Invader Zim 1. The Proposition

**_Disclaimer: Disclaimed. I do not own Invader Zim, or any rights, whatsoever._**

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Chapter one- The Proposition.

Gaz arrived at the set destination. "Okay, Whoever you are, what do you want?" she yelled into the open space surrounding her.

The figure took a step forward, all cloaked in black. "Good," he said sneakily. "You came." The handsome figure drew back his hood, revealing the almighty Zim!

Gaz rolled her eyes. "I've had enough with the theatrics. Tell me what you've dragged me out here for," she snapped, growing very angry.

The almighty Irken sighed. "Zim wants you to be my girlfriend," he said.

Gaz's mouth fell. "What?" she demanded in a dangerously low tone. "

Zim turned bright green. "That did not come out right. It's just... there's this girl that Zim likes, but she likes your brother, the Dib-stink."

Gaz rolled her eyes again. "Nice story, but what's that got to do with me?"

He sighed his exasperated. "Seriously? I thought it'd be obvious..."

"Now, Zim!" She lost all patience.

He scuffed his feet, but explained, "Zim needs you to pretend to be my girlfriend to make her jealous."

A look of pure hate Crossed Gaz's deathly pale face. "No." She started to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist.

"Gaz-human, if you do this for me, I'll give you exactly what you want."

He watched as Gaz rolled her eyes at him for, what seemed to be, the hundredth time in ten minutes. "I doubt that you, or any one else on this disgusting rock, knows what I want. Or will even listen for it. So, please, excuse my sarcasm."

Zim got one of his brilliant ideas. "So, you're saying that a life-time supply of Bloatie's Pizza will not make the Gaz-beast happy?"

The girl was immediately still. "What did you say? A life-time supply of Bloatie's?"

"Yep. If you do this one thing for me, I will personally buy every slice of pizza you eat at Blaotie's."

The infernal human and the most amazing Irken shook hands, sealing the deal.

* * *

Gaz woke up the the sound of her stupid brother Dib's voice. "Gaz, get up. You're gonna be late! Besides, I want to get to Skool before Zim. I just know that he's plotting something with some sinister forces. I must stop him!"

"I'll show you sinister forces if you ever wake me up like that again," she promised him. She could almost feel him wince.

"But, Gaz, I need to save this world! If not me, who else?"

She rolled her eyes. "No one. Let it burn."

Gaz could tell that Dib didn't know what to say. So, he just said," O-okay, j-just don't be late. You know that Dad hates it when we're late."

She was instantly angry at the mention of their father. "It's not like he's here to notice," she muttered bitterly long after he was gone.

Zim had agreed to meet up with her at 8:30 yesterday. It was 9:49, but to tell you the rough truth, she really didn't care.

"You're late," he snapped.

Gaz rolled her eyes. "You're lucky I'm doing this in the first place. Besides, once rumors get out that you and I are 'dating', my whole reputation will be ruined."

"Hey, Zim has given you a fair price!"

Suddenly, a new voice entered their conversation. "Zim!' cried the one and only, Dib. "What evil thoughts are you putting in my innocent sister's head?!"

"What?!" Zim screeched at the accusation. "I was only talking to my girlfriend, Dib- stink."

"What girlfriend? You couldn't get a girlfriend if your life depended on it!"

Zim smiled a vicious smile. "Little Gaz has finally expressed her undying love for the Almighty Zim, and is now his Love-Pig!"

"Gaz, is this true?" he asked. She almost broke right then and there.

She quickly made a mental note to never pretend to be the girlfriend of any of my brother's arch nemesises.

"Why, but of course. I just _love_ this... little... goofball. I can't believe that none of us saw it earlier. I mean, it's so obvious." She almost barfed at her own words and her voice supplying them.

"See, Dib?" bragged Zim.

"Well, Gaz wouldn't lie to me, but you also could have paid her to say that."

Gaz knew what Zim was doing even before he knew what he was doing. He took to evil steps forward and kissed her full on the mouth.


	2. The Couple's Intimacy

Chapter two- The Couple's Intimacy.

Zim took two steps towards Gaz, and kissed her full fledged on the mouth. He wanted nothing more than to push her away, but he knew that Dib was watching in open-mouthed shock. And this was too good an opportunity to pass up for torturing the Dib-stink.

