There were many things that crossed her mind during the flight. This place called Toronto piqued her interest and she began to wonder what it was like there. It brought her back to the days when she was locked away in her room, wondering what the world looked like. All she had had was her imagination and the small window that she looked out from. That was all she had and it felt like once again she would have to feel that way; only briefly as they were still in the plane. She listened intently as he explained a little bit about Canada. She was assuming that was the country that they were heading off to. She perked up a bit, at the mention of snow. She had enjoyed playing in the snow on the days that her stepfather had let her go outside. Maybe he had hoped that she would freeze to death, though her warm body wouldn't have allowed for such things to happen.<br/><br/>She typically didn't really care for warm weather, due to the clothing that she wore in her village. Her village had been located a little further north towards the colder cities within Japan, but even in the summer it was nearly unbearable, even when wearing a yukata. Now that she was away from the village, she knew that she wouldn't have to wear traditional clothing anymore but she really wasn't too sure about the clothing style of the New World. She recalled when Azrai had taken her shopping and she had been lost within the aisles of clothing. It had been rather embarrassing, not knowing how to dress and she was a prideful woman at times. She glanced down at the rumpled clothing that she was wearing, a frown tugging on her lips. She knew that she couldn't wear this all the time.<br/><br/>Another thought hit her, what would she do for money? Seeing how she didn't have the financial security she had while under her stepfather's care, she would have to do something. Then again, she didn't know what kind of occupations there were. She didn't know the language of the country that they were going to, seeing how she was being taken away from anything and everything related to Japan. How long would it take for her to pick up on the language? How long would it take her to get used to the new country? She had just been exploring and learning about Israel when everything hit the ceilings and she had to depart immediately. There were so many questions that she had but she knew that Lucian wouldn't have the answers. How long would she have to rely on them? They had done so much for her already and yet she knew that she would still need their help.<br/><br/>The worry that she had should slightly as she shifted her seat. Her hands pulled her hair over her shoulder, wringing the long locks in her hands. She glanced down at it and thought for a while. Maybe she would cut her hair, though that went against a lot of the values that she had been taught. She frowned briefly not really liking the negativity she was having. This whole mission was about taking her away from that dreadful place and all the things that she had been taught. It was time to start a new life and a new way of thinking. Perhaps cutting her hair would be a step in the right direction. That was something that she would think about while they continued to make their way to Canada. She needed to reinvent herself then again she really didn't know who she was at this point. It was probably better to say that she needed to create herself now. She briefly wondered if she would be able to do such a thing but she had to have some kind of confidence in herself, she was on her own now.<br/><br/>Dare she voice that she was terrified to be on her own? She didn't want to seem like she was needy but Lucian was right to think that she had never lived on her own. If she had lived on her own then this mission would have never happened. She would have been free to do as she pleased a long time ago. She knew that it wasn't going to be easy fitting into the New World but then again she didn't think she would have to face it on her own. Azrai had reassured her that he would help her and now that that plan had been changed, she was alone, again. She let out a slow breathe, hoping not to cause the pilot any curiosity on her current change of mood. She was still rather depressed about leaving and she was sure that he knew it. She was thankful that he didn't say anything about the bond that she and Azrai had created. Surely that would cause her emotions to spill.<br/><br/>She knew that it had been wrong to get attached, she had even told herself to keep things professional between them but alas that plan had also fallen through. She wasn't sure what hurt the most, breaking their promise or leaving without saying goodbye. It made her feel like she was unable to be around people. She had to go through this whole process on her own. She knew that this had been her decision, but she never expected to feel so lonely. Azrai had been the only person that she could trust right from the beginning. She thought back to the night when he had rescued her and she smiled slightly. She had been terrified and he had been so calm. She had been put on the spot to trust him and it didn't take her long to feel comfortable around him. She had exposed her darkest secrets to him and he hadn't condemned her. He simply accepted her. For the first time in her life, she had someone who didn't fear her.<br/><br/>Well now that could have all changed. She was sure Azrai had seen her true form, he had seen the monster that she could become, and that she was. That image must be all he saw when he thought of her now. It pained her to think that way but she couldn't live in a naive little bubble. She had wanted to avoid changing completely in general, but she wanted to protect everyone who was risking their life for her. She wanted to protect Azrai. In the end, trying to protect him probably made him have different views about her. Perhaps it was best that she had departed before she could find out how he felt about her. She thought of what would happen if he couldn't stand the sight of her anymore, a pain filled her chest. And yet, she wanted to know if he hated her like the villagers. She wanted to know so many things from him but she knew that she would live her life in wonder and regret.