comment: >
  
  That’s the least to worry. How about they stick their muzzle and lick poop on every occasion then  lick their owner’s face afterward.
context: This is a friendly reminder to read our rules.
  Remember, /r/Showerthoughts is for showerthoughts, not "thoughts had in the shower!"
  (For an explanation of what a "showerthought" is, please read this page.)
  Rule-breaking posts may result in bans. >
  
  What do you mean they don't wipe? Mine regularly wipes by scooting around all over my carpet! >
  
  Get your dog tested for worms! That's one of the first symptoms. >
  
  Could also need it’s glands expressed. >
  
  It’s not could. It’s DEFINITELY. Most dogs need their anal glands expressed once a month if not every 6 weeks. . >
  
  We had a dog that required this every other week or so, even after trying all types of diets. After a few months of this, I had the vet teach me.
  "Okay, step one is you're going to want to keep your mouth closed for this..." >
  
  And this comment is the sole reason I’m never getting a dog >
  
  Yeah, TIL. Holy Christ. >
  
  My dog's booty hole prolapses before he poops. When he is done, his rectum gets tucked back in leaving the outside nice and clean. >
  
  I wish mine could do that >
  
  Yours can, but with the exception of some countries we don't assume the correct position to allow it. >
  
  I've seen tons of asian women poop over a squatting toilet over the years, and never seen one prolapse. >
  
  …why you watching so many women pooping >
  
  Unfortunately, purely by accident. I just watch so much porn that it ends up happening. >
  
  No... they lick themselves clean, and lick our faces WHILE sitting on our couches!! >
  
  The first part is ok. The second part made me recall all the moments I spent with my dog. >
  
  You kissed your dog with that mouth? >
  
  Nah you’re fine, dogs lick themselves, but humans lick each other >
  
  It’s because their rectum prolapses when they go. Meaning a small portion of their internal rectum comes out so the shit only touches what’s technically on the inside. When they’re done it goes back in leaving their external rectum clean. >
  
  Plus the lack of buttcheeks helps. >
  
  This chain reminded me of a joke: a bear is taking a shit in the woods and sees a rabbit and asks “Do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?” To which the rabbit replies “No, not one bit!” So the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his ass >
  
  This deserves more upvotes >
  
  I wipe my dog with baby wipes when I get home after a walk.  This greatly reduces fecal matter and piss stains everywhere. Hells keeps the house smelling good too. People say when they come over that it rarely ever smells like dog in the house 🙂 >
  
  Yep. One wipe takes care of the paws and butt. >
  
  Idk I feel like that's not good for either the paws or the butt... >
  
  I just use the hypoallergenic wipes from Costco. I figure if they've been good enough for my baby then they're good enough for our dog. >
  
  I think they meant, it doesn't sound good to use the same wipe for both areas... >
  
  If they’ve been good enough for their baby then they’re good enough for their dog. >
  
  My dog is my baby. >
  
  Nah man I got a corgi and she sucks at cleaning her self. So I've wiped her bum quite a few times. I hate seeing her uncomfortable. So I'll help if I gotta. >
  
  Same.  I have an elderly puggle. She can’t reach to clean herself anymore, so I wipe her bum for her. >
  
  Good on you. >
  
  I remember when my dad pointed my dog and with full sincerity said “Hey how come HE doesn’t have to wipe his ass?” >
  
  your dads got a dirty crack >
  
  When i had a dog i wiped her with baby wipes after she pooped...so no worries of her being on the couch/bed with a dirty ass >
  
  Dogs actually have cleaner rectums than humans. The bacteria from their poop is good bacteria, like when we eat yogurt, and essentially cleans the rectum as they defecate. Bacillus rectafarus is the species of bacteria that…. And actually I have no idea what I’m talking about and made that all but it could be true >
  
  Ever watch a dog shit?  Prolapsed anus…. I also have a short haired dog so that helps.  His butthole looks like mandalorians helmet >
  
