No sooner had the words left the womanâ€™s lips both Maverick and Lucian had looked at her with disbelieving expressions. Maverick felt his chest tighten and he clenched his fists as he felt emotions beginning to take him over once again. Why the hell did he have to get himself involved with this? Why could Azrai just decide not to take that mission? So far God had been on their side through everything, He had aided them in this battle though so many had been lost, He had chosen Azrai to go rescue Shizu despite everything, this had all been His planning from the start. But on the other hand he was well aware that nothing ever came without some sort of price. Was that price Azraiâ€™s death? It wouldnâ€™t be surprising considering the man always wanted to play the big fucking hero like he always did whenever it came down to something like this. It really pissed him off. He didnâ€™t even want to begin to think about what might happen should they lose Azrai.<br/><br/>That man has been his best friend since he had met him in the military years ago. How could he ever forget that day? It seemed like only yesterdayâ€¦ He had already worked with Ivan a little bit, but when Azrai was introduced to the group they had formed an inseparable bond even though they were all different from one another. They had done a lot together, stuck by Azrai when Cassandra passed from this world by some sort ofâ€¦ mysterious illnessâ€¦ Hell they even stuck by the man whenever he was faced with an enemy. They had formed their little hitman organization, and then Zachariah found them and introduced them to something more when he had taken them under his wing and into his own organization; he had showed them the light of God. Not only that but they were given a purpose, a reason to live, ridding the world of evil and defending the Holy Land from those who dare defile it.<br/><br/>Lucian was only really in the picture because of Elias, and because he had his uses being a pilot, whom they met while he was hacking into some security systems and decided to recruit him on the spot pretty much. Thinking back was not something he usually did. Right now it couldnâ€™t be helped; he could not bear the thought of losing anyone, not just Azrai.<br/><br/>When Ivan had left the room, and he couldnâ€™t help but smirk when Lucian, now muttering under his breath, was practically shoved out of the way since the asshole deserved it, he couldnâ€™t help himself. He had to go, too, there was no way he was going to sit here while his best friend as possibly dying. He wanted to be there for him, knowing full well that Azrai would be there for him if it were he or Ivan that was dying instead. Despite the screams of pain echoing in his mind from him moving his body he had to get up. One of the medics tried to convince him to rest but he was already on his feet by that point. Sure, he might be a sensitive person but he wasnâ€™t a wimp when it came to handling pain and refused to submit to it even though he was more than aware he should be resting. How the fuck could he rest at a time like this? No matter how many drugs they pumped in his system he would not rest until he was reassured Azrai would pull through.<br/><br/>His legs were almost rejecting supporting him but somehow he had managed to fight past that and made his way into Azraiâ€™s room. In the back of his mind he continued to pray that God would allow him to live, that He would not kill him in order to save Shizu, save the Holy Land. Taking a moment to pause and let the pain subside when it became too unbearable here and there. When he finally entered Azraiâ€™s room his body was screaming in pain so much that it was almost to the point where he was unaware he was in pain. Then he saw just how bad his dear friend looked and couldnâ€™t help but be filled with a sense of horror that they really might be losing him. That sense of horror seemed to drown out the pain completely. He had been so frozen to his spot that he was nearly run over by Shizu when she had entered the room.  And then that was when everything got very, very tense.<br/><br/>Leaning against the wall he took a good look at his dear friend and then to Ivan who also looked like he was on the verge of a breakdown when he saw how pale Azrai was.<br/><br/>This was eating Maverick up inside and he wanted nothing more than to have his friend recover, they all did. He was on the verge of tears again when Shizu had started crying, part of him wanted to go over and hold her in his arms. Not only would that be weird but it would accomplish nothing, so he stayed put just outside the room. He was ignoring a few medics trying to get him to come back to his room and rest. When the two came out of Azraiâ€™s room he had listened to them and made no word of protest. He and Ivan were having similar thoughts: Azrai should be separated from Shizu at all costs since it would be easier to keep them in hiding. It did tear him up a little, knowing the man was most likely going to be pretty upset about this but as long as he would live thenâ€¦ maybe there was hope. Though whatever hope there was left now, he was not going to cling to it since the man really had pushed himself a bit too far during that fight.