>
If they have gained significant amount of weight you have to ask why. Maybe they are going through a depression? If they aren’t willing to try getting healthier than no I don’t think you should be shamed for not being physically attracted to them anymore. 
BUT if your significant other had a traumatic accident or disease and they CANT help it or they naturally aged and you leave them I feel like yeah you deserve the shame. LOVE goes beyond the physical appearance of someone. If you could just easily leave a person over their physical body and be ok living without them for the rest of your life then you never truly loved them to begin with. 
“Should the other person really be tied for life to look after someone” just don’t get married if that’s how you feel. “IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH”. Swear the human race never ceases to disgust me. >

Oh don't worry, I don't really believe in marriage. And my partner will be aware of this, that this should last what it should last, and if this is a deal-breaker to them, they are perfectly free to step aside, I won't complain. I was just curious for others' input on this.
I understand people process love in different ways. For me beauty is concrete and abstract. And if I fall in love with someone it is because I appreciate every aspect of them, not excluding physique. And sure, the chance that their personality is so great that it could totally eclipse my desire to fulfill physical desires is always gonna be there. But if that chance doesn't happen for a particular person, I don't feel it is fair to judge me for it. But then again I should be transparent of what I believe and what I am looking for. >

Will definitely judge you on something so shallow. I am attracted to the whole person for who they are. Not just cause they look hot. If you’re an a-hole and attractive then I won’t even give a sideways glance. When my husband is being supportive, kind, a good father, loving etc I’m way more attracted to him. Good luck with finding a woman who is fine with you just leaving them cause they didn’t age how you wanted them too. Waste of space tbh >

It depends of what you believe love is. I think it's supplementary rather than necessary. It's more important to love yourself first, instead of searching someone to "complete you". Because that would put a burden and dependency on the other person. If you love yourself, you are never really lonely as much as you are just alone, and you are fine with that. And finding someone else is a nice bonus, most definitely, but not necessary. >

I never said it was necessary to love someone or be loved by anyone. Love isn’t something that you can just turn off because your partner got into a car accident messing their face up or got cancer and their hair fell out. Your attraction goes beyond the physical body. If you think love is just something you can just discard of when it’s no longer convenient for you then you’re just wrong and sad. >

You said it yourself. Love isn't something you can just turn off, just as it isn't something you can just turn on as soon as it slowly starts to turn off. See my point now? Never did I imply making an actual effort to stop loving someone. You can't control love, neither to turn it on or off. >

But if the only reason the love is “turning off” is bc they aged, got a disease or procedure than you should be shamed because you are just a shallow human being. Idk what’s hard about that. >

Its not really something that I could control though. You can't (nor I think one should ever) train love. You love what you love, and who is anyone to blame it for shutting off. If this happens to you, you will very likely still think the person you are leaving has a fantastic personality, and it is truly a shame this is happening to you. Being shallow is not giving that aspect any importance, rather than not giving it enough to stay. Because if you stay despite not truly wanting to, you are punishing yourself over what should be a positive relationship, and it is quite possible you will turn it sour and toxic in no time. >

It might happen to you, you know. And shallow would be the last word to cross your mind. I guess we must all await for our test. >

If your love can’t extend beyond beyond the physical eye, that’s on you >

Case by case. 
Marriage means “til death we part.”
News flash… she’s not gonna look like she did at 28 when she’s 58 or 88. You gotta be realistic. >

In sickness and in health >

If that’s your reason, so be it. If it’s a dealbreaker for someone, that’s not their fault ya know >

…. You’re saying it shouldn’t be frowned upon to leave your sick spouse if they don’t look hot anymore…. 
This is why nurses have to warn women when they get big diagnosis’s that their husbands might leave them. Cause all they care about is looks and not actually loving the person for who they are. 
You’re probably ok with leaving someone because they gained weight during pregnancy and childbirth. This opinion is beyond shallow and disgusting. >


This is why nurses have to warn women when they get big diagnosis’s that their husbands might leave them.

Why make this a men to women thing? Women have broke relationships for the same reasons too. >

Because statistically speaking women don’t leave their sick partners nearly as much as men do. Yes women leave for shallow reasons but they don’t routinely abandon their partner with life threatening illness. And they don’t get on Reddit afterwards trying to justify leaving a sick partner over looks >

Agree with you to an extent, either way I think this is a very interesting discussion so Id enjoy talking about it. 
I think people who say physical appearance doesn’t matter in a relationship are kinda lying to themselves. I hear superficial shit from both men and women all the time its only natural. Attraction is also super important in a relationship because without it you’ll never get the same passion. 
That being said, there are some things that I would lump into the shitty ex boyfriend category if a dude left me for them. For example, if I got breast cancer one day and had to get a mastectomy. I think it would also swing another way if I left a guy I was dating because he lost his leg in a car accident or something.  Granted I wouldnt do that, just for the sake of example. Both of those things would be fucked up. 
I also think a partner leaving over slight weight gain would be kinda douchey. Like if you expect them to always look like a model its super unrealistic, but if they gained like 200 pounds yeah I could understand.
Edit: I see alot of ppl in the comments bringing up gender, Im a woman and I def have heard girls complaining about their bfs new haircut. BUT that being said men are statistically more likely to leave their sick partner so they also aren’t completely wrong >

Upvoted. It's an unpopular opinion especially today with all the progressive weirdos saying being morbidly obese is beautiful. Like yeah I get not shaming people, especially when it involves mental health issues, but people are attracted to what they're attracted to. >

Except the post comes with a bunch of other issues, as people have pointed out >

"We should stop shaming narcissism."
Imagine ending a long relationship for something as arbitrary as appearance. 
Cause that's what you're saying.   It doesn't matter if they're a good parent, a good fuck, a good friend, a good person. 
This isn't r/unpopularmentalillness. >

I hear men say this a lot, and it makes me sad because they won't know what love really is unless they can truly see past appearance. >

I use to date a 400 lbs women and she lost 100 lbs while I was dating her. I had to dump her caz she was getting wayyy too skinny >


False equivalency. Getting any closer to one's ideal weight undeniably makes anyone look healthier. And our brain, whether we want it or not, more often than not sees that as a gain in physical attraction. The same can't be said the further one gets from their ideal weight.
If you were to be an outlier case, where dating a 400 lbs women is your kind of rare preference, then it is (hilariously) possible that her losing 100 lbs might be a deal-breaker to you. And I wouldn't judge you for it.