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jhota2025
/
Mental-Health-Text-Dataset

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The dataset generation failed because of a cast error
Error code:   DatasetGenerationCastError
Exception:    DatasetGenerationCastError
Message:      An error occurred while generating the dataset

All the data files must have the same columns, but at some point there are 2 new columns ({'created_utc', 'subreddit'}) and 2 missing columns ({'source', 'title'}).

This happened while the json dataset builder was generating data using

hf://datasets/jhota2025/Mental-Health-Text-Dataset/mental_health_dataset.json (at revision e3d38dabfe7252df2fe4c0c0348007393489bd1d)

Please either edit the data files to have matching columns, or separate them into different configurations (see docs at https://hf.co/docs/hub/datasets-manual-configuration#multiple-configurations)
Traceback:    Traceback (most recent call last):
                File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 1831, in _prepare_split_single
                  writer.write_table(table)
                File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/arrow_writer.py", line 644, in write_table
                  pa_table = table_cast(pa_table, self._schema)
                File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/table.py", line 2272, in table_cast
                  return cast_table_to_schema(table, schema)
                File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/table.py", line 2218, in cast_table_to_schema
                  raise CastError(
              datasets.table.CastError: Couldn't cast
              id: string
              subreddit: string
              text: string
              label: int64
              created_utc: timestamp[s]
              to
              {'id': Value('string'), 'title': Value('string'), 'text': Value('string'), 'label': Value('int64'), 'source': Value('string')}
              because column names don't match
              
              During handling of the above exception, another exception occurred:
              
              Traceback (most recent call last):
                File "/src/services/worker/src/worker/job_runners/config/parquet_and_info.py", line 1456, in compute_config_parquet_and_info_response
                  parquet_operations = convert_to_parquet(builder)
                File "/src/services/worker/src/worker/job_runners/config/parquet_and_info.py", line 1055, in convert_to_parquet
                  builder.download_and_prepare(
                File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 894, in download_and_prepare
                  self._download_and_prepare(
                File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 970, in _download_and_prepare
                  self._prepare_split(split_generator, **prepare_split_kwargs)
                File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 1702, in _prepare_split
                  for job_id, done, content in self._prepare_split_single(
                File "/src/services/worker/.venv/lib/python3.9/site-packages/datasets/builder.py", line 1833, in _prepare_split_single
                  raise DatasetGenerationCastError.from_cast_error(
              datasets.exceptions.DatasetGenerationCastError: An error occurred while generating the dataset
              
              All the data files must have the same columns, but at some point there are 2 new columns ({'created_utc', 'subreddit'}) and 2 missing columns ({'source', 'title'}).
              
              This happened while the json dataset builder was generating data using
              
              hf://datasets/jhota2025/Mental-Health-Text-Dataset/mental_health_dataset.json (at revision e3d38dabfe7252df2fe4c0c0348007393489bd1d)
              
              Please either edit the data files to have matching columns, or separate them into different configurations (see docs at https://hf.co/docs/hub/datasets-manual-configuration#multiple-configurations)

Need help to make the dataset viewer work? Make sure to review how to configure the dataset viewer, and open a discussion for direct support.

id
string
title
string
text
string
label
int64
source
string
medium_c4c1de27
🕒 How I Overcame Laziness Using a 3-Minute Rule
🕒 How I Overcame Laziness Using a 3-Minute Rule And how it changed the way I approach everything in life. I used to be the king of procrastination. I’d wake up with big dreams — finish that online course, clean my room, reply to emails, maybe even hit the gym. But by noon, I’d still be scrolling through reels of cats making smoothies and people talking about how they became millionaires by 23. It was frustrating. I wasn’t lazy because I lacked ambition. I was lazy because starting felt impossible. Then I discovered something ridiculously simple — the 3-Minute Rule. And it changed everything. The Lowest Point: My Turning Moment I remember this specific morning. My desk was a mess. Assignments were overdue. My clothes were everywhere. But instead of doing something, I was lying on my bed, binge-watching a productivity video — ironically. Halfway through that video, the speaker casually mentioned: > “If something takes less than 3 minutes, just do it. Don’t plan. Don’t think. Just start.” That hit me. I paused the video and stared at my room. My brain whispered: “Folding that t-shirt on the chair will take less than 3 minutes…” So I got up. Folded the t-shirt. It was such a small thing. But I wasn’t lying in bed anymore. The Magic Behind 3 Minutes We don’t avoid tasks because they’re hard. We avoid them because starting feels overwhelming. That’s why this rule worked for me. It tricks the brain. Instead of telling yourself “I need to study for 2 hours,” you just say, 👉 “Let me study for 3 minutes.” The pressure disappears. Nine out of ten times, once you start, you go way beyond those 3 minutes. It’s like pushing a car — the hardest part is the first shove. After that, momentum takes over. How I Used It in Real Life 🧹 Cleaning My Room Instead of saying “Ugh, I have to clean everything,” I said: “Just wipe the desk. 3 minutes.” Before I knew it, I had cleaned the whole room in 15 minutes. 📚 Studying I told myself: “Just revise one flashcard. 3 minutes.” I ended up studying for 45 minutes without realizing. 📩 Replying to Emails “Just open Gmail and respond to one message.” That one turned into five. Why It Works (Even If You're Super Lazy) No pressure = No resistance You’re not committing to hours. Just 180 seconds. Quick wins = Dopamine boost Finishing something small makes your brain feel successful. Momentum is powerful 3 minutes becomes 10, then 30, then done. Things You Can Try Right Now Here are examples of things you can start with the 3-minute rule: Make your bed Do 10 push-ups Write 3 sentences in your journal Open that book you’ve been avoiding Delete 5 unnecessary files from your laptop Text someone you've been putting off Final Thoughts: Small Steps, Big Changes If you’re someone like I was — stuck, unmotivated, always saying “I’ll do it later” — I want you to try this rule. Not tomorrow. Not later. Right now. Pick one thing that takes less than 3 minutes and just do it. Then watch how your entire day — and eventually, your life — starts shifting. Sometimes, it only takes 3 minutes to break the chains of laziness.
0
https://medium.com/@pteja9737/how-i-overcame-laziness-using-a-3-minute-rule-0f56d863c814?source=rss------mental_health-5
medium_b387044f
Where Does My Soul Belong?
Where Does My Soul Belong? oyku 2 min read · Just now Just now -- Listen Share Sometimes we feel lost with our friends, our family, or our lover – whoever we are with. Streets we know very well start to feel unfamiliar. We feel like we don’t know the people next to us. We feel like we don’t belong where we are. Sometimes, we even feel like a stranger in our own room. Maybe our soul thinks that this is not the place where we truly belong. Everything becomes blurry and we lose our direction. This feeling is often scary, but it is also a part of growing and changing. Because feeling lost gives us a chance to find new paths. What is important is to find something that makes us happy and a place where we feel like ourselves. Every journey brings us new things. Even when we have trouble finding our way, we still make progress. And this helps us find our true path. Do your best to live the life you really want. Have a life where you feel like you truly belong and where you feel like yourself. Give yourself some time. Ask yourself questions like, “Who am I?”, “Where do I want to be in this life?”, and “Where will I be happy?”. When you discover your answers, follow them on your road to happiness. Don’t be afraid of feeling lost. Sometimes, the most beautiful roads are found without a map. Maybe we need to feel lost to find ourselves.
0
https://medium.com/@oyku15guler/where-does-my-soul-belong-cf295b3537f5?source=rss------mental_health-5
medium_892ee0c7
Hope is a driver. We’re all just vehicles.
Hope is a driver. We’re all just vehicles. Sathvik Reddy 3 min read · Just now Just now -- Listen Share A reflection on what it means to keep going when tomorrow feels uncertain. Image by Dmitry Ratushny Hope is the driver. We’re all just vehicles. It drives some to death, some to life, and some to a place where life and death carry no meaning. What exactly is hope? What gives me hope? Is it the belief that I will be free someday, or is it the quiet thought about the future being different from present? Is it the story I repeat to myself every day as a reason to live tomorrow when there was no point in living all the yesterdays? Maybe it’s the idea that all of this will change someday. Hope can be many things. It’s the feeling that things could be better. It’s the lifeline we reach for when everything else feels like it’s slipping away. But hope isn’t always gentle. It’s not always kind. Hope can also be like a sweet poison, giving us a slow death. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane. Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. The two lines are from the movie Shawshank Redemption. Two opposing truths from the same film. Hope is a dangerous thing when we live with it. The same hope appears to be a divine thing when we live through it and finally stand in that beautiful moment we have been imagining all these days. When people struggle in life they feel like living in hell. When the same people become successful or peaceful someday, they will praise the life when they were struggling. It’s all the same thing. We are disturbed, frustrated, and irritated by things that are not understood yet. But one day, when we make a sense out of them, some of them seem to be so small, some beautiful, and some meaningful. Maybe that’s what life is about. A constant shift between what we can’t yet understand and what we someday will. The whole point is that we are unable to see the future. We feel pain today if we think tomorrow will be painful. We feel peaceful today if we think tomorrow would be happier. We feel thrilled today if we think tomorrow will be exciting. Our emotions aren’t just responses to our circumstances. they’re tied to the stories we tell ourselves about the future. Maybe for the first time when people felt these things. They started to think that maybe of all the things, the pain right now was the only thing that should be thought about replacing with something that makes them feel better (cause it’s pain and not a single one if given a chance, will choose to feel pain). So, here was born hope. Tomorrow will be painful, but the day after may be better, and someday maybe we will be happy. I had hope from the moment I knew about hope. I even had it before, but maybe I just didn’t know it was hope. It was there in every quiet moment I survived. A man without hope is either too happy or maybe trying to kill himself. Too happy is a tale to me. The only times in my life I felt it was true were when I was too drunk with my friends.
0
https://medium.com/@nsreddy1729/hope-is-a-driver-were-all-just-vehicles-270628dbe653?source=rss------mental_health-5
medium_c85825b9
The Third Challenge: Understand Depression’s Painful Ripple Effect
The Third Challenge: Understand Depression’s Painful Ripple Effect Acknowledgment of hidden wounds on our loved ones Smwildreness 5 min read · Just now Just now -- Share Generated by Gemini When Truth Becomes Unfamiliar In the depths of depression, I learned something that takes my breath away: truth becomes a stranger in your mind. The voice that whispered worthless felt real. The echo that said unlovable knew my heart better than I did. In moments when darkness felt like my companion, I believed every cruel lie about who I was. I need to tell you something I took a long time to understand. Despite the lies my depression told me, the support of those around me revealed the truth. The Angels Stay You know the saying, “Your shadow leaves you in the dark”? Until I discovered something extraordinary in my lowest moment, I believed it. When my shadow abandoned me and I felt invisible, people chose to sit with me in that darkness. Sometimes, they said nothing. They just stayed. Even when I begged them to leave. Even when I convinced myself they’d be better off without me. These angels refused to leave me to my pain.
1
https://medium.com/readers-digests/the-third-challenge-understand-depressions-painful-ripple-effect-220d6053a47c?source=rss------depression-5
medium_c2c46fe6
Fractured.
Fractured. Sanskruti 2 min read · Just now Just now -- Listen Share (I wrote this because I was tired of living for applause I didn’t ask for. Trapped in my own skin, performing for a crowd that never clapped — this is what dreaming about breaking free looked like.) If I were placed behind a pellucid wall, Would you have called me protected or truculent? If my fearsome soul — Was sold for a droll role, If perfection had been forced upon me, If I wore grace like it was stitched in lace, A mask I had mastered, poised and grave, If I had the soul of a warrior in a queen’s frame — Would you have pitied me, or called me brave? Yes, I did everything for the show, And my heart was filled with vases of sorrow One breeze of air, and it would shatter leaving me in pieces that clatter. You knew my thoughts You knew it all, yet — You played with me from dusk till dawn, until I broke beneath the weight, and named my caged fate, No one wondered how long I could pretend. I let go, and finally, I uttered I said, kill me from the crushing and thriving, Then place a black iris on the stone, where I once stood ash and bone, throw fire at me, watch me burn — And tell me, did you have your fun? torture me, until I scream and shout and ask — Was that necessary? Then, proceed to call me crazy. Let me tell you the story of a girl, Who dreamt so small, and walked like a churl, Her psyche was in the wilderness, She walked no road, followed no muse All she had was the hope of flying far from the flock, no longer complying.
