Havoc had specifically not picked out the shirt Auxana switched his out for because he recognized that most women wouldn't wear that. He didn't care himself, he just wanted Auxana to be happy, in fact he felt a little guilty picking things out before she got a chance to look, but she didn't seem upset about it. As she embraced him, he hugged her back and closed his eyes. Trying to commit this moment to memory, it was the first time he had really gone shopping like this and was specifically glad it was with Auxana. "There's not really men's outfits here, and I am wanting to be male. But somehow I don't think it'll matter, I think this will be all I can afford, I just doubt I'll have enough for another outfit and still have enough money for necessities." He was glad, being in these constricting robes would be an okay excuse not to dance, especially since he was hardly graceful no matter what he wore.<br/><br/>Havoc went to go pay, Stalker looked at all they had gotten and then said. "I really approve of this shirt by the way. Now, all together it will be 83gc." Havoc looked at him with disbelief. "What? Even with a sale, that would maybe get me the skirt back in Tycroot, considering the materials and the craftsmanship required." Stalker just shrugged. “We enjoy making them, and want other people to enjoy them too, so why would we make them harder for people to purchase?”<br/><br/>Havoc shook his head wondering if he heard that right. “That’s… That’s an incredibly nice way to look at things. Is the whole town like this?” Stalker thought about it for a second and then said. “Well, Meena wants us to have fun and enjoy living, not worry about and focus on things like money. The goddess we serve is about relaxing and being happy, so we all aid that by eliminating the stress that we can.”<br/><br/>Havoc’s heart took somewhat of a dive, he spoke almost talking to himself. ”You’re making this place sound pretty appealing. Low capitalism, kind light-hearted people who want to minimize stress, amazing fashion, and community parties to bring people together. This place also feels like it’s perfect for you Auxana.” Stalker thought about what he said, deducing that the two of them might be looking to settle down somewhere. He was thinking that if they could make a living here, that they would be welcome, but he noticed Havoc’s hesitance. “And what about you, is it perfect for you?”<br/><br/>Havoc felt very conflicted, he wanted what Auxana did, and this was the most at ease he had ever seen her, aside from when she was singing. If this was truly what was better for her then what he was after didn’t matter. But he was also hoping to get something to help Auxana be able to talk to him at Lubinnia too. Though was that just selfish and should he toss it aside, or would Auxana do better being able to express herself better? And would she want him to become male or not care, was his caring selfish? He might be able to accomplish both those things himself given time. But Lubinnia was somewhere he always wanted to go, and the people their would encourage his dark magic, not start angry mob over it. Which did bring up the question how these people would react to it.<br/><br/>Havoc finally realised he was over thinking things, all his reasons for wanting to argue whether they should stay or not were his wants verse hers, what was best for both of them was hard to say, so it came down to desire. And in the end Havoc couldn’t give two godcoins about his own desires, what he wanted was to matter to someone, despite everything Auxana still stayed with him, she’s helped him to, even if he didn’t deserve it. She must care at least some, she must see something good in him that matters, so she took priority, in everything. “Auxana is perfect for me, so being where she is, is perfect.” Stalker couldn’t help but smile at that, he was a big fan of love and thought the two of them were cute together.<br/><br/>Havoc handed him the coins, then took Auxana’s hand. With that line of thinking out of the way Havoc was a lot more relaxed. He looked down at Auxana and smiled, this was another memory he wanted to keep forever, nothing special, just holding her hand. He felt so good because having her here felt like he mattered, that being on this planet had importance, that it was good he was alive. A lot of his depression was feeling like being alive doesn’t matter to anyone or anything. If nothing else, right now he felt there was worth in his existence, so any sacrifice he had to make for Auxana would be easy to do. He then looked her in the eyes, smiling lovingly at her. “Did you want to change before we go?” He knew there was changing rooms in the back, and it would probably be the best time to do it unless they got a room at the inn before going to the rave.<br/><br/>___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________<br/><br/><br/>He didn’t turn at first, it was easier to not face her. “You didn’t do this Norah, you didn’t beat yourself up. Even if it was cause and effect, I didn’t choose to hurt you, I wouldn’t have done that, I would have.... I don’t know but not that, that was too far. The only reason it happened is because I’m a vampire, a monster. That’s cause and effect, I became a vampire, did a lot in the middle, then hurt you, it took a while but that’s exactly what I have been accused of.” His voice was tinged with sorrow, and his hands were shaking.<br/><br/>“I may not be a monster right now, but I could be later, and the damage is done. It would be the same thing if I hurt one of my children, I can’t live with myself after hurting someone I care so much about. I care about you, I had to make sure you were okay. But I don’t see how you can forgive me, look what I did, I looked at you with hate in my eyes and wanted to kill you. How can you look into my eyes and not see an enemy.” Then he did turn around, and what she saw was horrific. His face was burned and scarred all over, his whole body was. This was how he looked before becoming a vampire, his self image was incredibly low and in his emotional state his powers helped emulate that. His eyes however, they weren’t glowing as normal, but they were very caring eyes mixed with regret. Arguably his normal eyes were more beautiful than his glowing ones.