Bleach 1. Silver and Gold

**Red Vessel**

**By Spunky0ne**

**(For my wonderful, artistic friend, Walkure. Thanks for all of the inspiration.)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 1: Silver and Gold**

Renji Abarai knew it was a bad thing to _start_ his day already having a hellacious headache…especially when that day was to start with an early meeting with his captain and end at Urahara's shop, being called a moocher and abused by a little snot-nosed brat. He lay in his bed, sorry for the extra drinks he had downed the night before, but glad that drunkenness had kept him from thinking ahead to the unpleasantness he was about to face. He climbed out of bed and shivered as cold air struck his bare body. He stepped carefully across the messy floor, but still managed to trip over something, caught himself and loosed several groggy obscenities before continuing on to the shower to clean up.

He grabbed his toothbrush as he stepped in beneath the spray of water, then swore again as the chilly water sent more shivers through him. It was suddenly not so bad to think of staying at Urahara's place. Although he had to work for it, the food was exceptionally better than the takeout he lived on and the shower was always blazing hot. He sighed and scrubbed his teeth, then reached out and deposited the brush in a cup on the sink before quickly washing body and hair, then stepping out again.

"Freezing apartment…cold water…" he muttered, "How in the hell do they get away with this? That's what I wanna know!"

He dried himself off with hands that shook with cold, then dropped the towel on the bathroom floor and walked out to the closet, where he found a clean shihakushou and hastily dressed. He glanced at the time.

"Damn!"

He tied his hair into a high ponytail and ran out the door, flash stepping to the bottom of the stairs and out onto the street. He barely made it to the corner as his captain appeared, walking towards the division office with slow, measured steps and calm, unruffled reiatsu.

"Morning Captain," he said, falling into step at Byakuya's side.

"Renji," the noble said in greeting.

They said little more during the rest of the walk to the office and separated once they entered the sixth division, Byakuya to drop into his chair and begin his work and Renji to make tea for the two of them and then to run early morning training in the training grounds. He returned after the training session to find his captain gone to a captain's meeting and to address the stack of papers on his desk, then worked steadily until around lunchtime, when Byakuya was expected back. He usually tried to slip away before Byakuya returned, knowing that once the captain returned from his meeting, the work would pile up and he usually wouldn't have time to eat lunch…and as he tended to not have time for breakfast in the mornings, lunch was pretty important, if he didn't want to faint from hunger before Byakuya excused him, well after any sane person would have settled down to dinner.

But today he was lucky. Not only did Byakuya not return from the captain's meeting, Renji had to leave for Karakura Town as soon as his reports were filed, so he ate on the way and only received word that Byakuya had gone home sick, once he had already arrived in Karakura Town.

"Sick?" he mused, "Captain Kuchiki? Does not compute…"

"What was that about?" Kisuke asked, setting a bowl of rice on the table, "Trouble at home?"

"Ah, not really…just Captain Kuchiki went home sick today."

"Byakuya sick? That is odd," mused Kisuke, "He doesn't get sick…and if he is, he never admits it…very odd, if you ask me."

"Yeah, well, maybe something's going around. I have a pretty nasty headache myself."

"Yeah, but that's because you drink too much!" Jinta said saucily.

"Aw, shut up, twerp…" Renji muttered.

He turned his attention to eating, but found it hard to enjoy the food as his headache increased. And by the time he was ready to go to sleep, he was miserable.

"Renji," said Kisuke, "sit down a sec and let me have a look at you. You look really pale.

"Oh…I'll be…fine," Renji said, trying not to sound pathetic and failing, "Ugh…just need sleep."

"Well, you aren't going to sleep if you're that miserable," said the shopkeeper, "so sit down."

Groaning again, Renji dropped onto the floor and sat, trying to stay quiet as Kisuke studied his reiatsu and touched his head in several places. As he touched the redhead's forehead, Renji yelped and jumped a foot into the air.

"Ow! Shit! What? What was that about?" he yelled, clapping a hand to his forehead.

Kisuke sat back, an odd, mystified look on his face.

"Huh…sorry Renji," he said, staring, "That was…unexpected."

"What?" the redhead said, still rubbing his forehead.

"Well…I read an odd reiatsu there, where the pain is…but it isn't like any I've ever seen. Renji…I think we should get you back to the Seireitei. Captain Unohana should have a look at you too."

"Naw, really it isn't that bad…and I have an assignment," Renji said, trying not to show how much it hurt.

"Suit yourself," said Kisuke, sounding unconvinced, "but when you collapse, we're just going to have to get help from them anyway."

He sighed.

"At least let me get a sample and put it through my analyzer…"

"Fine," said Renji, unhappily, "Whatever, just hurry. I wanna get some sleep…"

Kisuke placed his hands on Renji's forehead and focused, drawing out a reiatsu sample.

"All right, I should have some kind of…"

He paused, staring as Renji winced sharply and moaned in pain.

"Well, that's not good…" he muttered.

The next thing he knew, the redhead gave a howl of pain and fell onto the floor on his back. He put a hand to his forehead and light flared underneath it.

"Oh kami!" he cried, "Kisuke!"

The stunned shopkeeper, dropped to his knees next to the redhead, trying desperately to offer him some form of relief. Renji groaned, shivered and fell still, his hand dropping away from his forehead. Kisuke stared in surprise. In the center of his forehead, a golden marking in a diamond shape had appeared. As Kisuke looked on in disbelief, Renji's body began to glow brightly with white light and slowly faded and disappeared.

"Shit…" breathed Kisuke, "Never saw _that_ happen before!"

He called for Tessai and summoned a hell butterfly. He spoke a hasty message to the butterfly and sent it fluttering away.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Lord Kuchiki," said the clan healer, "Torio said that you weren't feeling well. Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I thought it was nothing at first," Byakuya said, lying back against his pillows and holding a cool cloth to his forehead, "but we got to the end of the captain's meeting and it became unmanageable."

"How would you describe the pain, sir?" the healer asked.

"It seems to pulse and throb…and the skin in the area burns. I did not notice any change in the color of the skin."

"Hmmm…" said the healer, leaning forward, "Let me have a look."

He lifted the cloth and studied the area the noble pointed out visually, then by exploring with his fingers, then his reiatsu. He frowned and leaned forward, probing again with his reiatsu.

"There is an oddity in the reiatsu in the area. Have you been on any missions outside the Seireitei or been faced with anything alien to this area…an odd hollow…anything?"

"No…no…nothing at all. Our squad has been assigned to home territory and special events for over a month…and there haven't been any special events…no invasions or even attacks in our territory."

"Have any other squad members shown any similar symptoms?"

Byakuya frowned thoughtfully, then winced and groaned softly.

"Well…Abarai did complain of a headache yesterday. I allowed him to leave early because of it…but he did not say any more about it this morning. Then again, I was not in the office much at all today. I was in a captain's meeting. And Abarai was assigned to go to Karakura Town on assignment."

"He's in Karakura Town?" the healer asked.

"Hai, he left for Karakura Town around midday."

Byakuya winced and inhaled sharply. The healer frowned and bit his lip, thinking. He looked closely at the clan leader's forehead again. His eyes widened.

"What is it?" Byakuya asked, reaching up to touch the area.

"Something is…appearing…"

"What?" Byakuya said, his voice tense.

The healer looked closer and blanched.

"What is it?" Byakuya asked again.

"Sir…I don't believe it! I…I've never seen this, but…it has to be!"

"Has to be? What the devil are you talking about?"

"Sir…it's the mark of the King's Guardian! I know it! All of the clan healers learn about it, because the King's Guardian can show up at any time!"

"The mark of the King's Guardian, you say?" Byakuya repeated, trying to remember exactly what the story he had read in the Kuchiki family histories said, "Then…the king is about to undergo rebirth?"

"Hai, sir. So…as the marking rises on your forehead, you will be taken into the spirit dimension. There, you will meet with the King's Vessel."

The healer caught his breath sharply.

"We must send word to the head captain, so he can inform the captains…"

"Go," Byakuya said, "There is no point in tending to me. I will simply disappear when the time comes."

The clan healer nodded and ran out of the bedroom. Byakuya's personal attendant knelt beside the noble, running a cool cloth over his face.

"Do not worry, Torio," Byakuya assured the boy, "Everything will be fine. This process is not dangerous. It is simply a duty of the clans to assist the king in his rebirth."

"I just don't like that you are in pain, sir."

"It is manageable, Torio. Now, remain calm. Soon now, I will be called to the spirit dimension. Do not be alarmed as it is supposed to happen."

The youth nodded, but his eyes told Byakuya that he was still nervous. Byakuya, himself, was experiencing a healthy measure of doubt.

_The process is not dangerous…and I will be able to return when my obligation is completed…but…I can't imagine. Who will the King's Vessel be? Which shinigami will be chosen to…_

He winced and groaned uncomfortably as the pain flared more sharply. He tried to breathe slowly, but this time the pain remained constant. He felt Torio move closer and the youth's hand slipped into his.

_This is a great honor and an important service that we nobles do for our king. But as much as I know this…there is a price…Oh kami…I nearly forgot. It will change everything…_

"Sir!" Torio gasped breathlessly, staring at Byakuya's forehead.

A bright silver marking in the shape of a diamond emerged and flared. Byakuya's body lit with white light. The light flashed brightly and sent Torio backing towards the door. Byakuya held his breath and closed his eyes as he felt himself being lifted and carried away. Slowly, his body faded and disappeared.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji opened his eyes and found himself in a place he had never been before. He lifted himself slowly, reaching up to rub the gold marking on his forehead.

"What the fuck?" he gasped, looking around.

The place he found himself in reminded him of the garden at Kuchiki Manor, but on a whole different level. Renji had never seen so many different kinds of trees, flowers, plants, and animals…ever…anywhere. The sky overhead was deep blue and dotted with puffy clouds.

"I'll be damned…" he muttered, climbing to his feet.

He heard an odd, thump and turned to see that a second person had appeared near where he had found himself. He stared for a moment, before he realized the person he was looking at was Byakuya. It was Byakuya without his kenseiken, shihakushou, ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu or anything else familiar. He was just dressed in a light sleeping yukata.

He noticed the silver marking on the noble's forehead and moved closer. He leaned over Byakuya and touched it with a fingertip. The noble's eyes opened and met his sleepily. He blinked several times, then frowned and sat up.

"Are you okay, Captain?" Renji asked, helping him sit up.

"I am fine, Abarai," he said, shaking his head slightly and touching the silver marking on his forehead.

Byakuya looked more closely at Renji's marking, his eyes widening in realization.

_This can't be…I can't…but it is required. Whoever wears the gold marking is the King's Vessel. We don't get to choose each other…_

"Captain," Renji groaned in a pained voice, "Do you have any idea where the fuck we are…or…or what's going on with these markings?"

Byakuya thought it better to allow Renji to learn as he went. There would be no use in making things worse by springing things on him all at once. Better, he thought to take it one moment at a time. There were going to be some unpleasant things to deal with.

_Oh…I can't think about this…I have to just take it one moment at a time, also…or I may just lose my mind…_

"Captain?" Renji said questioningly.

"Be quiet, Renji," he said firmly, "Obviously, something rather extreme is happening."

"Well…do you at least know where we are?" he asked, still rubbing his forehead.

Byakuya nodded.

"We are in the spirit dimension."

Renji's eyes widened.

"The spirit dimension? You're kidding, right?"

Byakuya frowned more deeply.

"Why would I joke about that?" he asked.

"Ah…I don't know…sorry, stupid question…"

Renji looked around.

"So, uh, Captain…what do we do? I mean…if we're in the spirit dimension…is this the King's Garden? Aren't we, like, trespassing here or something?"

Byakuya sighed impatiently.

"I said shut up, Abarai," he repeated, sensing strong reiatsu closing in on them, "Stand up."

"What?"

"You heard me," the noble said, climbing to his feet and pulling a sputtering Renji up with him.

"Stand still and do not move…and do not speak unless you are spoken to…" he directed the redhead.

Renji started to reply, but fell silent and paled visibly as flash steps sounded all around them. Tall men dressed in the bright white livery of the Royal Guard appeared all around them. After that, the head captain appeared, followed by the Kuchiki Council of Elders and all of the remaining captains.

"Holy shit…" whispered Renji, "Captain…"

Byakuya didn't answer. He stood next to Renji, staring at the sea of faces and feeling a bolt of terror race through him. He held perfectly still and waited as he knew he must, but he was sure something _had_ to have gone wrong. This simply couldn't be. He couldn't be standing where he was…in this situation with…_Renji_…

His mind refused to accept it…

But he knew that accept it or not, there was nothing he could do…


	2. Handfasted and Bound

**Chapter 2: Handfasted and Bound**

Renji knew better than to piss Byakuya off or to rile the other powerful beings around him by asking any more stupid questions. He stood quietly at his captain's side, trying to suppress a shiver as he wondered about what was going to happen to them. Although the Royal Guard had appeared and formed a large ring around them, they now appeared to be standing sentry as Byakuya and Renji were met with the rest of the group that had approached them. A man taller than Renji, dressed like the Royal Guardsmen, but with flashes of blue and gold on his uniform stepped forward. Renji held his breath and listened carefully.

"Welcome to the King's Garden," he said, bowing, "Byakuya Kuchiki…King's Guardian and Renji Abarai…King's Vessel, I know you have many questions. His majesty has appointed me, Yemon Arai, to guide you through the process of his rebirth, explaining each step as we undertake it. I will first explain in general what you may expect, then will answer your questions as we complete each step."

He turned to the others gathered and introduced himself again, then turned back to Byakuya and Renji.

"Our king is an immortal being, though the worlds he oversees and all within them are more transient. To be an immortal creature in a place of mortality requires that he also submit to the rebirth process…but being our supreme being and monarch, while obeying the physical laws that carry us through our cycles of life and death, this spiritual being, though yielding his body in long cycles, is protected from ever dying by this ancient rebirthing process. Through it, the king's power and his memories are always protected and fed into his new form."

He paused and studied the two men who stood waiting before him before continuing.

"The rebirthing takes place at random times, for reasons which we are not meant to understand. The requirements are thus…that from among the full shinigami population a King's Vessel shall emerge. This one shall be marked with a golden sigil and brought to the spirit dimension at the time of the rebirth. The Vessel is committed to the process by the right of the king to choose his vessel and will be released to resume his or her shinigami life upon completion of the task."

He turned to Renji and touched the marking on his forehead. Renji swallowed hard and stared, still knowing better than to say anything, no matter how sick the whole situation was making him feel. He _especially_ felt creeped out at being referred to as a 'vessel.' That, in and of itself had all kinds of eerie connotations. But he was somewhat buoyed by Byakuya being called King's Guardian. Byakuya was powerful…and Renji, though sometimes fearing that power, trusted Byakuya to protect him.

"The King's Guardian shall appear among the ranks of the king's noble families, being marked with a silver sigil, and shall be brought to the spirit dimension, to purify and render his power, and to transfer it to the King's Vessel for containment and protection as it calms and forms itself, then emerges as the king's spiritual form. This noble shall then be released to resume his or her life as well."

Yemon turned to Byakuya and touched the sigil on his forehead.

"The first step in the rebirthing process is to purify the shinigamis chosen for the task. You will remove your clothing and bathe in the King's Font. This will remove all impurities, all imperfections and all markings but the sigils. It will remove your shinigami powers and abilities for the duration of the ritual."

Yemon turned them and the circle opened to reveal a huge, white fountain.

"So…we have to get naked and take a bath together…in front of all these people?" Renji asked, earning a seething glare from his captain.

He caught his breath and winced at the flare of Byakuya's reiatsu.

"_Shut up, now…_" the noble hissed beneath his breath.

He nudged the reluctant redhead towards the fountain as the others watched in perfect silence. Renji stifled the urge to say anymore, but quailed inwardly at the thought of being naked and that close to his dangerously riled captain. He knew if he spoke out of turn again, Byakuya was likely to inflict pain, so he kept his mouth shut, fought down his embarrassment and slipped out of his clothes, then waited as Byakuya did the same.

_All right…how in the hell does he stay so calm about this? They said this would remove our powers…it's enough to make me shake all over, but his expression hasn't even changed._

His cheeks burning, he tried to ignore the flush that was making the paler parts of his skin turn red and accepted Yemon's hand to help him over the edge and into the King's Font. He completely avoided looking directly at Byakuya, but was amazed, looking out of corner of an eye that the noble looked unruffled and as pale-white as ever.

_Does anything ever scare that guy?_

Renji shook his head and stepped toward where the water rained down, thankful that the water seemed to be comfortably warm. He caught his breath in surprise as Byakuya's hand caught hold of his and the two stepped under the water together. Renji wasn't sure what was meant by 'bathing' so he waited to see what Byakuya would do. The noble stood quietly, not moving a muscle and letting the water run down his body. And as it did, Renji took a step back and stared. Before his eyes, the noble's thick, black hair slowly brightened and turned the same silver color as the sigil on his forehead. His eyes too, lightened and turned that same silver color. The water coated his already pale skin and turned it a glowing white. In the end, though the shape was right, the creature standing in front of him looked like something out of a myth…something unreal. He got the sudden urge to know how he was being affected and looked down at his own body. Immediately, he recoiled, realizing that his hair and eyes had turned golden and his own skin had gone perfectly white like Byakuya's, the black markings disappearing entirely.

"Oh my kami!" he gasped, pitching forward, slightly.

Byakuya caught him by the arm to steady him, but the odd, silver eyes only worsened the feeling of sickness that was taking over. The feeling worsened even more as the water sank beneath his skin, invading everything and burning away his spirit centers. And although he had promised himself not to make a fuss, he couldn't force down a scream of pain as his connection to Zabimaru disappeared. He dropped to his knees and was suddenly aware that although Byakuya had not made a sound, he had likewise fallen and his eyes looked tormented.

A hand touched Renji's arm, distracting him from looking at Byakuya and he was helped out of the fountain and back onto dry land. He breathed slowly and tried to force his frightened mind into calm as someone carefully dried his body. He was aware that Byakuya was being likewise assisted somewhere in front of him, but caught up in the shock of what was happening, Renji felt himself reeling. He did his best to remain standing, but at some point, he dropped to his knees and couldn't stop the shaking. Although he had been told everything would go back to normal, it was hard to look at himself, changed beyond all recognition, separated from everything familiar and forced into this odd, unexpected ritual. He felt Byakuya glaring at him again, but couldn't make his body obey the unspoken directive. Nobody had asked to use his body this way, to strip it down and steal away its power, to leave him cold and empty like this. He had had no warning at all. One moment he had been calmly living his life, doing his work…and then he was torn away and brought here…and subjected to…this…

Hands touched him and lowered him onto his back and the placid, lovely face of the King's Healer appeared over him. The young man smiled bracingly at Renji and placed his hands on his ghostly white body. Immediately, the healer's touch warmed him, sent calm flowing back into him, and reassured him that no one had intended to hurt him.

"Rest easy, Renji Abarai," the healer said comfortingly, "your body was given a severe jolt and needed some relief. You should feel better quickly."

Renji nodded, and within a few minutes, managed to sit up again. He saw Byakuya watching in the distance, his expression no longer angry, but his emotions unreadable. Finally, Renji climbed to his feet, knowing that if his body hadn't been drained of all color, he would be blushing furiously from embarrassment at fainting like a girl. He tightened his lips and resolved to get through the rest of the damned ritual without embarrassing himself or pissing off Byakuya again. He stood quietly as the healer checked him over a final time, then nodded at Yemon to continue the ritual.

Attendants appeared and were let into the circle. They approached the two chosen and set about dressing them. Renji felt better knowing that he was going to be dressed again, and the kimono he was dressed in, though a very traditional and ceremonial type was surprisingly more comfortable than he would have expected it would be. He gave a little sigh, relaxing as he was dressed and watching Byakuya being dressed, noticing how beautiful Byakuya looked…still cold and distant in demeanor…but physically attractive. Then he wondered just where the hell the thought had come from. He had never thought of Byakuya in that way before. While cognizant of his attractiveness as a male, he had never felt even a hint of attraction…just mostly respect…and often fear. He pushed the rogue thought away and tried to clear his mind, calmer now that things seemed less threatening…calmer now and ready to get this over with so he could go home and let everything go back to normal.

Once they were dressed, the attendants were let out of the circle and a different part of the circle was opened to reveal a large, vine covered gazebo. Yemon turned toward it and Renji fell in beside Byakuya, walking calmly and more confidently now. While the removal of his powers had been a shock, he was adjusting to the situation and his mind was coping better with the strangeness. It was all happening more like a dream around him than something he was part of. That distancing gave him what he needed to move forward and handle things as they happened.

They reached the gazebo and Yemon turned them toward each other, taking their hands and binding them together with a length of white silk. Renji stared down at their joined hands, cognizant that something had changed about Byakuya. His face still wore a mask of calm, but the hands bound to his were shaking softly and sweating beneath the light fabric that bound them. Renji looked up at him questioningly, but knew better than to say anything. Byakuya avoided his eyes.

"Byakuya and Renji," Yemon said, placing his hand over theirs, "We are now ready to proceed. As the process of the rebirthing requires a permanent binding of souls, all commitments to any others, living or deceased are hereby relinquished and the two of you will be first handfasted, then soul bound."

Renji's jaw dropped in surprise.

"What?" he managed to gasp as Byakuya's hands tightened warningly beneath the binding, "What the fuck? I have to…you're saying I have to…?"

"I am saying," Yemon told him calmly, "that because of the demands of the ritual, you and Byakuya will now be married and your souls bound together. The rebirthing demands a pair of bound souls…and our laws demand that all bound souls be handfasted."

"Hey…no one said anything about MARRIAGE! No one fucking asked me if this was okay! Do we…can we be unbound at the end? I mean, you did say we would go back to normal after…"

Yemon met his eyes apologetically.

"I am sorry, Renji Abarai, but this is not something that will be undone…ever. Souls bound for this ritual remain bound for the rest of their lives. There is no unbinding. They cannot be unbound."

"You…you're crazy!" Renji gasped, trying to tear his hands away from Byakuya's.

The noble held his hands tightly in place and glared at him, but Renji was beyond being afraid anymore. He threw his body into Byakuya's, forcing the stunned noble to the ground, then tore his hand free, rending the silk that had bound him. He placed his hands on either side of the stunned noble's body and screamed in his face.

"There is NO WAY! I am NOT doing this! I am not spending the rest of my life with some fucking, stuck up noble, who has a stick jammed so far up his ass he can't look down at where the rest of us exist! You can't want this, Captain…TELL THEM! Tell these fucking idiots how crazy they are to even THINK we'll do this! Tell them!"

Renji didn't know exactly what he expected in response, but he was taken by surprise as the body he held down surged upward, white hands gripped his kimono tightly and an enraged white face with flashing silver eyes moved to within inches of his. His hands fell uselessly to his sides as the noble held him tightly and shook him as he spoke.

"Abarai…I told you to be silent and to do as you are told," Byakuya began.

"You can't make me do this!" Renji fired back.

"You idiot!" snapped the noble, shaking him, "Do I LOOK like I want this any more than you do? What makes you think for a minute that any of this is my doing? I came to be here just as you did. I did not choose this."

"Then tell them! Tell them we won't do it, Captain! Tell them…"

"I think you've told them loudly enough. Everyone here is aware of your reluctance. But understand, this is a duty we cannot escape, however we might feel about it."

"Duty?" Renji seethed, "You call being forced to marry a noble…a guy…my captain…duty?"

"Renji, many nobles enter arranged marriages…and are bound together unwillingly. It is the way of things."

"The way of things for nobles, maybe," Renji agreed, "but not for me! Why would anyone require a Rukon kid like me to be bound to…to someone like you? This is crazy…insane…you can't…make me do this. The very idea makes me want to throw up!"

Byakuya's hands tightened painfully on his kimono and his face moved closer so that their noses were almost touching. Even without his reiatsu, Byakuya was a frighteningly powerful man…

"And how will you feel," Byakuya asked icily, "if this ritual is not completed? Do you have any concept of what that would mean?"

He shoved Renji away violently, rose and stood over him, glowering down at him.

"If the ritual is not completed, then our immortal king will lose his immortality. He will die, Renji. And when he does, what do you think will happen to our worlds?"

Byakuya turned away, but Renji felt his emotion just as keenly.

"Our worlds would erupt into chaos…and would be torn apart…would collapse…and if that were to happen, I think any sane person would offer himself or herself into something like this to undo it. But by then, it would be too late. All that we know would be lost. What freedom would any of us have then? Considering that…I am willing to bind myself to you…to marry you and offer you what contentment I can. Do you think you can stop feeling sorry for yourself and do the same?"

He didn't wait for an answer, but returned to the gazebo and stood silently, his eyes downcast…waiting. Renji closed his eyes in defeat, loosing a quivering sigh and trying to ignore the throng of staring eyes all around him. He pushed himself to his feet and on leaden legs returned to the gazebo and stood, looking down at his hands as they were bound again to Byakuya's and the ceremony began. He barely heard the words and only responded with the words as he was prompted. He didn't look up at Byakuya again. He didn't dare.

When it was over, he let himself be led into the center of the circle again and he and Byakuya were turned to face each other. The Kuchiki elders stepped in around them, each extending a hand and half laying their hands on Byakuya and half laying their hands on Renji. They stood shoulder to shoulder, facing in and raised their power, making the ground around them quake. They held the power steady, then slowly, they focused it and sent it into the two men, where it sank down, took root and began to pulsate. Blinding light erupted around them, and Renji caught a glimpse of Byakuya's eyes. He shivered at the sudden look of terror, at the momentary loss of control as the power of the elders gripped the two of them tightly and began to seal their souls to one another. Blinding pain ripped through him, tearing an incoherent scream from his throat and somehow, his fevered mind registered Byakuya's strangled cry. His mind was forced open and forced together with another. He gasped in agony at the harshness and suddenness of the joining. He could feel Byakuya's mind recoiling at the contact as well…and was stricken with the presence of heady, strong emotion in that mind that rivaled his. He quickly became aware then that Byakuya had told him the truth. He didn't want this any more than Renji did…and even though he had done it out of duty, he was terrified of what was happening. He was given that insight, then their natural emotional shielding was allowed to snap back into place. He was left with a connection to Byakuya's mind, an ability to read him emotionally, but thankfully, each was shielded from the full mental force of the other.

Renji realized suddenly that he had fallen onto hands and knees…and that Byakuya had as well. The elders had released them and returned to the circle around them. Yemon stepped forward as they pushed themselves wearily to their feet.

"That is all for this day. Attendants will take you to your room, now and you will be allowed to rest. It is only required that while you are together that you do not yet consummate your marriage. We will see to that portion of your binding later in the rebirth ritual."

The words made Renji cringe inwardly, but he was too damned tired to react very strongly. Instead he fell in beside Byakuya and allowed himself to be led into a large bedroom that, thankfully, held two beds. So it seemed that there was more to their binding before sex came into the picture. It wouldn't be long before it was an issue, but thinking back to Byakuya's words, he realized that there wasn't any choice and forced himself to push away the thought. He held still as he was undressed and dressed again in a comfortable yukata. He fell onto his bed and closed his eyes. He was a little surprised when they were left alone that Byakuya didn't say anything at all to him.

Renji cracked an eye open and caught his breath at the sight of his captain, kneeling on his bed, leaned against the wall, looking out at the full moon with a tired, lost expression. As sleep began to overtake him, the image of Byakuya that way shimmered and began to disappear…but some part of him was soundly shaken as it registered a single tear running down the noble's glowing white cheek.

It spun in his exhausted mind as he drifted off, but then gradually faded from his awareness and was forgotten by morning…


	3. Breathless Beauty

**Chapter 3: Breathless Beauty**

Byakuya was already awake and gone when Renji was roused by an attendant the next morning. He was buoyed somewhat by a seeming return to something resembling normality as he was led to a lovely bathing room and undressed for his bath. Byakuya stood facing a window on the other side of the pool and looking out over the gardens, saying nothing to anyone and standing perfectly still as his attendant bathed him. He finished just as Renji was beginning and walked by his vice captain as though not seeing him. He wondered why Byakuya would just ignore him that way, but a moment later, he felt the brush of the noble's mind against his and remembered their soul bonding. He focused on their connection, but all he could sense in the guarded noble was a fleeting shiver of fear.

_I was wondering yesterday if Byakuya ever felt fear…and now I feel that he is afraid of something, but what? What are they going to do to us that he would fear? Or is it a fear of the unknown?_

He continued to wonder as he watched out of the corner of an eye as Byakuya's attendant dressed him in a simple white yukata and led him away. Renji turned toward the window and let his eyes focus on the blue sky and puffy clouds as his body was cleansed, then he was led to the edge of the pool, dried and dressed in a white yukata as well. His attendant led him back to the King's Garden, where a small table had been prepared in the gazebo where they had been wed the day before and Byakuya sat with a meal set before him that he seemed not to notice. Renji sat down opposite him and noticed again how distant and unfocused he seemed, not at all himself as he picked absently at his food and didn't even look up at Renji. Sensing that his spouse was feeling overwrought, he employed a bit of levity to try to lighten the noble's mood…or at least to gain his attention.

"Hey," he said softly, "I knew married people often complain they never talk, but this is ridiculous. Do you even know I'm alive?"

"I am aware of your presence," Byakuya said quietly, "I had thought you were angry over our forced marriage and did not wish to interact with me except as necessary."

