SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards
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		<h2 id="linktree">Play-By-Post: Bondage, D/s, S&amp;M =&gt; Bondage: Human Small Groups =&gt; Topic started by: Beautiful Poison on 13-08-2018, 04:50:47</h2>
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				Title: <strong>SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Beautiful Poison</strong> on <strong>13-08-2018, 04:50:47</strong>
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				<div align="center">(https://s25.postimg.cc/j3g1yz9wv/SIDEQUEST_2clear.png)</div><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><div align="center"><span style="font-size: 18pt;" class="bbc_size">:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞: ••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞: </span></div><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><div align="center">(https://orig00.deviantart.net/4ae9/f/2016/288/3/7/lonelyfire_by_kirokaze-dal2la5.gif)</div> <br><br><br><div align="center"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" class="bbc_size">Oh! Hello! I didn't see you standing there. You'll forgive me, my eyes aren't what they used to be. Well then, you don't look like you're in a hurry, are you? No? Since it seems that you don't have anywhere you need to be, sit for a moment and keep my old bones company. Yes, that stump there will do nicely, I think. Well then, traveler, what would you like to do with our time together? I know! You can help me sort my toenail clipping collection! Doesn't that sound like... oh, I see you don't like that idea. Well, it's not for everyone. Let me think a moment. I do have that sack of pussberries that needs peeling. I'm pretty sure I have another set of dragon hide gloves around here somewhere. They can leave some painful boils if you...&nbsp; yes, well, they -are- an acquired taste, I'll give you that. Hmmmm... I'm trying to think here. I don't often get company, you know. I remember now! How about you could do me a favor and inspect this weird lump I have found on my inner thigh? My back is rather stiff and I can't bend down, you see? It could kill a few minutes at least. Oh hey, wait! Don't go! I'm sure we can find something agreeable if you'll just give me a moment! <br><br>I've got it! No, really. I mean it this time. How would you like to hear a story? It's a good one, I promise. What's that? No, I don't believe so. What is a "C Y O A"? Is it some sort of warlock music? You kids and your crazy new age music! Just sounds like a lot of noise to me! But then again, I am old. Just give me a lute and a bard any day. You know, when I was your age I used to follow this one... what's that? Oh! Right, yes! I nearly forgot. Your story. Well, sit back down, sit back down. I won't bite ya. Don't really got any teeth left, see? Salamanders, however... They'll bite ya. Leave nasty little blisters, too. Well, I only mention cause they're in the fire behind you. Now, don't panic! I fed them yesterday so they should be fine. <br><br>So, ya want a story, huh? Well, I know a fair few stories. At my age you tend to collect them, ya see? Well, that and warts. So, I think I'm gonna tell you the tale of UpperWestSide Earth. It's a great adventure. A collection of three stories, to be exact but a bit long and sort of tedious. Perfect if you've got nowhere to be and nothing to do... Oh, you've heard it already, have you? Yes, well, I suppose it is quite popular so can't say I'm really surprised.&nbsp; Let me think now... How about the Donkey, The Librarian, and the Outhouse? I think you'll really enjoy the... I do suppose you have a point. I guess some would consider it a childhood classic. Though it was rather dark I always thought. I can see you're not a child so perhaps that wasn't the best fit in hindsight. How about something a bit more grown up, then? It's not the most elegant story I know and the plot is kinda shitty, but some folks seem to like it. I call it Thirty-Seven Shades of Off White. It's a story of a naive girl discovering a culture portrayed in the worst and most inaccurate way... now, don't give me that look! Some people really do like it! I mean, yes, I could tell from looking at you that you were smarter than that but one never knows unless you try, you know? Difficult to tell what people are into these days. I've met some weird folks in my time. <br><br>You're not making this easy for me, are you? I can see you're going to be a difficult one to please. That's alright, at my age there aren't too many more challenges left for me other than managing the stairs and listening to young people talk about, well, just about everything, really. Now this story I haven't told anyone before. It's about a real-life family but, if I'm honest, I'm not entirely sure I remember all the details, so it'll be an adventure for both of us. You may have to help me come up with the bits I can't remember. Do you mind helping an old soul out a little? Marvelous! You can come up with a title for it as well. I really do hate coming up with those and I'm rather rubbish at it, I've discovered. <br><br>So... are you ready for me to begin?</span></div><br><br><br><div align="center"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size">•┈┈┈••✦ <strong><span class="bbc_u">Main Menu</span></strong> ✦••┈┈┈┈┈┈•</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: 18pt;" class="bbc_size">∘₊✧──✧₊∘ Return To Start (https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php) ∘₊✧──✧₊∘</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: 18pt;" class="bbc_size">∘₊✧──✧₊∘ Credits (https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=152220.0) Credits (https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=279631.0) Credits (https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=264183.0) ∘₊✧──✧₊∘</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: 18pt;" class="bbc_size">∘₊✧──✧₊∘ Official Game Soundtrack (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ) ∘₊✧──✧₊∘</span></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: 18pt;" class="bbc_size">∘₊✧──✧₊∘ Skip Cutscene (https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=291957.msg14333403#msg14333403) ∘₊✧──✧₊∘</span></div><br><br><br><br><div align="center"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" class="bbc_size">Cradled by mountains and nestled in forests was the Kingdom of Hyrune, a vast stretch of land as steeped in magic as it was in superstition. Perched on the coastline was the glittering gem in the crown of the country known simply as the City of Wands. I realize it is not the most creative name for a city known far and wide throughout the land as the center for all magical learning in the kingdom, but it's the best I could come up with, alright? If you must know, I can't remember the real name. If you start getting picky now then this is going to take a very long time indeed! Honestly, are you this picky of an eater?<br><br>Anyway, you could find all manner of things and persons within it's shimmering pearlescent gates. The flow of trade in and out was a constant blur of merchants, adventurers, pirates and peasants as they streamed through roads and waterways like an army of ants. Anything you wanted could be found and purchased there, for a price of course. The marketplaces were overflowing with potions, spells, magic clothing and more! I once met a witch that had charmed a pair of knickers to make your ass look amazing. Pity the spell wore off the moment they hit the floor. But if ya just pulled'em to the side, you see... the spell would stick and... Okay, okay. I'll get on with it. <br><br>It wasn't just the trinkets that brought people to Wands. Their healers were second to none, having a single one in your army could turn the tides of war in your favor! With the wave of a single hand, their wizards and sorcerers could lay waste to as many soldiers as an entire company of archers. Any of their armored forces, paladins or mage knights, were a force to be reckoned with. The combined might was too powerful for any one King or Queen to possess and so, the City of Wands was governed not by a single Monarch but by a council made up the wisest and brightest of their order. Seventeen in all, to be exact. Human, Elves, Dwarves, Gnomes, and the like. I think they had a Dryad once, but I heard she died when they went on holiday for 100 years and someone forgot to water her.&nbsp; My point is, these seventeen were the ones to governed their society in matters both small and great. Everything from which Kings and Queens to aid to which toilet paper was put in the apprentice's bathrooms. Well, that's probably an exaggeration, they had minions for that, I'm sure. But you get the idea. They had their noses in every potion bottle. <br><br>Each member of this council was highly respected as were any of their family. To belong to one of these prominent households carried significant weight in the community, as well as responsibility. Those lucky enough o be born into one had a quality of life that all but the most elite among them would envy. It is with one of these families that my story begins. Well, sort of. Really, just two members. Which, is a good thing cause most of the rest of'em are uptight prigs, but you get that with those holier than thou types after all. <br><br>The Evenember family was born to a life in the holy light and one of the oldest of these pompous families. Their pretentious coat of arms is a collection of swords, holy symbols, and rays of sunlight. They thought really highly of themselves. Being born into this family meant that your destiny was chosen for you from the moment your mother heaved you from her loins. If ye were born a boy then the hard study and physical training is what awaited ya for all the men in this line were sculpted into the finest paladins in the realm. In fact, they have their own quarters in the barracks all decked out in the finest beddings and tapestries. Did I mention they are all pretentious? Prats, all of em... Yes, sorry. So, what of the girls, you ask? It has been a long-standing belief that there was something in their genes that made the priestesses of the Evenember line superior above all others. <br><br>You could always spot an Evenember just by lookin' at'em. All of them, every last one had the same pale skin and purple-blue eyes. Hell, even their hair was so black it was almost sapphire. Not that you needed that, mind you. You could usually tell an Evenember by their sharp features and the stuck up expressions most of them carried around all god damn day. As if that weren't bad enough, they always wore their house colors. Never seen a family so proud to have their asses wiped by holy light and yet still dress like a bunch of undertakers. Always, I'm not kidding! Purple, blue, silver and black. Lots of black. That's all they ever wore. Never understood it, myself, musta gotten real hot for 'em. Maybe that's why they were so pale?. There was nothing special or unique about their family line. They were the same cookie cutter faces and clothing for as long as anyone could remember. <br><br>Tolan Evenember, his wife Opalie.. Opale-y... I can never remember how she pronounced it. It was pompous, though, I promise you that. Anyway, they had themselves six kids in all and each one had to deal with the weight of their family on their shoulders. The eldests were a boy and girl, twins. Both made their parents proud by joining their expected professions and excelling as everyone expected them to. The next two boys after did the same as well. Each one making a fine paladin worthy of the name and yet, nothing noteworthy. They too wore those stupid tunics and banners like every Evenember that came along before. Really, there was nothing to set one of them apart from the others. They were all the same height, just about, all slender and graceful. All, that was, until the youngest came along. <br><br>The girl, it seemed, was a spirited thing and never hesitated to speak her mind. Loudly and often, which just wasn't done in that family. She never quite developed a sense of social awareness or an understanding of the correct order of things. She idolized her older brothers, proud to be a member of such a prominent and noble family. That was until she learned she would not be allowed to follow in their footsteps. From that first awkward conversation with her father, she butted heads with him pretty much every day since. That must have been an odd sensation for Tolan, that smug git... embarrassed in public by his own daughter pitching fits about wanting plate mail and swords at the top of her squeaky little voice. The idea of a daughter of his wanting to fight? He was livid. It was the only time I saw him with any color in his cheeks. I never understood what the big deal was, myself. I mean, it's not like she wanted to be a warlock or worse, a lawyer. <br><br>Oh, what was her name again? By the gods, I would forget my own nethers were attached if I didn't have to relieve myself so often...</span></div><br><br><div align="center">(https://orig00.deviantart.net/2cdf/f/2016/137/f/4/yennefer_by_enshanlee-da2rw1x.jpg)</div><br><div align="center">{Please Select Character Name}</div><br><div align="center"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size"><span class="bbc_u">S</span></span> <span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size"><span class="bbc_u">O</span></span> <span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size"><span class="bbc_u">P</span></span> <span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size"><span class="bbc_u">H</span></span> <span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size"><span class="bbc_u">I</span></span> <span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size"><span class="bbc_u">A</span></span></div>&nbsp; &nbsp;<div align="center">{Press Enter to Confirm}</div><br><div align="center"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" class="bbc_size">Sophia! That's right, I remember her now. Sophia Madelyn Evenember! She hated her name. Mainly because her brothers would tease her from a very young age about her temper, adopting the nickname of "So Mad" for their headstrong little sister. <br><br>Her angry outbursts became something of a joke around town. That the bucket had finally hit the bottom of the family well and come up dry. Sure, she had the signature Evenember hair and eyes, pale skin and sharp features but that, it would seem, is where the connection to her great family ended. They had hoped it was a phase. That she would grow up and accept her role as proud priestess, but from the very beginning of her education into the art, she proved to be a... difficult student. <br><br>Like all of the children of her name for generations, they were educated in private on the great family estate. Too good for the rest of us in regular school, they had fancy book learning that most scholars would only dream of. The same tutor had trained all of Tolan's children without complaint until it came time to train his youngest.&nbsp; Rumor had it he only lasted four years. She had developed her father's temper, you see, but neither one of her parents ability to crush their daughters dream fully for the sake of the family. They tried gently to ease her into reality but she just fought them all the way. This seemed to only intensify the older the girl got, even if she reluctantly went through her schoolin', she could still be found sneaking out at night with her companion and getting into bar fights much later in her life.<br><br>That wasn't the only trouble they got into... I'm sorry? What other sibling? Six, you say? Oh, right! Good memory you've got there! Yes, I guess I did mention six. I said that all the Evenember children had dark black hair, yeah? Well, all but one, though, technically speaking not all of'em were Evenembers.</span> </div><br><br><div align="center">(https://orig00.deviantart.net/89ed/f/2016/143/a/3/triss_merigold_by_enshanlee-da3lbsr.jpg)</div><br><div align="center">{Please Select Character Name}</div><br><div align="center"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size"><span class="bbc_u">L</span></span> <span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size"><span class="bbc_u">E</span></span> <span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size"><span class="bbc_u">S</span></span> <span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size"><span class="bbc_u">N</span></span> <span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size"><span class="bbc_u">I</span></span> <span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size"><span class="bbc_u">Y</span></span> <span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size"><span class="bbc_u">A</span></span></div>&nbsp; &nbsp;<div align="center">{Press Enter to Confirm}</div><br><div align="center"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" class="bbc_size">Oh right... how could I forget such a unique name? It was Lesniya Vae, and she was such a pretty little thing. If I'm recallin' the rumors right, she was a Terrastone. Though, I never knew much about that family. Wasn't from 'round Wands, don't think. <br><br>She stuck out like a socially awkward eunuch in a brothel when they all went out in public together. Vivid red hair and vibrant green eyes, the little girl looked like a breath of warm summer air next to the cold and void of personality Evenember family, but just how she came to be under their care was a mystery. There was plenty of speculation, however, as I'm sure you could imagine! The most common one being that ole' Opaily..whatever her name was again... well, that she finally figured out how to uncross her legs for someone other than a frigid-dicked old codfish like Tolan. While the speculations were far funnier than the truth they were also quite far from what I heard was the actual reason. They kept it real quiet but apparently she was the daughter of a friend of the family. Which, if ya ask me, is more shockin' than the notion of Ofalie boinking the doctor, mainly cause I never figured anyone could stand Tolan long'nuff to call him a friend. I can't imagine he was any less insufferable in his youth than he was at any point in his life. <br><br>The girl, Lesniya, turned out to be just a couple a years shy of Sophia, and that would seem to be where the likenesses ended. Where Sophie was loud, impatient and stubborn, little Lesniya was still, quiet and about as sweet as spun sugar. Many wondered if she would join the proud family ranks of holy wielders but much to folk's surprise, that ended up not being the case. She grew up trained in the devastating arcane arts of combat magic and tutored by some of the best battle mages that gold could buy. Personally, I'm surprised Tolan didn't try and force the girl like he did his own, but I suppose a gift is a gift. If it's in your blood, what can you do but not squander it?&nbsp; You'd think that would annoy the baby of the family, having someone in the house allowed to do something other than sit through boring priest classes all day. But, as it turned out, quite the opposite happened. Sophia was eager to have a friend, one that was ignorant of her family's prejudice and rigid frame of thinking. She found a confidant and companion in the little redhead and in turn, Lesniya found comfort and security. <br><br>It was awkward at first, I'm sure, but the two girls found that they were the only ones that seemed to understand one another. That neither of their lives had gone according to their own plans. It would end up being the foundation of a very strong bond they would share and soon you found that the two became quite inseparable. Old Tolan had hoped, I'm sure, that little Lesniya's sweet and soft disposition would rub off on his abrasive and mouthy daughter. You see, despite their differences, Tolan loved his youngest fiercely and would come to regard their new addition with the same deep admiration. He would always find some excuse for them to get out of trouble and it didn't take the girls long to figure this out. Before long they had learned to wield the family patriarch as skillfully as a swordmaster with a custom crafted blade. <br><br>Oh, it didn't take much. A trembling lower lip here, a bat of the eyelashes there and somehow sweets would magically turn up in their pockets or bedtimes would be conveniently forgotten. As they got older, Tolan found himself dismissing their sneaking out of the house at night or sneaking people, namely boys, in. He would dismiss the rumors and complaints from the staff as the girls were rapidly catapulted into puberty's loving, full-bosomed embrace. Surely, his denial was about as large as the stick up his amazingly narrow ass and it wasn't until he stumbled upon his girls at the tender age of sixteen trying to hide two boys in their wardrobe that the notion his little girls might not be so perfect and chaste finally dawned on him. <br><br>The harder he tried to keep the young men out the more crafty the two girls became on how to sneak them in. Word was that Lesniya was the really clever one on these ventures but often lacked the guts to follow through. Sophia, however, was wreckless and more than willing and unapologetic in the executions of such plans. They even managed to convince a pair of eager lads to throw caution to the wind and allow the two of them to dress them up like girls, corsets and full makeup, mind you, and try to bring them in for a sleepover. If one of the elder brothers hadn't recognized the dresses as belonging to Sophia they might have managed it. From that point onward security got very tight at the family manor, making it all but impossible for any of the girl's many many admirers to get inside the house or inside the girls too, for that matter. <br><br>Well, that seemed to do the trick. That is, it did for a little while. I suppose it was difficult to sit still on those lonely nights when your panties are coursing with hormones, not that I've had any experience with that. My knickers are dryer than scorpions scrotum. Oh, sorry? Visuals too much with that? I apologize... Anyway! The girls must have gotten a bit stir crazy on those lonely nights because soon they were sneaking out of the family compound. Why were they so eager to get out, you ask? Well, the girls were smart, too smart perhaps, and it didn't take them long to realize their father was not the only man they could bend to their will. While Tolan had gotten wise to their behavior the girls had gotten enough practice on him to hon their skills of manipulation and had begun taking aim at the men of the city. <br><br>The tools of their trade were different now though. Evolving with their puberty. A swing of curvy hips would replace the quiver of a bottom lip and a well-timed mashing of cleavage earned more than big puppy dog eyes. Before long they had more admirers than they could deal with and the task of juggling them became somewhat of a chore. On more than one occasion the girls found they would have to split up in order to keep the men int he dark. It was at this stage Tolan and his wife got desperate to try to stem the flow of filthy, unladylike behavior the two managed to get themselves into and cut both the girls off from their allowances, expecting that the lack of funds would be a harsh reality for them. They had both underestimated the girls, it seemed.<br><br>Their pockets and purses were overflowing with the trinkets and bobbles their admirers bestowed upon them. Enough that the severance from family money was not a concern and that's saying something. Jewels, clothing, perfumes, even pets would fill the girl's chambers or litter the family doorstep. More than just tribute would start to pile up around the family's foundation, rumors had been building that the girls were high paid prostitutes and con artists as skilled at freeing money from men as a butcher carving meat from bone. <br><br>Tolan and his wife were doing their best to locate respectable suitors to marry the girls but they were having a damn hard time finding any man of quality that hadn't already heard of the girls rather... rambunctious reputations. Lesniya and Sophia were now barely in their twenties as their father desperately worked to repair some of the damage the girls and their overly active loins had caused to his name when the straw finally landed, breaking the back of the very uptight, pinched-faced camel. <br><br>You could hear the shouting and swearing and wailing dancing from rooftop to rooftop as the head of the city militia dragged the girls to their family's door at three in the morning. He had caught the pair of them in the soldier's barracks, the little redhead lounging in the laps of two soldiers and Sophia face first in the groin of the captain of the guard. The two girls stood before their father on the threshold of their prestigious home, Lesnyia's cheeks almost as red as her hair and Sophia standing proud, hickeys on full display along her slender throat and explained themselves. The reluctant priestess, as it turned out, was exchanging blowjobs for sword lessons and the family ward had gone along to keep a lookout, as she often did. <br><br>The row that took place was a thing of legend and I'm pretty sure limericks about it are carved into many a tavern outhouse around town. Now, I'm not sure of the particulars but the end result was quite clear. The girls were allowed to return in the morning and collect some clothing and food but until they had learned their place and how to act respectable they were no longer welcome in the home they had grown up in. The very next day the girls were spotted selling off much of the gifts they had accumulated over the years, hoarding their money for the unknown ahead. <br><br>They weren't very sensible at first, then again, who is at their age, spending it on lavish rooms and the decadent food they were accustomed too, but all wells must eventually run dry. An unwelcome side effect of their very public exile was that each of the special and unique men they had enthralled realized just how special and unique everyone else had been to the girls as well. The quality of inns they would stay at was a direct correlation to the number of men that had gotten wise to the pairs game and before long, they realized they had to do something. <br><br>It couldn't be too hard, after all, to make a living. Both trained in the art of spellcraft, one a talented mage and the other a skilled healer. So what could be the problem then, you ask? Well, as it turns out you're not much good without the certification and since they were booted from their home, neither one had managed to get serious enough about their education to complete it. Hell, they didn't even know the first thing about cooking or cleaning or tailoring so that basically left them with two options. They could be tavern wenches, an idea that had the pair of them wrinkling their noses in disgust, or... they could make their own way taking the odd job around town for money. It is common knowledge that you can find work in pretty much any tavern in any city or village in the land. Usually, there's some sort of board with the random task or request for pay posted and the girls knew just where to look. <br><br>Tucked away in the forests that surrounded Wands, there was one such village barely a days walk from the pearly magical gates the girls had known as home. Pewtershire. Known as a frequent stop along the trading routes for wanderers and adventurers alike who preferred the quaint country feel over the extravagant walls of the mage's city. Within the thatched rooftops and muddy streets was a pub with a colorful reputation known by all the locals within one hundred square miles... or kilometers... or leagues... I forget the measurements. Really, it makes no sense to me. Why doesn't everyone just get on the same page... Yes, yes, sorry, sorry! look, I'm old, okay? You youngins are so impatient. <br><br>The pub in question was named "The Wayward Princess" and the owner was almost as bizarre as the establishment itself. On any night you could find patrons drunkenly dancing in their knickers on tables or sitting around the fire talking about how things were in the good old days. Don't even ask me about the rooms upstairs. I can tell you the sheets were rarely washed. I still have nightmares about the toilets, too. There were two things the locals knew would never change about the place. First, never under any circumstances eat the beef stroganoff.. and two, old Rumtung, the owner, would always be willing to pay ten silver for ten rat tails. Why he did this, no one ever knew, nor did anyone know what was done with said rat tails upon delivery. Not sure I wanna know, to be honest with ya. Might explain the stroganoff, now that I put the two together. <br><br>He was a peculiar man in his request. It always had to be ten exactly. You couldn't, say, bring him eight tails and get eight silver. It always had to be ten. No more, no less. Not just any old tails, either! No, he wanted the tails of a very particular rat that inhabited the caves in the foothills near the village. How he could always spot a fake was beyond me. Rather a strange hobby, if you ask. What's that? Yes, well my toenails aren't that strange, you know? Some of them belonged to well-known wizards and saints. Some of them are blessed! I have one from a famous lady of the evening too. Still has some red paint on it. <br><br>Ten silver wasn't much, but after the girls had used their remaining cash to purchase some ill-fitting gear and provisions, it would be enough to see them through with room and questionable food for a week and give them time to think. So they headed out from Pewtershire towards the mountains early one morning figuring they could easily get the ten and perhaps triple that number and figure out what they were going to do about their situation. <br><br>They were a mage and wannabe fighter, after all...&nbsp; How hard could it be, really? Killing ten little defenseless rodents. They'd figured they'd be back in time to still enjoy afternoon luncheon. </span></div>
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				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Beautiful Poison</strong> on <strong>13-08-2018, 04:54:37</strong>
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				<div class="floatright">(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/db/e9/cf/dbe9cf5fe0e93ceb0b2c4707e6679664--character-portraits-character-ideas.jpg)</div> <br>Had the door to the pub felt this heavy the first time she had pushed it open? Sophia couldn't really remember as she forced the thick wooden panels forward with a low grunt, feeling the warmed air that stunk of stale ale wash over her sweaty face. The streets were dark as the sun had already dipped below the line of trees, shadows reaching their long fingers to grasp the town in twilight and the pair of girls stood in utter shellshock as the light from the tavern illuminated their failure for all to see. <br><br>Sophia squinted, her sharp blue eyes watering as the firelight assaulted them. She stood not quite a head taller than the trembling redhead at her side as they took a second to let their vision adjust. Her signature Evenember hair was in tatters, the elaborate braid that Les had put there that morning was now pulled apart and frazzled. She cast her eyes over to the girl and noticed there were a few stray twigs sticking out from her auburn locks and she quickly plucked them. If she'd pulled a hair the green eyes didn't show it as they gazed unblinkingly ahead, more through the tavern than actually seeing anyone or anything in it.<br><br>"You girls looked like you've been dragged behind some carts all afternoon." <br><br>Rumtung laughed from the other side of the counter, giving the girl's thick and curvy frames a once over with his watery, piggy eyes. <br><br>What a joke they must have looked like now. They had traded their dresses for pants and shirts, not to mention a corset that barely fit Sophie's broad frame. She had felt so confident strapping the short sword to her hip as Les had picked out her garments and inspected staves to see if anything would be a better fit than the one father had given her. Killing rats was supposed to have been easy, they thought. They were just supposed to be rats...<br><br>"So I take it you lass's don't have my tails, then?"&nbsp; <br><br>The innkeeper smiled a wide, mostly toothless grin, showing off the few blackened pegs he did have left in his face for chewing. The breath from his laughter reminded her of the dank caves the pair had just fled. <br><br>She looked at him in what she hoped would be a stern way but all it managed to do was make him laugh harder and point them to an empty table in the corner of the tavern.<br><br>"Your usual spot,<em> ladies</em>?" He embellished the last word with an overly dramatic bow and sway of his hand. <br><br>They picked their way through the throngs of guests, all of whom were looking then over. The chortling was difficult for the proud Evenember girl to ignore, but she had to admit, they had every reason to be amused. Their clothing was torn and their skin was marked with a series of cuts and grazes, some of which, she noticed, were still bleeding. The sword at her side had felt so sharp in the shop but turned out to be duller than her grandfather's small talk over dinner. No doubt a charm of some sort. No wonder it had been such a good deal. <br><br>She fell heavily onto the uncomfortable, unyielding chair, wincing in pain as the wood groaned under her weight. <br><br>"Dogs..." she muttered more to herself than to her companion. "They were the size of fucking dogs..."&nbsp; <br><br>She adjusted her tattered blue and black tunic under the cheap leather bodice as she fished the coin purse from her plentiful cleavage. <br><br>"I didn't know they could get that large..." It was a fact that she was still struggling to accept. Clearly, no one had warned her of this and she felt betrayed by all her fancy schooling as if it should have somehow prepared her for this. <br><br>She pried the purse open and shook the meager contents around, counting the few copper and silver inside that was the last of their money. 
