comment: >
  
  If only there was a way someone could have known something like this would happen…
context: This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine. >
  
  "I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!"
  two hours later
  "S e  T  ngs a e f ne!" >
  
  So, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...
  I was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers.  Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off.  And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...
  You'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character.  And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying.  I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...
  I'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea.  I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform!  This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make.  Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...
  I'm going to need to be really drunk for this one... >
  
  Well they are doing database sharding... >
  
  Probably.  But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.
  For one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies.  Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.
  It also just like, logically makes no sense.  Which is why I want to do it lol >
  
  Ah, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.
  It would be a type of efficiency I guess. >
  
  That's true.  The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though.  E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right.  It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.
  But that wouldn't be funny.  So I'm definitely not going to do that lol
  Although I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways.  I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though.  I don't think I can host that many databases.  I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.
  The university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often.  I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again.  What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still.  I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol >
  
  This is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :) >
  
  It definitely could be.  But not for me.  I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work.  
  For one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one.  Which is a terrible way to start lol
  And then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem.  I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.
  That and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol
  But with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out.  Really anyone who's also into stupid projects.  There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.
  
  I've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started.  I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful.  That portion isn't looking good, sadly.  I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.
  I'm going to rethink how I can scale this out...  My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database.  Because that concept is still really funny to me. >
  
  Elon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0. >
  
  Soon to be RAID -1. >
  
  Ha! How bout RAID √-1 >
  
  But did you consider RAID Shadow Legends? >
  
  
  The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.
  
  Followed immediately by:
  
  Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. >
  
  Correlation is not causation!
  ...but maybe this time. >
  
  Occam's Razor >
  
  I tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler. >
  
  Ahh, Occam's Trimmer. >
  
  Occam’s Manscaped >
  
  use promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order! >
  
  Do they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs... >
  
  Sure! They're pink and cost an extra $5. >
  
  This muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and "omg nothing happened, this is easy" last week, so this seems about right. >
  
  "Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!" >
  
  I worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers,  because "things just worked". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings. >
  
  So I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice. >
  
  I had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious... >
  
  Oh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.
  I hear you. >
  
  That sounds ripe for malicious compliance. >
  
  
  Added note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry. >
  
  Hey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again? >
  
  If he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on. >
  
  Elon has never turned on anything in his life. >
  
  Absolutely false. He is definitely the type to turn himself on. >
  
  I can totally see Elon doing the Silence of the Lamb mirror scene. >
  
  I'm picturing Smithers with the Mr. Burns boot-up screen on his computer, except, now it's, "Hello, Elon. You're quite good at turning me on." >
  
  “The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. Elon Musk took over the site in late October. Twitter no longer has a communications department.”
  Yeah, it’s a mystery isn’t it? >
  
  Legitimately surprising it took this long for wheels to start to come off, tbh. Those 75% should be damned proud. >
  
  Elon was literally walking around unplugging servers the other day. I'm honestly surprised at how resilient Twitter must have been to survive this long. >
  
  Good developers build a lot of resiliency into their applications. It may have taken this long for all of the structural support pieces to finally start buckling. 
  That being said, couldn’t happen to a more dickish CEO. Fuck Elmo. >
  
  the resiliency is actually not that complicated. And a lot of servers do more than just simply hosting content on the web. Elon could have killed automated scripting servers, backup systems, hot spare servers, HA peers, Windows Server Update or Red Hat satelite systems, etc...
  The web page wont go dark just because some servers were turned off. >
  
  If you remove 75% of a parachute, it doesn’t seem like a problem until you meet the ground. >
  
  But the backpack is so much less bulky and lighter.  I can wear it under my jacket now! >
  
  Everybody rushes to see, Twitter glitches that much harder >
  
  It’s like cow tipping. On three! >
  
  A lot easier to take down a website than a cow. >
  
  This was predicted in the first wave of "you may be breaking several employment contract laws across the globe" mass-firings.
  Fucking maintenance up never causes immediate systemwide failure. It takes a bit of time for all the redundancies, failsafes and margins competent workers gave themselves to finally 'run out'. >
  
  I mean, isn't this one of the hallmarks of IT - they work well enough that the not-IT people think IT isn't doing anything, so they downsize and suddenly, amazingly, things stop running smoothly... >
  
  Precisely. Many such jobs are the kind where nothing bothering you means it's being done proper. >
  
