I'm Not Faking It (Mxm)
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							<h1 class="p-title-value">I'm Not Faking It (Mxm)
	
	

	

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			<a href="/threads/im-not-faking-it-mxm.128687/" class="u-concealed"><time class="u-dt" dir="auto" datetime="2015-08-02T15:58:54-0400" data-time="1438545534" data-date-string="Aug 2, 2015" data-time-string="3:58 PM" title="Aug 2, 2015 at 3:58 PM">Aug 2, 2015</time></a>
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Ali slapped the alarm quickly before it could wake up his parents...as if he needed more trouble. He threw on his varsity jacket and hastily looked around for his pants, finding them a few seconds too late as the banging noises on his door began. Rushing as quickly as one could with their pants around their ankles and the inability to run (yet), Ali opened the door panting.<br>
<br>
<br>
"I don't understand," said Bethy, a coy look on her soon-to-be fourteen year old face. "When you heard me knocking, were you rushing to get your pants on, or off?"<br>
<br>
<br>
"Sis, gross," complained Ali, although he did chuckle. "Sorry about that. I, uh..." What was he supposed to say, exactly? That the only friend Stepfather expressly forbid him from seeing was in the room for the night? The situation already wasn't looking too appropriate, and no doubt Bethy would tell his parents everything he said.<br>
<br>
<br>
"I had a girl over last night." Bethy snorted through her nose at his contrived excuse, then shoved off.<br>
<br>
<br>
"Whatever, loser. I sleep next to you, remember? If there was a girl, I'd know."<br>
<br>
<br>
She waddled off to the top of the stairs, before calling over her shoulders, "Lazy's making pancakes. Oh, and tell Elyas I said hi."<br>
<br>
<br>
"What's that supposed to mean?" Ali scoffed, narrowing his eyes.<br>
<br>
<br>
"Nothing, nothing," said Beth, winking. "You have classes together, right?"<br>
<br>
<br>
When she left, Ali quickly slammed and locked the door, undressing back down to his tank top and boxers and climbing in bed next to his friend.<br>
<br>
<br>
"Elyas. El. Wake up." He leaned over and shook his best friend's shoulder. "We cant keep hiding, dude. I cant keep faking not being your friend. We have to do something." Fearing that Elyas had not yet woke, he leaned down and whispered "El...I know you're in there." Commence ear licking.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Elyas was warm and comfortable. He float around his dreams aimlessly, completely at peace and in the perfect position possible. It wasn't often that he actually got to sleep like this, having problems forcing himself to sleep, so he didn't want to wake up any time soon. Unfortunately, his best friend had other ideas. Getting a shiver down his spine, the man's eyes fluttered open, and he squirmed around until he was away from the tongue on his ear.<br>
<br>
<br>
Giving a little groan, Elyas sat up grogily and rubbed his face, a sleepy expression clouding his face. "Whuh?" looking at his friend in confusion, he tilt his head to the side as if prompting for an explanation of why he was awake. He felt his hair, a little longer than one would consider normal for a boy, fall over his shoulder from his head tilt, and he reached to the floor where his bag lay. Rustling around in it for a while, he pulled out a hair tie and put up his hair in a loose ponytail, short and cute. Mostly, it was just to keep it out of his face.<br>
<br>
<br>
While waiting for an answer, he stretched out his body and cracked his joint, still kind of wishing he were asleep right now.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"My parents. I can't keep hiding you. There has to be something-" Ali was in the middle of his sentence when someone began banging on the door again; someone stronger, and with more force. "That's my step-dad. Climb under the covers and don't say a word," whispered Ali. "And don't fall back asleep. You'll snore." Rising again and giving just one fearful glance back at his friend to make sure he did what he was told, he headed for the door.<br>
<br>
<br>
"Yes, father dearest?" He asked, opening the door and sticking out his tongue.<br>
<br>
<br>
"You little snot! Drop and give me twenty!"<br>
<br>
<br>
"Really?" asked Ali, and the now ex-general sighed, putting his hand to his forehead.<br>
<br>
<br>
"No. I- Your sister said you snuck a girl in here?"<br>
<br>
<br>
"Uh, yeah. I did," lied Ali, turning beet red (as was his signature tell). Luckily, his stepfather never made an effort to get to know him very well, despite the length of time they'd lived together, and must have just assumed he was embarrassed.<br>
<br>
<br>
"I-I'm proud of you, son," said Steve, laying a hand down hard on his shoulder, causing Ali to wince. It was a moment before he realized his stepfather's words and beamed.<br>
<br>
<br>
"Really?"<br>
<br>
<br>
"Yeah. I mean, ever since you started hanging out with that Elyas boy..."<br>
<br>
<br>
"Father."<br>
<br>
<br>
"I've been worried about you becoming, you know. A f-"<br>
<br>
<br>
"A gay person? Like Elyas? Ya, I'm not worried about that." Ali was done with this conversation. "I'll see you at breakfast. Okay, bye dad!" he said, slamming the door and relocking. He turned around, exasperated.<br>
<br>
<br>
"Do you see what I mean?"</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Although he liked to pretend that those words didn't hurt him, they really struck a nerve. Elyas was gayer than all hell, and he'd finally felt himself when he figured it out. Unfortunately, his best friend's step father...wasn't so keen on I'm uncultured like him. Sighing once the door was closed again, he was much more awake than before, and a lot less happy too.<br>
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"I do see..." he responded quietly, pulling his knees up to his chest and pressing his face into them. Was it really that bad to be gay? Women liked men. Why was it bad for a man to like men?<br>
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"I don't know what we can do, though." Elyas closed his eyes. "There's no really...getting around your step dad. He doesn't want you around a I'm uncultured like me."<br>
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The words felt bitter in his mouth, and he had the urge to spit. "I don't know why he thought I would turn you gay, though. Doesn't he know it's not how it works?"</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Ali chuckled, although in no way did he find this situation funny. Plunking down next to his friend, he force squeezed him into a hug. "He probably hasn't looked into it," said Ali, frowning. He wanted to say something to make Elyas feel better, but there wasn't much he could do. "You're not a f...You just like guys. I promised I wouldn't let that change anything between us, and have I let it? No." They even slept in the same bed still, even when it meant sneaking Elyas in and making Ali all sorts of uncomfortable. (Nature or nurture? Was it in his DNA to be uncomfortable around gay people, or did it have something to do with living with Steve?) He paused. "Elyas, you mean so much to me. Don't feel bad, okay? Maybe my dad doesn't know it yet, but you're the best friend I've ever had. Gay or straight or other."<br>
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<br>
Elyas's words gave Ali pause for thought. Rarely ever did he carefully consider anything, which may have been why his plans rarely ever went right. "Maybe, but that's not his choice to make," Ali pointed out. "I'm a grown ass man, and so are you." Suddenly, it hit him like a ton of bricks...but there was no way Elyas would go for it.<br>
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"We wouldn't have to go around him...if that was how it worked." He shook his head. "What if we faked it?"</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"...Faked it?" Raising an eyebrow, he turned to his friend who he was now leaning into thanks to the forced hug. "What do you mean?" If he was saying what he thought he was saying...No, that couldn't be right. Even if Ali tried to hide it, Elyas could tell he was pretty uncomfortable with the fact that he was gay. The only reason it didn't bother Elyas was because Ali made a genuine effort to make sure that he felt comfortable and happy in his own skin. They were best friends, after all.<br>
<br>
<br>
Still, he was willing to try just about anything at this point. The loss of the most important person in his life would fucking suck. Not to mention, he wasn't sure he'd remember to eat or sleep... Ali always called him when he was at work to make sure he didn't die or something.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"I mean...if we pretended to date..." Ali asked, raising an eyebrow. He knew Elyas was more intelligent than that. Still, he chuckled at the thought of his mother (who was truthfully one thousand times worse than her husband) and her reaction to this. She'd be absolutely livid. "Imagine this: I'm at work, catering to my noisy and annoying clientele, when it comes time for me to take my lunch break. My mother, who brings me lunch because she doesn't like me eating the 'garbage' they have arrives, but I don't notice. I'm busy, talking to you. You're sitting at a booth, with your legs over the shortest side, facing the door. I'm leaning over you, having some sort of conversation. We're holding hands. You see her from over my shoulder, and give me the signal when she sees us...squeezing my hand extra hard. I kiss..." He paused, but it was already too late to take back. Ali knew Elyas had heard. "I kiss you." His stomach turned. Ali didn't like the thought of kissing a guy, but he definitely didn't want to kiss Elyas- not that he'd thought of it before. "They'd be forced to start accepting it...and you...eventually." They wouldn't just give up on their oldest son, would they? Ali hadn't ever considered that before. But god, he didn't want to actually do it. He wanted to say it- to prove how far he was willing to go for Elyas. He didn't want to actually kiss him. "It's totally up to you, Elyas. Completely your choice. We don't have to." <i>I don't want to. </i></div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Elyas blinked. It wasn't like he was going to pretend that he hadn't thought about Ali that way every once and a while, but it was a shock to hear him talking like this. God damn, he felt his heart pick up at the thought of....kissing...<br>
<br>
<br>
But unlike Ali, he didn't have a very noticeable tell, so he just shrugged and gave him a little smile. "If you think that will work, then I'll go for it. I want to be able to hang around you without sneaking around all the time." he admitted. "But only do it if you think you're ok with it. I don't want you being uncomfortable or something."<br>
<br>
<br>
He'd never take advantage of his friend but...an opportunity like this only came once in a lifetime, and after all- Ali was the one who had brought it up in the first place.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Ali nodded, agreeing with the sneaking around portion of his friend's acceptance speech. It was Elyas's choice, after all- he had made that clear. Then he heard the second half. "El..." He didn't know what to say, but he certainly wasn't going to tell Elyas the truth: that was absolutely out of the question. "I'm not..." <i>I'm not comfortable with this. I should never have brought it up. </i>"I'm not uncomfortable with you." Big breath. "At all." He broke the hug and pulled away, scooching to be inches apart on his bed. He stared at his hands for a moment, marveling at them, before pitching forward to kiss Elyas. He held it for just a few seconds before breaking away, staying where he was. "I'm not. Uncomfortable. With. You." He loved Elyas. He really did. Just not this lip-locking way. Oh, well. That was the point of faking it, right? "I don't want to hear you say something like that again."<br>
<br>
<br>
He sighed, then decided it was time for the awkward moment to be over. "I'm going downstairs. I'll bring you back some pancakes and then help you sneak out of my room." Ali had to climb out of the window first, so if Elyas fell, he wouldn't be hurt. "Love you. No homo. See you in a bit."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Elyas was left in a shock.<br>
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The kiss had been warm and gentle, and left sparks going through him even when Ali pulled away. It was kind of obvious he was at least a little uncomfortable, but it made him feel better to know that at least Ali was trying. He could only manage a little nod as his friend left the room, and then his hand came up to touch at his lips, still feeling little tingles. His heart fluttered fast, and his face had a small blush on it- it wasn't often that he actually kissed someone, or even had a relationship. Elyas was always too busy with work or school, and not many people took the time to get to know him.<br>
