Aeris chuckled when the children surrounded their speeder, prompting Jek to ask their two new recruits if they wanted to see something cool. She could guess what it was when he told them to strap in, and she did the same. It was a favorite of hers, the floating meditation, as it was one of the deepest forms of meditation, which made it one of the best for her purposes.<br/><br/>As he went into this meditative state, he floated the objects and children around their speeder out of the way, which elicited excited screeches, squeaks, and giggles from the children as they floated away. As soon as he had set them down, he broke his meditation and gunned it, earning a squeak from the young woman in the back and a laugh from Aeris, who enjoyed the sudden rush of adrenaline. She also enjoyed the grin that lingered on his face and the calm but pleased feelings he felt, which helped to keep her calm as well.<br/><br/>She watched him for a little while longer before she got comfortable in her seat and began to meditate again. Like on their journey to this place, it was not a deep meditation, but a light meditation meant to help her focus on their third and final recruit. This was the one who had the weakest ties of the three of them, but she would not let herself believe that this meant that he would be easier to convince. There was no telling how he would react, if he would cling to those frayed ties, or willingly leave them behind.<br/><br/>She decided that perhaps the best strategy for this one was to simply offer him the chance to start a new life somewhere else, a fresh start, perhaps even adventure, if it suited him. She could feel that he still carried the pain of his divorce, but it had been months, so the pain was beginning to heal. It was nothing compared to the pain she had felt from their first recruit the previous day, which meant that it would be easier for her to handle, although, he wouldn’t know the difference, so the pain still felt plenty deep for him.<br/><br/>Aeris remained in her state of meditation until they arrived at the man’s home. She opened her eyes just before they stopped, hopping out when they were fully stopped. She looked back at the other two, who seemed content to stay in the vehicle, then looked at Jek. She could tell that the man was not in a good place emotionally, so she waited for him and strode up to the door with him at her side.<br/><br/>She knocked heavily on the door and heard someone yell “go away!” She sighed and knocked again, even harder this time. There was silence for a good thirty seconds before the door opened, revealing a tall, half-dressed man messy brown hair and stubble on his face with a bottle in hand. The first thing Aeris noticed, though, was the strong smell of alcohol wafting from the man. “What do you want?” he asked, slurring his words just a little.<br/><br/>Aeris felt a mix of emotions building up inside of her as she watched the man stumble a little closer to them, smelling the alcohol on his breath, the smell that told her he hadn’t bathed in a few days. She wanted to leave right then, to say screw it. The Force might want this man to come with them, but she certainly didn’t. Still, she restrained herself, forcing out the same words she had said to the other recruits, “We are recruiting Force Sensitives to train in the ways of the Force,” she told him, managing to keep her voice level, at least for now. “The Force led us to you, so we want you to come with us,” she explained simply, although it was hard to say those words with a straight face, considering how few of the words she actually meant.<br/><br/>“I don’t know what you’re talking about, just leave me alone,” the man half-slurred, reaching out to push Aeris’s shoulder. Before she ever realized what she was doing, she had grabbed his hand, twisted his arm and his body with it, and pinned him against the wall, her eyes wide and filled with a mix of anger, fear, and pain, her heart racing, pounding in her chest. She had reacted out of pure instinct, her mind flashing back to the familiar scene of a larger man reeking of alcohol raising a hand to her. “Don’t you dare touch me,” she warned him dangerously, barely controlling the rage she felt as she tried to remind herself that he wasn’t her father.<br/><br/>She let out a frustrated grunt as she released the man and stepped away, forcing herself to breathe. “I can’t do this,” she said through gritted teeth, turning away from the man and only barely managing not to throw out some insults about useless, violent drunks. It wasn’t fair. The man was hurting, she could feel that, and he hadn’t actually intended to hurt her. He wanted them to leave, that was all it had been. But her instincts hadn’t cared. She had allowed her trauma to reach the surface. She just hoped that it didn’t compromise the mission.<br/><br/>It had served one purpose, at least, as the adrenaline had sobered the man up a little. “I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to…” the man tried to apologize to her, but she couldn’t bring herself to respond. Instead, she gave Jek a look that asked him to fix her mistake as she stomped off toward the speeder, trying to put some space between them, hoping that the cold air would help to cool her down.<br/><br/>She wanted Jek next to her, to have him wrap her in his arms and make her feel safe and banish all of her fears. But she knew that they needed to complete their mission, and she couldn’t rely on him to fix her every time her emotions got the better of her. It was tempting to do so, it was easier, less of a fight than trying to handle it alone. She knew that she didn’t have to handle it alone now, but she needed to be able to, just in case. She had done it before, although it was never easy, and often the best way to deal with it was to banish all of her emotions to avoid confronting those that were causing her an issue. She couldn’t do that right now. She couldn’t be that cold with him. She didn’t want to be.<br/><br/>Instead, she found a large boulder nearby, used the Force to remove the snow on top, then plopped herself down on the cold stone. The cold was enough to give her a shock and knock her out of her funk, at least to some extent, but she crossed her legs and closed her eyes. She decided to use a form of meditation that was a favorite of the Jedi, but that she did not often use called emptiness meditation. She took in a slow, deep breath and tried to clear her thoughts and calm her emotions. She couldn’t block out Jek’s presence, but she blocked out the other three, along with everything else, trying to focus on, well, nothing.