Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises!
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		<h2 id="linktree">Play-By-Post: Light =&gt; Light: Exotic Small Groups =&gt; Topic started by: Dariusfallenstar on 25-11-2010, 07:37:57</h2>
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				Title: <strong>Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Dariusfallenstar</strong> on <strong>25-11-2010, 07:37:57</strong>
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				(5-person roleplay, currently closed to new players; always interested in discussing plot hooks, or having new superstars come in for a fun romp)<br><br>(http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRFLt4GzTAhpRfKNrDY9db-c0oLwQYlF7lOVvb2G17_Kq_NuBTR)<br><br>The world of Aranth was a place of magical mystery and wonder; of massive trees that had never been touched by the will of men (though Elves, Dryads, Nymphs and any number of other ancient and forest-loving creature may very well have touched, caressed and, in the case of some Dryads, even mated with those trees – ahem, moving on). Sprawling cities dominated the landscape on each continent with dotting hamlets, thorps, and villages occupying the space between wherever was reasonable.<br><br>Unfortunately, the world of Aranth also had a dark past to go with its bright white current state – wars and strange races had left the place in turmoil for decades while tinkerers, magicians, warriors and everyone in between (yes, including Priests), tried to find some way to defeat the darkness. At last, of course, they did. But, in defeating the darkness they ensured a future of adventure and of heroism, of bravery….<br><br>And, in the case of the “ Horny Bastards of Mischief” - buffoonery and lechery. Ah, well, not everyone can be bold and brave, traipsing into now-ancient ruins to find a hidden sword or gem or magic book or what have you. <br><br>The capital trade city of the free world was Vritoom; a sprawling wheel of a city known for its open mindedness towards anyone who had money (and many who did not); drugs, slavery, information, forbidden spells, exotic herbs – anything and everything could be found somewhere in the vast place. Bordering a desert to the East, an ocean to the West, a Forest to the north, and rocky volcanic mountains to the South – all the races could find something to love in the place.<br><br>Which was precisely why Darius and Seka were there in the first place. They were recruiting. There’s only so much lechery and debauchery one can do without any funds, after all.<br><br>Seated at a round table with room for four more people, Darius Fallenstar called out eagerly, <strong>“Come one come all. The Horny Bastards of Mischief are recruiting and we want you!” </strong>He pointed at a dwarf who snorted and wandered off. Frowning, taking a quick quaff of watered down ale that tasted no better than horse piss, he added,<strong> “And we have maps! That’s right! Just what ever adventurer wants! We have maps to every ruin of great import within a three-hundred league radius! And…we’re willing to share! Evens!”</strong><br><br>In truth, the dashingly handsome Darius – long black silken hair, fetching sunset hued eyes, angular cheeks and silk clothes that hugged his muscular body like a second skin – wasn’t selling the world short. Maps *were* the key to wealth. Unfortunately, that led to people making copies, or selling unverified documents for a quick profit. Which…might be where Darius and Seka (wherever the hell that horny Neko was, probably groping some guard…but whatever) – got them in the first place. <br><br>No doubt at least one or two of them were valid though. Probably.<br><br>Flashing a bright, million-gold smile of clear-conscienced confidence, Darius leered at an ogre serving woman (hey, what’s wrong with free love?) and resumed his speech. <br><br>(http://t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRXhwvZFGem2A5He5bTTEECu1HxpmgNTh5GXuuZas08qU1qyJ0Z)
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Seka</strong> on <strong>25-11-2010, 08:14:51</strong>
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				It took a minute but eventually Seka wandered in as well. He had in fact <em>not</em> been groping any guards but rather buying supplies that he thought they might need for the road. Not that they cold afford much. This whole needing money thing was really a hassle. He was a handsome young man, much of his slim, tanned, and well toned body showing from the garb he wore that was typical to his clan; that being a red patterned loincloth and matching leggings, as well as several ornamentations. Oh, and weapons. The two knives at either side were pretty obvious but there were other, sneakier weapons too. His eyes were a deep, lush green and his hair the sort of blond and brown that can only come from extensive time under the sun. Perhaps the most surprising of all factors were the ears upon his head and the tail behind him, tawny brown in color and rare in most places, though you could see a few in this bustling city.<br><br>It was obvious to anyone with passing knowledge that he was one of the cats from the sand tribe out in the deserts, but that could lead to the question of what he was doing out here. Banished? Run away? On a mission? Few asked and fewer still received answers.<br><br>Despite the toughness of the race and indeed this particular example of it, Seka was grinning amiably as he entered the tavern. He was a friendly, happy-go-lucky guy which might explain how he ended up with Darius in the first place. For some reason, they just got along despite some of their more obvious differences in taste.<br><br>Moving to the table, the feline set a couple drinks down with a thumb and plopped in one of those chairs. "Stop calling us the Horny bastards of Mischief. That's why no one joins and we're still sitting here two out of five. They gotta know we're serious. I mean, ya know, serious about getting some money." He took a long sip of his drink and nodded to Darius. "See you gotta try something like this: Explorers of Ruins, Caverns, and Bodies! Join While ya still can and get a cut of the booty!"