  Who would have figured laying off 75% of the staff would cause a few glitches? >
  
  Andrew Tate got destroyed by Greta on Twitter and it implodes.
  She’s destroyed the space along with the person! >
  
  oh? What'd Greta say? >
  
  Tate went out of his way to ask for her on Twitter her email to show off his list of expensive cars that burn gas to her.
  She responded by saying her email is smalldickenergy@getalife.com
  Edit:wording >
  
  then he went on a rant video saying "see i knew it, shes trans, why else would she have an email talking about the size of her schlong"  
  cause when rightoids cant think of a comeback, all they have is "But trans people"  
  as he tried to double down, he made himself look even more like an idiot lol >
  
  He's rubber, she's glue. >
  
  Boing fwip >
  
  I thought Elon and his followers said Twitter could be ran with 20 people in a broom closet? >
  
  You could probably run Twitter with 20 devs if all you had to focus on was like the US. 
  As soon as you start moving it into other regions though, that goes out the window. Original Twitter crew probably has different versions of Twitter running in different regions due to requirements from different countries -- basically different kinds of business logic. 
  Wouldn't shock me if the core remaining devs are in the US and they made a change assuming all the different regions operated the same way; then pushed it out everywhere. In the past there was probably teams in these other regions that reviewed and tested new code for their area before finally applying it. >
  
  Not to mention different legal compliance concerns… >
  
  If you have no legal counsel, can you truly have any legal concerns?
  ^^^^(The ^^^answer ^^^is ^^^yes) >
  
  There’s no communication department for foreign lawyers to contact, so… checkmate >
  
  This is going to take all of the smartest minds we have to figure out this Murder She Wrote level mystery. >
  
  Matlock could do it. >
  
  Columbo, meanwhile, doesn't even pick up the phone. >
  
  Grew up on Columbo, best lieutenant ever. 
  Can you imagine how much musk would lose his shit from Columbo always being there and always asking the right questions..
   Just one more thing.... >
  
  Lol I’ve been told by Elon dick riders that have never written a line of software in their lives 10x now that nothing would happen because all of those engineers were dead weight. 
  Despite the reliability engineers that worked there themselves saying the site will bug out eventually and despite me being a Software Engineer that specifically builds web apps telling them that it will bug out eventually because an app of this scale requires a ton of maintenance from a ton of teams. >
  
  Elon Musk is really killing Twitter. >
  
  It was said that he would bring balance to the Twitter, not leave it in darkness >
  
  Zero is an even number. >
  
  Is it?  I never thought about it before, and now all my limited math education is too far behind me to remember.  It would fit the pattern of every other integer being even, but I don't know if zero is defined in a way that allows it to be considered an even number.
  Quick, someone get a numbersmith to answer this! >
  
  This was predictable. It has at least 10 years of technical debt if not more, and most of the people who knew how to keep it chugging along got fired or quit. >
  
  That's something capitalists bosses tend not to properly value - institutional knowledge. There are things people know that aren't written down that are absolutely essential to the business. Fire those people and that knowledge is gone. >
  
  I'm one of those knowledge people and when bosses do know it, they pay damn well!
  I'm training up another guy in my department and documenting as much as I can, but I also have work to do.. Plus, it's hard to remember all those tiny little things that don't impact anything day to day until that one corner case comes up again. Oh well... Job security! (as long as Elon doesn't send someone into my industry to buy up my company, lol) >
  
  Lol same. I’m personally responsible for too much code and business logic. I got a raise and then a 2nd retention raise this year cause people were leaving my company in droves and they didn’t want me to leave. >
  
  Did the journalist reach out to Twitter for a comment. 
  “Twitter no longer has a communications team” 
  OMEGALUL >
  
  Every article about twitter has it at the end. At this point its become a meme just as much as it is accurate. >
  
  
  Musk said that Twitter is still up for him in a tweet, but did not specify whether he was using the app or the site
  
  Followed by:
  
  Twitter also removed the function that shows the device users are posting from
  
  Genius >
  
  Ah, the ol "Works for me" excuse. >
  
  Elon: What is this "load balancer"? If I turn it off, nothing breaks so I guess we don't need it. >
  
  Also turn off all those Redis instances! You own Twitter now, what do you need Reddit for, amirite? >
  
  Individual parts of Twitter might begin to fail, such as the aforementioned direct messages. Users might notice an increasing slowness, a failure to save individual posts or upload images, or possibly an inability to log on to the site. >
  