Zim could feel the Gaz-human tense at his reaction, but she kissed back. Suddenly, she roughly grabbed the front of his Irken uniform and squeezed the skin underneath it with her hands. But Zim knew that she was only hurting him like that because he had kissed her without her permission.

She then pushed him away roughly and turned back to her idiot brother. "I don't lie, and if you so much as think I do, I will plunge you into a nightmare world from which there is no awakening!"

When the bus came and we got on, Zim pulled Gaz into the seat his amazing butt was sitting on. Dib was sitting with the Tak.

Zim closed his eyes and tried to picture what his future with Tak would be like. Surely, it'd have to be amazing. He could almost feel Dib's disappointment when he was sad and lonely and alone.

Gaz-human socked him really hard in the shin, pulling him out of his daydream. He winced in pain.

Zim glared at the infernal creature. "Yes?"

"Don't. Ever. Make. Me. Kiss. You. Again," she warned him slowly. "I. Will. Kill. You. If. You. Do."

Zim nodded, knowing full well that she meant exactly what she said, and much more pain to follow.

They rode the rest of the ride in silence. All Zim could hear was the sound of Tak and Dib laughing together. All other noises were distant and sickening.

When they got to Skool, Zim ditched Gaz at her classroom, and he ran as fast as he could to his own homeroom.

Tak was already sitting there, Dib beside her. Zim growled deeply under his breathe. He mentally kicked himself. He should have gotten there faster.

He walked up to Tak the moment class ended. "Did you hear that the magnificent Zim has a girlfriend?" Zim bragged, hoping for a rise of jealousy.

Tak just stood up calmly and pushed him out of the out her way.

Dib came over and smirked at him. "She's not really into you, Zim. Get over it."

He turned and walked after her. Zim felt his heart sink when their hands clasped.

* * *

At lunch, Zim grabbed the bothersome Dib's sister, the skool-wide feared Gaz. "Sit," he commanded her, pulling her down beside him.

She punched his shoulder. "Don't ever act like you're the boss of me again, or I'll kill you," she warned coldly.

Gaz pulled her Gameslave2 out and began playing it, letting the continuous beeps and whirrs drown out all other noise.

Tak walked by minutes later, Dib at her side. Zim was immediately jealous. "You having fun, Gaz. You are in the magnificent Zim's company! Laugh."

"No," was all that came.

Zim got angry at her. "You're acting like it's a bad thing to be around an incredibly amazing genius such as myself."

Gaz feigned a gasp. "I'm acting?" She retorted sarcastically.

"Dib-Sister, I'm paying you in Bloaties' pizza for your help. You must obey me."

Gaz eyes snapped her eyes open at that. She grabbed him by the throat. "Hear me now, Zim. I obey no one. I make my own rules."

Zim eyes started to tear up. "Yes. Zim has it."

Tak walked up to him. "Oh yes, she's a real fan of your's. I can see why you guys 'fell in love'. It's more likely you hypnotized her."

Gaz clenched her fists so tightly they were bright white. "Nobody hypnotizes me. EVER."

"Then how could you like someone that stupid?" inquired the Irken female.

The last of Gaz's control snapped. "I'll make you choke on those words," she growled out, only adding more fire to the rumors that she was part demon.

A snapped Gaz was not a good enemy to have. And Tak would learn that the hard way.


	3. When Pigs Fly

**_Ownership? (Sarcastically:) "Yes, cause I got it last night... when I turned into Jhonen Vasquez. And somehow became an artist. And a... boy," Pauses, rethinking it over, "Yeah. I own nothing."_**

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Chapter three- When Pigs Fly.

Gaz menacingly glaring down Tak. Something was about to go down. Something terrible. Zim could tell because Dib was trying to calm both women down.

"Gaz, it's not worth it," Zim heard him say to Gaz.

This made Gaz even angrier. "It's not to you. But to me, it's quite the opposite. Tak's needed to be put back into her place for a long time, and I've been itching to be the one to do it!"

Tak scoffed. "That's hardly how this is about to go."

This time, Dib tried on Tak herself. "Tak? Please."

But she was a steamed Irken, and there's no sense talking down such a passionate, blazing fire lit up in her eyes. She shook her head just as Zim suspected she would. So stubborn, so beautiful. Almost as almighty as Zim!

