>

I imagine having your coup fail is a bit of a gut shot.
This man's about to fake his own death to escape prosecution in Brazil. >

Well whats stopping us from prosecuting the dead? >

Just throw the book at the corpse. Not like it can be dodged. >

Ranged attacks on prone targets are done so at disadvantage. I recommend using it as a melee weapon. >

And I highly doubt it has resistance to non-silvered weapons. Goblins are mundane creatures, after all. >

i'm gonna cast raise and kill ya again >

Pretty sure I saw a picture of him eating KFC yesterday so that checks out >

Yea, he’s staying at former UFC fighter Jose Aldo’s house in Florida >

Please let that be a joke.  I'm a fan Jose Aldo. >


Darren Till was born in England, but spent years living, training and fighting in Brazil. He announced his support for Bolsonaro in 2017 well before the election that saw him take office. Paulo Costa is another UFC fighter who has been outspoken with support for Bolsonaro, as have prominent fighters like Anderson Silva, Wanderlei Silva, Rafael dos Anjos, Royce Gracie, and Ronaldo Souza.

I keep seeing more and more MMA fighters aligning themselves with right wing authoritarians. And this is just a few months after Usman, Cejudo, and Gaethje posed for photo ops with a Chechen dictator's special forces. >

Why is this surprising? These people thrive on the macho mentality. Of course they will find authoritarianism appealing >

I think it ties into the belief in a hegemony, and the idea that adhering to performing masculinity will (or at least should) pay dividends, which conflicts with where the left has been going with regards to identity and culture (aka everyone should be accepted, and conforming to traditional binary gender roles should not confer any special privilege). >

Conservatives believe the world is hierarchal and these people believe they are poised to be at the top of that hierarchy and so want to maintain a system where they are superior.
Also brain damage. >

Send him for treatment in Brazil >

We don't want him. Can we dump it in the ocean and call it a day? >

Bro wtf is going on down there - some US January 6th shenanigans? >

Basically but a dude got inside congress, took a shit inside the percolator, other literally lifted an entire door.
And also 2k people are now in jail.
They will use DNA on the shitted percolator tô indentify the poopoo man (i wish this was a joke) >

Some assholes spread shit all over the place when they invaded our capitol too. Haven't heard whether they used it to identify anyone. At least your police arrested people quickly. >

That's actually a rare Brazil W. People are really praising some of our police forces for acting so fast. The ones that refused to help will be or were already incarcerated.
I hope they can use the DNA to find the poopoo man >

That's awfully convenient. >

Yeah, how can someone so gutless have abdominal pain? >

He has a history of stabbing abdominal pains. >

Wonder if his gall bladder, liver or pancreas got messed up in the attack? >

It's the "please don't arrest and extradite me" stomach bug.
Been going around... >

I’m not down with people running away from their countries to avoid a trial or investigation, but I am actually super sick with a stomach bug/cold. Negative for COVID, and it still sucks horribly. >

Had something similar last week could barely keep water down and was only able to by eating an ice cube even 10 minutes or so. Doctors basically told me they couldn't figure it out and gave me a prescription that didn't help at all. Luckily the worst only last 2 days then I was just a little sick for a few more. Hope things are better on your end. >

Yo I got really sick two days before Christmas. I kept getting sick. Couldn't even keep down chicken noodle soup or water. Only ginger ale kind of helped. I didn't have a fever but I felt like HELL. Then it passed away like nothing. It was the weirdest shit >

This is me right now. Been a rough two days >

KFC will do that to you. >

So will a trump tower taco bowl >

You got to pay the girl extra for one of those >

Bolsonero has plenty from his thefts >

He better have insurance. >

You wouldn't ~~hit a guy with glasses~~ extradite a guy with abdominal pain, would ya? >

Gutsy question. >

Maybe from eating the Mar-a-Lago food >

He’s never gonna financially recover from this >

This may be a symptom of Chronic Butthurt. >

Probably failed coup tummy, I hear it's going around. >

Hey, it is the only comment not making jokes about KFC. >

I mean, they recommend that you do not eat greasy foods after suffering from abdominal trauma, so it really could be a complication from that.
​
If you had someone with the personality of "Don't you tell ME what to do!" - which authoritarians have - I'd expect them to ignore such medical advice. >

Oof sorry no free healthcare in Florida. >

Didn't he just eat KFC? His gut discovered the secret GMO ingredients of cheap manufactured fast food in the USA USA USA USA:) >

Probably used to dino nuggies... ate the bones... made tummy mad >

*Slowly hides voodoo doll behind my back.* >

Not only a liar and a cheat but a coward to boot. What do you expect from the far right MAGA nuts? >

Why did we let this asshole in the country? >

Because this country has a very weak president who lets the fat right run rampant. >

ha, what do you think trump wouldn't have let him in?  he'd be having hamburders with him.
oh wait...you mean it's cause he's not a wasp? >

he was literally at mar a lardo this weekend. thats probably why he's sick >

Getting tips on how to coup. >

More like getting tips on how to run the clock out on any consequences after a failed coup. >

That's what you get for eating KFC. >

Was looking for this one. >

Why is this guy even allowed in the US?? >

Extradite him ASAP and if he dies on the trip back, so what? This is how we treat other immigrants we don't want. >

Must have been the KFC. >

Holy shit, it's the equivalent of "my tummy aches, I can't go to school today".
This guy is Brazil's Trump alright, going to whatever length necessary to evade accountability. >

He was stabbed in the abdomen while campaigning 4 years ago and has been hospitalized multiple times since then because of blockages and discomfort related to that injury. >

So probably intestinal obstruction secondary to recurrent bowel adhesions. >

If that the same as being full of shit?  Sounds on point for Bolsoboy. >

Someone lace his KFC with laxatives please. >

My dude fucked up and had that KFC 3-piece in Florida. >

He's going to wish he got extradited first once he gets the bill for staying in a hospital in the U.S. >

"I don't want to pay for his healthcare." >

I wonder if he needs to have the poop pumped out of him again. It wouldn’t be the first time. More like, I don’t know, the third or fourth? >

It’s sad that this isn’t the top answer. He is literally full of shit, stemming from his stabbing. >

this mf is hospitalized like every 5 minutes >

Too much KFC will do that to you. >

"Oh my ovaries!" - The Simpsons >

Pain in Ass Has Pain in Gut >

Is this something to do with him having his head so far up his own arse? >

The same day Andrew Tates trying convince people he suddenly caught cancer, ok sure.