John was more stricken, perhaps, than any of the Ovrem. He idealized her, but to him she'd already reached her full potential. There wasn't no new growth that he needed from her, not some other stage that she needed to reach. This soft fingered, light being, coming along when he guided her, and flitting into the room like a bright lantern, flying across the floor. He'd been smitten long ago, when he saw her the first time, colored by the legend of her that Jarek had started to spread. And John had never recovered. Such childhood crushes have a way of upholstering the heart if they are granted too long access.<br/><br/>He was also treated to her dance toward the books. She was muses apparition, then, seeking out the work she'd inspired, benevolent ghost seeing about her haunts. Open-eyed innocent, drinking in the room like she wasn't worth so much more. But she would not have had better lodgings in the infernal hospital that held her. Jarek had been infinitely right in his decision to move her. Their little becoming goddess should have beautiful sheets to sleep in, and plenty of space. It wasn't bad for their object of worship to have some of the earthly luxuries. They owed her that much, at least.<br/><br/>He didn't feel worthy of her private reading, but still stood there, close as he had followed when she moved, and gasped in disbelief at the honor. He was taller than her, but always in reverent position, insisting on his lack of worth with his gait, every time she was near, even if, exactly like the Ovrems, he felt a bit entitled to her by merit of his superior love. He smiled softly as she chose a very fitting passage. It felt like a miracle to him, that it was written, and that he'd lived in an age where she'd echo it to him from the millennia.<br/><br/>"You will!" he agreed and felt that swimming light run through his chest-cavity, fill it up and make it beautifully hollow. It seemed too much that she'd carry them, him, to glory with her revelations, when he would have followed her no matter the content of her words. The ritual could have been a failure and he'd still believe in Charlotte. He hurried to open the door when the knock announced the arrival of her meal, and he smiled at Irma when she moved in, tray and skirts.<br/><br/>He was also hungry, he discovered, and was drawn to the food while the angel sat there, sampling the steaming treasures. She was adorable, taking sustenance. Although he could have objected to her choice of first course. How quaint, her childishness, it wasn't like she needed to hold back in this place that worshipped her. John was stricter about his own habits. When he sat down on his knees by her, he felt tempted by the way she took the treat. Not because he was hungry for the sugary piece, but because he was starving for her. How many times had he defiled her image in his head, when he was alone in his own, simpler quarters. Those romantic imaginings of skin-ship held nothing to when she suckled her nails and carried on innocently, as though she wasn't the best lure for men in that state. It was too much that she'd lock eyes with him, her tongue and lips active. He didn't deserve any of this.<br/><br/>"Y-yes, of course I'll be there. I think Mr. Ovrem will let me be close. I have helped taken care of you, and he trusts me. It is the Doctor who will lead the ceremony, and the entire commune will come to see and sing. Kell will..." John didn't really care for Kell, because everyone else did. He was a charismatic darkness, and often prove to be like honey to the women here. Handsome prince of the leader, it seemed to call on parts of their womanhood that Jarek didn't appeal to. And even naïve, blinded John could see the way innocent Charlotte was in Kell's company. John hated his own envy, but it was still real. "be there at a supervising capacity. You know how he commands people." He sighed and continued to watch his eating nymph.<br/><br/>"And I believe it'll be the day after tomorrow." he said with a longing expression. even if he was fully satisfied with her here, his heart belonged to the cult too, and they were all looking forward to their time in the light, serving it through her words. It was the greatest meaning a human life could have, said the doctor, and John believed it. Everyone did. He sighed softly and stroked the upside of his thighs, soaking in her nearness.<br/><br/>"I... I know this is out of place, Charlotte." he said. "But it feels right that I ask you. It's been on my mind a lot, for a long time." his light eyes were a bit worried then. "How do you feel about me? Do you feel safe? How do you feel in your heart?" It was a clumsy interaction, he'd not been with anyone in that way, since it would have been a stain on his devotion. It was hard for him, putting himself on a stone table also, to see what he might be worth. "You know I feel fondly of you." he said, to try and explain the nature of his question.<br/><br/>Raker came alive inside her, and coiled behind her eyes. It had also weighed John through the years.<br/><br/>Tell him something that'll make him happy! Tell him you like him, but don't let him have too much.<br/><br/>John, unaware of the conversation inside her hear, took courage and lifted a cherry that had fallen off the cake she was enjoying, and held it out for her, like it was a gift that might make her feelings about him better.