"Ah…" Renji muttered, flushing slightly as he remembered the unpleasantness before, "Well…like you said, it's not like you wanted this any more than I did, right? So…I guess I shouldn't take it out on you that we're stuck in this nightmare together."

Byakuya looked at him for a moment, then looked away again, saying nothing in response. Sighing in resignation, Renji ceased trying to get Byakuya to talk and ate voraciously. He hadn't realized just how hungry he was. He had no idea what they would be doing that day or how soon they would eat again. In addition, the food was delicious and despite Byakuya's reluctance to speak to him, the garden was a nice place to spend the morning. After finishing breakfast, he left Byakuya still sitting silently at the table and took a long walk with his attendant. All too soon, the attendant turned him back in the direction of the gazebo and the ritual continued.

Byakuya rose as Renji returned to the gazebo and Renji couldn't help but notice that, first, his captain had barely touched his food and secondly, Byakuya seemed completely closed down emotionally. His face, while not looking distressed, was anything but calm. Again, he had a sense of Byakuya being afraid of something, but had no idea what could be making him feel that way. He inadvertently brushed up against the noble as they were led to the palace, and felt a shock of repressed terror. He wanted badly to ask Byakuya what was going on, but there was no time as they were led back inside and into the throne room. The head captain and the other captains waited in the center of the room where an examination table had been placed. Renji was made to climb onto it and sit with Byakuya sitting in front of him with the noble's back rested on his chest and Byakuya's face close to his. Renji felt a bit odd at the positioning of their bodies and it registered that it looked as though he was meant to hold or restrain Byakuya through the next part of the ritual. Uncertainty crept into his heart again as he realized that although he managed to look serene and unruffled on the surface, Byakuya was trembling.

"Are you okay?" he whispered to his spouse as attendants moved forward and placed the noble's wrists and ankles in soft restraints.

Byakuya took a light breath and nodded briefly, the tremor in his body disappearing and Renji felt him press slightly closer to him, as though seeking a measure of comfort. He felt glad inside that he had been able to do something to help Byakuya, who seemed more uncomfortable than Renji had ever seen him. He wished there could be a moment for him to speak with the noble to ask him what had him so unnerved, but Yemon stepped forward, his face solemn and the head captain and captains closed in around them and the ritual moved forward.

"Byakuya Kuchiki," Yemon said, his voice tinged with anticipation, "before you can receive the king's coalesced power, your body must be completely emptied and your soul protected from coming into contact with his majesty in this state. The head captain and captains will place your spirit in this pendant and your body will then be infused with his power. When the raw power has been rendered by your body, you will consummate your marriage and thus fill the King's Vessel with his developing form. When that form has stabilized, it will emerge from the vessel and the king will complete his rebirth."

All of a sudden, Renji understood why Byakuya had been so unsettled.

_He knew about this beforehand. Thinking back, it seems like he expected other things too. It's seemed all along he's known more about what was going on than me. And yet, he didn't tell me anything…and I have to wonder, was it because he wanted to keep those things from me because he thought I couldn't handle knowing ahead of time…or was he thinking that not knowing was actually better for me…_

A soft jolt of something that felt like protectiveness flared inside him as the head captain stepped forward and accepted a blue star pendant from Yemon. He stood at the foot of the table with the other captains gathered around, and he held the pendant over Byakuya's restrained body. And Yemon's words came back to Renji with unexpected force.

_He said Byakuya's body had to be emptied…but his powers have already been removed…so what is left?_

He felt the swell of the combined power of the head captain and captains and felt Byakuya's head turn and a soft flutter of wet eyelashes against his throat as the noble's eyes closed and a soft shudder went through him. Renji realized suddenly what it all meant and his heart froze in his chest.

_Oh my kami! They're going to…remove his soul? Shit! No wonder he's…_

He knew there was nothing he could do to stop it, so he let his hands slide down Byakuya's arms, over the bound wrists and laced their fingers together as the captains' power rose around them. He focused on the connection between their minds and forced his own mind to stay calm. He might be scared shitless, but it was Byakuya whose soul was about to be pulled from his body, so he forced down his own feelings and projected calm as Byakuya's fingers tightened and his body jolted reflexively. The noble sucked in a dragging breath, more like an inward gasp and his body seized. The captains' power raged around them now, sounding in Renji's ears like a hurricane. Byakuya gave a low groan and his body jolted one last time and fell still. Renji felt a soft exhale of breath against his throat and then Byakuya stopped breathing altogether. Panic rose up in Renji's mind as he held the noble's unresponsive body and stroked his nerveless fingers. He was vaguely aware of the head captain leaning forward and placing the pendant around Byakuya's neck and then the captains withdrew, leaving Byakuya and Renji with Yemon.

"Do not worry, Renji Abarai," Yemon told him, "although his body shows no signs of life, the king's power sustains it. Take him and follow the attendants to the transitioning room."

Powered more by necessity than by conscious thought, Renji climbed off of the table and waited as Yemon released Byakuya's restraints, then lifted the noble's limp body and followed the attendants out of the room. It seemed odd to him that not so long before he had felt comforted that Byakuya had been named King's Guardian because he thought that meant Byakuya would be using his powers to protect him. And yet the noble was now powerless, unconscious…not even in his own body, and, Renji realized with a shiver, when he woke, the two of them would be having sex for the first time.

_His soul isn't even in his body, because it can't be allowed to come into direct contact with the king's raw, unrendered power. I wonder if he'll even know what we're doing…if he'll have any awareness…_

They reached the transitioning room, which turned out to be a huge suite with a large, comfortable looking bed. Renji's stomach twinged uncomfortably as he considered what was going to happen in that bed. He had been so focused on what Byakuya was experiencing, he hadn't had time to think that particular part of the ritual through. But there was no time left. He was led into the room and told to place Byakuya in bed. Then Yemon bowed deeply and wished him goodnight and he and the attendants left him alone in the room with Byakuya's still form.

It was strange being in the suddenly silent room and feeling so alone. He hadn't really had time to think much about what it would be like to be with Byakuya sexually, and now that he was left with too much time, his stomach jolted uncomfortably and he couldn't get the thought to leave his mind. He had been with a few women over the years, but had never been with a man. And being that he had been named King's Vessel, it didn't take much imagination or intelligence to know that he was the one who would be taken. He had heard that it could be painful and it occurred to him that he didn't know if Byakuya had ever been with another man either. It was unnerving enough to know he would be taken…and even worse to consider what it would be like if his sexual partner was not gentle enough or experienced enough to keep him from feeling pain. He pushed the thought away and moved closer to Byakuya.

The noble lay perfectly still on the bed, his eyes closed and the lovely silver hair splayed out around his head and shoulders. Again, Renji was keenly aware that Byakuya was a beautiful man…beautiful and dangerous…and now his life partner. He tried to imagine what living with him would be like. Would they be expected to sleep together at night? Would Byakuya want for them to have sex often? He could barely stomach the knowledge they would be having sex just this once. If the noble demanded more…

Renji pushed the thoughts away and climbed out of bed. He walked to the window and gazed out at the moon and stars, missing the familiarity of home, the comfort of routines, the steadfast ways of his life that seemed to have escaped him and might never return. He had been told that upon completion of the ritual, that he would be free to return to his life, but there were some things that would be forever changed…and he wasn't sure how to handle that. He shivered softly and sighed. He would just have to take things one day at a time. He was still plenty scared, but as tended to be the case in his life, the survivor inside was rising up to carry him through. It would sustain him through the end of the ritual…and what happened after? Well, he would have to deal with that as it came.

He heard a sound behind him and turned. To his surprise, Byakuya now knelt on the bed, his body still showing no signs of breathing, but animated by the king's power. He said nothing, but his head lifted and the silver eyes opened and began to glow softly. Swallowing hard, Renji walked back to the bed and stood for a moment, looking down at Byakuya. He knew what was expected, but couldn't seem to make himself take that last step. Byakuya was still staring at him, a dangerous hunger in the silver eyes. He waited expectantly, his eyes raking Renji's body, making him shiver with dread. He wanted to console himself with the fact that this was Byakuya, that however stern his captain might be, Byakuya had never been deliberately cruel to him…but, he reminded himself, Byakuya's soul rested in the star pendant and his body was controlled by the king's power now.

"Lie down…" Byakuya said, his voice echoing strangely.

He could hear the impatience in the noble's voice and knew better than to delay any longer. He climbed onto the bed and started to lie down on his back next to Byakuya. As he moved, Byakuya moved with him, placing a hand between his shoulder blades and forcing him down onto his stomach. He turned his head to the side and felt the noble's body pushing his legs apart and positioning itself behind him.

Whatever Renji had prepared himself for, this wasn't it. He could imagine what it would be like to have Byakuya take him sexually, but he had imagined they would at least exchange a few kisses or try to connect with each other. He hadn't expected to be brought down, forced onto his stomach and taken from behind. Worse than that, there was a disjointedness, an odd urgency to Byakuya's movements and he didn't even bother with any kind of preparation. He wasn't forceful or cruel, but there was just no way that he could take Renji in such a way and not have it hurt. Renji shut his eyes tightly and groaned uncomfortably as Byakuya's hands took hold of his hips and he felt the noble's swollen and leaking member touch his entrance and begin to push forward. He could feel the king's rendered power now, pulsating within the confines of Byakuya's body and impatiently awaiting implantation in Renji's body. It was this, he understood that was making Byakuya behave this way. He knew that even at his worst, Byakuya wasn't this cruel…but somehow even knowing that, he couldn't help but feel the awful sting of what was happening to him.

Byakuya pushed forward, holding Renji's hips in place and groaning impatiently. Renji knew he had to make his body relax and tried to do so, but he couldn't seem to stop shaking, to catch his breath, to make his body calm. And still, Byakuya continued to push harder. Renji made a sound of pain and his body recoiled. The noble's fingers dug into his skin and held him tightly. He pushed forward steadily.

"You must relax your body," the strange, echoing voice told him.

"I'm trying to…" Renji panted.

The noble's fingers tightened again and Renji felt more pressure. He felt a heavy shock of pain and the deep invasion of his body and his arms collapsed. His upper body dropped down, but his lower body remained in Byakuya's grasp. The noble's body had begun to thrust in and out of him immediately, soft sounds of urgency escaping the pristine lips and sending hard chills down Renji's spine. He wondered briefly how aware Byakuya was of what was happening…if he cared at all about what his body was doing to Renji. He tried to connect with Byakuya's mind, with his emotions, but the king's power buzzed and throbbed all around, making his mind hazy…dull…unable to connect with Byakuya's at all. The noble's body continued the harsh thrusting and began to emit low sounds of pleasure, though for Renji, there was nothing pleasant about what was happening. He felt a sudden tension in the body behind his, then Byakuya thrust in hard, his fingers digging in painfully and holding Renji in place. Renji felt a hard jolt of heat and pain, an explosion of sensation inside him that he was totally unprepared for. The king's power flared wildly around their two joined bodies and Renji felt himself being forcefully filled with it. He screamed in pain now, unable to hold it back anymore. Again and again, the hardness inside him pulsed, sending the rendered power into him and leaving his insides burning furiously. He felt tears on his face, but couldn't move to wipe them away. His breath came out in hard gasps and his voice had grown hoarse from screaming.

Renji felt something change suddenly in the body that had invaded his. There was a small flare of power, the sound of glass breaking, then he felt a puff of breath on his back as Byakuya exhaled. The noble made a sound of confusion and dismay, and pulled away from Renji, sliding out of him…hands loosening and releasing, allowing the stricken man to collapse the rest of the way onto the bed. Renji lay still, his insides still blazing, his back aching and an odd stickiness on his bottom and thighs. He opened his eyes and caught sight of Byakuya's face, his coloring returned to normal as the king's power left him, but a horrified look of revulsion on his face. He sat still, his jaw clenched, his body shaking and his eyes wide. With trembling hands, he set his yukata back in place.

"R-renji," he said, his voice sounding normal again, "are…are you…?"

But Renji was beyond answering. The king's power seethed inside him sending everything into a long, dizzying spin and sending him spiraling into the darkness.


	4. The End of Obligation

**Chapter 4: The End of Obligation**

Byakuya sat in stunned silence, his arms wrapped around his body and his eyes on Renji's still form. Even though his vice captain was obviously unconscious, the noble could still feel the shattering pain Renji had been experiencing during the consummation.

_If it can be called that…It shouldn't have been like that. I know that the king's power had to be placed in him, but it shouldn't have been so painful. It sickens me knowing what I did to him…_

But there was no undoing what had already been done, and Byakuya was keenly aware that there was still more to the rebirth ritual. There would be some time now while the king's spirit form molded itself into Renji's shape and took control of his body. Then, he knew, it would be his job to keep the levels of power stabilized within Renji's body while the king's spirit form matured and grew ready to emerge.

But while there was time, there was time to begin making things right…

He loosed his arms from around his body, shivering, though the room was not cold. No, the coldness was inside him now, spinning and chilling every part of him as his body remembered what it had been made to do. A heavy wave of sickness passed over him and he stopped short of Renji to catch his breath and swallow the discomfort. He hadn't had any kind of control, he reminded himself. It was hardly any type of consolation, but it comforted him enough to make himself move towards Renji again, crawling on hands and knees, his black hair hanging down limply and his hands shaking as he sat up beside his vice captain and reached out to touch him.

He half expected the golden eyes to open and for Renji's body to pull away from his touch. But his life partner remained perfectly still except for the movements of his breathing…lying facedown…his yukata rumpled and stained with semen and blood.

_Blood… And bruises where my hands held him…_

The sick feeling passed over him again and he closed his eyes and breathed through it. He forced his emotions down in a hard exhale and moved forward. His hands took hold of Renji's yukata and he carefully removed it. He climbed out off of the bed and gathered several towels and some warm water, then cleaned away what he could. He winced at the pain he still sensed in Renji's body, but without his spirit centers, had no healing power to relieve it. With nothing left he could do, he dressed his life partner in a fresh yukata and moved Renji so that he lay on his back, resting more comfortably on the pillows. Byakuya remained kneeling beside him, waiting for some sign of returning consciousness. Some time later, Renji began to shift uncomfortably in his sleep…then finally, much later, the golden eyes opened and looked up at Byakuya.

A chill ran down the noble's spine.

_This…this isn't Renji. It doesn't even feel like him. This is the king…_

"Lie down," Renji's voice said, echoing strangely.

His heart racing, Byakuya obeyed. He laid his body down next to Renji's, flinching uncomfortably as Renji's body lifted and leaned over him. He shivered as the glowing white hands loosed the tie at his waist.

"M-my lord…?" he said questioningly.

"Shh…" he breathed, touching a hand to the noble's heaving breast, "I'm only restoring your spirit centers so that you may stabilize my spirit energy if it should begin to overwhelm this body. It is very important that you do not allow that to happen."

Byakuya nodded and tried to hold still even as the feel of Renji's hands touching him so intimately sent cold shivers up his spine. He knew the touches were not sexual, but no one other than Hisana and some of the healers responsible for his care had ever touched him beneath his clothing like that. But, he reminded himself, because he was now married to Renji, his life partner had the right to touch him sexually…and despite how it made him feel, he was required to allow it.

"You have questions," the odd, echoing voice said as one of Renji's hands slid down his torso, placing a spirit center and focusing power through it until the new center lit brightly and returned a soft pulse, "Speak them."

Byakuya thought carefully.

"Why don't I feel Renji's mind? I felt it before, beginning when we were bonded."

"The transfer of my power was too burdensome, so I have made his mind sleep. It is better this way."

"Why is it that he is able to withstand your power sharing his body and I was not?"

"When my power was fed into your body, through the captains in the throne room, the power was in its natural, unrendered form. It would have overwhelmed you. Your body held it and made it more stable so that it could be placed in the vessel and fully stabilized," the king explained.

"My lord," Byakuya said, his voice softening, "can you tell me why Renji and I were chosen for this? We are not lovers…and in fact, had no romantic interest with each other. I have only ever been with my late wife…and I believe that Renji has only ever been with women…"

"None of those things were considered," the king told him, "What mattered was the levels of your power and the connection between you."

"Connection?" Byakuya repeated, "You mean, because he is my vice captain?"

"You and this man are passionately connected. Most recently, you have used that passion to hurt each other."

Byakuya blinked.

"You…mean, because we fought over Rukia's fate?"

The king nodded.

"You loosed the full force of your passions for each other as enemies, and thus revealed your potential to me."

"Our potential?"

The king held a hand where Byakuya could see, letting a small strand of his power flare between two fingertips.

"You powers are deeply connected to your emotions. When you are emotionally connected to your battle, you fight at the utmost peak of your ability. You cannot help it. It is how you are made. It is the same way with love. If you direct the passion within you to empowering your ability to love each other, you will improve your connection."

"But I don't love Renji…and he does not love me…" Byakuya objected.

The king smiled.

"You speak of love as though it either exists or does not. But even your love for Hisana had to begin somewhere, Byakuya. And if you will remember, after you saved your sister, the energies between you and Renji shifted in a positive way."

"We respect each other. We work well together…but…"

"You doubt that Renji will ever awaken the passions inside you? But they already have awakened before."

"But that was anger…hatred…"

"That became respect and has the potential to become affection…even love…"

"How?" Byakuya asked desperately.

Shock flooded his body as the king moved and brought Renji's body gently down on top of his. He stared into the golden eyes in confusion, and the confusion increased as Renji's mouth captured his and gently invaded it. He sucked in a surprised breath and was shocked by the instant reaction in his body. His stomach twinged and his body went weak and pliant in Renji's arms. The king smiled warmly down at him.

"You only need to open your hearts and allow your passions to surface. The rest will happen on its own."

He lifted himself away and continued to restore Byakuya's spirit centers.

"But I hurt Renji…when I…"

"You did not hurt Renji. I did. The force of the power and my need to be placed in him caused me to become careless. I am an immortal, spiritual being, not accustomed to being contained within a physical form. The rebirthing process requires the use of physical forms and while I inhabit them, they feel foreign to me. My responses to my needs are more primal, less emotionally adroit before the power is rendered. I did not intend to inflict pain, but simply failed to avoid it due to the instability in the energies controlling me at the time."

"But even though it wasn't me…it was my body that was used to inflict that pain. His body will remember…and he will respond negatively."

"Yes," agreed the monarch, "That is likely at first. But you will work your way past that. Trust yourself. You and Renji already have the potential for great love. I will caution you though, that the same potential can be used for hatred. You have already been down that road together and you must avoid traveling it again if you wish to find contentment with each other. You have been alone for too long. You need him…and he needs you."

"Why would Renji need me?" Byakuya asked curiously.

The king shook his head.

"You will have to discover that on your own."

They were quiet for several minutes as the king finished placing the last spirit center. Byakuya stood by the bed and looked into the mirror, encouraged by the return flare of power inside him and regaining of his own coloring and form. He returned to the bed and knelt next to Renji. The king had lain down again and rested on his back against the pillows.

"May I heal him?" he asked the king, who smiled and nodded.

"I will wake him and allow the two of you to bond for the remainder of the rebirthing. Remember what I said, Byakuya. Trust yourself and Renji to ignite your inner passions."

The golden eyes closed and Renji's body fell still. Byakuya leaned over Renji and searched his body carefully, using their new connection to sense the areas of pain so that he could address them. He was healing the last of the bruises, his hand moving slowly over Renji's hip as his life partner opened his eyes and registered the noble's touch. His eyes flared in reaction and he shoved Byakuya hard, forcing him off the edge of the bed. The noble stood still, meeting Renji's tormented eyes warily.

_He hates me for hurting him…_

_And he should…_

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji woke the the feel of Byakuya's touch on his bare hip and pushed the noble away forcefully, then stared as Byakuya recovered himself and stood gazing quietly back at him.

"Don't touch me," he said in a low voice, trying to keep it from shaking.

"I was only trying to heal you."

"Why?" asked Renji, nearly choking on his emotions, "so you don't have to see the damage you did?"

"It was…"

"I'm not just talking about that, Captain. I'm talking about the fact that none of this came as a shock to you. You _knew_! You _knew_ what was going to happen and you didn't say ANYTHING!"

"I didn't know he would hurt you like that," Byakuya said quietly, "I'm sorry, Renji."

"So…what else haven't you told me? What other secrets are you keeping that are going to jump out and do damage?"

"Nothing…all that's left is for me to keep your body stabilized as the king's new form matures and prepares to emerge. I am not keeping anything from you."

"Huh," huffed Renji, sitting up and turning away, "And why should I believe you? Why should I believe one damned word you say?"

"Because I am telling you the truth. Renji, it's true that I knew about the rebirthing process…but I also knew that everything would be explained as we went and I thought it would be better to let you learn things bit by bit, rather than all at once. It was a burden for me, knowing as I did…"

"Well I'm not like you…_Captain_."

"Renji, we are married. You can just call me Byakuya."

"No."

"No?" Byakuya repeated questioningly.

"You want to make it seem like there's an actual relationship here, Captain…but nobody asked me if I wanted to marry you…and you! You knew all along we would have to be married and soul bonded. What were you afraid of? That I wouldn't accept it? That I would run? That I would escape before someone tied me down and forced me to go along with it?"

"You're just saying this because you're hurt…and it's all very recent," Byakuya said, his voice faltering, "When we go home…"

Renji turned and glared at him and Byakuya was shocked to see tears on his face.

"When we go home, I want you out of my life. I never want to see you again…Captain."

"You're just tired…and hurt…"

"Let me make this clear to you. I despise you. You are nothing to me. Leave me alone."

"I have to…"

"Fine…" snapped Renji, "but other than that, you don't touch me…ever!"

"I understand your feelings towards me…and I won't do anything you don't want me to…but you are married to a clan leader. You are required to live in the manor…"

"I'm not a member of your fucking clan!" Renji stormed, "I don't have to follow their rules!"

"That's where you're wrong," Byakuya said softly, "You became a member of the Kuchiki clan when we married…and you will conduct yourself as such, so as not to dishonor my family. Because we are both male, there is no requirement that we share a bed…but you must remain at the manor."

"Yeah, well…" Renji said, standing and starting towards the bedroom door, "someone kind of forgot to tell me all of the rules here. But I'm sure there will be a shitload of them when we go home."

"Then…you won't leave me?" Byakuya asked cautiously.

"According to you, I can't. You win, Captain. I have no choice but to stay with you…"

He put his hand on the door handle, then paused and looked back at the noble.

"But just because I stay, doesn't mean I'll do whatever you say. I didn't choose any of this…and I'll only put up with so much!"

He burst out the door, slamming it shut behind him and leaving Byakuya standing alone, his eyes wide and his heart beating like a drum.

_I feel the strength of his passions…just as the king said I would. But, kami, he's so angry! He hates me so much! How am I supposed to turn that into love?_

Byakuya left the bedroom and used his connection to Renji to sense where he was. He sensed his life partner was in the King's Garden and followed. He was careful to keep his distance, but to stay close enough that he could reach Renji quickly if the king's power began to overwhelm him. He found a small sakura tree at he top of a hill and sat beneath it, looking out over a lovely expanse of green meadow and colorful flowers. He wondered that he could feel such sadness even while in such a beautiful place. He had always longed to see the spirit dimension…but sadly now, all he wanted to do was to go home…and to put the memory of this place behind him.


	5. The Road Back Home

**Chapter 5: The Road Back Home**

Renji sat quietly beneath the sakura tree, looking out over the darkened meadows beyond and trying to ignore Byakuya's presence, somewhere in the area around him. The noble was being guarded around him, only appearing as necessary to stabilize the king's power, then disappearing without comment. He never approached Renji otherwise and spoke to him only when necessary. Renji knew he was only acting that way because he, himself had told Byakuya to leave him alone, but to some extent, he actually wished the noble would force a confrontation. Perhaps it was the opposite of what he said, but it would be some kind of sign that Renji made a difference in his world.

He wondered why he gave a shit about that. It didn't matter. He was in Byakuya's world now, whether either one liked it or not. He was part of a noble clan…and as soon as their obligation in the spirit dimension ended, he would learn just how much that was going to fuck up his life.

He was already screwed as far as falling in love and having kids…not that he had sought those things before, not with any real interest. He was young enough to enjoy the freedom of being single and able to move around freely. And although the military took up a good portion of his time and energy, he was able to do what he wanted with his free time. But he knew from what Rukia had told him, that things were very different in a noble household. There were rules and expectations, foreign concepts to a free spirited Rukon kid. It felt like a noose had been placed around his neck and even though they were still in the spirit dimension, already he was beginning to feel it tighten. It left him feeling sick inside, sick and trapped. He wondered briefly if Byakuya might just feel the same.

He almost stopped and laughed at himself…

_I'm worried about Byakuya Kuchiki's feelings, now? Who the fuck even knows if that guy has feelings…_

Immediately, for some reason that Renji couldn't fathom, he flashed back to the moments before Byakuya's soul was removed from his body…the shiver of fear, the wet eyelashes brushing lightly against his throat, the tightening of his hands…as though he was hanging on for dear life. Then, he remembered carrying Byakuya's essentially lifeless body to the transitioning room.

_What would I feel if Byakuya died?_

The thought took him by surprise, then the answer made him swallow hard and tremble softly. Because the truth was that from this point on, he would never know. If Byakuya died now, because they were soul bonded, Renji would die with him.

"Shit," he whispered softly, "Kinda makes being his vice captain and protecting him a little more personal…"

But it also gave Byakuya a new vulnerability…because Renji was not yet as powerful as Byakuya…and if he laid down his life protecting his captain…then his captain would die anyway.

_Talk about a fucking waste…_

He flinched as a dull, throbbing pain began in his abdomen. Shifting positions beneath the tree helped only slightly. He tried to distract himself, to think about something else, anything else, but the throbbing sensation only grew and beneath his skin, the king's power began to burn.

"Oh…" he groaned, looking around for Byakuya, "Fuck…this…this hurts…"

A flash step sounded and Byakuya appeared suddenly beside him. Wordlessly, he eased his life partner down onto his back and placed a hand on his abdomen.

"It feels…different this time," Renji groaned as Byakuya brushed his eyes closed and lowered his consciousness, dulling his senses to ease the pain, but leaving him lucid enough to speak and comprehend.

"That is because it's time," Byakuya said, lowering his head and focusing heavily, sending his reiatsu into Renji's glowing abdomen, "Relax and focus on breathing slowly. The king is about to emerge. This is good, Renji. We'll be going back home…"

Renji's hazed mind only half heard the noble's words, but he heard enough to know he needed to stay focused and relaxed, so he took a slow breath and released it as the comforting swell of Byakuya's reiatsu slid into his body, relieving the pain and providing a buffer between Renji and the emerging king. He cracked an eye open and was treated to the admittedly beautiful sight of Byakuya outlined in bright white light, with the moon and stars at his back. His face was calm and serene, more like the captain he remembered from before…

"Aw…and I'd thought I'd found a way to escape that idiot, Zabimaru!" he groaned in an attempt at humor.

"Well," said Byakuya in a rare show of affection, "I think Zabimaru will be likely to behave a bit better, having missed you so…at least for an hour or two."

"Oh…" Renji panted softly, "shit…"

"What?" Byakuya asked, washing his face with a cool, wet cloth.

"You made a joke…and it was actually kinda funny," Renji moaned, "I've got to be dying, ne?"

"If you are, then I am too…do not forget that, Abarai," Byakuya said serenely, "And I do not intend to die any time soon."

"Yeah," huffed Renji, "leave it to you to even tell me when it's okay and not okay to die!"

"You're not dying, Renji. You're giving birth to our king…" Byakuya said, sending his reiatsu into his life partner and slowly expanding it to wrap around the fully formed king.

"Hey!" Renji objected dizzily, "What the hell are you doing to me? Ripping my guts out? Hah…I think you're rearranging stuff in there. Watch what you're doing!"

"Abarai," said Byakuya, an edge of annoyance in his tone, "unless you'd like to do this for me, I suggest you lie there and breathe slowly, like I told you."

"Augh," grunted Renji irritably, "can't stop…being captain…for like a sec and…hah…actually show some…ow!…some sympathy?"

"Hmmm," muttered Byakuya, focusing intently, "I think you're feeling sorry enough for yourself, ne?"

"Huh…I _knew_ you'd say that!" Renji groaned, biting at his at his lower lip.

Byakuya washed the sweat from his face again, then returned to his midsection.

"You might want to watch this, Renji," he said quietly, "I'm about to help him emerge."

"Oh…oh kami…ah…ah…Captain, I uh…I don't feel so…good."

Byakuya lifted Renji and knelt behind him, reaching around him and placing one hand on his chest and one on his abdomen. He rested his head on Renji's shoulder.

"It's okay, Renji, we're almost there…watch…"

He wrapped his reiatsu around Renji and focused deeply until the white light around them wavered and shimmered, then turned as golden as Renji's hair and eyes. Slowly, before the stunned eyes of the two shinigamis, Renji's midsection pulsed sharply and a golden body began to rise out of it.

"Ah, hell," hissed Renji, as Byakuya's hands left his chest and abdomen and captured his hands, "Ugh…"

The head and broad shoulders emerged first, then hands reached out and steadied the king as he turned and slowly pulled his body free of Renji's. Byakuya stared in amazement at the sight of the beautiful, fully formed body that emerged and stood, then slowly removed the golden light, revealing himself to them…all but his face, which remained cloaked in golden light and obscured. Byakuya realized suddenly that Renji had stopped talking and looked down at him. With the king emerged, his hair was changing, darkening, regaining its normal red shade. Oddly, though his glowing white skin was growing darker and more tanned again, the black tattoos remained absent.

