((There will be no in-character reply from me, this time. Lucky for you, other students are joining up as we speak! In the meantime, feel free to double-post. I don't think I made a rule concerning double-posts, but if I did, I am temporarily dispelling it until you get a play-mate.<br/><br/>As for your post, it was excellent, grammatically speaking. You have improved substantially since your first post, and I congratulate you. You seem to have taken more time to write this one and proofread it, which is awesome. There are, however, a few small mistakes that it is my duty to point out.<br/><br/>"Other's" is an incorrect usage of both plurals and commas. It is a common mistake among internet role-players to use apostrophes to indicate plurality. What you should know is that apostrophes are only ever used to indicate two things: possessiveness, and contractions. In other words, apostrophes indicate when something belongs to someone or when part of a word has been taken out. For example, the sentence "Dalia's hooves are dainty," is a correct usage of an apostrophe to indicate possession. "Can't you understand that I wouldn't tell you that you shouldn't use apostrophes to indicate plurality if it wasn't true?" is a correct usage of apostrophes to indicate contractions. A contraction is when a phrase like "is not" is shortened by combining the two words and leaving out a space and some letters, replacing them with an apostrophe. The apostrophe stands in for the things that were taken out. A very simple way for you to tell when to use an apostrophe is to try to speak the whole phrase aloud; for example, when trying to determine when to use "its" or "it's", say "it is" aloud, and see if that would make sense in the sentence.<br/><br/>"Beconed" has a "k" in it, to make "beckoned." Also, they are Dalia's "hind" legs.<br/><br/>The last bit is a minor stylistic criticism: when you said that Dalia "nearly leapt" into her dream, I wasn't able to visualize what was going on. This is because I am not sure what a near-leap would look like. In general, I am not a fan of mitigated descriptions like that. Either she leaped, or she didn't. Maybe she did a sort of hop-skip. I don't know, but she did something, and I wish it had been more clearly described. That is all. Keep up the good work.