Be my catcher... (roninc30)
<h1 id="title">Elliquiy Role Playing Forums</h1>
		<h2 id="linktree">Play-By-Post: Bondage, D/s, S&amp;M =&gt; Bondage: Human Solos =&gt; Topic started by: Saku on 07-01-2011, 02:41:29</h2>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Saku</strong> on <strong>07-01-2011, 02:41:29</strong>
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				<div class="floatleft">(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v376/nemaatkd/blondeyepatch.jpg)</div> <div align="center"><span style="font-size: 1.45em;" class="bbc_size">« Cameron »</span></div><span style="font-size: 0.7em;" class="bbc_size">-Too shy to admit love...- </span><br><div align="center">-</div><br>Cameron's mother had been a druggie and his father had been an alcoholic. It was a wonder the teen wasn't fucked up, coming from such a background. But he managed to entertain and keep himself busy for the most part.<br><br>Of course it probably helped that Sean, his best friend, always liked to hang out with him whenever he had free time. The two of them would meet up, Sean would lend him a baseball glove and they would head out to a nearby field to practice the sport. Cameron grew to look forward to those times because it allowed him to release stress.<br><br>If Sean hadn't been there, he might have gone insane. But it was also more than that, over the years, the blond had started to depend on his friend. More than was normal for a kid his age. He was too young to 'fall in love'.<br><br>But if he had been older, that was what it would have been classified as. And then it happened. Sean moved away with his parents on his fourteenth birthday, leaving Cameron behind without his best friend and anchor to sanity. He couldn't believe it at first. They had been inseparable and it was like waking up to a bad dream.<br><br>He tried his best to survive without Sean but in the end he fell into a deep depression. As stress built up he ended up turning to the drugs his mother used and soon began to steal them from right under her zonked out nose.<br><br>It wasn't as if she would know he was taking them and even then she couldn't do anything about it because she was so stoned. As the years passed he grew addicted to the drugs, consuming at least three quarters of everything his mother picked up. As a result, his mother started getting more conscious and aware of her surroundings.<br><br>On the other hand, Cameron started deteriorating rapidly. The drugs helped him forget about pitching for his best friend and having Sean catch his pitches. He didn't have to recall the horrible time when Sean had left him all alone.<br><br>Floating in a peaceful world of his own making, Cameron was satisfied for the most part. A few months later, his father kicked him out into the streets, telling him that having one druggie family member was bad enough and he wouldn't put up with it. But he also informed him that as soon as he got a job he could come back to the house.<br><br>Obviously because he wanted Cameron's money for booze. Now, in the present time, the blond was living out on the streets with nothing but an eye-patch over his right eye and the drugs he'd stolen from his mother in a bag stuffed inside his jacket. It had been one week since he'd been thrown out of the house and lately he had been hallucinating that Sean had returned for him. What a lovely dream.. if only it could be real. He sighed, raising his amber eyes to the sky and wished he could return to those days..<br><br><div align="center">-</div><div style="text-align: right;"><span style="font-size: 0.7em;" class="bbc_size">-Too shy to accept love...-</span></div>
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				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>roninc30</strong> on <strong>07-01-2011, 06:15:24</strong>
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				(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v611/roninc30/brown2-1.jpg)<br><br>Sean looked around helplessly.&nbsp; There were homeless people everywhere - on park benches, curled up in the bushes, under the bridge.&nbsp; He'd never find Cameron and with every passing moment, he felt a little more desperate.<br><br>He'd missed his best friend since the day he'd moved.&nbsp; They'd promised to keep in touch, but his parents had put a stop to that, telling Sean he'd become 'too attached' to the other boy and it was time to go out and meet some nice girls.&nbsp; They hadn't allowed him to even email Cameron and for years, Sean had been sure Cameron had simply forgotten him.<br><br>That was, until four days ago.&nbsp; He'd been on his way to a new job in New York and had decided to stop by and see if the boy who'd been his best friend so long ago still remembered him or not.&nbsp; He was faced with Cameron's angry parents - one drunk and the other zoned on out something that Sean didn't even want to guess it.&nbsp; They were worse than Sean remembered - and they'd actually thrown Cameron out on the streets.&nbsp; When they claimed Cameron was nothing but a no good worthless drug addict now, he hadn't believed it at first.&nbsp; As a young boy he'd told Sean again and again that he didn't want to end up like his parents, but with no one else to look up to, it seemed all too possible he'd fallen into that same trap.<br><br>Sean had long ago cut off ties with his own parents when he'd told them he was gay and he'd never looked back.&nbsp; He'd worked, put himself through school and competed for a plum job in New York.&nbsp; He had to report for work in exactly one week, so he knew finding Cameron was something that had to happen NOW.&nbsp; Hopefully, he wouldn't be too bad off.&nbsp; Maybe he could even go to New York with Sean and get rehab, though, knowing Cameron, it wouldn't be that easy.<br><br>Sighing, he turned and headed down the next street where a small city of boxes had been set up.&nbsp; He had no intention of leaving until he'd found his best friend...and the boy he'd realized he'd been in love with nearly his entire life.&nbsp; Being forced to leave him behind had hurt far more than it should have.&nbsp; When his parents later confessed that the only reason they moved was to get him away from Cameron, Sean had been 18 and still thinking about Cameron every single day.&nbsp; That's all it had taken for him to tell his parents the truth...and move out that same day.&nbsp; He'd crashed with friends until he'd graduated high school, then got a job waiting tables...and still thinking of Cameron.<br><br>When he'd reached the end of the alleyway, having looked in every single box along the way, he turned and saw a bridge up ahead.&nbsp; There was a figure there, hunched high up in the small space between the road and the slope of the concrete that lead to the road and something about the posture made Sean's breath catch in his throat.<br><br>Instead of walking, he ran the short distance to the bridge and climbed up the steep incline beneath it, scuffing his brand new shoes&nbsp; and tearing a hole in the knees of his dark pants.&nbsp; The man there wasn't the boy he remembered.&nbsp; He looked haggard and worn...and as stoned as a man could possibly be and still be breathing.&nbsp; <br><br>He didn't have to ask who this was.&nbsp; Though nothing looked like the Cameron he remembered, Sean knew in his heart this was his best friend.&nbsp; "Cameron," he whispered, sinking to his knees beside the other man.&nbsp; "Cameron, it's Sean.&nbsp; I've come to take you home with me."
