<span style="font-size: 125%; line-height: 116%;">Teatime and he was already furious. Trembling with rage, the Kelerean could barely look the tentacled horror in its alien face, averting all of his eyestalks this way and that to grace the damnable ilithid with only his massive central eye. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"What do you mean by 'I ate Sir Geliant's brain', precisely?"</span><br/><br/>     The ilithid laughed. Psychically, of course, the mess of tentacles around the mouth never moving even as a thin, reedy voice projected its cackling into the Kelerean's head. <span style="color: #FFFFBF">"Well, as you know, I've had terrible luck catching adventurers lately, so when Geliant and his crew stumbled into the parlor, well..."</span> The horror giggled again, shrugging its shoulders in a practiced human gesture. <span style="color: #FFFFBF">"I couldn't help myself."</span><br/><br/>     The Kelerean's massive central eye narrowed, his tiny mouth frowning. He had no shoulders to shrug. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"You know Geliant was under my sway! I needed him for something!"</span> The beholder shook his eyestalks in anger. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"It's not as if I can just fly up there and get new servants whenever I want! And..."</span> He lowered his tone to a quiet pout, seeking sympathy from the tentacled monster standing across the table. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"My last evil scheme sort of... Backfired. I got the hobgoblins of Fort Breakfoot routed to a man, and the Council of Wickedness said that I was on my last legs. I can't afford to lose any tools right now."</span><br/><br/>     When the ilithid hissed, the Kelerean felt himself go cold. His instincts were correct. <span style="color: #FFFFBF">"Yeah... See, Kelerean old friend... That's kind of why I'm here."</span> The horror lifted a hand to absently brush some of its tentacles aside.<br/><br/> <span style="color: #BF00FF">" 'The' Kelerean, actually. And what do you mean?"</span> The beholder knew what the monster meant. He wasn't ready to face it though.<br/><br/>     With a raised hand, the alien said <span style="color: #FFFFBF">"you're out. We've had a vote, the Council has. You're just not delivering. I was told to thank you for your service, but dismiss you from the Council at this time."</span> It turned and began to walk away.<br/><br/> <span style="color: #BF00FF">"Wait!"</span> The Kelerean levitated a few feet after the departing ilithid, whining and hiding the two eyestalks he was tearing up in. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"I can't have been that bad! I mean, we still let the zombie giant come to Council meetings and he ate two other members last time!"</span> Desperate, the beholder telekinetically caught at the horror's robe, trying to slow him. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"I can be useful! I was a household name only two centuries ago!"</span><br/><br/> <span style="color: #FFFFBF">"Stop."</span> Finally turning back, the ilithid took a firm stance. <span style="color: #FFFFBF">"You're done. You're out of the Council of Wickedness, and the Tomes of Evil book club. Thanks for the snack, his brain was delicious."</span> And, with a flash of blue-white light, the alien was gone.<br/><br/><div style="text-align: center;">* * *</div><br/><br/>     For the next few weeks, the Kelerean could only mope. Nothing felt fulfilling like it had before. Terrifying those who fell into his lair was an empty joke, gloating over his treasure was a mockery of what it had once been. The beholder had found every devilish book he'd borrowed from the book club and burned them all, torn down the framed badge from the Council of Wickedness he'd once made the chief feature of his lair, and eaten each of his servants who mentioned the Council until he had only one left - an aging old dwarf woman with white hair and failing hearing. (<span style="color: #BF00FF">"Say something me about the Council, I dare you!"</span> he had shouted at her, and she had shouted back <span style="color: #4080FF">"WHAT?"</span>) He was in a terrible state, moping about the place, occasionally bumping into walls and mumbling about how back in the old days nobody'd dare kick him out of anything, not that he wanted to be a part of their idiotic little circle anyway.<br/><br/>     And that was when into his life fell Rekell Gra'at.<br/><br/><div style="text-align: center;">* * *</div><br/><br/>     Rekell was a half-orc woman, young but not naive, who'd spent the majority of her life getting into trouble and then back out again. She fell into the lair of the Kelerean quite accidentally, creeping away from the road into the woods looking for a place to go to the toilet as so many other unfortunates had done. With a surprised string of highly colorful phrases, she tumbled down through the false earth into the entry room of the Kelerean's home, losing her sword on the way. Well, this was a bad situation, yes, but the half-orc did not sneak around the lair but kicked open the massive swinging doors to the central chamber, finding the beholder floating within, back to her. <span style="color: #80FFFF">"HEY!"