Xenosaga 1. Initial Shock

Author's Note/Forward: This story is just going to be a collection of quick one shots (easier for me to write with my schedule) that take place after the end of the series. I'm kind of fond of imagining how Ziggy's character develops further into the future as he's left essentially with what he had before he died. This story is sort of the journey he goes through as he slowly heals from everything. Beyond that, how Juli, MOMO and him begin forming a family. There is a lot of cute and sweet things in this story, but I'll try to not let it become overly saccharine. :P

**I. Initial Shock**

He could barely stay focused on the tasks ahead of them, despite how hard he tried. His mind continued to wander to the events he'd witnessed not long ago. They were somewhere below the city by now. The last he remembered, they'd reboarded the E.S. and had continued on. Yet, his mind remained in the cathedral.

He thought of the irony, he could never seem to escape this place. Yet here they were moving forward and he still could not stop replaying the events that happened there so far in his past, and the last twenty-something minutes ago.

He'd let MOMO pilot the ship, and she'd been keeping up with the others. They'd encountered a few battles since then, mostly other craft that didn't pose much of a threat to begin with. She was doing a good job, and for that, he was thankful. It left him some time to further process his thoughts.

"Ziggy." MOMO spoke up, finally. It'd been awhile since he last said anything to her. She knew why, it was no secret. She turned back to look at him and noticed he was focused straight ahead with an entirely blank expression. She could tell something was wrong. Usually his brows were forrowed and there was tension at the corners of his lips. There was nothing, and she could tell when there was nothing in his expression, he was feeling nothing. "Are you doing okay back there?"

"...Ah." Her words brought him out of his almost trance-like state. "Y-yes. I'm fine."

She fell entirely silent, and then turned back to her controls. Her sensors were telling her his passageway would be ending soon, and they'd have to disembark. She was becoming more worried about him.

"Ziggy if there's anything you want to talk to me about, don't hesitate to-"

"I'm fine." He said, cutting her off. His words came out more sharply than he'd expected. He watched as she jerked and then sunk into her seat, head hanging low. He spoke again, using more care with his tone. "I'll be alright."

"O-Okay." She didn't seem to perk up at his reassurance, and she still felt somewhat caught off guard, even though she should have expected this.

He found himself hanging his head as well, and he let out a barely audible sigh. "I'm sorry, MOMO." He spoke up again, quietly. "Perhaps… when this is over, when I have a chance to sort out my thoughts, I'll tell you everything." He knew it wasn't a matter of when, but more of a matter of an if at this point. He had no idea what lied ahead of them, or if they would even succeed, much less survive at this point. Even so, the last thing he wanted to do was upset her, especially if survival wasn't an option. "I- I don't even know what it is I'm thinking or feeling, let alone how to articulate it. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Ziggy." She turned around to him again, with a slight smile crossing her lips. "I understand. I know you've gone through a lot just now."

The cyborg nodded, and then looked down at his own controls, having finally pulled himself out of his trance. "How are you holding up?" He asked. She'd seen her own fair share of events in the last few days, not to mention the last few hours. He'd been there to support her physically, but he wasn't sure how well he'd helped as an emotional support, especially since they'd arrived on this forsaken planet.

"I'm doing okay, I guess." MOMO pressed a few buttons and then shifted the E.S. to the left. "I'm a little shaken up, but… I guess everyone is right now." She stared straight ahead and then momentarily closed her eyes, sighing herself. "I'm afraid of what's going to happen. I'm worried about Mommy. I'm worried about Shion and Jr., and I'm worried about you. But I'm trying not to let it get to me."

"I promise I'll do whatever I can to keep you safe." He didn't know what else to say, or how to say it. He knew he'd grown to care about her and her mother a great deal in the last year. It was foreign to him, after letting himself shut down mentally and emotionally for the last century. He'd never thought he'd see the day where other people would bring meaning and purpose back to his existence. "For what it's worth, I'm here to listen as well. If anything is too much to handle on your own, I'll do what I can to help."

