Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]
<h1 id="title">Elliquiy Role Playing Forums</h1>
		<h2 id="linktree">Play-By-Post: Bondage, D/s, S&amp;M =&gt; Bondage: Human Solos =&gt; Topic started by: Sho on 05-07-2009, 13:28:16</h2>
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				Title: <strong>Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>05-07-2009, 13:28:16</strong>
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				God, but the streets were dirty. It was a good thing that he'd been promoted to one of the best boys in the club - it meant that he didn't have to stand on the street corner in itty-bitty shorts and beckon men inside with a coy smile and a flick of his hips anymore. Those days were behind him. No, he had the honor, the privilege...of a large bed with rumpled sheets and and tiny room in which it fit. He had his own bathroom, a tiny little room with a shower in the corner and a stink and toilet, and a dresser that held some clothes but mostly costumes. <br><br>Scoffing at this percieved 'honor', Robin, billed as 'cute tight Robbie', sat on the edge of the bed. He got up a few minute later and smoothed out the sheets, making it up once again, waiting until his last client came before he changed the sheets. <br><br>The headboard was nice, at least, a good thick wood headboard. It was marred by a few hooks where his hands could be cuffed and then restrained, a bit battle-scarred, but nice enough. The comforter was a thick, dark red, made of crushed velvet. It was supposed to invoke luxury but the neon lights pouring in and painting the cracks in the walls yellow and purple and a horrible dayglo pink ruined it. <br><br>There were no pictures on the walls, and the chair in the corner had a bathroom draped over it, though the room itself was quite clean. He looked at himself in the floor-to ceiling mirror, watching himself. <br><br>He looked younger than the seventeen that he was, with wide eyes that were a startling shade of green, flecked through with gold. His lashes were dark and thick, framing the eyes beautifully, hair inky, inky black. The boss had made him grow it out past his shoulders, so men could grab at it, pull his head back and ride him.<br><br>The boss liked to call his hair his 'reins'. <br><br>He was pale, slim, and would probably never grow past five foot five. His legs were long, though, body well-proportioned, cheekbones high and exotic and lips full, the soft cupids bow that so many girls wanted. He frowned and stood up, pulling his robe about him, lighting a cigarette. <br><br>His eighteenth birthday was coming up, and he was already booked for the night by regular clients. His last one had just left - an overweight, earnest man, one who loved to tell Robbie how much he adored him and wished he was his son. Robbie hated the man - he scared him - but the pay was good and his boss always gave him a bit of heroin or cocaine or whatever he had on him as a reward afterwards. <br><br>He didn't need it now, though, so instead dropped the robe once more, tugged on a pair of tight, ripped blue jeans, showing more skin than they hid, and a white tank-top. He left his dark hair free, heading to the front where he knew the manager would be manning the bar and checking people in. He headed down to the counter that served as both bar and welcoming or reception area, and smiled faintly, though it never reached his cold eyes, the exhaustion clear on his slim face. "Can I have a few shots of vodka?"<br><br>It was well known that Robbie was the boss' favorite, and rumors abounded that the boy had never done drugs until the boss started him on them, to make sure he'd never leave. Robbie rarely got to sleep - late nights and early mornings were spent with the boss - and the days and nights were mostly spent with clients. Mid-day was his respite, but now, he had a rare break between clients that he was choosing to spend at the bar instead of in bed, too disgusted with himself to sleep right now. He wondered if anyone else would come down and join him at the bar. Most boys tended to recuperate here after hard or disgusting clients.<br><br>He took the shots and then sat back, waiting for his next client to come in, putting out the cigarette and sucking on a breath mint for a few seconds, putting on some cherry chapstick so that he would taste fresh and clean for whoever he was supposed to be servicing next. 
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>05-07-2009, 14:17:34</strong>
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				He shielded himself from the heavy rain and cursed again at his own stupidity in forgetting to bring his umbrella. Rolling up the collar of his raincoat he battled uselessly in preventing the rivulets of water snaking down his neck and soaking his suit.<br><br>The wet pavements reflected the overhanging neon signs, but the wavering puddles that were being pounded with the rain made the reflections waver and splinter. Darrien kept his head low and his eyes focussed on the cracked and dirty concrete paving slabs not wanting to be distracted. Despite the heaviness of the rain, the night in this part of town was anything but quiet.<br><br>Taking a deep breath he hurried on, his senses assaulted with the noise, flashing lights and the greasy smell of fried food that emanated from the kebab and oriental cooked chickens, lazily rotating on their spits behind smeared and misted-up shop windows.<br><br>Lewd calls, propositions and scantily clad women repeatedly blocked his path but he wasn’t interested in the wares they had to ply. His needs were different.<br><br>He had known from his early teens that he was not the same as his contemporaries and the public school that he had been dumped in by his cold, indifferent parents had mercilessly exposed that the moment he had been lax enough to let down his guard. From then on he had kept his preferences private. Outwardly, he dated women but inwardly he derived little pleasure from his liaisons. He controlled his private life ruthlessly but every once in a while, when the stress of his work or life got too much, he went to find solace from other sources.<br><br>The previous establishment that he used had been raided by the police and two months ago and he had been left without any options. It had taken him weeks of background checks to find the place where he was going to tonight.<br><br>At last, he saw the sign he was looking for. The door had been painted white in a former life but the paintwork was now cracked and peeling, but he was not here for aesthetics. His long forefinger pressed on the stainless steel buzzer.<br><br>Immediately, sounds emanated from the bowels of the building and the door opened to let him in. In front of him, the red fake mahogany reception with the full length mirror behind had seen better days, just beyond he caught sight of another room, a bar that was buzzing with male punters and younger men whom he assumed were the rent-a-boys. <br><br>A lone naked light bulb overhead cast shadows in the entrance hall. The room was empty and he glanced at his own reflection.<br><br>Dark hair was plastered to his scalp and the slight dark rings caused by lack of sleep, under his hazel eyes had become more prominent. He was indifferent to his looks but enough women had swooned at his feet for him to know that his six foot, toned physique attracted them in droves. One had described him as an edgy, dangerous but younger Pierce Brosnan. He smiled at the memory, but noticed that despite the curl of his lips, his reflection, dressed in a charcoal-coloured tailored suit, looked back coldly as before.<br><br>A sound behind him disrupted his thoughts and he turned around at the intrusion. A greased up man, similar in height to him leered suggestively.<br><br>“You must be Jake,” the man grinded out, using Darrien’s alter ego, “Robbie’s nine o’clock.”<br>
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>06-07-2009, 07:11:54</strong>
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				The minute that the receptionist cum bartender cum bodyguard greeted Jake at the door, Robbie tossed back another shot of vodka and got up, stumbling off the stool then righting himself. He smoothed his clothes as best they could be given how tight they were, coming slowly into the room with a coy smile on his face.<br><br>It didn't suit him - the seedy atmosphere, the drippingly sexual smile, the way the clothes hung off of his body like he was for sale - though it was all part of his package.<br><br>He was indeed for sale. <br><br>The big doe-eyes blinked up at Jake, and there was a quietness that showed he probably wouldn't remember Jake's name for long despite his handsomeness, that every client was just a handful of cash to him and nothing more. Or at least, that he tried to feign that sort of indifference, though...given his age and the softness he had to him, he likely remembered every single client in glaring and intimate detail.<br><br>"I got it, Jim, thanks." Robbie waved the man away with a slim hand. <br><br>He gestured with that hand, a small flick of white fingertips, still smiling. "C'mon. Follow me upstairs." Robbie mounted the creaking steps, up the shabby dark red carpeting, white walls stained. He didn't touch them. He walked down a hall to a cracked door that was thin, pressing it open, lifting the handle and laying his miniscule weight against it. <br><br>The door opened, obviously reluctantly, on a bad set of hinges. His room, with the large red bed, gauzy drapes shut, was revealed. He swung the door shut behind Jake and then turned to him, dark hair brushing his cheeks. "I'm Robbie. Can I take your suit jacket?" Robbie's voice wasn't cultured but he spoke well, as though he had learned from movies or books, and he reached out his hands to take the suit jacket and hang it up on a hook on the wall. <br><br>"Alright, a quick rundown of the rules..." Robbie recited these things in a soft voice, ticking them off on his fingers, "You pay by the hour, starting when the door shuts. Fifty an hour. If you want to go longer, I can call down to the front desk. Any food or liquor is on your dime. Bondage costs more - prices depends on what you want - but..." Robbie paused to think, seeing if he missed anything, "I'll do anything you want me to do. Just name it, I'll do it. Don't be afraid to ask me for anything..." he stepped forwards, running hands appreciatively down the man's chest, admiring the muscles.<br><br>It was a pleasant change from his paunchy clients.<br><br>"Oh, and marking me - bites and spanking and stuff - is more expensive too." Robbie added it as an afterthought, then turned back to his task of unbuttoning the man's shirt, smiling up at him, not quite up to his chin in his bare feet. The room was chilly, and dry, and there wasn't a textbook in site. Not the sort of room your average young man might have. 
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>06-07-2009, 19:37:26</strong>
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				It had been a long time for Darrien. Evening after evening of vacuous blondes, brunettes, red heads and everything in between. Evenings of tiresome conversation, nights of pretending to be someone else and days of just throwing himself into his job and incessant travel so that he wouldn’t have to think. His lapses, and that was the way he saw them, were infrequent, but yet meant the difference to him of being able to get through another couple months. The couplings were usually frenzied, sometimes rough and short-lived and almost exclusively with escorts or prostitutes of a certain type. Slim, dark haired early twenties and that was what he had asked for tonight.<br><br>In fact it had been so long that it was initially just the animal instincts that made him follow the young man in front of him, the sleaze bag at the front completely forgotten. He was so mesmerized by the swaying, ripped, tight jeans in front of him, by the lithe figure and the graceful way that he moved up the stairs that initially that is all that he saw.<br><br>Then the chill of the room hit him as Robbie took off his coat. The dampness of his shirt made the material semi-transparent and he felt strangely exposed.<br><br>He shivered involuntarily, the physical discomfort bringing him away from his lust but he still couldn’t concentrate on the long list of instructions the young man rattled off.<br><br>“…you pay by the hour….”<br><br>He looked around the sparse room. Red bed. Battered head board. Hooks. He mentally catalogued everything.<br><br>“….bondage costs more…”<br><br>Long dark hair. Haunted green eyes. Pale. Slim. How old was he?<br><br>“I'll do anything you want me to do. Just name it, I'll do it.”<br>It brought him back to another place, another time as he felt the young man touch him for the first time.<br><br>It really had been too long. He closed his eyes and felt another touch on his chest, he would be lying to himself to say that he wasn’t enjoying the sensation.<br><br>“…marking me - bites and spanking…”<br><br>Christ!<br><br>Then he felt his buttons being slowly undone and he knew he had to control himself. Robbie may have been smiling at him but he knew that it was hollow. It took every ounce, but he covered Robbie’s hands with his own and pulled them away.<br><br>“How old are you?” his own voice sounded harsh to his ears.<br>
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>07-07-2009, 08:59:28</strong>
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				Robbie's fingers had been working so methodically, body swaying in that way that he had worked on, wanting to make the other man forget everything but him. He was convinced that he could do it, too, and maybe milk a generous tip out of him. There was a video game console he had been wanting. And a TV to play it on. Usually, though, the money went to drugs before anything else. <br><br>He looked surprised, though, staring at the hands covering his own when they were pulled away from Darrien's chest. "Twenty one. That's what you asked for, isn't it? I told you. I'm here to give you what you want."<br><br>Robbie's impatience masked the lie easily.<br><br>His body, though, didn't. No twenty one year old was quite so fair and slim and delicate. No twenty one year old had that doe-like look to their eyes, or that dogged determination that there might be something better than this life. <br><br>Most people, in these situations, had become hopeless by twenty one. <br><br>The air conditioning was turned on high enough to make it a bit chilly in the room, and Robbie pressed a bit closer, biting his full bottom lip. "Don't ask questions," he whispered, pressing his hands forwards.<br><br>He wanted to get the other man undressed. <br><br>He was anxious, though, hearing that harshness in the other man's voice. It showed at the corners of his eyes, anxious to please, wanting to make the amount of money he was supposed to. "Is there anything in particular you want? I'll do it, just tell me..."<br><br>Robbie's voice was soft, melodic, and oh-so-sexual. He tugged gently on the other man's hands, trying to get back to unbuttoning the shirt, waiting to undress himself until they were ready to start. There was almost nothing in the room besides them.<br><br>A rickety chair was over in the corner, air-conditoner on the wall, the door to the bathroom ajar enough to show clean-looking red towels draped off the sagging bar of a shower door. The sink was hidden behind the scratched door. There were no books, toys, or photographs.<br><br>Nothing to mark this room from any other whorehouse bedroom. <br><br>"I'll make you forget your own name..." Robbie purred, standing on his tiptoes to let his lips graze the other man's jawline gently.
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>09-07-2009, 00:50:39</strong>
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				The soft lips on his stubble unsettled him. Forgetting his own name? As long as Jake didn't accidently become Darrien, he would be fine.<br><br>Robbie's hands were still tugging at him, insisting urgently to undress him. Clearly he had misjudged Robbie’s determination, so he strengthened his hold on the slim wrists, taking care not to cause pain.<br><br>Pain, now there was a concept in itself.<br><br>No matter what kinks or unappetizing preferences he had in his sexual practices, he hated the idea and he never derived any gratification from it. No doubt if a shrink ever got their hands on him, they would have a field day with the reasons, but that wasn’t going to happen. He had promised that to himself a long time ago. Anyway, psychologists in his view were on a par with pimps.<br><br>He caught his mind wandering and brought his attention back to Robbie and noted the slight desperation in Robbie’s eyes that hadn’t been quite masked behind the fake lustful glances. He relented even though he was beginning to think the evening was a lost cause, but he knew from experience that the kid probably had a target to meet.<br><br>“Look,” he said keeping his voice low just in case his paranoia was well-founded and someone was listening in, “I’m wet, cold and tired. In that order ... and I really want to get out of these clothes.”<br><br>He glanced down at his damp shirt that was gaping open, showing a small amount of dark hair. He remembered the way Robbie’s hands had started to feel his body and wondered what he would make of what was not on view, a handful of scars and a snaking, Cyrillic metallic looking tattoo that went from his left hip to his groin.<br><br>He paused and then continued, “By myself...and then have a hot shower.” He saw Robbie looking back at him, looking increasingly incredulous.<br><br>“Then, you can use that time to decide if you’re going to tell me the truth. If I believe you, I’ll guarantee you at least three hours and half again as a tip, whatever your answer, whatever happens tonight.” He kept his tone businesslike.<br><br>The money wasn’t an issue for him. Robbie’s rate was cheap in comparison to what he usually paid, so he could afford to be generous.<br><br>The quiet nagging voice at the back of his mind sneered at him, taunting him about developing a conscience.<br><br>No. That was unthinkable. He couldn’t afford a conscience. Besides, he was protecting a reputation that he had worked night and day to build up.<br><br>“So,” he said to the young man, “are you going to consider my proposal?” His voice was blunt, his tone still quiet.&nbsp; <br><br><br><br>
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>09-07-2009, 08:55:26</strong>
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				At first, Robbie's hands had been quick and eager to undress the other man, wanting absolutely nothing to do with words. Words made him remember his clients and that was always a bad thing. Words were always bad...they led to affection, and attachment, and in the end....sadness. This was different, though. There were no empty 'I love you's'. Instead, it was...'Jake' being wet, and cold and tired. <br><br>"...and I really want to get out of these clothes."<br><br>Robbie could help him there, though at the next words, he removed his hands and let them hang by his side.<br><br>His eyes were wide, and not so much confused, as disbelieving. <br><br>"You're serious? I mean...yeah, of course I'll take the proposal."<br><br>How could he not? It was, if he told the truth, a free ticket to good pay and a more relaxing evening than he had hoped for. "Bathroom's in there..." Robbie said, pointing with a small hand.<br><br>He moved to the edge of the bed, sitting there rather incredulously, then turning to watch Jake with wide, thoughtful eyes. "Should be shampoo and body wash in there, too. Unless you want me to take the shower with you...?" Robbie offered it quietly, seeming willing, though the look on his face made it clear the other man didn't think he'd accept the offer.<br><br>"I don't know why you want to know my age. Twenty one should fit what you asked for." Robbie was in the business of selling dreams, not truths. He got up, and got a hanging for Jake's coat, taking it off the peg and slipping it onto the hanging so the collar wouldn't stretch or the shoulders deform or wrinkle, "I'm seventeen. Turning eighteen soon," Robbie admitted before the man could get in the shower, figuring that if he was going to be scared off by his age, he would rather that Jake do it before he used his shampoo. <br><br>He smoothed the coat carefully and then hung it, once more, returning to the bed where he sat, bare feet dangling, looking out the window and then back to Jake again.
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>18-07-2009, 19:09:36</strong>
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				“Thank you,” Darrien replied with sincerity. He left it vague whether he was thanking for the jacket being hung up or the truth that had just come from the young man’s lips.<br><br>&nbsp;He caught the tone in his own voice and wondered how long it had been since he had meant something he had said. He gave himself a mental shrug. He didn’t have time for such things.<br><br>He started to undress methodically in front of Robbie, taking the time to decide what he was going to do. The young man was legal, but….far too many ‘buts’.<br><br>Shoes and socks were taken off and put into a corner next to the chair, belt, damp trousers, wet shirt all followed in fluid motion until he was left in a pair of black Calvin Klein figure hugging boxer shorts. All the time he was undressing he could feel Robbie’s gaze on him and he had to admit it was slightly unsettling.<br><br>Turning around, he walked towards the bathroom, leaving an uncomfortable silence in his wake as well as giving Robbie the first sight of the scars on his back. Some men had told him they were sexy, personally, he saw them as chapters in his life that were inscribed on his skin, possible to ignore but nearly impossible to eradicate.<br><br>He took off his final article of clothing and briefly wondered what Robbie would make of the tattoo.&nbsp; Walking into the small shower cubicle he momentarily considered the young man’s proposal of a joint shower but dismissed it and closed the glass door to show that he was going to wash himself. He still needed the time to think.<br><br>The first hot jet of water was relaxing and he found his muscles slowly unwinding. The smell of the shampoo, a mixture of lavender and cedar, filled the bathroom as Darrien’s hands rubbed the lather across his body. He lingered momentarily between his legs but quickly remembered Robbie’s eyes and stopped. He was not here to seduce, just to fill a need.<br><br>With that sobering thought he stepped out and reached for one of the red towels which barely covered him and walked to the doorway of the bathroom and leaned against its wooden frame. For the first time he returned Robbie’s look.<br><br>He had finally made up his mind. Robbie’s reaction to him and what he said would determine what he was going to do.<br><br>Finally, Darrien broke the silence that had been stretching between the two of them, “So…what do you want to do? Some food and then see where it leads? Or…do you just want to call it a day and have the next three hours to yourself?”<br>
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>21-07-2009, 09:20:39</strong>
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				Robbie nodded and offered a faint smile but those pale eyes drank in every line of the otehr man's body, including the tattoo, and scars. If he got to know him more intimately he would run his fingertips over every inch and try to figure out how the other man had gotten them; see how the tattoo tasted under his tongue. For now, though, he just watched him. The man was far more attractive than his usual customers, a pleasant change, the sort of man who actually made Robbie's body respond without his having to coax it too much.<br><br>He turned away as the man showered, not able to see too much through the frosted glass doors anyway, listening to the sounds of the street drift through the thin glass window that looked out. <br><br>"...By the hour!"<br><br>"Great hips, soft lips!"<br><br>"Best girls on the block Give 'em a whirl!"<br><br>His own bar conducted their advertisements more quietly - boys leaning against the street corner - with their newer members. Robbie tucked his legs up under him and let the sounds wash over him and distract him.<br><br>Looking out, he couldn't help but remember when he had started, so desperate for cash that at first he had given a blowjob a try and realized how easy it was to make money, climbing in and out of cars. He had had more than a few scares and near-death experiences climbing in and out of cars that belonged to, usually, nameless strangers who would drive him to a dark back alley. <br><br>Then Sable found him, took him in, gave him slutty clothes - but clothes nonetheless - to wear, weaning him from the 'dirty' drugs to more pure ones like cocaine, getting him well and truly hooked so that he would never be able to leave. Not that Jake knew any of that, or likely, ever would. Maybe one day he'd save enough up to hoof it out of this town. Head off to a new city and get an apartment, maybe a legitimate job. He already had a decent amount saved up. <br><br>His head snapped up when Jake spoke again, turning towards him, sending the dark hair sliding over his shoulders in a glossy wash. The edge of his jawline up to his ear bore the faintest traces of bruises, almost entirely healed by now.<br><br>"Food sounds great," Robbie said, honestly. <br><br>He felt half starved, "I'll call down for something." Robbie rooted about in a drawer then withdrew an abused looking menu, gesturing at it to indicate the man should choose what he wanted, fingertips running over the cheap plastic phone next to the bed. The boys weren't allowed cellphones and didn't have them unless a client bought them. Cellphones encouraged them to wander too far from the confines of their musty little bedrooms. <br><br>"Don't eat the shrimp, though. It'll lay you out flat for a weak with stomach problems. The chicken alfredo pasta is pretty good and so is the baked fish in white wine sauce. I'm gonna get spaghetti and marinara sauce with a salad on the side." Robbie paused, once more, "Then...wine, too? Red? White?" There were no exotic types of wine - no chardonnay or sauvignon blanc - just red or white. That was all that Robbie had known and he let the bar make the selections for him.
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>21-07-2009, 15:55:59</strong>
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				Darrien gave a faint smile at Robbie’s run down of the menu and his analysis of each dish.<br><br>“You choose as you clearly know what’s best around here and I trust you not to order the shrimps,” he replied with the same slight smile.<br><br>“I’ll pass on the wine. It’s been a long week and…,” he trailed off. Too much information. He’d only known the boy for half an hour and his was already becoming loose-mouthed, so instead he focused on Robbie making the call for their food.<br><br>He was attractive. There was no denying that and Darrien’s body was reacting to that, but there was something that made him feel uneasy. He wasn’t used to that. This “encounter” was different from the others. Most of the men Darrien had slept with in the past were older, more cynical and certainly more streetwise. There was usually no conversation, certainly no food, just animalistic fucking. He took charge and viewed the whole thing as a transaction, which is exactly what it was. There was no intimacy. He didn’t need it. He didn’t let them touch him, beyond what was necessary, penetrate him or kiss him. He didn’t want complications. He had his own rules that he stuck to.<br><br>Christ he was tired. Two long haul flights in a week, the latest of which had only landed a few hours ago. He had tried to go to place he euphemistically called home to get some sleep, but oblivion hadn’t been forthcoming, so he had put on the same crumpled suit and come here.<br><br>Darrien crossed the small space of the room and sat next to Robbie on the bed. He continued his appraisal of the young man as he finished the call. He looked tired, almost as tired as him, the professional insomniac. There was also something fragile about him and then he noticed a slight discolouration of his skin. If his skin wasn’t so pale he may not have noticed it, but he was attentive and he knew the sight of an old bruise when he saw it.<br><br>Pimp? Punter? He didn’t have the right to ask.<br><br>“So when’s the food arriving?” he asked in an effort to distract himself.<br>
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>22-07-2009, 08:33:47</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				"Yeah," Robbie spoke into the phone, twirling the cord around his finger looking for all the world like a teenager in a fifties movie, "Chicken alfredo pasta and the baked chicken with wine sauce. No, I don't - yes, yes. Yes. Chicken. Chicken pasta. Chicken alfredo...for God's sake, would you put someone on the phone who knows what the kitchen makes?" Robbie frowned, and there was a rustling from the phone, then Robbie placed the order once more and hung up. "Fifteen minutes. It doesn't take too long to make."<br><br>He looked at the man sitting to the side in his tiny towel, smiling a bit and then looking out the window briefly before turning, looking up at Darrien. "You look exhausted," he said softly, realizing it for the first time as he looked at the man.<br><br>A small hand reached out, gently stroking the side of his cheek, then up.<br><br>He was careful not to be rough, just gently brushing the bags under his eyes, smoothing a hand down his cheek once more and looking up at him with that smile still on his face, a welcoming one.<br><br>"You must have a tough job." <br><br>He had his left leg folded up on the bed, slim foot tucked under the opposite thigh, still not wearing much even in his jeans. They were torn and ripped to the point of being indecent, and he clearly wasn't wearing any underwear underneath, at least, not underwear that would be visible under the huge rips traversing his pale thigs and crisscrossing each other. The tank top clung almost indecently to his body as he leant back a bit and looked at Darrien.<br><br>He was nervous about making a move, now, not wanting to scare the man out of the room as he was the first client to want to just relax and eat with him. His ankle bobbed faintly - it was crisscrossed with two thick star shaped scars, almost invisible against his pale skin - and its shape was just a bit off, as though it had been broken and then hadn't healed properly when it finally did. He could clearly walk on it, though. <br><br>The boy was the posterchild for a young man who had lost all hope for an academic future - at least in his own mind - and was more intimately tied o the streets than he actually cared to admit. <br><br>A quick knock at the door, only ten minutes in, announced their food.<br><br>"Huh. Quick."<br><br>They must have supplanted someone else's order in order to please Robbie, knowing full well that his clients paid more than others, and that meant Robbie would pass on a bigger tip to the kitchen than other boys would.<br><br>Robbie went to the door and took the large wood tray, setting it down on the bed. "Sorry...I don't have a table and chairs, or anything. I hope that bed's okay." A carafe of sparkling water with a slice of lemon had been included with two wine glasses - a surprisingly nice touch given how shabby the establishment seemed to be. The food looked good, fairly fresh, and it was steaming. Robbie shut the door immediately afterwards. <br><br>After Darrien, the door would be locked, and he would be sealed in for the night.<br><br>He picked up a fork and immediately popped a piece of chicken into his mouth, licking the cream off the metal tines with a grin, "Good food, if nothing else. Tell me about what you do for work."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>23-07-2009, 15:44:04</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				It was such a simple gesture and yet Darrien’s mind instinctively flinched from the implied intimacy although he tried to school his features so that Robbie would not see anything amiss. <br><br>He didn’t want it. He didn’t need it.<br><br>He thought the arrival of the food saved him, but then Robbie asked about his job.<br><br>“I’m a lawyer,” he lied easily. Almost too easily, but “Jake’s” cover story had been honed through many visits to establishments such as these.<br><br>“I deal mainly with cases on International Law. You know, border disputes, issues of sovereignty, United Nations stuff and so on,” he paused and then continued, “This week has just been one too many overseas flight, with difficult clients, who expect everything done yesterday.”<br><br>He sighed.<br><br>It was a good cover story as Darrien usually found people were either bored by lawyers or too scared of the legalese to question “Jake” too closely. His own world however, was rather different to this. As the chief foreign correspondent for a very well-known broadsheet, he had a reputation to protect. His first editor had once told him that he could never write the news if he was going to be in it. This was something that Darrien Calder had taken to heart and coupled with his instinctive suspicion of the human race, mixed with five years in the more secretive parts of the army, had led to Jake Cartwright to being created to lead his double life.<br><br>Jake, in theory, was everything that Darrien was not, but the truth was not as clear cut and theory and reality diverged. He wondered whether Robbie actually believed Jake’s cover story.<br><br>The ache in his back disrupted his train of thoughts and he stretched, thinking that any other time, he would have welcomed a massage.<br><br>He re-arranged himself on the bed and lay sideways, so he could relieve the strained muscles and see Robbie at the same time. Then following the young man’s example, he experimentally skewered some food and popped the chicken into his mouth.<br><br>“Mmmm,” he said between mouthfuls, surprised at how good it actually tasted. “This is such a welcome change from that disgusting stuff that airlines call food.”<br><br>He regarded Robbie across from him on the bed and admired the lean, slim body under the fairly non-existent clothes, his mind going back again to wistful thoughts of a massage.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>24-07-2009, 08:27:26</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				"No wonder you're tired. That sounds like a terrible job," Robbie said, face frank, voice more than honest. He was allowed to tell the truth about his client's jobs. Most of them didn't like their jobs as it was, and they complained to Robbie. He didn't particularly care what Darrien did, though, so long as he paid...and continued to look quite so good. It was his job to be impartial to what people did for a job, though, so he didn't say too much about Darrien's.<br><br>He smiled when "Jake" made the comment about airline food, "I've heard that. Wouldn't know myself, though...never been on a plane before, at least, not that I can remember. Don't think I have, at least." <br><br>He stretched slowly.<br><br>Robbie took a few more bites of food then set his plate aside, "You're obviously pretty sore. You want me to give you a back massage? I'm not a masseuse, but I'm okay at it, if you'll let me..."<br><br>He held up his hands and wiggled his fingers with a faint smile gracing his pale features, shrugging.<br><br>"It'll probably help you relax a little. You seem pretty stressed out."<br><br>Robbie made a lot of money at his job, mostly because his clients often grew attached to him, being sucked in by his personable nature that made each night of sex seem more intimate than just a quick fuck. <br><br>It was also why Robbie was so unhappy.<br><br>Each new client seemed like a new beginnin, someone he might be able to trust, maybe a friend. He tried to hold onto some hope and view it that way. Instead, though, what usually ended up happening was that he was sad and alone at the end of the day when his clients went home to their wives, thinking of men who had no real love for him, and only managing to retain a tiny portion of the money he had earned.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>24-07-2009, 22:06:22</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				For the first time in a long while Darrien felt embarrassed. It wasn’t his job that was terrible, it was Robbie’s. Darrien’s job was his life. It stressed him out and exhausted him but he would be able to cope without it. Robbie’s situation couldn’t really be compared to him.<br><br>Although, sometimes, late at night when he couldn’t sleep, he did wonder what else was in his life. No real friends that he could trust, a family that he hadn’t spoken to in over a decade and not a single relationship that had lasted over a month.<br><br>Robbie’s exuberance distracted him from his thoughts again and he could see why the man he had spoken to had recommended him highly. The attraction aside, the young man next to him on the bed had a certain charm and charisma that was infectious, even to someone as jaded as him.<br><br>The wiggling fingers made him laugh, yet another first.<br><br>He nearly shook his head though, almost declined the offer, but then changed his mind as he wondered what would happen if for just one night, just for few hours, he briefly let go and didn’t stick to his rules. Would it be so bad?<br><br>The age still bothered him though, but being brutally honest, if it wasn’t him, it would be someone else and he was only doing it for just one night, wasn’t he?<br><br>“You read my thoughts,” he replied, his voice slightly rough and husky through tiredness. “I would really love a back rub.”<br><br>He then changed his position, and lay face down on the bed cover. He left the small towel around his waist. It would be up to the other man whether he would remove it and frankly after what had happened to him as a teenager at school, he had never really enjoyed being touched there.<br><br>Darrien then shut his eyes and tried to relax as he felt Robbie come next to him.<br><br><br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>25-07-2009, 07:24:36</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie grinned when the other man relented. "You're in the right place, then." Slim hands quickly shifted the food to the floor, all still on the tray, where they could reach it if they wanted. He cracked his knuckles and then moved a bit closer, tight jeans clinging to him in the worst way.<br><br>For Darrien, at least. It was temptation at its best.<br><br>He straddled himself over Darrien's back, moving so he was sitting on top of his ass, effectively. The other man could feel Robbie's backside through his jeans, plump and pert and young enough to still be tight and perfectly shaped. Especially obvious through the tight jeans. <br><br>Slim hands carressed the other man's back - Robbie's fingertips were cool - courtesy of the faulty heating in the brothel was winter stole over them.<br><br>He then moved his hands to the back of Darrien's neck, smiling faintly, "You're strong," he murmured appreciatively. His hand cupped the back of Darrien's neck and smoothed it.<br><br>His hands squeezed and carressed, beginning to work the tension out of Darrien's neck, fingers almost magical as they smoothed out, palms flat on his shoulders before he gripped, rolling his hands to remove the built up tension.<br><br>He worked methodically down from the other man's shoulders, down his back, making his small hands into fists and padding up and down either side of his spine, working out the small knots that had accumulated there.<br><br>"So," he said quietly, leaning over to apply a bit more pressure, sitting atop the towel, "You're not really a lawyer, are you?"<br><br>He laughed quietly, and went back to applying pressure to Darrien's muscles, "I wouldn't be surprised if your name wasn't even Jake. S'okay, though." He ran his fingertips up and down the man's back almost lovingly, and then went back to working out the tension with carefully applied fingers, "Tell me about yourself. I can tell that you work a lot, but...when you have time off, what do you do for fun? What do you do to relax?"<br><br>He pressed a gentle kiss to the other man's shoulder.<br><br>It wasn't sexual, just a stolen moment of intimacy, one of the few moments he took where he managed to get them.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>26-07-2009, 20:23:20</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				The pressure of Robbie’s weight on him and the feel of his nearly naked arse through the towel coupled with those cool talented hands kneading his muscles, felt like pure luxury to Darrien. He would have liked to moan in unadulterated pleasure, but there was still too much self-control asserting itself in the back of his mind to completely let go, so he remained silent. Then fingers played gently on his skin and he shivered slightly from the frisson it created and suddenly realised he hadn’t felt this comfortable in a long time.<br><br>The kiss when it came felt so simple and yet too intimate.<br><br>Any other time, his mind would be screaming for escape, but, somehow, this time, he didn’t tense and just accepted it for what it was. Later, in the early hours of the morning as he lay in his own bed, he would probably hate the treachery of his physical response, hate feeling needy, but for now he would not think. He would just take the moment and see what came next.<br><br>So it was in this spirit that he managed to ignore Robbie’s earlier comment about the lie over his job. He merely gave a slight shrug.<br><br>“You can believe what you want,” came the answer slightly muffled by the bed cover. Robbie clearly wasn’t stupid, which he liked. He probably had had many clients who wanted to remain anonymous.<br><br>He was glad that Robbie hadn’t asked about the scars, too many people did and it irritated him.<br><br>He let those hands massage the tight knotted tension away from lower down his back before he spoke again, just enjoying the sensations in a moment of companionable silence. <br><br>“As you probably figured out, I don’t do too much relaxing,” he finally replied with a wry tone. “I spend an awful lot of time in airport lounges and in hotels.”<br><br>He went quite again as Robbie worked on a particularly tense part of his back.<br><br>“I work out when I can, hotels always have gyms and I usually take a pair of running shoes to whatever part of the world I happen to be in…and then…the usual…films, usually fifties, sixties… but I can’t remember the last time I watched anything…I like good food, fine wines….but I usually prefer to dine alone.” His response was punctuated with pauses as he briefly lost concentration through Robbie’s wonderful work.<br><br>“A very long time ago….I used to play the piano….so when I get the time, which is rare, I still enjoy playing…but I don’t get the opportunity very often.” He thought of his Steinway back at the apartment that had lay untouched for months.<br><br>Darrien realised that his list of interests sounded pitifully short, even to his own ears.<br><br>“But what about you?” he asked in return.<br><br>Then before Robbie could answer he turned his head round and regarded the young man from the far corner of his eyes, with a slight mischievous smile on his lips and asked, “And I’ve been dying to ask this, as much I enjoy seeing you in those jeans, are they actually comfortable?”<br><br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>27-07-2009, 09:45:08</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie nodded but continued to let his hands work. Any fool could see that the man beneath him never worked, but that was what paid for the expensive suit, for the finely tailored jacket that he had worn despite the rain. The jacket was still damp but finally starting to dry out a little bit. <br><br>"Piano?" Robbie's voice was pleased but a little bit wistful. He had only ever heard piano on the CDs that Sable sometimes liked to play while he had his wine and cigarette after sex.<br><br>"That's such a cool thing...to be able to play piano..."<br><br>He leant in harder to work the worst tension out of Darrien's back, pressing down hard with his hands, shutting his mouth tightly as he applied the hardest pressure.<br><br>He relaxed a bit when asked what he did.<br><br>He laughed, though, when asked immediately afterwards if his jeans were comfortable. "No," he shrugged, "Not really comfortable, but..." he shrugged slightly, "They look good and they cover more than my shorts."<br><br>He grinned and presesd another kiss to Darrien's spine, then, where it came to a nob at the base of his neck. "I don't have any hobbies," he said, and his body lifted a bit as he shrugged.<br><br>"Sometimes I drink. Other times I do drugs," he admitted, entirely honest. He didn't read - he was barely literate - and he took the drugs to forget the sex that paid for his drinks. The drugs were encouraged by his boss, mostly so that he would never be able to leave, though with a good rehab program he could probably stop. <br><br>"Not much to do around here, so...I don't really have any real hobbies. I used to sing in a church choir, when I was young. I still can...my voice never really dropped too low...but..." he shrugged, "No churches around here, at least. Doubt my boss would let me go even if there were."<br><br>He didn't sound sad, though, or upset by this turn of events.<br><br>This was what his life was. Every day, this was how he spent his time.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>28-07-2009, 00:58:34</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“I did drugs for a brief period,” he replied softly as if remembering something a long time ago. “The Army beat it out of me though … literally.”<br><br>He paused as if remembering something distasteful.<br><br>“Robbie, I don’t judge people…I’ve been there, done that and usually got more than the t-shirt, but I can honestly say that it wasn’t the best period in my life. But, it’s your life, only you can decide what you do with it.”<br><br>He realized that he was sounding preachy, so he changed the subject. He wasn’t exactly whiter than white himself and he most definitely wasn't here to be a mentor.<br><br>“As to the piano, I only ever got grief from my parents when I started to play. Initially, it was my way of doing a strange teenage rebellion, but after a while I really enjoyed it and it was a way of relaxing and not thinking about things. It still is….”<br><br>His voice trailed off. He had never said this to anyone but strangely enough, he didn’t mind talking whilst lying in a brothel, nearly naked with a young man he didn’t know sitting on his arse. Sometimes life had a way of being quirky.<br><br>“I’ve always loved music, but haven’t been to a concert for an age.”<br><br>He never got the time. Booking tickets required advance planning and he wasn’t sure where he was going to be from one week to another.<br><br>“It’s great that you sing. I could imagine you as an angelic chorister,” he smiled slightly as he said this, his voice, still low and slightly gravely, thick with impending sleep. “I never got in with the God thing. Too much stuff happening for me to believe in anything. I believe you choose your own fate but then I guess I’m fatalist at heart.”<br><br>He turned his torso so he was lying on his back, facing Robbie, who was still straddling him. He didn’t want to sleep yet and the irony amused him, so he stretched his hand and slowly brushed the slim denim clad leg in front of him.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>29-07-2009, 00:09:53</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie laughed, softly, and then shrugged faintly. "I don't like the drugs. No one likes to be addicted to anything. They're like...they're like wearing a blindfold. Let me ignore what I don't want to see." Like the fact that he was underaged, uneducated, with a past he didn't want to remember and an even bleaker future lying ahead of him, his beauty sure to fade if he didn't manage to get clean relatively soon. <br><br>"That was your teenage rebellion? Wow," Robbie laughed, "My rebellion was running away from home." Ending up hooking along the streets until Sable picked him up and gave him a real job...or at least a job that provided a room instead of an alleyway as his place to curl up at night when he managed to get a few hours of sleep.<br><br>"A concert? I'd love to go to a real concert..." <br><br>Robbie shrugged slightly and smiled as the man turned, "I used to go to Church but once I ran way..." he shrugged expansively, "There aren't churches in this part of town and I doubt any church would have me." <br><br>His sins were written too deeply onto his soul for him ever to forgive himself.<br><br>Robbie smiled faintly as the hand ran over his leg. <br><br>In turn, he ran his hands down Darrien's chest, "You have a great body," he said with an extremely pleased smile.<br><br>[Guh. Sorry not my best...jetlag is taking its toll...]
