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  This exactly. Men shouldn’t be held to a different standard than women, rather the person with more power in the situation should be held to a different standard than the person with less power. Whether it be a strength imbalance, a power imbalance at the office, etc.
context: The reason why double standards based on gender are never okay is because they fail to account for the root cause of the issues they're covering.
  You say that a man can hit harder than a woman in general, so they gave the responsibility to exercise restraint. That's true and I generally agree, but that's not because of gender or sex, it's because one party has much more capacity for violence than the other.
  For instance, what is a very large man's responsibility ~~with~~when confronted by a very small man? Does the large man have a similar responsibility to exercise restraint? Why? Should a butch woman exercise restraint against a petite woman? 
  If you said no to any of those examples, your goal is not equality or even equity, it is sexism.