comment: >
  
  Some people overdramatize how bad their parents are, some people underdramatize how bad their parents are. Almost any some statement you make will be accurate. 
  You need to define what you mean by badness. Some obvious bad things.
  
  
  Is it ok to be gay around them? Like whether you are or not, are they openly homophobic? Are they openly racist against a race? Are they openly sexist? 
  
  
  Did they keep you fed, avoid many insults, avoid beating you, and generally maintain the basic level of parenting that was needed?
  
  
  Did they avoid treating their mental illness or your mental illness in whatever way was manageable with their finances?
  
  
  Did they prepare you for a financially solvent life, either by teaching you and exposing you to enough difficulty and not being controlling so you can learn to survive, or by guiding you very carefully to a company job?
  
  
  That's the basics I would want from all parents. Did your parents do that?
context: /u/ViewOk4348 (OP) has awarded 2 delta(s) in this post.
  All comments that earned deltas (from OP or other users) are listed here, in /r/DeltaLog.
  Please note that a change of view doesn't necessarily mean a reversal, or that the conversation has ended.
  ^Delta System Explained ^| ^Deltaboards >
  
  I don't think you can easily change a view that relates to 'some people'.
  It can be summarized as 'some people are overly dramatic'. Hard to argue that.
  If you'd have said 'CMV: everyone overdramatizes how bad their parents were', then there'd be a discussion. A naff one, but better than this. >
  
  !delta >
  
  Is this supposed to be a delta? If your view has been changed, you need to add the word delta directly after the !, no space between >
  
  I agree, But I think this issue is not the childhood mistakes but the parents still have the behaviors which make it difficult to relate. And this makes it difficult to connect and repair the relationship. Being a parent now I understand a lot of their decisions which I thought were mistakes, I wouldn’t have made the same choice but I understand why they did and “forgive” them for it
  For example if your parents were very strict, and religious growing up.  Now as a middle aged adult you still “get in trouble” for doing something against their views And they force their religious view onto you and your children. I think it’s not so much the mistakes they made, it’s the continual impact of them which stops the relationship developing 
  The true test of a successful parent is do the children want/chose to hang out with you? And can they tell you anything? If this isn’t happening then it’s probably not the mistakes from childhood, it’s likely the parents still have this behavior and the damage from the childhood makes it harder to form a relationship. Always being careful which  what you say when your around your parents is not a good base for a relationsip >
  
  Yeah you are right. How well you were as a parent is partly reflected on how willing your kids are to spend time with you as they grow into their own person. 
  It’s just I think sometimes you have to compromise, like yeah it isn’t great that I can’t talk freely around my parents to a degree but I still feel like there can be a bond and we don’t have to be strangers to each other.
  ! >
  
  Yeah I know what you mean, I think there will always be a generation gap because your parents grew up in a different time, and that means there are certain things which you want see eye to eye on but you should be able to have a discussion and agree to disagree. 
  Do you have a reason for posting this? Did something happen which you had to forgive or are you just sick of people complaining? 
  At a certain age I think the parents need to move from a authority figure to a mentor, someone who offers advice and guides their kids. If the parents dont do this it causes a poor relationship which leads to “overdramatized “ >
  
  A lot happened that I forgave/forgiving and I am also tired of my friend complaining too I guess. 
  Wholeheartedly agree that at one point parents should accept that they are a mentor and no longer an authority figure! 
  Also if your parents are control freaks who try to control your life even when you fully matured and started a life of your own then yeah there will be some kind of barrier between both parties. 
  But for some reason I feel when parents are a bit controlling over their teens I very much understand their actions. I am in no way saying it is healthy, but at some point you realize that they are trying to protect you from things they fear but can’t really find it in themselves to explain I guess? Also sometimes kids could be infuriating so parents are put in positions were they become really hurtful, I used to blame my parents for my infuriating actions cuz they have similar attributes but you can’t change anyone but yourself at the end of the day I guess >
  
  Also do tell if I started deviating from the main argument. My head is always all over the place and I tend to do that a lot. >
  
  This view is so broadly stated as to be almost vacuously true. What sort of argument or evidence do you think would change your view here?