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Saku</strong> on <strong>09-01-2011, 06:14:03</strong>
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				Of course if Sean had sent him letters, emails or even called, it might have made a difference. Perhaps he wouldn't have resorted to drugs to deal with his shitty life.<br><br>Or maybe things would have turned out the same. Now it was too late and Cameron was zoned out on whatever stuff his mother had.<br><br>He was actually feeling quite indifferent at the moment. There was a bit of bittersweet happiness there too in his brain as he thought about Sean coming to 'rescue' him and take him away from this madness. Due to the drugs he was using, he could even picture what Sean might look like now and he laughed somewhat hoarsely. Cameron hadn't used his voice in quite some time, not seeing the need in doing so often. He didn't interact with anyone and only needed to greet people now and then.<br><br>What was the point in talking when he didn't really want to say anything? Sean - the real Sean - had probably forgotten him over the years, he wouldn't be too surprised.<br><br>That or he had lost interest in being his friend. After all, why wouldn't he stay in touch if he cared about him? Yeah, that had to be the reason.<br><br>Cameron blinked when Sean appeared before him and it took him a few minutes to realize what the other male had said. It was strange, for some reason he was having difficulty comprehending the words spoken. Usually in his hallucinations they didn't say much and the two of them simply hugged and went off to play catch together. Then, the scene ended with Sean leaning over to kiss him and when the blond opened his eyes again he would see reality once more and go take some more drugs.<br><br>To get that feeling back. So why was this Sean talking to him and not hugging him or asking him to play catch? It didn't make much sense but he figured it was Sean.<br><br>So he would play along until the drugs wore off. "Yah... alright. But first we gotta play some catch." Cameron said in a slow but careful manner.<br><br>It was as if he was trying to get the words right. To not mess up. Sean was dressed differently than before too but he looked nearly the same as the other times he had 'seen' Sean in his hallucinations and dreams. He wondered idly just how much longer the drugs would last before he would have to take more to keep Sean with him. It wasn't as if he had anywhere to be or anything to do. After all, his parents had kicked him out - or rather his father since his mother was too stoned to notice.<br><br>Therefore, there wasn't much he was expected to do which was nice in a way. No one would yell at him to do the household chores since his mother wasn't able to.<br><br>Nor would he hear the bitching about needing to work more often to bring home more money. He knew his father would waste it on alcohol.<br><br>Why work when he wasn't going to get any of it? It was much easier to simply rely on the drugs he got for free from his mother. Hell, he even had a system going on. It didn't even matter if his father wouldn't let him in the house because Cameron still had a key, he'd never given it up and the man had completely forgotten. When his father left for work, Cameron tended to head home and steal more drugs from his mother to replenish his supply, so he could keep seeing Sean. It all worked out perfectly.<br><br>He'd been living like this for the past week and nothing much had changed. The plan would only fall apart if his father ever lost his job which unfortunately was highly likely.
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>roninc30</strong> on <strong>10-01-2011, 17:09:22</strong>
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				It was killing Sean to see Cameron like this.&nbsp; But when Cameron said they needed to play catch, it was as if all the years between the time Sean had been forced to leave and now had never happened.&nbsp; Cam remembered him after all.&nbsp; The relief Sean felt was like the weight of the world being lifted off his shoulders.&nbsp; <br><br>Kneeling beside Cameron and mindless of the smell of dirt, sweat and alcohol, Sean hugged Cameron closer and tightly.&nbsp; "We can play all the catch you want," he promised softly.&nbsp; "But first we've got to get you straightened up and cleaned up.&nbsp; I...God, I was so afraid you'd forgotten me, Cam."&nbsp; <br><br>Still holding his friend tightly with one arm, Sean leaned back just enough to let their gazes meet.&nbsp; His free hand moved up and rested on the side of Cameron's face, gently holding it still.&nbsp; "I've missed you every single day of my life since we left this place," he confided.&nbsp; "I'm so sorry I didn't stay in touch.&nbsp; My parents...they wouldn't let me, and I'd convinced myself you'd found another best friend - and someone else to play catch with and you wouldn't miss me like I was missing you."&nbsp; <br><br>His fingers combed through Cameron's dirty hair as he spoke and shook his head.&nbsp; His eyes moved over his best friend's face and he saw just how bad things must have gotten, all written in the lines and dirty creases that shouldn't be on a man Cameron's age for another twenty years.<br><br>Sean's gaze lingered on Cameron's eye patch for a moment, wondering what happened.&nbsp; "I'm not leaving this time, though, not without you," he continued, fighting the urge to lean in and kiss the other man, dirt and all.&nbsp; "Now....can you walk?&nbsp; My car's just down the block.&nbsp; I'm going to take you back to my hotel, get you a shower and some food and we'll figure something out from there."<br><br>Without thinking, he kissed Cameron's forehead, arm still around him, unwilling to let him go even for a minute.
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Saku</strong> on <strong>15-01-2011, 21:41:26</strong>
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				Sean hugged him like he always did and Cameron melted into the embrace. Yet for some reason, today it felt different than normal and his brow furrowed with confusion.<br><br>It was only when Sean continued to speak that the blond realized this wasn't a hallucination. Sean was actually here beside him in person.<br><br>But he couldn't process anything further due to the drug's influence. Well shit. Cameron had so much he wanted to say but he couldn't express the words in a coherent manner. The stress combined with relief, anger and the chemicals roaming about in his body suddenly ended up making his body shut down. A few seconds later, Cameron slipped into unconsciousness. Fortunately for Sean, the kiss to the forehead had happened <em>after</em> he had passed out. The blond had been through a rough day.<br><br>One hour later, he woke up on a comfortable mattress with clean sheets. At first, he wasn't sure what to think and wondered if he had somehow fallen asleep at home.<br><br>That wasn't good, if his father returned and he was still there Cameron would be punished severely by him. He needed to leave immediately.<br><br>But when he swung his legs off the bed, the blond paused and blinked at the room. Why did it not look familiar at all? It took him a few seconds but he managed to come to the realization that this wasn't his parents house. No, it belonged to someone else but why would a stranger take him in? Cameron staggered over to the door and opened it to look out, catching a glimpse of the one person he hadn't expected to see in reality without the influence of drugs in his system. Sean. His beloved Sean.<br><br>He froze, bracing himself up against the wall for support. "Sean..." Cameron murmured, the word a mere rasp and not very loud. Why was his former best friend here?
