He wants her as a second wife without telling the first; should she accept?
Question

                I am divorced with children . somebody has proposed me to be his second wife without telling his first wife.. but i am afraid he wont be fair since he is already out of town a lot..

would it be permissible to me to inform the fist wife (since i know her) to let her know about the situation .. i feel is the only way i would accept this marriage.. knowing that he does not have to lie about where he is and so on..

please advice.
Praise be to Allah.
    Firstly: 

    You should choose for yourself a man who is of good character 
    and religiously committed, as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be 
    upon him) said: “If there comes to you one whose 
    religious commitment and attitude pleases you, then marry [your 
    female relative who is under your care] 
    to him, for if you do not do that, there will be tribulation on earth and 
    much corruption.”Narrated by at-Tirmidhi (1084) from the hadeeth of Abu 
    Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him)’classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in
    Saheeh at-Tirmidhi. 

    This may be found out by researching about the man and asking 
    his friends and neighbours, and the imam of his mosque; you should not base 
    your decision on emotions or unverified claims. 

    If you are fortunate enough to find a man who is of good 
    character and is religiously committed, then you have been blessed with 
    something good. This is the one who is expected to be fair and just, and to 
    fulfil duties and obligations. 

    Secondly: 

    You say that this suitor lives far outside the city and you 
    are afraid that he will not be fair. This may be interpreted in two ways: 

    1.That you want your full right 
    to a share of his time and you are afraid that he will not be fair, and that 
    he may be unfair towards you with regard to this right. This possibility is 
    very likely if he does not tell his first wife about the marriage, because 
    it will be difficult for him to give you the rights that are your due and to 
    explain why he is away from his home every day or night. This is what 
    usually causes problems and conflict, and may lead to falling short with 
    regard to your rights.

    2.That you do not want your 
    rights in full and you are content with him coming to you every now and then 
    whenever it is easy for him. In that case not telling his first wife may be 
    better, and in most cases it will be possible for him to organise his life 
    properly with both of you, and he can use double entendres if he is asked 
    about where he is going or why he is late.

    You have to be clear about your attitude and your wishes. If 
    you want to have your rights in full, then we do not advise you to get 
    married until he tells his wife and you think it most likely that he is able 
    to deal with problems and achieve fairness (in his treatment of both of 
    you). 

    If you give up your right to a share of his time, then you 
    can marry him without him telling his wife. 

    Whatever the case, you should not tell his wife anything; 
    rather this is a matter to be handled by the man himself. If you tell her 
    then it may spoil the relationship between them. Moreover, you have been 
    entrusted with this secret that has to do with him only, and you do not have 
    the right to disclose the secret without his permission. 

    You should be prepared, if the marriage takes place and you 
    see some shortcoming in his giving his first wife her rights, to advise him 
    to be fair, which is the way of earning Allah’s pleasure and attaining 
    happiness and stability for you both. 

    And Allah knows best.