</span> She shouted angrily, confused when a voice from some other part of the lair shouted back <span style="color: #4080FF">"WHAT?"</span><br/><br/>     Turning, the Kelerean tried to smile an evil smile, but it fell apart all but immediately as he was hit in the central eye by a shoe Rekell had thrown at him. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"Ha ha h- OUCH! What the hell!?"</span> The beholder's eyestalks all pointed towards the half-orc, and he flew towards her with a sour look on his face. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"Do you not- OWW! Hey, quit it!"</span><br/><br/> <span style="color: #80FFFF">"You're lucky I'm out of shoes! What kind of miscreant plants a trap door directly beneath a woman when she's got business to take care of!?"</span> Rekell stood impertinently, staring up at the beholder with no sign of trepidation at all.<br/><br/> <span style="color: #BF00FF">"The door doesn't move!"</span> The Kelerean defensively floated a little higher from the floor, closing his central eye snidely. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"Anyway what kind of person interrupts The Kelerean!?"</span><br/><br/>     Rekell sneezed. <span style="color: #80FFFF">"-'scuse me. And who?"</span><br/><br/>     The beholder was stunned. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"The... The Kelerean? Highest of all beholders, lord of terror? The one who burned down Guyyeston? Flayed the Imperial Army alive?.. This one time I ate an orphanage whole?"</span> His lips twisted into an unconfident smile. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"Surely you've heard of me?"</span><br/><br/> <span style="color: #80FFFF">"Nope."</span> The half-orc wiped her nose on her arm, then walked past the beholder, picking up her shoes with her back to him. <span style="color: #80FFFF">"Guyyeston is a dump anyway, and I've never even seen an Imperial soldier."</span> She looked around herself at the lair, noticing a blank spot on the main wall across the way from where she'd come in. <span style="color: #80FFFF">"Hey what used to go there?"</span><br/><br/> <span style="color: #BF00FF">"NEVER YOU MIND, IMPUDENT MORTAL!"</span> The Kelerean floated high into the air, his central eye slowly turning a dark red. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"Now you will learn my name!"</span> He drew in a long breath, powering the eye-beams so many had been slaughtered by.<br/><br/> <span style="color: #80FFFF">"I did. It's Kelerean. Which is fine, I guess. A bit of a mouthful."</span> Rekell held out a hand as if to shake. <span style="color: #80FFFF">"Rekell. I like your house, even if your door is stupid."</span> She waited expectantly for the beholder to shake her hand - somehow.<br/><br/>     For a few moments, the Kelerean continued to draw in power, readying his display of power, but when the woman didn't move or even appear remotely bothered, his eye brightened again and he flew down towards her. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"Do you not- You know I'm going to kill you, right? You've fallen into my lair and now your life is over."</span><br/><br/> <span style="color: #80FFFF">"Why?"</span><br/><br/> <span style="color: #BF00FF">"Because that's what I do? I'm a monster. I bring fear and suffering on the good."</span><br/><br/> <span style="color: #80FFFF">"Why?"</span><br/><br/> <span style="color: #BF00FF">"Because that's what I've always done! I've been sowing dismay and torment since before your grandparents were born!"</span><br/><br/> <span style="color: #80FFFF">"Why?"</span><br/><br/> <span style="color: #BF00FF">"Because- Stop asking! It's just what I do, now shut up and die already!"</span><br/><br/> <span style="color: #80FFFF">"Do you like it?"</span> Rekell tilted her head to one side. <span style="color: #80FFFF">"You don't seem like you like it."</span><br/><br/>     The beholder hovered only inches from her, his massive eye eclipsing her upper body in size. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"I do like it! Who are you to say I don't!? I-"</span><br/><br/> <span style="color: #80FFFF">"-You seem sad."</span> The woman smiled. <span style="color: #80FFFF">"It's okay, though. Whatever's bothering you will get better, I'm sure. You won't let this keep you down."</span><br/><br/>     The Kelerean closed his eyes, all of them, taking a deep breath. When he opened them again, he had to hide several eyestalks to keep from showing tears. