Gleaning

**A.N:** My first Zoids fanfiction story ever. :-) I won't ask you to not flame me for lack of knowledge of the show but just to keep in mind that it's been at least 2 years since I've seen the show.

**NOTES:** (N1); this is **NOT **a story based on the Zoids season with Fiona and Van in it. This story is based on the season **before**, with Lena and Bit in it. (N2); There may be some OOCness (Out Of Character) in Lena and Bit, however I will try my hardest to keep them both in character even though I have not seen the show for at least 2 years. (N3); I _have_ seen the ending to the Lena & Bit season but I was fairly disappointed with it so this is my add-on to how I think the season should have ended. (N4); This story is written through Lena's POV (Point Of View). (N5); **Gleaning**: collecting, gathering.

**DISCLAIMER:** Zoids belongs to its respective owners.

_**Gleaning**_

"Bit."

He doesn't see me at first. When I clear my throat loudly and cross my arms across my chest, tapping lightly with one foot, he turns; looking startled and jumpy.

Then he sees me standing there and his face relaxes into a wide smile.

"Hey, Lena."

I think about how it's just like him to pretend that _nothing_ at all was wrong, how even though he **knew** how upset I am, he still likes to act as if everything is alright.

It's not.

"Lena?"

I give an incomprehensible shrug that's out of place in this semi-conversation before looking up at him. His blue eyes are crinkled up in slight concern as he gazes down at me in return.

"You okay?"

I hesitate.

"Yeah...fine. I just heard you were leaving, that's all."

His head pulls back in shock and he blinks rapidly for a few minutes before seemingly pulling himself back together and looking down at me again.

"Brad and the others told you?"

I give a small nod, staring unseeingly at the ground.

"Ah..." He gives a small sigh and it makes me realize just how different we have become under these circumstances. How strange it would have looked to Brad or my father if they had been passing by. I look back up at him and I see his eyes focused on a point above my head, gazing at something that's not there. He's off in his own world again, thinking of something else that is completely unrelated to the subject at hand and I wonder what he's thinking of this time. What is it this time that makes him have the small look of longing shining in his eyes? I think of this and it gives me a small ache deep inside me when I think that it's probably not me.

"Bit."

He gives a tiny jerk and I watch as his eyes slowly lower themselves back onto my face.

"Hm?"

I want to control myself but I've never really been very good at controlling myself. My hands shake violently and I shove them into my pockets.

"How come you have to leave? What's wrong with staying here? You have **everything** here; food, shelter, security..." I was about to add "me" but I stop in time.

"...and the team." I say instead quietly, once more looking down at the floor.

He's silent, broodingly so, and I take his lead, keeping silent as well.

And then he gives another sigh and I cannot tell what it is of. Impatience? Anger? Grief? I cannot understand and I am not sure if I really want to.

"Lena. I'm really sorry. But you don't understand-"

My temper flares up. "What **don't** I understand?" I ask him heatedly, "I don't really think there's **anything** here to understand. You're leaving for no apparent reason and-"

"Lena."

I pause and look at him steadily. "What?" I wait for an excuse, a stupid reason why he's leaving.

He looks serious and sincere when he speaks again, a rare expression seen on his face. "I need to leave. I know I'm leaving a lot behind but I need to, can't you understand? I can't stay in one place forever. It'd kill me. I need to see what's **out** there. I can't just...I can't just stay here when there is so much more for me just waiting for me..." He trails off, looking unsure of what to say next. An uncomfortable silence falls between us.

I clear my throat uneasily before breaking the quiet.

"I...understand", I say this resignedly and he glances quickly at me. Resignation was not something that I normally felt nor showed.

"I can't...I can't stop you from leaving and...if you want to leave...then", I falter, "then...leave. I don't care!" I turn my back on him, not wanting him to see my eyes which were suddenly burning with unwanted tears.

He's silent for a while. Then I hear his footsteps thudding heavily on the ground. I think that he's walking away and I want to scream out at him but instead, his footsteps come closer and closer to me before coming to a stop. I see dust drifting up lazily from his feet.

"I'm sorry", he mumbles this and I turn back to him, my eyes still burning.

"So am I." I don't want you to leave, I want to say. I think I love you and...and if you leave, how will I ever be able to tell you? I'm not ready...I'm not ready to tell you now.

But I don't say anything after that. His hand shifts a little by his side and it seems as if he was about to reach out and touch my shoulder but he seems to think better of it and his hand falls back down to hang loosely by his side.

"When are you leaving?" I suddenly ask and he gives a small shift as if he were surprised at my sudden question.

He recovers quickly though and replies with a bit of apprehension. "The day after tomorrow."

I am startled by the abrupt date. "You work quick."

His face turns away from me as if he realizes how thrown I am by the sudden date.

"Yeah...well, I thought it was better not to stay around here any more than necessary." Here. It's not home to him anymore. Perhaps it never was.

"You were right." It hurts to say it because he **wasn't **right but he wanted to be...he wanted to be right so badly.

He looks back at me almost pleadingly.

"You understand, don't you, Lena? You understand, right?"

I don't and I didn't want to but I nod anyway.

"I understand."

_**Finis**_

**A.N: **So...what do you think? :-) Good or bad? Please review! I am anxious to hear your comments!

End file.

Gleaning by Autumn Dusk


Remorse

Reese stood facing the bright, moonlit sky. It was cold and windy outside, but she didn't mind. Being inside with Raven seemed too much to bear at the moment.

Specula's mechanical steps announced her arrival. She planted herself next to Reese and let out a roar of affection. Absentmindedly, the young woman lifted her hand and patted the Organoid's head.

"I'll go in later," Reese told her.

* * *

Raven sat, hunched, against the cold brick of the fireplace. He sighed as Reese came in and got up to approach her. She looked up at him and smiled a bittersweet smile.

"I guess we're both at a loss," she said.

"Yeah. I have to admit, life gets boring without strife."

"We've been so used to conflict... Now that it has died down, we feel empty." Reese took his hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"Reese," Raven began. Tears welled up and before he realized it, he was clinging to her. The Ancient Zoidian staggered under his weight and she fell into a sitting position. Tears of her own started spilling.

"It's okay, Raven," she reassured him, all the while stroking his hair.

All the things they had done the past few years had suddenly dawned on them. The remorse was too much.
In her mind's eye, Reese could see Nicholo's blurry face. She bit her lip hard and drew blood. Guilt ate at her. He needn't have died. If only she'd known that they would kill him, she would have gone with them. He was the only person who had been truly kind to her. Well, until Raven showed up.

Raven sobbed into her bosom. His past went through his mind in a flash not unlike the vision Reese showed him. His parents' mangled bodies lay on the floor as Ambient swished his tail in victory. He could remember the anguish he had felt at that time.

Prozen raised him like his own kin. He taught him to fight and he gave him Shadow. Though Raven wasn't sure if he should be entirely grateful to him. After all, Prozen taught him to hurt others.

The broken shutters above them rattled in the wind as they silently comforted each other. Their Organoids watched them at a distance. Both knew that their companions needed human warmth and they chose to respect that.

Reese lifted Raven's chin up so that their faces met. He looked so vulnerable then. So childlike.
"We can... We can make up for everything we've done," she assured him.

* * *

**A/N:** So sorry. Quite a long gap from Black & Blue. To be honest I ran out of plots for these two. I hope to write more, though.

End file.

Remorse by Laverne Pettigrew


1. Let's make a date

Disclaimer: I don't own Zoids, or Whose line

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???: Good evening and welcome to a Zoids version of " Whose Line is it Anyway?" On tonight's show... "Will I get paid?" Brad Hunter! "AHHH MY PTERAS!!" Jamie Hemeros! "You ate my cookie!" Leena Tauros! "And Courage with a sense of humor." Bit Cloud! Drew Carey couldn't make it, so I'm your host Max Leunam. Let's go have some fun! (runs down and sits in his seat) Hey everyone. Welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter, just like future Polta/Fuma fics. If you never saw the show before, what happens is we have all the performers come up, they're gonna make everything up, right off the top of their heads, right in front of you. And then we give 'em points. I don't know why, we just do it. And at the end of the show, we pick a winner, the winner gets to do a little something special with me.

Audience: oooooooo..

Max: And the loser has to be forced to make more "How to kill the Champs" fics. Now let's go on to a game called " Let's make a date" Leena, you will be the contestant in some kind of dating show to pick three of the best bachelors in the world.. But you're stuck with these three..

Bit: Hey!
(Everyone sets up and reads their cards)

Max: Anyway, Leena if you're ready, take it away.

Leena: Bachelor #1, I love going out on a nice stroll on the beach. If we had to go on a tropical island for a vacation, what will it be?

Brad: (Bruce Wayne who later on becomes Batman) Well, I'm a really rich guy, so I would send us to a... (sees the Batsignal) .... ummmm I'm sorry. I have to go somewhere. I have a date with the .... nevermind. (runs backstage)

Leena: uh...huh..Why's HE here? Bachelor #2. I'm a girl who wants the ideal guy. But what do you want in a girl?

Jamie: (Police officer who thinks Leena is a prisoner safely behind bars) Well whoever it is, it certainly won't be you or any other law breaking punk friends of yours!

Leena: .....I wish I had my Gunsniper... Bachelor #3. If you were a fruit, what would you be?

Bit: (secretly hiding boxes of cookies from Leena) ..(nervously) Well I hope it's something that won't be pounded easily. (eats cookie) .. Not that I didn't do anything wrong...

Leena: .. Right.. Is bachlor #1 still here?

Brad: (walks out as Batman) Sorry, Brad couldn't make it. But I'm going to sit for him. Not that I'm bachelor #1 or anything, I'm just doing my job of being a good citizen to the town and ... (sees Joker) Joker! (runs to the audience and starts beating up Harry)

Jamie: (joins the fight) I won't stand anymore of your punk ass remarks! I'm placing you under arrest!!!

Bit: (drops boxes of cookies by accident) .. IT WASN'T ME!!! I MEAN I WAS GOING TO GIVE YOU THE COOKIES TO YOU. BUT I WAS SO HUNGRY!! I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF!!! I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE!!! (runs backstage and acts like he's jumping off a cliff) aaaaaaaaaaaaa........

Max: ... That was just disturbing... (starts talking when everyone gets back to their seats) So Leena. You figure out who they are?

Leena: Well bachelor #1 is Batman.

Max: That's right!

Leena: Bachelor #2 is some old geezer who hates teenagers.

Max: Close enough.. He's a police officer who thinks you're a prisoner.

Leena: Oh... And bachelor #3 has.. something that belongs to me?

Max: mmmm good enough. (everyone goes back to their seats and everyone applauses) And I give 1000 points to the justice league up in their satellite. And Harry over there gets nothing..

***************************

*Attention*

I need suggestion from you to get this show up and running. What I need from you is:
*Lines for Bit and Leena in Whose line
*What to sing for a Hoedown
*Scenes for Scenes from a Hat
*Scenes for 90 sec Alphabet, Film TV and Theater styles, Newsflash, Superheroes, World's Worst, Questions only, Quick Change, Multi Personalities and Narrate.

If I use your suggestion, then you will be mentioned at the credits part.

Thank you for your cooperation.
Author's note: So what do you think? If I screwed up anything or did anything that you think needs improvement, let me know. Please read and review.

	2. Sound effects/Whose line?

Disclaimer: I don't own Zoids, or Whose line

***************************

Max: Now let's go on to a game called Sound Effects. Jamie and Bit, you're gonna play this.

