comment: >
  
  Sounds like controlling and jealous behaviour with a lack of trust....
  It's definitely not an age thing.
context: wow. an unpopular opinion finally graced this sub >
  
  An unpopular opinion that doesn't sound made up >
  
  It's definitely her real opinion, and it's definitely unpopular. 
  Maybe at a certain point, your life partner should be your best friend, ya know? 
  But the idea that a platonic friend can't be opposite gender is beyond stupid. Are bi people and nonbinary people just not supposed to have friends at all? Seems to me the real issue is whether you want to keep true to any promises of monogamy, or not. >
  
  Obviously this woman doesn’t believe bisexual and nonbinary people exist.  She’s 56 and obviously very conservative. >
  
  And she obviously doesn't trust her husband - or he doesn't trust her - despite her claim that they have trust and it's just about "respect." >
  
  I just don't get it. I get feeling some level of wariness, maybe insecurity, at times, but there's a point where it's all just beyond irrational and it doesn't even make sense to be in the relationship. It seems like a miserable way to interact with people.
  Lol @ "respect." For those of us that trust our partners and don't think we own our partners, we aren't disrespected by them interacting with other people. She's really telling on herself, there. >
  
  Jokes on her, I cheat with my male friends. >
  
  I'll be home in a few hours honey, just watching the ballgame. >
  
  Just building an art room for my bros... >
  
  OP. 
  I’ve gone back and forth on this a lot over my life. The best advice I can give you is that it’s entirely case dependent and you can’t generalize. 
  There’s a lot of guys who are friends with a girl to get with them. There are a lot of girls who keep a guy around as another option. There are a lot of guys and girls (and non binary folks) who do neither and just have friends that they considered genuine siblings. 
  The only rule that one should follow is - you know your partner so don’t put them in a position where they have to be uncomfortable with you. Maintain a decent enough boundary with people who you yourself and your partner are/aren’t ok with and live your lives.
  If you or your partner cheats because of their friend of the opposite gender; they’re a shitty partner. If they make you feel uncomfortable for asking for boundaries; they’re a shitty partner.
  I conclude with the reality that boundaries are a two way street. I know a lot of religious guys that say their SO can’t have male friends, but still hang out with women who’ve expressed the desire to get together. I’ve seen women get angry at a guy for talking to a girl, and have 3 backups. Neither is ok. 
  Just live your life and dw >
  
  Personally as a straight dude I like to keep a bunch of girls as friends because they are very caring and rational. Whenever I go to a girl with my problems they always have much more fulfilling advice than my guy friends. I'm not even attracted to most of them they just get me more than guy friends >
  
  Also, having platonic  girl friends is a great way to screen out bad apples when dating. 
  As a guy I miss a lot of red flags that girls pick up right way. I also miss a lot of positive signals that girls put out, so having some "translators" was really helpful. >
  
  my male friends did this for me with men, they saw all the red flags. >
  
  One time, it was just a bracelet. 
  My girl friend: "She's got a sugar daddy"
  Me: "What makes you say that?"
  Friend: "No girl buys jewelry like that for herself."
  Me: "Maybe a gift from family?"
  Friend: "When's the last time you bought your sister a $400 silver Tiffany bracelet with a heart and arrow on it?"
  Me: "Maybe it was from a previous relationship?"
  Friend: "That bracelet came out this season, dude. That's a romantic gift, and she didn't say no. What's her name?" (Searches Instagram and shows me the pictures of her with a guy posted two days ago). "Best case scenario, you're a just a re-bound and you deserve better than that." >
  
  wtf is this sherlock level shit 😭 >
  
  Hey man, I've seen reddit guys locate the model of a gritty old walkytalkie wrapped in weird fibres down to the model, production company and circulation through the years.
  Don't underestimate weird nerds all over the world. >
  
  r/gunners figured out a possible new signing was in London based on a very average cloud formation through a small section of the car window in the background of the player's selfie. >
  
  Guess I can’t have friends being bisexual. Epic. >
  
  I'm sorry, it's illegal for you to have friends. Hand them over, now. >
  
  Can we at least get a refund? Maybe some monetary compensation? >
  
  I have some leftover Rangoon. Sorry, it’s the best I can do. >
  
  I'll take what I can get, I guess. >
  
  That’s the spirit! >
  
  I don’t think it’s a red flag at all but I think your completely within reason to let him know it makes you uncomfortable and for you two to take steps or compromise so your comfortable with their friendship. He shouldn’t have to stop being friends though. I know you said it’s not a trust thing but if this is something you guys can’t talk through then it really does seem like a trust issue. >
  
  She's 56, it's more of a generational culture thing >
  
  I’m 54 and I think this opinion is total bullshit. I’d be fine if the man I decided to marry had a woman best friend, because I wouldn’t have decided to marry him if I didn’t trust him. Also presumably I’d meet this best friend, and chances are great that if the man I loved thought she was best-friend material, I’d like her, too. 
  If you don’t trust your fiancé/fiancée, don’t get married. Full stop. >
  
  I just came here to say im free if u want to get married again😆 >
  
  First I must meet the Best Friend. ;) >
  
  Ha deciding if you can stand the best friend is a different issue to whether or not they exist and have a different gender. >
  
  Yeah, but also I want to know what the best friend thinks of him.  Ha! >
  
  I have women who I’ve known for the last 15 years of my life. I’m not gonna stop considering them some of my closest friends just cause I start dating someone. Sure. Maybe at one point when I was god damn teenager I thought of them in a slightly sexual way. But it’s been a long time since I was a teen. They’re just the homies at this point. And anyone who has a problem with that is someone I don’t want a relationship with in the first place. >
  
  This exactly. I made sure from day 0 that my partner knew that my best friend was part of the package and if he had a problem with that, then we didn't have anything left to discuss. He was and remains cool with it. Why wouldn't he be? My best friend is no threat to him. >
  
  Yup exactly. I’d honestly find it way more of red flag when someone thinks men and women can’t just be friends. Says a lot about how they view the opposite sex. >
  
  God forbid your bisexual and you're not allowed to have any friends then >
  
  Don't blame it on your age, I'm 54 and I don't see any problem with it in a healthy, trustful relationship. >
  
  I think it depends. If the friend is respectful of the relationship, doesn’t cross any reasonable boundaries, and there isn’t any romantic or sexual history between the two then I don’t think that there’s any problems. >
  
  Cant have friends? Easy bullet dodged. >
  
  Just sleep with all your friends then it's equal >
  
  I love my best friend, they are the opposite sex. I would never consider dating them, but I love them in the most platonic sense. >
  
  "that isn’t because we don’t trust each other, but rather because we respect each other."
  If you trust your partner, it is disrespectful to them for you to expect them to cut ties with their best friend simply because of that best friend's gender.  The fact that you see it as a "red flag" points to a lack of trust. >
  
  So much this. That last line upset me so much. Especially since I'm bi, this kind of thinking would really be problematic for me. Probably my two best friends in the world are a gay man and a straight woman, both of which would be very off limits in such a ridiculous relationship paradigm. >
  