"Renji," Byakuya said, touching his face.

But he had gone limp in Byakuya's arms.

"He was overcome as I emerged," the king said, leaning over the redhead and touching him lightly, "He may not regain consciousness again for some time. It was a very demanding process…"

"My lord," said Byakuya, his eyes still on the unconscious man he held in his arms, "I thought that he would be all right…that he would return to normal after…"

"And he will," the king assured him, "but his recovery will be slower than yours, because of the rigors of holding me inside him for an extended time. His spirit centers will slowly regrow and as he reconnects with his zanpakutou, the markings he had will emerge again. But before he returns to the Seireitei, he must have protection from the strong reiatsu that exists there."

The king touched the redhead's wrists and a golden band formed on each one.

"These bands will slowly fade as he recovers. When they disappear, he will regain his powers."

"But how long will Renji be like this?" Byakuya asked, worry in his voice, "An extended period of powerlessness like that after the month long process of the rebirthing…it will be difficult for him…"

The king smiled.

"Renji will have you to care for him."

Byakuya nodded, but his eyes were troubled. The king set a hand on his shoulder.

"You worry, Byakuya, I feel the concerns burning all around you."

"Renji barely speaks to me anymore," the noble said quietly, "We were more normal during your emergence than we have been the whole time we were here…and I was pleased at that…but I know when Renji wakes and he is faced with the expectations and responsibilities of being forced into my family, he will likely be troubled again."

"I am sure that your estimation of him is accurate," said the king, "and it will be your task and his to push through the difficulty. You are both creatures of free will and power. You must make your decisions independent of me and you will set the path for your future. I see grave challenges that you will face…but I believe the two of you will be successful in the end."

"Then…" said Byakuya, looking down at Renji, "if we have our lord's confidence, I believe we will be successful as well. It's just…difficult to know where to begin."

The king smiled and nodded.

"Always, getting started is the hardest part…so I will give you and Renji a beginning. Your lives have been on hold for the last month while you prepared the way for me to be reborn. Your duty is now finished."

He touched the silver sigil on Byakuya's forehead and it faded. He turned to Renji and did the same.

"You are freed of this obligation as of this moment. I am grateful to the two of you for assisting me…and as a token of my appreciation, you have been given the ability to return to the spirit dimension at any time you choose, as well as special status with the royal family so that while you are here, you will be our honored guests, always. Your head captain will be according the two of you a month of leave so that you may recover and have time to settle into your new life together. Now, bring Renji and I will open the doorway."

"What?" Byakuya said, looking surprised.

"Come now, Byakuya," said the king affectionately, "I think I have been the source of too much disruption in your lives. The least I can do is make your return to the Seireitei as fast and trouble-free as possible."

He turned and opened a shimmering doorway. Byakuya lifted Renji into his arms and stepped towards the opening, feeling a sense of oddness and discontinuity at seeing Kuchiki Manor just on the other side. He turned back to the king and bowed his head respectfully.

"Arigato, my lord," he said softly.

"No, Byakuya," said the king, "My thanks belong to you…you and your Renji. Go now and find your way to each other…for that, you will find, is the greatest gift in all of this…if only you desire it and open yourself to it."

"I trust in my lord's vision," said Byakuya, "even though my own view is more limited."

He took his leave of the king and passed through the doorway that had been opened. Stepping down, he landed lightly in the center of the gardens. A sentry spotted him and ran forward hastily.

"Lord Kuchiki, welcome home. We were not aware you would be returning today. Let me alert your attendant, sir."

"Yes," Byakuya said, nodding and turning towards the room he had sent word for his staff to prepare for Renji.

He carried the redhead into the room and placed him in bed, then quietly exited the room, leaving the doors into the garden opened. Torio ran up to greet him, followed by another youth of about the same age.

"Welcome Michio," Byakuya said, nodding in acknowledgement, "I have just placed Renji in his room. I want you to watch over him and to send for Hanatarou to assist you. His recovery will take some time, as you will see. And Michio, Renji has not lived in a noble home before. I trust that you will accompany him wherever he goes within the manor and council offices until he is more accustomed to being here. He will need a great deal of guidance, I think…and I think he will find it easier to hear, coming from you than me. In any case, he is likely to be moderately temperamental and occasionally difficult to manage, so just do the best you can, and let me know if there is any reason for my intercession."

"Hai, Lord Kuchiki!" said Michio, bowing and disappearing into Renji's room.

Torio smiled at Byakuya and bowed.

"Sir, which would you like first, tea or a hot bath?" he asked.

"Prepare a bath, I think," Byakuya said, his mind relaxing as it began to sink in that he was really home, "and have the tea waiting for when I am done."

"Hai, Lord Byakuya, I will have the bathing chamber prepared right away."

Torio flash stepped away, leaving Byakuya standing quietly in the garden. He breathed in the fresh scent of the flowers and gazed down into the koi pond, reconnecting with all that was comforting and familiar.

_Kami, it feels good to be home. The spirit dimension was stunningly beautiful, but it was such a strange place…and so much happened there…_

He glanced over in the direction of Renji's room, wondering what would happen when he woke. He had his concerns, especially considering Renji's withdrawal from him during the later days of their time in the spirit dimension. They had a lot of ground to cover, now that they were back.

_But in a way, we will never fully return from that place. Something of who we are was lost there…and we became like two different people. But that time is over and we are here now. And I think that what we have to do is to put the spirit dimension and all of that unpleasantness behind us. The less I bring up the memory, the sooner he will forget…and the sooner he forgets, the sooner we will be able to move on from this. It will take time for him to recover his powers and to settle in to noble life, but he has Michio to help him. Michio grew up in the Rukongai also, so will know better what might calm his nerves as he learns to cope with being there. And if I leave him space in which to settle and become adjusted, perhaps he won't feel crowded by me. Yes…forget and move on…give him space and let him approach me when he is ready. That is what I must do…_


	6. The Ghost of Me

**Chapter 6: The Ghost of Me**

Byakuya entered the Kuchiki Council Hall and turned into the central meeting chamber, walking to the head of the table and waiting as the gathered elders took their places. Head Councilor Nori stood and called the meeting to order.

"The council welcomes Lord Byakuya back from the spirit dimension and congratulates him on having served his majesty in a way befitting of our noble house. You have honored us with your commitment to his majesty and have served as a model to others through your humility and obedience."

"Arigato, Councilor Nori," Byakuya said, inclining his head.

"But you have called this meeting for another reason, ne?" the councilor went on, "Council has been busy in your absence. We have begun plans for a wedding reception and introduction of Renji Abarai to the subfamilies. In addition, Council asks that our leader will soon announce when he has been successful in creating an heir with his new spouse."

Byakuya raised his eyes and motioned for Nori to stop. The head councilor fell silent and the eyes of the elders studied Byakuya with curiosity.

"I know all of you are aware that what Renji Abarai and I were called to do was a tremendous and arduous task…and it put great strain on us, both physically, and in my spouse's case, emotionally. Renji was not raised in a noble house and suddenly finding himself forced into one, he has had a difficult time. The relationship between the two of us is congenial, however, we are not in love and will likely never be. And after what Renji endured in the spirit dimension, we simply cannot add the weight of forcing him to carry my child as well. The power that makes the Kuchiki heir able to make heirs with a male is a wonderful ability…given the right situation, but you all know that we will not likely be successful if we are not both committed to the making of the child. Due to the nature of our situation, the fact that we were forced into marriage and cannot, as we are, procure an heir, I make my intention known to study the candidates from among the subfamilies to name an heir. And in so choosing, I wish for the council to acknowledge this choice with a vote to relieve Renji and myself of any obligation to bear children. Simply put, it will only add strain to an already difficult marriage."

Head Councilor Nori stood for a moment, considering his words, then he looked back at the council and sent the group into conference for several minutes. Byakuya stood quietly at the head of the table, thinking back to what he had told Renji.

It had been a lie when he told Renji that, because they were male, they were not required to share a bed…and he had given Renji the incorrect impression that children were not a possibility. But by having the council vote to agree to choose an heir from the subfamilies, the lie would become fact. Then the pressure for them to make a child would disappear and they could attempt to settle more comfortably into whatever manner of union that they could manage without unnecessary expectations. He did inwardly wish that children could be a possibility, but Renji only felt anger towards him. He had already been through far too much in bearing the king…and the thought of putting him through the carrying an heir was too much of a weight. In any case, he would have to take Renji again to procure an heir…and he couldn't even think about that…not after what he had been used to do to Renji. No…if indeed, they did improve their relationship to the point of having sexual relations, still he resolved never to take Renji again. He didn't have the right. He didn't want the right.

And he knew exactly what the elders would think of such a refusal…

So it was better all around to point out what Renji had been through and make what he felt was a very reasonable request to spare his spouse any more heavy obligation to a family he had already served by helping to make the king.

"Lord Byakuya," Nori said, startling Byakuya out of his thoughts, "Council has discussed the matter and although we certainly agree that the honor of bearing the king was difficult for you and your spouse, it is your very ability to assist the king that points to your being able to procure an heir of sufficient strength to guide our clan. Despite the quality of the candidates from the subfamilies, none have the genetic factors present in your union with Renji Abarai. Despite his peasant class, this man possesses ban kai level and great strength. Matched with your power, it will create an equally powerful heir. You simply cannot deny our clan the fruit of the union between two captain level shinigamis."

Byakuya shook his head in disgust.

"Do not dare to treat the two of us as your brood mare and stud! Renji and I are people…and what we have already endured more than proves our commitment to this family and our king. I find it egregious that after what we have done that you would not accord us the space and the comfort of time we need to grow into love!"

Nori cleared his throat.

"Lord Byakuya, again, we understand your feelings, but as you know, nobles are often called to put their feelings aside and to do what is best for the clan. But we are not unsympathetic. We would be happy to give you as much as ten years to grow into your relationship with Vice Captain Abarai. So the council denies you abandonment of your obligation to procure an heir…and orders that at the end of ten years, the conception must take place."

Byakuya bristled and glowered at the councilors, raising his reiatsu until the room rumbled softly.

"Might I remind this council of the dangers of forcing conception on one not up to the task? Must I remind you of the reason my late wife died? You forced us to conceive, knowing she was weak. She obeyed because she loved me and didn't want me to defy the council again…and because I impregnated her, she died, taking the heir with her. I warn you…do not force this. The cost of doing so would be too much. It wouldn't just be Renji who could die if forced. We are soul bonded. If Renji were to die, then I would die too…you might remember that while trying to force this on us!"

"Come now, Lord Byakuya," said Nori calmly, "you are obviously overwrought from your task in the spirit dimension. You simply need to rest and you will realize that we ask what is fair. We are willing to give the two of you extended time. We feel it is our right to expect you to make an heir. It is not like the last time. We agree that pushing you and Hisana into having a child while she was weak was a mistake. But Renji Abarai is stronger. He will not fall to weakness. So we are decided. You and Renji Abarai have ten years to make an heir."

Such fury ignited in Byakuya that he barely heard the rest of what was discussed. He could barely believe his ears. He had been so sure that the council would listen to him. But of course, they hadn't seen all of what he and Renji had endured…they didn't know…

He left the council chambers in a daze and stood at the top of the steps, looking back at Kuchiki Manor and knowing he couldn't go back there in the state he was in. He needed to process…yes, he had lost the first round, but he wasn't going to stop working to get the council to relieve them of the responsibility for the heir. It would just take determination…

He turned his eyes away from home and turned instead in the direction of the sixth division. He flash stepped all of the way to the office and stepped inside, immediately having the odd feeling of a sudden return to reality after a long break from it. The only thing missing from the room was Renji.

But it would be a long time before Renji would be fully restored and back at work. In the meantime, he lay at Kuchiki Manor, still unconscious, powerless…a shadow of who he had been…and Byakuya felt an unnaturally strong connection to the forces that had made him that way. It might not have been his fault, but…

_But at least I can try to reduce his burden. I'll convince the council to see things my way. I will!_

"Captain Kuchiki," said the third seat from across the room, "We were told you were on a month's leave!"

"I will be here from time to time to keep things running smoothly. As you were…"

He dropped down at his desk and made everything disappear by burying himself in a deep pile of paperwork.

XXXXXXXXXX

"Oh my kami…augh…ah…" Renji groaned turning onto his side.

He spotted a trashcan by the bed just in time to use it as he leaned over and emptied his stomach noisily. He sensed someone in the room, but was too busy heaving again to look at the person. He heaved a third time, then fell back, watching the stars spin in front of his eyes. He realized as the stars faded that he had no fucking idea where he was. The last thing he remembered was being in the king's garden, but…

He looked around and suddenly recognized the gardens outside his door.

"Kuchiki Manor?" he gasped, placing a hand on his stomach and turning to look out the garden doors again.

"Ah…good day, Master Abarai," said a pleasant, youthful voice, "I am Michio. I am to be your personal attendant, sir."

"Augh…erm…Michio, sorry, I feel like hell and I'm kinda confused…you mind telling me when I got here? Or am I still unconscious?"

"Oh…sir…you arrived yesterday. Lord Kuchiki sent a hell butterfly to tell us you were coming.

Renji pushed himself up so he was sitting and pulled his yukata tighter around him. He looked around the room, noting quite a few familiar items and boxes neatly stacked in the closet.

"M-michio," he asked, frowning, "is this…my stuff? From my apartment?"

"Yes, Master Abarai," the youth answered, smiling, "Lord Kuchiki sent word ahead that we should empty your apartment and bring all of your belongings here. We unpacked some things to make you comfortable, but you may change things to your liking as long as the room does not become cluttered."

"Cluttered?" Renji repeated, blinking.

"Yes," Michio answered, "Lord Kuchiki hates clutter. All of the rooms are kept spotlessly clean…but you can order me to clean for you if you wish…in case you are too busy or something…"

He looked at Renji's lost expression.

"Are you hungry, sir? Oh…sorry, maybe not. Would you like to bathe? We have a lovely tropical themed bathing chamber. I can show you."

Renji climbed slowly to his feet.

"I guess that sounds good…" the redhead muttered.

"Good, sir, I'll get you a fresh yukata."

The youth disappeared and reappeared several minutes later with a fine quality yukata.

"You know, I have a few comfortable ones of my own," he commented.

"Oh, I see," said Michio, "but when we brought your things over, the house seamstress went through your things and decided they were too threadbare and stained, so we had these made for you."

"I like my old, comfortable stuff…"

"Well…perhaps within your room for sleeping, but all of us are required to be properly dressed when we are outside our rooms."

"Huh…whatever," the redhead grumbled, "but it sounds kinda anal to me."

"Oh no, sir, it isn't arbitrary. Lord Kuchiki often has important visitors…"

"Yeah, yeah and he doesn't want them seeing a slob like me, ne? Keep going…we can talk as we walk…I really want to get into that hot water…"

They entered the bathing chamber and Renji gave a low whistle of appreciation at the artistic placement of plants and flowers, grass and a waterfall shower that rained down into a large pool. He paused at the edge, jumping as Michio pulled the tie free on his yukata.

"Hey there!" he laughed, "Come on. We barely know each other. You can't be trying to get my clothes of until at least the second date!"

Michio laughed softly.

"You are very funny, Master Abarai. But I have to undress you if I am to bathe you."

"Wh-what? Bathe me?"

"Oh yes, sir," Michio said, pulling his yukata off and baring him.

Renji started to object, then got a good look at his body.

"Shit! Oh shit! What the hell? What the…"

"Master Abarai!" said Michio worriedly, "Gomen nasai, did I do something wrong?"

"Oh…oh holy hell! Where the fuck…? What?" Renji stammered, turning and examining himself.

Then he saw the golden bands on his wrists…

"Oh…oh kami, this just gets worse and worse…"

"Can I…help you somehow, sir?"

Renji sighed miserably.

"Can you find Captain Kuchiki?" he asked, "I need to talk to him."

"Ah…Lord Kuchiki is indisposed at the moment. He…"

"Well, you tell him I need to…"

"Master Abarai, sir…he isn't here. He went to a meeting of the elders and then he sent a hell butterfly to tell us he was at work."

"He's…at work…" Renji muttered, his mind spinning.

"Sir…come into the water. I will bathe you. It will relax you. I can give you a massage if you like, sir."

"I don't want anyone massaging me, thanks," Renji said, pulling away from the youth.

Renji waded out into the water, muttering darkly and worked his way to the waterfall, enjoying the heat of the water and beginning to relax. He reached the waterfall and turned under the water, enjoying the way it pounded down on his skin, relaxing him even more and bringing him back to life. He turned to look for some soap and nearly jumped out of his skin at the sight of Michio standing in the water, wrapped only in a towel and holding the soap. He stepped forward, blinking questioningly as Renji stepped back.

"Whoa…wait a minute," he said sharply, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to bathe you, sir," the youth said calmly, "Lord Kuchiki said that you would be surprised sometimes. I was, when I was new here too. But you will get used to it."

The boy stepped forward and began applying soap to the redhead's skin before he could object again.

"I came from the Rukongai, too," Michio said as he bathed Renji, "so I know everything seems strange and different…but it isn't so bad, sir. And you are not a servant, but a family member."

"Yeah…sort of…"

Renji couldn't chase away the flush on his cheeks or the feeling of discomfort at having someone he barely knew, touching him all over like that. As Michio closed in on his genitals, Renji stepped back.

"Look…I know that this is probably fine for the noble's, but no one touches me there unless we're lovers…"

Michio smiled understandingly.

"I know it's strange, but once you get used to it…"

"No way, kid…sorry. I'll put up with most things, I guess, but no one's touching me there without my say so, got it?"

"Well…I…I guess…"

"You mean to tell me that everyone here gets bathed like that? Rukia too?" Renji asked, shocked.

"Yes…well, except that her attendants are female."

"Ah," Renji said.

He returned to the edge of the water, grabbed the fresh yukata and had it on before Michio managed to scramble out of the water.

"Sir," the youth said patiently, "I know you don't like being faced with all of these rules and odd ways, but Lord Kuchiki is certain that you will adjust. That's why he wanted me to…"

"And why doesn't Lord Kuchiki get his ass in here and tell me that, himself?" Renji asked.

Michio's eyes went wide for a moment.

"Ah…erm…well, the head of household has many duties to attend to…and he…he said I should help you settle in."

"Oh, so now he's too fucking busy to talk to me?" asked Renji, frowning, "I know he's this high and mighty clan leader, but we are married…I thought he'd at least come and see me when I woke up…"

"Sir…I can send a message…"

"Don't bother. I'll get dressed and go see his highness, myself!"


	7. Inelegance

**Chapter 7: Inelegance**

Byakuya felt a confusing mix of emotions as the sixth division door didn't just open, but nearly came off the hinges and Renji Abarai blew in through the door. Part of what he felt was relief. Awake was certainly better than unconscious…and an angry Renji was better than a shattered one, he decided. And anger in Renji was something he could handle flawlessly. He had been doing so for years.

But he felt other things too…and equally as strongly. Seeing Renji's chest heaving from the mere efforts of being furious, stomping down to the sixth division and practically taking the door off the hinges was unnerving. And seeing the furious face and the 'v' shaped opening in his uniform not decorated by the black markings, as well as the presence of the power dampening seals on his wrists was approaching frightening. And there wasn't just anger in the stormy brown eyes. Renji was hurt…and Byakuya knew, even without knowing exactly why, exactly whose fault it was. He was making mistakes…and if they were going to be a married couple, they would have to work through plenty of them…his and Renji's. So, Byakuya calmed his reiatsu, looked up dispassionately and tried to act as though they had never been in the spirit dimension at all.

"Is there a problem, Renji?"

Understatement usually spurred the redhead out of temperamental outbursts and straight into an explanation, a savings of both time and energy…

"Is there a problem?" Renji repeated sarcastically, "I'll say there's a problem! It's not enough that I get poofed to the spirit dimension and forced to give birth to the king and to marry _you_! I wake up just after giving birth, not knowing where the fuck I am…and you are nowhere to be found while I'm feeling like hell, don't know where the fuck I am. I'm having people telling me what to do…and refusing to let me do things for myself. I have some kid trying to wash my ass for me and offering me a massage and to ask you a fucking question or two has to be approved by your damned elders!"

Byakuya had long ago learned to sift through the foul language, attitude and words to see what was beneath it, but for some reason, he barely heard anything past when Renji had complained about being married to him. So, where he would have opened his mouth to reassure Renji that he had access if he wanted it, essentially anytime he wanted it, he only stared, something rising in his chest that felt like pain.

Unfortunately for both, Renji took his silence to mean something wholly different and it only increased his anger.

"Aren't you going to say something, Captain? Anything at all? I mean…shit…You seemed like a real person for a while there. In the spirit dimension, you were actually kinda decent…human, if you overlook the fact you knew everything and didn't say a damned thing to me about it. What's the matter? I don't have a say? My opinion doesn't mean shit and you don't want to deal with my emotional outbursts? Well, FUCK THAT! Fuck all of that!"

"Perhaps we should have some tea and talk about this calmly," Byakuya suggested.

Renji's eyes only flared hotter and Byakuya was surprised that, despite not enjoying being on the receiving end of that temper, he felt enamored of Renji's fighting spirit. It didn't matter that it was exploding right there in front of him and could possibly do him harm. Renji was, he suddenly realized, _incredibly beautiful_…and that beauty was quickly overtaking the noble's senses and threatening to make him speechless. And all at once, all of the things that had worked between them before weren't working. Renji was enraged and instead of being annoyed, Byakuya was strangely _touched_, _affected_, _overtaken_.

_Why? Why do I feel this way? What is this?_

"What did you say?" Renji said, the fury practically bleeding out of him, "What the hell did you say? You want to have tea and conversation? My life is in shambles around my fucking ears and you want to have TEA? What the hell is WRONG with you, Captain? Are you hearing anything I'm saying?"

"Y-you…you said that you were upset when you woke and I wasn't there. And that you didn't appreciate the environment you found yourself in," Byakuya said, hoping it would quell some of that anger if Renji knew that he was, in fact, listening.

He was taken by surprise at how little difference it seemed to make…

"Well, look who finally dug his head out of his paperwork and decided to pay attention!" Renji raged on, "Look, I know we don't have a choice about being married now. I get that. And I get that you're this high and mighty clan leader and I'm not good enough to lick the shit off your shoes. I get all of that. But why couldn't you ask me before having my apartment emptied and people replacing all of my clothes? I mean, I know my apartment sucks compared to your fucking mansion, my clothes aren't tailored and they have stains and my place is cluttered, but you can't just expect me to move right into your house and completely forget who I am!"

"I wasn't suggesting you should," Byakuya said, barely keeping the tremor out of his voice.

"You…what? No, I guess you weren't SUGGESTING. There was no suggesting about it! You just strong-armed your way into my life, turned it upside down and went back to your own fucking existence, as if none of it had happened!"

"I…" Byakuya said, his eyes widening, "What?"

"You had no right to just empty out my apartment like that! No right to look down on what I had…my things…just because they weren't tailored and pressed. That apartment was MY PLACE! The things in it belonged to me!" Renji yelled.

"Renji…I admit that I did send my servants to move your things out of your apartment, but…and…I did ask them to provide you with suitable attire for the manor, but…"

He stopped, wondering when he had stopped feeling like he was in control of the situation.

"But what?" Renji went on, "What argument could you possibly have for not even asking me? What?"

"You were unconscious…and we were going home. I thought that it might ease your transition if there were some familiar things around you."

Renji paused as the words spun in his head and processed for a moment.

"Look," he said, dropping into the chair beside Byakuya's desk, "maybe that's not a load of bullshit you're trying to feed me. Maybe you just don't 'get' me. I mean, we come from two very different worlds. But, come on! Put yourself in my shoes for a minute and tell me that you wouldn't be pissed if someone did this kinda shit to you!"

Byakuya looked into the heated brown eyes and thought carefully.

"I imagine that I would encounter many of the same emotions you are. That's why I left you alone."

"What?" Renji said, looking mystified.

"Renji…you were angry with me for nearly the entire time we were in the spirit dimension. You told me to stay away from you, and I did. But it only seemed to make you more angry. And when we came back, I thought you would want the same…for me to stay away from you. I was trying to do what you asked me to…"

Renji stared.

"You really thought that leaving me alone to face leaving my whole life behind was a good thing? Really? And look at you! You are living in the same house, dressed in the same clothes, with all of your servants doing everything for you. You _have_ your powers…and your body still looks like the one you had before…and you don't feel like your guts are gonna fall out…So tell me, _Captain_, how in the fuck has _any_ of this really affected you? Because from where I sit, I am the one who gave up everything…who has to learn to cope…whose life is changed beyond all recognition. I don't see that your life has changed at all. As long as you sweep me under the rug, keep me out of the way, things can go back to normal and you can forget that anything's changed, right? Do you hear me? Are you getting me now?"

Byakuya took a slow breath, both to maintain calm and to give him time for thought.

"I admit that you have been forced to make great changes in your life, Renji…and I apologize for acting in ways that made your transition more difficult. But you are wrong when you say that my life has not been affected. Just as you have made sacrifices to be with me, I have made sacrifices too."

Renji rolled his eyes.

"What? What kind of sacrifices? What, you have to tolerate my existence in your perfect mansion? You have to find a way to include me in your life without me causing too much trouble or making too much noise?"

"I am your spouse. That means…"

"It doesn't mean _shit_, Captain! We didn't want that…didn't choose it…and we aren't honoring it. It's a fucking joke…"

"I am willing to honor my role as your life partner, Renji."

Renji shrugged.

"How…by disappearing entirely and leaving me on my own to deal with everything?" he asked wearily.

Byakuya sighed.

"Gomen nasai, I was wrong to do that. I know that now. If you wish, I will come home with you and I would be happy to explain anything that makes you uncomfortable…and why things are in place the way they are…"

"But that won't make this a marriage, Captain," Renji said, the anger fading and his shoulders slumping, "We are just stuck with each other. We don't love each other and we're never going to. We can't complete ourselves by finding the right person, because we are fucking tied together at the soul and have no choices. Hell…I don't know about you, but I am really going to miss having sex…"

Byakuya swallowed hard.

"I will have sex with you, if you wish it," he said quietly.

Renji stared at him in surprise.

"Renji, we may not have chosen this…and I admit that I may not be able to please you the way someone else would…but when our souls were bound and I was married to you, it did mean something…and it did change my life, too. And if you wish for me to please you sexually, all you have to do is to ask."

"Really…" muttered the redhead, looking unconvinced, "Then prove it. Because I think you're just saying that because you think I won't take you up on it. I think this is a load of horse shit and you are lying through your teeth…"

Byakuya closed his eyes and let out a long, shivering breath. He reached up silently and removed the kenseiken from his hair, setting it down gently on the desk. His pale hands unwound the ginpaku kazahana no uzuginu and it joined the kenseiken. He came to his feet, his mind spinning as he slipped the haori off of his shoulders, then he looked into Renji's eyes.

"I may be a clan leader and a captain, but I am also your life partner. I will talk to you…listen to you…and I will meet your needs…be they basic, emotional or sexual. That is what being a life partner is."

Renji gazed into the dark, smoky eyes, still searching for a sign that he was bluffing…putting up a front…saying what Renji wanted to hear to prove a point. But Byakuya looked to him to be completely serious. Still…there was only one way to know for sure…

Renji reached out and took his hand, then turned and started towards the hallway. And just to make his point clear, he turned his life partner, not into the captain's quarters, but into his own smaller vice captain's quarters. Byakuya looked up at him in surprise for a moment, but then his eyes registered understanding and he stepped into Renji's room, shivering at the sound of the door closing behind him. He walked silently to the bed and stood, looking down at it, his heart pounding painfully at the thought of what was about to happen. Then suddenly, Renji was standing in front of him and he felt his mind freeze. The dark brown eyes held his…probing him…looking for any sign that he would not go through with it. Byakuya looked back with forced calm, while his emotions flared painfully beneath his skin. Renji moved closer, his hands moving to rest on each side of the noble's face. Renji's lips closed in on his and Byakuya closed his eyes, his breath shortening. He waited, but nothing happened.

"Open your eyes," Renji said in a low voice, "I want to know you're with me."

Byakuya forced his eyes open and warily met Renji's. The redhead moved forward and brought their lips together, fully expecting that Byakuya would pull away…or at least flinch…_something_ to prove him right. But even though the noble's eyes held uncertainty, his mouth met Renji's firmly…and he didn't just allow the redhead to kiss him, he kissed back. Renji was surprised at how damned good it felt, to look into that pretty, placid face, those smoldering eyes and kiss him like that. It made him want more. And Renji decided that if he was to know the truth of Byakuya's intent, he had to continue. He pushed his tongue between Byakuya's startled lips and curled his tongue around the noble's, stroking it into submission, then moving on to explore the surprisingly sweet depths around it. Byakuya's eyes were closed again, but his body had lost the heavy tension that had been there before, and as Renji continued to kiss him, he leaned into the redhead's embrace, startling Renji and making him pull away in surprise. He stared for a moment, then decided to push things farther.

He reached for the tie at the noble's waist and felt his body tighten in response. He said nothing, however, and stood quietly as Renji slowly deprived him of piece after piece of his uniform…until Byakuya stood, naked and silent in front of a still, fully dressed Renji. He let his eyes run over that perfect, white body, feeling as he did how exposed and unnatural the noble felt. He was nearing his breaking point, Renji thought, so it was time to call Byakuya Kuchiki's bluff.

