Relationship With Female Colleague: Must He Marry Her?
Question

                I have a son who was religious. He worked in a mixed place. He knew a girl and had a haram (unlawful) relationship with her. Should we stop him marrying her, or let him? We fear for him, knowing that her morals are just like any girl who knows men. Nothing has happened with any man apart from my son. He loves her a lot. Should we let him marry her to divorce her later? The intention of divorce in this case, does it invalidate the contract of marriage? I fear Allah.
Praise be to Allah.
    Firstly: 

    We have mentioned in many 
    fatwas (verdicts) that unrestrained mixing, which is not controlled by the 
    guidelines enjoined by shariah (Islamic law) such as proper hijab (dress 
    code for Muslim women) and proper etiquette of interaction, is haram. We 
    have also stated that it is haram to work and study in mixed places. We are 
    saddened by the fact that there are muftis (scho;ars) who take this matter 
    lightly and approve of this chaotic situation in schools and workplaces. It 
    is as if they are living in another world, where they do not see the effects 
    of haram mixing such as heartbreak, loss of sanity and destruction of 
    religious commitment. 

    This has been discussed in the 
    answer to question no. 
    1200. 

    No one is safe from these 
    effects. Chaste women have fallen into the foul swamp of mixing and been 
    affected by its filth, ugliness and stench. The same may be said about 
    righteous young men who used to obey Allah – how they were and what they 
    have become. 

    Allah has created in men an 
    inclination towards females, and He has created in women an inclination 
    towards men. But Allah has not permitted relationships between those who are 
    not mahrams (those may not marry one another Islamically) to one another, 
    except through marriage. Hence in shariah there are many rulings which block 
    the way to immorality. It is haram to look at a non-mahram woman, and it is 
    haram to shake hands with her, or be alone with her. It is haram for a woman 
    to travel on her own, and there are other rulings which prevent the shaytan 
    (devil) from making the Muslim fall into the sin of zina 
    (fornication/adultery). 

    Secondly: 

    You say “there was a haram 
    relationship with her” but we do not know what this means. It may be 
    interpreted in two ways: 

    1.     Zina – Allah forbid.

    2.     Becoming friends and 
    being alone with her, but without zina. 

    If the first meaning is what 
    happened, then they have committed a grave sin. Allah has ruled that the 
    unmarried man and woman who commit zina are to be given one hundred lashes, 
    and that those who are married and commit this sin should be stoned to 
    death. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) has told us 
    that the zani (fornicator/adulterer) has lost his faith, and in a dream he 
    saw men and women who had committed zina in an oven in the Fire of Hell. 

    One of the rulings that applies 
    to those who commit zina is that it is haram for the zani to marry the 
    zaniyah, and it is haram for her to marry him, because marriage of the zani 
    and zaniyah is haram, unless they have repented sincerely from the grave sin 
    that they have committed. 

    If they repent sincerely, and 
    the woman observes an ‘iddah (waiting period) of one menstrual cycle, then 
    it is permissible for them to marry, and we ask Allah to forgive them and 
    bless them. 

    For more information please see 
    the answers to questions no. 
    14381,
    
    85335,
    
    96460,
    
    87894.

    If the second meaning is what 
    happened – as is usually the case in such relationships, especially when he 
    wants to marry her – then there is no reason why he should not marry her in 
    the sense that the marriage contract will not be invalid, but it may be 
    disallowed because she is not religiously committed or of good character, 
    and she is not qualified to be a wife who will help him to protect his 
    religious commitment and raise his children. But we cannot say this in your 
    son’s case. If she is negligent then he is the same, and every fault that we 
    think is present in her is to be found in him too. 

    If Islam tells him to look for 
    a pure, righteous woman, then it enjoins her likewise. Allah says 
    (interpretation of the meaning):  

    “Bad statements are for bad 
    people (or bad women for bad men) and bad people for bad statements (or bad 
    men for bad women). Good statements are for good people (or good women for 
    good men) and good people for good statements (or good men for good women).”

    [al-Noor 24:26] 

    “And marry those among you who 
    are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and 
    (also marry) the Salihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) 
    slaves and maid‑servants (female slaves).”

    [al-Noor 24:32] 

    But let us be realistic, and 
    fair. When comparing between them, do not look at how your son used to be, 
    rather look at how he is now. 

    Then you will see that each of 
    them has become attached to the other and they both want to get married, and 
    the best way to set them straight and put an end to the evil in their 
    relationship, is for them to get married. Ibn Majah (1847) narrated that Ibn 
    ‘Abbas said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon 
    him) said: “There is nothing like marriage for two who love one another.”  
    Classed as saheeh by al-Albani in Saheeh Ibn Majah. 

    Perhaps this will be a good 
    opportunity to encourage them to repent and set their affairs straight, 
    before they get married. 

    Thirdly: 

    Getting married with the 
    intention of getting divorced is haram. It is not permissible for a Muslim 
    to have this intention before getting married. 

    See the answers to questions 
    no. 
    27104 
    and 
    91961. 

    We are with you and we urge you 
    to fear Allah in such matters. If this was your daughter, would you be happy 
    for someone to marry her with this intention?! 

    Is it befitting for you to 
    think of your son’s interests, and look for what is good for him, even if it 
    is at the expense of other people? 

    It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allah 
    ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘As (may Allah be pleased with him) said: We were with the 
    Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) on a journey 
    and he said: “Whoever would like to move away from Hell and enter Paradise, 
    let him reach his end when he is believing in Allah and the Last Day, and 
    let him treat people the way he likes to be treated.” Narrated by Muslim, 
    no. 1844.  

    And Allah knows best.