Twilight 1. We Can Do What We Want

**Chapter One: We Can Do What We Want**

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**Bella's POV**

"Fuck, you give me a workout, girl." Mike huffed as I rolled off of him. He wasn't the best in bed, but he was easily available which was convenient. I wasn't heartless, I promise. I just liked sex and Forks wasn't New York or anything, crawling with hot guys. Plus, Mike was a sweet guy. We weren't exclusive or anything, but none of the girls tried to get into bed with him anymore and I was happy about that.

"That was...wow." I lied. He'd came long before I did...again but I couldn't let his pride down. If I did that, who else would come over at eleven o'clock on a Tuesday night. He reached for a tissue and cleaned up before bringing me to his side for his usual spooning after sex time. I liked that he did this, I just wish it didn't happen every single time. Can't people just fuck and leave anymore?

"I should go," He sighed after a few minutes. "My mom's gonna be home soon and I don't want to worry her again." His mom was a nurse at the hospital and his dad was no longer in the picture which was good or else he wouldn't be able to sneak out at night like he did.

"Okay," I nodded as I stood up and pulled my robe on. I waited while he got dressed and walked him to the front door. He leaned down and gave me a quick kiss before leaving. I went to the kitchen and got an apple before going back upstairs. I checked on my dad to make sure he was still passed out before going to bed.

It had been just Charlie and I since my mom walked out when I was twelve years old. He was crushed when she first slammed the door in his face and he still hadn't recovered. He hadn't been on a date in the five years she'd been gone and the only time he really left the house was for work, for me, and to get more beer. He was a good father. He never missed a school event and he was always taking pictures of my milestones. But, in reality, I was more of a parent to him than he was to me.

Waking up the next morning was a lot harder than I expected it to be. Mike, even though he finished first, took forever last night and it was almost one by the time I was able to go to sleep. So, I pulled on a a sweater and some leggings and grabbed a gronola bar before heading off to another boring day at school.

It was a typical day, Mike wrapping his arm around my shoulder as we walked down the hall today, Mrs. Robinson spitting every time she spoke, and gross cafeteria food. The only thing that really made Forks bearable were Jacob and Alice, my two best friends. They felt the same as I did and we all made a pact when we started high school that we'd get out of Forks together when we finished high school.

But, that was still nine months away since senior year had just started two weeks ago. So, we grumbled about school and fantasized about what it'd be like to finally leave and go to California like we always planned to.

Mike was especially clingy that day and by the time sixth period rolled around, I was fed up with him.

"Why are you being like this?" I snapped in the hallway as he tried grabbing my hand. I was all for the sex and maybe even the title, but PDA was not something I was interested in. What we did was our business and not everyone needed to know what was happening.

"Are you my girlfriend?" He asked and I had to take a step back. He'd never mentioned anything about becoming officially exclusive and I wasn't sure why he was bringing this up now when we'd been messing around since prom last year.

"What?" I asked, trying not to look like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Are we together?" He asked. "Like, a couple?"

"Mike, not now." I huffed as I tried walking away, but he grabbed my arm, preventing my getaway.

"I want an answer, Bella."

"I'm going to be late to class." I seethed and he finally let go. I couldn't concentrate in math which was inconvenient and I avoided him the rest of the day. I was actually kind of pissed off. I thought it was understood we weren't going to see anyone else, why did I have to be his _girlfriend_ too?

I avoided him the rest of the week too. I could tell he was upset, but I just didn't care. I didn't want to deal with him and I just wanted to go to Jessica's party with my friends without Mike there to hover over me. I didn't want to hook up with anyone else, I just wanted some space and Mike had issues with that. He'd called every night to ask if I wanted to go with him, even though I told him no each time.

"Break it off with the guy, Bella." Jake told me as we sat in Alice's bedroom while she got ready on Friday. "You said it yourself, it isn't like he's a god in bed or anything."

"Yeah, but he's easily available." I argued as Alice pulled on her red heels.

"But what good is he if he's _always_ finishing first?" Alice asked and she and a point. I normally had to finish the job myself after he left and he was annoying me. But, for some dumb reason, I couldn't dump the guy. Things were easy with him. Or, at least they had been before he wanted to put a label on our relationship.

"I just don't know if...if I'm ready to get rid of him yet." I shrugged.

"You could probably have anyone you want and you're still choosing Mike Newton? The middle school dweeb?"

"Yeah, he was a dweeb." I agreed. "In middle school though."

"You have feelings for him, don't you?" Alice asked with the biggest smirk on her face. "I mean, you've dated a guy for...one month at the most. It's been almost four months since prom, Bella."

"I get it!" I shouted. "Just, leave me alone about it. I'll probably end it tonight if he's there and fighting with me about it." I assured them as Alice grabbed her blazer and we headed out to Jake's car.

We were late. As usual. But, no one cared. This would probably last until the cops got called since Jess's mom was probably out at a bard, getting drunk as well and her father was banging the assistant.

Forks really was a fucking messed up town.

Turn Down for What was blarring as we walked in. Jake went to find Leah immediately and Alice and I headed for the keg to get some drinks. The perks of being the daughter of the police chief is I could get out of pretty much everything. Including an underage. I looked around and didn't see Mike anywhere so I pulled Alice into the crowd with me and we started dancing together.

Alice and I had known each other since we were pretty much in the womb. Our moms had been best friends in high school and they were just like Alice and I. Always together and basically sisters. I was three months younger than Alice and she never let me forget it. I felt a pair of hands tighten around my waist and I turned, expecting to find Mike. However, it was Jessica's much hotter nineteen year old brother.

I shrugged it off and went with it. He was hot and Mike wasn't here. We danced for a few more songs before he got bored and went to find someone new. Alice and I took this time to take a break and get a drink.

It wasn't until two a.m. that the cops came and broke up the party. Since my dad was there late tonight, he let it slide but promised Jessica the next time this happened he would press charges.

He always said that.

Thankfully, I hadn't been too drunk and he drove me home and didn't try and give me the 'I shouldn't be drinking at eighteen' speech like he always did. He was a good father, he was just a normal person. He didn't try to hide the fact that he'd partied when he was my age and that he didn't lose his virginity to mom on their wedding night. As long as I didn't hurt anyone or get into major trouble, he didn't really care what I did.

I headed up to bed without checking my phone, and was woken up by the harsh ringing at eight o'clock the next morning. I blindly reached for it and saw that it was Mike and swore if he wasn't laying in a hospital bed, dying, that I would kill him. I answered it and shoved it to my ear.

"What?" I asked, trying not to be too loud since my head was pounding.

"I'm sorry." He whispered. "I shouldn't be pushing you."

"Mike, it's eight in the morning." I sighed. "This couldn't have waited until later?"

"It could have." He agreed. "But, it's been a really crappy week and I just wanted to stop fighting."

"Okay, well you're forgiven." I sighed. "Can I go back to sleep now? I have a hangover and I actually might be a little drunk still."

"You went to Jess's party without me?"

"I'm not going to stop my life because you're mad at me or whatever." I told him. "Yes, I went with Jake and Ali."

"Jake?" He asked and I could hear the annoyance and insecurity in his voice.

"Yes, Jake."

"The...self proclaimed man-whore?"

"He isn't a man whore." I told him. "Not anymore anyway. He has a girlfriend." I told him. "And that isn't the point, Mike. Goodbye." I sighed and hung up the phone. But, my head was really pounding so I got up to find an Asprin to help. But, after a hour of tossing and turning, I couldn't sleep anymore and headed downstairs to the TV room.

Mike called again, but he was just pissing me off so I ignored him. I'd known Jake almost as long as I'd known Alice. He was a brother to me and to hook up with him would be like the worst time of my life.

"Hey, kiddo." Dad yawned as he came and sat down next to me after an episode of SVU started. "Which one is this?" He asked. We were avid SVU watchers.

"The one where Elliot gets shot." I told him as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder. Our Saturday mornings were a routine of ours. It was really the only time all week we got to spend some father/daughter time together without him trying to be a father, telling me to do my homework and such. When it went to commercial, he got up and made us coffee and we spent the rest of the morning watching SVU and Suits.

"I ran into Dr. Cullen yesterday." He told me as we ate lunch together.

"Yeah?" He asked. His son was three years older than me and graduated when I was a freshman. "How is he?"

"Esme had the baby." He told me. Edward's dad and mom got pregnant when they were my age and his mom went out for formula and never came back a few months after he was born. Dr. Cullen was crushed and only recently just married. Dr. Cullen was the man in town everyone loved and rooted for through his relationship with Esme.

"Boy or girl?" I asked excitedly. I had a real soft spot for kids and I was thrilled when Dad told me they were expecting.

"A girl." He smiled. Dr. Cullen and Edward moved to Forks when I was seven and since he was the Chief at the hospital, him and Dad were close. There wasn't much crime in Forks, but it was always a good thing when the police and hospital were on good terms. "Rosalie Claire."

"Aww." I gushed.

"I told him you'd be up for babysitting if they needed it." He laughed. I started babysitting when my mom left to make some cash and to give me something to keep my mind off of everything and loved it. But, I hadn't done it since I started high school and it was so odd that he'd told them I'd do it. I mean, I would but still.

"Thanks, Dad." I laughed as I stood up and cleared the plates. My dad went upstairs and got dressed for work while I settled down on the couch with my hangover book. Halfway through _Pride and Prejudice_, my phone buzzed and I answered it without looking.

"Hello?" I asked, bookmarking my page.

"Bella?" A womans voice asked.

"Yeah?"

"This is Esme Cullen." She told me kindly. "Edward's step-mom?"

"Yeah, congratulations on the baby!" I exclaimed.

"Thank you." She whispered. "Your father tells me that you would be available for a babysitting job?"

"I can if you need me." I told her. Odd since she'd literally just had the baby.

"Well, I know I just had her, but there is a big presentation my firm and I have been planning for for months and little Rosalie is a month early." She explained. "It's next Sunday."

"I'd love to." I told her. Esme worked for a local design company and they were trying to expand where they would have offices and she was the best designer they had. They needed her and I understood. I got the time and the address from her before hanging up.

* * *

"Dr. Cullen won't have it very easy when that child gets to be in high school." Ali laughed when I picked her up for school Monday morning.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"I mean, Edward's fucking gorgeous and if she's anything like him the boys are going to be all over her." She explained. "And, I mean, I've never seen Edward's mom but Dr. Cullen is hot and Esme's beautiful so I can only assume."

"Why are you so weird?" I asked as I pulled onto Jake's street.

Mike ignored me at school all fucking day and I could literally care less. If he wanted to act like this, fine with me. Jake and Alice were right. I could literally have anyone I wanted to. I didn't need Mike and his inability to give me an orgasm before he finished. So, I made plans with Tyler, someone who never let me down, at lunch and made sure Mike was watching.

If he didn't want me doing this, he had to say something. I wasn't going to stop doing what I liked just because he was being a pussy about it. But, he never said anything by the time school ended so I headed over to the park where Tyler and I were meeting. His van was big and spacious in the back without only two small windows. It was perfect.

But, when I got there, Mike was sitting on a park bench, looking sad and hurt. He stood up as I approached him and dug his hands in his pockets.

"Please, don't do this." He begged. "I'm sorry for being weird about Jake. I know you guys wouldn't hook up even if he didn't have a girlfriend."

"They why'd you start that fight?" I asked, crossing my arms to my chest.

"Because, I...I was jealous, Bella." He shrugged. "You're a solid ten and I'm barely a five."

"You aren't a five." I sighed, pressing my hand to his chest. "You're a ten too." I smiled. "And, it's partially my fault. I just don't get why I have to be called your girlfriend? I thought it was obvious we weren't seeing other people."

"Then what do you call this?"

"A plan to get you to talk to me rationally." I told him and he couldn't help but crack a smile. "Look, I won't see anyone else as long as we're together, but don't go around calling me your girlfriend. It just sounds so damn cheesy."

"Deal," He sighed. "You wanna go back to my place?" He asked. "Mom's at the hospital til ten."

"Sure," I nodded as we made our way back to my car. "And, Mike?"

"Yeah?"

"Use your tongue." I whispered in his ear and I could see the hair on his neck stick up. "A lot."

Twenty minutes later, he had me screaming while I ground rapidly on his face. Damn, he was good with his tongue. I took a second to collect myself before pulling him up on top of me. I rid him of his jeans and boxers as he grabbed a condom from his nightstand. He covered himself with the latex barrier and slammed into me without giving me a warning.

For the first time ever, he actually gave me an orgasm with his dick and finished after I had. I kissed him passionately after he'd fallen on top of me, breathing heavy and covered in sweat.

"Thank you." I laughed as I ran my hand through his hair.

"Anytime, baby." He smiled, kissing me again before grabbing the tissues to clean up. This time, I didn't mind the cuddle time afterwards and we stayed like that for more than ten minutes.

Maybe things could work out with Mike.


	2. Halfway There

**Chapter Two: Halfway There**

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**Edward's POV**

"She's perfect, Edward." Dad sighed over the phone and for the first time since my grandmothers funeral, I shed a tear. I finally had a little sibling and my father was all healed. He would never again think of that bitch that left him. His focus would be on his wife and my new little sister. "She looks a lot like you, though."

"Really?" I asked as the girl beside me got out of bed, grabbing my discarded t-shirt from the night before. "I bet I was cuter."

"You were cute, but she's just...completely adorable." He laughed. "You should come home for a while,"

"Dad," I mumbled. He'd been trying to get me to go back to that forsaken town since I left three years ago and now he was using my beautiful new sister as an excuse. It was a little pathetic.

"Come on," He begged. "Esme would love to see you and Rosalie is brand new. She won't critisize you for anything."

"Ha-ha. You're fucking hilarious." I said as whats-her-name came out from the bathroom and crawled back into bed with me. She began to kiss my chest and grabbed me under the sheets. "Dad, I gotta...go." I said with a strained voice.

"Don't you dare hang up on me for some bimbo feeling you up." He scolded. My dad was fucking awesome. He understood being young. He'd bought me my first condoms and didn't even bother having 'the talk' with me. He got it. He wasn't going to try and stop me because he knew it would just make me wanna do it more. "I'm serious, Edward Anthony."

"Stop," I whispered at the girl who'd disappeared under the sheets. "Seriously, cut it out!"

"Whatever." She sighed as she got up again and gathered her clothes.

"Are you happy?" I asked him and I just knew he was smirking on the other line. "And, maybe I'll come home. I just don't have money right now, dad. Not everyone is a doctor."

"Well, lucky for you, your father is." He reminded me. "I'll buy you a ticket."

"Dad,"

"Edward, she's going to need help." He told me.

"What good am I going to be?" I asked. "I've never even had a baby grip onto my finger, what am I going to do with Rosalie?"

"You'll keep Esme company and make sure her sanity stays in check." He laughed. "I'd love to stay home with them for longer than two weeks, but I just can't. We're already short staffed, I can't leave them in the dark. Esme's a good mom, she'll be fine alone with the baby, I just think she's going to need company."

"When do you go back?" I sighed, he was using the baby to guilt me into doing this and I didn't like it. I hated Forks and I vowed to never go back unless someone was dying.

"The beginning of October."

"Buy me a ticket for the week you go back and I'll come." I gave in as the girl came out of the bathroom. I held up my finger for her to wait, and go the finger back in return. I rolled my eyes at her before saying goodbye to my father and hanging up. "Do you need something..."

"Jenna." She smirked. "And, I need cab fare. I lost my purse at the club last night."

"Not my problem."

"Fucking ass, give me some money!" She yelled and I was too hungover to fight with her. I grabbed my wallet and gave her a five. It was the only thing in my wallet other than the condom I'd had since health class in the eighth grade. She gave me the finger again and stormed out of my small apartment, slamming the door.

"Dude, you gotta start bringing quieter girls home." My roommate and long time best friend, Jasper, groaned as he walked into my bedroom. We could barely afford rent, but being poor in Chicago was better than being filthy rich in Forks. I think every teenager in Forks had the same plans. Make a best friend, go far away with them, and live together until you make it in the world or die.

At least, that was my plan with Jasper.

"She was a lot better when she was drunk." I shrugged as he threw me a clean pair of boxers. "But then again, they all are."

"Was she any good?" He asked. Of course she was. She was a blonde with big boobs. "Yeah, whatever. You get your guitar back yet?"

"I'm picking it up today." I sighed as I got out of bed and grabbed the half empty box of Chex Mix for breakfast. Dad knew I wasn't rich, but if he knew I was living off of Chex Mix and clubs, he'd blow a gasket and drag both of us back to Forks.

Jasper didn't have a choice. He'd been on his own since sophomore year of high school when his parents died a tragic death when they drove their car off a bridge. Dad and Esme welcomed him with open arms, but he could stay here. Dad would cut my leg off so he'd have a reason to take me back with him. So, I told him I was getting by but extra things, like plane tickets to Washington, weren't an option.

I worked at the bar which gave us just enough money to pay rent and keep the heat going, but for a lot of the time, Jasper and I lived by the light of candles and flashlights and I showered at work most of the time. Jasper had a better job, but not by much. He worked at a nicer bar in the rich part of town. The customers tipped better, but you had to work your ass off to get a decent tip.

But, we were living our dream. We had no one to answer to, hot girls at our disposal, and no responsibility. I loved my dad, but being the Chief of Staff's son had some disadvantage. I had to pretend my whole life so my dad wouldn't be talked about for it and he'd still be credible. I could have been a homeless drug addict and my dad still would have been the best thing that happened to the hospital.

But, Forks was a small town and gossip was the only thing people had to do with their lives. So, I did was I had to like a good little boy and got out of there as soon as I could. Here in Chicago, I could do anything and be anyone and no one would even notice.

I went down to the music store and picked up my newly refurbished guitar before Jasper and I headed down to Felix's garage. Felix, Demetri, Jasper and I had a good thing going. We got gigs at small clubs a lot and our low paid manager said we could go places if we got enough money to produce and tour. I wished sometimes I hadn't told my dad I didn't need money help since we could be big, but I didn't want to live off of daddy forever.

This was my turn.

We rehearsed for two hours like usual before packing up the garage. Felix came out to lunch with us and we tried to plan our next set of gigs around when I'd be going to Forks in October.

I honestly loved my life in Chicago. I'd tried the whole college life and went to class and typical college parties. But, after two years, I was done. I was tired of the schedules and being told what to do and when to do it. I was a free bird kind of guy and the musicians life was for me. After lunch, Jasper and I said goodbye to Felix and headed to the other part of town.

It was a normal night in Chicago. I tended the bar, flirted with all the pretty girls, and ended up in bed with one I couldn't remember the name of. Jasper said she wasn't as loud which was good for me I guess. Since he worked at a nicer bars, the girls were less frequent and I could tell he was starting to go through a dry spell. I vowed to help him with his little problem. But, even when I took him to my bar when we both had off, he flirted with the girls and stuck his tongue down ones throat, he still didn't end up going home with one. He had been a late bloomer though. It was our senior prom he'd finally lost it, but he hadn't had any problems before.

* * *

"Flight 364 to Seattle Washington will start it's bording process here shortly. Thank you for choosing Delta." The lady at the podium said into the microphone as I sat at the gate. I was dreading going home. I hadn't been home since I'd left home. My dad was never happy, but he understood it. He came out a few times a year, but I always insisted him staying at a hotel since my apartment only had two beds. And, his wedding had ben in Seattle, closer to Esme's family.

After a few minutes, we began to board and I sat in the back in the window seat. It wasn't a very long flight. Only fours hours and I slept for most of it since I'd been up late with a cute little redhead. It was past six by the time we landed and Dad and I still had a three hours drive. I told him I could fly into a closer city, but he insisted on Seattle.

He met me in bagage claim with the dopiest grin on his face and hugged me tightly. I had to admit, I was great seeing my father. We grabbed my duffle bag and headed out to the car. We talked about everything during the three hour drive and he was only able to talk about how precious Rosalie was. He promised me it was the same way when I was born, but I wasn't sure if I believed him.

Finally, at nine o'clock we pulled into the driveway. Since he was a doctor, we owned the biggest house in Forks which was kind of sad since it wasn't even a huge house or anything. Five bedrooms, two of which weren't even used as bedrooms. Esme was in the living room with the baby on her shoulder and she lightly patter her back. A small burp finally came out and I had to admit, she was pretty damn perfect.

Esme got up and handed Rosalie off to my father and came and wrapped her arms tightly around my neck. When Dad met her, I was one hundred percent sure she was the perfect woman for him. She understood how awful it was when my birth mother left and never pressured him into anything. She was fine with keeping their relationship and engagement long and I think waiting so long had made them a better couple.

"You seem thinner." Esme observed. I didn't have the heart to tell her I was surviving on beer and Chex Mix. "Does he look thinner?"

"I think he's just buying baggier clothes these day, babe." Dad smiled as he rocked the baby back and forth. I looked down at her in awe. I'd never really been this close to a baby this small before. She let out a big yawn and lifted her arms up in the air. I stuck out my finger for her to grasp and she did. Tightly. She had a good grip and I just couldn't wipe the stupid grin off of my face.

"You can hold her, Edward." Dad told me as he held her out in his arms for me. I looked at Esme and she smiled brightly at me. I put my arms out and Dad gently placed Rosalie in my arms, reminding me to watch her head.

There was something about a baby that made me just melt. I was a tough guy, but this baby made me want babies of my own and I'd never really wanted a family before. She opened her beautiful blue eyes and looked up at me and I swear she smiled. I knew people would say it was gas, but I didn't believe it. It was a genuine smile and no one would take that from me.

After a few minutes, she grew fussy and and I handed her back to Esme who took her up to the nursery.

"So, are you thinner?" Dad asked seriously as we sat down at the kitchen with two beers in front of us. I avoided his eyes as I took a sip, but my dad knew me too well. He sighed loudly in disappointment and I looked at him, ready to get a lecture. "Edward, I'll help you out if you need."

"I know you will, dad." I nodded. "I don't want your help though."

"Edward," He whispered. "You're getting thin and you aren't looking like yourself."

"Dad, this is the life I chose." I reminded him. "I didn't want the prim and proper life you wanted to give me. I wanted to struggle and be on my own without daddy's help."

"And you've done that." He nodded. "But, this is beginning to worry me, Edward. Come home for a few weeks. Get some meat back on your bones and just relax without worrying."

"I can't do that to Jasper and Felix, dad." I shrugged. "They need me."

"And I need my son to be healthy." He told me and I could hear the anger rising in his voice. "You're my only son, Edward. I need to know you're okay."

"I am dad." I assured him. "Sure, I'm a bit thinner than I was, but I'm happy and I will be fine." I told him. "Eventually."

"Edward,"

"Dad, you know nothing you say will convince me to come home for a long period of time." I whispered. "You know how much I hate this place."

"I just can't sit by and watch you wither away to nothing, Edward."

"I'll be okay, dad." I whispered. "You just have to trust me."

After dad grilled me and debated with me for another twenty minutes, I headed off to bed. I hated disappointing him and I hated scaring him even more. But, I was fine. Really. I was a normal weight for my height, I had just lost a lot of muscle since high school ended. Without baseball, there wasn't a big need to be lifting and working out everyday. He was just being a worrier, like any normal father.

But, since Rosalie was up every two hours, it was hard to get a good night sleep in the house. It was non stop and I had no idea how they'd been doing this for the past two weeks. It was already driving me up the wall and I hadn't even been there for an entire day. By the time I rolled out of bed, my father had already gone to the hospital and Esme was getting breakfast ready while Rosalie laid in the bassinet on the kitchen counter.

"She didn't keep you up for too long, did she?" Esme asked as I sat down at the kitchen island after grabbing a cup of coffee."

"No, I almost forgot she was here." I lied. I couldn't tell her the baby was annoying and loud. She was everything to Esme and I didn't know how hormonal she was at the moment to be honest.

"Good," She smiled. "She's all fed and burped if you wanna hold her." I knew what Esme was doing. She was trying to soften me up so one day, her and my dad could have grandkids. Not that Rosalie wouldn't give them any, but I was the oldest so I'd be first in the baby making department. But, Rosalie was freaking adorable and I went over and gently lifted her into my arms.

"Hey, you." I whispered as she looked up at me, wide eyed. I rocked her until breakfast was ready. After breakfast, I retreated to the living room to work on some new music while Esme gave Rosalie a bath and showered herself.

"I know your father asked you to come here to keep me sane and all," She laughed when she came downstairs in business attire. "But, I have a big meeting I need to be at and I have a babysitter coming for Rosalie. You can leave for a while if you want."

"Really?" I asked, trying not to sound too excited. The only thing worse than being back in Forks was being trapped in the house. She smiled and I kissed her on the cheek before going upstairs to get dressed. I headed out for 'town' just before Esme left and it was weird being back. People still remembered me and everywhere I went, people were stopping me to ask questions.

Questions I did not want to answer.

Forks was exactly the same. The sky was gray with heavy rain clouds and the streets were crowded with people who had nothing better to do with their lives than window shop in some small town. It only took an hour before I got sick of town and I headed down to where Jasper and I used to hang out. It wasn't in the best part of town, but it was our place.

By the looks of things, the abandoned wherehouse hadn't been touched since our senior class graduated. Each class had their own spot they called their own and down here was ours. I smiled at the blood stain on the wood that got there when Sam and Paul got into a fight about Rachel. The key on the wall that was for the bedroom lock. It was literally just as we had left it.

With the exception of the yellow police tape.

Chief Swan had been patient with us, but when four of the seniors had to be taken to the hospital after graduation, he had to shut it down. We'd found a new spot in the woods for the remainder of the summer, but no one had been allowed back in here since the beginning of June. But, it didn't look like the cops were keeping a close eye on it since the tape was on the ground, covered in dust.

After reminicing for another ten minutes, I jumped back in the car and headed back home. I did want to spend some good quality time with Rosalie since I probably wouldn't be seeing her for a while. When I pulled into the driveway, I was confused by the beat up pickup that was parked in the street. I shrugged it off and headed inside, just wanting to play with Rosalie.

"You are just the cutest thing." A girls voice cooed from the nursery. "Yes you are." She giggled. I poked my head through the door and saw a girl with wavy brown hair changing Rosalie's diaper. Since her back was turned towards me, I couldn't tell who it was while she finished up. She fastened Rosalie's onsie and picked her up off the changing table, turning towards me.

Bella Swan. The chiefs daughter. Now, she was hot for being three years younger than me and from what I heard, she was really good in bed. This might be fun.

"Hey," She smiled as she walked over to the rocking chair, sitting down.

"Hi," I whispered as she began rocking back and forth, trying to get the baby to sleep.


	3. Do Your Thing

**Chapter Three: Do Your Thing**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

I watched as Rosalie slowly drifted off the sleep before leaving the nursery. I hadn't expected anyone to be here since Esme was so desperate for a sitter and I certainly didn't expect to see Edward here. He'd left and never looked back three years ago and I was almost sure he wouldn't have come to his fathers wedding if it had been in Forks.

Once I was certain she was asleep, I walked out and went downstairs, expecting him to be gone. But, to my surprise he was in the kitchen fixing himself a sandwich. He looked over his shoulder and smiled at me, and I could feel my cheeks turning red.

"You want one?" He asked, pointing to the bread and cheese that was laying out.

"Sure," I smiled, sitting down at the kitchen island. I watched him as he made the sandwiches and just wondered why he was here. I mean, it wasn't like he had friends here since he'd taken Jasper with him. He handed my my sandwich and sat down next to me. "Thanks,"

"No problem." He whispered as he took a bite. We ate in an awkward silence until I finally gathered the courage to ask why he was here.

"What are you doing back in Forks?" I asked as he cleared the table. "I mean, I haven't seen you here since you left three years ago."

"My dad asked me to be here for Esme." He shrugged. "So, I came."

"Oh," I whispered, looking down at my feet.

"My question is why are you here?" He asked. "They knew I was going to be home this week and she'd known about this meeting for months."

"She called me right after she had Rosalie." I told him. "I didn't know you'd be home or I would have said no."

"Oh, I'm glad your here." He laughed. "Babies were never my strong suit." He told me. "I had to redo the health class flour baby project twice."

"I think a lot of boys did." I smiled up at him. He was standing close enough that I could see his eyes. They were a beautiful shade of green and he had a gorgeous face. His scruff made his eyes pop even more and his hair was slightly overgrown, but it was much nicer to look at than Mike's perfectly kept face. After a second, he broke away and opened a cupboard.

"You want some?" He asked, holding up a container of _Oreo's_. I nodded and he set them down before going to the fridge, pulling out the carton of milk. He filled one glass and put in between us, and we took turns dunking out cookies. Just as I was finishing up, I heard Rosalie stirring on the baby monitor so I excused myself.

I pulled her out of her crib and held her close to me as I walked back downstairs to warm up her bottle. Edward was sitting on the couch with his guitar and he was lightly strumming the strings, and he looked like he was thinking about something. I walked passed him and put her in the bassinet they had downstairs before going back to the kitchen. After I'd tested the formula on my wrist, I went back to give it to her and to my surprise, Edward had her in his arms and he was pacing back and forth with her.

"You seem pretty okay with real babies." I said, making him jump. "You wanna feed her?" I asked, holding out the bottle for him. He hesitated slightly before grabbing the bottle from me and sitting back down on the couch. He fed and burped her and you would have never known he'd failed that health class project. He was a natural.

Another few hours went by and Edward and I took turns passing Rosalie back and forth between the two of us. He was chatty which was something I never would have thought. From what I remember when he was in high school, he walked through the halls, ignoring everyone but Jasper and never went to school events. It was nice though.

Right before dinner, Dr. Cullen came through the front door and grabbed Rosalie from Edward and cuddled with her for a few seconds before turning to me.

"Thank you so much for doing this." He sighed in relief. "Esme would have been crushed if she couldn't go to that meeting."

"Oh, don't worry about it." I smiled, standing up and grabbing my purse. "Rosalie's a good baby."

"She really is." Edward agreed, making me giggle. The look on his face was priceless. Dr. Cullen put Rosalie down in her bassinet and reached in his back pocket, pulling out his wallet. He pulled out a fifty and handed it to me before taking the baby upstairs with him. I grabbed my sweatshirt and headed for the door, and was surprised when Edward followed.

"Thanks for the company." I smiled as he opened the door for me.

"Anytime, thanks for the babysitting." He laughed as he looked at me with his green eyes. "See you."

"Bye," I waved as I walked outside. I took a second to compose myself after my legs had turned to jelly before getting into my worn out truck. I drove home to shower and change before going to Mike's sine both our parents were working late that night. After a disappointing tumble in his bed, he insisted on cuddling since it was only Saturday and we didn't have to be in school the next day.

"How was babysitting?" He asked as he stroked my arms. Ever since we'd officially agreed to not see anyone else, he'd gotten clingy. I couldn't do clingy. It just wasn't for me and when we hooked up at prom, I didn't think he'd be like this since he treated Jess practically like shit. Ignoring her and breaking it off right before prom.

"Good," I sighed as I turned onto my back to look at him. He really was cute. His blue eyes popped against his pale skin and blonde hair. He wasn't terribly muscular, but he had enough to make his chest hard and he was genuinely a good looking guy. He just wasn't hot as hell like Edward Cullen was. "The baby was really good. She hardly cried."

"I bet the Cullen's are happy about that." He laughed.

* * *

Monday it was back to normalcy. Mike was protective of me, always having his arm wrapped around my shoulder. Jake trying to get a rise out of him by constantly lifting my shirt up while he was around and Alice laughing hystrically at how absolutely crazy Mike was.

Jake and Alice had a point. Mike was too protective and a little girlish with the way he acted around me sometimes, but he cared. He genuinely cared about me and not just about my body or how good I was in bed. He wasn't perfect and we wouldn't be together the rest of our lives, but he was good for now. I was comfortable with him and maybe that's what I needed for once.

Comfortableness.

But, no matter how comfortable I was with Mike, I couldn't get Edward out of my head. Sure, we'd known each other a few hours and didn't talk much, but there was something about him that made him unforgettable. I kept thinking about how his tight t-shirt hugged his body and how his scruff didn't look like a homeless person.

I couldn't describe it, but what I was feeling wasn't normal.

So, I did the only thing I knew how to do in a crisis. I talked to Alice and Jake.

It was the only day after school I'd had alone since that day in the park with Mike. We weren't going to the mall everyday after school like most couples in Forks, but he kept me busy. And, I liked all the sex, but I missed my friends so I was glad when he told me he had a dentist appointment after school. I met the two of them by Jake's beat up Station Wagon and we headed across town to the only good place to get food in the damn town.

_Hanks Diner_.

We sat down and ordered their famous bugers and talked about how good Leah was at giving head and how Alice didn't know how much she could take of this dry spell. I didn't understand. She had guys lining up over the summer and once school started, guys had found someone else. She shrugged it off, telling us she had her trusty vibrator to keep her company and Jake and I nearly spit our Cokes once she'd said that.

"So, we know you didn't ask us here to hear about how good Leah is with Jake's dick." Alice sighed as Laura put our food down. Jake watched her ass as she walked away and we both had to kick him and remind him of his totally hot, and out of his league, girlfriend. "So, why are we here?"

"Well, _A)_ Mike finally had something to do with his life after school." I sighed as I took a bite out of my burger. "And _B)_ something happened while I was babysitting for Dr. Cullen."

"You didn't kill that baby, did you?" Jake asked, one hundred percent serious.

"Yes, Jake. You cought me. I killed Rosalie and I'm telling your big mouth because I wanna get caught." I told him sarcastically, throwing a fry at him. "No, Dr. Cullen's son was there."

"Edward?" Alice asked and I nodded. "Why?"

"Don't know. They asked him to come and keep Esme company I guess." I told them. "And, like we'd never talked before then and it isn't like we got to know each other well or anything but..."

"Bella's got a crush!" Jake mocked, earning himself another fry thrown at him. "Well, do you?"

"Maybe?" I answered more like a question. "I mean, he's hot as hell and he'd probably be really good in bed."

"Cheers!" Alice laughed.

"But, I...I have something with Mike." I said. "And, it isn't perfect but it's more than a good time in bed. But...I don't even know what I'm saying."

"I think Jake's right, Bella." Alice sighed. "This sounds like a crush."

"I'm fucking eighteen years old!" I argued. "You make me sound like a sixth grader."

"A crush is different as seniors though." Jake piped in. "It isn't just he looks cute and I'd like to hug him once a week." He laughed because that's literally what everyone thought as a twelve year old. Hugging and how cute someone was. "It's about a...a connection."

"And a want to fuck that person in a public place!" Alice giggled as we just stared at her in amazement. Only Alice. "What? Is that only me?"

"Yes!" We said at the same time.

"But, serious talk, Bella." Jake whispered.

"This isn't anything major!" I told them. "So, I have a crush. Big deal. Everyone gets them and I probably won't see him again. Like ever."

"He may be in Forks more now that Rosalie is here." Alice shrugged. "You never know."

"Edward Cullen hates Forks more than anyone else here." I told them. "I can bet if his fathers wedding had been here, he wouldn't have come."

"Then whey'd he come now?"

"His dad begged him." I shrugged. I knew that for a fact since it was one of the first things he said to me on Saturday. "Just, drop it and forget I said anything."

"Fine, but don't come to us when your crush is something more than you signed up for." Jake sighed, sipping his drink.

* * *

But, it wasn't the last time I saw Edward that week. Dr. Cullen called me Thursday afternoon while I was with Mike, begging me to come over since Esme had come down with a serious case of the stomach flu and he had to go to the hospital with an emergency. I didn't really understand why Edward couldn't help, but I agreed to come over and got out of bed and started getting dressed.

"Don't go," Mike begged as he grabbed my arm as I fed it through the sleeve of my jacket. I pulled away and went over where my shoes were and pulled them on. "Come on, you're always running out on me."

"Dr. Cullen asked me to come watch Rosalie." I shrugged. "Esme's really sick and there's an emergency at the hospital."

"Have someone else take care of it."

"Mike, he's the boss." I laughed as I sat down on the edge of the bed. "I'll stay longer soon, okay?"

"Deal." He smiled, leaning up and kissing me gently on the lips. These were the moments I really enjoyed. Not that I would tell Jake that. I kissed him once more and grabbed my purse and left the house. It didn't take long to get to the Cullen's and he looked like he'd seen an angel when he opened the door.

"Thank you SO much!" He sighed as he let me inside. "You know where the emergency info is and Esme has locked herself in the bathroom." He laughed as he pulled his blazer on. "She said she's fine, but if there's a problem just call me or Marcus. We'll sort her out."

"Okay," I nodded as Edward came out of the TV room. I gave him a small smile and he nodded his head my way as Dr. Cullen said bye to us.

"And, Edward's here obviously." He laughed as he headed out the door. "Make him take care of her!"

"I think you're on doctor duty." I laughed as we stood awkwardly in the foyer before I went upstairs to the nursery. Rosalie was wide awake and smiled up at me as I lifted her out of the crib. I went downstairs and put her in the bassinet as Edward came over and handed me a glass of lemonade.

"Esme made this yesterday." He told me, sitting down next to me on the love seat. "It's even better than Mike's Hard."

"Nothing is better than Mike's." I laughed as I took a sip. I was wrong. This was better, but I wasn't going to tell Edward that. "Okay, you were right."

"Told you."

"Can I ask you something?" I asked and he nodded as he watched Rosalie in the bassinet. "Why do you hate it here so much? I mean, every kid just wants to get out of here, and I hate it just as much as everyone...but why do you refuse to come home?"

He was quiet for a long time and I couldn't tell if he was thinking or purposely ignoring me. But, finally he sighed and looked up at me.

"My dad grew up here." He explained. "The only time he left was for college and med school back in Seattle. Then, he came back because I was here with my grandmother. He was stuck here because of me. Because that bitch that gave birth to me left him so he was a single father. So, he needed to stay close to Grandma so he could work." He said. "He's stuck here and I didn't want that to happen."

"But, coming back won't change your mind of how you feel." I said. "You'd still hate it and you'd still leave once your visit was over."

"Maybe," He nodded. "But, everywhere I go, I see that bitch."

"Your birth mother?"

"Yep." He sighed, taking a sip of lemonade. "My dad wanted me to know her when I was little, he told me he couldn't tell a five year old that his mother walked out, so he showed me everywhere they went together. Where they went on their first date, their first kiss, where she told him he was pregnant." He explained. "Living here was just a reminder to me that she didn't want me."

I didn't know what to say to him, so I just sat silently, sipping my drink.

"I'm the reason she left my dad. He was happy, he had a good life. He was a star baseball player, smart, popular. And to top it all off, he was in love." He told me. "Then, she got knocked up and left once I was born. I just couldn't face him anymore, knowing that. I love my dad and I'd jump in front of a bus for him, but I couldn't stay here anymore."

"He misses you." I sighed. "I can tell when I see him around town. He looks happy with Esme, but he looks like he's missing something."

"I'm not going to be guilted into coming back for good." He huffed.

"God, I'd never ask you to do that." I laughed. Most teenagers were like Edward. They left for school and rarely came back. But, most of us did for holidays and special occasions. He was a special case. "I was just saying. He doesn't resent you or anything."

"How can you tell?"

"Because, my mom left my dad. I'm just a constant reminder of what he had with her," I explained. "But, I went to spend two weeks in DC on a journalism internship last summer and Alice told me he was like a ghost wondering around."

"It's different situations." He shrugged. "Your mom just left. Mine left because of me."

"Maybe," I nodded. "But, my dad loves me no matter what. And so does yours."


	4. In the Rain

**Chapter Four: In the Rain**

* * *

**Edward's POV**

"Here ya go, Esme." I smiled as I brought her a glass of water along with some anti nausea medicine. She smiled as she took it from me and gulped it down, only to throw it right back up. "Sorry I can't do more."

"This is perfect, Edward." She nodded as she lay back down. "Is Bella still here?"

"She just gave Rosalie her bottle and I think she's going to put her down for a nap now." I told her. Bella and I had talked for a solid hour and a half until Rosalie began screeching. Something about Bella was...different from all the girls I'd known. Most of the girls from Forks barely had a pulse, let alone a brain. There were a select few who could carry a decent conversation, but I'd never known any of them.

She was different though. She had dreams bigger than Washington State. She told me her and her friends were going to California to do anything. Bella wanted to go to UCLA and you could tell by the way her face lit up it was the only college for her. Then, she wanted to move to NYC or DC for a journalism job. I knew more about her in the small time we'd known each other than I knew about my girlfriend junior year of high school.

It was weird.

It was a good weird though. She was obviously smart and ambitious. And, to make her even better, she was smoking hot. Beautiful big, brown eyes, curves that could make a guy crazy and legs that went on for miles. Even though she had an amazing body, she didn't flaunt it. She kept what she wore modest but flattering at the same time.

I didn't even know what I was saying anymore.

But it was true. From what I'd heard she was great in bed and wasn't shy about liking sex. But, she didn't look like a slut like half of Forks which I actually liked. It showed she was more than just curves and boobs.

"Good, thank her again for me." She smiled as she rolled onto her side and flipped the TV back on. I took that as my cue to leave and I gently shut her door just as Bella was coming out of the nursery.

"Esme says thank you." I smiled. "Is she asleep?"