<br/><br/>She noted that Lucian read something off of that device and she knew that he must be talking to someone. How nice. If only she could talk to Azrai, let him know that she was fine and vice versa. But that wasn't going to happen, much to her displeasure. She wondered if she would be able to connect with someone once she became used to the New World. Or had she already closed the door to making friends by leaving Azrai in such a cruel manner? She honestly wasn't sure if she would be able to open up to anyone else. Azrai had made her feel comfortable enough to feel at ease around him, and even now she was hiding her past from Lucian, who seemed like a sweet man. Did this mean that she was going to lead a life of loneliness? She wasn't sure if she was content with being alone. Sure, she could probably be acquaintances with Lucian and Elias, but could she ever have anything deeper? Her past would restrict her from a lot of things, she already knew that much, but would there ever be a day when she could be truly happy.<br/><br/>What were the consequences for her freedom?<br/><br/>"I do enjoy snow," Shizu replied after a while, deciding it was far too dangerous to let her thoughts consume her. She wondered what kind of place she was going to have, that thought was mildly exciting. "I am sure that I will enjoy whatever Elias has set up for me...I am truly grateful." She smiled a bit fiddling with her hair a bit more. "This...Toronto place sounds like a place that I would enjoy, so I thank you for taking me there." Even though Lucian had no choice but to take her she still felt it necessary to show her appreciation. She glanced back out the window once more, staring at the sky. "How much long do you think we have?"<br/><br/>It wasn't like she was becoming impatient; it was just more that she wanted to be by herself for once. She had been by herself her entire life and she found comfort within her own company. Perhaps it was because she still wasn't used to the idea of being around people that she liked to be alone. She was sure that once she got used to everything, she wouldn't like being alone anymore. She just really needed time to figure out where to go from here. How does one start a new life?<br/><br/>----------<br/><br/>Ivan walked through the new base, looking at all the work that would need to be done. There really was no need to rush into anything so soon, they would have to lie low for a while everyone was recovering. There was no need for them to be discovered by anyone too soon. What they needed to do was simply focus on recovering for now. They had lost a lot of lives, had it not been for Shizu they would have lost more. She probably couldn't understand how grateful they were for her, even though it may seem as if they were just using her inhuman abilities. Zachariah had made it clear that she was to fight for her freedom as well, and she had. Everyone in this base should be just as grateful as he was for Shizu being there on the battlefield. But of course, the rumors that had quietly spread while she was here told him that they, in fact, weren't.<br/><br/>He was glad to see that those crude remarks had died down or else he would start taking people to the side and have a little chat with them. Good old fashion intimidation went a long way and certainly it would be rather helpful after all they had been through. Though being the villain again was something that he wanted to avoid. Honestly, Ivan felt like he was close to turning in the towel but that was how he felt about every stressful mission's end. He truly enjoyed what he did for the organization and what it stood for. He let out a sigh, feeling as if he was getting too old for all the shenanigans that he went through on a daily basis but this was the life he wanted. It was never boring. He stopped by a few rooms to talk with a few people about patching up the ceiling so the wiring wouldn't be a bother. Sure, they still had plenty of time to repair this base, but he didn't want any avoidable accidents to happen while they recovered.<br/><br/>After he finished chatting with a few members, he was pointed into the direction that Maverick and Zachariah were. He decided that he had had enough time to mentally prepare himself for speaking with everyone. As much as he wanted to chew Azrai out, he knew that now was probably not the time to do so. He was sure the man was already sulking off in a little corner by himself or something like that. He knew how Azrai dealt with things, so he figured he would wait a while before he confronted him. It would be easier on the both of them if they didn't start off with an argument. As much as he cared about the guy, he knew how to push all of his buttons, in the wrong manner so to speak. There had been plenty of times when Maverick or someone else had to intervene to stop them from seriously injuring one another. Somehow, their relationship was still solid after all the fights.<br/><br/>It felt as if now the circumstances were a different. This was probably the largest obstacle that they would have to cross. He wasn't sure if anyone else felt the same feeling of betrayal but Ivan was sure that they would make it through this. He hoped that things wouldn't change all because of their collective decision. Ivan wasn't really sure what was exactly on Azrai's mind at this point. Was he trying to figure out why they had taken Shizu away? That was a definite thought that should be on his mind but anything else was up on the air. Ivan had thought long and hard on his drive back to the base. What was the exact reason why he wanted Shizu and Azrai to be separated? He knew that question would come up or it would be subtly thrown out towards them. Ivan had come up with a few solid answers, though none of them seemed to satisfy him.