Aeris didn’t miss that her question had been something Jek was not prepared for, nor did she miss the feelings that he felt when she had looked at him that way. It had not been intentional, but she didn’t dislike his reaction. He surprised her in return when he leaned in, cupping her cheek with his hand and kissing her softly. She closed her eyes, savoring the moment, the soft feel of his lips on hers, the sweet taste of the drink that lingered on his lips as she kissed him back with the same sweet tenderness. The moment came to an end far too soon when the server returned with the food, forcing them apart.<br/><br/>She leaned back in her seat as the food was placed on the table and he made sure it was in front of her, knowing she was hungry. She gave him a thankful smile before she began to eat. As she did, he reached behind him and produced the book she had given him so many years ago. She couldn’t help but feel happy, knowing he had held onto it all this time, even carrying it with him here. He then spoke up, answering her earlier question and she nearly choked on her food when he told her that they were leaving the Jedi. She coughed instinctively to keep the food from actually doing just that, took a swig of her drink, and then she looked at him with obvious surprise. He added the word “unofficially” and she quirked a brow lightly, curious as to what he meant by that.<br/><br/>She took another small bite of the food, watching as he traced a finger along the cover of the book, his mind showing her the things he remembered, of the mission from the Council, the importance that had been placed on the success on the mission, and the weight on both him and Jax to see it through. “I see,” she replied after swallowing. She also felt that which he shared with her, the reasons he had taken the mission, the reasons why they both had.<br/><br/>She leaned back in her chair as she looked at him, seeing the sincerity in his eyes as he continued, feeling it through their bond. He really meant that. All of it. Of course, he did. Of course, he would do whatever it took to remain with her. She understood that very well. She’d almost gone back to the Jedi, if only to see him one more time. And now that he was here with her, there wasn’t much she wouldn’t do to hold onto to. And to protect him? She wasn’t sure that there was anything in this universe she wouldn’t do. It scared her just how far she would go, honestly. She guessed that was why the Jedi forbid attachment. Then again, it might scare her, but it wouldn’t stop her.<br/><br/>She was quiet after he finished, kissing her cheek after telling her that he would do whatever she wanted and whatever the Force decided. She thought about it, trying to take it all in. She tried to come up with something, to make some decision, but in the end, she simply looked at him, touching his cheek with a feather-light touch, as if touching something valuable and extremely precious. “Is it… okay if I don’t have an answer now?” she asked, her finger gently sliding down his cheek with the same light touch before she pulled her hand back. “I just… I don’t know what the right thing to do is right now,” she admitted honestly.<br/><br/>“I haven’t really known what to do since the Mandalorian War ended. I almost went back to the Jedi when the war was over, to see you again and to face their judgment. Something stopped me every time, though. I guess the Force thought I was where I needed to be,” she shrugged, “I left because people were dying, and I couldn’t stand to sit on my hands and wait while they continued to die. But now, I don’t even know what we’re fighting for,” she admitted for the first time. She continued eating her food as she considered everything, not wanting it to get cold or go to waste.<br/><br/>She wanted nothing more than to just hop on a ship and run, to take him and get away, find some Outer Rim planet where they could escape the Jedi, Sith, this whole war. Yet, no matter how badly she wanted to be selfish, she felt somewhere in her heart that she couldn’t do that, nor could she let him do that. They couldn’t just turn their backs on the galaxy and run away, they didn’t have it in them to do that. Well, that wasn’t true; she definitely did have it in her, but she was trying to be better, to make the right choice. For his sake, if not for hers.<br/><br/>She wondered if he would really be happy leaving the Jedi. He meant what he said, she knew that, and she knew that if he remained a Jedi, they couldn’t be together and that thought tore her up inside. She also didn’t want to become someone he resented one day or be the cause of his regret. “Can we go to the ship and just plan for you to continue your mission, at least for now?” she asked, wanting more time to process everything. It was only a suggestion, and she would be amenable to other options; if he wished to remain on the planet for tonight, that would also be acceptable. It was late, after all. The where didn’t matter, as long as he was there.<br/><br/>“I want to be with you.” She told him as she reached out, touching his cheek again before leaning in to kiss him once more. It was soft and sweet, but this time filled with longing. She had to rein herself in, reminding herself of where they were so that she didn’t linger too long before she pulled back.  She leaned back in her seat and looked at him earnestly, “I can’t be the reason you do something you regret. I can’t become someone you regret being with or resent. I won’t,” she explained, “so I have to make the right decision.”<br/><br/>--<br/><br/>Jax could feel when she tensed and felt the urge to run, yet he also felt that her desire to run was not born of an actual desire to be apart from him but of something else. Fear, perhaps? He couldn’t quite tell, but whatever the reason, it seemed that the desire had melted over when he kissed her. He felt a million different things when she kissed him back with the same strength, her arms wrapping around his neck as she did. He suddenly forgot why he hadn’t done this all those years ago. Whatever the reason had been felt insignificant now as he held her, regretting having not done this a thousand times by now.<br/><br/>Still, he eventually set her down and released her from the kiss, although he did not let her go. He begged her not to run, not wanting to lose her again. He thanked star and god he knew of when her hugged him and he felt as though he had his answer. She wouldn’t leave. He swallowed hard to force down the lump that had lodged itself in his throat while he waited for her answer. He held her close until the ramp hissed and they both pulled back just enough to look at one another.<br/><br/>He could see emotions swirling in her eyes as she looked up at him, although he couldn’t make out each one. He didn’t have time to wonder, though, because she had pulled him down into another kiss and he gladly complied, kissing her back with the same strength and desire that almost bordered on need. The soft click of boots on the ramp caused her to pull away and he glanced up at the owner of the boots before looking back at An when she swatted his shoulder.<br/><br/>“I know, I know,” he replied with his hands held up in surrender when she called him and idiot before adding that it took him long enough. He smirked a little, “I was definitely an idiot,” he admitted, nodding a bit. He resisted teasing her by telling her that if he’d known what he was missing, he would have never hesitated. Teasing and joking though it may have been, it was true enough that it would probably earn him an angry fist to the face, and he was not too eager to earn one of those.<br/><br/>He quirked a brow when the healer said nothing, just turned right back around and left, presumably expecting that she would follow. He reluctantly released her so that she could get the wound checked, suddenly regretting that he had never learned any healing skills. He smiled a little when she took his hand, pulling him along with her. "Would it kill you to ask nicely?" he teased, but he complied with no resistance, more than happy to follow her wherever she would go.<br/><br/>He had always felt that way. He would have followed her anywhere; he would have even followed her into the depths of hell itself if she’d asked. Perhaps that was why she had not. Had she been trying to protect him this whole time? Trying not to corrupt him, to let him be a Jedi, to make sure that he was<span style="font-style: italic">good</span>? As he considered his, his hand tightened around hers, almost as if to thank her for trying to protect him.<br/><br/>As they headed for the infirmary, he continued to wonder about her reasoning, why she wanted to protect him, if she thought he would be happier in the Jedi without her than with her apart from the Jedi, or if there was some other reason. He thought that, perhaps, he might ask her about this one day, but for now, he was content with being here with her. He did make a mental note to remind her later of what was really most important to him—her. For now, he followed her to the infirmary and stood nearby but out of the way as the healer checked her over and tended to her wound.