>

GF and BF sound childish to me at my age.
You’re not running a business with this person

I propose we start referring to single people as "sole proprietorships". >

I use partner instead of girlfriend. Girlfriend feels so high-school and immature >

Womanacquaintance >

Fem-comrade >

Femrade! >

YES >

FemRad! >

femorroid )))) >

Well, If only same-sex relationship ppl use the term. Ppl will imidiately know they are in a same sex relationship. >

This is what I was going to say! It’s about normalizing the language to protect the people who don’t want to share their sexuality! >

And not making it a big deal what your sexuality is! >


Exception being if it’s a same-sex relationship and the person speaking doesn’t want to disclose that part of their life.

But then if it's only gay people using the label partner,  gay people would be indirectly disclosing that aspect of their life. This don't make sense because we would need a new word
I also like the word partner because boyfriend/ girlfriend sounds like in your school >

I use partner because it's nobody's business but mine if I'm gay or straight, married or dating. >

I know everything I need to know about you >

Dillman? >

r/UnexpectedB99 >

My boyfriend and I have lived together for about 5 years.  We are older and chose not to get married because it's just not important for us.  I am never quite sure how to refer to him.  Fiance sometimes.  Other times I call him my significant other or SO.  Sometimes I say husband just because it's easier in some situations. Partner is also appropriate. But I feel we are past the boyfriend and girlfriend stage. >

Question so like you ever think of getting married solely for finances >

I don't think it would really matter that much.  I am still working but he's retired. If we were younger and planned on having children I would definitely get married.  But I am well past that now and never wanted to have a child anyway. LOL. He has 2 grown up kids. Plus he gets some benefits that I don't he'd qualify for if he were married to me while I am still employed. >

Ah well fair enough, was only asking as for some people I know they did just because it benefited them in one way or another most because of job benefits the marriage part wasn’t all that important to them though >

Howdy partner! >


Exception being if it’s a same-sex relationship and the person speaking doesn’t want to disclose that part of their life.

That's exactly why people do it, though: to normalize it so that same-sex couples can actually benefit from it. If the only people using "partner" are same-sex couples, then it defeats the purpose. >

What if I don’t want people to know I’m straight? >

I use partner instead of girlfriend. Girlfriend feels so high-school and immature, and we are both in our mid 30s. I don't actually love the word partner either, but it feels better to use than girlfriend for me. >

Came here to say this. We aren’t engaged but we’ve been together a long time and passed the boyfriend/girlfriend a long time ago. I use the term partner more than anything else. >

If the only people who can say it, according to you, are people in same sex marriages trying to hide the fact their partner is the same sex... then everyone would know right away and that literally defeats the purpose >

Yep, this 100%. >

Sometimes I refer to my wife as my ex-girlfriend. She doesn't appreciate it very much.... >

Dating progression...
Hookup: no commitment
GF/BF:  monogamous commitment
Partner: financial commitment (shared bills, etc)
Spouse: legal commitment >

Nice, I would like to add some upgradations:
Hookup: Nothing just fun, no commitment
Gf/Bf: Initial dating phase, commitment
Partner: Serious, increased commitment
Significant Other: Almost similar to marriage except can be used before/after marriage
Fiance: Just before marriage 
Spouse: Legal commitment >

Comrade: transcendence from spouse; sexy revolutionaries >

My wife and I were together 8 years before we got married - we had a whole life build together and bf/gf seems very date-y, past a certain point you are essentially married but without having had the wedding and ‘partner’ usually indicates the seriousness of the relationship. You are a partnership. 
Plus it helps to de-stigmatize for the LGBTQ+ community >

How does it destigmatize LGBTQ+? >

By ‘partner’ being reserved only for the LGBTQ+ community it ‘outs’ them in any situation they mention their partner. Maybe they want to share about their life but for whatever reason they want to keep to themselves their sexuality, they can’t. 
If everyone uses ‘partner’ the language is normalized people don’t think twice about it. 
E.g i worked with a gay guy who who was fairly private about his home life until he felt very comfortable but would occasionally say ‘I went to X place at the weekend with my partner’ to which I didn’t think any more about - I found out he was gay a few months later when he was more comfortable at work >

I get were you are coming from......but....
I am almost 50. I  cannot get married to him yet. Boyfriend/girlfriend sounds stupid at my age. And he is my partner.  We share as much as we can,  and are there for each others >

There was once I time I used the government term posselque for my SO.  POOSSLQ stood for Person of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters. >

