Fire Emblem 1. Prologue: Bared Legs of the Plains

Synopsis: Soren goes to Melior to polish his skills as a tactician but a freak accident happens and he ends up in the Elibe universe.

Disclaimer: I do not own this franchise, though I did borrow a lot of its dialogue for this fic,

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Prologue: Bared Legs of the Plains

Soren woke up to the sound of birds frolicking outside. He could smell something very unfamiliar in the air – the scent of lavender and probably mint – but he paid it no heed. Grudgingly, he opened his eyes to the sight of morning blurriness and sunshine – two things which told him that it was going to be a long and arduous day. The mage scratched the itch on his head and only then did he realize that there was another presence in the room with him. Right besides him in fact.

"Gah!" He gasped but quickly regained composure and sat up, startling the tall girl a little.

"Are you awake?" The girl asked, though Soren thought it more to be a rhetorical question seeing as how he was obviously awake. He remained still, however, as he was untrusting of this strange girl. Who in Tellius was she? And what in the world was he doing in this strange room? It was certainly not his own as he would never keep such distasteful and _tribal-like_ things lying around his room. Was she one of the sub-humans?

"Where am I?" It wasn't the only question plaguing Soren's mind right now but it was probably best to start simple.

"This is my room. I found you unconscious in the plains."

Plains? What was he doing there? Last he remembered he was on his way to visit the library in Melior for some much-needed tactical information. If he was to become an asset to the Greil mercenaries – and ultimately to Ike – then it was crucial for him to find out everything there was to know about battle strategies on the field and how to preserve equipment and items in case there was a shortage of funds.

And _boy_ was there always a shortage of funds, what with dumb people breaking their axes all the time and wasting precious food products because they repeatedly fail at cooking something decent for the group. Mist is a prime example of why women should _not_ stay in the kitchen, though it wasn't like she was great at healing magic either.

Soren, ignoring the girl for a bit, peered out the window and saw nothing but green plains and blue skies. No buildings, no high-ranking officials patrolling the streets, no _Melior_. How did he end up here in this desolate place?

"I thought I was in Melior's library," he mumbled.

"Sorry?"

"Nothing. Who are you?"

The girl smiled when she introduced herself. "I am Lyn of the Lorca tribe." The mage blinked at this and realized he was scowling a bit. This girl – Lyn- was part of a tribe called the _Lorca_? Were the Lorca a new species of laguz or something? "You're safe now. Who are you? Can you remember your name?"

"I, uh…" he hesitated a bit, unsure of how he should answer her. Sure, Soren wasn't sociopathic – well, maybe just a little – but he did not want to reveal his identity to this Lyn girl, having only just met her minutes before. He quickly went through his list of fake names in his head and when Lyn seemed to grow wary of him, he plucked a name out of nowhere.

"Mark. My name is Mark." _Goddess, Mark_? He inwardly cringed at such an unsophisticated name. _Well, it'll only be a temporary name so I'll let it slide for now…_

"Your name is Mark? What an odd-sounding name…" _Yeah, tell me about it_, Soren grimaced, "but pay me no mind. It is a good name. I see by your attire that you are a traveller. What brings you to the Sacaen plains?"

Soren raised an eye-brow. "Sacaen…plains?" Good Goddess, where the hell was he? He had never heard of this 'Sacae' place before and had never come across its name in his geography books ever. Something at the back of his mind fizzled, leaving him feeling uneasy and very vulnerable. "…Would you be able to tell me which country this is?"

Lyn smiled and took a seat besides the mage, baring one of her legs from under her garments. What was she doing, trying to seduce Soren? "Would you share your story with me first? You look a little lost."

When the little tactician opened his mouth to protest, an obnoxious voice suddenly thundered its way through the plains, scaring all the wild life away. It sounded like one of the merchants back in the Crimean markets where they would try to yell louder than the next merchant in hopes of catching the attention of the next passing customer - or sucker - for them to dupe.

"Hm?" Lyn stood up and glanced out the window. "What was that noise? I'll go see what's happening. Mark, wait here for me." She left the window and rushed outside. Seconds later, she hurried back inside, looking a bit flustered. Her eyes were gleaming with fear and desperation. "Oh no! Bandits! They must have come down from the Bern mountains."

Soren raised his other eye-brow. Bern? Yeah, he was definitely not on Tellius anymore. While he was flipping through his memory bank for any possibilities that may have led him to these 'Sacaen' plains, Lyn had the audacity to announce her martyrdom. "I have to stop them! If that's all of them then I think I can handle them on my own."

_No, you can't be serious._ The mage sighed heavily, already feeling the itch of a migraine coming onto him. One against a possible hoard of violent bandits? And Lyn looked nowhere near prepared for battle. Her unprotected legs would be sooner cut off than she could run. "Don't be ridiculous. You can't just run into battle looking like _that_."

She examined herself, lifting a limb there and then, before looking back at Soren, still clueless. "Is there something wrong with my outfit?"

