She is suffering from a skin disease on her face that prompted her to attempt suicide
Question

                I have a skin disease on my face, known as melasma. I am studying in college, but I asked my mother to let me off completing this semester until I receive treatment, because my face looks like this: My nose is white, but my right cheek is black and my left cheek is a little lighter than the right. This has caused me psychological distress which no one knows except Allah, may He be glorified and exalted. But my mother categorically refused, and my oldest brother – who is responsible for me after the death of my father (may Allah have mercy on him) – also refused. Please note that I have attempted suicide on several occasions because of this matter, but my family are only aware of one occasion, when I tried to cut my wrists in front of my mother. But she still insists on not letting me off this semester. I am crying most of the time, and I have become very nervous. I pray to Allah to grant me speedy healing. The students and teachers at the college do not help me much, and their glances tell me that I am ugly, and the way they treat me also indicates that. This is in addition to the hurtful words they say behind my back, or sometimes to my face. 
I cannot bear it any longer, and I often think of suicide. Every time I repent, I go back and try to commit suicide again, but nothing happens to me. I don’t know if it is because Allah loves me or because He is angry with me and wants to punish me. Sometimes I think bad thoughts, that I hate Allah – I ask Allah to forgive me – or that Allah does not love me, even though my intention is good and I love all people. Please help me, because I do not know what to do.

I hope you will help me, O shaykh, and pray to Allah to heal me soon; perhaps Allah will answer your supplication, O shaykh.
Praise be to Allah.
	Many people in this world live 
	with wrong ideas, because of which they think that what they have of good 
	health, or wealth and comfort, safety and security, are all permanent states 
	that will never change or alter. Yet every day they see the sickness, pain 
	and problems that befall people around them, or in nearby countries, and 
	they think that they are safe from that, or that Allah, may He be glorified 
	and exalted, has singled them out for protection and care, to the exclusion 
	of all other people. 

	Some of them remain hopeful, and 
	perhaps immersed in wishful thinking, until they are suddenly faced with a 
	calamity that they never took into account, and they have no means of 
	warding off the anxiety and distress that has come upon them. 

	One of the most important things 
	that all of us should become accustomed to – in order to be able to overcome 
	the calamities of this world – is to constantly be aware of our 
	circumstances and be prepared for any calamity or problem that may befall 
	us. Indeed we should expect the vicissitudes of time that may befall us, for 
	it is impossible for things to remain the same all the time. One of the most 
	serious delusions with which people live is the idea that one will live and 
	die far away from any trial or calamity. For the Prophets were faced with 
	the gravest trials and calamities and suffered all kinds of illness and 
	sickness. Some of them were imprisoned, some of them were killed, some of 
	them were driven out by their people, while others were persecuted and 
	tortured. This also befell the scholars and the righteous after them, and 
	this is what we see nowadays in many of the Muslim countries around us, 
	where people are going through all kinds of calamities night and day, such 
	as no one knows except Allah, may He be glorified and exalted. 

	All of that should prompt you to 
	ask the natural and logical question: are you dearer to Allah than all of 
	these people? Or do you have a covenant from Allah that He will protect you 
	from all calamities, to the exclusion of all other people? Or were all of 
	these people evildoers who deserved what befell them? Or is your heart so 
	pure that you do not deserve the test which Allah is giving you? Allah, may 
	He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): 
	

	{And as for 
	man, when his Lord tries him and [thus] is generous to him and favors him, 
	he says, "My Lord has honored me."

	But when He 
	tries him and restricts his provision, he says, "My Lord has humiliated me."} 
	(al-Fajr 89:15-16).

	If you wish, we can remind you 
	that what has befallen you, no matter how hard it is, is easy in comparison 
	to what may befall others who are patient and seek reward with Allah, and we 
	invite you to look at the state of women who are held captive, oppressed and 
	persecuted in prisons, and those who are incapacitated by illness and 
	calamity to the extent that they will never again be able to move or speak 
	or talk. What is your situation in comparison to theirs? 

	We appreciate what you say and 
	we feel sad for what has befallen you and you are a university student, but 
	we also appreciate the blessings that Allah has bestowed upon you and upon 
	all His slaves. We know that if you were to follow the advice given by the 
	Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) to those who are 
	afflicted by calamity, what you are suffering would become easier to bear. 

	It was narrated that Abu 
	Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah 
	(blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Look at the one who is at 
	a lower level than you, and do not look at the one who is above you, for 
	that may keep you from scorning the blessing of Allah.” (Narrated 
	by Muslim (2963)) 

	You are not suffering from 
	physical pain that tears you apart, Allah forbid, and what you are suffering 
	is not causing extreme poverty that forces you to beg from people; you are 
	not being subjected to oppression and injustice from the most evil of 
	people. As for the healthy and well-off people you see around you, you are 
	only seeing their external appearances. If you were able to examine their 
	true situations, you would see in them and in their families, calamities and 
	hardship the likes of which has never crossed your mind, and if you knew 
	anything about it you would praise Allah for the well-being that you have. 

