Alex sat on the floor in the shower with the water beating over his head and his hands covering his ears.  He heard the thumping, more felt it.  Alex thought maybe that he heard his name.  He didn’t care about the paperwork.  He wished he could have gone anywhere but there, but he was trapped with no way out.<br/><br/>What would he have done any way? Alex knew he didn’t have a clue and he wouldn’t be able to take care of himself without help.  Then he thought about leaving Andreas and he didn’t want to.<br/><br/>Alex didn’t want to believe that his father was right.  That he was just being used, used for pleasure, used to get at his father. Was he whore like his father said? He had fallen head over heals for the first pretty thing that was truly nice to him.  He blushed and cried when he remembered how beautiful the night before was. So much sweetness and tender ... love?<br/><br/>Was it love? He didn’t even know and it made him fist his hands in his hair and pull at it.  He wanted to scream and cry and sleep, but he did nothing other than shake on the tub floor.  His tears blurred with the water rolling over His body. The hot water made his skin turn bright red everywhere it touched.<br/><br/>He was not going to open that door for anything.  And his internal tormoil kept him from hearing the begging at the door.	Murdered his mother?  Used him to get him to take out his father. And he got money for it.  Someone paid  the devil to use him!   He broke down.