How to form friendships
Question

                I am a young woman, twenty years old, studying at university. My problem is that I do not have any friends. I go to the college every day, and I do not speak to anyone and no one speaks to me. Even though I love people and treat them kindly, and everyone says that I am polite, no one makes friends with me. I do not even know the names of the other students with me. Every day I cry about this matter. I tried to console myself by watching YouTube, but unfortunately I became infatuated with someone who is famous on social media sites, and he is a non-Muslim. I fell in love with him and I know everything about him, even though I know that a person will be gathered (on the Day of Resurrection) with those whom he loves, and that a person will follow the religion of his close friends. I have tried many times to stop watching his videos, but I could not stop, because they are interesting and entertaining. Please note that the videos that he makes contain some foul language and talk that is not appropriate.
Praise be to Allah.
	Firstly:

	Forming 
	friendships, in the light of what you have mentioned of your love for people 
	and your kindness and politeness towards them, should be easy, in sha Allah.

	That is because 
	the basic foundation for success in social relationships is love for people, 
	and being kind and polite towards them.

	After that, all 
	you have to do is take some effective practical steps to establish and build 
	friendships and strengthen bonds, such as trying to take part in some 
	collective activities, the most important of which is praying in 
	congregation in the mosque in your university, if possible, or joining some 
	women’s activities in your college.

	You can also try 
	to join various student clubs – that are for females only – which will give 
	you the opportunity to get to know people and make friends with other female 
	students in your class.

	You can also 
	establish contact with other female students with whom you share common 
	interests, such as sharing a love of reading, exchanging useful books with 
	one another and encouraging one another to do good deeds, such as reading 
	Qur’an, praying regularly, attending study circles, helping the needy among 
	your fellow students and neighbours, and other activities that are of 
	benefit in both religious and worldly terms.

	Another 
	beneficial means of establishing friendships is helping students who have 
	difficulties in understanding some subjects and topics, by providing them 
	with notes and trying to explain the material to them and make it easy for 
	them.

	Secondly:

	With regard to 
	your infatuation with that young man, what appears to be the case is that 
	this is the result of some hidden emotions that have manifested themselves 
	in a wrong way, because of your ongoing anxiety at not being able to form 
	friendships, and your feeling that the students are ignoring you. 
	

	Whatever the 
	case, what you must do in this situation, according to Islamic teachings, is 
	to release this energy and these emotions in a manner that is pleasing to 
	Allah and that will benefit you in this world and in the hereafter, such as 
	expressing it in the form of love for Allah, may He be exalted, and striving 
	to obey Him, and love for the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of 
	Allah be upon him) and following his Sunnah, forming friendships and sound 
	relationships with others, doing charitable or humanitarian deeds, honouring 
	your parents, upholding ties of kinship, and showing kindness to neighbours.

	There is nothing 
	wrong with devoting some of your energy to keeping pets or growing plants, 
	or other appropriate, permissible deeds, in order to provide an outlet for 
	hidden emotions.

	You must also 
	close every door that could enable you to follow this young man and become 
	more attached to him, because of what could result from that of sin, first 
	of all, and also psychological and spiritual exhaustion.

	Moreover, this 
	young man does not know you or love you or care about you, and following him 
	will lead to nothing except a vicious circle of emotional and psychological 
	pain, in addition to what you will accumulate of sin as a result of loving 
	one whom Allah has commanded you to hate, let alone the corruption that this 
	may cause to your heart, soul and spirit as a result of getting used to 
	following this evil person and listening to his foul language and shameless 
	words and deeds.

	May Allah help 
	us and you to do that which He loves and which pleases Him, may He be 
	glorified.