Fun is, in fact, a word heard far more frequently in families today than in the past, when "duty'' and "responsibility" were often the words used. Parents today are more youthful in appearance and attitudes. Their clothes and hair-styles are more casual, helping to bridge the divide. Those who are athletically inclined also enjoy Rollerblading, snowboarding, and rock-climbing with their children. For the past three years, Kathy and Phil Dalby have spent at least one evening a week at a climbing gym with their three children. "It's great to be able to work together," Mrs Dalby says. "We discuss various climbs and where the hard parts are. Sometimes that leads to other Conversations. We're definitely closer." A popular movement of parent effectiveness training in the 1970s has helped to reshape generational roles. The philosophy encourages children to describe their feelings about various situations. As a result, says Robert Billingham, a family-studies professor at Indiana University, "Parents and children began talking to each other in ways they had not before." On the plus side, he adds, these conversations made parents realize that children may have important thoughts or feelings that adults need to be aware of. But Professor Billingham also sees a downside: Many parents started making decisions based on what their child wanted. "The power shifted to children. Parents said, 'I have to focus on making my child happy', as opposed to 'I have to act as a parent most appropriately'." Other changes are occurring as the ranks of working mothers grow.  Time-short parents encourage children's independence, making them more responsible for themselves. "They'll say, 'We trust you to make the right decisions' (whether they're ready to assume the responsibility or not) ,"says Billingham. The self-esteem movement of the past quarter-century has also affected the family dynamics  . Some parents worry that if they tell their child no, it will hurt the child's self-esteem. What's Billingham's attitude towards parents who make children more responsible for themselves?
He supports them. He admires them. He disagrees with them. He thinks they're unreasonable.