comment: >
  
  Turns out, little monkey fella
context: Tamarin monkeys require very special care and feeding.  
  What a pity the vulture died, too. >
  
  I'm glad they seem to have caught the culprit. Dude was looking to target the aquarium next. >
  
  “Monkey thief” sounds like what you’d get if you asked a 4 year old to call you a bad name. >
  
  “Other crimes” sounds like a euphemism for charges that nobody wants to say out loud until they are formally made, as they are so unsavory that they might provide the accused an opportunity to sue for slander if they go unproven. >
  
  There's an Aviary where I grew up, it was always free up through the 80's but they charge, now.  It's really nice, actually.
  But in the 80's, opening personnel found a man sleeping in the dirt with his pants around his ankles.  Cops came, and found a half a sheet of acid in his pocket.  
  Personnel then found a Demoiselle Crane, deceased from being (there's no way to be tactful here) fucked to death by the acid guy.
  He got like 10 years in prison. Hate to say it, but probably for the acid more than anything. >
  
  The line for animal cruelty charges seems pretty arbitrary sometimes in a society that is totally fine with factory farming.  Somehow torturing thousands of animals and eating them is better than torturing one and not eating it. >
  
  Okay, so it wasn’t Jay and Silent Bob this time >
  
  Dallas Monkey Thief is a banger of a band name. >
  
  Dang, I just named mine Chinese Spy Balloon. >
  
  Seems like that one will just get shot down. >
  
  So disappointed it’s not the monkey who’s the thief.