Despite the toll the burning display had taken, sleep didn't sit well with Elisa. Her mind kept wandering over the images, over what the note had implied, over what she'd lost and how close they seemed to repeatedly get to her. Images of her father being hurt because of her, images of her people suffering. Her mind was constantly assaulted with such images, and it all boiled down to someone being hurt because of her.<br/><br/>Finally giving up on a fitful sleep, she rolled out of bed, momentarily forgetting what room she was in. Her heart rate rose, the blackness that had consumed her in a blanket of uncomfortable silence giving her pause, hands clutching at the unfamiliar sheets beneath her. Eyes scanning for what she thought would be her window, found nothing which had her freaking all the more. It took jumping out of bed and gripping her door's handle to remember where she was, breath coming in shallow pants before she was able to slowly calm herself down.<br/><br/><span style="font-style: italic">Air...</span>she thought as she headed out of her room.<span style="font-style: italic">I need air...</span>Stopping short of her doorway, her eyes fell on Alexander's form, a slight frown on her features for how tense he looked.<span style="font-style: italic">Suppose he's not going to look much more relaxed than that...</span>Elisa thought wryly, knowing it would end up keeping her on edge.<br/><br/>"Found anything?" came her voice, resounding through the open room before her steps resumed.<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF4000">He sighed looking up from the screen. "Nothing worth mentioning. Though, I do believe I'm up to date on all the gossip." He started drolly looking at her as she entered the room.</span><br/><br/>"And what gossip, pray tell, would that be?" she asked, curious though slightly blase about it all.<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF4000">"Well," He began pulling up the photos of a woman and a man. "These two are screwing behind the back of her husband." His tone was slightly amused as he pulled up another photo "And this man, her husband, knows but has his own share of her women on the side. And yet... they both preach about how loyal they are to each other. How very... in love... they are."</span><br/><br/>At the mention of their marriage, she shrugged, turning her attention away from the screen and the picture, moving passed it to keep moving.<span style="font-style: italic">One of the wonderful aspects of marriage,</span>came her sarcastic thought. "Anything else?"<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF4000">"Oh there's loads more. I've been reading this dribble for hours."</span><br/><br/>At that, she stopped, looking over at him with a quirked brow. "Anything about me?"<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF4000">"Not much of anything really. Most people keep away from you as a subject. But there have been some hateful statements."</span><br/><br/>"Hateful statements?" That caught her attention loud and clear. "What sort of hateful statements?"<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF4000">"The ones you would hear about any monarch. Jealous girls who claim you are hateful, petty, and high and mighty. Those have been mostly in places where they believe they are safe to discuss such matters." His eyes narrowed behind his shades. His tone becoming more serious. "Though they're being screened more thoroughly as well."</span><br/><br/>"Why screen them more thoroughly?" she asked, glancing over at him with a furrowed brow. "They're all talk. Everyone says that about every monarch, like you said."<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF4000">He shrugged looking back at her. "One can never be to careful. Petty people are the easiest to manipulate."</span><br/><br/>"I suppose..." she replied to that before shaking her head, trying to clear it, walking toward the door. It wasn't until she was directly next to it, her hand on the knob that she figured she should probably say something, but her head was swimming. She felt hot and yet cold, felt shaky. She needed out. "I need air."<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF4000">He rose quickly. "Are you alright?"</span><br/><br/>"I'm fine," she answered easily, already opening the door. "I just need air."<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF4000">He follows behind her. "If you're sure."</span><br/><br/>That he was following her had her almost irked, but then she pushed it out of her mind, knowing he needed to be with her no matter what. Her steps quickened until she was practically running down the halls until she broke through a door and hit fresh air. She collapsed against the wall, inhaling deeply, eyes closed.<br/><br/>That he was following her had her almost irked, but then she pushed it out of her mind, knowing he needed to be with her no matter what. Her steps quickened until she was practically running down the halls until she broke through a door and hit fresh air. She collapsed against the wall, inhaling deeply, eyes closed.<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF4000">He followed her out and moved away from her so she's had space to breath. "What's wrong?" he kept his voice soft and the concern that was laced in it was genuine as he watched her.</span><br/><br/>"Nothing is wrong." The answer was simple for her, one that she was used to giving countless times. "I just needed air...Just like I said..." Her head was pressed back against the cool surface behind her, finally opening her eyes again to look at him, eyes still blood-shot, though she tried to keep from looking tired, from looking worn.