0
https://medium.com/@sanskrutii13/fractured-fd22f76731e4?source=rss------depression-5
medium_391c6d72
The Kind of Pain That No One Sees
The Kind of Pain That No One Sees Anxiety and Depression Isn’t Just “Feeling Sad” Leighann Ash 4 min read · 3 hours ago 3 hours ago -- Share Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash Cue sarcasm. “Oh, you just have it so bad, don’t you?” They say I’m being too much. That I should just “be more positive.” But here’s the thing: I don’t think my life is harder than anyone else’s. I just suffer in ways most people don’t understand. Unless you’ve lived with anxiety and depression, not just for a day or a week, but for years, you have no idea how heavy it feels to carry this kind of weight all the time. This isn’t just “feeling sad.” It’s struggling to function, smile, breathe, and just exist. And it’s invisible. Which makes it easy for people to dismiss, which makes me feel judged. They think I’m just being dramatic. I started noticing a disconnect when I’d open up about my struggles. People would respond with, “you’re just overthinking it,” or “you don’t look depressed.” The worst part is that I started to believe them. I thought there was something wrong with me. Maybe I was too sensitive. But deep down, I knew this wasn’t just a phase. It wasn’t a mindset issue. It was real. And it was ruining my life.
1
https://medium.com/new-writers-welcome/the-kind-of-pain-that-no-one-sees-0bfd1a162b69?source=rss------depression-5
medium_ab576488
Pt. 2: The Quiet Collapse
Pt. 2: The Quiet Collapse Peak Afflatus 4 min read · 4 hours ago 4 hours ago -- Listen Share When self-awareness becomes self-harm The Slow Drift For years I felt myself sliding. Lacking any real sense of direction or purpose — when you don’t know where you’re sailing, no wind is fair. I have spent most of my adult life abroad, searching for adventure and experience away from the crowds. Quietly satisfying myself with solo pursuits and quiet ambition, shaped not by attention, but by curiosity and contentment. Silent Accent I’d found a niche in a business where I could play a big part while remaining low-key, balancing success with servitude. It was exciting to sense the possibilities that lay ahead, to feel part of something people were proud of. The Cracks Appear in Perfectionism But when personal vision began to butt up against demands, something shifted. My abnormally high conscientiousness clashed with a deep desire for autonomy, a pattern I was familiar with. Slowly, the grinding reality of work wore down my aspirations of greatness, polluting them with over-intellectualised, critical negativity. I knew this was bias. On paper, I had it good. I kept trying to pinpoint the change in myself, but it was a way of thinking that stretched back as far as I could remember, trying to be everything to everyone, but too self-critical and afraid to meet my own expectations. My ego ideal turned my inner voice hostile, the auto-aggression seeping into everything I did. You could argue it drove me to try harder, but the cost was self-hate of epic proportions. The Inner Erosion It became a kind of learned helplessness, an apathy that started to rot my personhood. I didn’t deserve this role; I was a hack. A consummate chameleon. An algorithm that could deliver results without instinct, without the spark of a true creative. The opposing forces of believing I deserved more and feeling unworthy bred a visceral conflict. Like a self-fulfilling prophecy, the more I ruminated on it, the more I hollowed out my own sanity. Corrosion and Withdrawal Like an anode protecting a ship’s engine, I tried to shield the business with my own degradation. Whether in silence or in meetings, I’d attempt to steer things toward the greater good despite a strong aversion to confrontation. Over time, withdrawal became the safest harbour, and the hull heavy with weed. My increasingly loud internal monologue was collapsing the scaffolding of self, passing up opportunity and growth for the mediocre comfort of the familiar. Misery loves company. When you feel you’re no longer at the wheel and heading to someone else’s destination, cutting off your nose to spite your face starts to feel like a legitimate solution. Righteous and Weak I’d lost the youthful courage to go my own way, trapped instead in the obligations of senior ranks and expectations and a desire not to repeat patterns of running away. I was facing the wrath of my own indecision. My values and integrity were at odds with the behaviour around me and I tried to suppress the inner conflict. It is business after all, and not mine at that. I’d always advocated for individuals to work in the way that suited their strengths, accepting that while it wasn’t how I’d do things, it remained a path to their own results. Over time though, as others’ methods began to affect my own, I wondered why I had to suffer their shortcomings. I had plenty of my own to deal with, and being good at sorting theirs had carved a rut I was stuck in. When I sensed the corporate machine gearing up to ‘resolve’ things, I took it as an affront. I’d seen these processes rolled out before, and I wasn’t about to be on the receiving end of it. It’s a humbling thing to feel both righteous and weak. The ego wants to go out guns blazing. The inner child is stricken with grief. The collision of both is messy. Routine as Armour Beneath the surface of this unravelling, there was a survival mechanism. The rigour with which I followed routine was militant, an attempt to cope and overcome. The same nutrient-dense homemade salad for lunch. The same brisk walk. The same non-fiction podcast rotation. The latter designed to educate and drown out the familiar internal slander. Routine kept the wheels turning, kept me upright, even as everything else listed. It was an attempt at control while the rest of life slipped from my grasp. The Revolt It seeded in me a defiance I couldn’t control. I was no longer an inmate — I was ready to go rogue. Instead of falling in line I stepped out, quite literally, of the building. Mind on fire with outrage, I’d never demanded respect, but I wasn’t about to suffer another moment of others’ misguided self-aggrandisement. I had, for all intents and purposes, architected my own collapse. And I was about to spiral to depths unseen. Depersonalisation to the edge I was a deeply depressed robot, running on auto. Anhedonic. Whose was this body I was inhabiting? Why did I feel like a stranger to myself? I began to wonder who I was at all, as the running joke of my awful memory made me question what identity even meant without recalled experience. Who are you, when you forget? I had reached the point where walking out the door felt like the only honest act left. The last refusal and gesture of agency. But it was no longer a choice. The collapse was only the beginning. The fall that followed was fast. Ferocious. Absolute. If you’d like to support my work visit ko-fi.com/peakafflatus
1
https://medium.com/@peak.afflatus/pt-2-the-quiet-collapse-71428b8d2dc1?source=rss------depression-5
medium_f19e76d5
Busy, But Still Sad: How Staying Active Helps Me Ride the Lows of Depression
Busy, But Still Sad: How Staying Active Helps Me Ride the Lows of Depression Jolene Gongora 2 min read · 4 hours ago 4 hours ago -- Listen Share There are days when depression sits so heavy on me, I feel like I can’t move. Days where my body feels like concrete and my thoughts feel like fog. And still — I’ve learned to stay busy. Not because it magically “cures” anything. It doesn’t. But because it gives me something to hold onto when everything else feels out of reach. 👉 The trick isn’t forcing myself to be happy. It’s gently, quietly, staying in motion. I’m not talking about overloading myself with tasks or pretending I’m fine. I’m talking about small things: • Doing the dishes • Taking a short walk • Watering my plants • Writing a to-do list with just one thing on it Sometimes I clean out my junk drawer just to give my brain a job that isn’t self-criticism. Sometimes I reorganize my closet because folding jeans feels easier than untangling my emotions. On the hard days, I call it “productive distraction.” A way to keep moving without letting depression pull me completely under. 🌱 When I stay busy, I remind myself I’m still here. It doesn’t cure the sadness, but it gives me tiny pockets of peace — and on some days, that’s enough. If you’re in a low right now, please know you’re not lazy. You’re not broken. You’re carrying something heavy. Try moving just a little. Do something simple. And when that feels like too much, rest. Then try again tomorrow. 🖤 You’re not alone in this.
0
https://medium.com/@jolene.cp2/busy-but-still-sad-how-staying-active-helps-me-ride-the-lows-of-depression-19e06bbc3d5c?source=rss------depression-5
medium_3f918646
How to Overcome Depression: Lessons that Helped me Heal
Here are the lessons I’ve learned along the way – lessons I hope might light the path for someone else. 1. Acceptance It’s not easy to accept that something you’ve always been taught to see as a weakness is now part of your reality. But accepting depression doesn’t mean you’ve failed – it means you’re human. Depression is as common as the flu; just as anyone can catch a cold, anyone can experience depression at some point in life. There is no shame in it, and there is nothing wrong with you. Acceptance is the first and most healing step. Once you accept it, you’ll be ready to take the steps needed to heal. 2. Just go through it It’s incredibly painful to admit that you’re in a dark place – but denying it won’t make it go away. Trust me: the clouds will part, and the sun will shine again. The only way out is through. And when you come out the other side, you won’t be the same – you’ll be stronger, wiser, and free. A different version of you will emerge from the storm. 3. Remind yourself that you don’t want to feel this way Every time you acknowledge that this pain isn’t something you chose – and that your true desire is to feel better – you take a powerful step forward. That quiet but honest admission creates space between you and the suffering. It reminds you that this state isn’t permanent, and it’s not your identity. From that place of clarity, you’ll find the strength to start doing whatever it takes to change your situation. 4. Be careful who you talk to When I opened up to friends about my depression, I often ended up feeling worse. Sometimes, they’d shift the conversation to their own, more dramatic stories – as if we were competing over who was suffering more. Other times, they’d reinterpret my experience in a way that made it all feel like my fault. But in those moments, I didn’t need analysis or comparison – I needed someone to simply validate my pain and help me find a way out of the darkness. 5. Ask for professional help It took me six therapists and a couple of years to find the one who truly understood me. Finding the right person can take time – but it’s worth it. Don’t give up on the search just because the first (or fifth) match isn’t right. The right therapist won’t just treat your symptoms – they’ll build a relationship with you that becomes part of your healing. Keep looking until you find someone who sees you and walks the journey with you. 6. Be patient Healing doesn’t happen in a single moment – it’s a process, and sometimes a messy one. Some days feel like progress, others feel like setbacks, and some therapy sessions can be harder than the last. But that’s all part of the journey. Patience is what carries you through the darkest stretches toward the light at the end of the tunnel. Trust the process, even when it’s slow.
0
https://afshari-ladan.medium.com/how-to-overcome-depression-lessons-that-helped-me-heal-05e4b7159101?source=rss------depression-5
medium_9240bad8
Understanding High Functioning Depression 💚
Understanding High Functioning Depression 💚 Jahli Creations 4 min read · Just now Just now -- Listen Share An introduction guide to understanding, empathizing, or surviving with Persistent Depressive Disorder! ✨ What is Persistent Depressive Disorder or High Functioning Depression? This is the fairly new diagnosis for Chronic Depression. To be diagnosed you must experience a depressed mood or symptoms for multiple days/phases for at least two years or more. Symptoms can include; a lack of manic or hypomanic episodes, poor appetite or overeating, insomnia or hypersomnia, low energy or fatigue, low self-esteem, poor concentration or focus, difficulty decision making, feelings of hopelessness, or unable to function. Keep in mind that, those suffering with PPD experience these symptoms to a slightly less degree so they can function more often than those with Major Depressive Disorder. Because of this, symptoms may be more mild and less obvious to onlookers. Another important factor is that symptoms can not be an onset caused from substance or alcohol abuse and medical issues. There are no brain scans, blood tests, or other tests to determine PDD. It must be diagnosed by your medical professional after receiving treatment, asking questions, and problem solving. Now let’s look at some important facts and statistics regarding Persistent Depressive Disorder. Women are three times more likely to experience PDD than men while 3% of the U.S. population suffers from PDD. Those also struggling with Borderline Personality Disorder are 70% more likely to have PDD. It’s also important to acknowledge that 80–90% of people will develop PDD at some point in their life, mostly developing in childhood, teenagers, or young adulthood. While that statistic may intimidate some people, acknowledge that there is no way to prevent PDD and you are not alone. The first symptoms (while mild) can look like; negativity, low self-esteem, overdependent, lack of self confidence, self doubt, feeling hopeless, or withdrawal. If you begin to experience these, make sure to seek treatment immediately. So what causes Persistent Depressive Disorder? The actual cause is still unknown and yet to be determined. However, it has been contributed to a few causes such as; biology, brain chemistry, inherited traits, stress level, and trauma. When we look at brain chemistry, often those suffering with PDD lack serotonin, norepinephrine, or dopamine. It can be a combination of all three or one that is lacking. Researchers are still studying how PDD affects brain chemistry and brain development to find more correlations between the two. Now that we’ve dived into what Persistent Depressive Disorder is, how to spot early symptoms, and the science behind it, let’s address how we can cope with PDD. The first step is always to acknowledge your symptoms and seek counseling or medical treatment. Once you’re diagnosed, you’ll want to find ways to relieve and manage your stress. The most effective proven treatment for PDD is a combination of medication and talk therapy. The most common medication is antidepressants, also known as; Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs) or Serotonin- Norepinephrine Reuptake Inhibitors (SNRIs). If you are against medication, talk to your provider about possible natural herbs and vitamins that can help you. It is crucial to always speak with your provider first because self medicating can lead to Serotonin Syndrome or an increase in anxiety and depression. Aside from talk therapy, other therapies can include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Interpersonal Therapy (IPT), and a couple of newer therapies called Cognitive Behavioral Analysis of Psychotherapy and Radically Open Dialectical Behavior Therapy (RO-DBT). What if medication and treatment does not have positive results? In worst case scenarios there is Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (rTMS) or Electroconvulsive Therapy (ECT). These treatments are rarely recommended and are seen as a “last resort” option. It’s also important to know that these treatments have severely negative and long lasting side effects. NEVER consider these treatments as a first option. If you do not wish to seek medication or treatment, your care provider may also recommend; exercising, relaxing activities, healthy eating habits, building and maintaining a positive support system, and healthy sleeping habits. NEVER look to self medicate or abuse substances to cope. This can lead to a codependency or addiction which may worsen your symptoms. In emergency situations, call or text a crisis lane to get immediate help. If you or a loved one are fighting Persistent Depressive Disorder, it’s important to raise awareness, break the stigma, and advocate for mental health. Take a moment today to share your love and support for those struggling today, even if it’s yourself. Remember that you or your loved ones are not alone. There are many resources, treatments, and steps that can lead to a fulfilling and beautiful life.
