1. Part I

"So....Reck'n they can swim?"

Columbus blinked a few times, having been absorbed in the world rushing past out the window, the burned out skeletons of cars, the red stained clumps dotting the shoulder, the items discarded along the way by panicking mobs.

"Pardon?"

"...The bastards.....Ya think they can swim?" Tallahassee asked again, casting a glance over at his partner.-2

"Well.." Columbus drew out on the last letter, taking the moment to change his course of thoughts. As one who couldn't swim himself, it posed a very interesting question. He knew swimming took a certain level of coordination, a calmed non-panicked state of mind (Surprise, surprise as to why the ability evaded him.), and the sense to keep your mouth above the water....And his hydrohpbia didn't help...

"First off.....I don't think they have the coordination ..Second, they don't really have minds...so I don't think they could think enough to remember to swim in water...Third, they wouldn't be thinking anymore, so they wouldn't try and keep their faces above water....And they make noises, so they do have to breathe...Which would drown them or something, I think...So my theoretical answer would be a no, zombies can't swim." Was Columbus's diagnosis of the question, punctuated here and there by a nod. He was all too familiar with making scientific guesses about the beasts. After all, he already had his "herd instinct" theory out there, didn't he?

Tallahassee's reply was a nod.

"Thought so."

"Hm..?" Columbus had already started entering his own world again.

"That the buggers couldn't swim...Wonder how to work tha' lil' tidbit into a kill."

Columbus almost smiled. Tell any other person a zombie theory, and he'll just blink and say "Okay then."....Tell Tallahassee a zombie theory, and he'll try to turn it into some inventive kill.

"I'm sure you'll find a way....You always do..." Columbus said in return, looking back over at him.

"Damn right I do." He snorted.

Columbus just smiled and shook his head with a chuckle of his own.

* * *

"Remind me why we're here again?"

"....I wanna go fishin'."

"So why are we here?"

"Kid, donchya know nothing? This is th' land o' lakes. There's over ten thousand of them in a place smaller than Texas, or some shit like that."

"You couldn't go fishing at another place?"

"Nope. I wanted to come here..."

"Welcome to Minnesota..." Columbus said aloud to no one in particular, watching out the window. They passed.. Trees... Fields of crops that continued their cycles even after their farmer was gone, pastures of dead and bloated equine and bovine. Yeah...There was NOTHING even remotely exciting about this place. No wonder why the Midwest was never on the news for anything big..

It was a day later when they finally reached a lake of Tallahassee's approval. Not too near any towns, nice dock, a lake house or two in the area to raid...

Columbus held still, watching his bobber in the water before sighing and reeling it in. He was standing on the shore, with Tallahassee on the dock. He didn't trust being over the water one bit....Who knew what was in it? How deep it was? How clean it was?... And he couldn't swim. So water. Yeah, water was a big no-no.

"I think the fish are sleeping. Or dead. Or screwing with us." Columbus said, setting his pole down in the grass.

"Nonsense. We just haven't found the right thing to tickle their fancies."

"We've tried worms, grubs-" Columbus was cut off in mid sentence as he watched Tallahassee move back a little ways towards where the corpse of the zombie man, dressed in swim trunks, was laying by the rear bumper to the hummer, the only zombie they'd seen. Betchya couldn't guess what he died from.

"You're not gonna-!"

But it was too late. Tallahassee was...oh god, he was holding part of the thing's face, and with that big knife he was-

Okay. No way in hell was he ever letting Tallahassee pick something out of his teeth with that knife again. Ever. EVER.

Once Tallahassee had sawed off the rotting bits he wanted from the dead undead's face, he slipped one onto his hook, baiting it while he walked back onto a dock with so little a care for the death liquid teeming around him, and tossed the hook into the water.

"There's no chance that's gonna work." Columbus said, still a little green in the face as he watched the thin ripples spread out from where Tallahassee had tossed his cannibalistically baited hook in.

He was shocked to his toes, when aproximately thirty second later, a perch was pulled pulled up and out of the water.

"Holy crap...that works?! What, is that a zombie fish or something?"

"It obviously works. And I think it has something to do with the fact that the "worms" you dug up...Were actually plant roots, genius...."

"Oh."

"Who taught you how to fish?"

"Well...um....This would be my first time, actually."

"Why am I not surprised, spit-fuck?....Why am I not surprised...."

* * *

"Today's the day....I can feel it kid, I'm actually gonna catch something worth catching..."

"Like a cold?"

"....A muskie, Columbus..a muskie...."

"What's that?"

"You really are a hopeless case, aren't you?"

Tallahassee sighed, glancing over.

"Hey! .....I'm not _that_ hopeless...."

"Uh-huh.. Either way, I'm gonna go catch my big ass fish now.." With that, Tallahassee began gathering up the gear from where he'd stashed it in the back of the hummer, whistling to himself as he walked down the dock, cut off some fresh bits from a zombie he'd had to drag in yesterday for bait, and cast the line. Columbus sighed, shook his head, and went back to what he'd been doing while Tallahassee fished....Namely, nothing.

Just sitting there with an old copy of _The Fellowship of the Ring, _not really reading it, but staring at the words and thinking....About what?

Well....What do you think about in a zombie apocalypse?

Zombies. Whether the Kennedy Space Center was still standing. Whether or not World of Warcraft would work if he signed on.. if his parents had died quick or slow, undead or a meal..

Thoughts like the latter were the ones that gave him the most trouble. Muttering to himself, he slipped out of the car, loading his double barrel paranoidly, tucking the rest of his ammo into his pockets. Best do something that kept him in shape. Cardio couldn't jog itself into your being.

"Tallahassee, I think I'm going to go for a walk....Or a run....something to keep up cardio, anyways." He didn't step out onto the dock. He stood back on the shore, merely calling out to the man. Water lapped the shore, tiny sea shells mixed into the gravel...Thought technically...They weren't sea shells. They were lake shells, Columbus decided to himself.

"Wha'ever." Was the reply he got. Best not to disturb the fisherman.

"Okay....Be back in half an hour, max." It was always a good idea to give an ETA. That way, if something did go wrong, the theoretical rescue party could come drag you from whatever closet you'd holed up in to avoid the zombies. As long as the theoretical rescue party wasn't preoccupied with fish....

"A'ight."

Columbus turned around to face the road from the landing, and limbered up. Up, down, up down, left, right, left, right, went the shotgun, swinging around as muscles stretched and rippled beneath their thin layer of skin. With that accomplished, he set off at an easy jog past the small stand of trees near the landing, feet pounding the road faster as he sped up, heart and lungs syncronizing into their roles.

Columbus made sure to keep an eye on his wrist watch...He had allotted himself half an hour at the most, but it was nice to get back early, just to keep his schedule of....doing absolutely nothing....sound. Ten minutes into the run, he stopped and caught his breath, panting. Columbus made another time check, and leaned against a car stashed on the side of the road, actually looking like a normal car instead of the blackened husks they saw sometimes...

And nearly jumped out of his skin as the piercing wail of the car's alarm split through the air, crying out that someone was trying to steal the heap of metal.

Except the alarm served two purposes: Deterring thieves, and a dinner bell.

Acting just on that instinct he acquired in the past months, Columbus lifted his shotgun from where it had been leaning against the car's door, and proceded to shoot the hood. One shot, two shots, it was still keening away. Reload, then a third, and finally fourth shot shut it up. With a depressed sounding squawk, the noise died off, though the lights continued to flash.

He barely dared breathe as he listened for the reprocussions of the action. Maybe...If he was exceptionally lucky today...No zombies would come running.

But Columbus had never been that lucky. Not once in his short life.

In the field to the road's right, he saw a multitude of cornstalks (Well wouldn't you know....they actually grew higher without all the chemicals being dumped on them..) swaying, and the sounds he didn't want to hear. Wet wails, grunting groans, shivering screams, and two-toned shrieks cut through the silence, as the horde finally found something that smelled alive. Something that smelled alive, and yummy, and sweaty, that would be full of good things. Good things to eat.. Good squishy _warm_ things to eat....

Columbus didn't even want to bother facing this particular group of the undead. He didn't know how many there were, and when you were out in the open, where they could form a ring around you and start ripping into you, that was not a good thing to stick around and try.. Well. Maybe if you were Tallahassee it was, but Columbus actually had rules about this sort of thing.

Good thing he'd had his warm up.

"...Shit!" Columbus cried out, in a sprint faster than a hare could bolt. This time, he made the run in about six minutes, but with the undead fuckers close behind. He rounded the corner to the landing, yelling to his partner.

"Tallahassee! Tallahassee!" Okay, maybe not the most original thing to say, but it worked. But to his surprise, Columbus wasn't met with the redneck looking back his way immediately..He was..What was he doing, standing up, and whooping and hollering over Columbus's yells, with the rod tip bent almost to the water, and....Oh.....Yes. Tallahassee finally had his fish. The wet scales gleamed as they slid from the water and the big thing flopped on the wooden dock.

"TALLAHASSEE!" Columbus yelled, the top of his lungs well surpassed with that holler. Immediately, hand on his hat, the older man's head whipped around, pale blue eyes fixed first on Columbus, then the trailing zombies that stumbled into view.

"Well...Don't you have just fucking perfect timing!" Was the angry shout that greeted him. With an angered snort, Tallahassee swung the fish back onto the dry ground where sand clung to the slime of its scaly skin, the thing just going through past-mortem flops then, air-drowned. Columbus didn't answer, too busy with his lungs burning to try and get the words out. His feet hesitated a moment, a few seconds as they made the transition from safe, dry, zombie-infested land, to wood suspended over the deadly unknown water. His speed slowed drastically as his sneakers touched and continued on the wood, slowing.

Columbus took the moment to look behind him, his s tomach dropping.

Apparently, there were more zombies in the area than they'd guessed.

He swallowed nervously, Adam's apple bobbing with aprehensin as he reloaded, and just fired blindly into the mass.