Dib didn't quite give up there. "Zim, do something! Gaz is _your_ girlfriend."

Crap! He almost forgot their fake roles. "Gaz-Human, settle down-"

"Zim, what have I told you about bossing me around? Do it again and I'll make you live to regret it."

Zim sighed, trying again. "Gaz, please sit down."

She scowled fiercely. "Nothing in the world can stop me from giving Tak exactly what she deserves. So sit back and enjoy the show."

Zim groaned. This is not what he signed up for!

* * *

Gaz staged herself in a bored position. She knew Tak's type. And she was the exact type that would fall for it and get beaten to a pulp for her insolence. But so long as she did, Gaz didn't care how. Gaz could almost taste the nikhedonia.

The human girl almost gave in involuntary shudder. What did Zim see is this twit anyway?

She shook her head and the thought away.

Gaz decided that, by giving Tak the first hit, she was being fair. After all, she was not as used to fighting as Gaz was. Especially on school grounds.

She moved quickly, trying to strike Gaz out with her left fist, then falling into a crunch position, aiming to kick Gaz's legs out from under her. Gaz observed and flipped out of reach, grabbing one of her arms and flipping her judo-style. She pulled her arms behind her back and held the stance with one knee on her back. She moved her other hand to a pressure point on the back of Tak's neck.

"Move and you get plunged into a never ending world of darkness," she warned, meaning every word, having every intention of sending her to the King Pig's court (he owes her a favor).

Tak didn't move, but being the terrible person Gaz is, she rendered her unconscious anyways. She heard cheering in the background, which she immediately silenced with a simple death-stare. They all fell silent.

Gaz smirked at Dib's reaction. He was staring at her like she'd killed his girlfriend. She rolled her eyes, trying to walk away from the crowd and the dramatics. But instead, Gaz found she was curious to see the look on Zim's face.

It took her less than a minute to find him. His eyes instantly found her cool, amber ones. She'd figured he'd be mad, but she was surprised to see something else there. Was that... pride?

And then he was speaking.

"Nice."

* * *

Zim watched as Gaz won the battle and the war. A strange feeling settled inside his stomach after watching Tak lose.

He'd been so mad at Gaz when she'd refused to listen to him, but now something else was replacing that rage. Something that he couldn't quite understand.

He watched as she turned to leave. But then, suddenly she turned around, looking for something. Well, someone. And he knew exactly who.

Zim moved towards the front of the crowd, making it easier for her to spot him. She stood only a few mere feet away from him.

She gazed at him. He met her eyes, daring her to break the eye-contact between them. She didn't, but she seemed surprised at something. Zim felt the edge of his lips curl up into something that could almost be classified as a smile- or a sadistic smirk, in the very least.

"Nice," he heard himself say, to his utmost surprise. He hide it well.

Her eyes widened.

Why had he said that aloud?

She closed her eyes once again, shaking her confusion off coldly. "I'll care about your opinion when pigs fly."

Zim smirked; always pigs with this girl.


	4. The Plague

Chapter four- The plague.

Gaz tried to avoid Zim for the rest of the day. It wasn't often the young girl felt embarrassment, but then, the Irken _had_ tried to call her out in public. She sighed and slid down the wall of the bathroom. It was the only place she would be safe from him.

There had been a few girls in there, but they'd ditched as soon as they saw her coming. And who in their right mind wouldn't? Gaz truly lived up to her reputation quite nicely.

The normal girl would have given into frustrated tears. But Gazlene Membrane wasn't the type of girl to cry, period. She knew better than that. Her pale fist found its way to the floor, pounding her frustration out in physical action. "I hate you, Zim!" She growled at nothing.

The pale teen forced herself to her feet and slumped over to the sink. She only truly felt awake when the water found its way onto her face. Not even bothering to wipe the liquid off, she stepped back out onto the dangerous grounds. "Something wrong?" A voice asked her calmly from behind. "I heard things I'd rather not question in there."

Gaz whipped around to face her "boyfriend." Her teeth gritted and her fists clenched. "No!" She spat at him. "Don't follow me, Zim."

The Irken pushed himself off the wall and followed behind her as she started walking away. She glared at him warningly. "Don't bother me."