"Kneel."

Byakuya inhaled sharply.

Renji looked at the noble's stunned expression and shook his head.

"You can't do it, can you?" he asked, "It's all just a lie."

Byakuya stared back at him for several uncomfortable minutes, then slowly, so slowly it shocked Renji, he lowered himself onto his knees. Renji looked down at him, still aching to prove his point, but not sure he could say the words. He was being unusually cruel, but then, if Byakuya was bluffing, then the cruelty was needed to prove it. He took a breath to force the words out, then had his breath taken away as the noble's soft, shaking hands moved his clothing out of the way and the pristine, untried mouth wrapped around his cock. Now it was Renji's turn to freeze. He stared down at the kneeled form in front of him, the lovely fall of raven hair, the sweet, pliant lips that wrapped around his surprisingly responsive arousal. He felt the warm action of Byakuya's tongue against his shaft as he moved up and down that length repeatedly. The effect was overwhelming. Women had done this to Renji, but he hadn't expected that a man's mouth could be so perfect. He didn't know _how_ having Byakuya do this was so different, only that it was…and that feeling of difference was surging through him, taking over, making him forget what he had come into his room to do. He reached down and dragged Byakuya away from his cock, then pushed him down onto the bed. Somehow, his clothes disappeared from his body and he brought himself down onto the noble's strong back, letting his head curl around one shoulder so he could taste that wonderful mouth again. He kissed that sweet mouth with bruising intensity, forcing his tongue inside again and devouring everything he found there. And while he was buried in Byakuya's mouth, he slid a hand down the noble's entrapped torso and wrapped it around his surprisingly thick and damp member. He heard Byakuya give a soft, almost frightened sounding moan and he began to thrust into Renji's hand.

Renji wasn't sure why, but the simple fact of Byakuya allowing this…kissing him back…kneeling at his feet…sucking him off like a whore and leaving himself completely open set off a reaction in his body…and all he wanted to do then was to take that last step, to bury his cock in that tight, perfect ass and claim it as his own.

He might never have been with a man before Byakuya, but he knew he had to be careful. He remembered well enough how it felt to be taken roughly, and the point wasn't to hurt Byakuya, but to push him to the point of admitting that he couldn't go through with it.

The problem was, it looked like Byakuya was telling the truth…

But Renji couldn't stand it anymore. It felt too damned good, sucking on Byakuya's mouth, pumping his cock and listening to the growing sounds of pleasure. He wet his fingers in the noble's mouth and slowly pushed one inside him. He figured that once Byakuya realized he was going to go all of the way, he would break down, apologize…admit that Renji had been right and that he didn't see their marriage as being 'real.' But as Renji carefully prepared him, Byakuya rested calmly beneath him, not making a sound now, but shaking softly. Renji wondered if he should stop and force Byakuya to admit everything, but stopping would give the noble a chance to deny it. No…he had to take Byakuya.

He pushed the noble's legs apart and moved into position, aware now that his breathing was short and erratic, and his body was shivering uncontrollably. He pushed in slowly, to be sure he wouldn't cause unnecessary pain, but felt the body beneath his tighten and heard a soft, pained cry. He rested on Byakuya's back, his face buried in sakura scented hair until the heavy trembling calmed and the tightness around his cock eased. He began thrusting slowly, continuing to run his hand up and down the noble's length, listening to the soft, half hidden sounds he made and feeling unexpectedly touched that he was really reaching Byakuya now. His doubts were beginning to fall away and with every thrust, he grew in confidence that somehow…somehow things would be all right between them. He shifted the angle of his body and tightened his hand around Byakuya's length, thrusting in as deeply as he could and feeling the sudden shock of pleasure that raked the body underneath his as Renji's cock found the bundle of sensitive nerves inside and struck that place hard and fast. Byakuya's body quivered and Renji heard a choked sob of pleasure as warm fluid pulsed out onto his hand. He held himself inside Byakuya's body, sending his own hot release into the noble's core, then he fell against his back, feeling weak as a baby and relieved of much of his anger…and…_guilty_.

Byakuya lay beneath him, having already caught his breath. He said nothing and was looking away from Renji. And Renji realized then that Byakuya had been telling the truth when he said that their union was a life partnership and that he was willing to make changes and sacrifices too. And suddenly Renji was confused…

He slid out of Byakuya's body and stood. Byakuya didn't move, but simply remained lying on his stomach with his head turned…and Renji could see the flush on his skin.

_Damn…so much for him being a liar…and so much for not hurting him…_

And then he didn't think he could get away fast enough. He dressed quickly and walked to the door. He didn't look back. He didn't want to see.

"All right," he said quietly, "I believe you. And don't worry. I won't make you do that again. I just needed to know that you meant what you said. I'm going down the street to have a quick drink and I'll see you at home, then. I think we really need to talk about this. Being married is going to be complicated."

He walked out with every intention of not going back. He ignored the soft, clipped sob that sounded as he closed the door behind him. He got halfway down the street before his conscience got the best of him and he turned back. But when he got back to his room, he found it empty. And he wasn't in the captain's quarters. Renji went back and sat down on the bed in his quarters, feeling the warmth where Byakuya's body had lain. He noticed something odd about the pillow and looked closer.

_Tears? I hurt him that badly? Oh kami, what the fuck did I just do?_

A sick feeling welled up inside him and he ran to the bathroom, retching until there was nothing left inside him. He knelt on the floor, trying to remember the last expression he saw on the noble's face.

_He was scared. I made Byakuya Kuchiki scared. And then I hurt him…and the funny, sick joke in all of this is that I was afraid he was going to hurt me! Oh shit…shit…shit…_

He forced himself onto his feet and ran out of the sixth division. He wasn't sure where Byakuya would go, but he figured it would be best to start at the manor. He realized as he ran that he had seen most of Byakuya's clothes still in his quarters, which meant that Byakuya was running…wherever…in nothing but a thin, white yukata…and bare feet.

_Impossible…_

He reached the manor and yelled for Michio.

"He…he came through here just a minute ago," the pale faced servant said, "He went through the gardens and out the back gate, towards the family cemetery."

And suddenly, sickness raked Renji again.

_Oh holy shit! I should have known…_

He passed Torio without a word and skidded to a stop, staring at the ungodly sight of Byakuya lying facedown on his wife's grave, silent sobs shaking him from end to end. He felt numbness taking over inside.

_I was stupid to think for a moment that this was going to work. He doesn't want me and he never will. He's still mourning her…and he'll just keep on like that, because that's what you do when you love someone and they die and leave you…_

Renji couldn't stand to see it anymore. He turned and walked back to the manor with Michio at his side, quietly allowed himself to be bathed and put back to bed, then he cried himself to sleep like a baby.

_We're not going to make it. We can't make this work…_

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya lay on Hisana's grave, the heat of Renji's release still burning inside him.

_It felt so good…so damned good, but it's wrong…it is. I thought I loved you. When we were married, I promised to always love you. I promised to love you above all others, and I have never been tempted to think anyone else could reach my heart. But I know what I just felt. I wanted to feel anger…distance…numbness. But instead I feel full…complete, like all of a sudden I'm alive again and I can breathe after letting myself fall into death beside you, Hisana. And it doesn't mean I love you any less. It's like what you said before you died and left me…that there would be someone to take the weight of loneliness away…that just as I came into your life, picked you up off the ground and rescued you from Inuzuri, someone would rescue me from my grief. You were right, Hisana. There is still hope. Love didn't die with you…it still exists…and I am starting to feel it again. But I keep making mistakes. I don't know what to do to make things right. I thought giving in to him like that would make him less angry, would make him want to…I don't know…but all it did was make us both more confused. He went off to drown his sorrows and all I can think of is that I've failed both Renji and you. Hisana I've never needed you like this. I need to know what you think I should do. Tell me what to do, because I don't know anymore…_

Byakuya felt a raindrop strike his half-turned face and felt sudden understanding. And abandoning every last bit of his pride, he surrendered to tears completely.


	8. The Vigil

**Chapter 8: The Vigil**

Torio watched in silent dismay as Byakuya turned his head aside and let the rain join the tears on his face. He lay in the wet grass on Hisana's grave, his hair and yukata hanging limply and his eyes frighteningly glazed over. The attendant moved forward cautiously, his eyes glued on the man ahead of him, who rested quietly, ignoring the rain that poured down on, and all around him.

"S-sir," he said, his voice trembling, "we m-must go inside. It's so cold…and it's raining, sir. Lord Kuchiki, please…"

The servant shifted uncomfortably, looking around at the dark cemetery and shivering, even in his warm clothes. He stepped forward, slipping the cloak from his shoulders and laying it over Byakuya. He dropped to his knees next to the noble and touched his shoulder lightly.

"Come back to the manor," he said softly, "I will make you some tea. You will feel better once you are warm and dry again. Sir?"

Byakuya only continued to rest on the rain soaked grass, breathing slowly and acting as though he hadn't heard.

"Is something wrong with Lord Byakuya, Torio?" asked a voice from somewhere behind Byakuya's attendant.

Torio turned to see Head Councilor Nori approaching. Instantly, the youth was on his feet again. He bowed briefly.

"My apologies, sir," he said, his voice shaking, "Lord Kuchiki was at work, but returned suddenly and came out here. Something has upset him greatly…I'm not sure what…"

The head councilor smiled bracingly and handed the boy his umbrella. Torio accepted it and held it over the two nobles as Nori knelt next to Byakuya and brushed the tangle of hair away from his face.

"Lord Byakuya," he said quietly, "Let me help you back to the manor."

He wrapped an arm around Byakuya and helped him into a seated position. Byakuya blinked several times and seemed to regain his senses somewhat. He responded more quickly as Nori stood and pulled him to his feet.

"I will be fine, now," he assured the elder.

He turned with Torio, walking alongside Nori and the attendant like a silent specter, looking down at the water that dripped from the flower petals and that ran down the long blades of grass.

_How can it be that it took me so long to truly let the grief come out? I have become so good at holding it in that I have not, in the whole time since Hisana's death, shed a tear for her passing. Now, having forced them out, it opens a space inside me where she used to be…a place for another love to fill. Before, there was no room for anyone else…but finally facing the loss of her internally, it is possible for me to move on. It was something I thought I had done, but until now, I was simply submerging the emotion. It took Renji to open that tightly closed door._

But Renji still doesn't love me…

And Byakuya, though opened to the emotion had a long way to go to fully grow into the love that Renji had awakened inside him…

_Thank you, Hisana. I didn't realize that after all of this time so much of me was still refusing to let go. I will always hold on to what was most beautiful between us. But now I can move forward. I hope you will remain with me and help me as you just did. I want to make my relationship with Renji work. But I just keep making him angry. It was anger that drove him to do as he did, but even in his anger, he didn't try to inflict pain. In fact, he went out of his way to spare me that. And even though there was no love in his touches, there was hope that began to be built there. I don't know how to bring that hope to life, to build it into love, but I know now that it's possible._

Yet, just that small feeling of possibility was such a profound thing…if only he could make Renji understand…

"Torio," Byakuya said softly, "Has Renji returned to the manor?"

The attendant looked up in surprise.

"You…you didn't see him, sir?" he asked.

Byakuya shook his head briefly.

"H-he came to the cemetery…but…something was wrong. He stood and looked at you, but he didn't say anything, then he…just turned and walked back to the mansion."

Nori gave Byakuya a sympathetic look.

"It seems that your new marriage is wearing on you," he said, lowering his eyes, "I am sorry to hear that. We had hoped that despite the fact that the two of you were forced together against all of our wishes, that you would come to some sort of equilibrium. And I think you will. It will just take time. You have that…time to grow into your life together. And remember too that the pressure of providing an heir has been lifted for the time being."

"I do not care what the council of elders demands," Byakuya said in a low voice, "I will not give up until Renji and I are accorded the freedom to decide our own future."

"Come now," said Nori, "Let us leave that unpleasantness for the next council meeting. Right now, it is most important to get you back home…and to see you made warm and dry again. I know I could use a cup of hot tea. We can talk when you have been made comfortable."

Byakuya didn't answer, but nodded and continued walking towards the manor. The rain poured down around them and the cold made their breath turn to mist. By the time they reached the gate into the gardens, Byakuya's skin was numb where tears and rain had soaked it.

"Torio," Byakuya said quietly, "I want you to check in with Michio and see that Renji has been seen to. If Renji is awake, I will speak with him, but if he is asleep, I will see him in the morning."

"Hai," the youth said, bowing, then flash stepping towards Renji's room.

"It must have been quite a disagreement between you," Nori said, carefully choosing his words, "I know you will not wish to share the details, given your current dislike for the elders' interference in your personal life, but perhaps it would relieve some of the pressure if you loosed some of your concerns…"

"I have nothing to say to you about Renji. You are the last person I would turn to for either wisdom or comfort, Nori."

"I understand," said the elder, inclining his head, "but seeing as Renji is not here to lend his support and there is no one else suitable, I…"

"I want you to leave," Byakuya said in a low voice, "I have enough to contend with without your false sympathy and manipulations."

"Nonsense," said Nori, following Byakuya across the gardens and into his bedroom, "You can refuse to confide in me, of course, but at least allow me to make sure you are taken care of…"

"I have Torio to care for me…"

"Did you need me, sir?" Torio asked from the doorway.

"In a moment," Byakuya replied, "First tell me, is Renji seen to?"

"He is sleeping," Torio said, nodding, "but Michio says he is feverish and seems uncomfortable."

"Then go and bring Hanatarou at once," Byakuya said quickly, turning to leave the room.

Nori set a hand on his shoulder and Byakuya's eyes flicked towards him, flaring softly.

"What are you about?" he asked sharply.

"Just wait a moment," Nori answered, watching as Torio left the room, "Before you go to watch over him, because we both know that's what you are going to do, I insist on helping you out of these wet things and into something dry. Michio can manage Renji for that long."

"No, I…"

Byakuya caught his breath sharply as a shock of kido blazed through him and he started to fall. He realized angrily that nothing of that sort would have overcome him if he hadn't carelessly allowed himself to become so distracted by Renji's illness. The room went dark around him and the last thing he felt was Nori's hands catching him and lowering him onto the bed.

Nori sent Byakuya into a deep sleep, then removed his wet clothing. As he brought a fresh yukata and set it in place, his hands brushed against Byakuya's skin and he looked down in surprise.

"You were _with_ him? Hmmm, I imagined there had to have been something to start such a fight, but…"

He paused, staring at the clan leader more carefully and bringing his hands to rest on Byakuya's abdomen.

"Ah…so careful not to take him yet…but quite careless to allow yourself to be taken. Then again, you didn't know I would lay hands on you and find out about this. Neither will you know anything has been done until it is too late. Your objections are about to become meaningless, Lord Byakuya. If you will not compel your spouse to bless the clan with an heir, then you, yourself will carry the heir…"

He bowed his head and focused deeply, keeping his hands resting on Byakuya's abdomen. Blue light flared around them, encircling the two as Nori breathed the ancient words to bind Byakuya's reiatsu to the reiatsu present in Renji's seed. He waited, still sending his power into the unconscious noble's body, carefully crafting the internal chamber to house the heir. He sent the bound reiatsu into the chamber, then thoroughly erased and masked the signs of his use of power. He let his power fall away and tied Byakuya's yukata back into place, then withdrew from him as footsteps sounded on the walkway outside. Nori flash stepped out the inner door as Torio and Hanatarou entered through the garden doors.

"Lord Kuchiki!" Torio said, flash stepping to the bed and leaning over the noble, "Hanatarou…he's unconscious!"

Hanatarou moved quickly to the noble's side.

"He's all right," the healer assured him, "He is only in a rather deep sleep. His reiatsu is somewhat disturbed, so it's probably good he is sleeping well."

"Are you sure?" the attendant asked worriedly, "He was very worried about Master Abarai. I didn't think he would sleep willingly. Do you think that perhaps Councilor Nori might have made him sleep?"

"Hmmm…" said Hanatarou, "I can't really tell because of the erratic nature of Captain Kuchiki's reiatsu. But as I said, he will be fine. I should go and see to Vice Captain Abarai."

Torio gazed unhappily at Byakuya, feeling something just wasn't right, but eventually gave a heavy sigh and followed the healer out of the room.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji couldn't remember ever waking so early in the morning, and he had a sense that if he had to do so on a daily basis, he would quickly lose his mind. He was still so tired, he could barely open his eyes. And even if he hadn't made them ache by crying himself to sleep as he had, there was a chill behind them that seemed to permeate his whole body. He shook with inescapable cold…cold like he hadn't felt since his days on the streets of Inuzuri during the dead of winter. This, he thought, was cold akin to that. It seemed strange that he should feel so cold while wrapped in such warm blankets. And strangely, his skin seemed to burn painfully, despite the cold inside. It confused him.

The door opened and Michio stepped into the room. Renji wasn't sure what had brought him, but was inwardly thankful. He tried to raise his head to greet the dark haired youth, but couldn't manage it. His head swam and all that came out was an uncomfortable groan. Michio reached his side and leaned over him, looking concerned.

"Master Abarai," he said in a soft, worried tone, "Are you feeling worse?"

Renji managed a short nod, but even that took so much out of him that he started to lose awareness.

"I will summon Hanatarou," Michio said, but Renji was too far gone to answer.

He sensed others enter the room and felt the cold increase as the blankets were pulled away and he was quickly examined and wrapped up again. Healing energy poured into him, easing what pain there was, but his mind became fuzzy and dull, and he lost track of where he was, who was with him and what the hell was happening. Odd sensations flashed inside him, flares of heat and ice, pulses and stings of pain. He heard himself saying things, but he wasn't sure whether or not he made sense.

Somewhere in the midst of all of that confusion, he felt a familiar presence enter the room and settle at his side. As his awareness came and went, always that presence remained with him. There were gentle touches on his face and hands, a cool cloth brushed against his skin…and the light scent of sakura broke through the darkness, keeping him poised on the edge of blackness, but held just away.

"Rest quietly now, Renji," Byakuya's voice told him, "You have endured too much all at once and you need to give your body time to restore itself. Hanatarou said that you will recover fully, but you must sleep."

He felt the soft touch of Byakuya's hand on his face and faded away. He drifted in and out of awareness, hearing voices that sounded quietly in his room or just outside…Byakuya's, Torio's, Michio's, Hanatarou's and Rukia's. He tried to hear what they said, both to each other and to him, but everything seemed too garbled and distant to make any kind of sense. He heard Byakuya make a sound of deep concern and issue orders for Michio to go for Captain Unohana. There was more deep silence and the feel of that soft, trembling hand holding his again, that familiar voice pulling him back out of the darkness again.

"I need you to stay here," Byakuya said, a soft insistence in his voice that was completely unfamiliar, "We may have had a difficult beginning, but if you will only let yourself get well, I will make things right between us. I know you're angry with me…and that you think I'm impossible to love…but don't be without hope. We'll make this work. We will. Just don't leave. We cannot resolve anything if you lose hope. I will only follow you into death…"

And then he remembered…

_That's right. The soul bonding means that where one of us goes, the other follows. And as bad as things are, I don't want us to die…_

He relaxed into Byakuya's voice and let it carry him back into sleep.

"He's looking better, I think, sir," he heard Michio say.

There was more silence, then as he spun in and out of hearing, Torio's voice sounded softly from somewhere nearby.

"Please, Lord Kuchiki, you haven't eaten or slept in days! Please sir, you must rest…or at least have something to restore yourself…"

"Silence," said Byakuya calmly, "go and see to your other responsibilities…"

"But sir…"

"Now, Torio."

He forced his eyes open and looked up into the noble's tired expression.

"C-captain," he managed in a whisper, "You should listen to Torio. I'm…f-fine. I'll be fine."

"Shh," Byakuya, "I don't need you telling me what to do. Sleep, Renji."

He gazed up at Byakuya and read the stubbornness…and the look of concern.

"You won't listen to anyone, will you? You won't let them help you at all. B-but…it isn't about me, is it?"

"What?" Byakuya asked softly.

"It's not about me. It brings back bad memories, I know. But don't worry, I'm not weak. I will be fine. I don't need you here, wasting your time and energy watching over me. Go with Torio. I want you to leave."

Byakuya stared for a moment.

"You don't know what you're saying," he managed finally.

"Yes…I do. You're just afraid, b-because it reminds you of her. It isn't about me at all, is it?"

"I don't know what you mean. Renji…I do remember, of course. But I am here because you are ill and I am your life partner. We are supposed to care for each other."

"I told you before. This marriage is not real. We are not together. We may have been soul bonded, but we are not in love, Captain…and you have to understand…we never will be. You still love her. I understand. But I can't love someone who can only love me with half a heart."

Byakuya went silent for several minutes.

"This isn't the time for this conversation," he said, when he found his voice again, "We can talk later…when you are well. For now, please stop saying such things and let me take care of you."

"N-no," Renji said, raising himself slightly and pushing Byakuya's hands away, "I said…I…want you to leave."

"Renji…"

"Go…please, just go…"

"Why do you keep doing this, Renji?" he asked in a wounded voice, "You tell me to leave, even though I know that's not what you want. I can feel it. And if I do leave, you will only be angry with me for doing so. It was that way in the spirit dimension also. You're pushing me away for a reason…and as much as you say that the reason is that you cannot love me, I feel that there is more to this. So…this time, I'm not listening to your words. I am staying here…and nothing you say will make me leave. If you want me out of here, then you have to get well and throw me out, because that is the only way I will go."

"St-stubborn ass!" Renji hissed.

He thought he must have been dreaming, because after hearing something like that, Byakuya couldn't actually be smiling…

"You call me stubborn, Abarai? Really…I think you invented the concept."

Renji frowned and sighed in frustration.

"Fine…stay then, if you want. But stop making your attendant so upset. Lie down with me…b-before you fall down…"

He almost smiled at the look of surprise on the noble's face.

"You…just told me to leave," Byakuya said slowly, "Now, you want me to lie down with you?"

"Well," said Renji, closing his eyes, "You won't leave…and you're scaring the hell out of Torio, letting yourself get so run down. You're not giving me much of a choice. So, lie down…"

"Don't be ridiculous," Byakuya muttered, "You don't want me there…and if I did join you, you would only accuse me of taking advantage of your illness. I am fine."

"Fuck that," Renji said, ire making some of his strength return, "Lie down with me before you make me kill myself grabbing you and pulling you down…"

"As though you could…"

Byakuya gazed down at his heaving chest and flushed face for a moment longer, then shook his head and moved to join him.

"Ah, kami," groaned Renji, "You're warm…ah…feels warmer now…"

"Well, at least there is something I can do without stoking your anger…"

"I didn't say I wasn't angry," Renji countered, trying not to let his teeth chatter, "It's just that I need the heat right now. Tomorrow, we have this out…"

Byakuya nodded and wrapped his body around Renji's.

"Tomorrow then," he whispered, closing his eyes.


	9. Equilibrium

**Chapter 9: Equilibrium**

Renji opened his eyes and found himself looking at the rare sight of Byakuya sleeping. While it had happened sometimes on the battlefield at night that Byakuya would fall asleep while looking up at the stars and Renji would pass close enough to see the contented, relaxed expression, there was something very different about finding that serene, and surprisingly soft face rested on his chest, the smoky, gray eyes hidden beneath closed eyelids and his sakura scented hair raining down around his shoulders and gently brushing against Renji's skin as he breathed. The redhead took a slow breath and let the thought settle in his mind.

Prior to being taken into the spirit dimension, he would have admitted readily that, for a man, Byakuya was as coldly beautiful as he was dangerous. But it would have had a different meaning then because he had never considered Byakuya, or any man in a sexual way. His interests had been in women…but, he realized, he had been of the mind all along that love could happen between people of the same gender. Love, he thought, was something discovered and made to grow, rather than something one decided. The decision was really, whether to let it grow…or to let it go. And now, letting go wasn't an option. But growing wasn't going to happen unless both of them worked at it. And as much as he felt the potential for love, he wasn't at all sure Byakuya would put forth the effort.

_I don't know a lot about his relationship with Hisana…just what he told Rukia that day at the Sokyoku. She must have meant a lot to him for him to defy his elders and to marry her, then to honor her wishes and to bring Rukia into the family. But his defiance really ends there. All I've seen since then is the way he works quietly behind the scenes to protect Rukia…but that he still doesn't openly defy them. He is still committed to his promises, but does that mean that he is still too connected to her to be open to anyone else? The way he acted after we were together makes it seem that way. And yet…if Hisana was his only love and he has only given himself to someone he loves…maybe his reaction had more to do with the way things happened, the fact that it wasn't for love. If Hisana was his only sexual partner, then having sex as an obligation in a loveless marriage would hurt…yeah…it would hurt like hell…but…_

He realized quite suddenly that Byakuya's eyes had opened and were observing him with curiosity. It also struck him that he had never seen Byakuya this relaxed…sleepy eyed and with his hair tumbled and loose around his shoulders like that. And he had never felt the warmth that was radiating between them as they rested in each other's arms, looking at one another, each wondering where to begin…and neither looking forward to unpleasantness.

"Are you feeling better?" Byakuya asked finally, "You look much improved."

"I feel like hell," Renji admitted, guessing that honesty was best, "but at least I don't feel like I'm dying anymore."

"And you are…warm enough?"

Renji nodded.

Byakuya took a breath and cleared his throat, then carefully disentangled himself from the redhead.

"Where are you going?" Renji asked, catching a pale hand as Byakuya rose.

"I am going to summon Michio…to give you a bath to remove the sweat from your fever, then he will bring you something to eat."

"And what will you be doing while I'm being bathed and fed? I mean…weren't we supposed to have things out?" Renji asked, frowning.

Byakuya let out an amused breath.

"Come now, Renji," he said quietly, "You've known me long enough to know that I would never take on a worthy opponent while he was only in possession of half his wits."

Renji sat up too quickly, his rising annoyance almost eclipsing the shock of dizziness.

"Whoa…hold on! Did you just call me _weak_…or just _witless_?"

"Neither," said the noble, blinking slowly, "I merely said that proper rules of engagement demand that you be at full strength before we address our issues."

He loosed his hand from Renji's and turned away.

"Don't married people bathe and eat together?" Renji asked, stopping Byakuya as he reached the doorway.

There was a long silence and Renji could feel the intense turning of the noble's thoughts.

"If both parties are amenable," Byakuya said, without looking back, "I have no objection if that is what you wish."

"What do _you_ want?" Renji asked.

There was another long pause, then a soft sigh.

"Peace, Renji. We haven't any choice about being married. And that being so, I would like to be at peace with you. I don't wish to waste time arguing over every aspect of our union…the wrongness of it, the unfairness of it, or that it's one person's fault or the other. There is little use in anything that doesn't move us forward and I find it a waste of time to sit still arguing about useless matters while life passes by. There are better uses for our time."

"No, baka," Renji said, almost smiling, "Do you want to bathe and eat with me?"

The reiatsu around Byakuya darkened threateningly for a moment and the eye that looked back over one shoulder glared at Renji in an all too familiar fashion.

"I indicated that I had no objection to it," Byakuya said, still glaring, "Do I need to say it again?"

"No," said Renji, turning and sliding his legs over the edge of the bed, "because you still aren't answering the question I asked you. I didn't ask if you were open to the idea. I asked if you wanted to join me…"

Byakuya let out a puff of breath and narrowed his eyes.

"What is the difference?" he asked, turning to face the redhead, "It's the same question either way."

Renji shook his head.

"No, it's not," he said, looking the noble square in the eyes, "Being open to something doesn't mean that you want it. I'm asking you if you want to go to the bathing room alone with me, undress and bathe each other, then share breakfast together after."

Renji stifled a laugh at the odd, confused expression that crossed Byakuya's face, then disappeared as swiftly as it had emerged.

"Why are you _asking_ me this?" the noble said in an annoyed tone.

Now Renji loosed a soft laugh and watched in amusement as Byakuya's eyes flared.

"I'm asking because if you are just _open_ to the idea, but don't actually _want_ to, then it is an obligation, not a sincere thing. I don't want to obligate you. I offered an invitation. I'll ask again, do you want to join me for a bath and some breakfast, Captain?"

Byakuya's eyes widened slightly and his nostrils flared. His lips tightened for a moment and Renji held his breath. The noble's chest heaved softly with something between anger and escalating hope.

"One condition," he said firmly, "You are not to call me _Captain_ unless we are at work. Otherwise it is _Byakuya_. I won't have my spouse calling me _that_! Hisana constantly called me Lord Byakuya and I found it nearly obscene…"

He trailed off and dropped his gaze. Renji forced down the discomfort that hearing about his former wife carried with it. Hisana was his former lover, but Renji had had other lovers too…and he wasn't going to get anywhere with Byakuya if he flinched at every mention of her name. It was a credit to Byakuya that he loved her enough to remember…and if they were successful in making their union work, then soon enough, _his_ name would be the one on Byakuya's lips. And, he reminded himself, the idea wasn't to make him forget her, but to make his own place in the noble's heart. It wouldn't be easy. Byakuya was proving quite consistently that entrance into his heart was not easily gained, but suddenly, faced with no escape route and the intrigue of sliding beneath that impenetrable surface Byakuya projected, Renji found himself embracing the idea.

"Hey," he said, stepping forward, "don't look so upset. It doesn't bother me if you talk about her. She was married to you. That should mean something."

