>

Wow she sounds like a crappy person. It’s probably because she’s not happy in her relationship maybe she’s always been in one’s like it so she thinks that’s what it should be and thinks she’s happy but how disgusting of her to say it’s a red flag you don’t fight honestly sounds like she’a jealous and needs to bring you guys down to make herself feel better. Man I hate peoples like that they are obviously unhappy and hate people around them for their happiness.
Idk how you feel about her, sorry if I went to hard but damn dude I’m sorry you have to deal with that from someone in your extended family.
It's not that fighting (whether a screaming match or throwing punches) is unavoidable, it's that conflict is unavoidable. At some point you will have a difference of opinion with someone you're in a relationship with, and it will require compromise and patience from both sides of the relationship.
But that conflict doesn't have to turn into toxicity or violence as you're talking about, as long as you can talk about it together.
The conflict-resolution tool you have available is open and honest communication, and while a little white lie is fine now and then it won't help you solve relationship conflicts.
If one or both sides are unable or unwilling to have that kind of conversation, that's when the problems start. >

I agree with you. Screaming and yelling is not necessary for a healthy relationship. >

Conflict doesn’t mean screaming or yelling. >

I think occassional fights or disagreements are understandable. My wife and I generally don't argue for months on end, but there will be one little thing here or there that fires us up, but then it's over in like 5 minutes and we move on.  But multiple arguments a week, especially big ones? Seems insufferable.
My wife's sister fights so much with everyone that it's normal to her. She implied, a year or two after my wife and I started dating, that it was a HUGE red flag that we never fought over anything or had screaming matches, and that we were headed for a major disaster. We've been together for 12 years and no disaster yet.
Some people are just so belligerent and disagreeable that fighting has become their way of life. It's their answer to everything and it is omnipresent, so they convince themselves that, clearly, it must be necessary, and perhaps even a good thing.
Human beings are fucking broken, hardcore.