I'm 39 and my SO is 49. Boyfriend and girlfriend just doesn't sound right at our age. >

In the same boat.   Sometimes I just say “My Sweetie”. >

I use "our lass" or "my partner". Depends who I'm talking too at the time. >

It's not something that really bothers me, but I think it's a little silly to refer to grown adults as boys and girls. Especially at 40 or older. I guess partner works better than womanfriend. >

In the nordics, we have the word "kæreste" that is just "my partner." 
It's a genderless word. And even people who are straight and/or bisexual have the right to not want to disclose their sexuality to others. >

To clarify to people that didn't know: we don't even have words for boyfriend or girlfriend. Only "kæreste" exist. There's no word for a gendered partner >

I identify as non-binary and absolutely refuse to be called girlfriend because it sounds so immature and I do not identify as female. My SO identifies as male but prefers me to call him SO or partner because boyfriend sounds silly for someone in his 40's. >

At 35+, "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" seemed really teenagery. "Partner" wasn't right because we weren't sharing finances or a household. 
I landed on "the guy I'm dating." >

“My emergency contact” >

Idk I use partner but I live with my him, partner seems as though you’re more stable and serious in relationship compared to boyfriend/girlfriend 🤷‍♀️ >

Most people I know who do this, do it as a way to make clear that they are "life partners" but are not married. It's almost always people who have been previously married and divorced and refuse to get married again. >

r/notunpopularjustdumb >

I use partner because even though we are not married, we have been together too long to refer to each other as girlfriend/boyfriend >

I absolutely hate the term "hubby" for husband. >

If everyone stops using “partner” except people not wanting to disclose their same-sex relationship, they’ll be disclosing it when they use the word. 
It’s not that your opinion is unpopular, it’s that your exception kinda fails logically. >

My boyfriend told me this one time... that he knows when people are gay because they will call their SO their partner. After that, i started referring to him as my partner 🤣 >

But also good on them for making it harder for homophobes to sniff out those in a same-sex relationship.
It's none of your business, and it does not need to matter to you <3 >

Depending on the language „girlfriend“ means a normal friend that is a women/girl. Like a gender specified term for a friend. 
It’s not exclusive for a romantic relationship only.
And if I’m talking about my SO I wanna make it clear they’re not just a friend, but my partner. So I say partner and not friend. >

yeah, but only women do that. men aren't out here calling our bros "boyfriend." And to be honest, we've always thought it was weird that women do that, we just don't care enough to say anything about it. >

Perhaps some people want to normalize the term partner so that no exception is needed for same sex partners. IE if everyone uses “partner” it’s no longer code for same sex… >

Why can't same sex couples use boyfriend and girlfriend? Or husband or wife? Seems a bit discrimatory that just because they are gay they have to use neutral terms to describe someone. >

OP said the exception to their rule is same sex couples. I am saying if everyone uses partner/bc/gf interchangeably no one has to choose. Sort of like pronouns, we can accept “they” instead of he/she but not “partner” instead of bf/gf? >

I’m planning on proposing this year, so calling her my girlfriend sounds less serious. Plus normalizing the word “partner” helps create a more neutral tone when discussing partners for gay/bi/etc. folks in relationships 
It’s literally just a word >

They are your current partner in life...
It is more meaningful than most labels for couples.
How is boyfriend or girlfriend better? Most will say they don't want to be friends with the sexual partner, yet may also say they're best friends...
It is still further from the situation than partner because friends might see you once a week if you're close, you dislike being away from your life partner just during the day at work... it's not the same thing. >

You know that part of your argument falls apart right off the bat right? If people who aren’t straight use “partner” to hide that, but everyone who is straight uses boyfriend/girlfriend, then that pretty much defeats the purpose. 
Second, if you’re not in the relationship, your opinion doesn’t matter. They can call themselves rompadoos if they want. >

My wife and I have been married for half a year and together for over five years total.  We both had previous marriages that often felt one-sided, where we were each the only person putting forth any effort, whether it was in romance, around the house, or any other way.  We call each other husband and wife, of course, but we also make sure to let each other know how much we appreciate a relationship that actually feels like an equal partnership. And that's the key, I think. >

People in m/f relationships use the term "partner" to normalise it for people in same sex relationships.
Think about it - if only queer people refer to their partners as "partner" its just as outing as referring to them as boyfriend/girlfriend. The point becomes useless. 
The reason queer people use "partner" is to avoid potentially violent responses - if the word "partner" becomes synonymous with "same sex relationship" it no longer does its job. >

