _Captain ...Anderson I think? And the gray haired one is Ambassador Udina. The ambassador doesn't seem to be as accepting of quarians as the Commander and that doctor was. The other diplomats have probably been telling him the usual rumors and lies. Losing our home wasn't enough of a punishment for them I guess. I bet if the asari had been the ones to create the geth, nobody would be exiling them._

They were discussing the mission. Something about an asari scientist. Tali tried to focus on it, certain that it was important, but her eyes kept wandering to the Normandy. She couldn't help but wonder how fast she could go. Her fuel capacity, armaments, core output, armor strength. Tali wanted to get her hands on every single part of that ship, just to see how it worked. _It might even have some good ideas for the fleet..._ she glanced at the Commander as she thought this and immediately felt guilty. _He's trusting me when he knows nothing about me. He saved my life and is giving me the opportunity to help him save the galaxy. He even took the time to get my weapons back from C-Sec. I'm not going to betray that trust to steal the Normandy's secrets. The Commander deserves better than that._

They just kept talking and talking. The ambassador had gone a while back but the Alliance captain was going over some history he had with Saren. Tali was getting impatient. She was standing next to one of the most advanced ships in the galaxy and she had to wait. _At least I'm not waiting on the Conclave, I'd be standing here for months. _Still her patience was wearing thin as she looked over the sleek ship, admiring the design.

A new thought began to make its voice heard as she waited. The Normandy was indeed a highly advanced ship. From what she'd been told so far a lot of it was classified. Most in the Alliance didn't even know what it was capable of. _If it's a secret...maybe I won't be allowed to look at any of it. For all I know I'll be confined to crew quarters until we reach a destination where my skills are needed. _Tali's eyes fell to the deck and she began wringing her hands nervously. _I mean, I am an alien to them. __They'll probably consider me a security risk. I was being stupid to think they'd let me-_

"All right, we're boarding now. We'll have to wait in decontamination for a while of course," Shepard was saying as he walked down the pier leading the the airlock. Tali hurried to follow after the others, stepping into the decontamination chamber last. She noticed that Anderson wasn't following. _Isn't this his ship?_ She was puzzled until she remembered the Ambassador telling the Captain to help him get Shepard a ship. _He must have been relieved of command...Keelah I knew I should have been paying attention. _She was upset at the idea that a captain would be replaced like that, just to save time. In quarian society the rank of captain was an honored and respected one. _They might not place the same weight on the position out here though. Wait, does this mean the Commander is a captain now? Was he officially promoted? Should I call him Captain now?_

"Stand by shore party," came the cool, synthesized voice of the shipboard VI once the external doors had sealed, "Decontamination in progress." White vapor began filtering into the air as a energy field started sweeping back and forth over the group. "Decontamination in progress..."

When the shore party was finally allowed into the main deck, the commander turned to face them. "Welcome aboard the Normandy. Let me set a few ground rules. Williams, Alenko you already know the drill so I wont hold you up." The soldiers saluted before proceeding aft. Shepard returned his focus to the remaining members. "First, no killing each other," he glanced at Wrex as he said this, "Save it for Saren and the geth. Second if you have any issues with working with other species you can leave it at the airlock or just leave." Tali's spirits started to lift at that sentence. _Maybe he'll let me take a look at things after all. _Shepard continued steadily, "Third, if you have any problems with the way I run things or the direction this mission is headed, you bring them to me. Is that clear?"

Garrus nodded, Wrex replied with a non-committal grunt, Tali simply said, "Understood."

"Good, in that case go take a look around. We'll be departing soon and there are a few things to take care of first," Shepard said, seeming glad to have gotten the formalities out of the way. Garrus and Wrex headed down the main corridor as Shepard turned to the cockpit. Tali stayed right where she was, debating what to do. _Should I ask for permission? Did he just give it? Better to ask and be sure._

"Uh...Commander? Or should it be captain now? Um.." she asked nervously stepping up behind him. Shepard looked over his shoulder, seemingly a bit surprised to see her still there.

"Just 'Commander' if you want to be formal, Miss...Rayya? Nar Rayya? What is the proper way to address you exactly?"

"Oh, um, well just Tali works, Commander," she replied hesitantly, "It's just.. I know this is a classified ship and I'm an alien here but..would it be alright if I took a look at the drive core? I'm an engineer you see and a ship this advanced is really interesting and-"

"There's no need to explain so much Tali," Shepard said a hint of amusement in his voice, "You're on my crew, so you're free to go anywhere in the ship. And if you're an engineer, you might be able to help out Chief Adams, if you're willing."

"Really!" Tali said, her enthusiasm obvious, "Uh, I mean, thank you, Commander. I'll head right there." With that Tali almost ran off down the hall towards the CIC. Behind her Shepard smiled at the young woman's excitement and resumed his stride to the cockpit.

_How could they build a ship this magnificent and then equip it with an elevator this slow!_ Tali sighed in frustration as the elevator seemed to crawl down to the lower deck. When it finally opened she looked out on a moderately sized bay area. She looked around for an indication of where to go next as she exited the elevator. The bay featured a six wheeled tank along one wall, a series of lockers and weapons on the other. She turned on the spot taking in every detail until her eyes fell on the twin halls on either side of the elevator. Her visors HUD translated the large white symbols on the wall as reading "Engineering". She ran down the right hall, unwilling to wait any longer to see what was beyond the door. When it opened she stopped dead, and her jaw dropped.

"Keelah..." Tali whispered at the sight before her. The core was simply massive. Certainly she had seen bigger ones but only on immense ships or stations countless times larger than the Normandy. It was disproportionately huge compared to them. A large rotating trio of pylons extending forward from the rear wall , supporting a fortune of element zero. Powerful mass effect fields were coursing over the main assembly and the surrounding walls in an even rhythm. It was a beautiful sight. She was suddenly very, very glad she'd delayed her pilgrimage.

"This is Commander Shepard speaking..."


	5. Chapter 5

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya was having the time of her life.

It had been only that morning that she was fearing for her life as Fists assassins lured her into their trap. Now she was pouring over the _Normandy's_ engine readouts as they shot through space at FTL. She marveled at the sheer power of the drive core. They were cruising at .7 lph (light years per hour) and the engine was barely even trying. Heat dissipation was excellent, drive charge was only 5% and the fuel reserves were just hitting 80%. _I can't believe how smoothly the _Normandy_ runs. It's like we aren't even moving! The Rayya can't even hit .3 lph without shaking the bulkheads. Granted it wasn't built for speed but still... The Normandy can go faster than this. Of course the drive charge accumulates exponentially, so it's better not to go at maximum all the time._

Tali looked up from the display for a moment just to look at the core. It's blue-white light was a magnificent sight, the smoothly oscillating mass effect fields just adding to the show. _They'll never believe me back on the fleet when I tell them about this. It's just too crazy. No wonder the humans are advancing so fast,_ she thought as she admired the efficient design. She was pulled out of her thoughts by the sound of footsteps behind her. Tali looked over her shoulder to see the Commander walking towards her. _Now's my chance to thank him._

"Your ship's amazing, Shepard!" she said at once, forgetting about formality in her excitement, "I've never seen a drive core like this before. I can't believe you were able to fit it into a ship this small. I'm starting to understand why you humans have been so successful. I had no idea Alliance vessels were so advanced."

"The _Normandy's_ a prototype," Shepard explained, "cutting edge technology."

"A month ago I was patching a makeshift fuel line into a converted tugship in the Flotilla," It'd been quite an occasion as it'd been brought back as a Pilgrimage gift by a quarian who wanted to join the_ Rayya's _crew along with a large cargo container filled with various raw materials. It'd been an impressive gift, even if the ship did need some repairs to make it truly viable for work. She'd volunteered to help, simply so she could get her hands on a new engine for a change. It'd been fun at the time, but the memory paled in comparison to the _Normandy_. "Now I'm sitting on board one of the most advanced vessels in Citadel space. I have to thank you again for bringing me along," she said, hoping her gratitude made it through her voice filters, "Traveling on a vessel like this is a dream come true for me."

Shepard smiled at her enthusiasm, "I had no idea you found ship technology so interesting."

"It comes with being a quarian," Tali explained, "The Migrant Fleet is the key to the survival of my people. Ships are our most valuable resource. But we don't have anything like this..." she said, looking up at the rotating core, "We make do with cast-offs and second-hand equipment. We just try to keep them running for as long as we can. Some of the Fleets larger vessels date all the way back to our original flight from the geth," she pulled her eyes away from the core as she finished.

"I can't believe fleet's still using ships that are three centuries old," Shepard said, sounding both surprised and impressed.

"They're constantly being repaired, modified and refitted. They aren't pretty, but they work... Mostly," Tali could remember a time when the _Rayya's_ lighting system had failed, leaving everyone in the dark for the better part of a day. "We've tried to make ourselves as independent as possible on the Flotilla. We grow our own food, mine and process our own fuel, but some things we just can't make on our own. A patch to maintain the hull integrity requires raw materials we just don't have. That's why our Pilgrimages are so important." _Just the materials alone would have gotten him on the Rayya, even without the ship. That's like bringing two pilgrimages worth at once. And I have to do even better..._

Tali pushed those thoughts aside, trying to refocus on what she'd been saying, _The Commander doesn't need to hear about my problems. _Shepard nodded and seemed about to ask another question when his omnitool beeped at him. He powered the display, a frown creasing his face, "Looks like we'll have to pick this up another time."

Tali tried to hide her disappointment, she'd been enjoying telling him about her people, "I understand Commander. I won't take any more of your time.."

"We'll talk later if you feel like it," the Commander replied with a smile, "I'd like to know more about you," he said, "And your people," he added quickly as he walked to the exit.

"See you later then," Tali said, already looking forward to it. She tried to return to her work, but it seemed a lot more difficult to watch the readouts than before as she tried to figure out something much more challenging. _What is it about him? __He seems so trustworthy, but I barely know him. And there I was rambling on about the Fleet like we were friends. But he didn't seem to mind, and he wants to talk again later._ She felt her stomach tighten up a bit at that thought._ I have to admit,_ she thought, looking back up at the core, _I'm kind of looking forward to it._

Out of the corner of her eye she noticed the Chief Engineer looking at her. She quickly dropped her eyes to the console again. She'd spent a couple hours questioning the staff when she'd first arrived. She'd been so excited at the time she'd gotten carried away. _I hope I didn't annoy them... I mean, just barging in here and asking about every system? And then suggesting how they could improve a few things? And then I stop paying attention to chat with the Commander? What was I thinking?_

"Excuse me, Tali right?" Tali jumped at the sudden voice a few feet to her side. She turned to see Engineer Adams there, a data tablet in hand.

"Um, y-yes? Is there something I can do?" she asked, trying to sound more confident than she felt.

"I just ran those suggestions of yours through the computer," he said, glancing down at the tablet before continuing, "I have to say, it's looking damned impressive."

"R-really?" Tali replied uncertainly. _Does this mean he's not angry at me then?_

He smiled broadly in response, "As a matter of fact we could use your help getting some of it set up for implementation. We'll need to be able to make the switch over fast once we drop out of FTL. I doubt the geth will be giving us time to sit around a fiddle with the systems when we run into them."

"I'd be glad to help," Tali said, relief washing over her. _I'm just glad I didn't mess up. He'd probably be less accommodating if my suggestions were all useless._

–

The elevator door slowly slid open, letting the hungry engineering shift exit onto the upper deck. They worked their way around to the mess area, collecting their meals before taking their seats. Tali was relieved to find they had picked up an ample supply of nutrient paste on the citadel. She watched the others start to eat their meals, which despite being military provisions actually resembled food. Tali looked down at her tube of paste with a sigh. _I wonder what it's like to eat solid food. I've never had anything but paste, even before I got my first suit. I can't eat anything that hasn't been processed to death._ She extended her suits feeding tube and hooked up the paste containers nozzle. Taking the other end of the feeding tube in her mouth she started to suck out the contents.

One of the female human engineers was watching her curiously, "What does that stuff taste like?"

Tali stopped eating and considered the question for a moment. It wasn't something she ever thought about. "I don't know," she said at last, "It's the only thing I've ever tasted besides one time having a meat based version. It doesn't taste like that. That's all I know."

The engineer seemed puzzled by that, "I know quarians and humans are based on different chemicals or whatever, so you can't eat our food. But they picked up some turian military rations for the one who joined up on the Citadel... what's his name?"

"Garrus." Tali offered between sips of paste.

"That's it. Haven't met him yet. Anyway, why not eat his food?" the engineer asked, taking a drink of water as she finished.

"If I took off my mask to eat it I'd get sick from all the airborne bacteria and viruses around us. Then I'd get sick from the food itself. Avoiding that would require sterilizing and pulverizing it into nutrient paste. Even then, I'd run the risk of an allergic reaction just because it's different." Tali had experienced a minor reaction just because the paste in the fleet was slightly different than the paste elsewhere when she'd first started eating it. And it'd still tasted the same.

"Oh," the human said, looking down at her tray, "That sucks."

Tali shrugged, "I guess. But it's not like I know what I'm missing. And it's hardly worth dying for going from what I'm getting from the olfactory filters. What is it?"

"Rations," the human grimaced, "They CLAIM it's tuna casserole."

Adams chimed in a few chairs down, "It's better than it used to be. Enjoy it." he shifted his attention to Tali, "By the way, Tali. Good work today. I think you're going to end up being a real asset to the crew."

The other engineers were nodding at that and Tali could feel her face heating up. "I'm glad to help. It's fun getting to work on such an advanced ship," she admitted, her fingers fidgeting with the paste tube to squeeze a bit more out. Despite her modesty, she couldn't deny the feeling of pride that had flared up at his words.

"The _Normandy_ is cutting edge," Adams said proudly, "First of her class. You wont find a finer ship in any other fleet. Between the Tantalus drive core and the emission sinks the _Normandy's_ one of a kind."

The engineering team spent the better part of the next hour discussing ways to draw out every last ounce of the _Normandy's_ true potential. The conversation wandered back and forth between new ideas and old tricks they'd picked up along the years. Tali was impressed at their technical knowledge. They were more familiar with the brand new tech the ship was built of, but Tali always found ways to modify their ideas. Quarians may have been a race of mechanics by necessity, but while she was out on Pilgrimage she had the opportunity to try her hand at something else. Despite that she found that when listening to the humans debate the best ways to solve issues and then the issues that those fixes would cause she felt right at home. _Even if I wasn't required to be, I'd still want to be an engineer, _she thought with a smile. _I'm so glad the Commander brought me along. Just another thing I owe him..._

–

It was time to 'get some rack' as Adams had put it. Tali pressed the alarm key on one of the sleeper pods, alerting the occupant that their sleep time was up. The Alliance technician broke the seal, yawning as he got out. Tali studied the pod a bit apprehensively, she'd never seen one before and wasn't entirely sure how to use it.

"Excuse me," she said before the previous occupant could leave, "I've never used one of these...How does it work?"

The tech stopped and glanced back at the pod, "Top notch models on this ship. Just get in, press the control here," he pointed at a faintly glowing green button, "And she'll close up and tint the window. It has a cryo-sleep setting too."

"Cryo-sleep? How do I make sure it's off?" Tali said at once.

"It's no big deal," the tech assured her, "You'd never notice the difference."

Tali gestured to her suit, "This is an environmental suit. It's built to keep me alive even in space. It'd interfere with the cryo-sleep process. It could even be dangerous. At best it's a waste of power."

The tech nodded as he considered what Tali said. "Guess you've got a point there," he powered up his omnitool, punching in commands, "Here, I'm sending you the control protocols for the pods. Just be sure to reset it when you get up for the next person."

Tali raised her tools display confirming the transfer, "Thanks for the help," she said gratefully. _That cryo setting could have caused a lot of problems. I'm glad I asked someone._

"No problem," he answered, another yawn breaking out as he continued on his way to the mess. Tali interfaced her omnitool with the pod, adjusting the settings as she got in. _Alright, it should be safe now. Tomorrow I'll ask if I can set up an automatic setting to save time. _She tried to settle into the pod, noting that it was only marginally more comfortable than her decrepit bunk back on the _Rayya_. A push of the close button later and Tali decided she'd rather have her old bunk. Her living space had been small, but her bunk had only been closed off by a purple curtain. An effective light barrier to be sure, but much easier to get out of in a hurry than the solid window over her now. The clear material tinted abruptly, becoming as hard to see through from the outside as her face mask.

_I'll just have to get used to it,_ she thought managing to turn onto her side. Tali felt the day's events catching up to her, exhaustion setting in making her eyelids feel as though their mass had quadrupled. _I'll have to thank the Commander again for letting me join his crew... I hope I can repay him for all he's done... _she thought as she drifted to sleep.

An annoying beeping sound pulled her out of her slumber much to soon for her liking. After all the excitement and stress of the previous day Tali had needed a good nights sleep. The 8 earth hours suitable for humans was a bit short for a quarian. Meaning she was sluggish getting out of her pod for the next user, nearly forgetting to reset it. She then dragged her feet all the way to the mess. _I really could have used another hour.._ she thought ruefully as she collected her paste and dropped into her chair. She saw the Commander sitting at the far end of the table, conversing with Garrus and Alenko as they ate. She straightened up at once, not wanting to seem fatigued lest the Commander question having her aboard. She sighed quietly, looking down at her paste tube. _Maybe I should look into purifying options for turian food before I head back to the fleet. It might taste a bit different at least. Be nice to know why everyone else seems to enjoy eating._

Tali spent the morning on her back in engineering, halfway into a wall as she adjusted a fuel line valves. They had dropped from FTL while on approach to the next Mass Relay that would take them to the Artemis Tau cluster. _I wonder if I'll be on the ground team when we find the asari scientist... I hope I don't let anyone down._ She locked down the valve controls and slid out of the access port. "Try it now."

Adams keyed up the diagnostic and monitored the data presented by the VI. He started to smile a bit at the results, "Flow rate potential is up by 4%. Now, we just need to wait until we cut engines at the Relay to make the switch." He turned to address the entire team, "Now Joker is expecting the switch at 10:25 hours. It needs to happen on the dot, we can't afford any delays." The staff nodded, and turned to their stations, running last minute diagnostics in preparation. _It's so different than the fleet. Much more focused on schedules and so much more organized. I wonder if that's just because they're military?_

It was just before 10:00 when the Commander came down to engineering. _The Commander? Why is he here again so soon? He must need to talk to Engineer Adams._ She tried to avoid listening in, she'd learned that while on the Flotilla it was normal for everyone to be in everyone's business it was considered rude to observe another persons conversation out in the rest of the galaxy.

"...she's amazing. I wish my guys were half as smart as she is!" Adams was saying. _Does he mean, no he couldn't be talking- _"Give her a month on board and she'll know more about our engines than I do_. _She's got a real knack for technology, that one. I can see why you wanted her to come along."

"I figured she'd be a real asset to the team," the Commander replied. Tali felt her face burning as he said that. _Don't be stupid,_ she thought sternly,_ He's just making a tactical observation. _She jumped when the Commander spoke behind her, "Tali, I need a word with you about the mission."

Tali turned away from her console at once, "Of course, Commander. Is there something you need me to do?"

"I want you on the ground team when we reach Therum, We can only take a small team on the Mako and we'll need your technical expertise if we run into any trouble. A search will be much more difficult if it breaks down on us.'

"No problem, Commander. I'll do my best," she said, trying to disguise the apprehension she felt at the prospect. _I have feeling this isn't going to be as simple as driving in and picking someone up. Good thing the Commander got my weapons back. I'll probably need them._

"Well, from what I'm hearing your best is better than most," Shepard's smile making Tali's stomach clench, "I'm sure you'll come through."

"Oh, um.. Thank you," she said, feeling rather self conscious as she said it. _I shouldn't be so nervous. It's a simple compliment. Just calm down,_ she thought trying to will her pulse back to normal.

"I'll let you get back to work, I know you're busy down here," Shepard continued, gesturing to the open panels on the walls.

"Oh, right. Yes," Tali said grateful for the way out, "I should get back to it." She turned back to her console, sighing in relief when she heard the door close. She shook her head in a vain effort to clear it. _I don't understand. Engineer Adams basically gave me the same compliment before. Why does it seem so much more important from the Commander? _She stared blankly at her console, not really seeing the various readouts displayed on it. _It must just be because he's the one in charge. It has to be. I mean, it's not like he means anything by it. It's just a captain telling a subordinate she's doing her job well. Why am I still dwelling on this?_


	6. Chapter 6

**They just keep getting longer. This chapter took a while due to academic obligations. I had a rather burning desire to not to fail my physics test you see. Probably can predict similar delay for the next one too, so don't hold any breaths. Unless it's some kind of protest where you threaten to hold your breath until I stop writing. Which would be understandable, though I wouldn't advise it. As usual I'd like to thank people for the views and the reviews on previous chapters. And again, as usual, I'd appreciate continued feedback.**

**More action this time around, less dialog, more directly based on the Mass Effect game events for Therum. Read enjoy/gather the villagers into a mob with torches and pitch forks to hunt me down.**

**And thanks to queanofswords for beta read. (I'm told it's proper manners to mention that. And I do usually lean paragon.)**

* * *

Tali activated her omnitool's holographic display and instructed her suit to administer a dose of anti-nausea medication. As the mission on Therum went on one thing had become abundantly clear to her: the Mako had **not** been made by the same people as the _Normandy_. The _Normandy _was a sleek, efficient and above all, smoothly operating vehicle. The Mako was one hill away from making her vomit into her helmet. _Oh keelah, please let us get there soon. I can't wait to get out of this thing. Couldn't the pilot have dropped us closer?_

Up in the driver seat Commander Shepard wasn't having a much better time. He was a decent pilot and usually a good driver, but the Mako's element zero core was a mixed blessing. It enabled him to jump the tank over obstacles and even a few rockets, a feat that would be impossible without the mass reducing field. It could also compensate for variations in gravity between planets, ensuring that it'd handle the same way no matter where he drove it. However the light weight made it hard as hell to control. Less weight meant less traction, and that a siege pulse from the geth colossus he was trying to evade jerked them around like a leaf in a windstorm.

Shepard felt the hull scrape against one of the boulders that littered the small valley they had found themselves in. It'd been filled with geth carrying heavy weapons when they'd arrived. The ground was now strewn with warped and burning geth components. The colossus had been the real threat from the start as the Mako's main gun was more than enough to shred the bipedal platforms, while the colossus was a walking tank. It towered over the Mako, it's spindly legs not looking strong enough to support it's heavily armored body. The head mounted weapons were formidable, the siege pulses disrupting the Mako's shields making them more vulnerable to follow up hits from its mass accelerators. The giraffe-like neck gave the machine a definite height advantage, allowing it to shoot right over any cover Shepard could find. Worst of all the stubborn machine was directly between them and their only lead on the asari scientist they had come for.

_God damn it,_ Shepard thought swerving to avoid another pulse, _if Williams doesn't take that thing down right the hell now we're screwed. The shields can't take another hit. _The gunner spot had been a hard choice for that mission. He already provided biotics and Tali's technical skills were rapidly being revealed to be the best on the crew. This meant they needed someone who could dish out heavy firepower in case the planet was crawling with geth. In the end he'd settled on Williams, figuring she was already familiar with the Mako and having two unknown quantities on the mission didn't seem like a sound move. _Next time I expect hell I'll bring Wrex. I'll make sure to get him and Garrus checked out on the Mako's artillery._

The Mako shuddered as Williams fired the main cannon. The heavy slug smashed on impact, caving the machines neck in on itself in the process, the head ending up pointing back at its body. It stood silently, electricity arcing sporadically from the impact point as white fluid streamed down the metal exterior. Williams gave it a short burst from the machine gun, watching carefully as the legs gave out. It didn't so much as twitch after falling.

"We're clear, Commander," she said triumphantly after sweeping her sights over the area.

"Good work, Williams," he said as he brought the Mako to a halt, "Tali, status report."

"Half the shield emitters are overloaded," she said, examining the systems display, silently grateful that they would have to stop moving, "Hull still seems intact. We need to give the emitters time to reset and recharge if we want to keep it that way though."

Shepard couldn't argue with that. He turned his head to the gunner seat, "Williams, keep a sharp eye out. I want to know the moment something moves out there."

"Roger that," she said, "Shoot on sight?"

"Negative, check targets first. The last thing we want is to kill the scientist we're after because of an itchy trigger finger. Wait until you see the flashlight."

Williams smirked at that, "You got it, skipper."

Tali was a bit wary of Williams. It wasn't as though there had been any threats or any hint of personal hostility, but she wasn't exactly reserved on her opinions of serving with aliens. Granted, the navigator didn't seem too fond of other species either, but he didn't carry a full set of military weapons. _I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. The Commander made his stance on discrimination clear, and I don't think anyone on board is stupid enough to challenge him on it. I'm lucky the Council appointed such an honorable man to be a Spectre. Maybe the Spectres aren't all bad... I mean, if the Commander is any indication, at least some of them are friendly enough._ A beep from her console jarred her out of her thoughts. Her pulse shot through the roof as she looked for the problem. She then felt silly as she saw it was simply indicating the shields had started to recharge.

_I should have been paying attention, not letting my mind wander, _she berated herself as she waited for her heart to slow back down. She traced her fingers through the holographic screen, scrolling through the lists of data presented. _Element Zero core is stable, power supply high, engine fully operational, everything is still reading safe. They need to upgrade the shield designs on this thing though. The built in capacitors are totally inadequate. I'll have to speak to Engineer Adams about some ideas-_

"Hey, Tali, are we close enough for the Mako's sensors to pick up the energy spike yet?" Shepard asked over his shoulder.

"I'll check," Tali replied at once, bringing up a new screen. _The sensors on this thing aren't very good either. It's all geared towards identifying targets, not pinpointing Prothean energy signatures. _She gave it a shot anyway, using a few tricks she picked up on the Flotilla to clean up the edges of the image. _There it is!_

"I've got it, Commander. It seems we're still on the best route to it. However I'm picking up a lot of power emissions between us and there. Probably geth," she said, almost spitting the last couple words.

Shepard noticed that hostility at once. _Considering the quarian history with the geth it's not surprising. I just hope she keeps a level head if we fight any on foot. _While not exactly fond of the geth, the Commander still saw them as a sapient race of lifeforms, meaning he'd treat them like any other enemy soldiers on the battlefield. _I'll have to keep an eye on that, make sure she doesn't cross the line. _"Can you give me any intel on what to expect?"

"Nothing definite. I don't see any readings large enough to be a colossus or armature, but I can't locate the drop ship," she said sounding a bit concerned at that, "I think it's safe to assume it has more geth to deploy yet."

"Got it. How about the shields?"

"30 more seconds and we'll be ready for combat, Commander," she replied, "Some of the emitters aren't fully functional though. They may give out under heavy fire."

"Understood. Williams, I don't want the geth within 100 meters of this tank," Shepard ordered as he started the Mako accelerating.

"No problem, sir," she said confidently, "they'll never know who shot their synthetic asses."

Tali couldn't help but smirk a bit under her helmet. _I might get to like her after all.

* * *

_

_Thank the ancestors...,_Tali thought as Shepard ordered them to proceed on foot due to an impassable set of obstacles. Sheer rock on two sides, molten rock on the other, and only a narrow gap to move through. Tali clambered eagerly out of the Mako, glad to be free of it's sickening lurching. _I need to find a better anti-nausea agent. This one isn't strong enough. _

Shepard drew his sniper rifle, motioning for the others to follow him. Williams and Tali followed suit, pulling an assault rifle and pistol respectively, moving to cover the Commander as they advanced. The path was studded with numerous rocks and outcroppings from the valley walls providing plenty of cover. Tali caught a glint of blue light ahead and ducked behind a boulder just in time to evade a barrage from a geth pulse rifle.

"Take cover!" Shepard barked, as he sighted in the lead geth. A second later the glowing eye exploded in a shower of sparks.

Williams dropped into cover, spraying the oncoming geth with rounds on the way. Their shields glowed faintly, easily shrugging off the attack. They raised their weapons simultaneously, all targeting Shepard as he ran for cover. Abruptly one of them made an about face, opening fire on its comrades. The other geth swung around in unison to deal with the new threat.

_You are not getting him today you bosh'tets,_Tali thought triumphantly as she worked her omnitool's controls. The hack on the geth's friend-or-foe settings wouldn't last long even with her locks imposed on it's memory files. Tali's fingers danced on the screen as she attempted to hack another one. She frowned as her link to it died before she could finish. _Must have been shot. I should probably just help kill the rest directly. _Tali leaned a bit out of cover, leveling her pistol as a trio of geth pinning Williams down. Tali's shots all hit their mark, white fluid spraying from one geth's back as her concentrated fire breached its shielding and light armor. A biotic field enveloped the remaining two, hoisting them helplessly into the air. Williams stood and began unloading her assault rifle into the suspended geth reducing them to floating scrap.

Tali swept her omnitool over her comrades, sighing in relief at the results. Shields still up, no injuries, weapons in perfect working order. She adjusted the scan parameters, getting a bearing on the unknown energy reading.

"Straight ahead, Commander," she said, "A few hundred meters away. I'm reading a lot of geth between us and there."

"Understood," Shepard replied, "Williams, take point. Tali bring up the rear, see if you can hack a few geth when we run into the next batch."

"Got it," Tali said, opening her hacking programs as she followed.

The narrow path opened onto a large dig site. It was crawling with geth shock troops and rocket troops that opened fire the moment Shepard's squad came into view. Tali dove for cover, attempting to hack a shock trooper. Her omnitool beeped in protest, the link being immediately severed.

"Commander! There are too many of them, I can't bypass their firewalls until we thin them out!" she shouted over the roar of gunfire. She poked her head just above cover, firing off a few quick pistol shots before she noticed a flare of red light against her visor. _Where is that coming from? _She tried to pinpoint the source, her eyes falling on an almost completely black geth crouching on a tower overlooking the battlefield. _Oh no..._

"Sniper!" she shouted just before the powerful round impacted her shields. The force of the hit dissipated her shielding entirely and knocked her flat on her back. Tali blinked dazedly, staring up at the sky as she tried to collect her wits. The sound of a non-geth sniper rifle shot jarred her back into action, and she dragged herself into cover. _That was too close... If I hadn't upgraded my shields I'd be dead._ Another sniper shot echoed over the ambient gunfire.

"Geth snipers down," Shepard's voice said over her comm-link, "Tali, stay down until your shields are back up."

"Understood," Tali replied, grateful for the excuse to stay put. Her head was still spinning from the hit with the result that she couldn't hit the broad side of a dreadnought right now. Tali powered her omnitool, trying to locate the remaining geth. She blinked at the results, running the scan again to be sure. _Two? Two left? _An indicator flashed and went dead. _One left! How does he do it?_

A brief burst of assault rifle fire and the last indicator went dark. A ringing silence fell on Tali's ears as she stared at the scan results in disbelief. She finally just shook her head and hauled herself upright, taking a moment to get her footing.

"Looks like we're clear, Commander," she announced.

Shepard strode over to her at once, "You alright? That was one hell of a hit you took."

"I'm fine," Tali assured him, feeling her face getting hot despite the already sweltering heat of the volcanic planet, "by the time it got through my shields all it could do was knock me over. I'm ready to keep moving when you are."

Shepard nodded, seeming relieved by her reply. _He just doesn't want to lose anyone under his command. That's it. He'd be just as concerned about Williams,_ Tali told herself. _Don't read into his actions so much. I'm just going to be disappointed if I do. _Tali took up the rear position again as they resumed their trek to the source of the energy signature._ No, no, _she admonished herself,_ I'm NOT going to be disappointed. I have no reason to be disappointed. He's just my commanding officer. That's all._

Shepard led the way up the slope towards what looked like a trio of industrial silos. Metal cylinders with domed tops tapering down into cones were they met the ground. An elevated catwalk connected the setup to a platform above what looked like an entrance to a mineshaft. A few heavy duty crates littered the area under the catwalk which appeared otherwise deserted. _That mineshaft must be the place. Where are the geth? We can't have killed all of them._

A sudden movement caught her eye. Something was huddled up on the underside of the catwalk. The object unfolded itself, stretching out four long limbs powered by the same artificial musculature the standard geth employed. It clung to the metal like some kind of insect, not gripping it with the long, prehensile digits at the end of each limb, but simply sticking to the surface. As they all raised their weapons the strange geth launched itself to the ground in the blink of an eye, landing easily on all fours before immediately leaping again, adhering to the scaffolding around the nearest silo and crawling up out of sight.

The roar of a ships engine grew in Tali's ears as the geth scurried away. She wheeled around to see the geth dropship swooping in low overhead, its bay doors opening. Two geth snipers and a shock trooper dropped out, hitting the dirt with a trio of thuds, each kicking up a small dust cloud before the impact of a geth armature shook the ground with a thunderous crash. The trio unfolded themselves, the snipers flanking the massive armature as it expanded to its full height, its optics sighting in on Shepard's team. A small group of wall crawling geth were leaping into view as well, jumping between surfaces too fast to get a bead on.

"Take cover!" Shepard ordered, firing off a single sniper round into one of the flanking geth as he made for the relative safety of one of the crates. Williams poured assault fire into the advancing shock trooper as she made for cover herself. Tali ducked behind a crate, swapping her pistol for her shotgun. _Those jumping geth are too fast to pick off accurately. With this I might at least graze them. _She saw one pause on the wall, a dull red beam tracking Shepard from its optics. Tali swung out of cover, giving the geth a blast from her gun. The tungsten rounds tore the unarmored unit to pieces. _Take that you synthetic bosh'tet,_ she thought as she pulled back into cover, hearing it drop lifelessly to the ground.

Williams popped up above cover, putting another stream of rounds into the shock trooper before the armature fired. She dropped back into cover but the siege pulse grazed her shields, overloading them instantly.

"Damn! My shields are down!"

"Stay put, Williams," Shepard ordered, "I'll finish that one off." With that he pulled out a grenade, armed, and threw it in one fluid motion, "Fire in the hole!" The disk shaped explosive sped through the air before clinging to the shock trooper. A second later the trooper was blown to pieces, the explosion crippling a nearby geth as it leaped past. Tali finished the damaged unit with a quick shotgun blast, some of the geth's internal fluid splashing onto her weapons barrel. She hurriedly got back in cover as a siege pulse shot past her head.

Shepard clenched his fist, the air around him rippling like heatwaves as he summoned up his biotics. The aura concentrated around his left hand, and he stepped clear of the crate. Shepard drove the glowing hand forward, impelling another heavy crate with a surge of dark energy. The surviving geth sniper was crushed under the massive weight, it's high pitched synthesized "scream" cut short. Williams rose from cover just long enough to blow the head off a wall clinging geth that had been targeting Tali's head. It dropped like a stone, collapsing in a heap of tangled limbs. The armature was the only surviving geth, and it was completely unscathed.

"Tali, any chance you could hack that thing into not attacking us?" Shepard shouted as a siege pulse struck the ground beside him.

"I can't," Tali replied, "This omnitool isn't powerful enough to infiltrate a system that well protected. I should be able to overload its shields though."

"Do it!" Shepard ordered as he reached around the crate with his pistol to give her cover fire.

Tali pulled out a tech mine, setting it for overload. She peeked around her cover to make sure she wouldn't be fried the moment she showed herself. Seeing that Shepard had its attention she stepped out and flung the device. Tech mines moved too slow to trigger an enemies shields, meaning they could glide right up to to their targets and activate without any trouble. They had a dual use in combat, first to amplify an omnitool's range and potency, and second to explode when they were done. The armatures shields sparked and wavered instantly, dropping fully a second later.

"Concentrate your fire on its head!" Shepard called to Williams. The pair of them opened fire, focusing each shot on the vulnerable optics. Tali readied another overload device though the armature being alone made it unlikely it retained the intelligence to effectively counter her first attack. A siege pulse detonated against her cover, the force of the impact threatening to topple the heavy crate on top of her. _I have to move,_ Tali thought frantically looking for another piece of cover. The crate tipped further with each wasted second, forcing Tali to make a break for it regardless of having nowhere to go. She only managed two steps before her foot caught on a rock, sending her flat on her stomach. Her lower body still posed to be crushed by the now falling crate. Tali tried to crawl away, waiting for the pain as her legs were pulverized.

Instead it felt more like someone of moderate weight was laying on them. Tali halted her escape efforts, looking back in confusion. The massive metal crate was enveloped in rippling blue energy. _A mass reducing field, _she realized, _it wont last long, I have to get clear before it fades._ Tali could already feel the weight increasing as she wrenched her right leg loose. She had to grab the left leg with both hands to tug it free, managing it just before the life saving energy dispersed entirely.

"You alright there, Tali?" Shepard asked, the biotic field around him still just barely visible.

"Thank you, Commander," Tali said breathlessly as she crawled into cover beside him, "I owed you my life before, now I owe you my legs too."

"Don't bother keeping track," Shepard laughed. He'd swapped out his pistol for his sniper rifle again, leaning out of cover to put a high powered round into the armatures head, "Before Saren is dead we're all going to owe each other a lot more than legs."

_I knew this would be dangerous but I never expected anything like this,_ Tali thought as she reached around cover to fire at the stubbornly alive armature. _He really is impressive. Other biotics I've seen get tired after one or two uses, but he's just unstoppable._

At last the armature had enough. A final volley from the trio and the tanks head exploded in a shower of sparks, shrapnel and white liquid. The headless body teetered slowly before tipping sideways, hitting the dirt with a heavy crash. Tali automatically powered her omnitool, spinning on the spot to scan the area.

"That's the last of them," she said in relief, "Unless there are more on that ship."

"Best to assume there are," Shepard said grimly, "We can't wait around though. We're heading into the mine. Any injuries? Once we head down there we're not coming out until we find something."

Williams readied her assault rifle confidently, "Say the word," she said simply.

"You lead, I'll follow," Tali said, hefting her shotgun.

Shepard nodded approvingly, leading the way to the mine entrance, a cylindrical, metal shaft driven into the ground at an angle. They had to climb a somewhat steep ramp to reach the circular door. Shepard tapped the control, stepping back a bit as the door opened. The trio peered down the long metal tube. Insulated conduits ran along the sides, curved light fixtures mounted every 10 meters glowing bright blue. Shepard led the way down the steep tunnel, Tali and Williams following as quietly as they could manage on a metal floor while wearing armored boots. Shepard collapsed his sniper rifle, holstering it with one hand while pulling out his shotgun with the other. Tali couldn't help noticing with a twinge of envy that his was a much newer model than hers.

At that moment bright blue pulse rounds streaked past her head. Williams and Shepard calmly opened fire, the spray of shotgun and assault rounds turning the geth trooper at the end of the tunnel into scrap in a matter of seconds. Shepard lead the charge out onto a series of metal catwalks that had been built into a natural cavern. Tali just caught a glimpse of what looked like a building deeper inside before she had to focus on a squad of geth running up the winding catwalks towards them. Shepard didn't even slow down, giving one trooper a point blank shotgun blast with one hand, biotically hurling another off the catwalk and into a long plummet with the other. Tali didn't even have time to get a shot off before it was all over, Shepard calmly stepped over a pile of slaughtered geth. Tali and Williams exchanged impressed glances at the display before following the commander onward. The catwalk lead straight up to the ruin, but the entrance was blocked by large barrier, forcing them to back track a few meters and get into an elevator instead. Tali examined the building more closely as they descended, noting that the rock went right up against the walls.

