Order shook her head and looked away.<span style="color: #ffff00">"i dont have anyone, i have a list of stupid people who need me to clean up their messes and then want me gone because im rude about it... never mind that what they want done is done with the utmost care and with every attention to detail. never mind that i am rude because everyone sends me away instead of trying to teach me... never mind that my only friend is a drunken, rowdy Dwarf who im learning bad habits from because he is the only fucking creature in all of existence who lets me spend time with him without lashing out at me."</span>she looked at Elerona after a moment and frowned.<span style="color: #ffff00"> "how would you know anything about what i endured? The'kal knows only the very beginning, before she ran away with you, after that she knows nothing... if she had monitored any of it they would have found her. but why should i give any of you another change to hurt me? why shouldnt i stay this way? protected behind the emotional armor that i used to destroy innocence across the universe and survive it. of course you felt negative emotions, what am i supposed to do? feel good about what i did? you thought what? that seeing you would make me forget all the guilt and pain i endured to get here? im sorry but nothing will just wipe away all of that... even i know it has to be worked through slowly. but no one has time for me or my problems, not until i solve everyone elses issues no matter how much they hate me for doing it my way... but i can endure their hatred if i hide behind my armor, not if i keep letting you people hurt me. i dont know if i can take much more before i snap and do what everyone fears i will do, destroy everything just to make the pain stop."</span><div class="messageTextEndMarker"> </div>