<br>
<br>
But Ali...Ali knew just about everything about him. The two of them had been inseparable for years, and although he'd never acted on it, he had to admit that he'd been looking. He was always happiest when he was around Ali, and he was always going the distance for him. It made him feel important and special...but he was straight. And there was nothing Elyas could do about that.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"Brought you pancakes," Ali said gruffly, his voice low so that no one could hear him outside of his bedroom. "And syrup. Just don't spill it on my bed or it will never come out, and I'll never hear the end of it." Lazy was the one who did all the housechores, since Bethy went to a special school where the kids were given numerous weird and time consuming homework assignments and Ali was fully employed. He sat down on the bed and licked his fingers. He'd brought up two of the original five pancakes. Three had survived the trip up the stairs. "You okay, bud?" he asked, noticing Elyas looked a little flushed. "I can get you some stuff if you're feeling sick." He grabbed up his varsity jacket (you're gonna laugh-he was on the varsity chess team) and threw the arms around El's shoulders. "Just so you're not cold."<br>
<br>
<br>
As Elyas did whatever with the pancakes, Ali looked at the clock. It was almost time for Bethy and Lazy to get to school, and for Ali's parents to get to work, which meant at least three hours alone with Elyas. Usually he could convince Elyas to play frisbee with him, but maybe today he'd let Elyas decide what to do, since he <i>was </i>doing such a great thing for Ali's parents. "I can't wait to be alone with you. What do you wanna do today? I'll do anything you say."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Oh god, he was only making it worse. But Elyas just mumbled a small thank you and began to eat, careful not to get it on the bed. He didn't really like the feeling of being sticky anyway, so he was careful not to get it on his fingers either. Soon, he'd finished, and he turned to Ali to listen to what he had to say, and then thought about it. "....Hm. I'm not sure." he wasn't usually the one who picked their events. "We could play frisbee? I know you like that."<br>
<br>
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To be honest, Elyas didn't really care what he was doing as long as they were spending time together. They might as well do something that Ali liked; Elyas' interests included things that were mostly quiet and 'boring', so he didn't want to force his friend into that position.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Ali frowned. "We <i>could </i>play Frisbee. We <i>could </i>play a lot of things." Had he implied something there? Well, he hadn't noticed, in any case. "Is that what you really want to do?" As he sat there, a growing dread came over him in the form of an idea. "We could plan...you know. We can't just wing this..." He chuckled. "At least you're not bad at kissing. I've had so many girlfriends who just had no idea what they were doing, or had bad lips...but <i>you</i>, you're alright." Was this an awkward topic of conversation? Ali was feeling strange. Then he realized... "I, uh..." He blushed. "I didn't like it or anything. You're still a guy, whether you have decent lips or not. And you're my friend. And whatever." Why was he feeling so hot and uncomfortable? "Are you done with your pancakes? Do you wanna play Frisbee? We could walk Parce and Frisbee or go to a bar or play videogames or c..." He was running down the list of things they <i>usually </i>did, though not necessarily in that order. Maybe 'cuddling', he reflected before he finished, wasn't the right action to suggest. "There's lots of fun things we can do. Whatever you want. Buddy. Pal."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">If there was something to define the definition of 'n-no homo guys...' it was this moment right here, and Elyas wasn't sure how he was supposed to react. On one hand, it was absolutely adorable, watching him get all flustered trying to talk about this kind of stuff, but on the other, it was obviously making the other very uncomfortable and he was trying so hard to deny any kind of homosexual implications that somehow, Elyas just wasn't quite buying it.<br>
<br>
<br>
"Planning sounds like a good idea. We wouldn't want them to catch on." He agreed, although he was only doing so because he was curious about what his friend would do. "And yes, I'm done with the pancakes. They were really good...as usual."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"Okay," said Ali, and took the opportunity to leave the room, Elyas's plate in hand. In the hallway, he cursed himself. "What was that? 'I-It's not like I like you or anything!'" he mocked. "Like a stupid schoolgirl on one of his shows..." It wasn't clear whether he was referring to Elyas or Lazy. It didn't matter, really. They seemed to be into all the same shows. "God, he probably thinks I'm in love with him now or something." He shoved the plate into the dumbwaiter and hit the button going down before returning to his room, phone in hand. 'Hmm', he thought, as he opened the door, an idea striking. Waiting until the mischievous look was inevitably wiped off his face, he entered the room. "El," he whispered, glancing down. "I have something to tell you. It's super important, and I can't wait any longer."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Oh god, what was this. Elyas' face turned to one of shock and confusion, and the demeanor just threw in some disbelief. Holy shit, what was happening?? "Y-yes?" Cursing himself for stuttering, he felt some of his hair fall from the messy pony tail and into his face, to which he absentmindedly tucked behind his ear. No no no, this wasn't real. He had to be joking, right? Ali was the straightest (or at least, the one in most denial) guy he'd ever met! Forcing himself not to panic, he waited expectantly for the other to finish speaking.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"I-I think I'm gay." It took a lot less effort than Ali had expected not to laugh. Hmm, maybe there was something to this...? Nah. "I mean, I've been thinking about it for a while, and I...the girlfriends I've had aren't as satisfying as the relationships I've had with some of my guy friends. And, I, um....there's this one guy in particular that I think I...I mean he...and he's gay too, so it's not like it would be so far fetched." Ali glanced at Elyas, then looked away. His signature tell- the blush- only made him look embarrassed and sincere. "I think I'm in love with him, but I don't know how to say it. I mean..." Ali looked back at him, staring him straight in the face. "How do you tell someone to their face, 'I love you, Elyas'?" Moments later, he was covering his mouth. "Oops. I guess like that."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">What.<br>
<br>
<br>
WhAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT????<br>
<br>
<br>
Elyas stared in absolute shock at his friend, frozen in his spot on the bed, as he tried to calm himself down and think rationally about all this. Ok, ok, he could deal with this? Your crush confessing to you in the most adorable way possible? No big deal. Lies. LIES IT WAS A HUGE DEAL??? He opened his mouth several times to try and talk, try to find the words to respond, but his face was a red that battled no other, and his heart beat so fast he swore that it wasn't even beating anymore. Fuck, fuck, fuck.<br>
<br>
<br>
The familiar feeling of being pulled into darkness tugged at his mind, and he fell backwards completely onto the bed, out like a light. This happened often, although it was usually because he'd been unable to sleep.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"Ugh, El!" yelled Ali, as his friend collapsed onto the bed. "El..." Maybe Ali had gone too far this time. He'd never done anything before that had caused Elyas to faint (well, one time he'd knocked El out, but that was completely an accident). He had to wake him up, and explain the prank. "Elyas...if you wake up right now I wont pee on you." said Ali. "No, okay. Well, I wasn't going to pee on you anyway. Lucky for you." The best course of action, Ali decided, was to lick him again: that usually worked to wake him up. Otherwise, he would have to find smelling salts, and he had some idea that his mother had gotten rid of them shortly after his stepfather forbid "that f*g" from ever returning to their humble abode. "Elyas!" he yelled, then licked his cheek. The boy tasted like salt...</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"Eugh." he grumbled, hand automatically going to his face where his friend had licked his cheek. He wiped off the saliva and his eyes opened, vision blury at first and then coming into focus. What...oh, he'd passed out. That's right. He stared at Ali with a concerned, unhappy expression. "Did you mean that?" he asked, feeling weak in the knees. "About...being gay and...and..." he couldn't even force the words out, it was just...he'd accepted the fact that his affection was never going to be returned, and it just came as such a sudden shock...<br>
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"And liking me." Somehow Elyas managed to finish, staring at his friend expectantly. He wasn't sure if he hoped it was true or not.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Ali stared at him darkly for a moment before bursting into unconstrained laughter. When he was finally finished, he looked back at Elyas with a shit-eating grin. "Do I look like the type of guy who could fall for a man? Especially a man like <i>you</i>." He laughed again, tears forming anew in his eyes. "No, man, I was making a point. Don't take everything I say so seriously. In fact, don't take anything I say so seriously." He stuck out his tongue. "And besides, you're, like, the friend-love of my life. Even if I did want you, do you think I'd do anything to jeopardize the friendship?" Then he waggled his eyebrows. "Unless you want me to like you? Do ya, do ya, do ya?" Now he was just teasing the boy. He grabbed him and pulled him into another hug. "Seriously, though...love you."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Elyas felt himself completely die inside. Usually, he never got mad at Ali, but something like this made him have this unsettling tight feeling in his chest. He pushed his friend away and wrapped his arms around himself, looking away. "Don't joke about stuff like that." he grumbled, voice firm. "It's not funny!!" Elyas got to his feet and huffed. "I'm gonna take a shower, ok? Get the frisbee or something..."<br>
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"El!" Ali wasn't sure what he was more upset by- the fact that Elyas was so upset (and didn't think his prank was funny? Of course it was funny!) or the fact that he'd left Ali's bedroom without Ali's permission and go-ahead. Quickly Ali followed him into the bathroom, relieved that the coast was clear, closing the door behind him. "Are you nuts?" he yelled. "You can't just wander into the hallway alone! My siblings could have seen you! My <i>parents </i>could have seen you!" He groaned as he realized something, his face slowly filling with that horrid red color. "Ellie..." he whimpered. He rarely ever called Elyas by that nickname, and when he did, he meant serious business. "Are you wearing pants?"</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Elyas paused when he heard Ali talk. "...no." He replied, a similar blush coming to his own face. "But my shirt is long so it should be ok..." responding quietly, he absentmindedly pulled his shirt down to cover everything again. "And I didn't see anyone when I went out. Now turn around so I can get undressed and get in the shower." He really needed to clear his head, and Ali's family was supposed to leave soon anyway.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Ali looked at the (slightly) younger boy, taking in what was a sight to see. He looked like he was wearing a dress. He looked like a she...A wave of protectiveness crashed over Ali, and before anything else could happen, he found himself hugging Elyas as hard as he could. "Please be careful, Elyas." It was like all the worry he'd had, ever since Elyas had come out, had washed over him. "I don't want to lose you. I can't lose you." He rubbed Elyas's back. "I love you so much, Ellie, and I just worry about you constantly and, and, what if something happens to you? What would I do without you?" He was...crying? Ali never cried. Not since he'd taken his first steps out of that wheelchair two years ago. "I can't keep staying away from you. I can't do it. I'm glad we'll make our parents understand..." He sniffled. "I don't know what the devil has gotten into me today." He broke the hug. "Sorry. I'll leave you to shower in peace."</div>
				
