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Basically, I want someone to convince me why this is legitimately a good thing and not just a shameless cash grab by businesses trying to get out of providing basic customer service/backing their own product. 
And I can chargeback with a credit card but some people wouldn't know to do that and plenty use debit cards so would have zero protections against businesses screwing them over.
If I don't get the item I ordered in the condition I ordered it in and the company decides fuck customer service should've bought the protection, I can simply do a chargeback on my credit card and I'll get my money back.

This is a very bizarre form of highway robbery if it allows you to just opt out of being robbed and not lose anything in the process. What exactly is the view that you want changed here?