Instead of doing anything to encourage Blue's unusual behavior, Eivind pulled away, and it was this simple physical rejection that made the young man stare down at Eivind with watery, confused eyes. Eivind never rejected him. Ever. It was never an option to be considered, but he did so now and looked up at him, asking what this strange display was, what was all this supposed to mean,<i>what was he supposed to do? </i>Blue realized he didn't know. He didn't have the answers. All he knew was that he felt embittered and angry. He felt like someone needed to be punished for the way he was feeling, but that someone wasn't supposed to be Eivind. Eivind was a good wolf. Yes, he had made a mistake by scaring Blue, and the young man had somewhat of a right to feel angry about that, but that didn't mean Eivind deserved to be taken advantage of or disrespected, which was precisely what Blue was doing now.<br/><br/>He balked, letting his hands fall away from his lover's head, though one traced down the side of Eivind's face, down along the hard line of his jaw. Eivind's handsome jaw. "Oh god," Blue whispered, snatching his hand away and shoving himself back inside of his pants. "I'm so sorry, Eivind. I'm so fucking sorry. I don't know what I'm doing." He turned away from Eivind, still kneeling before him on the floor, and wiped at his eyes, inhaling a couple of shaky, unsteady breaths before he allowed words to spill from him again.<br/><br/>"You look... you look so different," he began, biting on his thumb as he turned around to look at his wolf, still beautiful, still his, still the same man. He had to keep telling himself that.<i>Still the same man</i>. "It's not bad. I think you're really cute, honestly. I just... you threw me off so much. I... still don't feel safe, Eivind. Not with anyone. Except you. And I guess for a while I just... I was mad because I felt like you had taken that away from me, and I wanted to get it back. I wanted to feel safe and I thought if I, you know,<i>controlled you</i>, I would feel it. But that was wrong. I was wrong."<br/><br/>Blue stepped back to Eivind and knelt down in front of him, equals once more. He leaned close and wrapped his arms around Eivind's powerful shoulders, shoulders that had hefted his weight more than once. "I guess I don't feel as well as I thought," he said, a sad smile on his face. He sniffled and wiped away a few more tears before returning his hand to Eivind's body, placing a palm on the wolf's chest so he could feel his strong, steady heartbeat. "I'm so sorry. You're not meant to be controlled. You're my boyfriend--my mate. My partner. I should have let you comfort me when you came to me the first time." The boy leaned in, pressing his lips to Eivind's, giving him the softest, gentlest of kisses. Blue missed the feel of Eivind's whiskers against his face, but this was nice too. He could taste the wolf, and smell him. He smelled like rain.<br/><br/>When he pulled away, he took a moment to stare into the wolf's eyes. Those hadn't changed. Those could never change. "Hold me?" he said. A request, not a command. He pulled Eivind even closer, tilting his head to the side and exposing his throat. His own appeasement. Blue had been a bad mate. He hoped Eivind would forgive him for his cruel transgressions.