How do I learn to let go of past problems and live one day at a time?
I would like to be able to have more positive relationships in the present.
Social Relationships
<p style="margin-top:0in;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:7.5pt;margin-left:0in;
line-height:15.0pt"><span style="font-size: 10.5pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-size: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial;">Staying present is an attitude most of us aspire
to, and most of us have to work at it—certainly at first. I’m here to tell you
that living in the now or being mindful is a skill anyone can learn. Unfortunately,
the only way to do it is to do it. What a paradox! But there are plenty of
other skills that we are not born with: walking on stilts, riding a bike,
swimming, and driving a car are good examples. You can’t learn them by reading about
them.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-top:0in;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:7.5pt;margin-left:0in;
line-height:15.0pt"><span style="font-size: 10.5pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-size: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial;">Having said that, I can recommend two books on
the subject: Eckhart Tolle’s <i>The Power of
Now </i>and David Richo’s <i>When the Past
is Present. <o:p></o:p></i></span></p><p style="margin-top:0in;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:7.5pt;margin-left:0in;
line-height:15.0pt"><span style="font-size: 10.5pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-size: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial;">Richo asks that we don’t beat ourselves up about dwelling on
past events. This is nature’s way of reminding us that we have unfinished
business. But while we are attended to the wounds and confusion that litter our earlier lives, we can prepare to inhabit the expanded present that awaits us.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-top:0in;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:7.5pt;margin-left:0in;
line-height:15.0pt"><span style="font-size: 10.5pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-size: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial;">He offers three helpful steps to making any important life
change:<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-top:0in;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:7.5pt;margin-left:0in;
line-height:15.0pt"><b><span style="font-size: 10.5pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-size: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial;">Step One:</span></b><span style="font-size: 10.5pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-size: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial;"> Hold in awareness the behavior,
belief, attitude, or characteristic you want to change in yourself and how you
want to be different. Awareness is the opposite of distraction and stuffing.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-top:0in;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:7.5pt;margin-left:0in;
line-height:15.0pt"><b><span style="font-size: 10.5pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-size: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial;">Step Two:</span></b><span style="font-size: 10.5pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-size: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial;"> Live as if you have
already made the change. (This is hard and takes courage, but you can do it.
Ride that bike—even if for a foot or two.)<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-top:0in;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:7.5pt;margin-left:0in;
line-height:15.0pt"><b><span style="font-size: 10.5pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-size: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial;">Step Three: </span></b><span style="font-size: 10.5pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-size: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial;">Be persistent.
(Practice, practice, practice.)<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="margin-top:0in;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:7.5pt;margin-left:0in;
line-height:15.0pt"><span style="font-size: 10.5pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-size: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial;">Just as two-year-olds are able to walk
confidently after hundreds of hours of practice, you’ll be able to stay in the
here and now as long as you want after trying and failing many, many times.<o:p></o:p></span></p><p>















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