>

I hear there's a bunch of women practicing witchcraft in Salem.
I can worship the devil if I want to. It's actually my first amendment right. >

You can leave your saints behind.  Cuz the saints don't dance, and if they don't dance, we'll they're no saints of mine. >

It's the Satan Dance >

s s s s s s s s s a a a a a a a a t t t t t t t t a a a a a a a a a n n n n n n n >

This needs to be remixed and mashed with NIN Closer. >

Cruz wants to fuck you like a demagogue...
Hoo hoo.. >

He wants to regulate your insides. >

He wants to fuck you like an M&M!
His whole existence is flawed. >

He brings me further from god!! >

Does anyone on this thread have the number for Weird Al’s agent?   I’d love to have him write a cover based on this … >

1980s called, they want their pretend fear of satanic costumes back. >

No shit, are they really gonna try and bring this back? >

Not like they have anything else on their agenda that the people want or like lol. 
When in doubt, just pander to the evangelical vote. They'll always be there to act as the GOP's comfort blankie when things aren't going their way. >


Not like they have anything else on their agenda...

Except;

Block student loan relief
Look for Hunter's laptop
Obsess over M&Ms
Keep 28 time Olympic gold medalist in rhythmic gymnastics, George Santos in office
Obstruct everything
Possibly bring the country to financial ruin by messing with the debt ceiling

There's s lot more but I try to ignore there dog and pony shit show. >

Don't forget mandatory reporting of under-age girls' menstruation cycles. >

And making sure black history is never taught to anyone. >

Don't you mean that they don't want the actual WHITE history being taught?
The black population weren't the ones making the history, they were being run over by it. >

I mean, Black people did a lot of things for the whole country and for the world, despite all the white supremacy and imperialism. And they also played a key role in ending their own servitude. Plus the obvious leadership in the ongoing civil rights movement.
In fact, I would argue that the history of Black politics in this country is pushing us to become the free country we have always claimed we are.
Right wingers don't want any of that taught (or properly contextualized) either. >

I agree and understand that they've done tremendous good for the country. I was just being snarky. >

Is "worshiping Satan" still a no no like it was in the 80s and 90s? Why are Republicans going to the fear playbook of the Stranger Danger years. The memo has been updated to being affraid of drag queens now. >

Because they occasionally like to "play the classics" too. Next up, Video Games Are Turning Kids Violent. After that, Playing D&D Is Satan Worship. Also, Reading Harry Potter Teaches Kids Witchcraft.
(On the latter, I wish that was true. Do you know how useful a simple summoning charm would be if you could cast it in real life?) >

That isn’t satire is it… >


that one had a whole (shitty) movie made of it!

You mean Mazes and Monsters? Tom Hank's first lead role?
I remember seeing that as a kid, who played D&D, thinking that movie was insane. 
I live in Seattle and we have an underground tour that goes through a part of Pioneer Square that was built on top of after downtown burned down in the later 1800s. I remember going down there on a class trip, having a scene where Tom Hanks is in like full armor in the sewers pop into my head, and just laughing like a maniac. 
The tour guide was pissed, I think he thought I was dicking around with my friends. >

Mazes and Monsters was based on a real disappearance, and some woman’s speculation that it had to do with D&D. The whole thing is pretty ghoulish tbh. >

Im thankful the Bible bashers now have lil nas x and Sam smith pulling their attention away from the metal community >

The metal community has done the heavy lifting for decades. We owe them a debt of gratitude. >

The metal community crawled and walked through glass so lil Nas X and Sam Smith could run. >

Cue the mental image of Kerry King passing a relay baton to Lil Nas X >

I feel Rob Halford would be more appropriate than Kerry King. >

Rob Halford hasn't put the thing down yet, dude's still making albums with Judas Priest. Firepower was solid as fuck.
Dee Snyder likewise still going on his solo projects, although Twisted Sister have packed it in as a band now.
Actually, most all of the big contenders are still going, now that I think about it. Metal doesn't pay well enough for an early retirement. >

Dee Snyder is a bad ass I love the clips of him testifying in front of Nancy Regan >

It was Tipper Gore but yeah the PMRC hearings were amazing. Dee was clearly there to be the whipping boy but he brought receipts. That said, John Denver's testimony is what brought the whole thing crashing down. They thought he was gonna fall in line with them and he compaired the whole thing to Nazi book burnings. Watch the clips of him and Frank Zappa if you haven't already. Zappa insinuating that Gore was a sexual deviant is absolutely amazing. >


Zappa insinuating that Gore was a sexual deviant is absolutely amazing. 