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Dreamers Sand</strong> on <strong>25-11-2010, 09:54:04</strong>
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				Nerezza Vestan (http://fc02.deviantart.net/fs51/f/2009/296/e/2/e2b6d3c136967857e425dbce5c354f3f.jpg) was the kind of woman who hung around Vritoom on the fleeting occasions when work brought her there. Of course, work brought her all across the world, as Venus (as they called her) was a traveling Assassin of sorts. She was a killer for hire, or just killed the rude and wealthy, the pig-headed, and took their coin from them as if it were her own. And today of days, she had found her free travels bringing her to this tavern, upon where she would find a twist of fate awaiting her and all of her boredom. <br><br>Stepping into the room, she called immediate attention. She was hard to miss, hard to ignore even. Venus was a drow, standing 5'8- not including her heels which brought her almost to a clean six feet in height. She had skin like arsenic porcelain, forming a lean, killer-trained body. Easily mistaken by her love of silks, rich wears, accessories, and heels, she was a fighter by nature and by heart. And wickedness lay coiled in her soul like a piece of personal Hell and sin all wrapped up in a pretty package. Venus was a walking talking mind game with a piece of ass to go with it all.<br><br>Adorning a fine white silk gown over her body, draping from her halter choker of silver where it connected down to her mid-thighs, it left very little to the imagination. Of course, beneath it, one could see the sapphire jeweled white gold bra that had to have been custom smithed to fit such full, bountiful breasts, and a bikini piece that matched. She spoke of reaches in her body language, but if only people knew the story... Her wrists and biceps adorned bracelets and silvery rings, and her calves in a pair of heels that were cast of silver themselves. The outfit she wore had to have cost quite a few hundred gold to be custom made and fit to her. Her long brilliant red hair was tussled about in thick waves, though drawn together into a bun that leaked those rippling waves of silk down to the middle of her back if not just an inch or two higher. The click of her heels swore her entrance, and over her shoulder was a small bag of sorts that had her money in it- as well as a folding dagger.<br><br>As Venus stepped in, her brilliant orange eyes scanned the room and a wild, fierce grin formed upon her glossy lips the shade of the ripest red grapes. She had come just in time to overhear two men talking, or calling out for recruits. But she only chuckled, taking a seat alone at a table and crossing her long, dark legs. She called to one of the tavern maids then, asking for rum before diverting her attention around the room. Little known to anyone, Venus was accounting for everyone in the room, and pondering just how to get her jollies from this little tavern-trip.
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Shihong</strong> on <strong>26-11-2010, 05:32:14</strong>
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				<em>Hate.</em>&nbsp; It was an emotion Valdric experienced all too often, yet one that he could never quite understand.&nbsp; It was like an eel, writhing and black, slipping between his calloused fingers every time he attempted to grasp it, to control it and make it his own.&nbsp; He had long since accepted that such an ugly thing was beyond his control, perhaps beyond the control of any man.&nbsp; It seethed up from within at the most inopportune moments, thirsting, consuming, crashing in waves against the heart and demanding to be satiated with violence.&nbsp; Only with immense willpower could it be governed, however loosely.&nbsp; In those moments it could not be chained, but <em>directed</em>, and woe be unto any soul that stands in the path of the man dragged by the leash of that hound called Hate.<br><br>Valdric (http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/rcburner/Characters/VonFisher4.jpg) was just such a man, and his body had been built well enough to grip that leather lifeline without being shattered in the black beast's wake; wide shoulders, a broad chest that strained the buckles of his vest, legs planted as firmly as tree trunks, and thick arms made for grappling.&nbsp; He wore the dress of a military man of great rank, but of what army he had spawned there was no sign.&nbsp; The faded brass engravings on his blackened gauntlets spoke vaguely of elvish forges, but with a peculiarity or corruption that twisted the signs beyond recognition.&nbsp; A rounded helmet crowned with a spike and a ghastly white death-mask obscured most of his features, and both were utterly foreign and strange.&nbsp; <br><br>But Aranth was a world with many dark places, and strangers of unknown lands were no longer as uncommon as they had been in days long past.&nbsp; Vritoom drew all sorts, and most of them looked about as unfriendly as Valdric, if not more so.&nbsp; <br><br>The more he walked through its streets, the more he began to understand the source of this particular brand of hate.&nbsp; Like any city of sufficient size it had its filth, but it was not mere garbage that set his teeth on edge.&nbsp; Nor was it the decadence, the distribution of sex and drugs and slaves as common commodities.&nbsp; For these he felt some measure of distaste, but the vices of Man were many and only a fool blinded by naivety could possibly hope to curb them all.