### Comment:
Fuck it. Just buy bushels of apples

### REPLY:
Hmm.. I see wholesale bushels of apples cost.. $15-30.  I like the premium apples though, so I'll go with $30. 
  
 https://imgur.com/a/Px1KVGH 
 *sells AAPL calls*, *buys 5700 bushels of apples*.   
    
 Crap.  Where do I store these?!?    
 Crap.  They're rotting.  Oh wait, no, they're fermenting! Jackpot!  Now it's alcohol!

### END.