 Do you want to literally die? Buy an Android then. Seriously, that's the takeaway of today's Apple event. If you go to work, eat food, hike, drive a car, or ovulate without an Apple Watch Ultra and an iPhone 14, you are as good as dead. At least I'm pretty sure that's what Apple wanted to be the takeaway of their event today. Behind their appeals to worry wards and helicopter parents though, is some genuinely cool tech. And of course, a bunch of stuff that everyone else has had for years that Apple has slapped a new name on and called it revolutionary. So what tech here is actually a step forward? And what's just a shiny new label? Let's have a look at this segue to our sponsor. Cable Mod, Cable Mod's new keyboard cable configurator, say that five times fast, is the easy way to complete your keyboard look. Customize almost anything and receive your handmade cable in two weeks or less. Check it out at the link below. In past years, Apple has shied away from calling attention to the notch to the point where they got sued over it. But for the iPhone 14 Pro, the notch is on full display. Now it's pill shaped and Apple calls it the dynamic island. Around the front sensors, the pill expands to show you useful information while you're in other apps. Things like timers, music, sports scores, flight information, maps, navigation, and more can go up here. I will personally need to actually use it for a bit before I decide if it's a gimmick or not. But what I know now is that it still looks bad while watching full screen video. And it also pretty much guarantees that you're gonna have fingerprints all over your front facing camera every time you go to use it, which is too bad because the front facing camera now has autofocus, which is pretty sweet. As far as I can tell, this is the first time a front facing camera has been able to properly focus. Typically, front cameras have a fixed lens that is focused at roughly an arm's length away with everything else being, I don't know, probably good enough. This saves on the space that's needed to have a movable focusing element, but completely eliminates any chance of natural bokeh. Both the base and Pro iPhone 14 models now do have this feature, and there's a good chance that these new front facing cameras will be better than many of the rear shooters from a couple of years ago. On that subject, around back on the iPhone 14 Pro, we get a new 48 megapixel quad pixel sensor that is 65% larger and has a cool trick up its sleeve, pixel binning. When there's heaps of light, you get the full 48 megapixels, but in low light, the iPhone 14 Pro is able to take four pixels and turn them into a single better pixel. This does decrease the resolution of your photos from 48 to 12 megapixels, but it dramatically improves low light performance. To be clear, this technology is nothing new. For instance, the Samsung Galaxy S21 Ultra and S22 Ultra have a version of this that actually combines nine pixels together, but it is a very welcome addition to the iPhone 14 Pro. Along with the main camera on the Pro, we get a 12 megapixel 48 millimeter telephoto and a 12 megapixel 13 millimeter wide, and every iPhone 14 camera benefits from Apple's new Photonic engine, which is basically their deep fusion photo AI, but more better. And apparently it can nearly double their low light performance. While the base iPhone 14 gets the same A15 chip from the old iPhone 13 Pro, the 14 Pro gets a fancy new A16 chip. The A16 sounds similar to the A15. We still get two performance cores, four efficiency cores, and five GPU cores, but through the magic of four nanometer, it's able to reduce power consumption on the performance cores by 20%. According to Apple, this is the most efficient mobile CPU in existence. And given that they've been crapping on everyone else in terms of performance, I'd say that's probably accurate. And it's probably more power than you'll be needing in a smartphone for quite some time, unless you're a very heavy user. The biggest advancement with the A16 though is the display engine, which brings better anti-aliasing, the ability to reduce the screen refresh rate down to one Hertz to boost battery life, and finally, an always on display for the iPhone. I know, I know. Everyone on Android, totally floored right now that Apple hasn't had an always on display until now, but guys, credit. Credit where credit is due. They have finally done it. Only took them nine years. Three times as long as it took us to design our screwdriver, which is available at lttstore.com. But Apple giveth and Apple taketh away. In this case, take a thing, the SIM tray. Actually, in most of the world, you'll get a nano SIM tray. But if you buy an iPhone 14 in North America, you do not. Instead, you get two eSIMs. Now for the vast majority of users, this absence of a physical SIM tray is never going to be a problem. You just connect your carrier to the eSIM, and you never think about it again. But if you're someone that regularly travels between continents and doesn't have a travel plan, or you go places where it's not supported, then it's gonna be a bit of a change. See, right now, if you wanna change to a local carrier when you're on the road, you go grab a SIM card, put it in your phone, and you're done. Going forward with the North American iPhone 14, you're gonna have to register that carrier to one of your two eSIM