"It looks like this cavern formed around the ruin. After it was built," she mused aloud. _A tribute to Prothean technology. They built structures strong enough to withstand being buried in molten rock intact. It's amazing._

"Protheans built to last," Williams agreed, "Looks like a lava flow poured in here."

They dropped several stories on the first elevator, only pausing on the way to the second to dispose of a swarm of geth assault drones. The second ride didn't go as smoothly. As they neared the lower levels the carriage began to shake, sparks flying as the sound of metal on metal filled the air. They ground to a halt over a meter short of the nearest catwalk, which appeared to be heavily damaged, broken apart in several places. Shepard lead the way, dropping from one section to the next, making sure it was stable before signaling the others to follow.

"Uh... Hello? Could somebody help me? Please?" a female voice called, sounding slightly distorted.

Tali followed the Commander down, and saw the source at once: an asari in a green and white uniform suspended in the air behind a shimmering barrier inside the ruins. Tali recognized her from the picture she'd been shown before the mission started as Doctor Liara T'Soni.

"Can you hear me out there?" the asari called sounding somewhat desperate, "I am trapped. I need help!"

–

Tali worked on the large mining laser on the lowest level of the cavern. She wasn't sure about this asari scientist. She seemed sincere enough in what she said, even warning them of a krogan working with the geth. Tali was willing to believe that T'Soni could have accidentally triggered a security program that had trapped her as she said, but the claim of not having spoken with her own mother in years seemed strange. _I've always been distant from father, but I've never gone years without speaking to him. Well, face to face I might have, but we'd at least exchange messages from time to time. Maybe its different for asari. They live so long, maybe a few years doesn't seem like a long time to them. I wont be turning my back any time soon in any case. If her mother Benezia wasn't our enemy this would be a lot simpler._

"I think I've got it, Commander," she called as the last firing sequence came together on her omnitool.

"Right, stand clear, Williams," Shepard ordered getting away from the death area himself, "Fire when ready, Tali."

The laser hummed, building up power until a searing red beam shot from the end, pulverizing the solid rock in front of it. As the dust cleared it proved to be a successful shot, a clear path was open into the ruins. Shepard wasted no time in leading the way down the slope, holstering his weapon as he approached a Prothean terminal. A single touch and the holographic screen came to life, automatically activating the platform they stood on. It functioned as an elevator, carrying them up until they were level with the trapped asari.

"How... How did you get in here? I didn't think there was any way past the barrier!" she said in shock.

"We blasted through with the mining laser," Shepard explained casually.

"Of course..." the scientist said, "Yes, that makes sense. Please... get me out of here before more geth arrive. That button over there should shut down this containment field."

Shepard stepped up to the indicated console, opening the display. About half the data displayed had been successfully translated, just enough to operate the deactivation control.

The suspension field disappeared at once, dropping the asari to the deck causing a surprised gasp on her part. She stood shakily, dusting herself off a bit as she turned around.

"Any idea how we get out of this place?" Tali asked, noticing that the door barrier was still active.

"There is an elevator back in the center of the tower," Liara replied, "At least I, I think it's an elevator. It should take us out of here. Come on!" she finished moving past her rescuers to the central console.

"I-I still can not believe all of this. Why would the geth come after me?" Liara said, sounding confused and worried, "Do you think Benezia's involved?"

"Saren's looking for the Conduit," Williams cut in, "Think fast, Ms. Prothean expert," she continued in a sarcastic tone.

"The Conduit? But I don't know-" Liara began, stopping short as a distant rumbling echoed through the tower, the floor shaking a bit.

"What the hell was that?" Williams asked, sounding simply angry now.

Tali looked up anxiously, _I don't like this,_a _maybe that laser wasn't such a good idea._

Another rumble shook the tower, much louder than the first, "These ruins are not stable," Liara said quickly, "That mining laser must have triggered a seismic event," she hurried to the console, entering commands, "We have to hurry. The whole place is caving in!" she said as the shaking grew ever stronger.

Shepard's hand jumped to his comm-link, "Joker! Get the _Normandy_ airborne and lock in on my signal. On the double mister!" he shouted over the noise.

"Aye, aye, Commander. Secure and aweigh. ETA eight minutes," Joker replied, his voice sounding less sarcastic than usual.

"He needs to move faster," Tali said, feeling a particularly strong jolt through the floor. _I do not want to die down here._

The elevator rose through the tower, rumbling and grinding with age along with the surrounding stone. To it's credit it moved quickly, rising several stories in a matter of seconds. It came to a stop at the top floor, though the sight that greeted them was far from welcoming. A heavily armored krogan was striding towards them, followed by a squad of geth. Two shock troopers, a sniper and a bright red rocket trooper, all with weapons trained on Shepard's team. The Prothean barrier was down until they crossed the threshold, powering back up at once when they were inside, sealing the two groups in the tower together.

_How did they manage that? Did the geth hack into the system somehow?_ Tali thought in frustration, _Even if we kill them there's no guarantee that we'll be able to get out._

"Surrender. Or don't. That would be more fun," the krogan stared down at Shepard with blood red eyes.

"In case you didn't notice, this place is falling apart," Shepard retorted.

"Exhilarating, isn't it?" the krogan replied, "Thanks for getting rid of those energy fields for us. Hand the doctor over."

"Whatever it is you want, you are not getting it from me," Liara said firmly.

"She'll stay with us, thanks," Shepard said with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"Not an option," the krogan said simply, "Saren wants her. And he always gets what he wants," he turned to the geth, "Kill them. Spare the asari if you can. If not, it doesn't matter,"he finished with shrug.

Shepard's team all drew their weapons at once, opening fire as they ran for cover. Liara ducked behind the console, generating a biotic barrier over herself as she lacked any weapons or armor. Shepard stayed close to her, using his sniper rifle to blow a hole through the geth sniper's head.

Tali hurled the overload mine she'd prepped earlier, wreaking havoc on the rocket troopers shields. Williams promptly shot it to pieces with her assault rifle. The krogan was advancing on Shepard's position, his powerful shields deflecting Shepard's sniper rounds. Shepard changed tactics at once, knocking the krogan off his feet with a biotic shove. The shock troopers had moved to opposite sides of the room, raining pulse rounds on them. Tali ran to the side getting several solid shotgun blasts in on the nearest geth, smiling as she heard its shields drop. She ducked behind a support arch, waiting for her weapons heat radiators to cool. Noticing that Williams was taking a lot of fire from the other shock trooper Tali drew another tech mine, setting it for overload before flinging it at the geth. With its shields disrupted Williams finished it off with ease. For her part, Tali pointed her gun around the arch and fired. As she expected the geth had gotten close and the shot was nearly point blank. The geth's armor caved in, a large hole blown through its chest.

Before she could celebrate she heard a furious roar from across the chamber. The krogan was up and charging, knocking Williams aside like a toy as he made for Shepard. Shepard switched for his shotgun as quickly as he could, holding his ground as he opened fire. The krogan was glowing with biotic powers, drawing back a fist in preparation for a strike.

A powerful mass effect field jerked the enraged krogan off the ground and hurled him into the far wall. Liara was standing, her entire body aglow with blue light as she mimed a second shove, slamming the krogan into the wall a second time. Williams was staggering to her feet, both she and Tali staring at Liara in shock from her display of power. Shepard didn't miss a beat, closing the distance in a matter of seconds and pressing his shotgun to the krogan's head. A swift trigger pull later and the krogan was no longer a threat.

"Let's get the hell out of here!" he shouted over the now deafening sounds of the caverns collapse.

Tali didn't need to be told twice, sprinting for the barrier as fast as her legs would carry her. The tower was losing power, the barrier fading as they neared it. A deluge of stone and dust was cascading past them, making Tali hesitate. Liara stopped dead next to her, clearly frightened of running though the rain of boulders. Shepard lead the charge, Williams hot on his heels. Tali and Liara followed at once, Liara falling behind a ways as Tali pulled ahead. Rocks were pouring down all around them, smashing into the narrow catwalk, tearing away the railings. _Ancestors, don't let us die down here, _Tali pleaded as she ran. The entrance shaft almost in reach.

Shepard looked back from ahead of them, shouting as he waited for them to catch up, "Move! Move! Move!"

They were in the shaft, running up the steep slope as it warped and crushed above them, the ceiling sagging lower. Tali raised her omnitool, working it one handed to access to door panel remotely. It slid open as the team approached, allowing them to run straight out into the light of Therum's sun. The _Normandy_ hovered overhead, moving down to give them access to the cargo bay door.

_We're going to make it, _Tali thought as the continued to run, charging right up the ramp into the hold. The moment they were all on Shepard shouted into his comm-link, "Joker, swing us around to pick up the Mako before we're swimming in lava."

"Roger Commander," Joker said over the comm, "We'll get to it. Hate to see you have to buy a new paint job for it."

Tali was bent double, panting heavily. _I can't believe it. We actually did it! Keelah I thought I was going to die for sure. _She looked over at the Commander, watching him pull off his dust covered helmet. _He's amazing..._


	7. Chapter 7

**Imagine if you will, a chapter without action. If you wont, you can just scroll down for an example. The most action like moment in this is some weapon maintenance. Try not to get blown away during the high octane gun cleaning scene. It's several pages shorter than last time, due in no part to planning. As always, thanks for the views and reviews. Feedback is always welcome and suggestions considered.  
**

**Read enjoy/ fund an elaborate government program to design, build and deploy an orbital nuclear weapons platform for the sole purpose of blasting my writing into a smoldering, irradiated crater. Side benefit of making me stop with the lame jokes.**

**Oh, and thanks to queanofswords for the proof reading again.**

**

* * *

**Tali expanded her shotgun and ran her omnitool over it. _No damage. Some geth residue on it though. _Tali wiped at it with a cleaning cloth, managing to remove the congealing matter relatively easily. Satisfied with the gun's condition she collapsed and stowed it in her weapons locker on the cargo bay wall. Shepard stepped up to his locker a meter down the wall, drawing his sniper rifle for inspection. _Considering how much he uses those weapons of his, it's a wonder they aren't falling apart._ As Shepard stowed his rifle he cast a look in her direction. Tali quickly averted her eyes, not wanting to be caught staring. She quickly pulled out her pistol and began its inspection.

"You took a solid hit down there," Shepard said after a moment, eying the small scratch on her visor where the geth sniper round had impacted, "You might want to have Chakwas take a look at you."

Tali glanced up at the scratch. It was near the top of her visor by the edge of her hood, thankfully not obscuring her vision significantly, "I'm alright Commander. My suit wasn't breached so I won't be getting sick."

"I was thinking more along the lines of a concussion. Those geth rifles seem to pack a real punch. We're going to have to invest in better shielding to stand up to larger numbers of them. Regardless, it wouldn't hurt to have the doctor run a quick scan or two." Shepard had moved on to his shotgun, omnitool powered up for a scan.

"I guess not, Commander," Tali conceded. Her omnitool beeped to indicate a minor obstruction in the barrel deployment mechanism.

"By the way, Tali, you don't have to call me 'Commander' all the time."

"Oh, um, I just didn't want to be disrespectful," Tali explained, avoiding direct eye contact by peering into the side of the gun to spot the obstruction.

"Considering you're a volunteer on this mission you technically don't owe me any official courtesy by my rank. You'd have to actively insult me to be disrespectful."

"But you're the captain of this ship," Tali said incredulously. His cavalier attitude about his rank was perplexing to her. "To a quarian that entitles you to a great deal of respect."

"I'm not actually a captain, Tali. I'm not sure I'm really even a commander anymore to be honest. I suspect that being a Spectre may override my previous rank," Shepard said thoughtfully, "Anyway, it's up to you what you call me. I just wanted to let you know I'm not holding you to Alliance rank procedures."

"Right..." Tali said uncertainly. Becoming impatient with the pistol maintenance she gave it a solid whack on her palm. A tiny bit of rock dropped from the pistols workings, falling to the deck and out of sight. "I'll just head up to the conference room then, Comm—Shepard." She hurriedly stowed the now collapsed pistol and made for the elevator. As she walked she silently hoped that her stomach would stop fluttering so much when Shepard spoke to her.

It had been two days since the mission on Therum. Liara spent most of her time in the back room of the medical bay, apparently not eager to mix with the rest of the crew. Shepard, who had spoken to Liara once or twice, mentioned that it was likely related to her line of work. Spending years at a time in the middle of nowhere alone made the sudden events due to the geth rather alarming to her. Tali couldn't even imagine living that way.

_Years out on dig sites alone? How does she keep from going insane? I wonder if all asari are so comfortable with isolation._ Quarians lived in close quarters, usually only meeting new people when pilgrims returned to the fleet and asked for admittance. 'No secrets between shipmates' wasn't so much a philosophy as it was a fact of life. Quarians spent their entire lives sequestered in their suits. The sense of isolation this brought on was compensated for by being an extremely social people. Quarians almost never saw another quarians face after reaching maturity. There are only a handful of aliens who could honestly claim to have seen what a quarian truly looks like. In general only krogan and asari lived long enough that any of them would recognize an unsuited quarian as such on sight. Any reliable data on the subject was buried under centuries of useless garbage on the extranet. Many databases had removed data on the quarians altogether. It was easier for the corporations to spread propaganda about 'job stealing quarians' if it was hard to find unbiased information.

Tali shook herself out of the thoughts and tried to focus on her work. She had to stifle a yawn in the process, not wanting her coworkers to know just how tired she was. Every night after the first night she'd spent on the _Normandy,_ Tali had trouble sleeping. The _Normandy_ was a brand new ship and every component was fresh off the assembly line. Every valve, filter, and pump was pristine. Not even a single loose deck plate could be found. The sleep pods dampened the faint sounds the ship did make even further. Tali found that the silence was deafening.

The _Rayya,_ where she grew up, was a liveship. One of three massive vessels that supplied food to the entire fleet. Without the liveships operating at levels far past their original intended capacity millions of quarians would starve. The _Rayya_ was one of the Flotilla's oldest ships, dating all the way back to their exile from the homeworld and as such required constant maintenance. It seemed like everything was constantly just on the verge of failure. Systems hovered on the brink for years, requiring the efforts of the entire crew just to hold them there. The _Rayya_ had been repaired, refitted, upgraded and modified so much over the centuries that it was a miracle that any of it was compatible at this point. Tali had often wondered if the rest of the fleet knew just how precarious the situation really was. She was certain that even though she'd worked on the _Rayya_ her entire life that she still didn't know how bad things really were. In a way she was grateful for that fact.

What it all added up to was that the _Rayya_ was noisy. Ancient air filters whining at all hours while the vents they fed rattled. Water pipes and deck plates creaking, power lines humming, the sphere's rotation axis grinding, people talking and working, her bunk groaning under even her modest weight. She was used to the constant background noise that permeated the ship. The only way the _Rayya_ would be as quiet as the _Normandy_ was if all power was down and the crew was dead, leaving the ship a lifeless derelict. Images of such a scene would fill her mind and haunt her dreams in the eerie silence of the _Normandy_. It took hours to get to sleep and she woke frequently, frightened awake by the quiet.

_I have to get over it. I can't afford to be exhausted all the time. _Tali stared blankly at her console, not really taking in any of the data displayed on the screen. Fortunately the _Normandy_ was in top shape so her inattention wasn't causing any trouble. She didn't even notice that someone had entered the room until his footsteps sounded a few feet behind her. She looked over her shoulder to see that it was Shepard. His presence lifted Tali's spirits a bit, but considering how tired she was feeling that didn't amount to much. Tali turned to speak to him, pausing as she thought back to their last conversation about names.

"Oh, hello, Shepard," she said, trying and failing to keep her glumness from showing in her voice.

A look of concern crossed Shepard's face, "Are you okay?"

"I don't know... Your ship is amazing, and your crew's been really great to me. Especially your chief engineer. But I just sort of feel... out of place," Tali paused for a moment, weighing the consequences of explaining her issue. _It's better that he knows that I'm not at 100%. If he doesn't know then things could go badly if I'm sent on an away mission. _"The Normandy runs so smooth it feels like we're not even moving. And the engines are so quiet. How do you sleep at night?"

Shepard raised an eyebrow at her apparently genuine confusion, "The silence wakes you up?"

_He doesn't understand? No, I guess he wouldn't if he's only served on Alliance warships. _"Back on the Flotilla, the last thing you want to hear is silence. It means an engine's died or an air filters shut down." Tali tried to force the unsettling images from her nightmares out of her mind as she spoke. "I guess you don't have to worry about that here, but old habits die hard."

Tali shifted her weight from foot to foot, letting her eyes wander over the other engineers, "But it's more than just the silence. This ship feels so empty; it's like half the crew is missing. Back home I couldn't wait to go on my Pilgrimage. I couldn't wait to get away from the crowds. Now that I'm out here, I kind of miss them." Tali tried to keep her voice steady, but a hint of sadness sneaked into her words anyway. _I shouldn't be complaining like this. Not to the Commander._

"Sometimes we don't appreciate what we have until it's gone," Shepard said calmly. Tali thought that she caught a faint hint of emotion behind his measured tone but it was gone as soon as she noticed it.

"That's true. I'm starting to wonder if that's what the Pilgrimage is really about. It's given me a whole new perspective on my people and our culture," Tali said thoughtfully. She'd never really questioned the Pilgrimage growing up. But now that she was experiencing it she was starting to pick out the veiled meanings behind it. _I think they want us to change our perspectives, appreciate our homes, so that we don't want to leave again It certainly seems preferable to a lot of the places out here. The _Normandy_ isn't so bad though, I mean the crew is nice enough. _"You know, there's always a few who go on their Pilgrimages and never return. I always assumed something bad happened to them, but maybe they just wanted a different life."

"You do plan to return to the Migrant Fleet, right?" Shepard asked. Tali couldn't read his facial expressions well yet. He was either amused, concerned... or sleepy? Possibly... annoyed? _Damn it. Those manuals they gave for my Pilgrimage are not helping. I'm just not good at expressions. _"I could never abandon my people, Shepard." _Father would kill me. All the more reason I shouldn't be dwelling on... no. Don't go there._ "I will go back eventually. But we have to stop Saren first. Otherwise, I might not have a home to go back to."

Tali spent that night tossing and turning in her pod, trying to get comfortable. She had less than 5 hours until she had to get up for her next shift and she hadn't slept for even a moment. Lacking that total exhaustion she'd had when she'd first come aboard she simply could not get to sleep even after hours of trying. Finally Tali couldn't stand it anymore so she broke the pod seal, deciding to give up on sleeping for the moment. She wearily shuffled down the hall to the mess area, finding it disappointingly deserted. Talking with Shepard earlier that day had helped ease her discomfort about the _Normandy_ a little. Though it had escalated her discomfort about him in the process. Even with Tali being something of a loner by quarian standards, never prying into the personal matters of others unlike many of her peers, while on Pilgrimage she'd found groups of people comforting. She didn't have to talk to any of them, or even be remotely included. Something about the mere proximity to a large group of socializing people was soothing. The noise filling in the endless silence.

_If this were a quarian ship there would be someone here. There are enough shifts that someone is always off duty. _It seemed like the _Normand_y ran on a skeleton crew to her. And the entire crew were soldiers, all isolated from their friends and family. If the _Normandy_ were in the Flotilla there would be families with children, ship council meetings, a trading floor, living cubicles decorated with ornate fabric. The _Normandy_ felt so empty and sterile by comparison. _But on the other hand everything works. The decks aren't filled with containers and cubicles, there's no flickering lights. Every piece of the ship is clean, pristine and perfect. It's nice to not have to be afraid that the hull is going to give out at any moment. And then there's the Commander..._

Tali rested her elbows on the table, supporting her head on her hands. _Why do I keep thinking about __Shepard? It seems like every time my mind wanders it goes back to him. I'm being silly. It's just because he saved my life. It's only a childish fantasy... it'll pass after a while._ Tali stared morosely at the table, turning the realities of the situation over in her mind. The more she examined the impossibility of it all the more depressed she started to feel. _Even if it weren't just a fantasy, he'd never want someone like me. I'm just a quarian on Pilgrimage. No home, no money, no status, no face as far as he knows. He'd want a human, like Chief Williams. They're both soldiers, both strong, independent, brave, honorable..., kind..., handsome..._ Tali shook her head, snapping out of her thoughts. Williams had dropped out of that line of thinking at some point. _Keelah, he's not even the same species as me. He has too many fingers, weird legs, dull eyes, broad shoulders, strong biceps, nice abs—Damn it! Focus Tali! You're supposed to be getting rid of this crush, not encouraging it!_

Tali slumped forward, folding her arms under her head with a sigh. _I'll get over this too. I have a Pilgrimage to complete after this mission. Then I'm going back to the Flotilla, I'm going to join a ship and work every single day to keep the quarian people alive and safe. That's the way it is. I won't abandon my people, no matter what._

The sound of a door opening jarred Tali out of her thoughts, she raised her head from the table to listen more carefully. The door hissed shut as foot steps sounded on the deck behind her. She heard whoever it was crossing the room, headed to the food locker by the sound of it. The steps paused a moment before resuming, headed towards the mess table. _It's not time for this watch's meal, there shouldn't be anyone eating... _She twisted in her chair to see who it was as they rounded the wall.

"Commander? I—I mean, Shepard? Isn't this your sleep shift?" Tali mentally kicked herself for messing up his name.

Shepard paused his approach, looking at bit surprised for a moment. The surprise faded into what Tali guessed was a look of concern as he spoke, "I could ask you the same thing, Tali. Still having trouble getting to sleep?" Shepard resumed his pace, dropping into a chair opposite hers, a water canister in hand.

"Yes," Tali admitted, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be up like his. I'll get back to my pod."

"Relax, Tali, I'm not criticizing you. Sometimes getting out of bed for a while can help. I've had trouble with sleep myself sometimes," Shepard explained after Tali cocked her head to one side quizzically.

"Is that why you're up?" Tali regretted the question at once. _I shouldn't be asking him things like that._

"No, just thirsty." Shepard took a long drink from the water canister. He set it down again, giving her a more serious look. "Is there anything you can think of that could help with your sleep problems?"

Tali shook her head and let her gaze fall to the table. "Not really. I think it's just something I have to get used to." Tali looked around the deserted room before continuing. "Not sure I'll ever get used to how few people there are though."

"I've served on several ships in my career," Shepard said, leaning back in his chair, "Frigates, cruisers, even a dreadnought. They all had larger crews than the _Normandy,_ but they were front line war ships. The _Normandy_ is a stealth ship, and that requires a different approach to staffing."

"That makes sense," _I suppose the Alliance can afford to optimize crew arrangements. _"We don't have a choice on the Flotilla. Every ship is packed as full as possible. That's why we value what personal space we have above everything else. I can carry all my personal possessions in my pockets. ...I am carrying them all in my pockets, actually. There's a chance I'll never see the Rayya again so everything I care about had to come with me."

"I guess that's something we have in common," Shepard said before taking another swig from his water canister.

"What do you mean?"

Shepard shifted in his chair, considering how to reply for a few moments. "I won't pretend that our situations are identical, but I have little in the way of personal items myself. I've moved from assignment to assignment ever since I enlisted 11 years ago. Just about the only things I have that are mine, besides weapons and armor, are my medals."

"11 years? It must be strange, moving from place to place so often. Wait, don't Alliance soldiers get time off? To visit their homes?"

Shepard's face twitched ever so slightly at the word 'homes' though his voice stayed as even as ever when he spoke. "You're right. I always take leave somewhere new though. I don't have a permanent residence."

"What? What about Earth?" Tali blurted without thinking.

"I was only ever on Earth for training. I never lived there off-duty before or after I enlisted. I was born on Mindoir."

Tali had heard that name somewhere. _A human colony I think... Where have I heard that name? Of course! Some of the engineers mentioned it! It was raided by... Oh keelah.._ "I-isn't that the one that.. Never mind."

"It's no secret. Mindoir was attacked by batarian slavers. I was one of the survivors. My family wasn't so lucky."

"I'm sorry.." Tali began, uncertain of what else to say. _Why did I have to mention it? He's probably upset with me now._ "I shouldn't have brought it up."

"Don't worry about it," Shepard said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I've been asked about it a thousand times. I'm guessing you haven't moved much?"

"I've never lived anywhere but the _Rayya_ but I've visited other ships once or twice. Like that tugship I told you about. I was part of a team from the _Rayya_ who helped get it into better working order when it was decided it'd be more useful as a ship than as salvage. I always liked doing jobs like that. It was nice seeing a new ship, working on new parts. I'd never left the fleet until my Pilgrimage though. The _Rayya_ is the only home I ever had. Nar Rayya means 'child of the _Rayya_'."

"How long did you live there?"

"Like I said, my entire life up to my Pilgrimage, 22 years," Tali said a bit wistfully. "When I get back, I'll be joining a new ship. I'll live there for the rest of my life most likely. There's a good chance I'll never leave the Flotilla again once I return to it. Maybe for a mining operation or two, but no visiting other civilized places. It takes everyone working together to keep a lot of the Fleets older ships running. Only scouting parties leave the Flotilla to search for mineral rich planets or colonization opportunities. As an engineer, I'd be needed more on the main ships than out on a scout mission."

"It's a shame your people are so isolated. If there had been more direct contact over the centuries it might have been harder for the rumor mongers to smear the quarians reputations."

Tali sighed at that. _He's right. They see so few of us it's easy to write us off as beggars and thieves. Most aliens never get the chance to learn anything about my people._ "Humans seem a little less prejudiced against us than most. I can tell not everyone on board trusts me, but it's nothing like I've experienced elsewhere. I think they might actually mistrust Garrus and Wrex more."

"There's still a bit of bad blood between humanity and the turians over the First Contact War," Shepard explained. "I think I mentioned that the _Normandy_ was co-developed by the Hierarchy and the Alliance. The whole point was to get us used to working together, but it's not something that's going to happen overnight. As for Wrex, well, I'm sure you know about the krogan temperament. For his part Wrex seems practically calm compared to a lot of krogan I've met. Only time will really tell."

"My people have a reputation too, as thieves. Aren't yo- ...they worried I'll steal the Normandy's secrets?" Tali cursed herself for that slip. _Great, Tali. Question his judgment. If we wasn't already aware of the quarian reputations he is now. Not a smart move._

"I've never believed the rumors about quarians, Tali. I know better than that. People say crap like that about every species but their own. I've found that none of it is worth listening to. The best thing you can do with the crew is exactly what you've been doing. Work with them, talk to them, and fight beside them. Missions like this let you get the measure of a person much more than a random meeting on the street somewhere. They'll come around once they get to know you." Shepard drained the last of his water and stood up. Tali followed suit, deciding it was time to get some sleep.

"And if anyone on this crew crosses the line on with their personal bigotry, bring it to me, okay?"

"Oh, okay. I'll remember that, Shepard. Good night." Tali skirted the wall between the mess and the sleep area, making for her pod.

"Good night, Tali." Shepard said to her retreating back.

Tali let herself drop heavily into the waiting pod, tapping the activation control as soon as she hit the bedding. The window lowered into place and tinted, the pod itself tiling backwards to a more comfortable angle. Tali yawned and twisted onto her side, thinking about what Shepard had told her. _"They'll come around once they get to know you." I hope so. It'd be nice to be welcome somewhere again. At least Shepard seems to like me. Well, not _like_ me but he doesn't seem to hate me or mistrust me. _Tali let her eyes drift shut, sleep tugging at her mind despite the ever present silence. _He's so nice to me... I'll have to work harder to thank him._


	8. Chapter 8

**The last chapter I posted received a rather disturbing comment from a reader.**

"Whilst I was reading this chapter I had the strong sense that this fic is going somewhere special." **(Should I have asked before quoting that?)**

**Anyway, you wouldn't happen to know how to get there from here, would you? Seriously, I have no idea where that impression came from. I've just been making this up as I go. Thanks for the feedback anyway. Hopefully you wont be too disappointed when this ends up somewhere ordinary. Though it'll probably just go nowhere fast.  
**

**Also, sorry this one took forever but I should be able to do things more frequently now that finals are done. Expect rougher work in this one as my proofreader couldn't get around to it this time. I'll clean it up later. Oh, I have a request in terms of feedback this time. See the bottom note after reading the chapter to avoid spoilers if you're interested.  
**

**So, yeah. Read, enjoy/don't. No, I don't have an attempt at humor this time.  
**

* * *

The _Normandy_ slowly cruised through the dense asteroid field, slowly pivoting to avoid yet another collision. Tali had to admit she was impressed. Joker was safely piloting a frigate through an asteroid belt without a single impact on the hull. There were certainly chunks of rock around them that could smash their way right through their shields, but Joker always seemed to avoid them somehow._ Shepard wasn't kidding when he said Joker was the best pilot in the Alliance. Almost time for me to do my part._ Tali stepped up to the open bay door, casting a glance at the Alliance recon crew behind her. They were suited for vacuum and, to her surprise, under her command. _I knew Shepard didn't actively mistrust me, and I know why he's letting me go over there, but putting me in charge?_ Tali bounced on her toes as she saw the target come into view. An old freighter, clearly of quarian design, sitting on the cratered surface of the carbonaceous asteroid. Tali had been the one to identify the faint signature the sensors had detected as quarian. She'd immediately brought that fact to Shepard's attention, especially once it became clear that there were no life readings. Shepard had agreed it merited investigation, much to Tali's appreciation, and then put her in charge of the operation, much to her shock.

**Half an hour earlier:**

Tali stared blankly at Shepard as his words sank in. "You want **me** to lead the recon team?"

"Nobody here knows quarian ships like you do," Shepard said, "You have space walk experience, right?"

"Y-yes. My father made sure I had full training in combat, piloting and EVA on top of my engineering, mathematics, physics, programming-" Tali stopped short, silently rebuking herself for getting on a tangent. "Sorry. Yes, I can handle space walks."

"That's a lot of credentials. How much can you do exactly?"

"I'm not sure how to answer that. We don't exactly have formal education like what I've heard about while on Pilgrimage. I don't have a ...day-gree? Is that the word?"

"Degree."

"Right, that. I had a more... thorough education than most. I've been trained to perform at least competently on any ship position. I have combat training in small arms and hand to hand, as well as a little field medicine. I have lot of maintenance and repair training in pretty much any situation as well as salvage expertise. I've known all the mathematics for drive core systems since I was a child. For instance I once..." Tali trailed off. _I really shouldn't have mentioned that._

"What is it?" Shepard prodded, clearly curious.

"Well, I um... One time when I was younger I uh... got hold of some spare materials including some components containing element zero. I made a sort of model with it all, with a miniature drive core. I was a little bit off with my calculations and, um, put a hole through a bulkhead when it broke the sound barrier."

"How old were you?"

"Seven."

"You made a flight capable model ship out of spare parts that broke the sound barrier and you were only seven!" Shepard sounded equal parts shocked and impressed at her story.

"Father said something similar, before he revoked my terminal access for a month. Mother had to repair the hole. I felt so guilty about it... I'm just lucky the element zero wasn't wasted. I haven't built anything on my own since." Tali's shoulders sagged a bit as she remembered the scolding she'd gotten. _Father was so disappointed in me. Mother was upset that I'd tried to do something so dangerous on my own. I don't think I'll ever live it down. Sometimes I think father is always going to see me as the child who almost breached the hull._

"You have a lot more experience now, Tali. Maybe you could give making things another try."

Tali considered that for a moment before shaking her head. "No. It's just a waste of resources. I can't justify using materials for non-essential projects."

Shepard shrugged. "Well, it's up to you. Regardless, I think you're more than capable of handling the recon. Try to find out how long it's been there and any information about the fate of the crew."

Tali straightened up, trying to seem confident. "I'll do my best."

–

Tali stopped her nervous bouncing as the _Normandy_ dropped in low. As soon as they were close enough Tali motioned for the others to follow her.

"Making the drop now."

Joker's voice came through her helmet radio. "Roger that. The Commander wants regular updates on the investigation. We're out of here in two hours."

"Understood. Recon out." Tali stepped off the edge of the bay and let herself drift slowly to the hull of the abandoned ship. The four Alliance marines were quick behind her, drawing assault rifles on the way down. Tali powered her omnitool and swept it in a slow arc over the hull while the scanners routed the critical data into an overlay on her HUD. She traced the inactive power lines with her eyes, quickly locating the nearest hatch. "This way." She stepped slowly across the surface, wary of using too much force lest she exceed her boots ability to anchor her to the hull. The asteroid's gravity was weak enough that she could probably jump a few meters straight up with little effort. She gingerly knelt by the hatch controls and placed her omnitool bearing hand on the panel. _No power to the outer hatch. I'll have to set off the bolts._ "I have to blow the panel. Stand clear."

"Got it," the lead marine, Private Franklin, motioned the others back.

Tali stepped back herself and pointed her tool at the panel. A quick entry, a pulse of light and the bolts detonated. Tali watched the panel floating off with regret. _What a waste._ She shook her head and moved back to the hatch, seizing the now exposed manual control. _Standard control: pull and crank._ A sharp tug flipped the handle into place so she could turn the crank, slowly grinding the locks open. _It's stiff, I don't think it's been used in a long time. There._ The locks disengaged letting the hatch open at last.

"_Normandy,_ this is recon. We have access to the interior. Proceeding inside." Tali stepped down onto the ladder, cautiously lowering herself into the darkened interior.

–

It was pitch black inside and completely silent. The air had long ago been evacuated from the interior for reasons unknown so not even the sounds of her own footsteps carried to Tali's ears. Only the lights on her omnitool illuminated the halls and rooms of the derelict. Tali couldn't shake the unease that had hung over her head since the moment she'd looked into the open hatch. Any second she expected to round a corner and collide with a lifeless body drifting in the low gravity. _What in the galaxy happened here? No hull breaches, no blood stains, not even a stay paste tube. 10 minutes over here and I haven't even-  
_

"Franklin to Tali'Zorah."

Tali jumped, propelling herself several inches off the deck. It took a few moments to regain her footing and activate her comm unit.

"Tali here. Did you find something?"

"We got the door to the engineering deck open, ma'am." came the professionally calm reply.

_I guess I'm the only one nervous about this. I have to keep my helmet on straight._ "I'll be right there. Don't touch any of the controls until I arrive."

"Roger. Franklin out."

Tali crossed the room quickly, skirting empty cargo containers on her way back into the main deck. Rounding the corner she nearly jumped out of her suit as she bumped into a marine.

"Sorry, ma'am." the female soldier said as she stepped to the side to let Tali pass.

Tali's heart was still pounding when she finally reached engineering. A pair of marines flanked the door, Franklin illuminating the hall while the other shone his light onto the core.

"Any sign of the crew, ma'am?" Franklin asked.

"No. No evidence of anything at all. Any visible damage down here?"

"No, ma'am. Just dust."

Tali walked into the dark room, sweeping her tool over the dead consoles and core. _Everything looks fine. No ruptures I can see, no broken parts, no sign of hurried repairs. It wasn't an attack, at least not a conventional one._ Tali stepped up to the main console and pulled a miniature power cell from one of her pockets. The console panel came off easily, allowing her to patch in the cell and restore power to the immediately connected systems. _Wont last long, have to hurry._ The lavender holographic display came to life, glitching a little from the reduced power. Tali punched in commands, pulling up the last inputs made to the console. _Damn, record was wiped from this one. But..._ Tali's eyes swept over the glowing characters, sizing up the problem. _ It looks like there's power left in the backup batteries, I could bring basic systems back online. I should probably report this._

"Recon to _Normandy_."

"We have you recon. Having fun over in the space coffin?" Joker was never what one could call professional, but he was usually amusing. At the moment however, his sarcastic comment resonated uncomfortably with the apprehension Tali was feeling. She tried to brush it off and refocus her mind on her report.

"No signs of the crew yet, or any explanation for this ships being here. There's still some power left in the batteries. If I can bring the main computer back online I may be able to find out more."

The was a short pause before a reply came, from Shepard rather than Joker. "Alright, Tali, give it a shot. Report in when you've got things up an running."

"Understood, Commander. Recon out." Tali couldn't help but have her spirits lift at the sound of Shepard's voice. _When I have things up and running. When, not if. Is he that sure of my skills? ..No, no. It's a perfectly normal thing to say, don't be stupid. Now isn't the time to be nursing a crush, especially one on an alien captain you're working for. Now, let me see what I can do with this console..._

It took about 3 minutes for Tali to coax the batteries into releasing their reserves into the rest of the ship. The auxiliary systems looked as if they'd been stripped down quite a bit for parts to keep the primary power systems in operation. It was nothing Tali hadn't dealt with in the past on the Flotilla. _This ship is actually in pretty good shape for it's age. If everything checks out I'll ask Shepard for permission to contact the Migrant Fleet. They should know that there's a usable ship out here just waiting to be picked up. A shame I don't know anyone else on Pilgrimage... it'd make a good gift. I'm not supposed to help other pilgrims anyway, so I guess it doesn't really matter._ Tali hit the final controls and smiled in satisfaction as the life support and computer systems sputtered to life. Dim emergency lighting came on and terminals blinked into operation.

"Recon to _Normandy_, I've reactivated reserve power. Computers are coming online."

"Nice work, Tali," Shepard said. Tali stood a little straighter at the approval in his voice, a brief moment of pride filling her before her doubt and modesty beat it back down. "Can you access the ships logs?"

Tali's tapped her way through various menus before sighing. "It doesn't look like it. A few connections didn't take the sudden jolt of electricity too well. I'll have to go up to the bridge to access anything useful."

"Understood. Report in once you're there. _Normandy_ out."

Tali adjusted her radio to contact the rest of the team. "All team members, meet up at the bridge. I'm uploading the location to your computers." A few quick jabs at her omnitool and the data was away. Tali headed out of the engineering room, noting that Franklin and his comrade had already acted on her orders and were nowhere in sight. _I'm glad I got some lights back on. I'll be a lot happier when this __mission is done and I can get back to a ship with a crew on it._

The marines were waiting outside the bridge when Tali arrived. Franklin turned to her at once.

"Thought we should wait outside until you got here, ma'am. Didn't want to disturb anything until you got a look at it."

Tali was surprised by Franklin. He didn't seem to have any problems working under a quarian. Not that he showed anyway. For all Tali knew he hated her and every alien in the galaxy. Either way it was a nice change of pace to have someone at least be civil to her aside from Shepard. Tali nodded to him and proceeded into the bridge. The consoles came to life at her touch, seemingly normal until her eyes landed on the main console. A strange device resembling an OSD reader had been fitted to it. Numerous wires were somewhat haphazardly linking the unit into the main data feeds. Tali swept her omnitool over it, keying in a full analysis protocol. She was about to start working on the computer while the analysis ran but her omnitool beeped at her. _It can't be done yet._ Confused, she reactivated the display and started reading. As her eyes moved over the data they became progressively wider. Eventually her jaw joined in and she gaped open mouthed at the results being displayed. The analysis had barely started when the omnitool had registered one of the many items flagged as being high priority. She fumbled with the device, double checking the reading. _Keelah. It really is!_

"Recon to _Normandy_!"