  It's such an asinine take - and clearly points to OP being in denial of their lack of trust in their partner.  And their various arguments in the comments here are moronic as well - they say things like "shouldn’t your partner be your BEST friend?" which basically implies that if two straight guys are best friends then they should get married to each other.  But they can't even understand the fact that people generally use the term "friend" to distinguish a person from their partner / spouse in applicable contexts, so I guess we really can't expect much of anything reasonable from them. >
  
  
  shouldn’t your partner be your BEST friend
  
  Which is a bullshit argument from them because it clearly wasn't what they were saying. I think that's them trying damage control. They were saying it's wrong if your best friend is the opposite sex, implying it's fine if it's the same sex. Which isn't saying your best friend should be your partner. >
  
  I would have no issues whatever the gender of my husbands best friend. And he wouldn't have with me either. I'm bi so would have a severely limited choice of best friends if that was the case! 
  So yeah, unpopular opinion, take my upvote. >
  
  Right?! I'm a lesbian, so I can't be friends with any girls I went to my single-gender school with? My partner is bi, so is she not supposed to have any friends? Bit archaic to not consider non hetero people and relationships. >
  
  OP is super Christian, she doesn't even put LGBT groups into her calculations. >
  
  Finally a true, somewhat reasonable unpopular opinion. It's not very often I get to say it, but I completely disagree.
  With that said, have an upvote! >
  
  If it was unpopular in isolation then sure, it fits well here. But it’s her rationale for why she has that opinion that is the problem. 
  “It isn’t because we don’t trust each other, but because we respect each other” is just a fancy way of saying you don’t trust each other at all. >
  
  "I respect you, hence you cannot have female friends, cut contract wirh them and never be alone with another woman" op, probably >
  
  More like 'I say I respect you, so what that means is that you owe me your respect. And what that means is that you do whatever the hell I say or want'. >
  
  I'm 55 and have been married to my wife for over 14 years, together for longer. I also have a best friend who is a woman and who I've known since I was 15. My wife really likes her as well and is also friends with her. I know another half dozen women very well who I've been friends with for over 35 years. You have trust issues. >
  
  People who think trust can control people have the real trust issues lmao >
  
  Damn I'm bi so I guess no friends for me. >
  
  OP really forgot not everyone is straight which is exactly why her logic is flawed. >
  
  You say this is a sign of your age but I’d expect a jealous 20 year old to have this opinion >
  
  Oh they do, I would know as I had to stop being friends with a guy over a year ago because his girlfriend was insecure and felt the need to keep tabs on every woman in his life and made him unfollow my socials because I blocked her as she was making me uncomfortable. >
  
  I felt this so hard. Doesn’t help that it’s a climbing trend now on the internet to push this narrative so women get more vicious if they hear their boyfriend has a female friend. >
  
  Definitely a sign of your age. I have a female friend and I have zero sexual attraction to her. I mean none. Never have either. >
  
  So because my fiancé and I have friends of the opposite sex we don’t respect one another? Post reeks of Self esteem issues. >
  
  Beyond just aging themselves, the language being used basically ignores homosexual couples or non-binary genders or Asexual but romantic partners. 
  It's not just self esteem issues, the post reeks of a fully heteronormative upbringing that's probably sheltered within a religious community.
  Like if her husband was a closeted bisexual, and he and his best male friend went away on fishing trips that were actually the two of them having sexual relations, I doubt OP would be totally cool and comfortable with that but she's completely blind to it because she's so hyper-focused on being the only woman in his life. >
  
  
  homosexual
  
  It's just a phase
  
  non-binary
  
  "Science!"
  
  Asexual
  
  Just haven't met the right one
  /s >
  
  >Bisexual
  Just have threesomes!  
  Can't forget that one >
  
  It does look like this is in fact an unpopular opinion >
  
  I dunno its pretty popular amongst the average insecure person. >
  
  Yep! Only insecure people make this a hill to die on >
  
  & people who gaslight about cheating. 
  "Omg babe he's just a frienddd. Ughhh, guys r so insecure/controlling. I'm hanging out with my friends and I'm not answering my phone" 
  "Okay yeah I was cheating. But it's your fault"
  Some people are just full of shit. Like, you can't tell me those lies when I've been the person that's "just" a friend. >
  
  My best friend fucked my wife. I don't have best friends or that wife anymore. >
  
  New post tomorrow.
  Married guys shouldn't have male best friends. >
  
  Seems prudent. You never know when you're going to get bi-curious... >
  
  "that isn’t because we don’t trust each other"
  Riiiiiight. >
  
  It’s really a case by case basis but if you don’t trust your partner there’s just no relationship. If you truly believe your husband can’t be alone with another woman then why be with him? >
  
  That's an interesting way of saying you don't trust your husband...
  I feel pretty sorry for him, actually >
  
  Yeah if there was trust, she wouldn’t care if he had a woman as a friend. Also sounds like she has some internalized misogyny if she thinks women should be competing for a man’s attention. >
  
  It would be a red flag if my partner said that to me. It isn't disrespectful at all >
  
  Ya.. say what you want, but that's not respect.
  That's definitely a lack of trust in either yourselves or each other.
  It's an old way of thinking and doing things, it's also idiotic. >
  
  Facts >
  
  it's not a red flag. can we please stop making the pettiest of things red flags >
  
  This is a RED FLAG as one partner is controlling who the other partner can have as friends. this is very much a domestic abuse situation. >
  
  Reason number 6 why people don't take these phrases such as domestic abuse as seriously as we should. Most of us agree this opinion is insecure, but don't downplay domestic violence like this. Having a preference isn't domestic violence. >
  
  It’s ultimately your partner trying to cut you off from your emotional support due to their own insecurities. I don’t think that this scenario alone would be domestic abuse, but it certainly sounds like it could easily head into that territory. >
  
  It certainly could, but as I saw from the original post, she said she wouldn't have even dated her husband if he had a woman best friend. If that is known from the get go wouldn't that be a preference, not domestic abuse?
  I agree it's insecure. But I think saying you wouldn't date someone with an opposite gendered best friend is domestic abuse, but a preference. 
  On the flip side, if you're already in a relationship and start doing that afterwards, that is controlling. >
  
  my best friend is a woman... Her husband is also one of my best friends... I can call either to go out for a drink or to talk at any time... Me and her have been friends since highschool.   I was in their wedding as a groomsman. They're like family >
  
  You say it's not about insecurity but it has to be. EIther you're able to handle yourself alone with your friends or the concept of betraying your partner wouldn't even cross your mind as a possibility, and likewise either you trust your partner or you wouldn't consider the likelihood that they'd betray you. 
  This isn't all that unpopular (unfortunately) but it is a juvenile/archaic belief that seems to be diminishing. >
  
