<span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">Morgen found himself a man who suffered from an utter duality of emotion. On the one hand, he'd grown in temperament and found his calling, his ambition. Not that he hadn't hoped for greatness in grad school, but he now understood the difference between starry-eyed dreams of possibilities versus the euphoria of being on a trajectory of professional might. After (what felt like) years of being haunted by the specter of misery and betrayal, he'd found his true, adult self -- one that would define him and point toward that vast future the GSD had relentlessly implied was his for the taking. <br/>
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But, on the other hand, the road his profession laid before him was a lonely one, indeed only one unbound by the obligations of love and family could pursue the mad adventure that awaited him: trips to Switzerland to collaborate with Peter Zumthor, or Genoa to consult with Renzo Piano would be undermined by guilt in wondering if diapers needed to be changed. And yet, Morgen remained unconvinced if that life was worth pursuing if done alone. He loved his family, but could not help feeling alone when in the company of others. The isolation could have been chalked up as imaginary, self-imposed -- in the end, Morgen yearned to find someone who <i>understood </i>him ... accepted him. <br/>
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Morgen knew that he wasn't perfect, but always sought someone who was perfect for him. He'd truly thought that Jourdan was that person, until she cheated on him. Jourdan made her choice when she married Freya, and that choice was not him. Morgen accepted her decision, telling himself that life did not always follow one's plans -- those artificial lies we tell ourselves about how we hope our lives will develop when fate rolls the dice. Yet, he accepted her decision but he found himself <b>questioning </b>it as he spied Freya checking out the waitress's ass. The sight made his blood boil -- to crave another when you had an angel sitting right next to you ....<br/>
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It also did not help that the sound system played Pearl Jam's 'Black' and Morgen was forced to hear the poignant, gut-wrenching, and apropos ending: </span><br/><br/><span style="font-family: 'arial'"><span style="font-size: 12px">♪ I know someday you'll have a beautiful life ♪<br/>
♪ I know you'll be a star ♪<br/>
♪ In somebody else's sky ♪<br/>
♪ But why ♪<br/>
♪ Why ♪<br/>
♪ Why can't it be ♪<br/>
♪ Oh can't it be mine? ♪</span></span><br/><br/><span style="font-family: 'times new roman'">No, the song didn't help his efforts to remain detached; all Morgen could think about was Jourdan deserving better. Perhaps what Jourdan needed -- as he felt there was no escaping their company that evening -- was to learn what she missed out on, what she had thrown away for the folly of dalliance. Freya's ordering of her beloved Lambfell Moar (double shots, no less) felt like a wistful tug at his memory of how good the days of old were before the fall -- before Lancelot stole his Guinevere.<br/>
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Morgen made a point of shooting a bewildered look at Freya when her eyes watched the departing waitress, but then shifted his gaze to Jourdan with an eagerness that expressed more warmth than when they were younger. "I'm actually in town for quite a while, in fact. Got myself a teaching position at my <i>alma mater </i>for this semester, possibly the next." Morgen returned his attention to Freya when she asked him about recent accomplishments. "Mostly overseas work: India and Qatar. I <i>did </i>work on the renovation of the Chrysler Building, but it was mostly an interior renovation and not particularly sexy."<br/>
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At the mention of the word 'sexy', Morgen's gaze lazily swept over to Jourdan -- a hint of that same lust filled his gaze when their eyes met, one that she alone would recognize. "You both look great," he said in honesty. The conversation paused and his look lingered, wistful and filled with want, but not without Morgen's knee coming to rest against Jourdan's under the table. Morgen paid it no mind, pretending that he rested his knee upon one of the table legs. He broke his gaze into his ex-girlfriend's eyes before he became lost in Jourdan's twin, chocolate suns, regarding Freya and wondering if Jourdan's heart felt as awoken as his own. <br/>
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"A shame I could not make your wedding. I assume it want off without a hitch?" he asked Freya directly, wearing an easy smile. </span>