He had nothing but the utmost respect for his secretary; a couple of times, against his better judgment, he let her buy him lunch. He promptly thanked her with a slightly higher bonus in her paycheck. Normally he would go to the rectory and eat with some brothers who had committed themselves helping with the church.<br/><br/>But today he had to give in; his morning was so incredibly rough, he actually asked his assistant to turn off the secretary's phone and join him for lunch. His brothers had all their money paid for by the diocese; they knew very little about difficult times except to show up to services and do their public service to make themselves look good.<br/><br/>Fr. Luke's hands were shaking; things had never been this tight before. He had hoped her presence would calm him down a bit; praying on his rosary didn't help.<br/><br/>The phone began ringing; he looked at the caller ID. It was the Bishop's office. "Please stay. I just have to take this ... hello ... yes your excellency. I understand. Really? I see. Yes, I'll take care of it. Thank you. Goodbye."<br/><br/>He just couldn't take it anymore; he turned to her. "That was the Bishop. He says we're late on our Missions giving and also a parishioner called and complained I'm not spending enough time with everyone. Of course I'm not. I'm too busy ... mowing the lawn because no one else in the church apparently knows how to mow! And God forbid anyone tells me that people are in the hospital or are sick; how in the world am I supposed to visit them if I don't even know there's anything wrong with them!" Fr. Luke began escalating; he didn't raise his voice, he just started speaking fast and frustrated. He was careful not to point fingers at his secretary, she was his best friend ... oh ... he wasn't supposed to have female best friends. His headache started coming back.<br/><br/>"And I'm just going to stop giving homilies in my services; all I said was that we should love everyone and that teens who make mistakes or who are discovering their sexuality should receive love and understanding from adult figures. The next thing you know, some mother is yelling at me that I didn't come down on out of wedlock teen pregnancy; because you know what people: beating up on scared young ladies and making them think god is mad at them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week is a real good way to get people interested in religion" Fr. Luke said sarcastically. He was exasperated; there was so much more on his plate as he had to sit down and figure out why deposits weren't matching the financial books anymore. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't ..." But suddenly, he could no longer help it. He began to cry, and he could no longer control it. He had been with the church for only a year, and it seemed already there was a conspiracy to drive him out. It became uncontrollable; he could no longer think and the tears just kept coming.