1. Part 1: Suprises

Duke Et Decorum Est Pro Patria Mori  
  
Part 1-Surprises  
  
By Don't.Poke.Me  
  
A.N. Hey everybody this is a joint fic written by myself Katie and my friend Julie. By the way Katie also have another account with fanfiction.net under the name Sugar Quill you can visit it if you like. Anyway that's enough of us babbling, on with the story!! By the way the title is Latin for: It is sweet and proper to die for your country, (will have some relevance later on in the story! I promise!).  
  
"All right Carter, lets get this over with ASAP!" said Col. Jack O'Neill SG1's commander as they set foot on yet another planet covered in trees "Yes Sir." Replied Maj. Samantha Carter SG1's second in command and astrophysicist. "I'll just." "You'll just go look for your cultural things Jonas." Said O'Neill to SG1's new cultural expert. "Oh and Teal'c go with him and make sure he doesn't dawdle or upset any natives, we've got to finish the training of some newbies this afternoon." Said O'Neill as he followed Carter on her soil sample-taking trip. Teal'c being Teal'c just bowed his head and followed Jonas. "Who did the preliminaries Sir?" "Hmm? Oh I believe Hailey did. She's coming on real well." "I know sir." Said Sam with a smile. "You know?" "Yes she requested some." Sam stopped as Jack motioned for silence. They walked along for about another fifteen minuets before Jack motioned her to stop. "You hear anything?" he signed to her. Sam shook her head. "You done yet Carter?" "Almost Sir." Carter replied, quickly gathering the rest of the samples she needed. "Done." "Right lets head back to the gate, and I really hope I don't have to go and remove Jonas." Said O'Neill leading the way. "Yo Jonas, ready to go?" he asked through the radio. "We've only been here half an hour." "Jonas are you ready to go?" "Yes and no." "Yes and No? What do you mean 'Yes and No'?" "I've found, no we were found by. You better see this for yourself Jack." Jonas cut out his radio.  
  
Sam looked at O'Neill, he nodded. They broke into a jog trot in the direction of the gate. "Jonas you know I don't like surprises." O'Neill yelled as they came toward the gate clearing. There stood Jonas, Teal'c and a young women in fatigues. "Jonas?" O'Neill asked, his eyes catching sight of the huge sword strapped across her back. "It is a pleasure to finally meet you Col. O'Neill, Maj. Carter. I've heard many good things about you." Said the young women. "And you are?" "I'm Gwyn." She said "Do not worry I am completely harmless." "I think I'll be the judge of that don't you. How about you let me have that sword of yours?" "I am afraid you would not be able to withstand the weight of the sword, but I will place it here so you may try if you wish." Said Gwyn as she unbuckled the sword belt and laid it on the ground. "I have yet to see anyone but myself who can wield this sword." She said, smiling at Sam. She winked. Sam smiled back. "I'll take your word for it." Said O'Neill, glancing at Carter's smile. "So what now sir?" asked Carter. "It would be logical to return to the base Col. O'Neill." Said Teal'c. "What about Gwyn?" asked Jonas "Well I suggest that." O'Neill stopped as they saw the gate start to move in the dialling sequence. "Take cover." SG1 ran for the bushes.  
  
"Stop." Said Gwyn, her voice, barely above a whisper carried power. SG1 stopped in their tracks. "It is just SG14, they're bringing the surviving newest addition to the SGC." "Surviving newest addition? What happened to the other intended additions?" asked Carter. "I am unaware as of yet what's going on but I'm sure if we just wait a moment." Gwyn said when the wormhole established itself. SG14 came through the gate with a tallish woman in SGC uniform. "Col. O'Neill who's this?" "What? Oh this is Gwyn Maj., she found us." "You were lost?" "No she found us. Why are you bringing newbies through the Stargate? Newbies that we are supposed to be finishing training of this afternoon?" "General Hammond's orders sir." "General's orders? What Orders?" "She's not an ordinary newbie sir." "In what way?" "I'm from an alternate universe Sir." "I did not ask you to speak private." Shouted O'Neill; turning back to SG14 and then spinning round again. "Did you say alternate universe?" he asked. "Yes and actually my rank is Maj. Sir." Said the young woman, adding the sir as if it was an after thought. "Our orders were to deliver this young women to you and to return to the base immediately." "Right then Maj. Take SG14 home." "Yes Sir." "Maj." Said Gwyn running after SG14. "What's she doing?" Carter asked the young women. "You'll find out in a moment, oh and by the way my name's Julie." She said smiling. "That's that then." Said Gwyn as she walked back. "What's that?" asked Jonas. "I just removed myself from their memories." She said. "I thought it would be best if General Hammond introduced us to the SGC, rather than be greeted by a lot of rumours."  
  
"It's good to see you again." Said Gwyn. "You too Gwyn. It worked then?" Gwyn nodded. "Excuse me. What worked?" O'Neill asked. "The um whatchamacallit. What do you call it Gwyn?" "Well for simplicity I call it the zip portal but its technological name is." "That's where you stop because it sounds likes it going to get very complicated." Said Julie smiling. "So what is it then?" asked Jonas. "It's an extension of the Goauld technology you used to send Koualsky and Doctor Carter back to the reality in which you were married to Carter. Sir." Said Julie. "Oh one of those things." Said O'Neill. "You built one?" asked Sam. "Yep, from scratch. It's quite simple really you just." Gwyn was cut off short. "As clever as Maj. Carter is Gwyn, no offence Maj., but you might end up confusing her, a lot." "You mean there's something Carter doesn't know!?" said O'Neill. "Doesn't know yet." Corrected Gwyn.  
  
"Anyways back to the alternate universe business. In our world the whole Stargate program, Stargate, Goauld, Tokra, everything is a TV program. Kind of like the Stargate extreme show Marty organised here." "How do you know about Marty?" asked O'Neill. "I was just getting to that. Anyway it seems that our episodes are what happens here." "So in our universe we're real and in yours we're not." Said Carter. "Correct" said Gwyn. "Anyway as you know this is Colonel Julie King." "Major." Said Julie. "Colonel now, you've just had a promotion." "You can just do that?" asked Jonas. "Yes, you see in our world I have the ranking of a Space Navy Admiral, an Army General and an Airforce General. So I'm kind of one of the first people are government turns to, in a dire emergency." "You mean a crisis." Muttered Julie. "Julie's an Airforce and Army Col." Said Gwyn. "What was I promoted for Sir?" asked Julie. "Hmm, lets just say unexpected foresight in the emergence of a potential threat to an alliance between The Alliance and the SGC." "What??? Oh that." "Yep that. Anyway, in our world my 'official', I say official lightly as it's only down in the government records as a cover from potential threats." "As if that changed any of the attempted kidnappings or death threats." Gwyn glared at Julie, who promptly fell silent. "Anyway, as I was saying." Continued Gwyn, after twitching her fingers at Julie who started to look angry. "How old are you two?" asked Jack. They didn't look very old. "Gwyn's 25 and I'm 24 in like a week." Jack couldn't believe it a girl younger than him with the same rank! And another girl also younger than him with ranks in The Army, Airforce and Space Navy. He wasn't quite sure what a space navy was but it was probably like the navy we have only in space.  
  
"My job is as a forensic scientist/astrophysicist. I work for the Alliance and as you know have a background in the Airforce, Army and Space Navy. I'm a trained astronaut and I also a qualified Doctor and pilot. I've also studied languages. I've experienced numerous battles thanks to the zip portal and I am trained in every existing martial arts and self defence and I'm also a telekinetic. So I'm afraid you're going to have to come with you. On the other side I could be extremely useful." Said Gwyn, grinning at the astounded looks on the others faces. "I'm Army and Airforce trained and I'm a anthropologist." Julie and Gwyn smiled after looking at O'Neill who had a strange look on his face. "Okay then, I don't suppose you've built a time machine so we can go back and you can explain that all in ENGLISH!!" shouted Col. O'Neill. Gwyn looked at Julie again and they laughed. "You'll understand some day." Julie reassured him.  
  
"As I said before the zip portal is an extension of the Goauld technology," said Gwyn turning to Jack and continuing, "this means I have improved the technology far beyond the original parameters set for it. Which means it has a kind of time machine built into it, which is an extension of the wormhole technology, i.e. the Stargate and I actually built the zip portal around the parameters." "And Gwyn your going to have to stop yet again because you are confusing these poor humans." Said Julie, as she stopped Gwyn mid lecture. "Can I suggest that we get back to the base?" said Jonas, "We're kinda a bit overdue."  
  
Switches to General Hammond in the briefing room  
  
"What were you thinking? You're two hours late!" he said in a tone of voice that said he was a born leader. We're sorry sir! It's just that you have to meet these two girls." Said O'Neill. "You mean it's plural now?" asked Hammond. "I've met Julie, she'll be a remarkable addition to the SGC. Who's this other one?" "She's called Gwyn General." Said Jonas. "She showed me some interesting ruins on Antar." "Antar?" asked O'Neill, turning to Jonas. "Yes Antar, Gwyn told me that an ancient race used to live there long ago, before the." "All right Jonas you can tell us later, your getting as bad as Carter and Daniel. Aren't you wondering off the subject a bit?" asked O'Neill. "Hmmm, he is a bit. Anyway I suppose you want to hear what happened to the rest of the new trainees?" asked General Hammond, leading Jack and Jonas into his office and offering them a swat. "I'll send for Private King and Captain Hailey, they know more about the attack than I do."  
  
