comment: >
  
  thank you for correcting me 🤞🏼
context: /u/jeffersonspacecar (OP) has awarded 1 delta(s) in this post.
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  ^Delta System Explained ^| ^Deltaboards >
  
  If someone has a preference, whether it's a nickname, an allergy, how they like their coffee, or how they want to be referred to that's between me and them. If they tell me that's fine. If I feel it's appropriate to ask that's fine. If I accidentally cross a boundary I didn't know there I hope they understand there was no disrespect and make an effort in the future.
  Do you think what I've described is a trend? Or is it basic decency? >
  
  The pronoun question I'm referring to is like when you meet someone new, like say at a college, and they ask "what are your preferred pronouns". Let's make sure we're talking about the same thing. >
  
  That's not too far off from my scenarios. If someone wants to make sure they are addressing someone they meet correctly why not? Sometimes someone tells me their name and I repeat it back to them to make sure I'm pronouncing it correctly. There's no issue with seeking clarity from someone, the alternative is to simply assume and go based on that. >
  
  Because you're probably 99% sure what their preferred pronouns are. And you'll be right 99% of the time. That 1% can be addressed by them simply saying "actually I'm a she" for example. But those 99% of people are going to be confused and maybe even offended that you don't think their gender is clear enough for you. >
  
  Allergies are also a very rare minority, but that doesn't mean I won't still check in if I'm cooking for strangers. >
  
  Allergies pose an immediate threat, possibly death within minutes. The response from accidentally calling someone "her" when they prefer "he" does not pose the same threat. >
  
  Neither do most social niceties, as I mentioned in my other comment. No one dies if you don't say please and thank you, but people will think it's rude not to even though the words are quite superficial. >
  
  It's not really comparable to "please" or "thank you" either. No one is really going "oh wow, they didn't ask that person their pronouns, how rude." Because even if you accidentally misgender someone, and it's an honest mistake, it's like bumping into a stranger. It's not rude, it's just an accident. >
  
  Is your view about it being seen as rude, or about it being a trend? It's a feature of language and now that there is widespread social awareness people will incorporate it into their routine of meeting someone. Honest mistakes happen all the time but that has nothing to do with whether or not a specific type of social question is a trend. It's not like asking what colour someone's fidgit spinner is, or whatever other thing you'd identify as a trend. It's a part of people's lives. >
  
  
  It's a feature of language and now that there is widespread social awareness people will incorporate it into their routine of meeting someone.
  
  If you truly think it's caught on this much, I assure you that it's only due to your social bubble. >
  
  I mean I don't even think it IS a trend. I have never heard someone ask tht in real life >
  
  Have you BEEN to a university? >
  
  not in recent years >
  
  Someone in a project I'm on was told off for saying "I'm a guy" when asked his pronouns by his team leader. >
  
  they just use guy/guyself pronouns 🤣 >
  
  ***guy uses guy/guyself