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>KieraJade</strong> on <strong>15-08-2018, 21:56:32</strong>
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				<div class="floatright">(https://mfiles.alphacoders.com/402/402340.jpg)</div>If Lesniya had a reaction to Rumtung’s idiotic joke, it didn’t show on her dirt-stained face. His toothless grin as he mocked her and Sophia while they made their way to the table they had inhabited more than once in this tavern made her want to vomit all over his shoes just out of spite. <br><br>It probably would’ve been an improvement on the smell. <br><br>When Sophia took a seat in the chair, Les picked her way to the bench that occupied the other edge of the wooden surface. Gingerly, because of the scrape marks on her round, curvy ass beneath what she had thought were leather leggings that she wore, she sat down. It was the first time since entering the tavern that she had winced. Or even made a sound. <br><br>Dirt covered the side of her face. It even extended into her hair, which at this point, looked like a comical rats nest of red and gold. Tugging the edge of her tunic out from underneath one of her bracers on her wrist, she began scrubbing at the dried bits. Her motions were both tired and world-weary at the same time. Her green eyes, once vibrant and hopeful, were now dull and flat. <br><br>Shooting a meaningful glance at Rumtung as Soph dug through the last of their money, Les curled her upper lip in disgust. “We were set up.” She muttered. “We’re lucky our legs are still intact, and that those bloody beasts didn’t chew ‘em off.” <br><br>“But clearly…” Les dropped her hands back to the table, fiddling with the now completely dirty edge of the tunic. “…We are easy marks.” <br><br>Two mugs of ale, short, foaming at the top, were set in front of the girls by a tavern maid that was old enough to be their mother, curvy enough to keep at least three men warm at night, and heartfelt enough to smile at the girls knowingly before ambling away. Les gripped the mug, bringing it closer as her shoulders hunched even more as if hoarding the brew. Her cracked, caked nails spun around the top of the mug. “Which I am utterly tired of being, Soph. We need a new plan…” <br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Beautiful Poison</strong> on <strong>19-08-2018, 07:43:43</strong>
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				<div class="floatright">(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/db/e9/cf/dbe9cf5fe0e93ceb0b2c4707e6679664--character-portraits-character-ideas.jpg)</div> <br><br>Sophia heaved a heavy, road weary sigh of agreement to the words of her friend as she pulled the strings of the small satchel shut and tucked it into her substantial cleavage. It was only then that she noticed the cut and the dribble of dried blood that had snaked it's way down her pale skin and vanished in the valley of her bust. <br><br>"Yeah, I think you're right, Les. Honestly, no one could handle rats that size and..." <br><br>She had just been in the middle of picking the crusted ruby droplets from her skin when the door to the inn slammed open and nearly every head in the joint snapped up to see who it was. Well, except for the drunken folks in the corner who were perched precariously on the windowsill singing a song about a wizard who got fire ants on his pecker trying to fuck a dryad. <br>&nbsp;<br>A young man... no, upon closer inspection it was a boy no older than seventeen. He was scrawny and looked like he could barely hold up the bulging bag he carried on his back. Behind him, two more young and dirty faces poked into the tavern. Their hair was wild and windswept and their clothing looked tattered and patched, but still in better condition than either of the girls. <br><br>The bruised raven-haired woman felt her stomach flip over as she saw the pack that the boy carried was bulging to bursting with fresh rattails. They hung limply out of every crease and crevis, their bald wormlike skin gleaming in the low flickering lamps of the pub. <br><br>"Another haul, Patrick?" <br><br>Rumtung said with a wide grin, rubbing his meaty palms over his pock-marked cheeks as he inspected their offering. <br><br>"Yes, sir!" squeaked the boy, his voice cracking with enthusiasm. "Another fifty tails. I don't know how they multiply so fast but I'm glad they do!" <br><br>The scowl on Sophia's face aged her features prematurely and only deepened as the barkeep hoised the sack in the air, looked directly over at the girls and gave a little amused nod. They could still hear him guffawing all the way down to the kitchen in the basement.&nbsp; The kids, because that's what they were, took a table nearby and eagerly split their newly acquired fifty silver pieces between them. <br><br>"Kids... they're fucking children." She hissed under her breath, turning back to look at Les under a cloud of dejection. "I thought we could do this on our own but... but..." <br><br>She stammered and took a swig of the sour ale. It did little to rinse the taste of shame of having to stoop so low as to drink it in the first place from her mouth. <br><br>"Maybe we need help?" She asked, feeling her proud nature buckle under the weight of an empty coin purse. <br><br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>KieraJade</strong> on <strong>20-08-2018, 14:57:58</strong>
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				<div class="floatright">(https://mfiles.alphacoders.com/402/402340.jpg)</div>As the boy dropped the over-laden bag of rattails off to the fat bastard collecting them, Lesniya’s jaw dropped open. It comically stayed that way for several moments while she just stared. How were they doing it? She barely had enough time to save her own ass, let alone kill the rat beasts that had been swirling around them while the girls screamed in the mud. <br><br>Sophia’s hissed whispers brought Les back into the present and she shoved a hand through her wild mane to push the tangled mass back from her eyes, swearing under her breath before taking a drink of the ale. Her tongue darted out to grab the drop left on her lower lip before she nodded in agreement to her companion’s question. “Aye, we need help. Someone who can best those rats with one swipe…Oh!” She perked up as the idea went off her in head like a lightbulb. <br><br>“Soph,” She started, leaning forward and hissing a whisper. “If we could find someone good enough with a sword to help us, and dumb enough to do it for a small price, then maybe we could learn from the idiot. There has to be some sort of secret to these beasties.” She gestured back towards the door where the boys who’s balls hadn’t even dropped yet were counting their loot and splitting it. Her voice dropped to a hushed hiss. As if she was angry to have to even spit out the words “If those blokes can do it, and get fifty, there’s got to be something we’re just missing!” <br><br>Leaning back, her green eyes began to sweep the room. “But who would take us on…”<br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Valace</strong> on <strong>26-08-2018, 20:48:15</strong>
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				<div align="center"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" class="bbc_size">Oh, but before I continue perhaps I should introduce the third party to our lovely little story. Unlike our ambitious, if rather naïve and inexperienced heroines, the man soon regretting ever setting a foot into ‘The Wayward Princess’ had accumulated heaps of it. What a heap is? It’s somewhere between a ton and a shitload okay. Or perhaps even more. I forget. Anyone want some stew? What do you mean the eye is looking at you? You can’t make Eastspring Stew without frogman eyes. What do they teach you kids these days? It’s even more important than the Goreboar snout and the lanky vulture meat. Trust me when you feel it pop between your teeth and the bitter juices flood your tongue you forget all about the snout. No? Well it’s your loss.<br><br>Now where was I? Our dear hero yes. Unlike the ladies he grew up far from any opulent cities, plotting nobles or regular showers. Now, unlike the ‘the city where everyone pretended that shit didn’t smell even though it most certainly did of wands’, I wasn’t actually there at the time so most of this is what I’ve heard from others. I know, I know, it’s a bit like trying to find the traces of someone’s pussy on a dick in an orgy. The traces are there somewhere but you have no idea who else screwed with it. It’s all we have however so let’s get to this particular cock shall we? <br><br>It was said to be a small highland village parked right in the couchy center of a sprawling valley surrounded by a ring of mountains tall enough never to lose the white frosting on their turgid peaks. I say was because when our brave lad was all of a dozen summers a terrible winter drove the goblins from their dank dens under the mountains into desperate attacks on their surroundings.<br><br>One of these attacks struck a terrible blow to the peaceful village leaving only a few scattered survivors. Our lad was at the time fortunate enough to be out in the nearby forest tending the charcoal piles. His mother was the village blacksmith and as an apprentice blacksmith he was expected to know every part of the process. Thus he had, by fortunate circumstances, and with only the briefest of protests since our boy even then was a remarkably responsible soul, been sent out of harm’s way into the woods to look at smoldering piles of wood. <br><br>Blacksmith’s son losing his whole family and swearing to take up the sword and fight for justice is a cliché? Why yes, thank you for noticing. Did you know that approximately seven out of ten warriors were blacksmith apprentices that lost their families and/or master tragically? The rest of them come from royals that were framed or kidnapped as babies and swore to restore their thrones or orphans that then turned out to be royals. Now I suppose our hero could indeed be a lost royal but if so then nothing’s ever come of it and that’s simply not how destiny works.<br><br>Fresh with the loss of his family and village, and burning inside to take revenge on the evil goblin tribes, he set out with nothing but what he could scrounge from the remains of the village. A simple sword, a mail shirt of copper and a few apples. Why the mail was copper I have no idea. They worked in iron after all so it makes little sense. Not that there really should have been any mail shirts at all in the village as there were no soldiers in it or the goblin attack would not have succeeded but I guess every hero needs to start somewhere and that were is copper.<br><br>Either way our stubborn, and badly geared young man, set out with nothing but the most basic skill, no talents and nothing but the last words whispered by his dying mother to guide his way. This was the old days when quests weren’t handed out with convenient maps telling you where to go you see. No, you had to find your way on your own and actually listen to the information you got, or find yourself having to crawl back and ask for the quest again, a shame if ever there was one.<br><br>Not that there was much a ten and two year old boy can do against a tribe of goblins regardless if he should somehow track them to their cavernous lair. Something even his stubborn ass managed to admit and thus he set out for the nearby city of Torbet. Now, I couldn’t say exactly what happened on the way there but he arrived with a new sword, a hat that didn’t fit over the wild nest of chest nut hair all tangled in dried blood, and a whole new set of lovely scars to impress the ladies with. Not that he was old enough to appreciate this fact. <br><br>Scruffy as he was he still somehow managed to convince the local weapon’s master to take him on, despite being at least a few years too young to even be able to properly swing the big old crowbar of a sword he’d been sidled with. My guess is that his new master had forgotten to bring his bonus defense against determined kids with soulful blue eyes necklace, and thus had no resistance to the attack of forced sympathy. Or the bloodthirsty bastard figured the hate towards the goblins would come well handy could it only be channeled properly.<br><br>A few years of training under a ruthless taskmaster of a weapon’s teacher; I don’t know quite why they have to be ruthless you know, perhaps the kids won’t learn anything but I digress. It saw our young warrior running endless kill and fetch quests and swinging a bigger and bigger dick, I mean sword, around while slowly learning how to fend for himself in a world that had shown him just what kind of a huge bag of rancid ball sweat it could be. Hours upon hours in the smithy had already started to form him into a broad, thick hewed bastard and becoming a young man certainly did nothing to change that. He grew taller and broader and soon his thick limbs were clad in steel as thick as the iron around his heart. Yes thank you, I was quite pleased with that turn of phrase I have to say.</span></div><br><div align="center">(http://hbimg.b0.upaiyun.com/3ba10019ed6f8ea90692bc5310d848d829a735181c9aa-LaGOie_fw658)</div><br><div align="center"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" class="bbc_size">He started to venture further and further out, ever seeking more dangerous opponents and any new information about the attack on his village he could lay his paws upon. For a long time he had little success. Few explored the Rockscale Mountains deep enough. Leaving the goblins that sought the surface in search of easy prey and shit to steal the only target for his vengeance. He took on every task and quest he could find in the area, until finally he started to make enough of a name for himself to garner some attention. </span></div><br><div align="center">{Please Select Character Name}</div><br><div align="center"><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size"><span class="bbc_u">C</span></span> <span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size"><span class="bbc_u">E</span></span> <span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size"><span class="bbc_u">R</span></span> <span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size"><span class="bbc_u">I</span></span> <span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size"><span class="bbc_u">A</span></span> <span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size"><span class="bbc_u">S</span></span></div>&nbsp; &nbsp;<div align="center">{Press Enter to Confirm}</div><br><div align="center"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" class="bbc_size">The lord’s captain of the guard, I forget his name and ‘Cocksucker in shiny helmet’ just sounds rude, summoned him and charged him with gathering a few companions to hunt down and end the threat of the Rockscale goblins once and for all. Of what transpired in the depths of those dungeons we shall mention as little of as possible. Partly because hours of wandering in dark caves and sudden ambushes can get a bit boring after a while, and partly because, well, it really doesn’t matter. Seeing how they had managed to tear one of those nasty minded elf tarts from her perch on the nearest mailbox I have my suspicions however. <br><br>Now, Cerias got his revenge, a new sword and even a fancy new title. But nothing to sooth the wrath burning deep inside. I would have told him to go get laid you know. If sticking your sword into something doesn’t work then try your meat saber I say, but I wasn’t there, and he’s always been too dumb to listen to good advice anyway, so he set out into the world. A defender and protector, his services were always sought after soon the challenge of a new enemy alone had his blood pumping and his heart racing. But dealing with rogue after rogue, and spellcaster after spellcaster, that didn’t bother to wait for him to properly insult the heritage of the current head asked to be parted from the shoulders it had occupied ever since it was born, before they started to stab or blast away, left him quite the surly and cantankerous bastard.&nbsp; <br><br>Then came the healing shortage of O-six. How there can be a god’s be damned shortage of them when they prance around in every city telling everyone how good their particular god’s asshole tastes I don’t know, but suddenly you couldn’t find one out on the road if you dangled a group of easily converted heathens shitting gold at the crossroads. After that it was the year when the summoning stones at the Mora’Gori temple all stopped working.<br><br>The sudden influx of rangers after they realized they could somehow use every single lootable item there was certainly didn’t help and finally he decided to leave it all behind. Someone, names shall not be named lest new anuses be discovered in unhealthy locations, let slip there was this lovely little village called Pewtershire. A heaven where only the most elite and dedicated gathered and not a single dancing elf nor newly bedecked adventurer asking one of their betters to ‘please just join them for this one dungeon it will be quick’, would soil the vicinity with their presence.<br><br>Thus our hopeful third part of the story ended up sitting with a big tankard of watery mead, wondering where everything had gone so spectacularly wrong. </span> </div>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Valace</strong> on <strong>26-08-2018, 20:48:42</strong>
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				<div class="floatright">(http://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.roosterteeth.com/uploads/images/54063e01-6933-4e38-b195-d0fc28595a06/md/2181220-1448930942333-Warrior_Karsten_Face.jpg)</div>Stifling a curse Cerias ripped his eyes off the bedraggled pair of women sitting at the other side of the floor and parked them steadily down into his mead, staring at it like the arch bishop did the collect basket as it passed by the thief’s guild. He made sure to erase any hints of mirth, or curiosity, about the two women that might have snuck into place and fixed his usual scowl into place. It had served to keep the worst of the green horns away from his table. But if he made eye contact that would all be over with. Like starving puppies you couldn’t pay any attention to them or they’d follow you around until you broke down, and gods help you if you fed them. <br><br>He’d seen the pair for the first time a couple of days before. When he’d just arrived in this hellhole and found he couldn’t get out of it for at least a week and had parked his ass in the local tavern. Despite misgivings so heavy they could have collapsed the dwarf halls of Vartyr. Not only had every Pegasus imprinted to the next city after The City of ‘Sparkling Fucksticks’ present at the local stables been hired by some bloody herbalist convention, and riding to it would take at least a week, but he didn’t have any other cities or villages added to his allowable flypaths yet. That you had to acquire each license locally was one of those things that seriously had him consider regicide to a genocidal degree. There was no way he was returning to the 'Spitshined jewel of the west' either.<br><br>With the choices either being to stay in place, relax a bit and do his best to avoid all ass-fresh adventurers, or do a long trek through god knew what amount of weeping peasants that had just lost their favorite hoe or heirloom watering can, and were just hoping for a hero to come by to just please fetch it for them, he wondered if the third option of accidentally falling on his blade might be viable. But since he had a contract set up with the Sisters of Lumnious Light to resurrect his sorry ass should he happen to get his sorry ass killed, that would not help him at all. In the end his desire to do absolutely nothing won out and he resigned to park his ass in the tavern and not move for a week. <br><br>Despite the odd choice of gear, it was very obvious from how they moved that they were both casters, and despite silently wondering why the fuck one of them were carrying a dull ass training blade, he’d paid as little attention to them as possible, apart from a few appreciative glances at the very abundant riches stretching out the fabric of their clothes. Curves that would tempt even the Cardinal of Ulores. They’d been over by the bounty board anyway and his interest in who they were, and why two obviously under geared and hopelessly weak beginners browsed quests for adventurers with at least the merest hint of seasoning, and the faint urge to go over and warn them, evaporated as soon as he remembered the last time he’d taken pity on a couple of beginners. <br><br>Instead he claimed a room where he left most of the heavy carapace of thick steel that usually enclosed his thick limbs. It had him stick out like a sore thumb coated in nettles and rammed up the wrinkly sphincter of the priest during congregation. If he wanted any hope of being left alone he’d have to stay in his leathers and leave his scowl to do the rest. His thick, chestnut hair had bleached somewhat from hours and hours of sunlight, and constantly having to wash blood out of it, and it was now long enough to cover his ears. He’d considered having it cut more than once. But that had to wait for the city. Just like his hopes for some blessed silence.<br><br>Leaning back in his chair with a ragged sigh, and very pointedly not looking in the direction of the two despondent, and impressively bedraggled, women, he turned his two mile sky blue gaze over to the boys counting their money after their successful rat hunt. It actually had his lips twitch in the barest hint of a smile as he recalled the same rush of satisfaction and pride completing his first couple of quests. Oh how that had quickly soured. One of the gangly boys had even braved his frown and asked for help. Cerias had suggested he find a few likeminded friends instead. Thankfully that was all he’d had to do.<br><br>‘Rats. Why was it always rats…’ He mused as he returned to his drink. He’d heard whispers that if you turned in enough of them you’d find out what they were used for. But after tasting the stew here, he already had his suspicions and he was not keen on actually knowing. Trying very hard not to look like the hilt of his finely crafted sword, or the soft shine to his dark Thunderboar hide tunic and pants, marked him as a seasoned warrior, he cursed the light for how it cast a shimmering glamor around him in the dank tavern. Silently he prayed that his momentary lapse of curiosity wouldn’t draw the attention he feared it would and his eyes left the now almost empty tankard to once more pan over the packed room towards where the two women had sat.<br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Beautiful Poison</strong> on <strong>17-09-2018, 18:08:27</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://mfiles.alphacoders.com/402/402340.jpg)</div><div class="floatleft">(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/db/e9/cf/dbe9cf5fe0e93ceb0b2c4707e6679664--character-portraits-character-ideas.jpg)</div> <br>&nbsp;Who <em>would</em> take them on? It was a good question and at one point, Sophia would have laughed and the girls would have taken their pick. As it was, fake stories and vial rumors had spread pretty widely around Wands and it had narrowed down their pool of possible... suitors to nothing. The question wasn't so easily answered now as Sophia twisted in her chair, wincing as what would be an inevitable bruise tugged at her stomach. She cast her tired and disheartened violet eyes around the tavern, doing her best to avoid the prepubescent teens splitting their hoard of silver between them. There had to be a better option than the kids, right? Course, she was pretty sure she'd die of shame having to ask them so it would solve her problem one way or another. <br><br>There was a loud bang of wood on wood as the door to the kitchens below collided with the moldy oak walls and Sophie jumped in her stool then hissed at the bone-deep pain. The bright light from the roaring open fire behind burned its way across the musty and mostly dark room, making her squint against its glowing onslaught. It reached its long finger across the floor and she followed its path as if it was leading her... pointing her to their very answer. Their salvation, even. <br><br>There, at the bar, his broad shoulders bathed in the golden amber light of the heavens was their answer. The patches of polished metal around his mostly leather clothing made him glimmer as he leaned heavily on the counter. Even from this distances his physical prowess was hard to mask. He looked strong. Strong and...&nbsp; Sophia leaned unapologetically far back, craning her neck to try and catch a glimpse of his profile. Nope, definitely not someone from Wands. Tough, old, and by the looks of it, a seasoned warrior, or at least a fighter of some sort. <br>"Les..." <br><br>She hissed, having failed to notice her partner had already tipped back her tankard for a long and well-earned swallow of ale. <br><br>"Les!" <br><br>She tried again, too afraid to take her eyes off of the grizzled looking guy for a second as if the moment the door shut and her beacon of light snuffed out she would lose him in the dank darkness of their own misfortune. She groped blindly behind her for a hand or an elbow or something. <br><br>"Do you see him? Les?!"<br><br>Finally, she made contact and the soft, full globe of the redhead's youthful bouncy breast sank between her fingers.<br><br>The ale quenched her dry throat enough that it was no longer a pain to simply swallow. Lesniya could hear Sophie call out for her, but just one more drop of the liquid amber was what she needed. It soothed her cracked lips and… <br><br>“WHAT?!”<br><br>She finally cracked out as the raven-haired woman’s hand made contact with her tit. The word wasn’t as loud as she had tried to make it. In fact, it stuck in her throat slightly and Les started coughing a bit to clear it up. What she didn’t do was swat Soph’s fingers from her form. It was as if she didn’t mind the woman’s hand on her breasts. It was through a ragged, dirty tunic, but that made little difference at the moment. Les leaned into the hold, trying to see where Sophia’s eyes were trained. She had to squint her own to make out the form. Her brow furrowed almost comically for a moment. <br><br>When she spoke, her voice was still harsh and cracked, the whisper softening as the words spilled out in a hurry. “Who-who is that?? Does he have a <em>Thunderbore</em> hide tunic on?? Oh gods, Soph, do you see the size of his sword?!”<br><br>It didn't register at first until she felt the soft perky globes gently swell up around her digits that Sophia had, as it turned out, not found an elbow. But it didn't matter because clearly Les had spotted the intended target. She released her grasp upon her partner's hefty chest, letting her tender and scratched palm&nbsp; slap down onto the scrubbed wooden surface of the table they shared. <br><br>It never failed to impress the youngest Evenember, just how keen those emerald eyes of Lesniya's turned out to be. She spotted the quality of his tunic at once and she hadn't even noticed the impressive girth of the sword the man had tucked at his hip. <br><br>"Can he&nbsp; actually swing that sucker out and around or is it just for show, ya think?" She asked, leaning around again to inspect the musculature of his arms in the shitty light of the filthy tavern lanterns.<br><br>“The only way to find out for sure is to get him into action” Lesniya said in response to Sophia’s query. “But his boots look travel-worn. And his arms could be mistaken for tree limbs…” <br><br>With a flash of wide eyes, Lesniya snapped her fingers in Sophia’s direction quickly. The warrior with the sizeable sword was not turned in their general direction. Instead his shoulders were decidedly hunched and only his profile was in view. As if he was trying to keep his face from the light. “Soph… Soph…” Lesniya hissed. “Give me something… your… give me your small boot.” <br><br>“What? Why??” The confusion on the dark-haired woman’s face was evident as she turned back around to face the adopted Evenember daughter swiftly clearing their tankards to the side. Reaching forward, Lesniya tucked and tugged on Sophia’s bodice and tunic to bring her ample cleavage into prime view, her tone imperative. “ <em>Whist! </em>Your. SHOE. WOMAN.” <br><br>While Sophia maneuvered the boot off, Les kept an eye on their intended target. He took another draw from his tankard, apparently oblivious to what was about to cross his path. Maybe their fate wasn’t sealed after all. Starvation and death wasn’t imminent as long as they could pull off just one more....<br><br>Lesniya stretched her hand out, waiting for the other woman’s shoe. This was a desperate effort, but this was also a desperate time for the women. And Les was willing to try almost anything to help them survive.<br><br>The heel of Sohpia’s small boot landed in her palm and without another thought, Lesniya leaned to the side, cocked her arm back and let the muddy, leather-soled footwear sail through the air.<br><br>“No, what the hell…”.<br><br>Too late as Sophia’s purply blue eyes followed the earth splattered shoe as it sailed through the air. Please don’t hit him, please don’t hit him she thought furiously to herself but as the boot made contact with the side of the man’s broad shoulder, smearing mud and bits of grass on what was likely a tunic they couldn’t hope to afford. The reluctant priestess groaned audibly.<br><br>She turned to flash a glare over her shoulder only to find that Les was now cowering, hiding behind her and looking up with amused and apologetic eyes. <br><br>The choice words the woman had for her childhood friend danced at the back of her throat as she turned to face the now assaulted warrior they had hoped to subtlety get the attention of. <br><br>“Excuse me, uhh…. Sir” She began, hearing her voice so thick with discomfort she might as well pick it up and hurdle it at him as well. <br><br>“I… dropped my shoe.”<br><br>Lame. So fucking lame… there was no way this was gonna work.<br><br><br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Valace</strong> on <strong>19-09-2018, 22:05:39</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(http://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.roosterteeth.com/uploads/images/54063e01-6933-4e38-b195-d0fc28595a06/md/2181220-1448930942333-Warrior_Karsten_Face.jpg)</div>When a few minutes had passed without any whiny ‘Excuse me’, simpering ‘What a big sword you have’ or abrasive ‘Hey dude!’, Cerias finally found himself starting to relax just a tiny bit. He still kept his shoulder towards the desolate pair of hopeless newbies, and his face as much out of the light cast by the hearth as he could. But the worst of his fears gradually lessened. Along with the tension in his arms and neck. Slowly he let a drawn out breath escape his lips. Despite the pair of them doing the best impersonation of two beggars that had been through a stampede of vermin chased by a shit storm in the sewers, he couldn’t deny they still had some fetching sights to offer.<br><br>Not like what his gaze was welcomed by on the other end. An enormous slab of sweaty muscle, tangled hair braided with bone charm’s and a breath that could have not only woken the dead but turned them all too, laid snoring in a comfortable looking heap under one table. In the dark it was impossible to even tell the gender of the thing, and he had no wish at all to investigate closer. Especially since there was some faint movement in the dark shadows creeping along the legs of the tables and chairs deep in the corners that had him wonder if there wasn’t some sort of personal vendetta between the rats and the innkeeper.<br><br>It wasn’t the first time Cerias speculated if the place couldn’t do with a small case of burning down. The stench of beer, urine and moldy straw fought a terrible battle with that of rendered fat and soot coming from the kitchen over the prime estate of his nose and he was still entirely sure the owner had overcharged him grossly. There was simply no way a night at a crinkled orc-anus like this could cost anywhere near…<br><br>A low thump broke through his happy little place of irate grumbles as a wave of watery ale splashed over his chin and chest, cascading down like piss colored rain over his lap. Always on edge he nearly ripped his blade out of the scabbard to see what the hell strange event had something agro on him in here. But with so many weak ass adventurers around he’d hardly be the first target. Instead he kept his eyes closed for a long moment as he drew in a deep, breath, trying, and failing, to smother the raising ire bubbling up from inside. If one of those dumb ass kids had thrown something at him he’d find those rat tails they’d so painstakingly collected and shove them into any available hole he could find and then he would….<br><br>He opened his eyes and stared at the small, almost dainty, boot that hung lazily from the rim of his tankard, like some kind of perverse cocktail stick. The only thing missing was the olive.<br><br>‘I’m not turning around. It never ends well to respond in any way. I know exactly what happens if I do.’<br><br>The rest of him ignored the calm and assertive voice of reason entirely. The irritation was too powerful to shake off as both his pride and beer bequeathed tunic demanded satisfaction. The only sound in the room was the patter of ale against the floorboards and the odd pop from the cheap wood in the hearth as his body inexorably turned towards the two soon to be very sorry women. Like a battleship turning its broadside towards a pair of rowboats. With every inch he turned, more and more of his broad chest and shoulders came into view and the amber pearls of ale gleamed over the black leather in the flickering light.<br><br>“Excuse me, uhh…. Sir….I… dropped my shoe.”<br><br>The shadows cast over his eye sockets made them look like gun ports where the reflection of the flame in his sapphire iris was like the flash of matches waiting for the order to fire the cannons. As he leaned forwards towards them, fully ignoring the voice in his head that still went on about how he wouldn’t turn around, the grey hair, sprinkled in with the rest of the dark stubble along his strong jawline, gleamed like stars through mist.<br><br>-I’ll just stare at them, show them my displeasure. Send them running anyway. I’m not going over there. I’ll just go back to drinking by ale and pretending the world isn’t filled with irritating dumbasses thinking my sword is there for their personal use.