Fire Emblem 1. Girls, Girls, Girls!

_In a brief moment of peace, a little bit off from where the troops have made their camp, there is a small villa. In the villa's small town square, there is a quaint get-together, with dancing and merriment. Several festively dressed girls are in center stage, putting on an innocent, yet somehow provocative, number for the men on the sidelines._

_Gatrie stumbles on stage, out of his armor, trying to get through the crowd of men without pushing anyone out of the way. He does not yet see the dancing girls._

_Multiple street vendors are calling out, advertising their wares, overpowering the sweet little ditty that the girls are dancing to. Many are selling food. One old man, far in the back, has a stand of apples. He, too, is calling, but not as loudly._

Gatrie: Excuse me, pardon me! (_To himself_) Gee, I wonder what this hubbub is all about!

(_A man, oblivious to all but the dancing girls, pushes in front of Gatrie in an attempt of gaining a better view._)

Gatrie: Um, excuse me. I want to get through.

Man (_not even turning to look back at Gatrie_): So do we all, kid. Now stop yapping so I can hear those pretty girls sing!

Gatrie: Girls? What girls?

Man: You know! The girls! The ones who are dancing in the plaza, as part of the annual autumn harvest festival. Now hush up kid so I can— (_Noticing Gatrie's intimidating height for the first time_) ah! Uh, here… let me get out of your way.

Gatrie: Um, thanks… (_He tries to go around the man stealthily, but ends up just shoving him into the crowd with his shoulder._) Sorry…

(_Gatrie spots the dancing girls for the first time. They are involved in a folksy number, somewhat between a tap dance and square dancing. All of the noise, all but the girls, seems to disappear. The spotlight gets more intense as the rest of the people on stage drift back into the shadows._)

Girls (_singing_): How pretty are we when we dance so freely?

Do we fill your throat with song?

Can nothing compare with our dancing this fine night?

It's only right you want to sing along!

(_As their pretty dancing continues, a faded light appears in the background, over to where the old man with the apples stands. Behind him, Heather is sneaking into the villa. She watches the girls dancing and smiles, casually slipping an apple into her pocket when the old man isn't looking._)

Heather: It looks like today is my lucky day!

(_Gatrie's little fantasy is broken. The lights come back up, the song and dance fades into the background, and Gatrie crosses over to Heather._)

Gatrie: You!

Heather: Yes, me. (_She walks away from him, casually circling the dancing girls like a predator._) Aren't these girls so… talented?

Gatrie: Why, yes! (_He pauses, and then glares at Heather._) I don't like how you said that.

Heather (_preoccupied with watching the girls_): Said what?

Gatrie: How you said that word: talented…

Heather: Then you disagree? Gatrie, the womanizer! Gatrie, the guy who has a different girl on his mind every night!

Gatrie (_very offended_): It's not like that!

Heather: It's exactly like that. (_Heather slides up to one of the dancers and imitates her. The girl giggles, flattered, and slows down in order to show Heather the correct movements for the dance._)

Gatrie: Hey! Stop that! (_He pulls Heather away._)

Heather (_angry now_): What's the problem? I'm just having a little fun. Or are you getting jealous? That's rather unbecoming of you.

Gatrie (_completely flabbergasted_): Wha—? J-jealous? (_He straightens, and lowers his voice to a reasonable tone._) Now, Heather… I just wanted you not to intervene with this little number of theirs.

Heather: Humph! (_She backs out of center stage._)

(_The girls come forward while dancing, the noise around them fades once again as they begin to sing._)

Girls: How pretty are we when we dance so freely?

Do we fill your throat with song?

Can nothing compare with our dancing this fine night?

It's only right you want to sing along!

(_The song begins to come faster and more complex as Gatrie steps forward, a singular spotlight shinning on him._)

Gatrie (_to the girls_): How pretty it is when you dance so freely

It fills my throat with song

And nothing can compare with love between boy and girl

(_Gatrie looks pointedly at Heather_.)

Gatrie: Oh ho!

It's the only right in a world of wrong!