Dee did that too, pointing out that his song was literally just about having anxiety before a surgery, and Tipper interpreted it as being about extreme BDSM because she wanted it to be. >

JFC, do these people ever stop being upset about something?
Every single day, they are upset about some new topic, which they will harp on for a few months, and then move on to the next one.
Most recently it's drag shows, now its going to be devil worshipping? >

And it's never anything of substance, like lack of healthcare, wealth disparity, etc. Always some bullshit that has no affect on anyone. >

That’s the point… >

Republicans of Reddit, do you ever get sick of your representatives being so pathetic? >

Being a conservative sounds so exhausting. It’s just a string of outrage over checks notes M&Ms, the Grammys, and other fun things >

Seeing those videos of people smashing their keurig machines for pulling ads, cause Sean Hannity was promoting Roy Moore amid multiple sexual assault allegations (on minors), was peak cancelling. Kuerig was just like "maybe this is not a great place to air ads" and conservatives said, "I'll show you! I'm gonna smash this machine I paid full price for, and buy another one next week when I move onto the next dumbest fucking thing anyone has ever gotten upset about!" >

Cutting up their Nikes, renaming French Fries, pearl clutching over spicy mustard... the insanity never stops. >

What was the spicy mustard one? Damn I'm falling behind here. >

😞... I went to go back to the timeline where these things weren't things. >

Not wholesome entertainers like the Duggars? >

Tim Kowlan, the "Trump campaign lead" from the Cincinnati area is a case I remember.
I think what one of his victims said sums up the general character underpinning these republicans:
"Tim Nolan knew vulnerability when he saw it," one of the victims wrote in her impact statement. "He used my addiction as a tactic for control."
Now look at what Tead Cruze did here. He is exploiting christians who are vulnerable to woo like this. Same tactics, and same personality type. >

It's an inevitability of religion and right-wing politics. It works in any cult because people are people. The Inverse Law Of 'Good'

A - people start groups saying "we're the best people, so join us"
B - the worst people know they can get cover in this group because of human nature
C - given a short period of time, these groups that claim to be "the best" get totally taken over by the worst of humanity all the way to the top. 

Not a matter of if they do, but when they do. How many times does this little experiment in human behavior have to be repeated for people to see the obvious: if a person (or group) has to tell you continually they're nice, run the fuck away in the opposite direction?
Once they identify someone, there are eight steps to groom them, to bring them into the fold.

1 - You've been told that nobody else understands you like they do. For years. "Those other people, they just don't get it. Their ways are different and that's just not you. They don't understand, but we know where you're coming from..."
2 - Now that they've established that they're one of your kind of people in your mind, everyone else gets badmouthed. It's just the two of you literally against the entire world. And they'll do it so much that things that aren't epithets get used as words to hate everyone else by. Your circle of experiences starts to shrink.
3 - They'll tell you that, if you left them, things would be simultaneously the worst thing possible AND that all other relationships are just the same as the one you're in (even though you can see other people online talking about how what you're in is the only bad relationship relationship like this and all you have to do is leave them). “Both sides are the same but I’m better” - eventually, you don’t know up from down in what constitutes a healthy or a toxic relationship. Hell, they'll even show examples of the shit you're in now to say, "if you leave me and go for the other guy, it'll be like this [very bad scenario that's happening RIGHT NOW] so be scared and shit." The circle shrinks further.
4 - You're told outright what to cut out of your life. Direct instruction for you to get that circle of experiences down to a dot. Music, interests, TV shows, certain movies, even frothy coffee gets badmouthed and cut out because "you don't want to be a 'latte drinker' do you?" (there's one of those things I mentioned in #2, using things that aren't epithets as one to control you).
5 - They take your money, claim they'll be great with it, and then spend it on their friends and run up the bills. They'll give you crumbs once in a while. Maybe every few years they'll treat you to a little something nice (that's worth a fraction of what they spent when they were out with their friends). And while they're terrible with the finances, for years, they'll be saying how everything is hunky-dory financially with them at the reins. You will be told you've never had it so good but the fear of one bad bill wiping you out financially will be like the Sword Of Damocles over your head 24/7/365.
6 - every problem gets kicked down the road. A problem crops up in the New Year 2020 but it wasn't even mentioned in January because the head of the household didn't mention it. "It's going to go away" in February, and anyone that mentions it is just saying fake stuff, baby. Still nothing done in March, but any mention of it is "you're just finding faults with me". Then when April comes and it's clear what the shit storm looks like, they blame everyone else for saying it wasn't going to be a big deal. As the months and years roll on it becomes a shell game where ignoring the problem / blaming others for the problem / trying to draw attention from the problem gets switched around without stop. Even if it comes out that they knew the problem could literally kill other people, tear them apart because of gross negligence, they will not stray from this strategy. Sounds familiar, huh. Other people will be able to show you examples of where they said something promised was just two weeks away, and they said "two weeks and you'll have it" four years ago and two years ago and twice in the last month, but it's still not coming.
7 - like in any abusive relationship, you're beaten down. You've been told it'll all be your fault if things don't go as they want, and you've seen others be on the end of their random outbursts of wrath. So you stay safe. You repeat the words in the way they taught you. You repeat the answers. You repeat the words you're told are insults. Even though you know of situations where you've come out worse for the way the relationship is, you defend the abuser. First with a fake air of calm, then with a seething rage. And when people offer you a way out, you go right back to the abuse.
8 - the relationship is so twisted, you so believe everything you're told about what's real and what's not, they will literally put you in situations that could kill you. And you say you're doing it willingly, proudly, but the fact is you're a shell of the idealistic person you used to be. You just got in with the wrong crowd, but it's too late to get out now because people might think less of you. Going along with how they do it becomes how you do it too. Which reinforces what you were told in #1. Only they understand you...