<br/><br/>Not only had he wanted to protect everyone, he also he didn't want a repeat of what happened to Cassandra. Ivan didn't think that there was any romance between the two, but women were tricky to deal with. It was either you felt something or you didn't. Hell, he was sure everyone felt something about Shizu at this point, she was certainly different from all the other rescue missions they had been given. Not only because she was not human but there was something else to her that just made a man want to protect her. Maybe it was her past or the promising future she had that made him want to make sure she was safe and lived a peaceful life. Ivan could still remember that dreadful time when Cassandra had passed away. He remembered the state that Azrai had been in and how long it had taken Ivan and the others to get him out of that rut. That was a person that Ivan did not want to see again, he couldn't have Azrai fall into that darkness again. Maybe...maybe that was why he was so hell-bent on having them separated because he could see that bond, that attachment forming. He had been brought back to those darker times and thought of all the possibilities. What would have happened if Shizu died in front of Azrai? What would have happened if she hadn't survived the poisoning? Ivan shouldn't have thought of things like that, but he had. Hell, even before the battle, Ivan wondered what would happen between them.<br/><br/>It had thrown him for a loop that Azrai had gotten attached to Shizu so quickly and she seemingly returned that same attachment. It terrified Ivan as to what Azrai might do in order to protect and save her. Look at where he was now, in a hospital bed recovering from almost dying. This was why Ivan had been against the mission. He knew that once Azrai became attached, there would be no way in hell he would abandon her. Then again, Ivan had expected Azrai to get attached at all. He only thought that he would go through this mission like any other one given and be done. It had taken him forever to get Azrai to consider him as a close friend, so to see this happen so fast was truly surprising. Ivan wanted them to be friends, he really did but right now it seemed like that would be impossible. They were two very different people, who had experienced too many things in their lives. It didn't help that they both seemed like magnets for trouble. It would simply be more difficult for them to be around one another than to be apart. This had been the best option, their separation, and Shizu had picked up on that as well. He would have to explain that this was part of Shizu's condition. However, they had all agreed to it when they had the chance to decline her offer.<br/><br/>At least Ivan knew why he had done what he had. He could only hope that everyone else could understand his reasoning. He was sure that many would but Azrai would be a hard case to crack, unless he decided not to be stubborn. Maybe, one day Shizu and Azrai would be able to meet again. Maybe they could still be friends or maybe it was too late now. Had Ivan killed a possibly good thing that was just starting to form? Was his worry for their safety the reason for the tension in the air and the uncomfortable tightness in his chest? There was just too much that had been on his mind all this time. He wondered how well he would be able to explain this all to Azrai. Maybe he would just leave out his own personal thoughts and feelings on the mission and just explain to him as to why Shizu was now gone. That seemed like the best plan of action for now; there was no need to bring up the past.<br/><br/>His negative thoughts left him as he met up with Maverick and Zachariah, the latter looking well rested. He was glad that their leader had been able to relax for a while, surely he had needed it. He could tell that Maverick was feeling a bit uneasy about the impending conversation that they were supposed to have with Azrai. Ivan was glad that he wasn't the only one. Ivan nodded his head at the comment that was to deter away from Azrai. "Yeah, they should be there within in a few hours. I have requested immediate contact upon landing and I will relay the message to you when I get word." He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a bit uncomfortable but he knew that this was better than approaching Azrai first. He was slightly surprised at how energetic Zachariah was, oh the wonders that sleep could do on a person. Ivan chuckled a bit as Zachariah explained himself briefly; indeed that nap had done wonders on their leader. He listened and nodded along as Maverick gave him a run down on all that had taken place while he was away.<br/><br/>Rubbing his chin he nodded his head once more. "It sounds like things are slowly coming together. I agree that there is no need to rush. I made a few calls to some friends who are willing to come out in a few weeks to help fortify the base and repair a few things. Also, I was thinking of bringing Elias out here in a few months to rewire things and set up a few more things, electronics wise. He has a lot on his plate right now, with Lucian and Shizu, so I figured I could wait a while on that." He yawned a bit at the mention of rest though he wasn't sure if he would be able to rest. "As much as I would like to rest, I'm not sure if I would be able to do so." He had still not seen Azrai fully awake and that was something that bothered him slightly. "Maybe I'll just see Azrai briefly," he stated softly. "I'm not necessarily too excited to rush into our discussion with him, so I probably won't mention anything to him about it." It was clear that he still was worried about Azrai and what sort of changes may have happened to him.<br/><br/>He glanced at the two men before him. "While I was out, I stopped by a convenience store and bought a few bottles to help us relax for now. However, I wasn't sure if now was a good time to bring them in, but I just figured...." Ivan shrugged his shoulders slightly. He knew that he could definitely use a drink to calm down his body and maybe even catch a few moments of shut eye. The fact that he still needed to face Azrai bothered him and he wondered what he thought of them at this point. Was he angry or was he trying to put everything together? The main reason why he didn't bring in the alcohol was because if he gave some to Azrai that would be the only thing that he would focus on. That wasn't something that he wanted to deal with, especially if his aggression had truly changed.