Invader Zim 1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Freakazoid's Heiney, and I also don't own Invader Zim! ...Which is ironic, since Freakazoid and I are a lot a like... Okay, Scary-time over! IT'S BAAAACK! TO THE STOOORRYYY! *Large, "Back to the Future"-style credits show up and she zooms off!* On another note...  
"Intergalactic" by the Beastie Boys was the inspiration for the title. Mmm-yep~! *Laughs* Because it's just so cool and funny a song~! Like, one of those old science-fiction movies!

AUTHOR'S NOTES:The Adventures continue~!

(Story order so far: "Lepidoptera and Arachnidia" - "PSYCH-OUT!" - "Chrysanthemum" - "Hurting for a Very Hurtful Pain" - "Intergalactic Beasties, Planetary People")

If anyone can guess the meaning to the first chapter's title, then mister...you need to quit peeking into my head! *Screams and grabs head* But, if you guessed it was from Freakazoid!, then you're right! It is! *Really cheesy grin.*

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**Intergalactic Beasties, Planetary People**

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Chapter 1: "Don't Say I Didn't Warn You Not to Ever Date a Monster!"

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Opening one's eyes, the first thing one could see was trees. Green all-encompassing, but mixed with several other colors; the mixture was frighteningly alien. The next thing one noticed was the pale blue sky, seemingly so thin; with small white clouds, and streaks of dark gray in it. The sounds were present immediately, but none were loud enough to jar one awake. The person would lay there, undisturbed, until either they felt like getting up, or something got their attention. In many ways, it was both.

In this case, with this certain individual, it was the smells, sounds, and sights which intrigued it to get up.

"..." Pushing up glasses only to find they were firmly stationed on its face, Dib, the being in question, stared around with impossible silence at the amazing sights before him. A being pushed things aside in a strange sort of rustle behind him.

"I believe that's called, 'Improbable Amazement'. Huh. I never thought you could _do_ that," responded the person behind him to his silent gaping. Dib turned around and saw what looked like a Vortian -he'd become somewhat familiar with Vortians recently- only this one seemed older, even ancient. It was a pinkish-color, and had long tapering head-things which were gathered into a weird little "pouf" at the ends, that which looked like a cross between a shower-cap and a decorative hand-bag. He decided that with its more delicate styles in clothes and long head-things, it must be a female of the species; but only in as much as it reminded him of human women.

"Wh-who are you? What do you want?! How do you know me?!" He asked almost simultaneously.

"Woah, woah, woah!" The being held up its hands as if in defense. But it held an air of authority, like it had dealt with children before. "I'm Lasch-mik, Lard-nar's _mother_. Psh, that boy's always getting into trouble! Except that _he_ usually calls us, that's unlike his ungrateful little brother! Always getting into trouble, that kid, but at least _he's_ not starting revolutions! Oh, I'm sorry, am I talking too much? I always do that," she appeared a bit concerned and looked at him.

Dib didn't know whether to be on his guard or to believe this strange person, but she seemed to behave ...like a mother. Or, at least, what he had read, heard about, or seen on T.V. about them. He couldn't really remember his. Blinking, now in a half-crouch and ready to spring if necessary, he asked, "Lard-nar's _mother_? Why would he tell you about me?"

Smiling humorously and holding a hand up to her mouth, she said, "Oh, come on! With a head THAT BIG? Anybody's going to notice! Especially a scientist like my boy! He called me up, babbling about how there was this little alien boy with a mysteriously large head -he said it was strange, because measurements showed it wasn't really as large as it seems, oh, and," she was gesturing, now waving a hand nonchalantly, "He might've mentioned you fighting an Irken on your home planet or something...and how you wanted to join the Resisty's fight against Operation Impending Doom II, you know, the usual... anyways," she seemed about to continue talking, but had paused, either to catch her breath or to organize her thoughts.

Dib tried to take in what she'd just said -an alien leader of a resistance against the Irken Empire was telling his mother about _his_ big head- but he didn't quite have time to process the entire thing, because...

A giant "BOOM!" along with gray clouds of dust sounded in the distance. Dib turned around to stare at the commotion behind him; Lasch-mik seemed shocked, and had jumped a bit, shielding her eyes as she stared. They both felt dumb-struck, but soon they felt the impending need to run -and so they did. In the exact opposite direction.

Dib and Lasch-mik ran through the great jungle, though the area they were in was rather clear of trees. They jumped over fallen logs and tried their hardest to shimmy up a tree at one point, only to find out that that moss was _not_ useful for climbing, just slippery. As they ran, losing track of their initial position, terrified of the large and calamitous sounds and clouds of dust which followed the initial "BOOM!", Dib was consistently hit with various things, whilest Lasch-mik seemed to escape unscathed.

At one point, Dib even heard her say, "I wish Lard-nar was here!" But he had no time to contemplate it; that is, until he ran face-first into a wall. A large tree, that was. But still...

"Diib!" Exclaimed Lasch-mik, then she grabbed his dazed body and pulled them in behind a red bush. It was a very nice red bush. Complete with little cups like daffodil-shaped tea-cups and saucers! But that will be considered another time.

"Ow...what'd I hit?" He asked as he rubbed his forehead.

"A tree," said Lasch-mik.

"What, was it IRON-WOOD?!" He exclaimed incredulously. He couldn't believe anyTHING could be that hard. It had reminded him of Gaz's boot. Except that it wasn't quite as hard as that. And she liked to use her Weasel-Stomping Day boots -the ones with spikes.

"Relax," she said somewhat soothingly. "It didn't break the tree," she smirked at the grumpy look he gave her.

He'd gotten used to people referring to the size of his head; but now saying it was a dangerous object? "Hah, hah, very funny..." he said sarcastically.

"Oh, don't be like that," she said in a typical motherly reprimand, "In any case, it looks like the crashing has stopped -" There was a large, defiant crash just at that moment, as if to insist that it didn't stop for anyone.

"Oh, crud," She said in quite the understatement, because the crash sounded so nearby, it bounced them into the air and made the rocks behind them crack. The dark shadow loomed over them, and it looked as if they would be swallowed up by the dust clouds.

"Let's get out of here~!" Yelled Dib as he grabbed her and dove away from it. The two of them ran on again for what seemed like ages; though in actuality it wasn't that long.

Finally they came to a large wall. "Well, it looks like we're not going any further!" Said Lasch-mik.

"What is THIS?!" Exclaimed Dib. "It looks like a metal wall or something!" The large, gray-ish thing loomed up, covered in different places with small bits of vegetation; the entire thing looked both like sheer rock and metal. Like a man-made climbing wall or something.

"It's a phi-ite rock mixed with pho-ite. Huh! Never thought I'd see that. Well, it's theoretically a metal-like rock. Or is a rock-like metal? In any case, we aren't climbing up it," replied Lasch-mik.

"Phi-ite? Pho-ite? What kind of-" he was about to ask what kind of rocks/minerals those were, but the crashing and dust-clouds were getting louder. "Wha! We need to get out of here! Quickly, where can we go?"

Thinking as she rubbed her chin with a finger, Lasch-mik then said, "I don't think we need to go anywhere!"

"WHAT!?" Exclaimed Dib in shock.

"LOOK!" She said, suddenly shouting to get his attention. He seemed to look surprised at this, so she continued, "When it comes at us, we'll run straight for it! Then we can duck out of the way and get behind it. Hopefully..." she muttered the last part quietly, making Dib wonder if it would be a good idea. But there wasn't much time to decide on that, so they went with the plan.

The loud crash sounded so loud it almost shook them off their feet; but just as it got close, they both charged forward, Dib smacking into a large leg of some kind, but recoving quickly, and soon they were behind it. It looked like a some-what big lizard. But that's not what shocked them.

"It's not even that _big_!" Exclaimed Dib. He felt cheated by the lack of real imposing monstrosity. It was only a couple of stories high; not even much to write home about. Or boast to his sister about.

"That's not the problem!" Exclaimed Lasch-mik, pointing ahead of them. There were several crashing dust-clouds, all headed straight for them. They both screamed: then ran ahead, skirting around the large, imposing dust-clouds.

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After an interminable length of time, they arrived at a clearing, huffing and puffing; clearly tired out. Dib had been impressed at how well that old lady could run; but the impending death made it impossible for him to think very long about it. He'd assumed it had something to do with the way Vortians' legs are shaped.

Then they looked up. Standing there, looking exhausted and faces red, blue, and various different shades of colors that had nothing to do with their natural pigment, were several other aliens. "Uh...oh, uh..." Was all Dib could think to say. He'd run out of shock along with his breath. But there were a few faces he recognized.

"PLK!" Yelled one of the faces he'd recognized. It was Lard-nar, and he ran towards his mother immediately. "Plk-plk, what are you _doing_ here!?" Dib assumed "Plk" was some form of endearment.

"Heck if _I_ know!" She said, "I just woke up near this little brat, and we spent the last five or ten minutes running from whatever in the heck those lizard things are!" She explained, pointing at the "brat", Dib.

"What? Five or ten _minutes_?! Come on, it _had_ to be longer than _that_!" Dib spoke up, having finally caught his breath.

"Dib?!" Came a couple of familiar voices. Dib looked up to see faces which, though he didn't recognize them, seemed somewhat familar.

"Who?" He asked as they walked over to him.

"It's me, Agent Tuna Ghost!" Replied the woman. She had glasses and a pink-violet mop of punk-tastic hair, with one skull earring. She also had a silver necklace with pink stars, yellow dots, and a couple of skulls.

"And me, Agent Nessie!" Said the man. He had swept-back prussian-blue hair, with goggles and a white lab-coat with a neck that came up to mostly cover his mouth. He had a name-tag for "Scotch Pharmeceuticals", and looked every bit the part of a pharmacist.

"Ah!" Said Dib. "Of course! I thought you looked familiar! How'd you get here?" He asked, not even questioning how they knew his real name. It wasn't exactly rocket-science to figure that out.

"Well, probably the same way you did," replied Agent Nessie.

"Yeah, woke up in a strange place, next to some aliens." Replied Agent Tuna Ghost.

Dib was disappointed that they didn't have any better information. "Well, good; at least we're all on the same page," he replied sardonically.

"Hey, who's that?" Came a high-sounding, slightly familiar voice.

"I think it's that Large-headed Kid." Came another familiar, lower-sounding voice.

"Oh, yeah! Heh, heh, that one," replied the high-sounding voice. Looking over, one realized that they were the Almighty Tallests, along with a shorter, yellow-ish-green-eyed Irken who was currently clinging onto the pak of the Purple one.

Dib hadn't noticed them until now; quite frankly, they blended in with the crazy color-scheme of the "greenery". "Hey! What are you-" he started, but then he remembered, "Oh, wait..."

Lard-nar had stopped chatting with his mother and turned to glare at the Irkens, "Just great; of all the planets I could be mysteriously stuck on-"

"Now _don't_ start that again~!" Came the voice of a rather annoyed alien. (You may now imagine him with an English accent. Come on. You know you already did.) He was a blue-ish-gray-ish, and had two little tongues hanging out of his mouth. He also had two sets of tiny eyes, and two tiny fangs poking out at the corners of his wobbly-looking lips. He had a mop of rather flat, pale red spiky hair, and was humanoid-looking except for his feet -which were like two cones or hooves. Maybe cone-shaped hooves? In any case, he seemed like he was getting rather annoyed at Lard-nar.

Just as Lard-nar, the other alien, and the Irkens were arguing, another Irken stepped out of seemingly nowhere, stating to Dib, "Well, now -looks like your HEAD has gained intergalactic fame."

"Tak! What are you-D'oh! I mean, I didn't see you there! What's going on here?!" Replied Dib, glad to finally find his comrade-in-arms against Zim in this trans-planetary nightmare. They walked towards each other, but kept their voices at normal pitch to avoid suspicion.

After all, Dib was interested in helping the Resisty -but he also was hoping to catch Zim and prove to his own people aliens existed. Tak was glad to assist, because she had a grudge against him. But despite being comrades against Zim and going on crazy, psychic, and otherwise paranormal adventures together, he still didn't quite get the reason why she was willing to cooperate with him. It all seemed too much like she was hiding something from him -especially as of late, when she'd left to do "something important" just as they seemed to be getting along well enough.

"It looks like I'm going to be stuck here with some of the most annoying people," She said, sighing.

"Hey, where's the necklace?" Asked Dib, referring to her psychic power-enhancing necklace.

"It's right here," she pointed to her pak.

"Good," Dib seemed to sigh with relief, "I wonder if there's anyone else out there? Do you think you can sense 'em?"

Tak shrugged. "I've already tried, but the only ones I've been able to find are us," she guestured to the rest of the arguers, "and the various life-forms on this planet. But we're the only sentient ones so far."

"Then maybe we'll find someone when we move around?" Suggested Dib. "Just how far is your search-radius?"

"Only about-" Tak started, but turned to see Lard-nar coming up to them. 'Stay cool,' she mentally reminded Dib, and he let out a breath. He didn't wonder why she could do that without the necklace. He couldn't even see its chain around her neck.

"Hey, what's going on here? Why are you so _friendly_ with this -_Irken_?!" Lard-nar spat out the last word like it was pure poison.

Sighing, Dib explained with some mental coaching from Tak, "This is Tak. She's been helping me out with a certain, er, problem...that...totally doesn't involve any alien governments or anything!" Dib held his hands up and grinned cheesily. Tak hoped his bad acting-skills wouldn't be noticed. But, apparently, Lard-nar bought it.

"Yeah, well..." With a hand on his chin, he seemed to be sizing Tak up. But eventually he said, "I wouldn't trust 'em, but okay. If you say so..." he seemed to be relatively pleased with his assessment, so he wandered off.

'Cheap, much?' Tak directed this thought about Dib's acting skills towards him.

Dib sent a look her way and thought, '_You told_ me say it!'

'Yes, and you were a _terrible_ actor!' Tak thought back as she turned away. No one noticed this quick thought exchange, and both Dib and Tak went back to their respective sides of the group.

The group of sixteen had now separated into the Resisty's side, the Irkens' side, and the Undecideds', who seemed to regard the rest with nervous gazes. Despite their relative similar predicament, the two opposing sides were intent on blaming the others.

"*Sigh* This is getting us NOWHERE!" Exclaimed an alien from the Undecideds' group, a tall, black alien whose head ended in two points, with a reddish-orange bit in the middle. He had almond-shaped, shiny, pale blue eyes, and seemed to be dressed nicely. He walked past the other two squabbling groups and stood at the edge of the clearing, arms crossed in disdain.

"But- THEY'RE the horrible bad guys!" Insisted Lard-nar, who seemed to have run out of intelligent arguments.

"We ARE NOT!" Shouted Tallest Purple.

The adviser sitting on Tallest Purple's pak had jumped off, and was now saying, "We have NOTHING to do with this! It must've been one of your stupid Resisty ideas!"

"It's just as _stupid_ as your NAME!" Added Tallest Red.

"Hey!" Shouted Lard-nar, "Why would WE put ourselves in danger?!"

"WE wouldn't even go NEAR this horrible planet! Especially without any snacks!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple.

"Will you LISTEN to yourselves?! You're acting like _children_!" Exclaimed the tall black alien who'd spoken up earlier. The ones he addressed seemed to turn their gaze down in shame. "If we can't find any other reason for why we would all be here, then isn't it obvious that someone _else_ must've done it?!"

"I agree. This doesn't seem like anything we would've done," Replied Tak. "No one here has either the desire nor technology to do something like this. So it must've been an outside force." She seemed to be glancing about, trying to take in the surroundings.

"Hhhmmm...an outside force...well, I'm all out of ideas. I can't think of any_thing_ or any_one_ who would care enough to pick us all out of our homes and drop us on the same horrible planet. *Sighs* There goes my 'Space Ghost Revenge' theory..." Dib replied, holding his chin in thought. The others nodded thoughtfully. Dib noticed that Tak seemed somewhat alert. Or was it nervous? It was irritating the way she kept glancing about. _He_ was supposed to be the suspiciously alert one!

"Hey, why do you keep looking around like that?" The Tallests' adviser asked.

"Oh, uh..." realizing they were all looking at her, Tak finally explained, "I noticed that we haven't heard any of those crashing lizards recently." Then, thinking towards Dib, 'And I'm worried that I can't sense something...'

"What?!" Asked Dib suddenly, then he realized he shouldn't respond to telepathy with words. But the others didn't notice; they were all too worried about the noise-less crashing lizards.

"She's right; it has stopped!" One of the aliens said. This one was a gloopy-looking alien, completely yellow, with reddish and brown colored thingies that looked like petals on its head, and one red eye.

"Oh, my! Are they gonna' eat us!?" Exclaimed the blob-woman.

"Hey, we should get out of here!" Said an alien who looked surprisingly human, and wore what could only be considered "Mad Hatter cosplay".

"Y-Yeah, maybe we should get out of here..." agreed Lard-nar.

"It's too out in the open..." agreed the Tallests' advisor.

Suddenly, something came screaming out of the jungle, frightening everyone out of their socks. They had to find them to put them back on again. But in the meantime...

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!" Screamed the oddly triangular form of the alien, which slammed into Tallest Purple's back and hung on there until the adviser managed to pry it loose. "DON'T LET IT GET ME, DON'T LET IT GET ME!"

"AAAAHHHHH! IT'S ON MY PAK! IT'S ON MY -OH DEAR SWEEET HULLA-BULLUHLUHLUHLUH, HELP MEEE!" Screamed Tallest Purple. Tallest Red was trying to find something to shoot it with. The adviser pried the little alien loose and flung it to the ground. After the screaming died down, they looked at it to find...

"SHLOONKTAPOOXIS!" Yelled Lard-nar.

"AAAHHH!" Screamed the triangular alien in response.

"What in HAIRY-NAHRRY'S NAME are you DOING, frightening us to DEATH!?" Lard-nar shouted, pointing at him.

The alien blinked. "Oh, HI, Sir!" He grinned stupidly. "Man am I glad to see YOU here!"

'Hey,' thought Dib to Tak, 'I thought you said there weren't any others around here!'

'No,' replied Tak, 'I said there weren't any other _sentient_ life-forms around here.'

Dib raised an eyebrow at the little triangular alien. She had a point.

Lard-nar looked like he was about to punch him. "Hey, is this guy one of yours?" Asked Tallest Purple, pointing at it.

Lard-nar seemed a bit embarrassed as he cleared his throat, "ACHEM, uh...yes..."

Tallest Purple pointed to Tak, "You! Punish it."

"Yes, Sir!" Tak saluted, then turned to Shloonktapooxis and glared.

"YEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Yelled the triangular floaty alien, before he flew off into the jungle.

"Waaaiit! Shloonky, you don't know the waaayyy!" Shouted Lasch-mik, as she ran off after him.

Tak just blinked. "Wow. And I didn't even _do_ anything." The others nodded in respect for her glaring intimidation.

"It looks like we're stuck with a moron..." mumbled the Tallests' adviser.

"More like a FEW..." Grumbled Tallest Red.

"*Sigh* I guess I better go help my mother catch him. He's liable to run off to who-knows-where, and- uh- ouh...!" Lard-nar suddenly stared agog at what was behind the Almighty Tallests, and he contemplated whether he should tell them, or let them be potentially attacked by whatever it was.

"What?" Agent Nessie turned around and instantly realized why he was looking so scared. Everyone had decided to turn to look at what had positively frightened him.

A giant, gray-ish cloud, shaped in the inextricable shape of a bunny-rabbit, seemed to have descended out of the sky nearby. They all instantly ran away from it.

After running -yet again- from the incredibly disturbing and yet bunny-ish clouds, they finally stopped for breath. If they kept running like this, it might qualify as an Olympic Marathon.

"This," gasped Dib, "Is like an awful, real-life version of the Blair Witch Project!"

"You mean there's something even _worse_ than the original?!" Exclaimed Agent Nessie.

"NOTHING is worse than the original! Believe me, I had to _RESEARCH_ it!" Responded Agent Tuna Ghost. The other two looked at her in sympathy.

"We lost my motheeerrr!" Moaned Lard-nar in the background. "I'm going back to look for her!"

"Hey, I was wondering, are all Earthlings as tall as you?" Asked Tallest Red to Agent Nessie, who was standing nearby.

Agent Nessie just blinked and then said, "But, I'm only five foot nine!"

"If you want tall, I know some people in Noway who are even larger," commented Agent Tuna Ghost, who was actually taller than Agent Nessie.

"And how tall are _you_?" Asked Tallest Purple to Agent Tuna Ghost.

"Without my heels? Six feet, even." She replied.

"I don't believe you!" Said Tallest Purple, who was about six and a half feet. "Take off your shoes and let's see!"

"Okay, then..." Agent Tuna Ghost then proceeded to remove her shoes and stood up for a measuring contest with the Tallest.

"Alright, before this gets any more bizarre..." Dib spoke up, "Does anyone have any idea where we are, or what we should do now? I mean, I'm no expert, but-"

"THEN SHUT-UP!" Shouted the rest of the group. They were understandably tired from running around so much.

Glaring, Dib unadvisedly continued, "Look, I just think that we should try and find some place to-"

Poking him on the shoulder, the Tallests' adviser said, "Hey, hey, Big-Head-Kid, be quiet! The Tallests don't like it when anyone disturbs a 'Tall-Off," he explained.

A song started playing in the background which sounded suspiciously like OMC's "How Bizarre".

Looking at the scene, which involved both Agents Tuna Ghost and Nessie with their shoes off now, being scanned for comparison with the Almighty Tallests, Dib stared for a second and then glared.

"Oh, you've GOT to be kidding me," he moaned and rubbed his head.

"Hey, that reminds me," said the blue-gray alien with two tongues sticking out that just seemed to dangle there, unused. "How'd you manage to enlarge your head so much? 'Cause that thing's _wicked_!"

"Look, I'm only going to say this once, but ENOUGH with the comments about the size of my head! I mean, I don't go around saying, 'Hey, two-tongued guy, you sure got two tongues hanging outside of your mouth!' or, 'Hey, yellow goo-alien, you sure are yellow!' And besides," Dib crossed his arms, "My name's _Dib_, NOT Big-Head-Kid!"

"Well, aren't YOU special!" The Tallests' adviser poked Dib in the head, as if to let out some of his hot air. "Don't get too full of yourself, or else something _bad_ might happen to you!"

"Oh, like it _hasn't_ happened already!" Replied Dib.

"Hey, and while we're on the subject of names," commented the yellow gloopy-looking alien with one red eye and a bit of what looked like reddish and brown flower petals on its head, "My name's Tarky." It nodded to Dib.

"Uh...hi," he said, unsure with the sudden friendliness.

"And I'm Vrilly," said the alien who looked surprisingly human, wearing the "Mad Hatter Cosplay" get-up.

"I'm Crystal," said the crystalline alien who looked like a living, shining jewel.

"Crystal?!" Asked a few others incredulously.

"What can I say? My family thought it was ironic!" She replied with a shrug.

"I'm Clasps," said the blob-woman. "And I'm a female, just in case you were wondering." Everybody nodded. They weren't wondering, but they gratefully accepted the explanation.

"Me, too!" Said Vrilly. "I'm female!"

"Me, three!" Said Crystal.

"Oh, are we doing intros and stuff? I'm Vick, and I'm female!" Added Agent Tuna Ghost after having been thoroughly measured by the Tallests. They seemed sufficiently pleased that the two Earthlings in question were indeed shorter than them.

"I'm Tak, and I'm female," stated Tak, though she didn't think it needed to be said.

"*Sigh* Okay, since everybody else is doing it," said the Tallests' adviser, "I'm Sploods, and I'm an Adviser to the Almighty Tallests." Sploods stood up straighter as he said this. "And I'm male."

"Yes, and you all know us, WE'RE," Tallest Purple spoke up, "The Almighty Tallest, leaders of the GREAT and Marvelous Irken Empire, and you may all call us 'Sir'!"

Everyone else who had an opinion about their haughty attitudes kept silent.

"And we're both male," added Tallest Red, just in case. Tallest Purple poked him with an elbow, and they had a quick slap-fight before finishing.

"I'm Ploopoh," the blue-gray alien with two tongues said, "And I'm male."

"I am THROBULATOOOR!" Yelled an alien with a brainy-looking head, which seemed to lack a skull. "I am a MAAALLLEEE!"

"Gee, if _that_ isn't obvious..." mumbled Agent Nessie.

"Huh? Did you say something?" Asked Tarky, but Agent Nessie turned his head away and instantly pretended like it didn't concern him.

"I'm Starky, and I'm a male," said the tall black alien with the reddish-orange on his head. "I'm also an ambassador of my people, the Crstl-ine. It's nice to meet you." He said with absolutely no enthusiasm.

_(A/N: "Crstl-ine" is Pronounced "Kurst-a-line".)_

"Hey, Dib-kid, male or female?" Asked Ploopoh, poking him.

Sighing, Dib said, "I'm a male."

"Well, I'm female, _obviously_, since I'm Lard-nar's _mother_; I'm Lasch-mik!" Stated a slightly singed-looking Lasch-mik, holding a badly-singed, but happy-looking, Shloonktapooxis.

"WHAAAHHH!" Yelled everybody in shock at their sudden return.

Gasping, Ploopoh said, "Geeze, you scared us! What happened to Lard-nar? I thought he went looking for you?!"

Lasch-mik developed a confused look and said, "I didn't see 'Nar any-"

Just then, Lard-nar came running through the bush, with an angry, rabid beast on his heels. (No one took the time to observe the beast's appearance, other than that it was dark red in color and was bearing its sharp teeth with foaming saliva.) Once he reached the group he ran and hid behind the Irkens, just to make sure it ate them, first. But once it appeared, everyone screamed so loudly that the wild, rabid beast decided it didn't want to eat these scary things; and it ran off, whimpering like a hyena into the background. The group looked on, impressed...but confused.

"How bizarre, how bizarre," was still playing on in the background, and a couple of people lifted their heads to look around for the source of the sound.

"Well, that's shocking," said Lasch-mik, letting Shloonktapooxis go. He floated up, looking around for Lard-nar.

"Hey, it's gone, Sir! You can come out, now!" He said as he saw Lard-nar cowering in fear behind the Tallests. Looking up, Lard-nar stood up and tried to look as if he hadn't been about to shed precious bodily fluids in embarrassing, alien ways when running from that beast.

"I'm, I'm okay..." He walked stiffly over to the rest of the group. Then he turned, pointing to a bush and said, "I'm just, uh...gonna' need to go over there for a few minutes...! Don't worry about me," he ran behind the bush swiftly.

The group waited a few moments until they heard, "AAAAAAAAARRRRAAGHEHWHSUIDWFWJAJAAAAAHHHAHFAHHAAAAA!"

Silence.

"Well, I guess that means he's fine!" Shloonktapooxis smiled with his tongue sticking out. The others regarded him with calm wonderment.

'Isn't he worried about him?' Thought Dib.

'The lights are on, but nobody's home,' replied Tak telepathically. She and Dib exchanged a glance before looking away.

"Phew! Well, speaking of bushes..." Started Agent Nessie, "I think I might need to use one after all this..."

Vick smirked, "Yeah, that's a good point."

"After all this, I don't think I can go," commented Dib dully. He felt like he couldn't relax around all those aliens.

"What are you guys talking about?" Asked Vrilly.

"Using the restroom." Replied Vick. "Anybody else here have to go?" She asked the group.

Several people, sans-Irkens, raised their hands.

"Okay, then, this way's the little girl's room, er, females' room," she pointed to an out-cropping of rock, "and that way's the little males' room," she pointed to several large, bushy bushes and trees in the opposite direction.

Everyone started heading in their prescribed directions.

Except for one. Tarky started heading off alone to another large bush. "Hey, where are you goin'?" Asked Shloonktapooxis.

"The hermaphrodites' room," explained Tarky as "he" pointed.

And, unlike another popular scene, nobody wanted to use the hermaphrodites' room.

* * *

After a good restroom-break and several mishaps involving what to and what not to use as toilet-paper, they were all (relatively) refreshed. (After a while, Dib even managed to relax enough to go. I just know you were all curious about that.)

"Alright, what's next?" Asked Sploods, after everyone had finally emerged. Even Lard-nar had finally re-joined the group, looking like he hadn't almost had a nervous break-down. 'Darn, I was hoping for that,' thought Sploods as he realized this.

Vrilly waved her arm, "We build a shelter and look for food?" Everyone nodded in agreement to that.

"Then we can build a fire and look around, make a map of this place," Added Lard-nar.

"Unless, of course...a fire attracts those animals..." mentioned Agent Nessie, who had somehow managed to avoid giving his real name during introductions.

Everyone looked silent and nervous at this. "Of course, it _could_ scare them off," suggested Shloonktapooxis.

They started mumbling amongst themselves, until Sploods finally managed to get their attention again. "SHUT-UUUUP!"

"What?" Asked Ploopoh, who hadn't been paying attention.

"Let's organize into groups!" Shouted Sploods, "Group one will look for a place or materials to build a shelter! Group two will search the area for edible foods!"

"Oooh! Oooh!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple, waving his hands, "WE'LL be in THAT GROUP!" Tallest Red was grinning happily, thinking of getting something to eat. But it seemed slightly evil to some...

"I guess _I'll_ be in the Food Group," said Lard-nar, "Just to make sure that those two don't feed us anything poisonous!"

"Oh, I'll go, too! We have to search for water, as well!" Agent Nessie jumped up, walking over to him.

"Okay...anyone else for the Food Group?" Asked Sploods.

"I don't need to; I have a slightly different diet, but I'm good at identifying plants, so I'm okay." Replied Tarky. Though technically, he just said this because he didn't want to be in the same group as the Almighty Tallests and the Resisty's leader! They just didn't stop arguing!

"I'll go! I have to look for minerals!" Replied Crystal.

"Anybody else?" Nobody wanted to join, so the group of food-gatherers was formed of the Almighty Tallests, Sploods, Lard-nar, Agent Nessie, and Crystal.

"Then, I guess we'll just look for decent shelter," said Vick. The others agreed.

"Someone should stay here and guard the camp," suggested Clasps. Everyone agreed with that.

"But who?" Asked Ploopoh.

"How about whoever's weaker?" Suggested Lard-nar. His mother grabbed one of those things on his head and pulled at it. "Ow, ow! Er, I mean, they can -can try and figure out how to make a fire!" His mother seemed satisfied with this, and so she let go.

"I suppose I'll stay behind -I'm not very strong," said Clasps, the blob-woman. The others nodded in sympathetic agreement.

"I can stay behind," said Vrilly, "I'm sort-of weak, and I've had some outdoors experience." The others "Ooo-ed" at this, and agreed.

"Then I guess that just leaves me," said Lasch-mik, "As you can see, I'm not exactly a spring space-chicken." The others nodded but decided not to say anything about this statement. Dib raised an eyebrow at the "spring space-chicken" mention, but said nothing.

"Then, we'll get going!" Said Vick, "Let's fan out and search the area for caves or other natural features, but make sure you stay within ear-shot of each other."

"Come on, Dib, we can use your big head to place things on," said Tak as she grabbed him by his hair-scythe. Vick laughed at this and didn't care to help him out of that predicament, as Tak dragged him along.

"Ow! Oowch! Hey, quit it!" Yelled Dib as Tak continued to drag him. Eventually she stopped dragging him after they went over a rock or two, and he walked, grumbling as he rubbed his scalp.

"Hey," said Vick as the group, which had remained together in a loose formation slowed in front of a particular circle of trees, "What do you guys think of this thing?"

The group, consisting of Vick, Dib, Tak, Shloonktapooxis, Tarky, Throbulator, Starky, and Ploopoh, stared at it.

"It looks like a Fairy Circle," mentioned Ploopoh. Dib's head perked up.

"A Fairy Circle?!" Said Dib, but Tak pulled down on his hair-scythe again.

"Down, Paranorm-head!" She said, then gloated in psychic triumph as he hit the ground. Grumbling, Dib stood up and dusted his pants off.

"Geeze, what's _with_ you today?!" He said as he observed her particular glee in tormenting him recently.

She smirked but said nothing. 'Oh, nothing~' she thought at him, causing him to glare.

This little interaction went relatively unnoticed as the others observed the trees as a potential shelter.

"I wonder if the fairies will let us use it?" Asked Shloonktapooxis, as they all conversed as to whether or not they would.

"Why don't they just ask them?" Wondered Vick.

"No one knows how the group mind-set works," mentioned Starky, who was standing beside her, with a smirk.

"Then maybe their minds need to be re-set?" Said Tak, then she walked towards the others who were still talking.

"Oh, my...I think something bad's going to happen..." said Vick, as she watched Tak walk over there.

"Why do you say that?" Asked Dib.

"Let's just call it 'Woman's Intuition'..." she replied, sweatdropping nervously.

"If that's anything like my Tarsey, then something bad _is_ going to happen..." said Starky nervously. Dib just raised an eyebrow at this.

There was some loud noise, and Shloonktapooxis was somehow lodged inside Tarky's head -he didn't seem to have a mouth- and after that the others were completely obedient.

"Oh, my...!" Mumbled Dib as he rubbed his forehead and shook his head. He was actually rather amused at how she'd managed to do that; if only that it reminded him of what had happened to himself some time earlier when they were chasing after Zim. He'd ended up wedged in the middle of the guy who wears the Bloaty the Pizza Hog costume's stomach. It took them three hours and the Jaws of Life to rescue him from that predicament. In the meantime, Gaz was laughing her head off, while Tak watched on amusedly, drinking an alien soda. He now knew exactly how hilarious it looked, and was having a hard time keeping himself from laughing out of mutual respect for the familiar circumstance. Vick and Starky, however, weren't.

"Wow, you're actually managing to keep a straight face!" Vick said, "I admire your political awareness."

Looking straight at her with a look of incredulity, Dib said, "'Political Awareness'? Just what the heck are you talking about?!"

Laughing again, Vick said, "I don't know!"

Dead-pan, Dib replied, "Whatever," and went back to watching Tak's violent management of the group.

"Political...!" Laughed Starky.

"H-Hey, this reminds me of the time when you were stuck in that guy's stoma-" Vick started reminiscing on the widely-televised event previously mentioned.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THAT!?" Yelled Dib in embarrassment. It was one thing that it was broadcast all over the evening news nationwide -and in some cases world-wide- it was quite another thing to have it proclaimed to a bunch of aliens, especially an ambassador!

The two laughed even more, and then Starky said to Vick, "Hey, wait...some guy's stomach? So, like, did he get eaten?"

"Oh, no," replied Vick. Dib knew he was powerless to stop them now, but that didn't stop him from jumping and waving frantically. "He was actually just lodged within this really really fat guy's rolls of fat, and-"

"Aarrrggh! Oooouuugh!" Moaned Dib in dispair. He was crouching some ways away with his head in his hands. "In front of a bunch of aliens~!" The humiliation in front of tons of cool aliens was too heavy. Sure, he was used to his own people making fun of him, but aliens who didn't have benighted views on things? Awful.

'Oh, will you look at yourself!' Thought Tak as she walked back over to him. 'You can at least hold your fat, big _head_ up!' She pulled him up by his hair-scythe -yet again- and said, "Are you done being pitiful yet?"

"Brings new meaning to the phrase, 'Stuck in a comfortable position!'" Starky was saying as he noticed Dib's malaise. "Actually, that's usually referred to my own position."

"Your position?" Asked Vick, at about the time Tak had arrive to pull Dib's head out of his knees.

'Oh, great, I think he's hitting on Vick,' thought Tak as she walked over to them.

'_Hitting_ on her?!' Thought Dib incredulously. 'But he's an alien!' Then, after a moment's thought, 'Hey, didn't he say something about someone named Tarsey? Who was-'

'It was probably one of his wives. Crstl-ine males can have up to three wives, since the females greatly outnumber the males, and not all are fertile,' stated Tak blankly as she spoke to the two. Dib's curiousity was satisfied, so he didn't pursue the issue. It was also a slightly embarrassing issue.

"Hey, Genius, your ulterior motive's showing," said Tak cruelly as she stared up at them.

"Wh-wha-!?" Said Starky as the part on his head that was usually red-orange turned slightly purplish, almost like iridescence. He turned his head away and said, "What a rude thing to say!"

"What 'ulterior motive'?" Asked Vick. Starky had just been telling her about his totally pointless and cushy job. Apparently being an ambassador when one's planet was a part of the Irken Empire was rather like being the Almighty Tallest. All the glamor, without really having to do anything.

Tak motioned with her finger to come closer, so Vick leaned down, "As a female, do you _really_ have to ask that question?" Whispered Tak.

Looking back at the embarrassed Starky who had been wandering off, Vick then said, "Oh, you've got to be kidding me! _Seriously_?! There's no way..." Tak just nodded. "Oh, I can't _wait_ to tell my friends about this!" She then sort-of skipped off in the direction of the rest of the group, which had since been engaged in an interesting discussion with the inhabitants of the group of trees they had previously been confuzzled over.

Nobody quite knew what became of the issue after that, but Vick had a sort-of satisfied rosy tinge to her cheeks for the next few hours. Of course, that could also have been from all the running they were doing.

"That...was..." Dib started, but then said, "You know, I'm not really sure WHAT to say about this."

Tak just laughed because it was one of the few time's she'd seen him speechless.

"WHAT? WHAAAT!?" Shouted Dib, who'd missed the joke.

"Okay, kids~!" Said Vick in a sort-of sing-song voice. The group had returned with her and was staring at a laughing Tak and an angry Dib, and wondered why Starky had wandered off in embarrassment. "The current residents of the trees told us that it isn't large enough, but! There's a rather large out-cropping of rock that-a-way if we can get a move on before night." She seemed sort-of happy, and the others wondered if they should question it.

Vick was just flattered that an alien really wanted to flirt with her. 'Yes! Score one for my feminine wiles~!' She thought to herself. 'Even though I wasn't actually using them.'

After that, the group re-grouped, with poor Starky trying to avoid Vick. Vick didn't mind because she wasn't interested in him, anyways. They headed in the direction of the out-cropping of rock, making sure to back-track enough so they knew where their camp-site was.

_(A/N: Okay, I think I've sufficiently made it clear enough that Starky was just flirting and Vick wasn't interested, so there won't be any romance between these two characters! But, you know...I can never be too careful with fan-fiction, right~?)_

After walking for quite a long while, Dib finally sat down with a flop! and said, "Man, I could use a drink of water!"

"I know, *sigh* I wish we had some sort of scanner or some way of finding water..." said Vick, looking around.

"Like a dowsing rod," said Dib.

Vick snickered, "Yeah, but where're we gonna' find an elderberry branch around here?" Making silly paranormal jokes seemed like a good way to pass the time, but it did nothing to help the confusion of the folks around them.

"What's 'water'?" Asked Starky.

"What's a 'dowsing rod'?" Asked Shloonktapooxis.

"Why would you want an 'elderberry' branch?" Asked Trobulator. "Whatever that is."

"Well, I have a scanner, but it only works close-range," replied Tak helpfully. Dib was a bit surprised by this; but she seemed to indicate that it was safer in a group, and he had to agree with that assessment. Also, the Almighty Tallest were agreed to the group idea, and she didn't want to disobey them.

"OH!" Dib shouted as he suddenly got an idea, "Quick! Tak, scan the foliage and see if it has water in it!'

"Well, _now_ you're using your brain," she said, as she pulled a small screen out of her pak and aimed it a the plants. "Yep, it looks like some of the plants actually live off of water. Huh. But not all of them. There's a lot of various types of plants here; that's odd. These usually wouldn't live on the same planets, let alone right next to each other."

"You're right," said Tarky, who'd successfully removed Shloonktapooxis with nothing more than a sore head-area. "These look like Ti Lan flowers, but those are Shloompy!"

"Hhhmmm..." Thought Vick. "I can't think of anything. It's too bad we can't make heads or tails of this place; if we were on Earth, I would think to follow the ravines or find a place with the thickest foliage. But here it's wall-to-wall jungle, and I know not all the plants survive on water! *Sigh* Man, this place _SUCKS_!"

"Okay, just WHAT in the HECK is WATER!?" Exclaimed Ploopoh, throwing his arms up.

"What?!" The others looked at him in shock at his sudden outburst.

"Oh, right! Sorry, it's an element on our planet made up of two hydrogen and an oxygen molecule. It's essential to life and covers approximately 70% of the planet. Does that help?" Replied Vick with a sweatdrop.

"Okay! Thanks! FINALLY!" Said Ploopoh, flinging his arms up again.

After taking a moment for all this information to sink in, the others sudden shouted, "HYDROGEN AND OXYGEN!?"

"But wouldn't that be all esplodey and stuff?" Asked Tarky worriedly.

Smirking at this sudden shock, Dib said, "Well, when they're co-bonded it doesn't really do much."

"Yeah, it's actually considered a neutral base..." Added Vick, with a hand to her chin thoughtfully.

"I bet that'd be horribly deadly to Irkens," replied Starky, smirking because he got the chance to get back at Tak for embarrassing him.

"You have _no_ idea..." Said Tak through gritted teeth.

Trying to keep himself from giggling, (because he was sure Tak would injure him for it) Dib then said, "Hey, do you mind keeping that scanner out to look for water? In all this jungle we probably wouldn't see it, even if it is close by."

'You're just enjoying this little joke, _aren't_ you?!' Thought Tak, then she added, 'Well, wait and see when we come across some vlarkae, you won't be laughing then!' Then she turned sharply on her heel and walked off. However, she still kept the scanner out, as per his request. "We should get a move on." She stated simply.

"Gee, what's in _her_ cruller?" Asked Shloonktapooxis.

Almost losing his battle at not giggling, Dib said, "It's, uhm...I'll tell you later..." Then, after an angry growl from Tak up ahead, "Or, not at all!" He said as he started running.

"I have the feeling like we just missed a _really_ good joke," muttered Ploopoh. The others agreed with him on that one.

After walking for what felt like another hour, (in reality it had only been 30 minutes) the group stumbled upon what could only be described as, "That great, big pile of bulbous, horrendously-ugly, rocks." As Dib so succinctly put it.

The large gray chunks of rocks rose above them in some sort of comment about painful fecal-matter, but they dismissed it. Perhaps if they'd payed attention to its comments on fecal pain, then the next series of events wouldn't have happened.

First, the most easily-dismissed thing happened: a cool wind blew. "Well, it looks like we've reached the rocks those fairies told us about. Now, what?" Said Vick, brushing her hair back as the wind blew it across her face. The cooling wind made her want to sit down and relax.

"I don't think that we should stay here," stated Shloonktapooxis. As usual, everybody took to ignoring him. Maybe if they'd payed more attention to his comments, the next events wouldn't have happened, and The Resisty would have a much better name -The Pirate Monkeys!

"I opt to settle down here for the night; I'm tired!" Said Starky, who wasn't used to all this activity.

"But what about the others?" Asked Vick. "They don't know where we've gone -we need to get a message to them somehow."

"Don't worry, I can do that," said Tak, pulling out a little communicator from her pak. "Advisor Sploods, this is Tak. Can you hear me?" As she waited for a response, the others looked on intently. Then, suddenly, a holo-screen sprang up from the tiny thing, showing a very tired and angry-looking Sploods.

"Yeah, waddaya' want!?" He shouted, looking like he had several bruises in several different places.

"Um, uh...what happened to you?" Tak was too curious to continue on as normal.

"Several _DIFFERENT_ things, NOT including my wardrobe _and_ attire! Now, whaddaya' want?!" Poor Sploods. He was so irate, it was almost comical.

"We've located a possible place to make a shelter," began Tak, and Dib felt it necessary to interrupt.

"Yeah, next to the great big pile of bulbous, horrendously-ugly, rocks!" Glaring at Dib and mentally telling him to shut-up, Tak continued.

"We're about ten schpeks away from our original location, and it's growing dark. If you go north from the camp-site," she continued, but Dib interrupted again.

"No, not north! There was that giant pit of thorny brambles, remember?" The rest of the group nodded in pained agreement. The fairies had warned them of it, and then Ploopoh had taken one look too far over the edge and fallen into it. It was painful for him, and the group pulling him out.

Tak glared again, this time mentally asking why he didn't interrupt with pertinent information more often, then continued her report, "He's right; you'll have to go around it, either east or west once you reach it. We went west around its edge, and I believe that might be the long route. But we don't know what's around the eastern edge, so please take care. Once you circumvent the pit of thorns, you'll probably be able to see the large gray rocks rising from the north. That's where you need to go."

"Oh, riiiiggghhht, sssuuuurrreeee... We'll pull Lard-BUTT'S head out of this giant blue ground-plant, then hike right over to where _you_ are! *Sigh*" Sploods replied, then mumbled quietly, "Why'd I ever decide to go into politics...?!"

"Lard-nar got his _head_ stuck in a giant blue ground-plant?" Asked Shloonktapooxis. "Wow!" He wiggled his little tail excitedly.

"Politics involves pulling someone's head out of a- nevermind!" Said Ploopoh quickly, realizing that voicing his inner questions was _not_ the best of ideas right now.

"Yyyeaaah, so I'm gonna' have to help them -oh? What? You got it? Good!" Sploods showed the first good grin they'd seen on him today. Lard-nar showed up on the screen with his head next to Sploods', glaring. His head was, incidentally, covered in a yellowish-orange, translucent goo. It was neat. But he was not pleased.

"NO THANKS TO YOU," was all he said, as he glared sticks and stones at his hated adversary. Currently, they seemed to get on each other's nerves.

"Hey, the others found us a camp-site! One that's NOT in the middle of nowhere, _and_, has some nice rocks to protect us from, uh, stuff!" Replied Sploods, hopeful that he'd forget his anger and focus on that. It worked, and he did.

"The others found us some shelter?! Good! Then tell them to meet us back at the camp-site so they can lead us to it!" He replied, grinning.

The Shelter Group moaned collectively. "Nnnoo~oooo!" Shouted Ploopoh, "Anything but thaaa~aaat!"

"No way! You just gave them perfectly good directions!" Exclaimed Dib.

"And I ain't walking on these heels anymore -my feet are _killing_ me!" Replied Vick, who'd sat down on a rock and was considering taking off her shoes.

Sighing, Tak said, "I guess _I'll_ go -I'm the only one here who _doesn't_ seem to be acting like a big baby!" She shot a look over at Dib, who decided there was just no pleasing this person today, and so stopped trying. He turned his head away and pouted.

"Okay, fine," sighed Lard-nar. "We'll meet you at the camp-site, then. We've got enough food here for a small meal; oh, and about that 'water' liquid," he flinched a bit when he said it, "It's found in little puddles and depressions, but just don't try to drink any that's in a river or stream or something. Apparently it's tainted with cyanide, arsenic, and stricknine." Both Dib and Vick grimaced accordingly. "But, surprisingly, the stuff in the puddles and little depressions is quite pure, so you just need to find something to carry it in."

"Phew! _That's_ a relief!" Said Dib.

"Yeah, I didn't think we'd find any unless it rained or something," agreed Vick.

"What's 'rain'?" Asked Throbulator.

Sighing, Dib then began to explain the three forms of water and the water cycle; after which everybody was sufficiently bored. Maybe it was the boring sounds of Dib's talking which caused the next events.

"*Snarck!* Oh! Oh, uh...that was very...uh... Uh, interesting!" Replied Lard-nar, who had just barely managed to avoid falling asleep. Shloonktapooxis didn't fare so well, and bobbed up and down on Ploopoh's head, sleep-floating.

Poor Sploods looked like he was watching a children's show, his brain almost comatose from lack of activity, and he was happy when Lard-nar punched his head to snap him out of it.

"Wow...Irkens don't sleep, but I'm sure I almost went comatose," they could hear Tallest Red off-screen.

Tallest Purple moaned and Agent Nessie smacked himself on the head in a classic face-palm.

"Dib, you are never, _ever_ allowed to give any explanations, _ever again_!" Said Vick, looking like she was about to slap him.

"What?! But -" on seeing all their glares, Dib simply said, "Oh, alright!"

"Dib's voice seems to resonate with my crystalline structure in a way similar to sleep," commented Crystal from over the communicator.

"You mean...he's boring you to sleep?" Replied Lard-nar, getting a laugh.

"Um, no...I mean it feels like I just took a rest and now I'm awake! Let's get going!" Replied Crystal, jumping up and down.

"Well, his boring voice _does_ have a purpose," stated Lard-nar in surprise. Everyone nodded. "We should get moving again, or we won't make it to the camp-site before dark."

"Oh, alright~!" Moaned Tallest Purple.

"After _that_ long-winded explanation? I wouldn't mind climbing a mountain!" Replied Tallest Red with a slight smirk.

"Alright, we'll contact you if there's any trouble. Sploods out." The communicator's screen went dark.

"I'll go meet them at the camp-site," said Tak as she put the communicator back into her pak.

'You mean you're going _alone_?!' Dib thought at her, not wanting to seem overly concerned. But someone else wasn't too worried.

"You're going out there _alone_!?" Exclaimed Throbulator.

"That's not a very good idea," replied Starky.

"At least let one of us go with you, it's getting late," added Tarky.

"Then who else wants to hike _back there_?!" Replied Tak simply. There was silence from the group.

"I guess I'll go," sighed Dib at last.

'No! Stupid!' Said Tak mentally, then she said, "You humans need to conserve your strength; without water, you're useless."

Glaring at her, Dib couldn't refute her claim. They'd been hiking for at least a couple of hours now, running a lot, and his mouth was as dry as a desert. He didn't even want to_ think_ about how they'd bathe. 'I'm not an idiot,' was all he could think of to think in reply to her claim.

"She has a point," said Vick.

"Then take Shloonktapooxis, he doesn't have any legs, and he can float!" Replied Dib angrily. Quite frankly, her mood for this entire day was getting on his nerves. And it didn't help that she was psychically sharing it with _him_.

"Yeah!" Agreed Tarky.

Sighing, Tak grabbed the triangular alien, who was still snoozing on Ploopoh's head, and walked off to the south-east. She was going to try and get back to the camp-site from that direction, though the jungle looked even thicker through there.

"See ya'!" Said several people, as she walked off.

After a few minutes passed, Tarky spoke up and said, "So...who wants to play a game?" The others moaned and collapsed into their comfortable positions on the ground.

"Throbulator! Wants to play a game!" Exclaimed Throbulator in that odd way of his. That we all love~!

"Cool!" Said Tarky, and he went on explaining the rules of whatever game it was they were going to play.

Dib sighed and leaned back on a stone. 'I wonder how Tak's getting along... Even though she's being a big jerk to me today,' he thought.

'_I'm_ not being a big jerk, YOU ARE!' Tak shouted mentally back at him, making him frown and glare a bit. He wasn't even going to _try_ to figure this one out.

A faint whooshing sound came overhead. But everyone, being too tired, ignored it. There it came again, only louder this time. And then it came the third time, a shrieking whistling coming to their ears/hearing organs. After they looked up, it was already too late. A very large flying creature, closely resembling a brilliantly pinkish-red feathered bird with green skin, was dropping something light green at them. Screaming, they all had a split-second to react. Most ran away from the thing, Dib included.

It hit Dib right square in the head.

While the others peaked out from their hiding places, Dib painfully pulled himself up. The bird was still flying in the sky, but it didn't come at them again. It seemed to be looking for something else.

"Psst! Run, Dib! Run!" Said Vick from behind a small tree. _(A/N: Everybody, now! "Run, Forrest, run!")_

"Uuuwaauulggh~" moaned Dib, trying to stumble towards the rocks for a hiding-place.

In the dusky twilight, it was getting harder and harder to see. They hid for what seemed like hours, but though they could see it in the sky at times, it didn't come near them again. Hiding under anything they could find, they could faintly make out several screams from a distance. They grew much louder, and now they realized whose they were.

"It's the others!" Said Throbulator, remarkably quiet.

"I wonder what they've been up to?" Asked Tarky.

* * *

Backing up a bit, we can find out what they were up to, and what was happening then.

The Food Group had finally started heading back after communicating with Tak. Agent Nessie's coat was turned into a food-carrying tarp, and he and Crystal ended up carrying it most of the time.

Lard-nar was usually arguing with Sploods or anyone who decided to say something even slightly favoring the Irkens. Sploods had a hard time walking with his long robes, and kept tripping and even falling into things. He eventually had to cut part of them off, but he didn't like it.

The Almighty Tallest were bored and glad they could hover over the rough terrain, but it didn't mean they were free of the branches and stuff.

And Crystal was just happy to be getting back; she was sure she couldn't stand another minute with those annoying males.

As they walked along, Crystal sang a song, so she could drown out their voices. The bird-thing's piercing cry was heard, and everyone stopped, listening. It didn't seem too far off, but they couldn't tell where it was coming from. They continued on again, just in time to reach the pool of slimy, poisonous muck they'd had to pull Lard-nar out of on the first part of their trek.

Snickering about it, -except for Lard-nar, of course, who still had black stains on his skin- they all proceeded to avoid it. Then Agent Nessie stepped in a patch of what apparently were cacti, and stung himself on some puffy -hopefully not poisonous- balls extending from a tree branch.

The Tallest rushed to save the food, and Agent Nessie was extracted without too much trouble. The rest of the way, they all laughed about puffy balls and slimy, poisonous muck, much to Lard-nar and Agent Nessie's chagrin. The food tarp had to be taken away from the Tallest because they were munching on the food, which was the sole reason they hadn't been carrying it before...

There was a rush of wind, and they were all almost blown down. Crouching cautiously, they peered upwards, just in time to see yellow, hard-as-rocks fruit being hurled at them. (They knew they were hard as rocks because they'd tried eating them before.) Screaming loudly, everyone ran, the Tallest gathering up the corners of the food tarp and running off with it, to "keep it safe".

Nobody had the sense to argue when yellow, hard-as-rocks fruit was being thrown at them, and so they ran off towards the camp-site -at least, what they assumed was the general direction of it. Without conversing, it was hard to really tell where they were going. They could very well have been heading into the pit of thorns, for all they knew!

Clasps the blob-woman lifted her head at the sounds of screaming and rustling coming from the bushes. "Hey, does anyone else hear that?"

The other two, Lasch-mik and Vrilly, looked up as well and listened carefully. There was silence for what seemed like a good long minute, before-

"AAAAAHHAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Agent Nessie came hurtling through the bushes, screaming. Lard-nar and Sploods were right behind him, and Crystal was next, followed by... There was no one following.

Looking around, they slowly began to take stock of where they were and what they'd been doing.

"Hey!" Lard-nar finally said, "Where are those guys?!"

"Ah!" Crystal screamed as she realized what he was saying.

"CURSES! They had the FOOD WITH 'EM!" Exclaimed Lard-nar.

"HEY!" Shouted Sploods, totally fed up with Lard-nar blaming them for everything. "That BIRD was chasing after us -it probably caught THEM 'cause they had the FOOD!"

"HUH!?" Exclaimed Clasps, Lasch-mik, and Vrilly.

"NOOOOOEEEEESSS! WHATEVER SHALL WE DOOOOOO~OOO!?" Shouted Vrilly, falling to her knees and grabbing the small strands of hair that stuck out from under her hat. Then she looked up and noticed everyone staring at her.

Silence.

"Oh, what?!" She asked. "Like _I'M_ the ONLY one who thinks that if the leading government of an Empire falls, it'll be bad for the economy? Huh?"

The others blinked, and considered that for a moment.

"Well, yes, but, considering that the Almighty Tallest don't exactly _make_ the decisions-" Began Lard-nar, just before another "whooshing" sound was heard, and they all looked in its direction, half-expecting the bird to come swooping down on them at that moment.

But instead, they saw a very different scene. The Almighty Tallest had climbed a very large, reddish, bulbous-looking...thing. It looked halfway between a tree and a rock, and they were using it to hide from the bird. For whatever reason.

"DON'T YOU DARE COME ANY CLOSER!" Shouted Tallest Purple, grasping the "sack" of food tightly.

"WE'LL JUMP! WE-ER, I SWEAR!" Shouted Tallest Red.

"HEY!" Shouted Tallest Purple again, for some reason offended by this.

"I thought you said you didn't want me to swear in your name unless you agreed to it," Tallest Red's words were mostly drowned out by the shrieking of the bird "whooshing" over again.

"I only thought that-" Started Tallest Purple, but then the bird came swooping towards them, large beak open for breakfast. Well, actually, dinner, but let's not dwell on semantics, eh?

The two Tallest then screamed, and then did the most silly act of selfless bravery; silly, because they could float, and selfless, because the bird hit its wing as it flew by. They jumped down from the rock-tree, "landing" in a floating "pwouf"-sound, since they almost hit the ground and their anti-gravity generators had to work over-time just to stop their descent. And finally, bravery, since they were both obviously scared witless by the time they jumped.

They didn't act like it, of course, when they stood up again, but that wasn't like them to do much of, anyways. Modesty wasn't in their job-description. Ordering people around was! The bird didn't come back for a few minutes since it hurt its wing on the rock-tree, and they were equally resting from all the predicaments as well.

"You! Adviser!" Shouted Tallest Red, who first regained his breath, "Take this food and keep it safe." Nodding, Tallest Purple handed the large "sack"' made up of Agent Nessie's coat to Sploods as he took it from him.

"*Hauh* That, *Haugh!* was NUTS!" Stated Tallest Purple, getting his breath back. "I haven't moved that much since Elite Training!"

"Psh, I know, tell me about it!" Replied Tallest Red, "We need to get going. I think that bird may be back for us if we stay here."

"'Get going' _where_?!" Exclaimed Clasps. "What the heck's been going on?! Where are the others!?"

"Oh, right!" Said Sploods, slapping his forehead.

"Sorry, forgot you weren't there," added Agent Nessie.

"We recieved a message from Tak, saying that they'd found some rocks we could take shelter in," replied Tallest Purple.

"Yeah, but then that BIRD-THING started chasing us," added Tallest Red.

"And we had to skizs it all the way here!" Added Sploods, who was now sitting down, still holding onto the food-bag.

"Well, at least we've got food," replied Lard-nar. He was too tired to add what he was thinking, 'If certain people haven't _eaten it all_, first.'

"We should get going, though. Or at least hide ourselves from that bird!" Commented Crystal as she eyed the sky warily.

"Don't we have to wait for Tak?" Asked Sploods, remembering their agreement. "She was gonna' show us the way."

"That bird won't be away for long; it's got to be pretty angry," said Clasps, remarkably paying attention to this horrifying conversation.

"We don't have enough time, so maybe we can meet her on the way there," replied Crystal.

"Well _I_ think we should _wait_ for Tak!" Replied Sploods, now rested enough to feel annoyed.

"What!? That's the stupidest idea-" Lard-nar joined the conversation, and it instantly devolved into an argument.

"WHAT'D YOU CALL ME!?" Shouted Sploods as everyone bickered.

"I'm ordering you all to SHUT-UP!" Shouted Tallest Purple, who was not listened to.

"Well, YOU'RE a BIG POO-DOO HEAD!" Shouted Lard-nar as the group argument continued.

"Wait, shouldn't we be taking shelter, or.. something?" Asked Agent Nessie, who was just barely audible over the bickering.

"Look, _I'M_ the TALLEST, and _I_ say that we should-" Tallest Red's voice rose above the din for a second before drowning again in the sea of disagreement.

"Oh, wow-" came Clasps' voice as a new person walked in. Tak was just standing there, staring at the debaucle with Shloonktapooxis, surprisingly wearing the same expression on her face: that of shock and slight disappointment.

"Wow, it's just like a _REAL_ POLITICAL DEBATE!" Exclaimed Shloonktapooxis, which caused the others to stop arguing once they'd realized who it was.

"SHLOONK!" Yelled Lard-nar. "_THERE_ you are!"

"See?!" Said Sploods, "Didn't I tell you they were close by now!?"

"What?! No, you didn't!" Yelled Lard-nar, "You didn't tell us anything-"

Just as Sploods was yelling back about how he had but Lard-nar just hadn't been listening, Tak suddenly shouted, "BE QUIEEEEEEET!" There was silence. The entire group turned to look at her, and finally observed that she looked a lot less-than-fresh.

First of all, she looked tired -there was sap all over her, and she had some tears in the fabric of her clothes- there had been a battle of avoiding tentacled plant-type monsters, and she didn't like having to extract both herself, and Shloonktapooxis from them. The first time had been her, the second time him, and they both now knew that the only way to avoid them was to find out where they were hiding. But she didn't voice all this. Instead, she simply said, "Everyone, follow me; and move quickly -there's not much time before night!"

"You're kidding me!" Said Lard-nar. "We've just been running this entire time from some kind of bird-type thing!"

"Then we'd better hurry, before it returns," replied Tak evenly. Lard-nar still didn't seem convinced, and the Tallest decided to add to this.

"Do _you_ have a _better_ idea!?" Exclaimed Tallest Purple. He was actually hoping there was an alternative to all that activity.

Lard-nar didn't; he just didn't like having to agree with his enemies, and right now his tolerance was at a low ebb. "Let's just get going." He said in a low voice, trudging off in a singluar direction.

Seeing that the arguement was over, Shloonktapooxis said, "Alright! Then let's form a line, Ladies and Gentlemen and, uh, Others! Let's get this show on the road!" His little tail twitched to point the way and wiggled at the last line.

Tak turned away and started leading the group, now consisting of herself, Shloonktapooxis, the two Tallests, Sploods, Lard-nar, Agent Nessie, Crystal, Vrilly, Clasps, and Lasch-mik. On the way, Tak pointed out the dangerous, hulking plant-monsters which hid slightly underground to blend in so they could attack passersby. But what they didn't know was that avoiding them meant falling prey to even more painful dangers.

Hiking through the jungle was long and arduous; the going was bad enough when they had some kind of path, but now there was no discernable path and it kept getting thicker. Hiding behind some bright green ferns with smooth leaves from the flying bird-thing, they breathed a sigh of relief as the bird passed over. But some other surprisingly similar bird-like sounds were sounding from deep in the jungle all around them.

"Okay, this is _just great_!" Exclaimed Lard-nar sarcastically. "Just what in the heck are we doing!?"

"What are you talking about!?" Yelled an annoyed Sploods.

"We _really_ should be slashing our way out of here! Or something like that! What about using lasers to make a hole in this dense, thickness!" Replied Lard-nar.

"And _THEN_ we'll end up getting attacked by _who knows what's_ out there!" Exclaimed Vrilly.

"Yeah,_ great_, that sounds like a _great_ idea!" Mumbled Tak in the front. "Just keep _moving_, everybody!"

Despite everyone's annoyances and bickering, they were making good time, until Lard-nar complained about something biting him on the leg. "Yeowch! What _WAS_ that!?"

"What was what, honey?" Asked his mother with sincere concern.

"I think something just _bit_ me on the _leg_!" Replied Lard-nar, stopping to bend down and look at it.

"I'm sure it was just some little bug; come _on_, people, we have to keep going!" Groaned Sploods, completely ignoring his pain.

"Ouwch!" Lard-nar exclaimed as he looked at the now-green-lump growing on his leg. "_That_ doesn't look good..."

"Then it's a good thing I was in medical science," replied his mother, as she observed it. "It doesn't appear to be infected; but its color is most peculiar...!"

"That's one of the worst things I've heard you say," Lard-nar replied, referring to the fact that she only used the words, "most peculiar" when it was something serious.

"Oh, don't worry; it's just that I have no idea what this is! That's all," replied his mother, as if it was no big deal and that he shouldn't be worried. He, being her son, was doubly worried, now.

"Come _ON_!" Said Sploods once again in annoyance. Then, suddenly, they heard Clasps shout.

"Ow!"

"What's wrong?!" Asked the two who were closest to her, Vrilly and Crystal.

"I think I got bit by something," she replied, somewhat worried.

"Ah!" Yelled Sploods, "I got bit, too!"

"Man!" Shouted Vrilly, "These little bitey-things are EVERYWHERE!"

"I'm getting bit, and I'm not even sure how they're managing to _do_ it!" Exclaimed Crystal, whose crystalline structure was surely a deterrent to most insect bitey-things.

Pretty soon everyone was dancing around, getting bit; all except for Tak and Shloonktapooxis, who looked on with surprise. "Huh! Now that's new and interesting!" Said Shloonktapooxis, staring at the group behind them who were looking sufficiently menaced by the little biting things.

"I think that maybe we shouldn't have tried to skirt those other plant-monsters," replied Tak as she contemplated the current situation. It was odd that only she and Shloonktapooxis were unaffected, and the only difference she could see was that they'd been almost absorbed/eaten/torn apart by those plant-like creatures they'd encountered on their trek to find the group. The saliva/juices from those things was probably acting as a little-bitey-things-repellent.

But before she could say something to potentially help the rest of the group out of this painful predicament, some green goo-ish slipping monster dashed out of the dense thicket around them and swished past. Jumping back, both Tak and Shloonktapooxis stared in beweilderment as it happened. "What in the HECK!?"

There was a faint sense of danger coming from either side -turning back to the group, both Tak and Shloonktapooxis said, "EVERYBODY, RUUUUN!" before the strange creatures began their all-out attack.

Although they couldn't see them, the said creatures were about six feet tall and had a slick green outer skin; it was so slick, it almost looked slimy. They seemed to have little eyes of varying colors, number, and placements on the front of their heads, but they didn't seem very good at using them. Their mouths were wide and large, about like a "Yup Yup" muppet's mouth. Or a frog, whichever one you can picture more easily. They seemed about as intelligent as a large animal, but their hunting style could best be described as like a wolf-pack.

They charged after the group and continued chasing them, trying to wear them down until they could pick them off, one by one. Grabbing out with its six arms, one almost got Agent Nessie and Lard-nar, who'd stayed behind to make sure the rest of the group made it. (That was greatly appreciated by Agent Nessie, who by this time was very worn out; he wasn't used to this kind of activity, he was a pharmacist in Scotland, dang-it!)

As they ran faster, someone managed to pull out a gun of some kind and blast one of the green creatures. It barely singed it, but unlike a relentless wolf-pack, these creatures high-tailed it out of there. Huh. There was an audible, low-toned howl coming out of the jungle around them, and a couple of members of the group briefly wondered how the others were doing.

* * *

Back with the others...

As for the other half of the group, the Shelter Group, they'd found a whole new kettle of fish to fry in... Wait a minute, that doesn't make sense...!

The group's relaxation, previously broken by the large bird-thing, was now converted into terrified hiding -which was once again broken by the forces of nature. Those "forces" in question being a very large "Soil Monster", that seemed to think that they were "annoying squatters" who wouldn't pay rent!...

It didn't help that some of them were hiding underneath the Soil Monster's prized Space Azaelias...

The small group of Dib, Vick, Throbulator, Ploopoh, Tarky, and Starky, ran off after the Soil Monster roared, sending little bits of sharp rocks hurtling towards them. Thankfully, they managed to avoid most of them, with the exception of Dib -who took the most damage. To his head. In his defense, the Soil Monster seemed the most perterbed at him, because he kept asking it questions.

In Dib's defense, it really wasn't the first time a dirt-dwelling thingy was hurtling rocks at him: just the first time he'd run into one that could talk. His head also made quite the blockade for the others. It was almost as if things were drawn towards it or something...!

After running -once again!- for a heart-pounding few minutes, they ran into a fire-spurter. No, literally, there were these things, just underneath a cliff, that were spurting fire, or some kind of lava, straight up into the air! "WHAT'S WITH THIS PLAAA~AACCCEEE!?" Exclaimed Throbulator, as they skirted this and wound up hiding in some caves on the side of a cliff.

"Geeze!" Said Vick as they stopped to rest, "I almost wound up french-fried, there!"

"Yeah," grinned Starky, "And Dib wound up crisp-cut!" He pointed to Dib's hair, which was still smoking from where the fire-spurter's sparks had singed him. He frowned at this and rubbed his head in the dirt, hoping to put it out.

"Ulgh!" Said Vick, in a sudden epiphany, "I just realized, that taking a bath on _this_ planet is REALLY going to suck!"

The other aliens just blinked, hoping she'd explain herself. They hated making assumptions about other species; waaaayyy too many wars started out like that. So if a "bath" wasn't what they thought it was, then...that'd be awkward. Terribly.

"Woah! Yeah, I never thought of that!" Exclaimed Dib, "I mean, even if we can find a body of water large enough, how are we gonna' get soap?!"

The mention of "soap" made everything clear to the others, who nodded their heads in agreement. "Oooh! Yeah, that's gonna' suck!" Agreed Tarky.

"Throbulator! Thinks it's a good idea to start looking for things to use to clean ourselves with," commented said Throbulator, as he looked around at the shining rocks and crystals which were lining the walls of their little cave. Just like most caves with an outside access large enough to accomodate a body, this one was quite shallow. He hoped they could possibly find some kind of "Jeulicious Rock Crystals", like the kind from planet Juicilious, which people frequently used to scrub themselves with. It wasn't likely, but, hey! It was worth a try~!

"Good idea," said Dib, as he put a hand to his chin and thought about what they could use to do that.

"Phhphhh...! Yeah, let's keep a look out," agreed Starky, who was growing visibly more tired by the second.

Vick eyed him, but instead decided to look around the cave. She didn't care enough to actually bother with his exhaustion. Quite frankly, they were _all_ tired, and she didn't like the idea of staying here on this planet longer than a week and a half. Though the possibility of it was quite large, at this rate.

Ploopoh was also of this similar frame of mind when he stated, "I bet there's _lots_ of things we're going to miss," then, looking out the cave, he said, "That blob-woman thing will be particularly annoyed at that..."

The others looked up, but didn't say anything, besides Dib, who didn't know when a subject was best not to be questioned. "What? Why?!"

Throbulator took the opportunity to smack him upside the head, although he usually wouldn't.

"What?!" Asked Dib, rubbing the back of his head. It didn't hurt as much physically as it did emotionally. "All I said was-!" It was then that Starky took the chance to shove a rock into his mouth, and the others giggled at this. Vick came walking back from the small tunnel to their left, and smirked when she saw this.

"What's the matter, Dib, rock got your tongue?" Smirked Vick as she squeezed back into the crowded cave. Dib just glared at this.

"'What's it like back there?" Asked Throbulator, glad to have a change of conversation from the awkward.

Vick shook her head, "It gets even smaller as it goes on -you'd have to be either a contortionist or a _squid_ to get through there!" The others nodded and sighed.

A rumbling occurred just then, and they all tensed up and looked around. Soon, the rocks around them started glowing, and the one inside Dib's mouth squirbled until it rose to a high-pitched "squeak!" at which point he pulled it out of his mouth in shock and amazement. But that soon turned to horror as they realized that the cave around them was changing.

Not wasting a moment to find out whether or not it was dangerous, they rushed out just in time to witness the cliffside becoming the shape of a fist, shaking angrily at them. The little rock which had been inside Dib's mouth was squirbling in a somewhat sobbing sound, and they witnessed the cave-face morph closed until their previous hiding-place was soon transformed into a sheer, unscalable cliff-face once again. They all decided that leaving was the best option.

* * *

The combined Food Group and Stay-there-and-make-a-fire Group were also having quite the time, hiking in the jungle as they made their way unknowingly to their campsite where the Soil Monster lived.

The first one to notice that something was wrong was Agent Nessie, although he wasn't in the front of the group. "Hey, guys...? Aren't there supposed to be..." he didn't finish his sentence as someone turned to look him right in the face.

"What?!" Said Clasps in a deep, gruff voice that he'd never heard before. And it was, frankly, quite frightening. But besides that...

"I'm -actually, there's no one there...I mean, I can see the bulbous, horrendously-ugly rocks that they were talking about, but no one's there!..." his ability to get over the shock of Clasps' deep-throated voice was quite impressive. Even moreso when she began howling!

"I'm sure there's a r_eally_ good explanation for it~! No need to howl in depression~!" Lasch-mik comforted her gently, along with Vrilly.

"You're RIGHT!" Exclaimed Lard-nar as he looked around.

They had now reached the camp-site, and everyone who was supposed to be there, was not. Tak just growled and looked around mentally.

"Maybe they went off to get something...?" Said Clasps in a slightly higher voice, more like her normal one.

Just as she'd said this, Tak had recieved "DANGER!" warnings from Dib, and the ground shook as the Soil Monster rose up.

"Just WHAT in the HECK is _WITH_ EVERYBODY TODAY?! Bothering an OLD MAN when he's SLEEPING?!"

The small little group decided that it'd be much better to run -off in a direction not that different than the one the Shelter Group had taken.

* * *

Back with the Shelter Group...

They had taken an altogether different route from the one they had earlier. Thus, they were quite surprised when they found themselves heading back in the direction of the cliff with the fire-spurts, but on the other side across the canyon. It was a narrow trail, right up against a mountain, the same one with the cave they'd tried hiding in earlier. Considering that it was in the complete OPPOSITE direction...this was confusing and weird!

"Hey!" Exclaimed Vick, "Weren't we just here...?"

"I'm getting a strange feeling of having been here before..." commented Ploopoh.

"I think we just went in circles!" Exclaimed Starky.

"You and me, _both_!" Replied Tarky.

"Okay, okay! Let's just get our bearings," replied Dib, for once taking charge of something. He'd been in these kinds of situations before -times when certain paranormal phenomenon would change the surrounding lanscape, or trap you in a vision of a maze of some sort, to keep you trapped or confused. He also knew that the mountain they were standing beside could morph to change shape. "We already _know_ what way we were going -I mean, the sun's in the same place!" He pointed to said solar orb hovering just above the tree-tops as it was setting.

"But what does that have to do with anything!?" Panicked Tarky. He wouldn't say it, but he _really_ didn't like being led around in circles with no way out, and he was also so tired he couldn't stand himself.

"What I MEAN, is that the MOUNTAIN can MOVE!" Exclaimed Dib, less-than patient, and also tired.

"But, that means that it's been changing! Forcing us to walk this way!" Exclaimed Throbulator, though more modulated in tones than when he was just shouting his own name. _(A/N: Am I the only one who's imagining Throbulator singing Aerosmith's "Walk This Way", now?)_

"Right! Then that means that it must WANT us to go this way!" Added Vick, holding a finger up victoriously.

"Exactly!" Said Dib, "This direction only leads along the edge; and those flame-spurts down the edge of the cliff are obviously dangerous...so...I guess that means it wants to get rid of us...?" He put a hand to his chin as he thought, not considering how panicked he was making the others.

"But I think I see something up ahead like a little ledge; maybe we could use that thing to get across this canyon?" Asked Ploopoh, before Tarky could freak out over what Dib said.

"What?!" Asked both Dib and Vick as they spun around to look where he was pointing. Sure enough, there was a ledge poking out, just close enough for even the short-legged ones of their group to make a good leap across it.

"Well," stated Throbulator, "At least it's not vindictive." He said this about the Mountain creature-thing which was apparently messing with them. There was a bit of silence, then Starky spoke up before anyone else could.

"I say we go that way."

Taking a look around the group, they gradually sighed and agreed to give it a chance.

It was only a short walk before they reached the ledge, although it had seemed much longer to begin with. They reached it and looked down before venturing to cross it. They also had to play "Rock, Paper, Scissors," to decide who went first. That didn't go too well... Finally, Ploopoh decided to step up, since he had hooves and could probably jump a lot farther than the others could.

It was all going well -most of the group had made it across the small, little two-foot gap- until there came the weirdest sounds.

Something like the rush of wind and shrieks, then followed by blue blobs, about the size of a dodge-ball, and the raining down of said blue blobs... It was strangely horrifying...but they didn't bother with the semantics, as absolutely EVERYTHING on this planet seemed either ready or willing to kill them...and they didn't take any chances. They raced off in one singular direction.

They took no notice where they were going until...

*WHAM!*

They hit and became entangled in another group, running from what could be considered a rather similar and familiar predicament.

They tossed and rolled around, until finally righting themselves to find both the Soil Monster and the blue blobs surrounding them.

"YOU guys!" Exclaimed Ploopoh.

"Oh, good..." mumbled Agent Nessie.

"You're here!" Exclaimed Tallest Red, before the combined growling of both the Soil Monster and the Blue Blobs caused them all to cohesively think, 'Oh, _great_~!'

"Uhm, guys..." said Vick, nervously. "I think we should run...!"

Nobody had time to say anything else, snide or not, when the Soil Monster and Blue Blobs charged. Everyone dove out of the way, hoping the two sides would keep each other occupied whilest they split up. Eventually everyone found each other again as they started running around in circles: first from those mysterious green, slick creatures which attacked them from the jungle as they were running.

Second, they almost went over the edge of the cliff as they ran from them, just narrowly avoiding the fall. They didn't even realize what happened to the Soil Monster, because they were too busy putting as much space between themselves and their attackers as they could.

The next incident was completely unpredictable.

The Slick Green Creatures ran head-first into the Soil Monster's mouth, for some strange reason. Then the Blue Blobs followed them...but they didn't go into the Soil Monster's mouth. Instead, the Soil Monster seemed angered and enraged by them, and an epic, un-seen battle ensued! Which none of the group of aliens noticed. It involved some sort-of fire-power being utilized on the part of the Soil Monster by shooting the half-eaten parts of the Slick, Green Creatures at the Blue Blobs.

The eventual quieting down occurred once the Soil Monster was led into the firey-spurts and half-burnt. After that, he went around in circles until he collapsed; then expelled a gas that smelt slightly like fresh oxygen and burnt sunflowers. The group of aliens stopped running for their lives long enough to see the Soil Monster collapse and then... The Blue Blobs came and ate everything inside except for the bones, which formed a perfect over-hanging shelter.

