Children Wearing Short and Tight Clothes
Question

                What is the ruling on wearing shorts for children who are
    approaching the age of puberty? What should I do if my daughter
    refuses to wear hijab and the abayah (outer cloak)? What should
    I do with my husband? He is a very strict man and I suffer a
    great deal with him. He wants to protect our children from
    everything that is haram (unlawful), even if he does it
    himself, and what is the way out in this world where everyone
    who follows Islam these days is very strict about everything.
    In light of all that I am facing of problems and difficulties,
    how can I learn about Islam? They say it is not permissible to
    disobey the husband. What can I do if I do not trust his
    knowledge, how can I follow what he tells me? What is the
    solution?
Praise be to Allah.
      Firstly:  
    

      Ships that cross the ocean and
      carry people cannot travel without a captain to navigate them
      so that they will bring their passengers to the safe shore.
      The Muslim family now is like a ship on a turbulent sea of
      trials and tribulations and things that may lead to doom. The
      enemies of Islam have united to weaken the Muslim family and
      indeed to wipe it out, and they are using all possible means
      to achieve that. These global conferences that move from one
      country to another, led by global organisations and leaders,
      have the sole aim of destroying the Muslim family, severing
      its bonds, taking away its modesty and killing its chastity.
      These satellite channels have a bad effect on the Muslim
      family; these newspapers and magazines and other media are
      all trying to achieve one goal that is obvious to any
      observer. 
    

      It is through these crashing
      waves that the ship of the Muslim family must sail, and if it
      does not have a wise and rational captain, then it will be
      wrecked. 
    

      The head of the family is the
      captain of that ship. We do not blame any father who fears
      temptation or corruption for his family and children. These
      corruptions have become too many and too strong for the head
      of the family to resist them on his own, so how about if that
      is compounded by his wife not helping him in that? Indeed,
      how will it be if she opposes him in his efforts to save the
      family from these temptations and corruptions? 
    

      You should understand that the
      matter is not trivial and that you have to be the best help
      to your husband in guiding the members of your family. Even
      if you are not convinced of his rulings and decisions, you
      should not oppose him or go against him, especially in front
      of your children, because that will have an extremely bad
      effect on the upbringing of your children. 
    

      What the father wants from his
      family members will be something supported and enjoined by an
      Islamic text or something that he thinks is in the best
      interests of his children, so he enjoins it because it is in
      their best interests, or he forbids it because it is
      detrimental to them. If there is any room for discussion with
      regard to the latter issue, there is no room for discussion
      with regard to the former, because sharee‘ah (Islamic law)
      governs all our actions and we do not have the option of not
      accepting it and implementing it. 
    

      Secondly: 
    

      You should understand that
      Allah, may He be exalted, has commanded you and your husband
      to protect yourselves against His Fire, and also to protect
      your children. The matter is not trivial; rather it is
      extremely serious. Your husband is not the only one who will
      be asked about his flock; rather you will be asked likewise.
       
    

      Allah says (interpretation of
      the meaning):
    

      “O you who believe! Ward off
      yourselves and your families against a Fire (Hell) whose fuel
      is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern
      (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands
      they receive from Allaah, but do that which they are
      commanded”
    

      [al-Tahreem
      66:6]. 
    

      It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allah
      ibn ‘Umar (may Allah be pleased with him) said: I heard the
      Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him)
      say: “Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is
      responsible for his flock. The ruler of the people is a
      shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the
      shepherd of his household and is responsible for his flock. A
      woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and children and
      is responsible for her flock. The slave is the shepherd of
      his master’s wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you is
      a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his
      flock.”
    

      Narrated by al-Bukhaari (853)
      and Muslim (1829). 
    

      You should understand that
      raising your children should not be done with harshness and
      cruelty, nor should they be neglected. 
    

      The scholars of the Standing
      Committee were asked: What is the successful way for parents
      to raise their children? 
    

      They replied: The successful way
      to raise children is the moderate or middle way, in which
      there is no excessive strictness or neglect. There should be
      no violence or harshness, and there should be no neglect or
      carelessness. The father should raise his children, teach
      them, direct them and guide them to good characteristics and
      etiquette, and he should forbid to them every bad
      characteristic or attitude. 
    

      And Allah is the source of
      strength; may Allah send blessings and peace upon our Prophet
      Muhammad and his family and Companions. End
      quote. 
    

      Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz,
      Shaykh ‘Abd al-Razzaaq ‘Afeefi, Shaykh ‘Abd-Allah ibn
      Ghadyaan 
    

      Fataawa al-Lajnah
      al-Daa’imah, 25/290,
      291 
    

      Thirdly: 
    

      You should understand that Islam
      enjoins you to teach your children to pray when they are
      seven years old, and it enjoins you to separate them in their
      beds when they are ten years old. This is so that they will
      grow up in the best way and so that they will be righteous in
      the future. Even if they are not yet accountable – because
      they have not yet reached puberty – this does not mean that
      their guardians and families should not instruct them to do
      that which is in their best interests. The command here is
      addressed to you, not to them. The matter here is what is
      good for them and for you. 
    

