Weeps When He Hears Quran, But Does Bad Things Too
Question

                I read on a website about the characteristics of the beloved Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), and this made me cry. I also cry sometimes while praying in the masjid, especially if the imam has a passionate voice. Despite this, I fall in sins like masturbation, and talking loudly to my father. I read on your website about the reasons of such sins and how to stop doing them. My question is: Am I considered a hypocrite by committing such sins?
Praise be to Allah.
    
    Firstly: 
    We think that your asking whether you are a hypocrite or not is a sign of 
    much goodness in you insha Allah, because when a Muslim fears that he may 
    fall into hypocrisy, this indicates that his heart is (spiritually) alive 
    and that he is keen to protect his faith. Ibraheem al-Taymi said: Whenever I 
    examine my words against my deeds, I fear that I am insincere. Al-Hasan 
    al-Basri said of hypocrisy: No one fears it but a believer, and no one feels 
    safe from it but a hypocrite. 

    Ibn 
    al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

    The 
    more faith and knowledge a person has, the more he will fear that he may be 
    among this class of people (i.e., hypocrites); hence the leaders and 
    earliest generations of this ummah were afraid that they might be among 
    them. ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) used to say to Hudhayfah (may 
    Allah be pleased with him): I adjure you by Allah, did the Messenger of 
    Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) mention me along with the 
    people (i.e., the hypocrites)? He said: No, but I would not praise anyone 
    after you, meaning; I would not praise people (by saying that they are not 
    mentioned among the hypocrites). It does not mean that ‘Umar (may Allah be 
    pleased with him) was the only one who was free of hypocrisy. 

    Tareeq 
    al-Hijratayn 
    (p. 604) 

    The 
    greatest of the awliya (close friends of Allah) feared this for themselves. 

    1 – 
    Ibn Abi Mulaykah said: I met thirty of the Companions of the Prophet (peace 
    and blessings of Allah be upon him), all of whom feared being hypocrites, 
    and none of them ever said that he had faith equivalent to that of Jibreel 
    and Mikaa’eel (peace be upon them). 

    
    Al-Hafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said:   

    The 
    most prominent among the Sahabah (Companions) whom Ibn Abi Mulaykah met 
    were: ‘Aishah, her sister Asma, Umm Salamah, the four ‘Abd-Allahs, Abu 
    Hurayrah, ‘Uqbah ibn al-Harith and al-Miswar ibn Makhramah. These are among 
    those from whom he heard hadeeth. He also met more prominent Sahabah than 
    these, such as ‘Ali ibn Abi Talib and Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas, and he confirmed 
    that they were afraid of hypocrisy in their actions and nothing to the 
    contrary was narrated from any of the Sahabah, so it is as if there was 
    consensus on this matter. That is because the believers’ deeds may become 
    contaminated with elements that undermine ikhlas (sincerity towards Allah). 
    The fact that they feared it does not mean that they fell into it, rather it 
    means that they were extremely cautious and pious, may Allah be pleased with 
    them. 

    Fath 
    al-Bari 
    by Ibn Hajar (1/110,111). 

    2 – 
    al-Hafiz Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

    
    Al-Ja’d Abu ‘Uthman said: I said to Abu Raj’ al-‘Attaridi: Did you meet 
    anyone whom I met of the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of 
    Allah be upon him) who feared falling into hypocrisy? He said: Yes. Praise 
    be to Allah. I met some of the prominent ones among them, and they used to 
    fear it a great deal. And he had met ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him). 

    3 – 
    And he (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

    Among 
    those of the Sahabah who used to seek refuge with Allah from falling into 
    hypocrisy were: Hudhayfah, Abu’l-Darda and Abu Ayyoob al-Ansari (may Allah 
    be pleased with them). Among the Tabi’een (Successors) there were many who 
    did that. Ibn Sireen said: There is nothing I fear more than this verse 
    (interpretation of the meaning): “And of mankind, there are some 
    (hypocrites) who say: ‘We believe in Allaah and the Last Day,’ while in fact 
    they believe not.” [al-Baqarah 2:8] Ayyoob said: Every verse in the 
    Quran which mentions hypocrisy I fear lest it apply to me. Mu’awiyah ibn 
    Qurrah said: ‘Umar used to fear it, so how can I feel safe from it? Al-Hasan 
    spoke a great deal concerning this matter, as did the imams of Islam after 
    them.  