"_Normandy_ here, what have you found?"

"You're never going to believe this, Shepard. There's some kind of jury rigged disk reader installed on the main console. If my readings are right there's a disk inside. It's Prothean."

Silence filled the channel for a moment. "Did you say Prothean? You've found a Prothean data disk?"

"It looks that way. I'm pulling up the memory files on the main computer. Maybe I can find out where they found it." Tali quickly accessed the ships records, laying them all out on the main screen. She tapped the top file, opening it to reveal..nothing. Frowning, Tali selected the next one. Still nothing. Every one she checked was empty, files without content. "Something is wrong. Every single file has been wiped. The headings are still there but all the data is gone. The computer core is empty."

"Nothing? No clues about the crew at all?"

"No. Not even a crew roster." Tali pulled up a general status report, running her eyes over the schematics. "The emergency beacon was running off very low power reserves, that's the signature we picked up. The only other thing here is the data disk."

"Can you recover the disk? I know the Alliance would love to study it."

"No problem." Tali hesitated, looking around at the ship for a moment. _Should I ask him? It's not for me, it's for my people. I have to ask. I have to help the Fleet in any way I can._ "Commander, I know you probably want to salvage the ship for parts but.. it is quarian. And the Migrant Fleet always needs more ships. I know my people would be grateful to have it back."

"Are you saying you want to take it as a Pilgrimage gift?"

"No, I promised to help track down Saren, and I'm going to keep my promise. I can send a message to the Flotilla giving the location and situation of the ship. They can decide what to do from there."

"Fair enough. I'm sure your people need it more than we do. I am going to have to insist on the data disk though. I have standing orders to recover any and all Prothean technology."

"Understood. We'll be done here in a few minutes. Recon out."

–

Tali carried the disk in a secure container she'd found in the cargo hold of the ship like the priceless treasure it was. An intact Prothean data disk was a rare find. They were such highly prized artifacts due in no small part to this scarcity. Finding any piece of Prothean technology was a mixed blessing as while it might yield great technological benefit, it also tended to make the finder a target. People would kill to get their hands on such items and torture the owners for the location of the find. _That can't be what happened though. If it were, why would the disk be left behind? What in the galaxy happened?_ The _Normandy_ moved in as low as Joker could bring it, the cargo ramp almost touching the top of the ship as Tali emerged last from the upper hatch. She tapped the close control and waited to make sure the hatch actually sealed itself. With that signal the program she'd left in the computer kicked in, shutting down the power aside from the weak beacon that had initially drawn them in. _It should help any ship the Flotilla sends pinpoint it when they get here. I sent all the data I had but still, it is an asteroid field._ Tali turned her back on the hatch, glad to be leaving the lifeless hulk behind as she stepped up onto the ramp after the marines.

Shepard was waiting in the bay alongside Liara, and appeared to be speaking with her. As Tali crossed the mass effect barrier holding in the ships air she was able to hear them. "-sure Tali was careful retrieving it."

Liara looked a little nervous. "I do not mean to question her skills but those disks can be very fragile. I've seen just how little.." Liara trailed off as she noticed Tali's approach.

"Good work over there, Tali." Shepard said. "Quite a find you've made."

"I guess," Tali tried to dismiss the flutter in her stomach as it came to nag her again. "Here it is." She held out the case to Shepard who took it carefully. "It looked to be intact when I took it out and I used a suspension case. The mass effect fields should have kept it safe while I carried it back."

"That was a good idea," Liara said, visibly relieved at the precautions Tali had taken with the precious item. "Commander, I suggest that it stay in that container until it is delivered to a dedicated facility. A find like this should be handled in a clean room with proper equipment."

Shepard nodded. "You can set up the storage. You're the only one aboard with experience in archeology as far as I know. This is your department."

"Of course. I'll see to it right away. Thank you, Shepard." Liara took the offered case as gently as a mother would hold a newborn before vanishing into the elevator.

Shepard turned his focus back to Tali. "So, any ideas on what happened to the crew?"

"None. There's nothing over there. No bodies, no messages, no missing escape pods, not even a bullet hole or blood stain. It's like they just left. I can't explain it. No quarian would abandon a perfectly good ship, not by choice." Tali shook her head. "The name of the ship is still on the hull. With luck the fleet records will be able to tell them something."

–

Pitch black. The _Rayya_ was in total darkness. Not a sound echoed through the empty halls. Tali ran through the deserted corridors, shining her omnitool light into one vacant room after another, her footsteps making no sound in the total vacuum. "Father! Where are you!" No reply came through the the open comm channel. "Captain! Anyone!" Tali rounded a corner, staring into another empty corridor which she recognized as leading to an external docking port. The hatch to a docked ship was open. The frightened quarian hurried through a pair of open airlocks emerging into another dark ship. She swept the light to the left seeing the _Normandy_ bridge. Joker wasn't there.

"Shepard," she called, "Shepard where are you?" She moved down the hall to the CIC waving her light over the darkened consoles. "Shepard? Please, can you hear me?" Tali reached out to touch the main console, her finger making a trail through a layer of dust. She spun on her heel, rushing back up to the bridge to look out the windows. A featureless black void stared back at her. Not one single star shone in the infinite darkness beyond the hull. She couldn't even see the _Rayya_ docked with the _Normandy_ mere meters away. She returned to the airlock, pointing her omnitool out into the _Rayya_. Instead of illuminating the deck of the liveship, the light vanished out into a yawning abyss. The _Rayya_ was gone. Turning back to the CIC she stared in horror as darkness swallowed her light; the ship no longer existed aft of the airlock. The void pressed in around her, consuming the rest _Normandy_ as it advanced. She backed up to the wall in terror as the blackness threatened to encompass her as well.

Tali started to scream.

Tali's eyes snapped open and she sat up quickly. Her helmet struck the pod window making her drop back to the bedding with a surprised yelp. Her heart was pounding as she triggered the releases, practically jumping out of her pod. She fought to slow down her breath as she saw the lights were on, though nobody was in sight. _It was just a nightmare. Everything is fine, just calm down..._ Despite feeling stupid for being so upset by a dream she was in no hurry to get back in her pod. She quietly made her way down the hall to the mess area, skirting the wall the mess table. A single figure sat there, pouring over a data tablet held in one hand, taking a sip from a water canister held in the other. _Again? Does he have sleep problems too?_

"Shepard?"

He looked up from his tablet, his usual stoic expression in place. "Still having trouble getting to sleep?"

"No, well yes. I mean I managed to get to sleep a little while ago but.." Tali shook her head, "It's nothing."

"Nightmares?"

Tali shifted her weight from side to side, suddenly feeling very self conscious. "...Yes."

Shepard gave her what she thought was an understanding look. "You want to talk about it?"

"I don't want to bother you..." _I shouldn't even have admitted it._

"I wouldn't offer if I wasn't serious about it," Shepard set down the tablet and leaned back in his chair. "I like to keep an open door policy with my crew."

Tali sank into a chair opposite the commander, avoiding looking him directly in the eyes. "It's just a stupid dream. ..You know how I told you I that the quiet has been keeping me awake? I think I mentioned that on the Flotilla silence means something is wrong, and that for the _Rayya_ to be as quiet as the _Normandy_ the ship would have to be dead and abandoned."

Shepard nodded. "I remember you mentioning..." Comprehension struck him and he leaned forward. "Just like the derelict you boarded today."

"Exactly like that. In my dream I was on the _Rayya_ but it was like that ship. No lights, no air, no people. The _Rayya_ was docked with the _Normandy_ and it was empty too and... there were no stars outside." Tali shook her head, trying to clear the disturbing image of empty space from her memory. "And then I saw the _Rayya_ had vanished and the _Normandy_ started to disappear around me. There was nothing. I was all alone." Tali bowed her head. _I must sound like a child who had a bad dream. What am I doing, complaining to a commander? I shouldn't be acting like this. Father would never approve._

Shepard was quiet for a moment. "We're heading into the Citadel to deliver the artifact and offload all the salvaged gear we picked up from that merc camp the other day. We could find you a nice, noisy, hotel room for a night so you can get caught up on sleep during the layover if you like."

Tali looked up, surprised at the offer. "N-no, I'll be fine. Seeing the crowds might be nice though.. Could I.. I mean if it's not too much trouble..."

"You're more than welcome to go ashore. I don't think it would be a good idea to go alone though. There could still be a few people after you after all that happened with Fist."

"Actually, I was wondering more if I could.. well.. tag along with you?" _What are you doing Tali? What a stupid thing to ask! He'd never wan-_

"Sure," Shepard said with small smile. "I should warn you, it'll probably be boring."

Tali shrugged at that. "A little boring wouldn't be so bad after all the excitement so far. Besides," Tali's hands started to fidget under the table, "if there is anyone still holding a grudge against me you're the one I'd want watching my back."

A slight smile tugged at the corner of Shepard's mouth, though he made no comment on her statement. "By the way, I already got the engineering stock requests from Adams, here." Shepard tapped a few commands into his tablet, transmitting a copy to Tali's omnitool. "Take a look at it at before we get there, see if there's anything you can add."

"Of course, I'd be happy to help." Tali's spirits had risen quite a bit already, but the idea that Shepard valued her personal input on the engineering supply requests gave her a new flicker of pride. _I'll do my best to help. It'll be nice to have a list and then be able to actually get the materials on it._ "Thank you, Shepard. For listening and.. talking."

"No problem. Here, something else for your omnitool." Shepard powered his up, sending her a small bundle of interactive files.

"What's this?" she asked curiously as she accepted the transfer.

"Some things to pass the time on sleepless nights when nobody is around to talk with. It's a few old games from Earth. About as simple as it gets, but still popular even after a few centuries. Worth a try at least."

"Thank you. I'll definitely give them a try." Tali rose from the table, smiling behind her mask. "I think I'll try to sleep now. Good night, Shepard."

"Good night, Tali. Sleep well."

Tali settled back into her pod, opening one of the files Shepard had given her as the pod tilted back. She routed the images through the pod systems, the visual projecting onto the inside of the tinted window. _Solitaire? I wonder what kind of game this is._ She eyed the arrangement of decorated rectangles for a moment beforeshe tapped the "instructions" icon and started to read.

* * *

**So yeah, that review request. If it's not too much trouble I'd appreciate a bit of feedback on the nightmare. I've always heard that one should only write about things that one has experienced. I've never had a nightmare, making me some kind of freak, I'm sure. I don't know if I got a nightmare feel to it. Like I said, review appreciated, but not demanded.**

**Edit: Guess I'm weird in the dream department. Not a single night passes that I don't remember what I dream (at least in short term memory) but I don't remember a single nightmare. As for it being coherant I wasn't really sure how to approach that. The fear I'm trying to address is isolation and I couldn't think of how to add discontinuity without breaking the isolation. I might rework the nightmare later. Thanks for the feedback.  
**


	9. Chapter 9

**It's been a loong time. How have you been? I've been really busy being dead... **

**But enough Portal 2 quotes. It's finally time for a new chapter. For whatever reason this one took me a long time to get done. Yes, I know I said things might go faster with me on break. I was wrong. Problem is that unlike the title, I do not write in a linear fashion. Thanks for all the feedback on the last one, especially on the nightmare scene. As always, I welcome any and all feedback you might have. ****This chapter is very dialog heavy. Just a fair warning if you don't like that sort of thing. With a bit of luck the next chapter wont take over a month to make.**

**Read, enjoy/loathe with a passion that would make Cassanova blush.**

**EDIT: Apparantly the elevator arguement scene is not conveying what I wanted it to. Any feedback that can be directed towards this issue would be appreciated. Check the reviews if you're not sure what I'm talking about. I was going more for "Shepard hates racism" than "The quarians are blameless".**

**EDIT 2, The Important one: I forgot to mention before, that there could be problems with the next chapter. I play Mass Effect on 360. A 360 that decided to have an error and die. It's not RRoD, only one light blinks red. Upshot is, I can't directly reference the game for information anymore. I have to rely on posted videos and try to find one with the right characters in it. There is little chance of repair in the forseeable future, so expect a high probably of long delays. Sorry.**

* * *

The _Normandy_ glided into dock at the Citadel for 10 hours of restocking, refueling, and drive charge dumping. The _Normandy_ was quite capable of discharging into a planetary magnetic field and of skimming a gas giant for fuel but the process was much faster with the Citadels systems. There was also the matter of recovered equipment to offload and various supplies required. Not to mention the Prothean data disk. They couldn't afford to waste time with shore leave however. The loss of contact with Feros had been confirmed as a geth attack and Shepard wanted to get there yesterday.

Tali double and triple checked the fuel line connection before logging out of her terminal. _It would be enough time to get some restful sleep, but I doubt anywhere would allow a quarian to stay anyway. Besides that, this is a chance to see the Citadel without being on the run. How can I pass that up?_ She smiled behind her visor as she made her way out of engineering to the elevator. _And we're going to be looking at omnitools and amps and all kinds of other tech at some point. Brand new equipment to study when it's on the _Normandy. The elevator began its leisurely climb to the upper decks, carrying the excited quarian to what she hoped would be a pleasant day.

Tali arrived at the CIC last out of those going ashore. Liara was standing by the airlock cradling the Prothean data disk container as if it were made of glass. A very disinterested looking Wrex towered beside her, apparently bored by the idea of playing bodyguard for the asari and her cargo. Garrus glanced up briefly from his omnitool as Tali approached but didn't bother with a greeting. Liara on the other hand gave Tali an awkward smile between apprehensive glances at her krogan escort. _I can't blame her. Wrex makes me uneasy too. I'm just happy to be ignored by him._ Tali turned her attention forward to the cockpit where Shepard stood by Joker's chair.

"You'll live through a pit stop, Joker."

"Oh yeah, sure. You get to go waltz around the Citadel picking up the ladies with the whole 'Galactic Hero' shtick. Meanwhile I get to sit here in this chair, doing nothing. This thing isn't as comfortable as it looks."

Shepard shook his head. "I know for a fact that you'll be playing Galaxy of Fantasy the moment I'm out that airlock. Most people don't get 10 hour breaks in the middle of the week, so stop complaining."

With that, Shepard turned to the squad members assembled at the airlock. "All right, you all have your assignments and you know when we're leaving. Let's move out." The mismatched group filed into the airlock behind him to wait for the pressurization cycle to run.

"Equalizing interior pressure with exterior atmosphere... Logged: The commanding officer is ashore. XO Pressley has the deck." As the VI finished the outer doors slid smoothly open to the docking pier. Tali hung back to allow the others to exit first before bringing up the rear. She was confused to see the group stop just outside the tunnel, a feeling compounded when she saw Shepard snap into a human salute. _What's going on?_

"I still serve the Alliance, sir. As a Spectre, I can advance our interests to the Council."

As Tali got closer she saw who Shepard was talking to. _Some kind of Alliance officer? He must outrank Shepard if he gets called "sir"._

"Hmph. You still know what color your blood is, Shepard?"

At this point Tali decided she didn't like this man, no matter who he was.

"I don't begrudge the politicians' decision to throw you to the Council. It's an... opportunity. I do begrudge this," the stranger gestured to the docked _Normandy_, "over designed piece of tin, though."

_Over designed? Over designed! The _Normandy _is an incredible ship! _Tali really didn't like him now. From the rigidity that entered Shepard's posture she guessed he was reaching a similar conclusion.

"The _Normandy_ is a fine ship, sir. She's served us well so far."

"It's a gimmick, Commander. Useless in a stand-up fight." _It's a stealth ship, not a dreadnought. What does he expect?_ "This... experiment... diverted billions from our appropriations bills. For the same price we could have had a heavy cruiser." _Did he say billions?_ "But no, we had to make nice to the turians. Throw money at a co-developed boondoggle. I'm here to make an inspection, Commander. Normandy is an Alliance warship. I intend to see she's up to snuff."

"I'm sure you'll find everything in order, Admiral." Shepard said flatly.

"I'll just bet." the stranger replied with obvious disdain. "Wait here. I won't be long."

–

Tali tried to sort out some extremely mixed feelings about the entire exchange as the elevator descended into the wards. The Admiral's attitude had upset her, particularly how his greatest issue with the _Normandy_ ended up being the alien crew members. He'd even questioned that other species "hearts and minds" were worth winning. Tali wasn't sure if she should be more or less offended than the others when the Admiral hadn't even seen fit to mention a quarian presence. But then again, Shepard had taken each of his arguments apart. In the end he'd even talked the Admiral into making a less negative report than he'd planned. _He certainly has a way with words. This day has not started out well. Admiral or not, that man was acting like a real bosh-_

"The quarians endangered the entire galaxy when they let the geth break free." Garrus said, casually interrupting her thoughts. "I hope your people are properly contrite, Tali."

Tali resisted a sudden urge to kick the arrogant turian in the face. _Let? LET! They killed billions of us in the war! We didn't LET them do anything! _"As the turians are properly contrite for releasing the genophage on the krogan?" she shot back. That had always been a sore point for the quarians. Her people had lost everything for accidentally creating AI, including their embassy. The turians committed premeditated murder on an entire sapient species and got a council seat.

"You're assuming that sterilizing them was a mistake," Garrus replied easily.

Tali glared at the deck in the following silence as the long elevator ride wore on, fuming over Garrus's insults. _The way he talks it's like he blames ME for the geth! What did I do to deserve the blame for that? Just because I'm a quarian that means I have to take the blame for everything the geth do? If we had control over them they wouldn't have driven us from our home world in the first place. How much do we have to suffer before it's enough!_

"You know, Garrus, you make a good point."

Tali's head popped up at once. She stared at Shepard in disbelief, feeling betrayed by his words. _What does he mean? How can he say that! I thought Shepard, of all people, was above this!_

"That a species should take responsibility for it's actions, I mean. We humans have a saying: 'You broke it, you bought it'." The turian nodded, making satisfied smirk with his mandibles. Shepard turned to face Garrus with a hard look in his eyes. "In which case, you owe me an apology."

Garrus returned Shepard's glare with a blank stare. "For what?"

"The First Contact War. You turians killed a lot of my people and occupied one of our planets. Though that's the least of your problems. I'll have to arrest you." Tali's initial confusion and betrayal began to dissipate as she saw where Shepard was going with this.

Garrus's smug satisfaction was long gone, replaced by bewilderment. "What are you talking about, Commander?"

"The genophage. Biological weapons are immoral and illegal. You sterilized an entire species, _turian_." Garrus actually flinched at the venom Shepard put into his species name. Tali edged back as the argument seemed in danger of escalation. "While I'm at it, I think I'll arrest every turian I meet. You're all guilty of crimes against humanity and the krogan."

"That's absurd!" Garrus snapped back, "I wasn't even born when the genophage was deployed! I had nothing to do with the Relay 314 Incident either! You can't blame me for it!"

Shepard stepped forward and clamped his hand onto the front of the turian's armor, pulling sharply so that they were face to face. "Explain that to Tali." He shoved Garrus back against the wall of the elevator and gestured to the quarian standing awkwardly in the corner. "Go ahead. Explain to her how blameless you are. Tell her how turians don't have to take responsibility for the actions of their race. Why don't you just lay out exactly why only _lesser_ species have to pay the price for the actions of their long dead ancestors."

Shepard's challenge was answered with silence. For once Garrus seemed to be at a complete loss for words. Tali wasn't watching the stunned turian, however. At the moment she had eyes only for Shepard. _I can't believe what he just said! He defended my people, defended me! He called out Garrus on his damned racism and made him look like the ignorant hypocrite that he is! He really does believe what he told me about equality._ Tali let her eyes wander over his chiseled features, from the neat, black hair, to his set jaw, and back up to those green eyes. _I shouldn't have doubted him._

The elevator slid to a stop at a market level in the wards and Shepard was out the door the moment it opened. Tali followed close on his heels, sparing only a single look back at the elevator. Garrus still stood inside it, though stood was not quite the proper word. The former C-Sec agent was slumped against the back wall of the elevator, head slightly bowed. Tali's mind scanned through the training on reading alien emotions from her Pilgrimage lessons. Turians were actually much easier for her to read than humans as with their naturally rigid scales they emoted more with their body language. Quarian infants were able to see their parents faces in clean rooms, allowing them to learn how to make facial expressions for that hopeful future when they could breathe the free air of the home world again. Being stuck in suits forced them to learn to emote more through gestures and posture as adults, not to mention losing some the knack for facial expressions. Everything about his posture said the same thing: shame.

Try as she might, despite the constant abuse from aliens the galaxy over and the snide comments the turian had made only minutes earlier, Tali couldn't manage to feel good about it. She looked away to fix her eyes on Shepard's back and tried to focus on not getting lost in the crowds. The tingling warmth that had seemed to fill her chest at Shepard's defense of her people had been replaced by a sullen weight of guilt. Tali had a quick wit and was not afraid to speak her mind to almost anyone. But she had never liked making people feel bad after an argument. Quarians were family, fights were not supposed to be bitter or hateful between them. Garrus may have been an alien and something of a bosh'tet to her, but he was still her shipmate. _Shipmates aren't supposed to fight._

"Sorry about that, Tali." Shepard said after a few minutes of silence. "It seems I wasn't clear enough with my stance on racism when he came aboard."

"It's not your fault, Shepard," Tali assured him hastily, "Garrus is just a.. well.."

"Hotheaded, opinionated, loudmouth?"

"Something like that."

Shepard had slowed his pace to a more leisurely walk which allowed Tali to fall into step beside him after a moments indecision. "Maybe he'll think twice next time before he condemns a species for its history. Assuming he got the message this time."

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Tali mustered the confidence to speak again. "What you said back there... thank you."

"You act like nobody has stuck up for you before." Tali could tell he wasn't serious but she still winced at the statement.

"To tell the truth... nobody ever has. Nobody covers for an admiral's daughter. I make a mistake, I own it. I get pushed around, I stand up for myself. I do my best, I have to do better next time. I exceed expectations, I didn't exceed them enough. I work every waking minute and it's never once good enough for-" Tali cut herself off abruptly. Her tone had been getting increasingly bitter as she'd gone on and she'd completely lost sight of what she was saying. _You idiot! You're not supposed to complain like that!_ She clenched her teeth to bite back an angry sigh. _I'm not _allowed_ to complain. Ancestors forbid I should ever just get to be a normal person for once._

"I'm sorry, Tali. I didn't mean to upset you."

"It's.. it's nothing you did, Shepard. Thank you for what you said to Garrus. Let's just.. let's just get these supplies."

–

Shepard was discussing the supplies list with the volus merchant Expat. He'd sometimes ask for Tali's opinion on the alternate suggestions made by the ever so slightly shady salesman. The rest of time time Tali was practically drooling over the omnitools on display. Omnitools were difficult to manufacture with the Flotilla's resources, most being acquired second, third, or fourth hand from alien used goods merchants. Tali's omnitool actually came from a load of defective Blue Wire I's from Aldrin Labs. The Fleet had got them for next to nothing as the retailers had botched up their orders and couldn't return them. They'd been left to collect dust in a warehouse until they were brought home as a Pilgrimage gift. Tali had done the repairs on hers personally. Despite her talent, the tool was already a few years out of date when she got it and the years of heavy use had the fabrication module and computer processors wearing out.

_Keelah, what wouldn't I give to have one of those... The Logic Arrest V has quintuple the shield enhancing capacity of mine without any overclocking. Not to mention those new medical system drivers and medigel dispensers. Those extra percentage points of accuracy can really stretch out the antibiotics. Superior power systems and heat dissipation too. _"Tali." _Oooo... what's that do? I wonder how they fit that in there... _"Tali?" _I'd love to see how that part works. _"**Tali.**"

Tali jumped as Shepard's voice pulled her out of her thoughts. She tore her eyes away from the Logic Arrest's stats with a stammered apology. "I-I'm sorry, Shepard. I got distracted."

"I noticed that," Shepard said. He'd tried to sound stern but it came out amused instead. "We're about done here. What's that you're looking at anyway?"

"N-nothing!" She tried to send the display back to the main menu, but Shepard beat her to it.

"A new omnitool?" Shepard raised an eyebrow at the quarian as she shifted her weight around nervously. "A decent one too. I noticed that you suggested upgrading the omnitools of the teams tech users. Some very specific suggestions on who would benefit most from what hardware and software. And it was very, very, specifically stated that you didn't need a new one."

"I don't.. I don't really.. _need _a new one," Tali said in a would be casual voice. "It still works."

"So, if I were to scan it I wouldn't see that the fabrication unit is about to seize up?"

"It's got a few more months left in it! I can... Wait, how did you know that?"

"A lucky guess that you just confirmed."

Tali buried her visor in her hands with a groan. _He tricked me! _"I'll get by with it. I'm used to using salvaged tech."

Shepard shook his head and turned back to Expat. "Add another omnitool to the order. A Logic Arrest V, please."

"Certainly, Earth-clan. However, if I may draw your attention a little higher up the menu..." The stocky volus adjusted the product display with the controls behind the counter. Tali's eyes widened a bit as the stats for a Logic Arrest VIII began to scroll before them. "These just came in a week or two ago. A dramatic improvement over the previous models. It's a larger investment, but in your line of work it doesn't pay to be thrifty on your equipment. It also comes with a standard 80 day warranty and, for a limited time only, a complimentary 100 units of omnigel." Tali's eyes finally landed on the price as the volus finished. _Keelah!_

"Shepard, there's no way I need something that expensive!"

"We'll take it. Add it to the bill."

"Most excellent. I hope that you find it pleasing," Expat added with a courteous nod to Tali.

Tali was briefly taken aback by this display of manners. It didn't take her long to straighten herself out and resume her protests. "You shouldn't do this, Shepard. I don't deserve-"

"Tali, you're helping on what is possibly the single most important mission in centuries when you could just as easily go back to your Pilgrimage. I say you've earned it. If you can't accept that, then think of it this way. It that worn out tool of yours finally dies in the middle of a firefight, people could get killed. You might get killed. This tool will let you help the mission better than before."

_...That makes sense actually. The last thing I want is to let everyone down. And it is a really nice tool... I bet I could even break into an armature with that thing. If I could do that..._ "Alright. You win. ...Thank you, Shepard."

"I should be thanking you for your hard work so far, but you're welcome anyway." Shepard's eyes drifted to the weapon slung in the small of Tali's back. "Now, about that shotgun."

_Oh no... Here we go again._

–

The door to Doctor Michel's clinic opened and Shepard led the way inside. The red-haired doctor looked up and quickly rose from the desk chair to greet them.

"Commander, how did things go?"

"He wont be bothering you anymore," Shepard assured her.

Dr. Michel visibly relaxed at the news. "Really? That's a great relief Commander, thank you. I can't pay you for your help but I can give you a discount on any supplies you purchase here."

Shepard nodded and moved to the next topic. "The thug said he worked for a man named Banes. Sound familiar?"

"Banes? I wonder if he means Armistan Banes. We worked together a long time ago."

"What can you tell me about him?"

"Last I heard the Alliance military was contracting him for some research in the Traverse."

"Maybe your Captain Anderson can tell us something?" Tali chimed in.

"We'll see what the captain can tell us," Shepard agreed.

"I meant to ask before... you're Tali, right?" the Doctor asked.

"Um, yes. I'm sorry about getting you in trouble with Fist's men before, Doctor."

Dr. Michel waved Tali's apology off. "Don't be. Fist is the one who should apologize. Though, from what I heard he's in no condition to do that now. Did you..?"

"No, no." Tali said quickly. "That was, um... I'm not sure." She looked at Shepard questioningly.

"A krogan bounty hunter."

"I see." The doctors eyes landed on the suit patch on Tali's left arm. "Were there any other complications?"

Tali's hand drifted up to the patch. "I was lucky I got here so fast, and that you knew about quarian biology. I got off with a mild fever. Thank you again."

Dr. Michel smiled "I'm glad to hear it. Oh, and Commander. Thank Garrus again for me if you see him."

"I will. We need be going now."

"Of course. Have a pleasant day, and give me a call if you ever need anything."

–

Shepard watched as Tali gleefully fiddled with her new omnitool. Her nightly paste tube hung, forgotten, from her helmet as she worked the controls. Shepard couldn't quite shake an odd feeling about Tali. Her technical skills were truly impressive, practically prodigal for someone her age. She was well trained in combat, but obviously lacking in experience. Still, she managed to keep a level head and do her part admirably. There was something off about her behavior, though. She'd given as good as she got from Garrus when he baited her about the geth. In fact, Tali seemed to have little to no difficulty dealing with the crew. Engineering loved her, even if Adams claimed he was afraid of losing his job to her in a few months. Even the slightly xenophobic Ashley didn't seem to have an issue with Tali being on the team. All in all, she was calm and levelheaded but willing to stick up for herself or her people at a moments notice.

A different side of Tali came up when she was talking with Shepard. She'd get nervous and start stammering, seemingly worried about offending him. _I'd think she was afraid of me, but you don't generally talk about your nightmares to people you're afraid of. You don't ask to tag along on supply runs with them either. Or have long conversations about your home and culture._ Tali finally seemed to notice she still had a meal stuck into her helmet and powered down her tool. Shepard turned his eyes back down to his own food, prodding it with the standard issue spork as he attempted to find a good rationale for his crew members behavior. _Probably because I'm the de facto captain. She just doesn't want to upset the boss._

After a few minutes of silence Tali spoke up. "I'm sorry about earlier. If I'd been paying more attention you wouldn't have had to spend all those extra credits."

"You needed the new equipment more than anyone else. Besides, you're an engineer. It's like taking a kid to a candy shop."

Tali cocked her head at that statement. "Caan-dee?" _That word doesn't translate. I hope I pronounced it clearly enough. It's always trouble when things slip through the database._

"How is that not in the database? Candy is a type of food." Tali continued to stare blankly at him. "A kind of treat." She maintained the same stare. "A snack or dessert." Stare. "Full of sugar? Tastes sweet? You seriously have no idea what I'm talking about?"

_I really don't know what he's saying._ _Half of those words came through as gibberish. What is a "treat"? Let alone a "snack" or "dessert". And what does "sweet" taste like?_ "I'm sorry. I really don't know what any of that means. All I've ever eaten is nutrient paste. All plant paste tastes the same, and I only had meat once so I have no frame of reference."

"Your people only eat that paste? Why?"

"It's safer." Tali said with a shrug. "It's easier to sterilize and get into our suits without exposure. We can't support animals on the Flotilla, so we only get meat pastes when we go through a system with dextro life in it. The only other things I've tasted is water and cleaning gel."

"Is that like toothpaste?"

"I don't know, but it's used to clean our teeth if that's what you mean. A fluid gel with harder chunks suspended in it. We chew the bits and swish the rest. Then we eat it. I'm told it took years to find an edible mix that could do the job."

"Humans use toothpaste and a small brush to scrub our teeth. We spit it out when we're done though."

"Spit it out? But that's so wasteful! I-I mean.." Tali regretted her words the moment they left her mouth. "I didn't mean to insult your people or anything. I'm sorry."

Shepard waved his hand dismissively. "Don't worry about it. It is wasteful now that you mention it. I'd never really thought about it."

Tali redirected her attention to her dinner, or tried to at least. Shepard's inquiry about her food had reminded her of something she'd been curious about. She looked down the table to where Williams and Alenko were talking over their meals. Alenko's rations were clearly of the same manufacture, but the portion size was considerably larger. Shepard's meal was equally large compared to the other humans. _Why do they get more food? The other males have the smaller meals too, so it can't be gender. Rank wouldn't make sense either, Pressley is a higher rank than Alenko and his meals are smaller too._ Tali swallowed her current mouthful of paste. _I'm just going to have to ask._

"Shepard, may I ask you something?"

"Go ahead."

"I'm just curious about your food. You and Lieutenant Alenko both have bigger meals than the others. Why?"

Shepard glanced down at his tray. "Oh, that? We're biotics."

Tali cocked her head to the side. "Why does that mean you get more food?"

Shepard set down his spork and leaned back, considering his answer. "Using biotics isn't as easy as it looks. Humans need implants, amplifiers and years of training in order to develop any useful amount of ability. Generating a controlled field requires intense focus and skill. We basically have to be able to set off nerves at will and then maintain our concentration on those patterns to keep the effect going. The entire process takes a lot of energy and stamina. If we ate the same amount of food as a normal soldier we'd collapse from exhaustion after only a few uses of our abilities."

"I had no idea it was like that. I've seen you do some amazing things with your biotics, but you never seemed to get tired."

"If you see me fight in a longer battle you might get to see me tire. But that's why Alliance biotics carry energy drinks in combat instead of plain water." Shepard paused long enough to take a drink of water. "I take it you haven't met many biotics?"

Tali shook her head. "On the Flotilla, any explosion powerful enough to spread dust-form Element Zero would probably destroy the ship it was on. Even if it didn't we wear these environmental suits all the time. I could count the number of quarian biotics born in the last 300 years on my hands." She glanced down at her three fingered hands and then to Shepard's ten digits before going on. "I guess you could do it with one hand though," she added with an amused note in her voice.

The smallest of smiles crossed Shepard's face at her comment. "Seems like you either have three fingers or five fingers per hand in this galaxy. I think the drell may be the only exception. I'm not sure if they have five or four."

"I've never met a drell. I wonder what they're like?"

"I've seen one or two, never gotten to know any. But I've met a lot of different people from different species all across the galaxy, and you know what I've found?"

"What?" Tali was curious to hear an aliens perspective on the galaxy at large. Every quarian came back from Pilgrimage with a take on the galaxy, and while her people loved to talk and debate on the details, the general theme was always the same. Aliens were trouble and the less one had to do with them the better.

"Stereotypes are wrong as often as they are right, so there's no point to them. I try to see people as individuals, not as just another of their species."

Tali shifted uncomfortably. Shepard had just proven himself to be more fair and open-minded then almost every adult quarian she had ever met. _It was always, "asari all do this" and "hanar are always like that". And we blame them all for being racist. I'm starting to wonder if we're any better when we call all aliens "trouble". Shepard isn't trouble to me at all. He could have let me die and then taken the evidence from my omnitool. Or he could have turned away my help after I gave him the evidence. He's a good person, I know it._

"You're right," Tali agreed after a moment. "I was given lessons before Pilgrimage. How to apply for jobs, where to avoid, that kind of thing. Very little information on humanity was available and it all said that you were aggressive, territorial and out to take over as much of the galaxy as you could."

"What do you think now?"

Tali glanced back and forth between the table and Shepard's eyes as she went on. "Doctor Michel was the first one of any species to treat me like a person since I started on Pilgrimage. You saved my life from those assassins. Your crew has been really great to me. I'm going to have a lot to tell those instructors when I go home."

"Glad to hear we've made a good first impression. If the Flotilla is lacking in information on us, I'm sure you can find a lot of information on our culture and history on the extranet. Wouldn't make much of a gift, of course."

"Maybe not, but I should bring back anything I can, including information like that. The Flotilla has terrible extranet access for the most part. Nobody ever wants to give us a good connection."

"If we succeed in our mission, perhaps you'll change some opinions on the quarians."

"It's possible." Tali tried to inject her words with confidence. In truth she knew exactly what kind of difference she'd make for her people's image.

None at all.

–

_I don't know how to feel about today._ Tali tapped the display projected on the sleep pod window as she waited for drowsiness to reach her. _It started out terrible. That Admiral insulting Shepard, the _Normandy, _and the crew. Garrus insulting my people. But the way Shepard stood up for me... No. No, Tali._ She gave the diagram she was working on a rather vicious jab with her finger. _He stood up to Garrus because he doesn't like racism. It's not because of me. It could have been any other quarian. Get over it. He only bought me that new omnitool and shotgun so that I could be more useful for the mission. Just be happy with how things are. You have a commanding officer who treats you with respect, and you're serving on one of the most advanced ships in the galaxy on a mission that will save the quarian race even if they never acknowledge it. It may not make a good gift, but at least it's something I can be proud of. And once I get over this stupid crush, I'll still have made a friend. I think that's good enough._


	10. Chapter 10

****

Wow, it's been a while huh? I'll spare the details beyond the fact that for a while my 360 was dead and things were happening. But I have it back and have banished some writers block for now so who knows? Maybe I'll be less delayed. I'd appreciate feedback of course, assuming anyone out there remembers this story at all. Sorry for the long dry spell for any readers out there who have been following this. Hopefully you wont be too disappointed. Oh, and to address the reviews of the last chapter: I considered rewriting the elevator scene but it grew out to 3 pages in no time flat. Even the Citadel's elevators aren't THAT slow. See this chapter for what I did instead. I hope this helps clarify things a bit. Edit: In response to a review, looked around online. Found this sentence: " With a mass effect drive, roughly a dozen light years can be traversed in the course of a days cruise." Needless to say, I'm changing some details now.

**Read, enjoy/hate and possibly review either way.**

**

* * *

**Tali watched the drive charge slowly counting higher and higher as the power cells stimulated the Element Zero core into generating the mass effect needed for FTL flight. If she had been impressed with the _Normandy_ before, now she was truly in awe. They were currently traveling at a full 1 light year per hour and she could still barely even feel the engine vibration through the deck. The average person would probably not be impressed at the difference between .7 and 1, but the power needed for FTL increased exponentially the faster the ship went. Even at this blinding speed the galaxy was a huge place. None the less, Tali couldn't help but feel excited as she marveled at the ships performance. _I wish the Flotilla had ships like this. I'd do anything to serve on a ship like the _Normandy_ for the rest of my life. If we only had more resources..._

She sighed heavily as she tapped her way through the various checks on the drive systems. _But we don't. We used to be one of the most technologically advanced races, now we have to scavenge for anything we can use. Maybe one day we can finally start building things of our own again. If we could just get the rights to one planet with enough resources... The Council would never allow it. They kicked us out, but the moment we try to get a planet suddenly they're leaning over our shoulders and threatening us. _Tali's omnitool beeped, interrupting her sour train of thought. She powered the display and saw the cause: A message from her father.

_What? Why would father send me a message? _She and her father had never been close, and the last thing she expected while on Pilgrimage was a message from home. A message from him in particular hadn't even occurred to her as a possibility. _Has something happened? I can't think what would make him contact me out of the black like this._ Tali hesitated at the point of opening the message and glanced around at the rest of the engineering crew. _It doesn't matter what it is. I'm on duty. I'm not going to just drop my work to check messages. Especially since father was the one who drilled that rule into my head in the first place._

Tali tried to turn her mind back to her duties. Every single time the readings lulled her thoughts drifted to the message. _Father is a busy man. If he's taking the time to tell me something it must be important. Oh keelah, I hope nothing's happened. What if someone is sick? I don't even want to think what it'd be like coming home without Auntie Raan there._ Tali bit her lip anxiously as she considered the prospect. The harder she tired to banish it, the more insistent it became. _Calm down! Worrying wont change anything. You're supposed to be a trained member of the Migrant Fleet. Father had you trained by the marines as well as by some of the best engineers we have. You've been taught to deal with this sort of thing with discipline and reason. You are NOT supposed to be standing around, wringing your hands like an idiot!_

Tali wrenched her hands apart and forced herself to still them. _There. Focus. It's time to stop acting like a child and start behaving like an adult. You will do your job until the shift ends. Then you will see what your father has to say. It's also time you stopped this childish crush-_

"Good morning, Tali." Shepard's familiar voice completely derailed her thoughts in an instant. She turned to see him walking past on his way to speak to Engineer Adams.