Jamie: Why do I have to play?

Max: Because you have the best facial expressions when it comes to something bad happening. (hands Bit the mike) Now the scene is that you are getting ready for your prom. Take it away Bit.

Jamie starts sleeping standing up (snoring) and (beep beep beep) wakes up, grabbing a hammer (smash) then gets up and looks at the alarm clock he smashed. He then gets shocked and starts dressing (buttoning noises). Jamie then runs downstairs and goes to his car and starts it up. (vroom) (vroom) Jamie then gets out for a second (vrooooooommm) and gawks (AN: my personal favorite). Jamie then looks back and finds his parents (yelling) He then starts running (icecream music) and goes to the icecream truck (blahblahblah) to knock the daylights out of the icecream guy. He then jumps into his car, throws the ice cream guy out and starts driving. (icecream music) Jamie then turns it off. (boom) The truck stops and Jamie gets out and finds his date. (oops) He then kneels down and lifts her up. (slap) (girl talks) Jamie then starts kissing her on the ground to shut her up. He then picks her off the ground and carries her to the truck. (vroom) (vroom) (icecream music) Jamie then gets a hammer (smash) and gets out of the truck for any damage to the car. When he's at the front of the car, (bump) (vroooom) Jamie gets ran over.

Max: (buzzes) (laughing while the others went back to their seats) And by the way, people. This is one of the many reasons why people get their licenses at 17 up. But anyway, I'll give 2000 points to whoever the hell your date even was. Now let's go onto a game called Whose line. Believe it or not, we have a game called Whose Line... But I don't think anybody cares for now. Bit and Leena, you're going to play this game...

Bit: Why even bother to sit down?

Max: (gives cards) Now you have to do a scene using these cards and you also have to say whatever is over there. And the scene is .... Leena, who is Bit's personal secretary, is about to announce her resignation to him and a desperate Bit tries to pursuade her to stay. So anytime now, you can take it away.

Leena: Hello Mr. Cloud.

Bit: Hey Miss Tauros. What brings you here?

Leena: I loved working here with you and you gave me the best days of my life, but now I believe it's time for me to go.

Bit: What are you trying to say, Leena? It won't be the same without you. If you go, I'll never get the chance to tell you..... [Want to see my Liger Zero?]

Leena: Mr. Cloud!

Bit: Just call me Bit.

Leena: I never knew you felt this way about me. But still, I can't stay here. I need to go outdoors and live my life long dream and before that starts, there would be nothing more pleasurable than to run out to the streets and yell out.... [I love you]

Bit: Oh! So you love someone more than me huh? Well tell me! Who is it!?

Leena: I don't love anyone. I just feel like I have to say that.

Bit: Well, Leena darling, why would you want to live out your life as...

Leena: A pooper scooper.

Bit: As a pooper scooper? Just watch. You won't find anyone else like me.

Leena: That's right! I wanna find someone better than you!

Bit: Leena. No one will be better than me. I remember the times when we had REAL fun, when we played around and at the end of the day, I would say... [ Don't worry. It's suppose to look like that.]

Leena: Well I guess you're right. But that's not going to stop me from being a pooper scooper. My inspiration always came from this one drama, where this one particular couple always mentions something like... [Let's go skydiving!]

Bit: Well if that's true, then you got problems.

Leena: It's a curse I guess.

Bit: But you still have to stay! I always had a dream when you and I were always to be together in the end. That's not really how the dream went, but if there was a lesson to be learned, it would be.. [Screw the Pteras!]

Leena: Woah! Well you convinced me, Bit. I will stay as your personal secretary, but until then, I have something to say after this little chit chat ..... [I never seen anything that big before.]

Max: (buzz)(everyone sits) Oh brother. Anyway, that was so convincing, I'll give all the points Brad will get to the Jamie's Pteras that Bit wanted to screw so bad.

Jamie: What!?

Brad: What!?

Max: Hey! We'll be right back to Whose Line is it Anyway. Right after this break!
***************************

*Attention*

I need suggestion from you to get this show up and running. What I need from you is:
*What to sing for a Hoedown
*Scenes for Scenes from a Hat
*Scenes for 90 sec Alphabet, Film TV and Theater styles, Newsflash, Superheroes, World's Worst, Questions only, Quick Change, Multi Personalities and Narrate.
*And some others that I missed

If I use your suggestion, then you will be mentioned at the credits part.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Author's note: So what do you think? If I screwed up anything or did anything that you think needs improvement, let me know. Please read and review.

	3. Weird Newscasters

Disclaimer: I don't own Zoids, or Whose line

***************************

Max: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter, just like the Zaber Fangs. That's right, they don't matter. They're useless to us! Now let's play a game called Weird Newscasters. (eveyone sets up) This is for all four of you. Jamie, you'll be the anchor of the news program and eveyone else is gonna help you out. Brad, you're the co-anchor. You're a Backdraft member. Leena, you're doing the sports, and you're jumping on a trampoline as if you were in the credits of "The Man Show".

Audience: YAY!

Max: And Bit, you're doing the weather and you're looking for your long lost sister. Won't this be fun? So whenever you hear the music go ahead and start the news, Jamie.
(Music plays)

Jamie: Hello. I'm Entenmann's Little Brownie. And this is the news from the Zoid Battle Commision. It says here that Royal Cup was actually created from a hobo from some time now. So just for the moment, we will give our thanks to Harry Champ, the hobo who still is. Giving in the details is Nancy Cruboporwicks. Nancy?

Brad: (Backdraft member) Damn! How do you put these damn eye things on. (tries to put them on)

Jamie: Hey! You're on TV!

Brad: Oh! (throws them at Leena) The Zoid Battle Commision was lucky that time! If it wasn't for the Liger Zero, we could've taken over the Zoid Battle Commity. But nooooooo. We have to be stuck in jail and I have to be some retarted co-anchor for some stupid news! I'll get you Bit Cloud, and your Liger too! The Backdraft group will come back if it's the last thing in the world. I swear that if I don't defeat you with my special Irvine Command Wolf, I'm gonna-

Jamie: Would you please shut the hell up!?

Brad: oops.. sorry....

Jamie: Now let's go on to the sports with Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Poka Dot Bikini, but we just call her Billy. Billy?

Leena: (on a trampoline) (starts jumping up and down) Whee! I hope no one sees what's under my dress. Now let's see. In sports, the Fuzzy Pandas have finally gotten rid of their nickname reputation by killing the Champs. (jumps up, spreading her legs apart) But just for fun, we still call them the Fuzzy Pandas anyway. Back to you.

Brad: You know.. maybe the Backdraft group going out of business wasn't so bad afterall...

Jamie: Now let's see if there's ever going to be any chance of a better weather, with Husky Higamijigerz. Husky?

Bit: (looking for his long lost sister) ....(looking at a picture) Well, we still have some rainy days up ahead. And ( looks through the audience) I don't think we're ever going to get a sunny day ever again... (looks surprised) Oh my god! (looks at picture and walks up to the audience) (picks up a certain girl up to the stage) My long lost sister! It's been a long time! This just in! We're going to have sunny days throughout your whole lifetime! (hugs sister)

Jamie: This just in. Rumor has it that Bit is really a sailor scout.

Brad: Bit! (runs to him) If you don't want me to kill you, bring your sister to the trampoline.

Bit: Ok. (sister goes with Leena and jumps with her)

Jamie: Well that's the news for now. So now we will end by watching Leena and Bit's sister jumping up and down the trompoline.

Brad: I'm still going to kill you! Bam! (Bit falls dead)

Jamie: Good night cuz I know I'll have one.

(music) (everyone goes back)

Max: Hey you! I think I seen you before. What's your name? ... Serena. Ok. Let's give all of Bit's points to Serena... and her four friends, along with her cats, cousin from out of town and boyfriend... God.. do you really have to mention all of that?

Jamie: (to Serena) (makes phone with his hand and moving his mouth silently) call me!

Max: Not just that, but let's give 100000 points to Leena for giving us the best show of our lives.

Harry: (shouting) Why Leena!? Why!? You could've saved that for me Leena!

Max: Oh brother...

***************************

*Attention*

I need suggestion from you to get this show up and running. What I need from you is:
*Lines
*What to sing for a Hoedown
*Scenes for Scenes from a Hat
*Scenes for 90 sec Alphabet, Film TV and Theater styles, Newsflash, Superheroes, World's Worst, Questions only, Quick Change, Multi Personalities and Narrate.

If I use your suggestion, then you will be mentioned at the credits part. Anyone's who doesn't make it will be considered for a sequel.

Thank you for your cooperation.
Author's note: So what do you think? If I screwed up anything or did anything that you think needs improvement, let me know. Please read and review.

	4. Superheroes

Disclaimer: I don't own Zoids, or Whose line

***************************

Max: Now let's move on to a game called Superheroes. This is for all 4 of you. (sets up) Leena, you're gonna start and then, Bit, Brad and Jamie are gonna join you. And you're gonna start out as an unlikely superhero and you're gonna name anyone else who comes in and etc. Now what I need from the audience is a suggestion for a name of an unlikely superhero.

???: Cookie Monstress!

Max: Cookie Monstress!

Leena: Cookie Monstress!?

Max: That's right, Cookie Monstress! Now there's a crisis in the world. What is it that we're dealing with?

???: Backdraft stole all the cookies!

Max: Backdraft stole all the cookies. Ok. Cookie Monstress. The Backdraft group has stolen all the cookies in the world, what do we do?

Leena: (holding a box of cookies and trying to pick out one) (in cookie monster tone of voice) Cookie Monstress want cookie. Never had cookie since 3 seconds ago. What!? No cookies! And there is crisis! Cookie Monstress turns on screen to see what crisis is. (turns on) Backdraft group take all cookies from world!? Cookie Monstress now mad!

Bit: (Comes in) For once in your life! Can you please shut up! I was about to finally get some sleep!

Leena: Thank god you're here..... Human Punching Bag Boy! (punches Bit)

Bit: Ow! What do you mean? And what did you do THAT for?

Leena: Backdraft group take all cookies from world. (punch)

Bit: Ow! Well anyone knows that. You're so loud that even the guys from Earth could here you.

Leena: No time for argue! Me want Cookie! (punch)

Brad: (comes in) Sorry I'm late.

Bit: Who the hell invited you .... Santa Clause Man?

Brad: (looks at camera for a second and punches Bit)

Bit: Ow!

Brad: HO HO HO! I'm going to make sure that you get a cold hard lump of coal this Christmas! You've been a naughty boy! (punch)

Bit: Ow!

Leena: Me want cookie now! (punch)

Bit: Ow!

Brad: What!? No cookies!? (punch)

Bit: Ow!

Leena: Backdraft stole all cookies! (punch)

Bit: Ow!

Brad: No ho ho! What do we do now? (punch)

Bit: Ow!

Jamie: (comes in) Why don't you shut up? Everyone can hear you! (punch)

Bit: Ow!

Brad: Thank God you're here ...... Play Dough Face Man! (starts molding Jamie's face and puches Bit)

Bit: Ow!

Jamie: Stop! You don't know how long it took me to make this beautiful face! (Punches Bit)

Bit: Ow!

Leena: Play Dough Face Man look ugly now! (punch)

Bit: Ow!

Jamie: No! (punch)

Bit: Ow!

