A non-Muslim is objecting to a Muslim student who does not enjoy himself with them in night clubs!
Question

                I have a muslim student in my class at university and he never comes and sits with us nor does he come out to the night club/leisure with us. My question is why does islam teach people not to enjoy them selves and be miserable all the time. cheers.
Praise be to Allah.
    The idea of your writing to an Islamic website is a good idea 
    in and of itself, which shows that you are on the right path of asking about 
    what you want to know. You have done well by doing so, and we are enjoined 
    to commend the one who does well, and to praise his actions if they are 
    good. 

    For our part, we are happy to answer your questions and 
    queries, not only about this matter, but about everything that you want to 
    know about this religion, or everything that you think you should know.  

    We would like you to pay attention to what we are going to 
    tell you, and we are sure that you are not just asking for fun, or to impugn 
    the rulings of the Islamic faith. We think that you are only asking because 
    you want to know more. 

    We would like to answer your question by making a few points, 
    and we think that you are able to understand what we are saying. 

    1.

    What would you think if a woman came to offer you condolences 
    for the death of a relative of yours, wearing a swimsuit? Would you accept 
    that? We think that the answer would be no, it is not acceptable, because 
    the occasion requires the one who comes offering condolences to wear clothes 
    that suit the occasion, doesn’t it? The question is: what is it that has 
    restricted this person’s freedom of dress and requires him to wear one type 
    of clothing and not another? It is customs and traditions, is it not? So one 
    is not free to do whatever one wants in all circumstances, rather custom 
    sometimes prevents a person from doing something and puts some limits on his 
    freedom. 

    What would you think if a person was eating with you at the 
    same table, and during the meal he burped? Would you accept that from him? 
    We think that the answer will be no, this behaviour is not acceptable, 
    because this action is contrary to good table manners, is it not? 

    Question: What is it that limits the freedom of this person 
    and prevents him from doing this action whilst eating? It is good taste and 
    manners, is it not? So a person is not free to do whatever he wants whilst 
    eating food with others, such as burping, sticking his fingers up his nose 
    and so on, because good taste requires certain things from him, and prevents 
    him from doing others. 

    What do you think if a driver drives his car opposite to the 
    flow of traffic, or parks in a place where parking is not allowed? Would you 
    accept that from him? We think that the answer will be no, those actions are 
    not acceptable, because doing that is objectionable and unacceptable; the 
    right to drive is not based on his whims, and not all places are good to 
    park in, is that not so? Question: What is it that limited this driver’s 
    freedom and prevents him from driving opposite to the flow of traffic and 
    prevents him from parking in that spot? It is the law, is it not? So a 
    person is not free even to drive his car however he wants or to park 
    wherever he wants, because the law dictates that the traffic should go a 
    certain way, and prevents parking in certain places. 

    So you can see that customs and traditions, good taste and 
    the law all have some authority over people, by preventing them from doing 
    certain things and obliging them to do others. So it is nothing strange that 
    God or religion should have some authority over people. We see what our Lord 
    or our religion forbid to us, and we refrain from it and regard it as 
    prohibited. This is the issue in a nutshell. We think that you will 
    understand that the prohibition of the Lord and of religion is more 
    important than all the things we have mentioned, and it is more important to 
    pay heed and refrain from those things, because He is the Creator Who has 
    decreed that we should be His servants and we have accepted Him as our Lord, 
    legislator and ruler. 

    What the Muslim student is ding by not going to the nightclub 
    and not drinking alcohol – he is only doing that for the sake of Allaah Who 
    has forbidden that to him. 

    2.

    Moreover, you are objecting to that Muslim student not going 
    to the nightclub and not enjoying himself with you. We ask you: Are there 
    any limits to this enjoyment or is it without limits? We will be more frank 
    with you: Would you accept for your girlfriend among the female students to 
    be the girlfriend of another student or a teacher? Would you accept for 
    someone else to be intimate with her as you are? We know about a lot of the 
    cases of murder that happen in secondary schools and colleges because of 
    such actions. There is no need to answer us, because we have seen and heard 
    and read about fights that often end in killing, and all of that is because 
    of competing to win the heart of a female student. Is that not so? So what 
    is the enjoyment that you are calling for? Why do you prohibit this kind of 
    enjoyment to students or teachers who want be intimate with the same female 
    student, and she may also want that? 

    If you go against sound human nature and the reality in which 
    you live, and accept for other students to be intimate with the female 
    student who you are in love with, would you agree for the same thing to 
    happen with your wife? We hope that you will not be angered by this 
    question, all we want to do is explain to you that there are contradictions 
    in your society, whereby you call for fun and enjoyment, but you limit it to 
    things that have to do with yourselves and your whims and desires, and if a 
    Muslim refuses to do that because of his religion, he is made a laughing 
    stock and criticized. Moreover, there is a reference to a similar question 
    in our religion. Do you know what that is? A young man came to our Prophet 
    Muhammad  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and asked him for 
    permission to commit fornication. Yes, he asked for permission to commit 
    fornication with the daughters and womenfolk of other people. Do you know 
    what our Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to 
    him? He said to him: “Would you accept it for your mother? Would you accept 
    it for your sister? Would you accept it for your daughter?” and each time 
    the young man said no, that he would not accept for anyone to commit 
    fornication with his mother, sister or daughter, and each time the Prophet 
     (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to him: “And by the 
    same token, people do not accept it for their mothers, sisters or 
    daughters.” The Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) 
    prayed for him, and when he left him, fornication was the most hateful of 
    deeds in his mind. 