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						<li><a href="/members/the-duke.81898/" class="username " dir="auto" data-user-id="81898" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" id="js-XFUniqueId95">the duke</a></li>
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	<div class="structItem structItem--thread is-prefix64 js-inlineModContainer js-threadListItem-551679" data-author="Cealen">

	
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						<a href="/1x1/?prefix_id=64" class="labelLink" rel="nofollow"><span class="label label--lightGreen" dir="auto">Fantasy</span></a>
					
				
				<a href="/threads/azure-seas-cealen-pluvian_penguin.551679/" class="" data-tp-primary="on" data-xf-init="preview-tooltip" data-preview-url="/threads/azure-seas-cealen-pluvian_penguin.551679/preview" id="js-XFUniqueId102">── .✦ azure seas [cealen &amp; pluvian_penguin]</a>
	

	

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						<a href="/1x1/?prefix_id=68" class="labelLink" rel="nofollow"><span class="label label--rpnpurple" dir="auto">Realistic or Modern</span></a>
					
				
				<a href="/threads/greet-the-world-private-w-lillymity-with-open-arms.551510/" class="" data-tp-primary="on" data-xf-init="preview-tooltip" data-preview-url="/threads/greet-the-world-private-w-lillymity-with-open-arms.551510/preview" id="js-XFUniqueId110">greet the world [private w/ lillymity] with open arms</a>
	

	

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						<a href="/1x1/?prefix_id=64" class="labelLink" rel="nofollow"><span class="label label--lightGreen" dir="auto">Fantasy</span></a>
					
				
				<a href="/threads/wrong-forum-pls-ignore.551281/" class="" data-tp-primary="on" data-xf-init="preview-tooltip" data-preview-url="/threads/wrong-forum-pls-ignore.551281/preview" id="js-XFUniqueId118">Wrong Forum, Pls Ignore :(</a>
	

	

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						<li><a href="/members/sisyphus26.110411/" class="username " dir="auto" data-user-id="110411" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" id="js-XFUniqueId119">Sisyphus26</a></li>
						<li class="structItem-startDate"><a href="/threads/wrong-forum-pls-ignore.551281/" rel="nofollow"><time class="u-dt" dir="auto" datetime="2024-12-17T15:29:48-0500" data-time="1734467388" data-date-string="Dec 17, 2024" data-time-string="3:29 PM" title="Dec 17, 2024 at 3:29 PM">Dec 17, 2024</time></a></li>
						


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						<a href="/members/sisyphus26.110411/" class="username " dir="auto" data-user-id="110411" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" id="js-XFUniqueId120">Sisyphus26</a>
					
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	<div class="structItem structItem--thread is-prefix63 js-inlineModContainer js-threadListItem-551657" data-author="throwaway_png">

	
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						<a href="/1x1/?prefix_id=63" class="labelLink" rel="nofollow"><span class="label label--rpnhotpink" dir="auto">Fandom</span></a>
					
				
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						<li><a href="/members/throwaway_png.110044/" class="username " dir="auto" data-user-id="110044" data-xf-init="member-tooltip" id="js-XFUniqueId124">throwaway_png</a></li>
						<li class="structItem-startDate"><a href="/threads/n-a.551657/" rel="nofollow"><time class="u-dt" dir="auto" datetime="2024-12-28T00:01:03-0500" data-time="1735362063" data-date-string="Dec 28, 2024" data-time-string="12:01 AM" title="Dec 28, 2024 at 12:01 AM">Dec 28, 2024</time></a></li>
						


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							<h1 class="p-title-value">I'm Not Faking It (Mxm)
	
	

	

