comment: >
context: The Mobile Police Department thinks it might be from the victim of a deadly motorcyclist crash on a nearby highway.
  While police did not explain how the appendage arrived at the gas station, local reports say that surveillance video appeared to show it fall from a truck that had stopped to get fuel. 
  
  I have sooooooo many questions.
  This could be one of the weirdest God damn articles I've ever read. >
  
  My money is in birds. Birds are how it got there. >
  
  A swallow perhaps? >
  
  It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a whole severed penis. >
  
  What if two swallows carried it together? >
  
  Perhaps an African swallow. >
  
  I don't know... AAAAAAHHHH!!!! >
  
  I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
  And my penis was missing again.
  This happens all the time.
  It's detachable.
  This comes in handy a lot of the time.
  I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
  Or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
  But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
  And the next morning I can't for the life of me
  Remember what I did with it. >
  
  LOL, that's exactly what popped into my mind. >
  
  Yeah, as a guy, I don't think I'm gonna read that. >
  
  as a guy, i’m definitely reading that. morbid curiosity. >
  
  As an Alabama gas station attendant I can tell you this happens more often than you think. >
  
  As an Alabamian who frequents gas stations and attendants, I see this all the time. >
  
  As an attendant who frequents Alabamans in gas stations, this happens every single day. >
  
  As a penis collector, I think I might have left one in Alabama >
  
  Oh my god. >!They think it blew off a motorcycle rider that crashed!< >
  
  When r/MeatCrayon (NSFW) is a little too on-the-nose >
  
  Sweet Home Alabama
  If my eyes don't misconstrue
  Sweet Home Alabama
  Lord, there's a dick in Aisle 2! >
  
  I nearly spat my drink everywhere after reading that, well done! >
  
  Thank you, I'm glad you managed to retain the beverage :) >
  
  Found “shortly” after 6am >
  
  Daaaaaamn! 😂 Savage. >
  
  I couldn't imagine riding my motorcycle down the highway then waking up with my dick gone >
  
  Find the man with the missing penis and you will solve the mystery. >
  
  I'm trying but my jaw is tired! >
  
  The pump says make a selection, not leave your erection... >
  
  Pump and dump >
  
  Embarrassinggggg. >
  
  Right? I hate when I leave my dick at the gas station. 
  Thank god for Air Tags. >
  
  People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
  But I don't know.
  Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
  I like having a detachable penis. >
  
  I haven't listened to that song in ages! >
  
  "Ah, the human horn."
  Lrrr, ruler of Omicron Persei 8 >
  
  
  I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
  And my penis was missing again.
  This happens all the time.
  It's detachable.  
  This comes in handy a lot of the time.
  I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
  Or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
  But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
  And the next morning I can't for the life of me
  Remember what I did with it.  
  First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
  So I called up the place where the party was,
  They hadn't seen it either.
  I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
  'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
  But not this time.  
  So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
  I called a few people who were at the party,
  But they were no help either.
  I was starting to get desperate.
  I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
  It makes me feel like less of a man,
  And I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.  
  After a few hours of searching the house,
  And calling everyone I could think of,
  I was starting to get very depressed,
  So I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
  Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
  Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,  
  I saw my penis lying on a blanket
  Next to a broken toaster oven.
  Some guy was selling it.
  I had to buy it off him.
  He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.  
  I took it home, washed it off,
  And put it back on.
  I was happy again.
  Complete.  
  People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
  But I don't know.
  Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
  I like having a detachable penis.
  
  Detachable Penis by King Crimson >
  
  🎶🎵Detachable Penis...🎵🎶 >
  
  That's where he left it. >
  
  Penises fall off all the time, the world's an imperfect place. >
  
  "Give it to me Bender!" >
  
  Contrary to popular opinion, we are in exactly the timeline we deserve.  WTF. >
  
  I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
  And my penis was missing again.
  This happens all the time.
  It's detachable. >
  
  This article raised more questions than provide any answers or clarification >
  
  Fell off a truck? wha....? >
  
  Why wouldn't they headline it as dismembered member? >
  
  wake up babe new bottom surgery dropped >
  
  I bet money that pin worm Tucker Carlson is going to spin this story to " Dr's performing illegal Trans surgeries in gas stations" >
  
  Lorena is back. >
  
  Looks like another ticket for littering then. >
  
  What was Trump doing there? >
  
  😂😂😂 >
  
  RemindMe! 24 hours >
  
  I am your detachable penis >
  
  And I thought getting your socks knocked off in a crash was bad >
  
  I mean, out of all the body parts, this one is the least surprising to be found in a gas station. >
  
  I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again. This happens all the time, it’s detachable. >
  
  Easier to find than that Australian radioactive capsule >
  
  Reminds me of a old reddit post where someone found chopped off balls and dick in the corner of a public bathroom >
  
  The story left me a bit... flaccid. >
  
  Someone lost their midday snack... Only incest and cannibalism in Alarbameee >
  
  Someone is gonna need an addadicktome >
  
  That’s Alabama for you. >
  
  it fall from a truck that had stopped to get fuel >
  
  Lorena Bobbit was filling up? >
  
  Poor motorcyclist >
  
  What was Senator Rick Scott doing in Alabama? >
  
  That’s it. Enough Reddit for today. >
  
  "THAT'S where my pen is. Always losing that thing. Keeping track of my pen is hard" >
  
  Next up: Penisless person found in Pennsylvania. >
  
  i wonder if the truck that stopped was a Stericycle truck
  they transport lots of medical waste
  knew a guy that drove for them. back door was loose, went to fix it and a human head rolled out >
  
  (laughs in Lorena Bobbit) >
  
  Funny i bet there will be people on the right that will complain their free speech was abused because they could not  see the pics of the severed penis.Just like when they did not get to see Hunter's dick pics. >
  
  I’m amazed it hasn’t decomposed! I wonder if it was hard when it was found :). >
  
  Ah it was pretty easy. Just laying there in the open.