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Everyone processes emotions differently. So you can assume how someone will act when they are angry Vs disappointed.
That’s true if I get angry at you it’ll pass, but me being disappointed in someone implies that, somewhere, I lost respect for them because their actions were unbecoming or something that I didn’t expect from them which, in turn, changes the way I view them. >

I’m dealing with this exact scenario regarding a friend right now and oh boy, it’s a tough one to sort out in my mind. >

Honestly, I’ve asked myself the same question and decided long ago, given no other choice, I’d rather my loved ones hate me and ignore me than dwell on trying to help of change me particularly given the personal nature of many things which always provoke concern from family and friends.
It’s rooted in cyclical depression.
This is an isolationist attitude. It’s healthier to work through things with family and accept their disappointment because we thrive as part of a community of loving, caring individuals.
Sure, sometimes we have to find another community due to polarizing disagreements but the disappointment is healthier in the infinite game… and life is an infinite game.
Best of luck and compassion in whatever you’re going through, OP.