It slowly began to dawn on Nathan that he was the one who was trying to appease his own guilt and shame. He had sold himself so many times and had played the whore for so long that he wanted to prove to himself... not just her... but to himself that he wasn't just a play toy... this time he wasn't just giving himself to another rich powerful woman with a deep pocket book.<br/><br/>Nathan smiled sadly, "I am sorry, I didn't mean to blame you... its just well, I am sort of a whore... No I am one, even though I don't like admitting it," he admitted and blushed, "And well, its hard for me to split relationships and business apart... I guess that happens when you like your job too much," he grinned, but his eyes were sad, "I have a hard time being paid, because I actually have feelings for you... and well, I am used to being used... I like being used, but I think are the only one who actually really cared about me as individual," he said leaning closer to her.  "And I like the sexy games we play!" he informed her, his eyes alight again.<br/><br/>"I know you are acting, and I like it," he purred slowly undoing the rest of his buttons so that his shirt fell open, showing off his chest and abdomen, "I am the one who thinks myself as inferior," he explained,  "You make me feel important and wanted, and I feel so bad that you are paying me money for something that I want as well," he grinned.<br/><br/>"I like it when you are kinky and we play rough," he assured her, "Don't worry about me, with that I am making from the first contract is more than enough to make me very well off and to make my mother comfortable for the rest of her short few years of her life," he grinned. "I like being your PNC," he assured her. "<br/><br/>Nathan grew quiet as he felt Elysia grow somber, and he felt terrible for destroying the intimate bonding moment they had been having by asking such painful questions. However when told him about the hindrances he laughed when she informed him that she couldn't go out in the sun.<br/><br/>"I wish I could go out in the sun, but because I can't get any pigment, I burn really bad, some of the applicants were staring at me like I was a vampire when I got in line for the interviews," he chuckled,  and looked down feeling bad for laughing, he could see the pain and despair on her face, he wanted to comfort her some how... he was being a terrible PNC right now, probably a terrible friend as well.<br/><br/>"No... I wouldn't want to be like you," he admitted looking down at the floor and then back up at her, "I wish I could be with you and share your pain and keep you company," he insisted. "I am sure drinking cold blood out of a chilled plastic bag has to be better than drinking those nutritional sludge shakes," he added and with a grimace.<br/><br/>He then looked down, "I feel so bad, I wish... I wish I didn't have to be one of those that cause you grief... I want to believe you won't get tired of me," he smiled weakly "But eventually I will get weaker and you won't want to feed from me anymore... and you won't find me attractive and I will just end up,  just hanging around until I am just fading away," he sighed.<br/><br/>He then glanced up and then grinned, "However in the meantime, while I am still young and sexy! I am not going to waste another second driving you crazy," he grinned, and quickly set the lunch tray aside, and leaned for kissing her passionately on the lips, "You mentioned something about handcuffs at the dressing room?" he prompted, "And about that reward for being so good in the car," he teased... as she had not agreed on a reward only possibly a lighter punishment.