There was a reason for the distance. If Luke was close enough to touch then he was close enough to kiss, and if they were kissing then they weren't talking, which was a tactic Eddy had used in the past to avoid important conversations that needed to happen. He wanted this time to be different, thus the distance.<br/><br/>Still, Luke looked awfully good over there with Your Majesty on his lap, his hair wild and skin shiny from the humidity outside.<br/><br/>Luke said he didnt care what people think. It was a line Eddy had heard often and he was sure that Luke meant it but he's probably never had his privacy violated, had never been harassed by reporters or have his information spread in magazines and newspapers and the internet. He's probably never had a stranger come after him, demanding details of his life in the middle of the street. Hopefully it would stay that way with Eddy still in hiding but there was always a possibility that he would be found. When that happened Luke would be smack dab in the middle of all that mess.<br/><br/>Luke would probably care much more then, but that was a what-if scenario and his therapist told him to always avoid those.<br/><br/>"I have bad lungs," Eddy said, suddenly, "I have an inhaler that I dont use and I get terrible coughs during the winter. My cholesterol is dangerously high, I'm prediabetic and I drink too much. I'll probably die from a heart attack before I reach 70."<br/><br/>"I'm antisocial and dont communicate well. I'm intensely private. I have a terrible temper. I take my frustrations out on the people close to me and there aren't many of those left. I complain too much about everything but there are days when I dont talk at all...."<br/><br/>Eddy didnt know why he was saying all this but now that he had started he couldnt seem to stop. It was like vomit, it all had to come out until nothing was left.<br/><br/>"I'm moody and crabby and cranky. I have trust issues and abandonment issues. I'm suspicious and paranoid and pessimistic. I'm not fun at parties, I don't go to parties. I dont go anywhere anymore.<br/><br/>"I'm a bull headed, self centered, stubborn bastard. I dont like being told what to do. I never listen. I forget birthdays and anniversaries and holidays. I've never been a good husband or boyfriend. I always say the wrong thing at the wrong time, I push people away...."<br/><br/>Eddy's steam finally ran out and he took a drink of his water to loosen the tightness of his throat. God, this was horrible. His therapist would be proud of his self awareness.<br/><br/>Why would Luke want to sign up with someone as difficult as him?<br/><br/>"I'm too old for you. You can do better than me..."