"A'ight kid....Time to test that theory." Columbus was confused, and opened his mouth to ask what exactly Tallahassee was talking about, when it was answered for him.

There was a deep whoosh of a splash, water drops flying through the air. A very small percentage, two or three drops maybe, landed on Columbus's still exposed tongue, wetting a dry mouth slightly.

This sent Columbus into a fit of coughing, spitting, and hacking. Fish peed in that water...Fish and turtles and whatever the heck else there was in this hellhole, peed and pooped and died in that water, and it was in his mouth, and Columbus briefly wished for a moment that he could put Purel in there to clean it up...But that wouldn't taste good at all. Maybe he'd do it anyways. Then, he could hear the answering spew of air as Tallahassee's head bobbed back up, though missing his hat.

"Columbus?! What the hell are you doing?! Get your ass in here!" Came the strict sounding order. But Columbus, whiter than a sheet at the thought, merely shook his head at his comrade, lips pursed tightly.

Hands shaking, the shotgun in his hands was reloaded, then bore forward, to fire into the mass of the undead still rushing forward. The first two stumbled and tripped up the others at the front of the dock, both barrels smoking slightly as the chamber was frantically exposed again, two more rounds shoved in. He raised the gun, didn't even bother to sight, and shot again. Columbus could feel the way the dock shook under him as tens of feet pounded across it.

"Columbus, NOW."

Eyes wide, shaking like a leaf, breathing hard, and heart thundering somewhere in his throat, Columbus scrambled for the bag of ammo in his pocket, only to cry out and fumble with it, dropping the precious thing into the water where it sunk quickly to the bottom. He had seconds now, as the horde went across the dock, and he shied and clenched his eyes shut, raising his gun to bash it at them as a distant attempt to fend them off, but to no avail.

The shotgun clattered to the wood, and Columbus screamed.

* * *

**Hmm....What could've happened?........Maybe I'll continue if people actually want to see more....If not, maybe we'll just let this be as it is....**

	2. Part II

**Sorry to have kept you all waiting... The Muses were eluding me for this one, but here it is, done, and fluffy as I made it. Thank you for all of the reviews, and I hope that even though this is now finished, I'll continue to get awesome feedback.**

**As for the location of the girls as one review asked, they are just... simply not here. Ran off, got killed, never showed up, take your pick.**

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* * *

_

_"Columbus, NOW."_

_Eyes wide, shaking like a leaf, breathing hard, and heart thundering somewhere in his throat, Columbus scrambled for the bag of ammo in his pocket, only to cry out and fumble with it, dropping the precious thing into the water where it sunk quickly to the bottom. He had seconds now, as the horde went across the dock, and he shied and clenched his eyes shut, raising his gun to bash it at them as a distant attempt to fend them off, but to no avail._

_The shotgun clattered to the wood, and Columbus screamed._

The kid wasn't coming... Shit, what was wrong with him? There were seconds left, Tallahassee realized this, and no fucking way was he letting those buggers get their bloodied hands on him. Silently, he just hooked himself onto the edge of the dock, pulled himself out of the water for a second, and grabbed Columbus around the belt-loops in his pants, hauling him back. His spitfuck screamed, fingers spasming and dropping his gun onto the dock where it clattered on the wood. Tallahassee just pulled back, bringing Columbus into the water with him. The kid floundered, head going under, and those curls reemerged, followed by Columbus's face, spitting and spluttering. It was almost comical, if it weren't for the splashes behind them that signalled zombies coming in after them.

No time to think it over, or warn the kid. Tallahassee just grabbed him by the back of the sweatshirt in one hand and kicked out with his legs, pulling at the water with his free hand until they were at what Tallahassee deemed was a safe distance. Columbus was still spluttering, hands moving in disorganzied, choppy, panicky movements. That's when it seemed to finally occur to him, like a lake bubble that had finally shimmed its way to the surface. Why Columbus hadn't ventured out on the dock even once, why he hadn't supported this whole fishing thing.

The kid was fucking afraid of water... And he couldn't swim.

Oh, this day really couldn't get much better. Really. It just couldn't.

* * *

Before Columbus could quite grasp what was happening, he was in the water. He felt one shoe, sock and all, twist off as he thrashed, body twisting and limbs straining before he was hauled to the surface again, and felt the movement of the water around him, and the dock moved further away... And oh hell...

They were going out further into the lake... Further meant deeper... And he did NOT want that. He kicked out twice, trying to let Tallahassee know he'd rather take on the zombies. Either Tallahassee couldn't interpret the kicks, or didn't care. Columbus wasn't risking opening his mouth at this point, afraid water might splash in. He still floundered along uselessly as Tallahassee pulled them, until they were out far enough and stopped moving. He didn't even know how it was possible for the older man to stay in one place and keep moving. He was failing. Spectacularly.

He dipped under the water's surface once more, and couldn't help the small cry of surprise that left his mouth. There was something squishy, and sticky, and just wrong feeling around his foot. It scared the everliving crap out of him, and Columbus kicked away from the lake weed his foot had brushed, getting his face above the water and coughing and spluttering, only to be yelled at by Tallahassee. It took him a moment to understand what he was saying, waterlogged as much as his ears were, but finally he figured it out. Tallahassee was trying to tell him how to swim.

"Arms out... Smooth, relaxed motions, back and forth, back and forth..." He coached, demonstrating with more muscled arms in the liquid. Columbus tried, and failed again, bobbing under the water before he came back up.

"Use your legs too, back and forth, nice and easy, I SAID NOT PANICKED." The last part was shouted at him, which admittedly, didn't help Columbus's fear. He squeaked, limbs moving more frantically, fingers splayed. He kept his head above the water for a few extra seconds, before he slipped under again, and bubbled once more under the water as that slimy firmness brushed his foot. Heart hammering all too keenly in his chest, Columbus made his way to the filtering lights of the surface. He was aware of just how much water had been in his mouth, and up his nose, and in his ears, and was probably squeezing in around his eyeballs right now to contaminate his brain. One more in the oxygen, he coughed and gulped.

"CUP YOUR HANDS, DUMB NUTS!" Tallahassee hollered. Columbus wasn't so sure he wanted to obey... Splayed fingers meant you covered a greater distance over all, and frogs always splayed their fingers... So he didn't cup them. Just kept on wiggling in the water.

"Oh, for fuck's sake..." Columbus felt himself starting to go under again, just as he watched Tallahassee's head disappear under the water. A second later, he screamed, mouth above the bubbles he'd kicked up, when he felt a strong pair of hands grab him. The zombies had swum out after them, and now he was going to be fucking eaten and drowned at the same time...

But it wasn't a zombie. It was Tallahassee maneuvering him around in the water, until he felt himself faced with the a strong back, wet t-shirt clinging tightly to the owner's skin.

"Hold on, Columbus. It fucking works better when you actually hold on." The younger man got what was being said, and floundered awkwardly until he had hands wrapped around Tallahassee's neck, and water was brushing past them again, and Columbus just went koala for all he was worth, clinging tightly.

He felt the change in the muscles beneath him when Tallahassee touched land again. Felt the change when he gently plucked him off of his back, and carried him the rest of the way to shore, shaking, teeth chattering, and this close to crying. Columbus stopped himself from that all too embarrassing act, however. There was only so much wimpiness a man could have in one day. Columbus just clung like an almost drowned puppy, waterlogged, and hiccuping. He didn't really want to know what happened next, he really didn't. So he calmed what frayed nerves still remained, and comforted by that warm chest he was curled against, fell asleep.

Waking up came too soon. Columbus found himself back in the Hummer, unsure of how they had even got back. The zombies must've ran off, or Tallahassee must've killed them all with a nail file or something. There were a few things he did notice besides that. He was wrapped in a warm blanket and propped against the door, and he was in dry clothes, even underwear. Looking around more closely, his double barrel was on the floor next to him, and his wet sneakers-both of them, even if one was a bit muddy- were next to that. Tallahassee knew his good footwear obsession. He must've gone back for it.

Speaking of the Devil... Tallahassee swung himself back into the front seat. Columbus just blinked in an owl like fashion and looked up at him.

"Th-thanks.... Where were you?" He asked unsteadily, wondering of the answer.

"... Went looking for my fish... Those fuckers ripped it to pieces." Tallahassee grunted. Columbus watched him buckle into the front seat, and took note. When had Tallahassee ever willingly followed his rules before? But looking at those light blue eyes, Columbus couldn't help but feel that something had shifted. They were beyond just two guys who had hooked up to survive. They were friends, they watched each other's backs, and maybe... Columbus thought he saw a hint of something else in those eyes before Tallahassee looked away and put the car into gear.

"Sorry about your fish... And the zombies... And not swimming well... And clinging... And-"

Columbus was cut off, and he was afraid for a moment, thinking he was about to be ripped a new one at the very least. But that wasn't what was said next... Not exactly.

"Kid, it might just be easier to say what you aren't sorry about. Which is pointless anyways. You're so light, barely any effort bringing you back... And trust me, that isn't happening again."

Columbus should've known. After that wonderful little nerd display of freaking out in water, Tallahassee didn't want him around anymore.

"Why not?" His voice was quiet, and Columbus knew the answer already, but some small part of him couldn't help the question.

"Because you're sure as hell getting swimming lessons."

Columbus thought about this, surprised, but in a good way as he read the emotions coming off of the other. Tallahassee close, knowing he was there to catch him if he fell, there to teach him the stuff in life he didn't know already, there to help him finally find his way in a zombie-infested world.

And that didn't seem so bad. Not at all.

End file.

Swimming Lessons by Cooper Sterling


The Deadly Visitor

**Title: **The Deadly Visitor

**Author: **YamixYuugiLover

**Fandom: **Zombieland

**Pairing: **Tallahassee x Columbus

**Summary: **Columbus, Tallahassee, and the girls have a nightly visitor one night; one that will bring make them fight the horrors and terrors throughout the night. Will they survive this new threat? Or will they all die from something even more horrible than a zombie attack?

