Code Geass 1. A Megalomaniac is Born!

Disclaimer: I disavow any ownership of Code Geass or Pizza Hut. Similarly, I deny any relationship to, or involvement in the other various books, movies, video games, celebrities or television shows that I may refer to over the course of this story. If you did not know that before reading this disclaimer, please consult your family tree for inbreeding.

Imagine if the course of history had changed. Imagine if Britain had continued and succeeded in it's conquest of the world, bringing North America, Japan, and the Middle East all under its heel. Imagine if Pizza Hut(tm) became internationally popular. What would the people you know today be like?

Let's find out together, shall we?

Code Geass: Spoof of the Rebellion

In the year 2010, the Empire of Britannia invaded Japan, which, up to that point, had adopted a policy of nationalistic isolation. In order to be sporting to the small island nation, the Empire mobilized its newest weapon, the Knightmare frames: rollerblading, grappling hook shooting, giant fighting robots.

10 percent of Japanese casualties involved death or injury related to laughter.

Their abilities exceeded expectations by 250, and the Japanese defense crumbled under the might of Project Knightmare. Also, as a result of a bet made on whether the Frames would bring Japan to its knees or fail like the Hindenburg, the General in charge of the invasion was forced to spend a day in a chicken suit.

On national television.

And, he _liked_ it.

Japan became a territory of the empire, and was stripped of its rights, freedom, and even its name. The victors of the war gave it the name Area 11. As such, the Japanese became known as Elevens.

A few months after the initial invasion...

The Japanese soldier fought back tears as he stood at attention, saluting the funeral pyre that held the bodies of his comrades. Beyond him lay the wasteland that was once a popular vacation place for people from all over. Two boys, refugees and friends separated from their homes and family by war, sat nearby on boxes of equipment, thinking about their experiences over the past months.

One of them, a dark haired child, stood, his fists clenched and his eyes blazing with hate.

"Suzaku," he said to his friend, "I will destroy Britannia! I swear it!"

His companion, Suzaku, burst into raucous laughter. Wiping tears from his eyes, he smiled at his friend. "Thanks Lelouch, you always know how to cheer me up."

Lelouch grew angrier. "What was funny about that?!"

"You almost broke your arm beating your sickly, blind, crippled little sister in an arm wrestling match."

"I pulled something in the morning, I swear!"

"Dude, you have the physique of Spongebob Squarepants."

**Chapter 1: A Megalomaniac is Born! (Part 1)**

"Here is some footage of the bombing in Osaka. Eight Britannians were killed in the attack," said a news anchor as video of a burning building played behind her. She got no further. The television playing the news report turned off. The man holding the remote, an elderly gentleman, glanced at the cards in his cards in his hand as he looked into the eyes of his opponent, a nobleman smugly filing his nails.

The man's name: Baron George Williams, an aristocrat known for his fondness of gambling. He frequently invited opponents of all ages into his mansion to play all manner of games against him for money. Today's opponents were a team composed of the aforementioned gentleman and an unnamed second, who would take over after twenty minutes of play.

A matching smirk appeared on the older man's face. "You've fallen right into my trap, milord."

He placed down a card with a picture of a black spiral.

"First, I will clear the field of monsters with Black Hole. Then, I shall use Monster Revival to bring back..."

The Baron raised an eyebrow at the Duel Monster cards. "But we're playing chess..."

"Oh..."

They redirected their attention to their chess game, in which the older gentleman possessed considerably less skill. In fact, Baron Williams was explaining the queen's ability to move straight and diagonally when the door opened and two young men strode in.

They wore the gold trimmed black uniform of the Ashford Academy students. The pair were reminiscent of a knight and squire, or any other combination of leader and follower. One, wearing a striped motorcycle helmet, walked with an air of slight apprehension. By contrast, his friend, a dark haired teenager stood upright, and strode with the steady confidence of a king. A small, rather arrogant smile appeared on his face.

His predecessor breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank goodness you're here! How goes things at school?"