    
    According to a report narrated by Ibn Hani, al-Imam Ahmad was asked: What do 
    you say about the one who does not fear hypocrisy for himself? He said: Who 
    can feel safe from hypocrisy? 

    Fath 
    al-Bari 
    by Ibn Rajab (1/178, 179). 

    Pay 
    attention to two important matters: 

    1 – 
    The hypocrisy that was feared by those imams among the Sahabah and those who 
    came after them was hypocrisy in deeds, which leads to hypocrisy in the 
    heart, which leads one to Hell – we seek refuge with Allah – this is the 
    kind of hypocrisy which is mentioned in a number of haadeeths (narrations) 
    which warn the Muslim against acquiring its characteristics, such as the 
    following: 

    It was 
    narrated that ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Amr (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The 
    Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “There 
    are four characteristics, whoever has them all is a pure hypocrite, and 
    whoever has one of them has one of the characteristics of hypocrisy, until 
    he gives it up: when he speaks he lies, when he makes a covenant he betrays 
    it, when he makes a promise he breaks it, and when he disputes he resorts to 
    obscene speech.”

    
    Narrated by al-Bukhari (34) and Muslim (58). 

    It was 
    also narrated (2632) by al-Tirmidhi (may Allah have mercy on him) who said 
    after it:  

    What 
    this means according to the scholars is hypocrisy of action. It was the 
    hypocrisy of disbelieving at the time of the Messenger of Allah (peace and 
    blessings of Allah be upon him). Something similar was narrated from 
    al-Hasan al-Basri when he said: Hypocrisy is of two types: hypocrisy of 
    action and hypocrisy of disbelief. 

    End 
    quote. 

    
    Al-Hafiz Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

    This 
    goes back to what we mentioned above: that hypocrisy may be minor or major. 
    Minor hypocrisy is hypocrisy of action, which is what these people feared 
    for themselves. It leads to major hypocrisy which is feared for the one who 
    is overcome by minor hypocrisy to such an extent that it robs him of faith 
    altogether, as Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

    “When 
    they turned away (from the path of Allah), Allah turned their hearts away 
    (from the Right Path).”

    
    [al-Saff 61:5] 

    “And 
    We shall turn their hearts and their eyes away (from guidance), as they 
    refused to believe therein for the first time.”

    
    [al-An’am 6:110] 

    Fath 
    al-Bari by Ibn Rajab (1/179). 

    
    Al-Imam al-Nawawi commented on this hadeeth … See his Sharh Muslim 
    (2/46-48). 

    2 – 
    These prominent figures were the most righteous of people in heart, and they 
    were those who most respected the sacred limits and were least likely to 
    transgress them, but because of their great awareness of their Lord and 
    their fear of His wrath, they would regard a minor sin – if they fell into 
    it – as a major sin. Some of them feared showing off, and others feared 
    falling short in their deeds lest their actions contradict their words. 
    Others thought that being distracted by permissible interactions in their 
    homes with their wives and families, even though they focused properly in 
    gatherings of dhikr, was a kind of hypocrisy. 

    It was 
    narrated that Hanzalah al-Usaydi said: Abu Bakr met me and said: How are 
    you, O Hanzalah? I said: Hanzalah has become a hypocrite. He said: Subhan 
    Allah! What are you saying? I said: When we are with the Messenger of Allah 
    (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) he reminds us of the Fire and the 
    Garden until it is as if we are seeing them with our own eyes, but when we 
    depart from the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon 
    him), we attend to our wives and children and businesses, and we forget a 
    great deal. Abu Bakr said: By Allah, we experience something similar. Abu 
    Bakr and I went and entered upon the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings 
    of Allah be upon him), and I said: Hanzalah has become a hypocrite, O 
    Messenger of Allah. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be 
    upon him) said: “Why is that?” I said: O Messenger of Allah, when we are 
    with you, you remind us of the Fire and the Garden until it is as if we are 
    seeing them with our own eyes, but when we depart from you, we attend to our 
    wives and children and businesses, and we forget a great deal. The Messenger 
    of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “By the One in 
    Whose hand is my soul, if you continued as you are when you are with me, and 
    continued to remember (Paradise and Hell), the angels would shake hands with 
    you in your homes and on the streets. But, O Hanzalah, there is a time for 
    this and a time for that,” (he said it) three times.