Brad: HO HO HO! You're so ugly that the Backdraft group would give you all the cookies in the world just to never see your face again! (punch)

Bit: Ow!

Jamie: You're right! (punch)

Bit: Ow!

Leena: Use paper bag first! (punch)

Bit: Ow!

Jamie: I'll save the world with my ugly face! I must go now! ( punch and leaves)

Bit: Ow!

Brad: HO HO HO! I have to go now also! (punch) I have to check my Christmas list. (punches and leaves)

Bit: That's it! I'm going to take karate lessons! No one's going to push me around anymore!

Leena: (punch)

Bit: Ow! Now I gotta go get some rest..... (leaves)

Leena: ..... Cookie Monstress still want cookie!

Max: (buzz) Thank you! (everyone sits down) That was so good, I'll give all the points to the Nabisco Company.

***************************

*Attention*

I need suggestion from you to get this show up and running. What I need from you is:
*Lines
*What to sing for a Hoedown
*Scenes for Scenes from a Hat
*Scenes for 90 sec Alphabet, Film TV and Theater styles, Newsflash, Superheroes, World's Worst, Questions only, Quick Change, Weird Newscasters, Multi Personalities, Narrate and any other game.

If I use your suggestion, then you will be mentioned at the credits part. Anyone's who doesn't make it will be considered for a sequel.

Thank you for your cooperation.
Author's note: So what do you think? If I screwed up anything or did anything that you think needs improvement, let me know. Please read and review.

	5. Song Styles

Disclaimer: I don't own Zoids, or Whose line

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Max: Now let's move on to a game called Song Styles, this time, I'm gonna drag all four of you in.

Bit: You know, ever since the fic started, I never got a chance to sit.

Max: And boy do I feel sorry for you. (everyone sets up) Laura Hall couldn't make it so we replaced her with Pogi! (Pogi waves) And since the others aren't here, we replaced them with any other OC we ever invented so far. The sad part is we only have three. So let's give it up for Craig Anderson and Anne Hart.

Craig: Hey, FF.N!

Anne: Hey, Max!

Bit: YAY!ANNE'S HERE!!!

Leena: (punch)

Bit: Ow!

Max: Oh yeah! And by the way, don't forget to vote who you want to win on Zoids / Zero : Revenge. It's either the Blitz team or the Alpha team. And depending on who you vote for, you get a different ending.

Bit: Trying to be cheap and advertise your story on this, huh?

Max: Yes I am.

Leena: Keep in mind that most of them want us to win!

Max: Well keep in mind that some already voted for me. But anyway, if you do, I promise to maybe shorten the fic in any way possible.

Bit: (coughs) Bull (cough)

Max: And people, if you like action, you can at least check the No Future part of the fic! Especially my fight with Bit.

Bit: We're gonna win!

Max: Yeah right! Now to get someone from the audience.

Harry: Hey! This is cruelty to me! All five of you are making fun of me ever since the start of the fic!

Max: (idea) Gee. I'm sorry. And to make that up (brings Harry to the stool) You will be the volunteer. And don't tell because we all know that your occupation is an asshole.

Harry: WHAT!!!?

Max: This game is also in a MAXINDPOGSTER twist. That means that we get to change the game in whatever we want. Aint that right Pogi?

Pogi: Uh huh.

Max: Now anyway, you're going to sing in the tune of YMCA but in a Harry bashing motivation twist along with advertising to make people read How to kill Harry Champ fics. So whenever you're ready, get down and funky!
(music starts)

(Brad)
Harry, no one likes you, you know, I said
Harry, we say you gotta go, I said
Harry, 'cause we think that you blow
There's no need to be with Leena

(Jamie)
Harry, we all think that you suck, I said
Harry, you can't get a good (censor)
We should kill you, and hope you go to hell
Now does that ring anyone's bell

(Bit and others in background)
When it comes to Harry we should KILL
When it comes to Harry we should KILL
We should get some ideas, let's read Kill Harry fics
I'm sure we will get many kicks
When it comes to Harry we should KILL
When it comes to Harry we should KILL
Let's blast him with a grenade, let's stab him with some knives
Let's hope that he stays out of our lives

(Leena)
Harry, are you listening to me? I said
Harry, what will your sweet death be? I said
Harry, we even hate Mary
But you got to know this one thing

No man likes you being around, I said
Harry, nobody likes your sound
There's a thing that, we call KILL
I'm sure that can help us today

(Bit and others in background)
When it comes to Harry we should KILL
When it comes to Harry we should KILL
We should get some ideas, let's read Kill Harry fics
I'm sure we will get many kicks
When it comes to Harry we should KILL
When it comes to Harry we should KILL
Let's blast him with a grenade, let's stab him with some knives
Let's hope that he stays out of our lives

(Bit)
Harry, I was never like that, I said
I was ex-te-reme-e-ly phat
We should take you out of your precious days
And there's nine thousand ninty ways

That's when someone came up to me and said
Bit Cloud, you should read my story
It's called Ways to go and Kill Harry Champ
And that's why that I have my lamp

(with others in background)
When it comes to Harry we should KILL
When it comes to Harry we should KILL
We should get some ideas, let's read Kill Harry fics
I'm sure we will get many kicks
KILL, when it comes to Harry we should KILL
Harry, Harry, Leena has got a gun
Harry, Harry, we'll blast you to the sun
KILL, when it comes to Harry we should KILL
Harry, Harry, I was never like that
Harry, Harry, I was extemely phat

(everybody)
KILL
(audience goes wild while Harry sits there, with his mouth open and his brain in another world)

Max: (laughing his ass off while everyone sits back down) And to think I was gonna put this on the parody collection!... (starts thinking)

Bit: Hey, Max! How about some points?

Max: Oh yeah! All the points you want is whatever you get! Oh yeah! And I hope all you people at home learn today's lesson. Start reading! Until then, we'll be back with more Whose line is it Anyway? right after this short break.

***************************

*Attention*

I need suggestion from you to get this show up and running. What I need from you is:
*Lines
*What to sing for a Hoedown
*Scenes for Scenes from a Hat
*Scenes for 90 sec Alphabet, Film TV and Theater styles, Newsflash, Superheroes, World's Worst, Questions only, Quick Change, Weird Newscasters, Multi Personalities, Narrate and any other game.

If I use your suggestion, then you will be mentioned at the credits part. Anyone's who doesn't make it will be considered for a sequel.

Thank you for your cooperation.
Author's note: So what do you think? If I screwed up anything or did anything that you think needs improvement, let me know. Please read and review.

	6. Film, TV and Theater Styles

Disclaimer: I don't own Zoids, or Whose line

***************************

Max: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway. You know, I could've sworn the title of the fic also had "The Zoids Special" attatched to it. Oh well, anyway, the points don't matter...

Bit: Just like the other words attatched to your title.

Max: Well I guess this isn't a special anymore, so we're probably gonna have another fic like this in the nearby future made by me. Oh and by the way, I also wanna give special recognition to Hockykid45. Right now, he made his own Whose line fic and let's all hope that this turns out to be something worthwhile. But until then, let's go onto a game called Film TV and Theater Styles. This is for Bit-

Bit: AGAIN!!?

Max: Leena and Jamie. They're gonna act out a scene. But I'm gonna make them adapt different styles and what I need from the audience is some styles of TV or theater that you like. (people start yelling out stuff) Comedy.. (to whoever said that) This is a Zoids Parody of whose line and you still say comedy. What's the irony of that? .... Talk show... WWE..... Spider Man..... Ninja Turtles ..... Soap Opera .... Sailor Moon.. DBZ ..... Tenchi Muyo ... Zoids... Zoids?

???: Classic Zoids!

Max: Classic Zoids!

???: Porno!

Max: And porno.

Leena: Who didn't see that coming?

Bit: (gives thumbs up to Leon in the audience)

Max: Ok now shut up! Now you'll start off with a scene normally or whatever you think is normal.

Leena: Having grey eyes isn't exactly normal now is it Max?

Max: I'll deal with you after the show. Anyway, after the scene starts, I'm gonna buzz you and you come in with different styles. Now the scene is.... Leena is going to get a sex change and is going to go see the doctors, Bit and Jamie.

Leena: WHAT!!!???

Max: I told you I'll get you back. Now get going!

Bit: (doing surgary on someone) And I finally killed Harry!!!

Harry: (still in the position like from last round)

Jamie: Yes! It's a succes!! We'll be famous!!

Leena: Hey! I'm here for my sex change..

Max: (buzz) Tenchi Muyo.

Bit: (looks at Leena and starts hugging her) Why do you want a sex change, Miss? Don't you wanna go out on a date with me?

Leena: I don't really wanna..

Jamie: You stay away from Lord-essy... Whatever her name is. All I know is that she's from the Royal Zi family! (grabs one of Leena's arms)

Bit: (grabs Leena's other arm) She's my patient! Go get your own!

Leena: DOCTORS, STOP IT!!!

(Bit and Jamie look at each other *electricity*)

Max: (buzz) Oh.. brother (laughing) Talk show.

Jamie: (up to camera) Now why don't you want the patient to get a sex change?

Bit: Well, cuz she's my property and none of you can have her!

Leena: You be quiet! I'm a person! Not your property! And I deserve my respect you ass!

audience: JAMIE! JAMIE! JAMIE!

Max: (buzz) WWE.

Bit: What?

Leena: I-

Bit: What?

Leena: I-

Bit: You want a sex change!

audience: What?

Bit: You wanna be a man!

audience: What?

Bit: You're too good to be a woman?

audience: What?

Jamie: (starts singing Kurt Angle's theme while walking up to Leena and Bit)

audience: (with the music) YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!

Jamie: (stops singing) I am your olympic hero and I say that this girl should get a sex change!

audience: WHAT?

Bit: If you want this Jackass to shut the hell up, give me a hell yeah!

audience: Hell yeah!

Max: (buzz) Why didn't I pick that last? Anyway, Spider Man!

Jamie: My spider senses are tingling!

Leena: Help me!!

Jamie: I'll save you! (web slings at Bit)

Bit: Ahh!

Max: (buzz) Ninja Turtles.

Jamie: Take that Shred Head!

Leena: Cowabunga!

Bit: No! (falls to the ground)

Jamie: Come on dude! Let's go get some gnarly pizza!

Leena: Right on!

Max: (buzz) No way I'm gonna end this. Soap opera.

Leena: How could you kill your own half uncle's brother's cousin's great great grandmother?

Jamie: It was no use. He couldn't have anymore kids. And it was I who wanted to do surgery on you, darling.

Leena: I'm sorry, but I'm not really the person you think I am...

Max: (buzz) That was just pathetic. Classic Zoids.

Leena: (turns the other way) Van!

Bit: (gets up) I'm not Van. Now I'm gonna kill you like I promised a long time ago, assistant.

Jamie: You don't even know my name and you're going to kill me? Zeke!...

Bit: Ha! Now I'm gonna finish the job! Shadow!!!!......

Leena: Can I have some salt please?

Max: (buzz) Sailor moon.

Bit: (does Sailor Moon transformation with Leena and Jamie)

Jamie: I will punish you!

Bit: That' s my line!

Max: (buzz) DBZ.

Bit: AND NOW YOU WILL SEE THE POWER OF A SUPER SAIYAN!!! (turns into a super saiyan)

Jamie: Well I'm past Super Saiyan. (turns into a super saiyan)

Leena: Oh no! (gets pushed back by their energy)

(Bit and Jamie start fighting and blasting away)

Bit: KA....... ME......... HA............ME.........

