Opening the grave and scattering seeds in it
Question

                If someone dies here in Sudan, after forty days the family, including the women and children, goes to visit the grave, and opens the grave. They have seeds of corn with them which they scatter over the deceased, and I think they throw stones on the deceased. Can women visit graves?.
Praise be to Allah.This is an innovation (bid’ah) for which there 
    is no basis in sharee’ah. Throwing seeds, perfume and clothes into the grave are all reprehensible actions for which there is no basis. The grave 
    should not be opened unless there is a good reason for doing so, such as the workers forgetting their tools like shovels, so it may be opened for 
    that reason, or if one of them has dropped something important, so the grave may be opened to retrieve it. But opening it to scatter seeds or 
    clothes and the like is not permitted. 
Women should not visit graves, because the 
    Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) cursed women who visit graves. That was narrated from Abu Hurayrah, Ibn ‘Abbaas and 
    Hassaan ibn Thaabit (may Allaah be pleased with them). So it is not permissible for them to visit graves, but that is prescribed for men, because 
    the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Visit the graves, for they remind you of the Hereafter.” (Narrated by Muslim 
    in his Saheeh). 
The reason why women are forbidden to visit 
    graves – and Allaah knows best – is that they are a temptation (fitnah) and they have little patience.