comment: >
  
  Looks like another ticket for littering then.
context: The Mobile Police Department thinks it might be from the victim of a deadly motorcyclist crash on a nearby highway.
  While police did not explain how the appendage arrived at the gas station, local reports say that surveillance video appeared to show it fall from a truck that had stopped to get fuel. 
  
  I have sooooooo many questions.
  This could be one of the weirdest God damn articles I've ever read. >
  
  My money is in birds. Birds are how it got there. >
  
  A swallow perhaps? >
  
  It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a whole severed penis. >
  
  What if two swallows carried it together? >
  
  Perhaps an African swallow. >
  
  I don't know... AAAAAAHHHH!!!! >
  
  I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
  And my penis was missing again.
  This happens all the time.
  It's detachable.
  This comes in handy a lot of the time.
  I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
  Or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
  But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
  And the next morning I can't for the life of me
  Remember what I did with it. >
  
  LOL, that's exactly what popped into my mind. >
  
  Yeah, as a guy, I don't think I'm gonna read that. >
  
  as a guy, i’m definitely reading that. morbid curiosity. >
  
  As an Alabama gas station attendant I can tell you this happens more often than you think. >
  
  As an Alabamian who frequents gas stations and attendants, I see this all the time. >
  
  As an attendant who frequents Alabamans in gas stations, this happens every single day. >
  
  As a penis collector, I think I might have left one in Alabama >
  
  Oh my god. >!They think it blew off a motorcycle rider that crashed!< >
  
  When r/MeatCrayon (NSFW) is a little too on-the-nose >
  
  Sweet Home Alabama
  If my eyes don't misconstrue
  Sweet Home Alabama
  Lord, there's a dick in Aisle 2! >
  
  I nearly spat my drink everywhere after reading that, well done! >
  
  Thank you, I'm glad you managed to retain the beverage :) >
  
  Found “shortly” after 6am >
  
  Daaaaaamn! 😂 Savage. >
  
  I couldn't imagine riding my motorcycle down the highway then waking up with my dick gone >
  
  Find the man with the missing penis and you will solve the mystery. >
  
  I'm trying but my jaw is tired! >
  
  The pump says make a selection, not leave your erection... >
  
  Pump and dump >
  
  Embarrassinggggg. >
  
  Right? I hate when I leave my dick at the gas station. 
  Thank god for Air Tags. >
  
  People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
  But I don't know.
  Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
  I like having a detachable penis. >
  
  I haven't listened to that song in ages! >
  
  "Ah, the human horn."
  Lrrr, ruler of Omicron Persei 8 >
  
  
  I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
  And my penis was missing again.
  This happens all the time.
  It's detachable.  
  This comes in handy a lot of the time.
  I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
  Or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
  But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
  And the next morning I can't for the life of me
  Remember what I did with it.  
  First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
  So I called up the place where the party was,
  They hadn't seen it either.
  I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
  'Cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
  But not this time.  
  So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
  I called a few people who were at the party,
  But they were no help either.
  I was starting to get desperate.
  I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
  It makes me feel like less of a man,
  And I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.  
  After a few hours of searching the house,
  And calling everyone I could think of,
  I was starting to get very depressed,
  So I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
  Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
  Where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,  
  I saw my penis lying on a blanket
  Next to a broken toaster oven.
  Some guy was selling it.
  I had to buy it off him.
  He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.  
  I took it home, washed it off,
  And put it back on.
  I was happy again.
  Complete.  
  People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
  But I don't know.
  Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
  I like having a detachable penis.
  
  Detachable Penis by King Crimson >
  
  🎶🎵Detachable Penis...🎵🎶 >
  
  That's where he left it. >
  
  Penises fall off all the time, the world's an imperfect place. >
  
  "Give it to me Bender!" >
  
  Contrary to popular opinion, we are in exactly the timeline we deserve.  WTF. >
  
  I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
  And my penis was missing again.
  This happens all the time.
  It's detachable. >
  
  This article raised more questions than provide any answers or clarification >
  
  Fell off a truck? wha....? >
  
  Why wouldn't they headline it as dismembered member? >
  
  wake up babe new bottom surgery dropped >
  
  I bet money that pin worm Tucker Carlson is going to spin this story to " Dr's performing illegal Trans surgeries in gas stations" >
  
  Lorena is back.