Ryker avoided his father and sister's gazes as he took his place upon the stage alongside wiry looking girl with dark hair glinting down to her waist. He seemed to have developed tunnel vision as he eyed the crowd, not hearing a single word that was spoken as he gazed into a camera now broadcasting his face for all of Panem to see. He wanted to disappear. No. He wanted to go back in time to yesterday, a day he'd been so, so happy. He couldn't recall ever having felt that joy before and now it was gone. He was ushered off the stage, alongside the young woman, whose name he'd gathered through the haze of his mind to be Arabella, and into the storehouse. He was left standing, in shock, beneath a pyramid of logs that dwarfed him, the irony being that he already felt small on the inside. As if nothing he did from this point forward would matter.<br/><br/>He didn't regret his decision, however. Not for a second.<br/><br/>He wasn't left alone for too long as his sister rounded the corner, a solemn look on her face. "Ryker. Why? Why?" her voice trailed off and suddenly maybe Ryker regretted what he'd done for just an instant as he took in  sorrow. "I-You saw why, Robyn." Everyone had seen. Everyone would know that he, Ryker Blackwood, had fallen in lvoe with his best friend. He crossed his arms over his chest, eyes taking in the dusty floor. "Where's Dad?" His sister didn't answer right away, instead moving to embrace him in her arms and suddenly Ryker could feel again, but he didn't want to as tears threatened his vision. "Please," he pushed her away. "Maybe you don't understand, but either way I would have been dead. Either on a screen or on the inside. At least this way I can live with myself." Or die. Which was most likely. But he stood a greater chance than Silas, who'd never picked up an axe in his life. Regardless, he refused to entertain the hope of his survival. The games were almost always won by a career.<br/><br/>"Father doesn't understand. It's been a long time since he's loved anything." Robyn wasn't wrong, but Ryker knew he was likely ashamed of his son's display. Ashamed and unable to cope with the loss of his youngest. Perhaps Ryker felt guilty for that too, but his decision was made. "I love you," his sister's voice cut through his thoughts like ice, tears rolling down her face now. Because of his selfish decisions, he had hurt everyone he loved. Even Silas, he realized. Because now his friend would be the one to suffer alone in this place while Ryker took the easy way out. "I love you too." He kissed Robyn on the cheek. "And tell him I love him. And I'm sorry." He didn't specify whether he meant Silas or his father. He was sure Robyn could figure it out. He didn't want to see Silas's face, sure the blonde boy would want to say goodbye, but, the truth was, Ryker was too weak to see that pain on his friend's face, so he followed the oddly dressed man out of the warehouse, waving goodbye to his sister, and into the train car.<br/><br/>Food was placed before him, the likes of which he'd never seen in his life. Curiously, he prodded at a juicy bit of meat, but before he could bother raising the morsel to his lips, his eyes rested upon a gaudily decorated cake. Perhaps it was bigger and more opulent than the one Silas had made for him, but the realization came crashing down all at once, that it was likely his own fault Silas's name had been drawn at all. Because of a fucking cake. He dropped his fork and couldn't hold back the tears any longer, hiding his face in his hands as Arabella sat across from him in silence, her own food untouched. He didn't care if she saw. They were both going to die soon, anyways.<br/><br/>That's when he noticed two familiar figures enter the room. A man in his thirties, sporting a full beard and flat frown upon his face. The smaller woman, beside him, seemed more empathetic as her gaze rested on something over Ryker's shoulder. He turned to see yet another screen, his stomach doing nauseating flips as he watched himself kiss Silas goodbye. Why did they have to torture him like this? Remind him of things he didn't want tom think about? He stood to leave, go anywhere, but here. "I'm not hungry."<br/><br/>"Sit," the bearded man insisted. "Doesn't matter if you're hungry or not. If you're gonna survive the games, you need to eat." The woman nodded and the two introduced themselves, but Ryker already knew who they were. Blight and Johanna. Past victors of The Hunger Games. Numb, he lowered himself back into his chair, placing an odd bread into his mouth, not tasting it at all. He needed to dry his tears, he supposed, before they caught that on camera as well.