  I think you have to put yourself into an old-timey "keeping up appearances" mindset to see the respect aspect that OP refers to.
  It's about not putting yourself in positions where people around you could conceivably think you're cheating on your spouse. 
  You do NOT want those old bitties at church thinking you're cuckolding your husband with farmer Joe, and you definitely don't want them telling their own husbands about their suspicions, because they work with your husband in the coal mine and he would lose clout if everyone thought his woman was out of control.
  So from that point of view, it's really not about distrusting your spouse - it's about expecting your spouse to present themselves to the community in a way that casts no doubt on the sanctity of your marriage.
  Is it old-fashioned to think this way? Yes, but it's understandable depending on what sort of place you grew up in. >
  
  I'd say it's a red flag if your partner is incapable of accepting that you have another friend of your preferred gender, trying to separate you from your external support network is a textbook sign of abuse after all >
  
  By your logic I couldn't have any friends if I'm in a relationship since I'm attracted to both genders. Your views of friendship and relationships are pretty outdated and toxic. >
  
  What’s the bet that OP wouldn’t make an exception for Aro best friends either? >
  
  Having the capacity to maintain a plutonic relationship is akin to those who have faith and/or believe in god. You’re either capable of doing so or not - just because you can’t, doesn’t mean others can.
  Let people be who they want to be with whom they want too. >
  
  For real if someone I was dating took issue with my relationship with my best friend I know which one I would be ditching. Spoiler: It's not the friend. >
  
  Biz Markie (R.I.P.) told us this back in the day. >
  
  It's certainly understandable but to me it's a bigger red flag when someone needs their partner to close off a larger part of a wide world out of insecurity.
  Disliking socializing alone with the opposite sex - without prior notice or approval from your SO - is perfectly respectable. 
  However, if my SO hasn't the trust in me to be loyal and isn't willing to build that trust under any circumstance then the relationship isn't for me.  Being perpetually frightened by the exploits of a fiction in one's head is so unattractive, I'd even call it repellant.
  I've had a few offers in my younger years to be a rebound/comfort hookup, and even a cheat for people I've met through friends.  I'm no longer friends with the person who wanted to cheat with me.
  It's absolutely not in me to get between people when I know at least one of the two considers themselves a pair, nor intentionally betray the expectations of my loved ones. >
  
  Everything according to Reddit is a red flag. >
  
  I have a ton of female friends. If a women said this to me, it shows they are insecure. Bye.
  Never gotten with any of my female friends, never tried to. They're attractive but we've just been friends for a long time, usually I met them when they were in relationships and then just being friends with them for so long and being there for them through their break-ups, especially when I'm also super close with their boyfriends/exes... just fucking weird. They're like sisters to me. 
  I also do fairly well with women so it's like, why would I get with them when I can get with anyone else lol. It's the women I'm not friends with you'd have to worry about. Plus my girlfriends have always helped me get laid, they make you look good to other women too so like why would I fuck that up. And on top of that, they're just awesome people that I value having friendships with and have been incredibly supportive of me through some crazy shit. >
  
  I would see this as disrespect and would bring this up, it’s so hard too when jealously and insecurity is thrown around so loosely and seen as such a vice >
  
  Being bisexual this is why society has locked me in a tower because I can't help but attempt to have sex with any person above the age of 18 at any time. They let me out one hour a day, but I can work remote and the running the stairs on the tower is great cardio. >
  
  How would having a best friend of the opposite sex be disrespecting. Are you not able to control your own behavior or thoughts? 
  Stupidest line ever. 
  
  that isn’t because we don’t trust each other, but rather because we respect each other.
  
  Respecting someone is not doing something that will break their trust. 
  So don't do anything? Seems simple enough, if you are unable to be in a friendship without behaving in a way that is disrespectful than you are the problem, but if you can than that isn't disrespectful. >
  
  I think hers is a very traditional religious viewpoint. I don't know if it's so much a lack of trust as it is a desire to give off the right appearance to their circle of church friends. Kind of like "Can you imagine what people would say if they saw my husband {insert any innocent activity} with another woman? It would be a huge scandal!" My mom is like this. My wife and I aren't religious and have thrown this mentality away. >
  
  If you can't trust your partner to have a friend of the opposite sex, then there is definitely some underlying issues at play.. >
  
  Honestly I can understand being uncomfortable with opposite sex best friends because I'm currently dating a guy who was 'just a friend' for 2 years. I think it's different when you're just dating but I think calling someone of the opposite sex your 'best friend' if you're in a heterosexual marriage would be really weird. It gets a bit more complicated if we're talking about, say, bisexual people. So it's a case by case thing but I do agree that opposite sex 'best friends' is a delicate situation >
  
  Same goes for homosexual relationships. I’d definitely be anxious about my partner being friends with other gay men, unless their relationship predates ours. >
  
  Friends? No. That’s crazy. Many gay men retain large networks or friends who are all gay men. You can’t expect most gay men to have no gay community outside their partner. That’s nuts.
  But “best friends”? Yeah…that would make me nervous. >
  
  This is definitely not something I would agree with, especially considering two of my (41F) best friends are men. One has been for nearly 20 years. We've never kissed, we've never cuddled, we've never seen each other naked, we've never done anything but be bros. Luckily, this isn't something my partner has any problem with. To say it's "disrespect" is weird. Maybe you might benefit from actually having friends so you can see how those relationships are in reality instead of assigning them some kind of negative label based on...what exactly? >
  
  Definitely a sign of your age. That's some real boomer shit. 
  Good job on posting an actual unpopular opinion >
  
  Tell me you're insecure without telling me you're insecure... >
  
  People who believe girls and guys can never be best friends without anything else involved, are usually the ones who are bad at dating. Or simply never learn how to understand the opposite gender. >
  
  What if best friend is a lesbian? >
  
  I really would love to hear OP’s thoughts on this as not everyone is straight. However I remember hearing a story where this woman’s boyfriend tried to insist that one of her guy friends who’s gay is just pretending to get into her pants. >
  
  I’m a lesbian and my best friend is a gay man 🤨 >
  
  In what way is it disrespectful to have a best friend of the opposite gender? >
  
  I don't feel like I could be in a serious relationship with someone who wants me to cut ties with any of my friends, regardless of their gender >
  
  Same. It’d come off like they’re trying to isolate me due to their own insecurities and set me up for abuse or something. >
  
  Reeks of psych abuse. Been there, never doing it again. >
  
  It's also a red flag if someone has zero friends of the opposite sex...would make me wonder what makes this man/woman repulsive enough to other women/men so as to not have any good friends of the opposite sex >
  
  Lmao just admit that you don't trust your husband, I feel sorry for the pair of you >
  
  I'm assuming bisexual people should just.... not have friends? >
  
  hermits on a mountain >
  
  The amount of people misconstruing OPs post to be dismissive of all friendships with the opposite sex is alarming. They’re strictly talking about “best friends”, and in 99% of “best friendships”, there is some underlying romantic feeling from at least one person whether youd like to admit it or not. Redditors live in a dream world and refuse to accept the fact that spending alone time with someone is how feelings develop and being proactive with your boundaries isnt insecurity, its being logical. This is why the majority of marriages end in divorce. Everyone calling you insecure for your boundaries are probably projecting and secretly have feelings for their best friend, or they’re an idiot who’s going to get cheated on >
  
