Husband falling short in his duties towards his wife because of physical and mental illness
Question

                I have been married for approximately two and a half years but my husband does not become intimate with me except every three or five months approximately. He always gives excuses such as sickness or being bewitched (sihr), or the lack of financial stability. He does not show me any affection at all. Every time I speak frankly to him about the matter he comes up with ready-made excuses. Please note that he does not suffering from any (physical) problem, as he says, and he refuses to go to the doctor. In the end I told his family about the matter and they spoke to him, but it was of no benefit . He is putting pressure on me to seek treatment in order to become pregnant and I do not know how it can happen. I am fed up and I do not know what to do. If my family find out about my situation this will definitely result in divorce. Please note that we have been to a number of religious shaykhs, all of whom confirmed that the evil eye is involved, but nothing has helped us. To be frank, I am afraid that I may fall into immoral actions.

I hope that you can explain to me what I have to do, and in the case of divorce, what are my rights?.
Praise be to Allah.
    Allah has enjoined 
    upon the husband to treat his wife decently and with kindness, as He says 
    (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And live with 
    them honourably”

    [an-Nisa’ 4:19].

    This is one of the 
    rights that are common to both spouses; each must treat the other decently 
    and with kindness. 

    Each spouse has 
    rights over the other. We have discussed in detail the rights of the spouses 
    over one another in the answer to question no.
    10680

    One of the rights 
    that the wife has over her husband is that he should keep her chaste by 
    means of intercourse with her. This is obligatory for the one who is able to 
    do it. This is the view of the majority of scholars. 

    It says in 
    al-Mawsoo‘ah al-Fiqhiyyah (30/127): 

    One of the rights 
    of the wife over her husband is that he should keep her chaste by having 
    intercourse with her. The majority of fuqaha’ – Hanafis, Maalikis and 
    Hanbalis – are of the view that it is obligatory for the husband to have 
    intercourse with his wife. End quote. 

    The scholars 
    differed with regard to the limits within which the husband must have 
    intercourse with his wife. The most correct opinion is that it should be in 
    accordance with her need and his ability. 

    Shaykh al-Islam 
    Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) was asked about a man who does 
    not have intercourse with his wife for one or two months; is there any sin 
    on him or not? Is the husband required to do that? 

    He replied: 

    The man should 
    have intercourse with his wife according to what is reasonable. It is the 
    most important right that she has over him and is more important than 
    providing her with food. It was said that obligatory intercourse is once 
    every four months, or whatever is in accordance with her need and his 
    ability, just as he should feed her according to her need and what he can 
    afford. This is the more correct of the two scholarly opinions. 

    Majmoo‘ 
    al-Fataawa, 
    32/271 

    Your husband may 
    be suffering from some mental or physical illness and this may be what is 
    causing him to refrain from intercourse or showing affection. You cannot be 
    certain that this is not happening in his case, especially since you say 
    that the shaykhs who have examined your situation think that he has been 
    affected by the evil eye. It is not far-fetched to say that that the evil 
    eye may be what has caused the change in his behaviour. 

    Dr. ‘Abdullah 
    as-Sadhaan – who is a specialist in matters of ruqyah and whose doctoral 
    thesis was entitled Diraasah Muqaarinah ‘an ar-Ruqyah ash-Shar‘iyyah 
    (A Comparative Study of Ruqyah as prescribed in Islam) was asked: 

    Can the evil eye 
    cause physical sickness or financial or social problems? 

    He replied: 

    Yes, the evil eye 
    can cause a lack of healing from many physical problems and may even make 
    them worse. It may also cause financial and marital problems, breakdown in 
    relationships and a lot of calamities. How can it be otherwise, when the 
    Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “Death among my 
    ummah is mostly caused, after the will and decree of Allah, by the evil 
    eye.” So whatever occurs of calamities that are less serious than death are 
    more likely to be caused by the evil eye. 

    Majallat 
    ad-Da‘wah, 
    issue no. 2018, 15 Shawwaal 1426 AH/17 November 2005 CE 

    One of the duties 
    of the righteous wife is to stand by her husband in such situations, because 
    he is in the greatest need of someone to support him and help him in 
    treating his disease until Allah decrees that he should be healed. If what 
    has befallen him is caused by his material circumstances and social 
    interactions, then you can win his heart by beautifying yourself for him, 
    and treating him in a loving and kind manner, for you are his source of 
    tranquillity. Allah has created between the spouses love and compassion that 
    will make it easy for you to reach his heart and reduce the pressure that he 
    is suffering because of his circumstances. 

    You should 
    understand that the man is not like the woman; the woman  can respond to her 
    husband’s sexual needs in all circumstances unless she is sick, menstruating 
    or bleeding following childbirth. But a man cannot do that unless he has 
    energy and the desire for intercourse. Hence Islam does not oblige him to 
    treat his wives (in the case of plural marriage) equally in terms of 
    intercourse, because that depends on energy, desire and strength. For the 
    same reason also there is a warning against refusing to share the marital 
    bed on the part of the wife but not the husband. 

    With regard to 
    your saying that you are afraid of falling into immoral actions, you should 
    be patient and forbearing, and help your husband until Allah heals him. If 
    you are not able to be patient then you have the right to ask for a 
    divorce. 

    Your husband 
    should hasten to seek treatment for himself; he should not hesitate to do so 
    or be heedless or lazy about it. According to what you say, he is neglecting 
    the rights of his wife and the wife has the right to be kept chaste. If he 
    is able to do it then he should do so, otherwise he should divorce her and 
    let her go in a good manner, if she cannot be patient during her husband’s 
    illness. 

    In the answer to 
    question no. 11359 we have 
    described how to protect oneself against the evil eye and to remedy the 
    matter. 

    We think that it 
    is best to refer your case to an Islamic judge (qaadi), because he will be 
    able to establish the facts of your husband’s case and seek medical reports, 
    after which he will be able to issue a verdict on matters of divorce and 
    rights. 

    We advise you to 
    be patient in putting up with the situation in which you find yourself and 
    to support your husband during his illness and do your part to seek a remedy 
    for it, whether that is with doctors or psychologists, or with trustworthy 
    shaykhs, so that you can find out the cause of his problem, as he may indeed 
    have been affected by the evil eye. 

    We ask Allah to 
    set your affairs straight. 

    And Allah knows best.