"But I don't wish to make you uncomfortable…"

Renji couldn't stop the bubble of laughter that escaped him.

"Y-you…you don't want to make me…uncomfortable?" he managed, "Byakuya, this whole thing going on here is as uncomfortable as hell for both of us! I don't think we have the luxury of worrying about comfort. How about we forget that and just focus on what to do next. I believe I've patiently asked you the same question several times and you still haven't answered me!"

"But I have," Byakuya said quietly, reaching out and slipping a hand into his, "you merely missed it repeatedly because you were expecting me to say the words."

Now it was Renji's turn to encounter a moment of speechlessness. He gazed into the dark, calm eyes and caught the small quirk of the noble's lips as the impact of his words hit Renji. The redhead sighed and shook his head in annoyance.

"You're _impossible_!" he muttered, accepting Byakuya's hand and following him out the door.

As they moved down the walkway together, Torio and Michio peeked out of a doorway, watching. Michio started to step out of concealment, but was met with a staying touch on his arm.

"Wait," the youth said softly, "I think they should be left alone."

"But how do you know?" asked Michio.

"They look like they are getting along now. We should stay close, but let them be. We can always go to them if we are called."

Michio looked as though he wanted to argue, but only shook his head and followed Torio down the hallway.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya stepped into the bathing room and waited as Renji joined him, then closed the door behind them. They walked silently to the edge of the pool and stopped, both taking in the warmth of the room, the soft scent of flowers, the gentle blending of colors and everything else but the fact of what they were about to do. Byakuya dropped a hand to his waist, but found it captured by another. He looked up with inquisitive eyes and found Renji looking back at him with unexpected warmth. Biting his lip gently, he let his hand fall back to his side and allowed Renji to loose the tie at his waist and remove his yukata. He sensed then, the redhead's hesitation and tentatively reached for Renji's yukata, encountering no resistance as he removed it. They stepped out into the water side-by-side, wading in until they stood beneath the waterfall. They stared out at the grass and flowers, the sakura trees and the trail that led through them, taking in the beauty of the room and letting it wash over them in calm, peaceful waves.

Turning, they let the water run down their bodies. Byakuya looked around for the soap and flinched in surprise as Renji nudged him out from underneath the fall of water and began to work the soap into a lather on his skin. He held perfectly still, hardly breathing as the rough, calloused hands moved over shoulders and back, chest and abdomen, sliding down the curves of his body as though tracing them to seal them into his memory. It took Byakuya by surprise how good it felt being touched that way…a way wholly different than being bathed by Torio, and one that tread lightly on the edges of familiarity without falling over into blatant sexuality. He felt the tension in his body begin to retreat and actually settled into a more comfortable state as Renji turned him back under the waterfall and let his hands roam over the noble's skin, following the lather as it ran down his body and ran into the bathing pool. Byakuya sighed and leaned back against the redhead as he worked his fingers into the muscles of neck and shoulders.

"Relax," Renji breathed against the shell of an ear, sending a jolt through the noble's abdomen and making his heart quicken.

Byakuya drew a few slow, deep breaths and with each, settled more comfortably into Renji's arms, enjoying the feel of the hands that touched him. He was nearly asleep on his feet when Renji's fingers slipped into his hair and slowly worked the shampoo into a lather, then ran down the long strands as the water ran through them. He let the water wash over him until the last of the soap and shampoo was gone, then turned to Renji and fed the surprised redhead a light, gentle kiss of gratitude. He took the soap from his blushing spouse's hands began to return the favor.

Byakuya's hands brushed the wet strands of red hair away from Renji's eyes and he stood facing the redhead as he slowly worked his way down, rubbing the soap into a lather on the oddly unmarked skin and watching the emotions and reactions play over Renji's face. It was rare to see Renji in such a calm, quiet state and it wasn't lost on Byakuya that they had not spoken since they started bathing each other…except for Renji's admonition for him to relax. He continued to bathe Renji in silence, listening to the sound of the waterfall and breathing in the sweetness around them. He moved around the redhead and massaged his neck and shoulders, then set him beneath the water and watched the soap slide down his body and away. He worked shampoo into the thick red hair, then took a comb from the nearby stand and slowly sorted out the mess of tangles as Renji stood with the water running through the long strands. He surprised the redhead with very few pulls as he worked. Finally, both stood, fully clean and gazing quietly at each other. Renji bit his tongue lightly inside his mouth as he realized that both of them had become aroused from the intimate exchange. He paused for a moment, considering, then moved around behind Byakuya and pulled him back underneath the waterfall.

"What are you doing?" Byakuya asked softly.

"I want to touch you a bit, if that's okay," Renji breathed in his ear, resting his chin on the noble's shoulder.

Byakuya took a short breath and tensed slightly, but nodded.

Renji's hands slid down his abdomen again, but with a different feel to them this time. Where before, they had soothed and relaxed him, these touches made his breath shorten and his legs weaken. He rested his face against Renji's and closed his eyes as a finger found his navel and slipped inside for a moment, then Renji's hand continued downward and stroked the soft sac at the base of his growing length. The fingers roamed further and gently teased his entrance, then one pushed its way inside, earning a very soft, catching of breath and a light, barely audible sound of approval. Renji's other hand wrapped around his swelling arousal and moved slowly up and down, increasing gradually in speed and pressure as Byakuya's breath shortened and he moaned more insistently.

"You like it when I touch you like this?" Renji asked softly.

The answer was obvious, but he wanted to hear the words…

"Mmhmm…" the noble sighed.

"So…tell me how you want me to finish you…" he breathed hotly into Byakuya's ear, "with my hands…my mouth…or do you want to take this all of the way?"

He felt the sudden return of tension and the sense that there was more to the noble's response than anxiety or even shyness. Something was wrong…something they would need to deal with, but he wondered if now was the time. But almost as quickly as he had reacted, the tension disappeared and Byakuya forced out a clipped response.

"Let's just use our hands for now," he said, his voice shaking slightly, "I like the way your hands feel…"

Renji's lips tightened, but he let his own tension out in a sigh and nodded. He continued the movement of his hand up and down Byakuya's length and felt a shiver of delight as the noble thrust into his hand, rubbing his backside teasingly against Renji's swollen member and making him moan and pant hungrily as the deeply pleasant contact began to overtake both of them. The noble's breath hitched suddenly and his body quivered as spurts of warmth coated Renji's hand. Renji's hand released his length and took hold of his hip. The redhead thrust heatedly against the pleasantly soft skin of Byakuya's buttocks and lower back, moaning into his shoulder and hungrily seeking his mouth. The noble nipped at his lips, then met him open mouthed as Renji pressed his body against Byakuya's back and closed his eyes, hissing with pleasure as his release pulsed out and ran warmly down their bodies. Byakuya turned and pushed him back against the rocks beneath the waterfall, invading his mouth with an eager tongue and slowly exploring as their bodies relaxed and grew calm again. Several minutes passed before Byakuya released him and turned back to step under the waterfall again.

"Are you hungry?" Renji asked, joining him, "because I'm pretty much starving."

"That's because you've been sick and haven't eaten for about three days," Byakuya said dryly.

"Huh," Renji huffed, "You haven't eaten in all of that time, either."

"I was preoccupied."

"Yeah, well, that's over. I want something to eat before I collapse. So, are we finished here?"

Byakuya gave him an amused look.

"I imagine so," he replied, stepping out from underneath the waterfall and heading for the edge of the pool.


	10. Connections

**Chapter 10: Connections**

Renji followed Byakuya through the gardens and out the back gate, then the two turned right and followed a winding trail that led to the top of a large waterfall. The water spilled over a tall cliff and rained down into a huge blue lake that was surrounded by open grassland. Byakuya stopped at the top and sat down beneath a young sakura tree. Renji sat in front of him and gathered his thoughts, wondering how to begin the conversation that both knew was necessary.

"I'm not quite certain where to begin," Byakuya said, looking out over the cliff and watching the long grasses wave in the wind, "Our trip to the spirit dimension and our soul bonding happened very suddenly and it feels like only now that we've gotten an opportunity to step back and begin to survey the damage."

"Yeah," Renji agreed, following the noble's gaze, "Things are pretty jumbled. But even so…I think this isn't completely unworkable. I mean, we have worked well together in our squad. We had to learn to do that. We'll learn to do this too. I think that, knowing there's no way out of it, we'll find a way to make it work."

"It won't be easy," Byakuya said softly, "Settling into noble life when you are not accustomed to it can be difficult, even when you choose it…and you did not choose this…any of it…"

"Yeah, I was pretty much dragged in, kicking and screaming," Renji said, managing a smile.

"I am sorry that I did nothing to make the transition easier for you. I do see now how my unwillingness to share what I knew and my choice to absent myself make things more difficult. As I told you, I did think at the time that you would benefit from some familiarity in your surroundings when you woke…and I was attempting to give you some breathing space. It wasn't my intent to make you more uncomfortable."

Renji sighed and moved closer, enjoying the warmth that radiated between them.

"I guess I can understand your thinking, but I do hope you don't plan on just making decisions like that without even talking to me. I would like to have some say about things that affect my life."

Byakuya nodded.

"Understandable, but you have to realize that being clan leader, I have been trained to act without consulting others on everything. I am accustomed to leading and not having to argue the details. Clan leaders are expected to lead assertively and the members of the household to follow. Yet even in that definition, there is room for me to consult you about the things that most affect you…and I will do that. Just be aware that all such exchanges must be handled privately."

"Kind of like when we're in the squad office and have our differences. We air them privately so that I say what I need to say without interfering with the perception of you as the leader."

"Exactly," Byakuya said quietly, "Though I lead, there are balances to my power, the greatest of which is the Kuchiki council of elders."

"You mean the bunch of old guys that tries to tell you what to do?" Renji asked.

"They are responsible for making certain that the clan leader, while being in control of the clan, does not dishonor it with poor decisions or unacceptable behavior. We live by strict rules and the clan leader especially must obey them…because if I do not, I cannot expect that anyone else will."

"But you've gone up against them before, right? I mean, you married Hisana against their wishes…and you adopted Rukia too…"

"I did those things before my ascent to clan leader, Renji. And while I have led, I have been careful to remain within bounds, so as to present a united front, aligned with the council. It is important that our clan show its strength, or others will be quick to take advantage of our weaknesses."

"Huh," Renji huffed softly, "It sounds like how we act in front of our enemies…the hollows, I mean. Always showing our strength, not letting them see any weaknesses. Are clan relations really that adversarial?"

"They can be," Byakuya acknowledged, "Remember that the Kuchiki clan is the most powerful of the four great noble houses. But when you sit on a pedestal like that, you should expect that there will be those who will try to unseat you. It is the way of things."

"So…what do you do when another clan challenges you?"

"Most often, such challenges are predictable. If it seems we are to be challenged, often a preemptive strike is necessary to warn them off. And if that isn't enough, stronger warnings must be issued and the clan must stand ready to defend its honor, even if that carries us into physical combat."

"Man…I had no idea there was so much posturing and infighting," Renji mused, "Looking from the Rukongai, you don't see any of that. You just see a bunch of really pretty rich people, who talk fancy and get a lot of respect from everyone…not to put anyone down, but I guess I see why the clan leader always leads Squad Six. It kinda uses the same philosophy…but doesn't it wear on you that you can't let down and relax? You know, you always have to worry about saying the right things and not stepping on the wrong toes. I'd get dizzy dancing around like that, Captain…ah…Byakuya."

Byakuya graced him with a small smile.

"That, Renji, is where subtlety enters the picture. You see, we may be expected to follow the rules, to act certain ways when others are about, but when we are alone, you may speak freely. And when there are no duties for me to see to with the clan or our division, we will spend some of that free time together…hopefully enjoying the relaxation we have to forgo everywhere else."

"Can I ask you a question?" Renji asked.

"Of course."

"How did you learn all of this stuff? Because I've only been here a few days, but I've already encountered about a million rules and ways of doing things…I mean, are nobles just born knowing this stuff?"

Byakuya shook his head.

"Normally, our parents and sometimes specialists and mentors instruct us."

"Like Yoruichi instructed you when you were a kid?"

"More like tormented…" muttered Byakuya discontentedly, "but yes, she was one of my mentors. My grandfather was another. My parents, unfortunately, weren't present to assist me in understanding. My mother died bearing me, and my father died while on the battlefield, while I was still a boy. When a future clan leader loses his parents, it is the older relatives and the council who assume control of the heir's upbringing."

Renji glanced at Byakuya and sighed.

"Must not have been easy having people telling you what to do all of the time. But you are so disciplined…"

He broke off at the sight of an uncharacteristic quirking of Byakuya's lips.

"What?" he asked, "You mean, you haven't always been like this?"

"Think about it, Renji. I married a commoner. I defied the council again, bringing Rukia into the family. But even before that, half the councilors and most of the family thought I would never settle enough to lead. They respected my power from the beginning, but I was of rather high spirits. My grandfather understood, of course, but he made certain that I was curbed of those more liberal tendencies."

"Huh," Renji said, shaking his head ruefully, "Sorry…can't picture that at all…only having seen the way you are now. It doesn't bode well for me, does it?"

He caught himself as Byakuya bit his lip, trying not to smile.

"Ah…sorry, Byakuya. I didn't mean it that way, really," he said quickly, "It's just that I never saw you except as the dutiful captain and clan leader. The idea of you rebelling…but then…you did save Rukia in the end. As much as they made you conform to their rules, they didn't change who you are inside…they only made it so you had to hide a lot of it."

Now Byakuya smiled.

"Exactly, Renji," he said, turning his head to observe the redhead for a moment, "And you, I think, will learn to strike a balance here, knowing when you must respect the rules and when you have leave to relax and lower your guard. I actually chose Michio to attend you, because having come from the Rukongai himself and having to settle in as he did, he will be likely to work well apprising you of the rules and expectations as you go along."

"Hold on for a sec," Renji said, frowning, "I have to ask. Is it really necessary for the attendants to wash us? I mean…I guess it's not a bad thing, but I kind of enjoy relaxing in the shower and singing or whatever, and I like bathing myself. Do I really have to let that kid wash my ass for me? Really?"

Byakuya smirked.

"Only the high ranking nobles have personal attendants who see to them so thoroughly. It is actually considered an honor, in that you are a close relation to a clan leader, and therefore given more in the way of privilege."

"So you let Torio handle your…uh, bathing?"

"I have been honored with having a personal attendant to see to that since birth."

"So…you've never bathed yourself?" Renji asked in dismay.

"Come now, Renji," Byakuya said, shaking his head, "When I am on missions and away from home in situations that are likely to become dangerous, I leave Torio behind, of course…and while he is not with me, I would certainly never allow myself to deteriorate simply due to his absence. I sometimes bathe myself."

"But you like them bathing you?" Renji asked, narrowing his eyes.

"I hardly notice anymore," Byakuya explained, "As a child, I used to run away from them and hide in the forest back there…or come out here and slip into the cave where the hot spring is down below here. Sometimes it would take them hours to find me."

Renji laughed softly.

"That is so unlike my captain…"

"You know less about your captain than you think, Renji. You may be able to read my battle strategy like a book…to anticipate every flash step, turn and strike, but now that you have become my spouse, it is necessary that we penetrate deeper into our knowledge of each other. And as we do that, there is much that each of us will learn about the other. I know you as a subordinate and a fighter, but I know little of your life before that…only that I saw you that once at the shinigami academy, the day we asked Rukia to join our family. I have as much to learn about you as you do about me."

Renji sighed and leaned back against the sakura tree, thinking.

"So…you said there was a hot spring down there?" he asked.

Byakuya nodded.

"Well, if you don't have any clan meetings or other responsibilities for the moment, could we go down there together? I think I'd like to see it."

"Very well," Byakuya said, standing, "But the approach is a little tricky. You drop off the edge of the cliff and there are five touch points, then a very small trail to the right before the bottom. Follow me."

He took a running step and launched himself over the edge of the cliff. Renji jumped down after, watching as the noble's practiced feet lightly found each touch point and he swept down and onto the barely visible trail below. Renji's descent was more shaky and he nearly missed the last touch point, but in the end, he stood on the trail next to Byakuya, waiting as the noble led him back behind the waterfall and into a cave he would have missed if it hadn't been pointed out to him.

Inside the cave, Renji stopped, staring.

"Captain…"

The sloping walls of the cave dripped water and sparkled with mineral deposits. Small kido lamps had been strategically placed to make them sparkle even more and also inside the hot spring to light it. Hooks had been placed in the wall beside the hot spring and fresh towels and yukatas hung on them.

"That's _Byakuya_," the noble corrected him.

"Yeah…sorry," Renji said, still admiring the cave, "I was distracted. This is really something!"

"Hmmm…I'm glad that some part of your new existence is enjoyable for you. You have free use of this place anytime, Renji. It is especially pleasant after swordplay and in the winter."

"I can imagine," Renji said, smiling, "So…can we go in?"

"Of course," Byakuya said, reaching for the tie at his waist.

The two removed their clothing and stepped down into the steaming water. They settled onto a bench seat that had been carved into the stone and leaned back against the sloping side. From that position, Renji saw suddenly where lighting had been placed above the pool to illuminate the mineral formations above the pool, which made leaning back in the water and looking up even better.

"Who put in all of the lights?" the redhead asked, sinking down into the water and gazing upward.

"I did. I am really the only one who comes here. It used to be a sort of hideout…I imagine that's still an accurate description. It is certainly a place to escape to in those times when noble life becomes a burden."

"Well…" said Renji, finding Byakuya's hand beneath the surface of the water, "It already seems less burdensome. It kind of helps to know that following all of the rules and stuff is something you had to get used to too. I thought maybe this all seemed perfectly natural and comfortable to you from the start. It took me by surprise, learning different."

He sighed and moved closer to Byakuya, resting his head on the noble's shoulder.

"I guess we're not as different as I thought we were…but, and I hope you won't take this the wrong way, Byakuya, because I don't mean it in a bad way…I still don't see why the spirit king chose us and tossed us together like this."

"He told me that it had to do with the levels of our power," Byakuya offered, "and he said that we had a connection."

"A connection?" repeated Renji, shaking his head, "I wonder. I mean, we worked well together as fighters lining up against hollows, but it's not like we were all that close…or that either of us was interested in the other."

"I think our connection must have been more of the subtle type for us not to have sensed it."

"I still am not so sure I sense a connection all our own. What's there now is just the connection between captain and subordinate. We are having to really work at our roles as marrieds, Byakuya. Nothing there seems to be natural."

"Perhaps it doesn't seem that way," said the noble, sinking deeper into the water and bringing Renji down with him, "but I think things will become more clear as we go. For now, I think we should focus on growing more comfortable with each other and getting to know each other's intricacies. Whatever did or didn't exist before hardly matters. We have to find a way to move forward. We haven't a great deal of choice in that, so it makes sense to take steps forward, rather than to look backwards."

"Well," said Renji, grinning, "I think we've made a good start on that today. I'm already getting pretty hooked on kissing you. I've only ever been with women, but I don't think that's the only reason I feel different when we kiss. Maybe there is something to the king's saying we were already connected. Maybe we had all we needed to be lovers…but it just never occurred to us to look for that in each other. But now that we are…I am feeling something…"

"I am as well," agreed Byakuya, turning his head to meet Renji's lips for several slow kisses, "but we should continue to move forward slowly, I think. We were bonded and married too suddenly. We have time now to slow things and grow into our life together."

"Hmmm…" Renji sighed, nudging the noble's head back and making a line of kisses up his throat to his earlobe.

Byakuya closed his eyes, enjoying the gentle pleasuring of his skin and feeling a strong pang of guilt as he remembered the elders' plans. He had already learned that Renji didn't enjoy surprises of that kind. And perhaps trying to handle it quietly and trying to spare Renji the distress was not the right thing. He pondered the thought carefully as Renji's mouth continued its gentle assault on his throat, then moved on to his chest.

_He's becoming more affectionate…less angry. I hate to cause more anger…but something in me tells me that I shouldn't keep this from him any longer…_

"Byakuya, is something wrong?" Renji asked, looking into his eyes.

"Renji…there's something I need to tell you…"

He stopped as a hell butterfly flitted into the cave and hovered in front of them.

_Lord Byakuya,_ Nori's solemn voice said, _Council requires your input on several matters concerning your wedding reception. Councilors Arisu and Leiko await you in the council meeting chambers. They will be spending several hours planning before we return to council for a late session this afternoon._

"Wedding reception, huh?" said Renji, looking up at Byakuya through wet strands of red hair, "sounds like fun…but kinda after the fact, you know? By the time we go to that thing, we'll have been married for almost a month."

"It's really more of an introduction to the sub families. You have quite a few clan members who are very interested in meeting you."

"Is that good or bad?" Renji asked, frowning.

"Hmmm…I imagine that waits to be seen. Would you like to accompany me to the council chambers?"

Renji shook his head, laughing.

"I think I'd rather face down your ban kai. I'll go back and rest a bit. It's the first day I've really been out of bed since I got sick…plus all of this hot water is making me sleepy. I'll go back and let Michio fuss over me for a while and take a nap. Let me know when you get back."

Byakuya nodded and sank into Renji's mouth for several deep, sensuous kisses, then lifted himself out of the water, dried off and dressed. As he turned to leave, Renji climbed out of the water and started to dress as well. Byakuya walked to the cave entrance, pausing for a moment and looking back, thinking…

_I have to tell him soon. He deserves to know. After I get back, then…after he is rested. I'll make myself say the words, no matter how angry they will make him. It's only right, after all…and he is starting to see that we are more alike than he knew. He can trust me to be a source of support as he settles into noble life. But that trust needs to be respected and honored. I have to trust him to work with me to diffuse the situation. After all, this is about both of us…not just me._

"Byakuya?" said Renji, breaking into his thoughts.

"Yes?"

"Tonight…" he said tentatively, "would you like me to join you in your room?"

Byakuya couldn't hold back the slow smile that crept onto his face.

"I would like that, Renji. Tonight, then," he said softly, then he turned and flash stepped away.


	11. Shared Pain

**Chapter 11: Shared Pain**

Nori looked up as the hell butterfly floated into the council meeting chambers and landed on his fingertip. He listened to the message, then turned to the two female councilors who were sifting through stacks of invitations, sample decorations and other items relating to the reception to be held to welcome Renji Abarai into the family.

"He is on his way," Nori said, standing and moving to join them, "Just keep him here as long as you can. I will go and have a talk with Abarai. At last report, he was returning to his room to rest while Lord Byakuya came here to assist in the preparations."

"And you really think that you can convince Abarai to leave Lord Byakuya?" asked Arisu, "From what I heard, they were beginning to get on well. What makes you so sure he will leave, based on what you say?"

"He hasn't told Abarai about the obligation to birth an heir. We know that this is because he still has hopes that the council will grant them an exemption from that duty, based on their service to the king."

"But you said that you manipulated the reiatsu and created a spirit chamber so that Lord Byakuya, himself, would have the heir," objected Leiko, brushing the long, black hair from her shoulders, "Can't the council already relieve Abarai of that duty?"

"Well…keep in mind that Byakuya does not know yet that he is with child. If I reveal the council's expectation before they know about the pregnancy, Abarai will treat Byakuya's withholding of the truth as a huge betrayal. After all, he was forced to bear the new king. He is still suffering physically and emotionally from that. To learn that Byakuya expects him to carry the Kuchiki heir as well will drive him away. Soul bonded or not, we need to rid ourselves of that Rukon Rat. He is enough trouble on his own, but I shudder to think of him putting hands on our cousin and leader."

"He was of enough quality to be the king's vessel," said Leiko argumentatively.

"And he is of quality to assist us in the birth of our own heir…but that is where it ends. He has already caused our leader to show signs of rebelliousness we haven't seen since his marriage to that peasant woman."

"I thought you rather liked Hisana," Arisu commented, "You fawned on her almost scandalously."

"She had a sinfully lovely body for a commoner, I admit, which is why I somewhat understood Lord Byakuya's interest in her. Unfortunately, he let himself fall in love instead of just indulging in her more recreationally."

"You beast!" laughed Arisu, shaking her head, "Is that what you think was between them? He seemed to love her."

"He was naïve. And he has not grown much less naïve over the years. He still thinks that he can pick and choose his own way despite how it reflects on us. A strong leader and a powerful heir will help us to maintain our place closest the royal family, but letting that red haired, intractable vermin into the family will drag us down."

"Well, I for one, think Abarai is quite attractive," said Leiko, laughing and picking up two different invitations to compare, "It's too bad he isn't into women…and that he's soul bonded…"

Nori rolled his icy blue eyes.

"Don't you start too, Cousin!" he snapped, "You see…this man needs to quietly exit. We can't kill him because it would also kill our leader…and we need him alive…at least as long as there is no suitable heir…"

"Ooh," said Arisu, "Aren't you getting all scary! Should Leiko and I be watching our backs?"

"Shut up and keep working," Nori said off-handedly, "And when he arrives, you keep him here for as long as you can."

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji leaned back against the soft, white pillows and gazed out into the gardens outside his open doors. He couldn't remember being in a place more beautiful than Kuchiki Manor. And now that he and Byakuya were becoming closer, he looked forward to exploring more of it. But he would never get far in doing so if he didn't get well. He glanced down at his skin and felt a bit encouraged by the soft black lines that were beginning to emerge. And though he still fell far below his normal level of power, the seal on his powers had been removed and he was again able to manage low level kido.

"Soon…"

Soon he would be back at full strength. And he and Byakuya would be at the end of their leave and begin to work as captain and subordinate again. He wondered how difficult it would be to be one thing at home and another at work. He felt perfectly at ease with following Byakuya's orders as his captain, but he was also growing more at ease with sharing a more balanced relationship in their home.

_It's hard to believe that this is my home too. I look around and everything here is beautiful…the dark, shining wood used to make this place, the stone and wooden walkways, the flowers and trails, the sakura trees, everything is beautiful here. And then there's me. How in the hell did I end up here? And with him? Because he's damned beautiful too…and he looks like he belongs here. But me?_

"I've brought your tea, Master Abarai," said Michio, setting the tray on the nightstand beside Renji.

"Thanks, Michio," the redhead said absently.

He took a sip of tea and continued to gaze out into the gardens, his mind replaying his more recent encounters with his spouse. Byakuya was opening up, sharing more with him. It felt good, he thought, to feel the slow lowering of the barriers between them, to get past the awkwardness of their sudden bonding and marriage. And with his body finally recovering from the ordeal in the spirit dimension, he felt more comfortable lowering his own barriers. Yes, bit by bit, their relationship was taking on more reality.

He knew that there were going to continue to be annoyances and upsets. He was a free spirit, suddenly gathered into a much closer environment, but if he and Byakuya could manage to continue to build healthy connections, he thought that, even in the tighter domain of noble life, he could see himself being happy.

He wondered if Byakuya felt the same. The noble seemed content enough, now that things were improving between them…

"Sir," said Michio, appearing suddenly in the doorway, "You have a visitor."

"I do?" said Renji, surprised, "I'm hardly dressed for company…"

"It's all right, sir. It is Head Councilor Nori and he is aware that you are still healing."

Renji nodded.

"Okay…I guess you can let him in."

Michio disappeared out the door, reappearing a minute later with the elder at his side.

"Would you like me to bring the two of you some tea?" the attendant asked.

"Oh yes," said Nori, nodding, "Tea would be good, Michio."

He watched as the dark haired youth raced away, then turned to Renji. Renji looked up at the tall, silvery haired Kuchiki elder, feeling a slight chill at meeting the coldly beautiful blue eyes. Like Byakuya, he had pale, perfect skin and his hair was silken and left loose around his shoulders.

"I am glad to see you are looking better, Renji Abarai. It seems that your reiatsu is much improved since your return from the spirit realm."

"Yeah…I do feel better, thanks," the redhead said, sitting up straighter.

Nori chuckled softly and held up a hand.

"Don't feel the need to posture, Abarai. You are resting and healing, so we needn't act as though we were in a meeting of council. I am curious, however, to know how things are progressing. How are you settling into noble life? It is a far cry from navigating the hard streets of the lower Rukon, ne?"

"Yeah…yeah it is. But Captain Kuchiki has been really good about making sure I know what to expect…and Michio is especially helpful. He knows what this is like."

"Yes, I had heard of my cousin's choice of attendant for you, and I must say…it is a fair match. Michio is a very intelligent boy…and pleasant all around, you might say. And you are showing a fair amount of resilience, from what I understand."

"Well, living in the Rukon makes a guy pretty adaptable."

"I am certain that is true, however, it must have spun your mind in quite the circle to learn that after serving his majesty, you would then serve as well to carry our heir."

Renji's eyes narrowed questioningly.

"Come again?" he asked.

Nori paled slightly and gave him a surprised look.

"Oh…I am sorry. I just assumed that…that he must have told you. My apologies," Nori said, shaking his head in dismay, "This must be so upsetting to you learning it from me this way. But let me assure you, I expect that Lord Byakuya only meant to spare you as you recovered. He likely was afraid of putting too much pressure on you as you healed. Again…I am sorry to have troubled you…"

Renji shoved away the sick feeling rising inside.

"I…it's…it's fine. Look, I'm not feeling so well."

"Ah, yes, I will send Michio back in to assist you," said Nori, rising and turning away.

He stopped in the doorway, a slow smile touching his lips as he registered Renji climbing to his feet and heading for the bathroom. He shook his head at the sounds that followed, then left the room.

