As much as Aeris had wanted him to wrap her in his arms from the start, part of her was glad that he had kept his distance. She didn’t think she could have gotten through all of that if he had. She probably wouldn’t have broken down much sooner in the warmth and comfort his arms brought her, and if not that, she could barely handle the guilt and shame she felt as it was, she didn’t know that she could have handled it and continued if he were any closer.<br/><br/>Even so, when she’d finished and admitted to her guilt and her doubts, it was a welcomed relief when he had stood and his arms moved to wrap her up, accepting her when she launched at him. She clung tightly to him as he held her back just as tightly. He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t need to. His actions told her that he accepted her, that he wouldn’t reject her or push her away, that he probably wouldn’t allow her to run even if she wanted to—not that she did.<br/><br/>She held onto him as he scooped her up, kissing her hair and moving to sit amongst their pillows with her in his lap. She snuggled against him as his hands gently rubbed her back, slowly helping to ease the pain she felt, to bring her comfort. Just as she clung to him, she clung to every feeling, every thought, every memory he shared with her. Everything that told her that he didn’t blame her for what she had done, that he loved her as much as he ever had, that he saw the kindness in her that she so often overlooked.<br/><br/>She remembered the things that he showed her, the memories of the many adventures she and An-Lok had dragged them on, how the two of them had tried to take all of the blame every time. She remembered the countless times she had snuck into the kitchen and swiped some sweets for them to share, and plenty of times when she’d dragged him, or all three of the others along on the adventure, the latter of which often ended with them getting caught. And she remembered the book she’d gone to so much trouble to get for him, and how she hadn’t cared what trouble had followed because it was worth it. It was different, though, seeing them from his perspective, knowing what those things had meant to him, what they still meant to him.<br/><br/>She felt his faith in her, to not become like her father, and it meant a great deal to know that he believed in her. If she really thought about it, there had never really been a risk of her becoming like him, at least not in the way Jek was thinking. Maybe it was because of her fear of becoming like him, but it was also because that wasn’t who she was. She drank some, but she was careful of how she did because of him. She would never harm a child, especially her own, both because of her own experiences and because she just didn’t have it in her. She couldn’t resent the Jedi because for all of their faults, the galaxy still needed them, and they had still saved her life.<br/><br/>What she feared most was not committing the same acts that he had. What she feared most was losing control of herself, letting the darkness within take over, and becoming a monster that even he couldn’t love. That was the true fear she bore, because she had seen glimpses of this during the war, because she knew that she was capable of that. She had already done many terrible things, sure, they could be justified because it was war, because it was justice, and sometimes those things were done with good intentions, but in the end, could anything really justify it? Even if the terrible things she had done were done for the right reasons, did that make them okay? And what about the ones she’d done when she was filled with rage or anger, even if they served the right cause?<br/><br/>In the end, she knew that she was capable of far worse things, under the right circumstances. But she also knew that as long as he was here with her, she didn’t have to worry about that. He wouldn’t let her become the thing she feared. He brought her light, peace, calm, happiness, and so much more, banishing her fears, her anger, and making the darkness recede. Just like he was now, showing her that he believed in her, showing her glimpses of a future he had seen in the Force, a future where they were happy.<br/><br/>She couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at her lips as he showed her these glimpses, kissing her cheek, letting her feel he love for her and just how much she meant to him. She closed her eyes, relaxing in his arms, breathing easier now, finding comfort in everything he had shown her, in his arms around her. She let go of the pain and the fears and just focused on him, everything he felt for her, everything she felt for him. Nothing else mattered now. She allowed herself to revel in these things until everything else had disappeared and all that remained was the two of them and the love they shared.<br/><br/>She didn’t know how much time had passed, it felt altogether like an eternity and an instance before she repositioned herself, moving to straddle him so that they were face-to-face, her green eyes searching his brown eyes. She cupped his face in her hands, brushing her thumbs across his cheeks gently, as if she were holding something precious and priceless. Her eyes said many things that she didn’t have the words to expression; how much he meant to her, how much she appreciated him, how much she loved him, how badly she wanted a future like the one he had shown her, and how much she wanted him, now and always.