By the time Tellus had finished, Kael's hand wasn't on her anymore, or his head. She'd made that a hair harder herself, but now he was flat on his back, far arm crossed over his eyes. It was a lot to take in. A lot of problems. A lot of headache, a lot of complication on top of all of everything as if they didn't already have more than any two people's fair share worth to take care of. He wasn't sure if the sound he made was a sigh, or a growl of frustration, but the first words out of his mouth were<br/><br/>"I'll never understand religion."<br/><br/>For all he knew, there might have been a big man in the sky- he hadn't written it out- but with all the crazies jumped up on ego proclaiming themselves gods in this world, and the vast contradictions, complications and questions, he'd long since written off the value of worrying about it too much or actually taking almost any of it seriously on any occasion. Why would sex or masturbation be an issue for a religion? Like, he remembered that some of them didn't like that, but his parents had been fairly superficially religious, and not exceptionally spiritual. But how was it even a big deal? Shouldn't they have been worrying about killing, or theft, or anarchy, and all the other shit that he'd almost come to take as daily problems, not rare ones, since he'd been forced out of Carter? Didn't make sense to him how a bunch of religious folks could sell guns either. Did their fancy books and rules have a clause about gunning down metas that thought grew too big for their own britches?<br/><br/>At least all the talk was keeping his mind off the sounds from the restroom. He owed her a hug when she got back- a gentle one, probably. She wasn't just sick, she apparently had a hair trigger. Despite her assurance, he almost took her evaluation of what was going on as accusing, but at this point it was probably just him agonizing over every little thing he couldn't fix.<br/><br/>"I don't think she remembers Danni, or the other guy," he hadn't even remembered Charles' name until Tellus had said it. He knew it was one of those big things he should remember, he'd just lost it. But he made a small mental note to drill that in a little bit later so he wouldn't misplace it again. "Haven't had the guts to even think about forcing it on her yet. She needs to remember but... damn it, if there's still a way to get Danni back, I wouldn't mind leaving her like this just until then."<br/><br/>"Try to get a little closer and she almost shoves me off. You know, I spent a good fifteen minutes, must have been, just convincing her... didn't seem like very much, that I wanted to be with her. Had to dig into a lot of my old problems I don't like to talk about that got in it all, just to get her t' figure that if I said I wanted to be with her, maybe I sorta did a little," he laughed, not with too much mirth. "I've been quite happy keeping my problems just my own and making sure other people wouldn't get themselves dragged into my fights. But... I thought she'd forgotten me. That I'd lost her, even if it only lasted a night, I... it opened my eyes. Dunno what it is I want, 'cept her. But not like I can ask her to marry me. Heh. I can't see it. Even if I could, I'd never even pass a loan- only kind of ring I could afford I'd have to twist from scrap metal myself."<br/><br/>"But I'll stick with her long as she'll have me. Tyke's another matter- I'll need to be there for 'im whatever's the case, but, fuck, I'm adopted. I don' need to be with her to try an' be sumkinda father, two are unrelated. But good luck convincing her."<br/><br/>If only he'd... what, not thought his lifespan was counted in months when he met her and not wanted her to throw all her chips in on a dying horse? Damn him for caring too much, and not enough. Not doing enough.<br/><br/>"I must be insane, but I'm... vaguely excited about the little bugger. Sooner send it off to a good home for real, or cut things short than let it rip her apart. But... I can't see her doing either."<br/><br/>It really was a little bit like one of those greek dramas the "gods" seemed to think it was, they were both getting fucked seven ways from Sunday, half of it unintentional of their own doing, and the rest might as well have been punishments of the gods. But if only he could just take about about, hack up a couple monster, and wrestle a god to fix it. That was about what he did to earn his only sizable paychecks anyway.