"Michio," he said, spotting the youth on the walkway, "You need to see to Renji. He is looking quite unwell again. I'm afraid he must have had a relapse.

He turned away, walking back towards the manor entry, smirking at the sounds of concern issuing from the rooms behind him.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya captured the approaching hell butterfly on a fingertip, noting immediately the tension in Torio's voice as it rose up and delivered the message.

_Lord Kuchiki, Michio has reported to me that Master Abarai has fallen ill again. We have summoned a healer, but we thought that you would wish to know._

Byakuya was on his feet and flash stepping towards the door immediately.

"What's your hurry?" asked Arisu, "Is something wrong?"

"My apologies," Byakuya quickly, "I shall contact you later to finalize the plans."

He didn't wait for an answer, but flash stepped out of the council chambers, down the stairs and back towards Kuchiki Manor. He was vaguely aware of passing Nori, who asked him something…but Byakuya neither slowed nor answered. He maintained the speed of his shunpo until he reached the manor entry, then slowed to catch his breath before continuing on past a sputtering Torio and a harried looking Michio.

He turned into Renji's room and was surprised to find Renji fully dressed and slinging a pack over his shoulder. But his reiatsu was horribly sluggish and his face looked frighteningly pale.

"Renji?" he queried, staring, "I was told you were ill…"

"You…" Renji said in a low voice, "I want _you_ to get out of my way!"

"Get out of your way? Renji…what's wrong with you? Why are you so angry? Did I do something wrong?"

"Did you do something _wrong_, Captain?" nearly choking and clenching his stomach, "Why don't you tell me…because obviously your idea of wrong and mine are pretty damned different. How could you _keep_ such a thing from me? Were you ever gonna tell me?" he hissed, his voice trembling, "Or were you just gonna act surprised when I let you fuck me and I ended up pregnant?"

Byakuya's eyes widened with realization.

"Renji…it wasn't like that…"

"Really?" the redhead said sarcastically, "because if it's not, I don't know what the hell it _is_! But it isn't anything I want to be part of. I'm getting out of here! I'm getting away from you and your crazy fucking family! Now, get out of my way!"

"Wait," Byakuya said, trying to keep his voice calm, "I swear I can make you understand…Renji…"

"No…no I don't give a damn what you have to say! You had a chance, you know? When we started to open up like that? I started to feel like I could trust you again…like maybe…we could get past what happened in the spirit dimension and make this marriage work. But it was a lie! You never wanted me as an equal partner…as a real spouse. You had to have that last bit of control over me. Maybe you're just too used to having control to relinquish it and actually let someone else stand beside you. But you can't _do_ something like that and expect me to just let it go. You were going to use me, just like I was used to bear the king!" Renji half sobbed, lowering his head and brushing the tears away, "I didn't think you would do something that awful…not _ever_! You were there! You know what I went through! How could you do this? How could you not even tell me?"

"I told you this morning that there was something I wanted to tell you…remember? You do remember, ne?" Byakuya asked, tension in his voice.

"So what?" Renji countered, "You could have told me a hundred times over! You could have told me before we even came back! But you didn't! You didn't say a damned thing? And now you want me to believe that you were just about to tell me?"

"I would have told you sooner, Renji…but I feared for your health…and I went before the council to request an exemption, because like you, I knew it would be wrong!"

"But that day…at the sixth division…when you said that you would have sex with me if I asked it? You were pulling me in! You were lying through your teeth! It wasn't about making our marriage work! It was making your damned heir, Byakuya!"

"No…no…I never sought to do that. I wouldn't have taken you…even if that had been something you wanted. I wouldn't have. I give you my word!"

Renji managed a short, choked, sarcastic laugh.

"Your _word_? Your…_word_? What the fuck is that worth, anyway? You say lots of things, you know…lots of things that are and aren't true, Captain. We both know that! You posture all the time. But up until now, it's always been to protect someone…like Rukia…or sometimes even me. But you weren't protecting anyone this time. You were setting me up…and I'll never forgive you for that. We can't break the soul bond…I know. But I don't have to live here anymore! You think of what to tell them when they ask…I'm sure you can think up a pretty damned good _lie_!"

He flash stepped past the stricken noble and out onto the walkway. Byakuya heard Michio's voice calling out and he turned to go after Renji. He flash stepped out onto the walkway and started to follow, but slid to a stop as pain registered in his abdomen. He caught his breath softly and held his hand to his abdomen, swallowing hard as he sensed Torio appearing at his side.

"I need to go after him…"

"No…" Torio said, taking hold of his arm, "Anyone can see that something's wrong. Let me get a healer for you."

"I'm not ill," Byakuya said shortly, "Let go of me…"

"Sir…please, I can sense your reiatsu is distorted. You're not well. Besides, Michio went after him. He will follow, then come back to tell us where Master Abarai went. Please, sir, come and rest for a bit…at least until your reiatsu settles."

Byakuya stared, glazed eyed the boy, thinking. Finally, he gave a long sigh and followed Torio out of Renji's room and back to his own.

"Torio," he said quietly as he removed all but his yukata, "I want you to wake me as soon as Renji is found."

"I will, sir, I promise," the youth said, laying the blanket over him.

Byakuya closed his eyes and calmed his breathing, trying to slowly push the odd, cramping sensation in his stomach away. But it continued to throb and pulse uncomfortably, leaving him feeling oddly weak and sick to his stomach. He thought about summoning Torio, but after a time managed to drift off.

Byakuya turned and shifted as he slept, sometimes remembering what had happened between Renji and him, and sometimes escaping into deeper dreams of unrelated things. But in the midst of his sleep, a soft flare of reiatsu rose up, and he felt his mind seem to leave his body, to travel out of the manor and away…and to settle again inside his missing spouse.

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji sat in a corner of a Rukon bar…not anywhere Byakuya was likely to find him, drinking himself into oblivion and hoping that doing so would not only dull the pain, but would blind his spouse to where he was and what he was doing. He still felt the ache of sickness inside…but it only meant excusing himself from time and time to go and empty his stomach before taking up with the bottle again. He was so drunk, he thought it unnatural that he still felt the burn as he drank more.

"Hey," said a soft, feminine voice, "Bartender says you've had enough. You're going to kill yourself if you keep this up."

She paused, looking into his eyes and smiling sympathetically.

"Look, I'm off now. Obviously, someone messed you up pretty bad. Why don't you come upstairs with me? I can let you have a hot shower and we can talk about it. I'm a good listener…"

He thought about telling her 'no' and stumbling away somewhere outside to sleep, but the night was too damned cold and, he thought, he wasn't going to freeze his ass off just because of some damned noble jackass…

"Y-yeah…okay…" he managed, accepting her hand and staggering to his feet.

His head swam and everything went oddly dim for a while. He heard the girl's voice again and felt his clothes being removed, then cool hands touched his body and another body laid down with him. Her voice reached his ears and he felt soft, sweet lips touching his. It was different from Byakuya's lips, but he wanted to feel different. He wanted to feel anything but Byakuya's touches and kisses. So he disappeared into the barmaid's embrace, moaning uncomfortably and saying things he had no control over…how that noble was a bastard, and never cared for him…but all of the time, Byakuya's mind was somehow there, alongside his, feeling and absorbing a share of the pain…reeling as the barmaid rose up over Renji and took his length inside her. His mind disappeared into a haze and he knew no more for a time. He awoke sometime later to find himself entangled with the girl and sick to his stomach. He slid out of her arms and staggered to the bathroom, retching. He could almost laugh at himself for ever thinking he could control his own destiny again. Byakuya would be with him, no matter where he went, no matter what he did.

"Bastard!" the redhead sobbed, leaning forward and throwing up again.

Soft arms wrapped around him and helped him back to bed. He felt a cool cloth touch his forehead and heard the girl's kind voice encouraging him to sleep. He sank into slumber again and woke later, feeling a little more coherent. The girl brought him coffee and sat quietly next to him as he drank it. He sipped at the strong liquid, feeling it slide down inside and begin to awaken him.

But he didn't want to be awake…

Awake meant remembering, and all he wanted to do was to forget…

"You look so sad," whispered the girl, "but it will be all right. I know someone hurt you…and you are still in love with that person. You have to let yourself feel that pain, before you can move on."

Renji shook his lowered head and held back a dry sob.

"You don't understand. I can never be free. I am soul bonded to this person…and I have no choice but to return to him eventually."

The girl pulled Renji onto her shoulder and held him there.

"Then, if that is the way it is…rest here for a bit. Go back after you've made yourself well again."

Renji allowed himself to be lowered back into bed and fell into a deep sleep. He didn't wake until much later, when a hell butterfly arrived and hovered near his head. Torio's voice rose up, shaking and filled with tears.

_M-master Abarai, I know you are very angry, but…you must come to the fourth division. Lord Kuchiki became dreadfully ill and has been taken to the healing center. Sir…sir…I think he is in danger of dying! It came on very suddenly…and they don't know why…please, sir, Captain Unohana needs to ask you some questions…_

Renji leaned forward and brought a hand to his forehead, noticing for the first time, that the girl who had brought him to the room was gone. He left a note, explaining his need to leave and thanking her for listening, then, with a heavy heart, set out for the Seireitei.


	12. Cornered

**Chapter 12: Cornered**

Renji forced down the awful sick feeling inside and actually managed some flash steps as he raced out of the Rukon and back through the gates into the Seireitei. His head hurt like hell and he was beginning to wonder if he was ever going to know what it was like to walk around without pain making him feel like throwing up. Of course, he knew that much of what he felt at the moment was his fault. Drinking himself stupid when he was already a physical mess had been shortsighted. The old Byakuya would have dryly pointed that out to him and would have made him work around it to prove a point. The Byakuya who he knew now was completely unpredictable. What else could he call a guy who would, on the one hand, act like he was in love with Renji…and in the next moment, plot to make him pregnant against his will?

He shook his head, and nearly fell because of the dizziness it caused, then he forced another few flash steps out of his tormented body. The healing center loomed up in front of him and he took the steps two-by-two. He started towards the admittance desk, but was snapped up halfway across the room by a frantic looking Isane, who guided him down a long hallway and into Captain Unohana's office. He sank into a chair, clenching his abdomen and trying to stop the dizzy feeling in his head. After a few minutes, the door to the office opened and Captain Unohana stepped in and sat down at her desk. She regarded Renji with serious eyes.

"Vice Captain Abarai, thank you for coming in to assist us," she said solemnly, "Captain Kuchiki is in very serious condition and we had some questions we need to ask you that relate to his condition."

"Huh?" Renji muttered, then his eyes widened and he caught his breath sharply, "You mean, because of the soul bond?"

"Hai," the healer said, nodding, "The soul bond changes the nature of the situation greatly."

"How do you mean?" asked Renji.

"Well…your reiatsu is bound together, which means that there are connections between you that did not exist before. You may not have noticed the difference right away, because it takes time for these things to fully emerge, but shinigamis sharing a soul bond will often see through each other's eyes, sense each other's thoughts, feel where the other is or what he is doing…and when one is affected by something…say and illness or injury, it can affect the other."

"What…are you saying…you're saying this is…my fault?"

"I am saying no such thing," explained the healer, "certainly, someone involved in the bonding should have told you these things. Then you would have known…"

"Wait a minute!" Renji gasped, "You mean that…he…he might have been able to see…what happened to me?"

"Byakuya's attendant says that he began to feel ill after the two of you had an argument and you left. He woke sometime later and seemed to be drunk or otherwise made incoherent…but Torio swears that he had no access to any alcohol and in any case, was sleeping the whole time before that, so he couldn't have gotten drunk. I tested him for drugs and he had alcohol in his system…possibly because you were drinking?"

Renji sighed and lowered his eyes.

"Yeah…I was drinking…a lot…" he admitted.

Unohana touched his arm bracingly.

"Do not feel too bad. No one informed you how your soul bond would affect you, so there was no way for you to know…and Captain Kuchiki's sensitivity to alcohol is not widely known about…"

"Hell, I knew he didn't drink alcohol, but I didn't know it would hurt him!"

"And if you were drinking normal quantities, it would not have affected him so strongly."

"Damn…"

"Well," said Captain Unohana, "the important thing is to manage things now. You need to refrain from drinking any alcohol, now, and for the duration of his pregnancy."

Renji opened his mouth to speak, then closed it again in surprise.

"Oh…you did not know?" asked the healer, "I thought that, perhaps it might pertain to the argument you had. Torio said it was something about making children?"

"Y-yeah, sort of, but…oh…man…I ah…I…I'll be right back."

He burst out of her office and into the first bathroom he encountered, then fell to his knees, retching loudly. He threw up again and again, until it seemed he had nothing left inside him. He sat on the floor, looking down at the skin of his arms…and feeling surprised that he looked so awfully pale. He wanted to lie down on the floor and die right there, but needed to go back and deal with the situation.

_He doesn't fucking tell me anything! Not a damned thing!_

He staggered to his feet and stumbled out of the bathroom and back to Captain Unohana's office. The healer gave him a sympathetic look and handed him a pill and a glass of water.

"To manage your hangover," she said bracingly.

"Yeah…right," he said, feeling like throwing up again, "can you give me a damned pill to fix my fucked up life? Can you do that?"

The healer shook her head sadly.

"Look, just tell me," Renji said, holding a hand to his stomach, "Byakuya…he's…going to be all right…right?"

Captain Unohana nodded.

"It was close, but I have managed to stabilize him. He is still in serious condition and I am keeping a close eye on the condition of the baby's reiatsu. So far, it does not seem to have been affected. But Captain Kuchiki's emotional state has been fluctuating since his arrival here. This is wearing on him. He needs to be kept calm and he needs to take care of himself, if he wants to deliver a healthy child."

"Which means you want me to make peace with him…"

"Which means that the two of you need to put off discussion of your differences and focus on your child."

Renji sighed softly.

"Okay…okay, yeah…yeah, I get it. I won't upset him. I'll calm him down."

"Arigato, Vice Captain Abarai. I appreciate your assistance and I know Captain Kuchiki will too."

XXXXXXXXXX

Renji stepped into the darkened hospital room and let the door close softly behind him. Even if the lights had been on, he would have known instantly from the feel of Byakuya's reiatsu that he was sleeping. He approached the bed slowly and sat down next to the noble on a chair. He gazed down at the pale face, the IV lines, the sunken look to his closed eyes and the signs of strain that he only knew from having spent so much time close to the man.

"Renji?"

The redhead looked into the dark eyes as they opened and saw something unexpected.

_He looks terrified…and I know why. He expects that now that his last secret is out, I'll leave him for good…_

"Captain…"

He didn't miss the look of pain that flashed in Byakuya's eyes. Renji sighed resignedly.

"Look, obviously, we can't afford to hash this out now. You got what you wanted. You have an heir on the way…and I'm not leaving you."

"You're…not leaving?" Byakuya repeated questioningly.

Renji shook his head.

"Whatever I might feel doesn't matter anymore. There's a kid involved here, and that changes things. The last thing I want…is for a kid that's part of me…to be fucked up by a psychotic family like yours. I'm staying to make sure the kid is healthy…and to give him or her some way of staying sane through all of the shit your fucking relatives are going to put him through…"

"I didn't know, Renji…"

Renji frowned in confusion.

"Huh…?"

"I didn't know about the baby."

Renji rolled his eyes.

"Yeah…sure. Byakuya…let's just stop the screwing around. You knew about this…just like you knew the elders wanted me to have the heir. I don't know…maybe you were trying to manage me and their demands for an heir and you just snapped or something. I don't know the 'why' of it…but it doesn't matter. Just…stop talking about it. Get some rest."

"I would rest better at home," the noble said softly.

"Okay," Renji said quietly, "I'll talk to Captain Unohana."

He sighed heavily and dropped his head forward onto the edge of the bed. He almost jumped out of his skin when Byakuya spoke again.

"So, Renji…did you get it out of your system?"

"Huh?"

"Your hatred of me…"

"I don't hate you, Byakuya. I just left because I couldn't stand you keeping everything from me. But I told you, that doesn't matter now."

"Did you enjoy it?" the noble went on in a soft, tired tone.

"What? Getting stinking drunk? Throwing up?"

"Sleeping with that girl…"

Renji froze.

"She wasn't who you thought she was…"

"What the fuck are you talking about? What do you mean…she wasn't who I thought she was?"

"Nori paid her to follow you. She followed you there…and paid the bartender to let her serve you. Nori told her to let you drink yourself blind, then to take you to bed. She was gone in the morning, ne?"

Renji felt the awful, sick feeling return.

"But you've been here all this time. How did you know?"

"About your infidelity? That was because of the soul bond. I knew the girl, because she works for Nori. I don't think he realized that I would be able to see through your eyes so soon after being bonded with you. But now I know how far he went to try to get you to leave…and I know you don't believe me…but I think he was involved with this pregnancy somehow. I swear to you that I had no knowledge of it before being brought here for treatment…but someone tampered with my systems after we were together in your quarters…and Nori was at the manor and alone with me that night…"

"Byakuya…look, just let it go for now."

"Let it go?" Byakuya said in a low, angry voice, "Nori set this pregnancy up, then set you up to be hurt so that you would leave me…"

"Come on, Byakuya. I'm not buying that he's even smart enough to plan something like that…and how would he know we were together? Did you tell him?"

"I didn't have to. He would have been able to sense it. Renji…I will prove it to you…"

"Hey," said Renji, shaking his head, "Don't you get that it just doesn't matter any more? I lost…you won…I'm staying. You should be happy with that. Now, just rest. That kid you're having has already had enough."

Byakuya nodded silently and relaxed against the pillows. Renji closed his eyes and tried to drift off. Not that sleep would end the nightmare, but he was exhausted and so sick he could barely remain mobile.

He turned his head slightly so that he could see Byakuya's face and felt even sicker at the sadness he saw there. And he knew that, whatever Byakuya might have done, he didn't want it to continue.

"Byakuya," he said softly, "I'm sorry…for getting drunk and letting that girl get me in bed. I know it doesn't help worth shit…but I didn't decide to have sex with her…and I don't even remember it. It only happened because I was fucking stupid and I never considered that he could be manipulating me…"

"Who?"

"Nori…He was the one who told me about the elders wanting me to have the heir."

Byakuya sat up.

"Hey, lie down. You're not supposed to be…"

"He told you this…when?"

"While you were gone yesterday…why?"

Byakuya threw back the covers and came to his feet, his reiatsu shocking Renji so that he nearly fell off his chair.

"Get back into bed!" he yelled, "What are you doing?"

"I'm going down to that council chamber and…"

"No, you're not!" Renji shouted, "You're in no condition to go face them down! Lie down, before I knock you out!"

"As if you could!" huffed the noble, crossly, "I am _not_ letting them get away with this! I am going down there and…"

The door opened and Captain Unohana rushed in.

"What is going on here?" she demanded, "I ordered that Captain Kuchiki was to have rest and NO excitement."

"Hey, I didn't excite him," said Renji, raising his hands in defense, "I told him to lie down!"

"Evidently, you told him more than that," the healer said, her reiatsu becoming intense, "but regardless…Captain Kuchiki is to rest, or I will be forced to give a sedative to both of you."

Byakuya gazed at her for a moment, then let out a long breath.

"My apologies, Captain," he said, lying back down, "I will leave this unpleasantness until later…"

"A wise decision, Captain," the healer said, the calm returning to her face and reiatsu.

She turned and left the room.

Renji shook his head and dropped back into his chair.

"I tell you. That woman is scary, Captain. She never even has to raise her voice…"

"Yes," Byakuya said, closing his eyes, "she is deceptively powerful. Her greatest strength is that she causes others to misinterpret and underestimate her."

"Yeah, well she scares the hell out of me, that's for darned sure!"

He dropped his head onto the edge of the bed again and closed his eyes.

"I am glad she talked some sense into you, though. Our baby needs you to stay calm and not go running off to beat up on those old troublemakers…"

"Yes…I understand…" Byakuya said softly.

The room went quiet and Renji quickly drifted off to sleep. As soon as he was sure that Renji slept, Byakuya reached over and touched the redhead's forehead, sending him into a deeper sleep. He removed the IV from his arm and slipped out of bed, then put Renji in the bed in his place. He moved to the window and opened it. Turning back, he kissed Renji lightly on the forehead.

"I will not allow harm to come to our child…but I will make them pay…"


	13. Lack of Evidence

**Chapter 13: Lack of Evidence**

Byakuya's flash step sent repercussions through the trees and bushes that lined the pathway to the Kuchiki Council Hall. He pushed down the feeling of illness inside, brushing it off as a mere symptom of his condition. Fire flashed in his veins at the thought that the elders would dare to do something so heinous. They had argued and attempted different sorts of manipulations before, of course…but to dare to lay hands on and cause the impregnation of a clan leader…and an unwilling clan leader at that.

And to top it all off, by doing so, Nori had caused Renji to mistrust him again. He ached all over, thinking of how he had tried so hard to mend things and how their situation had seemed to be moving in the right direction. Had Nori not involved himself, he might have been able to tell Renji everything…to deal with the emotional and practical issues and come to a solution. He might well even have offered to carry the child…but by going behind his back, Nori had caused him to look guilty of deep dishonesty.

No wonder Renji mistrusted him…

With all of the machinations, he wondered if Renji would ever trust him again…if he would even dare to hope for such a thing. He sighed in frustration, sliding to a stop for a moment as emotion welled up inside him in a way that was wholly unfamiliar. Instantly, tears threatened to fill his eyes and he had to work hard to maintain control that had been so easy before. He knew, of course, that chemical changes in his body, due to the pregnancy were likely the cause, but he had no idea that it would affect him so soon…or so strongly. His level of fury, although certainly justified, seemed equally heightened. He took a moment to breathe and considered what he was doing…and came to the same conclusion he had before. He had to go before the council and hold Nori accountable for what he had done. He flash stepped up the front stairs and into the front lobby, then, seeing the council doors were closed and guarded, he simply drew Senbonzakura and calmly ordered the guards to step aside.

"Sir, with all due respect…"

"The council is in session, ne?" Byakuya asked in a low, threatening voice.

"Well, yes, sir, but…"

"And I am the ranking member of that council…so unless you wish to die, step aside!"

A blast of kido sent the guards scrambling and shattered the large double doors into splinters. Byakuya strode forward with his weapon in his hand and flash stepped the head of the table. He placed his blade at Head Councilor Nori's throat, his reiatsu shaking the room.

"What is…the meaning of this?" roared Nori, careful not to move his head, "Lord Byakuya, have you taken leave of your senses?"

"What are you talking about?" asked the clan leader in a sarcastic voice, "I know exactly what I am doing! How DARE you lay hands on me and cause…cause…THIS! You and your manipulations are tearing everything apart! But you know that, don't you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," commented the councilor coolly, "What manipulations?"

Byakuya's reiatsu rose dangerously and his stomach pitched softly in warning.

"Don't LIE to ME!" Byakuya fumed, "This council was present when Renji and I were soul bonded. And while you know that neither of us sought this union, we accepted that it was our duty to find a way to make it work. We were committed to that…and working our way closer together, when your machinations threw everything into chaos!"

"With all due respect, Lord Byakuya, there is no evidence of any wrongdoing on our part," insisted Nori, "Honestly, what makes you think any of this is true?"

Byakuya let out an impatient breath.

"Because you were left alone with me after Renji and I were together…and that is when the impregnation had to have occurred, because we were not together again after that!"

"And why do you assume that means that I did anything at all? There have been accounts of male pregnancies that occurred naturally within the clan…"

Byakuya glared at him.

"Nori, you and I know perfectly well that all of those pregnancies were of questionable nature…and all that says to me is that the Kuchiki council of elders has a long history of placing its abnormally large nose into its clan leaders' lives! But that will stop today! None of you are to set foot in Kuchiki Manor without one or more of my own house guards present."

"Well, Lord Byakuya," said Nori, barely hiding his smirk, "You can hardly put the cat back in the bag, once it's out…"

"But I have leave to kill the cat if it steps outside the boundaries of law again, do I make myself clear?"

"Oh, abundantly…but I still say that you have not offered a shred of evidence that any member of this council has acted improperly. Indeed, merely being in your presence the day Abarai impregnated you does not saddle me with responsibility. Really…it's not as though _I _fathered your child!"

"No…you simply altered my body to make it suitable for pregnancy…" noted Byakuya, "And then you plotted to set Renji against me by…"

"By going to the manor to see how he was doing?" asked Nori calmly.

"You told Renji about the council's expectation!"

"I actually mentioned it in conversation, assuming you had told the man what would be expected. I was not aware that it was any kind of secret…"

"You knew…I know you did. You lured me away and dropped that information…then you made sure that when Renji left the manor, that he was followed…by your servant, Ima."

"You're delusional…"

"I saw her…"

"You weren't in the Rukon…"

"I am soul bonded to Renji. I said I _saw_ her!" Byakuya insisted.

"Well, then, you were mistaken," Nori said, looking smug, "Go ahead and find her…ask her. Good luck. You see, if you check my house records…"

"I don't need any house records to know how you manipulated Renji and me. You wanted the heir and you wanted Renji gone! Well, I'll tell you that you have failed…that Renji is returning to Kuchiki Manor and we _are_ going to live there together. We are soul bonded. You have no right to try to separate us!"

"And you have no power to take action without due cause."

Byakuya's anger flared, his reiatsu spiked, making the room shake and Senbonzakura was out and released before he could think to stop himself. Petals exploded in all directions, turning everything in the room to tiny particles. Only Byakuya and the councilors were left untouched. Their clothes, however, were not spared. Byakuya found himself facing a room filled with furious Kuchiki cousins in tattered, shredded clothes, whose rising reiatsu send fresh waves through the room and disturbed the broken bits of what Byakuya had destroyed. Byakuya made the petals disappear and sheathed his weapon.

"Lord Byakuya…how dare you…" Nori began.

"How dare I what?" Byakuya countered primly.

"We all saw you!"

"I saw you. As you said that I have no evidence, neither do you have evidence, but it makes the truth no less the truth…"

"You've gone stark, raving mad!" Nori hissed, "You can't…"

"I cannot what?" Byakuya asked, drawing and raising Senbonzakura, "tell the truth and have it be believed? I won't let you ruin my relationship with Renji! I won't…"

He stopped as a shock of pain passed through his abdomen. Nori's eyes became concerned.

"Lord Byakuya, are you all right?"

"As though you would concern yourself…" the clan leader groaned, holding his midsection and going pale.

"Come," said Nori, "You need to lie down."

He set a hand on Byakuya's arm that was viciously thrown off.

"Don't…touch me!" Byakuya hissed, his chest heaving and another shock of pain moving through him.

"Don't be difficult," Nori said, motioning to the guards to assist him.

Byakuya backed away, holding Senbonzakura ready.

"Lord Byakuya," said Nori in a placating voice, "We just want to help you. You are obviously unwell…"

"I don't…need your…help," the clan leader panted, lowering the sword and leaning on it.

The guards moved in and cornered him.

"What are you doing?" Byakuya said, lifting his sword to fend them off.

"Come now, lower your weapon. You are in pain. We only wish to help to relieve it. Be calm now, Lord Byakuya," Nori said moving closer and raising his reiatsu.

The guards flash stepped in and took hold of Byakuya's sword and arms. His reiatsu rose as he tried to fire a kido spell, but found he couldn't.

"What is happening? What did you do?" Byakuya asked, weariness and pain clouding his mind.

"We did nothing," Nori said, gazing at him oddly, "Sleep for a bit. You will feel better…"

He tried to object, but his body no longer obeyed him. He sagged in the guards' arms, his mind turning oddly and his consciousness beginning to fade.

"You became too upset for the good of your child," said Nori, "We will see that you get proper rest here, and no interruptions. After all, it is best for your baby…"

"N-no…I demand to be returned…home. N-nori…"

"Obviously doesn't know what he's saying…" said Nori to the guard.

The council guards began to carry the delirious noble out of the room, but as they reached mid way across, what was left of the entry doors shattered and Renji flash stepped into the room, looking furious and wielding Zabimaru in his jagged shikai form.

"What the fuck is going on here?" he exclaimed, "What are you morons doing with him?"

The council stared at the redhead in stunned silence for a moment, then Nori loosed his tongue to answer.

"We were conducting a meeting of council…a private meeting of council, to which you were not invited, Renji Abarai."

"Huh," huffed Renji, "And is that how your clan leader usually conducts business? Unconscious?"

He glared at the guards.

"Give him to me," he said in a low, warning voice.

He waited for a moment, then continued.

"Maybe, you didn't hear me," he went on, "Give him to me now!"

He didn't wait, but flash stepped forward and pulled the noble free of the guards, then backed towards the door.

"I am taking my life partner home. None of you are to so much as set foot in our manor without his permission!"

"How impertinent…" growled Nori, but he remained where he was, watching as Renji carried Byakuya out the doors and flash stepped away.

He turned back to face the others.

"That was reckless, Nori," said Arisu, examining her ruined clothes, "He got all out of sorts…and he could have done real damage."

"Yes…" said Nori, thinking, "That is very true."

He gazed at the others.

"In light of our leader's unstable behavior, I move that we have him extracted from Kuchiki Manor and removed to someplace Abarai won't find him."

"But they're soul bonded," Leiko reminded him, "Won't Abarai just 'see' where he is?"

"Maybe," said Nori, "But not if Byakuya remains unconscious until the heir's birth."

"At which time, you'll do what?" Arisu asked pointedly.

The other councilors nodded in agreement.