(_Gatrie goes up to one of the girls, the one that Heather had been dancing with. He swings her around as he sings to her._)

Gatrie: So come here, girl, take this throne

When it comes to girls I've always… known…

(_Gatrie pauses dramatically. There is a fast drum roll, in which the girls wait patiently to dance again. When Gatrie sings and dances in front of him, they move behind him and act as his back-up dancers._)

Gatrie: Girls, girls, girls!

You are all so sweet

Girls (_striking a pose_): So sweet!

Gatrie: Girls, girls, girls!

So cute I could almost eat!

Girls (_in mock fear_): Oh!

(_Heather, feeling upstaged, walks out in front of Gatrie. Determined to win the girls over, she joins in the song._)

Heather (_pointing at Gatrie_): Girls, raise a hand!

Who really wants to be with _this_ man?

Because there's no doubt

You all can do whatever _he _can!

(_There is a bit of silence as Gatrie struggles not to take that bet. The girls watch him closely for his reaction. Finally, his manly pride wins. He steps up and does a short little tap-dance. The girls imitate him perfectly. Gatrie tries a somewhat harder dance. Again, the girls match him step for step. Finally, Gatrie ferociously spins about, creating a dance that's too complicated to memorize. But as Gatrie goes faster, he spins out of control, and nearly falls down._)

Gatrie (_not singing anymore_): So you think that you would really be a better choice for them, Heather?

Heather: I don't think! I know!

(_She goes back to singing, and the girls imitate her dancing like they imitated Gatrie's, although Heather's number is a lot more provocative._)

Heather: Girls, girls, girls!

You are all so sweet!

Girls (_striking a pose_): So sweet!

Heather: Girls, girls, girls!

So cute I could almost eat!

Girls (_in mock fear_): Oh!

Gatrie (_pride hurt_) No, you see, they need a protector

'Cause girls are weak!

(_There is a pause. Offended, all of the girls stalk over to Heather's side of the stage and glare at Gatrie._)

Heather (_laughing_): Some, maybe

But as least we think before we speak!

(_The girls laugh, and then position themselves so there is an equal number of them standing behind both of them._

Both: Girls, girls, girls!

You are all so sweet!

Girls (_striking a pose_): So sweet!

Both: Girls, girls, girls!

So cute I could almost eat!

Girls (_in mock fear_): Oh!

Both: And though we're different, it's true

Girls, girls, girls!

We both can do!

Gatrie (_no longer singing_): Hey! That sounds dirty!

Heather (_laughing_): Watch this, pretty boy!

(_Heather does a complicated number that has a hip-hop type rhythm in the same beat as the chorus does. After doing it once, the girls do it with her a second time._)

Gatrie: How about this?

(_Gatrie does a festive jig around in a circular motion with one of the girls while the others clap the beat behind him._)

Heather (_not waiting for Gatrie's dance to finish_): Hah! You call that dancing? Come on, girls! Let's show him how to move!

(_Heather grabs a flower from the florist's station and presents it to one of the girls, who curtsies and accepts it. Heather then grabs the girl around the waist and pulls her into a seductive tango. Gatrie's dance finishes, but his girls are now clapping for Heather._)

Gatrie (_singing and clapping_): Watch as they dip and prance!

Girls are so fine

(_Heather's dance finishes, and she twirls the girl away from her, who falls into the arms of the girls behind her._)

Heather: Yes, and that's why

Girls feel better around their _own_ kind!

(_One of the girls from the crowd grabs the flower the tango girl had held, and presents it to Heather shyly._)

Both: Girls, girls, girls!

You are all so sweet!

Girls (_striking a pose_): So sweet!

Both: Girls, girls, girls!

So cute I could almost eat!

Girls (_in mock fear_): Oh!

Both: I want one to court and woo

Girls, girls, girls!

We all can do!

Gatrie (_stealing the flower from Heather_): At least I'm an honorable man

And never steal

Heather (_patting Gatrie's gut_): Yeah, sure, whatever!

At least I don't snack between every meal!

Gatrie: I'm a man for hire, and it doesn't hurt

That I'm a good looker

Heather: You might want to change your ad; you

Sound like a hooker!

