After Jek agreed with him that the closer cantina was the better option. He led the way to the cantina, which was only a few minutes walk from the transportation hub. Once inside, he glanced around. It was pretty busy, and the available seats were scattered throughout the cantina, leaving nowhere for them to sit together. After a moment, Jek nudged him and he followed the man’s gaze to a table that was being vacated. He nodded, following him as they weaved their way through the patrons and tables to the table that was being cleaned.<br/><br/>He took a seat at the table once it was cleaned, taking a look around the room. He looked up when a server approached to take their order. He ordered two small mixed drinks and a plate of one of their light appetizers for the two to share. He wasn’t all that hungry, but he didn’t want to sit here without ordering at least something to eat. Besides, he was hoping that this would taste better. Once the server had left, he glanced to Jek and then around the room. It was a bit larger than the last one they had been in, and their location wasn’t as ideal, so it was not as easy to divide the room evenly. He shook his head,<span style="font-style: italic">“I did not, I just felt that we should be here,”</span>he admitted.<br/><br/>He chose to let the Force guide him as he looked around the room and focused on the conversations around them, trying to weed out anything that wasn’t useful. He heard someone a few tables over talking about a raid on a noble’s house one town over. They hadn’t mentioned the Sith, but he could read between the lines. He thanked the server with a smile when their drinks were placed on the table and then his smile faded to a frown.<span style="font-style: italic">“Yes. It seems that there was a raid in the next town over,”</span>he looked at him with concern.<br/><br/>There was nothing they could do for them right now, but he guessed that there were probably more Force Sensitives around, so it seemed likely that they would not be leaving immediately. Not that it mattered. They were not here to prevent these Force Sensitives from being taken, as much as he wanted to. He sighed,<span style="font-style: italic">“There are probably more. But how can be stop them without suspicion falling on us?”</span>he asked, wondering if there was a way. Some part of him wanted to just rush off to the next town, to find the Sith and try to find a way to save whoever it was that was being taken. But that was not the mission and taking a speeder bike into the wilderness after dark was dangerous. It would be impulsive and foolhardy, both things he was not known for being.<br/><br/>He sighed to himself and took a drink of the liquid they had been given, it tasted sweet and somehow eased his mind a little. He tried not to think about the things they could not change. It would do not good. As he thought that, the server placed the plate of food in the middle of the table. “Thanks,” he said, focusing on the food, which appeared to be some mixture of local vegetables and meat wrapped in a thin wrapping. He took one of them and took a bite, enjoying the various flavors and textures. “Much better,” he said, seeming to perk up a little bit as he finished the roll in only a few bites.<br/><br/><span style="font-style: italic">“Can I ask you something?”</span>Jax asked, not waiting for the other man to answer before he asked,<span style="font-style: italic">“You seem… I wouldn’t say closed off,”</span>he paused,<span style="font-style: italic">“Perhaps reserved is a better word?”</span>he wondered and then shook his head,<span style="font-style: italic">“You haven’t really opened yourself up to the Force since before when we meditated,”</span>he observed.<span style="font-style: italic">“Why is that?”</span>he wondered. What was it that he was afraid of? Then again, he guessed it wasn’t really his business, and it wasn’t as though he minded leading the way, but the nice thing about having a partner was the different perspectives, different talents, different senses that each could offer. He wasn’t complaining at all, but he was a bit worried for his friend, and admittedly, he was a bit curious.<br/><br/>--------<br/><br/>Aeris couldn’t help but feel a bit disappointed by An-Lok’s words. They were true, she guessed, but perhaps not what she wanted or needed to hear at that moment. She didn’t know what exactly she had expected her to say, anyways. Then again, maybe she did. “You’re wrong,” she shook her head, “We’re both being stupid. We’ve made mistakes, sure. Everyone does. It doesn’t mean we deserve to be miserable for the rest of ours lives. We deserve to be happy just like everyone else,” she asserted, “And so what if they grew up under the Jedi? So did we, for all the good it did us. We chose to leave, that was our choice and maybe our mistake. But damn it, we aren’t the only ones who made a choice! They chose to let us go, they chose to stay instead of following after us,” she was breathing heavily, feeling a hint of the anger she had felt after leaving coming back to the surface before she pushed it down and the anger was replaced by sadness. “The point is, we all made mistakes. Maybe we made more, I don’t know, but I have to believe that we can find some redemption somehow,” she said, her shoulders slumping a little.<br/><br/>“If you don’t want to go, fine. But you are making a mistake,” she told her matter-of-factly. “If we let fear guide out actions, we would never accomplish anything. And if we live our lives stuck in the past, we have no future,” she told her, determination filling her heart again. “I know you’re afraid of what he will think, that he’ll judge you, but is not knowing how he feels really better? And what if you’re wrong? What if he doesn’t care and you leave him again without even giving him a chance?” she asked, shaking her head and sighing.<br/><br/>“Don’t you think I feel the same? I’m so ashamed of what I’ve done and who I’ve become that I can’t sleep, I can’t stay still, I can’t even look in the damn mirror anymore!” she replied, trying not to sound as frustrated as she was, “I’m mad at myself, too. And I’m mad at him. But none of these feelings will ever change if I don’t do something,” she explained, clenching her hands into fists, “I’m so tired of being mad, of being sad, of feeling restless, lonely, afraid, ashamed, like I don’t belong anywhere, even in my own skin. I can’t live this way anymore. I just can’t,” she looked at her and suddenly released the tension that had taken over her muscles.<br/><br/>“I have to face what I did. I can’t keep running from it and letting it define me. I need… at least one person to forgive me,” she said, not looking at the other woman, hiding the sadness in her eyes. She felt frustrated with herself that she dared to think about or talk about redemption or forgiveness while she continued to make the same mistakes over and over again. Here she was, turning over these children for a cause she wasn’t even sure she believed in anymore. What were they even fighting for now? But she could have a crisis of conscience another time, she guessed, although she had unintentionally allowed these feelings to cross their bond, looking away when she realized this.<br/><br/>“Take care of the kids. I’ll find you later. We still haven’t fully completed our mission,” the latter words came out empty and they left a bitter taste in her mouth as she waved to An over her shoulder, not looking back at her or at the children as she walked away. She didn’t have it in her to. If she did… She was afraid of what she might do. For now, she needed to figure out exactly where the other two were, then she would work out the details of whether she could start traveling tonight or not. She certainly wouldn’t be sleeping, after all, she would rather face the dark wilderness and whatever beasts came out at night than face the demons in her own mind.<br/><br/>For now, she returned to the speeder they had left behind earlier, surprised that it was still there and in one piece. She hopped into the drivers seat and slumped down into the seat, trying unsuccessfully to banish all of the feelings that bubbled inside of her. “Damn it,” she slammed her fist into the console of the vehicle. Thankfully she had the presence of mind not to use the Force, otherwise she might have done more damage than just a dent. She then slumped a little more in the seat, sinking low enough that her head was not visible from behind the vehicle. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and reached out in the Force to try to locate Jek and Jax.