"No," She laughed. "But, she will be soon." She laughed and her laugh was also another thing I liked about her. I was in trouble. I'd known her a few hours and I was talking about how I liked her laugh. We walked downstairs after she grabbed the baby monitor and I opened my dads liquor cabinet.

"I found the good stuff." I laughed as I pulled out two glasses and filled them both each halfway with the amber liquid. "I mean, I know babysitting was always at the top of my list, but you are a teenager."

"It isn't even a weekend." She pointed out, taking the other glass from me. "But, okay. I'll go with it."

"To the almost weekend?" I asked, holding my glass up towards her.

"To the almost weekend!" She exclaimed, clinking her glass to mine and drinking the whiskey like it was a shot. I looked at her impressed. Most girls could barely down a shot of vodka. Bella really was something. I downed my own and poured us another round. But, since Esme was still sick, Bella denied a third in case Rosalie woke up before my dad got home.

We stumbled into the living room and plopped down on the sofa, our knees touching. I felt like twelve year old boy again. I was getting all excited about our knees touching, and she had jeans on so we weren't even skin to skin. I looked away, trying to compose myself before she sat up, seporating our legs. She rested her elbow on the couch and looked at me.

"What?" I asked.

"You're really...hot." She told me and I could see the blush creeping across her cheeks. "I'm not flirting, just stating the obvious."

"Yeah?" I asked and she nodded like she wasn't ashamed of what she'd said. But, I couldn't tell if it was the whiskey talking or if she was really that brave. "You're pretty hot yourself."

"Thank you." She giggled as she turned to face forward again. We talked some more before Dad got home, shaking his head at me as he helped Bella stand up to take her home. He ordered me to sober up before going near Esme or the baby and I went upstairs while he drove her home. I crawled into bed and fell asleep and didn't wake until the next morning as Rosalie screamed.

It was my last day in Forks and I hated admitting it, but I was almost going to miss this place. Bella was really cool and we'd just started to get to know each other. But, I didn't care too much. I missed Chicago and Jasper and couldn't wait to get back. Dad took the night shift that day so we could spend the day as a family.

It was really nice. Esme was feeling much better and cooked a huge lunch and I hadn't been so stuffed since Easter. I held onto Rosalie for as long as I could before my dad told me it was time to get going. I hugged Esme tightly and threw my duffle bag into the backseat before picking the baby up one last time. I rocked her until she was almost asleep and handed her back to Esme.

"Seriously though, call us if you need anything." Dad whispered as he hugged me tightly before security. "Please, eat more. You're too thin and it's beginning to scare me, Edward."

"I'll be fine, dad." I told him as I unwrapped my arms from his neck.

"Let me at least set up a food account." He pleaded and I was seriously considering it. I wasn't sure how much longer Chex Mix would work for us. But, I shook my head no and thanked him anyway. I grabbed my ticket and headed to the man in the blue security shirt.

* * *

The week after getting back was a little bit odd. I was just getting used to the small town life and being back in the hustle and bustle of the big city was going to take time to get used to. The biggest thing though was not seeing Bella. We'd only met twice and I hadn't even gotten her number, but it was weird. Knowing I wasn't going to see her probably ever again.

So I threw myself into work and the band. Jasper had done a lot of writing while I was gone and I was told to compose the music for his lyrics. So, I did just that. After work if I didn't have some stranger in my bed, I worked on the music. We were starting to get really good and I wanted to do something we'd never done. So, I shredded what I'd come up with already and started fresh.

Finally, after a week of composing, I was ready to play it for the guys. Jasper handed me my guitar but I shook my head and pushed him away, heading towards the cheap keyboard we bought at a garage sale. No one had touched it in the year we'd had it, but I learned when I was a kid when my dad thought I wasn't doing anything with my life. Whatever that meant.

I was only seven.

The guys stared at me in confusion, but didn't question me. I spread the music in front of me and started to play. When I finished, they were looking at me like I had three heads, but they looked happy. Jasper came over and clapped me on the back while Felix and Demetrie gave me the slow clap.

"That's great," Jasper nodded. "But, who's going to play it?"

"Me." I told them, and that looked like it concerned them. "What?"

"Who's going to play lead?" Felix asked.

"We can get someone new to play lead." I shrugged. "Or someone to play the piano."

How?" Demetri asked.

"We put signs up at the university's and nearby coffeeshops and anywhere people hang out and might see a flyer." I explained. "Come on guys, you remember how Jasper and I found you two, right?"

"Yeah, but that was freshman year of college." Felix sighed. "We knew each other because we lived across the hall."

"People respond to flyers, guys. Trust me."

And respond they did. The garage had never been so packed before and it was getting a little claustrophobic in there. But, it was good. We listened to all kinds of people playing and a lot of them could play both guitar and piano which was useful for us. But, this one linebacker looking guy was the one that stood out to all of us so we called him back, as well as four others for the final choice.

It was a kid named Emmett McCarty who we eventually chose to play with us. He shattered his knee his senior year and ended up not going to college. He was working as a mechanic for a pretty big auto body shop in the city. He seemed like a pretty cool guy and I could tell he was going to fit in well with us. After we told him he was in, we all went for drinks at my bar.

Since it was only a Wednesday, it wasn't very packed, meaning we could be as loud as we fucking wanted to be. We cheered to Emmett's arrival and got smashed with our new bandmate. He was a good kid and only drank two beers, telling us he'd be our DD if we needed. I fucking loved him already.

But, it wouldn't be a night at the bar without picking up yet another bimbo drinking something fruity and pink. But, as I flirted with her, I felt weird. She wasn't Bella at all and I actually hated it. She had fake blonde hair and her clothes were way too tight. Her boobs were falling out of her shirt and she just sounded like an idiot. But, she was a girl and I was horny as hell so I brought her home with me.

Jasper had apparently gotten lucky too, but they went to her place instead so we could be as loud as we could. It was fast and hard and thankfully, she left when we were finished. I wasn't in the mood to fight in the morning and I'd forgotten her name right after she told me. Sarah...I think it was actually.

The next morning was our first band practice with our new member. We gave Emmett all of our old music last night and he came in and was able to play most of it already. I gave everyone the new music and Emmett grabbed his guitar as I sat down at the keyboard. It was the best rehearsal we'd ever had and I thought we were ready for a new gig.

The Underground is the club we usually played at and they had an opening for the next Friday and I was stoaked. We had a completely new sound with the keyboard and Emmett might have been a better guitar player than I was. Not that I would admit it to anyone. After talking to Greg, the clubs manager, we headed our seperate ways and Jasper and I walked to the nearest subway station.

"That was AWESOME!" Emmett yelled after we'd finished our show at The Underground. He was like a kid on Christmas morning and it was so funny to watch. He was running around the back stage area, screaming and whooping about our show. And, he was right. It was fucking awesome.

"You were great, man." Felix said, clapping his shoulder. "Who knew a keyboard could make such a difference."

"I did." I laughed. "Which it why I wrote a part for it."

"True," Demetri laughed. We cleaned up our equipment and headed out to the bar area while another band got ready to play. We drank until they shoved us out the door at two am and for the first time in a while, I had no girl to go home with me.

* * *

The next month flew by. With Emmett, our band was better than ever. We were booking gigs left and right and I could barely keep up with writing new music. Luckily I had Jasper to help me, but that was a small bit of help for the massive amount of work we had. Dad even came out to visit me while Esme's parents were with her and Rosalie.

And, after a month, I still couldn't get Bella out of my head. Her brown eyes were glued in my memory and when I met a girl with blue or green eyes, I wanted to walk away. Maybe I was getting too old for picking up girls in bars, but I was only twenty-one. How else was I going to meet someone. So, I just tried to shove Bella out of my head while I was flirting and it worked.

For a little bit and then she was right back in my head.

It was awful. I'd never thought of one girl for this long...not even that junior year bitch of a girlfriend.

But, at the beginning of November, I had no time to think of Bella or any other girls. The beginning of November was when I got the call that not only changed my life, but Rosalie and my dad's.

"Dad?" I asked as I answered the phone. I looked over and saw that it was ten o'clock...he never called this late. I got out of bed, careful not to disturb the sleeping redhead, and pulled on my boxers before heading into the living room. "What's wrong?"

"It isn't your father, Edward." A gruff voice answered back and it took me a minute to realize it was Chief Swan on my fathers phone.

"Chief Swan?"

"Yes," He sighed and I could hear a sadness in his voice. "I think it's time you come back to Forks, son."

"Chief, what's going on?" I asked and I could hear my breathing becoming labored.

"Esme was in a terrible crash this evening, Edward." He whispered and I fell back onto the sofa's arm, trying not to fall flat on my face. Esme. My beautiful Esme. THe only mother I'd ever known was in an accident and from his tone, things weren't looking good. "She's...she's brain dead, Edward."

"No," I fought as I heard Jasper's door opened. "No!"

"I'm so sorry."

"No! Esme's a careful driver...no. She wasn't in an accident."

"She was, Edward." He sighed. "A drunk driver drove through the rail and smashed into her. She was brought to the hospital as quick as possible, but it was too late."

"Rosale?" I asked.

"No, Rosalie was with Bella." He told me and I found comfort in knowing Bella was with my sister. My sister was safe.

"I want my dad." I wined as Jasper came over to me. I pushed him away as I began to pace. I'd woken up the redhead and Jasper's brunette and they were both watching me now. "I want my dad, Chief Swan!" I yelled into the phone.

"Edward?" Dad asked and he didn't even sound like my father. He sounded dead to me. "Chief Swan wasn't lying."

"Dad, stop this." I said and I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes. "This isn't funny. Try another way to get me back to Forks."

"This isn't a joke, son." He whispered. "She was pronounced brain dead when she arrived in the ER this evening."

"Dad, no." I said and I could feel the tears on my cheeks. "No."

"Please, come and say your goodbyes." He sobbed into the phone. "I don't want to let her go untl you've said goodbye."

"Let her go?" I asked. "She can wake up from this, dad."

"She can't, Edward." He told me. "She's too far gone. She's never going to wake up."

"She has to!" I screamed, and I didn't care that I was a sobbing mess in front of Jasper and two hot girls. "Don't give up on her!"

"She didn't want to be a vegtable, Edward." He sighed. "We talked about this before we got married. I have to obey her wishes."

"Dad, no." Was all I could say as I collapsed onto the floor in a sobbing, snotty mess. Jasper came up behind me and began rubbing my back and I saw the girls had disappeared again.

"Please, come home." He begged as the two girls came out, fully dressed and heading for the door. "Please, she needs you. I need you."

"She's really gone?"

"She really is." He answered and I just couldn't believe this was happening.

"Rosalie," I cried. I had grown up without my mother and now my baby sister would too. But, at least I could hate my mom for leaving us. Esme had not control over this and I couldn't imagine living in a world where my mother had been killed by a drunk driver. "Dad, what about Rosalie?"

"I'm still here." He told me. "And, Rosalie will be okay." He whispered. "It's you I'm worried about."

"Dad, no." I sobbed as I put the phone down and curled up into a ball.

Esme. My mother Esme was dead. And I wasn't even there for her.


	5. For Me to Hold

**Chapter Five: For Me to Hold**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

It rained for seven days straight without any break in the clouds, without any sun to shine, without a breath of dry air. seven days. That's how long it took to plan her funeral after they'd pulled the plug. All of Forks was walking around, sniffing and sad looking. Even the high school, which was usually a loud mosh pit of idiots was silent.

I didn't believe it when my dad came to the Cullen's house. Still in his uniform with his police cruiser in the driveway. He looked even sadder than he did when Mom left and I didn't think that was possible. He told me and I told him he was a liar and slammed the door in his face, going upstairs to where Rosalie was sleeping. I watched as she took long, slow breaths and felt the tears in my eyes.

I slowly went back downstairs where my dad was still waiting on the porch, still with the same sad look in his eyes. He looked up at me and I fell apart like a baby in his arms, sobbing and he held me tightly. We hadn't been that close since Mom left. I cried until I heard Rosalie crying on the monitor and raced upstairs to grab her. Dad followed me and told me Esme was still alive, but she was brain dead. Once they turned the machines off, she would stop breathing.

Dad helped me get the extra car seat in his cruiser so we could take Rosalie to Esme. As I peered through the window to her ICU room, I tears up. She had all kinds of tubes and wires attached to her and you could barely recognize her. The only good thing was the driver had died instantly, and Esme was in no pain. Dr. Cullen was sitting by her bed, holding her bruised hand in his with his head in her lap.

I knocked on the door and he sprung up faster than I'd ever seen him. He saw Rosalie asleep in the carrier and began crying as he hugged me tightly. He kept thanking me and crying and thanking me and crying. I tore myself away from him, handed him the carrier, and ran out of the hospital, just in time for me to throw up in a bush.

And now, I stood in front of my mirror, wearing the only black dress I owned, ready to go to her funeral. They'd turned off the machines once Edward and her parents had arrived to say their final goodbyes. I watched Rosalie while Dr. Cullen dealt with funeral arrangements and Edward drank in his bedroom. Taking care of her was the only thing that kept me from falling apart.

I watched Rosalie at least once a week so Esme could go to meetings. During those two months, I'd grown very close to Dr. Cullen and Esme and I regularly ate dinner with them when my dad was working the night shift. They were another family to me and I felt numb inside. It was like losing another mom.

"Hey, kiddo." Dad whispered as he walked into my room, taking the bracelet I was trying to put on and clasped it to my wrist for me. "You about ready?"

"Yeah," I nodded as I walked over to where my shoes were. I slipped them on and grabbed my bag. I took a deep breath as I turned off the light and went downstairs.

The church was packed. Normally, everyone stopped by when someone died. But, Esme was so young and had touched the lives of so many people it was hard to find a seat. But, Edward had saved two in the front next to him and told us they were for us. Dad thanked him and sat down in the far seat as I sat down near Edward. Last time we sat together, I couldn't get the fact that our knees were touching out of my head.

After another twenty minutes, the Paster Webber got up onto the small stage area behind Esme's now closed casket and began speaking of God and heaven and how Esme was now with our Savior God. I thought it was bullshit. She was so young and just had a baby. If there was any kind of God, he wouldn't have done that to her.

Would he?

I mean, there are a lot of fucked up things that happen, but did that mean God wasn't real? Or, was it really just some sick and twisted plan of his? I had no way to know and right now, I was still stunned she was gone. So, I chose to be bitter and not believe in anything at all.

After he spoke for what seemed like hours, he called Edward up to the small podium. Edward sat in his seat until Dr. Cullen put his hand on his shoulder and leaned into him. I couldn't hear what he'd said, but they were both in tears when he finally stood up. He walked up to the podium and opened a folded piece of paper and set it down.

"Hello," He said into the microphone. "Well, Esme didn't give birth to me but, ah, she was more of a mom to me than anyone else so, I'm...I'm going to call her mom for the moment." He said and I could see he was already starting to shake.

By the time he finished his speech, I could hear everyone around me sniffling and as I looked around, everyone was dabbing their eyes. Even Pastor Webber had to take a moment before going back up to say another prayer.

Miraculously, it had stopped raining by the time Dr. Cullen, Edward, my father and three other men grabbed her casket and headed outside to the hearse. We all followed outside and her family got into a limo while everyone else piled into their cars. Since my dad was the Chief, we were ahead of the hearse and limo as a police escort. It was one of the only times I'd been in that car with the sirens on.

We drove to the hill where the cematary was located, just outside of town. I headed up the hill with Charlie and Jake by my side and gave Alice a small smile when I saw her with her parents and younger brother. Edward pulled us up near him again and I couldn't figure out why he kept putting me next to him.

Pastor Webber said another prayer and spoke more about Heaven before Dr. Cullen and Edward picked up the shovel and threw some dirt down onto her casket. The wake was going to be held at Edward's house and everyone started filing down the hill as it began to drizzle,but Edward made no attempt to move from his spot.

"She was the only mother I'd ever known." He sniffled as I stayed by his side while Dad and Jake went to the car. "Even before her and my dad started dating, she was my mom." He cried as he fell to his knees. "FUCK!" He yelled as I knelt down beside him.

"I...I just can't believe she's gone." He cried. "What is Rosalie going to do?"

"You and your father are going to tell her all about Esme." I whispered. "She's going to make it through this."

"My dad can't do this alone." He sighed, looking up at me with red, puffy eyes. I hadn't looked at him close enough yet and it was then that I realized he hadn't stopped crying. "He already did it by himself once with me, how is he going to take care of a girl alone."

"Everyone wants to help, Edward."

"No, everyone in this town is full of shit!" He yelled. "You and your father and a few other people are the only ones who came to the hospital to see her. You were the only ones who prayed with my father and offered to watch Rosalie while he planned the funeral. No one cares, really. They just say they do." He told me.

"I care," I whispered and he looked at me with tears forming in his eyes. "I care, Edward."

"I know," He cried as he put his head on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Dad and Jake staring at me and I just nodded, telling them to go ahead without me. Dad nodded and Jake silently asked if I was okay and I shook my head no. I watched as they got into the car and Edward lifted his head, looking down into her grave. "She's never coming back."

"No," I whispered as I tried to keep it together.

"I don't want to come back here." He told me. "Especially not now, but my dad needs me and he'd never agree to come to Chicago. Not now. Not when Esme is here. He'd never leave her."

"You could compromise," I shrugged. "You could move to Seattle." I told him. "It isn't perfect, but it isn't Forks either."

"I have a good life in Chicago." He told me as he brought his knees to his chest. "I have friends and a decent job and a kick ass band. But, Dad needs me. More now than ever."

"He'll heal, Edward." I whispered. "After the numbness wheres off and he breaks a few things, he'll heal. He might never be the same, but he will be okay." I told him and he looked over at me, his green eyes even prettier than I remembered. "And, life will go on. Rosalie will grow up and I'll graduate college and you'll do what you think is right."

"You make it sound so easy." He chuckled. "It isn't easy like that, Bella."

"No, but I have to believe that at some points, wounds will close and be nothing but a small, pink scar." I whispered. "And, Esme wouldn't want everyone to stay broken."

"So, how do we put ourselves back together?"

"By being with the people you love most." I whispered and he looked back out.

* * *

"Hey," Mike whispered that night as he stood at my door. He hadn't known the Cullen's very well since he'd moved her freshman year, and his mother only stopped by breifly at the viewing. He hadn't been through hell the last few days.

"Hi," I smiled, stepping out onto the porch, closing the door. He took off his jacket and placed it over my shoulders before we sat down on the old, rickety porch swing. He wrapped his arms around me and for once, I embraced it. I dug my head into his shoulder and began to sob. That entire week, I hadn't been able to cry. Not even at the funeral. But here, in Mike's arms I'd never felt more vulnerable and everything just...came out without warning.

And, instead of trying to find half-asked words of comfort, he just held me and let me cry. He hugged me tightly to his body and kissed the top of my head until, there were no more tears. Her dying was awful, but knowing that little baby was going to have to go through life without a mother made me sob. And Dr. Cullen was a good man. He waited so long to ask her to marry him and they'd just started a life.

"Rosalie is going to go through life without a mother." I cried as I lifted my head and looked into his eyes. "It's the worst. Not having a mom while you're a teenage girl." I told him. "You know who talked to me about my period? The school nurse. And the same went for trying to get birth control."

"It sucks not having a parent." He sighed as he pulled me closer to him. Mike's dad had walked out before he was born. There wasn't one single picture of Mike being held by his father. Not one memory of them playing baseball together. He'd just...vanished. "But, she'll learn to cope. I did and so did you."

"Why does this happen, Mike?" I asked and even he didn't have an answer. So, instead of waiting for one, I crashed my lips into his. I used to much tongue and I was too forceful with our kiss, but I was pissed off and sad. I grabbed his tshirt and pulled him impossibly closer as I wiggled my way onto his lap. He broke us apart and began attacking my neck. I moaned loudly as I slid off and grabbed his hand, pulling us inside.

My dad had been called into work for something so we had the house to ourselves. My lips were back on his as soon as the door was shut. I shed his jacket off of my and began pulling at his shirt. He lifted his arms and I tore it off of him before pulling at his neck, bringing our lips together again. He unbuttoned the dress I was wearing and let it fall to the floor.

We were pretty much naked by the time we got to the stairs, the only thing keeping us apart were his boxers and my panties. He pushed me back onto the stairs so I was laying on my back as I wrapped my legs around his waist. I could feel him through his thin boxers and used my feet to push them down his legs. He tore my panties off of me and entered me quicker than he ever had.

Since my dad could walk in at any moment, we kept it quick. He came before I did, leaving me hot and bothered while we got dressed. I wanted him to finish what he started. I wanted him to do anything to make me come, but I was too tired to argue with him. We got dressed again and fell onto the couch to watch an old episode of _The O.C_.

He left after the episode was over and I crawled into bed, hugging the blanket my mother left behind when she left. It was a tie dyed blanket, something my grandmother had made for her tenth birthday. It had been six years since she left, but I could still faintly smell her perfume on the fabric. It wasn't often that I missed my mom, but this was a rare occasion.

I cried myself to sleep, hugging the blanket close to me.

School was rough that Monday. People were pretty much back to their normal, idiot selves and I was not in the mood. I even dragged Alice and Jake into my english classroom to eat lunch. I did not want to deal with the lunchroom today. Alice only met Esme a few times when she redecorated her room when she was fourteen and Jake never knew her. They didn't understand how hard this really was.

But, they were good friends. They tried to keep my mind busy and off the subject as much as they could. They kept me talking about stair sex and how much it had hurt my back. Jake bragged about Leah some more and Alice informed me her dry spell was over. Embry was great in bed apparently which was surprising since last I'd heard, he was still a virgin.

But, once I got back home, the only thing I could think of was the funeral and her death and her being gone. It felt weird. I'd only really known her well for a few months, but in those few months, I was closer to her than I was to my own mother.

I threw myself into my homework, but since I'd worked ahead, there wasn't much to work on and I was done by four thirty. My dad came downstairs in his uniform to give me money for Chinese food, kissed me on the cheek and left for work. I hated that he had to work now. He hadn't had the time to be a sypathetic father this weekend and it was starting to get to me. Plus, Mike's mom was actually off today meaning he had to spend the day with her.

So, I changed into my oversized flannel PJ's, and turned on _USA_ which was running its usual Monday night _SVU_ marathon. I pulled my mothers blanket over me as I watched Olivia and Elliot chase down the perp. After two episodes, I thought it was time to order the food so I went upstairs to grab my phone. But, on the way there, I was distracted by the photo on my fathers dresser.

I walked inside and picked up the picture and smiled at it. It was a picture of the three of us on my fifth birthday. I had been so happy that day. She kept claiming I was officially not a baby anymore and I couldn't wait to be a big girl. They were both holding me on their laps, I was on a leg of each, smiling brightly into the camera. Dad took down all of the photos when she left, claiming it was too hard, and I never questioned it.

I just didn't understand why he had this out now.

I put the photo back and headed to my room to grab my phone. I ordered the food and headed back downstairs to finish the episode of SVU I'd paused to go upstairs. Just as a new one was starting, the doorbell rang and I looked at the clock. It had only been fifteen minutes, it shouldn't be here yet. But, I got up and grabbed the money off the coffee table and went to answer the door.

I was shocked and happy to see that it wasn't the delivery man at all. But, it was Edward was a bag from the Wine and Spirits store. He gave me sad smile and held up the bag.

"Hi," He whispered.

"Hey," I smiled as I let him inside.


	6. Only Memories

**Chapter Six: Only Memories**

* * *

**Edward's POV**

"So, are you staying in Forks?" Jasper asked the Monday after the funeral.

"I don't know," I sighed, not in the mood to talk. Dad was on the balcony with Rosalie in his arms.

"Are you coming home?"

"I don't know," I sighed again, just wanting to go and get drunk. But, I didn't want to drink alone. Drinking alone was boring, but I didn't have any friends in Forks. I mean, I guess Bella was kind of a friend, but she was underage. She wasn't going to get into the bar with me.

"What are you planning to do?" He asked. I knew he was concerned about me, but we had literally just buried Esme. I wasn't ready to think about anything, especially what I wanted to do after some time had passed.

"I don't know." I told him honestly. I wanted to go back to Chicago and work at the bar and play with the band. But, I also wanted to stay with my dad. He was so lost and confused without Esme, I didn't know how he was going to do it. And, I really didn't know how he was going to take care of Rosalie alone.

"Well, we're all here for you, man." He assured me and I only wished I'd brought him home with me. But, since she wasn't technically family, the bar wouldn't give him the week off. He loved Esme too, but the bastards would be bastards I guess.

"Thanks," I whispered, trying not to cry again. I was so sick of crying. It was pointless. It wouldn't bring Esme back. It wouldn't do anything but make me look like a complete idiot. "I gotta go," I told him and hung up the phone. I walked outside where my dad was sitting and sat down next to him.

He hadn't spoken much since he'd let her go. I knew he felt guilty for pulling the plug, but this is what she wanted. She didn't want to spend the rest of her life as a veggtable and he was only honoring her wishes. He did what she would have wanted.

"Do you need anything?" I asked after we sat in silence for a while. He looked at me with puffy eyes and gave me a small, sad smile. He shook his head before looking out at the small creek that was behind our house. "I'm gonna go drive around for a bit."

"Alright," He whispered as Rosalie began moving around in his arms. Other than today, he hadn't set her down since Esme died. I went upstairs and changed into a pair of old jeans and grabbed the car keys. I drove around and found the Wine and Spirt store that I thought was going to be closed after I left for school. I went inside and bought a bottle of Vodka and Jack Daniels, and once I was back in my car, I headed to the only place I felt comfortable with.

I didn't know how I remembered where the Chief lived. Each year, the seniors pulled a prank on his house, but that was January three years ago. I hadn't been there since. But, I guess it's just something you never forget. I grabbed the bag and headed up the walkway.

"Hi," I whispered when she answered the door. She saw the bag in my hands and opened the door wider.

"Hey," She smiled, stepping aside, letting me inside. She walked into the living room and turned off the TV before turning back towards me. "I just ordered Chinese food if you want some."

"That'd be nice," I nodded as I walked into the room and sat in the reclining chair next to the sofa. "Thanks,"

"What'd you bring?" She asked after an awkward silence. I didn't understand why this was so weird. We'd been alone together before and I'd practically cried on her shoulder yesterday at the cemetary.

"Vodka and Whiskey." I smiled and she giggled.

Damn she had a cute giggle.

After the ice had been broken, we had no problem talking. It was like talking to Jasper or Felix. Like I'd known her forever. We talked about how school was going for her and why she wanted to go to UCLA so much. About why I chose Chicago and how the band was doing.

"Are you going to move to LA for your music?" She asked as she grabbed a piece of chicken with her chop-stick. "Or is the band a side thing?"

"I want it to be my life," I explained, taking a bite of my egg roll. "But, LA is a lot more expensive than Chicago and we have a good thing going there. For now anyway."

"Well, I'm done." She laughed, throwing her chop-sticks into her bowl and went into the living room, coming back with the bag of liquor. "Shall we start drinking?"

"You're dad isn't going to be walking in anytime soon?" I asked as she grabbed two glasses from the kitchen. "Cause, I don't think getting arrested tonight is going to be a very good thing."

"Nope." She laughed. "He's working until morning."

I poured us two shots and we clanked our glasses together before tipping our heads back. She hadn't even brought out OJ as a chaser and I could tell she didn't mess around when she drank. We did this a few times before I began to feel warm inside and then, she opened the bottle of Jack Daniels for us.

It didn't take very long for her to be slurring her words and stumbling around. I understood though. She was so small and I was surprised she was still conscience at that point. I cut her off after she'd tripped over nothing and fell to the floor.

I helped her over to the couch as best I could since I was pretty drunk myself. She turned onto her side and smiled at me as I sat down on the coffee table.

"Has anyone ever told you how fucking hot you are?" She asked and I couldn't help but laugh. I'd been told that plenty of times, but it coming from Bella made it better for some reason.

"Nope," I lied. "Just you."

"Well, ya are." She nodded. "Like Channing Tatum fucking hot."

"Really?" I asked, trying to hide my amusement.

"Yeah, but I haven't seen you shirtless." She mused. "Take off your shirt."

"Maybe later."

"No, now." She demanded. I could tell she would just keep asking me so I sighed as I stood up, sliding my t-shirt off my head. She sat up and looked at me carefully, before bringing her cold hands to my chest. I inhaled deeply as she began to trace my abs with her hands.

"Fucking hot." She whispered. I smiled smugly as she lay back down. I pulled my shirt over my head and sat back down. "You wanna do it?" She asked and I nearly choked on my water.

"Maybe later." I told her. I thought it would be wonderful to fuck her, but not now. I'd never take advantage of a girl before. Well, I mean I had, but Bella was different. She wasn't some random girl from the bar and if we were going to do it, it would mean something.

Something more than a drunken night.

She fell asleep after her offer and I sobered up some more before carrying her upstairs. I laid her gently down in her bed before going back downstairs to clean up. I didn't want the chief to come home to a mess. Just as I was throwing away the left over food off my plate, the doorbell rang.

"Hello?" A blonde haired kid said once I opened the door. I looked at him in confusion, he looked familiar, but I couldn't remember from where. "Who are you?"

"Edward," I told him. "I'm a friend of Bella's."

"Okay?" He asked. He was totally lost and in my still drunkenness, I thought it was pretty funny. "Well, I'm her boyfriend," That sobered me up. "Is she here?"

"She's asleep."

"It's ten o'clock."

"She's still asleep." I told him. She was like a twenty and he was barely a four. How was he with her? And...Bella did the whole _commitment_ thing? "We were drinking and she passed out."

"You got her drunk?" He asked like he did not approve.

"Yep." I told him. "It's been a fucking shitty week for both of us. We deserved it."

"Whatever." He sighed, trying to push past me, but I stopped him. "Fucking let me inside!"

"No, she's sleeping." I reminded him. "Just let her sleep."

"We had plans."

"Well, you don't anymore." I sighed, pushing him back out the door and slamming it in his face. The look on his face was priceless and I only wish I could have gotten a picture of it.

"Thank the Lord!" I heard Bella laugh from the stairs. I turned to see her in an oversized t-shirt, her hair in a bun, and her glasses on. "I did not want to deal with him tonight."

"What are you doing up?"

"Mike's wining woke me up." She giggled. She was still pretty drunk. "So, while he was acting like an ass, I changed and got my contacts out."

"You got your contacts out while you were still drunk?"

"It's one of my many talents." She laughed. "Thanks for getting rid of him."

"No problem." I smiled. "I should get home."

"No you should not!" She squeaked as she bolted down the stairs, tripping over her feet once she got down to the floor. "Not while you're still drunk."

"I'm fine."

"I bet that's what the driver who killed Esme said." She whispered and she was right. Drinking and driving was no longer an option. Ever. Even if I was only a little drunk. "I'll call my dad and told him you're going to be here when he gets home."

"He'll kill me!"

"You're twenty-one." She smirked. "He can't do anything. I'll tell him you showed up here or something. Dad doesn't ask a whole lot of questions when I tell him something."

"Okay, but if I wake up in handcuffs I'm blaming you."

"Deal," She laughed as she led me upstairs. She gave me an old pair of Charlie's PJ pants and some toothpaste to use. She showed me the small guest room and left me alone. I looked around once she was gone and smiled at the old posters and games in the room. I assumed this used to be her play room before it got turned into a bedroom.

* * *

I woke up the next morning with a Post-it on the clock. I scratched my eyes before grabbing it and smiled when I saw it was from Bella.

_Unfortunately, some of us still have to go to school...despite the major hangover. Your dad called to ask if I'd babysit so I'll see you later today._

_-Bella_

I smiled knowing I'd get to see her again so soon. I got up and changed back into my jeans before slipping out the front door. When I got home, Dad was asleep in the nursery again and I shook my head in sadness. He hadn't been near their bedroom since it happened and I couldn't imagine sleeping in that rocking chair every night.

I checked on Rosalie and smiled down at her. She was so peaceful. So innocent. She had no clue what was going on and I envied her...and she was a fucking two month old. I went into my room and got a few extra hours of sleep before showering and getting ready for the day.

Dad was sitting in the living room with the baby in his arms, watching some rerun of an old TV show. _Family Matters_ maybe. He was getting worse by the day. He still hadn't shaven and he was still in his PJs and from the look of the kitchen, he hadn't eaten anything again.

"Dad?" I asked as I stood in front of the screen, blocking his view. "What's up?"

"Nothing." He shrugged. "Steve's causing a scene again."

"I don't mean on Family Matters, Dad." I sighed turning around and shutting off the TV. "What's up with you?"

"Oh, I got up, got this once changed, dressed, and fed and now we're watching TV together to spend some quality time together." He sighed. "And this afternoon I have to go see an old patient because this appointment has been scheduled for months and I can't let her down."

"Okay?"

"So, Bella is going to come over for an hour while I go do that and then I'm going to change back into my PJ's and hold Rosalie and watch more TV. Maybe The Brady Bunch will be on by that time."

"Dad," I sighed. He wasn't one to turn his whole life upside down. He was a man who was already dressed in his work clothes by the time I came down before school in the morning. He told me sweatpants and PJ's were unprofessional and he refused to wear them as much as he could.

"I'm not ready to start healing, Edward." He snapped. "I just wanna be a bum and hold my daughter for right now."

"Okay," I whispered. He needed his space and I was going to give it to him. I knew he'd eventually come back as his old self. I just hoped it was sooner rather than later. "Okay,"

I decided to help him out since he clearly wasn't going to be functional anytime soon. I changed into an old pair of jeans and went outside to rake the yard. He made pretty good money, but he never wanted to be a man who hired people to do what he could easily do himself so by the time I was finished with our big yard, I was sweating. I went and showered before grabbing his wallet and going to the grocery store.

Part of the reason he wasn't eating was because there was no food in the house since Esme had always done that for him. I grabbed the essentials. Milk, bread, cheese, diapers. I knew he wasn't going to be eating much so it didn't make sense to but an entire trunk full of groceries. When I got home, he'd put Rosalie in her crib and he was sitting alone outside on the balcony.

"Dad, I went grocery shopping in case you get hungry." I told him when I sat down in the chair next to him. He looked at me with the same blank expression he'd on for days and nodded before looking back out at the small river behind our house. I looked out and it was actually really pretty. The leaves were turning colors and the river seemed to be bluer than normal.

"Dad, I know this is hard for you," I sighed. "But, I'm getting worried."

"Edward," He sighed and I could hear the annoyance in his voice. "You don't understand this. You never will unless you have a wife."

"She wasn't my wife, but I loved her more than anyone." I whispered and he turned to look at me. When I looked up, he looked regretful of what he'd said and his eyes were beginning to fill with tears. And honestly, I was glad I got him to cry. He'd been cut off from all emotion since the funeral, this was good for him. "She was the only mom I'd ever known."

"I know," He whispered looking down at the floor. "I just...I don't know how to go on without her."

"If I stayed," I started after a long pause. I didn't want to live in Forks again, but I couldn't fathom leaving him like this. He was taking care of Rosalie, but someone needed to take care of him. And, I was the only person her had. "Would that make it a little but easier for you?"

"You don't have to stay."

"Yes, I do." I told him. "If I leave you here alone, I won't forgive myself."

"I'm not going to kill myself." He said, trying to laugh. "You can go back to Chicago."

"I don't want to." I told him somewhat honestly. "I can't leave you like this. You're a mess and you need me. And, honestly, I need you."

The conversation stopped there. He looked back out to the river and I went inside and made us sandwiches. He picked at his before throwing it away and went upstairs to shower and change for his appointment. As he was coming back downstairs, the doorbell rang and I raced to answer it. I swung it open and just smiled at her. she was only in a _Forks High_ t-shirt and jeans, but she honestly looked beautiful.

"Hi," I smiled as she walked inside.

"Hey," She giggled as we walked into the living room. She put her things down on the couch and turned to me. I just inched myself towards her until I could smell her perfume. She looked up at me with a looked I'd never seen before as I reached for her hand. I could hear her breathing get heavier as I laced my fingers through hers. I had no idea what I was doing and didn't know why.

All I knew was that I wanted to be close to her.

"Hi," I whispered as I pressed my forehead to hers.

"Hey," She whispered, lifting her head and looking into my eyes with those beautiful brown eyes.

"Well, I shouldn't be too long." Dad said as he came into the living room. We jumped apart and I went into the kitchen, trying to compose myself.

"_What the fuck_?" I whispered to myself.


	7. No Need to Hide

**Chapter Seven: No Need to Hide**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"Well, I shouldn't be too long." Dr. Cullen said as he walked into the living room, seconds before kissing Edward. We jumped apart so fast you would have thought there was a fire or something. He ran into the kitchen and left me with my head spinning. "You have all the numbers?" He asked, completely oblivious to what was going on.

"Uh, yeah." I stuttered, trying to calm down. "I'll call if I need anything.

"Okay, see you in about an hour or so." He whispered as he walked to the front door and slammed it shut. I jumped at the loud noise and my heart broke for him. He didn't seem like a person who usually slammed doors. After checking on Rosalie, I went back downstairs to the kitchen so I could try and work on my homework.

When I walked into the kitchen, Edward was looking out the kitchen window towards the river that ran behind their house. He turned to me and gave me a small, almost sad smile.

"Sorry about that," He whispered. "I got a little carried away."

"No, it was my fault." I laughed nervously. I didn't know what was happening. When I wanted to kiss a boy, I didn't beat around the bush. I just did it and I never hesitated. I wasn't afraid of kissing anyone. Up until five minutes ago anyway. Something about Edward turned me into this dumb teenager who couldn't breathe or think around a guy.

I wasn't sure if I liked it or not.

"Let's just...forget about it then." He said and I nodded before sitting down at the island. "What are you working on?"

"Calc." I sighed. "I have a big test next week."

"If you need help, math was my best subject." He smiled as he opened the fridge. He pulled out a beer and offered me one, but I declined. I actually had work to do and couldn't risk getting drunk with him again. Plus, school with a hangover is the worst thing ever.

"Where did you go to school?" I asked after I couldn't study anymore. Dr. Cullen had been gone for more than an hour and I was getting kind of worried. But, I had a feeling he'd call if anything was wrong and I wasn't going to question extra time with Edward.

"University of Chicago." He told me and I couldn't help but stare. That was not an easy school to get into. "But, I dropped out after sophomore year."

"Why'd you drop out?" I asked, completely stunned. I thought he was just taking a break or something. I didn't think he actually quit. "You seem so smart."

"I am," He nodded. "College just wasn't for me." She shrugged. "I could have gone to med school and become a great doctor like my dad, but I'm happy with my life."

"But..._why_?"

"If you haven't noticed, I'm not a follow the rules kind of guy." He shrugged. "It just wasn't me. I'm a lot happier with working at the bar and playing in my band."

"And your dad's okay with that?"

"He wasn't happy, but he was always telling Esme that I'd 'realize I was making a huge mistake and I'd go back eventually." He laughed. "I'm not going back."

"It just seems like such a waste." I sighed. "You don't regret it at all?"

"Sometimes when all I have to eat is Cherios's I regret not having my meal plan." He chuckled. "But, no. I don't regret it. I liked school and the people were great, but I'm a lot better off than when I was there."

"Wow, I don't think I'd be brave enough to do that." I smiled at him. We locked eyes for a second and I got those same butterflies in my stomach that I had when his hands were holding mine. I saw his hand inching towards mine and he was just about to grab it before my phone rang. "Hey, dad."

"Are you still at the Cullen's?" He asked and he sounded way too tense.

"Yeah?" I asked. "Why?"

"I had to arrest Carlisle." He whispered and I jumped out of my seat in shock. "He was walking around Forks drunk and he was trying to get into his car. His blood alcohol level was almost a .18."

"Holy shit!" I yelled. Even I'd never been that drunk before.

"I had to arrest him or he would have driven home like this. Just get Edward to come down to the station please." He begged. I knew dad wouldn't have arrested him if he didn't think it was actually needed. I hung up the phone and just stared down at my fee for a few seconds before turning to him.

"Your dad was arrested." I whispered and he looked at me like I had three heads. "I'm not kidding, Edward."

"My dad's never done anything remotely illegal."

"My dad caught him trying to get into his car to drive home with his BAC at a .18."

"He doesn't drink like that." He argued. "The most he's ever had was two beers...that I know of."

"Edward, I'm not kidding!" I told him and he looked like he grasped what I was telling him.

"Damnit!" He yelled as he ran upstairs. He came back down with his keys and shoes on and reminded me to watch Rosalie while he was gone. He returned a half hour later with a very drunk Dr. Cullen. He was so impaired it took both of us ten minutes to get him up the stairs. We threw him into his bed and shut the door after he passed out.

"I'll stay tonight if you want me to." I told him after I'd checked on Rosalie who was still sound asleep. "I can run home to get my school things."

"You don't have to."

"Have you ever taken care of her?" I asked with a smile. He blushed a little bit before shaking his head no. "I want to stay and help. She's asleep and she souldn' be waking up for a while. I'll be back."

"Bella?" He asked as I was grabbing my car keys. "Thanks."

"No problem."

* * *

"I can't even imagine what he's feeling." Alice sighed sadly after telling her and Jake what happened last night. We were studying for the Calc test together, and it actually wasn't a great idea. We never got anything done when we were together. "I mean, I can't believe he didn't have alcohol poisoning."

