 Welcome back to Kick Farted. Kick Farted is a series that we do on crowdfunded projects through Kickstarter, Indiegogo, or whatever other platform that ship, but don't exactly hit the mark. Today we're going to be looking at the Ampy Move, the world's first wearable motion charger. It's a portable smartphone battery that charges as you move. Yeah. Intel's Skull Canyon NUC features a 6th generation Core i7 processor and Thunderbolt 3. Learn more in the link in the video description. The Ampy Kickstarter was wildly successful. They raised $309,323. They were featured in a number of major publications as well. People got excited and I get it. They make you feel really good about wanting to buy one. They say stuff like, your movement is your power. Your movement is your power. Hell yeah it is. Ampy captures the energy from your movement throughout the day and uses it to power your phone and other wearables. They talk about the future, about how one day maybe their technology will be integrated into smartwatches and wearables so you never have to plug them in again. We're so excited about what's to come. One day our technology could be integrated directly into smartwatches, fitness trackers, and other crazy wearables that haven't been invented yet so you never have to plug them in. Damn, they're so cool. I love this stuff. And I mean like look at this. Right on the front of the box it says one hour of exercise equals five hours of smartphone battery life. And just within the front cover it says that this battery can charge one full smartphone charge. No asterisks. That's just what they're saying. They go on to state that people have a problem with their phones dying before the end of the day. We all have the same problem. Our phones would die before the end of the day. So many people have this problem. Oh my god I have that problem. Please take my money. And they did, which is why we're here today. Delivery wise they were okay. We received ours mostly on time with their website still being up and you can currently buy them on Amazon. That puts Stride Technologies Inc. ahead of a lot of other crowdfunded companies. But I must say, in response to a headline that someone from Buzzfeed copy pasted from another one of their articles, why has no one invented this before? Well Buzzfeed, here's the top three reasons why. One, it barely works. Two, they exaggerated its capabilities. And three, this is key, I would hardly classify this as an invention. Nothing in it is a new technology. And now if your attention span is so impressive that you can get beyond Buzzfeed, keep watching to learn more as we transition into the actual review section of this video. Well, it's a battery that charges with movement. So to begin, I gave it to three different people and told them to do three different things with it. Taryn biked around some city roads for a little bit and then did some various workouts in the gym with it. Nick Van Berkel took it with him on a BMX bike to a pump track. Both of these scenarios resulted in a net power generation of nothing, or at least nothing that I could measure by plugging it into my dead phone and measuring the resulting charge. Keep in mind, both of these guys doing both of these things did it for at least an hour. There's no way it's not charged at all. I was literally riding for an hour straight. It is not charging at all. So yeah, didn't work. Wonderful. Mahalo. I guess the little LED did light up. So there's that. But that's it. That seemed odd because if you hold it in your hand and, you know, like Jack it for a little while, it works. The little LED lights up and you can actually get some charge onto your phone if you can go long enough. We got a little flash. That was it. That's where Linus came in. I secretly hate him. So I sent him out for a jog for an entire hour with the specific instruction that he needed to keep a lot of bounce in his step in order to shake the amp. He came back exhausted, which was funny and covered in sweat, which was less funny when I had to actually take the amp from him. Then the LED light lit up. Hmm. I plugged into my phone and it started to charge. I genuinely got really excited here. Linus had to suffer and the amp was actually going to work. Now, OK, it's not all they claimed it would be. Neither of the previous benchmarks worked at all. If we had used the energy that it took to chill this water and pump it into this building for me to consume it all while I ran, I could charge a phone. I mean, there you go. But it's working now, right? Right? No, not really. A minute or two into charging, I still hadn't gained a single percent and it was starting to fail. My phone seemed confused as to whether or not it was charging. And just a few seconds after that, it was all over. If you live in a city, you probably walk enough to extend your phone's battery life by three hours. If you also go on a run or maybe go cycling, you can extend it by six hours. The more you move, the more power you get. So big surprise. It doesn't actually work. Now, let's address their claims. One hour of exercise equals five hours of smartphone battery life. Right? Well, if you flip the box over, it's a bit of a different story. Now it's stating five hours of standby battery life. But OK, OK. What about the power's one full smartphone thing? There can't be any clever wording there, right? It's based off an iPhone 5C of all things. The battery listed on the box is only 1600 milliamp hours. However, it does say on their website that it's 1800 milliamp hours. Whichever version of their statements you decide to believe, which at this point should probably be neither. It's just over or just under one half of my Pixel XL's maximum charge. That's pathetic. I mean, you can just charge it from the wall like any other freaking battery bank. But you shouldn't because it's a terrible battery bank with an embarrassing maximum charge for its size and weight. Take these two batteries, for instance, one from Anker and one from Chiro. This one is 6700 milliamp hours. This one is 6400 milliamp hours. If you put them together, they're actually just ever so slightly larger than the Ampy. Yet with a combined maximum charge of over seven times more at 13100 milliamp hours. Just buy a normal battery bank. So what happened to all that special tech that it took three engineering PhDs from Northwestern to develop? Let's find out by tearing the Ampy apart. Wait, so it's a magnet in an inductor. I mean, I'm not that great at physics, but you start learning this in grade like 11 or 12, don't you? Very impressive, guys. Very impressive. Now, I'm not saying that the principle of operation here can't be useful in certain situations. It's a very cool idea. Just the implementation is nasty and deplorable. As far as I can tell, they saw an advertisement on TV at like 2 a.m. advertising a flashlight that works when you shake it and had a sudden revelation of, oh, my God, if we just replace the capacitor that's in the end of there with a battery, we can store the charge longer. Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I love it. It's fantastic. Great idea. Speaking of brilliant, John suggested a wonderful Kickstarter idea to me. Let's install water wheels in toilets and urinals so people can charge their devices while they take a piss. We should start a Kickstarter. Anyways, shitty ideas aside, what's their future? Well, no news yet. And hopefully it stays that way for the sake of their potential future customers. Looking at the comments from their current ones on Kickstarter reveals an impressive and inspiring amount of anger. I speak for you. And again, just like last time, this product wasn't exactly just released, but they're still trying to sell it. So I thought I'd try to alert people before they try to flush their money down their toilet alongside their water wheel of power generation. Crunchyroll is a site that was created by anime fans for anime fans. And that means that they offer the most current episodes of new shows straight from Japan like Re Zero or Orange. They have a large collection of the most popular anime series like Naruto and Ace Attorney and all of their content on their site has been professionally subtitled. Head over to crunchyroll.com slash Linus and you can sign up for a 30 day free trial of Crunchyroll Premium. Your monthly premium will be ad free and you'll enjoy benefits like 1080p streaming, getting episodes of new shows straight from Japan within an hour of their premiere, and being able to stream anywhere, anytime from a variety of devices like your phone, tablet, game console, laptop, whatever. You can continue your premium membership to Crunchyroll for only $6.95 per month. So again, head over to crunchyroll.com slash Linus and check them out. If you guys liked this video, like it and do not buy an Ampie. If you disliked this video, go ahead, press the button. Hit subscribe so you can see more of our stuff later on and check out the description down below to see where you can buy stuff on Amazon like normal battery banks, which function very well and aren't an Ampie. Also, there should be a link to buy our shirts and check out our community forum where you can yell or talk or discuss various things. Thanks for watching. Check out this video, which is Kick Farted Episode 1, where I talk about a different horrible product. And I'll see you next time.