Order shook her head and frowned deeply but she did not interrupt them.<span style="color: #ffff00">"i recognize that you are both trying to do what you think is best for me but please respect my right to choose what i think is best, it is my life. i know nothing of my past with The'kal and i never will. her memories cannot and never will be my memories. they will contain none of my thoughts, my feelings or my perspectives on anything that happened. they mean no more to me then the pages of a history book... and the fact remains that since my return The'kal has tried to murder me."</span>she gestured to Susan.<span style="color: #ffff00">"and in doing so nearly destroyed both her son and one of my daughter's mates. she has feared me without reason. she has hurt me time and time again through incompetence and neglect. she has lied to me about many things, even if we ignore her believing our children dead she even lied to me about Elerona's condition and concealed it until she was forced to admit what she had done and undo it. she has refused my most basic requests while placing tremendous burdens on my life."</span>she looked up at Empress.<span style="color: #ffff00">"whereas you are willing to sacrifice everything to see me happy she has given her love to another. why should i choose her? because she is native to this timeline? that means nothing to me. because she gave me children? they are adults now and i have been told that i was never there in the first place... shameful as i find my failure as a parent i will not be a better parent now if i stay with her. in fact her continued abuse of me is already causing disputes between me and my son. her actions and my continued choice to associate with her is why Balance despises me."</span>she shook her head a little and frowned as she looked at the table.<span style="color: #ffff00">"the past is gone... i can only look to the future and try to build a new life and i see no reason not to choose to try to do that with you over the one who has violently rejected me. if you will have a damaged, sterile woman." </span><div class="messageTextEndMarker"> </div>