_Yeah, the bandits might rape your legs,_ but Soren quickly dismissed that thought and got out of bed. "Allow me to assist you."

"What? You want to help?" As much as he didn't actually want to, he needed the girl alive because she was the only one that could help him with his current unfortunate situation. "Well, can you use a weapon?"

_Oh crap._ Soren's eyes widened as he rummaged through his robes for a tome. When he found it, he breathed a sigh of relief. At least he hadn't come here unarmed. "I can't use weapons but I can use this." He whipped out his Elwind tome, looking all smug and like a sir. "I'm a mage – well actually, I'm a tactician-in-training but I am also prolific in elemental magic."

"Oh, you're an anima mage then? And a tactician by trade? An odd profession but…" Lyn was contemplating whether she would take him with her. She examined the mage, head to toe, making him fell very uncomfortable and violated. What was her problem? And then it dawned on him.

"I may look like a child but I assure you that I am older than I look."

"O-Oh! Really?" Soren smiled, remembering a time when Ike, out of concern, looked at him the same way to prove his point that he wasn't eating enough and that it stunted his growth a little. Yeah, he was a bit offended at that and whipped up a good wind spell up Ike's ass that day for good measure. "Very well then. We'll go together."

The two of them left the household after Lyn grabbed a light-looking sword from the shelf. She closed the door and made a run for the bushes nearby. "Over here!" She whispered loudly – defeating the purpose of a whisper. "If you want to help, Mark, I could use your advice. I'll protect you, so stay close to me."

The mage rolled his eyes. _As if I need protecting. I'm not the one with exposed legs here._ He just could not get over the fact that she was wearing such revealing clothes. If she was a fighter – which she might be seeing as how she possessed a sword – shouldn't she be wearing something a bit more protective? Maybe not to Titania's extent, since this Lyn girl wasn't a knight, but still, some pants would be nice.

"Um, Mark?"

"Hm?" Soren looked up.

"You're staring an awful lot at my legs…you're not some kind of pervert or anything I hope."

"What?" The mage exclaimed a little too loud, covering his mouth as he realized this. "I am certainly not a-a pervert! And I was most certainly not staring at your legs. I just wonder how you manage, looking like, well, _that_."

"Oh. These clothes are traditional wear for the Sacaen nomads. I have nothing else."

Soren simply nodded. "I see…what's a Sacaen nomad?"

Lyn stared at him as if he was from another world. "You're not from here, are you?"

_About time you noticed, _but before he could be snide about it the both of them became alerted by the sound of stomping feet. Soren peered through the leaves and spotted the bandits coming their way.

"Yargh, you smell that Batta?"

"Mmm, like lavender on a tree."

"Lavender doesn't grow on trees!"

"Yargh, what're ya saying? That I'm dumb? 'Course they grow on trees!"

"Batta, they grow on rocks! Like mold!"

Soren once again rolled his eyes, rubbing his temples as he felt that migraine wedging deeper into his brain. He couldn't take any more of their stupid so he nudged at Lyn, advising her to act now. "We should strike them now while they are having their…vastly inspiring conversation."

She nodded. "Yes, let us take them by the element of surprise." Soren wasn't sure if that was meant to be a pun but regardless, he brandished his Elwind tome and waited for Lyn to jump out first. She unsheathed her sword and quickly leapt out, taking out the first bandit before the mage could climb out of the bushes.

Wow. He had clearly underestimated the girl's ability. Not only was she fast, she was incredibly skilled with a blade. But even skilled fighters can become overwhelmed by numbers. Lyn turned to face the others and upon realizing that she was up against not two, but three more bandits, she took a defensive step backwards. The closest bandit let out a snarl before throwing his axe at her, just barely nicking her on the leg. Soren, beginning his chants, rushed to her side and unleashed a flurry of wind spells, temporarily stunning the enemy.

Lyn took out a vulnerary and quickly applied it to her wound, though not before voicing her appreciation. "Thank you. You saved me there."

"You know, this wouldn't have happened if you were wearing pants."

"Oh, will you just give it a rest." She corked the vulnerary and dashed towards the bandits again, effectively taking another two out. The last of them, most likely their boss judging by how funny-looking his face was, took a step back and pointed threateningly at them both.

"Who do you think you are? You think you can stand up to Batta the Beast?"

Soren could hear Lyn let out a snicker. He was tempted to as well but would much rather attack 'Batta the Beast' whilst he was still basking. He unleashed another wind spell, catching the bandit off guard, and Lyn saw this as a chance to unleash a final attack against him. She kneed him in the stomach before spinning around his side and slashing his back. The formidable 'Batta the Beast' fell to the ground in a slump, signifying an end to the fight.

Lyn put away her sword and returned to Soren's side. "Good work, Mark!"

The mage cringed at being called Mark again. Goddess, he did not like that name at all and if she was going to keep calling him that then he would surely develop a horrible cringing-reflex every time he heard the name 'Mark'.

