I smiled slightly at RÃ¦ven and banished my parents from my mind. Some wounds, even time couldn't heal. I stood and walked quietly into the shallow water, my bare feet feeling the spring thaw immediately. Cold water from glaciers. From the mountains. I had never realized how beautiful the world was until it had been snatched away from me. Until a beam of sunlight falling across the floor in the early morning was a miracle in itself that gave you the strength to hold out one more day.  I felt lost. All the pain was just there in the back of my mind, ready to pounce and break me to pieces when I wasn't looking. I tried to let it go as I looked at the beauty around me, my family packing up to move on. We had to pick up the pieces. We had to move on. because if we didn't...we'd be stuck in the circus forever, whether we like it or not.