In other words, if I was spiritually unable to pass the test, and could not conquer the terror of dying, no matter what the final outcome I would have felt very ashamed. This would be like a businessman losing even his initial investment. This sense of shame more or less inspired me to believe that I had no choice but to overcome fear.
換句話說，如果我在精神上過不了這關，無法克服對死亡的恐懼，不論最後結果如何，我會感到很羞愧，這就好像作生意的人連本錢都丟掉了一樣。