  I keep getting logged out of my account randomly, so maybe that's starting >
  
  Please Harambe, let this be the beginning >
  
  My company has hired a few Twitter folks recently. All of them said Twitter won't be functional in a few months >
  
  They're going from 3 to 1 data centers. Idk about you but if I need 3 buckets to hold all my water. I'm gonna spill a bunch trying to force it all into one bucket...
  Saved a lot of money on bucket rentals though. >
  
  wait, really? Do you have a source for this? I want to see his justification. >
  
  gracias, oh simian spirit >
  
  Peace be upon all who do not throw their children into gorilla enclosures. >
  
  Perhaps firing a massive number of employees to cut costs wasn't such a great idea. 
  Have fun saving money with half a website. >
  
  Ah yes. The system-wide issues are beginning to show up now. Good luck, Musk. >
  
  Shocking...  Who coulda seen this coming... Except everyone. >
  
  I guess he finally unplugged something that mattered. >
  
  Twitter going down the shitter. >
  
  All around the world, Twitter's glitching for me >
  
  Who knows, what Elon, is thinking >
  
  Elon is thinking it works on his end just fine. >
  
  Teslas still on the road >
  
  The memes under #TwitterDown are hilariously brutal and priceless.
  Here’s to anxiously waiting for an epically legendary  manbaby tantrum.. >
  
  he's now claiming that backend architecture was updated, so it's going to be way faster.
  And the sycophants are praising him.
  Meanwhile, shit's still buggy as hell. >
  
  When I refresh the For You (without logging in), "Twitter Down" appears on the trending list for a split second then disappears instantly, letting everyone know that not only is it broken, but that information is also being clumsily hidden from view. Totally cool and fine. >
  
  Elon, taking down twitter and tesla.  Sorta sounds like his hero trump and his track record for collapsing otherwise successful businesses. >
  
  At least trump branded businesses were designed to fail. they were just a way to steal money from investors. Elon can't even use being a con man as an excuse. >
  
  My coworker got endless emails last week…over 100 from the Twitter promoted tweets team saying our new campaign was approved. We haven’t done a campaign in over a year and haven’t submitted anything. 
  System is working great >
  
  Weird how firing your programmers, a vital resource for a company like Twitter, an treating those remaining like sht and overworking them, can cause sht like this to happen. Musk claims he asked employees on break what their job is and fired people who said they don't know. Truth is more like they explained and musk didn't know wtf the job was, and now departments are empty that should not be! >
  
  It's so funny watching Elon boast about Twitter still working. As if it has nothing to do with the years of hard work on making it so resilient >
  
  Obviously the problem is the employees aren't hardcore enough.
  Wheel in some more cots >
  
  It basically took 2 and a half months of basically no maintenance and supervision to start bringing this site down. 
  That is some good development there, someone should hire them guys! >
  
  I rejoice in seeing a billionaire implode through sheer ego. We need more of this so that people will finally stop worshipping billionaires as the ultimate in “success.” They’re precisely the opposite. They are an indicator of everything that’s wrong with our current societies. She said sententiously. 🙂 >
  
  Ohhh, I was totally in the mood for popcorn, let me grab some.... >
  
  Wait, you mean turning off production racks without knowing what they actually do WASN'T a brilliant, 4-d chess move? >
  
  Well, I'm shocked.  I totally thought Elon knew what he was doing here in social media, an industry he had zero experience working in.  Shocking!! >
  
  The number of people who seem to think that using social media a lot means you're qualified to run a social media site is surprising
  This is honestly less true than it is for most businesses, it's like saying you'd be fit to run a cartel because you're personally a crackhead >
  
  Anyone notice the Twitter feed just ends now before you could keep scrolling non stop. Huge bummer that Twitter is so clunky now even the trending page use to give little blurbs of what each trending topic was about now that’s gone too. >
  
  When Twitter is understaffed way below minimum things will eventually start go wrong.  This will be one of many outage that will now become the new "feature" of Twitter. >
  
