It had pleased Pearl immensely when she took notice of the way Jasper's nostrils flared just slightly in frustration while she looked about her breakfast stations and weighed the odds in her head. They'd only been going out for, perhaps, a week now and hardly had they ever stayed away from each other for very long. This was the first time they were going to entertain family together and that meant learning new steps to a dance neither of them had ever done before. The thought was both enticing and treacherous for the dancer as all she wanted to do in that moment was curl up in the safety of her lover and love her. Learning to let others into their world was a test of patience; one that Jasper should have already had a better handle on than Pearl since they were her family. A familiarity not afforded to the older woman.<br/><br/>As Peridot looked her over, Pearl felt herself twitching in unease at the thought of someone examining her, judging her, even if the onlooker meant nothing rude by it. It was a habit she would have to get used to at least 8 more times before the day was through and the lanky little bean that barely had enough confidence to propel herself through most days had to find the determination to stay strong today of all days. It could be done. Would be done. Pearl loved Jasper and wanted nothing more than the woman's family to love her as well. Perhaps it was all dramatic. The older woman was used to dancing for people's affection, literally or figuratively, and though her lover had improved ten times over, the situation remained the same. Play the proper role and be that which they desired. If Jasper had been paying attention, she could probably see the way Pearl fidgeted between her typical self and this odd, rigid form she continued melting back and forth into. It was an old mold, one the dancer probably should have broken and remade in a better image long ago. Pearl's desire to please her lover's family was going to take a toll on the woman by the end of the night if she didn't learn to relax and realize she was being far too harsh on herself. Jasper was likely the one far more broken than the both of them with scars that ran deeper than any of Pearl's physical ones, but the dancer had cracks of her own and wasn't the flawless gem her name may have led most to believe. She just needed someone to pull her aside, show her love, and gently--or otherwise--remind her she had no roles to play this time and no one to impress because Jasper's family would learn to love her so long as Jasper loved her.<br/><br/>Pearl placed her hands on the counter and slowly felt her fingers roll back into her palms as she offered an equally awkward smile back. "I.. don't think Jasper even realized I was her type." Pearl added after a moment with a soft flit of laughter that was choked from her throat. She was still having an inner struggle between the desire to be herself and the overwhelming need to be this role she thought she had to play. The older woman hadn't even realized she was doing it. It was that same old habit that had gotten her sick in the first place, trying to be too many things she wasn't. "And I'll just call you Peridot then." It was a struggle to not be formal, but if that's what the person wanted, who was she to say otherwise.<br/><br/>Jasper was looking her way now, those familiar begging eyes she'd grown accustomed to seeing more and more on her lover now that they were dating. Before, it was a look she'd usually only see Mala use, but now it made sense where the child had learned the habit from. Her tiger was more often than not, a giant kitten that just wanted her belly rubbed and her pride praised; all things Pearl more than happily gave her because she loved the feeling of being needed and adored. Their give and take fed into their opposing egos perfectly and the look also brought Pearl back down to Earth momentarily from whatever projected role she was trying to fill. "Sweetheart..." The woman moved her way over to Jasper and the closer she got, the more she forgot Peridot had even been in the room. Instead, her crimson hues shifted predatory as she approached the wounded prey, even as that prey was one she had to look up to. She reached up to even the playing field, pulling the giantess's face down to hers. "You can have your tradition. But when your daughter includes herself..." She shook the woman's chin and chuckled, "And you know she will, then you're responsible for the aftermath. Mmk?" The older woman was tempted to use her nickname for her lover, but there was something in the back of her mind vaguely reminding her this was not the time or place. She glanced over at Peridot and chuckled softly, finally remembering the smaller woman in the room and giving her a grin. The exchange that happened after had Pearl wondering how Amethyst acted while drunk. If it was anything like Jasper, then the evening was going to be quite a show. Even the mention of Jasper singing when she's drunk had the woman looking over at her girlfriend with stars in her eyes, fantasies already being created and remolded over and over again in her head. "I would hope if I asked Jasper to sing regardless of being drunk, she would do it for me. Right?" She glanced over at her lover, but knew the answer was uncertain and just laughed.