Julie and Hailey enter Hammond's office and salute. "At ease." "How can we help sir?" asked Julie. There was a knock on the door. "Come in." "There's a young woman to see you sir. Shall I tell her to come back later?" said General Hammond's aide. "Jonas could you see to it please? Tell her I'm busy." Said Hammond, Jonas nodded and went to see who it was. As Jonas came back he had a strange look on his face. "There's no-one there Sir." He said. Julie smiled. "Do you find something funny private?" snapped Hammond. "Sir her rank is Col." said Jack. "Who promoted you?" "Admiral Pitak sir." "Admiral who?" "Admiral Gwyn Pitak." Said Gwyn appearing by the door. "But you can call me Gwyn." "Who the hell are you?" asked Hammond as Hailey pulled out a handgun and pointed it at Gwyn. "Admiral Pitak of the Alliance Space Navy, General Pitak of the Alliance Airforce and Army. I could go on for another five minutes but I won't. However I will tell you that I am extremely well qualified, and you would have a very hard time killing me." Said Gwyn smiling. "Oh and Hailey, don't bother trying to shoot me, the bullet would vaporise as soon as it hit my shield." Gwyn's smile widened. "Oh General, I'm extremely sorry about making SG1 two hours late, I felt I should explain who Col. King and I were and that we are not a threat to the SGC." She said, pulling out a piece of paper out of her pocket. Julie lunged and grabbed the piece of paper, as she ran at the door she pressed something on her wrist and ran through the door.  
  
Gwyn legged it after her, also through the door, Jack ran after Gwyn, stopping to open the door, Jonas ran after Jack, Hailey ran after Jonas and Hammond ran after Hailey. As Julie ran she read the letter, looking up every now and then to see where she was going. She ran through the mess and into the gate room, by now Carter and Teal'c were chasing Julie too. She stood on the ramp with a smile on her face, the smile faded when she saw Gwyn's face. "Julie give me that back." Again her voice was barely above a whisper and yet the power in it shocked Jack. As Gwyn walked forward and up the ramp, she turned. "I'll meet you all back in the Generals office, I have to take care of this." She said indicating Julie. Gwyn lifted a hand and the letter disappeared from Julie's hand an appeared in Jack's top pocket. "A letter for you from Laira Col. I promised I would deliver it to you. If you will please excuse me." She nodded to them all, grabbed Julie and disappeared. "I guess we should get back to my office." Said Hammond, as he motioned Jack to open the blast doors.  
  
General Hammond's office  
  
"Julie I can't believe you just did that. Has every thing I've said just gone in one ear and out the other?" "It's was the wrong letter." "Don't you think I could tell that? I was going to give Jack his letter and then Hammond his. But anyway, wrong letter or not you had no business to read it." Said Gwyn taking a breath. "I know you were sent on the mission with me, but the letter from my colleagues had a seal on it that I put on. And if you'd broken the seal, well you know what would have happened. Except it would have been worse as the seal is keyed to one person only." Julie's face blanched as she realised the danger she might have been in. "What would have happened?" asked Jack, as he led the others into Hammond's office. "At best Julie would have been killed or at worst would have an irreversible disability more than likely something to do with speaking."  
  
"Doesn't sound to bad." Said Jonas. "Would you like a temporary example?" asked Gwyn, her voice had hardened. "You really don't want to get Gwyn to do that too you, not will she's in this mood." Said Julie, her face slowly regaining colour. Gwyn pulled out an official looking letter from her pocket in her jacket and handed it to General Hammond. "Oh yeah, thanks for the letter, I'll read it later." Said Jack, patting his top pocket where the letter was. "But I'll ask again, what happened to all the Newbies I was supposed to be training this afternoon?" Julie and Hailey looked at the floor. "Take your time ladies." Said Hammond, not wanting to pressure them. "Well you know how you suspected that the Goauld had infiltrated the academy?" Julie paused as they all nodded. "Well there was. He was one of the." Julie paused as Gwyn motioned for her to stop. "There's someone listening in." she held up a finger. In about 30 seconds five members of the SGC appeared in the centre of the room, one was an American solider; the other four were Russian.  
  
"The SGC has been infiltrated. These are the only ones at the moment as far as I can tell from a quick scan, but I'll have to have a lengthy search later on." Said Gwyn to Hammond. The "Russian" solders have always been Goauld but lieutenant Timmins here is new." Gwyn started to speak to the five Goauld. "She can speak Goauld?" asked Jack to Julie. "One of her many languages." Said Julie. Gwyn turned to them. "Timmins I can save, the other four are quite frankly not even worth saving." "Why don't we just kill all of them?" asked Jack shrugging. "I will undertake the killing of the four Russians, but Timmins is different, I can sense that." Gwyn paused as she continued to stare at Timmins. She grinned. "That's why he's different. He's of Sinyin origin. "Sinyin??" asked Jack. "He's an elf. One of my sisters commanders if I'm not mistaken." "She rarely is." Muttered Julie to Jonas. "And don't you know it Julie, said Gwyn without turning to face her. "Well he's definitely worth saving, I believe I'll return him to my sister, I'm sure she'll be glad to have him back." "Did you just say he's an elf?" asked Jack. "How come he doesn't have pointy ears?" "He has a glamour cast over him." Said Gwyn, she waved her hand and the others noticed the differences. Timmins was immediately taller and his facial features were finer, and his ears had gone all pointy at the top.  
  
"It'll be a shame to lose him, he was a good solder." Said Carter. "How long will it take to remove the symbiote?" "Shouldn't take too long. I'll need to go back to my world to gather some equipment and some things for my sister as well. Oh and I'll need a secure room to set up the zip portal." "Jack, Jonas could you see to it please?" asked Hammond. "Yes sir." Said Jack. "Come on Jonas, Teal'c." said jack as he led the other two out of the office. "Where do you want me to leave Timmins for now? He won't be able to do anything he's kind of out of it a bit." "Take him down to medical." "Thank you General. I'll just get rid of these for you." She said, indicating the Russians. She waved a hand and they seemed to become a pulse of light that flowed into her hand. "They're life-force is a part of me now, they won't cause any trouble." She said. "That was amazing Sir." Said Sam. "Thanks, one of my abilities. It strengthens me as well, and the transfer of the knowledge from the symbiote's previous hosts is transferred to me too."  
  
Oh General, would you like to send an envoy with me to meet my colleagues?" asked Gwyn, Carter's face lit up. "That's a very kind offer, could I send Maj. Carter with you? I would normally send Jack but he'll be busy when you're ready to leave." "Let's take Timmins to Dr. Fraiser and then you can get your gear together and show me your lab." Said Gwyn smiling. "Of course Sir." "Sam, you can call me Gwyn, don't bother with all this Sir stuff. You'll know when it's the right moment to call me Sir." "You want to come Julie?" "No thanks. I sense much technobabble in the force. And besides there are those huge spiders in your lab." Julie shuddered. "They're quite harmless you know." Said Gwyn smiling.  
  
Gwyn led the way out of the office with Timmins gliding in front of her, she gestured for Sam to walk next to her. When they had deposited Timmins into Janet's capable hands Sam led the way to her lab. "I'm sorry about the loss of the Naquadria that Jonas risked his life for. I happen to know where there is a rich deposit." "Really, where?" "On my sister's planet. I'm pretty sure they would probably give you unlimited access to it if you help them with a minor problem of theirs." "What sort of problem?" "Their planet is overran with some pretty big spiders. And the only flaw of the elves is that they're petrified of spiders, it's probably something to do with the fact that spiders are particularly lethal to elves." "I'm sure that wouldn't be a problem." Said Carter grinning.  
  
Mess Hall  
  
"Hey Julie." Said Jack as he walked into the mess and saw Julie sitting eating a light lunch. "Hey Jack." Said Julie gesturing for him to seat himself. "Since your going to be here for a while you really should come and watch Teal'c floor me millions of times." He said smiling. "Sure, why not? I could do with a bit of a workout." Said Julie as she followed Jack out of the mess. "Hey Jonas, you doing anything?" "Nope why do you ask?" "Jack's invited me to watch him get floored by Teal'c, too be honest I could do with a sparring partner myself." "Your on." Said Jonas grinning. "Promise you won't be mad with me?" "For what?" "You'll see." Said Julie grinning as she walked after Jack down the corridor.  
  
Sam's Lab  
  
"Some set up you've got here." Said Gwyn, looking at all the machines in Sam's lab. "Thanks." Said Sam, who was rummaging through a drawer full of books. "Whatcha looking for?" "Hmm? Oh a book Daniel gave me before he died. It's written in Goauld, he said it's roughly about some ancient virus that killed off a lot of Goauld ages ago. He was looking through it because some of the symptoms matched the ones that four of the SGC members from different teams died of. This is it." She said, giving the book to Gwyn. "Hmmm, if this is what I think it is I'll need to get something from my sister when we take Timmins back. I'll run this through a couple of machines in my lab when we go to my world." She said skimming through the book. "He's not dead you know." "Really that's superb! Where is he?" "He's off world, on my sisters planet funnily enough. When we take Timmins back I'll see how he's doing. When you thought he died he actually ascended to a higher plane of existence."  
  
"When my sister found him he was nearly dead as when he was descended he came back in the state he left in. He was almost beyond the healing powers of the elves. Last I heard he was fine." Gwyn paused. "Why did they send him back?" "I'm not really sure." Said Gwyn frowning. "When I questioned him halfway through his heeling, he didn't really want to talk about it. Something about an argument with one of the bosses." "Yep, I'm definitely going to need to see my sister about this, I just hope it's only the first kind and not the second. Anyway, you ready to go?" "Yes I think so, is this okay or should it be formal?" Sam asked pointing to what she was wearing. "Better bring your formal stuff in this, I wouldn't want it to get damaged going through Zip. And anyway I've got some things to show you in my lab first, you might get a bit mucky." She said smiling as she gave Sam a protective bag to put her suit in. Sam led the way to the room where Gwyn had set up the portal.  
  