Ive been with my -now fiancé- for almost ten years, and just before he proposed I was sick of calling him -boyfriend-, I mean I was way over that term, we met at 16 Im now 26 and I just, ugh boyfriend was a ok term when we were still babies in the relationship, thats why I called him my man, my partner >

Ngl, i hang out in lgbtq Spaces and i just got used to saying partner cuz we all say it, like it’s equal in terms of when I use husband so both ways work for me :) >

Sometimes I ask others if they have a partner rather than are you dating or do you have a bf, gf, etc. Just a good way to ask without assuming sexuality or the level of commitment. But I always refer to my wife as my wife >

It's true that the word "partner" can sound formal and vague when used to refer to a romantic relationship, and it's not a term that is universally accepted. Some people may use the word "partner" because it can be more inclusive and non-binary, but it's a personal choice.
It's also important to note that people use different terms to refer to their romantic relationships, and it's not always appropriate to judge or criticize someone's choice of words. Everyone has their own way of expressing themselves and it's important to respect that.
Ultimately, the most important thing is that the two people in the relationship are on the same page and are comfortable with the terms they use to describe their relationship. >


Exception being if it’s a same-sex relationship and the person speaking doesn’t want to disclose that part of their life.

Fuck that. If  you live that life then own it. Its 2023 dont shy a big part of yourself and those around you to make others feel good.
(Bi man here) >

Completely agree >

I’m gay.  And every time a straight refers to their SO as their partner I feel a little betrayed when I find out they’re not gay. >

Saying partner is cool. Am I gay, straight, or am I operating a small local business? Keep 'em guessing. >

You can have my upvote, because this is a shit take. I call my partner my partner because calling someone I have been with for over a decade my 'girlfriend' is wildly reductive. >

Well that would mean if anyone did use partner they would get called out for being gay when they are trying to hide it. >

I call my boyfriend my partner because I am in my 30s and not in highschool. It just feels like a very juvenile term, girlfriend/boyfriend. >

I have done this on the Internet not wanting to reveal my gender. >

Yeah, I tend to agree. I kind of automatically assume someone is in a same sex relationship if they say “partner” until it is otherwise clarified. Of course, I’m not sure what they could replace it with if they are serious but not married and want something stronger than girlfriend or boyfriend. Significant other also sounds formal and weird. If they live together and are committed, they could probably just use husband/wife without the legal papers behind it. At that point they are basically married domestically anyway. >

Cishet and I regularly use SO or partner. We've been living together for 4 years now. I don't think gf/bf captures that 
No intention to marry, for various reasons. >

I only used this term in job interviews, because it's formal as fuck. >

I also don't like "partner", my grandpa gets called "my squeeze" by his girlfriend, I like that. >

I too hate the word partner. Idk why. Just feels clinical. >

Why are we constantly trying to police the words people use >

because anything out of the societal norm makes closed minded people nervous >

I feel like I'm in high school calling someone my boyfriend >

For me boyfriend/girlfriend is too vague.  A person you went on two dates with and expect to go on more with is your girlfriend.  So is one you've been dating for 20 years.  Those don't feel the same to me.  Once it gets serious I don't refer to them as a girlfriend any longer, instead as a partner, because they are my partner in life not just someone I'm dating. >

When you are over a certain age, "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" sounds silly. >

If you are in your mid 30’s it sounds like you just started an informal relationship if you say “girlfriend”, especially if she is a woman the same age as you are. >

If you are not married,  it is an informal relationship.  Once you are married, it becomes formal. >

According to whom?
In my country I have legal obligations and rights for “cohabitation”, so whatever way you look it it, it is “official”.
Not to mention I have a child with the woman and have been with her more than a decade. >

I always find it strange that people will have a child with someone without being married.  A marriage can end with divorce, and it is over. Having a child binds you together for life. >

What's strange about that? Many people feel like involving the government in personal relationships is strange. But others think it's fine, because they want the legal rights it confers (tax benefits, in some countries grants, divorce protections, etc). There's nothing strange with an individual deciding how they want to live their life. >

I use “partner” to better explain the gravity of our relationship. We’re not just casually dating, we live together and (hopefully) will be spending the rest of our lives together. >

Girlfriend and boyfriend always sounded childish to me. My partner isn't a "friend" of a specific gender. >

Disagree. Saying "partner" sounds more legitimate as a 30-something than saying "girlfriend" or "boyfriend". Girlfriend/boyfriend can sound infantilising in a professional environment, an issue not found with the word partner. >

