comment: >
  
  
  and start mistreating her because I was forced to continue the relationship? 
  
  Why do you have to mistreat her? You say it like it’s unavoidable that that would happen.
context: “Hey, I’m sorry I don’t think this is working for me anymore.” is a perfectly valid reason and IMO, a good reason. Like you said, shit happens and people change. As long as no one is being dishonest, it’s fine. Why should someone stay in a relationship if they don’t feel it? Good opinion. >
  
  What about marriage?  Is that a valid reason to get a divorce? >
  
  Absolutely, 100% of divorces happen because of marriage. >
  
  Yeah I totally understand your reasoning. I know it would absolutely crush me if my girlfriend broke up with me out of nowhere because she just “wasn’t feeling it” but in the end it’d be better for her and it would be even worse if she grew to resent me because she felt compelled or trapped in the relationship since she didn’t have a “reason” to leave. Leave when you need to, don’t make your partner the villain who “forced” you to stay
  Good opinion OP >
  
  Not feeling it anymore is a good reason though. Better to be honest than to lead them on. >
  
  What’s the reason for not feeling it anymore tho >
  
  That’s a little bit too personal. Let’s just say I thought things were going to be different. >
  
  that is a valid reason and i think most people agree with you anyway despite the sub you posted this on, but i think you did expect people to agree.
  i will say an i think Actually unpopular opinion and tell you that, while valid reason to end the relationship, i dont think youre not to blame at all either. maybe your partner did expect things to go exactly as they were going, and you are the one having unrealistic expectations of the relationship. i cant tell from what you are willing to share. then itd sort of be like you wasted their time with a relationship that had no chance of lasting >
  
  Not having feelings and not seeing a future anymore can be a good reason.
  Not having a good reason would be just doing it one day on impulse for basically no reason.
  That being said, I sort of agree, sort of disagree. You should at least try to fix things before breaking it off. Otherwise you're just flighty and that's your own fault. Relationships inevitably will plateau and come out of the puppy love phase, and everyone changes (granted, the changes can be good or bad and they're beyond your control). But if you don't know how to at least stumble your way through with that, you'll never find a lasting relationship.
  Breaking it off and resetting is always a gamble. Regret is very common. >
  
  Well you did just waste their time lol >
  
  If you don't have a good reason for breaking up with someone then you more than likely were not taking the relationship seriously in the first place. This us asshole behavior because you have wasted that other person's time who is assumed to have taken the relationship serious if they wanted an explanation for its ending. 
  Most relationships aren't meant to be so casual that you just cancel them like a quick appointment. They're an emotional investment (and sometimes financial too).
  Ultimately, you don't "need" a good reason because no one can stop you from breaking up but it doesn't absolve you of being an asshole. >
  
  I honestly don’t know when it became ok to just casually burn bridges and assume there isn’t consequences in the immediate or long term. This is why serial monogamists are arguably worse than polys. They can just drop a relationship cold and move on to the next person. >
  
  Truly, an unpopular opinion.   
  If you can't articulate a good reason, how do you know you actually have one? How do you know your feeling is a fleeting one?  
  I am of the opinion that if you are in a relationship, you have an obligation to make it work. "Working" isn't something that springs up spontaneously. "Working" is exactly that, work. >
  
  See I used to think like you, until I realized that no matter how hard you try, you can’t build a sand castle if all you have is gravel. >
  
  Why would you want to build a sandcastle? Sandcastle’s are weak and easily destroyed. 
  Maybe work on your metaphors. >
  
  You can't build an indestructable alien metal alloy castle if all you have is brick and mortar. >
  
  Being honest about no longer having feelings is a good reason. >
  
  Depends on how long and how serious the relationship was and how long you weren't feeling it and what you tried to do about it and how well you actually understood the relationship. >
  
  It depends what values you add to a relationship, and I do think that reasoning is super lazy.
  Lazy because, come on, there's a reason you're not feeling it. You used to be into this person with your whole heart and life, it didn't change over night. If I received that break-up reason I would definitely feel like I wasn't ever really valued, or like I didn't deserve to know what made those feelings change, ya' know? And also, I guess, unless you're a proud serial monogamist (I mean most people are serial monogamists, but most are not proud of it) it seems lazy in the sense that well, did you at least try to find the spark again? Were kids involved, and you just left still due to "not feeling it"?
  Like there's a lot of ways to look at it where that reasoning feels, at best, very flat. Although it doesn't mean you're not "allowed" to use it. >
  