<br/><br/>What would Zachariah say if he were standing here at this very moment? What would Zachariah do in this situationâ€¦ was the man even still alive? He sure hoped so.<br/><br/>When he spoke, Maverickâ€™s voice was a bit shaky, â€œIvan, I have an idea Iâ€™ve had in the back of my mind in case something like this should--â€<br/><br/>â€œItâ€™s that badâ€¦ is it? Damnitâ€¦ see I had a feeling something was upâ€¦â€ a voice cut through the air, seemingly ignoring the emotions that were lingering. â€œI had known when I was told to pick his ass up he had gotten himself into trouble. Let me guess, the stubborn mule decided to go and play the big hero like he always does. I say it serves him right, if thatâ€™s the case,â€ Lucian had snorted.<br/><br/>Maverick rounded on the man and scowled at him, immediately finding another way to release some of his energy. Pushing past all the nurses and doctors, Ivan, he slammed the man against the wall and decked him as hard as he could. Lucian had tried to get away but was too slow and Maverickâ€™s fist had connected with him a second time and the man saw some stars before he was out cold. Almost as quickly as it had happened a few people had rushed in to separate the two soon after, dragging Maverick back to his room after sedating him. As much as he disliked Lucian perhaps he didnâ€™t blame the man, he had been kept in the dark and unwillingly dragged into thisâ€¦ However that did not give a reason to act as he had. Did the man ever need a reason to be an asshole? He wished he could have gotten a few more hit before he had been drugged and dragged back into his room. While he slept he dreamed of him repeatedly beating the shit out of the pilot. Somehow it made everything a little more bearable.<br/><br/>The medics continued to look over Azrai as Shizu gave her blood. They would know the results for sure soon enough but for now they just needed to pray that he pulled through. He was in Godâ€™s hands, and they all had faith He would make the right decision in the end, whatever that may be.  Even with the blood transfusion would Azrai truly recover? Even if he did, Shizu had mentioned there would be some changes and he might be more aggressive and everyone was on the same page thinking that they did not need him to be more aggressive. That man was capable of being very dangerous, almost terrifying whenever he got into that murderous state of mind; undoubtedly it would be amplified which could be a danger to both him and those around him. Still Shizu had been willing to save him so nobody was going to complain, they just wondered how well he was going to take her leaving.<br/><br/>He should not have allowed himself to become attached to her, should have been aware that the promise he had tried so desperately to keep was not one he could fulfill. Try as he may to deny it, the reality was there. But even then he continued to cling to itâ€¦ had he just been lying to Shizu all this time, had he been aware that he would not have been able to keep his promise? He was a man of his word and has even told her this much. Perhaps that was why he had wanted to keep that promise so badly, why he had became so attached to her even though he knew he should not have. Not only was it rare for him to become attached to someone that quickly he knew that he had fucked up as soon as he felt himself becoming more willing to protect her than he should have been. Everyone had busted his chops for it and somewhere he knew they were still pissed at himâ€¦<br/><br/>But what did it matter? It wasnâ€™t like he was there to explain himself to them, he was dying, he could feel it even as he seemed to sit in this dark void, they were just going to think what they wanted in the end and he couldnâ€™t do a damn thing about it. If he could speak would they even listen to him if he tried to give him his side of the story of why he liked Shizu? She was such a sweet girlâ€¦ he was a foolâ€¦ Being able to save someone was a nice change of pace since he was not just getting paid to  slaughter some piece of shit and deal with whatever else was there and be done with it. Would he even be able to fully explain himself them or would they just lay into him and ignore him like they always did whenever he displeased them in some way or another? No. He doubted that they would listen to him. That fact was so hard to accept and it was probably why he didnâ€™t want death to claim him despite the poison in his system dragging him further and further down into the darkness.<br/><br/>As tempting as it was to just give in so he wouldnâ€™t have to deal with their reprimands once he recovered, something started to pull him out suddenlyâ€¦ Giving up was not like him at all but even then he felt he was fighting a losing battleâ€¦<br/><br/>â€œIt seems to be working,â€ a medic said softly when he turned to Ivan once Azraiâ€™s condition seemed to improve a little. â€œI donâ€™t know how long it will be before he comes around, though, or if he will evenâ€¦â€ His words trailed off knowing that he should think of such things. For all he knew, if he messed this up and Azrai was lost, he would be the next one to get punched in the face.