  The reason we have to wipe is that we are bipeds. Dogs don’t get quite so dirty. >
  
  can you elaborate >
  
  Ass cheeks i assume >
  
  oooh yeah >
  
  We pay price for our booty. >
  
  Booty tax? >
  
  Stank tax >
  
  No no no my friend.
  They lick it clean, and then we let them lick our faces. >
  
  Hey, we cat owners know this well:
  "Living with a cat means coming to terms with the fact that every horizontal surface of the house has been kissed by their little kitty butthole!" (or will be...) 😼 >
  
  And litter box feet. >
  
  My father in-law wipes his dog every time he goes outside..humorous…but clean >
  
  Talk for yourself. When my dog comes home from a walk he goes into the shower and his butt gets a quick rinse. And if I cannot do this I have wet wipes with me.
  And he clean himself by licking. >
  
  Your dog gets a shower after every time he goes out? >
  
  Yes, but not with shampoo. I mostly use cold or warm water. And I only clean the parts that are dirty. He is very small. So his belly and paws are always dirty. And I like to rinse his butt. The other parts of the body only get cleaned if he rolled in something. 
  My dog is allowed in my bed and on my couch. He has to be clean for this. >
  
  Incorrect, my dog would wipe herself on our carpet as a puppy. >
  
  Take a shot every time fecal matter is mention in this thread >
  
  Clearly someone doesn't own a Bulldog or is familiar with a "Tail Pocket". >
  
  My partner lets her dogs up on her bed all the time, I sat on her bed once with my coat on and she was upset because I wore something from outside on her bed.  I responded with the fact that her dogs literally pee then walk through it whenever they go out for a washroom break, and she got angry with me.  I just don't understand sometimes >
  
  Yeah that's obviously nonsense on your partner's side. My hygiene standards simply dropped when I got a puppy and I adapted and that's the end of it. Wiping off paws and wet fur with a towel after coming in is all I do, the rest is training for my immune system I guess. >
  
  I know a couple that walks their dog with poop bags and baby wipes. The dog shits, they pick it up and wipe the asshole with a baby wipe and puts that in the poop bag. I get it but it’s still fuckin weird. >
  
  I do that with my dogs. They sleep on my bed, and sometimes they sit with their asshole exposed to whatever surface they’re on. That’s gnarly… so they get wiped down. >
  
  Speak for y’all self. We don’t do animals on furniture around here. >
  
  Same and our dog is very loved. >
  
  Dogs buttholes come out when they are defecating and then retract. They also don't have massive chucky ass checks like humans. They don't need to wipe nearly as much as we do. Also if you are not using wet wipes or a bidet your butthole has poop on it too that is touching your underwear. >
  
  I wipe my dogs bum for him - keep a pack of dog safe wet wipes by the back door and check him when he comes inside 
  He doesn’t appreciate it but I’m not having a poopy bum on my sofa >
  
  Omg my dogs love it now 😩 >
  
  This is partly why in my opinion letting dogs in bed is disgusting. Dogs are banned from couch in my place too. Dogs stay on the floor, period. >
  
  I'm sure people love visiting you, dog or not. >
  
  I see you bark a lot, you sit on the floor I guess. >
  
  You're hateful and cruel. >
  
  Having rules toward animals is not cruel at all. Like what the fuck is wrong with you lmao. I bet you are one of these people whose dog is ruling in the house. >
  
  I don't have a dog and I don't even like dogs. I wasn't even referring to your "rules" I was referring to the way you speak and assume things. Real hateful, my man. >
  
  wat >
  
  They lick themselves clean. Also why I never let any animal lick me. >
  
  I usually wash my dogs ass with a hose pipe before he comes inside the house. >
  
  Hey they let me sit on the couch too what’s the problem here >
  
  Yeah but they don’t have asscheeks to get dirty so they don’t really need to >
  
  My dog wipes all the time. In fact our favorite past time activities are me pulling a single blade of grass out his asshole! >
  
  Yeah, but they generally don't get a shitty ass, and when they do, they lick themselves clean.  About 10 minutes later they lick your face. >
  