Everyone just stared and blinked at it. The remaining few of the Slick Green Creatures moaned at their fellows' loss, but then retired.

After that, it started raining.

Which wouldn't have been so bad for at least a couple of the species in their group; with the exception that...

Apparently, on this planet, the rain made EVERYONE burn!

Jumping up and down, the unanimous thought finally occurred to them to run and hide underneath the inexplicable shelter.

"SHEEESH!" Exclaimed Vick, shaking off some of the painful water-droplets. They felt painful and tingly...for some strange reason, they also reminded her of some make-up she used to own...

Agent Nessie sat down and sighed. "Acidic WATER! What else can go-" once he saw that everyone was staring at him, horrified, he said, "...right?" The others sighed and collapsed.

Dib and Tak had sufficiently forgotten about their previous "fight", whatever it was, and Dib was mentally pestering Tak for scanner readings. "AAARRRGE!" Exclaimed Tak in aggravation, for all the reasons we can think of. "The stuff falling from the sky must be-"

"It smells like Hydrogen Peroxide," interrupted Vrilly; though no one seemed to care at this point. Though a few -the humans, primarily- did wonder about how she could smell without a nose. She had a nose, but it was a fake, strap-on one. Not really useful at all for olfactory sense.

"Yes." Finished Tak, putting away the scanner. "It's at about 28 percent; it looks like we won't be going out in it any time soon."

The others blinked, stared, and gulped -or whatever their species did when nervous- respectively.

"That does explain those pure puddles of water," Agent Nessie spoke up.

"What?" Asked Vick, "Why is that again? It reminded me of that, too...but I don't know why."

"It's just unstable -Hydrogen Peroxide is usually unstable- and it'll typically lose its extra oxygen molecule, becoming pure water." Replied Dib succinctly. He was too tired to go rambling on; plus, the explanation really didn't call for that.

"Oh, right! That was what!" Replied Vick.

"Didn't Professor Membrane do a show on that? 'Hydrogen Peroxide -The Killer of Chemists!'" Said Agent Nessie thoughtfully.

Dib smirked at this -it did sound awfully familiar- "Yeah, I guess. It was a while ago, though...the whole chemistry set was in the early seasons..." he put a hand to his chin thoughtfully. It'd been a while since he'd thought about this.

"Not that this whole conversation is without its merits..." began Lard-nar, "But, what are we going to do, now?"

"AAARRRGGGEEE!" Exclaimed the Almighty Tallest. Both were flopped over in different positions -Purple leaning forward onto his knees, and Red flopped back on the rocks they were sitting on. "WHO CARES!?" Exclaimed Tallest Red.

"Yeah!" Echoed Tallest Purple weakly.

"We're never getting OUT of here with all that- that- whatever! Falling out there!" Tallest Red announced, flailing an arm weakly.

"Yeah, and I'm too tired to run, now!" Replied Vrilly.

"I think my legs have had more than enough of a stretch," agreed Lasch-mik.

"I'm tired, my clothes are torn up, and all I really want are some snacks we don't have here!" Exclaimed Sploods irritably. "I'm en-TIRELY sick of this."

"I was just getting to enjoy my leg-stretch," bragged Lard-nar, although he was also extremely exhausted. Dib's next comment soon popped his little pride-bubble.

"Good! Then you can stand watch while we nap!" He found himself a reasonably smooth spot on the ground and curled up. He was far more than exhausted!

Tak wandered over to a somewhat secluded corner and thought about the current predicament -her own, rather. Her intense contemplation nagged at the back of Dib's mind, so he replied to it.

'Goodnight, Tak! Maybe tomorrow you can tell me why you're so ticked, huh?' Thought Dib as his eyes closed.

'We can talk right now. Just as long as your reactions to what I'm going to say are calm.' Replied Tak. She wasn't so worried and irritated with him anymore -and even willing to talk. That sort of thing came with exhaustion.

'Mmm. Okay. I guess.' Dib's eyes were fluttering, trying to stay open.

'Do you remember what happened after I left?' Asked Tak carefully, leading him in.

'No. What happened?' Thought Dib, half-asleep by now. He couldn't remember anything about after she left... And his mind was fogging up with the mist of sleep.

'Nevermind, you're already half-asleep,' replied Tak with an almost disappointed sigh.

Their short little conversation took only a few seconds. Meanwhile, the rest of the group was getting comfotable. Throbulator had already found his little rock to lay a portion of his large, brainy-head on. While he did this, Lasch-mik and Vrilly took it upon themselves to make a fire with the small bits of stuff they could find lying around. The others instantly assembled around it, and Clasps contemplated melting into small little puddles for her resting...but decided it would be too weird while most of the others were awake.

The group barely talked until gradually conversation died completely and the sun disappeared behind the jungle-covered horizon.

The first day was over. Now came the first night.

* * *

END CHAPTER 1

* * *

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp

AUTHOR'S NOTES: There'll be a lot more happening in the next chapters to come, really! And, they probably won't be quite as long as they were in "PSYCH-OUT!", so you won't be bogged down with all that reading.

The only down-side of this is that I haven't exactly gotten all the chapters written up yet, and so you'll have to wait a little bit longer in between updates. (I've been updating so regularly nowadays, that it'll seem like a drag to have to do that again, won't it? *Laughs* Anyways, I'll try my best to update as regularly as possible, since I already have the main gist down of how this story goes~!

CHARACTERS:

The characters...I don't know, really! Only eleven of them are actually canon, and...well, really, I don't know where my head was when it came up with the rest! Really! Seriously, we only see Agent Tuna Ghost and Agent Nessie in shadows, although we hear their voices. I made up pictures of what they would look like, sos you can peek at my Deviant Art page for those.

Then there's Sploods, who, honestly, only has a walk-on role in "Battle of the Planets", and there he's just whispering to Tallest Red, "His name is Invader Skoodge." He's just credited as "Advisor", sos I gave him a name! I love that name...! *Giggles*

Also, SHLOONKTAPOOXIS ROOOCKS! *Laughs* That is all...!

Then there's Crystal and Throbulator, from "Hobo 13" (my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE episode EVER!) and they didn't really have much to do, either...! *Sighs* In any case, I'm trying to keep to their original personalities, but, uh...IT'S KIND-OF HARD WHEN THEY HAVE ALMOST NO PARTS! *Sighs* ANYWAYS...!

And... Don't even ASK me where in the HECK Lard-nar's MOM came from! *Laughs* Because, I'm pretty sure, that even if it is my own mind...I DON'T WANT TO KNOW! ...Yeah. But, it gives me a good chance to play around with the Vortians, you know, adding to the very VAGUE concepts that we already have about their race! *Laughs evilly* I SHALL MOLD THEM TO MY LIKING! Er-! *Looks around* Nevermind~!... *Whistles nonchalantly.*

I'll write more about the made-up characters in the next chapter's notes!

And, THE GOONIES REFERENCES WILL NEVER EEENNNDDD! *Laughs evilly* MWA HA HA HA HAAAAAAA! (Okay, no, seriously! I just love making those little "Goonies" references~!)


	2. Blah Blah Blah

Disclaimer: I still don't own it, although what I would do with it if I did...! *Evil laughter* ...Anyways, they still won't get the stink out of their overalls!...

AUTHOR'S NOTES: The next chapters will actually be rather short, compared to "PSYCH-OUT!"'s chapters~! *Laughs* Well, these will be rather random and still, mostly, well, maybe with that whole, "whatever in the heck we called it romance" undertone that I've officially established with the previous stories...!

This chapter is still pretty long, though... I really couldn't tell where this chapter would end and where it would begin, so where it ends is where I finally decided that it was time for the end of it! Anyhow, the main point is...that...conversations are fun and the interactions between the characters have helped me to get to know them, and I hope they'll help you, too!

Believe me, if _anything_ was needed, it was to get to know who in the heck all these alien people are!

In any case, EXPECT MORE FUN AND HORRIFYING MADE-UP ALIEN STUFFS! Yaaayyyy!

* * *

**CHAPTER 2: "What Have I Told You About -Oh! Well, Okay, Honey, You Can Eat Them."**

* * *

It was about the middle of the night when Dib awoke. "Mmm...!" He rubbed his eyes underneath those "Stay-on Glasses" that his dad had made for him. Apparently his father had had the exact same problem with keeping his glasses on -and unbroken- when he was a kid. "What time is it...?" Dib asked when he noticed that it was still night-time.

After several responses pertaining to differing measurements of time, Agent Nessie finally responded, "It's about 4 O'clock. Whatever THAT means. You've probably been asleep for about seven hours."

"Oh. Okay..." Replied Dib succinctly, looking around. Since to him it was morning, he wanted something to eat. "Is there any of that food left?"

"Yeah, I think there might be some. We're gonna' have to go hunting for more in the morning." Replied Vick. She and Vrilly had taken to hanging out together and exchanging horrible dating stories; so the group was glad when the tide of entertainment changed. Not that they had any energy or motivation to change it themselves.

Dib rifled through the heavily-guarded sack beside the group consisting of three Irkens, Lard-nar, and Shloonktapooxis. Apparently, nobody trusted the other with it. This made for a rather hilarious scene of five people consistently glaring at and ignoring each other, with random insults traded when they thought the other wasn't looking... But Dib was too hungry to care about it.

The "safe for humans" stuff was apparently in the left armpit of Agent Nessie's coat. There could be a comment made about that...but, again, he didn't care.

'Put on too much weight, and I'm _not_ carrying you out of here,' thought Tak to him just as he was prepared to bite into a particularly delicious-looking piece of fruit. Dib glared and took a short glance around, but couldn't spot her. 'I'm over on the other side of the fire -keeping a lookout.' Replied Tak to his curious mind.

'Well, I've been _running_ all day, plus I've slept, so I don't think I'm putting on weight any time soon,' he thought, still confused as to why she was in such a mood. He took a giant bite and instantly wished he'd peeled it, first... It tasted nasty! He pulled it out of his mouth and ate the insides off the peel. 'Okay, taste-test reveals that this stuff needs to be peeled, first! Nuyuchi!'

'What's "nuyuchi"?' Asked Tak in confusion.

'Nothing, just wondering what that sound I just made would look like spelled out... Apparently, it looks like, "nuyuchi"!' Replied Dib as he picked apart the peel and carefully avoided the seeds inside. Seeds could be dangerous, sometimes...

'If I wanted cheap humor and disgusting eating-habits, I'd have stayed with the others,' thought Tak with an annoyed sting. He glared at that, but said nothing. She'd been bizarrely ticked at him, and he probably didn't even want to know what had upset her so.

"Hey! If you're gonna' pick it apart and be all gross and stuff, do it elsewhere!" Exclaimed Tallest Red. Tallest Purple was showing a highly-annoyed grimace, perturbed at having to watch yet another alien with unusual eating-habits.

Dib glared at them, then remembered Tak was able to hear his thoughts and responses; so he grabbed some of the fruit and moved away, back towards the fire. He plopped down next to Agent Nessie and Throbulator, glad to have some half-way decent company.

"Hey...that reminds me, why do you guys take that peel off of those large, light-green ploppole fruit?" Asked Throbulator in a curiously low tone. He obviously was more subdued, since it was night-time. (The term "ploppole" had been coined, because it took Tallest Red forcing Tallest Purple to float up to the top of the pole-like tree it grew on to shake it before it "plopped" down on him!)

"Huh?" Asked Agent Nessie, shocked, and thinking he was talking to him, because he'd been staring off into the fire in thought.

"Huh?" Echoed Dib; but at least he had an answer for him, "Duh! Because it tastes AWFUL!"

"Oh," Throbulator's reply was calm, relieved of his heavy curiosity.

"Say," asked Vrilly, "Vick and I were wondering...do _all_ of your brainy-headed species have no skulls?! Or is it just you?"

Throbulator glared that sort of pout when one has heard a particular stereotypical comment all-too-often. "_Actually_, unlike other species, we don't even need skulls, as you have them: our outer-membrane which surrounds the brain is tough, yet pliable, somewhat like cartilage. We call it, 'Phlibble-skorpfhshchs'! But, most people can't pronounce that. So they just say 'phlibble', _not_ to be confused with the popular fruit-beverage!"

"Oooh~hh!" Exclaimed Vrilly.

"Well! I guess it CAN work that way!" Replied Vick, referring to her earlier conversation of theories with Vrilly.

"There's a popular fruit-beverage named 'phlibble'?' Asked Dib, now interested.

"Well, it's spelled with an 'f', not a 'phlibble'," replied Throbulator, with a bit of a smirk at that old joke.

Dib gave him a confused look, but it was Nessie that spoke, "What?"

"It's an old joke. It was a commercial;" was all the explanation Throbulator had to give them.

"Oh," came the unanimous response of Agent Nessie, Vick, and Vrilly.

"Hey, Vrilly," said Vick, "How come your species doesn't come to Earth when you're so close?" After learning that Vrilly's scarily human-like species lived just in adjacent arm of the Milky-way Galaxy, and that they were capable of deep-space travel, it was a question that had irked her. _(A/N: I LOVE making that pun~!)_

"Oh, we _have_ come to Earth!" Exclaimed Vrilly somewhat mischievously, "In faaa~ct, there was a very popular story which was inspired by one of us...well, at least, one character in it was!"

"Really?!" Now both Agent Nessie and Vick were paying full attention. Dib, on the other hand, was patiently waiting for her to continue as he wolfed down the rest of his food.

"Haven't you ever heard of, 'Alice in Wonderland'?" Asked Vrilly with that same somewhat mischievous smirk. "I'm pretty sure 'Alice in Wonderland' was a popular book."

"WHAT?!" Exclaimed both Nessie and Vick, and Dib was now leaning over, his face bulging from the food, cheeks looking chipmunk-like.

"Mm-hmm! The character of the 'Mad Hatter' was based on someone who...er, let's just say that he, uh...didn't do a very good job of reviewing Earth culture before he visited!" Then Vrilly laughed, "I was actually attending a Stories Convention when I was unexpectedly abducted! So, eh, I guess I'll have to put my cosplay to the ultimate test, huh? Hah hah hah!"

"Wait, 'cosplay'?! You were at a COMICS CONVENTION?!" Exclaimed Nessie.

"HEY! Does this mean that Lewis Carroll's stories were inspired by ALIENS?!" Exclaimed Vick, completely ignoring Nessie.

"NO! _Of course not_! Just the Mad Hatter!" Explained Vrilly in some annoyance. "And," she added after a moment of giving Agent Nessie's comment some thought, "It wasn't a 'comics convention' because it wasn't so genre-specific. We don't get so genre-specific with our entertainment on Haut. That's why it was just a 'STORIES Convention'!" Agent Nessie looked deflated after his fun conspiracy-theory had been popped.

"Oh." He said and pouted.

"So, wait, wasn't your species the 'Huffer-haut'?" Asked Vick curiously.

"Yes, but it means, literally, 'The people of Haut', and our planet's _name_ is Haut." Replied Vrilly with some annoyance. She knew very well that they had no way of knowing this, but...well, it still got irritating!

"The Huffer-haut species are some of the oldest-known sentient species in the galaxy," said Ploopoh as he'd come over to sit by them. Though the others were either resting or standing watch, he looked like he'd just woken up and was willing to join in the fun. "And by 'sentient', we usually mean, 'space-faring'."

"Yeah," replied Vrilly, eager to set any record straight about them, "And, although we'd absolutely _LOVE_ to come over and greet everybody, since there were, ehhhnuh! some wars, and stuff, we kind-of had to make these totally strict _rules_ about who and who not to approach on other planets...such as yours." She didn't feel like elaborating on anything, because, quite frankly, it was embarrassing!

"Yeah, those wars were really _stupid_, weren't they?!" Exclaimed Ploopoh rudely. "I mean, WHOOH! You just NEVER KNOW who's going to come back and bite you in the FRIENDLY-PANTS after you meet with them!" Ploopoh's lack of tact apparently knew no bounds.

"Mmm~iiigh!" Moaned Vrilly, "My species doesn't LIKE any kind of interplanetary violence; not after that _last_ 'fight to the finish'! And so, it's only natural that we'd be...eh, a little more _friendly_ than _others_ are!"

"What last 'fight to the finish'?!" Asked Dib in excited confusion.

"Well...it's not really clear on who started it, but...all we know, is that there was this giant, INTERGALACTIC WAR, just because someone defaulted on some agreement! The entire thing ended up echoed into the ENTIRE galaxy, and BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, some _stupids_ have taken sides and decided that, 'HEY! We've got to make sure that NO ONE ELSE defauts on any of OUR AGREEMENTS, and PUNISH ALL THOSE THAT DO OR HAVE DONE SO!'" Vrilly took a deep breath in order to continue.

"It was r_eally stupid_! ANYWAYS, when the whole thing was said and done, our people were so fed up with _war_, that we decided to teach ourselves how to be accepting and polite, basic common courtesy and decency! And so...yeah! Well, we _are_ pretty well-liked, at least as far as we know of, in the universe: that's ONE good thing that came of that fight!" She sighed and rolled her eyes, fully cognizent of how horrible that sounded. Of course, it _was_!

"HEY!" Exclaimed Ploopoh, "_I_ recognize that! It was that one intergalactic war that left a TON of planets practically lifeless!"

"Yeah!" Replied Vrilly again, "Of course, it was _so_ long ago, most species nowadays don't even _remember_ it!"

"Mm-hmm!" Nodded Ploopoh.

"Are you guys talking about the giant, intergalactic war that happened over a million years ago?" Asked Lard-nar, now interested as he came over to sit by them. (Keep in mind that their measurement of "years" is different than ours.)

"Yeah," replied Vrilly. This habit was annoying, so she decided to stop replying "yeah" to absolutely everything... For fear others found it annoying and thusly tried to stop it.

"What WAS that war?!" Asked Agent Nessie in annoyance. They were pretty left-out.

"Oh, you wouldn't know of it, since your species is so young," replied Vrilly simply.

"Yeah, _we_ don't even remember that time!" Replied Ploopoh, referring to his own people.

"Our people were also quite young; not really even capable of space-travel at that point!" Added Lard-nar with a shake of his head, "Of course, we'd _heard_ about it -it's pretty easy to hear things when you've got your ears tuned to the skies!"

"At what age was the Universe at that point?" Asked Vrilly, now completely ignoring the question from poor, confused, Agent Nessie.

"I think it would've been about...the Lulveu point..." replied Lard-nar thoughtfully. Sploods had come over to see what everybody was talking about, and was annoyed that there was nothing to correct him on.

"Oh, right!" Replied Vrilly just as thoughtfully.

"Wait, you guys calculated the age of the Universe? What kind of measurements did you use?" Asked Vick, glad to get in on the conversation, and feeling a little annoyed that the Earthlings had been left out of it. Even up to the point of helping out Agent Nessie's comment!

"Erm!" Said Vrilly, unsure of how to explain it.

"It's really more in the way of epochs, mostly," mumbled Lard-nar.

"Yeah, it's epochs," agreed Ploopoh.

"Then, WHAT are all the epochs?!" Asked Nessie, still annoyed.

"Hhhrrmm...do you...want all 900,000 of them? Or just the ones we're talking about?" Asked Lard-nar as he rubbed his chin, his eyes skyward in thought.

"AT LEAST let us have some sort of estimate as to when that stinkin' WAR was!" Exclaimed Vick, exhausperated.

"Oh! Right, well... There were approximately four besides this one, so, uh..." Lard-nar trailed off, and Vrilly finished for him.

"He means that the giant, intergalactic war was in the Lulveu epoch, then came the Foosh, -that was a small one- and the Salivarsz, which is when most of the species here were capable of traveling to other planets. The Irken Empire rose to power in the Faushsy -another small epoch- and, finally, there's _you_," she turned to look at the Earthlings, "of the Earran epoch. The name of the current epoch is still under debate, though..." Vrilly trailed off, and Lard-nar took this opportunity to talk, since she'd stolen his explanation -not as if he'd do any better- in fact, he would've done awful. He wasn't a very good teacher...

_(Pronunciation: "Lulveu" is "Lulv"; "Salivarsz" is "Sal-i-varz"; "Faushsy" is "Fawsh-sy"; and "Earran" sounds like the names "Erin", or "Aaron".)_

"Though most people still think that we're in the Earran epoch, I believe, that with the current changes made with the Resisty's efforts," Sploods scoffed, but Lard-nar continued on, "We should call this, the 'Tide-oh' epoch!"

"Like the 'tides of change', huh?" Mumbled Agent Nessie, still deep in thought.

"Like the tides of what?" Asked most of the other aliens, with the exception of Vrilly, who'd heard this phrase before.

"HAH! As if _that's_ ever going to happen!" Replied Sploods with a haughty laugh. "What_ exactly_ have _you stupid Resisty_ guys done?!"

The Almighty Tallests had now joined the group, forcing Tak to guard the food-sack. "Yeah! THAT'S almost as stupid as _your name_!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple as he floated up. Tallest Red added his two cents in as well.

"_Whatever_ made you think to name it after that guy who did that _stupid_ break-out on Vort's prison?!"

"Well, he WAS one of the FIRST ones who had the GUTS to STAND UP TO THE STUPID NEW PRISON-SYSTEM!" Exclaimed Lard-nar, standing up now and shaking his fist at them. They just regarded him with cool eyes and countered.

"Yeah, but he DIED!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple.

"That _kind-of_ puts a damper on the whole, 'hero' ideal," agreed Tallest Red.

"Actually, wouldn't that just make him a _martyr_?" Asked Vick easily. She and Nessie felt woefully uninformed and left out, but she did know a thing or two about human history that made it pretty easy to join in the intellectual reparte`.

"YOU foolish meat-lings, STAY OUT OF IT!" Exclaimed Tallests Red and Purple, both amazingly in-sync. Making everyone who thought that they were identical twins think about it even more.

"NO!" Exclaimed Throbulator, who'd been strangely quiet, and was now back up to his usual loud tones, "We should hear what THEY have to say!"

"Yeah! They're new to the intergalactic stage, but I think they need a say!" Replied Lard-nar thoughtfully. Then he pointed at Agent Nessie and said, "YOU! What do you think about an alien race who goes around and_ invades_ other planets, converting them into whatever they wish, and basically ENSLAVING their native people!"

"Oh, COME ON!" Exclaimed Tallest Red, "You're not SLAVES, just, uh...not allowed to make many job-changes! But you DO get paid!"

"Well, I don't feel _too much_ like a slave," admitted Throbulator. "I even trained on Hobo 13 to raise my rank in the military."

"We're not enslaved; we were smart enough to put two and two together and make a deal with them!" Replied Ploopoh.

"SO did WE!" Exclaimed Lard-nar, then he turned to the Tallest, "But, APPARENTLY, with Operation Impending Doom II, that DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE!"

"Woooah woah woah!" Tallest Purple waved his hands in front of him, "It's _not_ as if we had it down in _writing_!"

"IT WAS ON INTERGALACTIC TELEVISION!" Exclaimed Lard-nar, almost pulling his head-thingies, "WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT!? A _SONG AND DANCE_ NUMBER!?"

"Ooh! That would've been NEAT!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple approvingly, clapping his hands.

"But, according to Irken Intergalactic Code, any agreement NOT in the form of writing _can't_ be upheld! So, I'm sorry, but," Tallest Red shrugged, "It's _your_ loss!"

"The CONTRACT was written AND SIGNED by absolutely EVERYONE!" Exclaimed Lard-nar, "You can't TELL US that you don't HAVE IT!"

"We CAN _SO_!" Replied Tallest Purple, "Because we never GOT it! But, because nobody cared- er! It didn't seem like such a big deal, we, uh-!"

"What he's TRYING TO SAY, is that there was an INCENDIARY incident with the mail and it sort-of...got...destroyed?" Replied Tallest Red, hoping to cover up for Purple's blunder.

"HOW could it have been INCINERATED?! IT WAS MADE OF FLOO-GLON!" Exclaimed Lard-nar, now clutching at his head-things that resembled movable horns.

"Erm...! There was this PROBLEM with the MAIL and all..." began Tallest Purple.

"It was SOMEHOW thrown into our Sun...sorry about that!" Tallest Red finished, waving his hand.

"And WE suspect it was the Permanensey group that did it!" Added Purple defensively, holding up his finger.

Lard-nar just sighed, knowing full-well that ANY politicians would gladly "misplace" a contract, just so that they didn't have to live up to it. In fact, the Vortians had done that exact same thing, when their alliance with the Irkens was new and not so strong... Sighing, he looked up at them and said, much to the humans' surprise, "So...I guess that makes us even...!"

"Pretty-much!" Said Ploopoh, who was now stuffing his face with some of the food-stuffs. The others glared at him, but said nothing.

"Oh, right!" Exclaimed Lard-nar, as if he was forgetting something, "I almost forgot! We wanted the Earthlings' opinion on this!"

"Well, it's not really that fair to ask 'em," stated Vrilly in an odd turn-around. She'd been observing the rather confused looks on their faces this entire time. "I mean, they hardly even know what's going _on_!"

"I do!" Exclaimed Dib, but he was ignored, as per usual.

"No, actually, we get the general idea," replied Agent Nessie, whose attention had been grabbed at this conversation, and was raptly awake.

"Yeah, we're no strangers to wars and political intrigues," added Vick.

"They're not _exactly_ 'peaceful'..." Vrilly added, just a little bit on the tactless side. But no one else minded.

"Yeah, it's like the no one can agree on anything!" Mumbled Vick, mostly to herself.

"So, then what DO you think?!" Asked Tallest Red, annoyed with this whole thing and wanting it to be over and done.

"Well..." started Vick, unsure of where to begin. "To be honest, this sounds like some kind of plot from a science-fiction movie!"

"Yeah!" Laughed Agent Nessie. "Oh- OH! _I_ know what they remind me of!"

"What?!" Asked Vick, eager to hear what he was thinking.

"What?!" Asked Dib, who was ignored.

"Remember the Brutish Empire?!" Nessie laughed again, "They used to think that 'the sun never sets on us!'"

"Oh! Of _course_! DUH!" Laughed Dib, slapping his forehead.

"OH, RIGHT! *Laughs* I can't believe I didn't THINK of that!" Laughed Vick as well.

"Yeah... Most people didn't take it too well, and eventually they had to quit... They're still a world-power, but since everybody frowns on_ slavery_ and _conquering_ these days, well...!" Agent Nessie shrugged sheepishly, hoping that the Irkens wouldn't be insulted enough to resort to violence. Or poking...!

"_Yeah_, too many bad experiences with it," agreed Vick, "Why, after all those BLACK ZOMBIES came after people, they just-!"

"Wait, wait, wait, so...your people don't LIKE slavery?!" Asked Lard-nar eagerly.

"Oh, COME ON! That's just one viewpoint on it! You said that they're still a world-power, which means that people must RESPECT them!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple.

"Yeah! What do your people think of them, huh?!" Asked Tallest Red, pointing at the two Earthlings.

"Huh!" Said Nessie, thinking, "I guess I've never really thought of it! I mean, everyone knows the stereotypes, but, uh...!"

"Erm!... That's for sure...!" Replied Vick, nervously, hoping she wouldn't have to say anything.

"What are the stereotypes?" Asked Lard-nar with a little smirk, knowing full-well how unflattering those are.

"Well, there's the 'overly-polite' stereotype, and the 'stiff upper-lip' stereotype, but, mainly, when people think back on the Brutish Empire, they were considered..." Agent Nessie trailed off in thought.

"Well-bred?" Asked Tallest Purple hopefully.

"Strong?!" Asked Tallest Red, also hopefully.

"Cruel and merciless?!" Asked Lard-nar as well.

"What?!" Exclaimed Vick with a laugh. "Nooo! _That's_ not what!"

"THEN WHAT IS IT!?" Exclaimed all four, the Tallest, Sploods, and Lard-nar, who'd been conversing.

"Pretentious, self-righteous PRICKS, _that's_ what!" Laughed Agent Nessie. He, Vick, and Dib laughed, almost rolling around. Leading them on to a classic punch-line was just too hilarious! _(A/N: Okay, so I picked on the British a little. I had to add some historical reference, you know...)_

The Almighty Tallest and their Advisor, Sploods, stood there, glaring at the annoying little human pests who they now decided to put on the same list as the Resisty -annoying, and possibly worth squishing if they sided with said other annoyances.

"Hah_hah_HAH!" Exclaimed Tak sarcastically, now right next to the group. "I hope you're happy with yourselves; you've just made some HORRIBLE enemies."

"What?!" Gasped Agent Nessie, still clutching his sides as he laughed. "What makes you guys think that we're actually going to PICK A SIDE?!"

"Yeah!" Vick laughed some more and then said, "I mean, it's NOT LIKE we can actually SPEAK for our ENTIRE RACE!"

"I'd pick the Resisty's side!" Laughed Dib, "In fact, I already _have_!"

Vick instantly straightened up and said, with completely straightened face, "PLEASE say you didn't just say what I thought you said."

"Erm!" Vrilly instantly started looking around, her instincts telling her that violence was due to erupt any minute now.

Everyone else was blinking, surprised by the sudden change of events. "Oooh-kay...!" Said Dib, and there was quiet for a while before Agent Nessie finally spoke up.

"Yes?"

"Well, you said to say that I didn't say what you thought I just said! ...Uh, I think that's right...yeah." Replied Dib, thinking. The Eenglish language got harder and harder every year!

"*Sigh* Alright! I guess you owe us an EXPLANATION!" Replied Vick with a hand on her head. "Which means EXPLAIN it to us! NOW!" She'd leaned in close to his head, closing the gap between them in a relatively short time.

"Uh...well, it all started when Zim was-" began Dib, before Agent Nessie moaned.

"Oooaaahhh! Not THIS agaaaiin!"

"Oh, well!" Exclaimed Tallest Red, "If it's ZIM, then that EXPLAINS it!"

Both Vick and Nessie looked up at him and said, "Wha-aah?!"

"Pshhh! Yeah! Zim's such a horrible menace, that we EXILED him to YOUR PLANET under the guise of a fake mission!" Replied Tallest Purple with a nod.

"But, of COURSE you must already know that!" Added Tallest Red.

"Uhhh..." was all Nessie could think and say.

Vick, however, was more...assertive. "WHAT!? YOU MEAN YOU WERE_ ACTUALLY TELLING THE TRUTH_ ABOUT THAT!?" She screamed, grabbing Dib by his collar and shouting straight in his face. Tak couldn't help but be highly amused at this sight, despite that they were talking about a major failure her own part.

Dib pushed her away with a shocking amount of force and finally said, "Well, of COURSE I WAS! I mean, SURE, I DIDN'T HAVE THE PROOF_ RIGHT_ THERE _WITH M_E, but it was just a SHORT CALL AWAY! I mean, WHAT!? DO I HAVE SOME SORT OF STINKIN' _SIGN_ ATTACHED TO THE BACK OF MY HEAD, THAT SAYS, 'DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, HE'S INSANE' OR SOMETHING!? I mean, I WORK and I WORK, TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO LISTEN, BUT DO THEY EVER CAAARRE!? _NO_!"

"Uhhh...I don't think that we should be talking about this in front of...you know...!" Said Agent Nessie, pointing lamely to the aliens who were paying attention as if it was the most interesting thing in this world. Which, it was. At this point.

But Dib just continued on in his ranting, until Vick finally said, "SHUT-UP!" This got his attention long enough for her to add, "And, uh...since you actually were telling the truth, you're off probation." This didn't make any sense to the aliens around them, but, hey! Nothing they were talking about did! "Do you guys MIND?" She asked as she looked up to see the other aliens staring at them raptly.

"Are you KIDDING?!" Exclaimed Tallest Red, munching on some of their snack-nuts.

"This is the most ENTERTAINMENT we've had ALL DAY!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple as he also munched on something that looked like a petal, but was thicker and apparently delicious enough to snack on.

"HEY!" Shouted Lard-nar, who was also guilty of being highly interested in their conversation, "Show some RESPECT! Maybe they don't WANT to be made a mockery of by PRETENTIOUS JERKS!"

"HEY!" Shouted Tallest Red, and the four, including Sploods, instantly dissolved into another shouting name-calling-fest.

Vick just stood up and shook her head, "This is _ridiculous_! It's crazy, I feel like I'm baby-sitting, 'cept I'm not getting _paid_!"

Agent Nessie and a couple of the other aliens just nodded their heads in understanding.

Time passed, with Dib prowling around the edge of their camp-site and only safe place they had, to explore.

Tallests Red and Purple were sitting around the fire, eating the last of their snacky-stuff in silence. They were annoyed that they'd been forced to stop bothering the aliens on the rather forced advice of the rest of the group: that it would start a fight. And right now, the last thing they needed was to be fighting each other!

The sounds of the other aliens eating stuff and conversing made their way over to Dib as he prowled. "What have I told you about -oh! Well, okay, honey, you can eat them." Came the voice of Lard-nar's mother as she prodded him about what to and what not to eat. While Dib thought about what in the world they could be talking about, he also thought about another annoying, alien woman...and about whether or not she could be of any help to his prowling expedition.

'Tak, did you get to check out any of the surroundings?' Thought Dib, momentarily forgetting how ticked she was at him. She made sure to remind him, of course, just like any woman would.

'NO. I've been too busy standing guard and trying to quell arguments between my own leaders and the other aliens!' She thought, the last part of that thought stinging into his brain a lot more than he thought it ought to.

'Ouch! Okay, I was just asking! ...Wait, you haven't been saying anything...how are you-' as he thought this, he got another mental sting, along with a mental description of how her psychic abilities could be used to influence peoples' emotions. 'That's enough! Okay...! _Sheesh_, with all of this, it's like you're trying to use your psychic abilities to influence _my_ emotions to feel _pain_!' His familiarity with girls' moods when they're angry was quite strong; he did have a little sister, after all!

'JUST stay away from me, alright?!' She thought, the anger in her mind rising. She really wished that she could quell it, but it wouldn't budge. Instead, she tried a different tactic: 'I- I think I need some time alone!'

'Okay... Well, I'm sorry if I've done anythi-' he got another sting in his mind that told him he shoudn't have said that. 'ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! *Sigh* Just...don't hesitate to call when you need help, okay?' Dib finished this feeling a little bit uneasy. He hadn't seen her in so long, why was she acting this way?

'Of course...I'll call...' Tak trailed off quietly, pulling back into her own thoughts. Thoughts that were apparently darker and much more dangerous than Dib had ever given them credit for. Though she wished that she could tell him and get his stupidly oblivious mind on the right track, it was absolutely painful to do this.

So Dib just found himself some new things to occupy his time, and suffered in ignorant silence.

Time passed, and just as they were thinking that they saw the first rays of morning light, they realized that it was only the clouds parting...

The view of the "night" sky, if anyone would call it that now, was breathtaking, beautiful, and...bright!

"*GASP!* IT'S SO BRIGHT!" Exclaimed Ploopoh, who apparently hadn't ever been in this area of the galaxy before.

The view up above was astoundingly bright, with dark, nebulous clouds obscuring masses of bright stars that would've otherwise turned everything brilliantly white. The center-piece was the brightest stars of them all, blooming like a glowing aurora and bursting forth with life. The very first one to guess which star this was was neither of the two warring factions, or any other alien life-form which thought themselves particularly bright. It was Vick and Agent Nessie.

"Is that...the center...of..." Began Vick.

"The center of the Galaxy?!" Finished Nessie.

"Sagittarius A*..." Vick barely breathed as they all stared in wonderment. They didn't know how they knew that it was the center of the _Milky Way_ galaxy, nor did they think that it might possibly be a trick of the atmosphere of this new and apparently hostile alien planet.

There were no other possible guesses as they stared in blatant wonderment at all that unfurled in front of them.

Their breathless staring eventually became pointing out familiar stars and constellations, further confirming the estimation by Vick and Nessie. "How'd you even know that?!" Asked Vrilly as she stared up, gaping. It was equally pretty, no matter who you were. Well, unless you didn't have eyes or something...

"Oh, uh...I spent a lot of time studying astronomy..." said Vick nervously, not willing to mention that she'd been in the Astronomy clubs at her school and an absolute geek times ten! She barely took her eyes off the incredible sight.

"Uh...I spent some time on it, too...the neighboring clusters of other galaxies was always a hobby of mine," mumbled Agent Nessie, still staring up at the stunning sight.

"OOOH! OOOH! That's-!" Dib was repeatedly naming off different stars, even the ones that didn't have any names yet. The other aliens were adding their own names to it, until it became the, "Who has the best name for that space-stuff?" game.

The other aliens who were either asleep or doing something which meant that they weren't around or cognizant at this time were roused gradually, staring in renewed shock and awe at the beauty. They gasped and chattered on in delight, and finally it seemed like everyone had something in common: they all still loved staring up at the night sky. Though, that didn't mean they didn't find ways to fight about it~!

"...No, no, no! The ARCTIPIDI-PLANET was conquered, not the PLANET ARCTIC! Your people conquered it, remember?!" Lard-nar was saying to the Tallest, trying to set some record about something they were looking at in that night sky straight.

"Oh, yeah~!" Replied Tallest Purple. "But, wait a minute! Why was that Arctipidi-planet colonized? I mean, yeah, we conquered it, but...uh..."

"I don't know, I think we kind-of forgot about it... Ah, well. If it was really that important, the Control Brains would've let us know." Replied Tallest Red, contemplating this. "In the meantime, what was it your people did with the PLARNETIES PLANET~?" He asked, leaning in to talk to Lard-nar, who was a few feet shorter than he was.

"Oh, come on!" Replied Lard-nar with half a grin, "We gave it back to them...eventually~!..." The others in the Resisty-side of the group just laughed. Apparently the Vortians weren't perfectly peaceful, either. When they wanted to be...!

"What's an 'Arctipidi'?" Asked Vrilly, finally voicing the question she'd had in mind for well over an hour. It was just that long that they'd been staring at the brilliant night-sky and conversing about stars and stuff.

"Uh...!" Even Lard-nar seemed at a loss this time. "I don't even know what that means, actually...!"

"Yeah... I forget. What was it again?" Asked Tallest Purple, turning to Tallest Red for help. "I know it had something to do with that dessert...!"

"No, no, that was AGES ago! The dessert came later." He responded easily. "But, uh...I don't think anyone knows! It doesn't even sound _Irken_...!" After Lard-nar insisted that he'd been right in assuming that, Tallest Red looked at him with a glare to tell him to shut-up before saying, "I think I remember hearing an odd rumor, though...but that was just a rumor. Something about it not really meaning anything at all -the Control Brains were just messing with people's heads and stuff!... Huh."

Lard-nar was now laughing, "Those old Control Brains were hysterical! So mean and vindictive~!"

"Hey, it wasn't _easy_ breeding a whole new race of Irkens to lead everybody! ...Especially not after that last war...!" Tallest Red replied, but trailed off as he thought about those old news reports. "Heh heh...that one guy's head looked so funny...!"

"What?! What are 'Control Brains' again?" Asked Vick, who'd been nodding off a bit and wanted to sleep, but the others were too busy bantering back and forth for her to do that. The ground was also hard and uncomfortable.

Ploopoh sighed as he decided that it was his turn to explain it again. After all, nobody wanted to hear Dib explain anything! "The Control Brains are literally Irkens which are grown to have only giant brains! They're the leaders -the Tallest are really just figure-heads."

"Eeewww~!" Replied Agent Nessie, whose eye was twitching. "Just figure-heads? Really?!"

"Hey! It takes a lot to be as popular and ...uh, cool! as us!" Replied Tallest Purple with a huff.

"That still reminds me of the Bruttish Empi-" Started Agent Nessie, before everyone started throwing rocks and stuff at him.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THAT!?" Exclaimed the rest of the group. Apparently there'd been enough discussion on that subject to warrant their offenence. Also, it was fun to just throw things at him.

"Gee, it's usually ME getting stuff thrown at my head!" Laughed Dib with unconcealed glee. It was fun to see someone else get punished for talking too much.

"Oh, don't worry; we're just waiting for daylight so we can see you more clearly." Replied Vick with an annoyed groan.

"Why? He's right there! His head's the size of a large PLANET!" Exclaimed Agent Nessie. "You can't miss it!"

"I know..." moaned Vick, "I'm just so sleepy~! I wanna' go to bed...and on a nice, soft mattress...!" She rolled her head around on her arms which were laying on her knees. It was the most comfortable she could get.

The others looked a bit annoyed at her complaining and reminding them of their plight; but Vrilly finally said, "I know, it's not like we can just turn out the sky's light!" Vick gave her a half-smirk appreciatively.

"Well, I for one opt to use Clasps the blob-lady as a pillow! Who's with me?!" Exclaimed Ploopoh suddenly.

"Uh...that'll be kind-of hard..." Replied Dib mystically.

"Why?!" Exclaimed almost everyone who'd been looking forward to it. Which included Lard-nar and the Tallests, as well as a very tired Vick and Agent Nessie.

"Because, she's been melted into a puddle to rest for the past five hours." Replied Tarky. He'd awoken earlier when everyone was enjoying the night sky.

"Aaawww~!" Moaned the unhappy exhausteds.

"I'm so sick of thiiis!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple suddenly. "Stuck on an unknown planet with a whole bunch of aliens and the softest place to sit is an alien BLOB-WOMAN! I WANT OUUU~UUUT!" He buried his face in his arm-guards.

Tallest Red started tearing up, "I, I, miss ordering people around~!"

"We're still here, my Tallest!" Offered Sploods very loyally. "Tak and I will do whatever you want!" Tak had wandered over and was hoping that they wouldn't order them to do anything embarrassing. Like entertaining!

"I thought we were done with this kind of stuff!" Tallest Purple as still moaning about it, though. "I mean, we used to be Invaders, but STILL! I LIKE BEING WAITED ON!"

"I want more _entertainment_ than just watching these aliens TALK ON AND ON AND ON!" Exclaimed Tallest Red. "I mean, come on! WHAT ABOUT THE PUPPET-SHOWS!?" He suddenly started shaking Sploods. Sploods blinked, and then started trying to come up with ways to appeal to them.

"Uh...perhaps...I can... Use some of my cut-off uniform to make...puppets?" He offered very unwillingly. He really wished he could get out of there; but, apparently, if making puppets would help his Tallest cope with this horrible tragedy, then making puppets it would have to be!

"*Sniff sniff* Really?!" Replied Tallest Red, looking hopeful.

"Then what are you waiting for?!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple, "Get to it! And make 'em interesting!"

"Yes, Sir!" Replied Sploods, then, turning to find Tak, he said, "Hey, gimme the cut-off part of my uniform I told you to hold for me!" Tak was conveniently nearby and complied. Hey, he out-ranked her! He could tell her to carry _him_ if he felt like it.

Not that he would, since there was no reason for it right now...she was also around the same size -a bit shorter- and would be more useful for other things. Like fighting the other horrifying monsters that came after them, you know the drill. She was annoyed to discover that he insisted on her helping him construct these things.

"No, no, no! Just give it here!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple finally, after they fumbled around with the fabric. He yanked the stuff away from them and he and Tallest Red set to work making their puppets. Thankfully...! That kept them occupied enough that for a while, there was no more arguing or complaints. Well, there were some complaints, but the arguments stayed at a bare minimum.

In the meanwhile, the others occupied themselves talking.

"So!" Exclaimed Vrilly suddenly, eyes wide as if she was trying to force herself awake, "Uhm...what to talk about...oh! I know! I'm a communi-marketer on my planet; what jobs do you guys do?"

"Aaahhh...and now we're at the age-old 'let's talk about or jobs' part...!" Mumbled Vick from burying her head in her arms on her knees. Then, "Well, let's see -my last job ended when I got into a _horrible_ fight with my boss...I've been living on unemployment benefits, but I was thinking of working from home by starting some sort of self-employed hobby-thing... And, on weekends, or whenever I'm not busy, I work as Agent Tuna Ghost for the Swollen Eyeballs, investigating weird and mysterious stuff. It doesn't actually pay anything; which is why I'm still considering working from home."

Vrilly nodded understandingly. "Ah, that reminds me, I lost my job a few years ago when I got angry and, eh...! 'Fired' my boss...! Heh, heh heh...!" The others stared at her expectantly. "Well, I mean!... He was JUST STANDING THERE, in the STINKIN' LIGHTER-FLUID which I TOLD him was too dangerous to stand either on or near; but, well, YOU KNOW~!" She then rolled her eyes. "At the very least, I get to imagine the fact that he won't _ever_ get that lighter-fluid smell off of himself~!"

Vick and everyone else in the group giggled, with the exception of the Almighty Tallest, who weren't paying any attention. Then Agent Nessie turned to the others and asked, "So, what about you?"

"What about YOU?!" Exclaimed everybody, pointing at him.

"Erm! I, uh...!" Started Nessie with his hands up innocently; but the others stopped him.

"YOU haven't told us what YOU do, yet!" Replied Throbulator with a wry grin. Though he'd been previously conversing with Starky and Ploopoh, he was glad when this new line of conversation began.

"Well, I thought I already told you..." Nessie paused in thought, honestly absorbed in thinking about it. "I've lived in Scotland for the last five years...and, I'm a Pharmacist! Although, for some reason they like to say 'Chemist' over there...pshhh! As if there's _that_ much chemistry included in it!"

Vick poked him with an elbow -don't ask how she managed to reach him. "Oh-OH! And on my time off, I do research for the Swollen Eyeball Network as Agent Nessie. 'Cause I live by Loch Ness. Is...that all...?"

"You know, that really doesn't explain it." Replied Throbulator, also being honest.

"What?! What's so confusing about it? I told you everything that you needed to know!" Exclaimed Agent Nessie, confused.

"What's a 'Pharmacist'?" Asked Lard-nar.

Agent Nessie promptly almost fell over at this question.

"He was _kidding_~!" Replied Lasch-mik. Almost everyone else giggled at his expense. "Sweety~ you shouldn't make awkward jokes -other people can get upset." She waved a finger at her son.

"Oh, come on! It wasn't that awkward!" Exclaimed Lard-nar. "I mean, nobody even minded -_he_ didn't!" He waved a hand over at Nessie, who was promptly interrupted from his conversation with Vrilly.

"Huh? What?" Asked poor, confused Nessie.

"Now, Lard-nar! You've been this way ever since you were plucked off the Electro-uterine Tree!" Lasch-mik still waved a finger at him. Dib's head perked up at the mention of weird alien reproduction-trees. "Globs know I tried to plick some sense into that scattered brain of yours; but, _really_!" Lard-nar was almost rolling his eyes, patiently waiting out the obviously well-rehearsed scolding. "Even your father, Papoosh, was worried about you; you don't even talk to your brother!" Lard-nar was about to say something, but she continued, "And don't say it's because of your little 'Resistance' thing, either!"

"Of course not, mother -it's because he's usually dealing in ILLEGAL ACIDS~ in the underground! Not because I don't want to give him a few scoldings of my own~!" At Lard-nar's comment, everyone was now extremely interested in his family's life.

"Wow, that even makes my own family seem less weird and hard to get along with!" Mumbled Vick, unheard by all except those who were sitting next to her.

"I can't believe that until he's been caught for illegal pan-handling!" Lasch-mik replied stubbornly. "I mean,_ sure_, there was that one little...eh, 'incident' in his mandatory-education days, but, uh...!"

"Geeze, Mother! What does it take to convince you that your other son's a _CREEP_!?" Exclaimed Lard-nar, face-palming.

"That is NO way to TALK ABOUT YOUR BROTHER, young man!" She said, instantly pulling on one of his head-things which made him yelp and flail about. Then she let go. "Now, let THAT be a lesson to you!" Lard-nar just pouted as she turned to sit down again.

"Sometimes I just don't understand my mother...!" He mumbled to himself as he also sat down -but farther away from her. He'd rather be standing on the other side of the camp, honestly; but she really would've been upset if he did that. He sighed as he sat down, and Shloonktapooxis looked on, floating, hoping he could help. Ploopoh put a hand on Lard-nar's shoulder reassuringly.

"Thanks," Lard-nar replied simply. The message passed, Ploopoh removed his hand.

Dib's head, in the meanwhile, was just BURSTING with questions! 'What's an "Electro-uterine Tree"?! Is that how Vortians reproduce?! Is there some kind of law against dealing is specific substances, like illegal drugs or something?! How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?! Oh, no...that one doesn't apply at all...!' While he was wrestling with these and other important and highly unimportant matters, Agent Nessie had tried to strike up a non-awkward conversation once more. It was kind-of awkward, though, until the others -including Ploopoh- joined in.

"Uhhh...right! So..." Nessie looked around, hoping another topic of conversation would show itself. It didn't. "So, uh...right! What do, uh, you do?" He asked the next person sitting next to him. Throbulator burst in instead.

"Well, I'M A ROUGH-ROCK SOLDIER!" Everyone turned to look at him.

"Uhh...right! Is the pay good?" Asked Vrilly, unsure as to why he was so excited to join in the conversation.

"Neh, it's a lot better than being a LAMEO-ROCK SOLDIER! But, of course, we don't quite as much moneys as the Irken soldiers!" He shrugged. "Whatever! I get my own place, and I DON'T have to watch out for INEXPERIENCED MORONS in my troop! So, that's cool..." The others were just surprised that Throbulator had ended his sentence in a slightly-non-loud manner.

"Which Troop are you?" Asked Crystal, now awake and wandering up to the little group surrounding the fire.

"I'm in TROOP BLOCK-LICK!" Exclaimed Throbulator, sticking his head and chest up proudly.

"Really?! I'm in Troop Eeek-lick!" She exclaimed. Then they both did something equally-unexpected.

They jumped up and gave each other high-fives and shouted, "HOBO-13 TROOP-LICKS!"

The others just stared on in wonderment.

"AND Zim-survivor-LICKS!" Added Throbulator with a wave of a finger. This just caused Crystal to laugh.

"Oh, MIK! That day was HORRIBLE!" She exclaimed. They both laughed at having lived through the terrible experience. Ploopoh looked on in surprise, suddenly reminded of that time.

"YOU TWO were on HOBO-13 when Zim was there to get 'special training', A.K.A. the Tallest just wanted to get rid of him?!" Ploopoh exclaimed, "I was silently betting on 'floo-gon fills his mouth and he suffocates to death'!" Then he grinned, "Wow! Small universe, huh?"

"Huh!?" Exclaimed Agent Nessie finally, "I can't understand a WORD of this -just what in the HFIL is everyone _talking_ about!?"

Everyone glared at him for the much-overused place-beneath-the-overworld expletive, but didn't say anything about it. Well, except for Lasch-mik.

"You should watch what you say around little brains!" She said, pointing to Dib's huuuge head.

They all looked over at Dib, who raised an eyebrow at this. Vick just snickered.

"Oh, come on! I've heard worse things -not that I'd REPEAT any of them-" Dib added this last part to allay any fears the mother-figure seemed to have of him repeating horrible words. She gave him an annoying eye-raise, but then said nothing.

"Say, about what you asked," said Ploopoh to Nessie, keeping everyone on-track. "I'm a Communications Drone on my planet, now called 'Communicatia'. I help keep all kinds of transmissions from getting mixed-up and where they need to go -and so I easily overheard about that whole, 'Hobo-13 fake-training mission' the Tallest sent Zim on, hoping that he would be killed...yeah." The humans blinked, but then nodded.

"So, you're like, one of them old telephone switch-board operators!" Replied Agent Nessie with a point.

"Ehne...not sure what you mean by 'telephone', but it's not as if I field all the calls myself; I can just hear them and make sure they're not talking about anything horribly-illegal...or that their lines aren't getting mixed up and that all security-transmissions STAY secure...you know the drill!" He grinned, but the group simply got oddly-quiet at this massive revelation.

There was silence.

"..."

"Awkwa~ard..." stated Vrilly.

"HEY! Then that means that you're THAT Ploopoh; from the planet Communicatia!" Exclaimed Sploods so suddenly with a shout, that the others practically had heart-or other blood-pumping mechanism-attacks!

"Uhhh...fuoh...! Yes, why do you wanna' know?" Ploopoh asked cautiously. Sploods didn't seem angered by this.

"You're able to field up to eleven calls at once, without the use of the cybernetic-implants! AND you can untangle even a complex web of annoying Enne Tents aliens which don't have any names so it gets all confusing...! You're a genius!" Sploods exclaimed, still happy. "If anyone can help us to rig up a communications-array from spare, random junk, it's _him_!"

"Nyeh-heh-heh...!" Ploopoh's face seemed to turn blue, positively a sure sign of a blush. "But, that was just that _one_ time...!" He insisted, his face now turning a bit violet. But then he added, "And besides, all my race has some kind of communications-enhanced abilities~! We were even called the 'Communicaes' long before the Irkens 'adopted' our planet into the Empire!" Blush gone, he then pointed to his own head, "But those cybernetic-implants which help us to do things fast _do_ help~!" Sploods could see that he was just being modest, and so he continued to explain to him.

"You've got what it takes to get someone to HELP US GET OUT OF HERE!" Sploods explained, "I mean, how is that NOT GOOD!?" Then he turned around just as the Almighty Tallest were finishing with their hand-puppets and hovering over to the rest of the group.

"Yes, yes, we heard~" sighed Tallest Red. His hand-puppet looked like a striped sock without eyes; he'd dubbed it "Señor Snakeyton". It still needed a little sombrero, though.

"Unfortunately, there's no-THINGS with which to MAKE any COMMUNICATIONS-ARRAY OUT OF! So, that's no good," added Tallest Purple. His puppet was also striped, and had two little holes cut out for eyes which he jabbed some sort of flowers in there and called said sock-looking puppet, "Wannol, the Traveling Minstrel", who apparently had a very colored and tragic past, and was now bent on revenge towards anyone who wouldn't listen to his music. _(A/N: "Wannol", sounds like "flannel".)_

"Señor Snakeyton" wiggled his little "nose" and looked towards "Wannol, the Traveling Minstrel", as if to mention something to him. "Wannol" promptly ate his face after singing a song musically intonated by Tallest Purple.

As everyone stared and watched this amusing and rather interesting puppety-show, the sounds of Lasch-mik and Clasps' screaming could be heard, and Tak instantly reported to them that they were indeed in trouble...!

Everyone who was either interested or cared ran towards the sound and found out what was happening: Clasps was trying to re-form from her puddle-rest, but something underneath was grabbing onto her, refusing to let go. Lasch-mik pulled on her blob-arms and head, trying to yank her up.

After Ploopoh and Throbulator joined in the tugging, along with Lard-nar and Crystal, she was finally un-stuck. Tak sighed as she realized they'd probably want her to scan for things.

Tak pulled out her scanner and said, "Yeah, you probably won't wanna' be resting there again...!" Then she winced.

"Ooohhh mik, this is sooo embarrassing!" Moaned Clasps. "Erm! What are you all standing around there, for?!" Although the danger was over, the others were staring at her, mysteriously curious for some reason.

"Are you okay?" Came Ploopoh, who was now the master of pointing out the obvious. Since he worked in communications.

"No! ...Well, yeah, but, uh...! This is too much...uh...!" Clasps looked about nervously before turning to Lasch-mik and whispering something.

"Oooh!" Lasch-mik said, before waving the others off, "Nothing to see here! You all can just leave, now!" The others didn't move, so Crystal shouted.

"She said, 'SCRAM'!" The others moaned and started to wander off. All except for Vick, who still seemed to notice that something was wrong. She wandered closer and quietly stood by Crystal, hoping for her to explain. Vrilly hovered nearby. It had soon turned into a gathering of all the females.

"I'm sorry for asking you about this," Clasps was mumbling to Lasch-mik, who patted her understandingly. "I'm also gonna' need some help with a scanner...!" The strangeness of this conversation still stayed strange, as Tak rolled her eyes and agreed. They all scooted over behind a part of the wall of dead soil-monster which made up their camp-site.

"...That's the last of them," Said Lasch-mik as she picked off the annoying little buggers from Clasps' large foot. Technically, it was the bottom part of her body which moved along the ground; so "foot" was the closest approximation. The "annoying little buggers" were apparently some sort of life-form which lived underneath the soil. Once Clasps had melted into a puddle to rest, they were lodged into her, and their little bodies were annoyingly-firmly-rooted in that soil. Causing her to get stuck. She for some reason didn't like the idea of the males in the group to know about that, which the other females seemed to pick up on.

"They're not potentially dangerous," assured Tak as she poked at her scanner, "But, just to be sure, we'll have to scan the rest of the camp-site and surroundings to find which places would be good to puddle-up to rest for you." Clasps the blob-woman's eyes welled up with woogily-tears as she responded.

"Th-thank you...!" She said gratefully, and Tak had to look away to avoid the full onslaught of "appreciation for unnecessary services rendered by an Irken".

"There's some shallow depressions in the rock around this, enh, thing here," pointed Vick to their dead soil-monster camp-site. Inside was a raised edge which could be used as "seats" or possibly even a counter. It was uneven and bumpy, so it could presumably be used as such a thing.

"Possibly -but I wouldn't suggest it," replied Tak, "This thing looks solid, but it's a bit porous... I guess I'll have to scan around to be sure." Then she sighed.

"Hey, at least you're not like some of those other blob-people!" Said Crystal, hoping to cheer Clasps up. "They have to walk around with large sacks, just in case they spontaneously combust!" There were a few nervous giggles.

"Isn't that how they reproduce...?" Whispered Vrilly.

"Wow, and I thought humans had it bad!" Laughed Vick. "That makes me feel a little bit better about being stranded here without any toiletries...!"

Clasps' eyes widened, and she said, "Yeah...that's something I wouldn't want to worry about...!"

"Psh! _That's_ nothing!" Said Lasch-mik with a wave of her hand. "Compared to being forced to shed your skin every thirty-three weeks?!"

"Yeah, that sounds pretty disgusting..." admitted Vick. "But I still think that _human women_ have it _worse_!"

"Oh, _you_ want _horrible_?!" Exclaimed Crystal, not to be left out. "There's nothing to be compared to growing little calcified lumps every time an oestrus-cycle comes around." Then she waved a hand, "I haven't even got a filer or the acids to dissolve them in -just in case so they somehow manage to get fertilized."

"Well, this conversation has taken a horrifying turn," said Tak under her breath as the others conversed.

"Oh, just suck it up, sweekzy," replied Lasch-mik. Tak glared at the racial comment. "You don't even have room to complain!"

"And for _good reason_!" Exclaimed Tak. "_We_ just happened to find a better way of doing things!"

"Oh, come on! You mean that _you_ don't have any _embarrassing bodily-functions_ to speak of?!" Exclaimed Vick annoyingly. Tak just ignored her ignorant brain's thoughts and replied.

"_Not_ anymore," she said succinctly. "The cybernetic modifications have reduced any need for that."

"Sheesh, being a psychic, cybernetic insect sure has its privledges, doesn't it?!" Snarked Vick. This caused Lasch-mik and Crystal to burst into laughter. Snarky Vick didn't even know what kind of can of worms she'd opened. Vrilly decided to avoid all the cans of worms, and politely excused herself to go back to the camp-site.

Tak raised a finger, about to reply to that, but just decided to ignore it instead. Unfortunately, the others didn't ignore it.

"Oooh! Psych-burn-Irk!" Said Crystal, putting out her fist for a sis-fist. _(A/N: Y'know, like a bro-fist...only with girls...yeah. Okay, I'll be good and stop making up stupid things! I promise...! *Crosses fingers* Okay, so...!)_

Vick looked at her apparent congratulatory fist and said, "What? What's that mean?" as she accepted the fist of awesomeness.

"Stupid racial comment," replied Clasps with a roll of her eyes.

"Speaking of psych-Irkens," said Lasch-mik as she wiped an eye wet with mirth, "If you're a Torulene Irken, then you probably would eat your mate anyways!"

"I will _so_ hurt you once my leaders decide the danger is past and the truce is no longer necessary," said Tak, glaring at her with intense hatred. "Your headacles won't be the _only_ thing withering once I'm through with you...!"

"Oh, you are so on...!" Replied Lasch-mik, also glaring.

_(A/N: I lied...!)_

"Your species _ate_ their mates?!" Said Vick in unconcealed interest.

"THAT'S enough of THAT," stated Tak in clipped tones. "Though if you're still interested in the topic, perhaps you could regale the others of the menstrual-cycle of a human female?!"

"Wooh, sharp tongue there... I'm not surprised you could eat anybody with a mouth like that!" Replied Vick with a sarcastic smirk.

"'Menstrual-cycle'?" Asked Crystal, interested.

"Okay, now even I'm interested," admitted Clasps.

"Of course, I'm interested," added Lasch-mik.

Vick rolled her eyes, "*Sigh* It's not that weird...although, it does get kinda'...gross. Anyways, let's just say that there's only thirteen days until I start feeling the need to go on a murderous rampage from lack of chocolate...!" Then she pouted, "Oh, crud...! I just depressed myself!"

"What are you, anyways?" Asked Crystal suddenly.

"What...?" Asked Vick, wiping away a stray tear induced from remembering a lack of delicious chocolatey-ness.

"She means, what kind of species?" Clasps clarified for Crystal.

"Oh!... Well, mammilian...why?" Replied Vick simply.

Tak smirked and scooted away, happy that the conversation had taken another turn.

"Mammal, mammals...give live birth and...nurse their young?" Crystal had to think a minute about where in the galaxy Earth was, and the commonalities of mammals among similar sentient species in that area.

"Yup!" Replied Vick. Lasch-mik was nodding in approval, as Crystal had gotten it right.

"So...those two things...on your chest...?" Said Clasps, pointing at said glands.

Vick looked down briefly before saying, "Yes."

"Then...the females give birth and nurse the young, and the male of the species is physically more active? Or stronger?" Summed up Lasch-mik.

"It depends on what you think of as 'strong'," replied Vick with a smirk. "That, and if you're comparing me with Agent Nessie, I think he's a flabby stick from working as a pharmacist."

"Yeah, my species places much greater importance on emotional strengths," replied Clasps. "So, that's why the Irkens were so confusing. They're mature, yet their ideas of 'wanting' and 'affection' are so different."

"What do you mean?" Asked Vick in confusion.

"Why don't you ask _her_?" Replied Lasch-mik, noticing that Tak had once again tried to edge her way out of the embarrassing conversation. She wasn't letting her get away!

Tak came wandering back over and said with a sigh, "It's really quite simple: if you like something, then you want it. You see?"

"Well, I guess so..." replied Vick, "But, why would that be confusing?"

"Because the Irkens also 'liked' our planet," replied Clasps.

"Oooh!" Vick nodded and laughed, "Yeah, I get it!"

"Well, it's not like it's anything unusual," replied Lasch-mik, "It's just that they seemed to think it such a _great honor_ to have that happen!"

"If even the annoying, stupid dirt-lings can understand that, then what's the problem?!" Smirked Tak.

"What's the problem with having an alliance and peace-treaty and keeping our own _planet_?!" Exclaimed Lasch-mik.

"That's NOT my job! If you want to complain, then why don't you go do it to the Tallest?!" Replied Tak, pointing towards the camp.

* * *

Meanwhile, back at the camp...

The rest of the group had no idea the kinds of things which were being discussed.

"Hey, I wonder what's taking them so long?" Asked Agent Nessie. "I mean, I think Vrilly came back, but...huh."

The others shrugged.

"Maybe they had to use the bushes?" Suggested Ploopoh.

"Ah, yeah...females always wanna' go to the restroom together..." agreed Tarky. The two human males looked up in surprise until he felt like asking them, "What?"

"You mean that's more than just a _human_ thing?!" Exclaimed Nessie. The others in the group laughed.

"Wow. If the universe gets any more ironic, I'm gonna' start sprouting super-shiny hair!..." Mumbled Dib as he poked around at the coal-like rocks near the fire.

* * *

"Wouldn't she have to make a complaint to the _Control Brains_?" Asked Clasps intelligently. Crystal snickered, as Vick looked on confusedly.

"You see?! Everyone else _gets it_!" Exclaimed Tak as she pointed to the others. "_You're_ just whining and complaining since your planet was recently conquered!"

"Well, somebody's too easy to please!" Exclaimed Lasch-mik. "Didn't it ever occur to you that those 'super-smart Control Brains' are just making the same decisions, over and over?! Doesn't _any_one think it's time for a _change_?!"

"_You're_ starting to sound like one of those confounded Resisties! Don't _start_ what you can't _finish_!" Tak said this last part with a lowered voice, tainted with dark intent.

"Even if they are idiots, at least _my son's_ trying to make a _difference_! There's way too many civilizations out there that'll jump at the chance to change things up a bit!" Exclaimed Lasch-mik, waving her arms around. "Even if they are just glorified morons, at least they're TRUTHFUL!"

"THAT'S _ENOUGH_!" Exclaimed Tak, loud enough to echo off the stone-ish walls of their camp. "There's no point in arguing over THIS! _None_ of us have any say in what goes _on_!" Then she realized that Lasch-mik was looking at her with the strangest sort of smirk...almost a knowing smirk...!

"Yes. Or so I _hear_...!" Said Lasch-mik quietly.

Tak's eyes widened and she snarled. Just as she was about to tell her off, someone else interrupted. It was Vick, who had finally decided not to let them get into wild cat-fight...although it'd be easy to see who would win if that happened. She just didn't like the idea of them fighting each other over intergalactic politics on some planet in the middle of nowhere. Seriously, they had to think things over a little bit!

"Look, I don't mean to poke my nose into your business," Vick started, "But, don't you think that this isn't the time to get into a fight over intergalactic politics while we're all zillions of light-years away from our homes?!"

"Aaawww, why'd you have to interrupt them?!" Moaned Crystal. "It was getting interesting...!"

"I know, I was too interested to say something before," admitted Vick a bit sheepishly, "But, it's really not a good idea...!" The reply to this was just pouting and sneering. Pouting, from Tak, Crystal, and Clasps; sneering from Lasch-mik, who was really interested in how Tak would've reacted to her little bit of news she'd heard...!

But, Vick was actually right. This wasn't the time to fight with each other. For however long they'd be there, they'd most likely have to work together to survive; and she hoped she'd at least get another opportunity like this. She sighed and eventually pushed herself to ignoring the disappointment in her gut. Lasch-mik crossed her arms and turned away, walking a few paces away from their small group.

"I'll, uh...! Just go back and, uh...join the guys!" Replied Crystal, suddenly sensitive to some unseen cue as she walked back towards the camp.

"And I'll go, too!" Replied Clasps, turning around to go join her.

Tak was currenly looking away at something else, twitching her antenna a little bit. This was probably the reason why Crystal and Clasps had reacted the way they did...but Vick didn't know anything thing about that, as she couldn't tell any change in an Irken's mood by their antenna.

"*Phew*! Well, that was close...!" Stated Vick. There was silence for a few minutes.

"Thanks," said Tak. It was sudden, and Vick looked up with a start before she continued, "I almost forgot I couldn't kill any _annoying_ aliens." Then she promptly walked off towards the camp.

"Uhhh...you're welcome..." Replied Vick slowly as she walked away.

"And I say, thanks for _nothing_!" Said Lasch-mik with a snap, "I was about to find out something interesting...! I was hoping that little piece of news I found was worthwhile... Before you ruined it!"

"Really?!" Asked Vick, leaning in to discreetly whisper, "I like little news-bits~!" Lasch-mik smirked, showing off some rather sharp-looking teeth before whispering back to her.

* * *

It was a full few minutes before the other two females returned to the rest of the group. The Almighty Tallest were now performing a puppet-show in front of the others, who were adding their own two cents in and progressively ruining the act for them.

"Hey, Vick! Lasch-mik! You're missing it!" Replied Nessie to their entrance. Dib hardly looked up as he was paying more attention to the Tallest's failing puppet-play. "The Foosh-snakes are just working with the Wandering Minstrels to subjugate the Senior Servants!" The two who'd just arrived simply stared at him in wonderment.

"Hey! Shut-up while we're watching!" Exclaimed Tarky as he huffed, turning back to the puppets. The Almighty Tallest had now gotten their arms somehow tangled and had a hard time getting them loose. Eventually they succeeded, and when Wannol the Wandering Minstrel's hat and flower-eye came out, Tallest Red waved his own Señor Snakeyton puppet up in the air, victorious somehow.

"Whoo-hoo!" Shouted Tallest Red. "I win! I win the battle!"

"Hey! That's not fair~!" Moaned Tallest Purple, "I wasn't finished!"

"Nuh-uh! I win~!" Tallest Red said, pulling down on one eyelid. "And you su-uuck!"

"The game goes to Almighty Tallest Red, who successfully subdued Almighty Tallest Purple!" Said Sploods, somehow completely in on the strange turn of events which had somehow been dubbed a game. He put a reddish string of plant-fibers around the winning Tallest's neck, apologizing for the lack of "appropriate winning stuff or medals". The other Tallest suddenly leaned up.

"Suck THIS, suckah!" Tallest Purple exclaimed, shoving something he'd found on the ground which could only be described as looking like a giant bar of fizzing soap at his opponent's mouth. Said opponent, Tallest Red, fell back as the fizzing bar of something invaded his grinning maw and forced him down to the ground.

"And...in a surprising come-back, is the Almighty Tallest Purple!" Said Sploods, after doing a double-take at the other Tallest's subduing. "He may now take the winning er, string, and anything else he wants, for himself!"

"Uuuu...RAAAHHH!" Shouted Tallest Red, suddenly flying through the air and landing a punch on an unsuspecting Purple. Although, the truth be told, the only reason why Sploods was announcing things like a boxing-match was because these two did this all the time when they were bored enough. Well, a lot, anyways... The others just looked on in rapt fascination as the two "Almighty" Irken leaders continued to pummel each other.

"What, are they KIDS or something?!" Exclaimed Tarky rather suddenly. The others just paused to look at him. "What?! Oh, like you guys weren't thinking THE SAME THING!" Then Sploods snapped his fingers, and both Tallests and Tak were suddenly on him, Tak holding down his goopy-looking body as the Almighty Tallest gave him the worst noogie in the history of noogies -because, with the current truce, they couldn't kill or horribly maim him over it.

"Nope, we just weren't stupid enough to say something," Starky stated the exact thing everyone else was thinking.

"Well, when did you wake up?" Asked Lard-nar with some shock.

"What?" Asked Starky. "I've been awake the entire time...! I'm just not getting into an arguement, apparently...!" He added this last part looking at poor Tarky, who was wobbling from his horrible noogie-ing!

The others had to admit that he was right; they really hadn't noticed him because of the fantastic show the Almighty Tallest were putting on as everyone argued with them over their play.

"So, what have you got to say?!" Asked Tallest Red, suddenly standing up from their combined noogie-ing.

"Uh...what?" Asked poor Starky, confused as to what they wanted. "I'm sorry, I, uh...don't know what you mean."

"We _mean_, what can you do to entertain us?!" Replied Tallest Red insistently.

"Yeah! You gotta' be able to do somethin'!" Shouted Tallest Purple, now mysteriously chewing on a plant or bark or something which may or may not have been fit for consumption...but he chewed on it anyhow. Tak confirmed that it was not poisonous. But neither was it much nourishment...not that it mattered to Irkens, whose PAKs did all of that for them... But, it was something, and it kept his mouth shut while he was shouting... Weirder descriptions have been typed, but that was just the start of it. Even still, he kept chewing on it, until Tallest Red took notice.

"Dude, I want some of that," he said, holding a hand out. Tallest Purple, now satisfied with his violence, was happy to comply and share some of the amazing, non-nourishing yet non-poisonous plant with him. Then, "Hey, this tastes like, bad or something...did you give me the wrong plant!?" Tak had to confirm that it wasn't the right kind...then Sploods found the right one to give to him.

As all of this was happening, Starky waited patiently until their attention was once again on him so that he could respond, "Well, I'm, uh...not really that good at entertaining...!" He admitted, rubbing the back of his head, "I mean, really! All I can do is sing 'Morin's Mortie's Weiners' in three different harmonies...!" The others glanced back at him.

"Well, pick one and sing it for us!" Replied Nessie finally. It would at least shut the Almighty Tallest up, even though he was a bit nervous to find out what exactly aliens qualified as "singing".

"W-no, you see, I sing _all three_ of them... At once." Replied Starky with a wave of his hands to emphasize this.

Everyone else said, "Ooohhh..." and then insisted that he sing it. And so he did. Even Agent Nessie had to admit, his singing was very good...though he didn't know the words to it. It wasn't even flat!

After their impromptu song, everyone started conversing about their actual abilities. And Dib, of course, was no stranger to that! He made it fully-known that he was more observant than anyone else in his skool; so much so, that the other two Earthlings finally decided to push his head into the ground to get him to shut it. Then the others got a turn at the boasting-boat. And speaking of boat...!

"So, 'Nessie', was it? What's your deal?" Asked Ploopoh.

"Huh? What?" Asked Nessie, nervous for some reason he couldn't quite pin-point. This was soon pointed out for him.

"Well, he says 'Nessie', and your little name-tag thing says 'Shaftoe'... Why exactly is that?" Ploopoh pointed to the name-tag that was on the now-stained-beyond-all-stain-removal pharmacist's coat, which lie by the fire, empty of all save a couple of bits of food. Mysteriously and yet not too mysteriously almost emptied most likely by the two Tallest who were now sucking and chewing on mysteriously yet not too mysterious non-nourishing yet non-poisonous pieces of plant or bark. Or something. Agent Nessie just sighed to himself, hoping that he didn't have to go into full detail about either of his names... Of course, this story just wouldn't be much fun otherwise!

"Shaftoe is, er, my middle-name...I don't much like my other names. I got the name 'Agent Nessie' partially because of where I live -near Loch Ness where the famed Loch Ness Monster lives- and also partly from a horrible, unrelated incident...which incidentally turned out to be a part of my investigation, and so it was chosen as my code-name? Or something..." Nessie trailed off in confusion. Vick decided he hadn't explained that last part quite clearly enough, so she volunteered!

"Part of the tradition of Swollen Eyeball agents is to pick a name based on a particular supernatural event which happened to them in their lives," as Vick said this, Tak started to smirk, wondering if they'd ever find out what kind of "supernatural event" led to Dib's rather ironic name-choice. Vick started to smirk now as she said, "And guess what happened to Agent _Nessie_...?"

"Woah no, woah no...!" Said agent now hung his head and moaned. He knew it was too late to stop now if everybody wanted to hear the awful truth about it, and yet, "Okay, but if they hear MY story, you have to tell YOUR story!"

"Alright, deal!" Vick said with a smirk.

"*Sigh* Well, I guess it all started whenever I'd first moved to Scotland... I'd gotten a job at a local skool working for a professor there; oh, and it was a college...maybe it was...! Darnit, I've worked at all of them, I just keep getting them out of order...! Dop Top Pop College, maybe it was...

"In the meantime, I wanted to keep an eye out for the local legend, ol' Nessie. I was walking around the edge of the loch, watching the water, with my camera out, taking waaay too many fuzzy and blurry pictures 'cause I was sort-of...inebriated." Nessie paused in his narration at this point, wondering if any of the aliens knew what "inebriated" meant.

Dib just snickered because he'd already heard this whole horrifying tale.

As Vick smirked knowingly, Agent Nessie continued, "I had just been to visit the local Pub, so I'd had a few drinks. Man, that barkeep is weird...! I mean,_ every single time_ I walk in there, he starts singing, 'Who Threw the Overalls in Mrs. Murphy's Chowder?'! Really! I mean, he doesn't do it for anyone _else_! It's JUST ME!" Then he noticed that the others were staring at him. Throbulator was the first one to ask the very obvious question.

"What song is that?" Asked Throbulator in a remarkably low tone.

"What? Oh, that song? Well, he only sings the chorus part of it, and I don't know all the words..." Replied Nessie with a thoughtful hand to his chin, "But it goes,

'Who threw the overalls in Mrs. Murphy's chowder?  
No one spoke up, so I shouted all the louder:  
'Tis an Irish trick, it's true!  
And I'll lick the Mick who threw  
The overalls in Mrs. Murphy's choo~wwder!'"

There were a few confused snickers, and both Dib and Vick burst out laughing. When they'd regained their breath, Dib was the first to speak up.

"Wh-wh-but isn't that an Irish song?!" He asked as he took a breath from the laugh.

"I KNOW!" Exclaimed Agent Nessie, and Vick just laughed some more before finally responding.

"Well, maybe it's an _honor_? You get a whole song's refrain devoted to YOU!" She started laughing again.

"Oh hoh hoh!" Replied Nessie, "With the way those guys mess around with you? I doubt it!" Then he started to laugh too.

"Okay, not that this isn't fun, watching you guys convulsing with laughter over a song or something," Lard-nar spoke up. The three humans snickered at this.

Ploopoh continued his thought for him, "But, why don't you continue your story?" The three Earthlings continued snickering until Nessie finally got his breath enough to continue in the story.

"Okay, so! ...There I was, just walking along, er, stumbling some, along the edge of Loch Ness, taking sloppy pictures with my camera, when suddenly I hear some guys from behind me start talking in Targe`t. When I looked around behind me to see who they were, the two guys -I think there were two, and I _think_ they were guys- suddenly clocked me on the back of the head, knocking me out!

"...Well, after a while I woke up in the trunk of a car, I didn't know what time it was, but I did have my phone with me. I made a quick, slurred call to my landlady -well, I'm sure I had a concussion after all that, and I was still probably inebriated... She didn't quite understand and I hadn't the thought in my head to call 911 -er, it would be 119 there, anyhow. I'm sure I wouldn't have remembered even that if I'd had enough of my head about me...!

