Issues having to do with conditional divorce, and different fatwas about whether it counts as such
Question

                Firstly: I have been married for eight years, and I have a husband who frequently swore to divorce me – a conditional divorce – during the first years of our marriage.

At the beginning, I consulted a number of shaykhs and scholars because I was worried about my living with him: was it halaal or haraam? So as to put my mind at rest with a fatwa.

There were some who gave me a fatwa saying that the divorce counted as such, and there were others who gave me a fatwa saying that it did not count as such, because I used to ask my husband about his intentions, and he would tell me that his intention was to discipline me and threaten me.

I even asked your website twice about some of the words that he had said to me.

After reading and finding out that a conditional divorce does not count as such, and that this is the view of Imam Ibn Taymiyah and Ibn al-Qayyim, as I read in his book Zaad al-Ma‘aad, and after the two shaykhs, Ibn ‘Uthaymeen and Ibn Baaz said that in their fatwas, my mind was put at rest and I followed the view that the conditional divorce does not count as such.

Is there any sin on me? Have I followed my own whims and desires? What is your view of my question to the shaykhs? I have read on your website that I should adhere to the view of the first one I asked: but I do not remember who I asked first and what he said in his fatwa. 

Secondly:

My husband clearly uttered the word of divorce on three occasions:

1.	During my menses

2.	He uttered this word by a slip of the tongue, as he did not realise that he had said it and I am the one who pointed it out. He was joking with me and said this word without meaning it, and a shaykh told my husband that it did not count as such.

3.	He kept repeating to himself “Taaliq, taaliq, taaliq (divorced, divorced, divorced)” during a period of purity (i.e., I was not menstruating) when he had had intercourse with me. That was during an argument we had.

I know that I was wrong to go from one shaykh to another, but I did not know that doing so was haraam. I did not follow my personal view that the conditional divorce does not count as such if his intention was only to threaten, until after I had read a great deal on your website and in books of fiqh. I do not deny that this is in accordance with my own wishes in my heart, so please pray for me.

Secondly: is it permissible for me to give a fatwa to myself with regard to conditional divorce,  because my husband swore so many conditional oaths that I cannot remember them? In a moment of calm, I asked him about his intention in all of them, and not one by one, because I cannot remember them and I said: Why did you swear to divorce me? He said: I wanted to discipline you.
Praise be to Allah.
		I. 

	The Muslim has to control his tongue and refrain from 
	frequently speaking the word of divorce, because this ruling was not 
	prescribed for the purpose of toying with this concept and its phrases. How 
	often has uttering this word led to conflict, disputes and breakup of 
	families, when the husband was had the option not to take this path, but he 
	insisted on putting himself through hardship. 

	Moreover, divorce results in many other rulings and puts the 
	spouses in a confusing and difficult situation, to the extent that they do 
	not know what counts as divorce and what does not. Is their living together 
	halaal or haraam? Are their children legitimate or not? 

	II. 

	The Muslim has to adhere to the fatwa of a scholar whose 
	religious commitment and knowledge he trusts. He should not seek out fatwas 
	from different shaykhs with the aim of looking for concessions until he 
	finds a fatwa that is in accordance with his whims and desires, and then 
	follows it. This is not permissible. 

	It is not prohibited for him to ask someone other than the 
	one whom he asked first, if he is not entirely certain that this is indeed 
	the most correct opinion and is the shar‘i ruling that must be followed 
	concerning this matter, especially if he has some understanding about issues 
	of Islamic knowledge or he is able to weigh up scholarly opinions according 
	to sound academic principles. 

	It is not haraam for the questioner to adopt the opinion that 
	is in accordance with his desires and suits him, if those who issue this 
	fatwa are scholars whose knowledge and religious commitment are trustworthy 
	in his opinion. 

	Shaykh Muhammad as-Saalih al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy 
	on him) said to someone who had asked someone else before asking him: 

	He should not ask again, because if a man asks a question of 
	a scholar whose knowledge and religious commitment he trusts, and believes 
	that what he says is true, then it is not permissible for him to turn to 
	another scholar to ask him for a different opinion, because this comes under 
	the heading of toying with the religion and law of Allah, may He be 
	glorified and exalted. 

	What I advise this man – and others – to do is, if he has 
	asked a scholar whose knowledge and religious commitment he trusts, and he 
	believes that what he tells him about this matter is true, is not to then 
	ask someone else after that and act upon what the latter advises him, 
	because he thinks that what he said is correct and true. That is unless he 
	has heard from someone – without asking for a fatwa – a view that is 
	contrary to that fatwa, and the one from whom he heard it has evidence for 
	it. In that case, there is nothing wrong with asking him in order to discuss 
	it with him. So he can say: You said such and such, and you quoted such and 
	such as evidence for it, but I was given a fatwa saying such and such, so 
	what is your response? Because these are very important issues and we see 
	some people asking for fatwas from a number of scholars, either to find out 
	the easiest option and the one that is closest to his own whims and desires, 
	or to play off the opinions of the scholars against one another. All of that 
	comes under the heading of toying with the religion. 

	End quote from Fataawa Noor ‘ala ad-Darb (tape no. 
	25) 

	III. 

	With regard to conditional divorce, if the intention behind 
	it is divorce itself, then it counts as such. If the intention was to 
	encourage the wife to do something or to prevent her from doing something, 
	then it does not count as such, as is the view followed on this website and 
	in the fatwas of some of the scholars. 

	In the case of this conditional divorce that was intended for 
	such a purpose, expiation for breaking an oath (kafaarat yameen) is 
	required, as we explained in the answer to question no. 
	82400. 

	IV. 

	With regard to divorce during a period of purity in which the 
	husband had intercourse with her, or during her menses, what we on this 
	website think most likely to be correct is that this does not count as such. 
	Please see the answers to questions no. 72417 and
	106328. 

	V. 

	If the husband utters the word of divorce without intending 
	to, let alone having decided on divorce, then it does not count as such. 

	Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said, 
	commenting on the meaning of the verse in which Allah, may He be exalted, 
	says (interpretation of the meaning), “Allah 
	will not call you to account for that which is unintentional in your oaths, 
	but He will call you to account for that which your hearts have earned. And 
	Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most-Forbearing” 
	[al-Baqarah 2:225]: 

	Among the things we learned from this verse is that a person 
	will not be brought to account for what he did not intend in the words he 
	uttered. This is an important principle that has to do with many matters, 
	including cases where the word of divorce come from his lips without him 
	intending it to; in that case his wife is not divorced. And if he issues a 
	divorce in a state of extreme anger, his wife is not divorced.

	Tafseer Soorat al-Baqarah 
	(3/93) 

	VI. 

	Finally, what we think is: 

	1.
	If the husband has been given a fatwa by a shaykh or 
	Islamic organisation stating that the divorce does not count as such, then 
	that is the case.

	2.
	What the wife thinks does not matter according to the 
	rulings having to do with divorce. Rather what matters is what the husband 
	thinks if he is a seeker of knowledge. Otherwise you should follow the fatwa 
	of a scholar whose knowledge and religious commitment you trust.

	And Allah knows best.