Castle Làidir (Polyamory and Sub/Dom): The Video Diary Room
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		<h2 id="linktree">Play-By-Post: Bondage, D/s, S&amp;M =&gt; Bondage: Human Small Groups =&gt; Topic started by: DiverseDesires on 20-10-2010, 15:18:18</h2>
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				Title: <strong>Castle Làidir (Polyamory and Sub/Dom): The Video Diary Room</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>DiverseDesires</strong> on <strong>20-10-2010, 15:18:18</strong>
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				<div align="center">(http://i830.photobucket.com/albums/zz222/DiverseDesires/castleheader.jpg)</div><br><br><br><br><div align="center"><strong><span style="font-size: 24pt;" class="bbc_size">The Video Diary Room</span></strong></div><br><div align="center"><em>See Here For Introduction and Back Ground Info (http://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=86017.0)</em></div><br><br><br><table class="bbc_table"><tbody><tr><td><br>(http://i830.photobucket.com/albums/zz222/DiverseDesires/libraryandvdiaryroom.jpg)</td><td>At the end of the long corridor, past the lounge, the men's snug and the girl's parlour, is the library and through a doorway in the far corner leading the sound-proofed video diary room.&nbsp; <br><br>Here every participant is shown how to use the camera to record their entries and it is reiterated that they must speak honestly and openly at least once every three days but preferably more often.&nbsp; The computer shows them on screen how they look as they are doing it and automatically sets the date and time, and they are told, sends the feed directly to the psychiatrist researchers.<br><br>What they do not know of course is that when Marcus goes to do his recordings he is doing no such thing - he logs into the system and uses his ability to watch back any entry he so wishes.&nbsp; So he will know their most private thoughts and their real reactions and can use this to his advantage.</td></tr></tbody></table>
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				Title: <strong>Re: Castle Làidir (Polyamory and Sub/Dom): The Video Diary Room</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Elina</strong> on <strong>19-01-2011, 01:29:49</strong>
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				<em>~Mila, after her first night (https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=86340.msg4146457#msg4146457) in the castle~</em><br><br>Mila quietly slipped into the video diary room, grateful that she hadn't run into anyone else in the halls.&nbsp; She had awoken early, although not as early as Mari and Nicci had planned to, and found that she was tense from all of the stress of the day before and the anticipation of what the new day would hold.&nbsp; &nbsp;After an hour of yoga on the floor of her room and a quick shower, she had dressed for the day in a pair of jeans and a blue sweater (http://www.strangefunkidz.com/images/content/155252.jpg).&nbsp; Her hair was pulled into a ponytail, and she wondered what the other women would wear, if she was too casual.&nbsp; <br><br>She wasn't sure if she was supposed to be in here yet, but she felt like talking about her nervousness would be better than holding it in, so she'd decided to try it out.&nbsp; Fumbling with the equipment, she turned it on like Miss Taylor had taught her and then sat down in the comfortable chair with the camera pointed at it.&nbsp; "Uh, I'm going to assume I did that right, and that it's okay that I'm in here."&nbsp; Her voice was hoarse, so she cleared her throat.&nbsp; "So, yesterday was kind of an adventure.&nbsp; The whole day kind of freaked me out a little, but I feel good about being here, like this is where I'm supposed to be.&nbsp; That's a good thing, right," she said with a nervous little laugh.<br><br>"It's hard, not knowing exactly how people feel about you.&nbsp; I mean, it's so obvious that the guys are all nuts about Nicci, and it's hard not to be jealous of that, you know?"&nbsp; She shook her head, adding, "I just said that as if someone's going to answer me back.&nbsp; Well, anyway, I'm not sure what's going to happen today.&nbsp; I already care about the people here, a lot more than I thought possible in the amount of time we've been here.&nbsp; I'm a little up in the air about Bo.&nbsp; I can't read him, he's kind of hot and cold with me.&nbsp; Until the kissing last night, I thought he didn't have eyes for anyone but Nicole.&nbsp; And I didn't think he liked me, but he was willing to let me kiss him."&nbsp; She shrugged a shoulder.&nbsp; "I think I like him.&nbsp; I <em>want</em> to like him... I don't know, I guess I need him to like me, too, and I don't know if he will, not like the others."&nbsp; Dear God, was she fighting tears?<br><br>She took a deep breath to compose herself.&nbsp; "I want this to work.