Bronagh trudged along the narrow path through the forest, paying no attention to where she was going. She had risen early and left the cave soon after dawn, ostensibly to gather materials for baskets and cording, but ending up wandering through the trees, lost in thought.<br/>As usual, Bronagh found herself wondering why her totem had left her, where he had gone. Water Dragon had protected her for more than seven seasons, but had left her right after the earthquake... or maybe during it. Her memories of that horrific day were strangely scattered, mostly composed of flashes of scenes and feelings. She could remember the queasy knot in the pit of her stomach when the earth had started to shake. The rising panic as the shaking grew worse and worse, the land rolling like the waves of the sea, pitching gigantic rocks and trees around like pebbles and twigs. The rising dust obscuring her vision. The screams of fear and pain from the other members of the cave. The cave itself, collapsed, a mass burial cairn for those who had been trapped inside and killed by the falling rocks.<br/>It was right after Lyall had gathered the survivors together that Bronagh had noticed that she felt different. She felt empty. The smoldering kernal that resided somewhere behind her breastbone had not only extinguished, it had disappeared entirely. She didn't realize until several days later that the smoldering kernal had been her perception of her totem. Now the feeling was gone, and Bronagh felt alone and naked in a way that she hadn't felt in years.<br/>Bronagh knew she shoud talk to the Shaman Azura, but she had no idea how to articulate what she felt. What she knew. She didn't know the words to express the emptiness she felt, the dull ache, the feeling of abandonment and raw fear. The sheer vulnerabilty to the Beast that stalked her from within her own mind.<br/><span style="font-style: italic">Water Dragon has abandoned you. He saw you for the pathetic weakling that you are.</span>The Beast whispered in Bronagh's mind. It had been whispering more and more since Water Dragon had disappeared, no longer held at bay by the totem's fearsome strength. The instant that Bronagh had realized what had happened, the Beast had roared, exulting in its freedom and the defenselessness of its prey. This was the proof that her totem really had gone, that he was no longer protecting her.<br/><span style="font-style: italic">You are nothing. So insignificant... You deserve it, deserve the pain. You know you do.</span>The Beast slithered to the front of Bronagh's mind, taking over her thoughts.<span style="font-style: italic">You have a knife. It's been so long. The sweet, sharp pain... hot blood dripping so slowly...</span><br/>Bronagh gritted her teeth and curled her hands into fists, refusing to give in to the Beast's persistant whispers. Lean muscles flexed beneath her skin, rippling the raised white scars that crisscrossed up and down her arms. Scars from cuts that she had inflicted with her own hand. Bronagh took a deep breath and began reciting aloud the counting words Azura had taught her, focusing on each one.<br/>"One. Two. Three."<br/><span style="font-style: italic">You've grown soft... couldn't even withstand a mere scratch.</span><br/>"Four. Five. Six."<br/><span style="font-style: italic">The rush, the high, the power pushing yourself beyond the limit...</span><br/>"Seven. Eight. Nine."<br/><span style="font-style: italic">DO IT!!</span><br/>"NO!" Bronagh screamed. She took off running, only habit keeping her feet on the path leading back to the cave. She sucked in deep breaths, pushing herself to run as fast as she could, concentrating on keeping her footing and avoiding the tree limbs that stretched across the trail. She ran until she thought her lungs would burst and her legs might give out, and finally slowed down to a walk, panting and holding a pain in her right side. She glanced up at the sun, just realizing how late it had gotten.<br/>'The hunt.' She thought as her heart sank. Hunting was one of the few things that could distract her from her misery, and she had missed it.<br/><span style="font-style: italic">Worthless...</span>the Beast hissed, and Bronagh shook her head, a futile attempt to quiet her tormentor. She forced herself into a trot, trying to make it back to the cave in time to help with the skinning and cleaning. It wasn't far, and within moments she heard excited voices and smelled the blood. The butchering had already started.