"Lyn, was it? Please, I would appreciate it if you would stop calling me by that name."

"Why not? What should I call you then?"

"Soren."

"What's wrong with Mark?"

He cringed again. "Look here. I apologize for lying to you previously but my real name is Soren. So for the love of Goddess, please call me Soren."

The Sacaen woman chuckled. "Is that so? Well, it's a much better name than Mark I assure you, but there really is no need to be cautious around me. I'm not going to hurt you."

"I know," Soren decided that the woman – Lyn – was worth placing his trust upon. After all, she had shown that she wasn't a weak, pathetic damsel-in-distress piece of trash. She had some skill with the blade, however unpolished it may be, and she seemed to possess a fraction of intelligence in that small head of hers. Besides, she looked after him when he had been unconscious. Surely somebody like her could be trusted.

"Say, Soren…?" Lyn's expression changed. "I want to talk to you about something. You have some experience in the ways of war, I can see. Would you allow me to travel with you?"

This time, Soren raised both eyebrows. She wasn't being serious was she? He was a complete stranger to her, having only known her name a mere moment ago, and now she wants to travel with him? He wasn't even from these lands! "Er, I'm not sure that's a great idea."

"O-oh?"

"I'm not really…knowledgeable of these lands, and I have to find my own way back to the mercenary group that I work with." _Somehow… _he mentally added.

"That's okay! I'll help you along the way and when we find your band of heroes I'll just go my own way."

Band of heroes, heh. Maybe Ike and his father were, but the others were definitely not 'heroes'. More like a ragtag bunch of misfits that Soren himself had to take care of, even if it was not to his best interests. There was Boyd the retarded muscle-for-brains idiot who couldn't tell which of his boots fitted which foot because, well, he was an idiot. However his two brothers, Oscar and Rolf, were slightly more competent to work with, though Soren found it slightly suspicious that Rolf knew how to handle a bow. Shinon on the other hand was someone Soren would rather not mention let alone talk about. If he were given the opportunity to do it, he'd drown Shinon in his alcohol reserves and stab an arrow to his knee.

"So what do you say?"

The mage considered her offer. He didn't doubt her ability to fight her own battles and she could prove to be a great asset during his way back to the Greil mercenaries, wherever they may be. Plus, she was his only guide to these strange lands so there was no way he could refuse her company. There was only one problem.

"Won't your friends or family miss you?" Soren immediately regretted asking that because as soon as he mentioned the word 'family' her face evidently saddened and that could only mean one thing.

_Oh please please please don't give me a run-down of your sad and miserable past. I don't care about what you've been doing till now._

"My mother and father…died six months ago," Soren's mind did its own facepalm before he rolled his eyes. Lyn, oblivious to his frown, continued her sad and utterly tragic life story. "My people – the Lorca – they don't…I'm the last of my tribe. Bandits attacked and …they killed so many people. The tribe was shattered. My father was our chieftain and I tried to protect our people but I was so young and our people were old-fashioned. They wouldn't follow a woman. No one would follow me." Lyn's eyes started tearing up and she wiped a single tear from her cheek. "I'm sorry. I've been alone for so long…"

Soren was about to open his mouth, not to give comforting words to her but to ridicule her, being the great sympathetic guy he was. However he decided against it. If he were to offend her in some way then he would never be able to get out of this Goddess-forsaken place alive. He was lost and this girl was his lifeline.

"No…no more. I will shed no more tears."

_Oh boo hoo_, Soren inwardly sighed. Compared to his wretched past, this girl had it easy. She had a family – a whole tribe to herself in fact – and parents who cared about her, whereas he had nothing. His life practically had no meaning or worth until Ike saved him from despair. But that was beside the point.

Lyn wiped the rest of her tears away and forced out a smile. "Thank you. I'm better now." The mage offered a small smile in return, even though he didn't actually do anything to comfort her. "Soren, I must become stronger so that I may avenge my father's death. Today's battle taught me something. I won't become stronger by sitting here alone. Soren, tell me you'll train me, that you'll let me travel with you."

He did a quick mental calculation of all the pros and cons of travelling with Lyn but ultimately he found it favourable to have her with him. There was nothing to lose in this kind of arrangement anyway. It wasn't like he was going to get caught up in some grand scheme the size of a country or anything, so he accepted. "Alright. But we will have to part ways once I reunite with my companions."

"Yes, of course! That's just wonderful! Thank you, oh thank you! We'll be better off working together, I just know it. You'll be my master strategist, and I'll be your peerless warrior! We can do it right?"

Somehow, Soren could feel the sides of his mouth twitching. He sensed that something in his mind told him that it would be interesting to travel with this girl to further unknown lands but he quickly threw that thought out the window when the wind blew a little too strongly and showed what was under Lyn's garments.

