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<div style="text-align: right">aven miller<br/>
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<span style="font-family: 'Book Antiqua'">"Not my anything," Aven immediately soothed. False and damaging words, but what was Aven supposed to do. She kept her worried eyes on his, taking in every bit of emotion on his face. She watched the tired content expression on his face shift to something perplexed before that morphed into blatant pain and surprise. <br/>
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'Why would you hide this?'<br/>
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<i>Because I'm not as good as you, Seb. Because I still feel for him when I shouldn't. Because I need him in a different way and I wanna know what way that is.</i><br/>
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"I don't know," it was a pathetic answer, but it was all Aven could muster without outright lying to him. As if she weren't lying to him now. Aven nibbled at her bottom lip nervously while she spoke, working not to sweep her golden gaze away from his. Aven noted the reserved expression on his features - wary and unabashedly hurt by her decision to not fess up earlier. There'd been about a hundred different times between them that Aven could have confessed, but it was only now, with the feel of Rafael's skin on hers did she decide to tell him. <br/>
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"I...I think I was processing the whole thing." Which was true. It wasn't the whole truth, but it wasn't a lie either - the only moment of honestly that teetered from her lips since they started speaking. Aven knew she was doing this whole thing wrong. Whenever Sebastian was stressed or worried, Aven would wrap her arms around the middle of his chest, playfully tip her head up to the stubble on his chin, and soothe him. When they'd fight, which was really hardly ever, her palms would find a place on the contours of his stubbled cheek, tender whispers pressing out of her lips like a song to soothe whatever ache it is that presided him. <br/>
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Aven couldn't do any of that now. Talking to him like this felt wrong, but <i>touching</i> him? Touching him felt like a whole different kind of betrayal and the worst part was that Aven didn't know if it was towards Rafael or Sebastian. She shouldn't feel an ounce of guilt for wanting to smooth things over with Sebastian. It's not like Aven was naive to the fact that Rafael would go back to his apartment, touch Danielle, and love her there before coming back to Aven in the restaurant - whisper sweet words to her that made her feel like she was the only one. It was just something that Aven preferred not to think about - and here she was, doing the same thing - ruining something that was as close to perfect as possible. <br/>
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"I still want you to come today, Seb. I want you to see where I work, how things are different. There's no Rafael and I. I'm with you, I feel <i>for</i> you and he's married with a kid. It's not like before," Aven insisted. Sliding her hand over his wrist, Aven intertwined their fingers together, half-fearful that Sebastian would pull back and then half-panicked that he would read her softness as deception and this whole charade would unravel in a moment's notice. <br/>
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