Shadow stood at attention, maintaining a stone stone face void emotionless outward facade.<br/><br/><span style="font-style: italic"><span style="text-decoration: underline">"For the love of the light, Shadow!" </span></span><br/><br/>The sudden out burst and brake in Ilia's loftu Aes Sedai's countenance  spelled victory! Shadow of course maintained his military bering... he focused on the white plaster on the wall, letting her fly into another fit of fury desperate to get his attention and to acknowledge her over the unique patterns in the white wall... sometimes if he stared hard enough he could picture a whole battle scene unfolding...all on that white wall!<br/><br/><span style="font-style: italic"><span style="text-decoration: underline">"Why were you so upset? What could I have possibly said to set you off?"</span></span><br/><br/>She began to pace, Shadow forced himself not to smile... how did Lan make that face? he emptied himself... he relaxed all tension in his face... deadpan... stare at the all... even if she got right in his face, he kept his eyes up front staring right through her... the wall... Tarmengedon in the wall, he didn't move, he didn't blink.<br/><br/><span style="text-decoration: underline"><span style="font-style: italic">"Not that it matters! I'm certain I didn't say anything to warrant that tongue lashing! And to wish me ill will?"</span></span><br/><br/>For a moment, Shadow almost broke his bering... he had not wished her ill will! he had confessed his worst night mares! Still he refused to look down... he stared into the white plaster... into the fires of tarmengedon!<br/><br/><span style="font-style: italic"><span style="text-decoration: underline"> "I thought we were friends, Shadow."</span></span><br/><br/>There was crack in the stone... a tear formed, he tilted his chin upward a fraction of inch upward...using gravity to keep it from falling... it was quickly re-absorbed and vanished only if she was studdying him closely would she have realized that she pierced armor.<br/><br/><span style="font-style: italic"><span style="text-decoration: underline"> "We're leaving in a couple days time"</span></span><br/><br/>Shadow stared at the wall, he said nothing...<br/><br/><span style="font-style: italic"><span style="text-decoration: underline">"Are you coming with us?"</span></span><br/><br/>Shadow blinked... but quickly refocused setting his jaw... she still wanted him to come. There was silence, and audible sound made as he swallowed hard... almost if he had been trying to not to weep... that too like the forming of the tear all but vanished and he maintained his military bering.<br/><br/>"Permission, to speak freely, Aes Sedai?" he asked, again a few cracks in his armor appeared as his voice quaked ever so slightly at the end, there was tinge of pain, desperation in it.<br/><br/>Despite already knowing Ilia had been trying to drag a response out of him like dentist trying to yank out a wisdom teeth, Shadow waited patiently for her to grant him the permission.<br/><br/>"With respect, Aes Sedai...I did not wish you ill will... rather I confessed to you my worst nightmares," he said at last... there he had said it, he stared at the wall.<br/><br/>"Bond or no bond...to lose you... would be worse than death," he confessed. "IF the roof had been constructed properly, Moe and I would have been miles ahead of you, scouting, clearing your path and watching over you from afar," he added... up until now he had remained relatively emotionless... but now a he cracked a smile...