When my grandmother died - I wasn't sad so much that she'd died because she was old, but because she lived in the last few years in an old people's home and had nothing very much that was hers - no chair, or private space, and when I went to visit she would be sitting in the ""lliving"" room the TV room. It was hopeless. And I felt awkward so I didn't go and I was sad 'cos how I couldn't.