comment: >
  
  I understand your perspective, but I disagree with the idea that parents of incels are solely responsible for their children's challenges in navigating the world of romance. While it's true that parents can play a role in teaching their children about healthy relationships and communication skills, there are many other factors that can contribute to an individual's challenges in finding and maintaining romantic relationships.
  It's important to recognize that incels, like all individuals, are complex and multifaceted, and that their challenges may be influenced by a variety of internal and external factors. These may include their own beliefs, behaviors, and coping mechanisms, as well as societal norms and expectations, past experiences, and mental health issues.
  Rather than blaming parents for their children's challenges, it's important to take a more nuanced and holistic approach that addresses the many factors that may be contributing to an individual's struggles. This may involve providing support and guidance to both parents and their children, as well as addressing any underlying mental health issues and helping individuals develop the skills and coping mechanisms they need to navigate the world of romance in a healthy and positive way.
context: /u/ToppedYaByAccident (OP) has awarded 2 delta(s) in this post.
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  ^Delta System Explained ^| ^Deltaboards >
  
  CMV: Parents of poor people failed to prepare them financially for life.
  CMV: Parents of fat people failed to prepare them healthwise for life.
  CMV: Parents of antisocial people failed to prepare them socially for life.
  CMV: Parents of criminals failed to prepare them for a life in society.
  This is a question of nature vs. nurture vs. free will. Do you agree with every statement above? Does every child of a shitty parent turn out shitty? Does every child of a great parent turn out great?
  If the answer to any of the above CMVs above is no, then some of the responsibility must rely on the individual. Is it fair? No. Do we all bear some responsibility for our actions??? >
  
  You are making a VERY incorrect assumption that incels lack adequate parenting while people who have sex had adequate parenting. That is way off base. In the example you used, you reference a different unhealthy relationship pattern. A literal child doing drugs, neglecting sleep, and having potentially unsafe sex due to those factors, is NOT something to aspire to.
  Incels need therapy. That’s it. Like a lot of other people. Parenting causes a lot of issues, but boiling down the complex psychology of incels to bad parenting is woefully inadequate. >
  
  There is no one or nothing that incels won't blame for their crap -- except themselves. 
  It's society not providing good role models! 
  It's parents not teaching them how to date or letting them do drugs! (which, wtf)!
  It's people being mean and not "reaching out!"
  It is always, always, women.
  It's never that they're just toxic, misogynistic losers who lack ambition, achievement, interest, anything but their juvenile ire and blaming. >
  
  
  they're just toxic, misogynistic losers who lack ambition, achievement, interest, anything but their juvenile ire and blaming.
  
  Does it mean that you exclude the possibility of a genuinely good person being involuntarily celibate? >
  
  
  The guys in high school that got the girls were allowed to stay out late, get access to drugs/alcohol and party with them. It may not be the BEST parenting, but these kids leave high school with massively high self-esteems.
  
  I did drugs, alcohol and had many girlfriends during high-school. But that didn't really improve my self-esteem that much. Rather, because of low self-esteem I was doing dangerous to my body. When you have low self-esteem, anxiety, depression etc. no amount of "achievements" really matter to you - that's how celebrities, rich and otherwise successful people suffer from these issues as well despite having objectively, from your point of view, no reason to do so. 
  
  I wish my multiracial family taught me
  
  It's not your family's job to teach you how to date. Chances are, your family is out of touch with the teenage dating trends and any advice they might throw at you might be useless and outdated. 
  Case in point, the type of people you've mentioned (the ones who do drugs, alcohol and date a lot of girls) don't really receive a lot of parental orientation and guidance and still get to date a lot. 
  Besides, you underestimate teenagers' ability to not give a damn about any sort of advice you might throw at them, even if it's the best advice in the world. 
  Let me give an example: 
  
  It also would’ve been nice to tell me that most women don’t like “good, Christian boys,” and prefer the outspoken and extroverted.
  
  In terms of what - hookups or actual relationships? 
  If you're asking about hooking up with girls and getting laid, you are less likely to do that by being a good Christian guy because girls who are into hookups aren't that interested in marriage, children or christian values in general. 
  If you're looking for serious relationships, you're more likely to find one by being a good Christian guy because women who are interested in marriage, children etc. value stability, security, reliability etc. over anything else. 
  Young people are not generally into long term relationships. Older people are generally not into short term relationships. 
  This is all the advice you're ever going to need and I'm sure this is anything you haven't figured out yet. The problem is that if you're trying to get laid but you're claiming to be a good Christian guy, you're going to have as much of a good time as any guy who's screwing dozens of women will have to keep a stable relationship going. 
  The point is that no one can't really teach you how to "talk with suitors" if you haven't made up your mind as to what exactly you want from life - and once you do, you'll figure out how to talk with them yourself. >
  
  !delta 
  Very, very great points here, specifically the paragraphs about parents having outdated mindsets, and the last paragraph about making up your mind about what you want in life. >
  
  Confirmed: 1 delta awarded to /u/SangerNegru (1∆).
  ^Delta System Explained ^| ^Deltaboards >
  
  When you're talking about "incles" you're talking about "a common stereotype of people who can't get laid". Different people can't get into a relationship for different reasons, and it's all individual and very complex. 
  I don't know why 'Chad' and 'Stacy' are bad stereotypes, but 'a stereotypical incel' is a good stereotype. It's not. And you can't find a 'cure' from 'being unable to get laid' that will help everyone >
  
  Things were so much more hierarchical than they are now; and the world is less brutal. I’m sure there were groups of men that literally killed other men just to take their wives. >
  
  
  in the fourth century BC, Plato was heard to remark: "What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets, inflamed with wild notions.
  
  Kids don't really listen to adults about the future, and a child's peers (or those perceived as peers in terms of the internet) have a very profound effect that I think you're ignoring. I.e., I think you are over-valuing parental-input and under-valuing peer-input.
  Every generation admonishes the youth for not listening, so the solution can't be to get the youth to listen: it's been a non-starter since, at least, ancient Greece.
  While, of course, I agree it's good to educate your kids, this is not "the solution" to Incels, imo.