"Thank you, Ziggy." MOMO's smile returned again and she looked back at him. She noticed his expression had changed from cold and distant to something more relaxed with the slightest trace of warmth. She knew that if he was capable of smiling, he probably would be right now. Content, she turned back to her controls. It was only a few more feet until it was time to disembark the craft.


	2. Decision

"You should surprise her, you know." She'd just left his side as he sat down in his maintanance bed. She'd turned her back to him and she folded her arms.

He looked at her a little perplexed at her request. The only surprises he was used to was to take the enemy by surprise. He knew that at one time, at least from the pieces and fragments that remained of his memory, he'd surprised those he cared about with gifts, or something he'd say, or an action he'd take. "What do you mean?"

"It's just a suggestion." Juli looked over her shoulder and smiled at him. "She's been a little down lately, maybe… making her believe that you're staying behind because of her would brighten her spirits a little."

"But isn't that what I'm doing?" He furrowed his brow at her.

"She doesn't know that." Juli turned around to him fully now, and leaned against a counter in the room. "At least not yet."

"I see."

* * *

"So what are you going to do, Jr.?" MOMO asked, her arms full of her belongings as she crossed the room to drop them in a crate. She didn't have much, just a few articles of clothing, toiletries, some books Jr. had given her and several photographs she'd taken and drawings she made both at home and while on board the Elsa and the Durandal in the last year.

"Well, from the looks of it, I think we're going to try to look for this Lost Jerusalem." He said, crossing his arms. He was standing halfway between MOMO's bed and the crate laying on the floor. "It just makes the most sense, I think anyway." He watched as she pulled the pictures from the wall and piled them in her arms. She placed them on top of a stack of books, but he could tell it was a little too much for her to handle. "Let me help you with that!" He offered, but it was too late, the pile of photographs slid onto the floor in one swift movement.

"Oops!" MOMO exclaimed, setting the pile of books down into the crate. Jr. had kneeled down and picked up the mess. He handed them to her and she glanced down. On the top of a pile was a picture she'd taken of herself, her mother and Ziggy taken on Fifth Jerusalem. She was holding the camera herself and barely managed to fit everyone in the photo. It was silly but she liked it. Maybe she'd get someone to take another sometime soon. At that thought, her smile fell slightly. She realized that she had no idea where Ziggy was going to go.

"...So are you going to take Ziggy with you?" She asked. She knew he was technically being loaned to the Kukai Foundation.

"The old man?" Jr. laughed. "To be honest, I don't know. I just assumed he was going to stay with you, but… I guess if he wants to come along, I won't stop him."

"Yeah I guess so." MOMO placed the photos down into the crate. With that her packing was done. She looked around the women's quarters sadly, taking in the surroundings for the last time. "I'm… really going to miss you, Jr." MOMO said meekly.

"Hey." The URTV placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'm going to miss you too. But we still have some time left, so let's make the most of it, alright?"

MOMO wandered down the hallway toward the hangar. There was a party upstairs in the Elsa Bar. She'd spent the last hour there, but she knew something was missing. She'd excused herself, promising to return in a few minutes.

Her sensors confirmed her suspicions. He was down here in his maintanace chair, likely taking advantage of the peace and quiet. She'd not seen him in almost six hours. It had been shortly after they'd arrived on the Dammerung.

The young realian stood at the entrance to the room. He was sitting in his maintance bed and the lights were dimmed, casting heavy shadows on his features that were only highlighted by a light blue glow. She could tell on her sensors that he was most likely asleep, and she felt her heart sink. She stood at the threshold for a few moments before deciding to enter. She was determined to try to spend some time with him, even if he wasn't awake.

She remembered coming to visit him like this several times on the Elsa and the Durandal when she'd visit while living with her mother. She wouldn't do much, just sit beside him, sometimes read something on her connection gear. If he was awake they'd talk a little, never about much. For as long as she'd known him, he'd never been much of a talker. Though he always seemed willing to listen.

