The way Remus’ hands moved made Sirius’ breath catch in his throat, unsure how much was desire and how much was dread.<br/>He<span style="font-style: italic">knew</span>that he wanted Remus, was absolutely desperate for him, but the idea that that would actually lead to sex was almost too much for him, unable to properly wrap his head around it. It probably didn’t help that his head was still swimming with the remainder of the wine, making him uncertain of him much of his feeling woozy was Remus and how much was wine.<br/>“I-“ he started up, once again left in a situation where he was supposed to voice desires that he didn’t even properly know the shape of, much less having a proper concept of how to put it into words.<br/>“I like this,” he managed, once again feeling the heat rise to his cheeks, making the words catch in his throat and almost feeling too shy to properly look at Remus, who seemed so terrible genuine that Sirius didn’t want to let him down and be unable to share his desires.<br/>“But I can’t-“ he cut himself off again, Remus’ hands on the waistband of his trousers feeling heavy in a way where Sirius had a hard time distinguishing whether it was desire or fear.