Most people don't notice I'm polite, which is the point. I am big and look less energetic. Still, every year or so, someone takes me aside and says, "You actually are polite, aren't you?" I'm always thrilled. They noticed. That's the thing. Actually, when we talk about politeness, we usually think of please; thank you; I like your hat; etc. All we need to do is to hear, not to notice. When I was in high school, I read etiquette manuals . No one noticed my politeness except for one kid. He yelled at me about _ . "It's strange that you are always so polite," he said. I took that as praise and made a note to hide my politeness further. Real politeness, I believed, was invisible . It adapted itself to the situation. Politeness leaves door open. I've met so many people whom, if I had trusted my first impressions, I would never have wanted to meet again. Yet many of them are now great friends. One of those people is my wife. On our first date, she told me in detail that she had an operation to remove a cyst  from her body. Of course, it killed the chemistry. But when I walked her home, I told her I'd had a great time. We talked a little after that. I kept everything pleasant and brief. Much later, I learned that she'd been having a very bad day in a very bad year. People silently suffer from all kinds of terrible things. The good thing about politeness is you can regard these people exactly the same and wait to see what happens. You don't have to have an opinion. You don't need to make a judgment. Last week, my two-year-old son, Abraham met a foreign woman in the playground. Out of curiosity, I suppose, he asked, "What's your name?" The woman told him. Then he put out his little hand and said, "Nice to meet you!" Everyone laughed and he smiled. He shared with his firmest handshake, like I taught him. Why do many people think the author is impolite?
Because he doesn't look polite. Because he seldom says polite words. Because he doesn't listen to others politely. Because he doesn't behave politely towards strangers.