"I looked around the back trunk I was in, hoping to find a way out. There was what looked like a pale thing floating above and behind my head...that was odd, since I can't even see that far behind me. I'm really sure I had a concussion and was just drunk, but, uh...! Then I put my hand back to see what it was, and I ended up pushing on this panel! It turned out that there was an opening from the trunk into the backseat -you kow, like some cars have?- and I was able to find it and pull myself out through it. It's a good thing I'm skinny, otherwise I never would've fit!" Agent Nessie paused a bit to catch a breath.

"As I was saying, there I was, in the back seat of this old, worn-out vehicle, with still no clue where in the heck I was or what had happened...! I stumbled out of the car and managed to get a few paces to a tree, where I overheard another conversation, and this one was in Scottish Gaelic -very few people speak that now, and even though I was drunk and confused, I was still interested. As I stood there, wondering just who they were, and whether or not they were the ones who'd kidnapped me, among other things, a random piece of blue fabric suddenly flew over me!... Someone's laundry had apparently flown off the line and was hanging there over my head, like a really lame costume. It was probably funny.

"Anyways...the owner of the laundry came running over, very upset, and looking like she thought that I was either a thief of laundry or just belonged with those other fellas who were trying to have a conversation in an old language. I stepped back, and tried to simultaneously pull the fabric off my head and tell her that I wasn't a thief or something, when...!

"I stumbled backwards and wound up almost in the ditch; I turned around and started running in the other direction, but then I realized that the other direction was the one that other conversation was in! I think that for some reason they thought I was chasing them or something, because two of them started running for the car, and the other two started shooting at me! I don't know what happened to that laundry-woman, but I ducked down and started running in another direction. At that point, I didn't care which! Just as long as it was away from them!

"I'm not sure how long I was running, before I lost my footing and started rolling down an old gravel road, and I don't know what happened after that! I woke up again in the back of what I realized was a different trunk, and this time, I was all bound up with Duck-tape and some rope. I wriggled around, but I couldn't tell what had happened or how I was gonna' get out of this! I didn't have long to wait, though... They had apparently taken my wallet and maybe even my cell-phone, but I probably just dropped it... In any case, I was taken from the trunk, asked a lot of rude questions which I didn't know, beaten up, and then thrown down into a ditch.

"Then...I think that that old laundry-woman must've informed the police, because the next thing I knew, I was waking up as they put me on a stretcher and hauled me into an ambulance... The End." Agent Nessie ended this long and meandering account just as lamely as it had started. The others just stared in awe at that.

"That...uh...that was..." started Starky, but he didn't know how to continue it. It was just that odd.

"You know, that doesn't have anything to do with that 'Loch Ness Monster' thing you were talking about..." Lard-nar finally managed to think up a good response. The others nodded and agreed.

"I KNOW!" Shouted Agent Nessie, grabbing his head in almost a scream, "I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT PART, EITHER!" The other two humans had once again begun convulsing in laughter.

Dib was the first to speak up, "I-I love that...!" Without any further elaboration.

"I, I guess it really was just because you live next to Loch Ness...!" Laughed Vick as she tried to pat him on the shoulder and failed, still convulsing with laughter.

"I-I'm glad I'm not the only one that stuff happens to...!" Dib finally explained, still laughing, but starting to breathe normally again. He wiped a tear out of his eye as he leaned up again.

"What, _you've_ been beaten up and thrown into a car two times after stumbling around drunk at Loch Ness?!" Asked Vick. Everyone started laughing at that. "Well, you did get stuck in that really, really fat guy's stomach...!"

"No, no!" Laughed Dib, "I've been through a _lot_ worse that _that_~!" Whence he proceeded to regale them with a few of his personal experiences.

*"..."*

Several minutes later...

"Wow, I," started Lard-nar, "I don't even think I can begin to understand this...!"

"I know...!" Added Throbulator, just as shocked at the kinds of stories they'd just heard from this kid. "It's...it's...! It's like, some horrible nightmare!"

"Uh-huh...!" Nodded Lard-nar. Even the Almighty Tallest were too shocked to say much.

"Oh, hey! Uh...what about the rest of your names?" Asked Ploopoh, interested in changing the subject from such depressing anecdotes. Honestly, he really wanted to give the kid a cookie for all of that...! But, he did have such a big head, that seemed to draw things to it, and so...he ignored the pity and went for the question, instead. This question hopefully wouldn't include any more horrifying answers.

"Ah, yes, why don't we hear how 'Agent Mothman' got his name?" Asked Tak, and the others nodded in agreement, obviously forgetting who was Agent Mothman in the hopes for a better tale.

"Huh?!" Said Dib, "Well, there's not much to tell..." the other aliens moaned as they realized who "Agent Mothman" was. "I was in the middle of checking out the few mothman sightings in my neighborhood at the time when I was contacted by the Swollen Eyeballs. I showed them my photographs, and although they were pretty good, they were still too fuzzy to see clearly. It was hard to take a good picture when I was worried about why the wires on that suspension-bridge were snapping...!

"In any case, I got back to one side of the river before the bridge collapsed partially. There wasn't much that actually happened...then I told my story to the Eyeballs, and they said my glasses made me look like a mothman with that 'Swollen Eyeball Filter' thing on the screen," Vick started snickering at the memory of that time. "I think it was Agent Dark Booty who said that...anyhow, that's how I got my name...not a very interesting story. I have other stories, though-!" Everyone suddenly shouted and started waving their arms at this.

"NO!"

Dib pouted, but obeyed. Tak was annoyed that it wasn't a very horrible or revealing story, but said nothing.

"I guess I'm the only one left; my name's Agent Tuna Ghost...and I've got the best story for my name~!" Replied Vick, pointing at herself.

"No you don't, Agent Floaty Ghost has!" Exclaimed Nessie petulantly. "And Agent Wearing Slick Shoes comes pretty close!" He held a finger up as he said so.

"SHADDAP, I'M THE ONE TELLIN' THE STORY!" Shouted Vick in annoyance, startling everyone. Apparently lack of sleep did horrible things for her. "As I was saying... It all started when I was searching for the mysterious Giant Kraken off the arctic coast of Sibeorl..."

As she told her story, the fire crackled as if in response to some kind of obscure, theatrical-reference cue.

"...And just when I thought I'd had a bite on my line, I looked down, and there was this little squid, just hangin' there...well, at first I thought it was a squid, but...then it turned out to be an OCTOPUS, and then my boat suddenly over-turned!" She shouted this last part and waved her hands around, as if it was the most shocking thing in existence. "I thought for sure that I'd drown from hypothermia, but apparently I was too scared and jazzed up on adrenaline...either that, or it was all those layers of clothes I was wearing... It doesn't matter, the point is, that I was almost about to die a horrifying Death-by-Kraken! But then when I started swimming, I noticed these tuna-fish all around me...

"The tuna kept pursuing me, no matter how fast or hard I swam! ...Oh, and I was also carrying that one little octopus in my TEETH with the tackle and other stuff over my shoulders that I'd grabbed from the boat after it'd capsized... Anyway, KRAKEN! Dead behind me! Well, _alive_! dead behind me, and TUNA swimming after me! A misty horizon lay in front of me, and I swam just as fast as I could towards where I thought there was a shore! ...Boat gone, no way other than to swim for my life as I tried desperately to lose this TUNA that kept chasing after me! I eventually made it to an island somewhere off the coast of Sibeorl, and I collapsed on the edge of a fishing-village." Vick's story was concluded, but she didn't say so, just sat there, looking smug about the thole thing.

"Then what happened?" Asked Lard-nar, wondering if this was the end or not.

"Oh! Well, the people of the village saw me and took me in... Said it was a miracle that I'd even survived being in the water, let alone swimming! Then they told me a story about a 'Ghost Tuna' that haunts those waters. Said it must've been that tuna-fish's ghost that saved me! That tuna was irritating...! Kept trying to cut me off, too! I think I changed directions too many times..." Vick trailed off for a moment as she tried remembering.

"Uhhh...then what?" Asked Ploopoh. Well, she still hadn't mentioned whether it was the end or not, so...

"Oh! Right! ...Well, that's the end! After I got back home my story was in all the Sibeorl newspapers, and I was contacted by the Swollen Eyeball Network just shortly after that...! And so, that became my name. 'Agent Tuna Ghost'." Then she shrugged. "And... Yeah."

"WOW!" Exclaimed Clasps.

"Okay, she was right: that story WAS the awesomest~!" Exclaimed Vrilly, impressed.

"You oughta' hear Agent Floaty Ghost's story!" Said Nessie with a smirk, "It'll give _everyone_ the chills!"

Dib just smirked, "I bet that_ now_ I could do him one better...!" As he thought of his own adventures, "Heh, now that's a story waitin' to be told...!"

Both Agent Nessie and Vick raised an eyebrow at him and said, "Huh?...!" But, before they could ask the question that would inevitably lead into another horrifying story, someone thankfully spoke up.

"Okay, I've got a good story!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple suddenly, "It's all about how this stupid little sucker went and did ni-" He was suddenly tackled by Tallest Red, who was the "stupid little sucker" in the story. "NYOOOOOOHHHHH!" Nobody could tell which one shouted this, but it was apparent that neither of them could agree on the story now. Sploods just sighed as he turned to the group.

"Well, I've got a good one. There was once this little technician, who-"

"Wait, is this the one with the mouse family in it?" Asked Ploopoh suddenly, pointing at him.  
_(A/N: Insert family-joke no one else will understand... Check!)_

Sploods did a double-take, "Wha- NO! This is my _own_ story, so pay attention, peoples!" Everyone did so and paid attention. "ACHEM:

"There was once this little technician, who wanted to get into Extreme Circus Flunging. But, he didn't exactly have the training or the build for it."

"Oh, it's this one," Said Tallest Red.

"Oh, it's that one," Said Tallest Purple at the same time, causing the others to briefly look up at the two who were paused in mid-hover-wrestle.

"Man, he always tells it whenever things get boring." Commented Tallest Red.

"Yeah, I know," replied Tallest Purple. Sploods waited until the Tallests had had their say before continuing.

"Anyways," he started.

"You'd think he could change it," said Tallest Red.

"Shhh, quiet, he's still telling it!" Replied Tallest Purple. Sploods continued once again.

"This technician then mentioned it to me when he was repairing my Bronz Muncher. Back then they had the ones where the- oh, you know the kind!" He waved a hand before continuing. "Anyhow, we- er, I suggested that he go to the Admissions section in the Career Placement Examinations Tent to talk to a certain specific person -name and/or names excluded for personal privacy-" A lot of the others nodded, "Then I told him to say -hee hee, I can't really say this, but let's just say that it was...a compliment...?! *Snickers* Anyways, to make a long story short, he got the job, but, uh..."

He trailed off for a minute before finally remembering how it ended, "Oh! That's right, he saved someone from falling into the Circus' Fire Pit and won a really coveted job...'cause that's just what the Circus' Falling into a Fire Pit Defence Squad is there for! The end!"

The others laughed appreciatively, even the ones who didn't know exactly what was going on in there, because the name, "Circus' Falling into a Fire Pit Defence Squad" was just that funny. "So, who's next?" Asked Sploods, like it was the "telling stories around the fire" routine...that it had gradually evolved into.

"Okay, I've got one!" Exclaimed Starky, raising his hand, "Okay, so, this involves myself and my wife Tarsey, before when I'd just met Markey, and-" someone, Vrilly, interrupted with a raised hand.

"Sorry, but, uh, just for a little reference: how many wives do you have now?" She asked, a little bit confused as to his family-life. "I mean, if this is a family story, then, uh...'cause Sploods didn't exactly explain things, either...! Uh, sorry, Sploods." She nodded towards him apologetically. He just shrugged his shoulders, unaware that there had to be any explaining done with it.

"Oh! Right, sorry. Well, right now I have two; Tarsey, and Markey, who's the child-bearer. Anyhow, this story takes place just when I'd met Markey, so, uh, we were just dating at the time...make sense now?" All nodded, and Vick stared with a raised eyebrow, now glad she'd avoided being flirted with by a guy whose species were apparently polygamous.

Starky pretended like he didn't see the weird looks she was giving him because of an awkward flirting-attempt, and continued. "Well, we had planned to meet with Markey at, uh...a food-court. Or something. Darnit, if she were here she'd be correcting me, she'd be able to tell it," a couple of the others snickered at that. "Markey was late, though...! It was odd, because she was usually so strict and stuff... Anyways, it turns out that she was buying something from this magician as a gift."

"What kind of magician?" Asked Vick with renewed interest, the annoying flirting-attempt all-but-forgotten.

"Well, uh... His name's Fortints, and he's the Panhandler of the local Monster House, the Peeshugurs." The Irkens and humans snickered at this. For some reason, the others were all too afraid to snicker, and for good reason: anyone whose planet didn't have a strong ruling Monster House wasn't about to laugh about the name of one who did. The humans, of course, were just ignorant.

Except for Dib, of course. But he wasn't aware of much Monster House etiquette, and so he was also left snickering uncontrollably. "Well, if you're all done now," started Starky again, but this just caused the others to snicker even more. He waited a few moments again and then continued.

"Anyhow, Panhandler Fortints wouldn't give it to her without a Reccomended Mystics -that's a kind of medicine, for those of you who don't know-" he seemed to be looking specifically at the humans as he said this, and at Vick in particular, but nobody noticed. Not even Dib, who was very good at notice. "Then she had to go to another store, buy it, and come back."

"Meandering _sto-ory_!" Pointed out Lasch-mik, "Really! You're as bad as that Nessie human! Get to the point!"

"I am getting to it!" Replied Starky in annoyance, despite himself. "Anyhow! Then when we finally met up with her, she showed off the prettiest little Fluffpy you'd ever seen -it was so nice- and then we wound up almost never using it! The end." He looked around, but mostly at the humans. "Are there any questions?"

"What's a 'Fluffpy'?" Asked Agent Nessie, who instantly caused a couple of others to snicker. Mainly Lard-nar and Shloonktapooxis. "What?!"

"A 'Fluffpy' is a, uh...fertility charm." Replied Starky, unsure of exactly how to describe it, since even they were usure of its exact effects and function.

Nessie just blinked, and then wondered why that would ever count as an interesting story. "You just regaled us with a boring tale about a fertility charm...!?"

This gave everyone room to think. There was a very long and awkward pause.

"That sounds like the time that I was talking to this one FOOP-LICK soldier on the planet Moofsbane...!" Stated Throbulator. "He said that they also had some great pan-handling magicians in their Monster House..."

"Mik, our Monster House totally had no chance -against the Floofkeesians, that is- not against the Irkens' one." Stated Clasps as she looked over to them. The Irkens glared at her for even bringing it up.

"Yeah, uh, not to seem_ terrified_ about the subject, but could you please refrain from mentioning that?!" Stated Tallest Red. Both he and Purple had long-since stopped arguing and were huddled together, talking about their puppets when these comments were made, and Sploods shuddered involuntarily. Purple was trying his hardest to appear unaffected by all this, by not saying anything.

"Mik, that guy gives me the _creeps_!" Sploods stated, rubbing his arms with a bit of a chill. Dib just raised an eyebrow at him, wondering how anybody could be creeped out by that guy -and then remembered that he was used to that kind of stuff, because of his sister. Huh. No wonder he'd felt so comfortable around him, huh?

"So..." mumbled Vick, "We probably shouldn't ask what everyone here means by 'Monster House', and why everyone seems to have one." Dib gulped unconsciously, realizing that both Vick and Nessie were getting curious.

"Well, probably any planet has one," replied Vrilly with a shrug.

"Yeah, we had one!" Waved Throbulator.

"Us, too!" Waved Crystal.

"Yeah, ours got merged with the Throbutorlites'," said Tarky.

"We didn't!" Replied Ploopoh. When all the others turned to look at him, he said, "Well, our species has always been good at communicating -and that means that even the outcasts would be easy to get to know." He explained this so simply, that no one else needed to ask any more questions -except Vrilly.

"Was that why they didn't participate in that whole, 'Great Arms Race', that took place across the galaxy?" She asked with a point. In his direction.

"What? Er, no; there were also some, uh, political things and reasons for that...let's just say that any of us who actually _know_ about it aren't supposed to say...which is a pretty big deal, _believe_ you _me_!" Ploopoh explained with a sigh.

"There was a 'Great Arms Race' that took place across the Galaxy?!" Asked Vick, thankfully taking the pressure off of Dib's little heart. He was worried he'd have to explain about his own "Monster Family"...! But, now that the subject had changed, he didn't have to.

"There was a 'Great Arms Race' around about...300 years ago...? Anyways, a lot of planets got this scare with some of the new 'Atom Generating' technology, and everyone was in a tizzy trying to create even cooler stuff. They eventually calmed down when no one wanted to start a war because everyone was so well-armed! *Snickers* Eventually, the Irkens even worked together with Vort to create some 'Atom Scattering' technology, and that stopped everyone in their tracks! *Laughs* Man, history class can be so much fun~!" Explained Vrilly as she leaned back her head with a sigh.

"Wow, then I'm gonna' have a lot of fun talking to you~!" Replied Vick with a snicker.

"Well, History was one of my favorite subjects~!" Replied Vrilly with a little wave of the hand. Both girls giggled.

"Well, speaking of gossip," started Lasch-mik. The whole group turned to look at her. The Irkens had the strangest feeling like they knew where this was going -in whole or in part, due to Tak's ability permeating their brains as she tried to keep the peace.

"But, we weren't talking about gossip," stated Sploods, raising a finger up.

"Well, I am, and I've just heard the most interesting bit of news..." replied Lasch-mik sneakily. Tak, who was hidden from view keeping a "lookout" on the other side of their deceased soil-monster shelter, snarled to herself. That narflack was going to keep trying to confirm that fact, no matter what! She tried to stay calm as she pouted in the background. There was, afterall, nothing she could do.

"About the Moo-moo Galactic Covenant?" Asked Vrilly. "Yeah, I've heard that!"

"Everybody's heard about that!" Stated Sploods in annoyance. He already knew what it was about; but he'd be darned if he was gonna' admit it!

"Yeah, let's not start gossiping about unfounded rumors...!" Stated Tallest Purple.

"Ulgh, it's irritating! You know that kind of stuff gets around about every time something war-like happens, right?" Remined Tallest Red, rubbing his head.

"Oh, come on! Don't say you're not in the least bit interested...!" Replied Lasch-mik, still not backing down.

Just as the Tallest and Sploods were about to shout, "WE'RE NOT!", something else spoke up.

Tarky's body squeaked and wurbled, wiggling all over and generally making a ruckus. "Uhhh, sorry, but my body just can't take being hungry for very long...ulgh! Is there any of that food left?" He asked, looking weaker as he bent over, drooping like a sick flower. Even the flower-looking-thing on the top of his head had started to turn blue-ish purple.

"Oh, sure, you can have the rest of what's in this -er, woops." Lard-nar had just pulled up Nessie's coat, only to find that it'd been emptied...rather mysteriously, actually, considering that some of the humans' food and others' was gone as well. Everyone looked around and whistled innocently, as if they didn't want the others to know that they'd done it. After a while of nervous nonchalancy, their conversation continued.

"Well, I guess I'll just go out and look for some," Tarky replied, peering off into the dense jungle with just the slightest bit of trepidation. "Uhm, not to seem needy, but, uhm...my eyesight in the dark is not that good...and, uhm, a scanner or something might be good..." Then he looked around for Tak, "Might be nice to have..."

"*Sigh* Soldier! Take that food-tarp and escort this alien through the jungle. Leave him if he gets into trouble -we don't want our food-stores getting lost or stolen! And don't forget to get some more snacks for us, as well." Tallest Red ordered Tak, pointing towards Agent Nessie's coat and Tarky. Tarky winced at the fact that he was to be abandoned if they were in trouble, but was thankful for at least the consideration. The others in the group were all too tired or annoyed to even comment on it.

"Yes, Sir!" Replied Tak, taking the "food-tarp" and pulling out a scanner. "Does anyone else want to place an order, or are we good for now?" She asked sardonically, scanning and glaring from one person to another, as if she just dared them to answer it. Of course, some did.

"Nah, we're good," were most answers, but Dib had a much different one.

"Hey! Can I come?" He asked, pipqued interest clearly showing as he walked towards Tak and Tarky.

"What?! That's stupid!" Replied Vick.

"Agreed. Your big head would only attract predators," replied Tak with annoyance.

"Aaawww~!" He moaned. "But, I'd be a great distraction!"

"NO!" Everyone else shouted at once.

"You don't listen, do you?!" Exclaimed Nessie.

"And besides, you don't even have a flash-light, and you'd get lost because you're nosy and wanna' poke your nose into everything! Then you'll trip and fall, and probably get eaten by a super-psychic rock, or something..." Vick waved a hand and trailed off, particularly sure that that could happen; at least, on this planet. The others just snickered as she said this.

"Yeah, you're a liabilty," agreed Vrilly. "Since your species is diurnal, you can't see very well in the dark, and she's probably trained for this kind of thing, since they said she's a soldier. Or something." She nodded towards the Almighty Tallest. They didn't answer, knowing full well that she was encoded as a Janitoral-drone; as that might have future implications of horribleness, once other things were revealed.

"That's true," stated Sploods, trying to give the impression that Vrilly was right.

"Though, 'Soldier' is generally just a form of address, especially to someone of lower rank," added Tallest Red, with a finger on his chin as if in thought. Tallest Purple felt like that didn't need to be said, but he didn't get the chance to tell him that.

"They're gone!" Exclaimed Dib with a bit of a moan.

"Why'd you want to go so bad in the first place?" Asked Vick.

"Well..." thought Dib, then he said the exact thing that she and Nessie had been thinking it was, "I wanted to see what this place looked like at night!" They both moaned, and then Lasch-mik and Lard-nar giggled.

"What?!" Asked Nessie, slightly annoyed at being left out of the joke.

"He's just like Poopopsy!" Snickered Lasch-mik.

"You're right!" Laughed Lard-nar. "He's _exactly_ like him!"

"Who's Poopopsy? Wait, is he one of your brothers?" Asked Shloonktapooxis, whom the author had briefly forgotten about. So sorry, especially because he's one of my favorites~!

"One of my many siblings, yes," replied Lard-nar the a wave of a finger. "...Although, some of them died in lab-accidents...and that whole, 'uprising' thing in the new prisons...and the catwalk incident...!"

Lasch-mik then proceeded to smack him for reminding her about it. "What have I told you?!" Lard-nar ducked his head and apologized for that. "As you can see, we Vortians need to reproduce quickly for a reason...!"

"_Hence_ the Electro-uterine Trees, which grow wormlins approximately 85.23 times faster than a normal Uterine Tree." Added Lard-nar, just in case Dib or the others had wanted an answer to that. They hadn't; Dib wasn't listening, as he was currently wondering why in the heck Tak was mad at him, and the others just didn't care.

"You don't need to say 'approximately' when you state the decimal points," commented his mother once again. Lard-nar just sighed and refrained from saying that it was out of habit. He pouted and turned away, all that more interested in a bunch of rocks outside the edge of the fire.

"Man, why'd I have to be stuck back here?" Mumbled Dib to himself. He sat down on a nearby rock and ignored the rest as he muttered. "Tak is mad at me, and I'm bored...she'd probably just yell if I was with them, anyways... *Sigh* If at least my _cousins_ were here, then that'd be something!"

He smirked as he reminded himself of those fun times, hopping the fourth dimension from an explosion in Zim's lab, annoyingly being dragged into an evening parkour excursion, among other stuff. He snickered as he remembered Chewie and Pookie annoying Mr. Campion with all those questions. He didn't even have to open his mouth for them! They'd done it _for_ him!

_(A/N: Score one for a mention of fun British detective shows, like Campion!)_

"What's wrong with him?" Asked Agent Nessie. Dib's usually-inquisitive head was silent and rather pensive all of the sudden. And then he'd started laughing!

"I want to know what's the joke!" Shlooktapooxis said with excitement.

"Yeah...sudden, mysterious laughing is not normally a good sign..." Mumbled Ploopoh. Everyone stared at Dib, who was staring out at the edge of the campsite, giggling.

"Anyone wanna' go check and see what his head's made of?" Asked Sploods hopefully. The two Tallest concurred with a nod of their heads.

"That sounds like a mystery your 'Swollen Eyeballs' can solve!" Added Throbulator with a laugh.

"No one could possibly figure that one out!" Replied Nessie, leaning back with a stretch. Man! He wanted to go to bed, but it just wasn't happening tonight. Especially not when the sky wasn't covered in clouds... It was just bright enough to see, but not as bright as the cloudy day-time sky.

"Well, it's not as if we haven't been trying," replied Vick with a smirk.

"Okay, I'll go and check," replied Ploopoh. Dib apparently hadn't heard this little exchange, and continued in his own little world. Ploopoh walked over to him.

"Well, there's nothing on the back side..." Stated Ploopoh, causing Dib to practically jump out of his skin in fright.

"WHAHHH!" He exclaimed. "Wh-WHAT ARE YOU DOING, sneaking up BEHIND ME like that!?"

"We were just curious as to why you were giggling insanely all by yourself~!" Replied Ploopoh with a slight bit of a grin. Just a slight one.

"Well, yeeesh! It's not as if I'd have to be _insane_ to giggle to myself! I just missed my cousins...!" Replied Dib as he gasped for breath.

"Who?" Asked Vrilly, now interested as to who in the heck could make someone smile in a horrible situation like such as they were in right now.

"My cousins, Chewie, Pookie and Vannin! They're, uh, on my mom's side of the family," explained Dib, a bit sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head. It's not like they were used to talking about their family to the public -his dad's popularity made that kind-of a bad thing to do too much of. "Anyways, they, uh, don't live on the same continent as we do, and so I don't really get to see them much. But, we spent some time together over the summer, and that was great!" He laughed some more. "Heh heh, goood tiiiimes...!"

"Oh, okay, well, that makes sense." Nodded Nessie in comprehension.

"Wait..your mom's side of the family? Wasn't your mother...sucked into a dimensional potal-experiment all those years ago?... What was her name again...?" Vick paused with a finger on her chin.

"Where's Topi when you need 'im?!" Mumbled Starky. The other aliens nodded at that. The humans didn't quite pay attention to this as they focused on their own conversation. Dib had walked over to sit down by them, and they continued conversing, almost as if they were in their own little world...horrible pun to make with aliens and alien worlds, I know~! Hee hee hee!

"Yeah, an' Dad works himself silly trying to recreate the exact conditions to bring her back again." Dib said, not bothering to volunteer his mother's name; since learning the reason for their secrecy, he'd decided that mentioning his link to a monster family was not the best of ideas... Although, could it really cause problems this far away from home?! He wondered this as Agent Nessie continued his conversation.

"Heh, I know: those I-D P-T experiments never quite end up like they're supposed to...!" Nessie tried to laugh, a bit nervously, but couldn't quite seem to do it. Talking about this subject was already in major Awkward Land, not to mention that there were several aliens listening in on it!

"Ten scientists and counting," nodded Dib with a slight bit of a smirk. "Everyone has to sign a waiver to work on it!" The other two just nodded and smirked nervously at that. Apparently he wasn't nervous about the subject; but that didn't mean that they weren't! The aliens, of course, weren't nervous about it at all.

"Well, it's not as if he can get around to EVERY planet that does dimensional experiments!" Lard-nar was mentioning.

"Well, yeah~! But, why not? I mean, why doesn't he at least recruit some other people or something?!" Lasch-mik was shouting in annoyance. The others who were listening in just nodded in agreement. "I mean, it's a lot better, and he'd get a lot more done, when you think about it!"

"Sure, but Topi's always emphasised that he doesn't want anyone else to suffer the same fate he does," stated Sploods reasonably. The Almighty Tallest nodded at this. "So he just leaves it at that. Well, maybe no one else really could survive without a miracle!..." He was saying, just as Dib's head perked up at their alternate conversation.

"Hey! What are you guys talking about?!" Dib exclaimed, his head whipping around. The term "miracle" and the words "dimensional experiments" seemed to have caught his attention; in more ways than one! And he was curious to see whether or not any aliens had had the same, or even similar, experiences with dimensional-transferrence as he had.

The aliens seemed like they were caught red-handed as they paused, wondering whether they should mention it. Then Lard-nar spoke up and ruined it. "Dimensional experiments; the same as you!" Sploods hit him -not hard- and then sighed before speaking.

"There's an Irken who can travel through dimensions, called 'Topi'. He was also stuck there during an ancient dimensional experiment. Anyways, he usually tries to stop various peoples from performing any dimensional experiments because of what happened to him. Well, obviously he hasn't made it around to your planet, yet."

"AND he helps people out!" Added Ploopoh, with a finger in the air.

"Yeah, that guy's cool!" Agreed Shloonktapooxis, with a smile and his tongue hanging out.

"An Inter-dimensional Traveller?!" Asked Vick skeptically.

"AND he can help people out!?" Exclaimed Dib in shock. "Wow! That's amazing! HEY! Maybe, we can use that same dimensional-transferrence trick to contact him and maybe even get him to help my mom!"

Everyone just stared at him in surprise.

"...Mmm...what?" Asked Vrilly.

"I agree..." Added Agent Nessie.

"What the heck?!" Vick added her two-cents in.

"*Sigh* Well, it's really quite simple: you see, when an object has a particular...attachment...with a person, or, rather, they have an attachment to that object, it can create a bridge which spans a dimensional plane. That's something I experienced first-hand, and I think that it's also one of those reasons why people and places can be haunted by ghosts! Anyways, when I was-" Dib's comment was interrupted before he could spill any unnecessary beans which might've advanced things before anyone else was ready!

"Woah, woah, wait a minute!..." Said Vick, "We know what it IS, what we want to know is HOW COME you sound so FAMILIAR WITH IT!"

"*Sigh*!" Dib said, once again exhausperated that no one was listening. He grit his teeth, "Al_right_, allow me to start at the beginning...!" Once he was sure that he had everyone's attention, he then said, "I managed to talk with my mom this one time, when I was-" He was thankfully interrupted again, this time by Agent Nessie.

"You mean you actually SPOKE with Professor Gazira!?" He exclaimed, having finally remembered her name. Dib stared at him, wishing that people would shut up while he was explaining things; and also hoping that stating her name wouldn't cause all kinds of horrifying things to happen to them.

"YES!... Now, _please_!" Dib started, but he was interrupted once again.

"Woah, woah, she was still alive?! How?! I mean, are you sure she wasn't just a ghost?!" Asked Vick skeptically. Dib pouted and waited as if he expected more comments, but none came.

"As I was SAYING!" He shouted, "I don't KNOW HOW she was alive, but believe me, I KNOW what ghosts feel like, and she was NOT a ghost!"

"How could you be sure? I mean, what if that's what you wanted to believe?!" Stated Nessie, for once even taking Vick's side.

"BECAUSE! If she was a ghost, then I'd probably have HAD STINKIN' ICE DREAMS! OKAY!?" Shouted Dib. "HEY,_ BELIEVE_ ME, WHEN A GHOST ENTERS YOUR MIND, IT'S _COLD_, ALRIGHT!?"

"Alright, alRIGHT! Sheesh!" Said Vick, waving her hands, "Just calm down! It's not like we know anything about this; we just wanted some answers!"

"Then you could've LET ME FINISH TELLING YOU ABOUT IT!" Stated Dib plainly. "Sheesh! It's always like this! Why doesn't anyone ever let me SPEAK!?"

"Because, your orative abilities are lacking, and your tone is sort-of monotone," replied Ploopoh helpfully.

"You also come off as an over-excited little kid," added Lasch-mik. Lard-nar looked at her skeptically.

"What, he IS an over-excited little kid!" The others laughed.

"Alright, PSHFINE! I'm not a professional speaker! AND I actually happen to LIKE what I'm TALKING ABOUT! So what?!" Replied Dib, waving a hand around. "I mean, what does _that_ have to do with why people don't listen?!"

"Wow, you _really_ fail at social-skills, don't you?" Vick pointed out, both literally and figuratively.

"Well, not that lack of social-skills ever stopped anyone else from making themselves heard," added Nessie with a finger on his chin. "But, uhhh...yeah; most people don't view a little kid pointing out unusual things and shouting as someone with a good reason to point and shout at something."

"...Riiight... Well, the minute they start making something like, 'Social Viridity School' mandatory, I'm sure everyone will have no good reason _not_ to listen to me-" started Dib, then, he held up a finger and added, "Because it's _obviously_ really _rude_ to interrupt someone when they're speaking, just to ask a lot of questions that they were going to explain to you during their speech!" _(A/N: More Ranklechick references that you can shake a stick at!)_

Some of the aliens snickered and Ploopoh said, "Well, he's got you!"

"Oooh, BURN!" Exclaimed Shloonktapooxis jovially.

"Hee hee hee, this is funny," mentioned Tallest Purple, "It almost makes up for the lack of snacks and stuff, you know?" He turned to the other Tallest and smiled at him.

The other Tallest knew an attempt to make him angry when he saw one...and promptly obliged. "That's not a good thing!" Then he whispered, "You know, I'm seriously starting to wish...that thing...again."

"Oh, come on~!" Replied Tallest Purple with a slight grin, "You eventually got your own clothes and stuff back~!" His nonsensical reply was loud enough for others to look over with some slight amusement at that. Tallest Red just frowned and snarled at him. That wasn't what he'd meant.

"Alright, THAT'S IT!" He shouted, punching the other Tallest. Tallest purple just laughed and laughed as he dodged and punched back at him. It was like his favorite type of entertainment, and his boredom had just unleashed a spirited, immature smeet from within his armored PAK.

"Well...!" Stated Lasch-mik, unamusedly, as they watched the leaders of an intergalactic empire beat each other up just for sheer lack of other things to occupy their minds.

"That's just weird..." added Lard-nar.

"Do they always do that?" Asked Starky to Sploods with concern. "'Cause that's like the second time they've done that."

"*Sigh* Yes. Almost always: when there's nothing any better to do, or snacks to enjoy." Sploods explained as he hung his head. Then he thought about it and mumbled under his breath, "It's almost always Tallest Purple who initiates it...!" Ploopoh heard this, and was about to comment on it, but then he heard someone else speak up, and promptly logged it away for a later time to talk about.

"When will Tak get back?..." Asked Clasps as she glanced off into the jungle worriedly. Everyone else's eyes followed her gaze.

"Well, whenever she does, let's hope she's in a better mood," mumbled Dib, barely audible to anyone except Nessie and Vick, whom he was sitting beside. Vick almost snickered; but she managed to control her mirth and think about sobering thoughts whilest everyone else mused...

* * *

END CHAPTER 2

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Aaand we're continuing on the Author's notes! *Laughs* Say cheese! You're on...NOT-so-Candid Camera!

The made-up species were fun to make! Actually, only THREE are really shown in the series, which I'll have a picture of up on my DA page as well...! Sos, go ahead and check it out! Just click on my profile, and click the DA linky, and they should be in my gallery! (You wouldn't _believe_ how lazy people get online, and this stinkin' site makes it IMPOSSIBLE to direct such lazy peoples to the ARTWORK! *Sighs*)

I really believe that the happy, friendly, Huffer-haut species (that Vrilly is one of) is my absolute FAVORITE, but I may be wrong~!

The blob-woman...well, her idea WAS taken from Eric the blob, but she's a DIFFERENT kind of blob-species, totally different planet and everything! Sos...yeah! The only thing that I got from the show on that was the idea! (I mean, _seriously_? Not that inventive, blob-people...!)

But what I really enjoyed was the embarrassing alien biology and stories! *Laughs* I always hated it when other girls had their "Period Chats"... Wells, now we can all re-live the embarrassment: this time, with ALIEN FEMALES' BIOLOGY! Oooh! I should think up some more stuff for the others, right?! *Runs off* I'M OFF TO EMBARRASS THE MALES AND TARKY~! TALLY-HOOOOOOOOO!


	3. More Space-pussy-cats Than You Can Shake

DISCLAIMER: I don't own it, no matter how much money I attempt to bribe them with!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This chapter has stuff happening!... Or not...! But, mainly just some fun introductions and stuff!

We get to find out more about these crazy characters, and some not-so-crazy stuff about them...well, at the very least, the movie-deal won't be entirely forgotten...!

Anyways, there's no shortage to how much Tak and Dib are annoying each other~! Sos, that's bound to be fun, isn't it?!

I must apologize for the wordiness of some of this. I'd been reading Robinson Crusoe, and it is SO LONG AND DRAINING WITH ITS WORDINESS, AND ALL THE RUN-ON-AND-ON-AND-ON SENTENCES; THE KARAMASOV BROTHERS DIDN'T DRAG ON AS LONG AS THIS! (Enter more rant and a reference to Weird Al Yankovick.)

Sos, an extra thank-yous, to all of my readers who have been waiting this long for the new chapter's update~! I hope that I can get to the end of this awesome adventure with Dib and Tak...AH! That's the name! The name for this series of fan-fictions should be,

"Dib and Tak's Awesome Adventure"! *Laughs*

Anyways, you all know the drill~! Read and Review~! Pretty-please!

* * *

**CHAPTER 3: "You never told me you were...oh, OH, EWW, OHHH! OOOOOOHHHHH *Other screams of horror* AAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH!"**

* * *

Tak and Tarky were making their way around the camp-site cautiously, Tarky occasionally peering down to pick up a few plants that he spotted. Other than the obvious terror that accompanied such an endeavor, and the odd smells and noises in the dark, things were relatively alright. Tak almost sighed as she caught a few stray moans from Dib's side of their shared psychic-link and tried to stuff it back down into her throat. Tarky caught her disturbed look, and spoke up about it.

"I, ah, wanted to say thank-you again, for, uh...helping me with this." As he picked up a few plants, he put them into his palms and absorbed them. "If there's anything you, ah, want to talk about, don't worry about me blabbing it..." His offer for confidence was weird, but reassuring. Even still, Tak just couldn't accept it.

"Just pay attention to looking for your plants and flowers," she snapped. She knew full-well he was just offering kindness, but, "I don't want to talk to anyone about it, and you'd be much better off not knowing, anyhow..."

"You know, bearing everything by yourself can get awfully...lonely." Tarky was indeed a perceptive kind of Irlikiun. They usually tended to mind their own business, anyhow. But at the very least, he wasn't an idiot. This Tarky, however, wasn't aware of exactly what she was bearing, all alone, by herself.

"Don't worry, I'm used to it," she said, but wasn't snapping at this. It just wasn't necessary to say. "I'll need to return to the camp-site to monitor the perimeter. So get everything you can and hurry it up." Tarky just stared at her iron, glaring exterior and almost smiled; but decided against it.

"Yes, Sir!" He said, saluting very stoically. Whether that was actually meant to make her laugh or not, one couldn't say, but the very idea of an Irlikiun being used as anything in an army or military just made her inwardly laugh. She kept her face steady as she considered what a giant splat he'd make once he was thrown against an enemy! _(A/N: Tarky's species is now called "Irliki". He's an "Irlikiun". They're gloopy! Pronounced: "Ur-lick-ey", and "Ur-lick-ee-un")_

Well, after all, there was a reason why most of their species didn't fight...like the others fought. Gloopy-looking aliens just didn't fit in well with armor or sharp metals...! She almost laughed as she looked around.

There was an odd sound...almost like a wail or a howl... She suddenly remembered that she was supposed to be keeping an eye on their surroundings, and she was stuck guarding the gloopy-looking Irlikiun from certain gloopy-ness and death...! She still wanted to laugh at that, but the tension around them was building.

"I'm sorry, but we've got to go back," she said to Tarky as he bent down to pick up more arklinium flowers.

"What- is it-" he said, but stopped as he saw something flitting through the trees above their heads. There was a slight bit of wind, where there had been no wind, nor breeze, ever since they got there.

"Yes, and that's exactly-" she turned to stab an attacking thing which looked like a strange black shape, "Why I was sent out here- with you!" She whacked another strange thing away which looked like a black version of a demented rabbit. On steroids. Only two foot long, and MEAN. "Come on, let's get out of here!"

"Cool! I mean, 'Yes, Sir!'" Agreed Tarky, almost forgetting his "joke, but not a joke" in the process as he followed her.

A rustling and sharp shouting followed by the sounds of laser-blasts came from the nearby forest. The two who'd gone out to look for food for Tarky were suddenly back, screaming and shouting that everybody should run for shelter. The few that were by the fire and had their wits about them grabbed some flaming sticks and tried waving them at the two's accompanying disaster.

That disaster instantly transformed into weird balls of popping things -strangely reminiscent of sparklers- yet with an almost plant-like resemblance. They were beaten back into the forest when someone -Ploopoh- decided they could kick them. The "kicking of the weird little bunny-shaped things which had turned into plant-like sparklers' butts back into the jungle" became a weird sort of game, and the Almighty Tallest enjoyed watching the others compete as they rooted for them. Whom or whoever they were rooting for was unknown, but it added that level of, "Ballgame" fun to the life-and-death terror that had befallen them. Tarky seemed exhausted, but didn't look like he wanted to try the jungle again any time soon. And Tak just looked ticked, as she always was ever since they'd gotten stranded on this horrible alien planet.

"Well...!" Starky blinked after they'd finally all settled down, "Anyone wanna' sit down and swap stories?"

The others glared at him, but said nothing. They'd really just about had it with this place. And it was only going to get worse, from the way they figured it... If they didn't do anything, they'd just end up being swallowed up!

"ALL RIGHT!" Said Tallest Red suddenly, "Group Strategy meeting!" He was banging a part of a rock with a stick, and it looked for all the world like he was actually leading or something. The others just stared until he glared at them.

"Well?! You heard what he said! He said 'ALRIGHT'!" Shouted Tallest Purple, shocking them out of their obvious reveries about why in the heck the Almighty Tallest were actually leading or something. So far as they knew, they never really went out of their way to do anything unless it was absolutely necessary! Tallest Purple soon put an end to that. But that was later. As for right now...

The rest of them almost jumped as they sat up a little bit straighter and paid attention. Anyone who had an idea about them taking control promptly kept it to themselves as Tallest Purple spoke again, "Okay, now, let's start! The strategy meeting...we should begin with..." Tallest Red naturally finished his sentence.

"The first thing we need to do is identify the key problems we're faced with. Number One: Food. As you can see, although we searched and searched all over this horrible jungle, we still didn't get enough food to tide us over for one night! Let alone for one day! So, we'll have to arrange some sort of regular 'Food Gathering' thing. Number 2..." Tallest Purple interrupted him and finished his sentence.

"Number Two is, WHO'S going to protect us?! We've only got three qualified soldiers here, and though I'd love to help, I'm a Tallest, and therefore I'm not allowed to...*mumble grumble*..." Tallest Purple trailed off into pouty grumplings, and Tallest Red had to finish his sentence.

"Number Three is, ah...well, we're all gonna' need to clean ourselves at some point, even if it's just to scrape the grime off...what can we use to do that with?" He put a finger on his chin and thought for a moment. "Oh, and we'll probably want to clean our clothes," he looked down at poor Sploods, whose uniform had been sacrificed for ease of movement. "Or maybe even replace them...!"

Sploods gave him an annoyed look, but said nothing. Because, number one, that was his leader talking. And number two, he didn't have any room for complaint when they were in such dire straits.

"Hhhmmm...I can't think of anything else... Hey! Can any of you guys think of anything?!" Tallest Purple said as he mused with Red over their options.

Since everyone else was annoyed at this current predicament and wasn't in the mood to come up with anything else, they all shook their heads and mumbled various sorts of "no"s. Starky took it upon himself to respond for all of them, "Nope, not that we can think of!" The Almighty Tallests Purple and Red regarded them glaringly until they finally resigned to it.

"Alright, then! First order of business, the Food!" Shouted Tallest Purple, "Who's got any good ideas? Come on, anybody who wants to eat had better respond quickly! Or else it's every alien for himself!" Tallest Red poked him in the armoured guts and then responded.

"THAT'S another way of saying that we'd be pleased if you'd stop staring there like a bunch of brainless maggeta-maggogs and start helping!" Tallest Purple added his two cents in with a "Yeah!" and Tallest Red continued, "Although _she's_ aiming to be an Invader, I doubt that Tak will be able to protect everyone here from _death_ by _stupidity_ -so start helping!"

"Throbulator! Has something," stated said Throbulator as he stood up, saluting for what was probably the first time since they'd landed here. "Crystal and I..." he looked around a bit for Crystal before getting a bit of a nod from her to continued, "Are fully-trained soldiers! We can accompany anyone during their search for food." They weren't really with their designated troops, but apparently they still qualified as a part of the Irken Military, so...yeah.

"So why didn't you say something in the _first_ place!?" Exclaimed Lasch-mik suddenly, "Instead of having Tak do all the work!"

"...Uh...not too sure...I usually just wait for orders." Was Throbulator's only reply. The others let out an aggravated sigh.

"I didn't realize they were soldiers until we got to talking about our jobs, so it really wasn't their fault," replied Sploods calmly. "And besides, we really didn't need it until Tak and Tarky had to go look for food."

"ALRIGHT! That's it!" Shouted Tallest Red, snapping his stick, "Everyone, state your names, species, abilities, and positions, NOW! Otherwise, we won't have any idea what's going on here!"

"Well...I'm Vick, I'm a human from Earth, and my abilities include investigation of mysterious stuff and arts and crafts. I'm currently unemployed, but I used to work in a clothing-store." Vick was the first to reply. Hey, it was scary when those violent aliens got angry!

"I'm Ploopoh, a Babblian from the planet Communicatia, and my abilities include listening to more than one conversation at once, and communication in more than forty languages, without the help of an Intergalactic Translator or these cybernetic implants. I'm a Communications Drone." Ploopoh was next, not missing a beat with his addition.

"Oh! And I speak a little bit of Espanyol," Vick added quickly after his comment. _(A/N: "Espanyol" is Spanish. You know. Just to be lazy and silly.)_

"I speak Espanyol, Eenglish, and Targe`t fluently, and I'm especially good at noticing things. ...Oh! And, my dad apparently did a little experiment on me to make me stronger and faster than a normal human, so, uh...yeah. I'm from Earth, too, obviously. I, uh, don't really have a 'job' 'cause I'm still in skool, but I work for the Swollen Eyeballs investigating supernatural mysteries, and I'm also working with Tak to take down Zim...and expose him, preferably, in front of hordes of news-crews...yeah...that'd be awesome!..." Dib apparently couldn't observe the rather weird looks he was getting, and Tak had to physically face-palm. Just because she was too far away to actually hit him! Wait, she could _mentally_ do it...! "And, uhm...what? Why is everybody staring at me like that?!" He finally became aware of what was going on around him.

"Oh, no, nothing...! It's just that you seem to keep getting more and more interesting with each passing moment..." Agent Nessie responded quite tactfully, and Dib really couldn't understand why until Tak poked him about it. Then his eyes widened, and he was about to make a rather clumsy attempt at back-peddling before Lard-nar asked a question.

"Your own father performed an experiment on you?!" He asked incredulously. As if it even needed to be asked.

"Well, uh...yeah! I mean, he _is_ a scientist! He did it pre-utero, of course: it was a for his "Ultimate Human" Genetic Manipulation project... Why do you ask?" Dib replied matter-of-factly; with all he'd been through lately, this seemed like the most sane and normal of things he could relate.

"And your mother _agreed_ to that?!" Asked Vick with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, of course! She's Professor Gazira, she_ worked_ on it! Pssh! She even insisted on _not_ using an artificial-womb, to avoid any extra complications that could arise from that!" Replied Dib with a roll of his eyes. He couldn't believe they were even asking that. It was before her disappearance -how could his dad work ALONE on that?! She would've KILLED him -or at least seriously wounded him- if he'd done that!

"That's...a good idea, I guess...!" Replied Nessie thoughtfully. He really couldn't think of anything else to say at that moment.

"Are you SURE your parents aren't Vortians?" Asked Lard-nar, earning a small laugh from everybody else who knew something about Vortians.

The Almighty Tallests cleared their throats, and Ploopoh said, "Uh, I believe we should get back to the task at hand," while he pointed.

"Oh! Right, uh..." said Nessie, trying to remember where they left off, "Well, ah, as I'm the last of the humans I'll go next...! I'm from planet Earth, and, uhm..." He was interrupted by someone.

"What's your name?" Asked Ploopoh, reminding him of that dreaded sequence of events which he so loathed.

"...We-well, my fellow Swollen Eyeball members call-" He was cut off once more.

"NOT your code-name, your REAL name!" Exclaimed Vrilly, "Come on! We've all gotta' do it, now!"

"...I, uh...don't much like my real name, you see-!" He was cut off by Dib and Vick booing him, and everyone else joined in.

"Boo! Boo!"

"No fair!"

"Make him take his shoes and shirt off if he doesn't tell us!"

"_We_ had to do it!"

"...Then we'll TICKLE HIM TO DEATH while we do it!"

"Oh, okay! ALRIGHT! But, uh...only if you PROMISE not to laugh at me! Okay?!" Replied Nessie in exasperation.

"Finally!" Replied Ploopoh, leaning in to whisper towards Lard-nar, "Comments like that almost _always_ come before a really hilarious revelation~!" Lard-nar didn't say anything, but he did agree.

"Ahm...it's...!" He'd trailed off again, and everyone yelled at him to hurry it up. "Ah, well, you see, it's not really like it's a bad name, it's just...!"

"Stop being a wussy-space-puss and tell us!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple.

A giant space-kitty flew by. Shwoooooosssshhhh!

"Yeah, you've gotta' do it sooner or later -or we'll tickle it out of ya'!" Exclaimed Tallest Red as well. Everyone laughed even harder at that.

"What's the matter, didja get cold dorsal-limbs?!" Heckled Sploods; this caused Agent Nessie to finally give in.

"Alright, it's Bonnie Shaftoe Bluebell! YEGAUGH!" Agent Nessie, now known as Bonnie Shaftoe Bluebell, exclaimed, putting his hands on his head and waiting for the worst. It took a moment for the shock to get through, but both Dib and Vick instantly burst out laughing.

"Wh-whaugh! Bonnie's a GIRL'S name!" Shouted Vick as soon as she had a breath from laughing.

"You-you-!" Dib gasped for a breath, "Your last name's 'BLUEBELL'!" They continued laughing, getting a few nervous giggles from the rest of the aliens, who were also confused as to why exactly those names were so funny. They glanced back and forth between them, but even Vrilly didn't fully understand the joke -though she was sure the word "bluebell" was the name of a flower.

"'N...! Now you see why I DON'T _LIKE_ IT," said Agent Nessie through gritted teeth. The other two would've replied with understanding, had they not been too busy trying to breathe.

"Uhhh...not that it's not, uh, funny...but could you two explain the joke...?" Asked Lard-nar. Then, when none of them replied, he said, "Pretty-please?"

The Almighty Tallest had decided they'd had enough of this; if he wasn't going to explain the joke, then they might as well move on to someone else! "Hey! Everyone~! Moving on!" Shouted Tallest Purple, but he was ignored once again. He always hated it when that happened. Tallest Red was always more imposing, unless Purple was wielding a dangerous weapon...he wanted his halsstaffs...why couldn't he use his favorite halsstaffs when they were stuck on an alien planet?!

"EVERYONE, SHUT-UP!" Shouted Tallest Red, gaining their attention. He gave a little look over at Tallest Purple, but he was too busy inwardly moaning about his lack of violent stuffs to do to notice him. "Wonderful." Stated Tallest Red when they'd all but calmed their giggling Earth-mouths. "If you're not going to make jokes everyone can understand, let's move on to the next person! YOU!" He suddenly shouted and pointed at Vrilly, "You're next!"

She suddenly jumped up, caught off-guard by this Almighty Tallets' intimidating nature, and all but shouted, "Yes! Ah, ah, I'm Vrilly, of course, and I'm from the planet Haus. I'm a communi-marketer, aka 'Cheese Pusher', in a handy little restaurant called, 'The Marigetti's Love'. Come on by if you're in the area and can actually stomach Chisee's food. Or, if we can ever get off this insane rock!" Vrilly just rolled her eyes. There was a moment's pause before she was reminded of the other questions.

"What about your abilities? Or position...?!" Reminded Tallest Purple.

"Or maybe even just what languages you can speak or your favorite pastimes?" Added Sploods sardonically, since that seemed to be what everybody else was doing. Tallest Red glared down at him, but didn't punish him for it.

"Oh! And, I'm only fluent in my own language; I know a little bit of the Throbulorintit's language, but that's it." She gave a little bit of a nod and a look towards Throbulator, as that was the name of his species. The Throbulorintits. "I know a little bit about camping and stuff, but I'm not that good at alien planets. I've only camped on Poofs and the planet Torinton-er, I mean! Head Cheesia..." She looked at bit nervous at the Almighty Tallest, but they didn't seem to care that other aliens still used old names for their conquered planets -even if the Throbulorintits' planet had been conquered over a hundred years prior!

Throbulator certainly didn't care; his home planet of Head Cheesia (now the Empire's foremost producer of Cheeses of all kinds) was quite well-known for its Curdled Caves and Holey-moldey-moon-paths. Many people wanted to go camping there. They said that the smell of the Curdled Caves was good for fungus-scenters. Or something-a-ruther.

"And...that's all," ended Vrilly when she realized that everyone was still staring at her. The others nodded and then looked back towards the Tallest, hoping they'd point someone else out.

"Next..." Tallest Red rubbed his chin as he looked. When it seemed he was taking too long, Tallest Purple chose.

"Him! The Throbulorintits!" He pointed to Throbulator, who snapped to attention and stood up, saluting.

"I am THROBULATOR!" He shouted, then said, "I am a THROBULORINTITS, from the planet Head Cheesia! And I am only fluent in Throbulorintits. I am a soldier in the Alien Division of the Irken Military, troop Block-lick! Registration number Wooeelack." The Tallest instantly "Oooh"ed at this. "I have survived Hobo 13 with ten out of twenty Warkicks, and I am currently charged with Cheeck-laser-gun duty, during the event of a full-scale invasion from the Plocklickep Front." The Almighty Tallests and all the others who knew what he meant seemed reasonably impressed by this, Sploods even clapping.

"I'll go next!" Stated Crystal, eager to show off her own merits. "I'm Crystal, a Mineralalien of the planet Pingia! I am only fluent in the Mineralaliens' Ping-ping language, and I am also a soldier in the Alien Division of the Irken Military, Troop Eeek-lick. Registration number Reraarrr! I have also survived Hobo 13, with only eleven Warkicks; but I am in the Meekrob Security Empire Defensive-regroup, charged with defending against them in the event that the current skirmishes turn into an intergalactic war -again. I'll do whatever it takes to get us out of here, Sirs." She then sat down again, and Throbulator started to snicker a little, teasing her.

"'Do whatever it takes', huh?" He said quietly. It was remarkable how quiet he could be when he wanted to. It also helped that they were sitting right next to each other.

"'Plocklickep', ehy?" She replied, poking him in the side with her elbow. They both continued snickering at their inside joke.

As these two were giggling like little school-children, the Almighty Tallest continued. "You!" Pointed Tallest Purple, "You're next!" He sounded a bit bored now, for some reason. The person he'd picked suddenly hopped up, as if his life depended on it. Well, most likely, it probably did~!

"My name is Starky, Ambassador to the Crstl-ine people, of the planet Donk-dlonks... I'm not very useful for life-and-death stuff, uh...sorry!" Starky rubbed the back of his head apologetically. "But, I do speak three languages: Crstl-ine, Ouuiglleuh, and Immimpimp. I can sing pretty-well, although that won't come in handy here on this horrible planet...oh! I guess the main reason why I was picked as an Ambassador is because I'm pretty-good at convincing people to do stuff. Well, my own people will mainly need the convincing...! Yeh, it's not like it really requires any abilities to be an Ambassador...er, I can't say that about every Ambassador, of course..." He'd trailed off when he noticed the Almighty Tallest were glaring at him for bragging about his cushy position. "That, and I'm tall. Eh...yeah..." With that said, he sat down.

'What a weird way to end that introduction,' thought Clasps just before she was called on to go next.

"What's this obsession with height?" Vick whispered, leaning over towards Vrilly once again. Vrilly nervously half-laughed, but pointed to the Tallest to remind her to pay attention and to stop asking questions that could possibly get her thrown out at air-lock -er, into the jungle...!

"Well, I'm Clasps, of the Weegle-weegle people, of the planet Weegily-woogily Woonk-woonk! I speak Woogle-woogledey, as well as Amampomphs and Donk." The others seemed impressed with the last one she listed. "I can sing -only a little, just in chorus-lines- and dance, as well as operate a Velocitating Varvantuarr, with a degree in Sparp-shoothing and professional Secretarial Work. I currently work as a dancer, in the 'Porp is our Parp' Company Dancing Troop." Everybody seemed to have their jaws on the ground; and with good reason!

"Wha- what kind of dance?" Asked Vrilly, the first one to regain her speech after the amazing revelation of diverse skill-sets.

Clasps seemed a bit shy as she blushed a pale-yellow color and said, "Professional Squeezey Skoopzs."

There was a round of, "Oooh"s as the others were considerably impressed. Apparently it was like being told that someone is a professional Russian Ballet dancer or something.

"What's that?" Asked Vick, raising a hand up. She'd been holding out for as long as she could, but in the interests of alien dances, she just couldn't resist asking this one question. "I mean, that dance. What kind of dance is it?"

"Well..." Began Ploopoh, wondering how they were going to explain it. Tallest Purple seemed to have the answer to that.

"It's like seriously hard and awesome! They're all like, 'swoosh'! And a 'whooosh'!" He made motions with his hands. Tallest Red corrected him for it, though.

"You always confuse Squarmpzeyzs with Squeezey Skoopzs!" He moaned, poking Purple in the forehead.

"But, but they _do_ do that in the Squeezey Skoopzs!" He contorted, trying to get away from Tallest Red's hand as he retorted back to him. "That's what all the really awesome Squeezey Skoopzs do, anyways!"

"It's a very high-class dance-form," added Sploods helpfully.

"It's generally pretty tough to get into it, and even harder to get out without dying or something, and the competition is phooh-phoosdles!" Added Lard-nar as he sat there boredly, with his hand supporting his head.

"Oh, so it's like Ballet or something," replied Agent Nessie, who has refused to be called, in any way, shape, or form, by his real name of "Bonnie Shaftoe Bluebell"; even if it's in the Author's Notes. Like any loving creator, I'll ignore his wishes occasionally as I either see fit, or can't remember it. Anyways, back to the regular narrative~!

"Huh, I guess that's close enough," replied Vrilly, who'd now scooted closer again to Vick so that she could poke her in case she said anything else potentially suicidal. She nodded as if she was thinking about how that could make sense.

"NOW, back to the subject!" Exclaimed Sploods, hopeful that they wouldn't tick their leaders off any sooner than they could hope to get off of the insane rock, as Vrilly had so quaintly put it before during her comments.

"Oh, okay! Uh...wait a minute, let's see...who's next?!" The Almighty Tallest Purple seemed snapped for the moment out of his boredness reverie, and was pointing to everyone, looking perplexed. The Almighty Tallest Red took control once more.

"Let's have, eh...you!" Tallest Red pointed to Lasch-mik, and everyone turned to look at her. She stood up and decided to relate the most important parts of her own life's story in addition to all of the requested information. She sure knew how to tick off her alien overlords while still working within the system! As she cleared her throat, Lard-nar rolled his eyes, unseen behind his goggles, and tried to get more comfortable while sitting by the fire. Shloonktapooxis seemed to recognize why, but didn't do much but look in the opposite direction, as if observing the soil-monster-skeleton-cave's wall. Ploopoh also seemed to pick up on this, and tried to brace himself for something long and congenial, and on the whole, wordy!

Lasch-mik ignored her son's obvious, insignificant warning-signs, and instead said, "My name is Lasch-mik, and I'm a Vortian, from Planet Vort. I speak over forty-four different languages, forty-two of them fluently, including Irken, the Poo-pohnian's language, and-" she was immediately interrupted by the Almighty Tallest, who were sensing the pattern here.

"Nevermind naming them all! Just tell us your abilities and position!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple, while Tallest Red and he waved their hands in desperate hopes that she would obey. Well, her son was the leader of the Resisty, so...hopefully she wasn't as keen on the idea of 'resisting Operation Impending Doom II', and wouldn't bore them to death with her horrifyingly-long list of known languages. Hopefully, she would also refrain from boring them to death with her horrifyingly-long list of unknown languages, as well. And more importantly, that she'd just get on with it already! Author's annoying notes aside...

"Of course," Lasch-mik replied, although she had seemed to pout. "I used to work in the Medical facilities as a Med-testing Victim, but I also later graduated to the level of Food-testing Foodian, and then later on worked in Medical Directives as a Lab Assistant, set on deciding when and why we couldn't allow certain things to happen, and under what protocols we'd be working. Then, when I'd finished my Medical Directives Dirivitive Professor's Course, I was given the title of a full-fledged Medicine Professor, and after I was married to Papoosh, who was a Professor of Dodging Armours at that time, and had my first case of pods cracked-"

The humans were confused, Dib looking hopefully over at Lard-nar or Ploopoh for some answers, and Agent Nessie just sat back, already accustomed to waiting for his answers. Vick leaned over to Vrilly for a quick definition of what "first case of pods cracked" meant, and was rewarded with the confirmation that it had, in fact, meant having children. Lasch-mik was still continuing her dissertation on herself.

"-had become a Language Professor, and so I was left with only my one assistant, Arsheritan, who was with me up until my third semester in Coolantage, and when we'd all graduated from there, we went to a Pori-porridge-tent, but just to work: not to enjoy the other fine things about that Courtinia's establishment, and-" The Tallest had finally given up on hoping that it would ever end, and finally just screamed and grasped their heads with their two long fingers in exasperation.

"OH, WHEN OH WHEN WILL IT ALL END!?" Both Tallest Red and Purple shouted, so one couldn't quite tell which one of them had shouted it. Since she'd realized how much of a short attention-span they had, Lasch-mik finally decided to summarize it for them. She'd normally enjoy tormenting her superiors since they'd conquered her planet, (which was already questionable in a sense, because they'd been almost completely under Irken influence for many years,) but this was an odd planet, and getting along with them was, essentially, necessary.

"To sum it all up, I've had years of experience in Medical Science and Medicine, along with that brief little stunt I'd done in Medical Directives, as well as Test Subject placements and being a Test Subject, and I'll have you know that I have several years' uses in the Nursery and Nursing Glump-a-h-lumps for Vortian Nannies, and I'm fully competent and aware of any small Vortians' needs," she shot Dib a brief look, "Or annoying, big-headed kids' needs."

Tak snickered appreciatively, although she knew for a fact that Dib was not a little kid, technically- that just made it that much funnier!

"I am also well-aware of the current political and even rumored political standings, and I'm not one to make waves that would adversely affect my own species, unlike my wayward but well-meaning son." Lard-nar just bore this with a tough skin which meant that he was used to it. Shloonktapooxis wasn't.

"Well, that was mean!" He said as he floated. Lasch-mik glared at him in that glare that says that one should mind their own business, and he just stared blankly back. Seeing that he hadn't gotten the meaning, Lard-nar interrupted his, "What? What'd I say?!"

"Shut-up, she's not finished yet," replied Lard-nar, shushing him immediately. "And besides, it's not as bad as some other things she could've said."

"I appreciate your attempted defense of my character, Son: but next time, do it properly." Replied Lasch-mik with a dead-pan gaze over towards him, which caused Starky, Agent Nessie, Crystal, Clasps, Tarky, and Dib to giggle a little, and Shloonktapooxis to respond once again to her sharp reprimands.

"Ouch!"

Ploopoh had to even keep himself from smiling as Lasch-mik thankfully finished her summing-up. "All-in-all, I am not a Resisty member, nor am I a threat of any kind; and after retiring from my job of a Medical Trash Examiner for Future Medicinal Use of Filthiness last year, I am also unemployed, and living off of my husband's extra Expert Hyper-port Extraneonera." After she'd finished up, she sat down and everyone except the rather confuzzled humans wondered what kinds of Monies the Expert Hyper-port made, to make enough residuals for her to live off of.

Already, Vick was discussing it with Vrilly, "Wow. Not only am I confused, I'm also a little worried about asking what any of that meant." To which Vrilly very openly giggled.

"Fuh fuh...funny...!" Mumbled Tallest Purple as they once again tried to conduct the proceedings with a semblance of control.

"Next!..." Shouted Almighty Tallest Red, and promptly everyone jumped. "Since there're two Vortians, let's just do this poot's intro and get it over with!" He said as he pointed over towards Lard-nar. The said "poot" looked up with a slightly surprised look on his face, as if he'd paused in his mental cognitive abilities until his mother's commentary was finished, and was now suddenly shaken back into function beweilderingly-ahead-of-schedule. He glanced around before finally he stood up and replied to it.

"Uh...okay... *Achem* I'm sure you all know about me, I'm Lard-nar, from the planet Vort. And I can speak eighteen different languages, but only four of them fluently. As you may know, I used to work in the Military Research labs, in Vort Lab 9. Uu~uhhh...!" He shuddered as he remembered, "And, unfortunately, I had the supreme misfortune of being in the same Lab as that AWFUL IRKEN MENACE~! we all know so well." Everyone made equally-disgusted faces, some for different reasons, but all disgusted. "Aaand after that, *Sigh* when I'd finished my regular and mandatory 'Embarrassment and Destruction of the Lab Duty', I was just getting used to my new Research Maintenance assignment, when the Irken assigned to oversee Vort's Comfort and Lounging-around Laboratories actually conquered the planet!" An angry fist was waved towards the Irkens in front of him who regarded him coolly as they waited for him to go on.

"Well, that's about it..." said Lard-nar, although he wasn't completely off the hook yet. The Almighty Tallest called him out on it.

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Yelled Almighty Tallest Red, waving his arms in the air.

"If you used to work on Vort, then how'd you manage to escape when it was conquered!?" Asked Almighty Tallest Purple, pointing a long, pointy arm at him accusingly. The others all agreed, excited to hear an escape story...the Tallest especially, since it would involve calling up Invader Larb and giving him a Pummeling! Everyone razzed him until Lard-nar finally gave in.

"*Sigh* Oh, I guess I'll tell you...!" One action-packed escape sequence painfully-detailed in all its technical glory later, everyone stared in shock. "Now, as for my abilities, those include almost all of the technical sciences, except for Janitorial and Medicinal, and the Pyritinies...! And, I'm also the leader of the Resisty. Like you all already know...is that _every_thing?!"

Everyone started clapping and cheering and making other happy noises. "That was THE BEST STORY and the SECOND BEST ESCAPE SEQUENCE I've ever seen!" Exclaimed Agent Nessie, wiping a little tear from his eyes.

"That was awesome!" Exclaimed Shloonktapooxis. "The best part was when the Poopooh fairy went crazy with the weei-wigglehs!"

Clasps stared at him and calmly stated, "That wasn't in his story."

"No, but it SHOULD BE!" Exclaimed Ploopoh, and everyone laughed.

"HEY! I know! Let's make this escape story into a MOVIE!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple.

"But, that would be like making propaganda for the _Resisty's_ side!" Stated Sploods, hoping to reason with them.

"Yes, but it would also be making US Monies!" Replied Tallest Red, holding a finger up.

"Heh-heh-heh! Let's think up ways to turn that into a movie!" Laughed Tallest Purple, easily-amused by its violent elements.

"Aww-right! I wanna' play Spesh-speezia!" Exclaimed Shloonktapooxis, completely missing the "idea" element.

"Hey, yeah!" Exclaimed Agent Nessie.

"I say we make Vrilly the Director!" Exclaimed Vick with her hand raised.

"Okay, is anybody besides _me_ just a little bit disturbed by this sequence of events right now...?" Asked Lard-nar, staring around at the group who was eagerly getting into the whole "making a movie" thing. "Anybody...?!"

"Oh, don't worry; I am." Agreed Tak. "However, this whole 'making a movie' thing _is_ keeping everybody happy, and that is a plus...!" She didn't say anything about how she'd been having to mentally "keep the peace", so Lard-nar just wondered.

"Well, I don't care if they're happy; _I'm_ not happy with the idea one bit!" Pouted Sploods, crossing his arms. "And, yes, I am aware that I just agreed with you: don't get your hopes up about that." He was thoroughly-aware that Lard-nar could poke him for it; however, said Lard-nar was just not in the mood for it tonight.

"Oh, okay;" then Lard-nar sighed, "Well, at least more than one of us is still sane, in this case..." he trailed off, leaving all of them to wonder just what in the heck had happened, and when, where he would've been in a rather similar situation.

Tak was considering probing his mind for the answers, but, the warning-bells going off in her head told her to steer clear of this one...! And so she didn't.

"Alright, but what about the Head Hand Bootiler?!" Exclaimed Tallest Red, eagerly still enjoying the conversation. The two Almighty Tallest who'd previously been taking control and ordering about the introductions were now deeply-absorbed in a conversation like they were having a fun chat with their friends. Tallest Purple was now relegated to the task of the "Boot-butt-kicker", in charge of kicking annoying fans off the lot where they'll be filming the -imaginary- movie, and he was currently pretending to be doing just that!

"Hey, now, wait a minute! If my dad funds a part of the movie, too, does that mean that we get part of the proceeds?!" Dib was standing up now, happy and for some reason thinking that they were almost serious. Well, he was more confused than anything, but that didn't matter: just as long as he could quite possibly prove to his father -and to the world- that aliens did exist!

Tallest Red then face-palmed; "I already _told_ you, we aren't going over this again! You can't enter the Intergalactic Fiscal Stage with a MOVIE! It's just not done in, well, anytime, really!" Apparently he was seriously thinking this facetious conversation all the way through.

"But WHY!?" Exclaimed Dib, waving his hands up high, "Why can't you enter the Intergalactic Fiscal Stage with a movie?! That's all I want to know!"

"Because it doesn't WORK like that, and nobody will appreciate your funding, OR support!" Exclaimed Lard-nar finally. "They'll have to see evidence of your financial solvency in order to accept you in the _first_ place, let alone talking about your lack of reputation -that'll take _years_ to build up! You'll wind up running on the coat-tails of any big jukdsald company, and by the time you've actually weaned yourself off of their recommendations, you've become the kind of 'kicks-kissers' that everybody looks down on! So you'll just have to take your time and build up your Universal Fiscal Galactical Portfolio for yourselves -and leave everybody else out of it!- or else, you've got to get used to kissing other peoples' kicking-boots!" Lard-nar's exclamation was surprisingly shocking and useful; and everybody, even the ones who didn't have rich and powerful fathers, like Agents Tuna Ghost and Nessie, appreciated it. Though, they'd never get to use it.

"*Achem*" Tak got everybody's attention, just as Lard-nar's mother was pulling on one of his head-thingies and telling him not to shout at little big heads. Dib appreciated the information, and sat down with an "Oh," to think about it. "I think that we all need to return to the previous subject: The Almighty Tallest still haven't finished gaining an accurate assessment of each of our abilities, and we still have three people left."

"Wait, that makes..." started Tallest Purple, looking at his fingers. "...There's two..."

"Hey, what about us?" Asked Tallest Red, looking at her with a glare, as if to say, "You wanna' start something?!"

"I'm sorry, Sirs; I was under the impression that the Almighty Tallest, leaders of the most powerful Irken Empire, didn't need an introduction... My mistake." Replied Tak, valiantly doing a little "kicks-kissing" herself, just to avoid an argument. That was indeed what she'd meant...it's just too bad they didn't notice it. Or that they seemed to take strange offense at many things.

"Well, DUH~!" Replied Tallest Red, satisfied with said kicks-kissing.

"Of course! But, that doesn't mean that we aren't gonna' do it!" Replied Tallest Purple happily. The rest of the group sighed when they realized that meant that they'd have to listen to more boring introductions...they were just enjoying their little farce into the intergalactic entertainment industry~! The Tallest didn't care, as Tak's comments had finally gotten them back on-track. _(A/N: Thanks, Tak! I totally wrote myself into a corner, there!)_

"Then, who goes next?" Asked Shloonktapooxis as he hovered there in the air. He could hover so well, just like it was natural -hey, wait a minute! IT IS NATURAL! *Screams* HE'S LIIIIED TO MEEEEEE! *Achems* Sorrys about that, back with the story...!

The Tallest, completely oblivious to the Author's silliness, looked to each other before Tallest Purple hummed and examined everyone with a careful squint. Tallest Red just shouted and pointed at someone. "YOU! The Irlikiun! You go next!" Tallest Purple agreed with him.

"Yeah! And if you can't fight or anything, at least be entertaining or something!" Some of the others, including Tak, just rolled their eyes and sighed. It just wasn't worth it to try anything else right now, they simply wanted to get this over and done with.

"Oooh~hh!" Wiggle-moaned Tarky, as he tried his hardest to stand up. It failed. "Okay...huh...I'm...gonna' have to sit down or somethin'...!" It took a few minutes, but he finally regained his stamina and said, "I'm tired, so until I get more food, I'll keep it short -it's not too much, anyhow...! Only...phooohhh! Fourty-six poufoondt-ndons! My name is Tarky, and I'm an Irlikiun, from the planet...phooh! From the planet..." Ploopoh had to poke him.

"Planet Food-plant!" Exclaimed Tarky as he was poked back into life once more, and wiggled a little bit. "Mmm...I only speak ...70 languages, and ...thirty-three fluently... I can identify many different species of plants, 'cause... Mm! I mean, 'cause of my planet's, uh, food-plant profession...we...grow the plants for food for the Irken Empire... I'm...! *Sighs* So tired~! And I'm no good at kicking butt, so don't ask me! My position is...my position is..." He was now asleep, the bottoms of his gooey "legs" becoming a weird kind of curdled-look and shape, and his head was against his chest...and even sinking down into it!

"Okay...I don't think that-" Tallest Purple started to say, but Tak showed up beside Tarky in an instant. She handed him some plants, and he absorbed them into his gooeyed-stuff...but she had to prod him awake for it, first. Tarky started regaining his strength, and the Tallest just had to ask, "Oh-kay... Just when in the heck have you had time to go looking for that?!"

"Just after you picked him. I realized I'd seen some of the plants he was absorbing when we were running around before we found this camp-site. So I ran out and grabbed some." The others just stared at her. "It is something we'd have to do, anyways -if we're still in the middle of a truce. Besides, he'd never finish his introduction if he went into hibernation because of malnourishment."

"Than-thanks...!" Said Tarky, before saying, "Where was I again...?"

"You were about to tell us your position," Replied Tallest Red grumpily, "And you'd better make it quick! We don't want to sit through another snore-fest, and we might have to, with the way these introductions are going!"

"Yes, Sirs," replied Tarky, sitting up properly, "I was going to say that I'm a Gloop-gore Removal-technician...which is still just a nicer way of saying that I'm a window-washer." After hearing him say that he could speak over seventy different languages and had some knowledge of plants, the fact that he was a window-washer was just...uniquely disturbing...in such a way that even the Tallest couldn't endure, and they said something about that.

"Why do they have you on window-washing duty if you're such a skilled linguist!?" Tallest Purple exclaimed.

"Well... There's actually a really...! Well, it's not a very funny story, but it is ...horrifying...!" Started Tarky, but then Tallest Red interrupted. He held up a finger and everyone paid attention to him. Tallest Purple could remember the right words for stuff.

"Wait, wait a minute! Before you start, lemme just ask -does this involve _Zim_, by any chance?"

"Well, actually...now that you mention it... Yeah!" Tarky grinned a little at the sudden epiphany. "Well, I mean, it's not like he was there PERSONALLY, but, uh...! I mean, why ELSE would that giant mechanical Weenie-frog have attacked us? It had his head and voice on the screen, and he was shouting orders...! Well, that explains an awful lot, though I'm still confused about the cactus...!" He trailed off as he put a finger to his gloobular chin in thought. "Whelp, I guess I'll have to join the group of people who've had their lives _utterly ruined_ by Zim!... Who else is up?" He looked around from person to person, hoping to find some good stories from them.

"Whelp, if Tarky's done, then I'll go next!" Replied Shloonktapooxis, with a happy grin on his face, as he hovered in thin air.

"THAT'S NOT YOUR CALL!" Shouted Tallest Purple suddenly, pointing a finger at him. "Since WE'RE the Tallest, WE'LL make the decisions, here!"

A couple of minutes passed as the two Almighty Tallest mused over this. The mysterious space-crickets chirped. "Oh, you can go next." Replied Tallest Purple finally, with Red nodding in agreement. "Then Tak, Sploods, him, and me, next! Ya' got it?!"

"I got it, My Tall-er-!" Shloonktapooxis almost replied out of habit, but he looked over at Lard-nar who gave him an exhausted stare, and then said, "Uh, I mean, Horrible Leaders of the Horrible Irkens who are currently invading all kinds of planets in Horrible Operation Impending Doom II!" The two Tallest just glared at him, but kept quiet and waited for him to continue. "Anywho~! I'm Shloonktapooxis, and I'm a Hefeemaliun, from the planet Hotty-hots-hots, but it used to be called Heefeemia." He winked, as if he was saying this in a way especially-designed to please Lard-nar. His captain just groaned and leaned his head into his hand once more. Like that was the cue for him to get going, Shloonktapooxis continued.

"There wasn't a lot of languages to learn around where I lived...and I haven't really wanted to learn them, and so all I know are -er, the only one I know is my own species' language. Hefeemaliun." Then he just hovered there with his tongue sticking out. "Sorry, everyone!"