**Rating:** T; PG-13. Might bump it up to M, who knows.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Zombieland, Friday the 13th, Silent Hill, or any of the characters that I play with as shown.

**Warnings:** Swearing, horror, blood, gore, even more horror, character death, and Talumbus fluff at the beginning and end! :D

OoOoOoOoOoOo

On a cold October night in St. Francisville, Louisiana, Columbus, Tallahassee, and the girls were staying in what was the called one of the most haunted places in the United States: The Myrtles Plantation house. Out of the four survivors, only Columbus was scared to death of the old dusty mansion. After they had cleared the place of all the stranded zombies inside, they brought the supplies they needed for the night and got themselves comfortable.

The gang was now sitting in front of a huge plasma television that was on a dusty old table in a large decorative living room, the plush chairs and couches were dusted off earlier by Wichita and Little Rock. Tallahassee found a set of cards and suggested to play Poker, but after much argument between him and Wichita ( who thought Little Rock was too young to be playing games like Poker), they settled on the game of Twenty-One. Ohio backed out early saying that he would just watch, so the other three decided that whoever won three rounds in a row would get to choose which movie they would watch that night.

For the umpteenth time that night, Columbus sighed as he sat back on the couch; why didn't the others believe him when he said that this place was full of evil spirits? Ohio was interrupted from his thoughts as Little Rock shot up and gave a cry of happiness as she won another round, the youngest survivor grinned as the other two groaned and threw down their cards on the floor.

"Alright, alright you won. Which movie do you want to watch, Little Rock?" Wichita huffed out, a bit annoyed yet proud that her little sister won a game she was a master at years ago. Little Rock happily skipped over to where a pile of movies were at next to the television and grabbed the one she was dying to watch ever since she saw it when they cleared out the house earlier that day: Friday the Thirteenth.

Tallahassee got up from his spot on the floor to stretch a bit, satisfied when he heard a 'pop' from his back. "Ready to watch a horror movie, Spit-fuck?" Tallahassee grinned at the other male in the room, and plopped down right next to Columbus on the couch.

"H-horror? What kind of horror movie?" Ohio replied, his eyes looking over to where the girls were trying to get the DVD player to work and unconsciously moved closer to Tallahassee as his mind started thinking up of all the countless horror movies that he swore to never watch in this lifetime. One movie came to mind and before he could think about it, Ohio blurted out, "It isn't Silent Hill is it? Cause I still have nightmares from watching that a few years back."

The other three occupants of the house gave him different reactions to his comment; Wichita rolled her eyes at him and continued to work on the DVD player while muttering under her breath about nerds and their phobias, Little Rock looked at him and asked, "Silent Hill? Never saw that movie." Then turned back to help her sister out, and Tallahassee snorted and put an arm around Ohio's shoulders, pulling Columbus close to the him and replied, "Don't worry 'bout it, Columbus. None of it is real, I assure you."

"S-so it isn't Silent hill?" Columbus asked with a bit of hope in his voice, giving a sigh of relief when Little Rock shook her head no at his question, but felt uncomfortable when she gave him a wicked looking smile while holding up the DVD case of the movie she choose.

"It's something better Columbus! It's Friday the 13th! You know, the famous slash killer? Jason Voorhees!" The younger girl crowed out with excitement, watching with amusement as Columbus' eyes widened at her statement.

"I've never seen it before, but I've heard it's really gory and scary! C-can't we watch something else?" Ohio stuttered out, ignoring the looks the girls were giving him, and instead looked over at Tallahassee, hoping his southern lover would make the girls change their mind about the movie. To Ohio's disappointment, Florida just shrugged his shoulders and told him to either "Nut up or shut up." or to go upstairs and get some rest for the night.

Feeling like he was being pushed into a corner, Columbus huffed as the girls both took a seat on the loveseat after they finally finished getting the DVD player working. Opting to at least be in the safest place in the world, Ohio crawled into Tallahassee's lap and wrapped himself around the older man like a Velcro monkey, burying his face into Florida's jacket covered shoulder. Smiling a bit when he felt the other respond by wrapping one arm around him while the other was carding fingers through his curls, the ex-college student leaned against Tallahassee while trying his best to watch the movie with the others, hiding his face every now and then in Tally's neck when Jason was about to kill off another person.

"Ugggh. Little Rock. Couldn't you have chosen a movie that had less sex in it?" Wichita exclaimed, covering her sister's eyes when it got to a particularly naughty scene. "Oh come on, Wichita! I'm not that young! Plus, I know what people do when they have sex! They-" Wichita cut her off with a light punch to the shoulder and removed her hand, smirking a bit when Little Rock pouted when she saw that Jason had already killed off another person, and was on the prowl for his next victim.

As Tallahassee kept his attention on the movie while absently rubbing circles on Ohio's back, the ex-college student was starting to doze off, going limp in Florida's arms as he started drifting off to sleep. And hour or so later, Columbus blinked his sleepy eyes open as Tallahassee lifted both of them up from the couch with a low grunt and started heading towards the dim lighted hallway, where the redneck walked all the way down towards the set of double cheery-wood doors. "Better be lucky the girls wanted to have first watch tonight, Ohio." Florida said as he was thinking if he should let Collie down or not to open the door.

"Puttin' on some weight, are ya Spit-fuck?" Tallahassee murmured as he decided to kick the door to the master room they claimed a while ago for themselves, and gently placed his Collie on the huge bed, then proceeded to take off his black jacket , but got nothing else off as Columbus crawled over to him and pulled him down for a long heated kiss. Florida growled low in his throat as he pushed Ohio down into the soft bedding, has hand roaming up and down the thin frame Columbus had.

After a few minutes of sharing hot passionate kisses, Columbus wrapped himself around Tallahassee again, about to demand that he just hurry up and skip foreplay when they heard a gunshot ring though the house, followed by an ear-shattering scream that sounded like it was coming from Little Rock. Bolting up from above Columbus, Tallahassee grabbed the gun he always kept strapped to his thigh out, checking it to make sure it was loaded and ready to go.

"Ohio, stay here and wait for me to come back, ya got it?" Tallahassee said, giving the younger man a quick kiss on the forehead before going out and shutting the door behind him, not even letting Columbus have a word on whether or not he wanted to go or not. As he sat up on the bed pouting, Columbus hoped that whatever attacked the girls was good and dead now, and that Tallahassee would come back and make some jokes about it.

Columbus gave a small smile at the thought of the older zombie hunter; the redneck was always at his beck and call, and was annoyingly over-protective over the ex-college student. He always knew he would do anything for Tallahassee, for the hick was his new reason for surviving Z-land. His smile faded from his face as he was once more cut off from his thoughts at the sound of even more gunshots; this time he heard Tallahassee's battle cry, and he started to get worried about what was happening outside the bedroom door now.

'_Probably just a few zombies that broke through the window or something.' _Ohio thought, laying back down and awaiting for his older lover to return with a big grin on his face, telling Columbus of how he undoubtedly got Zombie Kill of the Week. But as seconds turn to minutes, and still no sign of Tallahassee walking through the door, Columbus felt a lump in his throat as he started praying that Tallahassee would kill the zombies already and return to him.

After waiting a few more minutes in complete silence without hearing another sound from Florida or the girls, Columbus decided to go against Tallahassee's order and go check out what was keeping him so long from returning. The ex-college student got up from his spot on the comfy bed and started walking towards the door, only to almost have a near heart attack as the door busted opened and revealed a panic stricken Tallahassee, who had blood covering both his bare arms as well as a huge blood stain on the front of his shirt.

Without saying a word to the shocked Ohio, Tallahassee went past him and made a grab for his jacket, then seized Columbus by the wrist and pulled him over towards the unused closet, where he pushed the ex-college student in and threw his black jacket over Ohio's head. Closing the closet door, Tallahassee jammed the door so Collie couldn't get out, and gave a growl as a machete went through the closet door, barely missing his head by a mere inch.

"Keep quiet Ohio." Tallahassee whispered to the door as he turned around and faced the new visitor that was becoming quite a match for Florida, as well as making him believe this was all some kind of a fuckin' nightmare. Columbus gasped as the machete disappeared from the closet door, leaving a chipped hole for him to see what was going on and to see what was making Tallahassee do something as drastic as this.

'_No fucking way! Isn't that guy supposed to be dead? What the hell is going on here?' _Ohio frantically thought as the new visitor looked at the chipped hole in the door for a bit, then turned towards Tallahassee who at that precise moment swung a very expensive lamp at the visitor, making the masked man stumble a bit at the force of the blow. "C'mon you murderous bastard! I'm gonna make you regret messin' with me!" Florida growled out, and promptly ran out of the room to look for a more suitable weapon to use against the machete wielding man.

"J-Jason Voorhees?" Columbus squeaked out as soon as the masked man, now identified as Jason, walked out of the room to give chase to Tallahassee. Fearing for his lover's life, Ohio tried to get the door opened, but it wouldn't budge. "God damn it, Tally! I'll never forgive you if you die on me!" He yelled out, knowing the redneck or anyone else for that matter couldn't hear him. Choking back on a sob, Columbus leaned back against the back wall in the small space he was in and took the jacket that still covered his head off, only to clung to it tightly and prayed that Tallahassee could take down the serial killer really soon.

'_Oh God. What if that blood on Tallahassee was either Wichita or Little Rock's blood? Or worse, his own?' _Ohio gave out a whimper at the thought of Tallahassee being hurt, and hoped that the other were okay wherever they were. Hearing another bone-chilling scream coming from the dark hallway, Columbus clenched the jacket in his arms a bit closer to himself as he looked out of the chipped hole in the door again, this time seeing Jason coming out of the shadows of the creepy hallway, dragging someone by the legs while the person was clawing and trying to get out of Jason's grasp, but their attempts were in vain.

