I watch him spread the mustard (God, how I hate mustard, of all condiments, he had to pick mustard).  I hear him say, "Mmmmm," and I almost like it.  My jeans are getting uncomfortable, but it's the only thing I have to cover myself from the cold cave.  He turns to my cage and opens the door.  His huge fingers movings toward me.  Eckkk, I can smell the mustard on his hand.