Many women write to me perplexed about why they can't form close friendships. They try new approaches, put themselves in all the right places, see therapists, and read relevant self-help books. They consider themselves interesting, loyal, kind and friend-worthy people. But for reasons unknown to them, they have a tough time forming intimate relationships. Many admit to not having even one close friend. A recent study published in the offers some clues as to how both nature (personality) and nurture (experience) impact our friendships. Researchers at the University of Virginia and University of Toronto, Mississauga studied more than 7,000 American adults between the ages of 20 and 75 over a period of ten years, looking at the number of times these adults moved during childhood. Their study, like prior ones, showed a link between residential mobility and adult well-being: The more times participants moved as children , the poorer the quality of their adult social relationships. But digging deeper, the researchers found that personality--specifically being introverted   or extroverted   -- could either intensify of buffer   the effect of moving to a new town or neighborhood during childhood. The negative impact of more moves during childhood was far greater for introverts compared to extroverts. "Moving a lot makes it difficult for people to maintain long-term close relationships," stated Dr. Shigehiro Oishi, the first author of the study, in a press release from the American Psychological Association, "This might not be a serious problem for outgoing people who can make friends quickly and easily. Less outgoing people have a harder time making new friends." Families often have to relocate -- across town, across the country, or across the globe. Yet, in many cases, their kids and young adolescents haven't yet built up a bank of friendships. So the conventional wisdom is to try to minimize moves for the sake of your child, whenever possible , and to move at the end of the academic year. In order for children to maintain long-term close relationships , parents    _    .
should not relocate their homes should relocate their homes within the town had better move at the end of school year had better move when their children couldn't build up a bank of friendships