Jack boarded the train and sat down in an available seat. He set his shotgun on the seat next to him and gave L.E.R.U. the command to continue healing him. He heard the Saints coming, but he knew he'd be worthless if he didn't get fixed up. Jack looked out the open door and hoped that Norene would close it before the beasts made it on board. Memories of the day began entering Jack's mind, how he lost his men, how he might have inadvertently killed Leela, the things Jeice said to him. He had completely forgotten about Jeice, he hoped he had made it to the F.O.B., he didn't want to think he'd lost everybody. Jack moved his right hand over his eyes. He was trying his best to be strong, but it would soon become clear that he was fighting a losing battle with many inner demons he had developed over the years, most of them coming from today or the ten year stretch on Exalein. Jack remembered how it happened, him trading his comrade's freedom for his own. How he gave them up so he could live. Every ounce of Jack wished he could go back and tell Zaida to fuck herself, say that he'd never betray them, die right then and there as a hero rather than live to see today as a coward. It was all for nothing as well, it turned out. Jack wanted to come home so he could be there for his family, his mother and sister who needed him, but his father, Lawrence Hawthorne, had apparently come back and shot his sister, then raped his mother before turning the gun on her. Jack remembered finding a copy of the newspaper it was in, just another story, not even on the front page. Everyone got to casually see how Jack's life had fallen apart while he was gone, and Jack couldn't do a damn thing about it. Jack hated his life, how it turned out, the choices he had made. Jack wanted to just find a place where nobody could see him and stay there until he died. Now Jack had some sort of being living inside him, one that loved to see him suffer. Well, he hoped it was happy, there was no lower points left for Jack to go to, he had hit rock bottom. Everything he had was gone, everything he loved was taken, everything he cared about was no more, and for the most part it was entirely his fault...