My fiancé cheated. How can we mend our relationship?
I'm in a relationship with my fiancé and I currently found out that she's been cheating on me with a co-worker. I was very upset none the less. I understand what she did was wrong, but I want to spend the rest of my life with her. So I'm willing to forgive and move on. We have been together for a little over 9 years, and we have a son. At the beginning of our relationship, I was unfaithful and she caught me cheating. She forgave me for what I've done to her and since then I been completely faithful. I'm worried about our relationship and want to move forward  but its been very unsettling. All I can think about is her with another man. I don't know what to do or where to go for advice?
Relationships
<p>I'm sorry for the stress and unhappiness stemming the problem you describe.</p><p>Trust your instinct that there is more complexity to feeling good about being in a partnership than simply wanting this to happen.</p><p>In any relationship, the complexities of each person combine. &nbsp; Often people accept when this feels good and are lost as to what to do when natural human complexity, doesn't match up with our partner in the way we'd like.</p><p>A couples' therapist would be able to help each of you talk about the factors motivating the cheating, as well as clarify the reasons you each have for continuing to stay together.&nbsp;</p><p>The unique advantage of couple's therapy is that each person is able to hear their partner talk out loud about themselves and their partner.</p><p>This is sometimes enormously helpful since our inner thoughts are often hidden yet very dominant in how we direct ourselves in relationships.</p><p>Sometimes the initial consult session offers enough new understanding that a second session wouldn't be necessary for a while.</p><p>Good luck in finding your relationship happiness!</p>