<a class="postlink" href="http://i833.photobucket.com/albums/zz260/TimeKeys/l13_zps73319dcd.jpg">[ img ]</a><br/>*Matthew "Matt" Kinston<br/>*17<br/>*Son of a policeman (father)<br/>*Son of an artist (mother)<br/>*Is a cutter (not suicidally)<br/><br/>Matthew lived a double life. At school he was an athlete great at acting filled with life and joy. At home he was in hell on earth. His father abused him physically. He was never good enough for him or his mother. His mother was crazy and constantly put him down and told him off. Sometimes she even hit him. She was out of control yet his father took her side. He'd learned at an early age not to argue back with his mother when she called  him names. It pissed his father off greatly. He got beat greatly and he'd learned that it wasn't worth the pain it caused him. So he'd learned to bite his tongue. He'd learned to only say yes ma'am or no ma'am before he had even reached the age of six.<br/><br/>He'd started cutting at a lot more at four. That is when he learned that the blood rushing from him in a slow dark river down his arm or palm made sense. It made sense that when he cut himself it hurt. That the pain he felt was a result of him doing something. Whereas the pain his parents gave him made no sense. He was not a bad kid. In fact he often tried his hardest to please them in hopes to avoid pain. it never worked. He was always in pain. He was good at sports but his father still beat him for being a failure. He must not be the perfect child his father wanted. Maybe his father had wanted a girl. Maybe that was why his father had put him in the hospital a few times. No. Those times had been a result of filing charges against his father. His father got away with it. Then he beat him to within an inch of his life. He pretended to be worried about his son. His father had told the doctors at the hospital he got hit by a car. Or that he was attacked by gang members. They believed him even though he had tried to tell them otherwise.<br/><br/>Who would believe a kid reported as a liar by the authorities because they believed his father over him. Why couldn't the evidence speak for itself in his case? It was because his father was such a loyal and awesome cop. It had to be why they never really looked into it. He was always in pain. It hurt. Going home meant pain. He delayed it as long as possible. After practice he took his time getting ready. He pretended to need tutoring even though he was very smart. He pretended he wasn't. He was a poplar guy yet he didn't let people close. It was very hard for him to trust people when the two most important people to a child's life couldn't be trusted.<br/><br/>He walked through the school. Down period during Yokohama University. His next class wasn't for an hour. He rubbed his arm. It was covered in a thin bandage and skin toned makeup. To hid the cuts. Athletic bandaging to be exact. He took his hand and opened and closed it. Trying to get feeling back to his arm. He sat down in the courtyard and looked around. People waved to him and tried to get his attention. he just wasn't feeling it. He just wanted to go lay down. He smiled at everyone. "Hello ladies. Hello Yoko." He said warmly. It wasn't warm inside. Inside he hurt. He ached. He felt pain. Always pain. There was always pain inside. Nothing could ever make the pain go away. He sat down and began doing his homework for a class. Not paying much attention to anything.