As Jasper processed all the information that was given she stood up and took the album, putting it back in it's high place on the shelf. Far our of Mala's current reach, the record was for Jasper to keep track, it was a medical history book that Jasper took when they went traveling and on vacation. Sighing softly Jasper moved to sit down, her hands once again in her lap as she tried to think about what she wanted to say next.<br/><br/>"Yes, I saw your scars. But I was trapped in what Mala likes to call Mother mode. I focus only on taking care of the person in front of me. You need comfy clothes, a warm bed and a good nights sleep. An some how in the middle of the night you ended up having some lind of night terrors. I came in to check on you and you pulled me into bed and pretty much refused to let me go. But now it makes sense with all the things you said before. You wanted to be able to love me and you kept asking me to let you love me. I honestly thought it was just some weird delusions you were having" she explained as she swallowed the lump in her throat, the next topic was going to be a hard one. But it would give Pearl an example of why it was so hard for Jasper to let people love her and why she was always worried about it.<br/><br/>"When I was born my mother put me up for adoption, the records I found stated she wanted nothing to do with me. Before I had Mala I went looking for her, deep down I knew I wasn't going to like the answer but I needed to know once and for all why she didn't want me. I was fourteen when I showed up at her soor step. Inside I could hear kids playing and laughing, she pushed me back as she came out and shut the door. Asked me what I was doing there, an I stuttered through mt words and she stopped me. She answered everything in one go, I was a nistake with someone she didn't love amd when she found out she was pregnant with me it was to late to terminate the pregnancy. I was apparently the worse nine months of her life, without another world she went back into her home and I went to my car. I drove for a good three hours before I pulled to the side of the road and just cried. All my life I just wanted someone to love me.. I swore to myself that day I would never let myself be tricked. An the  my ex came along and that's a whole other bag of worms I don't want to talk about"<br/><br/>Finishing her coffee Jasper nodded her head "I enjoy you being around Pearl and I enjoy having an adult to talk to. But you need to get your head on straight before we go forward with anything. I can't risk Mala, I can't risk anything that would ruin her chances at a happy stable life. Not when I've worked so hard" in truth Jasper was scared in general of letting someone love her and letting herself love someone who wasn't her daughter. She was scared of letting people in, she had submitted her self to a lonely life years ago andbhad accepted it with ease.