The silence that settled in was deafening, the lot of them looking over at their sister as though waiting for her to retaliate. For a split second, she thought she may have just screwed her chances at uniting the kingdoms, instead bringing death upon her own head. And that silence continued, her violet eyes finding Abby, and holding her gaze while waiting for what may come, not regretting speaking her mind, much to her own shock.<br/><br/>But, the King spoke, breaking that silence and there was a mental sigh of relief, keeping her face as calm as possible, only turning her attention away when Ivor spoke to her, nodding in agreement. â€œPerhaps another time; I am really tired...â€ Maria replied with an apologetic glance, this time not minding that his hand remained on hers, that he squeezed it and kept that connection. At least<span style="font-style: italic">he'd</span>found the humor in her words and hadn't taken her to be too bold or brash in her remarks, so it let her rest easy that she wouldn't be put to death right then.<br/><br/>At the end of the meal, she retired to her room, her mind wandered, the ladies-in-waiting flitting about to help her prepare for the night. It was after one of her ladies had almost left the room completely that she hesitantly called her back, looking worried in the only context in which it'd be understandable. The jealousy she'd held of the strumpet seeing him before she did had melted away and all that'd remained was concern.<br/><br/>â€œHe's in his own room, being attended to, resting comfortably,â€ she'd been told. â€œHe's in the other side of the palace, but it's not too hard to find. I could take you there another time?â€<br/><br/>For the first time since she'd gotten there, her smile was genuine. â€œThank you..â€ Maria murmured with a nod, before she was left alone for the night.<br/><br/>The next day was slow, far more laid back now that she wasn't getting constant reports of a war, everything ceasing with the promise of their union. Instead of worrying to hear a ledger of the souls lost, she meandered about, getting more acquainted with those attending to her directly, and sketching the landscape for something to do. As she'd yet to find a way to sneak a book into her room, reading was temporarily unavailable, so sketching, playing the fortepiano, and...needlepoint. She'd have gone to find him, but didn't want to seem too eager, thinking that one day of a reprieve, to allow him to rest and allow her to adjust, would be enough.<br/><br/>That day ended the same as the first, with a good dinner and surprisingly good conversation.<br/><br/>However, the day that followed was the brightest...and lowest, depending on how you looked at it. Her father, after hearing of the attack, had sent forward some of the items from home, including a new wardrobe, and a familiar face to keep her company while she settled in: Simprina. It was the first time that she'd truly been happy to see her, even if she wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was a familiar face, a kind woman, despite her priorities being â€œwoefully out of placeâ€ in Maria's eyes.<br/><br/>The downfall to this...was the resurfacing of the corset. With the many dresses that her father sent over, came the one contraption she'd have to wear in order to fit into the fabrics. So, Simprina, along with the gaggle of new ladies, helped her into the corset, then wrapped her in the fabrics and buttoned her in. Her hair was left more simple, hanging in golden curls down her back with a few braids entwined to hold back the unrulier ones at the front.<br/><br/>If she admitted it to herself, she was nervous about seeing BrÃ¡dach, wondering how he'd look, how badly he'd been injured and how much he'd be able to heal from those injuries. Simprina had asked if she could accompany her, but Maria conveniently had the excuse of leaving her behind to make sure her room was put together as it should be, and meandered down alone. The previous day, she'd taken a walk down the halls and along the staircases, and found which hall he was down. This time, it was solely a matter of finding the door itself.<br/><br/>A few cautious knocks here or there, a head poking into each door and finding no one right off, she stopped when she heard something she hadn't behind the other doors, a steady breathing. A gentle knock and she opened the door, eyes instantly following the shadows along the floor to the bed and it felt as though all the air rushed from her lungs in that moment. There was relief, surely, that he'd survived and was still mending...but guilt that he'd been hurt so badly, because she'd not just let things go and had pushed for something more than she should have asked for.<br/><br/>Unsure of whether or not he'd actually want her there, she didn't enter the room much further, merely watching for a moment before finally breaking down and speaking into the quiet of the room. â€œ...BrÃ¡dach?â€<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF0000">Sleep. That is all he felt like he did anymore, or more that he felt he had the energy for anymore. Even when they fed him, or came to him to change his bandages, Brad had the hardest time to remain awake for any of it. And, when he slept he dreamed.<br/><br/><span style="font-style: italic">He was once again that boy in the woods with his mother, her smile bright, warm and comforting while she chased him about the grass outside. It was a warm day, the sun shone bright and today would be the day that father came to see them. It was the perfect day.....