How should she get rid of those who are wasting her life
Question

                My friends are unfortunately useless, they do not consider time with care, and Allah is the One whose help I seek. 

They talk on the phone for hours and they call more than once a day. I feel I have to be nice with them till they end the call but it does not happen; it is me who always ends the call! The problem is that I am very confused between two matters; to deal politely with them, or to use my time well, time, which is my life! I think of being frank with them or ignoring them or insisting on ending their calls, but I fear this will be tasteless, not being polite and morale will spoil my good deeds if I do so, but on the other hand if I just adjust to their way, I remain afraid about what I shall tell Allah about the hours I wasted without benefit. Bear in mind that I tried many times to tell them what I feel frankly, I a nice way and in a tasteless way as well; but nothing worked. I cannot just cut these relationships as some of then remain for more than 7 years. Please advise me, I am suffering! 

Around the same point please advise me how to deal with my family or relatives who do not realize the value of time; they visit us a lot and stay with us for long hours or maybe days and ask me to sit with them without doing anything of benefit. May Allah bless you and guide you to which please Him!.
Praise be to Allah.
    Our advice to you will cover three things: 

    1 – We appreciate your keenness to make good use of your 
    time, and you are completely right, because a man’s life is the days that 
    are passing and the hours that he spends. The wise man is the one who 
    protects his capital from loss and the loser is the one who squanders the 
    most precious thing that he possesses and does not appreciate its sanctity 
    or acknowledge its value. 

    It says in Tafseer al-Raazi Mafaateeh al-Ghayb 
    (22/83): 

    Allaah swears by al-‘asr – which is time – because of the 
    amazing things in it. In it both ease and hardship, good health and 
    sickness, wealth and poverty occur, and the value of time cannot be compared 
    to even the most precious and valuable of things. If you wasted one thousand 
    years on something that does not matter, then you made the most of the last 
    moment of your life to repent, you would abide in Paradise for eternity. 
    Therefore you should realize that the noblest thing in your life is the 
    moment you are in, and time is one of the foundations of blessings. Hence 
    Allaah swore by it, and He drew attention to the fact that night and day are 
    opportunities that man wastes, for time is nobler than place, so He swore by 
    it, because time is a pure blessing in which there is no defect, rather the 
    defective loser is man. End quote. 

    Secondly: Then we advise you not to go to extremes in 
    refraining from talking to people and friends, and to allow a certain amount 
    of time to sit with them and speak kindly to them, especially relatives. It 
    was the practice of the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon 
    him) to visit his companions and enjoy their company and talk with them. 
    What is forbidden is to go to extremes in that so that long hours pass or it 
    leads to neglect of other obligatory duties that are waiting to be done, 
    such as worship, learning, work and so on. The best of things are those that 
    are moderate and the one who intends to do good, Allaah will enable him to 
    do it. 

    When speaking to your friends and relatives, you should try 
    to discuss serious topics with them, and things that will benefit both your 
    religious and worldly interests, so that you will be rewarded for teaching 
    them and your sitting with them will count in your favour on the Day of 
    Resurrection, and not count against you. 

    It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with 
    him) that the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) 
    said: 

    “No people sit in a gathering in which they do not remember 
    Allaah or send blessings upon the Prophet  (peace and blessings of 
    Allaah be upon him), but it will be a source of regret for them on the Day 
    of Resurrection, even if they enter Paradise as a reward.” 

    Narrated by Ahmad (2/463) and classed as saheeh by the 
    commentators according to the conditions of the two Shaykhs (al-Bukhaari and 
    Muslim), and by Shaykh al-Albaani in al-Silsilah al-Saheehah (no. 
    76). 

    Thirdly: Make proper excuses to those who steal your time, 
    and think of means of achieving that. You know your situation. For example: 

    You could apologize by saying that you are busy preparing for 
    a university or school exam, or a course of study, if you have anything to 
    do with these things, or say that you are busy preparing a certain project 
    for some organization. People usually accept these things, and they will 
    encourage you to make the most of your time for those purposes. If you 
    really do have to make some commitment to an academic body in order to 
    convince people, if you do not actually have any exam to prepare for or work 
    to do, then make that your intention when you speak of it, because 
    preparation  always takes precedence, thus you will be telling the truth and 
    finding an excuse to give to them. 

    You could use this excuse with the guests who are present, 
    and you can also use this excuse with friends who call you up, but getting 
    rid of people on the phone is easier, because the one who is calling you 
    cannot see what you are really doing at home. So you can apologize by saying 
    that you want to go and pray before the time for prayer ends, and your 
    intention may be to offer a naafil prayer if you have already offered the 
    obligatory prayer; or you could ask your mother to call you whilst you are 
    speaking on the phone and ask you to help her with something. If your friend 
    hears your mother calling, she will end her call. In these ways you can find 
    ways to rid yourself of the time-wasters whom many people have to deal 
    with. 

    We will quote here the complaint of one of the scholars about 
    those who waste one’s time, and how he dealt with this problem, and some 
    beautiful words about the importance of time, and the necessity of making 
    good use of it. 

    Ibn al-Jawzi said in Sayd al-Khaatir (p. 240-241): 

    I seek refuge with Allaah from the company of idle folk! I 
    have seen many people who tried with me what is customary among many people 
    of visiting a great deal and they call these frequent visits a kind of 
    service; they want to sit with me and chat as people chat about what people 
    are talking about, and what does not concern anyone, and what may be gheebah 
    (backbiting). 

    This is what many people do nowadays, and the one who is 
    visited may ask for that, or long for it, and feel lonely when no one visits 
    him, especially when there is a celebration or on Eid. So you see them going 
    to visit one another, and they don’t limit it to offering greetings and 
    saying salaam, rather they add to that a great deal of what I call wasting 
    time.  

    When I realized that time is the noblest thing, and that it 
    should be spent in doing good, I hated that, and I had two choices with 
    regard to them: if I tell them off, it will cause problems, and if I accept 
    it from them I will be wasting time! So I began to avoid meeting people as 
    much as I could, then if I did meet them I would try to keep the 
    conversation brief so that I could leave quickly. 

    Then I prepared things that I could do to prevent talking to 
    them when they met me, lest time be wasted. Some of the preparations that I 
    made for meeting them were cutting paper for writing, sharpening pens and 
    putting papers together to make notebooks, because these things are 
    essential, but they do not need any thought or focus. So I kept them for the 
    times of their visits so that none of my time would be wasted. 

    We ask Allaah to make us realize the preciousness of time and 
    help us to make the most of it.  

    I have met many people who do not know the meaning of life. 
    Allaah has made some of them independent of means because they have a great 
    deal of wealth, so they sit in the marketplace for most of the day, watching 
    people, and they may see a great deal of evil deeds and objectionable 
    things. Some of them focus on playing chess and some waste their time in 
    talking about the rulers, or how expensive or cheap things are, and so on. I 
    realized that Allaah does not guide anyone to understanding the preciousness 
    of life and the value of time and health, except the one whom He inspires to 
    make the most of it. “and none is granted it except the owner of the 
    great portion (of happiness in the Hereafter, i.e., Paradise and of a high 
    moral character)” [Fussilat 41:35]. End quote.


    We ask Allaah to guide us and you and grant happiness in this world and in 
    the Hereafter. 

    And Allaah knows best.