Rinzin frowned when Janaff mentioned just barely making it by on his own. "I wish I was there more for you Janaff, I was absent a lot, dealing with family stuff, should have cut free a long time ago, then again I wouldn't have had that... Inheritance, to pay for Seth's freedom if I did. I don't know, I don't usually second guess my decisions, but... I want to do right by the group, you especially, lately I've come to realize I don't give a shit about much, just my friends."<br/><br/>He wasn't sure if he should say what he was thinking, but he eventually realized he really didn't care about anything but his friends. Not his family, not the job, not rank or status or money. It was something he had been really down about before, feeling purposeless. Until he realized the group was all that mattered to him, it's why running off was perfectly okay with him, as long as they were together. And if nothing else mattered, then he should talk about anything that might help Janaff understand him better. "Imagining you suffering, in any way, upsets me more than I've ever have been before, guess Mamma didn't train me well enough after all. That's my real weakness, I hate to admit it, but damn, if anything happened to you, I'd be a broken man, nothing else could stop me, but that would beat me better than any blade. Fuck, when did I get so damn emotional? I wasn't supposed to be like this, I was supposed to be cold, calculating, nerves of steel, the perfect killer, am I human after all? What do you see in me Janaff? Because I'm not sure anymore."<br/><br/>He wasn't sure if being more human was a good thing or a bad thing, he was certainly raised to have no attachments, nothing but the job. The perfect assassin that's what his 'family' wanted, but what did he want? He wanted to be able to defend the group against any foe, do whatever had to be done. The only problem was that the mere idea of Janaff in pain hurt him deeply, he hated it. Any enemy could use that against him, it wasn’t good, how could he trust himself when his weakness was so easily used? Fuck, what am I doing? He thought to himself, why am I second guessing myself, I am the oncoming shadow, the killer of many, the silent assassin. I am feared and respected by many, then why does Janaff make me feel so weak? Is this really what I want, to feel weak, but without it I feel so purposeless, is that what having a reason to fight does? Makes you weak, can scare you more than the most despicable horrors. Is that the sacrifice I have to make for feeling like my actions actually matter?<br/><br/>Micha didn’t stop smiling and spoke kindly to him. “That was the first time I’ve ever kissed someone on the cheek myself. Seth… I just enjoy being around you, I don’t want you to feel like there is anything that we have to do. I’ve never been in a relationship before, but I’m pretty sure the only requirement is being happy around one another. We can do as much or as little as you want, whatever you’re comfortable with. I’m not exactly a pushy person...” Micha did her best to be mindful of what was best for Seth. She had no expectations for this relationship, she would be happy as long as she felt she was making him happy, that was her only goal.<br/><br/>Pascha smiled widely, “Well thanks, I always thought Micha had the looks, but it’s nice to be appreciated.” Selia was being so adorable that she almost wanted keep playing with her, but she also could so how afraid she was and she didn’t want that. “I meant that you’re cute, especially right now. Now there’s this one thing from my dream that I think could do with a reenactment right about now. You’ll just have to roll with it okay, but I think it’ll answer your question.” She then leaned into Selia and kissed her passionately, this is definitely better in reality, she thought.