<br/><br/>Then the clouds rolled in and it all got cold. So very cold....<br/><br/>His mother was gone and he was older. <br/><br/>â€œMother....Mother?!â€ he called for her and ran, as he tried to find her. <br/><br/>â€œAHHHHH!!â€ a woman screamed but it was not his mother...it was...<br/><br/>â€œMARIA!â€ he shouted, ran and tried to find her. Then there she was suddenly, on the floor her body lifeless and unmoving. â€œNo...no...no...not again...â€ he ran for her, but with every step closer to her that he got the further he seemed to get. â€œNo! Maria!â€</span><br/><br/>His name whispered roused him from the dream, though it was more of a nightmare and he groaned while his eyes opened and tried to focus. â€œHmmm...wh...â€ he sat up slightly and smiled when he saw her. â€œMaria, hiâ€ his voice was a little horse from like of use but the smile was still there. â€œCome here,â€ he waved her over and patted the bed. â€œIt's so good to see you,â€ he spoke with sincerity. â€œEverything ok? No one told me anything, though I have not been awake enough to comprehend much of anything,â€ he smiled at her, truly glad to see her.</span><br/><br/>Though he'd roused shortly after she practically whispered his name, she'd been tempted to leave the room, to let him sleep some more, the feeling of guilt only becoming exponentially greater as she saw him laying there. Yes, he'd survived, but he was in that position because of her. Had she not indulged in what she'd wanted, he'd have slept better, slept more prepared. He'd not have had to fight in the manner he had just to get them out. He wouldn't have had to take arrows for her...<br/><br/>But, he was already waking up, the smile temporarily sating the urge to leave him be, hesitantly walking over and sitting on the edge of his bed. The fact that he seemed truly sincere in his want to see her had her own smile pulling at her lips, eyes softening as her hand momentarily rested over his, a small gesture like that they'd shared over dinner some nights ago. Even with just that small touch, her heart skipped a beat, something that she also chose to ignore, eyes falling to his hand beneath her own before allowing her violet gaze to travel up to his.<br/><br/>â€œEverything has been fine...â€ she replied, voice still soft. â€œNo one told me much of anything, either...Something about a woman's mind and violent images...â€ There was a wave of her other hand, and a small shrug. â€œHow badly we-...are...you hurt?â€<br/><br/>And there it was, another wave of guilt, but she pushed it back. At least, for now, she'd focus on the fact that he was able to talk, even if his voice was rough.<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF0000">"Nothing too bad," he promised, his hand shifted so that it was onto of her own, his thumb smoothed across her hand slowly. "Some arrows and a cut....nothing too bad," he smiled and looked about the room, just to ensure they were alone. "Did they...do anything to you? Like...treat you bad? Or harm you?" this was a great concern for him. If they had found out about them, they would....he did not even want to think about what they would do to her.</span><br/><br/>As his hand shifted, her eyes fell back down to it, almost marveling at it, but it made her feel far better than Ivor's touch. The calluses on his hands, they were hard, but soft...it was a tender touch... Ivor's was just soft, and soft, and while his touch, too, was gentle...it wasn't the same. And, even if he said it wasn't much...it hadn't seemed so minimal.<br/><br/>Though, when his questions turned to her, her gaze dropped, focusing more on his hand again. Finally, she shook her head. â€œNo...No, they haven't hurt me, or treated me bad...â€ Maria answered. â€œThey...â€ She glanced around, too, before her eyes flit nervously up to his own. â€œThey don't know...â€ Her voice dropped dramatically on the last three words, shaking her head and once again focusing on his hand. â€œI've been more left to just...get used to it all, for now, I think...â€<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF0000">That made him sigh with relief, that meant he had time to get strong so that if he needed to he could defend her and get her to safety. "I'm sorry....I should not have....we...." he stammered to try and apologize for something that in his heart he was not sorry about, at least only sorry that it could get her in trouble. <br/><br/>Another sigh and he laid his head back, "So, they are treating you nicely?" he said after a moment.</span><br/><br/>He was sorry... Sorry meant regret. Sorry meant a regret of what they'd done. Did he really regret what they'd done? What they'd shared? Yes, she knew she shouldn't have, and yes, she knew that it wasn't something she should have even considered...<br/><br/>But would she change it? No.<br/><br/>Ignoring his question just then, she glanced around again, as though something could have changed without her noticing in the short amount of time since she'd last looked. â€œ...Do you...â€ A pause, brows pulling together and her words failing her, before she managed to pull it together. â€œ...Do you regret it? What we...?â€ Letting the question drop off, she knew he'd fill in the blank.<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF0000">â€œYes," he answered quickly without hesitation. "But, only because I don't want you to get....to be...." he would have shrugged if the action did not cause him pain. "I'm concerned for you now...." he tried to explain. <br/><br/>How could he ever regret that moment? The way it felt? The sound of her as she moaned his name, how she felt when she climaxed around him. None of that would he ever regret for as long as he lived. Not one time would he ever regret it. Especially as it could never happen again.