The Baron looked at the newcomer with interest. "A student, eh? What's your name?"

"A nobleman, eh?" He echoed. "And, its Lelouch Lamperouge."

"How nice for you kids to have so much free time..."

Lelouch's friend studied the chessboard. "Holy...I don't think you can win this one!"

"Relax, Leval. How long will it take to get to class?"

"Twenty minutes, give or take, if we rush."

"Well, remember to drive safely. This will be over in nine minutes." He turned to the old gentleman. "By the way, about that little matter."

In the interest of keeping things from the audience, man gave an equally vague response. "Yes, I'll talk to them."

He left, as Williams told Lelouch, as per his nine minute estimate, of his twenty second time limit between moves.

"That's plenty," replied the young man, picking up the black king.

Baron George laughed heartily at the decision.

Similarly, Lelouch grinned cheerfully.

Meanwhile...

The eighteen wheeler sped along the highway, with cars veering off to the side in order to avoid the presumably crazy driver.

Behind them, attack helicopters dispatched from the Royal Air Force followed closely, the pilots relaying directions on the truck's position back to headquarters (N.B. I'm just assuming, of course that the air force would still be called the RAF despite this being an alternate universe).

Britannia defeated Japan in the war. No one disputed this fact. Yet, the battle was not over. Most Japanese opposed the Britannian rule, and many chose to fight against it. These underground rebellions, small, but many, had been labeled terrorists by the government. But the virtually enslaved Japanese largely saw them as freedom fighters. The people driving the truck belonged to such a group.

One of the people in the front seat, a teenage girl with vibrant pink hair, gritted her teeth.

"Blast! They're still following us!"

"What do you expect them to do, stop for a bathroom break?"

"Well, that would help..."

In the air above, one of the aircraft's occupants crossed his legs. "John, I fricking _need_ to go."

"That truck is carrying a bomb! Hold it in!"

"That last cup of tea was a mistake."

After a PWNing at chess...

His pockets considerably heavier, Lelouch walked from the dark study of the mansion into the sun. Leval laughed aloud.

"Eight minutes and 32 seconds, I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't been there!"

"No big deal. I barely even tried. That worm of a nobleman couldn't play chess to save his life."

The jingle of a news report caught their attention. "Now, an announcement from the steward of Area 11 and third in line to the throne, Prince Clovis."

The students looked up at the TV screen attached to an office building.

A comically effeminate man in his twenties appeared on the screen.

"My friends and fellow citizens of Britannia!"

Here, he clutched his chest, face contorted in what he presumed a distraught, outraged expression.

"This violence tears my heart in two. I vow to you, I will make a firm stand against these terrorists! This battle is one for peace, justice, and the happiness of all people! Now, a moment of silence for those that we have lost."

Anyone watching cringed at the prince's ham acting.

In North America...

Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper wore identical scowls on their faces.

"We both give Prince Clovis two thumbs down." Said Ebert.

"Agreed. This man speaks with all the subtlety and sincerity of a sledgehammer." Said Roeper.

The other members of the private detective agency stared at them, confused.

In another part of N.A...

Adam Sessler shook his head in a despairing manner.

"Oh, this is just embarrassing. We give Clovis's performance a "one" out of five."

Every person at the room wondered what the banker was talking about.

In outer space...

"Woah. Somebody looks _fabulous_!" quipped Crow.

Tom Servo pretended to read a newspaper. "Hey, look at this. "Worldwide consensus to stop making cracks at David Beckham and Ryan Seacrest. World will now make cracks at third prince of Britannia."

(Note: This author would like a moment to apologize for the appearance of Prince Clovis. He was not meant to represent the average human male. We now return you to your scheduled Fan Fiction already in progress.)

Boy genius and hijackers with stolen truck. For all intents and purposes, these people from different worlds seemed unrelated. Yet, they were about to meet. And the alliance formed between them would cause their world to tremble.