Boyfriend/ girlfriend sounds too juvenile for a serious relationship. >

This is only because, I presume, you're American. This is the standard in most other countries. There's no baggage associated with it. It certainly sounds a lot less stupid than calling my 50 year old female partner a girl. >

My partner likes non-binary labels, so they get non-binary label. It's not that deep. >

Its an invitation for people to mind their business. Saying you have a gf/bf invites 20 questions from the peanut gallery. I say gf myself, but I get it. >

Girlfriend feels like someone you’re dating
Partner feels like someone you want to commit to for life but you haven’t reached the proposal or marriage stage >


Partner feels like someone you want to commit to for life but you haven’t reached the proposal or marriage stage

Or a serious committed relationship where those involved do not plan for a legal marriage. >

This one doesn’t make much sense >

My husband is my partner because we're in this marriage together. >

As someone who occasionally uses they/them pronouns, i like partner way better. >

My grandad is dating a woman. There are both in their 70’s, they’ve been together for three years. He’s an old man no one’s boyfriend and she’s got great grandchildren, she’s no girlfriend either. They are partners. >

Or the partner is non binary? Or they think gf or bf sounds silly and childish? 
Why tf do you take such offense to someone’s word choice about something that absolutely doesn’t matter to you? >

language changes and evolves dude. Is ‘partner’ the end all be all best term? maybe not. But ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ is also dumb as hell. I say both pretty interchangeably. Whatever.
also partner tbf is more literally descriptive and accurate. >

thank you for posting this...I see it everywhere on reddit and I can just imagine the cringey nerds using it >

They are trying to make it all the same. Like inclusive language. I still refer to my wife, I think it’s dumb to say “partner” >

Upvoted because this is stupid and should be unpopular. >

After a certain age, boyfriend/girlfriend sounds odd, to me at least. Partner sounds more grown up. If you and your “boyfriend” are 45, that has a weird ring to it. >

I’m with OP. It’s just PC bullshit. >

my partner and I use it because we both use multiple pronouns and its more affirming for us but i agree it does sound very formal! >

I use it for my spouse of more than 20 years. I don't want to disclose that part of my life either. >

Partner sounds better as it implies dedicated mutual support in a way boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't. >

What ungendered version of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" would you allow then? >

Yeah it sounds kinda weird to me as well. Whenever I hear it I subconsciously assume they're gay, or if I know they're not I wonder if they have some kind of immature "it's complicated" arrangement where they're afraid to commit to boyfriend/girlfriend. >


I wonder if they have some kind of immature "it's complicated" arrangement where they're afraid to commit to boyfriend/girlfriend.

It's the exact opposite of that. It's used to describe someone where there is a higher level of commitment than just a boyfriend or girlfriend because they are your partner in life. It's not a fear to commit to boyfriend or girlfriend. >

I'm 31(f) have been with my boyfriend for 9 years now. I hate to say boyfriend but I also don't like to say partner because someone might assume I'm in a same sex partnership (which is fine I have no issue with that before anyone comes at me) if it's someone I don't really no or aren't going to see again I just say husband. I feel like boyfriend or girlfriend seems like a younger person thing to say >

The people who say "partner" like that do it precisely because they or the person they're dating don't like to gender the relationship. I agree with you 100% it's stupid, but I know even married people who don't like saying husband or wife. >

If only queer folks say “partner,” it pretty much puts the queer person. Straight folks saying it too helps provide cover. 
Also, not everyone is a boy or a girl. Non-binary folks exist and they’re nobody’s boyfriend or girlfriend. “Partner” is a more inclusive term. >

I'll do as I please >

Maybe they just have a snake in their boot >

Yo, i do t know if you know this, but if this was common, saying partner wpuld be disclosing the homosexual partership. Caise you would have said girl/boyfriend if you werent gay. Also nonbinary people exist. >

I usually assume people are talking about a same sex relationship if they say “partner”. I guess I really meant if they don’t want to draw attention to it by saying ‘boyfriend’ if they’re a male. >

Some people use this when they want to refer to someone that is not their spouse/fiancée, but neither their "boy/girlfriend" as they would interpret this as in the same category of a school/college relationship >

I use the term partner because I'm seven million years old and "boyfriend" sounds ridiculous. >

So fuckin dumb. >

I use partner coz I want to disclose whether I'm married or not since some people are really judgemental. >