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>30-07-2009, 01:13:49</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				He remained quiet. It seemed to be a night for memories.<br><br>He was too exhausted to control the flow that he usually held off. The scent of the shower gel that still hung around the small room and the pressure of from Robbie’s groin-to-groin contact, took him back to another time, with another young man.<br><br>He was sixteen and still at school, the other boy, a tall, slim 17 year old. Darrien thought back to the grinding on the bed, the friction, the uncontrolled touching between the two. The illicit feel of two school boys disobeying the monks at their monastic boarding school and not caring as they were lost in the newly discovered pleasure of each other’s bodies.<br><br>Then the inevitable. <br><br>The shame of the discovery and shame of lying that he had misled by the older boy to save himself. <br><br>The loss of a friend and the humiliation suffered at the hand of his peers and worse, the abuse from his parents. <br><br>“Your music is an extension of your homosexuality,” they had shouted, banning all lessons.<br><br>He frowned as he remembered but Robbie’s touching bought him back to more recent pleasures and he held on to the his slim leg like an anchor that he hoped would keep him in the present. <br><br>He returned the attractive smile and looked into the mesmerising green eyes in front of him but part of him was still thinking back to that other seventeen year old as his hand continued to slowly explore the rips in the denim covering the legs straddling him.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>30-07-2009, 02:25:39</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie let the other man touch his thigh, feeling the fingers brush denim then skin, denim then skin. He felt nostalgic at the careful, slow touches. The first time he had had sex had been dark and terrible and he had been left bleeding in a field behind the run down trailer he had grown up in. After that, though...afterwards, a man had taken him under his wing, or at least to his bed. While the man had hardly been appropriate, being over forty years old and married, he had provided Robbie with his first (admittedly meager) allowance, and a bit of the affection he had stopped seeking at home and had started seeking in bed. <br><br>He shut his eyes, letting his head drop back as he braced his hands on Darrien's chest, pressing down just a bit more firmly with his groin, not stimulating so much as just feeling. <br><br>He let a faint smile curve up over his full lips. <br><br>"Thinking about the past?"<br><br>Robbie's voice broke the fifteen minutes of quiet, thoughtful silence, leaning down so that he was laying his body along the length of Darrien's. He was exhausted. Up close, the circles under his eyes were more clear, the bruise looking even worse as his hair created even more shadows along his jawline. <br><br>He seemed too tired, too young for this place, and he glanced momentarily at the window.<br><br>He wanted to leave more than anything.<br><br>He pressed slow, soft kisses to Darrien's shoulder, jaw aching as he did so. He had a sinking suspicion that his jaw had been fractured - the bruise was a good two months old and only now fading - and it still hurt to open his mouth too wide, or to move it at certain angles.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>30-07-2009, 19:34:08</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				A nod was the most he could manage in response. He didn’t trust himself to speak. He had already said too much and the memories of 14 years ago lay heavily on his mind. It was almost uncanny how much Robbie reminded him of Chris and then when he stretched out and placed himself over Darrien’s body, that last encounter came back to him fully.<br><br>Initially oblivious to the present, halfway between sleep and wakefulness he breathed the scent of the younger man. His fingers played lightly on the exposed skin, moving towards Robbie’s buttocks and gently massaging them. Then that too was left behind as his right hand snaked itself under the tight top and stroked the soft, smooth skin underneath. The difference behind their bodies was remarkable. The comparison between his toned and, as he saw it, scarred body, next to the pale, slim almost fragile limbs of the youth on top of him. <br><br>The weight of his young body felt light on his heavier torso, but he could feel the heat from between his legs. <br><br>He responded in kind, lifting his hips slightly in response to increase the pressure. That was how it had all started with Chris, but sadly he knew that Chris was long gone.<br><br>Opening his eyes slowly the memories fled as he saw the bruise again and the matching dark circles. Maybe they were more alike than he thought.<br><br>He continued his touching of the other man, and then ignoring his earlier promise to himself, half-whispered into the young man’s ear, “Robbie, who did that to you?”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>30-07-2009, 20:43:08</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie's head tipped forwards as he spread his legs a bit farther, smiling when he felt his backside touched and carressed by the hands. A tiny moan escaped when he felt the same hand creep up under his shirt, the tight tank top lifting up and then staying up enough to show his stomach. It was tight, and he was maybe a bit too thin, but his boss figured it better to have him too thin than too fat. Gaining weight was easier than losing it. The drugs helped keep him slim no matter what he ate, as well.<br><br>His hips pressed to meet the lifting, pressing himself down against the member below him, enjoying the simple pressure. This wasn't the groping, pawing, tugging that he normally got from older men. He could actually learn to enjoy slow touches like this. His hands grazed over the other man's skin slowly, enjoying him.<br><br>His hand drifted to his jawline, though, when Darrien asked who had given him the bruise.<br><br>"I thought that it had gone done a bit by now..." he sighed, "My boss." <br><br>Robbie looked back out the window, "Well, my boss' boss. The guy who owns the bar is named Sable, but he usually doesn't knock me around too much. His boss is Vinnie. He came in and searched the place and saw that I had money stashed under the mattress. Said that I was going to run away and took it all, then..." <br><br>He shrugged again. <br><br>"He was right," Robbie said with a small smile, "I was going to run. But it took me a month before I could even open my jaw again, so I'm swimming in debt to the boss, now. Couldn't earn much without my mouth to work." His shoulders raised in a Gallic shrug, "Now, I'm just trying to work the debt off before I get traded somewhere less pleasant." <br><br>He smiled faintly, but there was an edge of bitterness to it that no boy his age should have had, "But you probably don't want to know all that. Hardly sets the mood, eh?"
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>31-07-2009, 17:33:21</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“If I didn’t want to know, I wouldn’t have asked,” came the simple reply, knowing that he nearly hadn’t.<br><br>Darrien didn’t think of himself as a naturally caring person, but there were certain things that he wouldn’t tolerate. He wasn’t naïve enough to think this was unusual in Robbie’s line of business, but there was something about the young man that had uncovered a deeply hidden protective streak. Maybe it was the physical resemblance to Chris, but whatever it was, this new found feeling made him feel slightly uncomfortable. He didn’t really know how to deal with it.<br><br>He reluctantly broke the physical contact between them and shifted on his side, maneuvering Robbie so that they were facing each other. Robbie was right, the moment was gone.<br><br>“I’m not sure I was entirely in the mood to begin with, so don’t worry,” he added with a smile so Robbie didn’t feel too bad about it. “If it’s any consolation, I’m more relaxed than I was before I got here and…,” he trailed off before he said too much more. Further conversation would have revealed the blazing row that he had had with a bimbo in the taxi from the airport, who had thought she was much more than a one night stand.<br><br>She had screamed down his mobile that maybe if he wasn’t interested in her, he probably preferred shagging men. He had hung up immediately afterwards.<br><br>If only she knew.<br><br>“Anyway,” he said almost to himself, “it doesn’t matter.” She represented a pattern in his so-called relationships. No commitment, no intimacy and certainly no attachment. They were his socially acceptable face to be taken to official parties so that there would no questions and no whispering gossips behind his back.<br><br>He traced the bruise with a blunt fingernail in imitation of the younger man’s earlier action.<br><br>“Does that hurt?” he asked frowning with genuine concern.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>31-07-2009, 19:39:47</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie smiled faintly as he was turned and flopped to the side, laying so close so that his nose was nearly bumping against the other man's, running a hand down his side with a little smile. He let his hand investigate the bare skin in front of him and smiled faintly. <br><br>"I feel like I should be trying to get you in the mood instead of just talking..." but his smile was warm and intimate and he touched the other man's hip through the towel with a shy smile. <br><br>"No," he said, "Your fingers don't hurt at least." <br><br>He shrugged slightly.<br><br>"It aches, but it's not your touching that makes it hurt. I don't think it healed right, or something. I dunno." Every once in a while, a very faint hint of a Southern accent would creep in to lace his voice with a tone of honey that was gone almost as quickly as it came. <br><br>He opened his mouth and wiggled his jaw a little bit. <br><br>There were a few pops and he frowned a bit, wincing, as it obviously hurt to move it. He shut his mouth again and slowly stretched his body from head to toe and then pressed up close against Darrien, enjoying the heat that he had to offer. "You're a lot nicer than most of my clients," he whispered, and the smile that came to his face showed how grateful he was, how much he enjoyed these simple moments of intimacy more than anything else his clients ever did with him.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>01-08-2009, 17:48:51</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				He didn’t mind the talking and he was being honest with himself, looking for sex tonight had probably been a bad idea anyway. He had been too angry and tired to think clearly and now he kept thinking about Robbie’s vindictive boss.<br><br>The bruise still bothered him. Darrien had once had a dislocated jaw and remembered the discomfort and the pain. He tipped Robbie’s chin up gently with one finger so he could get a better look at the injury.<br><br>“I think it’s dislocated, not broken and I know it’s easier said than done, but you should really get that looked at.” He suspected getting out of the brothel was going to be difficult but couldn’t think of an obvious solution unless he helped. As soon as the thought crossed his mind he berated himself for being too soft. Just a couple of hours of relaxing with an attractive younger man had clearly turned his brain to mush.<br><br>“You think I’m a lot nicer because you don’t know me.” There was no point in giving him false hopes and he looked away from Robbie as he said that, but he kept his body close and his arms still loosely draped over the narrow hips. <br><br>Nevertheless, he was convinced it was true. Most of the people who he interviewed probably hated him by the time his articles were published. He wasn’t known as the Rottweiler for nothing and whilst there might be grudging respect from his colleagues, he couldn’t genuinely remember the last time someone had told him he was “nice”. He was tempted to mention that most of the young man’s clients were probably class one shits, but he refrained.<br><br>“I’m not a good person Robbie. I lie and I don’t care about the consequences. My relationships are usually one sided, my parents think I am the biggest disappointment in their lives and my colleagues only grudgingly accept me because I’m good.”<br><br>There he’d said it. At least for once he couldn’t be accused of not being honest.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>02-08-2009, 07:08:35</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie smiled faintly and shrugged, "Not gonna happen. We don't leave. If we die, we get buried, but we don't leave to go to the doctor." He blinked slowly and let his arms drape loosely about the other man's body. He snuggled a bit closer when told that he thought Darrien was nice because he didn't know him. He listened to him - he said he was a bad person, his relationships were one sided, and his parents thought he was a disappointment - and then laughed softly as he kissed the other man's cheek. <br><br>It was a friendly gesture, some glossy black hair falling in front of his face, cheeks pleasantly flushed. "You're comparing yourself to normal people. Compared to most of my clients, you're an angel." He raised his hand and let his fingertips run along the other man's cheek gently. <br><br>"No one likes me, either." <br><br>Robbie shrugged and looked up at the ceiling, tracing the cracks in the plaster with his eyes, sighing softly. "The boys won't talk to me since I'm either a bunch younger than them or I sell better. I'm pretty new here, too...and I'm a street boy. Sable found me hooking on the corner down there and the other boy's think I'm not worth working in this shithole. My clients don't even look at me, unless it's to insult me. One guy," he shrugged, shut his eyes, swallowed, then shook his head. "Anyways, you don't wanna know the specifics of who I fuck. But I'm hardly a good person, either. Fuck, I'm seventeen and a drug addict and a whore. I practically failed outta school when I did go, so it's not like I'm some saint." <br><br>He curled up within Darrien's arms and pressed his forehead to the other man's shoulder, smiling, breathing in his scent. "No. <em>You</em> may not think that you're nice, but I think you are. At least, in my world. Here, you can be nice. When you go back to work, you can go back to being mean." <br><br>His smile spread wide and he grinned, kissing a slow line down Darrien's shoulder.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>02-08-2009, 20:55:12</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“Thanks.”<br><br>There wasn’t much more to say. That one word was loaded with infinite meanings and a lot of gratitude. He knew Robbie was paid to be pleasant to him and tell him what he wanted to hear but he felt for once that the man next to him actually meant what he said.<br><br>Stroking Robbie’s silky dark hair Darrien realised how much he was enjoying the simple pleasure of lying close to Robbie, feeling his skin next to his and luxuriating in the sensation of the gentle kisses that worked their way down his shoulder.<br><br>“I think the other boys are jealous of you because you’re smarter and more attractive.” <br><br>It was true but Darrien was realising he was on increasingly dangerous ground. The more he found out about the place, the more he agreed with Robbie’s analysis and description of the “shithole”. The small, less jaded part of him wanted to offer to help but he was wary of hard luck stories and worried about what the implications would be for him.<br><br>He sighed. He couldn’t tackle that now.<br><br>There was also the issue of the “one guy” that Robbie mentioned. He didn’t want to ask but the journalist in him was raising his inquisitive head.<br><br>“You can tell me about the guy, if you want to, but don’t feel pressurised,” he lowered his head and experimentally grazed his lips against the shoulder next to him, to give Robbie something else to think about if he didn’t want to answer.<br><br>“And…,” his voice slightly muffled as he gently nibbled down the shoulder along the exposed upper arm, “…in my opinion saints are very much overrated and martyrdom is even worse.” Darrien hesitated, wondering how much he was going to reveal, “…and…just to make you feel perhaps a little better, I nearly got thrown out of school for what the monks called an ‘unnatural relationship’, hence my hatred of religion and rather dysfunctional relationship with my parents.” He stopped his explorations at this point and just contented himself with holding Robbie and running his fingers through his hair to calm himself before revealing the final coup-de-grace, “You know, they think I’m an aberration and should be treated.”<br><br>He knew his problems paled in comparison but there was a lot of bitterness in his final words.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>02-08-2009, 21:52:48</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie smiled faintly, "The other boys at least finished high school..." he added with a soft laugh, shrugging when told that he was more attractive. That was true, at least. He was young, though, and fully aware that with the drugs his looks would fade away into nothing and after that he would be lucky to have two years staying alive. He snuggled so close to Darrien that they were molded together as he listened to him.<br><br>He smiled when Darrien's lips grazed against his shoulder, tilting his head back a bit, smiling to show that he certainly enjoyed it. <br><br>"Your family are assholes," he said with a smile, kissing him gently.<br><br>"You can't change what you are. Shit, I&nbsp; knew I was gay when I was little. It's not unnatural...but I can see why you didn't like religion 'cause of it. I never told my pastor what I was...church was the only place I was safe, really." <br><br>He wouldn't talk about his home, other than church. <br><br>"You deserved better parents than that, though. Can't really complain. You wouldn't be here if it weren't for them," he said with a shy smile, curling in close against the other man. <br><br>"The man..." he trailed off, "He's a typical client, I mean, not that unusual as they go. I got a bunch of clients that like stuff like bondage and shit, but this one guy...he likes me to pretend I'm his wife. Makes me wear panties, and curl my hair, and shit...it just bothers me. I dunno. He likes to call me names and hit me and shit...it's not that weird compared to what other clients like but it's just..." he sighed softly, "I don't get why he would marry his wife if he hated her so much, and I don't like the way he treats me. Scares me." <br><br>He curled up close against Darrien, "'Cept I shouldn't tell you all this." <br><br>"I still can't believe your parents would want you 'fixed'. I think you're pretty good as you are. Hell of a lot more normal than most people I meet," he said with a grin, reaching up to press a shy kiss to Darrien's lips, no tongue, just a soft and sweet press of lips against him.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>03-08-2009, 16:53:48</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				The man that Robbie described horrified him but he didn’t attempt to comfort the young man with empty words and just continued to hold him. <br><br>He had never told anyone of his parents’ views, the fact that they had practically disowned him and so over a decade of silence had slowly eaten away at him. He wasn’t accepted by family and at work he was seen as modern day playboy. Intimacy had no place in his life and he certainly never got close to any of the prostitutes he had sex with. Then that soft tentative touch of the lips undid him.<br><br>At first he froze it was so unexpected. He felt awkward and unprepared, but it felt almost like absolution and all his good intentions melted away as he deepened the kiss.<br><br>Lips pressed together harder and he pressed his body against Robbie’s, rubbing himself gradually against the uneven texture of the ripped jeans. Darrien’s arm moved down into the gashes of the fabric, exploring the young man’s semi-naked flesh. <br><br>The other hand brushed away Robbie’s hair from his face and then gently tilted up his chin, careful not to touch the jaw. Slowly Darrien’s lips parted and he softly nudged the other man’s mouth open using his tongue <br><br>He hadn’t felt this type of intensity or desire for a man in years. The others had just been a means to forget his subterfuge of hiding behind one night stands with endless women.<br><br>Finally and reluctantly he broke contact. <br><br>“Do you want this?” his voice was gravelly with desire.<br><br>The question was insistent.<br><br>“If not, just say and I’ll stop. I promise…no pressure.”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>03-08-2009, 17:59:23</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie pressed against Darrien, moaning softly as the other man's lips parted his own and Darrien's hand dove between the rips in his jeans to touch his soft skin. His moan parted his lips enough to invite Darrien in, running a hand along Darrien's side, letting the kiss become hungrier, deeper. His slim body pressed close against the other man's, and he thought of how kind he had been, and how much money he had been promised. How he had actually been able to have dinner with his client instead of just sex. <br><br>"Yes," he whispered, pressing himself close enough to steal another kiss. <br><br>"Yes, I want this." <br><br>He moved until his groin was pressed close against the other man, letting Darrien feel his length through the skin-tight jeans, his skin so very pale under the torn swathes. His kisses became even deeper with Darrien, running his hand along the man's side until it encountered the crimson towel.<br><br>He began slipping it down, letting his fingertips trace the curve of the man's hip, pulling back to let a soft moan escape his lips. Maybe it would end up getting him damned, but he loved the feel of a man's skin under his fingertips, of a strong body over his own. t<br><br>Darrien was easily one of his most attractive clients, and certainly the least crazy.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>04-08-2009, 18:49:46</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Darrien had forgotten the simple pleasure of kissing and touching somebody he was physically attracted to, therefore the whispered confirmation, when it came, was all he needed to let go. The crimson towel became his first victim as it was tossed impatiently on to the floor in a crumpled heap, exposing him and the sinuous tattoo on his hip that wound its way to his groin to Robbie for closer inspection. He was already getting hard and his cut length craved the young man’s touch.<br><br>The jeans were next and he fumbled momentarily with the zip, a factor of the material being practically molded to the lean legs intertwined with his. Finally undone, he admired the pale length of the young man next to him. Then locating a bottle of moisturizer that he had spotted earlier, he squeezed a generous amount on to his hands and ignoring his own need started massaging Robbie’s member. He wanted the slim, pale dark haired youth to remember this encounter as something different.<br><br>He started at the tip and then started to roll his hand down, enjoying every second of contact as he worked to the shaft and then moving on to cupping the sac below, drizzling the oil down the path of his hand as he massaged and rubbed the growing erection. There was something sensuous and erotic in Darrien’s features formed into a slight frown as he concentrated on his massage. For once, he wasn’t thinking about the repercussion of what he was doing tonight just on the immediate pleasure of the act.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>05-08-2009, 16:38:02</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie's eyes drifted down to the bare skin that had been previously hidden by the towel, tracing the lines of the tattoo first with his eyes and then with his fingertips. He moaned softly as his jeans were pulled away, the tight and torn fabric landing in a heap next to the bed with his shirt, leaving him entirely naked. <br><br>He hadn't been wearing any underwear under the jeans. <br><br>He gasped when he felt the moisturizer start being used on his body. He could hardly bear the pleasure of the other man's hand actually massaging at him, stroking up and down. His body arched and writhed.<br><br>He moved on top of the sheets like a whore, hips tilting side to side, thrusting up into the hand that was clutching at him. He cried out, eyes shutting tightly, fingers clutching at the sheets. His dark hair stuck to his pale cheeks, and he cried out just for the older man. No one ever took the time to pleasure him like this. He appreciated it more than he could actually find words to describe.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>05-08-2009, 19:28:34</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Languorous touches on his inked skin followed the sinuous lines of a serpent-dragon made up of Cyrillic lettering that looked like the illuminated first letter of a medieval manuscript. He stretched and quietly moaned in pleasure, feeding off the wanton eroticism of the young man beside him. It was a truly beautiful site. He enjoyed looking at the naked body, the contrast of the crimson on the pale alabaster skin and the way unruly silky strands of dark hair were splayed on the red background under them.<br><br>Taking more time he brought his head forward next to Robbie’s chest. He sucked and gently feasted on dusky pink nipples and then looked up, watching the reaction he caused in the green eyes that seemed to flash with emotion. Darrien would have usually rolled the youth over at this stage and taken him roughly from behind, like he had done with countless others, but he wanted this time to be different. He wasn’t entirely sure whether it was from attraction or guilt, but he did know that he enjoyed watching Robbie’s every reaction as they lay next to each other on the bed.<br><br>He was now painfully hard and his tip was glistening with fluid so at last he cursorily oiled himself and positioned his own body close so that he began to enjoy the friction between his hard length and Robbie’s smooth skin. This for once was less about domination, but mutual enjoyment and for Darrien, sexual release.<br><br>Rubbing and squirming against each other, he finally came. The contrast between them was marked and for a brief moment he envied how relatively comfortable the younger man was with his sexuality. His own orgasm was a more controlled affair, with no cries or moans just a sigh and a very small drop of blood where he had bitten his lip at the final moment<br><br>He needed to go, but he convinced himself to allow the moment to stretch for a little longer.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>06-08-2009, 00:09:26</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				The tattoo was beautiful in the darkness of the room, and Robbie's fingers only lost contact with it when he grabbed at the sheets so that his grip wouldn't bruise the other man. He was so close with those strong fingers working over his oiled length, writhing and arching back and forth, letting his hips thrust into the grip but yet move at the right angle to press and rub and stimulate the hard cock against his hip. <br><br>He wanted Darrien to enjoy this as much as he was. He had never had a client be so - caring. Maybe it was a bit sick that this was what he considered caring but it didn't really matter to him. <br><br>What mattered was the orgasm that overtook him as he threw his head back.<br><br>A low and sweet moan escaped his musical throat, the sound something akin to singing and making it clear that he hadn't been lying about being in a choir when he was little. <br><br>He panted, laying next to Darrien on the seed-stained sheets. He then reached out. <br><br>He held on tightly to the other man and lay his head on Darrien's shoulder while letting his fingers stroke that tattoo over and over with slim fingertips touching the patterns and whorls of ink. "Where did you get this? Why?" Robbie was curious. He wanted to know more about the other man.<br><br>For once in his life he wasn't thinking about money.<br><br>He was merely enjoying the physical contact that being with someone you're attracted to can bring. It was rare, around these parts. "Thanks," he whispered breathlessly, smiling, kissing him again. It was slow and gentle and he pulled back with a genuine sort of softness in those jaded green eyes.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>06-08-2009, 21:13:16</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				His fingers stroked Robbie’s hair in return for the thanks, but he said nothing as he replayed the past few minutes over in his mind and simply enjoyed the close physical contact with Robbie as he held on to him. It was yet another first. He never usually did the post-coital lying around. He paid and was out of the door<br><br>The silence stretched as he watched the droplets of rain racing each other down the grubby pane of glass, their trails higlighted by the garish flashing neon sign.<br><br>He thought about his answer and not for the first time that night, he thought about Chris.<br><br>“Someone I used to know once told me, ‘We're our own dragons as well as our own heroes, and we have to rescue ourselves from ourselves’.” <br><br>He didn’t look across as he started his explanation.&nbsp; He wanted to hide his facial expressions in the shadows of the room. It would be easier for him that way.<br><br>“I’m half Russian,” he continued and then a pause as he clarified further, “...my charming father is Russian.”<br><br>The way the word “father” was accentuated made his feelings extremely clear.<br><br>“Historically, dragons were always feared in Russia. They see them as ugly, evil creatures that need to be destroyed. Centuries ago they were seen as the ‘enemy’ of Christianity. They thought dragons represented the devil.” <br><br>He paused briefly before he continued speaking softly into the gloom, wondering if Robbie was beginning to think he was mad.<br><br>“I joined the armed forces to pay for university. I knew I wasn’t going to get any help from my parents, since I’d already left home by then. When I graduated and was actually mobilized, my particular unit all decided to get tattoos. They all saw it as a sign of their machismo, I think."<br><br>He grimaced and continued to resolutely stare at the ceiling, the physical presence of the younger man giving him the anchor he needed to continue.<br><br>"The more pain a design caused, the better. I already had a black mark by name because I’d been caught taking drugs by the Staff Sergeant at college a couple of years before, and although I was clean by then, I knew I had to prove myself now that I was one of their commanding officers. I had to be ‘one of the boys’.”<br><br>He realised he sounded disjointed and awkward, but he very rarely, if ever, spoke about himself.<br><br>The tone of voice changed as he remembered back to nine years ago. He recalled the shadowy interior of the tattoo parlour, the acrid smell of sweat and the musky stale air.<br><br>“I chose one of the most painful locations I could and told the man to do it all in one go. I already knew what I wanted and I remember when I showed him the design, he raised his eyebrows and thought I couldn’t handle it."<br><br>The memory of the pain was still fresh in his mind as he still felt the seemingly endless jabs plunging into sensitive skin and touching nerves. <br><br>"Stupidly, I stuck it out and in return won the respect of my unit ... nobody quite got it though. They couldn’t read what had been inked on to my skin and I never told them. There was too much explanation and I thought I’d maintain the air of mystery. So I have the quote inked across my hip in Cyrillic in the shape of a serpent-dragon.”<br><br>It had seemed appropriate then, the design showing the hatred of his father and what that represented as well as the memory of his first lover all rolled into inky swirls permanently inscribed on his skin.<br><br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>07-08-2009, 22:54:12</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie listened, and learned. He listened to the older man tell him about dragons and their history, and the history of the tattoo that snaked over his hip and ended right next to his groin. He now understood the lettering and how much it meant to the older man. He reached out and pressed a content kiss to his shoulder, a soothing gesture to show Darrien that he was still listening, even though he said nothing in return to the words at first. He just listened to him describing getting the tattoo. <br><br>He himself had always wanted a tattoo but not only would his boss not allow it, he had never found something important enough that he wanted to ink permanently onto his skin. Maybe honeybees. He missed the honeybees outside his house. That wouldn't really do for a tattoo, though, he mused. <br><br>"How come you still care what your parents think?"<br><br>His voice was soft, caring, concerned. "If your parents didn't accept you then...why do you try to bend yourself to fit what they want, still? One of the reasons I ran away was 'cause I didn't get on with my mom. I mean, I'm not a good example, but...I'm sure you could get on without them." <br><br>He wrapped himself around the other man's body. <br><br>"I like you." <br><br>The words were soft, almost inaudible as he pressed himself against the other man's body, leaning forwards so that his head was buried in Darrien's shoulder. His dark hair hid most of his face, completely hiding the bruise. <br><br>With his face hidden in the soft crook of Darrien's neck, his soft body stretched out, snuggling up against him. <br><br>He didn't want Darrien to leave. He knew he would, and he hoped he would come back, but he knew that he would leave. Hopefully, at least, he would pay well. He hoped the man would give enough money that he could shave a bit off the top to save it. Unlike the other boys who kept ten percent of whatever they made, Sable, Robbie's boss, took every last penny from Robbie.<br><br>In return he showered him with gifts but he thought that if he left Robbie cash, he would run. Of course he was right but Robbie was still bitter about it.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>08-08-2009, 17:54:55</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				The words of advice and consolation from Robbie were appreciated but as far as he was concerned there wasn’t much point in answering. He’d talked enough tonight and some things were still too private to share, even with a stranger he may never meet again.<br><br>He continued to enjoy Robbie’s naked body next to his and on hearing the mumbled affectionate phrase from the youngster, he planted a gentle kiss on the tousled hair and brought a protective arm around his shoulders. <br><br>They lay together like this for another few minutes amongst the rumpled and now slightly damp soiled sheets before Darrien stretched out his free arm to the chair that housed his belongings to check the time.<br><br>The thin stainless steel hands pointed just past midnight. He had been there just over three hours.<br><br>“As much as I’m enjoying this, I have a 7am meeting tomorrow,” there was definite regret in his voice, “…and it will take me and hour to get back to the flat.”<br><br>Counting backwards from the breakfast interview he had in the morning with the visiting South African president, he realised he’d have four to five hours sleep if he was lucky and the insomnia didn’t strike. So he untangled his long limbs from Robbie’s and walked towards the small bathroom, coming back with a damp flannel that he first used to meticulously clean the young man and then himself.<br><br>Whilst the movements were efficient and even practiced there was still a hesitance in his manner, as if he didn’t know whether the act was supposed to be intimate or merely practical. Then with a further practiced air he reached for his wallet. He had counted the money out beforehand, learning from a previous experience that it wasn’t a good idea to fumble with cash in a brothel, no matter how safe the place seemed.<br><br>“This is five hours worth plus half again as tip.” Then he looked down sounding awkward and possibly a little guilty, “I hope this at least slightly helps the money situation.” He handed over the slightly grubby banknotes, not noticing that there was a small white card wedged between them.<br><br>A small voice told him that he was a prize idiot for being taken in by the story, but he didn’t care. He wanted to feel that, for once, he was doing something good.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>10-08-2009, 20:33:16</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie lay against the other man, smiling at the kiss to his hair and the protective arms around him, curling up within his arms. He didn't want Darrien to leave. Or Justin. He sighed when he heard that the other man had to get going so that he could make it to his meeting the next day. He sat up, naked, while the other man went and got a clean flannel to wipe both of them off with. He smiled as he was cleaned, seeing that hesitance, encouraging him with a sweet smile that was surprisingly open given where he worked, and that slight glow touching his cheeks. <br><br>He took the money, thumbing the corners to make sure he'd been paid enough, then placed it on the night stand. He looked up at Darrien, tucking his knees up to his chin with his arms wrapped around them, smiling faintly. "Thanks. I appreciate the tip. Maybe I'll get to see you again." <br><br>He waved as Darrien left and then snatched the money up, spreading the bills out, counting it properly.<br><br>There was a small fortune. He looked at all the grubby banknotes and then the card, seeing the name. "Darrien." Robbie whispered the name to himself and held the card close. It was like a lifeline. If something bad happened, he would call the number, even though Darrien probably didn't want him to. <br><br>For the first time in a long time, he felt hot tears spill up and over his cheeks.<br><br>Darrien probably didn't want him to call.<br><br>He was...at the end of the day...a prostitute. The sort of boy that Darrien went to to tell his secrets and to fuck but not to take home. He bit his bottom lip, laughing softly to himself, bitterly. How could he have become so undesirable at such a young age?<br><br>He didn't have the time for this. He dried his eyes, hid the card, and smoothed the sheets. His next customer would be here in an hour.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>11-08-2009, 19:46:40</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Again, oblivion hadn’t come.<br><br>Three hours of sleep and he was staring at the ceiling above his bed once more. At least it was still dark outside.<br><br>Wearily, he got up and grabbed the black dressing gown from the back of the chair, where he had left it earlier in the evening. Blinking and bleary-eyed, he walked into his living area and collided with one of the many cardboard boxes stacked in the large double-height space, bringing the column down with a thump in an untidy heap.<br><br>“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” <br><br>Still cursing he bent over to tidy the heap of objects that had spilled out. <br><br>Despite his move, now nearly six months ago, Darrien had still not got round to unpacking his belongings due to a mix of just not being in the apartment very often and a knowledge that he never spent very long in one place. The apartment was typical in its way, a large three bedroom, high-end warehouse conversion on the top floor of an old factory building with bare brick walls, original timber flooring and large windows and an open plan, barely used designer kitchen. However, what made this one different was the large black Steinway that stood proudly in the only uncluttered corner of the space, the roof garden with three neglected plants and the feel that its owner had only moved in a week ago.<br><br>Darrien sighed again as he picked up the detritus on the floor, solely aided by the street lights. He was about to leave everything exactly where they had fallen until he came across a photograph. He looked at it again. It was definitely him and Chris, aged 16 and 17, smiling, still at school and as yet unaware of what was about to happen.<br><br>He sat heavily on the floor as he stared at the image. Two months afterwards, they had been caught together. Darrien had acted like a complete coward and Chris had been expelled in shame. He had committed suicide a week after. <br><br>Minutes passed and he continued to stare at the photograph as if transfixed and then the first thought that came to him was how much Robbie looked like Chris. This was precisely why he had no intention of seeing him again. It was bad enough that he had spoken of things that should have never been said, but he would make him relive the guilt over and over again.<br><br>Decision made, he saw the first rays of light try to penetrate the gloom of the flat. It was 5am. He grabbed his running shoes to fit in an hours’ worth of mindless running before the interview. He didn’t want to think of anything except for the day ahead.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>12-08-2009, 05:46:13</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				It had been a typical week as far as business went. Robbie had came, went, done his clients as was proper and then given them a proper send off. He grew increasingly more disgusted with himself after having had sex with Darrien, mostly because he hadn't enjoyed sex since then. He felt dirtier and dirtier and no amount of scrubbing would get him clean, at least in his own eyes. The drug use increased exponentially and he skimmed a bit from his boss, Sable. At first, he didn't think he'd be caught, but he realized his error fairly quickly. He was dragged bodily into Sable's back office by Tony, who manned the front desk, and was little more than a wall of muscle.<br><br>"You've been skimming drugs. The fuck're you tryin' to do, Robbie?" Sable leant over the desk and looked at the boy who had been forced down on his knees before the desk. <br><br>"I...Sable, I..."<br><br>"You're sorry? You know if you say you're sorry I'll forgive you, baby. Are you sorry?"<br><br>Perks of being the boss' favorite.<br><br>He shook his head.<br><br>"You're not sorry?" Sable sighed, "Don't make me make you be sorry, Robbie." <br><br>Robbie opened his mouth, slowly, "I'm...I want to leave, Sable. I know you were really nice to take me off the street, but...I just, I gotta leave. I can't do this anymore..." his Southern accent was leaking back into his voice, making it sweeter, heavier. <br><br>"You know I can't let you go, Robbie. You're underage. If any cops found out what you do here, I'd go away for a long time, and I can't do that." <br><br>"Sable, please! I won't tell nobody, I just...shit, I gotta get outta here, please, Sable..." <br><br>"Nope. Sorry, kiddo. You're stuck here. Tony, teach him a lesson. I'll check in on him in a few days." <br><br>That was one of the last things Robbie could remember hearing. All he felt was a huge knock to the back of his head. Tony was kind. He would beat the boy, but he'd have him unconscious while he did it. Tony scooped up the little body and pressed a cellphone into his hands, carrying him to the back alley. "If you can run, run, kid." He doubted Robbie heard him. <br><br>Robbie didn't move.<br><br>Sable wouldn't come to check on him in a while, and after a few hours, Robbie could stir. That was when he realized what a bad state he was in. Nonetheless, he managed to make it to the street and hail a cab, using the last of the tips his clients had stuffed in his underwear to pay for the blood smears he left after being asked to get dropped off in St. Claire, a fairly respectable neighborhood.<br><br>He curled up in the first alley he could find. It was raining, and almost freezing, but he smiled.<br><br>It washed the blood away, at least a little bit.<br><br>He sighed softly. <br><br>He took the time to try and wake himself a bit. He still was in a bloody fog, but managed to open his eyes enough to look down. He couldn't even remember how he had gotten here. Oh. He had taken a cab. He looked down at his legs and realized that, certainly, at least his ankle was broken if not the entire bone in his calf. It was certainly bent funny, though. His front and chin were stained with bloody foam - he could taste it coming from his mouth, and a run of a badly twisted hand down his side told him he had at least one broken rib if the shape of his rib cage was any indication. Maybe a punctured lung. He had heard about them, and it would have at least explained the bloody foam that he just couldn't stop coughing up. He coughed, and coughed, and coughed, and then turned to the side to vomit blood and alcohol but no food. <br><br>Who could he call? He still had some bills stuffed in the edge of his pants where he kept them, but his white t-shirt was ruined. His vision was dangerously blurred, probably from the huge lump and possible fracture from where Tony had slammed the back of his skull into the desk. <br><br>A grubby little card came out when he fumbled for the money.<br><br>Darrien.<br><br>Darrien was his real name, and he had the number. He dialed it, slowly, smearing the phone with blood. Was it blood? He could barely tell anymore. His heaving coughs interrupted his greeting the person on the other end of the line - it was two am - and there was a heavy, wet sound as he spat something thick up.<br><br>"Justin...Darrien...it's Robbie, I..." the coughing started again, and then there was only a few wheezing breaths for a few minutes, "I'm...I'm in St. Claire, at...at Somerset and Seventh, I think...in the little side alley, I..." another thick cough and then silence as he briefly lapsed out of consciousness, coming back in after about one minute. "Come get me. Please." <br><br>Either he would come or he wouldn't. No use in holding the phone. It was just so very heavy in an arm that was going steadily more numb.<br><br>His shoulder was dislocated.<br><br>He was a bloody, bruised mess, one eye fully swollen shut, blood bubbling up over his lips, ankle broken and at least one rib broken, sprained in quite a few other places.