_The first thing we'll do is get you some pants…_

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**A/N: I thought Soren would be a great choice to fill up the tactician spot for FE7. He's cynical, he's snarky and he's a lot of fun to write.**

**This fic has been planned to be an ongoing project since I have a lot of material for it but only if people are interested.**

**So excited for the 3DS fire emblem game x3!**


	2. Chapter 1A: Footsteps of Smelly People

Synopsis: Soren goes to Melior to polish his skills as a tactician but a freak accident happens and he ends up in the Elibe universe.

Disclaimer: I do not own this franchise, but I may have borrowed a quote or two from it :)

**A/N: This is an affectionate parody**  
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Chapter 1 (part A): Footsteps of Smelly People

It wasn't long until the two unlikely companions, Soren and Lyn of the Lorca, made their way to Bulgar to purchase supplies and rations for their _'exciting'_new adventure across these lands together- snark included. According to Lyn, Bulgar was the commercial centre of Sacae and apparently one of the bigger towns of this region, though Soren didn't think it was all that impressive. He found it more akin to the size of a fairly minuscule and insignificant communal area in Crimea, like say, Ohma. The mage had been to Ohma before but he refused to go into their village because of how smelly the people were.

Bulgar didn't seem much different in fact. Besides the stench of smelly horses and donkeys and _pigs_ – seriously, why did these people have pigs trudging around freely in town?– this town, though certainly more 'back-water', wasn't all that much different to a small town in Crimea. Its citizens seemed to be wearing similar attires to Lyn, making everybody look rugged and dirty. They were too much like the sub-humans he so loathed.

"Soren?"

The mage snapped out of his trance and looked up. "What?"

"Oh, you just seemed a bit out of it. Are you feeling okay?" Her green eyes were laden with genuine concern. "Maybe we should stop for a bit."

"I'm fine," he casually dismissed her concern and continued through the busy streets.

It was midday so there was a fairly large crowd of people on the streets doing their daily doodads and what-nots. In fact, there were more and more people gathering that Soren literally could not walk another three steps without bumping into somebody. This was why he generally avoided large crowds – well, that and because of the B.O that accumulated from people which ultimately led to very smelly people-stench. Soren mentally slapped himself for thinking redundant things. Yes, it must be because of the heat…and the stench.

It wasn't long until Soren realized that Lyn was no longer with him so he turned to search for her, only to crash into somebody's metallic torso. The mage rubbed his head before peering up and – oh good goddess, _Oscar_? _Is that you?_

"Oh my heart! Beauteous one! To encounter a blossom during these dire times, it must be fate!"

_No, just another guy with greenish-looking hair and armour... _Soren looked over his shoulders, believing the man to be hitting on some girl walking behind him. When there was nobody that Soren deemed remotely attractive around him, he turned back and only then realized that the soldier was _talking to him_.

"Would you not favour me with your name? Or better yet, your company?" The green tin-man extended a hand for Soren to take but he didn't dare touch the repulsive thing. The mage kept his mouth closed and remained still. Maybe if this imbecile got tired of playing this game, he would become bored and walk away. "What is the matter? I don't bite…hard." He winked at Soren suggestively, and that's when the impenetrable line was crossed.

"Don't. Touch. Me." Soren found comfort and security when he grasped his Elwind tome under his sleeve. "I don't know who you think I am or what you take me for but I have absolutely no interest in making what you obviously believe to be 'small talk' with a man whose preferences are severely questionable. I do not have time for someone whose prospects of marriage are obviously dwindling especially for one looking to seek attention in this uncouth town. If you ever lay a finger on me – nay, if you ever look at me that way ever again, I will not hesitate to shove a tornado up your -"

"Aha! Soren! There you are!"

The tactician was the first to look at Lyn because the idiotic soldier was still struggling to find words underneath all that shattered pride and dignity. She appeared from amidst the crowd, albeit a little too late to save Soren from this horrible excuse of a man. Fortunately, for Soren at least, he now diverted his attention towards Lyn.

"Oh, another beauty of the masses. Won't you favour me with your name?"

Lyn shot him a cold glare, unimpressed by his lack of respect and humility. "Where are you from, sir knight, that you speak so freely to a stranger?"

"Ha!" The slime-ball man beamed and decided to ham it up. "I thought you'd never ask! I am Sain of Lycia, home to men of passion and fire!"

"Shouldn't that be 'home to callow oafs with loose tongues?" Soren smirked at this. Lyn was pretty good at come-backs.

"Ooooh…you're even more lovely when you're cruel…" The knight from Lycia – again, another place Soren had never heard of – raised his fist to his chest in a dramatically pained expression. Were all knights here like this? The mage frowned at this concerning notion. What if he had accidentally travelled to a parallel universe where all the knights were bumbling buffoons, and all women wore scanty rugs instead of dresses – well, Lyn at least kind of looks like she does. And the lack of any pants was still unnerving to Soren. _Note to self: get Lyn leggings._

And purchase a fake moustache so that men do not mistake me as a woman ever again.

