<div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-weight: bold"><span style="font-size: 150%; line-height: 116%;"><span style="color: #80FF80">Carlos Delgado</span></span></span></div><br/><br/><div style="text-align: center;"><a class="postlink" href="http://i1343.photobucket.com/albums/o793/Galvin_Fugazi/75418b36-82bd-4b2f-bdff-d44eb7e2deaf_zpsb78abdde.jpg">[ img ]</a></div><br/><br/><br/><div style="text-align: justify;">Carlos had listened to her calmly on the outside, but not so calmly on the inside. It was stirring him up that she couldn't understand that he wasn't competing with John. He could easily live with her loving them both and differently. John had been an important part of her life. He wasn't questioning that part, but she shouldn't compare him to John. They were different, had always been different and Lea was different too. She wasn't the same person she had been at that time. Carlos knew one thing pretty well so, John would approve of her love to him. No partner who really loved someone wanted the other being sad over the loss for the rest of his time. If you truely love someone, you want her or him to be happy after you are gone and not caught up in depression. But Lea had perfected that depression, this self-abandonment. She truely believed that she was a person nobody could love and that there was nothing lovable in her. But there was a lot to love in Lea still and it could be even more if she finally put the wagon around.<br/><br/>He wanted to object, to tell her that she was thinking way too bad of herself, but then she changed topics and hit a sore spot. Literally as she spoke about him hitting her. Carlos felt bad for having hit her so hard and he would have liked to promise her that it would never happen again. Unfortunately he knew that had a short fuse and that he had problems to stay controlled often. Lea had always been the one to calm him down when they had worked together to stop him from exploding. He was sure that she would have the same effect on him again, once she commited to their love. But in her current state she was driving him mad too often and he had to fight back the urge to grab her and rattle her.<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF8000">"Lea, I feel absolutely bad for having hit you. And I would like to promise you that it won't happen again. You know that you have always been the one who got to me, who could level me out. I know that you will do that again, but currently I have hard time to fight my temper. Someone you mean too much to me as that I can always look at it distantly. I know what will happen, if I beat you again and I don't want to risk it. I will try hard not to do it again, I could even promise it to you, but what would it change? Can I hold that promise? I hope I can, I want to, I try hard. That's all I can do, I can't change myself as little as you can change yourself. Unfortunately...as you are thinking way too bad of yourself."</span></div>