      In this way you can raise them
      to have a good character and attitude in general, to be
      modest and especially to be chaste. That also includes
      instructing them to guard their chastity and not to wear
      tight or short clothes. On the one hand, this has to do with
      raising them to be modest and chaste; on the other hand it
      has to do with preventing provocation of desire and
      temptation in those who see them, whether they are members of
      the family or relatives – for example. Islam cannot enjoin
      you to separate them in their beds and then allow you to let
      them wear short and tight clothes all the time they are
      awake! So think about this and beware lest you be the cause
      of fitnah (temptation) and corruption for which all the water
      in the sea could not provide sufficient tears and which would
      lead to great sorrow and regret.  
    

      Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih
      al-‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked:
    

      We often see in women’s
      gatherings girls and young girls, around the age of seven
      years, wearing short or tight clothes, or strange haircuts,
      or haircuts for small girls that look like haircuts for boys.
      If we speak to the mothers and try to advise them, they argue
      that the children are still small. We hope that you can give
      us clear advice about children’s clothing and haircuts, may
      Allah bless you. 
    

      He replied:
    

      It is well known that the
      individual is influenced by things in his childhood and will
      continue to be affected by them after he grows up. Hence the
      Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) enjoined
      us to instruct our children to pray when they are seven years
      old, and to smack them (lightly) if they do not pray when
      they reach the age of ten, so that they will get used to it,
      as the child will follow that which he is used to. If a young
      girl gets used to wearing short clothes that only come to the
      knee, and short sleeves that only come to the elbow or
      shoulder, she will lose all modesty and will want to wear
      these clothes after she grows up. The same applies with
      regard to hair; a woman should have a hairstyle that is
      different from that of men; if she makes the hair like a
      man’s hair, she will be resembling men and the Prophet
      (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) cursed women who
      resemble men. 
    

      It should be noted that the
      family is responsible for these children and their upbringing
      and education, as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah
      be upon him) said: “A man is the shepherd of his household
      and is responsible for his flock.” So beware of being
      heedless; the father should be serious about the upbringing
      of his sons and daughters, and he should care for them, so
      that Allah will guide them and they will become a delight to
      him. End quote. 
    

      Al-Liqa’
      al-Shahri,
      66/10 
    

      Fourthly: 
    

      If a girl is brought up from an
      early age to be modest and chaste and to cover herself, she
      will be the one who wants to wear the abayah and khimaar
      (head cover), even before she reaches puberty. But if she
      grows up not wearing clothes that cover, and her family fell
      short when she was small, they (now) have to persist in
      advising and reminding her. If that does not convince her,
      then harsher measures may be used, sparingly, to prevent her
      from doing what she wants, so that she will have no room to
      do whatever she wants with regard to this matter and others,
      because if they keep quiet about her clothing, because she
      refuses to wear the abayah or covering clothes, she will dare
      to do other things. This is a signal that the ship is about
      to sink! Because decisions are now in the hands of the
      children. At the beginning, we advocated gentleness and
      kindness, not despairing of the child being set straight, and
      not using harsh methods except when the wise captain sees
      fit. 
    

      The Standing Committee for
      Issuing Fatwas was asked: At what age is a girl obliged to
      wear hijab (dress code stipulated for mature girls in Islam)?
      Should we force (female) students to wear it, even though
      they object? 
    

      They replied: 
    

      When a girl reaches puberty, it
      becomes obligatory for her to wear clothes that will cover
      her ‘awrah (parts of the body which must be covered), which
      includes the face, head and hands, whether she is a student
      or not. Her guardian should instruct her to do that, even if
      she dislikes it, and he should train her to do that before
      she reaches puberty, so that she will get used to it, and it
      will be easy for her to obey. 
    

      Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz,
      Shaykh ‘Abd al-Razzaaq ‘Afeefi, Shaykh ‘Abd-Allah ibn
      Ghadyaan, Shaykh ‘Abd-Allah ibn Qa‘ood 
    

      End quote. 
    

      Fataawa al-Lajnah
      al-Daa’imah, 17/219,
      220 
    

      So be the best help to your
      husband in obeying Allah and raising your children, and
      beware of following in the footsteps of the enemies of Islam
      in describing adherence to sharee‘ah as extreme strictness.
      Whatever your husband falls short in with regard to himself,
      advise him and exhort him, and remind him to fear Allah, the
      Lord of the Worlds; do not take his shortcomings as an excuse
      for your children’s shortcomings. Seek the help of Allah,
      your Lord, to fulfil this trust in the best manner. We ask
      Allah, may He be exalted, to help you to do that which
      pleases Him. 
    

      In the answer to question no.
      10016 we have discussed
      how to raise children to be righteous. 
    

      In the answer to question no.
      10211 we have discussed
      the correct way to teach small children and call them to
      Islam. 
    

      And Allah knows
      best.