<br><br>No, it was something else.&nbsp; It was the way the architecture clashed from road to road, the way clay huts gave way to oblong brass structures engraved and embossed with color and gold, which in turn gave way to gabled rooftops coated with shingles, fused with marble structures replete with ornate columns, erected besides clusters of brilliantly painted tents and stalls, ad infinitum.&nbsp; Vritoom was like a magnet for cultures from all over the land, and most brought their respective cultures with them.&nbsp; It was a vast and populous melting pot at the center of every major trade route, devouring refugees and wanderers, integrating them into its growing bulk, constantly reinventing itself and evolving into a hodgepodge civilization all its own.<br><br>And it was for that very reason that a raw sickness had taken hold in the man's gut.&nbsp; But he was there with a purpose of great magnitude, and to abandon it for such petty reasons would be a heresy beyond measure.<br><br>So when he strode through the doors of that tavern he banished such thoughts from his mind.&nbsp; He did not know why had had chosen this particular establishment, nor did he know exactly what he was looking for.&nbsp; Fortunately--or unfortunately, depending on one's perspective--he was about to have his path laid out before him by the two unlikeliest people in the entire room.<br><br><em>"Explorers of Ruins, Caverns, and Bodies! Join While ya still can and get a cut of the booty!"</em><br><br>Valdric may as well have been an eager bloodhound the way his head snapped to attention.&nbsp; A six-and-a-half foot tall bloodhound with a mask that could only have been designed by someone who desperately hated children and wanted to go out of their way to scare the nine hells out of them at every opportunity.<br><br><strong>"You are explorers then?"</strong> he asked, placing both hands on the table with such force that it nearly shook the mugs clean off it.&nbsp; His voice was thick with both accent and urgency.&nbsp; Dark grey eyes squinted out of the darkness, and the way he was looking at them was dangerously like how a starved man might stare down a piece of raw meat. <strong> "Professionals?&nbsp; Versed in the ways of dungeoneering?"</strong>
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Silk</strong> on <strong>26-11-2010, 10:16:38</strong>
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				Ysena sheepishly wandered around the Tavern in her maids garb, sighing a little that she once again had to reduce herself down to a station far beneath her talent. The owner of the Tavern apparently knew how to get a good deal out of the traveling performers such as herself. To even get on stage for a cut of the profits, she had to agree to work as a maid prior as to come out with a larger share. For Ysena's art is one known to be particularly fickle, if she did not impress the crowd, her effort would be for naught.<br><br>As the Drow lady wandered in, Ysena took good note of her, being a half elf herself, but raised by her human mother, she did not have the same feud towards these people as her Elven kin. Even though the potent blood in her veins often brought people to the assumption that she was an elf. She always swore by that it was her ears. Not the half pointed that is expected from half-elves, but full majestic elven ears framed Ysena's face.<br><br>Moving forward to the Drow lady as the other maids appeared to be somewhat intimidated by her presence, Ysena didn't care for them anyway she just had a job to do. "My, your a pretty one eh" She smiled, taking her order of Rum, but as she was just delivering her charge, taking her money for the establishment. The Tavern owner hailed her back to the back rooms. "Geuss its time for my performance" She smiled under her breath as she moved to the back rooms to get changed into her dancing attire.
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Dariusfallenstar</strong> on <strong>26-11-2010, 12:04:12</strong>
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				When Seka ambled into the room, Darius’ face lit up brightly. There was something in the handsome man’s eyes that might have resembled love…but not lust. A brotherly sort of look that made the barrows of his infinite-night eyes glisten with almost sickly affection. At Seka’s words, Darius nodded and refined his call:<br><br><strong>“Explorers of your Caverns and Caves and of your Bodies! Join with us and we’ll give you booty!” </strong> With the last word he looked meaningfully at Seka. Darius certainly had no desire to share <span class="bbc_u"><strong>his</strong></span> booty.<br><br>He looked back at Seka hopefully, “Like that?” Darius wasn’t stupid by any means, he just…wasn’t a sales person per se. Turning his gaze from the anthro cat, he watched as <strong>Nerezza </strong>sauntered in, whistling hard. In a low voice, he leaned toward Seka and murmured, “A drow. Their kind are deadly and seriously scary. I don’t know how she’d fit in, but with a body like that…we could distract a dragon while we stole his balls. What do you say? Want me to go recruit her?”<br><br>As he waited for Seka’s reply he saw <strong>Mr. Penis Head Serious Man</strong> walk into the room, seething with all sorts of pent rage. For a moment, Darius thought the man had a case of the hemorrhoids or something, all shaking and fierce and introspective until the brick of a man walked over to them.