>

Nothing makes me happier than finding someone out in the south who knows what sponge candy and beef on weck are!! Pretty rare occasion… can’t believe sponge candy hasn’t caught on everywhere.
The earth’s crust is really not happy today. >

I read this headline, and I thought “Oh, so I guess today is just Earthquake Monday.” >

And remember, next Friday is Hawaiian shirt day. So if you want to, you can wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans. >

We'll also be sending out another memo about putting cover sheets on your TPS reports as it seems some people are still struggling with it. >

Every day at work is just a little worse than the day before. Which means every day is the worst day of my life.
Is today the worst day of your life, Peter?
…yes >

Wow, that's fucked up >

The thing is Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care. >

People can get a cheeseburger anywhere, okay? They come to Chotchkie's for the atmosphere and the attitude. Okay? That's what the flair's about. It's about fun. >

Lumbergh fucked her. >

Why should I change my name? He's the one who sucks. >

Us Californians are watching the crust extra hard today 👀 >

Been talking the ground down since i woke up. 
No sudden moves, you got it? >

Meanwhile the last few quakes here in San Diego I momentarily confused for taking a really good bong rip, lol.
Literally thought, "woah, that was a good hit, wait... Nope, that's an earthquake." >

When I experienced my only earthquake like a decade ago (the Virginia one that damaged the Washington monument), I thought I was having a heart attack or something...I was like "Why am I shaking!", then a few seconds later they broke into the TV channels with the news update >

I was at the dentist and the walls were moving fun time. >

I'm just imagining them drilling and continuing to drill during the earthquake like nothing's happening >

Buffalo has had a terrible winter man >

Great way to remove the ice and snow. >

Angel: What if Buffalo was just a giant snow globe?
God: idk let's find out >

Well according to the book of Job. Buffalo will bounce back 10 fold. We all good. >

If the book of job is to be confirmed, They havent suffered enough yet to satisfy the devil and god yet. >

Yeah covid would look like child’s play compared to what Job had to deal with. He lost his whole family, all of his property, his friends, and his own health. >

in hilariously (to god and the devil) evil ways! Its the story i quote the most when it comes to people being 'pro god is good'. motherfucker, he was literally the most loyal worshipper and he got right fucked in the ass harder than any evil person ever did in the bible, short of eternal damnation. His consolation prize was he got better shit afterwards and i guess heaven, but he still lost EVERYTHING else before that moment. Imagine someone killing your wife and kids and being like, its k heres another wife that can have kids for you as well as more BETTER friends. yeah you can go fuck yourself on that one. And if that makes me not having faith and being loyal to God, you could easily see why with examples like that. The motherfucker could of just told the devil to fuck off but instead invited him INTO jobe's life where jobe shunned the dark prince prior. Basically proving that even the devil can influence God, which begs the question how omnipotent and powerful is god if hes literally manipulatable by a lesser being and the argument that God knew the outcome beforehand can fuck right off.
It was just a prank i guess. >

I was sitting up reading about the Turkey earthquake in my bed when my apartment started to shake. I was half awake so I thought I was somehow feeling the article I was reading. Sad day. Prayers for Turkey/Syria >

I was on the toilet reading about the Turkey earthquake when it happened lmao. >

Did the shaking help matters? >

Good guy Earthquake. 
Earthquakes against anal fissures gang. >

Something's fissuring. >

First Turkey, now Buffalo?
Anyone living in locations named after animals should be extra careful today. >

Dinosaur, Colorado right now 👀 >

Don't worry, it would mostly likely be a meteor >

That's good....it'll be quick and painless. >

It will be a small meteor, made of asbestos and rabies. >

Getting nostalgic for the 80s >

Buffalo can’t seem to get a break. >

Eh we're okay, just scared us early in the morning that's all. 
But overall, yeah, Buffalo can't catch a break. That's how it's always been lol >

Good chicken wings tho so y'all got that goin' for ya. >

Chicken wings, presidential history and cool former industrial sites turned into breweries, restaurants and zip line courses. >

Beef on weck is just as amazing as wings and yet nobody talks about it
I live out west and I would cry if I found it out here in the wild >

Both sponge candy and beef on weck are due to catch fire at any time, they're so good. Whenever I go back to buffalo there's some new unhealthy culinary delight. The sesame crust on the steak pizza somewhere on the west side was my last discovery...