</span><br/><br/>â€œ...Well I don't regret it...â€<br/><br/>It took a while for that answer to come out, but it eventually did. After another silence had settled over them, after his words had sat on her shoulders long after his own explanation had tapered off and died, did she speak. â€œI don't regret it...And I won't regret it...no matter what happens...â€ Her eyes dropped, and there was another shrug. â€œFor the first time, I really did something...because I wanted to...And, no matter the outcome...I'm glad I...we...did what we did...â€<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF0000"><span style="font-style: italic">Why did this have to be so hard? Why did he have to want a woman that he could never have?</span><br/><br/>There were no words that he could say, that he would be allowed to say. Instead he just brought her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. <br/><br/>â€œIf you can be so brave in the face of what might never happen, who am I to not be honest and be the same?â€ he whispered to her. â€œI will never regret what we shared and I will carry it with me always,â€ he whispered to her and raised the back of her hand to his cheek and held it there for a moment. <br/><br/>â€œIf only....â€ he said softly after a moment before he lowered her hand and set it back down on the bed. â€œSo...um what is the Prince like? Got freckles? An overbite? Buck teeth?â€</span><br/><br/>She wasn't sure how well that would go over, if she were speaking out of turn and would end up being chastised for allowing herself to think in that way. That she should regret it, and that it wasn't fair of her to throw those feelings around so carelessly. ...It was what her mind was telling her, anyway, so she thought it'd be echoed.<br/><br/>But it wasn't...Instead he kissed the back of her hand, her eyes dropping to it before slowly bringing her eyes to his, pulling her lower lip in to bite on to keep from saying something right then. What was there to say really? That she'd seriously considered running away with him the very morning they were attacked? Just to see the â€œwhat if'sâ€ play out?<br/><br/>Her thoughts stopped as he put her hand back down on the bed, and relinquished it completely. That had her raising it to tuck hair behind her ear and then just rest it in her lap, eyes focusing on said lap as she couldn't look at him straight, not after...<br/><br/>â€œNo freckles...â€ Maria answered as casually as she could, pulling at the nonexistent loose threads of her dress. â€œHe's...I don't know...slightly muscular? I mean, not as much as...â€ Again, her words tapered off, not wanting to compare the two as her mind instantly drifted to what they'd done, a flush rising to her cheeks. â€œ...As for the rest, I haven't really noticed...â€<br/><br/>It wasn't a lie, she really hadn't. Apart from the long hair and his build, she hadn't paid much attention, now that he was asking.<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF0000">â€œNot as muscular as....me?â€ he asked his tone just a bit teasing and playful. â€œI doubt there are many that come close to me and how big I am,â€ he chuckled, then fell silent after a moment. â€œLook...if he...hurts you or does anything to you, will you let me know? I don't want you in here thinking you don't have anyone you can trust. I am going to be here a while with my injuries, so you will have me for a while yet....â€<br/><br/>Briefly, he thought to offer her the chance to run away and be with him. Life would be hard not what she would be used to, but at least it would be theirs and not someone else's.</span><br/><br/>There was again a noticeable blush, but she ignored it, focusing even more pointedly on her dress for a while, allowing his words to sink in.<br/><br/>It was nice to know that she could go to him if needed, as she didn't feel like she'd have anyone else to go to if she needed them, if everything went south. While she had Simprina, she wouldn't be trusted by anyone that mattered solely for her rank, and it was them against the whole of Sirmia if things didn't work out. Just to have another there, even only in temporary capacity meant the world to her.<br/><br/>...What didn't mean the world to her, was how he'd tried to play off his injuries earlier and would now be a while due to them. â€œ...How badly are you injured?â€ she asked again. â€œHow long will you be laid up?â€<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF0000">She seemed intent on his injuries, which made him sigh a bit, because he did not want her to feel guilty about any of this. â€œThe arrows nearly punctured my lungs, nicked them a bit, but not enough to be dangerous. The...knife wound....well..that was pretty bad, but it got stopped by one of my ribs, but the bastard managed to crack a rib,â€ another sigh as he resisted the urge to shrug. â€œOverall,  I will be in here about a week, then another two before I am able fit to travel, if not a bit more, depending on how well I heal up,â€ he admitted it all to her, because there really was no sense in hiding it from her. <br/><br/>â€œReally, not that bad though. See?â€ he shifted the blankets about and moved so that she could see his bandaged chest. Of course the bandages were fresh, he would not have shown her the blood soaked ones. These were clean and white, made it look a lot less severe than his wounds were. Sure he almost died, but he had done it to protect her. To him it had been worth it.