comment: >
  
  May I recommend the old timey pear of anguish?
context: Several years ago someone fired a bullet right across my mom's couch and the bullet landed just next to my mom's bed. Fuck every single one of you idiots that do celebratory gunfire. >
  
  With an umbrella ☔ sideways >
  
  Go for corkscrews. Smaller but far more effective at tearing idiots a new a-hole
  (Edit: typo)