<br/><br/>She took a few moments just to take him in, to admire the man she loved, how handsome he was, the kindness and tenderness in his warm brown eyes, all of it. “I love you, Jek,” she told him softly, even though those words didn’t seem like nearly enough to expression how she felt for him. She smiled softly before leaning in to kiss him. It was soft and sweet at first, but it soon deepened into something much more as she poured all her emotions into the kiss. She wanted to show him how much she loved him, how much he meant to her, just as she knew he wanted to prove his love for her.<br/><br/>--<br/><br/>Jax was aware of the size of the backseat, that the alien could have fit in the back by itself, albeit not very comfortably. But that didn’t change what he had said. He would fit, but it would be a tight fit for sleeping, even for him alone. His frame was much larger than hers, his broad shoulders alone would have spanned the width of the seats, leaving no room for her unless she were to lie atop him, or they both laid on their sides, which wouldn’t be very comfortable. At any rate, it had been a joke, so the logistics didn’t particularly matter.<br/><br/>He hadn’t missed how she had grinned when he’d given in and moved his blanket to the speeder. He also didn’t miss her attempts to pointedly stare at the fire rather than him when he had gone to show their recruits a few tricks instead of returning to her side immediately. He felt no annoyance or displeasure with him as he instructed them, so he guessed that she at least didn’t mind how he was instructing them, which he was grateful for. He was trying to find a way to strike some balance, to find a way that was his own, not Jedi or Sith. Perhaps if he could do that, then there might be hope that there was another way in this world besides living at either extreme. But that was a thought for another time.<br/><br/>Once the others were in bed, he focused his attention on her, waiting until the fire had died and he could feel that the other three were asleep before he suggested that they go to bed. He could tell that she was surprised when he’d kissed her, but she hadn’t resisted, instead she’d kissed him back. He was glad for this, as some part of him had been worried she might still be mad and that she might not be willing to go along with his attempts to show her what she meant to him.<br/><br/>He grinned when she wrapped her legs around his waist, making it easier for him to carry her off to the speeder. He tried to be quiet, to avoid waking their recruits, but his main focus was on her, on making good on his promise. Between the two of them, they made quick work of undressing, and he was able to truly focus all his attention on her as he kissed her deeply, allowing his hands to trace across her soft skin.<br/><br/>He poured all of his love, affection, and adoration into every kiss they shared, every kiss he placed on her skin as he took his time enjoying every part of her. He didn’t rush anything as he paid special attention to every part of her that he knew was most sensitive, giving her everything he knew she enjoyed most, wanting to give her as much pleasure as he could, to make sure that he left no doubts in her mind of the love he had for her.<br/><br/>He was attentive to every move, every sound she made, pushing her to the edge over and over, but never pushing her over, not until he was certain that she’d had all she could take, or until she asked it of him. Only then did he allow her to take him inside of her, working towards their mutual pleasure until they both reached orgasm. He stayed above her for a little longer, first catching his breath, and then just looking down at her, affection in his eyes as he gently stroked her cheek.<br/><br/>“I love you,” he told her, his blue eyes sincere, leaving no room for any argument on that point, if there was any left at all. “Never doubt that. I will do anything for you, An. And anything I do is for you,” he added, hoping that she knew this, that she understood that he meant every word of that. He would leave behind the Jedi, who had been his only family, give up everything he knew, even betray those things that mattered most to him, if it was for her.<br/><br/>He never wanted to hurt her. If he did something that hurt her, it was to prevent something that would cause her even more pain in the end, just as with what had happened earlier. He would do whatever it took to protect her, even if it meant that she was mad at him, even if it meant that she doubted him, even if it hurt him. It was all worth it if it was for her benefit.<br/><br/>He gave her another soft kiss before he moved so that she could settle in atop him, pulling the blankets around them. He cradled her gently in his arms, kissing the top of her head before leaning his head back to stare up at the speeder’s cover above them, hiding the stars from view. One arm cradled her against him, the other traced lightly, absentmindedly across her skin. He couldn’t help but wonder what the future would hold for them.