“What did you expect?” Ardnt question. The priest had told him to tell him whatever he wanted and had encouraged him to confess some of his sins. He had done so but he'd apparently offended the holy man's sensibilities. Admittedly he'd not chosen his words very carefully but he'd<i>warned</i>this fellow that he was far from the type most would care to try and redeem. Luitwin called it complacency now.<br/><br/>“I'm just trying to be realistic,” Ardnt said with a frown. All of this was starting to sound like a great deal of work on his part and then Luitwin was explaining everything more clearly. He'd be staying with the man, like some rabid dog he was vouching for but apparently only so long as he was vouching for him. He explained what would happen if he was relinquished to the court and Ardnt held the eye contact. Sanctuary didn't sound all that appealing either only that his other greatest option was execution.<br/><br/>“I could fall at your feet instead. Beg for you to believe that I am serious but I'm being upfront with you. I'm not bullshitting you or trying to feed you the nonsense you want to hear. This is who I've been for too fucking long to put on some grand act. I'd like to change in some ways. I've told you that I've tried and failed before and I wasn't even that critical of myself,” Ardnt went on, not enjoying the threat he heard in the man's voice; that Ardnt better be properly devoted before they reached land. Truly, Ardnt was trying not to play the man but if pushed he wouldn't be above it. He was glad for the change of topic since it was starting to get a bit uncomfortable.<br/><br/>“My father was a soldier. I was raised to be a soldier and I joined our forces when I big enough to hold my own. He didn't want me going in too early but he'd already taught me a lot and the rest of it came naturally enough. I wasn't particularly ambitious. I knew my place within my society. There, with the eye of god turned away from us, men did what they needed to do to sleep at night. Nothing wrong with two men together as far as Alriah is concerned. I mean, looks better if you're the fellow sticking it in someone, rather than the other way around. Reputation and upholding images. More a release of frustration. Fights were just as common too, though after most could sit down and have a drink together. Same thing. Just getting the negative out.<br/><br/>“The battles were with the tribes that were established in some of the more inland locations. I grew up in the mountains. Nothing about it was really ideal. One thing with the military is they make sure you get fed up proper. They want their armies strong so they aren't afraid to pour in a lot of resources. It has its appeal along with the glory and power that came with it all. Like I said, we got certain privileges. Alriah is very patriotic and folks only ever saw the good we did for the country.” Not what they did with prisoners, or even one another at times.<br/><br/>“That was all a long time ago. I've been in Herzland a while now, mostly keeping to myself. This was unusual circumstances this last time. Generally, I do things on my own. Was supposed to just be cutting someone out of the deal. He'd been tipped off. Someone knew it would be the end of one of us. Hoped maybe it would be both. Too cowardly to kill me outright so dropped me in a boat and hoped something else would do it. You want to help me at all you won't take me back to Herzland. He won't be happy to see my face again.”