There is an old Chinese tale about a woman whose only son died. Sadly, she went to the holy man and asked, "What magical things do you have to bring my son back to life?" Instead of sending her away or reasoning with her, he said to her, "Fetch me a mustard   seed from a home that has never known sadness. We will use it to drive the sadness out of your life." The woman happily went off at once in search of that magical mustard seed. She first came to a splendid house, knocked at the door and said, "I am looking for a home that has never known sadness. Is it such a place? It is very important to me." They told her "You've certainly come to the wrong place" and began to describe all the tragic things that had happened to them recently. The woman said to herself, "I have had misfortune of my own. Who is able to help these poor, unfortunate people?" She stayed to comfort them, and then went on in search of a home that had never known sadness. But wherever she went, she found one tale after another of sadness and misfortune. She became so involved in other people's sorrow that finally she forgot about her search for the magical mustard seed, never realizing that it had, in fact, driven the sadness out of her life. Instead of sending the woman away, the holy man  _  .
asked her to help him first tried to comfort her with kind words asked her to look for a thing that didn't exist at all tried to encourage her by talking with her