Ariella hadn’t meant to hurt him. That had been the last thing she’d wanted to do. But of course, it would have, wouldn’t it? It hurt her to write the words, and more than that it hurt to say them out loud to someone else, while he looked on and she tried not to look at him. Then again, she hadn’t known he would be here at all when she had written them.<br/><br/>Had she known who Valor was, that he would be here, maybe she would have chosen to say something different. Maybe she would have said something pretty and empty, instead of something filled with so many memories of the time they had spent together. She had wanted to say these words to him, to let him know that this was how she truly felt; that even if she had to vow herself to someone else, her heart was his, that it probably always would be. Even though she was looking at Jalice, she realized that she<span style="font-style: italic">was</span>saying these words to Valor.<br/><br/>Even though she wanted him to know how she truly felt, if she had known it was him, would it have been selfish to tell him now? If she had known it was him, would she have chosen to bury her love to spare him the pain that came with knowing the truth? Did it hurt more to know the truth you it couldn’t change reality? Or did not knowing hurt worse? She didn’t know the answer.<br/><br/>All she knew for sure was that after she and Jalice had shared their brief kiss, Valor hadn’t been able to stay there any longer. Maybe she shouldn’t have, but she couldn’t help but look at him as he walked past them. She could see the pain in his eyes, even if no one else could. She knew that it was her fault that he was hurting, and that only made it harder to bear. She realized then that she wished she could take away his pain, that she could always protect him from that pain. She also realized that some part of her might be willing to do anything, even watch the world burn, if it meant sparing him even a little pain. But that was not something a princess should think or feel, was it?<br/><br/>Every fiber of her being wanted to just throw it all away right now, to reach out and grab hold of him as he passed by, to hold him and kiss him, to tell him that she was sorry, that she loved him, to make that hurt in his eyes disappear. She only barely managed not to do just that. Her hand almost moved to grab his as he passed by, but instead she balled her hands into fists so tight that if her nails had been any longer, they would have dug into her skin and drawn blood. Her knuckles turned white and her hands trembled slightly from being held so tightly.<br/><br/>It felt like all the muscles in her body trembled lightly as she fought with herself to remain rooted where she stood, watching him run away when all she wanted to do was run after him. She was grateful that she was not the only one who had stared as he walked by, because it took all of her self-control not to move, not to say anything, not to let all of her pain and longing show clearly on her face. She didn’t think she had anything left to stop her from watching him go.<br/><br/>It had felt like an eternity passed by in those few moments before thunderous applause erupted in the chapel as the congregation rose to cheer their union. She felt a bitter taste in her mouth as everyone seemed to be so happy around them, not even one realizing the cost of their happiness and safety. They didn’t care. Even if they’d known, they wouldn’t have cared. It probably seemed like a small price to pay, to rob them of their lives, of their happiness, so that everyone else could live in peace, safety, and happiness.<br/><br/>It was a small price to pay, yet right then, she felt empty and bitter, even as she watched one of her dreams come true, as humans and vampires alike left the chapel together to head towards the feast. The smells that wafted around them would have been pleasant on a normal day, but right now they only made her feel sick. Right now, they seemed disgusting, and they soured the already bitter taste in her mouth.<br/><br/>Her purple gaze shifted to Jalice when he spoke up, telling her that her heart was beating rapidly—something she was aware of, but unable to control, all things considered. He informed her that her had fed extra so that he would not feel compelled to feed from her—something which she was grateful for—before mentioning that he didn’t have the same self-control as his brother. Her mind suddenly flashed back to the night when they’d first met, how he had resisted feeding from her in the forest, how he had been so controlled as he patiently took his time to make sure that she was comfortable before he’d fed from her, as gently as he could.<br/><br/>She felt a tear slide down her cheek as she realized that all of that was nothing more than a memory now, and she was now facing a life that would be entirely different. It wasn’t as if Jalice seemed like a bad guy or anything. Thus far, he actually seemed nicer than she had expected, but even so, he was not the one she loved. But then, she was not the one he loved, either.<br/><br/>She had managed not to cry, despite the single tear that had spilled over, but she felt that cold feel setting in again. Jalice stood right in front of her as he spoke, yet to her he sounded almost muffled, as though he were far away. She registered the words he spoke, telling her that he hadn’t wanted to marry her either, that her presence had ruined his life, going on about Rosalie and the suit he wore, before drawing the same conclusion she had; he didn’t love her, nor did she love him, but they were husband and wife now, and they were expected to consummate this marriage.<br/><br/>She might have been hurt by the reality that she was unwanted, that she had ruined his life, that she was unloved and alone, but she didn’t think she had anything left to give. Maybe she would wake up tomorrow and remember those words and it would hurt, not just for her own pain, but for his. Because she had never wanted to hurt anyone. She didn’t know him, but she didn’t wish to cause him pain, nor did she wish to cause this Rosalie pain, either. She had agreed to this marriage to save lives, to bring peace and happiness to the masses, not to bring pain to anyone. Yet, it seemed that the pain she had caused by agreeing to this was very real; for herself, for Valor, for Jalice, and for Rosalie.