comment: >
  
  Actually if they do say that you'll know not to talk to them. "Oh you're from here, that's cool, me too" as soon as you start leaning in to the "but really" you're an ignorant asshole. After taking ancestry DNA I found out where I'm from and strangely I was one of the first people here. I'm also white, anyone not Native American was from somewhere else, asking but really where are you from? Is just literally so fuckin stupid I can't even justify it. 
  Sorry thats happened. That's how people like trump won. Half the country really is that stupid.
context: Tanner's family said on social media that they were in town to watch him graduate. After he went missing, however, they learned he had fallen short of the requirements to graduate. Texas A&M confirmed he was not part of the ceremonies. 
  
  This is terribly sad. >
  
  Make sure your kids know your love is unconditional and that they can talk to you about anything.  This didn’t have to mean the end.  Just heart breaking. >
  
  For some parents it is conditional though. Grades, prestige, your career, who you marry or love all of this shit shouldn't matter in a sane world. 
  Alas we've created an actual hellscape that puts status above all else and a lot of parents fall for that precarious trap. It's fucking disgusting. 
  For example after moving back home (burnt out in job during the pandemic, became an alcoholic and struggled to find work in my feild) my father reminds me often how little I matter, and only talks to me when I'm doing well (got a new job)  and not when I truly need it. My childhood showed me people only care about you when you're doing well and thriving and that you should fuck off and die if you aren't. 
  All in all I understand why he did it. It wasn't a good decision in my opinion and it's a horrible tragedy... but I get it. >
  
  Yeah. Nothing made me feel more worthless than when I lost my job selling cars during the recession. It took over a year to get a minimum wage job. That whole time people kept asking "so what do you do for a living?" Which was soul crushing. 
  If I could change anything about society it would be don't ask what people do for a living or ask them how school is going. They are already stressed, ask them about something safe like the NFL and if they are a Steelers fan the good news is you'll never have to talk to them again. >
  
  My go to has been "what have you been enjoying spending time on recently? >
  
  My real go to is "where are you from?" Because it's not broad and can lead to more questions. Most times it leads to "I moved here to," or "born and raised here". Then you can just ask "how is that thing you moved here to do?' or "Oh you're from here, where did you go to school'. 
  I have over a decade of sales experience (including car sales) so most of my interactions were people being scared I was jerk and thinking I was trying to take their money. I'm not like that and this was the fastest way to loosen them up >
  
  I hate that question though honestly. It’s so overused, I get sick of telling people the same thing all the time. >
  
  Yeah, this question doesn’t work if you’re any kind of brown person. It usually goes, “oh you’re from here? But where are you really from?” 🤮