comment: >
  
  
  A true friend also cares about you enough to warn you when you set down the wrong path or fall in with the wrong crowd, and lay into you if you refuse to listen. They will have zero qualms hurting your feelings if there is no alternative to get your head on straight.
  
  All of these qualities are going to be true of both good friends and good parents. It does not, however, logically follow that parents are (or should be) friends. The relationships have  other differences.
  A kid's friends are typically his or her peers. Although my friend may be more inclined to listen to me than to a random stranger, I have no authority over my friend and I cannot force my friend to behave in certain ways. Nor can my friend exercise such force over me. If I need to enforce rules on my friend, I can do so through social pressure or by summoning an authority, like our parents.
  Parents are not their children's peers. Parents exercise authority and control over their children and have the power to make decisions on their kids' behalf until their kids reach adulthood or become legally emancipated. That power is coupled with a responsibility to teach their children how to be good adults.
  To say that you can't be both a parent and friend is to say that you can't both have authority and not. You can, of course, have a great deal of fun with your kids, and it's a great thing when parents do. The catch is that in order to exercise your responsibility toward your kids, you need to maintain a line of authority that doesn't exist in friendship. Nobody's saying you shouldn't like or care about your kids.
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  I don't think that is at all what this phrase means or how anyone uses it. 
  As far as I understood it, it means that you are in a guiding role. If you just "hang out" with your kid like you do with friends, you're not a good parent. 
  A friend is someone you can relate to, who makes you feel less alone and shares your experiences. 
  But a parent is your guide. You can't relate to them, cause they're at a very different state in their lives. But they can give you good advice unlike a friend.
  So you can't be both. Don't try to be the cool buddy dad. A kid needs a guiding figure who tells them what to do and where to go. This isn't really what a friend does nor what a friend should do. 
  I don't think it has anything to do with how much you love someone. >
  
  This, I will absolutely concede. !Delta
  I didn't mean to say that a parent should not see themselves in a position of authority above their child, but the distinction does make sense as to why the original saying that I based this CMV off of is made. >
  
  Confirmed: 1 delta awarded to /u/zuluportero (36∆).
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  > is a proper parent not supposed to be your first friend, as well as the guide and leader that keeps you on track?
  A friend is an equal to you. Neither one of you has more power over the other one, and you both have equal authority to 'make' the other do something - 0 power. If you want to go to the store and your friend doesn't, then it's up to you to negotiate it out or figure out a compromise but you can't force your friend to come to the store and your friend can't force you to just wear what you have at home. A friend is someone you have secrets with away from your parent, and who you get to exercise your growing social skills with. They are people who, crucially, you can choose to drop and not interact with ever again. In general, parents do not fit that crtieria. (Absent specific circumstances).
  A parent needs a bit of separation from their child. They are *not* alike. A child and a parent have a relationship where one of them does have power and control over the other. Now, does that mean that there is no room for discussion and negotiation? Of course not - good parents should be open to the idea that they are wrong on some things and be willing to listen to their children.
  But there needs to be that dynamic there. If it's 3am and my five year old super wants to go to get nuggies and fries, well, that's cute but we're not having this discussion now. It doesn't matter what their feelings on the matter are - my feelings are more important. As a friend, that would be hurtful and offensive to say "your feelings are irrelevant, do what I tell you." But as a parent, it's necessary. In that moment, I am not their friend, we are not having a 'discussion' about this and there is no room for compromise or them to persuade me. Their feelings are valid (I, too, have had the 3am nuggies and fries wants) but they don't get to act on those feelings and I get to make the decision that they need to go back to bed.
  The same goes for many things. What clothes they wear, what classes they take, what hobbies they can pick up. There is room for them to have *input* and the older they get, the more that imput is both necessary and guiding for me, as their parent, but I make the final choices. I have more power in that relationship and it's my job as a parent to use it the way I feel is necessary to keep them safe, well, and healthy.
  We are at totally different points in our lives, and have totally different dynamics in our relationship. Crucially, as a parent, I have legal and ethical responsibilities that friends don't towards my child, such as making sure they go to school even if they don't want to, making them have medical procedures that they might not want or appreciate, and even disciplining them for things their friends might think of as 'non-issues'. 
  I don't want to be their friend, either. They need friends of their own age, to share experiences with for the first time, and to talk about things that I shouldn't be privy to. They need to develop their own social skills and their own feelings about things that I shouldn't be involved with. As an adult, they and I might have a different relationship, when we can be more like friends, but as a child, we are not. 
  Friends are people you choose to be with and to spend time with and make plans with. Parents have responsibilities to guide their tiny angry children who want nothing more than to do stupid dangerous things and figure out how the toaster works with a knife to adulthood with all their limbs intact, with social skills, and a vague idea of 'good citizenry'. >
  
  
  A friend is an equal to you.
  
  damn okay guess I’ll tell my boss we aren’t friends like we thought >
  
  I mean being friends with your boss does come with a lot of caveats and the biggest one is... are they your friend or your boss? What happens if layoffs come around and your name is one of those picked? What happens if they have to tell you that they're not promoting you because you just aren't that good at the job? What about if they have to tell you that you're a good friend but a bad employee? There's a reason that being friends with your boss isn't a good thing. You can be friendly but being friends? That's a bad mix. >
  
  
  It's universally accepted by people with more than two braincells to rub together that a true friend who truly cares about you, is someone who will speak to and deal with you in truth,for better or worse, regardless of whether it makes you happy or sad. They'll have your back in the face of trouble and adversity, laugh with you in moments of pure joy and happiness, and encourage you to achieve your goals in the healthiest ways possible. A true friend also cares about you enough to warn you when you set down the wrong path or fall in with the wrong crowd, and lay into you if you refuse to listen. They will have zero qualms hurting your feelings if there is no alternative to get your head on straight. Bearing those aforementioned qualities mind, is that not what a parent is supposed to do? Based on those qualities, is a proper parent not supposed to be your first friend, as well as the guide and leader that keeps you on track?
  
  You're ignoring one very glaring thing, it's a two way street. Yes those are things you do for your friend, but what your ignoring is things friends do for you. You do not rely on your 8 year old child when you are in trouble, you do not expect your 14 year old child to be truthful and honest with you, You do no expect your 6 year old child to encourage you to achieve your goals in healthiest way possible. Friends are people who you rely on, and you simply cannot rely on your child as you would a friend, at least not until they grow up. 
  Another main difference between a child and a friend is, you can warn your friend when they are going down the wrong path but you can't discipline them for it, you can't send them to their room without ice cream because they didn't do their homework (or for a more adult example look for a job). What you are describing is merely overlapping qualities between the friends dynamic and the parent/child dynamic while ignoring all the mutually exclusive qualities. >
  
  If that is the predominant rationale behind the statement, then it makes perfect sense. Thanks for the response. !Delta >
  
  Confirmed: 1 delta awarded to /u/DogTheGoodBoy (1∆).
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  A true friend also cares about you enough to warn you when you set down the wrong path or fall in with the wrong crowd, and lay into you if you refuse to listen. They will have zero qualms hurting your feelings if there is no alternative to get your head on straight.
  
  I don't think little children conceptualize this very well, which is what the phrase refers to.  
  A little kid might not understand why they cannot have candy right before bed time. A true friend would give them candy. >
  
  The most similar dynamic is can you be someone's boss/friend? >
  
  I would say closer would be trying to be a teacher/friend to a kid. Which is a huge NO.