comment: >
  
  Women tend to get more positive and negative feedback.
  The positive feedback tends to stick in your mind, while the negative feedback tends to stick in theirs.
  Then when the two of you talk about the nature of Reddit threads, you both feel like you're gaslighting each other, because you remember the positive feedback so keenly and she remembers every single word of the negative feedback.
  But in the end, the only real truth here is: on the Internet, women get more feedback than men do.
context: In my experience on most subreddits that aren't specifically focused on gender:
  When a man does something shitty, he is blamed for it and everyone moves on.
  When a woman does something shitty, women are blamed for it and a debate ensues. >
  
  Yes, the debate continues because some people are ready to defend a woman who has done something obviously bad just because she is a woman. When men does something shitty, everyone agrees that he is stupid and no debate is there to be seen. So you just proved my point, thank you. >
  
  
  Yes, the debate continues because some people are ready to defend a woman who has done something obviously bad just because she is a woman.
  
  Not because she's a woman, because women in general are being attacked by being unfairly grouped with the bad actor. Important difference. >
  
  I don’t understand what that means, could you try to explain with some easier words? >
  
  When a man is blamed, that man is blamed as an individual. I.e., Bob yells at a retail worker--Bob is an asshole.
  When a woman is blamed, women as a whole are blamed. I.e., Sue yells at a retail worker--women are such Karens. >
  
  That is not quite my experience. I think that both genders are blamed in groups. Your example with the Karen thing is great, because it’s common for people to say so. But men are also blamed in groups. Just take such a thing as when people say that we live in a patriarchy. They take an example of an extremely rich man, lists his privileges, then says that ALL men have those privileges and therefore we live in a patriarchy which is not correct. Another example is sexual assault. And I know it’s a emotionally loaded subject but hear me out. How often do you not hear feminists say that all men are trash or all men are contributing to sexual assault? Often. You ask them why and they say “well all of us 3 in this group have been sexually assaulted by guy x, y and z. Absolutely, those guys are idiots but not all men are like that. As a man myself, I often feel like I’m being attacked for being a man, but people think that is just doing justice when I have never been involved in any kind of crime or anything. They think it’s serving justice because I have a penis and some people who do bad things also have a penis. What if I went around and treated people like robbers because a few women have done robbery? >
  
  Ok, let's take your example of robbery vs sexual assault. I assume you've heard the phrases "Not all men" and "Yes all women?" What this means is that, even though most men have not sexually assaulted women, all or almost all women have experienced a form of sexual assault. Robbery is perpetrated by a small percentage of people, and affects a small percentage of people. Sexual assault is perpetrated by a small percentage of people (although larger than most people think), but it affects a huge percentage of people. In this sense, the experience of a woman in society is objectively worse than that of a man. 
  Another thing people tend to say is, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. What this means is, even if you have not sexually harassed or assaulted a woman, you likely know someone who thinks that such things are ok. Those men don't care about the opinions of women, so if you do not actively teach them not to harass women, you are allowing sexual harassment to happen. >
  
  Of course I understand that it effects many women by not so many men. But does that make it harder live as a woman? 
  I believe the second statement isn’t fair at all. If I clearly state that I don’t ever condone to sexual harassment but know someone who doesn’t agree with me, that makes me a part of the problem? That is a claim that I don’t believe to be true. A person who think it’s ok to sexually harass anyone isn’t going to change their mind if i tell them that is not ok. These kind of people have had other factors in life that has resulted in their view. Perhaps parents were missing during childhood, someone has brainwashed them or maybe they even know what they’re doing isn’t cool, but yet they are so good at ignoring their self-respect and true thoughts that sexually harassing someone isn’t hard for them. 
  First statement, cool i can agree on the stats. Second statement, blaming all men for sexual assault happening is not doing anyone any good and is not true. >
  
