<span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family:Open Sans">Eivind watched Blue with a frown, listening to him talk about how he could have just killed him, like he was meant to do. To wash his hands clean of all of it, but Eivind was shaking his head.<br/>
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“I would have had an easier time slitting my own throat. That was instinct. There would have had to be something wrong with my mind for me to kill you. Something seriously wrong. I've heard of many things, but I've never heard of a wolf being able to do that.” Eivind didn't think he was so awful that he could be the first. That would be more than just selfishness. That would verge on something else..<br/>
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“Psychosis is much more prominent in humans,” he commented, though realized Blue might not believe that Lofgren wasn't a complete psycho. “Things fell into place, and it didn't cross my mind a single time. You give me too much credit though.” He warred with what he was about to admit, but he wanted to be honest with Blue. He sighed, and then continued. “If you hadn't been my mate. If you'd just been another human, I'd have liked to think I would have done the same thing. I cannot say that I am confident that I wouldn't have chose the easier path, though. So, in that, I don't really think it was an altruistic act. I had something to gain from it.” He sighed, unsure what Blue might think of all that. It seemed a little different now that they'd spent time together; something more. Eivind wanted Blue for more than what he could simply gain from him.<br/>
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“I know what I would do now, if put in a position to help someone like that again. It wasn't right, what the pack was going to do even to anyone who had no connection to us. I see that now. I didn't care, or have an opinion before, but I do now.” He hoped that was enough for Blue.<br/>
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The subject lightened a little bit, and Blue make a joke saying that he wouldn't have fucked his dad.<br/>
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“I would have fought for you. Don't worry. I would never have put you in a position to have to refuse my father.”<br/>
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They were eating, and Eivind was trying new things that he never would have if not for Blue. He was enjoying the experience, and more importantly, enjoying the company.<br/>
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“I'm looking forward to the rest,” he said honestly. After they finished the food set in front of them, Blue pressed Eivind for a little bit more.<br/>
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“With my job, I grew up knowing it was what I would be doing. My father taught me, and at least in that I seemed to have a mind for it. I like making things. I like the structure, and the balance of seeing something well crafted and stable. I'm not passionate about it like you are your art, but I like the exertion and getting to work outside quite a bit. He picked our location to start up the lumber company, and I like milling just as much.” He shrugged, not seeming to care quite so much what he was doing, so long as it was outside, and laborious.<br/>
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He gave some careful consideration to Blue's other question.<br/>
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“Not like us, really. There was a woman when I was younger. She was sweet, and kind. Agreeable. Petite, pretty, with dark hair. She decided to stay with me, and I don't think I minded. I still did what I wanted, and she was there when I returned. It was convenient, I guess. She didn't push, didn't expect, and it was easy. Well, my father decided that since she was living with me, it was about as involved as I'd ever been. He fucked her, the first one my father had ever pulled that with. That was fine. She had been okay with it, and it would have been a good position for her, given the status of my father. It pissed him off when he didn't get a reaction from me.” He sank back a little into the chair, farther away from Blue.<br/>
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“When that didn't work, he hurt her, trying to get me to reach me in some capacity. I just sent her away. He asked what was wrong with me. Why hadn't I protected what I'd claimed?” Eivind didn't really have an answer.<br/>
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“I think I realized after that I didn't need to put anyone else through that mess. Keep it casual. No one has really been worth it to me to want to protect them. From my father, from anyone. People get themselves killed over one another. I always thought they were stupid. Like there was not really a good enough reason for the fighting, but I get it now. It would serve that asshole right that I'd found a young human mate to feel everything he was trying to make me feel. He's not even around to see it.” Eivind snorted, finishing the wine and pouring himself a heartier portion.<br/>
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"He was trying to make me strong. Capable of following in his footsteps. That was how his father did him, only my father was just naturally aggressive. He'd fight someone over a dirty sock simply because he could. It's funny now, to found out my disinterest in my partners had a reason. I think I would have been satisfied to let that girl stay, at least until we grew apart, if not for my father though."</span></span>