-<br><br>The voice went on as it realized that he already were looking at the two ragged women. Another small voice growled at the sight of all the creamy cleavage now showing as the dark haired one seemed to almost be spilling out of her bodice. That too was pushed aside as the momentum of his leaning forward necessitated bracing with one foot. Then, since he was halfway standing already, his body decided that he might as well go all the way and with the soft creak of supple leather he came to his feet. He didn’t know when he’d picked up the boot but he already held on to it, the small footwear seemed even smaller than it was in his broad, callused hand.<br><br>-I know better than to walk over there.-<br><br>The inner monologue went on, entirely unheeded by the rest of his body which had the first step locked in and the next already queued up. Heavy boots struck the tired old planks of the floor, sending up straw and dust in small clouds as he walked up to their table. A tall, powerfully built warrior, he towered over them, one broad hand on the wolf’s head pommel of his sword, the other holding the shoe between thumb and index finger as he stared down at them.<br><br>-Just dropping the shoe and leaving. Just dropping it off is all.-<br><br>The voice chanted in the back of his head. Still clinging on to hope of a calm evening devoid of nagging adventurers. <br><br>Cerias let his eyes pan from the disheveled and bruised brunette with the miles of cleavage and over to the tangled mess of redhead that hid behind her. Torn clothes, all cloth, barely hiding the streaks of mud and blood that marred them both. He wondered if they’d even gotten through the introduction to adventuring yet or just grabbed whatever weapon was closest and ran out into the wilds. But surely no one was that dumb?<br><br>“No!”<br><br>He ground out, voice deep and flat. <br><br>“I’m not doing it. Do you know why?”<br><br>He let go of the boot. Letting it fall right into whatever tankard was closest to splash the contents all over the table and whomever was unlucky enough to sit next to it.<br><br>“Because you never know when the other shoe drops. And it always drops!”<br><br>-Good I said it….now to just walk away…don’t let your eyes wander down into the deep cavernous cleavage off…-<br><br>-….-<br><br>-….-<br><br>-Ahh fuck…..-<br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Beautiful Poison</strong> on <strong>25-09-2018, 07:59:46</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/db/e9/cf/dbe9cf5fe0e93ceb0b2c4707e6679664--character-portraits-character-ideas.jpg)</div> <br><br>Her boot was not particularly large or heavy but it was most efficient in upending the tankard of cheap ale that had been sitting next to her, and thanks to Les, still remained full and undrunk, sending a cascade of pale, piss colored liquid washing not only over the table but spilling across Sophia as well. <br><br>She sputtered in pure shock as the river of liquid breached the collar of her tunic like flood waters over a levee, leaving her front absolutely sopping wet. The dark navy fabric already yanked lower than low by her "helpful" partner almost washed away completely, only perching on the rapidly hardening ridges of her nipples. The darkened skin of her areolas peeked just over the soaked, frilly ridge of clothing. <br><br>Never before had someone been so unceremoniously rude to her, or for that matter, tipped a drink over on her and she sat there, looking up at him like some half-drowned kitten in utterly dumbstruck. <br><br>The entire tavern fell silent, save for a smattering of rude snickering from the nearby tables. The pig-eyed owner clapped his meaty hands together in glee and the whole pub erupted into roars of laughter. <br><br>The wannabe warrior felt her cheeks burn hot read with anger and humiliation. <br><br>"What do you mean, no?!" <br><br>She yelled back, sweeping her sopping hair from her face and glaring up at him, her purple-blue eyes hard but also hurt. She never took rejection well and this had to be the most demoralizing turndown since, well, two days ago. Getting turned down by a farmer had been her low point. That was until about 3 seconds ago. <br><br>"I haven't even asked you anything yet." She stammered, folding her arms over her chest and only yanking the tunic down to a precarious depth. That damned breeze sent a chill through her and the rise of goosebumps across her milky white skin did not help make her look any more formidable. <br><br>"I... I only dropped my shoe. How do you know we even wanted anything from you?" <br><br>Action over inaction but dammit, Les... what was she supposed to do with this? 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>KieraJade</strong> on <strong>29-09-2018, 17:43:39</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://mfiles.alphacoders.com/402/402340.jpg)</div>The minute – no, the instant – that shoe left Lesniya’s hand, she knew it was going to hit harder than expected. She’d put too much spin on the boot. It was out of her control now though, so the first thing she did after watching wide-eyed while the leather and sole landed smack dab on precisely where she did NOT want it to land, was duck and hide behind Sophia.<br>&nbsp;<br>This was a disaster. <br><br>She could hear the much more brash Evenember give a lame excuse about the shoe. Without looking, she could even feel the stares they were getting from around the tavern. Les covered her face and groaned behind her fingers. They were dead. Doomed. Murder-bait, for sure.<br><br>Les didn’t look up as the target of the shoe-throwing mistake made his booted way over to their table. She couldn’t make herself open her fingers or pick her red-head up enough to even face the towering man. She felt the tears begin to well in her eyes even as the first word he spoke left his lips. Her own reaction made her even MORE upset because crying was such a stupid, lowly, female thing to do! What good were her tears?? <br><br>Then the shoe dropped. Right into Sophia’s beer. <br><br>Lesniya peeked up, tear-stained face and all. She watched as her best friend in the world, the one who never left her side through anything, was railed at, laughed at by the tavern, and then told no because of something she did. Worse, she was now covered in wet, sticky liquid. On top of being just as filthy as Les from the stupid rats. <br><br>Sophia yelled back at the man and stammered through excuses. Finally, Les pushed up from her hiding spot to glare at the man. The hardened, handsome warrior wasn’t as big as she had feared in person. It made her next actions of standing from the table and pushing her way around to shoulder herself between Sophia and the obstinate warrior easier. Although no less heart-racing. <br><br>Yanking the boot off the table, her tear-laden eyes glared up at the warrior who had turned down their last hope. She was sorely tempted to hit him across the jaw with it. Instead, she fought back tears.&nbsp; &nbsp;“Why would we want anything from a rude brute like you??” <br><br>Les glanced back at Sophia then and stepped back towards the door, putting both of their bedraggled forms in his line of sight again. “There are bigger swords out there, Soph. C’mon …”
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Valace</strong> on <strong>03-10-2018, 22:00:19</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(http://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.roosterteeth.com/uploads/images/54063e01-6933-4e38-b195-d0fc28595a06/md/2181220-1448930942333-Warrior_Karsten_Face.jpg)</div>Right, she hadn’t asked him anything ’yet’. Yet being the operative word there and the reason he crossed his powerful arms over his chest as his stare extracted itself from the dangerous depths of her cleavage, somewhat aided by her own shielding arms, and regrouped gazing down at the girl as she obviously scrambled for some words that would make sense. <br><br>&nbsp;"I... I only dropped my shoe. How do you know we even wanted anything from you?"<br><br>No words passed the frown on his lips but the raised eyebrow that was his sole response to the preposterous assertion would more than anything else give away just how much stock he put in that claim. He would sooner have believed a hobgoblin’s assurance of living a peaceful life with plentiful of showers. Only the wide eyed look of hurt disbelief spearing up at him kept him from just turning about and leaving. There was something fragile there that made a chink in his ‘I don’t care, just leave me alone +5’ armor.<br><br>Things certainly didn’t improve as an additional threated spawned out of nowhere as the redheaded one of the pair of miscreants pushed her way into the front, glaring at him with large eyes brimming with gleaming tears, that somehow ripped right through his male pride like a pair of armor piercing bolts that ignored the formerly mentioned armor entirely, to lodge a very unfamiliar knot of guilt down in the pit of his stomach. If it wasn’t for him having been faced that viciously effective tactic before he might have succumbed at the spot for it was very well executed indeed. Almost to the point he might believe it could be genuine.&nbsp; <br><br>“Why would we want anything from a rude brute like you??”<br><br>His inner self both cringed and gritted its teeth at the same time as he didn’t quite manage to subdue the instinctive shame of treating a pair of young ladies like that, until he remembered just who had actually instigated the whole thing. Yet he knew exactly where things where headed now. They’d storm out and then the whole Tavern would turn on him, casting their reproachful gazes his way, wondering what a monster of man he truly was. Cheating to the most extreme degree as it was, he had to admit it was damn well effective.<br>&nbsp;<br>‘You also do feel a bit bad for them.’ <br><br>The tiniest little annoying sliver deep within his mind whispered. <br><br>‘You wonder how they ended up here.’<br><br>No I bloody well don’t, he ensured himself, suffocating it under a decade of bad experiences with just the kind of tragic backstories and tear jerking material he smelled here. <br><br>“There are bigger swords out there, Soph. C’mon …”<br><br>That almost had him move, take a step towards them, and against his wishes his lips actually parted as if to respond before he had time to stifle the need to react to the goading. They really were trying to empty out every trick out of their bag of holding on this one. But he wouldn’t bend, wouldn’t break. His fists clenched a bit tighter, making his arms bulge a bit more as he locked them crossed over his chest and his jaw set like it was a castle door preparing for a siege. They would not make him budge.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Beautiful Poison</strong> on <strong>31-10-2018, 06:26:44</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/db/e9/cf/dbe9cf5fe0e93ceb0b2c4707e6679664--character-portraits-character-ideas.jpg)</div> The evening was brimming with unfamiliar and more importantly, unwelcomed new experiences for Sophia and feeling ale seep its way into her undergarments and trickle down her scalp was certainly up high on the list, but it wasn't the most surprising. That title was reserved this evening for Lesniya. The short normally bubbly redhead stood between her and the pig-headed asshole like a pit bull, even as her words quivered and her eyes shimmered with tears. If not for the fact that the man's actions had cut the Evenember so deeply that she was hemorrhaging self-pride, Sophia would have been more than a little impressed. <br><br><em>“There are bigger swords out there, Soph. C’mon …”</em><br><br>As Les's hand gripped her soaked and scratched shoulder and tugged, the raven-haired girl felt her shock ebb away, especially when she saw the tears spattering the otherwise determined face of her oldest friend. She rose to her feet, her battered and bruised curves screaming in protest at the all too brief rest. She was right though, Les... they couldn't just sit there in a puddle of their own embarrassment while this pea brain brawler made fools of them to a tavern full of people that were far far below the pair of them. <br><br>Wrapping a protective arm around Les and taking the boot in her other hand, she shot the man still towering over them a look of the deepest dislike she could muster. Her own amethyst eyes were slick with the threat of emotion but at the last minute, the tears halted, as if her pride was pulling them back by their leashes. A million seething insults bubbled just below the elegant curve of her throat but she hadn't the energy or the stomach to open her mouth, the only whisper of her unspoken words was the quiver of her lip. <br><br>"Let's go, Les." <br><br>She managed coldly after a moment, tugging on the shoulder under her arm and steering them both towards the door. <br><br>"Don't cry, k? Don't worry. I'm sure we'll figure something out... somehow." <br><br>It was awkward, walking with only one boot and the effect had Sophia limping and sounding more like a table with one leg cut too short than a dignified lady, but she tried god damn it! <br><br>That was it, they'd lost their touch she thought dully to herself. Every single man had turned them down and this one before they'd even gotten a chance. You could add that to the mounting list of shitty new experiences for the pair. That and the fact that for the first time in her entire life, Sophia had no idea where they would go, what they would do or where they would sleep. <br><br>Fear. Real and tangible gripped her gut like it had been dunked in ice water as she shouldered open the heavy tavern door. Somehow the night seemed much colder and much much darker than it had just half an hour earlier and she squeezed her friend closer to her side. <br><br>"There's always the... the...&nbsp; stables..." <br><br>She stammered, holding the door open and reluctantly looking down the street in it's direction. <br><br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>KieraJade</strong> on <strong>07-11-2018, 02:24:34</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				<div align="center"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" class="bbc_size"><em><strong>But for our girls, there wasn’t, in fact, always the stables.</strong></em></span></div><br><br><div align="center"><span style="font-size: 18pt;" class="bbc_size">:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞: ••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞: </span></div><br><div align="center">(http://pixelartmaker.com/art/3e3fb4d4a8794fd.png)</div><br><div align="center"><span style="font-size: 18pt;" class="bbc_size">:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞: ••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞: </span></div><br><div align="center">(http://pixelart.studio/Gallery/Image/a8f9c4be-1dc9-463b-83d3-5bf7791d888d?type=gif&amp;stuff=pixelartstudio_export&amp;author=Unknown%20author&amp;title=Loading%20gif)<br></div><div align="center"><span style="font-size: 18pt;" class="bbc_size">:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞: ••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞:••:۞: </span></div><br><br><div align="center"><span style="font-size: 14pt;" class="bbc_size">Oh, you’re still interested in learning more about these adventurers?? Good of you to stick around! Can you toss some more logs onto the fire please. No. No, not that one. Yes, that one. Oh, that’s good. Does my shriveled ol’ heart some good to see a traveler such as yourself interested in a tale of…<br><br>…What? The stables? <br><br>Oh! Yes, yes. The stables. Story, right. <br><br>Just like every good tale, this one has some baddies in it. Our girls were devastated, down, but they weren’t counted out. They stumbled from that crap-hole of a tavern and down the main road in town. Lesniya helping a limping Sophia along as they debated where they could find shelter. Someone thought they were easy pickings. Which, they were, but that ain’t the point. <br><br>Now there are three sides to every story – what he said, what she said, and the truth. Some say it was a rogue warlock that crept after the two women. Some call it a troll without a bridge. Or a dwarf with a hammer and a grudge. My personal opinion, I think it was one of those little rat-tail theivin’ boys from the tavern, out to twist the knife a little deeper. Whatever it was, it followed those two boobalicious women down the street and when they were finally out of sight of the tavern, it attacked!<br><br>Lesniya slashed. Sophia threw her boot. They both screamed. The fight was on!! Chaos reigned!! <em>Welcome to the Thunder-</em> <br><br>….I mean… <br><br>There was a fight as the girls refused to give up what they had left to their name. <br><br>And ol’ asshat Cerias – rumor has it that he watched it from the sidelines! You see, he wasn’t as hard-hearted as others thought. Some speculate that he left the tavern from a different door, going in another direction, but found his feet carrying him towards the same road the women were on and caught up in time to see the redhead put the smack down and Evenember’s daughter finish kicking their attacker’s butt. It ran off into the night and the girls dragged themselves together once more. <br><br>They. Were. A. Sight. Bruised. Dirty. Tired. Hair all…. Gross. No man in his right mind would think of trying to bed their mud-covered asses now. But now they knew they were being eyed as victims so the girls high-tailed it out of the town’s center to the edge, where they found an old donkey barn. It was sturdy, but cobweb-filled and hardly used for more than a storage place for gear anymore. So late in the night, promising to sleep in shifts and make their way to the river in the morning to clean, the girls bedded down. </span></div>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Valace</strong> on <strong>07-11-2018, 22:20:47</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(http://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.roosterteeth.com/uploads/images/54063e01-6933-4e38-b195-d0fc28595a06/md/2181220-1448930942333-Warrior_Karsten_Face.jpg)</div>Curiosity had gotten the better of him….again! No matter how many times he told himself he was done he always seemed to find an excuse to get himself involved in shit. Shit that was awfully hard to wipe off. But he’d wavered already as he saw them stumble their way out of the tavern, wondering how two obviously out of their element girls had ended up bruised, battered and bedraggled sulking away in a small inn lamenting their misfortune.<br><br>Telling himself it was only to get that damn apology he was owed, but knowing it was really that annoying voice of guilt deep down, he’d followed them from a distance, watching as they stumbled along like two drunks having found a pouch full off of gold. Although if they had, they’d gotten a room. Instead another dead ass drunk found them, or his hand found a rear and then the most hilarious sight he’d ever seen ensued. It was too dark to get any details but what he saw was…interesting to say the least. A spellcaster type that was so out of it he couldn’t even wave his wand in the right direction, or well, he waved ‘one wand’ that flopped around sad and limp, versus two sorry excuses for adventurers that couldn’t even get their autoattacks to land. One even had a damn sword at hand but for some reason never even drew it.<br><br>The screeches could have awed a banshee, and they did seem to have an uncanny skill throwing footwear, but mostly it was hopeless flailing, stumbling and a whole lot of accidental hits and loud curses. To the side was a small spindly creature cradling his pudgy stomach and howling with laughter so wildly its huge ears clapped against the ground. In the end the dead drunk caster had fallen over, slumped against a wall with the two women standing over him, kicking him in the nuts and ass. It was unclear if the drink or the girls had been too much for him. But by the sudden, and temporary, glow around the girls he guessed it actually might have been them. But they seemed to out of it to even realize what had happened. Or perhaps they didn’t even know.<br><br>In the end his curiosity saw him follow them to some run down shack of an old stable on the outskirts where they vanished. So they really were desperate. Enough to decide to camp in a ramshackle half ruin that could decide to give up the ghost at any second and bury them, and their muddy asses, beneath the rotten timbers. But they were safe, sort of, and he got back to the inn. To his large, warm bed and comfy mattress to hopefully forget all about those two annoying guilt-mongers.<br><br>It worked. Until the innkeeper’s boy handed him a letter in the morning. Opening it had been a mistake. One that he grumbled loudly about as he strapped on his leathers and sword and slung the shield over his back, knowing he wouldn’t need the rest of his gear. On the way he grabbed half a loaf of bread and a sausage from the newly awakened cook before heading out down the street and towards the same run down shack he’d seen last night, stroking his fingers through his hair to tame it a little bit after the night’s sleep.<br><br>In dawn’s growing light the stables looked…every bit as rotten and ready to fall into a pile lumber as last night and he shook his head, rubbing his bristled cheek thoughtfully. Should he really?<br><br>With a sigh he gave in. The world had conspired enough that he recognized the sign of something inevitable, something that reeked of ‘destiny’. Carefully he pulled the doors open, letting the fresh morning light seep into the shadowy depths of the building and was met by a whiff of air pungent with the smells of old hay, oil and wood. A few steps inside and he found them, bedded down under some worn blanket that could well have been left here by the previous owners, looking if possible even worse off than the evening previous.<br><br>Wondering what the hell he was even doing there he leaned down over the dark haired one and poked her shoulder with a gloved finger.<br><br>“Rise and shine precious!”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Beautiful Poison</strong> on <strong>08-11-2018, 05:55:13</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/db/e9/cf/dbe9cf5fe0e93ceb0b2c4707e6679664--character-portraits-character-ideas.jpg)</div> "Fu....fucker!" Sophie exclaimed, panting heavily, lobbing another well aimed kick at the thoroughly unconscious drunk who simply grunted and rolled over as if the freezing cobblestones of the street were a big, fluffy pillow. <br><br>She stood there for a moment, doubled over, hands on knees trying desperately to catch her breath. One foot sweaty, the other cold on the cobblestones. Her body ached and in the distance, she heard the faint chime of a bell. She shivered, feeling a weird warmth permeate her body and for a second there was an odd light in her eyes. It was as if someone had just breathed a flame into life before snuffing it out just as quickly and once again she found herself shuddering in the cold night air. <br><br>As they hobbled, boot in hand, clothing a little more ripped and a fair bit dirtier, she was at least grateful that her body wasn't as tender as it had been moments ago. Had she been more aware or it had been brighter outside she may have noticed that a fair number of her scratches and scrapes had knitted together in a very short span of time. Eventually, they found the stables and they were bad enough that it made curling up in the street seem somewhat appetizing. They had rummaged and located some moth and possibly goat eaten blankets with holes in them that matched their patchwork dignity and curled up on the least moldy section of ancient straw, neither one of them having the strength of body or will to carry on conversation. <br><br><br><br>The food had been amazing. Roasted side of boar seasoned with garlic, rosemary, and pears. Towering mounds of potatoes, okra, yams, and corn littered the table like glistening gems. The wine had flowed as freely as the soft feather fabric of the ladies gowns that night. It was so good to be home, curled up in her enormous feather stuffed bed, layered in sheets of silks and satins. She knew it was only a matter of time before... <br><br>Yep, there it was. Her father standing over her, gently waking her up. <br><br><em>“Rise and shine precious!”</em><br><br>She tried to roll away, and when that didn't work she reached out blindly, groping through the air to find him and push him off.<br><br>"No... No, Daddy, don't." She complained in the signature pouty voice that always got her what she wanted. <br><br>"No, Daddy. Stop touching me..." <br><br>Though slurred, her words were clear and she struggled, turning her body in the straw. Suddenly she realized how very cold it was. She heaved herself up, and reached for her face, sweeping her hair from her eyes. But it wasn't just her midnight blueish hair she was pulling out from her lashes, but bits of straw clung to her face, particularly from where she had been drooling. <br><br>"Huh...?" <br><br>She looked to her side to find Les snoozing happily away, having pulled all of the blankets around herself during the night. Sophia had half a mind to pry them back off of her greedy bedmate when something out of the corner of her eyes caught her attention. <br><br>Several long and awkward seconds of her staring blankly into the man from the night before's indifferent pale blue eyes before her sleep addled brain managed to finally make traction. <br><br>The shriek that rent the air probably startled every drunk within a three-mile radius and the pigeons roosting nearby flapped into the air in alarm. Despite her bruised and sore body, Sophia was on her feet, her hair, straw, and god only knows what else in every direction and her tunic slipping dangerously low over her bare shoulder and lunged clumsily at him, swinging and swiping in every direction.<br><br>"Get away, you fucking pervert!" she yelled, attempting to slap, claw, punch, and mangle the man as best she could, despite her hair obstructing most of her view. Fitting calling him that when you considered her outfit made her look more like one of the local hard luck whores. <br><br>"Don't you fucking touch us. Help! HELP!" <br><br>For whatever reason she couldn't manage to land a single hit, but that didn't stop her from giving it her best and most enthusiastic shot. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>KieraJade</strong> on <strong>12-11-2018, 04:29:58</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://mfiles.alphacoders.com/402/402340.jpg)</div>Sophia’s body warmth shifted away from Lesniya as she complained in her dream. It prompted the red-head to tug the moth-ridden blanket up higher on her shoulder, pulling it so it was almost over her head. The same movement she’d done thousands of times at their home when the two passed out in the same bed together after a night of revelry. Only then, pulling the material up didn’t expose her feet and shins. <br><br>Les shivered slightly, shifted in her sleep to try and find a more comfortable position among the hay and continued snoring. <br><br>The blankets were pulled tighter around her body, and the gentle sound of rattling inhalation and then exhalation of breath was hardly muffled by the blanket now. <br>Unlike Sophia’s ear-piercing screams. <br><br>So wrapped up in the blankets was Lesniya that her immediate reaction of jack-knifing forward to sit up wasn’t going to work as she gasped awake when the dark-haired woman started crying out and cursing. So she rolled. And started screaming right along with her companion. She didn’t even look to see what Sophia was screaming at. She could hear cussing now, feel the air movement as Sophia attacked something, but her hair, the blanket, the hay, all of it kept her vision blurred. <br><br>Three and a half body rolls later as she finally escaped her cloth combines, the floor dropped out from Lesniya. <br><br>Where there had been floor boards, suddenly there was none and Les fell about two feet into what was once a cannery cellar but had now simply become a cool, dark place for rotting dust and thankfully more old hay. She landed with a cry, but after a few heartbeats of stunned silence, she was finally able to sit up and sweep her curls from her face, calling out her companion’s name. “Soph!!” Lesniya tried to scramble to her knees to see what was happening as her friend cried for help. “Sophia!!”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Valace</strong> on <strong>12-11-2018, 20:49:24</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(http://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.roosterteeth.com/uploads/images/54063e01-6933-4e38-b195-d0fc28595a06/md/2181220-1448930942333-Warrior_Karsten_Face.jpg)</div>Thoughts raced through his mind like mobs heading towards an overeager damage dealer, crashing together in a pile of dead bodies as he tried to sort through the words the dark haired female whimpered in her sleep. Daddy? Touch her? No daddy? He was still sorting through the wreckage when her eyes popped open and she stared back at him, face mashed with the washed out straws and stray tresses of hair. The absolute incomprehension on her face at that moment equaled his confusion and when she shrieked like a terrorgheist had yanked her from the ground and started flailing, he was still busy trying to figure out what the hell she was talking about, and how he should feel about it.<br><br>Not that it mattered. With enough levels pure instinct helped someone avoid attacks meant to harm, and so Cerias just reflexively moved an inch here or twisted an inch there, when she didn’t just miss outright on her own. His bout of silent contemplation was only further extended as her tunic slipped even more off her shoulder, threatening to bare a truly impressive mountain chain, if the wobble underneath was any indication.<br><br>Then the red head suddenly came to life, cursing and crying and throwing herself all over the place, looking like a maggot on a hot plate, before suddenly vanishing from the world with a whoosh and thump. Then more shouting, more screams and more flailing.<br><br>Brain-activity finally reinserted itself after his cock realized the girl looked like she’d been gangbanged by a bunch of scarecrows and gave up the chase, and his arm snatched out grabbing the dark haired girl by the thick, tangled hair at the back of her neck and twisting it in his huge leather clad hand until the leather creaked as it pulled tight over his knuckles.<br><br>“Easy there ‘Daddy’s girl’, why the seven planes would I wanna touch you?”<br><br>With one of them disabled by the floor, and the other by his grip on her hair, he shoved away the small voice of common sense and reason shouting in the back of his mind and started talking before it had a chance to reassert itself again.<br><br>“You girls didn’t beg, didn’t steal and you kept fighting when you had nothing. You’ve done enough to earn you one day of my help. Which I’m very sure I will regret tremendously, but nonetheless. My expectations are absolutely zero this will turn into a worthwhile day, but let’s see if you girls can change that shall we?”<br><br>With a light shove he finally let go of the girl he’d kept incapacitated and then froze for a second as a light, fainter than the one last night, flickered around the girls for a second before fading away with a soft rustle. <br><br>Cerias blanched and grimaced, shaking his head, making the thick, unruly, sun-bleached hair flutter. <br><br>“I can’t believe I’ve been here long enough to become a damn quest-mob, and they finished a damn quest off of me. I feel dirty…..”<br><br>Grumbling he looked over at the girls and after a moment’s consideration threw the bread and sausage after the brunette. <br><br>“Eat, dress and for the merciful goddess of death’s sake go wash in the river. I’ll be back in thirty minutes. Be ready then.”<br><br>Still muttering about mistakes, and massaging the root of his nose, already feeling a headache coming on, he exited the small stables, leaving them behind to do as they wished while he sought out something strong to drink.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Beautiful Poison</strong> on <strong>24-11-2018, 02:14:42</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/db/e9/cf/dbe9cf5fe0e93ceb0b2c4707e6679664--character-portraits-character-ideas.jpg)</div> Sophia had every intention of turning around and slapping him across the face as soon as she felt his fist relinquish its grip on her hair. However, the slippery straw under her worn cheap boots might have given her a slight handicap to her dexterity. As the man pushed her away, each foot decided to go in a completely different direction and the muscles of her thighs spasmed under the tight fitting breeches. After a lot of wobbling, undignified grunts and a very near save, the raven-haired girl pitched head first back into the straw she had been sleeping in moments ago, ending ass up in the air and limbs sticking out at odd angles. <br><br>It took a lot of scrambling to finally pull herself up to the seated position and comb her hair out of her face enough to see the man’s back as he walked away, leaving them to sit in a sputtering ball of hot mess.&nbsp; <br><br>“Asshole” she muttered snatching the food, which was more than they would have had that morning admittedly, and splitting it with Les who had finally managed to crawl over next to her. As they ate they picked as much straw from their hair and the crevices of their womanly curves as they could manage in their current state. <br><br>What a pair they made and the two once proud girls sat in dejected silence and slowly chewed on their pride. Which, as it turned out, tasted an awful lot like stale bread and questionable meat. <br><br>The trip down to the river that snaked its way around the outskirts of the village was much the same as they kicked rocks and sulked. She’d never admit it to anyone other than the woman at her side, but Soph was actually feeling a little more optimistic. At least they would have some help and that would buy them some time and some silver to plan their next move.