	The truly happy one is the one 
	who praises Allah, may He be exalted, for his situation and is pleased with 
	his Lord and his Lord is pleased with him; he accepts whatever He decrees 
	with a contented heart, and with hope for that which is with Allah, may He 
	be glorified, of compensation and an immense reward. This world is fleeting 
	and will not last forever, and these calamities are but reminders to us, so 
	that we will not love that which is transient and forget the Hereafter. In 
	fact, they are a mercy and a gift from Allah, may He be glorified and 
	exalted, so that we will not transgress and disbelieve, and so that we will 
	not forget and fall short. Thus we will be constantly aware that we are on a 
	journey and will gather provisions for it by doing righteous deeds and 
	fearing Allah a great deal, for the best of provision is fear of Allah. 

	We need spiritual strength with 
	which to face our calamities, and we cannot attain that except by 
	contemplating the ideas discussed above and by reminding ourselves of the 
	other blessings that we enjoy, of which many people are deprived. Over and 
	above all that, each of us needs to live an active and productive life so 
	that we may attain the goals that are set for all Muslims, namely to attain 
	true servitude to Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, and to spread 
	values and virtues and bring happiness to all people. When we focus on that 
	goal, and live and die to achieve and fulfil it, only then will these 
	obstacles in our path become insignificant to us, and we will realise that 
	everything that is less than hellfire and the wrath of the Almighty is 
	bearable and can be endured. 

	It was narrated that Jabir (may 
	Allah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace 
	of Allah be upon him) said: “On the Day of Resurrection, those who were 
	healthy and well-off will wish, when they see the reward that is given to 
	those who suffered calamities, that their skin had been cut with scissors in 
	this world.” (Narrated 
	by at-Tirmidhi (no. 2402). He said: A ghareeb hadith. It was classed as 
	hasan (good) by al-Albani in Saheeh at-Tirmidhi) 

	So focus on your studies, for we 
	do not advise you to delay them because of your sickness. If everyone who 
	suffered a setback were to stop striving for success and achievement, 
	because of what has befallen him, no human would ever reach any goal and all 
	people would fail to achieve their aims. We would like to suggest that you 
	wear niqab, for it is an act of obedience to Allah and a means of drawing 
	closer to Him; moreover, it will spare you from the feeling that people are 
	always looking at you. If there is another college similar to the one where 
	you are studying, and you can transfer there and start over in a new 
	environment, that would be a good idea. 

	You should understand that 
	Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, has honoured you by saving you from 
	death and your attempts at suicide, for He has protected you from that grave 
	sin and has opened to you the door of repentance from those evil, devilish 
	whispers. This is one of the signs of goodness, praise be to Allah, for 
	which you should give thanks to Allah by doing righteous deeds, repenting 
	sincerely and asking for forgiveness for all the attempts that you have made 
	at suicide. When you call to mind the grave sin of the one who commits this 
	major sin, you will realise the greatness of the blessing that Allah has 
	bestowed upon you. Life is a precious and unique opportunity that will not 
	be repeated, and the ummah needs you to succeed and achieve great things in 
	your field. You are a brick in the great structure of our ummah, so you 
	should never feel weak or unable to contribute anything good, no matter how 
	small. 

	It was narrated that Nafi‘ said: 
	When Ibn ‘Umar sat in a gathering, he would not leave before he offered 
	supplication for his companions by saying these words, and he said that the 
	Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) used to offer 
	this supplication for his Companions in any gathering: “O Allah, allocate to 
	us a share of fear of You that will serve as a barrier between us and 
	disobedience towards You; and a share of obedience to You that will enable 
	us to reach Your Paradise; and a share of certain faith that will make it 
	easy for us to bear the calamities of this world. O Allah, let us enjoy our 
	hearing, our sight and our strength so long as You keep us alive, and let 
	that stay with us until the moment we die; help us to settle the score with 
	those who wrong us; support us against those who show enmity to us; do not 
	let our calamity affect our religious commitment; do not let this world be 
	the focus of our concern or the sum of our knowledge; and do not let people 
	gain power over us who will not show us mercy.” (Narrated by an-Nasai in 
	as-Sunan al-Kubra (9/154); at-Tirmidhi in as-Sunan (no. 3502) – 
	he said: It is hasan ghareeb. It was classed as saheeh by al-Albani in 
	Saheeh at-Tirmidhi). 

	It was narrated from ‘Ata ibn 
	as-Saib that his father said: ‘Ammar ibn Yasir led us in prayer, and he made 
	it brief. Some of the people said to him: You have made the prayer brief. He 
	said: But in it I offered a supplication that I heard from the Messenger of 
	Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him). When he left, one of the 
	people – namely my father – followed him, and asked him about the 
	supplication, then he came and told the people about it: “O Allah, by virtue 
	of Your knowledge of the unseen and Your power over creation, grant me life 
	so long as You know that life is good for me, and cause me to die if You 
	know that death is good for me. O Allah, I ask You to enable me to fear You 
	in private and in public, and I ask You to enable me to speak the truth 
	whether I am calm or angry, and I ask You for moderation in spending whether 
	I am poor or rich. I ask You for blessing that will never end, and I ask You 
	for delight that will never cease, and I ask You for contentment after Your 
	decree comes to pass, and I ask You for a life of bliss after death, and I 
	ask You for the joy of gazing upon Your Countenance, and longing to meet 
	You, with no unbearable harm or misleading turmoil. O Allah, adorn us with 
	the adornment of faith and cause us to be guided and to guide others. 
	(Narrated by an-Nasai 
	in al-Mujtaba (no. 1305); classed as saheeh by al-Albani in Saheeh 
	an-Nasai)

	For more information, please see 
	fatwas no. 
	
	21677 and
	
	
	111938

	And Allah knows best.