&nbsp; Really badly.&nbsp; The others seem to think someone else might be joining us, and that scares me, too.&nbsp; I mean, what if it doesn't work?&nbsp; What if the new person leaves us like Vince did?&nbsp; Marcus called us a family yesterday, but I don't think we are yet.&nbsp; We're too unsure about things.&nbsp; I <em>hate</em> how tenuous things seem to be right now, like everything could just fall apart.&nbsp; I think I knew that this wouldn't be easy, but I hoped it wouldn't be this hard."<br><br>She glanced down at the watch on her wrist, an old Fossil with a leather band.&nbsp; "I should go to breakfast.&nbsp; I don't want anyone to see that I was already in here.&nbsp; Oh, and thank you to whoever provided our rooms and this castle for the experiment.&nbsp; My accommodations are lovely, and very comfortable.&nbsp; And it's obvious that you guys considered my taste when you furnished the room."&nbsp; <br><br>Standing, she moved over to turn the equipment off like Ms. Taylor had shown her.&nbsp; It was an hour early for breakfast, so she went to see if she could help out anywhere.<br><br>~<em>Continued here (https://elliquiy.com/forums/index.php?topic=86351.msg4149749#new)</em>~
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				Title: <strong>Re: Castle Làidir (Polyamory and Sub/Dom): The Video Diary Room</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>DiverseDesires</strong> on <strong>22-03-2011, 18:22:41</strong>
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				<em>~ Nicci - Day Two - First Diary Post ~</em><br><br>Nicci followed the instructions and then sat back, looking at the screen and the image of her on it. She had thought that unburdening herself, kinda using it as a journal, a diary would help her, but what she wanted to do was switch it off, go upstairs and write it all out, scribble and draw too the way she normally did.&nbsp; She smiled at herself, then her smile grew larger in response.&nbsp; It really was odd looking at yourself in this way.&nbsp; She was tempted to make faces, like a child, and be really silly and she rolled her eyes at herself which made her chuckle, "Ok......ok, I know, but this is a bit weird guys....." <br><br>"So....." she added after a moment, her voice dropping down a tone, "First impressions....."Well Vince leaving kinda freaked me out at first.."&nbsp; She still couldn't really say what she was thinking, it felt very artificial and really weird.<br><br>She took her eyes down so she was just looking at the desk and then at her hands in her lap, she knew she was supposed to be really baring her soul but it really wasn't something she could do that easily.&nbsp; <br><br>"Honestly...... the whole thing has been kinda scarey. I think mainly because I had already invested in it, fully, before I came........&nbsp; opened my heart, and made myself really think of it as an arranged marriage like you said.&nbsp; I know most of my life I have detached myself, played safe, I learned the hard way.......&nbsp; Well.........&nbsp; I'd thought it through before I came, I knew to make it work I had to start, from the very beginning really open, really connecting and feeling my own love grow from the very first.&nbsp; <br><br>Well..... it...... I must have been more successful than I thought because the kind of things I would normally find easy are so much more emotionally invested, and so much more scarey."<br><br>"I'm afraid..."<br><br>She swallowed, looking round, wishing there was a glass of water, her mouth going completely dry.&nbsp; "It's hard caring so much about what people think of you, I thought at first that Marcus didn't even like me that much at all, I mean he was polite, but his eyes were always so soft and so loving when he looked at the other girls, and feeling he didn't want me was so much harder than I thought it would be..... because I so much wanted him.... to want me.........."<br><br>She sat quietly for a moment, letting the painful feelings subside a little, "I'm pleased though," she said looking up, "That David is here, he's just so much more part of us all already. He's very... well." she smiled, "He's just lovely.." <br><br>Time to talk about Bo, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to, it almost felt disloyal talking about him when he wasn't there, "Bo is special, he cares too, but I don't think he does in the same way I do........."&nbsp; She frowned slightly, "I think in the outside world he would have judged me very harshly, more than David or Marcus would, but he also has so much to give, so much to find, I want to make it...... make it right for him......... " she realised she also kinda felt protective of him, she wanted to heal his wounds and bring him joyous love that healed his heart.