Eivind wanted to leave Blue to his meal, alone, and follow after Synnove, but she was out so quickly that he didn't have time. Not before Eivind called his name, and the wolf knew he wasn't going to be able to simply deflect the conversation. Synnove had planted the seed that there was something he needed to know, and soon. And of course now Blue was curious, and more determined than ever. He didn't navigate the topic with anger like he'd done before, nor did he make demands. He'd likely come to the realization that Eivind was usually find ignoring him, but it was more difficult to do when Blue was speaking to him with emotion.<br/><br/>He flinched when Blue brought up the incident in the shower. He hoped it was over and done with. He'd admitted his wrong, but Blue was still bothered by it, and that was his right. Eivind was frowning, listening to Blue explain the feelings that had been going through his head when he'd taken more than he had been willing to give. Blue was trying to trust him, and Eivind wasn't making it easy.<br/><br/>“I know how it seemed. I was being thoughtless,” Eivind admitted. “I don't know why I expected you to react differently than you did. I should have known better, given what you'd been through.” When thinking more about it though, he did know why he expected Blue to react differently to him. They were to be a pair, and he expected that he could simply so as he pleased with his mate, and that he would be accepting. Blue admitted as much that he didn't trust him. He made it clear his behavior had been unacceptable, and that it might have broken their trust for good. What could Eivind say to really change that, except possibly come clean and explain himself? The other other option aside from that was to keep skirting the issue, in which case Blue would keep detaching himself.<br/><br/>Blue made it clear that just because Eivind cared for him, and tried to comfort him when he could, that it wasn't enough. Not to explain his actions, and why he was doing what he was doing. He could see more easily now how precarious things were for Blue. He didn't have that lifeline, nor that attachment and security in knowing what he was to Eivind. He didn't understand what Eivind would do in order to keep him safe, simply on instinct alone. He hadn't really understood the sort of turmoil he'd created for Blue by leaving him in the dark. He thought his assurances of safety were enough, but they meant nothing if Blue didn't trust him.<br/><br/>“Alright,” Eivind said finally, softly. “You have to hear me though, and listen before reacting. There's a lot more to it, and a lot I don't understand. I'm probably not the best person to explain it really..” What had he been waiting for though? If not him, than who was going to explain it? And did he really want it coming from someone else? “Eat, it'll give you something to do while you listen.”<br/><br/>Eivind took a seat on the bed, trying to understand where to begin.<br/><br/>“There are a lot of traditions we still uphold from the past, things that are probably never going to change for us. One of those things has to do with the way we pair up. Some of us pick and choose, and we decide who we spend out days with. For others, instinct makes the decision for them, and we are inexplicably drawn to someone in particular. They ponder it has something to do with our immunity that links us together for a certain purpose. It would make sense for a pairing like Sieger and Synnove. They are mated beyond a simple partnership. They are tied together by a much deeper rooted connection.” Eivind was looking as his hands when he spoke. He didn't want to see Blue's reaction to any of his words.<br/><br/>“It doesn't make sense why my body has picked you of all people to accept as my mate, but there's very little I can do it about it. It is best not to fight instincts, and I'm not sure that I would want to try. I don't know how it is for you. You're not driven in the same way we are, so I can't say what it's supposed to feel like on your part. I've only ever heard things of it being mutual, but I've heard very little about human wolf mated pairs. It would be my fate that it didn't work the same for humans.” Blue might not ever want anything to do with him, and that would probably steer him to madness.<br/><br/>“I made assumptions.. that you might simply accept me, and probably pushed my own emotions on you to interpret what you were feeling. I got a little out of control of myself, but I didn't want to make you feel that way. No one in their right might would want their mate frightened, or disgusted by them. It took very little time for me to figure it out after meeting you. That's why I behaved the way I did. That's why I killed Alden, and that's why you're here now.”<br/><span style="font-size: 15px"><span style="font-family:Open Sans"></span></span>