comment: >
  
  Saying trauma is normal isn't putting the blame on anyone. It is just saying it is a common occurrence or something that many people will have to go through. It can actually make you more empathetic when you have gone through it. Not everyone experiences trauma the same way which is why in some cases it can be healthy.
context: I agree there can be times in which little trauma can be a learning experience. But, heavy trauma such as sexual abuse, neglect etc no those leave such deep scares that people may struggle with day to day things. >
  
  Yeh but people act like getting a bad nickname anymore is considered trauma >
  
  In some cases yes, I feel in most cases when people talk about trauma it’s for real bad shit that happened to them. >
  
  Most people yes. But I’ve literally met a girl (her name was Heidi) that thought her depression stemmed from not getting a hogwarts acceptance letter… I wish I was making that up. >
  
  I get ya. But if one takes a more nuanced point of view, I could say the reason she felt it was traumatic was her possibly having an undiagnosed mental health condition. I’m not saying you are wrong, I’m just saying I’d think of it that way. >
  
  I like that! Well said! And yah probably true I didn’t know her that well she was my wife’s friend. >
  
  Thanks mate, appreciate the chat. >
  
  Trauma is necessary for development, I agree on this. But extreme trauma is bad overall - something like rape or constant abuse. It hampers your ability to function in that aspect of life regardless of how hard you try. >
  
  While I don't disagree with your overall sentiment, one problem with your labels is that lots of people cope with trauma, not by admitting or making excuses for their shortcomings, but simply by just bottling it up and taking it out on others. And honestly, most of these ARE caused by your so-called "subtle" traumatic events. I've seen normal people degrade into complete sociopathic jerkwads just because they got dumped, or their elderly parent died, or they lost a job or didn't get a promotion. They're not out there fishing for sympathy or making excuses, so you wouldn't single them out as "mentally unhealthy" based on your criteria, but these people are dealing with trauma in an infinitely worse way than those who at least recognize it as such, even if they can't "get over it".
  This is seems like psychology 101, but really you either deal with trauma, or you let it consume you. At least people who admit they have trauma have taken the first step toward dealing with it, and what you label as attention-seeking behavior is probably just a general move toward greater mental health awareness in society as a whole; people are way more willing to admit they have problems than they were 20 or 30 years ago, for a myriad of reasons. >
  
  To address one point here. I do not see it as attention seeking at all. I see it more as giving up in a sense or relinquishing inner control. Some people are more likely to retreat from life than show off their trauma. And when some do 'attenrkon seeking'ish behavior I have a lot of empathy because they are probably just looking for love and acceptance and community in a lonely world.
  And yeah I would actually still call all of those 'subtle traumas' trauma because of how I have seen those events usually affect some people in completely life altering ways usually for the worse. But, the times I have also seen people's life alter in good ways have truly made me think outside the realm of conventional wisdom. >
  
  Post-traumatic growth is a real thing. It sounds like your experiences helped you feel more connected to other people, now and in the past. It's something that should be talked about more widely. >
  
  You’re not responsible for the damage done to you, but you are responsible for the way you heal >
  
  
  However, traumatic event is just a stressful event that has affected us.
  
  No.
  It can genuinely be some mind altering shit. >
  
  Yes it can. It probably should. But it doesn't have to end up altering the mind in debilitating ways. >
  
  
  But it doesn't have to end up altering the mind in debilitating ways.
  
  This isn't something people largely have control over. >
  
  What I am suggesting is most people do not have control now. But that control can be learned and should be taught. >
  
  
  But that control can be learned and should be taught.
  
  The ability for control over trauma is not something that can largely be controlled. It's an ingraining in the mind. >
  
  Well that,to me, doesn't do the great capability of the mind due justice at all. Our minds are much more scientifically flexible than that. >
  
  Love the uneducated opinions on trauma here. 
  Trauma is a mind altering event. 
  Those who deal with trauma know the phrase “when stressed, regress”. You mentally go back to the age you experienced the trauma at. 
  I guess I should be thrilled that there are all these ignorant takes on trauma, it means we are getting better at preventing/treating it. >
  
  This is what happens when people with no discernable personality hijack mental health conditions to seek attention. Words like "trauma" and "depression" have lost all meaning because of overuse, leaving those who actually suffer to be ostracized. >
  
  I have mixed feelings. I made me get my shit together and holy fuck I’m deeply broken. >
  
  Yeah  I agree...it helped me do some positive things   but a part of me ( the part I liked the most) feels dead still. >
  
  Exactly. I feel dead inside. It’s like I died. I’m still happy and nice but ya, part of me is dead. >
  
  The difference is how trauma is processed. With PTSD it's not processed and dealt with. The memory becomes stuck and replayed.
  So yeah, trauma is normal, but PTSD is not. >
  
  
  traumatic event is just a stressful event that has affected us
  
  "Trauma
  A deeply distressing or disturbing experience.
  Emotional shock following a stressful event or a physical injury, which may be associated with physical shock and sometimes leads to long-term neurosis."
  Trauma is not "just a stressful event"
  Stress and trauma are two different things. Stress is normal. Trauma is not. Both are common.
  Secondly, not everyone deals with events in the same way. This hyper-individualized point of view you have shows no empathy for other people.
  Lastly, implying that trauma-causing events are "normal" takes the blame away from those who abuse others and puts it on their victims instead