Ruling on customary (‘urfi) marriage – and is it permissible for the wife to move to another wali at whim?
Question

                My country is fool of aglomerations of evils,this is worse on university campuses, for this reason students want to get married before graduation, the parents are the biggest problem.As for the male we hear that they do not need the permission of thier waliy, as for female we excape this by making a proposal, if the father gives an unislamic reason(e.g i don't want you to marry now,I don't like his tribe,I am not please with his jumping trouser or beard keeping or his religion when the brother is an upright sunni and the sister's waliy is not) then we abandon him for the grandfather or the brother.If they also refuse then we go ahead with the marraige with the amir of our society (MSS;muslims student society) Please is this correct, how is it done. Please explain everything about this act because it is the only way out, and already very common around us , if it is wrong what should those that have done it now do .(some of them now have kids).
Praise be to Allah.
    Firstly: 

    It is not permissible for a Muslim woman to get married 
    without the permission of her wali (guardian), rather it is essential for 
    her to have a wali who will get her married, because the Prophet  (peace 
    and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There is no marriage without a 
    wali.” Narrated by Abu Dawood, 2085; classed as saheeh by Shaykh al-Albaani. 
    And he  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who 
    gets married without the permission of her wali, her marriage is invalid, 
    her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid.” Narrated and classed as 
    hasan by al-Tirmidhi, 1102; Abu Dawood, 2083; Ibn Maajah, 1879 – from the 
    hadeeth of ‘Aa’ishah. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 
    1840. 

    Al-Tirmidhi said, commenting on that: 

    This is the principle that was followed by the companions of 
    the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), including 
    ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, ‘Ali ibn Abi Taalib, ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas, Abu 
    Hurayrah and others. Thus it was narrated that some of the fuqaha’ of the 
    Taabi’een such as Sa’eed ibn al-Musayyib, al-Hasan al-Basri, Shurayh, 
    Ibraaheem al-Nakha’i, ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Azeez and others said: There is no 
    marriage except with a wali. This is also the view of Sufyaan al-Thawri, 
    ‘Abd-Allaah ibn al-Mubaarak, Maalik, al-Shaafa’i, Ahmad and Ishaaq. End 
    quote. 

    In the answer to question no. 
    2127 you will find an important 
    summary of the conditions and essentials of marriage, and the conditions to 
    be met by the wali. 

    In the answer to question no. 
    7989 there are further 
    important details concerning the importance of having a wali in order for 
    the marriage to be valid. 

    Secondly: 

    Allaah has commanded walis to marry off the women who are 
    under their care, and not to mistreat them by preventing them from getting 
    married for no legitimate reason. Allaah says (interpretation of the 
    meaning): 

    “And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who 
    has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Saalihoon 
    (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid‑servants 
    (female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty. 
    And Allaah is All‑Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All‑Knowing (about 
    the state of the people)”

    [al-Noor 24:32]

    Similarly, the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be 
    upon him) commanded walis not to prevent the marriage of the woman whom 
    Allaah has placed under their care if a suitor whose religious commitment 
    and character are good comes to propose marriage. He said: “If there comes 
    to you one with whose religious commitment and character you are pleased, 
    then marry (your daughter or female relative under your care) to him, for if 
    you do not do that there will be fitnah and widespread mischief in the 
    land.” Narrated and classed as hasan by al-Tirmidhi, 1084. Classed as hasan 
    by al-Albaani in Irwa’ al-Ghaleel, 1868). 

    Both the verse and the hadeeth quoted point clearly to two 
    things: 

    1 – The command to arrange the marriage is addressed to the 
    wali, which indicates that the matter has to do with him and the nikaah 
    cannot be done unless he is involved in giving his female relative or ward 
    in marriage to the one who has proposed marriage. The ahaadeeth that we have 
    quoted clearly indicate this and support it. 

    2 – It is not permissible for a wali to mistreat his ward and 
    deny her her right to marriage; that is a kind of mistreatment that leads to 
    great fitnah that affects both religious commitment and worldly interests. 

    If both the woman and her wali act in accordance with this, 
    the security of the family will be achieved and a great deal of evil will be 
    removed from matters of religion and morals. 