1
https://medium.com/@jahlicreations/understanding-high-functioning-depression-e1cca195e32e?source=rss------depression-5
medium_9cc8918e
Delayed Texts
Photo by Miquel Parera on Unsplash You text them An answer is needed urgently They start to write Your hopes go up Immediately But their answer Never seems to come Unfortunately For what seems Like a hellish experience Your mind and heart and soul Slowly start to shrink a little bit As your eyes Glued to the phone screen await The end of this unusual torture
0
https://medium.com/@charlesnkoho/delayed-texts-c3527513f9dc?source=rss------anxiety-5
medium_199b7e1b
7 Signs of Anxiety I Missed — Until They Almost Burned Me Out
7 Signs of Anxiety I Missed — Until They Almost Burned Me Out Esha Usmani 3 min read · Just now Just now -- Listen Share I thought I was just tired. Just stressed. Photo by Pawel Czerwinski on Unsplash Just someone who needed a weekend to reset. But no amount of naps, silence, or journaling pulled me out of the constant hum in my chest. The pressure behind my eyes. The guilt of doing “nothing.” Turns out, it wasn’t laziness. It wasn’t burnout. It was anxiety — high-functioning, quiet, always-there anxiety. And I had no idea. This is for anyone who seems fine on the outside, but inside? You’re fighting to stay afloat in your own mind. 1. I Over-Explained Everything I’d rewrite texts three times. I’d send paragraphs apologizing for things no one was upset about. I’d add “if that’s okay!!” or “just checking in, no pressure” even when I was allowed to ask. Anxiety made me think I had to over-explain to be understood. Because what if they read it wrong? What if I sounded harsh? What if I was “too much”? 2. I Couldn’t Relax — Even When I Was Doing Nothing I’d finally get time off. Blanket. Show on. Snacks ready. But my brain? Still running. Did I reply to that email? I should be planning next week. Why am I resting — there’s still so much to do. Anxiety doesn’t always look like panic. Sometimes, it’s sitting still but feeling guilty for it. 3. I Got Irritated — Then Blamed Myself for It Little things started bothering me. Noise. Plans changing. People being late. And I’d react. Not loudly, just sharply. Then feel awful for snapping. Anxiety made me feel like I was always on edge — and like I had no right to be. 4. My Sleep Was… Off Some nights, I couldn’t fall asleep. Other nights, I woke up at 3 a.m., wired and wide-eyed. Heart pounding. Thoughts racing. No real reason. Just… alert. It wasn’t insomnia. It was my body being stuck in fight-or-flight — even while lying in bed. 5. I Said “Yes” to Everything — and Then Resented It Need help with that project? Sure. Want to talk? Of course. Can you come even if you’re tired? Yeah, no problem. I kept agreeing to things to avoid disappointing people. And then quietly feeling frustrated, overwhelmed, and drained. People-pleasing isn’t always about being nice. Sometimes it’s fear dressed up as “I’m fine.” 6. I Was Always “Productive” — But Never Present I got things done. My to-do list stayed full. But I didn’t feel there. I wasn’t enjoying it. I was just performing. Productivity became my coping mechanism. If I was busy, I didn’t have to feel the anxiety underneath. 7. I Thought Asking for Help Made Me Weak Even when I knew I was drowning, I kept quiet. Didn’t want to be a burden. Didn’t want to “worry” anyone. Didn’t want people to see me struggling. But I was. Quietly. Constantly. I didn’t know how to say “I’m not okay” — because I thought not being okay meant I was failing. What Changed There wasn’t one dramatic breakdown. Just a slow realization: this isn’t normal. I shouldn’t be this exhausted from doing the bare minimum of life. I wasn’t lazy. I wasn’t dramatic. I was anxious — and I didn’t even know that’s what it was. When I finally learned what high-functioning anxiety looked like, I cried. Not because I was scared — but because I finally had a name for the heaviness. If This Is You Too You’re not alone. You’re not weak. You’re not “overthinking” everything for fun. You’re just someone whose brain learned to stay on high alert — and that’s not your fault. Anxiety doesn’t always scream. Sometimes it whispers, and we don’t hear it until we’re burned out, shut down, or completely exhausted. But you can learn to listen earlier. And when you do — that’s not failure. That’s healing. Ever experienced signs like these and didn’t realize they were anxiety? Feel free to hit reply or drop a comment — I’m listening.
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https://medium.com/@esha.usmani.3/7-signs-of-anxiety-i-missed-until-they-almost-burned-me-out-785b8889f9c5?source=rss------anxiety-5
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The Uncomfortable Truth About Modern Life
The Uncomfortable Truth About Modern Life How too much ease harms our well-being…. Rosa Diaz-Casal 5 min read · Just now Just now -- Share Photo by Mikhail Nilov: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-woman-using-her-credit-card-and-laptop-in-online-shopping-6969932/ Life has become easier and more convenient in so many different ways. A lot of things are available instantly and real discomfort has become less common for many of us. But, at the same time, many people feel more anxious, unmotivated or disconnected even when nothing seems wrong on the surface. In his book, The Comfort Crisis, author Michael Easter talks about things that seem helpful but actually do harm and what we can do instead. So many of us live in cities. We are drawn to places where there are opportunities, movement, people, and comfort. According to this book, it is actually rooted in our instincts. Our brains are wired to seek out environments that feel rich with resources or chances to grow or connect. But what happens when we never leave that environment? What happens when life becomes all comfort, all convenience, all man-made city life? Most of us now live surrounded by artificial light and constant noise — cars, trains, footsteps above, traffic outside the window, maybe neighbors talking through thin walls. Even when we think we are used to it, our nervous systems are still reacting to it all the time.
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https://medium.com/walks-of-life/the-uncomfortable-truth-about-modern-life-5999d0afc2e8?source=rss------anxiety-5
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The Root of My Anxiety Wasn’t What I Thought — It Was Me Not Trusting Myself
Photo by Sage Friedman on Unsplash The Root of My Anxiety Wasn’t What I Thought — It Was Me Not Trusting Myself Vivi Fame 4 min read · 3 hours ago 3 hours ago -- Listen Share For a while now, I’ve wondered why I struggle to fully communicate — even in simple, everyday conversations with family. And recently, I think I uncovered a big part of the reason. It’s anxiety. Not the loud, panicked kind — but the subtle kind that hides in how I articulate my thoughts. I noticed that whenever I speak, I tend to rush. I talk so fast, jumbling my words, even when the message is clear in my head. Why? Because I’ve been afraid that people wouldn’t have the patience to really listen. That if I take too long, or tell a story slowly, they’ll lose interest or stop engaging. And if I tell a joke and it doesn’t land? My mind spirals. Another part of the anxiety comes from fear of not sounding “smart enough.” That maybe I won’t use the right grammar or my words won’t come out polished. So while I’m speaking, I’m also overthinking — and that jumbles everything even more. But recently, I told myself something new: “I’m just going to slow down and talk. No one’s going to punch me for it.” People speak at a regular pace all the time. They mess up, pause, take their time — and no one scolds them. So why should I expect less grace for myself? And even if someone does get impatient? That’s a them problem, not a me problem. Because I know what I’m saying. Photo by Ashlyn Ciara on Unsplash 💭 A Mindset Shift I Didn’t Expect I used to tell myself that the reason I stumbled over my words was because I didn’t know how to articulate my thoughts. But the truth is — I do. When I slow down, I speak better. When I write without rushing, I communicate more clearly. And I actually noticed that in the text I wrote just before this one — it was calm. Not chaotic. Not jumbled. It flowed. Because I chose to write without fear — without the rush to “just get it all out before I forget.” Even as I was entering a keke that day, I had an idea I wanted to write down. But the seat I got didn’t make it easy, and anxiety tried to creep in with this old fear: “You’re going to forget it. You won’t be able to write it later.” But this time, I stopped that thought. I told myself, “No. I’ll remember it. I trust myself.” And just like that… I felt calm. Not just in my mind — in my entire body. Photo by Good Faces on Unsplash What That Moment Taught Me There’s been so much internal chaos in me. And I realized — I was the one creating it. Because the moment I treated myself like a smart girl — like someone who could actually control her thoughts and memory — I felt something I hadn’t felt in a while: Confidence. Clarity. Calm. And that’s when it all clicked. The root of my anxiety wasn’t just fear. It was a lack of self-trust. It was the belief that I couldn’t handle things. That I would forget. That I wasn’t enough — and never would be. I used to dress it up as humility, but it wasn’t. It was self-doubt. And honestly, it was tearing me down. ❤️ The Real Work: Trusting Myself Now I see that self-love isn’t complete without self-trust. I have to believe that I can remember. That I do know what I’m saying. That I am capable. Because the way I treat myself — the thoughts I speak over myself — that’s what sets the tone for how others treat me, and how I show up in the world. And guess what? I am growing. I am learning. And it’s showing — not just in my writing or speaking, but in the way I talk to myself. So no, I’m not going to keep hiding behind fear of imperfection. I’m not going to rush my words or doubt my thoughts. I’m not going to dim my expression because I think I’m not “good enough.” There’s a clear difference between arrogance and confidence. And what I’m walking in now — this is confidence. The kind rooted in grace, growth, and truth. With calm and courage, Vera #TheRubyProcess #BecomingHer #ConfidenceJourney #OvercomingAnxiety #SelfTrustIsPower
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https://medium.com/@iamvivifame/the-root-of-my-anxiety-wasnt-what-i-thought-it-was-me-not-trusting-myself-aab6c9a249f2?source=rss------anxiety-5
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The Kind of Pain That No One Sees
The Kind of Pain That No One Sees Anxiety and Depression Isn’t Just “Feeling Sad” Leighann Ash 4 min read · 3 hours ago 3 hours ago -- Share Photo by Anthony Tran on Unsplash Cue sarcasm. “Oh, you just have it so bad, don’t you?” They say I’m being too much. That I should just “be more positive.” But here’s the thing: I don’t think my life is harder than anyone else’s. I just suffer in ways most people don’t understand. Unless you’ve lived with anxiety and depression, not just for a day or a week, but for years, you have no idea how heavy it feels to carry this kind of weight all the time. This isn’t just “feeling sad.” It’s struggling to function, smile, breathe, and just exist. And it’s invisible. Which makes it easy for people to dismiss, which makes me feel judged. They think I’m just being dramatic. I started noticing a disconnect when I’d open up about my struggles. People would respond with, “you’re just overthinking it,” or “you don’t look depressed.” The worst part is that I started to believe them. I thought there was something wrong with me. Maybe I was too sensitive. But deep down, I knew this wasn’t just a phase. It wasn’t a mindset issue. It was real. And it was ruining my life.