Both: How pretty it is when they dance so freely

They fill my throat with song

Nothing can compare with their dancing this fine night

It's only right we want to sing along

So come here, girl, take this throne

When it comes to girls I've…

(_There is a beat._)

Always…

(_There is another beat, and then a drum roll._)

Known…

(_The song stops for a second. Gatrie does a short tap dance. Heather follows it up with a hip-hop routine. Not to be outdone, Gatrie's tap dance turns into a jig. Soft and first, and then growing louder, the music builds up again. Heather grabs the flower out of Gatrie's hand, and after putting it in her mouth, she pulls Gatrie into a fox trot. All around them, the girls circle up, and start clapping._)

Girls (_chanting_): Girls, girls, girls!

Girls, girls, girls!

(_Gatrie and Heather stop suddenly and without warning, though the song and chanting continues without them._)

Both: Why are we dancing together anyway?

Gatrie: I hate you!

Heather: I'm gay!

(_At this point, half the girls are still chanting. The other half join Gatrie and Heather for one last chorus._)

Both: Girls, girls, girls!

You are all so sweet!

Girls (_striking a pose_): So sweet!

Both: Girls, girls, girls!

So cute I could almost eat!

Girls (_in mock fear_): Oh!

Both: So pure in heart and true

Girls, girls, girls!

We…

All…

Can…

(_There is a large drum roll, the longest in the number. The girls behind Heather and Gatrie are all doing different tricks. Some waltz together, some are tap-dancing, some are in a group and doing the original dance, and a couple are doing cartwheels. Gatrie and Heather hold up their arms as they dramatically finish the number._)

All: Do-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, do-ooh!


	2. Ode to Ike Revised

_The last battle has died down, and it is late at night.__ Ike and Soren are standing in front of Ike's tent, which is stage left. Soren is holding a list and is reading off from it. The only light they have is only by the small candle Soren holds, which is lighting Ike's face, making it appear pale. A soft spotlight is on center stage, where they stand._

_In the background, a soft ballad is barely heard._

_Soren's voice is drowned out by the sound of chatter outside. Boyd and Mist can be heard bickering loudly somewhere offstage; outside the tent, stage right, there is a group of soldiers. Everyone is saying goodnight to one another. _

(_Bit by bit the soldiers disperse. Soon, Ike and Soren are the only ones onstage. The ballad is a bit easier to make out.)_

Soren (_in monotone)_: So that's how much we spent… Supplies are running low. We need dried meat, fresh fruit… _(Soren glances up at Ike, who is swaying on his feet_.) Ike? Are you listening?

Ike (_snapping to consciousness_): Huh? Oh, sorry. I wasn't paying attention.

Soren (_sarcastically_): I would have never guessed.

(_There is a bit of awkward silence_._ The ballad stops playing._ _Outside, the crickets chirp. Ike waits a moment, and then rubs the back of his head._)

Ike: Sorry, Soren. Look, could you run the report by me again?

(_The ballad begins playing again. Soren's stiff posture softens._)

Soren: You're tired, Ike. You need rest.

Ike: You can tell?

Soren: Of course. (_Soren snorts. He seems to have smiled, but he ducks his head, leaving his face out of the light, and out of view_.) When you're not feeling well, your left eye twitches.

Ike (_blinking a couple of times_): That's… odd. I never noticed.

Soren: Get some sleep. I can manage things for a few hours.

Ike: Well, I am pretty beat…

Soren (_walking over to the tent flap and opening it_): Go. (_He points to Ike's bed and waits for Ike to go inside the tent. Ike walks over to the cot and stands over it, still not getting in. He turns back to Soren._)

Ike: You know, Soren? You're not nearly as insensitive as the others say. (_The ballad picks up. Ike nearly laughs as he talks._) Deep down, you're a big softie.

Soren (_back with his monotone voice_): Excuse me?

Ike: Oh, nothing. (_There is another pause. The chorus of the ballad plays sweetly in the background._) I'm going to bed now.

Soren: Hmm. (_In mock compassion) _don't let the bedbugs bite.

(_Soren blows out the candle and lets the tent flap fall. Ike crawls into the cot. All is silent except for the ballad as Soren slowly walks into the spotlight._)

Soren (_scoffing_): A big softie! Hah!