<br><br>The flow of the river was pretty peaceful today as there hadn’t been enough rain to make the current anything more than pleasant. The water was still less than ideal for bathing as the Evenember tugged off her bloodied and mangled tunic and peeled the sweaty and beer-stained pants down her wide hips, leaving them in a neat stack next to her boots and useless sword. <br><br>They started wading out and Sophie hissed. The water was indeed colder than preferred making her determined that this would be as quick as possible. Her nipples were so hard they hurt as they cut little lines in the current before vanishing under the glassy surface. The rocks were smooth below their feet, but more than once she slipped on the fine carpet of slimy moss, pulling a face each time it squelched between her toes. <br><br>“Let's get this over with, yeah?” She remarked, dunking her hair back and using her fingers to help pull any remaining bits of the stable from the blue-black mane of hair. That was when something very decidedly NOT moss brushed up against her leg. <br><br>She yanked her head up to see a bubble, then another before the water around them erupted.<br><br>Out of seemingly nowhere and defying all natural laws or logic, the girls found themselves tit deep in a writhing, thrashing, flailing cauldron of slippery black tails and beady black eyes.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>KieraJade</strong> on <strong>24-11-2018, 03:16:49</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://mfiles.alphacoders.com/402/402340.jpg)</div>Unlike her companion, Les didn’t take it quite so slow dipping into the water. She waded through the river until it was up to her knees and then dove in head-first, taking a harsh, loud breath as she broke the surface with her nude body and found her footing on the slimy rocks below. Better to get it all done with at once and force her body to adjust rather than eek it out and wait. <br><br>Squealing with the goosebumps that were now crawling all over her skin, Lesniya rinsed off her hair and was washing down her curves when the water began bubbling. “What the…” She muttered, getting a better stance in the river next to Sophia, just before it erupted into a power-drop of eels around them. <br><br>The only reaction she had at first was to scream. Harsh, high, and <em>loud</em>. <br><br>The eels were everywhere. Wiggling on her, on themselves, on the rocks at her feet. There was no longer any <em>river</em>, in their particular position. It was <strong>all</strong> eels. Twisting towards Sophia, she cried out again when an eel slipped between her thighs, causing her to spill over and stumble in the writhing water. <br><br>“Are you kidding me?!” The red-haired woman sputtered out. “SOPH! I can’t…” Another curse word left her lips as she finally grabbed onto the other woman’s arm, dragging them both closer to shore, or trying to. “Nightmareish… EEeekkk!!! They’re everywhere!!”<br><br>Sophia could feel their wriggling slimy bodies battering her already bruised frame, as Les grabbed her arm and started dragging. More than once she slipped on a rock or an eel and went under the frothing water only to be slapped unceremoniously about the face. <br><br>"I fucking hate nature! Where did they even come from?" She screamed and sputtered, whining incoherently as a thrashing tail managed to wedge itself between the cheeks of her plump bottom. She must have fallen on it and it writhed most inappropriately in a way that made her flesh crawl.<br><br>In that moment, Les reached out and wrapped her fingers around a particularly large, veiny, and turgid length of eel that had crawled its way between her breasts, yanking it free and tossing it aside. The movement put her on her knees again in the river. The only thing saving them from any more bruises was the girls had made it closer to shore now, and the bottom was silty and sandy, rather than rough rocks. <br><br>Not that the cursed eels cared. The devilish things slithered and writhed around the two pale, curvy bodies of the girls like it was what they were made to do. Struggling, the women pushed and pulled each other through the water, sand, and eels as quickly as possible. Soph would leverage Lesniya up, who would promptly slip on an eel and land unceremoniously face first in the dark-haired woman’s breasts. Or Lesniya would push Sophia over a knot of the wriggly beasties, and then have her end up sandwiched between her legs. Slowly, swearing to everything under the sun that they could, the girls made progress away from the thick of it all. <br><br>Closer to shore, crawling through shallow waters, the eels began twisting more and more around the girl’s ankles and wrists, practically trapping them in their grasp. As if the slimy things wanted control of the struggling women. Lesniya tugged her hands out of the water and flung them towards the river’s shoreline, trying to violently shake the eels off and succeeding with at least one of them. “Get. OFF!!”<br><br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Valace</strong> on <strong>24-11-2018, 21:03:42</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(http://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.roosterteeth.com/uploads/images/54063e01-6933-4e38-b195-d0fc28595a06/md/2181220-1448930942333-Warrior_Karsten_Face.jpg)</div><br>Having walked three laps around the small village, fetched and strapped on what he needed of his gear from his room, and gotten some handle of the throbbing pulse of tension that had formed behind his temples, Cerias figured it was time to head back. It might not have been fully thirty minutes yet, but he would easily have had time to not only eat and wash off, but by now he’d have most of his armor on as well. Surely two girls, with no armor and little to prepare, would be well done by now. In fact he would bet they were just the kind of stuck up brats that would sit there and stare pointedly at him when he came, wondering what took him so bloody long.<br><br>That cheery thought had him steer his steps back towards the roughshod little stables while munching down the last of the smoked sausage he’d gotten at one of the stands. His sword now hung comfortably at his side, joined by the falcon-crested shield on his back, and some plate bracers and chin guards to join the thick leathers he already wore. There was nothing out here that would pose a threat to him anyway so there was little point to bother with full plate mail for what would be a day watching a pair of hopeless newbies flailing at rats.<br><br>Sliding open the doors to where the two of them had slept, he carefully looked at the floor, not wanting to rile them up all over again should they for some reason still not be dressed. At least they were silent, perhaps focused on, empty…it was empty…<br><br>That was when he heard the first screeches from further off towards the river. His head snapped up and his sword was in his hand before he had even thought of drawing it. How had they managed to get into trouble here? Despite his brain fighting, and failing, to understanding how they’d accomplished that feat, he bit back a curse and headed through the stables and towards the racket. It could not possibly be anything truly dangerous in this area, for any regular adventurer, he amended to himself and hurried his steps. Running down the slight incline leading to the river, he tore through a patch of thick shrubs and high grass, sword held ready as the screams, whimpers and shouts, reached towards him. <br><br>“Leave them alone they are….with me…”<br><br>He began his shout but the last words puttered out into nothing as he fought to process the sight before him. The two girls were tumbling, squirming and spastically kicking and slapping all around them, mired in a dark pool of writhing, swirling dark shapes that coiled and slithered, rather than swam, in the heavily crowded waters. Black shapes wound in slippery holds around the pale flesh of the girls, somehow managing to always cover what would have been a showing of nipples or mound. <br><br>What where they? Why? His jaw worked up and down a few times as the sight blew his mind empty of thoughts. For a many seconds his brain even refused to acknowledge the fact of the strange orgy before him, making him question the age of the sausage he’d just had and the state of his mental health.<br><br>Wildly different impulses all crashed together in the back of his mind like a family of ogres all fighting for the last mutton. Wonder at why the two where swimming in a damn spawning pool of black spur eels, and why they weren’t getting out if they didn’t like it, met a surge of desire at all the jostling mounds, wide and lush hips and round buttocks that came into view only to vanish again. The dirty clothes they’d worn had hid some truly mouthwatering curves. <br><br>But mostly he just felt a deeply rooted exasperation. Surely they wouldn’t squirm around in the cesspool of eels unless they wanted to right? Some kind of beauty treatment? Did they believe the eels would clean them off or….He could maybe grab them and drag them out but, they’d just scream bloody murder again…his mouth closed with a clack.<br><br>“Fuck it…”<br><br>The words came as a rumbling growl as he let go of his sword and strode right down into the shallows of the water, nearly rushing down over the rim of his boots. Leaning down he grasped hold of an ankle, wrist or a flowing lock of hair, anything that would give him purchase on each of them, and with a grunt dragged them bodily out of the squirming patch of slimy bodies, letting go of whatever he’d grasped hold of as soon as they were out of it. Then he left them there, walking a few steps back up the shore muttering under his breath.<br><br>There he turned and looked down at them, eels still squirming and writhing all over their dripping wet and naked forms.<br><br>“What in the name of the seven virgins were you doing? I said clean up…..eat….this is going to be a long day isn’t it….”<br><br>His voice held a mix of actual curiosity and impatience, flavored with a sprinkle of lustful rasp, as he sunk down on a nearby rock and just kept staring at them, still caught between mirth, annoyance and a frustrating want to watch as much of their lovely forms as he could. A pointed look of strained patience and silent judgment settled onto his features as he was doing his best to ignore the disturbing hardness growing in the tight confines of his leathers at the sight of the naked women, all but bound and assaulted by the slimy dark eels. <br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Beautiful Poison</strong> on <strong>29-11-2018, 06:30:30</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/db/e9/cf/dbe9cf5fe0e93ceb0b2c4707e6679664--character-portraits-character-ideas.jpg)</div> Had circumstances been much different than they were at the present moment she would have been beating the man about the head for spying on them naked. However, as it was, her dignity was the dead ass last thing on her mind and judging by her shrieks and the way she pawed at her naked body, survival had jumped up a fair few notches on that scale. It was difficult for her to tell what was slithering eel and what was her own long hair plastered wetly to her body as she flailed almost as much as the disturbingly muscular tubes that tripped and derailed her every attempt at escape, so she just assumed everything was trying to kill her at this stage.<br><br>She was a sputtering, swearing, wriggling mess when the man grasped her by the wrist and a fistful of her wet hair, trapping not only her head next to his hand but an eel pinned between her shoulder and her jaw. <br><br>"Let me go you assho.." <br><br>The eel, it would appear, decided it was in just as much danger as the girls and began to flail wildly, desperately trying to return to its demonic bretherin in the river, cutting Sophie off as its body jammed itself directly into her mouth, muffling her completely. As a result, she stumbled through the water, tripping on rocks and moss and eels and the remnants of her pride with an aquatic snake wedged firmly in her maw, gagging and screaming. She couldn't see or hear anything of what was going on, being dragged blindly to the shore where she was then deposited onto a bed of grass and polished smooth river stones just at the water's edge. The pebbled ground all around them was littered with the creatures like they were some ghastly black tentacles sprouting up from the ground. <br><br>She landed on her back, the force of it dislodging the eel. Seeing its chance at freedom the creature thrashed it's tail, gaining traction on her face and slide it's filthy, slimy body down between her breasts and through her legs to freedom, slapping her thighs on its way for good measure. She had just started to claw her seaweed like hair from her face when she heard.<br><br><em>“What in the name of the seven virgins were you doing? I said clean up…..eat….this is going to be a long day isn’t it….”</em><br><br>If you had held your ear up to this particular Evenember the moment those words came out of his mouth you probably would have been able to hear her snap. <br><br>"How DARE you?!" She roared,&nbsp; glaring up at him through a gap in her mane. <br><br>She flipped over on her hands and knees, attempting to get up on her feet, even though she found them still tangled. Her pale body was a patchwork of bright red splotches, her plump round bottom held proudly in the air while the muscles of her thighs churned as angrily as the water behind them. She couldn't stand, that much was obvious, but she could kneel and there, from her knees, she retaliated with the only thing she had at her disposal. <br><br>Eels. <br><br>With lightning fast reflexes honed over two decades of having to steal food from her brothers, Sophie snatched up the phallic creatures and began hucking them at him. <br><br>"Do." <br><br>"You"<br><br>"Have"<br><br>"ANY" <br><br>"Idea"<br><br>"What"<br><br>"We've"<br><br>"Been" <br><br>"Through?!"<br><br>Each word was punctuated with an airborne water bound serpent until the carpet of earth around her was barren of projectiles to fling. <br><br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>KieraJade</strong> on <strong>02-12-2018, 05:06:16</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://mfiles.alphacoders.com/402/402340.jpg)</div>This was how they were going to die, wasn’t it? Blackness surrounded the fiery-haired adopted-Evenember’s form as those thoughts circled in her head and the eels did their damndest to keep the naked woman under their control. <br><br>Choked, smothered, or drowned by eels. That’s what the people would say when they spoke about the situation Lesniya and Sophia had found themselves in now. Deep into their cups, huddled around the fire at the tavern, they’d speak about how there wasn’t even a body for the family to bury. The eels were so powerful, the girls so outnumbered and outmaneuvered, the bloody creatures had simply swallowed them whole. <br><br>Through the morbidity, however, a strong light shone in the form of a firm grip around Lesniya’s wrist. It reached into the writhing blackness, clamped there – and then practically tore her arm out of its socket by hauling her upwards and out of the river of eels. Les screeched in a mix of surprise, pain, and fury as she was unceremoniously dragged to the shore. Automatically lashing out with her foot at whatever was dragging her own, her instinct was to fight back, to survive. Even if that went against the nature of her morbid thoughts just moments before. <br><br>The effort was futile, however, and her appendages only connected with more eels as she stumbled along. She heard Sophia cry out to and whipped her hair out of her face quick enough to see her naked friend being dragged out of the river as well before she was dropped onto the sand. <br><br>Eels continued to swirl around her ankles until she kicked them loose, rocking on her hands and knees in the sand. Lesniya reached down to her breast and with a wretching sound, plucked a particularly tenacious eel off of her breast. Her nipple, to be exact. And it wasn’t until the vicious creature was free of her body that she gasped in relief. <br>Only to be interrupted by Soph’s pointed yelling. <br><br>Dimmed green eyes watched as the raven-haired woman whipped eels at their dickhead of a rescuer. Lesniya’s fingers curled into the shore as she gulped for air, her own anger at the man’s lack of empathy smoldering. Sophia's temper crackled and struck like lightning. Les burned slower, but no less hot. <br><br>Getting in Sophia’s way when she snapped, though, was a lesson Les had learned long ago, not to do. The man would have more than eels to contend with when she ran out of ammo. The best thing was to minimize the blast radius and anticipate the fallout. Besides, the woman wasn’t saying anything Les herself didn’t whole-heartedly agree with. <br><br>Seemingly heedless of her current nude state, the shapely red-haired woman considered standing for a moment. Thought better of it, and instead, crawled to where their clothes were. Slowly, she knelt, and began sorting through the items with quaking fingers, trying to ready them for she and Sophia to put on. <br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Valace</strong> on <strong>05-12-2018, 06:30:28</strong>
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				If it wasn’t for the absolute abundance of jiggling, wobbling and quaking delightfulness going on all over the dark haired girl's curvy frame, Cerias would have sworn on his chance at epic loot that he would have dodged the first slimy, wriggling, projectile with more certainty than that he would regret offering the two brats help in the first place. Instead the plush round rear cocked up in the air behind her, along with the heavily swaying breasts that jostled together with each alluring shift, dried his mouth out as if he’d just stood in the way of a dragon’s breath attack, and he barely caught the dark streak coming towards him, before it wooshed past his ear with no more than an inch to spare.<br>&nbsp;<br>An inch that was in no ways enough to keep the wildly swinging end tail to lash a stinging, slime coating, line right over his cheek, nose and eye. The spell broken his body reacted on its own, bending backwards over the stump so quick that it seemed time slowed down and he looked up to catch one, two and three of the disgusting mucus factories sailing languidly past in the air so close his body could feel the sting of where they would have landed had he not gotten out of the way. His old teacher’s words echoed through his mind.<br>&nbsp;<br>“You say I can dodge arrows?”<br>“No Cerias, I’m trying to tell you that when you’re ready, you won’t have to.”<br>&nbsp;<br>The next few came in a flurry of dark bodies. But now his mind finally caught up and he managed to equip his shield, slamming the steel barrier down between him and the irate female. Rupturing splats rang through the barricade before him and he could already imagine the viscous mess of entrails and snot now coating his formerly pristine shield. Yet he couldn’t help but let his lips pull into the barest hint of a smile behind the protection. Despite the long strand of drool hanging from his eyebrow, like a man clinging to a cliffs edge, it was good to see they hadn’t lost all their fire.<br>&nbsp;<br>When finally the sound of glop torpedoes striking his shield ebbed out, he took a chance to peek over the rim of it, making sure no new ones were coming before he let the gaze fall down at the grimy mix of innards and gunk now covering the proud eagle perched there. Then he looked up, a lopsided scowl on his face as he reached up to flick away the hanging strand of fish gunk that kept tapping against his cheek, not quite gluing fast.<br>&nbsp;<br>“I didn’t know the eel bath was so important to you,” he ground out dryly between clenched teeth, “or I would have let you stay in it.”<br>&nbsp;<br>A deep breath later, and a wary eye towards how else a female’s wroth might end up smacking him in the face, he continued with a fair bit more patronizing bite in his voice.<br>&nbsp;<br>“Now, do you girls want help or not? Obviously you have no clue what you’re doing.”<br>&nbsp;<br>His eyes wandered between the gloriously naked girls, helpless but to steal glances at the abundance of curves, reddened and glistening as they might be, and he had to forcefully shove away the growing appreciation for their spunk, or wish he could bestow them even more.<br>&nbsp;<br>&nbsp;“Get dry, get dressed and then perhaps we can finally get on with this charade. I’ll be over there.”<br>&nbsp;<br>Clacking his mouth shut, then staring at the girls for another few seconds, like he couldn’t decide what cruel god had put the pair of spoiled, noble, brats in his way, he turned his back on them and walked off up the slope. He could only hope to get a few precious seconds rest for what he now knew would be a day that wouldn’t only strain his patience, but torment it until it squealed like the leather in his suddenly all too tight breeches.<br>&nbsp;<br>“Gods, damn it!”<br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Beautiful Poison</strong> on <strong>14-12-2018, 05:47:52</strong>
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				<div class="floatright">(https://mfiles.alphacoders.com/402/402340.jpg)</div><div class="floatleft">(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/db/e9/cf/dbe9cf5fe0e93ceb0b2c4707e6679664--character-portraits-character-ideas.jpg)</div> <br>Sophie had only half been listening as she flattened herself out on her stomach, groping for the nearest eel which had just managed to wriggle its way out of her reach, her plump round ass poised high in the air like an offering of fruit on an altar. It wasn't until she heard his boots kicking the gravel as he walked away that she pushed herself up by her hands and tossed her wet and tangled mess of hair from her pale and annoyed face, glaring once again at the back of his head as he retreated out of sight.&nbsp; <br><br>"Asshole!" <br><br>So-Mad bellowed after him, receiving only his steady gait away as a reply. <br><br>"Dry off? With fucking what? Eels?" She spit, the taste and texture of their slime still pooling in her mouth. She could feel it on her skin and it made her feel lewd in ways she had both nether experienced or ever wanted to again. <br><br>With a great heave, she managed to get her feet under her and pull herself up to her not so dignified height, picking pebbles that had stuck to her skin and noticing how they made her legs and palms look all scaley. As if she needed to be reminded of the eels anymore. Sophie twisted her long blue-black hair, tugging so angrily on it you'd have thought she was trying to ring out the entire ordeal. Sadly, she only managed water. <br><br>A breeze wafted in, taunting their wet skin with a chill that had goosebumps swimming over her naked battered form. <br><br>"Les..." she croaked in a defeated tone. "Les, we gotta get this over with as quickly as possible." She groaned, eyeing with contempt the spot their not quite hired help had vanished. <br><br>The red-head nodded, her hands currently busy with squeezing the water out of her own locks. She’d slipped the long, large white shirt over her head, ignoring the wet spots her body made against the fabric. She was as close as ever to defeated but the task of getting dressed was one she could accomplish. <br><br>“Agreed. Sssoooo agreed.” Her words were soft and clipped as she set Sophie’s pile of clothes closer to her. The words were the first she had spoken since she had been pulled from the river of eels by their dick of a savior. With her undershirt in place, her vest came next and she laced it with quick, mechanical movements. “We need him now, that’s the only reason I’m not quitting.” <br><br>She pulled on her leggings next, working to shimmy the skin-tight material over her still-damp curves. “But gods-be-damned we need a break… And as soon as this job is done, he’s got to go.”<br><br>Sophie had to admit, the idea of getting their money and never seeing that infuriating man again perked her up a bit, unlike realizing she looked more like a drowned afghan hound than a proud noblewoman upon spotting her reflection in a puddle. She stalked, kicking rocks like a dejected child as she sulked over to her clothing. <br><br>"We don't need him after we get the silver, anyway."&nbsp; She remarked, bending over to move her boots and shake out her leather pants, the hide snapping crisply in the air as bits of straw took wing. <br><br>"If he's as decent as he appears with that excessively large sword, we'll get enough cash to figure out a better plan and..."<br><br>She didn't have the heart to say 'no more stables' as the memory of their night was still as fresh and tender as the bruises on her ego as well as bottom.<br><br>Unfolding her freshly cleaned boots and satchel, Les tugged them on before trying to finger-comb through her hair to braid it. “I just….” She sighed for a moment, curling her upper lip in thought to try and find the words for her next sentence. “….*hate* that he always get the upper hand!” <br><br>Pulling up her knees, she stood, tieing the end of her braid tight and securing the last pieces of clothing onto her form. “Once this lesson…job…quest- thing! Is over. We get him back. Dunk him in a river full of eels or something!”<br><br>The raven-haired girl nodded somberly, attempting to tug the britches up her thick, moist thighs. At the end of her struggle, she found herself panting with mounting irritation. Somehow the damage done to the clothing was undone and they had been restored to their clean but still cheap as shit state.<br><br>"Or dump a tankard of cheap beer over his head after tying his boots to the bar..." She suggested, purple gaze going misty as she stared into the forest without actually seeing the trees.<br><br>After much wiggling and rearranging of damp fabric, Sophie was finally pulling her sopping hair from her face, shivering at the way it soaked her vest and shirt, leaving her back frigid in the breeze. Her mood kept her from trying anything as neat and tidy as a braid and she instead opted to just tie it in a knot at the back of her neck.&nbsp; <br><br>"Let's go get this over with." She grumped to her companion while strapping on the useless sword. <br><br>The pair trudged up the hill towards where Sir Asshat had indicated, the atmosphere was so dark and depressing that it clung as thick to the pair as a fog of war. 
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Valace</strong> on <strong>18-12-2018, 07:51:15</strong>
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				<div class="floatright">(http://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.roosterteeth.com/uploads/images/54063e01-6933-4e38-b195-d0fc28595a06/md/2181220-1448930942333-Warrior_Karsten_Face.jpg)</div><br>Only minutes after he’d trudged away far enough he wasn’t able to see the two destroyers of patience and crumblers of sanity, he had to scold his still turgid member into some semblance of rest since it insisted on staying at attention despite the overwhelming odds against any inspection actually taking place. The images of the two female wreckers of peace and quiet as they dripped water, pale skin gleaming in the morning light, stuck to his mind like a hungry dwarf to a newly roasted boar, and leaving about as much space for any other thoughts to get in on a corner.<br><br>More than once he almost turned around, to see if he could catch a glimpse through the foliage, and he was more than a bit proud that he didn’t take advantage of the opportunity like he was sure any other man would have done. He already had two irate females, that of course blamed him for them jumping into a damn pool of eels, because why shouldn’t they honestly he was dumb enough to suggest they wash off after all, and he really didn’t need them even further agitated. He had a feeling what he had to say to them would do that all on its own anyway. <br><br>Finally hearing the two of them approach, or a pair surly bears based on the noise, and the sudden feeling of being eyed for dinner that bloomed between his shoulder blades, Cerias found it safest to turn around. Though he had to fight the urge to ready sword and shield as he did so. The two grim, sullen, women looked at him like they suspected he was about to force them to crawl through the mud and put them on display on the town square. For about the thousandth time that morning he considered if it really was worth this just to make the time go, and watch two obviously clueless of the world females try and kill rats. As amusing as he was sure it would prove, the hassle started to overcome the desire.<br><br>Though he had to admit they looked far better washed off, and the clothes clung to every lush curve in a way that left dangerously little left for imagination. Not that he hadn’t seen them in all their naked glory earlier, but this tempted him with ideas of wanting to see more. He eyed them up and down and then looked from one to the other with a raised eyebrow and crocked frown. <br><br>‘I was going to ask you a few questions, but you two look about as happy as two half drowned cats someone stole the last mouse from before stepping on their tails. So instead I’m going to let you two stew in that while I enjoy the sunshine and relative quiet. Since I assume you two are as prepared as you are going to get on your own we’ll just head right over to the Muckmines and see if maybe you can strangle some rats to death with that self-pity of yours.’<br><br>Was what he thought. But looking at them he decided it might not be the time to voice those opinions. A seasoned tank learned quickly what pulls you could safely make. Instead he just shrugged his shoulders and grunted. <br><br>“Let’s go then.” <br><br><hr><hr><br><span style="font-size: 14pt;" class="bbc_size">As you can imagine the combination of two cranky noble ladies, chewed up by consequence and spat out drenched in reality, and a world weary cynical asshole coated in armor made of pigheaded disdain, didn’t make for the most talkative of travelling companions. Luckily it wasn’t too far to the Muckmines where the great challenge of rat murdering and tail gathering awaited them. It wasn’t even like they had anything to be that cranky over really. The sun was hot enough that clothes would dry off decently quick, and if they were hungry then there would soon be plenty of succulent rat meat for everyone now wouldn’t there? But despite these riches being offered up very little was said during the hour or so the trip over to the mines lasted. Now if you ask me that’s of course a horribly wasted opportunity for some marvelous exposition and backstory, but then it’s not my story is it? If it had been we would have gotten to the good parts already, just like I know you impatient perverts are waiting for. Yeah I know my own kind when I see them. Sure you don’t want any of the stew? The eyes are only a few days old you know. Not? Oh okay, let’s get on with the story then. <br><br>Now, the Murkmines, as I’m sure you as well read younglings know, is an old stone quarry fallen into ruin after it was discovered it had once been an old worship site of Mor’vain, the goddess of unnecessary bloodshed. Some of the workers managed to stumble over a century’s old altar and, in the same way as princes and princesses always manage to get kidnapped by dragons, succeeded in falling into worship of her. Not that it’s all that difficult mind you. It would have been enough if one accidentally nicked his friend while shaving him too close to the holy ground. Mor’vain is not very particular when it comes to why, or how, the blood was spilled. Only that it was unnecessary.<br><br>The blood shedding, all of it exceedingly unnecessary, spread throughout the workforce and they had to call in a happy little group of adventurers to clean it all out. After that it was abandoned and left to the wilds. But of course all that death brought other visitors. Necromancers, scavengers, rats and worst of all, newly minted adventurers! There is nothing quite so gleeful about murdering anything for a few coppers as a dumbass who just got his new sword, or learnt to throw a fireball. Still, something about the magic of the place draws in new rats, new scavengers and other darker threats, and thus new adventurers. Such is the way of things.<br><br>Luckily for Mr Asshat and the Sisters of Sullen Snit, yes I know that is a convent for Cur’anky the goblin god of Surly Fuming; I was a member once, lovely luncheons, though nothing like the Eastrise stew. No, still not hungry? Very well, where was I? Oh right, our little party had managed not to get lost on the way there and was finally within smell of the mines themselves.</span><br><br><hr><hr><br><div class="floatright">(http://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.roosterteeth.com/uploads/images/54063e01-6933-4e38-b195-d0fc28595a06/md/2181220-1448930942333-Warrior_Karsten_Face.jpg)</div><br>After a walk that had been at most an hour, but felt like a week walking through the halls of the dead city of Moroso what with the two dark clouds of petulant gloom that hovered in his wake, the trail finally ended at the masterfully placed sign of ‘Murkmines’. Cerias had purposefully kept just a few steps ahead of them to make it more difficult for them to ask any dumb questions, and hoping the walk and sun might air them out a bit. Even though he didn’t wear his full plate, the tightly sitting leathers was more than enough protection in this area, it was still hot enough in the sun that he had to unbutton the jacket and vest. The leather encased his thighs and rear as only a pair of personally tailored pants could do, following his every step like a jealous lover. But no matter how well-crafted they were still a bit too warm in the bright sun and he looked forwards to some shade to wait in. Despite that he had to admit it was good to be out moving around again after days stuck in the village.<br><br>The sparse forest, liberally sprinkled with meadows and brooks, gave way to a wide stretch of stony hills and rocky plains that further on led to ‘the Ash Wastes’ and then onwards to the range of ‘Poortail Mountains’ looming like a promise of double taxation on the east horizon. The small trail they had followed snaked in between the gentle slopes of the hills and also took off to the right where it went down a languid incline that led into the mines themselves. A vague odor of peat, mire mud, and old carcass hung like an afterthought in the air.<br><br>Taking a look down the slope Cerias could already see a few large, furred, shapes squabbling and snarling over a long dead deer lying face down in the sunburned grass. Turning around he looked the girls over, thought about offering some words of advice, decided against it since he wanted to know what they actually did when fighting, and simply jerked his head towards the small group of rats instead, a half smirk on his lips and just the trace of a gloating gleam in his grey eyes.<br><br>“We have a little group of rats over there. Show me what you got ladies.”