A.N. Hoped you liked the first part of the story as much as Julie and I do! Anyways the next part should hopefully be up soon (if I can get Julie to write any!!) Now then unless you want a taste of Gwyn's medicine you'd better fill in that little box called a review so we can know what you think. From: Don't. Poke.Me  
  
We have one message for you:  
  
We have elves and we're not afraid to use them. 


	2. Part 2: Infiltration

Dulce Et Decorum Es Pro Patria Mori  
  
Part 2: Infiltration  
  
By Don't.Poke.Me  
  
A.N. Hi guys here's part 2 it would be nice when you reviewed, mentioning no names Sirithlammoth!, if you put what you thought about the story instead of just babbling on about elves. I promised elves and there shalt be elves, when I feel like putting them in. Anyways there is just too much talk now, (especially about elves) hope you like the nxt part and if you have ideas for the story or the summery (which desperately needs changing!!) put 'em in your review.  
  
Somewhere in the SGC  
  
"Owww!" exclaimed Jonas, as Julie slammed him into the floor once again. "How many times is that now? Twelve?" asked Jack, as he helped Jonas up. "Why don't you have a go Jack?" "No thanks I get enough of that from Teal'c." "Teal'c?" asked Jonas, raising an eyebrow in a very Teal'c like way. "I think that I will improve my own fighting skills before I take on Col. King." Teal'c said, also raising his eyebrow. "A wise decision Teal'c and please, call me Julie." She said as she dusted off her hands. "I'm going for a meal, want to join me?" she asked as she walked out the door, the others followed. "What do you reckon Carter's doing?" asked Jack as they walked into the mess. "Hmmm, at this moment in time probably having a confusing conversation with Gwyn, with lots of techno-babble involved, while waiting for Gwyn's flunkies to arrive for the conference." Said Julie while grabbing some food.  
  
"Flunkies?" asked Jonas. "Gwyn's junior officers, I call 'em flunkies, they tend to do every thing she says, probably because of her magical stuff and that huge sword of hers." Julie said, plonking herself down at a table. "Magic??" asked O'Neill. "If Carter was here, she'd say it's." "Scientifically impossible, I know. I didn't believe it either until Gwyn took me to this world where they don't believe in science and live totally by magic, in fact they're convinced that science is just mumbo jumbo, kinda like we do about magic. Anyway to cut a long story short, Gwyn has a natural gift for it, probably got something to do with being a paraplegic. She had a motorbike accident when she was 17 and severed the nerve endings at the base of her spine so instead of walking she moves through telekinesis. She can link with generators, which extends her natural abilities beyond their original scope. Gwyn can probably tell you a lot more about it, as she understands it better. Did you not notice the way she kinda flows instead of walks?" Julie paused to eat some food. "Anyway what were we talking about? Oh yes what Sam will be doing, well at the moment, she will probably be having a tour of the lab before going into the conference."  
  
Gwyn's Lab  
  
"Now this is a cool lab." Said Sam, looking round, "And that zip portal is definitely a good way to travel!" "Yeah I know, and the lab, well it's kinda a bit all over the place at the moment. Anyway, come into my office for a moment and then I'll get started on the book." Gwyn said, leading Sam into her office. "I think you have more books than Daniel does." Said Sam looking at the book covered walls. "Oh this is part of my fiction collection, the rest of my books are kept in that vault." Said Gwyn, pointing at the open metal door. "Wow you must have more than the Trinity College library in here." Joked Sam as she peered inside. "Yes I do I've got about two thousand more actually." Said Gwyn frowning.  
  
"Who are we waiting for?" "I'm waiting for my officers to come and give me the reports, so I can get up to scratch before the conference." "Conference?" asked Sam. "Hmmm? Oh right sorry, I've scheduled a conference with all the other admirals and the commanders I could get here. That's why I want to get up to scratch, after being away for six months I've hopefully missed a lot of action." "What sort of action?" "Oh new alliances, the new fleet's maiden voyage, maybe some space battles with the Goa'uld or the Indars. Oh yes and the status reports of the new designs for the navy. We're constantly updating and improving our technology." Gwyn finished speaking just as her comm. buzzed. "Yes Tris?" "Your flunkies and Lady Tamora are here Gwyn." "I knew she'd be a bad influence on you." Gwyn said. "Even if Julie was only here for half an hour." She said smiling. "Let 'em into the conference room please Tris. Oh and could you inform them that I'll be there in a moment." Said Gwyn turning to Sam.  
  
"Do you want to come in and listen?" "What well you be talking about?" "Oh just stuff that should have happened while I was away. There'll be nothing important really so if you want you can come. I have to introduce you to Tamora anyway." Gwyn led the way to the conference room. "Sam this is Admiral minor Taylor and Stevens and Admiral Major Seymour." Said Gwyn pointing at each one in turn. "And this is Lady Tamora. Gentlemen, Lady this is Maj. Carter from the SGC." Gwyn said taking a seat at the table and gesturing for Sam and Tamora to sit either side of her. "Now then Tam. I assume you'll be coming back with us to return to Her Royal Highness Sirithlammoth The Fair?" "Yes I did hope to return with you." Said Tam smiling there seemed to be a lilt to her words that filled the room with her grace and light. "That's settled then, we'll probably be leaving soon after the conference." Said Gwyn picking up a piece of paper and putting on some glasses. "How's the war going?" "Space war?" asked Sam. "Space war. It's with the Goa'uld but when I left it was mostly with the Indars." Gwyn explained to Sam, looking up at her 'flunkies'. "I thought you said that the Goa'uld or anything didn't exist?" asked Sam. "I'm afraid I had to lie to you there incase the dimension we landed in wasn't quite right. The last Earth we visited was under Osiris's rule." Gwyn finished.  
  
"Well the Indars haven't attacked us for a while but one of our internal spies has suggested a possible alliance between them and the Goa'uld." "That won't happen." Interrupted Sam. "Excuse me? Ms Carter I'm sure where you come from your people regard you in the highest but trust us your not an expert when it comes to our knowledge." "Stop it." Barked Gwyn. "I know you lot and most of this base are terrified of getting off on the wrong foot with me but that does not mean you can't pay attention." The Admiral hung his head and began nervously shuffling his papers. "Look at me when I'm talking to you." Gwyn's voiced sharpened with a tone of authority that no one could ignore. "This is Maj. Sam Carter. You may call her Ma'am, as she is a visiting diplomat. Or you can address her with the proper rank, which as I told you before is Maj. Now, Maj. Carter is a high ranking officer of the SGC from another dimension. She is here at my invitation and was sent by her superiors to gauge whether or not she believes an alliance with us wise and profitable to their planet and themselves. I suggest that you listen to what she has to say, as she has more first hand experience with the Goa'uld in numerous situations than you three will ever have put together." Said Gwyn, sitting down and gesturing for Sam to stand.  
  
"Thanks Gwyn." Said Sam. "And before you interrupt." Said Gwyn, looking at the mouth of one of the men which was just about to open. "Sam is one of my friends and therefore has the right to call me by name." She said waving for Sam to continue. "The reasons I find likely to believe your information false is that in my dealings with the Goa'uld System Lords, they have never made allies except with the other Lords, and rarely then. I would suggest that either your informant is dead or you are being fed false information by either the Goa'uld or the Indars, that your communications have been breached or that your informant has been taken over by a Goa'uld symbiote." Sam said, sitting down with a smile as the admirals tried to comprehend all that Sam had just told them.  
  
"Ummm." Said Seymour. "So then, now that you've calculated Maj. Carter's opinions into your analysis, I'll ask you again. How's the war going?" "It seems that we're not doing very well." "An excellent surmise. Now then what are you going to do about it?" asked Gwyn. "What are we going to do about it? But we thought." "You didn't think, you assumed that I would get rid of the problem for you. Well I'll ask you this. How do you think we got to this situation in the first place?" Gwyn asked, the tone of her voice had grown icily cold.  
  
The admirals just stared at her as if her nose had gone purple. "Oh don't bother. How's the negotiations?" "We'll not that good actually." "Stop. Who's handling the negotiations?" "Admiral Bose." "You put Bose on something this important?" "Well actually the council had the final say." "The council don't know a bloody thing, honestly, whenever I leave it's like the whole lot of you fall to pieces. Just leave your reports and get out of my sight. I've got no use for incompetent officers. Go and spend a month at the academy." Said Gwyn pointing at the door. When none of them moved she stood up. "For God's sake get the hell out of my sight. Vamoose." Said Gwyn waving her hands at them. Nobody moved. "Oh for the love of peace." Gwyn said pausing as she touched each one on the shoulder and sent a shock through them. The men shook themselves as it they had just woken up from a very long sleep. "Now that your listening, scat." Said Gwyn, as the men double-timed it out of the room, eager to get away from her.  
  
Gwyn turned to the computer. "Computer, get me a secure deep space link to Commander Pilgram of the cruiser Anomaly." "How can I help Admiral?" asked the woman's face that appeared on the screen. "I'd like you to make it over to the Novakian system and take over the negotiations from Admiral Bose, Commander. Oh and if he gives you any trouble send him to the brig. When the negotiations are over contact me and I'll send over Lily a sap to take over Admiral Bose's battle group and the Anomaly. I'm afraid you're going to have to come with me for a bit. I'll explain your orders when you arrive," said Gwyn. "Yes sir." Said Pilgram, saluting and then terminating the link.  
  
