Husband Not Particulat About School Selection for Children
Question

                My husband is sending my son to an Islmaic school that I think is very lax in religion. My son is seven and has not been taught any of the Quran or any surahs. I have been working with him in English translation because I don't speak Arabic. I've spoken to him about this but he puts it off or he makes reference to sending my son to a school which is known for bidah and innovation. His other set of children from my co-wife attend this school and they recite the Quran and surahs in arabic Arabic fluently. 

What do I do in this case; I want my son to learn the Quran and surrah's but the school he attends is lax and the school who gives this high priority is shuned by the Islamic community in XXX. The masjid in a way functions within its own little bubble sought ofso to speak. 

Also my husband attends this masjid with my co-wife and his family and I on the other hand attend a more sunnah community who don't follow madthabs. This is becoming a problem because my husband doesn't understand the caution that the scholars relate to about the madthabs. His response it how can you go to a particular school and study under a particular sheikh and then come back to the community and say I don't follow madthabs. I'm not a scholar so I can't really offer him a concrete answer. 

Inshallah if you could give me some direction in this matter I would greatly appreciate it.
Praise be to Allah.
    Firstly: 

    We appreciate the sister’s keenness for her children to learn 
    Qur’aan, because this is part of raising children well. We ask Allaah to 
    give her strength and help her to do that. 

    Secondly: 

    Our advice to her is to strive hard to learn the Arabic 
    language because that is the means of increasing her knowledge of this great 
    religion. In addition she may teach her children whatever she wants of 
    beneficial sciences, because the mother has more influence on her children 
    than anyone else.  

    Thirdly: 

    Our advice to her husband is to fear Allaah and to treat his 
    children equally with regard to concern and keenness to teach them that 
    which will benefit them in both their worldly and religious interests, chief 
    of which is the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah (traditions) of His Messenger  (peace 
    and blessings of Allaah be upon him). According to the hadeeth (prophetic narration), al-Nu’maan ibn Basheer (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: My father gave me a gift, 
    and ‘Amrah bint Rawaahah said: I will not agree until you ask the Messenger 
    of Allaah  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to bear witness 
    to it. So he went to the Messenger of Allaah  (peace and blessings of 
    Allaah be upon him) and said: “I have given a gift to my son from ‘Amrah 
    bint Rawaahah and she told me to ask you to bear witness, O Messenger of 
    Allaah.” He said, “Have you given something similar to all your children?” 
    He said, “No.” He said: “Fear Allaah and treat your children equally.” He 
    said, So he went back and took back his gift. 

    Nararted by al-Bukhaari, 2447; Muslim, 1623. 

    The relevant point from this hadeeth is that the Messenger of 
    Allaah  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) denounced the father 
    of al-Nu’maan for giving something to him and not to his siblings. That also 
    includes the ruling that the father should not single out one of his 
    children for anything and exclude the others, whether that be teaching or 
    anything else. Just as man would like all his children to honour and obey 
    him equally, so he must treat them equally in all matters. One of the causes 
    of envy and hatred among siblings is when the father shows preference to one 
    of his children or loves him more than his siblings. 

    The story of Yoosuf bears the greatest testimony to that. 
    Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): 

    “When they said: ‘Truly, Yoosuf (Joseph) and his brother 
    (Benjamin) are dearer to our father than we, while we are ‘Usbah (a strong 
    group). Really, our father is in a plain error.

    Kill Yoosuf (Joseph) or cast him out to some (other) land, 
    so that the favour of your father may be given to you alone, and after that 
    you will be righteous folk (by intending repentance before committing the 
    sin)’”

    [Yoosuf 12:8-9]

     Fourthly:  

    The husband has to pay attention to his children learning 
    Islamic knowledge, especially the Arabic language and Qur’aan, and 
    especially because what they learn when they are young stays with them more 
    than what they learn when they grow older. As the saying goes, “what is 
    learned when one is young is like something carved in stone.” This is even 
    more important if the Muslim is living in those countries where there is a 
    lot of fitnah (trials) and temptation, and especially for children with a lot of 
    distractions. 

    Fifthly: 

    The Muslim is obliged to follow the Qur’aan and Sunnah, 
    because they are the source of divine law. Allaah says (interpretation of 
    the meaning): 

    “O you who believe! Obey Allaah and obey the Messenger 
    (Muhammad), and those of you (Muslims) who are in authority. (And) if you 
    differ in anything amongst yourselves, refer it to Allaah and His Messenger, 
    if you believe in Allaah and in the Last Day. That is better and more 
    suitable for final determination”

    [al-Nisa’ 4:59]

    According to the hadeeth of Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased 
    with him) the Messenger of Allaah  (peace and blessings of Allaah be 
    upon him) said: “I have left behind you that which if you cling to it you 
    will never go astray after that: the Book of Allaah.” 