  So, based on the way you're phrasing your post, I'm assuming that by "on Reddit" you primarily mean in relationship-focused or drama-focused subs like AITA or r/relationships. If that's not the case, please mention which subs in particular you've seen this in--some links to example posts would be nice too.
  The first thing I'll say is that, even if the trend you believe exists DOES exist in those subs, that does not mean it exists in reddit as a whole.
  The next thing I'll say is that what I have noticed in those subs is that the OP is more likely to be voted NTA, and other people in their story are more likely to be considered an asshole than not, because they are not there to tell their side and so reddit sympathizes with the person telling the story. I believe this phenomenon is gender-independent. However it may be the case that more women's posts than men's posts are upvoted to the top on these subreddits, leading to the erroneous conclusion that women are "favored".
  The third thing I'll say is that the first thing you say in your post is "when a man does something shitty." Can we agree that, if a man does something shitty, pointing out that it is shitty is not "favoring women?" You seem to think that men are called assholes more than women, but you use as your (admittedly vague) example a man that is actually an asshole. Stating the truth is not favoring either gender even if the truth is that a man was an asshole and a woman wasn't.
  The fourth thing I want to point out is the "mob opinion phenomenon." People often perceive that everyone is against them when that is not the case. Have you ever noticed that when a person talks about "society," they really mean "everyone who disagrees with me?" A far right republican says "society is shoving the trans agenda down our throats". A trans ally says "society hates trans people." In reality, opinions in the whole of the US population are split fairly evenly down the middle on that issue. This phenomenon happens when a persecution fetish meets confirmation bias. I think it's possible that you are drawing a conclusion which objective statistics do not support, due to a mob opinion phenomenon happening in your brain. 
  The fifth thing I want to say is, several women have commented here about their own experiences with rape and death threats. It's very clear that there is a statistically significant difference in the number of rape and death threats received by women vs. men. You have responded to these by saying "this represents a tiny percentage of men, not Reddit as a whole". This is a statistical error on your part. If 50% of women and 5% of men receive rape and death threats on a weekly basis in a community, that community favors men in that sense. It doesn't matter how many men are sending the threats. Remember, the murder rate in El Salvador is only about 50 in 100,000, and murderers are a tiny percentage of the population, but that is still the most likely place for a person to be murdered on earth. In addition, the actual percentage of comments that are rape and death threats can be very low, but statistically that is not important; what is important is the difference between the percentage of comments women receive that are rape or death threats, and the percentage of comments men receive that are rape or death threats. If 0.1% of comments received by women are rape or death threats and 0.01% of comments received by men are rape or death threats, women are statistically 10x more likely than men to experience rape or death threats on reddit. That would be an example of reddit favoring men. That's how an actual statistical analysis would read. >
  
  I must say you have some great points that are relevant to the post and I thank you for that. 
  Yes I’m talking about relationship-focused subs, that’s where I mainly read. Yes, I understand that it perhaps doesn’t exist on reddit as a whole, of course it doesn’t, on some subs gender isn’t even mentioned.
  Second point about people being voted NTA is great and makes me think. It is true that many times the side characters of the story don’t have a voice and cannot tell some untold truths that are relevant to the story. And yes, maybe more women post and therefore it seems like they are favored, but it’s hard to know without any stats so I will leave that uncommented. 
  Very true, we can agree that saying a man is shitty when he actually is is not favoring women, that is totally correct.
  Your point about mob opinion is a very interesting phenomenon. But can’t that be applied to the people who comment? They often say that women are oppressed but that no one but women agrees with them which isn’t true because there are many men agreeing with this, especially on reddit. Isn’t that also the same phenomenon?
  You’re fifth point is my favorite because it actually made me realize that i was in the wrong on that point. Know I must say that I believe 50% of women getting threats is a very high unlikely number but I trust you since You sound very wise and you seem to know your thing. But your point is still valid and it is correct that it favors men in that way. But we can both agree that it shouldn’t favor men and in the best case scenario, no one would get threats. Yet, why should women get favored in comments? (Now if my statement is true which I believe it is.) >
  
  So these are just from your personal experience/anecdotes instead of actual statistics? Or if there are statistics, please show me the research for it. Thanks. >
  
  Doesn’t my personal experience and anecdotes matter? Stats don’t always tell the whole truth, I can make a statement without having the support of statistics if I have other valid and well grounded arguments. >
  
  First please dont get so defensive, I never said that personal experience and anecdotes dont matter, I was merely asking you whether these are personal experience or from statistics.
  So suppose this right:
  Premise: Personal experience and anecdotes are valid to make objective statements.
  You make a statement that
  u/lemonmoister has the personal experience that Reddit favor women over men.
  and following the premise, we can make the objective statement that 'It is true that reddit favor women over men.'
  The problem comes with this, suppose person B says that
  Person B has the personal experience that Reddit does not favor women over men.
  Again following the premise, we can make the objective statement that 'It is true that Reddit does not favor women over men.'
  We now have two contradicting objective statements, and therefore something is flawed.
  I would say that there are two solutions to this:
  
  Change the premise so that personal experience and anecdotes are valid only for subjective statements instead of objective statements. --- i.e. person P experiences XXX therefore it is valid for them to feel XXX. (but it is not necessarily objectively the case that it is XXX)
  Deny that 'person B' exists, that it is impossible for anyone to experience that Reddit does not favor women over men.
  
  Do you agree with my analysis? If not, why? >
  
  I’m sorry if I may have sounded defensive, that was not my intention.
  Yes, your analysis if true, perhaps I should have phrased it differently. But I think you still get my point. Of course if I don’t have literally stats then it’s a feeling based opinion.