<br><br><strong>“You are explorers then?”</strong> the man asked, placing both hands on the tables hard enough that Darius’ mug of awful ale sloshed everywhere. <br><br>Frowning up at the thingie-me-bobber-serious-looking-guy, Darius responded, “Look bud. We’re not explorers so much as feisty Jo-Bobs looking for friends to help us retrieve the low-lying fruit. You know, the shallow dungeons guarded by age-old monsters…and by age-old, I mean so old their teats sag to their ankles and they can’t move to swing their magic hammers while we steal their shit. You got me? Nothing quite as…serious business…as you seem to radiate.” <br><br>Pausing, Darius gestured to a chair. “Look, that is our “Maybe” chair. Have a seat. If you can have a good time with us, we’ll let you in. Otherwise, I’m afraid you might just be a little too dark and brooding. Besides, Seka’s looking for a boyfriend – and…well…even if I was gay, I wouldn’t try fiddling with your brisket to find your lemons, lemme tell you.”<br><br>Darius flashed the man a smile and looked over his shoulder. Music had started and, with it, the promise of a dance. He saw woman, beautiful – but in a different way the Nerezza, perhaps a <strong>half-elf</strong>, glance at the Drow and at the stage meaningfully. There was always room in the Horny Ba….er…Explorers of Bodies…for good dancers. <br><br>Excited to see what the woman was capable of, Darius leaned forward – not precisely ignoring the scary Valdric guy – and watched to see what would happen next (though he kept the Drow in the corner of his eye, just to be sure she didn’t leave before he could offer her a position, or two, or three).&nbsp; &nbsp; <br>
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Seka</strong> on <strong>26-11-2010, 13:45:31</strong>
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				The feline shook his head with a chuckle. “Better, yes but it could possibly use some work. Maybe if you didn't try so hard to-” He was interrupted by his partner's sudden outspoken admiration of the drow woman.<br><br>Seka's eyes followed the drow for a moment. She really was a looker, he could say that in confidence. But the way she moved, that sort of deadly grace.... besides the fact that those dark elf types didn't exactly put out wimps. “Hell with fitting in, I can't imagine why she'd join u. She looks a lot better at this kinda thing than we are, prolly.” He mused. “But hey if she dumb enough, I mean, uh, the gambling sort, maybe she'll take a chance on our little group. I say invite her. The worst that it could damage is your pride. And maybe your body if she takes offense, but hey, wounds heal.” He encouraged Darius as he sat back in his chair, ready to relax.<br><br>Only to be interrupted again, this time by a most peculiar man in a violent looking hat and a terribly ugly mask. Seka tried not to make a face but he wasn't certain he succeeded. His stunned silence was cut into by Darius' eloquent, well spoken, and embarrassing reply.&nbsp; The cat found his teeth clenching slightly as he gave Darius' calf a light kick. “I am <em>not</em> looking for a boyfriend.” He chided before grumbling. “Just maybe a little eye-candy, jeeze. Don't make me seem so shallow.” <br><br>That settled he turned to the man with his most pleasant, rather forced smile and spoke again in the sort of courteous polite tone you might expect from a secretary answering the door. “Please forgive my associate sir, he means well, really.” He offered, glancing to Darius only to see him now distracted by a dancing girl. “...At any rate, were you hear looking to join our band? 'cause if so, I'm not certain you meet all of the, uh, requirements.” He paused a moment and grinned. “Now if you were looking to <em>hire</em> us, then yes, we are indeed the dungeoneers you are looking for, provided your money spends well, of course.”
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Silk</strong> on <strong>26-11-2010, 13:52:38</strong>
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				As Ysena took to the stage, some recondnised her as the Maid who served them earlier, now out of the baggy, none too attractive work cloths, she was now in a refined black leggings that reached to her knees before they split into crossed laces the rest of the way, a Red frilled skirt complimenting the curves of her hips, with a matching top with cross frills over her chest, her midrift exposed. The costume hugged and complimented her features perfectly, with a thin golden tiara with a red rose finishing the look.<br><br>As the music began in a soft mellow fasion, Ysena's moves showed much of the grace of her elven blood, but each step radiated with the sense of confidence and purpose that humans were reknowned for. Each of her moves laced to gain the attention of people in the room. The music slowly begining to pick up and so did her steps. Showing her talent and grace, as she effortlessly caught four knives mid step, flipping them into the air and catching them again. <br><br>The Bartender called to the punters to raise their empty wooden tankards placed on their tables prior to the performance into the air as Ysena gauged all those that did as requested, throwing each knife one by one into random mugs, completing her dance with the last throw. Taking a bow as the Bartender spoke up once again. "Return the knife for a free refill!" Ysena waited sheepishly on stage in her bow, hoping they enjoyed the performance.
