comment: >
  
  Yes you will:
  Dennis Perkins pleaded guilty Tuesday to rape, two counts of sexual battery of a child under the age of 13, video voyeurism and two counts of child pornography. He also pleaded guilty to one count of mingling harmful substances for the cupcake incident.
  In total, he and his former wife were reportedly indicted on 150 sex crime-related charges, according to reports.
context: Laced with his 'DNA'? Wow fuck you, it was his SEMEN. 
  Nice try to spin it. >
  
  If the headline was all that happened - it was just DNA, and that was the whole story - this would be an absurdly severe sentence.
  In fact, as you say, it was semen in the cupcakes - and also,
  
  Dennis Perkins pleaded guilty Tuesday to rape, two counts of sexual battery of a child under the age of 13, video voyeurism and two counts of child pornography. He also pleaded guilty to one count of mingling harmful substances for the cupcake incident.
  In total, he and his former wife were reportedly indicted on 150 sex crime-related charges, according to reports.
  
  Perkins and his wife are filth and deserve to rot in prison. >
  
  What the fuck. The cupcake incident isn't the headline here. >
  
  I guess they’re using it because it’s a distinctive aspect of the case. 
  You know, to distinguish these two from all the other child rapists. 
  Ugh. >
  
  No it's just common way to write click bait title. Use one of the lesser crimes and the highest punishment to make people wonder how is it possible and click. >
  
  That's what they said when they referred to it being a "distinctive aspect of the case." We all know how clickbait works. >
  
  But distinctive could mean extremely heinous as well. Like if I robbed a man on the surface of the sun that would be the headline but it would also be the most newsworthy thing to talk about initially. This one is obfuscating the truth of the situation. >
  
  "It’s not about me. I just want to make the statement: Jesus Christ has forgiven me. I’m grateful for that."
  Jesus Christ has determined that was a lie. >
  
  I occasionally listen to a true crime podcast, and whenever someone finds Jesus in prison, the hosts always joke about how it's "just that easy", and now they get to spend eternity in heaven... with their victims. >
  
  Oh jfc ew I never put that together before. >
  
  Christianity also tends to have a thing about doing X,Y,Z and your sins will be forgiven and I imagine that draws them to it as well and feeds into getting to see their victims in the afterlife fantasy 🤢. 
  Just say a few Hail Marys, do a bunch of prayers, read some of the bible, and you will be back in god's good graces again no matter what sin or wrong you committed 🙄. >
  
  Cloud man forgives all! >
  
  I love the proclamation of "Jesus has forgiven me!" >
  
  Dude, Christians are fucking wild. This guy died on a cross 2000 years ago so that means I can do whatever I want as long as I say sorry before I die. (Not all Christians obviously, but there's a lot of whack-a-doo Christians). >
  
  “Jesus Christ has forgiven me” 🙄 >
  
  "It’s not about me. I just want to make the statement: Jesus Christ has forgiven me. I’m grateful for that. I hope and pray that anybody that this has affected would also find forgiveness and healing through Jesus Christ.”
  Oh, please fuck off. If Jesus were alive today and knew what this guy did, he'd smack the shit out of him and get his dad to magic his cock out of existence.  Absolute scum. >
  
  American Evangelicals rationalize all their abhorrent behavior by claiming they have been saved. I’m with you, it’s disgusting. >
  
  Not only are this man and his wife disgusting abominable people, the headline is assanine. He is a child molester and pedophile. He was charged with rape of a child. Those are the salient points here. His wife is a school teacher who GAVE THE CHILDREN THE CUPCAKES AT SCHOOL? OMG! They both deserve to stay in prison forever. >
  
  I wonder how many people would not have opened the article if the title didn’t mention the DNA?!?
  Click bait title >
  
  Cum, he feed them his cum. Cum has DNA in it but it was cum. >
  
  And it is described as a “harmful substance” in the charges. >
  
  Don't be that, don't be that, don't be that.
  Opens article
  It's that. >
  
  I mean, everyone knew that he is not getting a life sentence because he put his hair or spit on them. 
  PS: Yes, I know the life sentence is for all those 150 sex crime-related charges. >
  
  How does one get caught doing this, are they stupid enough to brag about it? Are the victims able to figure it out by the taste? I need details >
  
  Wasn't all what he did. That was just the icing of the cake...
  
  Dennis Perkins pleaded guilty Tuesday to rape, two counts of sexual battery of a child under the age of 13, video voyeurism and two counts of child pornography. He also pleaded guilty to one count of mingling harmful substances for the cupcake incident.
  In total, he and his former wife were reportedly indicted on 150 sex crime-related charges, according to reports. >
  
  
  That was just the icing of the cake...
  
  /r/Angryupvote >
  
  Wait, was he a “former” police officer when he had access to the children? >
  
  
  Perkins, who had been with the Sheriff’s office since 2002, had been the  commander of the agency’s SWAT unit, the newspaper reported.
  