Jason stopped in the middle of the room and suddenly dropped the victim's legs to the ground, turning around to produce his machete out of thin air and jamming his weapon straight through the victim's kneecap to the carpeted floor below, watching as blood started staining the floor from the wound he made while said victim screamed again from the intense pain shooting up their body from their now shattered kneecap.

Columbus desperately wanted to see who it was that Jason had injured really badly and winced at the scream that he heard once again, then froze as he recognized the voice of the victim..."Wichita." The ex-college student whimpered out, wanting to close his eyes and wake up from the fucked up nightmare, but couldn't keep his eyes away from the scene in front of him; Jason pulled his machete out of Wichita's bloody leg, and grabbed her by her throat while walking towards the wall that had a lot of pictures on it. He threw the framed pictures behind him, soon having a wall that was devoid of any pictures on it, and lifted up the struggling Wichita and proceeded to pound her face into the nails that were slightly poking out from the wall.

Wichita was now screaming for him to stop as Jason brutally kept on slamming her face into the nails that were jutting out from the wall, rubbing her face against the nails and only stopping for a moment when he felt a strange presence behind him. Columbus gave a cry of terror as he looked at Wichita's now skin torn face; there was blood everywhere and the skin was either hanging off her face or was completely sliding off onto the bloody carpet.

"Help me, someone! Please!" Wichita cried out one last time, but before Ohio could try to make an attempt to bust his way out of there and try to help Wichita, he froze when he saw Jason's shadow..._moving. _Blinking his watery eyes, Columbus stared at the killer's shadow, watching as it _started forming into another shape. _The shadow took on a semi solid form, and from the looks of it, Ohio could tell it wasn't anything good. In fact it looked like something that Columbus considered was from another nightmare altogether and almost had another heart attack as the new figure rose up and turned into the one monster the ex-college feared the most: Pyramid Head.

"Oh my fucking God..." Ohio trembled as Pyramid Head took a step away from Jason, then reached out Wichita, who was still screaming and writing in pain. The machete-wielding killer gave the other monster a curious glance before letting the other have his bloody victim, watching as Pyramid Head took the survivor by the back of the neck and with inhuman strength grabbed a handful of both Wichita's clothes and skin with a painful twist and separated them from her now bloody skeleton. A few seconds later, Pyramid Head threw the Wichita's bloody remains near the window while he threw the skin and clothes up against the closet where Columbus was hiding.

Columbus felt like he was going to throw up from the gruesome scene he just saw, and could have sworn both deadly monsters were now looking at the hole torn closet door, probably now planning his demise while he tries to keep himself from hyperventilating. To Ohio's surprise Pyramid Head disappeared before his very own eyes, as if he never existed in the first place. '_But...That's not possible! Is he...one of those evil spirits that inhabit this house?'_ The ex-college student could only watch hopelessly as Jason turned around and walked back into the dark hallway again, probably going off to find someone else to kill off painfully. '_Just like Wichita...' _Columbus slid down the wall he was leaning on and finally broke down into tears at his friends death.

Trying to shake his mind to fight off the images of Wichita's death that threaten to plague his mind all night long, Columbus got back up and started ramming his shoulder into the jammed door, wanting to get out and find Tally and Little Rock as soon as he could so they could get the hell out of this place, far far away where Jason couldn't find them no matter where he went. It was then it hit him that he could be the last one that was alive from Jason's slaughtering path, and that Florida and Little Rock could already be dead somewhere in the house.

"NO! They can't be dead! Tally can't be dead! He just can't!" Ohio cried out as he give the door one last hit with his shoulder, giving a little squeak of surprise when the door finally let up and pushed outward at the force of his shove. Ohio regretted when he looked down at Wichita's remains as he walked away from the bloody room, pausing only to finally throw up his dinner from earlier, almost falling to his knees in his own vomit. After letting his stomach spew out the contents in it, Ohio wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his hoodie, not caring at the moment if he got it dirty or not. For right now he needed to find Tallahassee and Little Rock and help them get out of here.

Feeling adrenaline rush running through his veins, Columbus hurriedly ran down the stairs, gasping in horror at the sight that greeted him in the living room; Little Rock was lying face down on the love seat, with blood pooling underneath her body. "Little Rock!" Ohio yelled as he ran over towards the younger girl, crying out in horror when he flipped her onto her back and saw lifeless eyes stare right back at him. Upon further inspection, he saw the deep gash on Little Rock's throat, signaling that she died a painless death, by a sharp knife no less.

"God damn it!" Ohio yelled out, not caring if the machete-wielding monster heard him or not at the moment. Laying Little Rock gently back down on the couch, he took off his hoodie and put it over Little Rocks body, praying that Little Rock was in a better place now. Taking in a deep breath, Columbus got back on his feet and started to search for Tallahassee. He knew in his heart that Florida was somewhere, probably planning his next attack against Jason or something.

Columbus started his search in the kitchen first, then went his way from room to room, dread and horror filling his heart when there was still no signs of his cowboy. "Tally? If you can hear me, say something! Tally!" Columbus kept on calling out for Florida as he went down into the hallway, thinking his lover would come out and get pissed at him for coming out of his hiding place. But instead of getting an answer, Ohio gave a yell of surprise as he was pushed up against the wall, a cold large gloved hand enclosing around his throat from behind.

"Uggh!" The ex-college student felt his air being cut off as he felt his feet leave the carpet, trying to struggle against his attacker. As his vision started to go black, Ohio gave up struggling and just wanted to see Tallahassee one last time, and tell him that he loved him more than anything before he died. As if someone from above was listening in on Columbus' thoughts, the hand that was choking him to death disappeared, making Ohio collapse on the ground, gasping for precious air for his lungs. Gaining his vision back, the ex-college student looked over towards his attacker, seeing Jason struggle with someone that was restricting him from behind. Upon seeing Tallahassee's cowboy hat pop up a few times behind Jason's back, Ohio felt a surge of happiness flow through him at the thought that Florida was still alive.

"Tally! You're alive! Oh thank God! Where have you-" Columbus didn't get to finish his sentence as Tallahassee was pushed to the ground, giving a weak growl as he pressed his hand against his wounded side where Jason had sliced him open earlier, and glared at the serial killer as he loomed over the redneck with his machete ready to kill him.

"Ohio! Run! Get out of here! This bastard just won't die, no matter what we throw at 'im!" Tallahassee yelled at the younger man, giving Columbus one last smile before Jason raised his machete over his head and dealt the killing blow to Tallahassee...

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"Noooooo! Tally!" Columbus screamed out, tossing and turning in a sweat on the bed he shared with Florida. Tallahassee came back into the room with a fresh new shirt on, since Ohio threw up on him while having that fuckin' feverish nightmare that Tally couldn't seem to wake Collie up from. It was irritating the hell out of him that he couldn't fend off whatever was hurting Columbus in his dreams, but the least he could do was to be there for the kid until the nightmare was over.

"Spit-fuck? Ohio? C'mon wake up, Collie." Tallahassee murmured, getting back on the bed and holding Columbus close to him, feeling the younger man shiver as Ohio gave out another yell of his name. Carding his finger though Columbus' now sweaty curls, the redneck hoped that the fever Ohio had gotten a few hours ago would break soon, cause they were running out of medicine for his fever, and Florida wanted to go out and get more medicine for his Spit-fuck, but he didn't trust the girls to look after him while he was gone.

Tallahassee looked down in surprise when he felt felt a wet spot forming on his shirt. Ohio was now crying, and it pained Florida to see Ohio in such a state. "Don't cry, Ohio. I'm here for ya. C'mon now. Wake up, Spit-fuck. Your just having a bad dream, that's all." His words must have done the trick, for Columbus' eyes opened from his terrible nightmare, and looked up in disbelief at Tally's face.

"T-Tally? It's really you? You-you aren't dead?" The feverish Ohio asked, the tears kept falling as he lifted up a hand a cupped the side of Tallahassee's face, giving a cry of joy at the warmth he found there. "You...You are real! Oh Tally!" The ex-college student clung to the older zombie hunter, thanking whatever god that was up there that it was all a nightmare. A very shitty nightmare that looked and felt real.

The redneck buried his face in Collie's hair and rocked a bit, trying to calm Ohio down a bit and hoped that the other wouldn't have such a bad nightmare ever again. "It's all right, Spit-fuck. I'm here for ya. Not going anywhere till ya feel better, 'mkay?" Florida murmured into Columbus' hair, knowing the younger man heard him loud and clear. He felt Ohio nod his head a bit against his shoulder, and kept rocking in a soothing manner until he heard soft snores coming from Ohio. Tallahassee reached over towards the nightstand and grabbed the dreamcatcher he found in the room next door and hung it above the headboard, vowing that he'd never let Columbus watch another horror movie ever again, for he didn't want this to ever happen again to his Collie.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Rabbit: The end! Huzzah for this being my very first try at writing a horror fic, as well as getting this thing DONE for Halloween! /Does a happy dance/ So ummmm...How did I do for my first horror fic? Good? Bad? Please tell me! AND HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE! Oh, and please pay tribute to my Tally muse, who actually did die during the making of this fic. =w=

End file.

The Deadly Visitor by YamixYuugiLover


1. Wedding night

**I place full responsibility on Slytherin' Queen for saying this sounded like a good idea... The story title and lyrics are from a Rich Mullins song, and I swear I got this idea entirely from the Book of Genesis.**

_Jacob, he loved Rachel and Rachel, she loved him
And Leah was just there for dramatic effect _

Little Rock lay in bed, still awake, and still flushed and smiling, listening to the sound of her husband's heartbeat. The events of the night had been strange, awkward and sometimes frightening, but there was nothing she regretted. Raising her head, she whispered, "Is he always like this?"

On the other side of Columbus, Wichita said, "A lot. Not all the time."

"I guess we wore him out."

"You had him last."

"Yeah, well, you had him _twice_. I was afraid I was going to wake up a virgin." She kissed Columbus's cheek, and patted the hand on her hip. "But my man came through for me." She reached down for a casual grope.