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>14-08-2009, 15:08:00</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				The week had flown by. The shit state of the economy ensured an endless stream of summits, talks and interviews between the President and various world leaders and politicians, either in New York or DC. The past few days had definitely been no exception. Each 24 hours were filled with interviews, lunches, press conferences, off-the record drinks and formal dinners and his few precious free hours were spent hunched over a laptop, typing up the latest copy for the online blog or copy for the next day’s edition. In his job for the International Herald Tribune and the New York Times, there were few who wouldn’t spare they time to speak to him. He was in his element and his confidence showed. <br><br>Finally at 6pm on Friday, he managed to drag himself back to their offices. One more story to file and he was done for the week.<br><br>He allowed himself a small smile as he stretched back in his chair.<br><br>“I don’t know what you’re smirking at Calder.”<br><br>It was Mike Whittington, the grey haired, chain-smoking and wiry Editor-in-Chief. <br><br>“Oh...I don’t know...probably something to do with the fact that I got you six exclusives this week.” The response was smug.<br><br>“I’m not talking about your journalistic abilities kid. It’s your private life.”<br><br>Mike paused and Darrien felt a chill down his spine. He slowly swivelled his chair round but tried to keep a nonchalant expression. What the hell did he know?<br><br>“What about it?” he asked casually.<br><br>“it’s Abi, my arts correspondent.” The expression was unreadable.<br><br>He relaxed. It was just the bitch that he dumped last week before his session with Robbie.<br><br>“I don’t see the problem.” Darrien continued.<br><br>“Oh come on...you fucked her and you dumped her. That I don’t give a flyin’ monkey’s about, but the bint has just handed in her resignation because of you!”<br><br>Darrien remained diplomatically silent.<br><br>“Look, I don’t care who you shag, but when you bring your private life into the office, make sure you at least pick someone who can’t write.”<br><br>“I promise.” The response was sincere.<br><br>Nodding and his rant over, Mike turned to leave and Darrien slumped at his desk in relief.<br><br>Four hours later, he entered the apartment, his body screaming with exhaustion. A cursory shower and a rapid change into some faded grey sweats later and he spread across the large king-size bed. He tried to concentrate on his dog-eared airport paperback, but a few moments later he passed out, fully dressed on the covers into a dreamless sleep.<br><br>Incessant ringing of his mobile brought him back. He cursed loudly. It was 2am.He didn’t recognise the number but answered it out of habit.<br><br>“Yes?” His voice was thick with sleep and angry.<br><br>It was the young man from the brothel, his voice sounding weak and disjointed, as if coming from the end of a tunnel. He told him where he was, sounding as if he was in pain. Then phone went dead.<br>However what really bothered him was that somehow, he knew his name. The shock had completely roused him. It was either a trap or somehow the kid had rifled through his wallet and found some ID, which he was sure he hadn’t left behind.<br><br>Darrien sat on the bed with his head in his hands and thought about his options, neither of which seemed palatable. If Robbie was in trouble and the police found him first there would be even more questions and an expose that he didn’t want to face. <br><br>He looked across to the photo on his bedside table and two young men smiled back at him. <br><br>He sighed.<br><br>Decision made he picked up his keys to his car and went to find the young prostitute.<br><br>It was sleeting by the time he finally found the body huddled in a side alley, his hand clutching Darrien’s business card. The whiteness of the card was speckled with red.<br><br>The youth was unconscious but breathing, the pale bruised face, framed by long dark hair, looking almost translucent in the cold, giving him the look of a broken, fallen angel, but there was no halo, instead he was surrounded by a pool of blood. <br><br>The military training made Darrien impervious to blood and the signs of violence, but he still felt anger towards the pimp he presumed had been involved in this. He couldn’t leave him there. He lifted the unconscious body, which felt surprisingly light and put it on a blanket on the back seat of the car. <br><br>He didn’t want to risk a normal trauma unit, they would ask too many questions that he didn’t want to answer. His own doctor, a paragon of discretion and the only man who knew nearly everything about Darrien was on the managing board of a local private hospital. The privacy would be worth the price.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>15-08-2009, 09:38:11</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Soaked and miserable, Robbie barely heard the agreement or felt himself being lifted when the man came to him, lifted free of the sticky pool of blood congealing behind his head and under his body. He lolled limply within the older man's arms, a bit too light for a boy his age. He shivered, just a bit, shutting his eyes a bit more tightly and then curling up on the blanket in the back seat, letting out a choked cough. It sprayed blood onto the blanket and one limp, blood-speckled hand fell off the edge of the seat to thud onto the car floor.<br><br>"D-Darrien..." <br><br>Choked and thick and heavy with a gag, the word was clearly a huge effort for the injured boy. "Thank you..." he groaned, letting his head roll back until it bumped the blanket-clad seat back. Blood was matted in his long and shiny hair. <br><br>He barely processed anything as the car began to move through the streets.<br><br>He was oddly aware of the sleet hitting the tinted windows, sight seeming to tunnel in on that, watching the droplets of water slap the window glass. <br><br>"Thank...thank...thanks..." <br><br>It took three tries but he got the word out and then fell back as though that slight effort had cost him so very much. Dear God. He could barely breathe past the blood filling up his mouth more and more rapidly as his lung suffered greatly from the broken rib.<br><br>Then they were at a hospital, private and clean and white, and after someone said something rather authoritatively about pain killers, he felt a mask press over his nose.<br><br>Panic set in.<br><br>Dear God. He was going to be killed. They were going to smother him right here and now.<br><br>Even injured, two nurses had to hold down the tiny frame as he bucked, and the doctor held the now blood-soaked oxygen mask to his face. He howled into it as they pressed a needle into his arm and slowly but surely the bucking and crying out stopped, body going limp, laying deathly still on the gurney as he was wheeled back into surgery to repair what was wrong.<br><br>He knew of nothing until he woke in a clean bed with an arm in a sling, a cast around an ankle, and bandages tightly wound about his chest. The back of his head had some bandages carefully wound around as well, and he had a cool compress against his swollen eye. It wasn't swollen shut now but was painful and black and blue. The skin was terribly tender. His jaw had been properly tended to as well. "Wha...?" he couldn't speak yet, as the painkillers were still heavy in his body, but he was clearly confused as to where he had been taken.<br><br>Clean and comfortable and safe, at worst he had expected to be brought to the police, at best left on a couch in some apartment buried within the junglish confines of the city.<br><br>This place was clean and bright and <em>safe</em>.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>19-08-2009, 15:42:06</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				Styrofoam cup, containing a sludge-like brown liquid, clutched in one hand, Darrien leant back in the uncomfortable waiting room chair. He hadn’t slept since being woken by Robbie earlier that morning and his mood matched his tiredness and his back was complaining after being hunched up on the seat for the past five hours. He glanced up at the clock on the wall, where red figures angrily glared the time. It was 8:03.<br><br>The early morning gloom was beginning to filter through large windows, illuminating the paintings on the walls of waiting room with a washed out grey light. The pictures were meant to imbue the room with a sense of cheerfulness, through the use of bold and vibrant colours and images of idyllic rural landscapes, but all they did was to create an atmosphere of forced jollity and one that spoke of hiding from the inevitable. He hated hospitals, even one that was as smart as this.<br><br>Fortunately, the staff there had reacted as if it was perfectly normal for two blood-stained men to walk into their smart hospital from the streets, but Dr Mark Walford, his own personal physician on the hospital board, had questioned him exhaustively on Robbie, until Darrien had been forced to own up to the true nature of their “relationship”.<br><br>“I hadn’t taken you as a type who took in waifs and strays, Darrien,” Mark had commented with a raised eyebrow and a wry tone to his voice.<br><br>“Neither did I,” he had replied wearily. “I could have hardly left him to die in the gutter to die though. Could I?” He had sounded defensive.<br><br>“Look, all I’m saying is that I hope you know what you’re doing. I suspect now that you’ve “saved” him, he’s going to see you as some kind of hero. He clearly has nowhere to go and despite your carefully groomed macho image, I know you’re not going to throw the kid back on the streets again. Are you?”<br><br>Darrien had just given him an angry glare until Mark had shrugged and left him to ponder the conversation. All he would have to do was just settle the bill and walk out of the hospital, but Mark was right, he couldn’t quite bring himself to do it.<br><br>He sighed and looked back up to the clock. 8:05.<br><br>He had been told that Robbie should be coming out of the cocktail of anaesthesia and pain killers soon, but he didn’t really know what to say. Bedside manner had never been a strong point but he knew he was putting of the inevitable.<br><br>Joints protesting he folded himself out of the chair and walked across the corridor into the young man’s room.<br><br>The first thing that struck him was how young and vulnerable he looked, hooked up to all the machines and swaddled in bandages. He watched the still form for a moment before he walked in and sat by the bed and then instinctively he gently brushed away a dark lock of hair away from the young man’s swollen eye.<br><br>What the hell had he gotten himself into?<br><br>He continued to brood until a soft sound emanated from the bed.<br><br>"Wha...?"<br><br>“You’re safe. Don’t strain yourself. Everything’s fine.” He responded more soothingly than he felt, but this wasn’t the time to hassle Robbie about how he had got his card.<br><br>He realised Robbie looked a little confused.<br><br>“I don’t know what happened to you, but you were in pretty bad shape. You’re going to be fine though.”<br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>20-08-2009, 06:50:03</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				There was a long moment of silence, a few long moments of silence, as he lay back against the crisp white bedding. His hair had been washed free of blood and dried, hanging long and thick about his face, a faint curl having taken place all over his hair, lending it a beautifully rich and lush edge that made him look a bit more exotic than he already did as he opened one icy green eye. The other was too swollen for him to comfortably open. <br><br>"You came."<br><br>Robbie sounded surprised that the man had actually shown up to save him.<br><br>He turned his head slightly and realized he had an oxygen mask over his face once again, taking in a slow breath that ached through his broken ribs, still groggy and surrounded by a medically-induced fog. He was just starting to realize that he was being taken care of in a safe place. <br><br>He smiled shyly from underneath the mask and looked even younger than he did originally.<br><br>His arms were slim and very white against the shu last name, no address or information or social security or anything to identify him listed.<br><br>"Thank you. I..." <br><br>He shut his eyes and realized that he had just turned Darrien's life upside down.<br><br>"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, I just had no one to call, and they took my money and did that and they were never going to let me go and oh, God, I just...I couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't let so many people touch me like that..." his eyes shut tightly to try and stop the sweet crystalline tears.<br><br>They fell anyway.<br><br>Dripping down and catching on the mask, they made rivulets on his face, gleaming in the light.<br><br>"I'll...I'll work to pay you back," he whispered, thickly. "I just...I just gotta find a place to stay, first. I gotta...I gotta call a client, or something, and then I gotta pay you back..." <br><br>He would have to become a kept boy, he supposed. It was better than going back to the brothel but certainly not a good future for someone his age. He should be in high school. He should be doing anything but working as a whore in some cheap back alley.<br><br>He was smart, certainly smart enough to start up in a school, but he doubted he would get the chance.<br><br>He was miserable for having put Darrien through this.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>20-08-2009, 17:00:59</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				“You will do no such thing,” Darrien snapped back rather more angrily than he intended.<br><br>He took a deep breath.<br><br>1…2…3…4…<br><br>“Look” he said, “I didn’t come and fetch you out of some back alley for you to go back to exactly what you were doing before. Are you insane?”<br><br>Another deep breath.<br><br>1…2…3…4…<br><br>He couldn’t quite believe what he was about to say. It was like being on a terrifying roller-coaster ride and not being able to get off <br><br>“I’m offering you a deal…if you promise me no drugs, no paid sex and no smoking in the flat, you can stay with me until you get back on your feet.”<br><br>He looked at Robbie’s tear stained eyes without flinching to show that he meant what he said. Darrien Calder, at the age of 30, had just officially become a young person’s homelessness unit. He knew it was guilt of course. There were no noble emotions involved, just plain guilt from having let Chris down all those many years ago and hoping that by doing this he could just erase the pain. Even a little would help and he could tell anyone who asked that Robbie was just a wayward cousin. Nobody would have to know about the moment of madness just over a week ago when he had lost control and maybe, if he told himself enough times that it was just an aberration, he might start believing it too and not mistake it for something else.<br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>21-08-2009, 01:55:29</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie's eyes were wide, and their color was so very pale and beautiful against the stark white of his face. They were almost white, the green was so pale, almost like the frozen water on the swampy lakes where he had grown up. God, he missed home. Sitting here, he realized how lucky he had been to find someone like Darrien and how stupid he had been to have run away from home in the first place. <br><br>"Thank you," he whispered, quietly. He couldn't say anything else past the wave of gratitude and the heavy dose of anesthetics that had been injected into him. <br><br>"I'll get a job as soon as possible," he mumbled. <br><br>He would get a job as a short order cook or something. Maybe even see about getting back into highschool or something. He wouldn't be eighteen for almost a year, though, so he'd have to figure out how to rent himself an apartment before he, technically, legally could.<br><br>He wouldn't think about that yet, though.<br><br>For now he would focus on healing and on getting off the drugs. Shouldn't be too hard, hopefully. <br><br>Darrien had done it. He could.<br><br>"Thank you, for all of this." <br><br>He sat up, wincing, lifting the oxygen mask from his face and wiping his tears, moving gingerly as though every movement hurt. "Can I go, yet? Or do I have to stay here. It's really nice here, but..." <br><br>But hospitals scared him. <br><br>He'd love to get to Darrien's apartment and see what it was like. When he was better, he wanted to do with Darrien what he hadn't done before - fully enjoy that beautiful body and explore that tattoo with his tongue.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>21-08-2009, 13:42:45</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Darrien waved the thanks away feeling embarrassed and put an awkward hand on Robbie’s, taking care&nbsp; not to dislodge any tubes.<br><br>“You’re welcome to get a job, if that’s really what you want, but if I were you, I’d concentrate on getting better first and then going to school.”<br><br>God, he was becoming a regular Mary Poppins.<br><br>He sympathized with Robbie’s dislike of hospitals, but the young man was still too weak and badly hurt for him to be risk his health by discharging himself so soon and he also got the feeling that his apartment wouldn’t really live up to the young man’s expectations, who was probably imagining somewhere a bit personal and well…furnished. <br><br>“I think you’ll have to stay here for another few days, probably till the end of the week, just to make sure everything’s OK,” he paused, there was no point in beating about the bush, “…and there were a lot of drugs in your body, they want to make sure the stuff has worked its way through your system before they let you go.”<br><br>He left it unsaid that he felt, he was singularly ill-equipped with Robbie doing a cold turkey on him. It was bad enough when he had been locked in room at the military academy after being beaten and left to deal with the withdrawal symptoms, it would be worse to watch someone else and cope with the aftermath. Then it dawned on him, Robbie was still a minor and Darrien was now responsible for him, although his traitorous mind recalled how adult he had seemed that night. He had mentioned his eighteenth birthday being close but he had no idea when that would be.<br><br>“You need some rest,” he added gently, “…and I need to go back to the flat to get cleaned up.” He gestured to the dried blood on the faded grey sweatshirt. “Just one thing though, now you know my real name…I need to know what I should call you….and when exactly your birthday is.”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>22-08-2009, 02:39:18</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie nodded, slowly, leaning his head back. "School?" Robbie would go to school if Darrien wanted him to. He'd give it a shot. Afterall, it could help him in ways he'd never even dreamed of. When he was little, he'd never thought that school was that important, but the more he'd experienced the more he'd realized that he was wrong. He needed school to get anywhere in life but until now he'd never had the chance. <br><br>"Alright..." Robbie whispered, sounding notably disappointed when told how long he was supposed to wait in the hospital. He wouldn't object, especially because Darrien knew best, but he did want to get out and he was intimidated by the doctors that were all around and were so educated and poked and prodded at him so often.<br><br>He let his head roll slightly to the side.<br><br>His withdrawl from the drugs was already starting but helped by the painkillers, making it a little bit more bearable for him to deal with it. <br><br>"You can call me Robbie," he said with a little smile. His voice was still a bit shakier but getting stronger. <br><br>"My real name is Robbie Bellefleur. My birthday is December 22nd," he mumbled as he coughed softly. <br><br>"I'm from Bienville, Lousiana. Itty bitty town," he coughed, softly. He lowered the oxygen mask back to his face and sighed softly. He was tired, face slack. There was never a missing persons report put out for him. His caretaker had certainly wanted him back, but he had been too scared that Robbie would tell the police what he had done to the, at that time, thirteen year old boy.<br><br>He shut his eyes, letting his head loll to one side, the medicines and his experience being beaten having exhausted him. <br><br>"You go get some rest. D'you...d'you think you could come by, before I get discharged? You make good company."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>22-08-2009, 21:05:07</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“Okay Robbie Bellefleur, I’m not usually used such unconventional way of getting to know someone when they’re about to come and live with me, but it should make it more interesting,” he said with a slight smile that reached his eyes for the first time. “I suspect we’ll have a lot of catching up to do.”<br><br>Like how he had got hold of Darrien’s card, but that was for later. In the meantime he patted Robbie’s undamaged arm and added, “Since you so charmingly said I’m good company, I’ll be back tomorrow and I’ll try to come most days, work permitting. Promise me you’ll get some sleep.”<br><br>With that, he turned and left, worrying how this was actually going to work.<br><br>Back at the flat, he took out a small bottle of pills that he usually kept at the back of his bedside drawer and looked at them intently.<br><br>Admitting defeat, he sighed and coaxed one small oval tablet on to the palm of his hand. He hated sleeping pills and their side effects, especially that he couldn’t wake up when the nightmares came, but he was finding difficult to function with the lack of rest. Tipping his head back, he swallowed it dry and grimaced at the chalky, bitter taste at the back of his throat.<br><br>He glanced one more time at the photograph next to the bed.<br><br>“I hope I’m doing the right thing,” he said softly to the smiling youth. “It’s just a shame you’re not around to tell me…you were always the sensible one…”<br><br>He stifled a yawn and burrowed his naked body under the covers and almost immediately fell asleep. The dreams came as predicted but this time the eyes of the young man in them were an unusual icy sea green.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>23-08-2009, 05:51:58</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				God, Darrien's smile was dazzling. When it actually reached his eyes and he looked happy which was clearly a terribly rare expression he was absolutely breath taking. He was breathtaking in the way that a rare sight is. There's a sort of wonder at what one sees, and then the dread that they'll never see it again, followed by the continued wonder if the beauty. That was how Darrien's real smiles were to Robbie. He so rarely got to see someone smile at him like that that he took the time to appreciate it before speaking. <br><br>He lay back in the bed when Darrien left, waiting for him to come back and not thinking of anything but that, collapsing back into the pale bedding and trying to heal.<br><br>His withdrawl was much worse the next day.<br><br>In fact, it was close to its peak, and he kept shaking and was cold and hot and God, his stomach was trying to crawl out his throat. He kept almost having seizures and the horrible way his body tensed up when it was about to happen only made him vomit again.<br><br>He couldn't stop it.<br><br>He almost wanted to die but by about seven o' clock in the evening it had calmed down a bit. He was exhausted, and actually looked worse than the day before, utterly limp and panting softly as he struggled to drink a bit of water and actually keep it down this time.<br><br>His ribs felt like they were breaking all over again each time he threw up.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>23-08-2009, 14:14:35</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				He waited until late Sunday evening until he appeared at the hospital again. Getting dressed beforehand in the dark grey cashmere polo neck and the figure hugging black jeans, he had realised with amusement that Robbie had never seen him respectably dressed. The first time, he had resembled a drowned dog in the wet and crumpled suit, the next; he had spent half a day in a blood stained, ancient grey tracksuit. <br><br>Walking down the corridors, with their pale yellow pained walls, ignoring the smiles of the nurses, he clutched a couple of paperbacks for Robbie to help with the boredom of hospital once he was a little better. Being unsure of what a 17 going on 18 year old, with probably little formal education would be interested in, he had brought two slim volumes, “Catcher in the Rye” and a collection of Sherlock Holmes stories.<br><br>Darrien peered through the small glass window of the private room before he entered and realised that not only did Robbie look no better but he looked even more drained than the day before. The ravages of withdrawal were clear on his face and the way he was slumped on the bed. He must be feeling like shit warmed up.<br><br>Darrien opened the door quietly and slipped in.<br><br>“Hey there. How’s it going?”<br><br>He sat next to the bed and took a good look at Robbie. He looked feverish, nauseous, his pupils were dilated and there was a sheen of sweat on his face.<br><br>“I was going to ask you if you were feeling any better, but that seems like a slightly stupid question. It feels like someone’s trying to rip out your guts, doesn’t it?” He paused unsure of what to say to make the young man feel slightly better. “Give it another couple of days and it should improve. Most of the junk should have worked its way through your system by then.”<br><br>Not his best bedside manner, but the effects of the sleeping pill were still making him feel groggy and sluggish.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>23-08-2009, 14:41:18</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie had been limp in bed and he got even limper when Darrien came in to check on&nbsp; him. He opened his eyes and there was a certain amount of resentment - probably because he didn't want to be going through detox in the first place - just before his chest heaved and he gagged, leaning over the edge of the bed, one hand clutching at his ribs and the other holding the edge of the bed frame for dear life. <br><br>He pressed his head into the pillows and swallowed hard. "Feels. Terrible." <br><br>He had never gone through withdrawl before.<br><br>Even with the medicines to help he felt like death warmed up.<br><br>The resentment was gone as quickly as it came, though, clearly just a byproduct of the way that his body seemed to be turning upon itself. <br><br>"Yeah, I feel terrible. They said that tomorrow should be a bit better. Today's supposed to be the-" his face went white and he gagged again, briefly, hand over his mouth, "Worst day." <br><br>He had nothing more to throw up but the way his stomach heaved was anything but pleasant.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>25-08-2009, 20:08:32</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				The older man picked on the range of emotions that flit through Robbie’s expressive eyes, but his own face betrayed nothing as he watched the agony that accompanied the gagging and the dry retching.<br><br>He did sympathise though and felt surprise at his own feelings.<br><br>“I don’t think you’re up to it yet, but I brought you a couple of things to read when you’re feeling better.” He showed Robbie the two volumes, which he put on the bedside table, just within reach of the young man.<br><br>“I didn’t really know what you’d like…so don’t worry about offending me if it’s not your thing.”<br><br>It was true, he really knew very little except for the fact that the other man could sing, had clearly run away from home in a small southern town and was a prostitute. He corrected himself quickly to “had been” a prostitute. He wondered what Robbie made of him beyond the gratitude. The young man had seen a side of him that others rarely saw and that made him feel uncomfortable. He would have been more at ease if the cold, devil-may-care, bastard journalist that slept with prostitutes was the vision that Robbie had of him. The ensuing and inevitable disillusionment would be easier to handle, instead he had been told that he was “nice”.<br><br>Darrien sighed. He was in unchartered territory and felt his attempts at distracting Robbie were failing so he added quickly, “Your room should be ready by tomorrow. I’m afraid there was very little furniture in it, except for the built in cupboards, but it should have a desk and a bed in a couple of days.” <br><br>He was unsure how to do "nice" but seeing Robbie’s wretched look, he carried speaking hoping to divert his attention, “I have a voice over tomorrow reading ‘My family and other Animals’.” He dug out the book from his own bag and added jokingly, “I can’t sing, but I’m told I have a reasonable reading voice. If you feel really bad I can read it for you, as long as you don’t think it will make you feel worse. Or …,” he paused racking his brain, “…we can talk of something else.”<br><br>He realized it was a bad idea as soon as he said it. The invitation left a wide open door for Robbie to ask him anything he wanted. Journalists rarely made good interviews, he thought ruefully but then he comforted himself that he could always either lie of refuse to answer if it got too personal.<br><br>What the hell had he gotten himself into?<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>26-08-2009, 06:21:34</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie nodded and thanked the older man, not really having the heart to tell him that he wasn't going to read the books because he hated reading to himself, and had never really had the attention span to do it. He was impatient, at the very least, obviously smart but not really willing to throw himself into school. <br><br>He had thought that he'd be able to make it big in a city like this. And prostitution had seemed so easy. He had had a grand scheme of getting a rich man to fall in love with him and then support him. Things hadn't worked out so well and hooking on the street had been enough to support him for a while.<br><br>Now he had ended up here.<br><br>He smiled faintly and leant against the bed, "I don't mind just crashing on the couch. I appreciate that you're letting me stay at your place in the first place, at all." Robbie closed his eyes to try and suppress a gag and found that he actually was able to do so. Perhaps he was getting better.<br><br>It certainly felt like he was getting a tiny bit better.<br><br>His nausea was fading away slowly and a touch of color came to the deathly pale cheeks. His pale eyes were even brighter in his pale face. <br><br>"Well...I guess..." he trailed off slowly, "You can ask me anything you want, if there's anything you want to know. I won't talk about why I left home, though. Just can't." Robbie's young voice was firm. <br><br>He then smiled faintly, "I guess...tell me about what you like. I don't want to pry, too much." Robbie had quickly realized that Darrien would tell him darker things when they lay in bed together. When he was healed, though, he would use his body to please Darrien. He liked Darrien, and wanted to have real sex with him as soon as was possible.<br><br>He was just trying to wrap his mind around things. Like the fact that he would start school again.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>26-08-2009, 13:36:04</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“You don’t want to pry <em>too much</em>?” Darrien laughed in spite of his earlier misgivings. “So a <em>little</em> prying is OK then?” He continued to smile as he teased Robbie.<br><br>Slowly the serious expression returned, almost as if his facial muscles were not used to the strains that smiling and happiness required. He looked at Robbie soberly.<br><br>“There are things that I don’t want to speak about either. So I respect that.” He didn’t specify what those were, unlike the young man on the bed, but his thoughts immediately turned to Chris and then the scars on his back. <br><br>On hearing Robbie’s comment on the sofa he looked a bit sheepish and embarrassed. A feeling he wasn't really used to. “I don’t actually have a couch. I…moved about 6 months ago and…I…really haven’t got any furniture yet.” He didn’t add that he hadn’t unpacked much either.<br><br>Darrien thought it was important that Robbie had his own space. This wasn’t just for his own sanity but also because he didn’t want the younger man to feel that he had to have sex with him. He couldn’t deny that he’d enjoyed it, but he wasn’t after a relationship. This was, after all, just a temporary arrangement.<br><br>“What do I like?” He looked pensive for moment as if the question was alien to him. “I love my job. As you probably guessed, I’m not a lawyer. I’m a journalist and I work for the Herald Tribune and our sister newspaper, the New York Times, as the chief foreign correspondent.” He paused before admitting, “It probably sounds more impressive than it actually is, but I enjoy speaking to the range of people I meet and the travel, although, as you saw it can get really tiring. It opens a lot of doors and most people are more than happy to spill their guts to you. Of course they regret it the moment it comes out in print."<br><br>He grimaced as if remembering something and then continued, "I love writing and enjoy finding out about things before others, so it seemed like a natural career choice….Outside work, I like my early morning run through Central Park. It’s the only time when I don’t have to think and put up with people I don’t like.”<br><br>It was true. He wouldn’t admit to it openly but he loved seeing the sunrise during his runs in the summer and then being alone during the dark, drizzly winter mornings, when no other Manhattanite could be bothered to leave their apartment. It created just one moment in time when he felt completely relaxed and at peace.<br><br>There was very little else in his life and he was so used to being absorbed by his career that he didn’t even notice that the list of “likes” that he was telling Robbie about didn’t refer even once to relationship or another person.<br><br>“You already know about the piano. That bit I didn’t lie about, only the job and the name.”<br><br>He wanted Robbie to know that. He wanted the young man to know that for once, most of what he had said was true. Strangely enough, this time it mattered to him. <br><br>He lied often. It was part of the job description, a case of, “No Senator, of course that’s off the record,” only for the hapless politician to find out later that their quote was emblazoned on the front page. He rarely named his sources though, which was why despite the fact that although they didn’t entirely trust him, they all still spoke to him.<br><br>“What about you? What do you want from life? What do you want to do?”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>27-08-2009, 04:00:04</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie did manage a faint smile at the teasing, shutting his eyes and leaning back into the soft pillow they had provided him, curling his legs up underneath him and smoothing the blankets. <br><br>"Just tell me if I'm asking you something too personal," he said contentedly, leaning back into the blankets and shutting his eyes. <br><br>"Wow. Impressive job." <br><br>He hadn't expected the older man to be a reporter but now that he was told it, he could actually see how he would be able to be a reporter. It wasn't terribly surprising now that he thought about it. Darrien was smart and good at speaking and he had a quiet sort of confidence that lulled others into wanting to talk to him. All things considered, it was pretty good thing he had become a reporter. It was an even better thing that Robbie wasn't someone he was interviewing.<br><br>He was pleased to know that the other man wasn't lying to him, though.<br><br>His mind screamed at him not to trust anything that he was told despite having been put up in a very expensive hospital, by someone who clearly cared for him at least a little bit.<br><br>"Thanks. Oh...I...I'm sorry that I called you, of all people. It's just that I'd had such a good night with you and you left your card in the money you gave me. Guess it fell out of your wallet." <br><br>He looked up at the stucco, uneven ceiling, swallowing and licking his lips.<br><br>No furniture, and the only thing he enjoyed was his morning run? Darrien needed a new job.<br><br>He laughed softly, though it could probably be attributed to the drugs, smiling. <br><br>"What do <em>I</em> want from life? Uh..." he trailed off, laughing, "Money. I dunno. An apartment of my own, I guess. Free time. Not having to hook to make money."<br><br>He hated being a hooker. His voice was a bit softer, now, a bit more bitter. "At least, not having to go back on the streets. Maybe being kept. I'd be okay with that. Just not having to ever get in stranger's cars and hook for people I don't know." <br><br>He shrugged and gagged again, turning over the bed, shutting his eyes. He relaxed a bit, then, looking utterly drained but as though he felt a bit better despite it all. "Can't wait to get back to your apartment, though. Hate it here. Everything's so...clean. And that picture of the countryside? I've never seen no countryside ever look like that," he said, pointing at the saccharine countryside painted in pastels hanging on the wall across from hsi bed.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>27-08-2009, 20:26:47</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Not being entirely sure whether he believed Robbie’s version of how he had got hold of the card, he let the comment slide until such a time when he had had more conclusive evidence either way.<br><br>He picked up on Robbie’s tone. He couldn’t blame the kid for feeling bitter but the comment on “being kept” bothered him. Darrien wasn’t aiming to be the person that did the” keeping”. The problem was he had no concept of not being driven and didn’t really have an understanding of those who weren’t ambitious.<br><br>“But if we’re talking about wanting something out of life. Don’t you want to have a higher aim? What about your singing?”<br><br>However, Darrien did sympathise with the dislike of hospitals and said as much.<br><br>“Hospitals are shit holes,” he said with feeling. “They might be clean with expensive treatments, but ultimately they’re miserable places.”<br><br>Darrien’s eyes followed to where Robbie was pointing at the cutesy idealized countryside painting on the wall. It was another version of what he had seen in the waiting room earlier.<br><br>“No, I can’t say that rings true with me either. Bad artist, probably does Mills and Boon and trashy romance novel jackets as a sideline to his happy hospital pictures,” he groused.<br><br>&nbsp;It wasn’t the particular artwork that annoyed him, but the fact that it reminded him of his mother’s painting style. The woman pretended to be an artist, but had no understanding of the world beyond her chocolate box renderings of poppy fields, smiling cows and happy farm labourers. During one particularly explosive row four years ago, which was initially supposed to be a ‘family peace summit’ after a silence of ten years, he had suggested that aforementioned labourers had latent homoerotic tendencies. His mother had accused him of being intentionally evil, his older brother had punched him in the face, to which he responded with a well aimed, army-trained right hook that caused a broken nose and his father had threatened to call the police.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>28-08-2009, 05:43:25</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				"A higher goal?" Robbie laughed softly past the oxygen mask and leant back. "Fall in love," he shrugged slightly and nodded, "That's all I've ever really wanted. Figured that I'd work things out from there. So, for now...just full in love. Maybe get back to church, join a choir. Nothing too big." <br><br>He shrugged, body in pain, trying to work some of that tension out. His eyes closed in obvious exhaustion but he didn't want the older man to leave yet. He swallowed past the dry throat and then sighed. "Nothing too big."<br><br>It was repeated but he was trying to catch his mind again and center his thoughts.<br><br>"Ah..." he stretched slightly and slowly, the blankets shifting a bit as he squeezed his eyes shut even tighter. "I just wanna be happy. I guess, maybe go back to school. Find out what I'm really good at doing and go back to that. Or start it, or whatever." <br><br>He was nauseous but now more tired than anything.<br><br>"I wanna find something that I'm really good at. Maybe music. I dunno. Used to play guitar, too, but..." he shrugged a bit, "Never really got around to doing highschool theatre. Maybe I could try it out." Robbie shut his eyes and lay back into the pillows with a soft sigh. <br><br>"I just wanna be happy. In love, and happy. That's what I want." <br><br>It was simple, but true. He wanted to be happy more than anything else. <br><br>Or maybe famous.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>28-08-2009, 13:13:06</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Darrien stayed a bit longer until Robbie’s eyes were struggling to stay open and then he slipped out with a promise that he would return soon.<br><br>He had been horrified at what he termed to be soppy ideals of happiness and falling in love. He was happy wasn’t he?<br><br>Work was relentless over the next few days, so much so that by the time he got to the hospital, Robbie was usually asleep and the nurses would glare at him for his poor time keeping. Robbie seemed to have accumulated quite a large fan base in the hospital and some of the staff seemed to have adopted him almost as a younger brother. This didn’t bode quite as well for Darrien as he was followed by disapproving looks as he missed yet another visiting slot and was forced to leave a handwritten note for Robbie.<br><br>The couple of times he did make, he noted that the young man was looking healthier and more alert, if a little too thin from the ordeal of the previous week. During these visits, they chatted and talked about music and highly edited versions of their backgrounds and he found himself almost looking forward to and enjoying their conversations. Darrien gave a potted history of his family, figuring that that even with Robbie being in his apartment a short period of time, he would eventually realize that the lack of photographs and the unopened letters that would be thrown in the bin were significant. Occasionally, he would weaken and open one, clearly a triumph of hope over experience, only to tear up the pieces of paper in a rage and spend the rest of the week in foul temper. Robbie definitely needed to know, if only to try and leave him well alone during those times.<br><br>The rest of his time was spent trying to find a school that would take Robbie in December and to procure a couch. Bizarrely enough, the latter proved to be more difficult as he fought with delivery and order deadlines.<br><br>Robbie’s ideals though continued to nag at the back of his mind. Happiness and love seemed quite foreign and during an alcoholic session alone at Luigi’s, the Italian restaurant around the corner, that doubled up as his second kitchen (or possibly first kitchen considering he hadn’t even used his own oven), the words came back to him again.<br><br><em>"I just wanna be happy. In love, and happy. That's what I want."</em><br><br>He definitely hadn’t been in love for a very long time and as for happiness, to be brutally honest, outside work that seemed to be in fairly short supply too. He sighed getting increasingly morose with every glass of wine without reaching a solution.<br><br>Finally, Saturday eventually arrived and Darrien went to pick Robbie up from the hospital, bringing him some clothes, which hoped would fit the sleight frame.<br><br>As he carried him up the stairs to his apartment, thanks to the elevator needing repairs yet again, he noticed how much weight he had lost.<br><br>“I need to fatten you up,” he said companionably as he set Robbie down gently outside the door and fished for his keys.<br><br>Opening the door, he helped Robbie in, assisting him with the awkward crutches.<br><br>“Well here it is. I hope you’re not too horrified,” he pointed at the clusters of boxes in the large space self-consciously, “but I did manage to get a couch. You see, I don’t really ever have anyone round.”<br><br>The leather settee stood proudly in the space still covered with plastic wrapping.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>28-08-2009, 19:14:24</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie had made friends in the hospital. The nurses liked him for his easy smile and his sweetness and politeness and the obvious sense of gratefulness at having been put up somewhere so nice. He did his best to be patient and he was friendly to everyone who came into the room but he did spend a fair amount of sleeping. He was still recovering from having gone off cold turkey. <br><br>He looked forwards to seeing Darrien and was clearly eager every time that he came in but Darrien had had a brutal week at work. Even so, the hand written notes were enough for him, enough to promise him that Darrien would stop by and try to see him again. <br><br>He was content to know that Darrien was even making the time to come in.<br><br>Robbie was eager to see Darrien when he came and he sat up, using Darrien's arms to help him out of the bed, groaning when he actually stood up. "Feel like an old man...my hips and everything, just...ah, they ache." <br><br>He stretched a bit and slipped into the jeans and sweatshirt, though even then, they hung a bit loose on his skinny frame. <br><br>He laughed when carried up the stairs to the apartment while being told he needed to be fattened up.<br><br>"Wow," he murmured, "This place is huge. Gorgeous..." he walked around slowly, touching all the boxes, "Looks like you haven't gotten much time here." Robbie's smile spread when he saw the couch, "I'll help you unpack the boxes and stuff, if you want. And I can make us some dinner." <br><br>He stretched a bit, "I'm not half a bad cook. Mostly Southern food but I can make what I make pretty well." <br><br>He tilted his head to the side and looked up at Darrien, "Shouldn't be too hard to get these boxes opened up and unpacked." Robbie was exhausted still, though, and flopped onto the couch, "You got any groceries in the fridge? I'll make us some dinner, if you want."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>29-08-2009, 19:03:50</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				For the volume of space that the side by side stainless fridge took up in the kitchen it was remarkable empty.<br><br>Darrien opened it looking slightly abashed and showed the contents to Robbie.<br><br>One bottle of Smirnoff blue label (half drunk), one bar of dark chocolate (unopened), one pint of milk (one third empty), two bottles of wine (one white burgundy, one claret, unopened), a bunch of bananas and one ice pack in the freezer.<br><br>If you could tell someone’s personality from the contents of their fridge, Darrien wasn’t sure he would pass muster.<br><br>“I’m afraid the contents of the fridge suffer from the same problem as the unpacked boxes, but fortunately, I remembered to order the groceries online. They should be here soon.”<br><br>Despite himself, Darrien was quite touched at Robbie’s offer to do the cooking and sort out his unpacked boxes, but was pretty sure that he wasn’t really in the best shape to do so.<br><br>“If remember correctly,” he started using his best mock teacher’s voice, “you were told to rest that broken ankle and I don’t think standing behind a kitchen counter cooking counts as taking the weight off it.” He smiled slightly, “So for tonight at least you’ll have to put up with my cooking. I’ll try not to poison you…In the meantime, why don’t I show you to your bedroom and give you a guided tour of the apartment?”<br><br>He put his arm out so Robbie could lean on him as they walked.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>29-08-2009, 22:08:50</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie's eyes widened when he saw how little food was in the fridge. "Nuh-uh. I'm gonna have to borrow some money from you to go properly grocery shopping. When I can stand properly I'm gonna make you real food." Robbie smiled and then reached out to take Darrien's arm, hobbling about the apartment, clearly happy to be sitting back, "I've been resting for way too long," he mumbled, "Way too long."<br><br>It had been such a long time since he'd been in a house and on his feet. "Seeing my bedroom would be cool. You said that you were checking out some schools...did you find anything that would take me?" Robbie didn't sound particularly excited at the prospect.<br><br>He clearly didn't really want to go to school.<br><br>He knew that he was supposed to do it so that he could have a future, but honestly, he would have been happy to get a job rather than go to school. <br><br>He stumbled a bit, catching himself on Darrien, trailing along beside him. "Thanks for doing all of this for me. I wish that I could thank you for doing all of this for me...I've never had someone look out for me like this." More than that, he could tell that all of this was new for Darrien.<br><br>Darrien, he doubted, didn't usually take people home with him and take care of them.<br><br>"I'm definitely gonna do everything I can to pay you back. I'm gonna start by helping you unpack...make it look like you live here, then I'm gonna start cooking." Robbie grinned and then bumped Darrien's hip gently with his own, "If you don't mind, that is."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>30-08-2009, 19:58:12</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“I’ll show you the school prospectus in a second, but I don’t need payback,” Darrien replied softly. “Just promise me you won’t go back.”<br><br>The meaning was left vague but then he cleared his throat as if to dispel any last vestiges of un-Darrien-like emotion. He didn’t know when it had happened, but sometime in past two weeks he had genuinely started care about what would happen to Robbie. He had never taken anyone back to his apartment, not even for a one night stand. He conducted those in hotel bedrooms or the other person’s home. His apartment was for himself alone, his own private space. So this was a big step and the small voice in the back of his head still told him he was being a lunatic.<br><br>“As for the unpacking,” he continued trying to lighten the tone, “you’re clearly a braver man than I. I don’t think I can even remember what’s in half of those boxes.”<br><br>He showed him around the apartment starting at the room that would be Robbie’s bedroom and en-suite bathroom, hoping that he’d like what he saw, then his own office with computer that had the half-written article patiently waiting on its screen and finally to his own bedroom, the only part of the house that actually looked lived in.<br><br>Darrien suddenly realised that he had left out the photograph of him and Chris by his bedside and cursed himself mentally. If he was lucky Robbie wouldn’t notice but he new that the kid was sharp and he’d probably expect questions later. For the moment though, he thought distraction would be the best strategy and he lifted a pile of papers from the Quaker quilt on the bed and handed them to the younger man. He hadn’t missed the earlier tone of reluctance in Robbie’s voice when he’d mentioned the school, but he was hoping his choice might sway him.<br><br>“La Guardia Arts, on Upper West Side, behind the Lincoln Centre, have unusually got a mid-term audition,” he said pausing outside the door of his own bedroom. “They’re happy for you to audition for what they call their ‘vocal music’ major just after your birthday in mid December, but if they accept you you’d have to drop back a grade. Will you give it a try?”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>31-08-2009, 01:28:17</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie listened, and then nodded, albeit a little bit uncertainly. "I won't go back." At least, he wouldn't go back if he could figure out something else to do. If he managed to get a job. He didn't like hooking, but it at least gave him a bit of money in his pocket. As long as he had Darrien around him, though, he wasn't going to worry about getting back on the street. Not ever, if he could help it. He wanted Darrien to be proud of him, to be happy that he had taken him off of the streets. <br><br>He smiled as he looked at all of the boxes; he would have them unpacked within a day or two of being here. He wanted to make Darrien eager to come home to him. He would have food ready, as well; real food. Darrien seemed like the kind of guy who probably spent a lot of his time eating out. <br><br>As he moved through the apartment, he held on, moving carefully so as not to jolt his ankle.<br><br>"I can't wait 'til my ankle's healed," he said, picking up the papers that were offered to him. <br><br>"Yeah...I'll give it a try," he said as he looked at the school papers, looking none too eager. <br><br>He clearly didn't particularly want to start school but he'd be willing to do it, and to drop back a grade. It'd make Darrien happy and the man actually expected something from him. Having someone who had hope in him was...it was thrilling, honestly. He had never had someone who actually thought he had the capability to do anything with himself.<br><br>He noted the picture of Chris in the bedroom, though. The young man looked eerily similar to him. <br><br>"Who's that?"<br><br>His pale eyes tilted up, curious, a slim and warm hand still resting on Darrien's arm, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want, though." <br><br>He was obviously curious, though, and he leant a bit closer to him to show him that he would be sympathetic to whatever he was told.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>31-08-2009, 20:57:26</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Darrien nodded and grinned pleased to see that at least Robbie would give the audition a try. He didn't want to see him back on the streets. Then Robbie’s next question and the look in those sea green eyes confirmed his fear. He should have remembered to put the damn thing away. He could lie, refuse to say anything or…or what? <br><br>The arrival of groceries gave Darrien a brief respite from answering a question that he wasn’t ready to respond to and for the next twenty minutes he busied himself with putting away various foodstuffs on shelves that had been unused to holding anything more than a bottle of beer. He had enjoyed the brief physical contact and had found it comforting but was unsure how to continue.<br><br>He was avoiding the issue and he knew it. Robbie probably had worse stories.<br><br>Sighing, he eventually withdrew his head from the bowels of the fridge and faced Robbie. Darrien made brief eye contact but then stared out of the large window across the living space.<br><br>“Chris and I were together for a few months…we were at school together…and…,” he paused, hesitant how to continue a story he had never told before and continued to look out of the window as if the darkness and the November rain would give him inspiration on how to go on. “He was the inspiration behind the tattoo…but…he died not long after that photograph was taken…he was 17.”<br><br>Darrien stopped. Even this much still hurt and the guilt came crashing back. The rest and the ensuing details were still too raw and he wasn’t willing to share the remainder of the story. He tried to mask his emotions but wasn’t quite sure how successful he’d been, so he turned his back and tried to find some cooking utensils that hadn’t been used since they had been bought and hoped Robbie hadn’t realised the significance of the physical resemblance.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>01-09-2009, 05:14:58</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie watched, just a bit sadly, as Darrien distracted himself with the groceries. He leant on the opposite side of the counter, overlooking the lovely kitchen, clearly approving of the groceries that were ordered. He could definitely make food with this. For now, though, he'd have Darrien make the dinner. Tomorrow, since he wasn't in school yet, he'd cook while Darrien worked. Hopefully Darrien wouldn't have to be gone all night.<br><br>He certainly was looking forwards to when his ankle was healed. He wanted to have sex. He wanted to be able to share a bed with Darrien. Darrien was the first client who had actually cared for him during sex and he wanted to show Darrien that he appreciated how he had made him feel. <br><br>Plus, he had taken him into his apartment, and found him a school. <br><br>He listened, slowly, as he was told about Chris. About the boy that Darrien had clearly loved. He came around the counter, then, still limping a bit but because he was being careful clearly doing decently. <br><br>He wrapped an arm around Darrien's waist in a gentle hug. <br><br>"I'm sorry to hear that. Must've been tough. I'm sorry that you lost him. Here, you sure you wanna cook? Or d'you want some help? I hate having empty hands. At least let me mix up a salad, or something." <br><br>He was trying to distract him, to show Darrien that it was alright, that Chris didn't have to always make him sad. They could make dinner together and still enjoy it. <br><br>He flushed, smiling slightly, thinking how nice it was to be able to make dinner with someone.<br><br>His one nagging thought, though, was his resemblance to Chris.<br><br>He was smart.<br><br>He had noticed it.<br><br>He didn't want to think about it but he had certainly noticed his resemblance and cold as it was, he would allow Darrien to care for him for as long as he was willing to because of that resemblance, because he knew that Darrien was still in love with the idea of Chris being alive. <br><br>Still, he had a soft spot in his hard heart for Darrien, because of how kind he had been.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>02-09-2009, 00:58:09</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				The warmth of Robbie’s embrace was unexpected for Darrien. That kind of physical intimacy was just not in his repertoire. He enjoyed it though and found it comforting, taking a deep breath as the slim arm wrapped itself around him.<br><br>He knew that from now on he would have to keep the photograph in a drawer. It just raised too many questions, but for now he was just grateful for the lifeline that Robbie had thrown for him.<br><br>“If you’re determined not to rest, I’m sure I can find something for you to do.”<br><br>There were other times to think about Chris and now wasn’t one of them. He chided himself. After all he had plenty of time when he was lying awake at three o’clock in the morning.<br><br>“I can’t really remember the last time I cooked and definitely not the last time I made a salad, so I think I better take you up on the offer, since you’re so determined.”<br><br>Whilst he was trying to concentrate on the cooking and locating some vegetables and green-looking salad things to give to Robbie, which seemed to have been momentarily swallowed by the deep shelves in the fridge, two things kept coming back to him. The first was the feel of Robbie’s arm around him, but he knew that was a dangerous train of thought and should be stopped immediately. The second was less straightforward.<br><br>Darrien knew he was fucked-up, he had a long line of people who frequently told him, but now through the vagaries of life and a strange twist of fate he had suddenly become responsible for someone else who also had “issues”. So at some point, this was going to catch up with him. The question was how soon and how badly. After all, it was only in films that you saw two fucked-up people living happily ever after and his life was definitely no feature-length movie.<br><br>“So are you up to watching a film after dinner? I’ll sit with you and finish typing my article on the laptop.”<br><br>But in the meantime, maybe he should just take a back seat and see how the story unfolded.<br><br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>02-09-2009, 03:40:26</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie smiled at the deep breath but pulled away before Darrien would get too uncomfortable. He took a big bowl and began mixing in some typical salad makings. The mixings all went together and made quite a colorful salad for them. Tomatoes, red peppers, and fresh lettuce all went together with a little bit of shredded cheese and then he began mixing in the salad dressing, making sure that he had the right amount of dressing on top so that it wasn't going to be overwhelming, tossing himself into the task. <br><br>It gave him something to think about that didn't make him feel guilty. Darrien was doing so much for him and he had so very little to give back. He at least had hope for his future, now, which was a great feeling. <br><br>Setting the salad on the table (despite a bit of wincing), he came back to watch Darrien cook.<br><br>"Yeah, I'm totally up for watching a movie after dinner. You pick." <br><br>He smiled and came over to help set the table, clearly determined to help out around the house no matter what Darrien said, taking his ponytail out. Now that he was out of the hospital and his hair had had a few days without its usual care, it was starting to take on a beautiful wave, creating rich swirls about his face. <br><br>He smiled slightly and shook some hair back.<br><br>"God, I gotta blow dry this out. It's getting to be a mess." <br><br>He gave up on running his fingers through his hair and let it be. <br><br>He sat down, then, comfortable at the little counter in front of Darrien. "I still think it's so cool that you write. I've always wished I could. Seems so cool to be able to put all your ideas down on paper like that. Get out all of your thoughts coherently." <br><br>He rested his head on his hands, thinking back on his own life, briefly. On all the reasons he had left. Now that he was out of the drug-induced haze, his memories were so much clearer, so much more painful. So much harder to swallow. Thinking of his home, with his step-father and all the Southern Comfort bottles littered up and down the little metal steps of his trailer park home, he suddenly felt his throat tighten as though he might just throw up again. Thinking of that man made him ill. Then his mother, with her soulful eyes and her once-great hands that could play piano before she started drinking and doing drugs. He remembered how clothes would pile up everywhere, soaked in beer and vomit, and how social workers were so disgusted that they thought it better to let the child fester there and die than to bring him out into the world.<br><br>His elbow slipped from the edge of the counter and he winced, rubbing it, clearly relieved to have the distraction. <br><br>"So," he said quickly, "What's for dinner?"