    Narrated by Muslim, 1218. 

    True guidance is based on following the Qur’aan and Sunnah, not on following the views of any human being, no matter who he is. This does not mean that we belittle the status of the imams (leaders in Islamic knowledge) (may Allaah have mercy on them), for we seek the help of their words in understanding the Qur’aan and Sunnah correctly and in learning the rulings of sharee’ah (Islamic law). The Muslim does not reject these madhhabs (schools of thought) or belittle their status, rather there is nothing wrong with the Muslim learning from them and benefitting from them. But what is to be denounced is when the followers of madhhabs cling to the madhhab and follow blindly, and insist on following the madhhab even if it goes against a saheeh (authentic) hadeeth from the Prophet  (peace and blessings 
    of Allaah be upon him). The imams of the madhhabs did not deliberately go 
    against the teachings of the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be 
    upon him), but it is well known that the Sahaabah (companions of the Prophet) scattered throughout the various regions, and the scholars of the madhhabs issued fatwas and spoke of 
    what is halaal (lawful) and haraam (unlawful) on the basis of the evidence that reached them, and they may have missed some ahaadeeth that did not reach them, whether 
    that was a few or many. So with regard to the issues for which no evidence 
    reached them they engaged in ijtihaad (independent thought)and some of their ijtihaad turned out to be contrary to the Sunnah. What the Muslim must do in such cases is to 
    follow the Sunnah and excuse the imams, and believe that they will be 
    rewarded for their ijtihaad (exertion of efforts to attain the truth)and will be given either one or two rewards, as the Prophet  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said. 

    They (the scholars and imams) commanded us to follow the 
    Sunnah and to ignore their views if they go against the Sunnah. 

    Imam Abu Haneefah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If a 
    hadeeth is saheeh (authentic) then it is my madhhab. 

    And he said: It is not permissible for anyone to follow our 
    view if he does not know from where we derived it. 

    And he said: If I say something that goes against the Book of 
    Allaah or the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allaah, then ignore what I say. 

    Imam Maalik ibn Anas (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: I 
    am just a human being, I make mistakes and I get things right. So study what 
    I say and whatever is in accordance with the Qur’aan and Sunnah, take it, 
    and whatever is not in accordance with the Qur’aan and Sunnah, ignore it. 

    Imam al-Shaafa’i (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If you 
    find in my book something that goes against the Sunnah of the Messenger of 
    Allaah  (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), then follow the 
    Sunnah of the Messenger of Allaah  (peace and blessings of Allaah be 
    upon him) and ignore what I say. 

    Imam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Do not follow 
    me and do not follow Maalik or al-Shaafa’i or al-Awzaa’i or al-Thawri; refer 
    to what they referred to. 

    The point is that the imams refused to let anyone follow 
    their views without evidence, especially if they went against the Qur’aan 
    and Sunnah. They were human beings and were not infallible. But we 
    acknowledge their position, status and high level of knowledge, and we 
    benefit from them, without adhering blindly to what they said. 

    Sixthly: 

    With regard to the other school that the questioner describes 
    as being well known for innovation (bid’ah) but paying a great deal of 
    attention to the Qur’aan, she has to look at the interests of her children 
    and weigh up the pros and cons. If it is possible to do without this school 
    and find a private tutor for her sons , then the protection of her children 
    dictates that she should not send them to a school where they follow bid’ah. 
    The same applies if the bid’ah has to do with serious issues that may lead 
    to deviation from the way of Ahl al-Sunnah wa'l-Jamaa'ah. 

    But if the bid’ah is minor and does not reach this extent, 
    and it is easy to explain it to the children and warn them against it, and 
    there is no alternative to this school, then there is nothing wrong in sha 
    Allaah with sending the children to this school, but she should be 
    constantly watchful. Then if it becomes apparent that it is going to affect 
    the children then she should stop them going to that school at once. 

    Seventhly: 

    Undoubtedly the shaykh who teaches people from the Qur’aan 
    and Sunnah and looks for saheeh ahaadeeth from the Prophet  (peace and 
    blessings of Allaah be upon him) is better than anyone else. The Muslim must 
    strive to benefit from him for himself and for his wife and children. Our 
    advice to the husband is to listen to his wife who is keen to follow the 
    Qur’aan and Sunnah, and to teach his wife and children Arabic and the 
    Qur’aan, and to treat his children equally in that regard. He should adhere 
    to the Qur’aan and Sunnah and not blindly follow any madhhabs or opinions 
    that go against the Sunnah. And he should be kind and gentle with his wife, 
    and try to advise her sincerely. May Allaah open his heart and help him to 
    do good. 

    We ask Allaah to give the questioner strength and to bestow 
    His bounty upon her and help her to adhere to the truth. 

    And Allaah knows best.