"It is high time someone explained to you about good manners. Yours are obvious by their absence and I feel sorry for you." These were the words that Carolyn Bourne e-mailed to her son's fiancee , Heidi Withers. The couple had just visited the Bourne family home in England. Within days, the e-mail was all over the Internet, and the subject of manners hit UK national news. Heidi, Mrs Bourne said, stayed in bed too late. She complained when she was hungry and was particular about food. She told rude jokes. Finally, she had never thanked Mrs Bourne for the weekend.  But it wasn't just Heidi's behavior that got people talking. Facebook groups started up about the e-mail. The one with the most members was called "Carolyn Bourne needs to learn some manners".  People said Mrs Bourne had been too direct. They thought she had been cruel when she told Heidi to go to "finishing school" -- a centre where badly-behaved young women used to be sent. Heidi's father wrote back to Mrs Bourne and called her a "snotty   Miss Fancy Pants" -- someone who thinks they are socially better than anyone else. Everyone agreed that there are rules of "good" and "bad" behavior. Everyone agreed that these rules had been broken. However, no one could agree what these rules were -- or whether Heidi or Mrs Bourne was in the wrong. So what does politeness really mean? Is there a secret to social etiquette  ? Shirley Schomaker runs a real-life finishing school. She said that both Mrs Bourne and Heidi had been impolite. The true secret, she said in a BBC interview, lies in making everyone feel comfortable. "Social etiquette isn't about being snotty and being in the know  ," she said. "It's about making other people feel good. It's about communication. It's about making society get along better." According to the article, a finishing school is   _  .
a place to make people feel comfortable a school teaching Internet social networking skills where young women who behaved badly were once sent where students should finish all courses before graduation