  I feel like the popular interpretation of the term "best friend" in the comment section doesn't take the word "best" literally. That's something I disagree with. 
  What's the point of marrying someone if that person isn't going to be your best friend? Isn't your spouse supposed to be your most important person? Isn't that what the word best entails? On the other hand, what's the point of labeling a friend your "best friend" if you're not going to marry them? Are they really the "best" if you're not going to bond yourselves with romance and life partnership? >
  
  What if both of you are bisexual >
  
  Sounds like insecurities to me 🤷‍♂️ >
  
  Thank god my SO respects me enough to understand that I will not end my friendship with my best male friend of 25 years, just because they both happen to have a penis. >
  
  This is a post made by a straight person, for straight people. OP really needs to preface their post with that. >
  
  Dress it up how you like but the only reason you wouldn't let your partner be alone with someone of the opposite sex let alone have a friendship with them is because you're worried they'll cheat. And that's kinda sad imo >
  
  Yeah anyone who holds this opinion is insecure for that exact reason, someone who 100% trusts their partner wouldn’t try to police whom they can and can’t be friends with. >
  
  Are you sure you aren’t older than 56? >
  
  OP your partner SHOULD be your best friend and the problem starts there if they are not >
  
  I have never know a person to have a "best friend" of the opposite sex, who are both straight and attracted to the opposite sex, and have it work out positive for anyone in the end. Always some underlying thing that will come out eventually. 100% red flag. >
  
  Absolutely and I’m surprised this is even unpopular >
  
  On one hand I want to say it sounds extremely insecure but, if we take it literally its also kind of hard for me to imagine having a best friend other than my partner. My gf is my best friend and I wouldn't have it any other way. 
  Not taken literally, yeah she can have as many close guy friends as she wants. >
  
  I agree with OP. It's regularly that person they tell you "not to worry about" that they cheat on you with. Does it always happen? No. But it happens more than it should.
  Especially when it comes to a bunch of one on one time. If you're my gf and hanging out with a dude all the time that is going to make me uncomfortable. I'm sure my gf wouldn't feel great about me hanging out one on one with women either.
  You're allowed to feel uncomfortable with that. In fact most people are. Reddit isn't the real world >
  
  I half agree. It's not that I don't trust her, it's that I know exactly what's going on in her "Guy best friend" head. 
  Towards the end of the relationship we were talking on the phone and she said he showed up at her work with some Starbucks drink she likes. "I think he has a crush on me" she said.
  "Yeah, no shit" I thought. >
  
  Well having freinds with the opposite sex during a relationship is normal but once they talk too much, text alot, spend too much time together and start choosing the friend over their partner then that is a red flag. >
  
  I agree on this. In my experience >
  
  You haven't given me a reason why not.
  You say trust isn't the reason but what other reason could there be?
  This isn't an unpopular opinion. This is a dated opinion. The majority over 50 feel this way. I suspect because they grew up with gender roles and were raised to believe their purpose was to find a partner and start a family. Things have changed. Women are respected outside of their former social roles now.
  You grew up believing it's "respectful," but it's not. That's a construction you grew up believing. If you respected each other you wouldn't control who each other is platonic with. >
  
  Can we stop with all the best friend of the opposite sex posts? Happens every other day, it’s annoying and discussions in the comments are always a dumpster fire. Your post is especially pathetic though. You don’t even socialize with the opposite sex - what about coworkers for example? And if you both trust and respect each other where is the fucking problem actually >
  
  Jesus fuck that's an unpopular opinion for sure.
  That's a level of insecurity that's unfortunately all too common. >
  
  This is more disrespect towards your partner than it is respect in my eyes. Like let's say you went into a relationship and said their friend was a deal breaker, not considering gender here, it sounds alot dumber. Because it is the same thing. >
  
  This post is actually a serious red flag. Youre trying to restrict who your partner is friends with which is one of the first signs of an abuser (not saying you are, im saying this is a sign)
  Also, if im any kind of multisexual, am I just supposed to not have any best friends at all? Im pretty sure you didnt think that far >
  
  Here’s my take.
  First of all, we should address that two things are possible. One, it is possible that someone can have a platonic best friend that doesn’t cross the boundaries of your relationship. The degree to which that occurs is debatable, but it’s possible. On the contrary, it is very possible that someone cheats on you with their platonic best friend. It may even be possible that you trusted your partner 100% and still got cheated on. It’s not like everyone who gets cheated on thinks “Yep, I definitely saw that one coming.”
  Secondly, we should recognize that there isn’t a one size fits all to relationships. Your relationship is whatever you want to make of it. You can set whatever boundaries you like as long as both people agree to them. Some people prefer very exclusive relationships in which having a platonic best friend is a no go. If both parties agree with that, I don’t see it as problematic. Others on the other end of the spectrum are polyamorous and have little concern with whom their partner associates with and how close their relationship is. The point is that in both of these scenarios, people set mutual boundaries that both people in the relationship agreed to. If you’d like to have a platonic best friend, but your partner sees that as crossing your relationship boundaries, you’re just not compatible. There’s nothing wrong with having boundaries like that as long as they’re agreed upon and applied equally to both in the relationship.
  Some may say that not allowing platonic friends is a sign of insecurity, and yeah, it is. Insecurity is why boundaries are set in a relationship in the first place. Why do so many people not allow their partners to have sex with other people? They get jealous, they feel less special, they want them all to themselves. You set that boundary to feel more secure. If two people want to extend such a boundary to not being able to have very close platonic friends, I don’t see it as a problem. >
  
  You would rule out half the population for friendship because of their genitals!? 
  If you’re bisexual would you be allowed no best friends??
  Crazy.
  If you trust your partner it doesn’t matter if their best friends have tits or not, surely >
  
  My grandmas partner is still good friends with his ex wife and no one has a problem with that. Limiting your pool of potential friendships in half by some inconsequential factor like gender is just stupid >
  
  A really unpopular opinion lol but I have a feeling these guys need to get their shit together, sounds like a toxic and controlling relationship >
  
  No....no its not. If you trust your partner and they arent a cheating piece of scum, they should be able to have whatever friends they want. >
  
