Stella stared at the text in the darkness of her apartment. She was so confused. And she was frustrated. She wasn't really sure why, after all she had had a great performance, a lovely evening<i>and</i>she even really liked Chloe!? She typed a quick reply,<br/><br/>you too, Anton<br/><br/>S.<br/><br/>Then she put the phone down, screen towards the table. She didn't want to be distracted by the screen, sensing thoughts building in her mind and trying to percolate and manifest, hopefully, in the guise of something she could use to calm her confusion, or at least understand her feelings. She got up and strolled through the dark apartment towards the window seat where Tesla still sat, tail tip swishing as he looked at her through amber eyes. Stella drew her knitted cardigan around her and sat down next to him. The make up had been washed off, lotion applied, her hair was in a loose, messy bun and she was wearing indigo dyed long legged, pajama bottoms and a light blue cotton tank top, basically ready for bed. It was late and she felt exhausted, but the whole thing with Chloe staying at Anton's had thrown her for a loop. She sat there on the cushions listening to Tesla's purrs  and looked out at the street lights glowing in the dark. Were they getting together? Anton and Chloe? It hadn't felt like that, hadn't felt like Anton and Magdalene. She had felt more like a brotherly vibe from Anton towards Chloe, and yet, Chloe had come between them. But it wasn't fair of her to see it that way. If Anton had wanted to hang out with her this evening, this night, he could have. He chose not to.<br/><br/>He chose not to.<br/><br/>And that was the crux of it, wasn't it.<br/><br/>It's not you, it's me.<br/><br/>Isn't that what people said?<br/><br/>Maybe it just....<br/><br/>may be it...<br/><br/>maybe it just wasn't meant to be.<br/><br/>maybe they weren't meant to be.<br/><br/>She was sure that Chloe hadn't failed to see the absence of the wedding ring. That meant something, she was sure of it, but she wasn't sure it was her it was meant for.<br/><br/>She was jealous that Chloe was there right now. Even if they weren't doing anything, she never got that feeling... but then.... rebound sex was a thing, wasn't it? Friends with benefits?  Chloe was gorgeous compared to her, and Anton....well, Anton was gorgeous too. More gorgeous than any man she'd ever known. And they knew each other. She was jealous that Chloe was with him, with Anton. She wanted to be with him, wanted to be with Anton, even if it was just to sit in the dark without speaking, just sit side by side, and knowing he was there. But it was Chloe who was there.<br/><br/>Maybe it was time to end this charade, as pleasant as it was. He had given her a peck on the cheek, how twee, but really, did it even mean anything? She was beginning to doubt it. Friends bussed each other on the cheek all the time, so it really didn't have to mean anything. The only meaning was one she was willing to read into it, and she didn't think she wanted to read anything into it anymore. What was the point?<br/><br/>Chloe was there in his apartment.<br/><br/>He hadn't even walked her up to her apartment.<br/><br/>Chloe came first.<br/><br/>She didn't even come second. Not really.<br/><br/>There it was, doubt. She didn't think he was playing her, but she didn't think he saw himself ready for a relationship which she was ready for. He was kind, sweet, attentive and funny. She loved how smart he was, clearly not just a set of delectable pecs and deltoids she wanted to run her fingers over followed by her lips. Stella smiled to herself. She knew deltoids were a thing, she just didn't know where they were, but if they were on Anton, she wanted them. He was fun, and easy going,<br/><br/>....and just not that into her.<br/><br/>There it was again. Wasn't it?<br/><br/>Stella rested her head on her knees and closed her eyes. Then she opened them and looked into the dimness of her apartment and the shadows within. The previous night at the bar a<i>secret admirer</i>had sent her some flowers. Scratch that, it was more than<i>some</i>flowers, it was a stunning, and clearly very expensive bouquet which now took center stage on her dining table which it dwarfed. Who was this man? There were a number of regulars who came at least once a week.  There was middle aged, pudgy Dave, the corporate lawyer, who had recently gotten divorced for the third time. Vikram, the thin IT guy had professed his undying love but confessed at the same time that his parents had already set up a nice Indian bride for him. There was one guy who always sat in the back corner, in the shadow, moving the candle to the other end of the table so his face wasn't visible, she'd wondered who he was. He had never talked to her, but was there at least once a week. By the way he moved he was young and well built. Could that be him?<br/><br/>The perfume of the flowers wafted at her and she smiled. Someone had given her flowers. Well, today several someones had given her flowers as well, she had the stage attendant take them to her mother who lived in a retirement home, to cheer up the residents there. She kept the box of expensive chocolates though in her locker. No one knew who they were from, but they looked very fancy in the matte black box with the shiny black ribbon shot through with gold thread. Maybe she'd find a card inside it tomorrow afternoon on her way to the bar.<br/><br/>Stella yawned, and padded silently to her bedroom after picking up her phone without looking at it again. She didn't want to see anything, talk to anyone, she needed some sleep.