>

I mean yeah that makes sense, but you can't deny the vicious cold competitiveness of today's dating culture.
Honestly I wish I was gay. That'd probably make things way easier, and obviously I get along better with guys than girls because well I'm a guy.
Don’t confuse being a jackass with confidence. Confidence is being able to order your own meal from McDonald’s. Asshole is being entitled with a lack of humbleness >

"Confidence is being able to order your own meal from McDonald’s" - no, almost everyone can do this, and as a rule of thumb if something applies to or explains all people/situations, then it means nothing. I'd say the term "assertive" is better ("having or showing a confident and forceful personality"). Here I can see how OP thinks people considered assertive are not attractive - because they are often full of BS. It also applies to a smaller % of people >

That’s not confidence. That’s being assertive. >


having or showing a confident and forceful personality

Yeah but the definition of assertive literally includes "confident" and amplifies this with "forceful". To elaborate, to have a person regarded as confident by others, their confidence needs to be more pronounced than the average. >

But you don’t need actual confidence to be assertive. >

Confidence is attractive because I don’t want to have to reassure you every 15 seconds. It also gets pretty tiring how they think you’re out of their league. Just leaves a bad taste in your mouth. >


It also gets pretty tiring how they think you’re out of their league.

To be fair they're just being honest with you. >

Honesty doesn’t make it any better. I can be honest about a lot of things but that doesn’t mean it’s better than not saying it in the first place.
Obviously if I’m dating you I find you attractive and in my “league” so why does it even need to be said. >

If you don't like you, most people are inclined to agree. Nobody wants to be friends with someone or date someone who it's a chore or an argument to like; it's miserable. Also, this extends quite a bit beyond looks, but that's a separate point. >

Even if you do like you, appearance is like 90% of what actually matters. Otherwise people wouldn't date Attractive jerks by the boatload.
Not an incel, I think women are great, but it's clear there's some delusions amongst the public about what matters in dating standards. >

I dunno man, I'm gay. I'm not my type, he's not his type, but we're each other's types. I guess my point is that having an attractive appearance is pretty variable in my experience; it's obviously important in romantic relationships, but what "it" is changes from person to person.