She knew she had gotten to him. She could feel his restraint. A woe they both shared at the moment. A searing feeling of tension. Neither party able to bend to the will of the other. She couldn’t go on with him thinking her life had been a happy ending, up to a falsified marriage, she never wanted. She couldn’t live like that.<br/><br/>Walking past him was hard but manageable. Her silk kimono flew open at her knees as she passed elegantly a few raven strands trailing behind her in her deadly wake. She was a very unforgiving woman these days. Once just a temptress to his dangerous desires. Once so tangled up in his eyes much like his claws tangled in her long locks. She was now so much more. She was a woman in love… a woman with a need for her Mate to know her troubles. Maybe he would hate her… perhaps he would even lash out at her for talking about Natsu in such a way. She really didn’t know. Often times, more than not, she found herself throwing her hands in the air.<br/><br/>It was at that moment that she found stillness in her body; feeling Chikage latch onto her arm. It kept the beauty from charging on ahead. It kept her from hating him… just when she thought she had gained some space. He always reeled her back in. Was this it? What would he do to her now? Would he punish her? Would he praise her. Either way her arm tensed at his touch. She wasn’t used to it and she felt conflicted.<br/><br/>A delicate dance they performed.<br/><br/>Looking back at him with wide yet defiant eyes she looked to his hand hat had tightly wound itself around her skin. Looking back up at him with her lavender hues… she could only feel her gaze soften a bit. His words sinking in.<br/><br/>He was worried. He actually sounded worried. And angry… and vengeful.<br/><br/>Lillium found herself speechless. He actually cared about their relationship. Not just her or her body but them, as a pairing. She couldn’t lie to herself. Her heart sped up.<br/><br/>He was the one man she couldn’t tune out, the one that always found a way to her heart.<br/><br/>His hand softened on her arm and she visibly relaxed. Listening to him she tried to find her thoughts. She wasn’t used to this side of him. She didn’t know how to adjust to this. She even visibly shift as if slightly uncomfortable under his strong gaze.<br/><br/>The raven haired beauty could only pause and take a moment to breathe. Closing her eyes she tried to corner her thoughts…<br/><br/>“I used to think you were a means to an end. I used to think and dream that you would take me away from my hellish life. That you would make it all go away with a swipe of your sword. You called to me because you were powerful. I found you enchanting because you held control… and I found you to be an undying need with those devilish eyes of yours. I felt into your hands willingly; never thinking that I would be more than just some beauty you would tell the men back at the Mansion. But here we are… years later… bound for eternity having a typical lover’s spat. You killed a man because he wanted me as his bride. And I am having a hard time believing you are not a dream. Especially when you say such things. I have taken my fair share of damage in the past years in your absence and your touch jolts me. Your voice haunts me… “<br/><br/>Looking up into his eyes she sighed. “And your eyes paralyze me. “Placing a hand on his chest she let her clawed fingertips spread… a few fingers slipping under the folds of his shirt.<br/><br/>“I still find you powerful… enchanting and you are still the most gorgeous man I have ever seen in all my years of living. You were worth fighting the Shinsengumi… you were worth the bloodshed. You still are. However, I thought you were a means to an end… and it turns out… I have even more problems than I started with. I didn’t realize that meeting you was just the beginning… I surprised myself when I aimlessly wandered Edo for you. Then I realized I needed that. I needed to search for you. Because I realized, I needed you. Neither some half physical need nor did the fear of loneliness drive me.” Looking at her palm on his chest she half smiled.<br/><br/>“I finally learned I needed someone. That someone just so happened to be you. The tough part was living with… the fact you weren’t there. You were not there when I needed that. And one night… could never make up for that. I miss you even though you are right in front of me. I miss you so much it hurts. And thinking about going home… your home brings me so much joy but at the same time it terrifies me. You have an image to uphold and no one respects me because of Nastu’s dealings. I’m not sure how much more conflicted I can feel. I feel like an abandoned embarrassment. To you and your people...”