All Alex could do was sit in the chair where he was sitting and watch Hope walk out of the door.  It felt like Alex just took a knife and tore apart every single drop of hope that Hope had in him.  Alex just didn’t think he deserved to have the love that Hope wanted to give him and if he was to get on the phone to his mother she would lecture him on how he was always down on himself and this guy was just the perfect one for him and he knew it.<br/><br/>Of course she would be right because this was not like some guy he just found yesterday, he was a guy he had been watching for awhile.  He had been drawn to Hope for some reason and he knew that he was just trying to push him away from feeling his attachment.  Maybe if Hope didn’t feel his attachment he wouldn’t be doing this.<br/><br/>Alex just wanted to pound his head into the wall as he thought about what he was thinking.  This could be his once chance at happiness and here he was pushing his once chance away because he was scared.  He knew he should just throw caution into the wind and take a chance once in his life.  He had to admit it felt nice to curl up next to someone who liked him and even cared about him.<br/><br/>Alex sighed to himself and went to stand up and go after Hope.  He didn’t want him to crawl back into the hole that Alex was finally digging him out of.   Alex left his office and went and checked his bedroom only to find Hope was not in there and so he made his way around the house looking for him.  The last place he looked was the last place he thought he would be and that was in the room that was going to be his room.<br/><br/>Alex knocked on the door and walked in finding Hope on the floor and he could not help but sigh a little as he made his way over to where Hope was sitting and sat down next to him and smile a little as he saw his eyes closed.  Alex could not help it, but he leaned over and gave Hope a gentle kiss on his lips like he had been asking for a little while earlier.  “Please don’t let me push you away.”  Alex said as he pushed Hope’s hair back a little, “I can’t explain it, but I don’t want anyone but you.  But I need you to teach me how.”  Alex was afraid Hope was going to leave even though he had said he wouldn’t.