so many memories ... mairi , the first time he had seen her in diana 's school , her beautiful smiling face a picture of innocence and optimism ... mairi , the first time he had kissed her , and with a dazed look in her eyes , all she could say was 'hi ' ... mairi , the first time he had told her the truth about his engagement to alina kokinos , and she could only look at him helplessly as if wanting to stop loving him but unable to ... damen 's chest heaved .