Hikari continued to stare up at the sky as the silence built between them. She wasn't expecting a reply to the question, really. It was an idle question born of curiosity and probably a silly question at that. Still, it hadn't been long enough for her to assume he wouldn't answer her. She supposed it didn't matter one way or the other. All they could really do was speculate regarding her motive. Still, she was curious to hear his thoughts, to see if they matched up with her own.<br/><br/>At the very least, he hadn't gotten on to her regarding the nickname she'd absentmindedly given him, so that was a plus. Didn't necessarily mean he liked it, but he didn't hate it enough to comment on it, so there was that. Anyways, that hardly mattered so she didn't know why she bothered to even waste time thinking about it. She hadn't even thought about it when she'd given him the nickname. It'd just sort of come out naturally.<br/><br/>His voice broke her from her thoughts and she glanced down his way, rather surprised, albeit perhaps pleasantly so, that he actually decided to answer. From what she'd gathered, he wasn't one to talk for the sake of talking, or to answer questions he likely found pointless, so she was naturally a bit surprised that he had chosen to humor her by answering the question.<br/><br/>She eyed him for a moment before silently looking back towards the sky, laughing a little to herself, a light and airy sound. It wasn't a mocking laugh, nor was it because the idea was laughable so much as it simply amused her somehow. A match? Them? Actually, she had a similar thought regarding her motive. She wouldn't put it past Tsunade to do such a thing. Still, the idea that they would be a match seemed rather unlikely.<br/><br/>"Yes, that does seem like something she would do." she replied with a gentle voice and a smile. "Still..." her voice trailed off for a moment as she contemplated whether or not to actually continue out loud. After all, she doubted her cared about what she had to say, given that she was pretty positive he didn't care about her in the least. Still, she continued her thoughts, whether or not he listened, hoping that she at least didn't get on his nerves too much. "It seems a silly idea. We aren't even friends." she paused. "And once we get back to Konoha we'll likely go our separate ways and never see each other again." she didn't know why, but somehow she felt a little disappointed by this realization and she thought she caught an ever so slight tinge of this disappointment in her voice. It was barely there and not noticeable unless one was paying attention and she didn't even know that he was listening, let alone paying enough attention to notice the slight change in her voice.<br/><br/>"I wonder what would have made her think such a thing was possible." she wondered idly, but this time her words were to herself rather than to him, and they were so light that he might have missed them if he weren't listening. "We are similar enough in a lot of ways, I suppose..." she paused and smiled lightly, almost sadly. "The irony is that it is very likely those similarities, rather than our differences, that would keep us apart." her words were soft, barely above a whisper. He could hear them if he were truly paying attention, otherwise they would simply be carried away on the breeze that blew through, tossing her hair around her.<br/><br/>Perhaps in another life, or even another time, they could have been friends, or maybe even more than that. Perhaps if they had met years ago, before life had taken its toll on the both of them, stealing their innocence, their trust of others, their willingness to find friendship and companionship. Before she learned to fear love because of the pain it so often brought her, before she shied away from connection because those connections were inevitably severed, leaving an emptiness that nothing else could fill.<br/><br/>Perhaps if life had been different, they could have been friends. Of course, she wouldn't completely rule out the possibility even now, it just seemed unlikely. Oddly enough, some part of her longed for it even while another part of her warned that it would be a mistake. She thought that perhaps she might even enjoy his company, that they could be close, if they wished to be. Yet some part of her warned her that allowing herself to care for him would be ill-advised. Not simply because caring for people in general was something she had grown to fear, but because something told her that he would hurt her, one way or another. Still, she supposed that was always a risk.<br/><br/>She sighed lightly to herself, shaking her head. Even if she were foolish enough to allow herself to care for him in one way or another, she doubted the feeling would ever be mutual, so it was best not to even entertain the idea. So why did even this thought bring a tinge of sadness and regret? She hated the feeling. She hated not knowing what to do. Usually she was always certain of herself. She didn't doubt herself and her choice was always clear: don't allow yourself to be foolish and get close to anyone. She didn't need anyone else, only herself. She had never doubted these things, never thought that she would even consider another option. So why was she? Why did the idea of following her usual path leave her with this feeling she couldn't shake?<br/><br/>It was incredibly frustrating and she felt like she could just crawl out of her skin. It took every ounce of self control she had not to stand up right then and run, run from her feelings, her thoughts, and from the one who caused them. She managed to stay, if only barely, focusing her gaze on the sky for a long time before glancing back down at him. They were the same. Yet they were different. Even in their similarities they were different because their reasons were different. She chose not to care because she feared the pain that would come if she did. She suspected that he chose not to care because he thought it was a weakness he couldn't afford. That was speculation and she supposed she shouldn't speculate. Then again, the entirety of this train of thought had come from speculation regarding Tsunade's motives. She hated baseless speculation, so she decided to leave it there rather than carrying on with the topic.<br/><br/>She sighed lightly and shook her head a little as she looked away from him. It was stupid to think about any of this.<span style="font-style: italic">Foolish girl</span>. She told herself. She'd managed to make it this far without falling prey to the same thing that she'd watched every other girl fall prey to. Boys. Love. What was the point? Sure, it felt good, it was nice. Until it wasn't. Until you had to watch it all crumble around you.<br/><br/>Perhaps it wasn't that way for everyone. Perhaps it wouldn't even always be that way for her, but she dared not hope for that, and she dared not believe that this would be any different than anything else in her life. If she let him in, one day he would hurt her. The only difference would be that she feared that if she let him in, she would give him the power to hurt her as no other had. She didn't think she could risk that, even if the thought somehow brought with it a hint of sadness and regret. Even if it was good for a while, in the end, she feared it might destroy her. And even if it didn't, would she ever truly recover? She didn't have any answers to any of the many questions that now plagued her mind.<br/><br/>Stupid. She brushed the thoughts away and tried to focus on anything else, daring not even glance his way for fear that something of her struggle might slip past her usually impeccable mask of nonchalance. "Who knows." she whispered the words absentmindedly as she gazed upward. A sliver of hope, perhaps? Or a hint of optimism? No. That wasn't it. She thought that one way or another she would be hurt if they ever became close. She was certain of it, really. Yet it didn't fully deter her or scare her as it should. Again, she had no answers as to why, so she let the thoughts die and stared seemingly absentmindedly at the sky before glancing his way, a hint of a smile tugging at her lips before she looked away, closing her eyes and wiping all thoughts from her mind and trying to relax herself.