Lard-nar had to wave his hand to get him to continue, and even whispered the other subjects he had to tell them about.

"That-OH! Oh, and...I can...!" He thought for a moment, then he said, "I'm really good at pokin'! With my little tail, here!" He said this while wiggling his tail, and a couple of people "Ooohed" at that. "That, and...I worked in a Roller-poller plant...and, eh- that's that!"

"The last one is your current position..." stated Lard-nar with his face currently hidden underneath his hand.

"What?"

"Your current position...!" Moaned Lard-nar once again.

"Wait, you mean _right now_? Hovering in the air!" Replied Shloonktapooxis, wiggling his tail to and fro as if to indicate where he was.

"Please state your current position!" Lard-nar exclaimed, standing up to shout at him.

"I already SAID WHAT MY CURRENT POSITION WAS!" Exclaimed Shloonktapooxis, unsure why he was shouting, but shouting in response seemed like the best of ideas, since he was the one who'd started it...! Lard-nar usually didn't mind that, and he was the Resisty group's captain~!

"I DIDN'T MEAN YOUR CURRENT POSITION _IN THE AIR_, I MEANT YOUR CURRENT _JOB POSITION_!" Shouted Lard-nar just as loudly. He wasn't the captain for just any reason! He had an English accent and could shout over the din of his screaming crew-mates! Oh, uh, and he was smart and able to lead his group, and stuff that's necessary for leading...

"Oh... WELL, WHY DIDN'T YOU _SAY_ SO!?" Shloonktapooxis replied, still shouting, and at this point it had reached all heights of silliness: Almighty Tallest, along with everyone else who wasn't interested in intergalactic politics, started to giggle.

"GUUAAAUURRRGGGHHH!" Replied Lard-nar, clenching his fists and growling into the air. "Alright, fine! Then just tell us that!"

"What was that?" Asked Shloonktapooxis. At this point, the Almighty Tallest didn't even bother to hold it in, and burst into twinned laughter.

After the group had had its convulsions on the ground, full of comments about sit-coms and fun idiots, they finally got to a point where they could breathe again, and then continued. This took about twelve hours. Anyone's time. It doesn't matter, at this point, since we're doing a bizarre time-jump again~! What-cha! _(A/N: For further reference, however, let's just assume that it's six hours, in Earth time. Or else I'll never finish this story~!)_

"Alright, _I'll_ tell them!" Exclaimed Lard-nar, as if they were still having the same conversation. "He's the Main Cannon's Gunner, Button-pusher Extontsis!"

The Tallest and Sploods inexplicably burst into laughter, and even Tak couldn't tell what they were laughing at -not that she'd try to pry into the Almighty Tallests' minds- but she did try prying into Sploods' mind. Nothing that she could see would induce laughter. Just the same canned reference to his -OH!- THAT was the humor! Then Tak promptly burst into laughter.

This confused the rest of them, but also made them smile. Except for Lard-nar. And Dib. Who was wondering why in the heck she kept imagining using his giant head to block said Main Cannons from a Resisty ship. Then they all realized that they didn't care. And yet another twelve hours, unaccounted for! _(A/N: But this one has no fancy Author's Further Reference note. Just a note about there not being a note. Hhm, I should note myself, just in case I forget about this little reference note for no Further Reference note!)_

They'd finally all settled down, still snickering, when, all of the sudden, the Almighty Tallest pointed to Tak and said, "YOU! It's YOUR turn, next!" Tak's snickering smile suddenly turned into a pained grimace. She nodded and took a deep breath, before turning to face the rest of the group.

"My name is Tak; I'm an Irken, from the planet Irk. I speak many different languages, although I also have the standard Universal Translation System for Irken Paks Matrix encoded into my Pak..." she gave a bit of a look over at Dib, glared, and finally decided that he'd be bugging her along with his human friends about it. "For those of you who don't know, instead of simply translating, the U.T.S.F.I.P.M. will also _teach_ me the language, encoding it into my brain. All Genetically-enhanced Irkens have that. Even complete morons, like Zim." The Tallest and Sploods, and many others, moaned as if they didn't want to be reminded. "As for my abilities..." she looked up and sighed as she thought about how she was going to list them off, before looking back at the group.

_(A/N: Try pronouncing "U.T.S.F.I.P.M"! Go on, it's fun~!)_

"I've been trained as a Soldier in the Irken Military, and..." she trailed off as she thought about it, then said, "Tarky was right: a lot of people have had their lives ruined by Zim. I was about to take the last test to become an Elite Soldier, but Zim used a giant mech to destroy a snack-machine, just to get a snack!" The Almighty Tallest and Sploods gasped -apparently destroying or tampering with snack-machines was a capitol offense! "He blew the power-block for that entire half of the planet, and I was _stuck_ inside my room, until rescue crews finally restored power. ONE YEAR AND SIX MONTHS LATER." She trailed off as she shook her fist. "Since the tests are only held every seventy years, I'd have to WAIT UNTIL THE NEXT TEST!"

Others nodded in empathy. "That is SO SAD." Said Tallest Red, nodding sadly.

"Mmm-hmm!" Agreed Tallest Purple, also nodding.

"Saying that your life was ruined by Zim seems like some sort of badge of universal pain and honor, nowadays," noted Sploods solemly, waving his hand.

Everyone else started nodding and mentioning their own problems they'd had because of Zim.

"And then all of my materinon's hair-" Clasps the Blob-woman was saying, something about a pet she'd had at one time.

"I know when I was in the narpops, they-" Lard-nar for some reason was regaling Vick and Vrilly with some of his horrors which were Zim-related.

"And whenever I went into the narpops' bathroom, then they-" Ploopoh was continuing the conversation with Clasps, completely unrelated to Lard-nar's, and yet still very similar.

"There's just NO WAY all of that hair was burned!" Vrilly was replying to Lard-nar's comment, now.

"Say, do you guys remember when-" Ploopoh was still continuing his conversation, but this time including others. It was his talent, after all. He was conversational!

"EVERYONE, QUIET!" Shouted Tallest Red, when Tallest Purple's shouts and Sploods' fell on def ears and drums.

"So like I said, WHY'S all that stuff comin' out of it?! It was all squishy, and...and...stuff..." Shloonktapooxis trailed off as he realized that his loud voice was the only one speaking mid-sentence. "Hey, guys, why's everybody so quiet?" He wiggled his tail a little.

_(A/N: A Muppets moment, everyone!)_

"*Achem*!" Stated Tallest Purple, "Now that we have your attention, the next person to speak is...eh, oh, that's right! Sploods is next!" He pointed to Sploods, although he was already sitting close by. "Then, next will be me and him!" He pointed to himself and to Tallest Red, before looking important and satisfied, and sitting down.

"Wait a minute," just as Sploods stood up to speak, Lasch-mik was the one to speak up, "What about Tak's current position?"

"Yeah!"

"Oh, we didn't find out about that!"

"When she didn't make it for the test, then what job did she get assigned to?"

"Does she get to wear a hot uniform?"

Among all the questions, this last one stood out among the rest, as everyone looked around for the source. No one could claim who'd asked it, but it'd unnerved Tak enough, that she glared at them all and hoped she could find a way not to answer... It wasn't happening. She was going in the same boat as Tarky, she just knew it. And being lost in a group full of aliens in a boat with an Irlikiun wasn't pretty.

"She's an 'Evil Irken Defect Exterminator'! Obviously," replied Tallest Red as he messed with his hand-puppet. She looked over at them, and found Tallest Purple was grinning, before giving her a sly wink the rest of the group couldn't see, and fiddling with his own hand-puppet. "I mean, we sent her out to deal with Zim!" Red continued, hoping to drive the point home in a little four-wheel drive space-car-deelie.

"Well!...That certainly explains some things," was all Lasch-mik said, and the others slowly started to agree with her.

The problem with four-wheel drive...is that it needs four wheels. Thankfully, Sploods interjected, "We also didn't want Zim to come back anytime soon, you know: just in case he exploded the planet or something and came back to try and 'help' us with Operation Impending Doom II," Sploods gave a little shudder at the evil thought, just to emphasize its evilness. "Whoo! What an awful mess _that'd_ turn into!"

The others agreed whole-heartedly, all the while completely unawares that they had hit upon the fourth wall with that idea, completely unknowing that it might've been included in the original show's plot, had the original show continued beyond those twenty-six episodes...

Dib took a camper look around, unsure why he felt like the universe had been split into a weird alternate version, and where in the heck the original one went off to. Then he remembered that he'd be an idiot to even think that he could recognize a split in the space-time continuum which would branch off to make a parallel world, and that he should just shut his own mind up about it before every super-smart alien, like Lard-nar, and the other non-Vortians, laughed at him about that. He also realized that it might not make a parallel world, and that Quantum Physics applied to reality made less sense than wearing pants under your underwear. He promptly forgot about it.

That perpetually-long-run-on-sentence aside, the conversation was continuing...

Tak was immensely grateful for her leaders' quick-thinking -as well as the promotion!- but was still worried if anybody would check her PAK's encoding to see if they were telling the truth. So, she said, "I believe Adviser Sploods' introduction is next. Sploods, Sir?" She turned the conversation easily towards him, and the Adviser was more than eager to share his own accomplishments with the rest of them. Everyone else turned in interest towards him, and thankfully nobody like that little busy-body Lasch-mik was concentrating their focus on intergalactic rumors of epic proportions -or irritating ones~! That being said, she still tried hard to keep a mental focus on maintaining that with her psychic abilities.

The Tallests' Adviser stood up while Tak sat, and said, "Well! I'm Sploods, an Irken, from Planet Irk, and I speak over four hundred languages fluently, as well as having the U.T.S.F.I.P.M. installed in my PAK. I'm-"

For once, even the Almighty Tallest were shocked enough -along with the rest of them- to stop him mid-sentence and ask, "Wait, WHAT?!" This was Almighty Tallest Red. "Why in the UNIVERSE would you have to have learned over four hundred languages YOURSELF, BESIDES the Universal Translation System?!" Tallest Purple was also agog, but he wasn't really saying anything interesting, just some minor spaztic comments and things, like, "Yeah!" or, "What he said!"

"Yeah! And besides, that's not even the required requisite for an Adviser to the Almighty Tallest! It's only 200 languages, plus several dialects and cultures newly-listed, but most of that just goes right into your PAK database anyways, and what with the new screening processes for the re-integrated Deadabase materials, you'll have really no reason at all to have learned all of those languages for yourself!" Well, okay, so maybe Almighty Tallest Purple did have something rather important to say.

The others all looked at him in shock at what he'd just said. "Oh...what?! Like, that isn't THAT OBVIOUS!" He said defensively as he threw his arms up in the air. Tallest Red looked at him funny, like he'd never even seen that out of him before. Considering that they'd been together their entire lives, that wasn't very likely!

"No...it's just that I had no idea you would even know about all of that..." Replied Tallest Red as he almost glared at him. Now he was glaring at him, as if he'd somehow hidden it from him deceptively.

"Now, don't get all mad! I just contemplated that as a job-choice when we went through our last Meatlings Training class, you know, the one before we both decided to take the Elite Soldier course!" Tallest Red still stared at him until he huffed and turned away, "Well, fine! Just _be_ like that!" He paid no notice to the strange looks they were all giving to this surprising actual fight -Tallest Purple usually instigated fights with Tallest Red when there were no snacks, or just really, really bored- but most of the time these were childish fights. This one looked like it was actually...fighty.

"Well, uh...actually, they've increased the required requisite to over 220 languages, plus the dialects and cultures newly-listed...and, now that you said it, I remember that those Deadabase screening-processes were apparently almost completely retro-changed because the newer ones weren't working quite as well as they'd hoped they would." Sploods replied calmly and respectfully, hoping that Tallest Purple wouldn't want to instigate yet another fight...with him instead of his fellow Tallest. He wasn't exactly allowed to fight back, and Tallest Purple didn't pull any punches.

"That's strange; why wouldn't they work?" Asked Tak as she remembered hearing about that big change. She hadn't heard about the retro-change: perhaps the Control Brains hadn't wanted everyone to find out that it didn't work?

"I don't know; when I was in training for it, they just said that the new change didn't work. They never really liked to elaborate on it; you know how that goes...! If they didn't fix the problem, then there's no reason to worry; they just retro-changed it back. And besides, they would've made an announcement or something if it was a major problem." Sploods' calm response seemed to relieve what little amount of stress the others were feeling about that. Dib noticed that even the aliens that were a part of the Resisty seemed worried, but he couldn't tell why. They wouldn't normally be worried about their enemies' Deadabase, would they?

While Dib was wondering about that and other things, Sploods had decided to finish his introduction. At Tak's mental spurring, of course.

"Ah, right! As for my abilities, I am an experienced heckaweographer, and I did well in agility during my training years: I even thought about making Circusing my career. But, I decided that aiming to be an Adviser was the best course to take. I'm so glad I did. I don't really have to do much, and I don't have to bother with a bunch of- er, I mean!" The Almighty Tallest and Tak were now glaring down over Sploods, effectively ending his transmission of "Things they did not need other people to start thinking about" right then. He stopped and cleared his throat before continuing, "And... That's why I'm the Almighty Tallests' Adviser!" He grinned cheesily.

"Alright, that's it for him. Now it's my turn," replied Tallest Red, still leaned in to look at Sploods. He sat back up and said, "Or, unless of course, YOU have any MORE SURPRISES we'd like to HEAR ABOUT!?" Glaring at Tallest Purple, it was apparent that he didn't think the fight was over, yet. But, ah, well! He didn't really need to keep fighting about it. Now was the time to start gloating about his own accomplishments!

"Hey, wait a minute," started Vick, just as Tallest Red was opening his mouth. The Tallest both glared at her, as if she'd just committed a cardinal sin. She didn't really care. Neither did Agent Nessie, apparently.

"Yeah, just a quick question: what's a 'heckaweographer'?" Asked Agent Nessie, finishing the question for her. They were both equally-curious, and it was a shock to see that Dib was so quiet recently; but, they paid it no mind as they waited for the answer.

"Well, OBVIOUSLY, it's the kind of person who can find out where in the heck you are without even knowing!" Replied Sploods before snickering, covering his mouth with his hand. Tak nudged him a bit, letting him know that they'd need just a little bit more information than that. "Heckaweographers can determine someone's location even without a map; just taking in things like what's in the general vicinity. Even if you can't see the stars, you can at the very least know what kind of planet you're on and then you can figure it out from there. They can find your direction for you even if the planet has no magnetic poles!" He almost looked to Tak; but figured that she wasn't bothering him, so it was enough information.

"So... You're the best person to help us out of here?" Asked Dib, hitting the nail on Sploods' proverbial head...wait a minute, that's not the right phrase...! Sploods felt like that, though, as if he'd been the one hit. Tak even found herself smirking. When it comes to pointing things out, leave it to Dib. Even the obscurely-obvious things are as clear as day, once he says them.

"Huh, uh, well! I mean, that is to say..." Sploods looked to Tak for help, but she didn't give him anything. "I'll, uh...! Just need all the information that I can get...that, and since moving around is so hard, scouting will be difficult. To tell the truth, I've never seen any planet like this! Even in our training, which randomly-generated things, there was nothing like this!"

Tallest Red opened his mouth again, only to be interrupted by Vick once more. "Right...so, even the best person for the job is confused about it. That's just _GREAT_~!" She grit her teeth and growled sarcastically. "What _else_ could go wrong?!" There was a big crack of lightning, and the wind blew ominously, as if it expected to light things on fire and freeze their very souls at the same exact time. It was cool~...

But, not for them! "You...could..._continue to interrupt me_!?" Replied Tallest Red, not even bothering with the tempting of the universe to undo them with that last turn of phrase. He'd seen that kind of thing happen before. Tallest Purple had initiated it, in fact. Tallest Red didn't even blink whenever he called down doom upon them in the middle of a crisis. The others, however, were more shocked about it. Even Tak seemed to cower a little bit at the extreme forces of the universe.

"That's not good." Replied Sploods, in what was the understatement of their various measurements of the century.

"What! Curses, Vick! What'd you say that for?!" Exclaimed Dib, jumping up and half-yelling at her, half-trying-to-sheild-her-head. "Don't you know that saying things like that just tempts the fates to make things even WORSE for you!?"

Vick just stared up at him, a little bit confused, like she'd never heard of it before. Of course, she had, it just hadn't bothered her. This did, though: the fact like he was jumping up, as if he could somehow protect her from her own invocation of the fates to make things worse for them!

"Yeah...I've heard that as well...!" Started Agent Nessie, trying to calm him down. "But, uhhh...you just standing up and being on one side of her will not shield either her, or us, from the effects of that." He simply nodded calmly, then sighed, "So, the universe will just have to get it over with."

"That's okay: Dib's large head tends to draw any dangerous projectiles or enemy fire...so, in all actuality, it's mostly just going to be him who gets to face the fates' wrath." Replied Tak, stepping in to end this conversation, as well as make fun of Dib in the meantime. So that they could finally end all the introductions...no, wait, that's what the Author wants...D'OH!

"What...!?" Asked Vick, as if it was something revealing.

"Now I _know_ I wasn't imagining it! Every bomb or bug-thing around here has always headed in his _head's_ direction!" Replied Agent Nessie, also shocked.

"Alright! THAT'S it! If anybody wants, they _can_ be thrown outside this camp-site! Otherwise, WE'LL DO OUR INTRODUCTIONS, AND YOU WON'T INTERRUPT US!" Shouted Tallest Red alarmingly; everyone turned to look, but were still distracted by the mystery and largeness of Dib's big head...

"But, but...! It's just such an interesting...mystery!" Replied Clasps, coming over to wave a gooey-arm over Dib's giant head.

Tak just stared at her, completely dead-pan, and said, "It's not such a mystery what will happen to you once you're _thrown outside the camp-site_."

"Oh..." Replied Clasps, who then turned to "sit" back down.

"That's better. Now, once the universe wreaks its havoc upon the two thick-heads, we can get started. Once more... And we'd _better_ not be interrupted!..." Tak threatened, her head lowered, glaring each and every one of them in the eyes, then turning to nod her head at her superiors.

"What?! But that-" before Dib could finish saying, "That's crazy", he was struck with a bolt of lightning. He promptly fell over.

"GuWAAAAHHH!" Shouted Vick, since he'd been standing right next to her. She then turned around and frantically looked, jumping up, but no lightning struck her. "Well...! Maybe she was right about that whole 'head-thing'." After which she checked herself over, and finding nothing wrong, she sighed and said, "Whoo-hoo! I'm free! I'm fre-" and was hit on the head with a rock. She fell over, completely conked-out.

Everyone looked up to see if it had come from their dead rock-monster shelter, but nothing looked like it had broken off. The rock then promptly rolled over, sprouted arms and legs, eyes, and a mouth, giggled, and then walked away. "Hee hee hee hee...!"

Dib suddenly jumped up and gasped, as if he was just trying to catch his breath after suddenly not breathing... "Whee-hoooh! Man, I hatpe it when thath happen..." He wobbled as he tried to get his bearings and his balance, but eventually blinked and sat down again. "Wha-what waz he szayin'?"

Vrilly waved a hand in front of Dib's face, just to see if his eyes could actually focus or not. The rest of them were concerned with Vick, and Throbulator pulled out a stick and began poking her with it. It wasn't until they'd fully-revived that the Tallest got to do their introductions.

_(A/N: This took an unlimited amount of time, that we don't have to actually note about. Thank-you for your attention to this Author's Note.)_

"That's better," began Tallest Red. "Now! Let's see... My name is Almighty Tallest R-"

"RODGER RED!" Shouted Tallest Purple. Tallest Red didn't turn to look at him as he punched him in the face.

There was dead silence as everyone wondered if that was indeed his real name... Notwithstanding, he continued. "I am an IRKEN..." He waited and snarled at everyone, as if he just hoped they'd interrupt him again so that he could order Tak to hurt them. "From the planet IRK...!" As nobody else had the gall to interrupt him, he continued on. "I can speak 46 and a half different languages, along with the U.T.S.F.I.P.M. installed in the PAK. I have -uh...why do you have your hand up?" The hand belonged to Agent Nessie, who apparently had become a lot quieter since they and the universe had become a lot angrier. It had about the same effect on the rest of the group.

"I'm just trying not to get attacked because of asking a question..." came his honest reply. Almighty Tallest Red wasn't quite sure if he was impressed with that, but it seemed like a good enough idea.

"That's fine, then..." After he'd said this, Throbulator held his hand up. "Yes... Rough-rock Soldier Throbulator..." Tallest Red glowered, realizing that he should've probably told them to hold their questions until the end of the introductions -both his and Tallest Purple's- wait, scratch that, Tallest Purple was being a real jerk to him, so maybe just his own introduction.

"Why 46 and a half?" He asked the question Nessie was wondering, so he nodded as well to this.

"The half refers to a dialect, since it's still technically a part of the same language. Next question?" Tallest Red explained boredly. He stared at Nessie, so Nessie just shrugged and shook his head. "Oh, same question? Good. Then save your idiotic questions until the end of the introduction!"

"Technically, there are no stupid questions, just stupid people," replied Vick with a bit of a giggle. Agent Nessie just glared and rolled his eyes at this little joke.

Tallest Red looked at Tallest Purple -who was fully-recovered from that punch- and Sploods, and they all nodded. "Okay, so keep your stupid people questions until the end of the introduction!" Tallest Red said, making most of everyone giggle.

"Aaawww, sheesh! And I really wanted to ask what an UTS-FIPUM is!" Replied Tak, making both the Tallest and Sploods groan at the awful, old joke.

Dib just snarled and put his head in his hand. That was what _he'd_ been thinking. How would one go about pronouncing "U.T.S.F.I.P.M."? Tak just loved making him suffer since they'd been there, it seemed like. Oh, well. His sister already did that, so it wasn't like he wasn't used to it... The thought of that made him shudder. Then again, maybe he should actually find out what she's so angry over?

"OH, nnnOOOOO! It's the horrible NEVER-ENDING BAD OLD JOKES punning TOOOUUURRR!" Shouted Tallest Purple. Tallest Red just promptly burst out laughing, and aside from those two, no one had any idea what was so funny. At all. Not even Tak: of course, she wasn't peeking into their minds, just trying to calm anxious tempers...but that didn't need to be done now, apparently.

"Aah-aahhh, shwooh!" Said Tallest Red, wiping a tear out of his eye and sighing. They'd finally finished laughing, although nobody else had any idea why they were laughing. "We-well! Where were we?" Tak promptly began trying to control Sploods' temper, who was about to explode with concern over this. "That's it! Well, as for Abilities, let's see...!" He almost snickered again, but kept his snickers under control as he continued. "Well, aside from the normal, mandatory training, I was also an Invader. My specialties included strategy and mechanical and technical stuff. I'm now an Almighty Tallest. Any questions, now?!"

And, for once, no one had any questions.

"Aaalllrighty-then... I guess that means it's your turn," he turned to look at Almighty Tallest Purple, who was standing behind him. He saw that Tallest Purple was currently hunched over some sort of plant-looking thing, and he was munching on it. Almighty Tallest Red frowned, and then struggled with Tallest Purple until he hurled him up in front of the group, still munching on whatever it was that he'd been munching. Strangely enough, he also had a different little thing that he was munching on, which looked like a strange, smooth biscuit. He continued munching on this until it was gone, then he licked his fingers and lips and dusted off his armor. Only then did he start his own introduction.

"I'm Almighty Tallest-"

"VIOLENT PURPLE!" Tallest Red shouted, finally bringing their teasing-thing full-circle.

Tallest Purple just dead-panned, then turned to shout at Tallest Red, "AlRIGHT! Alright! I get it!" Before continuing on in his own introduction. "Anyways, like I just said! I'm Almighty Tallest *mumble* Purple, I'm an IRKEN, from the planet IRK, I can speak 46 and a half different languages," Tallest Red opened his mouth in a faux gasp, "Oh, WHAT?! Do you think I actually wanted to LEARN all those hundreds of different languages!?" He'd turned to shout at him, and then cleared his throat and continued, "ANYWAYS, I'm also trained as an Invader, although my main skills involved combat. I'm an Almighty Tallest, the greatest position, that I have to share with Red-face here." He motioned with his head to the other Tallest behind him. "*Mumbles* Stupid Tallest Heighting System...*Mumble grumbles*"

"Uhhh..." said Sploods, looking around at everyone who was waiting for something. "Is it time for questions? Uh! Sir?"

"Huh!?" Said Tallest Purple as he looked up, then said, "Oh-oh! Right, uh...any...questions?!" Everyone was silent for a few moments, until someone raised their hand. It was Throbulator. "Uh...yeah?"

"This is something I've wondered for a while now, but, uh, are you two...uhh...related?" Asked Throbulator, quietly and almost sheepishly, as if he'd be too afraid to ask that under normal circumstances. There was a long pause and a deep silence. The crickets didn't even chirp.

"Yes, we're identical twins," replied both Tallest Red and Purple, as if it'd long been rehearsed.

There was a pregnant silence, but nobody wanted to know why or how it was called that. So instead, we continue on with the narrative...! "I, uh, don't know too much about alien physiology, but, uh...why are your eyes two different colors?" Asked Agent Nessie after raising his hand. He didn't wait to be called on, but he figured that they didn't look that angry...at least, not right now. "I mean, shouldn't your eyes be the same color?"

"Yes, but you can have your eye-color permanently changed if it causes too many problems," Said Tallest Purple off-handedly, although he still seemed to glare them down.

"...That, and, if _you_ use it to cause too many problems," added Tallest Red as he smirked an evil smirk from behind him.

"As most of you probably don't know, identical twins are a rare occurrence, but not impossible, with the Irken DNA Enhancement Production Process." Tak replied to answer any of those other curious alien questions. She didn't know why, but the Tallest sure didn't like this conversation, and she kept her mind completely out of theirs, despite a vague curious notion that she had great difficulty squashing. She assumed it had drifted over from Dib. It was like squashing cockroaches...!

They always came back.

The two Tallest seemed to be snickering about something else now, and apparently everyone else's curiosity had been sated. Then someone else held their hand up and said something. Well, not really, since this one didn't have any of them!

"So, which one of you had your eyes changed?" Asked Shloonktapooxis, and the twos' snickering promptly ceased. They turned to look at each other, but then turned to look at their Adviser. He didn't know what they were confused about. They looked at the rest of the group, and this continued until one of them finally spoke.

"Uh...I don't remember..." Replied Tallest Red as he looked at Tallest Purple.

"Uh...I don't remember, either!" Replied Tallest Purple. "I thought it was you, though, but I don't know why..."

"What?! I thought it was YOU!" Replied Tallest Red, and now they were arguing over who got their eyes changed, and to what color. "Well, if you thought it was me, then it's got to be you!"

"What!? There's no way!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple.

"Yes, there is! 'Cause whenever anything like that happened, you'd go around telling lies about it, saying that it was ME! Don't you remember?!" Replied Tallest Red, pointing at him. The others just continued to stare on in awkward silence at these two who apparently could not remember what had happened with a rather major color-changing event in their life-times... 'Oh, we are SO doomed,' ran through the minds of several of the Irken and Irken Empire-loyal aliens around there.

"Oh, yeah...!" Replied Tallest Purple with a long finger to his chin, "Heh, heh, heh! I guess it was, then...!"

After finally ascertaining who'd gotten their eye-colors changed, and why, the subject was, regrettably, changed once again. _(A/N: Because that scene was just too much fun to write!)_

"Alright! So, then, we've got the introductions taken care of...!" Said Tallest Red, once again back into his role of the "Group of Stranded Aliens Who Might Not Really Like Being Around Each Other Organizer".

"And thank GOODNESS, because I'm about to fall asleep," said Agent Nessie. Unlike Dib, both he and Vick had been unable to sleep, so they were completely exhausted by now.

"And we can now assign tasks to people so they can do something!" Added Tallest Purple. Sploods nodded and Tak accepted the perfunctory task. It wasn't like she could do anything else, so there wasn't any reason to not accept it.

"We're kind-of exhausted, so we'll be trying to sleep on the cold, hard ground for a while..." Said Vick, adding the guilt-trip just to make sure they got the idea that they shouldn't try to stop or bother them. They'd been awake for far longer than they normally would have, and it was about at that point that any place seemed like a good place for a nap. Plus, their tenth-wind was failing. That, and they decided to plead the Sixth, even though it didn't really even apply to this.

"Mmm...hey, does anybody care if I take my coat back?" Asked Agent Nessie, "I kind-of would like to use it as a pillow. Or something."

The aliens didn't even interrupt this scene; the truth was, they didn't really care that much. Those two didn't have much to offer in terms of skills, and they were sometimes annoying because they didn't know that much, either.

"You're such a _gentleman_," snarled Vick, since he hadn't even offered it to her, first.

"Oh, I'm sorry, what was that?! I think I heard the entire Feminist's Movement start to squeal or something!" Agent Nessie snapped as he grabbed his coat and rolled it up, before flopping on the ground in a little bit of a huff.

"AaarrrGGHHHI!" Started Vick. Dib decided he'd had enough, and offered his coat for Vick to use, instead. "_Finally_! Heh, Agent Bonny Bobby Shaftoe! Looks like you're more of a girl than this kid!" She rolled it and stuffed it under her head, finding a nice place -away from Agent Nessie- to lay down. Preferably by the fire, where it was warm.

"What does that even MEAN?!" Asked Dib, looking at them in confusion. Everyone else was now looking at them, because this conversation had just turned interesting.

"AaaaeeeAAARRRGEEE! I dunno, I just said it!" Said Vick, before mumbling, "I'm too tired to think right now! Shut-up and let me sleep!"

"*Mumble* Psh, _I'll_ let you sleep," mumbled Agent Nessie, loud enough so that she could hear it, before pretending to fall asleep himself.

"Uuuhhh...oh-kaayyy... Well, cranky aliens aside..." Started Sploods, as he and Tallest Red surveyed the rest of the group.

"Let's get down to da FOOD!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple, who hadn't seemed like he was even paying attention. Apparently, he just needed enough of an incentive; and food was it!

"Ooh-kaaayyy..." Tallest Red pushed his brother's face out of his face and said, "But, just the organizing for right now. Most of these guys can't even see very well in the middle of the night. We'll have to wait for day. Psh!" He rolled his eyes, "Whenever THAT is!"

Sploods had been waiting for his chance to mention something, and Tak nodded to him to say it. "I suppose I'll get to work on Heckaweographing: I can recognize some of these stars, but it might take a while. I'm not much use for anything else."

"Wait a minute!" Shouted Tallest Purple, grabbing his shoulder.

"You're not going anywhere; we need you to help keep these guys in check!" Tallest Red stated, pointing to the tired-looking group, who pouted.

"We're not causing any trouble, you know," replied Vrilly. The group had been remarkably-silent, but only because they were exhausted from fighting with each other. The Tallests' taking control had helped to quiet their squabbling, but only for a brief time would it work. The reason for this was the fact that the Resisty's leader and some of the Resisty were there, either officially or just sympathizers: the main point was that they wouldn't be so exhausted from fighting for very long...!

"That's not the point!" Tallest Purple shouted and pointed, before Tallest Red had gotten the chance to speak. Then Tallest Red butted in.

"That's right! It's not that you aren't causing any, it's that, uhm..." suddenly he'd forgotten what his point was. "Uh..."

"Of course, I'd completely forgotten: with the Resisty here, it's only a matter of time before they, uh, start doin' stuff!" Stated Sploods, completely saving Tallest Red's bacon, and making Tak roll her eyes and try to look unbothered by it.

The others were tired of this, as the Author was tired of trying to find synonyms. But they continued on: there was little else to do whilest it was still night-time, and they were exceptionally bored.

But, just the same, Lard-nar decided to speak up, "Well, it's kind-of obvious who's going out to look for food, anyhow. The only qualified soldiers here who can deal effectively with the kinds of dangers outside of our camp-site are Tak, Crystal, and Throbulator. It'd be stupid to risk any of the others' lives, now that we know everyone's abilities. But, I'd still like to accompany them -just to be sure that there aren't any dangerous things being added." The others, the Irkens, mainly, decided to give him a cold-hearted stare. It wasn't them, however, who spoke up. It was Vrilly. Apparently, no matter how nice you are, you can still have an opinion.

She waved a hand at him, "Look, we've been _through_ this! It's not going to benefit anyone if we aren't going to work together! We have people from various background and of varying abilities here: why don't we just use them to our full advantage?!" Then she held up a hand at his open mouth of protest, "Yeah, I know, that like, totally doesn't fit in with your whole, 'Resisty' thing that you've got going on here!"

"What!?" Exclaimed Lard-nar and, surprisingly, Lasch-mik, who'd jumped up at the exact same time he had.

"Just what part of, 'killing off the leader of your enemies' faction' _don't_ you understand?!" Lard-nar Exclaimed, gripping the air emphatically.

"And what part of, 'my boy's going to get himself poisoned or just out-right killed because of his idiocy and his tendency to jump into action before he thinks if he thinks that it's a good cause', don't you understand?!" Added Lasch-mik, which made Lard-nar almost face-palm, if it wasn't for the fact that they were both arguing for the very same reason.

"That's not what we were thinking, actually...well, not at _all_..." Replied Tallest Red simply. As he trailed off, Tak tried to explain.

"It's not necessarily useful to us if you're dead before the Resisty movement is stopped," she replied.

The others didn't seem to get it, so Sploods added, "Well, it also wouldn't be that fun if we killed you right away. That, and, if anybody died here, it'd probably be because of the indigenous flora and fauna; _not_ because of any of _us_ killing them!"

As Lard-nar put a hand to his chin to ponder this, Lasch-mik suddenly just sighed. And then face-palmed. "I can't believe that the relatively-lazy Irkens are better thinkers than my own son...!" Dib was reminded of his previous wonderings about why aliens seemed to exhibit so many human-like gestures and reactions...but then Tak's comment snapped him out of his wonderings.

"Hey! Not _all_ of us are lazy!" Snapped Tak, sufficiently surprising absolutely everyone.

"Uhhh...YEAH! That's RIGHT!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple -although he could've taken this as an insult, he'd decided to make a mountain out of a mole-hill- wait a minute, that's not right...! In any case, he added, "Those of us who ARE have worked VERY HARD to get to this point!"

While that might in itself sound like a contradiction in terms, it was technically correct when considering social standing -that those who work their way to the top get to just sit around and let other people do the work for them after that- and there was no questioning their logic. That was probably why Dib began to snort, and then started laughing.

"What?!" Asked absolutely everyone, even the "pretending to be asleep" Vick and Agent Nessie, and Tak, who was too preoccupied with her own annoyance to have even noticed the humor in his head.

"'We worked VERY HARD to be lazy'!" Dib finally spat out, and even the Almighty Tallest gave a bit of a giggle at that point.

Agent Nessie started to giggle from his prone state to one side of their camp, and he finally said, "You know, it's very hard to be tired when there's funny comments and stuff...!"

"Yeesh! We finally get to a point where we're tired enough to sleep on this rock-hard ground, and what happens?! We're too busy LAUGHING to even GO to sleep!" Exclaimed Vick, rolling over with a cranky snarl and finally sitting up. "And WHY can't I get warm, even when I'm by the fire?!"

"Because, it's the rock..*mumble*..er you're ...eep...on," Muttered Agent Nessie from his place on the ground. Vick looked over with a questioning look on her face, and Tallest Purple miraculously decided to be helpful and translate. Tak was almost hoping that she wouldn't have to keep the peace mentally, and play Information Drone to these educationally-deficient Earthlings. It didn't work, of course.

"He says, 'It's because of the Rock-monster you're sleeping on'." Tallest Purple relayed.

Agent Nessie turned his head up so that they could hear him, "Yeah, it's like sleeping on concrete: it just sucks away all your body-heat."

"Well, maybe we should consider heating up some rocks or something for bed-warmers, 'cause I am most definitely NOT huddling up to a strange man for warmth!" Replied Vick sassily. Agent Nessie tipped his head up again, and stared at her.

"You've been a Swollen Eyeball agent for HOW long?! And we've known each other at least in passing for HOW many years?! And yet you still have the gall to say that I'm a 'stranger'?!" Agent Nessie's comment was more questioning than it was sardonic, and so she took it just a little bit seriously. Just a little bit. Because she did not want him to continue on about all of that.

"Yeah, okay, so maybe more of a, 'workmate that I don't really talk to all that often', but whatever! I still didn't huddle with Jock Brockmeck when he kept trying hit on me when I worked in that Bridal shop, and most CERTAINLY won't huddle with even a fellow Swollen Eyeball agent!" Vick's reply was smart and sweet and sassy, and it went straight to the point.

"That's fine, it's not like I even wanted to!" Reminded Agent Nessie, before putting his head back down on his horribly-stained, rolled-up coat. He muttered a bit before eventually adding, "But at least don't call me a_ strange man_!"

"Psh!... You're a lot stranger than _some_ men I meet," responded Vick, who seemed stubbornly insistent on getting in the last word.

"That's nothing: I've met even stranger strange men!" Replied Dib matter-of-factly. He was hoping to get in on his fellow Swollen Eyeball members' conversation, and maybe even end their fighting.

"...Considering that I've only met you for a short time, and each time you're involved in weird things, with people that I don't know; that the last couple of times you've dragged _me_ into it, and that dangerous people and objects seem magnetically attracted to your head; that all of those stories you've told seem somehow to hold some water, despite your egotistical-spin to them; that I've actually seen you in the news and heard reports of your various exploits, and that you've just stated something which could, for all the world, cause any social-worker to freak and call up your father, Professor Membrane, yeah... I'm sure that you really have met some strange men in your life-time. Please don't regale us with it." Vick ended this with an imperceptible shake of her head as she tried to make herself seem unapproachable by snuggling her face down even further into the rolled up leather jacket underneath her head. Everyone else just stared as they contemplated her comment.

"When we heat up those rocks, we'd better check to see if they're rock-monsters," commented Throbulator as he poked at the fire with a stick he'd found. It wasn't that long, just about a foot or so, but it was useful. The stick was also previously-used to poke at Vick when she'd been hit on the head with that little rock-creature-monster thing-a-ling-ah-lingy-lingy-ling.

It...did end their fighting. But it didn't exactly get him in on the conversation. In fact, it just ended it. "Nevermind, this conversation has just convinced me that sleep isn't as much of a priority as shutting up this kid's head," said Agent Nessie, as he got up and picked up a rock, unbeknownst to Dib. Nessie then walked by Dib on his way to the fire.

"What? But-!" He was sufficiently silenced as Agent Nessie shoved it into his mouth. Once more, it seemed the right thing to do to keep his head quiet. And he hadn't even been around the first time it had happened! Which meant that Agent Nessie couldn't know how badly that had turned out the last time.

Thankfully, this time, it was just an insentient rock... Or, at least, one that couldn't communicate with either them or its mother-rock, and thusly make them by extension and force, guilty. Of shoving the wrong rock into Dib's mouth in order to silence him. Or, at the very least, of ignorance.

"My body's still convinced that if I lie here long enough, it won't matter," replied Vick, who'd been awfully quiet.

"I get to warm up the rocks, then... Whoop-tee-dee!" Stated Agent Nessie, as he sat down with a "whump!" next to the fire.

He didn't start warming up the rocks, but he did think he heard someone start playing on the harmonica. Whenever he poked his head up to look around, it stopped. 'I must be going crazy... From lack of sleep.' He thought; but he still wished he could hear that harmonica once again. It was strangely harmonious with what was going on here. As if on cue, it started once more.

Everyone seemed concerned, and it was only a couple of minutes later that Agent Nessie had figured out why. Everyone was somewhat cuddled around Clasps, who was making those noises. Apparently, she was one of many voices...not all of them coming from her own voice. As if to explain, she spoke up about it.

"Eh-heh-heh, sorry, sorry! Everyone! I, ehm...make those sounds when I'm hungry." She rubbed the side of her blob-woman head sheepishly. Mmm...blob-woman sheep! Yummy! No, wait a minute... "So, huhm...I don't want to bother anybody... I'll just...find a nice place to sleep, for now...!"

Tak rolled her eyes as Tallest Purple nodded to her to go help. After all, having to pick those little thingies off of her large foot area last time was a major pain; and they couldn't afford having anything else happen to them while they were safely tucked away in their camp-site. She could attract scavengers!

"If there's no safe place to puddle-up and rest for you, then perhaps I could make one," stated Tak, as she pulled some tools from her PAK. She set to work doing something to some part of the soil-monster-rock-skeleton-floor, but even though Dib tried to peek over there to see what she was doing, he was remarkably unenthusiastic about the whole endeavor.

There were a couple of remarks about it, so it was hard to ignore. "So, you'll simply pour this chemical onto the rock-monster's skeleton in order to solidify its porous structure?" Asked Lard-nar.

"Yes, and the heat applied will make this entire section particularly sturdy. If there were enough force applied, it might even break away from the rest of the rock-monster's skeleton." Came Tak's easy reply. It seemed that Clasps had just looked over to see what she was doing and didn't realize exactly what it was, because of her next comment.

"You never told me you were...oh, OH, EWW, OHHH! OOOOOOHHHHH *Other deep, throaty screams of horror* AAAAAUUUUGGGGHHHHH!" They all turned to stare at her before she calmed down and finally stated, "Oh, so _that's_ how you were gonna' do it...!" She nervously chuckled, "Eh, heh, heh, heh..."

Nobody really knew exactly what had scared her about that, but they also didn't have the desire or energy to ask. So they all observed Tak as she continued her task of solidifying that porous rock-monster's skeleton into a place safe enough for Clasps to puddle-up-to-sleep in.

Tak was done a few minutes later, and the -insentient- rocks were heated up in the fire to serve as body-warmers for the two warm-blooded mammals who insisted on sleeping upon the rock-monster-skeleton-floor.

Agent Nessie huddled around his rock-warmers, trying hard to get into a more comfortable position. Whereas Agent Tuna-ghost went the other route, and waited for her rocks to warm the spot that she was going to sleep in. She had to add more rocks, but eventually had a large enough space with decent warmth. She added a few more beside her as she slept, and gradually faded off to dream-land as the rest of their group continued talking.

Although the Tallest -mainly Tallest Purple- had wanted to get the Food-gatherers' group organized, that just really didn't seem to be happening. And so they continued on like this in relative peace and quiet for a long while; and Dib wondered to Lard-nar if this planet's nights were just as long as its days, or an irregular amount, which would become apparent and irritating as their lengthened stay continued. Lard-nar just kicked him in the shin -'cause he was close enough- and told him to wait to find out, then turned his head to the clouds and sighed.

Dib finally succumbed to his own boredom, and stared up at the few parting clouds in the hopes that looking at those improbably-bright stars would occupy his mind. It didn't work very well, but at least no one else was freaking out, or trying to make everyone eat strange things, or getting angry about stuff... It also didn't help that he couldn't even start up a conversation to find out what Tak was so mad about. The faint wisps of clouds passed by, and some -Ploopoh and Lard-nar, especially- looked up eagerly when the sky lightened, only to be disappointed when they found out it was only the remaining clouds drifting past. They all moaned and flopped into their sitting-positions once again. It was hard and tired, and the more the night wore on, the colder it got. Dib faintly realized that he was shivering, but he always shivered without his coat -it was like his own skin, camouflage- or something.

Tak just rolled her eyes. It almost made her want to laugh when he was thinking about that. But then she realized that the Almighty Tallest might want to be in on the joke, and question her about it. She instead looked down at the dirt which was still slightly covering some of their soil-monster's skeleton, and wondered about whether or not they'd have to find some way to clean this place.

Darn-it, she was thinking like a Janitor! 'Stop it, stupid Janitoral Training Course! Stop being in existence in my stupid head!'

She wouldn't normally call herself stupid, except that thinking about cleaning stuff when she hated cleaning was essentially stupid in its own right. And so she continued telling herself not to think about thinking about that kind of stuff.

The Author was tired, and so this scene has been accelerated to ...PUNCH-LINE! Well, no, actually, not. Dang-it! Not even the Author could get out of this terribly-long-chapter re-occurrence which had been happening since chapter 4 of PSYCH-OUT!

Dib looked up frequently to check if the sun had come up yet. Nope, it was still dark out. They'd all taken to some form of entertainment or another, and the Almighty Tallest were updating their puppet-show, forcing Tak and Sploods to try and build the stage-set. Dib knew that Tak must be tired from mentally keeping everyone calm, but he also couldn't be too concerned. She'd been a real jerk to him, and he decided that if she got too tired, it was probably better to let her stew in her own juices because of it. But, he shifted in his seat upon one of the soil-monster's skeleton knees, and then finally succumbed to helping. Besides, the other aliens had gotten tired of chatting, and he wasn't getting anything done just by sitting there. He was ready to help with at least something fun.

As the idle hours passed, they eventually looked up to see the first graying rays of sunlight. Then the fogginess of the gray steam which rose up from the jungle eventually covered the sky, obscuring all except for the most powerful beams of light. "Wow, that's not really much of a sunrise," stated Dib as they all turned to observe it.

"Well, what'd you expect?!" Stated Vrilly as Tak mentally told him the same thing.

"Well, there goes our puppet-show!" Moaned Tallest Purple, putting down one of his puppets as he stared up at the sunrise.

"Yeah, well, don't worry! We'll probably be here for quite a while..." Tallest Red's reassurance gave way to even more moaning as he stopped to consider how many of this planet's days they'd have to be stranded there. And then he said to Sploods, "You'd better be just as good at your Heckaweographing as you_ say_ you are!"

"_Really_, please say you've at least got _some_thing~!" Tak slightly moaned.

"Well...eh, I'll need to get a much better vantage-point during the night for some study, but I'll be able to pin-point exactly where once I can identify the few key stars within this area." Sploods offered. He knew that it wasn't very much to go on, but, really! What could they expect when he didn't have a full view of the stars?!

"REALLY!?" Exclaimed Tallest Red. "You've had the entire night, and you've STILL only gotten that far?!"

"I know, and, I'm sorry, Sirs! But, now that it's day-light, we can scout around and find a safe hill-top for me to make my observations! I really can't observe much if I can't get out from under this rock-monster." Replied Sloods respectfully; he still didn't want to upset his leaders, even if they were being very unreasonable regarding this.

"Soil-monster," corrected Vrilly.

"Right, that's what I meant," said Sploods.

"Alright, then the next night, I'll put you on top of this soil-monster's skeleton so that you can make more accurate observations," Tak was annoyed, but she was at least thinking proactively. That was a far cry from the Almighty Tallest, who'd given up proactivity in exchange for more enjoyable endeavors. Not that they minded, anyways.

"Right! ...Then you can't come down until you've at least pin-pointed which side of the galaxy we're on!" Replied Tallest Red with a slight smirk. Tallest Purple looked up from his own puppet and sighed.

"We'll have to wait a whole other day for our shadow-puppets! *Moans* Now what are we supposed to do?!" Tallest Purple toyed with the flower-eye in his Wannol, the Wandering Minstrel puppet's head. "We'll have to re-design the whole theater again..."

"Ulgh!" Dib moaned as he leaned his head back. "Man, getting that paper-like substance from those trees was hard work! Who knew that that bark could bend like that!?"

"Only whenever it hit _your head_," remarked Tak as she snickered.

"Yeah!" Vrilly laughed too. She had been about to mention that. "Or that you and your head could FLY _that far_!"

The others started to laugh, remembering the experience. Even Dib laughed a little bit, if only to keep them from teasing him about it once more. Tak had to go out into the jungle to get him and bring him back. By the time they'd gotten back, they were so beaten up, stung, and swollen, that everyone thought they were some sort of hideous creatures from the jungle and tried beating them back! It wasn't until Tak had shouted at the top of her lungs that they recognized her. That was kind-of funny, if you think about it. Thankfully, no one was really hurt, other than being completely beat up and dirty.

"And...for our next order of business...!" Stated Tallest Red as he was suddenly reminded of the fact, "SOAP! 'Cause, no offense, but you guys stink. Horrible."

"Gulgh! Finally!" Moaned Dib. Tak just nodded.

"I can't wait," she replied. Then wondered what kind of prank to pull on Dib. He still hadn't suffered enough, and she wanted to torture him completely before he found out exactly what he was being tortured for.

"Good!" Replied Tallest Purple, "'Cause, I wasn't gonna' say anything, but, uh...if you weren't going to clean yourselves, then I was considering just throwing you in the fire!" Tallest Red just rolled his eyes at the other Almighty Tallests' lack of tact. So he bopped him in the head. "Ow! Hey, what was that for?!" Tallest Red poked him this time and Tallest Purple continued, "Whaa~aaat?! You know you were thinking it! And besides," one more bop, "Uf! We've already gotten to know each other well enough-OUWWWCH!" He rubbed at his arm, "WILL YOU _STOP THAT_?!"

"WHAT?! It's not like_ you_ don't do it! What's wrong when I start something!?" Tallest Red Exclaimed suddenly.

"But, I'm still trying to work on my puppet..." moaned Tallest Purple, as he showed the puppet he still clutched in his hands, "It's all wrinkled now, and I think it even gave Wannol a chin and a nose...!"

Tallest Red simply punched him again.

"OUWCH!"

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

TIME:

There are now 18 imaginary hours unaccounted for! Whoo-whoo-wheee~! In other words, don't mind those time-jumps -they don't exist in the actual timing of the story. You know...just for those of you who, like me, tend to nit-pick this story~! I don't know if those people actually exist, but I sure do! ...Wait a minute, DO I?! Oh, well! I'll just continue on like I always do. I feel real enough as it is, no need to do anything different to confirm my own existence...! Well, aside from talking to other people once in a while...my mind's been so off-track lately...what were we talking about, again~?!

HECKAWEOGRAPHER: Have you ever heard the story of the Heckawee Indians? Really? No?! Then, allow me to regale you, as told to me by an Indian guy himself:

There was this one tribe that was traveling. They went over hills and plains, but eventually, when they came to a valley, the Chief held up his hand and told them to stop. He then turned around, looked at his tribe, and said, "Where the HECK ARE WE?!"

And, thusly, from a silly old joke, comes the mighty and useful job of the Heckaweographer! *Laughs* I really had you goin', didn't I?

Or, not, if you've already heard the joke, or a similar one!...

ANYTHING ELSE: Can't really think of anything else for this. I had told myself that the chapters would be kind-of short, and yet here I am, exceeding 20,000 words again~! *Sighs* I just don't think that I'm capable of writing anything short! Or, at the very least, I just LIKE writing novels~! And, anyways, I really enjoy this "Dib and Tak's Awesome Adventures", and I'm just so please that I'm almost to the GOOD PARTS! Well, there's still a lot of fun stuff in between there, though, like, *Laughs* making LYE SOAP! *Snickers and rolls around on the ground, pounding it and giggling.*

THE SMELLS! *Snickers even more, causing people to start wondering. Then backing away...*

Sos, stay tuned, the next installment should come about pretty-quick, since I've already got some of the bathing stuff written! (Isn't it amazing that the really exciting scenes were cut short, and that this entire time, we've just had random conversations which were much more fun for me to write than they were for any hard-core Invader Zim fan to read?! Huh? Huh?! HUH!? Whelp, it's not like I'ma doin' this for the recognition!)

If I did want recognition, wouldn't I care a lot more about reviews?!

Speaking of which, in the same old fashion of the Hillbilly's "Y'all come back now, y'hear?!" I'ma say the Fan-fiction dot net goodbye! Pretty-please, Read and Review~!


	4. Food Day is a Very Dangerous Day

DISCLAIMER: I still don't own the thing, why do you peoples keep asking such silly questions?!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: One word: BATHING. Some other words: CLEANLINESS. CATS. CORSAGES. CORSICANS. And MUNG-CROMGNPS. Not all necessarily in the story or in that same order...!

And now, on with the show~! Pretty-please, R+R!

* * *

**CHAPTER 4: "You've got pants, right? Right!"**

* * *

The words cleanliness and bathing usually denote good things. That was not the case in this place. There was hardly any reason to doubt that it would be as horrible and awful as their previous experiences had been. First, they had a variety of different alien species, who all cleaned themselves in different ways. Some with more technological ones than others. So they couldn't possibly determine what to do in these primitive circumstance, so far away from their ordinary technology and homes. Then, there was the smell. Oh, ho, ho, what kind of smells were those smells!

"-And I'm telling you that you smell exactly like a horned horm-elisterits!" Tallest Purple was conversing with Dib about exactly what and how bad he smelled.

"And that's why I'M saying that we need to get some sort of animal, so that we can take its fats and boil 'em to make a lye soap! Or, at the very least, perhaps there's some minerals in the rocks around here we can use!" Replied Dib insistently.

They'd finally remembered how to make soap -for the humans, that is- after a long conversation, which went something like this...

"So, which one of us knows how to make soap?" Asked Vick as she surveyed the rest. "I mean, _I_ sure don't!"

"Uh...I'm not so sure...if we're making it with lye, then...yeah, we might be able to do it...!" Said Dib, sweatdropping as he rubbed the back of his head. He'd tried to wipe himself off as best he could, but he really couldn't remove very much of whatever it was both he and Tak had gotten into. The two remained a sticky, dark, matted, mess.

"I'm not so sure, either...! Sheesh, I used to know this!" Exclaim-mumbled Nessie as he re-examined his coat. It might not ever return to its original color, but he'd kind-of like to at least have it washed.

"What?!" Asked Vick and Dib at almost the same time.

"Why would you have known- I mean, really?!" Asked Dib, confused, as he rubbed at his forehead. He'd been tortured mentally by Tak after making some sort of snide comment, and it still made his head hurt thinking about it. Mental torture. It was hard to top, that.

"Well, yeah...!" Then Agent Nessie Bonnie Shaftoe Bluebell started giggling, "Ah, now I remember!... I did use it once, to fill this guy's room full of soap in college! *Laughs* Good gravy, has it already been that long ago...?!" He smirked and trailed off.

"Well, that makes sense!" Dib replied thoughtfully. "I guess if you can remember some kind of formula, then we can figure out something..."

"Wh-why would you do that?!" Asked Lard-nar, although he was pretty sure that he already knew the answer. As if on cue, both Dib and Agent Nessie responded.

"It was COLLEGE!" As if that explained it. The others just stared at them and blinked. Apparently higher-learning institutions didn't always carry the very same ideals as Earth's, in outer-space.

"Why...?!" Asked Vrilly, who had her hand up. The typical "raising of one's hand to ask a question" had still been in effect, even when the Almighty Tallest were no longer insisting on it. It was just that viral.

"Huh...?!" Asked Agent Nessie, like he hadn't even been anticipating that kind of a question. "Well...uhhh...since it was college, and, uh...we were in a frat-boy kind of group... We usually just played pranks and stuff like that on the Freshmen..."

"Uh...right..." replied Vrilly, not even sure what to make of all of that. The Almighty Tallest snickered about something, and even Tak had to smile. Dib wondered what she was thinking about, but she seemed to think it was funnier to keep him waiting. Agent Nessie just shrugged a little bit and made a weak little smile.

"Well, if you can remember enough of it, then perhaps we can experiment to make sure, it's, you know...safe?" Replied Vick slowly. She really didn't know all that much, but she did know that lye could be really harsh on the skin!

"I guess, but we'd have to be extra-careful," stated Dib, rubbing the back of his head again. It wasn't due to his normal personality, though. His head just really itched...!

"Yeah, lye's dangerous stuff," agreed Agent Nessie. "I remember getting burnt a couple of times when we were dumpin' it in the water, because we used the powdered kind, you know, like, the actual mineral?"

"Wait, you mean, you use the 'lye' to make a chemical reaction with the hydrogen-oxygen liquid!?" Exclaimed Lard-nar. He was suddenly and surprisingly interested.

"And, you're talking about _that_ kind, not any _other_ kind?" Asked his mother.

Dib, Nessie, and Vick all looked at one another, then shrugged accordingly. "Well, yeah! I mean, what other kind of lye is there?"

"Well, you can actually also make it by boiling animal fats...or so I remember from my dad's show...but it was so long ago that I forgot how to actually make it...!" Replied Dib as he looked up thoughtfully with a finger on his chin.

"Well, yeah, I didn't mean it like that, it's just that, well, oh, pphhtsph! You know~!" Said Nessie with a wave of his hand as he gave up explaining his own words.

"Suddenly, I'm very worried," stated Tak simply. Just as if she wanted everyone else to know. "It's not enough that we _already_ smell bad, but now you're going to tell us to go out there and catch an animal so that we can tear its fats out and boil them up just so you can make_ soap_?!"

"Uh...well, unless we can find something else...?" Mumbled Dib as he cringed at her anger mentally directed at him. Even though the rest of them only saw her calm and collected exterior, and her psychic ability was not directed at anyone else.

"I guess we could try and find some mineral lye! I think that would be great!" Replied Agent Nessie, holding a finger up. "'Cause, that's how I-" This was suddenly cut short by Tallest Red shoving his head into the conversation.

"You mean to tell us that you're going to make something that smells even MORE horrible!?" Apparently this comment of Nessie's hadn't registered yet, but since he'd been a little preoccupied setting up the new puppet theater, this was understandable.

"What?! No! Didn't you hear what he just said?" Asked Vick as she pointed at Agent Nessie.

And, thusly, we are led all the way back to where we were when we first started!

And you thought I'd give up on all of these looong and random and annoying conversations~!

"Eventually, we're all gonna' have to do something," commented Ploopoh finally, "I mean, for one thing, we _all_ need some sort of cleansing things, and we've _all_ got to help if we're going to get anywhere!" Then he pointed to Crystal, "She's a Mineralalien, so she can help any of us who need to find minerals and such. Am I right?"

Crystal just sighed and shrugged, "Well, even though I do know a lot about them, I really only know enough to eat and survive on another planet. I'm not exactly a geologist!" But, then she added, "Though, knowing all of that, I could at least try. I just have to know what we're looking for."

"And I can stand guard here while Crystal accompanies the others in that group," stated Throbulator, holding his head up high, the very epitome of dependability.

"Alright, so who wants to go?" Asked Tallest Red as he stared the group down.

"..." Dib's open mouth was shut as Tallest Purple glared at him.

"_Not_ anyone who'll draw the danger _towards_ them!" He warned with an evil eye menacing in all of its evility.

"Oohhh~!" Pouted Dib as he folded his arms. "Pooh!"

"Of course, I've got the scanner. So I'll be going," stated Tak with a resigned sigh. It wasn't like she wanted to do all that work.

"If they can gather it themselves, then you'll be more useful helping with the food;" Tallest Purple said, turning to look at her.

"That's not going to happen with those minerals unless we get some tools," stated Lard-nar. Although he'd been awfully quiet about it, he wasn't going to let this chance escape from him. "I've got a couple of things on me, but they're not that sturdy enough to be used on rocks."

"For the love o-LOOK AROUND YOU!" Exclaimed Tallest Red. "You're on an_ alien planet_! If you haven't got tools, then you'll MAKE tools!" He put a hand to his head, then removed it to continue, "You've got other kinds of rocks, and who knows! Maybe there's other kinds of stuff that we can use!"

"Well...now that I think of it, aren't there other things that we're gonna' want? Like, I don't know...puohsh..." Vrilly started, thinking with a finger on her chin. "Baskets or bowls or something? And what about clothes? I don't mind telling you that my clothes by now probably stink!" The others nodded at this.

"Well, since the rest of us aren't doing anything, why don't we work on making some of that stuff!" Agreed Lasch-mik.

"Oooh! I'm good with handicrafts, so I can work on weaving!" Replied Vick enthusiastically. She was glad to finally have something to do with her time.

"Good! Then, while you're at it, why don't you make me some shoes?" Asked Nessie, who received a good punch in the arm for it.

"I'm going to regret this, but those strips of stuff that we took from the bark of that tree will probably help, too," added Dib with a bit of a pout and a sigh. Tak agreed mentally and sighed inwardly.

"We'll need some rope, too!" Added Lard-nar. "As well as a few tools. Maybe we could make some weapons, as well...?" He'd trailed off thoughtfully.

"Okay!" Ordered Lasch-mik, "Vick, Vrilly, Clasps, Big-headed Dib, and The Almighty Tallests will all work on making tools and stuff! The rest will be heading out to look for food, and minerals, and anything else that we might need. Everyone got it?" The Tallest stared and balked as she talked.

"Hey! I thought _we_ were the ones giving the orders!" Commented Tallest Purple, pointing at her.

"Yeah, _I'm_ the one who got everyone organized!" Replied Tallest Red, giving the other Tallest a little push.

"_Well_, is it necessarily a BAD idea?" Asked Lasch-mik, leaning her head over toward them. They had to admit, it made the most sense. "So! That's settled! Anyone else have any ideas?"

"Hey! I'ma float up there on top of that rock to see what's what and where!" Exclaimed Shloonktapooxis suddenly. He started floating up there.

"Hey, wait! I'm coming! I'm the Heckaweographer!" Exclaimed Sploods as he hopped to his feet. Tak ground her teeth and rolled her eyes. She just knew she'd end up carrying him up there. The Tallest saw that and commented.

"Well?!" Asked Tallest Purple.

"Go on and haul his wimpy butt up there!" Added Tallest Red.

"Of course, Sirs...!" Tak almost moaned, before grabbing the waiting Sploods around his torso and extending her PAK-legs to crawl up the skeleton of their beloved soil-monster camp-site over-hang.

"Good, now set me dow-oof!" Sploods' voice came from above, as Shloonktapooxis was whistling at the apparent view from up above.

"Hey, wow! You've got to see this, Sir!" Shouted Shloonktapooxis. "It's absolutely _amazin'_!"

"What?! What's up there?!" Exclaimed Lard-nar. For once, he was actually annoyed at not being able to float like a Hefeemalian. Well, for twice, actually... Okay, this was actually the third time, but that's unimportant!

"Don't worry, I'm cataloging everything; I'll send it so you can see it." Came Sploods' slightly unusual reply. Vick curiously commented on it.

"Wait, how's he going to send it-" her question was cut off as Tak appeared to have heard her.

"ELECTRONICALLY!" She shouted down to them.

Tallest Red's PAK silently beeped, as did Tallest Purple's, and they both responded by pulling out their screens. Tallest Red busily examined the screen; Tallest Purple was more enthusiastic about showing everyone. "Hey, look, everybody! It's Sploods' camera-view!"

Everyone shuffled over to the screen to view what was on it. "It's a total panoramic!" Exclaimed Vrilly, then she covered her mouth, almost in embarrassment.

"Yeah...please don't shout in my ear," replied Tallest Purple. They were almost all hovering around his screen. Since Tallest Red seemed most likely to become annoyed at that kind of stuff. The others promptly ignored his pleas.

"HEY! Wait, what's that thing over there!?" Exclaimed Ploopoh.

"I think I see where the mountains seem to end!" Exclaimed Lard-nar.

"Where's the -er, where's the 'water' stuff?" Asked Lasch-mik, a little more quietly than the others.

"There's some rivers! But, we can't use that. We have to use the stuff in the puddles," replied Vick.

"Where's the magnetic-tarsisus?!" Asked Tarky. "'Cause Clasps and I are gonna' wanna' clean ourselves!"

"But, well..." Started Clasps. She didn't want to mention that she didn't like cleansing herself with magnetic-tarsisus.

"I think there was some mannygins in some of that fruit we had," stated Vrilly. "Lasch-mik commented on it."

"Well, yes, but it'll have to be cleaned out..." Lasch-mik was saying.

"Wait, how are we going to make it to that mountain without it crushing us?" Asked Lard-nar. "I thought you guys said that it was sentient!"

"It was! That's why I was trying to tell you that-" started Ploopoh.

"Will somebody please get everyone OFF OF ME!?" Moaned Tallest Purple, barely audible underneath the sounds of the others.

"Hey, Tak, get on down here." Stated Tallest Red, and conveyed electronically. He waited. "...Oh, Ta~aak! What's taking her so -" he didn't have to wait any longer, as the shrieks and screams coming from up above seemed to indicate the reason.

Yep, it was them berds. Er, them _birds_. Please pardon the Author's silly English. The BIRDS, those BIRD-THINGIES which they encountered on their very first day there -called birds only because of their brief resemblance to those things which we have on Earth- were attacking the ones up on top of the soil-monster's skeleton. The shrieking continued as they combated them, before Shloonktapooxis caught himself inexplicably in one of the birds' mouths, and then Tak had to shoot some sort of laser-thingy at them to get him out. The rest was running and shrieking, until they'd found a way to get down without being noticed. This included blasting all of the bird-things in the nose. Exactly in the nose. Every last one of them.

"Phew~!" Sploods was shaking and shivering. "D-don't let me go back up there until night-time!" He was saying as Shloonktapooxis floated by, looking slightly singed, but none-the-worse for wear. Sploods apparently was very well-adapted to his life as an adviser, and he only survived because of his mad scramble down the soil-monster's skeleton.

Tak walked by, giving a casual blow to the end of a gun, looking very relaxed and calm. Apparently, she'd blown off some steam with that last battle. 'Just be glad that it wasn't you,' she thought in Dib's direction, then added, 'Or your head!'

"Yeeesh, Sploods, what's the problem?! You're shakin' all over like a little smeet sent to the back end of the machinery-factory!" Came Tallest Purple's snide reply. Tallest Red wasn't quite so condescending, though.

"Maybe you could just hide out with some camouflage for cover while you admire the stars, tonight?" He suggested, twisting the fabric he'd had into a kind of un-serpentine knot of some sort. Used for whatever puppet-show they had planned, to be sure.

"Well, at least we have some idea of our surroundings, now," replied Lasch-mik with a long sigh. The Almighty Tallest turned to look at her as if it was all her fault, even though it -most likely- wasn't. "Ah, well, he can help us work at making some of this stuff," she said as she pointed to the materials they'd gotten assembled before them.

* * *

It had taken so long for them to start thinking proactively, but once they'd done it, most of the problems they had with each other dissolved into minor little spats and disagreements.

"So, when we all get cleaned, what are we going to wear?" Asked Ploopoh as he helped in the struggle to twist some bark from a plant into a length of rope-like stuff. "And...I seriously think that we need to find new stuff! This just won't work!"

"I've got the spears and the sling-shots ready," commented Lard-nar. "Now all that's left is the tools to carve at the rock."

"I really think we're gonna' need to make at least some kind of simple coverings. I mean, even if I can weave those plant-fibers, that still doesn't mean that there'll be enough for everybody's clothes," Vick was saying as she attempted to weave a strong enough guide-line to make her own shorts. She realized that she'd also be stuck making a lot of other peoples' clothes, and even cringed at the idea of making measurements.

"Heh, heh, yeah, I doubt that anyone here wants to wear the same filthy clothes!" Replied Ploopoh. Although originally on the food-gathering team, they'd decided that they'd make much better time if they constructed some stuff to use before venturing outside of their campsite once more. Hence the reason why he was currently trying to entwine twine.

"We're huu~ungry~!" Moaned Tallest Purple. He and Tallest Red were indeed helping, to do other stuff than just making a puppet-theater. They helped make the weapons.

"Come on, hurry it up!" Added Tallest Red. "We haven't got all the time in this world!"

"ReLAX!" Shouted Vick in annoyance. "Yeesh!"

Agent Nessie Moaned. "I'm trying to tie this, and the only thing I can think of is food! I need to EAT!" Dib just nodded as he tried his hardest to extract his finger from a hardened bit of black stuff that had come from a tree of some sort. It wasn't working.

"Bahh! Well, I'm done," commented Starky as he put down his bit of wood he had been carving, "I'm not doing _anything_ else!"

"Whuh?!" Exclaimed Lasch-mik as she stopped by to view his work, "You haven't hardly done anything at _all_! Keep it up! We're gonna' need bowls, too, you know!"

"Yeah, and some plates!" Replied Vrilly. Despite all courtesy, his noncompliance was a severe inconvenience.

"Man, I wish _I_ was goin' out to collect some food or minerals!" Moaned Dib after Tak had extracted his hand from the black stuff that they had decided to use as adhesive.

"Hah! Yeah, and then you'll lead all of the danger TO US, and then we'll have to extract your head from some kind of, uh..." Crystal started, but had to stop because she couldn't think of anything pithy to end it with.

"_Another_ enormously-fat guy's stomach!" Ended Vick, which gave everyone a giggle.

"Gggrrr!" Dib groaned and moaned as he dropped his head down and went back to work.

"We should really find some kind of materials for making plastey-buckets," said Clasps. She was currently working on the weaving stuff, but it seemed to be in everyone's best interests to come up with ideas and stuff, so...

"Well, yeah, sure! If you can find anything," stated Tallest Red. He wasn't really sure where to start for that kind of stuff.

"Hey, wait, what are 'plastey-buckets'?" Asked Agent Nessie as they fiddled with twisting fibers and stuff.

"It's a type of wood-weaving, that's made by taking long, thin strips of wood and pasting them together over a mold. Then, when the paste dries, it's good to use as a bucket to hold all kinds of things in." Replied Lard-nar as he fiddled with something that looked like an odd version of a bow.

"Oh! I see," was all Nessie said.

"I've seen those! They're really neat!" Replied Vrilly as she attempted to put some petal-like leaves on her "shirt" that she was making. It wasn't working.

"Oh, wait! I think I have one of those!" Vick exclaimed suddenly, "Or something like it! I use it as a fruit-bowl!"

As everyone was giving her a strange look, mostly wondering why on Earth any Earthling would have something similar, Dib held up his weird barky-type-stuff and said to everyone, "Hey! What about _this_ stuff?! Woah, woah!" He promptly then fell over and became plastered with it. It took about an hour for them to pry him off. Afterwards, they examined it with excitement.

"Wow, hey, this stuff really would work for plastey-buckets!" Commented Vrilly.

"Yeah, but what kind of wood are we going to use to make it?" Asked Ploopoh.

"What about this?" Asked Dib, holding up another long strip of yellow-whitish-looking bark. He peeled some of the extra stuff off of it, to reveal a very nice, flat-looking piece of wood. "Look, it just needs to be peeled off!"

"Plus, it comes from the exact same tree, and, as we discovered earlier, only requires heat to dissolve its stickiness." Added Tak as she shuddered at the thought. She and Dib would have to both somehow heat their entire bodies -or else hope that their hand-made soaps could do the job for them. That was a long ways away, fortunately and unfortunately.

"Good! Then Ploopoh and Starky can get to work on doing that kind of stuff," Vrilly replied as she pointed to the two of them. Although Lasch-mik had more than likely become the Secondary Group Organizer, it was Vrilly who seemed to be taking charge of the handicrafts. Not that any of the others were concerned, at this point.

"FINALLY!" Exclaimed Starky. "Now I won't have to carve any bowls!"

"Not unless they wind up being toxic," Sploods suddenly raised a finger and made a most disturbing comment.

"D'OH!" Almost everyone exclaimed. It was a classic Simpsons' moment. One that I'm sure everyone would be most proud of, if they ever care to read it.

"I'll check again to make sure," came Tak's reassuring comment.

After a few moments of checking, she lifted her head up from the screen and said, "Nope, only Starky will be allergic to it."

"Whoo!" and an "Aaarrrggeee!" erupted from the audience at once.

"Why is it _I'm_ the only one who's allergic to it?!" Exclaimed Starky as he gripped the air dramatically.

"Because, you have an Impomimpom allergy." Was Tak's simple reply. "And, although it's not the very same as that product, it does contain the materials that will be most reactive with your skin. So you'd better steer clear of it. All of that tree, in fact."

"D'OH! I knew that ancient vat incident would come back to haunt me! I just KNEW it!" Starky hung his head and sighed.

And for once, what he'd just mentioned made everybody interested. Despite the fact that he kind-of had the reputation for telling the most boring stories. They pestered him until he caved in.

"Well, it all started when I worked at a-" somebody interrupted Starky's story.

"I'm sorry, but will this take long? We've got to head out and look for food before we all starve to death," commented Lard-nar. Then, jerking his thumb at the Tallest behind him, he said, "Plus, these two are getting restless, and I don't think we want their _violent boredom_ turned on us!" The others remembered the Almighty Tallests' "fist-fights" from earlier, and agreed with him.

"Okay, I'll tell the abridged version," replied Starky, clearing his throat. He paused for a second before he began talking, "I was about fourty-four when I worked at this minealts factory -for those of you who don't know, that's just barely out of adolescence for my people- and they had this really, really old storage room. I was really fond of prowling around in there, even though I was just supposed to be cleaning the tubes from the old mining salts and stuff they'd put in 'em.

"Long story short, I got a little spooked one day while I was walking on this thin catwalk, and I tumbled down into one of the vats~!" Starky then moaned and hung his head. "I was in there for a while, just treading minealts minerals, or whatever was left in there -I don't know how long- before they finally found how to get me out!" He moaned once again and added a face-palm, "It was the worst moment in my life~!"

"There was Impomimpom inside one of the minealts vats?" Was Tak's obvious question. Quite aware that the Earthlings didn't even know what it was, she instead decided to refrain from explaining it right now.

"I know! I'm not really sure why, either!" Replied Starky, pulling his head up out of his hands.

"Impomimpom is, uh, a commercial food-product," Lard-nar was able to summarize before any of the Earthlings asked.

The Earthlings all nodded their heads in understanding. "Then, why was it-" Dib's question, remarkably quiet for one of his, was invariably interrupted, as Vick told him to "Shhh!" He just turned away and decided to be done with it, once and for all. Or, at least until he felt like it.

"Alright, who's going in the food-gathering group?!" Asked Tallest Red as he hovered up, surveying them all. "And you'd better be awfully good at running!"

"Well, I'm going," Crystal commented, though it was already decided upon. "As will Throbulator. This camp-site doesn't look too dangerous in terms of safety, and so the most useful thing would be to protect ourselves against wild alien animals once we're out there. We don't want the food to get lost or spoiled," she added this last part especially to please the Almighty Tallest, who weren't likely to change their plan without such a reason.

"Tak will be able to guard everyone until we get back. We won't be going far," Throbulator added, just to make sure it flew.

"Right! Right! That makes total and perfect sense!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple, eager to finally get down to the food.

"Yes, of course," Tallest Red replied, looking somewhat bored. "Whatever! Just as long as whoever you're taking along can keep up with you."

"Well, I'm going!" Said Starky, "I'm looking forward to getting up and moving about!"

"Are you sure you can move fast enough in that, eh, really long robe?" Asked Vick, pointing at his outfit.

"Huh?!" Asked Starky as he looked down at himself.

"I'm going, as well," said Lard-nar. "But, of course, you already know that."

"I'm going, too!" Said Ploopoh, "So that makes five of us!"

"Do you want anyone else?" Asked Nessie, looking up from his rope-twisting. It was now going remarkably well, all things considered: like the fact that they didn't even really know how to make it in the first place!

"It worked well enough before," Starky had mentioned in reply to Tak's comment, "I mean, I'm still _alive_!"

"Nah, we're good," replied Lard-nar, "But, we'll need your coat once again -you know, as a food-tarp."

Nessie pulled up his coat, still twisted into a little ball for use as a pillow, and then tossed it at him. "Here! Have at it! Heh heh, yeesh! I wonder if it'll ever be white again~?" He asked with a bit of a nervous laugh.

"Not very likely," Vick, Vrilly, Dib, Tak, and Clasps had all chimed it at exactly the same time, and the effect was oddly-surreal. They laughed a bit in nervousness as they all looked embarrassed, even the ones who hadn't said it, and looked around.

After that little bit of creepiness was done with, they got back to the point. "Alright, we'll go by time. Everyone can only spend a few hours out there at a time -that is, including the time it takes in case you get lost. Making marks along your way will help you find your way back. In the meantime," Tak was completely in her planning-mode, "We'll continue making the things we need here. Your weapons may be a little bit useful, but be careful! They could also just be sharp, pointy sticks."

While everyone wondered about that last comment, it was apparent that the spears, sling-shots, and alien-looking bows that they'd built for the occasion just didn't do the same kind of damage as a gun would. But, they didn't have any choice.

"Then, we'll be heading out!" Stated Crystal as she, Throbulator, Starky, Lard-nar, and Ploopoh walked towards the edge of the jungle. They stopped a minute and stared out into the dense vegetation.

They took a deep breath.

"TALLY-HOOOO!" Shouted Lard-nar, leading them off with an English-accented charge. The group left behind just looked at each other, and shrugged.

* * *

The group was making some head-way on the tools, but Tak was having second thoughts. "Mmumni...!" She moaned as she thought to herself. "I should be heading out to gather things, like the stuff to make soap! Not just sitting around here, doing nothing!..." She trailed off as she noticed the others, and especially Dib, paying attention to what she mumbled.

While the others seemed to understand her feelings, like Tarky, Dib had another idea.

"It's not like you can't _help_!" He stated as he stared poutily at her, "I mean, it might not be peaceful enough forever, so helping us while you can would be really, uh...helpful!"

"Well, yeah, but she's also supposed to be keeping look-out," commented Lasch-mik, surprising everybody. "That's kind-of why she standing around!" Lasch-mik did not usually take Tak's side, so this must've been some kind of self-preservation thing. Or something, was all Tak could figure out.

"I really don't want to have to '_help_' any more than I already have," Tak shot Dib a glare, "But, I _suppose_ I can stay alert while I weave myself some clothes...!" As she sat down next to him, she gave a full mental report of how much help she'd actually been, until Dib just covered his ears and shouted.

"Alright, al_right_! I don't want to _hear_ it!" He uncovered his ears to get back to making the thin rope. That they'd invariably use for something, no doubt. Probably for making pants, no doubt.