I say partner so that when people in a same sex relationship use it, it’s just normalized. Otherwise, it would be another word stigmatized towards the LGBTQ+ community. I’m an ally. >

I think this is the most common reason straight people say it. Good intentions no doubt, but IMO not necessary. I don’t think there was any stigma to the word before straight people started adopting it too. In the western world these days virtually everyone has no issue with LGBT people who just wanna live their lives. >

I am in my 30's and I can't call a man my boyfriend. It sounds so juvenile. So does being called girlfriend when I am clearly not a girl anymore. >

I feel like it’s appropriation of gay culture which is why I don’t do it. But I’m sure many gay people are fine with it so to each their own. >

I refer to my partner as my partner when I don't want to reveal their sex. Like online. 
Why is it relevant if it's a same sex relationship or not? >

it’s short for life partner. what is so trivial about that? >

To me, saying boyfriend or girlfriend sounds like you’re a teenager in high school. I’m not married so can’t say husband, so I use partner.
I’m also bi and I don’t like that people default to seeing me as a straight person when I say boyfriend. I like keeping that ambiguity. >

Sometimes variation is helpful, and some partners, not just gender diverse ones, use she/they or he/they pronouns. It is more inclusive and less of a lengthy word. >

I like that people can't immediately tell what gender my partner is. People like you tend to assume they're same sex and it's very amusing to see the confusion when they realise I'm heterosexual after all. With more people identifying outside the binary genders you're going to hear this more, and I also think it's nice that referring to your partner doesn't immediately out someone as LGBTQ+ if heterosexual people are doing it too. Plus, past high school, girlfriend/boyfriend sounds juvenile and a bit creepy, and manfriend/ladyfriend old-fashioned and very creepy. >

Significant other is my preferred gender neutral term when I’m talking about people in a relationship but it’s long and definitely no less formal than partner so basically this is a good unpopular opinion. It’s not super disagreeable or objectively wrong. It’s just something most people happen to disagree with >

Before I married my wife she hated to be called my girlfriend so I always introduced her as "my sweet pea" >

Lover sounds stupid, I’m not a teenager, and I’m not married, so partner it is. Doesn’t matter the gender. I think people nowadays call their business partner their business partner. Only gay people calling people they’re seeing negates the option of staying closeted >


Exception being if it’s a same-sex relationship and the person speaking doesn’t want to disclose that part of their life.

Okay but that only works if opposite sex couples also use the term. If it's only acceptable to say "partner" when you're trying to stay in the closet, then using it immediately outs you. >

Eh, my partner is someone I share risks, responsibilities, and expenses of our family unit, I want to be able to rely on them, I want them to be able to rely on me. We're exactly "running the business".
It's not just about someone you're willing to stick your stick into. >

“Partner” is useful for not disclosing whether your married, engaged, or just dating. It’s useful for people who have non-binary partners, and for people that are in a same-sex relationship. If your older boyfriend/girlfriend might sound kind of elementary as well. >

Because not everyone wants to get married and bf or gf sounds like it's not a serious long term relationship but rather a new relationship. >

At a certain point, it just sounds weird to refer to your significant other as those terms. >

If someone uses partner, I am going to assume it is a same sex relationship or a business relationship, depending on context. >

Partner means you value them as a person and they contribute to each others lives. Girlfriend sounds childish, like its not even serious. >

Is this unpopular? >

it better be cause it's a silly opinion >

I'm with you. Unless they're non binary and your just dating don't say partner. We already have gender neutral fiance and spouse. >

Fiance' and Spouse do not encompass every serious committed lifelong relationship. >

I hear people say partner, co-parent and other things and it’s just beyond annoying lol. Say whatever you want, you’re not hurting anyone obviously but you are annoying and just tryna be extra just to be extra. >

What do you propose I call my son’s father? We coparent together. That makes him the coparent. >

I’m not proposing anything. I’m just sharing the opinion that I find it annoying. I don’t care if people say it, I’m not going to judge someone’s character off it…I just find it annoying for whatever reason, nails on a chalkboard if you will. Nothing good or bad, just annoys. >

I work in health care. At times personal disclosure is relevant for the sake of building rapport and trust. I refer to my significant other as partner to avoid disclosing too much. My clients don’t need to know if I’m married, sexual orientation, etc. It helps maintain boundaries while also being personable. >

Whatever happened to using the word "babe"? You'd think Sonny Bono had never been born! >