She sat down beside him on the floor and rested her head on the side of the machine. His human hand dangled above her. She felt exhausted, but his presence always seemed to calm her. Her eyelids were growing heavy and she felt herself drift off.

* * *

"MOMO." A deep familiar voice pulled her back into consciousness. She opened her eyes, remembering where she was. Her neck was aching, likely from the odd position she left herself in. "What are you doing down there?"

She groaned and looked up at him. He had an extremely faint look of amusement on his face. His eyebrow was slightly raised and he was frowning a little less than normal. She remembered the last time she'd seen him like this. She drew a picture of the two of them because she felt his small space on the Durandal could use a little sprucing up. She remembered the last time she visited, it was still hanging there. But it had likely become another part of Abel's Ark and was nothing more than particles floating through space at this point. Maybe she'd draw another one for him sometime.

"MOMO?" He pulled himself forward. "Is there something wrong?"

"No… No." She used the side of the chair to pull herself up and she stretched. "I'm fine. I just came down here to see how you were doing and I guess I fell asleep for a few minutes." She realized that there may not be a sometime, at least in the future. She wish she hadn't packed away her art supplies and taken them to the Dammerung. She didn't know if she'd have the chance to draw him another picture before they parted ways, that was, if that's what was going to happen. She didn't know.

"I… see." He could read the expression on her face as a look of sadness fell over her. "You can tell me if something is wrong."

"Ziggy." She spoke up, her hands tugged at the hem of her skirt, but she kept her head down. "I've been meanting to ask you since we arrived. Um.. what are you going to do now?"

He leaned back into the chair and stared straight forward, frowning pensively. "I don't… know."

"Mommy and I are staying behind on the Dammerung. Jr., Shion, Allen, Mary and Shelly and the Elsa crew are going to look for Lost Jerusalem." She looked up at him, and his line of vision met hers. "That leaves you." She took a step forward and placed a hand on the arm rest of his chair. "Jr. said you could come along if you wanted. But when I talked to Mommy she said wanted you to make the decision about where you wanted to go."

It was strange for him, being given the chance to make a decision about where he'd want to go. "I need some time to think about it." He said.

"A-alright." MOMO nodded. "I guess I'll see you later then." She turned around and returned toward the doorway, but she stopped in her tracks after crossing the distance halfway. She spun around to look at him. "Um… Everyone is up at the Elsa bar. We're having a little party tonight. I'd really love it if you could join us. If you want to, that is."

"Alright. I'll come along." He nodded, pushing himself up out of the seat. "I've gotten sufficient maintenance for the time being."

She clapped her hands together. "Oh! I'm so glad! It's not the same without you, you know!"

He nodded and joined her, walking behind her as she returned upstairs. Once the elevator doors opened, the sound of heavy music and voices could be heard. The smell of curry filled the air from hours before. Ziggy paused and gripped MOMO's shoulder.

"I think… I'll have to speak with Jr." He said.

"...Oh." MOMO looked at him from over her shoulder. "O-okay." Her shoulders slumped and her voice fell.

As the two entered the room, everyone looked toward them. Jr. laughed. "So the old man finally decided to join us!"

"Actually, I wanted to speak with you about something." Ziggy nodded toward MOMO. "Could you give us a moment?"

"Sure…" MOMO looked up at him and nodded before leaving her two friends behind. She looked around the room, and everyone was engaged in conversation except for her mother. Juli was seated in a booth by herself sipping a cup of tea and gazing out the window which had a full view of the city. MOMO approached her and sat down on the opposite seat.

"There you are." Juli smiled. "I was beginning to think you'd gotten lost."

"I just went to see how Ziggy was doing." MOMO responded. "Actually, I wanted to find out what he wanted to do. But I think he's decided." She glanced over toward him. He and Jr. were engaged in conversation. His arms were at first crossed and then he dropped them to his side. The realian was trying to carefully pick apart his body language.

"And what is that?" Her mother asked.

"I think he's going to stay with Jr." MOMO told her, her voice had become meek.

"Do you really think that's true?" Juli's brow raised.

