>

Rudy was an extremely unattractive woman.
Does this guy even exist? >

BREAKING: George Santos revealed to be three raccoons standing on top of each other. >

Breaking: raccoons revealed to be possums in masks and fur coats. >

BREAKING: possums in masks revealed to just be a broom. >

I was waiting for this to end with a broom, thank you. >

It was supposed to end with turtles all the way down >

you are thinking of Mitch >

sir this is a wendy’s >

No, this is Patrick! >

Founder of Wendy's... and we just received  word it's a George Santos' scam >

He's lived quite a life. Or maybe he hasn't; it's pretty hard to tell conclusively. >

He lived quite a lie. >

I am DYING to know whether he’s at all stressed by being caught in these HUGE lies. Like, what’s going through your head? I imagine most people would be shitting their pants but maybe by like the tenth hugely embarrassing blatant lie that makes international headlines it loses its edge? It’s just another day in the life of (the alleged) George Santos? Is he tossing and turning and losing sleep over this? Or is he totally unfazed by it? >

I’d probably resign out of shame itself. I mean I bet at least some of the scrutiny is because he hasn’t yet. >

yaaaa
As soon as the wwe announcer voice kicks in, you know it's ending poorly. >

This is like Catch Me if You Can if the protagonist was weird and dumb. >

I mean you call him dumb, but he:

Lied to everyone's faces right out in the open
Got elected
Got committee placements
Probably collecting all sorts of money under the table. 

As terrible as he is, he'll probably never see actual consequences and will probably make a lot of money. >

Idk he’s under federal investigation, easily could land him in prison. I’d not trade places with him right now. Also pretty sure he’ll be voted out of office in 2024 anyway, after which he will be unemployable. >

I'll wait for any of these people to see any consequences before I start having hope. 
I'm sure he'll get voted out, but he will have already made his money, probably have a book deal, and have some sort of pundit deal on some sort of terrible network. 
We are in the worst timeline after all. >

Good thing even a rich person can become destitute with a single hospital bill. U S A. U S A. >

Hell, I got a $30k raise when I switched to my new job, and because it's a smaller company, instantly about $10k of that raise was just paying for the difference in health insurance. Nothing like paying $1400 a month for a $10k family deductible plan that won't pay a dime in 99% of cases, because I never hit the deductible, and even if I finally did, they'd do everything in their power to avoid paying out the claims. >

You can't make this stuff up. >

Ironically, the one thing he can't make up. >

Hahaha 🤣 if l had some award l'd give it to ya >

I got you, fam. >

I got you too, fam >

Everyone also got me, fam >

Swing and a miss, fam. >

Fam a lam a ding dong >

Christ, I need to start selling Santos Bingo cards. >

I have thought the same thing. You need a sex with an extraterrestrial square.
Edit: Science, Space and Technology Committee? This is not an idle suggestion. >

The lying and the grifting seemed to be fine with the GOP, but will they tolerate the drag? >

Rudy Giuliani wore drag. Those were some of his better days.