Another long while passed. While the humans and ourselves have no idea what the Irkens' idea of "a few hours" was, they were quite well-aware of their growing hunger and painfully-dry throats. "Maa~an!" Moaned Agent Nessie as he laid his head down on his arm. He looked almost passed out. "Mmm...! Is this what an old prospector dying in the desert feels like...?!" The aliens turned to look at him.

"What?" Asked Vrilly quietly. Lasch-mik wasn't so quiet.

"Hey, what's the matter with him?" She asked, loud enough that anyone standing outside of their little camp-site could hear it.

"My mouth is so dry...!" Nessie moaned pitifully.

"Anyone with half a brain can see what's wrong with us!" Moaned Vick as she, too, lost her focus and leaned against a rock she was sitting by.

It took Lasch-mik half a second to realize, "OH! I get it!" She announced, but didn't elaborate.

"What?!" Vrilly asked suddenly. The others who weren't dying of thirst or shouting jumped a little at her vocalization.

"If they're thirsty, then that means that they need some of that 'water', right?" Lasch-mik summed up, tired of having to be the brains. So far, she'd had to teach several different techniques, all at Vrilly's coaching. For some reason, she found herself following Vrilly's every command when it came to the crafting of tools. It was weird...but, that's a different story. Right now, they were talking about the humans' thirst for water, right?

"Yeeaaa~hhhssshh!" Moaned Vick, relieved that someone had finally grasped the concept.

"Humans can't live very long without it," replied Nessie very calmly. It might either be because he was exhausted, or because he'd come to accept his plight...or because he knew that the group going for food should be back. But, in reality, it was, "Tak, _please_ take us to the water-puddles! I can't stand it!"

"What!? It's that vital?!" Exclaimed Lasch-mik. With everything that was going on, she'd been too distracted to remember what they'd said about it to begin with.

"Yeah. It's even more vital than the food," replied Nessie quite quietly.

"Hey, that reminds me: Dib, how come you aren't that affected, yet?" Vick asked with some envy.

"I'm not;" Dib replied in the double-negative for a positive, "I'm just too tired to whine about it." He didn't even bother with the fact that, now that Tak was helping them with the tools, he didn't want to make her unnecessarily angry. It was just his survival instinct. And not a Mothman survival instict.

"You've been pointlessly fiddling with making that string for the past hour or so," replied Tak simply, "Your concentration is definitely shot." She was sitting beside him simply because she'd been working with similar materials, but she didn't move farther away, even when she had to gather some more to construct other stuff. Oh, well, that probably wasn't that important.

"Ugh!" Exclaimed Dib as he finally got fed up with waiting, "What's taking so long?!"

"Well, they've been gone past the prescribed time I set for them," replied Tak, finally standing up. "And, with what kind of dangers lie in wait out there, it's only natural that they'd be in trouble," then she paused to look down again at the humans. "Oh, and I won't leave the Almighty Tallest until someone else comes to guard them." She pulled out her scanner and looked over the panoramic view Sploods had sent them, and mumbled, "It's not like you'd make it all the way out there to the puddles, anyhow."

"What!?" Exclaimed Vrilly, just for Vick's sake. After all, Vick herself was too tired to do nothing but moan. "But they'll _die_! Or, at least, look really, really, like shriveled vegetables!"

"Eeew," replied Vick, "Thanks for that mental blow to my vain...ness, or something...Vrilly..."

"Uhhh...right! I mean, sorry!" Vrilly replied sheepishly. "I just meant that, it's really mean!"

"Gggrrr!" Moaned Agent Nessie in annoyance, since he was too exhausted to really get angry, "This place is safe enough that even Dib hasn't drawn any danger! You could at least step out for a few minutes to get us a drink!"

"That's not necessarily true," Tak responded in clipped tones, "It's an unidentified planet with almost completely unidentifiable wildlife. It's also apparent that none of you have the training _or_ alliance necessary to guard the Almighty Tallest in the case of my absence; if you have a complaint, you'll have to take it up with them. I'm going to continue doing my job, and I don't care if you shrivel like a pathetic little vegetable-meat-products from your own planet!" Her head held high, she turned back to her little screen and continued to do what she was trying to do.

"Yeah, gee, thanks for that. You're a real trooper," replied Vrilly with an obnoxious sarcasm. Vick almost started to giggle, but then found that it made her throat want to constrict to a cough. The Almighty Tallest finally took pity on the others and explained something.

"It's...not like we wouldn't want her to do that," stated Tallest Purple slowly, "It's just that..."

"It really has to do with certain laws and regulations," Tallest Red summed up for them.

"Yeah, it's the Control Brains that we'd have to worry about, if we ever got back." Added Sploods. "We'd have to give a full report to the Control Brains, and that means that they'd have to extract that data right from our PAKS. *Sigh* A person abandoning their duty to their leaders would be punished...extremely painfully...!"

Now everybody winced, even the humans who'd previously been fainting with aggravation over it. Lasch-mik nodded, understanding things in more depth than even the soldiers like Crystal and Throbulator would, or even than Ploopoh would've heard of. "It's why the Irkens' style of judgement with those Control Brains has so much authority. They can read their own soldiers' minds, so no one in their right mind would even think of disobeying them. Even if they did, they'll eventually be caught. The effect cascades down to the alien races under them. Even if they don't have the ability to read their minds, the vast majority don't care enough to attempt disobeying them. I've tried to tell that to my stupid son, but Lard-nar just won't listen...!"

"Er, yeah, anyone who likes a good cause is sure to get excited over it," Vrilly agreed with her.

"Wait a minute, if they can't read minds, then..." Vick started, but Sploods thankfully caught it in time.

"Well, actually," he started.

"We can." Tallest Red announced clearly and simply.

Everyone took a loooong moment to process that very simple announcement. Long moment is loooooooooooooong.

"WHAT!?" Exclaimed Lasch-mik. "But, I thought that technology hadn't been perfected yet!"

There was obviously some mis-communication here, because what everyone else thought they were talking about hadn't involved technology at all.

"Well, duh~!" Tarky spoke up for what was the first time in a long while. "That's what they WANT you to think!" The Tallest rolled their eyes and smiled in agreement.

"What?!" Asked Lasch-mik, just long enough for someone else to ask a question.

"Wait a minute, I'm confused: I thought everyone was talking about psychic abilities! Where'd the technology thing come in?" Asked Vrilly as she pointed a finger up pointedly.

Sploods almost burst into giggles, but held it in. Tallest Red could hardly contain his snickers, and Tallest Purple responded quickly before laughing. "We were talking about the CONTROL BRAINS!"

"Wha-?" Clasps, who had melted into a puddle in her new puddle-place for a rest had woken up. "What's everybody laughing about?"

Tak just gave them all a confused look. It wasn't _that_ funny. In fact, it was kind-of...pathetic. That's all. She couldn't even peer into the Almighty Tallests' heads. So, she peered into Sploods' head. She wound up shaking her own head and pushing the pathetic memory back into the darkened recesses of it. She did not need something like that in it. Why had she been so curious?! Dib's stupidly-stubborn curiosity must be rubbing off on her, or something. She gave Dib a mental glare just for that.

"What...are they laughing about?!" Asked Dib, completely ignoring her mental glare-ing-ness.

"We...probably just reminded them of something else...?" Vick could still be surprisingly-intelligent when she was dying of thirst.

"Although it is kind-of funny just watching this," Added Shloonktapooxis, shocking us all because the author had forgotten he existed.

"Heh heh, yeah," agreed Agent Nessie from his place on the ground, supporting his head on his arm as a pillow. It was just as uncomfortable as it sounds like it is.

They all watched the three of them giggling for the next few minutes.

Dib finally shook his head to shake himself out of it. 'Hey, Tak,' he thought, 'Where are those guys? I mean, can't you sense them, without the scanner?'

'Yeah, but that doesn't mean that I'd be of any help, particularly...' she trailed off as she continued to poke on it. 'Even if I _do_ know where they are and what's going on, I can't _go get_ them!'

'Why'd you have to be one of the _only three_ around here who's a soldier?!' Thought Dib, 'And why couldn't the other Irkens be people who can _do_ something!' He frowned when he thought of her previous lecture about whining. 'Well, if _you_ can't go and get them...'

He stood up and dusted himself off. They all looked at him expectantly, as if he was performing some miraculous feat.

"What are you up to?" Asked Tallest Purple.

"I'm going to rescue the Food-group. Obviously~!" Replied Dib with a roll of his eyes. As if everybody had been privy to his mental conversation with Tak. When she poked him about it, he said, "Oh-oh, uh, I mean, since Tak can't go, we've gotta' go and try to rescue them ourselves!"

"What!?" Exclaimed Tallest Purple.

"You can't go, you're about to collapse from thirst! She just said that your concentration's shot!" Shouted Tallest Red as he pointed.

"I can focus well enough to _run_! And besides, if we don't do something, they might not get back _alive_!" Replied Dib, glaring at the both of them.

"Your big head is going to draw all the fire and dangerous stuff towards it -if you go and get them, they're as good as toast!" Replied Tallest Purple a lot more calmly this time.

"_Burnt_ toast," Tallest Red added with a wry smirk at the edge of his mouth, hovering in front of Dib, now.

"Oh, like _you_ would know!" Dib replied sardonically, "When you're too busy sitting on your rear-ends, making crafts and stuff, to even care about where the Food-group has gone!"

Tallest Red promptly smacked him across the face. There was a faint moment, followed by an opaque one, and eventually a weird gradient that didn't have anything to do with this actual narration. But, it sure was odd~!

As Dib rubbed at his sore cheek, Tallest Red said, "You're _not_ a trained fighter, and you're weakened from lack of nutrition! What more do you _want_?! Because I'll gladly sign your death-certificate!" He pointed to the edge of the camp-site, as if to make a point about it being suicide to go out there.

"Then WHO ELSE WANTS TO GO!?" Shouted Dib. His exclamation almost scared everyone, but they quickly got over it. His voice was dry and hoarse, and he felt like it was hard to make any actual noise above a whisper. "I don't like dying of thirst, but I can't just sit around here while the rest of the group's in trouble!"

"But you don't even know where they are!" Shouted Tallest Purple.

"Tak knows! She'll give us directions, and we can find them easily! All we'll have to do is -*hack-cack-cak*-excuse me- go after them!" Dib tried to swallow or clear his throat, but it was dry as a bone.

"You won't have any weapons or tools at your disposal, aside from some of this rope," Tallest Red was holding up said bit of rope, "and your own strength and wits! Are you _sure_ you wanna' go through with this?"

"Well, I've got a pretty stubborn head," Dib replied, pointing at his own head. "And what choice have we got?!" He paused a minute before adding, "Weren't _you_ the ones who said that we should work _together_ while we're on this crazy planet?!"

"Alright, _fine_! I've tried talking some sense into you, but you're just suicidal enough to go out there!" Stated Tallest Red as he walked back to his spot, arms in the air as if he just didn't care. "I gave it my best try, even the Control Brains can't fault me for this!"

"Ohkay, then who's ready to go?" Asked Dib as he looked around at the rest.

"Uhm...I'd go...but I'm not very good at that kind of stuff..." Vrilly held up her hand and answered.

"I'll go: that's _my_ kid out there, after all," Lasch-mik spoke up. She added, "Anyone who's still got the guts to yell at the Tallest while they're lacking essential liquids is tough enough in my book."

"Uhm...I'll go, that is, if everybody wants me..." Tarky added for himself. He knew very well that Irlikiuns didn't fight well, but he didn't want to be seen as a wimp, either! Plus, he also wanted to do something to help.

"And I can go! Whoo-hoo-whee!" Shouted Shloonktapooxis, "A rescue-party! Let's go and get it on~! Whooaahh!" He wiggled his tail and danced a little.

The others just looked at him a bit strangely, but decided it was best not to say anything.

"Oh-kay, then, uhhh..." Dib looked around, and decided that a small group of four made a lot more sense than just dragging everybody along. "I guess four of us is good. Tak, can you give us directions to where the Food Group is?"

"I'm already on it," she replied, then turned around her little screen so everyone could see. "I'm sorry, but you'll have to memorize it."

"Oh, that's alright, sweekzy~!" Lasch-mik waved her hand. "I can remember it."

Tak felt like kicking her for that racial-slur again. And so she did~!

"Yeowch!"

Just as Lasch-mik was bouncing up and down on one leg, grabbing the other one, Dib said, "Good, I got it. Let's go!"

They headed out of the camp in the direction Tak had indicated they should go.

"Well, there goes a brave, _big_, head." Commented Tallest Purple as they went.

"They aren't gonna' die and we'll have to resuscitate them with magic or something, right?" Asked Tallest Red in nervousness.

"Why? Can you DO that!?" Exclaimed Tallest Purple in awe as he stared at him.

"Perhaps, but I think his his head is too big. Plus, he's the wrong species." Replied Tallest Red.

"Now _there's_ a conversation I never imagined over-hearing." Stated Sploods simply as he continued to go about his weaving.

"We were being _facetious_!" Tallest Purple shouted, jarring the remaining people out of their thoughts.

"Well, _he_ was," replied Tallest Red with an evil grin spread across his face.

Tallest Purple promptly hit him, and a fight ensued once again.

* * *

Dib pushed the various branches of stuff out of his way as they made their advancement through the dense brush. Well, jungle was more like it. Thick, sweltering, all-encompassing, monkey-calling, jungle...wait, they weren't on Earth! This jungle was thick, not sweltering, but filled with strange sights and smells, and probably not all-encompassing, and there were plenty of calls, just probably not by monkey-like creatures, jungle.

"Why were they so keen on keeping you from-" Lasch-mik had decided to pry something out of Dib, but he wasn't paying any attention.

"Sshh-!" He held a hand up and waved the other at them to remain quiet. "Do you hear something?!" He looked all around, ducking while still holding a hand up.

"All I see is your big head, ducking and-" Lasch-mik started once again, but was once again interrupted. A rather loud shriek rang out, and they all hopped and looked around.

"RUN!" Exclaimed Dib, then, "But, be quiet about it!"

"How- are you-!" Tarky was shouting as they all ran. While he'd meant to say, "How are you able to hear when there's danger," he'd slipped and tripped up on his own gooey self. Once he'd righted himself, he found that both Dib and Lasch-mik were far ahead of him. He rushed to catch up. "Hey, wait up!"

"Aw, you're having a hard time keeping up with us, aren't you, anghe?" Asked Lasch-mik in that motherly way of over-acting sympathy. "Why don't you get on my back?" She leaned down and indicated said back to him. Tarky wondered for a minute if she was alright with having to scrape his hardened, gelatinous self off her body, but then accepted it.

"O-okay, I suppose it's better than- woah!" Tarky climbed onto her back and clung onto her head as she started running.

Eventually they caught up to Dib, who was standing in a weird clearing, looking like it was made of crushed branches and leaves. There were rocks extending upwards into a cliff on the left-hand side, and it looked like a little cave of some sort was also extending into it. Nothing was to the right except for some few rocks and some bags that looked like the ones they'd constructed before the Food Group left. There was nothing else around them, but there were some weird sounds coming from behind the foliage behind the weird clearing.

The Food Group suddenly came barreling out of said foliage, Crystal tossing herself down behind the rocks, and the others stopping just long enough to take aim with their weapons at the small giant monster that was chasing them. "AAAHHH!" Dib, Lasch-mik, and Tarky screamed.

Throbulator and Ploopoh led another charge back in towards it as they fought to keep it out of the weird clearing. The large, hulking monster -that really couldn't have been more than eight, nine feet, tops- continued to roar its little warbling roar that sounded like that horrible auto-tune effect some people used to think sounded cool on Earth songs.

"WHAT IS THAT!?" Dib and Lasch-mik shouted at the same time, both entranced and amazed at that sort of event.

"Just shut up and don't scare it!" Admonished Crystal as she seemed to be gathering up the little bags and containers that lay at her sides behind that rock. They wondered what she meant by that, and she didn't bother with enlightening them that it hated anything that didn't sound like a horrible auto-tune effect, such as their voices. She was also favoring her left arm: there was a crack in its usually-smooth crystalline structure. Dib tried his best to edge away from the monster and towards the cave in the rocks and cliff.

"U-UW-AA-AR-G-G-H-H!" The creature roared at Lasch-mik and Tarky. The others weren't doing a very good job of fighting it off. Tak pointed out something in his head, and Dib realized it as the creature moved side-to-side, heading for Lasch-mik.

"He can't see Tarky!" Shouted Dib, and Tarky reacted immediately to this. He covered Lasch-mik with his own body until there wasn't much one could see of Lasch-mik. Barely a faint out-line of her remained left over, and the monster seemed unnerved by this new development. It moved to and fro, this way and that, but didn't seem to recognize what had happened.

"UW-A-A-U-H-H-!" It shouted in confusion. Just then, Starky came running up behind it, and started hitting it with his spears. It wasn't very effective, but at least it took its attention off of them. Lard-nar came rushing by, and took out its legs with a good, quick swipe of two somethings that looked rather sharp. The creature roared on the ground pitiably, and he took off its arms for good measure. Before he was able to start removing its head, another one appeared.

It was a little smaller, but ten times as fierce, now that it had seen its senior -the other one was probably older- die. Dib questioned Tak in his head about how she could tell, but she just told him to focus on what was going on. He did; but there wasn't very much he could do about it.

"Uuu-raaahhh!" Shouted Ploopoh as he attacked it with his poles of some kind that he'd found while they were walking. The poles bounced off and the creature easily pushed him aside as it swung its arms vengefully at them.

Even Throbulator was having trouble with it, and Crystal was trying to sling stones in an attempt to provide some cover for them, but it was difficult. Starky was knocked to the ground, and Lard-nar couldn't get a swing in close enough with his long, sharp thing. He'd already lost one of those sharp things, and couldn't get it back without making himself vulnerable. It was then that a weird sound was heard throughout the jungle, and they all looked up before realizing that the monster had a red blotch like a bruise radiate from the back of its head. The otherwise hard, outer-coating of gray skin was cracked, and it took a minute for them to realize what happened.

The monster finally buckled under its own weight and fell to the ground, a blackened hole oozing blue and black blood on the back of its head. They just stood there, staring: opened mouths like several odd-looking cod-fish. "Whoo-woo-wee!" Shloonktapooxis said from his place in the air right above them. "Who'd've thought that I'd fly into some weird stuff hanging from something thinner than a spider's web, and that it'd have some cone-shaped thingy that would get stuck on my tail end and be really, really sharp and tough! Woaw~!"

They just blinked as they stared at him, hovering there, looking happily on. Tarky un-glooped himself from Lasch-mik, and she gasped for a minute as she rubbed at her headacles. "Thanks for the save, Tarky...but I don't wanna' do that again!"

"Yeah, sorry," Replied Tarky, then, "Oh! And, uh, you're welcome."

"Well?! What are we, a bunch of Weekle-wackletee-tons?!" Stated Crystal from her place by the rocks, "Let's get the heck out of here before more of those things come!"

"R-r-right!" Said Starky, as he unfolded himself from the ground. "Does anybody know the way back to the 'fruit-stand'?!"

"_I_ do! I already told you!" Lard-nar gave a slightly oenry reply.

"O-oh! That's right!" Starky seemed to be recovering himself quite nicely; despite the fact that he'd never done anything of the kind of crazy, survival-type fighting ever before in his long, not-quite-long, life.

"Oh, hey, Dib-head! You might not want to go in there," Crystal said, indicating the cave he was about to enter as he hid behind the rocks.

"Oh-oh! Okay, sorry," Dib replied as he stepped out.

"What happened to her arm?!" Asked Tarky as the others continued to gather up their spears, weapons, and other supplies.

"What? Oh, this? Hee hah!" Crystal just laughed, "I was just about to get some of those Foormpulse fruit-pods, when one of those monster-guys came up and gave it a good wrench! Heh, heh, heh! We almost got killed, but lookit!" She said as she held up a small container with something white inside, "I got the lye!" The rest of the Food-group laughed a little, and the rescue party got the feeling like they'd missed some kind of joke.

"Uhhh...well, what are you guys- oh, right!" Ploopoh started, but hit himself in the head as he realized, "You're here to rescue us!"

"Yeah, but, now that we're here, can we just tag along with you guys?" Asked Tarky as he shrugged. "I really don't want to go back through that jungle without any weapons..." he paused for a moment, "Again..."

The others agreed to that, and the newly-formed Food Group and Rescue Party walked back into the jungle. After decapitating the two monsters that were still lying on the ground. Just to be sure they wouldn't follow them.

The walk wasn't all that long, and eventually they wound up at a small grove of tall trees that almost looked like coconut trees...if it weren't for the weird, dripping, deep green mess coming from the base of the leaves' clusters. The Rescue Party took one look at them, and unanimously exclaimed, "Eeewww!"

"Yee hee hee!" Crystal laughed a little, even though she found it yicky, too. "These are for Ploopoh, Tarky, Clasps, and Starky. Throbulator could eat these, too, but he says that they're too yucky or something. The others' food hasn't exactly been collected yet..." Then she laughed nervously, "We ran into those wonderful caves and were collecting all sorts of rocks and minerals..."

"It wasn't so much the collecting, as it was the _owners_ of them...!" Responded Throbulator with a bit of a smirk.

"There was a part of the mountain that was sentient, and we had a very hard time explaining that we had no way of knowing that it was the owner of them...we got chased out, after all of that, and I'm not so sure we can get any more, if they won't allow us back in." Lard-nar explained the rest.

"We really wouldn't have taken it if we had known..." Crystal responded with a sweatdrop. "We've already got enough stuff that's trying to kill us!"

The Rescue Party nodded, and Dib and Lasch-mik even sighed with understanding. Everyone was starting to harvest the Foormpulse fruit-pods, and they looked around for a minute.

"Wait, where's these Foorm Fruit trees' cultivation-pods?!" Asked Shloonktapooxis. Lard-nar looked up from where he was holding Agent Nessie's coat with Ploopoh and laughed.

"That's just what I asked the first time I came here!" Then he shifted the coat to one hand and pointed towards the ground that was covered in leaf-litter. "There! They're down on the ground. I guess they must grow here naturally, although I've rarely ever encountered them this close to the trees! I'd love to come here with a full research-team and investigate this planet fully!" As a couple of leaves from the tree up above him that Crystal was harvesting from dropped down on him, he tensed and looked back to his work of holding the Nessie's-coat-make-shift-food-tarp.

As the rest of the time was spent chatting and getting as much of that fruit as was feasibly possible for them to carry, there wasn't much else going on. The only weird stuff started when Dib noticed that the ground they'd been walking on was of that same type of cut-foliage and trampled-down leaf-littered path. He pointed it out until even Lard-nar felt like throttling him for it.

"Uuuuoooohhhhwwwwgggghhhh!" Lard-nar's patience had worn out. "WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING THINGS LIKE THIS!?"

"Because! I think that someONE or someTHING has created these paths! Don't you think that it'd be a good idea to figure out if it was those other -" Valuable epiphany was lost when an even larger, hulking thing-monster appeared behind them. They all screamed and ran in the general direction of the only other people who could help them. The camp-site.

"U-RA-A-A-U-U-U-H-I-H!" Screamed the "monster". To them it had to have been a monster. Just like those other things it was a hard-skinned, short-necked thing, and had the awful auto-tune voice in surprising auto-tone-volume. But _unlike_ those other things, it had darkened gray skin, black in the torso and fading into a blue at the edges. There was green around its hands and legs, and even tail-bone; not like anybody saw it, when they were running away from that thing. Another one rose up along with it, just a little bit smaller and in similar colors.

"YOU SEE?!" Dib managed to find enough time to shout, "I TOLD YOU IT WAS IMPORTANT!"

"YOU'RE A REGULAR YEEP-UOND IMPOUNT! NOW SHUT-UP AND RUN, STUPID!" Shouted Lard-nar as they ran.

As they ran through the various jungle and stuff, they tried swerving and hiding behind the foliage, but that never helped. Even Starky seemed surprisingly agile with that long fabric he was wearing. The chase was on, and they didn't think that they'd ever make it, until... They ran through a row of pale tan trees and found that the two monsters weren't chasing after them anymore.

"Wha-" Just as someone was about to ask an absurdly stupid question, the monsters yelled and screamed so awfully in that auto-tune-ed shout, that it was about as painful to listen to them as it was to consider being caught by them.

They started running again, and soon they reached the camp-site.

In the time that they'd been running from the monsters directly to it, Tak had warned everybody of the impending danger to their camp- they snatched up enough things that they could carry and took shelter behind the majority of the soil-monster's skeleton as the terrifying auto-tone-def sounds approached.

"WAHAAATTT?!" Screamed Clasps. Everyone was shouting and in a panic, despite Tallest Red's attempts to calm them so as to escape in an orderly fashion.

"Hey, wait! Those aren't yours!" Nessie was heard to shout.

"WHO CARES?!" Asked Vrilly as she ran by Vick and Nessie.

"I'm not checking just to get disemboweled!" Was Vick's reply to Nessie.

"EVERYBODY, EAT WHAT YOU CAN'T CARRY!" Tallest Purple's shout came carrying over the loud din of shouts about things almost entirely unrelated to their current predicament. Even Sploods didn't have very intelligent stuff to say as he shouted.

"I'M ALL ALOOO~O~ONNNNEEEE!" His call was heard as he ran and hid behind the largest part of the soil-monster's-skeleton.

"You've got the pants, right? Right!" Agent Nessie's shout was the very last one, as the group of the Food Group and Rescue Party came barreling by. The very largest of the giant monsterish-type things that had been chasing them was suddenly stopped by the stalwart soil-monster-skeleton over-hang. Dib had been in front, but not for very long.

He suddenly came to a stop, all blackened and covered in who knows what else he'd been covered in since the last time he and Tak were both covered in some mysterious slop, and tottered. Then he fell flat.

Didn't get up after that, although quite a long time passed between the time he'd fallen and the time they eventually woke him up. The faint light from the sun was close to setting, as someone held something that looked mysteriously like a bottle of some kind and a piece of fruit in front of his head.

"W-wh- What?!" Asked Dib as he eventually came to.

"He's finally up!" Stated Ploopoh. It looked like he had shed most of the coat he was wearing, and all Dib could see was a part of his chest and arm. Huh. Why did it look like that, his head wondered, even as he could barely talk.

"Good!" Came Throbulator's voice. It sounded somewhat odd, somehow.

"Finally! Now we don't have to watch him anymore!" Moaned Vrilly. They'd been taking turns poking at him and had turned him over onto his back so he didn't suffocate or die of inhalation of dirt and stuff. Or whatever. They were glad they wouldn't have to worry about him anymore.

As Dib sat up, Tak brought him something in a shallow-looking bowl-cup. "Yeah, you're brave, but dumb;" was her only acknowledgement. After he'd drank some, he came to realize that it was water, and he yanked it out of her hands to gulp it down before coughing and wiping his mouth off.

"What happened?!" He asked, as he surveyed the rest of the camp.

Ploopoh, Lard-nar, and Nessie had been relegated to guarding over the food-tarp. The rest of the group was either sitting around the fire, or resting nearby, doing whatever it was that they were messing with. It looked like Vick and the Almighty Tallest and Sploods were weaving some sort of fabric with wood strips, but not all together. They were each working on their own little thing.

Ploopoh and Nessie had their shirt/coat mostly or fully off, respectively, and Dib could already tell that Agent Nessie's legs were going to be as flabby as his torso was. Vick wasn't un-clothed, but it looked like some kind of black stuff was smeared around her head, like that kind of stuff that Dib and Tak had found to make the Plastey-buckets. Clasps was puddle-up resting; Lard-nar was telling the other two on food-tarp duty what to do, and looked relatively fine, except that he had several new pale-looking scratches on his skin. He didn't look half-bad for a researcher-turned-rebel-leader-turned-survivor-of-an-unknown-alien-planet. Shloonktapooxis was admiring his new little cone-shaped tail-weapon, wiggling and practicing with it. The Tallest looked basically the same: excepting that they also looked blackened, each on their right sides, along with Sploods. And all three looked slightly charred and burnt.

Vrilly was doing some crafts along with Lasch-mik and Crystal, who still seemed to be favoring her left arm. It appeared to be in some sort of cast, or have medicine on it with a band-aid, or something. Vrilly was giving orders to them and appeared very intelligent for having never done that stuff more than a random hobby; or so she'd later tell them. Starky was leaning against Throbulator, who didn't seem to be enjoying it in the least, but seemed content to shoulder -or head- the responsibility. Throbulator looked like he really wanted to go to sleep, but he couldn't quite seem to get comfortable enough; and he was leaning against a rock. They didn't look too different than they had some hours earlier.

Tarky was nowhere to be found, but they found out later that he'd just gone behind the larger part of the soil-monster's skeleton to clean himself. Tak, in the meanwhile, was currently the one in charge of taking the necessary dangerous trips out to fill up their little containers with enough water for the poor, dehydrated humans. Aside from the few new charred and white-charcoal-ish bits stuck to her, she looked pretty-much the same as she had earlier, as well.

Dib took a few minutes to assess all of this information -with the time he'd just had, his brain had little power to run on, what with being dehydrated and including the other things that had happened- and found that Tak was staring at him. She looked at him as if to say, "What?" He found that he was also staring at her. It was then that Tarky came walking around the corner, looking slightly orange-ish, but also strangely slicker than he was before. And that took care of the embarrassing space-out stare that Dib found he was having. Tak just turned back to whatever it was she'd been doing before, and the wonderful little exchange about where Tarky had just been was proceeding just as expected. At least, in this story.

"Hey, Dib, I left you some stuff you can eat -you need to keep your strength up, 'cause you're a kid," Ploopoh had pointed to the things he'd been holding above Dib's head before.

And for once, Dib didn't even have the strength to ask any questions. 'That's a nutritional substance...think of it like a juice, or something, that Lasch-mik constructed for you. Tell me if it stinks horribly so that I can shove that in her face for you~!' Tak's comment had come so calmly and easily over his mind, that Dib didn't question it and opened the hand-made woven-looking bottle and immediately plugged his nose at it. "Well, it looks like he hates the smell! What'd I tell you?!" Tak exclaimed with sadistic cheer over the rest of the group. Lasch-mik just looked grumpy, and Dib plugged his nose as he took a drink.

"...Eeewww! Its taste reminds me of durians and pummelos, but its smell...! It's like a dog took a pee in a wet sock someone left overnight in the locker at the skool's gym...!" Was Dib's nasally-sounding comment. Then he promptly tried his best to drink the rest of it. He coughed and put it down before curling up on his side into a ball. He couldn't drink any more of that: even if he'd been dying, without anything else around!

Lasch-mik just raised her invisible little Vortian-eyebrows and said, "Wow, with how bad the humans' sense of smell is, I'd have thought he would've liked it!"

"There's NO WAY you could even get ME near the stuff!" Replied Vick emphatically, "And _I like_ most cheeses!"

"Yeah, why would you think we couldn't smell?!" Exclaimed Agent Nessie, "I mean, that'd put a skunk on the run!"

"Well, I just sort-of figured; you don't really seem to be that affected by your own smell," Lasch-mik replied with a bit of a shrug.

"THAT'S DIFFERENT!" Agent Nessie shouted, "You can become more used to your own smell than to someone ELSE'S smell!"

"_And_, we really haven't had any chance to _bathe_ and _clean_ ourselves!" Added Vick. She and Vrilly, who was now sitting across from her, were trading grossed-out faces and annoyed eye-rolls.

"That stuff you just made belongs right up there in that category with Lutefisk and Limburger!" Agent Nessie continued, not quite done with her annoying assumptions as to the human olfactory cells, now. As he continued to wax on poetically about all the kinds of stinky stuff that he could remember that smelled not quite as bad as that smelled, Dib moaned from his place on the ground.

"-And that's nothing! What about the way _you_ smell, huh?!" Nessie's last comment ended with some of the others going, "Oooohhh!"

"What?!" Exclaimed Lasch-mik, very offended; "What did you just tell me?!" Apparently saying that someone smells bad was an offense in Vortian culture, as well. And Lard-nar decided to intervene, just before his mother was incited to murder.

"That- that's probably not meant the same way as we're used to it!" Lard-nar waved his hands as he carefully edged closer to his mother.

"And what way would it be used? Saying someone smells bad seems like it'd be an insult in ANY culture!" Vick rolled her eyes and waved a hand. Vrilly just snickered.

"That's exactly the way I _meant_ it!" Nessie wasn't backing down. "You've been insulting us _all_ this time, what's to say _you_ don't stink, either?!"

"I get it, I see..." Lasch-mik pouted, "I see your point!" It seems she was not used to losing in any conversation; much less against someone who decided to throw all propriety out the window and insult and old female just to stick it to her. Lard-nar looked back and forth between Nessie and his mother. "You don't have to keep re-hashing it." Was her only add-on comment.

"Heh heh heh..." Tallest Purple was seen to snicker, and the Almighty Tallest and Sploods seemed to take particular joy in seeing the cranky old Vortian get her commuppins.

"Alright, that's enough of that," stated Vrilly, as if to clear the air. "Vick, you done with your clothes, yet?"

"Almost! Well, since we're gonna' have to make the lye as well, why don't you guys get started on it?" Vick looked over to Nessie and Dib, who was eagerly devouring some citrus-ey type of fruit. After what Lasch-mik had given him to drink, _any_thing tasted good!

"Uohuwph!" Came Dib's reply, with his mouth full.

"Okay, I can, uh, try to do it..." was Nessie's less-than-enthusiastic reply.

"And don't use too much of the lye to start with -you know how much trouble we went to-" Vick started.

"I know, I know! I'll only use a little bit of a pinch at a time!" Nessie waved an arm over at her, as he walked to their designated "chemistry station". It was, technically, a piece of wooden board -courtesy of Lard-nar's super-sharp thingies-find- laid across two rocks in their camp-site. These were somewhat away from the rest of the camp, so hopefully it wouldn't jump all those several feet towards the fire. The set-up was as close to level as they could get it, but it still slanted to one side. They decided it would have to do, and set a few rocks on the edges to steady it.

The wonderful experiments with the lye would be fun to retell, but let's just say that it finally jogged Nessie's memory as to how much lye per water ratio was alright. Also, exactly how much soap it would make. They wound up with two tiny blocks of Too-strong-to-use-on-the-skin Soap, and two normal-sized blocks of Not-as-strong-and-alright-to-use-on-the-skin Soap.

T.S.T.U.O.T.S. and N.A.S.A.A.T.U.O.T.S, or, more typically, T.S.T.U.O.S. and N.A.S.A.T.U.O.S., respectively. And acronyms should always have periods after each letter, like your initials. The Author's love of annoying you with grammar aside, -that she always messes with anyways, so this makes no sense- let's get back to the story, eh?

They then waited around for it to set, which took an annoyingly-long amount of time. They passed that time by setting the dangerous chemistry-things aside and designating them for their specific purposes -to avoid cross-contaminating any other experiments- and singing folk songs that nobody could remember the exact words for, and didn't even really care.

There was a strange moment when everything was pervasively quie- "Ting-a-ling-a-ling-a-ring!" Came from somewhere, although no one could trace it. Nessie suddenly made a jumping dive for his coat. Against everyone else's shrieks of anger, he paid no heed and rifled through his own pockets until he came up with what he was looking for. A cellular phone.

"MY CELL-PHONE!" Exclaimed Nessie, as if it was the most exquisitely priceless find in the universe. "...Aaawww~! It's out of battery-!" He flopped his head forward in a "fooh!" and then held it back up to exclaim, "WE COULD'VE LISTENED TO MUSII~IIICC~!" Everyone stared at him a short minute before there was an inaudible "snapping" of temperaments.

They dove on top of him in a screaming rage. "It-it wasn't my FAAAUU~U~ULL~LTTT!" His shouts rose above the din of the melee`.

"YES, IT WAS!" Shouted the enraged Ploopoh, who was generally so calm. "You should've KNOWN what was IN YOUR POCKET!"

"But-BUT I DIDN'T KNOOOOWWW~!" Agent Nessie protested; "I THOUGHT WE WERE STRANDED WITHOUT STUFF, 'CAUSE EVEN_ VICK_ DIDN'T HAVE HER PURSE OR A CELL-PHOOOONNNEEE~!"

"YES, I CONCUR: EVEN THOUGH I'M _TOTALLY ANGRY_ AND AM STILL GOING TO FIND A WAY TO _PUNISH_ _YOOOUUUU~_!" Vick agreed as she scratched at Agent Nessie with all her might. It was kind-of hard to do with so may people, trying to do similar, painful and excruciating things to him.

"DO YOU KNOW WE HAD TO LISTEN TO 'FOOFOHS' HOW MANY TIMES!?" Exclaimed Ploopoh. "I EVEN USED TO LIKE THAT AS A CAMP-SONG! NOW I CAN'T STAND IT, AND I'M BLAMING YOOOUUUU, AGENT NESSIE!"

"THAT, and the 'PORSONS' SPORN' had too much FUUUNNN!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple, "It was SUPPOSED to be a _MELANCHOLIC RHYTHM_!"

Tak looked over with surprise, because she'd never heard that before. But she just shrugged it off and continued trying to sear out Nessie's eyes with red-hot poker-sticks.

Dib noted mentally, 'Let the punishment fit the crime! We should burn out his ears, instead!' And she smiled with an unknown glee. When he got mad, it was strangely satisfying.

"I'M noting, that, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW, there is an annoyed alien-lookin' thing BUGGIN' US!" Tallest Red had extracted himself from the melee` and was hovering beside them, pointing to the alien-lookin' thing that was standing within their camp-site. Everyone stopped on-cue, because running into "annoyed alien-looin' things", especially those that were "buggin'" them, was not a good thing. Not on this planet, at any rate.

It looked like the kind of annoyed neighbor you'd see on some sit-com, or something. Except that it was all pale-blue, and it looked slightly like a puff of smoke, or an opaque ghost. Everyone stared as "he" -no one was quite sure of their gender- cleared his voice and started speaking. "I'm not really one to come up and say things of the like, and I've tried to be hospitable, since it seems clear that you're stranded, but... *Sighs* You're really makin' a racket, and I've got some kids and all, we're trying to get them to go to sleep for tonight, so could you really, _pretty-please_, keep it down?" Then he pouted, "They're already taking bets to see if you really kill that guy. I've been trying to break them of the habit, but, well, you know..." Everyone started laughing nervously, and when it seemed clear that he was done and not killing them, began extracting themselves from their melee`.

"S-ss-sorry, we, really didn't- that, I mean, well, you know!" Vrilly's soft and stuttering reply came wafting up from their extraction techniques.

"No problem, I've made a few horrible, anger-ridden rackets of noise myself, it's just, you know," he waved as he politely excused himself. "Whelp, I've gotta' go! The wife is a-waitin' for me! Uh, it's nice to meet you, you know..." He wandered off and then inexplicably disappeared, leaving a lot of them to wonder whether or not he was a ghost. But not Dib.

"Hey, is their species monogamous?" He asked as the moment of silence wafted up, along with Agent Nessie's moans. "I mean, it just stands to reason: he said wife and kids! Or, wait! Maybe they only mate for a short period of time to raise the kids? Just what kind of species _was_ he; does anybody know what kind?! Maybe they're a family of ghosts, you know, like those Chamber Chains-things?! I mean, they really didn't seem like ghosts, but you never know! I wonder if alien ghosts are different than Earth ghosts?! There's different kinds of ghosts on Earth, like maybe phantoms or specters, or perhaps even energy-beings! Energy beings! Heh, that reminds me of that time when Zim put me in that alternate-reality-hologram-dream-thing, and he convinced me that these Shoe Aliens called the 'Meekrob' or something gave me super-powers! I lived an ENTIRE LIFE-TIME in that dream-sequence, and then he just wanted to know if I threw the muffin at his head! Heh! Isn't that ridiculous!? Then, when I thought he was gonna' destroy me, he just shot a muffin out of a cannon at me! It didn't even HURT! There must be something seriously WRONG with him! Hey, can you re-wire an Irken's PAK!? 'Cause he could use some re-wiring or some kind of a pulse-thing, or-!" He suddenly spasmed and collapsed.

The others just blinked.

"Wow. That was odd," came Throbulator's kind reply. That wasn't even what the others were thinking.

"I don't think I've ever heard even Huredmaned ask so many questions...!" Came Lasch-mik's shocked reply. All her son could do was just nod and concur.

"Or even Poopopsy!" He held up a finger.

"Heh, heh! Yeah, I was wondering when he would start acting like normal again!" Was Vick's strange reply.

"That's what he usually acts like," Nessie said as he stood up and dusted whatever dust would come off, off his jeans. "I just can't believe he went that long without asking so many questions!"

"Yeah," Dib commented from his place on the ground, "I guess it was the shock. Of being here...in this place."

He laid there for a few seconds before finally getting up. "Whew! _Now_ I feel lots better! Hey, if we're all done with attacking Nessie, can we get our new clothes and go wash up?!" He seemed perfectly fine, and even sniffed his own arm-pits for confirmation. "Phoo~wo~! I think that if I hadn't been covered in all that black stuff, I'd probably stink even worse~!" Of course, since that was to lead up to that inevitable question, "What was that stuff made of?" Tak helped them all out by answering it in his mind.

Yet another question-asking crisis averted, everyone was wondering whether or not they wanted their "shocked Dib" back, and whether or not they'd have to bind up the rather big mouth and head of the new, "normal Dib". As Vick was contemplating the latter, Vrilly spoke up.

"Yeahsh...!" She was trying to explain something a little bit difficult to tell them. "But, how are you going to, eh, 'bathe' with that water? I mean, you'll want some sort of buckets to carry it in, and we haven't got enough! Besides, you won't want to get any of it into the water you're drinking from, would you?" She just let it out. "I mean, heh heh, who would do something stupid like that...?" Then she thought about it, and realized that she'd made a terrible faux-pas.

"Er, yeah, it took several centuries for our own people to realize that..." replied Vick as she traded glances with Agent Nessie. "We don't seem to enjoy changing our own sewage-systems."

"Ulgh! That reminds me, there's a place that gives tours of their sewage-system!" Nessie stated, giving a grossed-out look. "What place was that, again?"

"It's Parie," stated Dib frankly, "In Targe`t. The reason is because they built the city on top of the old city, and an even older part of the city was underneath that! It's not as gross as it sounds: I've been on it once, with my family." Then he paused and restated, "It's built on top of the old city, and an even older part of the city was underneath that...!" As he paused and mused, the others hoped that he wouldn't launch into another bunch of questions or ranting.

"I'll just get to work on helping with my own clothes." Nessie commented with a finger held up, trying to circumvent the auditory boredom.

"And I'LL be supervising," Vick remarked, in reference to his lack of dexterous weaving-skills, "That means that you, Dib, get to work on getting us some more of those plastey-buckets!" Though she'd said it more loudly than the first sentence, it seemed he hadn't heard it, as he was still musing, lost in his big-head of thoughts.

"_He's_ strangely quiet," Ploopoh noticed, taking his eyes and mind off the camp-fire to look over at him.

"Dib! Hey, BIG-HEAD!" Said Nessie, but it was to no effect. Apparently, Dib really _was_ lost in thought!

"GGGgrrr~!" Growled Vick, and then she snarled, "Wait, I've got an idea: hey, AGENT MOTHMAN!"

Dib's head immediately snapped up, "What!? Did you want me?! You called, right?! Want me to-" he was interrupted by Vick and Nessie waving their arms and shouting at him.

"No, nonono, no!"

"We WANT you to work on making some more of THOSE PLASTEY-BUCKETS! Okay?!" Vick shouted loud enough for it to echo a little bit.

"Hush! You don't want them ghost-lookin'-alien things to come over here and attack us! Right?!" Tallest Purple said with a finger to his mouth. And yet again, Dib wondered about the commonality with all of these hand-signals. Maybe they were taken from abductees who'd also spread the Eenglish language around, wherever they went? That would account for some of the strange things, but not all of them.

The rest agreed with Tallest Purple's assessment, and all nodded their heads. "Alright! No more yakkin'," Tak walked over to Dib and bopped him on top of his head. "You need to get to work!" She then went over to grab materials to construct a weapon of some sort, just in case he said, "_we_ need to get to work!" The Tallest just shrugged at this and went back to whatever it was they were doing.

"Oh- hey!" Dib stated as she bopped him, then thought, 'What'd you do that for?! It wasn't me -it was Vick and Agent Nessie! They were the ones who were being no-' he thought she was about to hit him again as she went by, and ducked.

She didn't, though, and she replied in thought, 'That's because, now that you're acting_ more normally_, you're going to be even_ more_ of an _annoyance_! *Sighs* And I was just getting used to your somewhat-quiet-self...!' Dib just glared and mentally sighed to himself.

'Sor-_ry_, for being inquisitive, and stuck on an alien planet with _all kinds_ of cool aliens, and wanting to ask _questions_ because _questions_ are the only way I'm going to _learn anything_!' Then Dib's glare turned to one of questioning as yet another one came up, 'Hey, what'd you mean by "more normally"?!'

"Hey," came Vrilly's voice to interrupt him out of his grumping confusion, "Here's your material. You'll have to start by re-harvesting even more of that black stuff and bark from that tree." She said, pointing to the said trees around them.

"What? Oh, of course!" Dib said, before he even knew what he was saying. Then he winced as Tak's evil laughter came over the psychic-link. 'Darn-it! I forgot what happened last time,' was all he thought back at said laughing.

"Oh, don't worry, I'll take_ care_ of him...!" Came Tak's strange and evil reply. Was strange evility catching? Because it sure was coming a lot lately.

Dib's eyes widened and his mouth slid into a small line. Then he told Vrilly, "Can't you just, you know, fling me into the treacherous jungle and get it over with?"

Vrilly started laughing after a brief moment of staring, and the others soon broke their nervous silence and laughed as well.

"Heh, yeah... I gotta' do things the _hard_ way...yet again~!" Dib said as he moaned with expectant pain, walking over to where Tak stood beside one of those trees. Though he'd once thought to Tak, "'I'm calling them Tar-trees!'" he now hoped that that name was not as applicable as he'd once thought it was.

All of that aside, they went on yet another fling. This one entirely not their fault. The previous tree they'd harvested the stuff from was filled with a few different kinds of birds! They had to find another one, and then the tree had proven too pliable and strong. It was also fling-ey. As it flung them far off, into the distance. They returned, this time to find a different tree, and then learned that the one that had flung them was perfectly good, if they trimmed it from the _bottom_ up!

They both groaned and pouted. Their previous "no whining" rule was not holding up well.

And _neither_ was their temperament.

* * *

"Okay, so," stated Nessie to sum things up, "We've got soap, and we've got at least some kind of extra clothes...and some bowls to pan the water out with so that we don't pollute our only sources of water with our own filth, those little puddle-depressions... Can we go, now?!" He stood there with his hands on his hips, gratefully still-clothed as he and Dib were preparing to take their very first bath on this horrifying planet.

"Yes. AND!-" Vick shouted, holding out a rather large bucket to them, "Make sure to put your clothes in here! I don't want to pick up after you guys -I'm already doing your washing!" She glared with a menacing look in her eyes, that kind that most women get when they mean to say, "You _know_ I _don't_ have to do this."

"Yes, MOTHER~!" Sighed Nessie in annoyance as he took the large bucket from her.

"Uh-huh, whatever," said Dib, still far too focused on getting this done and over with to avoid being naked or even semi-naked for any length of time around a bunch of aliens...no matter how much they either wouldn't care, or wouldn't want to look. They both huffed in annoyance as they walked back towards the puddles of water, grumbling under their breath about know-it-all and bossy women.

The "puddles" were actually a lot deeper than their first impressions gave -almost like cave-water, they were small in radius, but went down for at least seven or ten feet.

Puddles that looked dark as ink: but upon closer inspection, that was just because the light couldn't penetrate them. The water inside was pure and as clear as crystal -in this the two gladly bathed themselves.

"You know, I think that Tuna Ghost gets surlier and surlier, the longer we stay here!" Stated Agent Nessie as he was taking off his clothes.

"Yeah; but at least you can't hear her in your _brain_, sending angry, _horrifying_ signals over to you through a _psychic-link_!" Pouted Dib as he did the same.

"...Through a psychic-link?" Asked Agent Nessie after he paused to take off his pants. "But, I thought that _she_ was the only one who was psychic!" Then he started to think. "Oh! It must have to do with that ring you always wear, right?!" He tossed his clothes over to the washing-bucket, and almost missed -his underwear hung across Dib's head.

Dib glared, but simply removed them and put them in the bucket, "Yeah, well, it wasn't exactly _my_ idea in the first place," he stated; then smiled as he remembered Tak's horrified reaction to the necklace the very first time he'd showed it to her. "Well, actually, she was irritated with the shape of the necklace to begin with, so I guess it was her _payback_...you know how women-er, females, are!"

Nessie just laughed at this. "Yeah! And _then_ some! You know, with a whole group of aliens, male and female, and, uh, Tarky, it's interesting to see how some things are so similar!" Laughing, he thought about how Vick and Vrilly seemed to be getting along, or about how Clasps seemed to admire Tak so much...or about how Lasch-mik just seemed to enjoy torturing Tak, for some strange reason which only they were privy to; somehow or another the others just seemed to avoid them... Tak especially.

"Yeah! And you know what the _worst_ thing is?!" Laughed Dib, pulling out the soap and one of the small bowls to wash himself with. "I really don't feel weird at all about it! I mean, sure, at first they were all like, super-freaky aliens, and everything, but now they're just like, ...psh, ordinary people? Or _some_thing..." He trailed off as he thought a bit.

"Alright, then if they're so _ordinary_, then can you tell me what they've got against Tak? I mean, she really seems like the odd one out; like, she doesn't even get along with any of the other girls- er, females, you know?! I think that the only one I've seen her talk to is either the other Irkens, and that was just to follow orders; or Tarky, or you! And even then...!" Nessie trailed off as he thought about this.

"HFIL if I know!" Pouted Dib, glad that Lasch-mik wasn't there to scold him for a pseudo-swear again. "I only know that I haven't seen her for like, three months! And then, when I _do_ finally meet her again, it's like she's going out of her way to make my life _torture_! I mean, _what's_ gotten into her?! ...This reminds me of when she was super-seriously-irritated at me for no ACTUAL reason after we defeated the Men in Black...irritated, and she would hardly talk to me! It took, like, about a week, or something, for her to stop being mad and actually _talk_ to me again! So, I don't know, maybe it's just something going on with, like, aliens, and stuff? And doesn't actually have _any_thing to do with me?... 'Cause that's the only thing that could make sense...! Only, that _doesn't_...!" He paused while he thought about this.

"What do you mean, it makes sense but it doesn't?" Asked Nessie. They were both in the process of trying to clean themselves with the water, while trying to keep it from running off into the little puddles which they were taking it from. It was hard to do, but if they didn't want to hear any more annoying scolding and arguments -from more than just Vick, the other aliens, as well!- about keeping their only water-source clean, then they just had to do it! "I mean, displaced anger sounds pretty normal, doesn't it?"

"But that's just the thing!" Stated Dib, then he squeezed his eyes shut as some soap decided to pay them a visit and sting. "Tak's so _calm_, and she doesn't even go out for revenge -even though we all know that Zim _totally_ deserves it! She's cool and calculating -so, that's how I know, that even though it seems like there's nothing, _there must be_ something!" He tried to wash his eyes out and sputtered as he got a mouthful of the suds, instead. He flailed around looking for the puddles again, before Nessie finally stopped him with a bonk to the head, and splashed some water into his face for him. "Pppshhlppthppp! Thanks," he said, wiping his face. "Ah, maybe I am just reading too much into this..."

"Nah, I don't think so..." muttered Agent Nessie as he returned to his own washing. "From what you've told me, that matches with her personality. Sort-of like my sister Lucinada, only...with a little less...neurosis." He wiggled his hands, and Dib just had to question what kind of sisters he had.

"Well, if_ you_ can figure it out, then _tell_ _me_!" Mumbled Dib, almost to himself; though Nessie could still hear it. Then, louder, "And by the way, _watch out_ for her -she's actually a really good fighter!"

"Well, I can believe it -with as much Tarky's told me!" Replied Nessie as he contemplated washing his feet...they had no shoes, so they'd just get dirty again, wouldn't they? Vick had insisted on washing them, along with their socks...something about foot-fungus on alien planets being a disastrous consequence, or something along those lines. "You wanna' know what happened?"

"Nah, not really -I already know it all," replied Dib simply. Nessie's shoulders sort-of drooped.

"Oh, yeah! Uh, the...psychic-link!..." He replied just as simply.

"And, uh, just to be sure, uh...don't mention that around the others..." Dib said just a bit nervously. "I mean, it's not really a _secret_, but, uh...yeah."

"You mean the psychic-link thing?" Asked Nessie, then, seeing Dib's head nod, he said, "Oh! Sure, yeah." There was a pause and some blissful silence before either of them spoke again.

"That ring thing...how's it work?" Asked Nessie as he wiped the rest of the soap off himself.

"That, uh..." Dib pouted. He wasn't sure if Tak would be mad if he told him... When they were on Earth, it was necessary to hide it from the Swollen Eyeballs, because they didn't believe him...but here, that was pretty-much ancient history. There was still no response to his poking at Tak for help, and so he decided to play it safe for now. "I don't think I can tell you...not that, I _wouldn't_, you know!"

"Huh...then, can I at least look at it?" Asked Agent Nessie, raising an eyebrow.

"Sure, but just let me finish up here," replied Dib as he hurriedly scrubbed down. With hot water, that black, tar-ish stuff came off surprisingly-well. That finished, he poured some more water on himself to rinse and turned to show his hand to Nessie.

"Huh. That's cool," Agent Nessie said, then, "Wait..." he paused a minute, "You _can't take it off_!"

"Ssshhh!" Replied Dib, sweat-dropping. "Don't talk about that!...It's...embarrassing...!"

"WAHAH HAH!" Nessie laughed instead. Dib just face-palmed and looked around, hoping no one else had been listening. "Whe- now that's! That- Okay, now you two _totally_ deserve each other!"

Dib glared until he was done laughing, then said, still quietly, "Very funny." The irony wasn't lost on Agent Nessie, that they'd both been trying to one-up the other and basically wound up stuck with each other. Sort-of like "Spy vs. Spy".

"Wha- no, seriously, now! What happened?! I mean, you- you kept trying to do an autopsy on her, _huh_?" Dib pouted when Nessie said that, only because it seemed like the easiest explanation for why she was mad at him.

"No~oo! But, not that the idea _hadn't_ crossed my mind...! _More_ than _once_." Dib replied easily. "But, uh...it really all started when I tried to convince her that we should team up to destroy Zim -and that I had at some point planted a brain-bomb in her head." Nessie face-palmed as he laughed some more.

"So!" Dib continued after Nessie had finished snickering. "Then she decided to go along with it, even though she probably didn't believe me," Dib thought briefly why he hadn't realized at the time that that ploy wouldn't work. "Then, I realized that she had some sort of brain-implant that would help her to _hypnotize stupid people_, so I suggested she try out that psychic necklace. Long story short, I'm not psychic. She got ticked that I couldn't hear her mental cues, and so she stuck this psychic-transceiver on my finger. Then, she had to figure out how to_ use_ the necklace, and _that's_ why we were looking for psychic instructors. Then, after that, the necklace got all clingy, and wouldn't let her take it off- seriously, a clingy necklace?! And then-" Agent Nessie interrupted him.

"Woah, woah, wait a minute!" Said Nessie, waving his hand in front of Dib's face, "What?! Why was the psychic necklace 'clingy'?!"

"I don't know...it just liked her? Or _some_thing. Anyway, it wouldn't let her take it off... But, that wasn't much of a problem... Then, after we beat the Men in Black, things calmed down a bit, but, man! Was she cranky," Agent Nessie nodded as Dib explained. "Oh, hah hah! And _then_, when we were trying to stop Zim's time-travel experiment-!" Both he and Agent Nessie jumped at the unexpected interruption.

"What? That stupid Zim-moron built a time-travel experiment?" Said Lasch-mik standing there, just as you please, "Isn't that _really stupid_? I mean, even for him-" She was interrupted by the guys' shouts.

"GUAHHH!" Exclaimed Agent Nessie, turning aside to cover any embarrassing body-parts.

"WHA- WHAT THE-!" Shouted Dib as well, also hiding his nether-regions.

"Oh, sheechs! You kids sound like a couple of sooly-girls!" Lasch-mik waved her hand, "I was a doctor for _years_, I don't really care about what kind of- oh, hey. You get hairier as you get older?"

"AAARRGE! Just, WHAT DO YOU WANT!?" Asked Dib, still hiding. He hoped he could get to his "replacement clothes" soon. It was amazingly chilly.

"YEAH! Wh- what do you want!?" Agent Nessie asked the same question, shivering as well, from the cold and the nervousness. Lasch-mik was snapped out of her momentary contemplation on alien anatomies to reply.

"Oh! That's right, Vick sent me to get the clothes -seems to think you're taking too long." Dib and Nessie gave a meaningful glare to one another: their "fellow agent" had pranked 'em. Lasch-mik in the meanwhile was staring closely at Agent Nessie, "What exactly are you hiding...huh?"

"Wh- just- nevermind! And tell VICK that we'll be out in a minute!" Stated Nessie angrily, his voice cracking with unconcealed embarrassment and rage. Dib glared along with him, and Lasch-mik had no choice but to accept this answer for the time being. And so she did.

"Ooohhh-kaaaayyyy~!" She said, turning to walk away, then said, "And I guess I'll just ask Vick my questions on Earthling anatomy~!" The two guys' eyes widened in fear, then narrowed once again.

"_You_ thinkin' what_ I'm_ thinkin'?!" Mumbled Agent Nessie quietly.

"Yeah -I don't need psychic powers to figure _that_ out~!" Replied Dib just as quietly, with a sarcastic grin on his face. They both grinned, then they found their replacement clothes immediately and rushed back to the camp-site.

Back at the camp...

"You've got absolutely _no_ idea how hard it is to shave your own body-hair," Vick was just regaling the other females in an annoying and horrifying revelation on human follicles and other facts.

The two prank victims were sneaking up behind the wall of jungle she was sitting in front of, with sadistic grins spread across both their faces. Vrilly was sitting across from her and saw them when she looked up; but just before she could warn her that they were there...

"HERE'S THE LAUNDRY!" Exclaimed Dib and Nessie, dumping their dirty laundry, socks and all, on top of her head. Then the bucket as well. They both laughed before taking off, knowing full-well that "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned -or pranked. Whichever one comes first!"

"UuuoooHHH!" Seethed Vick. Lasch-mik raised an invisible eyebrow and wondered where this was going -even though it was pretty easy to see. Vrilly seemed about to try to calm her down, when Clasps spoke up.

"You know, you really should've expected that," she said meekly, "blubbering" her blob-rolls in that way that meant that she was sorry for having mentioned it. Vick apparently didn't see things the same way as Clasps and Vrilly, since she jumped up and chased after the other two Earthlings.

"AAARRRRRGH!" She shouted, "I'LL GET YOOOOUUUUUU!"

There were a few moments of silence before Lasch-mik spoke up, drinking her alien tea-like drink in a glass that just had so miraculously been born from a branch, deceptively normal-looking. "Well," she took a sip of the personally-mixed concoction and continued, "At least now we know how most of the wars on their planet got started..." And, despite all appearances, it wasn't like she was right about that...

It was just that no one had the ability to argue against it.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

I'm sure that I might exceed it when I write these Author's Notes, but... WHEEE! I've finally written a chapter that's under 20,000 words! I don't know about you, but I was getting kind-of tired of having so many looooooong chapters~! (Hey, for a person who usually reads novels and writes novel-length chapters, that's really something, eh?)

Anyways, I enjoyed torturing a couple of the male characters in here. First, as always, it had to be Dib and Nessie~! Remember when I said that I was going to embarrass the males and Tarky? Well, that plan is a lot harder than I thought it would be...! Anyways, this Non-sexy Bathing Scene was brought to you by Lasch-mik, and the letter M! Because having anybody's mother walk in on you when you're a guy, bathing, is seriously embarrassing~! *Evil laughing*

But, don't worry! I'll embarrass the other males -and Tarky- later! For now, let's just enjoy the sounds of the screaming, off into the night!

ABOUT THE ALIENS:

I don't know if you've realized this, but my ideas for the aliens' biology is different than some other things you might have seen -because I don't want to be influenced by other peoples' ideas, I try to think about them on my own. You can take this as you wish, since I won't be changing my mind any time soon! Sos, beg and scream, because it'll get a lot worse from here on in!

That being said, I'll try to approach any sex-related things as cautiously and clinically as possibly. Like a true biologist! Wait, we're talking about cartoon aliens...!

What? What were we talking about, again?

MORE ALIENS TALKING ABOUT STUFF THAT THE HUMANS HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT, NEXT TIME~!

(Psst! I was really looking forward to writing that scene where Nessie forgets his cell-phone, BTW~!)

I don't have anything more to add to the notes, sos... *Pulls out an old pirate skeleton's sword* TALLY-HOOOOOOO!


	5. Piporh Learns Horrible Stomach Things

DISCLAIMER: I OWNZ NOTHING! And YOU CAN'T MAKE ME, EITHER!

Author's Notes: It's not that there's not a plot in here, it's just that it takes a _really_ long time to get to it! But, on the bright side, the aliens are fun~! But, forget that! PUPPETS!

* * *

**CHAPTER 5: "'What in the HECK was THAT!?' And THEN some~!"**

* * *

"Whelp, all annoyances aside, the cleaning thing seems to be going well," Tallest Purple surmised as they finished rolling up their puppet-ey-show curtain. At least some of the group had been cleaned. He didn't know about the others, but he was quite looking forward to a good scrubbing. Not looking forward to scrubbing himself on an alien planet, out in the open, but still hoping to get clean.

"Yeah- !" Started Tallest Red, but he paused a bit to think. 'I forgot what I was going to say.' He thought briefly.

"We should finally be able to get some cleansing stuff to clean ourselves off-" Tallest Purple finished for him. "Well, maybe before sunset..." They all looked to the unseen sunset and realized that it was too dark now. "Oh, well!" He and the other Tallest shrugged.

"What are we gonna' do all night? You know, besides sleeping;" Vick's reply was more directed at them than at the rest of the group. She'd bathed and was now reasonably dressed in a bikini-top woven from the different plant-fibers they'd found, and adorned with a decorative flower in the center. She had shorts on -not a typical bikini, because she didn't know how long she'd have to go without shaving- also woven from the same kind of stuff.

"Well:" Tallest Red had to think for a minute as he looked up, as though he'd actually see the sky through the soil-monster's skeleton. "It's safe to say that for at least a short time, we'll have to send Sploods up there to check the stars out. That is, if they're visible. There might be clouds or something..." Tallest Red looked over at Sploods, who was in the middle of a silent cheer with his arms visibly up. The Tallest raised -wait for it, wait for it- an invisible eyebrow -yes!- and tipped his antenna back a bit in expectation of an annoyance.

"Um, uh..." Sploods looked like a deer caught in the headlights. "W-wha, you can put on your puppet-show if there's clouds!"

'The sky's too bright at night without the clouds,' Tak helped him along. If he stayed down with them longer, then she got to get some reasonable rest.

"Th-the sky's too bright without the clouds to do the shadow-puppets!" Sploods hastily added, thanking everything merciful, along with Tak, that he'd talked his way out of that one.

"Well, yeah~..." Tallest Red rolled his eyes, then said, "But the first chance you get to see the sky, you're goin' up there!"

"Yeah!" Agreed Tallest Purple. "Oh, and NO chickening out this time! Your camouflage is finished~!" He grinned and showed the rather large piece of darkish-colored tarp that had yet to be properly colored with whatever the blackest stuff around there was to match the blackish soil-monster's-skeleton. And just a hint: it _wasn't_ the ashes from their camp-fire!

Sploods nodded and looked even more nervous as he tried not to show his pout.

"YOU'RE WELCOME!" Tallest Purple said as he hovered towards the edge of the camp-site. He stopped and picked off a stick from a tree; and had to placate an angry, fluffy little inhabitant that kept yelling and shaking its fist at him. He pulled another stick off the tree and handed it to -her?- and promptly hovered off.

When he had inspected the outer edge of their camp-site for potential somethings, whatever it was he was looking for, he headed back and found that everyone was staring at him. "What?!" He asked, as if it was the most obviously ordinary thing for him to be doing.

"Uhh...just to be sure, what exactly are you...doing? Sir?" Asked Ploopoh hesitantly.

"I just wanted to take a look around the edge of the camp-site! What?! Is that so WRONG?! Is there something that's going to ABSOLUTELY KILL ME if I DON'T STAY RIGHT INSIDE HERE!?" He gestured and waved his arms around, but strangely enough, the stick stayed sticking up on the ground. "..." The others looked at the mysterious stick, and eventually the Almighty Tallest looked, too. "Oh! Eh, heh! These little puppies are the 'Alive and probably something's offspring sticks'!" He picked it back up, and a weird little blue thing was seen on the bottom of said stick. "They're cool! I'm thinkin' of trainin' 'em!"

As he cheered himself over his particularly original choice of a stick, he floated back and checked out their puppet-ey-stage stuff, you know, just in case. They had to be ready to switch from Ordinary to Shadow puppets at the flick of a hand!

The light continued to fade into the grayish-black background, and as they faded into night, the stars imperceptibly came out. The clouds were thankfully still covering them, giving Sploods good reason to cheer. Inwardly, and quietly.

Tak, however, wasn't imperceptible like the stars and Sploods. "Wonderful! I won't have to haul Adviser Sploods' butt to the top of the soil-monster's-skeleton," Tak took a breath, "AND play look-out whilest he looks at the stars all night~!" The Tallest began to giggle, and Adviser Sploods started to glare at her. "What? What's wrong?" She asked calmly.

"Okay, first-off, I'm NOT a normal Irken soldier, and I'm not even allowed to operate heavy machinery!" Started Sploods, holding up a finger. "And SECOND-off, I'm Adviser to The Almighty Tallest! So, if you don't want to wind up a Food-service Drone, you'll keep your mouth shut about it!" Then he started to smirk and said sweetly, "Is that _alright_, Evil Irken Defect Exterminator?"

There was a short moment and Tak imperceptibly gulped. "Yes, Sir!" She realized that she'd pushed one too many buttons, and even with psychic powers, someone's mind could change quicker than a lifghpht-slug!

There wasn't much to do to escape from the embarrassment she'd caused to herself. She was sure Dib must be snickering about it behind her back, but she didn't want to poke into his mind to find out. She hoped that the conversation would change, and fast! She didn't have a hologram on her face to make her completely unemotive; just on her antenna, to make them look like they used to. Blaming Dib felt like a good thing to do at this point, but she also knew that it was her own fault. She hadn't thought about the unpleasant outcomes, so things wound up like this. If it were Dib, she'd've lectured him about not looking at every possible contingency. But she could only wish this entire thing were like a nightmare; then, perhaps, she could wake up from it... As Tak was waxing pathetically in her own mind...

"Are we ready to make the magnetic-tarsisus schtoph or the manny-nanny-ginsats?" Asked Clasps as she pulled herself out of her puddle-up-rest, and yawned, inflating with air to wake herself up. The rest of the relatively-quiet crew turned to look at her sudden re-appearance.

"No, Illeen, not yet." Lasch-mik said with a bit of a sigh. "You were asleep when Tarky used the magnetic-tarsisus schtoph, and you said that you'd go after him. Remember?" Then she really sighed. "I'll have to use some of that magnetic-tarsisus schtoph as well and I don't know if we've gathered enough of it." She turned and eyed Tarky, who was just as shiny and glowing as a new-born deep-sea worm!

Tarky didn't quite seem to get the message, as he stared for a few minutes, looked around, and then stared right at her again. It was obvious he either hadn't heard or wasn't listening. He usually would care, but occasionally he had a bit of a mood. And, right now, caring was the least of their worries.

"Okay! Everyone!" Shouted Tallest Purple, as he waved his arm up high in order to get everybody's attention. "We're all ready!" That didn't work. Instead, Tallest Red took up the bellows; Purple used to whine about how he cramped his style. Well, he ought to have spoken better, huh?!

"WE'RE READY! EVERYBODY, SIT DOWN AND SHUT-UP!" Came Tallest Red's yell. Once they were all quiet -not that they weren't already- he pulled back their make-shift curtains and yelled at Vrilly for the "LIGHTS!"

Everyone looked around before they finally turned to look at what Vrilly was doing. She was picking up some pieces of wood that had been stuck in the fire, and when she lifted them up, they were revealed to be torches. She then asked someone else to hold them because they were too hot. The Tallest scoffed at her "weakness" and then reached out some claws from their PAKs to hold both the torches up behind them whilest they put on their show -one of the few times they'd seen them use them.

To be honest, there was hardly any stick left on the wood because of the flames. But the Tallests' metal claws were definitely able to handle the flames from the small torches. They held them so near to the ground, that Vrilly commented that next time, they'd do better just to stick them into the ground. Tak then had to point out that the ground they were sitting on was still a part of the soil-monster's skeleton, and that she'd have to drill holes in it and chemically melt it like she had for Clasps' bed, in order to do that.

After which the Almighty Tallest shushed everybody and began their shadow-puppetey-play...

"A long time ago," Tallest Red narrated, "There was this long, little tube-beast." The puppets appeared behind a pale yellow wooden screen, that nobody could tell where they'd gotten it from. It was made of thin pieces of wood strips, around six inches wide, put together so seamlessly that no one could tell where the seams were with the lights behind them.

The puppetey-theater was only about two feet high and three feet wide, but the large, dark curtains around it obscured the puppetey-masters as they manipulated their shadowy creatures. And the whole thing sat only three feet off the ground -but only because the Tallest couldn't find long enough support-poles without someone sacrificing their life to the tube-pole trees in order to get longer ones. Them things were reported to be scary, or so some of the wandering fairies had told them. A few of the fairies stopped by to see how the show was going.

The "long, little tube-beast" appeared as a weird, woogily-looking noodle. When it moved, one could swear that it was actually wiggling; instead, it was a wiggly-shaped stick that Tallest Purple had found, and Tallest Red twirled it to make it appear behind the screen as if it was actually moving. The next puppet that appeared was wide and large; it had to be Tallest Purple's Wannol, the Wandering Minstrel puppet, re-purposed into another thing for this shadow-performance.

"The Puppetey-beast of Wan-da Rind-strels-" Tallest Red was interrupted in his narration by Tallest Purple whispering to him.

"Psst! Don't call it a _puppet_!" His whisper was, unfortunately, heard by the rest of the audience. They decided to stay silent, since these two tended to get violent if their puppetry was interrupted. It was a wise decision afterall.

"Sshhh! Don't interrupt the narration! And I can do anything that I want to!" Tallest Red hissed back to him before continuing on in his narration. "*Achem* Anyways, the Puppetey-beast of Wan-da Rind-strels was a large, big, uh...thing." Tallest Red paused, as if trying to remember where he was in his narration.

"Which, wasn't like a puppet at _all_, even though everybody called it that!" Tallest Purple added, and Tallest Red seemed to pout a bit with a small moan, but it seemed that he expected and accepted it, as there were no shushed discussions.

"Which is why, when the long, little tube-beast, now called 'Piporh', arrived in front of it, he was so amazed." Tallest Red continued. Tallest Purple poked him and whispered something again about that.

"I thought we hadn't decided on a name for 'em, yet!" Unseen behind the curtains, Tallest Red glared back at the other Tallest.

"So?! We hadn't decided on a gender, either! But, now that I've said it, we can't go back!" Tallest Red hissed and then returned to the story. "We can't exactly tell you how large it was, but if Piporh was about the size of one of your fingers, then the Puppetey-beast of Wan-da Rind-strels was...uh...!" Tallest Red paused and thought a moment. Tallest Purple giggled quietly and poked him about something.

"Say that joke we did! Hehehiggh!" He almost whispered quietly.

"No, I won't! Only _we'd_ get that joke! Now, don't poke me about it!" Tallest Red whispered in annoyance, about to go back to his narration.

"What?! But, it was ingenious!" Tallest Purple whispered back, and almost poked his arm once more. Tallest Red pulled his arm away and flapped at his hand to try and slap it.

"That's not the _point_! Sheesh, you never learn how to improvise correctly!" Tallest Red whispered back, and tried to clear his throat once more with an, "*Achem*!"

"Then what about before, huh?!" Tallest Purple hissed back. The rest of the audience, in the meanwhile, was waiting, and someone got enough courage mustered up to say something.

"Meandering _sto~o_ry!" Stated Vick, and both Tallests were forced to think of where they last left off. This, ironically, took a while.

Once everything was settled down back-stage, and some of the fairies got "seated" by finding nice spots in mid-air, the puppet-show began again.

"The long, little tube-beast was wandering towards the Puppetey-beast of Wan-da Rind-strels. It stopped, er, _he_ stopped, and stared up, impressed with its immense, uh, vastness of bulk!" Tallest Red continued once more, and it finally looked like they'd gotten into the swing of things.

"Then the fire fell." Tallest Purple stated. Tallest Red was profoundly confused, but apparently Tallest Purple was trying to show off his ability to ad-lib. Well, _two_ could play at that game~!

Tallest Red switched puppets by leaning his on the stage-ledge and pulling up a few flowers. He let them fall down and made firey-explosion-noises. "When the fires started falling down, Wan-da of Rind-strels was in a sheer panic! The nearby town, uh, village, was running around making stupid noises and stuff." He then threw a few at the Puppetey-beast of Wan-da Rind-strels and laughed inwardly while Tallest Purple glared at him. He grinned in sheer glee.

"Oh, no!" Started Tallest Purple, but then he added, "The fires hit the Puppetey-beast of Wan-da Rind-strels and yet it would not burn! Because it was amazingly well-built! And, it was made from fire and water-proof fibers~! Wi-with! A center made of stone!" Then Tallest Purple promptly stuck his tongue out at Tallest Red.

"The long, little tube-beast was amazed to see such a resilient puppetey-beast, and immediately it begged it- uh- he, begged it, to show him what kind of stuff could possibly make him as powerful." Tallest Red had been glaring at Tallest Purple, but he smirked as he imagined this would throw him for a loop, play-acting for an inanimate object! Tallest Purple didn't care, though.

"That's right! Because, as we all well know, even though this puppetey-beast was not a puppet, and was not manipulated by anyone, it could still talk! It was an AMAZING Puppetey-beast, and maybe even an A.I.," Tallest Purple added that last part and looked at Tallest Red with a slight, "I don't know" look.

Tallest Red just shrugged in response to this. "'I know that you're amazingly well-built, Puppetey-beast of Wan-da Rind-strels, but I am just a long, little tube-beast,' said Piporh," Tallest Red now imitated his small, pipe-ey voice. "'But, what are those materials which the builders used to make you so amazingly well-built?! Pretty-please tell me, because I'm just so tiny; though I am long.'"

"After thinking a while, the Puppetey-beast of Wan-da Rind-strels said, 'I know what you want,'" Tallest Purple was now narrating, and the voice he chose for the Puppetey-beast of Wan-da Rind-strels was low and gruff -though he wasn't intending on it- and it was funny to hear him put on such a deep voice. Everyone almost laughed, but most covered their mouths and snickered a little bit. "'The answer that you are looking for is a long and complicated one. Almost so long, that you could cover your whole body while looking for it!'" Tallest Purple snickered at his own, complicated, joke. Tallest Red at the others just wondered about him.

"'Then, alright! That's exactly what I want!' Replied the long, little tube-beast, for he had mistaken the long comment as something else. 'I want to be able to cover my whole body with that stuff, and then I'll be invulnerable to those flaming...uh, fire things that are falling down.'" Tallest Red continued with his narration. At this point, both Tallest Red and Tallest Purple had strayed so far off their intended script, that the only things they had in common were the puppets they'd made up. So, what was going to happen next was a mystery, even to the puppet-masters!

"'Collect these materials, just as I tell you to do; only collect them when you have time to. Don't rush, and you will have all that you wanted: an amazingly well-built structure to protect you from the falling fire.'" Tallest Purple's narration was unusually interesting, and even Tallest Red was intrigued with what he was doing. He decided to follow it. This was actually kind-of cool!

"'Alright, I'll collect 'em! What do you want me to do?!' The overly-enthusiastic long, little tube-beast, exclaimed as he wriggled." Tallest Red wriggled his puppet and everyone started to laugh. For some reason, that was funny~! "Even though the Puppetey-beast of Wan-da Rind-strels had already said to take it easy." He added as he wriggled it.

"'Well, alright, the first thing is to...' the Puppetey-beast of Wan-da Rind-strels started to regale him with all the things that he needed to get. Then he was finished, and he hoped that it was long enough to keep the long, little tube-beast away from him and occupied for a very long time...hopefully, for the rest of its hideous little life!" Tallest Purple's narration contained no clue as to the identity of these vague materials. Everyone was sufficiently confused.

Tallest Red glared: that little snide remark about keeping the long, little tube-beast busy for the rest of its hideous little life was, unfortunately, a jibe at how long this scene was going on for. He continued on, "The long, little tube-beast Piporh stood in awe at first, and then exclaimed, 'Alright! I'ma do it! And then I'll come back here and show you, and everybody in Wan-da Rind-strels my new structure!'" The audience cheered a little, since it seemed like some sort of adventure would shortly take place. Tallest Purple glared, because he knew that was Tallest Red getting back at him.