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https://medium.com/new-writers-welcome/the-kind-of-pain-that-no-one-sees-0bfd1a162b69?source=rss------anxiety-5
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The Anxiety of Never Slowing Down
The Anxiety of Never Slowing Down Jonas.Vale 2 min read · 3 hours ago 3 hours ago -- Listen Share You wake up with your mind already running. Tasks. Messages. Notifications. Plans. Even your rest feels rushed. Welcome to the quiet panic of modern life — where stopping feels unsafe, and doing nothing feels wrong. ## Always “on” Somewhere along the way, we confused stillness with laziness. Productivity became morality. Rest became guilt. We don’t pause to breathe. We pause to switch tabs. Then we call that balance. ## The fear of slowing down Slowing down means facing: - The thoughts we’ve ignored - The emptiness we’ve been covering with busyness - The uncomfortable truth that maybe we don’t know who we are without motion So we keep moving. Not toward something. But away. ## When rest becomes foreign You’ve been trained to **earn** your rest. Only after X tasks, Y hours, Z results. So when you stop without permission — even just for a moment — your body relaxes, but your mind revolts. That’s not peace. That’s exhaustion. ## Learning to pause again Try this: - Sit in silence for 10 minutes without a goal - Go for a walk without your phone - Let your mind wander without fixing it - Do something slow — and don’t call it “unproductive” > Rest isn’t what happens after the work is done. > Rest is part of the work of being human. **You don’t have to keep up. You just have to come back to yourself.**
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https://medium.com/@jonas.vale.blog/the-anxiety-of-never-slowing-down-cc4a364ec1d1?source=rss------anxiety-5
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august 26 will be my last day. just wanted someone to know i existed i’m 21. i’ve lived in survival mode for most of my life. abusive father. financial breakdown. emotional trauma. now a job i hate just to keep my mom and me afloat. no dreams. no joy. just dragging through each day with nothing left in the tank. i’ve tried meds. tried distractions. tried holding onto love that never loved me back. but nothing helped. the numbness always wins. i’ve chosen august 26 as my last day. not for attention. just because i’m tired. tired in a way i can’t explain anymore. i’m not here for hope. i don’t want to be fixed. i just want someone to know i was here. that i tried. thanks for reading. edit - just wanted to say thank you to everyone who took time to comment. i didn’t expect so many kind and honest words from strangers. even if it doesn’t change where my mind is right now, it means a lot that you saw me, that you cared enough to respond. i’ve read every comment. thank you, truly.
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I wish I was dead I wish I never woke up tomorrow, or had to deal with this bullshit. I wish I never even existed to begin with, since nobody even cares or knows about my existence. This world is not meant for everyone. You cannot save everyone. And I guess I am one of those that cannot be saved, or even worthy of being saved. Fuck this life. Fuck everything and everyone. Fuck you all. We will all see each other in hell.
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Yea life wasn’t meant for me It just wasn’t. I can’t do it.
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I’m tired of being here tbh I’m so tired of being here. I’m tired of my brain and everything that I am. I can barely even form full sentences when I’m typing and it takes me so much mental energy just to write a paragraph like this one. I used to write poems for fun and to express myself, now they are so exhausting that it causes more harm than good. I feel like a complete fucking failure, I had so much potential and now I’m just nothing and I don’t know what went wrong. Well I do kinda and it was trauma that happened to me, as a kid and teen, neither were my fault but now I have to deal with it and pick up the pieces and deal with my life. I’m failing university, my parents are disappointed in me, everyone is disappointed in me because I was supposed to have graduated by now and be on my way to med school but instead I’m still taking and failing first year classes, and I’ve switched my major twice now. I hate myself so much and I think I would be better off if I wasn’t on this earth any longer. Not just me but the people around me. People are probably tired of me and I just want to make people proud but my brain doesn’t let me study like I used to be able to and I don’t have any in real life friends to talk to about this or hang out with, I don’t do anything. My life is just work/school, eat, and sleep. I have no motivation for anything and the worst part is that I try to pretend to be ok when I’m out in public, I was at a kids event tonight for my work and I tired to pretend to be happy but I’m just not happy. I don’t remember the last time I was genuinely happy. I’m so fucking tired of being alive.
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Just want it to stop M 22, I have no desire no energy to do anything anymore, always exhausted feels like I wasted 5 years of my life doing nothing. Never got my driving licence can’t find the energy to clean my room or even take a shower most days. Sometimes my dad would say why is ur room like that and I don’t know the answer myself. Everything feels like a chore I just wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. No relationships I’ve resulted to just watching porn for any needs I might require. I feel different to all my friends therefore lack any connections with them that they might have amongst themselves. Always wanting to pick the easy option the lazy option. I always wish there were people that understood me but how will that be if I don’t understand myself. Sorry for the rant I just had to get it all out
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The only person standing in my way is me That is my downfall. That is how i will die. There is really nothing more to say about it.
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Do I want to be rescued, or do i want to sink deeper ? Am I even alive anymore ? Fuck this shit
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1ltw3dg
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so tired of suffering I’ve just been so miserable for so long. Got a job just to get by but I don’t like it. I wanna quit so bad. I just go to work and come home. I don’t have the energy to do anything. I’m so alone and don’t feel like I have a future.
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1ltely7
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I don't want to die but I don't wanna live I just don't see the point in trying. I don't see the point in any form of effort. Going to work, cleaning, washing myself. It will not grant me peaceful life. The cost outweighs the gains. It actually feels good to lay in bed all day. And distract myself from reality. I'd be happy to go to work if it gave me a guarantee of peaceful life. I don't dream to be rich. I just want to have my piece of peace in the world. The cost of going to work unfortunately outweighs the benefits it gives. I have autism and social phobia so even going for groceries is mentally taxing. Naturally, going to an office and working with people for hours is even worse. I'm 25, I know that's young, I have been moderately successful academically and I have talents. But I just realised none of it matters if I don't have connections (for work) and friends/lovers (for general life satisfaction). I feel cursed with the need to socialize, while I am socially stunted. Also, the state of international affairs and Earth's climate prevents me from believing in a happy future. The rivers in my country are drying already. Have you been there? Have you overcome it? I'd love for someone to tell me I'm wrong, but please refrain from empty words and vague promises of "it gets better" and the like.
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1ltvn0e
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i feel so ugh **Indian parenting is fucking messed up, everything form the way they treat your to the way they make you feel abt it**  The best of it all, we gave your birth, were giving you facilities, were giving you a roof to live under, were giving you food  Liked duh  Human rights where ??  I did not ask to be born  You decided to have children, you decided to breed, you decided to give in to the parental pressure of not having children and giving birth  Iam just here, bearing the torture due to you making that decision  I did not ask to be born, YOU DECIDED TO HAVE CHILDERN, you OWE me those basic human necessities as my parents, THAT THE BARE MINIMUM  THATS WHATS EXPECTED OF YOU, DO NOT MAKE ME FEEL LIKE YOURE DOING SOMETHING GOOD AND DO NOT MAKE YOURSELF FEEL LIKE YOURE BEING GOOD PARENTS BY DOING THAT  Its so fucking pathetic  Alright so to an actual story now, my parents are fucking pathetic, totally, from the morning I wake up to the night I sleep I do not spend a second without feeling like iam a failure I didn’t have any friends as a child Always bullied  Physically to a point I need to spend hours in a hospital bed, i was always picked on because iam so weak and pathetic and I cant protect myself Then I had one friend that I was close to, quite my only friend and in the fear of losing him I did something, I hurt myself, my parents found out but instead of talking to me abt it, being there for me they did the next best thing, detach me from the entire world, take all my electronics away and leave me to fend with my emotions alone, I spent the entirety of covid growing closer and closer to insanity, closer and closer to killing myself, closer and closer to one day just end it, I did go up to my grandmothers houses roof and almost do it but my pussy ass did not have the courage to do that either  Cut to 10th boards  I did not do well  80% overall Its ass ik    I was a straight a’s kid  But shit like this isn’t really the best for your mental health and studies  Right now iam in 11th, doing much much better, I got a full in physics test yesterday but I cant help but still feel pathetic about it, that iam still a loser, and no matter what I change ill still be the pathetic little child who’s never going to be enough, but guess what  On Monday I was talking to a friend of mine  Ok more than a friend I suppose  After talking to her I feel loved, I feel calm, I feel at home, that I can do anything, iam amazing, iam nurtured and and that iam enough just the way iam  So yeah  I was talking to her  My mom comes into my room pissed abt some bs I dont even know  Sees that iam on the phone  Takes my phone away and I still haven’t gotten it back, I asked for it today but instead I got a abnormally long lecture on how iam a failure, how they’re doing so much for (pay my fees and give me food ? Damn ?) and overall made me feel so pathetic about myself  I am still texting her through ;laptop but I cant help but feel pathetic  Like how she deserves way more than me  How its unbelievable that she likes a loser like me ? I have had no contact with anything for the past 5 days, school friends played cricket today and I knew nothing abt it, apt friends pulled monopoly scene and I knew nothing about that either And just like that iam back to when I was a child crying in my room because no one understood me, crying in my room because I feel lifes meaningless, crying because I dont see a future for myself, all I see in the mirror is a pathetic ugly little failure staring back, almost mocking me that no matter what I dont I cant change who I am  I cant change that iam  a  ***Loser*** edit: forgot to add, I have anxiety, even the slightest inconvenience and I lose my mind, no like no joke I start pulling on my hair, cracking my knuckles very aggressively, punching the air or sometimes worse, hitting my self or picking myself, and this is all because of these two people who're supposed to be my parents my mom has bipolar disorder I kid you not (ok maybe not actually), I could forget to pick my plate of food and ill be verbally and physically abused for that small of a thing yk they kicked me out of house once, and I roamed around for 3 hours in my apt, I almost fainted cause I didn't eat anything that day, and when I was back and they opened the door a bit, I barged in, forcing myself on the door, ofc I did, why wouldn't I ?, and they still hold this against me, I cant turn my back towards someone, if anyone even raises their voice I start crying, if anyone even raises their hand I flinch because of all the bullying and abuse at home. OH AND WIAT you wanna know why they kicked me out of home ????? I DONT REMMEBER AHA it was so small I dont even remember
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Social anxiety is so bad Is anyone here having a clinical depression and has social anxiety as well? It is very conflicting because you need someone to talk to but your social anxiety avoids you from doing that. I just hated myself even more. I just want to die that why it is so hard. Even to my parents and even closest friends I am afraid. Now i am isolating myself now and it makes my depression really worse.
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Feeling utter defeat I'm defeated, fully. My mother is ill and just recently our medical cards have been cancelled and we're deleted off the system, now she will probably feel worse since it would be months before we can get a new medical card and until then she can't receive any medical attention, and i hate how powerless i am to do anything here, she has a dangerous disease and fuckers won't accept her without some fucking medical card, fuck this shit. I grew up with mom and dad in poverty, but recently i feel as we have became even more poor, nowadays me and my mother barely have enough money to buy bread and have to borrow money from others, while my dad is in a whole another country trying his best to build us a new life, but i won't fucking last to see it cause my dad is in a lot of debt already from the past, and it would be years of paying it off to the fucking bank before we start to have a stable life. As a kid i dreamed life would be nice to me and fuck me for ever even thinking life would be a comfy fantasy, this is utter fucking hell and i don't care who says what, it will only get WORSE in the future. I don't want to bear this anymore, while some undeserving fucker out there was born with everything on a silver plate with a cherry on top. I hate this world and what it is becoming and i wish to not be a part of this. I never signed up to live this life in the first place, there's nothing holding me to live this pathetic life, i can take it away whenever i want, it is no gift if i have to suffer the entire time. I will kill myself.
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antidepressants? what does it feel like having antidepressants? do you suddenly become a bundle of joy and laugh a lot or something? genuine question.
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I just want to be given a chance Whether it’s romantically or even getting hired for a job. I just wish someone would give me a chance so I’d at least have something to be happy about.
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1ltpvrv
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just tired of feeling like this don’t really know how to explain it, but i’ve been feeling numb most days. not sad all the time, just... empty. nothing feels fun. even getting out of bed feels like work. i try to act normal around people but it’s getting harder. i laugh at jokes, but inside i feel nothing. it’s like i’m watching life happen, not living it.
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I am a victim to cyber sexual abuse My indecent video is being circulated, already facing slutshaming and bullying. my life has reachen a new low, i am losing my will to survive any of this more long
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I hate everyone I just want to sit in my apartment and play world of warcraft. Fuck people I hate them.
