Lu explains that as children people yearn for the affection of their parents; as adolescents they want the affirmation of their peers; and as adults, they set their sights on educational qualifications, finding a good job, making money, marrying a good spouse and so forth. Everyone puts the emphasis on outward manifestations of success, and this emphasis on the glitter of outward achievement continues up to middle age.
她指出，兒童會冀求父母的寵愛，青少年希望同儕的肯定，成年後則希望拿到學位、找到理想工作、升官發財、娶一位美嬌娘… …，每個人都是活在外界的期許中，以外鑠的成就為成就──直到中年。