Her husband no longer treats her well because she had a relationship with another man
Question

                My problem in brief is that I knew a man through a forum then messenger then mobile. My husband found out about this relationship and was very angry. He said to me: “You would be divorced if we do not have children, but I will be patient and will marry another woman.” 

I knew my mistake and I have repented and started over new page. I seek Allah’s forgiveness and thank Him all the time. But my husband keeps insulting me all the time until I hated him, but I have to be patient, I tried to love him and obey him in matters I was not obeying him about before. I am tired of his demands but I do not say any word objecting to this. He keeps insulting and slandering me, he does not stop reminding me of the previous relationship with the other man. Few months later, that man started calling me and sending text messages again. I feared my husband’s reaction; as he asks me to answer in front of him if any strange number rings. If I refuse he says to me: “answer, it may be that man” and if I answer and find it wrong number he says: “It must be a code between you”. 

What shall I do? I became in constant fear of my mobile, I hide it all the time, and I fear it rings while my husband is around; because he would doubt me. 

What shall I do with that man? I am bored of my life, I wish I die. All I can do is recite Quraan.
Praise be to Allah.
    Desire continues to grow in the heart of the son of Adam 
    until it destroys him, and no one is deprived of contentment but he will 
    find himself lost in the valleys of confusion and depression, turning right 
    and left in the hope of finding that which he wishes and longs for to give 
    him satisfaction, but nothing will fill the heart of the son of Adam but 
    dust, and Allaah accepts the repentance of those who repent. 

    The worst of desire is that which leads to transgression 
    against the sanctity and honour of others, such as desire for the wives of 
    other Muslims which leads to transgression against their honour, or when 
    women desire young Muslim men and a woman is not content with the husband 
    with whom Allaah has blessed her. The Muslims all know that pleasure cannot 
    be attained by disobeying Allaah, may He be exalted, and that happiness can 
    only be attained by obeying and heeding the sacred limits of Allaah. 

    Sin was the cause that led to the downfall of previous 
    nations. Do you think that it can be the cause of a person’s happiness? Sin 
    is also the path that leads to punishment, so do you want it to being 
    blessings? 

    Allaah, may He be glorified and exalted, says (interpretation 
    of the meaning): 

    “And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of 
    what your hands have earned. And He pardons much”

    [al-Shoora 42:30]

    It may be easy to fall into error, because the nafs is 
    inclined towards sin in pursuit of pleasure and whims and desires. But it is 
    difficult to bear the consequences and effects of those mistakes. 

    Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

    Patience in resisting desires is easier than patience in 
    dealing with the consequences that result from going along with desires, 
    because it either leads to pain and punishment or it prevents a more 
    complete pleasure, or it wastes time and leads to loss and regret, or it is 
    a violation of honour which one is better off not violating, or it is a loss 
    of wealth, keeping which is better than losing it, or it leads to a loss of 
    status and position, keeping which is better than losing it, or it deprives 
    one of a blessing, having which is more pleasurable and better than 
    fulfilling desires, or it gives an ignoble person cause to insult you when 
    he did not have this opportunity before, or it brings distress, sadness and 
    fear that cannot be matched by the pleasure of desire, or causes one to 
    forget knowledge, remembering which is better than fulfilling desires, or it 
    makes an enemy rejoice and makes a friend sad, or it cuts off an oncoming 
    blessing, or it has a negative impact on one’s character that will remain, 
    because deeds have a great impact on one’s character and behaviour. End 
    quote.  

    Al-Fawaa’id (p. 139) 

    And now the problem that you are facing today is no more than 
    the result of your accumulated mistakes and the sins that you took lightly, 
    then you did not repent properly from them. 

    As for your talking to that young man, it is one of the worst 
    things that could be done by a woman whom Allaah has blessed with a husband, 
    home and children. It is sufficient for her to look at the misery endured by 
    many others who are deprived of happy homes and a life of ease. 

    Your husband has taken care of rebuking and blaming you. He 
    tells you every day words that would make mountains tremble – as you 
    describe it. The point here is that you should understand in the depths of 
    your heart the seriousness of the error you have made. 

