Jaron thought about an answer to Aleron question about being hard.  Jaron had to be honest with himself when it came to breaking it off with Matt it was easy because Jaron had learned a long time ago to close off his heart so he wouldn't get hurt by anyone.  But then he was missing Matt because Matt was always willing to listen to anything Jaron had to say.<br/><br/>"Was it hard to tell him it was over?"  Jaron stated or more like asked himself the question, "It was easy to say I can't see you anymore, at least when I did it."  Jaron was honest about that he told Matt with no expression on his face.  "But I will miss him for awhile, because he was the only one I could find to put up with me."<br/><br/>Jaron sat up on the bed getting a little upset at himself for getting so emotional because that was not something he usually did.  "I know enough to know you really don't want to be with me, no matter that you say you will try."  Jaron sighed and got off the bed, "I may be a ass, but I am not that much of a ass to marry someone and have a affair.  Even knowing I will not get what I was getting from my lover."  Jaron stated rather rudely so to cover up the feelings that were trying to come up.<br/><br/>Jaron left the bedroom before he got any more emotional.  He started to debate whether or not he would leave the cabin now that he had put himself out there.  He knew that he would get rather tired if he went out in the sun.