Bleach, Inuyasha Twitchy

Summary

He wonders about his sanity and his newest creation's need to be dramatic...

Kagome/Aizen-ish. If you squint. !Crackfic!

A/N: So this is very OOC on many counts. It also came completely out of left field. I have no idea what inspired this. But I felt like doing it anyway. Done purely for the Lolz. And because I'm absolutely, completely, and utterely psychotic.

This is going up with several other Arrancar pieces I have planned. Later. Once I get them together.

And now, for something completely different... Crack.

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"Looooord Aiiiiiiizeeeeen!"

Sosuke Aizen immediately knew he was in for hell. That voice made him want to spastically twitch. And bang his head against the nearest wall. But that would require getting up. And he **was not** about to do that.

Settling back in his chair, he barely restrained himself from wincing when the door to his throne room flew open. The perpetrator grinned cheekily at him and sauntered in. He had to wonder why he'd turned this particular Hollow into an Arrancar. Sure, she was incredibly strong; his newest creation was not only pretty, but very capable of taking care of herself.

She was also a genius when it came to driving the others insane.

Kagome Higurashi threw herself at his feet in a ridiculous display of submission that he **knew** was fake, wailing at the top of her lungs about the newest travestity heaped upon her.

"And then... And then she called me a slut!" the dark-haired Arrancar shouted, large tears rolling down her red cheeks and big blue eyes staring up at him, "So I punched her! And she went through the wall! I apologized, but the wall can't fix itself and-!" He quickly knelt down and slapped a hand over her mouth. Kagome blinked up at him in confusion.

"What have I told you about babbling, Kagome?"

"Ummm... Not to?" was her muffled reply, then she added quickly, "Lord Aizen."

"Yes. And what are you doing now?"

"Sitting here with your hand over my mouth?" She licked said hand and he drew it away rapidly. He could feel a tick starting in his left eye. Again. She had the tendency to do that to him. Make him want to pull his hair out in insanity.

"Start... from the beginning, Kagome. What happened this time?" Aizen knew he was going to regret asking, but the former priestess was integral to his newest plan. He had to keep her happy if he wanted his plans to go right. His life sucked right now.

"Well... I was being good, just like I was told." He didn't believe that for a second. Records showed that she'd been traipsing around the Privaron corridors. She did that when she was bored. "Then, Loli came up to me. You know Loli, right?" Oh, he knew about the other female Arrancar. The dark-haired nuisance was a flighty little thing. "Well, she came up to me. I asked her how she was and all, and she started hollering at me about how I'm not good enough to even lick the dirt off of your shoes."

Kagome wrinkled her nose in disgust, "Why would I even **want** to do something like that?"

"Please continue, Kagome." He hated when she got distracted, but there wasn't much he could do to stop it. She was completely unaffected by his spiritual pressure and he wasn't about to beat her to death. She hadn't been **that** annoying. Yet.

"Right! So then she started saying all this crap about me," she continued, getting watery-eyed and dramatic again, "Then... **SHE CALLED ME A SLUT!**" She then proceeded to cry her eyes out... all over his nice jacket. With her huddled up in his personal space, he suddenly felt a strange urge to find a gun and shoot himself in the head. Or her. Both sounded incredibly appealing at the moment. It would stop her crying and get rid of his headache.

_'Great. Just what I need. A crying female,'_ Aizen thought sourly. He really hated when stuff like this happened. It was a ridiculous display of emotion. One he'd hoped to have trained out of Kagome already. But alas, **that** plan had backfired beautifully in his face.

He didn't realize that the small Arrancar had kept talking, despite hicupping the words out and that fact that he **couldn't** understand her at this point.

"So, you'll fix it?" Suddenly, her attention was completely fixed on him, almost all traces of emotional upset mysteriously gone. The only thing that gave her away were the tear tracks on her cheeks.

"Yes. I'll fix Loli so that she won't bother you about this again, Kagome," Aizen sighed, rubbing his temples and groaning inwardly at the blank look he received from his subordinate.

"Not Loli! I meant the wall! You'll fix that, right?"

_'What?'_

"What?"

"The wall that Loli broke? You'll fix it?" And there were those bright blue eyes practically begging him to help her. How was he supposed to say no to **that**?

_'Easy, Sosuke. You just say it.'_

"... Fine."

_'That's __**not**__ what I meant!'_

"Oh! You're the best, Lord Aizen!" Kagome gushed, pulling him down and kissing him smack on the mouth in enthusiasm. He blinked. What. The. Hell.

"I'll go tell the wall! You get some tools together!" the Arrancar shouted when she let him breath, spinning away and practically dancing out the door to a strange tune of her own making. Once she was gone, Aizen touched his lips dazedly and flopped gracelessly back into his chair.

Things were so screwed up around here now.

That Kagome Higurashi really knew how to mess with his head.

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Loli groaned as she pushed the door open to her superior's throne room.

"Lord Aizen! I want to lodge a complaint against Higurashi! She punched me through a wall for no reason whatsoever!"

Aizen sighed and resisted the urge to pinch his nose in frustration. Nothing was going to get done today. He could just tell. His plans for world domination would have to take a back seat today.

"You'll have to take a number, Loli. I'm still working on the one that Tesla lodged earlier in the week."

"Can't we just kill her?" Loli whined, not expecting the sudden rise in her leader's spiritual pressure. She dropped to the floor in pain, breath coming in short bursts from her lungs.

"Kagome is important to my plans, Loli. So, no. We can't just 'kill' her."

_'Besides, if there was a way for her to come back and haunt me, I don't doubt that she'd do it just to spite me,'_ Aizen thought, putting his head in his hands. He really shouldn't have tried to resurrect a former priestess and turn her into an Arrancar. Damn, but he had a massive headache.

_'Worst. Idea. Ever.'_

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Somewhere in Las Noches, Kagome Higurashi was smirking in victory at the thought of driving her "master" insane.

_'Master my ass. Nobody owns me. Nobody.'_

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A/N: And the craziness ensues! Go on. Laugh. It's quite all right. As always, I appreciate your responses and opinions. I had a lot of fun with this. I know it's stupid, and completely crazy, but the thought of Kagome driving Aizen insane was just so... entertaining. More to come from this realm eventually. Please let me know what you think.


End file.

Bleach, Inuyasha, Humor