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					<div class="bbWrapper">His heart fluttering lightly in his chest, he couldn't help but hug his friend back, and held onto his shirt when he tried to pull away. "You need to stay here so if someone knocks you can say you're taking a shower." he explained. "I'll be ok, Ali!" Elyas reassured. "Don't worry about me. Worry about yourself." He gave him a kind smile and then began to undress so he could get into the shower, which he turned on. He pulled off his shirt and put it on the counter next to the sink, along with his underwear. "I'll be quick."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"Uh..." Ali muttered, accidentally staring as his friend undressed, not wanting to say anything rude. <i>Aren't you uncomfortable with this? </i>He wondered, before realizing Elyas had probably undressed in front of guys before. Actually, he'd probably done more than that. Suddenly Ali was curious, despite rarely ever taking interest in Elyas's dating life. "Do you do this a lot?" <i>It has nothing to do with being gay as long as I don't say 'no homo.' That's new, </i>he reflected. "How would you even flirt with a guy without getting punched in the face? Not in general. I mean you, specifically, Elyas."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"uh, I don't usually." he responded, stepping in the shower with a sigh. "I have had a couple partners but... Flirting isn't really my thing. I've kinda got my eye on his boy... But it isn't going to happen. We live in two different worlds." he explained.  "I did flirt once though, in a bar. It was my first time.... Well, doing  anything with another man." The person he flirted with ended up being his first boyfriend. It didn't end well. "But I much prefer to be approached myself."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"Ah," said Ali. "That makes sense. That must be how it usually is. I wonder how anything gets done..." He sat on the toilet and put his feet up on the edge of the bathtub, glad the shower curtain was closed for once. "Two different worlds, huh? Whaddaya mean? Do you live in different states or something?" Ali had once dated a girl who had lived in Nevada. <i>Anna...</i>She was beautiful- and two years older than him. What more could an eighteen year old want? He'd fallen for her more quickly than he'd ever like to admit, and soon he was making plans to come to Nevada, to be with her. The whole time, Elyas never knew, and later, Ali was glad about that. He'd arrived at the airport and she picked him up in her car, a red Porsche. He took her shopping and she showered him with kisses. She was so kind, and so sweet, and so perfect...later, they'd went swimming, even though she wouldn't wear the bikini he gave her. Later, they got a hotel, but she chickened out.<br>
<br>
<br>
"We don't have to...we don't have to do anything tonight, right?"<br>
<br>
<br>
"No...of course not." They went to sleep.<br>
<br>
<br>
He woke up early, in a strange feeling of panic. His hand was on her neck, and there was a strange bulge... She had an Adam's apple. His girlfriend was a boyfriend.<br>
<br>
<br>
He went home on the next plane- and ignored all <i>his </i>messages, until <i>he </i>gave up. Even if she'd been trans, it would have been okay, if she'd told him. Female was female. But that- that was catfishing.<br>
<br>
<br>
Ali shuddered. "Thanks for not lying to me, man," said Ali suddenly. "About being gay. Maybe it doesn't seem like it, but...I'm glad you told me the truth about your sexuality, instead of lying because some people would prefer you pretended to be straight." He frowned. "I hate liars..."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"Huh?" Elyas was kind of surprised by the sudden thanks, but he didn't think to really ask questions on why he had brought it up. "Oh, you're welcome I guess. You're my best friend...you're the first person I came out to, actually. And, I dunno...If you hadn't taken it well, I don't think I would have come out to anyone else. I trust you more than I trust anyone else."<br>
<br>
<br>
At the question about the two different world things, however... Biting the bottom of his lip, he struggled to find a way to answer without lying. "Uh, well...hum." he hesitated for only a moment before answering again. "For one, he's straight." Elyas explained. "And by two different worlds I mean...we don't actually have a lot in common. We're friends because I guess opposites attract, but he's, as far as I know, usually interested in people he can relate to more. I don't know, I've given up on ever having a relationship with him. Still, it's hard to let go, ya know?"<br>
<br>
<br>
Turning off the water, he rung out his hair a little before opening the curtain and stepping out. His body was thin and a little small for someone his age, but not unpleasant to look at. His skin was soft and creamy, and he had little blots of freckles here and there that littered his sides, shoulders, arms and legs. It wasn't often people got to see these, but of course Ali had already noticed. He took the towel from the counter and wrapped it around himself, drying off his body while he spoke to his friend.<br>
<br>
<br>
"In any case, relationships aren't really my thing anyway." his first boyfriend had kind of ruined it for him. He'd tried to have relationships with others for a while afterwards but...it never ended well. "They make me feel....closed off, anxious. I don't like feeling that way."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"That's really sweet," said Ali, grinning at the best friend comment. "I trust you, too." <i>Almost completely...and almost enough to tell you about that guy. But I know exactly how you would react. "</i>You're like, one of my only guy friends."<br>
<br>
<br>
"Anyway, I doubt that," said Ali. "I've met a lot of your friends, and most of them seem to be gay or bi. I have this hypothesis that if more than half of the people in a friend-group like the same sex, then so do the other half." He smiled at Elyas. "He probably likes you. He's probably <i>in love</i> with you. He's probably just in the closet." Ali waggled his eyebrows again, teasing. "You have a great personality, and you're not bad to look at. If I were into guys, I'd definitely be into you." Smirk. "I can't even see a reason why anyone else wouldn't be. Even your flaws are cute, klutz."<br>
<br>
<br>
"And relationships are too your thing," Ali scolded. "Relationships are everyone's thing. The only people who say they aren't are people fresh off a break up, people who've been in a bad relationship, or people who've never dated before. So which one are you, El?" He wanted to keep it lighthearted, but something nagged at him. "It sounds like the second one." Was Elyas lying to him? Right this very second? Suddenly, an evil plan formed, regardless of his answer. "What's your crushes name?" he asked. "Bet I can help you get him. I have something in mind..."<br>
<br>
<br>
He poked his head out the door to check if the coast was clear. Bethy's stupid dog rounded the corner at that moment and made a beeline for the bathroom. Quickly, Ali slammed the door. "I think my family is gone," said Ali, "or Parce would never dare come up here. How about you get dressed in my room and we'll take him and Gundam on a walk? I'll tell you all about my master plan once we're outside."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Elyas was silent for a long time. He dried himself off and then wrapped the towel around himself to cover his naked body. His hair was still damp and gently tickled his shoulders as he swept it from his face. He walked out into the hallway once he was told the coast was clear and back into the bedroom, where, once his friend was inside, he let the towel drop and then began to get dressed. He chose a shirt, a black and gray long sleeved one that was loose on his frame and barely covered his shoulders. Then he put on his underwear and some simple jeans that tried to cling to his legs, but ended up folding in on themselves.<br>
<br>
<br>
Eventually, as he sat on the bed once he was done, he spoke.<br>
<br>
<br>
"When I came out as gay, everyone was surprisingly supportive. Well, besides my parents." he explained. "And for that whole year, people treated me a little different, but it was a good different. The kind that let me be myself. It was fun, and nice. But one of my friends- scotty, you've met him- asked me if i'd ever had sex. At the time...well, I hadn't ever. Everyone else in my friend group had, and I knew they wouldn't make fun of me for knowing, but still it got me thinking. So I went to a bar and I sat down at the counter, drank for a while. It was cool to watch people...I sketched while I did it, so I got some cool new dance poses."<br>
<br>
<br>
Elyas looked down at his own hands and fiddled with them in his lap. "After a while, at around midnight, a man sat next to me. He sat there silently for a long time, but he noticed me drawing, and he asked about it. We spoke briefly before I had the courage to try flirting with him, and to my surprise...he flirted back. He took me to his house, and...well, we didn't have sex. We talked all night and we fell asleep together on his couch. In the morning, he woke me up with some orange juice and cereal, and we watched the cartoons that come on in the morning. We agreed to see eachother again, and that's how I got my first boyfriend."<br>
<br>
<br>
"Neither one of us were the kind of people who flaunted relationships, so we would meet up and do whatever without telling anyone. If someone was to ask, we wouldn't lie, but it just wasn't something we liked to bring up in conversations. We were happy just being together and...well, telling others seemed to break the world we'd made for ourselves, with just the two of us. Eventually, I...well, we had sex, and it was great. It was in his beach house in the evening, when the sun had gone down and the moon was full. We'd had wine and a nice dinner, and curled up in a blanket in front of his fireplace...it was the picture book representation of romance. After that night I...I fell hard for him, and I thought he fell hard for me too."<br>
<br>
<br>
"It was all good for a while but..." his breath caught and he had to choke back the wetness in his eyes. "One day, I was waiting for him after class." his voice was almost a whisper. "He picked me up in his car and...instead of going to his place like usual, he brought me to mine. I didn't really think much of it, since we had hung out there before, but he stopped in the doorway once we got to my apartment. He...he put his hand on my head..." Elyas' hand automatically went to a longer strand of his hair in the front of his face. "And he told me that I was boring. That he was tired of me. That I was just a phase, and he'd found someone better."<br>
<br>
<br>
The man felt that familiar broken shattered feeling begin to spread in his chest again. "It broke me. I moved apartments, i switched schools, I..." he sighed. "I moved on. I moved on to other people, but the relationships didn't feel right.  They didn't have any fire, or passion or....connection." Sighing, he ran his hand through his hair. "So I stopped trying to have one. I just...don't want to feel that way with the person I like right now. They make my heart beat fast, and I smile when I think about them. But I don't want to ruin that with a relationship, even if they are in the closet. I like that flutter, and I like that blush. I don't want to make it go away."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Ali felt for him. Every word he spoke brought him closer to a sad truth: something had happened to Elyas. He was heartbroken. “Ellie…” he said, his voice coming out as a whisper. “You lied. Something did happen to you. I…” <i>I’m so sorry. I should have been there. </i>“I should have been there for you. I’m so sorry.” He rested a hand on Elyas’s lower chest for a moment, and a head in Elyas’s shoulders. “I love you so much…how could I have let anything happen to you?” He kissed Elyas’s forehead, then his cheek, then the side of his lips. “Come here,” he whispered, hugging his friend. “I promise…I will never let anyone hurt you again.”<br>
<br>
<br>
“Boys suck.” He pulled Elyas down onto the bed backwards, pulling the blankets over them and cuddling into Elyas’s back. “You’re not boring. You’re amazing. Have you seen your art? Have you seen your smile? Have you seen the way you look when you’re excited, or when you’re taking a selfie? You’re not boring. You’re beautiful. Ellie, I promise.” <i>How could you hide this from me? I thought we didn’t keep secrets from each other…well, not many secrets. Not huge, life altering secrets. My Ellie…heartbroken.</i><br>
<br>
<br>
“I’m going to call in sick from work,” he announced, leaning over to the landline he kept by his night stand. When he was done with his phone call- done explaining to his boss that he had strep throat- he leaned in and nuzzled Elyas. “I don’t have class today, so, new plan: we are staying in bed together, all day. I will comfort you and sleep with you and kiss you. And I will make you food. And I will make you drinks. And anything you need, I will do for you.” He couldn’t stand to see Elyas hurting: a trait he’d proved again and again. And no, he didn’t understand one single double entendre in the words he’d just spoken…maybe in the kissing, but surely Elyas of all people understood he was innocent?<br>
<br>
<br>
“You have no choice.” He said, making his statement clear.<br>
<br>
<br>