<br/><br/>She trusted that Jek could convince the man to join them, so her job was to calm down and clear her mind so that she could see the man for himself, not as her father, The Force had lead them to him for a reason, so she had to trust in that just as she trusted in him. It wasn’t an easy thing for her, trusting in anything, but Jek made it easy, and the Force was difficult to comprehend at times, but even when the path it led her down was hard, it was always the right path.<br/><br/>--<br/><br/>Jax was quiet as they drove, not saying a single word, to An-Lok or their recruits until he began to hear complaints from the backseat about hunger. It was a complaint that was echoed by the other two recruits, along with a complaint of being cold. He was getting hungry himself, and he guessed that An probably was, too, although she wouldn’t admit it now. “Alright, I’ll stop as soon as I find a decent place,” he told them, taking one hand off the steering wheel to give a seemingly dismissive wave of his hand.<br/><br/>As promised, he soon found a spot where he thought he could get a fire going and he pulled over, turning off the speeder and hopping out. He immediately went to work setting up for a fire and then getting it going before he unloaded the crate where the food was store, sifting through it to find something that would feed them all, help to warm them up, and hopefully last for a while. Once he’d found something, he got what he needed to get it started and set the dishes and utensils nearby before closing up the box. He headed over to the fire, the dishes and utensils floating beside him before coming to rest near the fire as he got the food started.<br/><br/>Once the fire was going and the food was started, he turned his attention to An-Lok, who had finally gotten out of the speeder and now sat on the end of the speeder. He cautiously approached, as if testing to see how close she would allow him to get. He could see the anger in her eyes, and how carefully she watched him. He stopped before he reached her, listening carefully as she spoke. She wasn’t wrong. He didn’t know. Perhaps the things she spoke of were precisely why the Council had been hesitant to enter the war to begin with. If it was so easy to fall to the Dark Side during times of war, it was no wonder they would be hesitant. It was understandable that some of the Jedi had wanted to act, to protect those who needed protecting. Even if it was hasty and a violent path, they had a noble and valiant cause. But sometimes the worst atrocities were committed with the best of intentions.<br/><br/>Still, he withheld such thoughts, listening to her with an open mind, trying not to allow the Jedi in him to judge her actions. When she stopped, he saw the tears in her eyes that she didn’t allow to fall, and he felt that there was more that she wished to show him. He could also feel that she was not yet ready for him to approach her, so he remained where he was and got no closer for the time being as he opened himself up to her in the Force, reaching out for the memory she wished for him to see.<br/><br/>He closed his eyes as the memory flooded into his mind, showing him a scene that turned his stomach. He saw slaves in cages with shock collars around their necks and he felt the echoes of An’s anger. He watched as her blade cut down so many people, extinguishing so many lives from existence. He felt sick to his stomach as he watched the scene unfold.<br/><br/>When she had once again locked the memory away in her mind, out of both of their reach, he opened his eyes. He watched the tears that fell from her eyes and felt her anger dissipate, replaced by shame and pain. It only took several of his long strides to bring him to her side so that he could wrap his arms around her. He didn’t say anything, as he didn’t think that there was anything he could say to make her feel better. Instead, he just held her close to him, cradling her in his arms, letting her know that he was there, that she was safe, that he loved her, no matter what she had done.<br/><br/>He still didn’t think that he could see things the way she did, despite what he had seen. He understood her feelings better than he had before, why she had felt so angry towards the man. He had felt disgust towards his disregard for life as well, but he hadn’t seen the things she had, so it made sense why she felt so strongly about it. Still, the idea of slaughtering someone, even a despicable lowlife who had it coming, it didn’t sit right with him.<br/><br/>Perhaps it was because he still clung to the Jedi, but he didn’t think that was it, exactly. He had seen plenty of bad people in his days. In the orphanage he had grown up in, on the streets. He’d seen children taken away to be sold as slaves, beaten for one reason or another, hell, he’d taken plenty of beatings of his own. Yet, even feeling angry towards those people, wanting them to stop, wanting them to pay for what they did, he couldn’t recall that he had ever actually entertained the idea of killing someone in cold blood. Even killing those the Jedi had sent him after, or killing in self-defense hadn’t been pleasant. It just wasn’t who he was.<br/><br/>That was okay, though, wasn’t it? They were different people. They had different thoughts, desires, and even different values. Part of why they complemented each other so well was because they were different. He prevented her to acting out of rage and doing something she shouldn’t, and she prompted him into action he might otherwise hesitate to take. They were better together. No matter what she had done, he loved her, he wanted to be with her, and he did not think any less of her for those things she had done in the past.<br/><br/>He wished that he knew how to tell her that. Because the words did not come, though, he held her a little more tightly, kissing the top of her head and allowing her to feel those things he didn’t know how to say. “I’m sorry, An,” he whispered into her hair as one of his hands gently stroked her back. He didn’t specify whether he was sorry for her experiences in the war, saying things that hurt her, being unable to truly understand her or her experiences, pushing her out of the way earlier, or something else entirely, though. Most likely, it was a bit of all of those things.<br/><br/>He was quiet again for a while, just holding her, allowing her to feel his calm, love, and acceptance through the Force. Eventually, he leaned back to look down at her, taking her face very gently in his hand and lifting her chin so that she had to look at him. He gently wiped the tears from her eyes as he looked down at her. “I love you,” he told her softly before he leaned down to kiss her, not caring if their recruits saw the display.<br/><br/>He was grateful that their third recruit had taken over watching the food after he’d walked away. As their kiss ended, the young man spoke up, letting them know that the food was ready as he began to dish it out. “Are you hungry?” Jax asked An gently, tilting his head a bit to look into her eyes as his thumb gently caressed her cheek.