"Good morning, Shepard." Tali replied with new found cheer, even giving a small wave as he walked by. Her mood had finished its 180 before she even turned back to her terminal, leaving her smiling like an idiot. It took her a few moments to recall what she had been thinking about, at which point she dropped her head into her hands with an exasperated sigh. _Damn it, Tali!_

When the next meal time came around Tali didn't go to the mess with the rest of the engineering staff on her shift. Instead, she settled into an unoccupied corner of the hold, seated on the deck with her back to the wall, and powered up her omnitool. She stared at the heading for a long moment before summoning her nerve and opening it. Reading the first line drew a sigh of relief, as surely any terrible news would have been the first thing to be said. Reading further into it crushed that relief to replace it with the usual disappointment. She shut down the display with an angry wave of her hand and fixed the deck in front of her with a glare. _I should have known! The only message on my Pilgrimage and he spends it telling me how badly I've done so far. I find a functional ship for the Flotilla and all he says is that I should have held onto it as part of my gift._ Tali drew her legs up to her chest and crossed her arms over her knees._ What if someone else found it first? Then the Fleet doesn't get a ship at all! He told me himself that a ship wouldn't be enough, so what does it matter anyway?_

Tali sighed and let her head drop to her arms. She respected her father as a leader, a soldier and a scientist. In many ways she had looked up to him as an example when she was a child. He'd taught her duty, responsibility and that she should always strive for excellence, lessons that she'd taken to heart. For all that, she was acutely aware that he wasn't much of a father. Work had always been more important to him than family ever was. After Tali's mother had died he'd just become more distant, leaving Tali alone on the Rayya for months at a time while he worked out on the lab ships. She knew he cared in some way and that she was being childish. Try as she might, however, she couldn't abandon the hope that one day, he might give her the approval she wanted.

Tali's thoughts were interrupted by a voice. "Uh, Tali? You got a minute?"

Tali's head snapped up to see Garrus standing in front of her. "What?" she snapped before shaking her head. "Sorry. I was just... Is there something you need?"

Garrus shifted from side to side, flicking his mandibles erratically. "Yeah. About the other day. What I said in the elevator? I just wanted to apologize."

Tali stared blankly up at the turian for a long moment. "What?"

"Turians are brought up to own our actions. Denying a crime is worse than doing it in the first place to us. We also keep detailed history and own that as well. It's... just part of who we are. I shouldn't be holding another species to our rules."

"Didn't sound like you were owning the First Contact War, or the genophage," Tali said. It was a shot, and were she in a better mood she might have felt bad about it. At the moment she was still too angry to care.

"I'm still not convinced the genophage was a mistake," Garrus retorted, "That was self preservation. The Relay 314 Incident... That was a mistake. It's like arresting an infant for a crime, when they can't even read. Humanity didn't know the law, they weren't even subject to it before gaining an embassy. Whoever ordered that attack was out of line. I was being hypocritical for not admitting that." Garrus's posture assumed that same shamed stance he'd shown in the elevator. "It's not something I'm proud of."

That got Tali's attention. _So, he was just ashamed he didn't live up to his species standards? _"And what about my people?"

"I'm not sure what to think now," Garrus admitted, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "You didn't make the geth, but your ancestors did. If you were turian, I'd say you should share the blame. But you're not turian, and your people _have_ already been punished for 300 years..."

"Yes. We have been. Every single one of us lives on ships, a hull breach away from extinction. We can't get jobs, we can't own a planet, we can't even take our helmets off anymore!"

"Why DO you wear that helmet all the time?"

Tali took a deep breath to steady her voice before going on. "Because we've been living in sterile environments for so long that our immune systems have atrophied. Taking my helmet off here would probably make me sick or even kill me. THAT is what we live with every single day."

To his credit, Garrus looked extremely discomfited with that revelation. "So, your people are forever wandering, and now they couldn't settle anywhere if they wanted to." Garrus' mandibles sagged in what Tali thought was a saddened expression of some type. "I'm sorry."

"Just remember that the next time you start talking about my people."

Garrus simply nodded and excused himself. Tali leaned back and rested her head against the wall, trying to let go of her anger. _Maybe he's not so bad after all. I shouldn't expect everyone to drop their prejudice overnight, that's not fair of me. Shepard's right. I just have to be the best quarian I can be and show them that I deserve equality. At least Shepard already likes me. Well, he doesn't dislike me, anyway. I wonder how much he likes me...?_

Tali finally headed up to deck two for her meal. It didn't take her very long to eat her concentrated nutrient paste compared to the other crew members meals, so her delaying wouldn't be a problem. On the other hand, she'd become fond of drawing out her eating time since she'd been on Pilgrimage. On the Flotilla most meals were usually hurried or taken on duty. There was always more work to do and they just didn't have the luxury of sitting around to talk over food. _That's something I think I might miss when I go home. It's nice to have so much less pressure to hurry and fix everything._ As the elevator door opened Tali picked up the various conversations via her helmets audio enhancers.

"...still don't feel good about having Vakarian, Wrex and T'soni aboard, LT."

_That's Williams. I got the feeling that... wait. What about me?_

Alenko echoed that unspoken question. "You didn't mention Tali. You're not worried about her?"

"Not... really. No." Williams said slowly.

"I'd have thought you might blame her for the geth."

That seemed to give Williams pause as it was a long minute before she spoke again. "I thought about that. But I've put up with crap for my family history for years. If Shepard can ignore that, I can ignore the quarian's past."

"Glad to hear it, Chief. I've not spoken to her much myself, but Shepard seems to think she's alright. Without her giving us that evidence this whole mission wouldn't be possible anyway."

"Got a point there. She's good in a fight, and hates those synthetic bastards as much as I do."

"Shepard says the rest are fine too. He's a good judge of character."

"Maybe," Williams conceded, before settling back into a more professional tone. "I'm still going to keep my eyes on the others, just in case. But I won't let it affect my duties either way."

"Good. We have enough problems with Saren and the geth."

Tali felt considerably better as she finally moved to the mess area for her food. _That's two more people who don't think I'm some kind of threat or something. This day is starting to get a bit better._

–

Tali drummed her fingers on her work station impatiently. Logically speaking she hadn't expected to be on the ground every time a mission came up. She'd even been left behind once or twice already like when dealing with some slaving ring they'd been sent after. As it turned out the asari diplomat who'd made the request had lied to Shepard. Tali still had trouble believing anyone could try to kill one of their family members, never mind resorting to tricking a Spectre to do it, which was borderline suicide if the stories were to be believed. They'd picked up a fair number of supplies from them that would fetch more credits on their next stop, but just the idea of being an accessory to something like that made her skin crawl. Not that she blamed Shepard. He had thought he was taking out a group of slavers to rescue a hostage. It wasn't as though the slavers didn't deserve what they'd gotten anyway. At least, that's what Tali had told herself.

This time was different though. These weren't two bit slavers equipped for hit and run raids. Geth used large numbers and heavy artillery at every opportunity they got. Tali knew more about them than anyone else on the team and was certain that her skills could be invaluable in the fight. Alenko was competent enough with some tech, but Tali knew she was better. She hadn't had the nerve to point that out to Shepard, of course. She also had to admit that Shepard had made a good point before going that those were human colonists out there under attack by an alien species. If the first people to show up weren't human there could well be a misunderstanding ending in bloodshed. With that in mind it made sense to take Williams and Alenko, but Tali still wished that she could be out there. With the _Normandy_ in dock there was quite literally nothing for her to do.

"No matter how many times you run that diagnostic it's going to tell you the same thing."

Tali jerked out of her thoughts at Adams words. _I wasn't even paying attention to the diagnostic. What am I doing?_ "Right, sorry."

Adams cast her a sidelong glance. "You know you aren't exactly required to stay down here all the time. We had a fully staffed section to start with."

"Am I in the way?"

"Nah, nothing like that. Like the Commander said, you're a real asset to the team. All I'm saying is that I don't have any work for you right now, so you might as well relax."

"Relax?" Tali said with the same tone she might have used in reply to a suggestion to take off her suit and hang out in a hospital ward full of sick aliens. "There must be _something_ that needs done!"

At that Adams turned to Tali directly with a lopsided smile on his face. "In all my years in the Alliance, this is the first time I've ever heard anyone complain about having no work to do."

Tali stared at him, dumbfounded. "This happens often?"

"All the time," Adams said casually. "Especially on a new ship like this. Even then everyone is always looking forward to their next leave."

"Shepard mentioned "leave" time before. Migrant Fleet Marines will get some time off combat duty to spend time back on their home ship, but they still work. Everyone works every day on the Flotilla. That just how things are."

"You don't have any holidays?"

Tali tilted her head as her translator failed once again to provide her with a modern khelish equivalent. "What's a 'haw-lee-days'?"

Adams looked distinctly nonplussed at the question. "Well, on Earth we have these days where we get time off work. A lot of them are anniversaries of specific events or from some religion."

If anyone could have seen Tali's face, they might have been amused at the slack jawed expression she sported. "Your people have entire days where you don't work?"

"Quite a few. Not everyone gets them off of course. Someone has to keep things running, right?"

Tali tried to process what Adams was telling her to little avail. The very concept of an entire day doing nothing constructive was more alien than a hanar control panel she'd been hired to help repair earlier in her Pilgrimage. Considering the hanar were about as physically different from quarians as it was possible to get, that was saying something. _They have days where they don't work at all? How is that possible? I mean, what do they even do?_ "What do you do if you don't work?"

"Depends on the holiday. Each of the older ones has it's own traditions. Lots of food and alcohol is a pretty safe bet."

"Alcohol? But that's a waste of resources!" Tali exclaimed. To her mind Adams was piling absurdity on top of absurdity. It was nearing the point where she would suspect a prank was being played on her. "I was told that people out here drank it, but I never really believed... All it does is impair reasoning! It can even kill you!"

Tali had drawn the attention of most of the engineering team at this point. They looked at baffled as she felt.

"You mean you've never had a drink?" a man named Carl chimed in.

"Of course not," Tali replied, "Wastes like that aren't allowed. If something isn't required, we don't have it. I'd never participate-"

"Relax, Tali," Adams cut in, "He wasn't insulting you. Things are different out here."

Tali shook her head in disbelief. "I guess so. I never imagined just how different it would be though. Days without work, spent eating plentiful food and drinking alcohol. It's like something out of fiction."

Before the discussion could continue, Jokers voice came over the comm system. "Attention ground team. The Commander wants everyone geared up and ground side ASAP."

"Well, that's not fiction." Adams said. "Good luck out there, Tali."

"Thanks." Tali logged out of her terminal and started up the hall to the cargo bay. _I wonder what's happening out there? Doesn't matter. Whatever needs done, I'll do it._

–

Zhu's Hope was a wreck. Tali had expected the place to be damaged from the geth assault, but from what she could tell the place was already a ruin when the colonists had first arrived. Now it was little more than broken stone composite and scrap metal. The damaged freighter was the most intact piece of technology to be seen. At a glance she could tell that their water main was down and they were without electricity. _That must be why I'm here. Hopefully I'll be able to help these people get up and running again._

"Colony's tougher than it looks." Wrex rumbled a ways behind her. To her left, she could see Garrus nodding in silent agreement.

"These people are brave, but the geth are relentless." Tali added quietly. "My people know this better than anyone."

"From what I have seen, they are in good hands now." Liara ventured. The asari looked slightly uncomfortable with the armor she now wore, but managed to retain some of that calm her people were known for.

The group rounded the end of the crashed ship to see the Shepard's team in discussion with a pair of colonists. Shepard turned to the rest of the squad as they closed in. "We've dealt with the main geth force in the tower for the moment, but this colony isn't secure yet. There are more in the tunnels, along with a transmitter that we're going to take out. The colony is also without power, water and their food supplies are low. Wrex, I'm guessing you're familiar with hunting varren?" The hulking krogan nodded his confirmation. "Then you're with me. Tali, I don't know what shape the water valves will be in, or exactly what to look for in terms of power cells."

"Right. I should be able to handle things if they're not totally destroyed."

"Good. The rest of you, team up and guard the colony perimeter. If those geth drop another wave I don't want them anywhere near the colonists, got it?" An assortment of nods, and affirming phrases answers his orders. "Alright, move out."

–

Tali brought up the rear as the team moved steadily down the stairs to the tunnels. She held her pistol at the ready in one hand, while the other hovered over a pocket full of tech mines. As they turned the corner onto the next flight her radar flashed erratically. "Commander, there's an active jamming field here."

"I see it," Shepard replied. "Stay sharp, and check your-"

"Oh God! They're everywhere!"

Tali's head snapped around to locate the source of the yell. Her eyes landed on a female human running up the stairs towards them. Before she could do anything a series of pulse rounds impacted the woman's back. A geth recon drone hovered into clear view only to be quickly dispatched by a blast from Wrex's shotgun. The sound of metal joints powered by synthetic muscles heralded the arrival of both a standard trooper and a wall crawling geth.

Tali made to fling an overload mine, drawing the disk from her pocket and pulling back for the throw. Her HUD dissolved into static, displaying only a system crash alert. _What the-_ Tali stumbled backwards as several pulse rounds impacted her armor directly, doubling her over. _My shields are __down!_She staggered into cover and attempted to power her omnitool, only to find that refused to respond as well. A glance at her pistol showed that it's overheat warning was on too. "Shepard, my... everything is down!"

"Stay down." Shepard ordered. With a swift gesture he biotically yanked the hopper out of the air and into line with the barrel of his shotgun. A single blast ended the fight as Wrex had already finished pulverizing the trooper. "Tali, you alright? What hit you?"

"I'm not sure but-" her HUD came back to life before her eyes. She raised her forearm to confirm that her omnitool was indeed working as well. "Keelah, that's better. Something that geth used made my equipment crash. It even caused a false weapon overheat signal. I've never seen such a comprehensive tech weapon."

"You back online now?"

"Yes, everything checks out. I'm ready whenever you are."

"Good. Keep an eye out for more of those hoppers. It was the one that hit you."

Tali's eyes fell on the wiry geth sprawled out on the floor. She'd seen them before on Therum, though not quite this close. _It's not like any geth from the time of the rebellion. It's a totally new form. I wish I had more time to study it, but we have to keep moving._

"Here's the next water valve."

"Right, I'll get it working again." Tali set to work examining the valve at once. While it would be faster just to turn them on and hope for the best, there was always a risk associated with such hasty actions. A quick safety check and possibly an application of omni-gel if needed were all it took to ensure that there wouldn't be a catastrophic rupture. The colony couldn't afford any more trouble right now. Tali looked up, about to tell Shepard that everything checked out when her radar went berserk again. "Radar is jammed!"

As if to punctuate that sentence, a pair of geth rockets streaked down the corridor and struck Shepard squarely in the back. The marine was thrown off his feet to land in a heap against the wall. A synthetic stuttering indicated more geth were closing in along the narrow passageway. Wrex charged into their ranks with an almost feral growl. His biotic enhanced punches tossed several troopers aside like toys until the battlemaster came toe to toe with a powerful destroyer unit. Four geth that managed to survive Wrex's passage rose to their feet, surveyed the scene and decided that the quarian crouched next to Shepard was their top target.

Tali watched the proximity display on her HUD as her counter jamming program began to clear the interference. Four geth were drawing ever closer to where she crouched beside Shepard. She drew and checked her shotgun and took a deep breath. _Hard and fast. No mistakes. _She primed a pair of tech mines one handed. _Overload and sabotage._ _Don't give them a chance to get a good line of fire._The lead geth had closed to under a meter. _Now!_

Tali tossed an overload mine over the short wall between her and the geth. A loud snap of electricity later and she was in motion. She rose and planted a hand on the top of her cover, vaulting over it with her legs outstretched. Both feet caught the lead geth in the chest bringing it crashing to the floor. She let her momentum carry her with it and into a crouch, perched on its chest plate with her shotgun against its neck. A single blast severed the thick cable and triggered the self-destruct. Not missing a beat she drew her pistol one handed and started firing both weapons into the nearest geth. Without shields to protect it the pair of weapons made short work of the standard trooper model. By now the remaining pair of geth had trained their rifles on her and opened fire. Tali dropped the pistol and flung her second tech mine before her shields reached 50%. With their weapons disabled, the geth simply adjusted their grips on the sleek rifles and advanced, prepared to bludgeon her to death.

The closest unit was rewarded for its change in tactics with a series of shotgun blasts to the torso. The smooth armor buckled under the assault, white conductive fluid spraying from various ruptured hoses. As that geth collapsed in a sparking heap the second unit halted its advance. The aperture of its optics narrowed and, to Tali's surprise, the unit moved backwards, out of effective shotgun range. _If it gets it's rifle working again I'm in trouble. What should I..._ An almost devilish smile formed on her hidden face as a solution presented itself. _I hope I haven't lost my skill_. She drew the knife from her boot and flung it at the backpedaling geth. An instant later she let out a "Hah!" of triumph as the sharp blade embedded itself in the geth's glowing eye. The blinded unit let out a stuttering sound and fell, activating its self-destruct protocol to prevent the now severely disadvantaged trooper's memory from being hacked.

Tali scooped up and holstered her discarded pistol and moved to assist Shepard. To her surprise he was already getting to his feet. "I'm alright," he said before she could even voice the question. "Where's-"

A geth shock troop smashed against the wall beside them in a spray of shrapnel and white liquid. Shepard tracked the flightpath back to its source before speaking again. "Never mind. You all right, Wrex?" The hulking krogan shot Shepard and Tali a glance from the far end of the hall. He gave a curt nod and went back to freeing his fist from the chest cavity of his last victim.

"What about you, Shepard?" Tali inquired. She craned her neck to examine the scorched back of his armor. "Do you need any medi-gel?"

"It just knocked the wind out of me. Those shield modulators you picked out were worth the investment." Shepard gave Tali a quick once over before going on. "Good work on those geth. You may have missed your calling as a marine."

"Oh, thank you, Shepard." Tali said, feeling a bit flustered at such a compliment coming from someone like him. "I actually trained with the Migrant Fleet Marines for the better part of a year before Pilgrimage. I've done a lot more training in these kinds of close quarters compared to someplace like Therum."

"I'll keep that in mind." Shepard stooped to collect his shotgun. "Form up, we're moving out!"

Tali fell into line behind Shepard as they started up the now geth strewn passage towards Wrex. She paused only to retrieve her knife and attempt to wipe off the white liquid on the geth's body. To her annoyance the armored shell was not very useful in a cleaning capacity. _I'll worry about this later. Can't fall behind. _She reluctantly sheathed the contaminated blade and hurried back into formation behind Shepard and Wrex.


	11. Chapter 11

****

**Yeah, for those of your who still remember this story, I apologize. I've had a writers block so substantial you could have caved a statue out of it. I'm hoping that getting this woefully inadequate chapter over and done with will help. I make no promises of any kind as to when more will happen. Hopefully I'll have finished ME1 before ME3 arrives.**

**Read, enjoy/hate, explain why.**

**

* * *

**

Tali wasn't sure what was more disturbing about the events of the day so far. The sight of a human man that had been driven past the breaking point into some form of psychosis, or the fact that after meeting him and then fighting geth, krogan and varren, she was worrying about how she was going to clean all the blood out of her hood.

_I am either losing my mind as well, or I'm getting used to this. On second thought, I'm not entirely sure those two are mutually exclusive. _She paused momentarily to adjust her grip on the heavy power cell under her right arm as it had been slipping a bit further with each step. _Salvaging parts from a defunct piece of equipment, now there's something I know how to do. Keelah, I can't believe I actually miss salvage duty. A few months ago I'd have jumped at the chance to do something else. Whoever came up with the Pilgrimage idea was clever, no doubt about that._ Once satisfied that the final staircase wouldn't cause her to drop the much needed cell, she resumed her pace behind Shepard, following through the final stretch of decaying necropolis back into Zhu's Hope

"Tali, get those cells in place, inform Davin Reynolds that the alpha varren is dead, then assist as needed." Tali nodded her acknowledgment and set about hauling off the power cells without further ado. "Wrex, Garrus, you're with me," Shepard continued, "We're going to hit the ExoGeni building. Kaiden, Ash, Liara, you're on guard duty, protect the colony until we return. Joker, I'm sending you coordinates, I want the Mako there ASAP."

Tali set down the last power cell by the colonies generator with a relived sigh. She was in excellent shape but between the fighting and hauling the power cells all the way back up to Zhu's Hope, she was grateful for a moments rest. _I don't know how Shepard does it. Wrex I can understand, krogan are built for this kind of thing. Maybe humans are well suited to this kind of work, too? Chief Williams and Lieutenant Alenko are certainly tough themselves. Of course they could be above average._ Tali shook herself lightly and refocused her eyes on the damaged equipment. _That's enough day dreaming._

"Do you need any help?" Tali offered.

The human mechanic shook her head. "To be honest, I'd rather you took your guns and kept watch," she said wearily. "If the geth get through again, we're dead with or without the generator."

Unable to fault the woman's logic, Tali drew her shotgun. "Right. Let me know if you do need help though."

–

Tali swept her eyes over the wrecked cargo ship that filled the center of Zhu's Hope. _It doesn't look all that bad. The hull is mostly intact at least. Geth weapons can disrupt electronics quite badly though. It'll probably need new wiring, maybe even a new core._ Tali glanced over her soldier at a colonist monitoring a terminal that seemed to be linked into the ships computers. _If she'd just let me take a look at that, maybe I could do something. The way she reacted, you'd think I'd asked to hack her omnitool __so that it did nothing but give her electric shocks every 5 seconds. _She sighed and resumed her patrol. _I just hope Shepard comes back in one piece._Noticing a rather awkward looking Liara walking a parallel route, Tali lengthened her stride to catch up.

"Everything alright, Liara?"

"Ah, hello, Miss Zorah," Liara greeted her after a poorly disguised jump of surprise. "Were you able to get the generator fixed?"

"Right now I'm more useful as a guard it seems," Tali replied with a shrug. "I can't blame the colonists for wanting me on security. I probably have more combat training than them."

"I see. I'm glad I'm not the only one out here. This planet makes me... uneasy."

"Agreed." Tali said, though she made an effort to keep any trepidation out of her voice. She gestured to the walkway to indicate they could keep walking and fell into step beside the asari.

"I'm afraid my combat skills are rather lacking," Liara admitted. "Most of my self defense training was in biotics. I'm rather useless with anything bigger than a pistol."

"Biotics are useful enough. I saw how you helped with that krogan on Therum."

"You mean when I wasn't cowering behind a console? I doubt I did more than stun him anyway," Liara said ruefully. "Had Commander Shepard not been so quick to finish him, I doubt I'd have been able to manage it again."

"You say that like it's a bad thing!" Tali retorted. "What stuns a krogan would kill anything else. As for Shepard... he has a knack for saving people."

The pair rounded the walkway corner and descended the few short steps back to ground level. Some of the colonists cast them nervous looks as they passed.

"I cannot even imagine what it must be like," Liara said quietly. "To watch as your home is torn down around you."

"The geth ruin every world they go to," Tali agreed.

"It is strange, though. There is a human woman in the ship who appears to be ill. It's as if something is causing her pain, but there were no obvious wounds. When I offered to examine her, she refused."

Tali paused in her patrol to give Liara a confused look that was in all likelihood rendered entirely pointless by her visor. "Why?"

"I do not know. Perhaps it is normal for humans under stress? I confess I don't know much about them."

"Neither do I," Tali admitted. "There was a man down in the tunnels who I think has lost his mind. Hopefully he is the exception."

"Perhaps a discussion for a less... volatile day?"

"Good point. We should get back to our patrols."

"Yes. Good luck."

"Same to you." Tali called to the asari's retreating back. _Another reason to doubt what I was taught. "Maiden asari are all promiscuous strippers or mercs" they said. Were any of the species lessons I was given true? Like she said, another day. _She gave her shotgun a cursory spot check and resumed her steady pace around the colony. Aside from the crackling of the various fires in the periphery, the air was still and quiet. The colonists kept their focus resolutely on their tasks with an almost disturbing intensity. _It might just be the stress. I can't even imagine..._Tali's eyes landed on the woman stationed at the ship console.

The colonist was different than when she had refused Tali's aid, or even when Tali had passed her minutes ago. Where before she'd stood stiffly with just an hint of exhaustion, now she was hunched over and trembling. Her hands moved unsteadily on the controls as though the simple motions caused her pain. _I wonder what's wrong?_ Tali made to move to the woman when she heard a creaking sound beside her. One of the ships modules was rising, tilting up and off the ground. Beneath it was a stairwell leading down into the lower reaches of the tower beneath them.

"What are you doing?" Tali said, marching straight up to the woman. The colonist had other ideas, slipping around the console and out of reach. "Hey, wait-!" Movement in the corner of her vision had Tali spin on the spot, shotgun raised.

"Who's there?" Tali called. "Come out!" The motions were unchanged; slow, and accompanied by a quiet shuffling. After a few moments a bipedal figure moved out into daylight. Tali took an involuntary step back as it became clear that this was no colonist. It possessed a scrawny, emaciated frame covered by pitted gray skin that didn't quite seem to fit properly, always either stretched too tight or left to sag. The arms that were slowly stretching out before it ended not in the five fingered hands of a human, but rather in four, long, claw-like digits. It's jaws were lipless with hollow cheeks that almost, but not quite, mimicked that of a human. It possessed only a warped vestige of those strange human ears and the nose was a simple hole stuck in the middle of the withered face, though that was nothing compared to the eyes. The blackened skin around the eyelids was sunk deep into the sockets, and the lids themselves opened to nothing but darkness. A horrible gurgling moan issued from the things throat as it slowly advanced.

Tali recoiled in revulsion from the hideous creature, a reaction bolstered by the noxious smell that penetrated her masks olfactory filters. "Stay back!" Tali commanded. "What are you? What do you want?" Her only answer was a second throaty gurgle. Tali's hand left the barrel of her shotgun to activate the comlink. "Lieutenant Alenko!"

"Alenko here, I saw the cargo module move, what's the situation?"

"One of the colonists moved it. Some kind of creature came out of the lower levels, I have no-"

With an unnatural speed, the abomination lunged forward. Tali's trigger finger pulled on reflex at the abrupt attack. With only one hand on the shotgun, the recoil made the quarian stagger but most of the shot still impacted the creature, toppling it backwards.

"It's hostile!" Tali nearly shouted over the open channel. "Repeat, I have an unknown hostile over here." A gurgling groan brought her eyes back onto the downed creature. Slowly but surely it was pulling itself upright.

"Understood. Do not let it harm the colonists." Kaiden's voice answered. Not waiting to be told twice, Tali opened fire. The creatures hide withstood a further three nearly point blank blasts with only minor apparent damage. The fourth blast finally took its toll, rending the creatures torso asunder in a flurry of gray flesh and thick, green fluid.

"Target down." The words were scarcely out of her mouth when the open channel came to life, accompanied by the sound of gunfire.

"By the goddess!"

"LT, the colonists just went nuts!"

"Fall back to the _Normandy_!" Alenko ordered sharply. "Do not use lethal force unless- Damn it!"

"What's going on?" Tali asked. "Lieutenant?"

"You heard him!" Willams barked in his stead. "Fall back ASAP!" Tali wasn't listening to her. A far more important sound had reached her ears than that of Chief Williams voice: a chorus of gurgling moans.

"Oh, keelah! More unknown hostiles!"

"I said get out of there!" Williams shouted again. "Liara! Biotics, now!"

The sound of gunfire became much closer, and Tali's shielding flared to life around her. _What the-!_ Before she could even turn to face her attacker, something collided hard with the side of her helmet. Dazed, she staggered on the spot, dropping her shotgun and nearly losing her balance. A similar impact to her leg finished the job, dropping her to the dirt on hands and knees. She twisted her neck around to see who was attacking her and felt her breath catch in her throat. At least seven of the colonists were approaching. Pistols, debris, lengths of pipe all brandished as weapons against her. "What are you doing!" she demanded as she scrambled upright.

The colonists faces were contorted in pain. Short breaths hissed between clenched teeth and every step seemed as torturous to them as though they were walking through lava. Tali drew her pistol with shaking hands to level at the humans.

"We... don't want...," one of them sputtered. "It... wants us... to.."

Tali's head rang with pre-pilgrimage lessons on slaver control chips as the colonists advanced. _It must be. Someone has implanted them with control chips to force them to attack. Why else would they turn on us? It's not their fault!_ Her eyes locked onto the assortment of weapons, improvised and otherwise, that were trained on her. _Their fault or not, they'll tear me apart. But I can't just gun them down, it isn't right!_ She took a few shaky steps back as she frantically tried to think of a solution. Control chips were notoriously difficult and dangerous to hack under the best of circumstances where the patient was unconscious and restrained. The sight of a veritable hoard of gray skinned monstrosities emerging from the depths of the tower seemed to leave only one rational course of action.

"God damn it, Tali! Where the hell are you!" With that last spur the engineer spun on her heel and ran as fast as her legs could carry her.


	12. Chapter 12

**Goddamn, it's been a long time, hasn't it? If anyone out there still remembers this story from the olden days, I'm sorry about the delays. Writers block and an ocasional bout of original fiction. Anyway, I'll try to have the next one up faster. Can't promise anything. It ends a bit abruptly I know, but the next bit I want to right seems like it should stand alone.**

**Anyway, your feedback is always appreciated, positive or otherwise. Thanks to quean for the beta read again. Read enjoy/hate with enough intensity to boil the Atlantic.**

* * *

Tali's eyes were locked on the miniature screen before her. She scarcely dared to blink as her fingers worked the controls of her omnitool at a feverish pace. Aside from her frenzied fingers she'd not moved so much as an inch in several long minutes. Time was ticking away in the corner of the screen, unperturbed by the quarians efforts to beat it to the finish.

The problem before her was a tricky one. A struggle to maintain perfect symmetry of all the elements in play, and bring order out of the chaos presented one variable at a time. It was a constant stream of seemingly random inputs arranged in the most unhelpful order imaginable. Tali needed just one, simple, seemingly basic item to enter the situation but whatever rules governed the universe stubbornly withheld it.

In an instant the promised solution came. A few moments more, or slightly slower reflexes on her part, and all her effort would have been for naught. As it was Tali deftly manipulated the variable, struck a final command...

...and watched four rows of blocks blink and vanish as the straight line Tetris piece fell perfectly into place. When the timer ran out mere seconds later the top of the stack was safely in bounds. Victory, and the new high score, was hers at last.

The game was just another of the diversions included in the file Shepard had given her a while back. Tali was grateful to him for the gift, but was becoming increasingly worried about its future usefulness as the mission wore on. She'd figured out the probabilities governing Solitaire after only a few games and she suspected Tetris wouldn't be far behind. Minesweeper hadn't held her attention for long at all, though the "pinball" game was occasionally diverting. If nothing else, the Tetris music was rather catchy.

None of this would have been a problem if someone on the ship could find some work for her to do. Fact of the matter was that the Normandy had been fully staffed before Shepard had picked up his ground team. Tali had become superfluous once the majority of the minor flaws left over from the prematurely ended shakedown run had been worked out. For her part she suspected that the reason nobody could think of anything for her to do was a lack of motivation on their side. The human crew just didn't seem to understand the concept of wanting to work. Tali was developing a deep antipathy for the word "relax".

_If they like free time so much I'd be happy to take someones shift. It'd be better than just sitting here hour after hour. Keelah, I'm so bored!_ Tali's fingers started drumming on the table as she wracked her brain for something to do. She'd already volunteered to assist Chief Williams with maintaining the arsenal. Williams seemed to regret the decision to accept when they finished all the work and left nothing for her to do either. Garrus had apparently noticed this and declined Tali's offer to help with the Mako with the phrase "I got it first". At that point Tali decided she was becoming a nuisance and stopped asking for work.

_How do other species handle this? Entire days spent doing NOTHING! Then they take vae-cae-shunns to spend entire WEEKS doing even less than nothing! If I don't get to go on the next ground mission I'm going to go insane. Maybe I should ask Shepard for an assignment. Anything has to be better than just sitting around like this. I could always offer to clean the deck plates or something._

Tali heaved a sigh, hunched over the table and dropped her head onto her folded arms. _This is pathetic. I can handle geth, krogan, varren and those... creeper things, but I'm about to go complaining to the Commander because I'm bored? I guess nobody else served on brand new ships on Pilgrimage before. No lessons on how to cope with boredom._ The thought of her Pilgrimage added a new set of leaden weights to her already sinking spirits. _What have I even accomplished for my Pilgrimage? Hardly a credit to my name and not a gift in sight. No, that's stupid. Pilgrimages can take years and I'm expecting to be done in a couple months? It's the quality of the gift that counts. If I bring back something useful enough, nobody will care how long it takes me. Father won't praise me either way, and Auntie Raan will be glad if I just return alive, so there's no use getting depressed about it. I'll find something. Maybe something about the geth... If we can find some that aren't being actively directed by Saren I bet I could find some interesting data._

Tali raised her head enough to catch sight of her as of yet untouched dinner tube, which she idly flicked into a spin. _Right now I'd settle for a boredom cure. It would be useless on the Flotilla, but it would make this waiting a lot more tolerable._ Another sigh escaped her as she prodded the slowing tube to new velocities.

"My translator may be malfunctioning, but that sounded distinctly like a sigh of boredom."

Tali's spirits, not content to merely shed their leaden weights, also took it upon themselves to set said weights on fire and jettison them into the nearest star. She looked up to see Shepard approaching the mess table carrying both a dinner tray and a small, brightly colored cube.

"Hello, Shepard. The shift's over already?"

"Easy to lose track of time when not on duty." Shepard commented as he took a seat opposite hers. "From what I've been told you've been trying to put everyone on this ship out of work."

"Did Chief Williams file a complaint? I didn't mean to get everything done that fast..." Tali began anxiously.

"It was less a complaint and more a request to find you something to do before you go crazy with cabin fever."

"Fever?" Tali's hands leaped off the table reflexively to start checking her suits seals.

"It's a figure of speech meaning to become rather unbalanced when confined to a small area with nothing to do."

"...Oh." Tali felt an all too familiar heat rise in her face as she abandoned her checks. "Right."

"Regardless, I believe I told you before that I have very few personal possessions?" When Tali nodded her confirmation Shepard picked up the brightly colored cube and set it on the table before her. "This is one of them. It might keep you distracted for at least a few minutes."

Tali gingerly picked up the cube, turning it over in her hands to examine it. It was in fact comprised of 26 smaller cubes, each one with differently colored sides in yellow, red, blue, green, orange and white.

"What is it?" Tali asked at last.

"It's called a Rubik's Cube. A puzzle where the goal is to make each large side the same color by twisting the various segments. If you can manage to solve it for me, I'd appreciate it."

"Of course!" Tali agreed with new-found cheer. _I see, the rows all rotate in both directions.. An interesting design, reminds me of a virtual puzzle I played with as a child._ Tali experimentally made a few random turns before setting to the problem in earnest.

–

"There!" Tali said proudly, setting the cube before Shepard. "Fixed it."

Shepard looked down at the cube, then at Tali, back at the cube, and finally back at Tali.

"Already?"

"It's not that complex a puzzle," Tali answered casually while fitting her dinner to her mouthpiece. "It was fun though."

"I just gave it to you two minutes ago."

"...Was it supposed to take longer?"

"I had hoped it'd at least last through the meal."

"Did Tali finish your job, too?" came the ever blunt voice of Chief Williams as she dropped into an adjacent seat.

"I said I was sorry about that." Tali retorted defensively. "Maybe we should get more weapons."

"She might be on to something there, Skipper."

"It'll have to wait until our next windfall," Shepard replied. "For all their resources the Council is reluctant to cover new weapons for their Spectres."

Tali swallowed her mouthful of paste before speaking up. "Maybe if they didn't waste so much on the Presidium they could afford to make sure their own agents can do their jobs properly."

"Wouldn't bet on it," Alenko chimed in a few seats farther down. "They prefer a hands off approach. Makes it easier to disavow responsibility when agents like Saren cross the line."

"And harder for us to stop him now that he has," Tali countered. "On the Flotilla we always give our Marines the best equipment we have. Relatively speaking."

"We'll take Saren down one way or another," Shepard stated firmly.

"Yeah, then we make him and the geth sorry they attacked Eden Prime," Williams agreed vehemently.

"Not to mention the damage they caused on Ferros," Tali added.

Shepard nodded. "I'm sure we'll have new reasons to stop them once we reach Noveria. I've also received information about possible geth incursions in the Armstrong Nebula."

"The Armstrong Nebula? Why would the geth be interested in that region?" Tali wondered aloud.

It was Navigator Pressley who had an answer to that. "Probably setting up outposts to use as a staging area for invasion. Armstrong is far enough out of the way that most people wouldn't notice them until they've already dug in."

"All the more reason for us to investigate," Shepard agreed. " Noveria takes priority, however. Particularly since we arrive tomorrow."

–

_Damn it, damn it, damn it, damn it! Just about everyone has been called off this ship but me!_ Tali glowered at the drive core as she stewed in her frustration. Even if Adams didn't have anything for her to do, there was something comforting to her about being in engineering. Perhaps it was the technological daydream fuel it provided, or simply the fact that it let her hear that there was indeed an engine operational. _I'm not really sure it was a good idea calling out Liara just because it turns out her mother is here. Liara seems nice enough, and I don't really think she'd betray us... but having to face down your own mother? I just have to trust Shepard's judgment on this. And I know why he'd want a bigger team with him. Asari Commandos and Matriarchs are supposed to be some of the most dangerous people around. But why couldn't that bigger team include ME!_

Tali heard the door open and was surprised to see Garrus stride inside. Unusually for him he was dressed in an off duty jumpsuit rather than his C-Sec armor. Upon sighting Tali, the turian made his way over to her. As he approached, Tali's eyes fell on his right arm and she understood his change in attire. The sleeve had been rolled up to make room for a temporary cast on his forearm, a task that would have been slightly problematic with armor in place.

"Are you alright?" Tali asked, indicating the injured arm.

"Just a fracture, but enough for the Commander to pull me from combat. Caught a geth rocket with my shields low-" Garrus began but was cut off.

"Geth? The geth are here? Was anyone else hurt?"

"Relax," Garrus said. Tali's teeth clenched at the sound of her new least favorite word. "We got ambushed in the garage. The others are safely on their way to Peak 15. Well, unless Benezia managed to sneak some armatures past Hanshan security too. That's not why I'm here. The Commander sent me back with some geth equipment we collected from them. He wants you to figure out what makes it tick."