"Well… I've thought about it. Ziggy said he doesn't know a lot about programming and everything that would need to go into building a new network. He likes to be where he feels useful. If Jr. and the others encountered anything on the way to find Lost Jerusalem he might be feel like he's more of use to them than with us…" Jr. had gestured toward them and then the two looked in their direction. MOMO quickly looked away and focused her attention on her hands. "I don't want him to leave us, Mommy. I'll have to say goodbye to everyone I care about and… and… I don't know what I'll do if I have to say goodbye to Ziggy. He's the first friend I ever made and..."

Juli reached across the table and placed her hand on her daughter's cheek. "MOMO." She said. "No matter what he decides to do, you'll have me by your side."

"Mommy." MOMO feigned a smile and looked up at her, gripping the side of her hand. She sniffed, and blinked back the slightest hint of tears that were forming her her eyes.

"But if you ask me…" Juli said nodding across the room. "I don't think that's the discussion they're having."

"Really? Do you think so?" She wiped at her eyes.

"Call it a hunch, but I'm pretty sure of it." She smiled in the cyborg's direction, and she made eye contact with him for a brief second. She could see the slight change in his expression at that moment from across the room.

"So that's it then." Jr. crossed his arms and cocked his head to the side. "That's what you've decided."

"Yes." Ziggy nodded.

"I know you'd make the right decision after all." He laughed, and then he grew serious. "Hey old man, promise me something, will ya?"

"What's that?"

Jr's voice grew soft and his posture changed ever so slightly. "Take care of them for me, will you?"

"I promise." Ziggy nodded. "I'll take care of them for as long as I am able to. I don't know how long that will be, but I will do my best."

"I made a promise to Sakura, and… I feel bad that I can't keep it. But" He looked over toward MOMO, who quickly looked away noticing they'd just made eye contact. "I know with you, They'll both be in good hands. I'm happy she'll have someone like you to look out for her. She's really fond of you, you know?"

"Yes. I know…" He frowned and then looked toward MOMO. He could feel his heart sink as he read the saddened expression on her face. She was probably thinking he was talking to Jr. about going to Lost Jerusalem and leaving MOMO behind. He knew this would probably happen, and he wondered if the end result would really be worth it.

"I'm pretty sure by that look on her face, Doctor Mizrahi's pretty fond of you too." Jr. elbowed the cyborg in the ribs. The look on Ziggy's face said otherwise, but the URTV knew he'd hit a soft spot. He laughed then. "Lighten up will ya?"

"I'll try."

"You'd better." Jr cocked an eyebrow at him and then chuckled. "I'm gonna miss having you around old man, even if you were a pain in my ass."

"Likewise." He glanced over toward Juli then, and noticed she was looking at him. There was something about the way that she smiled at him that way that dug at something deep within that couldn't quite put his finger on. He felt strangely uneasy, perhaps even a bit uncomfortable or even vulnerable and those weren't things he liked to feel.

"I'll make sure Captian Matthews and Tony help you move it later, okay?"

"Thank you." He nodded, before glancing toward them again.

"Go on, go have a good time. If you're even capable of it that is." He pushed him in the direction of MOMO and Juli.

With a barely audible groan from under his breath, he made his way across the room to the booth where Juli and MOMO were seated. He stood there for a moment and looked down at the two. MOMO was looking up at him, and he could clearly see that her eyes had become misty and a little red.. His brow softened and he placed his hand on her shoulder, feeling gulity that he didn't just outright tell her from the start. "I've decided what I'm going to do."

MOMO bit her lip in expectation of the worst. She folded her hands in her lap and tightly wrung her skirt. She could feel her heart pounding with anxiety.

"What's that, Jan?" Juli smiled at him, almost knowingly as if they had discussed this very thing previously. Maybe MOMO sensed it, or maybe she didn't.

"I had just asked Jr if it would be alright if…" He paused briefly, feeling MOMO's shoulder tense up. "He could make arrangements to help move my maintance bed to the Dammerung."