"I really have no idea what this stinking planet would do without me." Muttered Gwyn, as she typed some information into the computer. "Tam, do you reckon you could give Sam a tour of my lab?" "Of course I could, anywhere we shouldn't go?" "Umm, I don't think so if there is somewhere one of my AI's will tell you." "Okay then." "Sorry about all of this Sam, after the conference if you have any questions that need answering I'll be sure to give you a detailed explanation. Besides, you need to get to know Tam as I think that my sister will probably send her as the envoy to the SGC for a bit." Said Gwyn smiling. "Don't worry about it Gwyn, you will look at that book though won't you?" asked Sam. "It's on my to do today list." Gwyn said as she walked from the room. "Have fun." She said as she disappeared up a ladder, which led to a room on a different floor.  
  
Gwyn pulled out her comm., as she got out Daniel's book and laid it on her desk. "Computer, put me through to Lily, secure channel please." Gwyn put down the comm. And put Daniel's book into a machine on the side of the room and muttered "Two copies please." "Howdy Gwyn, what's up?" "Your up." Said Gwyn walking over to the main screen and attaching her comm. "I'd like you to take over Bose's battle group and take command of the Anomaly, Commander Pilgram is coming on a little away mission with Julie and I." "Sounds like fun, when do you want me?" "How about my study in 50 minutes? Oh and pack your butt kicking kit, battle group 8 has got 'en a little sloppy." Lily's face brightened. "That's great! I've got some new drills I've been waiting to try out." She finished her sentence and the screen cleared.  
  
The machine in the corner belched as it produced two copies of Daniel's book. Gwyn went over and picked them up putting one in another machine to get English translations for Daniel and her library and picked up the other to read. As Gwyn finished reading her copy of Daniel's book she got out some equipment for her experiments. When the copies had finished she wrapped one of the English copies and a copy in Goa'uld plus the original book in some protective fabric and put them in her bag on her desk with some of the equipment she would need for the removal of Timmins's symbiote. When she looked at her watch her comm. beeped. "Yes?" "The negotiations are over sir." "Thanks Pilgram. Lily will be with you shortly." "Thank you sir, over and out." Gwyn shouldered her pack, picked up the book from the machine and slid down the ladders leading to the ground floor.  
  
As Gwyn entered her study she put her pack on the desk and pulled out the rest of the equipment she needed for the symbiote removal. She then went and added her copy of Daniel's book to her library. There was a knock on the door and then Lily walked in. "Hiya you ready to send me off yet?" she asked when she walked in with a small bag. "Yep." Gwyn said, coming out of her library. "The crew of the Anomaly will probably be well up to scratch, but Bose has let battle group 8 flap around a bit. I'd like you to send this transmission to the exec. of the Tempest, which was Bose's command ship within the fleet." Said Gwyn handing over a disk to Lily. "And if there's any problems, play this disk." She said, handing over another disk. "Okay then, going to ship me off now?" "Yep. Computer, visual and sound of the bridge of the Anomaly." Said Gwyn turning round to grin at Lily. "Give 'em hell Admiral." Gwyn said, saluting. "You bet Admiral." Said Lily, saluting as she disappeared.  
  
Bridge of the Anomaly  
  
"Commander Pilgram, let me be the first to congratulate you on your extremely vigilant crew." Said Lily, turning round to look at the twelve guns pointed at her. "Why thank you Admiral Dulcy. Such a pleasant surprise to have you join us." Said Pilgram. "Drop the admiral crap Niki, you've been calling me Lily to my face for over a year now." "Okay then Sir." Said Niki with a smirk playing on her lips. "I take it you're here to take command?" "Of course, would Gwyn send anyone else?" "But commander." "No buts Lieutenant Heyden, orders are orders. If you want to complain about Commander Pilgram's reassignment you can take your complaint to Admiral Pitak." Said Lily, watching with satisfaction as the lieutenant commanders face blanched. "Ah, I see you don't want to do that." She said, turning to the bridge crew. "I assure you all now, what you've heard about me is all true, and that's only the half of it." She said, a vicious gleam in her eye.  
  
"Admiral Dulcy, if you could lay off freaking my crew out until I'm well gone, I'll resign command of the Anomaly to you." Niki said laying her hand on the panel in front of her. "Resignation of command registered." Said the computer as Lily lay her hand next to Niki's. "Recognition Admiral Dulcy, welcome to the Anomaly sir." "Thank you. As my first order, I want all senior officers in my office with full reports in, oh say thirty minutes." Lily said, sliding a disk into the computer and sending Gwyn's transmission to the Tempest. Lily touched a button, "Security bring Admiral Bose to the bridge please."  
  
Lily turned to Niki. "I take it your ready to leave?" "Of course I am, what kind of person do you think I am?" she said holding up a duffel bag. "I take it Gwyn sent you to do some butt kicking." Murmured Niki to Lily, Lily grinned. "Yep, I've managed to invent some new drills and change some old ones so that some of these newbies will probably never have even heard of them." She said, her eyes sparkling with anticipation. "A few of my crew will probably approach you in a few days, they've been keeping an eye on some suspicious people for me, Gwyn might have forgotten to mention them to you, some old friends of yours I do believe." Niki said. "Thanks for the tip off I'll keep an eye out." Lily replied as Admiral Bose was marched onto the bridge between two burly security officers. "Right then, ready when you are Admiral Pitak." Lily said as Niki and Bose disappeared.  
  
Gwyn's Office  
  
"Computer could you ask Trisana to come here please." Gwyn said as she hurriedly set up some experiments in the lab adjoining onto her study. There was a scuttling sound and a huge spider appeared in the doorway. "Can I help you Gwyn?" "Ah yes, you're not busy are you Tris?" "No I've just finished lunch after my sleep period." "Would you be able to keep an eye on these experiments for me? I've got some business to deal with, I shouldn't be long." "Of course Gwyn." Said Tris as Gwyn climbed up the ladder from her personal lab leading to her conference room. "Ah yes, Admiral Bose, Commander." Gwyn said as Niki Pilgram and Admiral Bose walked in. "Admiral if you would care to step into my office?" Gwyn's tone of voice stated that it wasn't really an option. "Commander, your orders are print registered on screen 3." Said Gwyn as she followed Bose into her office.  
  
"Do you know what that idiot commander of yours did?" asked Bose as Gwyn sat down. "She destroyed an entire Goa'uld battle group, and then beamed me over to her ship and promptly into the brig!" the indignity that he projected into his voice made Gwyn smirk. "She was just following orders." Said Gwyn, shuffling some papers. "Orders?! We could have used those ships." "Why would we need them? Our ships are better, we have all the Goa'uld technology they currently have and have improved it. Why do we need them?" "Well when we attack the system lords we could use them to pretend that." "Pretend that we're a new system lord? I think not, besides I am currently the only member of the Alliance who can speak fluent Goa'uld with the correct pronunciations and accents." "You could teach a class to speak." "I have been, they however don't have a natural flair for Alien languages that I do, sure they're fine for Spanish, Russian and German and stuff like that. But when it comes to Goa'uld and Elvish and all the other languages of our enemies and the other races in our alliance, you'll just have to accept the fact that I'm the only one who can speak them."  
  
"Anyway that's besides the point, how do you suppose the Goa'uld fleet, that Commander Pilgram so aptly destroyed, got past our outer defences? Perhaps with a little inside help?" suggested Gwyn, lifting her head to stare at Bose. He stammered, "But Gwyn, you know I would never, I wouldn't do that to the Alliance." "Shut up Captain that's Sir to you." Said Gwyn pausing. "Your battle group's performance has slipped dramatically in the past nine months, and if I hadn't been on recon. for six of those months I would have noticed your adverse behaviour sooner." Said Gwyn sharply, "Oh and Quintarth, don't bother hiding, I detected you as soon as you entered the room." Bose's eyes blazed as the Goa'uld took control. "So the Goa'uld System Lords have underestimated the scum that is the Tauree." He said in that kinda weird synthesised voice that all Goa'uld use.  
  
"Ohhh, I wouldn't say you parasitic idiots have underestimated the entire Tauree, just some of the individuals within the Tauree. Like this one right here." Said Gwyn, pointing to herself. "I mean you lot assumed that it was the council that had the control over our government whereas here, what I say goes. "It matters not about whether or not you are in control of your puny world." Quintarth said, "When you become a servant to my lord Apothis. You will truly realise the mighty power of the Goa'uld Gods." "More like the psychopathic twits who couldn't run a bath if they didn't have their slaves." Said Gwyn, practically spitting the words into Quintarth's face. "It matters not, for the demise of the Tauree will come soon." "Over my dead body." Said Gwyn sticking her hand out, as a glow formed around her, the Goa'uld known as Quintarth flew from Bose and into her hand. "Not so uppity now are you?" she asked the Goa'uld as she placed it in a niche in her desk. "Lieutenant Yaris, another specimen for the archives please place it in vat seventy two." Said Gwyn into her comm. as she erased the last few moments of the conversation from Bose's memory. "What were your orders captain?" she asked Bose as her voiced slipped into her famous icy tones.  
  
"To form an alliance with the Novians and convince them that 1. We are friendly and 2. That it would benefit both of us if." "I know precisely what your orders were captain." Snapped Gwyn. "The question is, why did you not implement them?" "I." "Commander Pilgram finished the talks in 50 minutes, accomplishing in a short time what you have failed to do in six months!" "But Gwyn." "That's Sir to you captain, unless you'd care to be demoted down to jig? I've sent orders to your 2IC to take command of the Tempest and bring her back to headquarters for her new captain. Admiral Dulcy has taken over your battle group and will no doubt give them their much-needed kick in the pants, and then get them back into shape. You however are going back to the Academy." Gwyn paused. "Do you have anything to say?"  
  