As Lelouch suggested, Leval drove his motorcycle at a leisurely pace, allowing his friend to read from a small pocket book, as the wind whipped at his raven hair, driving fangirls wild.

Then, came the truck. Pulling onto the highway from an offramp, it appeared behind them, its horn blaring at the students.

"Hey, move it or lose it! Who taught you to drive, your grandma?" The driver shouted at them through a window.

Stung by the remark, Leval turned around. "I'll have you know that my grandma drives monster trucks for a living, dipwad!"

His retort left the detractor speechless. Slightly disturbed, the truck driver attempted to drive around the much slower motorcycle, forgetting that (A) the truck took up more than a lane's worth of space by itself, meaning no space, and (B) no off-ramp existed at that time.

In a scene destined to make the rounds on "World's Most Extreme Car Crashes", the truck fell from a short distance down to the construction site below, slamming into a half finished building. Bystanders looked on from a nearby sidewalk, making stupid comments, such as, "Gee, I hope they're okay.", and "Wow, that building is really strong. Look how it just absorbed the impact of that truck.", making video game NPCs everywhere proud.

"I bet we get blamed for this." Leval said, cringing at the destruction.

Lelouch said nothing. A strange sight had caught his eye. On top of the truck, the transparent figure of a young girl had appeared, beckoning to him.

"When you get back to school, cover for me." Lelouch threw his helmet to his friend, and took off running toward the crash site.

_On the next chapter of Code Geass: Spoof of the Rebellion: _

Nunally heard her brother's voice through the walkie-talkie. "Okay, now carefully cut the green wire. Just the green one."

"Are you crazy? I can't see the green wire!" But she certainly could hear the sound of the digital timer, ticking down toward zero.

Clovis sneered at an outraged Lelouch. "Killing me won't bring her back, you know."

"Fancy that." The dark haired teen emptied his handgun into the prince's head.

Suzaku leapt to his feet in excitement. "That's it! I knew it! The cure for the common cold is Windex(tm)!

_Don't miss it._


	2. All Heck Breaks Loose!

Code Geass: Spoof of the Rebellion

**Chapter 2: All Heck Breaks Loose!**

(The previous disclaimer applies. FOREVER. This author would also like to apologize for the delay, but finals precluded the possibility of writing, or for that matter, sleeping. Here's an extra big chapter to make up for it!)

In a matter of minutes, Area 11's military base transformed into a hive of activity. Not two hours ago, the army's liaison to the police had informed Prince Clovis about the truck situation. The nobleman practically leapt from his throne, shouting out orders to mobilize the Knightmare Frames and all available military personnel.

In the midst of all this action, a monocled general wiped sweat from his brow with an already filthy handkerchief.

"Listen!" He bellowed at the pilots. "We must recover that truck at all costs!"

A pilot stopped in his rush to a waiting cockpit. "So, what is in that truck that's so important?"

"Military secret, soldier."

"I can keep a secret, General."

"No, you cannot."

"Really!"

The General pulled the pilot close. "Okay, I'll tell you."

"Nunoya." He whispered into the pilot's ear.

"Nunoya?" The pilot was confused.

"Nunoya Business. Now get into your Frame and get moving."

Back with Lelouch...

Lelouch tried to move some of the debris that the truck had become trapped under. He really made an effort. Sadly, his physique had not improved at all since his grade school days. A large iron bar, which fell onto the hood of the vehicle, refused to budge against the not at all considerable might of one Lelouch Lamperouge.

Inside, the driver and passenger, came to under deflating airbags.

"Nakata, you okay?" Called the pink haired girl.

"Yeah." The driver shifted into reverse.

At that very moment, Lelouch climbed to the top of the truck. "Hey, can you hear me?"

A woman's voice replied, "I've found you at last."

Following the voice, he climbed into the vehicle's storage hold. Then, everything started moving. Moments later, Lelouch heard a voice call from the outside.

"Surrender! We have you surrounded!"

Combat helicopters of the RAF hovered alongside the truck, readying weapons.