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>roninc30</strong> on <strong>16-01-2011, 17:43:26</strong>
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				Sean jumped to his feet and smiled at Cameron.&nbsp; A moment later, he'd crossed the room and was standing beside him.&nbsp; He couldn't help it....the next thing he knew, his arms were around his best friend again in a quick hug that he simply didn't want to end.&nbsp; <br><br>"God, I've missed you Cam," he murmured.&nbsp; Finally he pulled away and took a step back.&nbsp; Cameron looked a little better, but still, he looked like hell.&nbsp; The drugs had aged him in ways Sean didn't even want to think about.&nbsp; Still, it was just so good to see him, that pretty much outweighed everything else.&nbsp; No matter what had happened they were together again - best friends forever - and they could fix this, make it all better somehow.&nbsp; Maybe, if Sean could get Cam to forgive him, they could even be more than friends one day - well, if Cameron swung that way and was interested.&nbsp; <br><br>One could always hope, Sean thought longingly.<br><br>But first, he had so many questions.&nbsp; Why had Cam turned to drugs?&nbsp; What happened to his eye?&nbsp; What could he do to help?&nbsp; Why had he passed out?&nbsp; Why was he homeless with no job and...<br><br>Sean took a deep breath and shook his head.&nbsp; Reaching down, he took Cameron's hand and tugged gently, leading him over to the couch.&nbsp; "Come sit with me.&nbsp; We have a lot to talk about.&nbsp; I've got a million questions, and I'm sure you do too...and I have one hell of an apology to make."
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				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Saku</strong> on <strong>16-01-2011, 20:03:33</strong>
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				Sean's arms were around him before he could blink. He felt comforted by the gesture since it was a lot like his hallucinations. But then he frowned, trying to process things.<br><br>That's right. Sean had come back to him. The real Sean and he found himself sluggish instead of overjoyed. What the hell was wrong with him?<br><br>Cameron's amber eyes were dull and almost lifeless due to the amount of drugs he had consumed. But he wanted to show Sean he was glad the other male had returned. Somehow. Sean stepped back shortly after the hug and the blond wondered if his best friend was disgusted with him. He wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. After all, he was nothing like he used to be and knew it, even as fucked up as he was. Cameron glanced down at his hand when Sean took hold of it and tugged gently.<br><br>He allowed himself to be led over to the couch and took a seat on the furniture as requested. It wasn't as if he could do much else at the moment, he wasn't in good shape.<br><br>Of all the reunions he had come up with in his mind, this was the worst one. Cameron hadn't wanted Sean to see him in this state. Not ever.<br><br>But he had and there was nothing he could do about it now. "No need." The blond managed to get out when his friend wanted to apologize. Maybe at first he had been mad at Sean but over the years that emotion had been lost. He couldn't blame Sean for wanting to leave this place. "Might have been nice if...you had written..." That much would have been nice. It would have let him know the man was safe and not dead. But the past couldn't be changed and what had happened was fate. It didn't matter.<br><br>Not anymore. He felt the craving start deep in his stomach but he ignored it. Cameron tended to use drugs after he ate, mid and late afternoon and also in the evening.<br><br>However, he tried not to use in the morning because he needed some mobility early on so he could head to his parents house to get more.<br><br>Cameron scratched his head as he looked over at Sean with his visible amber eye. "What are you doing here?" He asked, wondering why Sean had come back. It couldn't be because of him or else he would have returned sooner. It had been years since they had last seen eachother, more than enough time for Sean to write, email, call or come to see him and yet he hadn't. Not until now. So the reason Sean had returned was not because of him in his mind. It had to be for something else. Something in this area.<br><br>But what? He couldn't really think straight anymore due to the influence of drugs in his system. "What did you need from this place that you had to come all the way back?"
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>roninc30</strong> on <strong>16-01-2011, 21:15:16</strong>
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				Sean kept hold of Cameron's hand when they sat, though he didn't even realize it.&nbsp; He couldn't stop looking at his friend and despite everything, he could still see a glimmer of the boy he'd left behind.&nbsp; The eyes were duller now, and he was dirty, but it was still Cameron....his Cameron, the only person he'd ever really loved unconditionally.<br><br>"I came back for you, Cam," he said softly, looking down where their hands joined.&nbsp; "I tried writing, I tried emailing, but my parents...they wouldn't let me.&nbsp; They took the letters and burned them and watched every little thing I did on the computer.&nbsp; By the time I left them for good, I thought....well, I was pretty sure you'd forgotten me.&nbsp; I thought about you every day and eventually I realized that even when I left, I was..."&nbsp; <br><br>Sean closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip for a moment, embarrassed, but not willing to lie to Cameron.&nbsp; "We were best friends for so long, Cam; then when we got older, I started seeing you differently.&nbsp; I got....got kind of a crush on you.&nbsp; That's why my parents packed up and made us leave.&nbsp; By then, I was sure you'd moved on and would just think of me as some kid you used to hang out with, so...I was scared to come back.&nbsp; I was scared you'd be married with kids or something and would wonder what the hell I wanted to meet up with you again for. "<br><br>He took a deep breath and continued, his face burning, but his eyes finally turning up to look at his friend's face.&nbsp; "Then I got a job in New York.&nbsp; I couldn't come through here and not at least stop and see you.&nbsp; When your father told me he'd...that you didn't have a place to live, I decided right then that I'd find you, tell you how I felt and see what I could do to help.&nbsp; So...."&nbsp; He shrugged and wiped his free hand over his eyes.&nbsp; "Here I am.&nbsp; And I'm not leaving you this time, not until you're better and you tell me to go."<br><br>....and maybe not even then, he added silently, hopefully, to himself.
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Saku</strong> on <strong>17-01-2011, 00:27:30</strong>
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				How could he have come back for <em>him</em>? That was the only reason? It didn't make sense to Cameron until Sean explained everything to him. So it had been Sean's parents?<br><br>Not being able to help the surge of irrational rage, his nostrils flared and his hands clenched into fists. But he wasn't able to do much more.<br><br>After all Cameron had been under the influence of drugs for years now. It didn't just go away because Sean had returned for him unexpectedly. He moved sluggishly now since he felt high all the time. But other than that, his bodily functions still seemed to work and he thought his health was relatively good. For the most part. Cameron listened to Sean as his best friend continued to speak and confessed his true feelings for him. A faint smile came to his lips but it seemed to go unnoticed by Sean. It didn't matter.<br><br>"Idiot. I could never forget you." He managed to say and leaned over to kiss Sean directly on the lips. Cameron's arms went around Sean's neck and held his head close.<br><br>The action wasn't as great as he wanted it to be because halfway through, he ended up falling against Sean. Damn, how lame could he be?<br><br>"Sorry..." He muttered, still leaning up against Sean's chest. It felt so good to be here, inhaling his friend's scent. That in itself was like a drug to him, since Cameron had started to fantasize about them being together only a year after they had first met. He'd managed to keep the secret well, being somewhat well informed for a kid his age back then. Apparently, Sean hadn't picked up on it although it seemed his parents had. "Damn parents..." He growled as his hands curled into fists once more.<br><br>Cameron looked over at Sean, remembering part of what he had said a few seconds ago. "You said you have a job now? Here?" He asked, forgetting what Sean had said.
