>

How is stealing money from a sick armed service dog not a breaking point.
Does this guy even exist? >

BREAKING: George Santos revealed to be three raccoons standing on top of each other. >

Breaking: raccoons revealed to be possums in masks and fur coats. >

BREAKING: possums in masks revealed to just be a broom. >

I was waiting for this to end with a broom, thank you. >

It was supposed to end with turtles all the way down >

you are thinking of Mitch >

sir this is a wendy’s >

No, this is Patrick! >

Founder of Wendy's... and we just received  word it's a George Santos' scam >

He's lived quite a life. Or maybe he hasn't; it's pretty hard to tell conclusively. >

He lived quite a lie. >

I am DYING to know whether he’s at all stressed by being caught in these HUGE lies. Like, what’s going through your head? I imagine most people would be shitting their pants but maybe by like the tenth hugely embarrassing blatant lie that makes international headlines it loses its edge? It’s just another day in the life of (the alleged) George Santos? Is he tossing and turning and losing sleep over this? Or is he totally unfazed by it? >

I’d probably resign out of shame itself. I mean I bet at least some of the scrutiny is because he hasn’t yet. >

yaaaa
As soon as the wwe announcer voice kicks in, you know it's ending poorly. >

This is like Catch Me if You Can if the protagonist was weird and dumb. >

I mean you call him dumb, but he:

Lied to everyone's faces right out in the open
Got elected
Got committee placements
Probably collecting all sorts of money under the table. 

As terrible as he is, he'll probably never see actual consequences and will probably make a lot of money. >

Idk he’s under federal investigation, easily could land him in prison. I’d not trade places with him right now. Also pretty sure he’ll be voted out of office in 2024 anyway, after which he will be unemployable. >

I'll wait for any of these people to see any consequences before I start having hope. 
I'm sure he'll get voted out, but he will have already made his money, probably have a book deal, and have some sort of pundit deal on some sort of terrible network. 
We are in the worst timeline after all. >

Good thing even a rich person can become destitute with a single hospital bill. U S A. U S A. >

Hell, I got a $30k raise when I switched to my new job, and because it's a smaller company, instantly about $10k of that raise was just paying for the difference in health insurance. Nothing like paying $1400 a month for a $10k family deductible plan that won't pay a dime in 99% of cases, because I never hit the deductible, and even if I finally did, they'd do everything in their power to avoid paying out the claims. >

You can't make this stuff up. >

Ironically, the one thing he can't make up. >

Hahaha 🤣 if l had some award l'd give it to ya >

I got you, fam. >

I got you too, fam >

Everyone also got me, fam >

Swing and a miss, fam. >

Fam a lam a ding dong >

Christ, I need to start selling Santos Bingo cards. >

I have thought the same thing. You need a sex with an extraterrestrial square.
Edit: Science, Space and Technology Committee? This is not an idle suggestion. >

The lying and the grifting seemed to be fine with the GOP, but will they tolerate the drag? >

Rudy Giuliani wore drag. Those were some of his better days. >

Rudy was an extremely unattractive woman. >

And is an extremely unattractive man. >

And is an extremely unattractive piece of shit. >

Reminder - nothing wrong with being a drag queen - what’s cringeworthy is the hypocrisy >

Also drag and being trans are not the same, at all. >

Also, conservatives love drag for some reason. Remember when that Trump/Giuliani video came back around a few years ago? Conservatives loved it and said that humor is a why they love Trump so much. >

Crossdressing is a staple of English boomer comedy >

Eddy Izzard >

I didn’t think Eddy was doing it for humor though. >

She's not. She's genderfluid. There aren't nearly enough prominent genderfluid people out there. >

Out and trans now. >

Another wild twist in this preposterous, disgraceful saga. Santos has turned out to be many of the things that Republicans publicly rail against, yet they have no intention of booting him. But a vote is a vote, so it's all ok >

All the Russian money he has and blackmail he has on others. >

There’s this and there’s memorial dog money he stole. George Santos does not fuck around. You could find him going through your drawers and to your face he’d go, “I’m not even here right now.” >

He would pretend to be you and say he was your name to your face. And think you would believe him. >

Reality is just trolling us at this point