She is concealing her Islam from her family in China; can she visit them without hijab, and wearing pants?
Question

                My wife is Chinese and converted to islam 3 years ago walhamduliLlah. She did not observe the hijab or pray at first but for a year now, she prays and observes the hijab, Ramadan, Hajj, & zakat. There is just one problem. She did not tell her family that she became a Muslim and when we go to visit them 4 times a year for a few days, she does not wear the hijab and sometimes she puts on a hat to cover her hair when she goes out. She also wears pants sometimes when she's visiting her family. Lastly, one in a while we have to go out to a chinese restaurant and eat. They do not order pork or alcohol out of respect for me. She does not want to tell her family or explain to them so that she may not inconvenience them. As a husband, i am afraid that if I let her do that I may be considered a DAYOUTH and bear the sin along with her. On the other hand, if I try to force her to do that there may be repercussions on the family as we have 4 children walhamduliLlah. Please note that I am planning to move out of the kuffar country to the Muslm land in about year Inshaa Allah so that these problems are no longer there or absolutely minimal. Please advise as to the food in the restaurant and the hijab/dress issues.
Praise be to Allah.
    Firstly: 

    We praise Allaah for having blessed your wife with guidance 
    and choosing her to be one of the Muslims. This is a great and precious 
    blessing which should be protected and nurtured. Try to support her in 
    learning the rulings of Islam, strengthening her faith by doing acts of 
    obedience and keeping away from sin. We ask Allaah to enable you to do all 
    that is good. 

    Secondly: 

    We do not think that she has any excuse for uncovering her 
    head or for wearing pants, unless she is afraid that her family will harm 
    her if they find out about her being Muslim. Allaah says (interpretation of 
    the meaning):

    “Verily, as for those whom the angels take (in death) 
    while they are wronging themselves (as they stayed among the disbelievers 
    even though emigration was obligatory for them), they (angels) say (to 
    them): ‘In what (condition) were you?’ They reply: ‘We were weak and 
    oppressed on the earth.’ They (angels) say: ‘Was not the earth of Allaah 
    spacious enough for you to emigrate therein?’ Such men will find their abode 
    in Hell — what an evil destination!

    98. Except the weak ones among men, women and children who 
    cannot devise a plan, nor are they able to direct their way”

    [al-Nisa’ 4:97, 98]

    Your wife -- as it appears to us from what you say -- is not 
    one of those who are weak and oppressed, because she is not living with her 
    family and she has nothing to fear from them; rather the most that can be 
    said is that she is afraid of her ties with them being severed. 

    Al-Aloosi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

    What is meant is that they tried to justify their 
    shortcomings in showing their Islam openly and falling short in carrying out 
    their religious duties on the grounds that they were weak and oppressed, 
    which was why they could not carry out their religious duties among the 
    people of Makkah; therefore they did not do much. Or they made excuses for 
    not going out with them [the Muslims, to Madeenah] and becoming a part of 
    their [Muslim] community on the grounds that they were helpless and under 
    the control of the non-Muslims of Makkah. Whatever the case, the angels did 
    not accept this from them. 

    Tafseer al-Aloosi, 4/196 

    And he (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

    Every believer who finds himself in a place where he cannot 
    show his religion openly because of the opposition of those who are not 
    Muslims is obliged to migrate to a place where he can show his religion 
    openly. It is not permissible for him at all to stay there and conceal his 
    religion and to make the excuse that he is weak and oppressed, because 
    Allaah's earth is vast and spacious. 

    Yes, if he is one of those who have a shar’i excuse for not 
    migrating, such as children, women, the blind, those who are detained, those 
    whom the non-Muslims scare with threats to kill them or to kill their 
    children or fathers or mothers, in cases where he thinks that what they are 
    scaring him with is most likely to happen -- whether that killing is by 
    beheading, withholding food and so on -- then in that case it is permissible 
    for him to stay with the non-Muslims and to go along with them as much it is 
    necessary, but he must strive to find ways to escape and flee for the sake 
    of his religion. End quote. 

    Tafseer al-Aloosi, 2/479 

    What we advise you to do -- if your wife is not afraid that 
    she may be harmed by her family -- is to tell them that she has become 
    Muslim and to send someone to them to inform them about that, and to 
    continue to uphold ties with them and treat them kindly. 

    Perhaps one of the greatest benefits of her showing her Islam 
    openly is that she will become keen to call her family to Islam and she will 
    start to look for suitable ways to do that, such as corresponding with them, 
    talking to them, and sending them audiovisual materials on Islam. Perhaps 
    Allaah will guide them to enter Islam, and that will be included in the 
    balance of your good deeds. Thus your wife will be safe from committing 
    those haraam actions, she will have established proof against her family, 
    she will have discharged her responsibilities before Allaah and she will 
    have striven to guide them and save them, because it is not right for her to 
    have the blessing of Islam and deprive her family of it. 

    We ask Allaah to help and guide you. 

    And Allaah knows best.