Zim, being the stubborn Irken he was, refused to listen altogether. "Gaz-Human, Zim is your favorite earth slug, is he not? You are his Love-pig. Be my Love-pig!"

"No, go away!"

He grabbed her wrist before she could move. "You belong to the Almighty Zim! Command runs through my genes. Do not deny the genes!"

People were looking and Gaz had an agreement with this lunatic. Sugary sweetness spread through her lips as she forced a gentle simper onto her face.

"Of course not. There's no way I could ever compete with your almighty genes." The words were draped with poison as they came out of her mouth. Needless to say, any passerby was shocked to hear this from GAZ.

Gaz continued her charade with the perfect pokerface. A laugh exploded into the air- not a malicious gale, but rather a honey-coated chuckle.

Zim's eyes widened and his breathe hitched. What. The. Heck. "Gaz-Human, are you feeling alright?" Asked the very perplexed Irken Invader.

Now for the finishing touch. Gaz threw her arms around Zim and held him. "Of course!" She chittered. "I've never been happier, my love!"

Zim stared down at the bully who held him around the waist. She had her face buried into the front of his shirt. "I love you, Zim!" She cried again, the clothe only muffling her declaration.

He twitched uncomfortably and stared at her in the ultimate amazement. Have I done it? He thought. Have I tamed the beast?

And that's when his kneecap exploded into a tormenting pain. Gaz really did beam up at him this time. "Like I said, how could I ever compete with your genes? You BREATHE the title of idiot."

Zim didn't even try to go after her when she stalked triumphantly off.

The people around him ceased their panic. Gaz was still normal Gaz, thank God! Anything else would breed trouble. Zim almost smiled.

What a troublesome girl I have, he mused to himself.

The undeniable stares still stuck with him. He glared them off. "Quit staring, you filthy humans! Zim's business is not your's."

He stomped off towards his next class without so much as a glance at Dib, who'd seen the entire act. Gaz's older brother could only smirk at how all his hard work had paid off.

I did a good job of raising her, he decided. She knows better than to spend time with alien scum. Zim's obviously forcing her to act as his girlfriend. I bet she's scared out of her poor mind. I must save her!

Poor, poor deluded Dib had no clue what was really going on. Gaz was pulling all the strings, and Zim was just her puppet. Zim didn't quite know it either. A silly little goose chase that ends up nowhere.


	5. Date night: Part one

Chapter five- Date night: Part one.

"Gaz, wait!" Zim yelled.

She didn't wait. Instead, she started making her way through the bothersome crowd. Well, "making her way" maybe weren't the right words used to describe it. They parted way and formed two perfect lines around the fuming girl. Nobody in their right mind would have defied Gaz. Tak tried that and she'd ended up in the nurse's office. But again; nobody in their _right_ mind.

Footsteps continued to run after her as she trudged through. "I command you to stay!" The Irken commander ordered again.

They had already lost the crowd and were now alone. Gaz stopped moving when she'd gotten to her locker and slowly turned around to face him momentarily before going back to doing what she'd been doing. "What do you want, Zim?" She grumbled. "I'm busy, so hurry up."

He closed his eyes quickly to process the fact that she had even bothered listening to him in the first place. Maybe they were getting somewhere after all. He quickly explained, "I read that humans go on things called 'dates'."

She turned around again and shot him a look that told him she questioned whether he was an idiot or just insane. She crossed her arms over her chest and scowled. "Yeah. What's your point, Zim, besides being a raving idiot?"

She really did hate him, didn't she?! It was almost exhilarating. "We could go on one," he beamed, thinking his idea was absolutely brilliant and that he was absolutely faultless and amazing in every way imaginable.

Gaz thought the idea less so. She slammed her locker closed quickly and whipped around to face him completely. "No."

He scowled immediately dropped. The Gaz-Beast was displeased? He wouldn't take no for an answer this time. "I've already gotten us reservations," he informed her firmly. "And you will attend. This meal is mandatory!"

"Fine," conceded Gaz before his voice cracked an octave higher. "But if it's at something stupid, fancy restaurant, I'll seriously hurt you 'cause there's no way I'm going to get dressed up for you. And if this leaks out to any of the idiots that attend this school, you _will_ be sorry."