<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF4000">He stared at her for a long moment. "Nightmares?"</span><br/><br/>The look on her face said it all, before slowly nodding. "I just felt...helpless...and everything around me that was happening was my fault and I couldn't do anything about it..." Her gaze fell, hands clasping and unclasping as she fought to keep from crumbling with it all. "But it's done. It's over." The last bit was said with a more formal inflection, working at keeping it all in. "I'm keeping you from your work, aren't I?"<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF4000">"My work is to keep you safe. It's normal to feel helpless in a situation like this. Everyone has breaking point, and holding it all in isn't going to do anything for you either. The only way for it to be "over" is for you to let out whatever it is you're holding in. Yell, scream, cry, punch things, do whatever." </span><br/><br/>"That shouldn't be my breaking point," she replied to that cooly. "It was a little fire, that's all. Nothing terrible. I'm alive. I<span style="font-style: italic">should</span>be fine. I shouldn't be freaking out and having nightmares because of that."<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF4000">"It wasn't a <span style="font-style: italic">little</span> fire. It was fire in your room. In a place where you are supposed to be safe. Everyone has a safe zone. And when that zone is violated it messes with your mind. It's no surprise that you didn't sleep well. Most people wouldn't have handled it nearly as well as you have been trying to. But, you can't just ignore what you're feeling."</span><br/><br/>"So what am I supposed to do?" she shot back. "Because, I can only assume this is going to get worse. If I'm already breaking, what's to say I won't have a full collapse in the near future? How am I supposed to cope with this?" Pausing, she rubbed her temples. "We're taught to keep our emotions on lock...to think clearly...I don't know how to handle this."<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF4000">"You can't always keep emotions locked down. It could very well get worse but you get stronger. Shoving it all down is only temporary, eventually it'll all come out. Probably at the most inopportune time."</span><br/><br/>His words held truth; that, she couldn't deny, it didn't make it any easier to take. "I can do this...I can do this..." Voice dropping off, her head shook and she slid down the wall to sit, head resting on her knees. "I can't do this...How am I supposed to keep my people safe when I can't even keep myself safe?" Her eyes looked up at his glasses, annoyed that she couldn't actually make eye contact, but she still tried.<br/><br/>"They got to me. They were in my room. In my secret room. How am I going to survive if I can't go around a corner of this place without wondering if they'll come up and kill me?" It wasn't that she was questioning him, but that's how it felt. She felt completely helpless, no way she could combat something she couldn't even see. And feeling helpless wasn't something she was too good at dealing with.<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF4000">He nodded understanding where she was coming from. "You don't have to worry about that. As long as I'm here they're not going to get to you. Your room was the end of it. I'm going to do everything in my power to ensure that nothing happens to you."</span><br/><br/>Letting out a sigh, she nodded. He was going to try to protect her, but it was just a job to him. He'd get paid and leave and that'd be the end of it. He had nothing riding on this, no real incentive apart from the money her father offered him. But for her...for her kingdom... Slowly getting back off of the ground, secretly grateful none of her ladies were around to see her sitting on "such a dirty surface", she let out another sigh, rolling her shoulders to try and relax. "...Guess we should go back inside then? So you can...keep working..." Her eyes were glancing about in an almost paranoid manner before coming to rest on him again, not liking feeling so exposed now that she could breathe and think clearly.<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF4000">"Just calm down, okay? Like I said you making sure you're safe is my job. Take a few deep breaths and just relax." </span><br/><br/>She did just that; Breathing deeply, her hands bracing on her knees as she tried to relax, to clear her head. "I'm...I'm calm..." It was as calm as she was going to get, knowing she'd be on edge for a while, but she'd do her best to push it aside and trust him. "I'm calm." The second time was more of an affirmation to herself, but still said aloud. "I'm as calm as I'm going to be."<br/><br/><span style="color: #FF4000">"Alright you sound better. If you want we can head back inside, or stay out here. It's up to you either way."</span><br/><br/>"Lets just go inside...It's too bright out here and it feels too open." Without another word, she headed back inside, her steps far lighter on the return trip to that room than they'd been the first time around. At this moment, she was more than happy to stay in a room with no windows; It would give her time to get her nerves back under control. Opening the door to their new abode, she went straight for the chaise again, laying out on it without so much as a word, proceeding to stare at the ceiling. Elisa figured he had enough to do without her bugging him for a distraction, so counting the imperfections she saw would have to do.