Sucking in a deep breath like air was precious, Hikaru sat bolt upright in his bed, eyes wild, drenched in sweat. He clutched at his chest, one hand going to his forehead in an attempt to stop the swirling sensation. It took him a good few minutes before he finally got his bearings, grounding himself with the feel of his bed beneath him, the crisp scent of rain that had drifted into his room from the window he'd left slightly ajar last night.<br/><br/>Burying his head in his hands, he glanced at his bedside clock through his fingers. 5 in the morning. The sleeping tablets hadn't worked as well as he'd hoped. Running his hands through his hair he decided that getting back to sleep after yet another nightmare would be pointless. It always happened around this time of year, the nightmares got worse, always the same nightmare but it didn't make it any easier to deal with.<br/><br/>He swung his legs round and got out of bed with a weary sigh. He started off by doing some calming exercises, like stretches, push ups, sit ups. The monotony of this routine helped him calm down, to focus his mind on nothing but the exercises at hand before facing the world. Running did the same, but it was getting colder and icer as autumn came upon them full force so he had to be more careful.<br/><br/>Taking a hot shower before getting dressed in some black jeans, a white t-shirt and jumper, with some black and white trainers, he decided completing some house hold chores for his grandparents would be the best way to start. He had to keep up with the normality of his routine, so not to raise suspicion or worry. He cleaned the house, raked the leaves, prepared breakfast all before 7:30am. He could hear the creaking of his grandparents waking up as he placed the food on the table.<br/><br/>Before eating he went into the other room, knelt on the floor and lit some incense. Opening the small shrine that held the photos of his parents and other lost family members. Clapping his hands together twice, he bent his head in a silent prayer.<i>Good morning. I hope you are doing well as always. And I hope you will forgive me today of all days, but I must do this. Please do me the favour of watching over Obasan and Ojisan whilst I'm gone, make sure that they don't worry too much. If something bad does happen today, let them know I love them and I didn't mean to make them upset. I love and miss you guys, who knows I might be seeing you soon if I am proved wrong.</i>Lifting his head he went back to eat breakfast with his grandparents like always.<br/><br/>"Oh Hikaru, you made breakfast..." his grandmother said with both a smile and disappointment on her withered features. "I was hoping to make your favourite this morning before you went to school," she said as she took a seat.<br/><br/>His grandfather shuffled in with a yawn after saying his own prayers. "Ah leave the boy alone. You know how he is. Besides, tonight we are having a big fe-!" His grandfather groaned at the whack he received from his grandmother, who looked nothing but innocent as she sipped her green tea.<br/><br/>Clearing his throat his grandfather grumbled as he rubbed his stomach where he'd been elbowed, reaching for his chopsticks in favour of continuing the now forbidden line of conversation.<br/><br/>Hikaru could do nothing but offer up a sad sort of smile as he finished up his breakfast, getting up to clear away his dishes. He walked off to grab his black coat and bag, before slipping his phone into his pocket. Before he could reach for the door to leave his grandmother came rushing out. "Hikaru wait! Wait!" Turning to face her, he spotted she was holding out a homemade bento box and a neatly wrapped gift to him. "Happy Birthday..."<br/><br/>He took the gift and bento. "Thanks oba-!" He groaned as his grandmother gave him a bone crushing hug. "They would be so proud of you, and would want you to enjoy yourself today of all days, don't forget that," she whispered, a tremble in her voice. Pulling away just as abruptly she offered him a sweet smile. "Now don't forget you have to be back here by 4:00pm. Your grandfather and I have a very important appointment to get to. Don't be late," she told him with a smile she tried so hard to hide. To which he could only offer a nod.<br/><br/>Turning back around he opened the door and said, "see you later..." to his grandmother even though he knew he might not be back in time for their surprise birthday feast that they had planned for him for his 18th birthday.<br/><br/>It was now or never.<br/><br/>He never made it to school that day, passing by the rest of the students on their way to school, taking a detour down some alleyways so not to be seen.<br/><br/>Trekking up the hill and through the tunnel of torii, past the shrine, down the other side of the hill, along the main road, he finally made it. The Kage no Shinzo Forest. The very forest where he had been rescued after a terrible plane crash that had kill everybody, including his parents, except him. The very forest where a man with fox like ears and a fan of tails had saved him, cared for him and brought him back home to his grandparents like he had promised, when he'd been only but ten years old.<br/><br/>He had been avoiding coming back to this forest, avoiding his past for the past eight years, until today. On his eighteenth birthday and on the anniversary of the plane crash, he was going to enter the forest once more. The forest said to harbour evil spirits and demon, the forest that is said to make people go mad just by looking at it, the forest that once you enter, you are never allowed to leave. Except he had left once.<br/><br/>But he had to know, he had to see him again as proof and thank him, had to face his past, to earn some semblance of peace. Or he really would go mad with all his guilt, sorrow and nightmares.<br/><br/>Taking a deep breath he did the unthinkable and prayed for forgiveness as he took the forbidden step into the Kage no Shinzo. Having braced himself for the worst, he was both surprised and disappointed as he turned to face the road he had just been on, expecting something bad or weird to happen, yet there was nothing. Birds continued chirping, colourful leaves still fell, the road was still in sight. He didn't understand what all the fuss was about. It didn't stop his heart from pounding with an anxiety and fear only known to him, but it did make him wonder if all the stories were just to scare children into listening to their parents.<br/><br/>Clutching his backpack in white knuckles he walked further and further into the forest, trying to remember back to when he was ten, back to when he had walked through this very forest with the strange fox-like man, trying to remember where they had been and how to find him. His anxiety was starting to creep up on him the further he walked, trying to pull on the calming memories of the time he'd spent with the fox. But the memories of screaming and sorrow were invading his calm.<br/><br/>Maybe he shouldn't have came back here, maybe it was too soon. On the verge of hyperventilating he turned to go back to the road, except he could no longer see the road through the thick fog that he had failed to notice had descended upon him. He knew he'd walked a straight path from the road into the forest, so logic dictated he could return to the road by walking straight back. Except walking back was easier said than done. He tried going back but the longer he walked the more disorientated he became, and neither his childhood anxiety or fear were helping him.<br/><br/>Eventually he stopped by a tree and sat down, back to the trunk, head in his hands. He had to calm down, think rationally. Ten minutes later and he figured he'd calmed down enough to try and continue on. Going back was no longer an option, not until he found the man who had helped him. Only then would he attempt to go back. He was being childish and he was no longer a child.<br/><br/>So he pushed himself back up onto his feet, dusted himself off and continued forward into the forest, deeper and deeper, trying to catch glimpses of trees or rocks he might recognise. Anything. So when he thought he recognised something he followed it, calling out to see if anyone or anything might answer him. Hoping.<br/><br/>Yet there was never any reply. His watch told him it was mid to late after noon, so when he saw what looked to be a boulder he decided he might as well stop and sit, to eat and drink something before carrying on his quest. Of course he'd stocked up on food and other supplies before coming out. But he decided to pull out his grandmothers bento box and gift to start. Opening the bento he gave a small sad smile at his childhood favourites and the 'Happy Birthday xox' written in sauce over his food from his grandmother. After a moment he finally began to dig in, trying to savour her cooking as it could very well be a while before he had it again.