  100 % right. How can people not agree?
  Note that OP says BEST FRIEND ffs. >
  
  Believe it or not, but some people absolutely can have platonic friendships with the opposite gender, especially when there is boundaries established from the get go. Out of billions of people, not everyone will fall in the same destined rate of, ‘it’s impossible to be friends; they want something.’
  One of my very best friends (and first friends) was a guy, he use to come around my house all the time when I was a kid, and I would be over at his.
  I know all his passwords (when we were younger), he would give me ride homes, so would his mom, blah, blah, blah.
  In our entire friendship (of over a decade) he felt nothing like family to me. He didn’t ever not once get sexual with me. We didn’t even hug, neither did we “flirt” talk to each other.
  People assumed we were boyfriend & girlfriend in High School because of our closeness; but nope. Wasn’t fucking him, no intimacy, and I guess that shocked people.
  To double it down, I introduced him to my female bestie, she had the exact same experiences as I did. 
  Presently, we’re no longer friends — after I fell out with my same-gender bestie, and he took her side evidently. But they’re still friends last time I heard, and she met her SO via his friend.
  The only “trouble” I had with him was High School years there was bumps. A girl he dated (whom I not met) made him weird towards me, second girlfriend as well.
  But I highly doubt he’s ever had feelings for me, especially since we don’t talk anymore.
  What I do believe in is though, that both individuals MAY develop brief crush feelings (confusion) at different stages (and usually not at the same timing) at one point, but that quickly fades. >
  
  Upvote for unpopular. 
  This will work for some people and not for others. But reading your responses and other comments is definitely concerning, and raising many other potential 'red flags'. >
  
  Definitely unpopular. 🍿 >
  
  This is indeed; unpopular. >
  
  only way this works if both people do not find each other sexually attractive…period…. >
  
  46 year old woman here. I do understand where you're coming from. But as someone who was married to an abusive person, I may have a slightly different perspective. See, one thing some abusers do (including my ex) is try to isolate you. Try to pull you away from your friends and family so they won't be there to support you when you need to leave. So they won't be there to confirm that you are, in fact, being gaslit. So now I'm really touchy towards anyone who wants me to give up a friend for any reason. And at my age, at least for me, my sex drive is pretty low. So I'm not going to cheat on my boyfriend. Sex with 1 guy is plenty. I just don't ever want to lose my support network. >
  
  Abuse is totally different, and no one should be isolated. I’m so glad you got away from him. My husband and I have many friends of both sexes, but we don’t spend one on one social time with the opposite sex. We do a lot of things in groups and as couples. One reason is because of my husband’s high profile job, where he needs to be above any suspicion of inappropriate behavior.
  Off the subject, but your age doesn’t need to mean you have to have a low sex drive. I hope you find the perfect spouse and that part of you gets fired up again.  You deserve a wonderful partner! >
  
  Half the people in this thread glossing over the word “best”. If your long-term partner isn’t also your best friend you’re with the wrong person >
  
  TIL most people have very fragile relationships. >
  
  An actual unpopular opinion!  
  Anyway yeah this is a terrible take. If you don't trust your husband, you shouldn't be with him. That simple >
  
  As a bisexual woman would I be allowed no best friends ? Also the last girl I was talking to was also bi so if we got together I guess we’d have zero best friends lol >
  
  OP, I’m even older than you, and I totally agree. I think it is very rare that a man and woman can be just friends.  
  I hear from younger people on the Internet, mainly, about people being just friends with the opposite sex. And I guess a part of it could be how you define friend. If they are just a part of your friend group, that’s one thing.  if you do things together one on one, that’s a different thing.
  In my experience, That just ain’t gonna happen. And I don’t believe human nature changes in two generations. >
  
  human nature don't change, reddit is composed of a small minority of ppl whose opinions don't reflect society's actual norms. >
  
  Your partner should be your best friend. If you have a best friend of the sex which you are not attracted to, then that’s fine. But a guy or girl shouldn’t be in a relationship and have a “boy best friend” or “girl best friend”. That’s just dumb >
  
  my two longest, consistent friendships are women. they've always been there for me, since I was a teenager. If that's a red flag I'll stay single lol >
  
  My best friend is female, I'm a straight male. Any partner I have knows this and will have to deal with it, there's no sexual or romantic attraction between us, we're basically siblings. My partner is always my best friend too, but so too is my friend.
  Now, if there was flirting or something from her, yes, I'd understand dropping her or it being a red flag. But there isn't. >
  
  Maybe because some people pick their friends based on their character and not what’s between their legs? Not sure what’s so hard to get about that. Most of my friends are guys and I haven’t even so much as flirted with any of them even in a joking manner because, boundaries. Even when I’m single I don’t. What you’re describing sounds a lot more like you don’t trust each other due to your own insecurities causing you to feel threatened and less like you “respect” each other. >
  
  Agreed. I’ve honestly never even seen a case of this where the “best friend” isn’t a current/previous fuck buddy either. >
  
  I tried saying this and was told I was a controlling monster. Ok Brad be ok with your gf going out with her “friend” without you. I’m sure nothing is going on. Yeah right.
  Edit: the people downvoting just a guess here have never had the pleasure of being cheated on. How do I know you wouldn’t want your gf going out with her “friend” you guessed it I was getting cheated on.
  Edit 2: why should I be surprised at the downvotes? I could say I love beautiful kittens and someone would disagree >
  
  Has anyone checked the divorce statistics lately? Or the percentage of infidelity in relationships? I agree wholeheartedly with the op. It’s her right to have her own opinion. Yes, you should trust your partner enough to have friends of the opposite sex, but it is definitely a red flag. Won’t go into details, but been round the block a few times and though not all people are the same but if you go to the barbershop enough times, you most likely will eventually get a haircut >
  
  Is it your age, or are you just possessive and possibly a bit jealous? Do you see other women as competition? Does he see other men as competition? It's not a red flag. Humans make friends with other humans. What their gender or genitalia has to do with them being friends is neither here nor there. It sounds like you're both insecure and have labelled it 'respect' to make yourselves feel better. >
  
  Honestly, what is a “best friend”? That’s a term usually the people use when they’re very young. When I refer to somebody who is a friend I often say that person is “one of my best friends” to imply this is not just an acquaintance this is somebody who I have some history with but most people in their 50s don’t have a best friend anymore. Female or male. >
  
  what does it matter what gender they are;  cuz men and women can't be just friends? that hasn't been my experience. in fact my ex trusted me so much she didn't bat an eyelash when i shared a hotel room with my best friend. you can have my upvote tho. >
  
  I feel sorry for your husband >
  
  If you dont trust the person you're dating, then why are you dating them? Its okay to have friends outside of the relationship . If shes sleeping in the same bed as you every night and youre jealous of her having a friend. You have a problem. >
  
  Yeah, sign of age. >
  
  I feel bad for your husband. >
  
  The way OP think is a major red flag. Just say you have trust issues and/or have no friends and move on. >
  
  I consider this attitude a major red flag. Couldn't disagree more. >
  
  Its just you.  Not everyone has to be the same.  For some people this is totally normal.   Others not.   Why does everyone always want everyone to be the same as them?  Do you want to live in a world of robots? >
  
  This is a classic OP post an unpopular opinion and self righteous people forget what sub this is and get mad and preach because it isn't a popular opinion. >
  
  this sounds extremely insecure >
  
  Lol wtf. Legit live with my bf's best friends, m & f. The two of them are dating. They're also my best friends. And you know who else is my best friend? My boyfriend! You can have multiple best friends >
  