<br/><br/>-----------------<br/><br/>Hearing Raziel tell him that he had never loved him stung more than he had wanted to admit. If only he knew how false that was, he thought to himself managing to draw in a few breaths before hands wrapped around his neck again. That was more than enough to tell him that if they were to continue this conversation any longer it would be pointless. He had said all he needed to, there was nothing else he could do except pray to God that He would give him the strength to get through this, to wait this out, that was all he could do at this moment. As much as he wished he could just pry Raziel off of him and drive him into the ground for being such a fool he refused to turn against God. To do so meant he would be turning against the very teachings he was trying to influence in the people who looked up to himâ€¦ if he had not done so already with what little liquid he had consumed in that vial.<br/><br/>In the back of his mind he was almost kicking himself for not putting an end to Raziel so when he had the chance to end him five years ago. Sometimes compassion was one of Zachariahâ€™s downfalls though he hated to admit that openly. In his mind he had done nothing wrong and felt that he had always treated Raziel fairly when they were kids. When they founded the organization things had changed, yes, but, â€œWhy do you think people looked to me rather than accept your bio-weapon research?â€ When he managed to somehow get his fingers between Razielâ€™s and his neck he couldnâ€™t help but ask the question even if he knew it was just wasted effort. It call came down to when those bio-weapons were first introduced and no matter what he did he knew he would never be able to make his old friend understand the error of his ways. Perhaps there would have been a small chance of redemption before he met his end and was dragged down to Hell then.<br/><br/>â€œI have nothing more to say to you, my brother.â€ It was subtle but there were hints of sadness in his voice, if he had not accepted Raziel was beyond reasoning he would have let it all out. Now he was just sad that out of all the people to throw away a second chance it had to be him. He had done his best to show him compassion, but had gotten nowhere. There was a look of determination upon his face that said he was more than ready to end this once and for all. Much like Raziel he refused to let his determination go, he refused to give in, he had to do this for the Holy Land, he would remain strong, determined to win this. But what if Raziel was right and they both had to perish in order for the Holy Land to be at peace again? It had to be true, right? God had planned for this battle to happen so it was only natural they he had two people who were once good friends fight to the death, everything happened according to Godâ€™s will.<br/><br/>For a moment he thought back to the events of the day and what updates he had been given on what was going on while he was here. He knew that Azrai and Shizu were in critical condition and might not make it. A lot of lives were lost to day, but some had been saved as well, looking at the pilot. If he did not make it back and walk through the door to the medical base he knew this wold be in vain. They were counting on him return; he was not going to let them down. Especially Shizu. After all this had mostly been for her so that she would not have to fall into Razielâ€™s hands and so that he would never claim the Holy Land as his own. He wanted to believe that there was still something to be gained from this if he were to give in and sacrifice his own life to save the Holy Land.<br/><br/>How long would it be before someone like Raziel or any other enemy he has faced would crawl out from the same hole? Zachariah knew he had to be around to deal with it once that happened. As much as he wanted to resist the darkness threatening to take him over he couldnâ€™t find it within him; perhaps he was feeling this was the only way to finish this after all.<br/><br/>Placing all his faith in that acid whittling Raziel down was his best chance right now. Razielâ€™s grasp was powerful. Even though he was not struggling against him he could feel his thumbs pressing hard against his throat. It was becoming increasingly harder to breathe. There was no way he would ever be able to overpower the man, it was enough just trying to keep his strength up as he was. When he opened his eyes again he blinked a few times in an attempt to keep his gaze unwavering as he still refused to show weakness. Desperately he was trying to remain strong, he wanted to fight back unwilling to accept death. Perhaps this was how it had to be but he was not going down without a fight, by just throwing in the towel he would be seen as a coward or someone who gives in easily. As long as there was still a bit of fight left in him he refused to go down without a fight.