[Welcome to Night Vale] - Cecil's Broadcasts
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				Title: <strong>[Welcome to Night Vale] - Cecil's Broadcasts</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Jag</strong> on <strong>06-10-2013, 17:01:35</strong>
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				<div align="center">(http://i1122.photobucket.com/albums/l521/ElliMichi/WTNVBanner_zpsc5a80e7b.jpg)</div><br>Good evening, Listeners.<br><br>I've been asked by Station Management, through our Station Oracle, to limit my broadcasts to day by day reviews of the week.<br><br>Well...<br><br>We will just have to see how long that lasts, now won't we? But for the time being, we shall indulge in this, because our beloved Station Management only have our best interest at heart. At least that is what the Oracle translated from their memo.<br><br>I must say, this week for our community has been wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. It's hard to pick where to begin. I suppose we should begin at the beginning. Though there is something to be said for stories that begin in the middle and end at the beginning. The anticipation of what happened to make the beginning happen. The wondrous feeling of not knowing how something began. Yes. Let's start there.<br><br>Wednesday...Poor, poor Wednesday. Without the events of Monday, this never would have happened. Who could have predicted that explosion? Actually, someone did. Old Woman Josie made mention of it last week, but no one took notice of it since the information came from the angels and the City Council has stated that angels do not exist and if they did, they only tell lies. Therefore, the explosion is a lie.<br><br>I have been asked to state that everyone forget the loud booming noise coming from across the street from Big Rico's Pizza. It did not happen. If you are having trouble forgetting about it, do not worry, the World Government's helicopters will be mind sweeping the area while you sleep to help with the situation.<br><br>Thursday...With the explosion that I did not just remind you of forgotten, the week proceeded. Thursday was a wonderful day. Perfect...almost...It started with a phone call. A voice that sounded like melted caramel. It was Carlos. Perfect Carlos. To be honest, Listeners, I didn't really hear anything he said beyond, "Cecil, please come be with me at the lab for the night", which is what I'm sure he meant when he said, "Please come to the lab and do a report for the show".<br><br>It was decidedly less exciting than I was hoping. Carlos and his team were all there, much to my surprise. They kept going on about the explosion, which I assured them did not happen across the street from Big Rico's Pizza. I think I was meant to take notes, but I drew a picture of Carlos instead. A picture that I took home, scanned, and played around with that photoshop thing.<br><br>Isn't it lovely?<br><br><div align="center">(http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2013/250/c/7/c771cf52c101878c596cc3a13e619a57-d6lch7t.jpg)</div><br>He is just <em>perfect</em>. It's a shame this is radio and you can't see the drawing. It really came out quite nice.<br><br>Friday...I don't know about all of you out there listening, but I thought the Night Vale Scorpions did wonderful during the game. Of course how could they not? After all, they were playing against Desert Bluffs, so it was only obvious that they would win. In a petty attempt to reclaim some of their pride, the Desert Bluffs team proceeded to shout about the explosion that didn't happen.<br><br>Shame on you, Desert Bluffs, shame on you.<br><br>And now, time for the weather...<br><br><div align="center">(http://i1122.photobucket.com/albums/l521/ElliMichi/WTNVWeather_zps1f387b4c.jpg)<br><br>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQmDUEv939A<br><br>(http://i1122.photobucket.com/albums/l521/ElliMichi/WTNVWeather_zps1f387b4c.jpg)</div><br>Welcome back. Shall we continue without our weekly overview?<br><br>Saturday...I made lemon curd filled popovers and took them over to Perfect Carlos' lab next to Big Rico's Pizza. I'm sad to say that I was not able to share them with him. I knocked on the door several times, but all that could be heard from the inside was quite a bit of shouting. I heard Carlos' perfect voice, but there were several that were unfamiliar to me. Then again, they could be his team members. I never paid enough attention to them learn their voices.<br><br>By the way, those popovers are sitting in the employee lounge right now. They might be a little stale though.<br><br>Sunday...Nothing ever seems to happen much on Sundays. Probably because we're all still working off the affects of the pesticides the World Government sprays over the town Saturday nights. I have been assured that we will become used to the pesticides and soon it will have no affect on us what so ever.<br><br>Monday...Here we are. The beginning of our story. For those just tuning in, I should remind you that my show starts promptly at six. Remember that.<br><br>Monday morning, the most awful thing happened. Someone is daring to threaten Perfect Carlos' lab. They moved into the empty warehouse across the street from Big Rico's Pizza, not even bothering to care that a lab already exists on that street. How dare they. I bet they were born in Desert Bluffs. Ohhhhh...<br><br>Tuesday...Tensions were high on Tuesday. This new lab turned out to be owned by a Doctor. His name is James Montgomery. He brought with him a nurse named Abigale Norwick. Dr. Montgomery, unlike Perfect Carlos, is not perfect. I'm sure Nurse Norwick, judging by the state of those marks on her neck, likes that sort of man. That slick, slimy, cold, dead eyed type with unperfect hair and a narrow jaw.<br><br>Perfect Carlos was seen, and heard, shouting through the door of the warehouse according to Old Woman Josie. The woman could only tell me that the shouting was something about the World Government and pregnancy. <br><br>I certainly hope Perfect Carlos has not got himself into a sticky situation with some woman. That would be awful. Oh dear, my mood seems to have fallen a bit.<br><br>I was supposed to make some mention of our new staff members here at Night Vale Community Radio Station, but I think I shall save that for my next show.<br><br>Good night, Night Vale. Good night.