Max: (buzz) Too slow. New Century / 0.

Jamie: (in a mocking tone of voice) My name's Harry Champ. I'm a man destined to be king.

Bit: HA! (blows away Jamie) Now you don't have to go throught the sex change.

Max: (buzz) Porno!

(Bit tackles Leena down and starts making out with her)

Max: (buzzes over a thousand times) I don't think we're gonna go anywhere for a while, so we're gonna take a break right after this. Don't go anywhere.

***************************

*Attention*

I need suggestion from you to get this show up and running. What I need from you is:
*Lines
*What to sing for a Hoedown
*Scenes for Scenes from a Hat
*Scenes for 90 sec Alphabet, Film TV and Theater styles, Newsflash, Superheroes, World's Worst, Questions only, Quick Change, Weird Newscasters, Multi Personalities, Narrate and any other game.

If I use your suggestion, then you will be mentioned at the credits part. Anyone's who doesn't make it will be considered for a sequel.

Thank you for your cooperation.
Author's note: So what do you think? If I screwed up anything or did anything that you think needs improvement, let me know. Please read and review.

	7. Moving People/Props

Disclaimer: I don't own Zoids, or Whose line

***************************

Max: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway. The show were everything's made up and the points don't matter. Yep, that's right. They're useless, just like Hiltz's Ambient or any of the Zoids they use and end up destroying, they don't mean a thing. If any of you seen the last game, we had to stop Bit and Leena from giving us a free porno.

Bit: (gives thumbs up to Leon)

Max: Well in that case, Bit finally gets to sit out on this game.

Bit:YES!

Max: We are going to play Moving People. This game is for Brad and Jamie. (they walk to the stage) And now to get some audience members. Hey! I already found some. (walks to audiece) So who are you?

???: Naomi.

Max: And who's the one next to you?

???: Pierce.

Max: To be honest, I knew you all along now get down there and pick the person you want and place them in any position you want. (Naomi puts Brad's hands on his waist in a shape of a fist while Pierce makes Jamie kneel down and puts his hands together on front of his face) Right... Well the scene is that you are at a bar room fight.

Jamie: Please God. I hope nobody gets hurt, especially me and my Pteras and my-

Brad: Quit your whining and get up! Besides, nobody liked your Pteras so I blasted it because I'm a superhero!

Jamie: I'll scream when I stop praying. (Pierce picks him up and points one hand to Brad) AHHHHH!!! Why'd you do that to my Pteras!? I'm gonna beat you up with my Bear Claw style of martial arts.

Brad: Ha! You can't beat me up! Why do you think I'm not doing anything to defend myself?

Jamie: Just watch! I'm gonna get you just as soon as I walk up to you! (Pierce grabs on of Jamie's legs) And I won't start with the leg that's keeping my balance. (Pierce grabs other leg and makes Jamie walk) Ha Ha! Now I'm going somewhere.

Brad: Now would be a good time to be in a defensive position. (Naomi forms his arms to an x on his chest)

Jamie: I'm coming for you and now I'm gonna form a fist. (Pierce gets up and closes Jamie's hand)

Brad: You can't hit me. You'll hurt your hand.

Jamie: Not if I literally kick your ass! (Pierce makes him walk around Brad)

Brad: I guess I should turn around. (Naomi lifts Brad's leg and turns him around) Now if my other leg can face the same direction, then maybe I won't suffer from a sprained ankle. (Naomi does that)

Jamie: I'm still gonna get you. (Pierce still makes him walk around Brad)

Brad: Guess I'm gonna have to turn around until you stop chasing me. (Naomi keeps on doing what she's doing)

Jamie: You can run but you can't hide!

Brad: Well, I can throw up on your shoes if I keep on doing this. Stopping would be of much help to me. (Naomi stops) We can't go on like this. It looks retarted.

Jamie: I guess so. (Pierce stops the walking and make him face Brad) (Pierce then grabs Jamie's leg and kicks Brad in the (censored))

Brad: Ow! Hey! I got kicked and I didn't have any reaction. What's up with that? (Naomi grabs Brad's hand and punches Jamie)

Jamie: Well it looks like I didn't have anything happen to me also. We seem to be even.

Brad: Why don't we call it a draw?

Jamie: Okay. (Pierce grabs Jamie's hand and tries to grab Brad's)

Brad: Put her there. (Naomi does the same and they both badly miss)

Jamie: I guess I should practice on that.

Max: (buzz) Let's just get the move on before anything more pathetic happens. (everyone sits down) I'll give 503 points to anyone who wants Pierce and Naomi in the next show. Now let's go on to a game called Props. This is for all four of you and here (throw 2 giant Q tips at Brad and Jamie) and this one's for you (throws 2 giant cardboard tubes at Bit and Leena). Do whatever you want with them, even if they ARE sick minded. In this game, everyone gets to do a scene every turn. So take it away Bit and Leena.

(Bit looks through one tube like a telescope)
Leena: We're never gonnna get off this island, are we, Gilligan?

(Jamie and Brad hold the tubes in their hands)
Jamie: You just had to bring the super sized Q tips, didn't you?

(Bit puts one tube on one sholder each)
Bit: Hybrid Cannon!

(Jamie and Brad start using the Q tips as weapons as if they were on Gladiators)

(Leena stands one tube up and uses it as a strip pole)

(Jamie and Brad point the Q tips at the audience and place it in front of their wastes)
Brad: Did you see what Leena was doing a few seconds ago?

(Leena talks into one end of the tube)
Leena: Ricola! (box falls out of tube) Hey I found something!

(Jamie "stabs" Brad with his Q tip)
Jamie: That's for the death of my father!

(Bit points the tube at the audience and places it in front of his stomach while Leena holds the box in her hands)
Leena: So THAT's what you meant by being an outie.

(Brad and Jamie go down on the floor so you can't see them and hold up one Q tip)
Brad: (as Benjamin) If I could only see my judge.

(Bit sticks out both tubes at the audience and places them on his chest)
Bit: What kind of surgery is THIS!?? I'm gonna sue!

Leena: (opens box and a smile comes on her face) COOKIES!!!

(Jamie holds the Q tips in each hand and holds them upstraight on front of him)
Jamie: But I was framed!

(Bit and Leena are fighting over the cookies)

(Brad gets both Q tips and makes them look like Leena's head thing)
Brad: Hi. I'm Leena and I like cookies. (buzz) and cupcakes (buzz) and doughnuts (buzz) and I think Max should stop buzzing because it's still my turn.

(Bit and Leena are whacking eachother with the tubes for the cookies)

Max: (buzz) ... (throws some cards in his hands away) Why do I even bother?.... No points for the dick who stashed my cookies in their prop.

***************************

*Attention*

I need suggestion from you to get this show up and running. What I need from you is:
*Lines
*What to sing for a Hoedown
*Scenes for Scenes from a Hat
*Scenes for 90 sec Alphabet, Film TV and Theater styles, Newsflash, Superheroes, World's Worst, Questions only, Quick Change, Weird Newscasters, Multi Personalities, Narrate and any other game.

If I use your suggestion, then you will be mentioned at the credits part. Anyone's who doesn't make it will be considered for a sequel.

Thank you for your cooperation.
Author's note: So what do you think? If I screwed up anything or did anything that you think needs improvement, let me know. Please review.

	8. Party Quirks

Disclaimer: I don't own Zoids, or Whose line

***************************

Max: Now, let's go onto a game called "Party Quirks". Leena, you're hosting a party. Brad, Jamie and Bit will be your guest and each of them have a strange quirk or identity (everyone's reading cards) Leena has to guess what the quirks are also. So everyone line up there (everyone sets up) and I'll bring you one at a time with the doorbell. (dingdong) And whenever you're ready, start the party, Leena.

Leena: (talking on the phone) Yeah I know. It's just getting too old and everything's just the same.... Not only that, but Pogi over at the piano started on a Fuzzy Pandas fic. Well at least he thought up something creative!

Max:(doorbell)

Leena: (Opens door)

Brad: (accidentaly stepped on Dr. Layon's noodles a few minutes ago) (runs from the door and hides behind Leena)

Leena: What are you doing?

Brad: I did something bad. And he's after me!!!

Leena: Why don't you use the Shadowfox?

Brad: I would, but I'm afraid he'll be there. I'll just hide here. (hides in the audience and tried to disguise himself)

Max: (doorbell)

Leena: I'm so glad I invited you. (opens door) Hi Jamie.

Jamie: (the worst B/L,Harry bashing fic ever) (as Bit) Hi. Thanks for inviting me. (as Leena) I love you! It's your fault! (as Harry) Hey. Remember, you make sure they don't get together and I'll make sure you get your money, because I'm evil! (as Leena) What? I can't believe you! I hate you! Kinda think of it, I've always hated you and I always knew that I loved Bit even more that I hate you. (as Liger Zero) Roar. (pounces on "Harry" and beats him up)

Max: (doorbell) I should have you to this house more often. (opens door)

Bit: (Zoids New Century/ Zero in 30 seconds) Vrooooooom. My truck! (looks at the ceiling) If only you had a partner. We won! My Liger's not a waste of space. (picks up quarter and "accidentally" hits Leena) So what you're saying is you're in love with me huh? (grrs at "Backdraft official and steals Pteras). Nobody's fast, so I made you go in Cannon Tortoises. I'm going to get out of retirement. (imitates Elephander) I don't know what you are anymore, Brad. I'm your savior!

Brad: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Leena: Hey Bit, have you met Brad, he's afraid of Dr. Layon.

Max: What did he do to make him mad?

Leena: He called him Dr. Laden?

Max: Guess again.

Brad: And they were so tasty!

Leena: He ruined Dr. Layon's noodles.

Max:(buzz) That's right.

Jamie: (as Bit doing "things with "Leena") (as Harry) I love you Leena! I'm going into that room! (as Liger) (holds him back) (as Bit) (shoots Harry with a gun that came from nowhere) (as Harry) Nooooooo!!!!!

Leena: This is the sorriest thing I've ever seen.

Bit: Oh my god you look so adorable! We can predict anyone's move in a fraction of a second. AHHHH I don't know what you're talking about!

Jamie: (to camera) And that's the end, what do you think. Please read and review (laughs evily)

Leena: What was the worst fic ever.

Max: (buzz)

Bit: (bites Leena's shoulder) It's Stoller. I told you, my name's not Jamie! Little lady? The Chainsaw man! You mother looked alot like you. You're inexperienced. This is the ultimate Zoid! I'm getting too old for this. If I could only see my judge. It's the quest for unlimited potential. How about a ride fox? NOBODY STANDS ME UP ON A DATE AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!!! Cease operation! Do your thing Berserk Fury (laughs like Vega) Ready Fight! Let's be partners next year. Aiii... the winner is the Blitz team. We can do it Liger!!!! We'll get you next time King. Courage, bravery and a sense of justice. We should take a vacation. (faints to the ground)

Leena: Sorry, I just wanted to watch the reinactment of Zoids/0.

Max: (buzz) That's right. (everyone sits down) 1000 points to Bit for filling me in on what I missed.

***************************

*Attention*

I need suggestion from you to get this show up and running. What I need from you is:
*Lines
*What to sing for a Hoedown
*Scenes for Scenes from a Hat
*Scenes for 90 sec Alphabet, Film TV and Theater styles, Newsflash, Superheroes, World's Worst, Questions only, Quick Change, Weird Newscasters, Multi Personalities, Narrate and any other game.