Nakata glanced at his partner. "Well?"

The girl nodded, understanding.

Back on the high way, Leval idiotically wondered whether his friend was skipping school or not.

The helicopter pilots decided they had enough of waiting.

"Screw warning shots. Let's turn these guys into scrap." The gunner aligned his sights on the vehicle below.

But, that was as far as he got. A massive harpoon erupted from the truck's storage hold, impaling the offending aircraft. In a dramatic display of hydraulics and sparks, a "Glasgow" model Knightmare Frame leapt retracted the harpoon and leapt from the hold.

It fired its weapon once more, accounting for another of the helicopters.

The remaining pilot sat still in shock. "A Knightmare frame?!"

However, salvation was at hand. The pilot heard a deep voice on the radio.

"Pull back. I'll take care of this." A fighter pulled alongside the helicopter, carrying a purple "Sutherland" model Knightmare Frame. As the larger aircraft dropped its load, the frame's pilot expertly deflected another harpoon shot from the pink-haired girl.

"Whoever you are," the pilot shouted. "your outdated Glasgow will never stop my Sutherland!"

The robot leveled its humorously oversized submachine gun and opened fire.

The Glasgow recoiled under the impact. The girl's walkie-talkie crackled, and she heard the voice of her partner, Nakata.

"Karen, listen. We can't both die! I'll draw his fire! You try and escape!"

Further gunshots interrupted him. To his horror, he found another Sutherland waiting at a nearby offramp.

The girl in the Glasgow, Karen, felt the same sensation as she realized her Knightmare Frame's harpoon refused to fire. So, she did the next best thing. Karen fired her Frame's _arm_ at her opponent's machine, escaping in the ensuing smoke cloud.

_Meanwhile, in the storage hold..._

"Nobody knows the trouble I've seen..." sang Lelouch, sitting cross-legged near a large mechanical device he found inside. "Nobody knows my sorrow."

He sighed. "Okay, let me think. My cellphone is not working. I have no way of reaching the outside world. And Leval lacks the intelligence to call for help.

At that moment, Lelouch's friend pushed his fully functional and and completely undamaged motorcycle along the highway, complaining about being ditched.

"So," continued the dark haired teenager. "I guess I'd better try to figure out where I am, in case I need to escape. No, make that, when I escape. It's dark, and the road is rough. That probably means the truck entered the old subway system some time ago."

He picked up a walkie-talkie left by the two driving the truck. "Perhaps I can use this?"

_Back at the army base..._

The monocled general found a blue haired scientist staring at him slyly. His assistant stood behind him, nervously wringing her hands.

"What?"

"You're overreacting, sir."

"That's ridiculous." The general wiped his brow again.

At that moment a tank the size of a house rolled by, raising cracks in the road as it went. Following by air, massive bombers, carrying tons of explosives flew, flanked by attractive female combat androids.

"I'm guessing that what the terrorists stole was far more than military equipment. Rather, they stole something you researched in private, and kept secret from even Prince Clovis and Parliament."

The older military officer stood shock still, perspiration pouring from his bald forehead.

"I'd like to help you in recovering this thing, which they stole from you. You see, I require some data on a new..." He thought better of letting the general know any more. "Well, that's my secret."

"What did the terrorists steal?" Asked the scientist's assistant.

"A chemical weapon. Poison gas."

After Britannia's conquest of Japan was complete, its government forced most of the defeated Japanese people to live in small, overcrowded ghettos where their cities originally stood. However, the Britannian government offered the citizens the option of joining its army and becoming honorary Britannians. Some took this offer, hoping for a better life for them and their families.

At this moment, a fleet of airships carrying such soldiers flew over the Shinjuku ghetto. On board, a commander briefed them on their mission.

"The terrorists have escaped into the subway system. Our goal is the recovery of the weapon they stole. Search the Shinjuku ghetto, and report in when you have found the weapon or terrorists. The CA group will apprehend them."

