Some American parents might think their children need better education to compete with China and other countries' children. But how much do the parents themselves need to change? A new book Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother written by Amy Chua has caused a debate about cultural differences in parenting. Ms. Chua is a professor at the Yale Law School in New Haven, Connecticut, and a mother of two daughters. She was raised in America by immigrant Chinese parents. In her book, Ms. Chua wrote about how she demanded excellence from her daughters. For example, she threatened to burn her daughter's dolls unless she played a piece of music perfectly. She would scold her daughters if they failed to meet her expectations. Ms. Chua had a clear list of what her daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were not permitted to do: "Attend a sleepover, have a play date, watch TV or play computer games, be in a school play, get any grade less than an A." Many people criticize Amy Chua, saying her parenting methods were cruel and violent. She even admits that her husband, who is not Chinese, sometimes objected to her parenting style. But she says that is the way her parents raised her and her three sisters. Ms. Chua says she eased some of the pressure after her younger daughter _ and shouted "I hate my life! I hate you!" But she also says American parents often have low expectations of their children's abilities. Amy Chua thinks one of the biggest differences between Western and Chinese parents is that Chinese parents take on strength rather than fragility." Stacy DeBroff, who has written four books on parenting, says: "Parents should rethink, what does it mean to be a successful parent and what does it mean to be a successful child?" She says Amy Chua's parenting style is not limited to Chinese families. It represents a traditional way of parenting among immigrants seeking a better future for their children. But she also sees a risk. When children have no time to be social or to follow their own interests, they might not develop other skills that they need to succeed in life. Stacey DeBroff advises parents to develop their own style of parenting and not just repeat the way they were raised. What is Stacy DeBroff's warning to immigrant parents?
Don't expect too much from their children. Don't allow them to communicate with others. Don't give them freedom to do what they want to. Don't bring up their children as their parents did.