"I know, Edward took him to the hospital after I got back from getting my things." I sighed. It had been a long night. Rosalie wasn't calming down and Dr. Cullen was drunk off his ass. It was like Edward and I were parents or something. "I just never imagined he'd go this far."

"People handle difficult things differently." Jake shrugged. "It's normal to do these kinds of things."

"Dr. Cullen is so resposible though." I told them. "I mean, he's a doctor. He knows how much is too much."

"Yeah, but he's not Dr. Cullen right now. He's a man who just lost his wife." Jake said. "He isn't going to be himself for a while."

"I guess," I said as I looked back at my Calc book. Jake got up and went to order us some milkshakes from the ice cream place across the street from the library and I couldn't hide the almost kiss from Alice anymore. I slammed my book shut and scooted closer to her. She looked up at me confused before I shut her book too.

"I almost kissed Edward last night." I told her and I had to hold my hand over her mouth so she wouldn't scream. "It was really fucking intense."

"Intense?" She asked. "What do you mean?"

"Like it was something you'd see in a movie but it would actually happen in real life." I explained. "Like he took my hand in his and pressed his forehead to mind before moving into kiss me." I told her. "Like, it wasn't like he grabbed my neck and forced himself on me."

"Whoa," She laughed. "That is intense."

"Yeah, but I don't know what this means?" I said. "I mean...what the hell?"

"You have Mike." She reminded me. "And Edward doesn't seem like the kind of guy that does that often."

"No,"

"So, don't sweat over it." She shrugged like it was nothing. "Just go on with your life and if something happens, awesome. If not, it's okay."

"You make it sound so easy."

"Make what sound so easy?" Jake asked as he put the drunk carrier down on the table. Alice and I played it off well before going back to our study session. By the time we were packing up our things, we'd barely gotten anything done and I didn't know anything new. But, I felt a lot better after talking to Alice. She was right. This was just a fluke thing and we wouldn't have having these intensely romantic moments every time we saw each other.

When I got home, I found a note saying Dad was picking up another night shift with money for pizza under it. I changed into comfy clothes and sat down to really get some studying done. I loved Alice and Jake, but it was impossible to get anything done with them. I studied for about an hour before my stomach began growling again and I went to drab my phone.

But, just as I was about to dial, my phone began ringing. I saw Edward's caller ID pop up and answered it, afraid of the outcome.

"Edward?" I asked as Rosalie screeched in the back round.

"Bella, Rosalie's crying and I don't know what to do." He cried as she continued to cry. "And, my dad won't get out of bed."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "What have you been doing all week?"

"He wasn't very functional but he was taking care of her." He explained. "That's the only thing he would do but now he's totally shut down and I don't know what to do."

"I'll be over in a few minutes." I sighed as I hung up. I packed my bag up again, just in case I was there longer than expected, and grabbed my keys and jumped into my truck. I let myself in with the emergency key that was in the potted plant next to the door and when I got inside, my head spun. There was baby stuff everywhere and Rosalie's cries were earth shattering. I ran into the living room where Edward was bouncing her and he looked completely out of his element.

"What have you been doing all day?" I asked as I walked over and took her from him.

"_THIS_!" He yelled overtop of her. "I've been trying but she won't stop!"

"Did you feed her?" I asked. Rosalie wasn't a baby who cried unless she really needed something. "Edward?"

"_Yes_, I fed her!" He cried. "I fed, burped and changed her. She was pretty calm up until twenty minutes ago." I heated up another bottle and tried giving it to her, but she refused to take it and cried louder. "I tried that and that's the exact thing she did."

"I think I know the problem." I sighed as I tried to rock her just to calm her a smige. It worked and I walked upstairs to outside of Carlisle's room. "Can you open this?"

"He's locked himself in."

"I can see that." I said in annoyance. "Can you break the lock or something?"

"I can try." He shrugged before going back downstairs. While I waited, I walked into the nursery and tried rocking her, but nothing was working. Edward finally got the door open and I slowly walked in. I looked at Dr. Cullen lying helplessly in his bed, clutching a pillow I assumed to be Esme's with their wedding picture two inches in front of his face on the nightstand.

"Dad?" Edward asked. Dr. Cullen looked up with red, puffy eyes and turned his back towards us. "Dad, please."

"GO!" He yelled, scaring Rosalie.

"Dr. Cullen?" I asked and I guess he had only seen Edward because he stiffened when I said his name. "Rosalie needs you. She won't stop crying and I think you're the only one who can calm her down."

"You're good with her." He mumbled. "You'll figure it out."

"You haven't left her side since the funeral." I said. "She only knows you and right now, she's afraid you're gone or something."

"She didn't screech when Esme didn't come home."

"Edward says she hasn't left your arms since though." I whispered. "Please, she needs you."

After a few seconds, he asked Edward for help sitting up and he reached out his arms for her. I gently placed her in his arms and she immediately calmed down. I handed him her bottle and he held it to her mouth, and she actually took it. After a few seconds, he told us to leave and we obeyed his wishes. I shut the door behind us and Edward let out a loud breath of relief.

"Wow, that kid has a good set of lungs." He laughed as we walked back downstairs.

"She sure does." I laughed as I grabbed my backpack. "Well, I should be going."

"If you need help with studying or something...I'd be happy to help." He offered as I was opening the front door. "I may be a college drop out, but I'm a damn smart one."

"Really?" I asked since I didn't think he wanted anything to do with school.

"You came to my rescue, it's only fair if I return the favor." He laughed as he grabbed my bag from me.

Two hours later, I was feeling much better about the exam coming up. I wasn't near ready, but I figured with some more serious study time, I'd be okay. I started gathering up my things as Edward stood at the counter, making himself a sandwich.

"Is that all you've been eating?" I laughed as he spread some mustard on the bread. He gave me a crooked grin and nodded as he opened the bag of turkey. I sighed and went to look in his pantry. It was pretty empty but I found some pene and an unopened jar of sauce. I went back into the kitchen and pushed him out of the way. "I'm going to properly feed you tonight."

"You don't have to do that." He told me as I found a pot and filled it with water. "Trust me, I've lived off a lot less than sandwiches."

"Which it fine," I laughed. "But, tonight I'm here and tonight you'll eat real food." I told him. "And, there isn't anything you can do about it."

I cooked the pasta and warmed the sauce while he put a simple salad together. I checked on Dr. Cullen and they were both asleep in his room. She was safely in her bassinet as he snored away in the bed. I was glad they were both okay for the time being. I went downstairs as Edward was pulling the garlic bread out of the over. I dished us out some pasta and salad and went over to the small kitchen table.

"I'm not going back to Chicago." He whispered after we sat in silence for a while. Other than Dad, Alice and Jake, I didn't have too many people I could sit in a comfortable silence with. But, it was different with him. He didn't make it awkward. "Not for a while anyway."

"What made your mind up?" I asked. I could tell how much he wanted to leave, but at the same time, how much he actually wanted to stay.

"I can't leave my dad like this." He sighed. "Especially after today."

"Makes sense." I nodded. "What are you going to do while you're here?"

"No fucking clue." He sighed, shaking his head. "I mean, I left this town without looking back. I didn't even know what to do for a part time job as a high school kid. Now, I'm twenty-one, not in school, in a small as fuck town. I have no clue what I'm going to do until he gets back on his feet." He told me. "And even when he does get back up, I don't think I'll be able to leave him yet."

"You'll figure something out."

"Plus, my friends...the band...they're all back home." He whispered. "Jasper and I have never really been apart before and I don't think he's going to pick up and leave everything he has going in Chicago."

"You never know."

"I do know though. I know Jasper and he was even more ready to leave this place than me." He told me as he pushed his food around on his plate. "I just...I don't think I can do this."

"Hey," I whispered, reaching over and grabbing his free hand. "I'll be here every step of the way if you need. I'm just a phone call away." I assured him. "PLus, you're a pretty good teacher, I could use you to my full advantage."

"Point taken." He chuckled. "Why are you being so good to me? To my family?"

"My mom left six years ago." I shrugged. "I haven't really talked to her since and she hasn't bothered to try talking to me. I think she's ashamed of what she did and knows I'll just hang up." I explained. "I didn't know Esme very well until I started babysitting Rosalie, but I knew who she was and I was really happy when Dad told me she had the baby.

"Anyway, I grew really close to her and your dad while I watched Rosalie. I gave them time to themselves while they just watched TV and babysat when they both had to be at work. Esme didn't work much, but it was at least once a week that she made an appearance at the office." I told him. "And, I just grew to love her. And, being here for your dad, Rosalie and you is the least I can do." I said.

"You meant a lot to her." He choked and I could see a tear streaming down his cheek. "She was always telling me how good you were with Rosalie and how 'absolutely adorable' you were." He laughed. "And, you still mean a lot to my dad."

"They mean a lot to me, too." I smiled, reaching up and brushing the tear off his cheek.


	8. Just Can't Forget

**Chapter Eight: Just Can't Forget**

* * *

**Edward's POV**

"What are you doing here?" I asked when I opened the front door and saw Jasper standing there with a suitcase in his hands.

"You're staying." He shrugged. "Chicago isn't the same without you there."

"What about your job?" I asked as he walked inside, throwing his suitcase down on the living room. He turned to me and started laughed as he came over and clapped me on the back.

"Fuck the bar, bro." He laughed. "You're more important than anything."

"The band?" I asked. "I told you to take care of things."

"And I did." He told me. "The rest of them are flying in next week."

"They can't all stay here, Jasper."

"I know," He sighed, rolling his eyes at me. "I still have my parents house. We're going to fix it up a little bit and we're going to stay there. I just need to crash here until it's done."

"Where will they stay til it's done?"

"There." He said. "It'd be weird if they stayed here since they've never met your dad."

"Very true."

"So, how is everything?" He asked as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. Jasper had never been one to deal with stressful situations so I was even more surprised he was here. He told me he couldn't get off work, but I knew he just couldn't handle what was happening.

He was the same way after the accident.

"Awful." I whispered. It had been two weeks since she died and one since the funeral. Dad was still locked up in his room with Rosalie. He came out to get her bathed and changed but once she was taken care of, he went right back into his room. I felt like it was my fault he was locked up. I put him there after getting him home from the hospital.

He hadn't been in there yet.

"Dad barely comes out of their room." I told him. "He takes care of Rosalie, but other than that, he's a robot. He shows no emotion. He just stares."

"He's coping."

"It's starting to scare me." I admitted. My dad was so strong and I knew this was hard on him, but he was really starting to worry me.

"Jasper?" I heard him ask and I turned around to see him in the same PJ's he'd been wearing for days and Rosalie in his arms. "When did you get here?"

"A few minutes ago." He said as he walked over to him. "I hope this okay."

"It's fine," He nodded before going into the kitchen to get Rosalie a bottle. Jasper looked at me and I shrugged. We waited for him to go back upstairs before grabbing two beers and a bag of chips and sitting down at the kitchen island.

"He _is_ scary." He sighed as he opened his beer. "I've never seen anyone like that before."

"Me either,"

"Is he getting help?"

"He hasn't seen anyone that I know." I told him. "And he hasn't been out of the house."

"Maybe you should make him see someone."

"Forcing him won't do anything." I shook my head. "He'll sit there, staring at the person and leave after an hour."

Jasper and I took the time to catch up. I was really fucking glad he was here because I wasn't sure how long I could have gone on without him. He was the only thing that made Forks bearable when we were in high school so having him here made this whole thing a little bit easier.

After talking for a bit, the doorbell rang and I excused myself to answer the door.

"Hi," I smiled at Bella as she stood there smirking at me.

"Hey," She squealed as she wrapped her arms around my neck. I picked her up off the ground slightly before she let go, holding up a piece of paper. "I got a B on my calc exam!"

"Damn, girl." I smiled as I grabbed the test from her hands. "Good job, Bells."

"This is thanks to you," She whispered as I looked up from the paper, and into her beautiful eyes. "You really saved me."

"Glad I-I could help." I stuttered. She was getting harder to be around. Whenever she was close to me, I felt like an idiot thirteen year old again. But, no matter what I did, I couldn't stay away from her.

"Edward, where do you keep the extra beer?" Jasper asked as he came up behind me. I jumped and broke our gaze, turning to him.

"In the pantry." I sighed, annoyed he'd interrupted our moment. He looked over towards Bella and raised his eyebrow at me before giving me that annoying smirk of his. He turned and walked away, humming _Here Comes the Bride_.

"Sorry, I didn't know you had company." She whispered as she turned to leave. I reached out and grabbed her wrist before she could leave.

"I don't, it's just Jasper." I smiled. "You can stay if you'd like."

"Sure," She nodded as a blush crept up on her cheeks.

The three of us spent the rest of the night, drinking beers, and talking. We told her about Chicago and she filled us in the best Forks gossip had to offer. Apparently a skank, Lauren, in her grade had two abortions so far and her mother was screwing one of the volunteer firefighters.

It was quite the scandal apparently.

Jasper even had the nerve to tell Bella the milk incident from a year ago when we were still in school. Chocolate milk came out of my nose while I was drunk off my ass at a party. Who cared? Bella giggled and looked over at me as he told the story, but she never seemed to make fun of me for it.

"Well, some of us have school tomorrow." She laughed as she got out of her seat. She stumbled a bit, even though she'd only had two beers. "Whoa,"

"Did you drive here?" I asked.

"No, Dad dropped me off on the way to work." She told me as we went into the other room and grabbed her bag.

"I can ride you home." I smiled as I took her bag from her. She smiled at me as I went to grab the keys and tell Jasper I'd be back. We sat in a comfortable silence, and I couldn't help but look over at her as we sat at a red light.

Even with her hair in a ponytail, her glasses on, and in just a sweatshirt and jeans, she was beautiful. I'd literally never met anyone prettier, and the girlfriend from junior year was pretty damn gorgeous.

But, Bella was different.

"Thanks for the ride," She giggled as we stood in front of her door. I don't know what was coming over me, but I had this need to be a gentleman for her, even though I wasn't a gentleman in my entire life.

"You're welcome."

"And for helping me study." She smiled. "I really couldn't have done that without you."

"I think you underestimate yourself," I whispered as I pushed a stray hair behind her ear. She blushed as we locked eyes. I reached for her hand again, but the sudden honk of a car horn made me step away from her.

"Mike," She sighed in annoyance. "I forgot I asked him to come over tonight."

"You want me to get rid of him?" I asked, trying to sound like I was kidding, but in all reality, I was fucking serious. There was something about this kid that I just did not like.

"No, I've blown him off enough this last week so I could study in peace." She laughed as Mike got out of the car and began walking up the path. I gave Bella a smile before saying goodnight and walked down to my car. I saw him literally attack her and shook my head in disgust.

How she put up with him I had no fucking clue.

I drove back home and Jasper had been kind enough to clean up the kitchen. He was wiping the counter down when I walked in and he stared at me until I said something to him.

"What?" I asked.

"So, Bella, huh?" He asked.

"What about her?"

"I heard she's great in bed." He said, winking at me.

"Maybe," I shrugged. I didn't like that she was talked about like that. "I wouldn't know,"

"Wait, what?"

"We haven't had sex, Jasper." I told him. "We're friends."

"Friends?" He asked. "You look like you're in a committed relationship." He sighed. "And like you've banged. A lot."

"Well, we haven't." I told him. "And we aren't going to. She has a boyfriend."

"When has that ever stopped you?"

"Jasper!" I cried. "Let it go."

"Wait a second!" He called as I tried walking away. "Do you...do you like have feelings for this girl?"

"Excuse me?"

"You're being awful protective of her, you're giving tutoring sessions, and you looked like you were about to kiss her when I walked in on you two earlier tonight." He explained. "Do you have feelings for her?"

"Oh please!" I laughed. "I don't get romantic about anyone!"

"Yeah, until now." He said under his breath. "I get it, Edward. I know you better than anyone and I get it."

"Get what?"

"Your fear of commitment." He shrugged. "Your mom left your dad and now you're afraid of that happening."

"Thanks, Dr. Jasper." I sighed, just wanting him to drop it. "And no, I am not afraid of commitment. I just think sex with a lot of girls is fun."

"Oh yeah?" He asked, crossing his arms. "When was the last time you had sex with someone?" He asked, and it hadn't been since the redhead the night I found out Esme had been in the accident.

"I've been a little preoccupied, Jasper."

"So, if we went to a bar, you'd pick up a girl?"

"Yes," I nodded even though I was lying through my teeth. "But, I couldn't really do anything with her with my father and baby sister in the next room. PLus, all the girls here are little high school brats."

"Not the ones in the bar."

"Or they're all townies." I shrugged. "I'm going to bed and you can pounder my lonely life and my _feelings for Bella_ alone." I laughed. "Goodnight, Jasper."

"This isn't something I've just made up to piss you off!" He called as I went upstairs.

* * *

A few weeks passed and soon, it was nearly Christmas. Dad had gathered enough strength to get out of the house and shop for Rosalie's first Christmas. It was the first time he'd been out since the funeral and I was really proud of him. He clung to my side as we shopped around and people stared at him like he was an alien, but I didn't care.

He had taken a giant step. I only hoped this wasn't one of those '_one step forward, two steps back_' kind of things. I wanted this to be the beginning of the healing process. He had been good though. He got out of bed, he showered and changed into clothes and was eating more.

He was doing awesome.

Having Jasper and the rest of my friends in Forks helped a lot though. I wasn't confined to the house and I didn't go stir crazy. I helped them fix up the house and it actually didn't look half bad. After my dad started feeding himself again, I was able to stay with them there.

Things were slowly coming together.

Even my relationship with Bella was growing. Jasper let it go, even though I was sure he didn't buy what I told him, and the two of us could just be together. She was over my place at least twice a week to watch Rosalie and give my dad a break. It was so easy to be around her. She was one of the smartest people in her class and I had no doubt about her getting in UCLA with a scholarship.

Our tutoring sessions also helped. She was good at math, but Calc was not easy and she struggled as she tried to learn the new material while maintaining the old material. And, with AP tests getting closer, she was stressing out more than usual. But, she always came back to my house after a test, holding up a B.

Oddly enough, I'd never been more proud of anyone.

"Hi," I smiled when I opened the door the Saturday before Christmas.

"Hey," She giggled as I let her inside. I took her scarf and coat and put them in the closet before going back to where she was standing. "Your dad told me he had some last minute shopping."

"I feel bad," I admitted. It was a Saturday night. She should have been with that awful boyfriend of hers. "It's the weekend and your stuck babysitting."

"I don't mind as long as you're here." She whispered as went up and stood behind her. Just as she was about to turn around, Dad came into the room with Rosalie in his arms. Bella's attitude changed completely as she went to take her out of his arms.

"I won't be long," He told me as he put his coat on. "_No funny business_, Edward." He whispered as he pulled his gloves on. I had a tendency to get Bella drunk with me and it really wasn't a good idea. But, she was just so fun, it was hard to control my impulses.

"Fine," I smiled and he put his arm to the side of my head and pushed me away. I laughed as he grabbed his keys and left the house. When I got back to the living room, Rosalie was in the bassinet, cooing away, while Bella sat on the couch with a magazine in her hand.

"Watcha reading?" I asked, sitting down next to her. She held up the magazine and I saw Better Home and Garden written across the top. "Why are you reading that?"

"Because, I'm looking for a cookie dough recipe they said would be in here." She told me, completely disinterested in me. "I saw it used on The View or something and I needed a new recipe." She told me as she turned the page. "Got it!"

"Yeah?" I asked, laughing at how the simplest thing could make her happy.

"Come on!" She screeched as she shot up, grabbing me and pulling me into the kitchen with her. She checked to make sure we had everything and then started gathering everything needed on the kitchen island.

We spent the rest of the night, making the dough and cutting out shapes and decorating them. She was a lot better than me. She was patient and detailed while I was fast and completely out of control. By the time we finished, you could clearly see which ones she made and the ones that were mine.

At eight o'clock, just as we were finishing cleaning the last tray, we heard a loud car horn beeping outside. We ignored it, thinking it was just a neighbor, but when it wouldn't quit, we grabbed out coats and went outside.

There in the driveway sat a silver Volvo with my dad in the drivers seat. He smiled at me before beeping the horn one last time and getting out. I stared in disbelief as Bella pushed me towards the new car.

"Dad?" I asked as I touched the hood of the car. "What is this?"

"Your new car." He smiled at me. "Merry Christmas, Edward."

"Dad, this is too much."

"I didn't think you needed a car at sixteen," He sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. "But, as a twenty-one year old, I think it's time you have your own car." He told me. "And, when I go back to work, you're going to need a way to get around."

"You're serious?" I laughed. "This is _my_ car?"

"This is _your_ car." He assured me and I broke out into the dopiest grin you'd ever seen. He handed me the keys and I just looked at them. My father had gotten me a car for Christmas. And, a fucking nice car at that. I turned to Bella who was just grinning at me.

"You wanna take a test run with me?" I asked and she nodded. I followed her over to the passenger side and opened her door for her like my dad taught me when I turned fifteen. I didn't retain much of his Gentleman Lesson's, but this one stuck. Even with my bar bimbo's, I always opened their door for them. Once the door had been shut, I ran over to the drivers side and got in.

"Ready?" I asked as I put the car into reverse.

"Fuck, yeah!" She laughed as I pressed my foot to the gas. She fiddled with the radio until she found a station we both liked and we just drove around town. Forks was really pretty around christmas. It followed the small town rules for the holidays. There were lights hanging everywhere, a wreath on every lamp post, and a tree in the town square.

"I hate this place, but it is beautiful during Christmas." Bella sighed as she looked out the window as we passed the tree.

"Yeah, it is." I smiled, looking over at her.

I realized as we drove in the car together, that I was falling for her. I'd never felt this way before, but I knew in that moment that I didn't want to be her friend forever.

I wanted something more.


	9. Roaming Around

**Chapter Nine: Roaming Around**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"So, what time should I pick you two up?" Jake asked the morning of New Years Eve. There was a huge party at the old abandoned warehouse. The entire senior class and most of the juniors were going to be there and it had to be the biggest New Years Eve party since Edward graduated.

"Nine?" I asked. As Alice turned over on her back and looked up at me on the phone.

"Sounds good," Jake sighed before hanging up. I clicked the END button and threw my phone to the foot of the bed.

"Jake's gonna drive tonight." I whispered. My truck hadn't been doing too well lately. I feared it was on its last legs.

"Kay," She yawned, rolling back over and going back to sleep, even though it was already noon. But, I couldn't seem to fall back asleep so I slipped out of bed, pulled my robe on, and went downstairs. I grabbed a Poptart and settled onto the couch with a blanket and turned on the TV.

I watched TV for another hour before Alice finally woke up and walked downstairs. She went into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee and grabbed her own Poptart. We watched the rest of _Full House_ before going into the kitchen to pour ourself the coffee. While she showered, I called Mike and we talked for a a while until she was finished. I took my turn in the shower before getting ready.

Jake was pulling into the driveway just as Alice was clasping her necklace in place. I grabbed my shoes and we headed downstairs. Jake held our doors open for us like the gentleman he was before we drove over to Leah's house. They sucked face for a little bit before getting back on the road.

The party was in full swing by the time we got there. There were people already puking in the bushes and the place was already a mess. We headed towards the drive station and Jake grabbed himself a beer while the three of us grabbed glasses and poured ourselves some shots. We toasted to the New Year, drank, and Jake took Leah's arm and headed to one of the old offices to do God knows what.

Alice and I danced together before Mike showed up and took me away from her. I smiled back at her when she had two guys dancing with her after I'd only been gone for a few seconds. Mike held me close to him all night, and it was almost turning me on. He kept nibbling on my ear and sucking my neck. I just hoped he wouldn't give me a hickey.

By the time there was only five minutes until midnight, I was exhausted. Mike was a much better dancer than he had been at prom and the music they played was worth dancing to. Mike and I went over and grabbed two beers as they started counting down.

"Five! Four! Three!" The chanted as they watched the clock spin around. "Two! ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Everyone shouted. Those who had dates leaned over and kissed and those who didn't stood there with their hands in their pockets. Mike gently turned towards me and smiled.

"Happy New Year, babe." He whispered, giving me a sloppy, drunk kiss. He lowered his free hand and cupped my ass, making me squirm. I didn't want all this public affection here.

"Not here, Mike." I whispered, pushing him away.

"Fine," He smiled. "Come with me." He demanded, grabbing my hand and forcefully pulling me away from the party, down a hallway and into another office. He slammed and locked the door before dropping his cup to the ground and racing towards me. He pushed me down onto the desk before I had a chance to say anything.

"Mike, no." I cried as he kissed down my neck and harshly grabbed my breast. "Mike, stop. You're drunk."

"Come on, baby." He sighed as he went to pull my dress down.

"Mike! Stop!" I cried as he unbuckled his belt. "Mike!" I cried as I lifted my foot and pressed it against his stomach. I pushed him away into the wall, punched him in the balls and stood up to pull my dress up. I ran out of the room before he had a chance to regain composure and went to look for Jake.

"Bells?" He asked, concerened after seeing tears streaming down my face.

"Take me home," I whimpered as he pulled me outside near the old loading docks. "Please, take me home."

"Bella, I'm fucking drunk off my ass." He slurred. "I'm sorry, I can't. What happened?"

"I don't wanna talk about it, I just wanna go home." I cried as he pulled me into his arms. After a few minutes, I pushed him away and walked around the corner before pulling my phone out of my jacket pocket.

"Bella?" He asked, his voice alarmed. "What's wrong?"

"Are...are you drunk?" I cried, trying not to lose my shit again.

"No, I was named Designated Driver tonight. On fucking New YEars Eve of all nights." He laughed. "Why?"

"I need you." I said, as another tear streamed down his face.

"I'm on my way," He told me without hesitation. "Where are you?"

"The old warehouse on the edge of town." I told him. "Please hurry."

"I'll be there as soon as I can." He assured me before hanging up. I went inside to grab my coat, being sure to keep away from Mike and found Jake and Alice to tell them I was leaving. They both questioned me and offered me help, but I just didn't want to talk about it. Edward was pulling down the driveway just as I went back outside. He got out and opened the car door for me like he always did before getting back in and driving away.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" He asked as we sat on the side of the road after we'd gotten away from the warehouse. I looked over at him and just burst into tears. He reached out and hugged me to his body and rubbed my back soothingly, letting me cry. I probably looked and sounded like an idiot, but I didn't care. I just needed him.

"Mike...Mike was drunk," I started after my sobs had died down. "And...he pulled me into one of the offices and...h-he started touching me and he ripped my dress off even though I told him no." I sobbed. "I know, it's dumb. He is my boyfriend but..."

"I'm going to kill that mother fucker!" Edward yelled in rage, making me jump. I looked up and his face was red and he was shaking. "Fucking little fucker!"

"Edward, no it's okay!"

"It most certainly is NOT okay, Bella!" He screamed. "That's sexual assault."

"He is my boyfriend."

"Doesn't matter. You told him to stop." He seethed as he turned the keys, turning the car back on. I could tell he really was going to kill, Mike and I didn't want him getting in trouble for beating the shit out of him.

"Edward, please don't!" I cried. "I don't want you getting arrested."

"He assaulted you, Bella. He deserves to be killed."

"Edward, please." I cried and he looked over at me and his whole expression changed completely. His shoulders relaxed, and his eyes saddened. "Please. I just need you to be here."

"I'm not going anywhere." He whispered as he hugged me to him again. "Shhh, I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

* * *

Edward refused to leave my side for the next three days of break. He insisted I come over and get tutoring, but I knew he was just trying to make sure Mike wouldn't get close to me. No one other than Charlie had been that protective before. And, I loved it. I loved that he wanted to keep my safe and even though I asked him not to, I loved that he wanted to beat Mike up.

I couldn't help but wonder if he was being protective because what Mike did was over the line or because he felt something more. He obviously cared about me, but...did he feel _that_ way? I knew I felt that way, and I'd known it for a while. But, he was gone the second Dr. Cullen was back to himself and I refused to be in a relationship that would end soon anyway.

But, was it worth it even if it was short lived? I had no idea. I'd never felt this way before, not even with Mike.

Mike. I had no fucking clue what to do. He'd been drunk and he'd crossed a line, but was it worth dumping him for? I knew Edward didn't want me seeing him again, but Edward was not the boss of me. Mike hadn't raped me or anything, he just got a little handsy. Was it worth it? He was always so good to me, even though he sucked in bed. He truly cared about me.

Did he really though?

I mean, he said he did and he was also protective of me. Sorta. It was more of an obsession, clingy thing, but I guess he protected me. I had no idea what to do anymore.

But, what he did was unforgivable and I honestly didn't want to forgive him. He didn't deserve a second chance. Whether he was drunk or not, he should have stopped when I asked him to. He'd been drunk with me before and he'd never done that, so I came to the conclusion he wasn't going to stop whether he was sober or not. He just wanted my vagina at that point and I wasn't willing to stick around.

"Are you sure you don't want me to beat him up so he won't be in school tomorrow?" Edward asked over the phone as I pulled down the covers. I smiled at him asking again...he hadn't stopped since he picked me up.

"I'm sure," He sighed. "I just don't think it was that big of a deal."

"If only you could have heard what your voice sounded like when you called," He whispered. "I thought the worst, Bella."

"Edward,"

"I really thought you were in a ditch somewhere, Bella." He choked. "I've only been that scared once before, and..." He cut off and I could hear him taking deep breaths, trying to calm yourself. "Anyway, it was a big deal, Bella. To me, it was the biggest deal ever."

"I'm okay, Edward," I tried assuring him. "I'm shaken up, but I'm okay."

"You wanna skip school?" He laughed, trying to help ease the tension. "We could get shit faced together. Dad's going back to work and Rosalie is going to be staying with our grandmotherly neighbor. She rocks."

"Your dad is going back to work?" I asked.

"He won't be there a lot, but he's going to start the process." He told me. "Tomorrow he's just going through paperwork and shit like that. He won't be seeing patients for a while though."

"Good for him," I smiled. He was really making progress and I was really happy for him. I didn't think he'd ever get out of bed let alone get back to work. I think Edward being home helped him a lot and I don't think Edward knows how much. "That's...that's really good."

"Yeah," He whispered. We talked about lighter crap for a little bit longer before I had to hang up to go to bed. My phone buzzed as I was turning out the lights and I picked it up and saw it was Mike again. I hit ignore and set it back on my table. He hadn't stopped calling since I got home the night of the incident. But, I refused to talk to him over the phone.

I wanted a real apology before breaking up with him.

Going to school the next day was awful. I hadn't slept and I couldn't stop being afraid of Mike. Jake and Alice wouldn't let up about me leaving and I wanted to tell them, but I couldn't. I knew Jake would punch Mike and then be suspended for it and I just wanted to let it go.

But, they were relentless and I finally just told them as we stood by Jake's locker once we got to school. Jake seethed with anger as Alice hugged me tightly. I really didn't see the big fuss. It scared me at first, but after crying like a moron on Edward's shoulder, I got over it. IT WASN'T A BIG DEAL! I saw Mike walking towards us as Jake shut the locker, and they both turned towards him.

"You piece of shit mother fucker!" Jake screamed as he threw his backpack to the ground and stormed after Mike. He punched him right in the nose, causing it to bleed profusely before a teacher came out of a classroom. Jake got escorted to the principle's office while I walked Mike to the nurse. Mrs. Peter's looked at it and told him it was most likely broken before leaving us to call his mother to come and get him.

"Bella," He whispered as he held the ice up to his nose. His nose was still bleeding and his eyes had begun to swell ever so slightly. "I'm so sorry."

"Stop," I shook my head in disgust. "You deserve what you got and if you think I'm still your precious girlfriend, you're a fucking moron."

"I was drunk,"

"So was Jake." I pointed out. "And he wasn't trying to have sex with Leah after she said no. We're done, Mike. Simple as that." I told him before grabbing my bag and storming out of the nurses office. Once I was around a corner, I slumped up against the wall and tried to push the tears away. I didn't want to cry about him, he wasn't worth it. But, he'd taken away almost six months from me. Time I could have been using for other guys.

For Edward.

I walked to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on my face before grabbing some toilet paper and wiping my eyes. Alice came into the bathroom right as I was about to leave, and gave me her look of pity. She pulled me into the handicapped stall and made me sit down on the toilet as she washed my face and touched up my make up.

I had no idea what I'd do without her.

"I don't know why I'm so upset." I told her as she pulled out her eyeliner.

"He wasn't a great guy," She sighed. "But, he was good to you most of the time. And, you were comfortable with him. You knew what to expect...you trusted him and when he did that on Thursday, he broke that trust."

"I guess," I shrugged. "But...I'm not a girl who cries over a guy."

"You're not a girl who's been hurt by one." She whispered and she was right. Most of the time, I was the one breaking it off. And, if they did break it off, I was already planning on ending it anyway. No one had lasted six months with me before though, and Mike did. The one guy I choose to be in a relationship with turns out to be a little fuck.

Fucking Mike Newton.

The bell to first period rang and I was glad Jake had broken his nose. We had almost every period together and I didn't know if I could handle sitting with him staring at me for six hours.

The day dragged on and instead of heading home or to the coffee shop with Alice, I headed in the opposite direction of my house. I found myself sitting in front of a house I'd been to a million times, but I couldn't seem to get out of the car. His Volvo was in the driveway so I knew he was there, but I just couldn't do it. I contemplated just driving home, but I thought he should know.

He gave me the courage to end it with Mike and I thought he should know.

So, I took a deep breath and opened the car door. I walked slowly up the stairs to the porch and rang the doorbell. It didn't take long for him to come to the door and open it for me. He didn't ask questions, though. He stepped aside and let me inside. I walked to the kitchen and opened the fridge, stealing one of his beers. He laughed at me as I chugged it, but I didn't care. I really needed this.

"So?" He asked as we sat on the couch together. He cut me off from beer after the one I chugged, so I was stuck drinking _Sprite_ as he drank his _Samuel Adams_.

"I dumped him." I shrugged and his face lit up. "After Jake punched him and broke his nose."

"You let _Jake_ punch him but _I_ wasn't allowed to do anything?" He asked, trying to sound offended, but his smile told me otherwise.

"I didn't know Jake was going to punch him." I laughed. "He just kind of did after I told him."

"You hadn't told your friends, yet?"

"No, I didn't wanna make a big deal out of it." I whispered. "And, you could have gotten arrested. Jake got suspend for two days. Not the same."

"I wouldn't have gone to jail if you explained to your dad what..."

"Not going to happen." I cut him off. "I'd never be allowed out of his sight ever again."

"Well, as long as you dumped his ugly ass and he got what he deserved, I don't care if you tell the Chief." He smiled as his hand brushed over mine. Electricity raced through my body at his touch, and I just wanted him to continue. When I looked up at him, it looked like he was feeling the same way by the way he was looking at me. He put his bottle on the coffee table and took my Sprite from me

"Hey," I whispered as he placed his other hand on my knee.

"Hi," He smiled as he leaned into me.

_Oh. My. God._


	10. I'll the One

**Chapter Ten: I'll the One**

* * *

**Edward's POV**

It had been almost six months since Esme died and since months since I moved back to Forks. Dad got me an office job at the hospital to help pay for my car insurance, but since that was the only thing I had to pay for, I as doing pretty well. The band hadn't really had any gigs since leaving Chicago, but it gave everyone time to work on the music and perfect it.

And then, there was Bella. We'd had plenty of almost kisses, but every time we got close, something interrupted us. It was usually Rosalie's screams, but it always happened. I was just glad she didn't have that crap boyfriend anymore so she didn't have to feel guilty if we did anything. But, things between us were not moving like I expected them to.

It wasn't like she was turning me down, she just wasn't opening up. She refused to get too close to me and I was afraid we'd never get anywhere in our relationship. I wanted more and I could tell she did too, but something was holding her back. I wasn't sure if she was afraid or if it was because she was leaving for UCLA in August.

That's right, she'd been accepted to UCLA with almost a full scholarship. Her, Jake, and Alice were heading to LA in August, never to look back at Forks. I feared not seeing her again since I didn't come back to Forks until something terrible happened. Then, I thought...why couldn't we go to LA? Dad was doing much better and Rosalie was getting bigger each day. I didn't think we'd ever have normalcy again, but we were pretty damn close.

I just didn't know what was right anymore and I was fucking tired of the unknown.

"What do you wanna do for your birthday, dad?" I asked one night as I plopped down on the couch next to him. "Dinner? Party? Drink?" I laughed.

"I'm not going to do anything this year, Edward." He sighed sadly as he played with his wedding band. Although he was doing great, he had yet to take it off and I didn't think he ever would. "I'm done with birthdays."

"But, this is big for you." I smiled, nudging him. "The big 4-0!"

"And it's no different than turning 39." He spat. "Only this time, I don't have a wife."

"Dad,"

"I'm not going to do anything on my birthday, Edward!" He told me before standing up and stomping upstairs. I jumped when I heard his door slamming and I just hoped he hadn't woken the baby up. I sat back on the couch, but that wasn't doing anything so I grabbed my car keys and headed over to Bella's house. She had taken her AP Calc test that day and she told me she wasn't doing anything the rest of the night and her next exam wasn't until Monday.

"What's wrong?" She asked when she opened the door. She obviously was just about to get into bed since she had PJ shorts and a big t-shirt on.

"Sorry, I should have called." I shrugged sheepishly.

"You never have to call, Edward." She giggled as she opened the door. "Dad just got back, but he crashed as soon as he got home." She explained. "You wanna go out back?"

"Sure," I nodded as she pulled her hair up into a bun. When she turned around, I noticed a black design on the back of her neck, something that wasn't there a month ago. "What's this?" I asked, brushing my hands across the tattoo.

"Oh, Jake, Alice, and I got tattoo's at the end of April." She smiled. "Jake got some sort of wolf on his arm...it something to do with his Native American heritage and Alice got an infinity symbol on her ankle."

"What's yours?"

"It means New Beginnings." She giggled. "I figured, in a few months I'm going to be out of the small town and in the big Los Angeles. It's going to be new, and scary, and I might pee myself a few times, but...it'll be good." She shrugged. "I thought I'd get something to remind me that new beginnings are a good thing."

"I like it."I smiled as she opened the sliding glass door, leading us outside. Her backyard was big and spacious. You could see for miles and since it was a clear night, you could see the sky perfectly. "I never realized how pretty your backyard is."

"Yeah, I'm gonna miss the most." She sighed. "I mean, I'm ready for the city, but the stars won't be very visible."

"Nope," I shook my head. "It took me a long time to get used to that."

"So, what's on your mind?"

"Dad's turning forty next week and he doesn't wanna do anything." I sighed. "I mean, I understand but I thought this would be a good thing." I explained. "I mean, I thought it'd be good for him to do something even though Esme won't be here. She wouldn't want him sitting in the house on his birthday. She'd probably kick his ass if she could."

"You can't force him to do anything," She whispered. "I mean, you can try and convince him, but you can't force him."

"I know, it's just...he's come such a long way and I thought..." I trailed off. "I just thought this would be another thing he could accomplish without her."

"I could have my dad talk to him," She shrugged. "Man to man."

"I'm a man." I pointed out.

"But, you're his son." She laughed. "It's always different when it's two friends talking to each other."

"True," I nodded and looked back up at the sky.

* * *

By some miracle, Charlie was able to convince my dad to have a party in the backyard. Dad claimed he as in charge of the guest list, but I could take care of everything else. I kept it simple. A BBQ, simple decorations, and some cliche outdoor party activities like Corn Hole and a card table. He'd kept the guest list very small, but Bella and Jasper would be there and that's all that mattered to me.

Bella walked into the backyard, looking stunning. It had been surprisingly warm for May and she and Alice had been laying out in the sun while they studied. She had a simple, floral white dress on and a pair of sandals. She could literally wear a paper bag over her head and look absolutely stunning. She saw me and smiled before grabbing Rosalie out of the seat Dad had put her in.

"Hi," I smiled after she'd put Rosalie down and made her way over.

"Hey," She giggled. "Nice party."

"It's a dud."

"It's what he wanted." She reminded me.

"You bring your bathing suit?" I asked.

"I have it on under my dress." She told me. "Why'd I have to bring it?"

"I thought we could get out of here for a while and go to the rive." I told her. "It's mostly adults and Jasper's MIA right now."

"Okay, let me grab my bag." She told me and I went upstairs to change into my swimming trunks. When I came back down, she had her big beach bag and was waiting for me on the edge of the woods. We made sure no one was watching and grabbed hands as we walked into the woods. I pulled her to my favorite spot that still had the old rope my dad set up when I was younger.

"Fun," She giggled as she took ahold of the rope.

"Don't use that." I warned. "Ever since I saw Bridge to Terabithia I've been terrified of those things."

"Good to know," She mocked as she reached down and pulled her dress up. I thought my heart stopped when I saw her. She was wearing a white, strapless bikini that didn't have much to it at all. It barely covered her up top and was tied together with two little strings on the bottom. Her body was perfectly tanned and her stomach was toned. Her little belly button ring sparkled in the little bit of sunlight getting through the trees.

"Earth to Edward?" She asked, waving her hands in front of him. I snapped out of it and looked up at her, trying not to look to guilty. "Just making sure you hadn't checked out on me."