Maybe it was time for Ali to come clean about his ex-boyfriend. Elyas had been so honest with him…didn’t he deserve the same amount of respect and decency in return? Ali felt that he did. “Story time. There was this girl once. A beautiful, kind, amazing, smart girl. Like you, but female. Or so I thought. We met online, which will probably tip you off as to where this story is going. I fell hard for her, and, like <i>you</i> said, I thought she fell hard for me too. Pretty soon we were making plans to come see each other, and I bought plane tickets. We had fun, my first day there. I was supposed to stay all week. We went to dinner…we went swimming…although, she wouldn’t wear the bikini I bought her. Yeah, we also went shopping. Well, we decided that night was the night. We had all the foreplay, and we went to a hotel. And…then she chickened out, so we ended up just cuddling. I figured we had six more days to do all of that. Then I woke up because my hand was on something- a strange bulge- and I’d had a nightmare. It’s not what you’re thinking- it was her Adam’s apple.” He frowned. “She was a guy. I freaked out- as one does when they find out they’ve been lied to about something so significant- and got on the next plane back. I left her with the hotel bill, and I feel really bad about it.” He sighed. “What scares me is that, even knowing that she was a guy, I didn’t immediately fall out of love with her. It took me some time.” He sighed. “Honestly, if she’d told me she was trans, I would have stayed with her. We’d probably be married. I never met anyone I loved as much as her, you know?” God, why was he telling Ellie everything? Couldn’t he keep something to himself? “What scares me is that I apparently have the ability to fall head over heels for a guy. I’ve never been attracted to a man’s man, you know? But if it happened once, what if it happens again? I don’t want to be gay.” He sighed, knowing that sounded very harsh. “I’d lose everything.”<br>
<br>
<br>
He lay back against the pillows, breathing out. “That’s it. That’s my big secret. We’re going to be here all day long, so if you have anything else to tell me, today would be the day to get it all off your chest.” More sighing. “I love you. Really. I’ll support you through anything, okay?” Force-cuddling his friend, he began to drift off into a stress-induced sleep. Who knew if Ellie was still awake or not?<br>
<br>
<br>
A bit later, Lazy and Bethy returned home for their respective schools’ lunch hour. “I’m gonna get my history book,” said Bethy, climbing the stairs. “I have a test next period, and I left it in our dear half-brother’s room the last time he helped me cram.”<br>
<br>
<br>
“Okay,” yelled Lazy. “I’ll make us lunch.”<br>
<br>
<br>
As she opened the door to the bedroom, she saw them. In bed. Cuddling. “I knew it,” she said. Moments later there was an audible ‘click’, and Bethy noticeably smiled. “Future blackmail,” she said evilly, grabbing her textbook, and leaving the boys’ room.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Elyas relaxed into his friends arms, felt the hotness on the corner of his lips where he had been kissed. He said absolutely nothing in response to any of that, just let himself imagine what it would be like to have Ali as his own. This could happen often, the two of them, curled up in bed, talking in the middle of the day. They could joke with eachother, and Elyas could come home from a stressful day at work to have his boyfriend cheer him up with that goofy attitude of his.<br>
<br>
<br>
But it would never happen.<br>
<br>
<br>
<i>I don't want to be gay. I'd lose everything.</i><br>
<br>
<br>
The words echoed in his head over and over again, and he knew that there was no chance of him ever finding happiness with this man. But if it wasn't going to happen with Ali, who else could Elyas trust enough to let in? The thought made his chest ache with that familiar emotion of despair, and he turned around slowly in Ali's arms, careful not to wake him.<br>
<br>
<br>
"If only you knew...the one I love is you." he whispered, his voice barely a breath. He gave his friend a small kiss to the lips, more like a ghost of a touch, and then removed himself from his arms. Elyas went to the window and opened it, then crawled into the frame, sitting cross legged in the window. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the side of the frame, letting his mind go blank as the wind made his hair blow about gracefully. He liked the way it tickled his cheeks, and the smell of grass made his breath slow down.<br>
<br>
<br>
Still, he couldn't help but hurt, that aching making his throat catch on the air that went down. Years of forcing back emotion had his tears at bay, but his insides were nothing but a battlefield. His eyes took upon that hollow glaze he knew all too well, and he felt as though he were suffocating. It was akin to the feeling of being back at his childhood home, but with an added dose of confusion and an overwhelming feeling of drowning in a lost hope. What was so wrong with being gay? Why was he constantly being bitten in the ass by it?<br>
<br>
<br>
"I wish I could just like women....if I could pretend, things would be so much easier..."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Ali woke up without Elyas in his arms, and there was something so wrong about that statement. He licked his lips, halfway still in a dream state. It had been a simple dream, just lying in bed with Elyas (just as he should have been doing now), but in their own apartment. (<i>Mmm, Elyas…you smell heavenly. </i>Ali rubbed Ellie’s lower stomach. <i>Are you feeling yesterday’s burrito? </i>Ali laughed. <i>No. Can we at least pretend it’s the baby? </i>Elyas smiled. <i>Ali, it’s only three more weeks. Our surrogate promised she wouldn’t change her mind: not this one. She loved us.</i> Ali smiled the same way back at him. <i>I love </i><i><b>you, </b></i><i>Ellie</i><i><b>. </b></i>God, had he ever seen such a wonderful smile? <i>I know.</i>)<br>
<br>
<br>
Walking into the bathroom, Ali stopped short. Dream…daydream? Whatever all that noise was…was over. Where was Elyas? Had he not been told to stay with Ali, in their soft and cushioning love nest? “Ellie? Ellie, where have you gone?” Hurriedly speed-walking back into his room, he looked around: perhaps Ellie had fallen on the floor, or crawled into the closet. A cursory glance at each proved that this was simply not the case. Ali began to panic. “Ellie?” Who knew what the boy could do in such a volatile state? “Ellie!” He ran downstairs, checking all the rooms, then did the same for all the rooms back up. Then he saw the open window. <i>He couldn’t have…he wouldn’t dare climb…or worse, jump…from the second story? Not without my help. Would he? </i>The flattened grass below confirmed that he’d definitely jumped. “No…” Without thinking about it much, Ali launched out of the window himself. He probably could have taken the stairs, but Ali wasn’t the thinking type. Not when he was this upset.<br>
<br>
<br>
“Elyas! El! <i>Ellie</i>!” He screamed, running around in circles for a moment. <i>Okay. Calm down, Ali. Think: Where does Elyas go when he’s upset? </i><br>
<br>
<br>
<i>The woods! Of course, the woods! </i>“Ellie, I’m on my way.” he said out loud: but first, he went to the shed, grabbing his gun and some extra ammo. The woods were a dangerous place.<br>
<br>
<br>
Ali didn’t have a cell phone of his own: when his friends wanted to contact him, they called Lazy, and he’d deliver the message if he were in a good mood. One way to ensure this was by bribing Lazy with licorice candies. Unfortunately, Lazy was at school.<br>
<br>
<br>
“Ellie…I’m coming for you.” <i>I have to tell you about this crazy dream I had. </i></div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Elyas loved the woods. They were spacious and calming, and when he came here, he didn't have to worry about crying or not. When he was a child, his parents expected nothing less than perfection. He was always dressed in the finest clothing, given the best education out there, and brought to parties where he was nothing if not a noble. However, with this came the inability to show any emotion. Were he too happy and got too roudy, his parents would get mad. If he were too sad and cried, his parents would yell. So he bottled it all up inside and became empty, because if he couldn't feel, people couldn't get mad.<br>
<br>
<br>
Once he got out of the house, he rediscovered those positive emotions, but by that point, he'd had a nasty habit of hiding the negative ones, for fear of upsetting or making others angry. But here, in the woods, where it was cool and spacious and lonely, he could let the tears fall. He wasn't a loud crier, not the type to bawl or make ugly faces, but the feeling of the hot tears down his face was enough for him. It was a relief to be able to do this; he sure hoped Ali didn't worry too much about him. He knew he had a tenancy to blow everything out of proportion instead of waiting to see an outcome.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Ali hated the woods. When he was out here, he always worried about Elyas- who was, incidentally, the only person he would ever come out here for. It was freezing now, and the dark clouds above threatened rain- possibly a storm. When had it gotten so dark? Ali supposed he wouldn't have noticed anyway, with all the lights on in the house and cuddled up to his Ellie. Lightning flashed and thunder cracked in the distance, but no rain came. <i>Shit. </i>If they were having dry lightning now, then there was a very good chance of forest fire. Not a great prospect on the day-to-day, but when you were in an actual forest, conducting a possible rescue mission? That- that made it much, much worse. "Ellie!" he yelled. "Elyas! Ellie, can you hear me? It's- oh, fuck. Now it's raining. Could this day get any worse?"<br>
<br>
<br>
As if to answer his question, lightning struck and thunder crashed. "No!" yelled Ali, pointing at the sky. "You shut the fuck up! That was a rhetorical question, asshole!" He needed to find Elyas <i>now. </i>It was already storming. Suddenly, Ali had an idea that was simultaneously stupid and brilliant: what certain friends of Ali and Elyas at the college reffered to as "Alideas". He was going to climb a tree- in a lightning storm- to see if he could spot Elyas from the canopy. "Okay, a one-hup, two-hup...three!" Ali squirreled up the wet redwood as best he could: luckily, he had plenty of practice at climbing, both from climbing down before Elyas to catch him in case he fell and climbing up to his room so he could pull Elyas in through the window. It didn't take long to get to the top. "Ellie!" he shouted, then, in one last attempt, at the top of his lungs, "ELLIEEEEEEE!"<br>
<br>
<br>
(Hey, I'm going off for the night. My kitten needs cuddles and my mom is here so I wanna spend some quality time with her.)</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Oh shit, it was starting to rain. With not much fat on his body, being cold wasn't the best idea for him, especially since he tended not to get very good sleep. It made him sick easier than normal people, so he didn't like to make it a habit to stay out in the rain. Getting to his feet, he was looking around to find a route back to his friend's house, when thunder made him jump about a mile in the air. Before he could stop himself, he was taking off, running through the woods blindly as his heart raced. No. No, not thunder.<br>
<br>
<br>
Wet leaves and branches smacked him in the face as he ran through without looking where he was going. The only thought going through his head was "Run"<br>
<br>
<br>
He didn't know if he actually heard it or not, but a muffled scream of his name had him pausing, huffing and puffing in the spot he stood, and turning in the direction of where he thought he was being called from. Elyas swerved and ducked through the woods until he found the source; Ali.<br>
<br>
<br>
In a tree, in the middle of a thunderstorm.<br>
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"Ali!!" he called, voice cracking as he looked up the tree.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">As soon as Ali saw Elyas- who else could it be, panicked, in the woods, in a storm?- his voice died off to a whisper. “Ellie…” Thank god Elyas couldn’t hear him over the wind and the roar of thunder. It was impossible not to notice the level of affection and concern dotting Ali’s voice. As lightning crashed about two trees away, Ali snapped back to it, assessing the ground below him.<br>
<br>
<br>
The ground was soft, yeah, and covered in wet leaves…but there could be rocks and sticks there that he simply didn’t know about. And what if he landed on Ellie? Besides, there was no way he was making a forty foot jump…but maybe he could make two twenty foot jumps? Ali had always wanted to try parkour- too bad his legs had other ideas…after the accident.<br>
<br>
<br>
“Okay, okay.” He muttered. “Maybe there’s another way down.” Lightning struck the tree next to him. “Oh shit. Oh shit. Okay. Leap of faith.”<br>
<br>
<br>
He jumped…for a moment, it felt like he was flying: then time slowed down long enough for him to notice the quickly approaching tree. He wasn’t landing where he had expected…rather just below it, with no branches he could reasonably grab on to. And none the rest of the way down, either.<br>
<br>
<br>
