Twice in the past few days, I've witnessed families arguing to the point of having major 'falling outs' (when you get so angry with each other that there is threat of withdrawing love from a family member and/or abandoning the relationship). Last night, one of those situations occurred and a friend contacted me on QQ and asked my advice. Their situation arose where a son-in-law had disagreements with his wife and then got into a quarrel with his mother-in-law and father-in-law. In the end, the son-in-law threatened to cut off all relationship with his in laws and also to deny his in laws a relationship with his own daughter, their granddaughter. Not only did the son-in-law threaten his wife's parents, but he has followed through with his threat and hasn't allowed his wife or his child to have any contact with his wife's parents in almost a year. The first question my friend asked me was, "Michael, what do you do when you get into a quarrel with your family?" I said, "I don't know." They said, "Well what about when you quarrel with your mother or one of your siblings (brother or sister)?" I said, "I don't know." He said, "Well, what would you do if you got into an argument with your in laws when you were married?" I said, "I don't know." He said, "What do you mean that you don't know?" I said, "Well, I never got into a quarrel with my in-laws, my mother or my siblings." He said, "Be serious, Michael. I need some help with this situation." I said, "I am serious. I never quarreled with mother, brother, sister, father-in-law, mother-in-law or brother-in-law. At least not in my adult life (since I turned 18 years old)." My friend found it hard to believe that I never did any of these things. I suppose (I really don't know; Ha!) that many people wouldn't believe that an entire family could maintain a such a level of peace, harmony, respect and love. The truth is, my family doesn't do those things. You may wonder 'why' we don't do that. Well, I never really thought about 'why' we don't do that. But I do know, we don't. So, I did the most logical thing I could think of. I asked my mother 'why' we don't quarrel, argue, fight and have such situations. Some people believe that if you don't argue, quarrel and fight, then, you don't care enough. I would say that my family cares very deeply for each other and love each other and express our love to each other, very often. We don't believe that you have to quarrel, argue and fight in order to show that you care and that you love the other. Instead, we show that we love, care and respect each other by, well, loving, caring and respecting each other. How do the members in the writer's family live in harmonious?
by quarrelling with each other. by showing love, care and respect to each other. by living together with each other. by giving gifts to each other.