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				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Beautiful Poison</strong> on <strong>22-01-2019, 01:09:54</strong>
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				<div class="floatright">(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/db/e9/cf/dbe9cf5fe0e93ceb0b2c4707e6679664--character-portraits-character-ideas.jpg)</div> Had the landscape looked this bleak when they were here yesterday? She couldn’t remember. Perhaps the difference was they hadn’t been lead there by a jailor who was determined to return them to the scene of a crime only to gloat and rub their noses in it. No. Yesterday they had optimism and a good night's rest and full bellies. Right now, even the squelching of the mud under their boots sounded like the very earth itself was blowing the pair of girls a giant raspberry with every step they took. How dare they show their sorry faces around here again? At this stage, Sophia was in agreement completely.<br><br>Her hair was a dripping tangled mess, tied in a very sloppy knot at the back of her head, it did little to keep strands of it from remaining plastered to her pale face. Despite the sun being out in full force, baking a thin layer of dry skin over the wet ground as they descended down into the valley where the mines were located, her tresses had soaked the back of her tunic and the parts that lay hidden below her vest made her skin clammy and cold. Other areas weren’t as dry, either, she noted as she attempted to pull the skin tight crotch of her breeches from her groin, which was starting to chafe from all their walking. <br><br>Now, the girls were in their prime and not in bad shape, but the hiking up into the hills then down the steep and treacherous path to the mines left her out of breath. She missed her horse and the carriages more than ever as her feet ached from too many days of use with little to no pampering from servants in between. The state of her toenails, for fucks sake!<br><br><em>“We have a little group of rats over there. Show me what you got ladies.”</em><br><br>She had been so busy glowering at the rocky ground, trying not to slip on the gummy mud and sharp rocks that she hadn’t even noticed they’d arrived until she almost plowed into his much taller and suddenly stationary back.<br><br>The pine trees that grew between the jagged gray boulders that littered the ground looked sickly, like they had lost fights with the larger evergreens and were now forced to live in a colony made up of only the losers. Their branches were thin and barely any needles decorated their fingers. Most of the bark had been scraped from their trunks by the rats that scuttled around. The earth was a patchwork of pawprints and lines where their thick bald tails had cut through the claylike ground. With a gulp, Sophie noted the various sizes, some as large as her own boot. <br><br>A breeze stirred the meager foliage and brought with it all the bounteous fragrances the valley had to offer. The sun had, no doubt, matured the items left out to rot on the ground, which the overcast sky had spared them yesterday. Dead animal and piles of rat droppings the sizes of small rolls of bread lay half baked and half damp around them. Through all that rot, the mucky, musky smell of perpetually wet dirt and rock seeped from the dark, mud splattered cave entrance that cut it’s way through the salt and pepper gray mountain before them. There was something decidedly perverse about it, the way the muck that coated the walls and doorway to the mines remained glossy and wet while everything else around it had dulled to a dry matte brown. <br><br>“Oh god!” She exclaimed, clasping her hand over her mouth as she eyed the scene before them from around the shoulder of their warden. <br><br>The rats chewed leisurely on the corpse, like large fat cats, ignoring the lack of threat that slipped down the hill into their home. Again, the shock to Soph at how much smaller they seemed than yesterday took her by surprise. They had felt like they were three times that size before. The vise grip of gloom and anxiety eased on her poor stomach. <br><br>Suddenly, this seemed doable. Maybe they wouldn’t starve after all!<br><br>The feeling of desperation lifting, it was replaced with hope and Sophie pulled her shoddy sword from her belt, feeling renewed and only barely noticing that her thighs were on fire. Tossing Les an encouraging look with a nod, the Evenember turned to the rats, ready for a fight. <br><br>She did her best to imitate her brothers as she spied on them while they sparred in the family courtyard, wooden swords and shields held high. She charged the rodents of unusual size, or ROUS if you will, with her blade grasped in both hands above her head, roaring with all the fury of a week's worth of nights in the stable, if they didn't succeed. <br><br>The rats, bless them, were not used to such tactics and they squatted in the mud, completely nonplussed as the pair of women descended upon them like starving flies on shit. <br><br>The blunted blade came down on the first, mashing it’s head into the dirt. The force of the blow must have popped it clean off as it didn’t come back up for air as she turned to pick her next target. Yesterday the idea of killing animals had seemed grotesque and uncomfortable but it is amazing what a person can overcome after no sleep and an empty belly. <br><br>Her foot had come down on another, pinning it’s valuable tail under her boot so she quickly removed it from its owner, who ran away squeaking furiously. <br><br>“Les!” She called, looking over her shoulder and finding her adopted sibling handling things well enough on her own. <br><br>“This is easier than I thought. Isn’t it?” <br><br>She bent down, plucking the twitching worms from the ground and tucking them into her pocket. Turning around she noticed that many of the smaller rats had begun to flee back into the cave while a few of the larger ones were preparing to defend their bounty of rotten deer from the wouldd be invaders. <br><br>“They’re kinda smaller than the ones the kids handed over last night, so he might try to short us, but…” She wiped her hair from her face, smearing a line of mud and gods only knew what else across her forehead. <br><br>“... we can just kill all of them and then we’ll be set.” <br><br>Her prideful voice rang out over the sloppy mud and raging rodent squaking, even the crackling of magic from her partner, the man all but forgotten. Why had they bothered with him anyway? She couldn’t remember but the feeling of not needing him in the end only fueled her forward. <br><br>But, what the cocky quick-tempered woman failed to notice was as her boastful words reverberated down into the mountainside, a dozen sets of glowing eyes twinkled like beacons cutting through the darkest of nights. She had caught their attention.&nbsp; <br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>KieraJade</strong> on <strong>04-02-2019, 17:51:10</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://mfiles.alphacoders.com/402/402340.jpg)</div><em>“We have a little group of rats over there. Show me what you got ladies.”</em><br><br>Gods, but he was arrogant. <br><br>While they’d been traveling Lesniya hadn’t been worried about the scenery on the road. Or her adopted sister’s mood. She’d been far too focused on studying the man who she had decided should get the brunt of her frustration and anger once this was all over and done with. Cerias didn’t miss anything as he moved, she was sure of it. A warrior like him had probably honed those instincts over the years. <br><br>If she was being honest with herself – which was absolutely not happening in that instant – it was pretty impressive. The arrogance came with enough to back it up. He was attracted to them, his trousers had shown that next to the river, but unlike every other non-familial male in their life, he hadn’t acted on it at all. Instead, he did what he said he would do and took them to the rats. <br><br>Still. She wanted to pick up every rock she found on the ground and chuck it at the back of his full-head of hair. <br><br>Arrogant paired with handsome too. <br><br>The plotting and planning in her mind helped take up the space of the hike. It swept away the feeling of her sore feet, her wet, yet clean clothes, and the heat of the sun beating down. She imagined all the different ways she could torture the man meticulously, throwing every brutish comment he’d made in the tavern to them back in his face. <br><br>Lesniya was almost smiling by the time the rat’s den. She’d show him. Then she’d even take his sword. <br><br>At the moment, though, as she looked over at Sophie, she drew her own short sword. All the while, she was trying not to cough, or worse yet, vomit, as the breeze brought a fresh hell of smell wafting their way. It was worse than the eels in the river. At least then, there was fresh water to cover most of the scent. Lesniya cleared her throat for a moment, putting her elbow to her nose just enough to breath through the fabric there as her eyes watered. <br><br>The visible rats were much smaller than those they had dealt with yesterday. It kept Les rooted firmly in place as she conquered her gag reflex. She returned Sophie’s nod as she still breathed through her elbow, and determinedly followed the Evenember into the muck. <br><br>At first, Les followed Sophie’s lead. She hacked and slashed with all her might and worked that pipsqueak of a short sword as best she could. Determined grit, a bit of actual knowledge, and the anger behind their situation was what got her three rattails in before she could feel her hand glowing with familiar energy. As a child, she’d been taught what to do with that skill. Rudementary lessons made to simply help her learn control. Once that was established, however, she’d either feared the power too much to use it, or didn’t have the confidence and drive to hone her skills further. <br><br>This time though, she reached out and <em>pressed</em> that energy forward towards a small-ish rat, freezing him instantly. It worked so surprisingly well, she did it immediately again to the rat’s companion. Chopping off their tails was a no-brainer then and Lesniya whooped with joy, jumping up and down as she wiggled in a victory dance. <br><br>“Absolutely easier!” She called out to Sophie, dropping her sword for the moment (a rookie mistake!) and picking up the tails. But soon, the dirt-covered weapon was back in her hand and she was looking around for another target. Her hand glowed blue, and she wiggled her fingers through the energy, grinning with delight. <br><br>That grin fell when three of the larger sized rodents decided to emerge from the den their smaller companions had escaped to. These ROUS’s were easily as big as Lesniya was. Lumbering, slow beasts, with wicked tails, and sharp, gharly teeth. <br><br>Quick on her feet, and now with her powers, Lesniya shot another freeze bolt at the rat on the far side, closest to her. It hit the beast in his forelegs, dropping his front half. But it didn’t immobilize him like it had the smaller rats. <br><br>“Uh oh…” Was all she could manage to murmur out as the other two snarled and trudged forward towards the girls. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Valace</strong> on <strong>05-02-2019, 15:42:39</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(http://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.roosterteeth.com/uploads/images/54063e01-6933-4e38-b195-d0fc28595a06/md/2181220-1448930942333-Warrior_Karsten_Face.jpg)</div>Subduing a small grin of amusement at the ladies weak stomachs when they tried to cover their dainty sensibilities from the stench, Cerias took a small step to the side, intending to watch the show without comment. That intention was almost immediately broken as both the ladies drew blades, and he raised a finger to ask why. That’s when the pair of spoiled girls heedlessly charged two packs of rats feasting on the bloated carcass he’d pointed out to them earlier. That he had expected, and the lack of surprise on his stark face was deafening. At least the dark haired one had a pretty good voice, he’d give her that much. <br><br>From there he could have told them just about how the fight would go. They’d start hewing around them with the clubs, he refused to call them swords or blades, easily swatting a rat here and there into a bloody mulch with a lucky hit or two while scattering the brunt of the furry little monsters in all directions. Yeah, they certainly did that, with growing smiles on their pretty, clueless little faces. <br><br>Now overconfidence would overtake them and they’d stop truly paying attention to their surroundings, drawn in by gleefully trampling rat after rat into the muck, greed and loot-fever setting fire to their spirit and burning down their awareness in equal measure. <br><br>Okay, he hadn’t expected the bolt of ice, or rather he’d expected something like that much sooner, and had to force himself not to have his bristled jaw fall down in stupefied wonder when it suddenly came out of nowhere. Not that he hadn’t seen magic before, but from actually having a wizard flail around her with a slightly sharpened stick instead of just letting loose with all her power immediately. Had she actually waited until the wildly mud stomping friend of hers to get their attention before starting? No, that wasn’t it at all he realized, feeling that tiny little seed of hope that they might yet surprise him wither and die like a spark of flame coming in the way of the bolt of ice the redhead happily sent in a ball of coiling blue energy steaming in the air towards one of the emerging dire rats that had been summoned out of their dens by their escaped cousins. <br><br>Exasperation and incredulity fought for prominence inside the otherwise expressionless warrior as his sky blue gaze watched everything came thundering back on track to be in line with his expectations of their performance. He’d known it would be bad; he’d known he would feel the urge hammering through him to just send a shockwave through the ground, ending the damn rats and his obligation to be there in one fell swoop; that whatever low bar he set for the pair of wildly out of place women, they’d happily dig with manicured fingers and bright teeth into the blood and gore crusted muck to get below it, and that he inevitably would get the blame for it no matter how it ended. <br><br>Regardless he sighed and crossed his powerful arms before his chest, still standing back, as dozens of huge, beady eyes glowed menacingly from the darkness only to coalesce into a dozen or so dog-sized D-RUOS, or dire-rodents of unusual size. Their patchily furred bodies, covered in ulcers and sores weeping pus, adding to the already impressive stench, prowled out towards the two women. Only one of who’d actually noticed anything at all, while the other acted like a two year old walking down a shadow district alley at night, blissfully oblivious to it all. <br><br>Now he knew panic would set in, already he saw the cruel reality dawn on the curvy wizard girl. Then screams and shouts, shattering whatever he had left of his eardrums no doubt, before they’d either come running back to him crying for help, or get swarmed and dragged to the ground. Either way he predicted a surge in unhappy-female activity in his close proximity shortly. <br>“And in one…two….and….”<br><br>He muttered as the dark haired girl finally clued on to what was about to happen….<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Beautiful Poison</strong> on <strong>06-02-2019, 06:39:30</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/db/e9/cf/dbe9cf5fe0e93ceb0b2c4707e6679664--character-portraits-character-ideas.jpg)</div> 'We're doing it... I can't believe we're doing it!' was repeated over and over in Sophia's mind as she lopped off the tiny bald tails left and right. the mantra ran around and around like a white noise of victory and the almost feverish glare of hope kept her blind and deaf to the goings-on around her. She remained completely oblivious to the sudden appearance of magic as her ears were filled with the squeaks and squawks of her fallen prey. <br><br>"That's right, you little shits. You're our bitches." She grinned, hammering another into the dirt as it tried to flee. <br><br>"Hey Les, how are you making ooowwwwwhooooaaah!!!" Turning, she had intended to face her friend but her smooth soled boot found a patch of Lesniya's ice, wriggling rat trying frantically to free what was left of itself from its frozen prison. <br><br>Many words had been used to describe Sophie and her thick frame, but not a single one had included delicate, dainty, graceful or elegant. Her foot went one way while her hips protested, yanking her in another, the end result was the proud girl's features looking utterly betrayed, face first into the heavily trodded and sopping ground. Abandoning her sword she braced for the fall as best she could, landing on hands and elbows while getting sprayed in the face with mud. Wait... that was mud, right? Please let it be mud. <br><br>She was just in the process of wiping it from her eyes, which it had just missed when she heard.&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <br><br><em>“Uh oh…”</em>&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <br><br>"No. No. I'm okay, see?" Soph had pushed herself up onto her knees, trying to bush off the clay like earth that had caked onto the front of her, wetness soaking into the fabric. She waved at her partner to show that she was just fine, bloody, muddy tails still clamped in her fist.<br><br>"What are you gawking at Leee...." That question promptly answered itself when she heard it. Growls punctuated with the wet splattering of spittle as it leaked from the sagging jowls of the massive rats. Rats that were now surging on the pron Evenember, still half sprawled out on the ground. <br><br>Before she could even pull the gag of shock from her mouth to scream, the creature lunged, latching its massive incisors around her ankle. The smell was almost enough to knock her out cold as it's putrid breath nearly eroded the skin off of her face. It began dragging her backward, squeezing her leg and causing her to yelp in fright and pain. She tried to grab for the sword but already it had pulled her out of its reach so she tried the only thing she knew how. <br><br>"Get OFF OF ME!" She yelled, her voice panicked and threadbare, all the boastfulness having evaporated into thin air. She kicked at it's hideous, boil riddled face, aiming for its nose and eyes but only successfully managing to piss it off even worse. The rat snarled at the discomfort and gave her leg a rather firm shake. The resulting loud 'POP' that was both heard and felt in every orifice of her body make her scream. Her foot dangled uselessly in its maw, her ankle having been successfully dislocated. <br><br>"NO!" She squealed, eyes tearing up in anguish and fear. She reached for its face, clawing towards its eyes when she felt it.<br><br>From the back of her neck, she felt her hairs stand on end, the tiniest pinprick of energy. It felt like it was leaping from hair tip to hair tip down her arm, building in intensity as it traversed the distance to her fingers. She saw it before she heard it. Golden sparks sizzled along the backs of her hands and in an instant, she felt as if her entire mitts were on fire. The sizzling crackle and erupting dazzling golden light crashed into the face of the creature at the exact same time she screamed. <br><br>"SMITE!" <br><br>The words leapt from her lips as involuntarily as the spell of holy magic and the furry, toothy mess of a maw released her at once, flailing and squeaking as it's rotund body wriggled, causing the ground to ripple and quake with its weight. The bolt of magic ricocheted off of its forehead and zoomed with almost deadly accurate into the moist and puckered opening of the cave, it's brilliant light illuminating everything in its wake. Dozens of mammoth rats ducked and scattered and from somewhere deep within the cave, it made contact with a thunderous crash. <br><br>Sophie sat on the ground completely nonplussed, her ankle momentarily forgotten as she stared dumbstruck at her hands, the mud on them now baked to a brittle crisp. She flexed her digits and the earth crumbled into a fine powder. She had studied that spell before, but she had never expected she'd need it. Hell, she didn't even remember its name before just now. <br><br>As she sat in awe of her own sudden abilities the blinded rat had quickly begun to recover and it was much much less impressed with the reluctant priest's sudden puberty like on set of magical ability. It got to its feet and headed towards her, forcing the woman to scramble, dragging her ass and useless leg behind her. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>KieraJade</strong> on <strong>18-02-2019, 20:39:40</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://mfiles.alphacoders.com/402/402340.jpg)</div><br>“<em>NO!!!</em>” <br><br>The cry spilled from Lesniya’s lips as she physically reached for Sophia imploringly when the beast descended upon her play-sister. It was like watching something horrid in slow motion and not having any powers to change the facts. Her body stepped forward as well and that was all it took – Lesniya hadn’t looked where she was going and slipped immediately on the mixture of mud and ice. Her backside and shoulder took the brunt of the fall, and it knocked the all-but-useless sword from her grip. <br><br>On the ground, the red-haired beauty gasped hard to draw her breath back into her lungs. It was all the reprieve she got. Another rat was charging in on her. Survival instincts kicked in though as she swung her booted foot around and connected with the beast’s head about as well as she had connected with their would-be teacher’s shoulder in the tavern. <br><br>Rolling to her hands and knees, Lesniya tried to scramble through the mud and filth, her hand gripping the pommel of her short sword again as she gained her knees. Once again, she whipped her body around, pressing her hand out and just as Soph was smiting her own enemy, Lesniya froze her own. Her anger fueled the power – making it deeper. Quicker. The beast was encased in ice in mid leap within seconds. <br><br>The next turn was towards Cerias. On that hill. Still clean. Looking cross. <br><br>“Are you just going to stand there??” She screamed up at the warrior. “<em>Help her!!</em>”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Valace</strong> on <strong>22-02-2019, 23:13:43</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(http://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.roosterteeth.com/uploads/images/54063e01-6933-4e38-b195-d0fc28595a06/md/2181220-1448930942333-Warrior_Karsten_Face.jpg)</div><br>”Four...five....”<br><br>It was with growing disbelief that Cerias kept counting past the point where even a Halfling sleeping off a three day solstice feast would have woken up to the danger creeping closer. It wasn’t until he got to seven that he saw the dark haired girl’s eyes finally widen in recognition of the brown bag of rodent feces they suddenly found themselves drowning in. Somehow the D-ROUS managed to catch her leg and start dragging her backwards. Something he was sure she’d dissuade it off. She had a sword for a reason right? Only she’d managed to leave that behind and he took a step forwards before he caught himself. The instincts to protect the hopelessly helpless squishies in his party was deeply ingrained by now and he’d nearly charged in. <br><br>“Come on…kick it, attack it…do something…”<br><br>He muttered imploringly, getting more invested in it than he’d had any intention of getting, making small shifts with his shoulder as if he could almost feel himself throwing the punches. When she finally did kick it was such an ill placed hit that he wondered if she made it more tense on purpose. The ‘snap -pop’ that followed pierced the air more profoundly than should have been possible and he felt his ribs and wrist ache sympathetically. That shit hurt like a ranger stealing the sword you’d been after for months because ‘it will be a hit with the ladies, man’ and once more he had to hold himself back from interfering. <br><br>“Time to prove me wrong girl….”<br><br>At that point he didn’t have much hope anything would change, they just weren’t cut out to being here. If he had to save them and drag them back to town, his mission, and last chance to find something worthwhile to do while he waited for transport to the city, would be failures both. He’d already lifted his foot to send the shockwave that would end it all down the road, when he felt that familiar sharp tang of holy magic crawl along his spine and he paused, eyes widening. The spark was sharp, tightly focused and well-aimed. That should be a severely wounded rat in his estimation and his foot slowly lowered while he watched with an intense interest he hadn’t held earlier. <br><br>“The sorceress is one thing, but why the hell is the priestess swinging a sword….”<br><br>But he didn’t have a chance to ponder that either before the other girl, apparently feeling left out in the mud and shit bath guild, planted her own ass in the odorous muck with a splat that sent at least some rats scrambling back. He couldn’t blame them, that mess smelled worse than the furry little critters did. At least her aim with the boot was a bit better than her friends and she made some room for herself. <br><br>“Leave the damn pig-sticker alone…you don’t bloody need it….”<br><br>Not able to watch without commenting at least to himself, Cerias found himself having uncrossed his arms, resting his hand on the pommel of his own blade, itching to go down there and end the suffering. All their suffering. Another icy blast and they finally got one of the large rodents down, leaving only about a dozen or so closing in on them. <br><br>“Help her!!”<br><br>For a second he actually considered it. His head tilted to the side as he watched the priestess, or cleric, he didn’t know what she preferred, scramble backwards on her ass, desperate to get out of the range of the putrid beasts. But she was a damn priestess, with a bloody mage for backup, they should be able to do a damn sight better than this. If he did save them then they might be more open to listening to when he told them what they needed to change. They seemed exactly the kind of spoiled brats that would otherwise just ignore it all and keep doing what clearly wasn’t working just out of sheer mule-headedness, or because he was low born and/or older than they. On the other hand they might just resent him more for it, he didn’t see much room for gratefulness with all that self-entitlement filling their buckets. Maybe a hole in the bottom would let enough pour out to make space. <br><br>As he mulled over his options he watched the desperate fight below grow into something untenable and downright dangerous. The glares he got was a bit annoying, but they didn’t give up easily at least, he had to admit that much, and a trip to the temple would be both long and costly. Still, he couldn’t do it for them. That would lead nowhere. <br><br>So he took a step to the side of the path, look at them pointedly, and gestured behind him with his thumb. <br><br>“First lesson girls. When you get into a situation you can’t handle….run!”<br><br>His foot hovered barely an inch over the ground, prepared to send a thunderclap down the path behind them should they need just a tiny little break from the chasing monstrosities. <br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Beautiful Poison</strong> on <strong>07-03-2019, 05:35:59</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/db/e9/cf/dbe9cf5fe0e93ceb0b2c4707e6679664--character-portraits-character-ideas.jpg)</div> As the tendrils of white fire burned out on the rodents massive face, Sophie was able to see just how much damage she had done. It was more than she had expected she was capable of. Its beady black eyes were scalded and one looked ruined. Though it flailed half blinded in her direction, squeaking in a mingled racket of rage and pain, there was no doubt it was still intending to fight as it lumbered towards her. <br><br>She heard Les bellow at their observer demanding he finally take part in the fight and for a brief moment, she felt relief swell inside her lungs. Help was on the way and she wouldn’t die here after all. They’d return to the tavern and have a bath before the hour was up and she’d figure out her ankle and then…<br><br><em>“First lesson girls. When you get into a situation you can’t handle….run!”</em><br><br>And the gigantic prick managed to pop the balloon of hope, which deflated within her chest. That smug asshole! He had promised to help them and yet he was standing up there as useless as tits on a ferret. <br><br>The acid of her temper bubbled up from her gut filling her throat. <br><br>“Fuck you!” she snarled through gritted teeth, laboring to haul herself backward and give her as much distance between the thrashing rat and herself as possible.<br><br>“We don’t fucking run away!” <br><br>It was difficult to know if a truer statement had ever been made about the pair for they seemed to approach every bad situation they were faced with not only head on but running full tilt in its general direction. <br><br>“Les, I think we can take it together.” <br><br>Sophia called, tilting her head in the direction she thought her teammate was in. It was difficult to tell with her face splattered with mud and… other stuff. <br><br>With the fire burning in her belly and filling her throat she called out, raising her hands up before her. <br><br>“On the count of three. One. Two. Three!” <br><br>It didn’t quite go according to plan but it was close enough. Les’s aim was true and solid, delivering a loud sizzling creak of ice that caught the rat at the junction where throat meets shoulder but the priestess was suddenly having some performance issues. <br><br>“Shit! Shit!!! Come ON!” She bellowed waving her hands before her, but nothing happened. <br><br>The rat screamed in agony and with a sickening crack, his shoulder gave way, breaking from his leg and leaving the massive creature tripedal and it’s now severed limb stuck in the muck, it’s frozen blood glimmering like rubies in the sunlight. It fell shoulders first into the mud, snapping wildly at Soph just inches away from her dead ankle. <br><br>Fear and embarrassment put the girl into a panic as she desperately tried to remember her spell when the tingling built up on the fine hairs of her arms. She saw the little motes of light travel between her quivering fingers just as the creature bellowed and the ball of light plunged down the thing's throat. <br><br>For a second the two just stared at one another, equally startled. The rat squeaked frantically, abandoning its anger for pure terror and then there was a loud POP. Its back end exploded in a shower of splintered bone and entrails. It was the most grizzly and gruesome party favor she had ever seen. The creatures now lifeless but no less repulsive upper half had managed to surge forward, jaws wide and teeth bared. <br><br>The scream that followed could have pierced the rain from the clouds above. It took the raven-haired girl a moment to realize that she had not, in fact, been swallowed whole. With a grunt and a whimper, she pushed the decapitated and unreasonably large rat head off of her legs, visibly shaking. Which made the following laughter from her throat a bit unsettling. <br><br>“Les! You were brilliant!” She beamed with a snort at the redhead who was almost as covered in mud as she was. <br><br>Sophie had always admired and been deeply envious of how clever her friend always was but in this moment, she was nothing but grateful. <br><br>She felt like they could take on the world now, forgetting all about that fuck on the hill. They could do it! Really do it and kill the larger rats together, but first, her ankle needed mending.<br><br>It wasn’t easy, trying to recall what her tutors had tried to teach her about the magic and for once she found herself frustrated that she hadn’t paid as close of attention as perhaps she should have. She reached down, folding her battered and bruised form in half and slipped her muddy fingers below her boot. <br><br>Instantly, her eyes went cross and teared with pain. The ankle was fully outside of the joint and swelling fast within its leather confines. It took her a few tries, mumbling words and getting shit backward but finally, she managed to mutter something that resembled her teachings. She felt bone deep heat radiate from her ruined foot and another loud pop followed by a jump and squeal of pain. <br><br>Well, it wasn’t perfect but at least the ankle was back where it belonged. Gingerly she rolled it a few times and then clumsily got to her feet. Very sore and still swollen but good enough to limp on.&nbsp; She hobbled over to her friend, only vaguely noticing the smaller rats had all fled the scene. It was the sound of lots of scuttling that distracted her just as she came to her partner's side.<br><br>The first spell she had managed to launch down the anus of the cave seemed to have spooked the occupants as more than a handful of the larger creatures shuffling out, blinking up with frightened squeaks into the wrath of the afternoon sunlight. <br><br>“Think we can take’m together, Les?” She asked, giving her adopted sister a sidelong glance. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>KieraJade</strong> on <strong>18-03-2019, 16:48:38</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				“…Run!” <br><br>That smug asshole. <br><br>“Run!? Where to? <em>HOW?!