Zim made a mental note to ask Computer if it were possible to cancel a reservaton. But an evil thought crossed his mind, dissauding him of thar notion. Maybe he wouldn't cancel, after all. _I wonder what Gaz would look like in formal wear. Namely, in a dress._

Cue evil laughter from so-said raving lunetic.

* * *

Needless to say, all kids were eager to escape the "Doom, doom, doom," of Ms. Bitters, even if they immediately had to go straight to lunch. Only a person would steel lungs would be able to even inhale the scent looming in the air. It would be a god to be able to digest the food properly without getting sick.

Zim was neither of these things. Dib presently sat across from him, glaring at his obvious alien existence. Zim tried to calmly eat the food as peacefully as it would allow him before causing his body to erupt into a fit of stomach cramps and organ damage. Gaz sat beside him and snickered.

She even laughed when he began choking before coming to his rescue with the heimlich maneuver. "You idiot. Don't you know anything?" She scolded him with a glare. "Today's food is especially toxic. Better skip for today and try for suicide tomorrow."

He crossed his arms and scoffed. "For your information, Human, the Almighty Zim was not trying to kill himself."

Gaz raised an eyebrow. "Either way, eating that stuff will kill you sooner or later."

"Then what do you suggest I do, Love-pig?"

Her scowled deepened by inches. "First off, don't call me that. Second, why are you asking me? I'm less likely than my idiot brother to give you health tips."

With that, she pulled out her Game Slave 2 and proceeded to ignore the alien dimwitted beside her. Tak snorted and raised an eyebrow at Zim. He narrowed his eyes and scowled at his female counterpart.

Though they both had to admit Gaz had a point on that one. To give him health tips would have been a nice thing to do, and if you asked anyone, they'd say the same thing: Gaz was **_FAR_** from nice. Even a narcissist like Zim could see how much she hated him and the rest of the world. There was no way to kid himself about that one.

However, like most narcissists, he completely missed the point. "Tell me anyway."

The look he cast her warned her to be nice. They had a deal to complete, after all. The dark haired girl frowned at the silent reminder. "Fine. One; never eat the food here. Bring something from home next time. Two, your voice is making me sick. And three; don't ever bother me again, Zim..."

She went back to slaying her vampire piggies and cursing them as she did so. Zim could've smile at the girl he'd managed to bag. Dib took this as a sign that his sister was starting to break free of Zim's evil mind control. _Be strong, Gaz! _He silently willed her.

Tak rolled her eyes. "What was that I said before about her being a fan of your's? Oh, that's right... I still think she hates you."

Zim opened his mouth to protect his cover. But someone got there before him.

Gaz didn't left her gaze. But she'd heard the bratty Irken's comment. "Shut up, Tak. Maybe I was wrong before. Maybe it's _your_ voice I hate. So seal you lips before you force me to do it for you."

Zim's eyes widened. Gaz had come to his defense. Why? He shook his head and remembered their deal. She'd done it because if their cover got blown, she'd lose her benefits. Apparently Bloaties was worth this much to her.

No more snide comments passed through the Irken commander's lips after the warning. She'd been the victim of Gaz's wrath bad enough to know she would do anything to avoid it at any cost again.

"Gaz," Dib gasped. "Tak was just trying to help you. We know Zim has been mind controlling you!"

His younger sister scoffed. And here these goody-goody idiots thought she needed their protection. Why couldn't their pitiful brains piece it together that she could take them both down with a blink of the eye, if she so chose to?

Obviously she hasn't been blunt enough first time. Either way, she'd just have to try harder. Grabbing her brother's shirt collar, she pulled his forward and glared into his eyes. "Get this through your thick head, Dib," she growled. "I'm here because I chose to be. Mind control has nothing to do with it, so drop your stupid hypothesis and stop trying to fix what's not broken." Her eyes flicked towards Tak. Both. Of. You."

She released her grip and backed away from the table. "Hey, you," she snapped at a dumbfounded Zim. His eyes jerked into attention. He was surprised to see that somehow her expression had softened. "Let's get out of here. I'd had enough of prying eyes following me everywhere I go."

She didn't wait for his response, instead walking away without bothering to check if he was coming after her. Naturally, he'd taken it as his cue to stand up and follow after her. And true to her word, prying eyes followed them wherever they went.

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**_The rest to come soon. Thank you for all your great reviews. They're always a big help. XD_**


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Invader Zim, Drama, Humor