comment: >
  
  With the cancer, or did she find another way?
context: This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.
  Remember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not "thoughts had in the shower!"
  (For an explanation of what a "showerthought" is, please read this page.)
  Rule-breaking posts may result in bans. >
  
  I have spent years, YEARS, learning to be social and normal, using correct body language,  not turning bright red and sweating when talking to people...speech classes,  non verbal communication,  acting classes,  psychology,  sociology,  social psychology....but F when I think it's going okay and someone tells me Log is just to much, is too friendly,  is trying to hard - it makes my heart hurt. 
  Yes, I am trying...every damn day- because I became tired of sitting in my house paralyzed with social phobia...ugh.  Those mean comments make me want to crawl back in my hole.
  Those few kind people - Those few patient empathic people I've met along my journey make all the work worth it. 
  Keep at it - even when it hurts.
  
  Thank you all for the upvotes,  thoughtful opinions,  empathy,  personal stories,  and sharing! >
  
  In my experience when people say “too friendly” or “trying too hard” they usually mean “doesn’t respect my boundaries” even if they don’t know how to articulate it and even if they haven’t communicated those boundaries. Sometimes they’re framing things this way in an effort to be nice. Sometimes they’re mean because it doesn’t feel good to them and they lack the skill to communicate what they need. >
  
  Yeah, there are a lot of people in this thread who are basically saying 'other people should have far more social grace than I do, and if they fail at the difficult social test I'm putting them through, they're mean.' despite the fact that the people expecting the social grace would fail the same test. >
  
  It seems by the standard of this thread I'm a terrible person, if I'm with a group of people and one of them is sweaty and sits too close and keeps asking awkward questions or is trying too hard to keep my attention then I'm gonna be uncomfortable and want out of that situation.
  I'm gonna try my best to not be a dick but it's not my responsibility to make up for someones social ineptitude. >
  
  True. My partner is very similar to me in that they will get very intense when meeting new people.  He gets a little drilling 20 questions, and I will nervously talk about random topics (Let me give you a 30-minute history lesson about my dogs breed.). We've developed hand signals to settle down.
  Hire us for your parties - We will bring that awkward and uncomfortable vibe. >
  
  If this is true then there aren't many good people that my weird ass meets >
  
  It's not, it's just idealistic thought that mostly works if you put yourself into main character-esque role. It's doesn't matter if they're good or not, you can't expect people to just adapt to your lack of skill and accept you into their circles unconditionally. In reality if you believe they are good people you can probably solve it way better by just communicating your lack of skill somehow. >
  
  Yeah this is very situation dependent. 
  If I'm at a bar with a couple friends and a stranger comes up and is acting weird I'm not going to acknowledge their attempt to socialise, I'm going to either move on or ask them to leave.
  I get 2 evenings off per week, and probably go out to have fun two evenings a month, I don't owe strangers my time on those nights if I find them weird or off-putting. >
  
  
  If I'm at a bar with a couple friends and a stranger comes up and is acting weird I'm not going to acknowledge their attempt to socialise, I'm going to either move on or ask them to leave.
  
  Yeah, most people are like this. Not having time is one thing, but they talk about it like they're somehow better than the "weird" people. It's like a badge of honor for them to turn their nose up at someone and say "you are so undeserving of my time that I'm not even going to acknowledge that you tried."
  I always have to be the one to welcome them into the conversation, and sure enough, after a few minutes everyone realizes they're not so weird after all, they were just having trouble expressing themselves. Occasionally we end up being friends.
  Anyway, I recognize your effort to communicate your honest opinion. And your lack of basic human respect is sickening. >
  
  Hahaha wtf are you on about. >
  
  You make me sick. Does that make sense, or do I need to dumb it down further? >
  
  The way you speak to people speaks to a horrible inhumanity in yourself.
  How you can sleep at night with such vitriol in your twisted heart that you'd say that to someone you barely know I'll never be able to comprehend.
  Hang your head in shame. >
  
  Lol idk why you thought I would care about the opinion of some weirdo. Go hang out with your friends at the bar. >
  
  Haha I'm only winding you up mate, I'm sure your a nice bloke. >
  
  I wish I could say the same for you. >
  
  It has less to do with being good and more with the social skills of the recipient of said efforts >
  
  I was about to say the same thing. People who have good social skills generally know how to adapt and interact with all sorts of people.
  People with lower level social skills tend to either have difficulty reading others and how to respond in turn or only know how to interact with only one type of person. Teenagers often go through a phase of being uncomfortable with anyone outside their social circle not because they're stuck up, but because they lack confidence due to underdeveloped social skills. >
  
  Fresh lesson from just the other day, don't try to adopt or appease strangers too much. There's a limit. Stranger on the plane was telling me about taxi drivers and how they rip him off, and I decided to play along. I was like "yeah man it happened to me the other day" then he proceeded to loudly explain how he carries fake dollar bills so he can defraud them when he goes to impoverished countries. Everyone was looking at both of us like assholes, like I was in cahoots with him. >
  
  I see what you mean and how you interpreted my words. To clarify, adapting doesn't mean agreeing with someone. It's more about adapting your level of communication. Perhaps you need to use simpler language, perhaps the person is very extraverted and you can mirror their energy, maybe the other person is a little shy and anxious, so you use a calmer tone with them. That sort of thing. >
  
  
  and you can mirror their energy 
  the person is very extroverted 
  
  My social battery went straight to 0 (╯°□°）╯ >
  
  As an introvert, maintaining the social battery drain while acting extroverted is a skill many can learn.
  I just view it as a game/task with rules and conditions and it helps me. >
  
  Good people can lack situational awareness. Doesnt stop them from being good people. >
  
  “We’re all a little weird and life’s a little weird; so, when you finally find someone who’s weirdness is compatible with your’s, you fall into mutual wired mess and call it love.” -Dr. Seuss >
  
  Dr Seuss is about the last mf to be talking about love >
  
  Enlighten me, please >
  
  Cheated on his wife when she had terminal cancer >
  
  Aaaand then she killed herself