"Nope," I squeaked and turned around to remove my Vans and t-shirt. I turned around and smiled when I caught he staring at my stomach and it made me feel a little bit better for gawking at her. "Ready to swim?"

"Always," She giggled.

"It's a little bit deep here." I warned as I jumped in. When I came back up, she'd stuck her legs in the water, but looked like she wasn't going to move. "You getting in?"

"It's cold," She complained.

"Oh for Heavens sake." I growled as I grabbed her hand and pulled her in with me. She came back up and glared at me before grabbing my head and pushing me under.

"Jerk!" She yelled once she let me come up. "I'm not that great in deep water." She confessed as she clung to the riverbank. And then I felt like a dick.

"I'm sorry," I whispered coming up and rubbing her shoulders. "I didn't know."

"I know," She nodded. "Just...don't let me go."

"Never." I smiled as I grabbed her small body and swam us both out to the middle of the river. Thankfully, the current didn't get too strong until father down and I wasn't planning on taking us down that way. I held onto her hims as we just bobbed up and down. She was clinging to me with all her strength and I could feel her breathing steady as we floated there.

This was perfect.

But, after a while in the water, it began to cool and Bella's teeth began to chatter. I told her it was time to get out and we swam over to the riverbank to get out. I grabbed her towel and wrapped it around her and grabbed my own, wrapping it around my waist.

"This was fun," She giggled as we lay down in the little bit of sun shining through the trees. "Alice, Jake, and I usually just go to the pool in the summer. We've never swam in here before." She told me. The river ran through most of town and most of the kids that lived in Forks went here to get drunk and party. I was glad some of it ran through my backyard.

"You guys are welcome here anytime." I smiled as I looked over at her.

"There you two are." I heard Jasper laugh as he walked towards us. I broke my gaze and sat up and turned around to see him and Alice walking towards us. "I found this one looking all sad and lonely. So, I thought I'd bring her down with us."

"Alice, what are you doing here?" Bella asked as she sat up.

"Edward said I could come." She shrugged. "Keep you guys company in the midst of all the adults."

"Thanks," She smiled, turning to me. I nodded as she stood up and walked over to Alice. Jasper came and sat down in the spot Bella had just vacated, staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing, Edward." He lied, turning back to the river. "Nothing at all." She laughed. "She does look quite hot in that little bikini." He said and I pushed him down to the floor.

"Are we gonna swim or sit here?" Alice asked as she pulled her shirt off and pulled her shorts down. Alice was hot too, but she didn't compare to Bella.

"Damn," Jasper whispered and I just smirked at her. "She's hot." He whispered as he leaned into me.

"It got kind of cold after a while, so I think we're just gonna sit on the riverbank." Bella told her as she grabbed her towel and folded it in half, setting it down on the rivers edge. Both Jasper and Alice jumped in, splashing both of us as I did the same thing with my own towel. We watched the two of them swim around and flirt until Alice's teeth were chattering.

They got out and dried off before we all got dressed again and headed back to the party. Dad would kill me if I didn't even make an appearance since I'd forced him into having a party. We stashed the girls the things in the house before Bella and I grabbed the cake.

"Happy birthday to you!" We sang after we'd lit the candles. Dad came over and stood next to the cake and everyone joined in singing. "Happy Birthday Dad! Happy birthday to you!" I sang and he took a deep breath before blowing out his candles. Bella cut and distributed the cake and went over to Rosalie and began feeding her small bites from her own piece.

Just as I was finishing my cake, my phone began ringing. I dug through my pockets and pulled it out, noticing the Seattle area code. I went into the house and answered it.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Edward Cullen?" A strange mans voice asked.

"Yes?"

"This is Henry Greggs from the Trinity Nightclub in Seattle." He told me and I nearly choked. The Trinity was one of the biggest clubs in Seattle. "And, someone has sent your bands demo to me and I would like to offer you a gig."

"At the Trinity?" I asked like an idiot.

"Yes, here at the Trinity." He laughed. "It would be the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend. Would you like the spot?"

"Yes!" I screeched. "Yes, thank you so much Mr. Greggs."

"Don't thank me." He said. "Thank a Miss Bella Swan. She sent me the tape."

"I will, thanks again." I sighed as I hung up. Bella had sent my demo CD to a club in Seattle. Bella had hooked my band up with the first gig since leaving Chicago. I took a few big breaths, trying to collect my thoughts before going outside and finding Bella. She was over by the small pool Dad had set up for the baby, talking Alice.

I walked over to her and without giving any warning, turned her around and crashed my lips into hers. She held herself back in confussion, but eventually wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling me tighter. I pulled back when we were both breathless and realized everyone was starring and grabbed her hand and pulled her into the woods.

"What was that for?" She giggled as she leaned up against a tree when we were far enough away from everyone.

"I wanted to thank you." I sighed.

"For what, exactly?" She asked and all I wanted to do was pull her into my arms and kiss her again. I'd only just throught about what it'd be like to kiss her, but to actually feel her lips on mine was actually the best fucking feeling in the world.

"Getting us that gig." I smiled and she looked down at her feet and kicked around some dirt. "I know it was you, Bells."

"How?"

"The owner told me I should be thanking you, not him." I smiled. "I really mean it, Bella. Thank you."

"It's not a big deal." She shrugged. "You deserve it." She smiled. "You're so much better than Jasper's basement."

"Really?" I asked. I knew we were good. But, hearing that from Bella made it so much more real. Like we might actually have a shot at becoming something big. "You think?"

"I know," She corrected. "I've heard you play, Edward. You're going to be something big someday." She whispered and without warning, I pushed her against the tree again and attacted her lips with mine. She moaned into my mouth as she brought her leg up and hitched it around my hip. I pulled her other leg up and wrapped her legs tightly around my hips. I could feel myself hardening beneath her as she ground into me.

I was ready to take here in the fucking woods.

But, before I could do anything else, she pushed me away and climbed down. She walked over to another tree and leaned her forehead against it, looking defeated.

"Bella?" I asked as I went up and touched her shoulders. She tensed up and pushed me away. She was my best friend, other than Jasper, and we'd always been close. We were always snuggling up to each other while we watched movies and sat with each other. I didn't understand why she was all of a sudden pushing me away.

"I can't, Edward." She whispered, turning around and opening her eyes to look at me. She had tears spilling out of them and my heart lurched. I didn't want her to cry. "I'm sorry, I just can't."

"Can't what?" I asked. I thought this is what she wanted.

"I just...can't." She cried and began walking away, but I didn't want things to be weird so I caught up with her and grabbed her hand.

"Come to Seattle with us." I begged. "Please. You can bring Alice if you want, but come to Seattle with us."

"What?"

"Come watch us play." I shrugged. "You're the reason we got the gig, you should be there." I told her. "I want...I need you there."

"Edward,"

"You're my best friend, Bells." I told her honestly.

"Jasper's your best friend." She corrected.

"You know what I mean," I laughed. "Please, I'd really love it if you came."

"I can bring Alice?" She asked, biting down on her lip. Every time she did that, I just wanted to fuck her. But, I didn't want to scare her again so I kept my lips to myself. I nodded a yes and she smiled, wrapping her arms around my neck and hugging me tightly. "We'll be there." She sighed. "And, I mean it, Edward."

"What?" I asked as I pulled her away to look at her in the eyes.

"You're worth this gig." She smiled. "You deserve it."


	11. I'm Not Ready

**Chapter Eleven: I'm Not Ready**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"Do you think this is too much?" Alice asked as she held up one of the skimpy dresses we bought junior year when we got invited to the New Years Eve party the seniors held. "Or...too slutty?"

"That depends." I laughed as I threw a pair of PJ shorts into the small suitcase. The weekend of Edward's gig was here and Alice and I were heading to Seattle with the boys when we got out of school tomorrow. "Is slutty good or bad?"

"I don't know," She lied. She had developed a thing for Jasper after Dr. Cullen's birthday party and she was dying to see him for the weekend. "Doesn't matter."

"No, it's not too much." I rolled my eyes. "But, it is kinda slutty."

"Eh," She laughed as she folded it. I finished packing my things and went into the guest room to study. Even though I was in at UCLA, I had finals and I was scared out of my mind to have my acceptence revoked. So, while Alice fiddled around with her clothes, I studied my Bio notes and looked over my old Calc tests.

Friday went too slow. The seniors were taking their finals when we got back from Seattle, so we sat around all day, doing nothing. I hated it, but Dad told me he'd find out if I skipped so I decided to just stay. But, once we got back to my house, Edward and Jasper were waiting for us in the driveway. We grabbed out bags, said bye to my dad and ran out to his car.

"We're going to take both our cars." Edward told us on the way back to Jasper's house. "There's just too much stuff for us all to be in the van." He explained. "Plus, I think Jasper wants some alone time with you, Alice."

"Edward!" Jasper barked, hitting him in the arm. "He's just being a little fucker." He said as he turned around to look at Alice. Neither of us believed him, but we went along with it. It was so obvious they had a thing for each other. The only difference was Alice wasn't really _hiding_ it from everyone, she just hadn't _admitted_ it yet.

Once we got back to their house, we helped them load up the van before putting Alice's things into Jasper's car. We grabbed the snack bag and soon, Edward and I were on the road together. I so badly wanted to tell him how I felt and kiss him again, but I just couldn't. I couldn't tell him how I felt because that made everything so...real. I was happy in our little bubble and I didn't want to ruin anything.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked once we'd been on the road for a half an hour. Edward and I never had troubled making conversations, but today was different. We hadn't been alone since his dads party...since he kissed me.

"Yeah," He said, looking over at me and smiling. I felt my cheeks heating up and turned towards the road.

"Why do you hate Forks so much?" I whispered, afraid I was crossing a line.

"Everyone hates Forks." He laughed. "And, everyone leaves."

"True," I nodded. I couldn't wait to leave and go to LA, but I was willing to come home for the holidays to see my dad. "But, you told me you wouldn't have gone to your Dad's wedding if it had been in Forks." I sighed. "You have like...an intense hatred. And, you got out so it isn't like you're afraid of getting stuck."

"I am now," He told me. "You really wanna know?" He finally asked after a long pause.

"I really do."

"My dad thought he had it all." He explained. "He had the good grades, the scholarship to a great school, a beautiful girlfriend. Then, he got my birth mom pregnant." He sighed. "She didn't want to keep me, she wanted to give me up for adoption...my dad had to practically beg her to keep me. And then, once I was born and brought home from the hospital, she didn't touch me. She didn't breast feed me, so I needed the formula in a bottle.

"And then, she went out for formula when I was five months and she never came back." He whispered, his expression blank. "I don't like Forks because it just reminds me that my own mother didn't want me and abandoned me."

"But, you have your dad." I said.

"Yeah, and he's the greatest man I know." He smiled. "That doesn't stop that awful feeling. That feeling you get when you think about how your mom didn't want you." He whispered. "My dad loved my mom. I heard him tell my grandma if he hadn't gotten her pregnant, he would have married her."

"You heard that?" I asked, feeling awful for bringing this up.

"He thought I was asleep." He shrugged. "And, it was the anniversary of her leaving, so he was in a mood." He said. "Anyway, one day I asked him about her and he told me about everything they did. He told me their first date was at Morton's. He told her he loved her at the ice creme place. And, when I was older and went to those places, it was just a reminder she left him because of me."

"You feel guilty."

"You're fucking right I feel guilty." He spat. "If I hadn't come along, they'd probably be married."

"It wouldn't be a good marriage." I told him. "He obviously wanted kids by the way he begged her to keep you, and she obviously didn't...sorry." I whispered. "So, they'd always be fighting about having kids or not having kids." I said. "What he and Esme had was way better and more special than what he and your mom had."

"I guess," He whispered. "It's just hard."

"Trust me, I know the feeling of abandonment." I whispered, looking back at the road. "My mom left when I was thirteen. She never looked back."

"At least she didn't leave because of you."

"No, she didn't want my dad anymore." I told him. "And, sometimes, that's even worse."

"How?"

"Dad's my best friend. She killed something inside of him and I'll never forgive her for that." I told him. "She never did anything after she left, she only sent him the papers to sign."

"That's rough,"

"It is, but it would have been a lot harder on my dad if I picked up an left." I whispered. I felt like I was suddenly lecturing him and I just hoped he wouldn't get mad. "I'm leaving like everyone else, but I'm going to go back for Christmas and stuff."

"I just...I felt if I went back there then it'd be harder to leave." He shrugged. "And, I was right. I don't know how I'm supposed to go back to Chicago."

"You're going back?" I asked and I felt my stomach drop. I thought he was going to stay or something.

"Yeah, once I feel my dad's ready to be alone and can handle Rosalie by himself." He shrugged like it was nothing. Like it was as easy as blinking. "I miss the city."

"There are other cities."

"I guess, but Chicago is my city, Bella." He whispered.

* * *

We got to Seattle a little bit after everyone else had. Alice and I were sharing a room that the owner of The Trinity was providing. The two of us cleaned up before going to the rehearsal Edward invited us to. I'd heard them a few times when I'd meet him at Jasper's before a study session, but I'd never heard them like this. They had a real shot if they'd just take a chance and go to LA to try and find a record deal.

After they were done, we went out to eat with the rest of the guys. But, Alice and Jasper snuck away after we'd gotten there, leaving me alone with Edward and the three other band members. It was weird being with his friends. He was very closed off and didn't like to mix his Chicago life with his Forks life. But, Felix, Demitri, and Emmett were all good guys and I couldn't figure out why he tried to hide them from everyone else.

"You good, man?" Felix asked after we finished dinner and they announced they were going to go to a bar. Edward told them to go ahead without him since I couldn't get in and he didn't want me to be alone since Alice was still no where in sight. I wondered if he did that with all his...girls...back in the city.

"Yeah, we're good." He smiled as he put down a tip and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the exit.

"So, what is there to do in the great city of Seattle?" I asked once we got into the car.

"No idea." He laughed. "Let's go find out." He said as he buckled his seat belt and put the key in the ignition. I looked at him as he started to drive and wondered what he'd be like in bed. Amazing, obviously, but, if we were to hook up, would it be different. He told me he didn't have girlfriends, just one night stands for the most part, but since we were close and there was obviously something between us, would it be different?

Or, would I be another one night stand?

"Wanna go mini golfing?"He asked as we approached a course. I hadn't been mini golfing since Dad took me to the beach after my mother left. I turned and nodded to him and he pulled into the parking lot. "Two," He told the cashier and I pulled out my wallet to pay for my half. But, once I tried getting my card out, he swatted my hand away and gave me a smile.

"You didn't have to pay for me," I whispered as we made our way to the first hole.

"I wanted to," He shrugged. "Ladies first," He smiled once we'd gotten to the hole. I smiled at him and set my ball down to hit it. I took my stance and gently tapped the ball, but I missed the hole by a good distance. "You're standing all wrong."

"Am I?" I asked as he put his ball down and putted. He missed too, but not as badly as I had. "You missed too,"

"Yeah, but look where I am, and look where you are." He pointed out, and he had a point. He was right by the hole, and I was on the other side of the green. We putted until we got the ball into the hole and went over to the second one.

"If I'm standing so wrong, why don't you help me out, Tiger?" I asked as I set my ball down.

"Fine," He smiled as he put his club down and came up behind me. He wrapped his arms around me and put his hands over mine. I could feel the electricity going through us as he stood behind me, helping me with my stance. "You're too tense, relax your hands a little bit," He whispered in my ear, making me shiver a little bit. "There you go," He laughed as he brought our arms back and gently tapped the ball. It still didn't go it, but it was a lot better than the first one.

"Wow," I sighed after he'd let go. I could feel how warm my face was and I prayed he wasn't paying attention. "Thanks, Tiger."

"Anytime." He laughed as he made his putt. This continued until the fifteenth hole when I finally got a hole in one.

"I did it!" I squealed happily as I jumped into his arms. I didn't understand why I was so excited, it was only mini golf, but it was a good excuse to hug him and I was going to take anything I could get it. "I did it," I whispered as I pulled back and looked into his beautiful green eyes.

"You did it," He smiled, giving me a wink. I pulled away from him and caught my breath before he took his turn. I didn't get another hole in one, but I got one so it was okay. Edward won, obviously, and to celebrate, we made our way back to the hotel to order room service.

"We can go to my room." He said once the elevator dinged and we got off on our floor. We walked down the hall and he swiped his key card, opening the door.

"Fuck! Jasper!" Alice yelled as we walked in on her riding Jasper.

"Oh, god!" Edward and I yelled at the same time, turning around and walking out as quickly as possible. They looked a little too busy to have seen or heard us, thank god.

"That is something I never wanted to see." Edward laughed as we made our way down the hall to my room.

"Oh, I've walked in on her a few times before." I told him. "Of course, she saw me and stopped right away, but it wasn't pleasant either way."

"I can imagine." He laughed as we got to my door and I swiped the key. I opened the door and the coast was clear. He made his way in and plopped down on the bed Alice had claimed. He grabbed the phone and ordered us room service.

"Are you nervous for tomorrow?" I asked after the food had been delivered.

"I don't know," He shrugged. "We've played bigger clubs before, but we always auditioned, you know?" He asked. "We've never been offered a job before."

"Well, maybe you got better since being in Forks." I suggested.

"Maybe," He smiled at me.

* * *

"Hello Seattle!" Edward yelled into the microphone after their band had been introduced. Everyone cheered and clapped and I smiled up at him. He'd gotten Alice and I into the club as long as we promised not to set foot near the bar. We kept our word and stayed in the seats Edward had saved for us.

"One! Two! Three!" Felix yelled, tapping his drum sticks together.

They started to play and the crowd loved them already. They had so much energy and looked so happy up there, I knew I'd made the right choice sneding in their demo tape. They played their first set which ended up being forty-five minutes before going off the stage for a break. Alice and I went up and ordered some Coke's before heading back to the table.

"So, you never told me how it was." I said as we sat back down. I told her we'd walked in on her and Jasper, but she shrugged it off, telling me she didn't care. "Was he good?"

"Best I've ever had." She nodded.

"Alice, you've only been with like, three other people." I sighed. She wasn't a saint, but she wasn't like me. She didn't do a lot of one nights. Sex mattered to her and I could tell she didn't like it when she was with two ransom guys at a party. She lost her virginity to her long time boyfriend, Paul after they'd been together for a year and a half. After him, she'd only been with Embry and Alex.

"So?" She asked. "Maybe I haven't had a lot of sex, but he has and trust me, it matters." She laughed. "He was fucking amazing."

"That's good,"

"And, before that, we...we kind of connected." She sighed happily. "I mean, on an emotional level, you know?"

"Yeah." I lied. I didn't know what that felt like. Mike and I didn't really connect. Like ever.

"We talked the entire way to Seattle. After Paul and I broke up, I didn't think I'd ever have that again. I thought he was it, and you know how broken up I was about it." She shrugged. "But, Jasper and I...I don't even know."

"Alice, you've known the guy for like, two weeks." I pointed out.

"Yeah, but why does that matter?"

"Because you're talking about him like you talked about Paul after a year of dating."

"Paul was a shit head." She snipped.

"Yeah, but you thought he was your guy." I whispered and she looked down at her drink. "Just be careful, I don't want you to get hurt again. I hated seeing you like that."

"I know you're just looking out for me," She smiled as the lights dimmed again. Edward came back on the stage and everyone clapped for them. He settled down at the piano they'd brought out and set up the microphone.

"We're going to slow it down a little bit," He smiled, looking at me as he began to play the keys. He started playing a simple, beautiful melody. "This is one of the first songs I played when I learned to play piano." He explained. "And, this one is for Bella."

"For who?" I asked Alice and she shook her head as she smiled at me.

"When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you. And when I go out, yeah I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you." He sang and I could feel tears filling my eyes.

"That Bella is a lucky girl." I heard someone say as he continued to play.

"We slow danced to this." I told Alice. "I was babysitting one day and this came on the radio...he asked me to dance in the middle of his living room." I cried as I wiped away a tear. "

"But I would walk 500 miles. And I would walk 500 more, just to be the man who walked 1000 miles. To fall down at your door." He sang.

"I think he'd walk to the ends of the earth for you, Bells." Alice whispered.


	12. Guess It's True

**Chapter Twelve: Guess It's True**

* * *

**Edward's POV**

Our weekend in Seattle came and went and still, nothing from Bella. Not even a kiss after the show. I couldn't figure out why we were taking steps backwards instead of forward, but I learned it's better to not question things when it came to her. She did things her own way and I guess I'd have to trust her. And, I trusted her with my life.

But, one thing that was coming that neither of us could avoid. Graduation. She would be graduating this week and she'd soon be leaving for UCLA. It was something we knew was coming, but decided to ignore. I couldn't imagine not seeing her everyday and it hurt to think about. So, I didn't think about it. I thought about the band and when the next time we could go to the rive was.

But, even though I didn't want to think about it, I had to get her a bomb ass gift. She wasn't just somebody I was close with. She was Bella. My best friend and...the girl I was in love with. I didn't know how I felt about being in love, it had never happened to me before. The girl from junior year was fun and I cared about her until she became a total bitch, but I'd never been in love before.

So, I asked the only person I thought I could trust to go shopping with me. After school Monday, I picked her up from the school and we drove the hour long drive to Port Angeles. We looked through the entire mall, but it wasn't until we were standing in a small jewlery store that I found something perfect.

"You think she'd like this?" I asked Alice as I pointed to it through the glass. It was a simple, silver anchor, but I thought it was perfect for Bella. She was into that kind of thing and she had anchors and feathers doodled all over her notebooks. I was surprised she actually listened in class there were so many doodles.

"I think that's perfect, Edward." She smiled before asking the salesman to take it out of the case. I was sure Alice could tell how I felt. I mean, I was in a jewlery store, shopping for the girl for goodness sake. But, I trusted that Alice was capable of keeping her mouth shut. Until I told her to say something anyway. I looked more closely at the necklace and told the man we'd take it.

Soon, it was Friday and the day Bella would be graduating. I stayed in bed for a long time, looking up at the ceiling, trying not to think about August. I just had to get through this day and then, I could start thinking about August. But, it was only three months away and I didn't think I'd ever be ready.

Finally, at three, Dad demanded I get out of bed and eat something before getting ready for the ceremony. I picked at a leftover salad Bella had made last night for us before getting in the shower. After I was done, I contemplated shaving completely. I kept the scruff well maintained, but I hadn't been completely shaven since Dad's wedding.

But, this was a big day so I grabbed the shaving cream and the razor and began the process. When my face was finally smooth, I didn't even recognize myself and Dad had to do a double take to make sure it was me.

"You look nice, son." He smiled as he clapped me in the back. I shook my head at him and followed him into the nursery. I told him to go get himself ready and I'd take charge and change Rosalie. He thankfully changed her diaper and left me the outfit she'd be wearing.

"See?" I asked Rosalie as I pulled on the blue sweated Bella had bought for her. "I can do this," I smiled and she clapped her little hands together. She was getting so big, it was hard to imagine she was already going to be one in September.

"Wow, good job, Edward." Dad laughed as he came into the nursery. "Everything is in the right place and she doesn't look like she fell off the changing table."

"Ha-ha, dad." I mocked. "I help Bella babysit her all the time."

"Sure you do."He sighed as I grabbed her diaper bag and I picked her up. I strapped her into the car seat that stayed in my car before getting into the drivers seat. I drove over to the small stadium for the ceremony and we'd gotten there early enough we got a real parking spot.

I carried Rosalie into the stadium and found Bella right away. She was standing with Alice and Jake by the fifty-yard line. Her hair was in a light curl and even though she was wearing the same robe as every other girl here, she looked so good. She looked over and locked eyes at me and gave me a small wave.

Dad came and pulled me up into the stands with everyone else. The graduates went down to line up before the processional began. They walked onto the field and graduation officially began. The Senior President, Valedictorian, and Superintendent gave their speeches, and soon, it was time to hand out the diplomas.

"Jacob William Black! Mary Alice Brandon!" Their homeroom teacher called and after that, I stopped paying attention until they called Jessica Stanley, knowing Bella would be soon. "Isabella Marie Swan!" They called and I stood up and clapped for her. She looked up at me and stuck her tongue out at me as she moved her tassel to the right side of her cap.

"It gives me great pleasure to declare the Class of 2014 OFFICIALLY GRADUATED!" Principle Hannon announced. They all stood up and threw their caps into the air and I couldn't have been more proud of Bella. She made it. I mean, I knew she would, but it was still amazing to watch her actually get a diploma.

We met on the field with her friends and father. She ran into my arms and hugged me tightly and I wrapped my arms around her, kissing the top of her head.

"Picture!" Alice giggled as she held her camera up. Bella turned around, but didn't loosen her grip on me as Alice snapped the picture.

"You guys are welcome to come back to my place." Bella said once Alice was distracted by her own family. "Dad has a cake and stuff back at the house and Alice and Jake will be there with their families."

"We'd love to come, Bella." Dad spoke up as he came and gave her a one armed hug before handing Rosalie to her.

"Hey, sweet girl." She smiled, kissing Rosalie's chubby cheek. Rosalie giggled with glee and I had to smile at them. Not that I was thinking that far ahead, but I knew she'd make an amazing mom one day. Her kids were already blessed to have her and they didn't even exist yet.

We drove over to Bella's small house and crowded around the living room. The Chief had gotten three small cakes for each other them and we spent at least twenty minutes taking pictures of them with their cakes. I watched her as she laughed with her two best friends. She looked beautiful in her white dress and I knew I had to stop staring at her. It was getting kind of obvious. After everyone had their cake and were enjoying conversation, I locked eyes with Bella and motioned for her to follow me outside.

"What's up?" She asked once we were outside. I turned and wrapped my arms around her again before picking her up and spinning her around. "Edward!"

"Congratulations, Bella." I whispered as I set her down.

"Can't believe you shaved," She smiled as she touched her hand to my face. "I loved your scruff."

"It'll grow back pretty quick." I shrugged as I reached into my jacket pocket, gripping the velvet box. I pulled it out and handed it to her. "Happy Graduation."

"Edward," She sighed as she took it from me. "I said you didn't need to get me anything."

"I wanted to." I winked, making her blush before she untied the purple ribbon on the box. She gently opened it and smiled widely.

"Edward," She gasped as she took the necklace from the box. "It's beautiful,"

"I just remembered all those anchor doodles on all of your notebooks." I laughed as I took it from her and turned her around. "And, you've always been into symbolic things and stuff." I said as I clasped it in place.

"You're right, I am into symbolic things and stuff." She giggled as she turned back around. We locked eyes and I gripped her hips as I leaned into her. But, before I could get close, she put her arms out and pushed me away.

"Bells?" I whispered in confusion.

"I don't want anything to change, Edward." She sighed as she walked over to the small bench on the back porch. "Please, just...lets keep everything the same."

"Why?" I groaned as I sat down next to her. "I feel like we're always taking two steps back."

"Please just...do this for me." She whispered. I bowed my head in defeat. Something was eating at her and she wasn't going to let her open up to me. "I'm sorry."

"I just don't get it." I shrugged. "Help me understand."

"I can't," She shook her head. "You just have to trust me."

"I do," I nodded. "That's the problem, little girl." I smiled as I gripped her chin and lifted her head to look at me. "Why do you do this to me?" I asked.

"I'm sorry," She sighed as I pressed my forehead to hers. If a stranger came outside right now, they'd think we were a couple.

But we weren't and I was starting to think we never would be a couple. Something was going on with her and I didn't think she'd ever open up about it.

And that hurt like hell.

* * *

"Oh my god!" She sighed as she leaned against the cart. "Was it this hard for you?" Bella asked as we stood in the middle of Target, trying to shop for college things. We had a cart full already and we were only halfway down her list.

"I'm a guy." I shrugged. "I had my toothbrush and guitar." I laughed. "Dad actually did most of the shopping."

"Then why are you here?" She yelled as she slapped me.

"Because I do know what you're going to need, Bells." I sighed. "He bought everything, but I know what was useful and what I out into storage." I explained. "And, would you rather shop with Alice?"

"No, but you aren't much better!" She sighed, even though I knew she was lying. I took the cart from her and smiled at the anchor that still hung from her neck. She hadn't taken it off since graduation which was a month ago.

"Come on, let's just go check out and go get a smoothie or something." I suggested, taking the cart from her. "You have plenty of time to get this all together."

"Okay," She nodded as I pushed the cart to check-out. We got everything paid for and bagged and headed out to my car. We loaded the bags in the car and went out in search of a place to get a good smoothie.

"Wanna go mini-golfing?" I laughed as we drove passed a small course.

"Always," She giggled as we turned onto another street. We found a DQ-Orange Julius down the street from the court and I found a parking spot.

"Whatever you want, it's on me." I winked at her as we stepped up to the register. She blushed and looked up to the menu again. We ordered and found a small table in the back of the store. She slowly sipped her smoothie, but I could tell she was distracted.

"You okay?" I asked softly as she turned to look at me. She gave me a small smile before nodding. "You're not acting like you."

"It's just becoming more real, that's all." She shrugged.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I mean, I've never been out of Forks before." She whispered. "And, I hate admitting it but...I fucking scared out of my mind, Edward."

"Hey, it's okay to be a little bit afraid."

"You weren't." She huffed.

"That's not true." I told her. "I was scared out of my mind and I almost didn't get into the car when we were driving to Chicago."

"Really?"

"Hell yeah." I laughed. "I wanted out of Forks but that didn't make moving to a big city any less scary. I knew I wanted to leave Forks, but Chicago was so different. I'd been there twice and I had no idea what to expect."

"But, what about Jasper?" She asked.

"He had nothing here, really." I explained. "He lost both of his parents, everything was a painful memory...it still is."

"But, you said everything was a painful reminder for you too?"

"It was, but not as bad." I told her. "My mom was a fucking bitch, but I never knew her. Jasper was a mama's boy and his dad was his best friend."

"Oh,"

"Yeah, he just wanted to go anywhere that wasn't Forks...he'd even live here in Port Angeles if he had to."

"Wow," She laughed. Port Angeles was better than Forks, but not by much.

"My point is, it's normal to be afraid. I'd actually be worried if you weren't scared." I laughed. "But, you're going to be a lot closer than I was."

"True," She nodded. "But, there's one thing...well two things Forks has that LA doesn't."

"What's that?"

"Dad, duh." She laughed. "And...you." She whispered and I thought my heart stopped beating. "I'm really going to miss you."

"You have no idea, Bells." I whispered as I closed my eyes, trying not to cry. She wasn't leaving for another month and a half. It wasn't time to get teary yet. I took a few deep breaths before opening my eyes again. She was smiling gently at me as she bit her lip.

It was so fucking sexy when she did that.

"I'm gonna miss you more than you even know." I whispered as I reached across the table, taking her hand.

* * *

"Well, that's it." Charlie sighed as he closed the U-Haul truck that was carrying all their things. I turned and saw Bella smiling widely as she held Rosalie on her hip. The three of them were finally heading to LA today and for the first time since moving back home, I regretted it.

I shouldn't have come back and I shouldn't have gotten so close to Bella. I was only hurting right now and I didn't like the feeling. Was it really worth is for a little hug goodbye and a phone call every now and again?

The answer was yes. Bella meant everything to me and I couldn't imagine my life without her. I couldn't imagine never meeting her, never going mini-golfing in Seattle and never seeing her sitting in the front row of one of our club gigs. She was my best friend. My first love. She was my world, even if I wasn't hers.

"Bella, thank you for everything you've done." Dad said as he walked over to her and Rosalie. "I don't know what I would have done without you helping me with this little one."

"I loved babysitting her," Bella laughed as she kissed Rosalie's cheek. "She's a sweetheart, Dr. Cullen." She smiled. "She gets that from you." She said, making dad blush. He was fucking blushing right now and I couldn't help but laugh. He was too easily embarrassed.

"Well, I think you had a little bit to do with that." He smiled and now she was the one blushing. "Come on, baby." He whispered, holding his hands out for her. I saw Bella hug her tightly and kiss her forehead before reluctantly handing her to my dad. I had a feeling she'd kidnap Rosalie if she had the chance. Dad gave her a tight hug before putting Rosalie in the car and driving away.

He had work today.

Finally, after Jake and Alice had hit the road with their families, it was my turn to say goodbye. Thankfully, Charlie excused himself into the house to go to the bathroom, leaving us alone in the yard. I walked over to her with my hands stuffed in my pocket, looking at the ground.

"Edward?" She whispered and I looked up at her, looking into her brown eyes. "Just...just hug me." She nodded as tears began spilling out of her eyes. I nodded and tightly wrapped my arms around her, burying my face into the top of her head. I felt her shaking as she sobbed and it took all the strength I had to not cry. I had to be strong for her, or I was afraid she'd never get out of the car.

"I have something for you," I whispered as I kissed the top of her head and let go of her.

"You already gave me the necklace." She argued as I jogged over to my car. I grabbed the t-shirt out of the passenger side and walked back over to her. "Your UIC shirt," She sniffled as she took it from me.

"Just so you don't forget me." I laughed as she sniffed it. I don't know why she was holding back. I knew how strongly she felt about me, but she refused to admit it. I just hoped the time apart wouldn't change anything.

"Bells?" Charlie asked, coming out of the house. She wiped her face and turned to face him. "I'm really sorry, but we gotta go. It's a long drive."

"Yeah," She nodded as he got into his car. I pulled Bella into me again and gave her another tight squeeze.

"Hey, LA is awesome." I told her. "I'm sure I'll be making an appearance." I told her, making her laugh. "Plus, Jasper is all over Alice so he's going to need a road trip buddy."

"OKay, I'm going to make sure you keep that promise." She said. "Bye, Edward."

"Nah." I smiled "I'll just see you later." She nodded and made her way over to the passenger side. Charlie started the car and backed out of the driveway and began driving down the road. I sat down in the spot the car had just been parked in and brought my knees to my chest.

I didn't think I'd ever have a broken heart.


	13. This Clock

**Chapter Thirteen: This Clock**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"Is this your boyfriend?" My roommate, Kate, asked. Alice and I decided that for the full college experience, we wouldn't be roommates. We were close, she was three doors down, but it was still weird. Alice was the only person I had sleepovers with. Not that this was a sleepover, but it was kind of the same thing. I looked at the picture she was holding and smiled.

It was Edward and I on graduation day.

"No, just a friend." I smiled. It had only been three days since leaving Forks and I missed him like crazy. We talked every night, but it wasn't the same thing. I was just happy Alice was with me because I don't think I'd be able to function if she wasn't close.

"I wish I had _just a friend_." She laughed. "Have you seen the look he's giving you?" She asked. Kate was a beautiful a beautiful blonde with piercing blue eyes. She looked like a model and made Alice look frumpy...and Alice was the prettiest girl in our class. But, she was probably the nicest person I'd ever met and I had a feeling we'd be good friends.

"No, really. We're _just friends_." I told her as she put the picture down.

"Okay, Bella." She giggled as she began hanging a poster of Venice on the wall. By the time it was dinner, we were both starving and made our way down to Alice's room to see if her and her roommate, Tanya wanted to go to dinner. I'd say Alice and I got pretty lucky in the roommate drawing because they were both very sweet girls.

Kate and Tanya were sisters, only ten months apart, but you wouldn't be able to tell by looking at them. While Kate had long, blonde hair, Tanya's was a shorter, dark brown to match her beautiful eyes. Alice and I thought they were kidding at first when they told us they were sisters, but after seeing a photo of their parents, we believed them. Kate was an exact replica of their mother while Tanya took after their father.

The four of us met Jake and his roommate, Seth, for dinner and for the first time since leaving Forks, I didn't have the need to call Edward to talk. I missed him like crazy, but I had to stop clinging to him. He was twenty-two years old. I was only going to be nineteen in September. He had his own life and was probably heading back to Chicago soon.

I had to just forget about my feelings and move on.

It was best for both of us.

The next Monday, classes started and I had something to distract me from thinking about Edward. We texted like we'd been apart for years and talked on the phone like we were a couple. But, I had to stop thinking of him. He didn't need me holding onto him.

But, every time I turned and saw a picture of us, I couldn't help but think what could have happened. What could have happened if I would have just let him in. He was an amazing kisser and he obviously cared about me. We had more than Mike and I did and...nothing but a kiss happened.

"Hi," He laughed into the phone as I walked across campus. LA was perfect. I didn't need a sweater or anything. It was so much better than Washington. It was our first Friday after classes started and Alice and I had plans with Tanya and Kate.

"Hey," I giggled. "How's Forks life?"

"I don't know," He sighed. "I'm not there right now."

"What do you mean you aren't there?" I asked. "You didn't move back to Chicago did you?"

"Turn around."

"What?" I asked, confused. "What will turning around do?"

"Just do it." He huffed, but I could hear his small laugh. I sighed and began turning around.

"Okay, I'm turning around." I sighed as I made a one-eighty. I kept turning, but I swore I saw Edward standing there so I turned back. "Edward?" I asked as I blinked.

"What, you need your eyes checked?" He asked as I ran over to him. He picked me up and spun me around as I hugged him tightly. "HI,"

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Well, it's Friday." He reminded me. "And Jasper wanted to surprise Alice."

"Those two got close fast." I smiled as he grabbed my backpack. "So?"

"So, Forks isn't as fun without you so I decided to come down with him." He said as we began walking to my dorm room. "You finished for the day?"

"Yep," I nodded. "I was gonna work on a paper for a little bit before going out with Alice, but I guess she has other plans." I laughed.

"It's Friday." He told me, laughing at the fact that I was going to work now.

"And I have a scholarship." I reminded him. "I just wanna work for an hour. You can meet my roommate. She's pretty hot."

"Eh, not interested." He shrugged and I couldn't help but wonder if that was because of me or he didn't want to be with a freshman.

"Well, she's also very sweet." I told him as we reached my building. I swiped my ID and got let in. I led Edward up the stairs and down the hallway to my room. I opened the door and saw Tanya and Kate sitting on her bed, watching TV.

"Hey, guys." I greeted as Edward placed my bag onto the bed. "This is Edward."

"Edward, huh?" Kate asked, winking at me. I think she knew he was more than a friend, but she was keeping her mouth shut. I was grateful for that.

"Yeah." I blushed. "Edward, this is Tanya and Kate. "Tanya is Alice's roommate."

"Hi, girls." He smiled and they each blushed. I rolled my eyes at him as I grabbed my English 102 material and sat down at my desk.

"You're never gonna get to do anything fun." Kate laughed as she and Tanya jumped off her bed. "She's always working hard."

"I knew she had a good excuse for avoiding me this week." He said and I just concentrated down on my notes. It wasn't a long paper that I had to write, but I wanted to show what I could do. I wanted to prove I deserved this scholarship.

"Okay, Bella Marie." Edward laughed. "It's been almost two hours. You said you'd work for an hour."

"You gave me an extra hour?" I asked as I saved my document and closed my laptop. Most people set their timer for me and made me get off exactly after an hour.

"You looked like you were concentrated." He shrugged. "I didn't wanna bother you."

"Thanks," I smiled. "Let me change and we can go." I said. I'd been up since seven thirty, I needed a change of clothes. I grabbed a black skirt and a jean button up shirt as he left the room. After I was dressed, I ran a brush through my hair and pulled my sandals on.

"Ready?" I asked as I opened the door and found him leaning against the wall. Two girls from my floor walked by and giggled as they passed Edward. I rolled my eyes at them as I closed the door.

"Yep," He smiled. "What do you wanna do tonight, Miss Bella?"

"Hmmmm, so many options."

"What were you and Alice going to do?"

"We were going to go to a party." I told him. "But, I'd rather go somewhere else if I'm with you."

"Why?"

"Because I see Alice everyday," I shrugged. "Plus, you're much too old for a college party."

"I'm only twenty-two." He argued. His birthday was in the middle of July and I threw him a huge party. He said even though he wasn't in the big city, it was the best birthday he'd had in a while.

"Still," I shrugged.

"Let's go to the beach." He suggested as we walked across campus to his car. "We can get something to eat on the way. I have a blanket in my car."

"Sounds...perfect." I sighed. A picnic at sunset on the beach with Edward...it didn't get much better. We drove to a local italian cafe, grabbed some food and headed off to El Matador Beach and found a spot int the sand.

As the night went on, my heart grew heavy. I knew what he wanted, and I knew that I wanted the same thing. But, I just couldn't do anything about that. I couldn't commit to him like he wanted me to and I wasn't going to be the girl to break his heart. So, I was keeping our friendship strong and hopefully, I'd friendzone him enough that he'd get the hint.

"Let's go take a walk." He smiled as I finished eating my pasta. I nodded as he stood up, reaching his hand out for me. He pulled me up and didn't let go of my hand as we walked down to the dense, wet sand. We walked and caught up. It was so strange. We'd only been apart for a week and a half, but people would have thought we'd been apart for months.

"Rosalie misses you." He whispered as we'd been walking for a little while. "I can tell."

"She's not even one yet, Edward." I laughed. "I doubt she even notices."

"Oh, she notices." He told me. "I can just tell."

"I miss her too." I told him. "People have actually asked me if she's mine since I have a few pictures of the two of us together in my dorm."

"I saw those." He smiled. "What do you tell them?"

"Well, I told my roommate she was mine." I laughed. "She totally believed me and I didn't tell her the truth until the next day when Alice blabbed. I wanted to see how long I could keep that going."

"And the others?"

