As the kiss deepened Carter tilted his head slightly to the side and closed his eyes. He'd been wanting this connection for years and now he finally had an opening. The low grumble that sounded from Asa made his arousal grow all the more. But he could feel Asa drawing back again and Carter could feel his whole body deflating when he heard Asa's words.<br/><br/>'We need to stop'<br/><br/>Why?! The emotions he was feeling right now were overwhelming. Rage, disappointment, sadness and confusion, none of them were a good mix. "Please don't..." he begged as Asa nipped his lower lip which won a shaky breath from him. "I know you want this as much as I do. I know. Please don't leave again..." he said loosening his hold and placing his palm gently against Asa's cheek. He let their foreheads rest together, but he could feel his eyes welling up again. Crushed. There wasn't another word for it. Carter felt completely shattered.<br/><br/>When Asa drew back again, Carter couldn't move or look at him. This was worse than seeing the poor boy chained to the ceiling. He couldn't bare to be rejected from Asa. He was all he had. He took the towel and stayed in the same position until Asa had left the bathroom. Anger filled him and he slowly wrapped the blanket around his waist and climbed from the tub. His whole body was shaking from his feeling. He couldn't look at Asa as he stormed out of the bathroom and made his way from the bedroom into the hall. Fuck him and the clothes Nancy had laid out for him. If it were up to him, he'd stay in a towel for the remainder of the day.<br/><br/><br/>This was the last straw. He was going to find out what was going on once and for all. Nothing could deter him. There had to be something in those journals he'd stolen. Why else would Asa have hidden them? So he thundered into his room, slammed and bolted the door on the inside. But he didn't set to work straight away. He needed a clear head and landed sitting on his mattress and simply thought about all the events that had happened for a good half an hour before he forced himself to move and grab one of the books along with his study notebook and a pen for writing. If he found anything useful, he was going to take notes. But what he found was beyond anything he thought was possible.