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>02-09-2009, 19:37:09</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				He had been secretly regarding Robbie’s progress from beneath his fringe as he strained the cooked pasta for dinner. He had seen every wince, every flicker of emotion that passed through the fine features and the expressive eyes. He couldn’t deny he still found him attractive.<br><br>Watching Robbie shake out the dark silky mane he couldn’t restrain himself any longer. “You could go for a shampoo advert if you carry on like that.” Darrien gave a genuine smile. “I think there’s a hairdryer somewhere in those boxes,” he said gesturing with a rather sharp knife. “As you can probably guess, I don’t really have a need for it myself.” His own hair was rather utilitarian, short sides and back, slightly longer on top.<br><br>Racking his mind on his film collection, he had been half hoping that Robbie would take the choice out of his hands. The word minefield came to mind.<br><br>So what did he have?<br><br>Pretty Woman was so unsuitable that it was almost funny, Platoon, definitely too bloody, Terminator, ditto, Casablanca, possible, Death in Venice, far too miserable, Trainspotting had too much drug taking, Hitchcock, maybe.<br><br>He sighed yet again. “Are there any particular loves or hates you have on the film front?” Maybe that would help him narrow down the list.<br><br>His mind went back to Robbie’s hair again whilst waiting for him to contemplate the night’s viewing. He wondered briefly how his colleagues would react to him turning up to work with long hair and a ponytail. Smiling, he shook his head at the image as Robbie came and sat across the kitchen counter from him; it would be worth it just to see the looks on their faces.<br><br><br>He was getting the veal out of the fridge when Robbie commented on his work. Nobody had called his work “cool” before and it was strangely flattering.<br><br>“I’ve always enjoyed writing. It started at first when I did articles for the school paper and then I found out I was reasonably good at it.” He paused to chop up some garlic and break some eggs into a bowl, before laying the pieces of meat into it and then sprinkling them with breadcrumbs.<br><br>“I did an English Major and a Minor in International Relations, and then spent five years in the army before leaving and writing full-time as a freelancer for a few newspapers. I don’t think I spent more than five or six months anywhere until I moved here. I probably spent most that living out of a suitcase,” he grimaced at the tomatoes he had begun to chop and put them with the garlic into the pasta that was simmering away in an aromatic sauce.<br><br>The scene would have looked strangely domestic to an outsider, with Darrien cooking and the younger man looking at him over the counter. For someone who hadn’t cooked anything for at least six months, he looked unusually proficient.<br><br>He was about to divulge more when he heard a wince from the younger man.<br><br>“You OK?” He sounded concerned.<br><br>Robbie however, seemed keen to brush it off. Darrien supposed that if he was still hungry, whatever happened couldn’t have been too serious.<br><br>“Dinner? Veal Milanese with Pasta Pomodoro and a liberal sprinkling of garlic, basil and tarragon…otherwise known as veal in breadcrumbs, with spaghetti, tomato and a load of herbs. Not my fanciest, but I consider it comfort food.”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>03-09-2009, 21:28:38</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie laughed, and gave one long, great flick of his hair. It sent the beautiful dark strands sliding over his shoulders and around his face, "Y'think? I think a shampoo advert would be great." Robbie laughed softly and looked at the boxes, nodding. He'd dig through the boxes tomorrow. Find a hair dryer, try and put some order back into his hair. <br><br>Later.<br><br>"Uh...I'll watch anything, really. I like romantic movies, though. Or funny ones." Robbie smiled faintly, tilting his head up, those pale eyes taking in Darrien as he cooked. He clearly liked the sight, resting his chin in his hands, the salad bowl behind him and neatly set in the center of the table. <br><br>"Damn. You've done so much with your life." Robbie spun the stool about, then turned back to Darrien, clearly impressed by all that the man had done. He had no particular ambitions for himself, though he supposed that he really should get about to finding some. <br><br>Then that distraction hit. The wave of memories.<br><br>He shook his head and gave a quick nod, "I'm fine." <br><br>Leaning forwards, he bent over the counter, looking at the food. "This looks incredible. I'm starved." Robbie dipped his finger forwards, catching a little bit of tomato on the tip, popping it into his mouth. "Mmm. Tastes great," he said as he grinned, looking up at him, the smile making his whole face glow.<br><br>He felt much better with Darrien than he had back at the brothel.<br><br>God, he wished that he was healed. Darrien was so attractive and he wanted to climb in bed with Darrien. Sex would allow him to forget this strange, warm feeling that Darrien gave him. That sense of security. <br><br>He felt so much better now that he had a future before him and a warm home with good food and someone who actually seemed to care about him. <br><br>It was nice to have even the tiniest sense of domestic bliss.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>16-09-2009, 10:48:19</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				It was nice to be complimented on his cooking, he decided. It was a weird sense of normality that he rarely got to experience and may be it wasn't such a bad thing to be appreciated once in a while.<br><br>He was flattered that Robbie thought that he had done a lot, but then he reminded himself that although the 17 year old was streetwise and had seen a lot, he was still nearly 13 years younger and his view of the world was most certainly very different from his.<br><br>"I haven't done that much," Darrien answered, slightly distracted as he watched Robbie lick the tomato off. His mind seemed to be little one-track tonight. "I've just travelled a lot, not really stayed in one place much. The guy that owns this block wants me to buy the apartment, but I don't know..."<br><br>He trailed off and instead concentrated on getting the food on the table, otherwise they'd both starve.<br><br>"Dinner is served," he said with a flourish as he motioned Robbie to sit down.<br><br>Once settled he tried to unobtrusively watch Robbie as he ate. Slowly Darrien came to the disturbing realisation that he even found the way the young man ate sexy.<br><br>He needed to concentrate on something else, so he brought over a bottle of wine and two DVDs.<br><br>Puring himself a glass of ruby coloured claret he offered a glass to Robbie and at the same time proffered his two movie choices.<br><br>"When Harry Met Sally or Casablanca? For some unknown reason I used to have a thing about Humphrey Bogart. May be I'm a freak," he said with an amused grin.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>18-09-2009, 04:23:25</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie leant back a bit and beamed up at him, though it was slightly stilted, still trying to shake away the memories that had been plaguing him. "I wish I'd travelled more. Maybe one day." <br><br>He stretched a bit, "You should buy the apartment. I mean, it's your money, but its always nice to have somewhere permanent to come to as a home. Like, your own place, where you know you're safe." <br><br>Safe was a key word for Darrien's new charge. <br><br>A place like home had to be safe for it to be home, and it was clearly not something that was synonymous with the word since his homes had been less than that, unpleasant. <br><br>"Casablanca would be great." <br><br>He smiled a bit and took a glass of wine, polishing off his plate of food, taking a sip of the wine and enjoying it. Mostly because it was alcoholic. He didn't know much about what was good wine or bad wine. He gave Darrien a good look up and down, smiling a bit. "Y'know, you're really good looking."<br><br>He stretched a bit, careful not to hurt his body, still a bit nervous about this whole arrangement. <br><br>"Y'know, I'll do whatever you want, right? Like...whatever." He gave him a rather significant look, still not quite believing that he wasn't supposed to be some sort of kept whore. Not that he minded that. Maybe he'd actually be able to date Darrien, though. Undercover, of course. "Honestly...I...well, I want to do things with you. I'm attracted to you." <br><br>He said the last bit shyly, and it was genuine. He rarely actually wanted to be with other men but Darrien was...different. <br><br>[[Sorry that took so long. Things have been crazy here!]]
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>18-09-2009, 16:27:26</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“You’re still young,” Darrien replied between slow sips of the wine. “You have plenty of time. Practically a whole lifetime…You can do anything you want to. Don’t forget that…,” he trailed off stretching his legs under the table just briefly enjoying the strangely domestic setting in front of him.<br><br>He listened to Robbie’s real estate advice, but said nothing in return. In truth, he was fairly undecided. There was a small part of him that yearned for stability, permanence and a place he could call home but there was a larger part that was terrified by its implications. Staying in one place required commitment, making a commitment meant you could get hurt and he wasn’t prepared to do that.<br><br>“I was hoping you’d choose that one,” he replied confidingly to Robbie on the movie choice as he continued to watch him eat. He was secretly amused at the speed that the younger man polished off the food and gulped down the wine and made a mental note that he should instruct Robbie on the finer points of enjoying a bottle of vintage claret.<br><br>He caught the frank appraisal in Robbie’s eyes and smiled back, their eyes meeting for brief moment and for once it was only his eyes that Darrien saw and not the ghost of a young man from many years past. There was a fleeting emotion that passed across Darrien’s mind, something that he hadn’t felt for a long time and for that second he felt strangely comforted, almost happy.<br><br>Then he heard Robbie’s words, <em>"Y'know, I'll do whatever you want, right? Like...whatever."</em><br><br>He spluttered. The wine practically choked him as he coughed and rich liquid formed a large dark stain on the front of the white shirt.<br><br>Bloody hell.<br><br>It was full minute before he had recovered and trusted himself enough to say anything.<br><br>He took a deep breath and with a hoarse voice replied, “Is that what you really think of me? You think I’m doing this for some sort of pay-back?”<br><br>He left the sentence to hang, his eyes flashed showing a mixture of disappointment, anger and most significantly, hurt.<br><br>“Whilst I’m not whiter than white and you know that, do you really think…I mean do you honestly think that I’m in the business of bringing back…,” he paused briefly for once unsure of what words to use. “Do you really believe I brought you back here to be some sort of kept…oh, I don’t know….”<br><br>He got up from the table and stalked off to the large window behind the kitchen area and looked down at the street scene below without taking anything in. <br><br>There was one thing that he was sure about now, he didn’t want what Robbie had clumsily implied. He had started this out as a way of keeping Chris alive in his own mind and he still wanted that, but in his own way he cared for Robbie and the forever present voice questioned his intentions.<br><br>Why should Robbie feel he was anything more than a one night stand merchant? <br><br>What did he want? Did he want more? And what did "more" mean? <br><br><br>[You took so long??? I think you're kindly forgetting how long it took me to post! :)]
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>18-09-2009, 22:44:44</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie smiled when the older man clearly approved of his choice of movie, though couldn't help but jump when he suddenly spat the wine out, choking a bit. His pale eyes widened a bit in concern, a grin playing on the edge of his lips, though that fell quickly enough. <br><br>His own glass of wine was empty - he had no real knowledge of what was good wine or bad wine - and liquor was liquor and the best place for it to be was in his bloodstream as quickly as possible. <br><br>He shook his head, "Well...no, I mean, maybe." <br><br>He bristled a bit when he paused on what word to think, then rubbed his temples, head starting to throb. He had eaten too fast and the liquor wasn't sitting terribly well with his pain killers. <br><br>"Oh, quit." <br><br>He got up, taking a heavy step, wincing as pain shot up through his leg. Being a bit lighter, he hobbled over to Darrien, placing a hand on his arm partially to comfort him, partially to steady himself, tucking his leg up a bit like a wounded dog might. <br><br>"Look, it's not...I mean, I appreciate everything you've done for me. It's just...no one does stuff like this for me. I'm a whore. I get paid to have sex with people." Robbie's eyes met Darrien's, the pale green tired, and cold, utterly worn out even before he could drink legally. "I didn't mean to doubt you. It's just...it seems too good to be true." <br><br>He let out a breath, taking his hand off Darrien's arm, not wanting to seem too imposing, "I'm sorry." Robbie turned and looked at the window, pale face pinched, clearly upset that he'd fucked up the one good thing that had happened, pretty much determined he'd be told to leave. "I guess I'm not very good at just accepting good luck and kindness." Robbie's eyes drifted down to his feet, to the carefully-secured brace on his ankle that Darrien had paid for, "It's just...you're not like other men. You're...you're attractive, and nice, and you even cooked for me. Stuff like this doesn't happen to people who...who do what I do for a living. I didn't mean to be mean." <br><br>He winced a bit, standing awkwardly against the wall, "Can we still...I mean, can we still watch the movie? If that's okay." Robbie's voice dropped down nervously, almost a whisper, looking up. He expected Darrien to lash out and his body was tense, face fallen, wincing slightly as though he knew a fist was about to come flying. That was what he had been trained to expect.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>20-09-2009, 14:50:54</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				The nervous voice, the leg tucked up protectively into his smaller frame, the tensed body, almost looking as if he expected to Darrien to physically lash out at him brought waves of guilt crashing down on his conscience.<br><br>What a fucked up, mixed up situation this was.<br><br>Turning around with his back to the slightly misted but cold panes of glass, he gently and slowly brought up his hand and started stroking Robbie’s silky strands, his fingers hesitantly parting them and massaging his scalp like you would with a spooked cat. The raven locks shone from the light of the sodium street lamps below giving a slightly unearthly orange glow. He brought his own head closer until his nose grazed the filaments of hair and could smell the remnants of the scent of the hospital shampoo. His lips were traitorously close but years of self-control kicked in and he lifted his head a fraction, out of the danger zone.<br><br>He let out a ragged sigh, realising that he’d broken all his own rules and he really didn’t know how he should act anymore. His world had suddenly changed 180 degrees on him and once familiar crutches were no longer there to offer support.<br><br>“You’re not a whore,” he said equally quietly but emphatically, looking down into those mesmerising eyes, “and I’ve been a shit.”<br><br>He hesitated before realising a bit more of an explanation was needed for this mercurial mood change.<br><br>“Robbie, I don’t do altruistic very often, so when I do, I don’t really know what to expect. I suppose what I’m saying is that I should have tried to see it from your point of view before getting all offended. It’s just when nobody has a desperately high opinion of your personality, you start reading things into what others say…” He aimed for a lighter tone to the last sentence of his explanation but he’d realised he sounded more morose than light hearted. “Let’s just take everything one step at a time. Okay?”<br><br>“Come on, put your arm round my waist and I’ll get you back on to the sofa. I’ve made you walk with that ankle, which is pretty unforgivable in itself.”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>20-09-2009, 20:41:15</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie watched, carefully, as Darrien's hand came up to his hair. When it touched his locks he winced, prepared for it to dig in and yank and then for the violence to come, but instead the older man began gently stroke his hair. He let out a slow breath, tension draining from his body, smiling very faintly. He leant close when Darrien took in a breath, the scent of shampoo still clinging to his long strands. <br><br>He wanted to kiss Darrien, but both of them got themselves under control, realizing that now was probably not the best moment to do that. They needed to try and deal with their issues before kissing each other or taking their relationship up another level. <br><br>He smiled, just a tiny bit wider, when told that he wasn't a whore and Darrien had been a shit.<br><br>He listened, as he knew he should do. He leant on his good leg, ankle tucked up underneath him in obvious discomfort, reaching out to hold onto him when it was offered. "Kay," he said, wishing that he could point out that his opinion of Darrien was so high that Darrien was practically inhuman to him. <br><br>He hobbled, with Darrien's help, back over to the couch. He tucked his legs up to the side and patted the area right next to him on the couch, "Come sit down with me. Wait...can you put in the movie, I guess? Then come sit down with me." Robbie pulled one of the blankets over him, leaving plenty for Darrien to curl up under as well once they started upthe movie. <br><br>His dark hair was slightly shifted from the fingers in his hair, falling around his pale face and framing it beautifully.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>21-09-2009, 15:53:09</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“Give me a sec. I just need to get out of this.” He pointed ruefully to his stained white shirt.<br><br>Darrien walked into his bedroom and closed the door softly behind him. He automatically stripped of the shirt and his trousers and grabbed a sweatshirt that was an over washed shade of grey and a soft pair of jeans that had a number of small holes and rips. This garment however was not designed to be sexy or aesthetically pleasing, it was merely a pair of trousers that had been worn too many times by an owner who either didn’t have time to shop for a new pair or was too attached to it to throw it out.<br><br>Once he was comfortably dressed he padded on bare feet to the bathroom. He leant heavily against the cold ceramic basin and splashed lukewarm water over his face. He peered in the mirror above to examine his face. He looked tired. He dropped his head into his hands leaning against the pedestal for support.<br><br>He was in unchartered territory and he was scared. It was the one time he had acted impulsively in his personal life and now he was dealing with the consequences. He yearned for normality, but he now realized that he didn’t know what that was. One thing though was apparent, he knew he couldn’t go back to the way things were.<br><br>Lifting his head up slowly he stared at the reflection in front of him, then abruptly, as if his image disgusted him, he turned and walked out. Picking up his laptop en route with the unfinished article on its hard drive he went to rejoin Robbie, his face back to its normal countenance once more.<br><br>He made himself comfortable on the new couch, his computer balanced on his lap, his shoulder touching Robbie’s as the opening credits rolled.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>22-09-2009, 05:53:27</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie nodded, doing his very best to relax, looking around the room as Darrien went off to change. He was uncertain and certainly didn't feel at home in an apartment as nice - and empty - as this. He had grown up around carnage and clutter. Having a place so clean and expensive was hardly conducive to his feeling at home though he knew he'd grow to appreciate it. For now, though, he was just a bit...nervous. When Darrien came back he offered a tentative smile and draped the blanket over his lap as well.<br><br>As the opening credits rolled and Darrien typed away, Robbie settled himself in close, leaning against Darrien, yawning every few minutes but doing his best to stay awake. The shared blanket kept them both warm and he snuggled up close, obviously exhausted but not wanting to sleep alone.<br><br>This apartment still felt a bit haunted.<br><br>Perhaps it was the ghost of the boy whose shoes he was supposed to fill. <br><br>He shut his eyes and lay his head on Darrien's thigh, slipping down so that he was laying with his head taking up what little space the laptop wasn't, slim fingers resting atop Darrien's knee, sleepily watching the credits though his blinks were becoming slower and more infrequent. <br><br>His breathing began to even out, body tucked up under the blanket, against Darrien.<br><br>He didn't want him to leave. He didn't want to sleep alone, though he would be fine on the couch. He was scared to be alone at this moment when his body still hurt and his head was spinning from his good fortune.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>22-09-2009, 19:25:06</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				He listened as the breathing next to him slowed and the body slowly relaxed. He had not encouraged the proximity but then he hadn't done anything to discourage it either.<br><br>Once he was sure that Robbie was asleep, Darrien stopped typing and looked down on the head so trustingly put on his thigh. Long black lashes rested on pale skin and a perfectly formed mouth was slightly open in the shape of a squashed “o”.&nbsp; Feeling too self-conscious to look this openly and appraisingly at Robbie when awake, he drank his fill now, confident that he wouldn’t be aware of it.<br><br>The simple warmth of the action and the physical closeness meant more to him than he would acknowledge, so he did not move not wanting to break the moment. For now he could pretend that everything was as it should be.<br><br>Half an hour later, with the article finished and sent to his Editor and the laptop put beside him, he slowly stretched, careful not to jar Robbie awake. The numerals on the DVD blinked midnight at him, yet unlike his charge, sleep felt a long way away.<br><br>Looking around the apartment his gaze settled on the ever present boxes and with a smile he remembered Robbie’s earlier promise with the boxes. He could no longer remember what was exactly in them. Photographs? His old articles? Books? Maybe some records. It would be interesting to see what would be unearthed tomorrow whilst he was at work. They had been in storage for a number of years during his frequent upheavals and most recently, they had been sitting on the floor of his apartment for six months, patiently waiting to be unpacked.<br><br>His mind wandered to darker topics, as it usually did when he was awake late at night, but this time he pushed them away. He hadn’t received the obligatory letter designed to make him feel like a failure from his mother for a number of months, so one must be due but he would deal with that when it came.<br><br>Briefly closing his eyes, he dispelled the last remnants of the unsavoury thought. He looked at Robbie’s relaxed form again, huddled under the cashmere throw and despite his earlier mood a smile tugged at the edges of his mouth.<br><br>He knew he’d have to move eventually and probably carry Robbie to younger man’s bedroom, but for now he was content to stay a little longer, checking the wake up alarm on his phone and reading the early morning news as it came through on his Blackberry. Tomorrow was going to be a busy day. <br><br>As the minutes winked past his eyelids began to feel heavier and he yawned and slipped unknowingly towards his first relaxed, dreamless sleep for months.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>23-09-2009, 04:42:05</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie didn't want to move, and ended up sleeping the vast majority of the night through, completely relaxed. His slim fingers would curl and then uncurl on his caretaker's thigh, gripping in his dreams, relaxing and resting gently atop his thighs. By morning, though, his painkillers had worn off and he got up, aching and sore and slightly nauseous. He ignored it as best he could and decided food was the best way to deal with it. <br><br>He whipped out flour, eggs, sugar, syrup, and all the basics that were in the fridge. Bacon, of course, was first to go in a pan, covered up and simmering, then he started laying out pancakes in another pan, scrambling eggs up. The kitchen filled with good smells.<br><br>He only had one light on, and dawn was just rising, as it was about five in the morning.<br><br>He figured that Darrien would have to get up early anyways, so he hummed as he set about cooking, an old tune that was vaguely Christian but that he didn't remember the words to.<br><br>He shut his eyes, stretched slowly up towards the ceiling, wincing. Hobbling around on his ankle was painful and it was stiff. <br><br>He looked at the boxes, laid out before him, and decided to tackle them later. He turned to Darrien then, smiling a bit. He looked peaceful, so deeply asleep, and he didn't want to wake him. he was still a bit skeptical about Darrien not wanting him. Darrien was a red-blooded male and males wanted him, at least, the ones that wanted males. He shrugged slightly. Maybe Darrien was different. Maybe, even though Darrien wanted him, he wouldn't <em>make</em> him sleep with him. <br><br>He smiled faintly and kissed Darrien's forehead, heading back towards the kitchen. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>23-09-2009, 14:21:39</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				A touch of lips and a wisp of a breath traced across his forehead.<br><br>Nice breakfast food frying smells. He took a deep breath allowing the aromas to percolate through.<br><br>Breakfast? Who would cook breakfast?<br><br>He blinked a few times trying to get his bearings and was rewarded with the sight of Robbie cooking. His sleep befuddled brain was still trying to catch up but Robbie looked undeniably cute with bed-hair first thing in the morning.<br><br>“Mmmm,” Darrien responded appreciatively and slowly unfurled himself from the couch as his back complained from the position it had been forced into for the past five hours. He winced slightly, mirroring Robbie’s earlier actions but was actually pleased at the reasonable amount of interrupted sleep he had managed.<br><br>He focused blearily on the scene in the kitchen and then smiled sleepily at Robbie.<br><br>“That smells delicious. I can’t remember the last time anyone cooked breakfast for me.” He didn’t mention that he usually skipped breakfast. Darrien’s diet in the morning usually consisted of an extremely black, powerful mug of coffee and then possibly a Danish after his run or spell at the gym.<br><br>He padded over on bare feet until he was right behind Robbie and ruffled his hair, aiming for affectionate but not sexual.<br><br>“I’ll get coffee,” he offered. His mind was beginning to function and he turned around to look at Robbie.<br><br>“I don’t want to sound dictatorial, but have you taken your meds? And as wonderful as this is, you really should be resting that ankle,” he arched an eyebrow at Robbie and then walked over to grab one of the kitchen stools, “…or… at least cook sitting down.”<br><br>Once he was happy that Robbie was going to be a little bit careful and he had taken the first sip of his coffee he spoke again.<br><br>"So what are your plans for the day? Oh... and before I completely forget here are your keys to the flat. I might be a little late tonight."<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>24-09-2009, 05:09:59</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Smiling as Darrien unfurled from his position on the couch, Robbie leant a bit on the counter to relieve the pressure on his ankle and relax a bit, keeping a careful eye on the food. He hoped that Darrien ate breakfast most of the time. He would be from now on. The one thing that Robbie's mother had told him that had stuck with him had been that 'breakfast was the most important meal of the day', always said in her saccharine accent and, later on, with a good dose of drugs. <br><br>He stretched a bit and smiled, "Coffee'd be great." <br><br>He shrugged a bit, though, when asked if he had taken his medicines. He did take the chair, though, sitting.<br><br>A soft sigh escaped, content to be free from the pressure on his ankle, sitting back. He grinned when given keys, "I have my own keys?" Robbie couldn't keep the gleaming smile from his face, showing perfect teeth that he'd gotten through lucky genes. He'd never been to a dentist in his life. <br><br>He sighed faintly, though, shaking his head. "Nah. I'm gonna go easy on the meds...the pain medicines are...well..." he sighed a bit, "I'm a bit scared that I'll take too much. I mean, purposefully. They're pretty close to the shit I did back at...well, back where I worked. I mean, I did a lot of stuff then, but I particularly liked painkillers. I'm just gonna take it easy and avoid the pills."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>24-09-2009, 17:32:41</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<br>Robbie’s reaction to the keys made him smile.<br><br>“I could have got a cat flap installed,” he quipped, “but even you would have been too big for that.” A rare insolent grin spread on his lips but then changed to concern when he heard why Robbie hadn’t taken the painkillers.<br><br>Looking enquiringly at Robbie for a few moments, Darrien eventually nodded in understanding.<br><br>“Okay,” he responded, “it’s your call, but you can’t avoid painkillers for the rest of your life. Although…I do know where you’re coming from.” There was particular emphasis on “know”. His own drugs of choice had been dope and then speed followed by a stint on particularly strong painkillers. It hadn’t been a great couple of years. Now, he barely even smoked, although at stressful times he’d been known to take a few drags.<br><br>He looked at food again and his stomach growled in sympathy.<br><br>[Sorry not my finest...tomorrow's will be better!]<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>25-09-2009, 05:41:43</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				[No worries. :)]<br><br>Robbie laughed softly, "I dunno. With all the weight I lost in the hospital, I might be able to wiggle in." <br><br>He nodded, glad that Darrien understood why he didn't want to take the painkillers, glad that Darrien had had the experiences that he had. It was so much easier to talk to someone that knew what life was really like...or at least what drug abuse was like...someone who had gone through the same withdrawal. <br><br>He shifted in his chair and gestured for Darrien to hand him two plates. <br><br>He ladelled out generous portions of pancakes, bacon, and eggs. He had everything all set up and he slid it across the counter, ready to be eaten, fresh with the coffee that Darrien had brewed. He limped to the other side of the counter and sat next to Darrien, rubbing his jaw a bit, sitting down and yawning. It was so early, but at least he'd had time to take a crack at the boxes. <br><br>"Hopefully I'll have most of it unpacked by the time you get back."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>25-09-2009, 16:26:54</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				The food vanished off Darrien’s plate at a speed which would have probably been considered indecent in polite society, but the smell was so appetizing and he was so unused to having breakfast that he didn’t restrain himself.<br><br>Giving Robbie a big beaming smile, something that was virtually unseen from him this time of the morning, he dabbed his lips and said earnestly, “Thank you. That was superb. I don’t think I’ve felt this good at six o’clock in the morning for a very long time.” He grabbed his Blackberry from the kitchen counter and bent to pick up his gym kit and then he turned towards Robbie again, “I’ll see you sometime late evening and…please don’t overdo it. Those boxes have stood there for many months, a few days extra won’t make any difference.” He smiled again and left the apartment.<br><br>It had been a mad and bizarre couple of weeks, he reflected at the gym, but strangely he hadn’t felt so relatively at ease for a very long time. Darrien felt, for once, that he was doing something right.<br><br>Did make him feel better about Chris? He didn’t know, but it did make him feel a little less of a bastard than usual.<br><br>And how did he feel about Robbie? He didn’t know the answer to that either.<br><br>An hour later, at just after seven, still battling with confusion, Darrien walked into the office. It was still early and most of his colleagues wouldn’t arrive for another hour. Enjoying the rare moment of quiet he took a moment to gather his thoughts in preparation for the rest of the day. He compartmentalized and quashed his feelings to the recesses of his mind with a practiced and ruthless efficiency that bore the trademarks of many years of practice and lightly pushed open the door of his own office.<br><br>“Oh…Morning Sir,” Darrien said to Mike Whittington with surprise. The Editor-in-Chief was sitting at Darrien’s desk with a pretty, if vacuous looking, buxom blonde.<br><br>“Morning Calder,” he responded amiably, clearly looking pleased with himself. “I have a present for you.” He got up, winked conspiratorially and pointed at the young woman. “This is Melanie, your new secretary.”<br><br>Now this had been a point of contention between the two of them for many months. Darrien had insisted that someone of his position needed a PA to organize his diary and answer his calls and thus far Mike had resisted, but to his stunned surprise, he now had a secretary, even if she looked like a rather dim one.<br><br>Right on cue Melanie turned on her prefect orthodontic smile at him.<br><br>He smiled automatically but without any true warmth. The Chief brushed passed him smiling broadly and clapped Darrien on the back before whispering, “I believe the girl is a real corker, so I’m sure she won’t be blind to your charms. If you know what I mean?”<br><br>Darrien was slightly shocked as Mike left him and then the startling realization hit. Mike wanted him to screw around with his new PA so that he wouldn’t have complaints from Abi.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>26-09-2009, 08:27:52</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie smiled and nodded, glad that the older man had enjoyed the food. He began cleaning up the plates, moving gingerly but effectively, gathering them up in as few movements and steps as he could. He washed, found where the plates belonged, then put them away neatly, one atop the other. He stretched upwards and got to work on the boxes.<br><br>He put away all the old knickknacks, setting them on shelves and tabletops and lending a distinctly less sterile feel to the apartment, filling the shelves up with books. He got through all but three boxes and snuck out of the apartment for a smoke.<br><br>He stood there, then, counting his luck.<br><br>How he had possibly been so very lucky to have been put in this position, he didn't know.<br><br>He had been taken from somewhere terrible to somewhere good.<br><br>Hopefully Sable wouldn't find him, and he'd never have to see his seedy home again. He tapped the cigarette out and headed back upstairs, taking a long nap. Sleeping helped relieve the pain in his ankle and he took full advantage of that fact, sleeping until far past the normal dinnertime. He got up with a curse, glad that Darrien wouldn't be back until later. There was some chicken in the fridge, so he took it out and stuck it in a bag, shaking it with a touch of Bisquick and cheese, then sprinkling a bit more cheese on top. It came out as breaded chicken cutlets with a hint of Parmesan in the crust, then he set that to bake, making some hearty rice with chopped onions and peas to go with it. After simmering that for a bit he set his own onto a plate, made a plate for Darrien, and covered it with saran wrap. He ate only a bit and then put his plate away.<br><br>He didn't want to sleep on the couch. He headed toward Darrien's bedroom, tentatively stepping in, smiling sadly at the picture of Darrien and Chris together on his bedside table. He realized that he was meant to fill those shoes and he was certain that he couldn't do it.<br><br>He ran his slim fingertips along the frame and gave a slow shrug. <br><br>He then pulled out one of Darrien's sweatshirts, lying down on the bed. He had only a t-shirt and pajama pants and that's what he wore, snuggling up with Darrien's sweatshirt tangled about him once he put it on, face buried in it so the scent surrounded him with each breath he took, arms pressed up towards his face to allow the position. He curled up on the center of the bed - atop the blankets - only intending to rest for a moment there. <br><br>Sleep came heavy, hard, and fast, and he lay there for what would easily be hours if no one woke him.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>27-09-2009, 19:08:58</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Despite the rather promising start, the day got progressively worse.<br><br>First there were the knowing smirks around the office and then, a few hours later, he learnt of the office sweepstakes that at least twenty people had signed up to, where bets were being taken on how long it would take for the beloved Melanie to “submit to his charms”. The shortest was half a day, the longest was a week.<br><br>Melanie meanwhile, complete oblivious in her naturally vacuous state of mind, had mixed up three diary appointments and cancelled a fourth without asking him.<br><br>He felt the pressure build up at his temples as the day ground by and deadlines piled up. By 4pm he had finally managed to file his three stories and the take up on the sweepstakes had increased to forty.<br><br>Darrien heard the ribald comments hushed up as he walked past the other journalists’ desks and felt himself seethe at the impertinence. What was strange was that three weeks ago he wouldn’t have cared what they thought. It would have been just another story to add to the Darrien Calder womanising myth, another layer that would make it difficult for anyone to break his cover. Now it just made him tired. All that effort to pretend that he was something that he wasn’t. The problem was that it was just too ingrained. He’d spent his whole adult life pretending so that he’d just fit in.<br><br>Sixteen hours after the start of his day, he was finally at home. The word just came to him as he slid his key into lock and he realised that it was the first time he had thought of the apartment in that way.<br><br>He headed straight for the fridge and found the food Robbie had thoughtfully left for him and smiled despite his lingering black mood. He presumed his house guest had probably taken an early night but felt oddly regretful that his buoyant personality and charm weren’t there to welcome him.<br><br>A half-eaten meal and a shower later he walked into Robbie’s bedroom to check on him.<br><br>It was empty.<br><br>Panicking he went to his own room to check if he’d left a note and found him sleeping peacefully on the bed.<br><br>He cursed softly under his breath. <br><br>Darrien ran through his options but realised he was too tired to carry Robbie to his own bedroom and too pissed off to sleep on the couch by himself. Carefully, he rearranged the covers so that Robbie was tucked up under the blankets and then he slid between the sheets next to the sleeping figure.<br><br>It was just this one time, he reminded himself. What was the worst that could happen?<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>28-09-2009, 05:37:14</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie noticed Darrien come in. He was highly conscious of whenever someone got in bed with him, and he associated sharing a bed with the worst nights in his life, the nights when he wasn't rented by the hour but by the day. Pale green eyes cracked, then shut immediately when he saw that it was Darrien, a pleased smile touching his lips as he settled back into sleep. He looked angelically peaceful.<br><br>He rested where he had been put for a few minutes, but he only stayed there briefly. Quickly enough he turned his body slightly, and moved so that he was lying with his back to Darrien. He tugged his arm impatiently to get Darrien to turn, spooning him, mumbling something. <br><br>He nuzzled his body in so that they were flush against each other.<br><br>He didn't want an inch between them and his pale eyes cracked again to look over his shoulder as his dark hair fell in front of his eyes. <br><br>"Glad you're home..." <br><br>Robbie finally managed to mumble, a smile touching his happy face, one leg tucked up. His injured ankle was carefully wrapped in the brace, tucked up and away, breathing a bit uneven. His ribs still ached where they had broken and were just healing, and he lay gingerly, clearly uncomfortable with his lack of painkillers but doing his best to sleep peacefully. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>29-09-2009, 13:04:28</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Darrien wasn’t used to sleeping next to anyone. So when Robbie cuddled up to him his first reaction was to stiffen. However, the young man was seemingly oblivious to his discomfort and settled down peacefully again.<br><br>He could extricate himself, but that would wake up Robbie, so he stayed in the position he had been coaxed into.<br><br>There was a reason he didn’t like sharing a bed. His insomnia was the first and the nightmares the second. He hated the idea of someone staring at him in pity, asking what it was that made him toss, turn and shout in the middle of the night.<br><br>He tried to relax but found he was extremely conscious of the warm body that had moulded itself next to him. It was ironic that someone like Robbie, who had gone through things that Darrien could only guess at found it much easier than him to trust and fall asleep next to somebody he barely knew.<br><br>If only it were that easy.<br><br>Or maybe he just thought too much.<br><br>He closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind and felt muscles slowly unwinding. The rhythm of Robbie’s breathing started to calm him and without thinking his own intake of breath fell into the same pattern. <br><br>His last thought was that perhaps this wasn’t so bad after all.<br><br><em>He saw pale green eyes looking at him sadly.<br><br>“You could have stopped this...” the young man accused him. He looked like Chris and yet the pale green eyes seemed to belong to someone else.<br><br>The figure came closer and Darrien saw the noose around the slender neck.<br><br>He knew what was going to happen next and couldn’t stop it...</em><br><br><em>“Noooo...”</em><br><br>He sat bolt upright shaking, the dream still fresh in his mind. <br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>30-09-2009, 14:16:33</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Everything had been going just fine until, bam, Darrien bolted upright. The blankets pulled and the mattress shifted and Robbie sniffed, flopped from one side to the other, and let out a slow sigh as he opened his eyes only to realize that Darrien was no longer holding him. Propping himself&nbsp; heavily on one arm, he looked up at Darrien, eyes slightly squinted in the complete darkness, barely able to make him out. <br><br>"What's up? Bad dream?"<br><br>A small, warm hand reached out, trailing comfortingly up Darrien's side. He had soothed many a young prostitute come into the bar like this. He supposed it was universal. Touch helped. <br><br>He shivered slightly, reaching down to pull on the blankets a bit, "You okay?"<br><br>Halfway between sleep and wakefulness now, he had a sweet, saccharine Southern accent making his words lilt pleasantly and evenly. Gone entirely when he was awake, it was a reminder of his past that he didn't even notice until he was fully conscious, which he wasn't right now. His hand ran slowly up and down Darrien's side - up and down, up and down - humming a soft little tune to himself. <br><br>Maybe it was an old Christian hymn that he'd known. <br><br>If he was, he certainly didn't remember the words anymore.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>30-09-2009, 21:15:09</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				His breathing was heavy and he could feel the thin film of sweat on his body despite the cold night air as the cotton sheets clung to him. His body felt weighed down with guilt.<br><br>The dream always scared him, but at least he hadn't had the full technicolour version tonight.<br><br>This time he felt a comforting hand rubbing his side soothingly. The touch grounded him as the did soft southern lilt and the humming. He almost felt like a child again, except his mother had never been one to caress and comfort with lullabies or tender touches.<br><br>"I'm sorry," he said shakily, "I'm just not a very good sleeper."<br><br>Darrien lay down again, his propped up by pillows and looked across to the young man next to him, trying to make out his shape in the darkness.<br><br>"It was only a dream," he said softly. "I'll be fine."<br><br>Then he realised he wasn't sure who he was trying to convince, himself or Robbie. The problem was he knew the face in his dream was no longer truly Chris.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>01-10-2009, 00:09:17</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie shook his head, "S'alright." His voice was soft, sweet. He moved his body a bit so that he was laying alongside Darrien's body and wiggled until his head was resting atop Darrien's shoulder. His ribs, ankle, and head all ached now that he was awake once more. He let out a displeased sound and buried his head in the crook of Darrien's neck, taking in a deep breath, clearly pleased by being close to the older man. He let one hand drape over Darrien's toned chest, curling his slim frame up against him, holding on to him. <br><br>The faint light curved over the swell of a hip, the awkwardly tucked leg, the slim arm draped over his body. <br><br>"Just lay back..." he murmured softly, hand moving lazily over Darrien's body to soothe him. His breathing was still deep and even and he was clearly still mostly asleep. He had no idea that it was his green eyes that had taken over Chris', his own frame superimposed on that ghost. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>01-10-2009, 23:56:38</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Warm breath ghosted on his neck as Robbie southern drawl urged him to "lay back". The after effects of the dream were still with him but just the feel of the body next to him was comforting.<br><br>There had been no difficult questions, pitying looks, just plain acceptance and comfort.<br><br>His own arm came down from where it was supporting his head and wrapped around small body that was next to his.<br><br>Darrien was scared at how comfortable and natural it felt to him but vocalised nothing and stared at the ceiling until his heart rate slowed and nightmare slowly started to loosen his grip on him.<br><br>They fell into an easy rhythm over the next few days. Darrien's work was demanding as ever and Melanie continued to drive him to distraction, but to the surprise of his colleagues, their relationship remained just that of an annoyed boss and an ineffectual secretary. Some even gossiped that they had begun to see Darrien occasionally smile or joke with those he worked with.<br><br>The difference in attitude was not a quick or a sudden change, but those who observed him at the newspaper offices noticed these little behavioural changes and all this even led to Mike Whittington deciding that some woman must have eventually won over his chief foreign correspondent's heart.<br><br>Robbie had now been with him two weeks and a regular fixture in Darrien's bed for nearly the same amount of time, although the older man had not yet made any further move, wanting Robbie to be well again before he even thought abut the following stages to what he had started, at least in his own mind, to call a relationship. <br><br>It was a rare Saturday morning that the two men were contentedly dozing in bed, Darrien for once having slept fairly well, when he remembered the issue of Robbie's schooling once more.<br><br>"Have you actually thought about your audition yet?" Darrien asked sleepily, stroking the hair of the young man next to him.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>02-10-2009, 00:53:38</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				They had settled into a rhythm that was utterly smooth. Robbie got up in the morning and had breakfast on the table, giving Darrien a good reason to work out. He cooked using real butter and real meat and didn't skimp on seasonings. Dinner was always ready too, though he hadn't started cooking lunches for him. Robbie was blessed with a fast metabolism and the drug use had helped. God, the drugs. He hadn't done them but every day that he went without them was difficult. He watched television and cooked and baked until Darrien's kitchen was practically overflowing but the urge still nagged at him.<br><br>He still smoked - though he went outside to do it - less than a pack a day but close to it. <br><br>Saturdays and Sunday were his favorite days, though. He was able to spend his time with him and just laze about. <br><br>"Ahmmm..." Robbie mumbled, stirring a bit, stretching out his body. He had healed nicely. He wasn't limping anymore and his ribs seemed to have taken care of themselves. The bruising along his jaw and eye were almost entirely gone. "Not really." <br><br>He yawned once more, "A bit. I have a couple of songs I know that I can sing. Maybe a showtune, or something." Robbie had spent a bit of time on the computer, and he had figured out a lot of things about the school. Like the fact that many popular singers, teen heart-throbs, had been signed from that school. He had an eye on Broadway, though. Plays and broadway, maybe some acting. That was lofty, though, and he knew it. He was happy to just lounge about here. <br><br>He looked up at Darrien, smiling. His smile, early in the morning, was sunny and bright and completely content. He let his fingertips trail down along Darrien's chest. He wanted to have sex with him. It was a blunt thought, but they'd had quite a while to put it off for quite some time, now, and he didn't particularly want to wait any longer. Now, though, was just a time for relaxing. <br><br>"Mmm. Want me to go cook something. I think I could do French toast today. Or eggs Benedict."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>02-10-2009, 18:14:21</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“I thought I was the one who wanted to fatten you up, not the other way round,” Darrien grinned as he responded to Robbie, “but French toast sounds nice.”<br><br>He let his hand drift from the silky hair stroking Robbie’s side, stopping just short at the elastic of the waistband. It was nice to see the bruises nearly all gone and Robbie looking less pale, with a bright charming smile.<br>Darrien often found his own body responding to the proximity of his companion, but always tried to quell his desire. He’d found that thinking of his parents usually had the desired effect. Thinking of parents, he also often wondered about Robbie’s. He wondered whether there was anyone out there worrying what had happened to their bright attractive son. Just as Robbie had respected his privacy on Chris, Darrien had done the same regarding questions on his family and home life, but the thought was always there. <br><br>“You know,” Darrien spoke suddenly inspired, “if you want, I could accompany you on the piano… if you…err wanted to get some practice sometime this weekend? I’ve actually don’t have that much work to do.” His voice sounded unusually hesitant as if he was almost embarrassed. He hadn’t played in front of anyone for years, but the Steinway grand that stood alone in his living room deserved a better fate than he had given it over the past few months and more to the point, he really wanted to hear Robbie sing properly.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>03-10-2009, 06:52:10</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie laughed softly, sleepily, allowing his caretaker to stroke a hand down his bare side. He had on just some boxers - he'd borrowed a bit of money and gone out to get himself some clothes - in a rich crimson. They were cotton and soft. They were certainly flattering on his ivory skin. He'd been so tempted to seduce Darrien but after his offer of sex to Darrien, sex in return for Darrien taking care for him, he was wary of how Darrien might react to his offering himself up again.<br><br>He had divulged nothing about his family - about his still-living family that still wondered where he was - in order not to worry Darrien. He doubted his family would ever find him here, anyways. They certainly wouldn't. They never travelled out of his Lousianan home for any prolonged period of time. <br><br>"I'd love to sing while you play..." <br><br>He yawned once more, then sat up a bit, smiling faintly and stroking a hand down Darrien's chest. His eyes glittered, his fingers traced the outline of Darrien's muscles briefly, before pulling back. "Nice." <br><br>He smiled a bit and then slipped out of bed, still entirely comfortable with his sexuality, though he supposed that he should be considering that he had been a prostitute. <br><br>"Hey..." he said with a little yawn, stretching and not bothering with clothes, "D'you wanna...take a shower together, or something?" Robbie didn't know of a diplomatic way to ask it, "I mean...y'know, give having sex a shot? For fun." <br><br>He was doing his best to make it clear that it wasn't just some compensation thing for his lodging.<br><br>"I'd like to. But...if you don't want to, that's fine." <br><br>Robbie nodded, let out a breath, then escaped to the kitchen to give Darrien a minute to think things over. He sighed softly, rubbing at his temples once he was in the kitchen. The school papers were in front of him. They wanted basic things - proof of I.D. - which he didn't have. He didn't have his birth certificate. It was back at home, with his mother, and he would have to get it from her. He didn't have an I.D. because he didn't have a birth certificate to get one with, and he didn't know what he'd do.