Miranda could not help but turn a bright shade of red when she realized what she had done.  What was she thinking about when she did that?  She knew she was thinking she had entered her depressed mind and was trying to remember things and all she seemed to remember was Thomas and the feelings that she had for him.  She would have never kissed him if she had been in her right mind and now she hated herself for doing it.  Everything came to the surface when he pulled away from her and told her he knew that she loved Brettly and that was never going to happen again.<br/><br/>After the revelation Miranda crawled off of Thomas lap and moved over to her side of the bed and started to cry.  She really hated herself at the moment and all she wanted to do was bury herself in a hole and hide away from everyone.  She didn’t have the right to be with Brettly or anyone at the moment.  She was in no state to be with anyone because all of her feelings were mashed together like they had been put into a giant blender.  “Just go away Thomas; everyone needs to just go away.  I don’t deserve anyone.”  Miranda cried.<br/><br/>Miranda wanted Thomas right now because she didn’t remember Brettly right now, but then she wanted Brettly right now so she wouldn’t harp on her feelings about Thomas.  Why did the damn feelings come up all of a sudden?  “Why couldn’t I have died it would have been better for everyone.”  Miranda continued to cry.  Not wanting to be touched by anyone, or comforted nor did she deserve it.  “I just want to be locked away and then I can’t hurt Brettly or you and that’s all I have ever done.  Why do I have to remembering loving one person, but not the person I am supposed to?”  Miranda reached over to her dresser and grabbed the bottle of pills and looked at them.  It would be so easy for her just to open then and take the whole thing.  The one person who she thought would never reject her just did and she felt all alone in the world and the one person she knew could help was dead.<br/><br/>Mirand was so lost in crying she didn't hear her phone go off.  'Mira my love I am coming home. '