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Shihong</strong> on <strong>26-11-2010, 14:55:37</strong>
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				Valdric paused for a long moment, possibly taken aback, before nearly <em>slumping</em> into the nearest chair.&nbsp; His arms crossed out of habit, and a hand went briefly to his chin--or where his chin probably was beneath the mask--as if deliberating on something.&nbsp; The man's uniform creaked uncomfortably as he turned between Seka and Darius several times.&nbsp; The fact that he was squeaking like a bunch of mice seemed lost on him.<br><br><strong>"I am in search of people like yourself,"</strong> he said hesitantly, keenly aware that he was being scrutinized just as fiercely.&nbsp; <strong>"Though you are clearly not professionals, perhaps your paths still lie adjacent to my own.&nbsp; Tombs, crypts, moldering catacombs, places deep beneath the world.&nbsp; I seek those that would plumb those depths, though I do not seek personal wealth or glory.&nbsp; I am looking for items of a peculiar make.&nbsp; Artifacts, you might call them.&nbsp; If you do indeed plan to seek such places out, my share of gold and gems would naturally be divvied up amongst the rest of your band."</strong><br><br>The man brought his gauntlets up to the collar of his tunic and made a show of unclasping a row of buckles hidden beneath the fabric, and after several metallic clicks lifted both the helmet, the mask, and the black shroud from his head and shoulders and placed them carefully on the table in front of him.<br><br>Surprisingly enough, Valdric did not have glowing red eyes or blade-like fangs, nor did he seem liable eat small children or kick puppies or whatever it was that nasty monsters were supposed to do in their free time.&nbsp; In fact, he looked shockingly <em>normal</em>, if somewhat weathered.&nbsp; His jaw was set with an easy sort of determination, chiseled lines meeting at a strong chin and coated with morning stubble.&nbsp; He had a wide-lipped mouth that seemed perfect for smiling but clearly hadn't gotten much practice at it, an angular nose with just the slightest bump at the bridge, and slate gray eyes that seemed a bit less intimidating now that they weren't peering out from the eye holes of that damnable mask.&nbsp; If anything the man just seemed extraordinarily <em>tired</em>, and perhaps just slightly on edge.<br><br>He made to grasp Seka's hands between his own, staring earnestly at the other man.&nbsp; "If I must trade my body in order to follow at your side, then so be it.&nbsp; I know of such things, and am willing to go to any lengths to appease you if it will aid me in the task set before me."<br><br>If anyone was watching the scene from afar, now would likely be the point where they began laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation, or slowly backing away.
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Dreamers Sand</strong> on <strong>26-11-2010, 20:59:56</strong>
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				Venus <em>felt</em> the eyes upon her, and it played well into her preference of having everyone under tabs. She saw the distraction she served, and only broke her eyes from those men around the room when the Maid served her her rum and called her a <em>looker</em>. Though the Drow did not respond, she had a few things to be said and whipped up a mischievous grin that crooked across her glossed lips as the elvish human girl disappeared.<br><br><em>Elvish and human? She's apparently not elven raised, or she would've shown the hatred or at least come to make a move on attacking me. Good thing she didn't, I eat pretty little girls for breakfast.</em><br><br>As the girl came back out as a dancer, Venus quirked a fiery brow, smiling even more.<br><br><em>Casual and alluring, two sides every woman tends to pick one of, instead of flaunting both.</em><br><br>"Beauty," Venus then began, "is in the eye of the beholder. And what eyes she has... Eyes not quite as... curious, as the rest of you." The Drow turned her attention and set her sights on the men at the table, fiercely gazing at Darius without a hint of fear or intimidation by his size nor his prowess, because she sensed something much like dumbfounded foolishness in him. But she could've been wrong, he looked attractive. She could always do like vicious spiders- mate with him the greatest sex he would ever know, and devour him afterward with the reward of death. <br><br>Nerezza chuckled quietly, and slowly brought herself up to a stand, moving over to the table. She saw a chair next to Darius and drew it out, gracefully taking the seat and settling her wrists on the table, fingers entwined and pearl-coated obsidian nails seeming to reflect a bit of the tavern light. Her eyes like a fire core turned and set upon Darius, now so close that if she willed it, she could reach into his lap and grab him by, what she liked to refer to as the "man handle", and manhandle him. Manhandling not being anything pleasant of course, as much as it would be guaranteeing he didn't flee her, attack her, or try to pickpocket her while she was so near. But she refrained- again- keeping her hands upon the table in open sight, something most even slightly trained fighters or thieves knew the meaning of. She wanted to be sure at least one of them knew she was holding back from her desire of kicking someone's ass if only to give her a reason to be entertained.<br><br>"So I overhear you talking, and I thought I'd interject. First and foremost, sir, I do believe it's rude to <em>stare</em>, where I come from staring is a free engagement into battle. You are lucky I understand the human concept of things." She grinned, looking then to the Neko or catty-man before the masked man. "Secondly, I've been a little free of assassina- I mean, assignments, and I could use a little something simple to keep me from getting bored between my work schedule." 