<br><br>"I have another problem to let you think over early this morning." Robbie tapped the part of the paper that asked for a proof of I.D., a pretty basic thing. "That." 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>04-10-2009, 15:39:08</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Darrien responded with a genuine smile to Robbie accepting his offer and then he felt the small hand brush his chest. He arched into the touch but the contact was brief and he was left with the sexy view of Robbie’s tight buttocks clad in the crimson boxers.<br>&nbsp;<br><em>"I mean...y'know, give having sex a shot? For fun."</em><br><br>The question or suggestion when it came wasn’t exactly a shock but Darrien realised he wasn’t entirely used to the disarmingly candid way Robbie thought about sex. He was by now fairly sure that the younger man was offering because he wanted to rather than from a sense of obligation but he still hesitated in responding.<br><br>He wished he was as relaxed about his own sexuality.<br><br>Things were going well, life was uncomplicated and he was worried that the added layer of sex would change things. On the other hand, he enjoyed the amount of physical contact they had and he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t want to progress it.<br><br>The idea of a shower was damned attractive and was an intriguing reminder of their first meeting in that seedy brothel four weeks ago.<br>Did that make today a nearly-one-month-anniversary?<br><br>Darrien was busy imagining what the episode in the shower would be like when he had the piece of paper thrust in his face. Taking a moment to focus on the small print, he realised the “That” happened to be proof of ID.<br><br>“Well,” he said thoughtfully, making some room on the bed so that Robbie could sit next to him, “you’ve got a few options. If you were born in New York it would have been easy, we could have just gone and picked up a copy of your birth certificate, but if you’re place of birth is Bienville, then Louisiana is unfortunately what they call a “closed record state”, which basically means it’ll be nightmare getting a copy, unless you have ID which proves your are the person on the certificate, which then would bring us back to the first problem….” Darrien paused at this point and tried to think of a way to phrase his next question as diplomatically as possible.<br><br>“I don’t want to pry, but if either of your parents is still around and you feel you could speak to them, then that would probably be the easiest way.”<br><br><em>Sorry it took me while to figure out how you could get birth certificates!</em>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>04-10-2009, 23:27:01</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie was probably too open about sex, but it had been his job, and it was hard to stop acting that way once he got used to it. He figured that it would happen when it happened; it would be hard to find a time when they both felt comfortable. He had grown increasingly more comfortable around Darrien and felt as though he were living with someone he truly cared about for the first time, though there was a certain tension that was just now fading after his offer of having sex as payment for his lodgings. <br><br>Now, though, they were beginning to get over that; at least Robbie thought that they were. Their relationship had evolved from one that was entirely based on pity to something much closer, much closer to the relationship two lovers might have. <br><br>He looked at the older man's reaction to the paper.<br><br>A frown creased his pale face, pretty eyes becoming dark as he tossed some bread into egg, then into a buttered pan to begin cooking. <br><br>"Fuck..." <br><br>He flipped the French toast and stayed quiet for a little bit, "I mean...I guess I could. They're around. My mother is. And my step father. My mother probably thinks I'm dead," he let out a little barking laugh, "My step daddy's the only one who knows why I left, anyways." <br><br>He flipped the slice again, adding a second to the pan, frowning down at it. "I don't want to call them. I....I mean, I just..." he shook his head, "Things were bad back home. Maybe..." he swallowed, shrugging, "Maybe I should, but...I dunno. I..." he shook his head once more. "I guess I should call them. You gotta help me, though. I haven't talked to them in so long, and...I dunno."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>05-10-2009, 14:25:47</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Darrien slid out of bed and walked over the cold parquet towards Robbie. He wrapped his arms around the slim body in front of him and planted a gentle kiss on his hair.<br><br>“I’d be happy to come with you next week to Bienville if you want me to. I think I can even dig up a few ex-ambassadors who now live somewhere in the depths of Louisiana to interview on ‘The Changing Face of American Foreign Policy’…or something.” Louisiana wasn’t exactly the hub of activity for foreign affairs but if he dressed this up well, he was fairly confident that Whittington would sign up to his idea. However, getting Robbie on a plane without ID was going to be interesting.<br>Oh well, one step at a time.<br><br>He was particularly worried about the way Robbie had mentioned that his step father was the only one who knew why he had left. Maybe he was being paranoid, but didn’t exactly fill him with confidence about the man.<br><br>The question was how he was going to broach it delicately with Robbie.<br><br>“Look, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to but how bad were things at home?” Darrien continued to hold him as he spoke, starting hesitantly and very well aware that the younger man didn’t want to talk about his previous home life. “I mean, did your stepfather do anything…anything to you that…I might want to hit him for?”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>06-10-2009, 05:09:32</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie smiled, leaning into the arms that wrapped around his body, shutting his eyes and relaxing briefly. The smell of cooking filled the air around him and with a pair of comforting arms wrapped around him, everything felt just a touch better, a little bit brighter. He frowned but nodded, slowly, knowing that that was probably the best. He should go home and get it in person. Fuck his family. He'd worry about them later. For now, he just wanted to think about being with Darrien and standing here for a minute. <br><br>"We could take a train there. Or drive, or something." Robbie didn't even think of taking a plane. He'd never been on a plane in his life before, let alone hopping on one suddenly to just jet down and pick up a few papers. It was almost unthinkinable to imagine having the money to just hop on a plane on what was somewhat of a whim.<br><br>And somewhat of a necessity, but that wasn't something he'd ponder quite yet.<br><br>Robbie's frown came back and intensified as he looked up at Robbie, "Yes," he said candidly, "Yes, you'd want to hit him. He did terrible things. He's a bad person and he's going to rot in Hell when he finally does die." Robbie's voice was cold as ice and laden with bitterness no one his age should have. <br><br>"I'll go and get my birth certificate. Say hi to my mom and let her know I'm alive. But I'm not spending a minute alone with that man." Robbie began to rub his hands up and down his arms as though he were cold, shaking his head, "I hate him more than I've ever hated anyone in my life. He made me...I did things, things kids shouldn't do, 'cause he made me. 'Cause I was scared. But I ran and I didn't look back and now I gotta go back to that shithole, and..." he let out a breath, "And I'm not leaving your side and we're just gonna get the paper and go." <br><br>Robbie's voice was anything but firm, now, and there was a definite thread of bitterness and fear and almost complete exhaustion stringing through him, "I just can't," he murmured, "I just can't look at him. Can't bear to look in his eyes." <br><br>He turned back to the pan, then, busying himself with cooking so he wouldn't have to think. He slid the French toast onto the plate and cracked eggs, scrambling them, adding bacon to another pan. The more he cooked, the less he had to think. They already had a fairly large breakfast but by the time it was on the plate it was gigantic, though he seemed content to just pick at it, as though his stomach was incapable of processing food. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>07-10-2009, 13:35:45</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				The lack of appetite told Darrien a lot, that and the substantial breakfast that Robbie had cooked to get his mind off things, which was probably enough to feed the whole block.<br><br>He had already decided that the stepfather must have abused Robbie in some way, although he hated to think exactly what had happened. He had an intense dislike of his own parents, but he couldn’t really compare what they had done to him, with what he imagined Robbie had gone through.<br><br>Impulsively he took the young man’s smaller hand in his.<br><br>“Look, I promise I will be with you the whole time. I won’t let anything happen to you, and if that bastard so much as tries touching a hair on your head, I will make him regret the day he saw me.” Darrien didn’t issue threats lightly. He had let one person down in his life, he wasn’t about to do that again. It took a lot to turn his usually cold simmering anger to something like this and when it did, the results were fairly explosive.<br><br>Tightening his hold on Robbie’s hand, he gently tipped the teenager’s chin gently upward so that he could look at his eyes. <br><br>“You don’t have to tell me what happened if you don’t want to, but I do understand,” he paused then wondering how to phrase his story so that it didn’t seem as if he wanted sympathy but more to illustrate that he had guessed what had happened. “When I came back to school after what happened with Chris, some of the Seniors who had heard about the whole thing dragged me into their dorm…and … I was scared…I didn’t want to be there, but I was lucky. One of the monks heard me shouting and stopped it before too much happened, but he blamed me. I knew it wasn’t my fault, that the little bastards were just bullies….But you know that don’t you? You know that it was nothing to do with you?”<br><br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>07-10-2009, 15:30:33</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie had a faintly green tinge to his face, and he looked like he was about to lose what little bit of food he'd already eaten. He nodded, feeling a bit safer now that he had that promise from Darrien, a promise he could tell that the older man intended to keep. He listened to what had happened to the older man, after he had lost Chris. He knew all too well how devastating it was to have that happen at all, let alone following on the heels of the death of a loved one. He shook his head slightly and tried to force a little smile. <br><br>"No. It was me. He never...he never did <em>it</em> to anyone else. Just me." Robbie's voice cracked, then, and he struggled to hold back tears that hadn't fallen in so very long that he'd thought his eyes had dried up, "He said he liked me eyes. The way they looked when he did it." <br><br>His shoulders were trembling faintly and his hand shook within Darrien's, his grip limp. <br><br>"God," he whispered, shaking his head, not wanting to talk about this. Not wanting to remember this. It was like word vomit, though. He couldn't stop himself from talking, couldn't stop the story from spilling over his lips. He'd never told anyone before. <br><br>"I just...I couldn't stay, not when he would...not when I knew he wouldn't stop. And I was already dirty. I tried hitchhiking. Most people wanted some kinda payment, and all I had was me, so...so I started selling myself. Then I got here, and kept doing it, 'cause it was easy money and it'd happened enough times before that there was obviously some reason I was meant to do it." <br><br>He dragged the back of his hand roughly across his eyes.<br><br>Dammit. He hated when people saw him cry.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>08-10-2009, 14:17:48</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Sick bastard. Those were the first two words that came to Darrien’s mind.<br><br>He watched helplessly as he saw tears well up in Robbie’s eyes and the fall unimpeded down the alabaster skin of his face. Keeping his hold on Robbie’s hand he went over and stooping over his chair held him.<br><br>“Don’t ever say that you’re dirty, because nothing could be further from the truth. Do you know what I really like about you? You don’t judge, you care and you have the ability to totally charm anyone you meet. You’re a really special person Robin Bellefleur and you should never forget that.” Darrien tried to put the conviction that he felt behind the words. It was a novel experience, he wasn’t a person who naturally comforted others and on a certain level he felt his words sounded like platitudes from a Hallmark card, but he did actually believe in every single one of them.<br><br>Darrien passed a tissue to Robbie before continuing.<br><br>“That sick bastard said that stuff to you because he wanted to control you. You didn’t make him do it, he was abusing his position with you and you shouldn’t be ashamed of what you did. You did what you needed to do to survive. That was then and this is now.”<br><br>After all, his own past was hardly glorious, but somehow it was easier to give reassurance than to take it yourself.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>08-10-2009, 15:32:02</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				"Thanks..." Robbie whispered, taking the tissue, scrubbing it against his eyes which were now bright as gems in that pale face. Color was starting to come back to him, though slowly, and he forced a smile to his face despite the fact that it was obviously bitter. "I did other stuff, too. I figured out that it was easy. That men looked at me. Wanted me." Robbie ran his fingers through his hair and then blurted out, "I slept with the town sheriff. He...he paid me, gave me an allowance, and then I'd do whatever he wanted me to, whatever his wife wouldn't." Robbie looked up at his lover, shutting his eyes briefly and then shrugging.<br><br>"I wonder if he'll recognize me. Bienville's real small, so he'll probably see us coming in." Robbie bit his bottom lip and pushed some food around on his plate, "God, this is so fucked up," he finally murmured. He looked up at Darrien and squeezed his hand gently, "Thanks for everything," he murmured, "For supporting me like this. Taking care of me." <br><br>He wished he could make Darrien understand.<br><br>Understand that yes, he had been abused, but then he'd taken the fact that he was no longer pure and peddled it around to other men. That what had happened to him was naturally his own fault, because it wouldn't have happened to him otherwise.<br><br>He scooted his chair, then, coming over to give Darrien a soft, slow kiss, a gentle one. "Thank you..." he whispered, then went back to his side of the table, slipping back into his chair.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>08-10-2009, 19:15:18</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“That’s what I’m here for,” Darrien replied softly, responding to the kiss. His appetite had totally gone as well and he looked wistfully at the mountain of food on the table.<br><br>“Since we’re being so honest with each other, I should probably tell you a couple of things too.”<br><br>Robbie seemed to still believe that he was used goods and Darrien wanted him to understand that in some ways they weren’t that different.<br><br>“You know, I don’t even know how many people I’ve slept with. I’ve had men and women and I only slept with the women so that people wouldn’t realize I preferred men. I mean, this is the longest period of time I have spent with anyone since I was in my late teens.”<br><br>If purity was an issue, then he had lost his a long time ago.<br><br>“When I was younger, I picked up men in clubs, then I realized it was too risky, so I started to pay for it. Not that frequently, since I didn’t want anyone to find out, but once every couple of months when I couldn’t deal with lies and the train of dumb blondes, redheads or brunettes anymore.”<br><br>He took a deep breath. He wasn’t going to mention how he’d let Chris down yet. There were other ghosts he wanted to lay to rest first.<br><br>“I got most of the scars on my back, when I was in the army. You know how I got them? The staff sergeant knew I had a habit and used to give me the drugs when we had sex, he saw it as more of an understanding and I was perfectly happy to go along with it. He wasn’t bad looking and he didn’t force me to do anything.” Darrien smiled grimly at the memory. “He liked cutting and I was usually so out of it I didn’t really care what he did. Then my CO found out and gave me an ultimatum.”<br><br>Darrien ran his hands through his unruly dark hair. He wasn’t proud of a lot of things he had done and whilst they bothered him, he’d come to the conclusion that he wasn’t going to apologise for them either. There was only one thing that he still felt he needed to repent for.<br><br>“Robbie, I making a bit of meal of trying to explain this to you, but your Sheriff gave you money and my Sergeant gave me drugs. The world is a fucked up place. It’s not black and white and there’s very rarely a right or wrong….I know it’s not easy, but please stop beating yourself up about this, your past is not an issue.”<br><br>He held out his hand, hoping that the younger man felt the same way.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>08-10-2009, 22:05:00</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie sat back and looked at Darrien, feeling a bit better now that the older man had responded to the kiss, sinking into the chair across from you. He felt better and better as the older man talked. Listening to the older man assure him that he'd slept with many people, how he'd started picking up prostitutes. It let him know more about Darrien; made him realize that his rescuer and caretaker wasn't exactly lily-white. He wouldn't have it any other way. It was nice to have someone around to take care of him who understood what this sort of life was like. He gave him an appreciative smile, letting it warm his cheeks, clearly happy. Well, perhaps not actually&nbsp; happy, but...at least a bit soothed, and more comfortable around Darrien. <br><br>"Sounds horrible," he murmured to hearing about how the general had cut him, "I wouldn't have liked that. I don't mind a bit of stuff, like...I dunno, spanking, or biting, but...cutting? I couldn't do that." <br><br>He reached out and took Darrien's hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.<br><br>"I'm gonna do my best. To forget about all of this...put it behind me. Start a new life in school and stuff. Do well." Robbie gave Darrien a small smile and then nodded, shaking out his dark hair, letting it fall around his face. He let out a slow breath. He'd stay off drugs. Stay off drugs, not have sex for money, try and stay faithful and good well in school. Get back into church. <br><br>Yeah.<br><br>That sounded like a plan. <br><br>"So," he asked softly, "When're we thinking of going to Bienville? I don't really wanna call ahead of time...I know I should, but...everyone'll be there anyway. They never hold a steady job so they'll all probably be at the house." He let out a slow breath, "We could fly to New Orleans and then rent a car and drive there..."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>10-10-2009, 20:31:46</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				It felt nice telling someone about himself, someone who didn’t judge and weirdly enough, even felt comforted by it.<br><br>The answering squeeze from Robbie’s hand broadened his smile.<br><br>“I can’t ask you for more than,” he replied referring Robbie’s promise to try his best.<br><br>Then they were talking about sex again.<br><br>“Yeah cutting,” Darrien replied with a shrug, “it’s not exactly something I’d recommend with hindsight, nor would I really want to do it again. The other stuff? Believe it or not, I’m fairly vanilla these days, but maybe with the right person I’ll widen my repertoire.” He said this with a twinkle in his eyes and a rare mischievous grin on his face.<br><br>Amongst all the drama of the morning Darrien realised, he hadn’t had his customary kill or cure coffee, he got up, giving Robbie a meaningful kiss en route and marvelling how natural it suddenly felt.<br><br>He pondered their travel arrangements and the espresso machine chugged to life.<br><br>“You know what?” Darrien said suddenly. “I’m not going to bother with the ex-ambassadors. For the first time in ages, I’m going to surprise my editor and take a holiday. That way we can go when we want and you don’t have to call if you don’t want to. I can even check for flights for tomorrow if you want, especially if we’re going to drive 300 miles each way. I suppose you don’t want to stay the night there?” <br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>10-10-2009, 20:54:28</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie smiled, his smile broadening when Darrien gave him that mischevious little grin and told him that with the right person, he might be willing to widen up his repertoire. He watched the older man go and grab his cup of coffee, leaning up to offer up that kiss. There was something peaceful about being with Darrien, as though they were already in a routine. <br><br>Robbie grinned up at him, "That sounds great. And...no, not really. I don't want to spend the night. Maybe in a hotel a town over, or something, but..." he let his shoulders rise in a Gallic shrug, "Not in my parent's house. Mom's house, I guess." <br><br>He didn't consider his step-father to be a father to him. <br><br>"Yeah, maybe we can check for flights tomorrow. It'd be nice to just...get it over with. I'm really glad you're coming with me, though." Robbie's voice was audibly thankful, smiling up at him. He reached out, "Can I have a cup of coffee too?" <br><br>He smiled and tucked his legs up under him on the chair, pushing his food around on his plate, wondering what they were going to do today. Things had been calm, recently, relaxed. Now that he was getting healthier, his ribs didn't hurt and he could walk, he was actually able to get out and do at least a few chores like cleaning and grocery shopping. He'd also unpacked the vast majority of the boxes, and the house looked at least a little bit less sterile. <br><br>Idly, he wondered if Sable was looking for him. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>12-10-2009, 15:30:35</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“Understood. No offence, but I don’t think I would desperately want to stay there either.” Not after what they had done to Robbie, but he left that unsaid and instead made a second powerful cup of coffee.<br><br>Darrien stood and looked intently at the screen of his Blackberry, sending first an e-mail to Mike Whittington and then searched for flights and then for somewhere to stay.<br><br>Finally satisfied, he looked up at Robbie, “Okay, there’s a 9:55 flight tomorrow morning to New Orleans on Delta. They’ve got seats…and …,” he looked back to his machine, “hotels are a bit trickier.” It seemed all the accommodation near to Bienville consisted of fairly nasty looking motels. The decent hotels were mostly in southern Louisiana and Darrien wanted to book something a bit more special after what was probably going to be an emotional and tiring day.<br><br>“Right…there is one…it’s an old plantation house about an hour’s drive east of Bienville and they have a suite available. I’m not entirely sure how open they are to two men sharing in Louisiana, but it might be interesting to find out. How does that sound?”<br><br>He didn’t add that if after driving that far they didn’t let them stay, he would tear the manager limb from limb and then make sure the rather liberal travel editor on the Herald would blacklist them for the rest of their lives.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>12-10-2009, 20:28:57</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie nodded, and smiled a bit when Darrien found them a flight. "That'll be good. I hope the flight goes okay. I've never been on a plane before." He sat back and sipped his own cup of coffee slowly, letting the warmth and caffeine soothe him and fill him up in the best possible way. He felt so...content. Despite the fact that he had just spilled his darkest secrets and worst memories to Darrien, he felt light as a feather despite that encroaching fear of going to see his parents again. He smiled faintly at Darrien.<br><br>"They probably won't like it much but I guess they'll have to deal with it. I doubt they'll turn us away outright..." he shrugged and set down his now-empty mug, standing up and picking up their plates. He began washing them out and setting them down to dry on a spread-out dish cloth.<br><br>He turned to Darrien and stretched a bit.<br><br>"I'm gonna go hop in the shower. Do you have anything you have to do today? I sortof wanted to look around Central Park." Robbie paused, then, flushing a little bit, "I saw some carriages going around in Central Park. I thought...well, it would be kinda fun to look around Central Park that way." <br><br>He couldn't stop himself from flushing just a bit. He knew that it was silly and a rather romantic little dream of his, but hopping into one of those horse-drawn carriages sounded like a lot of fun to him. That was exactly what he wanted to do, especially given how chilly it had gotten. It would be a lot of fun to sit curled up under a blanket. <br><br>"Or maybe we should pack. We are leaving pretty early tomorrow..."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>13-10-2009, 19:00:57</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“Early? This is really civilized compared to most of the flights I take,” Darrien responded teasingly. “But I promise to take care of you on the flight. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it,” he added reassuringly but not mentioning that he’d actually booked business class. It was important to him that Robbie’s first flying experience wasn’t going to put him off for life.<br><br>“So I think we’ve got plenty of time today, especially since I’m now officially on holiday.” Mike had responded to his e-mail, asking immediately when he would get to meet the woman in question. That was something he’d have to sort out on another day, but for the moment, he was going to focus on the here and now. “Why don’t we do a bit of gentle shopping now that you can walk about and then end the afternoon in Central Park? I’ve never done the horse and carriage rides.”<br><br>Darrien would never admit it but there was a bit of the old romantic in him but it was a trait that he rarely showed in front of others. It made him feel vulnerable but he had been rather secretly pleased at Robbie’s suggestion. For once he was beginning to feel wanted for what he actually was rather than some fake notion of what someone else wanted him to be.<br><br>A broad smile transformed his usually stern features as he thought about a ride during sunset in Central Park.<br><br>[a bit saccharine - hope you don't mind...]
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>13-10-2009, 21:25:32</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie smiled but it was a bit nervous, not wanting to get on a plane, though he did know that it was entirely necessary. He needed to get a copy of his birth certificate so that he'd be able to go to the first day of school. He nodded when asked if he wanted to do a bit of shopping, grabbing his jacket and heading into the bedroom, slipping into a dark pair of jeans and a t-shirt, tossing the jacket on over it. <br><br>"I need to get some clothes for school. I mean, they have a uniform, but I need to get the stuff for it. Like, a few white button-down shirts and navy slacks. Guh. It's so ugly..." he picked up the computer, then, looking up the address of a nearby store that supplied school uniforms. He jotted it onto the back of his hand.<br><br>"We can get the stuff there. My uniform, I mean." <br><br>He wrinkled his nose, then looked up at Darrien. He had the distinct idea that he'd fall perfectly into that schoolboy fetish when he wore his uniform. He stretched up, then he got up and headed towards the door. "Alright. Let's get that shopping bit over with, then we can go on the carriage ride." Robbie's whole face lit up, then, clearly eager to be in the carriage. He had never even gotten near one of those, let alone been allowed to ride in one. It was going to be fantastic.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>14-10-2009, 20:51:02</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Quickly getting dressed himself, in his regulation jeans and cashmere polo neck, Darrien emerged back into the living space.<br><br>“Here you go,” he tossed Robbie one of his own jumpers. “I know it’s big you’ll freeze otherwise…and yes I know what I sound like.”<br><br>A t-shirt and a jacket in November? Didn’t he feel the cold?<br><br>“Oh…and whilst I’m sure you’ll look cute in your uniform, I had some slightly more interesting Fifth Avenue shopping in mind and getting you some warmer stuff,“ he paused, wondering how much to say. “I’ve got some trips abroad for work in December and when you get your birth certificate, I’d really like to get you a passport so you can come with me to London, Paris and then Helsinki for Christmas. I haven’t celebrated Christmas for years because I’m usually on my own in some hotel somewhere, so it would be nice to do it properly for a change.” It all came out in a bit of a rush but it really would be nice not to be alone over the holidays for a change.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>15-10-2009, 04:18:41</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie couldn't help himself as he took the jumper, "Thanks...<em>mom</em>," he added, but then gave the older man a quick kiss to make sure that he wouldn't be able to say anything in response. <br><br>"Fifth Avenue?" Robbie had a vague recollection of that being expensive.<br><br>He hoped that Darrien didn't expect him to pay him back. <br><br>He certainly didn't have any savings but Darrien had been so kind so far, maybe this was another gift. He looked at Darrien, tilting his head slightly, then smiled a bit. "London? Paris?!" Robbie's voice rose and he actually turned in a circle on the tips of his toes, "That would be...oh my God, this is like a fairytale. I've never been in such a big apartment and now I'm going to Paris..." <br><br>He couldn't stop the blissful grin from spreading over his lips, though that dropped as he pressed a searing kiss to Darrien's lips, his body flush against the older man's, slim chest pressed against Darrien's and his hands gracing the older man's hips. <br><br>He pulled back and let out a soft pant.<br><br>"Wow..." <br><br>It took all he had not to kiss him again but he yanked the jumper on - with the finesse of someone unused to wearing delicate fabrics - and immediately began trotting towards the door. "Let's go shopping. Then we can go get in the carriage..." <br><br>Robbie was all but skipping now, eyes glittering, cheeks flushed with pleasure. <br><br>He had never looked so genuinely and unaffectedly happy before.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>16-10-2009, 15:24:24</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<br>The kiss, the passion and depth of feeling left Darrien temporarily breathless, stunned and totally speechless in equal measures, a decidedly rare feeling for the jaded reporter. He had realized belatedly how nice it actually felt to make someone else happy. <br><br><br>Following in the wake of Robbie’s joyous gait, he called to the younger man, “Slow down Tigger…and you forgot about Helsinki.” There was an affectionate teasing tone to Darrien’s voice.<br><br><br>“So I guess I should take your reaction as a yes then?” He drew level with Robbie and hailed a yellow cab from the street, ushering Robbie into it before putting his arm around the young man’s slender shoulders and asking the driver to take them to Fifth Avenue.<br><br><br>The physical proximity of the two men would have looked unremarkable to most New Yorkers, but for Darrien who had never shown any degree of physical intimacy towards another man in public, it was a big step. He was very conscious throughout the ride of the position of his arm and the warm body that it enveloped but he was also conscious of the fact that, for the first time, it actually felt right and by the time they got out of the taxi in front of Saks, he actually felt comfortable.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>19-10-2009, 00:18:29</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie turned back, grinning, looking up at Darrien with gleaming eyes. "And Helsinki! I don't even know where Helsinki is but it's gonna be so cool!" His pale cheeks were flushed with color and even his gait seemed more steady despite the fact that his ankle was still a bit sore. He hopped into the cab and rested his head on Darrien's shoulder, watching the scenery flash by them as they jerked and jumped past other cars. <br><br>It meant a lot to him to have Darrien sling an arm around his shoulders. He knew that Darrien rarely reached out and held people so to have the older man holding him made something in his stomach jerk in the strangest way. In a good way. He rested his head on Darrien's shoulder, perhaps making the older man a bit uncomfortable&nbsp; but he didn't move away. <br><br>At Saks, he got out, and just paused for a minute.<br><br>"There's no way I can afford any of this," he said before Darrien was even fully out of the cab, looking in the windows at all of the beautifully cut and styled clothing. Not to say that he didn't want all of that clothing, but he knew how expensive all of it was, and he wasn't really certain Darrien would want to pay for all of that. <br><br>He smiled faintly, the cool wind blowing his hair all about. He could have been a model in that moment, the dark hair flying about his face, framing the slightly too-thin face and brilliantly green eyes. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>19-10-2009, 12:55:06</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Stunning. <br><br>There was no other word for it. Darrien’s felt his insides lurch in response and for a moment the apprehension brought on with the onset of unfamiliar emotions fought with the strong attraction he felt towards Robbie.<br><br>He took a deep breath as his eyes were transfixed by the young man in front of him. Live for the moment, he told himself and placed his hand in the small of Robbie’s back, gently propelling him into the department store.<br><br>“Helsinki is in Finland in northern Europe. The Tribune is doing a Christmas feature on it,” he said whilst wondering how he could say such an inane fact with a relatively normal tone of voice when his heart was hammering against his rib cage with such force.<br>He should have realized that Robbie would feel uncomfortable in an expensive shop. It was a bit late to retract, so he’d have to improvise.<br><br>“Let’s just say it’s an early birthday present, shall we?” He didn’t want Robbie to feel indebted to him. He was doing this because he wanted to. Spending barely a fraction of a substantial annual salary because he was hardly ever anywhere long enough to buy anything significant, money wasn’t really an issue, not on this scale anyway.<br><br>He pointed Robbie toward the sign that said “Personal Shopping Service” and snaked his arm around the narrow waist.<br><br>“Humour me,” he grinned. “I don’t get out much as you know and I shop even less frequently, so just indulge me, okay?”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>19-10-2009, 23:23:23</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				"Sounds far away." Robbie would be hard pressed to even put Europe on the right continent. He was smart, but he'd never paid much attention in school. He wondered what going to school in New York was going to be like. Certainly different than the 'work' he'd been doing in the whorehouse in the back streets. He had a feeling that his whole life was turning around in the best possible way. <br><br>"Alright..." Robbie still seemed a bit shell-shocked by the whole thing but he wasn't going to object having such nice clothes bought for him. Not if it was an early birthday present. That way he didn't really have to think about paying Darrien back and he didn't have to stress out about it. <br><br>He headed towards the 'Personal Shopping Service', amazed that such a thing even existed.<br><br>People had other people shop for them? He'd heard of it, of course, but only in passing. <br><br>"I guess we should get some basic stuff, then. A winter coat, and a scarf, and a hat. And gloves. And...boxers, I guess, and socks. And jeans. I really don't have anything. Are you sure this is alright?"<br><br>He would have been find going to Walmart.<br><br>He was so enamoured with the clothes here, though. They were absolutely beautiful. He beamed up at Darrien. His heart felt like and his stomach felt warm, a bit fuzzy. A bit like there was a parasite growing in it but not in a bad way, in a good way. That was the only way his mind could think to describe it. He'd never set out to be a poet anyhow.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>21-10-2009, 14:05:38</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Happy that Robbie’s objection seemed to have dealt with to a certain extent; he put a possessive arm back around his shoulders.<br><br>“Of course it’s okay. I wouldn’t have offered otherwise,” he smiled again to reassure Robbie. “We also need to add jumpers and shirts. As much as I like you topless,” he whispered into Robbie’s ear, “I don’t think it would be suitable for where we’re going,” he finished with a smirk.<br><br>They finally arrived on the fifth floor, where they recognized Darrien and an over-efficient blond that was tottering precariously on high heels ushered them through to an empty but lavishly decorated ‘consultation room’.<br><br>Darrien turned to Robbie again, who seemed still slightly dazed at the turn of events.<br><br>“They are a bit annoying here, but it’s a hell of a lot easier to have them running around the store than the two of us…and it’s quicker. It’s…”<br><br>His conversation was interrupted by a tall and immaculately dressed woman in her early twenties, who gave them both a full beaming smile. Not long ago, she would have been the exact type that Darrien would have picked up in a bar, now he was faced with the startling realization that he had no wish to chat her up to prove himself. Safe in this new knowledge, he leant back in the designer black leather chair and watched in amusement as she tried to figure out the relationship between the two men.<br><br>He had a feeling she preferred Robbie from the way she looked at him as she walked in, but he couldn’t be sure, so just to clear up any doubt in her mind he casually put his hand on Robbie’s thigh and reflected&nbsp; how much his life had changed in just one month.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>22-10-2009, 05:51:37</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie was more than overwhelmed. He felt like he was on auto-pilot as he let Darrien guide him into the expensive elevators and past a blonde on heels that could have been weapons they were so narrow, shooing them into a small room with another woman, one who he guessed was going to teach him what was fashionable. Dress him up like some young doll. He gave her a polite smile and leant into Darrien's side. <br><br>Feeling the heat radiating from the man's side was soothing and he wrapped an arm around Darrien's waist lazily, though with the hand resting on his thigh - just thinking about it made his stomach jump and twist - it was probably superfluous. His head turned as he tried to gather everything all around him. <br><br>"I need clothes. Like, a whole wardrobe." <br><br>He was blunt with the woman but his eyes and face were friendly. He needed everything, though. He needed the sorts of things that most people at least had one of. <br><br>Coming from where he'd come from, though, he really didn't have much.<br><br>"...And maybe some more fun clothes. Ripped jeans and stuff." Robbie didn't really want to go back to prostituting but it was a safety measure. That was what he told himself, trying to be logical, but what he really remembered was the way that Darrien's fingers had caressed his skin through those ripped jeans, exploring the skin on his thighs. God. <br><br>He had to shake his head a bit to decloud his eyes.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>22-10-2009, 11:47:38</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Darrien was clearly having his Richard Gere moment, but there was no doubt in his mind that Robbie was a lot more attractive to him than Julia Roberts.<br><br>There was a slight sardonic raising of the eyebrows at the mention of the ripped jeans but in fact, he was just trying to hide a burgeoning bulge in his tight jeans. He was losing the battle though, so as calmly as he could, he took off his jacket and laid it across his lap, whilst Robbie described the rest of his clothing needs. <br><br>The young woman did look confused, probably thinking why someone needed a totally new wardrobe from scratch, but to be fair she was still being polite and charming, although Darrien wondered cynically, if that was because of the bonus she would get at the end of this shopping spree.<br><br>At last, she left them with coffee and pastries whilst she went to bring clothes.<br><br>Taking the opportunity Darrien, turned towards Robbie. He felt the heat in his cheeks as the image of the ripped jeans settled in his mind once more.<br><br>“Ripped jeans, huh?” He asked in a low, slightly husky voice. “Since I don’t think you were planning to wear those in sub-zero temperatures, were you thinking of a slightly more suitable use for them?”<br><br>The implication was obvious and part of Darrien couldn’t quite believe he was being that blatant.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>22-10-2009, 15:33:56</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Darrien's coat did a good job of hiding what he didn't want the woman to see, but it was all that Robbie could do not to sneak his hand under the jacket. Robbie reached out to pick up a warm mug of coffee with one hand, taking a slow sip and letting the caffeine soak into his tongue, though he was certainly excited enough not to need it. <br><br>"Well," he murmured, and then he did let his hand drift under the jacket, giving Darrien's member a slow, caressing stroke through the jeans before pulling it back and innocently wrapping it around the coffee mug, "I thought that they'd be something I could wear tonight. In Paris, and Helsinki, too." <br><br>His eyes glittered as he smiled.<br><br>He looked utterly pleased with himself, "I think I'll need to break them in sometime soon, though. Maybe even tonight." <br><br>He took another sip of coffee so that he wouldn't get caught sneaking his hands under Darrien's jacket again. God, though, he wanted him. He wanted to just go at it right there. It had been so long since he'd actually wanted sex and now he remembered just how good it felt to want just one person, and not to be on the market for everyone.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>23-10-2009, 14:47:05</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				He bit on his lip hard to stop himself from moaning out aloud, but he still couldn't stop a small whimper from escaping as Robbie's hand stroked the bulge under his jeans.<br><br>"You're incorrigible, have I told you that?" Darrien replied teasingly when he finally managed to control himself and then bent over to give Robbie a deep kiss, sharing the taste of the coffee that the younger man had just drunk.<br><br>When he pulled back, there was a twinkle in his eye.<br><br>"I would love a private fashion show of you wearing those jeans. Maybe you'll even need help getting out of them if they're a bit on the tight side?" He asked innocently. "After all you wouldn't want to be stuck in them forever, would you?"<br><br>Darrien couldn't put what he was beginning to feel into words quite yet, except for the fact that it just felt right.<br><br>His mind formed a silent promise - he wasn't going to screw this up, not this time. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>23-10-2009, 23:13:58</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				"Don't know what that means, but...I'm gonna go ahead and say that you like it." Robbie's grin was gleaming, despite the fact that his education certainly didn't match his potential. He moaned into the kiss, slim hands coming up to hold Darrien's shirt, not really wanting him to pull away. <br><br>"I think I'll need you to help peel them off of me. Afterall, you know how tight the last ones were. And I'll make sure that they have lots of rips here..." he picked up Darrien's hand and let the fingers trace over his thighs, "And here..." he grinned, "And here." There, he stopped Darrien's hand right below his own hardening member, grinning. <br><br>He had never been playful before.<br><br>This was so different from any other relationship he'd ever been in. He liked it. <br><br>It was nice to have something new and reliable. He let out a slow breath, "Whoo. I need to get myself under control. You can at least sit there...I'm gonna have to try on clothes," he added with a smile.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>26-10-2009, 05:12:57</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				"It means," Darrien grinned, "that I'm never going to be able to correct your wicked ways. It means that you're going to tease me like this forever and that I'm not going to be able to do a damn thing about it." He was laughing as he talked, just enjoying the simple pleasure of not having to censor what he said.<br><br>He liked the way Robbie held on to his shirt and then moved his hand over the slim thigh. He could see Robbie's arousal clearly and smiled whilst moving his fingers over the tented denim, ghosting his digits over the outline, but not entirely touching. Part of the older man liked the slight element of danger of the personal shopper walking in on them at any time.<br><br>Kissing Robbie fully on the lips one more time, he said very quietly, almost to himself, "I could get used to this."<br><br>Finally pulling back, he sat in his leather chair, feeling a little dazed at his own behaviour.<br><br>"You think you're going to have trouble? These jeans were fairly fitted in the first place, with any more encouragement from you and I'll squirming through most of your session!"<br><br><br><br><br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>26-10-2009, 06:26:33</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie was laughing even as his caretaker's hand ghosted over the denim, though a soft moan did tint the edge of that laughter and make it slightly huskier, a bit more wanton. His eyes showed the lust that he tried to keep his body from showing. He took a few deep breaths, trying to get himself under control.<br><br>"I want to get used to this. For it to be like this for a long time yet." <br><br>Robbie flushed as he admitted it, and with a bit of steely willpower managed to get his erection to flag just as the woman was walking back in with clothes, doing his best to keep it utterly hidden. He knew that Darrien was still squirming in his seat, though.<br><br>He loved that the older man wanted him that much.<br><br>There was a huge part of him, though, that was saying that this wouldnt' last. That Darrien would get tired of him and get rid of him because that was what men did.<br><br>No man wanted to take an ex-child-prostitute into their home and love them. Robbie decided to put his heart out and on the line, though, carry it on his sleeve in the hopes that this really was true.<br><br>Afterall, Darrien wanted to go to Paris with him. The city of love.<br><br>There had to be some truth in that.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>27-10-2009, 01:07:20</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Darrien just about managed managed an answering kiss before he&nbsp; he scooted over to his seat, just as their personal shopper came in with a helper, each of them wheeling along a full rack of clothes. Some verged on the ludicrous, but he suspected that they were playing safe and providing for a really wide spectrum of taste, although even if that were true, he still couldn't see the point of the lace fringed leather jacket which had a tartan pattern embossed on it.<br><br>He glanced at Robbie and rolled his eyes.<br><br>All of this still hadn't solved his problem though. He was still sitting with a hard-on in a very tight pair of jeans and he knew it wasn't going to get that much better, since the chaging room was only separated from the seating area with a rather flimsy looking curtain.<br><br>Leaning back he smiled at those beautiful pale green eyes, "Well, I'm looking forward to the fashion show."<br><br>He switched off his phone so they wouldn't be disturbed.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>27-10-2009, 15:20:27</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie grinned at the jacket, "Oh, no. I think that that's just the sort of thing I want to get," he said, but rolled his eyes as well. Who would ever wear something that ridiculous? He got up, initially just grabbing some basics, then realizing that the fitting room had a near-sheer curtain. It would give a lovely silhouette of his bare body. Grinning, he glanced at Darrien, then began slipping into a pair of well-tailored bluejeans. He was slow in pulling them up, making a show of letting the light catch his long legs and throw their silhouette onto the thin fabric.<br><br>When he came out he had on dark blue jeans that hugged his body, finely tailored, and a black sweater over a dark red t-shirt. All of it was designer and all of it fit him like a glove, clinging to his thin body, accentuating the long lines of his body. <br><br>"How does this look?"<br><br>There were many other things to try but as this was fairly basic...he shrugged. He could get these things in multiple colors. <br><br>Then he saw the perfect pair of ripped jeans to try on next. Skin tight and artfully faded, they had rips going up and down the thighs to show slashes of skin. He'd have to make a few that would be even higher but the jeans did a fairly good job of looking whorish on their own.<br><br>He'd have a field day showing that to Darrien.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>28-10-2009, 20:39:19</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Oh fuck.<br><br><br>Darrien knew the woman was smirking at him, but right now, he couldn’t really find it in himself to care.<br><br><br><br>The jacket was now a permanent on his lap as he glanced surreptitiously through the curtain at Robbie’s lithe silhouette. He hadn’t felt this physically attracted to someone for a very long time.<br><br><br>“It looks great,” he replied honestly and then both their eyes met as they looked at the ripped jeans and he could feel himself his face getting hot.<br><br><br>Where the hell had that come from? He hadn’t flushed from embarrassment since he was in his teens. He guessed it was the implied connotation of the jeans and the link to their first night.<br><br><br>“Umm…are you going to try those on too?” Darrien tried to sound as casual as he could, but deep down he knew that he probably looked and sounded like an awkward lovelorn teenager. He really needed to control his rampant hormones, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to step in the store ever again.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>29-10-2009, 06:08:37</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie held the jeans in his hands, turning them a bit, then looked thoughtful while a tiny smile tugged at his lips. "No...no, I think I'll wait 'til I get home." When he was certain that the woman was busy inspecting the tag on a pair of pants, he murmured, "I think a private showing of these might be more appropriate." It would be like a nice cyclical ending. He would put on the same sort of jeans that Darrien had slipped off of him the first night that they had met. <br><br>A few more pairs of slim jeans on even slimmer legs and he had the pants he needed. The shirts were a bit more complicated. Robbie kept declaring that he looked like "a skinny version of a gay man" and the woman kept rolling her eyes as she handed him ridiculous outfits.<br><br>Finally grabbing a few nice button-down shirts and some sweaters that hugged his narrow frame, he seemed a bit mollified. "See, these are clothes for normal people. Not with like...sequins and shit." <br><br>He tried on a black coat that he loved, a nice wool trench coat, and some thick scarves for winter. He was slipping on a pair of black leather boots that were low, as well as a pair of sneakers that were quite fashionable for daily wear, "Are you sure you're alright with this, Darrien? It's a lot of stuff..." he sounded uncertain, even though he hadn't been allowed to look at the prices (he might have passed out) by the saleswoman. He was still wearing a pair of pale blue jeans and a rather unique black blazer that hugged every line of his body.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>30-10-2009, 00:24:25</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Nodding at Robbie's suggestion, Darrien briefly closed his eyes and imagined the treat in store for him and settled to watch the rest of the fashion show, laughing at the the ridiculous outfits the young woman had suggested and the younger man's reaction to them. Finally, there was a reasonable amount of suitable clothing on a separate rail in the corner of the room. Darrien stretched and surveyed the amount, doing a quick mental calculation of the cost, which was actually less than he thought. <br><br>He was charmed but unsurprised by Robbie's hesitant demeanour. Robbie probably thought of the whole thing as being totally extravagant.<br><br>"Great," he said, beaming at their personal shopper, "we'll take it all. Except for a few items, can you wrap them all and deliver them to my account address?" <br><br>Darrien turned to Robbie. "Is there anything you want to wear out of the shop? It is a bit cold out there." It wasn't subtle but he didn't the young man getting hypothermia just as things had started to go so well, and if Robbie thought he was being a mother hen, well he'd had far worse accusations levelled at him.<br><br>"So a spot of lunch and then a carriage ride?"