Below, Japanese stared at the planes in terrified curiosity, some remembering long ago Britannian bombing raids. A very young girl wearing braids clung fearfully to her mother.

The commander continued, as soldiers rappelled to the streets below. "You may be honorable Britannians now, but you were once Elevens. Complete this operation successfully, maybe we'll treat you like second class citizens instead of crap! Show your patriotism!"

The commander felt foolish as he realized his audience took the form of an empty carrier plane and its pilot. All other military personnel had gone. Below, soldiers stormed the Shinjuku ghetto.

Injuries incurred from escaping the "Sutherland" frames forced Nakata to stop the truck. He gingerly touched the gaping wounds in his shoulder and chest, knowing that this was the end. Before the beginning of their mission, his conspirators equipped the truck with a self-destruct mechanism just in case someone captured them. He flicked the first of the activation switches. In response, doors opened, revealing the device he and his partner stole. Inside, Lelouch noticed the movement and attempted to stay out of sight.

Nearby, one of the honorable Britannian soldiers sighted the vehicle. He activated a homing beacon, signaling his discovery to his commander.

A pilot noticed the signal. "404 has found the target. Prepare to launch!"

The soldier pinned Lelouch to the ground.

"Who do you work for? Who sent you? And why are you killing innocent people?"

"I'm telling you, I'm not a terrorist!" The teenager kicked at his aggressor.

The soldier backed off, unwisely fearing that Lelouch might injure him.

The student reared to his full height. "If you're so afraid of people getting killed, then stop Britannia!" He assumed a pitiful imitation of a boxer's crouch. "Enough talk, you military bastard! It's go time!"

In the middle of thoroughly beating Lelouch to a pulp, the soldier recognized the face behind numerous bruises.

"Lelouch?" He removed his helmet. "It's me, Suzaku."

"Suzaku! You..."

Behind them, the machine blossomed into colors which could only be described as "trippy".

Suzaku tackled his long-lost friend to the ground, covering his mouth.

The glow dimmed, and an green-haired, unearthly beautiful young girl emerged, clad in what seemed to be an odd combination of a gag and straitjacket.

"Well," said Lelouch. "She doesn't _look_ poisonous."

Searchlights turned on behind them, revealing the commander of the honorary Britannian force, followed by many soldiers. The officer smirked.

"Nice job, Private Kururugi." He handed Suzaku his sidearm, a Microsoft(tm) SF52 9mm (Yes, in this alternate universe, Microsoft has a monopoly on the arms industry). "Now kill the terrorist."

"But, he's a civilian. He was just in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"You're disobeying me?!"

Suzaku turned around and smiled at his friend. "Yes. I refuse to harm innocent people."

"Very well, then. We will return him home with a military escort."

"Really?"

"No, you idiot!" He shot the soldier with the proffered handgun. Replacing the weapon in its holster, he ordered the rest of the soldiers to capture the girl and kill the student.

Inside the truck, Nakata heard all that occurred. _Well, we all have to go sometime,_ he thought.

"Long live Japan." He said, and with great aplomb, and a final, reverent look at a family photo, pressed the button, activating the self-destruct mechanism.

Boom.

Above the Shinjuku ghetto flew a massive military airship, Prince Clovis's private transport. Aboard, the monocled general berated lesser officers.

"You're telling me they got away?!"

"I'm sorry, but they had more explosives than we anticipated."

"...I'm not sure how to respond to that."

Clovis stood from his throne flipping his golden, shining flowing tresses dramatically. "Nevermind that. Proceed with the next phase of the operation, and tell the mainland that we are rezoning. Now destroy the Shinjuku ghetto!"

Knightmare Frame after Knightmare Frame appeared from the ship's launch bays, descending toward their target below. They launched their harpoons, smashing through buildings like paper. Britannian soldiers opened fire on civilians.

Not one person perished in the initial assault. As soldiers emptied their clips at Japanese civilians, the ghetto dwellers leisurely packed their bags, taking time to ensure that they left nothing important behind.

