comment: >
  
  I couldn't imagine riding my motorcycle down the highway then waking up with my dick gone
context: The Mobile Police Department thinks it might be from the victim of a deadly motorcyclist crash on a nearby highway.
  While police did not explain how the appendage arrived at the gas station, local reports say that surveillance video appeared to show it fall from a truck that had stopped to get fuel. 
  
  I have sooooooo many questions.
  This could be one of the weirdest God damn articles I've ever read. >
  
  My money is in birds. Birds are how it got there. >
  
  A swallow perhaps? >
  
  It's not a question of where he grips it! It's a simple question of weight ratios! A five ounce bird could not carry a whole severed penis. >
  
  What if two swallows carried it together? >
  
  Perhaps an African swallow. >
  
  I don't know... AAAAAAHHHH!!!! >
  
  I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
  And my penis was missing again.
  This happens all the time.
  It's detachable.
  This comes in handy a lot of the time.
  I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
  Or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
  But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
  And the next morning I can't for the life of me
  Remember what I did with it. >
  
  LOL, that's exactly what popped into my mind. >
  
  Yeah, as a guy, I don't think I'm gonna read that. >
  
  as a guy, i’m definitely reading that. morbid curiosity. >
  
  As an Alabama gas station attendant I can tell you this happens more often than you think. >
  
  As an Alabamian who frequents gas stations and attendants, I see this all the time. >
  
  As an attendant who frequents Alabamans in gas stations, this happens every single day. >
  
  As a penis collector, I think I might have left one in Alabama >
  
  Oh my god. >!They think it blew off a motorcycle rider that crashed!< >
  
  When r/MeatCrayon (NSFW) is a little too on-the-nose >
  
  Sweet Home Alabama
  If my eyes don't misconstrue
  Sweet Home Alabama
  Lord, there's a dick in Aisle 2! >
  
  I nearly spat my drink everywhere after reading that, well done! >
  
  Thank you, I'm glad you managed to retain the beverage :) >
  
  Found “shortly” after 6am >
  
  Daaaaaamn! 😂 Savage.