They have done it for tens of thousands of days on millions of people and it has become a very precise tactic for them. The Red Pill, PUA tactics, as a science. >

But if Sam dressed up as an AR-15 they'd worship them.
Edit: Pronoun >

Idea! Make guns super gay and trans, yassify guns so conservatives hate them to own the libs >

There’s nothing gay about guns bro.
Look at that slick handle. How’s your one-hand grip, boyo? Do you hold it tight like your life depends on it? How about that long and hard barrell? Bet those can cum bullets like no tomorrow if i asked you. >

Guns are for POC in drag ‘cause they’re metal penises. The NRA is a part of the Gay Agenda! >

“Devil worship” geezuz fucking christ! Personally, I worship the great pumpkin, but haven’t seen it in a while, no matter how long I sit in that pumpkin patch. >

I grew up in a very rural, very religious (and very conservative) village in Canada. When I was in high school, my friends and I started jamming and had a crappy little death metal band. As there aren't a lot of places to play in the area, especially at 16, you take what you can get. So our group of scuzzy longhairs decided to play our first gig, if you can even call it that.
Our high school had a battle of the bands, and we thought, why not, could be fun, and signed up. We played about half an hour of slightly sloppy death metal and after that, despite telling people otherwise, no one in school (and since it was a community event, some parents too, I later learned) would believe we weren't "devil worshippers." I remember having a conversation with more than one classmate that went something like this:
"So you worship the devil?!"
"No, I don't believe in the devil."
"But like, what about god? God doesn't like that stuff."  
"I don't believe in god or the devil, not my thing." 
"Do you guys sacrifice animals?"
No. Why would I do that?"
slow blink
 "... because you worship the devil."
This was not in the 80s during the satanic panic stuff, it was the early 2000s! My older brother has a different mom, she's a late in life born again Christian, and he said she told him we were worshipping Satan on stage at the local high school, ahahaha. We were also banned from playing again, because Satan. I sadly think It won't take much to reactivate Satan panic style bullshit for a lot of people. >

Nice! I was a younger person during the satanic panic and the funny thing is we would play black sabbath records and the like backwards, trying to hear the “satanic messages” and were pretty disappointed when we couldn’t make them out. >

Your parents were doing the same thing with Beatles records because, you know, rock and roll. >

I know of a few real backmasked messages:
Iron Maiden: an impression of Idi Amin saying "don't meddle with things you don't understand"
Pink Floyd: "congratulations, you've discovered the hidden message"
Weird Al: "wow, you've really got a lot of time on your hands" >

I wonder how long it's going to take the GOP to claim that Satan is black and trans...
Those fuckers are going to try to roll everything together to rile up their base.
What next? That the apple in the Garden of Eden taught CRT to Eve? >

It's funny you mention the "apple in the Garden of Eden". Like, break that shit down into the metaphor that it is. Satan helped enlighten us, whereas the creator god wanted to keep us ignorant like animals. I know which of those dieties I support. >

Ozzy won best rock album, too >

I was really hoping for Turnstile to pull out the win, but I understand that the metal and rock categories tend to be a clusterfuck most years. I think name recognition got him the win more than anything. >

It's the fucking Grammys. It's all a clusterfuck. >

Absolutely is. I swear they just pull names out of a hat some years and their definition of what 'rock' and 'metal' music are is as broad as the Mississippi. >

Rollin' out the old Satanic Panic huh? Gotta hand it to the GOP, they know to throw in some classical fear mongering in with the new crop of CRT and Trans based fear mongering to keep their audience happy.
Don't want gramps mumbling about how this new fangled mongering just doesn't have the same ring as the early albums. >

CRT and the rest wasn't reaching gramps....  They had to reach back into the old bag of tricks to see what still works. >

Next stop, Reefer Madness!