Drake had to really think about it as they were getting into deeper territory and he settled in the car, "What did I want? Hard to say. I didn't want this but I suppose my days were numbered then because I was just trying to outrun my past. I suppose I wanted to know who I was and where I came from. I found that... and then I wanted to find a place I belonged." His mind filled in that it had been more like someone to belong with, "But that didn't work out. I think it did change me since time stops feeling urgent things start to feel less valuable. Makes you a bit more bitter somehow knowing you won't kick it off this orb in a natural fashion. Also made me paranoid about going into bloodlust with what it does to vampires." he had been looking for a way to revert his state of being but so far there was nothing.<br/><br/>"But I wouldn't feel too sorry for myself, my life while more lonely now is better than it was before. I had... a whole boat load of issues I expected to kill me first and far too many things to outrun. Dying fixed that but created it's own problems but maybe that's all part of the journey." There were lots of times he hated what he was and had happened to him but what had he been doing before? Pickling his liver and trying to forget the rest of his life? It wasn't exactly productive. He wondered if he would ever have any big hopes and dreams but he had been hurt so bad in the last round of his relationship and so mangled by life events that living within these constructed rules felt safer. "I think I used to be happier. More easy... less thinking about tomorrow but maybe that's just being younger for you." he added with a smile, "There might be a point I won't even remember what that was like and I can't wrap my head around it still." he admitted shaking his head.<br/><br/>"So what are you going to tell your hunter fam when they show up and see you with a blood sucker? I somehow doubt they would be so understanding. I had run ins  with hunters in my last life and if there was one thing they hated was creatures like me." He recalled being thankful he was human at the time and not their target as they almost seemed to live on a mission of destruction. He remember finding it almost ironic since they were as single minded about hunting vampires as they claimed vampires were about hunting humans. "Maybe that's why I turned out so different. I knew the rule book before I was turned so I knew I didn't need some daddy Master to hold my hand through it."