His mother’s husband brought him up; is he entitled to the same kindness, du‘aa’ and upholding of ties as his real father?
Question

                My father divorced my mother because she asked him to, because he used to drink alcohol, but, praise be to Allah, he repented before he died. My mother got married (to someone else) before my father died, and we were with her, so my mother’s husband brought me up from the age of seven years, and I used to call him father, and he used to treat me and my brothers exactly like his own sons. This man did not have any children from my mother, even though he could have married another wife. Now I am grown up, but this relationship is still ongoing between us, and is like the relationship of a son with his father; nothing has changed. Please note that I have never stopped praying for my deceased father. Am I doing anything wrong with regard to what is mentioned above?

There are some people who think that this is my father, because they see the way we interact like a son with his father, and because the name of my mother’s husband is like my father’s name, and I cannot tell everyone who sees me with him that he is not my real father. This is something very difficult, and it also hurts him because he spent his whole life bringing us up. Please note that if anyone asks me whether this is my mother’s husband, I tell him the truth. Is this adoption? What do you advise me to do in my dealings with him, because I feel that I pray for one of them more than the other. Am I sinning in that?

Is it permissible for me to give in charity on his behalf after he dies (may Allah grant him long life), and to do Hajj on his behalf just as any son would do, and will I be rewarded for honouring him as I would be rewarded for honouring my father? Please advise me, may Allah reward you with good.
Praise be to Allah.
      The father has rights over his son, even if he behaves 
      badly, does wrong or persists in sin, because his right to kind treatment 
      and obedience in that which is right and proper is guaranteed according to 
      the Islamic texts. If Allah, may He be exalted, has affirmed the rights of 
      a mushrik father – and even one who calls his children to ascribe partners 
      to their Lord, may He be glorified and exalted – to respect and kind 
      treatment, then a father whose wrongdoing is less serious than that is 
      even more entitled to that respect and kind treatment. Allah, may He be 
      exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “But 
      if they (both) strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others 
      that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not, but behave with 
      them in the world kindly, and follow the path of him who turns to Me in 
      repentance and in obedience. Then to Me will be your return, and I shall 
      tell you what you used to do” 
      [Luqmaan 31:15]. 

    Hence it is known that no matter how kindly your mother’s husband treated 
    you and how many favours he did for you, your father’s rights over you are 
    greater. If you fell short in upholding your father’s rights when he was 
    still alive, then you must ask Allah for forgiveness for that, and offer a 
    great deal of supplication for him for mercy and forgiveness, and give 
    charity on his behalf, according to your means, for these are ways of 
    honouring him after his death. The scholars of the Standing Committee for 
    Issuing Fatwas said: The Sunnah indicates that it is prescribed to honour 
    parents after they die, by offering supplication for them, carrying out 
    their last wishes, upholding ties of kinship that you would not have except 
    through them, and honouring their friends.

    End quote from Fataawa al-Lajnah ad-Daa’imah (25/182 

    Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Part of honouring one’s 
    parents is giving charity on their behalf, offering supplication for them, 
    and doing Hajj and ‘umrah on their behalf.

    End quote from Majmoo‘ Fataawa Ibn Baaz (8/344) 

    With regard to calling your mother’s husband “father”, there is nothing 
    wrong with that if it is by way of honouring and showing respect, not by way 
    of attributing yourself to him. We have discussed this with evidence and in 
    detail in fatwa no. 100329 

    With regard to giving charity on behalf of your mother’s husband – after his 
    death – and doing Hajj on his behalf, this is permissible and indeed is 
    recommended, because it comes under the heading of returning favours and 
    acknowledging kindness. The scholars stated that the deceased may benefit 
    from charity given on his behalf. It says in Tuhfat al-Muhtaaj 
    (7/72): The deceased may benefit from charity given on his behalf, which 
    includes donating a Mushaf and the like as a waqf, digging a well, or 
    planting a tree during his lifetime or after his death. End quote. 

    The scholars also stated that the deceased may benefit from Hajj done on his 
    behalf. Shaykh Ibn Baaz (may Allah have mercy on him) said: Hajj on behalf 
    of the deceased, or ‘umrah on behalf of the deceased, is one of the best 
    acts of worship. The Muslim deceased may benefit a great deal from it. The 
    Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) was asked about that many 
    times, and he said to the questioners, both male and female: “Do Hajj on 
    behalf of your father” and “Do Hajj on behalf of your mother.” Someone else 
    said to him: I have entered ihram on behalf of Shubrumah. He said: “Who is 
    Shubrumah?” He said: A brother of mine – or a relative of mine. He said: “Do 
    Hajj on your own behalf (first), then do Hajj on behalf of Shubrumah.” 
    People fall into different categories. Some of them did the obligatory Hajj 
    and the obligatory ‘umrah (when they were alive); in this case if Hajj is 
    done on such a person’s behalf, then it is naafil (supererogatory), and if 
    ‘umrah is done on his behalf, it is naafil. If his brother or father or 
    relative or one of his brothers in Islam does Hajj on his behalf, all of 
    that is good, and the same applies to ‘umrah. If he had not done Hajj or 
    ‘Umrah, then the one who does Hajj on his behalf has done the obligatory  
    Hajj on his behalf, and likewise the one who does ‘umrah on his behalf has 
    done the obligatory ‘umrah. In all cases, he will be rewarded and the 
    deceased will be rewarded; both of them will be rewarded – the one who does 
    it will be rewarded for his good deed and kindness towards his brother, and 
    the deceased will also be rewarded for that. The same applies to giving 
    charity, and to offering supplication. If he gives charity on his brother’s 
    behalf, both he and the deceased will be rewarded, and if he prays for his 
    deceased brother, he will be rewarded and the deceased will benefit from the 
    supplication. 

    End quote from the shaykh’s website on the following link:


    http://www.binbaz.org.za/mat/14148

    It should be noted that if a person wants to do Hajj on behalf of someone 
    else, he must first have done Hajj on his own behalf, as we have explained 
    in fatwa no. 1463

    Finally, we should point out that your honouring your father and your 
    parents in general, whether that is during their lifetime or after their 
    death, by offering supplication for them, giving charity on their behalf, 
    and so on, brings greater reward than your kindness to your mother’s husband 
    or anyone else.. 

    And Allah knows best.