&nbsp; <br><br>"This whole open thing, it makes the physical connection with them much stronger too, I mean they are all handsome and very sexy men, and sure in real life I'd flirt with them, and if I was introduced to them on the party scene they are definitely the kind of guy I am attracted to. Lord very much so...... but still the whole dynamic feels very different, I feel so vulnerable and so much more connected to them, so much more invested......"<br><br>As her voice became quieter she fell silent, her thoughts running on as her eyes unfocussed and her feelings came more into view..<br><br>It took a few moments before she lifted her eyes, "And the girls, well, I have longed all my life for a family, to feel that I belonged, no...... not just belonged... that someone cared for me, really cared.....&nbsp; it is one of the few things I envied the boys that joined up, they became part of something, always had someone at their back, someone who would help them fight.....&nbsp; &nbsp;They are both truly beautiful women and then men adore them already, I have even deeper hopes I suppose where they are concerned and it feels....... well it feels that we have started on the right path......."&nbsp; <br><br>She brought her feet up onto the edge of the chair and leaning back slightly clasped her knees, "The place is beautiful I think I fell in love on the boat, the island is... well it sort of speaks to one, I envy the man that owns all this, I can't believe he gave it up even for a moment, but for a whole year, well we&nbsp; are very lucky, I think it will be very hard to leave....."<br><br>The thought of leaving made her focus on her face on the screen again, focusing too on the very nature of the whole experiment, "For me, this is the crux of it all, the test for the rest of my life, I expect that is why it all means so much, it may help me make sense of all the shit that has happened to me&nbsp; already, and hopefully prove to me that I can be happy and find the kind of love I so really want." <br><br>"I'm kinda glad you can't talk back to me, "she grinned, "I mean I can imagine some of the things you guys would be saying right now, and yeah.... don't worry I know the score........&nbsp; "<br><br>"So........ so far so good, scary and wonderful at the same time, and tonight I think will be a big step for all of us. I'm glad we are going to go ahead with it though, I was starting to worry people would start paring off and it would be harder after that to come together as a group, if we begin the sexual relationship all together, it makes the whole thing more possible somehow."<br><br>There wasn't really any point in trying to say goodbye, and she didn't want to say anymore, it was really tiring she realised, letting go so much, so she leaned forwards and snapped the connection off, standing up and stretching.&nbsp; She wondered it it would get any easier, she was sure it would, hopefully a lot of things would get easier, she thought smiling as she left the room.
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				Title: <strong>Re: Castle Làidir (Polyamory and Sub/Dom): The Video Diary Room</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Phobetor</strong> on <strong>25-03-2011, 05:25:28</strong>
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				<span style="font-family: georgia;" class="bbc_font"><em>~ Marisol -- Day Two -- First Diary ~</em><br><br>"I'll be completely honest when I tell you...I kind of don't want to do this," Marisol said as she spoke into the camera. She had been having such a great time with Marcus and Mila when the thought of the Diary Room had spurred her into action and she had found herself walking down the hallway. And while a part of her did NOT want to do this, she knew that it was not only necessary for the Researchers...it was necessary for her. She had entered and shut the door and had done everything that was required to get the video started and now she was sitting there...and she was at a loss for what to say.<br><br>Brushing her hair behind her shoulder, Marisol looked at the camera&nbsp; -- at herself, really -- and said quietly, "I don't think I can do this." She went to stand up and paused for a moment, thinking of Mila...Nicci...and the boys. It wasn't for her she had to do this...but for them. Each of them in a way were looking for the same thing and if she turned out to not be strong enough to do the Experiment...what then? What would happen to Mila? Would she have to go back to a family who shunned her? What about Nicci? Would she be alone, trying to find her place in the world? The decision to do this was not just for her...it was for what the Experiment stood for.<br><br>Mari slowly sat back down again and ran her tongue along her lower lip, saying in a quiet tone, "I think...I'm a little over my head here." She looked away, at anywhere but the camera recording her and felt a sense of fear clutch her heart. "See, I want this...