It took a second for the words to sink in, and when they finally did, her eyes opened wide. "Ziggy!" MOMO exclaimed wrapping her arms around him. "I'm so happy you'll be staying with us!"

He kneeled and lightly returned the embrace. "I'd made up my mind back when we were on Michtam. I decided if we made it out of there alive, I'd want to stay with you and your mother if I was given the option to decide."

"Then why did you act like you didn't know what you wanted to do?" MOMO pulled away and frowned at him.

"Your mother told me to do it." He frowned at her. "I was only following her orders."

"Mommy!" MOMO pouted at her mother from across the table.

He couldn't deny that he found humor in this situation, even though the act of expressing it was too foreign to him. MOMO moved aside and gestured for him to join. He didn't hesitate and he took a seat beside her. Although he didn't say much for the rest of the evening, he did make sure to spend some time with the others. He knew it might be the last time he'd see them. He realized that night how close all of these people had become. He wasn't sure if he could admit it, but he knew he would miss them.


	3. Worth a Thousand Words

The Elsa was was gone. By now, it was probably entirely out of reach. He tried not to think much about it; It was just another thought that would occupy his racing mind. Yet, it was more of a welcomed thought than the ones that would seemingly bubble to the surface every now and then, especially as of late. Somehow he wondered if leaving with the others may have been the easier decision, yet he knew he couldn't live with it if he had. Here he was, left with a little girl who thought the world of him, her mother, and a very small dog that he was a little afraid of stepping on.

His maintenance bed was set up in a small room adjacent to the apartment they'd taken up residence in. The rooms here were small, and his needed equipment would take up too much precious space in their current living arrangements. That was not to mention the level of discomfort the thought of living with them in the same place brought him. He wanted to be close, but still keep them at an arm's length for the foreseeable future. It was safer that way.

He finished arranging the last piece of equipment, and returned to the bed's controls to make sure it was functioning properly. Everything seemed to be in working order, so he decided to sit down. He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. After a few moments of silence a knock at the door brought him back into reality. He knew it was MOMO.

"Come in." He called.

The door slid open and MOMO entered, holding her hands behind her back. She looked around the room. "So it looks like you've gotten everything set up."

"Yes."

"I'm a little sad that you're not able to stay with us.. I'm just glad you're not far away though." She still kept her hands behind her back. Although it was stance she usually took, she noticed he was looking at her curiously.

She was about to tell him that nothing was wrong, when her line of vision focused on one of the nearby walls. She let out an audible gasp when she recognized the familiar object hanging on the wall. "You still have it!"

"What?"

"The picture I drew for you!" She kept her left hand behind her back and pointed with her right hand.

"Oh, right." He glanced at the picture in question. "Of course."

"But the last time I saw it, it was on the Durandal and I didn't see it on the Elsa when you moved everything there. I thought you left it behind and it got destroyed when…" She didn't want to continue down that line of thought.

"There's a compartment in here for tools and other items. I hid it inside. I was worried the Professor might have done something to it if it were out in the open." He explained.

MOMO approached him smiling. "I'm so happy you kept it!" She giggled then and brought her left hand from behind her back. In it was another picture, and she handed it to him. 'I made another for you because I thought you'd like to decorate your walls a little bit… but I guess you can hang it up with the other one then!"

He took the picture. It was a drawing of everyone, Shion, Allen, KOS-MOS, Jin, Jr., Gaignun, chaos, Captian Matthews, Tony, Hammer, Canaan, and lastly herself, Juli and him. MOMO being a realian, could digitally recall how everyone looked and she had excellent hand and eye coordination. Yet she lacked the certain skill an experienced artist would have. The drawing lacked emotion in and of itself, yet he could easily read the emotional sentiment behind it. "You must have spent a lot of time on this, thank you."

"I'm glad you like it!"

He stood up and attached the picture to the wall next to the other one and stood back to look at it. Ziggy realized that two years ago, he would have never thought he'd have objects and things like drawings that held sentimental value around, much less having friends or a renewed purpose to continue on. It wasn't much, but it was a start. MOMO stepped close to him and his left arm fell on her shoulder.