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>roninc30</strong> on <strong>17-01-2011, 01:38:30</strong>
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				Sean was surprised by the kiss, but was after a fraction of a second, the shock wore off.&nbsp; Just as he was about to return it, Cameron fell against him.<br><br>Now that he was this close though, Sean didn't want to let him go.&nbsp; He leaned back on the couch, pulled Cameron up in his lap and rested their foreheads together.&nbsp; "I've not seen or talk to to my parents in years because of what they did," he said softly, loving having Cameron in his arms, finally, after so many years of missing him.&nbsp; <br><br>His arms snaked around Cameron's waist and locked just over his hip.&nbsp; "The job is in New York," he reminded Cameron.&nbsp; "I want you to come with me.&nbsp; We can get you off.....off whatever it is you're taking and maybe....I don't know....maybe pick up where we left off?"<br><br>He leaned forward just a little and kissed Cameron's cheek.&nbsp; "We'll see a doctor.&nbsp; You can live with me, we can find a rehab&nbsp; program or....or something.&nbsp; Or if you don't want to leave, I can stay here with you or..."&nbsp; He sighed, backed up enough to see Cameron's face and shook his head. <br><br>"Look, I need to tell you I'm crazy about you and I want to help you.&nbsp; These drugs...Cam, they're killing you.&nbsp; So will you please let me help you?&nbsp; And then....it's up to you what happens after that.&nbsp; Friends, or...or something more...or I can just go if that's what you want.&nbsp; But I'm not leaving until you get cleaned up."
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Saku</strong> on <strong>17-01-2011, 17:34:34</strong>
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				Cameron's arms came out to wrap tightly around Sean's waist, almost as if he was afraid to stop touching him. He didn't want this vision to leave him all alone here.<br><br>Not again. He blinked when Sean told him the job was in the next city over. Oh, yeah that's right. But Sean wanted him to travel with him?<br><br>He didn't know if that was wise, considering his current condition. If it had been in the past, he would have done so regardless of whoever and whatever tried to stop him but now things were different. Yet it was tempting and Sean promised to help him try and get off the drugs he had an addiction to. Of course Cameron knew it wouldn't be easy but then nothing worth fighting for was ever easy. The only thing he wanted to do was be with Sean and he would give up anything for that to happen.<br><br>The only reason he'd started taking drugs in the first place was because Sean had left him. They had been a substitute for his best friend and now he didn't need them.<br><br>But they wouldn't let him go without putting him through a vicious fight. "Are you sure about this?" He asked, looking up at the young man.<br><br>Did Sean really want to give up a part of his life for him? Would he have the patience to stick by his side until the end and more importantly would he want to pursue a relationship with him afterward? Most people who said they did, only could last until the addiction wore off and by that time they were so exhausted they ended up leaving later on. He didn't want to get better, only to have Sean disappear on him. Nor did he want to be a nuisance to the boy he had loved since middle school. It wouldn't be fair.<br><br>Cameron's expression darkened when the possibility of staying here was mentioned. "I don't want to live in this shit hole any longer than I have to." He told Sean seriously.<br><br>It was the first thing he'd said with some sort of impact. He winced as his craving returned with a vengeance and knew it was nearing time.<br><br>"I need a little something to keep me going...then we can go." The blond murmured, his amber eyes flickering off to the side as if he was embarrassed by his declaration. Then, he turned and shuffled away as he headed for the bathroom, having kept his supply of drugs on him at all times. After all, there was always the possibility of someone stealing it from him while he slept or was high. Take a look at his mother. He didn't want Sean to see him in this state though so he wanted to do it out of view.<br><br>Deciding on one of the lighter drugs, so he wouldn't get mad fucked up after taking it, he snorted the powder up into his nose. The craving faded almost instantly.<br><br>Now only a sense of satisfaction remained and Cameron let out a soft sigh of relief, closing his eyes for a few moments as he lost himself.<br><br>He wanted to quit but wasn't sure if he was strong enough to do so. What if Sean left him because it got to be too much? He would probably delve right back into drugs, so what was the point of trying to come clean if Sean wasn't going to survive it with him anyway? Cameron chewed on his lip as he thought about it and hoped Sean wouldn't end up disappearing on him again. He wasn't sure if he could stand it a second time, especially when it would be different this time around with no parents to get in their way.
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>roninc30</strong> on <strong>17-01-2011, 18:51:22</strong>
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				The last thing Sean wanted to do was let Cameron go - and go take drugs at that, but he knew getting him off the damn things wasn't going to be easy.&nbsp; He watched as his friend left the room, then ran a hand over his face as soon as Cameron was out of sight.&nbsp; <br><br>It was killing him to see his friend this way.&nbsp; Cameron was far too skinny and he just didn't look well.&nbsp; That didn't matter to Sean, as long as he was healthy, but...was he?&nbsp; Sean had absolutely no idea.&nbsp; Did he inject drugs?&nbsp; Had he caught something?&nbsp; Was his healthy enough to detox?&nbsp; Did he even want to?<br><br>Damn, there were just so many questions!<br><br>Deciding they could talk about it in the car on the drive up to his new apartment, along with treatment programs and future plans, he waited patiently for Cameron to return.&nbsp; Sean knew this wasn't going to be easy, and he knew it was going to take a lot of time and effort on both their parts.&nbsp; He knew he was going to see his beloved Cameron at his worst.&nbsp; The thought occurred to him that it might not even be possible to do this with his new job, but if he had to decide between Cameron and the job....<br><br>Well, that was an easy enough decision.&nbsp; There were other jobs, but there was only one Cameron in the world.&nbsp; <br><br>"Hey, we've got a lot to talk about," he said, speaking just loudly enough so that Cameron could hear him in the next room, not wanting to think about what he was doing in there.&nbsp; "I've got these rooms until noon today.&nbsp; Do you want to sit here and talk or talk in the car?"