A lieutenant bowed his head in shame. "Dude, we suck _so_ bad."

His command nodded in agreement.

Prince Clovis watched the failure on his widescreen monitor. "Why can't our foot soldiers aim worth a rat's behind?"

An officer raised his hand. "Well, my liege, why would they want to? People want to get paid in currency, not the disembodied rear ends of rodents."

The elbow of a colleague met his side.

"Oh," said the officer. "You meant metaphorically. A thousand pardons, my prince."

He snapped his fingers, and live footage of the attack disappeared from the monitor, to be replaced by a "super-deformed" drawing of a Britannian soldier and a target. The cartoon soldier raised his weapon and fired, each shot missing terribly.

"You see, majesty. Our soldiers prove subject to the Laws of Humor (These words appeared over the drawings, as he spoke.) and Action Movies, which state that nameless, rank-and-file mooks possess all the aim and lethality of the average kindergartener."

The animated soldier's arms drooped, and he wheezed, out of breath.

"However, give a soldier a name and significance to the plot, and you will find his skill level increases to anywhere from competent to even formidable."

The "super-deformed" army man, now endowed with the name "Chuck", fired again, actually hitting his target.

Clovis stroked his chin thoughtfully as he watched the display. "Competent. I like the sound of that. And can we give our soldiers names and plot significance?"

"Not as of this moment, my prince. I blame my self for this lack of foresight."

One could call the Britannian military officers many things, but "not sycophantic" was not one of them.

However, the incompetence of the soldiers soon proved to have a dark side. Yes, there is a dark side to in competence. I'm surprised too."

The hundreds of thousands of inaccurately fired harpoons and bullets weakened the structural integrity of the Shinjuku ghetto's buildings. Parts began falling, injuring and killing Japanese citizens. In addition, soldiers also lost their balance, falling from considerable heights onto the people of the ghetto, contributing to the injuries.

An elderly man and woman watched the humorous carnage from their room. The old lady picked up her bag, joined by her husband, carrying his cane and luggage.

Red liquid splattered on the wall of their apartment.

The elderly couple stared in shock as a soldier fired at their refrigerator. The soldier stared at the destroyed appliance through his smoking submachine gun, product of the Verizon(tm) company. They make weapons. Deal with it.

"Why did you do that?" Asked the old woman.

"Because I hate ketchup."

He turned to his compatriots. "Now lets kill these old--"

He did not speak a single word more. A sizable fist connected with his jaw, the impact sending him over the railing. Two kicks followed, taking care of the other soldiers.

Britannian aid arrived in the form of the pilot Karen escaped from. As he had the ability to fight, a command of Knightmare Frames, and most important, a name (Commander Jeremiah), the Japanese fled in panic, as he fired his machine's weapon with actual skill.

One the "Sutherland" robots demolished a building using its harpoon. Nearby, a large group of people huddled in fear, trapped by the falling debris. Cruelly, the pilot leveled his submachine gun at them. As his grip tightened around the trigger, a small flying object caught his eye. He squinted, wondering what it was.

"Oh, my--!" As it tore through the bottom half of his Knightmare Frame, he recognized it: a small worn-down cane.

A distress call interrupted Jeremiah's rampage. He answered it quizzically. _What could be a threat to one of our Sutherlands?_ He wondered.

Then he saw the old woman! She leapt to the attack, a kick separating the cockpit from the rest of the robot. Her fists burrowed into the steel of the other Frames, and they exploded in a rain of fire and twisted metal. As she landed, her wrinkled face contorted in a predatory grin that the world had not witnessed in some time.

Her husband, retrieving his cane, wielded it as a sword, bludgeoning Britannian soldiers and tearing through Knightmare frames and military vehicles.

Jeremiah pushed his robot to its limits, doing his absolute best to avoid the couples scything blows and crushing kicks. "Fall back! Fall back!" He screamed into his radio, half out of breath.

The old man flattened the Sutherland's helmet.

