>

A ghost wrote this to throw us off the scent. Don't fall for it.
My fav is good ole carbon monoxide >

It’s strange that since we’ve known about carbon monoxide and have got rid of most of it in houses there are far fewer haunted houses around. >

Correlation ≠ causation except for when it does 🥵 >

yeah ghouls are just as likely to have caused those things >

Or fairies, or elves, or the schmoopypie, a yet to be proven creature I just made up. >

The Schmoopypie is a mysterious creature that lurks in the shadows, following those with long toenails and small stature. Its diet consists solely of toenails, and it is said that if it eats enough of them, it will ascend to heaven. Some say the Schmoopypie is a benevolent being, helping to trim the toenails of those it follows, while others believe it to be a malevolent force, preying on the vulnerable. Whatever the truth may be, one thing is certain: the Schmoopypie is not to be trifled with. >

Also, it's what I call my cat sometimes.