</span><br/><br/>She'd known. She'd known it'd been worse than he'd let on and to hear it laid out like that...<br/><br/>There were tears that welled up, though she refused to let them fall, or let him see. Instead, she just turned her head while she got them under control, the nervous habit of picking at her dress stopping completely; Only so that she could keep herself together and focus all energy on it, but it was a start. She went dead silent, not even wanting to look at whatever bandages he had covering his wounds.<br/><br/>Just hearing about them was enough.<br/><br/>Taking her time to make sure her voice wouldn't shake, she kept breathing steadily, until finally replying to him. â€œWell...â€ Maria started, softly. â€œLets hope you don't heal up wrong...You've been through enough with just the...initial assault...let alone something setting wrong...â€<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF0000">"Maria," he spoke her name softly, as he wanted to look at her when he spoke. "None of this is your fault. It is part of my life. I get bumps and bruises, but then I get better. I promise that you are not getting rid of me that easy, ok?" he said with a smile.</span><br/><br/>She didn't want to look at him, even if his voice sounded as though he wanted her to, and it left her warring. The tears hadn't quite receded enough to trust herself to look, but the way he'd said his name... Slowly turning to look at him, her face remained worried, remained guilty, despite the smile and the way he tried to justify it.<br/><br/>â€œIt is my fault, though...â€ Maria answered, voice barely above a whisper. â€œThose aren't bumps or bruises, and you didn't have anything near you because of me...How is this not my fault?â€<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF0000">He sighed and reached for her hand, "I had nothing about me because there was something more important that I had to focus on." He kissed her hand again and sighed, "What happened and how it happened is as much my own fault as anyone's, but..." another kiss. "Remember we are not regretting what happened. Not for a second and not one thing," another kiss and her hand was rested on his cheek once more. <br/><br/>This was not right, not what they should be doing, what he should be doing, but he could not help himself. He wanted to comfort her, to make her feel better. To reassure her. Even if it was just torture to do so and not be able to ever do more.</span><br/><br/>It was all so backward. He was trying to comfort her when he was the one who was laid up, battered and broken. Each kiss, while it burned and added a sense of comfort, didn't help to nullify the guilt. Naturally, her thumb smoothed over his cheek as it rested there, her eyes not leaving his while she kept there. â€œI'll make sure you get what you need...No matter what,â€ she promised, a tear threatening to fall, but she held it back. â€œI promise...It's the least I can do.â€<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF0000"><span style="font-style: italic">What if what he needed was...her?</span> Such a thought and the feelings that were brought forth from it caused within him a longing that he knew he could never satisfy. <br/><br/>Another sigh and he indulged in the feel of her hand for a bit longer, while he warred with himself and what he wanted to say to her, though he never could. After another moment or two, he kissed her hand once more and then lowered it back to the bed, â€œWhen I am better I could use someone to go for walks with me. Show me around and make sure I don't hurt myself more....â€ he grinned.</span><br/><br/>Another kiss, and her hand was lowered, her mind already wondering if she dared keep the contact, if she dared seek out his hand, or even just a shoulder...Just...something to touch. In the end, though, she knew it'd just make things harder. It always did. Her hand was replaced in her lap, and a small smile pulled at her lips at what he said next.<br/><br/>Walks. That meant more time that she could see him, talk with him, spend with him. Even if brief, it'd be memories she could hold to after he...<span style="font-style: italic">after he leaves.</span>â€œYou do seem to be prone to getting hurt, huh?â€ she replied as casually as possible, trying to hide what little excitement she did feel at the prospect. â€œIf not being slapped by me, then the ground is smacking you in the face. You'll definitely need me as your bodyguard...Just to make sure you don't hurt yourself further.â€<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF0000">"Oh how lucky I am," he chuckled and managed to hide the pain that came from the simple action. Then his head tilted to the side slightly and he sighed, "The doctors are coming to check on me, you should be going...." he frowned at the thought of being without her. "Think you will stop by tomorrow, too?" he asked somewhat hopeful.</span><br/><br/>The way he sounded, it made her want to promise that she'd be there, that she'd be able to come without a shadow of a doubt, even if for only a few minutes. But, she didn't know what the schedule was like for tomorrow either, so she didn't dare promise something she couldn't keep. â€œ...I'll try to get here tomorrow, as well, so long as god permits it,â€ Maria assured him with a nod before standing and adjusting her skirts out of habit. â€œI'll be seeing you, BrÃ¡dach...â€<br/><br/>And, before she lost her nerve, she leaned over to press a quick kiss to his cheek before hastening out of the room, the door silently closing behind her.