<em>so bad</em> that I feel like I'm going to ruin it." She looked down at her hands, smoothing her hands up and down her jeans as she admitted quietly, "I already ruined it with Bo."<br><br>A slight frown crossed over her features. She hadn't meant to start off with Bo...but he was the one in her thoughts. "I don't think he likes me, you know? He...He's already in love with Nicci. And I feel...I don't think it's right for me to impose on that." Marisol shrugged slightly as she leaned back in the seat, looking at the camera, seeing the sad expression on her face and letting out an uncomfortable chuckle, "It's not like he HAS to like me. Sometimes in a Poly family...there's just two individuals who are not as attracted to one another as the others. I think that'll be okay...right? I hope so." Her eyes grew a bit distant as she thought of the brief kiss she had shared with Bo, her voice a soft whisper, "I really thought he would like me though..."<br><br>She had to stop thinking about Bo! "David," She suddenly blurted out, thankful that she was alone in the Diary Room and not in the living room or somewhere where all of them were around. That would have been embarrassing! With a smile she ran her fingers through her hair and felt herself relax. She could speak about him. "Poor David. I almost feel bad for him...I mean, he's jumping in on this at the tail end and we've already...experienced a lot. Well, not a lot but enough to form a slight bond. But he's handling himself well. I think...I think he'll be a bit more stable than Vince." A sad smile crossed her lips as she thought about Vince. "I liked Vince...it was sad to see him leave...but I think if it had to happen, then it was best to do it at the very beginning." She nodded a bit more confidently, "I think David was -- is a good alternate. I'm looking forward to getting to know him a bit more."<br><br>Marisol paused for a moment, and suddenly a soft smile crossed her lips. Marcus. The one man she was certain of! Her eyes grew a bit glassy and her voice was a soft sigh as she said softly, "Marcus. I think he's the only one I'm certain of. I think...our chemistry is..." She thought about the kiss and swallowed hard, feeling a tremor of awareness run down her body. She cleared her throat and murmured, her voice husky, "...Marcus is the one man I know wants me. And I'm pretty sure he knows I want him too. He's strong...and he's...I don't know. A leader. At least, he looks like a born leader to me. But he also has a soft side; a funny side." She closed her eyes and smiled softly, "I wonder what it's like to wake up in his arms..."<br><br>Shaking her head, Marisol felt...too exposed. Too open. She ran her fingers through her hair once more and said quickly, "It's not that I don't want to be here. I do. A lot. I just...I don't feel like I completely belong? I keep trying to reassure the girls and let them know that they are both wanted by the men and...I don't even know if <strong>I'm</strong> wanted. I feel like...we're on the show Survivor...and I'm going to get voted off the island." She grinned slightly but in her eyes, as she stared into the video, shone the truth of her statement. There was&nbsp; a brief moment of silence before Marisol felt her lips curve up into a fond smile, the affection in her tone obvious, "I already feel like Mila and Nicci are a part of my family. So...I'll do anything to make them feel safe. I'll put my feelings and my thoughts aside and focus on them. Because they need me more than I need me."<br><br>The last statement jarred her...and Marisol knew that was it. She couldn't speak anymore about her feelings. So after a quiet, "Bye..." She stood up and stopped the video, her chest feeling tight. She needed fresh air...needed to get out of the room.</span>
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				Title: <strong>Re: Castle Làidir (Polyamory and Sub/Dom): The Video Diary Room</strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Marikir</strong> on <strong>26-03-2011, 06:16:06</strong>
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				~ David&nbsp; -&nbsp; Day Two of the Experiment - First Diary entry ~<br><br>The recording starts on the face of David Hamilton as he activates the computer's diary recording function for the first time.&nbsp; The date and time stamp show that it was recorded on the second day of the experiment.&nbsp; He tilts his head to the side as he leans back, considering his own image before him.&nbsp; He gives a brief wave to the camera.<br><br>"Hey there.&nbsp; Well, apparently I'm supposed to do this thing as much as possible, if not daily.&nbsp; I guess it's so the researchers can review it later and try and figure out what's going on in my head as well as what's going on here."<br><br>He laughs and shrugs in a small motion.&nbsp; "I'm not sure what this will help with, but I'll do my best.