Tali's mood brightened as she followed the turian out of engineering. Only last night after dinner she had mentioned wanting to find some kind of data on the geth for her Pilgrimage, and now Shepard was sending her geth equipment to study. _He's determined to make sure I'm in his debt, I think. How in the galaxy am I going to make everything up to him? Stupid question, you start by doing what he's asked you too and give him a full report on this geth tech. Then, you help him and the rest of the team blow up a lot of geth. Not that I wouldn't help blow up geth anyway._

–

Tali sat at a small, collapsible table she'd set up in the hold, humming cheerfully to herself as she dissected one of the pulse rifles Garrus had brought her. Though she'd yet to wrap her head around some of the more bizarre components in use, she had managed to learn quite a bit. _They focus heavily on bypassing shields. Built in phasic envelope equipment, though how exactly it's generating that envelope is strange. The smaller rounds explains why it's less effective on physical armor. It's hard to believe how much their technology has diverged from organics in 300 years. It's still basically a mass accelerator, but I have no idea what that thing next to the ammo block is. And where is the heat diffuser? It must generate waste heat._ She turned the rifle over in her hands, holding it vertically to get a better look at a port set into one side._ It looks like something is inserted here... Ah, what's this?_

Tali pressed a finger on a control stud set into the side of the sleek rifle. A slot snapped open on the far side and a small object popped out with a hissing plume of compressed gasses. _What is this thing?_ Tali set the rifle aside and inspected this new object instead. _It looks sort of like a limited use heat sink. What you use when you need to sink a lot of heat but only... once..._

"Of course!" She exclaimed aloud. _A disposable heat sink! So this is how they can fire so many rounds so quickly. When it's full, they just eject it, and this thing feeds in a new one. I bet if I... Ahah!_ Tali located another stud and pressed it. A silver tube was discharged from the port she'd noticed before. A long slot cut into the side showed that it was partially full of these miniature heat sinks. _A clip! Like those ancient combustion weapons most species used before they discovered element zero. Slide in a clip, and you can fire your weapon to capacity a dozen times without more than a seconds interruption. All held in and ejected by that device by the ammo block. Clever synthetic bosh'tets. They've changed small arms more in three centuries than my people have in a thousand years. Keelah, it's no wonder the geth have done so much damage in their recent attacks. All this time to prepare for them, and we've wasted it._

Tali sat back in her chair, holding the miniature heat sink up to the light as she considered the implications of her discovery. _On the other hand, once you're out of heat sinks, fire rate would be severely diminished. I've never seen the geth carrying any of the clips, perhaps they store them internally? They are synthetics after all._ _More importantly, this suggests that they would be at a disadvantage in long fire fights. It fits with their standard combat tactics: Ambush, then hit hard and fast. Shepard can definitely use this information._


	13. Chapter 13

**Right then, new chapter. Tried to get this one out faster than usual. A review from last chapter has me thinking I should change my story description. Guess truth in advertising might not be the best idea here.**

**Oh, for interested readers, please see the end for a special review request. Either way, read, enjoy/hate, provide feedback to make me a better writer. Remember, it's in your own best interests in that regard.**

* * *

"So, now what do we do, Skipper?" Williams asked around a mouthful of food.

"Until we get a new lead on Saren, we're going to follow what leads we do have." Shepard answered. "Unless anyone thinks it would be a better idea to search every planet in every system in the vicinity of the Mu Relay and hope we get lucky."

"Needle in a haystack doesn't quite do that justice," Alenko agreed.

"What leads do we start with?" asked Garrus.

"Don't worry, we'll check out the _Fedele_ for you," Shepard assured the turian, who inclined his head in response. "First though, we have a few larger matters to deal with. Namely Cerberus."

"The ones who converted the colonists to husks?" Liara asked apprehensively.

Tali suppressed a shudder. It had been her first encounter with the husks only a few days ago. The idea of doing that to your worst enemy, let alone your own people, was beyond her comprehension.

Shepard nodded grimly. "Yes, and judging from what we saw on Noveria, they've probably gotten their hands on some of the rachni. Not to mention the shipping manifests on Ferros. More immediately, I've just heard from Admiral Kahoku. You remember Edolus?"

"I don't think there's much chance of _me_ forgetting that day." Tali replied. _Almost getting eaten by a Thresher Maw is the kind of memory that doesn't fade._

"It was Cerberus who set the trap."

"What!" Alenko exclaimed.

"Sonofabitch!" Williams growled, her clenched fist crushing her cup.

"Tell me you know where they are," Garrus demanded.

"We're already on our way," Shepard assured them.

_Those sick bosh'tets! I hope I get to help Shepard give them what they deserve. We barely got off of Edolus alive! Those marines didn't have a chance..._

– **One day after the mission on Therum-**

If it weren't for the cannon mounted on the roof, Tali would be prepared to call the Mako a tragic waste of materials. As annoying as it was she had to grudgingly admit that it was better than walking across the surface of Edolus unprotected. Strictly speaking the Mako wouldn't make a difference if one of the innumerable meteors raining down outside decided to hit them directly, but the ride would save Tali some time dusting her suit off afterward.

_Actually, this planet could be a lot worse. Only just below freezing, a little light on gravity and air pressure. If it weren't for the meteors I'd wonder why nobody was using it. Then again, someone or something here made a group of marines fall out of contact._ Tali glanced up from the engineering console to steal a glance out the forward windows at the dust choked air outside. The drab brown hills and plains beyond the windows were not exactly an inspiring vista. It was depressing just how many planets in the universe were so inhospitable. Made worse by all the near misses that taunted with ideal gravity and orbit only to throw some horrible drawback into the mix.

Tali dropped her eyes back to her console. Shepard had opted for a bigger team than usual, bringing not only Tali, but Wrex and Alenko as well. Anything that could take out an entire Alliance patrol team merited special consideration. Tali was to stay in the Mako and use it's sensors to watch their backs should the others need to disembark.

_Not sure what I'll be able to see. The dust makes visual unreliable at range and these damn meteors mean the vibration sensors likely won't be much use either. But if Shepard says it's what I'm going to do, it's what I'm going to do._

"Shepard, I have a visual." Alenko said. "10 degrees to port. Looks like there's a Grizzly by the beacon."

"I see it," Shepard confirmed. "I'm bringing us in. Tali, keep an eye on the proximity sensors."

"Right," Tali said, adjusting her display to bring the required information to the fore. The Mako slowly came to a stop a dozen meters shy of the distress beacon that had guided them here in the first place. Tali narrowed the sensors focus to clean up the immediate vicinity.

"There's nothing moving within a kilometer, Shepard." Tali reported. "The vehicles engines are cold."

"Keep me posted. Kaiden, Wrex, let's move out."

The port hatch whirred open, a sound swiftly drowned by the rushing wind beyond. Moments later it snapped shut again, closing Tali in alone. She watched the screen intently and was able to track the three moving indicators just outside as they moved towards the beacon and Grizzly.

Alenko's voice came over the open comm channel, "Commander, it's Admiral Kahoku's men."

"Check the bodies," Shepard said grimly. "At least try to find out what killed them."

_Damn. I knew we'd be too late. Distress signals are never answered soon enough. Space is just too damn b-_ Tali's eyes narrowed as the seismograph reading jumped. A short, sharp spike, then back to normal. _Probably just particularly big impact..._

"Shepard." Wrex interrupted her thoughts.

"Find something?"

"Look."

The seismograph reading jumped again, only higher this time. _With all the noise I can't be sure.. but shouldn't I have heard tha- _Again it jumped. And again. _Oh no._ Jump. _Keelah, no._ The readings weren't dropping to the baseline between them anymore. A background rumble was slowly ramping up behind them. Steadily getting stronger with each passing moment.

"This looks like the hull was corroded..."

Tali dialed out the display range to it's maximum limits. The vibrations were still increasing, but nothing was registering as a source. Without other reference points the best she could hope for was a distance. _If I had access... of course!_ Tali's fingers danced across the console as she linked the Mako's computer into the distress beacon. As she'd suspected, the marines had set an uplink into the beacon from their own vehicles computer. The automatic Alliance processes did the rest, collating the seismographic data from the Mako, Grizzly and what appeared to be a second Grizzly a couple of kilometers distant. The VI software had no trouble in triangulating the source of the vibrations, and in confirming her fears.

"Shepard," Tali said "I've got a contact-"

"Back to the Mako, double time!" Shepard ordered.

"It's half a kilometer out and closing fast. We need to get out of here!" A few quick taps and Tali set the drivers console up with a proximity display as well. Another keystroke and the side hatch opened for the team outside.

The ground team piled into the Mako as quickly as possible. Shepard gunned the engine before the hatch even had a chance to close, bringing the Mako up to speed in a matter of seconds. Not a moment too soon it turned out, as the ground previously beneath their wheels erupted in a cacophony of displaced dirt and the deafening roar of a Thresher Maw. The massive monster drew itself up to its full 30 meter height before plunging after them, sickle shaped claws outstretched. A violent swerve was all that saved the Mako from being speared and torn in half.

"Fire at will!"

Alenko's reply of "Aye aye, sir", was accompanied by the roar of the Mako's cannon and machine gun coming to life above the cabin.

"Maw acid will go right through the armor," Wrex said with a surprising amount of calm for someone encountering the single most dangerous life form in the known galaxy.

"I'm more worried about what it'll do to us!" Tali replied.

"Tali, there is a spray canister of neutralizer under your seat. Be ready to use it." Shepard ordered.

"Right." Tali replied with forced calm. For once she wasn't queasy from the Mako's idea of proper suspension, but rather from sheer terror. Threshers kill anything that moves and eat anything they can fit into their jaws, organic or otherwise. Surely a quarian would be an easy meal to digest after her internal organs had been liquified by an infrasonic pulse. Not to mention possibly quite delicious after her suit had been burned off by acid.

"_Normandy_, ground team. We have engaged a Thresher Maw, require immediate assistance!"

A sharp tremor heralded the beasts withdrawal underground. Tali fought to keep her mornings paste in place as Shepard yanked the Mako hard to port. The Thresher erupted straight in front of their previous path. A sizzling stream of sickly green acid missed the hull by barely a meter. One massive claw clipped the Mako's back right quarter, putting the vehicle into an impromptu wheelie. A blast from the cannon encouraged the creature to dive below the surface again.

"Roger Commander," Joker replied. "ETA, nine minutes."

"We don't have nine- hold on to somethi-!" The Thresher burst upwards again, this time right beside them. The Mako was lifted from the ground like a child's toy. Alarms blared as the tank struck the ground, rolling twice before miraculously landing upright. Shepard wasted no time in flooring it again.

"We've lost the starboard thrusters!" Tali shouted over the din.

Shepard fired the remaining thrusters anyway, putting them into another roll to avoid the downward swipe of the Threshers claws. He was not so successful with the followup acid. The majority of the liquid shot harmlessly overhead. The rest went to work on the armor adjacent to the mass accelerators.

"Shepard, the weapons-" Kaiden began.

Shepard cut him off, "Tali, tell me you can do something."

Tali was already checking the damage report. _Damn, it's outside. I can't get to it from... No. No, that's stupid. That's suicide._ Tali looked up to the front where Shepard was still doing his best to keep them alive until the _Normandy_ arrived. Without the guns, he didn't stand much chance of pulling it off. _I'm going to die either way._ Tali swallowed hard. _And I still owe him my life. At least this way..._

"Shepard," Tali said, voice wavering. "Don't roll the Mako."

"What are you talk... Tali, don't-!"

The quarian unfastened her safety harness, slung the acid neutralizer and a repair kit over her shoulder and triggered the hatch before she could stop to second guess her decision further. Tali grabbed the railing in the hatch and swung herself out and onto the side of the vehicle. A specific gesture with her toes triggered her boots magnetic clamps, allowing her to clamber up onto the roof despite Shepard's continued evasive maneuvers.

"Tali, what the hell are you doing?" Shepard's voice demanded by way of the comm system.

"I can't fix it from inside. I have to do it out here." Tali replied shortly. She pulled the pin on the neutralizer and hosed down the still bubbling acid around the accelerator housing. Even with the foamy residue she could see it was bad. The wires between the firing controls and the weapons had lost a sizable chunk of their lengths to the acid. She unslung the repair kit from her shoulder, nearly dropping it when the Thresher surfaced again, it's earsplitting roar triggered the automatic hearing protection features in her helmet, essentially making her deaf to the outside world. _Thank the ancestors for that feature._

Tali was also grateful to the alliance engineers who had designed the repair equipment. The compact kit was in less danger than she was of being flung from the hull once she triggered its magnetic clamps and set to work. Pulling a set of sheers from one of her innumerable pockets with one hand while playing out a length of wire from the kits spool with the other was probably not the best idea while riding a moving vehicle, but Shepard seemed to be doing his best to keep the Mako steady for her. She cut off several lengths of wire, stripped the ends of insulation and started fusing them into place with omnigel. _Hurry, hurry, hurry._

Shepard voice sounded through her earpiece, "Hold on up there!"

The tank made a sharp swerve to the left and Tali's right foot came loose. _Damn damn damn!_ She clung to the ragged edge of the acid made breach with one hand, fighting not to lose her maglock with with other leg as well as the ground bucked below the tank. Tali was distantly aware that if she survived would probably have quite the embarrassing time explaining the meaning of any of the litany of khelish curses she was uttering as she hauled herself back into position. _Four more wires. You can do this, Tali. Keep working._

Tali fused two more wires before the Mako bucked again, nearly tossing her off entirely. She seized hold of the breach again only to gasp in pain as the sharp edge cut into her palm. _Not now damn it!_ Breach alarms sounded along with sudden pressure on her arm as the section seals clamped into place.

"Weapons are online!" Alenko called out. "Aiming is still dead, but if it gets in front of us again.."

"Just another few seconds!" Tali replied. The wires slipped in her hands as the suit breach bled medigel onto her wound and out the tear. Cursing, she wiped the excess on the leg of her suit. As she did so, she noticed the Grizzly and distress beacon were in front of them again. _It's keeping us trapped in the middle. I need to hurr-_ The sight of the hatch opening broke her train of thought.

"Wrex, what do you think you're doing?"

"Quarian said she needed time." Wrex replied simply. Tali actually felt the Mako's balance shift as the krogran disembarked the speeding vehicle right as they passed the immobile Grizzly. She refocused on her task, not bothering to listen to Shepard's response as she fused the next wire into place and moved on to the next one. She looked up in time to see the ground directly before the Mako split open.

Seeing it head on was like something out of a nightmare. The gaping mouth tipped with tentacles at its four corners seemed to dominate far too large a swath of her vision. The glowing blue tongue hung low, clearing an open view down into its throat. Tali could feel its roar rattling her bones; the wind of it nearly pulling the veil from her helmet. The Mako was skidding as Shepard tried to turn them away, but even the Mako's mass effect core couldn't completely negate the laws of inertia carrying them straight towards the oncoming jaws.

A shadow fell over the Mako. Strangely, it appeared to be cast on the Thresher as well, rather than being cast by it. An instant later a heavy Grizzly tank enveloped in a blue aura tumbled overhead to lodge in the beasts open mouth. The sight was enough to jar Tali back into action; a seconds work and the final connection was made.

"That's it!" Tali shouted triumphantly.

The cannon before her pivoted into position and fired without delay. The hyper velocity round, originally designed to pierce vehicular armor, punched deep into the Grizzly the Thresher Maw had been trying to swallow whole. This one in a million shot must have hit something important as before Tali could even blink the Grizzly was engulfed in a searing wave of fire.

For the second time in as many days Tali found herself flat on her back, blinking up at the sky past a HUD indicator for depleted shields. She slowly forced herself up into a sitting position, and could only gape at the sight of the Thresher Maws charred stump of a body lying limp a dozen or so meters before her. The Mako was firing it's remaining thrusters in an attempt to right itself next to it.

"Shepard, Lieutenant, are you alright in there?" Tali called over the open channel.

The Mako's hatch opened slowly, Shepard pushing it open manually as he climbed out. "We're fine. What's your status?"

"Minor suit rupture. Otherwise, I'm alright I think."

"Good, then you'll be able to listen to a lecture on not jumping out of moving vehicles once we're off this planet." Tali cringed slightly at his words. _Uh, I guess he's a little upset..._

"So, you're still alive, quarian." Wrex's voice rumbled. Tali twisted on the spot to see the krogan walking steadily over the dusty ground towards her. Tali could swear he was still carrying a biotic aura.

"My name is Tali." She said with a hint of irritation.

"Hmph. You've got a quad, I'll give you that."

Tali shook her head and hauled herself to her feet. "You know I'm female, right?" She plucked a few pieces of shrapnel out of her suits armor layer as she spoke. _No additional breaches, just needs light patching here and there. Good._ _Still, a krogan saying that a quarian "has a quad"... That stunt must have been more stupid than I thought._ She dialed up her audio pickups to their normal level again. The sound of the _Normandy's_ engines could just be heard over the endless wind.

"_Normandy_, this is Shepard. The Maw is dead. You'll have to land to pick us up, the Mako is disabled."

"Great, you totaled the car." Joker replied. "Now you're going to lose your license and the whole galaxy will be screwed. Hope you're happy, Shepard."

Alenko dropped from the Mako after Shepard, shaking his head in an exasperated manner. "How exactly has he not been court marshaled yet?" he asked.

–

Tali stared up at the blank ceiling of the medical bay with an equally blank expression on her face. After spending some time in the decontamination chamber of the main airlock to properly treat her wound and patch her suit, Tali had been summarily condemned to a night in the medical bay by Dr. Chakwas. Despite the dead nature of Edolus and the sterile conditions of the airlock, Tali knew the doctor was right. The weak immune systems of quarians were jumpier than a salarian on stims; prone to overreacting to even the slightest contamination. Ironically for all that hypersensitivity, and the unpleasant symptoms thereof, a quarians natural defenses were woefully inadequate against anything that actually posed a threat. Fortunately one thing that was drilled into every young quarians head from the moment they were capable of understanding language was to always listen to doctors.

_Still... couldn't she need something fixed while I'm here? An omnitool, a medigel dispenser, anything to give me something to do. Other than sleep. It doesn't take a psychiatric worker to know that I'm going to be thinking of that monster every time I start to doze off._ Just recalling the sight of those jaws opening wide enough to take the Mako down whole, and Tali with it, was unsettling to say the least. Once the combat hormones had started to wear off it'd taken Tali a long time to stop her hands from shaking. As the fingers of her left hand twitched she seriously questioned if the shakes were really so bad. While Tali had the luck to catch only a mild fever, the injured palm had decided to develop an infuriating itch.

_At least with shaking I could just hold onto something to make them go away._ Tali cast a glance over at the next bed. _Still, I bet Pressly is feeling a lot worse than I am right now. That rash looks... unpleasant._ The navigator had arrived several minutes ago, seeming embarrassed at the sight of someone else in the room. Luckily for him the body language embarrassment was very similar between humans and quarians. The moment Tali had picked up on it, she muted her audio pickups to preserve his privacy. _From the looks of things he's just waiting now. I'll turn the volume back up._

The movement of Tali's hands on her suits controls caught the navigators attention.

"Figured you were asleep. Didn't mean to wake you." Pressly said somewhat stiffly.

"You didn't. I muted my helmet when you came in. I didn't want to invade your privacy." Tali explained.

Pressly looked surprised by her statement. "I... appreciate that."

"Privacy is a rare luxury back home," Tali said, more to herself than anyone else. "Seems like everything I see on Pilgrimage is in abundance."

"The Commander mentioned a Pilgrimage. Didn't go into detail about what it is." There was a hint of suspicion in his voice that Tali couldn't ignore. She'd gotten the impression that the navigator was unhappy about having members of other species on the crew, particularly Garrus.

_Shepard said let them get to know you, now seems as good a time as any._ "Originally it was about maintaining genetic diversity by mixing crew members between ships. Even so, it's important to prove that you'll be an asset to the community, not a burden. So we go out into the galaxy to find something to present as a gift to present to the ship we want to join."

"Sounds like a scavenging mission." Pressly said.

"It can be," Tali admitted. "With all the prejudice against my people, we can't usually expect to get the best of... anything. Bringing home a big enough load of usable metal can be a great gift, especially for joining an older ship."

"You're not going to find much in the way of scrap metal on this mission."

Tali frowned behind her visor. _He's fixating on the salvage. There's more to it than scrap. _"A gift can be anything of value that we can't usually get at home. It was a pilgrim who introduced the fleet to medigel. That one gift has saved more lives than I can count. That is the kind of thing I'm looking for: something that will change all of my people's lives for the better. But that's not important now. Until the geth are stopped, my own problems will wait."

Pressly nodded slowly, the thoughtful expression on his lined face laced with tension as he visibly strained to keep from scratching the small red bumps on his neck. Right on cue Tali's attention was drawn back to her itching hand. She clenched her first in irritation. _I wonder if I could hack the haptic feedback drivers to make that go away..._

* * *

**Alright, here's my special request. I'd originally planned to have this mission set after Noveria, but as I planned it out more it started to fit better after Therum. Currently it's a big flashback, but part of me wants to remove the frame and physically put it back where it fits in the timeline. Naturally this could cause confusion for readers, so I ask you: Should I leave it as it is(a flashback), or move it back to an earlier point in the story (actually reordering the chapters)?**


	14. Chapter 14

**Previously, I made an announcement. An announcement saying that I was pretty much shutting down Linear Progression forever. I'd been stuck for months, had other things going on and saw no future in it. I was fully prepared to never touch the story again, despite reciving quite a few reviews and a PM or two expressing hope I'd reconsider or disappointment in the sudden ending.**

**Then I played Mass Effect 3. Speaking of disappointment in the ending... Don't worry, I'm not going into details here those of you who haven't played it yet. Let's just say that I was loving every moment of it until the end. The ending has given me motivation to write again.**

**I'm not about to make promises here. I wont promise that I'll make it all the way to the end of the trilogy and submit a correction to that mess. I can't even promise I'd make it through, or even TO Mass Effect 2. What I can promise that I'm willing to try this again. Beyond that, we'll just have to play it by ear.**

**To those who still remember my lackluster writings, welcome back. To new guys, yeah I know chapter 1 doesn't match what Tali says in ME3. Maybe I'll fix that later, maybe not, but I wrote that a long time ago.**

**To everyone, read, review, enjoy/hate with the fury of the Retake Mass Effect movement guys.**

* * *

"Batarians!"

If Tali hadn't been standing next to Shepard when he had said it, she would never have believed it was his voice. She'd heard Shepard shout down stubborn bosh'tets but his voice had never betrayed anything more than determination and traces of righteous fury. Admittedly her personal views of the man who had saved her life on more than one occasion with an ease that belonged in a vid may have been _slightly_ coloring her perceptions of his tone. But no amount of hero worship could disguise the hateful venom Shepard imbued the name of the aliens who had tried to drop an asteroid on Terra Nova.

Since that moment, Shepard had been a man possessed. He moved quickly and sharply with not a single wasted gesture. Orders had become terse and hard rather than his usual, unflappable calm. He asked no opinions, made no conversation and, most disturbingly of all, showed no mercy.

Shepard glared at the batarian before him with barely concealed hatred. Tali's eyes flicked warily back and forth between the Commander next to her, and the batarian terrorists' weapons.

"I signed on to make a little profit." the head batarian said, "A quick slave grab. Nothing-"

The moment the word "slave" had left the batarians lips, Shepard's face had contorted in a mask of rage. Biotic energy burst into life around him so brightly it was as if he was engulfed in blue fire. A viscous jab forward with his left hand enveloped the slaver before anyone could register what was happening. A throw field the likes of which Tali hadn't seen since Wrex had thrown an entire _tank_ at a Thresher Maw blasted the batarian off his feet and clean through the door behind him.

The other batarians shouted unintelligible curses and they opened fire. Almost on reflex, Tali raised her shotgun and blew away a charging attack varren. Alenko's biotics hoisted the other varren and a nearby slaver into the air around a swirling singularity, leaving them easy targets for his assault rifle. Shepard's shotgun took the remaining batarian full in the chest at nearly point blank range. Silence fell in the hangar as the last biotically suspended bodies fell to the floor.

Tali lowered her weapon hesitantly. Shepard gradually came back into focus as the lensing of his biotic output faded away. From his slightly slumped posture it was clear the sudden display had taken its toll on him, but more than that in reenforced the aberration she'd just witnessed. Shepard _never_ lashed out in anger. He _never_ attacked someone mid-sentence. He _never_ tired because he _never_ overextended himself. Looking at him now was like seeing a complete stranger.

Shepard turned on the spot and strode to the exterior airlock. Tali took an involuntary step back as he passed, though he gave no notice. The look on his face wasn't any emotion she recognized from the manuals. For the first time since she'd met him, Shepard looked... unfocused. As if he wasn't really seeing the world before him. This was a side of her hero that Tali never seen before, and it terrified her.

Alenko had gone to check the target of Shepard's outburst and returned holding an ID card. He and Tali fell into position behind the Commander on the way out. From the look on Alenko's face, he had no more idea what to make of the scene that had just unfolded than Tali did. As it was, neither of them had the guts to raise any questions now. All three of the ground team were silent during the cycling of the airlock beyond the few final clicks of re-breather fittings going into place. Every step of the distance to the Mako set off a new worried thought in Tali's head.

_Is he alright? Is it safe to speak to him? Should I even want to? Is this because of Mindoir? Is it Elysium? I thought Shepard didn't hate species? What if he actually hates quarians too? If I make him mad will he...?_ Tali shook her head viciously and clambered into the Mako behind Alenko. _No, no, Shepard wouldn't do that, right? He likes me... doesn't he? I mean, not _likes_ me but he's never given any hints that he'd just...it was so sudden. Like throwing a toy against a wall._ She clicked the restraints into place and illuminated the engineers console without once taking her eyes off Shepard. The outer hatch snapped shut and Shepard floored the accelerator hard. Tali dropped her eyes to her console and tried to focus. _It's not my business. He's the commander, I'm not even a real soldier. Just leave him alone._

–

Tali stood to Shepard's right with pistol drawn and trained on the leader of the batarian terrorists. In contrast to the subordinate Shepard had dispatched earlier, this batarian (Balak according to the others) was much better equipped and held a much more defensible position. No matter how much technology advanced, the high ground was still the best place to be, even if it was just a staircase. From his hate filled monologue, it was also apparent that he differed from that subordinate in being totally unwilling to negotiate in any meaningful way. As far as he was concerned trying to destroy the biosphere of an entire populated planet was perfectly justified "retribution" for humanity daring to colonize _anywhere_.

"You couldn't possibly understand..." Balak growled, "Actually, you just don't want to understand. And I'm done wasting my breath."

Tali had to admit, at least to herself, that she was starting to share Shepard's obvious disgust at the sight of this batarian. Space was vast beyond imagination. Countless planets were out there, just waiting to be discovered. The batarians didn't need defending to let them find new colony sites. They didn't need to drop asteroids on innocent people just to "get attention". The Hegemony was like a child, throwing a tantrum over another child's perceived special treatment. Such blatant selfishness and casual disregard for any sense of value for life turned her stomach.

"Now, if you want your friends to live, I suggest you step aside."

Shepard was glaring up at the batarian terrorist with unadulterated malice. Tali surreptitiously checked her pistols heat limit as she had a terrible feeling that Shepard was going to attack. The terrorists were armed, shielded and armored. There was no guarantee that they'd be taken down fast enough to leave time to disarm the explosives and Tali was certain this Balak would try to blow them up the moment he was clear. It was stop him, or save the hostages.

_This is going to be bad, isn't it?_ Tali looked to Shepard. The commander was rigid with clenched fists and spoke with a forced calm.

"You can go. But this isn't over. I'll find you eventually."

"Maybe," Balak admitted. "But I made sure you wont follow me today. Those charges are still on a timer." A cruel smile pulled at the fang filled mouth of the batarian as he turned away. "Better hurry if you want to save your friends."

"Commander, we've got more defense drones moving in," Alenko said.

"Double time," Shepard ordered. "Find those charges now!"

–

Tali tapped at her console in engineering. Though there wasn't much to be done, the steady thrum of the core was a comforting distraction from her thoughts. In many ways the mission had been a success. The hostages were alive, Terra Nova was safe now that the asteroid was back in stable orbit, and the team had all gotten out unscathed. She couldn't shake her worry about Shepard though. He'd been holed up in his quarters since they'd gotten back. Normally once the reports were finished and distributed, Shepard would make his rounds to the ground team. He was always after their input on the missions events. It reminded Tali of home, where everyone had an opinion and nothing short of a hull breach would stop anyone from sharing it with anybody who would listen. In that regard, Shepard was very quarian. He went out of his way to listen to everyone's take, everyone's experience, every single angle on the mission.

Tali enjoyed more than just the cultural familiarity of his rounds though. She had gotten used to the quiet of the Normandy weeks ago, but she would stay up late every night just so she and Shepard could talk some more. His visits had become the high point of her day. He'd listen to her prattle on and on about the Flotilla, the Normandy's engines, her newest omni-tool upgrades, anything. When she finally ran out of things to say on a topic, he'd ask a new question and get her started all over again.

_Is he just humoring me? Does he really consider me a... friend? Should I try to talk to him?_ Tali shot a sideways glance at Engineer Adams. _Why doesn't anyone else seem to be worried? This isn't normal for Shepard, don't they see it? Something is wrong._ She looked back down at her console with a frown. _Maybe it's just professionalism? So much more formal out here. Or maybe I'm reading them wrong._ Tali stared at the screen a few moments longer before signing out of the system.

"Engineer Adams? Is it alright if I go for a while? There's... something I need to take care of."

"No problem," Adams answered. "Good job today."

"Thanks," Tali said. "I appreciate the work."

Tali made her way up to the crew deck in silence. _Alenko has been on the team longest. If anyone is going to have noticed, it's him. If he says it's not a problem... I'm not a human expert. What if this is all perfectly normal for them?_ Tali stepped out of the elevator and strode purposefully across the deck to where the Lieutenant was working. _I have to find out one way or the other. I owe Shepard. It's worth looking like an idiot if I'm wrong._

"Excuse me, Lieutenant Alenko?" Tali asked politely.

Alenko looked up from his console. "There something you need, Tali?"

"It's... it's about Shepard. The Commander, I mean." Tali took a deep breath and took the plunge. "I don't know much about human culture so I'm sorry if I'm overstepping any lines but... do you think he's... alright?"

Alenko looked over towards the commanders door for a moment, then motioned for Tali to follow him to the far side of the mess hall.

"This about what happened down on X57?" he asked once they'd put some distance between their conversation and Shepard's cabin.

"Yes. You've known Shepard a while longer than the rest of us, on the ground team I mean. Is this... I mean, has he ever acted like that before? Just killing someone like that?"

Alenko took a pensive look over his shoulder towards Shepard's door before answering. "Not that I've seen."

"Should I- we- someone," Tali mentally kicked herself for her verbal stumbles, "You know, check on him? If something is wrong shouldn't somebody do something to help?"

"We all have our own histories, Tali. You asked about crossing the line? In situations like this, the line is a bit fuzzy. I've walked off my past, talking about it is not a big deal for me. For Shepard? I can't say. It might be best just to give him some space. Let him sort it out himself."

Tali's hands fidgeted nervously. "That seems unfair. Shepard is always trying to help other people. Helping Garrus track down that insane doctor, or getting Wrex's family armor back. It doesn't feel right to let him cope on his own without at least offering."

Alenko ran his fingers through his hair with a sigh. "It's complicated. Most of the crew is Alliance and Shepard outranks us all. Too many regulations for us to get really personal about things. Only leaves Liara and you really. Can't see Wrex or Garrus being good with emotional matters."

"I suppose not," Tali agreed. "I guess I'll talk to Liara about it."

"Not up to trying yourself?"

"What? It's not really... I don't know what I'd say."

Alenko shrugged. "Liara wasn't down there. I not trying to tell you what to do, Tali. Word of advice though? If you try talking and Shepard isn't interested, I wouldn't push the issue. Sometimes the gesture itself is enough."

"Thank you for the advice. I'll keep it in mind. Sorry to take up your time, Lieutenant."

"Don't worry about it," Alenko said. "And, for the record, you can just call me Kaiden."

"Oh, right. Thank you, Kaiden."

"Good luck, Tali." Kaiden said. Tali watched his retreating back for a moment before heaving a sigh and deciding to inspect the deck plates instead.

_I'm still not sure what to do. Would Liara be better at this? She's been kind of awkward around people since she came aboard. She said herself she's not good at this kind of thing. Besides, what am I going to do? March up to her and tell her she needs to go cheer up the commander out of the black? That wouldn't be fair to either of them._ Tali lifted to eyes to Shepard's door. They'd had an argument once already, the memory of which was still recent. He'd challenged her on the morality of trying to wipe out the geth when they'd first shown signs of sapience. He'd argued it was attempted genocide and that the geth had every right to fight back. Tali had been angered by that at first. She'd gotten rather short with him in her ancestors defense. It wasn't until he explained that he didn't think the initial justification of self-preservation excused the geth nearly committing a genocide of their own that she had been able to think about his position more rationally.

"_In their place, I'd have fought back,"_ he had said. _"but I wouldn't have gone nearly as far as they did. I'm not saying the geth are blameless, or that what they did was right in the end. I wasn't there so I can't know all the facts. What I am saying is that I think genocide is wrong. Whether it's committed in self-defense against a perceived threat, or in retaliation. I won't condone it either way."_

Tali couldn't bring herself to think what they'd tried to do to the geth was a mistake. According to all the history she'd been taught that preemptive strike had been their only chance. Tali wasn't prepared to cast aside everything she'd been raised to believe, especially when the geth now had clear designs on the life of all organics. However, she also couldn't blame Shepard for disagreeing. Shepard didn't have her upbringing. He didn't know what it was like being a quarian, and his opinion was really about the morality of genocide. She believed him when he said he didn't hold a single living quarian responsible no matter what the truth was.

That argument had been about ancient history. It was history that had shaped her entire life, but history none the less. _If this is about Mindoir then it's very personal to him. Do I have a right to ask him about that?_ Tali absently straightened the cloth sash across her chest and started picking at a loose thread. _He asks me about my home and past all the time. Even my nightmares. Shouldn't I at least offer? Let him know that someone here is willing to listen?_ She nodded to herself with new determination and started walking towards the door. _I'll just express my concern, offer to listen and if he wants me to go, I'll go without a fuss. It's that simple._ She stopped just outside the door. _Simple._ She reached out to touch the control but her fingers jerked back as though stung. _But what if he's mad I even bothered him? No. No. Just do it. What's the worse that could happen?_

As her fingers finally closed the distance and triggered the bell her brain helpfully answered that question with prospects of glaring, yelling and getting kicked off the ship on some horrible death trap like Omega. Several seconds passed and Tali was about to turn around and leave when the door opened. Shepard was on the other side in his usual crew uniform. His posture broadcast clear fatigue and his expression was rather grim though that was supplanted by mild surprise when he saw who was at his door.

"Tali? I wasn't expecting you to come by." Shepard said.

"I know. Well, I didn't know but, you know what I mean." Tali said nervously. "It's just that, uh, well.."

Shepard's expression switched over to one of concern instead. "Is something wrong?"

"That's what I was going to ask you." Tali said. "I don't want to pry and I'm sorry if this is out of line but back on the asteroid you seemed kind of... stressed. And you've acted a bit upset since we got back and you've always given me a chance to talk so..."

Shepard held up a hand to forestall further explanation. "It's alright, Tali." Tali fell silent at once and waited. Shepard was giving her another new expression for her to puzzle a meaning out of. A moments pause was followed by a sigh. "Come on in." Shepard stepped back and gestured past himself into his cabin. Tali nodded and took a few steps inside until the door slid shut behind her. It was a dimly lit room with a couple of desks, a bed at the far end and one round table with two chairs set at it. It was absurdly spacious for a single person's living quarters by quarians standards.

Shepard's next question indicated that perhaps he'd picked up on her surprise. "Is there a problem?"

"No," Tali answered quickly. "I'm just surprised at how big this room is."

Shepard nodded. "It does seem excessive. Though there are quite a few design choices I find myself questioning about with this ship. It took me quite a while to find where they'd hidden the rest rooms."

"Keelah, I know!" Tali agreed. "I was wondering if that was a cultural thing. I had to ask Engineer Adams for the ship schematics before I figured out that some of the wall panels were actually doors."

A faint chuckle escaped Shepard at her comment. "Joker wasn't exactly thrilled with the setup either. But that's not what you wanted to talk about." Shepard said. He made a gesture to the table. "Have a seat."

Tali lowered herself into the chair nearer the door and waited as Shepard took the one across from her. She had been mostly certain that Shepard would turn her away at the door, or perhaps not answer at all. Being invited inside to talk was the one outcome she hadn't actually been prepared for. Thankfully, Shepard broke the silence.

"I must have startled you. Taking out the slaver like that."

"It wasn't what I expected," Tali agreed. "I don't think I've ever seen you that angry before."

Shepard seemed to hesitate before speaking again; another first for Tali to see. "You know about Mindoir?" When she nodded he continued. "I was there when it happened, of course. Still just a kid. I watched batarian slavers pillaging the colony. Butchering anyone they thought wouldn't make a good slave. Friends, family, strangers. I watched Mindoir burn and there was nothing I could do to stop them. For a long time after that, Tali... I hated batarians. Every single one of them."

"I... I can understand why.." Tali said, but Shepard shook his head.

"No, you can't really. Be grateful that you can't. I don't mean to belittle your people's history, or what you have to live with but... it's different. Not better or worse. Just... different." Shepard rested his elbows on the table, supporting his forehead with his hands. "I watched it all happen. In person. I watched my parents being _murdered_ right in front of me. I didn't just hate batarians. I was ready to kill them all. I didn't join the Alliance to protect other people. I joined up because I knew they were the ones going after slavers and pirates like them. I wanted revenge." Shepard's voice changed on that last word. As if the taste of it made him sick.

"I had no idea." Tali said softly.

"They almost didn't let me enlist, you know." Shepard said absently. "Even the recruitment office could tell I was messed up after what had happened. Entirely too eager to get out there and get blood on my hands. If I hadn't gotten a lungful of eezo the year before the attack, I probably wouldn't have made the cut. But the Alliance never passes up a biotic recruit."

"I thought you had to be born a biotic?" Tali said quizzically.

"Most of the time, yes. According to the doctors I was exposed in utero like all the other biotics, but the eezo in my nerves never did anything. That second exposure fixed whatever went wrong. I had only been fitted with implants the year before. As soon as I signed all the papers, I was out in training. They gave me an amp, a rifle and some armor and proceeded to kick my ass until I straightened up. In a few years I was almost respectable again."

Tali shook her head at that. "I have a hard time imagining you being not respectable."