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				Title: <strong>Re: Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Capsarc</strong> on <strong>26-11-2010, 22:18:38</strong>
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			<dd class="postbody">
				The lights in the room fell dark, and a voice suddenly reverberated through the air without apparent source.<br><br>"I hope this party isn't starting without <em>me</em>!"<br><br>A tremendous spout of flame burst from the floor in the center of the bar, filling the whole room with a burning orange light and a tremendous roaring noise, and it quickly grew to the size and shape of a man, flickering and dancing as if a great wind had sprung up in the still air.<br><br>"The nature of the arcane is a knowledge most subtle and obscure, and only a band of fools would venture into the world without one who could bend it to his very will!"<br><br>The fire burned from red to white, a light so hot and brilliant that it anyone looking at it needed to shield their eyes for a moment, and when it faded there was a man (http://fc04.deviantart.net/images3/i/2004/086/2/b/Wizard.jpg) standing where the flame had been. His hair, eyes and tunic were all as red as the flames that burned around him, and his cloak was a silvery-white and flowed around his legs. He strode forward towards the table, a wide smirk on his face, and held out his hand, card appearing out of a burst of fire.<br><br>"Yonathanos Sidiruryos tou Pyros," he said, handing it to the dark-haired man with the attentions of the lovely Drow woman. "Alpha-level magi, and apprentice to the high mages of Delvry, at your service."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Dariusfallenstar</strong> on <strong>27-11-2010, 04:00:46</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Grinning foolishly, Darius reached out and wrapped an arm around <strong>Seka</strong>’s shoulders, murmuring into his ear loudly enough for anyone to overhear, “Did you hear that Seka? He’s willing to sell you his body and give us his booty in return for a little Arrr-tee-fact. Sound’s properly giving and spiritual to me. In fact, I think I love him.” Darius winked at the now unmasked man playfully, clearly amused by the whole situation enough to have changed the man’s chair from the “maybe” chair into the “haha, this rocks and I want to see Seka squirm” chair. Most of his banter quieted down as the dancer began her dagger tossing, however.<br><br>With an appreciative leer – his third best – not the kind to get him stabbed, Darius called out, “Hey, <strong>dancer </strong>lady, you’d make more money working for us!” So much for his horrible ale; no doubt the proprietor would be spiking his mug with poison for the rest of the night. Clearly, Darius had absolutely no clue how to address the public in any way that even modestly resembled civility. <br><br>When, at last, the delicious looking <strong>Drow </strong>came by – looking at his massive man-junk no less – he smirked, misreading her signals entirely. He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. In his too-handsome face the maneuver was just…skeevy and more than a little odd. Then, she spoke and his face fell.<br><br>Huffing about her staring and rudeness and combat, Darius swallowed his tongue and muttered, “Well, sorry. But you’ve got nice jugs. And hips. And calves. I’ll try to behave.” Darius glanced over at Seka, as though to confirm he’d said the right thing, then flicked his intense gaze back at the Drowess. “Well, if you’re looking for work, anything that has to do with Arr-tee-facts (southern drawl included) will no doubt offer numerous challenges.” He beamed at her openly, even if his look wasn’t quite as lusty as before, and reached down, hand almost – but not quite – brushing sculpted black-skinned thigh, and began pawing through his maps.<br><br>And then, the fire happened. Explosively. Darius looked up, blinked at the young looking<strong> silver-white endowed mage</strong> and blanched. He glanced down at the table and the remaining chair there, and shrugged, “I suppose we could add another chair. Just keep in mind, you’ll be vying with Valdric for Seka’s attentions. Well, you never know, the drow might try to…I dunno…nom on you…” He gestured to the empty chair. Sure, they might be over-crowded now, but someone might get eaten along the way, eh? <br><br>He paused, looking back over at <strong>Valdric</strong>, “So, what sorts of Ahr-tee-fackts are you lookin’ for?” Yeah, maybe there was something a little…off about Darius. His accent was changing way too fast for him to be precisely what he appeared to be. Not in an uncanny scary evil Lich King kinda way, more like a gnome-in-a-suit playing pretend kinda way. Oh well. You never know – he might have been a gnome, transformed into a handsome human-ish looking man by some random curse. <br><br>Stranger things have happened. Hell, looking around, Darius thought he could see a human woman and a dwarf man…doing it in the corner. Very strange. <br>&nbsp;<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Shihong</strong> on <strong>27-11-2010, 04:25:17</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Valdric blinked, awkwardly removing his hands from Seka's and folding them back in front of him, punctuating the motion with a clearing of the throat.&nbsp; The man seemed completely incapable of relaxing properly, as if he didn't quite know how to hold himself in such casual company.&nbsp; If his spine got any straighter than it already was it was liable to bend over backwards.<br><br>"To be perfectly honest, I am not certain.&nbsp; Artifacts are objects of great rarity, usually possessing enchantments of a sort, or providing utilities beyond the ken of mortal civilizations.&nbsp; They could be a complex machine, or perhaps something as innocuous as a writing quill.&nbsp; Suffice it to say that I will <em>know</em>, should we come across such a thing in our travels," Valdric hesitantly explained.&nbsp; It clearly wasn't the whole truth, but in a city like Vritoom it was hardly surprising that a man might play things close to the vest.