It was some time after midnight when he caught a familiar point on his sensors crossing the hallway. Looking at his internal clock, it was 1:23 AM. He'd left Juli and MOMO earlier that evening, about 19:00 hours because they would be meeting with Scientia the next morning to begin work on the new network. He knew the direction of the cafeteria was in the opposite direction she was heading, and there was no other reason for her to be awake and roaming at this time of night. Curious and a little worried, he got up from the bed and left the room, following in her direction.

She'd went outside of the building. There was a large balcony area which had two moving walkways and an escalator leading to the lower area opening up to the street. During the day, this area was typically bustling with shoppers, and businessmen and women headed to the various dining establishments in the area. However, this late at night, only a few shops were still open, namely those selling necessities. A few places had closed up shop. Those of which stocked primarily goods delivered through the UMN. Only the ones that still had the goods on hand remained open, and even then, it was uncertain how long that would be. It wouldn't be long before business would come to a standstill, perhaps even a few weeks.

He'd caught sight of her now, and she was crossing the walkway toward a line of benches that oversaw the balcony area. It was constructed to be a scenic look out point. There were lots of potted plants and dim lights in the area. The facades were made of glass, allowing anyone resting in this area to overlook the city streets below. She sat down on one of the benches and seemed to be looking down at her lap. Judging by her posture, Ziggy assumed that she just needed some time to think. He considered for a moment that he should probably leave her alone. Yet, the environmental controls inside the ship made for a dark atmosphere at this hour, and he didn't trust anyone. He wondered how long he could get away with standing behind one of the large potted trees that were lining the building. She must have read him on her sensors by now.

He was right. It was almost as if she was able to read his thoughts. She turned her body and head toward him, elbow over the edge of the bench. Resigned, he gave up his position and approached her.

"Ziggy!" MOMO exclaimed once he was within earshot. She stood up and then walked toward him, meeting him somewhere in the middle of their paths. "How long were you standing there?"

"Not long." He told her. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you. I was only concerned for your safety."

"No, it's okay." She dropped her hands to her sides. "I was hoping you and mommy were asleep, but I guess not."

"What are you doing out here at this time of night?" He frowned at her. "We have a lot to accomplish tomorrow, you should get some rest." He knew that stating the obvious wasn't going to help. There was a reason she was out here, and he was pretty sure he knew.

"I'm sorry…" MOMO bowed her head and then stepped away, heading back to the park bench. "I just have a lot on my mind and… I didn't want to keep Mommy up all night. I can function a little better without sleep. So I thought I'd come out here where I wouldn't disturb anyone."

"I understand." He watched as MOMO took a seat back on the bench. "I can leave you be, if you wish. But if you don't mind, I'd rather stay nearby in case there's any danger."

"No, that's okay." MOMO looked to him and smiled. "I could use a little company. I guess when you're feeling sad, it's not as bad as when you're alone." She looked at him and then scooted over, patting the seat of the bench where she had been previously.

Ziggy nodded and then sat down beside her. The bench shifted slightly with the added weight. "Is there anything you want to talk about?"

She was quiet for a few moments. As she sat there, she gripped the bullet which was still hanging around her wrist. When she finally spoke up, she didn't look at him. Instead, she looked straight forward, gazing out over the golden lights of cars moving along the streets. "Do you sometimes feel like there is so much on your mind, but you don't really know how to make sense of it?"

Ziggy nodded. He knew that feeling all too well. "Yes."

"How do you deal with it?" She looked at him then. "I'm feeling so many different things right now, I don't even know where to start."

The cyborg frowned. He knew that his own practices in this exercise had been completely fruitless over the last century. However, he could vaugely remember a time when he had people to rely on. "If my experience has taught me anything, it's pointless to try to hold it in or bury it inside your mind. Those thoughts will only continue to fester under the surface until they become all you know. I became the way I am now because I had no one I could turn to or rely on other than myself. The guilt and grief I felt after losing my wife and child ate away at me until I became nothing more than an empty shell."

