>

I hear there's actually quite a lucrative underground market for yellow cake.
How many packs of cakes are you going through a day? >

Oh fuck me sideways, I go through at least three packs of Lil Debbies a day >

Have you ever tried quitting cake? One of the hardest damn things I've ever done. Thank god for cigarettes, I don't think I could have quit it with out taking up smoking. >

I just took up cocaine. I'm no longer hungry, but I also can't sit down >

Heh. Reminds me of Arman.  Arman was a great guy, real power house dude.  We worked in fabrication at a factory together.  Not climate controlled and it could be very hot or very cold inside, but my man Arman did not have an ounce of quit in him.  Every day Arman was at work, and he was slamming parts through. Didn't matter where they put him, he fucking crushed it. You'd think he'd been doing this for decades but he wasn't that old and he only started a few weeks before I did. 
Well one day we have a mandatory plant wide safety meeting, it's the annual drug and alcohol abuse policy, box standard stuff but one thing I've never seen before, if you have a problem you can go to HR, and they'll work with you.  Kinda sus but we're union and that policy is contractually protected. So cool.
Anyway about a week later I come in to work and Arman is on light duty, working different hours. I stop and chat for a second but he doesn't look like he's feeling well but isn't complaining. Months go by and he never leaves light duty. He seems like he's doing pretty well after a few weeks but he's not himself. Still very positive, very good dude. Just different. By the time he went back to full duty I was in a completely different department, so I didn't see it personality, apparently he just couldn't produce the same quantity as before. He's not bad, just average.  Around that time upper management was looking to reduce labor and started cracking down on productivity.  It's nothing I hadn't seen before and as long as you're keeping busy the entire day it's not an issue for most people. But it is a lot of pressure to perform. A LOT of pressure.
Then one day, my man Arman is back. I walked through his department and he is an absolute beast again.  He seemed so happy, I was glad to see it.
For about a week. 
Then one Friday night I saw him clock out and I never saw him again. 
Because Arman went home and overdosed before coming in to work the next morning. 
Turns out I had gotten to know this guy high. And being sober he was a much more normal dude. And sobriety was going well until he was faced with the one thing he was really good at high and feeling like he needed to do that to keep his job.  
He survived, but quit rather than face that pressure again. As far as I know he's sober again. >

Was expecting meme, got real story. Not disappointed. Hope Arman stays clean! >

I must be doing cake wrong, because these people are clearly aerosolizing the cake and dispersing it through the HVAC ducts to force ingestion. >

I guess you never had the cake that Bob brings in to the office.  Really the best way to enjoy it. >

Of course a chair would say that.  Holding up those cake eating office workers all day sucks. >

I mean I can choose not to eat the cake. I can't choose to not breathe. I mean I can but only once >

You actually can't choose not to breathe. Eventually you'll fall unconscious and will automatically start breathing again. Your only real choice in this regard is what atmosphere (if any) is available to breath. >

You under estimate the power of a belt >

Just like David Carradine >

Psst... hey buddy...  ...y'wanna buy some cake?