Ibara threw her hands up with a scream of frustration.<span style="color: #ff8000">"i don't want to start over! how many times do i have to say it before it gets through that thick Troll skull of yours!? fifteen, twenty? give me a number and i will just repeat that many times all at once and save myself a whole lot of breath. i don't want your help! go find someone worth helping and go pester them!"</span>she nodded and smiled bitterly.<span style="color: #ff8000">"once again everyone thinks they know what is good for me but when they are wrong i am blamed for it. if i had gotten the letters i never would have thought he had abandoned me in the first place and i probably would have just accepted the locket with the quiet grumbling that i accept any gifts with. instead i just get a locket out of the blue and have no reason to take it as anything but a knife to the heart and when i react appropriately to a sudden stab of pain I'm accused of overreacting. this is the fucking problem, people mismanaging my affairs and then expecting me to smile graciously and i can't do that anymore. go right ahead but i can do you one better."</span>she walked across the room and pulled a small orb out of a drawer and she set it on the table. after entering some information images filled the room. on the bed sat Morah trying desperately to mend Ibara's mutilated body as it had appeared after the Loa and Elune got done fighting over her.<span style="color: #ff8000"> "i fought to defend my child, as is my 'sacred right and duty' according to every fucking person and god... but this is what they did to me for trying to defend myself when Nyaka gutted me and killed my baby."</span>she waved one hand, Morah, Shauna and a few other priestesses moving at a wildly accelerated rate as they tried to care for Ibara until Ras appeared and looked down at Ibara. she then froze the image on the look of pure contempt he had before his care and concern overrode his anger.<span style="color: #ff8000">"this is a security file, it cannot be manipulated in any way for my security. look at him! i fought the god slayer who killed his child. the gods tore me apart and threw me away for daring to fight back... and this is how he looked at me for defending our child with my life. this face was seared into my soul and i never trusted him again. there was no sadness over our child, no compassion for the agony i was in because of what they did to me, no sorrow at seeing me like this... just contempt."</span>she closed the file and shook her head.<span style="color: #ff8000">"you don't care about me, you care abut your Ibara, but i am not your second chance to get things right with her. i know what your saying, i fully understand it and i am not looking forward to my perpetual misery. i just don't believe that it will do anything but get worse if i continue this life. more people will hurt me, more pain will be added and my unending misery will be worse then if i just die now. do you understand that?"</span><br/><br/>the man shook his head and laughed. "no, Ras, i just recognize you from the last time you assaulted my Lady. is that the best lie you can come up with? your pathetic." he shook his head again and shut the window and locked the door.<div class="messageTextEndMarker"> </div>