Nicolas stared at the ground a bit more. Thinking back to the gray haired man he had found that faithful evening.<span style="font-style: italic">I don't want to die like he did... He should be an example of what I shouldn't do...</span>He teared up a bit at his next thought.<span style="font-style: italic">What I said... I sounded like my father... And acting like that... In front of a baby... Just an innocent bystander that doesn't understand... I've been in that position before... Watching him treat my mother the same...</span>He carefully knelt down and patted the snow above where the man was buried. "Old friend... I never knew you... But you've helped me so much..." Tears began flowing down his cheeks. "I remember that journal I found. There wasn't much writing in it. It was recent. Only a little about how excited you were about getting the puppy so you wouldn't be so alone." At this point, he was borderline blubbering. "I burned it to try and forget, but I remember your name... I probably always will... James... A man I never knew, who has taught me so much..." He tried consoling himself as the tears were freezing on his cheeks. "I'm not sure what walk of life you came from, I never found any other journals... I don't know your full story, about how you got out here... But I am grateful for you... I won't die alone... If I can help it... I promise..."<br/><br/>He stood up now, hesitantly turning and walking back towards the cabin. "FUCK... ME..." he shouted, echoing through the mountains. "Maybe God has blessed me with this opportunity," he thought aloud, "giving me this chance to change my ways. I have to apologize to her. She's obviously running scared. Much like I was. She can't even be much older than I was when I started running." He paused a moment, and continued on, "Can I accept another person and see that they aren't<span style="font-style: italic">all</span>bad...? Maybe... I can at least give it a shot... She doesn't even know or understand... Not yet... I can explain one day..." He thought about how beautiful she was, and he handsome he wasn't. "I don't even care if she only wants to be company as friends. I don't deserve anyone special, but I just don't want to die alone, or live alone for that matter. Not anymore..."<br/><br/>The minutes passed by as he steadily worked his way to the house, reasoning with himself about why she should stay. "I'm just a lowly hermit. There's nothing special about me. But this is a chance... For something better, maybe a better life... A life that's not so...<span style="font-style: italic">Alone...? Miserable...?"</span>He came to the house and began splitting the tree tops into smaller logs, his mind still churning, only silently now, as he didn't want Maria to hear.<span style="font-style: italic">She can stay... I hope she will now... After that hateful outburst...</span>He looked up at the icy window to the living room.<span style="font-style: italic">But am I really ready to trust someone, after not being trusted or trusting anyone else my <span style="font-weight: bold">entire life...?</span></span><br/><br/>His mind drifted between all these though as he finally finished splitting logs into small enough chunks to fit in the fire place, clearing the snow on the porch and stacking most of the wood there. He opened the door and grabbed a massive arm full, bear hugging six large logs and bringing them in the house. Coal got up and began waging her tail as he walked towards the fire place. He watched Maria as he stacked the logs beside it and sat in his chair. He was quiet for a moment, scared to say anything, feeling she may still be frightened from earlier.<span style="font-style: italic">I can stay quiet no longer...</span>"I..." He finally spoke up, "I... Apologize... I shouldn't have said that... Earlier... I've had... A lot... On my mind... You know," he leaned forwards, placing his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together, "I see alot of myself in you... Running... Being afraid... I apologize... I'm not sure what you're running from, but it can't be good from how you talk about it. I know exactly how that feels. I ran too. I won't go into all of it, but I've been in your position." He paused for a moment, "It's no fun... Living out here alone..." His eyes wondered around the cabin as he thought for a moment.<span style="font-style: italic">Should I...? It feels right... But Do I really believe I should...?</span>"I had my reasons, but..."<span style="font-style: italic">Should I be saying all of this...? Should I really...? I ran for a reason... But...</span>"But... Those reasons don't make sense to me anymore..."<span style="font-style: italic">Dear God, please just don't let any of this be a mistake...</span>