<br/><br/>Right now, though, she didn’t have it in her to say this, or even to process the weight of that grief. Instead, she just nodded an understanding, saying nothing as she complied with his attempt to grab her hand. She offered no resistance as he led her away from the chapel. She wanted to resist, but she hadn’t the strength left, and it would only make things harder on both of them while changing nothing, so it was pointless.<br/><br/>She paid no mind to the scenery all they walked through the halls. When they’d arrived, she had been fascinated by the glowing walls, wondering if it was magic and how it worked, but now, it might as well have been pitch black. The walk back to their bedroom seemed all at once to be an eternity and not nearly long enough, as they arrived well before she had the time to accept this fate. Then again, it probably wouldn’t have mattered, because she didn’t think she ever would.<br/><br/>She walked into the room without any apparent hesitation, though, and her eyes quickly glanced around the room. On some level, she recognized that the room has been furnished with her in mind, but that was of little comfort, and it did nothing to ease any apprehension she might have felt. She would probably appreciate it later, but for the moment, her mind was otherwise occupied.<br/><br/>She turned her attention to Jalice when he moved to sit on the bed, her purple eyes gazing back into the scarlet of his own eyes, showing no apparent unease beneath the weight of his gaze, and never once turning her gaze away. When he looked away, she shifted her own gaze off to the side, until he spoke again. He apologized before continuing to speak for a moment, and she felt her own tension ease, if only a little.<br/><br/>“I understand,” she told him softly as he stood and walked over to her. “I’m sorry, too. I haven’t been warm and inviting, either. And I have spent the whole night wishing it were someone else standing in front of me, too,” she said, wanting him to know that he wasn’t alone in that. This fate was cruel and unfair, but they were in it together, and there was no reason they couldn’t at least be friendly and understanding towards one another. Even if fate was cruel to them both, they didn’t have to be cruel to one another.<br/><br/>She felt that little itch to run building up when his arms slid around her and unzipped her dress. But even though she didn’t want this, even though she probably would have given anything for he and Valor to trade places, that couldn’t happen. Like it or not, it was reality. There was no way around this, so she would just have to bite her tongue and get through it. The less she fought it, the quicker it would be over with.<br/><br/>Her eyes remained fixed on his, her gaze not wavering even though she felt not warmth or comfort in them, even though for once she really did wish she could avert her gaze. Instead, she didn’t fight it, slipped out of her dress once he had unzipped it. She then went to work undoing the buttons on his suit jacket, not necessarily out of an excitement to get started, but because she knew that there was no sense in dawdling or being timid. It would change nothing, and it would only draw this out and likely make it more uncomfortable for both of them.<br/><br/>She had gotten much more bold over the past few weeks with Valor, but she had come to know him, she had grown comfortable with him and gotten to know some of his quirks, and the things he liked. This was new and she was not comfortable; she knew nothing of Jalice, and if she were being honest, she didn’t have any desire to learn these intimate details about him. She likely would, but not out of interest or desire, but simply because such was the nature of things.<br/><br/>Even as she acted now, moving on to his vest and shirt, it was not out of boldness or desire. It was out of the necessity of the situation, and a desire to avoid punishing them both by drawing this out and making it unnecessarily uncomfortable. It was almost like a business transaction, although, when she thought about it, she didn’t know that it really helped to think about it this way.<br/><br/>--<br/><br/>Rosalie knew how unlike her this action had been. She was never so openly affectionate or vulnerable, but she couldn’t help it right now. She needed the comfort of the familiar and friendly arms. It helped to settle her restless heart, and to ease her pain, if only a little.<br/><br/>When asked if the wedding was over, Rosalie nodded, unable to bring herself to say the words out loud. It was already real, whether she said it aloud or not; there was no denying that he was now married to someone else but saying it out loud would only make the pain more real. She wasn’t ready for it yet.<br/><br/>She found it hard to keep her emotions in check when Crying Kera hugged her from behind and she was enveloped by the comfortable feeling of the familiar arms both from in front and from behind. “It has been a long time, hasn’t it?” she said, choosing to focus on this instead of whatever pitiful feelings threatened to break free. She was about to go back into her usual aggressive mode and chide her for not visiting more often, but the arms were suddenly loosed from around her.<br/><br/>She looked back to see Angry Kera, who was, admittedly, her favorite, pulling Cry Kera away. She couldn’t help but feel a little amused. It was always interesting, being around Kera. It was hard to truly be mad at her when there were so many different sides to her. But that just made her special; not to mention fun.<br/><br/>She hugged Angry Kera and couldn’t help but smile a little. She still felt sad, heartbroken, but the edge had been taken off, at least for the moment. “I will definitely take you up on that. I could use a good fight right now. Especially against someone I don’t need to hold back against,” she said, trying not to sound as pathetic as she felt. “You better not leave me for so long again, you jerk,” she warned, although her voice didn’t sound as harsh as the words might imply.<br/><br/>“So, what are you doing here, anyways?” she asked, pulling back from Angry Kera to look between the three of them. “Did you come for the wedding?” she wondered, trying to distract herself and focus on something else. Talking about the wedding itself wouldn’t help, and saying those words still felt like a blade was slid up into her heart, but focusing on Kera rather than herself would be a welcomed distraction.