>

I worked with a bunch of redneck mechanics once. I kept a bowl of candy in the waiting area for guests and whoever else. I got a bag of mini Twix (which were the same mini candies just labeled either "left" or "right") and these guys REFUSED to eat the "left" Twix because... Libs.
Even candy is getting laid off >

But not getting laid, because it's not sexy enough anymore. >

No one asked for this. >

I asked (politely and non-patronizingly) to get laid...
Did not get laid. >

I got you, bro. >

Put yer jonsticles back in yer pants! >

Can’t wait to see the Super Bowl commercial this is clearly the lead up to. A-tier trolling M&Ms >

Yeah this is definitely some sort of Mr Peanut death level marketing stunt. >

And honestly, a commercial showing a graphic death for Mr. Peanut would bother this country less than the split second of Janet Jackson's nipple did. Hell, a live execution would cause less controversy.
This is a deeply unwell country. >

There are far worse things happening in this country than which inane celebrity controversy causes outrage >

Anything to make us forget about the repeal of Roe vs. Wade, the bungling of COVID, and the attack on the Capitol. >

Kobe died about a month before COVID was anything other than "Some weird virus in China."
I know because I was in the Philippines from ~Jan 12 - Jan 28 as the virus went from "What's going on over there?" to "Holy fuck we all need to be masked up at all times." 
He died shortly after I arrived. >

At least you were probably already prepared for people worrying over the availability of masks because of the volcano. >

Lol. NAIA shut down an hour after I landed. 
On the way back flights from China shut down 3 days after I landed; I had a layover in China. >

January 2020, we were at Philadelphia International Airport, in the international concourses, at the Admirals Club for 4 hours. Some of the sickest people I have ever seen, outside of the hospital, were in that lounge. Last flights from Wuhan had landed.  Husband and I tried to walk around the people, but they were positioned so that just leaving our seats we had to go across their air space. 
We had been in Ireland, and had watched China news for 3 weeks, and knew that some bad shit was going down there.  These people scared me. I am a retired dental surgeon, and I pay attention to public health alerts.
When we got home in January, and made that connection in Philly, my husband became gravely ill. No one knew what it was. When released, WHO  news said the disease was  officially COVID19, I asked for a test for my husband, which they wouldn't do because we had not been to China. 
He recovered after 7 weeks.
We flew to Seattle to help his 91yo mother beginning of March. We wore N95 masks, even though they said it wasn't airborne. I watched Chinese and Korean news channels. While in Seattle, my little town in Indiana became a COVID hotspot. I think it was from my husband. 
The day we landed in Seattle,, restaurants shut down.. Hotels shut down.. Flights got shut down. And it took us 10 more days past our original return flights to get out. All masking. Stores restricted. 
My home hospital in Indiana had 25 COVID19 cases. 
I know my husband had COVID. I knew ot was airborne because of the tracking of cases in China. My son in law thought I was crazy, stupid because I wore masks. Then, when he now needed ro get back to Hawaii to be with his newborn, N95s were out of stock, I had to ship him some.of my stock, and I paid for his 2 weeks in quarantine in Hawaii ( which were to be shut down, but because of my  longterm affiliation with a condo rental business, they did a secret cash deal for him, as long as he never left the condo).
When we were finally able to get out, there were only 3 employees at the big hotel we usually stay at, restaurant shuttered, and only 11 people on the flight. We were told to be at the airport at 6:00 am, and they would get us out sometime that day. Normally it is a direct flight. We were on 3 flights, and it took 20 hours.
COVID19 is still scary. I started practicing during the HIV epidemic. Shit gets serious, quickly. >

M&M got free advertising from Tucker and they're thirsty for more! >

Tucker Carlson tonight: “M&Ms has caved to the radical left Wokeists and cancel culture by cancelling their beloved mascots!” >