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>30-10-2009, 23:28:08</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie frowned slightly when the personal shopper was told that they would take it all. That was a lot of money to spend all at once. Naturally, he was grateful, but at the same time he couldn't help but be a bit hesitant. He didn't have any means to pay Darrien back with. He'd just have to try and be particularly useful around the house now that he'd healed from his beating. "Yeah," he said, rolling his eyes, "I'll take the coat and scarf." <br><br>Thinking of it, then, he grabbed a pair of gloves. "Yeah. Maybe we can get something to go? We can eat in the carriage. I can't wait..." <br><br>Robbie's mood was undeniably sunny.<br><br>He couldn't wait to get into the carriage and go around Central Park. It was so lavish that he could barely accept it. He was so excited. <br><br>Dark hair falling in front of his face, he kept on a pair of almost black blue jeans and a set of boots, tugging a black sweater over a hunter green t-shirt. He pulled a black coat that fell to his knees on over that, stuffing his hands into the pockets.<br><br>"C'mon, let's go!" Robbie said, spinning on his good foot. He couldn't wait.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>01-11-2009, 20:52:37</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				The infectious enthusiasm made Darrien smile and he slipped his arm around Robbie’s waist once more as they left the store. It was easier this time round, but part of him wondered how he would react if they saw someone he knew, but he firmly put his concerns aside.<br><br>The older man couldn’t help looking across as Robbie, the clothes not only suited him but made him look stunning. Darrien noticed they got a number of looks from both men and women as they walked out of Saks towards the park and in an uncharacteristic show of modesty, he thought that others must be seeing what he saw, a striking, slim young man with jet black hair.<br><br>“Would you mind,” he asked gently, “if we have a slightly more…umm…civilised lunch? The thought of greasy hot dogs and getting mustard on my chin, doesn’t really do it for me. It’s just that,” he paused a moment, slightly annoyed with himself at showing weakness, “I thought if we’re doing the carriage ride…we could do it at sunset?”<br><br>He didn’t look at Robbie for a moment, rather embarrassed and horrified that he had been outed as a complete romantic. This was a side that nobody got to see and part of him couldn’t believe that he was showing his vulnerability to someone he had barely known a month.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>03-11-2009, 05:30:11</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie looked back when Darrien gently phrased the question, and he could have sworn that his heart skipped a beat, then jumped uncomfortably up into his mouth. He swallowed and nodded, "That sounds great," he finally murmured, reaching out to give his hand a soft squeeze, a few dark strands of hair falling in front of his eyes. Flicking the long hair back he gave Darrien's hand a gentle tug, "Lead the way. I don't know any good restaurants around here so it's gonna be up to you." <br><br>Not that he minded.<br><br>His heart was still fluttering, and it was...pleasant. Even though he didn't quite feel like he could breathe properly. That said, he wanted nothing more than the spend the rest of the day with Darrien. Maybe even longer than the rest of the day. His life. Yeah, that would be nice.<br><br>No.<br><br>No, no, no. Falling in love was bad. It got boys like him killed or raped or drugged up or worse. Sometimes they just...disappeared. He knew that Darrien wouldn't do that, but...no. Plus, he couldn't bring his problems onto Darrien. Darrien deserved someone better than him.<br><br>He would just...enjoy it for now. Do his best not to hurt Darrien if something ever arose. He would love Darrien&nbsp; for now, and if he ever had to, would solve any problems later.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>03-11-2009, 18:34:13</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				There was a strong feeling of relief. Part of him always thought that showing weakness would mean people laughing in your face and exploiting the vulnerability. He had never imagined it could be as simple as the soft affirming squeeze of another’s hand.<br><br>Darrien didn’t want anywhere too flashy or ostentatious, just a good restaurant that that offered fine food and discrete, unfussy service. Oscar’s was exactly such a place and Darrien’s eatery of choice with press-shy interviewees who wished to remain anonymous. Keeping the hold on Robbie’s hand they walked two blocks down the street.<br><br>Dark wooden paneled walls covered with memorabilia greeted them. Tables were laid impeccably with crisp, white fresh linen, whilst slightly scruffy looking diners carried on hushed conversations.<br><br>“It probably sounds like a contradiction but this is the discrete hack’s restaurant. It has great food and they don’t care if all you want to do is spend three hours chatting over a dessert.”<br><br>The Maitre D’ recognized Darrien immediately and smiling, ushered them into a small booth&nbsp; next to the window overlooking Central Park.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>06-11-2009, 03:19:39</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie trailed after Darrien, smiling faintly as he was set down at the table by the waiter, peering over the menu. "Seems really nice," Robbie said, a little bit uncomfortable. He didn't unfold the linen napkin and place it in his lap; he didn't know how to do that, it had never been taught to him. He merely splayed his fingers on the table and looked around him, wondering what all the people around them were talking about. He was very self-conscious. He didn't really feel like he fit in here. <br><br>Nice as it was, after their shopping trip, he was painfully aware of how reliant he was on Darrien's kindness. It wasn't that he doubted Darrien helping him - it was that he doubted he would be able to give anything useful back to his lover. <br><br>"What're you getting?"<br><br>Robbie's eyes traced over the menu, but he already saw what he wanted - a high end hamburger, handcut fries, and ketchup. Then he remembered that Darrien wanted to have a nicer meal, and he licked his lips, looking over it once more. Maybe...maybe the salmon. He'd never actually had good quality salmon. Here, though, it was probably safe to eat. He smiled faintly and looked at the menu. He needed to stop being so insecure about all of this. He'd get the salmon, embrace this new life, and just enjoy things.<br><br>Things were going well - now wasn't the time to question things.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>09-11-2009, 00:33:08</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Almost as soon as they sat down Darrien wondered whether bringing Robbie here had been a mistake. The young man looked ill at ease and uncomfortable in the setting. He had forgotten that what would seem comfortable for him wouldn’t be comfortable for an ex-prostitute who had never eaten in anywhere more up market than a roadside café. He was an idiot.<br><br>Leaving right now would look even worse and highlight the fact that he had realized that Robbie perhaps didn’t want to be here.<br><br>Trust him to fuck up what was looking to be a really good day.<br><br>He had one last chance to recover. He looked at the array of cutlery, silverware and linen in front of them and placed most of them aside, only leaving a knife and fork at either side of his place setting and laying the crisp white square of cloth on his lap. It was time to tell his hideously embarrassing White House story that he had many years covering up from his colleagues.<br><br>“You know,” he said in a grumbling tone picking up a fish knife that he had always thought looked like a spoon, “I’m always convinced they put so much cutlery around to create jobs for dishwashers. I once went to one of these Presidential dinners at the White House when I was fresh out of the army. I was late and by the time I got there everyone else had sat down, so I rushed in, really embarrassed to where I was supposed to sit. There were six sets of cutlery and frankly there wasn’t room on the table for anything. I didn’t look where I put my elbow, which happened to be on the handle of a knife really hard. It bounced backwards breaking the wine glass of the man next to me, spilling his red wine over the two of us. I still can’t look at silverware without shuddering.”<br><br>It was true, whenever he thought about it, it still mortified him.<br><br>“Anyway, enough of my incompetence. What will you have? The burger is great, so are the shrimps and the salmon’s pretty decent too.”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>10-11-2009, 21:39:59</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie pushed his cutlery aside as well, copying what Darrien did. It made him feel quite good to see that Darrien had noticed his discomfort and was trying to make him feel better. He felt even better when he heard the&nbsp; story, laughing softly. He couldn't help but grin, showing that mouthful of white teeth. His hair had become more glossy, his skin more luminescent, now that he wasn't shooting up. It felt strange to have his whole body running on real energy, not drugs. And to be awake during the day. He no longer had to stay awake all night in order to service clients. <br><br>Still grinning, he turned to Darrien. "That's <em>so</em> embarrassing! I couldn't imagine having that happen to me..." he turned pale eyes back to the menu, worrying his bottom lip. He read rather slowly. By no means was he illiterate, it had just been a lont time since he'd actually had to read, well...anything.<br><br>His smile widened to glowing proportions when told that the burger was great.<br><br>Maybe it really would be okay if he got the burger. Deciding upon that, he set his menu to the side and folded one long leg over the other. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips - the jeans were softer than he'd ever felt, and fit him much better. There was no uncomfortable rubbing or tugging, just the smooth pressure of perfectly fitted fabric. <br><br>"This is going to be the best day ever. And then I can squeeze into those jeans and give you the best night ever, too. God, that's so cheesy," Robbie said, laughing, running his fingers back through his hair. <br><br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>11-11-2009, 15:17:12</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Darrien leant forward smiling and said softly so that only Robbie could hear, “There’s nothing wrong with cheesy and if you could see what the image behind words has done to me, then you’d probably agree. I’m really looking forward to it.” <br><br>He sat back grinning, imagining the those trousers on the slim, lean hips. The Darrien, of old, assuming he had even managed to get this far, would have demanded they go back, stripped Robbie and had sex there and then. Something though, told him that this was different. More to the point he wanted it to be different. He didn’t want Robbie to be beholden to him. He wanted Robbie to be there because he wanted to, not because he felt he owed Darrien. That was a lot of “wants” though.<br><br>The Maitre D’ eventually came to take their order. Darrien could see he was desperate to ask who Robbie was, since the journalist’s usual guests were publicity-shy politicians and UN officials. Eventually, Darrien took pity on the other man and introduced Robbie to him by name, his hand lingering on the young man’s arm slightly longer than strictly necessary. <br><br>“Robbie, this is Michael D’Angelo, who knows more than most about the gossip in New York but is sadly far too discreet to reveal any of it.”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>17-11-2009, 22:23:47</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie grinned, that crooked smile coming to his face, showing that he truly was happy. He didn't have to worry about school quite yet. He was going to have to worry about catching up on schoolwork and everything else, but for now, he was fine. He just had to relax for today, and then tonight...well, tonight was going to be a sort of fun that he was intimately familiar with. <br><br>Robbie ordered a burger, handing over his menu as politely as he could, looking back to Robbie. He smiled faintly, seeing how curious the other man was to know who he was.<br><br>"Nice to meet you," he said, ducking his head politely.<br><br>He grinned, turning to Darrien. He certainly wasn't a politician or an official of any sort. He was clearly too young to be either of those things, and with that lush head of hair and the perfectly symmetrical face and guarded eyes, he seemed to be something even more skittish and potentially more standoffish. <br><br>"This is a really nice restaurant," he said softly, doing his best to be polite and pleasant.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>19-11-2009, 12:19:10</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Darrien, feeling in a decadent mood, also went for the hamburger, whilst trying to keep the amusement that he felt at the man’s confusion from showing too much on his face. He’d never been here with any of his one night stands, so Michael hadn’t been exposed to that side of his life, he’d only every seen the workaholic, professional side.<br><br>After ordering, they were finally left alone once more and Darrien took the opportunity to lean across the table and whisper into Robbie’s ear, “I could start up a rumour that you’re an upcoming pop star or some super-model…what do you think?” There was a rare mischievous glint in the older man’s eyes and an easy smile.<br><br>The rest of the lunch went smoothly, the food was good and the service discrete, but Darrien couldn’t help feeling that Robbie wasn’t entirely comfortable here. He admonished himself; it was probably too much, too soon.<br><br>As they drunk the last dregs of their coffees, Darrien looked out over Central Park and noticed the winter sun was about to start its descent in the icy sky and dip below the bare trees.<br><br>“Are you ready for the carriage ride, it’s getting close to sunset.”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>23-11-2009, 04:56:35</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie grinned, resting his hand on his chin, "That'd be hilarious. Not that it'd work, though. I don't look like I'd fit the bill." Robbie was relatively unaware of his looks. He knew how to use his body to tempt men in ways that most whores couldn't even do, but he didn't really understand the full extent of his looks, the innocence that still clung, if a bit shredded, to him. <br><br>He enjoyed himself, slowly getting used to the idea of living a life like this. It would take time to fully settle into this. He still was wary, scared that it was all about to be ripped out from under his feet, that he wasn't actually going to be able to live like this. <br><br>"Great..." <br><br>He looked out, a grin touching his lips, letting Darrien pay. Walking towards Central Park, he reached out, hand warm, the other tucked in his pocket. Dry, long fingers wrapped around his, cool fingertips touching Darrien's palm. <br><br>"That one!" Robbie said, grinning. It was a large open black carriage with a magnificent if dirty-hoofed horse stamping and snorting in front of it. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>23-11-2009, 20:06:34</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“I like your choice.”<br><br>Robbie’s enthusiasm was, as always, highly infectious.<br><br>Darrien briefly negotiated with the owner and then before he knew it, he was tucked up underneath several blankets and a fleece into the carriage. Snuggle and cuddle were not words in the journalist’s vocabulary, but he was struggling to find alternatives to describe his present state with Robbie. He turned the problem in his mind, finding it difficult to admit that he was indulging in very un-Darrien-like behaviour, before giving up trying to find a label for it. Whatever it was, it was nice.<br><br>“I just wanted to say that I’m enjoying this,” Darrien whispered quietly, almost worried that if he said it out loud, somebody might come and snatch the moment away from him.<br><br>The sunset was just as romantic as he had hoped, as the fiery, orange orb slowly slipped below the bare trees, leaving frosty air and a palette of umber, orange, crimson and finally violet hues in its wake. <br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>25-11-2009, 05:26:11</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie grinned, more than pleased to be tucked up in this carriage, holding onto him and smiling. He snuggled down into the blankets, then manuvered himself so that he was pressed against Darrien's side with his hand in his lover's, beaming. His teeth gleamed, that crooked smile gracing a lovely, pale face. He was more happy than he ever had been before. <br><br>"This is wonderful," he said quietly, dark hair falling in front of his face with the wind, immediately getting whipped back. He watched the sunset silently, feeling his chest tighten progressively until he had to look away or he would cry.<br><br>The smear of color was the most glorious thing he'd ever seen.<br><br>He used to see sunsets like that, but he couldn't remember a time that he'd been more happy, felt more whole. Maybe, with some work, he'd actually be able to make this work with Darrien.<br><br>He reached up, then, giving him a soft kiss. <br><br>"Thank you." <br><br>For everything. He didn't need to say it, but his eyes showed it, and he let out a soft, embarrassed chuckle at the tears that welled but he scrubbed away with his hands. Someone had really come and saved him like he had always prayed would happen.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>25-11-2009, 19:10:03</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				The tears seemed to embarrass the younger man so Darrien wasn’t going to make a big deal of it either. All he did was to respond to the kiss then rested his head gently on Robbie’s, whilst giving the cold hand in his a gentle squeeze. He wanted to say a lot of things but for now the physical action would have to suffice, he hadn’t got to the stage where saying personal things came naturally.<br><br>The journalist wasn’t a dreamer by nature, hadn’t been since his late teens, just as he reckoned Robbie wasn’t, but there was no point in ruining the day by bringing up difficult things. Tomorrow and reality would come soon enough but for now he was content to pretend that they could both live in a perfect world where nothing bad happened.<br><br>The gentle up and down motion of the carriage was soothing and there was nothing except for the distant cries of people on the ice rink, the hum of the city around them and rhythmically clip-clop of the hooves on the path. It was unbelievably soothing.<br><br>“You know, this reminds me of that fifties film where Fred Astaire and Cyd Charisse danced across Central Park.” He looked a little wistfully across the frozen grass and then smiled back at Robbie. “Now you know all my dirty secrets…I like fifties musicals.” <br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>28-11-2009, 23:27:43</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie like that the other man didn't question, didn't doubt, didn't make him feel bad for anything. He just took care of Robbie without pushing him and that was what he liked. He felt so much better when he was with Darrien than he did any other time, and he ran his fingers back through his hair, sighing softly. Now that he'd scrubbed his tears away he felt a bit better, a bit more comfortable. <br><br>"I'm sure there are more things I'll be able to find out about you," Robbie whispered, pressing a soft kiss to Darrien's cheek. He wished that the carriage ride didn't have to end and that they'd never have to leave, but he knew that they did. Sighing, he watched the carriage pull back around to where they had started from, and he sighed.<br><br>He didn't get out for a second but then pushed the blankets away and got down gingerly.<br><br>His ankle seemed to be fine and he looked up at Darrien, smiling faintly, "Wanna head back to your apartment? I can try on those jeans and see how they fit. You can even help me take then off." <br><br>The last sentence was just barely a whisper along the edge of Darrien's ear, following a wicked little flick of tongue and those little teeth nipping at Darrien's earlobe as he got out of the carriage as well. <br><br>Oh, he wanted to tease Darrien. He wanted to tease him, andf orget about the fact that soon, they were going to have to go to Louisiana and see his family for the first time in years.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>01-12-2009, 19:26:15</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“Is that a challenge?” Darrien teased quietly despite the intensity of his gaze, in response Robbie promising to find out more about him. Despite the short and whirlwind acquaintance, the younger man probably knew more about him than all his acquaintances and family put together. The fact was none of them wanted to know meant that Darrien had built up his own defensive barriers over the years so that he wouldn’t let any of them in.<br><br>After heavily tipping the ‘driver’, the journalist jumped down from the carriage after Robbie. Although he showed it less than the younger man, he too had a moment of wistful regret as the ride came to an end.<br><br>The whisper in his ear and the offer of removing those jeans further deepened his gaze, making his eyes look more green than hazel. The lick and bite on the earlobe combined with the words to create an answering movement in his trousers.<br><br>God he was aroused.<br><br>Checking to see if the carriage was gone, he lowered his head and answered Robbie in the only way he knew how, as his lips firmly attached itself on the younger man’s and his tongue plundered Robbie’s mouth in a deep passionate kiss.<br><br>When he finally broke off, he made sure that he looked at the features in front of him in the dying light, noting how the final rays of the sun accentuated the lines of his face. Darrien realized that he hadn’t really wanted anyone as much this since Chris and the slightly bizarre prude in him remembered that he certainly had never brought back anyone back to his apartment, his sanctum. <br><br>“We’d better get back then,” Darrien replied, only reluctantly letting go of Robbie, “otherwise I might not make it…” His voice was low and gruff with longing.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>03-12-2009, 15:51:51</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie could tell that Darrien wanted him, and he liked the idea of making Darrien pant and scream his name. He wanted Darrien to take him. He hailed them a cab quickly, pushing Darrien into the cab ahead of him, telling the address to the driver. He kissed him hard, running his hand along his thigh. The ride was short but full of a heated tension between them, one that they couldn't act on because of the public nature of where they were. <br><br>"God..." he whispered, nibbling along Darrien's neck when the driver looked away. He stayed curled up in his arms, cuddling against him, moving his body against Darrien. He practically bolted out of the cab when they got to the apartment, letting Darrien pay.<br><br>He used his key to let them in and he moved into the apartment as quickly as he could.<br><br>"I'll be right out," he said, picking up a shopping bag, disappearing into the bathroom. He shucked his clothes, and without any underwear, slipped into the jeans. He used a pair of scissors to add some more rips, making the jeans entirely indecent, showing far too much thigh to be considered appropriate. They clung to him in the best (or worst) way, and with his hair still mussed and lips flushed, he sauntered out, leaning against the wall, looking up at Darrien. "So? What do you think?"
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>08-12-2009, 17:22:36</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Turning down the dimmer switch, Darrien created what he hoped was romantic lighting. He had found a few stray candles in the kitchen and quickly lit and placed them around the living space before turning down the light one further notch. Then, getting out his favourite CD, he set Van Morrison to sing in the background.<br><br>Finally he sat on the new couch in his tight black t-shirt and jeans, waiting for Robbie.<br><br>And then…<br><br>Shit, he looked hot.<br><br>“You look gorgeous.”<br><br>Darrien got up and drew Robbie to him, kissing him hard on those flushed lips whilst his right hand explored one of the rips in the denim. He remembered their first night, but this time there was more than lust. A month ago, he had been totally mesmerized at the same sight, and whilst his physical response was still the same, he enjoyed the fact that there was a person under the clothes that he actually cared about.<br><br>Van Morrison crooned his “Moon dance” softly in the background and Darrien smiled. The words, now that he actually listened to them, were strangely apt. <br><br>He finally let up on the kiss and just took a minute to look at the younger man.<br><br>“So you have any specific plans?” Darrien asked teasingly “Or are you happy to improvise?”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>08-12-2009, 22:28:43</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie let out a soft moan as he was drawn to Darrien's body and he felt his lover's hand exploring the rips in teh denim. "Anything you want," he mumbled, perfectly happy to give himself over, "Whatever you wanna do." Arching slightly, running his fingers back through his hair to get it out of his face, he pressed up close. Already, he was getting hard, straining the tight fabric of the jeans. <br><br>He moaned again, letting his hand grace Darrien's, guiding it to the higher rips, the ones near the crease of his thigh, the swell of his backside, framed in those tight, tight jeans.<br><br>"I want to feel you," he whispered softly.<br><br>He smiled faintly, "I want to feel you in me. I've wanted it for so long, and we've never...I want you," he murmured, softly, rubbing his body against his lover's. <br><br>[Guh. Bad post, sory.]
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>09-12-2009, 17:28:20</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				He was painfully hard already and the friction was making it worse, but didn’t want a quick fuck. He wanted something more. He just wasn’t sure he had the control to hold out that long.<br><br>“I want what you want,” he said in low husky voice, “but I do want to explore every of inch you, every erogenous zone, slowly…I want you hard and leaking…I want to suck you from your nipples to your cock, until you can’t take it anymore and then…only then…am I gonna take you…”<br><br>As he spoke, he put a number of objects on the table, punctuating each need with an item, a tube of lube, condom and a cock ring. The latter was not something he usually used but he knew he wasn’t going to last long without it.<br><br>Darrien smiled as his hands did more exploring.<br><br>He kneaded the firm buttocks and then, slowly, sensually ran his finger down crease between the two mounds of flesh as his mouth and tongue plundered Robbie’s once more. His heart was hammering in his chest and despite the chill, his own skin felt flushed. Wondering how long it had been that he’d truly been this aroused, he eventually let go of the kiss.<br><br>&nbsp;“So how does that sound?” He asked his own voice sounding breathless, as if he had increased the length of his morning run.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>09-12-2009, 19:35:44</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Breathless.<br><br>That was the only way that he could describe the way everything fled from him - all of his senses, his good decisions, his very breath. He clung to Darrien, a tiny whimper managing to slip past clenched lips, leaking out and revealing his desire. He wanted to hide his desire but he was unable to, and he writhed against his older lover, pressing an aching hardness between them, silently begging for attention. <br><br>His eyes drifted to the table, seeing the items there, a full-body shiver running down his spine.<br><br>"God..." he whimpered, "God, I..." he tore into the kiss, submitting under Darrien, winding slim arms around his neck, "That sounds so...so good..." he licked along Darrien's neck, tracing the line with his teeth. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>15-12-2009, 14:20:24</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Closing his eyes for a moment, he just allowed himself to feel. Nothing more, then he bowed his head and scraped his teeth slowly along the edge of the vein in Robbie’s neck, effectively mirroring what the younger man had done before. He took in the other man’s scent, stringing out every moment of contact as if it was going to be their last. His hands worked their way under the young man’s top as he nuzzled, his fingers massaging, blunt nails drawing imaginary lines on the smooth skin underneath.<br><br>Finally, one hand emerged and fingers teasingly undid the buttons, lingering over each circle until even his own patience started to fray. At last, he pushed the fabric over Robbie’s shoulders, making sure there was maximum contact as the fabric whispered across the skin before pooling in an untidy heap on the leather of the sofa. Darrien’s own t-shirt was deposited with considerably less aplomb on the wooden floor.<br><br>Lowering Robbie’s body on the couch, he bent over him smiling, his knee strategically placed between the other man’s legs as a lock of dark hair spilt over his face. His breaths were coming quicker now and despite cool air, a slight sheen of perspiration started to show on the toned chest.<br><br>Then his posture was bowed once more, like a worshipper, as his mouth bit, sucked and licked its way across a pale smooth landscape. One hand was braced on the sofa, the other was exploring the myriad of cuts in the denim before outlining the shape of the erection underneath.<br><br>“Bedroom?” <br><br>The voice sounded husky, overlaid with a touch of uncertainty.<br><br><em>[I'm back in the land of the living...]</em>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>18-12-2009, 05:45:48</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie's head fell back as it possibly could, body quivering in response to the teeth on his neck. He was trembling by the time that his shirt had been pulled off, reaching forwards to run his fingers up the other man's torso. God. This felt so...it felt so <em>good</em>. He'd never actually wanted someone like this before and it stole his breath away as he felt a knee press between his legs. <br><br>"Yes," he gasped as he felt the teeth exploring his neck and chest then. "Bedroom...oh, God, bedroom..." his hips bucked into the hand exploring his skin under the ripped denim and then his bulging erection straining the fabric.<br><br>"I can't..." he whispered, "I can't breathe when you do that...it feels so..." <br><br>His head raised up, eyes blazing, pushing Darrien back slowly towards the bedroom, his mouth moving to his shoulder and leaving little bites here and there. <br><br>In the bedroom, he turned around, pulling Darrien towards him until his own knees hit the bed and he scooted back, pulling Darrien atop him, panting softly and letting out soft little sounds of pure need. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>22-12-2009, 12:01:20</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				He couldn’t stop himself moaning as he found himself being dragged on to the bed on top of Robbie’s half naked form.<br><br>It was a world away from the brothel and the last time they been in bed together for pure sex. The contrast with their previous encounter was marked. That time had been framed by the crimson sheets of Robbie’s room that highlighted the scars, the broken jaw and memories of another boy. <br><br>This time, as they lay on the patchwork shaker quilt, it was different. Darrien wanted it to be different. The photograph of Chris was now in his study – it was unfair to keep it there, even though Darrien’s thoughts did wander there from time to time and his conscience still weighed heavily on him from time to time. Anyway, now wasn’t the time to be morose.<br><br>Darrien looked at Robbie again intensely.<br><br>“God you look amazing...,” he said before softly kissing the other man on the lips and languorously sliding his tongue down Robbie’s chin, across his neck and chest leaving a wet trail until he reached the waistband of the trousers.<br><br>“I’ve always wanted to do this...,” he added with a mischievous glint. So he dipped his head once more and as his hair grazed the pale skin of Robbie’s torso, he aligned his mouth so that it was over the zipper, then in one fluid movement he pulled it open before slowly taking off the rest of the garment.<br><br>Finally, pleased with his handiwork, flushed, hair dishevelled he lounged next to the younger man, admiring the naked body next to his.<br><br>“I think I’m over dressed,” he said quietly.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>26-12-2009, 10:04:56</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie didn't want Darrien to move away from him. He wanted him on him, moving, taking him. He let out a soft moan, arching when he felt that tongue gliding along his neck and down to right above his waistband. He whimpered, a near-silent beg for the other man to not stop doing what he was doing, lifting his hips so that the jeans could be pulled off of him. He panted softly, watching Darrien.<br><br>His eyes were hungry, gripping at the quilts. The last thing that he wanted to do was move away, but he had to for just a moment, allowing Darrien to take his clothes off.<br><br>"Yes. Yes, way too overdressed..." <br><br>He yanked at Darrien's pants, then, tugging them off. He wanted them both naked.<br><br>The second that he got as much skin as he wanted revealed, he pressed his body against Darrien's. His small frame undulated, and just from those movements, it was clear that he was a whore. He was a bit self conscious about not being virginal, about having been used by other men before, but he couldn't deny the fact that he wanted to make Darrien feel good.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>30-12-2009, 02:21:43</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“That…is…amazing…”<br><br>Darrien was panting, fingers gripping the leather strap of the cock ring.<br><br>“…but…if you…continue…fuck…I’m not…going to…last….”<br><br>With difficulty and more than a little regret and willpower he gently untangled himself.<br><br>“Give me a moment….”<br><br>He’d thankfully opted for something simple. There was no way he was going to get something more complex on and finally despite his fumbling fingers, the half leather-metal hoop slid on to his lubed, slick cock.<br><br>Finally, he took his place next to Robbie once more and said softly, “I’m a very lucky man.”<br><br>He meant it. Robbie was gorgeous.<br><br>With that said, he moved further down the bed clothes and wrapped his mouth around the young man’s erection and slowly sucked, before coming up self-consciously, slightly teasing, “Like that? Or shall I stop?”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>31-12-2009, 15:35:39</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Darrien's panting made Robbie grin, stretching over the corner of his mouth, laughing softly. He had that crooked little smile on and was absolutely pleased to be there underneath his lover, writhing. He held on tightly to him, letting out a soft sound when he pulled off of him to go and arrange the cock ring. He let out a little moan and shut his eyes. <br><br>He couldn't continue just watching Darrien unless he was touching him. He wanted more, more of that. He held on tightly the second that Darrien was back and licked along his neck, smiling shyly, a sudden change, when told that Darrien was lucky. <br><br>"Thanks..." <br><br>He mumbled it, then lay back and watched Darrien descending down his body, taking his length into his mouth. He arched and then cried out, "Oh," he whimpered, "Oh, God. Darrien...damnit, Darrien, don't stop, I can't..." He couldn't think, or breathe, or do anything, really. It was so good to have someoen moving on his body like this, touching him, taking him. He didn't want to stop.<br><br>Best of all, there was no time limit, no bottom rate being charged. <br><br>"Ah...keep doing that, please..."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>04-01-2010, 13:51:29</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Texture, taste and heat. That’s what Darrien had always enjoyed about giving head, a skill that he had honed in the army of all places. He was a little out of practise but hoped that what he may slightly lack due to rusty technique, he was making up through enthusiasm.<br><br>He started slowly, teasing his way around the head, gently swirling his tongue around it, switching between licking and sucking and then he began to work his way down. The slight taste of salt and musky sweat filled his mouth before he felt the slippery texture of Robbie’s pre-cum.<br><br>He loved the noises the younger man was making, writhing under him and the pressure of his own need from the ring around his penis. Every move resulted in his own erection rubbing on Robbie’s thigh so that it was glistening from the juices that were beginning to cover it and he started to imagine what it would be like to be encased in the tight heat of Robbie’s arse.<br><br>God he’d missed this. <br><br>It was the simple enjoyment of exploring an attractive man’s body, because he wanted to, not because he was in yet another city and feeling alone. Part of him wondered what it would feel like being the one spread lasciviously on the bed, being pleasured. It had always been the other way round with him, even if he had bothered with the preliminaries, his usual goal was quick release. Perhaps it was to do with the constant need to be in control and the belated acceptance of his own sexuality.<br><br>Whatever it was, it was a crap time for philosophising and he shut the thoughts away from his mind.<br><br>Darrien was straddling Robbie now, head completely bent over the younger man’s hips, mouth engorged with his length as he took in more and more of it, dark hair spilling over, creating a short curtain partially obscuring their activities. He was deep-throating him now, but with slow and deliberate strokes so that he wouldn’t come just yet. He had other plans. <br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>05-01-2010, 05:15:45</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie couldn't take it. He couldn't take much more of it, anyways. It felt incredible - it wasn't like having one of the other boys from the brothel going down on him, but it was actually better <em>because</em> it wasn't flawless and practiced. This was the perfect distraction from everything - better than drugs, better than paid sex - because Darrien actually wanted him. Darrien actually wanted him to be here, beneath him, and more than anything it felt so good to know that someone in the world actually cared what happened to him. His breath was coming in the tiniest little gasps, quick and soft, digging his fingers into the bedding so hard he was worried it might rip. <br><br>He shifted his thigh slightly and let it rub against his lover's erection, spreading his lips even farther to let out a louder cry that showed Darrien just how much he wanted him. <br><br>"Darrien, I can't..." <br><br>He whimpered, "I can't wait, I need you...I'm gonna cum, if you keep up with this..." he could feel the need radiating up and down his spine, making his whole body shiver in the very worst way. Or best way. Either way it went, he didn't want it to stop. The deep-throating was going to drive him mad. He let out a shout, just barely managing to stave off that edge of orgasm, whimpering softly. "Please..." <br><br>His brilliant green eyes gleamed through his hair, and his hips and body moved in a way that was decidedly dirty, in a way that wasn't at all innocent. He'd been doing this his whole life, and even though he was letting himself go, totally giving himself over to his lover, the movements had become so routine that he looked as though he were putting on a show, cheeks flushed and lips parted.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>05-01-2010, 14:41:06</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				With a final flourish and a lick he removed his mouth from Robbie’s cock and then moved up the bed to give the younger man a deep kiss, sharing his own taste with him in the process. He loved how vocal Robbie was, how he squirmed on the bed, looking like a fallen angel. He didn’t like innocence, not in the way that most people defined it anyway. He knew the movements he saw now had been seen by other men, but Darrien also realised that this time everything was just purely for him. He liked Robbie just the way he was.<br><br>Finally, he came away from the kiss and began to lube his fingers. He lifted the younger man’s legs to his chest and inserted the first digit slowly, smiling at Robbie as he did so.<br><br>“I can’t have you cumming before this now, can I?” he asked huskily.<br><br>He knew that in truth Robbie probably didn’t need as much preparation but Darrien wanted this to be perfect.<br><br>A second finger joined the first as he started scissoring the entrance.<br><br>“You are so hot...”<br><br>The pressure in his own cock was mounting as he watched his fingers in action, imaging himself pumping in and out and then he knew he couldn’t wait any longer. Even his own touch now reminded Darrien how close he was.<br><br>He rolled the condom on and lubed himself again. He knew Robbie was clean from the time in hospital but...<br><br>“I haven’t been tested for six months, so I’m doing this because of me, not you...” he didn’t want there to be any misunderstanding and then facing Robbie he slowly, deliciously, entered his tight hole.<br><br>Fuck this was good.<br><br>Encased, he waited for Robbie to adjust.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>18-01-2010, 04:35:33</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				He couldn't take it. He couldn't take much more of this. It felt <em>so</em> good, and so unlike paid sex that the two weren't even comparable. His movements weren't innocent by any means, but they were just for Darrien, those pale eyes smoldering under their thick fringe of lashes. <br><br>He arched, bending his legs a bit&nbsp; more, whimpering at the added fingers. <br><br>"God..." <br><br>He licked his lover's shoulder briefly. <br><br>He hadn't even noticed the condom, but he looked down, immediately a bit relieved by it. "You don't need to use it, but..." he murmured, "Thank you," and then his lover sank into his body and tore a harsh, raspy cry of delight from his well-used throat. <br><br>"So good," he gasped, shutting his eyes and rocked his hips back, "Don't wait, don't wait, just take me..." he panted, reaching up for his lover's lips, moaning into their kiss. He was spread out upon the bed, biting his bottom lip, writhing and tightening all of his muscles around the other man's member.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>18-01-2010, 14:49:21</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Lost in thousands of sensations, the texture of the wet tongue on a sensitive spot, the tight, warm wetness around him, Darrien surrendered, grateful for the tacit permission in the words.<br><br>He withdrew and then pushed back in again, initially slowly and then harder and faster, whilst his tongue mirrored his actions down below as he plundered Robbie’s mouth. He wanted to moan and cry with the pleasure he was feeling, but years of conditioning had left him silent in throes of pleasure save for a hiss or a quiet, controlled gasp.<br><br>Grasping the lithe body under him, he retained just enough control to stroke the younger man’s erection as he pressed himself in and felt the incredible sensation of the muscles contracting around him. <br><br>He stopped his exploration of the young man’s mouth, instead he bit his lower lip to stop the cry that was about to escape, just like his younger lover had done moments before. He felt the pressure build. He thrust for a few moments more before the aching pleasure reached the base of his spine and then...<br><br>A slight coppery taste on his tongue was the first thing he sensed as he slowly recovered. He lay slumped on the younger man breathing quickly.<br><br>“Sorry,” he mumbled realising his whole weight was on Robbie and then as he withdrew slowly extricated his limbs he stroked the dark luxuriant hair of the man under him. “That was incredible,” he whispered.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>27-01-2010, 02:59:11</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie let out a sweet cry as Darrien picked up speed, pushing him into the covers, making him moan. He could barely take the building pressure and shut his eyes, fingers digging into Darrien's shoulders, surrendering his mouth to Darrien. It felt so good, so right, to have Darrien percched over him. He was lewd in bed, writhing over the sheets like he'd been trained to do, how he'd been taught men liked. It was all for Darrien, though, the sweet pants and soft little sounds that were half-concealed underneath his breath. <br><br><br>Darrien's name mixed in with all of it, a heady mixture of lust that managed to escape when they broke for breath. He tightened all of his musclces around the other man like a vice, wanting to pull that orgasm out of him, make Darrien remember him and only him. <br><br>If he had his way, Darrien would never look at anyone again.<br><br>He was terrified that if he lost Darrien, he'd lose the only tie he had to this world, this world of privilege and smarts of a sort he didn't understand. <br><br>His orgasm crashed over him, slamming into him like a tidal wave, and he came, clenching tightly around the other man and feeling Darrien's whole body tense above his own. <br><br>"God," he panted softly, turning to bury his head in Darrien's shoulder when he rolled off. He moved so that they were curled together, his body halfway pillowed on top of Darrien's. "It really was. I never knew sex could feel like that," he said softly before shutting his pale green eyes to try and regulate his unsteady breathing. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>31-01-2010, 20:38:47</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“Neither did I …,” he acknowledged softly as he wrapped his arm around the body that was partly on his.<br><br>A feeling of quiet contentment filled him as he realised how different this was to his fucking sessions in anonymous brothels or hotel rooms. The sex was amazing, but the feeling of companionship was better.<br><br>It was a moment of bitter-sweet recognition that came as a slight shock. It had only been a month ago when he had still been shagging his way around anyone who was aesthetically pleasing and willing and now he seemed to be cautiously planning his personal life at least a couple of months into the future.<br><br>By most people’s standards that would still be fairly short-term, but to Darrien, this was about as close as he had ever got to any form of commitment. It was, if he were being honest, slightly alarming, but it was a type of fear he was willing to deal with, especially if the payback felt so good.<br><br>Darrien wondered briefly and guiltily that if he’d started to figure this out in his teens whether Chris would be dead. He didn’t know but didn’t want to ruin the moment by his habitual masochistic tendencies. This really wasn’t the time.<br><br>"You know, we never did have that shower together..."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>09-02-2010, 03:26:58</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie let out a slow breath, breathing starting to come back to normal when he shut his eyes. He hadn't done anything like that in years. He hadn't actually stopped and been held for a long time, at least, not by someone he wanted holding him. He laughed breathlessly when told that they'd never had their shower together and nodded.<br><br>"Yeah, let's do that." <br><br>He sat up slowly, running his fingers back through his hair, the silvery winter light from the window lighting on a few silvery scars on his back, thin and near his shoulderblades, crisscrossing in thin lines. They had clearly been made by something sharp, not too long ago, but they were fully healed. He stretched, bringing his hands together above his head. <br><br>"Let's shower." <br><br>He reached out, took Darrien's hand, and tugged him towards the bathroom. He started up the water and stepped under it, letting it trickle down his spine and the backs of his legs, letting out a content sigh. "I can't wait to go to Paris," he said, smiling. Thinking of anything but the fact that they'd have to go home to get his birth certificate tomorrow.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>12-02-2010, 13:25:25</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				The large shower head cascaded warm water on the two bodies from above, pasting Darrien’s dark hair to his scalp as it washed over him, lending a shimmer to the scales of his dragon tattoo.<br><br>Darrien simply traced the lines of the scars that he’d just spotted on Robbie’s back, but didn’t ask about their origin. He would tell him when he wanted to, just like Darrien had talked about his own. For the moment though, he was just content to relax and let Robbie take the initiative, seeing what the young man felt like doing, even if it was nothing. He dropped his hand and leant against the wall of the generous shower cubicle, amusing himself by admiring Robbie’s glistening, lithe torso, his own body reacting to the erotic sight.<br><br>“I’m looking forward to showing Paris to you.” Darrien smiled and just like Robbie, he was studiously avoiding thinking that he’d have to tell work about Robbie. About him and Robbie together and his colleagues finding out that he was gay and that all those women were a front.<br><br>No, he wasn’t going to dwell on that just yet. One step at a time. They had Bienville to get through first and he knew tomorrow wasn’t going to be a walk in the park. If he wasn’t looking forward to meeting the young man’s sorry excuse for parents, then he hated to think what Robbie was feeling himself.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>13-02-2010, 02:02:08</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie leant into Darrien's chest, resting his head on his shoulder and letting out a soft breath, shoulders tensing briefly when he felt the other man's fingers tracing those scars and then stroking a bit farther. He let the water wash over them, smiling faintly as he thought of everything good that had happened tohim just in the last few days. It was unbelievable - strange, really. He couldn't imagine that he'd done something good, so why was he being offered all of these things? It was too good to be true but he wasn't going to question it just yet. <br><br>"What time are we leaving tomorrow?" Robbie finally asked it, stroking a slim hand down Darrien's soaked front. He could feel Darrien's fingers glide smoothly over the slickness of his skin as well as the faint criss-crossed scars that were almost so light as to be invisible. "Bad client. Liked bondage, and stuff. Knives." <br><br>Robbie shrugged, fingering the scars for a second, though they were barely noticeable. He didn't seem too worried by them, or particularly disturbed. "Well...not bad. Bad 'cause he never paid on time. But it actually felt kinda good." Robbie shrugged, flushing, then curled closer into Darrien's chest, "But I guess it's all different, now, huh? Things are...I mean, things've changed a whole bunch for me. I'm gonna be with you and I don't ever have to whore myself off again." It was as though it was slowly dawning on him that this was for real, that after they had had sex, that he was starting to realize that Darrien was the only person he'd ever have to sleep with, and even then, only if he wanted to. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>15-02-2010, 19:08:12</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“It’s 9:55 on Delta. Fairly civilised, but we’ll need to be there for 7 m...so breakfast at the airport? I promise it won’t be too bad, although it clearly won’t be a match on your cooking skills.”<br><br>Darrien smiled but then raised his eyebrows at Robbie’s explanation of his scars.<br><br>“Umm...I’ll take your word on the knives feeling good. My own experience was with razors and...well, it’s not something I’m too keen on getting a repeat performance on,” he said this quietly and shivered slightly. He’d thought that the “cutting thing” didn’t really bother him anymore, whe he had originally told Robbie about it, but it clearly still did, maybe it was because he hadn’t thought about it for a while. He had been spaced out of his mind at the time and he remembered the soreness and sensitivity the day after as the damaged skin had scraped against the rough cloth of his uniform. He’d bottomed for the staff sergeant, one of the last times he had done so and the man had tied him up, taking him roughly from behind, whilst drawing red lines with the blade on his back.<br><br>“Well some of it I enjoyed,” he felt the need to explain, “Like the tying up...” Darrien coloured slightly under the water as he spoke, not something the journalist usually did. He had never, ever expressed an interest in being tied up to any of his fuck buddies, but then again he had never been to great on trust. He wasn’t entirely sure whether he would let anyone do that to him again if he was totally sober. Therefore for somebody like Robbie to trust him, like the way he did, meant a huge amount, more than he could say.<br><br>“But yeah, things are different now...you will never have to do anything that you don’t want to.”<br><br>He held the younger man before kissing him and then he cleared his throat.<br><br>“What about getting out of this shower and having some food followed by an early night? I’ll cook.”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>17-02-2010, 06:05:06</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				"Tying up was too scary for me," he admitted, "I guess it's 'cause I didn't really trust my clients, though." Robbie shrugged and let the subject drop between the two of them. It was nice to have someone who had gone through something similar and who understood him. He ached for the drugs, though, to an extent that made him want to go mad even though he was clean now. <br><br>He nodded and slipped out of the shower after the kiss, "Mmm. Your cooking'll be nice." Robbie was excited - he never had anyone to cook for him and it was a pleasant change. He wrapped a towel around his waist but didn't really bother with clothes. <br><br>He was so comfortable in his own skin, though a bit thin, still. <br><br>He ran his hands down his stomach, yawned, and began toweling off his hair with a mechanical precision that assured that it wouldn't get too ruffled or disturbed. "Do you want me to make anything to go along with whatever you're cooking? Biscuits or salad or something?"\<br><br>[Guh. Sorry - not my best post. Midterms have been eating my brain.]
