<span style="color: #ff0000">"You do make me happy. You give me a reason to continue living and a reason to keep fighting my inner demons. I don't want a husband, I don't need one. You are my mate, my lover, and if you would accept me, your wife. I have never felt restricted by you it's always... when you open up to me I get scared. I get terrified of... I don't know what. But I just feel like I need to get away. Then when I get away I feel like I want to die." </span>She moved a little closer to Rachel and took her free hand.<span style="color: #ff0000"> "I'm not scared anymore. I don't know what Order did, or maybe The'kal but all I feel like doing right now is hugging you. I don't feel like I'm going to hurt you again, I don't feel like I need to run... I feel like I need to touch you and hold you."</span>She closed her eyes and wiped away some tears.<span style="color: #ff0000"> "I've been an awful mate, and your life would be better without me but I'm selfish and I need you. I can't live without you... no, I won't live without you but I won't hurt you anymore. I won't ever hurt you again."</span><div class="messageTextEndMarker"> </div>