The moron – Soren refuses to acknowledge his real name -, to his dismay, hadn't forgotten about the little mage though and suddenly had the nerve to grab his hand, proclaiming some insane drivel all the while. "Oh, my sweet, but you haven't yet abandoned me, right? Surely the Gods above would never allow two lovely looking ladies reject the same man twice in a row on the same day – nay, within the same minute! Such a depressing thought could not exist!"

And as if on cue, Soren snatched his hand away in one swift movement. "Don't touch me again, imbecile." His words were cold and apparently unbearable for the imbecile-knight to hear.

"Ohhh, such cruel words. What did I ever do to deserve such hurtful words?"

"The instant you opened your filthy mouth, you lout." Damn did it feel good to insult the guy. "Perhaps if you had flirted with a _real_ woman, you wouldn't be in this situation. What, is your brain rusting alongside your armour?"

"Now hang on just a minute," Soren was genuinely surprised when it was Lyn that stopped him from further insulting the imbecile. "What do you mean by 'real' woman? Are you saying that _I'm _not a 'real' woman?"

"What? What in Tellius are you-" He wanted to bash his head against the wall but settled for a sigh instead. "Lyn, I was not talking about you. I was referring to myself when I said that."

The knight and Lyn gasped in unison. In _unison_! And Soren, at that moment, just wanted to hang himself and be spared the ridicule that he was feeling there and then. The two loathsome people stood there like the fools they were with their mouths wide-open in shock. _Congratulations. Everyone has now realized that I am a man. Discovery of the century!_

"No…surely you jest." The knight shook his head frantically in denial. Obviously he didn't want to admit to the fact that he had just wooed a man. "There's no way a lady – uh, nay…a _man_, could have such …fine features. This must be some foul trickery at hand. An illusion to the eyes -"

"I. Am. A. MAN!" The little mage could not emphasise the words more than enough, articulating each word carefully so that he was sure the two idiots understood the full implication of those words.

Lyn was the first to apologize. "Oh my goodness, I didn't – I am terribly sorry. I should've known, yet I-"

"You mean we spent _all_ this time together and you thought I was a woman?" The mage huffed, out of breath from all the yelling that he did. He gave Lyn a condescending glare before deciding to turn tail and pretend that they did not have this conversation at all.

Lyn ran after him, apologizing still, and left Sain behind to wallow in his own humiliation.

o-o-o

P.S: Thanks for reviewing guys!

**That Guy:** Yes! I like the way you think :D! And I do have chock loads more ideas, though I hadn't considered the thought of Soren befriending Erk...HMMMMMMM...

**Tom-Ato13:** Aww thanks man /._./ I do try really hard to keep everyone in-character and make them feel real at the same time. And you should write some FE stories :P. Writing is free and lots of fun xD


	3. Chapter 1B: Footsteps of Shirtless Men

Synopsis: Soren goes to Melior to polish his skills as a tactician but a freak accident happens and he ends up in the Elibe universe.

Disclaimer: I do not own this franchise.

**A/N: This is an affectionate parody.**  
**Review replies/comments at the end of page.**

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Chapter 1B: Footsteps of Shirtless Men

"Come out pretties! We know you're in there!"

The bolted door was struck from the outside, causing rubble and rotting wood to fly through the air. Soren was not-at-all pleased with his current situation. As soon as he and Lyn had left Bulgar, a gang of filthy bandits had followed them out and approached Lyn with less-than-noble intentions. They were bulky, shirtless men whose choice of weaponry seemed to be axes. Big, ugly bandits always seemed to favour axes even when they were obviously a poor choice of weaponry – well, that was what the tactician thought anyway. They were expensive, difficult to use and reminded him too much of a certain idiot back at the fort. Who cares if they were effective against heavily-armoured knights. Magic was a much better form of attack and, most important of all, never missed its target.

Anyway, it didn't take two people to realize that they were outnumbered. The bandits were stupid but stupidity in numbers was not a force to be reckoned with. He and Lyn had fled to the nearest safe haven that they could find and locked themselves within it. Unfortunately for them, it wasn't exactly a great hiding place.

"It stinks so much in here." Lyn covered her nose while she looked around the dark and battered place. It was an old barn that hadn't been used for a long time, if the mould on the wood was any indication of that. Bundles of hay and timber were stacked in the corner, probably intended for reparation use but they now remained useless and forgotten.

The Sacaen warrior took a few steps towards the window before stopping dead in her spot. Something had squashed underneath her.

"What is it?" The mage looked down to her boots and offered what appeared to be a sympathetic look. "My condolences."

She closed her eyes and sighed. "Of all places to hide in–" She jumped in fright when the door was struck again.

"Aye, we know yer in there! Eventually we'll get this blasted door open and you'll both have to die. But I'll tell ya what. Let's make a deal." Soren shifted uncomfortably at this. "If both you lasses come out of the barn 'ere, we'll let the short one go free."