(_Soren begins to snort defiantly, but it turns into a semi-hysterical giggle. He cuts himself off quickly. The ballad turns sour._)

Soren: We're all overtired. This war is inane. Ike should not have to deal with… all this! Matters that don't belong to him!

(_Soren turns and looks at the tent. The ballad turns sweet again._) 

Soren: Look at you! But that's how it's always been. Off playing hero… There's a day that you will regret… (_He pauses, realizes that he's talking to himself_.) Overtired.

(_Soren turns away from the tent. For a moment, he almost appears to be vulnerable as he clutches the papers to his chest. The ballad stops_.)

Soren (_as if hypnotized_): Your left eye always twitches when you're upset.

(_Soren wanders around the stage as if he's lost. After a few seconds of mindless wandering, he almost stumbles back into Ike's tent._)

Soren: Your eye is twitching

And your shoulders droop

Stresses that come with leading your own battle troop…

(_There is a pause. The ballad starts up, and after a pause Soren sings very slowly._)

Soren: Your eye is twitching

And your shoulders droop

Stresses that come with leading your own battle troop

You know I would help you

I wish I knew how

What would you have me do?

What could I do now?

(_The ballad picks up to his usual tempo. It goes on independently for a while until it comes to the chorus_.)

Soren: Why won't you leave your burdens to me?

Isn't that the way friendship is supposed to be?

(_The chorus breaks off. Soren looses his sanity._)

Soren (_crossing over to Ike's tent_): Why? (_He talks to the tent flap, which does not respond to him_.) Why!

Ike (_groaning, voice heard from inside the still pitch-black tent_): Hmm? Soren? Is that you? Are you okay?

Soren (_seeming to collect himself_): Yes, Ike. Go back to bed.

Ike: 'ey. If you ever need to talk…

Soren (_shrilly_): Just go back to sleep! I'm fine! (_Soren talks in a softer voice._) Ike, you need your rest. Go back to sleep.

Ike: Hmm… okay. G'night, Soren…

Soren: Goodnight.

(_There is a pause. Soren walks back into the spotlight and he trips once. He looks around to see if anyone is around. The song starts back up with Soren's singing._)

Soren: I know you sense my pain

Asking why I'd cry

You're drying me insane!

Please don't ask me why

Please don't bother yourself with these problems of mine

I'm with you right now

You know that I'll be fine

I won't ever tell my secrets to you

Leave me to my own hell so I may die for you

Long ago I fell and I won't be reborn

Can't you see my heart is torn?

(_Soren crosses back to the tent. He takes a hold of the tent flap, and slowly peers inside. He continues to sing, very softly, and very lovingly._)

Soren: You're loosing your sleep

And your eyes are red

Stop staying up all night and go back to your bed

I'll watch over you

I promise that I will

And my word is true

So be silent and still

I won't ever tell my secrets to you

Leave me to my own hell so I may die for you

Long ago I fell and I won't be reborn

Can't you see my heart is torn?

(_Soren begins to sway with the music, in extreme slow motion, as if he's possessed._)

And lay back your head

Closing those big blue eyes

Forget all that's been said

Try to ignore my sighs

Why won't you leave your burdens to me?

Isn't that the way friendship is supposed to be?

(_Soren appears as if to enter the tent. Then he pulls back as if frightened, now completely aware of what he's doing. His voice turns sorrowful and sad as he finishes the final stanza slowly, as if it were a lullaby, drawing out each word carefully._)

And lay back your head

Closing those big blue eyes

Forget all that's been said

Try to ignore my sighs

Though I'd wish you'd hold me in your arms like you do

I won't ask you that…

(_The song drifts on without Soren, and eventually dies down to a mere whisper. Soren smiles to himself and sighs._)

Soren (_no longer singing_): I won't ask you that… because I love you.

(_The ballad stops completely. The spell that had come over Soren is broken. He is startled, aghast at what he has spoken out loud. He checks to make sure no one has overheard his bout of insanity. Then, with extreme stealth, he rushes off stage right as the spotlight on center stage fades away…_)


End file.

Fire Emblem, Drama, Humor