Some couples spend every waking minute together. Others fill their hours with personal hobbies,outside interests and even part-time jobs, just to keep their distance from each other! "There should be private time and couple time," suggests Dr. Stephen Treat at Jefferson Medical College in Philadelphia."You don't want your latter years to turn into a process where two people unite as one. If you hold too tightly to your partner, it's going to cause resentment and anger. If you're completely separate, you'll both be lonely and disconnected. You need balance. So you have to talk about how you'll achieve that." The right balance? It's different for every couple. "Having a conversation about time can be difficult,but it's important for both partners to process those feelings out loud," Dr. Treat says. "You should not be accusing and act as a judge--ask the difficult questions, but do it in a loving way. You could say something like, 'How are we going to be as individuals and how are we going to be as a couple?' " Barbara and Chris Christensen have achieved the balance that works for them. In addition to daily routines that keep them close--including about 10 minutes for a daily check-in and about a half hour of relaxation time--they each maintain separate interests and friendships. "We have found that we need time apart," Barbara says. "I have a group of women friends that I have known for the last 30 years. We have dinner out once a month. We women also have parties and weekend or weeklong vacations as a group at a beach or somewhere. Chris, a former fighter pilot, has many aviation-oriented  groups and friends and also a poker-playing group of our friends. I may be with him during the poker night, but I don't play, and the wives usually watch a chick flick' DVD or something while the poker group has an evening of fun. We have found it important to have separate time as well as together time." The author writes the passage to   _  .
offer some suggestions on how to spend the time after retirement advise couples to develop their separate hobbies warn couples not to be accusing each other give people some advice on how to entertain themselves after retirement