 Hey, I'm millennial content creator Casey Newton. And I'm local vape bro, Nilay Patel. And we're here at CES Unveiled 2016. Nilay, this is where it all starts. This is the first thing, it's the biggest thing on the first day. All the press lands, rushes into Vegas, comes here, gets donked on ice luge cocktails, and then plays with toys, and it's amazing. So Casey, this is a $795 laser headband that will grow your hair for you using 82 lasers in three banks. So what Nilay's gonna do now is he's gonna put on this laser headband and it may spare him from the utter devastation of male pattern baldness. This is the most Darth Vader shit I've ever done. But if this can help my already lustrous hair. So every 30 seconds it vibrates, Casey. That is such a good look on you. And then you just move it back along your head. I'm told this device is FDA approved, FDA cleared. So you can eat it. And tell us about your dog here. This is Chip. Chip's our latest robot. Wow. So any control with this watch? Yeah, it's basically something you wear. Can I wear this watch? Let me get rid of this garbage. Does anybody need an Apple watch for cheap? So this is the watch, far superior to the Apple watch I believe, because this one controls a robot dog. Yeah, direct comparison. It can control a robot dog, cannot control a robot dog. Wait, so this one just listens for beeps and then beeps your phone. It's like a beep extender. It's a beep extender. So does it know what kind of beeps the beeps are? So what if I have like three LG devices that all sing different songs? Yeah, even better. Will it name the tune? Have you thought about Shazam integration? Every year the technology is different, but one thing remains the same and that's the CES Ice Luge and this mysterious blue beverage that comes out of it to the future. Every year full of regret. That is not a good drink. So Casey, this is a sculpt. So what you do is you just spray yourself. Just spray yourself with water. And then you put this on your body in various places and it tells you how out of shape you are. Just gently massage yourself and it will shame you for your choices. And then a map of your body will appear on your phone in 24 regions and tell you your muscle fat percentage. Just a map of despair. Your fat percentage and your muscle quality. So I'm just measuring your muscle quality all over. Technology used to be a way to justify sitting down for endless periods of time. Now it's trying to get you back up again. It's a horrible trend. Tell us about the tip of the weed. What's happening in there? The tip? Yeah, just the tip of the weed. First of all, it's the first six-year thermostat. And I respect that. That's my complaint about thermostats. They're not the same. They're not the same. They're not the same. They're not the same. They're not the same. They're not the same. They're not the same. They're not the same. They're not the same. They're not the same. They're not the same. They're not the same. They're the same. Now, this is pretty sexy enough. We gotta see the weed. You know, I've always been a big fan of the internet of things. Isn't it just a lot of hot air? Do you guys make clothes? No. No. We make a little wearable device. Okay. This is a Vert? That's a Vert unit. I'm holding a Vert in my hand. This is our. Alright. This is a very comfortable bed. I would sleep on this bed. Yeah. Now this will track my sleep. Casey, yeah. What? I have so many things. Well, Mila, what do you make of this year's CES unveil? I have to say, it's a little different. Last year, there was a lot of spectacle. This year, there's a lot of sensors that make you feel bad about yourself. My heart is about to explode. My muscles are inadequate. I'm sleeping all wrong. I can't play the piano. I mean, I just, honestly, everything here is designed to measure something about my life that sucks. Also, I don't have a machine communicating beam that is constantly sensing my temperature and adjusting my lifestyle. On the plus side, the ice leash, as much fun as it's ever been. It's crazy, it's overwhelming. Everything here is designed to make me emotional. I think it's gonna be an amazing week. But, Casey, there's something very important that we have to remind them. And that is to subscribe to our YouTube channel. Subscribe to The Verge on YouTube. There's gonna be so many videos from CES all week. Please check it out, and we'll see you soon.