If I use your suggestion, then you will be mentioned at the credits part. Anyone's who doesn't make it will be considered for a sequel.

Thank you for your cooperation.
Author's note: So what do you think? If I screwed up anything or did anything that you think needs improvement, let me know. Please review.

	9. 90 Second Alphabet

Disclaimer: I don't own Zoids, or Whose line

***************************

Max: Well now let's play a game called 90 second alphabet. It's for Brad Bit and Leena. In this game, you have to say a sentence and the other have to say another sentence starting with the next letter of the alphabet. So what letter should we start with?

???: K!

Max: K! Well anyway, the scene is that the animals from the pet cemetary come to life and a couple, Bit and Leena, try to get help from a blind cemetery keeper, who is Brad.

Bit: ...Kangaroo? In a pet cemetary?

Leena: Let's go before we get eaten alive by these zombies! I wanna go home!

Brad: (closing his eyes) Make my sandwitch, whoever the hell you are!

Bit: Nevermind the sandwitch! We need help!

Leena: Oh my god! They're coming this way! Help us!

Brad: Please! I just used the little blind man's room and now you want me to do this?

Bit: (looks past Brad) ...Queer... very very queer to use the fountain as a toilet...

Leena: Right now, we gotta get out of here or else we're doomed!

Brad: Stupid! This is a cemetary. Everyone's dead and you think that the pets are Zombies? And I thought I was blind.

Bit: Tomorrow, if we survive, I swear I'm gonna sue your blind ass!

Leena: (points to the floor) Under there! We can hide under there!

Brad: Vat are you talking about?

Bit: What? Now you think you're Count Dracula?

Leena: X rated movies should have something more interesting nowadays like me.

Brad: You're talking nonsense! Just like that other guy who's with you.

Bit: (to camera) Zoids / Zero : Revenge has a sequal. It's called Zoids / Zero : Return of the Backdraft Group. Please read and review. (Max gives a bow to the audience)

Leena: (points to audience) Antelope! It's coming this way!

Brad: But there is no antelope in the cemetary.

Bit: (points to audience) Cat.

Leena: Dog.

Brad: Elephant! I always wanted to say that!

Bit: .....(censor) you! Elephants don't mean a damn thing!

Leena: (looks around) Great! Now we're surrounded with zombies!

Brad: (waves) Hello everybody!

Bit: I better start writing my will.

Leena: Just shut up. If it weren't for him, we could've live at least longer.

Brad: .. Kangaroo.

Max: (buzz) (everyone sits) All of your points go to the kangaroo for that round.

***************************

*Attention*

I need suggestion from you to get this show up and running. What I need from you is:
*Lines
*What to sing for a Hoedown
*Scenes for Scenes from a Hat
*Scenes for 90 sec Alphabet, Film TV and Theater styles, Newsflash, Superheroes, World's Worst, Questions only, Quick Change, Weird Newscasters, Multi Personalities, Narrate and any other game.

If I use your suggestion, then you will be mentioned at the credits part. Anyone's who doesn't make it will be considered for a sequel.

Thank you for your cooperation.
Author's note: So what do you think? If I screwed up anything or did anything that you think needs improvement, let me know. Please review.

	10. Scenes from a Hat

Disclaimer: I don't own Zoids, or Whose line

To anyone who's been badly waiting:
Sorry I haven't updated in a while... a long while. If you should know, I've been busy with other fics (see Return of the Backdraft Group) and school got in the way. I'm only going to do either 2 or 3 more games. So here we go.

***************************

Max: (sniff) (wipes his eyes and starts laughing histerically) I'm sorry folks, the author sounded funny at that point.

Bit: How can you hear him? This is a fic.

Max: Does it matter? Well anyway, I'm not going to be in the other fic for a while, so lets do what everyone's been waiting for (pulls out Ambient's head) Scenes from a Hat.

Hiltz: (from a distance) NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Max: (look at Ambient's head and quickly switches it with a top hat) Scenes from a Hat. (everyone comes down) You see, during the fic, lots and lots of people sent in suggstions for things and we took most of them because the majority for some where just... Let's just start. (pulls out paper) What the performers are thinking right now.

Bit: What the hell took the author so long updating?

Leena: I really got to go on a diet...

Brad: For the last time: If I was an I/M, I would'nt be ALL white, now would I?

Bit: If I got a nickel for every B/L fic on FF.N, I'd be richer than Bill Gates..

Jamie: .. Who the hell is Hiltz?

Bit: I find Naomi to have one sweet ass.. (drools thinking about it)

Leena: No lovin for Bit tonight.

Bit: (goes on his knees) NOOOOOOOO!!!

Max: (laughs at Bit misfortune) Rejected endings for Zoids.

Brad: Which?

Max: .. All 3 seasons.

Brad: (as Hiltz in the Death Saurer) AND NOW I'M GOING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND I'M GOING TO DESTROY EVERONE AND ANYONE AND .... I don't feel like doing this anymore. I wonder where Ambient is? (walks off)

Bit: (being Van/ Blade Liger) Bring it on Hiltz! (crashes into Leena)

Brad: Oh my God! You crashed Zoid Eve!

Jamie: You bastard!

Bit: (puts his registration thingie in)... (shocked) Haha.. I tricked you.. This isn't the finish line? (throws a tantrum)

Brad: (as Irvine) I think Van and Fiona left and went for find the Zoid Eve. (Bit and Leena make love in the background) I really hope they get Zoid Eve.

Bit: Come on Liger! I know you can do it!

Jamie: (As Vega) Grrr.. Shadow!!!

Brad: (Runs into Jamie, knocking them into Leena)

Max: (chuckles) Oh my God... Unlikely books at the Library they won't let you read.

Jamie: (picks out book) How Vega is the greatest lover in the world... (runs away screaming)

Leena: (reads book) Ambient and Cookies: A good combination...

Brad: (picks out book) How to wear wierd little head things?

Bit: The forbidden book of the million ways to kill (insert your character)..

Jamie: The X Rated Adventures of Reese... (grabs the book and heads to the nearest bathroom)

Bit: Dr. D and Me: A True Love Story? (screams like a girl)

Brad: Why Brad is Cooler than Irvine. (intersted look on his face)

Leena: (picks out book and blows away the dust) Hiltzism: The NEW Satanic Religion.

Max: Ways for Jamie as a baby to be the Wild Eagle.

Bit: (picks up baby) And here's the balcony in our 1000 story tall building. You wanna see the streets? (lifts him over the balcony and over the streets)

Leena: Oh Jamie, time for breast feeding.

(Bit has a jealous look on his face)

Brad: (shows a book to everyone) I bought your favorite book. The X Rated Adventures of Reese.

Max: Right... What happened to Pierce?

Leena: (acts like a Stripper in front of Bit and Brad)

Bit: I'm glad we came to that agreement, huh, Sanders?

Brad: Sure thing, Stigma.

Bit: (badly beats him to the ground) You call me sir, Sanders! Sir! (stomps on him relentlessly)

Leena: Hi! I'm Pierce for Perky's Anonamous.

Max: Messages that were delivered a little too late.

Bit: (runs around jumping) Maxindpogster finally updated! Maxindpogster finally updated!

Max: Movies that wouldn't make the top 10 list.

Jamie: And I'm going to make a movie called the X Rated Adventures of Reese.

Brad: (looks at the sign) "If Raven Ruled the World" Coming to theaters soon..

Leena: (as movie trailer announcer) Punching Bag boy. In theaters this weekend.

Max: Rejected ideas for TV shows.

Jamie: (runs out all excited) Are you ready kids!?

Audience: Aye Aye Capitan!

Jamie: Here it is! The X Rated Adventures of Reese!

Bit: Ok! Everyone together now. (sings) When it comes to Harry we should K-I-L-L!

Brad: (with his hands being Leena's head thing) And I like cupcakes, a pankackes and syrup. MMMMMMM. (buzz) I looooovvvvessssss syrup! (buzz) It's my #1 fetish! (BUZZZZZZZZZZZ)

Leena: Making cookies, With Leena and Ambient's head.

Hiltz: (from distance) NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Max: Things a judge would never say.

Bit: .... (clears his throat and reads a paper and prays to God) .. Raven Sucks! (audience starts throwing tomatoes and rotten fruit at him as he run to the backstage)

Max: What you won't hear from the ZBC.

Bit: So what happened, Chief?

Jamie: About that dead body up in the mountains? I knocked that baby up so hard, it wasn't funny. No seriously, it broke to pieces. So let me give you hardcore detail! (BUZZ)

Max: Honestly, I kinda liked the whole X Rated Adventures of Reese thing. What the Blitz team do on their day off.

(All 4 sit on the stair)

Bit: (on the phone) Ok, Cartoon Network. And since you're goign to make this special, call it The Final Four! (audience goes wild)

Max: What Zoid warriors are REALLY thinking while they're in combat.

Leena: Is it me, or does Jamie really have something for that book?

Bit: If I can do all the girls in all 3 seasons at the same time.... (drools thinking about it)

Brad: .. You know. The name Fuzzy Pandas isn't that bad..

Jamie: If you fuse and Organoid into and Ultimate X, what would happen.. Oh (bleep) I lost!

Max: Stupid things to say to a judge.

Bit: (clears his throat and reads a paper and prays to God) .. Raven Sucks! (audience starts throwing tomatoes and rotten fruit at him as he run to the backstage)

Leena: You know, I heard you judges never had any in a while. (winks)

Max: Unimpressive Zoid names.

Bit: I thought of new names for all you Liger fans in the next upcoming interactive fics! (rolls out a giant list of Liger names) So here's the (BUZZ)

Max: How NOT to fly and arial Zoid during battle.

Bit: (sings) When it comes to Harry, we should K-I-L-L!

Jamie: (While flying the Zoid, he plays baseball)

Max: ... (sweatdrop) Things you shouldn't do with jello.

All4: (stuffs jello in their pants and start dancing and spasming)

Max: What Jack Sisco does on his spare time.

Brad: (pulling off his headband) This thing's gotta come off one day!

Max: (laughing) What Tauros really does with his models.

Jamie: Ok! Ok! It's time to tell you the story of (shows book) The X Rated Adventures of Reese!

Bit: (makes them dance) When it comes to Harry we should K-I-L-L!

Leena: Thank goodness you made it Punching Bag boy. (everyone runs to Bit and punches him violently)

Max: What goes on at the Lightning Team's base after battles.

Brad: (still pulling off his headband) Can someone help me!? (Leena and Bit try to pull it off)

Max: What goes on at the Zaber team's base after battles.

Bit: What the hell?! Now you mock us by saying we have a base!? Screw you! (gives the finger and leaves)

Max: (laughs) Things the Backdraft group do in their free time.

Brad: (STILL pulling off his headband with the other helping) It STILL won't come off!!

Max: Stuff you never want to walk in on.

Bit: .. (opens door) HARRY!!!

Brad: (walks in) Oh... Oh! THAT's what they meant by "Riding the Stinger"!

Max: What Leena's thinking about.

