Marrying a woman from the people of innovation, and are conditions stipulated by the woman’s guardians binding?
Question

                I am engaged with a girl recently. My family was not happy with this engagement initially because both families are not of the same cast (Cast system is dominant here in Sub-continent).Now the things are normal. But the problem is that my parents lived in a village and I lived in another city for seek of my job and study. Some of the relatives of my spouse also live in the same village (also her relatives are not happy about this engagement. The only reason is cast difference). My mother in law is insisting that she would not be going to marry her daughter me until I buy a house at city where I am living for my job/study (I visit my parent twice a month) and also marriage ceremony will not take place at my village. They conveyed these two statements to me. I clearly told them before the engagement that I have not enough resources to buy a house in city but I will take one on rent and so far as marriage is concerned it will take place at village. But right know they are insisting to do at city and also buy house first otherwise they will break this engagement. Both of these are not possible for me and I know it in advance that my parents will also not agree to have marriage ceremony at some other place. My parents are of the view that after marriage, they will help us to shift to city. I liked the girl very much and in fact I prayed for her for many times. I fear that if I say that both of your conditions are not possible for me they will negate the engagement. I do not want to lose the girl. I am really confused about that, I know Allah will do well for me Inshahallah; I just want more on this from you. Also should I clear them about my condition once again? Please take this all in consideration and suggest me some useful guide lines fro Quran and Sunnah as soon as possible.
Praise be to Allah.
    We do not really understand what you are saying about your 
    family and your fiancée’s family being from different castes. However, if 
    what you mean by caste is tribe or clan or lineage, then the matter is 
    simple and does not need any discussion from us; you will find information 
    in question no. 13780 about this matter. 

    But if what you mean by caste is that she belongs to a sect 
    that has different beliefs than yours – and we think that you are of ahl 
    al-sunnah (a Sunni) – then in this case we must point out to you that among 
    the sects that claim to belong to Islam are some that are beyond the pale of 
    Islam, and some which have deviated from the path of ahl al-sunnah 
    wa’l-jamaa’ah. Examples of the former include the Qadianis (Ahmadis), 
    Ismailis, Huloolis, Raafidis (Shi’ah) and the Bareilawis. Examples of the 
    latter include the Ash’aris, Maatreedis and Murja’is. 

    If your fiancée follows the beliefs of one the of sects that 
    are beyond the pale of Islam, then it is not permissible for you to marry 
    her, because they comes under the rulings on mushriks because of their 
    apostasy from Islam. If she follows the beliefs of one of the misguided 
    groups, then it is permissible for you to marry her, but you should be 
    cautious about that, because the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah 
    be upon him) advised marrying women who are religiously-committed, so that 
    the husband’s own ‘aqeedah would be safe with her, and so that he can trust 
    her with his family and children. 

    ‘Imraan ibn Hittaan was one of ahl al-Sunnah, and he married 
    a Khaariji woman in order to set her straight, but then he ended up becoming 
    one of the leaders of the Khawaarij. 

    See: Siyar A’laam al-Nubala’ by al-Dhahabi (2/214). 

    There are stern warnings narrated from the righteous salaf 
    against sitting with and keeping company with the people of innovation and 
    whims and desires. 

    Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: 

    Do not sit with people who follow whims and desires, for 
    sitting with them sickens the heart. 

    Tafseer al-Tabari (4/328). 

    Abu’l-Jawza’ said: 

    Because sitting with pigs is dearer to me than sitting with 
    any of those who follow their whims and desires. 

    Al-Ibaanah by Ibn Battah 
    (2/438). 

    Abu Qilaabah said: 

    Do not sit with the people who follow their whims and 
    desires, or talk with them, for I am not sure that they will not tempt you 
    into their misguided ways or confuse you about what you know.  

    Siyar A’laam al-Nubala’ 
    (4/372). 

    Whatever the case, no doubt marrying a woman from ahl 
    al-sunnah is better for you and your family and your children, unless this 
    woman is like that because she is living among followers of innovation, and 
    perhaps you will be rewarded for bringing her out of that atmosphere.  

    See also the answer to question no. 
    85370. 

    Secondly: 

    It is not permissible for you to hold wedding celebrations 
    that include haraam things such as music, dancing and mixing. If that was 
    stipulated previously, it is a false condition and you do not have to fulfil 
    it. 

    In the answer to question no. 
    7577 we have explained how to 
    deal with such situations. 

    In the answer to question no. 
    9290 you will find information 
    on what it is permissible to use and listen to in celebrations. 

    If they insist on having a party – so long as it is free of 
    sin – then you can have two smaller parties – as is usually done by people 
    in your situation – one in their village and another with your own people.

    Thirdly: 

    With regard to their stipulating that you should buy a house, 
    they have no right to stipulate that you should do that, unless that house 
    will be for their daughter and they want you to put it in her name. There is 
    no reason why the wife should not stipulate that the husband provide her 
    with accommodation in her own land, or in some other place, and after 
    marriage she has the right, if she wishes, to keep it or waive that right. 

    It is not up to the wife’s family to stipulate the conditions 
    of marriage unless they are doing it on behalf of their daughter, or the 
    conditions are in her interests. But if her guardian stipulates something 
    that has nothing to do with his daughter, that is not permissible. Rather 
    conditions are to be stipulated by the wife or by her guardian on her 
    behalf. In principle the guardian only has the right to agree to the 
    marriage or not. Even the mahr (dowry) belongs to the wife and she is the 
    one who stipulates it or delegates her guardian to stipulate it on her 
    behalf. 

    The wife or her guardian may stipulate that you will live in 
    their locality, and you are obliged to fulfil that condition, but they do 
    not have the right to stipulate whether the house will be bought or rented. 

    If you want them to drop this condition altogether, or at 
    least agree that the house is to be rented and not bought, then you must be 
    gentle in negotiating with them, and seek the help of knowledgeable and wise 
    people to speak to your fiancée’s family, and pray to Allaah to make things 
    easy for you.

     See also the answers to questions no. 
    20757 and 
    10343. 

    We advise you to pray istikhaarah, for you may think that 
    this woman will be good for you and your children when in fact that is not 
    the case. We are ignorant and must seek the help of our Lord Who knows what 
    is best for His slave and decrees that for him. We are helpless so we must 
    seek the help of our Lord Who is able to make things easy or not, and He is 
    able to divert things and prevent them from happening. For more details 
    about the istikhaarah prayer, please see the answer to question no. 
    2217. 

    We hope that we have answered your question fully. We would 
    also remind you of the importance of making a good choice when seeking a 
    wife, and choosing one who is religiously committed, follows sound beliefs 
    and is of good character. We ask Allaah to grant you a righteous wife who 
    can help you to obey your Lord and protect you from that which is forbidden 
    to you. 

    And Allaah knows best.