>

Where? The Pacific Ocean is so big! Where would that be?
Man I never find anything cool. >

I found a bit of driftwood that looked like a duck once. Almost as good as a mountain of coke. >

How much are you selling the driftwood for? Do you have an Etsy store? >

$500,000,000 or best offer. >

How about a mountain of coke?
Edit: nvm I lost mine somewhere 😔 >

Best I can do is a falafel >

Somebody's whole family is getting skinned for this one. >

Yeah like generations of them… >

The drug lords were probably angry at the time, but once they calm down they will realise everyone makes mistakes and it will be a funny story they tell each other. 

Hey Jimmy, congrats on the new baby. How are you feeling about it?

I come home and see it and still can't believe it's real sometimes, scared shitless about being a father.

Just don't panic and toss it overboard when you see a flashing light! HAHAHA

Ohh fuck you man, I said I was sorry, It's been weeks! How long are you gonna keep bringing up that $550million cocaine story? I still feel bad about that.

Haha it's cool man. We can always get more cocaine. >

Followed immediately after by Jimmy and his entire family being skinned alive. >

he waited for him to have a family to skin. Cold. >

Fun fact I learned earlier today
Being skinned alive you can die from hypothermia because the skin supplies the warm >

Thank you for spreading the knowledge, it may save a life someday! >

…I don’t think that’s the right message to take away here… >

Tell that to the future heros of our generation, blessed with the knowledge of reddit to fight these motherfuckers (i don‘t really know what we‘re up against tbh) >

Wow its going to be a quiet week in Australia. >

Pfft! Cocaine is pissweak in Australia as it is so she'll be quiet regardless:
Coke light: drug tests show 40% of 'cocaine' had no cocaine >

Having lived in Australia. Weakest coke ever. Like shit, maybe 20% pure.. 
The Mandy on the other hand was always banging >

....... Mandy? Is that like another name for Molly or something? (MDMA) >

Yes ;) >

I look forward to the "Tiger Shark on Cocaine" film. >

Cocaine sharknado >

Moby Addick    
The great white nosed whale. >

Voiced by Andy dick >

Hopefully the shark eats him. Imagine the belly ache from his toxic flesh.. >

Shark would be fucked up for weeks. >

Shark eats him in California and wakes up in South Africa 3 weeks later with a pounding headache and a truck tire around his neck. >

Looks like the next Hang Over script is writing itself :D >

We're on it. My press agent is sleeping in his bed he had a cookie after he went pee, he's exhausted call him tomorrow. >

In other news, Jalisco New Generation are looking for a new shipping manager after the previous person to hold the position fell out of a ground floor window, breaking their neck. >

Seems more like a skinned alive sort of a thing. >

while funky town - 2023 remix is playing in the background >

The sheer cruelty of some humans. Never watched it, just read brief descriptions. >

I mean they are skinning a dude's face while hes still alive & they got him juiced up on adrenaline to keep him awake while hes being skinned. I vaguely remember maybe him having his arms and feet chopped off.
I would rather just shoot myself in the head then get caught by the cartel's torture boiz. >

Seriously, cartel torture boys are no fucking joke.