&nbsp; I guess I'll turn off my verbal filter and just let go."<br><br>He settles back into the seat and glances to the side for a moment.&nbsp; He seems to be collecting his thoughts.&nbsp; "Well, day one for me was a kick in the pants.&nbsp; After last night's rush transport from the hotel to an early morning arrival here, I'm still not quite believing that I'm here.&nbsp; Or that I qualified for the experiment.&nbsp; I guess maybe there's something about me or my experiences that the researchers wanted.&nbsp; And I guess I should be glad that the former guy dropped out, but I get the feeling that his leaving threw the others for a loop."<br><br>His eyes unfocuses as he seems to think on something.&nbsp; "It makes me wonder just exactly how close they got in the day they had with each other...and if I'm always going to be the new guy."<br><br>He laughs briefly as he again focuses on his image.&nbsp; The angle of the camera gives the impression that he's looking down slightly, which he corrects sometimes by looking directly at the camera.&nbsp; "I know, it was only a day, but still, the five of them had at least sometime together to learn about each other.&nbsp; Hell, as it is, I've not really gotten a chance to talk to the others much.&nbsp; I mean, I spent the morning with the two other guys, Bo and Marcus, but we were focused on doing things and prepping for our time here.&nbsp; As to the women, I mean, I've run into Marisol and Nicci, but those conversations were primarily just...feeling each other out?&nbsp; Learning the basic information about them, trying to get a handle on them, that kind of thing."&nbsp; He laughed briefly.&nbsp; "Well, that, and more than a little flirting, to be honest.&nbsp; I haven't had the chance to talk to Mila yet, but maybe dinner will give me a chance to."<br><br>David chuckles again and leans closer to the camera.&nbsp; "You know, if I'm supposed to be completely open in this thing, let me just say this.&nbsp; Whoever picked the girls for this thing?&nbsp; Thank you, thank you, thank you.&nbsp; My god, they are so stunning.&nbsp; I have no complaints there."<br><br>He leans back again and a slightly wry smile appears on his face.&nbsp; "Now, that stated, the guys?&nbsp; Well, I don't have a handle on them too much yet.&nbsp; Bo seems...intense.&nbsp; There's something there.&nbsp; He's got this...aura about him that's a little intimidating, but I'm not sure if he's aware of it or not.&nbsp; But, he's very much a take charge kind of guy, I think.&nbsp; And Marcus is...well, he's older, so maybe he's the one that'll eventually take charge and all.&nbsp; Especially since he seems to be watching each of us closely.&nbsp; I'm not sure if he's not wanting to get too connected to the others, but he's definitely an observer."<br><br>David laughs briefly and looks at the camera with a curious eye.&nbsp; "You guys didn't plant someone in the experiment, did you?"<br><br>His eyes soften slightly, before he considers the camera again, this time a little more serious.&nbsp; "And that leads me to the thing that's probably on my mind most.&nbsp; This whole thing.&nbsp; I don't quite...well, to be honest, all of this seems pretty damn elaborate for a simple sociological experiment.&nbsp; I mean, a castle?&nbsp; And that stipend?"<br><br>David shakes his head.&nbsp; "Don't get me wrong, I'm not bothered by it, hell, I signed up for it...but it all seems a little much.&nbsp; This seems like someones pet project.&nbsp; And the others seem very, very, <em>very</em> dedicated to this polyamory idea.&nbsp; I'm pretty sure it's not just an experiment for them.&nbsp; They seem to be wanting this to be their life.&nbsp; Which is, well...intimidating.&nbsp; Because basically then, this is something of a tryout.&nbsp; And that's a little nerve wracking.&nbsp; Especially since I'm so new to the idea."<br><br>His eyes focus on the camera.&nbsp; "Look, if you're watching this soon after I make this recording, let me just say this.&nbsp; I'm not so sure I buy that this is a random experiment, but...I don't think it matters.&nbsp; If it is an experiment, then you can chalk my slight case of disbelief up to the whole 'too good to be true' fear.&nbsp; But, if it isn't, and this is a setup of some kind, then...well, I don't know how that'll make me feel.&nbsp; I want to believe that each of the others are being completely genuine.&nbsp; I hate lying, which, if you have a psych profile of me, you know."<br><br>David laughs briefly, dispelling the sense of tension in his features.&nbsp; "Anyway, so far it's been fun.&nbsp; A little surprising, but fun none-the-less.&nbsp; I'm definitely in this for as long as you all will have me."<br><br>He waves again at the camera then glances down at the keyboard.<br><br>"Now, how do you turn this off, ah ther-"<br><br>The video ends.
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