Dealing With Homosexual Brother-In-Law
Question

                I have a daughter who is three years old, and two sons, one of whom is nine and the other is two. These days I am having some problems with my husband because he suggested that he should bring his brother, who is homosexual and is fifty years old, to stay with us! 

I adamantly refused to agree to that. I do not want any homosexual man to enter my house. I am afraid that he will bring some punishment or wrath from Allah upon us. I also fear for my nine-year-old son lest he be influenced by this man in some way. 

My husband also wanted me to show respect to his brother and to speak kindly to him, and so on. How can he expect all this from me towards a man like that?! 

Do you have any advice?

I hope that you can help me to resolve this problem.
Praise be to Allah.
    If it is proven that your brother’s husband is as you 
    describe him and that he is a homosexual and does the action of the people 
    of Loot, then it is not permissible – in this case – for your husband to 
    admit him to his house, let alone allow him to meet his sons. It is also not 
    permissible for him to ask you to show respect to him, because he is not one 
    of those who are deserving of respect; rather he is one of those who are 
    deserving of rebuke and shunning, and he deserves to be shown hostility 
    because of what he is, not to be respected, because what he is doing is a 
    grave evil, immorality, and act of disobedience. The major sin that he is 
    doing – if it is proven – is one of the most horrid and repulsive of major 
    sins. Hence those who do it are deserving of the greatest punishment such as 
    landslides, stoning and drowning such as no nation of disbelievers were 
    punished with before or since. 

    Ibn al-Qayyim narrated – in Zaad al-Ma‘aad (5/40) – 
    from his shaykh, Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him), that the Sahaabah (companions of the Prophet) were unanimously agreed that the one who does the action of the people of Loot is to be executed; they only differed as to the manner of 
    execution. 

    Regarding the serious nature of the sin of homosexuality and 
    the punishment for the one who does it, please see the answer to questions 
    no. 38622,
    2104 and
    10050

    Hence we agree with you in your stance about him entering 
    your house, and we also agree with you about the kind of treatment that he 
    deserves. So do not hesitate to prevent him from entering the house in the 
    first place, let alone staying there. What your husband has to do is to take 
    the decision himself; rather he should have taken a decision before you did, 
    because Islam has given him the responsibility of taking care of his family, 
    looking after them and advising them. His giving permission to his 
    homosexual brother to enter his house and meet his sons, and asking his wife 
    to show respect to him – all of that is contrary to the obligations that 
    Allah has given him of protecting his family and taking care of them. It is a kind of haraam (unlawful) betrayal of his flock for whom Allah has made him responsible. 

    But if it so happens that this homosexual has repented 
    sincerely before he enters your house or stays there, and he shows you that 
    he has truly repented and mended his ways, then in that case there is 
    nothing wrong with him entering the house, provided that the wife does not 
    appear before him or mix with him or spend time alone with him; these 
    actions are basically forbidden even if the person is pious. He is still the 
    “in-law” whom Islam warns about. We have explained in more than one answer 
    the seriousness of this problem, how widespread it is and how people are 
    heedless concerning it. So in the case of a person like this, it is 
    essential to deal with him, even after his repentance, with the greatest 
    caution and to block all ways that may lead to evil and temptation. 

    See the answers to questions no.
    7650,
    129302,
    13261 and
    47764 

    Let your husband also read the answer to question no. 147901 
    in which there is discussion of what the brother’s responsibilities are 
    towards his homosexual brother. 

    And Allah knows best.