Eliot clenched his jaw and stared at Quentin with focused eyes. There was no way he could just... reveal himself. He had spent the last three years building up this persona, this 'I don't give a fuck' attitude that he and Margo had perfected. It was all that kept him safe from being hurt again. The last time he let his guard down was with Mike, and he turned out to be possessed by the Beast. He had had to kill Mike himself, and in that moment, he killed a part of himself too.<br/><br/>He knew what Q was saying was true, he was terrified. But how cold you just throw away fear so easily? It was there for a reason, at least that's what Eliot thought. His eyes scanned over Quentin's expression, his own face softening as he looked over the beautiful man. The lifetime they had spent together had enraged the spark that had been there since day one. It was no longer a crush, Eliot knew that. He would die for Quentin, and he was pretty sure Quentin would die for him too, but what did that mean? Q said that he loved him... But was it in the same way?<br/><br/>Eliot cleared his throat. "Yeah, I'm fucking terrified, Q. Nothing but bad has happened my entire life, and Brakebills just turned me into a shit show. Even if what I said was true, I can't... I can't let myself feel that. I can't let you know. Because I know you, Q, you want to fix the broken things, and I am fucking shattered. But I'm not worth fixing, Q. I would do nothing but bring you down, and I can't do that to you. Regardless of any feelings, you are my best friend. I don't want to fuck that up," Eliot's hand was shaking softly by the time he finished, tears stinging his eyes. He blinked the tears away and looked towards the window, taking another puff of the cigarette. "I'm not hiding who I am. I know who I am. I'm protecting you from it."