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Saku</strong> on <strong>21-01-2011, 01:08:38</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				He returned shortly afterward and flashed Sean a weak smile. Good, Sean was still here and it hadn't been a hopeful dream of his. That had always been a possibility.<br><br>Cameron thought of Sean nearly all the time so it wouldn't be a stretch to have come up with something like this in his mind. Not in the least.<br><br>The blond went to the door and opened it as he looked back over his shoulder at Sean. "You coming?" He asked, cracking a faint smile, a glimmer of his old self showing through the years of drug abuse and stress. It seemed as if the old Cameron was still somewhere inside the worn shell of a man he appeared to be outwardly. If Sean was patient and worked hard, perhaps he could get his friend back. Cameron went down the stairs, hanging onto the side railing to make sure he didn't end up tripping and falling down.<br><br>Oh yes, that would be quite lovely to show his old friend. No, Cameron would die of shame if he managed to do something that mortifying in front of the man he loved.<br><br>It wasn't as if he was unable to walk properly. He just was a bit dizzy right now, that was all. The blond wanted to talk but he couldn't do both.<br><br>Not at the same time. So he continued to concentrate on walking until they reached Sean's car and Cameron slid into the passenger side with a soft sigh of relief. Now that he was relaxing, he glanced over at Sean when he got into the driver's side. "So you said you have a job in New York? What kind of job?" He asked, wondering what Sean was up to now. Cameron had given up on doing anything with his life after Sean had left him and didn't think he could do much of anything anymore. He'd missed out on chances.<br><br>They wouldn't be coming around again, not unless he knew someone important which he didn't. Even if he had happened to have connections in the past he didn't remember.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>roninc30</strong> on <strong>22-01-2011, 01:48:50</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Sean had to fight the urge not to grab Cameron has he walked a bit unsteadily toward the car.&nbsp; More than once, he wanted to just slip under Cam's arm and hold him close, but Cam seemed determined to do this on his own.<br><br>They made it to the car thankfully without incident, and Sean slid in behind the wheel.&nbsp; They were backing out of the parking lot a minute later, and Sean stopped only to give the hotel room to the valet standing beside the hotel's front door.&nbsp; He wasn't willing to leave Cameron alone even long enough to go inside.<br><br>"It's a job with a law firm," he answered.&nbsp; "I just passed the bar three months ago and heard about a position there.&nbsp; All the partners are getting older, so they're looking for some fresh blood to come in and learn how they do things.&nbsp; I didn't think I had a chance at getting hired, but they called me the day after I interviewed and told me I'd start next week."<br><br>Keeping one hand on the wheel, he reached over and closed the fingers of his free hand over Cameron's.&nbsp; "But we need to get you some food first, then we'll find you a doctor or clinic or something that can help get you off this stuff.&nbsp; Just remember, I'm not leaving you this time, Cam.&nbsp; I'm going to help you get through this, but you've got to want to do it."&nbsp; <br><br>He stole a quick glance at his friend and nodded.&nbsp; "You do want off the drugs, don't you, Cam?&nbsp; And you do know why I came back for you?"
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Saku</strong> on <strong>24-01-2011, 06:56:00</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Cameron felt better with the drugs in his system but he was still somewhat conscious and aware. He nodded when Sean informed him his new job was with a law firm.<br><br>"Nice. I always knew you'd be going somewhere important. Congratulations." It was the truth. He had never thought Sean would become a nobody.<br><br>Not like Cameron. "I'm glad you managed to achieve your goal." Even though years had passed, he remembered his friend's interest in law and it seemed Sean had stuck with it to the end. He looked over at Sean when the man reached over and squeezed his hand. "A fast food burger would be great. I don't really eat that much anymore. The drugs keep me occupied." Cameron said with a sigh, after all burgers had nutrients and they were relatively cheap, only a dollar or so from McDonalds. Not too much at all.<br><br>It wasn't as if he could afford to buy anything else. He didn't have a place to stay and he disliked being around people when he had drugs on him. What if they stole them?<br><br>He nodded but didn't say anything when Sean told him he wasn't going to leave him. Cameron wanted to trust him but wasn't sure if he could just yet.<br><br>Of course he knew Sean had good intentions but he couldn't predict what would happen in the future. However, he was here and that was what mattered and Cameron sighed to himself. Well, what was the worst that could happen? Sean would leave and Cameron would be right back where he had started. So, best not get too invested in any lifestyle he couldn't recreate if Sean did leave him again. The blond nodded. "Yeah." He did want off the drugs but only if Sean stayed with him. That was easier said than done.<br><br>Cameron made a face when asked if he knew why he had come back for him. Of course he did. <em>Because you wanted to ease your conscience for leaving me earlier.</em><br><br>That was what he thought but at the same time he knew he couldn't really blame Sean. It hadn't been his fault but that of his parents. He knew that.<br><br>But still, he couldn't help but feel betrayed. "Yeah, you told me earlier. I remember. I'm not on the really bad drugs right now like I was yesterday." He said with a roll of his eyes. For a moment silence filled the car and Cameron looked out the window of the car as the vehicle continued to head down the streets and yawned. It wasn't that he was physically tired, just mentally. He wanted to say something, to try and catch up on old times but the words just weren't coming to his lips. He didn't know how to talk to Sean.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>roninc30</strong> on <strong>25-01-2011, 23:30:23</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Sean held on to Cameron's hand long after he'd stopped speaking.&nbsp; He headed to the local drive thru burger joint without speaking, ordered them both two larger burgers, fries and soft drinks, then parked in the corner of the parking low under some trees where they would have a bit of privacy.&nbsp; He only released Cameron's hand when he had to pull his wallet out to pay for the food and even then he was afraid Cameron would jump out of the car and he'd never see him again.<br><br>When they were settled, each with their own food, Sean adjusted the heater and looked over at his friend.&nbsp; "I know you're holding something back, Cam," he said after a moment.&nbsp; "I know you have to blame me for leaving.&nbsp; I blame myself for letting my parents take me.&nbsp; All these years, I wish I had just run away and come back here.&nbsp; I wish I could have just stayed with you, even if it mean living in your garage with your horrible parents lumbering around and giving us trouble all the time.&nbsp; Then after a while I just convinced myself that you didn't think of me the way I'd started thinking of you...that I'd kind of just made it all up in my head.