Seeing an opening, he fired his harpoon. From somewhere in the rubble, a paper fan sped toward the weapon. The harpoon glanced against the projectile. This small alteration its trajectory was enough to change its target from the old man to a nearby Frame.

The little girl with braided pigtails caught the fan as it fell toward the ground. She normally considered her self an even tempered person, but not today. Not after seeing one of her friends badly injured by a soldier falling from the roof of an apartment after he had gotten into someone's liquor cabinet.

The three wreaked havoc, reducing units of Britannia's vaunted military to blackened steel and gibbering men. As Jeremiah sounded the retreat, swearing vengeance, the old man twirled his cane with a satisfied smirk on his face.

The child replaced the fan in her backpack. "Nice job, old-timer."

"Same to you, little one."

Lelouch watched the utter victory through a hole torn in the subway. He stared down at the unconscious girl. "I would blame you for the destruction of Shinjuku, I'm still processing what just happened."

She stirred and sat up, mumbling an inquiry to her location through the gag over her mouth.

"What?"

Suddenly, Britannian military personnel poured into the hiding place, aiming weapons at Lelouch and detaining the girl.

The commander of the force smiled nastily.

"You nearly escaped from us. Not bad, for a student. You are a true Britannian. Unfortunately, a dead one. We will tell the media that you were taken hostage and killed." He readied his gun.

"Don't kill him!" The girl dove in front of him as the commander fired.

She stood shock still, gaping at the hole in her chest. Then, she swayed, and dropped dead at Lelouch's feet.

"I would have liked the girl alive." The commander said. "But no matter."

_Is this it? _He wondered. _I'm going to die here, helpless to the end?_

He remembered his vow to destroy Britannia. And he remembered Nanaly, his beloved younger sister. Who would take care of her?

The girl's hand suddenly grasped his, and the world disappeared in a wave of color.

_It seems you have something to live for,_ a voice echoed. _I can help you to survive,_ it continued, _But only if you grant one wish of mine. Accept, and you will live as a human, but one completely different from your peers._

_Could you be more specific? _Asked Lelouch.

It continued, heedless of his question. _The king's power will grant you strength that most men would kill for. _

That sounded good. And since the alternative was dying...

_Very well. I accept._ He returned to the real world in a flash.

All this time, the commander trained his gun on the student. But why couldn't he fire?

Lelouch smirked, covering his left eye. "Can't shoot, eh? Have you learned that only those willing to be shot have the right to shoot at others?" He uncovered it, revealing a strange glow.

"Lelouch de Britannia orders you! All of you, die!"

They replied with cheerful grins. "Okay!"

And they promptly exploded, leaving Lelouch covered in something he would rather not be covered with again.

"Did _not_ see that one coming."

On the next chapter of Code Geass: Spoof of the Rebellion...

Uhhhh... It's a surprise! Wait and see. And by the way, I do not own Verizon and Microsoft. Now go celebrate whatever holiday you celebrate with your family! Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Happy Kwanzaa!


	3. Back to School

Okay, first things first. I have not vanished off the face of the earth. But, ever since the last chapter, I have been supremely busy, and struggling to keep my grades up. Take it from me, college is tough. Also, it was difficult to find material from episode two, so I have decided to skip to episode 3 (Lelouch returns to school, for those who don't know).

That said, thank you to those who have reviewed and faved this story. You're the wind beneath my wings, and I'm not joking about that.

Code Geass: Spoof of the Rebellion

**Chapter 3: Back to School**

As the former Japanese left the ruins of Shinjuku in droves, members of the Britannian military held confused conversations with one another.

"We're letting the Elevens go?"

"Well, it's Prince Clovis's order!"

"What about that gas we were supposed to retrieve?"

"Gas? I thought we were supposed to recover that green haired-"

"Dog! No, his majesty told us to forget about the green haired dog. _Shut up, you idiot, those rebels might still be listening in!_"

"I was going to ask General Bradley what was going on, but it seems he and his men have left their posts."