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Idk what to do- literally Hey, everyone. I think I am starting to be depressed again. I have major depressive disorder. Basically I have nothing to do today, I have NO MONEY. A little bit of gas and just want some ideas on what I can do today and until Thursday so I don’t bedrot (because I will all week until I work again on Thursday). It’s going to be in the 80’s this week. I literally only have 40 cents in my bank account which unfortunately cancels out a lot of things I could do. Family is busy, I live by myself and don’t have any friends. Also I kinda just went through a breakup. Sometimes I go on walks in the morning to get outside. Idk I just don’t wanna fall into another depressive episode because I’m pretty vulnerable to right now.
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1ltfavd
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Depression and Anxiety Brain Damage I honestly think my depression and anxiety have caused me brain damage. I am just not as sharp as I used to be, struggle with finding words and formulating sentences. I am not like cognitively incapacitated, but it is all just more difficult. Anyone else experience this and know what could be done, if anything, to repair the damage?
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I am pathetic I never had anyone to rely on my entire life and everytime I found someone with whom I was comfortable I would just ruin it by being overly dependent on them. I won't say I have no one to lean on rn but I feel so fucking alone. Every time I have a panic attack I pick up my phone I wanna reach out to someone but I can't think of anyone. Rn I am on meds for depression but it had started making me feel more pathetic day by day. I have one friend whom I really love and she knows about this (partly) and when I say I love her I mean I love her genuinely. But I can't even decide for myself that if this feeling is genuine or is it like just an obsession streaming from my nature of overly depending on someone.
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1ltvmta
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Heartbroken and soul shattered My boyfriend told me he has only stayed this long because he felt sorry for me and he wishes he could die to get away from me. I told him if that was why he was staying, he could go as I did not need anyone to feel sorry for me nor will I force anyone to stay. He said, "thank you for that information" and that was that. He says he loves me but how can someone feel like that way and still love someone? I am supposed to go see him at the end of the month but at this point, I do not see the point. He is obviously where he wants to be and it is not with me. I am heartbroken and my soul is shattered over this information. Why am I not worthy of being loved? Why does everyone keep leaving? I am a good person with a big heart, and honestly give way more chances to people then I should. I just want to die, everyone would be better off without me.
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1ltqvk6
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I think I’m depressed and have been for a long time, but I don’t wanna sound like I’m self diagnosing. I know this isn’t a therapist or someone who can diagnose it, but I want to know whether or not I’m depressed or just lazy and low energy. I’ve been repeatedly denying hanging out with my brother when he asks to watch a movie or something because I don’t have the energy or want to do whatever he’s asking to do, and I feel guilty about it. I know one day I’m going to regret not doing all those things he asked me to do with him, and it scares me, but I don’t know what else to do. If I say yes, then I’m forcing myself to do something I don’t wanna do and that never ends well. It’s like… I want to hang out with my brother, (it’s confusing because of how me and him aren’t really ‘best friends’ anymore) but I always say no when he wants to do something with me. Because I have this boat of comfort where I basically doom scroll on the internet all day in my bed, as well as pace around my room with music in my AirPods. And when something rocks that boat of comfort, like having to do something with my sibling, or going to a friends house, or even answering calls and texts from friends, I get irritated and immediately want to go back to the boat of comfort. I hate that I miss out on doing all of these good things that my friends or siblings are doing or ask me to do, but I can’t help it. I hate leaving the boat of comfort 99% of the time. Sometimes I have the energy or eagerness to go and do something so I do, but most of the time I stay in the boat of comfort and do pretty much nothing. I went homeschool because the new school I’d went to was making me miserable because I had made no friends so I was alone every day. The homeschool was much better, considering I was less stressed from not having to wake up at 5:00 am every day and go to bed earlier than my bedtime just so I had the energy to even go about my day. But I don’t know what it is. I’m happier with being homeschooled because I can be alone in my room (the boat of comfort) and just do whatever and not worry about any school related things, but at the same time… Maybe I’m not as miserable as I was when I was in my new school, but now it’s like… a cruising altitude of depression? Like I’m low on energy, I’m not interested in doing most of the things I used to be interested in doing, and I don’t really like to leave my room at all. Meanwhile before I moved, I’d leave my bedroom a lot and had friends. I was happy, despite my eating disorder being at its worst during that time. But now, I really don’t have any friends except for my best friend, and even then I find myself pushing away from her just because of the stupid boat of comfort and not wanting or having the energy to talk to anyone. I’m at home 99% of the time, in my boat of comfort. I eat once a day but that’s kind of the least of my concerns. I stay up all night long and sleep in till 1:00 or 3:00 PM the next day mainly because then I don’t have to wait so long for my one meal of the day, dinner. I feel like what I’m going through here is depression. Can y’all give input? I know nobody here can diagnose me, but I just wanna know if I’m being lazy or if I’m depressed.
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1ltqul5
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How do I help my depressed boyfriend in opening himself up to me? Me and my boyfriend are in our 20s and have been together for 5 years. Recently, I went away to another country for a few months and meanwhile he developed depression for various reasons. The distance was horrible and I had a really hard time adjusting to the new him (his personality changed drastically in a span of basically 2 weeks) and so I used to get angry for not recieving attention when I was away, so my boyfriend started feeling very guilty and started withdrawing even more. Now that I'm back, I'm changing and I'm being more supportive, trying not to expect things from him that he can't give me. The problem is that now he is closed up. It's been at least a month since he spoke to me about how he is, how he is doing with his therapist etc. so I don't know anything anymore. At best he tells me that he is tired or he says sorry if I'm sad. For now, I'm trying to spend time with him doing simple things that we like and I try to ask few questions. However, I know I can't go on like this forever, so what can I do to make him open up more? Is the way I am behaving ok? Can I do more? I am really lost because I don't know what I should do. I wish there was someone guiding me on how to behave in these situations... I don't want to hurt him but I also want to actively help. Thank you for reading
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1ltmst8
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It takes a fair minute to tidy your room after a massive depressive episode but gosh it fells better. Clean sheets, washing away everything, put away in its place, certainly makes me feel a lot better. It's been months.
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1ltk7iw
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How does someone go 24 years without making one lasting friendship? I’ve had mental health problems my whole life that have been largely neglected due to living in poverty. Making and keeping friends has always been difficult for me. Now it’s really catching up to me. I’ve had multiple breakdowns back to back everyday having found myself in one of the most difficult and hopeless situations of my life, and having to deal with it completely alone is crushing me. I’m crying right now typing this because I’m so fucking lonely there’s not a soul I can reach out to to comfort me and life doesn’t feel worth the effort anymore
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1ltusez
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I'm doing it I don't yet know when and how but it's over. Stay strong everybody because i couldn't
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1ltomsa
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Empty body craving love The world doesn’t stop because you want to get off. Happiness isn’t a choice, it’s a mask. A mask you wear until your skin dries up and the daily routine of pretending is too heavy to carry. It’s plaster over holes in your soul and it fills the void with memories to make you think it’s real. It is real. I am happy. Until you’re not. Until the day you wake up realising you’re nothing but a sad, empty body craving the attention and love of those who would never truly understand you. Living in a world full of people who take everything, it’s not living. Nobody truly wants to make you happy. Nobody truly understands you. You crave the love and affection of people who don’t even want you. You’re a convenience, nothing more. Survive the pain of life with a heavy and worn mask. Survive until it’s too much. Survive until the dull achy feeling of emptiness pushes you over the edge.
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1ltpjp6
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I think I’m too self aware to find a way forward. I guess what I’m feeling is this mental restlessness. A feeling like I’m always behind on something but I can’t pinpoint what it is. I have these terrible thoughts of things I need to do when I get back home when I’m supposed to be enjoying a holiday. I have this need to be doing something, anything, at all time. And the problem is I’m having these thoughts while I’m doing something else so it undermines all my experiences. And I keep seeing people who are living in the moment and making the most of life but I can’t shake this feeling that I’m just observing it all like I’m some kind of ghost. I know that If I were to tell my parents that I’d like to see a therapist they’d immediately try and talk some sense in to me, as if I’m overthinking things. And if I actually didn’t listen to them and went ahead and saw one, I know they’d chat about it behind my back because I’ve seen it happen firsthand. Just for reference, I am studying a degree, and am I am employed as well, and I do enjoy going to the gym and hanging out with friends. It’s the moments that I’m alone that these thoughts creep up. It must be my mental state. I’m too self aware to find a way forward. Every interaction I have it’s like my presence isn’t needed. I don’t think I’m right in the head and if anyone has any suggestions I’d happily listen.
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1lt80jh
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My ex getting married triggered depression I just found out from a mutual friend that my ex is getting married. We broke up months ago. I thought I was over him, but I'm not. I'm just trying to accept it, but moving on is hard. I never loved anyone as much as I loved him. I might never get that feeling again from anyone else. I'm dreading going back to the office tomorrow because work is the furthest thing from my mind. I feel like crap right now. I don't know how to fix this or if it will ever go away.
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1lt8h10
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Can depression lead to masochism? I'm not referring to masochism in a sexual sense, but I'm guessing people will assume that anyway. Recently, I've discovered that whenever I feel pain, I feel exhilarated by it, but I do not normally derive pleasure from pain. I think I feel kind of numb, so experiencing any sort of strong physical sensation seems pleasant.
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1lto1bx
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I can't do shit Im a fucking pussy for not having the guts to actually kill myself. I get a belt, around my neck and door, lay there helplessly and stop before I actually pass out. Then I breakdown, why? I don't know. Im stupid just like that. I can't do it but I also dont wanna live anymore. Seems like I can't be a functioning human anymore. I can't do anything at all. I don't live, I just do shit so I could die faster, I dont take care of myself. I drink, I stuff my face with everything, I cut and rot in bed, and just hope this lifestyle leads to my death fast so I'm actually not the one to kill myself.
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1ltihuk
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I want to literally can't do this anymore I feel like there is no point in living anymore, my parents hate me, I have no friends its so lonely. I just want to end it. It is so hard pleasing others. I just wanted to be the perfect daughter, but every-time I try I feel like its not enough for my parents and my brother. They always want more from me. I need therapy but I don't know how to tell my parents so they don't think i'm a crazy person. I have scratches all over my body from self-harm. I'm so close to just ending it, and i don't know who to tell about this. I hate the world for being mean to people who are suffering, why can't I just feel happy anymore.
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1ltmdr6
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Im a mom and I’m so done Im living with my parents and I have a child, 2 years old. Her father and I got separated last feb. Im the eldest and living with my mom and my siblings is so mentally and emotionally tiring. It also put me into a financial distress since I have to contribute something here at home. Its just so draining when you’re doing your best to keep up but the people around you doesn’t see you suffering. They feel like just because they help me look after my child, they can disrespect me. I want to move out but Im not financially capable to do that. It’s so unfair seeing my ex doing well, while im here suffering. Im tired of them treating me like im the worse person ever live. Im just doing my best to survive but now, I don’t know how I can keep up anymore.
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1lts0gx
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I trully lost all strenght and hope, to change myself Like they say, no one is gonna save you but yourself. And we have people who fall thousand times and get back up every time. In my case, everything broke me. Little by little, year by year, I am now at 30, broken, lost, and thinking about the day i'll day, gives me the only hope, my suffering will end. I am afraid, that soon I might acutally have a reson to end it. I dont want to, but the world we live in, is not made for us to enjoy it. I refuse to work my life away, especially when working allows you only to survive, not to actually live. As a young kid, I watched The Secret. And it did more harm than good. I cannot accept, nor will I ever again, that I need to have a job to survive. I dont want to survive and live in a world, that I dislike. Because of that Secret i'm still hoping for a miracle, but if that does not happen soon, then this is probably it. As morbid as that might sound, I rather suffer for a min or two after kicking the chair, than to suffer for idk, 10-20 or even 30 more years? No thanks.
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1lt2dxe
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Does life actually get better My life has been on a slow decline since 2020 and every time a make an effort to make it better it ends up amounting to fuck all and I just end up more sad and hopeless than I was before I feel like just giving up and not moving from my bed I actually just want to die yet for some fuck ass reason god keeps me alive like I just make everyone sad and it feels like if a room of people is happy then I make it awkward I literally avoid sitting with my family and friends because I feel like I ruin it I don’t even want to be alive I wish there was a button I could press and I could never be born yet everyone says it won’t be better if I’m gone but my brain sees all the stuff I do and it literally tells me it would be better if I were dead
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1ltwhro
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Don’t think I’ll ever recover I don’t feel anything anymore. Im young but very self aware. Im too far gone. I’ve pushed everyone away and don’t even have the energy to regret it. I’m in a dark place and see no light to get out. How do you recover from not having any emotion and years of isolation, is what I end up asking myself at some point everyday. I can visualize myself getting everything I want in the physical world, but can never visualize my life with me happy.
