Eivind didn't say anything in response to Blue's repeated words, but that was how Blue liked it. He had said it (twice now), he admitted it, and the words were true, but that didn't necessarily mean that Blue was completely comfortable with the realization that he was committing himself to another person for the rest of his life. Though he wanted it, deep in his core, the idea was scary and overwhelming. The taste of Eivind's lips helped him forget about the weight of his words, the crushing feeling of the emotions that rested in his chest. Blue had never loved anyone before, not like this. His relationships had always been about lust, perhaps a vicious infatuation, but those always passed after a few months or so and Blue would waste no time in calling it quits so he could return to being alone, to his canvas and paper and brushes. Whenever he ended a relationship, Blue felt as if an anvil had been removed from his diaphragm, allowing him to breathe once more. He liked the feeling of unchaining himself from the responsibilities and obligations that came with attaching himself to another being. He didn't like feel tied down to any one individual. Commitment typically frightened him, encouraged his instinctual urge to flee from all perceived threats. But even in the darkness, his eyes worked well enough that he could see the look on his lover's face when he whispered his gentle words of affirmation. Eivind didn't smile often, but he was now, and all Blue could think as he caught a glimpse of the wolf's grin before he tugged him down was how beautiful Eivind looked when he smiled.<br/><br/>The wolf played curious when Blue mumbled about the surprise hidden in his pocket. Eivind's hand traveled in a flirtatious way, petting and stroking Blue's growing cock through his jeans and causing the young man to moan. When Eivind finally delved into Blue's pocket and pulled out the bottle of lubricant, another smile sprang onto the older man's face, and Blue couldn't stop himself from smiling back. "Maybe a bit of both," he suggested, dragging his hands down Eivind's hard biceps as he spoke. "I'm thinking we need stashes everywhere. Every room of the cabin, your truck, and one of us can carry around an 'emergency tube' at all times. You know, for when the mood strikes us." Blue was only half-kidding, chewing on his lip as he peered up at his mate. "As much as I enjoy playing 'find the lube' with you, I think being prepared ahead of time will do us well in the long run."<br/><br/>Eivind seemed to agree, and Blue was left breathing hard when his mate began licking at his navel and removing his pants. The wolf slid down Blue's jeans and underwear, tore off his footwear and set everything to the side. Blue reveled in the feeling of his lover's hands exploring his body, as if it was the first time. Somehow, despite coming to know one another better, each time with Eivind managed to feel like the first, only better. Their initial coupling had been momentous, but they had still be discovering one another, and Eivind had still been cautious. The wolf knew his human mate better now, and Blue knew how to tell Eivind what he wanted and how, and the wolf was a fantastic listener. He spread his legs wide as Eivind settled down between them, gasping as fingers were slipped into his vulnerable orifice. The soreness in Blue's backside had mostly faded, but even if he was still fully experiencing the shadows of pain left over from the savage fucking in Eivind's truck Blue would have asked his lover to mate with him now.<br/><br/>"Eivind," he moaned, closing his eyes and lifting his arms up beyond his head, arching his hips and grinding against his mate's hand. "I... I meant<i>everything</i>," he uttered, ignoring Eivind's question of whether what he was doing was okay or not. "I don't know if wolves get married, but humans do. If you asked me, I would. I don't... I don't expect anything, I just want you to know that I... I wasn't just saying that." Blue's confession was interrupted by breathy, sensual whines. His need for his mate was growing stronger, more desperate, and he was sure his lover would be able to smell his arousal, heady and thick. The thought of getting married was even more terrifying to Blue than simply admitting his deep affection for Eivind, but he was beginning to feel acquainted with his fears, and he knew that as long as Eivind was confident in their relationship, he could be, too. A small stew of guilt had been brewing in Blue's gut at knowing that Eivind had apparently loved him for longer than Blue could have anticipated. Though Eivind just seemed ecstatic to know that his feelings for his young lover were reciprocated, Blue had a sinking suspicion that he was somehow not giving enough to his mate. Feeling enough, saying enough,<i>being</i>enough.<br/><br/>What could he do, other than attempt to convey to his mate that he was willing to do whatever Eivind wanted and hope that the wolf didn't change his mind? Part of him wanted to tell the wolf he loved him again, but he didn't want to wear out the words lest they lose their potency. Instead, Blue just breathed deeply, ready to give himself over to Eivind, hoping the wolf could feel it in the way Blue rocked against him, the way his muscles clenched down on the older man's fingers. "I feel better," he offered, knowing his mate wouldn't commence with intercourse unless he was absolutely sure it was what he wanted.