"Don't do that," Wichita said. Columbus grimaced. "He doesn't like that. Not unless we're going all the way, I mean."

"Wait... Is he still awake?" Little Rock poked his nose.

"He gets... sort of halfway," Wichita said. "When he wakes up, he can tell me what he hears."

"Sneaky," Little Rock said, drumming her fingers on their husband's ribs. "Trying to eavesdrop when we think he isn't listening." She looked at Wichita, lying with Columbus's right arm around her. She felt a little jealousy at the intimacy with which their husband held his first bride. Her older sister had married Columbus (or at any rate slept with him) three years earlier, and she was not quite halfway toward having their second baby. That was what had set things going. Little Rock loved her nephew, and as she grew from girl to young woman, she had fallen in love with her brother-in-law. It had taken her sister's intervention for her to admit it, even to herself. That was how she ended up here, wedded on her sixteenth birthday and sharing the night with her sister.

She met her sister's eyes. Wichita kept a solemn face when she was with Columbus (something Little Rock had known long before tonight), but as their eyes met, she smirked. "So," she said to her younger sister. Little Rock grinned wider, and blushed even deeper. She could not speak, but she was struggling not to laugh. "Come on. Say it: I..."

"Well, I know you do," she managed, then burst out laughing, so hard her chest heaved and her ribs ached. She had laughed the same way, when- "Wait... wait," she hiccuped, "is he smiling? He's smiling!"

"It's okay," Wichita said, kissing their man on the cheek. "I love you anyway."

"We love you," Little Rock said. Soon, they all settled into sleep.

	2. Birth Days

**I looked at the counter today and thought, "What? This is a hit?" Fair warning, this chapter is going to set the tone for the rest.**

_And her sky is just a petal pressed in a book of a memory
Of the time he thought he loved her and they kissed _

_And her friends say, "Ah, he's a devil"
But she says, "No, he is a dream"
This is the world as best as I can remember it_

Wichita and Little Rock managed a friendly rivalry for their husband's attentions. But, by semi-spoken agreement, Little Rock had him all to herself in the morning. He was still shy with her, but he enjoyed her laughter and smiles, and there were times when they spent more than an hour just sitting and talking. Then there were times when she brusquely interrupted with, "Less talk, more cock."

Wichita wanted more attention than usual as she got further into the pregnancy. On the nights she insisted she was especially needy, she handed her son Sam off to her sister. Once or twice a month, they would spend a night all together. Wichita never showed any envy toward her sister for sharing her husband's body, but there were more than a few dark looks exchanged when she walked in on their morning talks.

Wichita's second son arrived in May. Columbus held him up exultantly, and dubbed him Daniel. Little Rock cuddled him and got what might be a smile, while Wichita lay looking a little too pleased. As Little Rock gave the newborn to his mother, Wichita hugged her and whispered, "Your time's coming."

Little Rock was reasonably sure she conceived that night.

Columbus and his wives hadn't seen much of Tallahassee since they settled on their homestead in northern California. He was still roaming, killing all the zombies he could find. But once in a while he dropped by. "Holy *!" he said as Little Rock came out to meet him, "the little sister got big!"

Little Rock smiled and cradled the bulge in her belly. "Yup... I'm four months along." As she turned to call to her husband and sister, Tal frowned.

"There's settlements cropping up all over the place," Tal said. "There's a big one not twenty miles from here that just opened a hospital." He glanced to Little Rock, then to Columbus.

Little Rock was amicable to going to the hospital, but over one thing and another they didn't get around to it until early in the sixth month. That was when Wichita found her lying in front of the toilet in a pool of blood. As Columbus drove breakneck through the mountains, Little Rock whimpered over and over: "I had a boy... a boy."

	3. Homecoming

**Lots of hits, no complaints. So, here goes... **

_Now Jacob got two women and a whole house full of kids
And he schemed his way back to the promised land
And he finds it's one thing to win 'em
And it's another to keep 'em content
When he knows that he is only just one man _

Little Rock spent a week in the hospital. The doctors told her that the cause was an old infection- something left behind by the only other man who ever took her, well before she was a woman. Her husband was beside her day and night, and her sister stayed by her as often as she could without leaving her own children unattended. The night before she was released, the doctors talked to Little Rock and Columbus, kindly but firmly warning that she might not conceive again, and that it would be dangerous for her if she did. When the doctors left, Columbus looked sad and troubled. He only looked more troubled when Little Rock smiled and said, "We can always beat the odds."

while her sister was recovering, Wichita insisted on abstaining, and was not entirely pleased when Columbus accepted it without argument. On the sixth week, Columbus took both wives back to his bed, and afterward, he had the talk. "The doctors think Little Rock shouldn't have more children," he said. "I think- maybe- they are right."

"No," Little Rock said. "I want babies. I always have. And I married you because there is no one I would rather have babies with."

Columbus sighed and glanced to Wichita. She was silent, and her face a blank. "Abbie... I love you, and I think you are a wonderful mother. I mean that: You are a mother, now, even if the kids aren't the ones you gave birth to. You should know that better than anyone. Krista isn't your sister by blood, but you _are_ sisters, because you love each other. If you did have the same mother and father, you couldn't love each other more! I mean- how many sisters could even try to do- something- like... this..." He started to sink back under the covers.

Wichita reached across to her sister. "I love you, Abbs," she said. Little Rock only frowned. "I want you to be happy and well. I want you here for us, for Sammy and Dan..."

Little Rock darted off the bed. "You! Your husband, your kids, you! _You you you!_ And easy for you to say, when you're putting out like an assembly line! What about me? What about mine?" She stormed out of the room, pausing belatedly to throw on a robe. Columbus looked expectantly at Wichita, but she did nothing.

They both came when they heard a baby's wail. They found Little Rock in Danny's room, holding him so tightly that he cried.

**Now, go read something with exotroopers!**

	4. Restless

_And his sky's an empty bottle and when he's drunk the ocean dry
Well he sails off three sheets to some reckless wind
And his friends say, "Ain't it awful"
And he says, "No, I think it's fine"
And this is the world as best as I can remember it _

It happened while Columbus, Wichita and Little Rock were watching _Boys and Girls_ together. "The characters work, but the story is just stupid," he said. "Ryan was happy with Megan. Jennifer was doing fine on her own. A guy like him wouldn't cheat on a girl who already liked him, never mind throw it away on someone he already struck out with. All it really is, is the screenwriters making the story into something that isn't real. Like, if two people have fun together when they're kids, and still have fun in college, then they must be `destined' for each other. That's not real life! In real life, people find out that some of the things they wanted aren't things they can have or even still want. Real people can see that some good things are only good at what they are. They learn to be happy with what they have, or they are never happy at all! So why couldn't they tell a story like that? Let Ryan learn to be happy as friends with Jennifer and a boyfriend with Megan! Because that wouldn't just be more real; I think it would be a lot more positive than some screenwriter's idea of predestination."

"Whoa," Little Rock said, rubbing his shoulder, "it's a cheesy movie, not a manifesto." Columbus kissed her, and then put an arm around each of his wives. It was only then that he realized Wichita was crying.

He took them both that night. He started with Little Rock, and finished with Krista. When it was over, the younger sister went right to sleep, but Wichita remained awake, shifting restlessly. "Do you love me?" she said. He mumbled the affirmative. "Do I make you happy?" He never answered.

Then there came his 29th birthday (in his sixth year as a married man). As the day approached, his wives jockeyed to spend the night with him, making various proposals to entice him. Little Rock seemed to be making the stronger bid. Then Wichita tried to sweeten the deal: "I'll make you dinner!"

Columbus gave a noncommital but definitely positive response. Little Rock looked disdainfully at Wichita as he walked out. "What?" Wichita said defensively.

"You... just offered _him_ food... for sex." Wichita "humphed" indignantly, but blushed furiously.

Two weeks later Wichita announced she was expecting her third. Soon after, she had the worst of her few open fights with her sister. The next morning, Columbus went out to check out a newly cleared field. At nightfall, he had yet to come back.

The day after that, Wichita never got out of bed. Little Rock brought her meals and took care of the kids. At the end of the day, she told her sister, "He will come back." The next day, Wichita was up, but didn't say a word to her sister, but in the evening they hugged each other and cried. The day after that, they played with the boys, catching and releasing insects at a pond, and spent all night talking.

On the fourth day, Columbus was back in the house, returned unannounced while they slept. Tallahassee was with him. Nothing was ever spoken between husbands and wives about what had transpired in those three days.

	5. Wishes and Worries

**Next to last chapter, and the last is already in progress... I appreciate readers for following through this odd little run. Reviews VERY welcome.**

_Now Rachel's weeping for the children
That she thought she could not bear
And she bears a sorrow that she cannot hide
And she wishes she was with them
But she just looks and they're not there
Seems that love comes for just a moment
And then it passes on by _

Wichita was on her fourth child when Little Rock got pregnant again- this time with twins. Columbus was attentive to the point of being a nuisance, and increasingly anxious. He feared losing his youngest bride, just turned twenty-one. Little Rock feared losing the baby more. But what she fretted over most was how Columbus would act when she delivered. She still had the picture etched in her mind of him lifting Danny high over his head, an expression of pure joy on her face. It was her obsession to relive that moment, with her own baby in his arms. And, it was very important to her to have a boy. She didn't think it could be the same with a girl, even after he saw him do a dance with Wichita's first baby girl in his arms, and she felt that some power in the universe owed her a boy.

She delivered two baby girls, five weeks early. It was a close thing, but both were as healthy as could be expected, fragile but perfect. Columbus didn't raise them or swing them, but held their tiny bodies tenderly and fearfully, like crystal that might break at a touch. When she saw the tip of his pinky in Lindsay's jewel-like fist, she knew that this was better than any replay of Wichita's deliveries. "Three boys and three girls," he said, wiping tears from his eyes. "The perfect family." Wichita and Little Rock gave each other wary glances.