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				Title: <strong>Re: [Welcome to Night Vale] - Cecil's Broadcasts</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Jag</strong> on <strong>15-10-2013, 13:47:07</strong>
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				<div align="center">(http://i1122.photobucket.com/albums/l521/ElliMichi/WTNVBanner_zpsc5a80e7b.jpg)</div><br>Good evening, Listeners and welcome to Night Vale.<br><br>I'd like to start out with an announcement from the Sheriff's Secret Police and City Council.<br><br>Continued conversation about the explosion that did not happen will result in detainment in the abandoned mine shaft that does not exist. I have been told that until these conversations stop, HBO will no longer be provided for the prisoners.<br><br>On to other news...<br><br>The warehouse that mysteriously burnt to the ground, not in any kind of explosion, is being repaired. Dr. Montgomery has brought in <em>outside</em> contractors. He's choosing not to use Night Vale's Community Union Workers Guild and has instead, I repeat, brought in <em><strong>outside</strong></em> contractors to do the repairs. <em><strong><span class="bbc_u">Outside</span></strong></em> workers.<br><br>I don't know about you, but this Dr. Montgomery is not making a good impression on me. I think I saw the words 'Desert Bluffs' on one of those workers uniforms. Shame on you Dr. Montgomery. Shame on you.<br><br>Meanwhile, his nurse has been making a much better impression. She completely denies the explosion that didn't happen. Even with the heat, she's taken to swearing the most lovely green scarf around her neck. Nurse Norwick claims it's a fashion statement, despite it not matching anything she's wearing. I see nothing wrong with the scarf. It matches with her red hair so well and matches the red shade of those marks on her neck.<br><br>Nurse Norwick was even seen at the football game last Friday cheering for the Night Vale Scorpions and hissing loudly at the Desert Bluffs quarterback.<br><br>There was even a lovely picture of her in the Night Vale Community News Paper, but no one was able to view it. When printed, the image kept disappearing. I am to inform the town that you are to imagine Nurse Norwick in the black box on the front page. I was told that the picture was of her standing, bent at the waist a bit, shouting through a cupped hand. Her green scarf dangling around her neck and still wearing her white uniform.<br><br>It sounds very nice, doesn't it? Perhaps the paper can look into getting a better camera or a better photographer.<br><br>And now, the weather...<br><br><div align="center">(http://i1122.photobucket.com/albums/l521/ElliMichi/WTNVWeather_zps1f387b4c.jpg)<br><br>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wigqKfLWjvM<br><br>(http://i1122.photobucket.com/albums/l521/ElliMichi/WTNVWeather_zps1f387b4c.jpg)</div><br>Welcome back.<br><br>I have some truly exciting news, Listeners.<br><br>First, the Sheriff's Secret Police wanted me to state that, again, continued conversation about the explosion that did not happen must cease or arrests will happen.<br><br>Secondly, and more importantly, I am very happy to announce several new additions to the Night Vale Community Radio Station family. Yours truly has taken it on himself to gather some information about these new staff members. After all, it is important to me that my listeners are well informed. You deserve to know about the people you listen to and who take care of the station.<br><br>Let us see, who is first...Oh! A lovely man by the name of Peter Cummings. Our new Sound Technician. Peter had this to say,&nbsp; <em>"I can't say that I'm the type to fear what I've never seen, then again I don't always fear what I have seen either. You can just ask my friend. He can vouch for me"</em>. Well, Peter, I did try to ask that friend of yours that you pointed out, but those hooded figures always seem to mess with my equipment. Your our new Sound Technician, maybe you can fix that.<br><br>Next...Yes, one of our new interns. Wesley. Normally, I don't go into too much detail about our interns, but Wesley took communication courses at our Night Vale Community College. Wesley had this to say, <em>"I'm one of the new interns! I fetch coffee, help organize some of the radio hosts papers or organize the mail, and some people told me I'm supposed to be the one who is the go-to for station management, but I looked at their office door and felt a cold impending sense of doom, so I'm hoping no one asks me to do that"</em>. Dear Wesley, I promise, we look after our Interns here at Night Vale Community Radio Station. We would never allow anything bad to happen to you.<br><br>I would also like to announce that Night Vale Community Radio will be hosting new radio shows. The first is <em>The Skelletons in your closet and you: How to deal with the horrible Crime you committed</em>. Well now, that sounds fascinating. It will be hosted by Darius Blake. He had a few things to say to my listeners. First off, <em>"Beavers are not"</em>, which I fully agree with. Secondly, <em>"goats aren't cheap you know? That reminds me...could you drop that i offer all children of nightvale below fearscout rank the chance the chance to earn themselves their deads, like any good American should"</em>, again, I agree.<br><br>Lastly, we have Josie Posie. She will be hosting a show called <em>Books to Live By</em>. That sounds...dull. Josie says she is from a city in Ohio. She said more after that, but I stopped listening. She's rather boring and went on about an explosion that didn't happen.<br><br>Anyway listeners, I think it is time to say...<br><br>Good night, Night Vale. Good night.
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