  The Twitter Song!
  (🍌to the tune of 'The Banana Song' by Harry Belafonte🍌)
  LAAAAAY-OHH! LAAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OOOOH!!!
  Layoff come and we got to go home.
  Work for fascist billionaire!
  (Layoff come and we got to go home)
  Thinks Twitter code come from thin air!
  (Layoff come and we got to go home)
  Network not going to run itself!
  (Layoff come and we got to go home)
  Hope you have some little elfs!
  (Layoff come and we got to go home)
  Cut 6K, 7K, 8K jobs!
  (Layoff come and we got to go home)
  6K, 7K, 8K jobs!
  (Layoff come and we got to go home)
  Hey, Moderation Man! Tally up me Nazis!
  (Layoff come and we got to go home)
  Hey, Moderation Man! Tally up me N-words!
  (Layoff come and we got to go home)
  LAAAAAY-OH! LAAAY-AY-AY-AY-OHHH!!!...
  Layoff coooome and we got to go hoooome. >
  
  I owe someone some fake internet points because I said it would have been at this point at the 3rd week after takeover. They said it would be wildly profitable by then, so I guess we both lost. >
  
  bring back the fail whale! >
  
  He never left. He's still the owner. >
  
  The end for Twitter, it seems, may have arrived. Not with a bang, but a whimper. >
  
  Ngl this is a bang as you'll ever see one for the end of a company >
  
  Pretty much the only way to beat it is outright criminal activity, such as Enron, FTX, or Theranos >
  
  Gonna go down when those certs expire lol >
  
  Can't wait for their domains to expire and get registered by someone else. >
  
  pretty soon a glitch will be a vulnerability >
  
  Yes, very sad.
  Anyway... >
  
  are you telling me that a website that fired over half of it's staff is now glitching out? color me shocked. >
  
  I mean people are delusional if they think firing and having quit like 80% of the staff wouldn't cause problems.
  it's likely only going to get worse. I also suspect the biggest problems will come from chaos agents working to take twitter down.
  thing is my twitter feed is garbage compared to where it was before they "let that sink in"
  Right now i'll get a ton of just newspaper updates, essentially looking like reddit or digg. sometimes i'll get someone retweeting something only to have the original tweet show up right after.
  All this might seem normal if i followed like 10 people, but at 600 people i expect more diversity.
  thing is I did get more diversity before Elon. So whatever he is doing is ruining the actual twitter experience and quality. >
  
  At this rate it might not even matter whether or not you have chosen to delete your Twitter account. >
  
  Agreed. I never found a reason to be on Twitter. That didn't stop me from having an account every now and then to check things out over the years, but nothing kept me there. I would explore a few days, and then it was adios. I'm probably completely done doing that now. >
  
  When I said months ago, joking, that he would make it fall apart because he was forced to purchase it, I never thought it would actually be what’s happening. Absolutely hilarious that he’s failing this so extremely. >
  
  Mastodon working just fine. >
  
  I'm shocked, shocked I tell you! /s
  Musk FAFO, big time. >
  
  Well, it looks like I won 1000 dollar bet...  I bet a friend that it would take less than 3 months for twitter to shit the bed.  
  Strange how the share price is still high... >
  
  I mean, it's infinitely high because you can't buy shares anymore, so that's sort of correct? >
  
  Well you can, but you'd have to buy as an accredited private equity investor, and Elon is only selling at the same $54.20 price he bought in on, which is fucking ridiculous (the whole thing about being a private company is the seller can set the price to anything he wants and that's "the price" because no one knows whether anyone was stupid enough to pay it) >
  
  I'm not even sure he's actually selling to anyone, to be clear >
  
  He said he was but he says a lot of things >
  
  "The iPhone and Android versions of Twitter were largely unaffected; the only glitch that this writer and other SFGATE staffers observed was that that notifications tab did not appear to be updating. This writer also found that the website was operational when not logged in."  
  So is not even capacity! >
  
  Elon is the sort of guy who'd defund a fire department because it's raining outside. >
  
  I didn't notice.. oh wait, I don't have an account there. >
  
  It looks like in the past day or so they announced 14 less ipv4 prefixes. Nothing looks like anything changed from the passive data available on the internet >
  
  There is nothing wrong, Elon cleaned it up! All the bots and pedos are gone! There is no war in ba sing se! >
  
  I noticed recently I'm able to see comments and everything again despite not being logged in. For a while before robot's takeover I wasn't able to view comments without being logged in and I much preferred that. >
  
  So Twitter does have extra load :) ! >
  
  There were some threads about this a few weeks ago, that this would start to happen.
  ​
  Well guys, they were right. >
  