"No Sir." "Excellent." Gwyn's comm. beeped. "Yes?" "The experiments have finished Gwyn." "Thanks Tris, could you escort Captain Bose to the Academy?" "With pleasure." Said Tris. "Thanks." Gwyn said turning to face Bose. "Your Stars and Stripes Captain." Said Gwyn holding out her hand for the now incorrect rank. "When I'm next back I want excellent progress reports. Dismissed." Said Gwyn as Tris came in the door. "I suggest you practise your salute Captain, you're going to need it and the Academy officers won't accept any bull shit." She said as the door slammed on Bose's retreating back.  
  
"What do you think of your orders commander?" Gwyn asked Niki as she walked into the room. "Do you mean to tell me that the program we watched as kids is REAL?" "In an alternate universe yes." Gwyn smiled. "What do you think of your orders?" "I suppose it'll make a change." Said Niki smiling back at Gwyn. "You want to go and meet Sam?" asked Gwyn. "And I thought you knew me well Gwyn! What do you think?" "Ummm No?" Gwyn joked, laughing at the expression on Niki's face. Gwyn started walking gesturing for Niki to follow her.  
  
"How did the talks go?" "Quicker than Bose's." "What do you think convinced them?" "The demonstration of Delta Bravo 641, which I am proud to announce works perfectly. I kept records of the encounter and made a copy for you." She said handing Gwyn a disk. "Thanks, I'll watch it later." said Gwyn as Tris came in. "Ahh Tris, I take it Captain Bose is settled at the Academy?" "Yes, I handed him over to Lieutenant Admiral Cesac." She said as her form glittered and then changed to the form of a regular human. "You've been practising." Said Gwyn smiling. "Yes, I wouldn't want to disturb all of your friends." Said Tris smiling. "And I know the Elves don't like spiders." "Thanks Tris." Gwyn smiled. "Did you have a choice of officers to drop Bose off to?" "Yes." "I thought so, excellent choice for our errant captain."  
  
"I really should have demoted him further but I'm sure Cesac will have to." Gwyn smiled evilly. "Anyway Tris this is Commander Pilgram, she'll be accompanying us to the SGC, I don't think either of you've met Sam, and Tris I don't think you've met Tamora either?" "No." they both chorused in unison. "Well come on then, what are you waiting for?" asked Niki. 'She's like a horse chafing at the bit.' Gwyn thought. ~ "Yeah so what if I am? Come on!" ~ said Niki telepathically as Gwyn walked into her lab and smiled at Sam. "I've had such a good time Gwyn! I've learnt so much in just this short time looking at what you've achieved!" "I'm pleased Sam after the conference I'll take you round again and you can do some hands on." Gwyn said. Sam beamed. "Anyway Sam this is Trisana, my personal aide and this is Commander Niki Pilgram. Niki, Tris this is Maj. Sam Carter envoy from the SGC and Tris this is Lady Tamora, envoy for the Elves." "Pleased to meet you." They all chorused. And then they laughed at the unison in which they had spoken. "Now if it's all right with every one we have to change for the conference. Sam you can use my office."  
  
The SGC  
  
Jack, Julie, Jonas and Teal'c all sat down in the mess eating. Jack wasn't really hungry and so was playing with his food. "Jack, either eat it or play with it, not both!" said Julie, she hated it when people played with their food. "Since when have you been my mother?" "Since now." Said Julie smiling. "Anyway, what are we going to do while we're waiting for Sam and Gwyn?" "We could run through some of those training sims." Suggested Jonas. "Jonas for crying out loud! How many times do I have to tell you those are play station games!" Jack said, clearly aspirated with Jonas. "What is this thing you call a play station?" asked Teal'c raising an eyebrow. "You mean I've never shown you the play station?!" asked Jack. "That is correct Col. O'Neill." "What was I thinking?!" he asked himself, banging his head on the table. "I do not know what you were thinking Col. O'Neill." "It was a rhetorical question Teal'c." said Julie. "Your not supposed to answer them." "Then why did O'Neill ask the question in the first place if it does not get answered?" asked a rather confused Teal'c. Julie started banging her head on the table too.  
  
"Hang on a minute, I brought a sim with me." Said Julie, digging a disk out of her pocket. "You got a computer anywhere near?" "Yeah there's one in my room, with the play station." Said Jack, leading the way out of the mess and to his room. As they entered the room Jack turned on the lights and then the computer. "Right then." Said Julie as she pulled a piece of technology from her pocket. "What's that?" Jonas asked, looking intently at the strange piece of metal in Julie's hand. "It's some technology I borrowed from Gwyn." She said, slapping it on the computer. "It'll turn this disk into a holographic sim." She said as she inserted the disk. Julie laughed at the expression on Jack and Jonas's face as the holographic simulation appeared around them. Teal'c just raised an eyebrow. "Lets see how you do." Said Julie waving a hand over the SGC uniform she was wearing, it turned into a tight fitting shipsuit. The others looked down at themselves to see that they were wearing tight fitting shipsuits too. "Don't you have anything slightly baggier?" asked Jonas. "Oh don't be silly Jonas, you might as well show off what you've got." She said, smiling as she led them down the corridor.  
  
"Yes I think we'll defiantly take ten of these!" said Jack in awe. "How did I know you were gonna say that!" said Julie turning around. "This was Gwyn's ship when she was commander of battle group six. I've rigged the sim. so that I'm in command of the ship as she always steals the limelight!" said Julie in an annoyed tone as she pouted for effect. "The sim is programmed so that you always encounter different variables each time you run the sim so you have no idea what's coming." "So how many times have you been through the sim?" Julie glared at him and continued. "Anyways, you guys will be my bridge officers. Jack, you're weapons, unless I decide that's a bad idea. Teal'c you're on Navigation i.e. you're controlling where the ship goes and Jonas you're on communications. The holo. Takes us through a battle against a Goa'uld fleet, that Gwyn won. It's run as a training sim. at the academy." She said. "Sounds like fun." Said Jack. "Oh it is, I've ran through it a couple of times." Julie said, answering Jonas's question before leading them down a holographic ladder.  
  
Somewhere in Space in an Alternate Universe  
  
"Ready Gwyn." Said Sam, stepping out of Gwyn's office. "Superb." Said Gwyn, who, along with Niki, had noticeably changed into dress whites for the conference. "Where did you get all the decorations?" "Oh that junk, various space battles, encounters, shear dumb luck in some cases, that's known as bravery round here." Gwyn said, scooping up some notes. "Didn't you say you were going civ. To this one?" asked Tam. "I knew I'd forgotten something." Gwyn said, dashing into her office. "What's that all about?" "Oh occasionally Gwyn uses her double job as a cover in conferences to catch out some of the lazier officers. Quite a few of the admirals have double jobs, the brighter officers check out whether their CO has a double ID. The ones that don't are the ones that Gwyn wants to catch out." Explained Niki as Gwyn walked in. "What do you think." Sam looked at Gwyn, instead of the redhead with green eyes in whites stood a tall willowy blonde with blue eyes in a suit. "If I hadn't known it was you I would have to ask your name." Said Sam with a smile. "You'd have definitely fooled Jack." "Just the type of person I'm looking to fool." Gwyn grinned. "I'll port us there so we'll be the first to arrive." She said.  
  
When they arrived in the conference room Gwyn immediately strode to the head of the table and deposited some slides into the slots in the table. "Sam if you would please sit on my right, Tam on my left and Niki, could you sit next to Sam." She said as she filled some glasses with water and sat down. "Right then." She said, looking at her watch. "3,2 and 1." When Gwyn had finished the countdown the doors to the conference room flew open and in marched a bunch of grim looking men. The women that followed them looked slightly happier and a couple of them waved at Niki. "How many do you reckon on today?" murmured Tam across the table to Niki. "I dunno, um, fifty on three?" "Done. Fifty on four." Replied Tam spiting into her palm and shaking Niki's hand. "I thought I told you guys to stop gambling on the dumb asses?" said Gwyn, "I say a hundred on seven." She said not looking up as she extended her hand. Three Admirals approached their end of the table. "What did you say about gambling Gwyn?" "Hey they're my dumb asses. Deal or not?" "Deal." Niki and Tam said, shaking her hand.  
  
"You're in our seats." One of them said gruffly to Niki, Tam and Sam. "And you are in Grand Admiral Pitak's seat." He said rudely to Gwyn. "Go suck a lemon." She said waving her hand whilst still watching Niki's disk of the Goa'uld encounter. "Do you know whom you're talking to?" asked an enraged Admiral minor, one of three who had just joined the group. "Yes I believe that I was talking to Captains Green, Pierce and Patricks. Not that it's any of your business." Gwyn said, still watching the disk. "They're Admirals." Said the Admiral Minor. "They are what I tell them they are soldier, and believe it or not they are Captains. In fact at this precise moment in time they are impersonating Admirals. Insignia." She said, holding her hand out. "You too Pivot." She said to the man who had so rudely interrupted her. "But but." "Shut it Ryan, insignia. I hate officers with no initiative and I take it from the looks on the faces of you six that you fit the bill really well. Now, anyone else who doesn't know who I am?" she asked standing up, nobody moved. "Come on, I know which one you are, you might as well admit it." Two men stood up slowly. "Ensign Jones sit down, you've only just transferred from sector five you have probably only just arrived." "Yes Ma'am." he said sitting down. "Commander, get your butt here now." She said pointing at the floor beside her. "You seven have just been demoted to recruit. Now you sorry lot are going to march off to the Academy and spend how ever long it takes to graduate again, and then crawl your way back up through the ranks."  
  
