Standing there, in the line at the cafeteria, Gwen experienced a moment of pure clarity. It was beautiful, that moment, the whole world opened up to her and became as clear as the crystal-cool reflective surface of a still lake at noon. Glorious, it was, and she had never felt quite so aware of everything. It was like every sense lit up and sang the same song - and the words resonated throughout her entire body. She heard them, like the ringing out of bells on a silent winter morning.<br/><br/><i>My life, right now, sucks.<br/>
</i><br/>There, on one side of her was the man who she had thought she might be developing feelings for; feelings which she had considered long-since dead. He seemed to be kind, funny, and more than that he understood what being a single parent meant. The way she felt when he looked at her had made Gwen think that maybe she wasn't destined to live her life alone, devoid of feeling for another human being. But, like she'd said in her note to him, he'd made his choice and she respected that. So, she did her best to just push away the attraction she felt for Eli. After all, it was significant only because she thought that Paul, her husband, had killed it completely.<br/><br/>Thoughts of Paul led her to considering the man standing on the other side of her. She'd met far too many men like him in her time, Gwen knew. Something about the red hair and green eyes attracted them, she decided. Martin was a suave and charming man, but she knew a total snake when she met one, and he was. When Eli had turned up at the<i> Fallen Angel</i>, Gwen had been embarrassed, but she felt that way because she didn't want Eli thinking of her as prepared to sell herself. When Martin turned up there, she felt violated and, frankly, his hand on her ass had not helped that feeling.<br/><br/>And there she stood, between them. Living her best life which, in this moment, sucked.<br/><br/>Gwen glanced at Martin as he asked if they should sit together, the two of them, and she wished for a moment that Eli would just step in and save her. Say something kind and thoughtful like, "actually, I was hoping that we could discuss the health & safety inspection, Gwen?" and show Martin that the two of them had inside jokes, that for some reason Eli was a person in her life and so Martin should back the hell off.<br/><br/>Of course, that didn't happen.<br/><br/>She knew it wouldn't. Why would Eli give a single fig about her, Gwen considered. He'd made his choice, he'd talked about 'we' this and 'we' that. She didn't know quite why she even wasted her thought process on wishing differently. So there they were. The two adult men in her life. One who she'd been interested in, but had no interest in her, and the one who was sniffing around her constantly and who she wouldn't touch with someone else's barge-pole.  And again, clarity struck.<br/><br/><i>I don't need this.</i><br/><br/>"Well, if you two will excuse me. I've just remembered that I really need to be somewhere else." With that, Gwen turned and stepped out of the line, turned and walked out of the canteen.  She didn't look back, said no more than she had said already and simply kept walking. Her back was straight and she lifted her chin, determined to keep her head up and stuff the pair of them. Martin watched her, his lips lifting slightly in a smile as he observed the gentle swaying of her hips. "She's gorgeous," he said to Eli and grinned. "She works in that place downtown, too, the Fallen Angel. Lots of lovelies to see there." He chuckled, then turned to Eli.<br/><br/>"So," Martin said, quietly to Eli. He was aiming for that sort of conspiratorial tone which two chums might have. "You know her. What do you think my chances are? Any tips?"<br/><br/>Gwen, meanwhile, had made a decision. It was one based entirely on her emotions and, although he wasn't there or aware of it, it seemed that fate had some funny ideas and Eli would come to know of it. Not, however, until the end of the evening.  As he was walking out of the College at the end of his class, through the front reception, a fellow tutor (he'd seen her on the orientation) stopped him. "Hey, Mr.. Primeau?" She sounded unsure, they'd met once after all. "I'm Roberta Smith, I met you at orientation?" Mrs Smith was in her fifties, but she looked a good ten years younger and obviously took care of her appearance. She had, in her hands, a laptop bag and four books piled on it. Three of them were books Eli might recognise from bumping into Gwen a few weeks before, but probably not. However, the top book was her note-book and that was one made in the same manner as the one she'd made for Rosalie. Plus, of course, it had "Gwen Whitmore" written on it. Mrs Smith continued speaking.<br/><br/>"I've had a student leave during the break. Had some kind of situation and needed to just leave. She's left her things here, she didn't come back up to the classroom. One of the other students offered to take them, but I didn't think I should let him. But reception is closed," it was, "and I don't really know what to do with these. I don't remember any policy about giving out student addresses to other students, do you?" Evidently, she had no intention of taking responsibility for them herself and she gestured to a small group of students, Martin and two others, who seemed to be waiting for Mrs Smith to decide.