Alone I sit, staring at a half empty pint of mead, golden brown nectar of sweet sanity. my release from these thoughts surrounding me. inhabited by thoughts of loneliness as I was before she came in here the first time. I thought she changed me, I thought I became more of myself after she taught me, I knew that I found myself after I met her. That night so long ago I sat here as I'm sitting tonight, peering over hoping that I would find comfort in the company of another yet at the same time scoffing at anyone coming near out of pity. I ask myself the same way as i did then, what is this connection we seek with another human that makes us loath ourselves when we're alone. I thought I was comfortable enough with myself when she wasn't around because she helped me find myself, and I'm such a fool.<br/>when she came in she saw me, she saw through the facade of doubt and despair into the core thoughts that I hide from everyone, with just a whisper towards the bartender I asked for another drink. She saw what I saw and spoke softly at first; loneliness is beautiful, strange and fun. she sat down with me and shared her story, made me part of it, made me feel like I was finally moving... but here I am.<br/>I found myself and that I'm still what I was that night, dependent on others to feel fulfilled. Now they don't even  mean anything, I only want her. The girl that showed me how to feel, and how true I can be.<br/><br/><br/><br/>and i pour another glass.