"But you're not an empty shell anymore, Ziggy." MOMO looked toward him with a sad smile. It saddened her to hear him talk like this. However, at the same time, she knew that it was his way of trying to let go as well. "I can see how much you've changed since I've met you. I guess it's not much but… it's a start, right?"

"Yes." He nodded at her, and then turned his gaze toward the buildings ahead. "I suppose if something is bothering you, try to tackle each thought one at a time rather than all at once. It will give you a clearer objective."

MOMO giggled at him.

"What?" He looked back at her. "Did I say something funny?"

"No." She smiled and looked down at her hands folded in her lap. "But the way you put it is kinda funny, it's like you're planning a battle strategy."

"When you have thoughts like these, it is a battle." He frowned again and his voice grew quiet. "Every day requires a strategy to get through it, if you want to continue to live."

MOMO looked downward at her feet, frowning. She didn't like to hear him talk about things like that. Yet, she realized there was an underlying message he was getting at, and she perked up upon that realization. "So what's your current strategy?"

"I'm not sure. I suppose… I'm still trying to figure it out." His voice seemed a little distant.

"But that's not really like you. You don't go into anything unprepared. That's what you've always told me."

"That's true under normal circumstances. Except… I'm not really used to this." Ziggy looked over at her. "There are strategies you become accustomed to when dealing with specific assignments or opponents. Sometimes you encounter a situation where you need to watch and determine the best way to handle it. It's easier when you are given a clear objective. To be honest, there is no clear objective in this situation. I'm not on any specific assignment. I don't have a clear goal to reach. I'm here out of my own free will. I haven't figured out a strategy because I don't know how to be anything other than a machine."

The realian was quiet as she processed his words and then perked up as if an idea had struck her. "I have an idea. How about you just be Ziggy for now?"

"What do you mean?" He looked at her curiously.

"You probably don't realize it because you're so used to fighting and following orders… but there's more to you than that. I know it! I guess maybe you never had the chance to realize it. Or maybe you forgot it after everything that happened to you. But I think it's still there inside of you. You're much more than a machine. You're a good person, Ziggy and a really good friend. Just keep doing what you're doing, and I'm pretty sure you'll figure it out eventually."

"Ah. Thank you." He thought about it, and realized that although it wasn't clear, her advice seemed to be pretty sound. "You know, I believe I've made some sense of my thoughts from a few days?"

"Oh?" MOMO perked up.

"I suppose I'm feeling sad. Maybe a little guilty." He trailed off. "I never gave myself the opportunity to know Canaan very well. To me, he was just another person working with us. Had I known all a long that he was… Lactis, perhaps things would have been different." He looked away and closed his eyes. "I thought everyone from back then was gone. I watched too many people die, including my subordinates… all except two who were there with me until the end."

"You said you had _two_ subordinates, right?" MOMO patted his arm. "One was Lactis… er, Canaan. But who was the other one?"

He paused for a long time, and realized that he couldn't clearly remember her name. "I don't remember. She was a young woman, that's all I can remember. There's still much of my memory that is fragmented. It seems as if I need something to trigger those memories in order to remember them more clearly."

"Maybe after we meet with Scientia tomorrow, I can try to help you find out more. I'm sure Vector or maybe Scientia has the whole Federation database backed up. Maybe we can access it and find out what happened to her. If we can find a name or even a picture, it might help you."

The two sat together in silence for a few minutes, watching the cars zip by along the highways and sporadically turning onto the side streets directly below. Ziggy stood up. "I'll be right back." MOMO looked up at him a little surprised, and then watched as he approached one of the shopping kiosks that were still open. A moment later, he came back carrying a cup. He handed it to her and returned to his seat.

She took it and began scanning it with her sensors. Before she could process the contents of the cup, he spoke up. "It's hot cocoa. I… thought you might like something. It's pretty hot, so be careful."

"Thanks, Ziggy!" MOMO smiled and then sipped at it. He was right, it was hot. She placed it in her lap and let it warm her hands as she held it.

"So enough about me." He began. "What's bothering you?"