  I think this totally depends on how invested in the relationship you have become. Married with kids? Definitely need to really think and evaluate before breaking it off for reasons like this. Just in a long term relationship? I think “not feeling it” is perfectly valid. People get bored and feelings change and it is better to deal with that before becoming saddled with a house and kids. >
  
  Also time. If I’d been together with someone for, say, 1 month, I get it. But no explanation whatsoever after 1 year, or maybe even more? It’s not immoral so to say, but I’d definitely be hurt. >
  
  There is an explanation though. The explanation is “I’m not into you anymore.” People lose their love/attraction all the time, and that is valid at any point of the relationship. >
  
  Welll, there are strange and extreme reasons:
  “You did not say “hi sweetie” the moment when you got home. Yeah we are done” 
  Or 
  “You eat your peas 1 at a time. Im done” >
  
  ok true i agree but it’s just that you’re so blunt with it and people have been on both sides so they take it personal. if u care i would start saying “I just lost feelings” and throw in a “i’m disappointed but there’s nothing i could do about it” sum like that idk. but i totally agree with what u said >
  
  I agree with you if you worded this "you shouldn't HAVE to have a good reason". The way it's worded makes it sound like you should never take a relationship seriously ever >
  
  No, it just shows that you're very immature yet. >
  
  As long as you aren't jumping in and out of relationships like its the wind, then 'I feel like this isn't working out' is a perfectly valid reason. If you are burning through several relationships a year though, then that might be on you. Otherwise, its perfectly valid just to part ways when you feel things ain't working. >
  
  
  People always get mad or look at me strange when I tell them I broke up with my girlfriend because "I was not feeling it anymore",
  
  Let me ask you somethings.  
  Would you be fine if your job fired you out of nowhere and it was just because they didn't feel it anymore for having you work there?
  Would you be fine if a person you knew and saw all the time randomly punched you in the face, because when it came to holding back violence, they just weren't feeling it anymore?
  Would you me Ok if your bank closed your account one day because they just didn't feel like having it anymore? >
  
  These are hilariously extreme examples lol.
  But what would suggest that he do?  Go to unnecessary and expensive therapy sessions so that he can pinpoint exactly why it is that he doesn’t want to be in a relationship anymore?  Or should he stay in a situation that makes him unhappy under the guise of “fixing it”?  
  I understand that relationships take work to thrive, but sometimes you come to the realization that the person you’re with just isn’t what you want in life.  While that sucks for the other person, I’d rather someone be up front and tell me they’re not into it anymore than watch them slowly lose interest over time without saying anything because they feel some weird obligation not to. >
  
  
  But what would suggest that he do?
  
  I honestly don't care what he does. I'm just curious on his opinion on the what ifs, and how he would react to them. If in fact he could answer them honestly. >
  
  not always true, relationships are a partnership, you aint always gonna be feeling it. if its a few dates eh best to tell them in the nicest way possible unless they are a total ass. if youve been with this person for years, you should step back and think about what "you aint feeling" anymore and see if its really worth trashing a relationship that would otherwise be good.
  more context is needed. if you arent feeling it just because she put on a few pounds having a child with you your a total ass, if you aint felling it anymore because someone else caught your attention thats pretty shitty too, if you aint feeling it because you cant coexist and enjoy each other then there is nothing wrong with that. unless you are married, then thats a total different story, man not a womam speaking here.
  the ones ive dumped were for very good reasons, the one i married was also for a very good reason. if you arent married you are not tied to her but you should take a look at what is the problem, it might be easily worked out. >
  
  I agree with you..if you ain't feeling it, and you've been together a while, give it a bit of time to see if you really weren't feeling it, or if maybe you were sick or something that just messed with your mind. My mind plays tricks on me all the time >
  