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1ltw2kv
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Did I do wrong in asking for help? Good afternoon, This is my first time using this, so I don’t fully understand how it works. I’ve been struggling with severe depression for a long time, and I’ve reached a point where I can’t see any light at the end, no way out. I spend nights awake, unable to sleep, I’ve had issues with food, and in general, with socializing. Recently, I decided to try opening up to my friends as a last resort. I told them about my situation, opened up to them, and shared how my mind was at that moment. To summarize, they decided that all I was doing was seeking attention, that I shouldn’t burden them with it, and that I should seek help elsewhere, without asking anything from them. This is the first time I’ve opened up like this to anyone, and all I wanted was for them to understand me, nothing more. I didn’t ask them to help me or accompany me in the process, just to listen. Since that moment, I’ve let my mind consume me, as it has for a long time, but this time without resisting. I’ve let my mind label me with things that aren’t true, like “seeking attention” or “my problems aren’t important enough.” Yesterday, while staring at the ceiling without thinking about anything, I decided I couldn’t accept that people were labeling me like that when all I wanted was for them to listen. I decided that I need to talk to someone before my mind completely consumes me. I don’t know what else to do. Could you give me any advice on how to escape my own mind? I apologize for my English; it’s not my mother tongue. Thanks <3
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1ltvz96
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My depression is burning me out and making me feel physically ill I feel completely exhausted, it’s like I’m sick with something. I don’t know what’s going on but this always seems to happen when I’m recovering from a really bad panic attack, depressive episode or some kind of mental breakdown. Maybe I’m just imagining things (I know I sound crazy), but I don’t know how else to describe it. My brain feels foggy and my sinuses feel swollen. Has anyone else dealt with this?
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1ltvnhf
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I find it very strange that the brain doesn't think of the real complications of suicide attempts when suicidal. I'd like to share a new idea for suicide prevention that addresses this. It just wants a way out. An escape from the severe pain of reality. At least in my experience. It feels like the mind thinks in a kind of strange daze, that somehow your soul will still be present and it will be just like sleeping. Peaceful even. You're kind of depersonalised and floating... but it's a cognitive distortion caused by overwhelming pain... society often sanitises and romanticises death... but death and dying are never peaceful. It doesn't think of all the blood spilt, the nerve damage, the painful asphyxiation or broken bones of impact, the severe electrolyte imbalances, paralysis or brain injury, the painful organ failure or loss of control over bodily functions. It doesn't think of the loss of consciousness and bodily decomposition into a disgusting, malodorous putrid mess where flies will lay their eggs in and maggots will eat their eyes, skin and organs until there's nothing left but a skeleton. It doesn't think of the family members, friends and/or coworkers who will have to live with the loss of their loved one for life, and who, alongside police and paramedics, will be utterly traumatised forever by seeing their dead body. I feel thinking about those things grounds you firmly in reality and makes you less likely to act on such dangerous impulses. Because when you're suicidal you're usually not grounded in reality. Hopefully this can save lives. I think this needs to be studied and utilised in new suicide prevention campaigns. Additionally I think this change also begins with talking honestly about death. Our culture doesn't talk frankly about the process of death or dying, instead choosing peaceful euphemisms such as "passed away," "gone to a better place," "died peacefully in his sleep." We romanticize death so much in our society as a peaceful end to someone's suffering and then when people tragically attempt on their lives and die by suicide we question why they did it. Our society's prudishness about death enables such behaviour.
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1ltouev
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I just needed to vent The people on this subreddit already have enough to deal with, but I honestly don’t know any other way to express these feelings of deep anguish that I’m having. I’m 22, I’ve been studying CG animation for 3 years now, and despite that, I have gained no impressive skills that can land me a job, while the rest of my course has already developed phenomenal skills in one or more fields. During these past 3 years I have dedicated everything to this, I sacrificed being with my friends and family in the hopes to improve, but no matter how hard I tried my work always remained mediocre at best. My whole life has been kind of a shit show too, at elementary schools I was physically and emotionally abused by my teacher, in middle school I got relentlessly bullied to the point that I had a mental break down and tried my first suicide attempt. In high school I was so mentally crushed that I became a social outcast, I only enjoyed my second year because I somehow managed to make a friend, who was later forced to leave that school and my city. He’s not my only friend, but if I have to be honest with you, though I deeply care for all of them, most are complete fuckups that stumble through life seeking a purpose. I’m not much different from them, but it hurts to be that way. My family doesn’t take depression seriously and has such I haven’t been diagnosed, but the symptoms are clear and I’m pretty sure I’ve developed many other problems throughout the years. I’ve never felt more alone and depressed in my life but I always feels like my suffering is insignificant, that other people’s burden’s are far worse than mine and I should just shut up about how miserable I feel. My parents keep saying I’m always acting like a victim and that I should suck it up, but I don’t know how, every time I try something I fail miserably, over and over again. I’ve tried taking my own lives multiple Times throughout this last year, but I’m always too scared of how painful it’s going to be, so instead I just coped with my shame by over eating which makes me feel even worse. My family don’t know about my suicidal tendencies and keep pretending that I’m normal and that I’m just a little bit under the weather, but I don’t know how long I am going to be able to hold on to life. Even if I get diagnosed and receive some medications I don’t think someone would hire someone with such a dangerous cocktail of mental illnesses. Sorry if I sound dramatic, but I feel desperate and I needed a place to vent my frustration.
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1ltnenh
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Think im going to check myself in Been depressed for months. Detached been having fleeting moments of wanting to SH and God am I tired all the time. I feel like a shell just going through the motions. I've talked to my primary and he's been trying just not successfully
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1ltvbjv
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THE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN SAVE ME IS ME BUT I DON'T l i just want to pack my bags and have a new identity. I don't want to kill myself i want to kill my self. Everything what i am right now i want to get rid of, blank page. Try over. I wish i could just be reborn. I wish i could do it all over and do it right this time, but i just don't. I keep myself in this cycle. I do that, nobody else. That is why i despise myself so much. Nobody can fix myself but me and i just...don't. I am cursed by the fact that day in day out I don't change myself. That my own fate is in my hands and i don't do jack shit. I am haunted by all the lives i could be living right this second, they flash before my eyes like alternative realities, and there's so many, so much. I feel like a charachter in a show with so much potential for a good story line but just doesn't get any development. It's eating me inside.
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1ltv3dl
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struggling to sleep because I don’t want to wake up the next day This has been happening to me since I was a kid and it’s very frustrating, not resting well makes my days more miserable than they already are, I feel like i’m sabotaging myself but I really don’t wanna deal with the struggles of tomorrow and I procrastinate everything even showers I feel bad with myself and I don’t know how to deal with it and I don’t want yo bother anyone
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1ltv0ka
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struggling to sleep because I don’t want to wake up the next day This has been happening to me since I was a kid and it’s very frustrating, not resting well makes my days more miserable than they already are, I feel like i’m sabotaging myself but I really don’t wanna deal with the struggles of tomorrow and I procrastinate everything even showers I feel bad with myself and I don’t know how to deal with it and I don’t want yo bother anyone
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1ltugw2
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Struggling with sudden depression and feeling overwhelmed I’ve been hit with a wave of depression out of nowhere, and honestly, it’s really taking a toll on me. I think it might be because I’m going through a rough patch in life, with things like debt, feeling unappreciated, and other stuff I don’t even want to acknowledge. I’ve been ignoring these feelings for a while, but now they’re really heavy. Lately, I’ve been lashing out at the people around me, and I feel terrible about it. Sometimes when it becomes overwhelming, I just want to run away for good. I don’t know what to do or how to handle it, and I’m also on strong medication. I’ve been going to the gym almost every day to try and keep my mind busy, but even that doesn’t fully help. The feelings still creep up on me. The last few days I been lashing out at someone I care about. I feel like horrible shit, but I set up these boundaries to myself to protect myself from how people want to think they can treat me. I don't think it's fair that people think they can treat me and say I cross 'boundaries' and they get upset, but when I tell them they cross mine. They just shrug it off or act like they don't care.
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1ltc5rf
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Got broken up with after three months because she lost feelings... feeling suicidal So about three months ago, me and this one girl immediately hit it off and we started dating shortly after. The only bad thing? She lived all 8 hours away from me and I knew we we're never going to meet in person. We would always call every night and we were happy... we had a "son" (who was a stuffed giraffe named Jeffrey, no correlation to Toys R' US Geoffrey) But then about a week ago, she wanted to break up because she lost feelings and didn't see a future, I took this very badly, like I have with every single relationship I've been in... I've felt empty and alone since then...and I've wanted to kill myself. I have a chair and a ceiling fan...all I need is a strong enough rope.... I've cried almost every night since because I can't stop thinking about her...I have a therapist and a psychiatrist, I also take antidepressants, I just think I'm tolerant of them now...I just don't know what to do to help myself anymore.... I'm close to being an adult....I can't die this early...
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1ltk3ew
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The Suicidal Colony I wonder what it would be like if a bunch of us depressed people from this reddit moved someplace together and carried out our lives living as a community. Anyone interested? Comment where in the world you are
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1ltnghi
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average life, great but its not meant for me. Hi, i have depression and anxiety with ADHD and dyslexia Because of these diseases i lived life with lies, i even lied myself and still i dont know who i am. I used medication but my financal problems didnt let me and specially after 3 months i felt like medicines dont do anything so every year i use them for two weeks at least let go my suicidal thoughts and im free again so let's cut the bullish-- Im not happy with my life everything is great im living on minimum but i have lots of friends, a pretty lovely girlfriend who is in depression way worse than mine and actually i have lots of energy in a social way and i love playin video games But its not meant for me, i want to do something more with my life, i want to actually do something to make my life less miserable, i want to build something with my hands, i want to being able to actually want something with my heart everything in my life feels like a addiction friends, games, girlfriend and its all perfect but i dont like it, im suffering it hurts me, not being able to get strings of my life to my hands, i cant learn anything, im not reading, i dont watch even youtube only content i consume is reels and it even makes me worse to spend my time with it i have energy for everyone in my life but not for myself i dont want to do anything i dont have anything to do for myself N-- i hope its correct subreddit
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1ltt921
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I don’t think I’ll make it through this time. The pressure has slowly but surely been building all year. All for me to finally reach a moment where I’m not just sinking I’m gasping for breath and no way out of this water. I’m drowning. I’ve exhausted all options. I’ve done everything possible to avoid the inevitable. Someone like me isn’t meant to survive on this earth. I think current politics are being very clear about that. I’m a waste of space. A waste of resources. Reality is hitting me. The one thing I’ve been scared of going back to ever since the first time it happened to me is happening again. But I won’t survive it this time. Not at this point in my life. Ive lost everything and soon to have less than nothing. It’s not a matter of if, but when. There aren’t any words of encouragement that will get me through this. No fake positivity. I need an actual miracle. And miracle is a financial fairy god mother that can give me enough room to breathe. And that’s not happening. Not when we are all more or less in the same situations currently. And I can’t expect anyone to do anything for me. It’s figure it out or die. I’m trying, but it feels like the latter is happening. I can’t sleep, I can’t eat. I can’t enjoy anything to give me some relief. I’m just looking at the ceiling in tears how last year around this time was significantly different. I’m no stranger to the lows of life. I just didn’t think I’d be back this low again. And I can’t really do anything about it. Anyone I talk to is going to come at me with judgement and hollow words that mean nothing or telling me things I already know that don’t help. I don’t know why I’m posting this. Maybe it’s because I’m deluded in thinking a miracle is out there. Maybe it’s because I just want one last trace of where my mind is if I decide to go through with shutting the curtains on this shitshow once and for all. Maybe it’s a cry for help. Maybe I just need an outlet. I don’t know. But I’m leaving this here. If I give up it will be apparent. And proof that it doesn’t get better. If it works out, I can say I fought through my lowest point and found a way out. Either way my problems are no better or worse than the next man’s. But at the end of the day I just want to be at peace. Whatever that looks like. And if my peace doesn’t exist here anymore I’ll seek that solace in whatever comes next.
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1ltpaac
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Verbally Abusive Father My Father Always Verbally Abuse My Mother... , always say that buying books for me is wasting money if there's no results, I'm so depressed that sometimes I think that I should die. He is always trying to tell us that we are burden and he's fed for providing basic needs for me and my mom...., and in the past he was always trying to beat my mom but I don't let that happen...
