comment: >
  
  It did say that, until the article was edited to omit that fact because fear mongering and chauvinism gets more clicks. Consent manufacturing machine goes brrrrrrr.
context: Someone please make a Chinese version of "99 Luftballons" >
  
  This person got it started. >
  
  Can somebody inform me what a balloon can do that a spy satellite can’t? >
  
  Probably airborne sensors. This thing is the size of three buses w/ a sizable observation bay. Deep ground penetrating radar from space has limits due to high orbit and the transition from space to atmosphere. Something that big probably can emit strong enough radar burst to get good look at deep underground military installations . Also just testing our response time and where our fighters would take off to intercept said balloon for North American defense. >
  
  F-22’s were specifically scrambled to observe the balloon because they have the highest service ceiling (65,000 feet) of any of our fighter jets. So that spy balloon must be way the fuck up there. I think this incident was more about testing the capability of our fighter aircraft. No doubt it was keeping record of how fast NORAD reacts and how quickly a jet would be in the sky and within range to intercept/observe it. >
  
  I heard, mother fucker had like, 30 god damn balloons >
  
  He’ll kick you apart. He’ll kick you apart! ooo. >
  
  He'll save children, but not the British children >
  
  I heard he once stuck an opponent's wife's hand in a jar of acid >
  
  at a party >
  
  He made love like an eagle falling out of the sky, but he killed his sensei  in a duel and never told us why. >
  
  Time to dust off the old Bloons Tower Defense >
  
  Wow that brought me back >
  
  Those games keep getting released. BTD6 is a banger. >
  
  Seconded. We talmbout heated boomerangs?
  enter GLAIVE DOMINUS 
  great game. 
  Jus some monkeys throwin darts at balloons >
  
  They forgot we have camo detect villages >
  
  Which become the all important MIB. >
  
  Manchurian Intelligence Balloon >
  
  I live in BIllings, Montana and this is pretty crazy thing to have alerted in your phone. Thought it was a prank honestly >
  
  What did the alert say? That must have been surreal >
  
  "DONT LOOK UP" >
  
  “NOPE” >
  
  Tracking it...?
  Why don't they just drone swarm it until it deflates? >
  
  Balloons can reach far higher altitude than any drone. Typically over 100k ft. >
  
  If they don’t shoot it down how do they do that? >
  
  Balloon vs balloon dogfight ending in a grappling hook boarding maneuver.
  They have to fly in the air force's best balloon dogfighting aces first.
  As you can imagine, not many exist. >
  
  Can confirm, am a retired veteran of the 3rd balloon war. >
  
  Thank you for your service and may you never suffer deflate. >
  
  I can never go to birthday parties anymore. Anytime one of the balloons pop, i remember a fallen comrade. >
  
  We're sending up another balloon with a pokey stick attached, case closed >
  
  This sounds like the best possible WW3 >
  
  Ballon jousting settles WWIII is the timeline we all need >
  
  Not gonna lie, this sounds like a plot device in an Austin Powers reboot. >
  
  "It looks like a giant ball..."
  "...Sack! That's right, I want you to sack the quarterback! Hurley! What're you looking at?" >
  
  "Coach I think I see.."  
  "...the family jewels on display tended to by curators at this museum for over 30 years. Hey something is blocking out the sun. I think it's a..." >
  
  "Teabag! 
  Excuse me Waitress, can you get me another teabag? Mine broke inside the mug..."
  "Certainly sir... Wow, take a look out the window! That looks just like my husband's..." >
  
  "Nuts! You have to be nuts to try that jump Carl! Come on ski with me, let's try the smaller one over there first."
  "Hold on, what is that up in the sky?"
  "Wow, that looks exactly like my..." >
  
  "Coin purse! He took my coin purse! Helllllp!!!!... Woah. I haven't seen that since Harold popped out his..." >
  
  "Junk!"
  "Junk, Ozzy?"
  "They're using the same fuckin' junk joke as they did the last time."
  "What fuckin' joke?"
  "You know, the fuckin' joke about the spy balloon that looks like some guy's..." >
  
  "Two vegetables?"
  "No, I said I want three. I haven't eaten in hours!"
  "You sure you wouldn't rather order the..." >
  
  "Frank and Beans?"
  "That sounds delightful!.... Oh my, would you look at that?! It looks just like my Uncle's....." >
  
  BALLS!!! Boys get those balls in before it starts to rain. OH MY GOD what's that in the sky it looks just like two big... >
  
  goodnight table
  goodnight moon
  goodnight high altitude chinese spy balloon >
  
  Goodnight stars
  Goodnight air
  Goodnight new form of aerial warfare >
  
  Goodnight room
  Goodnight cow jumping over the moon
  Goodnight blinking light, in the red balloon >
  