  Interesting that a serial child rapist can be surrounded by cops all day every day and just fit right in like he belongs there. >
  
  Everything I’ve ever cooked is “laced with my DNA”. What a stupid headline.
  What the pig did is despicable, of course. Just criticizing the writing. >
  
  The writing is fine. It's the headline that sucks. Journalists don't usually write their own headlines. >
  
  Nice way to minimize his real offenses, it was the child sexual offenses that he did, not the cup cake wanking >
  
  Laced with his cum. Don’t diminished what he did. >
  
  Did they get off on this?  Or find it funny?  Whatever it is, it's fucking crazy. >
  
  "In total, he and his former wife were reportedly indicted on 150 sex crime-related charges, according to reports."
  Yeah I'm going with the first option. It's okay though because Jesus forgives him you know /s >
  
  I love how the title is so misleading. It says that the cupcakes were "laced with his DNA", but then we find out his semen was baked into the cupcakes. >
  
  It's also made out to look like he got life in prison only for that act. Nah, he was straight up fucking kids as well. >
  
  I was wondering about that as well, but our justice system has been known to do some odd stuff in the past. >
  
  Dennis Perkins pleaded guilty Tuesday to rape, two counts of sexual battery of a child under the age of 13, video voyeurism and two counts of child pornography. He also pleaded guilty to one count of mingling harmful substances for the cupcake incident.
  In total, he and his former wife were reportedly indicted on 150 sex crime-related charges, according to reports.
  The headline could use some work >
  
  The thing that burns me up is when he says that Jesus has forgiven him.
  That’s one of the main reasons I left Christianity,  the lack of accountability.  Just ask for Gods forgiveness and you have it. 
  I like the Jewish idea of forgiveness,  If you sin against another person ( commandments 3-8), you
  must atone to the person you sinned against before God will forgive you ( murder is unforgivable). >
  
  What the fuck is wrong with a person to make them even think of doing something like this? Jesus fucking Christ >
  
  What the fuck is wrong with some people. >
  
  What a terrible headline. I spent a good 30 seconds trying to figure out why life imprisonment would be the consequence for getting your DNA on something you handle (like most chefs and cooks probably do.) Had to click into an article I didn’t care about reading just to understand what the headline was saying. >
  
  That’s an awful nice way to say “jizz” >
  
  Has anyone ever asked Jesus Christ what he thinks about giving out all of these get out of hell free cards?  He'd be like no dude  I ran out of those a couple years after I died. >
  
  He’s like “uh, that shit was just for me bro” 
  Jesus is a gym bro in my imagination >
  
  Semen! Fucking say it! >
  
  If JC has forgiven him then I want to have a serious conversation with JC. >
  
  How do they not have proper psyche evals for people in the police and roles like that? Seems like we give the crazies these positions and then we're shocked when they do a bunch of fucked up shit... >
  
  Did his mom write this headline? Buddy and wife are rapists >
  
  Something tells me this guy is gonna be fed a lot of DNA but he won't get any cupcakes. >
  
  His nickname might end up being cupcakes though! >
  
  
  after pleading guilty this week to a slew of child sex crimes.
  
  Oh. My naive self didn't realize it was DNA in that form until I read that first sentence. >
  
  Until I read the semen part, I figured he was long-planning a heist with deniability... >
  
  This is so fucked up and I can’t imagine this idiot thought he would get a life sentence. That’s a long time for this dude to think about what he did. Hopefully his wife gets the same. >
  
  It wasn't just the cupcakes. He pled guilty to:
  "..rape, two counts of sexual battery of a child under the age of 13, video voyeurism and two counts of child pornography. He also pleaded guilty to one count of mingling harmful substances for the cupcake incident.
  In total, he and his former wife were reportedly indicted on 150 sex crime-related charges, according to reports." >
  
  Guys, guys, he isn't a child rapist!
  He's a child and animal rapist. Give him the credit he deserves! >
  
  This is so sick. In high school one of the guys in my culinary class worked at dominos on the opposite side of town. Him and his coworkers would brag about peeing in the pizza sauce before they made the pizzas. It’s fucking horrifying how disgusting people are and how they have no care about the people they hurt. The dude in my hometown wanted to join the military. People like this crave power to abuse others. >
  
  It’s all good now, guys; Jesus forgave him. That undoes all the damage he did to those children. It’s like it never happened now. Thank you, Jesus. /s >
  
  What's amazing is that he accepted a 100-year sentence with no chance of parole as part of a plea deal. The article doesn't mention whether the death penalty was on the table or what. A linked article points out that he spared the victims having to testify, although it doesn't say explicitly whether that was his motivation. >
  
  Hope he likes other people's "DNA" on his food for the rest of his life >
  
  Wtf were they thinking.  Does anyone have what they said in their defence? >
  
  I know whats he's getting in his grits at breakfast. >
  
  Jesus Christ has forgiven me. Oh the delusions of pedos and their bullshit religion. >
  