"Just told them the truth." I shrugged. "Anyone else miss me?"

"Dad," He chuckled. "He's kind of lost right now. He can't really go anywhere but work during the day until he finds another babysitter, and honestly, he's picky as hell. I don't think he'll find one."

"What about you?"

"Do you remember the last time I was in charge of Rosalie?" He asked. And, I did. Vividly. It was the week after my dad had to arrest his dad for trying to drink and drive. "It...it wouldn't go very well."

"You're a lot better with her than you think." I whispered. "And, she adores you."

"Not as much as she adores you." He said, turning and smiling at me.

My heart still melted at that smile.

* * *

"He's the one!" Alice sang as she barged into my room that night with Tanya close behind. "Jasper Elijah Whitlock."

"Alice," I whispered since Edward was laying next to me as we watched a movie. He'd fallen asleep, but she was so damn loud I doubted he was still sleeping.

"No, I'm serious, Bells. He's perfect." She sighed as she sat down next to Kate on her bed. "Like, he's my dream guy."

"I'm gonna go find Jasper and maybe find a place to crash for the night." Edward sighed as he sighed and got out of my bed. He pulled his Vans back on and walked out of our room and I looked and saw Alice turning a bright shade of red.

"You need to scan a room before saying things like that." I laughed.

"I didn't know Edward was even here." Alice told me. "But, whatever, Jasper knows it too."

"Really?" Tanya asked. "How is he the one, Alice?"

"He just is."

"No reason at all?" Kate asked. "He's just the one?"

"Yes," She shrugged. "I can't explain it, but when I'm with him...he makes me feel like a princess. I'm special when I'm with him. He listens to me, he treats me perfectly, and to top it all off, he's amazing in bed."

"That is what Edward told me." I laughed. "But, you've known each other for a few months."

"Hey just because we don't move at snail speed like you and Edward doesn't mean we aren't perfect for each other." She argued.

"Edward and I aren't moving at snail speed." I told her. "Because we're just friends."

"Bella, you know the last time my just friend came to UCLA to surprise me and take me on a romantic beach date?" Kate asked. "Never. Nadda. Never gonna happen because I don't have _just a friend_."

"Yeah, you have Garrett." Tanya corrected. Garrett was Kate's long time boyfriend who stayed in Arizona for school.

"I'm just trying to make a point." Kate laughed. "Yeah, Garrett would do something like that. Not Marcus."

"True," Tanya nodded.

"OKay, I'm going to make this very clear." I sighed, speaking slowly so they'd be able to hear every word. "There is nothing between Edward and I. We're good friends...best friends maybe but there is nothing romantic going on between us." I said, half telling the truth. We were much more than _just friends_, but we weren't romantic about each other. "And nothing romantic will happen between us."

"Okay, Bells." Alice nodded. "Whatever you say."

"I'm not kidding."

"Sure," She winked as she turned back to Tanya and Kate to continue talking about Jasper.

I half listened to what Alice was saying, and thought about my relationship with Edward. Kate was right. There was no way Ben or Eric would come down to UCLA and take me to the beach like Edward had. But, why did we have to be dating? Why did there have to be a label? We cared about each other, that was obvious. Why did everyone care if we put a romantic title on our relationship?

I didn't understand why we were the only ones who didn't care about that kind of thing. Alice had always been more worried than Edward and I.

So, after a while of sitting with them, I grabbed my shoes and headed across campus to Jake's dorm. He'd been in a slump, being so far from Leah. She'd stayed closer to Washington and went to the University of Oregon so I knew he would be there. I was let in by someone coming home and headed up to the third floor. I knocked on the door and he opened it a lot quicker than I expected.

"What are you doing here?" He asked as he stepped aside, letting me inside.

"I just...needed a break." I sighed as I sat down. "Where's Seth?"

"With some kids in one of his classes." He shrugged. "Are you okay?"

"Why can't a guy and a girl be just friends?" I asked. "I mean, I'm just friends with you. You're just friends with Alice. Why can't I just be friends with Edward?"

"Because, Bella, you aren't just friends."

"Why does everyone keep saying that?"

"Because it's true!" He laughed. "I've never seen you act like this with anyone. Not even Mike."

"Mike was a fucker."

"He was," He agreed quickly. "But, he was the fucker that was your boyfriend. And, Edward's perfect and you're pushing him away."

"You think he's perfect?"

"Bells, I've never met anyone who treats you so well." He smiled.

"We aren't going to be a couple." I told him. "We have too good of a friendship to be a couple."

"What a lod of crap." He said. "That friendship is whats going to make your relationship better."

"Okay, I came here to get away from Alice." I rolled my eyes. "Stop it."

"I'm just being honest."

"Be honest with Leah and lie to me." I laughed.

"Fine, I'll be good." He sighed. "You and Edward have nothing. There is no chemistry and you'd make the worlds worst couple."

"Thanks," I nodded.

"Wanna watch a movie?" He asked after a few minutes. He went over and held up _Die Hard_ and I told him to put it in.

The weekend with Edward and Jasper passed by too quickly. I'd never been able to get work done with anyone before so having Edward there was an excelent treat. And, Alice was right. Jasper did treat her like fucking royalty. Even Tanya and Kate agreed and they hadn't spent the entire summer with them. I couldn't have been happier for her, especially after what Paul did to her.

But, weekends were short and before I knew it, it was Sunday night. Jasper and Alice were off somewhere groping each other, leaving Edward and I alone by his Volvo. I thanked him for the beach Friday and for letting me get my work done and he just smiled at me.

Ah, that beautiful smile.

"So, I don't think these visits are going to be too often." He sighed. "We can't afford gas to get here every weekend."

"I know, I'm just glad I got to see you." I nodded as I looked down at my shoes. "But, don't be a stranger."

"Trust me, while Jasper and Alice are having phone sex, I'm gonna need someone to help drown it out." He laughed.

"Right," I smiled as I locked eyes with him.

"Hi," He smiled.

"Hey," I whispered as he grabbed my hips and pulled me to his chest. I ran my hands up and down his stomach and starred before looking up into his green eyes again. "Hey," I whispered again as he leaned down and brushed his lips against mine.

"Okay, man." Jasper yelled as he came up from behind me, scaring us half to death and making us jump apart. "You ready to hit the road?"

"Fucking idiot." Edward growled. Jasper's eyes grew wide as he ran to the other side of the car. "See ya, Bells."

"Bye," I whispered as he got into the car and drove away.


	14. I Have Died

**Chapter Fourteen: I Have Died**

* * *

**Edward's POV**

"Dad!" I called through the house as I let myself in. He was doing a lot better and I wasn't sure if it was time to move us back to Chicago.

"Hi, son." He sighed as he came towards me, putting his jacket on and carrying his work bag. "I have a meeting and I'm late. You okay?"

"Fine, I'm just tired of that house." I laughed. "I think they're all going stircrazy and they aren't adjusting to Forks very well."

"Well, it isn't for everyone." He laughed "I shouldn't be long." He told me. "Bella's upstairs with Rosalie."

"Okay," I nodded as he grabbed his keys and rushed out the door. It was finally May and Bella was finally home for the summer. Since she was really close with Charlie and Alice missed Jasper, she made it up to Forks a lot more than I did when I moved to Chicago. She was home for Christmas and for a few random weekends as well.

I was just glad she was back for three months this time.

It had been hard without her here. Part of the reason it was so easy to adjust to Forks life again was her being here. Our tutoring sessions and swimming in the river is what made my life better. When she was around.

But, even though everything was going in the right direction, when people asked if we were an item, I still had to say no. She'd kept our relationship soley friends and I was afriad nothing was ever going to happen. So, even though she was home for the summer, was it still worth it to move home? We could be going home at the end of summer since Dad was doing a lot better than I thought he would be, but I knew were weren't.

Chicago was too far away from LA.

I walked upstairs and heard her turning Rosalie's mobile on. I stopped as I heard her footsteps getting closer and soon, she emerged from the nursery. She looked beautiful. She was in a bright, coral dress that made her body look amazing and to top it all off, she had wedges on that made her long legs even longer.

"Hi," I smiled as she looked up and saw me.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" She asked as she walked over to me.

"I was gonna see if my dad wanted to hang out, but clearly he was busy." I explained. "You look like you were going out...you didn't cancel anything did you?" I asked. She was always putting my dad and Rosalie first. I loved that about her, but sometimes I wished she'd say no and do whatever she wanted to for a change.

"No, I went out to lunch with my dad." She told me. "He was introducing me to his new...lady friend."

"Lady friend, huh?" I asked.

"Yeah, Megan. She works at the diner." She explained and I knew exactly who she was talking about. Megan was the sweetest waitresses at that diner and one of the prettiest. "He told me 'nothing is official until I meet her.'"

"So, I guess it's official." I laughed.

"So, Alice has been telling me nonstop about your music." She said. Jasper hadn't stopped talking about her or trying to see her since she left in august. I was happy he'd finally found someone special, but I wished he would know when to stop. "How's that been going?" She asked. I hadn't been talking about it much, I didn't want to jinx us.

Apparently, Jasper was okay with telling the world what we were doing.

"We just made a new demo, actually." I told her.

"Edward, that's awesome." She smiled.

"I have a copy with me, you wanna hear?" I asked.

"Of course." She smiled. I went down to my car to grab the CD and headed back into my room so we could use my old stereo. She was sitting on my bed when I got back and I had to focus very hard to do the task at hand. She looked hotter than normal in the dress she was wearing. I got the CD in and pressed play. The room filled with my band and hearing it again just made me feel so good.

"Edward, that's amazing." She gushed after the song had stopped and I'd taken the CD out of the player. "Maybe even better than your first."

"You think?" I asked. Coming from her, it meant the world to me. I looked up and down her body again and had to keep reminding myself that we were friends. For some reason, that's all she wanted and I was willing to give her what she wanted to.

No matter how hard it was.

"It's really good to see you," I smiled. I hadn't seen here since Jasper and I drove down to LA in February so Jasper could spend Valentines Day with Alice.

"Yeah," She whispered as we locked eyes. She bit down on her lip and enough was enough. We were crazy about each other and I wasn't going to hold back anymore.

"Fuck, this." I whispered as I crashed my lips into hers. She held back for a few seconds, but after a while, she gave into everything. She wrapped her hands tightly around my neck and laid down, pulling me down on top of her. I moaned into her mouth, it was amazing to kiss her again and even more amazing to be so close to her.

She tugged gently on my hair as I gently ground into her. It had never felt so good to be with anyone before and honestly, I wasn't sure how long I could hold off. I sat up without breaking our kiss and pulled her into my lap. I broke the kiss and smiled at her before kissing her forehead gently. She pulled me close to her again, but I quickly broke the kiss and moved my lips down her neck, making her tremble.

"Shit," She whispered as I sucked on her pulse point. I gently unzipped the back of her dress and pulled the sleeves of the dress down her arms. Once her arms were free, I pulled the rest of the top down, freeing her breasts. Now, I'd seen her in a swimsuit before so this shouldn't have been much different, but it so was. There was something about seeing her this way that made me want her even more.

I pushed her back down onto the bed and she thread her fingers through my hair again as I gently continued to grind into her. She grabbed the hem of my t-shirt, and pulled it up over my head. I reached around behind her and unhooked her bra. I looked into her beautiful eyes, silently asking if it was okay. She nodded and I pulled the straps down her arms, freeing her breasts.

I looked up and down and smiled up at her. She was breathtaking, not like anyone I'd ever been with. She had smaller boobs than anyone I'd been with, but she was more beautiful than all of them combind.

"You are so beautiful." I whispered, cupping her face. She blushed as she crashed her lips into mine again, pulling me back down on top of her. She continued to fist her hands in my hair before I broke the kiss and began kissing down her jaw and her stomach. I moved my mouth to her nipples and gently bit down, making her squirm under me. I heard her moan as I began to gently suck on one while I massaged her other breast with my free hand.

I pulled away and began to kiss down her stomach until I was right at her underwear line. I gently pulled them down her long legs and threw them to the floor along with her other clothes. I undid the straps on her shoes and threw them to the floor as well before I began kissing up her leg. I took my time, kissing every inch until I got to her inner thigh. I could feel her dripping, but I was going to take my time.

This was Bella after all.

I looked up, asking one last time if this is what she nodded and she smiled before biting her lip. She wanted it and this time, she wasn't holding back.

I gently swiped my tongue up her folds, making her moan loudly. I stopped at her clit and began to gently suck, and she began trembling beneath me. She fisted her hand through my hair again and I brought my free hand up to link with hers. She thread her fingers through mine as I gently pushed one finger into her tight hole. She moaned loudly and began grinding on my face. I knew it wouldn't be long, so I added a second finger and she came within seconds.

I gave her a second to recompose before kissing up her stomach again. She hitched one of her legs over my hip and began grinding hard against me, making me impossibly harder.

"God, I want you so bad." I whispered as I reached for the bedside table drawer

"Don't," she whispered.

"What?" I asked.

"I trust you."

"Bella,"

"I'm clean and on the pill." She shrugged. "And, I trust you."

"Bella," I smiled as she rolled us over so she was on top of me. She smiled as she began to kiss down my chest, stopping at my jeans. She undid my belt and zipped and pulled my jeans along with my boxers down my legs, throwing them onto the floor with the rest of our things. My cock sprang free and she gently grabbed it with her small hands. She kissed the tip before kissing back up my chest, and back to my lips again.

"You ready?" I whispered, almost too soft to hear. I didn't want her running away again.

"Yeah," She smiled and I could tell she was. This is what we've both been wanting for a while and I couldn't wait to finally be with her.

"Hi," I laughed as I cupped her face.

"Hey," She whispered as she gently lowered herself onto me. We both moaned loudly and I really wasn't sure how long I'd last. She was tight as fuck and I wanted to come right away. But, I held myself back. She'd told me about the guys she'd been with who couldn't give her what she needed and I refused to be one of the guys on that list.

"Shit, baby." I moaned as she braced herself on my chest and began bouncing up and down. I pulled her down to me and kissed her again while she continued to ride me. I grabbed ahold of her hips and took control for myself. I thrust hard and deep inside her, but we were slow about it. I took my time, kissing her and touching her all over her body.

"Edward," She moaned as I went into double time. "Fuck!" She whispered as she came again, but I wasn't finished with her yet. I flipped us over so I was on top and smiled down at her. I kissed her passionately as I entered her again and watched as she scrunched her beautiful face up. She was absolutely stunning like this and I could not even begin to describe how amazing it felt.

I laced my fingers through her as I pumped in and out of her. I'd never experienced this before. I'd never wanted to be so close to someone while having sex. Kissing was an after thought and I'd never wanted to hold hands with someone while I was fucking them. But this, with Bella, it wasn't fucking. I wasn't sure exactly what it was, but it sure as hell wasn't fucking.

"Bella," I moaned as I began to thrust hard and fast into her. She was screaming and shaking beneath me and she came again as I came inside of her. That was something new to us both I think. I'd always pulled out when I was about to come, but Bella said she trusted me. "Wow," I whispered as I kissed her again before rolling off of her. I grabbed some tissues from the table and cleaned up before pulling her close to me.

But, something was off. She wasn't happy like I thought she'd be and I eventually felt something wet dripping on my arm,

Bella was crying.

"Baby, please don't cry." I whispered, kissing her shoulder. "Please, I'm sorry."

"It wasn't bad." She assured me. "It was fucking mind blowing." She told me as I kissed her shoulder again. "But, I've never done that before."

"Yes you have."

"You know what I mean, Edward." She huffed and I did. The first time Bella and I have sex and it wasn't us fucking each other. We made love.

"So, why is that a bad thing?" I asked.

"Because, we can't be together." She told me as she rolled over to face me. "Not like that. Not in a loving way."

"Why not?"

"Because," She cried, another tear escaping. "I don't want to hurt you." She cried and suddenly, it all made sense. She was keeping me at arms length all this time for a reason.

"Bella, you could never hurt me." I whispered.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's what my dad told my mom and what your dad said to your mom." She cried. "People hurt each other, Edward. It's just nature."

"Bella,"

"The relationship I'm supposed to look up to and aspire to have was shattered years ago when my mom left." She told me. "And if someone can leave someone like my dad, then there isn't hope for anyone. My dad is the most loving person I'd ever met and she just...picked up and left."

"But, you wouldn't do that."

"You do what you're taught." She shrugged. "My mom taught me it's okay to walk away and I refuse to hurt you, Edward."

"But, I don't look up to what my birth mom and dad had." I whispered. "You know what relationship I look at when I'm thinking about you? About us?" I asked and she shrugged. "Dad and Esme's. They had the most perfect relationship and when I think about us, I think about how we're going to be like them."

"Edward, I can't."

"You have to trust me, Bella." I whispered. "Because I love you and I'm not going anywhere."

"Edward, stop."

"No, you are...the love of my life Bella." I told her. "And maybe it's crazy because we've only known each other for like...nine months, but you're the person I see myself with in twenty years." I told her. "And I'm not going to just walk away from you because love is a scary thing. You think I'm not afraid?" I asked. "Well, I'm fucking scared out of my mind, Bella.

But, it's okay." I nodded. "Because I know that as long as I'm with you...it'l be okay."

"I love you too."

"And, maybe we're crazy." I said, ignoring her. "Maybe this is just a bunch of bull and true love doesn't really exist, but I'm not going to ignore my feelings for you and I won't let you push me away anymore."

"Edward!" She cried. She cupped my face and pressed her forehead to mine. "I love you too."

"You do?" I asked, suddenly unsure of everything.

"Of course I do." She giggled. "Ever since that day in the living room, right before your dad walked in."

"The day dad got arrested." I laughed.

"Yeah," She nodded.

"I promise, I'm not going to hurt you." I whispered. "Nothing is going to happen. I'm here, all the way."

"Just...don't make a promise you can't keep." She cried.

"I would never do that." I assured her and brought her lips to mine. I pulled her even closer to me and just held her. There was a lot going on right now and I knew the only thing I could really do was hold her.

It wouldn't be easy. We both had commitment issues and she was living in LA for the next three years. Plus, I had a life back in Chicago I'd been planning to get back to when Dad was one hundred percent okay.

But, I meant what I said. She was the only person I ever wanted to be with. I wanted to wake up with her next to me, have kids with her, grow old with her. It was odd for me to say, but I wanted the stereotypical life with her. The house in the suburbs close to a big city. The playdates with Alice and Jasper's kids. The double dates with other couples.

I loved her and that's all that mattered.

She finally fell asleep in my arms and I just watched her, almost afraid she'd disappeared. I knew this wasn't a dream but I didn't want to take my eyes off her. Not yet anyway.

"I love you, Bella." I whispered, kissing the top of her head. "Always,"

"Always," She whispered in her sleep, making me smile. I brought the thicker blanket up on top of her and wrapped my arms tighter around her.

I was right where I belonged. Everything could unfold now.


	15. Together We Stand

**Chapter Fifteen: Together We Stand**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"We should get dressed." I whispered as he lazily played with my hair. "Your dad'll be home soon."

"I'm not worried." He smiled as he leaned in and brushed his lips against mine. "I could stay like this forever."

"We might get hungry." I laughed.

"I have everything I need, right here." He whispered, pressing his forehead to mine. I couldn't believe Edward and I were finally together. I know I was the one pushing him away, but this was everything I'd wanted since meeting him. I was right where I should be and I wasn't going anywhere. No more bullshit. Edward was mine and I was going to let everyone know it.

He was mine.

"Hey, kid I'm..." Dr. Cullen said as he swung the door open. My eyes went wide as I pulled the sheet further up my chest and rolled away from Dr. Cullen. I could hear Edward's snickers as the door clicked shut again. I rolled over and raised my eyebrow at him, but he only shrugged.

"He would have found out eventually."

"So would my dad." I sighed as I sat up. "That doesn't mean I want him to walk in on us."

"Dad's cool," Edward sighed as he stayed in bed while I grabbed my panties off the floor. "He gets it." I just sighed and continued to get dressed. Edward finally got out of bed as I was pulling my shoes on and grabbed his boxers and an old pair of basketball shorts from his dresser. I fixed my hair so it wasn't so crazy before he grabbed my hand and pulled me downstairs.

I ignored Dr. Cullen as best I could, but he was relentless. And, I was kind of glad. He wasn't going to make it a big, awkward thing and I had a feeling he knew this was coming. Him and Edward were even closer than Dad and I were and I knew they talked about me. I stayed for dinner before driving back home. But, Dad was out with Megan and I couldn't stop pacing.

So, I made my way over to La Push, picked Jake up before getting Alice. We got some milkshakes before making our way over to the high school track field. This is where we always came when we were actually going to school here and for some reason, we still loved it. We'd been here at least once each time we were home.

"So, why did you drag me out here?" Jake asked as he rested his head in my lap. "I mean, come on, Bells."

"Edward and I slept together." I blurted out and Jake spit out the sip he'd just taken. I looked over and Alice looked like she was about to explode with happiness. "Like, an hour ago."

"Bella!" She finally squealed. "That's...that's...well...oh my god!" I'd even gotten Alice speechless. That was a first. "Was it good?"

"It was...amazing." I sighed, thinking back. He was so gentle with me, so loving. When I thought about our first time together, it was never slow and gentle. He was always rough and it always only lasted a few minutes. But, we took our time and it was the best time I'd ever had. "We didn't fuck like I thought we would."

"What?" Jake asked. "Did you two make love or something?" He laughed, but I just bit my lip.

"Oh my god." Alice whispered. "You and Edward made love?"

"Why is that such a big deal?" I asked, even though I knew the answer. "Okay, I know why, but still. Why is it so shocking?"

"Because, you're Bella and he's Edward." Jake shrugged. "You two have big commitment issues and you're always the one who is one and done."

"Edward's different." Alice told him.

"He told me he loved me." I whispered and it was a good thing Jake hadn't taken a sip of his milkshake because I was sure he'd spit that out too. "When we were done and I was trying to push him away again...he told me he was in love with me."

"Bella," Alice sighed as she placed her hand on her heart. It was like we were watching Titanic again or something. "Did you tell him?"

"Yeah...I did." I smiled.

"You and Edward?" Jake asked and I smiled.

"Yeah,"

"Well damn." He laughed. "It's about fucking time."

"Yeah, it is." I agreed as he wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

* * *

"So, what now?" I asked Edward as we sat on my porch swing the next week. Charlie had an early shift this morning so I snuck Edward in after he'd gone to bed and hid him in my bathroom until he was gone this morning. We'd only been together for a day, but it was like we'd been together for years. It was just so easy being with him. And, Jake was right. Our friendship only made this relationship stronger.

"What do you mean?" He asked as he played with my hair. He did that a lot when we were together.

"I mean, I'm going back to LA in August." I shrugged. "And, you have a life in Chicago."

"Well, Chicago isn't as good for musicians as LA is." He told me and I turned to face him. "I talked to the guys last night and they agreed with me."

"About what?" I asked excitedly.

"That it's time to move to LA." He smiled and I screamed as I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck. "I'm not leaving you to go back to Chicago. Plus, I wanna be closer to Dad and Rosalie...without actually living in Forks." He explained. "I think Dad is well enough to get by, but I know I have to stay close."

"You're coming to LA with me?"

"Yeah, baby. I'm coming with you." He smiled as he pressed his lips to mine.

"Okay, but I have some conditions." I told him once I'd pushed him away.

"Conditions?"

"Yes, conditions." I told him and he nodded. "I want you to go back to school."

"Bella,"

"Hear me out." I said. "You are too smart to be a college drop out. And, what if the reason you thought school wasn't for you was because UIC wasn't your school? What if UCLA or USC is your school?" I asked. "I want you to be more than a hot guy with a band. I want the whole package."

"You're asking a lot, Bella." He sighed. "I haven't been in school for two years."

"So, you haven't taken a Calc class in forever and you tutored my way to a five on the AP exam."

"That was different."

"I'm not asking you to go back to school and become a doctor like you were planning." I sighed. "I just think you're benefit from going back and getting your degree." I explained. "You could go for business or economics. You could go for something to do with music." I told him. "Please?"

"You really want this?" He asked, sounding like he was going to give in.

"I really do." I shrugged. "And not just for me, but for you too." I smiled. "Don't you wanna tell our kids one day about how you went back to school after time off? You could be a real inspiration to them."

"Our kids?" He smiled and I bit my lip, realizing what I'd said.

"I mean kids you might have one day." I babbled.

"I like the sound of that. Our kids." He smiled as he kissed my cheek. "I'll look into it."

"Yay,"

"But, I'm not promising anything." He told me sternly and I nodded. Maybe college just wasn't for him, but I didn't want him to regret anything. "Any other conditions?"

"I don't think so." I laughed as he rolled his eyes at me.

"You give me headaches." He smiled as he leaned in and kissed me again.

* * *

Being with Edward that summer was an absolute dream. He was everything I'd ever imagined he'd be an more. He was thoughtful, caring, good in bed, and to make everything better, he truly loved me. He was protective of me without being annoying like Mike had been. He made sure people knew I was his by holding my hand, but he wouldn't hold me to his side everyday.

And, he was always putting me first. If we were watching a movie while I was watching Rosalie, he'd get up to get her and wouldn't make me get up to go upstairs. He always opened doors for me and brought me home stupid things like a single flower or a balloon he'd gotten at the summer festival. He even let me have the last slice of pizza multiple times.

I didn't think life could actually be this good with him.

But, he was keeping his promise. It was so obvious how much he loved me. Charlie wasn't even the least bit surprised the first time I introduced him as my boyfriend. The only thing he said was 'it sure did take you two long enough' which, I was thankful for.

Alice and Jasper also grew impossibly closer. It was funny how they'd only known each other a few weeks before they started dating and they already loved each other just as much as Edward and I did. I couldn't have been happier for her too. Jasper was an amazing guy, almost better than Edward sometimes. I could see with one single look how much he loved her.

Jake decided Leah was the one he wanted to be with and proposed on the Fourth of July. The whole town was in on it. He made it clear no one was to be on the lake when the fireworks were supposed to go off so he could be alone with her. She said yes of course and the fireworks went off right as he slid the ring on her finger. It was the most amazing, romantic thing I'd ever seen and both Alice and I were in tears as we watched them from the woods.

They knew the wedding wouldn't happen until they'd been out of school for at least a year, especially since Leah wasn't at UCLA with us. But, Jake told us it didn't matter how long they had to wait, he just wanted to know they had a future together. He was a like a little kid on Christmas morning. He was so damn happy for the rest of the summer and he made sure he showed the ring to literally everyone in town.

But it was finally the end of August and it was time to head back to LA. With Edward and Jasper coming along, neither of us were dreading the trip anymore and my chest didn't feel like it was being crushed as we loaded the UHaul up.

Edward had been accepted to USC and decided that was the school he wanted to go to. I was a little upset we wouldn't be in classes together, but I was just glad he'd found a school he wanted to go to. He was going back to school and he wasn't dreading it and he didn't resent me at all. Plus, Dr. Cullen was so thrilled that he was going back to school, he'd bought him a small apartment right in the middle of the two schools.

"You ready to be a college kid again?" I asked as I hugged him before we got into his car to make the drive.

"I think I can handle it." He sighed. "It'll be weird though."

"What?"

"Being twenty-three and having class with a bunch twenty year olds."

"Some might be twenty-one." I laughed. "You'll be fine. You'll show everyone just how smart you really are."

"Yeah, sure." He laughed as he kissed my forehead and let go. He walked over to my door and opened it for me before getting into the drivers side. The drive was long and we had to stop overnight, but it was worth it. I'd almost forgotten how amazing LA while I was in Forks. And the fact that Edward was here made everything better.

Since we'd gotten there a day early, and Jake had stayed in Forks with Leah for one last night, we decided to park to UHaul in the motels parking lot and the four of us headed to the beach. The guys dug out some beach towels while Alice and I headed to the store to buy sandwich supplies and drinks. By the time our feet was in the sand, the sun was setting.

"This seems quite familiar." Edward sighed as I settled in between his legs after making everyones sandwiches.

"Yeah," I whispered as I kissed his hand before giving him his turkey club. It was amazing how easily the four of us got along. It was like we'd known each other our entire lives. Jasper was treating me like he treated Edward and Edward was already in love with Alice. If he hadn't told me he loved me, I'd say Jasper had some competition. I wasn't worried though, I trusted them, but people tended to fall for Alice very easily

* * *

"I'm so happy for you," Tanya sighed as we ate dinner the week classes had started. Alice and I were creatures of habit and stuck with Tanya and Kate. But, this year I was rooming with Tanya and she had Kate. It was a good system.

"Yeah, I'm just glad it finally happened." Kate laughed.

"You're telling me." Alice sighed as she shook her head. I flung some carrots at her and tried to ignore them. It was like I had fallen in love with Channing Tatum or something.

"Is he good?" Tanya asked.

"Tanya!" I hissed. "Yeah, he really is." I finally told them after they'd stared me down.

"You're being safe?" Kate asked. She'd always been the mama bear of the four of us and I had to smile at her question. No one had really ever asked me that...even Alice.

"Yeah," I told them. "I got checked after I was with Mike, and I've been on birth control for years."

"But, has he been checked?" Alice asked, suddenly sounding concerned. "I mean, he wasn't exactly a virgin, Bells."

"Yes, we were both checked after we had sex the first time." I sighed. I know I said I trusted him, and I did. But God only knew who he'd been with before. "We're clean."

"Good," Tanya and Kate laughed together.

Being at UCLA wasn't a burden anymore. Last year I'd been so caught up in missing Edward and wondering if we'd ever be together. But now, knowing he was mine and he was in LA it made everything easier. I was able to concentrate better and I got things done faster, knowing he was waiting for me. It also helped to have my math tutor back with me because Calc 2 last year had been a real struggle.

He decided to change his major to business. He planned to be the bands maneger when they were done and I knew he was going to do so well. It was a broad enough degree that when the band was over, he still had something to fall back on, but it still allowed him to do what he loved. I saw him once a week for lunch and I tended to stay over on the weekends and that was enough for me.

I could be with him on the side of a road in a ditch and be happy.

As long as he was with me, everything would slowly fall into place.

"Where are we going again?" I asked as Edward drove and I was blindfolded. He knew how much I hated surprises, they never turned out like you planned and someone always got fucked over. And most of the time, I was that person. But, he kept telling me I had to trust him so I had to just take a deep breath and do that.

"Trust me," He sighed again. Finally, after twenty minutes, he stopped the car and helped me out. He guided me to where I needed to be and took off the blindfold. "So?"

"What are we looking at?" I asked after I looked around. It was just one big room and there was nothing inside.

"The bands new rehearsal space slash recording studio." He smiled and I just looked at him. "Dad bought it for us."

"So, this is your place?"

"Yes." He smiled. "Dad told me he didn't want me giving up on my dream and he thought we'd need a good space to rehears and record so he came down with me over the summer when we were looking for apartments and looked at some places. This is the one the band and I liked best."

"But, how's it going to be a recording studio?"

"It won't be anything professional, just enough stuff to get us a demo every now and then." He said. "You like?"

"Yeah," I nodded. I still didn't get why he'd brought me here. "But, why do you wanna know if I like it?"

"We're a team." He sighed as he came and rested his hands on my hips. "What's mine it yours."

"You act as if we're already married." I smiled, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"We will be," He smiled and I got goosebumps just thinking about it. It was fast, but the way I felt wasn't going to change. I knew a proposal was coming, I just didn't think it'd be very soon. "Plus, someone is going have to put it together."

"You want me to decorate it?" I asked.

"You and Alice." He smiled, pressing his lips to mine.


	16. Know I'm Dreaming

**Chapter Sixteen: Know I'm Dreaming**

* * *

**Edward's POV**

**Two Years Later**

"Hey, cutie." I whispered as I opened the door to Rosalie's room. It was hard to believe she was turning four in a week and I was trying hard not to think about it. She rolled over and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, but quickly perked up when she saw me. She held out her arms for me and I picked her up, pulling her out of her bed.

"Why are you here?" She asked as we sat down in the rocking chair that was still in her room from when she was a baby. Sometimes when it was just the two of us, I still rocked her to sleep. "You're supposed to be away."

"I came back." I smiled as she snuggled closer to me.

"Bella?" She asked.

"No, Bella stayed with Alice and Jasper down in LA." I whispered. "Where's Daddy?"

"Sleeping." She giggled. I sat with Rosalie for another half hour, playing Barbie's with her until I heard the water in my dads bathroom. I told her to set up our tea party as I stood up to go to see my dad. I walked into his room and smiled all the pictures that were on the wall. For a while, he'd covered the ones of him and Esme up, and I was glad to see he'd finally taken the paper off.

"What are you doing here?" He asked after he'd gotten out of the shower. "I thought you and Bella weren't coming back until Rosalie's birthday."

"Bella isn't here." I told him. "Just me. And, I had to talk to you."

"About what?" He asked as he pulled out one of his work shirts.

"This is something that should be talked about over breakfast or something."

"Okay, well I don't have any patients this morning, I can call and tell them I'm going to be late." He told me and I nodded. I left him to get dressed and went to have a quick tea party with Rosalie. Dad came in to get her ready for preschool and I headed downstairs to put her toast in the toaster and pour her _Lucky Charms_.

"Thanks, Edward!" She squealed happily as she took a big mouthful of marshmellows. Once she was finished, Dad finished getting her ready and put her in her car seat, telling me he wouldn't be long. He was quick and by the time he'd gotten home, the eggs were ready.

Being with Bella was great for so many reasons, but one of the best things about her were her cooking lessons. Now, I couldn't make a good duck or anything yet, but I could handle most breakfast foods.

"So, what was so important it was deemed a breakfast conversation?" Dad laughed as he sipped his coffee. I put my fork down and took a deep breath. "Wow, this is really serious, is everything okay? Are you okay?"

"Never better, Dad." I told him honestly. I had just graduated from USC in May and the band was thriving. Bella was working on her last year of school and we had moved in together last year. Our lives were perfect down in LA. "But, I needed to talk to you about something."

"What's up?"

"I want to ask Bella to marry me." I sighed and he smiled so wide I thought his mouth might fall off. "But, I don't know how to pick out a ring or how to do it or when to do it."

"Hold on." Dad said abruptly, leaving me at the table after telling him one of the most important things of my life.

"Okay!" I called as he ran upstairs. I finished the eggs and began to clean up as he came back downstairs. I turned around and he was holding a black, velvet box. "Dad, this is very sweet, but I love Bella. Thanks for asking though."

"You're an idiot." He laughed as he opened the box.

"It's beautiful, but it doesn't change anything." I laughed.

"This was Esme's ring." He sighed and the room went dead silent. "And, I want you to have it. For Bella."

"Dad, no." I shook my head. "You should keep this. I'll find a ring."

"I know you will, but..." He took a deep breath. "It isn't doing any good just sitting in my drawer. I want Bella to have it. Plus, it'll be so much nicer to propose with this rather than some ring you just found in a store." He told me. "Esme loved Bella," He whispered sadly. "And if she were here, she'd probably pull this off of her finger so you could propose to her with it."

"Are you sure?"

"I love Bella too." He smiled as he looked down at the ring. "She's just as much of a daughter to me as Rosalie is. And, I wouldn't want her to be wearing anything else."

"It's beautiful." I smiled, looking closer at the ring. I'd never paid close attention to it until now. It had a big fucking diamond in the middle with multiple little ones surrounding it. "Thanks, Dad."

"Well, thank you too, Edward."

"Why are you thanking me?"

"Because, you sacrificed a lot to come back to Forks and I know how much you didn't like it here." He whispered. "But, you came here and took care of me and Rosalie until I was back on my feet. Not a lot of parents have a child that amazing."

"You're my dad." I shrugged. "It's what every kid should do for their parent."

"Well, not many think like that." He whispered as he put the box in my hand. "So, how do you wanna do it?"

"We met right outside of Rosalie's room so I was thinking there." I sighed. "She isn't a person who likes a big fuss to be made. She's a simple girl."

"I think that's perfect." He smiled.

"How'd you propose to Esme?" I asked. I had a general idea, but he'd never told me the story.

"We'd been living together for years and I surprised her with breakfast in bed. And then all of her friends took her to Port Angeles for a girls day. Took her to a spa and a salon and they went shopping together. She was expecting a thing when she got home." He smiled. "When she got home, I asked if she wanted to make milkshakes so we went into the kitchen together. And, you remember our first date, right?"

"Yes I do." I laughed. It was a disaster and he told me for days she'd never want to go out with him again.

"Well, I pressed the button to start the blender without putting the lid on, sending milk and ice cream everywhere." He laughed. "Like our first date." He smiled. "Anyway, while she was turned to get a towel to clean up the mess, I got the ring out of my pocket and got down on one knee."

"You and I think a lot a like, dad." I sighed.

"Yeah, so I think Bella will like this a lot more than a fireworks display." He smiled.

* * *

"So, what was so important you had to cancel practice and drag me all the way up here for?" Jasper asked the day after I got the ring. With Alice and Bella being practically sisters, our friendship got stronger. Jasper had always been my best friend but now that we were dating best friends I knew I would die to protect him. We were that close.

"I'm glad you asked." I smiled as I pulled the box out of my jacket pocket, opened it and set it down on the table.

"Damn," He laughed as he took the ring from the box. "That's some rock."

"It was Esme's." I smiled. "Dad gave it to me."

"You're proposing?" He asked, sounding too shocked.

"Why else would I have the ring?"

"I don't know." He shrugged. "You're selling it to get money to buy another ring."

"You're a moron." I sighed. "Yes, I'm proposing to Bella with it. Dad wanted her to have it."

"Wow," He whispered. "That's...that's awesome of him."

"He told me he'd rather have it being used by her than to be sitting in his dresser." I explained. "You think she's gonna say yes, right?"

"No, Edward." He sighed, putting the ring back. "She's going to say no so she can be with her new biker boyfriend Julio." He rolled his eyes. "Of course she's going to say yes!"

"So, when are you gonna pop the question?" I asked. I always thought he'd propose to Alice before I even thought about proposing to Bella. Honestly, I thought they would be married by now.

"I don't know," He shrugged. "We're happy together, why rush things?"

"You don't have to rush anything," I told him. "But, you two have been together longer than Bella and I."

"Only by a few months." He corrected me. He wasn't telling me something, but I wasn't going to push him. Jasper was a guy who would tell you what was on his mind, you just needed to give him space. "It's just...hard."

"What is?"

"Thinking about getting married without my parents there." He whispered, looking like he was on the verge of tears. He could be Alice's boyfriend because he'd had a girlfriend when his parents were alive. It wasn't anything different. But, to be someones fiance and then husband was new territory for him and I didn't realize how hard this was for him to cope with. "I always thought they'd be there."

"They will be," I told him. "I'm not a super religious person...you know that. But, I believe Esme is with my dad everyday. I have to believe that because without that thought, I don't know if I could watch him move on."

"Plus, when my mom died, I thought she would have left her ring for me to use." He shrugged. "But, it's no where in the house and it wasn't in her will...I can't remembered if she was buried with it."

"You're sure it isn't in the house?" I asked and he nodded. "Did you try the bank?" I asked. "Most people don't leave a fucking diamond ring laying around the house."

"The bank though?"

"That's where Dad keeps a lot of Esme's really good stuff." I shrugged. "And dad was your legal gaurdian, I'm sure he could get you in."

"Okay," He nodded, looking like he was already feeling better.

Turns our, Dad did know where his mothers ring was. He took Jasper to the bank and got it out of their lockbox. Heading back to LA was very odd. We were two guys getting ready to propose to the loves of our lives. When I look back at high school and the first two years of college, I never would have thought we'd end up here.

But, I couldn't have been happier with how far we'd come.

To keep Bella from suspecting something, Jasper said it was okay to tell her he was proposing to Alice. She really had no clue what I had planned. She went shopping with Alice for the perfect dress to where on their date and couldn't keep still for the entire week after Jasper and I got back from Forks.

Jasper had a completely different plan for proposing. He was pulling out the romance and he was going to the moon and back to make sure it was perfect. Since they fell in love on the road to Seattle for our big break in Washington, he was using the band to propose. He planned an entire set of their songs and booked us at a small LA nightclub.

After our first set, he pulled Alice up on the stage and got down on one knee as the rest of us played their song _Lucky_ by Jason Maraz.

"Jasper," She whispered as he got down on one knee. It took all I had not to fucking cry.

"I love you Alice Brandon." He cried. "And I wanna be the man you wake up next to every morning and I want you to be there with me everyday...forever." He said as he pulled the ring from his jacket pocket and opened the box. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes!" She screeched before he'd even finished his question. He slid the ring onto her tiny finger and pulled her up so he could kiss her. I looked over at Bella, sobbing as she clapped for them.

Bella had no clue what was coming at Rosalie's birthday party.

* * *

"You like this?" Bella asked as we packed. I looked up from my laptop and smiled at her. She looked good in everything of course, but I sure loved when she wore dresses.

"I love it." I smiled at her before looking back at my computer. She moved in with me the beginning of my senior year and the beginning of her junior year. It was fast, but we were in love. It wasn't hurting anyone and it sucked being away from her all week since we were at different schools.

She finished up packing and I called the cab. Since we'd just gotten back to LA, dad agreed to fly us back to Washington for Rosalie's party. I would have driven, but dad told us it wasn't a problem and booked us our flight.

