comment: >
  
  Elon has never turned on anything in his life.
context: This pairs nicely with that Elon tweet, where he boasted about shutting down critical servers and Twitter was still running fine. >
  
  "I'm going to shut down critical servers and things will be fine!!!"
  two hours later
  "S e  T  ngs a e f ne!" >
  
  So, I know you're joking, but in my head I took this way too far...
  I was imagining Twitter actually sorting every letter of every tweet into different databases on different servers.  Because otherwise how would you lose letters if you shit one off.  And then I started trying to figure out how you'd make that work...
  You'd need like, 128ish databases to cover each ASCII character.  And then some incredibly stupid way to put this all back together for displaying.  I thinking some sort of bit mapping bullshit...
  I'm going to build this tomorrow if I can remember this idea.  I'm going to build the world's second least efficient Twitter platform!  This is so ducking stupid that it's the exact kind of thing Id make.  Might have to pair it down though, I don't think my home network or vm hosts could handle that many hosts...
  I'm going to need to be really drunk for this one... >
  
  Well they are doing database sharding... >
  
  Probably.  But I seriously doubt they're splitting up every single post based on the letter.
  For one, as a sharding strategy that'd be horribly inefficient due to letters having different frequencies.  Your E database would go to shit fast while the Z database does basically nothing.
  It also just like, logically makes no sense.  Which is why I want to do it lol >
  
  Ah, but you could concentrate your compute and I/O on the more frequently used letters, scaling down as you progress through the alphabet (ASCII character set). You could even optimise locally for different languages by sharding the db's and autoscaling to the required frequency.
  It would be a type of efficiency I guess. >
  
  That's true.  The balance might be too extremely lopsided to really work though.  E is used like 60x as often as Z or J, if I remember right.  It would always be better to combine a few of them just to raise your minimum usage on each database to avoid weird unexpected usage spikes.
  But that wouldn't be funny.  So I'm definitely not going to do that lol
  Although I'd probably have to combine a bunch of shit anyways.  I seriously don't think I can host that many VMs though.  I don't think I can host that many databases.  I think I'll have to do like, 26 for each of the main letters, and then a 27th database for misc characters.
  The university I went to way back when has a huge cluster that's not used very often.  I might try and bribe a few of the staff who used to like silly projects to get access to it again.  What I really wish would be access to my old web hosting set up from ~10-15 years ago still.  I could have hosted this for real, and maybe even survived the reddit hug of death lol >
  
  This is feeling more and more like a research paper opportunity for someone :) >
  
  It definitely could be.  But not for me.  I approach dumb scenarios the wrong way for that type of work.  
  For one, I'm going into the problem knowing that the solution is absolutely 100% the wrong one.  Which is a terrible way to start lol
  And then I fully intend to do zero research or work to find the best way to approach the problem.  I have a couple really stupid ideas that are going to be capital B Bad, and that's the way I like it.
  That and I'm going to be drinking while I write this lol
  But with that said, it's definitely a thing a uni student could try out.  Really anyone who's also into stupid projects.  There's already similar projects for other data structures, I've just never seen anyone build out their entire distributed database structure around such a dumb idea.
  
  I've got all weekend to work on this, and I'm getting started.  I've already got my basic/minimalist database VM set up, and I'm going seeing if I can get 30 clones to run on my host without shutting down all the stuff I have that's actually useful.  That portion isn't looking good, sadly.  I really wanted these to all be VMs on the same host because my actual network isn't that fast and I have a feeling this is going to be bandwidth hungry as fuck.
  I'm going to rethink how I can scale this out...  My only goal is to be able to turn off databases dedicated to specific letters and have the site continue working, but with all content missing the letter of the missing database.  Because that concept is still really funny to me. >
  
  Elon: No more additional storage! I want everything converted to RAID 0. >
  
  Soon to be RAID -1. >
  
  Ha! How bout RAID √-1 >
  
  But did you consider RAID Shadow Legends? >
  
  
  The cause of this Twitter outage is unclear.
  
  Followed immediately by:
  
  Twitter has laid off nearly 75% of its staff, according to some estimates. >
  
  Correlation is not causation!
  ...but maybe this time. >
  
  Occam's Razor >
  
  I tried to shave with that once, but it didn't work, because my electric was simpler. >
  
  Ahh, Occam's Trimmer. >
  
  Occam’s Manscaped >
  
  use promo code OCCAM for 20% off your first order! >
  
  Do they make ladies razors to? I need to shave my legs... >
  
  Sure! They're pink and cost an extra $5. >
  
  This muppet was talking about unplugging production servers and "omg nothing happened, this is easy" last week, so this seems about right. >
  
  "Why do we even have IT people? Everything works flawlessly. Fire those useless sods!" >
  
  I worked in IT for years. I was leaving a previous job and they decided to not replace me, the sole IT guy for 50 users and 2 racks of servers,  because "things just worked". Sure enough, two weeks later the phone rings. >
  
  So I guess you have to document anything you do to prove that you're actually doing stuff or they won't notice. >
  
  I had an IT job once where I had to document literally everything in a huge excell file. Every update performed, every backup that failed, every little lost email, every damn thing. It just became way too tedious... >
  
  Oh god. Lap/Desktop support - mgt decided that tickets weren't enough. Mandated that every time you touched an asset for any reason you had to document it. As if you weren't already busy enough keeping up with the tickets. Nothing like adding busy work to your actual workload.
  I hear you. >
  
  That sounds ripe for malicious compliance. >
  
  
  Added note to log, logging the logging of previous log entry. >
  
  Hey Elon, did you try turning off and back on again? >
  
  If he turns it off he won't know how to turn it back on.