And then, well, then I think I. Then I think I. I want to kind of. I don't know what it is. It's not give up. But then I think sometimes I wonder how much. And I really don't even like saying this. Cause I kind of have guilt for my life. Like, I don't mean it's too much. Like, I can't take anything else. Like, I know that I don't have the hardest life. I know how lucky I am.