</em>” Les screamed, gesturing towards her adopted sister who was clearly struggling to even stand, let alone make any sort of motion one would mistake for <em>running</em>. <br><br>Swinging back around to the beasties, eyes blazing with true fury now at the situation they were finding themselves in, Les nodded in agreement with Sophia. Her dirty curls bounced as she stood and let the priestess know she was with her. <br><br>Lesniya then let everything flow from the back of her neck, down her shoulders, over her elbows and through her hands. On Sophia’s count – or maybe like a heartbeat after - the icy power catapulted out of her fingers towards both the remaining rat, and the ground itself within a 10-foot radius of her. The blast knocked the attacking rat on its side, and then either froze the remaining rat feet to the muddy ground, making it impossible for them to move, or knocked them on their dirty furry asses all together. <br><br>Without looking back to see her handiwork, she staggered away, chest heaving with the exertion and turned herself in Sophia’s direction, calling out the dark-haired girl’s name.&nbsp; <br><br>That’s when Sophia’s performance issues recovered themselves and she popped an energy ball down the animal’s throat like it was a sweet treat for the beast. It startled Les enough she skidded to a stop, mouth open and jaw dropped when the animal’s ass end exploded – sending a shower of gods-only-knew-what away from the girls.<br><br>“Soph!!” She cried out again, lunging for her friend and helping to shove the dead rat off her body. It was going to take weeks to get the stench off both of them now. <br><br>“Your ankle…” But Sophia was already working on it. While she dealt with her healing spell, Lesniya wasn’t going to let them get caught unawares again. She turned around and stepped away for a moment, eyes surveying the scene. Rats were heaving their last breaths, or scuttering away, the smaller ones especially. Threats had been neutralized for the moment, but Les didn’t trust that the fucking cave of beastly wonders in front of them didn't have another battle card left. There were tails to be severed, and she didn’t want to count those eggs til they’d hatched. So there weren’t any enemies to smite at the moment…<br><br>…but as Sophia limped up behind her, Lesniya raised her weapon. <br><br>Four larger rats, almost as big as a human, ambled out of the cave. Snarling. Growling. <em>Pissed</em>. <br><div class="floatright">(https://i2.wp.com/www.weeklyhumorist.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/featured-image-template-rat.png?fit=432%2C330&amp;ssl=1)</div><br>Sophia asked if they could take them. Lesniya was about to give her an assent for an answer and encourage her friend to use those latent powers like she was trying to do – when two huge, yellow eyes peered out of the cave. Blinking. Like some sort of beam of deadly light. <br><br>Behind the four clearly lieutenant rats, with steps hard enough to slightly shake the ground beneath Lesniya’s and Sophia’s feet, came the Mother Rat. A big, scarred, one-eyed ugly bitch who was clawing at the ground and clearly upset she’d been woken from her slumber.<br>&nbsp;<br>Lesniya’s jaw dropped open farther than it ever had before. <br><br>“Hoe-leee….” <br><br>It was all she got out. With a quick snarl, the four Lieutenant rats began to scramble quickly towards her and Sophia. <br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Valace</strong> on <strong>24-03-2019, 20:01:01</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(http://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.roosterteeth.com/uploads/images/54063e01-6933-4e38-b195-d0fc28595a06/md/2181220-1448930942333-Warrior_Karsten_Face.jpg)</div><br>Of course they didn’t run. That would have been showing at least the semblance of desire for survival and a smidgen of common sense. Cerias slowly lowered the foot to the ground and felt his face slacken in a feebly struggling mixture of disbelief and consternation as the pair of pig-headed newbies held their ground. Their thickheaded stubbornness was worse than a damn gnoll with an actual bone to pick. What the hell were they thinking? Even the most glory drunk peasant boy with his cock in his first farmer’s wife would know to pull out and run when the husband could be heard outside the door. No matter how much their balls might ache for release.<br>&nbsp;<br>Yet all he got in return for his helpful advice was a hearty ‘Fuck you!’ and pissy looks. He hadn’t expected them to be grateful of course, but at least to listen to him.<br>&nbsp;<br>Instead both girls released their load all over the oncoming rats, and rather spectacularly so. One of the larger rats popped like an enormous zit, spreading gore so vile around it that even the other rats threw themselves into cover. As victories goes it was as ugly as it was spectacular, though he had to admit well earned. Both girls looked like they had went through an actual shit storm by now and he didn’t particularly envy them trying to get the stench, not to mention the faintly acidic feces, out of hair or clothes. There was pretty damn compelling reasons that this was an area frequented only by those with no other options, or those with a competent wizard in the group.<br>&nbsp;<br>Cerias dreamed fondly of the days when Anerak just waved his fingers making all the dirt, gore and bile evaporate in multicolored little rainbow-colored bursts that smelled of lavender and ginger, as he watched the two girls scrabble around in the fetid pool of muck in so many colors of brown, green and yellow that it made a multicolored and sickly looking quilt. He truly didn’t want to stomp down there. It would probably take as much time getting his boots free of the putrid gore as to walk to the temple for revivals. Yet the bitching would, by all evidence, be even fouler to deal with than the noxious shit down there, and longer lasting.<br>&nbsp;<br>At last the priestess managed to get her own ankle seen to and once more Cerias paused with his foot about to take the first step down the path to much dubious, but surely shit stained, glory.<br>&nbsp;<br>“Why didn’t she do that to begin with….Seven hells….”<br>&nbsp;<br>He muttered, his voice a purring growl of dismay as the man-sized monsters trudged out of the caves, scattering the smaller members of their horrid species around them. Those were E-DROUS, Elite Dire Rats Of Unusual Size and the closest consorts to the Q-DROUS herself. They had somehow managed to make that monstrous walking boil of teeth and disease rouse from the depths of the caves.<br>&nbsp;<br>Gritting his teeth he stomped down the path towards the girls that still held their damn ground. He had to give them that at least, they didn’t lack for courage or determination. If that determination seemed to be dedicated to making things as difficult as they possibly could for themselves, well, who was he to stop them? Only he was charging in to help he realized belatedly as the brown sludge of rat shit, blood and rotting gore spattered against his boots and leggings with every step he took. Obstinate and headstrong he could do something with, it was far better than timidity and fear in an adventurer. Not to mention that when they actually decided to use their powers, they had some force behind it.<br>&nbsp;<br>His sword left the sheath with barely a whisper and the runes decorating the spine of the blade flared up, shining like molten sapphires and hissing as it burned away the stray drops of offal that came in its way. Still grumbling he plowed right between Lesniya and Sophia, meeting the oncoming storm of snapping teeth and ripping claws head on. Or he would have if he’d intended to fight them.<br>&nbsp;<br>Slamming his right foot down with enough force to send a rippling tsunami of slime the color of day old diarrhea, he channeled all that pent up frustration and ire into a thunderclap of a bellow from the depths of his powerful chest. With it was unleashed a terrorizing shout that froze the oncoming beasts in their tracks, making them tumble and crash into the pools of noxious fluids, scrambling and scratching in the ground to stop their lumbering advance. Screeching and barking, sounding more like scared dogs than vermin, they fled heedlessly away from him in a spray of kicked up shit.<br>&nbsp;<br>The matriarch had only paused and her beady eyes burned a bleak yellow as she considered them for a moment, weary of the presence of the warrior that had joined the two intruders into her kingdom.<br>&nbsp;<br>“When the tank says run, it’s a damn good time to listen!”<br>&nbsp;<br>He growled at the two women as he kept his gaze on the bloated rodent queen. Entirely sure by now that they were both somehow allergic to doing anything that even hinted at being sprinkled with reason, he backed up until he stood next to them.<br>&nbsp;<br>“We aren’t fighting these so if you can’t move your damn asses up the path then I’ll have to move them for you.”<br><br>Not giving them a chance to prove him right he unequipped both shield and sword, how they just appeared on his back and in his scabbard when he did so only the gods knew, and hunched down as he wrapped his long arms around around the waist of the two ladies. One of the few advantages with swinging around a sharp metal stick all day while wearing heavy armor was you got a pair of pretty impressive shoulders, as well as a pretty toned body, and he used every ounce of that as he pulled the girls around until their stomachs hit his shoulders and hoisted them into the air with a grunt. <br><br>“Time for a little talk girls….”<br><br>He muttered as he carried them bodily back up the path, hanging over his back like a pair of very uninspiring and thoroughly uncooperative banners.&nbsp; <br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Beautiful Poison</strong> on <strong>29-03-2019, 06:45:30</strong>
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				<div class="floatright">(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/db/e9/cf/dbe9cf5fe0e93ceb0b2c4707e6679664--character-portraits-character-ideas.jpg)</div> They could do this! They could actually do this! She could feel it in her gut. They had an advantage over these stupid brainless rodents. Magic. Les had her ice and she had her holy spells and together they were unstoppable. They easily managed one large rat and now that they know how to do it, nothing was going to stand between them and victory. <br><br>She could see it now, returning to the inn with one hundred tails and slapping them down on the counter. She was really going to savor the smug look being wiped off the grizzled jowls of the innkeeper when they put that sack down in front of him. The impressed look of the patrons that had scoffed and laughed them out of the pub that night and shutting up that superior, useless, pigheaded, ancient, pain in the ass they had hired to help them. <br><br>She could practically taste that first meal purchased with their hard earned money. Feel the sheets of that freshly made bed in the room they'd rent. Savor the feeling of that long hot bath they had more than earned. It was going to be glorious. It was going to be the best achievement to date and she couldn’t wait to…<br><br>“He…. HEY!” <br><br>The visions of victory had been plucked from Sophie as unceremoniously as she now found herself as Cerias threw his arms around her waist and yanked her bodily out of the muck. The loud, sloppy sucking sound as her boots were wrenched from the mud only served to accentuate the angry sputtering that spilled from her lips as he chucked the pair of them over his shoulders like they were sacks of potatoes. <br><br>“Put us down!” She demanded, beating her muddy fists against his back and swinging her legs trying to connect with a chest, a testicle or a face.<br><br>He spun on the spot, his grip tight and true with his wide hand firmly planted on her meaty and wriggling ass as she flailed uselessly against him. Her hair fell in her face as she desperately tried to find a way down, hearing Les struggling with him on the other shoulder. <br><br>“We had it under control!” She demanded, hastily pulling her hair from her face and spotting the gathering horde of rats descending on the spot where they had just been standing as the brute whisked them away from their rightfully earned glory. <br><br>“You’re just angry that we could do it without you, huh? That’s gotta be it. You and your delicate masculinity couldn’t handle not being needed by us not so delicate girls. We can take care of ourselves! We had it under control, and you know what?!” <br><br>She had just turned to yell at the back of his head when a nudge and a point from her redheaded sibling stopped her rant dead in its tracks. <br><br>The den mother rat was sniffing at the body of the one they had managed to kill, opening her great maw and much to Sophia’s disgust, apparently was about to eat the corpse, but what happened turned out to be much, much worse. <br><br>Instead of devouring her offspring a deep, sickly olive green smoke seemed to pour from her parted jaws, hitting the ground with a greasy weight that certainly wasn’t natural. It spread rapidly over the mud like a fog, swirling around the broken and blown apart fallen brethren and before their shocked and horrified eyes, it started to decompose.<br><br>Well, melt would have been perhaps a more accurate word as the flesh liquified, pooling up around the splintered bones, becoming just more wet brown in a sea of wet brown. <br><br>Sophie felt like hurling, realizing that she could be covered in far worse than just rat shit and mud. The sensation was not aided by the thug's broad shoulder heaving into her tummy with every trudge and stomp. <br><br>The girls stared at one another in stunned silence. Which, admittedly, didn’t last long as they were suddenly heaved forward and deposited onto the sun-baked dirt with an undignified drop onto their plump round asses. <br><br>“Ouch! That hurt!” She complained, the sun in her eyes as she blinked angrily up at him. <br><br>The fight had gone out of her, the sting of not only her bottom but her wounded pride keeping her usual simmering rage muffled as she pushed her hands below her, massaging her soon to be bruised backside. <br><br>“You know… you don’t have to be so damn rough with us!”<br><br>I think we can all agree that yes... yes he did. <br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>KieraJade</strong> on <strong>29-03-2019, 18:24:11</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://mfiles.alphacoders.com/402/402340.jpg)</div>It was the bellow that Cerias gave that got Lesniya to finally shut up, stop moving and listen. His half-crazed war cry had her so surprised, picking her up and slinging her over his shoulder was no feat at all. She was as limp as a wet noodle for all of about two seconds before she joined her companion in beating on the man’s back, kicking her legs, determined to be freed of his grip on her thick thighs. <br><br>The red-haired Evenember had managed to crawl practically up the warrior’s body and even sling one leg over his shoulder, practically straddling it riding like he was some sort of pack animal, when what the Queen Rat of All that is Unholy moved into position. <br><br>With one hand hooked around the bottom of Cerias’ chin, gripping, and the other on Soph’s back, Les watched in utter surprise and disgust as a fog of green emerged from Queenie’s mouth and <em>melted</em> the dead rats…<br><br>Shivers immediately started on her body. She had to fight not to lose what was left in her stomach. Her jaw dropped far enough to almost unhinge as Cerias continued to carry them up the hill, out of the mire and muck and then very unceremoniously dumped them onto the relative safety of the tall dry, yellowed grass there. It was behind hurled down to the ground that finally got her attention on their movements and not the circle of stinky rats down below. She screeched softly, tumbled to the ground and then rolled to her back to look up at the blue-tinged sky. <br><br>For a moment, the red-haired mage simply stared. Blinking, unable to move the rest of her body as the possible consequences of what they’d just seen – along with the smell that was still stuck to her – permeated her brain. <br><br>Then, for a split second, as the raven-haired one was complaining about getting roughed up, a brilliant yellow glow spread through all of them. It burned off the filth and grim, polished their weapons, improved them, and finished the healing Sophie had started on her ankle. A moment later, it was gone and with a wide grin, Les rolled to her knees, eyes finding her friend’s and hands digging into her pouch for the rat tails she had stored there. “Soph!!! Did you see what we did?!?”<br><br>“I can’t believe it. It actually worked. It worked well, too!!”<br><br>She crawled over towards the other girl quickly before sitting back on her knees next to her. Her smile was then turned to Cerias. “And we <em>SURVIVED</em>!”<br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Valace</strong> on <strong>12-04-2019, 10:54:00</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(http://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.roosterteeth.com/uploads/images/54063e01-6933-4e38-b195-d0fc28595a06/md/2181220-1448930942333-Warrior_Karsten_Face.jpg)</div><br>Despite the girls squirming, kicking and flailing, it wasn’t all that much of a burden on the warrior as he carried them up the trail towards safety. Their boots and fists connected with nothing tender and his armor was more than sufficient to block the force from the rare ones to actually land on him. The indignant protests and insults were exactly what he’d imagined and he merely snorted and shook his head, too exasperated to get offended at this point, though his lips did pull in a little snarl that showed teeth at their superhuman ability to ignore reality. <br><br>One of them even climbed him like he was a damn stripper pole but couldn’t entirely get away as his grasp on her hip were like stone. Then they both froze when a noise, he could well picture the results of, flowed up to them from the ravine. He’d seen the effects of that noxious breath before, felt it, and the thought of having the two ladies exposed to it sent a shudder through him. If anything could convince you to give up adventuring it was melting, and being digested in a rat’s intestines. He didn’t quite know why he wanted to spare them that, maybe it would have been the right thing to just let them face it and chase them back to their comfy homes, but there was something in their eagerness that had him curious.<br>&nbsp;<br>It only took a minute to get far enough he figured they would be out of the way from where the beasts would venture to find them and he dumped them unceremoniously to the ground, like they were the two sacks of flour he’d carried them as. They made far more undignified sounds as they landed however and he barely held back a snort at the squeaks and squawks coming his way.&nbsp; &nbsp;<br><br>“So..”<br><br>He began just as that damn golden glow wrapped around them both and his lips pulled into a tight line as he cursed silently to himself. So they’d gotten enough experience to evolve a bit. That would have been great if not for when it happened. <br><br>Not truly wanting to rain on the excitement, their youthful eagerness about such a small victory tugged uncomfortably at something deep within him, he nevertheless knew he had to make them see some kind of sense before it was way too late. <br><br>Reaching out he thumped them both on the head with his knuckles, like he was knocking on a dumbbell to check how dense it was, and he shook his head, grunting as he looked down at them with a sardonic frown. <br><br>“Did you now? And I wonder why that was? Could it have been because I bodily carried you out of there right before you were swarmed by the damn elite guards? If I hadn’t, those bodies being dissolved into the rancid muck of rat flesh and feces would have been you! I bet half my ass and a nut that you had half a dozen spells left between the both of you at best! You were walking rat bait and if you can’t see that then maybe some of that experience should go into intelligence!”<br><br>Perhaps there was a bit too much force in his voice, the growl a bit too deep. He drew in a deep breath, trying to calm himself as well he could as his gaze went from the dark haired girl over to the red head and back. He’d feared for them more than he’d realized, and that bugged him deeply. But he had no time to think on it, if he let them get a word in he’d never get back the momentum. He could feel the indignation in them build, the spoiled brattishness and superior blood cry out for satisfaction and demand that they protest his words.<br><br>“No, this is where I speak and you girls listen!”<br><br>He said as he held his hand towards them palm out, as if he could bodily block the flood he was sure was coming. His pale blue eyes gleamed like ice as he stared down at them. <br><br>“I’d ask you what you did wrong but honestly at this time I don’t think you even know, not if you think that worked well?!”<br><br>There was enough incredulity flooding his voice to drown a castle. <br><br>“Why in the seven squares of hell are you using swords!? Did you even know how to cast spells before this or was that some happy coincidence?”<br><br>He shook his head as he started to count off on his fingers, voice salty enough to make the ocean seem sweet as ambrosia.<br><br>“You ran in there swinging melee weapons like you were a pair of adolescent boys that just discovered they had cocks, despite being casters. You attack anything that move like the previously mentioned boys that see a pair of tits the first time, without any care for how many you draw the attention off. You don’t keep track of any who run away or the location of additional enemies. You don’t listen to advice or run away when there is obviously no chance of winning. You don’t cooperate worth a damn. When you finally get your dicks wet and use your magic you blow your loads faster than an overeager virgin. Then, last of all, you spend time looting with enemies running all around you!“<br><br>Taking another deep breath he felt himself finally calming down just a tad and he remembered one of the few things his old master had said that was actually worth keeping in mind. <br><br>“For all that you did one thing right and that’s why I’m not just walking away. You stood with each other. You didn’t stroke each other’s cocks but you didn’t leave each other hanging either.”<br><br>Pulling out two small packs from the pouches in his belt he tossed them over. The small rations should give them something to snack on, both reinvigorating them a bit and hopefully making them shut up long enough for him to get done talking, or so he hoped. <br><br>“Now, before you try this again,” he looked at them with a raised eyebrow, “no you aren’t done here yet. Eat up and listen.”<br><br>“First of all, you are a wizard or sorceress,” he pointed towards the redhead,” and you are a priestess of some kind,” he pointed at the dark haired girl,” use your magic not weapons, unless you happen to have a wand of some sort. Though even then those are for when you have no mana left or there’s another emergency. Don’t wave those useless swords around, it’s embarrassing. Keep track of how many spells you use, and what kind, get a sense of when you start feeling weaker and to back off. If you get into a situation you can’t handle, and you need to learn to recognize those, then you run like a damn noble lady caught in a thrift store seeing her worst rival traipse up the road. Likewise if the damn tank tells you to run!”<br><br>At this point he sat down on one haunch with his knee in the grass, letting his powerful thighs hold his weight and leaning his thick arms on a knee as he made crude marks in the ground to help his lesson.<br><br>“When you near an area with enemies find one or two that is isolated and attack them from range, preferably with something that slows them down. If you are lucky you can kill it before it gets to you. Be careful of those that try and run away, they can alert other enemies to your presence and you can get overwhelmed. Work together, don’t attack different enemies but the same and make sure you have mana before moving on. Always save some mana for emergencies, an ice nova can help you escape and a few healing spells can turn the tide. <br><br>“Despite you two acting like complete idiots, I hold out hope that you aren’t, “he smiled pointedly at Sophie,” so insecure in your noble egos that you can’t handle taking instructions when you are in more dire need of them than a gnome dating an ogre needs lube.”<br><br>With that he drew in a breath and let it out, knowing he’d regret the next few words. <br><br>“Any questions?”<br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Beautiful Poison</strong> on <strong>08-06-2019, 05:16:07</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/db/e9/cf/dbe9cf5fe0e93ceb0b2c4707e6679664--character-portraits-character-ideas.jpg)</div> This wasn’t the best feeling Sophie had ever experienced. Sitting here on the ground like a reluctantly delivered burlap sack of manure, roasting in the sun and marinating in the fumes of fresh failure all while that bloated horse's ass glowered down at them and…<br><br>The pair were enveloped in a flash of light and the battered young woman felt a heated rush wash over her entire body, from toes to face, like a ball of dough being slide into an eagerly waiting oven. In its wake, it left a tingling of pins and needles not too unlike blood returning to a foot that spent too long under one's ass. <br><br>“HA!” She bellowed in triumph as Les put words to the feelings the moment had left her with. She had just reached out to throw her arms around her adopted sister when. <br><br><em>Thwack!</em><br><br>Instantly her hands clasped the top of her sunbaked hair as the swordsman rapped them both on the head with his bony ass knuckles and with them, punctured their moment of victory. She could feel her good mood escaping out through the new crack in the top of her skull. <br><br>"Ouch!"<br><br>He proceeded to ask them both a series of questions only to continue talking before they got the chance to answer. Somewhere in the pit of her stomach, the familiar bile that fueled her acidic tongue began to bubble. She shouldn’t say what she was thinking… not if they wanted his help. It was becoming a real struggle to keep her mouth shut at this moment and that was when she felt something hit her lap. <br><br>He had tossed them each a small pouch which contained, as it turned out,&nbsp; a piece of hardtack, a bit of meat jerky of some kind and a small round of yellow wax dipped cheese. The excited growling of her stomach felt like a dirty, dirty betrayal as he set into his lecture, pacing back and forth before them. <br><br>This was a bit too like all of her lessons for her liking and thankfully the hardtack mixed with the cheese had turned into some sort of glue in her mouth, requiring all of her jaw muscles and spared him from the line up of snide remarks she would normally have offered up. Perhaps this had been his plan the whole time?<br><br>But there was no denying that as she managed to eat, she felt some energy returning to her mud-caked limbs. Flecks of muck speckled her face like filthy freckles and littered her usually pristine raven black locks with pine needles and gods only knew what else. <br><br>The fact that this was just like her old lessons did not make swallowing the brittle smoked jerky any easier. Nor was the fact that she was forced to sit silently and listen to it. Gone were the days of biting off her tutors heads then running off to Daddy to make up some lie about how they had hit her in order to get rid of them. There was no one left to hide behind and this fact did little to aid her mood. <br><br>Her wounded pride made it difficult to listen, but her bruised and battered body made him impossible to ignore. The steps seemed almost overwhelming to her and sounded more like some complicated waltz through the mud than combat. She still didn’t see what the problem with the swords had been, exactly, but she admitted to herself with a grumble, the spells HAD been more effective. <br><br><em>“Any questions?”</em><br><br>It was all Sophia could do to chew the meat and cheesy paste in her mouth, swallowing hard and nearly choking when it got stuck. <br><br>“Yeah… how in the <em>hells</em> are we supposed to remember all of that?” She remarked finally, her words sounding thick and raspy. <br><br>“Honestly, I had forgotten I even knew that bloody spell until just a few minutes ago and now you want us to keep track of how many times we cast, where we are standing, where they are going and probably what house Saturn is in on any given Sunday.” she scowled up sarcastically at him. <br><br>“You could easily just go down there and kill them for us and then we’d <em>all </em>have silver enough for a month in the inn.” She pointed out, arms folded over a heaving and rapidly rage reddening bosom. <br><br>“And when was the last time you got laid? Cause you’re talking about little boys and cocks an awful lot for my liking.” <br><br>Weeeelp… so much for keeping her mouth shut. Clearly whatever roll she needed to make diplomacy… she had failed it spectacularly.&nbsp; <br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>KieraJade</strong> on <strong>12-06-2019, 15:47:16</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://mfiles.alphacoders.com/402/402340.jpg)</div>Just about to throw her arms around her compatriot, a thump on the head by Cerias sent Lesniya right back onto her ample bottom and rubbing the top of her bright red hair in confusion. They had survived, wasn’t that enough? Clearly not, from the swordsman’s tone. He almost sounded….angry they almost got hurt? <br><br>She was opening her mouth to ask just that question when his grunting growl of listening made her snap it shut again. The list of their wrong-doings was long, and she was afraid at some point he’d run out of fingers. Lesniya listened, however, even with a grumpy frown on her face as she crossed her legs beneath her in the dirt. The small sack of food landed with a surprise in her lap but her stomach refused to let her set it aside. It actually did a good job too of drowning out her anger at the man for berating them after surviving. <br><br>Something about THIS interaction was different than the lessons given by the tutors back with the Evenembers. Or even from her own family, the little of which she could remember from that. He didn’t care what he called them, how he said it, who their father was – none of that. Clearly something was on the line, but watching the consequences of being stuck in that mire with the gaseous rat queen had opened Lesniya’s eyes just enough. <br><br>She tore off a piece of hardtack with her teeth and chewed as Cerias called her a sorceress. Duh. It’s what her mother had been… and had been corrupted because of. She blinked when he called their swords “embarrassing,” exchanging a look with Sophie. <br><br>When he began drawing on the ground, she just had more questions than she did answers. It is what kept her quiet and thoughtfully chewing, watching the interaction now between her dark-haired partner and the warrior. She knew Soph’s pride had been more than wounded. She could feel it radiating off the woman. The indignity of it all. Lesniya was calmer, however. Maybe due to the food? Or simply the celebration in survival? <br><br>Regardless of why, she let Soph speak first when Cerias asked for questions, almost giggling behind her hand as she watched the girl’s sharp tongue start flaying. She had already come to the conclusion that Cerias wasn’t like their past tutors. He could barely be manipulated. Their poor tactics in the past aside, Les recognized that while he was a man with knowledge, sharing it though wasn’t something he particularly cared to do at any given time. Or had an absolutely stellar talent for. <br><br>So while Sophie’s jests got her cracking a smile, she quickly covered it with her hand at the last remark about boys. Her green eyes went wide, before she dropped her hand and hissed at the brunette. “<strong><em>SOPH. IE. QUITIT.</em></strong> He might be prickish and a grumpy dick right now – but he just pulled our big, dumb asses from that disgusting muck and saved them. You don’t gotta be a bitch.”<br><br>That gaze then turned back to Cerias. “<em><strong>THANK. YOU.</strong></em> For that, by the way.” Her tone was sincere, but it was growing equally as harsh. Maybe the trials of the day had taken their toll on her patience? “<strong>BUT SHES RIGHT.</strong>” <br><br>Gone was the mirth, curiosity, happiness. Now, the redhead’s gaze was just intense. “Clearly, we don’t know shit about shit with swords, but we have potential, or you would’ve left a long time ago. You gotta dial it down from 11, Sir Tank, if you want us to listen. Throwing us right into the deep end of the pool with an information dump isn’t gonna teach us to immediately swim.” She began gathering the bits of food left and stuffing them back in the sack, standing up. Reaching into her hip pouch, she pulled out the tails she’d collected and dropped them into Sophie’s lap, trusting her to sort and store them. <br><br>“I know how to cast spells,” she said through gritted teeth, moving between the two of them now, refusing to look at either, her boots crunching on the hard ground. “I just don’t like to.” <br><br>Lesniya kept walking. Away from the swamp, away from the people she had just fought alongside, away from that rancid stench, until she was out of earshot and could sit her plump rear back down in some soft, unsmelling, non-rat-infested grass and finish the rations she’d been given. 