  Goodnight cow
  Goodnight moon
  Goodnight blinking red light in the room >
  
  Goodnight noises everywhere. >
  
  And goodnight old broad in the rocking chair >
  
  The proper response >
  
  It's actually a battlebus >
  
  Ima drop in texas. >
  
  It's funnier to acknowledge we know about it and NOT shoot it down, because we already hacked it. >
  
  Live footage of the NSA cryptographers right now >
  
  Live footage of the Chinese military right now >
  
  This is great but I was really disappointed that they completely left out the super troopers enhance...djeiwodhebtofidue... Enhance...jdjdheieodjrbrbeixoxork... Enhance! >
  
  Just print the damn thing! >
  
  There are checking for inflation >
  
  People are blowing up about it >
  
  it is allegedly the size of three buses and has a technology bay >
  
  Can we catch it? Maybe there's something useful inside. Or wait until it's over the middle of nowhere. >
  
  This comment put a hilarious image in my head of a giant weather balloon just meandering along slowly in the sky and then you zoom out and see the US has deployed their own weather balloon with a gun attached to float along behind it to try and shoot it down. 
  Cut to the Chinese and US crews on the ground in their headquarters with flashing warning signs shouting at each other in a panic, cut back to the balloons in the sky, silently bobbing along in slow motion.
  Edit: Leslie Nielsen plays the agent in charge of the US operation. >
  
  Just duct tape a knife to a drone and save on bullets. >
  
  This is America, we don't save on bullets. >
  
  You're right, we should make a knife that shoots bullets >
  
  That is so fucking stupid and entirely misses the point. What we need is a gun that shoots knives. >
  
  Kind of already exists but in missile form. >
  
  That’s super impressive as far as precision technology goes but it’s definitely no knife-gun. I’m almost as disappointed as when I found out what tomahawk missiles really are. >
  
  Honestly, these gender reveals gone awry are just happening too often. >
  
  This is a hidden agenda reveal >
  
  I love when reddit armchair experts think they know better than the top brains of US intelligence, lol.
  If they think it's not worth it to shoot it down, then they're probably right. Both US and China have plenty of spy satellites watching each other. >
  
  Fun fact. Nixon used CIA agents for the Watergate scandal and they got detected by a security guard at the hotel lmao. >
  
  Actually, Forrest Gump made the initial call to security >
  
  Was that before or after he drank 15 Dr. Peppers? >
  
  After the 15 Dr Peppers, before he showed his ass to the President >
  
  Prob the most exciting thing to ever happen in Montana >
  
  ♬ 99 spy balloons
  Floating in the summer sky
  Panic bells, it's red alert
  There's something here from somewhere else
  The war machine springs to life
  Opens up one eager eye
  Focusing it on the sky
  The 99 spy balloons go by ♬ >
  
  This is what we've waited for, this is it boys this is war >
  
  /The President is on the line /   /
  /                   /As 99 red balloons go by 🎸🎼🎹/ >
  
  When you opt for drone delivery from Wish instead of Amazon >
  
  Actual photo here. >
  
  "Oh bother!" >
  
  They're doing a fentanyl drop. >
  
  98 more and we'll have a problem >
  
  luftballon! >
  
  bass synth intensifies >
  
  Find a cat. Make a suit so the cat can survive high altitudes. Make sure to modify the suit so it's claws can still be used. Tie cat to a drone. Fly that cat towards the balloon. Balloon pops. We hold a parade for the cat.
  You guys don't have to thank me, I take pleasure in coming up with solutions. >
  
  Ladies and gentlemen your new secretary of defense. >
  
  Can we please stop the ominous events marathon this decade? >
  
  This could be the premise of an episode or a subplot of an episode for the rebooted King of the Hill show. Dale goes off about the Chinese spying on us. A spy weather balloon gets shot down over Arlen. Bill is able to recover one of the camera boxes and subsequently bonds with and hides it from the others, leading to an ET esque ending where Hank and Co have to both make sure Bill isn't charged with Treason whilst also humoring his loneliness by not just destroying the box. There would even be a blinking light on the camera that Bill seems to think is the spy at the other end talking and listening to him >
  
  I say we retaliate with our own balloons. >
  
  1, 2, 3, 4.
  I declare balloon war. >
  
  how do we know its a Chinese spy balloon and not just some garage experiment? >
  
  The article also says it's probably a science experiment gone awry