<br/><br/>"Sorry for the interruption," a member stated while they conversed. Ivan turned to look at her and she seemed a bit nervous. He wondered how intimidating they all looked in her eyes. "Azrai has somehow managed to leave his room...."<br/><br/>Ivan let out a low and long sigh, knowing that his friend was probably tired of being in that room. Rubbing his face he nodded his head and dismissed the woman. Was it better to leave him be or go look for him? Ivan looked back at the other two, as if asking them what their next course of action would be. "Knowing Azrai, he probably wants a drink or five now." They all knew about his craving and although Ivan certainly didn't approve of how much he drank it certainly did help his mood. Still, Ivan debated if it was a good idea to give him some. "I suppose I should be the one to deal with him for now, we should hold off on the conversation until after we have all rested." Ivan knew that it wouldn't be hard to find his friend, he knew him better than most people or that was what he liked to believe. "I'll come back once I hear from Lucian or Elias," Ivan stated before he decided he shouldn't waste anymore time.<br/><br/>He nodded his head towards the two, before moving at a slightly faster pace. He had to get a few things done before dealing with Azrai. He moved through the crowded hallways, going back out to the car that he had been driving. After a few moments of jogging a bit, he returned inside with a few bags. He placed them on the desk on the main area, telling people to not get too carried away with the drinks, seeing how they still had to be prepared for anything. Grabbing a bottle and a pair of glasses, he caught up with the woman who had informed them of the missing male. She told him which direction he had last been seen heading in. It was a pain in the ass to try and find the male, seeing how there were plenty of rooms he could be hiding in. Ivan spent a good ten minutes, popping his head in and out of rooms coming up with nothing. It was beginning to annoy him but leave it to Azrai to find a new way to piss him off.<br/><br/>Knocking on the door to the old storage room, he popped his head in only to see the man of the hour sitting on a mattress. He let out a slight snort at how stupid he looked sitting in the dark room, but it somehow suited Azrai. He opened the door, leaning against the frame and staring at his friend for a while. "Nice place you have here," he said in a light tone, trying not to sound like he was going to bring up anything important because he wasn't going to. Lifting up the bottle in his hand, he looked at it. "It's not the best brand, but I tried my best with all the resources given." He walked into the room, plopping down a few spaces away from Azrai. He opened the bottle and pouring it in the glasses before offering one to Azrai. "Good to see that you're moving around," Ivan murmured trying not to sound like he had been worrying too much.<br/><br/>---------<br/><br/>Okay, so maybe he had done things a bit too fast because now he was practically bouncing off the walls in his apartment. There was only so much that he could do until they arrived here. It honestly felt like he was waiting for a new computer to come into the mail, the anxiety was killing him. After he had arrived back at his place, he had cleaned it from top to bottom, reorganized his wiring, made his bed, and taken a shower. Now he was just trying to get a few more contacts involved to help tutor Shizu. That of course had all resulted in wasting about two hours of his life and there was still a while before they arrived. Ivan had told him where they would be coming in at and he would be waiting there for them. As much as he was excited about having Shizu in Toronto, he was more excited to see Lucian. That man was really all he had, aside from a few people he had met throughout his life.<br/><br/>Lucian was the one person that had been there since the beginning and he cherished him more than he cared to admit. It still surprised him that he had been able to have a friendship that lasted this long, especially after all the fights they had been through. Usually people grew tired of his somewhat reclusive lifestyle because he was constantly on some kind of electronic device, hacking into miscellaneous things. Lucian was the only one who had been able to get him out of his bubble but he only figured it was because of their childhood. He knew that he was probably going to hear a few choice words from Lucian once he arrived back but he could handle it, just as long as he made it back in one piece.<br/><br/>Heaven forbid Lucian die while flying home, Elias would be devastated and royally pissed off too. He knew that those scenarios wouldn't happen but still he tended to have morbid thoughts like that. He tapped his feet on the floor as he lay partially on his bed, trying to figure out what to do. It was absolutely maddening, the wait. He felt like he was going to implode from all the anxiety building up inside of him. Letting out a groan, he rolled around on his bed, wishing there was a way to make time go by faster. He had been so anxious that he had even hacked into the airway, checking on where Lucian and Shizu were at. He just wanted all of this to be normal again. He wanted to go out and have a few drinks with his friend and call it a day. Things would slowly go back to normal then.<br/><br/>Hopping off his bed, he decided that he would drive out and just wait for them at their landing location. He was tired of feeling like he wasn't doing anything, even though he knew that he wasn't really going to be accomplishing anything by driving out there so early. Then again, Elias couldn't help the way he was feeling. Grabbing a jacket and a few extra ones for them, he hurried out of his apartment and drive off to his destination. Maybe the drive would help time go by faster too.