Smacking and Pinching a One-Year Old Child
Question

                for wealth and offspring. Allaah has blessed me with a beautiful child, but I have strange feelings towards this child. When he cries, I lose control and I smack him, pinch him etc, then afterwards I feel physically and mentally shaken. I love him dearly and when people pick him up he laughs and plays with them, but when he sees me he cries and screams. My son is one year old. Please note that I pray and fast.
Praise be to Allah.This manner 
    of treating your son is very strange. There follows some advice, perhaps 
    Allaah will cause you to benefit from it:  
1 – A small 
    child needs food, drink, sleep and air, and love and compassion are among 
    the best kinds of food that the parents can give their child. Giving 
    physical food without this emotional nourishment is neglect of the child’s 
    natural need for both. 
2 – Showing 
    compassion to the child brings positive results. Hence we are advised to 
    breastfeed the child naturally so that the goodness of food and drink will 
    be combined with the goodness of being in the proper place, which is his 
    mother’s lap. Hence modern science has discovered the great effects that 
    mother’s milk has on the physical and emotional development of the child and 
    – conversely – the negative effects of depriving the child of his mother’s 
    milk and care. Societies in which violence towards children is widespread 
    have become societies in which crime and evildoing has become widespread. 
Some 
    sociologists have stated that the parent’s ongoing smacking and rebuking of 
    their children leads to psychological complexes in the child and increases 
    family violence. This leads to a problem which is difficult to confront, 
    because violence in the home leads to violence in society, which becomes 
    widespread, and the victims of this violence in turn inflict psychological 
    terrorism on individuals, which threatens the security of the society. 
3 – The one 
    who is harsh towards his children is going against sound human nature 
    (fitrah) and sharee’ah (Islamic law). Allaah has created people with love for their children. Hence Allaah and His Messenger  (peace and blessings of Allaah 
    be upon him) did not enjoin parents to care for their children in this 
    manner (because it is innate). On the contrary, Islam enjoins children to 
    care for their fathers and mothers, and warns them against disobeying them. 
As for going 
    against sharee’ah: smacking children and not showing compassion towards them 
    is indicative of a lack of mercy in the heart of the one who does that, 
    which is a sign of being deprived of the mercy of Allaah, may He be 
    exalted. 
It was 
    narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The 
    Messenger of Allaah  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) kissed 
    al-Hasan ibn ‘Ali when al-Aqra’ ibn Haabis al-Tameemi was sitting with him. 
    Al-Aqra’ said: I have ten children and I have never kissed one of them. The 
    Messenger of Allaah  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: 
    “The one who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.” 
Narrated by 
    al-Bukhaari (5651) and Muslim (2318). 
It was 
    narrated that ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: A Bedouin 
    came to the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and 
    said: Do you kiss children? We do not kiss them. The Prophet  (peace and 
    blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “What can I do for you if Allaah has 
    removed mercy from your heart?” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (5652). 
Our 
    Prophet’s compassion towards children was so great that he would shorten the 
    prayer because of their crying, out of compassion towards them and their 
    mothers. 
It was 
    narrated from Anas ibn Maalik that the Prophet  (peace and blessings of 
    Allaah be upon him) said: “I start to pray intending to make it long, then I 
    hear the crying of a child, so I make it short because of his mother’s 
    distress.” 
Narrated by 
    al-Bukhaari (677) and Muslim (470). 
4 – You 
    should understand that you are falling short in raising your child by doing 
    this, and you may see the evil consequences of it in this world before the 
    Hereafter. How can such treatment produce a good upbringing and a sound, 
    righteous child? 
5 – You 
    should understand that a child’s crying does not happen for no reason, 
    rather every kind of crying has its cause. So you should feel compassion 
    towards him when he is crying, so that you will be motivated to find the 
    cause, such as sickness or hunger. You should not be quick to smack him or 
    pinch him or mistreat him, lest you add another reason, which is crying 
    because of pain. 
A 
    psychologist said: Psychologists think that crying, like other behaviour, is 
    usually a means of relieving tension. So crying, screaming, yelling, 
    breaking toys and possessions and fidgeting are all ways of expressing 
    tension that is connected to anger or grief, because the frustration that 
    the child is faced with may create aggressiveness in him, so crying is a way 
    to expressing this aggression and getting rid of it. Not crying may be 
    indicative of suppression of this aggression, which may then move to the 
    subconscious where the child may forget it, but it will not be hidden 
    completely and it may manifest itself when he grows older in the form of 
    sickness, anxiety, and aggression whenever the child finds an opportunity. 
6 – You 
    should also note that shaking a child may cause mental or physical 
    disability, so how about if he is smacked? 
American 
    researchers have warned that shaking children may cause death or severe 
    mental disability. Researchers have explained that destruction of the brain 
    may occur when a child is shaken violently. It may cause them to die or may 
    cause nerve damage and mental disability, such as learning disabilities, 
    mental paralysis, blindness, convulsions, difficulty in reading, attention 
    deficit disorder and other educational problems. 
One female 
    specialist said: Infants’ crying is annoying and disturbing, but it is their 
    only way to express their needs, so first of all we need to find out the 
    reason why the infant is crying and hasten to tend to it, instead of shaking 
    him. She emphasized that boys are more likely to be harmed than girls, as 
    57% of victims are male. 
Researchers 
    noted that shaking a child violently when he cries or throwing him up in the 
    air and catching him, or shaking him violently on one's knees or jogging 
    with him are all factors that may lead to brain damage, as the result of the 
    brain being knocked against the skull, which causes blood vessels to break 
    and leads to haemorrhaging in the brain. Experts have pointed out that 
    nursing infants and newborns are the most likely to suffer disability 
    resulting from shaking, in comparison to older children. 
Conclusion: 
    You have to fear Allaah and not go against the fitrah (sound human nature) 
    or the laws of Allaah. You should be compassionate towards your beautiful 
    child and do not cause him to be lost or disabled, then you would have to 
    live your whole life with this mistake. Look at the life of the Prophet  
    (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and his companions, and let them 
    be a good example for you.  
Strive to 
    make du’aa’ (supplication) and recite ruqyah (incantations) for yourself, your family and your child, lest you be afflicted by the evil eye or witchcraft. Ruqyah is beneficial in all cases.  
We hope that 
    you will be guided aright and that your child will be safe from harm. We ask Allaah to help you to raise him soundly. 
And Allaah knows best.