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>18-02-2010, 13:16:51</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“You mean you’re not too traumatised from the first time I cooked on your first night here? Or was it so bad that you’ve blanked it out of your mind already.”<br><br>Frankly, it hadn’t been his finest moment that night. He’d blown up at Robbie when he’d practically suggested sex in return for staying with him. In hindsight he could have handled it a lot better. <br><br>Darrien grinned at Robbie as he towelled his hair and reached out a hand mussing up the meticulous work the younger man had put in, making sure it as just so. It was just too tempting a target.<br><br>“Salad would be great...it’ll go well with the chilli.”<br><br>He exited the bathroom quickly, fearing retribution for the hair incident.<br><br>Cooking was relaxing. Darrien was wearing his old sweats that never saw light of day and a dark plaid shirt, with rolled up sleeves that he’d left only partially buttoned up. The trousers swung too low on his hips, so that his tattoo was partially visible and they were also too fitted around the butt to be suitable for jogging in. He wasn’t even entirely sure why he’d bought them, except for the extreme comfort level. Oh well...Robbie would just had to put up with him looking like a slob.<br><br>Humming gently to himself as Ella Fitzgerald crooned in the background, Darrien started preparing the mince, measuring out the fresh chilli, onion, garlic and dried herbs as he went along. His culinary techniques were more based on intuition and taste rather than a set recipe, rather unusual considering how particular he usually was about most other aspects of his life.<br><br><em>[No worries. Good luck with the Mid-terms.]</em>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>23-02-2010, 05:34:29</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie laughed softly, "The food was plenty good." He paused, though, remembering how he'd offered his body up, effectively, in return for rent. Darrien hadn't liked that offer too much and had gotten quite angry about it. Hopefully this dinner was going to go better than that last one. It had to, though. He couldn't think of any reason that it would go badly - afterall, they'd already had sex, and it had been incredible. It was <em>real</em> sex.<br><br>In Robbie's world, there was real sex and fake sex. Fake sex consisted of using his body to get what he wanted or as payment for some sort of debt. <em>Real</em> sex was sex where he cared about the person, like with Darrien, and it was mostly new to him. The most that he'd known about it before had been what he'd heard from others and what he'd had in his dreams. <br><br>He growled when his hair was mussed but smoothed it back and trailed into the kitchen. <br><br>He took a set of the other man's pajama pants, tying the cord around the waist, long legs encased in the soft fabric. "Mmm. Smells good." <br><br>He tossed some lettuce, onions, grapes, and a bit of cheese in with the salad and began whisking up a homemade vinigrette. <br><br>He couldn't help but think about the fact that they were going to Bienville, though, the next day. Why? Was it really so important that he go to school? "Hey...I mean, maybe I could get a fake ID and get a job or something. Y'know, work at a cafe, or somethin' legitimate. Not sex. Just..." he let out a soft breath, then, hair hiding most of his face as he thought of what it would be like to go home. To see his family, to see his mother - his stepfather - the sheriff, everyone, as they drove in. "I just...I don't wanna go back there."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>23-02-2010, 18:39:23</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Darrien raised a single eyebrow. It was a technique he used when interviewing and it usually had the desired effect of the interviewee backpedalling on what they’d said.<br><br>“Fake ID? You’ve got to be joking.”<br><br>He made sure there was no anger in his tone. <br><br>School and university had given him the focus to get through his family’s rejection. It meant that he had something to aim for, a goal to look forward to. Putting down the sharp knife he was chopping the onions with, he looked directly at Robbie. “Look I know you don’t want to go back, but I promise we won’t stay a minute longer than we absolutely have to and I’ll be there, I’m not going to leave you.”<br><br>Unlike another dark haired teenager, long ago, but he left that unsaid.<br><br>“I mean... would you really be happy working in some cafe as a waiter? Is that really a long-term plan?”<br><br>He let that last bit sink in, before putting his arms around the younger man. Being affectionate like this still felt weird, he had to remind himself that this was normal behaviour for most people.<br><br>“Anyway, you can’t travel with fake ID ...you know I don’t want to travel on my own. I want you to be with me during December...”<br><br>That was true. As much as he hated to admit it he would really miss Robbie. He was worried about how strongly he was beginning to feel this but without him it would just be like the usual shit Christmases on his own.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>24-02-2010, 06:10:27</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie sighed softly and he made sure that he focused on the salad, on chopping up various ingredients, mixing them. He didn't want to meet Darrien's eyes because he could already feel that tone coming through Darrien's voice. It was the tone that let him know Darrien was sympathetic but that he knew that the decision Robbie wanted to make was a stupid one. <br><br>"I know you won't leave, but..." <br><br>He shrugged and then tucked some hair behind his ear, chewing on his bottom lip. "I don't have a long-term plan. Until a few weeks ago I was hoping that I'd end up a kept boy. Things've...changed."<br><br>He shrugged slightly. <br><br>"You know that I'm only doing school because it's...I dunno, expected, since I'm here. I know it's a great chance and all, but...I dunno. I just...I feel like I'm gonna flunk out, and there's no way that it's gonna get me anywhere, but..."<br><br>He ran his fingers along the edge of the counter and seemed to sink into his lover's body, touched and helped by the physical contact. <br><br>Physical contact had always been the one constant in his job. When someone was new, they always ended up huddling near someone, cuddling up close to warm themselves to the fact that they were selling their bodies.<br><br>"I really wanna go to Paris, though..." he finally whispered. He finally shrugged, "Alright. I guess we can go. As long as it's as quick as possible and we just get it over with." <br><br>He picked up the salad bowl and set it on the table, "Alright. Fine, I'll go." He seemed to be calming himself, assuring himself that he'd go. "You need any help with the chili?"
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>25-02-2010, 18:41:18</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<br>“Robbie, until a few weeks ago, I had mostly had sex with women... things do change.”<br><br>Boy, did things change. Darrien was still slightly reeling from how different his life was just from one month ago. Not that he was complaining, it was just a lot to take in. He just needed to remind himself that it was just as weird for Robbie as it was for himself.<br><br>The physical contact was nice. That was a serious upside to the whole thing. Simple touches, hugs, kisses, stuff he wouldn’t usually be caught dead doing and yet, here he was enjoying the whole experience.<br><br>He lowered his head on to Robbie’s damp hair.<br><br>“It’s expected, but only because I want you to give yourself a chance. You’re only going to ‘flunk’, as you so eloquently put it, if you set yourself up for it...I mean, you’re bright and intelligent. Do you really want to waste all that and be in some dead-end job for the rest of your life?”<br><br>Darrien did have trouble understanding why someone didn’t want to educate themselves. It was a complete anathema to him, but then again, he was the guy who’d put up with several years in the army, which he definitely hadn’t enjoyed, just to pay for university.<br><br>However, at the end of the day he didn’t want to force Robbie to do something he absolutely hated.<br><br>“Look, try it out for a term, if you absolutely hate it, well we can take it from there...is that a reasonable compromise?”<br><br>Compromise? Now that was another word that had never been in his vocabulary.<br><br>He dipped a large wooden spoon into his chilli whilst contemplating this, all the time trying to maintain his body contact with the other man. He tasted it and then gave a fresh spoonful to Robbie.<br><br>“Do you think it needs more bite?”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>26-02-2010, 06:48:49</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie seemed to draw energy from his lover's arms around him and he cuddled up against him while quieting his breathing. "I know..." he breathed, though he sounded as though he was agreeing with Darrien just because he thought he should and not because he actually believed that he was going to do well in school. He had a sinking feeling about what school was going to be like; a quiet worry that someone he had worked for as a hooker would be there. He'd had so many clients - not necessarily for full blown sex but for blowjobs, or other weird little things. He leant back against Darrien and then shook himself out.<br><br>When Darrien pulled away a bit to try the chili, he leant forwards and took a bite, chewing thoughtfully. He picked up some tobasco and shook it in to give it a bit of kick and then capped it, "It's fine now. You're pretty good at making that." He kissed Darrien gently and then snuggled up against his chest so that he could just absorb his warmth for a moment. <br><br>He pulled away when assured that he could at least stop if he hated school after a term. <br><br>"Alright. Let's eat, then...bed." <br><br>He knew that they'd have to wake up and go to Louisiana. It was the last thing that he wanted to do but maybe this was the next step that he had to take to get on with his life. That was what he was telling himself, at least.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>02-03-2010, 19:21:02</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				It was still pitch dark when Darrien woke up some hours later, at least an hour too early to worry about getting ready, so he took his time getting up, careful not to wake Robbie next to him.<br><br>He took a moment to look at across to the seemingly sleeping figure, all still and peaceful, long dark lashes against pale skin, the hair he took such great care in getting just right, all sticking up. It was really quite endearing and...frightening.<br><br>Darrien left the room before he could think more about the implications of his most recent feelings. Inspecting feelings was a foreign concept, he just needed to help Robbie get through the next few hours with that charming family of his and then maybe, just maybe, he’d think about what came next.<br><br>The school auditions were coming up in just over a week and he was still in two minds what he’d say about whether he was the young man’s guardian, as far as he could remember his eighteenth birthday was just after the audition, so he wouldn’t granted a reprieve through that. Then if Robbie was going to come travelling with him, he’d have to come out to the office. Coming out would mean speaking to their head of HR, a sassy and blunt woman who wasn’t exactly his number fan.<br><br>Oh shit.<br><br><em>One thing at a time, Darrien. One thing at a time.</em><br><br>A run on the treadmill and a work-out later he’d recovered his equilibrium. With only a small towel wrapped around his waist he went across to Robbie’s sleeping form and place a gentle kiss on his forehead.<br><br>“Hey sleepy bones, we need to think about getting ready to leave for the airport.”<br><br><em>[Sorry it's taken so long...]</em><br><br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>04-03-2010, 04:42:21</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie slept like the dead. He had his head buried into the pillows and it was a wonder that he was even able to breathe, taking in a soft breath before burying himself even farther into the bedding. He finally tilted his head and looked at Darrien through bleary eyes, though his smile widened a bit when he saw the other man wearing just that tiny towel, the smile tilting his lips up and showing his white teeth. <br><br>"Kay..." he mumbled, sitting up slowly, still wearing Darrien's sweats but shirtless.<br><br>He stumbled to the dresser, tugged on a pair of dark, designer jeans in a highly flattering indigo. He tugged on a dark red t-shirt and then a black sweater over it to ward off the chill, running a brush through his hair and then letting it fall around his face. "I need to get a haircut," he said with a soft mumble and then a yawn as he trailed back towards the front door.<br><br>He was sleepy, didn't quite seem ready to go, "Do I need anything else to go?" he asked, rubbing at his eyes, yawning. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>09-03-2010, 16:08:58</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				He appreciated the smile and let the towel fall to the floor tantalisingly as he went over to the wardrobe to select his clothes for the day. He was treating this seriously and wanted to make sure he didn’t look like some lecherous sugar daddy. Darrien decided to go for a conservative, smart but casual option, suit, sweater, light tailored shirt.<br><br>“Just yourself and your overnight bag. Taxi’s due in 20 minutes,” Darrien responded, his head half-stuck in the neck of one of his trademark cashmere sweaters.<br><br>“Your hair looks great, but do I look presentable?”<br><br>Head finally unstuck, he gave Robbie a slight smile and did an uncharacteristic twirl in his dark charcoal tailored suit just as his Blackberry pinged its new message sound.<br><br>Picking up the machine absentmindedly he briefly looked at the new e-mail.<br><br><em>“Darrien, I want to know all the details on Monday. This woman’s got to be special if you’re taking off a day for her. Your first in five years according to HR. MW.”</em><br><br>His stomach clenched with nerves, when he realised what he was planning to do on Monday. but he wasn't going to say that to Robbie. Today was supposed to be all about being there for him, so he put a convincing look of amusement with his Editor’s message on his face and he passed it over to Robbie to have a look.<br><br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>11-03-2010, 05:25:21</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				"You look nice," he said as he looked at the nice suit. He wondered what his family would think. If they would think that he was getting used by someone like a cheap whore. If they would judge him or if they would want him back - really, what they would think about him generally. It had been so long since he had seen them. "You look really nice." He didn't want to point out that the other man was going to be way too overdressed for their tiny little town but he was secretly pleased that he was bringing someone who was so well dressed back to his little hometown. <br><br>He looked at the message on Darrien's phone, unable not to smile, nodding a bit.<br><br>"Thanks a bunch, Darrien. For all that you're doing for me. I really appreciate it."<br><br>He looked at the other man and then smiled faintly before turning back to the bedroom. He picked up his bag - already packed - and then began walking towards the front door. He was excited to get on a plane for the first time but not so much to go home. <br><br>He ran his fingers back through his hair.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>12-03-2010, 14:15:05</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				The ride to the airport was mercifully uneventful and once at the terminal building, Darrien whisked Robbie quickly through check-in, security and on to the other side, into the safe-haven of the Delta business lounge with its muted colours, comfortable leather seats and mountains of food in the strategically placed breakfast buffets.<br><br>He really knew this airport far too well. Shortcuts and the location of all coffee bars were mapped and he was even beginning to recognise some of the airline staff. It was a little tragic really, but there was no way he could cut down his travel. After all, a foreign correspondent that didn’t fly around the world was a bit of a waste of space.<br><br>Now that they were happily ensconced on the other side, Darrien turned to Robbie, his own hand placed on the younger man’s.<br><br>“We should be boarding in about an hour. How are you bearing up? I think the last time I saw my parents, I was in the foulest mood imaginable.”<br><br>He was, and it hadn’t improved throughout the whole of his brief stay either.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>19-03-2010, 17:55:57</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie curled up on one of the awkwardly sleek leather chairs that seemed to have been built more with the aesthetic appeal than comfort in mind. He draped one leg over the arm and the other out in front of him - an appealing position if there ever was one, and he seemed not to notice the way a few men eyed the long lines of his legs. He shrugged slightly and gave the other man's hand a soft squeeze, "Bad." He didn't say much else, just stared out the window at the huge planes rolling by them. He seemed to be amused by that, excited by the size of them and the thought that he was going to be getting on a plane for the first time in his life. <br><br>He turned towards Darrien after a few minutes, the shadows smudged under his eyes dark, the circles notable and showing that he'd hardly slept a wink the night before. "Tell me about your parents. When was the last time you saw them? Do you still talk to them?"<br><br>He seemed to think that so long as someone else had a bad relationship with their family as well, it didn't make him such a freak.<br><br>Of course, he reminded himself bitterly, Darrien had gone off and joined the army to pay for college while he had hooked and hitch-hiked his way here and then worked as a whore. He hardly could compare himself with Darrien. <br><br>He wrapped his arms around his knees and let out a soft breath.<br><br>He'd be starting school soon enough, if he got in after the audition. He'd have to work on that. He had no idea what he was going to sing - maybe a church song that he vaguely remembered from before his mom had started doing drugs - and he wondered if he even had the voice for it now that he hadn't sung in so long.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>22-03-2010, 16:49:24</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				The journalist noticed the looks that were directed at Robbie, even if he didn’t and it created a strange feeling of possessiveness in him that he’d never felt before. It scared him but nonetheless he gave Robbie’s hand an answering squeeze.<br><br>“I don’t think I’ve ever spoken to anyone about my parents,” he spoke quietly, checking to see if any of the regulars in the business lounge could hear their conversation. Once he was sure that they couldn’t he continued, “My father owns a large, successful freight and shipping business and my mother does bad paintings for Hallmark cards. They live in the Hamptons and I don’t think I have ever lived up to their image of what I should be like.”<br><br>Darrien sighed and stared at his hands as if they were going to make the conversation easier.<br><br>“After what happened at boarding school they effectively disowned me. They’d paid my school fees so they couldn’t throw me out of there but they didn’t really want to know. I was caught with Chris in the summer of eleventh grade, so I had the whole of summer to put up with their bile...they always told me what a disappointment I was to them...I think I still am, because I’m not like my older brother.”<br><br>He sounded bitter, but didn’t really care.<br><br>“I effectively didn’t see them after the summer break for another ten years. I went back to school and went off the rails, did drugs, got drunk...you name it I did it, which meant I fucked up my college admission, missed the SAT grades I needed for a scholarship and had to apply for the army...you know about that.&nbsp; Later, I was stupidly hoped all the time that they’d change their minds when they heard I was doing well, but I didn’t hear anything from them until about four years ago, when I was invited to “peace conference”... Well...to cut a long story short, I was an idiot and I shouldn’t have bothered to go. They wanted me to reform ... I told them I didn’t need to change ... Then I made some comment about one of my mother’s paintings being homoerotic and I got punched by my perfect brother, so I hit him back and I got threatened with being reported to the police....so, I left and I haven’t spoken to them since. I get letters from my mother every few months or so, filled with religious mumbo jumbo about how I’m going to go to hell.”<br><br>He stopped for breath. Darrien still didn’t meet Robbie’s eyes, it was easier that way. He’d missed out the whole saga around Chris and his own cowardice, but except for that, it was the first time he’d told someone nearly all of it and frankly, it was hard, really hard.<br><br>“So there you have it,” he said slightly more shakily than he would have liked. He was angry with himself that fourteen years on it still hurt and more importantly, he couldn’t hide how he felt about it.<br><br>“Coffee? Breakfast?” Darrien asked abruptly, as if he’d spent the last ten minutes discussing the weather.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>29-03-2010, 23:42:47</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie listened quietly. He felt sorry for Darrien, and he showed it by giving his hand a gentle squeeze every now and then, comforting him as best he could. He didn't really know what to do but he did know that he wanted to make things better, if it was possible. He just...he didn't know how. He knew that Darrien was giving up time at work to go and see his family with him and not only that but financing the whole trip himself - and Robbie didn't even want to know how much that cost - but he didn't know what to say. He'd never been good with words - Robbie had always been a quiet young man and working as a whore had taught him that physical comfort was the best. Either an all-encompassing hug or simply a gentle touch, but he could hardly do that here. <br><br>He idly wondered where his friends from the brothel were. A few of them had managed to get out. He wondered if maybe, when he got back, he could find them. Make some friends in them rather than compete with them, now that he wasn't a whore. <br><br>He paused and then shook his head when asked if he wanted breakfast or coffee. He was searching for the right words.<br><br>He swallowed, and then gave a small smile. "Well...maybe one day we can go see your parents. I'll wear my ripped jeans and we can go pop the tires on their cars. They'll never know it was you." He gave another little gentle smile to show that he was joking - well, maybe - because he didn't know what to say. He could hear how much it hurt Darrien not to have his parents' approval, and he didn't entirely understand it himself.<br><br>He'd never really...cared. Not about his parents. His pimp, maybe, but he'd never looked for that love in his parents because he'd never gotten it there. <br><br>He stroked his thumb over the back of Darrien's hand, but was careful not to be too obvious about it, lest one of the other business travelers recognize the motion.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>08-04-2010, 19:53:49</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				A weak smile was all Darrien could manage but appreciated Robbie’s efforts all the same. The thumb thing was nice and discreet. It made him feel that someone gave a shit about what he felt. Now that was a novelty.&nbsp; Although, the truth was he felt that he didn’t deserve the sympathy. He let people down. He’d let Chris down badly and he hoped to God that he wasn’t going to let Robbie down. Today was supposed to be about him, not Darrien, and there he was with his big mouth blathering about his family. He needed to get it all in perspective.<br><br>“They’d probably figure it out anyway and then slap a court order on me. You can’t afford to be in the news when you write it...anyway it doesn’t matter...but thanks.”<br><br>It didn’t. He didn’t matter to them, therefore they shouldn’t matter to him, except it wasn’t that easy.<br><br>Darrien helped himself to his usual nuclear strength black coffee that he normally had when travelling. It helped him stay awake and focus, although these days since he slept better, he should probably think about cutting down.<br><br>“You’re going to starve if you don’t eat,” Darrien said finally with gentle concern, steering the topic firmly back to Robbie’s well-being, where it ought to have been all along. “The airline food is going to disgusting, even in business.”<br><br>Ooops. He hadn’t told Robbie he hadn’t booked cattle class. Well, there was no time like the present and their flight was going to called soon anyway.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>16-04-2010, 04:30:57</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie smiled faintly and gave the other man a little nod. He was upset - upset that Darrien's family was as shitty as his own - bitter that people who seemed to have a genuinely decent kernel of good buried in their chests always got stuck with such shitty families. He reached out and took Darrien's coffee, taking a sip of it before handing it back to the other man, wincing slightly. "Jesus. It's like drinking acid. Don't you put any sugar in there?" He smiled faintly, though, to show that he wasn't actually annoyed.<br><br>He was pale and drawn, and his color seemed to drain when he found out they were flying business class. <br><br>"I...that must've been really expensive." He looked at Darrien, cheeks coloring slightly. He seemed both happy and uncomfortable - he didn't know how to react. He ran his fingers back through his hair, "That's...that's really nice. Thanks. I just...I know I keep saying it, but I won't ever be able to pay you back for all of this..." <br><br>He knew that now that they were having sex, their relationship had moved from one where he was juts living in his apartment to something a bit more...romantic, but he still felt a bit guilty over how much money Darrien had spent on him. That wasn't to say that he didn't appreciate it, but...he still felt a bit responsible for the money that Darrien was spending, yet he didn't know what to do to pay him back other than be as nice to him as he could.<br><br>He looked up, gave Darrien's hand another squeeze, then looked out at the planes. "Thanks. For all of this, I...really appreciate it." <br><br>Their flight was called in the middle of his sentence and he obediently pocketed a can of Cola and a banana as well as a muffin, but he didn't seem like he actually wanted to eat any of it. As they were showed onto the plane, business boarded first, and he walked into the low-ceilinged cabin. He looked at their luxurious leather armchairs with gleaming chrome accents. The seating in here was fancier than anything he'd ever seen - and he loked back, seeing all the tiny, hard, scratchy seats that coach-class would have been. <br><br>"Oh..." he said, looking back at their seats. A stewardess gently but firmly guided them to their seats and Robbie sat down. "This is...really cool." <br><br>He jumped as the pilots started warming the plane up, looking at Darrien, still pale-faced. "Is that sound normal? It doesn't sound normal."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>26-04-2010, 13:37:59</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Being in the familiar, almost home from home surroundings of the Delta aircraft, soothed away the remnants of Darrien’s awkwardness following Robbie’s gratitude and his own outburst regarding his family.<br><br>Darrien checked out the stewardess almost from habit, before slightly belatedly realising that at least with Robbie he didn’t have to keep up the charade of actually being interested in the softer feminine curves that were being paraded in the tight red uniform with the plunging neckline.<br><br>“Sorry,” he mumbled to Robbie, “bad force of habit.”<br><br>He sat next to his younger companion, ensuring Robbie got the window seat so he could see out.<br><br>“The noise is normal,” he said with a slight smile hoping that Robbie had forgiven him for his earlier indiscretion.<br><br>“You get used to it I guess, but it gets louder as you take off.”<br><br>He draped his arm casually over Robbie’s. There was nobody on the plane he recognised since it wasn’t any of his regular routes, so he felt relatively safe being a little bit more demonstrative.<br><br>The air stewardess with the tight dress returned to offer them drinks and some snacks. Darrien thought that she looked a little disappointed when she realised he was with Robbie. Then she touched him slightly longer than necessary, when encouraging them to fasten their seatbelts, which sent a surge of irritation through the journalist. The woman smiled as she left them clearly amused by Darrien’s discomfort.<br><br>Darrien turned to Robbie asked quietly enough that the businessman across the aisle from them wouldn’t hear but loud enough to carry to the stewardess who was only a couple of steps away , “Have you heard of the mile high club?”<br><br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>07-05-2010, 06:29:48</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie watched as Darrien checked out the waitress, and he looked at the other man, shrugging slightly. It didn't bother him that Darrien was checking out the waitresses - he'd never thought that he'd have a solid relationship like this. Let alone one that was monogamous - it was sweet that Darrien was saying he'd come out, and that he was taking him on all of these trips, but Robbie was skeptical about the fact that he'd actually come out. Robbie didn't think that it was necessary for Darrien to do it. He was perfectly happy being Darrien's little bint on the side, so long as Darrien continued treating him so well. He didn't expect a lot, just that little bit. <br><br>He calmed a bit when he felt Darrien's arm drape over his, smiling faintly, shooting the stewardess a little look to show that he was with Darrien, and she wasn't.<br><br>He laughed softly when Darrien brought up the mile high club, "Only ever heard of it vaguely. It does sound like something fun, something that I'd be more than willing to try..." he murmured softly, leaning forwards to whisper it into the other man's ear.<br><br>He glanced out the window when the walkway began pulling away from the plane and stared.<br><br>He'd never seen something like this - never seen all of this, all of this technology coming together in something that was going to lift them through the air and whisk them away to Louisiana...back to a place that he'd never wanted to go to again.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>17-05-2010, 12:50:44</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				The next three hours of the flight sped past as far as Darrien was concerned and he enjoyed his role of taking care of Robbie. He told some of his more outrageous in-flight stories, like the man and the woman who had disappeared in the tiny cubicle the moment they had left Saudi airspace and then hadn’t reappeared until two hours later at the insistence of a rather annoyed looking air steward, looking rather dishevelled.&nbsp; There was also the anecdote of the unbearable A-list movie star flying from New York to Hong Kong who annoyed the cabin staff so much that the Purser had “accidently” tipped a whole jug of tomato juice over the immaculate beige linen suit he’d been wearing.<br><br>He wanted to make it sound fun, light-hearted and possibly a little glamorous so that the young man next to him wouldn’t be too nervous as the plane took off at its steep angle and flew on its course to the south and more importantly to keep his mind off the inevitable “reunion” that he was clearly dreading. So he punctuated his conversation with discrete light touches, something he would never have contemplated a month ago and kept away from the disadvantages of his jet-set lifestyle, with its sleepless nights, anonymous hotel rooms and the jetlag, finally promising an attempt to join the&nbsp; mile high club on their return if Robbie still wanted to.<br><br>Darrien spent the final minutes of the flight reviewing with Robbie when they were going to meet the family and what they were going to say once they actually got there.<br><br>“I’m going to be there for you,” Darrien said earnestly. “You just need to let me know whether you want to get it all over and done with tonight or if you want to leave it till tomorrow.”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>21-05-2010, 20:42:12</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie laughed at the stories he was told, wondering if this was what the typical flight was like. It sounded...glamorous, fun. It gave him a glimpse into a world that he never would have thought that he would have any access to. He laughed at the bit about the Purser spilling tomato juice all over the star's suit - it remind him of something that he himself would have done if someone pissed him off - and he leant a bit closer to the other man when the plane took off. Clearly he didn't like it, shutting his eyes tightly, hands clenching on the armrest as the plane took off and soared up into the sky. <br><br>He managed not to think about what they were going to do when they actually touched down, slim fingers clenching onto the armrest, then moving up to hold onto the edge of the other man's sleeve. <br><br>He didn't even want to talk about what they were going to do when they touched down in Louisiana.<br><br>He knew that they had to, though, and that he had to make the decision. "I just want to go there and get it over with. I don't want to..." he swallowed, "I just want to get it over with. I don't want to have to deal with this or think about this anymore." He couldn't. He couldn't bear to think of what it would be like to show up at his own doorstep and see his mother, see his step father, see the dirty little trailer home he'd grown up in. <br><br>He shook his head slightly and then looked out the window as the plane began to coast closer to the ground. <br><br>"Let's just rent the car and go there. I just need to...I just need to get it done," He mumbled. That was all he wanted to do. Go there, get his birth certificate, and leave. He hoped to God that his mother wouldn't try to keep him there, even though he still loved her, and missed her. He hoped that his step father wouldn't try to do anything while Darrien was standing right behind him. <br><br>The plane came down with a bump and Robbie jerked out of his thoughts, too distracted to have even noticed. He looked out and shivered slightly as though freezing from the inside out. When people began to deplane, he picked up his small bag, looking over his shoulder at Darrien. "Guess we have to go do this, then..."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>28-05-2010, 18:41:55</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“Understood.”<br><br>Darrien squeezed the slim shoulder affectionately as he too stretched to grab his cabin bag.<br><br>“Nothing will happen. I promise we’ll get it done as quickly as possible.”<br><br>New Orleans Louis Armstrong airport was surprisingly busy and hot, a world away from the freezing wintery temperatures that were the norm in New York. There was that customary airport smell that Darrien picked up, the comforting scent of disinfectant, dust and heat all rolled into one. It almost felt like home.<br><br>&nbsp;Keeping his arm around Robbie as they walked across the grimy, grey, reconstituted stone floor, Darrien had to jostle at least three mothers who had their prams located slap bang in the middle of a busy walkway. They all gave him murderous stares as he hurried towards the car rental desks in the far corner. He ignored the Avis, Hertz and Alamo kiosks and instead headed to a small desk just beyond.<br><br>He’d reckoned if he was driving the five hour, 300 odd mile journey to Bienville he was going to do it in style.<br><br>The old man at the desk greeted them with delight and ushered them out of the terminal into the humid air of the car lot just outside and proudly gave Darrien the keys to a gleaming blue and chrome stately looking car that was parked three spaces away from them and clearly stood out from the Hummers, Cadillacs and other dull cars that surrounded her.<br><br>“Happy driving,” he said with a cheery smile before leaving the two men alone with the vehicle.<br><br>“1953 Bel Air Chevrolet Convertible,” Darrien said grinning, his eyes gleaming as he spoke to Robbie. “I figured we could go for something a little different. It’s reconditioned so it even has air conditioning if we need to put the roof up.”<br><br>He almost looked gleeful like a little boy, as he opened the passenger side door for Robbie to get into.<br><br>“Like it?”<br><br><br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>17-06-2010, 00:50:57</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie's pale eyes widened and he took a deep breath in when they got into the airport. The large glass doors had been opening and closing all day and the airport was flooded with the thick, muggy air. It was sweet with the smell of blooming plants and sunbaked air, stagnant, a rare breeze occasionally stirring up the heat. <br><br>He was glad that Darrien kept his arm around him as they walked. <br><br>He knew that it probably wasn't an easy thing for the other man to do, walking like this with another man in public, and he appreciated it. It helped him bite back the rising panic and the sharp, coppery taste of blood as he bit his bottom lip a bit too hard. He licked it away and looked around to see what car they'd be driving in. Any car would be good, really, so long as it would turn on and wouldn't explode or something like that. <br><br>He couldn't help but stare when he saw what they'd be driving in, though, and saw Darrien holding the keys.<br><br>He slid in and stared, running his fingers over the interior, mouth open just a little bit. "Wow." It was so much better than regular flashy cars because it was actually a classic, rather than just a hunk of flashy metal. "It's...wow." He gave Darrien a slow kiss, luxuriating in the taste of the other man's lips against his own. <br><br>"Thanks for all of this." <br><br>Soon enough they'd be on the highway towards his home, but for now, he was happy enough. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>05-07-2010, 15:48:47</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				She was a right goer, was their 1953 Chevy and in acknowledgement of the warmer climes down south, Darrien kept the top down, allowing the air to whip their hair like the perfect gay shampoo advert.<br><br>It was all rather surreal. There he was, Darrien Calder, the perfect embodiment of heterosexual machismo, the type that shagged women and then left them at the slightest hint of attachment of commitment on their part, driving an open top Chevy, in the deeply homophobic south with his…his…what were he and Robbie to each other exactly? Fuck buddies? Friends with benefits? Lovers…?<br><br>Maybe he could skip that part for the moment.<br><br>Where was he? Oh yes, in the homophobic south, taking him to visit his shitty parents in a godforsaken town in the middle of nowhere, so that he could get his birth certificate, so that Darrien could take Robbie with him on romantic European tour, whilst he was working.<br><br>Frankly, you couldn’t make it up if you tried. You’d be laughed out of town for being a grade A fantasist.<br><br>To top it all off, he knew he’d have to come out to at least a couple of his of his work colleagues, namely, his boss and Claire, the HR woman who hated his guts because he was a sexist, misogynistic bastard (her words not his), unless he could pass Robbie off as Roberta and that wasn’t something that was exactly an option. Now that was going to be a fun fuelled conversation…but once more, he was getting ahead of himself. He didn’t want to face up to this part of reality quite yet. He suspected that Robbie felt the same, so he avoided any mention of what they’d actually be doing once they got to Bienville and so he talked about where they’d be visiting together in the coming month and what they’d see, carefully skirting around the practicalities that they’d both have to go through to get them there.<br><br>Once the topic of Europe was finally exhausted he turned back to their immediate surroundings.<br><br>“So want to be the tour guide and point out the highlights of the surrounding countryside?”<br><br><br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>15-07-2010, 09:09:59</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie's hair flowed around him just as though they were being filmed, steadfastly not focusing on exactly what their relationship was, or what it would be like when they finally got back to his home. Instead, he chatted about various things, things he hadn't seen in so many years. As they rolled towards Bienville, he pointed out a small lake where he'd learned to fish, the fields where people could plant gardens that the city would help finance, as well as the one bar in town where everyone ended up at the end of the night.<br><br>He pointed out the church, the police office, though thinking of the Sheriff made his back tighten. Bienville was tiny, and the police office was an old converted house, one with a long wraparound porch. The Sheriff was sitting there, relaxing, clearly not worried that something was going to happen.<br><br>His eyes widened when he saw Robbie.<br><br>He'd recognize him anywhere, and it was clear that Robbie made an effort to look away, "And...just down there, at the end of the road, is where my mother lives." <br><br>The house was tidy enough, a pale yellow with dark blue shutters, the grass mostly dried up. A few beer cans lay scattered in the yard and there were urine spots from the dogs running in the yard. Some flowers bloomed halfheartedly against the side of the house, and the front door was propped open. There were voices inside - a television, and a man saying something to a women, the door open to help air the heat out of the house. <br><br>"This is it. Where...they...live."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>21-07-2010, 18:30:32</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				The Sheriff looked exactly as Darrien had imagined. They were finally at Robbie’s hometown and their fragile little bubble that they’d been living in for the past month was dangerously close to bursting. He had realized belatedly that he looked overdressed and their hire car, a little too expensive for this small town, but it was a little late to go and change things now.<br><br>He pulled to a stop outside the home. It was funny; he’d been expecting something far worse, like a trailer, or those depressing houses that you saw on the home extreme makeover shows that didn’t look fit for human habitation. Comparing this with where he grew up, his home looked like a palace, or maybe a gilded cage.<br><br>Wealthy parents had meant a large house, set in its own land, not that he was there much. He probably saw his boarding school more than where he was supposed to live but as he always had to remind himself, this wasn’t about him.<br><br>Darrien got out the car slowly before going over to Robbie side and standing next to him possessively.<br><br>“Don’t forget, I’ll be right next to you and as soon as you get your birth certificate, we can get straight out of here if you want to.”<br><br>He could just see the headlines “Foreign Correspondent’s Brawl with Lover’s Parents” or, “The Tale of the Foreign Correspondent, the Rent-a-boy and the Pedophile Sheriff”.<br><br>Good grief.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>16-08-2010, 22:49:25</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie shook his hair out and slowly got out of the car. "Yeah. I just hope she still knows where it is," he muttered under his breath, slowly standing up and stretching his long legs out. He began walking slowly up the front yard, hands dug deep into his pockets, shoulders slumped over. He didn't want anything more than to leave. Perhaps he could just sleep his way into Paris and Helsinki. He'd do anything, so long as he didn't have to step up those stairs and go and get that simple piece of paper. <br><br>He forced one foot in front of the other, walking up, knocking softly on the doorframe. <br><br>There was a loud sound from inside, then a little slip of a woman came out. She looked so much like Robbie it was&nbsp; like looking in a mirror - the same full, luscious hair, pouting lips, the wipsy frame. She was a bit too thin, though, dark shadows under her eyes along with the twitching fingertips that spoke to the same sort addiction Robbie himself had struggled with. <br><br>She was wearing a worn-down dress, a hand shoved in her pocket, and looked Robbie up and down.<br><br>She reached out, touching his cheek momentarily, eyes softening as only a mother's can. "You came back?"<br><br>Robbie jerked back as though he'd been burned, stumbling into Darrien's body, eyes immediately burning. He felt his eyes fill up, turning away so that he wouldn't have to let those tears fall. Her hands were still soft, and she still smelled like cheap, flowery soap. <br><br>God, he missed her.<br><br>She looked at Darrien, "And who're you? You bringin' my baby back to me?" She touched Robbie's hair, watching the way his eyes shut, his hands trembled. "Baby, it's okay. I thought you were dead; I ain't mad, just glad to have you back." <br><br>Robbie turned away, stamping a foot suddenly, making his mother flinch back as though she was more than used to dodging quick moves. "I just need my birth certificate and then you won't see me again." <br><br>His mother stared at him, then at Darrien, "Who are you?"<br><br>"Damnit, Rosie, the food's burnin'." A deep, gruff voice sounded out and Rosie, apparently so named, disappeared into the house to retrieve an acrid-smelling plate of meat, wincing as she fanned the dark smoke off of it.<br><br>Robbie looked back at Darrien, and then beckoned him to follow him into the tiny living room. <br><br>A large man stood up - he was tall, broad, with a brushy mustache and scrubby five-o'-clock-shadow. He glanced at Robbie, and his smile spread into a slow, pleased smile. "Robbie. You're back, boy." <br><br>Robbie shrank back a step. His mother, still shocked, was looking through files for his son's birth certificate. "I thought you were dead. I don't even know if I still have it," she murmured from a cabinet in the living room.<br><br>The man walked forwards, holding a hand out to Darrien, "I'm Jim." <br><br>Robbie's eyes focused on those thick hands, smeared with dirt, and those heavy-set wrists. Those hands had been all over his body, in places that he had never intended the man to see.<br><br>He felt like he was going to collapse. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>23-08-2010, 14:40:07</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Rabbit caught in head lights. That was exactly how Darrien felt. <br><br>The woman wasn’t the ogre that he’d imagined and her similarity to Robbie sure didn’t help either.<br><br>He ignored her first question. Bringing Robbie back…here, to stay, was never top of his agenda. The woman had the wrong idea, but her tone made him hesitate. He wasn’t used to mothers actually wanting to see their sons, but the other voice in his head reminded Darrien of everything that Robbie had told him.<br><br>She may be happy to see her son back, but she wasn’t going to protect him. She was a victim, just like her son, but a different type. He fussing may have hid her fear but her physical presence spoke volumes.<br><br>The fidgeting, the dark rings under her eyes were the image of how Robbie had been when they’d first met. He had had extreme youth on his side and whilst the mother was still young, Darrien knew that it was a matter of time before those lips thinned and became cracked. The lustrous hair would soon lose its shine and become dry and brittle and that dress would hang from her frame even more obviously than it did now. He did feel pity for her, but the feeling was fleeting. He needed to concentrate on Robbie.