&nbsp; I honestly convinced myself that you had moved on and were happier without me."&nbsp; <br><br>He took a french fry, chewed it slowly as he searched for the right words, then sighed.&nbsp; "I love you, Cameron.&nbsp; I always have and I always will.&nbsp; And right now, I need, more than anything, for you to talk to me.&nbsp; Yell at me, punch me, tell me you hate me, or that you can't even stand to look at me or....something.&nbsp; But please....please, Cam, just say something.&nbsp; Anything...and we can work through it."<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Saku</strong> on <strong>01-02-2011, 19:53:09</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				He could tell Sean felt strange with him too. It was obvious from the way the man kept holding onto his hand, almost as if he was afraid to let go. A dry smirk came to his lips.<br><br>Did he think he would jump out of a moving car? Cameron might be a lot of things but he wasn't suicidal, at least not yet. He hadn't gone off the deep end.<br><br>No matter how it might look otherwise. He looked over at his best friend when Sean spoke and eyed him with his lone visible amber eye. The blond didn't really know how to respond to what Sean had said. He didn't do intimacy very well, even when it wasn't sexual in nature. A fry disappeared. Cameron regarded Sean for a few moments and then shook his head. "I don't blame you for leaving with your parents. But I do for not contacting me later on once you moved out." He told the other male, not looking at him.<br><br>It was almost as if he couldn't stand to do so. If Sean had really loved him, he wouldn't have put him through such heartbreak. Cameron was certain of that particular fact.<br><br>Sean had been able to contact him but chose not to because he thought Cameron had gotten over him. How could he have thought such an unlikely thing?<br><br>Did their time together as children mean nothing to him? Still, despite what Sean had done, Cameron couldn't help but want to be with him again. There was just something about the other male that drew him in. He loved him and always would but his love was complicated. Now he had serious abandonment issues which he hadn't had before when Sean had known him. He finished his burger and picked at his fries, taking a drink of the soda that Sean had bought for him. "So where are we headed?" He asked, looking over.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>roninc30</strong> on <strong>02-02-2011, 18:53:36</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Sean looked down for a moment, and finally pulled his hand away, figuring Cameron didn't want it.&nbsp; "I know.&nbsp; I just thought....."&nbsp; He shook his head and sighed.&nbsp; He'd already told Cameron what he'd thought - that Cam had forgotten him - and he'd been wrong.&nbsp; If he could just turn back time, he'd have run away when he was still young; or, at the very least, come back to Cameron the day he turned 18.&nbsp; <br><br>Instead, he'd been an idiot and let his best friend down.&nbsp; Maybe things would have worked out differently if only he'd told Cam how he really felt before they'd left.&nbsp; Maybe then Cam would have known, but....<br><br>Hindsight was 20/20, now wasn't it?<br><br>Focusing on the road, this time with both hands on the wheel, Sean realized Cameron hadn't said he loved him back.&nbsp; Other than the earlier aborted kiss, he seemed to angry to show Sean much affection at all, which was perfectly understandable.&nbsp; Sean had fucked up in a big way and he was going to have to earn Cameron's trust and forgiveness.<br><br>"I thought we'd head straight to the hospital," he admitted.&nbsp; "I want you to get some help.&nbsp; There's a hospital in New York I found that has some...unconventional treatments for additions.&nbsp; While you were sleeping this morning, I called and set us up an appointment for 3:00 this afternoon.&nbsp; Then maybe we can go to the apartment, get settled, work things out and you can decide which treatment you want?"
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Saku</strong> on <strong>05-02-2011, 18:50:08</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Part of him didn't want Sean to let go of his hand. It made him feel as if Sean would disappear from his life once more. But the other part felt more at ease when he let go.<br><br>He wasn't used to physical contact that didn't involve some sort of pain. Cameron raised a brow when Sean told him he intended to first visit the hospital.<br><br>The blond regarded his former best friend for a few moments and then inclined his head. "Alright." He didn't much care one way or another what was on the agenda for them. As long as he could be with Sean he was satisfied and he glanced over at the other male. "What do you get out of helping me?" He asked, wondering what Sean was expecting in the long run. It was a logical question to ask since he didn't want to end up indebted to Sean. Cameron didn't know what time it was but he assumed it was near three.<br><br>Otherwise, why would they be going to the hospital first? He saw a large building in the distance that resembled a hospital and waited for a response to come from Sean.<br><br>Cameron wanted the other male to ease his mind because he didn't like trusting others simply based off of good will. No one did that in the present time.<br><br>Not anymore. Times were rough and he had grown used to them after having lived on the streets for years. He didn't trust anyone and the only thing he counted on was that his mother would always have a stash in the house. So far she hadn't let him down. But Sean had done so before and as a result, Cameron couldn't trust him so easily. He would have to win back the blond's trust and it would not be an easy journey. But Cameron was willing to let him try since he didn't want to lose the man after all this.<br><br>He had come back, hadn't he? Sean had said it was for him but was that really the entire truth? If he had thought Cameron had forgotten about him, why had he returned?
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>roninc30</strong> on <strong>11-02-2011, 00:28:01</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Sean looked at Cameron for a second, pain written all over his face that the other man would even ask such a thing.&nbsp; "I get my best friend back," he answered finally, turning his attention back to the road.&nbsp; "And maybe a chance at more than friendship.&nbsp; It's all I ever wanted with you, Cam...just to....be yours.&nbsp; Have you be mine.&nbsp; I always felt we were a team....that is, until I fucked it up and left.&nbsp; But I want another chance to make it work.&nbsp; Hell, I don't even know if you want me back like that, but....this time I'm going to hang around and find out."<br><br>He pulled up to the hospital front doors, got out and handed his keys to the parking attendant, then walked around to help Cam out.&nbsp; <br><br>"We're just here to talk about the different options they offer," he said before Cam could comment on whether he wanted Sean back or not.&nbsp; "I promise I won't let them sign you in against your will.&nbsp; They're supposed to have over a dozen different rehab plans though and I'm sure one of them will work."<br><br>As soon as Cam got out of the car, Sean offered both his arm and his hand, letting Cam decide which one he needed...or wanted as his car was driven away by the attendant.&nbsp; "Cam....I've been meaning to ask.&nbsp; What happened to your eye anyway?&nbsp; Is the patch for real?"
