<u>Me:</u><br/><br/>Sampson blushed as well and lowered his hands into his lap. "I had guessed but I didn't want to bring it up." It warmed him inside to know that Ryan wanted that with him and he smiled again. However, it faded and he sighed. "Because I already remember all that he and I had." He shook his head. "But you're right, Ryan. I feel like I'd be setting myself up to be hurt." That's why I want to remember."<br/><br/>He looked at him. "But I want you more than I want to remember, because something happened and it hasn't been fixed. And maybe it should stay that way. I don't know." Sam looked down at his hands again. "I don't want to hurt anyone. That's not how I want to live my life. I just know I'm probably going to die in the line of duty and I don't want to hurt anyone doing that, either."<br/><br/>He rubbed the back of his neck. "So commitment hasn't really been on the forefront of my mind. However, since I stayed with you in the hospital I find myself wanting to try."<br/><br/><u>You:</u><br/><br/>There was a long pause before Ryan spoke again, "I could... ask him. Kane that is." he said with some reluctance. "I don't think interacting with him had helped you. It feels like everything has been made worse." even if the mark was better and some of the Sam's health issues weren't currently bothering him but who knew what reason for that was anyways? "He at least owes me that much." Ryan said looking down again wondering how much of this was because of Sam's desire to learn what happened. He didn't feel good right now and the general mood of everything had gotten him down a rare feat that was achieved.<br/><br/>He found himself shifting on the couch as the movie played the credits and he hadn't even watched the resolve. "I think I should probably head home." he said suddenly finding maybe this wasn't the best time and to think he had enjoyed the evening so much up to this point! But he had learned long ago that life was not fair and if Sam needed some time and distance, which that's what it sounded like to Ryan, the angel could certainly provide it. He moved to extract the cupcake as promised, not liking to go back on his word and he had brought it for Sam so he deposited it on the counter.<br/><br/><u>Me:</u><br/><br/>Sampson was confused to say the least. A lot was happening all at once and he didn't want Ryan to leave. "You're free to make your own choices," he said, moving to stand after Ryan had. "And you don't need to ask him to be with me." Sam really, badly needed to smoke. He carded a hand through his hair again and stepped closer to him.<br/><br/>"I want you Ryan. I want a lot with you, and I don't want you to go." He looked him in the eye. "But fuck what I want, because you're a very selfless person. Be selfish for once. What do you want?" He was almost desperate, but right now wasn't about him, and he wanted Ryan to see that. He needed him to see that, even if that meant Ryan leaving for the night.<br/><br/><u>You:</u><br/><br/>It was hard for Ryan to think about himself and the struggle was visible on his face. He was so used to putting his needs far behind everyone else's. His eyes met the man and he felt himself shudder a little because he knew what he wanted but reaching for it was a big step. He moved a little closer to Sam and he knew he might just get burned but he had never been this interested in someone before. "I want you." he admitted softly like a plea the distress on his face from all the effort of uttering those words before he swallowed.<br/><br/>Stepping closer again he kissed Sam, knowing he wanted to feel close and wash away all the bad feelings that felt like they were constantly lapping at their relationship. He didn't want this blossom to die before it had a chance to properly bloom, he wanted to just forgive and forget about Kane. "Promise me, swear to me, you won't sleep with him again." Ryan said softly knowing his heart wouldn't be able to take it if that was the case. Kane had taken away too much from his life already.