    
    Narrated by Muslim (2750). 

    
    Al-Nawawi (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

    With 
    regard to the words, “we attend to our wives and children and businesses”, 

    
    Al-Harawi and others said: What this means is that we become absorbed with 
    them and get busy with them.  

    
     “Hanzalah has become a hypocrite” means: he was afraid that he had become a 
    hypocrite, because he felt the fear of Allah when he was sitting with the 
    Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him), and that was manifested 
    in the way he focused on remembrance of Allah and thinking of the Hereafter, 
    but when he departed he became distracted by his wife and children and 
    earning a living in this world, and the basic meaning of hypocrisy is 
    showing the opposite of what one conceals of evil, so he was afraid that he 
    was a hypocrite because of that. But the Prophet (peace and blessings of 
    Allah be upon him) told him that this was not hypocrisy, and that they were 
    not expected to be like that all the time. “There is a time for this and a 
    time for that.” 

    Sharh 
    Muslim 
    (17/66, 67) 

    
    Al-Hafiz Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

    When 
    it became clear to the Sahabah (may Allah be pleased with them) that 
    hypocrisy meant a difference between one’s inner thoughts and outward 
    appearance, some of them feared that if they lost the focus and presence of 
    mind they attained when they listened to reminders, after they returned to 
    worldly matters and were distracted by their families and children and 
    wealth, that this was hypocrisy, as was narrated in Saheeh Muslim 
    from Hanzalah al-Asadi … and he quoted the hadeeth –  

    Fath 
    al-Bari 
    by Ibn Rajab (1/111). 

    With 
    regard to your situation, you have to fear more than those pure awliya 
    (close friends of Allah) among the Sahabah, Tabi’een and subsequent 
    generations did, because you are disobeying Allah by doing the secret habit 
    and by mistreating your parents. Your saying that you sometimes raise your 
    voice somewhat to your father will not excuse you from the warning of 
    punishment. You are forbidden to say even “uff” (a mild word of objection) 
    to your parents, so how about if you raise your voice and speak loudly to 
    them? What you must do is beware lest your sins lead you to a bad end. 

    
    Al-Bukhari (may Allah have mercy on him) gave a chapter heading to the 
    report he narrated from Ibraheem al-Taymi, Ibn Abi Mulaykah and al-Hasan 
    al-Basri – which we have quoted above – saying: Chapter on the believer’s 
    fear that his deeds may be cancelled out without him realizing. 

    And he 
    ended this chapter by saying: 

    And 
    there is fear for the one who persists in hypocrisy and sin without 
    repenting, because Allah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And 
    do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know.” 

    [Al 
    ‘Imran 3:135]

    End 
    quote. 

    
    Al-Hafiz Ibn Rajab al-Hanbali (may Allah have mercy on him) said: 

    What 
    the words of al-Bukhari (may Allah have mercy on him) – And there is fear 
    for the one who persists in hypocrisy and sin without repenting, because 
    Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “and do not persist in what 
    (wrong) they have done, while they know,” [Al ‘Imran 3:135]– mean is that if one persists in sin and the various types of 
    hypocrisy without repenting there is the fear that the one who does this may 
    be punished by having his faith taken away altogether, so that he becomes a 
    complete hypocrite and meets a bad end – we seek refuge with Allah from that 
    – as it is said that sin is the way to kufr. 

    Fath 
    al-Bari 
    by Ibn Rajab (1/181). 

    
    Secondly: 

    We 
    encourage you to continue softening your heart and weeping when you hear the 
    Quran, and listening to exhortations, and at the same time we encourage you 
    to repent from sinful actions and to refrain from doing the secret habit, 
    and to refrain from mistreating your parents. We encourage you to hasten to 
    apologize to them and to honour them and treat them kindly in word and deed. 
    Beware of continuing to sin without repenting, and remember that the one who 
    truly fears Allah is not the one who weeps and sheds tears, rather he is the 
    one who gives up something for which he fears he may be punished. 

    What 
    we have quoted to you of warnings about this is sufficient, insha Allah, to 
    make you hasten to repent and turn to Allah. 

    And 
    Allah knows best.