She nodded her head with a smile as he told her where to find the pillows. "Thank you." Well...at least he was looking at his shoulder. She had to say that she was worried about how deep it might have been and just like she had insisted that she looked at his nose, she had wanted to look at his shoulder. But that would have meant that he had to take off his shirt and that was something she wanted to avoid at all possible costs. She just couldn't handle the idea of seeing bare flesh of the opposite sex. It would take years before she would be able to stand the thought though the sight...she probably wouldn't be able to handle it for the rest of her life. She let out a small sigh though she was satisfying that he was at least treating it in some way.<br/><br/>She let out a sigh as she tried to distract herself with the television, though she couldn't shake the thoughts of tomorrow from her mind. She stared mindlessly at the cartoons, trying to sort through her thoughts. She couldn't shake the feeling that things were only going downhill from here. She had already told Azrai that she was terrified and he said it was normal. Should she be this terrified? At any moment she felt like things were going to get out of hand. How would they be able to handle such events? Azrai was tired and injured. She couldn't rely on her other side, out of fear it would be too much to handle. Azrai's contacts were miles away. She trusted Azrai and trusted his capabilities but what if multiple people came to attack them? She didn't want to think that he would put his life on the line for someone like her. She wasn't that important. She had just got an identity that could quickly be erased. In this world, she had no one would care. She wasn't worth the risks that he was taking.<br/><br/>Her gaze flickered to Azrai as he moved into the kitchen; she supposed that it was time to go to sleep. She would need it. The importance tomorrow required sleep. If she was going to a nice place then she might as well look nice. She wanted to laugh, she was treating herself like some sort of inanimate object. Like some package that was used to being taken from place to place. She shook her head trying not to think such dark thoughts. But how was she to know that she was going into safe place? No, Azrai would be sure that she was out of harm's way, wouldn't he? She let out a groan as she stretched out on the couch, leaning her head on the arm rest. How was she supposed to get through the rest of the night like this? It was ridiculous how much she thought about all the wrong things that could happen tomorrow. She was a free woman now. She should start acting like one but she wasn't sure how free women acted.<br/><br/>Running her hands over her face, she moved and quickly turned off the television. The noise was a distraction, perhaps she would be able find peace in the silence. She lay back down on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. She was exhausted, she felt it in her bones but her mind was not allowing her peace. Closing her eyes, she tried all the tricks she knew for fooling herself into sleeping. She rolled around for a while, trying to get comfortable. She pulled the throw blanket over her closer, trying to fight the involuntary chills that rolled down her spine. After awhile she settled down, finding herself able to succumb to a sleep.<br/><br/><span style="font-style: italic">Hands clutched her neck and she let out a strangled gasp. Her hands reached up to take away the opposing force, though she was overpowered. She blearily opened her eyes, only to see the face of her stepfather staring down at her. His face was expressionless, his jaw was set and there was a look of anger burning within his deep eyes. Her body jerked and squirmed as she felt the lack of oxygen burning her lungs. She whimpered and let out desperate grunts for air. She closed her eyes as she felt herself become dizzy. He continued to press down on her esophagus, though a sick wave rolled through her body as she felt hands roaming her bare legs. She felt tears prick her tears, not wanting to relive these moments of sheer terror. She normally would have lain their lifelessly, allowing such vulgar actions to happen. But she was a free woman; she didn't have to go through this trauma anymore. She let out a cry as the fingers crawled higher.</span><br/><br/>She jolted out of her sleep, with a strangled cry. Her stomach lurched and she bolted into the small bathroom that Azrai had occupied earlier. She heaved in the porcelain object, the previous contents of her stomach emptying. She clutched the toilet as her body jerked and shook as she tried to recover. Gasping for air, she let out a soft groan. She stayed like that for a while, just trying to calm down. When she felt better, she flushed the toilet and stood in front of the sink. She stared into the reflecting glass for the longest of times, her eyes red for crying and her throat sore from vomiting. She turned on the faucet, splashing cold water on her face before rinsing out her mouth. She exited the bathroom, flicking off the light. She moved around the small apartment, her arms hugging her in a comforting manner.<br/><br/>She knew there was no way that she would be able to go back to sleep. Opening the sliding door to the balcony, she closed it behind her, leaning against the railing. She stared out at the lights of the city in deep thought. How long would these nightmares go on? She had been having them for years now; they were the reason for her lack of sleep. She should have been used to them by now, but she wasn't. Lately, the more often she slept, the worse the night terrors became. She let out a sigh, finding a seat as she stared out at the city. It was early in the morning; she could sleep the dew forming on the plant life. She continued to stare out at the scenery, feeling vulnerable. It was probably not the best idea to sit outside, but they were on the third floor, it would take a lot of effort for someone to reach her. Besides, nature made her feel a little more comfortable. Staring out at the world like this had been the only sense of peace she had for the last twenty-one years.<br/><br/>She knew that this comfort wouldn't last for much longer, a new day was approaching. A new life was always approaching. She wasn't ready to leave Azrai. He still hadn't taught her all that she wanted to know. He had been the only person that she has known throughout this process, aside from the brief encounters with Ivan and Lucian. She worried that she would lose touch of the only person that she could consider a friend. Well, almost a friend, but it was a step in the right direction. Perhaps in the end, he had caught her how to communicate with others better. She had been able to open up to him after a while. Maybe she could do that with other people. It would just take a while. That was all. She let out a sigh, her tired eyes screaming at her, but she feared sleep. She would fear it until she was out of harm's way.