  Under most conditions (outside of intestinal infections or parasitic issues), dogs don’t need to wipe.
  Humans frequently forget that we are one of the very few species who don’t prolapse their anus in order to defecate. As in, with most animals (like dogs), the anus “unrolls” outward so that the animal can poop, then one they’re done it rolls back up inside, ensuring that the animal has pretty much no nasty cling-ons. Anything that doesn’t drop is still stuck on the prolapsed part of the anus, which means it will get rolled back inside once the animal is finished defecating.
  It is only with bacterial infections of the GI tract, or with parasites inhabiting it, that you then get anal leakage and stuff hanging on around the anus of the animal.
  That’s not to say that a dog’s anus is just as clean as any other part of them. Long fur can easily come in contact with the excrement as it leaves the body. But for most any dog with short fur and who is in peak health, you don’t have to worry much. >
  
  They wipe with their tongues. 
  Which they then lick our faces with. >
  
  I do wipe my dog’s butt and paws before coming into the house. >
  
  Most pinch it off very clean and have a consistant diet so there's not a lot of unexpected splatters like humans. >
  
  I mean really that’s irrelevant in the grand scheme of things because every part of an animal is gross. Their feet are picking stuff up off the ground. Including their own poop. They roll in gross things. They sniff disgusting things and give them boops. 
  Yuck. 
  (Former pet owner who realized how clean my house stayed after the loss of my last pet) >
  
  And then we go on the internet and scream about people wearing shoes indoors >
  
  Cat owners: your cat's asshole has touched nearly every surface of the household. >
  
  Cats clean themselves quite immediately after going.  It's only a problem if your cat is obese or bad at self-grooming >
  
  We don't allow our dog to sit on our couch anymore, but because of the amount of hair she drops. She obviously has her own bed (who the fuck makes dogs sleep directly on the floor?) >
  
  I tell my dog to sleep on the ceiling but he refuses to listen to me. >
  
  We have a small doggo and we actually wipe his bum after he poops and comes inside >
  
  Many dog owners (including my family) wipe their dogs’ butts with wipes and their paws as well (and the underside, depending on the dog breed).
  If you want a clean house, start doing this. Also, for humans, no outdoor shoes inside the house (except in the shoe rack). >
  
  Right! And people freak out if you wear shoes (that have only been walking around in the office or your own driveway, and that have been wiped on the doormat) inside the house… >
  
  This is reason #1 why I kick his ass off the couch or don’t let him there at all. >
  
  Yea, dogs and cats are filthy animals. Why humans allow them in their houses is a mystery to me. I can here the torrent of downvotes coming now... >
  
  Yea, their asses dont generally get dirty like humans or cats. >
  
  Let it dry to the elements.
  Or go without pants and see what it’s like. >
  
  wipe? you mean wash? like you "wash" your hand and not just wipe them right? >
  
  I watch my dog and if there seems to be residue, I wipe her but most of the time if I don’t see it and I wipe her anyway, nothing comes with it so I’m not worried. And based on underwear skid marks, toilet in restrooms or even peoples home bathrooms, we have no place to judge. >
  
  They don't have ass cheeks so huge that it can hold up half of the load in between. >
  
  I understand they can turn their bottoms inside out though. So the bit that released the poo goes back inside. >
  
  They dont have butt cheeks. Nothing squeezing the ol' butt hole shut >
  
  Nah, if it doesn't all come out nicely - I wipe it for him.
  Also, I do not allow the dogs on the couch or beds - instead I buy them their own furniture.
  Once, many years ago I went to my Mom's friends house to pick up a piece of furniture - her 2 large dogs greeted us at the door - BOTH these dogs had HUGE smears of shit across their asses.  I took the furniture then dropped it off at Goodwill on my way home - like nope! >
  
  My dog wipes all the time. The idiot just does it on my rug instead of the grass >
  
  I check my dogs butt and give it a wipe if necessary. She has an “up” tail, so I’m hyper aware of her nasty ass getting all over my stuff >
  
  They have the Rolls Royce of crumpets compared to us messy humans. >
  
  I’ve always thought about this…. I don’t let my small dog sit on my lap after she goes outside. >
  
  And their shit doesn’t slide outta their butt cheeks to enable bipedalism >
  
  Dogs lick their balls and then we allow them to lick our face