Order shook her head and reached up to rub her temples.<span style="color: #ffff00"> "maybe this will clear things up... Ras, i am a breath away from being suicidal and i no longer care what anyone else wants or needs, i am going to take care of myself. The'kal has proven that she is too much of a stupid coward to do anything but hurt me so fuck her. Elerona wants nothing to do with me and when i force the issue she hurts me so fuck her. Karrie is a broken monster who doesn't want to get better so fuck her. Karren doesn't know i exist and i have no intention to enlighten her. i am not doing this out of anger or pride or stubbornness, this is a matter of self preservation. they have forced me to choose between my own emotional well being or them, i choose myself. the kindness and concern you have shown me in these few short minutes is more then i have gotten from any of my relatives since i met them... which is just another reason for me not to even consider changing my mind." </span><div class="messageTextEndMarker"> </div>