Organizing a gathering to remember the deceased
Question

                We have an association for sponsoring orphans. This association mediates between the charitable people and the families of the orphans. The manager of this association has passed away two months ago, may Allah have mercy on him. He was such a great model of sacrifice and loyalty. He was always doing his best to delight and please the families of the orphans. The brothers working here thought of making a meeting to remember him. It is not a commemoration. We decided to make this meeting about his role in the charitable work, and to give his family a certificate of achievement for the efforts the deceased exerted. 

The meeting includes a word about the activities and achievements of the association.  

The question: Is it permissible to organize such a meeting?.
Praise be to Allah.
    Organizing lectures, seminars and meetings to talk about 
    deceased scholars and righteous people or those who did good is permissible 
    and there is nothing wrong with it. 

    But the following conditions should be adhered to: 

    1 – The purpose should be to encourage people to do good and 
    to express thanks to his family and try to benefit from the bright side of 
    the life of the deceased, and to tell people about him so as to encourage 
    them to follow his example. 

    The aim should not be to stir up grief and sorrow, or 
    remember calamities and pain, or make tears fall and hearts break. Such 
    things have no place in Islam; rather they are contrary to what is enjoined 
    of patience in the face of calamity and acceptance of the will of Allaah. 

    2 – This gathering should not be made into an “eid” that is 
    repeated every year, because the Muslims have no eid apart from Eid al-Fitr 
    and Eid al-Adha only, and it is not permissible to introduce any eid on any 
    other occasion apart from those that are mentioned in sharee’ah. 

    3 – Only the truth should be spoken, without exaggerating or 
    boasting. If the deceased was a righteous, knowledgeable and good man, 
    mention may be made of what he did for his ummah and his religion, and that 
    should only be mentioned for the sake of Allaah and so as to encourage 
    people to do good, not to try to attain some position or to show tribal 
    loyalty to a group or party. But if he was a sinner who followed whims and 
    desires or he was one of those who mix good deeds with bad, it is not 
    permissible to deceive the ummah by means of such people and it is not 
    permissible to tell lies by praising them for things that are not true. What 
    we should do is leave their case to Allaah. 

    4 – These meetings should not be accompanied by any 
    reprehensible actions such as customs of mourning or hanging up pictures or 
    using musical instruments. It is also not permissible to connect such 
    meetings to certain nights such as one week or forty days after the person’s 
    death, and other such myths that are widespread among the common folk. 

    It says in al-Fataawa al-Fiqhiyyah al-Kubra by Ibn 
    Hajar al-Haytami (2/18): 

    Ibn ‘Abd al-Salaam said: some kinds of mourning are haraam, 
    such as wailing, because that implies objecting to the divine decree. But if 
    the qualities of a pious scholar or righteous man are mentioned so as to 
    encourage others to follow the same path and think well of him, in that case 
    it is more akin to obedience and exhortation, because of the goodness that 
    may result from it. Hence many of the Sahaabah and scholars did that 
    throughout the ages and were not denounced for it. End quote. 

    It says in the commentary by Ibn al-Shaat on al-Furooq 
    by al-Qarraafi (2?180-182):  

    In fact mourning and eulogizing fall into four categories: 
    haraam and a major sin, haraam and a minor sin, permissible and mandoob 
    (recommended).   

    The guideline on what is haraam and a major sin with regard 
    to eulogizing and commemorating the dead: 

    Any statement which suggests that Allaah has been unfair in 
    His will and decree, such as when they exaggerate in listing the virtues and 
    good qualities and deeds of the deceased which have come to an end with his 
    death, which means that his death was a terrible thing and that it would 
    have been better if he had carried on living. 

    The guidelines on what is haraam and a minor sin: 

    Words that stir up grief and lead to discontent and lack of 
    patience, and may lead to striking one’s cheeks or rending one’s garment. 

    The guidelines on what is permissible with regard to mourning 
    and eulogizing: 

    Words that do no more than mention the religious commitment 
    of the deceased and that he has moved on to the realm of recompense, and 
    that all people will meet the same fate. 

    The guidelines on that which is recommended with regard to 
    mourning and eulogizing: 

    Words which enjoin and encourage the family of the deceased 
    to be patient. End quote. 

    The scholars of the Standing Committee were asked: 

    What is the origin of the forty-day commemoration? Is there 
    any evidence that it is prescribed to commemorate the deceased? 

    (They replied:) 

    Firstly: its origin lies in Pharaonic customs, which were 
    known to the Pharaohs before Islam, then they spread to other people. It is 
    a reprehensible innovation that has no basis in Islam, and it is refuted by 
    the proven words of the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon 
    him): “Whoever introduces anything into this matter of ours that is not part 
    of it will have it rejected.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (2550). 

    Secondly: Commemorating and eulogizing the deceased in the 
    manner that is known nowadays, where people gather for that purpose and go 
    to extremes in praising him, is not permissible, because of the report which 
    was narrated by Ahmad and Ibn Majaah, and classed as saheeh by al-Haakim, 
    from ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Abi Awfa who said: The Messenger of Allaah  (peace 
    and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade eulogizing. 

    And because mentioning the attributes of the deceased is 
    usually boasting, and renews the anguish and stirs up grief. 

    As for simply praising him when he is mentioned or when his 
    funeral passes by, or by telling others of his good deeds and so on, which 
    is akin to the way in which some of the Sahaabah eulogized the slain at Uhud 
    and others, that is permissible, because of the report narrated by Anas ibn 
    Maalik (may Allaah be pleased with him) who said: A funeral passed by and 
    they spoke well of him, and the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah 
    be upon him) said: “It is guaranteed.” Then another passed by and they spoke 
    ill of him, and he said: “It is guaranteed.” ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased 
    with him) said: “What is guaranteed?” He said: “The one of whom you spoke 
    well, Paradise is guaranteed for him, and the one of whom you spoke ill, 
    Hell is guaranteed for him. You are the witnesses of Allaah on earth.” 
    Agreed upon. End quote. 

    Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah 
    (9/154-155) 

    Some contemporary scholars regard it as mustahabb for such 
    meetings to be organized a long time after the death, so that the grief will 
    not be renewed. 

    Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen was asked: In some mosques they give 
    speeches in which they recount the good qualities of the deceased and his 
    good legacy, such as a scholar or a daa’iyah. What is the ruling on this 
    action? 

    Answer: 

    I think that this should not be done, because if it is too 
    close to the death of the scholar or daa’iyah it is regarded as a kind of 
    eulogizing or mourning, and the people are moved to tears by it. But if it 
    is after a long time and after the calamity has been forgotten, and his 
    qualities and legacy are mentioned as a biography, there is nothing wrong 
    with that, because all of the scholars are written about and their qualities 
    and legacy recounted. But as for that which is aimed at stirring up grief 
    and sorrow at the loss of this man, the Prophet  (peace and blessings of 
    Allaah be upon him) forbade wailing and this is a kind of wailing. End 
    quote.  

    Liqaa’aat al-Baab il-Maftooh 
    (no. 207, question no. 15). 

    To sum up: There is nothing wrong with you organizing a 
    memorial meeting to speak of the head of the association, so long as you 
    adhere to the conditions mentioned above. 

    And Allaah knows best.