Fuck- his only choice was to bear hug it. And so he did. “Oh…” he gasped, landing roughly. His head smacked the rough wood and bounced. It felt like the wind was knocked out of him. As carefully as possible, he slid down the tree, until he was close enough to just let go and land on his own feet. “Oh,” he stood up, turning around to face Elyas, who he had no doubt worried pulling that stunt. “Ellie,” he greeted cordially. “I think I’ve broken some ribs.” He proceeded to fall down and pass out at Elyas’s feet.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Oh god, oh god, what was he supposed to do?? He felt tears streaking down his face, panic fucking him up as he tried to figure out what to do. The lightning...it was causing fires, fires that were too big for the rain to put out! The heat was overwhelming, and he didn't know what else to do he had to- he had to do something!!<br>
<br>
<br>
Ali, being bigger than himself, was hard to move, but Elyas managed. He dragged him along, trying to get him out of these stupid woods without hurting his friend more. It took a long while, a while of finding routes, stopping because he was out of breath, and checking in on his friend, but eventually he made it back to the house, and knocked on the door hard until someone answered. Ali's father.<br>
<br>
<br>
"I-he...thunderstorm, fell out of a tree....Ribs are broken i think i-" soaked and looking like a drowning cat, miserable and shaking, Elyas tried to explain the situation. He wasn't sure what exactly happened after that, there was a lot of yelling in his face, and Ali was being taken away from him, and then the door was slamming. Shit. SHIT. How was he supposed to get home? It wasn't like he lived with other people, and his parents...well, they weren't exactly on speaking terms. And to top it all off, he was worried sick about Ali and jumping every time thunder sounded. Who could he call? When stuff like this happened, he would call Ali...</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">“Ali,” said Bethy, waving a can of Sri Racha in front of his face. “You have to wake up…Dad’s furious…Why did we get rid of the smelling salts?”<br>
<br>
<br>
“Ngh…” muttered Ali, waking up to a flurry of faces and voices, seemingly spinning around the room. “What is going on- oh, <i>ow</i>!” His chest hurt and his arms were sore, as if he’d been dragged…suddenly, he remembered. “I jumped out of a tree!”<br>
<br>
<br>
“I swear to god, if that perverted mother***er touched our son, I will…” Ali’s stepfather cracked his knuckles, an audible threat for only a few seconds as thunder boomed again. “I will kill him. Lazy! Is he still standing outside our door?”<br>
<br>
<br>
Lazy peeked out the window, uncomfortable with the entire situation. “Yes, father. He looks cold. May I fetch him a blanket or invite him-“<br>
<br>
<br>
“No!”<br>
<br>
<br>
“Who…?” Ali was confused by this conversation. “Perverted?” Ali was pretty sure the only ‘perverted’ person he knew was Lazy, but his step-father never got mad at Lazy or Bethy about anything, so it couldn’t have been him. It took a few more moments of pondering before he realized who they must be talking about. <i>Ellie. </i>“Elyas!” he exclaimed. “Where is he? What have you done to him?” Thunder. How ominous... a sign of what was to come?<br>
<br>
<br>
“Is he dead?” <i>Oh, god, please, no. If he’s dead, I…I’m just going to kill myself! </i>“Oh, please tell me you didn’t kill him: please! I couldn’t take it! Father…”<br>
<br>
<br>
“Did he touch you? Are you alright?”<br>
<br>
<br>
“Of course he touched me. He must have! How else would I have gotten here?” Oh, god. Oh, god. Screaming. “Did you hurt him?”<br>
<br>
<br>
Lazy interrupted then. “No, Father didn’t hurt him. He’s outside on our doorstep, but-”<br>
<br>
<br>
In the time it took to say that sentence, Ali was down the stairs and out the door, screaming in pain the entire way. For one: he still wasn’t used to running, and for two, his rib still hurt. “Ellie!” He grabbed the cold, soaked boy and pulled him into a tight hug. “Ellie, my Ellie…” He ran a hand across Ellie’s cheek, and made a split second decision. “Let’s move forward with the plan.” That was the only warning Elyas got before Ali kissed him, hands entwining in his hair.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">He wasn't sure how long he stood there for, shaking and shivering in the rain, wondering what to do, but suddenly he was being pulled into familiar arms. "Ali?" he croaked, looking up with tearful eyes. "You shouldn't be standing! You took a really bad fall, i'm glad to see you alright though...did I hurt you getting here? You're bigger than me so it was hard to drag you...I'm sorry if I did, please go lay dow-"<br>
<br>
<br>
Lips.<br>
<br>
<br>
He tasted slightly of cherry, probably a chapstick or something, but it was warm, and the hands in his hair made him melt. Elyas' hands clenched in Ali's shirt and he leaned up into it, kissing back. He couldn't help it; what were you supposed to do when your long time crush kissed you? His heart fluttered in the most wonderful way, and although he could still feel himself shaking because of the cold and wet, he could only feel warmth surging through him.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Ali finally broke the kiss when he couldn’t spend another second without air. “Wow…you’re, uh…really good at pretending.” Stepping back, he removed Elyas’s hands from his shirt, staring at him strangely for a few moments. <i>I…shouldn’t have liked that as much as I did. Did Elyas like that? No, he must not, or he wouldn’t have tried to rip my shirt as a punishment…</i>”Sorry. I, uh…” <i>I’m straight, god damn it! Why is this happening? This shouldn’t be happening to me.</i><br>
<br>
<br>
“Huh. Um, so, you’re soaking wet and freezing…we should probably get you indoors and get those clothes off of you.” He coughed. “No homo. Would you prefer, like, a hotel or do you want to get back to your apartment? I could probably scrounge up some money for a hotel.”<br>
<br>
<br>
He decided to answer the questions Elyas had asked before. “I’m fine. Please don’t worry about me, Elyas. I’m a big boy. I can take care of both of us.”<br>
<br>
<br>
Just as he was saying this, his stepfather burst through the doorway, holding a gun. “Get your f****t asses off my property! Now!” To prove his point, he shot the gun into the air.<br>
<br>
<br>
“Run!” yelled Ali, grabbing Elyas’s hand and pulling him away. <i>No way in hell am I letting Ellie get shot. </i><br>
<br>
<br>
When he decided that Elyas wasn’t going fast enough to his taste, he picked the younger boy up and carried him. “You have to know I love you,” he said, carrying him away as quickly as he could. “I don’t just regularly go about picking up guys, Ellie.” <i>Besides…</i>”I had a dream about you just before I woke up. Do you want to hear about it?” <i>Anything to distract me from this pain…I should not be carrying anyone right now.</i></div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Everything was happening too fast. This day was just a clusterfuck...too much for him to handle. "..." looking up to his friend, he stared at him sadly. "Yeah, i wanna hear it." he murmured quietly, wondering why he was being carried. He wasn't as fast as Ali was, but he wasn't slow. "I can run, ya know. You don't have to carry me."<br>
<br>
<br>
He felt horrible for this whole situation. Everything about this was HIS fault, and here Ali was, still protecting him. God, he was just pathetic. He should just stop being friends with him so he could be happy. But he was selfish. He didn't want to give up the best thing that ever happened to him.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Breathing hard, Ali rounded the corner- they were already three blocks from his house. Gently, he set Elyas down, fiddling with his best friend’s hair. “Don’t look at me like that.” He scolded. “You of all people should know that I hate seeing sadness…but especially on you.” He leaned in and gave Elyas another kiss on the cheek. “Walk with me, and I’ll tell you all about it.” He grabbed Elyas by the hand and pulled him along, glad for the final respite from the pain he’d gone through earlier. “We were in a bed together, cuddling. As we should be.” He sent a smirk in Elyas’s general direction. For a straight guy, he could be pretty damn affectionate. “I was kissing you- on the cheek, mind you- and we were snuggling. I started to rub around the skin on your lower stomach, and you were teasing me about it. Apparently, I was very excited, because our surrogate was due in a few weeks, and we were having a baby.” He blushed, a little bit embarrassed. “You’re the dream expert. What does all that mean?”<br>
<br>
<br>
After a few moments, he realized they were walking toward Elyas’s apartment building. “You want to go to your apartment, right?” he asked. “It’s not too late for me to call in a favor, and get us a hotel.”</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"Yeah, my apartment is good. I need clothes..." he responded. "You can stay with me there. Your dad doesn't seem to want you around right now." Elyas still shivered with the cold of the rain, but his hand was warm, clasped in Ali's. "As for your dream..." El bit his bottom lip. "I know you probably don't want to hear it, but you're most likely at least bisexual." He explained. "You obviously seem to have some attraction towards men, even if you don't like it. However, its your choice to pursue it or not. I know that...being gay is probably the worst thing for you."<br>
<br>
<br>
Saying those words out loud made him feel horrible and he hung his head, looking at his feet as they sloshed through the puddles on the street. "I really need to lay down. I'm cold..."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">“I’m not bisexual. I’m straight.” said Ali, staring forward. “I don’t have a ‘choice’ on whether or not I pursue guys, because I’m not attracted to guys. Period and end of that story.” He blew a raspberry with his hair. “Even if that was true, that would imply that I like you, since you were what my dream is about. And no offense, but I am one hundred percent positive that if I had any inkling of feeling toward you outside of a normal friendship, I would know.”<br>
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“Maybe you’re the one who’s gay,” Ali joked. “You seemed to enjoy my kiss.” A bald-faced lie- Ali almost felt like an assaulter. “All clinging to me and leaning in. You like me…” He blew a kiss at his friend. “You know you’re gonna have to tend my wounds once we’re at the apartment. That means seeing me with my shirt off, wrapping me up…probably rubbing me down with Bengay. Do you think you can handle that, lover boy? ‘Cause I don’t know if you can handle all <i>this.</i>” He smiled. “But I’ll let you try.”</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"I am gay, and you tasted like cherries, so can you really blame me?" he joked back. Although he seemed fine on the outside, on the inside all of those words were killing him. He shoved the broken pieces of his shattered heart under his metaphorical carpet and pulled his hand away, shoving it into his pocket instead. It wasn't long before they got to his apartment, and he silently lead the way towards the familiar path inside. He opened his door into the place he called home, which was neat and orderly....save for the papers and ink and pencils that were strewn just about everywhere, and the absolutely empty fridge.<br>
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"Sit." he pointed towards the couch and then headed towards the bathroom to get the first aid kit.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Rarely ever did Elyas tease Ali back. At the beginning of their friendship, they were competitors. Then Elyas had learned (and had been repeatedly taught) that as far as teasing and games went, Ali always won. So why was he trying to screw with Ali now? That was a bad, bad plan.<br>
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Sitting all by his lonesome, Ali got that dreaded sneaky look on his face, but it was gone before Elyas came back. Leaning back, he made himself a little nest out of pillows and blankets, burying himself in the couch and removing his top. (He would have had to do it anyway, so Ellie could get at his shoulders and broken rib.) “Ellie!~” he trilled. “Hurry back. The couch is oh, so lonely without you.” Commence Operation Screw With Elyas (OSWE).<br>
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(It may look like mine is shorter but the word count is bigger so I'm fine with this.)</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">(Dude i literally dont care how long your replies are haha quality over quantity)<br>
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Rolling his eyes at the stupid call from the living room, Elyas hunched over the sink and spashed his face with some water. He was already completely soaked, so it didn't matter if he were messy or not. Eventually he managed to compose himself enough to grab the first aid and walk back out. Seeing Ali sitting on the couch like that, he went over and sat on his lap, pinning him down so he wouldn't wiggle while he set his ribs. This was admittedly not the first time something like this had happened, Ali being the type to act first and ask questions later, so Elyas was well versed in the actions he was supposed to take.<br>
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He finished slowly so he would get it all right, wrapped his friend up, and then leaned forward, so close to the other's face that they could taste each others' breath and the tips of their noses touched. "A kiss to make it all better." he breathed.</div>
				
