<span style="color: #FF80FF"> <span style="font-weight: bold"><span style="font-size: 150%; line-height: 116%;"><div style="text-align: center;">Lea Stevens</div></span></span> </span><br/><div style="text-align: center;"><a class="postlink" href="http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/nn24/SociallyToxicBeauty/036e0d3a-b28c-47ec-b858-0eaea6c67e4d.jpg">[ img ]</a></div><br/><span style="font-weight: bold"><span style="font-size: 150%; line-height: 116%;"><span style="color: #FF80FF"><div style="text-align: center;">"Jazz"</div></span></span></span><br/><br/>Lea did feel a bit sorry after she heard Carlos' update. She had known Carlos didn't really feel romantically for Maria. Maria was just a good friend. Maria hadn't always been exactly nice to Lea--she had always given Lea underhanded comments, nasty looks, and an over all attitude towards Lea. Though, Maria had always managed to lend a helping hand to Lea when she knew she was about to be up shit creek. Lea supposed it was because Maria cared so much for Carlos that she was willing to help Lea out sometimes. She had been the one to try and warn Lea of the suspicions folks had about her drug habits before she had been kicked out.<br/><br/>Still, there was a bit of satisfaction that Carlos had told Maria that they'd never be together, even if it did make the girl upset. There was guilt, but Lea's selfish desire to keep Carlos to herself outweighed it. Carlos did look rather miserable, though, for what he had done.<span style="font-style: italic"> "...what shall you do as a man if a woman loves you against your will?" </span>he asked and Lea shook her head.<span style="color: #FF80FF">"I don't know..." </span>she answered honestly. Carlos mentioned how he was glad he was leaving the force, because he would not be able to handle seeing Maria there everyday without feeling bad. She felt a sting of jealousy burst through at the thought he would feel bad about it, but she knew it wasn't right to react that way.<br/><br/>Lea took another bite out of her cake, though she would have rather not have. It was simply to keep her occupied and not let her thoughts wander into the bitter territories in her mind. She, instead, tried to focus on the sweetness of the cake and the deep darkness of Carlos' eyes as they looked back at her.<span style="color: #FF80FF"> "You can't help who you love, but I would understand if you would have preferred to go back to her and stay,"</span>Lea said without understanding why she was saying it. Perhaps it was because she knew that she was a toxic person, that in some way Maria was much better for Carlos than she could ever be. Maria had her wits about her, she was beautiful, she was funny, and she didn't let herself crumble when the world was going to shit around her. A much more balanced, healthy choice for Carlos to choose.<br/><br/>Lea knew, however, that if Carlos ever did decide Maria was a better option, that she would probably fall apart in a new way. She didn't say that however, preferring that if it were to happen--that it happen sooner rather than later. She would hate to end up being with Carlos for a long time, to build a life and love with Carlos, only for him to turn around and decide that Maria was more than a friend.<br/><br/>Lea was upsetting herself and pushed her cake away from herself more aggressively than she intended, though the motion was still smooth. She picked up her latte and brought it to her lips, taking a small sip and refusing to acknowledge the pain of something that hadn't even happened. She was working herself up over nothing, and she knew it...and yet she couldn't seem to help herself.<span style="color: #FF80FF">"You have a lot of undercovers in my district. How long has this guy actually been around?"</span>Lea asked, decided to change the subject.<span style="color: #FF80FF">"Because I have a feeling he's been around a while--I've seen a lot of the old guys out and about. You haven't told me everything," </span>Lea set her cup down once more and looked into Carlos' eyes with her own warring ones.