"Then, the little, long tube-beast thing -that's what everybody called him, not by his real name, Piporh- wandered off in search of the materials the Puppetey-beast of Wan-da Rind-strels had told him about." Tallest Purple took his turn to end the scene and pulled down a curtain to black things out.

The curtain opened up again with a couple of things in the way to sort-of look like scenery and rocks of some sort. "Piporh, the long, little tube-beast thing, walked across the -uh, hot! burning desert!" Tallest Red quickly came up with something half-way interesting. "It was amazing how well he walked, considering that he was just a tube-beast thing, and he had no legs or feet at all!" The audience giggled as the wiggling stick wiggled once more.

Tallest Purple was getting annoyed at having no amusing puppet to play with, and so he use a piece of wood with an interesting twig on its end that made it look like a one-winged bird when placed near the pale wood to cast a shadow. He flew it around above and made some strange bird-like noises. "The flibey-jibelly words of the flibey birds cut him deep into his long, little tube-beastery-heart!" His bird-like thing eventually flew off-stage.

"Many were the angry flibey birds, but their words, although paining, were not as many." Tallest Red smirked, knowing that Tallest Purple would have to come up with something else. And so he did!

"Were it not for the burning deserted sun, they would have come out of their hiding-places in more numbers. But, as it was too hot for many of them to fly, they...all pulled straws and had whoever pulled the shortest straw fly around his woogily little head!" Tallest Purple pulled out the bird again and made some more strange, bird-like sounds, but this time slightly pained. Then he pulled it off-stage again.

Tallest Red, annoyed that he'd managed to pull something out that was actually a good excuse, started narrating again. "There wasn't any place for Piporh to hide in without being pecked apart by those strange birds, so he decided to hide in a cave, where it was cool." The triumphant look on his face gave way to panic as they both realized how hard it would be to rig a "cave" look with shadows.

They scrambled for the stuff they had at their disposal, whispering to each other quickly, until they pulled out another screen and held it up. This "screen" had been a failure, but they used its frame to put their other puppets, Wannol the Wandering Minstrel and Senor Snakeyton, at the top and bottom, as if they were the floor and ceiling of the cave. The curtain pulled across the background to give a fade to black, and then opened up again with the cave-scene set. Piporh woogiled right in. "Whew!" They were heard to whisper, "That was close, huh?"

"It was dark and pleasantly cool in the cave, and Piporh wandered his way in until he almost couldn't find the light of the entrance." Tallest Red continued on with his narration. "Piporh wondered if he'd have to make a fire or something to mark his way...and then he remembered that he didn't know how to. He should ask the next person he came across if they knew how to make a fire. For future reference." Tallest Purple glared and whispered.

"What?! How'd he make it that long without knowing how to make a fire?!" The other Tallest leaned in and they talked in shushed whispers, though not entirely inaudible.

"Well, everybody else in the village just did it for him!"

"Wait, then that would mean that, he's like, a super-young kid!"

"Don't just tell me, tell the audience that!" Tallest Red's last word on the subject made Tallest Purple jerk his head up and then duck down to pull up yet another puppet.

This one was a floppy piece of leaf or petal from something, and when he held it close to the wood panel with his long, thin fingers, only its floppy form was seen. This he wiggled around in front of Piporh and said, "An inhabitant of the cave-system, ah...dornk! That wasn't at all like the flibey birds, but could only live inside these caves, made his appearance! He flew around the surprised long, little tube-thing, and said, 'Oi! Look what we 'ave 'ere! A long, lit'le tube-thing, eh? Where's your caretakers, eh? Eh?!'"

There were several snickers, and no on paid attention to the fact that these were aliens making jokes with English accents. Not that they should've, considering that they were only cognizant of the three walls that surrounded them.

"The long, lit'le-er, little tube-thing said, 'Oh! I'm going around the world, picking up materials and stuff to make a super-strong structure! Can you help?!'" Tallest Red's illustration continued, and everyone's distracted attention was grabbed once more.

"'Oi! What am I, your cranny, eh?!' Shouted the, uh, dornk, as it settled on a stalag-e-thing. 'I bet you wants me ta 'elp you build a fire, now, 'ight?!'" Tallest Purple's accent was spot-on, and it was hard for Tallest Red not to snicker at that whilest he prepared a puppet to play the part of the fire.

"'If you'd please, Sir, I'd like to learn how to build one, so could you show me how?' Asked the horrible little hopeful, long, little tube-thingy, Piporh." Tallest Red tilted his wiggly-stick and wiggled it, as if he was leaning up to make entreaty to this dornk. The fake fire, some flowers, was standing by, on-hand, ready for action!

"'Aaarrrgeee! Why can't these *grumble mumble* caretakers ever take care of their own *mumble grumble* s-small thingies!' Growled the grumpy dornk; but, he ended up doing it, in the end." Tallest Purple's dornk puppet flopped around, seemingly gathering stuff, before it settled and suddenly a "flame" sprung up from between Piporh and the dornk.

"'Wow, that was weird, but fun!' Stated Piporh, for he hadn't seen anyone making fire in all his life -the caretakers usually decided that he was flammable, and kept him away from all flames- and stoves." Tallest Red's narration ended with him and Purple in a giggle. They took a while to get a deep breath before starting again. As they did, somehow the flowers for the fake fire were scattered, and Tallest Red improvised by shouting, "S-suddenly, the fire spread! 'Aaahhh!' Screamed Piporh!"

"'OH, IT'S SPREADING, OH, OH, I KNEW IT WAS A BAD IDEA TO 'ELP THAT PIPORH!' Shouted the dornk as he flew off, deeper into the caves." Tallest Purple was having the funnest time, flopping that thing around as if he was panicking... That wasn't too far from the truth, since they hadn't any idea what they were going on about! This was about as off-the-cuff as a surfer beach-party gets!

"'No, no, wait! Come back!' Screamed little Piporh, as he wiggled after him." Tallest Red wiggled his little stick off-screen, and they blacked it out with curtains to try and see what they could do about the background again. They needed to make it look slightly different, but still the same cave-like.

Tallest Purple decided on spike-nerds! Those weird little loooong plant-things which didn't actually have painful, poisonous spikes, like the rest of them had. Spike-nerds were placed on top to give the appearance of stalactites and on the bottom for stalagmites. The curtain opened up again to reveal the slightly-new background.

"*Achem* As Piporh -" Tallest Red paused as Tallest Purple poked him about taking his turn. He pouted and let him do it.

"*Achems!* As the long, little tube-thing wandered throughout the cave, he just kept getting more and more lost! He wasn't used to caves, it seems." Tallest Purple's narration was poignant and served as the backdrop for some more dangerous background music...if they'd actually had any. "The cave was dark, and slippery, and he kept stubbing his toe on the exact same rock! ...That's strange, considering he didn't have any!" Everybody giggled at that little comment, and Tallest Red took up the narration.

"Yes, you see, Piporh's kind weren't raised underground like some of us...!" He plainly trailed off with such pomposity, that no one thought anything of it. They were kind-of used to the way those two acted, by now. They were really supposed to, after all. "The dornk was no where to be found." As everyone listened, Tallest Purple prepared something behind the scenes with a rustling of pale tan and light-brown "fabric", or what sounded like crepe.

"The cave was darker, now that there was no light from the fire, but for some reason he was feeling strangely hot, and tingly, as if thousands of little sparks had hit him all at once!" Tallest Purple said as he held the light-brown stuff up to the screen -it appeared black, naturally enough- to imitate something at the floor of the cave. Tallest Red happily interpreted what this stuff was. Which was probably not Purple's original idea.

"'Ah! What's THAT stuff?!' Exclaimed the little tube-thing as he stopped right in front of some extremely hot stuff. It produced no light, but an awful lot of heat! It must've been lava, of some weird, wiggly-crinkley sort...!" Tallest Red made Piporh wriggle at the scary new stuff.

"But! Uh, suddenly, from up above, came this weird, wheeling-thing!" Tallest Purple took a wheel-shaped object -yes, that's right, a natural wheel-shaped object, part of some plant, and hand-sized- and put a stick through its center. Then he flew it down in a dive-bombing maneuver towards Piporh, who seemed like he had to duck. "Poor little, long Piporh was forced to, uh-" He trailed off as he lost his train of thought.

"Jump from stalactite to stalactite!" Exclaimed Tallest Red, as he made Piporh hop on the spikes.

"That's stalag_mite_!" Whispered Tallest Purple loudly.

"Oh! Uh, he didn't even know what they were, he just kept hopping!" Tallest Red quickly covered for his mistake, and everybody who knew the difference between them smirked and snickered.

Tallest Purple suddenly decided on a change of scenery, and so he said, "All that hopping on _stalagmites_ had to lead him somewhere, and...it did!" He started messing with stuff behind the stage, and Tallest Red decided to come up with his own idea.

"He found himself inside of a giant, up-side-down and inside-out geode!" Tallest Red stated. He waited patiently for Tallest Purple to flail around as he tried to copy what he'd said.

"Which-" Tallest Purple didn't appear flustered, even though he was, "-was just like an ordinary geode, with the only exception of being completely NOT like a geode was." The screen was blacked out and he pulled the spike-nerds into a large, round ball, poking his fingers on it, and gratefully un-poisoned. He put it at one half of the stage.

Tallest Red was confused by his description, but decided that two could play at that game. "'Wow!' Exclaimed Piporh, 'Maybe I can steal some and make some money off of it!'" He wiggled his puppet-stick to make it look like Piporh was trying to extract a crystal from it.

"The long, little tube-thing had no way of knowing that, uh...!" Tallest Purple paused a bit. As Red smirked, he finally added, "This particular inside-out, up-side-down geode was the opposite egg-laying nest for the Mother of the Mountain...! Woo~oooohhhh!"

The audience, most of whom had had personal experiences with the sentient mountains close by, went, "Ooohhh!"

"While the little, long tube-thingy was pulling away at one of the crystals, a crumbling occurred!" Tallest Red stated. Tallest Purple gave him a confused glance as he tried to figure out how to do that.

He finally settled on making crumbling noises before speaking, "'Crrck! Crrrrck!' Came the sounds of something speaking! 'Crrck! Who's that pokin' at my nest-node?!'" The other Tallest looked at him with a look that was only described as, "What?" and he continued, "Then a big, uh, rock-momma-thing arose out of the outside-middle! It wasn't a some_thing_, it was a some_one_! Out of the inside-out up-side-down geode nesting thingy!" The hilarity of his motherly-voice being a little bit lower than his own voice was not lost on the audience. They snickered accordingly.

Though his narrative was a mite obvious, the less-obvious thing was that Tallest Purple didn't have any idea what to use as the rock-momma-thing! So, instead, he used his hand covered in some of that tan-colored, fabric-like stuff.

With the gauntlets that they always wore, this made it look relatively huge and ominous. The only down-side was that he couldn't move his hand for the rest of this character's scene. Oh, well! "'Oh! Please, large rock-momma-uh, whoever you are! Pretty-please, don't hurt me!'" Tallest Red begged as Piporh, making it look like he was tilting his head back to look at her while cowering on the ground. This effect was only achieved through shadows, since his woogily-stick would not bend.

"In a strange turn of events, the rock-momma snickered! 'Oh, I'm not going to hurt you, little wiggley!' She said, 'I love children!'" Tallest Purple was taking this decidedly on a different track than the ones they'd been on previously -at least, with this planet's rock-people- and Tallest Red wanted to go along with it.

"'Oh, oh! Wait, do you mean that you love little children in a NICE way, or to EAT 'em?!' Asked Piporh while he shivered. 'And please say that you mean it in a nice way...!'" Tallest Red made his little stick-puppet shake as he wiggled, and this made Tallest Purple snicker.

He snickered enough that he exclaimed, "'Oh, what a silly little thing you are! Of course I'm not going to EAT you!... I only eat adults!'" This made the others smirk warily. "The long, little tube-thing had never been so glad to be a child! The rock-momma asked, 'What's your name, little wiggley-thing-child?'"

"'M-m-me?!' Asked Piporh, still a little worried, 'I-I'm Piporh! An-and I'm on-on a quest! To see the world- no, wait! That's not it! To get enough materials to make me a nice, strong outside so that I can withstand the firey-things that fall! Faaa~aalll! Whvhoosh!'" Tallest Red made the Puppet wiggle back and forth, as if he were animatedly telling his own story. Irony is fun. "'Just like the Puppety-Beast of Wan-da Rind-strels said! To look for the materials, an-and not to worry about the time!'"

"'Well, that'd be a difficult task if you don't have any moneys!' The momma-rock-thing agreed. 'I have some broken crystals at the bottom, here -why don't you take them? And sell them in the city of Irony-iron!'" Tallest Purple moved his hand a little and the movement made the spike-nerds shake.

Tallest Red made Piporh wiggle in towards it and poke his nose at the ground, before moving back to speak with the momma-rock-thing again. "'Thanks, Momma-rock! Now I'm off to go to the city of Irony-iron!'" He made it look like Piporh was wiggling to turn around, but then Tallest Purple spoke up.

"'No, no! Don't go over there! Just follow the wiggley-lava and it'll show you the way out,' the momma-rock called out, because he was headed in the wrong direction. 'Oh, and don't follow the red stuff, just the hot, un-colored wiggley-lava!'" Tallest Red followed Purple's "Rock-momma" instructions, and went past the spike-nerds nest, forcing Purple to lift his arm up. It looked for all the world like the momma-rock was watching him go.

"'Okay! Thanks, Momma-rock for all the-WOAH!'" Tallest Red left it up to Tallest Purple to figure out where, how, and why he'd made his character fall off the edge of the stage.

"'Should've told him to mind the gap,' Said the rock-momma as he tumbled over the side of a rather large one. This gap was several sippos wide, but thankfully the dark -or, uncolored- lava was at the bottom." Tallest Purple's narration made everyone giggle, as they blacked out the screen to change props.

They settled on laying one of their hand-puppets on the ground and hanging one on the side. Then they took a piece of wood and set that at the edge, as if it was the entrance to a cave or somewhere sticking out of somewhere.

Tallest Red continued the narrative, "The long, little tube-thing wiggled along the cave floor. Occasionally he came across spots of heat where the uncolored lava was, but he tried to keep it to one side. His left one. 'Finally! There's light!' He said as he saw some peeping out of a hole." Tallest Red stopped him in front of the entrance-wood.

"He had to stop to make sure that it was actually light, and not the red-colored lava," Tallest Purple continued on, "Though he was pretty sure it was." Tallest Red wiggled his stick-puppet past the wood-entrance and Purple let the curtains down to black it out once more.

Change of props was easy by this point. They just removed the other puppet-props, and the stick of wood, and left it bare save for a couple of sticks and a few flowers hanging down by their stems from the top of the theater. It looked like there were weird, dark suns hanging on thread from the sky when they opened up, and two sticks sticking up and out of the ground. These were part of a twig, lying on its side.

Tallest Red wiggled Piporh along as he continued, "The long, little tube-thing wiggled along in the, uh, wilderness! All alone, save for the watery-sticks of death and the hanging, up-side-down trees of Floobean."

"AND the non-hanging, non-up-side-down birds of Flarvean!" Tallest Purple found a small piece of blackened stuff that looked a little bird-like, and used it to fly around up above Piporh. He'd forgotten where the other bird-like puppetey-things went.

"Piporh wiggled along, noticing these birds, but he didn't want to say anything to them. His last adventure with birds was less than pleasant." Tallest Red continued wiggling the woogily-stick, as if he were walking.

"And! The non-hanging, non-up-side-down birds of Flarvean didn't know or care, so they had wanted very much to say something to him!" Narrated Tallest Purple as he held the blackened piece of stuff in place long enough, flapping, to make it say something. "'You're new here, aren't ya'?! Aren't ya'?! Aren't ya'?! Squwaaark!'"

"Just as Piporh responded with, 'Uh, hello!', it went-" The light went out just as Tallest Red said that. "-Black. Uh," there was some shuffling as they both tried to remedy what just happened. "What?!" Their rather loud whispers, however, were not unheard.

"Wait a minute!"

"What's that pinping?!"

"Cck! Crack crack crack!"

"Hey, quit that, we need to concentrate!"

"It, was the beginning of the planet's looong looong night! Which lasted for hundreds of days, in fact! That's why we'll choose now to have an intermission! Take some time to stretch your legs or wiggleys, and to use the bushes and stuff, and, uh, we'll come back to you after the break!" Tallest Purple's choice was a classic stage-out! They didn't even take the time to black out the stage, since it already was. Instead, they had to figure out how to get the fire back again. That wasn't the real problem, though...it was just that they'd gotten themselves so entangled in the stage and props, that they were having a hard time getting out again!

"Vrilly!" Called Tallest Purple. She looked up, suddenly snapping to attention as she realized that she was their stage-hand. "We need more lights! ...And, possibly, some help...!"

With the intermission came even more interesting sounds. Such as, "UUUWIggliiiggGLLUUHHH!" and "IRuuuughHRRRHHHH!" And some interesting conversations, like this:

Purple: "Hey, who turned the pip-lines in a ron-rollol?!"

Red: "I did not tip-lin it~! But it's stuck!"

Vrilly: "Well, if you wouldn't have put it in the inside of it, none of this would've -ugh!- happened!...WOAH!" *Collapsing sounds as she falls.*

Red: "Hey, whose are the- _is_ this?!"

Purple: "It's not! You can't prove it!"

Red: "What? But all I said was-"

Vrilly: "Wheeew! That was hard! But, I'm finally out of that- WOAH!" *Collapsing of the other stage stuff*

Purple: "NOW look what you've done! People are gonna' start getting upset, you know!"

Red: "It's not MY fault, the viggle-wiggle's all wrong~!"

Purple: "You're gonna' have a lot of explainin' to do when we get back!"

Vrilly: "I said I was SORRY!"

Red: "It's not your clumsy feet's fault! It's just him."

Purple: "*Gasp* How dare you point! Here! You wanna' point?! How do you like THEM POINTS now, huh?! HUH?!"

Red: "Watch it, that's his fingers!"

Vrilly: "I'll just leave you alone, now..."

Red/Purple: "No, wait! Vrilly, come back! We haven't set up the puppety-theater!"

Vrilly: "I don't think you can set it up with your legs entangled..."

Red/Purple: *Pause* "Huh?!"

Purple: "Wait, how'd we get mixed up with this like that again?!"

Red: "Wait just a minute, I think I have a plan..."

Purple: "You're not going to use that again..."

Red: "Woah, woah!" *Weird wurbling sound.* "Wait!" *Some sputtering.* "Huh?!" *The poof of failure.* "Ulgh! *Cough cough* The smoke!"

Purple: "I should've TOLD you!" *Voice muffled by something* "That that won't work!"

Red: "It's not my fault! We shoved it in there all...uhwahuh, wrong!"

Vrilly: "WOOOAAAH, WATCH OUT!"

*Pause of silence*

Purple: "Well, I don't blame you for all this, but it is your fault!"

Red: "Wait, what? What do you mean you don't blame me, it's still yours!"

Purple: "I never made it wiggle like this!"

Red: "Then why don't you!- Oh, hey, here! We'll get this thing here and wrap it around Purple!"

Purple: "That's MY puppet, now give it back!"

Red: "No, way! Not until my Red comes back from the under-ovens!"

Purple: "That's no fair!"

Red: "It's _not fair_!... But that's only _half_ of it!" *Sound of something popping.*

Purple: "This was a dead-head a minute ago!"

Red: "*Funny accent* No! That's the dead-head, behind you!"

Purple: "Why, I oughta'-!" *Struggling as if he's about to attack Red.*

Red: "Whaaauuugh!"

Vrilly: "Hey! Waiiiit! I wanted to grab this one! *A small explosion.* Wow...! Well, that was very cool and everything...!"

Purple: "Hey, look! We can move our legs again...!"

Red: "Oh, pooh...! And I never did get to strangle your Purple...!"

Vrilly stepped out from behind the puppetey-theater and said, "Well...! Now that that's figured out, we-" She stopped when she looked at the audience. Even more people had gathered, and they all were laughing and giggling... She wondered what in the world was going on...

"Wow, that was a great little side-show!" Lard-nar said with a wicked grin, though he tried to keep it small.

"Really! You could've at least warned us about that kind of thing!" Lasch-mik pretended to sound disapproving while she smirked behind her hand.

"I think I liked that even better than the puppet-show!" Was all Vick said as she snickered behind her hand.

Nessie was too busy laughing to explain what he was laughing about. If they ever sold this as a radio show, those old things might start making a come-back!

The rest just collapsed into fits of laughs and giggling, and the Almighty Tallest, undaunted by whatever was amusing the audience in front of their puppetey-theater, were too busy messing with their stage-stuff to pay any attention. I love those annoyingly-long run-on sentences, don't you?

After they got the stages and stuff figured out, and the lighting lit, they opened the curtains back up and began again...this time, in the day-time!...In the puppety-show...it was still night-time on the planet right now...

The long, little tube-worm's shadow appeared behind the screen, and the two coordinated catastrophes started up the narration once again. "*Achem* It was a looong time-" there was a pause, then the whispering, "No, no! This time it's MY turn, not yours! Remember that! You started it, and- *sigh* okay, fine! Bomb, Trap, Stabby-thing! You win! *Sigh*..." Red's voice faded, and Tallest Purple's voice was heard again.

"It wasn't THAT long a night, but it sure felt like that to Piporh! And when he woke up in the morning, once again, he had just enough time to exclaim..." Tallest Purple waited for Tallest Red to make his voice.

"'Oh, wow, am I not dead yet?!'!" This joke made everyone in the audience giggle. The Tallest giggled for an unusually-long time before Red continued. "Then Piporh the long, little tube-thing made his way through that, uh...place! He walked -uh, he WIGGLED- all the way to the city of Irony-iron!" He paused a minute. "And, then he had to poop."

Tallest Purple whacked him on the top of the head with a reddish pole of wood, and then held it up to the screen, along with other short poles like it, to simulate the city. Then said, "He hopped in unconstipated, pressurized agony while he hoped to find signs to where the public restrooms were."

Tallest Red continued, "But, there were none. And all the stores required that you buy something before you could use their facilities! He thought about his list of things to get for his armour, but just as he was reciting it back to himself, he...said, 'Aww, forget it!' And ran into a Dinostation to buy some candy and something to drink. Then he raced to the back of the store, and instantly regretted not going further into the city to find a good restroom." There were grossed-out sounds, and Lard-nar seemed to shiver involuntarily at some unseen memory. Tak decided that she didn't want to find out what that was. The scene hadn't changed, but everyone's imaginations were enough.

"There was no way to describe that kind of horror through puppets...but, we'd like to try!" Stated Purple, pulling back some of the stage-props. Tallest Red saw that the lines were caught and tried to tell him to stop. It was too late. The curtains and the entire back-stage collapsed, with the exception of the puppetey-stage at the front. They rolled around in the back until they managed to pull two puppets up and hold them in front of the screen. "'We'll be right back, after these explosions~!'" Stated the newly-designated "help, we're stuck in our own props again" puppet. Who knows what it was, it looked just like a sock, though...

They pulled the curtains back up and went ahead with the story in record time, while all the while their audience was still wondering if they could get refreshments. "The next place that Piporh went," Tallest Purple started again, and had to get poked for something once more. "Oh, come on! We just started up again!" Sighs, a mumble and a grumble, and then the puppetey-scene changed and things that looked like dangling artistry adorned the stage. "The next place that Piporh went, he bought some stuff that wasn't really on his list...but, since he couldn't remember exactly what that list was, he was better off buying it."

Tallest Red eyed him, thinking, 'What?!' but went with it. "'Hey, what are these little things?' He asked the store-keeper, who said to him, 'HEY! STOP TOUCHIN' THAT!'" The "store-keeper" was actually a stick with pieces sticking out of it like limbs. It was pretty funny, actually, since that puppet required absolutely no manipulating aside from moving it around...wait, that counts as manipulating, doesn't it? Tallest Purple's stick-shop-keeper was entertaining in a whole new fashion -whoever heard of a shop-keeper who was so stiff as a stick?!

Tallest Red "ran" Piporh out of the store and then said, "As Piporh was running from the irate stick-keeper-er, STORE-KEEPER, he ran into some local kids of the Irony-iron city!" Tallest Purple eventually pulled up a few new sticks and had them hopping around. "It was crazy the kinds of stuff they were into! Especially when they pulled all the wires out of that one wall!" Tallest Purple found something that looked like wires -some tall grasses- and plopped it onto the scene.

"The wires were still hooked up, so, uh...hee hee hee, more adventures in fire for Piporh!" Tallest Purple explained, trying his hardest to think of what he'd thought up before they'd had their back-stage-prop-adventures. It wasn't working. Instead, other things were happening!

"'I thought you said that you just had to pull those wires for a moment!' Exclaimed Piporh. 'WHERE'S ALL THIS FIRE COMING WITH -OUT OF?!' As he ran, screaming, with those few little Irony-iron kids close behind him!" Tallest Red snickered as he run-wiggled his little Piporh-stick-puppet along with Purple's from the apparent flames. Flames were actually flowers Purple was flopping around to look like fire.

At the scene-change, Purple continued on in the narrative whilest Red chose which stuff to use. "But, at last, the fire burned out, and those oppressive Burghabu-huffings of the horp-praohgsh were stopped, and, eventually, peace reigned for the kids of the city of Irony-iron...along with the fire-suppressant."

The scene changed to something simple once again. This looked like the previous desert scene, only without the up-side-down trees hanging from the sky. "Piporh continued on, once again, on his long, horrible journey, to get himself a fire-ball-resistant outer-shell." Tallest Red narrated.

"Which, if he'd stayed in the city of Irony-iron any longer, he'd have already. 'Cause they were having a half-off sale after that raging fire was started!" Tallest Purple added, and Red raised a non-existent eyebrow at his odd, humorous additive. That was not flame-resistant.

"The road was long, and Piporh almost died from exhaustion, but once again, he finally reached a town!" Explained Red, as he showed with his wiggling stick how excitedly-happy Piporh was to have reached it. "The only problem was...everyone was out of town!" Now it was Tallest Purple's turn to look at him in confusion. "They were on holiday!"

Eventually they moved the background -which they'd kind-of forgot about- and put a couple of pieces of wood to look like there was stuff like a town around which Piporh wiggled.

Piporh -wiggled by Tallest Red- moved around and seemed to be wandering. Tallest Red exclaimed, "'Wow, I've never heard of an entire town taking the time off for a holiday!' So Piporh wondered if anyone would mind if he helped himself to facilities." Just then, Tallest Purple moved a little plant that looked like a square little box with a bobbly-flower on a spring-like stalk into the scene. His voice-over was animated and lively. _(*Snickers* So very animated~! And alive...!)_

"'HEY, HEY, HEY! You can't just come wooglin' around, without any escort! What's wrong with you?!' Came the voice of a little alien...uh, I mean, a little robot! 'I'm the official Greeter and Entertainer 'bot for this here town of Infinite Security!' Then he waved his hand around. Too bad it was invisible." Tallest Purple concluded this introduction, and the other puppeteer glared at him. Tallest Purple ignored him, and pulled out a rectangular-leaf and used it like a flag on one of the sticks. Then he stuck it in his hand with the robot-flower-box puppet and said, "'Here, I'll show you around! Have a decorative flag souvenir!' As Piporh took it, he said, 'That'll be one Money!'" Tallest Red rolled his eyes and groaned, along with several members of the audience, as they remembered something similar happening at some point in their own lives.

"The little robot-flow-er, I mean, Greeter and Entertainer 'bot seemed adamant, so Piporh said, 'But, I haven't gotten my money changed over to the right currency!' And then promptly waved the flag a little bit." Tallest Red's narration began again, and the other Tallest had trouble coming up with a response to this. Finally, he pulled back the robot-flower-box puppet as if it was surprised about all of that.

"'Well! How've you ever made your way 'round abouts without the right currency!?' Asked the official Greeter and Entertainer 'bot." Tallest Purple's reply was simply about no nonsense...that didn't stop him from wiggling the puppet, though~!

"'Well', said the long, little wiggly-thing named Piporh, 'I got some rock-momma-monster-cave crystals in the caves a ways back, and I've used them along with some change I got in the city of Irony-iron...how much Monies is this rock-momma-monster-cave crystal worth?' He asked, and pulled out the sad little rest of his savings." Tallest Red continued with the saddest moment yet. That Tallest Purple's puppet invariably shook his head at. Then came the Tallest's reply.

"'Oh, mik...! Then you'll have to come over here!' He said to the poor, deluded Piporh who had no idea how to manage his rock-momma-monster-cave crystals-savings!" The scene was changed, moving the pieces of wood and stuff used for the buildings to make it look like the characters were passing by. Then Purple pulled out a little pointer-twig, and pointed it from his robot-flower-box puppet towards the direction of one smaller box, as if his puppet's invisible hand was holding said pointer. "'You'll wanna' make any exchange of funds with this little, uh, money-exchanga-box! That way, you'll be able to have it on hand to- WAIT A MINUTE!'" He yelled because Piporh was wiggling towards it. "'That's only if you can use it up before you hit the recher-lands! After that, your money has to change over again!'"

"Piporh just looked at him and said, 'Yeah, I already knew that...'" Tallest Red's narration continued again, "And the little official Greeter-Entertainer Bot just stared at him." Tallest Red didn't know quite what to do after that, so he just waited for Tallest Purple to finish up...whatever it is that he was constructing... Waited...and then he scratched his butt...

"'Well, after the way you just got gypped, I'm kind-of surprised. I thought that you were just an idiotic kid, running off on some random, stranger-induced journey of some kind!' Stated the very OFFICIAL Entertainer and -uh, Greeter and Entertainer 'bot!" Tallest Purple wasn't revealing what he'd been working on, and just wiggled his robot-flower-box puppet a little and went back to hunching over his sneaky little project. Which wouldn't have been much of a secret: if not for the fact that he was turned at an angle and Red had a hard time seeing what he was up to.

"'Oh, yeah! I am! I'm on a quest to get myself a suuuuper-hard shell that can withstand any of those falling-fire-things' attacks!' Exclaimed Piporh, and he wiggled himself as if that explained the whole story. And stuff...!" Tallest Red was having a hard time keeping this up, especially when he wanted to see what the other stage-hand was working with...!

"'Oh, wow...I can't believe you've even made it this far...!' Said the official robot Entertainer and Greeter." Tallest Purple was still too busy with whatever it was he was doing, and his fellow puppeteer huffed at his lag in performance. "He let Piporh get back to his wor- er, uh... what w-oh-oh-oh yeah! To exchanging his rock-momma-cave crystals! Yeah!" Purple was even losing his interest in the scene they were playing!

"That was when the building imploded. They apparently had run afoul of a horrible band of, uh...!" Tallest Red turned to Purple and whispered, "Hey! Help me out, here!" and, "Come on!" before turning back to think up something. "Terror-ir, Terror-terriers! Yeah, that's it!..." He gave a wide-eyed stare over at Purple before stabbing him with his sharp elbow.

This caused Tallest Purple to stop whatever it was he was doing, taking in a shaky gasp as he fumbled in surprise! "Uh! Woah! Uh,...uhm...!" He paused a minute to grab the thing that he was working with and hold it up in a convoluted, confused lump in front of the screen, which only cast a blobby shadow with faint things sticking out of it. "Th-then they were confronted with this -this HORRIBLE blob-uh, monster-holomb...!" He looked at it, confused, and wondered what to do. "'Hiya! I'm the horrible, confuesuhioned-thing of blu- Blob Globula! How are you folks doin' tonight?! Well, today, I'm gonna' terrorize all of ya'! 'Cause that's what they're payin' me to do! H-HHUOOHUURRRRGGGHHHH!'" Even Purple didn't know that was going to come out of his mouth in that manner, and he looked at the screen and the puppet in shock.

"I know, I know, you didn't have time to finish it!" Tallest Red almost forgot to whisper as he grumbled this. "We'll just have to make the most of the-uuhh, eeewww! Gross! Just what is that stuff?!" Tallest Purple was messing with the rest of the attachment to his blobular, horrible monster-puppet, and it had just gotten some sort of sticky mess -like glue- all over his hands...! This, of course, just meant that he had to go and rub it on Red's robe.

"Oh, don't be such a vaough-phfouhsh!" Whispered Tallest Purple right back at him. "It's just this sort-of almost, eh, sappy-ish-stuff, that I was using for glue!" Then he promptly got the blobular puppet-monster stuck to Red's clothes, where he'd previously spread the glue.

"Ouhp! Well, now that's stuck...!" Tallest Purple's understatement was accentuated by the fact that someone in the audience coughed to announce that they were growing bored with the lack of shadow-puppetey-movement, and wished for the puppetey-show to continue...well, at the very least, they were still interested!

"'Wuuhhh! What do we do!?' Exclaimed Piporh as he- he, uh-!" Tallest Red was wiggling as Purple tried to get the stuck blobbiness of the puppet off of him. "He looked to the -uh, what was he...?- the entertainer-bot-"

"Official Entertainer and Greeter 'bot!" Purple interjected. "...Well, it's stuck. I mean for good...!" His whisper wasn't much of a whisper, and a few giggles came from the audience while they heard him groan.

"Right! The Official Entertainer and Greeter 'bot, who was...uhh...just calling in the Emergency-even-though-we're-on-vacation-'bot Squad!" Tallest Red continued, and wanted to wiggle free of Tallest Purple and his glue. Tallest Purple whispered to him.

"The 'Emergency-even-though-we're-on-vacation-'bot Squad'?! Seriously?!_ That's_ all you could come up with!?" He wiggled his pieces-of-wood-puppets around and scoffed at Red.

"So?! YOU came up with this stupid GLUE!" Whispered Tallest Red angrily, and Purple decided to forget about the mess and get back to the show.

"It's NOT stupid! ...It's GLUE-EY!" He whispered harshly, before picking up the wood-pieces and using them for new puppets. "Then, the rag-a-tag team of the Terror-terriers who'd hired that horrible blob-puppet, came walking up! The blob had gone off to terrorize some other part of the town. They came up with a random squiggle and a random look in their eyes, and then they, uh... They puffed smoke in the faces of the Official Entertainer and Greeter 'bot and Piporh! Because that's their defense-offence-mechanism...!" Then he hoped his fellow narrator had an idea of how to get out of this mess he'd walked himself into. 'Cause he was controlling about five puppets at once! "They then said some stuff like, uh...! 'Who turned out the lights?!' and, 'What the HECK was THAT!?' And THEN some~!" The five wooden puppets were bouncing around like random little bouncing rebels...which is good, 'cause that's what they were supposed to look like~!

"The Team of the Terror-terriers who'd hired that horrible blob-puppet, were annoying and also were pathetic. So, instead of exchanging his Monies-er, I mean, his rock-momma-crystals- there, Piporh and the Official Entertainer and Greeter 'bot, left! And went somewhere else! It's a good thing it was a pretty good-sized town!... In fact, it was good enough-sized, that they didn't even have to run into those guys ever again! Then, Piporh exchanged his money, and waited for the public-transportation-line to come rushing up! 'Gee, these things are always so confusing, aren't they...?!' He said to himself. 'Now, am I one the right waiting-platform for the Peddling-line?!' But, he didn't have long to think, so he got on the public-transportation-thing, and left that, uh, whatever that city -er, town's- name was, and went to the next stop!'" Tallest Red just came up with the very best way of ending it, and Purple moved the town's scenery around Piporh as he "walked".

"But, it was a really boring trip, and Piporh randomly fell asleep! Then, he woke up and got off at the wrong stop!" Tallest Purple was back in action with a pathetic and pithy reason for only placing one piece of wood as a "platform" underneath Piporh. His randomly-wrong stop was in the middle of nowhere!

"The only problem with that, was that he was now back on the road, and since he didn't have any other currency to use for the next public-transportation-thing, he was now hoofing it!" Then, after thinking, Tallest Red added, "Thankfully, a random, flying hoof was ready and willing to take him to the next place!"

Tallest Purple put a block of wood in front of the screen, and Red made it look like Piporh was riding on it. They flew it around for a bit, making little whooshing noises, before finally settling it down and hoping that it wasn't too lame a plot-device! "Then Piporh took up with these, uh...wandering performers...! And he made some money doing a little dance!"

The "performers" were pieces of long, string-looking grasses which were attached at the root still, and had little bobs in the middle of them for some strange, biologically-perfectly-reasonable reason. Nobody cared about what or why those string-looking grasses had bobs on them. Well, Dib did ask about them earlier, but then again, Dib asks about everything. "They sang this song!: 'Diddily-doop-deep! Diddily-doop-deep! Diddily-diddily-dum-dum-dumd!'" Tallest Purple intonated, and the other Tallest just rolled his eyes at him. It was a slightly-different version of his old, made-up song from when they were kids -and it was still just that annoying!

"Then, they all had to, uh...! Go back home and take care of their wives and families! Yeah!" Red insisted on ending this annoying song-intonating, and made up a random and perplexing excuse -after all, wouldn't that mean that they were all male performers?... While they were all going through the confusion of questioning these things, Purple was all over the next plot-point!

"Then, after his fellow performers had gone back to their wives and families, Piporh was left all alone... So, instead of going to the places where he could use his new-found currency, he went some place else!" Piporh was wiggled by Tallest Red to the edge of the screen, as Purple narrated and moved the next props around.

"The way to the next place was fraught with danger, and Piporh almost couldn't make it," Tallest Red explained, whilest Purple put some stones on the puppet-ey-theater's edge. Some of them sentient and some of them not-so-sentient. And some of them even dead! Although, a lot of them were really just stones...not alive-sentient, alive-insentient, or dead. Piporh was wiggled around, as if he was about to die or something. The stones just looked alive, and tried not to wonder why they'd been put into the puppet-show. This was at the very least, something much more interesting than ingesting mud and stuff, and annoying the worms that went by them! "But, in the end...Piporh was suddenly whisked away by flying, uh... puddle-ey birds or something!"

Tallest Purple just stared at him, as if he wondered why he'd expected him to come up with puddle-like birds! Even if they were shadow-puppets, that was just strange and hard to make! So, he did something else! "The puddle-like birds were only puddle-like birds in name -'cause something like giant, flying puddles just can't be done! Well, not by this puppeteer, at any rate...! They came swooping down, and put Piporh on their backs to fly awaaay! All the while, asking him, 'Where are you going?'!" Purple took a twig with two large leaves attached to it and flew it down towards Piporh.

Tallest Red just gave him a look before letting Piporh get "swept awaaaay" by those things. "'I'm not really going anywhere! I'm just looking for some materials to help me build myself a hard, fire-ball-proof shell!' Exclaimed Piporh as he screamed while they whisked him away." The two puppeteers pulled the bird and the long, wiggly-thing to the side before changing the screen once more.

"'That's not gonna' help!' Said the large, flying birds, 'cause they'd been flying around all kinds of places, and they knew what kind of people Piporh's people were. They were smart like that!" Tallest Purple continued it as the scene was changed to a cluttered-looking one, with two large puppets making rocks-cliffs, along with some of the stones they'd used previously. They set the two down on top of one of the rocks and made it look like Piporh was climbing off. "'Well, if you'll just stay here, there'll be enough protection from those falling fires!' The smart bird-guy said, before flying off again." The twig-with-two-leaves-puppet was flapped away into the sky once again, leaving the wiggly-puppet-stick all alone within the rocky, stony-place. "Piporh was left all alone, and he was getting hungry and cold! 'Cause, uh...it was getting to be the...end of another day! The night was returning! Then he, uh, went into a hole and hid until he went to sleep." Yet another curtained black-out, and this one was not ending in a flubbed-up prop-problem...they'd worked all that out earlier.

"That doesn't mean we get a long intermission: unless, of course, you just really have to go to the restroom or something," Tallest Red added, looking around at the audience from the cracks in the curtains around their puppet-ey-stage screen.

The others shifted about a bit, and wondered if this was an invitation to get up. Lard-nar finally raised his hand and said, "Does this mean that we can get a break?" He was, unfortunately, unfavored by the puppeteers, who glared at him.

"NO!" They both exclaimed, and then they went back to their puppet-ey-show.

"Good goin', big-mouth!" Mumbled Ploopoh to the unfavored-one, as he was now, unfortunately, not allowed to visit the bushes unless he wanted to miss something...! That, and, they'd just upset the Almighty Tallest, and that might cause more pain for them. Nobody wanted the Almighty Tallest causing them pain!

"Then, Piporh was awakened in the middle of the night with some singing and dancin'!" Said Tallest Purple, completely making up for whatever annoyances there were about the long lack of intermission. "They were all so happy, that they sang and danced until morning came; then the random little fire-eys disappeared! Too bad, though, 'cause they sure were fun!"

"They were also completely in the dark, and so it was hard to tell exactly what was happening until the sun came up. No one wanted to clean up after the party, so they all just left, leaving Piporh to pick up after them!" Tallest Red explained why they hadn't opened the curtains up yet. Then he waited until Purple had switched the props and hushed the little sentient rocks who were asking what was up. The curtains were opened once again, and this time, it was with more plants stuck for the back-drop.

"The mess left behind by the little fire-eys was so annoying, that Piporh had no choice but to pick up the larger pieces, and to hope that the other people wouldn't mind if he skipped out on the finer-detailed cleaning!" Tallest Purple explained, the pieces of plants arranged so that they looked like random streamers and confetti and other such stuff. They blacked the scene once more to change, and the next scene had one puppet placed to the side like a rock-cliff, whilest Piporh was seen wiggling away. "Piporh hated leaving in such a hurry, but he was scared of being stuck cleaning." People nodded understandingly as they watched him make his not-clean getaway.

Moving the rock-cliff puppet aside as Piporh wiggled, Tallest Red narrated, "The road was long, and it was weird that there was absolutely NOTHING! For miles! Then, the explosions-" Purple nudged him and shook his head. "Oh-oh! Uh, nevermind, there were no explosions, that was all just in his head...uhh-uh! He was day-dreaming and the heat was getting to him!" Tallest Purple put his head in his hand and stifled a giggle. Then he pulled up some more puppets, these some red-leaved plants with pale-ish purple flowers and pink calyxes. He put up more to use as the buildings, along with some rocks and pieces of wood, the most complicated back-drop they'd arranged so far. He used some of the smaller ones as people. "'Huh...! What are those strange-looking buildings, blocks, and people?' Asked Piporh as the stuff came into view."

"'We're "An Annoying Pleop-lopos", and this is our town!' Said the An Annoying Pleop-lopos that Piporh had just insulted!" Tallest Purple added, just to be sure that Red knew how irritating that last comment of his was. Like, as if he couldn't tell that he was making a city with flowered-ey buildings and people! "'And, yeah, we know, it's odd that we're named "An Annoying Pleop-lopos", but just go with it, alright?'"

"'Oh, I'm Piporh! And I'm not at all like a hollow-tube-with-holes-player in a band!'" Tallest Red looked at the other Tallest, annoyed, but okay with ad-libbing that last part. If there was one thing he knew, it was that his Almighty partner was always like this when he got too playful...unfortunately, since they were playing with puppets, he'd somehow become even more childish than he normally acted. And it was up to Red and Piporh to put the story to rest! "The other flowered-ey beings just looked at him, perplexed by this odd assumption. They thought he looked too much like a pipe."

"But, enough of that, now!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple, whose focus had suddenly changed. Instead, "The An Annoying Pleop-lopos just looked and asked him, 'Wait, you mean you AREN'T one of those pipey-peoples?'"

Which just served to make Tallest Red almost burst out into laughter. Covering his mouth with his hand, he almost couldn't make it to say his next line without giggles. "Then the An Annoying Pleop-lopos did a little dance!" Which Tallest Purple had to try to achieve, wiggling three flowered-ey puppets, all the while trying not to giggle. That didn't work, and the giggling, dancing flowered-eye puppets elicited quite a cheer from the audience. For some strange reason...!

"After that, Piporh joined in, and they all did a little jig on their way into the city of the, uh... An Annoying Guys!" Said Tallest Purple, and Tallest Red looked at him like, "That was the best name that you could come up with?!" To which Tallest Purple just said, "The An Annoying Guys city was amazing and breathtaking, and also very pretty! In fact, it was so pretty, that, uh...! That everyone paused a bit to admire the view!" He paused with jiggling the puppets and then said, "Also, it was a pretty color red!"

"'Wow, that's a pretty-colored red city!' Said Piporh, as they stopped to admire it. Then he realized that he was hungry! VERY hungry. In fact... 'Why, I'm so hungry, I could eat everyone else!' The An Annoying Pleop-lopos backed off from him and then ran. He might actually be that hungry!" Tallest Red's addition made that horrible spark which set off dozens of sparklers and ignited entire things on fire. Thankfully, Purple wasn't around any of those.

"Then he did! He ate everyone in the city, got horribly-depressed because he realized that there was no one else around to dance with, and then night-time fell and he went into a deeep sleep once again!" Tallest Purple said. Tallest Red gave him a confused look, but he just started removing the pieces of the city after blacking out the scene. "Then, uh...when he woke up, he was in for a big surprise!" Tallest Purple put up his Wannol, the Wandering Minstrel Puppet that had previously been used for the Puppetey-beast of Wan-da Rind-strels.

Tallest Red just had no idea what he had in mind, so he waited and gave a few surprised comments, "'Oh, wow! This is amazing! I can see my house from up here! And there's my caretakers! Hiya, caretakers!'" Purple had pushed his Piporh puppet off to the side, so he was wondering what in the heck he could've been up to. He didn't have to wait that long.

"In the morning," Said Purple as he opened up the curtains on this new scene showing only the large form that looked like the Puppetey-beast of Wan-da Rind-strels, "Piporh came to find out that he was in the exact same form as the Puppetey-beast of Wan-da Rind-strels!" Purple's final reveal was incredibly relieving, as Tallest Red had something he could add to that on the spur of the moment. Purple was going to regret doing this!... Though, that wasn't the point...

"'Well, this is inconvenient! I mean, I can't even move anymore! Plus, I'm still stuck in that town,' said Piporh, 'But, at the very least, I know I'll be safe from those big balls of fire! Hey, lookit that! The people from out of town are trying to attack~! How funny! Hee hee hee! Fire doesn't hurt!'" Tallest Red put the puppets around Piporh's new humongous form and made it look like they were trying to attack him. "'Whelp, at least now I know why that Puppetey-beast of Wan-da Rind-strels said just to take my time!' And he sat there for the rest of his known life-expectancy, until he rotted from the inside-out and was nothing but a husk that the peoples made into a new residential-building!"

Tallest Purple laughed openly at this, and they both shouted, "THE END!"

The curtains closed, and the audience clapped, still quite unsure as to that whole ending there...but, it was entertaining!

Afterwards, everyone got up and stretched, the audience chatting amongst themselves. Tallest Red and Purple, on the other hand, were trying to get that sticky sap off of Red's robe, and Sploods hoped that no one remembered that he was supposed to go up to look at the stars once they came out. That didn't last long.

"Hey, Sploods! It looks like the clouds are opening up!" Said Ploopoh.

"D'OH!"

* * *

END CHAPTER 5

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AUTHOR'S NOTES: Did you like that completely plot-irrelevant chapter, huh? Huh?! Huh!?

Ahh...I have absolutely nothing to write here! But, don't worry! There's more interesting stuff to come later on! I just like to think of the kinds of things that they'd be doing, when they're all alone on that alien planet...I need to do more with the other characters, huh?

Have no fear, for I shalst return with even more annoying and embarrassing alien biology and shocking native displays filled with terrifying explosions, amongst other such stuff~! That, and, I still haven't fully embarrassed ALL of the males, and Dib needs to find out what's horribly-bothering Tak!

There's nothing really to be said anymore, except that...MORE ALIENS! I loves them.


	6. Itchy and Uncomfortable, Break it in!

DISCLAIMER: I don't own this thing, just like I don't own the name of that town that always makes me think of the title of this chapter...!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Okay...we might be getting back to the plot here, but...honestly, just who could resist that Tallests' puppet-show?!

* * *

**CHAPTER 6: "NEW UNDERWEAR!"**

* * *

Fun bathing scenarios aside, what was going on whilest Dib was passed out after rescuing the Food Group?

And how in the heck did Agent Nessie wind up with his shirt off?! It shall now be revealed...

"Okay, does anybody have any of those...orange-lookin' squidgies?" Asked Starky as he put down a blue rock. The irony of trying to play "Go Fish" with no cards was not lost on anybody...but, at least this game was pretty easy.

"Nope! Go a-evil-eye-jelly-fishin'!" Said Nessie, as he held his not-cards in his shirt, so that no one could see them. Not like it mattered, though. This was really just to pass the time.

"Oh, mik!" Exclaimed Lard-nar as he looked at the non-card items he had left. "I knew I shouldn't have left that jiimp over in that jiimp!" Though that sentence didn't make sense, neither had his non-card-hand.

"I'm not one to ordinarily notice, but, uhm... Do you guys think that big-headed kid is snoring?" Asked Throbulator casually, as he leaned against a rock. He was officially on guard-duty for the camp-site, along with Crystal and Tak, and that never seemed to change.

"I'm not sure...can't we roll him over and find out?" Asked Vrilly kindly.

"He already IS rolled over!" Exclaimed Nessie, annoyed that they were breaking his concentration.

"Well, that's gonna' become obnoxious..." Observed Tak from her place just at the edge of the camp-site.

"Oh, give the big-headed boy a break! He's the one who saved you guys, remember?!" Lasch-mik replied from her place near the chemistry-set (also used for making soap) and the food-tarp (aka Nessie's coat).

"Yeah, well...! He's still just plain annoying!" Tallest Purple agreed with Tak's assessment.

"Hey...why is my toe tied up in this...?" Asked Vrilly. She'd apparently gotten some kind of string wrapped around her left big toes, and she was trying to untie it.

"Here, let me help," offered Vick as she picked at it.

"Why don't we play a game?" Asked Ploopoh helpfully.

"We're already playing one!" Exclaimed Lard-nar.

"No, duh!" Added Nessie.

"AND LOSING!" Starky replied victoriously, as he threw down another item. Apparently, he thought he was winning.

"Then, what about a show?" Asked Shloonktapooxis, hovering.

Tallest Red huffed, "We're not even finished with our sets, AND we've gotta' figure out the proper lighting! Think of something else!"

"Ooh, I know! Let's try hitting the big-headed kid, and seeing what happens!" Tallest Purple exclaimed happily.

"Nyeh...! He'd probably just squeeze his _alien juices_ all over us!" Tallest Red replied, waving a hand in disgust at said sleeping big-head.

This caused Agent Nessie to suddenly spit-laugh as he leaned over his non-card-items. The aliens across from and nearby him moved away, quickly.

After Nessie's laughing-fit had died down -and Ploopoh had hit him across the head to initiate that- they once again fell into excruciating silence.

"Hey, why don't we sing a song?" Suggested Sploods, looking around at everyone. The crickets had already started serenading them with their chirps. Though, how in the heck there were crickets there, they didn't ask or know.

"Well, since the crickets are already singing theirs, why not?" The comment came from Vick as she shifted from one leg to the other where she was sitting.

"Uhm...I hate to tell you guys, but, that's not a cricket's chirp out there...!" Came Ploopoh's strange reply.

"Well, then what is it?!" Asked Vick in annoyance.

"It's the sound of the other soil and bug-monsters relaxing to release extra air out of their cracks before they go to sleep for the night." Ploopoh responded very simply.

And everyone just stared.

"Ooops." Was all Vick said.

"You're darned right you're wrong!" Exclaimed something far off from the distance. "You should quit goin' around, yakkin' about other peoples'..." The voice faded off, which was probably just as well, since it might have been filled with expletives.

"..." The others just stared at Ploopoh, whilest he stared right back at them.

"What?! Don't look at me, it was Clasps who told me about it!" He stated, pointing back to the blob-woman.

"Wait, then how would _she_ know?!" Asked Vick in confusion: thankfully, Vrilly changed the subject.

"Hey, I know, why don't we sing a song or something?!" She exclaimed, happily trying to divert their attention back to the previous subject.

"I like that idea!" Exclaimed Ploopoh.

"But, wait, wasn't that his idea in the first place?!" Asked Vick, once again in confusion.

"WHO CARES!?" Exclaimed Vrilly, Lasch-mik, and several others who may or may not have been in the group.

"Oooh, I know! Let's all sing the Poofers!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple with his hands in the air. Tallest Red just closed his eyes, because he knew the others wouldn't know how to sing it just like they would.

"I really miss the clip-tones that we used to use when cleaning with the magnetic-tarsisus..." commented Tarky to Clasps, as they both watched the goings-on with glazed disinterest over their eyes.

"Mmm...!" Replied Clasps with exuberance. Not! "I'ma wanna' go lie down...but my puddle-up spot is taken," she replied, pointing to where Starky had his butt planted on it.

"Okay..." Tarky took a pointed stick and poked him in his bony butt. The poke caused Starky to jump up into the air, prompting everyone to wonder if he was about to do a song-and-dance number. "Alright, Clasps, he's out of the way!"

"Uhhh! You could've just ASKED him to move...!" She responded, shocked at his sudden sharp-pokeyed-ness.

"Well, I guess you'll just have to see what he does next!" Was Ploopoh's comment. It was actually directed at Lard-nar's comment about something that Nessie had just laid down, but that was exactly what came of it.

"YEOOOWCH! Yeeesh, Clasps! Tarky~! You could've just asked!" Came Starky's exclamation.

"So, what?! _He's_ the one who stole all of my iintuliints in the Iintiilints game!" Responded Tarky, sticking his non-existent tongue out at him. That totally didn't work, but his words got the point across accurately enough.

"Oh, come _on_~! That was just a game!" Exclaimed Starky, somewhat loudly. It was then that the Almighty Tallest decided that he must dance to entertain all of them. Poor, dear Starky didn't know where to begin!

"Ooh, ooh! Hey! I can do it!" Exclaimed Shloonktapooxis, who then began hovering around and weaving a bit. Nobody was that impressed with his aeronautic-display.

"Okay, anybody ELSE have a good dance routine?!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple, whilest Tallest Red scanned the group.

"I could only do the Scientist's Dance..." Lard-nar was saying.

"I can do some kinds, like, the Sprinkler, or the Forbidden Dungeon, or the Dirlin' Whirlin'...!" Nessie was mentioning. No one wanted to see him do the Sprinkler, but just the name of the "Dirlin' Whirlin'" sounded interesting enough to make them want to see him attempt to do it.

"Aww~! Man, I don't wanna' see YOU dance!" Exclaimed Vick annoyedly, yanking out a random piece of fabric and throwing it at him.

"What?!" The stuff hit him square in the face. Nessie puffed and pulled it off, "What in the heck...IS this?!" He exclaimed.

"Just some random accessories..." Vick calmly stated, looking away.

"Well, now you're just going random!" Nessie replied simply.

"Ppsshh! So says the guy who does the 'Forbidden Dungeon'!" Vick replied sassily, eyeing him as if he were a highly-disturbed nerd. Or something.

"Whatever!" Nessie threw it down, never realizing what kind of plan the Almighty Tallest were working out behind their backs...

"THE FIRST ONE TO DO THE MOST AWESOMEST, MOST INTERESTING DANCE, GETS FIRST-ROW-SEAT AT THE PUPPET-SHOW!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple. Everyone blinked, but went back to eyeing the fabric and seeing what kinds of dances everyone else could do. Tallest Red just rolled his eyes, and Purple winced; it was always painful when that happened. Not that they should normally bother with it, it's just that there was so few people here, and -wait a minute, that made it even worse!- so, he just let it slide...for now.

"Then come on and show us!" Exclaimed some of the group, probably mostly the girls. Ploopoh had to stand up and was about to go on record at the first Babblian to run around naked -not that it hadn't ever occurred, they just didn't normally do it- when he suddenly realized...

"Erm...! I'm not wearing a shirt underneath this coat...!" Which then caused everyone to look at Ploopoh's coat in a new and wondering way.

"Why, would you normally wear a shirt?" Asked Agent Nessie simply.

"We-uh, yeah! We don't just go around with our shirts off! You know?!" Exclaimed Ploopoh suddenly.

"Woah! Talk about catching you off-guard! Whoever it is that brought us here didn't even give us time to get into the right clothes!" Laughed Vick: fashion faux-pas were her favorite type of joke.

"Wait, you _have_ to wear your shirt?" Asked Nessie, even as Ploopoh was regaling why he was dressed only in his coat.

"W-well, when I'm all cooped up in my communications-bub, we -well, mainly just me- get a little hot! And, today was the day that I just said, 'Oh, forget it! I'll just wear my coat and no one will notice!' 'Cause that's a part of my uniform!" Then he paused. "Well, aside from my head-phones. Why do you ask?" He had just responded to Nessie's comment, but only a few saw the supposed correlation. _(A/N: "Communications-bub" is the little rounded room he works in.)_

"Whuh?" Agent Nessie was not one of them.

"He means, is there any important reason for why you have to always wear a shirt or something, or is it just a cultural clothes-thing?" Vick replied for him, since Nessie was still confused.

"Oh! Uh, yeah! It's, uh...just the usual...you know...embarrassing reproductive stuff...you know...!" Ploopoh would've blushed, if it weren't for the fact that they really didn't know that at all.

"Oh!" Said Nessie, no longer confused now.

"Oh! Sorry, we're just ignorant is all..." Vick apologized graciously, avoiding any more long-term annoyances...for all of about two minutes.

"All of us have something we're embarrassed about!" Exclaimed Vrilly, hoping to steer the conversation away from the awkward.

"Yeah! Uh, heh heh...!" Lard-nar agreed, but he didn't want to continue.

"So, to pass the embarrassment-rippildt, what about the rest everyone?" Exclaimed Lasch-mik, interrupting everyone's relative happiness of awkward silence to make a sudden rapport with humility. _(A/N: "Embarrassment-rippildt" is just like saying "embarrassment-baton", but apparently she didn't care enough to translate it.)_

"What?!" Exclaimed Clasps, startling everybody.

"Hey, what's the big problem?" Asked Vick much more calmly.

"Huh?! Oh, nothing! I just suddenly woke up, is all! What are we talking about?" Clasps responded, making everyone almost moan audibly.

"Well, I just asked if everyone else wouldn't mind explaining some of their clothing-necessities -like, why they need to clothe themselves and certain parts of their bodies, whether it's superficial or physical- and whether or not they mind getting naked!" Replied Lasch-mik.

"Okay, I was with you all up until that last part," replied Tarky, who didn't have an ounce of clothes on him. Irony was best avoided, as he still didn't want to see any of these aliens naked -or even semi-naked! Not that that would help him...nope, not at all!

The Tallest were also giving her awful looks, along with most of the rest of the group.

"*Sigh* _Why_...?!" Lard-nar said as he put his head in his hands, shaking it.

"Why don't we change the subject...?" Asked Tallest Red, hoping that this didn't end with everyone nude.

"Oh, like YOU weren't interested in that, either!" Exclaimed Lasch-mik, pointing at the Tallest and then at her own son.

"Mother, _why_ can't you save these things for less...IRRITATING...times?!" Asked Lard-nar as he gripped the non-existent stress-relief ball and hoped it was working. It didn't work, because it was nonexistent. As was his mother's worry about indecency.

"WE don't get some kind of insane KICK out of seeing aliens' naked bodies!" Exclaimed Tallest Red. Everyone stopped and stared at Lasch-mik in a very strange way.

"WELL! I'm a MEDICAL expert, I just like seeing things for MYSELF instead of always relying on scanners!" Lasch-mik responded, waving her hands around. Tak suddenly spoke up, after what had seemed like hours.

"That's not a good enough excuse," she stated bluntly.

"Oh, alright, fine! I was just TRYIN' to have a little bit of fun with 'em! No need to get all zappy!" Lasch-mik leaned back where she was sitting and sighed. The others just looked at her, wondering. "I mean, it's not as if there's anything ELSE goin' on around here!..."

"...Well, now that THAT nerve-wracking conversation is over, now-" Just as Ploopoh was about to change the course of conversation, Sploods suddenly spoke up.

"Hey, Nessie, you, uh...got someone er, uh...something, on your back...!" He pointed to Nessie's shirt.

"..." It was just three seconds before Nessie jumped to his feet, performed feats of dexterity he'd never done before whilest he was dancing, and once it was confirmed that the thing was "crustacean-like" and "on his shirt", he tore it off.

"Wow...!" Was all Lard-nar could say that was intelligible and related to this certain event.

"That's, uh...are you alright...? And, perhaps...could you put your shirt back on?" Asked Ploopoh, nervously wondering whether or not he should be staring.

"Well, that was certainly more entertaining that what I had thought of!" Came Lasch-mik's voice.

The Almighty Tallest glared at Sploods, who just held up his hands defensively, saying, "Well, I didn't expect him to tear his SHIRT OFF like that!"

"He's telling the truth," Tak added, since the Tallest looked about to kill him for inducing half-nakedness.

"Ploopoh, why isn't that shirt of his staying in one place...?" Asked Lard-nar as he stared at Nessie's cast-off piece of clothing.

"Dunno... But I'm not touchin' it, with ANYTHING!" Ploopoh stated as he backed away.

"Pphhh! You're just scared of it because you guys have deadly arachnid-shaped things on your planet!" Replied Lard-nar in response to his seeming cowardice.

"Really?! Wow, what a coincidence!" Replied Vick, grinning widely.

"WHAT?!" Exclaimed Lard-nar.

"You guys have arachnid-thingies on your planet?!" Exclaimed Starky, leaning towards her.

"Yeah! Ppshhh! They're like, all over!" Vick replied, waving her arms around.

"To put the record straight," Ploopoh was now speaking more loudly, "I'm not scared of it because of the deadly arachnid-shaped things on my planet!"

The other conversation continued.

"But, wait! How come your species is the dominant one, then?" Asked Vrilly, easily-interested in this sort of thing, just as much as she was in ancient history.

"Huh... Well, I don't know! We just...happen to be bigger? No, no, wait...! I don't know! Why wouldn't we be? I mean, what even constitutes the reason for being?!" Vick was now suddenly immersed in the philosophical complications which came with answering those kinds of questions.

"That's not a good explanation at all!" Agreed Sploods. "Well, aside from the largeness...you're a bit bigger..."

"Pssh! It's not the large things you've gotta' watch out for. You know, some of the most deadly things on our planet are some of the smallest! Like the Brown Recluse spider!" Vick was still waxing poetic about the various species of deadly wildlife.

"Are you sure you don't need a shirt on?" Asked Lasch-mik, eyeing Agent Nessie's exposed, hairy chest.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure! Only women need shirts; well, where we come from..." Nessie was still warily eyeing the wiggling shirt of his, as were the others who were close by and watching it wiggle. They weren't necessarily watching it because it was fun!

"Yeah, and they're so small, that it's hard to find 'em!" Vick was continuing.

"Wow! That sounds like it'd be a problem...!" Vrilly responded.

"Why do only women need their shirts?" Asked Starky, whose curiosity had finally been piqued. He'd drawn his attention momentarily away from the wriggling clothing.

"Oh! It's, uh...because of their mammary-glands." Nessie replied simply.

"Why is that?" Starky looked over at Ploopoh and saw that he was scooting away from that black, wriggling thing.

"Wait, aren't those things on your chest mammary-glands, too?" Asked Lasch-mik in confusion.

"Yes, but they're mainly vestigial." Replied Nessie, still wondering what was wrong with the thing in his shirt.

"'Cause everything on this planet seems to be out to kill us!" Ploopoh's last comment, as he tripped and fell, trying to get away from that wriggling shirt-thing, was to finish the one that he'd started. But it just made everyone snicker because of its horrible timing...!

"Okayy, before this gets any more horrifying, why don't you guys just-" Tallest Purple was interrupted when someone threw an in-sentient rock at the moving shirt and shrieked at it. Then they all giggled. "Why don't you guys just-" Then Tallest Red threw the largest sentient rock that he could lift at Ploopoh so that he could kill it. That fell short. "THROW IT INTO THE FIRE!" Tallest Purple's shout wasn't paid any mind, and Ploopoh went over to see if he could lift that sentient rock in order to throw it. It was just then that the wriggling thing popped out of Nessie's shirt and shook its head-like-thing.

"Phew! It stinks like a mammalian-mang-monkey's armpit -*hack!*- in there!" Then "he", the weird little crustacean-like thingy, somewhat resembling a crab and a lobster, wandered off.

_(A/N: And I dunno what a "mammalian-mang-monkey" is, so stop asking!)_

"That wasn't what I'd thought would happen," stated Tallest Purple somewhat happily about the whole thing. Though why he would have been happy about that turn of events, no one could ever reason!

A few minutes passed, as everyone settled back down again, and Nessie decided that he really didn't want his shirt back if it smelt that bad. They realized that it was now about that time again, when everyone asked the fated question.

"So, what else should we do?" Stated Vrilly, looking around.

There was a minute of odd silence and a few murmurs, but suddenly, Agent Nessie spoke up. Looking at Lasch-mik, he said, "That reminds me...why don't we play 'Truth or Dare'?" The look around him from the other aliens showed that they really didn't know what in the heck he was talking about.

"What?! But, that's not even fun!" Vick said, rolling her eyes. "I mean, it's _booo-rring_!"

"Then why don't we play, 'Truth, Dare, Double-dare, Promise to Repeat'?" Added Nessie.

"What are you guys talking about?" Asked Vrilly, raising her hand, just because that had been established for some reason.

"What's 'Promise to Repeat'?" Asked Vick, incredulously.

"Oh, it's where you have to repeat a word or phrase or something, and, well, you can get people to say pretty-much anything you want! *Snickers* Hee hee hee! It's pretty fun~!" Explained Agent Nessie with a giggle. "That's what my friends and I used to play!"

"But, then, wait, what about the rest of the rules?" Asked Ploopoh, holding up a finger.

"Well, everyone sits in a circle, and you point to someone and say, 'Truth or Dare!' and they have to choose one. If they pick Truth, then they have to tell the truth about anything you ask! And if they pick Dare, then they have to do something on a dare!" Vick explained.

"But if they chicken out of it, then they have to eat something really, _really_ nasty!" Added Agent Nessie as he pointed.

"But! YOU CAN'T CHICKEN OUT OF A DOUBLE-DARE!" Vick added, also pointing.

"Then, the person who was chosen gets to pick someone else, and it keeps going around the group, until you all get bored and want to do something else!" Summed up Agent Nesse. Still pointing, but then he stopped and put his hands down. "Well?! Who wants to play?" Hands were back up again, this time as he was looking around for confirmation to his question.

"That's the most horrible-sounding game that I've ever heard of!" Exclaimed Lard-nar, agog with shock.

"Yeah, LET'S PLAY IT!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple, shouting with his arms up.

"Whoo-HOOOS!" Exclaimed Shloonktapooxis.

"*Sigh* Great, out of all the group-games...!" Tak moaned a bit, but kept all other comments to herself.

Lasch-mik was already enjoying the idea of asking them all kinds of questions...that is, if they chose Truth...! She had to make sure that they did it, but then again...how could she manage that?

'Don't pick Truth,' Tak warned her leaders and Sploods mentally, 'That Lasch-mik kirken is trying to get information about that certain covenant out of us.' She normally wouldn't impose on her own leaders' minds like this, but this was a matter of intergalactic security -and her own personal humiliation- that made it necessary. The warning caught her leaders in the middle of wondering whether or not they could answer truthfully without lying, while still withholding information -and Sploods was wondering if he could get away with lying. They didn't necessarily need her warning, but they respected the concern.

_(A/N: "Kirken" is the Vortian word for a female Vortian. The word for a male is "Korkirken".)_

"Well, where shall we start?" Asked Vrilly. Despite having some knowledge of the Earth and its stories, she didn't know too much about its slumber-party customs.

The Irkens acted as if they hadn't heard anything about Tak's warning, and Tallest Purple said, "Then, let's get into a circle, first!" Ploopoh moved around a bit, as did Shloonktapooxis. Not that this mattered, since the rest of them weren't forming a circle.

Tallest Red then said, "Well?! You heard what he said, circle-up! NOW!" Then the group seemed to jump into life and formed a circle with the Tallest and Sploods at one end, basically just everyone else moving so that they didn't have to.

Once they were circled-up, Nessie said, "Okay, who goes first?"

"Well..." Tallest Red pointed to people, as if he was playing, "Eeney, Meenie, Miney, Mo," before finally pointing to Purple and saying, "You go first!"

"Whoo-hoo! Alright!" Tallest Purple rubbed his fingers and gauntlets together and snickered with an evil snick, "Whom should I chose...?!"

The others looked nervous as he looked over the large group, sans the unconscious Dib, and then suddenly he pointed at Nessie. "YOU! Just why are you so UGLY without your shirt!?" Vick promptly snickered about this, and Nessie dead-panned at it.

"Well, uh...probably because I'm an alien, and, uh..." Nessie began, but then he realized, "HEY! You didn't ask me what I wanted to chose!" He shouted, pointing back at him.

"Awww~!" Moaned the Almighty Tallest.

"He's right, furb, you really didn't. It's in the rules! Yeah, I know...we're the Tallest, but just follow the rules!" Tallest Red quietly mentioned as he put a hand on the Tallest Purple's shoulder.

_(A/N: "Furb" is kind-of like saying, "dude". Almost.)_

"Okay, fine...!" Tallest Purple mumbled and grumbled, before hoping that Tallest Red would take his hand off his shoulder. He did. "Then, ugly Agent Nessie, which do you want?" After waiting a minute expectantly for him to say it, Purple finally sighed and said, "Truth, Dare, Double-dare, Promise to Repeat!?"

"Then, uhm..." after thinking a minute about whether or not he wanted to be dared by the already-annoyed alien leaders of a conquering empire, Agent Nessie said, "Alright! Uhm... I guess Truth! But you can't ask me the same question!"

"There! Y'see?! He was JUST going to pick Truth ANYWAYS, so then, WHAT'S THE POINT!?" Exclaimed Tallest Purple, looking at the Tallest Red. The other Tallest just shook his head as he waited for him to continue on. "Anyways, uhm...! Okay, okay! I got one!" As they waited for him to ask a question, he cleared his throat. "Agent Nessie! ...Why don't you put your shirt ON again?!" His question was more like about his own annoyance about it, rather than anything else.

"...Well, since you're SO CONCERNED, I guess it's because...I'm not too sure that I want to put it back on again, after that weird little alien thing was on it! I mean, REALLY! What if it released toxic gasses or poison?! ...And besides, I'm much more comfortable without it." Nessie paused for a minute to see if he understood him. "NOW are you happy?!"

"NUH-UH! NOT UNTIL YOU PUT YOUR FILTHY SHIRT BACK ON! I mean, like, REALLY! ULGH!" Tallest Purple Exclaimed, pointing at him.

"Look, I'm not saying this again! I'm not putting it back ON again until I can CLEAN IT!" Nessie said, pouting and crossing his arms. Tallest Purple looked grossed-out and turned away.

"Eeew! You're _moving_! Quit it, will you?!" He exclaimed. Tallest Red seemed to be containing his disgust much better than he had, but he too looked just a little bit annoyed about it.

As Vick laughed, she finally found some time to say, "Okay, that's enough! Don't keep making us look at it!" Before bursting out laughing once again.

"Look, it's NOT like I'm over-weight!" Agent Nessie was trying to say, before Lasch-mik spoke up.

"Hey, Agent Nessie, it's YOUR TURN! Yeeesh, it's never going to get around to the rest of us!" She exclaimed, gesturing. Then she sighed and turned to glare at the Irkens accusingly.

"Uh...what?!" Asked Tallest Purple quietly. He was wondering why she seeming to think that it was all his fault. And Tak sent a mental warning-sensation that she'd better not push it. Lasch-mik just looked at her, but seemed to back off.

"Then, I pick, uhhh...!" Nessie decided to avoid any and all the annoyed aliens, and pointed at Ploopoh. "You! Ploopoh! Truth, Dare, Double-dare, Promise to Repeat!" The pointed-at stared for a minute before finally acknowledging he was picked, and sat up a little bit higher.

"Uhm...!" Ploopoh thought for what seemed like an eternity before answering, "Dare!" The interested silence while Nessie thought up something was broken when he added, "But, if I do happen to chicken out of it, please don't make me eat anything _poisonous_ and disgusting!..."

"Nyeh?!" Asked Nessie as he was wondering why he couldn't just ask him to expose himself as well. "Oh, of course not!... You still have to be able to play the game!"

"Uhhh...!" Ploopoh responded succinctly, dropping his head just a little bit. "Then, uh...what do you want me to do...?"

"Huh...I got it! You didn't want to take your coat off? Then, I dare you to...take off as much as you can, without exposing yourself!" Nessie said as he pointed.

"Uhh...yuwaht?!" Asked Ploopoh, looking at him like he was stranger than the rest of them. "Oh, come on! Why me?!"

"Because...! I said so! ...Uhhh...there's nothing against that in the rules!" Agent Nessie explained.

"I, uh-I think I'll opt out-" Ploopoh started to say, before the others started booing him.

"Boo! You're a wimp!" Shouted Vick.

"Wimp! Weeenie! Wiiiimp!" Chanted Vrilly.

"Take it off!" Yelled Lasch-mik.

"Why'd you PICK it if you weren't gonna' DO ANYTHING!" Lard-nar pouted.

"Even if you look soypie, you should at least TRY and do it!" Exclaimed Starky. _(A/N: "Soypie" means "to look like a wet and soggy piece of cloth or something".)_

"I don't wanna' see it, but if you don't do it, I'll hate your guts!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple. Tallest Red looked at him funny, then poked him with his elbow before adding his bit.

"You've got nothing to worry about, nobody cares what color shorpa you have on!"

"Eh? What's a 'shorpa'?!" Vick exclaimed back.

"It's a type of underwear!" Exclaimed both Tallest Red and Vrilly, along with some others.

Nessie, who'd still been booing Ploopoh, asked, "What're you guys talking about?!"

"NEW UNDERWEAR!" Came the response, loud and clear, from Ploopoh no less!

Everyone just blinked and stared at him.

"I'm not completely without my sense of humor, -OR bravado!- so, I'm going to do it!" As Ploopoh pulled one arm into his coat, everyone looked around and shifted uncomfortably. "Voila!" After waiting a couple of seconds, everyone realized that...that was it. All he'd done was to pull his right arm out of his coat.

"Huh?! But, that's not even-!" Nessie started.

"Ooohhh, come on!" Exclaimed Vick.

"Wait, you only got one arm out of your coat!" Exclaimed Lasch-mik. The Tallest decided there should be a long-standing rule about not telling people to get naked while they're playing this game. They didn't know that it was going to be a running theme this evening.

"Phew! That was close!" Was all Tarky had to say about it.

"'That was close'?! We can't even see his shorpa! That's just _normal_!" Exclaimed Lard-nar -though, in all honesty, he was glad that his mother's teasing hadn't erupted in a full-scale nudity-contest. Man, that would be too embarrassing!

"*Murple burble* I'mm confused...!" Came the sound of Clasps' voice. Apparently she'd awakened from her puddle-up resting, and was staring at the scene with said confusion. "Why is everyone trying to get each other naked...?!" The two Tallest hoped that they could avoid taking the blame for this -it wasn't happening.

"We had NOTHING to do with this!" The Tallest and Sploods all shouted at once.

"Suuure...!" Smirked Vick, "Like, it was YOUR FAULT that we all decided to PLAY Truth, Dare, Double-dare, Promise to Repeat in the FIRST PLACE!"

"NO it wasn't! It was Nessie's fault!" Shouted Tallest Purple as he pointed at him.

"And, case in point, we never WANTED anyone to get NUDE~!" Tallest Red added.

"Yeah, I expressly told Nessie to put his shirt back on, too!" Tallest Purple continued.

"Come on, like anybody CARES about whether or not he has some part of his clothing on!" Lasch-mik said, causing everyone's heads to turn to look at her. "What, you can't take a joke?!" She asked with a laugh.

"Riiiight, well, maybe, just maybe, we, uh...shouldn't be encouraging her anymore..." Said Clasps, surprising everyone with how much she seemed to know.

"Hey, wait! How'd you know it was her who started it?!" Asked Ploopoh skeptically.

"What, you mean...it wasn't?!" Asked Clasps, staring.

And that was the end of the Truth, Dare, Double-dare, Promise to Repeat game...! Thankfully, and much to the Tallests' relief, Lasch-mik's tour of terrorizing had ended.

Little did they realize, that the true terrorizing had only just begun -and that it wasn't just Lasch-mik who'd be doing it!

Well, actually, they'd been on this planet long enough to realize that everything was trying to terrorize them, so...that's a lie! Whoopsies, sorrys~!

* * *

And now, back to your regularly-scheduled story-line... Back in the future...

Like, where we last left them, after the Almighty Tallest had just finished their puppet-show...!

Sploods was huddling up on top of the soil-monster's skeleton, hoping beyond all doubt, that another horrifying, monstrous creature didn't notice him again. The air wasn't that chilly, especially with the black tarp-like blanket that he was hiding under, but he was still shivering. The look of the stars could mean pretty-much anything if he didn't have any other indicators -of course, that was exactly one of his specialties, so why should he have been worried about it? Sploods looked down and wondered how everyone else was doing, before worrying if Tak could sense any horrifying danger before he could. She was standing watch below, because she didn't want to hide underneath the same blanket as him, but she was still close. She was hopefully close enough to prevent his sudden and untimely death.