"Bella!" Rosalie yelled as we got out of the cab. I was convinced Rosalie liked my girlfriend more than me, but Bella was more of a big sister. She'd been there for literally everything and I knew their connection was strong.

"Rosa!" She smiled as she kneeled down and held her arms out for Rosalie. She came running into Bella, nearly knocking her over. "You're getting...so big." Bella laughed as she picked Rosalie up. "Happy almost birthday, baby."

"Thanks!" Rosalie squealed. "Come on! You gotta see the cake daddy got me!" She yelled as Bella set her back down and grabbed her arm, pulling her into the house. Since Rosalie was dad's last baby and only girl, he spoiled her rotten. She didn't have anything she didn't need like a Wii or a horse, but the parties he planned for were unbelievable.

I was a little jealous.

I followed them into the house and went into the kitchen. This year, Rosalie had chosen Monsters University as her theme and the house was full of Mike balloons and Sully plates and cups. The cake was amazing. The round base looked like Sully's fur and Mike was perched on top. My sister was a lucky little girl.

"Wow, it is cool, Rosalie." Bella gushed as Rosalie climbed onto one of the kitchen stools.

"I know!" She smiled. "I'm just upset cause I gotta wait til tomorrow to eat it."

"I'm sure it'll be just as good."I piped in.

"Hello!" Dad called as he came into the kitchen, buttoning his shirt. Bella went over and hugged him before Rosalie ran into his arms. He picked her up and kissed her cheek while she touched her small hand to his face. I couldn't believe how well my dad was doing raising her alone. I know he raised me, but girls were different and my birth mom hadn't died.

It was a different situation completely.

But, Dad was thriving and Rosalie was his little princess. I couldn't help but smile as she played with his damp hair. The way he looked at her made me wonder what I'd be like as a father.

After Rosalie had dragged Bella into her room for a tea party, I went into the bathroom and splashed my face with water. This was it. This was the moment our future would be determined. Yes or no. Either of her answers would change my life forever. I walked out of the bathroom and gave dad a nod and smile as he went and knocked on Rosalie's door.

He pulled Rosalie out of the room to go downstairs for lunch and Bella stayed behind to clean up a bit. I looked in the room and smiled as she put the teapot in its right place and knew she was going to be an amazing mom. It was almost hard to believe Rosalie wasn't actually her child. She finished cleaning up and came out to meet me.

"Ready for lunch?" She asked. She had no idea what I was about to do.

"Yeah, but hold on a sec." I sighed as she looked up to me. She looked confused and I took another deep breath, shoving my hands in my pocked, making sure I had the ring. It was there. "I love you,"

"I love you too." She smiled, leaning up and pressing her lips to mine.

"And, I'm always going to love you." I whispered as I pulled the box out of my pocket. I knelt down on one knee and opened the black box and heard her gasp. "And I know that as long as we're together, everything is going to be okay. No matter what comes our way, if I have you...I know I can handle it. I don't want to be with anyone else but you, Bella." I smiled and I saw a tear streaming down her face. "Will you marry me, Bella Marie?"

"Yes," She said without hesitation. I bowed my head in relief before taking the ring from the box and sliding it onto her finger. It fit perfectly. I stood up and kissed her passionately as she continued to cry. "I love you so much."

"I love you more than you'll ever know." I smiled as I pressed my forehead to hers.

"It's beautiful," She whispered as she looked down at the ring. I kissed her again before pulling her into a tight hug.

"It was Esme's." I told her and she pulled away, giving me a confused look. "My dad wanted you to have it."

"What?"

"He said you're as much of a daughter to him as Rosalie and that Esme would want you to have it." I explained and another tear escaped. I gently wiped it away and kissed the top of her head. "You like it?" I asked, suddenly unsure.

"I love it." She nodded, finally looking back up at me.


	17. Side by Side

**Chapter Seventeen: Side by Side**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"You're gonna be my sister?" Rosalie squealed after we told everyone about our engagement. I felt kind of bad for making her birthday party about us, but she was too excited to even notice. "I'm so happy!" She smiled as she jumped up into my arms. I wrapped my arms tightly around her and hugged her.

This was as close to perfection as I'd ever been.

"Carlisle?" I asked after Rosalie had gone back to the excitement. He turned and gave me a soft smile before hugging me. "Thank you so much."

"For what, dear?" He asked, trying to sound nonchalant about everything.

"The ring." I whispered. "Edward said it was Esme's."

"Esme would want you to have it." He sighed. "And, I want you to have it. It's too special to me to be sitting in a box for the rest of my life. I couldn't have asked for a better daughter." He smiled and I felt my eyes filling with tears. I loved my Dad, but he always felt like a best friend. Carlisle felt like a father to me and the only thing I could think of was to wrap my arms tightly around his waist.

"Thanks again." I smiled after I'd let go. I eyed Edward across the room near the back door. He smiled at me and nodded his head for me to follow him. I dashed over to him, kissed him, and grabbed his hand as he pulled me outside. "Where are we going?"

"I thought we'd go down by the river to have some alone time." He smiled. "A bunch of four year olds running around is not my cup of tea...not after proposing to you anyway." He said. "Our kids are gonna be perfect though."

"One step at a time, buddy." I giggled as he laid a blanket down on the dirt floor. He sat down and I sat in between his legs as we looked out at the river. I was still processing that I was going to marry Edward. When we first met, I knew he was special, but I just couldn't understand why. And then, after Mike, I wasn't sure I'd ever want to be with someone ever again. I had trust issues and I feared abandonment.

But, with the ring on my finger, I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. He was the person I could tell anything...I could tell him things I couldn't even tell Alice. He really was my one and only and I almost wanted to just go to City Hall tomorrow with Carlisle and my dad to just get married.

However, I knew Alice would kill me so I kept my mouth shut. If I said anything like that, Edward would go with it and we'd be married by the end of the weekend.

"I'm so glad it was you." Edward whispered after we'd been silent for a while. I turned my head and kissed his neck before turning away again.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"I mean, I'm so glad Esme called you to babysit Rosalie." He whispered as he stroked my arm. "She could have gotten anyone of the girls in town but she chose you."

"Yeah, Dad kinda volunteered me." I laughed.

"Still, I'm glad it was you."

"Me too." I whispered as I turned his arms so I was facing him. I placed my hands on his shoulder and pressed my forehead to his. "I love you."

"I love you." He said gently as he pulled away and gripped my chin. He gently pulled me to him, pressing his lips to mine. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck and wiggled into his lap. He tugged on my hair as I pushed him down to the forrest floor. "Bella," He moaned as I began to gently grind on him. I could feel him through his pants and it only turned me on more.

"No one's gonna come down." I whispered. "They have cake and a bouncy house." I told him and he didn't argue with me anymore, he just kissed me again. He reached for the zipped on my dress and pulled it down, exposing my naked back.

"Are...are you not wearing a bra?" He asked as he ran his fingers up and down my back, giving me goosebumps.

"It's built into the dress." I shrugged as I kissed down his neck. I could feel him beginning to shake beneath me and I smiled knowing I still had that power over him after all these years. I pulled his shirt up over his head and threw it down beside us. He grabbed my hips, making me squeal as he rolled us over so he was on top.

"I love you," He whispered again as he kissed my neck again. I tugged at his hair as he began kissing down my chest, finding my breast through the dress I was still wearing. He pulled the dress down, revealing my naked breasts and licked his lips hungrily. I smiled at him as he came back up and cupped my face and he leaned in and brushed his lips against mine.

"I love you too." I whispered as he cupped my breast with his free hand and gave it a light squeeze, making me squirm under him. He brought his lips down to my nipped and began to suck and I thought I'd explode. I could feel myself getting wetter as he worked his magic. We had a lot of sex, but it still didn't change how good we were together. It wasn't just me or him, we were a team and we were fucking awesome.

"Edward," I gasped as he bit down on my sensitive nipple. I released his hair and grabbed the edge of the blanket tightly in my hands. "Please,"

"Please, what?" He asked, his voice low and dark.

"Please, just...fuck me." I whispered. I saw him smile as he kneeled and undid the button to his jeans. He slid them down his legs along with his boxers and his cock sprang free. I smirked at him as he came back down and kissed me again. He reached down and tore my panties, surprising me but I had no time to react because he slammed into me.

"Fuck!" I screamed and I buried my face in his neck. I didn't want to give anyone any suspicions and come down here. He pounded into me hard, but it was still slow. Don't get me wrong, we fucked. A lot. But, we also made love a lot too and sometimes, that was even better. I pushed on his chest to roll him onto his back so I'd be on top again.

He smiled up at me as I pressed my hands on his chest to give me support. I smiled at the diamond sparking in the little bit of sunlight getting through the trees and leaned over to kiss him. It didn't take long before I was shaking and he rolled me over again to thrust one last time.

"Fuck! Edward!" I moaned as I came hard. He wasn't far behind me and he fell limp on top of me. I played lazily with his hair as he caught his breath again and kissed the top of his head. "Love you."

"I love you." He whispered as he lifted his head and kissed me softly. Some people might say we said 'I love you' too often and even Alice said how much we said it was weird. But, it took us so long to get to that point we never wanted each other to forget it. No matter what we were doing or what was going on in our lives, we loved each other. And, I needed to be reminded. Looking back, I didn't hear my parents say it a lot and maybe if they said it more, their marriage could have been sparred.

"We should get back." I whispered. "Rosalie's gonna start asking for us and then someone will come down."

"Yeah, we don't want that." He smiled as he got up and found his boxers on the floor.

"You owe me a pair of panties." I smiled as I pulled my dressed back up. "These were new."

"But, I like you without underwear better." He winked as he pulled his shirt over his head. "But, fine. I'll get you a new pair when we get home."

"That's all I ask." I laughed as he grabbed my hips and pulled me into him. He gave me one more kiss before threading his fingers between mine and pulling me up towards the house.

* * *

After the weekend in Forks, it was time to head back to LA. When I met Edward, I never imagined this. I didn't think I wanted the ring or the family. Not after Mom left. But, when I was with him, it was like we were completely different people. We didn't have Mommy issues anymore and we were just...us.

Just Edward and Bella.

"I wanna wait until I'm graduated." I told him after we'd gotten back to the apartment. "I just want to focus."

"That's fine," He grinned as he leaned in and kissed my forehead. "I want you to focus too. Plus, we got engages like...a day ago." He laughed. "I wasn't thinking we'd get married tomorrow."

"I know, but some people don't like long engagements."

"I want you to be ready when we get married." He whispered. "I don't want you thinking about a paper that's due or an exam you have coming up while we're on our honeymoon."

"I love you," I sighed. "You know that?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

"I think so." He smiled down at me as he leaned in and gently pressed his lips to mine.

"Did Jasper know?" I asked after we'd eaten a quick dinner and were laying in bed together. "About you proposing?"

"He sure did." He laughed. "He was going to propose to Alice anyway, he just didn't think it'd be that grand. He did it like that to throw you off a little." He shrugged. "Plus, you know Alice. Everything she does is grand so he felt obligated."

"Thank you for keeping it low key." I whispered. I thought what Jasper did for Alice was absolutely amazing, but it felt much more special in the hallway at Carlisle's house. It was just us. It was perfect.

"I know you," He shrugged. "And...you don't like being the center of attention." He smiled. "Plus, I wanted to have some time with you before we started telling everyone."

"It was perfect." I smiled as he reached over and turned the light off.

* * *

"Holy shit!" Alice giggled as I showed her the ring. I called her immediately after he proposed and although I was very informed of Jasper's proposal, Alice had no idea. She was silent at first before screaming into the phone. "It's huge!"

"Being a doctor had it's benefits." I smiled. "This was Esme's ring."

"Really?" She asked as she gave me a soft smile. "She's happy. She's smiling." Alice assured me and I had to stop myself from shedding a tear. I knew Esme was happy, but I just wished she was here with us.

But, as horrible as it sounds, if she hadn't died...Edward and I probably wouldn't be engaged right now. We bonded while Carlisle laid in bed, grieving. He moved back to Forks to be with his dad after her death. I'll always miss her, but maybe there was a bigger picture to her death.

Maybe there was a God and this was all apart of his plan.

I'd never know. But, I did know that I had a wonderful fiancee and I couldn't wait until the day we said 'I do' even if that was a year from now.

"I can't believe is." Alice gushed as we finished our coffee and made our way back outside. "The three of us...we're all engaged." She squealed. "Even Jake who I never thought would actually commit."

"He's been in love with Leah for as long as I can remember..." I laughed.

"Yeah, but..."

"If anything I had an idea he'd be the first of us to get married."

"Shut up, Bella." She sighed. We walked around campus for a while until she had another class and I had to get to the library to study. Our weekend was over and it was time for reality again. But, not as I went to class and got closer to graduating, I got closer to marrying Edward.

The sooner I got everything done on campus, the sooner I got to go home and see him.

So, I studied for my Economics exam and by the time I was done, he was already home from rehearsal.

The band had really soared. They hadn't been truly _discovered_ yet, but they were getting there. Going back to school benefitted the band more than hurt it...but Edward would never admit that. They were playing bigger venues and their publicist was getting them noticed more and more.

I couldn't have been more proud of him.

When I walked through the door to our apartment, I couldn't help but smile as I saw him sitting at the kitchen table, his guitar in one hand and a pen in the other. His notebook was set on the table and there was a pot of water boiling over. He tried so hard to cook for me, but he wasn't very good at paying attention.

"Hey, babe." I whispered, making him jump. He looked up at me and smiled, putting down the guitar and walking over to me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and brought my lips to his. "Did you forget something?"

"I had a burst of inspiration." He shrugged, giving me a sheepish look. Thankfully, there wasn't anything in the water so I just turned the heat down and poured the noodles in and set a timer.

"I know, pasta gives me inspiration too." I laughed and he stuck his tongue out at me. "Can I here?"

"It's just a bunch of crap right now." He always said that, but I just went along with it. He'd play it for me when he thought it was perfect and I knew that. Now I was the first one to hear what he'd written, not Jasper. "Play it for you later?"

"As always." I smiled as I went over and stirred the pasta. He cleaned up his things and I finished getting dinner ready. The night ended like every other night.

* * *

The months slowly passed and it was finally time for Jake's wedding. Leah was able to finish school early with all her extra credits in high school and moved down to LA in February. I actually couldn't believe I was getting ready for their wedding.

When he asked her out, he was being typical Jake. He wanted to go out a few times, and fuck. That's what he did. But, he was hers the minute he picked her up for that date. I was proud of him. I knew Alice would be the first married, but I didn't think Jake would have a girlfriend long enough to fall in love with her.

"You look beautiful." Edward smiled as he stepped into the small bathroom. He came and wrapped his hands around my waist and kissed the back of my neck as I tried putting the other earring though.

"If you keep that up, we'll be late." I giggled as his hands slid onto my stomach.

"Would that be the worst thing?"

"Yes," I smiled. "Jake said if Alice and I didn't show up, he wouldn't be able to get married." I giggled. "He's nervous and we're the ones who are going to keep him calm."

"Why is he nervous?" Edward asked. "Leah's great."

"You aren't nervous at all to get married?" I asked since the plans were starting. Each night, we talked about the wedding somehow. Whether it was should we have it in LA or Forks? Or what we thought the menu should be. We didn't want to wait too long after I graduated, so things had to get done now.

"Yeah, but knowing I'm marrying you..." He whispered. "It makes marriage seem like a piece of cake."

"Well, I guess one of us has to be calm." I laughed as I walked out of the bathroom and grabbed my purse. We got into the car and drove over to the beach.

It was an absolute perfect day. It was cloudy, but the sun was peaking through all day and it didn't even sprinkle. Leah looked amazing in her simple gown and it was the first time I saw Jake cry since he was ten and his dog had to be put to sleep. I thought I'd broken Edward's hand with how hard I squeezed it during the ceremony, but I couldn't help it.

It was like watching my brother get married. I loved Leah and they couldn't have been more perfect for each other.

"May I have this dance?" Jake asked after they'd cut the cake. I looked over and saw Edward was busy with Jasper and nodded as I stood up.

"Our song." I giggled as Safe and Sound started to play. It started as a joke when we heard it on the radio when it first came out, but it stuck. We were always singing it to each other and when it was playing anywhere, we stopped and danced to it.

"What did you expect?" He giggled as he spun me around. "It's a classic."

"I'm really happy for you." I smiled as he turned and saw Leah with her mom and brother. "She's perfect."

"Tell me about it." He laughed. "I never would have even thought of asking her out if it hadn't been for you."

"Me?" I asked. "What did I do?"

"You dared me to ask the next girl I saw out on a date...and not screw her." He told me and I was completely puzzled. I don't remember it happening that way. "We were kind of drunk at a party,"

"You said..."

"Yeah, because I don't think that's very romantic." HE smiled. "But...thanks."

"Hey, she walked by at the right moment." I told him. "I had nothing to do with it."

"You did though." He insisted.

"I love you, Jake." I smiled as I kissed his cheek. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Edward standing there.

"Can I cut in?" He asked.

"Nope." Jake shrugged. "Sorry buddy, she's mine until the end of the song." He said and dragged me away.


	18. But, I Love You

**Chapter Eighteen: But, I Love You**

* * *

**Edward's POV**

"It's time!" I heard Rosalie screech as she ran around outside. "Edward! Edward it's time!" She squealed as she ran into my old bedroom. "Come on! Get up!" She demanded as she jumped on top of me. I looked at the clock and groaned. I didn't have to be up for another two hours, but Rosalie had different plans.

"Rosalie," I sighed. "I need to be well rested for the wedding today."

"But it's time!" She told me again. "Bella's gonna be my sister today!" She kindly reminded me. "And I get to be a flower girl! Come on!"

We'd asked Rosalie to be our flower girl before we even had a date picked. We knew it wouldn't be a terribly long engagement, so she wouldn't be too old by the time the day came. She screamed for days after asking her and she made it impossible to talk about anything but the wedding. But, he dream was coming true today, just like mine was. She loved Bella and all she ever wanted was to have a big sister.

"Rosalie," Dad laughed as he stood in the doorway. She'd probably woken up the entire neighborhood with her screaming. "Come on, sweetie. Let's leave Edward alone."

"But it's time!" She wined as Dad came over and picked her up.

"Not for a little bit longer, kiddo." He smiled as he kissed her cheek and put her back down. She stomped out my room and slammed her own room door shut. "Sorry, I tried putting her to bed late last night so she wouldn't be up so early."

"It's okay," I shrugged.

"How're you feeling?" He smiled as he came and sat down on my bed.

"Honestly?" I asked. "Like I could throw up, Dad." I whispered. "I love Bella so much, but...what if this doesn't work out? What happens then?"

"It will work out, Edward." He sighed. "You two love each other. It won't be easy, but as long as you don't forget how much you love her, every fight you have will be resolved and every hardship that comes your way...you'll figure out how to fix."

"Is that what they told you on your wedding day?"

"Esme and I weren't as young as you two." He chuckled. "We knew just a little bit more about the world."

"You ever think this day would come?" I asked. He knew me better than anyone and he knew I didn't want to get married while I was in high school. He figured out I was a ladies man and never pressured me to find a nice to to settle down with.

"Nope." He laughed. "But, I'm so glad it has." He smiled. "I love you, son...and I'm really happy you've met someone to spend the rest of your life with." He smiled sadly. "I love Rosalie, but...it gets kind of lonely around here."

"You don't have to be alone, Dad." I whispered. "I know how much you loved Esme, but,"

"She was it, Edward." He shrugged. "I'll never love anyone the way I loved her and I don't want to. Esme was my...my one person." He said. "But, I'm okay with that, because I got to have what people only dream of with her and I'll forever be grateful for that." He smiled. "But, today isn't about me. It's about you."

"It's about Bella." I smiled.

"It's about you both." He corrected. "So, I'll leave you to pace and throw up and I'll be back when it's time for you to start getting ready."

"Thanks, Dad." I laughed as he got up and left the room. "I'm getting married today," I whispered as I looked in the mirror.

Those are the words I swore I'd never say when I was in high school. I never wanted to be tied down to one woman, but Bella made all of those feelings go away. I haven't thought about being with anyone since the first day we met, which was crazy since I didn't know anything about her.

But now, five years later I still feel my heart pounding just as hard as it did the second I laid eyes on her. I still feel my palms sweating when she's around.

Just as I was about to jump in the shower, my phone buzzed on my dresser. I picked it up and smiled before answering it.

"Hi," I said.

"Hey," She sighed on the other end. "I love you."

"I love you too." I whispered. I fell more and more in love every second I spent with her. "You're going to be my wife in less than twenty-four hours."

"Do you know how crazy that is?" She giggled. And she was right. The two of us had the biggest commitment issues than anyone I'd ever met and we somehow managed to find each other. We someone managed to fall so deeply in love that we don't want anyone else ever again.

"Yeah, I do." I agreed. "You nervous?

"I'm marrying my best friend," She said. "How could I be nervous?" She asked, and everything fell into place.

She was right. I wasn't just marrying the love of my life. Bella was my best friend and the future was seemed bright as long as we were together.

* * *

"What if she doesn't show up?" I asked as I paced around my bedroom. Bella and I decided we wanted something simple so we turned my dad's backyard into a wedding venue. Alice managed to turn into something out of_ A Midsummers Night Dream_ or something. It really was perfect. "I mean, what do I do then?"

I knew I was being stupid. Of course she'd show up. We loved each other too much to run away now. But, my wedding jitters were getting the best of me and the five cups of coffee I had while waiting to change into my tux didn't help.

"Would you relax?" Jasper asked. "She's already here you dumb ass." He laughed. "Alice texted me an hour and a half ago saying they were here."

"Okay," I nodded as I sighed in relief. I was being ridiculous. Of course she was here. She loved me. I took a few calming breaths before Emmett came over and made me sit down. After another fifteen minutes of sitting and waving, the door to my room slammed open.

"IT'S TIME!" Rosalie screamed. "She told me to tell you she's in the dress and she's super excited!" She squealed as she jumped up and down. "It's time, Edward!"

"It's time." I nodded as I looked up at Jasper who gave me an encouraging smile. After what we went through at his wedding, I figured this would be a piece of cake. I hadn't tried crawling out of the window to try and flee. He told me after that the second he saw Alice, all of his fears melted away. I took a few more deep breaths and went downstairs to the kitchen.

Dad was there, smiling at me and nodded before he made his way down the aisle. Jasper and Emmett had to give me a little shove to get me going, but I walked down the aisle, all I could think about was being with Bella for the rest of my life and by the time I was standing up front, I just wanted to say 'I do' and be married. After the wedding party walked down, it was her turn and I had butterflies in my stomach.

And then, she was there. She looked like something out of a fairytale or something. I couldn't help but cover my mouth with my hand as I tried not to cry. We hadn't even said anything yet, I didn't want to be crying already. But, she was making it so hard and I just let go. I felt the tears slipping out of my eyes and she smiled at me. Finally, she was standing in front of me and she brought her hand gently to my cheek and wiped away the tear with her thumb.

"I love you," She whispered as she put her forehead to mine.

"You've never looked more beautiful." I cried as I kissed her cheek. She turned to Charlie and gave him a kiss on the cheek before he handed her over to me. He gave me a smile before going to sit down with Megan. We turned to Pastor Webbed and he gave us a big, cheeky grin. He'd known both of us our entire lives and even though neither of us were religious, we needed him to be the one to marry us.

"The couple have chosen to write their own vows," Pastor Webbed announced and I turned to Bella and took a deep breath.

"Honestly, I still don't know what to say to you." I laughed. "But...I can't imagine being with anyone but you and I really have to be the happiest guy on this planet. You're everything I've ever wanted...and I didn't know how much I wanted this until you came into my life." I said and I could see her eyes filling with tears. "So, I guess what I'm trying to say is...thank you.

"Thank you for babysitting my baby sister. Thank you for...everything you did for my family after Esme died." I cried. "Without you...we would have fallen apart. And...yeah." I sighed. I felt a little stupid, I had this big romantic speech written. But, this felt more personal and once I started, I couldn't stop. "I love you, baby."

"I love you," She smiled as I reached over and wiped her cheek. She took a deep breath and looked up at me with those beautiful brown eyes. "After my mom left, I thought this was just a hoax. I didn't think people actually fell in love, but that day in your living room...it changed everything. I'd never wanted to be kissed so badly in my entire life, and then you walked in.

"I just want you to know that...nothing you do or say will make me love you any less and I only want to be with you. You are my...person." She giggled. "And today is just the beginning to a wonderful, screwed up life that we're going to have together. You really are my Prince Charming." She giggled and I couldn't help but kiss her.

We said our 'I do's' and exchanged rings and before I knew it, we were pronounced husband and wife. She smiled wide at me as she wrapped her arms around my neck and I brought my lips gently to hers.

"I love you," I whispered as people stood up and clapped for us. I felt Jasper clap me on the back while Bella turned to Alice to hug her. I took Bella's hand and we made our way up the aisle as husband and wife and I'd never been happier. I dragged her upstairs to my old room and shut the door.

"What are you doing?" She asked. "Alice said the limo would leave right after the ceremony for the pictures."

"I wanted a minute to be with you alone." I laughed. "Hi, Mrs. Cullen." I whispered as I grabbed her waist and pulled her close to me. I pressed my forehead to hers and sighed.

This was perfection.

"I...love the sound of that." She whispered. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," I smiled as I pressed my lips to hers again. I couldn't tell you how long we just stood there wrapped up in each others arms and I honestly could have stayed there forever. But, Alice was pounding on the door for us to leave and we reluctantly let go of each other.

* * *

"Hello?" I heard Dad's voice over the sound system. I looked up to the small stage and saw him standing there with a champaign glass in his hand. "Well, as all of you know, I'm Edward's father." He laughed. "Anyway, I just wanted to say...how incredibly happy I am for my son and my beautiful new daughter. First, as one Father to another, I want to thank Charlie. He has made me feel so welcome and and he has hosted such a wonderful wedding. This is a day I will never forget!

"But, It seems like just yesterday that I was driving home from the hospital after the birth of Edward. My eyes welled with tears of gratitude that evening... or perhaps it was just tiredness after an 11 hour labor! But who am I to claim exhaustion after labor?

"Well, my heart and your hearts tell us all that it _was_ gratitude indeed that I felt as I left my wife and new child in the hospital. Since then, gratitude and thankfulness have been a theme throughout our life together ever since that blessed day. That joyous day marked the beginning of a road traveled together, between Edward and I." He smiled and I saw that Bella had tears welling up in her eyes for the fifth time that night.

"Marriages, like births, mark the beginning of a journey together. Today, we have marked the beginning of a wonderful new journey, in which Edward has joined together with a most special, most wonderful woman Bella." He said and by then, Bella was sobbing.

Four years ago, Bella came into our lives after something tragic happened to our family" He whispered. "But, from one horrible loss, he met the most precious girl. And, when I first heard Edward tell me that Bella was 'more than his friend' I could tell from his voice and excitement just how special she already was to him.

"And today, you all bore witness, as Bella and Edward exchanged vows, to just how special they are to each other. Surely their love and commitment will build a long and joyous union." He smiled, raising his glass. "I am so blessed to have such a wonderful son and daughter, and I'm so excited to call Bella, my daughter-in-law."

Bella sprinted up to where he was standing and hugged him tightly. I smiled up at the two of them. I stood up and made my way up to where he was standing and almost burst out into tears on his shoulder.

I couldn't help but laugh when I heard the song Jake and Bella always danced to come on the speakers. I saw him standing with the DJ and just shook my head at him. He did this every time there was dancing and I thought it was actually precious that they kept the tradition going. I took this opportunity to steal Alice since Bella was busy.

"Can I have this dance?" I laughed as I stood in front of her. She giggled as she stood up and I lead her out to the dance floor.

"Hey, Edward?" She asked as we swayed to the music. "You know how much I love you, right?" She asked and I nodded. "And...I just wanted to say thank you."

"For what?" I asked.

"You made Bella smile...really smile again." She shrugged. "Bella's my best friend and when her mom left something inside her disappeared. She was happy a lot but with you she's the happiest I've ever seen her.

"I love her so much." I told her. "I'll make her smiled until the day I die." I told her and I meant it. I would do anything to see her beautiful smile.

I looked over to Jake and Bella dancing and I smiled as she cried on his shoulder and just how good of a friend he was to her. Even though he could be an ass, he was an ass who would go to the ends of the earth for her.

After all the toasts were made and the cake was cut, it was time for Bella and I to leave. We were leaving for Hawaii in the morning and Dad had booked us a room at the small B&amp;B in town. We changed upstairs before getting into my silver Volvo, heading off alone for the first time as a married couple.

"What are you thinking?" She asked as we turned off my street.

"You really wanna know?" I asked and she nodded. "How fucking happy I am that you're my wife."

"I'm pretty happy too." She smiled as she ran her hand through my hair. the Bed and Breakfast wasn't too far from my house and we were pulling into the small parking lot in a few minutes. I lead her inside, got the key and we flew upstairs to our room.

Once I opened the door, her lips were on mine immediately. I pushed her up against the door as she wrapped her leg around my waist. I grabbed her ass and lifted her off of the floor. She smiled at me as she began to rock against me and I could feel myself hardening.

"Hey," She smiled.

"Hi." I laughed as I carried her over to the bed. I gently set her down and she grabbed my shirt and pulled me down on top of her as she lay down.

We made love slow and passionately that night. There was no need to rush and the fact that we were having sex as a married couple made everything so much better. When we were ready, I pushed both of us to our breaking point. I collapsed on top of her, and I couldn't bring myself to pull away.

"I love you, Mrs. Cullen." I whispered when I finally rolled over and brought her into my arms. "More than you will ever know."


	19. Break of Dawn

**Chapter Nineteen: Break of Dawn**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"Welcome to Hawaii, Mrs. Cullen." Edward whispered in my ear as we flew over crystal clear water. I just stared in awe. It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen and I got to share it with Edward.

My husband.

I turned to face him and smiled. His hair was messy from trying to sleep on the plane and his clothes were wrinkled. But, he still made my heart pound. I leaned in and gave him a soft kiss before grabbing his arm and wrapping it around me tightly. We flew around for another twenty minutes before landing and by the time we actually got off of the plane, I was exhausted. Edward had tired me out at the small B&amp;B last night and we'd been traveling all day.

We walked down to baggage claim before calling a cab to go to the hotel. It was nearly impossible to keep my hands off of Edward while we sat in the back of the cab. I could feel the electricity racing through our bodies as we held hands and I wasn't quite sure I could keep off of him until we got into the room.

Finally, after twenty agonizing minutes, the cab pulled into the hotels parking lot and stopped in front of the entrance. He grabbed our bags from the trunk and set them down on the curb for us. Edward paid him and grabbed our things as we walked into the lobby. The honeymoon was Carlisle's wedding present so the hotel was fucking amazing.

"Holy shit." I whispered as we walked through the lobby. "This must be a four star hotel."

"I wouldn't be surprised." Edward smirked. "Dad only books the best." He smiled. We walked up to the front desk and Edward handled getting us checked in while I went to the bathroom in the lobby. Just as I was flushing the toilet, there was a loud obnoxious pounding on the stall door.

"Excuse you!" I yelled annoyed as I unlocked the door. I opened it and saw Edward standing there, his eyes dark and full of lust.

"The room won't be ready for another hour." He said darkly as he kissed me and pushed me back into the stall. I reached around him to lock the door as he reached for the buttons on my shorts.

"Fuck," I whispered as he pulled my shorts and panties down and ground into me. "Not fair," I moaned as I worked on undoing his belt. It took mighty strength, but I was somehow able to get his shorts unbuttoned. I pushed them down to his ankles and wrapped my arms tightly around his neck.

"This is so fucking hot," He whispered in my ear as I wrapped my hands around his shaft.

"Yeah, the bathroom is so sexy." I laughed as he palmed my breast through my thin tank-top.

"I meant doing it in public." He whispered darkly, sending shivers down my spine. "Fuck, Bella." He moaned as he jerked forward in my hand.

"Please, just...just do it." I begged after he'd been torturing me for too long. He gave me a soft kiss before picking me up off the ground and slamming me against the stall wall. He thrust into me and I had to burry my face in his neck to keep from screaming.

"Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I chanted as he pounded into me. After a while, I climbed down and turned around, placing my hands on the opposite wall as he thrust into me from behind. "Oh, god." I moaned as he put his hand up my shirt and began massaging my breast again.

"Fuck, Bella." He moaned as he picked up his speed.

"I'm gonna...ugh!" I screamed as I came, harder than I had in a long time. He was right behind me and it took all I had not to fall onto the bathroom floor. He held me up as he pulled out and gave me some toilet paper to clean up.

Even after four years, he still left me feeling boneless after sex.

"We should clean up." He whispered, kissing the back of my ear.

"Huh?" I asked as I slowly came back to reality.

"Here, baby." He laughed as he handed me my panties.

"Right," I smiled. We cleaned up and I pulled my hair up in a ponytail so it wasn't as obvious what I was really up to in the bathroom. He snuck out before me when the coast was clear and I followed not long after. Just as I was walking over to him sitting in one of the lobby chairs, a man in a suit walked up to him.

"Our rooms ready now, babe." He said as he stood up. He took my hand and we walked back over to the front desk. We got our keys and the bellhop came around with our bags. We had a top floor suit and when we walked inside, my mouth touched the floor. It was only a one bedroom suit, but it was huge.

"Damn," Edward muttered under his breath as he tipped the bellhop for us. Once the man was gone, he turned to me and gave me a big kiss. "Happy honeymoon, Mrs. Cullen."

"Happy honeymoon, Mr. Cullen." I laughed as he pulled my tank top over my head.

* * *

"Can we stay here forever?" I asked as he handed me my strawberry daiquiri.

"I wish," He smiled as he pecked my lips before sitting down in his lounge chair. We'd only been here for two days but we'd had more sex than we usually had in a week. Honeymoons were not over rated. I turned and smiled at him in his sunglasses, sipping his beer. He was just so damn sexy and I wished we had a pool back home. I wouldn't mind seeing him without a shirt more often.

"Are you sure?" I asked. It was just so perfect here and there were no interruptions. I just wanted to stay in our little bubble forever.

"We belong in LA, Bella." He smiled. "Plus, you've got that big internship when we get back."

"I know," I sighed. That was another reason I didn't want to go back. I was afraid they wouldn't like me and then I'd be without a job again. I had to really push for this. "I'm scared, Edward." I whispered. He took his sunglasses off and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards him. I sat down on the edge of his chair and he cupped my face.

"I know you are," He nodded. "But I know you're going to be great, baby."

"Have I told you how much I love you?" I asked as I leaned down and kissed him. "Because I do."

"I think I got that when you said I do a few days ago." He laughed.

We spent the rest of the day at the beach and in the pool and by the time we went inside, I was darker than I'd ever been before. Since mom had a little bit of Italian in her, I always tanned well in the summer, but I'd never been this dark before. As I was putting mousse through my hair, Edward came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me.

"We're not going to make our reservation if you keep that up," I moaned as he peppered the back of my neck with kisses.

"Well, we'll just have to order room service." He said darkly as he whipped me around and crashed his lips into mine. He tugged my towel down, leaving me completely bare. He lifted me up and set me down on the bathroom counter.

"Shit," I whispered as he bent down and bit down on my nipped, making my legs shake as I wrapped them around his waist. "Edward," I moaned as he slid two fingers into me and began to thrust in shallowly.

"What do you want, Bella?" He whispered me in my ear. I was so focused on what he was doing to me I could barley hear him. "Bella!"

"Hmmm?" I moaned as he thrust his finger deep inside me and flicking my clit. "Shit,"

"What do you want?"

"I want you to fuck me," I yelled as I came. It didn't take long for him to pull his boxers down and for him to pound inside of me. "Fuck!" He thrust into me hard and fast and had me coming in record time. He quickly followed and he buried his face in my neck.

"I love you," He whispered after our breathing had gotten back to normal. "So much,"

"I know,"

"I know you know," He laughed as he handed me my towel. "But, I just wanna tell you all the time."

"Why?"

"So you'll never forget," He smiled, kissing me. "So you'll always know...even if we're fighting I want you to know how much I love you."

"Come on, I'm hungry and if we hurry we can still make those reservations." I giggled after yet another make out session.

* * *

"Bye bye paradise." I sighed as we stood at the waters edge one last time. It was time to head back to LA, back to reality. I was excited to start this chapter of my life. Married and graduated from college, but I was having fun. The honeymoon was a never ending cycle of hot sex, walks on the beach, and swimming in the pool.

"We'll come back," Edward promised as he laced his fingers through mine.

"When?" I asked. "We'll never be able to afford this place." I reminded him since Carlisle paid for this.

"Someday, I'll be in a famous band and you'll be a successful writer." He laughed. "And then we'll be able to have a house here."

"A house in Hawaii?" I asked. "Can we have one in Europe too?"

"I don't care where we have a house," He said. "As long as you're with me, we can live wherever you want."

We took one last look and headed up to the lobby to check out. Our cab was waiting outside when we were finished and I almost teared up when we began driving away. But, as Edward grabbed my hand it didn't matter that we were leaving as long as we were together.

It was one of the longest days we'd ever had. With two long layovers plus the three hour time difference, Edward and I were passed out before we could even change out of our clothes. We were both startled away when we heard a shrill ringing coming from one of our bags. Edward crawled out of bed and dug through our carry on and pulled out his phone.

"Dad?" He yawned. "Yeah, we're home and we're safe." He smiled. "Okay, I'll talk to you later."

"Did he really have to call at...two o'clock in the afternoon?" I laughed when I looked at the clock. "Wow, we really slept the day away."

"It's only two." He smiled as he sat down next to me.

"I haven't slept until two since senior year and I was really hung over." I laughed.

"I remember that," He mused. "I'm the one that got you drunk."

"You sure are." I smiled as he leaned into me. I kissed him closed mouth and rolled out of bed.

"Where are you going?"

"To brush my teeth," I told him. "There is no way I'm having morning sex in the shower with bad breath."

"Morning...morning sex in the shower?" He stuttered as his eyes widened. There was something about morning sex in the shower that always turned him on and I never figured it out. It was hot I'll admit it, but he melted at the thought.

"Yep," I winked before going into the bathroom.

We didn't go back to reality until Monday, I was still on my honeymoon.

* * *

Three months had already passed since the wedding, but it honestly felt like nothing had changed. Actually, I loved him more and more each day. I didn't think it was possible. I thought it was a bunch of mumbo jumbo that two people could be with each other forever and not get tired of each other. But, with Edward, I understood everything.

I understand how my dad could still be so deeply in love with my mother despite her betrayal. I understood why he wanted to get her back and why he stayed alone for so long. I understand Carlisle when he said Esme was it for him. I understood all of it and I just didn't get how I went so long without him.

"Are you sure you want me to go?" He asked as I came out of the bathroom after throwing up again. It had been a miserable week and all I could do was lie in bed all morning and by the time I felt better, it was too late to get anything done. "Really, we can switch it."

"No, this is good for you guys." I argued as I got back under the covers. "I want you to go." His band had been offered to play at the House of Blues in San Diego. I knew how important this was for them and I wanted him to start living his dream. He had started teaching guitar at a local music store and that kept him happy, but I knew how much he still wanted to be a big hit with his band.

"But, you're sick." He argued. He was an amazing husband, and I wanted him to stay with me and take care of me. But I needed to suck it up. This was his shot.

"I'll be fine," I shrugged.

"I'm calling Alice." He told me. "I don't want you to be alone."

"Alice has her own life, Edward." I sighed. "Please let it go."

"Then I'm calling Jake."

"No you're not." I laughed. "Edward, Leah just had the baby." Leah and Jake had just welcomed Tegan Olivia a month ago and they were struggling. I loved that little baby, but we were not ready for a baby yet, and after seeing the struggle, I knew I was right.

"I just feel bad." He whispered.

"Look, you're the best husband a girl could ever ask for." I reminded him. "But, please go and live your life a little. Besides, my stomach is feeling better I'm probably just going to watch Netflix all day."

"What about tomorrow?"

"I'm hoping I won't be sick again." I laughed. "Now go or so help me I will call Jasper and have him come and drag your ass out of here." He finally got up and grabbed his bag. I smiled as he leaned down and kissed my forehead.

"I'll be home soon." He whispered. I watched as he walked out of the room. I grabbed my laptop from the bedside table and logged onto Netflix, prepared to be fine the rest of the day and just enjoy catching up on Once Upon a Time and Scandal. But, when I got sick in the middle of the afternoon, I decided to call Alice.

She was knocking on the door within a few minutes with a CVS bag in her hand. I let her inside and she raced to the kitchen and grabbed a full jug of apple juice.

"What are you doing?" I asked as she opened the jug and shoved it into my hands.

"Drink," She ordered.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because, you have a lot of these to pee on." She laughed as she set the CVS bag in front of my. I set the jug back onto the counter and looked inside and began fuming. "Start drinking."

"Alice, stop. I'm not pregnant." I sighed as I recapped the juice to put it back in the fridge. "I don't need these."

"Yeah you do." She argued. "Bella, you've been throwing up for a week and when was the last time you had your period?" She asked and I was about to answer a week ago since that when I should have had it. But, now that she brought it up I realized the last time I had it was before the wedding.