Bit: (whistles) Woo man. Did you see Bit? He is soooo sexy. I mean no one can compare with him. And he has the Liger Zero, meaning that he's the coolest person in the world. Yeah I know, everyone wants to be like and all the girls want to do him because of his body glimpse that we got to see in that one episode of Zoids that we say that has him and the Liger Zero being equipped with the third armor: The Panzer unit against Stigma Stoller and the Elephander, which nobody likes. And I figured that nobody likes it because everyone like's Bit's Liger Zero WAY better! (BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)
(gets beaten up violently by ALL the Harry fans and Harry Champ himself)

Harry: Who we gonna kill now!? Who we gonna kill now! What! (all Harry fans go wild as Harry walks off stage with the Harry fans as The Rock's theme song plays)

Max: .. What the hell happened?... Well I guess that's what happens when you bash a person for long enough throughout a fic. Reasons why some Zoid teams will never make it to class S

Brad: (moves over Bit's unconsious carcass off stage) I'm Irvine... And you must be a real asshole if you're still wondering why I'm not in Class S.

Max: Books by anime characters that will never hit the bestseller list.

Leena: Hey look. It's the X rated- (gets whacked in the head unconciouse with the book she was about to say by Jamie)

Jamie: Not THAT book! It's the #1 seller!

Raven: (in the audience) Hell yeah!

Brad: Oh my god! You bashed Leena!

Jamie: .. (sweatdrop) .. We needed alittle Leena bashing once in a while.

Max: There's always a first anyway... What would happen if Zoids: New Century/ 0 met Pokemon.

Jamie: (as Bit and Liger Zero) Strike Laser Claw!

Brad: (as Mewtwo)(raises his hands forward and explodes the Liger) (as Pikachu) Pika (sneezes)

Jamie: (flies off) Looks like I'm blasting off!

Brad: (as Ash) You did it Pikachu! And it's all because of friendship!

Max: Things you would say that would be censored out by a machine.

Jamie: I always dreamed of (bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep). Don't you?

Max: What's inside Leena's cookie jar other than cookies.

Brad: (looks in jar and pulls out something) Ambient's head?

Hiltz: (from distance) NOOOOOOOOO!!!

Max: Pairings in Zoids that just seem to die out in a week.

Jamie: I was thinking of making Vega/Leena Lemon. (B/L fans get disguisted) You see in this fic. Vega's going to have a 39 1/2 foot (BUZZ) Hey! They have Raven/Fiona! So why can't I do the same thing!? You're all cruel! (runs backstage crying)

Brad: ... No offense, Max. But it can't be Whose line with one person.

Max: You mean he actually meant that?.. Oh well, we're going to find out who the winner is, after this break.

***************************

Author's note: So what do you think? If I screwed up anything or did anything that you think needs improvement, let me know. Please review.

	11. Irish Drinking Song

Disclaimer: I don't own Zoids, or Whose line

To anyone who's been badly waiting:
Sorry I haven't updated in a while... a long while. If you should know, I've been busy with other fics (see Return of the Backdraft Group) and school got in the way. I'm only going to do either 2 or 3 more games. So here we go.

***************************
Max: (with Brad, Jamie and Harry) Hey! Welcome back to Whose line is it anyway? The Zoids special. Tonight's winner, no doubt about it is Bit and Leena.

Bit and Leena: (Still knocked out from the assault)

Max: And they get to rest and hopefully recover while the rest of us, with the help of Harry get to do an Irish Drinking song. (audience goes wild) With the help of Pogi Selamac on piano and Craig Anderson on violin.

Craig: How the hell did I get reduced to this? (Pogi hypnotizes him and he becomes obedient)

Max: And what I need from all of you is what we should sing about.

Audience: HARRY CHAMP!!!!

Max: Harry Champ. Ok then. We're going to do a Harry Champ Irish Drinking song then. (looks at Bit and Leena) a Pro-Harry Irish Drinking song. Take it away, Pogi and Craig. (Pogi and Craig play)

All: Ohhhhh, Aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di

Brad: Hey! Who's the really rich guy

Max: I heard his name is Harry

Jamie: He's not a Vega/Leena fan

Harry: Cuz that's extremely scary

Brad: He has a really cool Dark Horn

Max: And he's the comic relief

Jamie: He has 2 robots for his slaves

Harry: Hiltzism's my belief! (Hiltz fans go wild)

All: Ohhhhh, Aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di

Max: They say he's related to Tom

Jamie: So some bash him as well

Harry: So after I go kick their arse

Brad: Hiltz burns them all in hell?

Max: He alway makes me want to laugh

Jamie: And Bit just makes me hurl

Harry: He's such and asshole

Brad: He screams like a little girl

All: Ohhhhh, Aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di

Jamie: So if you can't respect him

Harry: Then you can go to Hell

Brad: Where Hiltz is gonna get you

Max: Did anyone order a Dell?

Jamie: He is also fashionable

Harry: It's very full of luck

Brad: Did I mention he's a Pogi fan

Max: What the (bleep)?

All: Ohhhhh, Aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di

Harry: I'm glad to say I have a cult

Brad: Who kicked the ass of Bit Cloud

Max: I hope they don't come back for more

Jamie: I'm feeling really proud

Harry: This song about me's amusing

Brad: The fun will never cease

Max: And just this once, I'm going to mention

Jamie: The X Rated Adventures of Reese!

All: Ohhhhh, Aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di
Ohhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-deeee-diiii-deeee-diiiiii!

Max: Harry Champ, people. (All Hiltz and Harry fans in the audience go wild) We'll be right back.

***************************

Author's note: So what do you think? If I screwed up anything or did anything that you think needs improvement, let me know. Please review.

	12. Credits

Disclaimer: I don't own Zoids, or Whose line

***************************
(Brad stands on the stage)

Max: Hey! Welcome back to Whose line is it anyway? We're going to end this fic with Brad doing the credits being Jack Sisco who is STILL trying to take off his headband.

Pogi: Wait! Tell them about the next Whose Line fic coming in a month or less!

Max: (ahem) Somewhere within a month, don't forget to tune in for the next episode of Whose Line. It's called Chaotic Whose Line and Pogi over there is the host.

Pogi: And tell them who's going to be in it!

Max: (sighs) Van, Hiltz, Reese and Raven (everyone goes wild). So if you want, send your suggestions by looking at the bottom of this chap.

Pogi: And tell them about--

Brad: Can we just get on with this!?

Max: Thanks for reading and don't drink too much.

--------------------------
CREDITS:
--------------------------

Brad: (pulling off his headband) Where the hell is that Chaos person!? He's suppose to get this damn thing off me.

Jamie: (Helping him) Mello-Panther Productions is suppose to be here with EclipseKlutz and a crowbar.

Brad: Oh Chomperz!!

Bit: (finally wakes up) BradHunter.Pilot of ShadowFox?

Jamie: No! He's Jack Sisco, Sirusmoe!

Bit: I'm Bit Cloud. And he's not Jack Sisco!

Brad: Pretty Cakkie, for a dense person.

Jamie: Donnie Knowles couldn't say it any better.

Leena: (wakes up) I had a dream I had lunch with Katai Matsuru and Ambient's head.

Hiltz: (from distance) NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Brad: Spectral, who was that?

Jamie: Itsbetterifyoudon'task, animeluvr.

Bit: (to Leena) Strange, I also had a dream I was Porunga and I was doing a Hoedown with Tezza, Stephen Kerr and Jessica Kellicut/Melfina.

Brad: Some name. Now can you please help me get this off! I have an art appointment with Angel Sugar Princess!

--------------------------
And now for Chaotic Whose Line:
I'm going to start this up in a month or less so get ready to send in your suggestions. But I can only do a few games. So here are the choices:

Hoedown
Irish Drinking Song
Whose Line
Sound Effects (new kind)
Wierd Newscasters
Superheroes
Let's make a date
90 sec Alphabet
Scenes from a Hat

I'd put down others, but I just can't think up of anything. So anyway, give me suggestions by any means neccessary and wait up for the sequel in a month. What are you sitting there for? Get to typin!
***************************

Author's note: So what do you think? If I screwed up anything or did anything that you think needs improvement, let me know. Please review.

End file.

Whose Line is it Anyway? by Maxindpogster


Cold Love

At the moment that it all happened Van and Fiona were merely on a mission but neither of them was prepared for what happened because of it. Looking back on it now Van remembers what happened just earlier that day.

"Lieutenant Flyheight, we have gotten word that there has been some bandits that have been looting an area up north and I want to send you and Fiona to go check it out," said Crougar. "I will do that sir," said Van as he gave a salute and left the room. "What is it that he wanted Van," asked Fiona? "He wants us to go and check out some bandits up north," said Van. "Are you ready to go Fiona," asked Van? "Yes, I am," said Fiona.

Van and Fiona left almost immediately after Van was told of the mission. As they traveled they soon realized that they were heading into a snowy area making it a bit hard to see. "Fiona do you see anything out there," asked Van? "No Van, I don't. The snow is making it way too hard to see," said Fiona. Almost right as she said this there were some shots that came out of nowhere. The shots seemed to rock the Blade liger a bit but they managed to survive it. "Where was it coming from," asked Van as he regained control? "To the left of us Van," said Fiona. Van immediately extended the blade ligers blades and charged at the enemy zoids. Almost right as he got started two white command wolves fell to the ground. Yet as soon as this happened more shots hit them, this time it came from their right but there was absolutely nothing there. "Must be using hellcats," said Van. Van decided to use the snow that was coming down to help them by seeing where it hit the hellcats. "There they are," said Van as he charged at them and took them down as well but he wasn't aware that he was standing on the edge of a cliff. He let his guard down a bit and one of the fallen command wolves managed to move just enough to fire a shot. The shot missed and hit the ground but it was enough to make the ground underneath them break up and cause the blade liger to fall a large distance till it hit the ground below throwing both Van and Fiona out of it in different directions and knocking the unconscious.

"Ouch, my head," said Van as he managed to wake up some time after the incident. He took a look around him and realized that he was lying down in the snow with the damaged blade liger about a hundred feet away from him. "Zeke are you ok," asked Van. Zeke responded with a growl to show that he was still there. "Where is Fiona, Zeke," asked Van? Zeke gave a growl that told Van that he didn't know where she was. "We had better go and find her before something happens to her," said Van in a worried tone. He quickly went to the blade liger and opened a compartment and grabbed a coat for the search and also grabbed one for Fiona when he found her.

"Van, are you there," yelled Fiona wondering where Van was at the time. She wasn't really prepared for how cold that it was there and couldn't really handle how cold it was. "Where are you Van," asked Fiona in a voice just higher than a whisper? She took a few steps in any direction hoping that Van might be in that direction but she was unable to see anything. By this point Fiona was starting to feel dizzy from the cold but tried to stay up as long as possible. And just kept walking.

"Hey Zeke do you see any sign of Fiona anywhere," asked Van? Zeke just managed to growl a no to Van. "I see," said Van. "Listen, lets split up so we can cover more ground in finding Fiona, but we need to stay close so that one of us doesn't end up getting lost," said Van. Zeke had to agree with this because he was just as eager to find Fiona as Van is.

After splitting up into two different groups to find Fiona, Van made sure to make sure that Zeke was within hearing range so that neither of them got lost. After a bit of walking Van was about ready to turn back and take a different path when he saw something up ahead of him. He quickly rushed over to see what it was and found Fiona lying in the snow unconscious. "Oh no, Fiona," said Van. "Zeke, I found her," yelled Van and within a minute Zeke was right by him. Van quickly grabbed the extra coat he brought along and wrapped it around Fiona to try and warm her up. Van took notice when doing this that Fiona's lips were a deep shade of blue due to the cold. "We need to get her out of the cold soon," said Van to Zeke. Holding Fiona tightly in his arms Van quickly ran back to the blade liger. After he grabbed a few supplies from it he quickly ran off in search of a shelter for them to use. "Zeke when you were searching did you see anything that we could use as a shelter," asked Van? Zeke nodded and ran off in one direction as Van followed close behind still holding Fiona.

