<span style="font-family: 'Georgia'">Maybe things would've been different had Asa been honest from the beginning. Maybe Carter would have understood Asa's need to be away so much. But in the end no amount of maybes changed the facts. Given the chance and knowing what he now knew, Asa wouldn't change any of it. It was for Carter's own safety. And the boy's mention of it not mattering only proved Asa's point. How did he explain that it was so much worse that Carter had gone seeking answers all on his own? But he wasn't about to go into the intricacies of the council and the rule's most supernaturals accepted as law. Or the intrusive methods they had of extracting the truth. <br/>
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His shuttered gaze tracked Carter's movement as he inched closer, anger ebbing and losing its sharp edge as the other's fingers combed through his hair. If anything, his anger was at himself. Anger at the hold he allowed Carter to have over him; it was a weakness he couldn't shake, try as he might. Anger at himself for not having hidden his secrets better. Anger that he had to 'hide'.<br/>
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Carter's words drew a doleful smile from Asa, "I understand more than you know." Only he didn't have the peace of mind of knowing Carter would be okay. Given Asa's more unorthodox methods, Carter had lived much longer than most had predicted he would. But the risk of Carter dying from something mundane that had nothing to do with his illness was always a looming possibility. And knowing the universe and it's love of cosmic jokes, it was all too possible. He lived in a state of perpetual apprehension, knowing that one day he would lose Carter, and there was nothing he could do about to stop it.<br/>
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...There was one way. But he wasn't keen on the idea. Forcing Carter to live a life forever bound to the night and the insatiable thirst for blood. To force Carter to live through that just to sate his own selfish reasons. He couldn't do it to him. Carter's life was already well past the point of ever being a normal one. The least Asa could do was to let him keep his humanity.<br/>
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As much as he wanted it to, the anger didn't last. It never did with Carter. The betrayal still stung and would for some time, but the anger was muted. Because whether he admitted it aloud or not, he was guilty of doing just as Carter had. Letting his curiosity and need for answers get the better of him. Even if it ended up hurting others. The ends always justified the means. Until it didn't.<br/>
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Resigned to the fact the truth was now in the open, there really was no point in denying that he'd always kept a large part of himself hidden, carefully locked away. His discomfort was obvious, body tensed, closed off, even as he verbally agreed to let Carter in. "What do you want to know?" </span>