>

When's the last time anyone who can be trusted has actually seen him alive, live and in person?
Maybe he is already dead >

Andre Tate arrested and Putin being dead...that would be a happy ending of this miserable year >

Unfortunately we don't live in a world where @smalldickenergy would likely stay in jail for long sadly. Would be funny if he did though. >

Andrew is in jail in Romania. They don’t give a fuck over there. They just ordered him to be detained for a month while the investigation continues. >

No they didn’t lol he’s already out and they aren’t very extreme charges >


human trafficking
rape

Yeah man, he’s gonna be totally fine, these are just misdemeanors especially considering the international nature of the crimes! >

It's Romania. Come on. Just a little rapey-poo and hardcore hide and go seek.  They're totally cool with that over there. /s (I hate that I have to add the s) >

Well, Romania has to prove something to the rest of the EU. They have been wanting admission into the Schengen-Zone for a solid decade now and were always struck down citing problems such as being a hub for human trafficking in Europe.
They could choose Tate to make an example of. >

Oh hell yeah, now that you mention it. Jailing a far right, sexist, scam artist would be a brownie points for western liberal European nations. >

Hopefully this is an excuse to hide his rapidly deteriorating health. >

This plus the cancer meds story and the cancellation of the annual December summit with the media makes me think he is going through some tough cancer treatments and needs to wait until he's healthier before showing up in public. >

If it’s truly pancreatic cancer like it’s being reported, he may never get healthier. The median survival is 12 months after diagnosis, even with aggressive treatment. >

I'm sure there are some, but I've never heard of anyone surviving it. Either personally or famous. >

RIP Alex Trebek >

RIP Patrick Swayze >

RIP Alan Rickman >

? Paxton died from a heart problem. >

D'oh! You are correct. I totally misremembered that. Thank you. >

Translation: bunker will be deeper underground and the table in there will be longer. >

In Russia bunker must be twice as deep as table is long. >

In their greed they dug too deep >

Apparently, it's so deep, Putin claims Australia is really Russian and deserves a special military operation. >

Don't worry, the Emus will just win their second war, this time fighting with the Aussies and not against. >

Cry havoc and let slip the birds of war! >

Whatever farm animal of war, Lana! >

Please elaborate on the “concern for putin’s health” and give us some uplifting news. At least treat it like a hockey injury and give the world a teaser. >

His has succumbed  to his disease and will be played by a marionette going forward . >

Weekend at Vladdys >

Apparently he's afraid of either being assassinated by a journalist, or the frequency of him shitting himself is increasing. >

hes afraid of getting gaddaffi-ed >

Cover your rectum, vlad. >


Hes hiding like a coward and dont want to get out of his bunker
Hes most likely sick with something other than mental illness >


He’s dead >

I hope he is, for the world will have a bit more optimism. >

So either his health or paranoia is getting worse, possibly both. >

The last time he did this covid spikes were happening. And they say he really fears getting sick from it. Either that or he is getting sicker, and they can't show his face for a bit. >

He is dead or dying. That’s why the top two guys in his government have been saying crazy shit for almost 2 weeks now. Lavrov has Putin’s ideology but even more dumb and evil. Medvedev is, despite being a former PM and Pres and in government for 20+ years is still sort of unknown as he has been nothing but a Putin Avatar the entire time. >

Some serious “Death of Stalin” chicanery going on behind closed windows rn >

It's a sequel we're all waiting for. >

One that we can't wait for >

'Concern for his health' haha finally let this fucker die. Even if there is no hell to put him in, let him disappear. Die >

My thoughts are either that Putin needs a medical procedure that will necessitate substantial recovery time, or he’s about to escalate his war and wants to try to hide his location from NATO (or even simply the drones Ukraine has deployed inside Russia). >

Every time people talk about escalation or insinuating nukes I gotta remind them that based on Ukraine current anti Air setup they would be forced to fire a big number of nukes for 1 to hit. The reaction from NATO would be instantaneous and end Russia. China might even go on offense as well to make sure there is a buffer between them and European/NATO. >

If Russia did start a global conflict through nukes, I’d be very surprised to not see China get involved and at least capture the Russian far East (if not make a push for the Urals and setting up a puppet/client state). Russia would be incapable of fighting a two front conflict and China could hide behind ‘joining the global community to take down the aggressors’. >

Exactly. They wouldn't make the first or second move though. They would simply wait for the right time. >