    But if the wali refuses to give her her rights to marriage 
    with no legitimate reason, it is permissible for her to move to another, 
    more distantly-related, wali, such as her older brother, paternal uncle or 
    grandfather, so long as that is done on the orders of the shar’i qaadi, and 
    not by her or by her walis. If there is no wali from her family, it is 
    permissible for the qaadi or someone who is in a similar position to act as 
    her wali and arrange her marriage, because it is narrated that ‘Aa’ishah 
    (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: The Prophet  (peace and blessings 
    of Allaah be upon him) said: “Any woman who gets married without the 
    permission of her wali, her marriage is invalid, her marriage is invalid, 
    her marriage is invalid, and if there is a dispute then the person in 
    authority is the wali of the one who has no wali.”  

    Based on this, there is no sin on a woman whose wali denies 
    her her right to marriage if she refers the matter to the Muslim qaadi and 
    appoints her grandfather, paternal uncle or older brother as her wali. 

    Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan was asked about a similar issue and 
    he replied: 

    It is not permissible for a woman to arrange her own 
    marriage. If she arranges her own marriage, then her marriage is invalid 
    according to the majority of scholars, both ancient and contemporary. That 
    is because Allaah, may He be exalted and glorified, addresses walis with 
    regard to the issue of marriage and He says (interpretation of the 
    meaning): 

    “and (also marry) the Saalihoon (pious, fit and capable 
    ones) of your (male) slaves”

    [al-Noor 24:32]

    And the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon 
    him) said: “If there comes to you one with whose religious commitment and 
    character you are pleased, then marry (your daughter or female relative 
    under your care) to him…” And he  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon 
    him) said: “There is no marriage without a wali and two witnesses of good 
    character.” 

    With regard to what the questioner mentions about having read 
    in some books of fiqh that a woman may arrange her own marriage, this is the 
    weaker view, and the correct view is that which is supported by evidence 
    that indicates the opposite.  

    With regard to what she says about her situation and that her 
    opinion goes against her father’s, because her father wants her to marry a 
    man who is of good lineage and status and is compatible with her, whereas 
    she does not think that is important, and rather she is inclined towards 
    marrying a man who she thinks is religiously committed, even if he is not of 
    good lineage and status or compatible with her, her father is in the right 
    in this case, and her father is more far-sighted. She may imagine that this 
    person is good for her when in fact he is not good for her, and she has no 
    right to go against her father’s wishes so long as he is looking out for her 
    best interests. If it happens that another person is good for her and is 
    compatible with her in status, lineage and religious commitment, but her 
    father refuses to give her to him in marriage, then in that case he is being 
    unjust in preventing the marriage, and the role of wali then passes to the 
    next closest guardian among her relatives. But in this case it is essential 
    to refer the matter to the qaadi so that the guardianship may be passed from 
    the unjust father to another wali. Neither she nor any of her other walis 
    has the right to conduct her marriage without the approval of her father. It 
    is essential to refer the matter to a Muslim qaadi who will examine the 
    matter and assess the situation. If he thinks that the guardianship should 
    pass to someone else, he will transfer it, according to what is best. It is 
    essential for things to be done properly with regard to marriage. End quote.

    Al-Muntaqa min Fataawa al-Shaykh al-Fawzaan, 
    5/242, 243 

    Thirdly: 

    Whoever gets married in a manner that is not Islamically 
    acceptable, such as a woman who gets married without a wali, her marriage is 
    invalid and the couple must be separated immediately. The children are to be 
    attributed to the man who married the woman, if they thought that what they 
    did was permissible, but if they knew that their marriage was invalid, then 
    the children must be attributed only to their mother. 

    This invalid marriage leads to many negative consequences, 
    such as: loss of the woman’s rights, because there is no proof of this 
    marriage, so her entitlement to the mahr is not proven, nor is she entitled 
    to maintenance. It also leads to the spread of immorality and corruption in 
    society, especially among students, since it is possible, by means of these 
    false contracts, for every pregnant woman or every man and woman who are 
    found in a dubious situation, to claim that they are married by means of 
    customary marriage. It also means that it is not possible to prove the 
    children’s lineage in such a marriage, which means that they and their 
    lineage will be lost.  

    The way to set this matter straight is to go to the wali and 
    tell him frankly what has happened, then to do the marriage contract again, 
    with his agreement. If he does not agree, then they should be separated. 

    And Allaah knows best.