The mage opened his mouth but then closed it just as quick. It wasn't like there was any point in arguing with them. They were an uneducated bunch of brutes who killed and plundered for their own gain, raped women, stole children to sell as slaves, and had no personal sense of hygiene. Any words directed to them would be wasted breath.

"You have till the count of five! One!"

Lyn stood besides the window, waiting for the tactician's command. "Soren, what should we do? Perhaps we could jump out this window and -"

"Wait. Give me some time to think."

"Two!"

"I think I can take them on if that's all they have-"

"No, don't. They might have friends nearby to ambush us."

"Three!"

"I could try and take down as many as I can while you make a break for it."

"Lyn, the staggering amount of holes that plan has astounds me."

"Four! Okay, time's up! Boys, break the door down!"

"But I thought you said till the count of five!" Lyn and Soren staggered to the ground from the sheer force of the bandit's smash on the door. Another attack had left an incredible crack on the door and they knew that soon it would come down and their fate would be sealed. Lyn quickly scrambled up and pulled out her blade, ready to strike down her pursuers while Soren prepared an Elwind spell. When the door had finally come down, she lunged for the first bandit that entered the barn, only to stop mid-step when one of the bandits let out a cry of blood-curdling anguish.

"Graaaah!" The bandit at the door made the mistake of looking back to see who had screamed and then he was stabbed in the chest with a steel lance. The bandit dropped dead to the ground, revealing Lyn and Soren's mysterious saviour.

And then by reflex, the mage raised his Elwind tome.

"Wait, wait, wait! I'm here to save you guys!"

Soren shrugged and started chanting anyway, but he was held back by Lyn. "Hang on a moment, Soren. It's the knight from before."

He blinked twice. "Indeed he is. And?"

Lyn wisely decided to ignore his vendetta against the knight who harassed him, and greeted the aforementioned knight at the door. "Sain, was it? You have our sincerest thanks for saving us but I must ask, how did you know-" She was cut off by a distant howl which got the attention of the green knight. He glanced behind his shoulder and motioned for his horse to come closer.

"We'll have to save the chit-chat for later, milady. My companion is currently engaged with those dastardly brutes and I fear he may not be able to handle the situation without my infallible aid." Sain headed out the door and climbed onto his horse. He was just about to take off when Lyn called out to him.

"Wait! We can help!"

"What?" Soren hissed through his teeth. "We should use this chance to escape while we can! Did you not hear what their leader said? They are after you!"

"And that's why I feel responsible for the mess we're in. I've put us into danger and I intend to get us out of it."

"By putting us into more danger?" Soren paused with his mouth still wide open, and then shrugged heavily when he realized Lyn wasn't going to listen to him anyway. It was obvious she wanted to die a martyr, or at least become the heroine of this story. _It'll never catch on_, he thought. "Fine, do whatever you want. But I will not be held accountable for your death, or his death," the mage gestured to Sain, "…then again, I don't really care if he dies."

Sain opened his mouth to protest but Lyn beat him to it. "Actually Soren, I'm afraid you are responsible for my safety…you _are_ my tactician, right? So you'll have to guide us through the fight with the bandits."

"…" Of course, Soren could throw words back at Lyn but he knew it was a one-sided dispute. A man just cannot win an argument with a woman. Besides, the little conscience inside him did admit that she was right. He was a tactician – well, a tactician-in-training – so his knowledge of battle strategies would see them through the following battle mostly unharmed. Of course, the easier solution would be to run away and let Sain and his friend fight the bandits, but Lyn wanted to be boss and women were scary when they didn't get what they wanted.

The mage let out a sigh and Lyn knew that she had won.

o-o-o-o-o-o

"Whoa! I missed!?"

Sain's horse quickly leapt away from the shirtless bandit, wobbling a bit when the rider fumbled with his lance. He clutched his lance with renewed strength and was ready to strike again, only to nearly fall off his saddle when somebody shouted out to him.

"Sain! Why aren't you using your sword?" The red knight, Kent, slowed his horse down to a pace and approached Sain with a spare sword in his hand. Soren was secretly thankful that he didn't need to bother himself with the incompetent knight. Truth be told, he had prepared himself for the worse when he was introduced to Sain's friend. He thought he'd have to put up with another imbecile, so it was quite a pleasant surprise when Kent turned out to be the exact opposite of Sain –diligent, reliable, and well mannered.

"You're hopeless. If you don't take fighting more seriously, you're going to find yourself on the end of a blade!"

"I just forgot to buy a sword, that's all! Don't worry, I'll be fine with my lance because I'm that good!"

Kent shoved his spare sword in front of his companion's face, nearly cutting off his nose in the process. "Enough with your empty bragging. Just take my spare blade and use it to attack next time." He moved away from Sain and lunged at the next nearest bandit, effectively cutting him down in one swift move. Though he was quite a distant away from the red knight, Soren could feel the fury resonating off Kent. _To think that he has to deal with Sain everyday_…

"Soren, look out!"

