(FOR THE EMPERO- I mean: FOR THE COMEDY!)<br/><br/>A sign on the front counter reads:<span style="font-weight: bold">"Hello, and welcome to the Pet Store!  My name is Mr. Sign, and I'm here to assist you while you're here.  We pride ourselves on having nice, friendly, and often times <span style="font-style: italic">hungry</span> pets of all shapes and sizes.  Feel free to browse our selection of pets and pet-related supplies. In the event you are devoured or otherwise digested within the boundaries of the store, you will be reformed safe and sound outside of the thing that ate you.  <span style="text-decoration: underline">WARNING: Be careful when opening doors or investigating strange noises.  You may run the risk of getting your ass kicked by employees, pets, and other individuals either having sex or gulping each other down.  Do not provoke the animals in any way; It will be the end of you.</span>  Aside from that, enjoy yourself!"</span>