<b>Pegawen grunted at Timberlane's comment but turned and followed Lotharn as he led her back towards the stream. She glanced over at the fire, remembering again his words about Thorgan. The man appeared miserable. She stumbled, then caught up with Lotharn. “An early one? Like perhaps the first or last watch? Either way, I would have time to meditate.” She motioned for him to turn, into the direction she'd left Allassiel. “Besides, you did most of the fighting and should think of resting as well.” <br/>
<br/>
They entered the clearing, and Pegawen sighed at the sound of her cousin crying. The last time she'd heard it had been – Pegawen pursed her lips and thought back. “I've not heard her cry at all since the first few months after she discovered what happened to Hadron. I thought perhaps ...” She stood on her toes and kissed his cheek. “I will see what I can do for her if you'll wait here for us.”</b><br/><br/><b>She left him, crossing the distance to stand behind Allassiel. For a long moment, she didn't speak, merely standing behind her and gazing out over the waters. “I'm sorry,” she whispered, “I shouldn't have spoken to you that way earlier.”</b><br/><br/><b>Allassiel lifted her head up and rubbed at her face with the palms of her hand. How long had it been since she'd felt this pain? Composing her thoughts, she felt Pegawen crouch behind her and rub her neck. Losing Hadron had been bad enough, finding out he was lost forever had torn away the illusion that he'd return one day. Had she tried hard enough to find him? What would her daughters do without him? What would she tell them? How would she go on without him? In the end, it had been her daughters and cousin that kept her from going to the glade and dying. <br/>
<br/>
That and her duty as a swordmaiden kept her alive. Family and duty. It was enough for her to have a purpose. At least it had been, until a few days ago. <br/>
</b><br/>“<b>You only spoke your mind,” she replied and rubbed at the wet armour. <br/>
</b><br/>“<b>Come back to the camp and I'll loan you my other robes until these dry.” Pegawen reached down to offer her hand. “Then we can talk.”</b><br/><br/>“<b>I'll be fine,” Allassiel responded, though she let Pegawen help her up. <br/>
</b><br/>“<b>That's what you've been telling me for 80 years now, and I almost believed you.” Pegawen stopped in front of her cousin, brushing the hair back from her face. “You used to cry for Hadron like that, until I thought I'd lose you as well. But, it isn't Hadron you were crying for this time.” <br/>
<br/>
Hadn't she been crying for Hadron? Was it the loss of everything he'd been? Once more she tried to remember what he'd looked like before he'd been taken from her. Another face came to mind instead and with it the fear she'd felt as he'd charged the troll. “It doesn't matter why,” she insisted, pushing Pegawen's hands away. <br/>
<br/>
Pegawen dropped her hands down, glancing back at Lotharn who was busy scanning the area for any dangers. “I think it matters a lot. He scares you.”</b><br/><br/><b>Allassiel snorted at this. “He scares me? I've faced armies in Mirkwood, tracked down marauders in Rohan. Watched the greatest evil in our world rise and be defeated. And you're telling me one man scares me?” <br/>
</b><br/>“<b>And what would happen if he had died.”</b><br/><br/>“<b>Don't say that.” Allassiel's voice lowered. “It didn't happen.”</b><br/><br/>“<b>Ha.”</b><br/><br/><b>Allassiel's hand curled into fists as she threw Pegawen a darkened stare behind her back. But her cousin's words had hit the mark, so she bit her tongue and followed her back to the campsite.</b><br/><br/><b>Upon their return, Pegawen darted away to the horses, leaving Allassiel alone. After watching her start to dig through her bag, Allassiel's gaze traveled over the clearing to stop on the figure standing near the fire. She didn't have a clue what to do about Thorgan - or for him – or about her own feelings. <br/>
<br/>
While she was still trying to figure him out, Pegawen returned, her everyday robes in hand. “Here, put these on. No arguing,” she stated as Allassiel opened her mouth to protest. “You smell like a wet horse.”</b><br/><br/><b>Grumbling, she accepted the clothes and strode to a quiet spot to change, returning shortly with the leather armour. She really should dry them, she thought and headed towards the fire to lay them out. </b>