Dustin looked down. "I do not know them...to extend them any form of trust. I left them...because...almost all my trust...is with you." He said softly. "I do not think I could ever trust more of your family after Marina. I'm sorry but...it is going to be hard. I trust you...a lot." He said softly. He flinched when she spoke. He bit down on his lip. He looked away ashamed. He...wasn't worth...the effort she gave him. He knew this. Why couldn't she see that? He looked down. "I...am not worth...the effort and time you give me." He said softly. He sighed a bit. "........." He looked away even more. He could tell she was crying. "Can't you...see...what you mean..." He said softly. "You haven't...seen the way...I've seen you. You should look in the mirror." He said softly. Looking out the window. "I don't deserve someone...when I am broken like I am." he said sadly.<br/><br/>"I can't help it Reni. Snapping...my mother always snapped. It will probably always trigger flashbacks and send me into them. It isn't you personally. If...If I didn't have faith in you...I wouldn't be going with you to a hoard of vampires. I wouldn't have left the room...to go with you. I would have taken my daggers if you had managed to get me to leave." He looked distantly. "You...show me...kindness. I am not used to this. So...whenever you get upset...I worry...that I've ruined it. That I've made you hate me like my mother would always tell me. She said...I'd screw up and anyone I let close would hate me. That I was such a mistake that anyone who got angry with me...would hate me and disown me. Along with other things like that."<br/><br/>He sighed a bit. He looked down. "I don't...deserve you. I don't...deserve...what you try to give me." He said sadly. "I am...unsure how to return such things. I can't..." He closed his eyes. As tears started to trail down his cheeks. "I...flinch when I'm touched. The thought of kissing...freaks me out. You...deserve someone...who can kiss and touch without turning to stone. I am not like that." He looked at her. "You deserve...to be shown how special you are. Yet...how can I do that when the way I am only brings you pain? You don't think I notice...the way you look at me Reni? You don't think that maybe that is why...I am so afraid...to make you hate me? To make it so you say screw you you are on your own?"<br/><br/>He could barely see her through his tears. "I notice...when you smile. I see it...in your eyes. I don't deserve that. I can't even give you my trust one hundred percent yet. You deserve...someone who can. I can't. It takes me a long time Reni. I have opened up to you these past few months more than I have anyone my entire life. Even the one girl who I had loved. The girl who broke my heart. Who took my innocence. Even with her...I was not as open or trusting...as I am with you. You just don't see it...you are closer to me and more inside my bubble than ANYONE has ever been." He looked out the window. "Yet...I see how it hurts you...that I am afraid. That I take so long and have not yet given you my full trust. I see how it hurts you...that even your touches...terrify me."<br/><br/>He looked down. "I have seen...that look of longing and hope. Only to see me unintentionally dash it. See me bring pain and tears to your eyes. To see me the cause of why you hurt." He closed his eyes. "It hurts Reni...that I am such a horrible person to you...because of how I was molded to be by those monsters." He sighed a bit. "I see...your attraction and feelings for me. I do. I just...know I'm not good for you because...all I see myself doing when I look in your eyes...is bringing you pain." He looked at her. "Even now...you are crying...and it is because of me that you are. How can you love someone...who brings you so much pain Reni? I can see you do but...how? All I do is bring you pain...because I can not give you what you need. Because it takes me so much time to let you in further."<br/><br/>He looked away. "These realizations...combined with all that my mother verbally beat into my head...is what makes me apologize so profusely. It is what makes me beg you not to hate me. Because...I actually feel some happiness around you. Some happiness....is more happiness than I have ever felt. I know now that girl I loved...she never really brought me happiness. Because...you bring me happiness just being my friend. So...I fear...I will hurt you so much you will leave me. It is my own fault because of self confidence but...it is a fear nonetheless." He cried harder and hung his head.<br/><br/>"I flinch and turn to stone ever so slightly less when it is yours but...Reni. How could you ever truly be happy with...with a guy whose fear of touches...makes it so he will not hold your hand? So he will not place gentle kisses upon your lips to remind you how special you are? Who does not turn to stone because you give him a hug to show happiness, comfort, or caring?" he closed his eyes. "I...can't express...how you make me feel. Partily...because...I don't deserve you. I cling to every moment we spend together...like it is our last. Always praying that it isn't." He opened his eyes and looked at her. "I...don't want you to ever leave me. It is selfish...when I should really be just wanting your extreme happiness but...I don't want to share. I don't want some other guy to come and take more importance in your life." He looked away. "Yet...I know...I am not the way that will not bring you pain...and hurt. I want...to keep you close yet I am afraid...to touch..." He looked at her.<br/><br/>"How could you be happy with a guy like me Reni? How? I selfishly want to hold you close but I am too afraid to do so. I want to make you happy but i've seen it. Most always all I do is hurt you and bring you pain. You think I don't notice when you cry...but I do. I notice each and every time...and I know it is my fault ninety-eight percent of the time."