<i>'The first is always the hardest' </i>Carter knew what was hidden in the room now and wasn't about to follow Asa willing into it again. There wasn't going to be a next time as far as he was concerned. But he was still happy to have Asa for the whole day. Even if that meant studying the history of the dead.<br/><br/><i>'You know why. Those people have lived lives you can only imagine, and there are lessons to be learned from the dead. What are we without the past?'</i><br/><br/>"We're still alive... Their history finished when they died. History shouldn't be repeated, so why review it?" he still didn't understand it. Sure some of their lives were interesting, but he didn't like reading their adventures. It was like watching something on their television, it just filled him with a form of jealousy. Yes they were dead, but they'd been healthy and able to venture out into the big bad world. He hadn't managed to survive half a day in it...<br/><br/>But he was going to try to study tonight for a little. If Asa found out what he was studying, he could always argue that it was still history right? Journals were still a glance into some ones history, and he wanted to find out what Asa got up too. How many people had he killed? What else was he hiding? What had his guardian gone through to make him the way he was?<br/>His thought were mixed as his mind started to fall back into 'fantasy land' and when Asa spoke in a low honeyed whisper against his ear, the goose bumps quickly started to prickle along his skin. A shaky breath escaped him and his arms tightened slightly around his waist. "A-asa... I - I can't" he said quietly. But when his guardian started to voice the items he preferred, it seemed to give Carter the added boost he needed to continue. "They - experiment with different items, toys... to see what each enjoys more" he said keeping their chests together but parting his legs slightly as Asa's fingers started to wonder. "So long as they are both cared for and unharmed after each session" he said starting to gently trace the antler that was tattooed on Asa's rib.<br/><br/>Was this really going to happen? Was this finally it? Or was he really dreaming all this up? "Please... Is it just a fantasy? Or can it be an acted dream? They never get found. No harm ever comes of it. If he prefers rope, then he'll be granted with them. I'm sure the younger will grant him with anything just to have that moment with him".