The hadeeth, “If you criticize people they will criticize you”
Question

                Please tell us about the level of soundness of the hadeeth which is narrated from Abu’l-Darda’ (may Allaah be pleased with him) from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “If you criticize people they will criticize you, and if you leave them alone they will leave you alone” and where we can find it. I was told that it is in Saheeh al-Bukhaari but I cannot find it.
Praise be to Allah.
    The hadeeth of Abu’l-Darda’ mentioned here is not in 
    Saheeh al-Bukhaari. 

    There are several versions of it, such as: “If you keep away 
    from people they will keep away from you, and if you flee from them they 
    will catch up with you, and if you leave them alone they will not leave you 
    alone.” He said: What should I do? He said: “Give up your honour (i.e., do 
    not retaliate if it is impuged), until the Day of your utmost need (the Day 
    of Resurrection, when you can settle the score).” This is different from the 
    version mentioned in the question. 

    This was narrated by Ibn ‘Asaakir in Taareekh Dimashq 
    (47/178, 179) via Faraj ibn Faddaalah from Luqmaan ibn ‘Aamir from 
    Abu’l-Darda’. 

    Its isnaad is da’eef because Faraj ibn Faddaalah is da’eef 
    (weak) and the narration of Luqmaan ibn ‘Aamir from Abu’l-Darda’ is munqati’ 
    (interrupted). 

    See: Tahdheeb al-Tahdheeb (8/456) and al-Taqreeb 
    (2/107). 

    Moreover there was some confusion about the isnaad because 
    the same words with the same isnaad were narrated from Abu’l-Darda’, 
    stopping with him, and it was narrated as being from the Prophet  (peace 
    and blessings of Allaah be upon him). 

    It was narrated by Ibn ‘Asaakir in Tareekh Dimashq 
    (47/178). 

    Then Ibn ‘Asaakir narrated it (47/179) via Anas ibn ‘Iyaad 
    from Yahya ibn Sa’eed who said: Abu’l-Darda’ said … a mawqoof report (i.e., 
    it stops with Abu’l-Darda’ and does not go back to the Prophet  (peace 
    and blessings of Allaah be upon him)). 

    And its isnaad is munqati’ (interrupted). Ibn al-Madeeni said 
    of Yahya ibn Sa’eed al-Ansaari: I do not know whether he heard it from any 
    Sahaabah other than Anas. 

    Al-Tahdheeb by Ibn Asaakir 
    (11/223). 

    It was also narrated from the hadeeth of Abu Umaamah (may 
    Allaah be pleased with him). 

    And it was narrated by al-Tabaraani in al-Mu’jam al-Kabeer 
    (8/126) no. 7575 and by Abu ‘Amr al-Daani in al-Sunan al-Waaridah 
    fi’l-Fitan (219) and by Ibn ‘Asaakir in Tareekh Dimashq (24/17). 

    Its isnaad is da’eef; it includes Baqiyah ibn al-Waleed who 
    is mudallis, and Sadaqah ibn ‘Abd-Allaah al-Sameen, who is da’eef. 

    See: Majma’ al-Zawaa’id by al-Haythami (7/285). 

    It was also narrated by al-Daani and Ibn ‘Asaakir with the 
    wording: “If you speak to them they will speak to you.” Ibn al-Atheer said: 
    i.e., if you say something to them they will say something to you. And in 
    another narration it says; “if you criticize them they will criticize you.” 
     

    Al-Nihaayah (5/92). 

    But this report was proven to be the words of Abu Muslim 
    al-Khawlaani, who said: The people were like leaves of a tree with no thorn 
    among them, but today they are thorns with no leaves. If you revile them 
    they will revile you and if you criticize them they will criticize you, and 
    if you leave them alone they will leave you alone.”

     Narrated by Ibn Abi Shaybah in al-Musannaf (7/206); 
    Ibn Abi ‘Aasim in al-Zuhd (1/367); Abu Nu’aym in al-Hilyah 
    (2/123) and Ibn ‘Asaakir in Tareekh Dimashq (27/228).