The clack of hooves upon stone alerted the gate-guardians to the presence of a newcomer long before their ancient eyes beheld her. This one was a centaur - tall, proud and haughty. Not many of her kind entered the Dreamlands by way of the Seventy Steps, for most of her race had their own abode apart from the waking world and seldom left it. She must, they supposed, be from a world other than Earth, and had gotten lost on the way to her worldâ€™s Dreamland. It was thus that the glowing white eyes of Nasht and Kaman-Tha looked upon the centaur with surprise and curiosity.<span style="font-weight: bold">Angling her head down, she looked at them quizzically. What were they doing in her dream? Clearing her throat, she rolled the tension out of her shoulders and swished her black tail.<br/>"Beg pardon, but what are you doing here?" she asked calmly.</span><br/><br/>A moment passed before the old priests straightened their wizened backs and re-folded their hands into their twinkling robes. Their reply was in unison, their deep and raspy voices reaching the centaurâ€™s ears without an echo in the empty abyss. â€œWe are Nasht and Kaman-Tha, guardians of the gate of Dream. We are here doing what we have been tasked to do since time immemorial. The better question for you to ask us, is what are you doing here?â€<br/><br/>It was just then that another Dreamer appeared.<span style="font-weight: bold">Sophronia walked up to the three slowly, cautiously, and curiously. "Might I ask what is going on here?" she asked, approaching boldly.</span>â€œYou may,â€ replied the gate-guards, â€œfor we are here to answer questions, as well as ask them. You both are standing before the gates of Earthâ€™s Dreamlands; though, truth be told, the Dreamlands of all living things are interconnected, and beyond these gates you may meet Dreamers from every world among the stars. Some even come from beyond this reality, but we doubt you would want to meet them. Before either of you can pass beyond this gate, you must each pass our test. Fear not, for your tests are mere questions, one for each of you.â€<br/><br/>The two ancient men turned their starry gaze upon Dalia first. â€œTo you, we ask this: What do you fear most?â€ They turned next to Sophronia. â€œTo you we ask, which way is up?â€ Nasht and Kaman-Tha, having asked their questions, resumed their normal stances by the sides of the great stone gate, their eyes fixed upon the foot of the Seventy Steps above. â€œChoose your answers carefully,â€ they said. â€œThe world of Dream is a wondrous place, but harsh on fools, whom we may not suffer to pass.â€<br/><br/>((@ Crane and Sweet Sacrifice: Congratulations on making your first posts in my class! Iâ€™m glad to have you both here. That being said, letâ€™s get down to the business of learning. Please edit your posts after reading my critique.<br/><br/><a href="//www.creativefreedomrpg.com/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&amp;u=327">@Crane</a>: Letâ€™s examine this sentence you wrote: â€œUsually, she dreamed of recieving a new weapon or becoming the first female Warlord-or Warlady, with her being a female.â€ First, itâ€™s â€œiâ€ before â€œeâ€, except after â€œc.â€ Itâ€™s just a minor typo, of course, but one that can be avoided with proofreading. Over time, I expect you to be able to avoid these simple spelling mistakes almost completely. Secondly, when using hyphens, you must put a space both before and after the hyphen. You used the hyphen correctly, otherwise. Hyphens can take the place of semi-colons in certain situations, to add variety. Third, the part that comes after the hyphen in this sentence is awkwardly worded. Iâ€™m actually not an expert in the technical aspects of English, as you will find, but what I do have is an innate knowledge of what styles of writing are appropriate for certain situations, and which are not. In this case, â€œwith her being a femaleâ€ is awkwardly phrased. It may be appropriate in dialogue, or in everyday conversation, but when writing description in prose, you want to be clearer. Something like, â€œsince she is a female,â€ or â€œdue to her sexâ€ would be more appropriate. Even better, you could just drop that part entirely, because due to your use of feminine pronouns, we already know that Dalia is a female. You could just say â€œUsually, she dreamed of receiving a new weapon or becoming the first female Warlord - or rather, Warlady.â€ That would be much clearer and well-written. Whenever possible, avoid using too many words. Always use just enough to get your meaning across.<br/><br/>The rest of your post has similar mistakes. Dalia would stare â€œatâ€ the men in robes, not â€œtoâ€ them.  You need spaces between the hyphens. â€œThey seemed rather thin compared to her armorâ€ makes little sense, because I doubt you are comparing the thickness of the priests to the thickness of Daliaâ€™s armor itself. You might try this: â€œThey seemed rather thin compared to her in her armor.â€ It is spelled â€œhalberdâ€, not â€œhalburd.â€ â€œSlinging her halberd over her shoulder for both an easier swing and she wanted to save her strength for when she would need itâ€ is a jumbled mess.  All you need to say to describe what you are getting at is â€œslinging her halberd over her shoulder for both an easier swing and to save her strength for when she needed it.â€ â€œQuizzicallyâ€ has two â€œzâ€™sâ€. That is all for now.<br/><br/>@Sweet Sacrifice:  Sophronia is wondering what new place<span style="font-weight: bold"><span style="text-decoration: underline">her</span></span>dreams had taken her to this time.<span style="font-weight: bold"><span style="text-decoration: underline">Her</span></span>facial expression was filled with pure curiosity. There is almost never a wrong time to use pronouns. Magical-looking is a single compound word, and needs a hyphen. Never start a sentence with a conjunction like â€œbut.â€ In this case, all you need to say is â€œThis excited her.â€ The â€œshe askedâ€ after  â€œMight I ask what is going on hereâ€ doesnâ€™t need to be capitalized. When using a phrase like â€œshe askedâ€ or â€œshe saidâ€ after a quote, it is never capitalized. When the preceding sentence would end with a period, replace it with a comma. Otherwise, keep the original punctuation. For example, this would be correct: [â€œI know how to use commas after quotes,â€ said Sophronia.] This would be incorrect: [â€œI know how to use commas after quotes.â€ Said Sophronia. ] This one would be correct: [â€œI know how to use commas after quotes!â€ shouted Sophronia.] So would this: [â€œDo I know how to use commas after quotes?â€ Sophronia asked.] As you can see, you may also switch up the word order for variety.<br/><br/>The â€œâ€¦â€ you failed to use correctly are called ellipses, and they are only useful in a few situations, usually for dramatic effect. You donâ€™t need them here. A simple comma will suffice. â€œShe was thoroughly excited, and yet curious, all at the same time,â€ technically needs no commas. Contrary to popular belief, you should not use a comma every time that you might pause if you were speaking the sentence aloud.  The actual uses of commas vary on what style guide you are using, but I shall refer you to Wikapedia for some of the more common ones:m<a class="postlink" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comma">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comma</a>m))