No one likes Putin anyway, not even journalists. >

I was saying boo-tin. >

Journalists will be required to drink poison before the interview, if it goes well they get the antidote. >

Oh, he communicated with journalists?  How much (if any) truth will he talk? >

He communicated with state journalists. Never an actual journalist. >

In US journalist asks questions of you. In Russia you ask questions of journalist. >

In America, journalist question you! >

This has Weekend at Bernies written all over it. >

"Uhhhh....yeah Putin wanted to go... water-skiing?  Yeah! Water-skiing!  Lavrov wanted to show him his new boat...yep! Oh look here they come....."
Vroooo^oooo^oooom!!!!
Buoy clangs >

Hopefully it will now be via Ouija board. >

Bruh, I do NOT want to be haunted by the ghost of Vladimir Putin, put that thing away! >

Did he really give any live interviews? Seems like it will be just pre-taped material released, almost like propaganda 😎 >

He even messed up on his tape, calling the "special military operation" the war it actually is. That's probably the core behind this, he's afraid he's going to mess up again and look even more like an asshat. >

This is the best tl;dr I could make, original reduced by 54%. (I'm a bot)


Dmitry Peskov, the spokesman for the president of the aggressor country, said that Vladimir Putin would no longer communicate with journalists, as before, attributing it to the pandemic.
Quote from Peskov: "Honestly, it is unlikely that it will be exactly the same as it had been before the pandemic, it must be confessed, in the foreseeable future. You see that the mutation processes are going on, and so on, you see how strong the epidemiological waves of influenza of different strains are."
Details: Peskov explained that the rejection of the usual format of communication is allegedly primarily due to concern for Putin's health.


Extended Summary | FAQ | Feedback | Top keywords: Peskov^#1 pandemic^#2 Putin^#3 president^#4 Russian^#5 >

The tables are now so long Putin can't hear the journalists anymore. >

"Great Leader, who is your favourite film director?"
^("....what?")
"Huh? Sorry, Great Leader? What was that?"
^("...I...I don't ...SPEAK LOUDER!")
"Crowder? But he's not-"
^("I CAN'T HEAR YOU!")
"John Woo? DID YOU SAY JOHN WOO, GREAT LEADER?"
^("Someone get the messenger pigeons.") >

Our prices have never been better mister buttlicker >

It’s almost a crime that you didn’t type this comment in all caps, mate >

i was waiting for "you gotta speak a little louder, son" reply before i go full caps >

I hope he is dying in an extremely painful manner. >

It's this because of the ass cancer that made him shit his pants? Seriously..... Of all the a-holes that could have taken him out, it's his own?
Too bad he can't fall out of a bunker window like the oligarcs of late. >

Is he going to start telling the truth?  Who cares what this missed abortion opportunity says. Slava Ukraini! >

More of a load that should've been swallowed. >

I was thinking that when I responded to this but my mind wasn’t quiet awake at that point and I couldn’t get it out. Lol >

He’s hiding. >

From now on he won't just give the answers but also the questions >

He fired his PR department just like Elon! >

Genius. >

Trembling Putin goes to the Kremlin barbershop to get a haircut. While cutting his hair, the barber keeps on and on asking and talking about the 'special operation' in Ukraine.
Putin gets angry, grabs the chair handles and starts to shake even more:


You seem to be overly interested about the fate of Ukraine... Don't you understand what happens to people who are too nosy here in Russia? Are you insane? Do you want to fall from a fifth floor window? Be scared of wearing underwear? End up like Nemtsov???!!!


Nyet. I'm not interested at all about the war crimes. I don't care about the massacres, rape and bombing of civilians. Couldn't care less.


Why are you asking all these questions then?!


Every time I mention Ukraine your hair stands up. Easier to cut. >

I liked your prompt and wanted more, so I asked ChatGPT to continue your story to completion. Let's hope this becomes a work of non-fiction.

