<b>Trigger Warnings: NSFW, Suicide, and all sorts of Dark Adult Subject Matter.</b><br/><br/><div style="margin: auto; overflow: auto; max-width: 500px; height: 600px; padding: 10px; border-top: 10px Ridge #008cb4; border-right: 10px Ridge #008cb4; border-bottom: 10px Ridge #008cb4; border-left: 10px Ridge #008cb4; background: #000000 url(''); color: #ffffff; font-family: Georgia; font-size: 15px; text-align: center"> <b>Location:</b> New York City<br/>
<b>Season: </b>Early Fall<br/>
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<i><b><span class="fixed-color" style="color:rgb(61, 142, 185)">"I can't let you go"</span></b></i></span>​</div><span style="font-family:Barlow Condensed">Judas stared back at Dominic; eyes stretched wide as if he hadn’t expected Dominic to come back so soon. A part of him hoped that the other man wouldn’t return home at all. Judas liked to tell himself that he hadn’t changed but maintaining the façade of sanity was getting harder and harder to do these days. His leather black dress shoes were scuffed along the sides and bottoms, his nails—usually perfectly manicured had grown an inch too long and the sleeves of his white dress shirt were missing their cufflinks. He felt like he was disintegrating under the weight of it all. The weight of his own loneliness, the weight of his unspeakable grief. There was no one else that understood, not like Dominic could. No one else that could take the weight off his back and make it easier for him to breathe again. He didn’t know whether to smile or sneer, instead he sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and trapped it there with bleach white teeth.<br/>
Judas knew, he had no one. His mother had passed years ago. There was no funeral. No service. He put her in the ground and expect to feel closure rushing in, to sooth the damage lines of his psyche and heart but closure never came.<br/>
But Paul did.<br/>
He and his twin brother didn’t speak. Paul had seemed resigned to the fact that he would simply do whatever he wanted. There were no accusations, no arguments or fights. Paul just stood close, and Judas imagined, would’ve hugged him had he allowed it.<br/>
They were both useless.<br/>
The only people in his life that could begin to understand the knots he had tangled up in his mind, so easily betrayed him in ways he could never forgive. Dominic didn’t need him anymore. He could see it written all over his face. All those years ago, they had promised each other forever. Tears welled up in Judas’ eyes, partly because he thought that his wolf had betrayed that promise, but mostly because he knew that he’d never be able to break his own. Judas stood up from Dominic’s chair, lifting the gun to point it as Dominic’s chest. He gritted his teeth and ignored the heat that flooded his face and crowded behind his eyes. The cold steel in his hands, felt foreign. He had spent years pulling the trigger for lesser reasons, so much so there were times he couldn’t sleep without feeling the comforting weight of a gun in his hands.<br/>
Those same hands shook yet refused to lower.<br/>
<b><span class="fixed-color" style="color:rgb(61, 142, 185)">“I… hate you, Dominic Black.”</span></b>  Judas’ voice was thick with everything <i>but</i> hate, his lips were twisted and chewed, eyes red and cheeks wet. <span class="fixed-color" style="color:rgb(61, 142, 185)"><b>“And I cannot, keep living like this.”</b></span> Judas moved his index finger to lightly rest against the trigger of the gun. <span class="fixed-color" style="color:rgb(61, 142, 185)"><b>“I just hope you can forgive me,”</b></span> Judas swallowed, stare unwavering <b><span class="fixed-color" style="color:rgb(61, 142, 185)">“For putting us through this non-sense and not killing you like I should’ve 10 years ago”</span>.</b> Judas didn’t wait for Dominic to respond, he couldn’t. He just wanted this to <i>end.</i> He closed his eyes and pulled the trigger twice. When he opened his eyes, an all too familiar numbness returned to his body. His limbs felt heavy and his throat was dry. Almost mechanically, Judas moved to where Dominic had slid down to rest against the wall, hands stained with blood. He took off his suit jacket and sat down next to him, unaware of the tears that continued to run down his face.<br/>
<b><span class="fixed-color" style="color:rgb(61, 142, 185)">“I’m <i>so</i> sorry puppy,” </span></b>Judas rested his head against Dominic’s shoulder, as one arm snaked around his bicep and the other held the gun. His voice was unrecognizable to his own ears. <span class="fixed-color" style="color:rgb(61, 142, 185)"><b>“—I couldn’t let you go.”</b></span></span><br/>
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