The hadeeth about the woman who did not want the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) to come near her
Question

                I have a question about one of the hadeeths of the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him): When the daughter of al-Jawn was brought in to him (as a bride) and he came close to her, she said: I seek refuge with Allah from you, and he said: “You have sought refuge with One Who is great; go back to your family.” How sound is this hadeeth? Why did she seek refuge with Allah from the Messenger (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) when she knew that he was the Messenger of Allah? Did the Messenger of Allah divorce her only because of her seeking refuge with Allah from him, or was there some other reason?
Praise be to Allah.
    Firstly: 

    This story is saheeh (sound) and was 
    narrated in several hadeeths and contexts which confirm one another: 

    It was narrated by al-Bukhaari (may Allah 
    have mercy on him) in his Saheeh (5254) from Imam al-Awzaa‘i who 
    said: I asked az-Zuhri which of the wives of the Prophet (blessings and 
    peace of Allah be upon him) sought refuge with Allah from him? He said: 
    ‘Urwah told me, from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her) that when the 
    daughter of al-Jawn was brought in (as a bride) to the Messenger of Allah 
    (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and he came close to her, she 
    said: “I seek refuge with Allah from you.” So he said to her: “You have 
    sought refuge with One Who is great; go back to your family.” 

    It was also narrated by al-Bukhaari in his
    Saheeh (5255) that Abu Usayd (may Allah be pleased with him) said: 

    We went out with the Prophet (blessings and 
    peace of Allah be upon him) and came to a garden called ash-Shawt; we came 
    to two walls and sat between them. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah 
    be upon him) said: “Sit here,” and he went in (to the garden). al-Jawniyyah 
    had been brought and lodged in a house in a date-palm garden in the house of 
    Umaymah bint an-Nu‘maan ibn Sharaaheel, and her maid was with her. When the 
    Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) entered upon her, he 
    said: “Give yourself to me (in marriage).” She said: Would a queen give 
    herself to an ordinary man? He stretched out his hand to pat her so that she 
    might calm down, but she said: I seek refuge with Allah from you. He said: 
    “You have sought refuge with One who gives refuge.” Then he came out to us 
    and said: “O Abu Usayd, give her two garments of white linen and take her to 
    her family.” 

    He (may Allah have mercy on him) also 
    narrated (no. 5256) from ‘Abbaas ibn Sahl from his father, and from Abu 
    Usayd, that they said: The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon 
    him) married Umaymah bint Sharaaheel. When she was brought in to him, he 
    reached out his hand towards her, and it was as if she disliked that. So he 
    instructed Abu Usayd to give her her trousseau and give her two garments of 
    white linen. 

    He (may Allah have mercy on him) also 
    narrated (no. 5637) that Sahl ibn Sa‘d (may Allah be pleased with him) 
    said: 

    Mention was made to the Prophet (blessings 
    and peace of Allah be upon him) of a woman among the Arabs, and he 
    instructed Abu Usayd as-Saa‘idi to send for her. He sent for her and she 
    came and stayed in the fortress of Bani Saa‘idah. The Prophet (blessings and 
    peace of Allah be upon him) set out and went to her, and entered upon her, 
    and he saw a woman with her head lowered. When the Prophet (blessings and 
    peace of Allah be upon him) spoke to her, she said: I seek refuge with Allah 
    from you. He said: “You are protected from me.” They said to her: Do you 
    know who this is? She said: No. They said: This is the Messenger of Allah 
    (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) who came to propose marriage to 
    you. She said: Then I am most unfortunate. On that day, the Prophet 
    (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) came and sat in the pavilion of 
    Banu Saa‘idah, along with his companions, then he said: Give us something to 
    drink, O Sahl. So I brought this vessel out to them and gave them something 
    to drink from it. Sahl brought that vessel out to us and we drank from it. 
    Then after that ‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Azeez asked him to give it to him as a 
    gift, and he gave it to him. 

    It was also narrated by Muslim (2007). 

    Secondly: 

    The scholars differed as to the name of this 
    woman, and there were seven views, but the most correct of them according to 
    the majority of scholars is that her name was Umaymah bint an-Nu‘maan ibn 
    Sharaaheel, as is stated clearly in the hadeeth of Abu Usayd. It was also 
    said that her name was Asma’. 

    Thirdly: 

    Why did the Jawni woman seek refuge with 
    Allah from the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon 
    him)? 

    This may be answered by one of the following 
    suggestions: 

    ~1~ 

    That she did not recognise the Messenger of 
    Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), based on the last hadeeth 
    quoted above, in which it says: They said to her: Do you know who this is? 
    She said: No. They said: This is the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace 
    of Allah be upon him) who came to propose marriage to you. She said: Then I 
    am most unfortunate. 

    Al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on 
    him) said: 

    Others said: It may be that she did not 
    recognise him (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), so she said these 
    words to him. 

    However the context of the story when all 
    its narrations are taken into account indicates that this suggestion is not 
    possible. 

    Then he said:

    If the story referred to one incident, his 
    words “Take her back to her family”, and his words in the hadeeth narrated 
    by ‘Aa’ishah, “Go back to your family”, would not count as a divorce 
    (talaaq). It must be that she did not know who he was. 