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Valace</strong> on <strong>23-06-2019, 21:41:22</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(http://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.roosterteeth.com/uploads/images/54063e01-6933-4e38-b195-d0fc28595a06/md/2181220-1448930942333-Warrior_Karsten_Face.jpg)</div><br><br><br>It wasn’t that he really had expected any kind of positive reaction to his lecture. There had never even been the flicker of a dream that they might accept the words of wisdom, thank him for his aid and ask some pertinent questions to widen their understanding. Honestly he had no idea what he would have done if that is what they’d ended up doing. So when the dark headed girl, he’d long since forgotten her name or if he’d even heard it, started to give him lip he was ready to take that in stride. He’d even put on what he figured was a perfectly good expression of silent patience and, if not serenity, at least a passable stoic calmness. <br><br>Even battered, bruised and dragged through a fetid mud bath, they had an impressive amount of fire left. When the wind turned the wrong way he got a lovely little fetid reminder of just what was smeared over their clothes and skin as the stench of rotting feces, and the cloyingly sweet scent of rotting cadaver, invaded his nostrils. When it turned the other way small chittering sounds, mixed with small squeaks and crunching bones reached him instead. <br><br>The little jeer about liking boys almost drew a smile out of him just for the amount of spunk it showed him. Unfortunately the rest of it was enough to make him wonder if it wouldn’t be more expedient to just slam his head against his shield, or a big fat tree, or perhaps drink for a week straight, if he wanted to punish his brain.&nbsp; The fact that neither of them seemed to have taken in anything at all of what he’d said, and didn’t even bother to ask one single goddess forsaken little question instead of rejecting it all, made him truly wonder if it was all worth it. <br><br>They both seemed to agree at not getting it, or even really wanting to get it, though the red head made some attempt to show she might be open to learning, except he was in no way grumpy, prickish or a dick...and wasn’t that kinda the same thing anyway? His eye twitched a few times as he fought to stay calm, though some of the frustration leaked out, making his goatee bristle restlessly. It wasn’t that he’d never thought of smacking a dumb ass caster or over eager rogue now or then. But this was the first time he’d actually felt the urge to pull two of them over his lap. <br><br>His lips pulled in a sour grimace and he wondered whether it might be worth it to grab them both and drop them off in the mucky brown sludge in the crevasse to see if they woke up a bit. How else would they learn to swim as she had so wonderfully put it?<br><br>Although then of course she gathered her stuff and left, leaving him and the dark haired one left behind. At least she’d let slip the name of her friend before she left. <br><br>For a few seconds he pondered just grabbing hold of her and dumping her back onto her, admittedly very lovely, rear to ask them both what they really wanted out of it. But if there was something he could appreciate it was a need to be alone for a little bit and so he ran his hand through his long, unruly, hair and followed her wagging end with a pair of grey eyes as she walked away. <br><br>Sighing heavily, he ran his fingers once more through the sun-bleached locks and pushed away the gnawing little voice that muttered something about perhaps expecting them to pick everything up in a few minutes might be a bit like pushing a virgin into the sultan’s harem with a bag of herbs and tell him to go at it, expecting two dozen worn out women instead of a poor guy fainting at the sight of too many bare tits. <br><br>Really at this point he’d basically stopped wondering why he was helping them at all and with that done it was all down to the ‘how’ of it.<br><br>Turning his head back he locked down at the unwilling ‘student’ that still remained in his class of adventuring 101 for the really impatient, and bit his cheek for a moment as he studied her. <br><br>“You are supposed to remember it by doing it.”<br><br>He began, most of the exasperation erased from his voice, leaving mostly a dry amusement.<br><br>“If you cast a spell you need to know how ‘many’ you can cast without running out of energy, and how much damage you might do so you can use the best spell for the occasion. If you have a full sack and then blow every load on the first whore you meet, you have nothing left to spend on the next three”<br><br>One eyebrow quirked up as if challenging her to comment on that observation. <br><br>“I don’t know much about the planets and stars but if they are important to your casting, then ‘yes’ you should know about them.”<br><br>Pacing a little bit back and forth he tossed a look the way the fiery one had gone, forcing the simmering worry that she might run into something she couldn’t handle, which was most of it really, down and away. It wasn’t easy however. For some reason the pair of them put a damn torch to the worst instincts to tank and protect sleeping deep down in his warrior heart.<br><br>Looking over to the ravine he absentmindedly ran his fingers up and down the hilt of his sword. Maybe it would be worth throwing them a bone just to see what they would do with it.<br><br>“You haven’t finished the quest yet I believe.” <br><br>He began as he looked back to her to watch her reaction.<br><br>“Sure I could go down and kill them all, but according to you that time would be better spent grabbing hold of a wench…or two.Look,&nbsp; Soph…Sophia was it? You can do it you know. Just stay away from the bloody swords. Attack one rat at a time if you can and be careful.”<br><br>His lips pulled in the faintest of smiles. He had to admit he enjoyed the mouths on these two. There was a fire there, a heat. Right now the flames were all over the place but if it could be harnessed then there might be some very fine steel to be forged. He crossed his arms, clearly showing the width and thickness of a tank’s chest and shoulders, and nodded.&nbsp; <br><br>“Okay, how about you go have a chat with your friend. Decide if you want to finish your quest. If you do, while trying to follow my instructions…I’ll throw in a little extra bonus for you that will give you a nice fat dick to slap in the face of those virgins&nbsp; in the inn? Interested?”<br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Beautiful Poison</strong> on <strong>05-07-2019, 05:17:49</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/db/e9/cf/dbe9cf5fe0e93ceb0b2c4707e6679664--character-portraits-character-ideas.jpg)</div> Maybe it was that weird golden glow that had done it, or perhaps the gross hardtack and a shade too soft cheese that had helped? Whatever it was, Soph could feel her energy and strength returning. The cuts and scrapes were starting to knit together under the caked on mud and her legs and limbs felt a little less heavy. But was she going to tell HIM that? Hell no! <br><br>She had been abandoned to finish out the remainder of their scolding, a ritual that mimicked her childhood. Often she would have to stay for the full duration of the lecture as Les was far too sweet and often cried when in trouble, but even then the stern talking to was just for show, making it even more tedious to wait out. <br><br>He was starting to explain how things worked and she found, especially with how he was looming over her like this, that she had little choice but to actually listen. Her violet eyes squinted as she gazed up at him, watching as he gestured with his hands, imitating spellcraft and pointing to their completely fucking useless swords. Privately she allowed herself a moments fantasy of going back to the merchants she purchased them from and sticking them right up their… <br><br>“You haven’t finished the quest yet I believe.” <br><br>“Huh?” she replied but he did not wait for an answer before continuing. <br><br>Difficult to tell if the food was bad or she had sat in the sun too long after overexerting herself, but the old man was starting to make sense. Maybe a bit too much. The idea of going back down to the rats and trying that disaster all over again made her lips recoil into a grimace. She wanted to argue, even tried to think of a few good points she could throw back at him, but he didn’t get that armor and those gray hairs being wrong.<br><br>Well, she was at least sort of sure he didn’t… maybe. <br><br>Course they were fucking interested! What the hell else could they do? They had no money, no food, no place to sleep and she sure as shit wasn’t gonna sleep in a stable again. <br><br>“Yes, fine… okay.” she grumbled, the tingling in her legs telling her they had fallen asleep. <br><br>Getting to her feet would have been tricky enough after all that fighting and slogging through mud, but on a hill with her legs asleep? Well, this wasn’t gonna be very graceful. She rolled onto her hands and knees, her dirt and mud splattered bottom making the cheap leather pants groan as she clawed at the ground with her hands and boots, eventually finding purchase and heaving herself up. Pins and needles raced up and down her muscles as they protested, sore and stiff as she forced them to move. <br><br>“Les… Les, hey, listen.” She groaned, stumbling finally up beside the redhead. <br><br>“I… ugh… I think he’s right.” She said, being careful to keep her voice low enough so that the smug geezer down the hill couldn’t hear her. <br><br>“I don’t like it any better than you do, but I think we can probably finish this like he said.” <br><br>As she spoke she swatted at the caked on mud that had started to dry letting it tumble back to the ground. <br><br>“Just think, we’ll get triple the amount of silver we had expected and then we can ditch that old fossil and… and… maybe we’ll figure this shit out enough to go adventuring without the chaperone.” <br><br>She finished, pulling a few twigs out of her long black hair before peering down her sweat dappled nose at the copper-haired woman. <br><br>“What do you think?”<br>&nbsp;
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>KieraJade</strong> on <strong>16-07-2019, 19:50:37</strong>
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				<div class="floatright">(https://mfiles.alphacoders.com/402/402340.jpg)</div>Lesniya had been sorrowfully chewing on the hardtack and cheese when Sophie came over to her. She’d kept her gaze away from the woman, but more out of the need to control her own emotions. She knew if she looked at her friend – who was really more like a sister – she’d start to collapse. But instead of anger, Sophie offered her commiseration. And a way to move forward. <br><br>Tucking the rest of the semi-snack away, Les reached up for Sophie’s hand, grasping it tight when it was offered and letting herself be hauled to her feet. “I think you’re right.” She said softly, her hands coming up to brush her own riotous curls back out of her face before settling on Sophie’s shoulders. It was then the girl finally brought her gaze to the brunette’s. She gave a small, sardonic smile, and touched her forehead to Sophie’s. “I’d rather not sleep in a stable again, if we can manage…” <br><br>The pair hugged tight for a second. Their arguments never lasted long. They were too much of a team to squabble for too long. Disengaging, she let Sophie lead her back towards Cerias a bit, before they turned off the path and made their way to the edge of the pit. She’d thrown a glance at him, watched his eyes for a moment, but that was about it. He was right in almost everything he said, and that was really what she’d disliked most of all about him. <br><br>Making their way to the edge of the rat’s area, Lesniya began checking her clothes and weapon. It was all secured. Dirty, but secured. She and Sophie agreed. They’d try to do it the tank’s way this time. The trees finally ended and when they emerged from that line, the area below looked… <br><br>….weirdly clean? <br><br>It was as if the Queen didn’t exist. The place was no less smelly, but the bodies of the fallen rats had disappeared, most of the larger rats were nowhere to be seen, and it even seemed a little brighter in the fetid green mud pit. <br>No swords. Only spells and incantations at this respawn.<br><br>The very thing the Les would hate to do. Because each one she cast she felt brought her closer to that corruptible edge. The one half her family couldn’t seem to stay away from. But Sophie was there, so she was in agreement. They needed to do this. If not for pride, or experience, but for the money. Staying another night in the stable was not acceptable. She wanted a pillow beneath her head tonight. And when was the last time she’d had a good orgasm?? <br><br>Leaning to the side a bit, Les kept her eyes on the rats below. They were smaller, but she also kept expecting them to change. Or more to pour out of the cavernous opening that sat at the back of the pit like it was just waiting for them to dare and enter. “So if I can…. Immobilize the rats…. Keep them in place… What if you.. you know… Blow their heads up or something?”<br>&nbsp;<br>Raising her eyebrows, she brought her gaze back to Soph’s. “If we go in down that edge over there,” she pointed just a few feet away. “Less rats. We could do like ol’ fuddy duddy said back there, and pick off one at a time?” <br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Valace</strong> on <strong>18-07-2019, 16:15:06</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(http://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.roosterteeth.com/uploads/images/54063e01-6933-4e38-b195-d0fc28595a06/md/2181220-1448930942333-Warrior_Karsten_Face.jpg)</div>Not that he had anticipated much, so the grumbled, and rather reluctant, compliance that sounded like she was a kid being forced to share her last candy with a sibling, was all that he’d truly hoped for. The girls had set a rather low bar when it came to what he expected from them in terms of an agreeable nature. A bit too close to how he usually felt when he had to drag a bunch of irate and overly excitable adventurers through a dungeon. It was like wrangling cats by throwing flowers at them. If you were lucky you got a lazily lifted head or a flick of an ear once in a while. <br><br>But at least she’d agreed to try, and so Cerias watched Sophia slowly clamber onto her feet, once more appreciating the drive it took to keep going despite being caked in rat gunk and rotten soil, and stumble over towards where her red headed friend had vanished off to. It was a shame that blood, shit and gore didn’t all disappear when the enemies de-spawned and returned to their territories. Would have saved a whole ton of trouble and laundry bills.<br><br>Taking a chance to enjoy some of the traveler rations for his own while the pair conferred, he snuck a few pieces of left over sausage from the bar along with the hard tack and a few deep draughts of water. The cool liquid poured down his throat like a soothing wind after a month in the southern jungles and he wondered if he should tip them off to the delight in enchanted gear when it came to comforts, or if that would only make things worse. <br><br>The hardtack was decent, if rough, and his broad jaws chewed down on it firmly, working until he felt them ache faintly from the effort. It might not taste of much more than faintly spiced saw dust and bark, but it was definitely filling. If the red headed one…Les he thought…ever got a bit more experienced she’d learn to conjure food. Another thing they might not be quite ready to hear just yet. <br><br>Warm sunlight caressed his sharp and roughly hewn features, the heat turned into a mild caress along his bristled jawline by the soft breeze that also tugged and snapped around his long, weather bleached locks. It was as if the day itself teased him for a smile. A joy he refused to give it as the frown of his lips remained in a frown so stead it could have been hewed out of rock. <br><br>It hovered in place as the girls returned as well, though he felt a small pleased rumble of warmth spread in his abdomen at the sight of them not giving up. That he hadn’t been wrong in offering them some additional aid. <br><br>They ignored him however and he settled for following along behind, his leather boots finding easy purchase in the dry dirt along the trail as they set off down into the ravine. As he’d thought the dire rats had scurried back into their hovels, leaving their smaller cousins to snatch and squabble over the half rotted carcasses outside. The scent carried up on the wind was a lovely little fetid slap in the face and he grimaced faintly as he waited behind the girls, listening in on their conversation and mostly agreeing with the plans they formulated. <br><br>‘That’s right,’ he thoughts, nodding in accord he knew they didn’t really care for, ‘keep it simple, keep it to the point.’<br><br>He’d already scouted a group or two of the furry bags of boils and teeth that would make for an excellent first pull. But he wanted to wait to they got started before he got too involved with their work. <br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Beautiful Poison</strong> on <strong>23-07-2019, 05:56:48</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/db/e9/cf/dbe9cf5fe0e93ceb0b2c4707e6679664--character-portraits-character-ideas.jpg)</div> Sophie could hear the footsteps of Mr. Pain in the Ass behind them as they trudged down the hill towards the wet, puckered, rat spewing anus of the mountain. Needless to say, her mood had not improved much on the brief stroll. The closer they got the quieter the area became. The mammoth queen rat and her filthy spawn had just simply vanished, leaving only two of the little runts rutting in the mud. <br><br>Cerias had stopped following them as the dirt gave way to the slop they had managed to flop around in half an hour earlier and somehow, in that brief amount of time she had managed to forget just how awful it smelled. She had to clamp her throat shut to keep from gagging. <br><br>“Let’s get this over with.” She muttered to Les at her side, feeling her adopted sister taking a deep breath, squaring up for the second round. <br><br>The two rats while near were not standing side by side and all she could hear was his voice boring “make them count.” into her head. If he was right, then they’d really have to conserve abilities they only just discovered they had. She felt like she might hurl the pressure and anxiety was strong. <br><br>“Make them count.” She whispered, pondering what to do. <br><br>If they could get the rats together perhaps they would be able to hit them both with a single shot? But how, though? The faintest flickering of an idea was brewing in the Evenember’s mind as she looked from the rodents to her best friend and then back again. <br><br>“Les?” She asked. “I… I think I got an idea.” <br><br>Let’s be real honest here, with the amount of uncertainty in her voice, the notion of her having an idea seemed about as threatening as just running into the cave of rats. <br><br>“I’m thinking if I can get their attention and force them to run up the hill towards us, you think you could hit both of them with a single ice spell thingy?” <br><br>The pair very quickly discussed the logistics, keeping their voices low as to not give their teacher a chance to tell them they were wrong. After a few hurried words, they agreed. This would be their best shot. Or, at least, the only one that seemed to make any sense. <br><br>Sophia ran her fingers nervously through her hair, a habit she had since she was a child, which served no real purpose other than to smear the muck through the blue-black locks. At least it kept it from her eyes rather effectively. <br><br>“Okay, here goes nothing. Don’t hit me, okay?” <br><br>With that, she began sinking down the hill, her boots sliding in the mud and more than once almost losing her balance. It took her a few minutes of walking forward and stopping. She watched the rats completely ignore her for a moment and then continued. Eventually, they would see her, right? She wouldn’t have to kick them in the heads, would she? <br><br>They seemed perfectly content to just much away on gods only knew what on the floor as she moved ever closer. The smell from the grotesque cave opening hit her full-on in a humid concoction of putrid smells and repulsive damp heat. <br><br>Still nothing. She considered yelling at them to get their attention but she didn’t want to risk the others scampering out of the cave. Not this close with Les too far up the hill to get to her in time. She was just considering this as she took another step when suddenly both rats raised their heads at once, beady black eyes instantly finding her. <br><br>The trio stood frozen for a moment as if completely gobsmacked as to what to do next but when the rats shrieked in an angered rage at being snuck up on, survival instincts kicked in. <br><br>"Guh!!!" <br><br>The reluctant priestess spun on the spot and took off running, a task made exceedingly difficult as the ground under her boots was about as slippery as a married man trying to explain the whore in his bedroom. Several times she fell forward on her hands, nails clawing at the mud in desperate search of resistance somewhere below them. She could hear the wet little slappings of the rat's bald feet and webbed claws splattering in the muck behind her. <br><br>Her vision was a mess but she kept aiming for the spot of flame-red hair up the hill. She was almost there and chances a peek over her shoulder. What she saw gave her a leap of pride, not to mention a sizable dose of surprise, that the two rats were bumping their fat, boil speckled rumps together, almost fighting one another for the chance to bite into her first. <br><br>“Les!” She yelled, half as a request and half by shock. <br><br>The tip of her boot had snagged a root buried somewhere under the feted layers of gunk and the suddenness of it sent her flying, practically belly flopping at the feet of the mage who was standing ready. <br><br>Even the loud splatter was not enough to drown out the sound of the air freezing over her head. The way even the very breath pouring from her lips in great white puffs froze to her skin as Les sent a bolt of glittering ice hurtling towards the beasts. The shrieks were quickly muffled as the aim of her spell proved to be perfection. <br><br>They both halted, the front halves of their bodies frozen and left immobile while their back ends thrashed wildly as they attempted to escape their icy straight jackets. Injured but they could maybe break free. <br><br>Scraping the muck from her clothing and slinging it from her hands by wiping her arms, Sophie pointed her fingers at the pair of struggling animals and felt the still strange sensation of energy flowing from deep within her limbs. <br><br>One sizzling ball of light later and the heads of the rats exploded in frozen gory glory. Sophie beamed at her sister with a wide, muddy grin. That had gone better than she had expected, really. <br><br>But, like all good things for the pair it seemed, the victory was short lived. <br><br>The commotion outside seemed to have roused the larger rats wherever they had managed to vanish to and now three or four of the massive fuckers stomped out into the daylight. <br><br>“Uhhh, you think it’ll work again?” the black haired girl asked her friend sounding concerned. The other two had been small but these were the big ones. Last time it had taken everything they had in order to kill even one of them. 
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>KieraJade</strong> on <strong>26-07-2019, 16:41:49</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(https://mfiles.alphacoders.com/402/402340.jpg)</div>Like she was hyperventilating, Lesniya drew in great gulps of air as she watched Soph’s form run across the mucky-bottomed rat range. The rats were closing in – not particularly fast – but they were there. If she didn’t act accordingly, her friend was sure to suffer more than just a twisted ankle like last time. She shook her hands out at her side, nervously. Not that it would do any good. Whipping your hands back and forth like you were trying to get sticky bun batter off the pads of your fingers before mom saw did nothing to warm up spells for a would-be low-level sorceress. <br>It sure felt good though. <br><br>“C’mon…c’mon… closer…” <br><br>She murmured, her head whipping back a minute to glance over her shoulder. Cerias was watching. That fact only made the energy churn harder in her stomach. Control was not something people in her family had been known for. But it was necessary in this moment. <br><br>With one more deep breath, Les pulled from that resource within. She took twin scoops, concentrated them in her hands and when the aim was right - sent twin blasts towards the rats following her friend. A few moments later, the black-haired Evenember blew their heads off. <br><br>Lesniya had never been so relieved to see lifeless bodies. <br><br>Except that feeling was incredibly short lived. More of the bigger beasts stomped out of the cave and began hefting their weight the way of the girls. Soph’s concerned question reached Lesniya’s ears and she shook her head hard. “They’re too…. I got an idea!! Just keep moving!!” She said, crouching to the ground. <br><br>Spreading her hands, Lesniya frowned hard as she placed them on top of the muck at her feet. “ew ew eww ewwww….” The wet, smelly muck made a disgusting squelch as it grew up through her fingers. Digging into that well of mana and power again, Lesniya’s eyes practically glowed as she let it flow from her center, down her arms, and along the ground, covering it in crackling fog and freezing the wet muck and mire that extended outwards from her, all the way to where the lumbering rat beasts were now gaining speed. The ice crackled beneath them, buckling under their weight. The sharp shards pierced some of their meaty flesh, but Lesniya kept PUSHING. Til the ice built and strengthened… and became a sheet over the ground, making it impossible for the rats to gain any purchase with their pudgy claws. <br><br>The breath she blew out was a mist as Lesniya pulled back, dropping to her knees and working hard to catch her breath. “That should… slow them down… heads… aim for the heads…” She huffed out, her curvy ass plopping onto her boots as she leaned back and drew in another breath. A satisfied grin though curled up on her face. It felt almost too good to use those powers she’d known were down deep. Addictingly satisfying. “Get ‘em Soph!” She encouraged, trying to climb to her feet now, cussing quietly as the ground kept her from staying balanced enough to do so. <br><br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Valace</strong> on <strong>09-08-2019, 06:35:52</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(http://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.roosterteeth.com/uploads/images/54063e01-6933-4e38-b195-d0fc28595a06/md/2181220-1448930942333-Warrior_Karsten_Face.jpg)</div>Walking up along the side of the little ravine not only helped him stay out of the way of the pair of newly minted rat killers, it also did a ton for letting him avoid stepping in too much of the fetid gravy that stank like a corpse someone had taken a dump in and then left in the sun to slowly melt. As he watched the girls huddle up to discuss their strategy, he considered it for a moment and wondered if that wasn’t exactly what had happened.<br><br>While a few more inches of distance from the revolting sludge didn’t actually do much to lessen the impact of the stench as it sent cloying tendrils tickling his nose hairs, he couldn’t stop himself from leaning away from it as much as he could as he braced his broad, leather armored, back against the wall of the cliff walling them in with the scurrying, putrid, critters.<br><br>As the sun bore down up them, burning the odor into the leather of his buckles and harness, and etched it into the metal of his bracers and sword, he wondered if there was magic potent enough in the world to remove it. Or if he’d have to run through the damned Halls of Lost Echoes again just to get a new set off armor. The only saving grace was that he hadn’t bothered to put on the heavy duty stuff for what should have been a short little sortie to ease the weight of boredom from his shoulders long enough to let him avoid it dunking his face right into a flagon of mead.<br><br>Although, with how this little outing had begun, that was still a very real possibility, he mused as he watched the two of them finally agree on something. His eyes panned over them, half appreciating the determination edged upon faces where their beauty still shone under the grime, and half wondering what they were up to.&nbsp; <br><br>He nearly called out to the dark haired priestess as she started down the slope towards the small group of rats, wondering what the hell she was doing, but stopped with his hand half outreached towards her in some desperate hope she just wanted to get a better angle or had seen some lone straggler he’d missed.<br><br>Really he was still expecting her to stop at any second. For surely she couldn’t mean to do the exact same thing he’d told her not to do only minutes before. His eyebrows slowly rose the closer she got to the pair of pestilent rodents happily gnawing away on their rotting meal. In time with the shrinking distance he found it harder and harder to not interfere and, when only steps kept her from a whole lot of beady-eyed attention, he had to physically bite down on a knuckle not to yell at her to get her fine ass back up the slope and act like a proper damn priest instead of thinking that she was a bloody tank.<br><br>While he had thought his eyebrows had come as far up as they could possibly rise, he felt them shoot far enough up to be a danger to passing dragons as she willfully stepped into the range of their active area and purposefully call their attention to them. His mouth fell open and worked soundlessly up and down as he then saw her turn around and scramble up the path, slipping and sliding in the muck as she desperately fought to keep her distance from snapping teeth that looked like half fossilized carrots dripping with phlegm.<br><br>Stuck between the urge to let out a rumbling laugh at the sight of Sophie frantically claw for purchase in the unholy brew of mottled green and brown sludge, throwing thick gobs of it into the air to rain about them with wet splats, and to throw himself into the middle of the combat as his need to do his duty as a tank flared to life in his chest, he remained in place, staring at the ludicrous scene playing out before him. It wasn’t often he let himself be held by indecision but this time he was stuck between just crushing the critters and be done with it, and letting the two willful girls eat the burnt pie of their consequences.<br><br>That didn’t mean he didn’t grumble steadily under his breath as he watched her reach her redheaded friend. Who actually managed to freeze both of the charging rodents until they looked like a pair of young boys getting stuck in the window leading to the girls baths, with their fat rumps wagging furiously in the air, the naked tails snapping in the air like whips swung by a mad slaver.<br><br>The pair of rats shouldn’t pose any danger, and were quickly disposed of by his unwilling protégées, letting him relax back against the wall again, his heart still beating harder than he’d ever admit to anyone in the thick trunk of his chest. He was just opening his mouth to offer some pretty useful advice; like don’t fucking run to the mobs like a newly paid seaman towards a brothel, when you can attack from range; when he heard some chittering deeper down the ravine. Apparently he wasn’t the only one that had taken offence at the foolhardy tactic as two patrols of dog sized rats converged at the same time and took off up the trail.<br>&nbsp;<br>Blame for that he couldn’t entirely place on the girls, he mused, as every party got unlucky. No harm, they just needed to back off far enough to let the guards return to their…<br><br>A deep, utterly tired, sigh passed his lips and his mouth turned into the same flat line as a parent that comes home after a day in the field and discovers that yes, their kids had tried to bake, and yes the flower was now painting the whole inside of the cottage white, and they had for some reason let the cows inside where they had eaten half the bedspread and taken a dump on your mattress, when he saw that no, they were indeed not running back. Because of course they didn’t. His palms suddenly itched and he wondered just how worth it would be to lose his eardrums, and the feeling in his hands, should he try and spank some sense into them.<br><br>Those thoughts came to a halt so suddenly they might as well have been a platoon coming up on a gorgon without blindfolds as he saw the redheaded girl kneel down in the horrible sludge and start glowing like a polished gold coin lying alone in Robber’s Alley. It wasn’t that he hadn’t seen what a mage could do before. Or that he hadn’t seen one turn half a battlefield into a sheet of ice. But never one of her level. It shouldn’t be possible. There was simply no way that she could do it, she’d burn herself out and…<br><br>His mouth fell open as he saw the soupy ground turn hard and sparkle like a rotten cake of mud someone had decided to glaze. How? How had she? His mouth snapped shut with a clack that sounded like ice breaking off a glazier as he saw the proud, if strained, grin on her lovely face as she attempted to galvanize her friend into action.<br><br>Whatever it had been she’d certainly earned his curiosity, and some extra help, he decided with a shake of his head.<br><br>“I admire your bravery, if not your brains girls.”<br><br>The broad shouldered warrior grunted with a voice swimming in the deepest trench of grouchy sarcasm as he stepped forwards, the sound of his gleaming blade cutting through the sound of jagged claws scratching and screeching over the icy muck. He still couldn’t quite believe how Lesniya had managed to pull of the kind of spell she did, but the ice cracking faintly under his heavy boots didn’t lie. She saw her unsteadily try and get to her feet though, the magic obviously taxing her to the limit. A pulse of crawling fear for the girls safety leached into his voice as anger.<br><br>“Remember what I said about conserving energy? I didn’t mean to run down and bodily pull the bloody monsters! And what about what I said about running when odds are bad? That doesn’t mean throw everything and the town crier at them and hope for the best!”<br><br>Heat flashed in his eyes and he stomped down hard on the half solid sheet of piss brown stew of carcass and shit, grimacing in distaste as shards and partly molten drops of it sprayed around him even as the shockwave snapped down towards the scrabbling rats. Followed by a thunderclap of wet, meaty, yowls as two of them were tossed in the air before crashing down onto the frozen ground where they lay spasming and twitching as ice blue tendrils sparked over their mottled fur, sending fingers of black smoke to stab the air.<br><br>Him disposing of two of the DROUS left two remaining and even with the redhead, Les he reminded himself, panting and trying to get on her feet, he figured they should be able to handle it. The enormous pair of rotting pelts hissed like teapots boiling over as they finally got their mangy claws to burrow in the uneven ice coating. Their beady eyes, filled with endless hunger, had locked completely on the panting and wobbling mage as if she was the last female rat in the den. They ignored the warrior inspecting the damage the stomp in the muck had done to his boots and pants as if he wasn’t even there.<br><br>“Step back slowly Red,” he remarked as casually as if he’d advised her about when the library closed, “see if you can summon lesser frost bolts to delay their approach while conserving your power.”<br><br>His eyes turned partly to Sophie as he went on.<br><br>“Meanwhile why don’t you get some distance and move up to the side here and start whittling them down? If you pack anywhere near the punch your friend does, it shouldn’t be all that impossible.”<br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Beautiful Poison</strong> on <strong>18-08-2019, 03:16:25</strong>
