 Hey everybody, this week the new Michael Bay produced Ninja Turtles Movie is Hitting Theaters. We actually saw an early screening of it. So the question we've been asked a lot is, did Michael Bay ruin the Ninja Turtles? People seem to forget just how weird this franchise has been over the years. Really messed up franchise if you actually think about it. So let's actually kind of go back and look at the history of the Turtles franchise. 1984, almost 30 years ago, they had the first issue. And it was meant to be a parody of other comics at the time. Marvel's Daredevil, I think Frank Miller's Ronin was a big thing. And from there it just kind of took off. Right, though the origin story always seemed to stay the same. Four turtles get affected by a mutagen, grow up to be warriors, taught ninjitsu by their rat father. And then we have an animated series in 1987 that turns into a wildly popular success. Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell. Turtle power. It spawns a live action movie that turns into a trilogy. At the time it was everything you want, but looking back it definitely doesn't hold up. Do you remember that Vanilla Ice plays a key plot point at the end of the second film? Yo, it's the green machine, gonna rock the town without being seen. And then in the third they're samurais that time travel and it gets weird. But the weird stuff happens afterwards and they realize it's a franchise and we can put turtles everywhere. Pizza Hut has been a sponsor since the beginning and we have the Power Rangers crossover. What are those things? I can't believe it, but I think they're... It's the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. We've got, what was it, the Oprah thing? Right, yeah, we recently made the rounds on the internet, but this thing in 1994, 1995, the turtles were turned into this song producing quartet that toured the country and performed and ended up doing an episode of Oprah where they performed to a whole room full of kids. And it's just super weird. Once we got started, we knew that we could. We learned that music was fine in the core. There was a CGI film in 2007 that was well enough received, but instantly forgotten. And then another animated series in the late 2000s and even a TV movie that was probably the best thing that they had produced since the original series where all the different turtles from all the different animated series ended up working together cross dimensionally. We're actually kind of cutting to modern day here. 2012, the Nickelodeon cartoon, this is when the franchise and the toy line admittedly got much bigger. Come here, you cunt! Knock it off! Get off! Ow! Hey! Shh! Right, Nickelodeon bought the rights and actually turned out a really good product that's still going on now. Something that if you don't feel like looking back on the movies and kind of hating your past, you could actually enjoy. TV has always been a little different. Here, let's get back to the movies. And this is the first somewhat live action film produced by Michael Bay, so everyone was kind of afraid. We saw it. It's fun, but it's exactly what everything else is. It's a very dumb kind of film with so much product placement, so many explosions. Right, you could pick this thing apart in a lot of different ways if you wanted to, but this is a new live action movie for kids. This is what they're going to grow up thinking back on and maybe hating in 20 years, but it is good enough for them right now. And it's actually good enough. If you've been a fan of the series your whole life, it's worth seeing because it is in a lot of ways better than some of those original movies. Yeah, and here's the thing to keep in context. This movie, there is no weird cameo by like a Vanilla Ice equivalent at all, but they're planning a trilogy. There will be two more films at least, if not more. There's plenty of chances to have like some weird pop culture crossover, some turtles dance off, God knows what. If history has proven anything, they will find a way to make it even weirder. Let me ask you this. Do you sometimes wish that April was a turtle? Whoa, definitely. Conceptually, that works for me. You know, I've been... You know, I've been...