Rachel watched him intently and frowned a little.<span style="color: #0000ff">"i find it so hard to believe that i was a good mother... i want to be, but i fear that i will screw everything up, my whole life has been a disaster... i figured that i must have made some colossal mistake with you that you now wanted revenge for since your father wouldn't be here to stop you."</span>she tensed but didn't pull away or try to stop him.<span style="color: #0000ff">"you really mean it don't you? your not angry with me... i didn't fail as a parent?"</span><div class="messageTextEndMarker"> </div>