“If you’re anything like me, you lie awake at night. Hoping - against hope - that the radical left won’t ruin anything for you today. So you open your Twitter feed, and go to the page of your favorite candy. The same way you always do when you’re not at work, hosting your TV show. Heck, it’s pretty much the ONLY thing you do. 
You try to find a new picture of the green M&M - the one with the supple lips, and those long boots you adore. She hasn’t posted in a few days, so you’re worried. Ready to call the police. After refreshing the page every 10 minutes for an hour and a half, what you find instead is another woke ‘miracle’. the M&Ms have now been canceled. And you’re left all alone, sobbing into your candy-themed body pillow, with nothing but 3 tera-bytes of steamy fan fiction to remind you of her.” >

I read this in the voice of Seth Meyers doing Tucker 😆 >

Definitely inspired by that. Seth’s Tucker is better than Tucker’s >

Headline is wrong. Press release says the mascots are on "indefinite pause."
This is a work. They're going to do some silly plotline with Rudolph that leads to the mascots being reintroduced. >

Likely at the Super Bowl. Welcome to the “Mr Peanut is dead” window of ads. We’ll discuss it for a day or two and forget it for a couple weeks then boom Super Bowl. >

I never even heard of that. >

Oh ya. It was a huge story for like 3 days and then we all forgot about it. Super Bowl announced a “rebirth” of Mr peanut. It was just their way of announcing a redesign of their mascot. 
If mentions and social buzz is what you’re aiming for, it works really well. Especially given the “controversy” around M&Ms lately, I see why they’re going this route. >

The what now? I can tell by these comments that I’m out of the loop on something lol. >

You asking about Mr. Peanut dying or the m&m “Controversy”? 
Mr Peanuts death was an ad campaign a few winters back that everyone got pissy about until it culminated with a Super Bowl ad and a new Mr peanut. 
The “controversy” is that Fox News and right wing nutters like Tucker Carlson got all pissed off because they made the green M&M look less feminine. They’re all pissed off because apparently a female M&M is supposed to clearly be a female m&m with no ambiguity. Either these people are so unhinged that they genuinely care about the genders of animated candies or it’s more manufactured outrage BS that makes zero sense unless you’re sexually attracted to the cartoon M&Ms. >

Lmao that’s hysterical, imagine sitting there and seeing an M&Ms ad and your first response is “Damn, Green M&M got me acting unwise” >

I mean, Green and Brown are both baddies I would gladly take home. Regardless of their footwear. Girls are thicc and delicious. >

M&Ms must have been reading my random-ass ChatGPT prompts >

What’s tucker gonna masturbate to now? >

Maya Rudolph? >

She seems too human for Tucker >

She seems too ~~human~~ female for Tucker >

She’s too far past the age of consent for Tucker* >

She’s alive, Tucker doesn’t touch stuff that’s living. >

He just fucks full cartons of cigarettes while watching old M&M’s commercials on VHS tapes and outdated Dr. Seuss books. >

ooh Mrs. Potatohead you're so dirty, but you would never say 'Happy Holidays', would you, Mrs. Potatohead >

“Are you ready for my trickle down economics, hrrmmm.” >

The M&M marketing team and connected agencies are making it clear that they are masters of PR.  Should be fun to watch how the media reacts to... clear marketing tactics while treating it like news.
Dont worry all, we will still get the same "he does exist", "they do exist" commercial we've seen forever during christmas.  Almost as important of an evergreen seasonal commercial as the Cadbury Cream Eggs bunny auditions during easter time. >

Oh, they are truly great at PR. Every single time news breaks or is about to break about the child labor lawsuit, they do another minor change to the M&Ms that ensures that the only thing people talk about are their corporate mascots instead of, well, children picking the cacao. 
I honestly can't even get that mad about it, that's raw skill. >

Agreed on all counts except the fact that I can stay very mad about it >

What rule 34 do to a mf >

The egregious obscenity I’ve seen involving the mascots performing balls deep maneuvers into bodies that were clearly not made in an M&M factory. 1.3/10, do not pass go. >

Well then…so, that’s a sentence I can’t un-read now… >

This feels like a marketing "stunt".  They'll pull the mascots for a bit, then bring them back due to "public demand" >

Remember when Mike & Ike broke up? Remember right and left Twix? >

Do you really eat the right Twix??? Everyone knows the left Twix is so much better.