comment: >
  
  Yes it can. It probably should. But it doesn't have to end up altering the mind in debilitating ways.
context: I agree there can be times in which little trauma can be a learning experience. But, heavy trauma such as sexual abuse, neglect etc no those leave such deep scares that people may struggle with day to day things. >
  
  Yeh but people act like getting a bad nickname anymore is considered trauma >
  
  In some cases yes, I feel in most cases when people talk about trauma it’s for real bad shit that happened to them. >
  
  Most people yes. But I’ve literally met a girl (her name was Heidi) that thought her depression stemmed from not getting a hogwarts acceptance letter… I wish I was making that up. >
  
  I get ya. But if one takes a more nuanced point of view, I could say the reason she felt it was traumatic was her possibly having an undiagnosed mental health condition. I’m not saying you are wrong, I’m just saying I’d think of it that way. >
  
  I like that! Well said! And yah probably true I didn’t know her that well she was my wife’s friend. >
  
  Thanks mate, appreciate the chat. >
  
  Trauma is necessary for development, I agree on this. But extreme trauma is bad overall - something like rape or constant abuse. It hampers your ability to function in that aspect of life regardless of how hard you try. >
  
  While I don't disagree with your overall sentiment, one problem with your labels is that lots of people cope with trauma, not by admitting or making excuses for their shortcomings, but simply by just bottling it up and taking it out on others. And honestly, most of these ARE caused by your so-called "subtle" traumatic events. I've seen normal people degrade into complete sociopathic jerkwads just because they got dumped, or their elderly parent died, or they lost a job or didn't get a promotion. They're not out there fishing for sympathy or making excuses, so you wouldn't single them out as "mentally unhealthy" based on your criteria, but these people are dealing with trauma in an infinitely worse way than those who at least recognize it as such, even if they can't "get over it".
  This is seems like psychology 101, but really you either deal with trauma, or you let it consume you. At least people who admit they have trauma have taken the first step toward dealing with it, and what you label as attention-seeking behavior is probably just a general move toward greater mental health awareness in society as a whole; people are way more willing to admit they have problems than they were 20 or 30 years ago, for a myriad of reasons. >
  
  To address one point here. I do not see it as attention seeking at all. I see it more as giving up in a sense or relinquishing inner control. Some people are more likely to retreat from life than show off their trauma. And when some do 'attenrkon seeking'ish behavior I have a lot of empathy because they are probably just looking for love and acceptance and community in a lonely world.
  And yeah I would actually still call all of those 'subtle traumas' trauma because of how I have seen those events usually affect some people in completely life altering ways usually for the worse. But, the times I have also seen people's life alter in good ways have truly made me think outside the realm of conventional wisdom. >
  
  Post-traumatic growth is a real thing. It sounds like your experiences helped you feel more connected to other people, now and in the past. It's something that should be talked about more widely. >
  
  You’re not responsible for the damage done to you, but you are responsible for the way you heal >
  
  
  However, traumatic event is just a stressful event that has affected us.
  
  No.
  It can genuinely be some mind altering shit.