There are two great trends on parents bringing up children today.First,children are now praised to an unbelievable degree.As Dorothy Parker once joked,American children aren't raised;they are motivated.Children are constantly told how special they are.The second is that children are honed to an unimaginable degree.Parents spend much more time than in past generations on their children's development. These two great trends--greater praise and greater honing--combine in close ways. Parents shower their kids with affection ,but it is intermingled with the desire to help their children achieve success.Parents are happy when their child studies hard,practices hard,wins first place,gets into a famous college. The wolf of conditional 1ove is hidden in these homes.The parents feel they love their children in all circumstances.But the children often think differently.They feel that childhood is a performance--on the athletic field,in school and beyond.The shadowy presence of conditional love produces a fear,the fear that there is no completely safe love. Meanwhile,children who are uncertain of their parents'love develop a great hunger for it. This conditional love is1ike an acid that affects children's criteria to make their own decisions about their own colleges,majors and careers.At key decision-points,they unconsciously imagine how their parents will react. These children tell their parents those things that will bring praise and hide the parts of their lives that won't.  Studies suggest that children who receive conditional love often do better in the short run.They can be model students.But they suffer in the long run.They come to hate their parents.They are so influenced by fear that they become afraid of risk. Parents today are less likely to demand obedience with explicit rules and lectures.But they are more likely to use love as a tool to exercise contro1.But parental love is supposed to ignore achievement. It's meant to be an unconditional support -a gift that can not be bought and cannot be earned. According to Dorothy Parker,American children  _  .
need more concern Grow better under pressure have unimaginable potential receive much praise and encouragement