"I'll take that as a compliment," Shepard said. "Point is that I was still hell bent on going after batarian slavers. I worked hard to get into special forces, eventually made all the way to N7. The best the Alliance has, if you believe the brochures. Went on a lot of missions. Did get to take down some slaving and pirate rings. Thought it was long overdue justice. The heroic human Alliance vs the evil batarians. Felt that way right up until Elysium."

"I heard about the attack. Everyone says you held off an entire invading army of slavers single handed."

Shepard grimaced at that. He straightened up in his chair and stared straight ahead as thought not really looking at the cabin around them. "People always want it to be just one hero, don't they? I was on leave at the time. When word came of the fleet bearing down on the colony's largest city, everyone was running for the main shelter. After Mindoir, every human colony in Alliance territory had them built. We were still in deep trouble though. The main Alliance garrison was taken down first before anything could be done. All we had was a police department and a civilian militia. No plan, no arsenal, just whatever sidearms and rifles people happened to have."

"What did you do?" Tali asked.

"I put on my armor, grabbed my guns and I got those people organized. We had teams at every access point to the shelter. Every road in was set up to be a killing ground, and the walls were fortified."

"What happened?" Tali prompted quietly.

"I was looking through the scope of my sniper rifle when the first of their ground forces came in range. I was expecting batarians, and there were a lot of them. But there were krogan too. And vorcha. Asari, turians, salarians and... humans."

"Keelah," Tali breathed, "They were attacking their own people?"

Shepard nodded grimly. "One of the ones leading the groups was human. Shouted for us to surrender. Said maybe they'd only take some of us. That they'd go easy on the women and children if we did."

"And if you didn't?"

"I have no idea." Shepard said. "I shot him before he said anything else. Arrogant bastard wasn't even wearing a helmet. Should have gotten his money back for his shields, too."

"Sounds like he deserved it to me." Tali said firmly.

Shepard leaned forward a bit and rested his arms on the table again. "After a first hour or two, it was clear they weren't going to just shoot us and waltz inside over our bodies so they pulled back their infantry. Then they brought in a light frigate and blew my section of the fortifications to hell. Killed just about all the defenders at my position. If it weren't for my biotics, I'd have been crushed in the debris like everyone else. Then it was just me, them, an old Mattock and a crate full of grenades... and two and a half hours."

"Two and a half hours? How did you survive?" Tali asked incredulously.

"I waited for the first wave to close in. Right until I could see their eyes. Then I gave them a dozen HE grenades. After that it was attrition. Headshots, biotics and what explosives I had left. If reinforcements had been a few minutes later, I wouldn't be here today." Shepard shook his head. "Media had a field day. They named the memorial after me, gave me the Star of Terra, and more fame than I ever deserved. And now I spend the rest of my life trying not to hate every batarian I see on sight. Some days it's harder than others to remember seeing those humans out there. All ready to ruin the lives of everyone in that colony for some credits. I just try to remember that if my own people can sink to that kind of level... then I have no right to pass judgment on entire species ever again."

"Somehow, I don't think you'd be wrong to hate someone like Balak," Tali said. "He was ready to kill all those people. Using hostages..."

Shepard scowled at that. "If he hadn't gotten those hostages I could have stopped him then and there. How many more people are going to die because I let him go?"

Tali's hand slid across the smooth surface of the table to touch Shepard's while she answered. "You can't know. But there were people right there, today, who are still alive because of you."

The tension slowly bled out of Shepard face. After a moment he shrugged. "I suppose so. I guess the real causality of today is my reputation with you. Still interested in spending time talking to a recovering racist?"

Tali smiled under her helmet. "You reputation is still intact, Shepard."

"That's something, at least."

A quarian environmental suit is a complex device. Each one is equipped with a suite of high tech systems for keeping it's wearer safe and alive in the harshest of climates. It's temperature regulation was by far the most flexible setting. It was inclined to leave her body temperature alone until things started to become dangerous. Even so, the material did dull things out and cause a notable lag between the situation outside changing, and her body being able to tell. So when Tali began to register Shepard's body heat through the fingers of her glove she realized that she had been effectively holding his hand for a minute or two.

Tali's face heated up far more than her hand had as she quickly slid it back and put it on her lap, under the table, far, far away from Shepard. A quick glance at Shepard's hand revealed him doing much the same thing as her, thought somewhat less obviously. He cleared his throat a bit before speaking again.

"By the way, that engineer, Atwell? He decided I needed some kind of repayment after everything that happened." Shepard rose from his chair and walked over to his desk as he spoke. A moment later he was back and put a case on the table when he sat back down. "Ended up giving me this." Shepard slid the case over to Tali, clearly intending her to open it. Curious as to its contents, Tali opened the case up and audibly gasped at what she saw.

"That's.. a Savant X omnitool!"

"I'm going to assume that's a good model?" Shepard asked.

"It's one of the best there is! Even unmodified this would make my Logic Arrest look like a child's toy." Tali said eagerly. "You will be able to get a lot of use out of this, Shepard."

"Tali, I wouldn't know what to do with a tool like that one. I'm giving it to you."

"What? No! I couldn't possibly... I mean, he gave it to you for saving Terra Nova, right?"

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Was I the only one there?"

"No, but-"

"And are you being paid for all your work on the Normandy?"

"No," Tali said again, "but-"

"And were you not the one who actually knew how to turn those fusion torches off?"

"You were the one in charge," Tali protested. "He gave it to you, so it's your omnitool."

"Either it's yours directly, or yours because it's mine and I can give it away as I please."

"You already got me this one," Tali said with a gesture to her arm. "It's still practically brand new. It doesn't need replaced yet."

Shepard smirked at her and folded his arms across his chest. "I guess there's no way to use two omnitools at once, huh?"

"Actually, it's quite possible. If you're willing to void the warranties, and you know what you're doing, you can combine omnitools into a single device. You see, they're actually already a combination of multiple modules..." Tali's brain caught up with her mouth and brought her hand to her visor. "Keelah, not again..."

Shepard was grinning at her now. "And there you have it. Have fun, Tali."

"That's twice you've tricked me." Tali said sorely. "Next you'll be trying to replace my-" She stopped short.

"Oh really? You have something else that needs replacing?"

"Oh no you don't." Tali stood up. "I'm going to my sleep pod before you get any more ideas."

Shepard looked at his chronometer and nodded, standing up as well. "Good idea. Sleep well, Tali."

"You too, Shepard." Tali said. She took a few steps towards the door before Shepard cleared his throat again.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Shepard picked up the encased Savant X and handed it to her.

"Oh, right. ...Thank you." Taking the case under her arm, Tali turned and made for the door. As she touched the opening control Shepard spoke up again.

"And, Tali?" Tali looked back over her shoulder at the commander. The smile he was giving her now was different than the triumphant grin he'd sported moments before. Exactly what combination of emotions it was intended to convey were lost on the quarian target. "Thanks for coming by."

"Any time," She replied. "Well, not any time. I mean, any time you want to talk. That is, when you aren't busy or... well... you know what I mean."

"Good night, Tali." Shepard said, still directing that baffling smile at her.

"O-oh, right. Good night, Shepard." Tali hurriedly passed through the door. Behind her heavily tinted mask her face carried an intense blush, and a grin so wide it felt like her face was going to break from the strain.


	15. Chapter 15

**Ok, according to a couple of reviews on the last chapter, I'm now the ME3 endings silver lining.**

**No pressure, right guys?**

**In all seriousness, thanks for the welcome back. Please do not take this relatively fast upload of a new chapter to be representative of the future. For the more specifically review inclined: I'm not entirely happy with the last couple paragraphs in this one so if they strike you as being flawed I'd appreciate any input.**

**Other than that: read, enjoy/hate, tell me why and I'll do more than clarify.**

* * *

A familiar stench reached through Tali's olfactory filters, no doubt concentrated by the still air inside the ExoGeni facility. Ever since arriving on Nodacruz in response to the distress signal being broadcast, the team had encountered scores of thorian creepers. It was obvious that ExoGeni had decided to export and experiment on the twisted creations of the Thorian creature and it was equally obvious that it hadn't ended well for them. Shepard moved in just ahead of Tali and Williams, shotgun at the ready as he swept the room for targets. Tali's suit automatically protected her from spores without any additional settings required, but the two humans wore sealed re-breather fittings to be safe.

_Keelah, I hate those things. Shepard just had to run over a few of them, didn't he? Now the whole cargo bay is going to smell foul._ Tali bit back a chuckle at how she imagined Garrus would react. No doubt he'd suddenly be very open to letting her take over the Mako's maintenance. Sure, she'd end up helping him eventually, but that didn't mean she wasn't going to enjoy his discomfort for a little while. Quarians may have to put cooperation and mutual benefit first, but a little bit of teasing was still par for the course.

Her mirth at the idea of Garrus's soon to be annoyed reactions faded quickly as the squad moved further into the base. _Where are they? I know those things are in here. The whole place stinks to orbit of them. So where are they hiding?_ A quiet shuffling sound caught her ear and she paused to listen. The faintest of hisses carried through the otherwise deafening silence.

"Shepard," Tali whispered, "I can hear them."

"You sure?" he replied in an equally hushed tone.

The hiss came again but much louder. "I think she's sure, Commander." Williams said.

"Stick together," Shepard said. "I want eyes on target now."

Tali's head swiveled all around, but she couldn't see them anywhere. The smell was getting stronger though.

"I don't see them!" Williams said.

Tali took a small step backward, straining her ears to pick up anything else. That's when she caught the sound of a drop of liquid hitting the floor, followed by a sizzle. She looked down and saw a small patch of frothing green liquid corroding a hole in the deck at her feet. _Oh..._ Tali's head snapped up to the sight of an emaciated mockery of a human face leering down from a displaced panel in the ceiling. _Hell... _The creeper's mouth opened sickeningly wide and let loose a sound akin to a person vomiting. _NO!_ Tali leaped backwards as far as she could and collided with Williams just as a stream of noxious acid poured onto the floor she'd just been occupying.

"They're in the ducts!" Tali shouted. "They're in the _ceiling!_"

"Take them out, now!" Shepard barked. His shotgun thundered and the creeper that had nearly gotten Tali was short a head. It's body dropped from its hiding place, pushed aside by another of the nightmarish creatures. Streams of acid were pouring down from several other areas of the ceiling, followed by more of the things. The squad opened fire on what was rapidly becoming a thick crowd of enemies.

The combined weapons fire was effective when the rounds hit home, but the sheer numbers of the creepers was letting them gain ground. They just kept pressing in on the trio until they were being backed into a corner. Shepard lashed out with his biotics and scattered a number of them but they were not disabled. A pair of creepers made a run directly at Tali. Williams poured a steady stream of assault rifle slugs into one of them until it more closely resembled confetti than a lifeform. Tali's shotgun caught the other hard in the left arm and shoulder. The parts in question were rent asunder and the creature staggered heavily but did not fall. Almost faster than Tali's eye's could follow the remaining arm swung low and fast. Quick reflexes were all that saved Tali from getting gashes in her leg down to the bone. Three sharp pains shot through her left thigh none the less and the very tips of the the creepers claws came away red.

The breach alarm screamed in her ears only a degrees softer than her cry of pain. "Damn it!"

"Tali!" Shepard's voice rang out. "Fall back!" The Commander's body had burst into the same biotic flames Tali had seen on X57. He charged into the fray with fury more befitting a krogan in the grips of bloodrage than an Alliance soldier. A biotically enhanced swing of his fist completely caved in the creepers head and hurled its body back into a brace of its comrades. Still aglow, he reached out with his powers to pull on a massive shipping container by the door they'd entered from. The azure distortions swirled around the object as he yanked as hard as he could. The heavy crate toppled over and was set to tumbling thunderously across the room. The hoard of creepers were collectively swept off their feet and ground into lumpy paste as the great mass half-rolled, half-skidded through their ranks. A few further rifle bursts from Williams and the the base was silent once more. After the crate finally came to a halt, that is. Shepard let out a long and heavy sigh. He unsteadily holstered his shotgun and leaned heavily against the nearest wall for the support as though the effort of standing was winding him.

"Commander, are you alright?" Williams asked with concern. She made to walk over to him but Shepard waved her off.

"I'm fine," he said. "I just need a minute. Tali, status report."

Tali broke the slack-jawed stare she'd been aiming at the commander and refocused her attention on the wounds in her leg. _Keelah this is bad._ "It's not good, Shepard." she said. "I need to patch my suit."

Without waiting for confirmation of his understanding, Tali limped over to a convenient bench and sat down. Her breath hissed through her teeth as the action made the deep scratches hurt all the more. The suit had already "bled" a great deal of medigel onto the wounds themselves. The invaluable salve worked wonders for sealing up a cut against outside material, but there was always enough lag time between injury and the medigel congealing for some contaminants to get in. And the ancestors only knew where that creepers claws had been. She fumbled through her pockets for the emergency patches. She slapped them in place one at a time and triggered the adhesives with her omnitool as quickly as possible. All the time she was painfully aware that each additional second exposed to air escalated the risk to dangerous levels. Section seals were in place and her suit had automatically injected her with antibiotics but it could already be too late. The cut on Edolus had been from bare metal on a dead world. Getting cut by filthy, organic claws on a toxic garden world was a far worse scenario. It didn't help that her brain kept replaying Shepard's dramatic rescue over in her imagination. While his heroics had become a favorite focus of her dreams in recent weeks, it was very distracting to have come up in a combat zone.

"How bad is it?" Shepard asked.

"It's not good," Tali answered. "I'll need medical attention when we get back and time to properly patch the damage. This could end very badly."

"I don't get it," Williams said in confusion. "It's just a few scratches."

"Haven't I managed to tell the whole crew yet?" Tali muttered. She sealed another temporary patch and shook her head. Raising her voice to a more normal volume she answered Williams question. "Compromised immune system from three centuries of sterile environments on the Flotilla. Every exposure like this is potentially lethal. That's why I wear the suit at all times. Just breathing open air could kill me."

"Damn..." Williams said incredulously. "So, the whole time you've been going on all these missions, you could have died from a scratch?"

"Yes," Tali answered. "That's always a risk, especially in combat."

Williams crossed her arms over her chest and let out a short laugh. "You sure you're not a marine?"

"Pretty sure," Tali sighed. "I just had a thorough education."

"Do you think you can walk at all?" Shepard asked. He'd largely recovered from his attack but from what Tali could see though the narrow visor he looked worn out. "We can't risk leaving anyone alone here."

"Hang on," Tali said. She raised her arm which now bore her new Savant X omnitool and pointed it at a console across the room. A few quick commands and she was remotely connected and pulling up the facility floor plan. "This looks like a small place. Just two more large rooms down the hall."

Shepard considered the projected diagram for a few moments before nodding. "Alright. We move as quickly as possible. I want this mission over and done with ASAP, one way or the other. Tali, behind me. Ash, cover our backs."

–

The team was back on the _Normandy_ in a matter of minutes. When it had become clear that Shepard was not going to let the scientists who'd been experimenting on leftover creepers in that facility go without due process, it hadn't gone well. Not for the scientists and the security, at least. Even with an injured person on the squad the hired guns and researchers had been committing suicide by opening fire. An incensed Williams had declared that after all the ambushes, Thresher Maws and now this incident that they should just stop investigating distress signals. Tali didn't much care about future mission protocol due to being more focused on the painful sting of antiseptics applied to her injuries by Doctor Chakwas.

"You're lucky this isn't much deeper, Miss Zorah," Chakwas commented, "I may never have trained on quarian anatomy in med school but I recognize a major artery when I see one on a scanner."

"I'm more- ah!" Tali gasped as Chakwas applied the harsh antiseptic to the next cut. "I'm more worried about infection. I already feel a fever coming on."

"We'll have you sealed up again in a minute," the doctor assured her. True to her word, Tali's leg was cleaned and bandaged in record time and Tali was fast at work on a more permanent patch. It wasn't long until Tali was breathing a slow sigh of relief as the sight of a successful suit pressurization test indicating that full environmental sealing had been restored.

"Keelah I was starting to think I'd nehh.. neeah.." Tali screwed up her eyes against the building irritation in her nose. _No no no no no._ "nah-! _HNK!_" Tali's head and shoulders jerked sharply with a barely suppressed sneeze. "Ugh... This is going to be unpleasant."

Doctor Chakwas gave Tali a sympathetic pat on the arm. "I'm afraid you're already at the maximum safe dose for your medication. You've taken quite the exposure. If you're lucky, a runny nose will be the worst of it."

"That's bad enough already," Tali sniffed. "If I sneeze in here I'll need to take off my visor to clean it. I'd need a clean room."

Chakwas made a small upwards gesture. "There's always the airlock. After running the decontamination cycle it's as good as a clean room. I don't see any reason you couldn't spend some time in there."

"Tha.. haa..haa..! ...damn it." Tali brought a hand to her visor in an annoyed gesture. _I hate it when that happens. Now it's going to sneak up on me._ "That's a good idea, Doctor. I'll ask Shepard about it."

"Just tell him it's doctors orders if he gives you any trouble, though I can't imagine he would. The Commander is the type to look out for his crew. That being said, you are not to set foot on another war zone until I clear you. Light duty only. That means no crawling around in maintenance shafts."

"Yes, Doctor." Tali said thickly. Her sinuses were already maddeningly backed up as her body's reaction kicked into high gear.

"Any lightheadedness, nausea or other severe symptoms and you report to me immediately."

"I know, Doctor."

"Very well, you're free to go. Be sure to drink plenty of water." Chakwas said. "And take these." She held out a sealed box of sterile dry tissues which the quarian gratefully accepted as she slid off the medical bed and made her way to the door.

–

Tali's trip up to the CIC had been filled with several near redecorations of her visor. Her suppressed sneezes had drawn a few odd looks and snickers from the crew in the mess hall as she had collected some water and nutrient paste. _Let's see them put up with this and then we'll talk about how funny it is..._ Tali's sour thoughts came to an end when the door opened to the sight of Shepard in profile. He stood atop the podium overlooking the CIC and the galaxy map. Numerous holographic screens hovered before him, each one listing various status updates, mission reports and other assorted ships business.

"Excuse me, Commander?" Tali said tentatively. Shepard looked over his shoulder and promptly dismissed all the screens when he saw who it was.

"Tali, how are you holding up? What did Doctor Chakwas say?" he asked. A few quick steps brought him down from the podium to stand face to face with her.

"She said it could be worse," Tali answered. "My symptoms have already started and she suggested I could u...uuah... uah...! _HNKK!_" she jerked forward hard enough to make her stumble on her injured leg as she bit down on the latest sneeze. She felt pressure on her shoulder holding her steady until she regained her footing. Looking up she saw Shepard looking at her with concern written all over his face... and his hand on her shoulder.

"Are you sure you should be walking around?" he asked.

"I-I'm not that sick so far. I'm fine really." Shepard just arched an eyebrow at her until she amended her statement. "I know I'm not actually fine. I'm just... you know what I meant." Shepard finally let his hand drop from her shoulder. It wasn't until it was no longer there that Tali noticed just how much she'd been leaning into it. She visibly shook herself to get that feeling out of her head. "Anyway. Doctor Chakwas suggested I could stay in the airlock for a while so I could actually get some of this out of my sinuses without making a mess in my helmet."

Shepard nodded his assent. "Good idea. Let's get you set up in there."

"You don't need to take the time, I'm sure I can work it out."

Shepard shrugged. "I'm off duty in 3 minutes anyway. It's no trouble. You should know by now that I don't make idle offers." He motioned for her to walk alongside him across the deck. Tali fell into step immediately.

"There is one minor problem, Shepard." Tali said after a moment. "Does the airlock have any cameras in it?"

"Yes, a couple of security cams. Why?"

"Would it be alright if I turned them off?"

"Not planning to take off your whole suit are you?" Shepard asked with what sounded like amusement.

"What? Oh, no." Tali said quickly. "Just my mask. But, I don't want my face on camera. Let's just call it another piece of quarian culture."

"That's reasonable enough. I'll use my security clearance to shut them off."

"Thank you, Shepard. I appreciate this. If there's anyway I can repay you..."

Shepard gave her that same strange smile she'd seen in his quarters after the mission on X57. "You fixed my rubik's cube. We'll call it even."

"I hardly think that's the same ha.. haahh- _HNK!_ ….thing."

"I'm a Spectre, remember?" Shepard retorted. "I operate on my own rules."

Tali grinned despite her discomfort. "The Council might call using your privileges on the matter of the use of an airlock equating to solving a puzzle an abuse of power."

"The Council has said a lot of things about how I do my job," Shepard said dismissively. They came to a stop at the airlock door. Shepard entered his security codes on the door console and motioned for Tali to step inside. "It's all yours. Controls are open to you so feel free to use it as you see fit. I imagine having someone walk in on you would be a problem."

"You could say that," Tali agreed. "Thank you, Shepard."

"Any time."

–

"Huahh.. huaa hua-_CHOO! _...guah.. I _hate_ my immune system," Tali mumbled into her latest tissue. She used it to wipe off her irritated nose before crumpling the no longer sterile material up and tossing it aside. She'd run a triple decontamination cycle and quadruple checked the small chamber for additional video equipment before she'd finally taken off her mask. Shortly thereafter she decided to remove her entire helmet. Now she sat on the hard floor with her back to the wall and tried to derive some kind of enjoyment from having an uncovered head for the first time since she'd been on pilgrimage. She had even considered untying her hair for a while but had decided against it. The last thing she wanted on top of an illness was to get any of the godforsaken material being generated by her sinuses in her hair.

Tali let her head back until it bumped against the metal wall. _If I hadn't been so damned careless I wouldn't be stuck in here blowing my nose over and over. How much can I even output? I must have lost a few _pounds_ by now._ She made to put an hand over her visor and jumped when her glove hit her face instead. She gave the offending digits an accusing look before dropping her arm. _I am so bored._

Tali started a bit when her omnitool beeped at her. When she powered the display she was greeted with an incoming voice call request labeled 'Commander Shepard'. She eagerly pushed the accept key and greeted him happily. "Shepard, what can I do for you?"

"Tali? Is that you? You sound... different." Shepard said uncertainly.

"What?" _Oh,_ o_f course, I'm not wearing my mask. _"Oh, sorry, my voice filter is in my mask. I'll put it back on."

"No, don't worry about it," Shepard said quickly. "I was just surprised. I didn't realize your masks speakers made quite that dramatic a change. How are you feeling?"

"As well as I could hope considering. It's the _Normandy's_ tissue supplies you should be worried about," Tali joked. "At this rate there's going to be a shortage."

"Sorry about this," Shepard said. "I should have given you better cover fire."

"And I shouldn't have missed that things head." Tali retorted. "It wasn't your fault. Besides, you took the rest out. I was impreah..." Tali made a mad grab for the tissue box "...auha..." she just managed to grab one and get it into the general vicinity of her nose before "... ah-_CHOO!"_

"It was a-"

"_UAH-CHOO!_"

"stretch but at least it-"

"_WA-CHOO!_"

"... worked. Bless you, by the way."

Tali blew her nose as subtly as she could manage and tossed the latest tissue onto the pile. "...ugh. I'm going to need a bag for all these. What was it you said?"

"Just a human custom, at least where I come from. When someone sneezes, we say 'bless you' or 'gesundheit'. I'm not really sure why**,** come to think of it."

"I'd listen to an elcor choir if it'd make this fever go away," Tali grumbled.

"I'm sure you'll be back on your feet and re-wiring the drive core in no time." Shepard assured her.

"Sounds more fun than staring at these walls."

"I had a feeling you'd be bored in there. Thought you might enjoy some company, such as it is."

Tali smiled at that statement. For a moment she felt much lighter, as though a great weight had been lifted off her sinuses. Cold, wet, disgusting reality kicked back in with a rogue drop making its way to the tip of her nose. _I hate creepers._

"Garrus sends his regards, by the way. Something about 'faking it so she doesn't have to help clean up the mess'," Shepard said.

"Should have known the detective would see through me. And I thought getting myself violently ill was a foolproof cover for my true motives."

"I'm sure you have nothing to worry about," Shepard said lightly, "He'll probably only try to track you down for a few weeks instead of years."

Tali let out a faint chuckle in response. "Don't worry yourself, either. I won't be stupid enough to pull a gun. I'd rather clean up creeper guts than get on your bad side."

"I can't imagine you doing anything that I'd need to put a stop to."

Tali shook her head. _That's just because you haven't seen my dreams lately. This crush has my subconscious going into very inappropriate places at night._ "Let's hope it stays that way."

Silence fell between them for a few moments before Tali spoke again, more out of a desire to keep Shepard around than any particular curiosity. "Has anything come up while I've been in here?"

"Not much. We're still in FTL. No news of any note from the rest of the galaxy. The main topic in the mess hall was speculation about... well... you."

"Me?" Tali was nonplussed at this information. "What is there to speculate about?"

"Our conversation in the CIC was hardly private. Everyone knows you're in there without a mask on. Most of the speculation is on what you look like."

Tali's face dropped into a scowl. "Of course it is. I might have guessed."

"I didn't mean to offend you," Shepard began.

"I'm just getting fed up with some of the crew. I feel like a glorified VI sometimes. Half of the time the only reason people talk to me is for some inane question about quarians."

"I didn't know that bothered you," Shepard said. "You always seemed to enjoy our conversations so..."

"What? Oh, I didn't mean you, Shepard!" Tali said quickly. "I do enjoy our conversations."

"I'm always asking you about your people though."

"Yes, but you also ask about _me. _You ask how I'm feeling, if I slept well, what I think about the mission or how my day was. With a lot of the crew it's like a trivia sess.. .seah.. ah-_CHOO!_ Ugh... I just wish some of them would think to use the extranet for a change. You'd think there was no such thing as an image search."

Silence pervaded the commlink for almost an entire minute. Tali was checking the connection before Shepard spoke again. "Tali, have you ever actually run an image search on quarian faces?"

"No. Why?"

"I was curious about the topic myself a week or two back. I might still have the results in my history file. Ah, here. Take a look. This is what came up when I searched 'quarian face'."

Reluctantly, Tali touched the link that popped up on her screen and waited. In a few seconds the display opened a wide screen showing a collection of image files. She touched the first one and recoiled from the screen as the image loaded.

"Keelah! What _is_ that... thing!" The image on her screen was of a generally quarian shaped neck and shoulders, but the skin was dark and glistening. The head was bare and oddly flattened and had a distinctly fish-like quality to it. The eyes were more like a varrens than anything, and there was no nose that Tali could see. Worst of all was that half the face was dominated by a partially ajar mouth lined with glassy, needle like teeth.

"That is the top image result I got during my last search."

"That is _not_ quarian," Tali said flatly. "We do _not_ have fangs!"

"Something about that did seem off, but the galaxy is a big place." Shepard said. "I wasn't sure until I checked the next image."

Tali flicked the display to the next image herself and gaped at the next insult. This one had a lipless mouth set with short, peg-like teeth. Triple layered jowls framed that misshapen maw and lead up to a pair of beady, bloodshot eyes. The skin had an unhealthy pallid complexion that made her own skin crawl.

"This is what aliens think we look like...? This is crazy." Tali flicked through the images one after another. #3 would almost have been kind of cute with its round snout and sad looking eyes if it weren't so creepy. On and on the images went, past things that looked like hairy turians or vorcha with purple skin. "Some of these are less creative than others."

"There seems to be a popular opinion that being a dextro species means you have to look like turians. Sort of like how humans and hanar look exactly the same," Shepard chimed in.

Tali chuckled at that. "Did you see number 14 here? It looks like a krogan mated with a volus."

"Number 20 wasn't even trying. That one is from an old earth vid. Unless you happen to have pointed ears, green blood and be named Spock."

"Not as far as I know," Tali said. She pulled back to the main listing and set the display to show thumbnails of each image. It was a menagerie of made up aliens both near and far from the mark. She idly flicked through page after page until one image caught her eye. She enlarged it and stared in surprise at an accurate picture of a quarian female. The woman in question stood with her hips cocked out to the side and her arms raised up and out, then bent in to run her fingers through a shiny mane of hair a similar shade to Tali's own. It was a posture Tali recognized as one of the poses of an old quarian dance that hadn't been performed in centuries. The dancer looked straight into the camera imaging her with milky eyes and a brilliant smile. The dark grooves and divots that traced through otherwise smooth quarian skin were clearly visible on her forehead, neck and arms, trailing off into the snug, sleeveless top she was wearing. It left her similarly grooved midriff exposed, but showed off only a tasteful degree of her chest rather than the shameless exhibition shown by the dancers of Fists Chora's Den.

The dancers stance was wide but lightly balanced on her toes. The intricately patterned skirt she wore was knee length and swirled out around her hips. The garment was open in the front but her modesty was preserved by a form fitting pair of shorts that hugged her figure down to mid thigh. Tali stared in silence at the dancer for what felt like an eternity. _She's beautiful... I wish I could compare to that._ Part of her wanted to pull out her mirror she used to see into tough to reach spots in maintenance crawlspaces to take a good look at herself in comparison to the image before her. It'd been a long time since she'd taken the time to actually look at herself. Maybe she had changed in the last few years? _Don't be stupid,_ she chided herself for her optimism. _That's a professional dancer from before the geth rebellion. How could you possibly match up to that?_ Finally her eyes dropped to the bottom of the page and she saw the comments attached to the picture.

"_FAAAAAAKE"_

"_suit rats only WISH they looked that good"_

"_Dancer, yeah. More like-"_

Tali closed the display in disgust. "These bosh'tets wouldn't recognize a quarian if she was putting her fist through their teeth."

"So, you can see why the crew would be curious. The extranet is so full of this sort of thing that we wouldn't know which one is right, even if we saw it."

"Yes, I see that. I'll tell you this much: no fangs, no tentacles and no spikes. How do they think we'd fit things like that in our helmets?" Tali drew a fresh tissue and blew her nose again. She spared a glance for her chronometer while disposing of the tissue. "It's rather late, Shepard. I think I'll try to get some sleep."

"You're not planning on sleeping in there, are you? It's not what I'd call comfortable."

"It's fine," Tali said. "Wouldn't be the first time I slept on a deck."

"That hardly means you should go out of your way to do it again."

"I'm going to be waking up all night to sneeze. I'd rather do that in here, without my mask on."

"...Alright," Shepard agreed with a surprising degree of reluctance in his voice. "Sleep well, Tali. Hopefully you'll feel better in the morning."

"Thank you, Shepard. Good night." The connection was closed and Tali powered down her omnitool. _It was nice of him to call me, even if we did end up on a bad topic. He really does care about his crew. This damn crush always makes me have the most childish thoughts. Just because the last time I saw him use his biotics like that was when he was facing a very personal problem, doesn't mean that's what happened this time. And it wouldn't mean that it was about _me_ in any case. He'd do the same for anyone on the crew. _Tali turned on the spot and stretched out on her back. _I owe him for letting me use the airlock. What am I ever going to do to repay him for all he's done for me?_ Tali grimaced as her imagination made some very... colorful suggestions. _Hormones and hero worship. That's all._ She rolled onto her side to glower at the wall. _That's all there is to it._

Tali's hands balled into tight fists. _But it's been two months! Shouldn't I be over this by now! So why do I keep dreaming about that strange, alien bosh'tet!_ She flipped onto her back again and glared at the ceiling as if it were to blame for her out of control emotions._ I don't want to have a crush. I don't want to feel giddy whenever he walks up to me. I don't want him to keep smiling at me like that because every time he does I just want to hug him and just keep hugging him until someone has to pry me off. But it's JUST. A. CRUSH. It HAS to be. That's all it is. That's all it can _ever_ be. _

…_Please let that be all it is._


	16. Chapter 16

**Thanks for the reviews on the last one, especially the ones on the specific requested topic. Appears the final paragraphs were conveying what I wanted so all is well. This chapter is a little bit shorter than the last two for pacing reasons. Next section needs to be its own chunk. A word of warning, the coverage of ME1 is nearing its end. I'm not sure if all the games will end up in Linear Progression or if I'll split them off into seperate stories. If I split them I'll be sure to let everyone know the title of the next one.**

**Other than that nothing else to report here. Read, enjoy/hate, review to tell me why. **

* * *

Tali had expected a lot of geth during the current mission and she'd not been disappointed. The geth's footholds in the Armstrong Nebula were still vulnerable and unfortified for the most part. The synthetics had obviously only been getting started when the Normandy team had dropped in and wiped them out planet by planet. Even their main base hadn't been all that heavily fortified yet. Against the _Normandy_ crew the geth had folded quickly.

Tali had also expected husks, given the reports she'd read on the Eden Prime attack. As if that hadn't been enough, the derelict ship with its converted crew on the borders of geth space was further, gruesome evidence of their dragons' teeth. Again, she'd not been disappointed. There had indeed been dragons teeth in use, producing the abominable shock troops animated from human corpses. Even with the hatred for the geth that Tali had been raised to carry and her conviction that they were the enemy of all organic life, the teeth made little sense to her. It seemed so cruelly vindictive and inefficient that it was out of character for a species based on logic. None the less, there were the facts.

What Tali hadn't expected was to hear singing when the geth in the final base were killed. She followed the sound warily; she never once lowered her shotgun as she traversed the base interior. The geth had been converting the captured structure to suit their needs already. The dark metal of geth technology clinging to the walls made her uneasy even with the lack of functional hostiles in evidence. She peered around the frame of an open door and saw the source of the singing. It did little to ease her confusion.

Projected from a partially modified holoterminal was the image of a quarian singer performing before a silent audience. Her words rang out clearly despite her mask, thanks no doubt to modified speakers. As a result every nuance of the sadness and despair in her lament came through loud and clear. Tali recognized the song, if not the specific performance, from her childhood. It was still in the fleets collective artistic databases as it was something from after the geth war. After it had become clear the damage their naturally weak immune systems, geared to adapting into symbiosis with the microscopic life of their homeworld rather than exterminating it, was suffering in the sterile isolation of the Flotilla. The lyrics and tone told of a race that feared their slow and steady slide into extinction. All their worlds lost, all their allies turning blind eyes and now even their own bodies starting to just give up on them. The song was despair incarnate. After far too long the singers voice trailed off into silence and the recording closed. Tali almost jumped out of her suit when she felt a five fingered hand land on her shoulder.

"Are you alright?" Shepard asked quietly.

"Yes," Tali replied in a similarly hushed voice. "Sorry, I'll get to work on the databases."

Shepard's hand slid off her shoulder with agonizing slowness. "Don't worry about it."

Tali's starting digging into the databases in a rather halfhearted manner initially. _They've probably __already flashed the memory. I doubt there will be much left in here._ The first four control nodes bore her suspicions out at first. Each one had been wiped clean as a factory default server in standard geth procedure. As she moved to the fifth though she felt a jolt of excitement. The connection to it had been severed. Whether by some accident, design or a stray shot in the assault she didn't know but it represented a golden opportunity.

"Shepard, I may have something." Tali announced. "One of the data storage systems was physically disconnected from the local network. If we're lucky..." She strode over to the computer in question and knelt down to pry off an access panel. "...I may be able to bypass the normal pathway and get at the information. If the disconnect happened before the geth flashed the memory there could be a lot of data left."

"See what you can do." Shepard said.

"Already on it." Tali pulled a small screw driver from one of her many pockets and used to it release the fastening screws on the main output cable jack. As soon as it was clear she performed a quick scan with her omnitool and activated the fabrication module. In moments she had a serviceable wireless jack for her omnitool to interface with the system. The jack slotted in place and she made the connection. "Hah! I've got something! …Keelah..."

"What is it?" Shepard asked from over her shoulder.

"Data. A _lot_ of data. More data than my omnitool can hold in static memory. I'll need to use a high capacity OSD. Or five."

"Do you have enough?"

"Please, Shepard. I'm a quarian on a raid against the geth. I came prepared."

Shepard was still wearing the rebreather fittings for his helmet but Tali could hear the smile in his voice. "Excuse me, Miss nar Rayya. I didn't mean to question your expertise."

"I suppose I can let it slide _this_ time," Tali said in a slightly teasing tone. "Just be more careful in future."

"I'm glad we have an understanding." Shepard chuckled. Tali grinned up at the commander, forgetting for a moment that he had no way of knowing what expression she wore. On the issue of their exchange possibly bordering on flirtation, Tali's brain was silent. Right now she was too excited about the potential of her discovery to care.

–

Tali typed away at her console in engineering with a distinct air of impatience. Shepard was taking his time with his rounds today and she needed to speak with him. _Come on, hurry up. I need to know as soon as possible. Either my pilgrimage is over... or I have to keep looking once Saren has been stopped. What if he wont give me the data? He's given me so much already. What if this is the cutoff? I have to try though. If I can take that geth data home, who knows how much we can learn about them?_ The sound of heavy boot steps behind her made Tali look over her shoulder and then turn to greet Shepard.

"Shepard, I need to talk to you. It's important." Tali said quickly.

"I had a feeling you might." Shepard said. Tali was going to continue her half prepared speech but the words died in her throat when Shepard did something odd. He cast a look around the room, specifically at all the engineers at work around them. There was a pensive look on his face as he considered something. "Tell you what. Stop by my cabin after dinner. We can discuss things then."

"I... alright, Shepard. I'll just... keep working for now then?" Tali said with uncertainty. "Talk to you later."

"Keep up the good work," Shepard said as he strode back up the hall to the cargo bay.

Tali worked hard to maintain a facade of reserved calm which was not coming easy for her at the moment. She was sure the sound of her heartbeat alone was going to start rattling the ships bolts if it didn't slow down soon. Shepard had just invited _her_ to visit _his_ _cabin_. Rationally she knew that meant nothing. She'd read about alien attitudes towards living spaces and found them a very reliably and completely mixed bag. It could be anything from a romantic pass to wanting to give her a stern lecture in prelude to throwing her off the ship. The uncertainty of it all was driving the machinist mad with anticipation.

_He said he'd had a feeling I'd want to talk to him. Does he know what I want to ask? Does he know I want the data? What if he noticed my stupid crush? Keelah, that would be the most awkward conversation since my mother explained about suit linking. What if he did notice though? ...Would it be so bad? He'd never feel the same but maybe getting it out in the open would defuse it? If he asks... I'll... be honest. I owe him the truth. I'll just stand up straight, tell him what's going on and tell him that I wont let it get in the way of the mission._ Tali nodded sharply in accompaniment to her thoughts and she briefly felt her resolve firm back up. The feeling of confidence didn't waste time in getting a few holes stuck in it. _Who am I kidding? I'll be lucky if I don't run out of the room and seal myself in the airlock again. Some admirals daughter I am. Fight creepers, slavers, varren, krogan, geth and those horrible husks... and turn into a babbling idiot when this one person so much as smiles at me._

–

The remainder of the day, though only two hours in length counting dinner, seemed to take forever. She'd ended up nursing her nightly paste as long as possible on the pretense of doing something on her omnitool. This being the second tool she'd received during the mission the rest of the crew was used to her becoming totally engrossed in tweaking every last setting and feature. The truth of the matter was that she wasn't comfortable approaching Shepard's cabin with so many witnesses. Even if she was attending on his summons, she felt extremely self conscious about the whole thing.