Trembling Putin sat down in the barber's chair at the Kremlin barbershop, trying to calm his nerves. He had been under a lot of stress lately, with the ongoing conflict in Ukraine and the constant pressure to maintain his grip on power.
As the barber began to cut his hair, he couldn't help but notice that the man kept on and on talking about the "special operation" in Ukraine. Putin tried to brush it off, pretending not to be interested, but the barber seemed determined to get a reaction out of him.
"I can't believe what's happening over there," the barber said, shaking his head. "All this fighting and bloodshed, it's just so unnecessary. And for what? Some land that nobody really cares about?"
Putin clenched his fists under the cape, feeling his anger rising. He had personally ordered the invasion of Ukraine, and he knew firsthand the importance of the territory they were fighting for. But he couldn't let the barber know that, so he tried to change the subject.
"I'm sure it will all work out in the end," Putin said, trying to sound confident. "We have a strong military, and they will make sure that our interests are protected."
But the barber wasn't satisfied with that answer. "I'm just saying, it's a shame to see all these young men dying over something so petty. There must be a better way to solve these conflicts."
Putin couldn't take it anymore. He stood up from the chair, knocking over the hairdressing supplies as he stormed out of the shop. He couldn't believe that even the barber in the Kremlin was questioning his leadership. He knew he had to do something to shore up his power, and he would stop at nothing to ensure the success of the special operation in Ukraine.
Determined to prove his worth and solidify his power, Putin made his way back to his office in the Kremlin. He spent the rest of the day pouring over intelligence reports and strategizing with his advisors, trying to come up with a plan to ensure the success of the special operation in Ukraine.
As the days and weeks went by, Putin threw himself into his work, becoming more and more obsessed with the conflict. He spent long hours in meetings and on the phone, doing whatever it took to secure victory for his country.
As he sat at his desk, he began to formulate a plan. He would use all the resources at his disposal to crush the rebellion in Ukraine and send a message to anyone who dared to challenge his authority. He would show them that he was the leader of Russia, and that he would not be defied.
Despite his determination to succeed, Putin found himself struggling to keep a grip on reality. His vision began to blur, and he started hearing strange noises in the distance. He tried to ignore them, focusing all of his energy on coming up with a plan, but the noises only grew louder and more insistent.
As the room began to spin around him, Putin realized that something was seriously wrong. He tried to stand up and get help, but his legs wouldn't support him. He collapsed to the ground, feeling a sense of panic wash over him.
As the world faded to black, Putin knew that he had lost control. He had let his ambition and desire for power consume him, and now it was too late to turn back. He closed his eyes, feeling a sense of despair wash over him as he realized that he had failed in his quest to shore up his power and ensure the success of the special operation in Ukraine. 
But before he could fully succumb to despair, Putin felt a sudden, urgent need to relieve himself. He tried to hold it in, knowing that it would be embarrassing and undignified to soil himself in front of others, but it was no use. He could feel the warmth spreading across his lower body as he lost control of his bowels. As the pain intensified, Putin knew that his time was running out. He had always been a man of great power and influence, but now he was nothing more than a helpless, dying man. And as he shit his pants, he knew that there was no way he was going to be able to hold on much longer.
Finally, with a last, desperate gasp, Putin took his last breath and closed his eyes for the final time. He died on that cold, hard floor, surrounded by the stench of his own excrement and the bitter taste of defeat. His ambition and desire for power had consumed him, and in the end, it had been his undoing. >

Quality stuff from the AI!  
Can I ask for a link to the chat bot, kind stranger? >

Anti-plagiarism software is going to have to step it up! >

I've heard people toss around phrases like "the end of homework" in complete earnestness. >

Thank god. All that ever falls from his mouth can be considered verbal diarrhea. >

Probably cause he just keeps pooping his pants >

Poor excuse when they really mean to say “his health is deteriorating quickly and we can’t have the press publishing pictures of him being frail or his diaper leaking”. >

His patron saint Hitler disappeared from public view before the end as well. >

Like futurama, just a head in a jar of vodka. >

No one wants to communicate with a person that by asking him the wrong answer, you'll somehow fall from the window a day after >

Will the journalists have to go to the hospice?
He's supposed to have cancer or something. >

Will I ever not see the word Kremlin and immediately think of the Gremlins movie?
"Gremlin reports that Putin’s communication with journalists no longer to be same as before"
As seen here >

It has the feel of changes being on the way down the pipe. >

He's going full Stalin, he'll die in a locked room without help because he's too worried to be assassinated. >

That whole story is the best example of being hoisted by your own petard there ever was. >

Brave Sir Putin ran away >

"Tick, tick, tick! How much time he got? That man is sick, sick, sick!" >

Putin and Xi had a "virtual" meeting. In opening remarks broadcast on Russian state TV, Putin said that the stabilizing force of the Russia-China relationship was becoming even more critical against the backdrop of growing geopolitical tensions. 
Xi echoed Putin's message of unity, saying that the two countries should "strengthen strategic coordination" and "inject more stability into the world,"
Xi also said China is ready to resume normal cross-border travel with Russia.
Oh, maybe this is why Putin is afraid to go out. >

