comment: >
  
  You mean like if someone sees a Grandma in the store and later on they  say something like "I saw this cute old lady with the funniest sense of humor today!"
context: Not an older adult here but have a few thoughts, because this is definitely an interesting conversation. I don’t think it’s out of a fear of old age or even a lack of respect. I think the “cute” label can come from a variety of places. For instance, sometimes people use it to sort of lighten or excuse the behavior of someone who is extremely old and isn’t meeting current social norms. Like, “oh that cute old man at the coffee shop told me I’m looking extra foxy today!” Like, emphasizing that the behavior is well-received because of the person’s advanced age, even though it may be considered creepy or something from a younger adult. Another instance I see a lot is when it’s used as sort of a stand-in for “quaint.” Like, “my adorable neighbor still makes scrapbooks for all of her grandchildren” or “my grandpa still writes my dad letters every week. It’s so cute.” It’s often used when talking about older adults who engage in behavior we see as harkening back to previous times. 
  I will concede that it is infantilizing, in that it’s typically directed towards a population that is old enough to be quite dependent on others. I almost never see “cute” used for people like Nancy Pelosi or other older adults who hold positions of power or give off an air of independence. Unless they do a bunch of funny old-timey behaviors (which would fall into the “quaint” category above).
  In all, I agree it’s infantilizing, but I don’t think it’s completely based on a lack of respect or a fear of old age. I think it’s simply a commonly-used adjective to describe those who have aged out of full independence and/or the ability (or desire) to keep up with current social norms.
  Edited for typo