They stared at her and didn't move. "What kind of thick twits are you I said move." She said, he voice turning icy. She passed her hand down over her body and Gwyn's glamour disappeared. Leaving in the place of the blonde scientist the young red head in grey fatigues, in place of the green ones she'd worn earlier, with her sword on her back. The mouths of the men dropped. "Shut those traps and get your asses marching." She said, pointing at the door. Still none of them moved. "Sergeant." Gwyn turned to the men standing either side of the door. "Sir?" "Escort these men to the Academy, hand them over to Lieutenant Admiral Cesac." "Sir, yes Sir" they said in unison, saluting Gwyn as they came forward. As the former officers disappeared out the door Gwyn shouted after them. "Practise your salutes gentlemen, you'll be needing them."  
  
As the doors slid shut behind the errant officers with a quite swoosh Gwyn held out her hand. "Gwyn, you evil cow. How in hell did you know there would be seven of them?" asked Tam. "Yes there's normally only two or three." Niki said. "Lets just say a little intuition." "You didn't peak?" "No I just have a sixth sense about this sort of thing." "Does this happen often?" asked Sam. "What the betting or the thick headed officers?" "Both." "Oh yes the betting whenever Niki's on station the thick headed officers, well almost all the time. The longest period I've had without them was three months." Gwyn said. "Oh and when Julie's here the betting is twice as bad, and of course she plays on their wits. You should see some of the things she does to them." Gwyn said, collecting a small cube from Niki and Tam and pressing it into a cube of her own, the cube in her hand swelled as it engulfed the two smaller cubes. "Do you remember the time she bet Admiral Leo that she could sink through the floor?" asked Niki. "Yes I still have the tapes from that one and all the other events, she'd forgotten about my spy eyes and she doesn't realise that I recorded them." Gwyn said smiling. "Can I have one?" asked Niki. "Which one?" "The gello incident." "Oh no, you can't have that one." "Why not." Gwyn smiled, "Because you're implicated in that one too." She said smiling at the cross look on Niki's face. "Anyway, back to business." Gwyn said as she rose.  
  
Holographic projection of the Executor  
  
"Sir we're entering the Andarian system." "Communication from the Rosebird." "Admiral Taylor." "Lieutenant, where is your Commander?" "On her way to the bridge sir." "Lieutenant, reporting battle group six safely through jump." "Thank you scan." "Commodore on the bridge." As Julie walked onto the bridge everyone jumped to attention. "At ease." She said, flopping a salute at everyone. "Ah Admiral Taylor, how are the negotiations going?" "Not very well." "Perhaps a display of what we're capable of?" "We're not blowing anything up!" "Not even that Goa'uld fleet behind you?" she asked as the Admiral bellowed at his scan tech. for not keeping an eye on the rest of the system. Julie turned to the three guys. "I take it you've been observing the controls?" "Well I have." Said Jonas, looking doubtfully at Jack. "As have I." Said Teal'c also looking at Jack; the only difference between his and Jonas's face was that Teal'c had a raised eyebrow. "What?" he asked. "She hasn't done anything." He said, pointing at the weapons tech. Who vacated the station for him. "I expect you'll learn quickly." Said Julie, turning to her senior techs. "I'd like you to stay on a while in case of problems." Julie told them, turning back to the command console. "This is Commodore King, all crew to action stations. I repeat, all crew to action stations." "Helm, minimum firing range from the Goa'uld."  
  
"Hails from the rest of the group." Said Jonas. "On screen." Said Julie, turning to the visuals on her screen. "Captains, take your ships to minimum firing distance as well, Admiral, can I suggest you give me your cruisers and hide behind the third moon?" "I will not." "Admiral, the Rosebird is a diplomatic ship with no weaponry whatsoever, if you don't get your sorry ass behind that moon I will fire! Ready ship killers." "Missiles loaded Commodore." Said the senior weapons tech, after showing Jack what to do. "Now see here you." "Get your god-dammed ship behind that moon admiral or I swear there is going to be dust in three seconds." Said Julie angrily waiting for the Rosebird to move. "Exec. of the Rosebird move your ship or I will blow it. I am ordering you to take command until your Admiral can see sense." The Rosebird began to move. "Comm. contact the Andarians and open a channel."  
  
Jonas's fingers flew across the panels in front of him. "Battle group six, launch ship killers on my mark." She said as a woman's face appeared on the screen. "Senator Consatine, I'm going to have to put our negotiations on hold for the moment while we destroy a Goa'uld battle fleet." "And you are?" "I'm Commodore King Senator." "Ah yes, I've heard a lot about you Commodore." "Good things I'm sure, but if you'll excuse me, I've got some blowing up to do." She said, gesturing for Jonas to cut the link. "Battle group six, mark." Julie said as she watched the missiles fly. "Four of eight destroyed Sir." "Battle group, launch weapon forty two." Three seconds later Julie's scan tech spoke. "One ship left Sir." "Launch 452 authorisation Beta zero 64571 Anomaly." Julie said as the nearest addition to Executor's armoury made the ship shudder as it launched. "Report." Julie barked. "Twelve ship flotilla just out of hyperspace at the edge of the system Sir." "Nearest Fleet post." "Three days." "Send a request for backup and minesweepers." "Sir." "How long till the Goa'uld reach maximum firing range?" "Two and a half days Sir."  
  
"Send the cruisers to mine a section in front of their path. All ships ready program 747." "What's that?" Jack asked. "Cloaking program, now's the time to test it out." "Jonas, connect me with the Rosebird." "Hailing." "Commander." "Admiral I suggest you jump out of the system now. There's a twelve strong flotilla two and a half days out and seeing as the Rosebird won't stand the heat I want you out." "Any last mail from your crews?" "No there isn't, we'll be just fine." Snapped Julie, breaking the connection. "Captains send your tac. ships into that crack on the fifth moon as a surprise for the Goa'uld." "Yes Sir." "Weapons, initiate weapon 747. That goes for you captains as well." Julie said, sitting into the command chair.  
  
Alternate Universe  
  
"Right then, reports." Gwyn said sitting down again. "Well we've almost completed the negotiations with the Novians." "Looks like your reports aren't as reliable as mine. The negotiations were finished about thirty minuets ago by Commander Pilgrim." Gwyn said, interrupting the Admiral. "Actually don't bother with the reports I know what you've achieved and it's bugger all." She said, slamming her sword hilt into and through the table. "And I know why." She said, sticking out her hand, a glow formed around her hand around all of those present except her self, Sam, Tam, Niki and a few of the officers. A stream of light flew from the glowing officers into her hand.  
  
"It appears we've been infiltrated." Gwyn said, turning to Niki. "It does indeed. Any plans of action?" "Yep, I'm going to send a broadcast." ~ "Lima 421, I repeat Lima 421." ~ Gwyn announced telepathically. "Umm, I just heard you say something in my head!" said Sam. "Congrats. Maj. that means you're one of us!" said Niki. "One of you?" "One of the talents." Explained Tam. "That calling signal went out to everyone on the base to tell them to relax and link. All you have to do is open your mind to Gwyn, don't resist the link or you will get a dreadful headache." Tam said, sinking back into her chair. Sam sat back and felt a slight tug in her mind. ~ "You're going to feel a tad exhausted after this Sam." ~ Gwyn projected her thoughts into Sam's mind as she gathered the energy of the generators. ~ I've boosted onto all of the available generators as well as using all of us on station. I've got a lot of trash to root out and some of the ships are very well flung, in fact, some of them are where they shouldn't be." ~ Gwyn finished, her face setting into a frown. ~ "We need to merge." ~ Gwyn announced to the entire network of talents. ~ Niki, Tam lead Sam through it for me?" "Of course." ~ they announced in unison.  
  
The Executor  
  
"How long until contact?" asked Julie. "Eight hours." Said Scan, the tapping of keys could be heard echoing in the silent bridge. "Julie." "What Jack?" "What would happen if I pressed this button?" "Which one?" "The big yellow one?" "It would destroy this entire sector of space." "Wow, why don't you just use it then?" "One because it would blow up the Andarians and two because we would die too." Said Julie, smiling at the look on Jack's face. "Can I push it?" "Did anything I just said enter that brain of yours?" "Can I push it?" "If you push that we die." Said Julie slowly, carefully pronouncing each syllable. "Cool!" "Jack, move away from the weapons board." "No." Julie raised a fist. "Do I have to hit you?" "No, I'm moving!" said Jack quickly moving away from the console. "Good, Stevens take over." The senior weapons tech took Jacks place at the board while Jack came and sat next to Julie.  
  
"Incoming message from Fleet!" announced Jonas, "Patch it through." "Captain, how's he situation?" asked the face that appeared on the screen. "The Goauld fleet are eight hours away from contact, Captain Pilgrim." Said Julie smiling "We're still just under ten hours away, even with the new sublight engines installed in Fleet's newest battle group. "Who's commanding battle group.?" "Lieutenant Admiral Dulcy is commanding battle group seven. All the big guns are presently occupied so Lily got a promotion." "Is that so Niki. You haven't done so bad yourself." "Yes well you know how it is." Niki said with a grin. "I suggest you put forward that you come in with 747 operational. It works very well." "Will do Julie, make sure you leave us something! Over and out."  
  