<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Seka</strong> on <strong>27-11-2010, 10:58:02</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<strong>"If I must trade my body in order to follow at your side, then so be it.&nbsp; I know of such things, and am willing to go to any lengths to appease you if it will aid me in the task set before me."</strong><br><br>Seka jerked back a little, clearly startled by this situation that was suddenly growing out of his control. "Hey, hey, wait a minute now! Like Darius said, I ain't trying to jiggle your lemons or munch on your sirloin or whatever!"<br><br>Seka grit his teeth in a forced smile and dug his elbow into <strong>Darius'</strong> ribs. "I'm glad you like him so much. You can have the first turn with him then and I'll spend the night with the Dr-" He cut his words off promptly, following smoothly with "dreaded empty tent." as suddenly the <strong>Drow woman</strong> had approached. He had only meant to joke, having little physical interest in even as obviously beautiful a woman as she was. He smiled sheepishly and pointed a finger at the now<strong> maskless man</strong> "You sit tight and relax a second. Seduce Darius or something and we'll get back to this whole artifact deal." He commanded as though he were suddenly the leader.<br><br>He turned back to the<strong> Drow </strong>with a grin and waved a hand in Darius' direction. "Forgive my friend. His honesty is really endearing when you get used to it." Implying that Venus did <em>indeed</em> have nice jugs, hips, and calves. And, well, to be fair, she did. "I think we could certainly use someone with your talents, if you're willing to not kill Darius in his sleep for saying something about your body." He replied with a chipper grin.<br><br><strong>“Hey, dancer lady, you’d make more money working for us!”</strong><br><br>The feline turned to <strong>Darius</strong>, face showing slight annoyance. "Are you going to invite <em>all</em> the pretty women at the bar?"&nbsp; He asked flatly, though he had to admit that her skill with knives was impressive. Better than his own? Possibly and that was another reason he was uncertain about her. He didn't want to be made redundant all of a sudden. <br><br>Turning back to the <strong>uptight artifact seeker</strong> now that he felt he was finally getting a hold of the situation, he spoke again. "Well, since Darius seems to have expressed some interest as well, and, well, I like money, we'll just see how this goes for now. Do you have any skills in combat or exploring? Oh and one thing: No scary masks or stabby helmets unless you're trying kill someth-"<br><br><strong>The lights in the room fell dark, and a voice suddenly reverberated through the air without apparent source.<br><br>"I hope this party isn't starting without me!"</strong><br><br>Just before the mage could arrive at the table, Seka turned to <strong>Darius</strong> ears flat against his head and scowling. "I blame this weirdness on you some how." He remarked before turning back with his polite face to the <strong>mage.</strong><br><br>Darius had already seemingly already accepted him, but that was an awfully fancy title and card and Seka was feeling a little tired by now. His tone was dry in his single question. "Can we afford you?" He asked, just hoping that the man expected a normal cut. It'd be the most normal thing all night if that were the case.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Capsarc</strong> on <strong>28-11-2010, 00:18:18</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				The wizard smiled down at the young cat-man.<br><br>"I assure you, money is of trivial importance to one such as me," he said. "Pay me whatever you deem enough, I simply seek to join your band for the sake of..." he paused, biting his lip, taking a few moments to pick out the right word. "New experiences. Yes, let's say that." He smiled. "Call it the relentless pursuit of arcane wisdom, if you like, if I truly just wish to see more of this world."<br><br>He turned to face the giant man who was taking all this very seriously. "And I may be able to help you on your mission," he said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "I have experience with all kinds of arcane lore, I'm certain that my knowledge would prove invaluable in your quest."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Dreamers Sand</strong> on <strong>29-11-2010, 20:23:40</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Darius dipped his head, and mentioned her body in a humanistic form that lacked creativity. Jugs? How bland of that human to refer to her full breasts as the mugs in which large loads of fluid were contained. He could've gotten a few good points from her barely existent good side, if he had spared up something a little more unique than <em>jugs</em>.<br><br><em>Idiotic human, how would he feel if I called his phallus a ...a .... why, my mind won't even let me stoop that stupid.</em><br><br>She then noted the bright light, having heard Seka's words as her attention veered crookedly over to the mage. He spoke of the arcane, and it made Venus care to laugh. Though she withheld, mages were a serious matter, she knew. Most of the women from her clan in the undergrounds had been Priestesses, warlocks, and mages. She was one of the few who trained with the men as a young Drow, favoring their company and skills far greater.<br><br>"Your outspoken nature is... somewhat admirable, I suppose... Anyway, I would be entertained by joining this band of travelers or scavengers, whichever you'd go by. My name is something I'm not trusting to anyone quite yet. But my alias and name by rumor is Venus." <br><br>The Drow crossed her legs over gain, her obsidian thighs reflecting a bit of light, much like a well oiled craft of smooth black marble. She tapped her sharp pearled nails against the table and looked about at the mage, before reflecting her gaze unto Seka.<br><br>"Well, you seem to be the civilized one here, I believe I need an introduction of these people. Besides Sir Pyros, I believe I caught that introduction..."
