After Dalia had answered the question, but before Nasht and Kaman-Tha could reply, Sophronia faded into the ether without a sound. No trace of her was left, not even a foot-print. The two priests did not appear surprised to see her go, for dreamers often awoke before they could enter the gate to the Steps of Deeper slumber. Thus they paid her sudden vanishment no heed.<br/><br/>The four pale white eyes of the gatekeepers locked onto Dalia, and in reply to her answer they took their hands out of their robes and gestured simultaneously towards the gate, which opened silently outwards. The landing of a spiral staircase was revealed, its deep, wide stone steps leading downward into a murky shaft. This was the main entrance into the world of Dream. There was no fanfare or greeting, and no ceremony beyond the gestures of the gatekeepers, who beckoned for Dalia to go forth and enter. She needed no other encouragement, for the dark maw of the gate seemed to pull her in, the huge stone doors closing noiselessly behind her and enveloping her in shadow. The only path lay ahead, down the Seven Hundred Steps.<br/><br/>((Hello again, and welcome back to class. Letâ€™s get right down to business.<br/><br/>â€œ<span style="font-style: italic">Dalia tilted her head curiously, her hair whispered over her breast plate softly as she considered the duo's question.</span>â€ This is a run-on sentence. There are two clauses here, that either need to be connected with a conjunction (like â€œandâ€) or separated and made into two sentences. There is also a third option; you could change the tense of the verb â€œwhisperedâ€ to â€œwhispering,â€ allowing you to keep one large sentence without the use of conjunctions. You couldnâ€™t add a third clause without the use of a conjunction, however. That would still be a run-on. Oh, and â€œbreastplateâ€ is all one word. You could also use a hyphen in there, to make â€œbreast-plate.â€ Many compound words can be written with hyphens, to add variety and a sort of old-fashioned touch.<br/><br/>â€œLosingâ€ has only one â€œo.â€<br/><br/>â€œ<span style="font-style: italic">Shaking her head slightly, she pushed the thought away, she could think about that when it arose.</span>â€ Where you put a comma between â€œawayâ€ and â€œsheâ€ would be a perfect place to put a semi-colon instead. (A semi-colon is this â€œ;â€). Otherwise, itâ€™s a run-on sentence, and Iâ€™ve already told you what you can do to fix those. Semi-colons are another option, so that makes four in total so far. With so many ways to avoid run-on sentences, it makes me wonder how people end up writing them so often these days. Ah, well.<br/><br/>â€œ<span style="font-style: italic">â€˜Being tied down,â€™ she said with a bit of edge to her voice as she answered.</span>â€ It would be â€œa bit of an edgeâ€, not â€œa bit of edge.â€ Or, you could say â€œ<span style="font-style: italic">Being tied down,â€ she said edgily</span>; much easier. You will find that there is almost always a way to use fewer words to say what you are trying to say. That doesnâ€™t mean you should speak in monosyllables, of course, but itâ€™s a good general rule to be concise. This makes it easier for the reader to follow and understand your writing. A lot of people think that longer phrases and clever wording makes writing sound intelligent, but it does just the opposite if overdone. Also, â€œas she answeredâ€ is unnecessary. We already know she is answering. That is exactly what she is doing, and it doesnâ€™t need to be brought to the attention of the reader. This is part of something you will hear me (and high-school English teachers) going on about constantly, called â€œshow, donâ€™t tell.â€ Readers can infer quite a lot of information from a good writer without having to be told a darn thing. For example, in dialogue, when you would expect a character to respond to something angrily and the response sounds angry (perhaps another character just insulted her mother), you donâ€™t need to call attention to the fact that the character is angry. All you need to do is write what she said, and put an exclamation mark at the end. â€œShut up, you putrescent whore!â€ needs no further explanation. I will explain the finer points of the â€œshow, donâ€™t tellâ€ philosophy as the class progresses, but for now, just try to understand that good description, action, and dialogue donâ€™t need much fluffing up with extra information. Always choose very carefully what you need to say, and then say it and be done with it.))