Conference Room in outer space  
  
As Niki and Tam led Sam into the merge the door to the conference room burst open and in scuttled Tris who approached Gwyn. ~ "I know you do not want to be disturbed Gwyn, but there is an important message from the SGC for you." ~ Sam heard Tris talking to Gwyn through the merge. ~ "One moment." ~ Gwyn replied, as she sent the serge of energy that the merge had been collecting. ~ "The Goa'uld have been assimilated." ~ announced the minds simultaneously. Gwyn's voice spoke out. ~ "Well done peeps, sign off if you're on duty and get some R&R and what not, you know the drill." ~ Gwyn let the collected minds melt away. "Well then. Tris, we'll have a snack and then be on our way." Tris nodded and left the room. Gwyn dialled up some high protein snacks and handed them out. "Lets go then." Said Gwyn through a mouthful, "Lets see what Hammond wants." Said Gwyn as Niki led the way out of the conference room and to her office.  
  
"Maj. Davis, how may I help?" Gwyn asked as she walked in with the others. "Do I know you?" "No, but I've heard a lot about you. I'm Gwyn." She said smiling, as she sat on the edge of her desk. "Ah yes, well, pleased to meet you. We've got a bit of a problem, you see it seems that SG1, minus Maj. Carter, and your friend Julie have completely vanished from the base." "Bit of a problem there I'd say Maj.. Good thing I know where they are then isn't it?" "You do! Where are they?" "In my computer." "What on earth are they doing in there?" Gwyn spun the screen round. Everyone stared at the scene on the screen. Thousands of dead bodies floated about in space surrounded by pieces of hull and droplets of liquefied humans. There was a strange animated person jumping up and down in the corner. It looked strangely like Apophis. Gwyn turned the volume on, "I won, I won, I won!" the cartoon Apophis said as it continued to jump up and down with glee. He then started to do what looked like a victory dance, personally it reminded Sam of a strangely demented monkey.  
  
"Julie stole one of my AI's which in her current form transports people into a holographic program. What Julie didn't realise was that if you install Miya onto a computer that can't control the technology you get sucked into the device. Now I knew that Julie had taken it and so I told Miya to bring herself back here as soon as Julie activated her program. Now, Miya activated the zip. in order to bring herself here, I take it that was how you got here Maj.?" "Yes I used the portal, I thought you had just left it open. No that was Miya's doing, she realised that Jack, Jonas and Teal'c were not members of Fleet and therefore someone would want them back." "So what your saying is, that this hunk of metal can think?!!" "Yes Maj. Davis, Miya is an intelligent being, that we recognise as sentient, however there are limitations to her programming, one which is that she can shift her current form whilst people are locked into her consciousness, as it were." Gwyn turned the screen back round, sat at her desk and started to type.  
  
"I'm just calling up the battle analysis, which will tell me how Julie handled the random situations thrown up by Miya after scanning the basic program." Gwyn read the screen before her and scrolled down, committing it to memory while bringing up earlier statistics from the earlier simulations Julie had ran. "Hmmm.., she did a lot better this time." Gwyn murmured. "Good, she left something in reserve, not much but something. and yet, she still ended up killing everyone." "You mean that Jack, Teal'c and Jonas are dead?" asked Sam worriedly. "Nope. But I sure as hell am gonna scare the pants off of Julie." Said Gwyn smiling wickedly. "And how are you going to do that?" asked Davis. Niki smiled. "I'm going in." said Gwyn simply, "You guys can come with me, but Julie won't be able to see or hear you. You however, will be able to listen to everything I say, Jack and the others will be able to too, and you'll probably have to explain it to them." Gwyn turned, "Coming?" they all nodded. "Right then, Miya, please activate holo. matrix, rewind five minutes." Said Gwyn, Sam and Davis gasped as space formed around them. "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, battle group six." Said Gwyn, gesturing to the ship in front of her. "Or rather, what's left of it." Niki said with a smirk. "Really Niki." Said Tam. "You know it took you thirteen tries to beat the Goa'uld in this battle." "Yes and so far, Julie's on twelve." Niki smirked as they glided through the debris to the remaining ship. "Watch this." Said Gwyn, as they glided through the hull.  
  
Bridge of the Executor  
  
"Sir, reports Goa'uld have destroyed all cruisers." "How many ships left?" "One Fleet, us, and fourteen enemy Sir. Tac. ships have been discovered and destroyed." Julie leaned over the board she was seated at and pressed a button on the board. "Crew of the Executor, this is Captain King, it had been an honour to serve with you all. You're all a credit to the Alliance." Julie pressed the button again to end the ship wide transmission. She turned to face Jack, Jonas and Teal'c. "That's it. We lost." She said simply. "We lost?! How?" asked Jonas. "Look at the display, you see any more red blips?" "No, there's lots of green ones though." "Precisely, they're the enemy!!!" said Julie, her fingers flying across her board. "So what now then?" "I'm initiating the self destruct." Said Julie. "So we're just going to blow ourselves up?" "Yes, one we can't let the Goa'uld have the ship, two I don't really want to be a host and three if we're going down, I want to take as many of these buggers as I can down with us." Julie finished speaking as a countdown appeared on the screen with five seconds on it. "And initiate." Said Julie as the clock started to go down.  
  
'Strange, no flash. What went wrong?' Julie asked herself. Se heard someone clapping and opened her eyes. She spun around, there stood Gwyn. "Congratulations Julie. You just royally fucked up." Gwyn walked towards her. "What do you mean? It was just a sim." "And yet you managed to destroy two battle groups, killing over five thousand personal, and you've killed three very important SGC members." Gwyn said, invoking the Admiral's right to interrupt. "So I've done the same as I normally do. Big deal." Julie threw her hands into the air in aspiration. "You know as well as I do that they're not really dead. "They sure as hell are! When you connected Miya to the SGC computer you secured their fate, and yours." Gwyn said, she seemed to grow taller with her rage. "But, why, how come." "Because the SGC computers aren't advanced enough to handle AI technology is why." "And that would be???" "Miya, is an AI who's current form is the holographic projector which you are stuck in." "You mean I have to stay here forever." Julie's face blanched. "Yep. You're stuck here until the programming in Miya either becomes obsolete or is not needed anymore. I'll leave you to your flashes now. Bye." Said Gwyn, waving and then disappearing. There was a bright white flash of light and then Julie slipped into a wave of unconscious dreams.  
  
"That was rather mean and unnecessary of you wasn't it?" asked Jack as Gwyn strode out of the infirmary, leaving Julie in the care of Lieutenant Yaris. "Mean yes, unnecessary no." said Gwyn slowing her pace a little. "It needed to be done. Now was just the first opportunity that presented itself." Gwyn stopped and turned round to talk to Jack. "Julie's got to realise that her irresponsibility affects others as well as just herself." Gwyn started walking again. A moment of silence passed until Gwyn's voice softened and she continued. "Until Julie realises that this is the only base she can ever call home she's a dead end. This is the First Fleet battalion base, one of many Fleet bases and yet the best there is in this universe. Julie has to realise that she is a guest here, she can't go back to the Army or Airforce base on Earth because it's too dangerous. Every single person on this base has sworn to protect Julie with their lives, swearing to destroy this base and killing millions of enlisted personal for her. Although they do not remember why this is so, just that it is and must be. If she doesn't buck up her ideas soon though I've no idea where they'll put her to keep her safe." Gwyn sighed, stopped and leaned against the wall. "They?" asked Jack. "The Council." Gwyn replied answering Jack's question. "All this is the will of The Council. You see, Julie is The One. She alone holds the power to settle the balance of the universe. She will be the fall of all we've built up or she'll be the fall of The Enemy, a power more evil than anything anyone can imagine." She shook her head as Jack spoke. "Why not just tell her." "I can't, nor can anyone. It would upset the balance, tipping it the wrong way." Gwyn walked forward again. "When the time comes for her to choose I must ask you not to interfere, and most importantly of all, you must forgive and support Julie. She will go through dark times, periods where she will not want to live. She must not be allowed to take her own life, for the future, as well as the present is dark. And I must ask you to forgive me for what I am about to now, non may know of all that I have told you until the time of the Choosing when you will remember the words of which I have spoken to you." Jack opened his mouth as if to speak. Gwyn performed a strange gesture and Jack stared at her for a moment before following her into her office.  
  
"So anyway, what do you think of our little moon base?" Gwyn asked, her mind on such a completely different track from the previous one that Jack wondered if he'd imagined the conversation completely. "We're on the moon?" "Not the moon above Earth." Said Gwyn smiling. "We're currently in orbit above Saturn." "Saturn?! I've never been on our moon let alone in orbit around Saturn!" exclaimed Jack, sinking into one of the chairs in front of Gwyn's desk. "You can go for a space walk if you want." said Gwyn, handing Jack an ID badge. "This entitles you to go almost anywhere on base, and on the moon." Gwyn's smile deepened. "The others have already got their badges. I've got to go to a conference meeting now, Tris and Miya are taking Sam round the lab again for a detailed tour and when Julie wakes up she can show you the new battle group." Gwyn stood up to leave her office. "Julie will probably come and find me when she wakes up so you can come to the meeting if you want and if I'm finished before Julie finds me I can give you the tour. Okay?" "What sort of a meeting is it?" asked Jack, he didn't really want to be stuck in a boring debrief of sorts. "A chewing out of my minions." Gwyn grinned evilly and sardonically. "Want to come?" Jack grinned back and followed her out of the office.  
  