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1ltt8aa
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Will my guns be seized if I try antidepressants Heart was recently ripped out of my chest by my soul mate who left with no explanation or reason. I dont want to live without her, but she left her entire life behind to get away from me. Depression is hitting me hard. The only things keeping me going is the hope that she returns, the love for my mom, and my cat. I have been having alot of anxiety attacks lately that seem to come in waves, sometimes 3 or 4 times a day. Each time I feel like im having a heart attack. I need to do something. Im thinking about trying a online telehealth service to see if i can get some medication but I have a ccw and im not sure if I would loose it.
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1ltp0q5
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how to make things right with your friends?! I don't really know how to make friends. I am not good at making conversation with anyone . I don't have good relationship with my family and relatives.but after I joined university my roommate became my bestfriend more like a brother and he got a girlfriend.we 3 became like best friends and she's the first female friend I have made in my life and I thought of them like my family .everything is going smooth but during summer vacation they had a big fight and they are on the verge of breakup . I went to internship and my roommate there who is also my classmate said something about her so I tried to make her understand it indirectly as she doesn't like it when people tell her what to do. But she got mad and slowly she stopped talking with me.so I talked with my senior about this situation he said that she became friends with u because your her boyfriend's roommate because they are on the verge of breaking up she also wants to cut you off.but i didn't believe him.so I went back to university after she didn't talk to me like the way she used to talk. I don't know what to do right now. how can I make things right with her?! I became depressed and i didn't talk to my roommate like I used to , he also stopped talking like he used to.its like I lost both because of my poor communication skills. Soo what should I do?!!
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1ltspkd
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Can't help but feel like the world is against me I recently posted a picture in a group for vietnam and said I'm visiting and want to make friends, I had people laughing and one person joked about I could be a friend for their gay friend. I felt so bad I deleted it. A week later a guy did the exact same thing and he got nothing but nice comments and women even sent him their numbers. I feel so cursed and low I want to hurt myself
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1lthxf3
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I feel hopeless and I’m not even an adult yet Went to the dentist the other day. I have like 20 cavities and am gonna need a crown, I’m barely in high school and already need this much dental work. I can tell my parents are upset with me, it’s hard to care though. My hair is so matted. I can’t even bring myself to get out of bed, I’m so fucking lazy it’s insane. Sometimes I’ll just sit in menstrual blood, it’s actually disgusting. Also pretty sure I have a UTI. Anyway thanks for reading I feel like an edge lord lolol
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1ltsivo
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I need some help with this one Hi all, 36 year old male here. Been dealing with my fair share of depressive episodes. Currently live alone. I spent last week staying with my parents (they live a few hours away) and really had a good time mentally and helping them (in their 70s). Im considering taking a job in their hometown and moving in with them. Im single, no debt, history of Major depressive disorder episodes and some SH behaviors years ago. Therapy made things worse for me and unearthed a lot of suppressed things. There is a full time job back home that i am interviewing for as well. Thoughts on this plan? - move in with parents - responsible for groceries and phone bill (rent free) - take job working in similar field that I am working in now with opportunity to learn more about specialized field (healthcare) - get back on track with training and nutrition _ manage my autoimmune disease (chrons) via diet - get back into church
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1ltmqm3
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Having my worst depression episode of my life so far over the last few days First i lose my job, then ive just lost the closest thing i had to a community, and the person closest to me made them hate me. People i thought I was friends with too. We are adults!! How is this real They were never honest with me, always holding shit back until it explodes and makes everything worse. I've spent years begging to just be talked to when they have a problem but its my fault they wouldnt tell me things too. Im too pathetic and fragile so they couldn't! Its all always my fault. They try to manage me like an animal instead of talking to me but they've never done anything wrong. They say they feel like they cant be honest bc of my depression and like they have to tip toe around me but I cant say how I feel the same about them. They'd just flip it around on me anyway, and im always so scared of something like this happening I just cave immediately. You say you're willing to be friends again after a break-but a year? That's not a break. You just want me gone. You admitted to my fucking face you don't care about me or the friendship. You just don't want your mood brought down if I "commit suicide or something." I meant everything I said to them when i apologized after our fight. Im sorry for dumping my depression on them for so long, ive been unfair and lashed out, and I regret it. I even accept this being more my fault than theirs, im painfully aware of how difficult i am. Ive driven people away before. But this wasn't just me. You made yourself a cornerstone of my life then ripped it all away without warning like it was nothing bc I "ruined your new relationship honeymoon period" Im hurt you weren't fully honest with me, im hurt you think you're some placeholder in my life, im hurt you think I haven't tried to get better, that i havent spent nights tossing and turning and crying over what a burden i am. Im hurt you proved all my biggest fears about myself true and made it clear you've wanted me gone for a while now. You weren't even going to tell me you wanted me gone. You were going to ghost me, after ive told you how deeply hurt ive been by that before. I had to beg you to have one last conversation with me. I never thought you'd be so fucking cruel. 5 years of friendship! Youre just trying to hurt me now and its not fair. You're walking away happy and unbothered while I cant eat or sleep. You're laughing behind my back at how much you hurt me and im sobbing myself sick over you cutting yourself and everyone else i talked to out of my life. And all of it from one fucking argument. I cant stop caring about people who always leave me behind like its nothing. And I cant blame them for not caring about me-but then why let me care about you. Why do this to me if I was never worth your trouble to begin with. Im so tired and I do not have the strength to do this again. I just don't. Its too much and too hard.
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1ltol4s
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theres only one way i wont be taking my life and thats if i can get back with my ex, i actually felt happy when i was with them, i actually felt anything other then sadness, but like also its her 2 best friends who made the rumor that made us break up and like i dont wanna take their best friends so like ill prolly actually kms when my dab pen runs out idk man
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1ltbcxa
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Being kind to people is a big mistake Don't be like me I used to be kind to everyone and try my best to help everyone but myself and now I get treated like shit 24/7 and get nothing in return , they do me so wrong and then they pretend to be the victim and am the Devil , i don't know what to do anymore or who to trust, some people are just corrupted they think that treating their best friend horribly is a good morale thing and when you talk to them about their actions they manipulate you to thinking that you are the problem, they are allowed to treat you like shit and lower your dignity and you are allowed to shut the fuck up and to let them take advantage of you because you don't wanna be alone in this life , no matter how many good things you do for them they will disrespect the shit out of you and leave you behind , I am just shocked of how can such people exist in this world they are genuinely cruel people who only love themselves and their money and have no heart and they are empty inside, being alone with no friends is a blessing sometimes and if you are kind, don't do anything good to them.
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1ltmkl3
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I don't know who to talk to So essentially everything is a mess and it's not at the same time. It's not in the sense that I used to be a homeless drunk and sleep anywhere now I have my own place sober. I should be happier- It's very isolating and lonely. A friend or few I have are hard to talk to and it's always 1sided and about them. I grew up in a cult tried talking to some of the former members with mixed result's. My relative is a sex offender but "the church" (cult) really seems to give him a pass. Idk seeing him around family feels weird. I can't sleep- I'm unsure what I want for the future I doesn't feel like I have one. Growing up the way I did in a mental box doesn't make it easier to make friends or connections. It makes your strange. My entire life "your weird but it's like good weird" I'm honest, overly hardworking, I try to do everything right and I still feel completely empty. I think Im strugging with identity and occasional thoughts 💭 🔫 I don't even have a interest in dating or marriage anymore. I don't feel connection to anyone at all. Is this normal?
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1lts3fr
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Life decisions are really taking a mental toll on me and I’m struggling to manage it I messaged her a while back, I’m doing a home renovation that I didn’t want to do to begin with a while back. After bad advice, poor guidance and spending more time and money that I could, the home is finally on the market, I really have just under 60 days to unload this home. Its been on the market for four full days, I’m getting way ahead of myself. I get things are slow and it’s crazy to think I’ll sell “tmrw”, but fact of the matter is I just want this home gone and out of my life. I’m content with taking a loss over anything else, I want my life back, I want to have a healthy mental state of mind, I miss having a normal not waking up already in a state of anxiety. I’ve only had a handful of nights where I slept normally in the last three months….
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1lts37h
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Working hard or hardly working I'm relatively young as I'm in my early 20s, but I cannot stand working. I tried the 40h work week and quit once I couldn't get my working hours adjusted because of how stressful it was. I tried the 32h work week and struggled because it's mentally taxing to work 5 days a week. Now I'm working 4 days a week with wednesdays off, 6h a day... And I'm still struggling. When people say “Gen Z is the laziest generation,” it is me they're thinking of. I haven't gone to work for over a week now and feel like a disappointment both to my boss and my parents. I just want to be happy but I'm beginning to think it's too much of an ask, especially when my meds seem to work less and less every few months.
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1ltktcu
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Constant suicidal thoughts I’m 21 years old and have nothing going for me currently. No friends, abusive family, no job, no car, a painful eating disorder that leaves me bed-bound most of the time. Absolutely nothing. My significant other is no longer in the picture either. I’m in a terrible home environment that I will be stuck in for a while. Every medication I’ve tried doesn’t help. My suicidal thoughts have increased recently in the past few weeks. I’ve always had them, but now I’m genuinely scared that I might resort to suicide at some point. Im not scared of dying; I’m scared about how painful my last moments will be. Life just feels like too much to deal with now.
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1lt9mat
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I forgot how happy feels like Nothing makes me happy.. I even forgot how it feels to be happy. I am going to gym, taking meds, going to therapist. Slowly I am losing hope that it will get any better
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1ltm7zf
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I don't know what to do anymore, advice? My depression has gotten so bad. My chances of getting into a good college have been ruined. I grew up an A+ student, but due to emotional trauma and abuse my grades started tanking in highschool to the point where I nearly didn't graduate on time. My GPA went from a 4.5 to a 2.5 and I have not recovered since. In community college I can barley pass my classes. Can't get work done because I get easily distracted. Just had to withdrawal from 2 classes and now my financial aid has been taken away until I can pass one class to bring my GPA up. I'm a mess of a person and I feel pathetic. My twin brother just graduated from his 2 year college and yet I'm doing general transfer studies but I'm still stuck below 20 credits and it's been 2 years now. I get jealous when I see other people in good colleges cause I take a bus and I have to go to the college to get to the bus stop. I mourn that if Covid and abuse would have not happened, I would've gotten into a good college like this. I feel like shit. I feel so shitty. Why can't I turn in assignments?
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1lto348
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I feel like I am incurable, please help if you can. I’m Dan. I’m 21 years old. I cried in my girlfriend’s arms last night. She’s the most incredible person and I love her so much. I had no reason to be sad last night, but I just was. That always seems to be the case with me. I think I have to come to terms with the fact that i’m just not a happy guy. I can have fun, I can have a lot of fun, but at the end of the day I’m never truly happy or calm or comfortable. It’s been a really long time since i’ve been truly comfortable and content with my life. I don’t like my family but I can’t be away from them. My brother barely talks to me and it just sucks cuz we used to be rly close. I think i’m lying, I totally did have a reason to be sad. I’ve pretty much fucked up every opportunity in my life. I passed highschool with D’s, I’ve been kicked out of 2 colleges, I’ve been fired from every job I’ve ever had, I’ve been to the psych ward 3 times and rehab once, I’ve had 6 therapists and 3 psychiatrists, I’ve been on so many meds that i can’t remember them, and honestly my life has nothing going on. it’s been that way for almost a year. I do actually think i’m not meant to be happy though. I hear people say that life just isn’t for everyone, people usually say that to someone before they go into treatment to make them feel less alone. I think it’s different for me. I think it’s impossible for me to be truly happy, because nothing makes me happy anymore. I don’t think i’ve been happy since 2019. It’s hard to even remember what it feels like to not be chronically anxious and depressed. I told my girlfriend all of this and collapsed in her arms last night. I couldn’t tell my family this because they would send me straight to the psych ward unfortunately. That’s always their go to option. So I don’t rly have many people I can be truly honest with I guess. Maybe that’s why I post on here so often. Better to put it out in the world then to hold it in til I kill myself. I don’t think I could do that to my gf or my family though. I’m just in a lot of pain all the time, like constant stress and headaches and pessimism and hatred. I’m full of hatred, and it scares me. If everyone knew some of the hatred i hold in my heart i’m convinced they would be disgusted. I know i’m incredibly unhealthy but I think that’s just the way I am. This is how i’ve always been. I feel like i’m constitutionally incapable of being honest with myself. I’ve been given the resources and the opportunities and as much support as I want from my parents. I just don’t want to get better I guess. Frankly i’ve been thinking about suicide more and more every day. No plans, just thoughts and scenarios. I have no prospects, no dreams, no motivation, no goals. I’m pretty miserable. Reach out if you see this, i’ll respond if I can.