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Silk</strong> on <strong>30-11-2010, 22:04:34</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				Ysena made her retreat off of the stage, moving back to the back rooms. The people with the knifes moving to the bar to claim their free drink. As she went several of the appreciative male watchers moved up to her, either handing her a tip for the dance, or putting it down her top, depending how drunk they were. She sighed but was no less accustom to this form of treatment.<br><br>Overhearring someone call to a Dancer, gathering they were talking to her, saying they promised better pay. She raised her hand in response, letting them know she will be with them shortly as she dissapeared into the back rooms to get over overcloths on and packing her dancing attire back into her traveling bags.<br><br>Picking up her knives as she passed the bar she returned to the group who were recruiting, gauging each of them in turn, there was more of them than when she left. It could almost resemble a respectable traveling party. Pulling over a unused chair she sat down at the table, content to listen to the convosation until there was a gap. "So, how much more pay am I looking at exactly?" She queried, wanting to get straight to the point, not that she was a stiff, but she needed to make sure these guys knew that when talking buisness, she wasn't messing around.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Dariusfallenstar</strong> on <strong>01-12-2010, 11:24:37</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				For a moment it seemed as though a wave of seriousness washed through Darius’ otherwise jovial features. Shifting away from the table, the man stood and took in each person – those who were peeking in the doorway and considering applying, as well as those around the table, situated in such a way that let him know they were, indeed, interested. <br><br>Speaking low, so as not to alert the entire room of his plans, Darius lay out several maps on the table top. With each one, he tapped his finger once, igniting an emerald puff below his finger like some theatric demarcation of truth. <br><br>At the <strong>first</strong>, he said, “Abandoned Dwarven mine. Said to have ancient riches. Artifacts for digging, sculpting stone and probably a few golems. Seemed easy pickings, but we never know about these things. All spoils, no reward.”<br><br>At the <strong>second</strong>, he said, “Elves are having problems with pixies. Apparently, they’ve gone punch mad and gotten into the…” he glanced down, just to make sure his lettering was square – it was – “Cat nip. They are enchanting anyone who comes within their realm and driving them mad with desire, or laughter, or both.” He glanced up at the mage, and over at Venus, “It could be poison, it could be magic – but our party seems diverse enough to address it. This map is copied from a posting they put up in the capital city – we might have competitors. Two hundred gold and a promise of some very potent potions of regeneration – one for each of us.”<br><br>At the <strong>third</strong>, he said, “A real villain here. Seems like some underground abandoned hideout has recently become active. People are vanishing into it. There’s a town nearby willing to pay three-hundred gold for a cure, along with spoils. I took this map from the mayor himself; it is unlikely anyone else will head that direction”<br><br>He paused over the other maps but quickly folded them away; three was more than enough to test this group’s mettle. Dark hair framing his aquiline, predatory features, Darius addressed the group directly, “I’ll go on any of these three with you all. Just to test us out – see how we work together and what we’re capable of. If you’re not interested in these, I suggest you pull out for now and come back at another time. If you are – I suggest we majority vote on one.”<br><br>Sitting back down, he took a long pull of his hard, tasteless ale, “And I’ll vote last.”<br>
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Seka</strong> on <strong>03-12-2010, 00:29:19</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<strong><br>"Well, you seem to be the civilized one here, I believe I need an introduction of these people. Besides Sir Pyros, I believe I caught that introduction..."</strong><br><br>Seka gave a wry grin. Oh what a band it was and what a day when <em>he</em> was the civilized one. Still he hadn't called anyone out on their jugs or anything yet so he supposed that did make him the more civil so far. "Ah well I can't say I know everyone here. This is my traveling partner Darius, if this young lady's stage name holds to be true, her name is Ysena, I haven't caught Master Stab-hat's name just yet and I, am Seka.<br><br>He turned to the dancer and the mage. "Well, you'll be receiving a full cut of any reward and loot so long as you pull your weight. You'll generally be expected to afford your own gear and supplies from that so don't go blowing it all at the first tavern if you plan on sticking around. As for what we're doing... Uh..." Seka faltered a moment before <strong>Darius</strong> came in, laying out the plans for them.<br><br>"Hnnh, if we're going to do the second one at all we'd best do it quickly it would make sense to do it first if we don't want someone snatching up that bounty. If not probably the third one? Seems the best reward and the more dire circumstances. I'd imagine if ther're survivors, we might even get more in rewards, who knows?" He shrugged and sat back, waiting for the others to chime in their opinions, grinning at Darius flipping to be all leaderish all of a sudden.
			</dd>
			<dt class="postheader">
				Title: <strong>Re: Hilarious Epic Fantasy Erotic Amazingness! See Inside for Surprises! </strong><br>
				Post by: <strong>Capsarc</strong> on <strong>06-12-2010, 05:58:34</strong>
			</dt>
			<dd class="postbody">
				<strong>"Well, you'll be receiving a full cut of any reward and loot so long as you pull your weight."</strong><br><br>"Oh thank god," the mage slumped into a chair almost immediately, somehow producing a bottle of mead. "I swear, this was like my absolute last day to join an adventuring party or I wouldn't get credit this semester. Good thing you guys came around or I wouldn't even be able to graduate. Can I get some nachos or something here? ...maybe some chicken or some onion rings? Hell, just bring me anything."<br><br>The waitress nodded and scurried off, and the mage leaned back in his chair, putting his feet up on the table.<br><br>"I think we should do that <strong>third</strong> one there," he said. "Dungeon crawling, defeating a bad guy, saving the village? That kinda shit will look great on my CV. Plus it's exclusive, we don't have to worry about any competition. We can totally slack on this one, who else are they gonna call? Probably just some goblin with a superiority complex anyway, totally noob-cave stuff, oh sweet, the food!"<br><br>The waitress brought back a plate holding something that might have been an obese sausage and might have been an entire stuffed raccoon. The mage prodded it with his fork, shrugged, and started eating anyway.<br><br>"I think we're gonna be a great team, guys!" he said. "Gonna be the best internship ever. And call me John, by the way, the fancy title is really just to impress the mundanes. Oh. No offense."
			</dd>
		</dl>
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