As they walked down the corridor Jack and Teal'c came out of the mess. "Hey, you guys!" Jack shouted down the hall. Jonas and Teal'c turned as Jack started to speak again. "Want to come watch Gwyn do some chewin' out of her officers?" Jack grinned. "Bound to better than whatever it was you were going to do..." Jack trailed off mid-sentence as Teal'c raised his eyebrow. Jonas nodded in agreement and set off after them down the corridor. Teal'c thought for a moment about how strange humans were, shrugged and then decided to lower his eyebrow as his head was starting to hurt. "Here we are." Gwyn said, gesturing them to precede her into the room. As they entered the room Jack turned round to ask Gwyn something to find that she had disappeared. "Hey where did Gwyn go?" asked Jack. "I'm afraid Gwyn's a bit busy at the moment, she's asked me to take over for her. I'm Senator Stone you can call me Zara. Gwyn's sending Dr. Pitak along." She said holding out her hand. "Is Dr. Pitak related to Gwyn?" Jonas asked as he shook her hand. Her mouth twitched in what could have been a smile. "I guess you could say that." She said shaking Jack's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you Zara." Jack said thinking over the answer to Jonas's question. He shook his head and introduced them. "This is Jonas, Teal'c and I'm Jack." "You're the envoys from the SGC and Gwyn's friends then." She said, bowing her head to Teal'c. She gestured towards the table in the centre of the room. As Jack fell into step with her he opened his mouth to speak to her again. "So what's you're doctorate for? You're not one of those really irritating kind of Docs that are allergic to everything and then really piss people like me off with that complex language they love to use?" he asked her, smiling to take the bite out of his words. She returned the smile. "I have a doctorate in forensics and I'm also qualified in field medicine so you could say that I have the technicalities required to be one of those 'annoying buggers' as you so eloquently put it, but I'm just not. I annoy people in other ways", she grinned evilly at Jack and gestured for him to take a seat.  
  
She sat herself to the right of the head of the table and gestured for Jack to sit next to her and Jonas and Teal'c opposite. "Just play along." She said winking as a big stocky man with the tabs of a General pompously approached her. A group of officers gathered behind him as Zara rose to greet him. "Senator. Stone." He said saluting. "General, this is Col. O'Neill, Teal'c and Jonas the envoys from the SGC." "Pleased to meet you all." He said, dismissing them absently. He moved closer to Zara and lowered his voice. "Um. Senator where's Admiral Pitak?" "She couldn't make it. Something urgent came up, I believe she's sending Dr. Pitak in her stead." "Meaning no offence Senator, but how could she brief us on something that she couldn't possibly understand?" Zara's cheeked flushed ever so slightly before she got her emotions back under control and a stony mask set on her face. "That's because you should never judge on first appearances." The voice from the doorway filled the room with silence. Jack looked over at the door, a tall blonde stood there. "Would everyone please be seated." There was no question in her tone of voice as she strode towards the head of the table. "Except you General." She said. The man froze in his steps as he turned slowly round to face her. "I am aware of your dislike of myself and my methods. One more word out of you on that subject and you will never step foot on this base again. Clear?" he mumbled something incomprehensible. "Pardon?" "Yes Ma'am." He said, taking his seat.  
  
Zara silently handed her a disk, which she inserted into the tabletop in front of her. An aide approached clutching something. "Buzz off Falmer, if you hadn't noticed I'm busy." She irritably waved her hand at him while still reading the display in front of her. "That's fine Senator." She said, returning the disk to Zara and leaning forward to speak to Jack. "Um. excuse me Dr. but why are you here instead of Admiral." somebody plucked up their courage and spoke from the end of the table. "You don't have the clearance to know that Stebbins. But you're all stuck with me. Any other objections?" silence once again graced the room. "Good. What did you think of the holo Col.?" "Very impressive. Can't wait to see the real thing." "Glad you liked it, sorry for Julie nearly getting you killed and everything. She's a real bird brain when it comes to rules and safety is that one." "Sounds familiar." Said Sam, coming up behind Jack. "Insubordination Carter?" "No Sir, an observation." She grinned at him. "Anyway how's Julie?" "Still out." He said, standing up and gesturing for her to take his seat. "Why thank you." She said, sitting down. "Are you ill?" "What?" "Maj. Carter asked if you were feeling well O'Neill." "I know what she said Teal'c." Jack said. "I'm just being polite." He said, leaning on the back of the chair. Jonas looked at Sam curiously, who grinned back at him and twitched her fingers at Dr. Pitak after catching her eye. She twitched her fingers back at Sam and then stood.  
  
"Right then ladies and gentlemen, to business. I have some very important news for you all. We have been infiltrated." Everyone gasped. "Yo Carter, what does she mean?" asked Jack, bending down so Sam could whisper in his ear. "There are Goa'uld on the base, or at least were." She said, turning her head slightly so she could speak into his ear. "Shouldn't Gwyn know about this?" "She already does." Sam said, her breath tickled Jack's ear. "How do you know that?" "There was a meeting earlier that I went to, the majority of the officers there were hosts." "Oh right." He said as Dr. Pitak took a breath to speak again, after glaring at everyone to shut up of course. "Now that you've all expressed your horror at the fact that we've had spies among our ranks I'll announce that they have all been eliminated." Everyone started muttering amongst themselves again. "Silence!" the woman at the head of the table had suddenly turned into Gwyn. Silence took the room into its grasp as everyone stared at her. "That's better. You would be so insolent to me, so why did you dare to be so rude to someone sent in my stead?" nobody spoke. "No comment, from anyone?" Gwyn paused, giving anybody that wanted it the chance to speak. "So the let me think. Punishment." "But." someone spoke up and then obviously thought better than to say anything else. "Who just said But?" a lieutenant major stood up. "You out." She said, pointing to the door, which the lieutenant quickly slunk out.  
  
"As for the rest of you, you're going to be doing some testing for me." The faces of the officers around her fell. "Off to Dr. Howard. He's been waiting for some victims. sorry, volunteers for a long time." As Gwyn's officers marched out of the room they al had extremely worried expressions on their faces. "Well that was one hell of a reaming." Said Jack sarcastically to Gwyn, who was smiling, after the door closed. "It gets better. Dr. Howard is well know for the seemingly random side affects to his new serums and medicines." Jack raised an eyebrow. "Oh I see. What is the good Doc currently working on?" "A truth serum. He has unfortunately got some of the measures wrong and therefore the um, victims tend to babble slightly about some of the incidents in their life." Jack grinned. "Ready for that tour?" she asked. "Sounds good to me." Said Jack. "Lead on McDuff." "Who are you talking to O'Neill?" Asked Teal'c. "There is no one present named McDuff." "Never mind Teal'c, I'll explain later." Said Jack, gesturing for Sam to precede him from the room. "Why thank you Col." She said graciously, falling into step with Gwyn. "So where are we going first?" asked Jonas. "To see the new fleet. I've got a feeling that I'm going to have to assist in the speeding up of production." Gwyn said. "Now we can go the long way or the short way." "Short way." Said Jack immediately. "It involves a very fast slideway and some moon walking if you're up for it?" the challenge in Gwyn's voice was enough for Sam to turn around and look at Jack with a devilish twinkle in her eye. "Care to play a game Col.?" "But of course Maj." He said. Returning her grin. "Lead the way Gwyn." He said, unaware of the silent conversation that went on between Sam and Gwyn, conveyed in seconds by the twitching of their fingers.  
  
"Okay then, the slideway goes across to the main ship building facility on Callisto." "That's one of Jupiter's moons isn't it? I thought you said we were in orbit around Saturn?" Jack asked, pulling his thoughts from their previous tangent, what sort of game Carter was talking about, to the real world. "We were." Gwyn smiled at Jack's face. "The base is always switching orbits in a totally random pattern. We're on an asteroid powered by an enhanced generator. It's enhanced both with Naquada and Naquadria so it can move great distances simultaneously using rifts or if need be, travelling though slipstream. This is to present the destruction of the best fleet battalion ever to exist as well as for other reasons that I cannot tell you. Jack's mind flickered at this, as if he knew what Gwyn wasn't telling them but he just couldn't recall it. His mind wouldn't let him. He shook his head and turned to speak to Sam who was now walking along beside him looking mischievous. "Do you think you could rig something like that up for us Sam?" "Well I could Jack, if the SGC was on an asteroid and if we had some Naquadria." "Are we on a first name bases now?" "That depends if you still want to play the game Jack." She said, smiling as Gwyn stopped by what appeared to be a pipe and gestured for her to get in it.  
  
Sam quickly disappeared with a quick swishing sound. "Your turn Jack." Said Gwyn with an evil smile. Jack disappeared with the same sound that Sam had made. "What's the evil smile for Gwyn?" asked Jonas. "Oh nothing." Gwyn said still smiling, cocking her head as if listing to something while gesturing Teal'c into the tube. Jack flew along the tube looking at the blur of stars flying past the outside. Jack came flying out of the tube to land on his stomach in the darkness. "Oomph." Sam said as Jack landed on top of her on the floor. Jack pushed himself up onto his elbows and looked at the two twinkling spots of blue that were in front of him. "You were saying Maj.?" "I was saying. Did you want to still play the game Col." Said Sam, her arms tightening round his neck while the two drops of blue in the darkness twinkled mischievously.  
  
A.N. I've finally finished typing this part up!!! I can't believe it! Neither will Julie when I tell her to tomorrow but never mind. So evil aren't I? Do you know that I've been typing this part up for about five/six months now? We've had it written for about six and it's taken me ages to get it typed up and polished to some extent. Sorry for the wait folks. And I won't be able to post this for a bit as Fanfiction.net is down. I'm so unlucky. I finally get this typed up and I can't get into my account to post it. Anyway hope you liked it and can't wait to see what you think of it.  
  
We have elves.  
  
From  
  
Don't.Poke.Me 


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