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							<h1 class="p-title-value">I'm Not Faking It (Mxm)
	
	

	

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					<div class="bbWrapper">Elyas climbed on top of him and Ali gave him his trademark smirk. He knew that setting a rib was going to hurt, but he was used to this, and Elyas knew how to treat him so that he wouldn’t cry too much. He bit his tongue: he had yet to have a rib set without making a sound, and this time was no different. When it was done, he felt embarrassed over the horrible squeak his mouth made. He grabbed Ellie’s hand and nuzzled into it.<br>
<br>
<br>
Ellie’s response was to get very up close and personal. “A kiss, huh?” Ali grinned evilly. “For the pain you just put me through? I think you can do better than that.” It was a simple maneuver to flip Elyas onto his back. “Wanna hear a secret?” he whispered in Elyas’s ear. “Ellie. I could be the best boyfriend you never had.” He stood up- ow, rib- and walked toward Elyas’s bedroom. “Well, are we doing this or not?”<br>
<br>
<br>
(Elyas might get mad in a minute. Just a warning.  <img src="https://www.rpnation.com/media/emoticon1-smile.23674/full?d=1488654843" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":)" title="smile    :)" data-shortname=":)">  )</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">(OF FUCKING COURSE HE IS)<br>
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Oh god, what? Every time he tried to tease...he had no idea why he tried anymore. Still...he got to his feet and followed after him. They were going to be sleeping in here anyway..so there was no harm in it, right? Probably wrong, but whatever.<br>
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"The best, huh? You don't have much competition." he joked, but it was half hearted, and not really there. The worst part about Ali was that he couldn't tell when he was serious or not - he could tell when the other was lying, but not when he was just teasing. So he followed after him and shut the door behind him.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Ali climbed on the bed, beckoning him over. “How many pillows do you think we’ll need?” he asked. “I want to make sure you’re completely comfortable before we proceed.” Ali didn’t give two shits whether or not Elyas was comfortable- Elyas had dared to tease Ali. He completely and totally deserved this. “And do you prefer the blankets to be on the bed or off? Should we light some candles? I want this to be romantic.” He smiled.  “I love you, Elyas.” There- that was it. His new tell. If he were being serious, he absolutely would have called him ‘Ellie’. The question was: would Elyas notice? Probably…or not?</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Elyas blinked. Why the sudden name change? Anger sparked in him and he looked at Ali with a cold glare his friend had never seen on him before. He swiftly walked over and pressed his forehead to Ali's, hard, and gave him a piercing stare, right into his eyes. "Don't fuck with me, Ali Maxwell, not on this. If you're anything less than sincere..." he threatened. He wanted this to be true. He wanted to be wrong. Why would he suddenly switch names. Usually, he'd let it drop but...not about this. Not when he'd been hurt so bad in the past by someone he'd loved so dearly.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Ali looked away for a few seconds. God, how he hated serious Elyas: he rarely ever showed up, not like this, but when he did, things got bad for Ali. “I was going to tickle torture you. I told you not to take me seriously…” He blinked. No. That put too much of the blame on Ellie, didn’t it? “I’m sorry, Ellie.” No smirk, no smile. “I know I shouldn’t tease you like this…” He stood and moved out of the way, getting up and walking into Elyas’s bathroom, closing and locking the door. This round had <i>definitely </i>been won by Elyas, but that wasn’t what was bothering Ali. What was bothering Ali was…why did it bother Elyas so much that Ali was teasing him that time? Because he’d gone so far? No, if that were the case, Ellie would have shut it down much sooner. He remembered the conversation they’d had earlier, and the kiss. Maybe he was right the second time- maybe Ellie had enjoyed the kiss. Maybe Elyas was upset because he <i>liked </i>Ali. Was that even possible?<br>
<br>
<br>
“Ellie…” he called, loud enough to create an echo through their entire apartment. He exited the bathroom. “Let’s play the questions game. You ask me one question and I have to answer honestly- then vice versa. What do you say?”</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Elyas sighed and flopped down on the bed when Ali left the room. God, he felt... He didn't know what it was, but it wasn't often he got serious like that. He knew that Ali was just joking, but it touched something inside him that hurt like hell, something he wanted to shove away like he usually did.<br>
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His friends voice brought him back to reality and he turned towards the door, thinking for a long moment before responding. "ok. Cmere. You start."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"No. I need to ask you after, so I have a little more time to think about what I'm going to do if you say 'yes'. I don't want to hurt you- physically or emotionally- because I didn't think through all the possibilities. So you go first." As much as the Questions Game was called a 'game', it was rarely ever that. The questions game was used for two reasons and two reasons only: the first was to find out if someone was into you, and the second was to find out information. Ali had every intention of doing both. He sat on the bed. "Can we hold hands?" This was Ali speak for <i>I feel really bad, for once, so I'm going to be super affectionate toward you until you do something stupid as well. </i></div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">".... Well, that was your first question, and the answer is yes." he mumbled, taking his friends hand. He was well versed in Ali speak enough to know what it meant. He paused for a long time, playing with his friends fingers while he thought of something to ask. He was positive he knew what was coming in terms of alis question so he wanted to get something out of the way. "really think about this. Are you saying you're not bi or gay becayse you actually aren't, or because you're afraid to be?"</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">“I’m…” Ali almost reasserted his heterosexuality, then thought better of it. “I don’t know. I don’t know and that’s the most honest answer I can give. But I am scared…” He sighed, then chuckled in a way that wasn’t funny. “Alright…my question?” he asked, realizing he still had no idea how to phrase it. “I was thinking about it and, I mean…do you like me? I mean, of course you like me. We’re friends. I mean…if I were…If I did enjoy the company of men, you know, the way you do…would we be together?” Which was as close an answer as Elyas was ever going to get to the question: “Do you like me?” Because Ali had just said (not that he noticed it himself), <i>if I liked guys, and if you wanted to be with me, we would be together. </i>“I might. Like. Guys.” <i>You. </i></div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Elyas couldn't make eye contact, looking down at his lap sadly. ".... I dont want to lie to you." he murmured. "But I don't want our relationship to crumble. You're my closest friend... The only one I've ever been completely honest with. If I told you that I like you... If I told you that you make my heart flutter, and I dream about you, if I told you that your touch lights me on fire.... If I told you you're the only one I could ever imagine being with after the past....you would be disgusted. And the worst part is... You would pretend everything was ok, that you're good with me having a crush on you.... But you wouldn't be. You'd drift away. And I'd be alone."<br>
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His hand had slipped away from Ali and was now covering his face. "I cant say it out loud. I can't. I can't know I was the one who ruined what we have."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">“You think something as little as a crush could crumble what we have?” Ali scoffed. “Elyas. Look at me. I have more faith in you, in me, and in us, than that.” He leaned in and kissed his best friend’s cheek, then left a light butterfly kiss. “If you like me, then that changes things, yes. It changes the way I might act toward you as we continue to pretend to date. I’ll be much more careful with your feelings from here on forward.” He sighed. “But it doesn’t change what I think about you: that you are a bright and beautiful individual who happened to make me the luckiest man alive when he chose me to be his best friend.” He gave a little huff, then leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to Elyas’s, kissing him as softly as he had earlier in the day. “Just because I’m scared of my sexuality doesn’t mean you need to be scared of yours. You can tell me anything, Ellie. I will never let you go.” <i>Because, maybe you. </i>“So, let’s get redressed for bed, hmm?” A beautiful moment, broken.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Elyas felt the tears coming. Rarely did he cry in front of others, but it was painful and relieving all in one, and he just hugged himself to Ali. "I cant do it, Ali. I can't pretend to date you." he hiccuped, sniffling and blubbering into his chest. "It's like... It's like a never ending torture where I'm so close to what I want but I can't have it."<br>
<br>
<br>
Elyas pulled away eventually, shaking. He was still soaking wet from outside. "i cant do it. I'm so sorry Ali. Im so so sorry. I haven't loved anyone, really LOVED them since... Since my heart broke. And I... I can't pretend."<br>
<br>
<br>
Standing, the man wiped at his eyes and quickly walked out of the room to the bathroom. He closed the door but didn't lock it, not in the habit since he lived alone. He needed a shower, or something to warm him up. His insides and outsides felt ice cold, and he was pretty sure he just fucked up the best thing that ever happened to him. His fists slammed down on the counter on either side of the sink and he sobbed downwards. "Why can't I just be normal and like girls. Why can't I just stop fucking things up??"</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">“Ellie!” Ali shouted after him, following him to the bathroom. But he didn’t come inside. “I know you don’t want to talk right now, or you wouldn’t close the door on me.” He could hear Elyas crying, saying something, but he couldn’t decipher what. Was it too much to ask for both of them to be happy and uninjured for once? Today was the worst Ali had ever seen Elyas- ever. He moaned. <i>Okay. </i>It was time to make a decision, for both of their sakes: before this got any worse. <i>What would make both of us happy? </i>And there wasn’t an answer to that question. Elyas wanted a lover, but Ali just wanted a friend.<br>
<br>
<br>
No…Ali wanted Elyas, period.<br>
<br>
<br>
Okay. Decision made.<br>
<br>
<br>
He stood up and walked out of the room, tracking down Elyas’s phone. It was a simple matter to log out of Elyas’s Friendr (which he rarely ever went on anyway) and into his own. Wincing at the words his parents and siblings had left all over his page, Ali moved the cursor over to his “Status Bar” and typed in two fateful abbreviations: <i>I’m bi.</i><br>
<br>
<br>
Send.<br>
<br>
<br>
He knew he was going to get backlash for this. This was a small town, and many supported the same views Ali’s stepfather did. He was probably going to be cut off from family funds, and he was probably going to be fired. Ali didn’t care. It was all worth it to make Ellie happy.<br>
<br>
<br>
He walked back to the bathroom door. <i>Even if I hate this…</i>There was no doubt in Ali’s mind that he would. <i>It will all be worth it.</i><br>
<br>
<br>
He turned the knob. “Ellie?” he asked. “Fuck being straight. Let’s go on a date. Let me take you out to dinner.”</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Elyas turned as he heard the doorknob turn, and stared at him for a long time. He knew that Ali wouldn't fuck with him after what just happened, but was he doing this because he wanted to, or because he just felt bad for him. Walking over slowly, he took Ali's face in his hands gently and stared into his eyes for a long time. "Are you sure?"<br>
<br>
<br>
His voice was quiet and subdued, but there was a hint of hope in there as he stared at him. He couldn't help but hope beyond hope that this was real, that it wasn't a dream...although he wasn't sure about a date TONIGHT. It had been a long night, and he was absolutely freezing from the rain. Plus, it wasn't safe to go outside in a thunderstorm.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">“I’ve never been surer of anything in my entire life.” He gently kissed the younger boy, pulling back after just a moment. Panic rose in him. “Why? Are you getting cold feet? Because I just came out to Friendr as bi and my parents are already leaving me hateful messages and long story short it’s a little late for that, buddy.” The panic was evident in Ali’s face, especially his big owl eyes. “I mean, I’m not gonna force you to date me, obviously, because that would just be cruel, but please tell me you haven’t changed your mind? I love you.” He grabbed Elyas and kissed him, the panic mixing with whatever chemistry they had to make the kiss even more confusing. “Oh, god. Oh, god. Ellie, please. I’ve never changed my mind about you. Don’t do this to me.”</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"Nononono" he kissed him softly. "No that's not it. I guess...I'm just scared. I don't want to be left again. You're the first person i've managed to love since...well, since HIM, and it's just hard for me to believe that you'd like me back. Of course I wouldn't get cold feet about this. I've been pining for a long time." he pressed his head to his....to ali's chest. He wasn't sure what to call him right now. "But can we go on a date tomorrow night instead? I'm really cold and wet and...you know how easy I get sick." he reminded. "Plus I have work so i can't stay out late and...well, you're gonna be staying here for a while since your parents are doing that whole thing, so you can just sleep in my bed with me."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">“It’s okay to be scared. Just know that I will never leave you.” <i>I could get used to this. </i>“Let’s have our date inside. We’ll get you out of those wet clothes…” Eye brow waggle. “Yes homo…” He tried to think past that. “And we can stay up late watching movies. You can blow off work tomorrow, and we can snuggle all day. I can buy you ice cream and we could kiss…” No need to rush things. This was fine for now. “If you fall asleep in my arms, I will be more than happy with our date.”<br>
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Elyas stared for a long time before nodding. "Ok but...I do have to do some work tomorrow. I don't have to go into the office, but the storyboard is on a deadline so I have to sketch out the initial idea and write in a simple plot." he explained. "But...ok, lemme get changed real quick. You know where my television and movies are." he paused for a moment before giving his boyfriend a kiss, soft and gentle and sweet. "We don't have to go fast. It's probably...weird for you. So. You can take it at your speed. I won't pressure you into anything, I promise."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">“I get it,” said Ali, smiling at his now boyfriend. <i>It’s so nice to see him happy…It makes this all worth it. I have to admit, though, I don’t exactly hate this. </i>“Alright, I get it. You want me out of the room.” He smirked. “But just so you know, after tonight, my ‘speed’ is anything you want. This is all about making you happy. That’s all I want, and that’s all you deserve.” He exited the bathroom, fretting. Elyas’s words had reminded him that he might be out of a job tomorrow- the only way to know for sure was to go in and see. And if he didn’t have a job, how would he take Elyas on dates? How would he afford university? Elyas was a mangaka- he couldn’t support them! Ali would have to look up new jobs as soon as possible.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Unbeknownst to Ali, Elyas was pretty popular in the manga world. He wrote and drew his own comics in a couple different genres and in each of his books, there was a little bit for everyone. He wasn't super popular in this state, but he was in several others. Besides, he paid for his apartment by himself, and still had a LOT leftover in his bank. He just hadn't shared this information with his boyfriend. Sighing once he was out of the room, the man took off his clothes and took a quick shower to warm himself up, then tied his hair back into a ponytail and got into his comfy wear, which consisted of an old band tank top and some boxers. "I'm ready" he announced, walking into the room where Ali was waiting.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"You look good," said Ali, looking him up and down and drinking in his best friend...no, boyfriend's...good looks. Instinct made him look away, before he remembered. <i>I already came out of the closet as not straight...and he likes me. It's not like he'd mind me checking him out? I mean, that's not what I was doing, but...</i>He looked back at his boyfriend. "You look like a little kid...in a cute way." <i>Dude. Clarify. </i>"Like, puppy dog cute. Not like, makeout cute. Obviously I wouldn't want to kiss someone who looks like a little kid. Not that you're gross! Or that I wouldn't want to kiss you! Please stop me before I hurt myself." Sometimes Ali had problems being a functioning person. Most of those times had to with Elyas. This was definitely one of those times. "Let's just cuddle and stuff. Hurry, before I say something stupid and change your mind."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Laughing lightheartedly, Elyas took Ali's face into his hands and gave his nose a little kiss. "I think its endearing how flustered you get. Plus your face gets all pink!" He teased lightly, pulling his boyfriend down to the couch in front of the television. "What did you choose to watch?" he asked, curling up next to him and getting all comfy. Ali was warm and smelled nice, so he was already feeling kind of grogy. He knew it wouldn't be long before he was too zoned out to watch any more, but he wasn't sure if he would fall asleep. He'd always had problems with that, so he might stay up all night.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"How about 'Return To The Blue Lagoon'?" asked Ali, who was absolutely crazy about that movie. What? It was romantic- like him. And it got him to fall asleep with minimal trouble. Feeling himself pulled down onto the couch by Elyas, he wrapped his arms around his new boyfriend and gave him a kiss on the forehead. It was something he would have done anyway: after all, Elyas was just so damn cute. Ali was interrupted by this kind of thought when he heard Elyas's phone ring from the other room. "I'll get it," he offered, disentangling himself and walking over to where the phone was. "Hello?"<br>
<br>
<br>
"Ali! Dude! Lazy picks locks!"<br>
<br>
<br>
"Uh...?" asked Ali. That wasn't how he was expecting to be greeted by <i>anyone, </i>much less Bethy. Wasn't she the devious one of the pair?<br>
<br>
<br>
"Look, Dad took away our phones so we couldn't get in contact with you. He's scared you'll turn us gay. He's the one who wrote that shit on our Friendr- both of us completely support you. Okay, Lazy doesn't, but he will. He always comes around. Anyway, I love you- I'll call you back as soon as I can! Are you safe?"<br>
<br>
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Ali laughed at his little sister's concern. "Yeah, I'm at Elyas's house. We're both fine."<br>
<br>
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"Awesome. I'll let Mom know. She does love you, you know. She's just..."<br>
<br>
<br>
"I know. Talk to you later. Love you, bye."<br>
<br>
<br>
"Love you, too. Bye."<br>
<br>
<br>
He hung up, then went to sit back on the couch with Elyas. "Ellie..." <i>You make this worth it. </i>He bent down and kissed Elyas on the lips. <i>I would have done it anyway. </i></div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Surprised by the sudden kiss to the lips, elyas looked at his boyfriend in curiosity for a moment. He wasn't going to complain, however, and just gently pressed their foreheads together. "are you ok?" he asked, quirking his head to the side in question.  He knew coming out like this couldn't be easy... He himself had gone through all this as well.<br>
<br>
<br>
Giving his new boyfriend a reassuring kiss, his clear eyes stared at him in worry and love. "ill be here for you no matter what. I love you."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"I'm fine. That call was for me, actually- it was Bethy, calling to let me know I had her love and support no matter what." He smiled. It was rare, but sometimes Ali swore he really was lucky. "I love you, too..." Suddenly, something strange occurred to him- "Shit." Quickly, he groaned, placing his face into his hands. "Never mind- I'm not fine at all." Breathe in, breathe out. You're alright, god damn it. "I have this chest in my room, and I completely forgot how my father is. He's going to freak out because of the combination lock and probably break it open. I have some stuff in there I'd rather he not see." Like printed chat logs from his transsexual ex-girlfriend, four hundred and fifty dollars in cash, and a shit ton of nude photos, not all of which were his. Some travel brochures...plane tickets...list of contacts...Ali was screwed beyond belief. "I'm gonna have to break in there tomorrow. Hopefully it isn't too late."</div>
				
