<u>Me:</u><br/><br/>The movie they picked out had no assault of any kind. It was a romance, soft and heartfelt. Sam didn't object to Ryan sitting next to him. The movie sort of faded into the background. He was left staring at him. He'd kept his hands to himself, not wanting to crowd Ryan. Instead he just leaned against him in return. But the movie didn't have his attention. This man did. His heart fluttered, and their mouths collided. He ignited with passion. A hand came up and lightly touched Ryan's shoulder.<br/><br/>He could pull away at any moment. He didn't invade his personal space anymore than Ryan let him. His mouth was soft and tentative. He exhaled and leaned in a little more, but kept his hands to himself. His guilt hit him then, and he pulled away. "Oh, Ryan. I want this. I want you. But I promised you I wouldn't keep any secrets."<br/><br/>He looked away, wanting a drink. He prepared himself for the worse when he said, "Before you came here, I slept with Kane, your father." He swallowed and leaned back, looking up at the ceiling. "He was he when I got home. There's such... chemistry between us, but I've forgotten all of what he and I have...or had, really. He wouldn't tell me."<br/><br/>Sam's eyes closed. "I told him I wanted to try, with you. I want to date you, but I'll understand if you don't."<br/><br/><u>You:</u><br/><br/>Having the man pull away caused some concern and confusion written across Ryan's features and then the man spoke of what was on his mind and he found himself a little speechless. There was a long pause and it would be impossible to miss the sadness on Ryan's face. "If... you had forgotten... why did you do it?" he asked honestly not sure if he wanted to know but the question was out there now and it would bother him until he had answers. He was hurt that much was clear despite how he tried to hide it and seem more relaxed than he was in his seat. "I can't really offer... what he can." he said gesturing in a way that indicated the missing third person in the conversation and his eyes dropped down to the floor.<br/><br/>Why did this keep happening? He had thought they had gotten passed this last night when Kane had showed up but his father just kept on hurting him. Sometimes he would try to justify his actions saying he was doing it for Ryan's good but he really wasn't sure that was the case. He kept looking down feeling strangely inadequate at the moment despite Sam's assurance that he turned the man away to give it a shot at dating Ryan. "If he wants you he's going to get you. There isn't much point in standing in the way." his vibrant smile was gone replaced with that unease and sadness that echoed the traumatized man he had saved from the burning building.<br/><br/><u>Me:</u><br/><br/>Sam grimaced and looked away. "He's hard to say no to. He made me remember things, good things." He carded a hand through his hair. "But there are pieces missing. So much I don't remember and he refused to help me." His eyes narrowed. "No one can make me do anything, Ryan." He reached out and gently cupped his face. "If I wanted what he gave me I wouldn't have asked you out on another date."<br/><br/>He shook his head and pulled his hand away. "I don't just want hot, erotic sex with someone. I want the good stuff, the bad, and everything in between. I know what happened to you, and if we never have sex, I can live with that." He gave a slight smile. "At least I'd like to think I would. You are so sweet and kind. I really don't deserve you, but if you're willing to give me a try, I d like to see how far we can get." He blew out a breath. "It sounds as bad as it is but I need to figure out what I have, or had, with Kane. I want to remember, but I'm here with you right now and I don't want to think about Kane right now. But I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I hadn't told you."<br/><br/><u>You:</u><br/><br/>The hard to say no part Ryan understood and he didn't doubt that the demon had some tricks up his sleeve which led to this whole thing. He wanted to sigh a little because it was so frustrating to feel like he was playing by the rules and yet demons could do as they pleased and be praised for it. Even the small bit of healing he had done on Sam could have gotten him into a world of trouble. The gentle touch the words did warm him even if he still was hurt. A look of surprise crossed his face, "I... I never said we shouldn't have.. sex." he said flushing bright red at the word but making sure his eyes contact was present. "I know we didn't really talk about what happened to me but... I want it. It was probably worse because well, you probably figured it out by now it was my first time, but that doesn't mean I will avoid it." he meant it in that moment he wanted Sam. "It was very different from what we would have... and maybe I might need to do things differently to adjust but that sort of connection is an important bond."<br/><br/>Mentioning trying to remember what he had with Kane had Ryan shaking his head, "Does it matter? You said you want to try with me, going down that path sounds like it will only bring problems. It already has! You slept with someone who only found out yesterday had been in your life." this was the first time Ryan was getting animated, slightly upset but still keeping it mostly together. "Do you really want to dig around there? What if you found out you had the perfect life and I came around and ruined it? Who knows what is buried. It must be buried for a reason and some secrets are best left there." Ryan was of that belief, he was able to forgive Sam for his mistake but it sounded like he was on the path to try and tempt himself into making more. "If you're so drawn to him... I can't let you keep hurting me."