Mistakes that prevent du’aa’ from being accepted
Question

                There are many mistakes that happen with regard to du’aa’ and prevent the du’aa’ from being accepted. What are these mistakes?.
Praise be to Allah.
    The mistakes that may be made in du’aa’ are very many; most 
    of them come under the heading of transgression in du’aa’, such as: 

    1 – When the du’aa’ includes shirk or association of others 
    with Allaah, such as calling upon someone or something other than Allaah 
    along with Him, whether it is a person, a tree or a grave, because du’aa’ is 
    an act of worship and directing it towards anyone other than Allaah is 
    shirk, and shirk is the worst of sins by which Allaah is disobeyed. In the 
    hadeeth it says: Which sin is worst before Allaah? He said: “To appoint a 
    rival to Allaah, when He has created you.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari and 
    Muslim. 

    2 –When the du’aa’ includes some innovated means of tawassul 
    (seeking to draw closer to Allaah), such as tawassul by means of the person 
    of the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) or by his 
    status. Islam is based on following, not on innovating. 

    3 – Wishing for death because of a calamity that has befallen 
    one. In the hadeeth it is narrated that Khabbaab (may Allaah be pleased with 
    him) said: “Were it not that the Messenger of Allaah  (peace and 
    blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade us to pray for death, I would have 
    prayed for it.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6350) and Muslim (2681). 

    In the hadeeth it says: “No one of you should wish for death 
    because of some harm that has befallen him. If he must wish for it, then let 
    him say: ‘O Allaah, keep me alive so long as living is good for me, and 
    cause me to die when death is good for me.’” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (6531) 
    and Muslim (2680). 

    4 – Praying for the punishment to be hastened. It is better 
    to ask Allaah to keep us safe and sound in this world and in the Hereafter. 
    When the Messenger of Allaah  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon 
    him) saw a Muslim man who was sick and had grown feeble like a chicken. The 
    Messenger of Allaah (S) said to him: “Did you pray for anything or ask for 
    it?” He said: Yes, I used to say: O Allaah, whatever punishment You would 
    give me in the Hereafter, bring it forward in this world. The Messenger of 
    Allaah (S) said: “Subhaan Allaah! You cannot bear it. Why didn’t you say, O 
    Allaah, give us good in this world and good in the Hereafter and save us 
    from the torment of the Fire?” Then he prayed to Allaah for him, and He 
    healed him. Narrated by Muslim (2688). 

    5 – Du’aa’ against one’s family and wealth. In the hadeeth it 
    says: “Do not pray against yourselves, do not pray against your children, 
    and do not pray against your wealth, lest that coincide with an hour when 
    Allaah is asked and He answers your prayers.” Narrated by Muslim (3009). 

    6 – Praying for the severing of family ties, such as praying 
    against someone and asking that there be a rift between him and his wife or 
    some of his relatives. 

    7 – Praying for a limitation of mercy, such as saying: O 
    Allaah, send rain upon our land only, and so on. 

    8 – Failing to observe proper etiquette in making du’aa’ to 
    Allaah, such as saying du’aa’ in a manner that is not appropriate. 
    Al-Khattaabi said: It is not proper to say, O Lord of the dogs, or O Lord of 
    the pigs and monkeys, even though all creatures are created by Him and He 
    has complete power over all of them. Sha’n al-Du’aa’ (153). 

    What is appropriate when calling upon one’s Lord is to 
    observe proper etiquette as much as possible and to avoid anything that is 
    not befitting. The attitude should be one of humility and submission. 

    The Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) 
    used to praise his Lord a great deal in his du’aa’, to such an extent that 
    it seemed that he could not praise Him enough. He said: “I seek refuge in 
    You from You; I cannot praise You enough.” 

    9 – Relying on someone else in du’aa’. You see some people 
    who do not call upon Allaah themselves on the basis that they are sinners, 
    so they always ask others to make du’aa’ for them. Although this is 
    permissible in general, there are some reservations concerning it. Hence one 
    should make a great deal of du’aa’ and think positively, and think of the 
    greatness of Allaah’s bounty and generosity, no matter how great one’s sin, 
    for the mercy of Allaah will encompass him. If Allaah answers the prayers of 
    the mushrikeen when they are in dire straits, then He is more likely to 
    answer the prayers of the believers, despite their shortcomings. 

    A man came to Maalik ibn Dinar and said: I ask you by Allaah 
    to pray for me, for I am in dire straits. He said: “Then ask of Him 
    (yourself), for He answers the one who is in dire straits.” al-Jaami’ li 
    Ahkaam il-Qur’aan (13/223). 

    10 – Despair and lack of certain faith of an answer to the 
    du’aa’. Some people, when they are afflicted with a chronic disease, think 
    that they cannot be cured and they give up du’aa’ and fail to turn to 
    Allaah, and perhaps the shaytaan makes them think that there is no need for 
    du’aa’. 

    This is one of the most serious mistakes, and it is ignorance 
    of Allaah and His power and kindness, for Allaah is Able to do all things, 
    and when He wills a thing He says to it “Be!” and it is. 

    When Zakariya (peace be upon him) was an old man and his wife 
    was barren, he prayed for offspring: “O my Lord! 
    Grant me from You, a good offspring. You are indeed the All-Hearer of 
    invocation” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:38]. And Allaah 
    answered his prayer: “Then the angels called him, 
    while he was standing in prayer in Al-Mihraab (a praying place or a private 
    room), (saying): “Allaah gives you glad tidings of Yahya (John)…” –Aal 
    ‘Imraan 3:39]. So do not despair of the help of 
    Allaah or think that the Mercy of Allaah is limited. 

    11 – Going to extremes in raising the voice, especially in 
    the presence of loudspeakers. The voices of those who are making du’aa’ may 
    be heard from afar, and this is a mistake and transgression, and it is a 
    form of showing-off. It is better to raise the voice only so much as is 
    needed for the worshippers to hear if they are saying Ameen behind you. 

    12 – Saying, “O Allaah, I am not asking You to change the 
    decree, rather I am asking You to help me in dealing with it.” This is wrong 
    because Allaah has prescribed for us to ask Him to change the decree, 
    because every calamity that befalls a person is divinely decreed. 

    In a well known du’aa’ it says: “Protect me from the evil of 
    that which You have decreed, for You decree and no decree is passed over 
    You.” al-Bukhaari said: “Chapter on one who seeks refuge with Allaah from 
    calamity and a bad fate, and the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation 
    of the meaning): “Say: I seek refuge with (Allaah), the Lord of the 
    daybreak” [al-Falaq 113:1].  Then he mentioned the words of the Prophet 
     (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Seek refuge with Allaah 
    from hardship, calamity and a bad fate.” Narrated by al-Bukhaari (7/215). 

    13 – Making du’aa’ al-Qunoot lengthy. Praying in a manner 
    that does not befit what is sought, especially at times of calamity, because 
    Qunoot at times of calamity is only prescribed to pray for some people or 
    against others. 

    Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: The one who 
    is praying Qunoot should say at such times the du’aa’ that is suited to that 
    calamity. Al-Fataawa 22/217. 

    And he said: The Sunnah is to pray Qunoot at the time of 
    calamity and to ask for what is appropriate for those people who are at war 
    against the Muslims. Al-Fataawa, 21/155.  

    These are some of the mistakes that are made in du’aa’. We 
    ask Allaah to guide us aright and to help us to do and say the right thing.