"God yes, please give it to me, I want this to be as painless as possible. I would prefer really to live if it had to be in a pasture, with a master who was going to take care of me. I was only acting brave because it is considered an honor to sacrifice yourself for a fellow mare. You don't know how stressful it is every month having to wonder if your number would come up. I got two years, before there I was my number called, and being dragged off to a holding facility. I spent I don't know two months maybe being fattened up so that I would be perfect for someone to roast.  After I got here, I could tell it was a school, and that scared me more. From what I know, when students are learning with me as the demonstration model so to speak, there untrained hands can cause quite a lot of pain to roasts like me. I really would have rather have some experienced chef to cook me, as I would assume that they would try to make it as painless as possible, like you with the drink. I was wrong to snap at you before, and I am sorry. You are only trying to make it completely painless, and I thank you for that. I may not show it, but I really just want to curl up in a ball right now.