CHICAGO ---Call it a reward, or just "bribery ". Whichever it is, many parents today readily admit to buying off their children, who getgoodies  for anything from behaving in a restaurant to sleeping all night in their own beds. That's what worries parenting experts. "I think that reward systems have a time and a place and work really well in certain situations," says Marcy Safyer, director of the Adelphi University Institute for Parenting. "But what often gets lost for people is being able to figure out how to communicate to their kids that doing the thing is rewarding enough," Safyer says. Parents and experts alike agree that thedynamic  is partly a reflection of the world we live in. It's unrealistic to think a parent wouldn't reward their children with material things sometimes, says Robin Lanzi, a clinical psychologist and mother of four who's the research director at the Center on Health and Education at Georgetown University. "But you want to make sure that they match the behavior, so it's not something huge for something small," Lanzi says. She recalls hearing about a father who offered his child a Nintendo Wii game system for scoring a couple goals in a soccer game. Elizabeth Powell, a mother of two young daughters in Austin, Texas, knows what she means. "You want to raise them in a way that they're respectful and appreciate things," Powell says of her children. "But sometimes, you wonder now if kids appreciate even a new pair of shoes. " What Safyer says suggests that   _   .
reward systems are quite limited in developing abilities reward systems work well  regardless of  time and place reward systems are still not made full use of to develop abilities reward systems are often used at the wrong time and place