Was this before or after China decided to roll back its lockdown?  That came on so suddenly, maybe Xi himself wasn't thinking about it when he made that remark >

After. Xi in denial, Putin in denial, it's a classic Egyptian love fest. Cleopatra had nothing on these two. Nothing says bromance like sharing disease. It's the plague baby, party on! Putin is horndogging on Ukraine. Xi has a hardon.for Taiwan. Both have apocalypse proof bunkers. >

Sane should be spelled with a n, not a m. >

No questions please about the blood on my hands. >

Considering he has no current information about the situation and he relies on his advisors to formulate strategy (and sometimes even tactics) looks like a move to have him separated further from decision making process. >

That's  how they let you know that you'll  be dealing with a body-double. >

No more talking to the press, too many of them interested in Putin shitting his pants. >

hes going to have to consult trump on where he gets his diapers. >

Scary cat... the truth hurts!
Now puto is becoming Bagdad Bob...  The End is near! >

aw, did they get mad at italy because, recently, Giorgia Meloni called them out through their own puppet TASS 'reporter'? >

He just skipping straight to the poisonings before they write anything now >

Before- journalist does interview at gunpoint
Now-journalist does interview with their family at gunpoint >

What is he going to finally tell the truth and come clean about all the people he's had murdered? >

I'm not saying Putin is dead, but whenever Putin does die, I'm sure this is how they will announce it. >

Surely they could use Zoom to ask him the questions he's trying to avoid without spreading those filthy journalist germs? >

This asshole needs some ludes , ask Leo if he has any leftover from Wolf of Wall Street >

Honestly loving every one of the guesses because it is likely all of them. >

Have you seen Putin sitting at the end of ginormously long tables speaking to someone sitting 50 metres away, it’s comical. It’s the KGB Tyrant paranoia getting worse. If you order 1000’s of people murdered and assassinated in your life, now also killing innocent Ukrainians and sending Russians to die, you start to fear yours is coming any minute now! Boom 💥 
He remembers what happened to his idle and mentor Hitler. Many assassination attempts at the end.. it’s not Covid >

Gonna show up looking like a thin Tom Brady after 30 days with his family. >

Yep, they might be a tad more ~~dicey~~ diced >

He’s either dead or very very sick >

NaNaNaNa, NaNaNaNa, hey, hey, hey, fuck you! >

MFer held ONE annual press conference. Fuck this asshole. >

Let's just hope he gets the same cold as Yuri Andropov did >

Christo Grozev posted swans without explanation at Dec 29, so we may witness something big.  
As a ukrainian I've heard something like this every month because copium, but still would be great. >

All journalists will be conducting interviews by 2nd story windows. >

The cancer must be taking its toll. >

Russia will 'Weekend at Bernie's' this clown before admitting he's gravely ill or dead >

Replaced by Chinese ai >

There is strong speculation that Putin is dying from cancer. >

Yes, he will dictate them what to write. >

I'm sure everything is totally fine, and there's absolutely nothing at all wrong with the supreme leader. /s >

Sounds like he's getting too sick to keep hiding it from any observant person.    
Good. >

Guess he found a bigger table. >

What happened to Putler? 
Who knows? 🤔
🇺🇦💪 >

What journalists? >

Sounds like news I heard 6 months ago. >

Look at me 
^^^I'm ^^^the ^^^reporter ^^^now.
#PresidentPoopyPants >

So?   .. it was always propaganda >

People are interested in the implications this might raise about Putin's health, or at least his waning level of confidence in his "special military operations." >

So he’s gnna stop killing em? >

Just don't mention the war >

I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it. >

...how ever did we lose that war ;) >

Sooo questions screened earlier or…? >

Now with even more lies and threats! >

Yep he changed it from mysterious illness to mysterious car crash >

Putin has a cold. >

Brain tumors will do that to a person. >

Does Russia have the ability to keep on going trough "second hand" orders? What does need his personal presence at all? >

What a sentence >

So, he's going to murder them less frequently? >

I’m surprised he’s still alive. >

Riveting. >

US&UK : omae wa mou shindeiru
Putin : NANI !!!