Lyall blushed a bit at what he wanted to do with her, unable to help the instant rush of arousal that coursed through her body. Knowing that he would certainly smell her arousal she sought to change the subject, "Well if you really need to relieve your...needs...I would understand..." her voice cracking a bit as she looked away. "I mean you are a very attractive and powerful male so it would stand to reason that there would be plenty of females eagerly waiting for you. Its the way of the wolf..." she said softly looking down at her feet, realizing that the change in subject was not really the best choice.<br/><br/>"Shit...you know this is just..." she growled in exasperation, her hand raking angrily through her short hair as she slipped out from where he had her against the wall. Pacing away from where he stood she gave her back to him as she stared at a spot on the wall. Tension evident in her body as she hugged herself, rubbing her arms slightly as she tried to comfort herself a bit.<br/><br/>"I want to be able to touch you and for you to touch me..." she said after a moment, "I don't want for you to have to go to another woman because I can't be there for you..." her voice soft and showing her emotion. "Its not your fault either...not even you at all. Its me..." she continued on after a moment.<br/><br/>Taking a deep breath she figured she might as well explain, "When I was 13 I was raped by a member of my pack..." she paused saying it out loud seemed to only make the pain more real...more raw.<br/><br/>"Its not the wolf's fault really...he was young...though older then me and had been excluded from the full moon run with the other wolves..." her eyes closed as she remembered that night.  "I was left behind too...couldn't keep up with the others and my father wanted me away from the other young males because of how the full moon made them feel...not to mention many a female had gone into heat..." another pause as the memories came forth. "I was at the pack's den...cleaning up a bit...you know the bones and bits from kills that had been brought back. Arranging the furs, trying to be a good wolf and help out" she gave a shrug. "I heard him...before he attacked...which surprised me since my hearing is not the good but I heard him. His labored breath...the heavy panting" her skin got goosebumps and she hugged herself closer as she shivered.<br/><br/>"Then he was on me and..." her voice choked, "He was so heavy and so rough...but he was a wolf and I only human...I could not get him off of me no matter how much I fought and struggled. When I managed to hurt him he growled at me and I..." she took a deep breath to steady herself before continuing. "My pack found him still...knotted to me...I had fainted by then. When I came to I was in my bed and my mother was there smiling down at me, took nearly a month for me to walk" she said softly taking a deep breath.<br/><br/>"So when you are with me and so close my body and mind confuse one another and they think I am back at that moment. I have never been with anyone else since then, no boyfriends...no girlfriends...nothing. I...I don't even...alone..." she said softly hoping he understood what she was trying to tell him without actually having to say it. " I am fucked up Tyson. Pretty bad..."