Bright: Yes, better. Fluff stuff out a little more if you like, but the stunts are still a bit off. Again, if you fill in the template for a stunt I put in the writeup you'll be on the right track...<br/><br/>ragnar: Hi! I adore the concept, so let's get into some tweaking.<br/>First- try to condense your aspects into something more... concise? You'll get tired typing all of those out every time<img alt=":lol:" src="./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif" title="Laughing"/>There's no rule about length, but it's recommended to be to the point. For example, for Trouble, instead of "Reckless, not exactly smart nor diplomatic, and definitely not dragon enough to handle all the trouble he tries to cause." you could get the gist of that in less of a mouthful with something like "Reckless brute"... Also, you've probably got enough overlap in your aspects to be able to free one up. For instance, your high concept already includes knightly and ravenous; you don't need your 3rd and 4th aspects to both be reiterating those two parts of your high concept! You have room for another aspect, if there's some other part of his Who He Is that you want to describe. Everything else looks good!<br/><br/><br/>P.S. a general reminder about the *mechanical* use of all your aspects... when you do something and you want a +2 bonus on it, and it is something your aspect could help with you spend a fate point and invoke that aspect to get +2. When one of your aspects could penalize you from doing something or force you to do something you may not like, the GM, yourself, or another player can invoke that aspect, earn a fate point, and get -2 on a roll. There's other stuff, but those are the major ones; keep that in mind when writing aspects!