DEAR Daughter, We have not seen you for a while now, so I thought we might check in. Did you fall off the edge of the Earth? Your mother worries, you know, and I am just curious. Well, I am more than curious. I feel abandoned. Apparently you've dumped us for your career. I can understand that, because you've always had a wonderful work ethic  . Look, obviously your long absence has confused us. As we go about our daily routines, your mother and I are distracted - both by your absence and our pride in your career. The other day, I entered my work password into the microwave, then stood there cursing it for not working. And I was so off my game   that I actually used that cholesterol-free mayo   your mother insisted on buying in an effort to drive me from the house. Listen, a lot has happened since you've been away. Abraham Lincoln was shot. We had two more children - a princess, now 23; a boy, now 12. Yesterday I bought a very clean 2001 Camaro car from an older woman. Your mother is not happy about this. She says it is the kind of muscle car driven by ex-convicts   when they examine your house at 2 am. In response, I tell her it was the car of my dreams (when I was 18). So that's where your long absence has left us. Your long absence is not so bad, though we miss your roaring laughter ... the way your cheeks flush   when you eat Thai food. How you always march too hard into the house, like a Scotsman stepping on snakes. Each evening, your mother now waits by the window the way she did when you used to step off the bus in first grade, your hair full of rubber bands. Bet that drove you crazy even then, her running out on the porch   like you'd just returned from a month-long journey to the moon. Look, parents are not easy people. But should the urge ever hit you, feel free to stop by some time. Our house is your house. Our hearts are yours too. And your mother is still waiting by the window. Love, Dad From the article, we can conclude that the author is   _  .
humorous inspiring serious patient