  And that wasn't the worst of his crimes. Why does the media tiptoe around the truth these days? >
  
  “Jesus has forgiven me”. Yeah, fuck this guy, and any one or anything that would forgive him. I hope he gets piped down everyday in prison. Nothing but unwanted hard, big dicks for this guy. >
  
  Wow. Look at what this pos had to say after his conviction:
  “I would like to say I’m sorry,” Perkins said. “I spent more than three years living in a box. It’s not about me. I just want to make the statement: Jesus Christ has forgiven me. I’m grateful for that. I hope and pray that anybody that this has affected would also find forgiveness and healing through Jesus Christ."
  This mfer can burn in Christian hell. >
  
  "Dennis Perkins pleaded guilty Tuesday to rape, two counts of sexual battery of a child under the age of 13, video voyeurism and two counts of child pornography. He also pleaded guilty to one count of mingling harmful substances for the cupcake incident." I thought the same thing at first before reading the article >
  
  That’s pretty fucking juvenile. >
  
  Yes, he in fact WAS fucking juveniles.
   But hey....
  "It’s not about me. I just want to make the statement: Jesus Christ has forgiven me. " 
  So looks like he's good. >
  
  That does seem to be a predictable cycle. >
  
  Just got off the phone with Biden, he said he knows they’re supposed to be closing Guantanamo but they just found room for one more. >
  
  Oh, no, Genpop for this guy.  Lifers love child molesters. >
  
  Like a fat kid loves cake. With a fork and knife. >
  
  Whoa whoa whoa...easy on the cake references with this one >
  
  2 C flour
  1 C sugar
  1/2 C heavy cream…
     Wait, what? >
  
  It's just another "Things that make you go "Hmm . . ." " moment. >
  
  His semen. When 73 %of a United States population has served in the military, been in law enforcement or security, WHICH they have, at some point in their life, or TRIED to be. Eat a bag of dicks your service. >
  
  Wtf are you talking about >
  
  What is wrong with the US? When did everything become some childish joke? Why would a cop, who supposedly enforces the law think it was alright to put his DNA in other peoples food? >
  
  It wasn't so much the DNA but the fluid that carries it. >
  
  Well that one way to glaze cupcakes I suppose >
  
  Wow. Just . . . wow. >
  
  Christian fundamentalism/ terroristic narcism connection? Anyone? >
  
  I'd like a chocolate cupcake with extra sprinkles... Hold the jizz 💦 >
  
  I’m trying to remember the name of the notorious Louisiana prison.
  Drawing a blank tho >
  
  It’s okay though, Jesus has forgiven him apparently. >
  
  Matthew 25 has a lot to say about this self-serving asking for forgiveness. >
  
  
  the most disturbing being that she fed her junior high school class cupcakes that included Dennis’ ~~DNA~~ semen. 
  
  But of an odd thing to swap out of the title. >
  
  unless he’s talking about a Jésus, ima go ahead and say he’s not “forgiven by Jesus Christ” >
  
  But Jesus has forgiven him. >
  
  It’s okay guys ‘Jesus forgave him’ >
  
  I bet he only prays to baby jesus >
  
  Must have been the haploid dna. >
  
  DNA.
  /r/technicallythetruth >
  
  What the hell is with pervert teachers and baked goods? >
  
  Not good enough. A slow excruciating death isn't good enough. But it's a lot fucking closer. >
  
  Jeetah is a cop lover >
  
  Oh good news, Jesus Christ has forgiven him. I was worried that this child molester would rot in hell. >
  
  Well, I just lost my appetite.. >
  
  Wow…That’s one fucked up couple, To say the least. >
  
  Did Jesus make you put your seamen in those cupcakes? >
  
  I get dna in my food at a shitty restaurant. These kids got semen in their food, let’s not get it twisted. >
  
  "Jesus Christ has forgiven me." But you're still going to hell. >
  
  What a sicko. Reminds me of that flutes across the world guy >
  
  Jesus Christ has not forgiven you dude, you’re absolutely going to Hell >
  
  He is gonna die in prison. He accepted a plea deal which means he can’t appeal. 100 years. They are going to bury him under the place. 
  Why a plea deal though. 100 years is more than a lifetime. Did they threaten him with 300 years? Or was he too ashamed to have his victims testify? >
  
  Former cop provided creampies to junior high class. Those "creampies" were "hand filled" with ejaculated bodily fluids.
  ​
  WTF! >
  
  How to tell if a news outlet is pro police or not...good damage control with that bullshit headline >
  
  At first I was like damn! Life for some jizz laced cupcakes that seems harsh. But then I read the article………… >
  
  Well the receipt did call for heavy cream, it's an innocent mistake that anyone could make... >
  
  I am gonna be downvoted but life in prison? I feel like 20 years seems more reasonable.