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Saku</strong> on <strong>12-02-2011, 04:30:02</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				He raised a brow when Sean told him what he got in return. That wasn't much and he wondered if Sean was truly being honest with him. "You really care for me that much, huh?"<br><br>It was obvious he didn't believe him from the tone of his voice. Yet at the same time, Cameron couldn't help but want to believe in his former best friend.<br><br>Sean had never let him down in the past before he had left the place. He let his amber eyes linger on Sean for a moment after the other male confessed he was interested in more than friendship between them. "Let's see how it goes first." He told him, willing to at least give him the benefit of the doubt. If Sean stayed with him for a year or longer he would place his trust in him again. If not, he'd never talk to him again. There was only so much a man could take before he got too fucked up. It was hard to trust again.<br><br>Too hard. Sometimes he wondered why he was still in this world. What did he really bring to it? He had no job and no life that meant anything up until Sean had returned to him.<br><br>What could he really do to make life worth living? He didn't want to be taken care of, he wanted to contribute. But how? Cameron waved the hand aside.<br><br>"I can get out on my own." He told Sean, not wanting to be seen as a drunkard or someone who couldn't stand upright without help. "Mm. Whatever. I just want to get this over with so we can get on with our lives." Cameron said, without thinking about what those words might mean to Sean. He had essentially implied that he wanted to have a life with Sean. The blond looked back over at Sean when the man asked him about his eyepatch. "Oh, this?" He asked, reaching up to point at the patch he still wore.<br><br>"It's nothing permanent. Ran into my father the other day and he gave me a black eye. Thought the eye-patch would look cooler than a black eye." He said with a casual shrug.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>roninc30</strong> on <strong>15-02-2011, 00:54:05</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Sean still had the mental image of Cameron the way he'd found him so many hours before.&nbsp; He couldn't have gotten out of the car by himself then, but he didn't remind his friend of that.&nbsp; "Okay...sorry," he said, backing off a bit, though he wanted to hold Cameron's hand again or put an arm around him anyway.&nbsp; If nothing, else, just to make sure he stayed close.<br><br>He had to bite his anger back at Cameron's father too, for hurting him.&nbsp; Given half a chance, he'd like to go back and deck the bastard just for the hell of it.&nbsp; He took a deep breath and shook his head.&nbsp; Cameron was away from all that now...that's what mattered.&nbsp; That's all that mattered right now, in fact.<br><br>As they headed into the lobby, Sean saw the doctor they had an appointment was on the fourth floor.&nbsp; He made his way over to the elevator, staying close, praying for Cameron to reach out for him some how, wanting him to make the first move this time.&nbsp; <br><br>"What do you mean, get on with our lives?" he asked quietly.&nbsp; "How do you see your life, Cam?&nbsp; After you're sober, I mean.&nbsp; Do you want to stay in New York with me, or was my big return a few years too late?&nbsp; I'm going to help you no matter how you answer, and I know it's too early to really be asking this, but I'd like to know what you're thinking right now."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Saku</strong> on <strong>08-03-2011, 01:07:53</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				When Sean apologized for trying to help him, Cameron felt a bit guilty about his harsh tone. But he couldn't really take it back and so he pretended as if it had never happened.<br><br>He looked over at Sean when the man spoke once more. "I don't know but I was hoping maybe you'd still be in it..." Cameron murmured as he glanced over.<br><br>Of course he wanted Sean to be in his life but the whole process of getting over a strong addiction like this was not lightly undertaken. The blond had heard too many stories of how couples promised to stick with their significant other until the end. And then the couples had split up during the process or directly after the detoxing. He wanted to believe but he wasn't sure whether he could or not. Yet, he was making an effort to and that was the only thing that mattered, right? If it failed, he could vanish.<br><br>Slip into oblivion once more because Sean wouldn't be there any longer. He went into the elevator and let his amber eyes flicker over to Sean as the male closed the door.<br><br>Not caring anymore about being cautious, Cameron decided to act on impulse. Once the doors had closed, he turned to Sean and began to instantly kiss him.<br><br>This was what Sean had wanted anyway, right? To know what he was feeling now? Well, this was it and Cameron continued to molest Sean's lips as he closed his eyes, enjoying the moment of happiness he was experiencing right now. After a few minutes had passed, he finally broke the kiss and then leaned up against the wall of the small enclosed space, breathing a bit heavily. Yes, this was headier than any drug he had used and he wondered if he could simply replace the drugs with that. Could it be possible?
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>roninc30</strong> on <strong>09-03-2011, 20:51:38</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Sean's eyes were somewhat dazed when Cameron pulled away, but his lips were tingling pleasantly and in a way they'd never felt before when anyone else had kissed him.&nbsp; "I...wow," he managed, his own breathing a bit off as one hand reached up and touched his lips.<br><br>Just then the elevator doors opened and he realized they were on the right floor.&nbsp; He stepped out, waited for Cameron to join him in the hallway and saw the doctor's door just ahead.&nbsp; Rather than going right in though, he stopped, leaned back against the hallway wall and took Cam's hand.&nbsp; "Listen, I want you to know that I'm with you all the way on this," he said softly.&nbsp; "And not because you just gave me the best kiss of my entire life either." <br><br>He blushed a little at that admission, but his eyes never left Cameron's face.&nbsp; "I know it's been a long time, but you're the only person who's ever really mattered to me Cam, and you're not going to have to go through his alone.&nbsp; We'll see which option you think will work best and go for it...together.&nbsp; Deal?"
