<span style="color: #FF80FF"> <span style="font-weight: bold"><span style="font-size: 150%; line-height: 116%;"><div style="text-align: center;">Lea Stevens</div></span></span> </span><br/><div style="text-align: center;"><a class="postlink" href="http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/nn24/SociallyToxicBeauty/036e0d3a-b28c-47ec-b858-0eaea6c67e4d.jpg">[ img ]</a></div><br/><span style="font-weight: bold"><span style="font-size: 150%; line-height: 116%;"><span style="color: #FF80FF"><div style="text-align: center;">"Jazz"</div></span></span></span><br/><br/>Lea fumbled in surprise as the bottle was thrown into her lap and she looked up at Carlos in confusion. Her breath hitched when he mentioned John, baffled by how he knew her husband's name. She held the bottle in her hand, staring down at it--she knew how her husband would feel. The shame and disappointment he would have in her was overwhelming and her chin quivered, her eyes misting over as she limply held the bottle, the liquid sloshing around as they drove.<br/><br/>She was hardly aware of Carlos' reckless driving, too focused on her thoughts to care. She didn't understand why Carlos loved her. There was nothing about her that was worth loving and yet he insisted he loved her. Was willing to let his own life fall apart if it could not have hers in it. He was trying so hard to offer a life raft, to save her from herself, but she couldn't seem to bring herself to accept it.<br/><br/>They finally stopped in front of her apartment and he leaned over, opening her door,<span style="font-style: italic"> "Get out, Lea. Tell me that you don't want my help and you are back where you had been yesterday. Or tell me that you want my help and I return later, after I brought this car back to the station."</span>Lea sat for a moment as she stared at the bottle. It should have been an easy decision, but somehow she felt as if the pressure of the world were on her shoulders. She had thought she wanted Carlos to go, to leave her alone, but now that he was offering to leave her alone--she couldn't seem to bring herself to tell him that she didn't want his help.<br/><br/>He was doing what she had thought he would do. He had said he wouldn't leave even if she wanted him to, but here he was saying he would leave again if she told him to go away. It killed her how predictable they both were. Then again, maybe he was banking on her fear of being alone again. She wouldn't put it past him, but she always wasn't sure if she wanted to risk it if he were telling the truth. She got out of the car, dropping the bottle into her seat and shutting the door. She didn't say anything, but it was obvious what her decision had been as she had left behind the bottle, only grabbing her keys that sat in the cup holder.<br/><br/>She couldn't bring herself to speak, her emotions making her feel as if her throat were closing. She made her way to her apartment building, going to her floor, unlocking her door, and entering the apartment. Her cat came running up, meowing her greeting and Lea bent over picking her up, burying her face into the soft fur and crying. The cat seemed perplexed by the behavior, but still purred, rubbing her face against Lea's in an attempt at comfort.<br/><br/>Lea calmed some, walking over to the window and looking out. Carlos was still sitting there, though he drove off not long after. She gave a sigh, letting the cat down and going to feed her. Once the cat was busy munching away on her food, Lea went to her room and got some dry clothes out in the form of black sweat pants and a yellow tank top. She then threw on some white fuzzy socks, not even caring how slummy she looked. When she was done, she went to her bathroom and brushed her teeth and pulled her hair back in a messy ponytail, some pieces of her hair unable to stay up as they were too short.<br/><br/>Afterward Lea went to her bedroom closet, grabbing the box she had kicked over the day before and brought it to the living room. She sat it on the coffee table and sat herself on the couch, staring at it with her hands in her lap. She took a shaky breath as she stared at it, finally reaching out and opened it. Piece by piece, she took out the contents within, laying them out on the coffee table in chronological order. It was the first time she had taken any item out of the box willingly and it hurt much more than she had expected.<br/><br/>She was pulled from her task, though, as there was a knock on her door. When she opened it, there was Starsky and Hutch looking at her worriedly, with a bit of malicious intent behind their eyes.<span style="color: #0080FF"><span style="font-style: italic">"Stevens...we came to check on you last night, but you weren't home. People have been looking for you, you know..."</span></span>Starsky said,<span style="font-style: italic"><span style="color: #0080FF">"We heard that Delgado may have been with you...did he do that to your face?"</span></span>Lea immediately shook her head no,<span style="color: #FF80FF"> "No. He came over when I called him for some help..."</span>The two cops seemed disappointed at the answer, but didn't let it go.<span style="font-style: italic"><span style="color: #0080FF"> "So what happened to your face?" </span></span><br/><br/>Lea became irritated,<span style="color: #FF80FF">"I went to a bar and a guy got mad at me, okay? He gave me a good hit, bouncer threw him out, I decided not to press charges, then I called Carlos for a ride home because I was so upset. Carlos asked me about my drinking problem, and I got mad and left him at my apartment. He came after me and he took me to stay at a Motel because he wanted to clean my apartment of booze first, alright?" </span>One of them raised there hands,<span style="font-style: italic"><span style="color: #408000">"Alright, alright. Was just checkin', Stevens. We all worry about you down at the precinct is all,"</span></span>he said. Lea softened some,<span style="color: #FF80FF">"Look, I'm fine. I'll call if I need help, okay?"</span>He nodded and the two officers left.<br/><br/>She sighed in relief and shut the door, locking it. She went back to her previous task, and soon all the contents of the box were out. She sat quietly in the middle of the mess, wondering what she was doing, and resisting the urge to throw it all back in the box and hiding it away again. Instead she grabbed her phone and dialed Carlos, a number she had never had the heart to delete, it went to voice mail,<span style="color: #FF80FF">"I...I don't want to be alone..." </span>she started,<span style="color: #FF80FF">"...Starsky and Hutch stopped by...I told them that you came to help me at my request."</span>She then proceeded to tell him about what she told them, then how she took everything out of the box, and eventually her words were breaking apart from her crying,<span style="color: #FF80FF">"I a-a-mm scare-d-d. I c-can't d-do this. An-dd I'm s-sorry. I'm sorry. Please d-d-on't leav-v-e me b-by mysel-f-f." </span>