comment: >
context: We work on one another. Communicate. Improve. It’s essential in long term relationships. 
  The girl who smoked pot on her brother’s couch is not my psychologist wife with a full patient list today and kickass mother of our children. 
  The guy who spent 18 hours a day playing WoW and not knowing the first thing about women is not her husband and father of her kids today.
  Fast forward a dozen+ years, we’ve grown as people and in our marriage. 
  We aim to make each other better. Work on our weaknesses, lean in on our strengths, rely on each other. Never stop dating each other and making time for a kiss or a deep hug. Corny but it’s true. >
  
  not? >
  
  I mean I don’t really see anything wrong with that if he’s fine with the way he looks. But you likely won’t get the best partner that way >
  
  I’ve been on both sides of this, rejected and also not feeling it for a woman who is really sweet and likes me a lot. What I think people should realize is that they should exercise as much as possible and watch their diet. Why? Because you never know when you are going to meet that person that takes your breath away and you will want to feel at your best and confident when you meet this person the first time. Second, being in good shape, seriously enhances many physical aspects of a relationship. >
  
  Getting rejected 99% of the time is fine as long as you make 100 moves. >
  
  Not for nothing, but your friend kinda has a point, do you want someone who likes you, or your biceps? If your goal is put up numbers, by all means work in finance and run marathons, it sounds like he has a different goal. >
  
  I think it is reasonable to want someone who takes care of themselves enough to maintain a healthy weight.
  But I suppose it depends on whether one's motivation is appearance or actual physical well-being.
  If you're overweight, you should try to lose weight.  Not to look better, but to feel better and be healthier. >
  
  umh, no, cos when people say "improve yourself" basically they mean changes that can be made in 5 minutes, like shaving of dressing better, so i will talk shit of a date that rejects me for a superficial difference that can be fixed in 5 minutes >
  
  But you didn’t want to spend that 5 minutes before the date to make yourself presentable?? >
  
  not much, i dress casual (in the real sense) and i don't shave or other things for the occasion... but the thing is about my date focusing on it, if this happens it's a good thing for me if she dumps me, we are not compatible >
  
  Some people don't have a need to improve (if we are strictly limiting the discussion to finding relationships), they already have interest from their preferred gender, some more, some less. There are people who don't improve themselves and thus are stuck at the bottom of a social pit, entitled to attention but not making an effort. There are people accept that they are not enough and strive to become better. Some will succeed, some will fail no matter how much effort they put in. I agree with your opinion only about the second group. >
  
  If you're 36 and still haven't had any success dating, you should just give up at that point. >
  
  I'm surprised your friend can get a date. He doesn't want to grow himself as a person, is overweight (most likely lazy as fuck) and unattractive to the people he finds attractive.
  One less person in the dating pool to compete with, oh well. >
  
  Wdym “inspired by”? Is this your opinion because of him or what?
  I’m also curious what led to him being rejected (ie. blind date, certain behavior, etc.)?