Is it permissible for a new Muslim who is afraid of his family finding out to not attend Jumu‘ah, and to pray in the bathroom, and do not fast in Ramadan?
Question

I am a young man. I became Muslim a short while ago, and my family still do not know until now. Please note that they are suspicious about me being Muslim. They found that I had a copy of the Qur’an, which made them suspicious, so they started to check my mobile phone to confirm their suspicions. Because of that, sometimes my family ask me to commit sin, such as bringing alcohol to them and buying it, and I cannot object, because that will make them suspicious. I hate this action with all my heart, but I cannot express that or object to them, because that will make them even more suspicious. I am waiting to move to the university stage, when I can be somewhat independent and far away from constant surveillance. My questions are: 1. Is it permissible to obey them in what they ask me to do of bringing alcohol and buying it? 2. If I open the door of the fridge in which there is alcohol to take something out of the fridge, is this regarded as carrying alcohol? 3. Sometimes I cannot find any place to pray, so I pray in the bathroom. Is that permissible for me? 4. What should I do in Ramadan? I fast but sometimes my family call me to eat, and I tell them I have already eaten, or sometimes I take a plate of food and pretend to be eating, but I throw its contents in the trash. But sometimes I cannot do that, and I find myself in a situation where I am forced to break the fast. Is it permissible for me to break the fast in that case? 5. Similarly, I do not pray Jumu‘ah or prayer in congregation. Am I obliged to pray Jumu‘ah? Will I receive the reward for praying in congregation or not, seeing that I am not able to do it?
Praise be to Allah.Firstly:
We praise Allah, may He be exalted, Who has guided you and we ask Him to make you steadfast and to grant you the joy of seeing your family and those whom you love becoming Muslim. We congratulate you for having become Muslim, and for your mature thinking and sound nature which led you to Islam.
Secondly:
If you are afraid that you will be harassed, harmed and put to trial in your faith if your family find out that you have become Muslim, then you are excused for what you are unable to do of obligatory duties, or doing prohibited actions that you cannot escape doing.
This is a general answer to all your questions, and similar questions that may arise. For this great religion is easy and Allah does not burden any soul with more than it can bear. Obligatory duties are waived when one is unable to do them, and things that are prohibited become permitted when one is compelled to do them.
1.. With regard to bringing alcohol, carrying it and buying it, all of that is haraam (prohibited), so try to look for an excuse and a way out so that you can avoid doing that, or reduce it, even by using tricks. If you cannot find any way to avoid it, then there is no blame on you.
2. Opening the fridge in which there is alcohol is not regarded as carrying alcohol, even if you move the alcohol in the process of opening the door. Rather what is meant by carrying it is picking up the alcohol and putting it in some place, or passing it to someone. This is prohibited because it is helping the person to drink the alcohol, because every action that helps people to drink it is prohibited.
3. Prayer is the greatest pillar of Islam after the twin declaration of faith, and it is not permissible to omit it or be heedless concerning it, no matter what the reasons. Rather the individual should pray according to what he is able to do, standing, sitting or lying down; in fact you may pray by means of gestures whilst walking in the case of fleeing from a wild animal or flood. For anyone who is in his right mind, the prayer is not waived. If it is difficult for him to pray every prayer on time, it is permissible to put Zuhr together with ‘Asr, and Maghrib with ‘Isha’, at the time of the earlier or later prayer. This is by the grace and mercy of Allah.
For more information, please see the answer to question no. 100627 .
With regard to praying in the bathroom, this is not allowed, whether it is a place for bathing only, or it is a place for relieving oneself, because it is an abode of the devils and the place where ‘awrahs (private parts) are uncovered. At-Tirmidhi (317), Abu Dawood (492) and Ibn Maajah (745) narrated that Abu Sa‘eed al-Khudri (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “All the earth is a place of prostration except graveyards and bathrooms.” This hadith was classed as saheeh (sound) by Ibn Khuzaymah and Ibn Hibbaan, and by al-Albaani in Saheeh Sunan at-Tirmidhi.
This hadith indicates that prayers offered in the bathroom are not valid. Hence it is not permissible to do that except in the case of necessity, in which case you may put two prayers together.
Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked: There is a Christian boy who became Muslim in secret, and fears that he may be harassed and tested in his faith if his family find out that he has become Muslim. He is a young student who is still in school, and he has no place where he can pray. If he is afraid that if they find out about his being Muslim, they may take him to non-Muslim countries, for example, or put him to trial regarding his faith, and he is someone who cannot remain steadfast because he is still young, is it permissible for him to pray in the bathroom?
He replied: What appears to be the case is that there is nothing wrong with it, if he cannot find any other place, and if he prays in front of them they may find out that he has become Muslim and put him to trial regarding his faith. If he cannot find any other place, there is nothing wrong with that. But for some of the prayers he may be able to find a place and for some prayers he may not be able to find a place. Therefore if he is able to find a place he must pray there, because praying in the bathroom is not allowed, because it is forbidden to pray in graveyards and bathrooms. But if he cannot find a place, he should not give up praying. End quote.
See also the answer to question no. 153572 .
4. Fasting Ramadan is obligatory, and not doing it is a major sin. So use tricks as you have mentioned, and intend to fast from the night before. Then if you cannot find any means of continuing to fast, and you are afraid that you will be found out, it is permissible for you to break the fast, then you must make it up.
See the answer to question no. 188856 .
5. Praying Jumu‘ah with the Muslims is one of the most emphasized obligations, and the one who fails to do it without an excuse is subject to the stern warning, as Muslim (865) narrated from ‘Abdullah ibn ‘Umar and Abu Hurayrah that they heard the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) say on the planks of his minbar (pulpit): “People must cease neglecting Jumu‘ah, or Allah will put a seal over their hearts and they will truly be among the negligent.”
Abu Dawood (1052), an-Nasaa’i (1369), at-Tirmidhi (500) and Ibn Maajah (1125) narrated from Abu’l-Ja‘d ad-Damri that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Whoever fails to pray Jumu‘ah three times, out of negligence, a seal will be placed over his heart.” Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood.
You can give as a reason that you are going to study or see a friend or go out to buy something or go for a walk from the morning, and you can attend the prayer only, not the khutbah (sermon).
6. With regard to reward, everything that you do not do because of an excuse, whilst being eager and keen to do it, you will be rewarded for it, as it was narrated by al-Bukhaari (4423) from Anas ibn Maalik (may Allah be pleased with him) that when the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) returned from the campaign to Tabook and he drew close to Madinah, he said: “Indeed in Madinah there are people and you did not travel any distance or cross any valley but they were with you [that is, in reward].” They said: O Messenger of Allah, whilst they were in Madinah? He said: “Whilst they were in Madinah; they were kept behind by excuses.”
Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on him) said in al-Fath: This indicates that by means of his intention, a person may attain the reward of the one who does an action, if an excuse prevents him from doing it. End quote.
In conclusion, we would like to tell you that we were very happy to receive your question, and to learn of the blessing that Allah has bestowed upon you. We are happy to correspond with you and to answer your questions, and we ask Allah, may He be exalted, to make you steadfast and to make things easy for you the path of guidance.
And Allah knows best.