"Oh…I think our duty is very clear. I think Lord Byakuya has unfortunately become quite unstable. And after the birth of the heir, he should be sent to our treatment facility…at which time, our council will choose a guardian to guide the heir in his growth."

"Oh, Nori," laughed Leiko, "You are horrible!"

"Come now, all of you have been complaining ever since Lord Ginrei left."

"True enough," agreed Arisu, "But you must be careful not to overstep certain bounds, Nori."

"I am aware of exactly what I am doing," he assured them.

"And what about Renji Abarai?"

"Oh," said Nori, "I have a special plan in mind for him…"

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya opened his eyes and was surprised to find himself back in his own room. He sat up slowly, one hand on his midsection. The garden doors were open and cool air wafted in from outside and he heard the soft sound of birds chirping. The inner door opened and Torio entered the room, carrying a tray. He set it on the nightstand and handed Byakuya a cup of tea.

"Torio," he said quietly, trying to ignore the uncomfortable throbbing in his head and stomach, "How did I get home?"

The attendant smiled.

"Master Abarai brought you home," answered Torio, "He said you lost consciousness at the council hall and he brought you home."

"And…where is Renji now?" Byakuya asked uncertainly.

"Michio put him to bed, sir," the attendant explained, "He was feeling none too good after carrying you home from the council hall. But we had the healers here for you both. They said that both of you need lots of rest…oh, and they gave me some vitamins and nutrition information, which I gave to the cook. You haven't been eating enough and it's putting a strain on your body. Also, the healer said to avoid stress."

"Of course," muttered Byakuya, "Easier said than done, I'm afraid…"

He sipped quietly at his tea.

"Arigato, Torio, you may go…"

He lay in bed, drinking his tea and looking out the doors into the garden.

_What do I do now? He said that he doesn't believe me…and neither of us is in any shape to argue. We have to find our way through this, but…how? He isn't invested in me or in our relationship…just this child I carry. He stays, but he does so grudgingly…and that cannot be good for a body still healing._

He slipped out of bed and stepped out onto the outer walkway. He stood outside Renji's door, listening.

"You must rest, Master Abarai," Michio said quietly, "The healer said the stress is what's keeping you from getting well. Please…lie down."

"Lying down isn't going to help," Renji sighed, "nothing is. I am stuck here now and I have no choice at all about that. I lost all of my choices…all control over my life when I was bonded to him."

Byakuya knew he didn't mean it in a cold way, but it didn't remove the sting from what was said. He was just a liability to Renji now…just something unpleasant that forced him to stay. He thought back to the day Renji had taken him…how good it felt to be held and taken with such strength. He had never experienced love of that kind before…and when he sought Hisana's help before, she had led him to finally release himself from mourning…to move on and try to truly bond with Renji.

_But once again, I need your help, Hisana. Renji despises me…and I understand why. He thinks I set him up to father this child. But what do I do? How do I fix this?_

This time, there seemed to be no answer. The voices in Renji's room had quieted. Byakuya turned and walked back to the house entrance, then made his way across town to the Squad Six office. He went inside and sat down at his desk, trying to remember the last time they had been there together. Things had been normal then. Renji was just his vice captain, and Byakuya was just Renji's captain. He wished they could go back to the way they were before, but realized the futility of the wish. So unable to think of anything that would make things better between them, he busied himself with paperwork, then retreated to his quarters to sleep. If he tuned everything out, perhaps he could ignore Renji's absence. If he didn't dwell on it, perhaps the emptiness there would somehow disappear into his busyness. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes, falling into a deep, troubled sleep, and didn't open his eyes again until his door was thrown open and Renji burst in the next morning. Seeing that no harm had come to him, the redhead said nothing, but turned and closed the door, then walked away. Byakuya sat staring at the door for several long moments, then in a very unKuchiki-like manner, he dissolved into silent tears.

_I don't want him to look after me because of this child. I want Renji to love me…but maybe that's asking too much. Maybe I've just done too much to hurt him…_


	14. Torn and Mended

**Chapter 14: Torn and Mended**

Byakuya gathered a few essentials and loaded them into a pack that he set on the bed in his quarters. As he finished placing the last few items in the pack, his mind went back to Renji's words…

"_Captain…"_

_He didn't miss the look of pain that flashed in Byakuya's eyes. Renji sighed resignedly._

"_Look, obviously, we can't afford to hash this out now. You got what you wanted. You have an heir on the way…and I'm not leaving you."_

"_You're…not leaving?" Byakuya repeated questioningly._

_Renji shook his head._

"_Whatever I might feel doesn't matter anymore. There's a kid involved here, and that changes things. The last thing I want…is for a kid that's part of me…to be fucked up by a psychotic family like yours. I'm staying to make sure the kid is healthy…and to give him or her some way of staying sane through all of the shit your fucking relatives are going to put him through…"_

"_I didn't know, Renji…"_

_Renji frowned in confusion._

"_Huh…?"_

"_I didn't know about the baby."_

_Renji rolled his eyes._

"Yeah…sure. Byakuya…let's just stop the screwing around. You knew about this…just like you knew the elders wanted me to have the heir. I don't know…maybe you were trying to manage me and their demands for an heir and you just snapped or something. I don't know the 'why' of it…but it doesn't matter. Just…stop talking about it. Get some rest."

He sighed resignedly and summoned a hell butterfly.

"Renji, I understand that you have chosen to remain with me out of concern for our child. Your protectiveness of our child is commendable, but unfortunately, as Captain Unohana has ordered that I relieve myself of stress…and the stress of your rejection of me has taken such a toll, I find that it could be harmful to our child for me to remain living with you at Kuchiki Manor. I am taking a leave of absence from the military and going to stay at my private estate in the living world. I will be well attended and will see to it that no harm comes to me or to our child, but I must ask that you do not attempt to come to my location. Rest at Kuchiki Manor and regain your strength. I will return for the birth and make sure you are present. I am sorry for the pain I caused you. I do promise you that, as I said, the Kuchiki Council interfered and caused me to become pregnant. I understand that you choose not to believe me, and also why. I hope that as you heal, you are able to work through your anger and to come to understand that…I have fallen in love with you. I wanted us to be happy together. As you have made your feelings clear, I will use the time I am away from you to try to come to terms with you not returning that love. And hopefully, even though you do not love me, our life together will at very least contain some level of comfort for both of us."

He released the hell butterfly and watched it flutter away.

"You sent for me, Lord Kuchiki?" said Torio from the doorway.

"Hai. We are leaving for the living world…my private estate. Come."

He released the hell butterfly and he and Torio left the sixth division office. Torio stole sad glances at him as they walked and several times wanted to speak, but couldn't think of what he should say to the obviously depressed noble. Byakuya opened a private senkaimon and the two passed into the precipice world together. Torio moved closer to Byakuya, not liking the darkness and coldness of the precipice world. He shivered, hearing odd noises as they walked, but not wanting to annoy his master with his childish fears. They passed several diverging passages and Byakuya moved through them confidently. They were nearing the exit and Torio was beginning to relax, when all at once, a group of hooded figures appeared ahead of them. As Torio drew his long knife and turned to watch Byakuya's back, several more dark figures appeared behind them. Byakuya quickly raised a barrier of petals and touched a symbol on the back of his attendant's hand.

"Return to the manor and tell Renji…"

He broke off as a huge blast shattered the protective sea of petal blades and the reiatsu rose dangerously. Torio's eyes went wide.

"I can't leave you…"

"Go!" Byakuya hissed, "Hurry and bring help!"

His heart aching with doubt, Torio touched the symbol on his hand again and felt himself start to be pulled away. He cried out sharply as an attack struck as he was disappearing and the heavy reiatsu sent him spinning out of control. The precipice world disappeared and the youth landed hard in a grassy meadow, on the property, but well away from the manor. He started to get up, but felt a tugging on his foot and discovered that someone had been dragged along with him.

He kicked free of the other and rolled to his feet, avoiding several blasts of kido as he flash stepped towards the waterfall ahead of him. His attacker shouted for him to stop, but he flash stepped faster and narrowly avoided another blast of kido. He reached the edge of the lake and began to flash step up the face of the cliff. He made it up the first two thirds and flash stepped again to reach the edge at the top. As his feet touched down, a burst of kido struck the ground at his feet.

Pain exploded in Torio's ankle and the ground collapsed beneath him. He cried out and tried desperately to flash step away, but his ankle screamed with pain and then he was falling. He struck the water with stunning force and sank beneath the surface. He managed a small breath and kicked with his one good leg, trying desperately to make it to the riled water beneath the falls. Random kido strikes hit the water all around, but he managed to reach the waterfall and concealed himself in some bushes, ignoring the thorns and thanking kami for the cover as his pursuer searched around the edges of the lake. He held his breath, his body shaking badly as he caught a glimpse of the face beneath the hood. He stifled a gasp and sank deeper into the brush, doing his best to hide his reiatsu. The other remained for nearly an hour before shaking his head and disappearing. Shaken and ice-cold from being in the water, Torio lifted himself onto the tiny, hidden path behind the waterfall and spent several minutes splinting his foot. As soon as it was stable enough, he stood, ignoring the pain in his ribs and his aching head. He couldn't flash step, but moved with agonizing slowness through the brush, watching the nearby trail for any sign of the man he had seen. He reached the manor fence and climbed over, dropping down and falling onto the trail.

"Torio!" a voice hissed, "What happened?"

The attendant looked up at the distorted face of the one who had discovered him.

"M-michio," he managed, "Y-you must get Master Abarai! Lord Kuchiki and I were attacked in the precipice world. I didn't want to leave, but he made me go! It's…It was…a council member who followed me and tried to keep me from getting back. Michio, we have to get Master Abarai out of here!"

Michio nodded and helped his fellow attendant to his feet. Torio let his weight rest against the other youth as they crossed the gardens and slipped into Renji's darkened room.

"Master Abarai…" Michio said softly.

"Yeah, kid…what is it?" Renji asked in a low voice.

He turned his head to look up at Michio and gasped at the sight of Torio's battered form. The youth's eyes were wide with fear, his skin scratched and bleeding and he leaned heavily against Michio, holding a hand to his bruised head.

"Torio!" he said, sitting up quickly, "What happened?"

"It's Lord Byakuya," the attendant answered desperately, "We were passing through the precipice world to reach the living world…and…and these hooded men surrounded us! He sent me back using the crest on my hand, but one of them grabbed onto me and was dragged here with me. He made me fall from the cliff into the lake by the waterfall, and I hid in the thorn bushes until he left…but Master Abarai! The man who came after me was a council member! I don't know who the others were, but…"

"But they already tried to confine Byakuya once!" Renji said, his eyes flaring, "Damn it! I have some powers back, but I'm not able to use ban kai yet…and there are quite a few of them…and they would been trying to knock him out. They want the heir. They don't give a damn about us. They probably just snapped over him marrying me or something…not like it was our fault. Anyway, I can't do this alone."

He glanced at Torio.

"And I need you to show me where you were, so we can try to track him."

"B-but sir!" objected Torio, "The cleaner might have cleaned away the signs…"

"Then, we'd better hurry."

He lifted himself out of bed somewhat gingerly and picked up Zabimaru. They started towards the door, but heard voices coming towards the room. Renji turned to the two attendants.

"Get out of here and get to Urahara. We'll meet up there."

He opened a senkaimon and the two slipped inside.

"But what about you, Master Abarai?" asked Michio.

"Don't worry about me. Just get the message to Urahara and tell him I ran into some trouble. I'll just bet this has something to do with Byakuya's getting grabbed. I want to find out what they know. But I need you guys to help me track Byakuya when I get to Karakura Town…so go!"

He watched the attendants disappear, then opened the outer door of his room and stepped onto the walkway. Immediately, flash steps sounded all around and the garden filled with council guards.

"Stop!" called the one leading them.

He approached Renji and drew his hood back.

"Councilor Nori," he said in a low, dangerous voice, "What brings you to Kuchiki Manor…after Byakuya ordered you folks to stay clear without his permission?"

"Don't play innocent, Renji Abarai!" said Nori, viciously, "We know you had our leader abducted. We received word that he was taken from the precipice world as he traveled to his estate there. The only one who knew where he was going was you. We know he sent a hell butterfly to you this morning. Now, stop playing games and tell us where he is!"

"What? Are you out of your mind or something?" Renji said angrily, "I haven't left the manor since yesterday, and I'm not fully healed from what happened in the spirit dimension. And why the fuck would I kidnap the guy I'm married to! You're not making any sense!"

"Well, this will make sense to you, Abarai!" Nori exclaimed, "You are under council arrest for suspicion of collaboration with the attendants Torio and Michio in the disappearance of our leader!"

"You're crazy!" Renji insisted as the elite guards closed in around him.

He flash stepped away as stunning kido flashed around him, leapt into the air and flash stepped to the top of the building next to him, then rolled to the side to evade a hail of crawling ropes. He flash stepped over the top of the manor and down into the street as yells went up behind him and the Kuchiki Head Councilor called for help from the Seireitei guards.

"He abducted Lord Byakuya!" called Nori, "Hurry!"

He flash stepped into an alley and opened a family senkaimon.

"They'll raise the alarm and close the main senkaimon, so that way's no good," he mused, "but using the family senkaimon, they're sure to follow!"

He ran through the precipice world, feeling the strain on his healing body. He heard voices and footsteps somewhere behind him, but didn't dare to look back. He flash stepped now, despite the burning in his spirit centers.

"Shit…have to make it…to Urahara…" he hissed.

He turned into a passageway, then immediately took another sharp turn. The voices behind him faded and he slowed, his chest heaving as he caught his breath. He walked quickly, closing in on the entrance to the living world, then jumped back in surprise as a dark form came out of nowhere and grabbed him, dragging him down. He struggled wildly, but then froze as his assailant pulled back his hood and he found himself looking at Byakuya.

"What? What the hell are you doing?" he hissed, "I could have killed you by mistake or something!"

"Not likely," Byakuya said flippantly, "Besides, you were about to walk into a trap. They have the Karakura Town exit blocked. Come with me. I know of another exit we can use."

Renji frowned.

"Why?"

Byakuya met his eyes squarely.

"Because…I am done with them!" he exclaimed, his eyes flaring, "They dared to attack me. They wanted to confine me for the rest of my pregnancy. Then you know that they would have taken our baby. Nori was planning to set himself up as our child's mentor. He would either have killed you and me or had me declared insane and you imprisoned."

Renji gave a short, sarcastic laugh.

"See," he said, his voice betraying more than a little affection, "I told you your family was fucked up!"

"Well…they might have made me miserable all of these years, but I won't let them ruin our child's life. I am leaving until this child is born. I am taking you away so you can get well and I can have this baby without them interfering. And when that is done, we will return together and reclaim what is ours!"

Renji couldn't help but smile.

"You're really pissed at them, aren't you?" he laughed.

"They attacked me…and Torio. I don't even know what happened to him."

"He's all right. I told Michio to take him and get to Urahara's place. He'll make sure those council members don't find them."

He went quiet for a moment as he followed Byakuya along a dark passage.

"Look," he said finally, "I guess you were telling me the truth before…"

"Renji…don't apologize. I understand why you didn't believe me. I handled things badly before. I really didn't give proper consideration to your feelings or what you would want."

"Yeah…like I was so much better," Renji said, shaking his head, "demanding sex from you like you were some kind of…servant. And I acted out recklessly and ended up hurting you…"

"Well…neither of us expected to even be together. We were tied together and set afloat on our own. We just had establish some kind of balance…and we both got hurt along the way. But I won't let that happen anymore," Byakuya promised, "We may not have chosen each other before, but Renji…I choose you now. I am ready to build a family with you. I want to have this baby, then return and take back what is ours, once we're both strong enough to defend it again. But you need time for healing…and I need to have a peaceful, safe place to bear this little one…"

Renji stopped and gently pulled Byakuya to a stop as well. He placed his hands on the noble's face, smiling at his curious expression, then leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips. He met the dark, surprised eyes warmly.

"Then…I choose you, too, Byakuya. I guess it doesn't matter anymore why we were thrown together…just that we make the best future together that we can…for us and for our kids."

Byakuya's eyebrows rose.

"Kids?" he asked.

Renji smiled.

"Well…Nori tampered with things to make you get pregnant. You can still get me pregnant, right?"

Byakuya blinked.

"You…would want that?" he asked softly, "even knowing what a fucked up family I come from?"

Renji chuckled.

"Well…it's not like I can leave. We're already having one kid. Tell you what. After we show those bastards they shouldn't mess with us…we'll make that second baby together."

Byakuya stared.

"What?" Renji asked, looking around them, "Did you see someone following us or something?"

"No," Byakuya said, smile touching his lips, "I just like seeing your spirit return. You haven't been yourself since before this all happened. But it's like the person I remember is coming back…"

"And that's…good?" Renji asked.

"Yes…that's good," Byakuya said, sinking more deeply into his arms.

They stood in silence, exchanging slow, deep kisses in the now silent passageway.

"So…" said Renji, pulling away for a moment, "How far is this place you're taking us to?"

"Not far," Byakuya assured him, "but it is private…and they don't know about it. We'll be safe."

"Oh, I know that. I was just asking, because I was really enjoying kissing you. I was thinking that when we got to where we are going, we might lie down together…warm each other…get used to each other again."

Byakuya turned his head to hide the instant blush Renji's words caused.

"I think I would like that," he managed.

He took Renji's hand and led him on through the dark passageways and out into the living world.


	15. Finding Balance

**Chapter 15: Finding Balance**

"This place is great, Byakuya," commented Renji as he followed the noble into the mansion and Byakuya closed the door behind them.

It didn't get past Renji that Byakuya had been relatively silent most of the way there, or that immediately upon their arrival, he activated the security system and made sure their reiatsu was carefully masked. But then, he reasoned that it made sense that he would be on his guard after what the elders had done.

"Look, if you'll point me in the right direction," he said, looking around the spacious interior, "I will make the two of us some tea."

He followed Byakuya's gesture to the large kitchen and quickly prepared the tea, then he returned to where they had come into the house and looked around. He spotted the noble out in the gardens, sitting quietly beneath one of the shade trees. He dropped onto his knees in front of Byakuya and handed him one cup, then sipped at his own and waited for the noble to say something. But Byakuya just continued to sit silently in the cool shade beneath the tree, with his untouched tea at his side. And Renji could sense the internal war going on inside him, even as he remained calm and unruffled at the surface.

"Byakuya," he said finally, "why don't you tell me what's bothering you? Maybe it will help to just put it out there and deal with it. Are you upset with me?"

There was only a slight deepening of breath to signal that the noble had, indeed, heard him. He remained silent and contemplative for several more long minutes before sighing and picking up his tea. He took a sip and set it down again, then sat, gazing down at his hands.

"I'm not upset with you," he said finally, "I'm just…weary. In a way, I'm afraid to move, because every time I move, I do something to rile you. And I do not want you to be so angry with me anymore."

Renji let out a soft breath and moved closer.

"You're right," he admitted softly, "It seems like I haven't stopped feeling angry since all of this crap started. It's just that I basically had my life yanked out of my hands and turned upside down. And I admit that I blamed you. And it's not fair for me to have done that. You didn't ask for this."

"But neither did I make things any easier for you. I kept what I knew to myself and left you to your own devices. And then I made things worse by trying to push you into a life you just didn't want."

"Stop, will you?" Renji said, shaking his head, "Because really, I made it impossible for you to tell me anything. I was so busy being angry, I wouldn't have really heard you if you had told me anything. I was so pissed off at the unfairness of what was happening, that I forgot that it wasn't just happening to me."

"But you right, Renji," Byakuya said quietly, "Your whole life came down around you…and when we came back, mine didn't change so greatly. I still had my manor, my servants, my powers…"

Renji tightened his lips and shook his head again.

"None of that shit matters," he said firmly, "because that's not what you're about."

He took a slow breath and let it out soundlessly.

"You know, when I actually slowed down and started to think straight again, I realized that this thing hit you where it hurts the most."

"How do you mean?" Byakuya asked, meeting his eyes warily.

"Before I came along, the only experience you had at being in a relationship was with someone you loved, and who loved you back. And when I thought that through, it occurred to me that…even though you live physically in that manor, surrounded by responsibilities, servants, and your family, the place you really live…is inside yourself."

"I don't understand," the noble said, looking back at him curiously.

Renji smiled.

"You spend most of your time inside your head," he explained, "Your body does all of the things that are required, reports, meetings, seeing to duty, looking respectful, being dignified, but inside your head, you are in a completely different place. You look like you're here, but half the time, you're a million miles away. Because, let's face it. You weren't really happy before this all happened to us…and you've really only become more unhappy ever since. I knew that all along. But I was so busy feeling sorry for myself, I overlooked it. I lumped you in with your scheming relatives and turned on you, when I should have been commiserating with you. And I missed more than a few chances to work with you to make this easier for both of us. And in the end, a good portion of the hurt ended up landing on you."

"Abarai, you do not have to go back and rewrite everything. I deserved every bit of criticism you handed me. I was awful."

"Yeah?" said Renji, raising an eyebrow, "Well, I was fucking sadistic. I get sick thinking of how furious I was…and how I took everything out on you. Byakuya, maybe you made mistakes, but you kept trying to reach out to me. You tried to make me as comfortable as you could in your home…and you offered me an honest relationship, which I then threw back in your face by having sex with you to prove a point. And then, when I saw what I'd done to you, I still blamed you. Instead of feeling bad about hurting you, I was just hurt because I felt threatened by what you felt for Hisana. I was jealous. And you never even gave me any real reason to be. You gave me chance after chance to really try to be an equal partner, but I never gave you a chance to be anything."

"Stop," Byakuya said wearily, "You don't need to apologize…or to rationalize. It's enough for me that you finally believe I wasn't trying to trap you into having our child. I think it is really best that the burden fell onto me instead. You've endured enough at the hands of this cursed family."

"Hey," said the redhead, placing a hand on the noble's face and moving in closer, "You've put up with their shit way longer than I have…and they've hurt you too. But they inadvertently gave us our freedom. Because by being so horrid and tricking you into having our baby, they made the three of us into a family. And for some reason…I think you and I are better off this way…and without their interference. We have to go back and face them, sure. But when we do, we'll be facing them together."

Byakuya gazed at him quietly for a moment, then closed the distance between them and settled against the redhead's muscular shoulder. Renji's arms closed around him and the redhead's hands tightened on him. Byakuya sighed tiredly and closed his eyes, surrendering fully then to the need to just be held and warmed by Renji's now calm and warm arms.

Renji rested his face in a soft swell of sakura scented hair and let his fingers run through it absently as Byakuya's breathing slowed and fell into a steady rise and fall. Renji smiled then at just how good it felt to hold a relaxed and sleeping Byakuya in his arms. He planted a soft kiss on top of his head and let a hand slip down to work its way beneath his clothes and to rest against his bare abdomen. His smile widened as he felt the soft throb of their baby's reiatsu. Whatever he might have thought about the circumstances that had brought them together or what had led to his return to Byakuya, he had to admit that it felt wonderful to feel Byakuya's body resting against his and to know that their baby was growing inside him.

_I grew up without parents. So I don't really know what they felt about me. But I know how I feel about this little one. I feel this little tiny flutter of life and all I want to do is to hold it close and keep it safe. And I don't just feel that way about our baby. I feel that way about Byakuya too. I don't want those bastards to get to him again. They've put both of us through enough already. Now, I just want them to leave us the hell alone and let us have this small bit of happiness together. Yeah, I think we could be happy if we each just reach a little bit in each other's direction._

He nuzzled the sleeping noble's cheek and kissed the warm, pliant lips. Byakuya's eyes opened and fixed on him. He caught his breath softly at the feel of Renji's hand caressing his abdomen. His eyes remained locked on the redhead's as Renji's kisses deepened and his hand slid down further, brushing against Byakuya's awakening arousal, stopping to wrap around the soft sac at its base, then sliding down even more to tease his entrance. The noble's gray eyes widened as he was gently lowered into his back and Renji slowly loosened his clothing, then removed it piece by piece. Within minutes, he lay on his back, fully bared and gazing up at an equally naked, Renji Abarai.

"Your tattoos," he observed, letting his fingers play over the flesh of the redhead's chest, "They look like they did before…like nothing ever happened."

Renji smiled and captured Byakuya's hand in his. He brought it to his lips for a moment, then released it and lowered his body onto the noble's. He fastened his mouth on Byakuya's and moved his hips, sliding his length along the noble's, while thrusting his tongue between the soft, parted lips and probing deeply…tasting and teasing until a shiver passed through Byakuya's body and the noble began to respond.

Renji caught his breath and then lost it again as Byakuya's hips thrust upward into his, and the noble's tongue caressed his hungrily, as though he lived for every touch. He felt a twinge of sadness, thinking how he had mistrusted and hurt Byakuya, and through their deepening connection, he could sense that even though things were getting better, the noble was still hurting inside. He accepted Renji's affection readily enough, but as his soul bonded, Renji couldn't help but sense the pathways of his thoughts. And as he did so, he found them returning to the hurt he had felt when Renji refused to believe him, when the redhead had abandoned him…gotten so drunk he couldn't think straight, and had ended up in bed with Nori's servant girl.

_And he heard my stupid, drunken thought that all I wanted to do in that moment was to feel someone other than him with me. Drunk or not, it was a painful betrayal and if I want to be with him, I have to deal with that pain I caused him…_

He pulled back for a moment and took the noble's face in his hands, locking their eyes together.

"I know you said I didn't have to say it," he whispered, "but I'm sorry. I'm sorry for hurting you."

Byakuya sighed softly and nodded in response.

"I'm sorry too," he said, blinking slowly.

"I was wrong before," Renji went on, "when I told you there was nothing between us, and that we wouldn't be able to make this work. I think we do have all we need to hold ourselves together…and I want to try."

Byakuya's lips twitched softly, as though they wanted to smile, and his eyes warmed as Renji started kissing him again.

"I want that too," he whispered back.

Relief settled over the redhead as the heavy emotion around his soul bonded's heart fell away and Byakuya became as calm and relaxed inside as he was on the surface. The noble's graceful hands rose and the slender fingers quietly explored the redhead's newly returned tattoos as Renji carefully prepared him, then sank down between his parted thighs.

And this time, he looked affectionately into the dark, lovely eyes as he took Byakuya. He wished, with a twinge of guilt that he had done it this way before, because the noble's eyes went from beautiful to achingly entrancing as they misted and hazed over with growing arousal. He clung to the redhead's shoulders as Renji entered him with short, gentle thrusts that left him panting softly and nearly undone.

He sank deeply into the noble's open mouth and devoured a hungry moan, then began thrusting into him. A groan of contentment escaped him as the noble's hands slid down his body and settled onto his hips, pulling them in harder and faster as the intensity of their pleasure grew. He lifted himself slightly, angling his thrusts so that he thrust into the center of pleasure inside the noble. Byakuya gasped, then released a wave of soft, passionate cries as hot seed erupted out of him and pulsed onto their skin. Renji clung to Byakuya's body, moaning heatedly as he held himself deep inside the noble and emptied himself in mind numbing twinges of intense pleasure. He collapsed breathlessly onto the noble and remained there, feeding his lover soft, affectionate kisses as they drifted off in the cool shade beneath the tree. They woke as the sun was setting and rested peacefully in each other's arms, watching as the light faded and the sky filled with stars and a lovely, bright moon. Renji's hand slipped down to rest on Byakuya's abdomen again, bringing a smile to the noble's normally frowning lips.

"Byakuya," said the redhead in a soft, sleepy voice, "what do you think our kid will look like?"

"I hope he or she favors you," the noble replied, blinking and letting his eyes close, "I'm rather partial to red hair and skin that tans instead of just burning, like mine does."

"I'd like our kid to have your eyes…and your little fingers. I'd hate to see him or her stuck with my big, stubby fingers."

"Do you hear me complaining about your hands, Abarai?" the noble asked, taking one of Renji's hands and kissing his fingers one by one, "I love the way your hands feel when they touch me. As cold as I get to feeling inside sometimes, your hands warm me all of the way through, Renji."

"Good," said the redhead, sinking his fingers into the noble's soft, black hair and pulling him into a long, wet kiss, "You've been alone for long enough. I think we both deserve to be happy. And I think we can be now. Now that we've gotten away from those people. I know we can't stay away forever…that eventually we have to go back and face them, but we'll be stronger then. And they'll realize then that they can't come between us anymore."

"No," Byakuya agreed solemnly, "They can't."

They drifted off for a time, then Renji woke and, mindful of Byakuya's condition, slipped back into the house to make something for the two of them to eat. When he returned some time later, he found himself staring at Byakuya's bared and glowing, moonlit form that rested so contentedly beneath the tree. He hadn't the heart to wake his comfortably sleeping soul mate, so he settled down next to him and ate slowly, enjoying the cool air and the gentle shine of the moon and stars.

Byakuya woke some time later, looking uncomfortable and pale. He rose without speaking and flash stepped back into the house. Renji followed and waited until he emerged from the bathroom, still looking pale, but having regained his equilibrium. He recovered relatively quickly, and even managed to eat a little of the food Renji had prepared, before stumbling down the hallway and falling rather gracelessly into bed. He was asleep again almost immediately.

Renji chuckled softly and extinguished the lights, then secured the house and walked back to join the noble in bed. He curled around Byakuya's body, letting his hand settle over the soft, pulsing reiatsu of their baby. As he drifted towards sleep, he let that little flare of life enter his heart and found himself feeling more alive than he had since returning from the spirit dimension.

