How do I break an unhealthy relationship pattern?
I want a secure relationship with someone that wants to be with me and who will actually put effort into it.
I seem to gravitate toward unavailable men and those that want intimacy and no relationship. I let men dictate and control me because they accuse me of being controlling. I let men emotionally abuse me and I am at their beck and call.
I am not comfortable being alone or doing anything by myself. I feel I need the security of someone being around just to survive. I know what I'm doing wrong and I do it anyway just hoping things will change. How do I stop this behavior and thought process?
Relationship Dissolution 
<p><span style="line-height: 1.42857;">Here are some things I'm wondering:</span><br></p><ul><li>Do you have close friends that you can talk to, trust, and who can be around sometimes when you're in between relationships?</li><li>What do you like about yourself? What are your strongest points?</li><li>Do you think you have been in relationships with controlling than in the past because it makes you feel as though you are worth something to them?</li><li>What kind of relationship you want to be in?</li><li>What are the top three or four attributes of the type of partner you want?</li><li>What can you do to make yourself emotionally safe during your typical daily activities?</li><li>Can you notice a list of things that you can control throughout a typical day? For example, you probably choose what to wear, what to eat, how to talk to others, how committed you are to school or work, etc.</li></ul><p>It also sounds as if it may be helpful to discover more about yourself in addition to what you look for in a partner.</p><p>As far as emotional abuse, it may be useful to develop communication skills that you could use prior to their relationship progressing to the point that it is emotional abuse.</p><p>Thank you for reaching out to ask questions. If the questions that I've asked here are difficult for you to answer or are overwhelming, talking with a local therapist would probably be something I would suggest.</p>