Is it disobedience towards his parents if he travels to seek provision and leaves them?
Question

                I am a young man, 28 years old. I got engaged two years ago, praise be to Allaah, but my income is little. Praise be to Allaah I have got a contract in one of the Arab counties with a good salary, but I am hesitating to accept the job because I am my parents’ only son, and the only brother of three girls. If I travel for the sake of my future and so that I can get married, will there be any element of disobedience towards my parents? If I travel I will be leaving them on their own and they are elderly. Please note that if I get married here I will never live with them, and they are preventing me from moving out of their house. Please advise me as to what is best and is right.
Praise be to Allah.
      Firstly: 

    If one or both of your parents needs you to serve them, and 
    there is no one else who can do that after you travel, then you should not 
    travel without their permission. 

    If they give you permission to travel or they do not need 
    you, either because they are able to take care of themselves or because 
    there is someone else who can look after them, then there is nothing wrong 
    with you travelling in order to get married in that case, so as to preserve 
    your chastity. But even if they do not give you permission, your travelling 
    is not regarded as disobedience towards them. 

    But it is undoubtedly better to please them and to explain to 
    them that travelling is in your best interests, and that you will never 
    neglect them, and that you will be away only so long as you need to, then 
    you will come back to them, and so on. 

    The scholars (may Allaah have mercy on them) stated that it 
    is permissible for a son to travel in order to seek provision without his 
    parents’ permission, subject to the condition that travelling is safe and 
    will not put the son in any danger, and that they do not need him to be 
    there. 

    Al-Kaasaani said in Badaa’i’ al-Sanaa’i’ (7/98), in 
    his discussion on jihad if it is fard kifaayah (a communal obligation): 

    It is not permissible for a slave to go out except with the 
    permission of his master, or for a woman to go out except with the 
    permission of her husband, because serving one’s master and fulfilling the 
    husband’s rights are individual obligations (fard ‘ayn) which take 
    precedence over communal obligations (fard kifaayah). Similarly a son should 
    not go out without the permission of his parents, or of one of them if the 
    other is dead, because honouring one’s parents is an individual obligation 
    which takes precedence over communal obligations. 

    The basic principle is that if travelling is not safe and the 
    traveller may die or be exposed to severe danger, it is not permissible for 
    a son to travel without his parents’ permission, because they love their son 
    and will be harmed by that. If there is little danger involved, it is 
    permissible for him to go out without their permission so long as he does 
    not neglect them, because there is no harm involved. Some of our shaykhs 
    granted a concession allowing a son to travel in order to seek knowledge 
    without parental permission, because they will not be harmed by that, rather 
    they will benefit from it, so it cannot be described as disobedience to 
    parents. End quote. 

    Al-Sarkhasi said in al-Siyar al-Kabeer (1/197): 

    If a person wishes to undertake a journey that is not for 
    jihad – such as for business, Hajj or ‘Umrah – and his parents object to 
    that, but there is no fear that they will suffer hardship because of his 
    absence, then there is nothing wrong with him travelling, because in most 
    cases these journeys are safe and his travelling will not cause them undue 
    hardship. The sorrow at his absence is offset by their looking forward to 
    his return. But if there is the fear of danger on the journey, then it comes 
    under the same ruling as going out for jihad, because it is more likely that 
    he will die on such a journey. End quote. 

    Al-Nawawi said in al-Majmoo’ (8/314): 

    If a son wants to travel in order to seek knowledge, then 
    al-Musannif (i.e., Abu Ishaaq al-Shiraazi (may Allaah have mercy on him)) 
    stated at the beginning of Kitaab al-Siyar that it is permissible for 
    him to do so without his parents’ permission. He said: The same applies to 
    travelling for business purposes, because in most cases such journeys are 
    safe. 

    Secondly: 

    With regard to your not living with them after you get 
    married, even though they want you to stay with them, there is no sin on you 
    in that, in sha Allaah, because that does not mean that you are neglecting 
    them or harming them, especially since there are reasons for you not to do 
    so, such as the house being small, or your wife wanting to live in her own 
    home – which is her right – and other such reasons. 

    It should be noted that your living apart from them does not 
    mean that you should not ask about them, or meet their needs or honour them. 
    Rather these are duties which you owe them, especially now that you are an 
    adult. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

    “And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him. 
    And that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them 
    attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout 
    at them but address them in terms of honour.
24. And lower unto them 
    the wing of submission and humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow 
    on them Your Mercy as they did bring me up when I was young’”

    [al-Isra’ 17:23, 24]

    Honouring one’s parents opens the door to Paradise, so strive 
    to please them and treat them kindly, and do not upset them. 

    And Allaah knows best.