She had pursued farming, writing, and other life-styles; had joined various religious groups; and had searched the realms of psychology and philosophy in hopes of discovering an answer, but she had never found what she was looking for.
找個滿意的答案。她藉著到山上耕地、寫作、學習皮雕…… 等的生活方式，希望找到真理。她也接觸過密宗、參加宗教團契，並從心理學、哲學的領域中，試圖解釋世間的種種現象，總是無法如願。