"Alice," I warned. "I'm on the pill. I'm not pregnant."

"Then just pee on the pregnancy tests and prove me wrong." She shrugged and I knew she was right.

"No,"

"Why?"

"Because I already know you're right!" I yelled as I sat down at the table. "But, we aren't ready for a baby yet, Alice. We don't even have a spare bedroom to make into a nursery."

"Then you'll find a bigger apartment." She shrugged like it was so easy. Since Jasper inherited everything from his parents, they were living quite comfortably for newlyweds who barely made enough to pay the bills if they were a normal couple.

"Carlisle bought this place, but we have to pay for it." I reminded her. "And he spent a fuck ton on the wedding and the honeymoon, he isn't going to do that again. And we can't afford a bigger place. LA is expensive, Alice."

"I know,"

"No you don't." I argued. "You and Jasper are living in a three bedroom apartment with a view of the entire city. You have more money than Edward and I combined."

"Then we'll help you."

"We're not going to except peoples pity money." I whispered. "We aren't a charity case."

"I never said you were, Bells." She whispered as she sat down next to me. "And for right now, this place will be big enough for you two and a baby. By the time the baby needs a room of its own, you may be able to afford a new place."

"What are we going to do, Alice?" I cried. "We're just kids...we can barely take care of ourselves."

"You two are smart," She shrugged. "You'll figure something out. You always do."

"I guess I should take these just to make sure," I whispered as I picked up the jug or apple juice and started drinking.


	20. I Am With You

**Chapter Twenty: I Am With You**

* * *

**Edward's POV**

I raced up the stairs in our apartment building, just wanting to be in Bella's arms again. Alice told Jasper she'd gotten sick again and I knew it was a bad idea to leave her. But, I couldn't regret going. It was the best shows we'd ever played and a guy from a small record company here in LA wanted to schedule a meeting for us.

We were finally taking off.

"Bella!" I yelled through the apartment as I shut the door. I threw my jacket on the couch and raced into the bedroom, but she wasn't there. "Babe?" I asked as I walked back out into the hall. I saw the bathroom door was opened a crack and figured she was in there.

I slowly pushed the door open and stopped breathing for a second. She was sitting on the closed toilet, a pregnancy test in her hand. I gulped as I shut the door and walked over to her. She didn't say anything, she just handed me the test. I knew she was pregnant, she wouldn't be handing it to me if she wasn't. But I looked down anywhere. And I saw the thing that changed our lives forever.

A plus sign.

"You're...we're pregnant?" I whispered and she nodded as she turned away from me. I saw a tear slip down and immediately knelt down in front of her. She was afraid I'd reject her. "Bella," I smiled as I pushed the hair from her face.

"We aren't ready for this, Edward." She cried. "We can barely afford to take care of ourselves."

"Shhh, we'll think of something." I whispered as she leaned into me and set her head on my shoulder. She began sobbing and for the first time since meeting her, I didn't know what to do to make her feel better. She was right, we weren't ready. But, I didn't want her to be crying over this.

This was supposed to be a happy moment for us.

Once her sobs died down, I picked her up and carried her into the bedroom. I set her down on our bed and covered her up with the UIC blanket my dad got me when I got in. I sat with her and rubbed her back until she finally fell asleep. I kissed her cheek before grabbing my phone and walking out into the small living room.

"Hey!" Dad said happily once he picked up. "How was your trip?"

"Fine," I sighed.

"What's wrong?" He asked. He always knew when something was wrong with me. It was like a sixth sense or something. "Edward?"

"Bella's pregnant." I told him.

"How far along is she?" He asked after a long pause.

"Don't know," I sighed. "She just showed me the pregnancy test, but probably only three months or so."

"Has she been to the doctor yet?"

"I think she just took the test." I explained. "Dad, we aren't ready for this. Our apartment is too small for us and a baby and we can't afford a bigger one yet."

"Don't worry about it." He laughed.

"Dad, no." I argued. "You can't take care of us forever. We need to be adults and figure this out ourselves."

"Okay then let me do it for the baby." He said and I could just see the dumb grin on his face right now. "Come on...let it be my wedding gift."

"Hawaii was your wedding gift." I sighed, shaking my head. He was relentless. "Why don't you spoil Rosalie while you can?"

"I don't spoil anyone."

"Right, a four star hotel on one of the most beautiful beaches isn't spoiling anyone." I laughed. "I'm scared, Dad."

"I was too," He sighed. "When you're mother told me she was pregnant, I didn't think I'd ever be able to do it. I never pictured myself as a dad before and I couldn't shake the fear off."

"What changed?"

"Your mother handed you to me." He sighed. "Once I looked down at you in my arms, I was hooked. You and Rosalie...you two are the best thing that's ever happened to me and if nothing else in my life worked out, I'd still be the happiest man on earth."

"Have I told you how lucky I am to have you as my dad?" I asked.

"A few times." He laughed.

"Well, I am." I smiled. "I love you, dad."

"I love you too, son. Now, go work things out with Bella."

"Yes, sir." I laughed as I hung up the phone. I took a deep breath before going back into the bedroom. She was still sleeping soundly and I hated to wake her. But, there were things we needed to talk about. Things we needed to figure out. I walked over to the bed and shook her gently.

"Hey," She whispered when she finally opened her eyes.

"Hi," I smiled as I leaned over and gently pressed my lips to hers. "I love you,"

"I know you do." She laughed as she sat up. I sat down next to her and wrapped her up in my arms. We sat there for a while in silence, but these were the moments I craved. Even after so much time together, the silence was peaceful and it never felt awkward.

"When?" I asked.

"I think the honeymoon," She sniffed. "Or shortly after."

"Bella, I'm here." I whispered, gripping her chin and making her look at me. "I'm always going to be here. You don't have to do this alone."

"Having kids is what destroyed both of our parents relationships." She cried and I finally understood. She was afraid we'd fall apart after this baby was born. I brought her close to me again and hugged her tightly.

"No," I argued.

"Your mom...your birth mom and dad were happy before you," She reminded me, and after all this time, it still stung. I would never forget that part of the story. "And...my mom...my mom didn't want kids. She learned to love me, but she still left."

"Isabela Marie," I said sternly. "Once this baby is born, I'm only going to love you more."

"No, Edward." She argued and it hurt that after all this time, she still didn't believe me when I told her I wasn't going anywhere. It still hurt she didn't trust me.

"This baby is a good thing, babe." I smiled. "It's a new chapter in our lives and I'm excited for it."

"How are we going to do this?" She asked.

"We have family, Bells." I reminded her. "Your father would go to China to find the best baby formula." I laughed. "And my dad would walk here if he had to if you needed something."

"I'm scared," She cried.

"Me too." I admitted as I held her tighter.

* * *

Bella and I waited in the doctors office the next week, her hand wrapped tightly around mine. I tried reassuring her it was going to be alright, but she was being stubborn as ever and refused to believe me. So, I just let her shake her foot in anticipation and gave her the space she so desperately craved.

"Good afternoon, you two." Dr. Jenning greeted happily when she opened the door. "How are you doing?"

"Pretty good." I answered after Bella turned her head.

"Bella, you okay?" She asked as she sat down on her stool next to her.

"Yeah," She lied, still refusing to look at the doctor.

"Okay," She nodded. "Well, I'm going to do a quick ultrasound to see how far along you are." She explained. "This is going to be a little chilly," She warned as she squeezed the blue gel on Bella's stomach. She was still refusing to look at the doctor, and I just hoped she'd warm up soon.

"Wow," I sighed as I saw the little baby up on the screen. Even Bella's face had softened as she looked and she gripped my hand tighter. "Tiny,"

"It looks like your about two months along." Dr. Jenning said cheerfully as she looked at the screen. "Congrats, mom."

"I thought your said you got pregnant on the honeymoon?" I laughed as I kissed her forehead.

"I guess I was wrong," She shrugged. "Wow," She cried as she looked at the screen longer. I kissed the top of her head before looking over at Dr. Jenning again. Her faced was smushed in confusion and I prayed something wasn't wrong.

"Everything okay, doc?" I asked tentatively. She looked up and smiled as she nodded before pushing the screen closer to us.

"I see...two little babies on this screen." She whispered and both Bella and I tensed up. Two? As in twins? We weren't ready to handle one baby let alone two. "It seems I owe you another congratulations." She smiled. Bella and I looked at each other in confusion and I tried not to panic. Bella needed me to be strong for her.

"I'll give you two a minute." Dr. Jenning whispered. She set her clipboard down on the counter and exited the room. Bella was now shaking in my arms and for the first time in our relationship, I didn't know what to do.

"Twins?" She whispered. "Twins, Edward?"

"It would seem so." I sighed. I looked at her and the smile was gone, the tears were back. I pulled her close to me and rubbed her back, trying to reassure her things were going to work out. But at that point, I wasn't sure. One baby was something I thought we could handle, but she had a point. We were struggling to support just the two of us. If our family went from two to four, I wasn't sure what the future had in store for us.

"I thought...I thought twins ran in families?" I asked after a few minutes of silence.

"My grandma was a twin." She sniffled. "It skips a generation so I guess this shouldn't be that big of a surprise to me."

"I love you," I whispered. She looked at me like I'd said something wrong, but I needed her to know. Our lives were about to be turned upside down and I wanted to remind her that I loved her. I wanted her to know nothing would change between us.

"I love you too." She finally whispered. I leaned down and gently brushed my lips to hers, just wanting to be close again. Dr. Jenning knocked on the door again and printed us a few pictures of the babies. Bella tucked them into her bag before getting dressed again.

The drive home was silent. I wan't sure what to say to make her feel better. But I knew that we'd get through this. I knew once the babies were born, everything would fall into place. My dad told me you don't really become parents until you hold your little ones in your arms.

I never wanted him to be right more than this moment.

As I pulled into the apartment building parking lot, I noticed my dad black Mercedes parked. I turned to Bella and she only shrugged. I walked over and helped her out of the car and laced my fingers through hers as we walked inside. My eyes widened as I saw my dad and Rosalie sitting on the ground next to our door.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I picked Rosalie up. I hadn't seen either of them since the wedding and Rosalie was so excited, I almost dropped her from squirming around so much. "I mean, I'm glad to see you but why are you here?"

"I just wanted to run something by you guys." He shrugged.

"Rose, why don't you go play in our room?" Bella suggested. By the tone in dads voice, he meant business. "I'll be in soon."

"Okay!" She laughed as she picked up her bag of toys and dragged them into our bedroom. The three of us sat down at the kitchen table and Bella handed Dad one of the sonograms. He stared down in awe, but he couldn't help himself but to smile.

"Twins?" He asked as his eyes widened. "Wow,"

"My grandma was a twin." Bella sighed. "I guess it does run in the family."

"Dad, I have a hunch you didn't drive all this way to see a picture," I said, trying to get to why he drove down here with a six year old who could barely sit still during an episode of the _Wonder Pets_.

"You're as intuitive as ever." He laughed. He took a deep breath and folded his hands together. "I'm...we're moving down to LA."

"Who we?" Bella asked.

"Rosalie and I." He laughed and my jaw dropped. I didn't think he'd leave Esme there alone and I knew how much he liked the small town life. It's all he'd ever known except for the eight years he was off at school. "I know what your thinking and I'm going to miss Forks, but there isn't anything there for me anymore."

"Dad, this is a big step." I sighed. "Are you sure?"

"Rosalie misses you two like crazy." He smiled. "_I_ miss you two like crazy."

"We miss you too, but we see each other a lot more than other people probably." Bella said.

"I need a change, kids." He explained. "Like I've heard you say a bunch of times, Edward...Forks has become something of a ghost town to me. Your mother...your birth mother walked out on me there and Esme died there. Every corner I turn...I see her face and it's time for a fresh start."

"What about your job?" I asked. "Rosalie's school?"

"I already have a job lined up at the UCLA Medical Center." He explained. "And, she just started kindergarten. It isn't like I'm taking her out of school her junior year of high school." He told us. "I asked her how she felt about it and she's really excited."

"Well, if this is what you want it'd be really great having your here." I told him. It was true. While I was living in Forks after Esme died, Dad and I were closer than ever. I missed him when I moved down here with Bella and I was actually jumping for joy inside.

"Rosalie and I were house hunting this morning while you two were at the doctors and we found a few places I wanna make an offer at." He said. "For the two of us and then I want to show you a house I think would be perfect for you guys and the two little ones on their way."

"Dad, we can't afford a house." Bella reminded him. I knew he knew that so I didn't get why he was looking at houses for us. We'd get a house when we could and shoving it in our faces wasn't helping matters.

"Consider it a baby gift." He smiled and I almost kicked him under the table. I told him we wanted to do this ourselves. "I know you want to do it by yourself, but I want to help. I want you guys to have everything you have ever wanted."

"Dad, save your money." I sighed.

"I have. I've been saving since I was fifteen, Edward." He told me. "It's time to put it to some good use."

"Carlisle, no!" Bella yelled. I had never seen her yell at my father before and the fact that she called him by his first name was telling me she was pissed. "We don't need your charity."

"This is charity, my deer." He whispered. "I want to help. Please, let me."

"Bella, give it a chance." I whispered. "We can't fit two babies in this apartment and if dad wants to help..."

"When I first met you, you wanted nothing from your father!" She screamed. "You wanted to be free and on your own." She reminded me. "Thank you for the offer, but no...we aren't looking at the house you wanna buy us."

"I didn't mean to cause an argument," Dad whispered as he looked down at his shoes. "I just want you two and my grandkids to have the best life they can."

"I'll talk to her." I assured him. "She's a little stressed right now, but she'll come to her senses." I stood up and went to get Rosalie out of our room. I set her up with a Barbie movie that was on Netflix before going to the bathroom door. I knocked lightly, and she just opened the door for me.

"I'm not accepting his gift, Edward." She nearly shouted. "I just wanna do something for myself for once! He paid for almost the entire wedding and our honeymoon. He bought this apartment for you at first. Now he wants to buy us a house?"

"Yeah, we're in a pretty awful situation." I said sarcastically. I wanted to do things without daddy's help too, but we would drown without him. "I mean, my dad being nice enough to buy us a house is just...absurd."

"Edward," She warned.

"No, Bella." I sighed. "This is good for us. If he buys us the house, it's one less thing we'll have to worry about later on. It's something we'll already have and we can put the money in the kids college funds or something." I told her. "Please let him do this for us."


	21. Into the Flood

**Chapter Twenty-One: Into the Flood **

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"Now what?" I asked as I looked around the room. Edward and I finally moved into the house Carlisle had bought us. It had been a long month of packing and moving, and packing and moving. I cringed when I saw what we had to go through. There were boxes everywhere and I just didn't know how we were going to get anything unpacked and sorted. I didn't realize how much stuff we had in the apartment and to top it all off, in storage.

"Now, we have a drink." He smiled and I raised an eyebrow at him. "It's sparkling cider." He laughed as he pulled it out of the bag he'd packed with the important stuff. Apparently fake booze were very important to him. I smiled as he handed me a champaign flute and poured the fizzy cider into my glass.

"Don't make this too cheesy." I giggled.

"To...a new beginning." He smiled. "May it be filled with screaming babies, children running around...and a lot of love."

"You couldn't have been more cheesy, huh?" I laughed as I took a sip. "Mmmmm. This is good."

"Dad recommended it." He laughed. "How're our babies?" He asked, resting his hand on my growing stomach.

"They'd like some of that ice creme in the freezer." I smiled. "And a grilled cheese."

"They got it." He smiled, leaning in and kissing me. I made sure all the food was accessible and I helped him put the food that needed to be cold in the fridge before he started making my sandwich. We ate our grilled cheeses on paper towels before he called Jasper and Alice to help us with the unpacking. Jasper agreed to help unload the furniture and put our bed together. Once they were here, they got to work with the heavy lifting and Alice and I got to work on unpacking the essentials that we would need for the night.

"It's so beautiful here," She mused as we sat on the deck. "It kinda reminds me of Forks." It really was beautiful. Carlisle couldn't have picked a better house. It was small, but it would fit one more kid if we wanted and if not, then we had a guest room or an office even. The kitchen was amazing and the backyard was perfect. It was big and beautifully landscaped.

It reminded me of their house back in Forks.

"It's still ten times louder than Forks and we're twenty minutes from the city." I laughed. "How are you liking the city life?" I asked. The house he had purchased for us and himself were in Pasadena. It was a good location. Close to the city, but far enough away that we didn't have to deal with the thriving city life. Alice and Jasper's three bedroom apartment was in the heart of the city. I was happy Jasper was finally taking advantage of what his parents had left him. I don't think they'd be so comfy without it.

They were doing really well.

"It's good." She smiled. "I mean, I didn't think I'd like the sound of constant traffic...but it's really good."

"Yeah," I sighed. I liked not living in the city, but it was an adjustment. "But, this is good for us. I want these guys to have a backyard to play in. And, it's comforting to have Carlisle and Rosalie so close."

"Okay, but twenty minutes is far enough." She laughed. "Any further away and I'm following."

"Deal," I smiled as I clinked out water bottles together. "You think you'll move into a house when you guys start having kids?" I asked. We always planned everything together so the fact that I was pregnant and she wasn't was shocking. I mean, they weren't ready for that yet, but it was still strange.

"I'm not sure." She shrugged. "And why would we need to? We'll have this backyard to play in."

"Very true." I smiled as I clinked our water bottles together.

* * *

A week had passed since buying the house and it was slowly becoming a home. More things were setting on the tables, photos were hanging up, and the kitchen was fully stalked. As I walked through the house and saw our wedding pictures on the wall, I had to try hard not to laugh. I never thought I'd end up here. Married, pregnant, and a house owner.

But, it was happening. It wasn't a dream and no matter how hard I pinched myself, I never woke up. My life was a complete one eighty than what I thought it would be, but I wouldn't want another life. Edward and these two beautiful babies were my entire world.

"Are you sure you don't want me to cancel?" Edward asked as he came out of our bathroom. I was getting the last bit of our bedroom unpacked before I was putting on my PJs and watching Grey's Anatomy on Netflix.

"I'm pregnant, not dying." I sighed. Every time he had to leave to do something, he asked if he actually wanted me to go. Even if it was going to get milk. I loved him for it, but I couldn't deal with this for another six months. "Go to your freaking rehearsal. You've barely picked up your guitar in a week."

"I've been busy." He shrugged.

"I know, and I'm very grateful for your help in unpacking." I smiled, leaning in and pecking him on the lips. "But, this isn't some hobby...it's your career. So, you are going to go and practice with your band so we can buy our children food." I smiled.

"Have I told you how much I love you?" He smiled.

"Not in the last few hours, no." I laughed as he grabbed my hips and pulled me close to him. "Ugh!" I groaned as I laid my head on his shoulder.

"What?" He asked as he rubbed my back.

"I'm not even that far along and look how far away you are already." I cried, wishing I wasn't.

"Hey, it's okay," He sighed. "In a few months, you'll be as close as you wanna be."

"I'm sorry, I'm being stupid." I smiled as I stepped back and wiped my cheeks. "It's the stupid pregnancy...it's making me cry at everything."

"This pregnancy is not stupid." He smiled. "Now, you okay?"

"Yes. Go." I smiled. He leaned in and gave me one more kiss before walking out. I continued to hang our photos on the walls and unpacked my jewelry box. I smiled as I saw the anchor necklace hanging inside. After another hour and a half of unpacking, I was finally finished with our room and the guest room. Edward and I decided to do the nursery together and that what we were doing next weekend.

After I was sure I had everything done, I changed into my old flannel PJ bottoms and Edward's USC tshirt and climbed into bed. I grabbed my laptop and typed Netflix into the search bar.

I spent the next few hours watching Grey's and when I looked at the clock, I got worried. I hadn't realized how much time had passed, but Edward should have been home already. I checked my phone to see if he'd called or sent me a message, but there was nothing. I decided to call him, but he didn't answer.

Any of the twenty times I tried.

I got out of bed and went downstairs and began to pace around the living room. I wanted to call the police, but his phone always dies when he's at rehearsal. I just tried to breathe, but I was getting scared. Just as I was about to call 911, the door swung open.

"There's my lady!" He slurred. I stared at him, dumbfounded. He'd agreed to stop drinking for as long as I couldn't drink. I didn't ask him to do it, but he insisted. And, now that he'd broken that promise, my heart sunk. "I missed you!"

"What the hell, Edward?" I asked as I pushed him away. He reeked of alcohol and smoke. He'd gone to a sleazy bar near his rehearsal, and he knew how much I hated those. "You didn't drive, did you?" I asked nervously when I saw his car in the driveway.

"Nope. Jasper decided to be a party pooper and didn't drink." He slurred as he took off his jacket and through it on the ground. I was getting annoyed. I hadn't seen him this drunk since I was a sophomore at UCLA. "Alice came and picked him up a few seconds ago."

"Is your phone dead?" I asked, seething with anger. I wouldn't have been surprised if sparks began flying out of my nose. "I was scared out of my mind, Edward! I thought you were dead in a ditch!"

"Sorry," He shrugged, rolling his eyes.

"You promised you wouldn't drink as long as I couldn't drink." I whispered, tears pooling in my eyes. It was the damn pregnancy making me cry and I couldn't help it.

"Please...don't cry." He begged, sounding more annoyed than sympathetic. "I'm fine."

"I don't want to be crying you moron!" I yelled. "It's the pregnancy hormones!"

"Look, I had a bad night." He sighed as he began walking up the stairs. "Let it go."

"Edward Anthony Mason!" I yelled as I chased him up the stairs. He was treating me like I was no one and I was not going to stand here and let him do this. "Stop walking!"

"Bella, let. It. Go." He seethed.

"I'm your wife." I reminded him. "We're supposed to talk about stuff like this. Like what's bothering you." He gave me a sad look and sunk down onto the bed.

"Someone...someone showed up at our rehearsal hall tonight." He whispered. "I didn't know who it was, but dad clearly did. He started tripping over his own feet and knocking things over." He told me. "Then, when she tried to approach him, he ran away into my office."

"Okay?" I asked.

"Then, she came over to me and I knew exactly who it was." He whispered. "Bella, my mother showed up tonight." He told me and I could feel my eyes bugging out of my head. "I knew I recognized her when she walked in. When I was like...eight I found a picture of my dad and this woman in his bedside table. I thought it was his best friend from med school, but there was something about her that told me she wasn't.

"She had these...bright green eyes like I do." He explained. "I looked at that picture everyday for three years." He whispered. "One day, dad found me looking at it and I gave it back to him. He didn't seem mad or anything so I didn't think anything of it. When I went in his room the next day, the picture was gone and I put the pieces together."

"She was your mom."

"Yeah, the back of the picture said Elizabeth Masen and Carlisle Cullen in my grandmas handwriting." He whispered. "I've gone my entire life without knowing her and I don't want to ever know her. Why is she just showing up, Bella?" He asked as he looked up at me. His eyes were full of tears, and I couldn't help myself when I pulled him into me. He began crying on my shoulder and I couldn't tell if this was the alcohol or his mother showing up.

"What did she say to you?" I asked after he'd stopped crying.

"She just asked who I was." He shrugged. "Then asked if we could talk one day. I told her to go to hell and...she gave me her cell number before leaving. It's in my wallet."

"Are you going to call?" I asked stupidly.

"I don't know." He whispered. "I mean..."

"There are two options, Edward." I whispered. "You can ignore this ever happened or you can call her. Which means you can get an apology and never look back...or you could bring her into your life."

"I don't know what I want." He whispered. "I mean, for my entire life I've hated her for what she did to us. But, for my entire life, all I've ever wanted was to know my mother. My birth mother."

"I know." I nodded. "But, mothers aren't all that great. You're lucky she left when she did. You never got too attached."

"Bella, maybe it's time to try and contact your mother." He shrugged, and I laughed in his face. "I mean, she left your dad not you. Elizabeth left both of us...more me than my dad."

"I invited her to the wedding and she didn't show up!" I yelled as I my eyes filled with tears again. "I sent her an invitation and she didn't even RSVP. I didn't hear anything from her. She blew off her daughter on her wedding day."

"Why didn't you tell me?" He asked.

"You were already stressing out over the wedding." I shrugged. "I didn't wanna burden you even more."

"You telling me something that happened isn't burdening me." He whispered.

"Okay, you do what you think is right." I whispered after a long silence. "You call her if you think that will help, but don't call her on a whim. Take some time to really think about this, and ask her over. I don't want you making a scene in public."

"We'll get through this," He assured me, leaning in and pressing his lips to mine. "One way or another, we will get past this and we'll be able to focus on these beautiful babies."

* * *

Two weeks had passed since Edward's mom had reappeared and he finally called her. I wanted to be supportive, but it was hard for me. I always thought we were on the same page about our moms. Maybe it was me being super jealous that his mom wanted him and mine didn't, but I just didn't know if it was actually a good idea. She wasn't trustworthy, and I wasn't sure if I could hide my feelings about her.

"I'll be home before she gets here." He told me as he rushed around the living room, grabbing his things. "If you don't want to, you don't even have to open the door for her."

"I'm fine, babe." I lied.

"No, you aren't." He sighed. "I can see it in your face. She probably doesn't even want me in her life, maybe she's dying or something and wants to clear her conscience." He shrugged. "Maybe she'll apologize and leave me again. Anything can happen, but what kind of person would I be if I did the same thing to her that she did to me?"

"And that would be?"

"Abandoning her." He sighed. "I know, it's not the same thing. I wanna show her that I'm the bigger person and that I'm mature enough to handle it."

"I'll let her in if you aren't back in time." I whispered. "Maybe I'll even say hello."

"That's my girl." He smiled, leaning down and kissing me again." I spent the afternoon in the kitchen, trying to calm my nerves. I didn't understand why I was freaking out. She wasn't the mom who abandoned me. But, I could handle getting hurt again, Edward had been through enough. Losing Esme, going back to school, committing to someone. Not that our marriage was some big, devastating thing he'd been though...but I knew how hard it was.

It was hard on me too.

Two hours had passed and he still wasn't back yet. I heard the doorbell ring and I froze. I told her I'd let her in, but I never said I'd be nice. So, I wiped my hands on a towel and went to the answer the door. I took a deep breath and opened it, and my breath was almost taken away. She was beautiful. Long, dark brown hair, bright green eyes like Edward, pale skin, and long legs.

No wonder Edward was so fucking attractive.

"Hi," She smiled. "You must be Edward's wife. Bella, right?"

"Yep," I snapped as I stepped away from the door, letting her inside. "He should be back soon."

"Thanks," She whispered awkwardly. "I know you hate me..."

"Damn right I hate you." I yelled. "How could you do that to them? Carlisle is the best person I'd ever met and Edward's perfect."

"I know how good of a guy Carlisle is." She told me. "Believe me...he's a much better person than I'll ever be."

"Yes he is." I growled. "Can you help me understand something?"

"Sure,"

"Being pregnant...I understand motherly love." I sighed. "So how the hell does a mother hold her child, and play with her child, and be a mother for months...and walk out."

"I was eighteen." She shrugged. "I knew I didn't want kids and Carlisle knew that. He begged me to keep him and be apart of his life. I tried."

"Six months is not trying!" I yelled. "There is no trial run for motherhood! You killed him! It took him fucking years to find someone he loved just as much as you and she fucking died! Because of you he's going to die alone!"

"Bella, stop!" I heard Edward yell as he ran through the living room. I was full on sobbing at this point and he took my hand and pulled me into the kitchen. "Breathe."

"I'm sorry," I sobbed. "I talked you into letting her back in and I'm just attacking her."

"I'm not mad that you're attacking her." He smiled. "I just don't want you stressing yourself out. It isn't good for the babies."

"Right," I sighed, taking a deep breath. "I'm gonna go upstairs and take a bath. Try and cool off."

"I don't wanna talk to her alone," He whispered, squeezing my hand. "You go cool off and I'll entertain her some how."

"I love you," I whispered. "Don't forget."

"Never."


	22. Can't You See?

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Can't You See?**

* * *

**Edward's POV**

"Let's do this," I sighed as I took Bella's hand. I pulled her into the living room where my biological mom was waiting for me. She was just like I remembered from the picture dad had. I remember my dad telling my grandmother how hard it was to see her eyes every time he looked at me. I could tell that I was her son the second she came up to me and I saw her green eyes.

She was standing at the fire place, looking at one of our wedding photos. She was smiling broadly...almost like she was proud. I had to hold in a laugh because...how could she be proud? She walked away. She didn't want to see that happy moment that I shared with my wife. She had nothing to be proud of. Those people in the picture were strangers to her.

"Elizabeth," I said cooly as I sat down on the couch with Bella next to me. She turned and gave me a small smile before setting the picture back on the mantle. She walked over to the chair opposite the couch and slowly sat down.

"Liz," She whispered. "Everyone...everyone calls me Liz."

"Fine, Liz." I snapped. "What do you want?"

"Before anything happens...I wanted to know that I never intended this." She sighed and I just scoffed. She was unbelievable. "A few years ago, I was diagnosed with liver cancer." She explained and my jaw dropped. Cancer? "And I went on the transplant list, but I'm still waiting."

"If you're here because you want sympathy then you're in the wrong fucking place." Bella snapped.

"No, I'm not." She whispered. "I tried to just ignore it, hoping it would go away or I'd get a new liver. I went to my treatment for a while, but it just made me feel sicker so I stopped. Anyway...time's up, Edward."

"So?" I asked.

"You're the only child I've ever had." She sighed. "You're my last hope."

"Last hope?" Bella asked.

"If Edward's blood type doesn't match mine, I won't make it much longer." She said and I just sat there confused.

"You want part of my liver, don't you?" I asked after a few minutes of silence. She didn't answer me, she just looked down at her shoes. The nerve of this woman. "How long is much longer."

"Six months at the most." She whispered. She'd be dead before she was forty-five and as much as I hated her for that, I couldn't let that happen. Dad told me her dream was to be a lawyer and by the clothes and jewelry she was wearing, she was a damn good one.

And, could I really blame her? She didn't want kids but my dad begged her to keep me. If he hadn't begged her, I would have been gone before I even took my first breath. Or, put into the foster system. She didn't want me, but she had me anyway...maybe she was doing what was right for me.

But, even if she did do what was best, she was still my mom. And she still walked out on me before she even had the chance to know me. She left my dad who is the greatest guy you could ask for. She gave everything up because she wanted to be a lawyer. I sighed as I looked down at her hand and my eyes bugged out of my head when I saw the huge stone setting on her left ring finger.

"You're married?" I asked, not hiding the disgust in my voice. I heard Bella snicker beside me and I had a feeling she wouldn't last much longer in this room with her. She was ready to explode and I was about ready to let her go all crazy on Elizabeth.

"Yes," She whispered. "For about ten years now." She told me. "We met in law school, and we both wanted the same things."

"You wanted the same things, or you didn't want the same things?" Bella asked as she played with her own wedding bands. "So, you found a man as heartless as you to not want kids?"

"I'm not heartless, Bella." She whispered and I could tell she was fighting off tears. "It's a choice I made when I decided what I wanted for myself in life. Kids just weren't part of that picture."

"So, the liver." I said, changing subjects. "Would I have to go to you or would you come here?"

"I wouldn't ask Bella to travel somewhere she doesn't want to be." She said. "I would come here, making it easier on everyone."

"Edward, you can't be thinking about this." Bella argued, but I ignored her. Right now, I had to put aside my hatred. Even though she abandoned me, she was still dying. If I let her die, knowing I could have saved me would have lived with me forever. The guilt would never go away.

"I'll think about it?" I told her. "I think it's time for you to leave now."

"Sure," She nodded and stood up. I walked her to the door and without a word, she left. I turned to Bella who was crossing her arms on her rounding belly. She looked shocked and angry with me.

"What?" I asked, not wanting to fight.

"That's a major surgery, Edward." She reminded me. "And for that woman?"

"Without that woman, I wouldn't be here right now." I reminded her. "And neither would you."

"I know, but..."

"I don't even know if I'm going to do it." I told her. "But, if I let her die knowing I could have helped...it would kill me, Bells."

"But what about what she put you through?" She asked, her eyes filling with tears.

"I know, but she's still a person, baby." I shrugged. "I can't explain it...she's still my mom."

"Biologically." Bella sighed. "But, I guess I can understand that."

"Everything will be done and over with long before the babies get here." I assured her. "I'm not trying to have these babies and then three days later have a major surgery."

"I can live with that...I guess." She smiled. "What if you die?"

"What if you die in labor?" I asked. "Everything has risks, Bella, but sometimes the outcomes are worth it."

* * *

Dad was over at the break of dawn the next morning, demanding to know what happened. I danced around the elephant in the room, making both of them breakfast and eating slowly. But, Dad was persistent and he wasn't going to give up.

He wanted to know what the once love of his life was asking.

"Dad, Elizabeth is sick." I finally said. "She has liver cancer."

"Well, I knew that." He sighed. "After I finally found my right foot the other night, we sat down and talked. She explained what was happening to her and..." He trailed off. "She didn't ask you for part of her liver, did she?"

"Yeah, she said if she didn't get a new liver she would die soon." I shrugged. "What do you think I should do?"

"She's your mother, Edward." He reminded me. "It's your decision, but...if it were my mom I would."

"Even if she abandoned you?" Bella asked.

"Liz never wanted to be a mother so it's a miracle she didn't terminate the pregnancy." Dad reminded me. He would be telling me that for the rest of my life. "She didn't want to be a mother. She wanted to be a lawyer and she didn't think she could be a mother and a lawyer."

"Okay, so she chose law school over me?" I asked. "That's not any better than she just left, Dad."

"But, even though she didn't want kids, she was still a mother." He whispered. "She still had that motherly love in her and she had that urge to do whatever was best for you."

"What a crock." Bella laughed.

It was kind of amusing how much she hated Elizabeth.

"Edward, if she had stayed and given up law school...she wouldn't have been a good mother." Dad said softly. "She wouldn't have cuddled with you during a thunder storm, she wouldn't have gone to your piano recitals, and she wouldn't have cared if you had a date to the prom.

"She wanted to give you the best life you could have and...she wasn't in that picture." He explained. "I was in the picture, but she knew if she stayed it would only lead to heartache."

"How do you know this?" Bella asked. "And, how can you defend her after what she did to you?"

"I met Esme and I forgave her for what happened between us." He shrugged. "I loved her and I always will. But, I've forgiven her and I've moved on."

"She didn't even send birthday cards."

"She knew it would hurt you in the long run." Dad told me.

Everything was starting to make a little more sense. She left because she cared enough about me to know what was best for me.

"Yeah, at least your mom had the decency to leave before you could even talk." Bella said bitterly. "You didn't have to waste thirteen years of your life with her."

"Bella, you're mom cared about you more than anyone on this planet and that's why she left." Dad whispered. I turned to him and he looked like he was on the verge of tears.

He knew the real story.

"Your mom and dad loved each other so much...but they weren't good to each other."

"What do you mean?" She asked, sitting up in her chair.

"Bella, they..." He trailed off. "Your parents beat each other. Badly."

"What?" She screamed. "No they didn't."

"Bella, you had to notice all the bruises and cuts." He shook his head. "They've had broken arms before, sweetie."

"They're clumsy people." She shrugged.

"Bella, I was their doctor every time one of them was in the hospital. I was the only doctor who listened to them when they begged the police not to be involved." He sighed. "They weren't clumsy, Bella. They hit each other."

"No,"

"And your mom left because she knew one day, you would end up in the middle." He whispered. "Whether it was in the middle of a court room or in the middle of one of their fights."

"Dad," I sighed. This was a lot to take in, but he was going to tell her the whole story.

"She wanted to give you the best life you could have so...so she left." He said. "But she didn't want to leave you or your father...they loved each other so much. They just...weren't good for each other."

"My dad hit my mom?"

"and that's why they didn't tell you." Dad spoke up. "Because, they didn't want you to hate your dad."

"They wanted me to hate my mom?" She asked, tears streaming down her face. "I don't get it."

"You were thirteen and your dad was your hero. Your mom didn't want to ruin that for you." He shrugged.

"This can't be happening!" She cried. I scooted closer to her and wrapped my arms around her. "I mean...my parents...they...they...beat each...other?" She asked and she was starting to sound very breathy.

"Bella, baby?" I asked. "Honey, breathe."

"They..." She breathed. "Hit...each..." She was starting to hyperventilate. "Oth...er."

"Edward, get a paper bag." Dad ordered as he stood up and walked over to Bella. "Bella, stop. Breathe." But, it was too late. She was having an anxiety attack and there was nothing we could do to stop it. I gave her the bag, but she was so bad that it didn't help.

We got her to the hospital and she was put in a room and given oxygen. Dad said there was nothing we could really do but let her calm down. They gave her something to make her sleep, and I just sat by her side for five hours while she slept, holding her hand.

This was a lot to take in and I couldn't believe my dad just sprung it on her. If Charlie wanted to tell her what happened, he would have. I didn't think my dad had any business telling her. But, I was glad he did. She didn't need to be hating her mother. She was just trying to protect her. If my kids were growing up that house, I would do anything I could to keep them safe.

Even if it meant leaving them.

After about another thirty minutes, she began to stir in her sleep. Her eyes slowly opened and she gave me a sleepy smile.

"Hi, baby." I whispered, getting up and sitting on the side of her bed. "How do you feel?"

"My parents hit each other." She whispered.

"Yeah, they did." I sighed. This was something that would haunt her for the rest of her life. "But, it's going to be okay."

"How?" She whispered. "How can things ever be okay again?"

"Because," I sighed. "Now you can reconcile with your mother. And, maybe you can have a normal relationship with her and she can be involved with our kids lives."

"She'll never forgive me." She cried, a tear streaming down her cheek. "I mean...I ignored her for years and...she was being hit for my dad. She left to protect me and I iced her out."

"You didn't know the story," I protested. "You thought she left you guys for another man, and she didn't."

"Well, I don't think that was entirely a lie." She told me. "She and Phil did marry only nine months after she left."

"Okay, so maybe she was having an affair." I said. "But, she's your mother and she's still waiting for the day for you to be back in her life."

"Then, why didn't she come to the wedding?" She asked.

"The invitation got lost in the mail." I smiled. "Anything could have happened, baby."

"I guess it would be nice for these guys to have at least one grandma." She smiled. "Huh, guys?" She asked, looking down at her stomach and I placed a hand on her tummy. Then, I felt this tiny little bump where my hand was and my eyes lit up.

"Did you feel that?" I asked as she placed her hand next to mine. "You guys want a grandma?" I asked and their was another little bump.

"They're kicking," She cried. "I can't believe this," She smiled as I leaned in and gave her a soft kiss. After a few more minutes, the babies had calmed down and the door opened. Dad came in, looking nervous but his face softened when he saw us smiling at him.

"What's up?" He asked. "You okay, Bella?"

"Dad, they're kicking." She squealed. "Here, come feel." She laughed. HE walked over and placed his hand on her stomach. Bella began talking to them, and his face lit up like a Christmas tree when they finally kicked for him.

"You okay there, dad?" I laughed as he wiped his cheek with his sleeve.

"Shut up." He smiled. "Look, sweetie, I'm really sorry for telling you. I shouldn't have put that much pressure on you...especially not now."

"I'm glad you did." She whispered. "Because, now I can call my mom and we can work things out. As much as I hated her for what happened, I've missed her a lot."

"She's your mom." Dad said softly. "That's to be expected."

"I do have one question though."

"What's that?" He asked.

"When can I get out of here?" She laughed.

"They're gonna watch you overnight." He told her and she whimpered in annoyance. "Just because of the babies."

"Can't have caffeine. Can't have alcohol." She sighed. "And now they're trapping me in the hospital."

"Yeah, damn kids." I laughed, grabbing her hand and squeezing it.

* * *

After a week, I finally made the decision to go ahead with the surgery for Elizabeth. As much as I hated her and what she did, she didn't deserve to die. She made a choice and I had to live with it. It sucked never having her around, but in the end, I got Esme.

And Esme was the best thing that could happen to my dad and I.

"Hello?" She asked when she answered the phone. I could hear a mans voice in the background and I had to suppress the anger boiling inside.

"Hi, Liz." I sighed, just wanting to get this conversation done and over with. "I wanna go ahead with the surgery."

"That's...that's great." She cried eventually and I could hear the happiness in her voice. It made me feel good about doing something I didn't really want to do. "I mean, we have to make sure you're a match, but...that's wonderful."

"Yeah," I nodded. "Well, I'll have my dad do the blood test and get back to you."

"Great," She said and I could just see the huge grin on her face. "I guess I'll talk to you soon?" She asked.

"Yeah," I sighed and hung up. I didn't want the woman to die, that didn't mean that I liked her and wanted to be her BFF. I put my phone in my back pocket as I stood up to go back upstairs. Bella was less than thrilled when I told her what I decided, but being the amazing girl she was, told me she was going to support me in whatever I wanted to do.

"So, I just called her." I said as I walked into our room. I began pulling my PJ shirt over my head to get ready for the day. Since I wouldn't be able to play for a good month, and with the twins on the way, we were trying to play as many gigs as we could get.

And, to get gigs, we needed to be at our best. So, we were having longer rehearsals, but everyone understood thats what we had to do.