    As for what you say about your not fulfilling his desires and 
    needs before that, this is another sin which has had a big impact in 
    changing the situation of your family and bringing about this pain and 
    suffering. 

    Did you not know that obedience to the husband is obligatory 
    and that serving him and responding to his call and fulfilling his needs is 
    one of the best things that a wife can do, both before Allaah and before 
    other people?  It was narrated that Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (may Allaah have 
    mercy on him) said: A man came to the Prophet  (peace and blessings of 
    Allaah be upon him) and said: O Messenger of Allaah, this daughter of mine 
    refuses to get married. The Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be 
    upon him) said to her: “Obey your father.” She said: By the One Who sent you 
    with the truth, I will not get married until you tell me what the husband’s 
    rights over his wife are. He said: “The husband’s rights over his wife are 
    such that if he had an ulcer and she licked it, she would not have fulfilled 
    his rights.” Narrated by al-Nasaa’i in al-Sunan al-Kubra (2/283). 
    Al-Mundhiri said in al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb (3/98): Its isnaad is 
    jayyid. It was classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Jaami’ 
    (3148). 

    We will tell you frankly: The remedy begins with this idea: 

    It starts with obeying and pleasing Allaah, may He be 
    glorified, because calamities start with disobedience towards Him. Allaah 
    has promised the penitent that He will turn his bad deeds into good ones, 
    and He has promised to bestow grace and reward. 

    Repentance starts by resolving to give up the sin that one 
    has committed, and to cut off all haraam ties. In your case it starts with 
    cancelling the mobile phone altogether, and not going back to it until your 
    husband agrees to buy you a new number. If you do this then you will have 
    proven to your husband and to yourself that you are sincere in your 
    repentance and your desire to mend your ways. 

    How can you want your husband to overlook the past when you 
    yourself have not overlooked it and are going back to it?! 

    Your husband has done you a great favour by giving you 
    another chance to live with him. Perhaps the real reason for that is that he 
    loves you, otherwise the logical sequence of events would have been for this 
    story to lead to scandal, separation and divorce. But Allaah has blessed you 
    and been kind to you, by concealing you and giving you a house and a family, 
    so you must show kindness to your husband in return, and observe the limits 
    of Allaah concerning him, and cut off all ties and all means of getting back 
    in touch with this man who has transgressed against you. But what you did 
    was to repeat the mistake and persist in sin and take the matter of 
    repentance lightly. 

    Do you expect that after that you will helped to change for 
    the better? 

    How can you allow yourself to listen again to the voice of 
    that young man and receive messages from him again? How can you go back to 
    burdening your husband with the stress of waswaas that affects every man who 
    sees something suspicious on his wife’s part? How can you expect him to 
    trust you again when you have not shown yourself to be trustworthy? We 
    affirm to you that continuing in this manner will lead to a greater loss 
    than that which you are facing now. Think about your situation if your 
    husband tells your family about what you are doing. Undoubtedly the stress 
    you will face will be worse than what you are facing now.  We urge you to 
    mend your ways as it is essential. You have already made a good start, but 
    you have a long way to go. We advise you to fear Allaah and be keen to take 
    care of your house, husband and family. Do not pay attention to anything but 
    seeking the pleasure of Allaah; let that be your concern. Be steadfast and 
    do not despair. Keep trying and do not stop treating your husband kindly and 
    obeying him in that which is good and proper. Do not be put off by your 
    husband’s bad treatment. If you are sincere towards Allaah in adhering to 
    His laws, He will set things straight for you with your husband, even if it 
    is after a while; He will restore the happiness you seek and will ward off 
    all temptation and misery from you. What does anyone want in life but a 
    quiet life in good health as a true slave of Allaah? If Allaah blessed a 
    person with any of that, let him strive to protect the blessing by giving 
    thanks for it and fearing Allaah with regard to it. Contentment is a 
    treasure that never fades away. 

    We ask Allaah for guidance, help and happiness. 

    And Allaah knows best.