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Saku</strong> on <strong>11-03-2011, 19:45:25</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Yes, he hadn't thought the feelings would be that strong either. He stepped out of the elevator, catching his breath a moment later. But he didn't regret doing what he had done.<br><br>Not one bit. He had shown Sean his feelings, not being able to express them in words. The other should have understood, right? It certainly seemed like it.<br><br>Cameron felt Sean grab his hand right before the doctor's door and glanced backward. A faint smirk came to his lips when he heard Sean's words, it almost seemed like the old Cam could be glimpsed for a second. "Of course." He replied and then knocked at the door, opening it when the doctor's voice encouraged them to enter. What would lie within? He didn't know and didn't much care as long as Sean would be there with him. It was the beginning of a new chapter in his life and he wondered what fate would have in store.<br><br>Perhaps things wouldn't be so bad after all. He had Sean and that was all that mattered. If Sean couldn't help him through this, no one could, that was one thing he was certain.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>roninc30</strong> on <strong>12-03-2011, 21:20:32</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				They spoke to the doctor for nearly an hour.&nbsp; Sean let Cameron do most of the talking, and sat there holding his hand the entire time.&nbsp; When the hour was up, he paid the receptionist, then walked back to the car, still hand in hand, giving Cam time to think over their options.<br><br>As he drove to his apartment, he stole a glance over at his best friend.&nbsp; There were pamplets for each of their treatment options - one was a 3-month hospital stay where he could receive no visitors or phone calls, and had about a 50% success rate.&nbsp; Another was an intensive stay in the hospital where they used even more drugs to put him into a near-coma while his body detoxed.&nbsp; It's success rate was only about 60%. <br><br>Then there was the hospital's newest program, called "Not High In The Mountains," which involved the person who was addicted choosing one family member, spouse, or friend to spend 3 months in a cabin in the dead of winter to stay with him.&nbsp; Only the support person would have access to a phone and only then in emergencies, and he or she would be given exactly ten Xanax pills for the worst days of detoxification.&nbsp; The support person would dole those pills out as necessary, but for the most part they would both be too busy just trying to survive the cold weather to worry about drugs.&nbsp; This program seemed the most promising, and most expensive.&nbsp; Nearly $50,000....but it had, so far, a 99% success rate.<br><br>"So, what are you thinking?" he asked as he turned off on the exit that would lead to his apartment.&nbsp; 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Saku</strong> on <strong>15-03-2011, 05:05:06</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				It was rather strange talking so much. He wasn't used to it anymore. But somehow he managed to survive the meeting with Sean by his side. The real one, not the hallucination.<br><br>The hour spent there had seemed more like a day, especially since the spotlight happened to be focused on him. Or at least that was what he thought.<br><br>Maybe that was what it was supposed to feel like. He ran through the plans in his mind that the doctor had discussed with them. They all seemed pretty straightforward and he was silent for a time, running through the options mentally. It was a wonder his brain still worked well enough to process simple thought what with all the drugs in his system. He didn't like the ones where he had to stay at the hospital and he certainly wasn't interested in the one where he could receive no visitors. If he didn't have Sean...<br><br>...then there was no point to detoxing. So, essentially the only plan shown that appeared to be acceptable was the mountains plan. The one that had the best chance as well.<br><br>Of succeeding. But at the same time it was a lot of money to spend on a program. He didn't feel right taking money from Sean, even though he wanted to.<br><br>It was for him he was trying to get better. Clean. But he wasn't sure whether he could take money from him. He looked over when Sean asked what he was thinking about and flashed a weak smile at him. "Never liked hospitals so that's out of the picture. The mountains one sounds alright but it's pretty expensive." He murmured, averting his eyes as he stared out the window at the scenery rushing by. "I don't want to take your money and give you nothing in return." Cameron finally got out. It was hard enough to say...
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>roninc30</strong> on <strong>14-04-2011, 07:13:59</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				"Cam, you wouldn't owe me anything," Sean said, shaking his head.&nbsp; "And my wanting to do this for and with you....it's not so you'll stay with me afterwards, though I hope you want to.&nbsp; You know I'd do anything in the world for you."<br><br>He reached over and rested his hand on Cameron's forearm, giving it a light squeeze, then focused his attention back on the road.&nbsp; "All that money doesn't mean anything to me.&nbsp; It never has, because all I've ever been able to think about was you.&nbsp; If it takes every dime I've saved and I still have to go get a loan, I'll do it, because, I just want you back Cameron.&nbsp; I want my best friend back in my life again and I don't want to have to worry about you getting sick from a dirty needle or picked up by the cops."<br><br>As if to prove his point, a police car sped by them, going in the other direction just at that moment.&nbsp; "I just want you safe and happy..&nbsp; &nbsp;I can make you happy....I know I can.&nbsp; You don't need the drugs.&nbsp; We can start over, just the two of us, if you'll just commit to this program, and not worry about the money.&nbsp; I want to do this.&nbsp; More than anything in my life, I want to do this for you. For us.&nbsp; Deal?"
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Saku</strong> on <strong>16-04-2011, 19:48:56</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				"Well, I'll make it up to you somehow in the future." Cameron promised, not liking to take something from someone and give nothing in return. He wasn't like that and it bothered him to take advantage of the other male in such a manner. Even if Sean said he didn't mind, he wasn't considering the fact that <em>Cameron</em> might not feel the same way. He smiled upon hearing Sean's words, they were really sweet and he wondered briefly what his life would have been like had Sean not moved away in the past.<br><br>He probably would have made something of his life and not delved into the dark world of drugs. But what use was there thinking about things that could never happen? Not unless he could find a time machine. "Don't take out a loan. If you got into debt because of me, I don't think I'd forgive myself." Cameron said with a rather weak laugh and shook his head. "The cops won't pick me up, I stay out of trouble and I don't take used needles. You know I hate sharp things like that." He said with a grin.<br><br>Yes, he had never gotten over his fear of needles. In fact, he'd always sought to get out of doctor visits for checkups when his parents actually took him there and they didn't seem to mind since it usually saved them money anyway. Oddly enough, Cameron had a tendency to always remain healthy no matter what happened to him and it had proceeded all the way up until now. Other than the drugs, he hadn't once gotten a cold or become sick, unlike most of the population who did the same things he tended to do.<br><br>He leaned against Sean's arm as they headed towards wherever it was that Sean was taking them. "As long as I have you, I don't need the drugs, they were only a substitute for you." Cameron murmured and closed his eyes, enjoying simply being near the man he had crushed on for such a long time. The drugs he'd taken into his system would still keep him going for at least another couple of hours before he'd begin to feel that insatiable craving once more. But he was fairly certain he could give the drugs up.<br><br>Probably. He didn't want to think about what he would do if he couldn't. That wasn't an option, he'd commit to the program, get clean and then he and Sean would live happily ever after. That was all he thought about, even if he knew some parts of that scenario could never happen. There was no happily ever after but that didn't stop him from wanting to believe in it. "What about your job? I don't think they'd wait for you to do this program with me and I don't want to be the cause of why you don't take it up."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Be my catcher... (roninc30)</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>roninc30</strong> on <strong>19-04-2011, 15:25:19</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Sean started to protest and tell Cameron he didn't owe him anything, but knew there was no point.&nbsp; Cam we stubborn - he always had been and always would be.&nbsp; Besides, he understood the other man's feelings.&nbsp; <br><br>"I'm going with you," he shrugged.&nbsp; "If my bosses don't like it, I'll find another job.&nbsp; I'm pretty good at what I do and I think they'll want me to stay. If they don't, fine.&nbsp; I've finally got my priorities straight, and you're at the top of the list."<br><br>He took Cameron's hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing the back.&nbsp; "You don't have to worry about me.&nbsp; Like you said the drugs were a substitute for me, that's what work was - a substitute for you.&nbsp; I threw myself into it, thinking it would be easier to get over you, only....getting over you turned out to be impossible.&nbsp; So screw the job.&nbsp; All that matters to me is our future together and getting you clean again."
			</dd>
		</dl>
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