"She was crying and I even heard her idiot husband in the background crying too." I laughed. "What a little pussy." I said as I pulled my jeans up. I went and grabbed the brush off the dresser and began to comb my hair, but when she still didn't saying anything, I got a little worried. "Bella?"

I went into our bathroom and there was nothing. And, she wasn't downstairs or in the computer room.

"Baby?" I called, as I paced back into our room, hoping she somehow appeared. It wasn't until I was dialing 911 that I noticed the sheet of paper on the bed.

'Babe, gone with Alice to Florida. Things need to be cleared up and I knew you wouldn't have let me go. There's food in the fridge for you and we should be back in a few days. Love you. -Bella'

"If she wasn't pregnant with my kids..." I seethed as I rolled the paper into a ball. I couldn't believe she'd scared me like that and that she didn't think I'd let her go. She was a grown woman and she didn't my permission to do things anymore. Plus, the doctor said she was okay to travel for a little bit longer so the babies weren't at any harm.

"Bella Marie," I sighed as I grabbed my phone and dialed Jasper's number.


	23. Race You to the Waterside

**Chapter Twenty-Three:** **Race You to the Waterside**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"Bella?" Alice asked when she opened the door. "What's up?"

"Pack a bag." I laughed. "We're going to Jacksonville." I smiled as I pushed her aside and walked into the apartment. Jasper was no where in sight, so I figured he was already at the rehearsal.

"Florida?" She asked, looking at me dumfounded. "Bells, what's going on?"

"My mom isn't as heartless as I thought." I shrugged. "It's a long story, but...I just need to see her."

"Why don't you and Edward just go?" She asked. I knew I was asking a lot from her, but she was the one who sat with me when I cried for my mom. And she was the one I yelled at about how awful of a person my mom was. She was the only one who knew everything I went through when she left.

"Because, you're my best friend." I whispered. "And, Edward doesn't know everything that I went through when she walked out the door." I told her. "You do though."

"So, shorts and tank tops?" She asked as she opened her dresser drawer. This was why she was my best friend. I didn't even have to tell her anything and she agreed to do whatever I asked her to do. And I would do the same thing for her. We packed her a small suitcase, she called Jasper, and we headed to LAX.

It was a long day of traveling since it was last minute. We had two layovers, but it was worth it when we finally got to Jacksonville. Before leaving LA, I managed to find an envelope from a card she'd sent me with the return address stamped on the top. I prayed that's where they still lived as Alice and I got a cab.

Once the cab dropped me off though, my nerves started getting to me. What did I say to her? Hey, I heard you were beaten by my dad so I forgive you? I hadn't spoken to the woman in almost ten years and there was a big possibility that she had given up and just didn't care anymore.

"Go, Bella." Alice pushed. "I'm here if you need anything." She smiled as she sat down on the bus bench across the street from her house. I smiled at her and made my way up to the door.

"You can do this," I whispered to myself as I knocked on the door. "You guys might have a grandma after all." I whispered as I rubbed my belly. I waited for what seemed like forever until I heard someone unlocking the door. It swung open and I was face to face with Phil...

The man she left my dad for.

"Hi," I squeaked.

"Can I help you?" He asked.

"Hi," I said again. "Phil...right?"

"Yeah, that's me." He nodded as he crossed his arms. I seethed with anger when I saw his ring on his finger, but pushed it down. I wasn't here for him.

"Is my mom here?" I blurted out. "I'm Bella. Renee is my mom." I explained when his face softened. "Is she here?" I asked confused when I saw his eyes filling with tears.

"No one talked to you?" He asked, his voice breaking with sadness.

"Talked to me?" I asked. "About what?"

"Bella," He whispered. "Renee died two years ago in a car accident." He told me and I felt the earth crumble beneath me. Died? My mother was dead? And, she'd been dead for years now.

"No," I sobbed. "She's not dead. No, she can't be."

"Her family was supposed to get in touch with you and your dad." He explained. "I can't believe they didn't."

"Why did you think I wasn't at the funeral?" I asked, trying not to snap at him.

"I didn't think you wanted to be there." He shrugged. "I'm so sorry, Bella."

"I wanna know everything." I told him as I tried to keep it together. He nodded and let me inside the house. I smiled when I saw Alice still sitting there, even though I was going inside. He led me to the kitchen and offered me a seat.

"When are you due?" He asked when he noticed my belly.

"Five months or so," I whispered. "Please don't try and dance around the subject. I just wanna know what happened."

"Okay," He said taking a deep breath.

Phil told me _everything_ that happened that night. Everything that had happened that whole week after her death even. From the last time he saw her to the moment they buried her. I was sobbing uncontrollably by the end and I wished I had let Edward come with me. Alice was great and all, but I just needed my husband.

"Where...where is she buried?" I choked out.

"Hale Cemetery." He whispered. I thanked him for telling me what happened and raced out of the house. I didn't want to be associated with him when my mom was alive and this was no different. Alice looked worried as I walked across the street, but she didn't press me on anything. She called us a cab and when it finally got there, I was a mess.

"Call Edward." I whispered as I got inside. I told the driver where to go and Alice look like she'd gotten hit by a car or something. She grabbed my hand and gave it a tight squeeze. I turned and gave her a sad smile, but I didn't say anything.

Once we got to the cemetery, I found someone to ask where exactly she was. He gave me a solemn smile before looking at one of his maps and led me right to it.

_**Renne Swan-Dwyer**_

_**1967-2014**_

_**Beloved Wife and Mother**_

_Swan-Dwyer_? She had the nerve to keep my fathers name I thought to myself.

But then I remembered the reason I was here. She was dead and that wasn't the thing that should be bothering me.

Beloved Mother...except when she died...I still hated her guts. I hadn't spoken to her in seven and a half years at that point in time. And then, it hit me like a ton of bricks. I hadn't spoken to my mother in nine and a half years and now I was finding out that she was gone forever. The last thing I told her was...

_Go to hell you stupid bitch._

I remember that fight vividly. She had come over to grab the last of her things before officially moving in with Phil and leaving Forks. She tried talking to me, she tried apologizing...but I didn't want to hear it. I just wanted to be with my dad because I thought she was being selfish.

And maybe she was being selfish. Instead of trying to fix their marriage problems, she gave up on him. If Edward and I were doing what they were doing, I'd want to give my kids a shot at a normal life. Everything was so messed up that I didn't even know how to feel.

* * *

I couldn't tell you how long I sat in the grass in front of her grave. It was just...it wasn't right. No one should lose their mother on the terms that we were on. I never planned on hating her for my whole life, but at the time I wasn't ready to forgive her yet. I figured once I had the twins, I'd be all emotional and want her back in my life.

"Hi," A familiar voice whispered. I turned around and tears filled my eyes when I saw Edward standing there. He helped me stand up and wrapped me tightly in his arms. I immediately felt better with him, but I began to sob. "Shhhh," He hushed as he stroked my back.

"How...how did you get here so fast?" I asked as I wiped my cheeks with my hands.

"I was already at baggage claim when Alice called." He smiled. "Jasper told me where you two had run off to."

"That damn Jasper." I giggled. "My moms dead, Edward."

"Yeah, I know the feeling." He nodded sadly. I could tell all the memories of losing Esme were rushing back. "What happened?" He asked as he led me to a small bench nearby under a palm tree.

"Phil had a baseball game that night and they won." I started. "And his team wanted to go out and celebrate, but she wasn't feeling too great. He gave her the car keys and told her he'd...he'd find a ride." I said as tears began to stream down my cheek again. "He told her he'd see her soon.

"So, she walked back to the car and pulled out of the lot...everything was fine." I choked. "But, not even five miles away from the stadium...someone who'd gotten drunk at the game came racing towards her. She...she didn't even have time to swerve because he told me she was hit head on."

"Oh, Bella." This was too eerie of what happened with Esme. The more I told him, the more I realized how similar it was.

"And...she died on impact." I told him. "They didn't even have time to try and save her. Phil didn't even get to say goodbye to her." I sobbed. Phil not saying goodbye was suddenly hitting me hard for some reason. This was the first time I'd met him, but he loved her. I could tell how much he loved her when I was in the house they used to share.

He still wore his wedding band. Even after two years.

"He loved her so much and...he didn't get a chance to say goodbye." I sobbed. I was hysterical right now. "And he thought my grandparents had gotten in touch with me and I just didn't care. What kind of daughter doesn't go to her own mothers funeral. And, what kind of grandparents don't tell their only grandchild that her mother it dead?"

"I don't know, baby." He whispered. I could tell her was holding back his own tears for me. "I'm so sorry."

"I thought what your dad told me was like...my second chance." I whispered. "I thought they might have a shot at having a grandma."

"Me too," He said even though he was thinking his mom could still be _#1 Mom and Worlds Greatest Grandma_. "Did you try talking to your grandparents?"

"They weren't around much when my mom was married to my dad." I shrugged. "I don't even know where they live...they obviously loved Phil." I snorted in disgust.

"You don't know that." He pointed out.

"Why is it Swan-Dwyer?" I asked when I looked back at the stone. "Why would she still have my fathers name?"

"She legally changed it when she got married?" He guessed. "That's something you should ask Phil."

"I am not talking to him again."

"Bella, whether you like it or not...you're connected to this guy now." He whispered. "You two both lost someone very special to you."

"She wasn't special to me, Edward." I reminded him. "It's been almost ten years and I was finally ready to forgive her. Since she's left she'd been the scum of the universe."

"Babe,"

"And who knows." I snapped. "Maybe I'd still hate her after talking to her today if she were alive."

"Maybe," He agreed.

"So, no. I do not want to be associated with the man she left us for." I told him matter of factly. I felt horrible for Phil, but I wasn't going to step in and be the step-daughter he might have wanted. He was part of the reason mom took off and I'd never forgive him for that.

We sat there until the sun began to set. And, even though Edward had to literally drag me away and over to the cab he had called. The ride to the motel was silent and I was fighting tears the entire way.

I just didn't think this would actually happen.

* * *

Edward wouldn't let us stay in Jacksonville for very long. He let me grieve at the cemetery for a day before he dragged Alice and I back to the airport. It was so difficult. On one hand I didn't want to be there any longer, but on the other hand I didn't want to leave her yet.

I wasn't ready to let go yet, but she'd already been gone for a while before I got there.

I didn't have a choice.

Alice refused to leave my side once we got home. She insisted in stayed in the small guest room, and even called Jasper to ask him to bring her a bag. I kept telling her to go home, but she told me if it were her she knew I'd never leave her.

She was right.

"Are you sure you want me to go?" Edward asked as I practically pushed him out the door. I didn't want to be babied, I just wanted things to get back to normal.

"Yes, please just go." I begged. "I want you to make as much money as you can while you're able and before the babies are born."

"Just call if you need me." He smiled as he leaned down to kiss me. He bent down and softly kissed my growing tummy before grabbing his things and leaving the house. Once his car was out of the driveway, I went to the fridge, grabbed a gallon of ice cream and crawled into bed. I hugged my mothers old blanket and sobbed as I turned on old home movies from when I was a baby.

I just needed Edward to think I was okay.

"Forgot my..." I was sobbing so hard I hadn't even heard Edward walk back inside the house. "I forgot my phone," He whispered as he sat down on the bed next to me. I tried to recover, but it was pointless. He was staying here for as long as I needed him. And, as much as I wanted him to go, I was glad he was going to stay.

I needed him more than anything.

"Is this what you do when I leave the house?" He asked as I snuggled close to him.

"You've only really left me to go to the store, and that only took a few minutes." I shrugged. He kissed the top of my head before getting out of bed and grabbing him phone off the dresser. While he was on the phone with Jasper, I scooped up a big spoonful of ice creme and began devouring it.

"You want a bowl?" He laughed when he walked back inside.

"Nope, I'm good." I giggled.

"There's that smile." He whispered as he took my spoon and took a bite for himself. "I love you so much. And, our kids are going to have the best life possible."

"With you as a dad, it would be hard to fail." I smiled. "It's gonna be okay, right?

"When Esme died, I didn't think things could ever be the same." He said, and I stared at him dumbfounded. He never talked about Esme and even when she first died he didn't talk about her. "I didn't even think the world could keep on spinning without her."

"How is this supposed to make me feel better?" I asked.

"Just listen," He smiled. "Anyway, the earth did keep spinning. Rosalie grew up, and my dad went back to work." He shrugged. "As hard as it was and as much as he still misses her...he's living his life. He's got good friends at the hospital now and I saw him being a little flirty with some of the nurses when we were there last time."

"Really?" I asked.

"He's lonely, Bella. I don't think it'll go past flirting and maybe a date or two." He told me. "But, my point is...things are okay now. He's never going to get over her and I'm going to miss her everyday...but it's okay to miss her. It's not okay to crawl into a ball and not live your life."

"I think it'd be good for Dad to go on a date." I mused, ignoring Edward. "I mean I'm not saying he has to marry her, but a date might be nice."

"Yeah, I think a date would be good for him." He agreed.

"We should set him up." I smiled.

"I think we shouldn't be getting involved in his love life." He shocked his head, kissing the top of my head. "Let's order a pizza and spend the day together in bed."

"What about the band?" I asked. I really didn't want him sacrificing stuff for me while I cried about my dead mother.

"Jasper can handle it for a day." He shrugged. "He ordered me to stay here and take care of you."

"He did, did he?"

"Yep." He laughed. "I told him we could just move the rehearsal back because I knew _you'd_ be telling me to go," He winked at me. "But he said not to worry about it."

"I'm glad you have him." I smiled, thinking about my friendship with Jake and Alice. I wouldn't change my best friends for anything in the world. I knew they'd be telling me the same thing if Edward were in my shoes.

"Yeah, life just wouldn't be the same without Jasper Daniel Whitlock." He laughed. "I love you, Bella. And...I don't want you to think you have to do this alone." He whispered. "You were so good to me and my family when Esme died. Let me return the favor."


	24. If You Need It

**Chapter Twenty-Four: If You Need It**

* * *

**Edward's POV**

I wish I could say things got better once we were home for a while. But, they didn't get better...in fact they got worse. Bella couldn't even get out of bed unless it was to go to the bathroom. I wouldn't say she was depressed...but she was depressed.

It hurt knowing there was nothing I could to help her. She barely even talked to me and it was slowly breaking my heart. The only time we talked was when we said good morning and goodnight to each other. I wanted so badly to help her, but I didn't know how. When Esme died, she was my best friend in the entire world. But, with Renee...how do you get over your mother dying after you hated her for most of your life?

So, I did what she asked me to. I brought her soup and ice creme when she asked and made sure she was comfortable in bed. I let Jasper handle things with the band, even though she protested. But, I told her it was to help prepare for the babies while she was refusing to get out of bed.

I didn't lie to her. I got the paint and painting the nursery yellow and put the jungle animal decals up. I put the cribs together and figured out what formula they would need. I was losing it with all the baby stuff, but she was counting on me.

Dad helped a lot. He bought the right formula and the good diapers. He picked out the safest care seats and even helped me pack Bella's overnight bag. It was still early, but he told me Esme had hers packed the day she was in her second trimester.

"I just...I wish I knew what to do." I sighed as dad made us coffee after a long day of baby shopping. We spent two hours in Baby Gap, picking out onsies and newborn outfits. I didn't understand why a newborn would need a dress but Dad told me it was important. I felt so bad because Bella was so excited to do these things for the twins and she was missing it. "I mean, I'm her husband I should know what to do."

"Just because you're her husband doesn't mean you're going to know _all_ the answers, Edward." He shrugged as he sat down. "I mean, I knew Esme most of your life and I was married to her for five years and I still had no clue what to do some of the time." He explained. "Plus, Bella's hormones are all over the place with the pregnancy."

"So...it's not just because her mom died?" I asked, confused.

"I mean it is because her mom died," He said. "But I don't think she'd be this upset if she wasn't pregnant...with twins."

"I just want to help her." I wined like a seven year old. "I mean...it's been three weeks."

"Yeah," He whispered. "But, this is helping her. Because once she snaps out of this she'll go crazy trying to make up for lost time and she'll stress herself out too much."

"Then I should just keep doing what I'm doing?" I asked. "Nothing else? I feel like I should be doing more. Comforting her or something, but every time I try she pushes me away."

"For now jst try and get her on her feet. I think getting her out of bed will help her feel better."

"Dad?"

"Yeah, Edward?" He asked.

"What if she doesn't snap out of this?" I asked.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." He smiled, taking a sip of his coffee. But, I could see it in his eyes that he wasn't sure either. Just as we were finishing with our coffee, the doorbell rang. Dad got up to answer the door while I cleaned up the mess we'd made.

I turned around after drying to coffee pot and was stunned to see Charlie standing there. He came down for Thanksgiving and Christmas, but for the most part he stayed in Forks. He talked to Bella a lot during the week, but it was weird to have him here when it wasn't a holiday.

"Hi, Charlie." I smiled. Even though Bella called my dad 'Dad' I didn't feel comfortable calling Charlie that. My dad was like a second dad to Bella, but Charlie was pretty much a stranger to me.

"Bella hasn't talked to me in weeks." He shrugged. "I wanted to see if she was okay."

"No she's not okay!" I yelled. "She just found out everything about her mother was a lie!"

"Edward," Dad whispered. "Don't."

"You and her mom _beat_ each other?" I asked, my blood boiling. "You didn't bother to tell her that? You just let her think her mother was a monster for leaving and...you were both responsible for what happened."

"You _told_ them?" Charlie asked, turing to my dad. "I trusted you, Carlisle."

"Well...you were never going to tell her, Charlie." Dad said matter-of-factly. "And she's pregnant and I think those babies deserve to know their grandmother."

"That's not your decision to make!" Charlie yelled.

"Mom's dead." I heard Bella say. I turned to see her standing in the archway to the kitchen. She looked awful. She was in one of my old tshirts...the same one she'd been in for a week. Her hair wasn't brushed and she had the darkest spots under her eyes.

"Babe," I whispered. "Go back to bed."

"Mom's dead, Dad." She said, no emotion in her voice. "She died two years ago and no one bothered to tell me. Even her parents didn't call us." From the expression on Charlie's face, this wasn't a surprise to him.

"You _knew_?" I asked appalled.

"Of course not!" He defended. "Renee's parents called me a few years ago and I thought they were going to ask for something so I ignored their calls."

"They...they called?" Bella cried, tears streaming down her face. "They called to tell me and you ignored them?"

"Bells, if I knew what they were going to say I would have picked up the phone."

"So...you beat my mother and she leaves. You tell me she didn't want you anymore...making me hate her. I don't speak to her for almost ten years and you ignore the call saying she's dead?" Bella asked. "How could you, dad."

"Renee thought it was best not to tell you about what happened between us." Wrong move, Charlie.

"That isn't the point, Dad!" She yelled. "You hit her! And I know she hit you...but you were my hero."

"Bella," Charlie sighed, bowing his head. "I'm still your dad."

"You hit my mom." She sobbed. "You're a cop! You arrest people for this!"

"We were young and passionate and stubborn, Bella." He sighed. "We didn't like to lose arguments and one night long before we were married...she slapped me when we were arguing. This started a pattern...and one day I snapped."

"Okay, hit her once because you lose your temper." She shrugged. "Keep going.

"And this started another patten. We broke up multiple times, Bella. We just couldn't stay away from each other." He told her. "The last time we got back together, we were able to keep it together long enough for me to propose."

"She said yes and you slapped her?" I asked, earning a smack in the head from my own dad.

"No. We went to couples therapy before we got married and things were great." He said. "And then after we were married, we started arguing again and the hitting started again." He explained. "Then when we found out we were pregnant...we vowed to never hit each other again."

"How long did that last?" She asked quietly.

"About...six years?" He said. "We got into an argument about if you should play soccer or go to dance class." He whispered. "She wanted you to be a little ballerina so she slapped me."

"And the pattern continued." She whispered.

"Yeah, the pattern continued." He said, not looking at her. At least he was ashamed. "Finally one night we were fighting and it wasn't until I had her...pinned to the wall with tears in her eyes...that we realized that it wasn't working. That we couldn't be together."

"So, you being the little broken bird...was an act?" I asked.

"No. Bella, you're mother and I loved each other so much...it was intense and I loved every second with her. We just were't good for each other so when she filed for divorce...we were both heart broken."

"But she was cheating?" She asked.

"That I didn't find out until you told me she had Phil a few weeks later." He told her. "That reaction was real. I didn't know so that hurt like hell."

"I just don't get it." I whispered. "I mean, Bella and I are young, passionate, and stubborn but I'd never in a million years hit her."

"You two are very different from Renee and I." He shrugged. "And I swear I had no idea...that she was dead, Bella." He said and I could see the tears in his eyes. "Believe me...I would have been there if I knew."

Dad grabbed my arm and pulled me into the living room to give them their privacy. Iflinched when I heard a glass breaking, but Dad kept me from interfering. They had to deal with this themselves.

Finally, after an hour Charlie was walking out of the kitchen. Dad led him to the frontdoor and I went into the kitchen to see Bella. She was sitting down, her face in her hands...she looked completely broken.

"When is the transplant scheduled for?" She asked after she splashed her face with cold water.

"We pushed it back. Until you were okay."

"Schedule it." She demanded "And for soon."

"Babe, we can wait."

"I'm not going to get better if you just keep doing things for me!" She snapped. "If I have something to do, like take care of you, I'll feel better faster."

"If you really want me to, I'll call Liz and talk to dad to schedule the surgery."

"Good. Do it." She sighed. " Now, please." She whispered and I got up and went to dad who was putting what we bought today in the nursery.

"She wants me to schedule the transplant."

"I heard." He smiled. "I'll talk to Marcus and get everything set."

"I'm scared to do this, Dad." I admitted.

"I'd be concerned if you weren't." He said, putting his hand on my shoulder. "You go sit with Bella, I'll finish up here."

"Thanks, Dad." I smiled as I walked to the door. "For everything."

* * *

The next day, I woke up to the sound of pots banging and when I rolled over, I was surprised to see Bella wasn't there. I smiled as I got up and went into our bathroom to brush my teeth. Once I was dressed for the day, I made my way down to the kitchen and took a deep breath.

She was making cookies.

And there was enough cookies to feed the entire hospital after the surgery.

"You're up early." I whispered as I hugged her from behind. Her muscles immediately relaxed as she leaned into me. "What are you up to?"

"Stress baking." She giggled as she turned around in my arms. "Don't you remember what happened the week of the AP Calc test?" She asked.

"I do...but wasn't it brownies that time?" I asked as I leaned down to kiss her.

"I thought I'd change it up."

"Good, I mean your brownies are good," I sighed, taking a peanut butter cookie. "But your cookies are...heavenly."

"I only aim to please, Mr. Cullen." She giggled as she turned back to the dough she was mixing. Although I was happy to have her up and about, she wasn't acting like herself. The last time she baked like this was right before her finals at the end of senior year.

"So, why are you stress baking?" I asked as she put another batch in the over. She stood still, looking at the timer for a minute before turning to me, tears in her eyes. "Please, don't cry."

"I missed almost a month." She whispered. "You did all the shopping...I didn't even get to help put the cribs together."

"There's still plenty to be done," I reminded her."

"I didn't get to paint or decorate the nursery." She cried as I stood up and walked over to her. "I mean, I'm really glad you did that and I'm glad we're prepared for when they come...but that's stuff I wanted to do."

"I can take it apart."

"No, I don't want you to do that," She smiled. "It's just...and now your'e having the surgery and I'm just trying to cope with everything that's happened and everything that is going to happen."

"It's going to be fine." I assured her. "Dad won't be doing the surgery, but he's going to be looking over me nonstop and I can guarantee he'll be the one deciding what the doctors do while I'm recovering."

"You're having surgery, Edward." She whispered. "You're not...this isn't playtime like when we were kids. Someone is actually going to cut you up and take something out of your body. I don't care if Jesus is perfuming the surgery...until you're safe in our bed...I'm going to be baking up a storm."

"Okay," I nodded. I wasn't going to fight her because I knew it was true. Dad came home countless times upset that he'd lost a patient that was having a very routine procedure done. I didn't want to give her false hope, even though I knew I would be fine. Anything could happen, but I had to be positive.

Or else I'd never get onto the operating table.

While Bella baked away in the kitchen, I called Jasper and asked him to meet me for coffee. Something about this surgery just wasn't right and when I thought about it, it was because I hadn't told Jasper yet. He knew about my mom coming, but he didn't know I was going through with the transplant. It had been so busy making the decision and then everything happened with Bella.

He was already at the small shop by the time I pulled in and he had a table for us. I sat down and fiddled with my wedding band until he sighed loudly.

"Are we just going to sit here or..." He trailed off.

"I'm...I'm doing the surgery for Liz." I sighed and he stared at me wide eyed. "The surgery is next Saturday."

"You don't give us much room to work, Edward." He snapped and I was taken aback. Jasper was always cool, calm, and collected. For the longest time, I thought he was just high all the time. "I mean, good for you for taking care of the fucking bitch who abandoned you, but at least give us time to prep!"

"Jasper, you're going to have everything you need."

"No we won't!" He yelled, and people were starting to look at us. "It'll take a month for you to even consider starting to play again and by that time...Bella's gonna be so pregnant you aren't going to be able to leave her alone and then the twins will be here!"

"Jazz, please calm down." I whispered. "It'll be okay."

"It won't though." He sighed, his cheeks red. "You're...you're going to be a dad. Felix and Jane are getting married next summer and Emmett's got Kate."

"Jasper," I never really thought he would be so upset about Bella and the babies. Which was stupid. It had always been Jasper and Edward. No girls for more than a few months and no responsibility. I never realized how much he thought we were drifting apart. "Why are you acting like you're going to be alone?"

"Cause you're going to be busy with your new family." He shrugged.

"You have Alice, man." I reminded her. "Remember? Dark hair. Very short. Incredibly cute. You know...you're wife?"

"I know I have my wife, Edward." He snarled. "But I can't give her what she wants...so who knows how long she'll actually be my wife."

"Wait, back up." I said, stunned. "What do you mean you 'can't give her what she wants?'"

"I mean Alice and I can't have a kid." He whispered. "We've been trying for a really long time...since before our wedding." He told me and I was kind of stunned. They'd never said anything and I thought they were happy with just the two of them.

"Jasper, why didn't you say anything?" I asked.

"Because she was upset and frustrated." He told me. "First Leah gets pregnant in the blink of an eye and then you two get pregnant with twins without even trying."

"How do you know that you really can't?" I asked. "Maybe it's just not happening for some reason."

"We've been to like five doctors, Edward." He sighed. "We aren't going to have a baby...or at least I'm not going to get Alice pregnant."

"What are your other options?"

"Sergeancy. Adoption. That's about it." He explained. "But, I still can't give my wife a baby."

"Alice isn't going to leave you." I assured her. "She loves you way too much to even think about leaving you...even if it were just for a day."

"Right now though, Edward, this band is all I have." He whispered. "Alice is dealing with this right now and I'm trying to give her the space she's asking for. But,"

"You feel like the band is slipping away." I whispered and it was true. All of us were growing up and the band was becoming a good memory. We got better and better everyday, but it wasn't the same. We weren't digging for gigs to play and we weren't popping out new songs every week.

Our dreams were becoming very different than what they were when we were twenty years old.

"It is slipping away, Edward." He said.

"Okay, I'm not dying." I sighed. "I can still write music and you can hold rehearsal while I'm in the hospital. And, after a few weeks I can go with you, I just can't play." I told him. "And yeah, once the babies get here it's going to be different. But, this is good too."

"I just always pictured us playing at the Super Bowel or something one day."

"Me too," I smiled. "But dreams change. And, that's not a bad thing, Jasper."

"You're going to have to remind me every once in a while."

"I will." I laughed. "I promise."


	25. Hear Me Now

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Hear Me Now**

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"Bella?" I heard Carlisle's soft voice whisper as he gently shook me. I opened my eyes and squinted at the bright hospital lights and looked over to see him sitting next to me. "Edward's out of surgery."

"Good," I smiled as I put my head back on his shoulder. It had been a long eight hours, and we'd been in the hospital for longer than that. Carlisle and I took our turns pacing and eating and just slumping in our chairs in the waiting room. But, as it neared the fourteen hour mark that we'd been awake, I just couldn't keep my eyes open.

"Bells?" He asked again. I lifted my head again and looked at him, kind of annoyed that he was keeping me awake. "Did you hear what I said?"

"Yeah," I nodded as I yawned. "Edward's in surgery."

"No, sweetie." He laughed. "He's out of surgery." He smiled and I bolted upright.

"I need to see him." I barked.

"He's in the ICU." Dad explained. "Sam told me they'd come get us when he was awake and alert."

"Did they say how everything went?" I asked nervously. Sure he was out of surgery but anything could happen. He could be dead right now because they left a towel in him. It was unlikely, but Carlisle told us anything was possible.

"It went great," He smiled, but then he looked down at his shoes. "They're still working on Liz."

"Oh I don't care." I shrugged and he gave me his disappointed look. "Sorry, but I don't."

"Bella, if Edward wants to pursue a relationship with his biological mother...I hope you'll be supportive of him." He whispered. "Edward's been waiting his whole life for her to come back, an if you don't support him getting to know her, he won't bother."

"He's a big boy, Dad." I reminded him. "He can do whatever he wants to do."

"But he doesn't wanna do anything that will upset you."

"Mr. Todd?" A nurse asked and we both turned to Liz's husband in the corner. He looked awful, worse than Carlisle and I. Liz explained the other day when Edward asked her to breakfast that her husband was taking this extra hard. Especially since he had no idea Edward even existed until she was diagnosed with cancer.

From the smile and the small laugh, Liz was out of surgery and being rolled to recovery. The nurse walked back to the restricted area and I saw Mr. Todd walking over to us.

"Thank you so much," He cried, holding out his hand.

"It's not our liver." I scoffed. "You should be thanking Edward."

"I will, but I know as a spouse...this couldn't have been easy on you." He whispered. "And I'm just very grateful for your husband and you. And your father."

"Edward has a big heart," I shrugged as I took his hand. "He wouldn't even want a chipmunk to die if he had the chance to help it."

Carlisle and I waited in the lobby for another half hour before Marcus came and got us. He led us to the ICU room Edward was in and it was unsettling. There were wires running in and out of him and the beeping was taking over the entire room. Carlisle slid the chair next to his bed and told me to sit.

I sat down and gently grabbed his hand. They wouldn't let him come to the hospital with his ring, and it was so strange seeing his left hand so bare. I teared up at the thought of him possibly dying...even though he was out of surgery.

"There is still a chance of infection," Marcus said softly. "But, he's doing great. I think he'll make a quick, full recovery."

While they talked in the corner, I just sat and looked at my beautiful husband. And I just thought of what I told Liz's husband and how true it really was. I remember hitting a deer on the highway once and he wanted to call the animal 911 so it would be okay.

Finally, after two hours of sitting with him, he was finally moving around. I looked up and saw him staring up at the ceiling and burst into tears.

"Hi, baby." I whispered as I stood up and pushed his hair off his forehead. "How are you?"

"Ow," He smiled weakly. I giggled as I kissed his forehead. "How's Liz?" He asked and I was taken aback. He just got out of major surgery and the first thing he wants to know is how she is? Edward was too good for me sometimes.

"I haven't heard anything." I whispered. I noticed Carlisle step out of the room as I sat down in the chair next to him. "The doctors said it went really well. They think you might even live."

"You know, they didn't think I was gonna make it." He smiled. "I heard them talking as they wheeled me down the hall." He told me and my eyes immediately filled with tears. "Bella?"

"I'm sorry." I sniffed. "I just...I just thought about you not coming out of surgery."

"Baby, I was just trying to make a joke." He said. "Please don't cry."

"It's the damn hormones." I cried. "Your life just isn't some joke, Edward. Every...time the door opened I prayed it wasn't your doctor coming to tell us something had gone wrong."

"I won't joke about that anymore." He smiled, cupping my cheek with his hand. "Okay?" He asked as the door swung opened again.

"They just put Liz into a room." Carlisle told us and I smiled at him. He could still care so much about her even after everything that happened. "Things were a little more difficult than they suspected, but she's stable."

"Is she going to be okay?" I asked, because no matter how much I didn't like the woman...my husband did for some reason. He had the attachment to her that he never knew he had.

"They're going to watch her closely, but yes." He sighed. "I think she's going to be fine."

Edward passed out again shortly after Carlisle found out about Liz. He took my place while I went to get coffee and call my dad and Jasper to give them an update. Once I was finished, I walked back to the room and smiled. Both of them were sound asleep and I took this time to just walk around the hospital.

I didn't know where I was going, but I figured they needed time alone together. This day was possibly scarier for Carlisle than it was for me. I knew he needed that peace with his son. I was going to walk to the nursery, but I found myself standing outside of another room in the ICU, without even realizing it.

Liz was hooked up to all the same wires that Edward was, but she didn't look as good. Her husband wasn't in their with her, so I slid the glass door open and walked over to her. She just looked so sickly. I looked up at her face and realized she didn't have any hair. She had been wearing a wig.

"She wasn't kidding," I whispered as I came to the realization why Edward felt the need to do this for her. No matter what, she was his mother and if I were being honest with myself, I would have done the same for my mom. Whether she'd walked out or not.

"She's not a monster." I heard someone whisper. I turned around to see her husband standing there, a cup of coffee in his hands. "Once she told me she had a son a long time ago, she explained to me everything. Liz is a good person. She's always fighting for the little guy.

"We're pretty similar, Liz and I. It isn't like we're some big monsters who hate kids. We love kids, we just don't want our own. And I'm sorry if you think we're terrible people, but we're really not. We just have different dreams than others." He sighed. "If it helps, she said she cried for months after leaving Edward and his dad. It took a long time for her to find someone else as...good as Carlisle."

"She told you that?" I asked. I would never tell Edward something like that.

"We promised to always be honest with each other." He shrugged. "And after keeping Edward a secret, she felt like I deserved to know the entire truth. "Leaving wasn't a happy moment for her, Bella. It was the hardest thing she'd ever done, but she knew she needed to."

"I guess as someone who is about to have two babies, it's hard to imagine how someone could just leave." I sighed, placing my hand over my growing belly. "I love these guys more than anything in this world and I haven't held them in my hands yet."

"Then I guess we should agree to disagree." He smiled sadly. I did feel bad for him. To hear something like what she told him would be unthinkable. But, it was just hard to feel bad for them. Right now at least. I turned to leave, but he stopped me before I could. "You like the cribs?"

"What?" I asked, confused.

"The cribs Liz bought for you two." He answered. "And the changing table and rocking chair."

"Those things...Liz bought us that?" I asked. I thought my dad had given us the money for their cribs and Edward found good deals on the rest of the furniture.

"Yes." He smiled. "She told Edward she wasn't trying to buy your love...she just wanted to do something for them. She wanted to buy everything in the store, but Edward stopped her before she could."

"Right," I said as I backed out of the room and walked out. I walked into Edward's room, and smiled. He was still sleeping, and Carlisle was almost laying in the bed with him. "Carlisle?" I asked, gently placing my hand on his shoulder. He jerked awake and wiped the drool from the corner of his mouth.

"Yeah?" He asked, his voice rough from tiredness.

"Go home." I smiled. "Go sleep before you have to get up and take Rosalie to school."

"I'm...I'm fine." He lied as he yawned. "You should go home and get some rest. You're not going to be getting much of that soon." He smiled as he nodded at my stomach.

"Well one of us has to stay and I don't have a kid in school yet." I laughed. "Please go so I can go home while Rose is in school."

"Fine, but you aren't staying at this hospital all week." He told me as he stood up. He gently kissed my forehead and walked out of the room. I sat down in the chair and grabbed his hand, just breathing deeply. Thanking whoever was up there for taking care of him.

"I love you," I whispered, pushing the hair out of his face. "So so much."

* * *

Carlisle had been right. The day after the surgery was the worst for him. He was in constant pain and he was in and out of sleep all day. Jasper came to see him, but he was out the entire time so he just decided to come back the next day. I told Carlisle to spend the day with Rosalie since it was Saturday and I'd go home on Sunday to sleep and shower and such.

"Bella?" He asked Sunday morning just after Carlisle had gotten there. "Alice can't have kids." He told me. "Not naturally anyway...she needs you more than I do."

"Edward?" I asked, looking at Carlisle. "Why are...what?"

"Jasper told me last week." He shrugged. "And maybe I shouldn't be saying anything but I feel like this is something she won't tell you on her own."

"Why...Edward."

"Go home and sleep." He urged. "But, make sure you go see her before coming back to me." He told me. "Dad's here. I'll be fine,"

"Okay, I'll go see them before coming back."

"Good." He smiled. "Jasper thinks I'm abandoning him, but I'm not. We want the same things with you and Alice...but he can't get her pregnant."

"Thanks for telling me." I smiled as I leaned down and brushed my lips against his forehead. Carlisle smiled at me as I grabbed my bag and headed out the door.

"Bella?" Jasper asked when he opened the door. "What are you doing here? Is Edward okay?" He panicked. "Did something happen?"

"No, he's fine." I assured him. "Really, he is."

"Well, no offense, but why are you here?" He asked when he let me inside. "Why aren't you nursing him back to health."

"He made me come here to talk to Alice." I explained and he raised his eyebrows at me. "He told me about...about you two not being able to have kids."

"Damn," He snapped. "I wasn't even supposed to tell him! The only people that know are Alice and I, our doctor, and Alice's mother because she cried over the phone to her for three hours after we got the news."

"He didn't tell me on purpose," I whispered. "He's really out of it."

"Bells?" Alice asked as she came into the room. She wrapped her arm around Jasper's hip as he kissed the top of his head. "What are you doing here? Is Edward out of surgery?"

"Yeah, and it went perfectly." I assured her. "Jazz, can I talk to her?"

"Sure," He nodded awkwardly. I really didn't want to get him into trouble, but I wanted to talk to her about this. She was my best friend in the entire world and I wanted to help her through this. She was always there for me, especially after Jacksonville. I wanted to repay the favor.

"What's up?" She asked as we sat down at the kitchen table.

"Okay, you have to promise you won't get mad at your husband."

"Alright?"

"Jasper told Edward what's been going on with you two." I sighed. "About...about you guys not being able to have kids."

"He did, did he?"

"I think he was upset and just needed Edward's support." I shrugged. "And I just don't get why you wouldn't say anything to me? We tell each other everything."

"I know, but this isn't between you and me, Bells." She whispered. "I love you and you're always going to be my best friend...even when we're old and grey. But, this is what's happening is between Jasper and I." She said as she looked down at the table. "And I just wanted to deal with it...with him, not you and Jake."

"I get that," I said, even though it hurt. We were adults now and things couldn't be fixed with a sleep over and some vodka. "And I understand if you two want to deal with this by yourselves, but I'm here for you."

"Yeah, I know you are." She giggled. "But, I still wanna do all my Aunt Alice duties...especially planning you that baby shower."

"You don't have to,"

"Who else is going to do it?" She laughed. "I mean really?"

"I could have Edward or Carlisle do it."

"No boys allowed." She smiled "And, I am so happy for you and Edward. And for Jake, it just...it really sucks knowing that both of you weren't even trying to get pregnant and Jasper and I have been trying for so long..." She said, and I could see the tears in his eyes. "I just feel like I'm failing at being a wife."

"What? Why?"

"Because I can't give my husband and baby like he wants." She sniffled.

"Alice, you'll have a baby one way or the other." I assured her, reaching over and grabbing her hand. "Whether some miracle happens and you get pregnant, you use a segregate, or you adopt...lots of babies need good homes and your home might be the best they could get."

"I know," She smiled sadly. "I think we're going to adopt...it would be too hard to see someone else carrying our baby."

"And I think that's good for you two," I told her. "But, however you two have a baby, you're both going to be amazing parents. I'm sure of it."

"You and Edward won't be too bad yourselves." She laughed, wiping her cheeks. "Always best friends, right?"

"Til death do us part." I assured her and brought her into a tight hug. She burst into tears, and I just held her until she quieted down. We sat together, drinking hot chocolate in silence. Alice liked to talk, but this was one of those times where she had nothing else to say. We couldn't say anything to change what was happening, and it was one of the only times I felt helpless.

She was my best friend in the world and she was going through something I would never understand. I understood how broken up she was when her seventh grade boyfriend broke up with her. I got how much it sucked to have that first big fight with your husband. But, I couldn't wrap my head around how she was feeling, not being able to carry a child.

"You should get back." She whispered once all the hot chocolate was gone. "Edward needs you more than I do."

"Okay," I whispered. She needed time to herself and I wasn't going to argue with her. I helped clean up the kitchen before she went upstairs. Jasper came to the door and shoved his hands in his pockets. "What's up?"

"That was the first time she's cried since she talked to her mother." He whispered. "Seven months ago."

"You've known for seven months?" I asked, shocked she was able to keep it a secret for so long.

"She hasn't wanted to deal with it." He explained. "Kids is all she ever wanted, Bella. What am I going to do if we can't adopt?"

"You'll figure something out." I whispered. "I don't know how, but you will."

"We'll be at the hospital at some point today." He told me, dropping the subject. "You go home and sleep, you look exhausted." I gave him a hug before going to my car. I took a few deep breaths and tried to stop the tears that were streaming down my cheeks, but I couldn't.

My best friend was hurting and for once...there wasn't anything I could do.


End file.

Twilight, Drama, Romance