Zeke ran for a few minutes until he came up to a small cave. Van came up to him a few seconds later. "Good boy," said Van. He quickly took Fiona in and set her down carefully on the ground. He took out the supplies that he had grabbed from the blade liger and tried hard to start a fire. "She needs to be warmed up soon or she might not make it," said Van. After a number of more tried Van got a small fire going with the limited supplies that he had. He then took out a blanket that he had grabbed from the blade liger and almost forgot about and wrapped up Fiona in it. "I hope she will be alright," said Van quietly. At that moment though Van heard a noise from outside the cave. Van went to take a look but what he saw he didn't like. It was one of the zoids that he fought earlier. When it saw Van it aimed it's guns and fired at the walls of the cave. A lot of snow and rocks fell from the ceiling and blocked off the entrance to the cave so that no one would be able to get in or out. "Just great," said Van as he tried and failed to move some of the rocks. After a while of trying he gave up and headed back. "Looks like we are stuck in here Zeke," said Van. Zeke growled in response. "At least we have a fire going so we should be able to stay relatively warm but it won't last forever," Van said. "I hope that they have realized something has happened to us so that they can come and help us," said Van as he stared into the fire.

Van just stared at Fiona for a number of minutes till he noticed that Fiona was still shivering even though she was wrapped up in a blanket and near a fire. "What am I going to do? I don't have anything else to use to help warm her up," said Van. By this time Van was starting to get a bit sleepy. "Van, you are going to freeze if you stay like that," said Fiona weakly. This made Van jump a little until he noticed that it was Fiona. "Fiona you are awake," said Van. "You are going to freeze to death like that," said Fiona. "But there is only one blanket," said Van. "We can share," said Fiona. "You need it more Fiona," said Van. "Please Van, I don't want to see you get sick because only I used this blanket," said Fiona. "Are you sure Fiona," asked Van? "Yes," said Fiona. Van got up from where he was sitting and walked over to where Fiona was and carefully got under the blankets by Fiona. By this time Fiona was trying to get back to sleep and Van still noticed that she was shivering. Van cautiously put his arms around her in hopes that he could use his body heat and somehow warm up Fiona a bit. He was glad to see that Fiona stopped shivering after this and had fallen asleep. Van too eventually managed to sleep.

"Hey Thomas have you seen Van or Fiona around here lately," asked Moonbay as she past Thomas at the base. "No, they never returned from the mission that they were sent on and we can't seem to get in touch with them," said Thomas. "Do you think that something might have happened to them," asked Moonbay? "I don't know but I have been ordered to go to their last known position and check to see what is going on," said Thomas. "Good luck," said Moonbay. "Don't worry I won't stop until I find Miss Fiona," said Thomas. "And Van," asked Moonbay? "Yeah and him too," said Thomas but not as enthusiastically as when he talked about Fiona. With that he headed out.

"Van how long do you think that we will be stuck here," asked Fiona? "I don't know, but I guess until they send a search party because the blade liger isn't working because of the fall. I am pretty sure that they have noticed that something is wrong and would have sent somebody by now since we haven't even checked in for a few days," said Van. "Do you think that we will freeze if they don't find us soon," asked Fiona? "Don't think like that. They will find us before then," said Van. "I guess," said Fiona a little sadly. "You need to be a little more optimistic Fiona," said Van. "I guess I am not too enthusiastic about being stuck in here," said Fiona. "I am not either but I am sure we will be fine," said Van. "Do you promise Van," asked Fiona. "Yeah. I will make sure that we manage to get out of here," said Van. Fiona got up from where she was sitting and walked over to Van and sat next to him. She then rested her head on his shoulder. "Fiona," asked Van? "Let me just stay like this Van. You are nice and warm," said Fiona. Van didn't say and word and just let Fiona stay as she was.

As the Dibison walked through the snow Thomas kept and eye open for any of the bandits. At that moment Beak picked up the trace of some upcoming zoids. "Lookie here boys. We've got another one," said a man Thomas guessed was the leader. "My name is Thomas Richard Shubaltz of the Guardian Force. Two others were sent before now. What happened to them," Thomas asked. "Don't know where they are now but last I saw was when I shot the ground out from under them and they fell off a cliff," said the leader. "You're lying. You must know where they are now," said Thomas. "Ok, so maybe I do but what makes you think that I am going to tell you," asked the leader? "Then I guess I will have to force it out of you," said Thomas. "Yeah and how will you do that," asked the leader. "Beak, MEGALOMAX FIRE," yelled Thomas. "The Dibison fired the megalomax hitting almost every target with the rest of them running away. "Now I will ask you again. Where are they," asked Thomas pointing his guns at the downed zoid.

"Great the fire is going out," said Van once he noticed this. "We're going to end up freezing to death now," said Fiona taking her head off Van's shoulder. "I told you, don't talk like that Fiona,' said Van. "I guess I am just scared now," said Fiona, "But if we are to die I guess I don't think that I would mind because at least I am with you Van," said Fiona. "Fiona," asked Van? "I guess the reason that I don't mind it as long as I am with you is because." said Fiona. "Because what," asked Van? "Because I love you," said Fiona quietly as she turned her head away. Van didn't respond. Instead her put his arm around Fiona's shoulder and turned her to face him. "Van," questioned Fiona? "Do you mean that Fiona," asked Van? "yeah," said Fiona quietly but this time she just stared into his dark eyes and just kept staring into them. Van as well was looking deep into Fiona's eyes. "Fiona. I. love. you. too," said Van as his head got closer with every word, and with the last word their lips made contact for a sweet and gentle kiss. It just seemed to go on for a while and was only stopped when they both heard a voice. "Van, Fiona are you in there. Came Thomas's voice. "See I told you we would get out of here," said Van quietly. "Yeah we are in here," yelled Van for Thomas to hear. "Hang on I will get you out of there," said Thomas. Van and Fiona got up and walked over to the rocks. They each grabbed some and they were able to move a few, until there was enough for Van, Fiona, and Zeke to be able to fit through. "Miss Fiona how are you," was the first thing Thomas asked when they got out. Fiona took a quick glance at Van before answering, "Great." "I am glad to hear that," said Thomas. As they headed off to the blade liger with Thomas in the lead, Fiona walked up beside Van and took his hand in hers and they walked together.

"Fiona, you're ok," said Moonbay when she saw Fiona come into the base. "Hey Moonbay," said Fiona. "What happened," Moonbay asked Fiona? "I just want to go get something to eat right now," said Fiona as she walked off to the kitchen. Moonbay turned to ask Van the same question but he was nowhere to be found. "Where'd Van go," asked Moonbay? "I saw him come in but I don't know where he went," said Irvine. "So Thomas what happened," asked Moonbay? "The bandits tried to get them and missed but caused them to fall off a cliff damaging the blade liger. They were trapped in a cave until I came to their rescue," said Thomas. "Oh, I hope they are ok," said Moonbay. "They looked fine when they came in," said Irvine. "I am going to go rest," said Thomas walking off towards his room. "I think I am going to go get something to eat like Fiona," said Moonbay also walking off to the kitchen. "Wait for me," said Irvine. "I wonder what happened to them when they were in the cave," said Moonbay. "Don't know," said Irvine as the came to the kitchen door. They opened the door and walked in only to walk out a second later. "Maybe I will just go out to eat," said Moonbay. "Good idea," said Irvine. "Well that answers what happened," said Moonbay taking one last look in to see Van and Fiona kissing.

End file.

Cold Love by cyberdemon


Free Food

Disclaimer: I don't own Zoids Chaotic Century or any of its characters. But I do own the other characters that I made up in this fanfic (Tom and Mary) but you can steal them ... I don't mind.

Free Food

Author's note: This is a just a one-shot, humor, fluff-romantic fic I made up one night. Moonbay and Irvine are a little OOC in this fic, but that's where it gets its humor genre. Hope you like it!

~~~~

It was another late night when Irvine and Moonbay returned back to the little city they were staying at. The pair had found some mercenary work there, and since the cost of living had been steadily increasing after the war against Hiltz and the Deathsaur, the two mercenaries found that their pockets emptied quicker these days.

Moonbay was driving the Gustav home, towing Irvine's zoid plus three other, inactive ones.

Moonbay sighed.

Moonbay: "Who ever thought that three sleeper Rev Raptors would be such a hassle to catch?"

Irvine: "I can't believe that old man wants them that badly to offer such a high reward."

Moonbay: "Well I can see why he did ... man! I wanna meet the genius who designed those sleepers's AI!"

They pulled up to a large warehouse and Moonbay lifted the hatch to her Gustav as a guard approached.

guard: "Oh, I see, you've brought the sleeper zoids. He's been expecting these."

Moonbay: "Well tell him this job's gonna cost him extra! We had to spend all day trying to catch these buggers!"

The warehouse's gigantic doors opened wide to let the Gustav and cargo in.

There at the entrance stood _him_...

Dr. D: "Well it's about time! Do you know it's already past 11?"

The two mercenaries groaned.

The mad scientist went over to examine the cargo. After much humming and hawing, he finally turned to the weary hunters.

Dr. D: "These Rev Raptors are in terrible shape!"

Irvine: "Hey you didn't say what shape we should bring them in! Just give us the reward and we'll be on our way!"

Moonbay: "Not so fast! I want extra for the hassle!"

Dr. D: (holding his chin and trying to recall) "Oh that's right, I did offer reward money for this didn't I?"

Moonbay and Irvine: "Grrrr!!..."

Dr. D: "Well ... I don't have it right now."

Moonbay and Irvine: O.O

Dr. D: "But I will have it in the morning!"

Moonbay and Irvine: "............ You're DEAD!!!!"

They both lunge at him, really to choke him to death for all the torture and hell the mad scientist had put them through all these years.

But suddenly ten guards came to his defense and blocked the angry mercenaries from their sweet revenge.

Dr. D: (doing a funny pose) "Oh it sure _pays_ to have lots of money, doesn't it?! Ha ha ha!"

Moonbay and Irvine: "GRRRRR!!!"

Dr. D: "Now come on now, you'll see your money in the morning! You don't need it right away do you?"

Suddenly both Moonbay and Irvine's stomach growled loudly.

Dr. D: "Oh well, ... I guess it's always good to watch your figure!"

With that he snapped his fingers and the guards took them away.

Moonbay: "THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU I'LL HAVE A RAIL GUN WAITING!!"

Irvine: "I DON'T NEED TO WAIT TIL NEXT TIME ... I'M GETTING IN MY LIGHTNING SAIX RIGHT NOW!"

Dr. D: "Bye bye!"

The guards let them go and the two were about to load up some ammo when Dr. D pressed a button and made one of his inventions pop up from the ground and aim a mean looking barrel at them.

Moonbay and Irvine hugged each other in fear (Team Rocket style): "Wha-what the hell is **that?!**"

Dr. D: "I call this baby my ultra-mini-but-super-evil-gravity-cannon cannon! ...Bwahahahahah!"

Moonbay: "**Ahhhh!!**"

They get in the Gustav and take off.

Dr. D: "_Wait!_ ... Oh well ... I guess this means you don't want your money do you? ... Heheheh!"