From the day she returned from the hospital, she wrapped her life around her daughters. She often wept when she held them, and sometimes held them too tightly and they cried. When her husband took her, he often cried, as viscerally as she laughed, and sometimes he held her so tight that she cried out in pain.

Lindsay and Elizabeth grew somewhat slowly in their first year, and Wichita opined more than once that this was because their mother insisted on nursing them herself. On occasion, Wichita would do something she thought would remedy the situation, and Little Rock found out about it and got angry. On one of these occasions, Columbus and Tallahassee were both within earshot. While his wives complained loudly and in detail, Columbus said with desperate enthusiasm, "So, tell me about the latest zombie kill of the week!"

Despite their quarrels, Little Rock and Wichita spent more time together, and grew closer than they hat in years. The shared bond of motherhood renewed the bonds of sisterhood, and one night, after Wichita told her sister she thought she was pregnant again, Wichita confessed her deepest fear: "Sometimes... I wonder if Columbus loves me any more, or if he ever did."

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"Yes! And you know what he said to me? `Of course I love you! You're the mother of my sons!' And I let him make love to me, but I wanted to scream, `What the *'s that supposed to mean?'" After a spate of weeping, she concluded, "You're lucky, Abbs. You're the one he's with no matter what. Me- I don't even know if he would have stayed to our first anniversary if I hadn't gotten knocked up."

Then Little Rock screeched: "_Me? __Lucky?_ Do you know how much I worried whether I was ever going to give him a baby? It wasn't just because I wanted to. I was afraid, if I didn't, or even if I didn't give him a boy, he wouldn't love me. Not the way he loves you."

Wichita wrapped her arms around her sister and said tenderly, "You... are a dumb little * head."

There were long moments of silence. Then Little Rock began to laugh, the way she laughed on her wedding night. "I think- maybe- it... _runs in the family!_" Then her sister started laughing even harder than she did.

	6. Ending and Beginning

**I debated how to end this, and especially possible reactions. I finally decided to go the Frank R. Stockton route, and give everybody a reason to be pissed off.**

_And her sky is just a bandit
Swinging at the end of a hangman's noose
'Cause he stole the moon and must be made to pay for it
And her friends say, "My, that's tragic"
She says, "Especially for the moon"
And this is the world as best as I can remember it _

Lindsay and Elizabeth seemed to sprout in their third year, until they were as tall as their half-sister Colleen. Their mother no longer cried when she held them, though sometimes they would protest that she was holding them too tight. Every time Little Rock made a new mark where she measured their height on the wall, her mind whirled at all the hopes and fears, wishes and dreams she had held, the ones which had been fulfilled, and the ones which had failed, and the ones which might yet come to be.

In the tenth year of her marriage, Wichita lost two children. Her second baby girl, Jessica, died from a virus. Then precious little Danny was hit by a drunk driver from town. Columbus buried them both in the new field. Little Rock was as devastated as Wichita, especially at losing Daniel. Columbus told his wives they were lucky to have lost so few. Every week he spent at least one long afternoon in the field and returned with eyes still red.

A little before Little Rock's tenth anniversary, Wichita delivered her seventh child, with complications. The doctors at the hospital saved the mother and the child, but could do nothing about her uterus. Wichita was left with five children, three boys and two girls. She was 36. She cried for weeks, mourning the children she had lost, and the ones she could not bear. Then after due time, Columbus took her to bed and told her, "We had a good run. Now we can just enjoy." Then for the first time, she laughed after it was done. Thereafter, they spent more and more time walking, and working, and talking together. He found her more beautiful, too, as she began to work off the compound interest of pounds from the children she had born to keep his love. By the time she was 39, she was able to go on a "second honeymoon" wearing clothes that had not fit her since her first.

On the day Little Rock turned 30, Columbus and Wichita took her out to a beloved little greenhouse he had unveiled for her long ago on some occasion none of them could remember for certain. He took her to the wall behind her first and favorite rose bush. "Where's the _new_ gift?" she asked.

Her husband would not- could not answer. So Wichita said, "We wanted to show this to you a long time ago, but we didn't know if you could handle it. We decided now was the time." Without a moment of hesitation or uncertainty, Columbus took a pry bar to one particular brick in the wall and wrenched it loose with a single tug. Little Rock looked in. For a moment, she was uncertain what it was for a moment, and for a little longer she was uncertain what it meant. Then she was on her knees, her husband with her, crying in front of the thimble-sized urn that held her son.

On the day of Little Rock's 20th anniversary, little Lizzy announced that a boy from the school in the city had proposed to her, and she was accepting. Two years later to the day, Columbus joyfully raised up his first grandchild. At Little Rock's suggestion, the child was named Austin, and the birth certificate said "Austin the Third". His grandfather finally admitted to being named Austin. What no one said was that "Austin, Jr." was not the name on his birth certificate, but on the tiny silver urn in Little Rock's jewelry box.

Then, as she returned to the homestead and retired to bed, and her husband lay between his wives, eyes closed but ears awake, she whispered in his ear: _"I'm pregnant."_

_And this is the world as best as I can remember it _

End file.

Jacob and 2 women by David N. Brown


Wishes

**A/N: This is my first time writing anything for Zombieland. Could you call this fluff? Maybe. Also, I apologize for the weird formatting.**

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* * *

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"Why're you crying?" Tallahassee makes this gentle inquiry as he watches Columbus play with the drawstrings of his sweatshirt. The sight is a bit of a shock for him. He's only really seen this once before, when they were barelling down the highway and Tallahassee secretly glanced at Columbus to see tears in the boy's eyes.

"I. Uh. I'm not crying." Columbus tries to lie and then sighs, slumping further against the headboard of his twin bed. Opposite him, Tallahassee is sprawled on the couch, watching Ohio and becoming increasingly concerned.

He thinks that maybe losing Witchita and Little Rock has finally started to hurt his friend's heart.

Minutes pass in silence. Columbus sniffs loudly, freezes - this is so embarrassing. He's an ex-college student. A man. Men shouldn't cry, even in the apocalyptic shithole of Zombieland, the place where tears are at least somewhat justifiable.

"Bullshit, spit-fuck," Tallahassee scoffs, and though crass, the statement is not malicious. It's simply an observation, one Columbus has to admit is true. He is crying. There are tears everywhere, blurring his vision and his thoughts.

The Floridian crosses the tiny room they've turned into a two-man refugee camp to stand beside Columbus' bed, staring down at the kid. Tallahassee has to admit that Columbus brings out the father in him, he can feel all of the parental love he never got to bestow on Buck before he disappeared forever, now being projected onto his young friend.

He almost cries here, seeing Columbus so vulnerable. He hates that Columbus has lost his smile and geeky sense of humor.

Tallahassee wants to hate Witchita and Little Rock for leaving his friend abandoned like this. He realizes that before their group split up, the odd arrangement was the closest thing young Ohio had ever had to family.

It hurts to know what the separation has done to his friend, how quickly it has changed - it hurts to know that this was inevitable because Witchita and Little Rock are just stupid, flighty girls.

But mostly, it hurts to know they've hurt someone he cares for. Tallahassee, at this point in his life, couldn't give any less of a damn about his own feelings.

His only companion's current depression, however, means something entirely different to him.

So he says, "It's okay to cry, kid," suddenly stepping into the shoes of a parent and letting his spit-fuck drain his heart out on a leather-clad shoulder.

It's the least he can do.

Columbus pulls his head away from Florida's body sometime later. The red rings around his eyes have been there for so long that Tallahassee almost thinks they're a normal thing to see.

But he knows what 'normal' is for Columbus.

Not this, never this.

"I-I-I'm sorry, Tallahassee," Columbus murmurs, wiping his eyes. Tallahassee hugs Columbus - awkward, one armed, brief, a man to man sort of gesture, and stares out the window at the darkening sky.

"I'm gonna go get ready for bed, kid," he finally says, trundling off to the tiny bathroom they share without waiting for a reply.

"Okay," Columbus whispers to the empty air, left alone with his feelings eating a hole through his heart.

**-ZLAND-**

Columbus props himself on one elbow and watches Tallahassee, who is peacefully asleep on the couch.

It's hard, admitting his feelings.

Coming to terms with where, exactly, his heart stands.

It will always confuse him to some degree, but there's one thing he's absolutely sure he wants right now.

Isn't it worth trying to reach out and grab it?

Before he can chicken out completely, Columbus whispers, "Tally."

Tallahassee stirs, blinking sleepily, and stares over blankly at Columbus.

"Kid?" He whispers, his voice hoarse with leftover sleep.

Words are beyond Columbus now. He swallows thickly and gestures to the empty side of his bed.

Tallahassee stiffly rises, lying down beside Columbus.

Then he says what Columbus was both hoping and dredding he would hear.

"Is there something you need?"

"I need..." Columbus runs his tongue over his lips, but his mouth is so dry the action is useless. "I need..." he tries again, struggling for words.

"I have to show you," he says, mentally preparing himself for whatever response Tallahassee will hurl back at him.

Tallahassee lifts his hands in the air - the cowboy in a bad western staring down the sherrif.

Columbus stretches across the bed in a surprisingly nimble way and presses his lips to Tallahassee's.

All of the air is momentarily pulled from Tallahassee's lungs - and, it seems, the room.

This kiss isn't really a surprise to him. He kind of expected it. It wasn't as though Columbus' lingering glances had escaped his notice.

They break apart after a moment, and the searing heat between their lips vanishes with their contact.

"Not bad for a scrawny little spit-fuck," Tallahassee chuckles.

"You- you're not mad at me?" That sweatshirt drawstring finds its way into Columbus' mouth again.

"Hell no!" Though it's dark, Columbus swears he can see Tallahassee blushing a bit.

"I actually liked that, spit-fuck. No worries."

Silence.

Neither of them move.

"Goodnight, kid."

"Night, Tally."

End file.

Wishes by writingmyownhistory-inactive


My list to survive a zombieland

First off I want to thank

Loveunderamidnightsky

lovelikewoe13

AJ aka Stalker

Thanks for leaving a review. And I thought of another rule so im adding it.