    If these reports refer to different 
    scenarios – and there is no reason why that should not be the case – then 
    perhaps this woman was the Kilaabi woman concerning whom there was some 
    scholarly dispute. End quote. 

    Fath al-Baari 
    (9/358). 

    ~2~ 

    Some of the scholars say that the reason why 
    she sought refuge with Allah from the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah 
    be upon him) is that some of his wives played a trick on her, by making her 
    think that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) would like 
    these words, so she said that wanting to endear herself to him, and she did 
    not realise that the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) 
    would give her protection from him by separating from her if he heard those 
    words from her. 

    That is mentioned via three isnaads: 

    (i)

    it was narrated by Ibn Sa‘d in 
    at-Tabaqaat (8/143-148) and al-Haakim in al-Mustadrak (4/39) via 
    Muhammad ibn ‘Umar al-Waaqidi, who is da‘eef in hadeeth. 

    (ii)

    it was narrated by Ibn Sa‘d in 
    at-Tabaqaat with his isnaad from Sa‘eed ibn ‘Abd ar-Rahmaan ibn Abza, 
    who said: The Jawni woman sought refuge with Allah from the Messenger of 
    Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) and it was said to her: 
    This will endear you to him. And no woman sought refuge with Allah from him 
    except her. But she was tricked because she was seen to be beautiful and 
    good-looking. The Messenger of Allah was told about those who had made her 
    say what she said to the Messenger of Allah, and the Messenger of Allah 
    (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: “They are (like) the women 
    who were around Yoosuf.” 

    (iii)

    It was narrated by Ibn Sa‘d, also in 
    at-Tabaqaat (8/145). He said: Hishaam ibn Muhammad ibn as-Saa’ib told 
    us, from his father, from Abu Saalih, from Ibn ‘Abbaas, who said: The 
    Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) married Asma’ 
    bint an-Nu‘maan, who was one of the most beautiful and youthful-looking 
    people of her time. When the Messenger of Allah began to marry women from 
    different tribes, ‘Aa’ishah said: He has started to choose wives from other 
    tribes, and soon they will make him lose interest in us. He asked her father 
    for her hand in marriage when the delegation of Kindah came to him. When the 
    wives of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) saw her, 
    they felt jealous of her and said to her: If you want to endear yourself to 
    him, then seek refuge with Allah from him when he enters upon you. When he 
    entered and let the curtain drop, he reached out to her and she said: I seek 
    refuge with Allah from you. He said: “The one who seeks refuge with Allah 
    will be granted safety; go back to your family.” 

    He also narrated another version: Hishaam 
    ibn Muhammad told us: Ibn al-Ghaseel told me, from Hamzah ibn Abi Usayd 
    as-Saa‘idi, from his father – who had been present at Badr – who said: The 
    Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) married Asma’ 
    bint an-Nu‘maan al-Jawniyyah; he sent me and I brought her. Hafsah said to 
    ‘Aa’ishah, or ‘Aa’ishah said to Hafsah: Dye her hair, and I will comb it. So 
    they did that, then one of them said to her: The Prophet (blessings and 
    peace of Allah be upon him) likes it when he enters upon a woman for her to 
    say, I seek refuge with Allah from you. So when she was brought in to him, 
    and he closed the door and let the curtain drop, he reached out towards her 
    and she said: I seek refuge with Allah from you. He put his sleeve on his 
    face and he covered himself with it, and said: “You are protected from me”, 
    three times. Abu Usayd said: Then he came out to me and said: O Abu Usayd, 
    take her to her family and give her two garments of white linen. And she 
    used to say: I am most unfortunate. 

    These isnaads support one another and when 
    taken together prove that there is a basis for this scenario. 

    ~3~ 

    Other scholars say that the reason why she 
    sought refuge with Allah was her arrogance, because she was beautiful and 
    came from one of the kingly Arab families, and she did not want to marry 
    anyone who was not a king. This is supported by the report mentioned above, 
    in which it says: When the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon 
    him) entered upon her, he said: “Give yourself to me (in marriage).” She 
    said: Would a queen give herself to an ordinary man? He stretched out his 
    hand to pat her so that she might calm down, but she said: I seek refuge 
    with Allah from you. He said: “You have sought refuge with One who gives 
    refuge.” Then he came out to us and said: “O Abu Usayd, give her two 
    garments of white linen and take her to her family.” 

    al-Haafiz Ibn Hajar (may Allah have mercy on 
    him) said: 

    “ordinary man”: … Ibn al-Muneer said: This 
    was a remnant of Jaahili attitudes that was still present in her. In their 
    view the ordinary man was anyone who was not a king, no matter who he was. 
    So it was as if she regarded it as unlikely that a queen would marry anyone 
    who was not a king. The Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) 
    was given the option of being a king-Prophet, but he chose to be a 
    slave-Prophet, out of humility towards his Lord. But the Prophet (blessings 
    and peace of Allah be upon him) did not take her to task for what she said, 
    and excused her because she had only recently left the time of Jaahiliyyah 
    behind. End quote. 

    Fath al-Baari 
    (9/358) 

    This is what may be said about the reasons 
    mentioned in the reports and in the words of the scholars. All of it points 
    to the noble attitude of the Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon 
    him), because he did not want to marry somebody who he felt did not want 
    him, and he refused to harm any of the Muslims either physically or 
    financially. 

    And Allah knows best.