The mage turned around just in time to evade the incoming bandit. He had used all his strength to strike with his axe so it was inevitably lodged into the dirt. The bandits may be strong but they were slow as mules. Soren raised his Elwind tome while the bandit was still trying to pull out his axe.

"Here, let me help you out with that." Soren said casually and then he proceeded to send the bandit flying into the air along with his axe.

The rest of the mook bandits were easily dispatched by Kent and Lyn who was surprisingly getting better with the sword with each stroke. She was quick on her feet and incredibly flexible with her movements, but Soren could see that she was physically weak and had a low constitution. It was probably best if he left her with the dealing blow on the boss. That way, she wouldn't get hurt and she would be able to rack up a ton of experience points.

_Wait, experience points?_ Soren shook his head and amended himself. _She wouldn't get hurt and she would be able to __grow as a person__._ Yes, that sounded more practical.

"Gah! Ouch! I have been wounded! Somebody! Will somebody not come to my aid!?" The shouts came from Sain's direction, to Soren's dismay.

"What has that moron gotten into himself now?" He was about to head off towards Sain's direction but somebody held him back.

"Soren, was it?" The mage turned his head and looked up at the red rider. "You do not need to trouble yourself with my companion's constant blunders. I'll tend to him."

Soren lifted an eyebrow. "How noble of you. Well, I'm not complaining. He is kind of your problem anyway." Kent offered a low chuckle before leading his horse towards Sain. His shoulders were hunched as if he was too tired or just overburdened, and it was such a pitiful sight. At that moment, Soren couldn't think of another person he felt sorrier for. "Wait."

The knight looked back. "Yes?"

"You don't need to waste your own vulnerary on him. Here." He gave the knight one of his spare vulneraries. He was reluctant to take it though.

"Are you very sure? I have several more in my pouch at my disposal."

"Yes, well, I cannot even begin to imagine how many vulneraries you have used on him already."

Kent smiled more genuinely this time. "Then I will accept your most gracious offer." He took the vulnerary and went after Sain who was flailing his arms around like a monkey with his butt on fire. It was really a wonder how the two of them became friends.

After that matter was settled, Soren had found himself at Lyn's side once again. She already had her blade out and was ready to confront the boss of the bandits, the proclaimed almighty Zugu. Soren allowed himself to giggle at the name.

"Haha, well if this ain't a funny situation I put myself under, then I don't know what else is." Zugu cackled, holding his axe down on his side. "I'm supposed to be the one killing the target, and now the target's after _my_ blood. Haha!"

Lyn steadied her sword-arm. "I'm not after your blood but if I don't stop you here and now, who knows what you'll do to the villagers."

Zugu apparently found what she said hilarious and bellowed. "Oh, I'll do a lot more to you if I could. Fortunately for you, I was told to only kill the one called 'Lyndis'."

"What did you call me? …Who are you?"

"Lyn, this is not the time to have an emotional breakdown," Soren moved in front of her and opened his tome, "but if you really must, then I'll strike first."

"Who's going to be striking first?!" Zugu grabbed his axe and lunged it towards the two, effectively separating them. The attack came unexpectedly for Soren who had dropped his tome and toppled backwards onto the ground. He quickly reached for his tome but it had fallen too far away from him. Zugu noticed this and so decided to attack him first. "Such a waste. Well, time to die darling."

Soren instinctively closed his eyes and shielded himself with his arms, bracing for impact…except the impact never came. Lyn had parried the attack and manipulated her blade so that Zugu's axe faced the ground instead of Soren's head. She then quickly pulled her sword away from his axe and aimed for the bandit's wrist, forcing him to let go of his weapon so that he could evade her attack. At that moment, Soren grabbed his tome and summoned a quick but weak wind spell in order to distract Zugu. He used that moment of confusion to stand up again, readying himself for another spell.

"I'll handle this." Lyn put her hand on the mage's shoulders in a reassuring manner. She lifted her sword so that it pointed directly towards her target and planted her feet on the ground so that she was in a forward stance. What came next left Soren stunned. In an instance, she disappeared from where she had stood. The wind from her movement was the only indication that she had even moved. Before the mage had a chance to even blink, Zugu was getting hacked from all directions. The bandit would turn around hoping to block the next attack but then he would just be slashed from behind. He got bloodier by the millisecond and by the time Lyn had returned to her original spot from the air, the bandit boss slumped to the ground, dead.

Lyn wasn't even out of breath when she addressed Soren. "Yes?"

"Huh?"

"Your mouth is wide open, as if you have something to say to me."

"Well, erm…that was quite the spectacle."

Lyn smiled and shrugged her shoulders, feigning the impression that she thought it was nothing special but Soren knew that she was secretly gloating inside. "That was the last of them. We should probably find the knights of Lycia now." And as if on cue, the two cavalier knights came prancing on their horses towards them. Kent had the same stern look on his face while his companion was beaming with pride.

