Johan's heart is buoyant as the group sets off to town, and not simply because he's already thinking about the lewd, immoral, and quite possibly blasphemous-to-some-prudish-gods pleasures that the night might bring well before sleep enters the equation. Even though they've failed, he is serenely confident that his group has done as well as can feasibly be expected given the changing conditions of the job partway through their mission. Coming up with a partial victory- they didn't control the well, but the opposition didn't either- felt sufficient, for now. When he learns of the predicament Cyria narrowly averted with a scout of a surrendered group being freed instead of birdfeed, that's a positive result as well. Why have people get digested- at least, digested by someone other than a friend of his- when there was no pay on the line? And the parting was, if not friendly, at least coolly correct enough to hope that if perhaps next time he was on the losing end to a group with them in it, he might not end up padding on one of their curves. There were some mercs that, if not willing to obey the Golden Rule, would at least sometimes do unto others as they'd already had done unto them. As the walk went on, he occasionally whistled, and occasionally amused himself by watching the rear of the mercenary in front of him while fantasizing a little. It's only when they are halted by a pair of brigands in the road. Johan risks a quick look around and smirks a little, letting them go through their spiel, before stepping forward with a cocky grin and swagger in his step.<br/><br/>"Hi, Makisa, I'm Johan. Leader of this group here. If you've got an official warrant from the city, one of us will be the most surprised person here and the other will be a close second, alright? We can cut out the bullshit. We're not paying, yeah? I really value trust and honesty in negotiations like these, so let me just lay those cards on the table first." He looks up at the sky, as if receiving divine inspiration, and he points at Makisa. "One. Makisa. Nice name."<br/><br/>He points at the rat. "You. No name. You're Cheesy, now."<br/><br/>He points off to the left, squarely at the pig-eared girl. "You! I love the outfit, and that's a nice hammer, but you really don't fit there. Nobody's fooled, Miss Piggy."<br/><br/>And then he half turns, pointing in the other direction at a thick tree. "Hi! I see you, too. That color isn't flattering, and the face tattoo screams about poor life decisions made while still a teenager. I think there's magic for that."<br/><br/>Twisting a few degrees and pointing between a pair of trees, "You! Don't see scorpion girls that much in climates this far north. What, were you thrown out of your tribe for poor fashion sense? Inability to keep your stinger still? Gimme a break."<br/><br/>Yet another one, a little higher in the trees. "You two! You two are just too adorable together? Sleeping together? Came from the same mother? Can't tell. Be afraid of inbreeding, either way, though. You can get some messed up kids that way. Are the eyes real or a magical accident? I kind of want to ask if you and robe-boy over in the other direction were friends as teens and made Unwise Life Choices together, but skip that."<br/><br/>"And you!" He turns, still pointing unwaveringly at something hardly seen. "I like your fashion, too. No, seriously, that's not snark. It's a flattering cut. Hide's practical if you can't afford great armor, and the teeth necklace is a<span style="font-style: italic">little</span>cliche, but you're pulling it off. Good on you. You half human or half elf on the other side, no offense, the ears are pointing me due elf right now. Don't see many of those."<br/><br/>He turns back to the human in the center. "So, your ambush plan's already all fucked up, lady, and I've already told you what you're not getting from us, okay? So let's try this again. This," he gestures at Sasara, "Is my friend Sasara. She's very hungry and very lewd. She and I have a date tonight in an inn, and if you don't get out of our way and wait for easier prey, I am going to have a lot of fun tonight. Do you know why, Makisa? Because I'm going to feed you to her, and tonight when she's wrapped around me and we're fucking our brains out, I'm going to feel your still just barely alive form squelching and melting away pressed up and curled all around me, and it's going to make my orgasm even better. And this is my other friend, Cyria," he nods. "I'm sure she'd love to get her fangs in you, Cheesy, and even if she can't wrap around me the same way I can't wait to help massage you away into more easily absorbed slurry while at the same time seeing just how much pleasure a human with a soft pair of hands can give a drider. So!" He claps his hands, beaming. "Now that we're both made our positions perfectly clear, what do you say we mutually forget about '20 gold tolls' and 'me feeling your body come apart under the lusty, hungry caressing squeezes of a naga's coils around me sweating naked chest'? Seems a fair trade. "<br/><br/><br/>[[<a class="postlink" href="http://orokos.com/roll/372128">Perception</a>:<span style="text-decoration: underline">1d20+0</span><span style="font-weight: bold">20</span><br/><br/><a class="postlink" href="http://orokos.com/roll/372129">Intimidate</a>:<span style="text-decoration: underline">1d20+8</span><span style="font-weight: bold">23</span><br/><br/>Hee.]]