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							<h1 class="p-title-value">I'm Not Faking It (Mxm)
	
	

	

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					<div class="bbWrapper">Frowning at the sudden change, Elyas stared at his boyfriend in silence for a moment. "I could call in a favor." he suggested. "I have a couple friends who would be willing to help us out. Besides, your family is probably going to be really on guard for either one of us so...we can send them instead." This whole situation was less than desirable, and he was still on the fence about it himself. He really didn't want this to be horrible for Ali...he wanted this relationship to be positive, and contact with his family wasn't going to be very pleasant.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"Friends who aren't nosy?" Ali asked, perking up slightly. Breaking into his own bedroom, into his own house, was not something he was particularly looking forward to, especially because he wasn't sure he wanted to find out if he was fired or not. (And surely whoever was there would tell them...?) "The chest is legally mine- it was given to me by my real father when I was little. I don't want to have someone else break in...in case my stepfather becomes angry. He did threaten us with a loaded gun, after all." He paused. "He threatened me...with a loaded gun. If I say I've been threatened and too scared to get my stuff on my own...I could probably get a police escort...yes, then I could just walk in the front door..." He grinned. "Woo! What a load off. And with the time I don't spend breaking in tomorrow...how about we cuddle? Or..." A devious look, then he whispered in Elyas's ear. "Anyway, time for bed."</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Elyas flushed as Ali leaned in close to whisper in his ear, and he just gave a small nod in response, taking his hand with his own. "I think that sounds like a good idea, the police thing. I'm glad it'll leave you with more time for me, too..." Even though they had been hanging out even though Ali's parents told him not to, they hadn't been spending nearly as much time together as they used to. Although Elyas was really happy that he could spend time with Ali as a lover now, he still did miss his best friend as well, and wanted to do things with him like they used to.<br>
<br>
<br>
Leading his boyfriend to the bedroom, Elyas yawned and crawled into the bed, pressing his face into the soft pillows. His bed wasn't as big as Ali's was, but it was big enough for two people to sleep comfortably, so it was good enough for him.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">So far, it was easy- pretending to be something he was not; pretending to be in love with Elyas. Climbing into bed with Elyas was strange- maybe not prior to this, but now they were a couple, and that meant something different. "We're spooning," he informed Elyas. "No ifs, ands, or buts." He smiled at Elyas but secretly gritted his teeth. He needed to think about this situation a little bit more; think of the possible repercussions. At some point, Bethy and Lazy were going to have to know what he was doing for Elyas, but that day was not today. He needed to know- would Elyas be upset, or hateful, even, if he found out Ali was faking being in love with him?<i> But I do..</i>.He breathed out a hot gust of air onto his best friends' neck. "Love you." <i>I love you, that is...just not at all in the way I've led you to believe. </i><br>
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At home, Lazy checked his phone to find a new text that had come in from a girl-- to Ali. A picture...boobs and all. <i>Coming over tonight? </i>She had texted. <i>I miss you. </i>Lazy gritted his teeth. <i>I knew he was bullshitting...now I gotta tell Elyas. </i></div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">"Alright. Love you too, Ali." Elyas murmured, smiling into the pillows of his bed. He curled up against his boyfriend silently, and for the first time in a very very long time, he thought about how things may just turn out ok. He'd been absolutely crushed, destroyed and smashed to smithereens for a long while, the harsh words of his ex echoing loudly in his brain almost every night. But Ali....Ali, who did everything to make him smile, who went against his parents to make him happy...he inspired Elyas to maybe, just maybe start picking up those broken pieces and put them back together. He knew it was true when a warm feeling spread through his chest as he was wrapped in Ali's embrace, and could feel the tears of joy threatening to overflow his eyes.<br>
<br>
<br>
It wasn't hard for him to fall asleep that night, which was special for an insomniac. He just felt so safe....like Ali would never betray him. All his walls were down, so trusting and everything Elyas had was showing. He'd never been more vulnerable in his life.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">The first step was to not panic, Lazy reassured himself, and so far the first step was coming along nicely. <i>Hey,</i> he texted, knowing he had to keep his words shielded, neutral. He couldn't let on that he knew anything about the liar in Elyas's bed- not when this deceiver, this falsifier, had access to Elyas's cell. <i>I need to chat about Ali ASAP. Don't tell him. It's a secret. </i>Would it be cruel to add a winky face to this conversation? Lazarus battled with himself for a moment before adding the smile, texting shortly after,<i> I miss our conversations. </i>Before Ali made a point of labelling Lazarus the "annoying kid brother", Lazarus and Elyas used to be friends- or, so Lazarus had thought.<br>
<br>
<br>
Ali stayed up a bit, calming with the sound of Elyas's every breath. In and out...He kissed his boyfriend's cheek only once he was positive Elyas was asleep. Sliding out of bed and onto the cold hardwood floor, he slipped onto and over the balcony. He needed to get away- he needed to think, at all costs.<br>
<br>
<br>
The phone was on the table, undisturbed by the mad thoughts floating through Ali Maxwell's head.</div>
				
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					<div class="bbWrapper">Unfortunately for Elyas, he was not a heavy sleeper, and the removal of something warm plus the buzzing of his phone had his eyes fluttering open and his body waking up again unhappily. He assumed that Ali needed to use the bathroom or something when he didn't feel him, and his hand pat on the side table next to the bed until it fell upon the sleek surface of his phone. Picking it up, he blinked away the pain in his eyes from the irritating bright light, and squint at the screen until he could read what the text said. Huh. From Lazy. Deciding to text back before he tried to get some more sleep, his fingers moved across the touch screen as he yawned.<br>
<br>
<br>
<i>Could you sound any more ominous?</i><br>
<br>
<br>
He sent the first text and then immediately started with another one.<br>
<br>
<br>
<i>I'm free tomorrow in the morning if you want to meet me at the cafe down town.</i><br>
<br>
<br>
Lazy would know the one he was talking about. They used to go there all the time before Ali started complaining about him hanging out with his little brother more than him. There was a moment of hesitation before he decided to write one more thing before putting the phone down.<br>
<br>
<br>
<i>I miss talking to you too.</i></div>
				
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