As Sploods thought about these terrifying thoughts, he realized that he wanted to get down. His squiddily-spooch-instinct was telling him that something was creeping up on him... Tak assured him that his squiddily-spooch-instinct wasn't wrong; and he instantly came scuttling down, without even waiting for her to help. It was just as well. The things that were creeping up on him instantly shuffled off, into the bushes, and he thanked everyone but Tak that he hadn't been eaten.

"'It was nothing', huh?" He said in reply to her mental modest reply, "Yeah, ya' got _that_ right!"

As everyone looked at him expectantly, and with a little confusion, he had to sigh and shake his head -it just wasn't worth getting eaten tonight.

"Well?!" Asked Tallest Purple.

"You can't tell us you don't have _some_ clue!" Added Tallest Red. He balled up the black tarp-camouflage that they'd made and glared at him, as if he'd expected much better of Sploods -and indeed, he had! "Why'd you come back down?!"

"Excuse me, but I don't think it's going to work -even with that camouflage-tarp, I was still being stalked by some monsters or something! I think that we'd better just come up with a new plan~" Came the reply from Sploods.

There was a loud bunch of sighs and moans.

"Well, why don't we just put a camera up there?" Suggested Lard-nar. He was finally starting to help out when it came to Sploods, but he'd be danged if he was going to help out the Almighty Tallest anytime soon!

She knew it was coming. She just knew it. Even so, she couldn't...

"TAK!" Exclaimed Tallest Red. "You go and hook up a communications-device to serve as your camera -then we can all see from what your communicator shows on our screens."

Tak took the time to contemplate when she would ever get a break, and decided that it wouldn't exist until they left this horrifying ball of a planet. In the meantime, she responded, "Yes, Sir!" And examined the soil-monster's skeleton to see where the best spot would be to put it.

After placing it in an amazingly-unnoticeable place -for that porous, soil-monster's skeleton, it was pretty good- she hopped down and used her PAK-legs to slow her descent, just as a nearby predator tried to have her as his dinner.

Having ruined yet another meal for those voracious jungle creatures, Tak walked back in the camp-site to let them know it was done. Tak also figuratively hovered nearby the literally non-hovering Tallest as they looked at the screens in front of them; everyone was vying for a view.

She looked over Tallest Red's shoulder, hoping to see if he'd answered it.

Tallest Purple held up his screen and said, "Whoo-hoo! Look, see? I got the first call-ia!" Indicating that he'd answered it first.

Tallest Red just raised a non-existent eyebrow and wondered if he hadn't learned from his past experience. "Uh-huh...!"

The people pressing in around them soon smushed him, and he yelled as he fell down, "MMuuiippOUUPPTTT!" His body was no longer visible, as everyone pushed at and grabbed the screen from his hands.

Tallest Red just took a moment to look up at Tak and Sploods, who were standing at his other side, before answering the call as well. "You'd think he would'a known by now, eh?" He stated as the picture came on the screen.

The picture showed the stars: but with one problem... "Which way is the camera facing?" Asked Sploods. Tallest Red blinked at him, and even Purple heard it -how, we don't know- underneath that pile of other aliens.

"I'd think you'd know that the top of THIS screen is the top of the camera; plus, weren't you just UP THERE?!" Asked Tallest Red in irritation.

"Yeah, but, which direction? I mean, I can't recognize the key -oh, hey! There's that little Armeiinan donkey! Okay, I'm good! I think it's facing...south-to-south-west...?" He looked up, and then around again. Then he looked up at Tak with confusion still showing on his face.

"I placed it with the top towards the south-easterly direction, so it should be at south-to-south-east. Is that good enough?" She replied easily; Tak wanted a break, soon. That was probably not ever gonna' happen.

"Yeah, but let's just make sure to move it every once in a while. That's still gotta' be a full view of the sky, and that communicator's camera isn't a globed one." Replied Sploods, thoroughly annoying her. Tak just nodded and walked away from the clambering aliens trying to get a look at the communicator's image to sit almost near the edge of the camp.

"Yeah, we could almost hear that Dib-headed kid's voice-hey, wait a minute, why's he been so quiet?!" Ploopoh suddenly said, popping his head up to look around.

Dib's head popped up from the group surrounding Tallest Purple and the screen and showed them why: it looked like someone had covered his mouth with a strip of that bark and black, sticky stuff from those tar-trees. Everyone snickered and giggled, whilest the other burst into outright laughter.

"Well, that explains THAT!" Laughed Lard-nar, clutching at his mid-section.

"Wonderful! I wonder when they did it?!" Asked Starky.

"Hey, Tak! Tell us who did that to the big-head!" Asked Lasch-mik, somewhat accusingly.

"I know who did it, but I'm not going to tell anyone. And by the way, it WASN'T I who did it." Tak replied with the truth.

"Muuhh guooh grkeawigdzh ihm gughunah hahhghah wahh mnyy mnough ohh, righ?!" Dib mumbled, pointing at his own mouth and glaring at her. He finished the thought mentally, 'You do know we only have a limited amount of soap, don't you?!'

"Well, YOU should've thought of THAT before you let someone jump you!" Tak replied to his mumbling and mental grumbling.

Dib just glared at her, whilest Nessie watched with particular sadistic glee.

No one found out at that point in time who it was who had done it: which was just as well, since they would've probably made an even louder ruckus than they already had congratulating them!

As the groups' excitement over the image of the stars died down, so did Tallest Purple's muffled moans about getting people off of him. They gradually backed off, and eventually Tallest Red and Sploods had to give him a hand to help him up.

"Uuugghhh! Mik, I'm _never_ doin' THAT again!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple as he straightened up and hovered once more.

"So, how goes the 'Weographing?" Tallest Red asked Sploods, as they'd already gone back to examining the screen.

"So far...*sigh*...there's a lot of stars here, and I'll still need a whole picture of the sky -it's gonna' take a while." Sploods replied as he scrunched up his already 'splodey-looking face, lips turning into a wobbly-line before he relaxed it again. Tallest Red leaned over him, but then quickly leaned back. He had been trying to be polite, but...

"*Sniff sniff* Hey, Sploods, you stink."

"Huyuahgh!" Sploods was broken out of his contemplative thoughts of galactic coordinates as he heard this. "I think... *Sniff sniff* ...that I need to scrub!" He winced as he realized that he really did smell -as much as he'd tried to avoid getting filthy, that was a losing battle- and he knew that he'd have to do something.

"Ohkay, then..." Replied Tallest Purple, "That was more than I needed to know..."

"TAAAK!" Tallest Red exclaimed, "Have we got anything to scrub ourselves clean with?!" Sploods shuddered as he imagined using potentially-dangerous, alien materials to clean themselves.

"Along with stuff to clean our clothes, if we can!" Sploods added hopefully, holding up a finger.

"No, Sirs, we weren't able to get any of that; the last outing was mainly to scout around for food," Tak replied, walking back up to them.

"Alright, fine!" Pouted Tallest Red loudly, "Then, you'll just have to go back out!"

"That's not a very good idea!" Exclaimed Vrilly, "I-I mean, it's night out!" She explained quickly, hoping that they didn't get too mad at her for poking down their idea.

"I agree; no matter how much we wish for it, it'll be better if we all just wait," Lard-nar said, and everyone, including Lasch-mik, moaned. He added, "Until MORNING."

"*Sigh* Oh, great! How long did that take the last time?!" Asked Nessie, rolling his eyes high up to look at the skies. If it weren't for the overhang of the soil-monster's skeleton, that was what he would've looked like.

* * *

An unimaginable amount of time later, and it was dawn!

Nessie groaned from his place on the rock. "Man...that was NOT the best place to sleep...!"

Vick glared as she looked over at him from her place by the fire. "Yeesh, I told you it wasn't a good idea!"

"Mmm, what a weird dream about that ransal-raptor!... Wait, those don't exist!..." Mumbled Dib as he awoke, checking his eyelids for light-leaks as he rubbed them. At the very least, he was upright.

"Yeaaahhh...I'd rather not see anymore of those horrible things," Replied Tak from her place by the side of the soil-monster skeleton's wall.

"But, wait, they didn't even exist!" Dib replied; still groggy, yet he was quick as always with a question.

"That's not what you were dreaming about: it was those tiny raptor-like things in the Jurassic period," Tak responded. Everyone who wasn't confused enough already was even more confused about why she'd been listening in on his dreams.

"Please don't say you do that every night," Ploopoh pleaded, wondering if his own dreams about everyone in the group and from back home snapping his shorpa were also seen.

"Hey, he was waving his arms in his sleep, saying, 'Yelp me! Yelp me! Helping pink shriekey things!' You've gotta' admit, that's unusual enough to warrant _any_body's attention!" Tak responded with a bit of a smirk.

"Hee hee hee, yeah, that was pretty funny," Vick replied. She'd been awake since earlier, having gone to sleep sooner than Nessie had. Nessie had been fighting with Ploopoh over who had the worst problem wearing the new underwear that they'd made with the coarse plant-fibers -it was decided that it was a draw- and he fell asleep after moaning about how his coat was still being used as the food-tarp. (Vick had decided that he could wash his own clothes; though, she took pity on Dib and taught him how to do it. He always had automatic laundry at his house.) Dib, incidentally, had changed back into his regular clothes, since they were already dry. He had finally fallen asleep after Nessie had, breaking the all-time record of his sleeping the most. No, wait, that was Clasps. Her planet's days were shorter.

Clasps was currently inflating herself with air; her way of "stretching" into her full shape in the morning. She'd been sleeping relatively more often, conserving her energy, since she couldn't do much in the way of anything else. She at least didn't want to be a burden, and eat too much of everybody else's food. She didn't really need to, but it was useful enough, that everybody let her do it.

"Well, whatever, let's just not do it, and say we did!" Tallest Purple's voice was heard carrying over the silence of the morning.

"Huh?!" Asked Sploods in surprise.

Everyone turned to look at the Tallest and Sploods, but they just looked back, as if it wasn't any of their business. "Well?" Stated Tallest Red. They went back to their conversation, at a slightly lower volume.

"Yeesh, what are they getting so yappy about?!" Asked Starky. He was still kind-of ticked off for some reason. Nobody could figure out why, though. Nobody had seen when this thing that had supposedly ticked him off had happened; they thusly ignored it.

"A-Actually, it's about-" Sploods was about to explain, when Tak interrupted for him.

"It's a very _important_ conversation, nothing that you'd want to know about," she said, quietly staring at him as if that could shut him up more than her psychic powers would.

"But, we do wanna' know!" Shloonktapooxis said, hovering near the ground.

"Really, you'd think that-!" Tallest Red said, but had to stop because Purple had leaned forward and shouted.

"Oh, alright! Just tell 'em! They're just gonna' keep on askin'!" Purple was instantly glared at by the other Tallest, who wasn't the least bit impressed by his theatrics. He didn't argue with him, but decided to direct the information flow.

"The important conversation, is about the Deadabase screening-processes, which is a part of their pre-set security protocols. The Control Brains had some pre-set security systems in place, but they decided to upgrade it. Nobody knows why, but it went wrong, and so they had to revert back to the old security pre-sets until they could figure it out." Tallest Red said, briefly quoting and glazing over the finer details with a sugar-coating of "it's still okay, isn't it?".

"You mentioned that before, or something, didn't you?" Asked Vrilly. She was awake again, after falling asleep for a short while when Vick had woken up.

"Wow, that...really is important...!" Commented Lasch-mik.

"Now do you see why they didn't want to be interrupted?" Asked Tak in annoyance.

"What is she, your Information Blasting Agent?!" Asked Lasch-mik sardonically.

"Well, the Control Brains can't possibly have figured out all the bugs yet;" Lard-nar was saying, "Didn't the last one take ...ages...of bug-fixes?" He looked around to find his mother and Tak in an evil staring contest, once again. They seemed to like doing that.

"She's not doing anything she's not _supposed_ to be doing," Tallest Red replied in a bored tone, "So why don't you stop with the staring-contest?"

"That wasn't the...wait, what was the problem?!" Asked Tallest Purple, looking to Sploods for more information.

"They don't know what it is yet, they just want to make sure of things. The last bug-fixes didn't take ages...just the Control Brains' agreement...!" Sploods replied, and the last part he added sounded sort-of mysterious.

"Hey, wait a minute, if that 'Deadabase' thing has a problem with its security, then doesn't that mean that someone could hack it to steal information from 'em, or something?" Asked Dib, looking up at Tak.

The silence of the shock from that kind of statement was eerie. And the lake had nothing to do with it.

"That's unheard-of, but why anyone would want to sift through all that information, just for the sake of espionage, is equally strange." Tak replied calmly and simply.

"Woah, that's a creepy idea!" Vrilly exclaimed, almost shuddering.

"I agree, that kid has a scary mind; I'm glad I can't see his dreams!" Lasch-mik replied, still staring straight at Tak, willing her a reaction.

Tak wouldn't comply. "That's an understatement."

"Wait, what's a 'Deadabase' thing?" Asked Vick by the fire.

"Yeah, it sounds a little like the word, 'Database'. Is that a database for dead things?!" Agent Nessie's question included some hope that it was of the supernatural kind, but it was dashed. Sploods let the Tallest explain.

"It's just the compiled knowledge and some of the memories of the Irkens who have died." Tallest Purple explained. The uninformed ones still looked confused.

"It's sent from the PAK to the Control Brains after we die," Sploods finally decided that it was time to step up to the invisible plate. "Then, it's sorted, re-sorted, and certain information is kept, while the unimportant information is deleted. The rest is downloaded into the PAK to the next generation of Irkens."

"Huh," Nessie said with a squint as he tried to get his head around it.

"The database is the first academic lesson for Irkens," Tak decided to help out.

"OH!" Shouted Vick suddenly, "So, it's like a giant HISTORY lesson!"

"Wow, that took a while." Dib said with a bit of a laugh. No one paid much attention to it.

"Well, that would be an interesting way to honor your dead," Nessie replied simply.

"Eeeww," said Vrilly as she suddenly understood what he'd just said, "So, wait, if somebody stole information from that, wouldn't it be like, desecration?"

"Yeeeah, I'm not interested in finding out if you could get haunted," Tak agreed.

"That must be why no one has done it yet," Lard-nar commented.

"Well, we usually have at least _some_ respect for the dead," Lasch-mik explained.

"Agreed," said Tak.

"Yeah, really!" Clasps agreed.

"Ppssshh! That reminds me of when I was a kid," Agent Nessie put a finger on his chin thoughtfully, "I used to live near a cemetery, and these other kids from down the road always caused trouble with it! I think that I was about...oh, I can't remember how old I was, I was in my teens..."

"Is this gonna' take long?" Asked Sploods. He was hoping that he could get back to his conversation with the Tallest.

"Uh? Oh, nah, I was just remembering: they took these cans of spray-paint, and were painting all over the gravestones -I was always exploring the graveyard in those days- there was nothing else to do in that little town. I ran across the road, literally, yelling at them to quit it. They ran, and I chased after them, but then I tripped and fell back and hit my head on the stones; I don't remember where they went off to, but my mom freaked out when I went home with blood dripping down my shirt!" Nessie laughed like it was an old joke. "It really wasn't that bad -I've still got the scar on my neck!"

"What, are you serious?" Asked Vick, slightly incredulously, like it was hard to believe.

"Cool, scars! I wanna' see!" Vrilly suddenly clapped and hopped up to go look at Agent Nessie's neck.

"Wait, how'd you fall _backwards_ if you were running forwards?" Asked Tak as Nessie pointed to the unobtrusive pale scar on the back of his already-pale neck.

"Woah, that's neat!" Vrilly was examining it. "It's all round!"

"Well now _I've_ gotta' see," Vick sighed, standing up, as her curiosity got the best of her. "'Come on, let me look," she said as she walked over there.

"Well, this'll be interesting!" Lasch-mik also headed over to see.

"And why would you get a scar on your neck if you hit your head?!" Asked Dib, after running the scene through his mind over and over again. It didn't make sense.

"Move your hand, I can't see," Vick was saying as all three of them poked and prodded at his neck.

"Wait, that isn't-" Lasch-mik backed up quickly. Vrilly also saw what she was talking about, and pulled away.

"Well, that's weird," Vick agreed with whatever assessment the other two girls had made, "But, what is that?..."

"Hey, come on! What's so strange?" Agent Nessie wondered in annoyance at the cold hands that were prodding his neck.

"That really looks like, ah..." Vick pulled up a stick and started scratching something in the dirt. "There's this circle, and..."

Tak was the first to notice that something was wrong. 'Dib...that's not-!'

'Please don't be a crescent, please don't be a crescent moon with a -!' Dib jumped over into the drawing, face-first, before it could be completed. Everyone else was now looking at him like he'd gone loco.

"Dii-ib," started Vick, slowly, "Why did you just flop onto my drawing...?"

"W-WHAT!?" Dib started, face now up and out of the dirt, "I'M NOT, IT'S NOTHING!"

"Okay, if there's no excuse," Vick was beginning to say, but was interrupted.

"I SAID IT WAS NOTHING! JUST, UHM, DON'T DO ANY MORE DRAWING, NOW, UH, OKAY?!" Dib stated, hopping up and breaking her stick in half.

"Okay, I'd be worried if this wasn't so funny," Nessie admitted as he covered his face, almost laughing.

"That is extremely interesting," Lasch-mik stated with a sly smirk on her face.

"There's-uhm, uh-!" Dib was breathing hard, but at least he was breathing, because he was starting to calm down and to think. Not very well, because he was still panicking, and it's hard to panic and to think straight. "Th-that's magic! It's not good if you draw it when you don't know what it's, uh, uhm...!" By now the Tallest were hovering over there, along with Sploods, who was walking.

"Oh, is that your Monster House thing?" Asked Tallest Red as he hovered.

"...Huh?...!" Was all Dib could think to say at that point. "I, uh, of course not! Th-that's, uh-!"

It was at that moment that Lasch-mik decided to collapse, giggling. "Wait, wait, I'm confused! What's happening?!" Asked Vrilly, looking back and forth between Lasch-mik and Nessie's neck.

"Wait a second...! HEY! Monster House! THAT'S what it means?! Hey, wait, how'd YOU KNOW IT!?" Asked Vick, pointed to Dib, who looked like he'd just swallowed the whole rock-monster mountain. There was silence for a while.

"...Would you believe me if I told you that I read about it?..." Asked Dib pleadingly, laughing nervously.

"No, I've read all those books you'd have read," Nessie stated with a finger on his chin.

"And I've even recommended some to you," added Vick with a pointed finger.

"D'oh...!" Dib moaned with a scrunched-up face. He wondered if his Grandmaman Muertas could see or hear him if he blabbed about it. They were billions of light-years away from Earth; not that he'd ever seen distance stop her dooming him. He finally decided that, with the looks on everyone else's faces, he might have to take that chance; he took a deep breath. And promptly almost forgot to breathe in again. "You see...it's a long story..."

"Believe me, we've got time," Ploopoh said, making Dib groan even more.

"Well...funny thing, really...no, not funny, more like insane and depressing..." Dib started, wondering where to begin. Tak poked him mentally, and he wished that she wouldn't rush him. He didn't want to, but, "Let me point out that I had ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what they were hiding from me!"

"What WHO were hiding from you?" Agent Nessie asked with a raised, existent eyebrow.

"My family," Dib finished simply.

"You know, this is about as difficult as it's ever been to get you to finish a story," Vick pointed out, along with her finger. The others agreed. "Usually we have a hard enough time shutting you _up_!"

"Yeah, well, you don't have a particularly scary...eh, uh, person who could doom you!" Dib stated, looking around in case some sort of fire surrounded him. It would only be him.

"Who?!" Asked Vick.

"My Grandmaman, Muertas..." Replied Dib, still staring around in case something happened to him.

"Huh?" Asked Nessie succinctly.

"Wait a minute, explain to us... Why are you so scared of your granny?" Asked Vick incredulously.

"She's NOT 'granny', she's Grandmaman Muertas, and my family on my mother's side are all super-creepy and," Dib blinked as he realized that he wasn't helping his "non-dooming self" case, and just sighed instead. "Their last name means Phantom of the Moor."

Nessie just raised an eyebrow. "Huh?"

"I'm still confused," Vick stated, turning to look at Nessie.

"*Sigh*" Dib face-palmed before saying, "Come ON already...! I've done everything but a song-and-dance!" Then he thought a moment. "Wait, maybe that was confusing...alright, let me start over!"

Lasch-mik had been enjoying his spectacle, but finally she said, "Just GET ON WITH IT and SAY WHAT YOU MEAN!"

"Okay, so, my dad's side of the family is fine! It's normal! But my mom's side of the family is, eh...well, it's weird! And, well..." Dib paused and couldn't seem to spit the words out. Vrilly threw a rock at him.

"That symbol that looks like the scar on Nessie's neck is their family crest!" Dib finally managed.

"What...?" Mumbled Vick.

"Which makes them..." Nessie prodded leadingly, "...What?"

"A... A Monster House!" Dib froze, expecting to be zapped or something. He slowly realized that he was still alive, and was cringing. Well, at least he thought he was...!

"FINALLY!" Said Agent Nessie.

"I was wondering when he'd get to it," Vick said, shaking her head, smirking for some reason.

Lasch-mik started laughing hysterically once again. Everyone turned to look at her, before looking back at the still-live-headed Dib.

"You know, that's the best you've done at keeping your mouth shut, about anything?!" Vick asked as she pointed at him. She still had a smirk on her face.

"You mean, besides the fact that he wasn't very good at it," Added Vrilly.

"That took forever; plus, it was kind-of obvious with the evidence, you know what I'm saying?" Replied Ploopoh, looking around at everyone.

"That's true!" Replied Tak from her place behind the Almighty Tallest.

"Psh! You were cringing!" Vick started to snicker.

"I was envisioning all of the horrifying ways that I could be doomed!" Dib said, wrapping his arms around himself with a shudder.

"Uh-huh, it was getting more and more obvious when you started explaining that to us," said Agent Nessie, starting to laugh, "Especially when you mentioned how your grandmother was scary!"

"I mean, it's not like she'd kill you!" Vick said, patting Dib on the back.

"Nah...you're right..." Dib said with an eye-brow raised, "...She'd probably just maim me horribly...!" His wide eyes, terrifyingly serious, made no impression on the others.

"Hah hah hah!" Laughed Vick as she patted him on the shoulder. "Yeah, right!"

"Say, by the way, what about this thing on my neck?!" Asked Agent Nessie, nervously now pointing to the place where his scary scar was.

"Huh?!" Dib turned around again to look, "Oh! That's okay, it's just a uh, protection-thing. Well, actually it's used as a territory-thing as well...it just means that other monsters, er, people, in the family should take care of you, and, like, not hurt you...!" He thought a minute, "That's not a problem if you're a Paranormal Investigator, is it?" He found no particular reason why it should not: his Uncle "Werewolf" Bob surely hadn't!

"Oh, great...! I've joined the Mafia!..." Nessie said as he shook his head.

Dib just laughed, "You're right! That's exactly what it is!"

"Oh my...!" Vick put a hand on her head and just talked into it. "That must be why all the governments don't seem to care...!"

Dib was still laughing, but he finally paused a bit and wiped a stray tear from his eye before he said, "N-No, well, they don't actually get involved in world affairs...just some individuals." A couple of the aliens looked at each other when he said that.

"What do you mean? Eranguigahch's got that psychic who advises the Prime Minister," Vick refuted quickly.

"Well, yeah, but she's just one person. The family as a whole doesn't try to influence politics. Too many bad experiences." Dib explained easily. The effect that this had was to confuse them even moreso.

"You're not making any sense!" Replied Vick, "When you say the family, aren't you talking about all of them?!"

"NO! Just the leading core figures; the rest are either loyal or begrudging followers, and they don't question each other's political stance." Dib was trying hard to make more sense -thankfully, none of the other aliens even cared.

"Yeah, well, whatever -you're still not gonna' have an easy time, here," Stated Vrilly, waving an arm at him, "I mean, they've just barely gotten the hang of the idea of a Monster House to begin with!"

"*Sn-snore*! Uh, wait a minute, what'd I miss!?" Asked Tarky, who had just awakened from his nap.

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTES:

This story has been submitted for your approval by Rod Serling, and The Letter M~!

"Evil-eye Jelly-fishing" is a fun thing I made up, and is a popular past-time with aliens in the Irken Empire, apparently.

I was going to continue that scene after the Truth, Dare, Double-dare, Promise to Repeat thing, and show how more of the other stuff that Dib noticed after waking up happened, but...let's just leave all of that to your fertile crescent imaginations, eh?

The "shorpa" that Ploopoh wears is really just like briefs or panties to us. The fact that it's on his torso-area just adds a whole new level of hilarity to fuel your evil minds~!

Not much else to say about this chapter, but, if you don't want to be left behind... *Runs off*


	7. Another 7

DISCLAIMER: I DISCLAIM NOTHING! ...Except for the fact that I don't own Invader Zim! No, wait...that sentence don't work right... And neither did that one.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: You may have to take notes. This could get messy. By that, I mean that if you wanted all of that info, then you should've been listening, instead of poking your fingers into your nose! *Evil glares* You know who you are...!

* * *

**CHAPTER 7: Where's Prisoner #777 When You Need 'Im?!**

* * *

Nobody cared enough to keep track of the time, so nobody cared when it was that this next conversation was taking place...

"Well, alright..." Said Vrilly, "Lard-nar and Lasch-mik have finally gone to sleep, so that means that they'll be out for a while," she stated this, looking in their general directions. "Ploopoh still hasn't gotten enough sleep, I'm sure," she pointed out to him. Ploopoh nodded, as this seemed to be the case. He had just awoken briefly when there was more noise, but aside from getting some fruit, he looked like he was about to drop off at any moment. "I can only assume that Shloonktapooxis is asleep:" she gestured to him where he was floating and wriggling, with his eyes closed, in the air. "And, Tarky and Clasps are too weakened to go out on any gathering missions. That leaves only... Vick, Nessie, Throbulator, Crystal, Tak, and Dib...I think. Is that everyone?" She asked, looking from alien face to alien face.

She'd been asked by Vick when they were contemplating the group who would go out and gather more cleaning materials, who would be able to go. The Almighty Tallest were absolutely insistent upon this, and it was not in their best interests to irritate each other with their lack of hygiene. Considerably, there was much less arguing and stuff, but that still didn't make it that easy!

"Hey, wait a minute! You left me out!" Exclaimed Starky suddenly. "I'm able to go out to collect stuff!" He seemed somehow offended by this, and the part at the top of his head was turning bright blue.

"Yeah, and I left _myself_ out, too!" Added Vrilly, as if to calm him with her lack of memory. "I'm sorry. If we're talking about people who are able-bodied, then perhaps even the Almighty Tallest, and Adviser Sploods should be added to that list;" she explained.

"No need, we don't need any weak and wimpy Adviser and his leaders botching up our scavenging!" Replied Vick swiftly. Nessie turned to look at her. He'd finally gotten on his pants and regular underwear, but was contemplating how hot he'd be, wearing his shirt. It was looking like he'd never get his coat back, but he'd managed to steal it back for a while, to wash.

"You know, you're really getting a whole lot surlier, the longer we stay here!" Nessie commented, then looked over at his coat to see if it was done soaking yet. He decided not to rot the fabric, and pulled it out, much to the nearby rock-looking fuzzy-monsters' dismay. "What?!" He asked; he was at the edge of camp, and hadn't realized that they were indeed not rocks, but animals. In this place, it was hard to tell.

"What?! I was only tellin' the truth!" Replied Vick with a wave of her hand.

"*Sigh* _Well_, you didn't need to say it like _that_," replied Nessie, as he tried to keep his cool. Deciding that those alien things were gone by now, he wrung out his coat and then hung it up to dry.

A brief wind blew by, and he basked in the coolness of the old-fashioned air-conditioning. Then he turned to look at them, "What?"

"Agent _Loch Nessie_ seems to be missing his Loch!" Replied Vick with a snirk.

"Hah hah, whatever!" Nessie replied, not bothering to regale them with the reason.

"He's just hot," replied Dib, whilest he contemplated staying there against making Tak even angrier if he went out.

"Come on!" Vick giggled. "It can't be THAT much hotter _here_ than in- in Scotland!"

"I'm not the one who lives in -uh, wait, where do you guys live, again?" Asked Nessie, suddenly confused.

"Red City," replied Vick.

"Yeah, me, too. Red City. And, right now, it's pretty comfy." Added Dib, who was wearing his black, leather trench-coat.

"Wulugh! The Red City...! It always gave me this sickening coating of pollution on my skin...!" Mumbled Nessie as he fixed his coat to the tree-branch it was hanging off of, so that it wouldn't fall.

"Well, YEAH~! Why do you think they changed its name?!" Vick replied snarkily.

"Heh heh heh, THAT, _and_, being named after demons didn't help with the tourism, any..." added Dib with a half-hearted laugh.

"Woah, they named a city after them?!" Replied Tallest Purple in excitement.

"You know, that reminds me of that one planet," added Ploopoh.

"Oh, yeah! Heh, heh!" Tallest Red giggled. Even Sploods had to giggle at that.

"Psshhh! They should've just named it the 'Pretties-purple-eys'! Like I'd wanted them to!" Tallest Purple replied, and this time not just Tallest Red and Sploods were staring at him.

"Riiight... Well, getting back on track, you guys," started Vick, but this was interrupted by the Almighty Tallest once again.

"HEY! Why'd they name that place the 'Red City'?!" Tallest Red asked, strangely interested in any place that had his favorite color and his namesake in its name.

Vick looked around, confused about this type of question when they should've been talking about gathering supplies and stuff. Agent Nessie answered, instead. "I believe it's because of the pollution," he stated, but paused and didn't elaborate.

"The pollution makes the sky look a burnt reddish and orange color, most of the time." Tak elaborated, ending the conversation.

"Oooh, nice!" Tallest Red stated, satisfied. Tallest Purple seemed happy, too. Well, somewhat.

"You know, I really like it when planets have a different-colored sky," he replied, staring somewhat off into the distance. Then he returned. "Ah, well!"

"Well...this has been an interesting break... But, we really haven't decided who's going out to gather all of those, eh, cleaning supplies, and stuff." Vick stated slowly, wondering why in the heck they couldn't just decide and get it over with.

"YOU'RE not one of the ones who's benefiting, so what would YOU care?!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple suddenly, pointing at her.

"That's...wait, what?! I thought that the point was for us to be working together as a group!" Replied Vick in confusion. The Almighty Tallest apparently did not like the conversation to change right at that moment. They also liked colors.

"Calm down, now," Tallest Red was saying in low tones to Tallest Purple. "We really need to- not! cause trouble! With these aliens! Now, we'll just work as a group..."

Tak decided that looking into their minds wasn't worth the trouble it would bring, despite her intense confusion. Well, more like Dib's projected confusion.

"I-I'm not one to interrupt, like, the Tallests' musings, but, uh... _When_ are we going to get GOING?!" Asked Starky, raising his hand. The top part of his head had now started turning more orange, in response to his apparent anxiousness.

After the subsequent arm and leg-twisting of Starky, the group chosen to head out was Agent Nessie -now in shirt- Vick, Throbulator, Starky -un-pretzeled- and Tak, who had the scanner. Crystal had to stay behind to protect the Tallest and the rest of the group, and Dib, of course, had a head that attracted danger.

The quintet walked rather slowly towards the mountain, but they didn't want to get anywhere near it. It seemed to remember their past grievances, and moved over to the right, as if just challenging them to walk towards it. They neither accepted the challenge, nor paid much attention to it, as they examined everything around the surrounding perimeter of their camp-site. Nothing looked useful, so they continued on.

Tak, having the scanner, naturally was in front. Throbulator took some small, hand-made weapons and stayed to the right; Starky took a big, mace-looking in-sentient rock on a stick and stayed to the left; leaving Vick with the ropes and rocks-on-ropes, and Nessie with a "shock" blow-gun to the middle-rear. Of course, they usually became a line going through the tiny spaces between the foliage. And they all had bags and such to carry the things that they scavenged, along with some nets that someone had decided to make for everyone at some point.

Though Vick and Nessie thought about bringing some water with them somehow, it was finally decided that it wasn't worth the pain it was to make more bottles. Lasch-mik's bottle that held the "health-draught" she'd given Dib was finally deemed toxic waste, as was any of the stuff she'd used to make it. They tossed it outside the camp-site, and watched it scare away the other creatures... They also almost re-thought using it for their own protection... Then the Almighty Tallest moaned about more "stinky alien stuff", and that solved that issue. Coincidentally, every last drop of that stuff was devoured by the bugs posing as flies. They all avoided them, since, obviously, they weren't really bugs: and that creeped everyone out.

Not just the Irkens.

"Starky, do you have the pale-green mosses that I just handed you?" Asked Tak, looking in desperate hope to find something useful, quickly. The scanner still showed nothing of non-horrifying origin, and she'd stopped looking at it as she phrased her question. "Huh?"

"That-! Oh, right!" Starky pulled it out of his pocket, then handed it to her with a nervous grin.

"Even after I _expressly_ told you NOT to put it into your pocket," replied Tak as she received it, glaring at him. "It'll still grow once it attaches to the insides of your pockets!"

"Oh, whose-what?!" Asked Starky in annoyance. That unusual alien colloquial phrase aside; "It's not like I'm not gonna' wash it!"

"That's not a good idea, you know;" Nessie held his finger up and added, "You know what happened with _my_ coat!"

"Oh, well...uhh..." Starky seemed to have run out of ideas, and Throbulator decided to voice his opinion.

"We should keep moving: if we stay in the same place too long, we'll get eaten." He was being surprisingly-quiet at this point, and even held his hand out to point to a possible direction.

"No, I've got a better way -I know that no one wants to go there- but perhaps we could find something by the mountain?" Responded Tak as she scanned the moss. Internally, it held some possibilities, but that was impossible to get out -not without much more advanced lab-equipment- and so she simply sighed and tossed it out. "This stuff isn't going to work."

"Hey!" Exclaimed Starky suddenly, as she threw it away. He wanted to catch it, but it was already gone. And after he'd gone to all the trouble of carrying it. He humphed.

"We..._really_ wanna' go toward that mountain...?" Asked Vick, nervously. Although she had all the tools she thought she'd need, she couldn't use them on a mountain!

"Then, in that case, we'd better get moving!" Replied Nessie, looking around at the surrounding jungle nervously.

"Wundebar!" Moaned Vick as they advanced towards it.

"Maybe if we pray, apologize, and then beg for mercy...?" Mumbled Throbulator.

"You're a Rough-rock Soldier; why would you do that?" Asked Tak as she led the way.

"*Sigh* Oh, I don't know, I mean, it _is_ sentient...!" Mumbled Throbulator back at her, knowing full-well that she could just read his mind if she wanted. "That, and, we seem to have gotten on its bad-side the last time..."

Tak pouted and reconsidered his mumbled idea.

"Yeah, and it was Starky who caused it!" Replied Vick with a little giggle, remembering. Those of you who have been paying attention may remember what happened back in the first chapter. The rest... *Shakes head* In any event, Starky pouted at this.

"Hey, it's not like I had any way of knowing it was mountain's little rock-child!" He retorted, still pouting.

"Nyeah, well, we had a Mineralalien with us, so now it just seems silly," Commented Throbulator.

"I'd agree; only I didn't stop to consider sentient rock-beings, either." Tak stated simply, not turning to look back at them. "And that Soil-monster was really a surprise!"

"Yeah, heh!" Replied Vick, thinking back to the scrambled memory.

"That reminds me," started Nessie, but before he could ask his question, he was interrupted by Starky.

"We're here!" He held up his club to overlook the area; but it was empty.

The jungle explicitly ended and soon dropped off to a sheer cliff within a few feet. The unseen stuff which made the fire-spurts down below wasn't making any until they chanced to lean over it and look. There was no way to get across without making a giant leap, unlike the last time. And they'd have watch out for those flying blue blobs which had eaten the Soil-monster from the inside-out!

"The only thing to do now is to get the things needed for your cleaning things," Throbulator summed up.

Since the Irken method of cleaning involved using something like soap called "cleansing chalk" to scrape away the outer-layer of grime on their bodies, leaving a layer of antibacterial stuff behind, the likelihood of finding it around the mountain was higher. It was made generally by mixing together one or two, or a few different minerals into a bar-shape, which also was slightly abrasive. "Cleansing chalk" indeed. The newer varieties tended to have fun stuff, like foaming, super-cleansing, action! among other things. The most they could expect to find was at least two of the minerals needed, and that was obviously going to be where minerals usually are: in the rocks. A rather large mountain would suffice. Unfortunately, it was also rather ticked off.

"Right, well..." Started Tak. She was unsure which method to take to talk to it.

"We...should...start by apologizing to it?" Asked Vick, referencing Throbulator's idea.

"Hey, it's probably still mad at us," Agreed Agent Nessie.

"But, how can we speak with it?" Asked Starky, surprisingly intuitive.

"I never thought of that," Throbulator admitted. "HEY! Excuse us, sentient mountain-creature! WHAT LANGUAGE DO YOU SPEAK?!" He shouted this so loudly that it echoed off the walls of the cliffs below them and the jungle behind them.

"Oh, great! Now you've probably just made it mad again," Tak replied as she stared anxiously.

"Well, maybe it only speaks rock or mountain or soil-monster-speak," replied Vick suddenly, "Quick, Tak! Can't you use that UTSFIPM thing to translate it!?"

"I can't even _hear_ it!" Tak admitted, still staring at the mountain.

"Maybe it uses a different frequency or method of communicating," Starky was still surprisingly intuitive.

"Well, can we see any other indication of communication since we've shouted?" Asked Agent Nessie, holding onto his blow-gun nervously.

"*Sigh* Where's Crystal when we need her?!" Replied Throbulator in annoyance. "Since she's got a crystalline structure, maybe she could do it?"

"Did she do it before?" Asked Vick.

"No, she didn't need to...!" Throbulator responded mysteriously.

"*Sigh* Well, since I can't sense it psychically, I'm trying to tune my sensors to try and pick up any other kind of signals, but it's not working." Tak looked up again at the mountain and got the very slight impression that it was getting annoyed. They had been standing in one place, staring up at it. She couldn't get her scanners to work, and she'd need more equipment to actually analyze it properly. Along with more scientists to study it. Where's Prisoner #777 when you need 'im?!

"Well, maybe we should wave?" Asked Throbulator. He'd been thinking back to their interactions with the mountain, and in no way had it made audible sounds; however, it did seem to move quite a bit.

"Of course! Maybe it communicates with movement!" Replied Agent Nessie excitedly.

"Well, that's about as good as anything _I've_ got!" Vick replied with a roll of her eyes.

"Only one problem," replied Tak, holding up her scanner.

"The mountain might not understand us?" Asked Throbulator. Now he was being surprisingly intuitive.

"Ri-iiight, of course...!" Mumbled Starky. "Well how would _we_ all apologize?" They looked around at each other for a minute. Then they unanimously decided to start their apologies, regardless of whether or not the mountain could understand them.

Vick and Nessie clasped their hands together in front of them and said, "We're sooo sorry!" Even bowing their heads a little.

Tak sighed and thought, 'I can't believe I'm about to do this,' before bending her head down until you couldn't see her face. She wiggled her antenna limply, apparently the Irken version of an apology.

"THROBULATOR! AND HIS GROUP WISH TO APOLOGIZE!" Throbulator just shouted.

Starky wiggled his hips about and made jazz-hands in the air. "Thii-iiis iiisss! The SORRY Dance! I'm -and the rest of my friends- are so SORRRYYY!"

The mountain, thankfully, moved and stopped them from making any more horrifying displays. It moved slightly to the left, and a hole opened in the side, probably a tunnel leading into it. The ground also shifted towards the cliffs surrounding it, making the gap between the crevice-canyon smaller, but not covering it entirely. That must've been to make room for the flame-spurts. After that, things quieted down a little bit.

"Well! That went well," stated Starky as he'd stopped dancing.

"Hooray!" "Yay"ed Vick.

"It looks like our apology has been accepted," Nessie added.

"Now let's never, ever do it again..." Moaned Tak, as Starky and Throbulator snickered appreciatively.

"Wait, will it even help us?" Asked Throbulator, "I mean, how would we even ask it?!"

And so their mad-communicating-pain began again.

They eventually found their way back to the camp-site, having made amends with their annoying and embarrassing antics, but came to find something equally-strange happening with the rest of them.

Dib was dancing weirdly, saying something, but eventually he sat down and let Crystal take the reigns. "Okay! And so, then-!" Crystal's dancing and saying was interrupted when the group entered the camp-site once more.

A dark bag-like-thing clunked onto the back of Dib's head, and he looked up when he heard someone say, "Hey, Big-head, what's with the shakin'?" It was Tak, as she walked by him and sat down a ways away. And the clunking thing which she'd now just dumped in his hands was a bottle.

"Hey, wait... Is this GLASS!?" He exclaimed, staring at it with renewed interest. It'd been wrapped in one of the nets with the dark, leather-like stuff that they'd used for the bags wrapped around the edges of it. It wasn't leathery enough to be used as clothes, but with netting it served much the same purpose.

The others in the group that had gone out to collect stuff were looking tired, but satisfied, as they showed off their stuff. "Thanks to Tak, we actually managed to get some bottles done!" Vick was saying, holding one in her hands as she spoke to Vrilly and the others. There were four of varying sizes, and although only one of them seemed to have come with a lid, the others could be covered up somehow, or so they were thinking.

"Tak made these things?!" Asked Dib with excitement, looking underneath the netting holding his.

"Don't take it out, and yeah!" Replied Vick easily.

"Well, more or less," added Agent Nessie.

"She made a mold carved out of in-sentient rock with lasers and then used a metal tube to blow air into a ball of glass while she held it inside the mold!" Explained Starky, "It was _so cool_! The glass inflated to the size and shape of the mold without losing any!"

"And, it hardly dripped," added Vick; even though she'd given Tak a hard time about it dripping a bit when she'd done it.

"I mean, I'd seen it done, like, with glass-blowers; but I didn't think it could be done while holding it inside of a mold!" Added Nessie.

"Of course, we had to break the molds to get them out, but it was _so_ worth it!" Throbulator stated emphatically.

"That, and, we also found all the minerals and stuff that we needed!" Added Vick, "Including some more lye for soap-making, and some for Crystal!"

"That's not that impressive," added Tak as she walked by behind her, "It was the way we got it!"

"Whey?" Asked Dib, looking up.

"Yeah, it was definitely worth all that apologizing!" Nessie replied, giving the opposite meaning to her words than their original implication.

"Apologizing?" Asked Dib, ever-curious.

"Yes! Throbulator! suggested that we all apologize for upsetting the mountain!" Throbulator answered his question in the third-person. Although all of the uninvolved's eyes were on him, he still didn't elaborate.

"Yeah! *Laughs* Throbulator was hilarious!" Said Vick, "He shouted so loudly!"

"Well, you and Nessie looked like a couple of little kids!" Replied Throbulator easily.

"We thought that movement would be easier for the mountain to understand," Explained Starky to the confused ones behind Vick and Vrilly.

"*Laughs* I especially liked Starky's 'Dance of Apology'!" Laughed Nessie.

"We all had to humiliate ourselves," Tak replied sourly. It wasn't a thing she wanted to think about.

"But, well, at least it worked!" Replied Vrilly, hoping to cheer her up a little.

"Yes! Let's just hope that we won't have to do it again!" Replied Throbulator, stopping the cheer mid-lift.

"URrGHh!" Replied Tak, turning around to go "patrol" on the other side of the soil-monster's wall.

"Hey, wait a minute! Tak, come back here!" Tallest Purple shouted as she walked by. "We've got something to say to you!"

Tak sighed, then returned, face still contorting angrily. She shook her antenna at some unseen message, but didn't say anything. 'I'll tell you when I can find out,' she thought to them psychically, but refrained from giving any indication verbally.

The Tallest looked at each other, but they knew that she wouldn't use her psychic abilities on them unless it was a true emergency; there wasn't any reason not to trust her. "That's fine, then." Tallest Purple replied, and ended the conversation.

"What are you guys talking about?" Asked Dib as he looked up at their little communication. Tak just glared at him and sent him a thought about minding his own business, while the Tallest changed the subject.

"Hey, everyone! It's time to make some soooap for us!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple, startling everybody. They apparently had heard him...which wasn't hard, but they tried their best to ignore him, anyhow...they just didn't want to have to do it.

"We SAID, we want everyone to LOOK LIVELY NOW, and to help us MAKE OUR SOAP!" Stated Tallest Red, startling everyone into more attentive states.

"Like _we_ helped you make yours!" Tallest Purple added, pointing over towards the three Earthlings.

"Yeah!" Tallest Red agreed.

"Alright~!" Replied Vick in annoyance. "But, what do we even _do_?!"

The two Tallest paused for a moment before someone answered the question. Tak was that someone.

"Don't worry, Sirs, I'll handle it." She stated, before turning to address the group.

"_Hey_! What about MY JOB, eh?!" Exclaimed Sploods, looking annoyed at her. "_I'll_ direct the group as to how to make it -you'll just be the hands!"

"Yes, Sir," replied Tak with a bit of annoyance. She really didn't want to get on his bad side right at this moment, or at any moment...! After all, she had to use this soap, too, you know!

After a horribly-long amount of time Sploods spent organizing and explaining, the soap was finally complete, and everyone was exhausted from the process: the explosions, too.

"I..." stated Tak, "Am _never_ gonna' look at soap-makers the same way again...!" She was leaning on the ground, breathing hard. The others were in very similar states, all with the exception of Tarky, who hadn't been too close to the explosions, and the Almighty Tallest, who were eating.

"Wow, thanks!" Replied Tallest Red, stuffing some more of those soft petal-looking things into his mouth.

"Yeah, we'repshoughphshrwrally owugh you one!" Tallest Purple also thanked them -with a full mouth.

"Whew! We can finally get rid of _your_ stink!" Vick replied a little snarkily, just making them glare at her. They avoided fighting about it and instead stuck to making more snide remarks in retaliation.

"Well, after all of that, _you two_ could use a little scrubbin'!" Tallest Purple remarked, staring her and Nessie down. Tallest Red took the things he was going to use for scrubbing and waited.

"What!?" Exclaimed Agent Nessie in annoyance. "Why's that, eh?!"

"_That's_ because _I_ wasn't working that pressurizer, runnin' it back and forth!" Replied Dib very simply. "I just didn't work up enough of a sweat."

Nessie glared at him, as if that was an affront, or perhaps he felt that he was betraying them. For the humans, being stinky and smelly went for all of them.

"Let's get goin' to that place Tak told us about -you know, the one with the dorp-seees doodles in the duddles?" Stated Sploods, who also was less sweaty because he'd been supervising and not exploded and everything. He pulled up a piece of cloth and said, "Tak, you can stand guard while we're over there; and I want Crystal there, with you!"

"_Some_one will have to stay here and guard the camp-site," Throbulator replied, "I guess that's going to be me!"

"Yeah..." there was a slight pause from Sploods and some silence. "That's why I didn't suggest you." There was even more silence and some un-cricket-chirping.

"Oh! Well, wha-uh, yeah..." Throbulator's confused response belied his feelings. That was embarrassing.

"Right! Then, uh... I'll see you later!" Replied Crystal awkwardly as she followed Tak out. The twin Tallests and their Advisor Sploods also followed them, whilest Tak waited for them before following behind.

"Finally! Whoo-whoo! I was wondering when we'd get some extra help!" Tallest Red's exclamation drifted on the wind as they faded into the jungle background -immediately. "You three can have the lift; we'll work on the scrubbin'-work!"

Those confusing words just added more to the confusion that would eventually follow.

Their cleansing-space just happened to be close enough, that some remarks would echo. This wouldn't have been as weird, if it weren't for the things that were said. "Hey, Purple-ohh'p, move over!" Came Tallest Purple's own voice; Tallest Red's was soon to follow.

"Can't you see he's still clam'perin'?!"

"That's not fair! It's getting right in my butt-point!" Tallest Purple whined, whilest he seemed to quiet down.

"Then, when the tophin-tantins?-" Tallest Purple's voice again was very echo-ey. Even Sploods' voice carried over.

"So, what?! What should I do with all this stuff?"

"Nyehuh, just jam it in there," Tak's voice was heard. "It won't budge 'er air."

"I can't! It's stuck!" Came Sploods' reply.

"Crystal, go do the outer-perimeter-ial." Tallest Red's commanding voice carried over, and she was probably saluting and saying, "Yes, Sir!", but they couldn't hear it. "Tak, you'll do the inner-perimeter-ial, but don't look too hard!"

"Yeah, we may need you!" Tallest Purple agreed. This just made things all the more awkward.

"Do...I...even WANNA' know what's happening?!" Asked Agent Nessie as the group listened with widened eyes and even wider ears to their echoing.

"No...we don't...!" Replied Vick morosely. She was getting used to the fact that most aliens had embarrassing things that they didn't wish to know, and this just made that all the more likely. "I think we should stop imagining."

"Gaz was _right_!... My imagination _is_ a curse...!" Dib moaned.

"Heh hee heh, I'm _so_ gonna' tease them whenever they get back!" Vrilly's reply made the two humans stop and think; their horrible imaginations had to slow to a halt before they finally understood what she was telling them.

"OOOoooOH! I am SO with you on that one!" Vick replied at length, shaking a fist.

After doing a sis-fist with her, they looked up at Dib, who still had an awful look on his face. "Too...much...! Imagination...!" He managed to get out, moaning. It looked like he was in pain.

"I CAN'T HELP IT! I'M TOO INTERESTED!" Suddenly he jumped up, screaming and grabbing his head.

"Oooohhh-kaaay, like _that_ wasn't awkward..." Agent Nessie muttered, more to himself, but also trying to remind Dib that he hadn't wanted that whole, "psychic-link" thing mentioned... At the very least, he had to try to pretend that he cared enough to keep it a secret until Dib decided to tell them himself.

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT! IT'S STILL A CURSE!" Explained Dib, still in head-grabbing shout-mode.

A sound was heard to echo off the thick foliage...

"SO'S YOUR CURIOOOSITY!"

The Almighty Tallest turned to look at her. "What? In the heck are you talking about!?" Asked Sploods in annoyed confuzzlement. Strange, that.

"What? He's the one who shouted!" Replied Tak easily. "Fuzz-head's just not used to keeping his own mouth shut!"

"You're gonna' need to put something stronger than that tree-stuff on his mouth," Crystal mentioned from her place guarding the perimeter, glancing over just for a minute to look at Tak before turning back. She also seemed to think that Tak had done it.

"Hah hah HAH!" Stated Tak. "Seriously, I _won't_ tell you who did that with the tree-bark; and no, we can't repeat it. He's too primed for another attack like that."

"Dib..." Started Vick, "Will you please just shut up and sit down?!" As she glared at him, Dib almost felt that he was under the watchful eye of one of his aunts or other female relatives; and he sat down, quieting, feeling odd about it.

The others smirked, but kept their thoughts to themselves. Clasps suddenly found something very interesting to see with the cuddly-little bugs in the leaf-litter that had scattered across the floor of their soil-monster's skeleton camp-site. Starky didn't seem interested at all, thinking about all the mold growing in his pockets, and Throbulator hummed quietly to himself. Vrilly had joined Clasps in observing the cuddly-bugs, as well as Agent Nessie's observance of the "cuddly-bug" right there in front of him. "Cuddly-bug", A.K.A. Dib, had to avert his eyes as he felt Nessie's intense gaze on him.

"Finally! Sheesh! What's gotten WITH you, today!? Can't you STOP ticking Tak-" Vick's final say was drowned out by yet another echoing comment, floating through the jungle.

"ExplOSIVE ROSES!" Came the sound of Crystal's voice, making even Throbulator, who wasn't drinking anything, do a spit-take. The laughter coming after that was, for some reason, also explosive.

"OH- Oh, my-!" Dib guffawed and grabbed his head. It just wasn't worth trying to hold it in any longer.

"THIS was worth ANY of that TROUBLE we went through BEFORE!" Vick laughed hysterically.

"I _don't_ need to know!" Laughed Throbulator, "When Crystal gets back; I don't need to know what she was protecting them against~!"

"There's no more MOUSSERS!" Crystal's voice came floating over the foliage once more. They once again burst into giggles.

"That's not the right one," Sploods' voice carried some.

"Then let's get this done!" Tallest Red's voice carried over more. "And get it over with!"

There were a few moments of silence before they heard Tallest Purple's voice, "And with a SPOON!"

"Oh, don't be silly: he wouldn't have fit in one!" Tallest Red's reply sent them into a fit of giggles, "I mean, where's the pile of puckets?!"

"Whose short is shirts?" A while after the last one, Sploods' voice sent them into confused snickers, as they all tried to figure out what it had meant; and their imaginations were very...imaginative.

They returned to the camp, only to find every one of the awake group giggling and eyeing them with amused, suggestive eyes.

"Uhhm...is that what I think it i-" Tallest Red was cut off as Tak just shook her head with a sigh. Sploods looked disgusted and put-upon, whilest he rolled his eyes. Tallest Purple was also rolling his eyes, but just looked freaked out a bit.

"Yes, Sir, yes it is," Tak's reply as she held her head in her hand was all that was needed to inform them of what had happened. Well, that, and, Tallest Red.

"Oh, GREAT! *Mumble grumble* We weren't FAR enough!" Was what he surmised after a moment of contemplating.

The other Tallest, Purple, had figured it out long beforehand, and stated, "NO, DUH!" Before grabbing one of the small "towels" they'd woven from Sploods and wiping his hand with it. Then he proceeded to start rolling it up.

The others in the group had to stop giggling in order to flee with appropriate swiftness.

* * *

"Whell!" Came the sound of Vrilly's voice, "It looks like the Irkens are all cleaned up!" She'd taken to summarizing their situation once more, but no one seemed to mind it. That had originally been Ploopoh's job. No, wait, whose was it?

"Except for Tak!" Tallest Purple motioned, waving his towel around while he did it.

"Yes, I wasn't able to clean myself, I was too busy guarding them." Tak replied easily.

"Take yourself out there and do it, then!" Agent Nessie stated, wondering why she couldn't take care of herself. Tak glared at his apparent lack of concern; he didn't seem to get the "group" concept.

"Riiight!" Tak replied, taking some cleaning supplies to go clean herself. Crystal chimed in.

"Oh! Do you need anyone to help stand guard while you're at it?" She asked.

"*Sigh* Of course not: it'll make no sense for both of us to go," Tak replied, then stepped out into the jungle.

"Yeeesh," commented Vick when she was gone, "Why is she like that?!"

"Don't ask me," replied Agent Nessie, "Who knows?" He looked straight at Dib, staring at him as if he expected him to know the answer. Of course, he knew that wasn't so.

"THROBULATOR thinks it's something unimportant;" his reply was quite astonishing. "That, I mean, she probably doesn't want us to know." His voice trailed off quietly, almost like he hadn't wanted to mention it. Like it was disloyal to even say that.

"I dunno; she must be upset about something;" Crystal's only reply was a great comment on that point. And not so well-taken by the Tallest...who changed the subject.

"Hey..." came Purple's voice, "I think Tak left something here!"

"O-h-OH! Yeah!" Sploods agreed shortly after this. The Earthlings were still busy contemplating the previous conversation.

"That's not a good thack!" Nessie's comment was preceded by Dib's comments about how irritated she'd been before she left, and especially when they went time-traveling.

"You should know, you've been working together, right?" Vick asked.

"Well, heh," Dib had started, before Tallest Red got their attention. Tallest Purple held up something to get their attention.

"Hey! We need someone to take her a soap!" Tallest Red stated; too loud. "Who here wants to find out where she went?!"

"I, uh!" Started Vick, before she realized that she was woefully inadequate. "I volunteer someone else!" The others pouted.

"I don't know...but I bet Dib could find it!" Agent Nessie's grin spread to both sides of his mouth.

"I hate you _so_ _much_ right now," Dib mumbled, standing. "Alright: I'll go."

Vick had been looking at the Tallest, and realized what was going on...or so she thought. She gave them a quick wink.

"What? But,-" the looks Crystal was receiving from the Tallest told her to keep her mouth shut. Throbulator didn't even try it.

"Thanks!" The Tallest said, handing him the soap. He mumbled and walked into the jungle, the way Tak had gone.

"Ooohhh-kaaayyy..." Stated Nessie, somewhat hoping that he could see what effects this would have.

"Why did you send him out?" Asked Throbulator.

"Ohhh...you'll see...!" Tallest Purple snickered into his metal arm-protecting glove, fingers exposed and furled.

* * *

Dib stomped through the jungle, muttering about how Nessie had betrayed him and why in the heck he'd have to go out to give Tak some soap.

"Taaa-aaaak!?" He called, looking around. After a couple of seconds, he stumbled across the small clearing she'd found for herself. She hadn't gone far. This was hardly a minute away from the camp, but it wasn't easy to spot.

He blinked as he stared, completely shocked, at the sight before him. Then ran, screaming apologies the whole time.

"Aaarrrgeee!" Moaned Tak, fully cognizant of the Almighty Tallests' prank. "Of COURSE...! I'd have to deal with _him_...about THIS...!"

Before stalking off to try and round him up.

Meanwhile, at the camp-site...

The rest of the group were laughing their butts off.

"I-I can't believe you got him to-to-!" Vick laughed, contorting into a roll.

"I'd love to see that look on his face!" Nessie rolled around with laughter, equally-contorted.

"I-I know! I-I-!" Vrilly couldn't even finish her sentence as she also fell on the ground, laughing.

"Wha-hah!" Tallest Red's laugh was heard loud above the others', "We'll be able to taunt 'im with this for years to come!"

Back with the cleaners...

Tak grabbed Dib by the coat and dragged him back to the place where she'd been cleaning herself. He'd been running around in awkward circles, drawing all kinds of native flora and fauna's attention to himself. She'd finally caught up to him with the help of her spider-legs and a few lasers, and he'd continued running and screaming, despite the fact that his legs weren't even touching the ground anymore.

"DIIIB!" She finally shouted, both mentally and physically. Then, a little quietly, "Will you just SHUT-UP and LOOK AT ME!"

Dib had his arms over his eyes, still apologizing. He'd finally stopped at her shouting, then lowered his arms, carefully.

Her completely unclothed form was right in front of him, arms akimbo, staring at him. "There's NOTHING to SEE!" She stated, enunciating clearly.

"...Guh...!" Was all Dib could think to say. "..." There was even more silence as his mind tried to comprehend the facts. "..."

The plain facts were right there, for all to see. "There! You get it, now?!" Then she informed him mentally, 'There's no embarrassing organs for show! Those are hidden, and besides; I'm sterile!'

"...Wha?!..." Was all Dib could think to say. 'Huh-huh?!' His mind was also just as eloquent.

'The Tallest were just playing a trick on you! And, some of the others: you were _duped_!' Tak continued to him mentally, then sighed and crossed her arms at him. "Now, are we done?" The look on his face told her that they probably weren't, but she didn't care much. "And by the way, where's that soap the Tallest gave you?" Dib's face flopped around as he tried to figure that out.

"...Uohm...uh...ohmp..." He felt around his torso, "...Uhhm...oh, uhh...uhhhm!..." His hands were looking for something which his mind hadn't processed yet.

"I wanna' get back and hurry up to watch the group razz you," She stated as she turned around to find her cleaning things. Dib's face promptly met with the jungle floor.

Laughing about Dib's embarrassment wasn't half as fun as it was torturing him about it when they got back to camp.

* * *

END CHAPTER 7

* * *

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Not much to say about the rest of it, except for the fact that...I'm going to effectively embarrass these male characters, -including Tarky- even if it takes all day!

(And you have NO idea how hard it was embarrassing the Irken males when I'd already had my own "MY IZ Universe" idea that they wouldn't even care if they were naked in front of everyone. I just kept it a secret because I'd realized that it would reveal whether or not there's actually Tallest in their uniforms, and I also thought that that might be something the Irken government would want kept secret!) So, I finally settled on their embarrassment by the other aliens' imaginations! *Snickers* Poor, poor Tak! She's had to know it all! (Of course, she tried to block it out.)

As for Tak's cleaning scene, I'd originally planned to include it in PSYCH-OUT!, (a funny scene I'd had in my head for a long time, dunno if it was before the story or not, of Dib freaking out seeing Tak naked.) It was supposed to be set in Dib's house, and Tak was for some reason staying with them and had to clean herself in the upstairs bathroom. He freaks out and runs scream/apologizing into his room, where she comes in and finally reveals herself. It was funny and hilarious, but for some reason, no matter how much I finagled, I STILL couldn't get that situation to happen! I still wish I could've included it in PSYCH-OUT!, but I think it works well here, too.

Now, I think all that's left to say here, is...onwarrrrd, TO THE NEXT CHAPTER! ...That hasn't been written up yet, but I'm starting to!


	8. No Time, Not the Toes!

DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING! Or stuff...whatever!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: And now, for something completely different...

* * *

**CHAPTER 8: No time like the toe time~!**

* * *

Tak came dragging the conked-out Dib back to the camp-site, glaring evenly from one to the other. She didn't like having to take responsibility and deal with him after their joke. Dib gradually awoke, feeling the sharp stings from another source -pointed sticks that Vick, Throbulator, and Nessie were jabbing into him. She said, "I almost left him there; if it weren't for your 'group' orders," to the Almighty Tallest.

Since she'd given her spare set of clothes to Sploods, she was wearing the clothes she'd crafted for herself.

As Tarky, Throbulator, Vick, Crystal, Nessie, and Starky picked on Dib about his shocking revelation, -the Tallest joined in, too- Tak gave her leaders a look that said, "I'm going to have to hurt him sometime soon".

The Tallest hadn't finished making their own spare set, so they had to wear their same outfits. And they knew they'd all have to clean their clothes eventually. Unfortunately, this wasn't as easy for them as it was for the Earthlings. They couldn't use the same process for cleaning their clothes as they did for cleaning their bodies, and so they were stuck until they could find an adequate process that they could use from this planet's flora, fauna, or, uh...rock.

Which is why, when they saw her in her new outfit, they remembered their collective plights of cleansing: and promptly changed the subject.

"Heya, Tak! Why don't you, uh...! Try to find out what we can use to clean our clothes with...!" Tallest Purple's comment shook her out of her own painful thoughts on Dib's destruction, and hopefully focused them on much more productive ones.

"Yeah, I'd love to get my _own_ clothes clean -yours are still too small for me!" Sploods stated, just to rub salt into the wounds. She was, of course, just one inch shorter than he was; but he was still taller. And, like any self-respecting Irken, he liked it that way. She was just glaring over at him, thinking about horrible things, when Tallest Red spoke up.

"There's some of those vents that give off some sort of gaseous stuff."

"You mean like steam?" Vick also spoke up. They'd had conversations about whether or not those were steam-vents, but since Tak hadn't been around to scan them, they were all just conjecture.

"Or the gasses of the ombomilomph!" Tallest Purple pointed out. It was a purplish-gooish-clearish-liquid, that, whenever it was cooled to within -82 degrees Fahrenheit, it turned into gas, sort-of like steam. They hadn't wanted to get too close in order to inspect whether or not it was cold, though, because it seemed that everything on this planet liked to kill them.

"That, and, you said you'd seen some rum-rumba-rumbamub in the caverns inside of that sentient mountain-" Tallest Red pointed out.

"Imptss!" Vick felt like pointing out once again. "Her name was Imptss!" She, and everyone else, felt that it was important NOT to get on their neighboring sentient mountain's bad-side, and they were right!

"_Her_ is improper, because the sentient mountain isn't EITHER male OR female!" Tallest Red glared over at her, as if to say that she was just that close to his ordering Tak to silence her.

"That's _stupid_, since your language doesn't even have a neutral-gendered _pronoun_!" Tallest Purple added to his fellow Tallests' argument.

"What_ever_! Just use the right name!" Vick stated, "We don't want to get on her -er, THEIR- bad-side!"

"Okay, but I'm not going," said Throbulator. "It's too be*mumble grumble*..." he trailed off, looking down.

"Why not just send Tak?" Asked Vick, "I mean, after all, she has the scanner!"

"FINE! I'll _go_ and investigate if you want me to!" Tak finally exclaimed. The thoughts of the others in the group were initially shocked, but started to turn towards pranking Dib once more. Tak nipped them in the butts. "But _this_ time, DON'T send Dib!" Then she said, more quietly, "Or he _won't_ be coming back with _any_ consciousness!"

"But it would make the perfect mission~!" Agent Nessie remarked with a bit of a mischievous smirk.

Tak seemed to appear to have flames spreading out around her. Nessie instantly regretted his decision to make an annoying comment. All the attention suddenly seemed to be on her, and it felt very cold. Probably because they were all sweating. Which is funny: 'cause there was no actual fire, and not everybody was awake, nor did everyone's skin contain sweat-glands.

Tallest Purple just sighed and stated, "Please, Tak, just calm down."

Vick spoke up, "Yeah, what's the beef? We thought you'd enjoy pranking Dib!" Then, "Man, now I want _meat_! *Moans*" The moment of impending terror was now broken, as other, more pressing matters were at hand.

Nessie pouted and then covered his head with his hand, "OoohhH! I was trying not to think of it!"

"*Sigh* I wonder if any of these alien creatures would be good for meat?" Dib moaned as well, forgetting his previous panic. Vick soon jumped up screaming.

"NO CHOCOLATE AND _NO_ MEAT!" She yelled, "WHAT'S _WRONG_ WITH THIS PLACE?!"

The aliens blinked a little bit, looking from one to the other, before one of the Tallest finally spoke up.

"Well, this explains why Zim was covered from head to foot in meat," Tallest Red stated.

"_What_!?" Asked the rest of the conscious group, along with some curious alien creatures.

"_No_," Dib snickered to himself, remembering the day he'd showed up in class like that, "It doesn't!"

Tak just asked the Tallest -and Dib- looking from one to the others, "What exactly are you talking about?" Sure, she'd heard the rumors passed around by others, talking about the kinds of insane calls the Tallest would receive from Zim. It's just that...he usually didn't _want_ to die.

"Well," Tallest Red started. Dib started to say something, but Vick shushed him. "You see-" this was hard to talk about without laughing, "Th-this one tuh-time!" He had to stop to laugh. "This one time, Zim called us up, and-*snickers*-he was covered! From head to foot! In MEAT!" Laughs were heard around the group.

"Hey! I, I wonder what happened that made h-him think that was a smart idea?!" Asked Tallest Purple, looking expectantly at Dib.

After he'd almost finished giggling, Dib tried to respond, only to elapse into another fit. He finally stated, "Psh! I don't know!" He snickered again, then said, "I tried to ask him; but he only said -huplhf!- something about germ-wars or geraniums or some-hee hee heeeh!" He couldn't resist giggling yet again.

"Wh-what?!" Laughed Vick.

"You know, last time I heard, meat doesn't repel _flowers_!" Nessie added his two cents in before laughing.

"I don't think I want to _try_ and figure that out," Tak added, before eventually smirking. 'Or even think about trying to read his mind to find out about it!'

"Wh-what about the germs?!" Laughed Starky.

"I can't imagine why GERMS wouldn't have been attracted to _MEAT_!" Exclaimed Throbulator, laughing.

"G-g-germs!" Laughed Dib, doubled-over in pure laughing-fit.

"But THAT'S not the funny part!" Tallest Red added, still snickering. "It-it was afterwards!" But that was all he said until he'd finished laughing.

"The-the meat ended up fusing to his flesh, and he almost went blind! When it invaded-ed h-his eye-sockets!" Tallest Purple continued laughing. "It was the funniest! It was the funniest! It was the most _hysterical_ thing that he's done!"

"No! Wait, wait, wait! That's not it! I was -*Snickers*- It was the time he was almost devoured by those Easter-shrimp!" Tallest Red corrected him.

"No, no! That was-that-that!" Whatever he was trying to regale them with, Tallest Purple was unable to finish his sentence as he laughed hysterically.

"Oh, wait, wait! We TOTALLY forgot about that "swimming" incident!" Exclaimed Tallest Red, suddenly. Then, "You-*snicker*-you know the one~!"

Dib, who'd still been laughing, rolled on the ground now. "Th-that was-! Hee hee!"

Even Tak was laughing along with it, and she finally said, "I've got the video, if anybody wants to see it!"

"WOW! A VIDEO!" Screamed Vick, totally snapping out of whatever cell-phone-less agony she'd once been in previously. Everyone shushed her, just in case she provoked the wrath of their floaty-blue neighbors. "What?!" She asked, not understanding the shushing.

"W-we have one, too!" Tallest Red replied, as Purple tried his hardest to stop laughing.

"And I have it, too! ...In fact, I think it might have gone viral on the internet!..." Paused Sploods, rubbing the back of his head with a sweat-drop running down the side of it. But, apparently, the Almighty Tallest didn't care about that.

"We, we should show it!" Tallest Purple finally managed to get a word out. "'Come on, Tak! Show 'em!"

"Wait, why can't _you_ show us?" Asked Vick. She'd finally stopped laughing.

"We-we're laughing too hard!" Exclaimed Tallest Purple.

Tak had stopped laughing long enough to pull up the video on her screen. Then she turned it around to show everybody, and they all scooched closer as she turned up the volume.

{"Hey, Dib! Make sure you leave the stuff-*kids cheering and screaming*-so the umbrella-*more screaming*-doesn't." The voice of some boy came over the speakers. They were leaving a school-bus, and Dib was seen from behind, just getting off and being subjected to the "camel treatment".

After tossing everyone else's stuff onto the ground, he took his own and walked off towards the beach. The brilliant sun was shining, and the sound of Ms. Bitters' bemoaning of their enjoyable plight soon reached the speakers. Apparently, this was all seen from Tak's point-of-view. Along with commentary: "Greetings, fellow watchers, and welcome to another installment on this, our field-trip day... Just kidding." She'd made some joke pertaining to a popular alien show, which said aliens snickered appreciably at.

"The Teacher had planned for this trip to be on a day with horrible weather..." Another look at the sparkling blue and gray ocean with white sands -strewn with trash- and beautiful blue skies. "Of course, the weatherman was wrong. Don't know why they even try. Anyways, let's get to the fun, shall we?"}

Tallests Red and Purple gave a look to each other, but still watched, snickering into their fingers.

{There was a scene-change, and now the camera showed that they -ie Tak- was sitting on a beach-towel underneath an umbrella. Dib was a few feet in front, grinning and looking eagerly at what Zim was doing, before he pointed. Tak waved a hologrammed hand at him, in a way that suggested she was dismissing him. He ran off. She continued the voice-over.

"Of course, we've been eagerly anticipating this trip... If all went well, it would be hilarious and effective."

Eventually, she'd gotten up into a better position to view the proceedings. Dib was taunting Zim, telling him how alien it was that he was too afraid to get into the water. While Zim's annoying rebuttals raised above the cacophonous child-din, he was eventually lured towards the water. Dib tossed a gray, purple, black, and white beach-ball at his head and it hit, causing Zim to react angrily as he snatched it from the surface of the waves. He threw it back, barely landing a foot away from his target, Dib.

"If not, it would still be good for a laugh."

Dib laughed at Zim's bad throw before popping the ball over to some other kid, moving back further into the water.

"It was a while before the actual event took place, of course. As you may already know, Zim had that layer of paste that fused with his skin,"}

Everyone watching made a disgusted face at that.

{"...and he coats himself in a fresh coat each morning."}

More grossed-out faces.

{"You may also be aware of how much of this 'water' substance is on this planet, covering approximately 70% of its surface. But there is an interesting difference in the largest bodies of water which cover it." There was a fast-forward, showing Dib and Zim randomly playing and obviously insulting each other -but that's a given at any point in time- along with the other kids. Tak's voice-over commentary continued over the fast-forward: "Most of the largest bodies of water on this planet contain salt. When this salinity is combined with the other pollutants in the water, it causes erosion and dissolution of many things, including, but not limited to, sun-screen, eyeballs, certain types of fungus, and paste."

Eventually, Zim jumped up from the water, steaming and screaming in unison. He bounced the ball up one more time before running to the shore. He writhed around in horrible pain as the kids and everyone else watched on in wonder.

Then Zim was seen to flop down on the sand, only this didn't quite work the way he wanted it to. "AAAHHHH! THE HORRIBBLE PAIIIIIINNNNNBBBB!" He screamed as the sand scraped his skin painfully. The other kids nearby just stared in wonder, whilest Ms. Bitters croaked about having to call 911.

"We're_ not_ paying you any compensation for being hospitalized due to your own stupidity!" Ms. Bitters informed him from underneath her darkened umbrella.

Five dark-suited attendants stood nearby her. There was a dark sheer around it hanging from the umbrella, and you could just barely see her, talking on a phone. The black hood she was wearing obscured whatever she looked like, and somehow, you could just tell that there had to be an air-conditioner humming under her umbrella. It didn't even appear that her feet were touching the ground, since you couldn't see them. It was a very odd thing to look at.

"Unfortunately, before the paramedics could arrive, Zim's robot, GIR, and those awful Robot Parents he'd made came and got him; it was a rare sight, indeed. I'm still not sure whether to laugh or to sigh." There was pause in Tak's commentary as they all watched the sight unfold before them.

Zim's robot parents came riding up on a four-wheeler gyro, complete with almonds and only two wheels, dragging a half-costumed GIR along behind. (Yes, like the sandwich!) Apparently, no one noticed. The absurdity only continued as GIR flew off to Zim, yanking him up by the back of his shorts in a really painful wedgie, and then zoomed off again; but not before Ms. Bitters got Zim's robot parents to sign something.

The sound of "DOOOOKIIIIIIIEEEE!" along with Zim's screaming echoed through the air as the Robo-parents' four-wheeler-gyro was pulled away, up into the sky...!

The kids, by then, were glaring over at Dib, who was trying to convince them that Zim's burning skin and robots dressed as dogs weren't normal.

"But, all's well that ends well..." Was Tak's closing statement.}

"Unfortunately, not for Dib," Added Tak after the movie was over.

Everyone laughed and giggled, even though Dib was still kind-of ticked that Tak was poking fun at him. "Phuohh! Hee hee hee! That's -Oh, man! I wish you'd make up videos all the time!" Laughed Nessie. "We-we'd all get a great big kick out of these!"

"We-we even might con-consider sending you some help...!" Laughed Vick, "Or something!"

"Hah hah, well, we don't usually work for the _entertainment_ value, you know!" Dib pouted and glared at his two fellow Swollen Eyeball agents. "We're TRYING to catch a _deranged_ alien criminal, if you get my drift!"

"Aaawww...!" Moaned Vick, "But, you're so _good_ at it!" Before bursting into laughter once again.

"You're so- so photogenic!" Laughed Nessie, holding his stomach.

"Gggrrr!" Dib glared before exclaiming, "I'm _NOT HERE_ FOR YOUR _ENTERTAINMENT_!" The fourth-wall cleared its throat.

A cough was un-heard by the three-wall characters.

"Aaanyways, that was only a treat for the Tallest, since we'd been unsuccessful so far in our attacks on Zim." Tak explained, then turned away, somewhat sadly, and put the screen back in her PAK.

"Hey, guys! I just had this weird idea...! What if, we're all pieces of cheese, on the giant pizza of the universe, along with mushrooms and olives, and garlic, and the occasional pepperoni?!" Agent Nessie suddenly spoke up, shocking all of them with such a bizarre idea, that they considered whether or not he'd been eating psychotropic plants or something...honestly, who ever heard of only the _occasional_ pepperoni?! He needed to scan things before eating them! "And Zim is the anchovy!"

"*Achem* Okay, well, it looks like you humans don't do well without meat, so, let's just get you guys out there so you can find something to eat!" Tak stated as she and the others looked around awkwardly. "I can scan things, so I'll go with you."

"Oh, _great_! Thanks a LOT! You're making me crave PIZZA, now!" Vick exclaimed, then sighed.

"I honestly like the little salt-blocks on mine..." Crystal commented.

"Well, anchovies are okay... But there has to be _plenty_ of garlic!" Nessie replied.

"Yeah, my sister only lets me have the left-overs of her pizza if there's anchovies or something on it." Dib mentioned, looking slightly thoughtful. "I'm not too big on other things, but pepperoni or Latinian sausage is great!" _(A/N: "Latinian" is "Italian".)_

"Mmm...!" Said Vrilly, "Latinian sausage!..."

"I want a green slurp-slup with spicies sauce, and everything on it!" Sploods spoke up. The other Irkens looked from one to the other, licking their lips.

"Yeah, except for those icker-iolops," Tak stated, still licking her lips.

"THROBULATOR! Likes EXSPLODING Vort-nun Ions!" Throbulator finally spoke up, though he was usually quiet.

"And I want a resparck and Vort-nun Ions! NOTHING but green slurp-slup sauce and resparck and Vort-nun Ions!" Starky spoke up, pointing a finger and licking his lips.

"What about the capers?" Nessie was saying to Dib.

"Well, I like the Carbini-dools." Clasps mentioned, somewhat shyly.

"Whoah! Looks like you finally woke up!" Throbulator pointed out.

"And somebody'd better get Clasps the blob-woman something to eat while you're out there, she's been asleep to conserve energy waaaayyy too often!" Tallest Purple pointed to her over Tallest Red as he ordered, bringing the group back to their original problem. No one seemed to notice that pizza was a universal food-item... _(A/N: It just had to be done~!)_

"Well...! Who wants to go out and risk their lives getting something to eat?!" Asked Tak somewhat sarcastically, since she knew that was just the inevitable for anything they were trying to accomplish: even quietly chattering, here on this planet!