    You are calling this Muslim to have fun, and we have asked a 
    logical question: Would you accept for him to be intimate with your 
    girlfriend whom you love? Would you accept for him to be intimate with your 
    wife? Would you accept for him to be intimate with your daughter? We are 
    quite certain that the incidents where unfaithful wives are killed happen 
    because of the sound human nature that God has created in all people, 
    whereby people refuse that and denounce it strongly, even if that leads to 
    killing her or killing her and her lover, even if the end result is life 
    imprisonment or execution. An unfaithful girlfriend is definitely not like 
    an unfaithful wife, but even boyfriends do not accept for their girlfriends 
    to be available to all people. 

    3.

    Islam brought rulings that are well-founded and most wise; 
    they are in the best interests of individuals, societies and states. When 
    Islam forbade sexual relations outside the framework of marriage, the aim 
    was so that societies would be pure in heart and body. It is sufficient for 
    you to know the huge numbers of those who are affected by sexually 
    transmitted diseases which are caused by sinful and perverse relationships, 
    concerning the prohibition of which there should be no difference among 
    various religions. How many victims of AIDS are there? How many have been 
    infected? How do those of them who have not died live? It is a wretched life 
    and a terrible death that a person leads himself to when he pays with his 
    life for a few moments of pleasure. Islam brought that which protects the 
    Muslim’s religious commitment, heart and body, so the Muslim refuses to do 
    haraam (forbidden) things and is content with that which Allaah has decreed 
    for him, for He knows best what is in the best interests of people. 

    4.

    You should note that there is nothing in this world to feel 
    regret for missing out on. For the Muslim, this world is a prison, and his 
    Paradise and true enjoyment are in the Hereafter. As for the disbeliever, 
    his paradise is in this world only, where he enjoys its delights, then his 
    ultimate fate will be humiliation and loss. 

    Our Prophet Muhammad  (peace and blessings of Allaah be 
    upon him) told us that when he said: “This world is a prison for the 
    believer and a paradise for the kaafir.” Narrated by Muslim (2956). 

    Our scholars explained it to us as follows: 

    Every believer who is imprisoned in this world and deprived 
    of forbidden and abhorrent whims and desires is obliged to do difficult acts 
    of obedience, but when he dies he will be relieved of that, and he will 
    attain what Allaah has prepared for him of eternal delights and complete 
    serenity that is not disturbed by anything.

     As for the kaafir (disbeliever), he has whatever he gets of 
    that in this world, although it is very little and it is disturbed by many 
    problems and distresses, but when he dies, he will end up in eternal torment 
    and misery. 

    Sharh al-Nawawi (18/93). 

    We hope that you will think about this matter and we hope 
    that it will be the key that opens your heart to the truth. 

    5.

    Who told you that there is no enjoyment in Islam? We do enjoy 
    ourselves, but it is with what Allaah has permitted to us. We enjoy much 
    more than you enjoy – and think it is enjoyment – because there is no 
    enjoyment in a haraam thing, rather true enjoyment is in permissible things. 
    Sin is followed by a sense of regret, and the one who does it can never be 
    happy. Look at your own situation to see the truth of this. 

    If you enjoy intimacy with one wife, we can enjoy intimacy 
    with four wives. What is the matter with your people who denounce us night 
    and day and insult our religion for allowing us this pleasure? 

    We enjoy life with our sons and daughters, hence you will see 
    that Muslim families are large and have many children. What kind of 
    enjoyment do you have in this respect?  

    We enjoy the love of our mothers and fathers. Do you know the 
    reality of the relationship of one of you with his mother and father? 

    We enjoy delicious, permissible food, and we enjoy delicious 
    permissible drinks, and the same may be said about many other aspects of 
    life. What matters is that Allaah has permitted it to us and allowed us to 
    enjoy it. 

    It is sufficient for us that we are happy and enjoy that to 
    which Allaah has guided us, which is that we should follow the right path 
    with which Allaah is pleased, and which was followed by the noble Prophets 
    before us. This is the happiness of which millions of people are deprived, 
    who accept for themselves to worship rocks or idols, or humans like them. 
    Allaah has told us that the lives of these people will never be pleasant, 
    and their hearts will never be at rest, because they have forsaken belief in 
    the Oneness (Tawheed) of their Lord Who created them, and they have 
    associated other gods with Him, so Allaah punishes them in this world with 
    anxiety and He will punish them with constriction of their graves, then with 
    the harshness of the gathering (on the Day of Judgement) and their ultimate 
    fate will be Hell in which they will abide forever. 

    If you want to understand the truth of these words, then read 
    the stories of those among your own people, or others, who entered Islam. 
    Look at the great changes that occurred in their lives, and look at the 
    great happiness that they enjoy now. This is the enjoyment that you should 
    seek. Just as you call on us to have fun and enjoyment, we call you 
    sincerely to come and find enjoyment with us, and follow the path of 
    happiness, and taste true happiness that will be with you as you go to sleep 
    and as you wake up, and will never leave you, until you enter your grave, 
    until your Lord admits you to the abode of happiness, which is Paradise as 
    vast as the heavens and the earth. 

    We ask Allaah our Lord to guide you to knowledge of the 
    truth, and not to cause you to die except in the religion with which He 
    ended the divine messages. 

    And Allaah is the source of strength.