Tali was nowhere near what anyone would call experienced in matters of romance, but she hadn't been born yesterday. Quarians were generally adept at spotting changes in posture and stance, even for other species. They might need to reference a guide to decipher the meaning behind the more idiosyncratic motions but they would notice them none the less. As it happened, Shepard's obstinate refusal to keep his face nicely confined to clean, clear and readily definable expressions such as those annotated for her convenience in a manual had forced Tali to study all the harder in her attempts to understand the man. So far she'd mostly only managed to glean more about the other human crew members.

Kaiden clearly respected Shepard a great deal, as did just about all the human crew. Joker's motions and posture were difficult to read through the effects of his Vrolik syndrome, but Tali could tell even he had a measure of respect for the man. Said respect was heavily eclipsed by sarcasm and flippancy, but still, it was there. Chief Williams suggested quite a different attitude towards Shepard with her body language. Respect? Certainly. Attraction? In _spades_. In fact Tali had been almost certain that Williams was going to make a move on the Commander at any moment. Oddly enough, just two weeks ago that had changed. Williams had suddenly become much less overt in her non-verbal signals.

Tali had been reminded strongly of that event only a few days ago, only this time it was Liara. Liara had ended up nearly eating her air filter in more than one conversation with Shepard that Tali had witnessed. Joker had called it something like 'foot in mouth disease'. The idea of bending far enough to lodge a foot in ones own mouth seemed about as unpleasant as choking down a filter so Tali had a guess as to what he'd meant even without consulting an idiom dictionary. After the quarian image search revelation Tali wasn't sure she'd be trusting that dictionary any longer in any event. The change in Liara's social blunders had been as abrupt as Williams'. It was as though a great deal of tension had been lifted from her shoulders all at once and left her room to breathe around Shepard at last. Shepard hadn't been spending any additional time with her beyond what had already been normal, so Tali suspected that Liara and Williams had both cleared the air with Shepard with similar results. The whole thing had further cemented Tali's resolve to beat her crush into submission. If Williams and Liara were turned down, what possible chance could she have?

At long last Tali looked up from her tool to an empty mess hall. Steeling herself, she rose from her seat and crossed the distance to Shepard's door. Pressing the chime much easier than her previous impromptu visit. Even so the wait for a reply as just a nerve wracking as before. She didn't have long to wait though with only seconds from key press to the door opening..

"Was starting to think you weren't going to show up," Shepard said.

"Sorry," Tali said. "I got wrapped up in my omnitool upgrades."

"Don't worry about it. Come in." Just as before Shepard stepped aside and motioned her to the round table. Unlike last time there was a black case sitting on it already, though Tali paid it only a brief moment of attention before directing her focus back on Shepard sitting across from her. "Now, there was something you wanted to say?"

Tali nodded. "You know the geth data from those geth control nodes? The information you uploaded to Alliance control? I want a copy of it." Tali grimaced a bit behind her mask at how bluntly that had come out.

"You want to bring this data back to the Migrant Fleet." Tali noticed it wasn't a question. _Looks like he knew exactly what I wanted. Why did he insist on delaying this conversation then?_

"Those files have information that could be vital to our efforts to understand the geth. It could be the key to helping us retake the homeworld!"

Shepard leaned back in his chair and looked her straight in the eye as he said his next sentence. "If I give you this data, your Pilgrimage is over. You'll go back to your own people."

"Not right away," Tali assured him. "I'll stay with you as long as it takes to stop Saren. But my people need this!"

"It'll take years to decipher and analyze the data," Shepard pointed out.

Tali had to concede the point. From what she'd seen while copying it the data was well encrypted. "Maybe even decades. But it's worth the time. This information will give us new insight into how the geth have changed and evolved over the past centuries," she insisted. _Please, Shepard. I need this. My people need this._

Shepard was quiet for a moment. The way his eyes flicked back and forth suggested he was searching her visor for something. _He's afraid we'll commit genocide against the geth. He doesn't want to be a part of that. It isn't how I'd want to handle it either, I just want the homeworld back. Once we drive the geth from it, they can go rust on some dead backwater planet somewhere. We get our planet back, or we will go extinct eventually. We have a right to survive too._ She was opening her mouth to try to persuade Shepard further when he finally made up his mind.

He put his hand on the case sitting between them and pushed it towards her. "Go ahead. They're your disks anyway. It'd hardly be fair of me to erase them without your permission."

Tali's chest tightened uncomfortably at the gesture. She stared at the offered case and swallowed hard before answering. She picked her next words carefully and formally in hopes of disguising her urge to dive over the table and hug him. "My people - I - owe you a great debt. One I can never repay. ...The only thing I can offer in return is what you already have: my solemn promise to stay with you until Saren and his geth armies are defeated." _Damn it I wish I could give you more than that... No! Stop it._

"I never wanted anything more," Shepard said. Tali had to fight hard not to try to read anything into that level tone of his.

"Thank you, Shepard." Tali's hands twisted together under the table, mercifully out of sight. "I'll just get out of you way now."

"You've never been in the way. You spend so much time trying to avoid causing trouble I'm surprised you ever sit down to talk."

"I could try being disrespectful, but that doesn't seem to end well for other people. ...Honestly, Shepard? You've given me a lot during this mission. Two omnitools, paying for all the paste I eat and sanitized water I drink, getting me away from Saren's assassins, and now giving me this data? Is it any wonder I don't want to push my luck? Everything seems too good to be true."

"I couldn't very well let you starve to death, Tali." Shepard countered. "I'm also not sure that getting you away from assassins by way of dragging you into fight after fight after Thresher nest is really much of gift."

"It's better than running from them alone."

"Fair point. About this data though...," Shepard leaned forward in his chair, his expression serious. "This is data claimed by the Alliance. As such it's classified. I'm protected by my Spectre status and while you're on my crew so are you. However, the brass would be less than thrilled if they were to find out I'd just handed it over to you. So, if anyone asks, let's just say you took a copy for yourself before I requested it."

"Oh, so that's why you wanted to talk about it in here? To prevent anyone else from being obligated to report it?"

Shepard nodded. "And strictly speaking you did make the copy without my telling you to. Just not a separate one."

"If it makes your life easier then it's fine with me, Shepard. I already told you I can never pay this debt back even if I wasn't already so deep in debt to you."

"You don't owe me a thing. You gave me the data on Saren." Shepard reminded her.

Tali folded her arms defiantly, "After you saved my life, yes."

"You probably saved mine on Ferros when those rocket troopers shot me. I'd have been easy prey for the other geth."

"It was easy," Tali said dismissively, "Especially since I still had the legs you saved from being crushed on Therum."

Shepard smirked, "Edolus. The Thresher would have eaten us without you repairing that cannon"

"Nodacruz. I'd have been in trouble if you hadn't crushed those creepers."

"That Prothean disk on the derelict."

"The derelict itself."

"Doesn't count, you sent that straight home and not as a Pilgrimage gift."

"_Does_ count. On the Flotilla we're family. It's just as good as helping me."

"Fixed my Rubik's cube."

"Gave me those games."

"Chasca. You took that husks head off when it got behind me."

"Chasca. 30 seconds later you lifted those husks that had cornered me with your biotics."

"Luna. Your tech skills probably my and Wrex's necks against all those drones."

"Which was only possible because of the Logic Arrest tool you have bought me a few days before."

Shepard shook his head at Tali's stubborn rebuttal to every instance he'd cited. "Do you really want me to recite every ground mission that you've been on?"

"It could be fun, but I have a suspicion that we're going to end up tied."

"Well then, I'll just have to save your life a few more times before this is over."

"...Wait, were we trying to prove who was in more debt, or who had saved who more?"

Shepard's smirk widened into a grin. "A wise man once said that one should always pick ones battles," he said. "In this case, I'll take that to mean whichever one means I win."

"Oh, so that's the secret to your success?" Tali laughed. "Confuse the enemy into forgetting what's at stake then claim victory? I had no idea it was so easy."

"You heard what Kaiden told Liara, 'A big gun and a confident attitude will get you through a lot in life'."

"Hmm, I'll remember that. I suppose I should have just brought my shotgun and "asked" for the data. Speaking of which, you bought me that shotgun."

"That was a consultation fee for helping with the restock workup."

"I can get paid in shotguns?" Tali said in mock amazement. "I wish I'd known that during the few jobs I had before joining the team. I wonder what the exchange rate with pistols is?"

"You weren't complaining when you started showing it off to everyone on the ground team. I remember that crack Ash made..."

"I remember," Tali cut him off. "I don't need to relive the moment."

"Fine then," Shepard said. "Speaking of Ash, you remember the first geth base we hit yesterday? You gave her the cover fire she needed to reach my position."

"Was that the base before or after I got pinned down by the geth on the sniping tower? Until you shot it, that is."

"Before, and it was with a rifle Ash fixed for me which was only possible because she was still alive because of your cover fire." Shepard smirked triumphantly. "I can do this all night, Tali."

–

Tali awoke only grudgingly the next morning to swap places with the next crewman on the hot bunking schedule. She and Shepard had indeed ended up talking well past midnight before either of them had noticed the time. _That's it, Tali. Keep climbing deeper. You hadn't fallen for him hard enough yet._ She yawned widely, scooped up a new paste tube from the newest box and finally dropped into her seat at the table. _Not that Shepard is helping. What's it going to be today? "Oh, good morning, Tali. I pulled this ancient prothean artifact from a Thresher's mouth with my bare hands. It makes geth explode and fixes immune systems! Also, it's made me even more insanely resilient, so now I can go into battle shirtless." Damn it. He'd do it too, just to make this worse. It's like he's deliberately trying to make me fall for him. Well, I'm not going to. He can just perform his incredible, heroic acts to romance __someone else._

"Good morning, Tali." Shepard said while settling into the chair across from her, "Sleep well once you finally got to?"

_Any minute now. Shirtless immune system geth destroyer._ "I got used to the quiet a while ago, so I haven't been having problems."

Shepard's eyebrow embarked on it's familiar upward journey, "I'd assumed you were still having trouble the way you stay up so late."

_Damn it damn it damn it need an excuse need an excuse._ "I-I don't need that much sleep you see."

That sleek, black eyebrow ratcheted up another notch or two. "I thought you said quarians usually slept slightly longer than humans?"

_Damn it!_ "Right, usually. I've always been a below average sleeper though."

Shepard watched her visor intently a few tense (for Tali) seconds longer before dropping his line of questioning with a shrug. "Well that's a first. I'd been under the impression you were above average in everything."

"I've never had a CO who was such a sweet talker," Williams said wryly. "This standard for the fancy, front line ships, LT?"

"If Shepard was the regulation for standard issue, we'd already have Saren defeated." Kaiden replied. The Williams and Kaiden set their trays down on the mess table and seated themselves in the next row beside Shepard and Tali respectively.

"It's certainly not the turian standard," Garrus joined in from the seat just past Kaiden's. "Doing well is just enough to break even in the Hierarchy."

Liara sat down across from Garrus and added her two cents to the exchange. "I don't have any military experience myself but most of the stories I've heard were about drill sergeants. Something about 'maggots', I believe."

"If you like I could make up something to yell at each of you about." Shepard offered. "So far you just haven't given me much material. But if you insist..."

"I'm not complaining," Tali said quickly, "If everyone else wants to be shouted at though, that's up to them."

"Shouting at subordinates is a waste of time. Easier just to headbutt them." Wrex rumbled as he passed the table en route to the cabinet of krogan rations. "You'd probably kill the quarian though."

Tali twisted in her seat to glare at the krogan bounty hunter. "You know, Wrex, if you're having such a hard time remembering my name, I could always hack your comm-link so that it repeats it over and over again. 170 decibels every three seconds ought to do the job. And don't think that hack program you used to activate the Grizzly's mass effect core would stop me."

"So, that's how you managed to throw that thing on Edolus?" Kaiden asked.

"Worked that out, did you?" Wrex grunted.

"The size of the detonation suggested the core was on. Active element zero cores have a way of magnifying explosions," Tali explained

Wrex tore open the food package and dumped the contents unceremoniously into his mouth. As far as Tali could tell he chewed the entire meal at most four times before swallowing the whole thing. "That's why I bought the program," he said simply. The krogan turned and thudded past the table back towards the elevator. "And why I left the grenades inside the tank."

"Clever," Shepard commented.

"Being an idiot is a good way to get killed," Wrex replied dryly. "Do I look dead to you?" Not waiting for a reply, he rounded the corner to the elevator and was gone.

"Not much for conversation," Garrus said.

"Perhaps," Shepard conceded. "Though I've gotten a few interesting stories out of him. He's had quite the career."

Before Shepard could elaborate Joker's voice came through over the intercom, "Hey, Commander. The Council is actually calling _you_ this time. Something about a lead on Saren. Wasn't sure if it'd be your thing. Figured you could tell them you prefer collecting old asari books and picking up space junk for Tali and Adams to tear apart."

Shepard pushed away his unopened rations and stood up. "Everyone has hobbies, Joker. I'll take it in the comm room."

"You sure, 'cause man are there some sexy mineral deposits down on this planet we're orbiting."

"I don't see you volunteering to pay for the _Normandy's_ fuel, Joker." Shepard sighed. The rest of the team watched Shepard leave the table quietly until Garrus spoke up.

"Does the Alliance let all it's pilots talk to their superiors like that?"


	17. Chapter 17

**Well, that took a while. Sorry about that, I had a brief bout of life. I'm over it now, and have a couple months of lowered activity so we'll see how the pace goes from here. I'm thinking just two or three chapters to end ME1, then on to ME2. Currently thinking I'll split into a different story in order to raise the rating to M. I mean, if I want to write Jack as anything close to accurate, I'll need to. Oh, made a few edits to previous chapters when I remembered that the elevator doesn't go to the CIC on the SR-1.**

**Anyway, this chapter bothers me but it needs out so I can move on. Read, review, enjoy/hate. Oh, and see the comment at the end for the answer to any and all questions as to how I'll handle Tali's face.**

**EDIT: For some insane reason, this chapter refuses to let me edit it properly to include the indicators between sections. I've been forced to use the huge horizontal line things instead.  
**

* * *

Virmire was a beautiful planet to Tali's eyes, at least in so far as any planet could be entirely judged by a single landing site. The blue seas seemed to stretch out forever from the island which the team traversed via the thrice damned Mako. Clear shallows rippled under the breeze blowing in from a storm on the horizon, each tiny variation in the waters surface shimmering under the suns light. The strange, four legged "pod crabs" blundered heedlessly by the speeding tank as if it weren't even there. How any creature could be so supremely unconcerned about the blast of the Mako's cannon or sizzling impacts of geth siege pulses was a genuine curiosity.

Tali rechecked the Mako's shield capacitors to ensure they were still recharging properly before sparing another furtive look out the forward windows. _I wish I'd been able to visit such a place peacefully. Illium had amazing cities, but this coast is fantastic. The old history files say that the ancestors lived at the coasts and riverbanks back on the homeworld. What I would give to see them myself..._ The Mako heaved beneath her and her stomach obligingly imitated it. _The Mako. I'd give the Mako. All of them, everywhere. They must be stopped._

"Nice driving, Commander," Garrus said.

"If you're saying you can do a better job with this thing, I would be happy to put you to the test." Shepard replied.

"You could get the galaxy's best stunt driver and it wouldn't help," Tali chimed in. "It's the mass effect core. It's vertically aligned and always kicking in to try to keep the vehicle upright while also lightening it enough that it's even capable of tipping over in the first place."

"I've been wondering about that. This thing is hell to repair, that's for sure. Is there an advantage to all this?" Garrus asked.

Tali shook her head, "If you ever find anyone who can explain how this core's design makes sense, be sure to let me know. I'd like to hear it myself."

"At least it can take some punishment," Shepard said. "Now cut the chatter, we've reached one of the AA towers. Garrus, take out the perimeter forces. Once they're cleaned up we're going in."

The steady fire of the Mako's machine gun came to life to punctuate Garrus' reply. "On it, Commander."

"Main hull integrity intact," Tali reported. _If he pulls another ramp like that, I'm going to throw up._ "But the front right axle is showing strain. Don't hit anything with that wheel." At Tali's words, Shepard swerved to the right. An unfortunate geth trooper found itself being run over by three left wheels in rapid succession before being left in the Mako's wake to rust in the shallow water.

"Colossus dead ahead!" Garrus shouted when they rounded the next corner. Shepard slammed the Mako into reverse, but wasn't fast enough to avoid the walking tank's opening salvo. Pulse rounds pummeled the Mako's shields severely with their phasic envelopes. To top it off, just before Shepard got them into safe cover, the bright purple-white aura of a siege pulse enveloped the tank.

"Our shields are down!" Tali shouted over the sudden alarms

"Is there another route?" Shepard called back to her over his shoulder.

"No, this is the only access point to the second AA tower. And you can forget about just driving past it. It has a clear line of fire all the way to the gate. It will reach us before our shields have a chance to fully recharge. The best I can give you is 30%."

"It'll have to do. I'm going to have to keep us moving constantly to avoid the fire from that thing. Give me as much firepower as you can, Garrus. Tali, do whatever you can to get more shields up. Cut power to life support if it will help. We don't need it on a garden world."

"You can't just shove more electricity into something to make it work," Tali sighed. "Unless the problem is a power shortage, all that does is turn other things off. Damned vids always make sound like you can just 'divert power' and make everything magically work again-"

"I'm sure that's fascinating," Garrus interrupted. "But you may want to stop talking now."

"Why is that?" Tali asked, somewhat indignantly.

"Because once Shepard floors it again, you're likely to bite your tongue off the first time he makes a turn."

"That's it, Garrus."Shepard began ominously. "Next time, you're driving. And you'd better not so much as put a scratch on it." Tali's quiet snicker died quickly at the sight of a spindly metal leg stepping past the rock formations shielding the Mako from fire.

"...Shields only stop fast, small objects, don't they?" Shepard asked.

Tali nodded, "Yes, that's right. Anything to slow or two large relative to the size of the field and... oh please no." Shepard's foot pushed down on the accelerator. "No, no, no." The Mako built up speed slowly but surely, using every bit of its power to barrel straight at that spindly leg.

Garrus did a double take at the approaching tank, "Commander, what are you-, no. No, that's crazy."

_Keelah, he's insane!_ The Mako struck the Colossus' leg head on at maximum speed. Tali jerked forward hard in her seat, though not as far as she should have as the Mako hadn't stopped moving. Neither had the metal limb Shepard had aimed for. In truth, the leg was moving far faster than before, and in more directions as well. Shepard yanked the wheel hard and slammed on the brakes, putting the tank into a skid until it came to a halt facing directly at the toppled geth machine.

"Any time you want to finish it off, Garrus." Shepard prompted calmly. "I doubt that its guns are broken."

* * *

The atmosphere in the salarian camp was tense enough to snap a Thresher's spine. The Council had said that the unclear transmission had come in via critical channels, but to think that they'd found an entire base run by Saren that was devoted to curing the genophage? Such a possibility had never come to anyone's mind. It wasn't even clear, to Tali at least, what the point of it was. The geth were a virtually limitless army. They reproduced in an assembly line, limited only by materials and time. This edge had been one of their greatest assets in the rebellions, and still gave them an advantage over every species to date. It was doubtful that even a cured krogan race could out replicate the geth.

_It just doesn't make sense. If these "Reapers" Saren is trying to find just want to wipe us all out like the Protheans... why cure the genophage? Saren has to know we're after him. He can't hide forever, certainly not long enough to actually raise a krogan army large enough to be useful. Come to think of it, why is this base out here in the Traverse? If he's working with the geth, why isn't he operating beyond the Veil? There are levo based worlds that could support the krogan in that region of space, and it'd be suicide to follow him there... _Tali turned her attention back the situation at hand when Wrex's voice carried to her pickups.

"This isn't right, Shepard. If there's a cure for the genophage, we can't destroy it."

_This could go very badly._ Tali drew the pistol from her hip discretely. From where she stood she could see Garrus and Williams doing much the same. Tali had never actually seen Wrex angry before. It was easy to assume that krogan were always angry with their deep growls and casual threats of violence. Over time she'd come to realize that most of it was just status quo communication for them. Krogan threatened violence the same way that hanar spoke politely. It was cultural, ingrained, and ubiquitous. Seeing Wrex now was something else. Shepard was strong, but in a one on one fight at close range, Wrex was stronger.

"Calm down, Wrex. I'm not the enemy here. Saren's the one you should be mad at." Shepard said.

Wrex advanced slowly on the human. Tali could swear he looked larger than ever in his anger. "Really? _Saren_ created a cure for my people. _You_ want to destroy it. Help me out here, Shepard. The lines between friend and foe are getting a little blurry from where I stand."

"This isn't a cure, it's a weapon!" Shepard snapped. "And if Saren is allowed to use it, you wont be around to reap the benefits. None of us will!"

"That's a chance we should be willing to take. This is the fate of my entire people we're talking about!" The pair of them were practically snout to nose, with neither showing any signs of intimidation in the slightest. "I've been loyal to you so far. Hell, you did more for me than my family ever did. But if I'm going to keep keep following you..." Wrex took a couple steps back. "I need to know we're doing it for the right reasons." Wrex and Shepard's shotguns were both drawn and aimed at each other almost before Tali knew it was happening. She leveled her pistol at Wrex, but held her fire. _Neither of them are shooting. Maybe Shepard can still-_

"These aren't your people, Wrex! They're slaves of Saren. Tools! Is _that_ what you want for them?"

Silence hung heavy in the air. Wrex didn't move so much as an inch and his gun barrel was still pointed squarely at Shepard's chest. Williams was raising her assault rifle before Wrex finally answered.

"...No. We were tools for the salarians once. To thank us for defeating the rachni they neutered us all. I doubt Saren will be as generous." Another pause and then about half a dozen held breaths were released when Wrex finally lowered his weapon. "Alright, Shepard. You've made your point. I don't like this, but I trust you enough to follow your lead. Just one thing. When we find Saren, I want his head."

* * *

The empty voices of the Indoctrinated still rang in Tali's ears as the team continued on their path through the base. The salarians had been wrong to label it as just a breeding facility. The genophage paled in comparison to the prospect of an actual, universal, 100% effective mind control system like indoctrination. _How could anyone do that to another sapient being? Just... hollow them out like that. It's horrible. This "Sovereign" ship, where did Saren find it? Indoctrination is so far beyond our or even the geth's technology it's frightening. Should we really have let that asari go? And what if that salarian we freed ends up succumbing a year from now? ...What if we end up-_

The door opening to what Dr. Thanoptis had called Saren's private office interrupted Tali's thoughts. Strange green glints were present on the metal walls and railings visible from outside the room, but it wasn't until the team had entered that she saw the source. Down on the lower level of the room, below and before a metal catwalk pier, was a tower of silvery metal, wreathed in green tinted energy. Every engineer in the galaxy worth their pay was capable of recognizing the hallmarks of Prothean technology, but this particular piece was something she had seen recently in the _Normandy_ mission logs Shepard had made available to the entire team.

"Shepard, over here! It's another beacon, like the one you found on Eden Prime." she announced.

"So this is how Saren found out... This may have the rest of the message." Shepard said on the way down the ramp to the artifact.

"It's almost enough to make me wish we weren't blowing this place up," Tali said. "A fully functional beacon..."

Shepard cut her off, "Isn't worth letting this place and its experiments continue. Tali, Wrex, keep your distance. Last time I used one of these, it exploded. If I lose consciousness... I'm counting on you two to finish the mission."

"Wait, are you sure this is a good idea?" Tali asked. "If it does knock you out how are we supposed to fight while carrying you?"

"You don't. I'll either get the information and still be fit for action, or I'll be out and you two will leave me behind. Lock the door and try to pick me up with the _Normandy_ on the way out."

"Bad plan," Wrex commented.

"It's all we have." Shepard shrugged. With that he turned away and strode right up to the beacon. The emerald aura shifted and swirled, then focused on Shepard. He was yanked off his feet with arms halfway out to the sides and head thrown back.

"Shepard!" Tali made to grab him, but one of Wrex's massive hands clamped onto her arm. Struggling against him was a futile maneuver so all she could do was watch her friend suspended like a puppet with its strings all being pulled at once. Gradually he seemed to relax, turning his head down to look straight into the lurid illumination. Just as suddenly as it had started, the strings were cut and Shepard was unceremoniously dropped to his knees.

"Are you alright?"

"That was easier than the first time... I'll be alright in a few moments." Shepard pulled himself to his feet and shook his head experimentally.

"Get anything?" Wrex asked.

"I saw a few new images. Places, buildings, numbers. The Cipher helps me see them, but I'm not a Prothean expert. Liara will have to take a look when this mission is over. For now," Shepard motioned to the pier above them. When Tali followed his gesture she saw that ruby red interfaces had activated. "Let's see what we can get out of this computer."

Tali and Wrex fell back into step behind Shepard on the way up, but something in the air felt... off to the quarian. _I swear the lights have gotten dimmer. And why is that console red? I've never seen one with this layout._ Just as they reached the console, the haptic displays were joined by a much larger hologram projected in the empty air beyond the end of walkway. It was instantly recognizable as the same outline from the images of Saren's flagship she'd seen in the mission reports.

"I get the feeling something bad is about to happen," Wrex rumbled. The voice that answered him was deep, foreboding and coldly malevolent in a manner unlike anything Tali had ever heard.

"**You are not Saren.**"

"What is this?" Tali asked, "Some kind of VI interface?"

"**Rudimentary creatures of blood and flesh. You touch my mind, fumbling in ignorance, incapable of understanding."**

"...I don't think this is a VI." Tali amended.

"**There is a realm of existence so far beyond your own you cannot even imagine it. I am beyond your comprehension. I am Sovereign!"**

"Sovereign isn't just some Reaper ship Saren found," Shepard said, "It's an actual Reaper!"

"**Reaper? A label created by the Protheans to give voice to their destruction. In the end what they chose to call us is irrelevant. We simply... are."**

"The Protheans vanished 50,000 years ago. You couldn't have been 's impossible!" Tali protested. _Even the geth aren't that durable. Does it really expect us to believe it?_

"**Organic life is nothing but a genetic mutation, an accident. Your lives are measured in years and decades. You wither and die."**Sovereign stated with a cold contempt in its reverberating voice. What it expected of them in terms of credulity was a mystery, but it was abundantly clear that it considered them so far beneath it that their belief or disbelief wasn't an issue either way. **"We are eternal. The pinnacle of evolution and existence. Before us, you are nothing. Your extinction is inevitable. We are the end of everything."**

"There is an entire galaxy of races united and ready to face you." Shepard countered.

"**Confidence born of ignorance. The Cycle cannot be broken."**

"Cycle? What cycle?" Tali asked. In truth she wasn't sure she wanted an answer. Something about this... beings words was chilling her to her core. It spoke with such utter finality and confidence that it was hard to even consider that it was lying.

"**The pattern has repeated itself more times than you can fathom. Organic civilizations rise, evolve, advance. And at the apex of their glory, they are extinguished. The Protheans were not the first. They did not build the Citadel. They did not forge the mass relays. They merely found them, the legacy of my kind."**

Shepard shook his head in confusion. "Why would you construct the mass relays, then leave them for someone else to find?"

"**Your civilization is based on the technology of the mass relays, our technology. By using it, your society develops along the paths we desire. We impose order on the chaos of organic evolution. You exist because we allow it. And you will end because we demand it."**

The bottom dropped out the Tali's stomach. "They're _harvesting_ us!" she said in horror, "Allowing us to advance to the level they need, then wiping us out!"

"What do you want from us?" Shepard demanded. "Slaves? Resources?"

"**My kind transcends your very understanding. We are each a nation. Independent. Free of **_all_** weakness. You cannot even grasp the nature of our existence."**

Shepard switched tacks without missing a beat. "Where did you come from? Who built you?"

"**We have no beginning. We have no end. We are **_infinite_**. Millions of years after your civilization has been eradicated and forgotten, we will endure."**

"Then where are the rest of the Reapers? Are you the last of your kind?"

"**We are legion. The time of our return is coming. Our numbers will darken the sky of every world. You cannot escape your doom."**

"You're not even alive, not really. You're just a machine. And machines can be broken!" Shepard retorted. Tali was briefly confused by that statement given his previous stance on the geth. The moments brevity was only because the Reapers next words drove any such side matters from her head with the casual ease of a tornado against a leaf.

"**Your words are as empty as your future. I am the vanguard of your destruction. This exchange is over." **A sudden blast blew in all the rooms windows without warning. The hologram faded from view before the echos had even faded, leaving the room in dim shadows.

Joker's voice crackled in through the comm, "Commander, we got trouble."

"Hit me, Joker." Shepard replied.

"That ship, Sovereign? It's moving. I don't know what you did down there, but that thing just pulled a turn that should shear any of our ship in _half_. It's coming your way and it's coming hard. You need to wrap things up in there- fast."

"Orders, Commander?" Tali asked.

If Shepard had been unnerved at all by the conversation with Sovereign, he was keeping it out of his voice. "Let's head to the breeding facility. Joker can pick us up after we set the nuke."

Tali stole a last look back at where the hologram had proclaimed the imminent demise of all organic life. AI like the geth were dangerous enough. An AI the size of a dreadnought that was part of an entire race that had wiped out the Protheans, who were considerably more advanced than the current races, was another story entirely. Falling into formation behind Shepard carried far more weight than usual. With Sovereigns words echoing in her mind she couldn't help but think that they were marching straight into the jaws of death itself.

* * *

**Alright, so Tali's face.**

**First off let me say that I found that stock photo manipulation to be sloppy and lazy. Seriously? Just lop off half the hand and call it done? Lazy. That being said, I didn't take so much issue with the design itself. A bit plain, but how alien were quarians really going to be while still fitting in those suits? Besides, even if they were going to swap out the picture, it'll still probably be the canon quarian design.**

**So, yes. I am going to be using that general design for Tali's appearance. Calling the neck/chest/forehead marks shallow groves ending in similarly shallow divots. Probably wont mention color seeing as the insane amounts of lens flare washes everything out.**

**Now, why don't I just make up my own? For one thing, I am cowardly and unwilling to deviate from that level of canon material, the same way I wont change asari or turian appearances. Also, remember a chapter or two back, with the extranet search? The fake ones I came up with? Those were tame by my standards. My artwork is universally described with the words "creepy", "horrible" and "...there's so much wrong with you". You do not want a product of my imagination under that mask. Trust me on this. Eight inch fangs really don't suit her.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Yep, I'm still skulking about. Sorry this one took a bit but who knows? Maybe the next one will happen faster. Thanks for all the reviews. Been slacking in my appreciation lately, but rest assured I'm always glad for feedback. Praise or condemnation, bring it on either way. I think it was the size that bothered me about 17. Adding the next scene would have been too long, but without it, it felt too short.**

**So, read, enjoy/hate, let me know why either way. I'm aiming to get this game done soon.**

* * *

The roar of engines filled the sky above Shepard's team. A sleek geth dropship decelerated hard and banked in for a troop drop, right towards the bomb site. Tali cursed under her breath at the sight. _This is the last thing we need._

"Damn. Geth are sending in reinforcements." Wrex said.

Kaidan's voice broke into the open comm channel, "Chief, we just spotted a troop ship bound to your location."

"It's already here, and it's bleeding geth all over the bomb site!" Williams replied.

Shepard's hand jumped to the side of his helmet, "Can you hold them off?"

"There's too many! I don't think we can hold them!" Williams shouted. "I'm activating the nuke." _What! She can't!_

"What are you doing, Chief?" Shepard demanded.

"Making sure this bomb goes off. No matter what. ...It's done. Go get the Lieutenant and get the hell out of here!"

Kaidan cut in next, "Belay that. We can handle ourselves. Go back and get Williams." Shepard was silent for only a few seconds. Tali couldn't see his face from where she stood but his posture was pure tension.

"Alenko, radio Joker and tell him to meet us on the AA tower."

"...Yes, Commander. I-I..."

"You know it's the right choice, LT," Williams said.

"Stay alive." Shepard ordered. "I'll be coming to get you too, Ash."

"I think we both know that's not going to happen, Commander." Tali clenched both her teeth and fists at those words. _Yes, it IS. I checked that bomb before we left. There's more than enough time if we hurry!_

Shepard was of the same mind. "Move!"

The door opened to a raging firefight. Kaidan and the salarians were pinned in the far edge side corner behind a haphazard wall of crates and building materials by a swarm of geth drones. A fresh squad of bipedal geth entering from the far side of the area to join the fray were rewarded with a barrage of gunfire from Shepard's team. Wrex's assault rifle and Tali's tech mines paved the way for the heavy rounds of Shepard's sniper rifle to take the geth's optics clean off.

"Tali, fry those drones." Shepard ordered. "Take some of the heat off the others!"

"On it!" Tali confirmed. _Getting low on tech mines, should still be able to disrupt their shields though._ She drew and set her first overload mine and advanced into throwing range. A warbling buzz was the only warning she got before the floor before her erupted in a geyser of composite, water and biotic power. Tali was knocked onto her backside by the force of the blast; the mine slipped from her fingers. When she looked up to see her attacker she was surprised to see a geth unlike anything she'd ever even heard of before. It was a flying disk of a machine, sized to carry a single person atop it's flat body. Its rider was the even more unwelcome sight of a barefaced turian with pronounced side fringes and what appeared to be a geth replacement for his left arm.

Tali's eyes went wide and she frantically scrambled to get to her feet and run for cover as Saren Arterius brought back his hand for another biotic attack. She'd barely made it a few steps before the throw field caught her squarely in the back. The engineer was lifted off her feet and hurled forward at a sickening speed until she was stopped by the metal pillar in the rooms center. A crack echoed in her ears and everything dropped into darkness.

Tali's eyes fluttered back open. Blue sky was above her, gunfire raged nearby and water lapped at her prone body. A small spiderweb of shallow cracks now decorated her visor right between her eyes. With a groan she rolled over and pushed herself up enough to look around. To her far right was Wrex, splattered with orange blood and locked in hand to hand combat with a geth juggernaut, both combatants weapons lay crushed and sparking in the water at their feet. To her left was Shepard crouched behind the frame of the massive side door with his pistol drawn. The geth glider hovered over Saren himself near the middle of the area and beyond him the squadron of geth drones saturated the salarian cover with suppressive fire. The only comfort this scene brought to her was the knowledge that she'd only been out a minute at most.

"Sovereign's manipulating you and you don't even know it! You're already under its power!" Shepard shouted.

"No! Sovereign needs me," Saren insisted. "If I find the Conduit I've been promised a reprieve from the inevitable. This is my only hope."

"Together we can stop Sovereign. We don't have to submit to the Reapers. We can beat them!"

Saren's next words were grim, "... I no longer believe that, Shepard. The visions cannot be denied. The Reapers are too powerful. The only hope of survival is to join with them." Saren made a short skyward gesture as he went on, "Sovereign is a machine, it thinks like a machine. If I can prove my value, I become a resource worth maintaining. There is no other logical conclusion!"

Tali grimaced at Saren's delusional speech. _Machines _are_ logical. Once he summons the rest of the Reapers, what use will one turian be to them? What they don't need, they'll discard. He must be indoctrinated if he can't see that._ She could feel that her shotgun was gone but her pistol was still at her hip. Were she not still dizzy she might have shot him then and there. For the time being though**,** she was forced to wait and listen to the shouted argument and ongoing battles.

"You were a Spectre," Shepard said, "You were sworn to defend the galaxy. Then you broke that vow to save yourself!"

"I'm not doing this for myself! Don't you see? Sovereign _will_ succeed, it is inevitable. My way is the only way any of us will survive."

Tali gave her head a final shake to clear the last of the fog from her vision. She looked to where Wrex still grappled with the juggernaut and saw what she'd missed before: A geth stalker clinging to the wall with its hacking suite targeted on the battlemaster. _That's why he's not using his biotics! If I can stop that thing..._

"I'm forging an alliance between us and the Reapers. Between organics and machines. And in doing so, I will save more lives than have ever existed!"

_Shut up, you delusional bosh'tet._ Tali finally staggered to her feet and drew a tech mine, this one set to dampen. With a snap of the wrist she flung the device.

"...But you would undo my work..."

Tali's aim was still somewhat off**,** but the mine handled the rest. A pulse of electricity and malicious code jumped into the stalker's systems. Non lethal, butit was enough that its active suppression of Wrex's amp was broken.

"You would doom our entire civilization to complete annihilation."

Wrex's biotics came to life in a spectacular display of gravitational lensing and blue light. The juggernaut was hoisted off it's feet then launched in a high arc over the aerial drones and subsequently the platforms edge.

"And for that, you must die."

A packet of unstable mass effect fields erupted from Wrex's fist and soared towards Saren's head. To Tali's great disappointment, Saren chose not to suddenly forget all the skills that had made him one of the most dangerous Spectres in the galaxy. He ducked the warp with ease and smoothly drew his pulse rifle. A flare of his own biotics lifted him enough for the geth glider to swoop in beneath him again.

Shepard swung out of cover and opened fire with his pistol. Wrex hurled another warp which Saren avoided just as effortlessly as the first. Tali snapped off a few shots with her pistol but caught only only shields. Whatever technology the geth had given him, is was resilient as hell. The turian pulled up high and trained his rifle on Shepard. The glider automatically made adjustments to avoid virtually every attack thrown Saren's way. _Damn it, the damned glider is smart enough to move on its own._ Tali drew her fourth to last mine. _Let's see ho_w _much processing power it really has._ A few quick tweaks and she loosed the disk, aimed to soar just a little bit left of center. Predictably, the glider moved right to avoid it. It did however fail to anticipate that she had widened its proximity detection settings. The hacking code infiltrated and attempted to rewrite the gliders software enough to turn it against Saren.

It turned out the geth had gone all out in equipping that glider with intelligence. The synthetic didn't completely succumb for the usual brief period before the backups kicked in. But while the friend/foe software didn't switch detection rules, the device did manage to drop the upward thrust on itsleft side and listed like a drunken sailor. It was a credit to Saren's training and reflexes that he managed to land on his feet.

With an almost primal roar, Wrex charged the turian head on. The krogans movements were fast, but strangely clumsy and unfocused, a sign that he had slipped into blood rage. Saren nearly unloaded an entire geth clips' worth of rounds into Wrex to little effect beyond eliciting a few more splashes of blood. At the last minute Saren turned, ducked low and planted his synthetic shoulder into Wrex's midsection. Combined with a blast of his biotics, Saren almost effortlessly threw the raging krogan over his shoulder. Shepard took advantage of the distraction and pummeled Saren's shields with blast after blast of his shotgun while Tali flung an overload mine.

Under the joint assault Saren's shields finally failed with a snap of electricity and breaking mass effect fields. Saren swept his arms up and out to the sides, unleashing a biotic wave that staggered Shepard and knocked Tali off her feet. She was spun by the uneven form of the hasty biotics and landed face down on hard composite. The cracks already forming on her visor spread dramatically enough to sound a breach alarm in her ears.

