[I didn’t realize I never told you I was gonna be hard pressed for time. I am SO sorry. Hopefully this didn’t fizzle all the way out, and I’ll try and get the mojo goin again for it.]<br/><br/>It didn’t make any sense did it? Why Mau wanted him around. Why she’d give just about anything to keep him around. Why her body went through, by all rights and purposes, withdrawal for him when he wasn’t close; aches, sweats, nausea, anxiety. You’d think she would want him as far away as possible, for as long as possible if not forever! Because.. nobody should want another person having so much… power, or influence, over them. They shouldn’t want to feel those things! Like they couldn’t function properly without that one certain human being in their life.<br/><br/>But as it were… she did. Mau wanted all the hurt and all the feel good. Ryan was quite possibly the one person on the planet who brought out the best in her, just as much as he did the worst. He gave her the ability to feel real emotions, no matter how manic they could be, and that was something right? They were meant to feel things – true things, and Mau she just… couldn’t. She was more akin to a chameleon, blending in with whatever crowd she happened to be in; feeling what they felt and doing what they did. It wasn’t so much as a follower as it was the girl genuinely not knowing how to commit to herself. With him? It was different. Maybe because he always tolerated her crazy, even when he vowed he wouldn’t. Ryan was no more healthy than herself. She’d be willing to bet a part of him got off on her being his very own marionette and that itself was its own brand of fucked up.<br/><br/>Ryan would never cut those strings.<br/>He just needed reminded, that was all.<br/><br/><i>Fine</i><br/>It’s all it took for her crumbled composure to beam up at him, and Mau let him move her off him. Gave him his space back, sniffled and smoothed her hands down the front of her shirt. One word, and while she still had tears, those eyes were smiling now. Not smug, or arrogant, just so fucking glad that he surrendered to her pleas even if it was with a grudge, “Yea?” She was breathless, quickly wiped at her eyes to gather up any smudged mascara, and bounced her head up and down several times when he asked about her apartment, “I do!” Mau answered excitedly, the adrenaline still enough to keep her quaking slightly but for the most part her shit was under control.<br/>In that hallway she emerged from was a rack of hooks and she was quick to move for it, plucking her ivory peacoat off of it and sliding both arms in, “Makovi’s drinks go on a tab she doesn’t pay.” She told Brenna, who was still standing there with a gaping mouth, to which Mau pressed the pad of her index finger up against her chin and closed it for her, “So don’t give her shit about it.” And by the way she was speaking to her? Was like she’d never been strung out on the emotions he evoked in the first place, “Lock up but don’t leave til Sully gets here.” He’d be by to get the drop-cash after closing, but the new girl didn’t need all the details, and that was all the instruction that Mau would give her before she was turned back on Ryan.<br/><br/>Took it upon herself to thread her fingers with those of his right hand, using her free one to gather up all that hair and pull it out from underneath her jacket, “C’mon—” She urged him from behind the bar, still wiping at her face that was fast drying at this point, “I’m just two blocks over.” In a building that this job wouldn’t come close to making rent on, but Mau was a bit of a roustabout these days, doing shit she had no business doing – or so some would claim – for the seediest of Southie’s ring leaders. No, it wasn’t turnin tricks.<br/>The entire walk to her place? Girl barely caught a breath. She walked backwards half the time, that way she was facing him when she tried to catch him up on everything that was worth mentioning; who died, who was in prison, who flipped and went informant, who got buried under the bridge in Winter Hill. Mau acted like he wanted to know those things, hell.. maybe she believed he did. His adamant just for tonight having faded out of her conscious mind before they even left the pub and made it out in to the brisk air that made the end of her nose pink, “Maybe we can call up the fella’s later—” She told him while using one key to unlock three bolts on her door, “--let ‘em know ya in.” Her lips were fixed in a permanent grin when she glanced over her shoulder at him, giving the door a bump with her hip, popping it open, “Sure they’ll be glad to see a long lost memba of<i><b>the crew </b></i>again.”  Her brows danced with scheming insinuation -- again, disregarding his<i>one night </i>proposal.