Matthew was smiling until she paused. His gaze following her eyes. He paled and backed up a step. Hugging it to himself. "Its nothing. Nothing." He said. His voice shaking. He looked at her. She was worried. So if she knew...she'd hate him for doing it to himself. His face got a pained look as he shook his head. "You'll...you'll...I can't..." he said. Tears in his eyes. He never ever cried in a long time but the look on her face made him feel she was going to hate him. "Its my own fault. It wasn't anyone else this time. You...you'll hate me. I can't. I'm sorry." He backed up from her. "I couldn't take the pain...I couldn't. I'm sorry your going to hate me." He said. He turned and ran from the room. Dropping the other knife he'd had in the hand in his other pocket when he jerked his hand out. It was covered in blood but not from this morning. It was from the other day. The day she saw his soul bleeding. His soul was bleeding today too. He kept running and didn't turn around at all. Running to the beach and collapsed there. Crying for the first time in a long time. She was going to hate him. She would. She would hate him now. He felt in his pockets. His eyes went wide. "Oh no...now she'll have proof of why she'll hate me." He cried harder until he fell asleep from crying. Afraid he'd no longer have a friend. That she'd be gone now because of something he needed to do to survive. Something he had no control over.