<br/><br/>A knock on the door ended the playful banter and at the reminder that there were still more guests to tend to, Pearl quietly slipped back into that old mold, growing a bit more rigid as she stood with her back properly aligned and a peaceful smile on her face. It was almost like the clock was striking 12 and the real woman was turning back into the doll she originally was while her carriage poofed back into a pumpkin. Pearl peeked around the corner to get a glimpse of the guests as Jasper greeted them each in her traditional way. The customs were foreign to her and made Pearl feel more like an outsider than she should have. She ducked back into the kitchen and leaned against the wall to catch her breath as Mala and Garnet ran rushing past her to the training room. She smiled partially at that, placing a hand over her chest to steady her breathing. Mala was going to teach Garnet the same grace, beauty, and fierceness Pearl had taught her. There was something pleasing to actually see her passions being passed on and carried so gently in the hands of those so young. Again, Pearl came back down to Earth and could breath again, react once more in a manner more becoming of who she actually was and not what she thought everyone wanted from her.<br/><br/>And then Jasper stood beside her and she felt warmth and felt safe. And then her safety opened her mouth and introduced her to her mother. Pearl froze. The ground fell away once more and she felt an all too perfect smile split her lips, but it felt like someone else was pulling the strings. She was starting to become self aware. She shook the woman's hand and placed her free hand atop them both, nodding softly to the woman before letting go completely. "It's... a pleasure to meet you, Ma'am." As the woman went on to compliment her, Pearl couldn't decide if she was complimenting the image Pearl tried to portray or her actual self. Nonetheless, she inserted her chuckle when appropriate, even as her hand instinctively reached out to cling lightly to Jasper's sweatpants, hoping it was light enough the woman would not feel it, but still give the comfort Pearl felt she needed. It was a lot at once. Ruby and Sapphire rounded the corner and greeted her and she gave a soft smile, introducing herself again and giving a bow of her head. "With ah... with guests arising, I should probably dress more, mm, appropriately." She looked down at herself, feeling heavily embarrassed as she pushed past the lot of them and made a bee-line for her bedroom. Their bedroom. The collective mass turned their heads and followed her down the hallway, but it was Sapphire who seemed to get a sense of what was going on. "Jasper, I think she might need help finding an outfit." Saph smiled at the giantess and tugged softly on Ruby's hand to pulled her lover into the kitchen, giving a gentle wave to Peridot and greeting her; attempting to make the situation less awkward. Sapphire had always been good at reading a room and steering things in the appropriate direction; something that came easy to the woman. "How were the stocks today, Peri?" she asked her in-law, chuckling because she already had a vague idea of how they'd gone. "It's good to have everyone together again. I missed this silly family..." Her voice was soft and pleasant, a tone that always seemed to put Ruby at ease upon hearing it and generally anyone else, but especially her hot-headed and wonderful wife.<br/><br/>Pearl quietly shut the door behind her and leaned against it, burying her face in her hands as she sighed. Had she already blown it? Surely the only thing she had blown was her own proportions regarding the situation, but she didn't have the 20/20 vision afforded to bystanders and hindsight right now. No, right now, she just felt foolish and as if she failed. Why had she left the room? She should of been able to stay there at least a little while longer. Leaving so early made things appear so much worse. Her brows furrowed as she dragged her face out of her hands, letting her fingers run down her expression. There were just so many people and how could she be the ideal her for so many different people? She barely even knew how to be herself! But the urge to please them and to be the perfect everything for Jasper was an irrational desire that had stemmed from a crack in herself; one she had for a long time. The habits were hard to break, but at least she'd started realizing the pattern, seeing there was something wrong.<br/><br/>She tore off her sleeping shirt--Jasper's sleeping shirt-- in favor for something more... more what? What was she supposed to wear? Her company wore a mixture of attire, none of which hinted at all to how she might fit in with what she should wear. Her gaze washed over the piles of clothes she'd slowly absorbed into Jasper's room and then her eyes fell on the silhouette of a bewildered woman. Her skin was pale and even though no one was staring at her, she still felt the need to hug her torso as if eyes were always prying. There was no color or pigment to any of her. Even the faintest shade of her skin was almost closer to paper than anything that could sustain life. But those lab rat red eyes stared back at her, bewildered and frightened. The woman was just her in the mirror and the realization shocked the foundation of her unstable confidence. She hugged her torso tighter and turned from the mirror, continuing her search for an appropriate costume.<br/><br/><<You meanie face poopie head. /wins >>