Ryan looked around the ship. It was so strange this ship couldn’t have been much larger than the house he stayed in on earth. Yet here he stood feeling like it was home already. He sighed heavily, despite all that he still couldn’t bare to draw breathe. He failed his sister in his mind, and there was nothing in the world that could fix that. He sighed heavily and sat back down on the bed, wishing they’d just left him in that cell to rot. He looked out into space and then down at his arms, at the mesh of scars there. His veins seemed to glow now, he had no idea what that meant. Ryan’s blood had always had a slight glow to it when it was outside his body but never inside before. He shook away the thought and began to fall into himself. Part of him screamed out for Ureil, that seemed to be the only time he found any joy. But another part of him repelled against that, after all he failed his sister he didn’t deserve to be happy.<br/><br/>Then of course there were these new feelings towards Anak, okay so he’d always been Bi. But never before had Ryan felt love for two people at once, his entire body called out for both Uriel and Anak. However his damaged Psyche refused to let him feel the joy in either of them. Ryan saw himself as a worthless failure, he just never had the guts to face death.<br/>“Does… does your race suffer from the mental illness depression?” He asked anyone not really expecting an answer. He hoped if they did they wouldn’t be able to see the signs in him. He hated how weak he was, despised himself. Even worse he felt that every time he got a tiny bit of happiness that it would get torn away from him. Ryan once again got up and waited outside the door where Ureil had disappeared into.<span style="font-style: italic">Should I go in there and confess what a state I'm in?</span>he thought to himself, sighing as he did.<span style="font-style: italic">No, that would show weakeness there is no way she'd go for weakness</span>