The waiter nodded as they both gave their orders and then walked off, announcing their orders loudly into the kitchen. Nadia turned her attention back to David as he spoke again, commenting on how restricted her life was. She couldn't agree more. There were a lot of things she wanted to do in her life, but couldn't because she was scared of dropping ballet and then not being able to return to it ever again. The thing with any physical activity was that the more you did it, the more it required from you. A week without ballet could really be the end of her and she didn't know whether she was ready for that.<br/><br/>"Yeah, it's quite frustrating." Nadia admitted. "But then I think of all the good things it has brought me... like self-discipline, a career, contacts and enough money to be independent. It's all a matter of perspective." She wasn't sure who she was trying to convince with those words, David or herself, but those were her thoughts on bad days when all she wanted to do was quit everything, pack her things and go on an adventure. It was just too risky, even if it intrigued her.<br/><br/>David then asked a set of questions that made her mildly uncomfortable, mainly because no one had ever asked her those things or because she hadn't thought about love so much. To her, love had always been the shadow of a man that she would meet in the future, get married with and have children with. There wasn't much more to it, even if she knew her idea of love was extremely limited. She stared at David for a moment and wondered how she felt about him for instance. Did she like him? And if she did, why was it difficult to admit?<br/><br/>Nadia laughed at little, clearly growing nervous about the subject and fixed her hair behind her ear. "You have to understand.. I didn't have a lot of friends in school because I was always doing ballet." She spoke. "I've missed out on a lot of social growth, sadly. It's getting better now, but a few years back I was so shy that I probably would not have even dared to look you in the eyes." Nadia laughed again, this time more confident. "But... yeah. I have felt that way, a couple of times after finishing school. It scares me though. I don't know why but everytime that happens I get a really strange feeling. Like it's already happened before and that it was painful."<br/><br/>She was talking about her earlier deja-vu. Realizing it wasn't making much sense, she just shook her head. "I'm sorry. I know how weird that sounds. To put it shortly, each time I've felt that way I start to feel physically sick. That's usually why things don't develop any further." Nadia sighed. "I just go back to ballet, because it feels safe and familiar. But it's also incredibly boring, you know? You love something but you kind of find it boring at times." She looked down to her hand that had accidentally touched his and she smiled a little before continuing. "Sometimes I wish I could just screw ballet for a week, or two or three and just do whatever I want. The craziest things, whatever comes to mind really. Go somewhere interesting, do something that gives you a nice adrenaline rush... yeah, it would be nice."<br/><br/>Nadia smiled a little. "But, of course, doing all those things alone wouldn't be fun. If there was someone with me, someone I loved even if it made me sick and just wouldn't care about it, it would be perfect." She rolled her eyes a little. "Sounds pretty corny right? Everybody probably wants that. You know, for the longest time I told myself that love is that one random guy I'm going to meet one day, get married with and have kids with. But I'm starting to doubt that a little." Nadia looked thoughtful for a moment. "It doesn't have to go that way, right? It could be different. It could be fast, exciting, full of crazy passion and spontaneity. And it wouldn't have to be some average guy, right? Not just someone who compliments your personality. It could be someone who's similar yet also really different and who makes you happy, sad and angry. That would be interesting."