Herbie Ricketts,52,lives in Thornton Heath,south London,and works as an electrician.He has been a listening volunteer with the Samaritans for 16 years. Each caller is as individual as their circumstances and I didn't realize so many people take their own lives until I became a Samaritan. _  I'll always remember my first day on duty.The caller, stressed and depressed,told me he was suicidal .He'd been too frightened to talk to the people around him,which is common.People are told they've got nothing to be upset about.Or, if they are already classified as having mental health issues,so they tell no one.How do you make sense of your feelings if you can't tell someone? Just allowing people to say what they honestly feel helps them find a different perspective.I couldn't offer him practical advice but I could support him emotionally.I helped him come to terms with his situation and make sense of some of the terrible emotions he was experiencing.Offering anonymity and being nonjudgmental allows people easily hurt to explore their thoughts without fear or worry.I left him in an emotionally safe place,ensuring he knew 1 wasn't rejecting or abandoning him.I let him know we were still there if he needed us,explaining that it might not be me on the other end of the phone but another Samaritan who could also support. Suicidal people will ring with issues like drug use or loneliness.If you look at it from the perspective of, "How can I solve this? "you can become,like them,at a loss.Every cell in your body wants to offer solutions,but as a Samaritan I'm not there to sort their problems out.I listen and will support them when they can't see any further than tomorrow.When the phone goes silent,we stay with that caller as long as we possibly can,which could be two or three hours. The shifts are up to four hours long.When it doesn't go so well,I offload to my colleague,so I don't carry home a heavy heart.Being a Samaritan has greatly improved my life.I'm calmer and become a supportive listener, which has also improved my relationships.But being a wonderful Samaritan doesn't make you a wonderful parent or wonderful partner--I wish it did. Samaritans usually help callers by  _  .
sorting out their problems providing practical advice for them offering them emotional support asking questions such as"How can I solve this? "