I felt as though my world had been rocked with an explosion. All I could do was sit an stare at the poor teenage boy clinging to a bloody knife as though it was all that was keeping him sane.<br/><br/>"No. Nexo. Please, don't be sorry, allow me to be sorry. Everything you said was right. I was only doing this to get back into favor with Lucifer and I would have helped Braeden kill you without a thought because, again you are right, emotions mean absolutely nothing to me unless I am around Braeden and I don't know what life is like to be the only one, and I don't know why you are the only one." My mind swirled and spun coming up blank. Why<span style="font-style: italic">was</span>he the only one. "And I'm sorry if you thought I was different, but I'm not. I am Dezdymona and I will always be Dezdymona and well this is what I am. I am a calculating bitch and I have no problems putting myself before others because if I'm not the best then someone else is." I didn't know if my convoluted apology would make any sense to him but it soothed my pride. "And I am sorry for bringing up Braeden but I didn't mean it as a threat, I just didn't want you to think I was leading you on. I'm sorry I didn't tell you upfront what was going on. I didn't think that you would listen, so instead I tried to trick you."<br/><br/>I wanted to end the sentence with, Can you ever forgive me? But that would be stupid, because then what? We go back to being friends and skip off into the sunset? Not hardly. I had broken him down too far for him to ever re-build and he was right that I had thrown a knife in his face. And unless he was retarded he wouldn't trust me again. "Good-bye Nexo. I won't ever bother you again." I stood and turned away from his hunched frame and stepped onto the main road. I would never again be in the Host of Demons and chances of me being anything more than a lesser Demon were slim to none but at least Nexo would never be bothered by me again. As I rushed down the road, trying to remember the rhyme to open Hells Gate a strange thought occurred to me, what if Braeden and I had never become soulmates?