"Well, I'll go: I can at least do something! Some of it's _my_ meat!" Dib commented, dusting himself off before standing up.

"WHAT!?" Exclaimed almost all of the others assembled.

"What? I helped out before! I found the Food Group!" Dib stated, then he caught the glare of Tak and added, "With Lasch-mik and Tarky's help..."

"Which didn't exactly help, you know," Crystal added.

"That head of yours can attract more danger to it than we can possibly handle! It'd be best if you don't go..." Throbulator added his two-cents in.

"What?! Well, it all worked out, either way!" Dib pouted, crossing his arms.

"That's not exactly a good plan, you know." Tallest Red told him. "You're basing all of this on the fact that you escaped the last time by the skin of your teeth!"

"Hey! _I_ know...!" Tak stated, her mouth breaking into a Cheshire-like grin. "Why not use his head as a _distraction_ to direct all the attacks towards _it_, while _we_ focus on hunting?" That was basically how their plans had usually gone, back when they were on Earth; but the hard part was introducing the idea to the rest of them.

The Tallest both gave her an interesting look with an invisible eye-brow-raise. Sploods out-did them all, as his forehead seemed to jut out anyhow. They all stared for a moment, before someone else spoke.

"Wait, what?!" Asked Vick in exasperation.

"You...want us to use him as a target for dangerous alien beasts while we go hunting?!" Asked Nessie, holding his head. "But, he's just a kid!" The same old idea, presented in a different way, still didn't fly very well with them.

"Whatever, I've done stuff like that before!" Dib stated, waving his hand at Nessie and Vick. "Compared to fighting against Zim? Psh! This is nothin'!"

There was silence as everyone stared at him.

"We've used this plan of diversion and attack many times before," Tak added, "And he's still alive and making me want to kick 'im!"

"Just what _is_ it with you and torturing me recently?!" Dib asked, looking over at her before looking over at the rest of the group. The Almighty Tallest just looked around and whistled nonchalantly, twiddling their fingers in place of non-existent thumbs. And Sploods found something really interesting to look at on his shoes.

"Yeah, well..._any_one who can survive going up against Zim as long as he has is tough enough in my book," Throbulator commented, staring warily at him. "Either that, er, through some strange coincidence, you're just a crazy alien shadow-monster!"

"Nah, I'm just a caterpillar-boy!" Dib commented with a wave of his hand. There was even more silence.

"Pshhth! What? What's a Caterpillar-boy? What country is that in...! Wait, as in...MOTH caterpillar?!" Agent Nessie stared, shocked, and started laughing a little, but Vick just stared at him.

"What? What do you mean?..." Trailed off Vick as she stared at the two of them.

"You mean, in a little while, you really_ will_ be Agent MOTHMAN?!" Laughed Nessie.

Vick stared and realization gradually dawned on her face. "Oooohhh! That makes...an...interesting...no, wait! Is there anything...we might want to know...?" She asked, "You know, just in case...?"

Dib blinked. "Well...not really...! I don't think...!" He stated as he looked upwards.

The Tallest and Sploods tossed a glance at Tak and she caught it, glaring the Earthlings down. "Hey! We've already wasted enough time talking about this! Let's all choose our weapons so we can get to huntin'!" As the Swollen Eyeballs moaned about not finding out about mothmen, Vrilly spoke up as she handed them all some cloth for holding stuff or something.

"Geeze, Tak! Lighten up! It's just they're curious and all!"

Tak sighed and put a hand to her forehead to stop the impending headache which was coming on. She knew that she couldn't exactly explain her impatience to them without revealing anything about his metamorphosis. "I know...! I know...!" They just wouldn't let it go.

"So, what's it like?" Asked Vick as she sorted through her choice in weapons.

"Nothing much, I guess. I mean, I have some sharper instincts than most people;" Dib said as he examined some stringy-net before tossing it.

"Nothing...unusual?" Asked Agent Nessie, examining some larger-than-head-sized blue-petaled flowers.

"No...my DNA is exactly the same as a normal human's...something about camouflage or something. At least, until my metamorphosis." Dib stated calmly.

"Wait, wait, what kind of metamorphosis?" Asked Vick. "You mean, like, a _cocoon_?"

"Yep! Well, I AM a _moth_man...!" Replied Dib easily.

"Wait a minute, where do mothmen come from?" Asked Vick. "I mean, I've always heard it was from an escaped laboratory experiment...!"

"But what about that theory from Brussul?!" Asked Agent Nessie. "That one sounds pretty-"

"ACTUALLY!" Dib interrupted them, "I already know! And...yeah, it was a laboratory experiment, like Vick said. Only, it wasn't actually an _escaped_ one...!" They looked at him with raised eye-brows and eye-ridges, before he explained.

When he was done, they all sat there, thinking with their hands on their chins. It would've been fun to see if you didn't know what was going on. But, since we do...it's just creepy-surreal.

"That's interesting...!" Vick stated. "But, wait! What kind of mothman will_ you_ become?"

"Alypia oculusmagnus. The, uh...Big-eye Moth." Dib almost mumbled. He felt a little embarrassed, just in case any of them knew about that type of moth. He hadn't mentioned anything about his own type, like finding a mate before his metamorphosis, or how Tak had been inside his mind when he'd discovered all of that. He just wanted to climb back inside his jacket and hide...or, maybe inside the soil-monster...! Not while it was alive, though. "It's, uh...black and blue with gray and black eye-spots."

"Woooaaahhh...!" Said Vrilly, "Sounds pretty-cool!"

"So, why do mothmen show up before a disaster happens?!" Asked Agent Nessie. "I mean, is it like, an extra-sense?!"

"No," Dib twisted his mouth, "We're just more observant than other people...! I think one of the scientists described it as a typical 'Watchman' type thing...!"

"With the big eyes?!" Snickered Vrilly.

"No...! *Sigh* Since we have the instincts of moths, which need to be wary of predators and obstacles at all times, we tend to notice when something's _abnormal_! I'm already observant, since my dad's Professor Membrane, who taught me scientific principles before I could even speak! I'm not _dumb_! So, whenever I notice something, I think, 'Hey! This is important!' But, people don't seem to notice stuff if _I'm_ the one pointing it out to them!" Dib's rant ended, leaving some of them feeling sorry for both him and his people. Agent Nessie and Vick seemed to agree with him.

"I know the feeling!" Nessie stated, "It's like no one wants to _think_ if it's going to inconvenience them!"

"Psshhph! Forget that! What about the _school_-system?! The kids aren't even taught to think about things logically -let alone abstract thoughts! Whatever happened to REAL education?!" Asked Vick with annoyance.

"Psh! Whatever happened to PARENTS teaching their CHILDREN?!" Asked Agent Nessie in even more annoyance. "It's like the school is a _giant_ day-care or something!"

"*Laughs* Yeah! I know, right?!" Vick commented, before adding, "That, and, plus! The government doesn't _want_ us to think for ourselves! They want us to be much stupider, so that we can be controlled!"

The aliens around them looked appalled.

"PSHPPTHPH! Everybody knows THAT!" Replied Nessie with a wave of his hand. "Er, scratch that!" He added, scratching the side of his mouth, "everybody who's _smart_ enough knows!"

"And _what's with_ those teachers!?" Asked Vick, exclaiming with her hands in the air, "It's like they literally _feed_ off the misery of their students!"

"I'm pretty sure that's what Ms. Bitters does." Dib proffered, holding a finger up. "And, just for the record, _my family_ doesn't even know who or what kind of horrible, evil monster she is!"

That made everyone shiver a little.

"OKAY! That's the end of THAT little conversation," Tallest Red spoke up.

"You know, I'm starting to see why your dad has an educational science show!" Tallest Purple commented. "'Cause I mean, your people...!"

"What?" Asked Tallest Red, turning to Purple for an explanation.

"It's just SAD!"

"Well, we now officially have the pity of the leaders of probably the most powerful race in the galaxy, thanks a lot!" Stated Vick, then, waving her arm around in a faux-bow, "Thank-you, one and all, for your pity!"

"Well, now that that's talked about..." Tak stated, but Tallest Purple wasn't finished.

"You're welcome!"

The rest was just random chatter about pitying and whether or not it was a very useful tool for survival. They all agreed that it was necessary for the survival of the young of any species, even when you didn't necessarily find them "adorable". Then they also agreed that it was unnecessarily-pathetic for an adult.

THEN they finally got down to the task of getting ready for their hunt.

After they'd gotten their weapons ready, they did a quick run-down. "Well, is everyone ready?" Tak asked the group. They all nodded. "Good. Then, here's how it's gonna' go! I'm in the lead with the scanner: Dib stays by my side to divert danger towards himself. The others stay behind me, and always move as a group! The middle of the group will consist of Vick, Nessie, Starky, and Vrilly, with Throbulator on look-out for them. Since I'm scanning for food, I can't be on the look-out for both. We will try to stay as close to the camp-site as possible, but the chances of finding suitable food might not present themselves. We need to all be on the alert -any small movement, anything suspicious, any eyes poking out at you- don't hesitate to hop away as fast as you can! Seriously; a jerk could save you!"

Everyone snickered and giggled, but they all seemed to have gotten the point. "I wish to ensure that the rest of the group know about their weapons!" Throbulator spoke up.

Tak nodded, then addressed the group once more. "The weapons... I'm sure you all realize that good weapons are necessary to your survival. You have hand-assembled weapons which may or may not work against the aliens we encounter. Whatever the case, if your weapon does NOT work, RUN! No, really; it's no use trying to get it to work when it's clear that we're in danger! Run and hide for cover, but STAY TOGETHER: if you run away from the group, we won't be able to protect you. And only Dib is stupid enough to go back into that jungle to get you."

"HEY!"

"Any questions?" At Dib's exclamation, Tak had rolled her eyes, so now she had to roll them back around to look at them. "If you're worried about your weapons or something, then either pick something else, or stay here!"

They all mumbled various phrases about how ready they thought they'd be, and when that died down, Dib said something that just made them worry even more. "So, who here knows how to bleed, skin, and gut an animal? 'Cause I sure don't!...Though, there was that one class...!"

"...We should never, ever, bring him on our little excursions. Ever again." Vrilly commented to Vick, who simply nodded.

"Well, I don't think I can remember...I mean, we learned how to kill a cow, but, ah...the butcher -who was also the baker and the candle-stick maker- just took care of it, and I was just a kid...!" Nessie commented as he looked up.

"That being said, he makes a good point. I know how to do it; though, I doubt I'll know enough of these alien creatures' biology to make much use of it... That might be a job for the person with the scanner...and the lasers!" Throbulator pointed out, rubbing a scratch on the back of his head.

"*Sigh* Even though I was going to get to that point when we'd finally actually managed to kill something, you're right, there; I'll handle it." Tak replied, holding out a scanner. Then she looked around, "Is everyone ready? 'Cause if we wait around here any longer, the things we're hunting for might figure us out."

"What?..." Asked Vick, looking around and wondering what she could possibly have seen on her scanner.

Nessie had another question, which he raised his hand for. "Uh, I just had a thought: are we going to be hunting things which are sentient? I'm not really sure we've address this issue yet, and, uh-" The others just sighed in obvious aggravation as they stood up and started leaving camp.

"You'd better hurry up, 'Agent Nessie', or we're leaving without ya'!" Tak mumbled as she lead them into the jungle.

Nessie took the hint and ran after them.

They walked through the jungle, that final annoyance getting the best of them, so they didn't realize how far in they were until they were there. Which stands to reason: they were already in the middle of the jungle from the moment they'd landed on this planet, and even in their little soil-monster's-skeleton encampment, they were still in said jungle on said planet...so there was very little reason for them to not think about it, excepting what had just irritated them.

* * *

So, instead of following them, we're going back to Crystal and the Tallest! And Sploods.

"So...! Uh...!" Said Crystal, looking at them.

"Please, just go patrol the perimeter. Or something." Tallest Purple moaned.

"Yes, PLEASE... That'll be of the most help!" Sploods added his two-cents in, but mostly because he was irritated. With everything and everyone.

"...I can make rock-puppets." Was her only response.

There was silence as all three of them looked at her.

"We don't need a perimeter-patrol that bad." Tallest Red stated, before pointing to a spot in front of them.

They then proceeded to re-realize everything they'd ever come to know about puppets.

* * *

And...back with the hunters!

They'd travelled all of about two seconds before the end of that last scene, so we have no idea what or how the following could've happened.

Peppered with spots of some vibrant red stuff were Vick, Nessie, and Throbulator. Oddly, since Vrilly had been standing nearby, and only she remained un-peppered with spots.

Throbulator had his head inside of a plant that looked like a backwards-facing glove. So it literally looked like he was wearing a glove on one side of his head. They'd eventually gotten it off, but it had squirted Dib with some really nasty, noxious stuff that looked like it burned -a lot!

And then there was Vrilly, who, let's face it -looked like an anemone. She was covered with strange, long and wiggling, viridian-sandy-colored plant-looking-things, along with purple ones, which had seemed to take a liking to her. Huh!

Tak was completely unscathed, thanks to her close proximity with Dib's attention-grabbing head, but she was having a hard time getting these leaves off the bottom of her boots. It was odd.

That being said, none of them really wondered when Agent Nessie said that he wasn't getting any reception. They all just supposed he was delirious from whatever that red stuff was. Then they realized that Vick wasn't acting strangely, and...that just halted everyone. "That's what I said!" Nessie stated, once again, as everyone turned to look at him.

"This is...getting disturbing..." Both Dib and Throbulator said at exactly the same time, and they had to glance at each other before looking away to confirm that it was just that uncomfortable a moment. "Oh-kay...!"

Their awkward discomfort aside, Vick said something. "I'm getting a little bit worried...I've never seen his feet twist like this...!"

"I didn't even think humans' feet could twist like this," Tak admitted, still staring at him. Nessie's feet were, indeed, twisting at some odd angles as he put his fingers up his nose, and in his ears, and even tried to find Throbulator's ears. Vrilly was the first to say something.

"Well, I also didn't think he had such arms...!"

Tak and Vick stared at each other before Vick picked up one of his arms. "Hey, wait a minute! He's got wires!" It was then that they'd discovered Agent Nessie had been replaced with a meaty, sweaty replica, and-

"What!? Wait, hey! I'm still alive!" Nessie exclaimed, waving his arms around and hitting himself in the face. "Oufh!"

"Something's fishy...!" Stated Vrilly unhelpfully -as if they hadn't figured that out already!

"I...don't understand...!" Stated Dib.

"What?! That someone's using Nessie as a giant, meaty puppet?!" Exclaimed Vick, "Or, that someone's replaced him with an exact, sweaty, meaty replica giant puppet!?"

"...I...don't understand, because I don't see you." Dib was looking back and forth. "I think you've all just disappeared...!"

"I don't understand why you don't understand, because I've been explaining it all to you, and everyone else besides Vrilly seems not to understand! Hey, Throbulator! How many times have I told you, not to get his hand in your mouth?!" Tak explained, pointing at him.

"We're...finally in the Twilight Zone, aren't we?!" Asked Vrilly, then she added, "Because everything's looking all black-and-white old Science-fictioney!"

"There's not a single thing wrong with this reception -and this T.V. antenna totally doesn't fit your television!" Throbulator explained, like he was examining and fixing an old television.

"Wow...! I can hear them and they're all...!" Dib shook his head, then, "Tak...?!"

"Well, I don't know, stupid Agent Nessie won't even answer me, and I can't understand why you can't see anyone!" Tak replied in irritation. Dib just face-palmed -or what he thought was his face, since he couldn't see his own arm or feel it- and then thought as loudly as he could to her.

'TAK!' He brain-shouted. She was startled as he reminded her of their psychic-link and of her own mental abilities. 'You've GOT to RELAX!' Then she pouted. In thought, of course. 'Look, I know, you're all so smart and angry at me, but seriously! You're freaking out, and we're in a weird situation!' The thought brought Tak out of her own skewed senses and back to the present circumstances.

'You're right, you're -iiirrrgh!- right!...' Tak thought in response. 'I'm...sorry. Iirruuugggrrrhhh!' The thought was just to remind him how irritating he was to her, but it wasn't the right time to keep fighting with him. There was something that was skewing around with their senses, and only Dib and her seemed to have an edge in this situation. No time like the toe time~!

"You're going to have to kill me for that, I know," Dib commented out loud, then, "I mean, I'm sorry!" He realized his old mistake and almost smacked himself for that. 'Point taken, I know I'm irritating.'

'I, uh... Whatever.' Tak responded to his odd, preemptive comment. 'In case you haven't noticed, what we have to look for is any contagion which could simultaneously skew all of our senses! The only thing I can think of is the obvious.'

'Uh..."the obvious" is...psychic?' Dib responded, before thinking, 'Well, it's pretty safe to say that we haven't come across this, yet! But, why is it affecting _me_ like it is everybody else?!' He looked around, but his eyes still failed to see everyone else. 'I'm not affected by psychic attacks!'

'Maybe it's an illusionary-field _created_ by a psychic?' Asked Tak, 'It would show you images -or non-images- as if they were really there! Smells and other senses could also be re-created, as well.'

'Like a mirage! Woah! But, wait, why create such a field? ...Unless...!' He caught onto her line of thought in shocking synergy and stated, 'Wait! That means SOMETHING WANTS TO EAT US!'

'Good work,' she almost added an insult onto this, but there was no need to add insults when they might need to fight. Together. Once more. 'Right, let's get this over with so I can go back to torturing you mercilessly again!' Dib just sweatdropped.

'Wonderful.' He thought, as he stared straight ahead. 'Let's track this guy down, first! What kind of minds do you sense?!'

'*Sigh* Nothing, yet. And I really thought I was on-guard through all this!' Tak thought as she searched. 'Maybe I was distracted?'

'Or, maybe it's not active until we've stumbled into its trap?' Dib thought. 'Wait! TRAP! That's it! Tak, why don't WE set up a TRAP!'

'What kind of a trap?' She asked, as she watched strange melting cinnamon-buns melt into Agent Nessie's head. 'It's not related to any sort of yeast-affected pastry, I hope?'

Dib just gave a strange look and almost laughed at her absurd humor. 'Riiight!... I'm not sure, but it'll probably try to keep us confused until it comes to claim us. Why don't we just -'

'Break out!' Tak shouted in their heads as she tried to break the illusion. The mirages wiggled a bit, but still didn't fade. 'Dang-it! I still can't find its head!'

'Hey, what if its brain isn't _in_ its head?! What if it's in its _ELBOW_!?' Dib thought, causing them to pause for a moment.

'...Huh. Good point. Well, I guess, maybe it could... No!' Tak also thought. There was silence...

'DIIIBBB! Stop getting us off-topic!' She exclaimed in their heads. Dib flinched a bit at her mental shout.

'Whoops! Sorry, sorry! ...But, really! What i-' his thought was cut off by her sigh of aggravation.

'AAARRRGGGEEE!' She thought what she wanted to shout. 'A-NY-WAYS...! That thing has probably noticed us, so we need to think of another way out!'

'Well, what can we do?!' Asked Dib, searching around him frantically. 'We can't even fight this thing 'cause we don't know what it is!'

'DIB!' Tak turned to him suddenly, grabbing his arm as she did so. 'You remember what Madame Vicious said?'

'What?' He asked, suddenly surprised.

'Shut-up!' She replied, before focusing on the jungle around her. He just pouted and tried to focus. They had fallen into some kind of an illusionary psychic-trap, walking right into it. But when? He had to think back, to before they were all disoriented...

"THAT'S IT!" He both thought and shouted, so it was extra-loud to Tak. "It was _just now_ that it happened!"

Tak had been trying to tune him out, but when he'd shouted, it kind-of threw her off a bit. 'AAAEEEUUUGH!' She thought about it, then asked, '_WHY_ are you stating the obvious!? THAT'S _WHY_ we need to find a way OUT OF THIS!'

'And that's WHAAAYYYYYY WE NEED _MORE_ _INFORMATION_!' Dib thought back to her. Why was she being so freakishly angry?!

'Gggrrr...! When we get out of here, I am _so_ going to murder you!' As Tak glared and thought about murder, Dib thought that he heard something...or was it felt something, or something...in the corner of Tak's mind.

'Tak! Hushhhh for a second! What's that?!' He asked, looking around uselessly.

'Why, only your idiotic _head_~!' Tak thought, even as she observed what he was thinking. It was like a little blip on her mental radar. 'Dib!' She thought, and even as she did, he knew what she was asking. 'Help me with your horribly-huuge head!'

'Got it!' He instantly forgot whatever it was they were fighting for, and instead assumed battle-mode.

The hush that had fallen over the jungle almost made a sound, but, nothing was so poetic in this portion. Or, at the very least, in this illusionary psychic trap. 'There's nothing to see, and we can't rely on our other senses. Only the psychic ones! What's the one thing that they _cannot_ think of?'

'You mean, besides using our senses to make us think they're saying strange stuff about the mountain? Or the false teachers in the yards underneath our schools?' Dib asked her, referring to their psychically-incapacitated group. The fact that they'd even known about what they'd discovered around that mountain and about the granny who came with seven chickens and a silver six-pin was amazing!

'Dib, that's it!' Tak suddenly thought, 'You're _right_! They DON'T know about it! They're using _our_ own minds to come up with bizarre behavior for the others! THAT'S why we're all affected! THAT'S why, except for YOU, we keep seeing things which are familiar!' Then she paused to consider, 'And that must be why YOU can't see anything, because you can't be psychically-affected! And all _I_ have to do is-' There was a sudden shift, and it felt like the very ground they were standing on was about to puke.

'Whoo-aaahhh! Whaaaiiiit!' Dib exclaimed as he grabbed and hung onto Tak's arm. 'Don't let go! Don't let go!'

'I hurugh! _Won't_ let go!' Tak told him as she tried to get him to stop squeezing her arm too much. 'Just relaaa~x!'

There was a pause as they waited for something else to happen. 'Trust me!' Tak thought, but then turned to consider the rest of their group. Dib just moaned at her "Trust me" comment, and tried to focus. Well, she _had_ been contemplating his murder, so it wasn't the most unusual thing to moan at. Tak just concentrated on extending her psychic-field around the others' brains, and using his non-psychic brain as a part of it.

It was a lot harder than one would think; she had to basically stretch his non-ability around the groups' minds and pull them into it. A completely spherical shield, instead of directly confronting any psychic attacks.

The others' bizarre figures flabled, but the illusion wasn't what she was looking at. Focusing on confronting a circular effect, she glared at the pained face of the one who was helping her to do it. 'Urgh!' He thought, trying his hardest to concentrate on the same thing. He felt like his brain might be several sizes larger after this attack.

"Well, _you're_ the cutest little thing~!" Came the voice of someone, and he almost gasped as he noticed.

'Diiib! That's an illusion! I'm the one experiencing it, NOT you, so just HOLD OUT for a few...' Tak felt her attention slipping, and she swallowed. 'That's not happening, yet!'

'_You're_ the one who's not happening!' Dib thought, 'You always try to do things the _hard_ way!'

'What?!' Asked Tak, 'There's no time for that!'

'Then LET ME help you!' He thought, glaring back. That was when she realized that she wasn't allowing him to help as much as she should. She was still keeping him at bay, too irritated to let him into her brain.

'Well-!' She was thinking, back to that time... 'Oh, alright! Let's get this over with!' She thought, relaxing.

The pressure she'd been under forcing his mind away from hers was relaxed, and she almost felt her concentration slip. Just almost. 'Phew! I'm glad that'-' The relief he felt was immediately attacked by the illusionary-trap psychic. 'Hey!'

'Don't let it-' Tak started to think to him, but he'd already put his guard up. 'Get to you,' she finished as she tried her hardest to focus.

'Let's put our own type of trap out!' Dib thought, looking straight at her face. Well, almost. Their eyes were closed. 'One that they won't even _think_ about!'

'Well...!' Thought Tak, before bringing her own idea to the psychic table, 'There's always-' She then proceeded to flip that table.

The same technique that that psychic was using on them was suddenly used on themselves, and a shudder was felt as the psychic reeled from the effect. Suddenly, the psychic's field was breaking down, and they found themselves standing shin-deep in what almost looked like a puddle. It was light-blue and seemed soft to where they almost thought they were sinking. The strange puddle-looking thing shivered, then rolled up, almost knocking them all over.

They hopped and jumped, before watching said roll-up walk end-over-end, off through the jungle.

"What...!" Asked Vick, as she watched it "walk". "Was that a gold-embroidered red carpet walking end-over end through the jungle?"

They all just nodded as they stared off after it.

"Woew..." Said Vick. "And I've almost seen everything..."

"And THAT'S why I'm no longer scared of these strange things," Vrilly said, picking a couple of the strange, dark plum and reddish-purple stick-things off of herself. They all pouted at being removed, very audibly, but eventually the young stick-things of whatever plant-animal-thing they were from understood that she was not a place for them to attach to so they could grow. I mean, after all -she wasn't even made of Wear-wee-wigglington!

The others just nodded as Nessie and Throbulator helped her detach the rest of them.

"Well, we'd better get moving," Vick stated as Tak held out her scanner and took the lead once more.

"Yaaay," Vrilly waved a random, non-sentient stick unenthusiastically as she followed them.

"Whooo," Throbulator added with a wave of his feathered spear-thing.

And Dib just rolled his eyes as Tak took to forcing him out of her mind once more: he knew that he shouldn't ask, but he just still couldn't help it. 'Why, oh, why has she been so mad all the time?!' He thought, but knew that he shouldn't expect her to answer. After all, he was -most probably- the one she was mad at/about, and he didn't want to know just how she'd blow up when she finally revealed the answer to his question. He was better-off not knowing until she decided to tell him all about the horrible thing that he was. That was natural. Perfectly normal, and no one would think any better of her if it hadn't happened.

Even if it reminded him of his sister, which made him shiver.

He hoped she hadn't taken any of his younger sibling's ideas to heart.

Of course, she was just always playing video-games, and besides, Skall had been a good influence on her! She didn't get nearly as physical and horrible as she used to be when she had no one to poke fun at while wharp-puping a violent Minny-gimmy in that one "Hing-y-game" game. Maybe, juuust maaayybe, all of the horrible hatred and grudges of angry women who'd turned to the dark forces of evil to do their bidding, would stop influencing her so much, and she'd make him a non-harrowing chicken mole` dinner for once?

Well, being the Monster House's Princess, she did have a lot on her shoulders, and bearing the combined anger of all of those hormonal, overly-emotional women _was_ difficult. To say nothing of the effect that it had on their neighbors... They'd moved away that one time after she'd vented a particularly-shocking wave of anger, and they all had domestics before their families were almost ruined and they had to leave to get therapy and family pie, and counseling.

He had never really thought about how different the atmosphere around his sister was until he'd become aware of the "Family". Compared to the deep, dark forces of evil which emanated from her every time Gaz made a Fop-killing on her PC games, this really wasn't that horrible. And that was exactly what he kept telling himself, every time he wondered why Tak was mad at him; and he hoped then when he found out, he wouldn't be exponentially wrong about it.

Gaz and her horrifying Monster House privileges aside, Tak was thinking along much different lines. "Looks like we might need to go to the right," she said as she pointed. The quiet line of people now forgetting their formation took note of it and followed her finger-pointing. They all looked around carefully as she led the way down another, darker-looking path.

The trees had seemed to make a hole, a slightly-creepy-looking tunnel. They paused to take in the depth of it before proceeding. "Look, it's not that scary. It's just dark." Tak tried to egg them on. They still seemed paused, somewhat out of fear, somewhat just worried. Things did try to hurt them an awful lot.

And that was when things decided to remind them of it. There, up in the branches, was a...thing. It looked like a squid, almost. It had what looked like blasters on the end of three arms, and one had a loong poker-thing. It also was aiming at them.

"Quick! Everybody, through the tunnel!" Tak shouted, as she also took aim. The squid-looking thing wasted no time shooting at them. The pale blue shots burned through the branches at the jungle-floor. Tak evaded the shots and shot back at the squid-looking thing, but only managed to hit the branches in between its tentacles.

"Tak!" Dib shouted, grabbing her out of the thing's range. But she still found time to gripe about it.

"Diiiib! Stop it!" She stated, pulling back to shoot at the squid-looking thing. It managed to dodge; and no wonder, since she was still being pulled off-balance by her would-be-savior.

"No!" Was all Dib said, pulling and pushing her ahead of him. But not before she managed to get one shot off at the branch the squid-thing was sitting on. It was the last branch holding it up, and it grabbed at the air, flailing, as it fell. She was pushed on ahead and into the tunnel, where Throbulator and the others were still waiting. The squid-thing looked around, shocked at its sudden grounding, and grabbed its little blaster back before squiddling away.

"Shh! Shh!" Someone said, probably Vrilly. It was rather dark, even at the opening.

"Come on, let's go!" Tak said, glaring over at Dib before leading the group's way down the tunnel. Despite however terrified they'd been of the dark, foreboding tunnel of extreme darky-ness, it was fine. They were safely coming out the other side before they were attacked once again.

"Well! Dark, scary tunnels are safe, and normally-lit jungles are not! Good to know," Vick stated as the jungle around them shuddered and shook.

"Yeah...glad to see you understand," Tak stated simply. Okay, perfunctory shock-and-commentary time was over, it was time to scan. "I'll scan." She said as she did just that. 'That's funny...that wasn't what I was hoping for...!' She looked up with surprise. "I think we should...RUN, EVERYBODY!"

They all ran, following her lead.

Dib caught her stray thought and asked, "Waait! What was thaiiit!" He kept pace with her easily, but hoped that she wouldn't wind up doing anything else dangerous while they were running. It was kind-of hard to keep up when she was fighting. The brief reprieve of jogging was met with a blueish-colored wavering high up in the trees, eventually becoming a glittering thing that turned goldish. The thing looked like a piece of fabric had been draped over the entire jungle up above them. They stopped a little to pause and stare at it, but then continued.

After they'd gotten through that strange event, they found themselves in a clearing. With several different fruit-trees around, they were glad to stop and take a breather. And to gather some fruit.

"Phew! Well, at least we got some fruit out of it!" Said Nessie as he pulled some of the "safe for humans to eat" fruit off of a tree. "Wait...is this one ripe?" He asked, looking over at Tak.

"Well, what color is it?" She asked as she raised a non-existent eyebrow at him.

He frowned and tried to discern it. "Puce...er, I think."

"*Sigh* Fine, then!" Tak stated, pulling out her scanner once again and reading it. "Try...the blue-ish looking ones. No, no, that other one!" She pointed with the scanner until he found the right one. That settled, she looked around for any sign of danger.

As the others gathered, they began to feel a cold wind blow. Looking up only for a second, they continued with their gathering. "Hey, look! I think I found something!" Vick said, crouching and holding up a big leaf of something. "Tak, what is this?"

Tak was already sauntering over there, scanner held out, ready for work. "It's...safe for the Vortians to eat. Oh, and there's some other vegetables over there, that are safe for you humans to eat." Tak pointed to some red-colored leaves with green, tuberous things hanging from them.

"Wow, finally! Vegetables!" Dib exclaimed, strangely happy. Vick and Nessie looked at him.

"I can't believe you're a kid who's actually excited about vegetables." Vick stated, raising an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?" Dib replied simply.

"Nevermind..." Nessie commented, turning away to gather more fruit. "Must be a mothman thing..."

"Uh...no. It's because we actually eat _real_ food at my house. Mmm, that thing reminds me of my Gramma's tamales!" Dib said as he pointed. "I wonder if it tastes like corn-dough?"

"Your...scary grandma makes tamales?" Asked Vick, suddenly curious.

Dib blinked in confusion before he said, "Oh! No, not that grandmother, the other one! On my dad's side! She always makes this huuuuge feast whenever we come over!"

"Oh... Yeah, my grandma's probably one of the ghosts in that old graveyard I told you about." Nessie stated. "I never really knew her."

"Maaan, all this talk about food makes me hungry! We should just get as much food as we can eat and get out of here!" Vick said.

"Do your people usually eat with their feet?" Asked Throbulator as he passed by them.

"What? Uh...no. Why would you say that?" Asked Dib.

"He said FEAST, not FEETS!" Vick was quick to pick up on what he was talking about.

"Oh! Sorry, uh..." Throbulator's usually-loud self was quieted with this embarrassment.

"Sheesh, mik, how could you get those two confused?!" Asked Vrilly, walking up to him.

"Well, I don't know, I just wasn't paying much attention!" He retorted, shrugging. He would've held his hands up, if it weren't for his loaded arms.

"Come on, hey! Somebody help me with this thing!" Nessie said, arms up, hoping to get at something in a tree. The others didn't seem very interested, but they eventually helped him with it. They all loaded their small, hand-made bags with whatever they could, before using Nessie's coat as a tarp to wrap the rest of it up in.

"Okay, well, we've got some stuff; what should we do now?" Asked Nessie, holding up his tarp-coat full of food.

"Let's see," Tak said, looking around and thinking. "I guess we could head back; no use staying out here when we can't even hunt anything..."

"That's...entirely defeating the purpose of this hunting-trip!" Nessie exclaimed.

"Why, do YOU see anything ELSE we haven't been attacked by?!" Vick exclaimed. "I'm not a vegetarian, but I might as well be after we get done with this! We can't even come across an edible, non-dangerous animal without it almost killing us!" Her patience with this little expedition was apparently waning.

"WE aren't even capable of attacking anything!" Throbulator complained. "It would've been better if Tak and I had gone alone!" His patience, too, was waning.

"Oh, don't be so sure: we can still use them for bait!" Tak reminded him, making the both of them smirk. "If we see anything along the way, we can hunt it. I'll keep the scanner out."

The look on Nessie's face said that he didn't like the idea of just giving up and going back to the camp-site, but he got the point. They weren't exactly trained hunters. They were just ordinary folks, thrown into extraordinary circumstances. In fact, he was sure most of them there hadn't even held a gun.

"Okay, then, that's settled! Where to?" Dib was strangely patient with this whole circumstance... Everyone questioned inwardly, but none of those ever became outwards. Instead, they questioned his sanity. But that was a little later.

Right now, though, Tak replied, "We'll go out that way and circle around; I don't want to know the stuff that's waiting for us to come back." They agreed, begrudgingly, and made their way out of the little clearing to follow the leader.

The leader's lead lead them right into another shaky situation. Only, this time, there was actual reason for it to be shaking. Unlike the shaking jungle they'd experienced high above them when they'd been running, this shaking seemed to be caused by some little, flying things.

"WHAAAAHHH!" Vrilly screamed, and everyone began running, even before Tak had time to shout it to them.

These little flying things went after them, and they took the loooong way around the looong way toward their campsite.

"WHAT ARE THOOOOSSSEEE!?" Vrilly and Vick simultaneously screamed. It seemed like they were becoming fast friends, since they could scream the same exact questions while they were running.

"NEVER-_MIND_ WHAT THEY ARE, JUST KEEP RUNNING!" Tak replied, barely turning her head to shout at them.

"WHO CARES WHAT THEY ARE?!" Nessie also exclaimed. Quite frankly, he didn't care enough about this planet's dangerous flora and fauna and other classifications of creatures as he thought he would.

They were on the home-stretch when the little flying things intersected them. In all honesty, they looked like little blue flies. They turned around after screaming once more, and found themselves stumbling into another confrontation. Only this one was a lot larger than those things. They screamed once again, dropping everything (except for the stuff that Tak had stored in her PAK) and ran in an adjacent direction.

They arrived at the campsite tired and horrified, but generally alive.

"Never...EVER...! AGAIN!" Vick stated as she panted, draping herself over a rock.

"I don't need meat THAT MUCH...!" Nessie agreed.

"I'm not going on another outing with those mamby-pamby wienies ever again~!" Throbulator moaned much more quietly than he normally would.

The others either didn't hear it or didn't notice because they were too worried about their own exhaustion. Agent Nessie confirmed this. "I haven't run that much in...well, not since those Frat boys stuck the ice-inerator in my car's trunk again..."

The Almighty Tallest frowned in confusion, until they finally said something. "How'd the hunting...thing...go?" Asked Tallest Purple. They were staring at the defeated group with less-than-interest. But, at the very least, they were attempting to make some conversation.

They were actually more interested in their little rock-puppetry than their exhausted hunters. "Yeah...that's nice!" Tallest Red said.

They -the hunters- bemoaned their plight anew when they found out that the Tallest were just too busy with their rock-puppets they'd made with Crystal. That, and, Sploods was too busy worrying about his shoes. Vick was worried about her calcium intake, and Vrilly was worried about her skin shedding. It only shed when she'd been running, scratched and sweating a whole lot. Nessie worried about having to go back out for food once more -could they visit the same place?- because they'd lost his coat.

And Dib was just worried that everyone was staring at him. Which was a strange worry, but, hey, he was a kid! That, and, he had pulled off his shoes because his feet were hot, and everyone squinched up their noses and other breathing and olfactory organs.

They glanced up as the ground began to shake. Just then, a giant monster walked on by and deposited a bundle on a rock, right in front of the exhausted group. They looked up, and watched the folds of fabric reveal that it was meat. It had been wrapped in Nessie's coat, to boot! The entire group was shocked, but the humans gasped in drooling wonder, and instantly dove at it. They didn't even question whom their generous slaughterer was.

Tak just pouted and cringed as she watched them eagerly attempt to cook.

* * *

END CHAPTER 8

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AUTHOR'S NOTES:

Whoo-hoo! Wasn't that a great, horrifying one?!

I never got around to explaining what Tak's new clothes look like, but that'll have to happen in the next chapter. I like the funny joke about Sploods' height~! *Laughs* I was originally thinking he'd be a few inches taller, but come on! Just ONE INCH was so easy, I couldn't pass it up.

My favorite little story, here, was the video Tak and Dib made with Zim burning~! Her droll commentary just made it so much more fun~! I hope I managed to do it justice. I know that that one would be much funnier to actually SEE as a movie, but you'll have to make due with just the written version~!

"Squiddling" is now my new word! It means, "to Squiddle". Which basically just means the way that a squid would move, especially, but not limited to, on land.

If anyone can guess why and who deposited the meat for them, then Mister, you can actually understand my sentences! *Laughs* Nah, just kidding~! I'll tell you! It was the last monster they dropped their food in front of! He decided that it would make a nice trade, and took pity on them. Hee hee hees, funny, considering they'd just had a conversation about how pathetic pity was for an adult~!

Hhhmmm...not much else to say~! Pretty-please, Read and Review!


	9. What Rhymes With Pruit?

DISCLAIMER: What do I own?! NOTHING! Unless it's of my own making, but Invader Zim isn't!

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Whoopsies! Looks like I forgot about Starky a lot in the last one~! Oh, well! He's not really important, because...!

Another story has been posted...!

THIS IS A REALLY IMPORTANT THING: Go and read "Zoetrope"! Otherwise, you won't know what's happening in an important part of this story! I've just posted it! (It's a one-shot, as told from Tak's point of view.)

That being said, there's some really interesting stuff going on in Dib's head~! And, we'll get to find out why Tak is so upset with him! But read the other story, first, or else you won't understand what they're talking about! Okays, pretty-please enjoys the rest of the chapter! (After "Zoetrope"!)

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**CHAPTER 9: "Meat! Meat! The Magical Pruit! The more you eat, the more you, uhhh... D'oh! Hey, what rhymes with 'Pruit'?!"**

* * *

As the Earthlings were fighting over the best way to cook their meat, the other aliens looked on curiously.

"Man, we need to make sure that the Vortians don't get wind of this," Throbulator commented. The Almighty Tallest looked a bit nervous as he voiced this thought. Sploods just thought of how they could get any more meat.

"Oh, hey, yeah! The Vortians eat a mostly-carnivorous diet, don't they?" Asked Vrilly casually.

"Yeah, and they haven't brought it up: they've been subsisting on fruit!" Stated Crystal, "I can't imagine they're getting all of their nutrition from that."

"Yeah, and I'm getting kind-of tired licking cat." Shlooktapooxis said with a yawn as he awoke.

Everyone seemed somewhat startled as they turned to look at him. "What?" Asked even Vick and Nessie while they still conversed how to smoke their meat. Dib was too busy wondering if they could somehow use the lye to chemically alter it to preserve it without changing its taste. It wouldn't work, but at the very least, he was in the process of discovering all-new ways to cook some meat...

After Shloonktapooxis regaled them with his latest dream -which had blue doops and absolutely no mention of cats- he reminded them of something else. "Heya, guys, when are we gonna' blast our way out of this?! 'Cause, I'd kinda' like to do something other than wandering around, getting attacked by dangerous alien plants...and other stuff that is almost plants, and stuff that looks like plants, and stuff that isn't plants!" Then he paused, still hovering there, tongue hanging out. Everyone waited for him to finish his typical Shloonktapooxis-comment. "In fact, I'm getting kind-of tired of plants."

"Which is sort-of funny," stated Sploods, "because, you know, your people live on a planet that's almost entirely covered in Limpitongue liquid and plants."

Shloonktapooxis just grinned with his tongue out, antenna down, tail to the side, and said, "Nyeh~!" apologetically.

_(A/N: T__here's a liquid on the planet Hotty-hots-hots called "Limpitongue". But I'm not a scientist, so I don't know what it's made of. Pronounced: "Limp-ee-tongue".)_

"Hey, Sploods, that was totally a Ploopoh comment!" Said Vrilly, lightly poking fun at him.

"Heh heh, yeah!" Said Nessie with a laugh.

A few others laughed a little bit, before Crystal stated, "Well, when's he gonna' wake up?"

Vrilly added something to soften the blow, "Yeah, I guess we're all making Ploopy-like comments to make up for his absence."

"These Seensesies will need to be out for about another couple of hyopours! And then we can wake them up." Sploods stated.

"Then we'll have to make due with everyone else making Ploopoh-like comments!" Vrilly said sadly, with her head down, shaking it.

_(A/N: "Seensesies" refers to a particular group of species, but all we know is that it refers to the group that the Vortians and Babblians are a part of. Pronounced: "SEEN-sees"._

_"Hyopours" refers to a measurement of time. Not sure how long it is. Pronounced: "Hya-pers".)_

"Whee...what else...!" Crystal turned to Throbulator, who was sitting nearby, and asked.

"What's the worst-case scenario?" Asked Throbulator, continuing the little game they'd been playing on-and-off, almost seriously, but mainly just in parody.

"Hm...maybe... We're all acidically-burned and then while we're running to safety, we get exploded to death?" Was Crystal's response.

"Nah, I was thinking about the Clyimpond's Effect! You know, when everyone's favorite things in their pockets start exploding, and then everyone screams, igniting the legions of sleeping, angry infernos, and everyone is doomed by their own insane pleas for help...you know the one!" Throbulator responded with a wave of a hand.

"OOoHHh! Mik, how could I not THINK of that!?" Crystal said, hitting her head with a hand and then laughing. "Where has my brain gone?!" They both laughed a little, enjoying the segue into silliness with the obvious peril they were still experiencing.

"Speaking of which," Tallest Red turned to Tallest Purple and Sploods, and presumably even Tak -although she was a little ways away- their little group. "What do you guys think?"

"About what? Our impending sense of peril? Or our incredible sense of disturbance at not knowing what in the heck we should be doing? Or, maybe just our lack of pain because everyone else has been handling all of our work for us?" Tallest Purple's last question landed on a more hopeful note, but it still didn't help any.

"I think..." The Tallests' usual tete a tete was interrupted by their Adviser, Sploods, who continued: "We should re-consider _WHO_ brought us here." The Tallest didn't mind it; it was an important question.

"Well, I'm sure it can't be anyone we've seen..." Tallest Red said cautiously, then waited for Purple.

"Why would a complete stranger drop us off here, then?!" Asked Tallest Purple. "I mean, without any reason, it'd just be like, eh...an annoying teenage fan-fiction!" The fourth-wall snorted at this affront and turned around.

"Well, I'm sure it's not any of the Resisty!" Tallest Red countered. "I mean, who'd be stupid enough to doom themselves?!"

"Their name _is_ pretty stupid," Tallest Purple continued, "AND, they DID try to attack us in The Massive with that measly little Vort ship! We'd have easily zapped 'em to bits, if it weren't for Zim!"

"You're forgetting about our trump-card," Tallest Red said, "And she says that there's nothing they're hiding."

Tallest Purple pouted; "Well, who ELSE would've done it?" Then he pointed, "'Cause THAT guy, that, eh, Shloonktapoxis-ish-iss? Whatever it is, HE couldn't've done it!"

"Hey," Shloonktapooxis exclaimed, "Why would you say that?!" For some reason he took offence at the thought that he couldn't have arranged all of this.

"Oh, just stop it! You know you didn't do it!" Tallest Purple stated, then got back to the point. "What I'm saying is, that no one else would've had any reason to do this!"

"But I COULD'VE...!" Shloonktapooxis continued his protest. Everyone just coughed and let that statement stay as-is.

"I think that I've got an idea..." Sploods started, looking embarrassed as he fiddled with his fingers. "But...I don't think it's gonna' be very appreciated..."

"Oh, just come on!" Tallest Red said, "And tell us what it is!"

"Yeah!" Teased Tallest Purple, "You know somebody's gotta' say it! Might as well be the one! Say it and get it over with!"

Since most of them seemed to know it already, there was no use in beating around the bush. "What I'm wondering, is, if some person stuck all of us on this alien planet, just to amusingly get us to cooperate and possibly to end our fighting?" Sploods didn't say the rest of that comment, but everybody knew what it was. Well, almost everybody...!

"Who would DO that!?" Asked Tallest Purple, putting his arms out as if to emphasize it. "That makes no sense!"

"He's got a good point; we've already ruled out Lard-nar and his crew!" Tallest Red stated, then he paused for a bit. "Maybe it-" as he turned to look at the Earthlings, enjoying their own sort of BBQ, his thoughts were cut short by Tak's statement.

"No, it wasn't him," Tak stepped out from the other side of the soil-monster's over-hang. "Believe me, I'd know!"

"Well, what about us?" The Earthlings apparently weren't oblivious, as Vick soon demonstrated. "We didn't even know about it!"

"Huh-DuWHAH?!" Nessie demonstrated that he wasn't against trying to eat the meat raw, by stuffing his mouth full of it. He was only trying to hold onto it, but he didn't have any other hands, and he did have a mouth...! "IwahDurihduih!"

"And what about the rest of them?" Asked Sploods, waving and motioning. "They aren't directly involved at all!"

"Yeah! I'm not a member of The Resisty or a soldier, why would anyone pick me to hang out here with you guys?!" Vrilly stated, somewhat cautiously, for fear of annoying the Irken leaders.

"That makes two! Tarky over there can't fight, either!" Starky replied, pointing. "And even if I'm an Ambassador, that doesn't mean that I'm involved in these kinds of politics!"

"That also doesn't explain Lasch-mik," Tallest Purple said, "Or Sploods, if we're going for exact involvement."

"That could ACTUALLY involve Sploods," Tallest Red commented, "If you take into account the fact that he ADVISES US about STUFF like WHAT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!?"

"That also doesn't explain Clasps!" Sploods again interrupted one of their tete a tetes to point at the blob-lady, who'd by now puddled-up to rest -and to avoid any of the subjects they were discussing.

And, speaking of which, they'd never gotten her food, the last time they were out scavenging... This point was commented on by Throbulator earlier, but no one was paying much attention to it. Ah, wells~! Tallest Purple was again speaking, "That reminds me, we've got an interesting arrangement...like, of our group? It...what is it?!" As he looked annoyed at forgetting what it was he was talking about, Tallest Red continued for him.

"You mean that, we've got four Irkens, two alien soldiers, three Resisty members -if we count the Big-headed Dib- and several, non-interested members?" They thought about this.

"Neyah...! The Vortian Nanny could count as a Resisty sympathizer, though. And the two soldiers; but Tak can fight." Tallest Purple paused in his musings, "And, if you count all of us involved in politics, you could even count Starky in it...!"

"What? What point would there be to include Starky in those politics?!" Asked Tallest Red incredulously. "And wait: have you been eating any of those strange stick-stuffs again?!"

"But it would be a point from an _outsider's_ point of view!" Tallest Purple explained. Then, after a pause, "And besides, you know I didn't like the taste of it." Apparently a lot had happened when the rest of the group had gone hunting.

"That outsider would have to have had a lot of intel. to do that," Tak commented.

"But what outsider would've cared enough about our political disagreements to strand us on this horrible planet!?" Tallest Red exclaimed, holding his arms out, "I mean, we didn't even know this planet EXISTED until someone plucked us out of our homes or whatever and stuck us here!"

"So, that means two things:" Sploods decided to sum-up the discussion for everyone, "First, that someone we don't know, who is not a member of The Resisty nor the Irken government, has the ability to remove everyone from their homes or whatever and send us to this unknown planet."

Some of the others weren't as pleased with this summation, but Tallest Purple nodded with an emphatic, "Mmm-hmm!"

Tak, on the other hand, kept a watchful eye for any reactive minds listening in on their conversation.

"Second," Sploods continued, "That they have an interest in how we interact, especially that which would solve our current political conflict."

Everyone was silent. The heaviness of that thought left their minds almost gasping for hope. "Hey! Who wants seconds?!" Nessie and the Earthlings apparently weren't thinking about it.

"Ooh! Oooh! I do!" Dib called, pointing to a stick that he was holding out. "Toss it over here!"

And that was the end of the heaviness.

As the Earthlings cooked their meat on the sticks like shish-kabobs, they gradually delved into the great question of how in the heck they were going to preserve the rest of their meat. And since it really wasn't going well, everyone else decided to meddle in their business to help to solve that annoying question once and for all!... Everyone started arguing smoking, salting, freezing, and many other types of preservation.

Dib stuffed himself with enough meat to feel like he was about to burst: no one even seemed to notice when he'd dozed off. The little nap began almost as soon as he'd laid down his head, and turned into a long dream. Inside the dream, he could see himself.

The picture of himself was exactly the same, only it felt like it had...more emotion...or more...SOMETHING... Something which he didn't have... And something which he felt like he wanted back...! Oh, that's right!...HE was the reflection -he was just the normal, ordinary reflection he used so that- so that- he really wanted so desperately to remember. What was that?! Reaching out towards the picture of himself, he felt as if he was sucked in -so shocking at first, and then he was himself. Once more. 'Oh...!' He found himself thinking.

There was another consciousness nearby, but that was not what he was surprised about. Rather, it felt like it should've been there in the first place, and he felt rather remiss without it. He reached out, calling like it was the most casual thing: 'Hey, Tak! Hey! Hey! Lookit, it's me!'

Tak's attention seemed to be drawn to him in surprise. 'Dib...! Just what in the heck...! How did you not know about- wait a minute, what's going on?!'

'Hi, uh, what's up...?' He replied somewhat nervously. If his mental image was seen by someone else, he would've looked the very picture of a nervous boy in love. Of course, to Tak this was nothing new.

'Yeah...you're ...ah, how do I put it...? You've been acting...not like...you.' Replied Tak simply.

'You're...oh! Now I know! You mean about the whole, "not remembering" thing?' He asked, his dream-mind now working a whole lot faster.

'Yeah~!' Tak almost wanted to sigh this audibly. 'You're acting as if- well, as if nothing ever happened!'

'Yeah, I know!' Exclaimed Dib happily, 'You see, it all started with-'

'You mean you MEANT it?!' Exclaimed Tak mentally, and outwardly she almost wanted to scream. But all she could do was to grasp the air with her hands in anger.

'Yes!' Exclaimed Dib mentally just as loud, to get her attention. 'You see, after you left, I was -well, so I was depressed! So kill me! It's not that -wait, wait, what was I talking about?'

He didn't know how closely he'd hit the nail on the head with that last comment, but Tak pushed the reminder of that out of her mind and thought, 'You were talking about why you didn't remember that you were in love with me before you fell asleep just now?!' She hoped he'd get to the point sometime within the next hour.

'Yeah! And I was sssooo depressed, but then, just as I was thinking how horrible it was, I had this Night-terror, and-!' He was interrupted once again by Tak trying to get more information.

'Wait, what's a "night-terror"?'

'What? Oh, that! It's a nightmare you can't wake up from.' He explained. 'Then, when I was in the middle of my awful dreams, I-'

'WAIT! You mean you actually WENT UNCONSCIOUS for a long amount of time!?' Exclaimed Tak, anxiously.

'Well, uh- yeah! Wait, how'd you know it was long?' Asked Dib, now confused.

'Now this is VERY IMPORTANT! Exactly how long were you out for?' Tak asked earnestly, almost reaching to grab the information out of his head -but she restrained herself.

'Ahm! 38 hours and 47 minutes...!' Replied Dib nervously. 'At least, that's what they told me! Because, in judging from what the house's computer said-!'

'THAT'S IT!' Exclaimed Tak rather commandingly. She wasn't about to let him continue on babbling -not at this important moment. 'And you had night-terrors that entire time?!'

'Well, no- not entirely. Mostly a person only dreams for about 80 minutes in total each night, you see, with intermittent phases of deep sleep during which the body repairs itself. But, unlike normal sleep, I didn't wake up at all. It was almost like...I dunno, a dream-coma?... Or something.' Dib explained, now thoughtful as to what it could've been.

'Exactly...that's right!' Thought Tak cryptically. 'Okay, continue: what were you going to say again?'

'Again? Tak, what is this about?!' Asked Dib skeptically.

'JUST DO IT! ...Please,' Tak had to physically calm down her breathing, 'I'll tell you afterwards -I promise!'

Dib glared, but decided to give her the benefit of the pout-er, doubt! 'ANYWAYS, as I was saying, towards the end of it, I had this dream where, strangely, I was talking to my mother! And it was odd...because it was just like if she had actually been there! ...I think it may have been some kind of dimensional-transference, because after I woke up, I saw a little compact of hers lying right beside me! I'm pretty sure that's what it was...Gaz put it there, I'm sure...especially since she accepted my thanks for it.' Dib stopped after this, wondering if he had actually been correct in assuming she'd put it there.

'AND?!' Tak was growing ever more impatient. This information was important to her, and it almost made Dib want to ask why she wanted to know it -but, being that their partnership usually consisted of her telling and asking for information "in the right order", he didn't.

'As I was talking to her,' this small brief interlude had given him some time to think on what had actually happened, 'I noticed that, my body's desire to metamorphose -go into a cocoon- was directly affected by my romantic feelings. And so, in order to wait until you got back, I decided to do a little, "dissociative memory reconstruction".'

'What?'

'I mean, that I "hid" my memories. Well, basically, my more recent, emotionally-charged memories about love. In any case, I'll act more like my juvenile self as long as this mental block is intact. However, I don't know how long it'll last -and anything done to remind me of such feelings while I'm awake might also awaken those "hidden" memories.' As Dib explained this, Tak could actually sense that he was his old self again -not his old-old self, but the one she'd left behind.

'Ah...I get it.' Thought Tak. She almost felt like asking him why he wanted to wait for her, but the answer to that was so absurdly simple, that it'd be a laugh just to mention it! 'I'll...tell you what I have to tell you, now.'

'What?!' Thought Dib as his mind now whirled with possible explanations. But Tak waited until his attention focused on her to continue.

'The reason why I left. The reason why you and I collapsed for 38 hours and 47 minutes. The reason why I'm so TICKED at you...' she pouted and took a quick glance around to see if anyone was watching. No one noticed her, so she continued. 'You remember I had to leave to attend a meeting with the Control Brains...'

'Yeah. You did tell me about that -but I don't understand. What does that have to do with-'

'WAIT until I'm finished!' Reprimanded Tak. 'As I said, I had a meeting with the Control Brains...to discuss something...rather problematic...!' She felt her resolve begin to wane.

But Dib's resolve didn't, so he insisted that she continue. 'Come on already!'

'As you know, Irkens are partially psychic. Our minds are naturally inclined towards simple psychic abilities, but most either can't or won't make use of them in their life-time. That's why our PAKs block psychic pryers from peeping into our minds and possibly taking control of them. But I'm different. I'm higher-functioning in my psychic abilites. That's why I got this implant, to help me use them more. But the reason for the psychic abilities is ancient. It's said that if two Irkens loved each other and had the same purpose, it would be simple for this to trigger the permanent psychic link.'

'Permanent...?' Thought Dib -then he realised what she'd said before that. 'L-Love!? Wait a minute!'

Tak almost felt like face-palming. This was not only annoying, it was embarrassing! 'IN ANY CASE, I think that the NECKLACE may have made it easier for this sort of thing to happen, since IT HASN'T HAPPENED IN AGES! Over...hundreds of years! ...I think...'

Dib was now reeling with strange thoughts and sudden emotions that wanted to strangle him as he considered what she was talking about. 'I-I- I, uhm...!' He didn't really have anything intelligent to say. It was best to keep him on the right track in the conversation.

Tak continued, 'I thought something was weird when I could hear you in my head, even with the necklace off! And that...weird...thingamajig...!' She found herself embarrassed to think about that time -but the memories came flooding back to her so easily that she had to almost shout in her mind to keep them from overtaking her thought process. 'SO I went to SEE the Control Brains to ...have an evaluation done...'

'An evaluation?' Thought Dib, confused.

'Since it was I who noticed the weirdness first -well, Tolula did- it was only a "health and mental fitness" evaluation; fairly standard procedure. In any case, I, uh... wanted to get away from you, too.' She didn't feel like she needed to explain, but she did, anyways: 'You were...making advances! And I don't mean just that cutesey-stuff, either!' She glared at him as if she knew every horrible detail.

'What? Since when?!' Thought Dib, now curious as to when he'd ever been as suave as to "make advances".

'You're stupid.' Tak actually put a hand to her head, sure that no one would notice. 'Your dreams were making advances, then!'

Dib would've turned completely red, had he actually been physically awake. 'I'M-! I'M SORRY!' The embarrassment was almost too much to stand, looking straight at her mentally. He moved away to a further corner of their shared thoughts and felt like hiding.

'In any case,' Tak even had to hide her embarrassment -it wasn't something she wanted to remember. Too many lovey-dovey dreams. 'I was assured that I would no longer be fit for anything, much less being an Invader!'

The implications of this last sentence made Dib come out of his hiding-place and say, 'What?! You mean-!'

'Yes! ...We're a cybernetic, genetically-modified species; we no longer reproduce that way. Anyone like that would be unnecessary and a liability.' Then she felt herself relax as she took in a breath and added, 'Normally.'

'What? Normally? What happened?!' Dib was now extremely curious.

'The Resisty is what happened,' thought Tak, clicking her tongue quietly. 'They're the main reason you're not half-brain-dead and in a coma right now!'

The words seemed strange, but the meaning soon became clear as it drifted over the psychic link. If the sudden seperation of distance caused them both to collapse, then wouldn't it do even worse if one of them was dead?! The suggestion made him shudder. 'Wh- what's happened with the Resisty?' He was also wondering if ancient Irkens died or committed suicide if their mate died, but there were other things to consider...

'The current conflict has caused the Control Brains to consider ...different tactics... Typical tactics. The ones Irkens would rather die than accept the terms to.' Tak thought, unwilling to bring herself to mention it. Even though this had been what she was leading up to, and she was already over the worst of it...right?

'"Typical tactics", hm...? The only thing I can think of is...oh...a marriage-alliance...right?' Thought Dib nervously. That was the only thing he could think of that was related to their current...situation.

'Even more- The Moo-moo Galactic Covenant. It's a last-ditch effort, in case things get out of hand with this "Resisty" business.' Tak hoped desperately she didn't have to explain it. But, they were too far out in the Milky Way Galaxy, and too young as a species, so...

'What's the- the Moo-moo Galactic Covenant?' Dib was both curious and incredulous. No, seriously! MOO? As in, COWS?! Milky Way, cows, Moo-moo...things were getting waaay too punneriffic!

Begrudginly, the silliness of his brain was enough to relieve some of the mental strain she'd been experiencing lately. 'Not really~!' She laughed in response to his thoughts on puns.

'What?' Asked Dib, completely distracted, now.

'The Moo-moo Galactic Covenant is an ancient document containing binding laws for committing and accepting a marriage-alliance. No one has ever had the audacity to go against it; it's so ancient, but no one will contest it. Everyone respects it: with good reason. One of the very last intergalactic wars was said to have been caused by violating it. And there's also the unusual people who inhabit and protect it...in any case, it's strange.' Tak finished, but knew and prepared herself for his other questions.

'Who made it up?! What was this last war? When was it?! Was it that one everyone was talking about before?! Which races were involved in it!?' His questions seemed to die down while he thought up more. Then, he added, 'And, even if the last war was caused by violating it, was that because it was protected by those "unusual people", or was that something different?! Who'll be punished if one side violates it?! And is everyone just worried about starting another intergalactic war? Why wouldn't the Irkens just blow everyone away!?'

'*Sigh* Both mentally and physically, your questions are tiring!' Replied Tak, then she thought, 'The Irken Empire wants to control the universe -that's kind-of pointless if there's no one else left. There's several major species represented in the Resisty; that could cause wide-spread effects if the main bulk of them started to rebel. And yes, the last intergalactic war left most people dead.' Tak then took a moment to let this sink into his big head.

'That-oh, right...' Thought Dib. 'Continue.'

'The Polipolips were the species who originated this covenant; they were well-known for taking careful measures to ensure people got along peacefully. And the last war was so horrible, most people wouldn't want another one. The races involved were also ancient ones...I don't think Irkens were space-faring back then, but many of our conquered species were involved in it. They'd be most likely to support the Moo-moo Galactic Covenant. This war only involved our one galaxy, and we don't even know what the full extent of it was. Most people must've killed each other off, as there's lots of ruins on other planets... Is that enough?'

'Oh...well, okay. I guess I can get the full history lesson another time.' Replied Dib with a sigh.

'The FULL history lesson would take another time and a HALF!' Exclaimed Tak sardonically.

'Heh heh...I'm looking forward to it!' Dib just laughed and then thought, 'So...what were we talking about again...? Oh, right! The Control Brains were thinking of using this, "Moo-moo Galactic Covenant" thing with the Resisty and...us?!'

'Yes, with us. Since, technically, you have been cooperating with them.' Tak replied simply. There were no secrets between them, and Dib did know that, but still...having her comment on it directly was a little embarrassing.

'I- uh, yeah.' Dib felt himself become both embarrassed and incredulous. Since when was he actually anybody important?!

'Apparently,' smirked Tak as she heard and felt his thoughts, 'Since you got married to someone!'

'Y-yeah, we-' His thoughts slowed down as he back-tracked in the conversation. 'WAIT A MINUTE! You didn't say anything about us being MARRIED!'

'Geeze, Dib!' Thought Tak as she felt her face in her palm again, 'Just what'd you think that THAT THING was?!' The thought of that fight with the Men in Black's brain-dead psychic computer made him blush mentally and wonder why he didn't think of it sooner. It had felt pretty...important. And yet...so natural...? That was it. 'It felt...natural?!' Asked Tak as she heard him thinking.

'We- oh! Yeah, it's just like, ehm,' he paused a second to feel embarrassed before continuing, 'In the cocoon, we would both have conversations...because basically our bodies are being jelli-fied and fused and re-formed and-' he looked to her to realize that she wasn't looking at the mental pictures. It had reminded her of Zim's horrifying "jellied-bones" experiment that they'd both gotten an up-close and personal look at! 'It would've been...like, about the same...thing? I think.' He finished lamely.

'Okay.' Thought Tak, trying to get those disturbing mental images out of her mind. 'The Control Brains would consider anything like that, a marriage. Unless, of course, you get divorced, or only have a mate for a short time or something.' The quick change of pace was nice enough to keep her from thinking about jellied-bones.

'I...get it...' Dib felt his heartbeat quicken and he almost felt happy...he was trying so hard to keep his head down, but he felt like everything was nice and rosy and giddy...! 'That-that's...yeah! That's good...! I mean, that's good if you think it's, oh- kay, I can't keep myself from being excited! This is...nice...!' He felt his head floating on giggling little clouds until Tak popped his ninth cloud.

'It's not that nice...!' Her angry words were more terse than he'd heard her today, and he stopped mid-romantic fantasy to listen to her. But nothing more was said. Tak was just tense and quiet.

'Tak...?' Asked Dib, feeling his heart sinking faster than when he was worried that she was never coming back. 'What's wrong?...'

There was a long, tense moment before she finally thought, 'You're the only one who's happy with this...!'

This brought confusion to Dib's head. Didn't she say that that "permanent psychic link" could only happen if the two people loved each other...? Or was it because of the amplification of the psychic necklace...?! If it was, then...then, maybe she didn't...? He felt his heart hurt with weird stabs of pain. 'Come on, Tak! Please! Talk to me!...!' He felt his eyes become hot and he was sure they would well up with tears. Would he be crying in his sleep?! What a baby everyone would think he was...!

"IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT!" Shouted Tak in their heads, a lot louder than she thought she should have. But it was true. It had nothing to do with love. She looked up, wondering if someone would see her angry facial-expression, but no one was there. Leaning her head on the rock-like bone wall of what was once the soil-monster, she thought, 'I wanted to be an Invader...'

He thought for a minute and stared at her psychic form before finally realizing it. 'YOU! But THEY CAN'T DO THAT-' he felt his thoughts stop as suddenly she sent a piercing thought towards him. But she didn't say anything about it.

'Well, It's TRUE that we haven't captured or killed Zim yet-' Dib started, and he felt Tak roll her eyes sarcastically. 'BUT! THAT'S no reason why they should go back on their DEAL! I mean, THAT-'

'THEY'VE ALREADY DECIDED IT!' Thought Tak as loud as she could -but it actually sounded rather low in their heads. 'THEY'VE MADE THEIR DECISION!... And I'm...!'

Dib suddenly felt his heart sink as he realized. This was why she was so upset...! 'I'm-!' The words "I'm sorry" didn't come out, as she sent a wave of feeling that he could only interpret as that she didn't want him to say those words. 'Don't-!' The phrase, "don't turn away from me" wouldn't come to mind -no words were coming to mind. All he could think of was how he wanted to hold her as she cried.

He felt himself reaching out to her, but she kept pushing him away. Fear, guilt, anger...he felt his heart twisting with all these feelings as he chased after her. Finally, he couldn't stand it. 'WAIT UP!' He exclaimed, still not too loudly, as he reached out, hoping to strengthen his resolve, 'I SAID WAIT!'

He finally grabbed hold of her and held on tight. 'THAT'S NOT HAPPENING!' He thought, 'THAT'S NOT FAIR!' She felt like sneering at this and wanted to turn away, but he was unusually strong this time. It made her feel...odd. Just like he was before she left... She wanted to run. 'I'M NOT LETTING YOU GO UNTIL YOU LISTEN!'

She felt herself almost scream in anger, but stopped and swallowed before thinking, 'Okay. What?'

'I'M-! Really, really...!' He'd started out strong, but found himself stopping for a minute. Swallowing, (did the dream-him or the real him have to swallow?) he thought, 'I love you. I want to be with you ...forever! But... But not...! But I'm not letting them treat you like this!'

'But they've already made the DECISION!' Despite her loud thoughts, she found herself looking pleadingly at his mental form. Why did she feel like this...?! It was just a stupid job -she could get another one -no, she'd already gotten another one! 'There's nothing to be done!' So, then, why did she feel like pleading? She had just spent most of her life training and striving to be an Invader, it was no big loss-! Despite her hardened features, she felt the threatening tears start to come.

'I always wanted to be a Paranormal Investigator! ...And, well, with you along, we...! We seemed to run into all sorts of stuff! And then-!' He felt his mind start to ramble and he forced himself back on topic. 'I thought that, for just a minute, that both our dreams were going to come true, and that we could be together and married and-!' He felt himself stop. His physical self must be crying; he felt that he wanted to.

'Silly and childish-!' She found herself thinking, spitefully, yet not willing to tear herself away from him.

'But if I can't -but if WE can't have all of that, then- then WHAT GOOD WILL IT DO!?' He felt himself grabbing her harder and realized that he couldn't actually hurt her physically...but he relaxed his hands instinctively. 'I don't want to have to live my life with- with- another version of MY SISTER!' She looked up at him with wide eyes, though physically they weren't anywhere near each other.

'YES, you!' He thought back at her shock. 'You're too TESTY! What'd I ever do to YOU!? If you want someone to be mad at, then how about the CONTROL BRAINS?! OR, better yet, how about the "ALMIGHTY" TALLEST who are SITTING RIGHT OVER THERE!? You can take your anger out on THEM! In fact, I'll even HELP YOU!'

'You,' she even found herself smirking at his silly, angry comments, 'You can't do that! What about the- the Moo-moo Galactic Covenant!?'

'What?! Does it SAY in that "Moo-moo Covenant" that you CAN'T be an INVADER!?' Thought Dib incredulously. 'I mean, I don't know about YOU, but doesn't a "marriage alliance" JUST mean marriage?!' She thought about this in surprise. She hadn't thought about it, although the covenant was recorded in the database and every Irken knew every word of that long text; but then, why didn't the Control Brains tell her so?

'NIX the CONTROL BRAINS!' Exclaimed Dib angrily. 'I DON'T CARE WHAT THOSE FAT-HEAD BRAINS SAID, I'M YOUR HUSBAND, AND I SAY, "THEY'D BETTER KEEP THEIR WORD, OR ELSE!"' He found himself pulling her closer, yet he didn't care.

'"OR ELSE!" what?' Asked Tak as she found herself pulled into a hug; and yet, she didn't mind it.

'OR ELSE...! OR ELSE, I'LL COME DOWN THERE, AND...RIP THAT STINKIN' MOO-MOO COVENANT TO SHREDS!' Tak instantly gave him a little knock on the head.

'%$ &amp;#, Dib! You're going to start an intergalactic WAR if you do that!'

'WELL, THEN!' Dib thought as he grinned, 'THEY'D BETTER LISTEN TO ME, HUH!?'

Tak absolutely felt like slapping him -but she hugged him instead. '...Thanks.' She wished the tears she felt like crying in her mind wouldn't be noticed on the outside; but she was sure that they would. Feeling his absolute determination to do something so stupid it'd start an intergalactic war, just because she wanted to be an Invader...it felt good. Relief was slowly flowing into her head as she hoped no other rational thoughts would push it out.

'You're welcome,' he thought, and felt the strongest desire to ...not go back to his fake self. Why couldn't he remember this wonderful thought? He wanted to stay this way until he woke up. It just wasn't fair...!

'It's alright,' thought Tak reassuringly, 'In fact, if...you want to just...talk, and be yourself, for a short while, then...' she didn't continue, but the meaning of her words was transferred.

'I can come back here at night...? Then I can feel like,' he found his thoughts trailing off as he tried to define how he felt. 'Oh, whatever...!'

'Just...a little bit...each night...' she felt a bit odd telling him this. Who knew how long they would be there on that distant planet, far away from everything and everyone...? How'd they even know it was distant...? Where in the heck was it?! If he finally reached his limit and did make a cocoon, how would they protect it?

'Won't you be with me...?' He thought, reminding her of the main problem. He'd wanted so badly just to wait for her, to make sure that...! She realized now what he was making sure of. Of course, it had been there all along, but now it felt like it was so much easier to understand! Just like it...was natural.

'I'll think about it...' she thought truthfully. If things were indeed like this, and if she could indeed be an Invader even if she was only part Irken, if after all of that and the Moo-moo Galactic Covenant was made, then...! She felt her tears slide down and realized that she hadn't kept a check on her facial-features. She glanced around to see if anyone was looking, but of course, since she was around a corner away from the only source of warmth, the fire, no one was. She wiped the tears and smirked at her hand ironically...

Irkens and humans had two completely different body-chemistries. Without those "paranormal" Moth-human hybrid genes, none of this would've happened. No marriage-alliance. Or, the Control Brains would've figured on Nanites to make things work. Either way, the irony was hilarious. She felt herself smiling even though more tears were streaming down. Darn that Big-headed Dib!...

With darkness falling, nobody had noticed the tears of the Big-head-boy, or the smile on his cheeks. A random rock that was kicked up bounced off his head, barely making him flinch. He still had a hard head.

Both physically and in stubbornness.

* * *

Sleeping in the middle of a conversation was usually not considered; anyhow, the Almighty Tallest didn't seem to think that it was all that important this time. They didn't bother with telling him to pay attention to them when they were solving -potentially- everyone's problem. Simply, the Earthlings' problem had now become everyone's problem, and they didn't care enough to wake Dib up. That didn't bother him or Tak, and nobody cared enough to ask why Tak wasn't including her own ideas in the conversation.

They all assumed that Tak was off doing something important and slightly irritatedly. Conspiring over their food problems was much more interesting.

They finagled and talked, until, when Dib awoke, they resorted to some sort of contest to determine whose idea was the smartest.

Dib awoke to the sights and sounds of some sort of Rock-paper-scissors and Ro-sham-bo.

The contest looked vaguely interesting, considering that it was the Almighty Tallest who were involved in it... And, wait a minute, why weren't they kicking each other in the crotch?! Well, Irkens apparently didn't have anything "down there", so... He stretched and got up, looking around for something to eat. The meat was still sitting there, but some of it was being cooked over the fire by Vick, Throbulator, and Starky.

"Hey, you guys...? Heyah! What about the rest of the meat?!" Dib shouted over the Tallest and Nessie's arguing.

"Uhhh...!" Nessie said, looking over at him and freezing half-way through a kick. "Oh...! Well, uhm...!"

"We were, uhm...! Just about to do something about it!..." Tallest Purple said, frozen in what looked like an almost-curtsy.

"Meat! Meat! The Magical Pruit! The more you eat, the more you, uhhh... D'oh! Hey, what rhymes with 'Pruit'?!" Shlooktapooxis was still singing cheers about it, making everyone stop a moment... He finally realized that things had stopped, but it took a couple of minutes.

"Yeah! Well, uhm! It was all everyone else's fault for not agreeing!" Tallest Red stated: completely ignoring the confused Shlooky, he pointed at the others and shrugged. He had lowered his hands from shooting a couple of "Scissors".

How had this game even COME to this? Nooobody knooooowwws~!

But, Dib apparently didn't care. "Then, why don't we use everybody's ideas?! We've got plenty of meat!" He gestured to the meat that was sitting, unattended, still in the same spot as it was.

The others paused as if they hadn't even considered this course of action... "OOOHHH!" The Tallest shouted at once.

"Now, why didn't WE think of that?!" Asked Vick, holding a hand to her chin in a surprised, thoughtful pose.

"Woah, well, now do I feel sort-of silly...!" Nessie admitted as he lowered his leg and scratched his head.

"You and me _BOTH_, sucker!" Tallest Red stated, still taking out his frustration on him.

"Yeah... _TELL_ me about it!" Tallest Purple sighed and relaxed his pose.

"Gee, what's you guys' problem!?" Nessie shouted.

"Be-CA~AAAUUUUSE! _We're_ the LEADERS~! You remember?!" Tallest Purple replied.

"Yeah, _everyone_ decided, REMEMBER?!" Tallest Red exclaimed in annoyance as he folded his arms, head up.

"Huugh!" Vick put a hand to her head. "We're never getting ANYWHERE if we all keep ARGUING like this!"

"Then YOU guys should've LISTENED to us!" Tallest Red retorted.

"But you guys don't have me- er, the same KIND of meat that WE have! How would YOU know what's the best way to preserve it?!" Dib asked this question simply and easily, with no hint of irritation.

"I believe that I can help to settle your question..." Tak came out from where she was hiding underneath the soil-monster's skeletal-remains/camp.

"HEY! That's where you were!" Vrilly exclaimed, pointing to her.

"Hey, why didn't you help us out earlier!?" Nessie exclaimed while pointing at her.

"She was on BREAK, remember?!" Tallest Purple shouted in irritation.

"Oh... Heh, sorry! I kind-of forgot!" Nessie replied, rubbing the back of his neck.

They moaned with annoyance before finally getting back down to business. Tak pulled out her scanner, and mentally glanced at Dib. He had slept for almost an hour, Irken time, -and however long that is, it's probably much longer than an Earth-hour. In any case, after he'd slipped into deep-sleep, she'd let him sleep.

There was no evidence that he'd even remembered their talks, and there was nothing more that she'd wanted him to...

However, there was one thing that was bothering her.

Time.

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**CHAPTER 9 END**

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AUTHOR'S NOTES: Phew! Finally, not only have I gotten this chapter out, but it's also much shorter than my other chapters have been! I hopefully can keep them to a reasonable half-novel-length instead of a full-novel-length~! *Laughs*

The plot continues to thicken...but, in the meantime, you will feel EVERY OUNCE OF PAIN and BOREDOM that the characters are feeling! *Evil laughter* Aaanyhow...

The next chapters I think are going to be a little easier. For some reason, this one was hard -probably because I was anticipating a plot-point, and that always makes me antsy~!

As for the story itself? I don't like portraying any of the alien races as super-evil or super-good, sos I'd like to think that the Control Brains would've anticipated certain events. I mean, you can only push people so far before they push back. They wouldn't have wanted a painful and expensive war with the conquered people in their empire! It would be logical to have a fall-back plan, just in case things started going wrong~! Even though they clearly didn't want to resort to it. At the very least, it would preserve the current placement of power, and keep from causing massive casualties.

Oh, and if you haven't heard of it before, pretty-please Read and Review~!


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Invader Zim, Adventure, Sci-Fi