The consequence of lacking his father's guidance was that, as Yan wrote, "my mouth struggled against my heart and my desires struggled against my sentiments, so that I often regretted one day that which I had done the previous day." In short, he was continually caught in a struggle between right and wrong.
沒有父親好好教導的後果，是自己「心共口敵，性與情競，夜覺曉非，今悔昨失」，在對錯間遊移掙扎；字裡行間同時透露著對時局變幻無常的憂懼。