 For years and years now, South by Southwest has been accused of going corporate. And really, there's no better example of that than Pennzoil's Mario Kart racetrack. Pennzoil wanted to sell you motor oil, and Nintendo wanted to sell you a video game. So the two of them got together and created a go-kart experience. You are bad at Mario Kart. I'm literally going to end your life right here. Four racers get on the track, and they strap into electric go-karts. This is me. See you right there. Very good. This marker is going to literally be in a thousand tiny little pieces by the time I'm done with it. Each go-kart is equipped with a GoPro camera and a bunch of RFID sensors. As you drive on the track, you can go over certain markers that give you power-ups or hurt your speed. You race on the track, and you try and win. It's just like Mario Kart, but your kart speeds up or slows down depending on whether or not you hit certain markers. Ugh. All day. All day. Playing Mario Kart in the real world is just a lot like driving a go-kart. There's no augmented reality or shells flying at you. You're just driving over some markers and running around in a pretty slow electric go-kart. What? I was in first! Those were the days! Go-karting is always fun, and Mario Kart is always fun, but putting the two together doesn't really quite work out. The fun of shells flying at you and crashing your friends into the wall from Mario Kart doesn't really translate into go-kart, which is all about safety and honestly not going quite that fast. It's not the dream of actually throwing blue sparks as I drift around the curve in a go-kart, but as South by Southwest PR stunts go, I really can't complain. I was still driving a go-kart, and even though I lost, I can't blame that on corporate influence. I beat Dieter. That's the only thing that matters. I'll get you next time, Pierce.