<span style="color: purple">"all i feel is fear and anger anymore... none of that keeps me from lashing out at the people i dont want to hurt and they keep me from lashing out at those i do want to hurt. Sahra does have a heart of gold but she has a list of issues nearly as long as i do and so far hasnt been any help dealing with them and she lets those issues rule her life..." </span>she shook her head and closed her eyes.<span style="color: purple">"but i dont know how to not hurt those i cant forgive like you and Ras... good for you, you dont have to keep looking at those people, they have all died and gone away, my failures are still around to remind me every day and some happily scream those reminders at me. Amere doesnt have the backbone to tell Ras whats good for her family let alone tell me to leave... i dont know how to take care of myself, how am i supposed to be a mother and take care of her? i can hurt you with nothing but my words, ive done it already even when i didnt want to, i know i hurt you or you wouldnt have run so far away... i dont know if they will let me stay here."</span><br/><br/><span style="color: red">"well then reach down and find a pair and talk to her and dont hand me any crap about not being able to, Susan is one of the most caring people i know. dont bring up the problem just tell her you need her help, she will connect to your mind and you two can talk this out the same way you met."</span>she smirked and shook her head.<span style="color: red"> "welcome to life with mortals, we fuck shit up with the things we wont talk about." </span><div class="messageTextEndMarker"> </div>