When her physical condition was at its worst, she imagined she wasn't a cancer patient or supposed how wonderful it would be if the doctors had diagnosed wrong, to the point even of comparing the surgeon to the butcher Pao Ting in Chuang Tzu. The butcher is also a surgeon: "In his eyes, what am I but a whole cow, or a bundle of bones, ten-dons and meat?"
她身體情況最糟的時候，想到假如自己不是得癌症，或者醫師診斷錯誤該有多好，甚至形容說外科醫師就像莊子筆下的屠伕庖丁，屠伕也是外科醫師，「在他的眼中，我是一頭全牛，還是一些牛骨頭牛筋和骨肉？」