<br><br>Being saved from answering her question a second time was a bonus. He hadn’t thought about exactly how he would present himself.<br><br>Who was he to him, he questioned as he followed the young man into the house. They had never verbalized their “arrangement” and it had suited Darrien to be silent on the matter until he’d figured everything out in his own mind, but now they were here in Bienville face to face with the bastard who had touched Robbie and he realized he was running out of time.<br><br>Then the tall broad, dirty man introduced himself and for moment whatever they were to each other didn’t matter right then as long as Darrien kept Robbie away from him. He was filled with indignant anger just from the disgusting, fake bonhomie the man exuded.<br><br>“I’m Darrien. I’m with your son,” he said coldly, addressing the final part of his answer to Rosie. Let her make of that what she will. He didn’t need to explain himself and he most certainly wasn’t going to shake hands with “Jim”.<br><br>Sensing Robbie’s terror, the journalist drew the seventeen year old towards himself protecting him with his own greater height and bulk, holding his hand, keeping him there like an anchor.<br><br>“Ma’am, even if you can’t find the original, if you could write down the details, we can get a copy of it at the town offices.” And hopefully get the hell out here, but he left the last part unsaid.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>25-08-2010, 07:40:17</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Rosie's eyes widened when she heard that the tall, good-looking, well-dressed man was with her son. She seemed to understand that he wasn't a social worker, then, and it suddenly dawned on her that her son had gotten himself a good catch who seemed willing to give him a new lease on his life. She smiled faintly, a bit sadly, knowing that she'd probably never see her baby again. Which was alright, as long as he was happy, and safe. She knew she couldn't keep him safe, though she wanted to, and the faint trembling of her hands spoke to that even more than words ever could have.<br><br>It broke Robbie's heart.<br><br>Even standing there, pressed back against Darrien's chest with his hand in the other man's squeezing so hard it must have hurt, it broke his heart. He wanted to tell Darrien to go, that he'd stay here, just to take care of his mother and try to get her clean and keep her safe from all the bads in the world. <br><br>Then Jim opened his mouth.<br><br>"Oh, so you're a faggot too? Always knew Robbie'd end up with some big-city fag." <br><br>Rosie's eyes narrowed, "Jim." <br><br>Jim snorted and Rosie opened another drawer, shaking her head, sending her dark hair quivering about her face. Robbie was white as a sheet, hands trembling in anger, wanting to attack the man who had done so much to make him who he was.<br><br>"Well, lookit, Robbie. At least you're gettin' something outta it, right? He givin' you something good? I see that fancy car out there; looks like you got yourself a real winner." <br><br>He reached out then, faster than a man his size and build would have seemed to be, almost as light on his feet as a dancer or a fighter. He ran a hand down Robbie's cheek then the palm turned and touched Robbie's hair, gripping it hard in his hand, pulling the boy towards him to meet his eyes. "Still got that charm, I guess. Must be them pretty eyes of yours. He like lookin' at 'em, when he's got you bent over?"<br><br>Rosie slammed a cabinet and yanked a piece of paper out, almost tearing it, eyes wide and full of tears, "Jim, stop." <br><br>Robbie jerked back, pulling quite a few hairs from his head in the process, wincing as the hateful words hit him like&nbsp; a punch to the gut. <br><br>It was only his mother's trembling hand holding his birth certificate out that stopped him from lashing out, from sobbing, from doing anything. Suddenly he felt like he was eleven all over again, small, helpless. He felt like the whole world had been tipped out from under him and all he wanted was oblivion. Even Darrien's hand couldn't ground him and he shut his eyes tightly.<br><br>Jim smirked, seeing the boy squeeze his eyes shut so tightly, knowing well the effect and what he had just done to Robbie.<br><br>"Just take it. Take it and go," Rosie whispered, holding the piece of paper out to Darrien, her hand trembling so badly it had set the whole page to shaking.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>05-09-2010, 18:50:23</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Squeezing hard, he could feel the almost bone crushing desperate force that Robbie was using to keep hold of him or maybe to stop himself from letting go. It could have been either and Darrien wasn’t sure which one it was. He held on tight, didn’t let go, almost to make up for his silence.<br><br>He didn’t know what to say for the first time in his adult life, it was as if he had been rendered mute. <br><br>No pretty words came to mind as the disgusting man taunted them both with the same phrase.<br><br>He remained silent; the only thing that gave away what he felt was the thin line of his pursed lips and the way he held the young man to him.<br><br>But it wasn’t enough.<br><br>Fear, gut wrenching cowardly fear was what stopped Darrien from responding. Robbie was being hurt and he was standing there doing nothing. The scene was playing out in front of him and Darrien felt powerless to stop it.<br><br>It was just like what happened with Chris over a decade a ago, except now it was a another young man, the bully not his father or the monks that taught them many years ago but a red necked bully from the deep south and there he was still standing there like an idiot too caught up in the past to stop the person he was supposed to protect from getting hurt.<br><br>It was the piece of paper that eventually did it and the strange courage of the frail, damaged woman who held it out to him, hoping she was handing her son to a better fate. She was counting on him.<br><br>Darrien grabbed the birth certificate, only barely looking over printed lettering to check it was legit, before drawing Robbie towards him and saying quietly, with as much confidence as he could, “You’re safe, you’re with me. I won’t let anything happen to you…just please get in the car and I’ll be with you in a second.”<br><br>He didn’t check if the young man had listened to him. He just turned around and faced Jim. This wasn’t Chris. He wasn’t sixteen anymore.<br><br>In a sudden movement, he grabbed the front of the man’s shirt and drew the thug towards him. Fourteen years of living with his shame and disgrace all came out in one movement.<br><br>“I care about Robbie in a way your disgusting, sick, perverted mind couldn’t even begin to understand.”<br><br>His hand twisted harder grabbing more material.<br><br>“You lay another hand on Robbie ever again,” Darrien’s eyes bored into Jim’s, “and I will make you regret every single time you touched him.”<br><br>He let go, pushing Jim away from him as he walked towards the door. Before he left he hesitated briefly and turned to face Robbie’s mother, whilst keeping a wary eye on Jim. “Ma’am, we can drop you off somewhere if you want…” he trailed off, his voice quiet so that the bullying husband couldn’t hear.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>07-09-2010, 03:36:43</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				The minute Darrien told him to leave, Robbie left. It felt like a dream, stepping out into the bright sunlight, feeling the dusty air whip up past him. As though he hadn't just walked in and gotten his papers and now was planning on leaving forever. He walked to the car, hands stuffed in his pockets, mouth squeezed into a tight line. He didn't want to think about the house, about how he was a terrible son - his mother had looked so much healthier before he had left - or about what returning to that home would cost him.<br><br>He couldn't deal with it.<br><br>He couldn't deal with everything that was right in front of him, and he knew what he needed was some sweet, blissful relaxation. Something heavy-duty, something he knew he could get when they were back in New York. He slumped in the front seat of the car, not speaking, face pale. He didn't want to speak, to think, just wanted to get the hell out of there and pretend that he hadn't seen them at all.<br><br>He didn't want to think about his mother rotting away, when he could have gotten clean, then went back to hooking to pay to bring her up to New York.<br><br>He didn't want to think about how now it was her, not him, at the brunt of the abuse. The logical part of his mind told him that it wasn't his responsibility, that she was grown and that she wouldn't want him earning money by selling himself again, but another nagging part told him that he should, he could, just to save her.<br><br>It wasn't hard, afterall, he reasoned. Just a few clients and he could have her up in New York.<br><br>He didn't even think about the fact that she might not want to leave.<br><br>Jim froze when the other man grabbed him - there was something in Darrien's eyes that he had seen before; it was the same look that had come into the butcher's eyes when he had killed a local farmer for sleeping with his daughter, witha&nbsp; shotgun. Angry, so many years of anger, all built up into one little explosion over something that he thought should be forgiven. <br><br>He didn't move, knowing, believing that Darrien really would come back and hurt him.<br><br>And who knew who the hell he was? For all his talk and bluster, Jim was just a farmboy, and Darrien was rich and powerful and considering Robbie had found him there was a good chance, he reasoned, that he had ties to some black market industry.<br><br>Rosie shook her head, "My place is here," she mumbled, "I was born and I'll die here. Just take Robbie away and make sure he's happy."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>08-09-2010, 19:32:51</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Despite his anger, Darrien felt a pang of compassion.<br><br>“I will Ma’am,” he replied solemnly and instantly felt the weight of responsibility lie heavily in his gut.<br><br>Quickly he scrawled down his cell number before he had time to think exactly what he was doing and pressed the scrap of paper into her hand.<br><br>“Just in case you ever change your mind,” he murmured and with that he was gone, walking quickly to their hire car before he would do something that he might regret. <br><br>Mercifully, Robbie was there, in the passenger seat, but that where his relief ended. He was sitting defeated, slumped, looking young but at the same time incredibly world weary. Darrien slid next to him and squeezed the pale hand next to him before placing a chaste kiss on his temple.<br><br>“She’s not coming,” he said quietly, “so let’s just get out of here.” There was a note of defeat mingled with frustration in his voice.<br><br>The need to put distance behind them and Bienville was immense. His hands gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles were white, his head a jumble of emotions he couldn’t quite understand as he put his foot hard on the gas and the Chevy roared away from the small town.<br><br>Half an hour and many broken speed limits later, he finally felt in sufficient control of his emotions to stop and pulled into the side of Mount Olive Road next to the wildlife reserve. The sultry air and the lush, heavily wooded avenue almost made him think he was elsewhere. He almost wished he was.<br><br>“I’m sorry…”<br><br>He’d fucked up, royally and truly fucked up.<br><br>“I didn’t think he’d try anything…I…didn’t know what to do…I’m sorry.”<br><br>He hadn’t apologised to anyone in years.<br><br>Darrien had been caught in another time and another place, thinking of another seventeen year old, but he didn’t have the words to explain that, instead he looked morosely at Robbie. He still&nbsp; felt a mixture of anger and guilt all rolled into one, but he needed to sort himself out for Robbie now that he was supposed to be the responsible one. Shit.<br><br>“You ok?”<br><br>What a stupid question, of course the kid wasn’t okay.<br><br>“I mean, I’ve booked a room at an old Plantation house not more than another half an hour from. You want to stop there overnight and…you know…talk a bit?”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>10-09-2010, 04:23:42</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie sat still, so still, even when they pulled to a stop. He didn't move when the kiss was placed to his temple, didn't answer the question of where he wanted to stay, didn't speak for quite some time. He had withdrawn into himself, eyes shut to hide the haunted look, to hide the memories plaguing him so profusely. Memories he'd never thought he'd see again - the bench in the hard, where he'd been pinned down, the edge of a metal chain coiling from around the house where on one prolonged stay away from home with her drugs, his mother had left him playing, and Jim had tied him up with the chains, beating him with the free end. <br><br>He still bore the scars, a few faint, barely-visible marks around his ribs, now long-healed but not forgotten.<br><br>He finally looked up, "Yeah, the plantation's fine. But I don't want to talk about it."<br><br>He leant back, fingers fumbling in his pocket, realizing they were empty. "Can we stop for cigarettes?" He knew he shouldn't be smoking, he knew he'd quit, but he needed one. More than that, he needed a hit, but he doubted that Darrien would buy him drugs. Afterall, the man had worked so hard to get him clean, why would he let him turn himself down that path again?<br><br>He leant back morosely into the seat, having withdrawn into himself, "Thanks for taking me to get the birth certificate," he murmured, though whether he truly appreciated it or he said it out of politeness and that ever-nagging fear that if he lost Darrien's love, he'd be out of a home and a job and a future, was unclear. <br><br>He loved Darrien, of course he did, but he looked far more like the bruised young man Darrien had picked up in the brothel months ago than the healthy young man he'd been just a day before, in those moments. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>13-09-2010, 16:05:30</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				He was the last person to force anyone to talk about things they’d rather keep to themselves but in this case he disagreed. Festering wasn’t going to help, but he said nothing just fumbled in his inner jacket pocket.<br><br>“I brought emergency rations,” he said bringing out a slightly crumpled packet of cigarettes and offering one to Robbie before taking one himself.<br><br>Darrien lit his with a flick of his thumb over the lighter. The small flame stayed absolutely still in the humid air as he moved it to light Robbie’s, his fingers gently holding the younger man’s still for much longer than necessary before finally dropping his hands.&nbsp; Before long, plumes of smoke hung over the top of the car. A few drags of nicotine later, he was finally composed enough to drive once more.<br><br>The last half an hour of drive felt awkward as the uneasy silence stretched. Guilt was the main emotion on his mind. Robbie looked haunted again, like the scared child he’d first met a couple of months ago and he hadn’t done anything to stop it. Sure, he’d threatened the bastard afterwards, but he hadn’t done anything immediately and the feeling ate away at him, fuelled by Robbie’s inability to talk about what happened.<br><br>As he dwelt more and more of the events of the past hour he wondered whether the young man blamed him, whether there was more to the silence than he claimed and whether Robbie thought Darrien had failed him. <br><br>The apology of earlier clearly hadn’t been accepted. Robbie was probably angry with him.<br><br>It was simple really, he though as they drove up to the beautiful antebellum building, he’d failed Chris and now, when it had really mattered he’d failed Robbie. He’d promised that the bastard would hurt him, wouldn’t touch him and he’d fallen at the first hurdle.<br><br>He came to a stop on the gravel drive just as a flunky came out to greet them, his eyes widening slightly at the occupants of the car. Darrien steadfastly ignored him as the man hurried away with their luggage.<br><br>He took a deep breath and steeled himself before putting his arm around Robbie. He wanted to make a point and as hard as it seemed right now, he felt he owed it to the young man to at least show that he was trying not to shy away from what they had.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>16-09-2010, 05:10:27</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie let the cigarette dangle listlessly from his lips, bobbing as he swallowed, before he took in a great gulp of smoke. He needed it, he realized, and when it burned he took in an even deeper one. He let Darrien drive, the blue smoke swirling around him, before escaping out the car and being pulled lazily away on the thick air. <br><br>He appreciated the arm around him when they got to the old manor, leaning into Darrien's side for comfort and support, amazed that someone had once called this a home. It was so large. So large and so lavish even though now it was a hotel.<br><br>He smirked, and it was bitter and mean and meant to show that they were a couple if only for the shock value, at the bellman who brought their bags and stared. He sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the sky blue and white cotton, so airily laid across the thick feather-topped mattress. <br><br>He'd finished his cigarette.<br><br>He stubbed it out on the windowsill, searched Darrien's jacket pocket for more, lit another one.<br><br>"I'm sorry," he finally said with a forced, tight smile. His eyes were shut off, again, still expressive but that wary guardedness he'd had back in the whorehouse having returned full force. "I shouldn't be moping around like this. I don't mean to ruin our first vacation together. Nothing happened; I'm safe and he didn't do anything to me. And we have my passport now."<br><br>He did smile faintly at that, a bit more genuinely, "And we're going to Paris."<br><br>He blew out a breath of smoke, lay back on the bed for a moment, then sat up. He needed a hit. He wanted the sweet nothingness of heroin, or the spinning, buzzing high of cocaine. Anything.<br><br>"How come you haven't talked to your family at all, lately? I could've sworn I saw a letter from them in the mail the other day," it wasn't a lie, he thought he had seen one in the pile of mail he'd put on the table just as they were leaving, though if it was from Darrien's parents and if it actually was from his family he wasn't certain. <br><br>He just wanted to focus on something other than his own misery.<br><br>The heated air felt like it was suffocating him, like he was dying, burning up from the inside out. He felt tears well and he shoved them back down. Down into the dank, dry well where he kept all of his hopes and dreams.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>19-09-2010, 20:40:06</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Guilt knotted his insides as the varnished, yet rough top iron lace rail of the balcony bit into his arm. Darrien ignored the discomfort and just stared out on to the manicured grounds of the hotel where politely planted colourful beds of flowers rubbed shoulders like southern belles with New Orleans oaks.<br><br>It shouldn’t have been Robbie who was apologising to him, he though distractedly as he continued to watch their bell boy running between cars and the large wooden veranda of their building.<br><br>He had really fucked up.<br><br>Paris would be good; his mind added in response to Robbie’s conversation, it just seemed so very far away. So much to be done until they could go. Darrien’s mind was like a checklist, with a list of endless tasks and empty boxes waiting to be ticked off, his shoulders getting tenser with each item and then he heard Robbie’s last question and his body went rigid.<br><br>So he hadn’t forgiven him. Darrien had been right and this was his way of getting back, using their conversation at the airport against him.<br><br>The envelope Robbie referred to was sitting in his overnight bag unread and unopened. He didn’t turn around, didn’t even say anything at first, just swallowing the hurt.<br><br>“You know I don’t speak to them,” he said with a quiet voice. “The rest of my so-called family decided I wasn’t worth bothering with not long after my parents came to the same conclusion. The letter’s in my bag if you want to read it and I’m sure it will be full of my mother’s righteous indignation with her youngest son. It will say how I’ve let everyone down, what a failure I am and how my soul with burn in eternal damnation and how my father wishes I’d never been born.”<br><br>Straightening on the balcony, he continued to stand outside stiffly, still with his back to the room. It was nearly dark outside, the emerald green of the manicured lawns turning to a dark grey. Finally he faced Robbie.<br><br>“I’m sorry; I wish you’d accept that. I messed up. It won’t happen again. I didn’t want you to see it but I threatened him…He won’t ever touch you again, I’ll make sure of that.”<br><br>Falling silent once more, he stared back out in to the cooling evening. He understood the young man’s misery, the need to lash out, but for once wished that someone thought he was dependable and then as soon it came, he squashed the feeling of self pity down. It wasn’t the time.<br><br>Darrien wanted to ask if they were okay, but wasn’t capable of asking, didn’t really want to hear the answer, maybe it was too much too soon. This is what happened when you made people to do things. Maybe he was pushing Robbie into doing things he didn’t want to do because of his own relentless search for forgiveness of sins committed over a decade ago. Maybe he should remember that Robbie wasn’t Chris.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>20-09-2010, 07:44:50</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie sat quietly, and when Darrien spoke about the letter, he turned away and let out a breath of smoke. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, "I'm being an ass, and melodramatic. Nothing happened at the house; it could have been worse. I'm not mad at you." He got out and tapped out his cigarette in the ash tray, walking up to his lover, wrapping a slim arm around his waist and leaning against him as he looked out over the fields of the house. "It was just...going back there, it was..."<br><br>He shook his head and shrugged, shutting his eyes for a moment, forcing himself to maintain his composure.<br><br>"And my mom," he said, as though he'd segued into it, though he was starting an entirely new topic, "Seeing her was just so...it's hard. She's dying, I can see it, and I hoped she'd been off drugs but I know she's not...and she's still there with him and there's nothing I can do." <br><br>He let his fingers clench into a fist, "And then she told you to take care of me, like she doesn't even think I can do that myself. I mean...I sent her money for years, while I was in New York, and I know she blew it on drugs. I've finally stopped that, but...she's just so...seeing her there, she looked so small, and now I feel like a shit for not taking care of her."<br><br>He couldn't look at Darrien. "I still hate Jim. For what he did to me. I just...I know I'll always just be a kid to him, the kid he used. It's hard to be put back into that position, for me. Almost as bad as being back on the streets. But I'm here with you now, and I shouldn't be wasting my time worrying about those things when I can leave them behind me..."<br><br>But he couldn't. He couldn't leave them behind him, not so easily. <br><br>"We're going back to New York tomorrow, right?"<br><br>He didn't speak of the letter again - he wanted to read it, and he would, as soon as they were back in New York. But not tonight. Tonight wasn't the time for that. He turned to Darrien, snuggling up under his arm, curling up against his chest and looking up at him. The warm air swirled around them, heady and thick, bringing the scent of flowers up to them. He kissed Darrien gently, carefully, then pulled back. "Let's hop in bed, yeah? I think both of us could use the sleep."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>22-09-2010, 19:04:47</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Darrien allowed himself to relax in at Robbie’s touch and breathed in his scent, letting him tell him what was on his mind.<br><br>When he finished he tilted his chin upwards towards him.<br><br>“You’re not being an ass…I’m probably being over sensitive and yeah…the flights booked in the late afternoon so we don’t have too mad a drive back.”<br><br>Long drive, long day.<br><br>“You’ve done all you can and she just wants you to be happy. It’s normal for you to feel worried about your mother…it’s completely normal for you to hate that bastard. Nobody can just pretend that nothing happened, to completely forget what he did to you in such a short period of time. You need time…”<br><br>They both needed time and fourteen years on he was still a miserable, fickle bastard. May be some things didn’t change.<br><br>Allowing himself to be pulled into the kiss, Darrien reciprocated just as tenderly and at that moment he had an insane urge to tell Robbie all about Chris and ask for his understanding as if a seventeen year old ex-prostitute could give him absolution. The request teetered on the tip of his tongue for few moments before his new found courage gave out and retreated to his familiar cowardice once more.<br><br>“Sleep and bed are both great ideas,” he said softly and followed Robbie back to the bedroom, leaving behind the sweet aroma of the flowers that reminded him a little too much of his mother’s thick, cloying perfume. He was beginning to find the south claustrophobic.<br><br>Later as they lay side by side in the enveloping layers of the bed, Darrien brushed the young man’s hair from his face.<br><br>“You know I care about you, don’t you?”<br><br>He looked at Robbie earnestly for moment in the dark, where he could just about make out the profile of his face.<br><br>“I know I’m not very good at saying things like this but I just wanted you to know.” He closed his eyes and realised his heart was thumping noisily in his chest, so loudly in fact that he was surprised Robbie hadn’t said anything. Anyway he’d said it, he just hoped that his admission didn’t sound as awkward to the man beside him as it did to him.<br><br><br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>23-09-2010, 06:25:58</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Bed came as a relief. Darrien's words were a comfort, but he was still far too close to home, far too close to the horrors he'd just faced again and in his own mind was running away from again, albeit with a brighter future ahead of him. He turned over and pressed close to Darrien, listening to his heartbeat in the darkness, hearing his own match the other man's. He listened to the sounds of nature humming around them and what felt claustrophobic to Darrien felt enveloping to him and warm and he was nearly lulled into sleep when the other man spoke again. He let a shadow of a smile touch his lips as he wound his fingers with Darrien's and pressed up close so that they were nearly on top of one another.<br><br>"I know you do," he whispered back in the darkness, the cicada songs nearly drowning out his words. "I care about you too." <br><br>He wanted to say the other words...that he loved him...but he was scared Darrien would throw him away if he did. He'd said those words once to a client and he'd meant them. The man had left him without even paying and Robbie's room had been searched and his jaw dislocated the next day. <br><br>"I'm glad I'm with you."<br><br>His words carried the heavy peacefulness of sleep, and he sagged forwards, catching his dark head on his lover's shoulder. His hair smelled of flowers and dust, and his breathing slowly evened out, exhausted by the day's events.<br><br>Even when morning came, he slept late, molded up to Darrien's body.<br><br>He finally stirred, yawning, stretching his whole frame langorously as though he had the exquisite pleasure of leisure on his hands.<br><br>He sat up, then, almost immediately. "I start school right when I get back, don't I?" He knew they'd arrive in the evening, having time for a quick dinner, and then the next day...the next day he'd be off to his classes. He didn't want to go to school, but he did at the same time, choked by the fear that he wouldn't fit in. He knew he wouldn't fit in. He was different from all the other students in so many ways. <br><br>He got up and walked slowly to the window after putting on a pot of coffee, lighting a cigarette as he stood in only his boxers, taking in a deep breath and letting it escape him slowly. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>26-09-2010, 19:21:47</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Once the terror of his admission had subsided, Darrien drifted into a relaxed sleep. He always slept better with the young man next to him and yet the thought of the days ahead woke him early, hours before Robbie, but he didn’t move, not wanting to wake the figure drawn right against his body, looking so peaceful and shamelessly innocent.<br><br>He spent those early dawn hours thinking, strategising how he was going to explain Robbie to the Tribune, how they were going to react to him, how his normal ordered world would suddenly change.<br><br>He snorted.<br><br>Life had already changed. There had been nobody else in well over a month. They lived together and were a couple in everything but name and yet, the thought of coming out and being honest about his sexuality for the first time in his life terrified him more than anything he’d ever done before. Forty-eight hours, he told himself, two more days before he’d have to do it. There was, as ever, the coward’s option. Pretend that there was nothing to tell anyone, but the presence of an eighteen year old man in his hotel room during the European tour would be fairly difficult to explain away.<br><br>Ending the whole thing was another way out. He could go back to what he was before that God awful wet night, when he’d met Robbie in that brothel in the back streets of New York. He could just pretend nothing had happened. He was that straight guy again who never committed, discarded women, like yesterday’s newsprint and then secretly indulged himself with male escorts and prostitutes who reminded him of Chris.<br><br>That wasn’t the way he wanted to live, not anymore.<br><br>By the time the body next to him started move, rousing slowly from the last tendrils of sleep, Darrien had been analysing a few hours. He knew what he had to, or rather, wanted to do even though the thought still left him with a sick anxious feeling.<br><br>Robbie’s morning enthusiasm amused him, allowed him to push the more unpleasant thoughts to the back of his mind.<br><br>“First things first,” he replied with a smile, not bothering to dress as he joined Robbie on the balcony, his arms slipping easily around the naked waist. “You have your audition next week, then school starts in January, unless you’ve decided that you don’t want to come travelling with me?” He arched an eyebrow teasing the younger man.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>01-10-2010, 06:21:46</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				"Uh, God, my audition..." he mumbled, rubbing at his face with his hands. He couldn't help but be a bit nervous. The very idea of trying out for a school made him anxious. He was fairly certain that he'd get told 'no'. Afterall, talented as he was, things never went right for them. He almost felt like he didn't deserve for anything to go right for him. <br><br>He curled up against the other man's chest, taking in a deep sip of coffee from the mug he had reached out for, snuggling up against his chest. He kissed Darrien's shoulder with a pleased little smile, settling in against him, relaxing. <br><br>"And, no, I think I'll still go travelling with you," he murmured with a little smile, "You're not getting out of taking me that easily."<br><br>He laughed softly, then he wandered back into the hotel room, finding clothes. He slowly dressed himself in blue jeans, cut tight, some of the expensive ones the other man had bought for him. He ran his fingers back through his hair, lighting a cigarette, putting any thoughts from the day before out of his mind as he shrugged on a deep crimson button-down.<br><br>"Thanks for getting me all these clothes, by the way. They're really fantastic." <br><br>He sighed softly, letting out a breath of smoke, glancing back over his shoulder at Darrien. "Guess we should pack up our bags and head towards the airport, then..." he said, glancing at the clock. He didn't have much in his bag, anyways, at least not too much to pack up.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>06-10-2010, 14:26:16</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Driving back proved to be easier since the tension of travelling to a place neither of them had wanted to be had disappeared, even though it seemed to have left a bitter after taste. Traffic was relatively light, the temperature felt sultry and warm for December and a humid breeze caressed their faces as Darrien drove back to the airport.<br><br>He was still ignoring Monday, hoping that a divine intervention that he didn’t believe in might step in at the last minute and somehow resolve any issues that could come up. The best way, he had concluded, of ignoring his own concerns was to focus on Robbie’s.<br><br>“Audition song,” he said without preamble. “Thought of what you want to do yet? Jazz, gospel, pop…sultry?”<br><br>He gave Robbie a conspiratorial look at the last word before turning his attention back on to the road ahead. It was empty, so with a single motion he pressed his foot hard on the accelerator and felt the engine come alive. Houses, plantations, trees, all fled past in the distance as the red metal dial in front of nudged towards ninety. There was just under a hundred miles to go.<br><br>“I could help you practice if you like? We’ve got all day Sunday.”<br><br>There was a slightly hopeful tone to his voice. He hadn’t touched that piano in an age and it would be nice to get back into playing again, to feel the cool antique ivory keys under his fingers. He used t play in small chamber concerts at college and even in the army in the officer’s mess on a decrepit upright wooden piano that hadn’t been tuned in years as an accompaniment to the raucous karaoke evenings. It was his latest job at the Tribune that had effectively killed any opportunity to play, although the pessimistic part of him reminded him that if Monday went really badly he might get more time with his piano than he’d bargained for. <br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>09-10-2010, 06:49:27</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				"Maybe some gospel," Robbie said distractedly as he flicked the last butt of his cigarette onto the road, watching it tumble and burn out as a car far behind it squashed it down to the level of the road like a bug. He laughed softly, "But when we practice, I'll do something sultry, for you. I'd like to have you play piano for me to practice. I haven't heard you play yet - and you haven't heard me sing yet."<br><br>The thought of returning to New York had clearly cheered him a bit, and he relaxed into the car, wishing he had one like this of his own. School still seemed like a mess, but travelling would be wonderful, and Darrien would get him his passport.<br><br>"Since I've never been on a long flight and I'll probably be a bit nervous..."<br><br>He trailed off with a faint, husky laugh, "Maybe we can join the mile high club? It'll probably help relax me a little bit." He was still entirely unaccustomed to the luxury they were traveling in but he planned on enjoying it.<br><br>Maybe even a bit of heavy-drug related relaxation when they got back.<br><br>The thought made his stomach squirm. Darrien had worked so hard to prevent him from returning to drugs; maybe he'd stay off them. They called to him like a siren, but he knew he'd have to go back to the dirty little hovels he'd spent so much time in to get them, and he didn't want to risk getting caught again. <br><br>There was Europe; then school. This whole life seemed like something he'd dreamed up.<br><br>When they got to the airport he handed his baggage to the woman at the counter, ignoring her slightly baleful look that assured him she'd realized he was too old to be Darrien's son and that she had a good idea of what their relationship was, just looking at his tight (but not too-tight) jeans and his expensive sweater courtsey a la the shopping trip they'd taken.<br><br>He wandered through security with the slow, nervous little clumsy motions inexperienced travelers had, shooting a nasty look at a man who scoffed at him as he set off the metal detector due to his cellphone.<br><br>Once through security, he tugged Darrien to a Starbucks, getting himself a sweet, cream-topped hot chocolate with mocha in it. He purred at the taste, looking out the windows at dusty Louisiana, the heat shimmering in a thin layer on the tarmac.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>19-10-2010, 20:45:31</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				The mile high club made him smile and made him remember a particularly ardent air stewardess on an overnight flight from London to Doha, where he was due to cover the trade talks. They’d fooled around but Darrien’s early morning start had won out. She’d been disappointed, but he’d been relieved and consoled her with the leaving memento of his telephone number, which in fact were the digits of a defunct credit card.<br><br>And now?<br><br>Now, he was just terrified, a big leap of faith into the unknown.<br><br>From two timing lothario to gay poster child, who took in waifs and strays was a bit of a bizarre and unbelievable step to say the least, but as he sat next to Robbie on the flight home, he came to the even stranger realization that he didn’t regret the choices that he’d made over the past couple of months, it was just the fear of how this news was going to be received at work on Monday morning.<br><br>For the time being, he had another forty-eight hours to calm himself, so he downed his small, measly measure of airline scotch and intertwined his fingers with the young man next to him and didn’t even notice the busty, blond air hostess that had been desperate to get his attention since they’d boarded.<br><br>The next morning, relieved to be as far away as possible from repressive, heavy air of the Deep South, Darrien woke up early.<br><br>Still dark, he just lay for a few moments, reveling in the feel of the warm body, peacefully sleeping next to his and the sounds of the city distantly waking around him. Silence was unnatural. Darrien seemed to almost need the pollution from the sodium orange street lights, or the bleeps of the garbage truck to feel comfortable and sane. Silence was something you could have plenty of when he was dead, for now he wanted the white background noise that told him he lived in Manhattan that told him he was alive. Silence was for the stultifying hot Louisiana air that just smelt of decay, for people like his parents who liked to pretend that they lived the rural idyll in some fake hallmark painting of his mother’s.<br><br>His train of thought was digressing down a dark path he usually liked to avoid.<br><br>Darrien opened his eyes fully and realizing the last vestiges of sleep had fled, slowly and quietly got up, taking care not to wake Robbie.<br><br>Before leaving the bedroom, his eye caught the unopened envelope that was written in his mother’s careful hand and left it on the pillow with note.<br><br><em>Read if you want to…D x</em><br><br>With a last look at Robbie, he walked out towards his sitting room and then went to do something he hadn’t done for years. He sat at his piano and softly started to play the opening phrases of Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>04-11-2010, 23:25:28</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie woke quietly, running fingers through his hair, yawning. It had been a stressful trip but now it all felt like a dream; he was comfortable under the soft blankets that Darrien had laid out. He liked that he had a bed he was sharing with someone, and when he woke up, the sheets still smelled like the other man's shampoo and aftershave and held a touch of his body heat. <br><br>It was eerie, waking up to Moonlight Sonata, with the letter under his cheek.<br><br>He fingered the edge of the envelope and looked at the note; part of him thought about how he shouldn't invade Darrien's privacy but his curiosity, something his mother had always said would kill him, slowly got the best of him. <br><br>He ripped open the letter, slowly letting his eyes glance over it, frowning slightly. <br><br>He could hear the piano in the background, and he let the torn paper unfold, holding it close.<br><br>He let his eyes drift open and started to read.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>15-11-2010, 15:58:38</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<em>My Dear Son,<br><br>It pains me to write this letter to you knowing that you will doubtless ignore it just like you have done with the others, but it is a mother’s duty to do what others refuse and save her youngest son from the evil temptations that he’s not strong enough to avoid by himself.<br><br>Your father says you are beyond such things and that corruption is at your very core, but as a mother I cannot accept that your soul is beyond redemption. I know that you have it in you to change and to accept what is right. Deep down, I’m sure that you are also disgusted by what you have become. You just need look at your brother’s strength and learn from him. He will help you, if you ask him.<br><br>I always think of you around this time of year, when it is close to Christmas and remember you as you were before the incident at school. You were such a sweet natured boy, popular, friendly, always wanting to please everyone, intelligent and loyal. I now understand that we were as much to blame for what happened as you were. We were too blinkered and naïve, not wanting to accept that a young man from a good family could be so wicked. Maybe if we had realized sooner we could have protected you from the illness that he had and then infected you with.<br><br>I hope you like the picture at the top of this letter. It is my latest. You were on my mind when I painted it imagining you with a good, wholesome wife living inside the thatched cottage with the pretty garden.<br><br>I pray that you will find the strength to come and seek our help.<br><br>All my love,<br><br>Mother </em><br><br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>15-11-2010, 18:22:02</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie read through the letter and while his first reaction was a derisive snort as he tossed it over his shoulder in a crumpled heap, he could tell that the mother still loved her child, and it hurt. It reminded him of his own situation in some ways; his own mother wanted to help him but was utterly unable to do so. He knew his mother still prayed for him every day; she prayed that he would get clean and stop selling himself and that he'd somehow manage to stumble his way into Heaven. <br><br>He sighed, picking the letter back up, looking at it. Still, the fact that Darrien's mother was so unwilling to accept her son as he was made her a bad mother in Robbie's eyes. He looked it over a few more times, realizing that it was indeed near Christmas.<br><br>Did Darrien ever miss his family?<br><br>He wondered if Darrien ever wanted to get together with his family for a Christmas dinner; if that was something that he still desired after all of these years. He sighed softly and rolled off of the bed, getting to feet, stretching himself out. <br><br>He came into the living room, wrapping his arms around Darrien from behind, "You don't sound too shabby," he said with a quiet laugh, nuzzling Darrien's shoulder. He hummed a few bars of the notes the other man was playing, voice a bit rapsy, just enough to add a bit of edge to what was otherwise an oddly angelic voice. <br><br>"I read the letter, by the way; if it makes you feel any better, you'll probably be on a higher level of Hell than I will." He smiled faintly, hummed a few more notes, and glanced at the paper still crumpled in the doorway to the bedroom, "I was thinking of singing a more pop-like song. Something a bit jazzy; I wanna sing something happy. I was thinking 'Fuck You', by Cee Lo Green. Think you could play it?"
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Larrinia</strong> on <strong>17-11-2010, 19:20:43</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“Well, good morning to you too, sorry if I woke you,” Darrien smiled softly in response and continued playing as he leant in to prolong the contact.<br><br>The mood slightly soured though at the mention of the letter, but he’d been preparing himself for it ever since Robbie had mentioned the damn thing.<br><br>“I could play it,” he said just as he started on initial chords of the jazzy, slightly sixties feel of the recent pop song, “but don’t you think you should go for something will slightly more conservative lyrics as well?”<br><br>He launched into Dinah Washington’s “Mad about the Boy”, but stopped abruptly, the good mood of minutes before, now completely gone.<br><br>“My level of hell would be lower than yours.”<br><br>It was said with quiet certainty.<br><br>The piano keys seemed to have suddenly become very interesting to Darrien. He was about to come out to his work colleagues tomorrow, so height as well tell Robbie, give him a chance to say if he didn’t want anything to do with him.<br><br>“I’d be on a lower level of hell, because it was my fault that Chris died.”<br><br>It was fourteen years ago but speaking about it hadn’t become any easier through the passage of time.<br><br>“My parents put pressure on me, crap excuse I know and I went back to school after we were caught together and I shunned him. I said that it was all his fault…that I was the unwilling accomplice. I didn’t get expelled like he did…just suspended for a couple of weeks…parents still disowned me though…paid the rest of my school fees, but I only went home once after that….it was clear they didn’t want to have anything to do with somebody like me…”<br><br>Darrien squeezed his eyes shut to stop the tears. He hadn’t cried in fourteen years and wasn’t going to start now. It was stupid, he’d thought once he’d said it, he’d feel better, but the guilt he’d been ignoring over the past month, came back in full force.<br><br>“I was an absolute bastard Robbie…sure you still feel the same way about me?” <br><br>However hard he tried he couldn’t stop the hesitancy and the slight quiver to his words.<br><br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hard Knocks [Larrinia and Sho]</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Sho</strong> on <strong>01-12-2010, 14:41:26</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Robbie didn't separate his body from the other man's, sliding onto the bench next to him, a slim arm snaking around Darrien's waist as he listened to him speaking quietly. He nuzzled his head into the other man's shoulder, letting out a soft breath, pressing up close against the other man's side. He winced as he heard the other man's story; it was hard to see but he knew that the other man was still in pain because of it.<br><br>He knew that this had been the young man in the photo; he knew that the other man had been profoundly affected by Chris' death. <br><br>He couldn't imagine what it would have felt like to be Chris.<br><br>He could understand why the man had hung himself; he didn't say anything to that effect, though. He merely wrapped his body around the other man's and looked up at the other man with a hint of a sad smile. <br><br>"Of course I still feel the same way about you. You made a mistake, Darrien...you were both young. I'm not saying what you did was right, but...it was in the past, and everyone makes mistakes in their lives. It wasn't entirely your fault that Chris killed himself; plenty of people survive things worse than getting kicked out of school." <br><br>He let his fingers massage the back of the other man's neck, "Plus, considering all you've decided to overlook about me, I think I can forgive the way you acted that long ago." <br><br>His warm body pressed against the other man, snuggling close, the two of them twined together on the couch.
			</dd>
		</dl>
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