  Lol take my upvote for unpopular opinion. But, seriously though, that's not a healthy mindset. >
  
  I think your absolutely correct OP. I also agree, it's insanely unpopular, too. >
  
  If I was OP’s spouse, I would have divorced OP a long time ago. >
  
  You're a red flag for suggesting this. You should talk to your therapist about your insecurities on this topic. My significant other, 7 years at the moment, has a best friend which is the opposite sex. They have a snap streak, they talk a lot and I don't fucking care as I trust she won't do shit with him. If you can't trust your partner then either your partner is the problem from past incidents or you're the problem. >
  
  Gender alone shouldn’t be a discriminating factor. My ex had a female best friend, and they were so clearly friends that I never felt uncomfortable about their relationship at all. No reason to make a big deal out of something that isn’t. I had to talk to my husband about his female friend though, because she was very clearly into him. I’d feel the same way if she were a gay man. >
  
  Honestly this post is a red flag. >
  
  I respect and trust my husband. His best friend is a woman and I have no problem with it. At all. >
  
  It’s not your age just your belief. I am married and with the same woman for 36 years now and I am your age or thereabouts. Same sex best friends doesn’t bother either one of us.  Personally we think segregating adults by sex is weird.  But to each there own.  I am thankful my wife isn’t the jealous type and she is thankful I am not either, but I do know couples who feel loved when their partner feels jealously and it works for them. >
  
  Completely agree with you, thank you for being a sane voice in an insane world! >
  
  Nah, he's gay, we're good. >
  
  Lol y'all don't even have friends of other genders?! That's fucking nuts highschool controlly immature shit to me. >
  
  I reckon that if we switched shoes you'd be out your habit. Or something.
  ​
  I'm allowed to have my best friend. >
  
  Human beings can be friends with other human beings regardless of gender. Not every man wants to have sex with every woman and not every woman wants to have sex with any man. I genuinely don't see what is so difficult to understand here. >
  
  The biggest red flag in this post is your shallowness and trust issues. Still though, upvoted for an actually unpopular opinion. >
  
  This is only unpopular on reddit, work friends are the only acceptable opposite sex friends. >
  
  Even that isn't okay. Haven't you heard of the saying, "work husband". Its a very real thing. It's better to be respectful to your partner and nip it right away. >
  
  I wholeheartedly agree with OP. It'd be an easy bullet to dodge for BOTH parties imo. >
  
  upvoted for unpopular opinion, sounds like insecurity to me. >
  
  My souose IS my best friend. Thats how it should be.
  Tbh I don't need any other friends >
  
  There are exceptions to every rule, but by and large op is right. And it’s also kind of common sense too. But common sense isn’t that common >
  
  All of these comments saying otherwise is a red flag 😂 I completely agree with you OP and I’m in my twenties. No trust issues either, and my fiancé feels the same way. Reddit is a hive mind and if you don’t have the majority opinion, you’re chastised. >
  
  Don’t have anything against me or my girlfriend having a friend of the opposite gender. I totally understand you though. My parents are slightly above your age and I learnt from them that back in the 60s friendship between opposite genders was immoral. 
  Now, when sex is accessible way more easier it isn’t valued as much and a so forbidden fruit. Thanks to that people actually shifted their focus from getting sex at each opportunity to relax and just… Socialize. :) Not every man wants to have sex with every woman and vice versa. 
  The only thing that triggers me is friendly sleepovers when my partner is one on one with her male friend. I trust her, but I don’t have such a faith in her friends, so we agreed to not stay alone at night with friends of opposite genders. >
  
  Damn, guess I must be cheating on my partner.
  Tf is this old fashioned schoolyard opinion? Men can't be friends with girls because GAAAAASP it just simply isn't done.
  Bruh.
  P.S, I think you may be just a liiiittle bit insecure. >
  
  Big yikes. Truly an unpopular opinion. >
  
  Conversely, is it a red flag when couples insist, or just say, (they don’t have a best friend because) their significant other their best friend?
  I mean, you kinda can’t win >
  
  I want to agree but can’t. My fiancé works with a woman, is friends with her but doesn’t talk to her outside of work really. He’s … “best” friends with a transwoman (thing happened, being worked on). I on the other hand talk to three other guys mainly; two I’ve known since middle school and one is like a brother to me and the other we’re just send memes to each other here and there, maybe actively engage ina the conversation a few times a week. The third I don’t talk to much anymore as he’s pretty busy but we were good friends in high school. >
  
  I think the problem there lays inside both of your insecuritys. 
  It could be both of you being afraid of being alone or maybe even just plain jealousy. 
  If you've found the only member of the opposite sex you click with ever ever I would call that a bit of a problem. 
  Could even be a problem to do with both of you going to non mixed schools lol. 
  I used to be in a relationship like this. I used to feel like this with someone. It was toxic and tiring. >
  
  OP, did you forget that gay and bi people exist? >
  
  Oh boy, this is so weird. My only two close friends are women I've known from childhood. What would you have me do? >
  
  Insecure >
  
  Idk I’m 32 and my best friend is a guy. He’s gay as hell but still 😂 >
  
  It depends on the circumstances.  I didn't get together with my SO until we were a little older.  So he has friends from before we met.  One is a woman that he talks with frequently. They have never dated. Most of the time it's on Facebook and sometimes on the phone.  I don't care at all.   I'm glad he has someone to talk with.  Of course it doesn't hurt that she lives over 300 miles away. >
  
  Straight male, my best friend is a woman i've known since childhood. Both have been single at times and later engaged. No issues. >
  
  Oh fuck,  what a messed up way to walk through life. >
  
  When I met my partner my best friend of six years was a male, granted since he refused to meet my partner we only chatted over the phone every couple of months, for a couple years at which point he confessed he was in love with me. I told my partner and cut contact.
  I do think it’s still possible to have friends of the opposite sex as long as your partner knows when and can cut contact if need be >
  
  Also I don't know why two people of the opposite sex being friends should be deemed 'inappropriate behaviour' >
  
  This isn't an unpopular opinion unfortunately it's a pretty popular dumb opinion. Friendships are just that that friends nothing more nothing less. >
  
  My lady friends were part of my gf screening process. They were terrible at it because the just approved of everyone that made me happy.  I grew up around mostly girls. Some of them are now basically aunts to my daughters. 
  If this is a red flag it sounds like those involved aren't committed or aren't mature enough for a relationship. Still, doesn't hurt to want to know either way. >
  
  Case by case. I’m lucky to say my mom and dad are the happiest couple I know, they’ve been married for 25 years, my mom’s best friend is a guy. They’ve been friends since childhood, he’s married now w a kid of his own. We now live in countries 10+ hours away by flight, but it was never an issue. My dad and him became friends shortly after my dad and mom started dating, never been any problems.
  Not every case is like this, but there are plenty like this >
  