It always remembers me of a middle aged swinger couple from Belgium. >

It depends. People in relationships aren't always just "dating." Before getting married, when I was living with my wife and we were a blended family raising our 4 children together, she was not just my girlfriend...she was my life partner, even though we were not engaged or married she was not just my girlfriend. >

Partner sounds part time but wife is for life >

"exception being if it's a same-sex relationship"
honestly, I think that's why we should normalize stright couples using the word partner, because if gay couples use it to "hide" the fact they have a same-sex partner, but they're the only ones who use that word, then the assumption towards anyone who uses it is they're gay.. also it's the only truly neutral term in english for when someone's in a relationship: spouse is used for people who are married and SO is less formal/more of a date-y term, so if someone wants to keep gender and relationship status of their partner anonymous, then "partner" is the better word for them >

I typically prefer to sound more formal in person because not doing so just makes me sound like an idiot imo (online is an exception because I picture everyone online including me as an idiot), that would most likely include talking about my significant other. >

I just  say "my lover" because it makes people uncomfortable, which makes me sorta happy >

He's honey and I'm punch, in reality, I do think that partner is a bit vague though, I'd prefer nicknames anyday. Girlfriend and boyfriend are just generic, And I am generally extra, i love to make noise with my words. >

Reminds me of when I was extremely hungover and I was called by a leasing agent after applying for An apartment after college with my roommate. The haze was so powerful my speech was halting, and the only way I could think to describe our apartment hunt was “my parter and I… are… engaged…. “ and she just jumped right in like “great well then we’d love to show you some places” lmaooo. >

My girlfriend and I call eachother that because we've been together for 12 years, and are about to move as she's about to finish med school so we haven't tied the knot yet, and partners seems more official and a better representation of what our relationship is than saying boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe we're weird but it makes sense to us >

I (32m) am in a domestic partnership. What should I call her? 
Girlfriend is childish and inaccurate
Pre-oyancé is a fun made up word
Fiance is actually true, but it's relatively new so I forget to call her that
We are running a business together so she's my business partner, domestic partner, and romantic partner... But that's so many words! 
Help!!! >

False. I call my partner “partner” so when I get home from work I can say “Howdy partner”.
The terms boyfriend and girlfriend are the dumb terms. This isn’t a boy or a girl who is just my friend. This is my lover and life partner. >

Idk, I just feel as I reach my 30’s… saying the word “girlfriend” sounds childish when refereeing to my actual girlfriend. I just prefer the word partner >

Moving up to the marriage level. Spouse (the marriage equivalent) sounds better than husband/wife. >

I use partner regardless of the gender I am dating. If only people in same sex relationships use it, then they would automatically be outed if they said partner. Also, my partner IS my partner. We hold each other up, we help each other so things. Plus, even at 42, boyfriend/girlfriend sounds weird. If counter and say everyone should call their SOs their partners. >

Boyfriend/girlfriend sounds juvenile >

Who cares????? People do what works for them just like you do and say what works for you. >

I'm bisexual and I don't like when people assume my sexuality based on my partner's gender. >

This keeps coming up, and it’s stupid. I use “partner” because I’m never getting married. My partner and I agree on that, but are also committed to being with each other indefinitely. So in my 50s and 60s, am I supposed to still call her my girlfriend? After we’ve been together for multiple decades? Fuck that. I’m going to keep using partner, get used to it. >

“Partner” denotes a level of commitment above boyfriend/girlfriend that is not a legal marriage. That’s a necessary term when marriage is not a legal option for everyone, like in the US. 
Until disabled people can get married without risking access to disability benefits, we don’t have marriage equality for all people. And as long as we don’t have marriage equality, we need a term that fills the gap between dating and married. So I’ll keep using partner. >

How about "Non-contractually bonded co-conspirator"  ? >

Even this sounds better >

Bull shit. I call my girlfriend my partner because we’re not children. We’re in an adult relationship and I feel like “boyfriend/girlfriend” is how you describe a school yard relationship. First kiss that kind of thing, not an adult relationship. >

I agree I’ve thought this for a long time it just causes unnecessary confusion when you could just say husband or wife >

I usually use the acronym "SO" which often confuses people, in which cases i just go ahead and say "i mean my girlfriend" >

Think it through:
If the purpose of using "partner" in a same-sex relationship is to hide that part of their life, but the only people who are allowed to use the word are people in a same-sex relationship...
See what happens there? >

I don't want to use 'girlfriend' when I'm talking about anybody in their 60's (I'm 66) >

I say partner because boyfriend and baby daddy seem less respectable for a 40 yr old person.  Plus I like the look on some people's faces when they think "I'm a gay" >



Formal and vague is sometimes the intention.


