He didn't know why, but he was able to focus on something that wasn't the horrible, black, big hole in his chest. He could hear shouts.<br/>He didn't know why was Markus yelling, but his dimmy voice was used as a background to some of Gerard's thoughts.<br/><br/>He knew he couldn't kill himself. The poor baby deserves living, and he couldn't suicide after he'll give birth. He didn't want the poor child to be totally orphan... So suicude was not an option, but when he started at his wrists, he thought maybe, hurting himself, just a little, would help. He felt so ashamed of being alive, maybe hurting himself would help? But he can't do it, not when Markus is here...<br/><br/>The door opened and Markus came in. Holding a plate and a cup of tea, he looked like some ideal housewife of the 40's, the thought made Gerard smile, before he saw Markus' expression.<br/>"I... Um... Heard you... Yelling." He said quietly, as Markus hamded him the plate with a warm, little smile. Gerard swallowed hard, Noting to himself that it had changed for him, that it mattered, as if he were trying to prove to himself that he was not depressed. "I-is everything okay?... You sounded a little... I dunno... Mad?"<br/>He felt like he was interfere in matters that are not his, but he liked Markus, and he didn't want him to be mad. He hoped Markus would understand it.