  Oh boy, just wait until you hear about bisexuals who date bisexuals >
  
  My bestfriend is M(34) and I'm F(33). We are basically twins and we have been living parallel lives since being friends. We have helped each other in hard times with relationships, with our families, SO's, work, and we have many things creatively that we have in common. Our partners know each other and we consider them family. Our kid even calls my bestfriend and his wife, Aunt and Uncle. 
  My partner trusts me and vice versa. My friendship with my male bestfriend has more to do with my village. I don't have a ton of family support, my husband and I don't have many friends for support. I appreciate the purely platonic relationship we have built over the years. 
  Your opinion is very unpopular within the millennial mindset. >
  
  Imagine being such a miserable person that your partner is cut off from half of humanity simply because you are insecure, and demand this as ~~tribute~~ "respect."  Is it driven by fear (or knowledge) that if they spend more than a few minutes with someone - anyone - of the opposite sex, they will realize that life doesn't have to be miserable?  That some people are nice, kind, and respectful of you as a person, not an appendage?  I don't know, but I just can't see that as anything other than extremely toxic. >
  
  I can give a teenager a pass for cheating when they’re young and dumb but any adult who cheats is a complete shithead. I wouldn’t marry a shithead and if they cheat it’s better for me to find out I married a shithead and divorce them than go my whole life getting not cheated on because I police my spouse’s life so heavily that they don’t have a chance to cheat and show their true colors. Cheating is a lack of respect, honor, and resolve issue. It’s much better to marry someone you think has the good sense and willpower not to cheat and live a comfortable life with them not worrying about it than think respecting each other means cutting off contact with half of the earths population. You’ve definitely got an unpopular opinion though I’ll give you that. >
  
  Don’t blame this in your age. I’m 49, which isn’t that far behind you. Blame this on the incredibly small world you live in and the terribly close-minded world that you live in. My best friend is a woman. She’s not a threat to anybody that I date. In fact, she’s usually their best advocate l.  Once she determines that they aren’t a terrible person, she’s the first one that calls me on my shit and makes sure that I’m treating them fairly. And none of them women my age or older that I date are threatened by her because they aren’t insecure, aren’t un-worldly and haven’t been brainwashed by small-minded people. >
  
  I couldn't imagine being so jealous as to consider my partner having a friend the same sex as me "disrespectful", trust aside. Best friend and partner can be different roles, as you acknowledge, I really don't see why sex matters there >
  
  I’ve been married for eight years (second marriage) and my guy best friend has been so for almost 30 years. There’s never been anything physical, and it’s gross to even think about. If my husband didn’t want me to be friends with him, he wouldn’t have been my husband. >
  
  My wife's best friend is a raging gay man. It's cool. >
  
  I am a 58 year old female and have been married for 34 years. During my entire marriage I have also had a male best friend. We have known each other since day 1 of high school. I would never have dropped a friend for a then boyfriend and now husband. 
  My husband knows that he always comes first and never has to worry if I am faithful. I am sorry for those who feel that men and women can't be " friends". >
  
  "Oh, you've been best friends with him since he was five and he is gay? He is also your distant cousin? Don't care. You have to choose." The real red flag here is that you can't trust your partner to be around people of the opposite sex. >
  
  
  As a matter of fact, my husband and I don’t even socialize alone with members of the opposite sex, and that isn’t because we don’t trust each other, but rather because we respect each other.
  
  Narrator: they, infact, did not trust each other. >
  
  If you love and respect each other why does them being opposite sex matter unless one of you crosses the boundaries then you walk away >
  
  I don’t 100% disagree but it’s definitely a case by case basis. My boyfriend has a girl best friend. I met them both around the same time through a different mutual friend and they’ve never given me weird vibes or like there was more than just a platonic friendship between the two of them. I got cool with both of them separately and my boyfriend and I began dating two years after that initial meet up. We can hang out as a group or they can hang out alone and I’m never concerned or worried that’s something is up. There is a mutual respect and boundaries between them that I think makes sense. I don’t see her as a threat and have my own friendship with her. I wouldn’t be OK with it if I didn’t know their dynamic beforehand or if anything weird had ever gone on with them. She doesn’t make things awkward. When we hang out it really just feels like a group of friends because at the end of the day that’s what we are since that’s how this all began. So I trust him and I trust her. Now, if my boyfriend suddenly became close friends with a girl after we dated then I would find that weird and probably wouldn’t be okay with it.
  But now that I’m on the subject- the dynamic of their relationship did change which I think is normal and happens with a lot of friendships including same sex ones when someone gets in a relationship. They used to communicate more often and go out to eat, shopping, clubs together but now that happens less or I end up joining lol but I’m okay when they do. It wasn’t something that was spoken about it kind of just happened. Another reason why I respect their relationship. If something was up she would definitely had made her jealousy known or be upset if he tells her no to plans >
  
  I would never tell my significant other they couldn't have a friend of the opposite sex...but with that said, if someone is going to cheat, it doesn't matter who their friends are... also...I know how guys think and I truly believe that if a woman texted a guy and said "come over right now and lets have sex or let me give you head"...9 times out of 10 the guy would say yes, regardless of her relationship status...and that is why the distrust is always there in the back of most guys minds...people who say otherwise are generally lying to themselves or in denial... >
  
  I mean god damn this is an unpopular opinion. It’s unpopular because it’s dumb as hell. But it is unpopular op >
  
  I'm sorry to tell you this OP, but YOU are the red flag for thinking people in relationships can't be bestfriends with people of the opposite sex. If you love your partner, trust them not to cheat on you. All relationships, even platonic ones are built on trust. Cheaters will cheat whether or not they have bestfriends of the opposite sex. If they really love you, they will stick to you no matter what and NOT cheat. But keeping your partner or anyone from making friends just because they have a relationship with you is SUPER unhealthy. >
  
  Genuine unpopular opinion but is also just straight incorrect. >
  
  This will depend on each person. But more often than not, Ive seen guys and girls get burned with being too liberal with this. >
  
  Clearly this person posted an unpopular opinion, in a place designed for them. 
  You don't have to shit on them. Chill out. >
  
  My best friend is of the opposite sex. We are best friends because we both lost our dads at a young age. When you’re 15, there aren’t that many members of the Dead Dad Club so it’s really nice to have someone that can relate. 
  My husband is very respectful of our friendship, so much so that my bestie was the officiant at our wedding. I was very clear with my husband from the day we met about my relationship with my friend, and we trust each other. There’s never been any issues about my best friend being the opposite sex. >
  
  
  . As a matter of fact, my husband and I don’t even socialize alone with members of the opposite sex, and that isn’t because we don’t trust each other, but rather because we respect each other.
  
  What?
  
  , but if my husband, at any time, had a female best friend other than me, the relationship would have ended - I wouldn’t have even married him.
  
