Cal made his way to the library. He walked right past Zenith, Tyr and Moonshadow without even noting their presence. Randomly taking a book off the shelves, he sat in a dark corner and opened it. He didn't read it though, not even looking at it. He ran Valarinth's telepathic message through his mind again. Something more precious to him than his desire to survive? It didn't exist. He was sure of it. And if it did exist, it would be taken from him, just like everything else....<br/><br/>He growled and tried to focus on something else. He didn't want to delve into those supressed memories again. Despite the fact that Valarinth had probed his mind on several occaisions, she would never see these memories. She wouldn't even know they were there. All she had seen was the anger, the rage, the desire to survive.<br/><br/>He growled again and clenched his fists, the books on the shelves around him shaking slightly.<br/><br/>She would never see the loss, the pain, the sorrow.<br/><br/>The books on the shelves shook more violently.<br/><br/>All supressed feelings from Cal's past.<br/><br/>And then there was<span style="font-style: italic">her</span>....<br/><br/>The vibrations spread throughout the entire library.<br/><br/>Why couldn't he keep his memories under control this time? He could always do it in the past. One final blast of magical energy which knocked several of the shelves over, he knelt on the floor, not moving at all.<br/><br/>"I need help." He said for the first time in his existence, hastily wiping the single tear off his cheek before anyone could notice.