Order sat in silence for some time before she shook her head.<span style="color: #ffff00"> "no, i never had any control. i didnt remember why i obeyed them but i knew that i must but i never... i never did more then i had to, i never learned to like my job, i never got creative to get what they wanted, i never... i never failed to, in your terms, shed a tear for the crimes they made me do... i would retreat into my cell and weep for the things i did for so long. eventually i never stopped weeping, they derided me for it, they beat me for it until i finally could cry no more and my pain has never ended... but that doesnt mean im not guilty, i did those things, i did it... they made me do it but it was my hands..."</span>she squeezed Delithia and pressed her face into the Elf's shoulder and soon the Preiestess' shoulder was damp with tears.<span style="color: #ffff00"> "why does it hurt so much? i didnt want to... even if i didnt do it they would have still done it all so it wouldnt have changed anything... and i tried to be as merciful as i could... they loved that... they made me do it or they did things so much worse... they would give me the choice to blow up a mortal world, killing everyone and everything instantly... or they would make me watch them slowly burn it up and make sure i heard every scream... i was merciful, why does that hurt so much?"</span><div class="messageTextEndMarker"> </div>