  I think this should be the case when couples have children together.  Otherwise, idk.  They shouldn’t be forced to be committed to a relationship otherwise—that just leads to infidelity.  Bullshitting that the breakup doesn’t negatively impact children to make oneself feel better is a complete different thing.  If commitments are an issue for someone, they shouldn’t be having kids.  Frankly, they shouldn’t be adopting pets either. >
  
  You are entitled to break up with people for not feeling it anymore 100% as you should. You should be honest with women about that as well. women you date deserve to know how your prone to emotional swings as it may effect them should you get into a relationship with them. not everyone is down for that. >
  
  you don't owe anyone an explanation. fuck em >
  
  You should have a good reason for literally everything you do in life. “I’m not feeling it anymore” is a good reason. >
  
  You're free to do or feel as you wish.  It's a judgy crybaby world of sissies.  So if you wanna break up for any reason then people should respect your feelings. >
  
  I think you’re contradicting yourself here.   Fuck the sissies for having feelings, but demand others respect your feelings? >
  
  I never said that.  Can't participate in a conversation where words and phrases I never spoke are thrown into my context. Sorry, gotta go fold dishes now.  Have fun. >
  
  Nvm. Have fun folding dishes. >
  
  Hollup let him cook >
  
  You did have a good reason, whether that was falling out of love or whatever I won’t assume >
  
  A relationship being loveless sounds like a good reason to me. >
  
  Wanting to break up IS a good reason...it ain't going to get better and sticking around is likely to make it a whole lot worse in the long run. >
  
  That might be them telling you that they think you are being impulsive. >
  
  This is acually a really good reason. Its the only one we always really have if you think about it. >
  
  Agreed. Sometimes you just aren't feeling it anymore, and that's ok. >
  
  Nah you did the right thing. You weren’t married. >
  
  I don't see anything to disagree with. People change. Relationships don't always last. People aren't entitled to everlasting love or commitment. Maybe an explanation would help to for the emotional processing after a break up, but it will hardly take the sting out of heartbreak. That's love and loss for you. Cruel. >
  
  Nothing wrong with explaining to people, “I respect [person I dated], but I realize they weren’t the person for me.” 
  Anybody who gets mad at that just wants some juicy gossip. >
  
  Totally, if you wanna break up, break up, people should care more about their own happiness. >
  
  This one actually hits close to home, if you replace relationship with marriage.  And the use of “people change” to justify divorce used to piss me off for a long time as it made the whole investment into marriage a complete waste of time.  But, rationally, I don’t think this is an unpopular opinion.  I’d rather be divorced than be married to someone that doesn’t want to be with me.  
  With that said, I still don’t see a point in investing in relationships anymore.  People don’t just change in their 20s.  They are constantly changing.  I’ve seen people get married and, soon after, divorced in their 70s, because they changed. It’s like investing in stock/business that you know is ultimately going to fail.  That actually I think is the more unpopular opinion though. >
  
  Shouldn't?? Do you mean there doesn't need to be a "good reason"  to break up? >
  
  “Not feeling it” is a perfectly valid reason. You felt feelings for her, and then you didn’t. You’d be an asshole if you stayed with her despite feeling this way. Not fair to her or you. You did the right thing. >
  
  Firstly, is this an unpopular opinion or a rant?
  
  I broke up with my girlfriend because "I was not feeling it anymore"
  
  That is a good reason. >
  
  If you are a serial dater or only dating for two weeks than ya you could sue this excuse normally. But if are in a long term relationship then no. You just sound rude if you don’t try at all to make anything work. Just stop wasting peoples time to leading them on and just do hookups or something. >
  
  I think people get offended because in LTR you will have moments when you're not feeling it and if everyone bailed immediately after feeling like that, no one in the world would be celebrating their 10 years anniversary. But there's a good chance that people like them and people like you use the same words for describing different things and that's why there's a confusion. >
  
  I used to do that a lot, then I realised all humans have adhd to some degree. >
  
  I agree that this is enough of a reason to end it . But what would you suggest saying when the other party asks for further information? Like what they are doing or not doing ? Or what it is I am not feeling? How do you shut the quizzing down without being rude . I have had this happen to me and the other person usually wants more an explanation.