comment: >
  
  I knew what scene that was before I clicked.
context: This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.
  Remember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not "thoughts had in the shower!"
  (For an explanation of what a "showerthought" is, please read this page.)
  Rule-breaking posts may result in bans. >
  
  Not exactly on point but I'm right handed and recently severely burned my right hand. Have you ever tried to wipe with your off hand? Truly a humbling experience. >
  
  I've only ever wiped with my off hand, figured thats the proper my whole life for some reason, I guess if i swapped to my main hand it would feel weird now >
  
  Same, always wipe with the non-dominant hand… always have.  Isn’t that kinda why we offer the dominant hand when shaking hands?  So you’re not offering the wiping hand? >
  
  Wait until you hear about this thing called hand washing >
  
  Wait until he hears about left handed people >
  
  I’m left handed and wipe w my right >
  
  High five! >
  
  We gave up the ability to lick our own butts in favor of the greater benefits of walking upright >
  
  Thats why you get a friend to do it for you. >
  
  The real reason we evolved to be social creatures with complex social structures. It was all originally designed around butthole cleaning hierarchies. >
  
  Everything makes sense now >
  
  Everyrim makes sense now >
  
  Getting those problems licked >
  
  Wipe on wipe off >
  
  Mr. Miyagi... Is that you? >
  
  A bear  and a rabbit are shitting in the woods.
  The bear says to the rabbit, “Excuse me, sir, but do you have the problem of shit sticking to your fur?”
  The rabbit considers the question a moment and goes, “Why no, I don’t.”
  So the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his ass with it.
  — paraphrased from Eddie Murphy >
  
  Just thinking.. Wouldn't it better if shit did stick to the rabbits fur? >
  
  Probably should be phrased “…do you have a problem with…”, would make a lot more sense. >
  
  Yep, he fucked up the joke >
  
  Isn’t that also part of Eddie’s joke? He talks about people misremembering it and fucking it up after. >
  
  I'm Mr T I'll rip your cock off with my ass! >
  
  After a bidet installation, you will go to great lengths not to shit anywhere else. >
  
  40 years never used a bidet.  Bought one several years back on a suggestion from some coworkers because of hemorrhoids.  Now I hate shitting anywhere but my house with my bidet. >
  
  How did your issue of hemorrhoids come up in a discussion with coworkers? >
  
  Complain about not being able to sit, after making a lot of noise.  Someone jokes about 'your hemorrhoids flaring?'  I say yes.  Talk goes to what type of pillow they use to sit on.  Someone else mentions how they use a bidet and it made a difference, yada yada.
  Pretty innocuous really.  But it got me thinking about actually trying a bidet, and they weren't expensive.  I mean shockingly cheap and easy to install too.  Took like 15 minutes to install.
  And now I'll always try to poop where there's one available, which means at home mostly, because I rarely find anyone else has one. >
  
  My bidet has a night light, heated seat, 4 different wash modes, unlimited warm water,  and a seat sensor. Oh, and a blowdryer. Shit somewhere else now? I don't know if I could >
  
  Unlimited warm water? >
  
  Yeah, there are models with an inline heating element on the incoming water supply. >
  
  That would be a game changer. I use a lot of water. >
  
  That’s why I like projectile diarrhea.  Shoots out of there so fast doesn’t even touch the outer butthole. No fuss no muss >
  
  Discuss >
  
  Disgust >
  
  Bidets now fit between the seat and the toilet for 20 bucks.. life changing! >
  
  My wife and I got our first last month. I was very against it. Now I am very not. >
  
  I bought one a few years ago simply because it was on clearance for $5.00. I tried it out and was pleasantly surprised. I feel like a caveman when I’m not at my house now. I bought another for our other bathroom. I’m the only one in a family of five that uses it. I just cannot convince anyone else. 🤷‍♂️ >
  
  FYI, they have portable ones for travel. Something as simple as an adapter for a water bottle, or as fancy as rechargeable one with it's own tank. I have a rechargeable one. It's not as nice as my heated do it all for you model at home but it sure makes travel more civilized. >
  
  I almost bought that just for its name. They’re so expensive where I am though that I’m still on the fence. >
  
  They are effective, you get a decent amount of pressure from them. I think they sell them singley too. >
  
  Wise words from Andy Dwyer “I‘ll wipe and I’ll wipe and wipe. Still poop. Still poop. It’s like I’m wiping a marker or something” >
  
  Jokes aside, when this happens you are likely constipated and should up your fiber intake >
  
  Apparently I've been constipated for 33 years. >
  
  Given modern diets, it's entirely possible you've had digestive issues for that long. >
  
  You're also supposed to squat to poop, but we don't do that in the west. Squatting usually results in a cleaner evacuation requiring minimal cleaning. >
  
  And I vaguely remember that it also lines up your innards better as well, causing a more complete evacuation? >
  
  Squatty potty is the best thing I ever bought >
  
  I have a squatty potty stool and a really nice Toto bidet.  I loathe shitting away from home. >
  
  Public restrooms 🤮 >
  
  A hundred times....still poop.