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"It's just... My friends are all jerks!"</span> He floated a bit backward, looking down. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"They kicked me out of the Council of Wickedness. I hit a little dry spell with nefarious plots and they push me out like I'm nothing!"</span> He let out a whining sound for a second. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"It's not like they're so great! That stupid alien is always forgetting things, the vampires won't stop telling everyone their secret! But no, it's me who gets dismissed."</span> His voice broke as he made eye contact with Rekell again. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"They won't even let me stay in the book club."</span><br/><br/>     With a concentrated frown, Rekell took in what she was being told. This was about average for beholders, she had heard, being so petty and self-absorbed that they were relatively ineffectual villains, despite incredible power. This news of a Council of Wickedness, though, a unified front of evil, this was troubling. Finally, she smiled at the Kelerean. <span style="color: #80FFFF">"I have an idea. And I think you're going to like it."</span><br/><br/><div style="text-align: center;">* * *</div><br/><br/>     Setting the plaque into the wall, over the empty spot his badge from the Council had once been framed, the Kelerean felt his heart swell with pride. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"There! That'll show them! I've moved on and I don't care what they have to say about it."</span> He floated over to his dwarf servant, his tone concerned but pleased. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"Make sure you have enough cake for everyone, I want this meeting to go well."</span><br/><br/> <span style="color: #4080FF">"WHAT?"</span><br/><br/>     With a sigh, the beholder floated over to the front chamber, recently mopped clean and now furnished with a collection of tables, benches, and even a rare subterranean fern Rekell had insisted on. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"They'll be here any minute now."</span> He smiled widely, humming a little tune he'd just dreamt up called 'All You Evil Bastards are Getting What's Coming to You'. Here are the words to go with it.<br/><br/><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-style: italic">All of you bastards,<br/>(All of you crooks,)<br/>Are going to die,<br/>(And I burned your books!)</span><br/><br/>* * *</div><br/><br/>     Collecting the right sort of adventurers had been a challenge, there's no denying. Rekell had been hard-pressed to find men and women who believed in good and wanted to fight to keep it safe - but were also pragmatic enough to accept the help of one villain in the pursuit of others. Thankfully, her natural spark of charisma was enough to sway a collection of fine warriors, wizards, rogues and rangers to follow her to the (now marked) entrance into the Kelerean's home. As the group made their way down into the chamber, Rekell flashed the Kelerean a wide smile. <span style="color: #80FFFF">"Take it away, boss."</span><br/><br/> <span style="color: #BF00FF">"Gentlemen, ladies,"</span> the beholder began, hiding a slight nervousness behind his smile. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"I'm the Kelerean. You might have heard of me! I'm the famed good beholder, known for rebuilding towns and saving orphans."</span> This embellishment had been suggested by Rekell. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"And I've gathered all of you here because there is a great evil in this land, an evil I can't fight alone. The Council of Wickedness, long rumored to pull the strings of darkness, are very real. After... Infiltrating their ranks, I can positively identify them and know tactics that will help you to destroy them!"</span> The beholder paused as his old dwarf servant made her way through the ranks, serving small plates of cake to the heroes present. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"Yes, Agnet, could we maybe-"</span><br/><br/> <span style="color: #4080FF">"-WHAT?"</span><br/><br/> <span style="color: #BF00FF">"Yes, of course, thank you Agnet."</span> The beholder frowned, a long minute of awkward silence ensuing until Agnet was gone again. <span style="color: #BF00FF">"Anyway, the point! I'm starting a guild here, I plan to fund your operations partially out of pocket and support the smiting of evil in the ways I can, in exchange for your loyalty to this guild and your proud carrying of the guild's name and reputation in your adventures. My friends, today we take the first step on the road to ending the Council of Wickedness!"</span> The beholder caught a wink from Rekell, grinned widely, and proclaimed <span style="color: #BF00FF">"today we become The Kelerean Fellowship!"</span></span>