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				<div class="floatright">(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/db/e9/cf/dbe9cf5fe0e93ceb0b2c4707e6679664--character-portraits-character-ideas.jpg)</div> “Whooa!” <br><br>The murmur of appreciation was uttered loudly as Les managed to send out a crackling wave of solid ice that crawled towards the rats like a shadow swiftly reaching across a courtyard. Two hours ago she would have never figured either of them would be down in the muck slinging magic and she almost wished her father were there to see it as he’d likely have just as difficult a time believing it as she did. <br><br>She was just starting to feel proud of themselves, including his half assed compliment when he remarked…<br><br><em>“Remember what I said about conserving energy? I didn’t mean to run down and bodily pull the bloody monsters! And what about what I said about running when odds are bad? That doesn’t mean throw everything and the town crier at them and hope for the best!”<br></em><br>“Ugh!” Sophie didn’t hesitate to let him know what she thought of his advice. <br><br>“You said to make it count. How else were we supposed to kill two birds with one stone?” <br><br>The dark haired one climbed to her feet, backing up the hill as the rats scrambled for purchase. Their broken jagged claws left long white gashes in the glistening brown ice as they desperately and angrily tried to climb the hill. The inches thick layer of frozen water was not a smooth glossy surface, but rather the textured carpet of mud had frozen providing them little grips here and there and before long the rodents had managed to claw their way a decent distance, eyes locked on Les, whom they seemed to blame squarely for their nasty situation. <br><br>The two that remained after the tank had oh so graciously gotten off his ass and decided to help were still quite sizable and with minor injuries and it seemed that Soph would have to deal with them and fast as there wasn’t too much ice remaining between them and her. <br><br>There was something thrilling in the fear of it, of facing off against monsters with no promise of surviving or coming out unscathed. She could understand a bit now, the tails that storytellers and bards alike spun of the romance of adventuring. <br><br>Her fingers ached and her body was sore. Even now she could feel bruises beginning to blossom on her pale skin below the layers of cheap canvas and leather that her gear was made up of. Yesterday they had fled from even the smaller rats but now they were here, covered in shit, cut, scraped, battered and broken in parts but holding their ground. They had not run away, even if the tank had insisted they do so. <br><br>Well, he could fuck right off. Evenembers don’t run. <br><br>Even with all of that pride bubbling inside of her, Sophie was only vaguely aware that her brain was nervously reciting a prayer over and over in her head, the words fading in and out like music carried on the wind. Were her thoughts even doubting her? Praying to the gods to save her from a public and deeply embarrassing failure? <br><br>She paused, allowing herself a precious moment to focus upon the words. Where had she heard this prayer before? It wasn’t in the common tongue and just how did she know it was a prayer in the first place? Its cadence was almost melodic, words she couldn’t remember the meaning to rhyme with each short verse. <br><br>It was relentless, like a song you’d have stuck in your head for hours or even days, it refused to be ignored. Soon, Sophia was mouthing the words, mumbling them out loud and feeling herself growing more confident in their pronunciations. The same tingling static energy rippled over the surface of her skin, making the tiny fine hairs of her arms stand on end. Well, those that weren’t covered in mud, that is. <br><br>Just as the rats had reached the end of their icy runway, tiny specks of glimmering light floated about their heads like little airborne match heads, they grew larger and brighter. <br><br>The rodents stopped, blinking in confusion and snapping aggressively at the little fireflies that buzzed about their head, only they weren’t fireflies but flames that quickly landed on the creatures like flies on shit. <br><br>Instantly their matted hair ignited, adding the smell of burning fur to the already intoxicatingly putrid array of fragrances. The rats squealed in pain as the flames hit their skin, rolling in the mud in an attempt to put themselves out. The flames would not be so easily snuffed. <br><br>The priestess felt herself going light headed, continuing to slowly back up the incline towards Cerias and away from the now grisly spectacle before her. Their shrieks were as impossible to ignore as the scent that was making her eyes water. The giant creatures flailed, legs and tails going in all directions as they slide down the icy hillside towards their cave. <br><br>They would likely be dead by the time they finally finished sliding all the way down, or at least she guessed as they had finally stopped squealing. Their hulking corpses still appeared to have some fight left in them, as if the limbs hadn’t yet realized that the brain had extinguished like the magicked flames that no longer danced over their targets. <br><br>“I… uhh…” She began, feeling the shift a bit under her feet, causing her to reach out and brace herself against the trunk of a long since dead pine tree. <br><br>“Huh?” The single sound summed up her own shock and a dash of pride at the unexpected appearance of what she could only guess was divine intervention? She sure as hell didn’t remember learning that language in school. <br><br>The trio stood in silence, Soph and Les panting from exertion, waiting to see if their trials had been completed to satisfaction or if fate would see fit to continue to shit on them some more. <br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>KieraJade</strong> on <strong>23-08-2019, 15:44:27</strong>
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				<div class="floatright">(https://mfiles.alphacoders.com/402/402340.jpg)</div>A wave of exhaustion unlike any she’d ever known swept through Lesniya as she knelt in the muck and the mud of the rathole. She was going to be picking chunks of the mire from her curls for days, she just knew. Her body, however, didn’t care at the moment. She was going to need a few more moments to recoup before standing and moving with any sort of grace was an option. The ice action she’d performed had tapped her resources – exactly the thing Cerias had told her NOT to do. But the satisfaction at seeing it work had made a rare smile appear out of nowhere on her face. <br><br>That satisfaction had her reenergizing quicker than normal, as well. <br><br>Cerias’ voice got her attention – along with his boot-stomp-from-hell – as Sophie’s magic started some fireworks. The escapades had distracted the rodents left long enough that she was able to climb to her feet and do as the tank said, back up towards him. Only one stumble. <br><br>Okay, maybe two. <br><br>But survival had happened, her powers had happened, and she wasn’t feeling the least bit addicted to using them. Right? Wasn’t that how she felt? <br><br>Sophie was leaning against a nearby tree. Exhaustion had taken her breath as well. If they were going to continue to practice their talents, they were going to have to build up a tolerance to them, obviously. Like any other muscle, the girls were gonna need the exercise. <br><br>Curious, however, Lesniya crept out in front of Soph, towards the corpses of the four rats they had destroyed. She was slow-going. As if she was expecting the lifeless beast to inhale quickly and raise from the dead yet again. Her hand even reached out, glowing softly with unconscious power, ready to strike. <br><br>“Shit…shit…<em>shit</em>… Is it… Are we…??” She called out her half-questions as she bit her lower lip. One booted toe reached forward, crusted in slime and shmear, kicking the tail of one of the rats. As soon as it made contact, she jumped back with a soft screech. “<strong>IT MOVED</strong>. IT MOVED….”<br><br>“Wait…”<br><br>“No… fully dead.” Another blatant kick. <br><br>Her tell-tale hair was tossed over her shoulder as she looked back at Cerias and Sophie. “So now what?”<br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Valace</strong> on <strong>07-10-2019, 21:54:40</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				<div class="floatright">(http://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.roosterteeth.com/uploads/images/54063e01-6933-4e38-b195-d0fc28595a06/md/2181220-1448930942333-Warrior_Karsten_Face.jpg)</div>Though the urge was all but impossible to deny, Cerias somehow managed to not bring his fist to his mouth and start chewing on his knuckle in frustration. That was after he closed his mouth from the gaping shock of seeing the priestess throw off a spell that shouldn’t have been granted to her by the gods for levels yet in the first place. If it hadn’t been for the clear exhaustion on both the young women’s faces he’d have been near certain by now that they had faked their troubles just to get some easily fooled schmuck out here to do their work for them.<br><br>But that kind of shambling that looked more like zombies with severe arthritis was all too common among mages, wizards, warlocks and priests who’d for one reason or other exhausted all they had until their souls were leaking out of their ears. Trembling of limbs and muscles that were as firm in their commitment to stay upright as slimes were in keeping one solid shape, was an all too obvious sign he didn’t think was faked. Yet somehow, they had managed spells far beyond them, and despite going against virtually every advice he’d give, somehow ended up slaying the enemy with extreme prejudice. The evidence of it still assaulting his nostrils, along with the smell of fetid rot already in abundance, with equal prejudice.<br><br>Taking a deep breath he turned towards the girls, wrestling the annoyance of having had his advice so completely ignored, and them still succeeding in their task, and still not having a clue as to whether he should complement them for actually doing what they’d set out to do, or remark on their utter inability to follow his advice.<br><br>Whatever he was about to say vanished however as he watched the redhead slowly creep forward to inspect their kills. He had to give her some props for not rushing ahead shouting about loot like most of the idiots out there were want to do. In fact she was even prudent enough to double check the bodies to make sure they were as dead as they smelled. Normally something the tank took on but…a brief flash of white teeth broke through the eternal cloud covering his face in a quick hint of a smile as her body seemed to rebound back as if struck by a bolt of lightning and she made a sound as if some ambitious lout had decided to pinch her delectable rear.<br><br>He quickly schooled his features back to a neutral scowl, not difficult as that was its default position, as she turned around towards them.<br><br>“Now,” he nodded towards the mangled bodies lying around in various states of frozen, burned and crushed furry piles of stinking flesh, “I suggest you grab what you came here for. I would hate to see your valiant efforts wasted.”<br><br>Though he felt the need to get utterly wasted himself from just having been in the vicinity.<br><br>“Meanwhile, as you at least attempted to follow my advice. I’ll hold up my end of the bargain.”<br><br>His dark eyebrows narrowed and a look of distaste fluttered weakly over his face before dying of starvation where the only sign of its life was a slight tug at the corner of his mouth as he turned his head over towards the cave a hundred feet or so away. Even from this distance the mouth of the cavern held a foreboding air with shadows so thick with putrid life that it held a hunger all of its own.<br><br>Around the edges a green and yellow mist hovered in tattered wisps and from deep inside came an endless blend of mad scratching and chittering enhanced by the natural acoustics so that it was easy to think it was giant molars grinding the bodies of skeletal adventurers to dust. All in all it was like a thousand other dank caves out there and he knew the shit he’d get on his boots merely from walking in would pose far greater danger to his comfort than anything that hid inside.<br><br>In the end he drew a deep breath of what, despite the pungency of burning rat fur and the delightful fragrance of smoldering rat brains, would still be fresher air than whatever was inside, and stomped off towards the caves with steps that sent cascades of rotten mud the consistency of putrid gravy flying in all directions, muttering under his breath. While he had cautioned the ladies to approach carefully lest they be swarmed again, he had little need to fear that for himself. If they even noticed him at all it would be when he stepped on them and that would only end badly for the part in the equation covered in furs, squeaking as their spines were crushed into a paste.<br><br>He had a light grip on the hilt of his sword, using it as a weak torch as he stepped inside the mouth of the cave looking around as he felt the rank mist caress his cheek with its greenish tendrils, smelling like Nagrel, the god of disease had burped in his direction after a particularly feisty meal. Groups of half molted cadavers with yellowish bone pipes leaking rotten marrow the color of pus erupted from the flesh, were surrounded by small groups of rats in all sizes clustered around the bases of stalagmites that reached towards the roof as if the floor of the cavern itself tried to escape. From the roof hung stalactites that where short and stumped, as if regretting ever getting closer to the floor running with excrement and other unidentifiable muck.<br><br>Over in a far corner of the cave was a giant pile of refuse made up of scrap, bones and bodies, some of who still moved around. The mound seeped half congealed blood, pus and rotten meat that dripped down its sides like sap from the tree of death. The sounds of chittering, scrambling and squawking, rats had intensified to a horrendous cacophony as they echoed between the walls of the cavern, joining those of countless generations of rats until it became an almost physical force that clawed and scratched at his mind. Even for a seasoned adventurer it could be difficult to resist such effects and it was through sheer brute will that he had tuned it out. <br><br>As such it took him a moment to realize that there was something on top of the pile. The ice blue light cast a brittle shine over the area but it was enough to recognize the creature for what it was. A massively bloated being half the size of a horse laying on its side, a dozen smaller form wriggling against it. Feeding, he then saw as he stepped further into the cave, on whatever ungodly brew the rat queen might have in her teats.<br><br>“Best get this shit show over with.”<br><br>Cerias grunted, still trying vainly to breathe only through his mouth but even so able to taste the foul odor and feel it coat his tongue. Not paying any of the other critters any attention he stomped right up to the ruler of the mischief, clamped his leather-covered fist down on her tail, crushing boils in his tight grip until he felt the pus ooze between his fingers as he brazed his boots against the slippery floor and gave it a great heave.<br><br>A warbled shriek tore through the cave, ululating along the walls like a thousand nails being dragged over a chalkboard covered in blood and a dozen half naked pups rolled off in all directions with some being squished under the enormous bulk of their mother as he started to drag her off towards the entrance to the den.<br><br>Despite the hideous alarm going off, the only rats responding to their monarch’s desperate cries were the ones he stomped right through on his way out. Here and there he doled out a disdainful kick, sending a rotten back of meat and bones crashing into a wall, stalagmite or other rat while the queen herself snapped after him with teeth the length of daggers dripping saliva so tainted it might as well be venom. She never got close, somehow always missing him by inches as she bumped along in his wake.<br><br>A group of the larger rats charged from the shadows as if summoned by some fetid god and charged headlong at him and he swept out with his blade, grimacing as he imagined having to clean the magical blade from the gory remains but not having the patience to kill them one by one. Just a few seconds later he walked out into the light again, feeling the oppressive stench ease somewhat as a gust of fresh air swept in like a blessing from the gods, letting him draw a breath of air that tasted as clean as the pussy of the virgin goddess Amanela. Not a single rat had followed him out of the cave.<br><br>The Rat Queen, somehow he knew her name was Morgoth the Pungent, cast her snout his way and a green, near gaseous spray, shot towards his face. This too somehow missed him as he promptly started to drag her hissing, sputtering and squirming through the muck towards the girls. Every one of her taloned paws scratched in a panicked frenzy against the ground until he snapped an arm behind him and backhanded her hard enough she shook her head in half a daze for a few seconds while he took her the last few steps necessary to reach Sophie and Les.<br><br>An expression of distaste was etched on his face now and his grey eyes were hard as he dumped the giant rat before the two young adventurers, poking her carefully a few times with the tip of his blade so that she would stay focused on him while at the same time not accidentally finishing her.<br><br>“Twack her a time or two if you please,” he directed his disheveled companions, his voice hoarse as he fought the urge to clean his throat from what he’d breathed in “so the gods give you credit for the kill. Then I’ll end her and you can grab whatever she leaves behind.”<br>
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			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Beautiful Poison</strong> on <strong>26-11-2019, 04:59:17</strong>
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				<div class="floatright">(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/db/e9/cf/dbe9cf5fe0e93ceb0b2c4707e6679664--character-portraits-character-ideas.jpg)</div><div class="floatleft">(http://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.roosterteeth.com/uploads/images/54063e01-6933-4e38-b195-d0fc28595a06/md/2181220-1448930942333-Warrior_Karsten_Face.jpg)</div><div class="floatright">(https://mfiles.alphacoders.com/402/402340.jpg)</div>&nbsp; That had to be, without a fucking doubt, the most disgusting display of excessiveness Sophie had ever witnessed… and probably anyone she knew had witnessed, for that matter. To top it all off, he had made it look so easy it was practically criminal. They had worked so hard, worn themselves flat out and honestly she would probably see rats and eels in her nightmares for years to follow. <br><br>It was a combination of shock and nausea mingled with barely contained annoyance that stalled out her brain, leaving her to just stare blankly at the warrior after he had made his request. <br><br>“You mean it’s… still alive?” She gasped, utterly repulsed. <br><br>By the looks of it, the queen was unconscious and hanging on by a mere sliver of life. <br><br>“Okay…” She remarked skeptically, her violet eyes flicking to Les as if she thought this was just as stupid of an idea as she did. By the looks of it, it seemed like it. <br><br>Tentatively, she edged over to the pile of gore and filth that was somehow, miraculously still breathing… god, she hoped it was breath and not like, filled to bursting with maggots or some other vile shit. <br><br>She kicked it and backed away. Nothing happened and she found herself looking skeptically at her redheaded partner with a lofted eyebrow. <br><br>“I’m not so sure about this…”<br><br>Sophie’s eyes flicked to Less, who was bent at the waist, her hands on her knees, trying valiantly not to throw up. Her skin was so pale it could’ve been translucent as she surveyed the scene through mussed red tangles of curls. That small shrugging movement, conveying to her partner in crime silently that while she was highly skeptical, it couldn’t hurt to at least poke the beast a bit. They might as well right? What did they have to lose-<br><br>A tight cough and gag kept what tiny amount was in Lesniya’s stomach from creeping up. <br><br>Gods, but the stench was revolting. How did he just walk around like it was nothing?? Straightening a little, burping slightly and holding her stomach, Les watched Soph edge tentatively forward and kick it before doing much the same as the redhead did moments ago and jump back from the body. <br><br>“Do the…” She waved her hand again, making a sprinkling motion, trying to convey what she thought would be appropriate for “bursts of flaming fireworks of death” without using too much of her breath or voice. “….again. Like this.”<br><br>Edging closer to Cerias, but trying to make it look like she was just getting a better vantage point, Les reached out her right palm and slowly let the power slip down to her fingers tips. There, it made an ice dagger. Flicking her darkened gaze back up, making sure he was watching and ready with a shield, she poked the dagger into the queen’s ugly hide.<br><br>Wondering what the redhead was up to, Cerias merely followed her with a raised eyebrow, casually sidestepping a snarling lunge from the queen of unhappy scents. They should have some mana back so he wasn't all that surprised as her hand started glowing faintly. The dagger had him purse his lips and want to shake his head but at least it was a step up from the wayward fence-posts the girls had used previously. <br><br>Thought it had taken a moment for the girls to catch on, they finally did what they could to poke and prod, there was little else Cerias could call the haphazard stabs and kicks they aimed the way of the giant rat sow, at least they didn’t balk from it the way some still wet behind the ears adventurers did when it came to getting close to the more…repulsive opportunities for loot. He’d long ago learned to not be all that squeamish, though he had to admit it had been quite some time since he had run into something quite as stomach-roilingly disgusting as this. <br><br>With the enthusiasm the girls threw themselves into wailing on the bloated ball of plague boiled fury, he wondered if they might have some fairly shallowly buried issues to vent with the thing. He could really only applaud their dedication and feel a small shiver crawl down his spine despite his far higher experience of being at the ends of that kind of wrath. But there was also an enticing fire in them that drew his eyes. He couldn’t deny the way their movements had their curves shift and bounce and the lively fire in their eyes were alluring in a way that made his mouth drier.<br><br>Luckily the moment ended as, with a final, hateful, screech, the queen of pus and half-melted boils finally succumbed to her wounds with a final lunge his way before sinking down in a bleeding, broken mess, her limbs twitching a few times before finally growing still.<br>He couldn’t help but let a small smile break through his frown like a stray ray of sunlight a perpetual cloud covered sky at the sight of their faces as the riches of loot became apparent to them. It was a moment of sunshine over a ragged landscape, making the otherwise dull flowers and mountains gleam in its presence. <br><br>Letting them go at it, enjoying their simple pleasure of the moment with them as he recalled his own first time hearing that heavenly tingle of coin pour into his purse. It wasn’t a whole lot as he measured things, but for anyone as new as they were, it would seem a small fortune. Or at least perhaps make it worth the pain and odor getting it.<br><br>“Finally…” Sophie murmured, flicking bits of dead rat fur from her sword. “I’ll get the tail.” <br><br>It took some time for her to slice the giant bald wormlike appendage off of the queen’s rump, the sword was quite dull after all. But after some swearing and complaining it finally broke free with a grizzly popping of bones. <br><br>No sooner had tail been parted from rat than the giant creature’s body just simply vanished, leaving the raven headed girl to look around utterly perplexed. There, sitting in the middle of the indention her carcass had made was a small stack of copper coins with a few silvery ones gleaming up at them merrily. That would have been distracting and welcomed enough had it been the only thing they had found, but sitting beside the metal coins were two objects that were very obviously not there before. <br><br>The first was a long crooked branch whose bark had long since been worn away. It looked like a hand me down walking stick that a whole generation of grandmothers had passed back and forth. What almost looked like gnarled old bony fingers at one end appeared to be clutching a small cracked crystal that was the ugliest shade of bright orange, gleaming dully in the afternoon light. <br><br>Next to it was a bundle of embroidered fabric. It sounds a lot fancier than it really was as the pattern was a repulsive floral print giving the strong impression that someone had skinned a particularly tacky old couch which once belonged in a mental institution for the blind. Several dark splotches stained the aging patched velvet. <br><br>The girls exchanged skeptical glances as Sophia squatted down to examine them further. She had no idea where they came from as they didn’t appear to have rat guts or any of the mud staining their surfaces. She prodded the staff with the severed rat tail grasped in her hand. Nothing happened. <br><br>Setting the dismembered appendage down beside her, she prodded the bundle of fugly cloth. Again, nothing happened. Where the fuck did these things come from?<br><br>Well, the details didn’t seem to matter as the reluctant priest grasped the middle of the staff and pulled. What the… <br><br>As if held by some sort of glue or spell or something, the stupid stick wouldn’t budge an inch. The same happened with the cloth. She tried with both hands but nothing shifted. <br><br>“Les? What about you?” She asked with a grunt after having tried to deadlift the staff with both hands. The red-haired portion of the pair squatted down right next to her, assuming the same stance and trying the exact same lifting routine. <br><br>Nada. <br><br>An incredulous look cross Lesniya’s face. “I don’t understand…” She muttered out before kneeling back down next to the staff and fabric, both of which had clearly seen better days. Her hands pushed into the fabric - which had barely any give - and then went back to the staff. “It’s not stuck on anything…” she said, a bit louder. Her fingertips traced over the gnarled head and stuck-on crystal, pressing and prodding before she wrapped both hands around the shaft and stroked down its length. “Is there like a button or something?” She looked up at Soph, her palms gliding over the end of the staff, twisting, then moving back up it in the same round-gripping fashion. She even split her fists, gliding back and forth in separate motions around the would-be weapon, looking for some sort of indent or trigger mechanism to release it from whatever had a hold on it. <br><br>He was torn from his ruminations by cursing and grunting and when he looked over to them he could barely hold from barking out a rowdy laugh. But disbelief and enervation won over the brief gleam of mirth and he sighed, smacking his gloved palm against his face and dragging it down, only a second later remembering what else that hand had touched only moments later and his mouth twisted in disgust.<br><br>Scraping off the flakes of dirt and mud as well he could leaned down and thumped the closest girl on the head, clearing his throat at the same time. <br><br>“What are you girls doing? Yanking on the loot. Don't you girls know how the real world works at all?”<br><br>It only took a glance for him to find out that, indeed, they somehow didn’t. <br><br>“Come on! This is adventuring 101, first day of ‘kill things steal their stuff’ school!”<br><br>Shaking his head enough to make his thick brown hair flow in the air behind him so that the sun picked up and shone in the silver hairs strewn into it he put his hands into his pocket and yanked it out with a frustrated little growl in the back of his throat. Reaching out he grasped the red head’s hand putting two dice in it. Then let her go and did the same with the brunette. <br><br>“Dice! You roll for it! Everyone knows you…”<br><br>Another sigh and he’d almost managed to bring his exasperations back under control. <br><br>“Just…just declare if you want the item or need it and roll ...then, if you roll the highest you can take it. Alright?”<br><br>“Huh?” Sophie said, looking down at her palm. None of this shit made any sense. <br><br>The girls would find a pair of ten sided dice looked up at the bleakly. They were white and slightly opaque, chipped around the edges and some of the numbers were a little faded. One pair was zero through nine, the other was zero through ninety. <br><br>“This seems stupid. I mean aren’t they the same thing? Don’t we <em>both</em> need the staff?” <br><br>No sooner had the word “need” come out of her lips than Sophia saw her dice glow blue. They felt warm to the touch. <br><br>“W… want?” <br><br>She said a little hesitantly and sure enough, the dice changed to a soft green light. <br><br>“Fucking weird…” <br><br>Clearly they were completely clueless about how the real world worked. <br><br>“Well, then I, uh, will roll need on the staff.” The words sounded awkward but there was no mistaking the sound of excitement building in her voice. <br><br>“That’s a <em>mage</em> staff. You can’t use it. How do you... “<br><br>Cerias sighed, and went to pinch the bridge of his nose only to remember at the last second that his gloves were exceptionally dirty. <br><br>“All you have to do is read the tag to figure that out.” <br><br>The exasperation in his tone was palpable. <br><br>They hadn’t noticed it before but carved into the end of the staff, just above the tip, was a tiny tag, filled with stats: <br><br><span class="bbc_u"><span style="font-size: 10pt;" class="bbc_size"><strong>Staff of Insignificant Consequence</strong></span></span><br><strong>Class: Mage<br>ATK: 2<br>INT: 4<br>WSD: 2<br>Effect: Provides slight damage bonus to fire spells.</strong><br><br>Quickly they checked the fabric and found a similar tag, one that was sewn into the lining of the grotesquely patterned cloth.&nbsp; <br><br><span class="bbc_u"><span style="font-size: 10pt;" class="bbc_size"><strong>Cloak of Mediocre Potential</strong></span></span><br><strong>Class: Caster<br>ATK: 2<br>INT: 3<br>WSD: 4<br>Effect: Slightly reduces casting time of some spells.</strong> <br><em>Wench wash on gentle. Line dry only.</em><br><br>By this time, Lesniya had plumped her round ass down into the oddly clean dirt next to the loot that refused to move. She crossed her legs and held the dice in her outstretched palm. With her other hand, she pointed to her dark-haired companion. “So you should roll for the...cloak. Maybe we can… wash it… And I’ll roll for the staff.” <br><br>Glancing back at Cerias, making sure she didn’t hear the frustrating man tell her they were doing something wrong <em>AGAIN</em>, she looked back at the dice and then up to Soph. Shrugging - because at this point, what else did they have to lose - she stretched her dice-holding hand out to the side. Less than an hour ago, she was shooting ice out of her fingertips. Rolling dice for a weapon wasn’t so disbelievable at this point. <br><br>“I roll need on the Staff of Insignificant Consequence.” She said out loud. The dice glowed in her palm and with eyes wide open, she tilted her palm, letting them roll out and onto the ground. The dice bounced for what seemed like an eternity before slowing coming to a halt. Pushing up onto all fours so she could stretch forward and see the numbers that appeared on top of the dice, she read out loud. “Eight… and 60.” Tilting her head back up to look at Soph, Lesniya sat back on her heels. “I got 68. Your turn.” <br><br>Sophie had watched as Les tossed her dice but no sooner had the six and eight of her friend been rolled than she felt her palm buzzing. The little objects trembled angrily in her palm as if they too wanted a turn but she wasn’t going to even be able to use the staff anyway, she thought as her eyes flashed to the cloak gloomily. <br><br>“Uhh, I guess I’ll roll want, then. These seems stupid.” <br><br>With a dejected sigh she threw the little dice along the ground. They bounced and danced until landing squarely on double zeroes and a 1.<br><br>“Greeeeat.” She sighed, snatching them back up, feeling her enthusiasm deflating by the minute.<br><br>Les leaned forward and took the staff into her hands, testing the weight of it and running her thumbs over the age worn wood.<br><br>“I guess that leaves me rolling need on the fugly coat thingy.” She conceded feeling the dice shudder in her hand and glow blue again. <br><br>“Twenty one, it looks like.” she stated snatching them back up as she looked to the redhead, who shrugged and said. “Can I pass?” <br><br>As it would seem, yes, in fact, you could as the cloaks reluctant new owner was able to lift the bundle off the ground and shake it open. It could have been her imagination but Sophia could have sworn there was a cloud of cat hair billowing into the wind. That was, as it turned out, dust. The smell was so much like that of her grandmother's house she almost picked up the fragrance of cooking sherry that the matron usually had on her breath. It had been the only way she could sneak drinking past Soph’s father.<br><br>The inside lining was a pale milky blue and much to her delight, found she could turn the cloak inside out and it didn’t look half bad. <br><br>“I guess… is that everything?” She asked Cerias as the girls looked up at him curiously and more than a little hopeful. The pairs desire to be finished with the day was all but scribbled across their foreheads. <br><br><br><br>
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				Title: <strong>Re: SideQuest - A Story of High Fantasy and Low Standards </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Valace</strong> on <strong>29-01-2020, 15:45:16</strong>
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				<div class="floatright">(http://s3.amazonaws.com/cdn.roosterteeth.com/uploads/images/54063e01-6933-4e38-b195-d0fc28595a06/md/2181220-1448930942333-Warrior_Karsten_Face.jpg)</div>The urge to make up something more for the girls to do welled up like bile in a princess forced to tongue kiss the pus-bloated rat queen, as he saw their hopeful faces looking at him as if they were a pair of school girls hoping to be let out of the murky depths of the dusty studies they’d been locked in since last winter. For a few long moments his eyes passed between them, a dead pan look on his stark face as if he didn’t know how to break the horrible news to the pair that they weren’t done yet. <br><br>But finally he relented and shook his head. <br><br>“For now at least.”<br>&nbsp;<br>Another small gust of wind carried the smell of rotting carcass and fetid shit upon its wings to his waiting nostrils, leaving them hunkering down in reproachful horror. <br><br>“Let’s get out of here before the stench clings to us tighter than a noble to his pride.”<br><br>He grunted as his discolored sword caught his gaze and pulled it away from the waiting ladies. Gore clung to the seething blade like flies to a long dead carcass, and not for the first time he wished he’d gotten the Searing Fire enchantment for it instead of the Dead-Winter Frost one. With every drop of blood and shit, every chuck of innards or lung, kidney or spleen, freezing to the blade like the tongue of an inquisitive child to a metal gate, it could be hellishly difficult to get clean enough to put back in its scabbard. Somehow it always came away sparky and gleaming from there. But he had to get it in there first. <br><br>“Fucking death-gunk getting everywhere. Gonna need to be scrubbed down to my bones and a keg of beer just to forget about it.”<br><br>A look of irritation fluttered over his face and made his eyebrows rustle. He hadn’t actually planned drawing the blade at all. Technically there hadn’t truly been a need for it beyond showing off and of course now he paid the price for that moment of insensible display of…he couldn’t honestly call it heroism since there had been nothing heroic and nothing dangerous at all about the situation, but the idiot urge to showboat to the two women made him want to smack his face with the stained glove in sheer spite of his own failings. Or if not that, then at least to chase away that feeling of satisfaction gnawing along his spine as he saw them being successful in their endeavor despite their struggle up to this point. <br><br>Worse than that was the gust of pride that threatened to make the barely smoldering log of his interest in helping others catch fire again. He could feel the tiniest flame flicker up the side of it and as he walked by one of the dead trees he swung his sword broadside against the trunk with perhaps a bit more force than was strictly required. It landed with a sharp crack and dead rat shrapnel flew in every direction, some pelting against his chest and cheeks, other filling the air around him like buzzing insects fleeing the coming rain.<br><br>At least the sword slid happily into its sheathe again and it settled there with a satisfied hiss and a small wave of mist. Looking briefly over his shoulder as he set off back towards the village the girls skulked once more into his mind like a pair of night goblins about to steal chickens from a farm. <br><br>Thinking back over the fight he had to admit they hadn’t been absolutely terrible. True, they hadn’t listen to more than about a tenth, okay maybe a fifth, of what he had said, and they had promptly started to improvise in ways that made his ass tighten up until he would need a crowbar to be able to take a shit….but they had survived. If somewhat worse for wear. <br><br>&nbsp;“You did….”<br><br>Belatedly he realized he hadn’t actually given anyone any praise since he mistakenly thought a mage had conjured food for everyone, only to find out he’d used the wrong spell, and now he didn’t really know how to finish the sentence. Good? It hadn’t been impressive exactly. Other than their determination. That, they had enough to bend a troupe of imperial knights over their own horses and spank them with their own swords. Okay? They had done their quest, sort of. Though stumbling their way through it like a blind moose drunk on fermented apples through a monastery’s garden, they had completed it. <br><br>“…Adequate…”<br><br>He finished with a thoughtful grunt after a moment, his brow furrowing as he sought for anything good to say about their performance, and feeling a growing thread of irritation at how difficult he found it. They had done better than he thought after all. Though they had had him to instruct them. <br><br>As he considered how to continue they crested up the hill and the horrid stench vanished like trolls at the sight of soap. It wasn’t as if the mother of wind had decided to fart sunshine and roses in their direction, but by comparison the smell of sun bleached grass and baked dirt was heavenly.<br><br>“You got some guts, and more than the rat ones that are splattered all over your clothes by now.” <br><br>He continued with a dry snort as he started down the pathway that would eventually take them back to the village, and what there was of civilization out here.<br><br>“You even managed to cast some spells you really shouldn’t have.”<br><br>Tossing them a look over his shoulder he took in their gore- and mud-stained clothes, their hair either frazzled or caked to them by viscera or sweat, and the new loot they…he wanted to say proudly carried back, but that might have been taking their enthusiasm a tad too far if his reading of their disposition was anywhere close to correct. Not that he’d even been good at reading women. <br><br>“How did you even do that? I’m not an expert on magic, thankfully, but it shouldn’t be possible. Breaking the ascension of skill like that. But it did kill the rats so I guess you got the work done.”<br><br>It was as close as he got to any real compliments before his brow furrowed as another thought struck him. <br><br>“If barely. It definitely led to some problems for you since you don’t have the reserves to keep that kind of attacks up. You should have listened to me when I told you to keep track of your mana. Not to mention how you ran down to the beasts dark hair, I mean….”<br><br>Bit by bit Cerias went over the combat as the plains turned to farms and fields and the path turned into a road which soon ran into the cultivated forest that held the small village. He went over their tactics in placement and movement, how they could have drawn the rats back further and further, conserving their powers and wearing them out. That adventuring without a tank could be mitigated somewhat by crafty adventurers. They already had a healer, or should have one rather, and so they really ought to have been able to defeat the Queen of Pus and Pestilence on their own, had they only listened to him and channeled what skills they had suitably. <br><br>“Though there really is no substitute for a true and experienced tank.”<br><br>He finished as they rounded the road and broke through the cover of the heavy oaks to see the little town just a few hundred feet away. He might detest the quiet little newbie hole, but after the day he’d had it was good to see the tempting and alluring sight of the tavern down the path. A quiet relived sigh passed his lips and he turned around to look with a raised eyebrow at the girls for just about the first time since he started his lecture. Though he was sure he’d felt their eyes on him more than once during the journey.<br><br>“Well, were back. You’re welcome.”<br>
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