I like partner because it's more descriptive of my relationship. We work together to grow. We support each other. We provide criticism. We trade off responsibilities.


I understand why you think partner = business, but my first thought is your project partner on a 1st grade art project. You, of course, try to pick someone you look up to, respect, revere, appreciate the humor of, appreciate the company of. You also will have complications and issues that you have to overcome together. There are parts you do better, parts they do better, and parts you both enjoy doing together. Okay, okay, so first grade partners aren't going to have any sexual relationship, but even is sex, all the above applies: taking turns, listening to the other person, allowing your parter to do something for you instead of you doing the whole thing yourself, choosing someone who smells good and is funny. >

I’m 100% with you on this. “Partner” has this weird, sterile, inhumane ring to it that’s really off-putting. People somehow think they’re being “inclusive” when they use weird language like this when in reality, most normal people on the street are like “wtf are you talking about” >

If gay people are the only person using “partner”, then by using partner, then by saying partner you are effectively disclosing that you’re in a gay relationship. The exact reason you say they’re trying to avoid happening. >

The older I get.. I don't feel like I have a boyfriend.He is my partner. I dont believe in marriage, so no wedding or calling him husband. He is my life partner. >

Ok, boomer >

well, at least it’s unpopular. >

Girlfriend or boyfriend is too high school, if you're older than 30, partner has in the past usually signified same sex..people over a certain age (over 50) sound more mature if they say "my lady friend" or my gentleman friend(or just "my friend". My current husband was introduced as  "my friend" until we became engaged. I was 43 at the time, I wasn't going to use "boyfriend" >

I feel that once cohabitation begins, "partner" becomes the term used. You still remain boyfriend/girlfriend, but unless you're engaged, calling them your "live in boyfriend" seems extra.... Right? I feel with today's lifestyles a lot of ppl live with their SO before engagement, but we don't have a proper name for that. >

I think so too... are y'all cops and this is your partner? Or Cowboys, partner? >

I actually agree with this opinion >

Counterpoint: 'Boyfriend' and 'Girlfriend' sound very high-school-esque. Partner sounds more adult and realistic. >

But, who cares? My partner is a man, not a boy. We are not engaged, we are living together, what exactly would you call that? Outside of highschool. >

Nonbinary people exist >

Sure >

So? you don't have to use partner, people just do it because it's fine and neutral. they're a romantic partner. >

It’s gender neutral you dunce >

If the only people that use the word “partner” are people in same-sex relationships, then saying it will be the same functionally as “disclosing that part of their life”. >

I think it depends on age of person and how long they’ve been together. My grandma, who was divorced, was with a man for over 25 years, until she died. I always felt like boyfriend wasn’t the right term, this was before straight people used the term partner, which i think works a lot better. On the other hand if you’re 16 and you’ve been dating someone for 4 months i don’t think that warrants the term “partner” >

I worked with a guy who would always say “my life partner” or “partner”. I thought he was gay until I met his wife at the Xmas party.
Then again, she had short hair and didn’t smile once the whole night (so maybe it was more of a partnership than marriage? 🤔) >

Someone once said if anyone used partner then it would help the people who want to keep stuff private, private. Because of only LGBTQ ect used it then you would know it's a same sex couple. If anyone uses it, then you don't know.
I use it and think it's funny when people are all "wait you have a BF... I thought you were lesbian" well good job outing yourself for judging people. >

I don't care either way if you wanna say "partner" or "girl/boyfriend" but lol at everyone saying the terms boyfriend and girlfriend are juvenile. Colloquial language exists. Why take everything so literally? 
Boy band, girl band, girls night, boys night, girl time, girl boss, girls trip, boys trip, golden boy, etc etc.
Sometimes we just use "girl" and "boy" because they easily combine with other words and phrases. >

Or, you know, it normalizes not disclosing someone’s gender, which means that calling someone your partner doesn’t automatically put you. It also allows for people to talk about their gender-fluid or non-binary partners. But you’re right, it’s just stupid. >

It's not stupid. Partner is the best name for relationship that is more than being boyfriend/girlfriend (also, it sounds more mature, at least in my native language) and not a marriage. >

My partner and I luterally have a piece of paper feom the county clerk that says we're domestic partners. >