  Bruh... >
  
  My wife has a male best friend, he was there before me, its no new male friends though.. but if they were there before what can ya do.. >
  
  I love my girlfriend with all my heart, gonna propose this October.
  A good friend of mine, who's a girl, considers me her best friend (and she's one of mine). I'm also really good friends with her boyfriend, they're both fantastic together. >
  
  I've been best friends with a man for 16 years. I went to his wedding this summer. He's going to mine next summer. Platonic friendships exist. >
  
  I’m 70, and American and frankly, I’ve always thought that Americans in particular were being too  uptight about having friends (best or otherwise) of the opposite sex. We are all human and I don’t think friendship between a male and a female absolutely has to lead to  sex. It’s naive, sophomoric, and narrow minded. You’re going to close yourself off from half the human race because you’re in a romantic relationship?  That’s screwed up and probably based in insecurity. >
  
  I would be mindful in that situation. A man and a woman in a committed relationship have partnered for the purpose of making themselves “best friends”. 
  People can be fickle, and if someone else can be their “best friend”. Who’s to say they can be trusted? It is, after all, a matter of trust. 
  It is not my intention to make someone paranoid, I would just be very careful. >
  
  This feels as if it’s an opinion of an insecure person more than anything. >
  
  I think of it more like this.
  In a serious relationship, your partner should be the member of the opposite sex you're most invested in. If that person is someone else, even if there's nothing going on romantically, it will cause problems.
  Consider Donna and Harvey from Suits. They were platonic, and for most of the show's run, neither one wanted more. And yet none of their romantic relationships with other people survived because they were more invested in each other than they were in anyone else. >
  
  I think this is silly (although a great unpopular opinion!). I have friends of both genders and have my whole life. I don't want my partner to be the only chance I have to chat with an ENTIRE GENDER. There's lots of cool people out there, some men, some women, some non-binary. I don't have any interest in missing out on the potential to be friends with roughly half of them because of my partners jealousy. 
  And anyone who says this isn't because of jealousy is deluding themselves. There can be reasons beyond that, but it always comes back to it. >
  
  I can't say that I agree that this is a red flag. It depends on how the relationship is. Men and women have platonic friendships all the time. If there's no reason for me to worry, I won't worry. My partner extends this same trust to me. Hell, I could go on a trip with my female best friend, stay in the same hotel room and my girlfriend would still sleep like a baby knowing that we're 100% not fooling around. >
  
  Mother and Mike Pence have entered the chat.
  No way I’m giving up my BF since birth for any insecure partner. That’s like asking to give up my brother. If my husband doesn’t trust me he’s projecting so that’s an automatic red flag. >
  
  Some of my longest and bestest friends are women. If I started dating a woman, they'd have to vet her and "approve" her- not the other way around. >
  
  Agree with OP here but times have changed >
  
  This is cringe, and definitely a result of age. Glad we are moving forward away from this backwards, insecure thinking. >
  
  If you don't think a man and a woman can be just friends, then you're the problem >
  
  I wholeheartedly disagree, I see this as an irrational insecurity and a need for control. It's self preservation.
  Some people have the capacity to cheat, some don't. And keeping away a partner away from the opposite sex isn't going to change that. They'll find a way, better to find out sooner than never. >
  
  I disagree. I dated a woman who would not let me spend time with my female friends, including confirmed lesbians in serious relationships. I think it’s more of a red flag when you don’t trust your partner. >
  
  As someone who is non-binary & pansexual, I don't understand this at all. For my partner & I, friends can be anyone regardless of their gender. The idea of controlling what gender your partner/spouse/etc can be friends with just makes me feel uncomfortable. So I'd say it would be a red flag for me if someone I was with romantically wanted to control who I could be friends with. I'd like to say I was raised differently, but I wasn't. My parents had the OP's views, but I just never really understood the reasoning behind it. 💜 >
  
  My husband is a nurse. If I got bothered by him having female friends, he would have no friends. All throughout med school and all throughout his career he has and, will have, mostly female coworkers. I don’t care. He has never once made me feel like insecure about it. 
  I myself am bisexual. Should I have no friends at all? That kind of boundary of having no close friend of the opposite sex, (or in my case both sex’s), just isn’t realistic. >
  
  Lol maybe if ur 12 >
  
  straight people are fucking weirdos >
  
  Lol this is one of those opinions that’s severely unpopular on Reddit.
  In reality, dads don’t have best friends that are women and it’s not a generation thing >
  
  I saw a guy post almost this exact same thing and got so much hate he deleted it and his account. >
  
  Someone who makes you cutoff friendships is a FAR bigger red flag. If you actually trusted your partner there would be no issue.
  What about gay people? Can they not have same sex best friends? Are bisexuals just completely fucked? >
  
  “It’s not a trust issue” 
  literally doesn’t trust husband to have girl friends cuz he might fuck them >
  
  I’m a woman who has a lot of guy friends, my personality just meshed with them more and I’ve been hurt by far more women ‘friends’ than men to seek out their company.
  Edit: Also I’m not the jealous type so I don’t care who my partner talks to in turn. >
  
  Nah, it's not. My girl has a best friend who's a man and I've got one who's a woman. Got to have trust and respect in the relationship. >
  
  My opinion: this whole post is a much bigger red flag than having a friend of the opposite sex ( which doesn't even exist for me, I'm nonbinary) >
  
  I’m a man.
  My best friend since I was in high school is a woman.
  If any partner of mine has an issue with that and doesn’t trust me then that’s fine. But I’m not ditching my best friend for a relationship just because they’re a woman.
  Are you even consistent about this? Are bisexual people allowed to have any friends if they’re in a relationship? Are gay people in relationships only allowed to have friends of the other sex? If someone has a best friend of the same sex and that friend transitions, do they now have to ditch them? >
  
  my best friend is a female and she is lesbian. nothing romantic or sexual happens between us. we get along really well. she supports my relationship, and if she wasn't single i'd support hers too. >
  
  Thinking like this is a MUCH bigger red flag >
  
  That seems really untrusting of your partner, my wife has guy friends, their also my friends, we all know eachother from back in the day anyhow, wouldn’t matter regardless >
  
  That is really insecure and childish, so much that I'm surprised it's coming from someone who should be mature enough to realize just how insecure and childish that is. 
  
  and that isn’t because we don’t trust each other, but rather because we respect each other.
  
  Lol no, that shows neither trust nor respect. It's actually incredibly disrespectful.
  So, upvoted. Actual unpopular (and actually bad) opinion. >
  
  My girlfriend is a lesbian and her best friend is a girl.... What's your opinion on that? 
  I'm bisexual. No matter the gender of my best friend, am I going to be attracted to them??? 
  Your argument is silly. >
  
  Well fuck a duck! What do I tell my best friend of 15 years? >
  
  I can't tell of this lady's for real or if this is just a copypasta lol >
  
  Each time I read this kind of stuff I think about how fucked bisexuals would be if they thought like this >
  
  I (44F) refuse to be in another relationship that demands I cannot be friends with my hetero male friends. I am an adult, I date other adults. If my future partners cannot accept my friends as that are and how they are, I won’t date them. My friends, male and female, have been by my side for years and they will stay there.