comment: >
  
  "Junk!"
  "Junk, Ozzy?"
  "They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time."
  "What fuckin' joke?"
  "You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's..."
context: Someone please make a Chinese version of "99 Luftballons" >
  
  This person got it started. >
  
  Can somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t? >
  
  Probably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense. >
  
  F-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it. >
  
  I heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons >
  
  He’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo. >
  
  He'll save children, but not the British children >
  
  I heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid >
  
  at a party >
  
  He made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei  in a duel and never told us why. >
  
  Time to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense >
  
  Wow that brought me back >
  
  Those games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger. >
  
  Seconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?
  enter GLAIVE DOMINUS 
  great game. 
  Jus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons >
  
  They forgot we have camo detect villages >
  
  Which become the all important MIB. >
  
  Manchurian Intelligence Balloon >
  
  I live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly >
  
  What did the alert say? That must have been surreal >
  
  "DONT LOOK UP" >
  
  “NOPE” >
  
  Tracking it...?
  Why don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates? >
  
  Balloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft. >
  
  If they don’t shoot it down how do they do that? >
  
  Balloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.
  They have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.
  As you can imagine, not many exist. >
  
  Can confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war. >
  
  Thank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate. >
  
  I can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade. >
  
  We're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed >
  
  This sounds like the best possible WW3 >
  
  Ballon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need >
  
  Not gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot. >
  
  "It looks like a giant ball..."
  "...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?" >
  
  "Coach I think I see.."  
  "...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a..." >
  
  "Teabag! 
  Excuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug..."
  "Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's..." >
  
  "Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first."
  "Hold on, what is that up in the sky?"
  "Wow, that looks exactly like my..." >
  
  "Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his..."