"They left Prince Clovis alone on the command deck?!"

"Oh, come on, Colonel. He's a big boy, I think he can be left alone for a few minutes."

"The last time you said that, he stuck his big toe in a light socket."

"We gotta send somebody up to that command deck. And hire his majesty a babysitter. I just hope he's not in trouble."

_On the command deck, where Prince Clovis is in trouble..._

...Although he seemed unaware that he had a gun pointed at his face. Clovis greeted Lelouch cheerfully.

"Brother, I'm overjoyed to see you alive and well! Now we can return to our home country together!"

Lelouch found himself possessed of a sick urge to run outside, grab a Knightmare frame, and level _that_ gun at his brother, just to see if he would feel threatened then.

He rolled his eyes, then activated his newfound power.

"Now, tell me. Who had my mother assassinated?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. I was hoping you did."

For the first time in his prince-in-exile-handsome-evil-genius-double-life, Lelouch Lampeouge was at a total loss for words.

"Ask Cornelia or Schneizer." Clovis continued.

"They did it?"

Clovis did not answer.

"You don't know very much, do you?" As if that was some surprise. He then opened fire, inwardly likening the deed to shooting a rabid dog, although without being an sickeningly overused subject for children's novels.

**Back at Ashford Academy (Lelouch's High School)...**

An attractive blonde haired student named Milly smacked Lelouch across the face with a rolled up piece of paper. "Lelouch, stay awake!"

Upon his enrollment at Ashford, Lelouch joined the student council, primarily to cement his reputation as "a normal, albeit ambitious student." It turned out, as usual, to be a bigger commitment than he previously thought. Mountains of paperwork, numerous meetings, and of course, planning the president Milly's next unnecessary festival (the next one was a celebration of a new pencil sharpener).

Leval smirked. "That's for ditching me."

"For the last time, man! The bike was fully functional!"

"I don't follow."

"Of course not."

Milly waved her paper. "C'mon, we have to balance the budget, get to work!"

Shirley, a friend of Lelouch, smiled. "Right away, Madam President!"

Milly returned the grin, hands on her hips. "Shirley, you're so nice and obedient."

She looked the girl up and down, moving closer to her face. "Not to mention, that awesome bod. You've filled out in all the right places. Nice rack, by the way."

Shirley covered herself with her hands, looking to her classmates. "Are you going to say anything about this?!"

Lelouch left off drooling a torrent. "Sure. Yeah. Uh huh. I agree."

Our protagonist's classroom was abuzz about an inevitably falsified news report about the activity in Shinjuku. People snuck nervous glances at the window, worried about the spread of poison gas.

Shirley tapped her friend on the shoulder. "Shinjuku?"

"Oh, I forgot, that's why I called you the other day. A friend told me about it in real time, and I was asking you if you had heard anything on the news about it." Lelouch replied.

As he spoke, his mind was at work. Why would they hide this? He wondered to himself. As he sat and thought, a sudden attack of nausea seized him. In a scene from a home movie gone wrong, Lelouch Lamperouge sprayed his classmates with the contents of his stomach. He smiled at the irate students innocently.

They must be covering up the truth about Clovis to hide the truth about Shinjuku and that girl, he thought. _I guess I did some real damage. _

**At a Britannian military base...**

The efforts of the army to investigate the Prince's assassination outraged Commander Jeremiah Gottwald, and his confidant Villetia Nu.

"Whoever did this, they tore through several layers of security at once, like they posed no obstacle to them at all."

"It was like that spy who hides in the cardboard boxes."

"Yeah, like Solid Serpent!"

Hey guys, guess what? If you don't say his name, you don't have to include a disclaimer!

Villetia Nu stroked her chin thoughtfully. "Still, without Prince Clovis, us purebloods in the army will end up overrun with-"

Jeremiah held a finger in her face. "Relax. I've got this covered."

Orange-kun x Villetia subtext count: 1

More next time.


End file.

Code Geass, Humor, Parody