Hollow everybody. It is I. Billybob2010! As some of you might remember I'v brought you The fan fiction Zombieland **- Pontiac **and I shared the **how to survive a zombie attack! Poster. **After I posted it I got a few reviews. Some of you have said that I'd could make my funny own rules. Now I'm not really that funny. But I'm willing to give it a shot. So here they are.

**Rules**

**Rule 1. You got something on your face. I'll get it.**

Head shot are the fastest way to deal with zombies. The best place to aim for is under the nose, center of the upper lip. Can you say brain stem?

**Rule 2. What If?**

If you find your saying oh shit. Chances are you didn't have a plan. Always plan ahead. And have a plan B, C, D, E or more. Try to think of everything that can go wrong. The What If game is a good way to help you to plan ahead.

**Rule 3. A Game changer.**

Always be ready to change thing up. The city gone. It just you and your love one. Time to get out. If your trying to get out of town using the interstate and the out going lanes are chocked with traffic. Don't just sit there. Go ahead and use the incoming lanes. Sure you might be going the wrong way. But It should be empty. And the cops have more pressing things to deal with. Then bother some one going the wrong way.

**Rule 4. No hospitals. There to costly!**

Hospitals are expensive nowadays . But after Z-Day they cost you more then a leg or arm. They cost you your life.

**Rule 5. Watch your step!**

Tempting as it might be to look back and see your adoring fans chasing after you. It better to watch were your going. Cause if you fall. Your fans wont be to interesting in helping you up. No Instead they be more interesting in help them self's to a piece of you. And I'm not talking about you clothes.

**Rule 6. From my cold dead hands!**

Your weapon is one of the most importing tools in Zombieland. Keep hold of your weapon. Cause if you loss it your die. Might as well have a death grip on it any way.

**Rule 7. So take a look. Its in a book. Reading rainbow! **

Hey that guy from star trek was right. Everything you'll need to know for stating over after the zombie Apocalypse. It can be found In a book. So that means books are wroth there weight in gold. Don't know how to do something. There a book on it that can teach you. Just go down to your local library and pick it up. Plus zombies cant read so it'll be the only zombie free zone in town.

**Rule 8. A mans castles!**

Running around all day killing zombies is all good and fun. But its hard work and your going to have a safe place to lay your head at night. Preferably a to story house somewhere out side of town. Make it into a fort. Destroy the stairs and live up on the second floor.

**Rule 9. Groovy !**

Ok so chains saw may be cool. But there heavy, loud and they run on gas. Oh and killing a zombie with one is really messy business . Zombie body fluids are biological hazards. I don't know about you . But I don't want to be cover in that crap. Ah hell what am I saying. Their a blast to play with. Just wear a rain coat and protective eyewear. You should be fine.

**Rule 10. Where's the good stuff? This is the good stuff. Snakes and sparklers! **

Fire works can distract the zombie horde. But only if it's the good stuff like the stuff you see on the 4th of July. You know the stuff you and me can't buy anywhere.

**Rule 11. Please Run! Don't walk.**

Sometimes its just better to run. It might not seem cool. But if all you have is five rounds left. And over twenty zombie running towards you. Run! But if you cant run and have to stand your ground. Then to stay and fight.

**Rule 12. A deer caught in the lights.**

Driving at night is extremely risky. You wont be able to see very far up the road and that means less time to react to an obstacle on the road. Also every set of hungry eyes that see your head light will follow them. So if you stop for a nap. When you wake up you'll find your self surrounded.

**Rule 13. Crazy crazy crazy!**

Humor the crazy people. Especially the ones that armed to the teeth with a number of death dealers.

**Rule 14. Smokes!**

When the apocalypse happens money will be come useless. There a lot of people out there that smoke and they can't kick this disgusting habit. In fact cigarettes are used as form of currency in the prison system. So its more then likely cigarettes will become very valuable. So even if you don't smoke grab a couple of cartons. Who knows they might get you a couple rounds of ammo or some gas.

**Rule 15. Music! **

The moans of the dead and the silences of an empty world can drive you to insanity. Music can help you with that. So a MP3 player or an I Pod is a must.

**Rule 16. Damn I love Jello!**

Jello can last a while and its loaded with a lot of calories. it's a perfect source of calories all you have to do is add water.

**Rule # 17. Oo Yeah!**

O no your trapped in a room and zombies are beating on the door. Don't threat summon your inner cool aid guy. Go throw the wall. Most walls today are covered by drywall. Knock along the wall and listen. You know what? Screw that its to time consuming. Just grab something heavily Chair, table whatever and start smashing through that wall. You have to squeeze through the support beams. Just be ready to run. Cause you'll never know what on the other side. It maybe an empty room or a room full of zombies. Come to think about maybe you should knock and listen. It your choice. O don't forget to yell Oo Yeah!

I came up with a lot of these rules on the fly. But some of them were inspired by movies and TV shows. Probably not very funny. But like I said I'm not a very funny person. All the same hope at lease there's one or two that where funny. Till next time. O one more thing. Please leave a review. Love them or hate them. Let me know. You should be able to leave anonymous reviews. Good bye. I spelled Hellow wrong dont think any one noticed Mwahahahaahhaha. (Light bolts flash behind me)

End file.

My list to survive a zombieland by Billy Bob 2010


3

**Just a quick little snippet from my mind. Was sitting in Casa Ole watching UT bash OSU over the head with their pride when it occurred to me... _why the number 3_? So this is what I came up with...**

**Disclaimer: Zombieland obviously doesn't belong to me, yaddayadda, Columbia Pictures does I think.**

**Edit:_ I know that Earnhardt Sr.'s number was 3. I _do_ live in America. However, Tallahassee does not strike me as a NASCAR watcher, and this was just an idea I felt like writing about, so please stop the incessant "Dale Earnhardt's number was 3, dummy..." reviews. Please? _**

**Enjoy?**

**Ah, and it's from Columbus' POV.**

* * *

"Why 3?"

In all the time I'd been with Tallahassee, I had never asked the question. The first time I saw it on the side of the Escalade, it wasn't much of a mystery.

Maybe he was keeping track of how many cars he went through? I found out that that wasn't the case when we got the Hummer.

Keeping track of the living humans he found? Me, Little Rock and Wichita make three, but that was after he had it first on the Escalade.

Maybe he was a race car driver before the zombie apocalypse, or it was his lucky number. But I wanted to know the actual reason. No more of my theories.

So I asked.

At first he gave me that, "what the fuck you blabberin' 'bout?" look, but then he realized what I was looking at- the number he was painting on the side of the F-350 two-ton that was replacing the Zombie-gore covered, windowless and heavily battered car that we had gotten from Bill Murray's place.

"... I need a reason?" He finally asked after considering me for a few seconds that seemed like minutes. The man's got this way of staring at you with those cool blue eyes that seems to see right through you. It can make you feel scared and safe at the same time, safe in knowing that the man you've got with you is a zombie-killing _machine_, and scared in knowing that he's also an unpredictable SOB that might decide it's better to be safe than sorry if he sees you get too close to zombie teeth.

"Well, no... I just... I mean..." yes, I stuttered, give me a break.

"I _should _have a reason?" He asked, still staring at me with that "wtf you blabberin' 'bout?" look.

"No! I ju-" I cut myself off when he smirked at my denial again and I reluctantly shrugged and nodded a bit. "Yeah... I guess..." was my meek answer under that calculating gaze, but now it held a hint of humor and maybe a touch of sadness. Maybe. But what was Tallahassee ever sad about? Then it hit me. "Oh... Buck..." I don't remember saying it out loud, but he nodded with a sigh.

"He'd just turned three when..." he trailed off and the paintbrush pulled back from his second semicircle as his hand shook minutely with emotion.

"Ah... three's a good number." I suddenly state and feel my breath catch as he raises a brow. Did I say something wrong? It wouldn't be the first time...

I start breathing again when his lips twitch in a smile. "Yeah... it is, isn't it?"

End file.

3 by Scrunchy


Perfect

Perfect by patricia51

(This time everything is going to be just right. Third in my little Z-land romance series. Sequel to "Seducing Columbus". Columbus/Wichita)

(Columbus)

This time we're determined. Everything will be perfect. Every detail will be planned out. And this time I won't faint when I see Wichita, well, you know, without any clothes on. I'll be calm and collected.

Yeah sure. So why are my palms sweating just thinking about it much less bringing up that image of her when she dropped her robe for me that day? I mean I was already hyperventilating as I watched her legs move and the satin of her robe riding up with every step to tease me with glimpses of her bottom.

I suppose it says a lot about me that I was mesmerized with what I was seeing that I never actually thought about what it was all leading to, that her plan was actually for us to make love. And of course that in order to do that she would have to be nude. I swear it never crossed my mind.

From the moment I first saw Wichita I was enthralled with her. Even if I was out of her league. After all, I always remind myself, it's not as if there's a whole lot of competition out there now-a-days. But should someone show up out of the blue with a big red "S" on the front of his shirt I wouldn't worry. I love her and she loves me. That's why I'm working as hard as I can to prepare the perfect setting for us tonight.

(Wichita)

I am scurrying around the house trying to get everything ready while not looking like that's exactly what I'm going to do. Alright, I know that didn't make any sense at all. And why would I even think that I'm fooling anybody? I know that I gave away what Columbus and I am planning the instant I "casually" asked Tallahassee if he and Little Rock wouldn't mind going over to the neighbors for the evening.

Columbus still believes he's a guppy sometimes. He's NOT. Even after I ran away from him he came and rescued my sister and I. True he did have Tallahassee's help to wipe out the zombies we had surrounding us but he was the one who got Florida to come. I sort of wish I had seen him on that motorcycle though, the one he rode for about ten seconds. But he would have thought I was laughing at him. I suspect a lot of people laughed at him over the years but I never want him to think that I'm one of them.

