Order snarled and shoved Empress off of herself to look at her with rage in her eyes.<span style="color: #ffff00">"fuck her! you want to be in my life!? then defend me for a change! tell her to take her anger over her dead clan and go scream into the space they died in! fuck her excuses for abusing me! i will not take it! the people who want to be in my life will be on my side, telling others why i am not a perfect angel of mercy when i say the wrong thing! they will not hold me in their arms and tell me i must understand the pain of others when my own pain spans galaxies more then that of those who harm me!"</span>she wiped the tears from her eyes and shook her head.<span style="color: #ffff00">"by all means if i screw up tell me so, but gently. just because i cannot break doesn't mean i am not in more pain then any other living thing could endure and remain whole. i should be stark raving mad, i should make Purity's madness look like perfect sanity but i cannot break... i wish i could! then they would gather and kill me and end my pain! but i remain sane, and in agony because i am Order. i will not have those who hurt me in my life. i will not have those who make excuses for those who hurt me in my life. be on my side or begone from my life. i would rather be wholly and completely alone in this universe then hear one more sob story about why someone has hurt me... i know the fucking stories and every single one is also my story of pain and no one cares! fuck her stupid clan and her injuries! it must have been so terrible to be safely hidden away, believed dead and spending eons visiting someone who loves her while i was being made to kill people, abused and violated in every way they could imagine!"</span><br/><br/><span style="color: #ff4dff">"The'kal gave me my staff though i rarely use it. that, my dear Ras is all i want, our closest family and a happy party after."</span>she laughed quietly and shook her head.<span style="color: #ff4dff">"my dear, you are quite large but i cannot see you competing with a horse."</span>she smiled but her eyes were slowly drifting closed.<span style="color: #003366">"Lorna is sterile Ras, she was made that way by the one who gifted her birth in the first place." </span><div class="messageTextEndMarker"> </div>