~~~~

Moonbay: "This is just **great!** I knew this would happen! I told you not to trust him, didn't I?"

Irvine: "Oh so now it's _my_ fault for not getting paid right away?"

Moonbay's stomach growled.

Moonbay: "Yes it is! And now you're going to buy dinner for us!"

Irvine: "With what? ... Pocket lint?"

Moonbay: "No." (points to Lightning Saix that the Gustav is hauling) "With **that!**"

Irvine: o.O "Get a hold of yourself; you're not actually thinking of ..."

Moonbay: (going crazy with hunger) "Heheheh!"

Irvine realized they were driving towards a pawn shop.

Irvine: "NOOOO!!! How about we sell your crappy Gustav instead?"

Moonbay: O.O "**Excuse me?!**"

Irvine: "You heard me, what good is it for any way?"

Moonbay: "It's good enough for hauling your @$$ all the way from here to the Wind Colony! Get out of my Gustav!"

Irvine: "With pleasure!"

They stopped the zoid and Moonbay popped the hatch.

Moonbay: "Alright, this is where you get off-"

She stopped as she realized Irvine had a dazed expression on his face and he was staring at her.

Moonbay: "Wh-what are you staring at?"

But as she got a closer look at his face she realized he was staring past her and she turned her head to see what he was looking at.

Then her own eyes widened at the beautiful sight before them; an all-you-can-eat buffet!

Irvine: (in a dreamy voice) "Moonbay, look at what that sign says down there ..."

Moonbay looked at the advertisement in the restaurant's window and read it: "tonight only, eat ... **free** ..."

Irvine: "That has to be the most sexiest word on the entire planet Zi ..."

~~~~

The restaurant's guests were busy enjoying a lovely meal when suddenly two, loud-mouth, dirty-clothed mercenaries burst into the building shouting "**Yippee!**"

Irvine came up to a cleanly-dressed waiter who had the misfortune of being the closest one to him.

Irvine: "I'll have three servings of everything!"

Moonbay: "Can we get a doggy-bag?"

waiter: "Uh, I assume you're here for the free buffet?"

Moonbay: "Oh of course, absolutely!"

Irvine: "We're always attracted to things that are free!"

waiter: "Well I'm sorry, but you should have read the small print."

Moonbay and Irvine: XD "Small print?!"

waiter: "Yes, the buffet is free for couples only, and to make sure that you're real a couple one of the waitresses asks you questions about each other."

Moonbay: "Hold on for one moment!"

She grabs Irvine by the arm and drags him outside again.

Irvine: "Moonbay! Why'd you do that? I was all ready to hold them up with my gun and make them give us the food!"

Moonbay: "I've got a better idea! Why don't we just play along with their little game and make up some false information to give to them? I mean, how hard a question can they ask? So, let's pretend my name is Sandy Box and you can be-"

Irvine: "I think I liked my thought of holding up the place better!"

Moonbay: "Irvine! We can't be outlawed from _every_ town!"

Irvine: (sighes)

They go back in.

Moonbay: "Sorry to keep you waiting, but I had to talk to this idi-I mean ... my _boyfriend_ in private for a moment!"

waiter: "Ok ..."

Irvine: (sighes and sweatdrops)

Moonbay: "So we're ready for the free food now!"

waiter: "But first you must answer the questions."

Moonbay: "Oh, yeah, that's what I meant."

Suddenly a ditsy-blonde waitress came over with some question cards.

blonde-ditz: (suddenly holds her nose with her long, fake red fingernails) "Oh my Gawd, they like, _smell funny_!"

Moonbay: (growls) "You'd smell funny too if you spent all day chasing Rev Raptors in the hot desert sun!"

waiter: (trying to keep the peace) "Now, now, just read the questions and get this over with!"

Irvine: "I agree, wholeheartedly."

blonde-ditz: "Eww, would you like a mint, sir?"

Irvine: (growls)

waiter: "Mary, please!"

blonde-ditz: "Ok! Ok! ... Ok. Question one is ... what are your pet names for each other?"

Moonbay: (with a big, fake smile) "Poopykins!"

Irvine: (groaning, and not feeling imaginative) "Honey."

blonde-ditz: "Ok. Ok ... Question two is ... where did you first meet? And you have to write the answer down on paper without looking at each other." (hands them two pieces of paper)

Moonbay and Irvine sweatdrop but take the paper and begin to write something down.

They hand the answers back to the waitress.

blonde-ditz: (looks at Irvine's answer first) "Ok, looks like you met ... in a van?"

Irvine: "No! _Van_'s the name of the person who brought us together!"

Moonbay: (smirks) "Irvine! ... you're really starting to get into this aren't you?"

Irvine: "I'm really starting to get hungry!"

blonde-ditz: (looks at Moonbay's answer) "Hey! But you said it was during a battle with some ... slippers?"

Moonbay: "**Sleepers!**"

blonde-ditz: "Well either way, it's not the same as his answer so it proves you're a fake!"

Moonbay: (in her best negotiating voice) "No, you got it all wrong, you see ... it was during a battle with sleepers that our best friend, Van, brought us together on the battle field!"

blonde-ditz: "Oh, I see, ... so it was kinda like, ..._romantic_, right?"

Moonbay: "Extremely..." (elbows Irvine)

Irvine: "... Yeah."

waiter: (sighes)

blonde-ditz: "Ok. Ok. Ok ... Question three is ... Ok. Ok."

Irvine and Moonbay wanted to slap her, but the other waiter beat them to it...

blonde-ditz: "Ow! Tom, why did you do that?"

waiter: (draws his hand back quickly as he realized what he'd just done) "I'm sorry, I was just acting on impulse."

blonde-ditz: "**Grr** ... Anyway ... Question three is ... what are your middle names? This is the last one, and again you have to write them down on separate pieces of paper."

Moonbay and Irvine gulped, but once again took the pieces of paper.

Moonbay carefully wrote the most general name as possible that she could think up.

She didn't realize she was taking so long when the waitress spoke up:

blonde-ditz: "Uh, are you like _done_ yet?"

Irvine: "Here's mine."

Finally Moonbay handed her piece of paper in too. She watched it go into the other girl's hands, slipping away, just like her own chance at finding a meal tonight.

blonde-ditz: "Ok,"

waiter: "Mary, please! _That word?!_"

blonde-ditz: "Sorry, I can't help it, it makes up most of my vocabulary!"

waiter: (sighes) "Fine, just ask them the last question."

blonde-ditz: "So you tell me what your middle name is first." (turns to Moonbay)

Moonbay: "......Sarah."

blonde-ditz: (squints at what Irvine wrote on his paper) "Oh my Gawd, I can't even read it!"

waiter: "It's ok, Mary, at least we didn't hire you for your reading skills." (takes paper from her and looks at it)

waiter: (sweatdrops and looks at Irvine) "This just looks like a bunch of scribbles!"

Irvine: "I can't help it if I have bad handwritting ... but it does say Sierra, anyway."

Moonbay: "**Sarah!** He said _Sarah!_"

waiter: (sweatdrops)

blonde-ditz: "Well at least I can read her's. Ok, so what is your middle name?" (looks at Irvine)

Irvine: (states simply) "It's Zeke."

Moonbay: o.O "**Zeke?!**"

blonde-ditz: "Well it says on her answer that it's _John_, so **ha**! That means you're not a couple!"

Moonbay: (stands up and grabs Irvine by his shirt) "Why did you have to choose something stupid like **Zeke**?! Why couldn't you have picked a more _normal_ middle name like **John?!**"

Irvine: "Well I'm sorry _'honey'_! I didn't know that it had to be the most _'normal'_ middle name!"

Moonbay: "This is just great! Now we have no dinner and it's all your fault!"

Irvine: "Oh, so it's _my_ fault for not being able to read your mind?"

Moonbay: "Yeah! And you're sleeping _outside_ of the Gustav tonight!"

Irvine: "Oh, I think the Lightning Saix will be even more welcoming!"

Moonbay: "Forget it! I'm selling it for cash!"

waiter: (watches them) "**Oh my God!** Mary get them a table!"

blonde-ditz: "**What?!** But why?"

waiter: "They're not just a couple ... they're freakin' **married!**"

Irvine and Moonbay: O.O "**WHAT?!!**"

~~~~

Two main courses and eight appetizers later ...

Moonbay: "I'm so full ..."

Irvine: "Yeah ..."

Moonbay: "This was actually kind of fun, we should do this again sometime."

Irvine: "......................... no."

Moonbay: "Oh come on, Irvine, it's not like we'd _actually_ ever be a couple!"

Irvine: "Only when Hell freezes over."

Moonbay: "Exactly!"

She finishes her drink and begins to stand up.

Moonbay: "Have you stuffed enough of those pancakes into your pockets?"

Irvine: "Yup. I even fit some of those French bread things in my shirt."

Moonbay: "It's really too bad that they wouldn't give us doggy-bags, oh well..."

She shifted some of the food items in her own pockets to make room for some more jelly packets that she was swiping from the adjacent table.

Moonbay: "I'd say we're stocked up for the week!" (she said as they headed for the door)

Irvine: "That's good, but hopefully we'll be able to buy some more food once Dr. D pays us."

Moonbay waved goodbye to the waiter and ditzy waitress. Irvine didn't because he was too busy crossing his arms to keep the bread sticks from falling out of his shirt.

Once they were gone, the waiter closed the door and ripped off the advertisement for "eat free".

waiter: "Tell the manager that we're _never_ doing this again!"

blonde-ditz: "Really?"

~~~~

Irvine and Moonbay got back into the Gustav.

Moonbay: "We got really lucky tonight! Who knows, maybe we'll get lucky again tomorrow and Dr. D will pay us like he promised!"

Irvine: (looks over at her) "I think that has as much possibility as us getting married!"

Moonbay: (smiles and winks at him) "Should we stop by the church on the way back?"

Irvine: (smirks) "Only if Dr. D's there with the money!"

They both laughed and drove off.

Little did they know that Dr. D's super-spy-camera was watching them and listening to them.

Dr D: (from his secret hideout) "Hehehe ... married, huh?"

He suddenly makes a phone call.

Back at the restaurant, the telephone rings. The waiter answers it.

waiter: "Hello?"

Dr. D: "Hello, Tom! I trust you did what I asked you to?"

waiter: "Uh, yes ... Um, what exactly was that stuff that you had me put in their food?"

Dr. D: "Oh, that?" (smirks) "That was _love potion!_"

waiter: o.O "... Why?"

Dr. D: "Heheheh! Well, those two are always causing me more debt to them everytime they do a job for me, so I figured I'd give them a little something to keep them off my back for a while ..."

waiter: "Oh ... I see."

Dr. D: (laughs maniacally)

~~~~

Meanwhile, about a mile away...

The doors of a church swung open as a man with a woman in his arms stepped out, laughing intoxicatedly.

Irvine: (with a goofy grin on his face) "Who cares about money when I have you, **honey-buns?!**"

Moonbay: (even goofier grin and laughing) "Same here, **pookey-bear!** Let's go home and call _all_ our friends to tell them we got _married!_"

Irvine: "I bet Van and Fiona will **love** to hear that! Hey! Let's call McMann, too!"

Moonbay: (winks) "Ok, sugar!"

The merry couple walked off into the desert together.

The End

Author's Note: :P Sorry for that! I wrote this fanfic at 12 am and it continued to get progressively stupider as the night wore on. Well, hope it made you laugh at least! ^_^|

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