Amazing as it sounds, especially to him, I fell in love with him. That's it. Not just because he threw his most important rule away to be a hero to save us. That's part of it but mostly it's because he really cares for me. Unlike those suckers Little Rock and I ran the table on before the infection started he doesn't just undress me with his eyes and I don't see that look in them that's calculating how he can get me out of my clothes. Or separate me from my money. Serves them right when we cleaned them out. I hope zombies ate every one of them.

Speaking of eating I find it utterly amazing that Columbus has turned into a first rate cook. Not just fixing canned goods and freeze-dried stuff but real honest to goodness food. Who would have thought it? Of course being him he takes a LOT of elaborate precautions and avoids touching a bunch of stuff. So I'm doing a lot of chopping and stuff like that. But it will all be worth it tonight.

(Tallahassee)

Wichita is right. Her suggestion that maybe I would like to spend some time with our neighbors and didn't I think Little Rock would enjoy that too was as obvious as the windshield on my Escalade right after I've cleaned it. But what the hell. It's not as if we're going to the other side of the country. Or drive. It really is just next door to Memphis' place.

Damn, I had forgotten no one has said anything about them. It's been the four of us for so long that I still tend to think of just us, even though we moved a few months ago just so we would be right next to the new family.

That new family does pretty much match ours. The four of us were cooking outside on the grill one evening when we heard a vehicle engine coming. The smoke from the grill gave us away of course. We grabbed our guns and waited. I mean you just never know who's out there.

A dusty Ford SUV pulled up and just sat there for a few moments. Then the door opened, a woman stepped out and I fell in love.

Okay, I admit it. There aren't exactly a lot of women around. In the immediate area Wichita is too young and besides she's in love with Columbus. I'm happy for her and that peppy little spit fuck too. Little Rock is just a child and my feelings towards her are paternal anyway. So any woman upright, breathing and not trying to eat me is going to catch my attention. Even considering that the new arrival was something special beyond my wildest dreams.

What can you say? My height, dark black hair tumbling around her shoulders and flashing black eyes. A figure that was generous without being overblown. Tight jeans, black boots and a blouse that looked like she was poured into it with just the right number of buttons undone.

And then there were her accessories and my God they were the kind to make me nearly drool. A cut down, pistol gripped shotgun that jutted over her left shoulder. A knife damn near as big as mine riding her left hip and the broad black leather belt balanced on the other side by what could only be a Smith and Wesson Model 629, the mighty forty-four magnum in stainless steel. Yep, I was in love.

At the time I barely noticed the two faces peeking through the windows from behind the woman. One was a girl pretty near Little Rock's age. The other, being restrained by the teenager from climbing restlessly out of the open window, made my heart stop even more so than the woman had. Tow-headed with a smile that tugged at my heart and nearly brought tears to my eyes. But I managed to keep my mind on the situation at hand. Not that I expected a woman with two younguns in tow to be starting a firefight but then again I sure was fooled by Wichita and Little Rock too.

Then the woman smiled and spoke.

"That smells mighty good."

And that's how we met Memphis, Dallas and Taos.

(Little Rock)

It's just really been neat having three new people, especially since Dallas is a girl about my age. We hang out together and watch Taos for Memphis. It almost lets us pretend we're two normal near teens babysitting for someone and nothing is wrong with the world. Not that I'm exactly familiar with the concept of "normal" of course.

We only get to keep Taos when Tallahassee isn't doing it. That guy must have been an awesome dad. And he still spends time with me too. When he's not with Memphis naturally. The pair of them took immediately to each other.

It's not just that they are a man and a woman who are roughly about the same age. Hey I might be twelve but I know a LOT about what goes on between girls and guys. Well, theoretically of course. Anyway, what goes on between the two of them goes deeper than just sexual attraction. I never thought I would see anyone who hated zombies as much as Tallahassee but Memphis does. I have a sneaky suspicion that what happened to Buck happened to someone very close to Memphis. Not that I'm going to ask. It's nice to see Tallahassee as happy as he is and her too so why bring up buried hurts?

(Columbus)

As nice as it was to add to our family it did mean there would have to be some changes. The house we had settled in out in the country was too small for seven people so we had to move. Tallahassee and Memphis went scouting, which from the descriptions he at least brought back involved a continual wholesale slaughter of zombies. But while Tallahassee HAS been known to exaggerate we also know how much he loves killing zombies. But Memphis, who is very quiet, nods her head when he talks about their adventures and I know from personal experience how he is when he goes hulk on the infected.

Anyway during these trips they found us a new home or rather a new set of homes. Still well out in the country it's what I am guessing was some kind of extended family farm or ranch of some kind. There's outbuildings and a workshop and barns and no less than three complete houses all nestled right next to each other. Close enough for mutual defense but far enough apart for a little privacy is the way Tallahassee put it; although I suspect he was thinking about him and Memphis rather than Wichita and me.

It took a couple of weeks of non-stop work to set our new place up. First we had to clean it out. I don't mean just the occupying and nearby zombies although there were some of those. No, it's surprising how fast a vacant house runs down hill. So we pretty much hauled everything out of the two houses we were going to live in and hauled it off somewhere. Then we moved our stuff and went looking for more furniture and things for Memphis and her home. Finally came the generator and the trailer of diesel fuel for it.

One thing that had delighted Tallahassee about the new place was that all the heaters, both house and water, were propane fueled. Not only was the tank there nearly full but there's more propane than we could use in a dozen lifetimes at the abandoned truck stop less than an hour from here. But now we're all set up and Wichita and I can hopefully get some alone time without her worrying about Little Rock because she and Tallahassee are off on one of their trips.

(Wichita)

All day long Columbus and I have been exchanging glances and the occasional touch. I'm pretty sure this time he won't faint when he sees me nude and that's exactly how we plan for him to see me before the night is over. Gradually of course, we're not going to rush things. We have all night long and we plan to take advantage of that.

I suppose we should have waited a couple of days to settle in to our new living situation but Columbus and I have waited for what seems to be forever now to have this alone time. Besides, Tallahassee is already falling for Memphis and my sister loves having a friend her own age in Dallas. If things work out eventually there may be a complete shift in living arrangements but Columbus and I aren't going to wait that long. Although I would just about love a nap before tonight after going non-stop for two weeks. But there's no time for that. Too much to do.

(Columbus)

I almost thought Tallahassee was going to take Little Rock and leave without any comments. Yeah, like that was going to happen. Actually neither said anything. But he winked and she sighed and that pretty much said it all. Oh well. I went into the kitchen and splashed some cold water on my face. There was so much to be done if I was going to turn canned meat and vegetables into the perfect kind of dinner that would be fit for the special occasion that tonight was going to be. I started cooking.

(Wichita)

While Columbus whipped up our celebratory feast I cleaned. Yes we had scrubbed the house down completely before and while we moved in but I wanted it perfect. I cleaned the table; I spread a just washed and off the line cloth over it. I bustled back and forth to the kitchen. Trying desperately to stay out of Columbus' way to set the table. I teased him about the cooking wine he seemed to be sampling and he protested it was just for cooking. Tasted pretty good to me though so I didn't blame him for a nip or two. As long as I got to match him. Speaking of that I made sure to open two bottles of good wine to have with supper and after to set the mood.

Speaking of setting the mood I got several candles ready for after dark. In case we are hopefully way to busy to watch them later on I made sure to put their holders in these glass and metal lanterns we scrounged up. That should keep the house from catching on fire should we forget to put them out because our minds are occupied.

Then it was time to get ME ready. That hot shower felt SO good I could have stayed in there four times as long as I did. I remember when my sister and I wouldn't even say the word "Shower" it had been so long since we had one and no clue when we would get the chance. It just felt SO good that I just closed my eyes and darn near drifted off. But I managed to shake off the feeling and wake up. It was time for Columbus to have his turn. I nearly invited him in right then and there but we had worked too hard to make this evening just what we both wanted and I was not going to spoil it.

(Columbus)

Finally the table is set, the candles are lit and the wine is poured. The first bottle of wine since I see Wichita brought out two. The first bottle of table wine that is; we already finished the bottle of cooking wine. What I didn't use in the sauce that is.

My God, she looks so beautiful. From the first moment I saw her my fingers have itched to brush her hair back from her ear as a prelude to everything else. And I've been fortunate now to have got to do that several times. As we eat I can't think of anything but her.

(Wichita)

Dinner was INCREDIBLE. I cannot believe how good Columbus can cook. Another reason why I'm so happy that he's my boyfriend now. I'm going to pay him back with a perfect night that he'll never, EVER forget. Not that it hasn't been perfect so far.

I'm practically groaning when I get up from the table and so is Columbus. We're both staggering a bit too. Maybe we shouldn't have drunk all the wine. Well there's another bottle in the other room where there's a fire in the fireplace and more candles and big fluffy pillow strewn on a rug in front of the fire. And the look in Columbus' eyes makes me shiver.

We settle into our pile in front of the fire, just propped up enough to sip our wine and gently nuzzle each other. I shiver again and we snuggle together under a blanket. He's already brushed my hair of my ear and we've kissed once, twice and then a third time. We're not rushing, we're taking our time. This is all so perfect. It's so comfortable and warm and he feels so good against me...

(Tallahassee)

As quietly as I can I move around the room, careful not to disturb them. Not that that's very likely. I pull the blanket up a little farther, check and make sure the fire is dying out safely and then snuff the remaining candles. I shoo Little Rock upstairs to her and Wichita's bedroom and follow her up to mine.

Got to admit it, it's really nothing more than I would expect. But then they have been working real hard with the move and then getting ready for this time alone together. And Columbus fixed a whopping big meal that they ate about every bit of. Not to mention I found two completely empty bottle of wine and one more near to them that had maybe one glass left in it.

But looking at the pair of them snuggled so close, with her head on his shoulder I'd say overall they pretty much had that perfect evening they were shooting for.

Even if it did end up with them falling asleep together fully dressed.

(The End)

End file.

Perfect by patricia51