You realize that hetero people using the term actually allows gay folk who use it to be ambiguous about their relationship to be ambiguous, right? If only gay folk used the phrase it would be super obvious. >

People use it to make things ambiguous so you don't need to know things about their private life. A lot of the times it's used to be inclusive to LGBT people so they don't have to out themselves to people who could hate them for just existing when they want to talk about their home life. >

I use the word partner to describe my fiancé , fiancé sounds cheesy >

So, call them "lover" instead i guess? >

My mother always gets upset when I refer to my wife as “my wife” in conversation, she’d rather I use the word “partner” and I have no idea why. Possibly because I’m a transgender man and she’s still slightly uncomfortable with the idea that I’m with a woman? But we’ve been together 5 years and have 3 children together so it’s a little late for that either way >

Partner is good because it gives very little information (doesn’t disclose marital status, gender, etc) and some people really benefit from that >

I prefer using the word "partner" because "girlfriend" sounds like referring to your female friends and "boyfriend" sounds like your male friends. You can have friends of the opposite sex without dating them or having a sexual relationship with them. "Partner" is a more romantic and gender neutral word like the Norwegian word "kjæreste".
I've both girlfriends and boyfriends, and I'm single. :) >

I just call them my hot pocket. >

I like partner cause it implies you both bring 50/50 to the table >

My dad says that and I'm fine with it. It's always been weird to me if he called her his girlfriend because he is old and that's not an old person word. >

“This is my non-platonic roommate” >

Just say spouse >

Fuckbuddy with benefits >

I like to imagine them as cowboys >

we (me and me) agree >

Lol. True >

I call her my sweet buttery love >

What about legal domestic partners? >

this is the person who i reside with, pay bills with, have intercourse with, and like to hang out with a lot.
this is my partner.
second one is a lot easier. >

I hate when my girlfriend calls me her partner because it sounds weird and formal, but I also hate the terms "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" because it sounds like I'm in middle school when I say it. >

It is a business.
In my pants. >

Ehh idk my mom and her partner actually do run a biz together :P >

Yes I hate that term sound non-affectionate >

If only gay people use the term “partner” to remain private, then it isn’t really private >

How do you feel about spouses using the term partner? Since they are actual partners in life is that okay? >

I guess I see your point, but if only those in same sex relationships referred to their SO as “partners” then it would be immediately disclosing that they aren’t straight. So your post totally contradicts itself. >

I disagree but have to upvote because it seems like an actual unpopular opinion >

Some people don’t identify as a man or a woman. Partner is gender neutral >

Ok so I’m probably gonna get flamed but gonna ask anyway. 
So if you’re a gay male for example and you mention your partner is “stereotypical male name,” isn’t this just outing yourself anyway? If you don’t want to out yourself, aren’t you saying, “I’m single?” 
That’s why I don’t get why this is a thing. Essentially straight people are trying to make gay people more welcome and basically I’m just gonna assume straight people are gay when they use partner instead of wife, husband, etc. >

I’m gay and also hate the term. It doesn’t sound endearing at all to me. I get boyfriend/girlfriend night sound juvenile and significant other is a lot of syllables for something so simple so there aren’t really any good alternatives, but partner just sounds so distant to me. We need a better word for it lol >

My partner and I are in our 30s, we work together in a professional environment, but we are not engaged or married. Telling colleagues we are "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" sounds very childish. "Partner" doesn't quite feel right, and it is also ambiguous if we mean business partner or romantic partner. 
Tldr: we need a new word. >

Haha did this before we got engaged. We did it because we felt we were much more connected than simply boyfriend/girlfriend. >

I find it more stupid to use the word 'MY', 'MINE', when referring to someone one has sex with or lives with or decides to be close to or get into a 'contract' with as if it's your property. The self obsessed human. And the 'society' that is created.
I want nobody to be 'MINE'. they are volunteers for time sharing with my mind and body. They are not 'mine'.  "My Partner'. 'My boyfriend'. only thing yours is YOU. >

If the only people who did this were people who didn’t want others to know they were gay, everyone would know they’re gay. >

Partner sounds so soulless and bland. It's like referring to your sister or your father as a roommate >

A relationship is about PARTNERSHIP! By saying my partner it’s normalizing that there isn’t a man of the house. Also, not everyone is choosing to get married, but are choosing to live with each other…and are more serious than just BF and GF, GF and GF, BF and BF…ect. >

I think it's stupid getting annoyed by this >

I call my husband my partner and we are running businesses together.. soo… >

If I don’t know if the person is married I say partner