I know it is wrong to envy your children. But when I see my son, Tonio and his younger brother Sam going down a slide together, one's arm around the other, I know I have missed something wonderful. Not only did I never have a brother, but also I had no friendships like theirs. My sister was old enough to help take care of me, so she was more a mother than a playmate, and I was more a _ than a friend. A brother would have been wonderful, but it was not in the family planning. Now I finally live with brothers, my sons, Tonio and Sam. I am watching them build the kind of relationship that I once dreamed about. They go to bed together. When one comes into our bed after a nightmare, my wife and I know that before morning his brother will follow. Sam manages the world with more ease than his elder brother, whose frustrations often bring him to tears. With a sincere "Smile, Tonio," Sam is the one who comforts him. Tonio, on the other hand, has stopped playing with boys at his age who don't like playing with Sam. They are always backing each other up. I don't know what kind of relationship they will have when they grow up. Parents always want their children to have what they never could. I want them to have each other. So I imagine them going to the same college, marrying sisters and living on the same block. That's why I was so worried the day Tonio started kindergarten. I felt that I would lose something too. As we headed for school that morning, both boys seemed relaxed, as if neither had any idea that the day was going to be different, that starting then, Tonio would be leaving behind his brother, his best friend, his right arm. Tonio's first day was chaotic, with hundreds of children outside looking for their teachers. Before any of us could say goodbye, Tonio disappeared with his new classmates. He turned to wave and then was gone. It was so sudden. Sam even didn' t see him go. Although parents had been asked to ease the craziness of the first day by statying out of the school, I lifted Sam up and took him to Tonio's classroom, looking for a glimpse of Tonio. Sam spotted him first. My wife and I didn't head back home immediately, stopping instead at a coffee shop to treat Sam to hot chocolate. We even let him eat ice-cream with his fingers. Sam was still quiet, so I asked him if he missed his brother already. He didn't answer. Instead he asked, "Daddy, is Tonio going to be gone forever?" "No, Sammy," I said, feeling happy about his sweet question. "Not forever, just until three o'clock." I sometimes think that the greatest thing I have ever done is to help create these brothers. And I didn't stop with them. We had another child, and for the third time in a row, it was a boy. It wasn't long before his brothers climbed into the crib  to play with him. I am surrounded by brothers. What can we learn about the two little brothers?
Tonio often encouraged Sam when Sam burst into tears. The two brothers went to the same kindergarten. Neither of the brothers played with other children. They supported each other in different ways.