Her Son is Autistic and Attacks Her; Should She Pray for His Death?
Question

I have an autistic child, and I always pray for his death because I can no longer support him. As he grows older and stronger, he hits me, and his father has left us. I have tried spiritual healing (Ruqyah), enrolled him in centers, taught him, and made vows, but Allah has not willed his recovery. What is the ruling on my praying for his death, as I say, “O Allah, heal him or take him soon, not later”?
Praise be to Allah.Praying for Death is Not Permissible
Dear sister, such prayers are not permissible, as the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) prohibited praying against oneself or one’s children.
Muslim (3014) narrated from Jabir ibn `Abdullah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Do not pray against yourselves, nor against your children, nor against your wealth, lest you coincide with a moment when Allah is asked for something, and He grants it.”
If you believe that Allah Almighty might respond to your prayer for the child’s death, why do you not believe that He might also respond to your prayer for his healing and improvement, and that He might decree good for him?
Guidance from Scholars
Ibn `Uthaymin (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about a woman who prayed for her son’s death because he imitated his father in committing prohibited acts. She disliked him for not fearing Allah and prayed against him.
He responded, saying: “As for praying for her son’s death: this is wrong, and it is not appropriate for a person to pray for the death of someone who is astray. Rather, it is better to advise him and ask Allah for his guidance. For matters are in the hands of Allah, and hearts are between two of His fingers; He turns them as He wills. How often has someone despaired of something’s occurrence, only for Allah Almighty to make it happen. So, do not rule out, O woman, that Allah may guide your son. Pray for his guidance, keep advising him, and Allah is capable of all things.” (End quote from Fatawa Nur ‘ala Ad-Darb, 6/13-14).
What You Should Do
The advice for you is to cease praying against your son. Instead, your prayers should be for his healing, guidance, and the attainment of good in this world and the hereafter. Pray that Allah grants you his dutifulness and protects you from his harm.
You can also seek help from a male Mahram (the husband or someone whom a woman is never permitted to marry) who can maintain a constant presence, so that your son may fear him and stop harming you.
For further benefit, please refer to the answer to question (75399).
We ask Allah, the Generous, to heal your son and relieve your distress.
And Allah knows best.