comment: >
  
  Who the devil are you?
context: Waiting for the Europe reveal. >
  
  Can't believe so many innocent science experiments went awry >
  
  Im happy for american taxpayers to build a giant fuckoff balloon and sit it over china for a month. The absolute rage fit XI would have. >
  
  We have to have one of those old Macys thanksgiving parade balloons of Winnie the Pooh right? Don’t even have to get sophisticated. Slap a GoPro on that bad boy and send him on his way. >
  
  Not even a good GoPro. Make it like a GoPro 4 and slap it up in a fancy looking box so the Chinese want to get it and find out what technology we are using. Just entirely fuck with them. >
  
  And fill it with glitter…lots and lots of glitter >
  
  Better call Mark Rober for that lol. >
  
  So glitter, fart smell, and Home Alone references it is. >
  
  And dildos.... >
  
  Im going to guess China launched a bunch of these and we are going to see news of these things making appearances around the world over the next few days. >
  
  Yep I believe it. But why? >
  
  Could literally have just been "Let's see how other nations respond". >
  
  So you're saying they're...floating trial balloons? >
  
  Diddy Kong racing music begins playing >
  
  I’m choosing Timber and the hovercraft >
  
  I spent all that time unlocking the damn clock, I'm gonna use the damn clock >
  
  Wait, unlocking the clock guy was an option??? >
  
  Yes, he's also the fastest character >
  
  I assume you had to beat all the time trials or something? I could have used him to beat WizPig, I could never do that lol. >
  
  Oh boy, yesterday here in Costa Rica many spotted a white balloon high in the sky. It was almost in tandem with the news of the US one.
  Both meteorological agencies here with actual permissions to use these denied that it was theirs
  Link here of the sighting. Looks like it has panels too >
  
  Is it even possible to see a balloon flying at 50,000ft from the ground? >
  
  It apparently was the size if three school buses. >
  
  Is it possible to see three school buses at 50,000ft from the ground? Not being a jackass I’m actually curious. Seems like it would be a speck at that altitude if you could even spot it at all, even through binoculars, assuming you can keep it in sight long enough.
  But maybe I’m wrong? >
  
  The part that is the size of three buses is the payload hanging on the bottom of the balloon that looks like a satellite. The white balloon part that we see is massive compared to that. >
  
  Yes people don’t seem to understand this. It’s probably like 10 school busses. >
  
  How big is it in giraffes? >
  
  Indian giraffes or African giraffes? >
  
  Well I’m American, so whichever one divides more easily into football fields >
  
  C'mon, we all know how 'easy' you like your ratios. If the football field:Indian giraffe ratio is 1:10, and 1:8.5678247 for African ones, your choice is made >
  
  Oh bother. >
  
  Exactly.  It was attempt #2 to get the honey out of the tree.
  Next time they’ll remember to paint the black and orange stripes on it! >
  
  Or put a little bow tie on it. >
  
  And have all of the Chinese citizens living in the path of the balloon stand outside with an umbrella saying, "Tut tut.  It looks like rain." >
  
  (Shout out Winnipeg) >
  
  You shut down their police stations and they send balloons. You shoot down their balloons and they'll probably send pigeons with cameras on them >
  
  Then the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you. >
  
  Oh God, next will be the robotic Richard Simmons. >
  
  C'mon girls! Get the butter off those buns! >
  
  His ass is gonna blow!