Our neighbor's son was getting married at an out-of-town church, and my husband and I were invited. We were very glad to get the invitation and immediately rushed out to a store, and I bought a nice pink dress with a jacket. The dress was a little tight, but I had a month to go before the June 30 wedding and I believed it would be easy for me to lose a few pounds.               June 29 came and, of course, I hadn't lost a single pound; in fact I had gained two. But I figured a nice new girdle   would cure everything. So on our way out of the city we stopped once again at the store. I ran in and told the clerk I needed a large-size girdle. The shop assistant found the box with the described girdle marked "LG", and asked if I would like to try it on. "Oh, no, a large will fit just right. I needn't try it on."               The next morning was rather hot, so I waited to get dressed until about 45 minutes before time to go. I opened the box only to find a new girdle in a small size. Since it was too late to find another one and the dress wouldn't fit right without a girdle, a fight broke out in the hotel room between me and the girdle. Have you ever tried to shake 20 pounds of potatoes into a five-pound bag? That's it. Finally my husband, laughing like crazy, got hold of each side and shook me down into it. At last I put on the pink dress, which didn't match my red face well, and was ready to go.               Finally we got to the church. I heard one of the people say that they were having a High Mass  . I turned to my husband and asked, "What is a High Mass?" He shrugged his shoulders.               Unfortunately, I learned that this particular mass would last one hour, twenty-two minutes and eight and one half seconds --- the priest   was going to bless everything except my girdle. What had the writer intended to do with the tight dress at first?
To make herself thinner. To buy a large-size girdle. To put on some weight. To shake herself into it.