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1ltlzy7
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Happy relationships trigger my depression (please support) I might sound like a incel saying this, but I think ppl having happy relationships ruins my life. Almost everyone in my school besides my friend group has a bf/ gf. Even the weird brain-rotted kids (I am in 10th grade btw). I’ve been rejected so many times because “no one wants to be with the “unfunny weird kid” Even all of my bullies have girlfriends. I’m not looking for a lustful relationship, just to experience true love. It leads to my depression because it reminds of how no one loves me. It makes me feel alone. All the girls in my school give me dirty looks anyways. Even seeing couples in YouTube videos makes me feel sad and alone. I need to talk to my therapist about it, but please anyone let me know if you experienced the same.
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1ltlwsc
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everything hurts all the time i just want to disappear. i don’t want to try anymore. i don’t want to get out of bed. i don’t want to keep going. i’m exhausted. and i know im not going to keep going much longer. everyday i wake up it gets more painful. i just want to disappear
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1ltnx2w
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I don't know how to stop my chronic sadness. I'm sad all the time and I hate my life. I hate everything around me I just don't know what to do anymore, I feel like I'm nothing, and nobody else sees my worth. Maybe I'm dead inside.
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1ltlleu
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It's gotten pretty bad I'm 25 live alone , been fighting this for the past 15 years. Laid off my job bout 6 weeks ago. Usually I fall into a deeper than normal depression once a year so I guess this is it. I have a lot of savings so not a huge fire under my ass to get a new job. I can't seem to get up before noon. I've been spending 30 to 50 dollars a day on fast food. Every day. I can't stop. Believe me. Porn multiple times a day. I don't know how it got this bad, I thought I had gotten past falling this far. Normally I'm a pretty normal guy. Goes to work, gym 5 days a week, pretty social. I always am fighting this depression under the surface but usually I have a pretty good control on it. I've just completely lost that control and can't seem to fight it at all. I wake up and I just don't want to be here and get no enjoyment from anything. At this point not even enjoying watching TV which is usually a great distraction. I've probably gained 20 pounds in 5 weeks. I'm losing myself and can't seem to lift a finger to stop it. I need to be constantly distracting myself because if I stop to think about my current situation for even a moment I feel so hopeless. I just don't know what to do or where to turn.
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1ltr65b
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I need an ear or eyes? I've been dealing with depression for a really long time. When I injured my back 2 years ago I let go of alcohol when my grandfather died during those 2 years swapped to weed. Helps but there is still mental leakage here and there. Guys. I like my job. But. I'm starting to call off now. I've been off 3 days so far Wednesday Thursday Friday being holiday and today and I haven't called off for almost 6 months being there. Idk. Maybe I'm just weak. We had everything taken away from us during those 2 years. Basement for 900 a month. No sunlight. But everything did a massive turn around. I am happy things are going well. I guess I don't know why I'm depressed why I'm developing a call off pattern. I don't wanna lose my job. I'm going to work first thing tomorrow. But just don't know why my mind is feeling this way. I've had it rough for a long while but things are steadily turning around in the best way possible. But yet here I am. Idk, thanks for listening.
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1lt1nlg
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I just did it I just did it, I took 40 different pills. I can’t believe I could do it. I could have taken more but I can’t swallow a pile of medicine, I can only take it one by one. It was a pain, I almost throw it all up.
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1ltnlpd
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Trying to see the point in staying I haven't lived the best life, some due to my own wrongdoings, some things that I couldn't control. Overall I find myself fantasizing about not being here anymore. I'm the type of person nobody really truly understands, I don't expect people to carry my burdens or share my sadness with me. I have friends and a partner but the last thing I want to do is contaminate them. I feel happy at times knowing that some people were dealt a good deck of cards, that just wasn't the case for me. I can't exactly go ahead and commit right now, but it'd sure be nice to finally have peace
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1lti1zs
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How do I help my partner with depression? My partner does not want to get a diagnosis for depression so they can get medication because they have given up on trying. I want to support them in any way I can but im not sure what to do if not drag them to a GP and ask the question for them. Is that a reasonable thing to do? To be clear they are not against treatments to my knowledge and if there was a way to relieve their self hatred they would want to. They have tried different therapists and support groups and charities, but either was unable to continue due to University or the person on the other end just told them to get a stress ball or something small, when their problems run far far deeper (which has been quite frustrating to hear so many times). I also never know what to say when they do any sort of self deprecating humour (that im sure runs deeper) because if I comfort them I end up making them sadder by having brought it to their attention; the only thing I want is for them to be ok, but I dont know how to go about helping them and how much of it I should be doing and how much I should be leaving to a professional. Are late night talks ok? It always seems to get worse at night but sleeping pills won't work because of their diabetes. I would like to keep helping them as much as I can but to what extent do I prioritise my own health for it, as it does happen every night. I couldn't possibly just say "gotta go sleep now sorry about all this" as they are crying their heart out, which happens every night and i always want to be there to comfort them. Parden the rambling and horrible grammar it is 2:40am and I am dyslexic.
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1ltqo66
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Venting I'm 26, hearing impaired, and have epilepsy. Since elementary i have always been bullied and made fun of because of my hearing loss. Growing up I hardly had any friends and always felt alone. There were times I would like to hang with my older brother but even he doesn't want to deal with me. I couldn't even walk with him down the street without him shoo-ing me away. Although I was very sad I tried my best not to let the bullying and such get to me but it was very hard. When I got into middle school things have gotten worse. The bullying, being beaten for not hearing my mom when she yells my name, being made fun of by family members especially my dad because I no longer socialize. Being told I can't speak, act, or dress a certain way because I'm not white, my mom comparing me to my cousin because he has better grades. Eventually I had enough and started thinking about suicide and had my first failed attempt in 8th grade. Since then I have always felt alone, depressed and worthless. I wish I was never born.
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1ltn78g
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Afraid of sleep I dream of past trauma and memories, they feel like a whole different life than what I’m living. I’m so alone man. Everything leading up to my solitude feels like such a lie and I will never get the closure I need to put my brain at rest.
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1ltky3k
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loss of appetite I’ve had zero appetite to eat food and its has only gotten worse these past 3 weeks, i like food, i am not concerned about my image but anytime i have it in front of me it feels like a chore to choke now and sometimes i get nauseous which makes it hard to eat. It also feels like a chore to go make something for myself, so i often go days without eating or eating little to nothing then it often gets to the point where my stomach is rumbling or my body is feels weak which sometimes leads me to fainting or throwing up from the nausea and this does not help make it any easier to make food for myself at that point. I’m afraid ive forgotten how to enjoy it.
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1ltj3r2
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alone hello, im dealing with terrible loneliness around this time, and seem to be losing myself in the process. i have no irl friends that will do whatever activities i wanna do, and seems like i get ghosted every time i try something with someone new. i cant relate to a lot of people where im at, everyone lives a completely different lifestyle than i do and i cant seem to find a friend i relate to or even just in general. its been a rough few months and im just stuck either going to work and coming home to bedrot or just bedrotting my entire free day away. i have other underlying mental problems that make motivation a huge struggle for me and it just hasnt paired well with my situation as of now. this is probably the toughest time ive had in life ever and i dont have a single friend to support me. i hate that its come to me posting online for just some semblance of a conversation these days but like what else can i do, this sucks i hate it all :(
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1ltfhxu
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oh my god i can’t handle life i know my life is pretty good. but the constant anxiety about what people think about me, the paranoia that friends, coworkers, anyone could be plotting against me, the difficulty juggling work and chores and self care, the longing to always run away from my problems, the impossibility of any form of intimacy because i have become so avoidant due to trauma, and the constant thought of suicide looming over my head as a way out is getting too much to handle. i’m so anxious and depressed i feel like i could vomit. i’m sorry i just needed to vent.
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1ltcnm1
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i told my mother that i've turned in to a person who regularly gets wasted, does drugs, and cuts oneself. her response kinda broke me i've tried almost everything. i've gone through at least 10 antidepressants, numerous anti-psychotics, anti-anxiety medications, mood stabilezers and what not - they didn't help at all. nothing works... i went to therapy but gave up because i didn't feel a connection to any doctor that i went to. they were a handful. then wasted 1500€ whilst being broke on TMS. it helped for two months. after that i felt awful. i don't have anyone close to me so i messaged my mother who lives abroad. she's the only person i could try to open up with. throughout my life i learned that i can't express my emotions because i should feel ashamed if i do. the words that broke me were "try to get religious". she knows i'm completely opposed to religion (no offence if you're religious, i respect you). it broke me because she knows that i won't turn to religion, but she literally doesn't have any other advice.
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1ltq6i3
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Don’t know what to do I don’t know what to do my ex wife and I divorced and she moved to the us and left me with our daughter but she calls me every day to talk to our daughter and I see her happy with her boyfriend (Who she cheated on me with) and I feel hollow I can’t even bring myself to enjoy my time with my daughter because she is starting to display mannerisms similar to my ex wife and I just keep spiraling deeper into this hole some days I can’t even bring myself to get out of bed
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1ltmoka
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If I don't pass this semester I'll kms I'm in the last year of my architecture studies. I have this, and the next semester left. On top of the depression I've had since high school, I've gone through a lot of things this year. I struggle with depression, anxiety, my autism, burnout, gender and sexuality issues. I also had to break up with the only person I've truly loved romantically because of an incompatibility that was making me miserable. We didn't stop loving eachother and we ended up things in good terms but now they won't talk to me. I'm blocked everywhere. With all of this, studying it's been impossible but I still pushed myself and got some results. I thought I could push myself to the end of the semester and finally get something good out of my life. But there's only a week left and I feel like I wont make it. My professor gave up on me and I don't even know if she'll let me pass even if I do all of the work needed. I formally asked if I could submit my work later but I still have no response and even if they give me more time I have no energy or hope. I can't even talk in public without shaking and mixing my words. How am I gonna make it to the final presentation? How would someone like that become a professional? I'm in therapy, I take meds and all but even my psychiatrist told me I'm going through a lot and pills help but they won't supress the stages of grief I'm going (and need to go) through. I really see no future. I work at a bar but even if I'm good at that I can't make a living out of it. I don't wanna be surounded by loudness, people and smoke forever. (I've been taking sick days). My only goal in life is to get my mayor but I feel like this year it's my last chance. My worst fear is having to go once again through the mental instability, sickness and burnout this semester has gave me. I honestly prefer to die. If I don't make it there's no other goal for me to pursue. I've been 8 years in uni because I'm dumb and struggle so much emotionally. I can't take it anymore. I want my fucking degree that's all. I've been pushing myself, getting help with cooking and cleaning up (I live alone) so I can study but my body just doesn't work anymore. I've been nauseous for more than a week because of stress, vomiting for days (now controlled with pills), but still nauseous. I can only sleep, stay in bed and scroll. Maybe eat sometime. I just can't focus or even get myself to sit in front of the computer. If I don't make it I'll kms. I've been told "It's not the end of the world" many times. But I was already living my life forcefully because of others before even knowing what I wanted to study. I see no point in anything. This was the one goal I had, so it is the end of the world for me. There's no plan forward. It's either something magical occurs that can make feel good enough to finish my assignments and I make it. Or I don't and finally say goodbye to this world. Having people that love me doesn't even make me rethink things anymore.
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1ltq34w
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How do I get out the trap For the past week I've been stuck in this depression trap and I feel disgusting in myself. I can barely get out of bed and just lay there crying. I keep wanting to get outside ,go to the gym ect but I physically cant pull myself together. I hate it I hate it, I only don't even see myself when I look in the mirror anymore. I know the cause tho( both my parents died last year) I wanna get out this horrble trap
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1ltkdu7
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Idk I am perceiving this message as a desperate attempt at help, I feel alone and misunderstood, I am afraid and I do not know people who feel similar to me, I've been trying to find myself for a while now, and it's getting harder and harder for me to even be myself. I am looking for something that will make me feel fulfilled again and make it easier to love people. I'm not looking for anyone's pity for me or any way to get attention, I'm just looking for people who identify with me. tsm for reading this and giving me just a minute of apprehension.
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1ltmkvo
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I quit With my mind always beating me with people always hurting me I can’t fu€king do it anymore. all I hope for after I commit is that my animals will be loved. I don’t know when I’m going to do it but I know it will be sometime this month
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