_I have to get up. Can't let him get away. _Tali's body protested loudly against moving from the ground again. Her breath hissed through clenched teeth, her arms quaked with the effort of pushing herself upwards again and her back seemed to scream in agony at her attempts to become upright. A small shard of purple material dropped from her visor and the smell of unfiltered air tickled her nostrils, but she couldn't let herself rest or take the time to fix her suit. Not when she could see Saren lifting Shepard by his neck. Not when she could see her friend being held out over the edge of a lethal drop. _Too far... guns gone... I have to get up!_ Time almost seemed to slow before her eyes as she watched the scene, knowing that Shepard was about to die.

An alarm blared out across the entire facility. Saren looked towards the source in surprise. He turned back in time for Shepard's fist to meet the turians temple. The force of his blow carried them both far enough to land securely on the AA platform again. The geth drones ceased fire and dropped out of the air. Fresh geth platforms entering the area keeled over where they stood. _They're... abandoning their bodies? How... didn't used to be able to... the bomb! Get up!_ Tali planted a foot down and forced herself upright. Wrex staggered to his feet as well, snapping out of his blood rage just in time to understand the situation. Tali let out a strangled cry of rage as she saw the geth glider lift off again, with Saren onboard.

"Get back here you murdering b—!"

"No time! _Normandy, _Joker, get us out of here, NOW!" Shepard shouted.

"Chief Williams!" Tali insisted. "We have to—"

"No time." Shepard repeated grimly as the salarians broke cover to board the ship. Kaidan was being supported by a pair of the STG agents, Kirrahe in particular being one of them.

"He took a few hits," Kirrahe said. "He'll make it but—"

"I'll take him, get your wounded up." Shepard took Kaidan's weight and hoisted him over one shoulder without missing a beat.

Tali limped towards the _Normandy's_ open bay door as quickly as she could, but she was the farthest one out. A sharp pain in every left step told her that last fall had at least sprained something. Between that and the small hole in her visor, she knew she was in no condition to do much of anything else regardless.

Shepard handed off the Lieutenant to Garrus and Liara and turned back to the door. "Inside! Move, move, move!" Wrex made the short hop up with ease that belied his blood soaked armor. Tali on the other hand was just about at the end of her rope. Exhausted, bruised and battered, all she wanted to do was curl up and pass out in some quiet corner for about a week. A bizarre sense of weightlessness washed over her without warning. She saw a blue light pulse around her and then she was tugged forward off her feet.

"What the—!" she gasped as she swept easily through the air and past the bay doors. She collided gently with something solid which wrapped snugly around her shoulders, and put her face to face with an expanse of black armor. Her eyes went round as saucers when she heard Shepard's voice much, _much_, too close to her ears.

"We're aboard. Joker, get us out of here!" Tali's head snapped up to see Shepard's face only inches from her own. The last vestiges of a biotic field fading around him. _He- What- I_

"Alright everybody, hang on!" Joker called over the intercom.

"Damn it, Shepard! We have to go back!" Kaidan shouted. He was making a valiant effort of get out of Garrus's hold of him, despite the injury suggested by the large streaks of red blood decorating the front of his armor.

"There isn't enough-," Shepard's voice faltered. "... It's..." He turned his head to the wall beside the weapons lockers. Tali's heart sank like a stone when she saw that someone had activated a holo-screen. The ships camera's were locked on the facility even as they sped away as fast as Joker could take them in atmosphere. Shepard's arm slid from Tali's shoulders. Slowly he crossed the deck until he was squarely before the projection and Tali found herself following him. Kaidan stopped his struggles and watched just as still as everyone else. A blinding flash flared dead center in the image. For an instant a single spot on Virmire shone as brightly as it's sun. Tali flinched but couldn't bring herself to look away.

"By the Goddess..." Liara whispered.

Shepard stood stock still as the light reached its peak then faded. Tali tore her eyes from the screen and looked into Shepard's eyes. For a moment he kept up the dauntless facade of the great Commander Shepard. The man who never flinched, who never yielded in the face of anything. But then it broke. His eyes screwed shut, his mouth pulled into a pained grimace, his head bowed forward. Without thinking, Tali reached out. One hand found his shoulder, the other closed on his upper arm. For an instant his body tensed up and Tali feared he was about to explode. Mercifully the moment passed quickly and the tension bled away gently.

"I'm... I'm alright, Tali," he said softly. "Go let the doctor see to you."

"Are you sure?" she asked just as quietly.

"...No, but... do it anyway, okay? After your mask is... later."

"Alright..."

Calling the mood on the _Normandy_ "grim" would have been a massive understatement. The loss of Chief Williams and the other marines guarding the bomb with her had hit the crew hard. There had been near silence from when Tali had gone to the medical bay. A replacement mask had been fabricated and waiting for her upon arrival, doubtless requested by someone on the team who had noticed her breach. Now all she could do was stare at the ceiling while her spastic immune system wrestled with the contamination with the help of generous doses of medication. The hefty dose of drugs alone had made her woozy even before the illness had kicked in with a raspy coughing fit.

Kaidan had been patched up and gone to his bunk, Liara had retreated into her lab, Garrus and Wrex were probably down in the hold as usual and Dr. Chakwas was busy at her computer, leaving Tali without much in the way of company. Tali had been allowed to attend the debriefing, but had returned to the medbay for the night at Chakwas' order for observation. _I wish I could get out of here. I'm worried about Shepard... Losing Chief Williams like that... I can't believe she's just gone. She always seemed like one of the toughest soldiers onboard. If that bastard Saren hadn't shown up we could have gotten everyone out alive! _Tali's hands clenched into quivering fists of rage. _I want him dead. I want Sovereign dead. I want every last geth dead for this._

Tali turned her gaze from the ceiling when she heard the door hiss open across the room. Shepard entered looking as weary as she'd ever seen him. Tali averted her eyes when he stopped to talk quietly with Dr. Chakwas. _He probably wants a status report on Kaidan._ She looked at the prone soldier with a mixture of pity and anxiety. Hearing his voice when he'd told Shepard to get Williams instead, when he'd demanded that they go back for her had been horrible. Tali wouldn't claim to be all that close with the man, but she knew he didn't deserve to be saddled with survivors guilt for this. She turned back to Shepard at the sound of his approaching footsteps.

"How are you feeling?" Shepard asked quietly.

"It's nothing serious so far. Just a cough," Tali answered. "It's hard to feel sorry for myself after... But what about you, Shepard? Are you... okay?"

The answer surprised her with its directness, "No. But I will be. Once we stop Sovereign."

"We will stop it,." Tali agreed. "I know you'll get us there, Shepard. When we go through the Mu relay, I'll be right behind you."

"I've been ordered to 'standby' by the Council while they examine the Virmire report. We'll have their orders soon. With luck, there will be a fleet at our backs."

"Good. It'd be nice for the Council to be useful-" Tali broke off into a series of hoarse coughs. _I had better get over this in time._

"I should go," Shepard said. "Let you get some rest."

"Just let me know when we head to Ilos," Tali insisted.

Shepard gave her a reassuring pat on the shoulder. "Don't worry. I'm not about to leave my best geth fighter behind. Good night, Tali."

"Good night, Shepard." The conversation over, Tali was left with nothing but another rousing period of ceiling-staring to occupy her thoughts once Shepard had gone. _The Mu relay, right in the Terminus Systems. If we get a fleet in there without a war it will be a miracle. But there isn't really a choice, is there? The Reapers would be so much worse than a bunch of crime lords and pirates. That Blake woman had the sense to stand down. If there are many more Reapers like Sovereign out there, waiting to return.._ Tali shuddered at the prospect of a war on that scale. A war against the machines that would make the geth rebellions look like a turf war. _What did Adams call that war on Earth? The war to end all wars? If the Reapers really do come, that may finally become true. It's hard to wage war when everyone is already dead._


	19. Chapter 19

**Yep, another chapter sooner than a month. Don't get used to this kind of speed. I can almost promise you that it won't last. I think I'll speak to some of the questions that cropped up in last chapter's reviews at the bottom of this chapter.**

**As usual, read, enjoy/hate and review to tell me why either way.  
**

* * *

Tali felt like she was ready for anything. She had recovered enough to return to duty just in time for the _Normandy's_ arrival back at the Citadel. The Council had actually summoned them back to deal with Sovereign**. **Waiting for them had been a truly impressive Council fleet in formation around the immense station, just waiting for the order to drive straight into battle and end this threat once and for all. It was comforting to know that Chief Williams would not have died in vain. That they were going to make the AI's pay for every drop of blood they'd spilled since this all began. For once, she felt truly confident that they could end this.

The console in front of her beeped an alert. Tali snapped out of her thoughts to find the cause but found only confusion. _Fuel transfer aborted? What does it mean 'fuel transfer aborted'?_

"Engineer Adams? Something is wrong," she called over to him. "The refueling has been stopped."

"Malfunction?" Adams asked, crossing the deck to look at her console.

Tali swept through screen after screen of readouts on the fuel systems. "Nothing is registering. It could be a fuel sensor glitch?"

"Maybe. Tucks, check the fuel sensors. Make sure we aren't still filling up. Waaberi, contact the CIC. I want to know if we've had a change of orders. Tali, keep checking for any malfunctions. I'll contact Citadel Control."

A chorus of 'Yes, sirs!', rang out in response and the engineers sprung to their tasks. Tali expanded displays all the relevant systems she could think of to the maximum limit of the consoles projectors before syncing in her omnitool for good measure. _Nothing in the conduits, no obstructions detected in the external ports... Damn it, what's going on?_

"Sir, CIC wants to know if it's us," Waaberi reported.

"It's not the sensor, backups read green too," Tucks added.

"I don't see anything wrong," Tali said. "We should still be getting fuel. Any luck with Control?"

"They're just telling me to 'stand by'," Adams said in frustration.

The _Normandy's _VI chose this moment to chime in across the PA system. "Attention crew of the SSV _Normandy_ SR-1: By order of Ambassador Donnel Udina and Alliance Command, this vessel is in lock down, effective immediately. Any crewman attempting to violate lock down will be charged with desertion and will be subject to full disciplinary action under Alliance Military codes. Please stand by until further notice."

"What the hell is going on?" Tucks exclaimed. "The Commander wouldn't let them do this!"

"Relax Carl, he's a Spectre, above the law. We'll get out of this." Waaberi said.

Tali's previous confidence in their victory was evaporating faster than water on a hothouse planet. _Locked down? But... I thought we were going to Ilos? Why did they gather the fleet if we aren't going to attack? Why would they want the _Normandy_ to stay out of it? This is the most advanced ship in galaxy that isn't trying to exterminate all organic life._ Tali closed all the screens she'd opened with a wave of her hand. _I know the Council hasn't approved of Shepard's actions. It seems like no matter what he does they say he should have done the exact opposite. "Don't keep Liara onboard. Why did you kill the Thorian? Why _didn't_ you kill the Rachni Queen? Why would you blow up Saren's lab?" Maybe they've decided he's outlived his usefulness? Keelah, what's about to happen here?_

–

Tali paced back and forth across the rear of the CIC. _What's taking so long? Shepard should be back by now._ She glanced at Wrex and Liara, both of whom were standing by off the side, waiting for Shepard to return as well. At long last the Normandy VI called out.

"Logged: the commanding officer is aboard. XO Pressly stands relieved."

Shepard strode purposefully down the CIC hall, followed by Kaidan and Garrus. At the very front of the ship, Tali could see Joker turning his chair around to watch. Crewmen in the stations lining the room all turned in their seats as he passed. Every single eye on the deck was trained on the Commander when he stopped at the end of the central console and called up shipwide intercom.

"This is Commander Shepard," he began. "20 minutes ago, I reported to the Council for a briefing on

the fight against Sovereign. I was told in no uncertain terms that the Council fleet will _not_ be attacking."

"What!" Tali exclaimed without thinking.

"They're just going to ignore-?" Liara began.

"Yes," Shepard answered. "The _Council_ thinks that the destruction of Saren's base constitutes a crippling blow to him. They think the Conduit and the Reapers aren't real. They believe that all they need to do is keep a fleet here and everything will be fine. I've been directly ordered to let this go. The _Normandy_ is in lock down indefinitely until the Council thinks everything is over. For now, we have no choice but to wait. All hands, stand by until further notice."

Tali stared as Shepard cut the broadcast. _Stand by? We have to do something! We can't..._ Her eyes followed Shepard as he strode down the deck, straight past her and down the stairs without a further word. _…He wouldn't... We're not giving up... Are we?_

"I say we just tear our way out." Wrex growled.

"What?" Tali said incredulously. "Those clamps would rip the hull open! At best we'd have breaches in the armor and missing shield emitters. Our defenses would be ruined."

"Better than waiting for the geth to come and slaughter us all," Wrex retorted.

"Shepard won't just sit around waiting," Kaidan broke in. "He'll find a way."

"It would take a full assault on Citadel Control to unlock the clamps," Garrus said. "And for once, I don't think C-Sec would hesitate to fire."

"That's enough," Pressly said. "Everyone back to your stations. We have our standby orders. Return to your duties immediately."

–

It was easy enough to order a return to duty, but what was an engineer supposed to do with an ship in perfect condition that wasn't going anywhere? Tali stared blankly at her screen for what felt like the third straight hour, but was in fact only the fifteenth minute. The rest of the shift was equally idle. The stillness of the ship felt at odds with the ever mounting tension. Knowing that at any moment the Conduit could be found and whatever power it had unleashed. That the Reapers could return with the very next tick of the chronometer to herald their doom.

Tali finally turned from her console and left engineering without a word. The advantage of being technically superfluous was that she could get away with walking out to do what she had in mind._I need to talk to him. I need to know what's happening. I need him to know that I'm ready to do whatever he needs to get this ship moving._ She stepped into the elevator and hit the controls. When the door to the crew deck opened, she stepped out, rounded the corner and walked straight into a fully armored Commander Shepard.

Tali stumbled back with a gasp of surprise. Shepard's caught hold of her arms to stop her falling and her hands seized hold on reflex.

"Sorry," Shepard said, "I didn't see you coming. Are you okay?"

"Y-yes," Tali stammered. "I'm fine. Sorry about that. I... I was coming to... uh..."

"Check on me?" Shepard supplied.

"I wanted to make sure you were alright," Tali explained. "I mean, with the Council stabbing us all in the back and locking the ship down and I just wanted to tell you that I'm ready to do whatever it takes to get us after Saren."

"I'm alright, Tali. But I appreciate the thought."

Silence fell between the two of them as each looked into the others visors. Tali wasn't entirely sure how many moments it took for her to notice just how close together they were standing in the aftermath of their collision, and then to realize that they were still holding each others arms. This information dawned on both of them at much the same moment and they both quickly let go and took a step back.

Shepard cleared his throat before speaking, "I just received word that Captain Anderson wants to see me in Flux. If I know him at all, he'll have a plan."

"You think he knows a way to get us out of here?" Tali asked.

"With any luck, yes. You're welcome to join me to find out."

"I just need to grab my... weapons..." Tali trailed off into a frustrated grimace. _Why do I keep forgetting that I lost them on Virmire?_

Shepard laughed quietly. "Don't worry, Tali. We're stopping at the C-Sec academy first. I've made some requisitions arrangements for the entire team, your new weapons included."

"Sorry about that."

"It was hardly your fault. I'm just glad you recovered from that beating Saren gave you. If anything, I should be apologizing for letting it happen." Tali was about to protest but Shepard beat her to it with a raised hand. "Much as I'd enjoy the debate..."

"... we need to see Anderson," Tali finished for him. "Right behind you, Shepard."

–

If the tension on the _Normandy_ were any denser you could have cut it with a knife. Everyone was waiting for the moment of truth. Anderson had revealed his intention to go to Udina's office and override the locks on the ship. If he was caught, he'd be charged with treason. If he didn't risk it, his freedom wouldn't do anyone any good when the Reapers came. What they were about to do was illegal, criminal and Tali's part in such an action would see her put to death if she'd done it on the Flotilla. Stealing a ship was one of the worst things a quarian could possibly do. She knew it was necessary. She knew it was justified and their only hope of survival and perhaps that's why part of her was managing to find this so exciting.

At long last, her console indicated the release of the docking clamps. The engineers all sprang into action, triggering the various commands needed to engage the core and power the engines. Joker gave them scarcely enough time to finish before he threw the _Normandy_ into reverse and swung them out of the docking bay. The deck actually managed to lurch underfoot when the pilot punched the main engines and put them into their top sub-light speed away from the Citadel. Mere moments after it began, the escape was over with a jump through the relay. By the time anyone followed them they'd be safely in FTL. A collective release of held breath echoed through the thrum of the core.

"I can't believe we just did that," Carl said.

"Don't get cold feet now," Adams warned. "We all had our chance to bail out."

"Yeah, you scared of a little court marshal?" Waaberi teased.

"Not as scared as I am of that Sovereign. You hear about that monster? It's got guns that could gut a dreadnought."

"Relax," Adams said. "Just focus on the engines."

Tali had already tuned the others out. _Just a couple hours and we'll be at Ilos. We'll finally find the Conduit and make our last attempt to stop Saren. I hope he wasn't exaggerating his necessity in __Sovereigns plan. If this turns out to be a trick..._

"Tali?" Adams voice interrupted.

Tali turned to face him. "Yes? Is there something I should do?"

"There's a good chance you'll be on the ground team when we get to Ilos," the engineer said. "Why don't you take some time off? Make sure you're ready to go. We can handle everything down here."

"That won't be necessary, I don't have anything..." Tali trailed off. An insane thought had made itself known in her head, one she found difficult to ignore. "Alright. I guess I could use the time. Thank you, Engineer Adams. For everything."

"It's been a pleasure," Adams said, extending a hand. Tali took it and shook it firmly. "Good luck."

"Thanks. You too."

–

Tali's walk through the _Normandy_ was uneventful. On her way through the cargo bay she'd seen Wrex in his usual spot, staring at the crate containing his family armor with an odd look in his eyes. Garrus was absently cleaning and maintaining his assault rifle with the air of someone trying to keep his hands busy. The requisitions officer was busying himself with a data pad in a similar manner to the turian agent.

On the crew deck things were quiet. To her relief, not a soul was in sight. She straightened her shoulders and crossed the deck toward her goal with a greater measure of confidence,knowing that no matter what, she wasn't going to have an audience to her idiocy. A finger touched the door chime for Shepard's cabin and then tangled up with its opposite number in front of her waist in her perennial nervous habit. When the door opened a few seconds later she realized she had no idea what she was going to say.

"I had a feeling you might come by," Shepard said when he saw her standing there.

"If it's a bad time..."

"I'd have said so already. Come on in." Tali nodded silently and slipped inside his spacious cabin, again finding its sheer size mildly insane. At Shepard's gesture she took a seat at his table, the same she'd occupied her previous visits, with Shepard sitting across from her.

It was Shepard who broke the silence. "Was there something you wanted to talk about?"

"I... I'm not sure," Tali admitted sheepishly. "I was just thinking about the mission and, well..."

"You could use some company?"

Tali nodded. "But if this isn't a good time, I understand."

Shepard's eyebrow performed its usual antics. "Didn't we just cover this?"

"Oh, right. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it," Shepard said with a comforting smile. His expression became more serious as he continued. "Tali, if you want out, I won't think any less of you for it."

Tali jerked back in her seat a bit. "What do you mean?"

"You've risked a lot by coming on this mission. You've put your life on the line time and time again as a volunteer. But this is possibly the most dangerous mission yet. There's a good chance we'll fail, and even if we succeed and stop Sovereign's plan, some of us may still not make it back. You have your Pilgrimage gift, and you have a long and bright future ahead of you with your people. So, if you want to take your gift and go I'll understand."

"I can't do that," Tali protested. "I can't come this far and not see this through. Especially not after helping steal the _Normandy._"

"The Council won't chase you to the fleet."

"No, but the fleet won't take me back, either. Stealing a ship is one of the worst crimes a quarian can commit."

"I'm sure your father would protect you."

"Actually, he'd want to execute me himself," Tali said ruefully.

Shepard looked extremely uncomfortable at this revelation. "Tali, why didn't you tell me this? I'd have left you at the Citadel if I'd known this was going to get you effectively _exiled_."

"That's why I didn't tell you," Tali said quietly, dropping her gaze to the table between them. "Chief Williams and I weren't very close but... she was still a friend of sorts. How many times did I hear her talking about her sisters? About that family history she was trying to live down? She was my shipmate, Shepard, and they killed her."

"Ash's death was hard for all of us," Shepard agreed.

"You told me once that before this mission was over, we were all going to owe each other. I owe it to her to see it through. And..." Tali raised her eyes to look Shepard in the face again. "...I owe it to you, too."

"You've never owed me anything."

"I'm not talking about the guns or the omnitools, Shepard. I'm talking about _you._ You've saved my life so many times. You let me join your crew and you've always listened, always had time to talk. You've been a good friend to me, the first I managed to make on my Pilgrimage. I'm not going to abandon you now just to save myself."

Shepard looked at her for a long time and for once, Tali didn't flinch from his gaze. "You're sure?" he asked at last.

"I'm sure."

"I can't really say no then, can I? Just promise me you'll be careful."

"As careful as I can be," she promised.

"Good."

Silence fell across the round table. Tali began to feel rather awkward as the seconds ticked past. _Think of something to say. Think of something to say._

"I think Garrus has fixed the Mako," she commented. _That's the best I can come up with? Ugh._

"That's what he told me," Shepard said. "Probably... rerouted some power."

Tali's brow furrowed. "I'm telling you that doesn't work. Machines don't work better with more electricity. If you try to force too much in they... burn... out..." Tali trailed off when she saw the small smirk pulling at Shepard's mouth. "I _knew_ it. You're doing it on purpose!"

"I resent that accusation," Shepard said with a light air of mock indignation.

"Oh really... Well, perhaps you'd like to tell me all about how _you_ would handle field repairs and bypasses?"

"Omnigel," Shepard said instantly.

Tali rolled her eyes. "You aliens and your omnigel. Sooner or later they're going to make a security update to counter omnigel hacks, and then where will you be? A professional does it manually. Of course, you'd probably be too slow," Tali teased.

Shepard's eyebrows jumped upwards. "You think I'm slow? What gives you that idea?"

"I've seen you type."

"You think your reflexes are faster?"

"It's nothing to be ashamed of," Tali said innocently. "You can't be the best at everything. I just happen to be a little bit faster."

"In that case, you won'tmind proving it?"

"I'd be happy to."

Shepard powered his omnitool and synced it into the tables projectors. Screens materialized before them both with an array of games displayed on them.

"Choose your weapons," Shepard challenged.

Tali tapped the first game on the list, a two person competitive puzzle game from a salarian studio. The window rearranged itself to a three dimensional grid of numerous colors and shapes suspended in air, along with a countdown. Shepard made a show of interlacing his fingers and cracking his knuckles dramatically.

"I'll go easy on you," he promised.

Tali grinned wickedly behind her mask. The game beeped and the grids came to life in a glittering display of lights. The fingers of both players danced across their controls, and for the moment, Tali didn't have a thought to spare for the coming battle. She didn't dwell on who they might lose, or how close to death she was moving. For now there was just a game between two friends that, win or lose, would be worth it either way.

* * *

**Question answering time.**

**Geth did not actually fall over, I threw that in on my own based on knowledge from later games on how geth operate. Seemed reasonable to me at the time.  
**

**Will the revised ME3 ending change my writing at all? Lets just say that I actually dislike the endings even more now and leave it at that.  
**


	20. Chapter 20

**What can I say? I've never been good at sticking to my declarations.**

**I've long felt that I wanted to at least end this story of ME1. A few last requests from a few readers gave me the push to actually do it. I hope if won't disappoint too terribly.  
**

**As it has always been, I welcome your feedback in all its forms. Read, enjoy/hate in the way that, until this dark day, only the monsters of myth were capable of feeling.**

* * *

Tali focused an inordinate amount of brainpower on putting one foot ahead of the other down the nondescript hall. The funeral had been a miserable affair for all of the crew. Tali had tried to hide her tears behind her mask and muted mouthpiece, but judging from how Garrus and Kaidan had put comforting hands on her shoulders while she sat between them, she'd not been successful. Liara had took it little better than her. Silent tears had escaped the asari on more than one occasion during the ceremony. Chakwas, Joker, Adams, the other surviving crewmen, they were all in attendance. Quite a few Alliance soldiers, Captains and Admirals that Shepard had served with or under, as well as a smattering of members of other species had been present. Tali had finally met the weathered face behind the voice of Admiral Hackett after being sent on so many missions by him over the course of the mission. All had been silent through Councilor Anderson's delivery of the eulogy.

Tali had found herself admiring the human captain as he'd stood at the podium. In the brief meetings she'd had with the man, she'd never seen him so grim. Despite that, he had faced the audience before him without the slightest falter. He had spoken of Shepard as only one who'd known him could. His strength, honor, loyalty and devotion to those under his command. How he made friends out of subordinates, allies from those you'd least expect, and victory out of certain defeat. He'd called Shepard the greatest man he'd ever known. Those words had rung true with Tali more than any others spoken that day.

Tali had not been expecting to be approached by a dark-suited volus once the funeral was over. The volus had announced himself as Mula Turm, then presented his legal credentials and a summons to the reading of Commander Shepard's will the following day. Now she walked to the office with no small sense of trepidation. After her previous misadventures on the Citadel she felt almost naked without a gun at her hip. Her weapons, both those that Shepard had bought her as well as those brought from the fleet, were gone in the unknown vessels attack. Just like Shepard. Just like that geth data Shepard had let her take. The memory of that moment when she'd watched the searing particle beam punch through the cargo bay, vaporizing the locker with the disks inside made Tali want to scream. It was as if the universe was punishing her selfishness.

_I should never have stayed. I should have gone home the moment Saren was dead. Why did I have to stay? Why couldn't I have just been a good quarian and gone home?_ Tali bit down a fresh urge to sob at the pointlessness of it all. All the time on the _Normandy_. Everything they'd done together, everything they'd seen was for nothing. In the end, a simple patrol mission and a faceless enemy had accomplished what armies and monsters couldn't. Just like that, all she'd earned and discovered had been taken away from her in less time than it'd taken her to realize it had happened. Now she was no better off than when she'd begun the accursed Pilgrimage. No money, no gift, no prospects and nothing but heartache and an omnitool to remember her most valued friend by.

Tali's eyes lifted from the floor to the door she'd finally reached. Her finger touched the door control almost without her knowledge. Nobody sat behind the tidy desk the door unveiled, but a number of people sat in an irregular array of chairs in front of it. Heads turned to look at her standing in the doorway. A human woman with some of the darkest skin Tali had ever seen in the species sat closest to the desk. She wore an Alliance uniform and had her hair pulled back tightly in a manner that reminded Tali uncomfortably of Chief Williams. A second human sat slightly behind and to the left of her, also clad in Alliance blue. He lacked hair on his head entirely except for his eyebrows and was quite few shades lighter than the woman, though still darker than Shepard. Finally there was an asari, clad in commando armor and bearing elaborate purple markings across her blue face.

"Sorry," Tali began. "I was told to come here for... Shepard's will?"

The trio nodded to her in confirmation. Tali awkwardly took the chair closest to the door and tried not to fidget while she waited. A few incredibly uncomfortable minutes passed before the door opened again. A second human woman made her way slowly into the room. Her hair was chalk white and her skin wrinkled with great age. She also wore an unusual visor that Tali had never seen before, little more than a simple wire frame that held clear lenses over her eyes with no obvious displays projected on them or computer hardware built in. Her dress was simple and bore a floral pattern with no armor value whatsoever. She was a strange sight for the Citadel but Tali recognized her stiff slowness from the eldest quarians of the fleet. Realizing she'd taken the last chair, Tali stood up at once.

"You can sit here, ma'am." Tali said respectfully.

The old woman breathed a small sigh and gave Tali a grateful smile. "Thank you, dear. This station was built for the young, I think."

No sooner than the old woman had sunk into Tali's vacated seat, the door opened again, this time for the same volus Tali had met at the funeral. He pushed a rolling chair before him into the room; a metal box sat on the seat of it.

"I see everyone had arrived," Turm said. He picked the case up off the chair and nodded to Tali, "You may take this seat, Miss Zorah." Tali sat down without a word and waited for the volus to make his way to the front of the room.

"As you know, you are all here for the presentation of the late Commander Shepard's final will and testament. You five are not his only beneficiaries, but it was his wish for only you to view this recording. The items in question are contained in this case. I'll step outside for the moment. Call me back in when you've finished listening." With that the volus keyed up a holoscreen over his desk and exited the room.

"...Shall I?" The dark skinned woman asked quietly. When the others nodded, she touched the play button. The lights dimmed slightly and the image changed to a life sized projection of Shepard standing before them all.

"Obviously, if you're all here seeing this, then I'm no longer around," Shepard's hologram began. "With luck, I'm the only one of us gone. I'd rather not believe I've managed to take any of you with me. I hope I died for something worth dying for, but whatever the case I'm sorry I didn't make it out in one piece."

The hologram folded his arms behind his back and looked from left to right as though he could see the people assembled before his image. "Each of you knows that I _am_ one for speeches, but if you attended my funeral, I'm sure you've already had your fill of them." Shepard pulled a wry smile as he continued. "I'd hate to think the galaxy has fallen into such anarchy that the media couldn't manage to have fun with my funeral, too."

The asari shook her head. "Smug bastard," she murmured. Tali just sat in silence and let the mask's ducts siphon away the tears collecting in the corners of her eyes.

"Down to business, I'm afraid. Staff Commander Sandra Beatrum, in honor of all the times you kicked my ass in the name of biotics training, and all the time you spent putting up with my problems, I leave you my Star of Terra, the OSD in my deposit box labeled "Sandra" and the sum of 1,000,000 credits."

Sandra jerked back in her chair at that number. "You crazy son-of-a... how do you even have that much?"

"I should probably mention at this point, now that I've probably shocked the hell out of Sandra, that becoming a Council Spectre had some bonuses aside from being able to go anywhere and recruit anyone. It turns out that all the credits I've accumulated in my Spectre account are legally mine and mine alone. In other words, the rest of you had better start thinking of clever ways to talk me out of what's about to happen to your bank accounts. Though for once, I don't have to argue with you about it."

"On that note, Bogdan Morozov, I leave you the sum of 2,000,000 credits." Shepard held up his hand to forestall a protest he'd never hear. "Don't bother trying to talk anyone out of it. You know you need this. Your daughter needs it. You were always too damned stubborn to take my help when I was alive. You should have known this would come when you could no longer punch me in the face over it." The hologram leaned forward aggressively. "Don't even think about trying to give it away, or I will personally haunt you. I don't care if there's no afterlife, I _will_ haunt you."

The bald man shook his head slowly and uttered some heavily accented curses Tali's translator choked on. Tali felt distinctly uneasy with the atmosphere in the room. It was clear that these were people with a great deal of history with Shepard. She barely listened to Shepard's voice as he left a few items and a sum of credits to the asari along with his personal comments. _What am I doing here? Why was I called here?_ She shook herself lightly and tuned back in just in time to catch his final words to the asari.

"... if you'd actually managed to out shoot me that day, maybe you wouldn't be a million credits richer. I'd probably have found an excuse anyway though, after all the times you saved my life on those missions. Take care of yourself, Cesir."

"Like I said," Cesir said sadly. "Smug bastard..."

"Mrs. Blakenship, I'm sorry to drag you all the way out here from Mindoir, especially for something like this." Shepard's voice became more somber as he continued speaking. "I can never truly repay the kindness you showed after the raid. You gave me and all the other orphans from that day food, water and a place to come back too when you had little to call yours already. As far as I'm concerned, what you've built in that town is the best part of Mindoir. I hereby leave you the sum of 3,000,000 credits to keep it going. I know you'll use it to make the colony a better place. Just... don't forget to look after yourself too. Mindoir wouldn't be the same without you."

The old woman dabbed at the corners of her eyes with a folded square of fabric. "Your parents would have been so proud of you," she sighed. Tali bowed her head sadly. _Keelah, I had no idea about any of this. I don't belong here. I shouldn't have come. There must have been a mistake._

"I had better move on to the final person here today, before she decides she was invited by mistake and tries to sneak out the door." Tali froze, halfway out of her seat and with all eyes in the room suddenly upon her. _You did that on purpose, you bosh'tet!_ She tried to settle back into her seat as casually as possible while avoiding the merest hint of eye contact.

The image of Shepard donned that perplexing, indecipherable and totally infuriating smile she'd first seen that night after X57. "Tali, you haven't known me as long as the others here, so I owe you an explanation. The people you see in this room are the people in this galaxy that I'm closest too. Friends, _close_ friends have always been few and far between in my life. Even though we only knew each other for a few months, make no mistake: You belong here."

The recording paused for a moment. Shepard took a deep breath and then continued in a somewhat grave tone. "You were still serving with me when I died, or this part of the message wouldn't have played. Bear that in mind when you see the items I'm leaving you. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya, I leave you the remainder of the credits in my Spectre funds, which I'll spare you the embarrassment of stating aloud. In addition, you are to receive the remaining contents of my safe deposit box and my tags, if recoverable. The full list is being uploaded to your omnitool as this recording plays." Sure enough, Tali's omnitool beeped with a request to accept the upload. She consented without hesitation. "Whatever happened to me, Tali, I'm glad you made it out. Be sure to check the OSD with your name on it as soon as you can."

Shepard straightened up and gave the room another look. "All of you, thank you for everything. For all the time, all the memories, all the scars. On the off chance there's something to look forward to after life, I'll be putting in a good word for you. Goodbye, and good luck to you all." With that, the hologram went out.

–

Tali dragged her feet into the Wards hotel room that Garrus and Liara had previously paid for to keep her out of a homeless shelter until she made arrangements to return to the fleet. She'd been hugging a metal box to her chest the entire way from the lawyers office and struggling not to break down and cry with every step she took. Hearing Shepard's words echoing in her head was pure torture. It felt as if someone had gutted her and replaced her organs with solid lead.

Tali finally sank onto the bed, so extravagant compared to anything she'd ever slept on that at any other time she'd have felt almost compelled to sleep on the floor on principle, and released the death grip she'd had on the box full of Shepard's final gifts to her. She hadn't had the heart to open it in front of anyone else. The volus had kindly assured her that the contents were in order via promises that he'd never dare provide anything less to one of the team that had saved the Citadel, especially in Shepard's name. Tali had almost smiled at his words for the briefest of moments. For a second she'd felt like her old self, listening to Shepard tell her how important she was to the team. Those memories soured fast with the pain of knowing she'd never hear him say that to her again.

With trembling fingers, Tali undid the latch and hesitantly opened the box at last. Inside were all the items left after the others at the reading had been given what was theirs. A credit chit and an OSD, both with her name on them, a cylindrical case, and a small bag laden with a squarish object. She picked up the individual disk first and slid it into her omnitool's reader. A 'play video?' prompt popped up immediately. Tali stared at it for a long moment before finally pressing 'yes'. A miniature hologram of Shepard materialized on her palm and began to speak.

"Tali, you'd only be seeing this if you'd just been to my funeral, so I won't rehash what I said already." the hologram looked down, almost guiltily. "I'm glad that whatever happened to me, you're still alive to watch this. I'm sorry, Tali. I'm sorry I didn't manage to pull of one more victory, and I'm sorry for any pain I'm causing you. I just... wanted you to know that..." Shepard looked back up again with somber eyes. "...Strange, isn't it? I'm recording this message alive and well. You're just a few meters away in a sleep pod after what you called the 'best meal of your life', but just imagining the day when you hear this... We've only known each other for a short time, all things considered. But in the end? You're probably the closest friend I've ever had. I can't remember the last time I was able to just talk about Mindoir. I mean _really_ talk about it, not just acknowledge it and change topics. I always try to look out for my crew but I think this is the first time any of them have tried to look out for me in the way you did after X57. Thank you for that. Thank you for every evening since. Thank you for being there after Virmire, and before Ilos. Thank you for... being you." Shepard paused and awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. "That... sounded less weird in my head."

Tali sniffed back tears and shook her head. "It didn't sound weird at all, Shepard...," she whispered.

"Just a few more things before I let you go," Shepard continued. "I'm sorry I won't be there to personally deliver you back to the Migrant Fleet. I don't know if it's appropriate or not, but just in case I wrote a letter of recommendation for you to whatever captain you offer your gift to. Use your best judgment on that. I promise I won't mind if that's improper and you just keep it to yourself. No matter what happens, know this: I'm damned proud of you, Tali. The service you've put in on this ship has been beyond outstanding. Any captain would be lucky to have you on their crew. I know I was. It's been a privilege and an honor to be both your commanding officer, and your friend, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."

"I won't be making anyone proud, Shepard... I have nothing-"

"Oh, I nearly forgot. One last thing." Shepard's recording interrupted. "Just in case the _Normandy_ was destroyed along with me, I decided to cover my bets. Check the case in the box I left you. I hope I'm just being paranoid, but, better safe than sorry. Goodbye, Tali. Good luck."

The image finally died and left Tali alone in the dim light filtering in through the partially shuttered window. She reached back into the box and pulled out the cylindrical case she'd noticed before. _Is it... did he...?_ Sure enough, when she opened it she saw five high-capacity OSDs full of geth data waiting for her. A small, plastic label that had clearly been printed by an omnitool rested across the neatly stacked disks.

"I kept a backup," Tali read aloud in a bare whisper. "... j-just in c-case..." Tali sniffed loudly. _He just can't help it. Even dead, he's still saving me. Keelah, Shepard... why did you have to die!?_

Only one last object waited for her. Before Tali had even touched the rest of it, she'd known what it was, and what seeing it was going to feel like. She carefully closed up the case of OSD's and placed it reverently in the box again, next to the chit and the replaced farewell disk. With great reluctance she pulled the bag out by the loop stitched to the top and set the box aside on the nightstand. Tears welled up in her eyes when she undid the snaps holding the cloth bag shut and dumped the small, plastic cube into her empty palm. It sat there, just as cheerily colorful as it had been the day Shepard had set it in front of her in a bid to ease her boredom. One of the few items he had that he truly called his own and he'd gone out of his way to leave it behind so that Tali would be sure to get it if something happened to him. Her helmets siphons hissed into action once more to capture the tears that would otherwise being pouring down her face as she curled into a miserable ball on her side with the cube clasped to her chest. Tali finally gave herself over to the sobs that had been steadily forcing their way up to the surface since the moment Shepard's image had appeared on her omnitool.

It was many long hours before she finally cried herself to sleep.

* * *

**And there we have it. I proclaim Linear Progression complete. Even were I tomorrow to decide to continue writing this fan fiction, I would start another story to keep things orderly. Please do not take this as a promise or even a hint that such a story will ever be made.**

**I want to take this opportunity to thank you all. I expected to be chased off the site with pitchforks and torches when I made my first post, and the same expectation has followed for every posting since (including this one). But overall, you've all been nothing but constructive, polite and complimentary this whole time. I feel that if nothing else, I've gained some experience and possibly entertained a few of you a little.**

**So, overall? Totally worth it.  
**


End file.

Mass Effect, Adventure, Romance