  I have never heard of Twitter being down until now. I guess EM has been unplugging servers at random to see what happens since he fired all the people who keep the system running.
  Twitter always worked well... which is why so many people used it (including EM). While one might disagree with the political aspects of how content is filtered,  I don't think any complained about the infrastructure. >
  
  You couldn’t make this stuff up >
  
  Needs more salient lines of code to run. >
  
  Maybe they should change the name to Twitcher >
  
  Since the Elon mess, I can't stop thinking of it as Twatter. >
  
  What did that over inflated ignorant ass egomaniac unplug yesterday? >
  
  To give Elon credit, that took a little longer than I expected >
  
  I swear he is like the guy that flipped the containment lever in Ghostbusters >
  
  "His autopilot doesn't drive. His Twitter is a disaster. His grasp of online posting is remedial at best. He didn't design Tesla. He didn't code anything for SpaceX. Et voila! It all adds up. The key to this entire case. And it was staring me right in the face. Like everyone in the world, I assumed Elon Musk was a complicated genius. But why? Look into the clear centre of this glass onion. Elon Musk is an idiot!" >
  
  40+ billion for this shit btw. It is embarrassing and it sounds like some shit that would happen in succession lol. >
  
  Is this elon dude literally out to make sure that everyone unanimously understands and agrees as to how painfully fkn dumb and awful he is? >
  
  You know that saying, It’s better to be thought a fool than open your mouth and erase all doubt? 
  Yeah, he didn’t get that memo. >
  
  I’m shocked. 
  Here is my shocked face:  -_- >
  
  Boycott Musk and Twitter >
  
  And Tesla >
  
  Ol' Musky numb nuts will probably say Twitter is so popular that the servers were overloaded. >
  
  Buttons aren’t toys…. “Even after I disconnected one of the more sensitive server racks” >
  
  Hold up, is the fail whale back?! >
  
  I don’t think that’s accurate, since it says it’s been down for more than a week. >
  
  Soon
  “Antifa hacking Twitter and causing all these problems“, says Musk, while unplugging another server. /s >
  
  Odd. 
  Turns out, all of the examples given to us by elon, continue to prove how inept he is at business. 
  Over promise, under deliver, grift and grift away. >
  
  
  The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear. 
  
  Lies and propaganda. >
  
  Everyone jumping to conclusions. Has anyone even tried CALLING Twitter? >
  
  The communication team has been fired already. >
  
  That's what happens when you try to "clean up the code" Elon. >
  
  I used twitter to keep up with sports news and scores. Now, when it shows a game that on in the for me, when I click on it I just get the time the game starts. There also used to be a banner that had the most popular games/scores for various sports. That’s been gone completely the past few days. >
  
  Someone let Elon sit at the keyboard. They had to yank the plug before he committed that shit. >
  
  This is deliberate. Twitter for all its faults was being used by people world wide to connect and engage outside the influence and power of monied political interests. They were creating and sharing stories the monied hadn’t controlled and monetized yet so it had to be broken by a bent man >
  
  While I agree this seems like it could be deliberate, what I don't see is how Musk benefits from this in any way. $44bn is way too much to just be fuck-you money.  Elon's lost standing on the richest-man lists, and he's being humiliated on a daily basis by Twitter's nonstop fails. And that probably hurts Musk more than the money lost.
  Either way, what could he possibly be getting out of this to make it worth turning himself into a laughing stock? >
  
  The conspiracy theory that this was intentional never made any sense, the only version of it I'll allow is possible is that people more powerful than Elon realized he was insane and stupid enough to actually destroy Twitter and destroy himself and his fortune in the bargain, and stepped aside and let him do it because they were okay with that outcome
  But there's no way that Elon was "paid off" to do this, I wouldn't even really believe the theory he's being blackmailed or something -- burning up his whole fortune wouldn't be a rational reaction to any of that, it could only possibly make him more vulnerable and powerless
  He's just a fucking idiot who's crazy to boot, you need to adjust your worldview to accommodate the fact that very rich and powerful people have brains that do not work, there is no one in the driver's seat of this chaotic world >
  
  Doesnt even matter who they got advising them. When someone with lots of money wants to do that stupid thing and you can’t tell them otherwise, sometimes it’s best to make sure the check’s cleared and go “Sure thing, Boss!” >
  
  new tweet layout is god awful >
  
  It gets me every time an article says that Twitter no longer has a communications department >
  
  It’s a feature not a bug.