"A lot of things, I guess." MOMO gazed downward at her lap again, looking at the cup in her hands. "I'm really going to miss them, you know?" She looked up then, upwards as if she could see them through the massive windows above. They were days away by now, even travelling at light speed. "You, Jr., Shion… you were all the first friends I made outside the laboratory. Though, I don't know if I could consider the people I met there friends. So maybe all of you were my first friends. Now it feels like a part of me is gone. I know it probably sounds silly, right?"

"No, not at all." Ziggy shook his head. "It's a part of life. People come into your life and then they're gone. For awhile, you feel like your time with them will never end. But-"

"I lost so many of my sisters, so many people I knew on the Durandal, so many people were lost to the Gnosis. I lost my daddy even though I never really had the chance to know him… I'm going to lose you too one day, aren't I?"

Ziggy fell silent. He didn't know what to tell her, other than the undeniable truth that he was already on bought time as it was. He felt himself stiffen up.

MOMO rested her head on his arm. "I want time to stand still. I don't want to lose anyone else." She sighed then, and sipped at her drink. It had cooled down very slightly, but was at a tolerable temperature by now. "I guess it's silly to hope for something like that."

"MOMO." Ziggy spoke up, finally. "To be truthful, I don't know how long I have left. There could very well have many years ahead of me, or it could be only months. I don't know. I do know, however that I will make sure the time we have left together is meaningful."

"Thank you." She closed her eyes and smiled. He shifted a little under her weight and she felt his arm come around her shoulder. She leaned herself into him a little further. "I'm worried about the new network too. It's going to take a long time, and there's so many people who are going to be disconnected from everyone else for a long time. I'm really scared about what the world is going to be like in the future. I want to make it a good one. But… I don't know if I'm capable."

"Maybe not alone." Ziggy told her. "But you have a lot of support."

The two sat together in silence for a few minutes, and MOMO finished her cocoa. She set the empty cup beside her and yawned. "I'm pretty tired now."

Ziggy was quiet for a little too long. Suddenly, something unusual happened in a split moment. He resisted the urge to continue to the silence and he commented quietly. "That's an unusual name."

MOMO, caught off guard, looked up at him. "What's an unusual name?"

"N-Nothing."

"Oh." MOMO's voice dropped at that. "Thank you Ziggy for listening to me."

"No, thank you." He began. "I've become used to sweeping my thoughts under the rug and ignoring them. It feels good in a way, to talk about them to someone." He stood up and turned toward her, offering his hand. "We should be getting back, it's very late."

"Right." MOMO smiled and grabbed his hand, hopping to her feet. She walked along with him and returned to the Vector apartment building. As they turned the corner nearing the hallway where they had taken up residence, her eyes widened with realization of what he had said earlier. "Oh! I get it now!"

"What?" Ziggy asked.

"Earlier, I said I was pretty tired and you said that was an unusual name." She laughed. "I wouldn't have thought you were joking because you sounded so serious. So I didn't understand." She stopped in front of her door and turned toward him. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow morning!"

"Sleep well."

"Goodnight!" MOMO stepped over toward him and pulled him into a small hug before letting go and unlocking the door. She waved as she entered and the door closed behind her.

He was suddenly left alone to his thoughts again. This time, however, they were a little less troubling. As he was about to turn to his tiny room, he turned his head realizing someone else was there.

"Don't mind me." It was the silver-haired andriod he had met earlier with Shion and the others. "I'm just passing by."

"You were watching me." Ziggy narrowed his eyes at her. "Why?"

"Oh no reason, really." She strolled beyond him and further down the hallway. "I just wanted to be sure of something." Before the cyborg had an opportunity to speak up, she was gone, out of earshot and down the hallway.

Frowning, and not entirely sure of her words, he entered the key code to get into his so-called room. He sat back in his chair and closed his eyes. At that moment, the corners of his tightened upwards ever so slightly.

_"__I'm pretty tired."_ He thought to himself. _"That's an unusual name."_


End file.

Xenosaga, Family, Friendship