<span style="color: #FF80FF"> <span style="font-weight: bold"><span style="font-size: 150%; line-height: 116%;"><div style="text-align: center;">Lea Stevens</div></span></span> </span><br/><div style="text-align: center;"><a class="postlink" href="http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/nn24/SociallyToxicBeauty/036e0d3a-b28c-47ec-b858-0eaea6c67e4d.jpg">[ img ]</a></div><br/><span style="font-weight: bold"><span style="font-size: 150%; line-height: 116%;"><span style="color: #FF80FF"><div style="text-align: center;">"Jazz"</div></span></span></span><br/><br/>Lea shook her head furiously,<span style="color: #FF80FF"> "Stop it! Stop taking the blame for everything!"</span>Despite only blaming him a few moments prior, Lea could see that everything happening was her own fault. Sure, she blamed people for pushing her towards what she was doing--but the reality was she chose to do it.<span style="color: #FF80FF">"You're an idiot if you think that they'll be okay with knowing you are on the force and if someone else finds out you got involved in this shit, your life will be ruined. People at the precinct can forgive you for being around me--they all think I am just some pathetic little girl who needs help and you were my partner. They won't bat a lash at that, but if you start trying to help me with this sort of shit they'll flay you alive!" </span><br/><br/>Lea was terrified of Carlos getting anymore involved than he was. Everyone at the club at seen him dragging her out to his car the day before last, so she was probably going to be in some shit anyway. The guys she worked with would believe that the cop had flushed her shit, but they would still expect her to fork over some money, give them replacement pills, or do some crazy ass job that no one else would do--assuming they gave her a chance to explain and didn't outright kill her first. Typically they were really nice guys, but she had seen them pissed before at others for screwing up...it wasn't pretty.<br/><br/>She struggled to get out of Carlos' hold, somehow managing and stood. She winced, but it didn't matter. She had to get ready to go to work. Maybe she could find that ex-narcotic's cop and see what he was up to, if he wasn't dead. He had been worse off than her, as he had been far too deep in the game to be anywhere near safe. Still, she had to try.<span style="color: #FF80FF">"Just don't do it, Carlos. It's a bad idea. Just let me handle it. I've been a cop just like you are, we both know how these things go. I know these guys, I know how they act, I know how they'll respond. I've been on both sides of the fence, so please...just...let me take care of it. If something happens, you can say I told you so, but for right now just let me get this shit cleaned up,"</span>Lea begged, her heart pounding in her chest as she awaited Carlos' response.<br/><br/>Carlos was a good guy with a shit past, he didn't need to color it any worse than it was. It made her angry that he was so willing to throw what little bit of goodness he had left away in trying to help her. For some reason, she saw it as selfish. He wouldn't be just doing it for her, he'd be doing it for himself because he didn't want to lose her--which was ridiculous. She wasn't worth having around anyway, stupid as she was. She was craving a hit, though she tried to ignore it. She did want to get better, but damn if the cravings were strong. Even knowing what kind of shit she was in, she just wanted to take a shot and sniff a line. It was the only thing that kept her feeling sane.<br/><br/>At the moment, she just felt like she couldn't control anything about herself. Her emotions were up and down, her body ached, her head was booming from stress, and she was beyond depressed. If the wind hit her the wrong way, she was sure she would cry. It had only been twenty four hours since her last hit, and less than that since her last drink. She was sure she was going to die. The feeling was overwhelming and she didn't think she was strong enough to handle it.<br/><span style="color: #FF80FF"><br/>"Fucking Christ..." </span>she muttered, putting her face into her hands.