slots. That assumes they even support eSIM. And then if you need a third carrier for some reason, you're gonna have to go through the rigmarole of removing one of your carriers and adding another one, switching, it's just a giant fart. Anyway, if there was one thing that brought a sparkle to Apple's eye during the event, it was the thought of you being in grave danger. Like, wow, they laid it on pretty thick. They do have some pretty cool technology to show for it though. Previously, if you wanted to connect your cell phone directly to a satellite, you'd need a Rod Jeremy spec antenna. And well, you still do if you wanna have a proper conversation without involving a cell tower. But, and this is really cool, by having an app that shows you how to point your phone directly at a satellite, you can manage just enough of a connection to send out an emergency message and your location. To make this easier, they have a form with typical emergency questions so all the information a rescue team needs can be sent at once. And even if you're not in grave danger, you can use this feature to send location data to your loved ones, if you're the kind of person that goes on weeks long treks across the Yukon or whatever the case may be. Also integrated into the iPhone 14 is new car crash detection. This is accomplished by using an improved gyroscope, as well as a fancy accelerometer that can measure up to 256 Gs at a 3000 Hertz polling rate, as well as data from the barometer and mic to tell if an airbag has gone off. Apple apparently recorded 1000 hours of crash test data, and from that, they were able to tell what type of car crash you've been in and automatically alert emergency services if you don't respond to the prompt. Crash detection is also a feature on the new Apple Watch Ultra, which frankly looks pretty sick. The case is titanium, the face is a sapphire crystal, and you get a new orange programmable button. I doubt the majority of Apple Watch Ultra users will ever need it to function as a dive computer, a wayfinder, or to measure the length of their stride. But in addition to those, it has improvements for the rest of us, like more battery life. The Watch Ultra can last for 36 hours of regular use and up to 60 when it's in low power mode. It has dual frequency GPS for higher accuracy and an all red night mode that looks sick. I think Anthony probably put it best when he said, this is the Apple Watch that makes people that didn't want an Apple Watch, want an Apple Watch. The standard Apple Watch Series 8 is largely unchanged compared to the Series 7, except for two improvements that it shares with the Watch Ultra, the aforementioned crash detection and some really accurate thermometers, one on the outside and the other against your skin. These sensors were designed with women's health in mind, specifically cycle tracking and a retrospective analysis of ovulation. All of this information is encrypted on the device and not even Apple has a key to decrypt it, which shouldn't be that big of a deal. But unfortunately, women's rights in the States recently took a huge hit and cycle tracking information could be weaponized against you if it falls into the wrong hands. Anyway, the atrial fibrillation will be able to pick up your distress when you find out the Apple Watch Ultra starts at 800 US dollars, good gravy, while the Series 8 starts at 400 with the SE starting at 250. Moving on, there's a second generation of the AirPods Pro. That's actually the one I'm most excited about that features new H2 silicon that apparently has greatly improved spatial audio. Now you're able to use an iPhone camera to create a 3D model of your ear to better tune the spatial audio for your specific ears, something the likes of Sony have been doing for a while. Overall, the new AirPods Pros just seem to be like better than the old ones, more battery life, better active noise cancellation and an improved transparency mode. The improvement I'm most excited for concerns the case though. It finally has the ability to charge with an Apple Watch charger and also you can easily locate the charging case. Thank you, Apple. Like you can already easily find the headphones, but I find that I constantly lose the charging case around the house, because I'll just leave it somewhere when I put my earphones in and forget where that happened. This is a segue to our sponsor. Vessi, Vessi footwear is known for being lightweight, easy to pack, comfortable, and most importantly, water resistant with its Dymatex technology. Their everyday move line is designed with added support at the midsole and better breathability to keep up with your active lifestyle. Take them off and put them on with ease thanks to handy pull tabs. I never school with laces anymore and they're also made creature free. So every step you take will be guilt free. And thanks to the dual climate knit material, your feet will stay warm during the winter and cool during the summer. So treat your feet with Vessi's Everyday Move shoes and save 25 bucks with our offer code, Linus Tech Tips. At Vessi.com slash Linus Tech Tips. If you guys enjoyed this video, maybe you'll enjoy, I don't know, our review of the AirPods Pros. Sure. Yeah. I can't wait to get my new ones. My old ones are starting to have some problems. I'm getting the same kind of rattling in one of the drivers that I had with my old ones.