"Splendid! Lady Lyndis, you move like the wind, ever so eloquently, ever so graciously." Sain unmounted his horse, still grinning like a maniac. "You must show me how you move like that. Perhaps you could teach me some of your techniques and maybe if I become good enough we could _tangle_." The green knight finished with a suggestive eyebrow wriggle, only to realize that Lyn wasn't paying any attention to him. Her head was turned towards Kent who had leaned forward in a bow.

"Milady, I hope you are unharmed. I am sorry that I could not give you any of my help. I was preoccupied with other matters." He quickly glanced at Sain to indicate what he was referring to. "Though, after witnessing such an amazing feat, I believe you didn't need my help after all."

"Nonsense. You were a great help to us. Now then, you were going to share your story with me?"

Their conversation dragged on and Soren found his mind drifting away. He couldn't really understand what the knights were telling Lyn because he wasn't from these lands but he got the general gist of it. Lyn was apparently the illegitimate daughter to the Caelin throne. Her mother who had eloped with some nomad had passed away a few days ago so she was now heir to the throne. Unfortunately, nobles were greedy bastards and Lyn's granduncle wanted the throne for himself so he hired the bandits to kill her. Or something like that. Soren didn't really care nor did he want to involve himself in the matter.

It's a really funny thing though. Why do nobles and the like want the throne to themselves so badly? It wasn't as if they were going to gain some Goddess-sent power or anything. Sure, they had power over the country and all, but in return they'd have to look after the whole country and its inhabitants, and put up with snobby nobles during the many meetings they would have every day. They would be constantly scorned upon if they were unpopular and many attempts on their lives would be made if they were a weak ruler. If Soren was heir to a throne, which he certainly wasn't but hypothetically-speaking, if he was the next in line to rule he would humbly decline the offer. He wouldn't order a bunch of smelly thugs to go after the current heir, like what this 'Lundgren' guy just did. Seriously, how ridiculous were these high-borns?

"Soren? Did you hear what I just said?"

The mage looked up from his daze. He had no clue what Lyn had said to him but he made a guess. "Did you…want me to go with you to stop this Lundgren character?"

She smirked. "And here I thought you didn't care about the situation. Well, Soren, I'm afraid I don't have a choice but to go with these knights to help my grandfather. However, this matter doesn't concern you so you may choose to come with us or go your own way…" The pause at the end indicated that Lyn wanted Soren to accompany her, though she didn't want to admit it.

"Do you want me to go with you?" Inside, Soren already knew the answer but he wanted Lyn to admit that she wanted his help. He wouldn't be satisfied otherwise.

"It will be a dangerous journey there and there will be people after us…your companionship would do a lot to ease the journey…if you want to come along."

"Hmm…but do _you_ want me to go with you?"

"Well, I'm giving you the choice here…"

"And I'm asking you if you want me to go with you."

"…Yes. Your magical talents might help get us through a lot of the upcoming battles. So if you would…"

_As if I have any other choice myself_. He knew the most viable option was to travel with her because she was his guide to these unknown lands. Until he found out how to get back to Tellius and to the Greil mercenaries he was stuck here, stranded on these mysterious lands with a bare-legged girl, and a ridiculous-excuse of a knight and his stern companion. Fun.

"I'll go. I don't have a choice anyway, given my current situation."

"You'll come? Are you sure? Oh, thank you!"

Soren watched as she returned to Kent's side to inquire more about her family. He quickly dusted himself of dirt and put his tome back into his sleeve, ready to embark on a great quest to save her grandfather and reclaim her throne. Yes, it seemed as if Soren would have to deal with a lot of nonsense before he could even begin to find a way back to his own lands. He never really thought about it until now but he was feeling a bit homesick. _I wonder what everyone's doing. How many axes has Boyd broken? Has Shinon finally taken an arrow to the knee? What is Commander Greil up to? Does Ike miss me?_

He let out a sigh and told himself to forget about them for the time being and move on.

o-o-o-o-o

A/N: Thanks for taking the time to review!

**Tom-Ato13: **Actually, I always throught in the Fire Emblem world, the names would be unisex. When you're choosing the name for the My Unit guy in FE7, you can have Mark as the name and 'female' as the gender. I think it's the same with Lucius - I think 'Lucius' is a male name but he gets mistaken as a chick anyway :D

**That Guy: **Yeap I'm still going to be writing this but I might get delayed a bit because of life and all :O, but thanks for the support

**canon: **Yea, sometimes I feel Soren may be just a tad bit OOC too but I wanted him to be less introverted in this fic than in the game. Else it wouldn't be as funneh :D

**SylviustheStrange: **OOOO yeah! A beauty contest! I might just use that idea in a filler chapter xD (ISAYLUCIUSWINS - I mean, just look at his hips. THOSE CHILD-BEARING HIPS!)

P.S: omgfireemblemawakeningikeapp rentlyhasachildnoooooooooith oughthewasonlyinterestedinso ren ;_;...my otp...


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Fire Emblem, Humor, Parody