He gives his family money to buy luxuries and borrows from his wife
Question

                What is the opinion of sharee’ah on a husband who gives his money to his family to buy things that are not basic necessities and he has debts and borrows from his wife to pay off his debts?.
Praise be to Allah.
    Firstly: 

    People often mention in their questions the phrase “the 
    opinion of sharee’ah” or “ the opinion of the deen (religion)”. These 
    phrases are not correct in their meanings, and it is better for a Muslim to 
    avoid them. 

    Shaykh Bakr Abu Zayd (may Allaah preserve him) said: 

    Among the incorrect phrases is “the opinion of the deen 
    (religion)”. The word ra’y (opinion) is based on pondering and thinking. 
    Other such phrases include “the opinion of Islam” and “the opinion of 
    sharee’ah”. These are widespread phrases in the late 14th Hijri 
    century, but they are unacceptable according to sharee’ah, because opinions 
    vary and may be wrong or right, so it is clear that this word cannot apply 
    to that which Allaah has decreed in His Book and the Sunnah of His Messenger 
    (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him), because that is the religion of 
    Islam – “Truly, the religion with Allaah is Islam” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:19]. 
    And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “It is not for a 
    believer, man or woman, when Allaah and His Messenger have decreed a matter 
    that they should have any option in their decision” [al-Ahzaab 33:36].

    So with regard to that which Allaah has legislated for His 
    slaves, it should be said: the ruling of Allaah, or His command, 
    prohibition, decree and so on. With regard to something that is like that, 
    the word “opinion” cannot be used, because opinion is based on speculation 
    and may be right or wrong. 

    But if the ruling stems from ijtihaad, it cannot be called 
    the “opinion of the deen”, rather it is to be called the opinion of the 
    mujtahid or scholar, because when there are differences of opinion 
    concerning an issue of Islam, then the truth lies in one of these opinions. 
    See an important discussion in the book Tanweer al-Afhaam li ba’d 
    Mafaaheem al-Islam by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem Shaqrah, p. 61-73. 
    End quote. 

    Mu’jam al-Manaahi al-Lafziyyah, 
    p. 223, 224, 1st edition. 

    Secondly: 

    Children should spend on their parents, and this obligation 
    is proven in the Qur’aan and Sunnah and by scholarly consensus. See the 
    answer to question number 111892. 

    This obligatory spending on the parents is subject to 
    conditions, one of which is that the son should be able to afford spending 
    on them and the parent should be in need because of incapability, poverty or 
    not being able to earn a living. 

    This husband should realise that his reward with Allaah will 
    be great if he is spending on his needy parents to provide necessary 
    maintenance, even if that means he has to borrow money. But if his parents 
    are not in need of obligatory maintenance, and he is spending on them to buy 
    them luxury items, then he should look after himself and he should not incur 
    debts that are not necessary or due to urgent need, because the matter of 
    debt is serious before Allaah. It was narrated in a saheeh report that the 
    Prophet (blessings and peace of Allaah be upon him) said: “The martyr will 
    be forgiven everything except debt.” So how about the one who meets Allaah 
    when he has not been killed for His sake? 

    Yes, if he has surplus money and he wants to make life 
    comfortable for his parents by spending on permissible but non-essential 
    things, then he will be treating them kindly and not mistreating himself. 
    But if he does that with the wealth of others -- his wife or anyone else -- 
    then he is mistreating himself because he is taking on something that he 
    cannot bear. 

    Based on that, he should apologise to them in the kindest 
    words and explain that he is not able to give them what they want, and he 
    should promise them that if he gets money that is surplus to the needs of 
    his children and his wife, then he will give to them. 

    Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And if you (O Muhammad صلى 
    الله عليه وسلم) turn away from them (kindred, poor, wayfarer, whom We 
    have ordered you to give their rights, but if you have no money at the time 
    they ask you for it) and you are awaiting a mercy from your Lord for which 
    you hope, then, speak unto them a soft, kind word (i.e. Allaah will give me 
    and I shall give you)”

    [al-Isra’ 17:28]. 

    Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: 

    i.e., if your relatives and those to whom We have enjoined 
    you to give ask you for something, and you do not have anything and you turn 
    away from them because you cannot afford to spend, “then, speak unto them 
    a soft, kind word” meaning, make them a promise, in kind and gentle 
    words, that when the provision of Allaah comes, we will give you some, if 
    Allaah wills. End quote.

    Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 
    3/52.