Gerard was in their- Well, now<i>his </i>own bedroom, He had been sleeping and crying intermittently for several hours, cuddeled up in one of Dave's big shirts that still had his scent. For the time being, he wasn't in tears, but he did held a picture of Dave in his hands, and his finger trailed slowly over his late husband's face, stroking the hawkish nose, the honey-colored eyes, and the big smile. The picture was taken a few days after they were told they were expecting; Dave's smile was full of true joy and love. And now, Gerard thought, he'll never get to meet their child... The baby inside him would never have a father. Dave's only baby would never get to meet him. The pain inside his chest- way worse than the heartburns he had lately thanks to the baby- Flared with terrible force, causing tears to flow down his face again. He felt so sorry for his child, no,<i>their</i>child, and for Dave, and for himself.<br/>He sobbed, caressing the picture carefully. He missed him so... So much.<br/><br/>He could hear someone from outside of the room, calling his name, but he couldn't call back. He didn't want to see the pity looks over people's faces, to feel the gentle hand on his stomach and the "poor child..." Whispers. He just couldn't hear people accepting Dave's death, because it'll force him to accept it, to accept the fact his husband- his lover, his whole life- was now in a place he could never find. That he won't talk to him or kiss him or fill him inside of himself anymore. Never. And although part of himself already accepted the horrible truth, he still woke up- each time- believing his husnabd was laying next to him, asleep. The illusion, althought it was lying, was comfortable. He didn't want to give it up.<br/><br/>He probably cracked something in return, because there was a silent before gentle knocks. Miserably, he called, "come in," his body automatically sitting up and covering inside the shirt. The action send a wave of Dave's scent, warm and familiar, to his face. He swallowed his tears as the door opened quietly.