Parents often believe that they have a good relationship with their teenagers  . But last summer , Joanna and Henry noticed a change in their older son : suddenly he seemed to be talking far more to his friends than to his parents . " The door to his room is always shut ." Joanna  noticed . Tina and Mark noticed similar changes in their 14-year-old  daughter . "She used to cuddle up  with me on the sofa and talk ," said Mark . "Now we joke that she does this only when she wants something . Sometimes she wants to be treated like a little girl and sometimes like a young lady . The problem is figuring out which time is which ." Before age 11, children like to tell their parents what's on their minds . "In fact , parents are first on the list ." said Michael Riera, author of Uncommon Sense for Parents with Teenagers . "This completely changes during the teen years ." Riera explained . "They talk to their friends first , then maybe their teachers , and their parents last ." Parents who know what's going on in their teenagers' lives are in the best position to help them . To break down the wall of silence , parents should create chances to understand what their children want to say , and try to find ways to talk and write to them . And they must give their children a mental break , for children also need freedom , though young . Another thing parents should remember is that to be a friend , not a manager , with their children is a better way to know them . What can be learned from the passage ?
Parents are unhappy with their growing children . Parents have suitable ways to talk with their teenagers . Parents should be patients with their silent teenagers . Parents should try to understand their teenagers .