comment: >
  
  i reckon she just disowned him
context: We all know George Santos' bio - he is. the. most. interesting. man. in. the. world.
  After his induction to Mensa at the age of 4, he went on to author the Nobel prize winning book of poetry, "Extortion to a Scream - Progressives Must Die". He was selected to represent the US in the 2010 Olympics in Dressage, Decathlon, and Ice Hockey, but dropped out to pursue and eventually win the Heismann trophy while graduating as Valedictorian at Harvard. A Rhodes Scholar, he brokered peace between age-old enemies, the Turks and the Armenians at the young age of 20, after which he was recruited by every Fortune 500 firm, finally accepting a position as CEO of Pepsi, during which he mentored Elon Musk and Sundar Pichai out of the goodness of his heart. 
  After 18 months at Pepsi which saw its stock price increase 1500%, he left to found a Buddhist  temple  in Manhattan, the "Temple of Mindful Theft", which taught disciples how to maintain calm and inner peace while raping native lands. His lifelong goal is to rid New Yorkers of the need for heating oil in the winter by raising global temperatures to the point where Binghampton never sees a single day with a temperature lower than 70F. 
  Mr. Santos is widely associated with some of the most recognizable names in show business, from his wild 3-some with Kim Kardashian and Pete Davidson in Central Park, to his winning run on RuPaul's Drag Race. 
  After his recent near-death experience piloting the prototype SpaceX Starship, George has graciously accepted a near unanimous request by the voters in Jamaica, Queens to represent them in Congress. We anticipate that he will accept the Presidency within the next 6 months. >
  
  Hey! You forgot to mention how he rose to national fame by writing and first performing The Star Spangled Banner! >
  
  oops. crud. I'll work it in. >
  
  The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year-old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent, I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard, really. At the age of twelve, I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I suggest you try it. >
  
  Official George Santos biography:
  “Who fucking knows” >
  
  it's more like a choose-your-own adventure book.
  "If you want George Santos to be an ordained minister, turn to page 51." >
  
  This is much more fun >
  
  I am so tired of hearing about this turd. I wish he would resign and go back to obscurity so I never have to see his ugly mug or hear about him ever again. >
  
  Congressional Tinder Swindler 
  If you watch his older interviews, he is trying hard not to bust out laughing at his own lies. It's like Sam Bankman Fried, they both do this. Duping delight. The smartest guys in the room. >
  
  The fact that he’s still a sitting member of Congress shows you how little the GOP cares anymore. Even with all the bullshit, this would have disqualified you not that long ago. >
  
  All he is to the GOP, is a +1. Everything else doesn't matter. >
  
  No he’s been duckface ever since his name was Walter and he was in Stephanie Tanner’s class >
  
  “George Santos” 
  ~~Volleyball Champion~~
  ~~Goldman Sachs Employee~~
  His mother died on ~~9/11~~ five years ago…uh well…umm