For one moment, for a short second, Ryan thought that he had finally managed to get his point across. That his explosive burst of emotion had convinced Mau of his resolve, that he had at long last been able to get her to stop doing whatever it was that she was trying to do. He had caught her off guard with his cold command, leaving her scrambling for a response, flustered and gasping in surprise. It was those moments, when she shrank away from him and panted for air, that gave Ryan a glimmer of hope that perhaps he had been able to reverse the inevitable path that he had begun.<br/><br/>It didn't last long. Ryan had been just about to release her wrist when Mau mustered her composure again, going from disconcerted to determined in the span of seconds. It was one of the many traits that he had admired in her so many years ago, but in this moment it was the last thing that he wanted. But it was exactly what he was going to get. When he stared into Mau's unflinching eyes, the way that they settled into steely resolve, he realized beyond a doubt that he was never going to be able to make her back down. She didn't entirely look the part; her body quivered, her words were meek, and her fingers were hesitant on his face. But he knew her, and he knew that her spirit was more than willing to fight him to the end.<br/><br/>If Ryan wanted to de-escalate the situation, it would have to be on his own terms. Leave, the rational voice in his head said. You can back off now, walk away, pretend this never happened. Don't put yourself back into this mess. Don't do anything you're going to regret. That was the part of him that he had forced to control himself ever since the war, the part of him that others saw when they saw a normal functional human. The part of him that the psychologist saw when he was diagnosed as completely reintegrated into everyday society. It was the part of him that literally everybody else always saw, until now. Until he met Mau again. Now, that part of him was quiet. Pleading. Losing.<br/><br/>Pandora's box was open. Physically, it would have been a simple matter to just back away, but his body wouldn't respond to that command anymore. No, he was being taken over by another set of motivations, a melange of emotion and memory. Despite all of his best efforts, Mau had lodged a foot into the door to his emotions. And now the trickle of emotional turmoil was fast becoming a flood.<br/><br/>"Why won't you give up on me?" His voice was strained, almost pleading. "All you had to do was just back up. Your life right now is all that you'd ever wanted."<br/><br/>But that was her. That was him. That was what had drawn him to her so many years ago, the fact that she relied on him and needed him like nobody else. Not a single other soul had trusted him like she had or believed him like she had, despite all of the toxicity in their relationship. That was what kept him coming back to her time after time again, and she to him.<br/><br/>He could feel the heat making its way through him, fuelled by rage and desire and Mau's touch and everything in between. The heat that emanated from her body, the distance between them less than inches.<br/><br/>"No," Ryan growled. "No, you just had to push me."<br/><br/>The fingers of his free hand closed around her neck just under her jaw, forcing her to look up into his eyes again, forcing her to see the roiling tempest of emotions that raged just under his cracking veneer. His hand was forceful, albeit not enough to cut off circulation just yet. Almost no space separated their faces, his visage so close she could feel his breath steaming against her skin. "Look at me." A snarl. "This is who I am." He had stepped forward in his fervor, their bodies pressed tightly together. "Is that what you want?"