_We both took a lot of damage in that place. And I wondered at the time why the hell we would have been chosen. We were…and we are still worlds apart in many ways. But in other ways, Byakuya and I complement each other. We complete each other. And I guess that explains it…why we can take the little that we started with and turn it into a family. Neither of us really had a close family growing up. His parents died, leaving him with those stuffy elders running his life, and I didn't have a family at all…well, except for the group of us kids that stuck together to survive. But even though we didn't have it ourselves, I think we know what a family feels like. And we're going to have that, despite whatever nasty tricks those people have up their sleeves._

_We just have to watch out for each other…_

_We just have to take care of each other…_

_I want to now._


	16. In the Gardens

**Chapter 16: In the Gardens**

**(LOL, I actually finished this request for Ren Renji last night, and fell asleep while editing. Enjoy! Love, Spunky)**

Renji woke in the late morning to find himself alone in bed. He turned onto his stomach, rolling over onto Byakuya's pillow and lazily enjoying the scents of sakura and Byakuya. It was almost enough to keep him in bed, but he decided that Byakuya's company was a much more immediate desire.

He climbed out of bed and left the bedroom, passing by the bathroom that was still warm and steamy from Byakuya showering, then he walked into the kitchen, half expecting the noble to be there eating his breakfast. But the kitchen was empty and he sensed that Byakuya was in the garden. He left the kitchen and walked back to the sliding glass door, and spotted Byakuya kneeling in front of an empty flowerbed with his palms on the ground in front of him.

Renji moved closer, watching curiously as calm reiatsu flared softly around his hands, and in the flowerbed in front of him, the soil began to tremble softly. Slowly, tender green stems emerged, then green leaves gently unfurled and opened to the sunlight. Blossoms formed on the plants and opened themselves to the sun, their color rising out of the sea of green and transforming it.

"Beautiful…" he breathed, not meaning to speak aloud.

Byakuya didn't turn his head, but Renji could feel that he face wore a warm, happy smile. He moved closer and dropped down next to the noble, turning his head to look at him.

"Where did you learn to do that?" he asked, looking at the newly grown flowerbed.

Byakuya's hand slipped into his and squeezed gently.

"All shinigamis have the ability to make things grow," he explained, "Our reiatsu is highly charged with creative forces. All we have to do is to shape and direct it."

"But," said Renji, "Who taught you to do that?"

The noble lowered his head and placed his palms on the soil again.

"My father," he said, almost tonelessly.

Renji watched as more flowers grew up around his hands.

"Your father?" he repeated, trying to remember if Byakuya had ever spoken about his father before.

"Yes."

There was an odd tremor in Byakuya's voice that spoke volumes to Renji about the depth of feeling that the noble must have had for this man that he now never seemed to speak of.

"What was he like?" he asked softly, "I don't think you've ever told me about him."

"That's because there isn't much to say," Byakuya sighed.

Renji furrowed his brow questioningly.

"How can you say that, Byakuya? He was your dad, right? What's wrong? He wasn't like the elders, was he?"

"My father was nothing like those people," Byakuya said, his voice low and angry, "If he had been more like them, then maybe he would still be here."

He stopped himself, guilt rising in his eyes.

"I'm sorry," he said, in a way that suggested that the apology wasn't so much to Renji as the man they were discussing, "I shouldn't make it sound as though I blame him for dying. I did, at first, but it was only because I was just a child, and didn't realize…"

"Realize what?" Renji asked, slipping a warm hand into one that was slightly chilled and decorated with dark earth.

Byakuya bit his lips softly, as though it was painful to contemplate saying the words.

"It wasn't his fault," Byakuya said, his voice sounding tired and lost, "If he had had his choice, he wouldn't have served in the military. He only did because it was expected of him. And he loved my grandfather too much too dishonor him by opting for a different path."

"You mean…he didn't want to be heir?"

Byakuya nodded.

"He never said it out loud and I only realized it after much soul searching, but when I thought about it, I realized that I should have known it all along. My father was a gentle, loving person. He loved history, astronomy, mythology and the arts. He could sing beautifully and was a wonderful storyteller. He said that one of the most beautiful things that my mother ever said to him was that she could sit and listen to his stories forever. I have to agree. He did have a gift for storytelling."

He went quiet for a moment, letting his fingers play over the petals of one of the flowers he had grown.

"We used to slip outside after bedtime and lie under the stars, and he would tell me about the constellations and the myths that went with them. Sometimes, I would fall asleep listening to him, and he would carry me back to my room. Now and then, I would wake when he lifted me, but I would lie quietly in his arms, because it was so pleasant to be held that way."

"That sounds…great, Byakuya," Renji said, smiling at the mental image.

"I hated it when he left, and I was alone with the servants and attendants…people telling me to mind my responsibilities and my behavior. He always took his leave of me in the same way. He would touch my face and tell me, 'Take care of things here for me, _segare_. I will return to you soon.' He did that, even that last day."

The pale fingers of the noble's free hand trailed downward, and he began to sift through the soil absently.

"He never should have served in the military," he said softly, "His heart wasn't in it. But he did it for his father…as an expression of love and respect. And even though he never reached ban kai, he performed respectably and died honorably in battle."

"He sounds like he was a really great father. He made you feel loved and cared about."

"Everyone loved and respected him…except perhaps the elders. He never indicated anything in his behavior, but having endured years of their nonsense, I imagine they made him feel…as though he fell short of expectations. But considering he was not blessed with sturdiness of body or very strong reiatsu, he went well beyond expectation in earning fukutaichou rank."

"You are…proud of him."

Byakuya's eyes misted gently and his voice shook slightly when he spoke again.

"I am…and I am proud to be his son. And…I am so…honored…to be able to carry on his legacy. If there is a gift in all that has happened to us, it is that. I can finally give him the honored gift of continuance. His life, his memory, that he entrusted to me, will be passed on to this one inside me. And I will pass on the gifts I was given. So, I cannot be sorry, despite the difficulty of what we have endured."

"Well," said Renji, brushing his face gently against the noble's, "Just so you know…I don't regret it anymore either. Really."

"You don't?" Byakuya asked, meeting his eyes warily.

"No," said Renji, shaking his head, "I don't. Because as much as my life was all right…as much as it was 'fine,' something was always missing. I had all of the things I thought I wanted…freedom to do what I wanted, lots of friends and work I felt good about. But being with you…the way we're together now? It makes me think that _you_ were what was missing from my life. Everything changed when we were soul bonded."

"But it made you so unhappy…so angry…" Byakuya said, looking confused.

"Yeah," Renji agreed, "But…I was really just angry because I didn't believe you would honestly try to make this into a real love relationship. All of this time, I was furious with you, because I thought you couldn't possibly love me…and that I would never have another real lover again. The thing is…I was wrong about that. You did make an honest effort…and you did open your heart to me. _I_ was the one who held back…and didn't try as hard. I gave up a long time before I should have. And you and I both suffered for that."

"Renji…" Byakuya whispered, bringing his lips to the redhead's.

"I'm sorry," Renji whispered, kissing the noble's lips gently and sliding his arms around him, "I'm really sorry."

"I'm sorry too," said Byakuya, "Because I didn't trust you and confide in you. I left you in the dark about what was happening, and you were hurt because of that."

"So…we both made some big mistakes," said Renji, smiling and kissing him again, "but the good news is that we are both here…that we're together…and that we're both committed to making this work."

He paused for a moment as a look of discomfort crossed the noble's face.

"You okay?" he asked, rubbing the noble's abdomen lightly, "Something hurt?"

"I…I feel a bit dizzy…a little…"

Renji helped the noble to his feet, keeping his hands on him to steady him. Byakuya stood for a moment, breathing slowly and rubbing his belly, then took a step before making a sound of distress and collapsing into Renji's arms.

"Byakuya? Byakuya…come on, are you okay? Byakuya!"

"Something is wrong," Byakuya said, panting softly and holding a hand to his midsection, "It hurts more than it should. Renji…"

The redhead swept him off his feet and flash stepped out of the house. As they moved through the darkness, Byakuya's hands tightened on him, and the noble's voice issued softly in his ear.

"You…masked our reiatsu? I tried…but I can't…"

"It's all right," said Renji, "I took care of it. Hang on. We'll be at Kisuke's shop really soon."

Byakuya nodded and rested his head on the redhead's shoulder, closing his eyes against the awful dizziness and feeling of illness as Renji flash stepped along. They crossed a park and ran down several streets, then ran up another street and into the shop. Renji slid to a stop in front of Tessai, his eyes wide with concern.

"Am I ever glad to see you!" exclaimed Renji, "Is Kisuke here?"

"Yes, he is," Tessai answered, nodding and gesturing for Renji to carry the noble into one of the bedrooms, "Why don't you make Captain Kuchiki comfortable and I'll go and bring him."

Renji followed him into the bedroom and set Byakuya back on his feet. Byakuya leaned heavily against him, panting softly, as though he had been exerting himself heavily. Renji helped him sit down on the bed, then went to the closet and brought him a spare yukata. Byakuya slipped out of the kimono he was wearing and donned the yukata and laid down in the bed on his side. A moment later, Kisuke entered the room.

"I heard there was some trouble in here," he said quickly.

"Yeah," said Renji, You know our situation, right?"

"Right," said the shopkeeper, "The two attendants from Kuchiki Manor filled me in on everything. And don't worry. As soon as I knew it was you, I made sure the place was shielded. No one's going to sense you here. We just have to hope no one saw or sensed you on the way in."

"I don't think anyone did," said Renji, "At least, I didn't see or sense anyone, although my focus was really on him."

"Kisuke," Byakuya said, sounding concerned, "Are Michio and Torio all right?"

"Yeah, they're fine," Kisuke assured him, "And as soon as you are feeling better, they can go with you. I was just concealing their presence here until we had a chance to talk."

Renji sat down on the edge of the bed, watching as the shopkeeper bared Byakuya's abdomen and examined the area, first visually, then by using his reiatsu to scan the noble's body.

"Nothing to worry about, Captain Kuchiki," Kisuke said calmly, "Your reiatsu is a little unbalanced. It's easy enough to fix. It'll just take a few minutes."

"It sure was a flashy collapse for such a minor thing," Renji complained, smirking.

"Actually," said Kisuke, "It's minor now because he's in the early stages, but as he progresses, you will have to help him keep his reiatsu stable. It's okay for it to be out of balance for short periods of time, but the longer it remains that way, the more chance there is of damage to the growing reiatsu."

Renji sighed resignedly.

"You just seem to really be good at causing trouble!" he said with mock exaggeration.

"That's all right," said Byakuya, smirking, "My vice captain has proven on a number of occasions his ability to give trouble a taste of its own medicine."

"Oh…so you two have patched things up, ne?" asked Kisuke, "Poor Torio and Michio practically went manic depressive trying to explain what was going on…the way you two keep going through swells of love and hatred."

"Well," said Byakuya, looking up at Renji, "We have just decided that we have enough other people attempting to make us miserable, so if we want to avoid misery, we really must combine our efforts against them."

"Well, whatever works, I guess," Kisuke chuckled, removing his hands from the noble's abdomen.

Renji looked down at Byakuya's still exposed belly and frowned questioningly.

"What is it?" Byakuya asked, following the path of his gaze.

He caught his breath softly at the sight of the small rounded bump that had grown on his abdomen.

"Well, _that_ wasn't there this morning!" Renji said, touching the bump experimentally with a fingertip.

"No," agreed Kisuke, "You see, unlike human pregnancies, ours are reiatsu based rather than physical. Each time we stabilize the reiatsu, it will grow a little."

"How big will it get?" asked Byakuya, "Will I need to have new clothing made?"

"Naw," Kisuke said, shaking his head, "But you might have to confine yourself to your looser clothing."

"And what will happen when he has the baby?" asked Renji nervously, "I mean, will it be really painful? Will it be like…well…"

"You guys are lucky," Kisuke said, smiling, "The reiatsu flares will be somewhat painful, and they will have to be carefully managed so that they don't go out of control. I've already been training Michio and Torio to help you, just in case, for some reason, you are without a healer to help with the birth."

"Erm…one more question," said Renji, flushing slightly, "How does the baby…get out of him?"

Kisuke laughed.

"Don't worry, Renji," he assured the redhead, "Again, it's not like a human birth. The reiatsu will simply swell and emerge from his body."

"Huh, like the king just emerged out of me?" Renji mused, "Well, it may sound less painful, but I felt like my body was coming apart! You need to make sure you give him something to take so he doesn't hurt like that!"

"Renji," said Byakuya tolerantly, "I am touched by your concern for me, of course, but I am not birthing the spirit king. This will be a normal shinigami child."

"A _normal_ shinigami child?" laughed Kisuke, "Coming from the two of you? Captain Kuchiki, it must be the hormones, because I never knew you to be so funny! Two ban kai wielding parents having a normal shinigami child! That's hilarious!"

"I am so pleased to have entertained you," said Byakuya, dryly, "But one never knows what will happen. Neither of my parents had a ban kai, and yet I do. I am sure that the reverse happens as well."

"Well, ban kai or no ban kai, our kid's going to kick hollow ass with the best of them!" chuckled Renji, "The Gotei 13 had better watch out!"

"I think we should hope he or she is born with red hair, so as to warn everyone of the danger," commented Byakuya, almost smiling.

"Oh my kami," said Kisuke, "Two jokes out of you in two minutes! If you weren't knocked up, I'd be afraid the world was ending."

"Hey," said Renji, "Stop annoying my husband. He's supposed to be avoiding stress!"

"I am married to you, Abarai," Byakuya said, narrowing his eyes, "That in and of itself dictates a certain amount of stress."

"Holy crow, three jokes now!" mused Kisuke, "Take it easy, Captain. I don't think we can take much more."

"Get outta here, will you?" Renji laughed, giving the shopkeeper a friendly shove, "I want to be alone with Byakuya."

"Ah…" said Kisuke, "I see how it is. You're nice enough when you want something, but then as soon as you're out of the woods…"

"We are certainly grateful for your assistance," Byakuya assured him, "But I think my life partner's territorial instincts were piqued by your examination of my bared belly and he needs to reassert his dominance."

"Sure," Kisuke said, raising an eyebrow.

He winked at Renji.

"He's all yours now…whips and chains are in the closet…"

"I don't think that's what he meant by dominance," Renji laughed, "Although…"

"I'm willing if you are," Byakuya said blithely.

"Oh shit, that's four jokes…" mused Kisuke, starting towards the door.

"_Who was joking_?" Byakuya asked, freezing Renji with a decidedly hungry expression.


	17. Expectation

**Chapter 17: Expectation**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

**(Huh, can't find the PM to tell me who the heck asked for this, but it was a while ago, so whoever that was...enjoy! All the rest of you enjoy too! Spunky's going to start on the active list now. Trying to post on two more stories today. Crossing my fingers!)**

**(Several Months Later)**

You look like you're glad to be back in our little hideout," Renji commented, smiling as Torio deposited a large tray of food in front of the noble, where he sat in bed.

"I am," agreed Byakuya, "Although I need to get out occasionally and I do appreciate having competent people watching over me during my gestation, I rather dislike spending too much time around Urahara and his cohorts."

"I feel your pain," Renji said, shaking his head, "You're right that Kisuke and those kids are pretty damned merciless with the teasing."

He stifled an amused chuckle as the normally stoic and proper noble dove into his meal, looking as though he had been deprived of food nearly to the end of his tolerance.

"Hey, don't make a mistake and devour your fingers," he joked.

Byakuya frowned at him and continued eating.

"Although, watching you put that food away like that is strangely sexy..."

"Wh...what?" queried Byakuya, looking offended.

"Don't get mad," Renji laughed, sliding into the bed beside him and stealing a bread roll from his tray, "You're just really cute when you are eating, that's all."

"You must be drunk on the pheromones I'm secreting because of the pregnancy," Byakuya concluded, scowling at the redhead as Renji blocked his hand as he tried to take a bite of his food, and attacked his mouth with sharp, nipping kisses.

"Yeah, probably, but whatever the reason, I just want to slow down and enjoy this."

Byakuya gave him a slightly nostalgic smile.

"Well, we certainly have no shortage of time while I gestate. And you will not find me resistant to any advances you make..."

He captured Renji's hand as he tried to steal a bite of the noble's dessert.

"As long as you are respectful of certain boundaries, of course," he said, glaring at the redhead.

"O-kay..." mused the redhead, "He suddenly likes sweets now."

"What? I do not," insisted the noble.

"Well, you couldn't tell by the way you nearly took my arm off when I tried to steal your dessert. And come to think of it, why even _have _dessert if you don't like sweets?"

"I do not _like_ sweets," Byakuya explained, "but apparently, pregnancy makes me _crave_ savory, spicy and sweet."

"All at once?" queried the redhead, laughing as he made another try at Byakuya's dessert and had his hand swatted away by the petulant noble.

"Sheesh, not very generous today, are you?" he said, pretending to sulk.

"I am showing acceptable generosity in not tossing you off the bed for trying to abscond with my meal. I thought you just ate."

"I did, but Torio's a damned good cook. I'm gonna get fat if he keeps this up."

"Then perhaps, to make sure that neither of us suffers the effects of inactivity, we should go for a long walk."

"But you're still eating," the redhead objected, "and judging by the size of that cute little pot belly of yours, I think the kid won't be satisfied if you eat like a bird."

Byakuya frowned.

"I've been eating constantly since I woke," he said, sounding offended, "and you should know that in actuality, birds eat quite a large amount in comparison to their weight. And how dare you refer to the pregnant rounding on my abdomen as a 'pot belly!' If you continue to annoy me, you can just sleep in one of the extra bedrooms. I'll likely get more sleep anyway without you snoring so loudly all night!"

"Ooh, sorry there," Renji chuckled, "Touched a nerve, huh? All right, all right, I'm sorry I said anything about your eating habits or your very adorable, _normal for pregnancy_, belly! M-maybe we should just take that walk. I think you've been inside too much today. You're kinda cranky."

"Very well," the noble replied, "But I _would _rather like to finish eating first."

"That is all right," said Torio, "Michio still needs to assist Abarai-san with his bathing and dressing, so he can keep him occupied so that he will not continue to try to steal your food."

"Ah...all right," sighed Renji, "I guess I can resign myself to go and get pampered for awhile while you finish stuffing yourself."

"One more word, Abarai!" Byakuya said, shaking his head and turning his attention back to his meal as Renji walked out the door.

His eyes turned more solemn as the liveliness of Renji's presence left him.

"Torio," he said quietly, "Would you go and prepare my clothing?"

"Of course, sir," the young man said amiably, "I will be right back to collect your dishes."

Byakuya waited until Torio had gone to set aside his food and climb out of bed. He moved out of the room and into the gardens, where he dropped down beneath his favorite sakura tree.

_I do not know what is wrong with me. There is nothing but peace and contentment around me now. I have no real responsibilities, no pressures, no expectations placed upon me. As much as it was a relief to leave the Seireitei, to get away from those manipulating bastards, I cannot help but remember who I was...how my grandfather told me that it eased his mind to know that they would not be left to their own devices, but would be guided by one with vision, passion and dedication. Our house is a prideful house, and keeping our place amongst the noble houses is no easy thing._

_I wonder if they still search for us, or if they believe that I will not return now, and they have gone on. I wonder if they have taken possession of the manor, if they have changed the buildings or gardens, or if everything is as it was before, and the only thing that has changed is me._

_I thought that all I wanted was to be with Renji and to share the bearing and raising of this child with him. But there is, it seems much more to who I am than that. When my father died, when my grandfather left to serve the king, they each gave over to me a sacred trust. Without words, they told me that they wanted me to preserve their legacy, to hold together these vain and sometimes reckless people that are our family, and to set an example of what nobility is really supposed to be._

_I knew that they were not the essence of nobility. It is not about the material things, about the wealth or the privileges. Nobility is being a strong example to others...to express the values that we and the others should strive for...the values that make Renji and I such a good match for each other. Love. Dedication. Protection. Pursuit of excellence. Adherence to our laws. Honesty. Dignity. Honor. But, hidden away as we are, we keep these values to ourselves. We have abandoned many of the ones that I was responsible for. Yes, they were horrid and their behavior was unforgivable. But my father and grandfather entrusted them to me, and my heart knows that I am responsible, even though I have come away from them to have this child without their interference. After our child is born, I am going to have to return to set things right again. I know that I told Renji that I didn't need to return, that I was done with them and not going back._

_If not for what I promised my father and grandfather, I might be able to do that. But having made those promises, I cannot make a lie of them. I have no choice but to honor them. But how will I make Renji understand? He has never had any family but the ones he made...first as a brother figure to Rukia, then as a spouse to me. To Renji, it is simple and straightforward. Those people hurt us, so we should be rid of them. Letting go of them is no weight to him because he is used to thinking of family as something you choose and build yourself. But, he wasn't born into a family that someone trusts him to take care of, as wicked as they can be._

_So, how will I make him understand?_

Byakuya felt tears in his eyes and, impacted by the hormones of pregnancy, had no ability to hold them back. He sat very still, making no sound and letting them run freely down his proud face, trying not to think of how weak he must seem, compared to the strong person he had been.

_I won't be sorry for leaving as I did. But the truth is that my leaving hurt the stability of our family and threatened the legacy that this child would have inherited. I would have offered this child a chance to lead our family, to make the Kuchiki family worthy of that place it holds in our society. Yes, that is what this comes down to...freedom or legacy. Renji values freedom over legacy, and there is nothing wrong with him doing that. He grew up thinking of building a legacy by creating a family. I grew up with a family already in place and the responsibility of maintaining our legacy._

_But...if Renji works towards building a legacy, then does that mean that he actually does favor legacy? Or is he trying to honor both?_

_I do not know what to do now._

_I was so hurt and infuriated by what they tried to do to us. But really, it is not all of them, but a select few powerful ones among them. There are many in the family who never did me any wrong, who gave me their trust when I became their leader. And whatever the circumstances, when I left the family, I violated that trust. I hurt those who never did me any wrong, and I failed to take care of them, as was my responsibility._

_Is it right for me to wash my hands of them?_

_To abandon them and leave them to those traitors?_

"Lord Byakuya..." Torio whispered, looking out through the garden doors and spotting the forlorn looking figure, kneeling beneath the sakura tree and shedding silent tears, "Why is your heart so burdened?"

He watched quietly for a moment, then turned back and walked back to the bedroom, where Michio was just finishing dressing Renji. The redhead glanced up at him, smiling as he entered the room.

"Hey, Torio," Renji said casually, "Where's my lovely, pregnant spouse? You lose him somewhere?"

"Erm...n-not exactly, Master Abarai. I know where he is, but..."

Renji's grin faded slightly.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, "He's not sick, right? I knew he shouldn't have eaten all of that..."

"He is not ill," said Torio, shaking his head, "But, he is not well, either."

"What's that mean? He's either okay or not. And if he's not, then what are we doing talking about it? We should be doing something to fix it."

"Ah...I do not know if it is something that will be easy to fix. Master Abarai, I have noticed a melancholy about him lately."

"Yeah," agreed Renji, "I've noticed it too. But, pregnant people often suffer from that. It isn't strange."

"But...it is not just that he is depressed, sir. He often sheds tears. It is odd, though. He just sits there quietly and looks perfectly calm, but tears run down his face and he just looks so...lonely."

"Is he like this now?" the redhead asked, his eyes narrowing worriedly.

"Yes, sir. That's why I came to you. Your presence always seems to have a good effect on him. Please, sir, go to him now. I can't bear to see Lord Byakuya so unhappy!"

Renji nodded and flash stepped away from the two attendants, who exchanged worried glances.

"Is he really so unhappy?" Michio asked, "He seemed pleased to get away from the family and to be alone with Master Abarai. What do you think is wrong?"

Torio sighed and sat down on the bed.

"I'm not so sure," he admitted, "But I think he feels guilty for leaving."

"What?" asked Michio, "But Torio, they..."

"I know. But Lord Byakuya has always been a good leader, who cared about everyone. And just because some of them betrayed him, doesn't take away his feelings for the others. I think it hurts him to have left them behind."

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya took a startled breath and turned his head aside, hurriedly brushing the tears away from his eyes as Renji's arms wrapped around him from behind and the redhead's warm lips made a line of affectionate kisses down the side of his neck.

"What are you doing out here?" the redhead asked, "You left a pile of food on your tray in there. That's not like you. You have the attendants worried."

"I am sorry. I began to feel...nauseous."

"So, you came out here for some fresh air, ne?" Renji went on, "You want to take that walk now?"

"Ah...I do not think so. I feel...unwell."

"You want me to get Kisuke?" Renji offered.

"No. I do not think that it is serious. But, I do feel weary," the noble admitted.

"Yeah? Well, I have just the thing for weariness."

Byakuya glanced at him out of the corner of one gray eye.

"Do you?"

"Yeah," the redhead said, teasing the other man's earlobe with his tongue and letting his hand slip down to the tie on the noble's yukata.

Byakuya flinched and pulled away.

"R-renji, I do not feel up to..."

"Shh," the redhead whispered into his ear, "Take it easy. I'm not going to have sex with you."

"No?"

"Well," Renji said, smirking, "I would like very much to have sex with you. But...it kinda seems like there's something else you need right now."

"I am fine."

Renji scowled.

"Okay, don't feed me a line of shit like that. Have you forgotten that we are soul bonded? You think I don't know that something's been bothering you?"

"I..."

"You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, but if you're going to sit there, making yourself miserable over whatever it is, I can at least make sure that you're comfortable while you're making yourself miserable."

"Abarai, you're not making sense at all," the noble complained, trying to pull away again, but only succeeding in becoming more deeply entrenched in the redhead's arms.

"Who, me?" Renji asked, rubbing his cheek against Byakuya's and slipping his hands underneath the noble's yukata to gently caress and infuse his belly with stabilizing reiatsu. Byakuya held up his resistance for all of about six seconds, then gave a sigh of surrender, closed his eyes and sank into the redhead's embrace.

"That's better," Renji breathed in his ear, sending soft, lovely shivers through him.

He barely felt when the redhead lowered him onto his back and opened his yukata, baring him, then continuing to kiss and touch him in a way that was comforting rather than erotic, relaxed and easy as opposed to seductive.

_Almost as though he knows what I need without me saying anything. Maybe he does. Our bond has deepened since we arrived here. And it will continue to grow stronger as time goes on. And what a comfort that is..._

_But why does Renji seem to do all of the comforting? He was put through hell by what happened, and then by my family. But rather than to fall into despair, he has found solace here. He seems happy...much stronger now. _

_I wonder what has helped him to heal inside..._

His mind went quiet then, and Byakuya focused on the warm, loving hands and lips that continued to play over his body. He drank in the redhead's loving whispers and felt his strength slowly returning.

_What I was thinking before was flawed. I haven't abandoned my family, not by my thinking and not by Renji's. And as for the ones who trust me to lead them, I think that given the actions of the council, they will both understand my decision to leave for the duration of my pregnancy, and accept my return to leadership._

_Yes...I will go back. And Renji accepts, even supports that the council's actions must be answered for. I only need to be calm and focus on this child, so that he or she will have a successful entry into the world. And when that is done and I have regained my strength, I will go back and make those people pay for nearly ruining our marriage before it had a chance to really begin._

_Yes, things will get better. Everything will be all right. We just have to take care of each other..._

Byakuya opened his eyes and met Renji's quietly for a moment, then he captured the redhead's face in both hands and fed his spouse several deep, warm, open-mouthed kisses. He lifted himself off the ground and felt the light tickle of sakura blossoms falling away from where they had collected on his skin. Still looking into Renji's curious eyes, he mounted the redhead, spreading his thighs wide and taking Renji's hot, thick member inside him in slow, unhurried thrusts. He laced their fingers together and continued the slow, writhing dance atop Renji's body, watching as the worry left the redhead's eyes, and they hazed over with deep affection and heady lust.

His fingers remained locked together with Renji's as the redhead brought them to his hips and clenched tightly, bucking upward into the noble's molten core and drawing low, feverish moans from his parted lips. Renji smiled as the melancholy left Byakuya's features completely, and his face was written over with affection, desire and the hint of oncoming ecstasy. His hands released Renji's and his body pitched forward, landing softly on the redhead's heaving chest as the noble's mouth hungrily sought his lover's. Their thrusts became hard and disjointed, and their eyes almost closed as they writhed together, feeling the cool touches of the breeze and the soft brush of petals falling onto them.

Renji's arm tightened around him suddenly, and Byakuya felt the intense explosion of the redhead's heat inside him. He gasp in with a gasping cry to the overwhelming beauty of climax, loosing Renji's name in a sweet, breathless hiss, then collapsing the rest of the way onto the redhead as his hot seed pulsed out onto their skin.

They fell headlong into a seemingly endless exchange of softer, sleepy kisses, then parted their bodies and laid, curled under the tree, letting the heavy enchantment of satedness carry them off towards sleep.

"Are you really okay now?" Renji asked softly, kissing him beneath a pale earlobe, "Because I felt like you weren't before."

"I am content now," Byakuya assured him, "And...the emotions that afflicted me have calmed...thank you."

"Hey," sighed Renji, "What are friends for?"

_He is right. Renji is better than just a lover. He really is a friend when I need one. And when it is Renji who needs a friend..._

_From now on, I will be there for him that way too._


End file.

Bleach, Angst, Romance