comment: >
  
  Yes, but the point is that it happened after months of friendship first, not at the forefront. Which is why many people prefer to start platonically and let things develop.
context: I met my wife in a bar. I was drunk as shit and my pickup line was "You're cute, wanna make out?"
  She said "hell no", but I talked to her again the next day when I was sober and we hit it off instantly. 
  I think the best relationships just don't involve the games, or one person chasing until the other finally settles and gives in. >
  
  Great story, but how were you able to talk to her again the next day? Or was she the bartender? >
  
  She was there drinking with her sister and added me on facebook later, and we also matched on Tinder the next day lol. She said she was impressed that I took her rejection well and didn't push it like most drunk guys in bars do. I think I apologized at the time too for being so forward, as it's not something I normally do/did. We were dating and basically living together 2 weeks later. >
  
  Oh wow it almost seems like you guys were meant to be together with everything falling into place like that lol. That’s amazing it worked out though and I wish you two the best of luck! >
  
  I was good friends with my husband for about 8 years before we started dating. I think we both just needed to grow up a bit. But when we told our friend group we started dating the general reactions was "about time!" So I guess it was obvious to everyone but us lol. >
  
  Me and my first wife were like rhat >
  
  Then what happened? >
  
  She enjoyed her co worker and dentist's penises, and when I voiced my discontent, she decided she was gonna become an actor and moved to Hollywood. The dentist so, "completely unconnected", moved too >
  
  Shit I'm sorry. >
  
  Ahh it's fine, we're both on spouse #3 now, the dentist lost her too, and she never got an acting role. Meanwhile I got 2 beautiful children, a lifetime of happiness, and got to ruin my second marriage all on my own >
  
  Congrats, I love happy endings!! >
  
  Hell yeah brother >
  
  You’re only saying that because it’s not real >
  
  What isn't real? My two divorces? >
  
  This is at least plausible. I agree that the strongest romantic relationships contain an element of robust friendship, but I'm not sure that you need to START like this first. It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently. >
  
  
  It's possible to develop romance and friendship concurrently.
  
  I really think this is what happened between my wife and I.  We met online gaming in 2000.  That doesn't sound revolutinary by today's standards but then it was.  We talked more and more and it just kind of developed that we were friends, then it moved to RL and not just games.  We became best friends and lovers all at the same time.  Been together ever since. >
  
  
  We met online gaming in 2000. Been together ever since.
  
  Don't give redditors too much hope..
  jk congrats! >
  
  LOL. It was a text based online trivia game. No photos no voice. Just text. You really get to know someone that way. No distractions. >
  
  What game? >
  
  Pyroto Mountain >
  
  Totally agree, I was friends with my wife for 2 years before we began dating. We will be having our 15th wedding anniversary in a couple weeks. >
  
  Congratulations! Yay for best friends!! >
  
  I sorta disagree, from personal experience.
  When I dated someone who I'd been friends with for years, it didn't turn out well. Yeah sure, I knew the bad and good things about them. But that's a double edged sword, because they figured that I would 'be okay with' the same things now that we were in a relationship. There was nothing new for me to learn about him and no bonding experiences that could help us know each other deeper/better, because we already knew each other incredibly well. He wouldn't shut up about his ex before or during our relationship. I gave him an ultimatum and he only continued. I broke up with him and then became an ex he won't shut up about. 
  However, when I met my current long distance partner, we only knew each other a month before getting together, as there was relatively quick mutual attraction. Our relationship is now 5 years strong and learning new things about them is/has been a bonding experience that I didn't have with the aforementioned ex of mine.
  So, I think this isn't true in all cases. >
  
  Yup, I dated a close friend. Together for years only for him to cheat on me.
  I'm now engaged to someone I met on Bumble, I have a deeper connection with him and he respects me a hell of a lot more than my ex did when I think about it. >
  
  Then you get told "I wish I met someone like you." >
  
  They make for the most difficult breakups, >
  
  Agreeable. I wouldnt say "The strongest romantic relationships" HAVE to start that way, but the ones that do tend to be strong romantic relationships. >
  
  Sometimes. A better phrase would be that the strongest romantic relationships are also the strongest friendships.
  Also The honeymoon phase is all relationships. Friendships and lovers. It tends to stop in all relationship when kids get involved 😬 >
  
  Eh, I agree with OP and think it's unpopular because the number of people who meet this way is plummeting, so the acknowledgement makes those people feel insecure.
  Of course you can start a relationship romantically and have it remain successful indefinitely as long as you also build friendship along the way. But there are two key areas this method can never truly replicate:
  
  
  Having your respect for someone develop 100% independently of your attraction to them. I know a fair number of couples that can't seem to untangle respect and attraction. So when their partner falls in attractiveness it also lowers their overall respect for them. Sometimes that tracks... But sometimes it doesn't (for example, after kids when both people are too tired muster much attraction). Eventually, it leads to problems.
  
  
  Accountability. When you meet through and share a community, there are repercussions for acting a fool. When your only connection to each other is your relationship, there is less incentive to remain civil because you won't be judged/punished by 3rd parties if you don't.
  
  
  If you look at the complaints that GenZ and younger Millennials have about dating, a lot them can be summed up as "I'm being treated like a commodity, not like a person." Having mutual social ties prevents a lot of that.
  I 100% agree with you about the Honeymoon phase though. After 3 years of being close friends, I started dating my now fiance. Strongest Honeymoon phase I've ever experienced, and also the longest - it's yet to end two years in (and we won't be having kids, so maybe it never will). >
  
  If you meet somebody you’re attracted to, there is no reason you can’t build your romantic relationship along with your friendship. This is typically what i did in all of my relationships. If we couldn’t connect on a more in depth way than attraction, the relationship didn’t last long enough to even call it a relationship. 
  A romantic relationship isn’t different than any other except romantic ones tend to involve people feeling more intimate with each other. But it’s the same as if you meet somebody you could never be attracted to. You get to know them. It’s all just regular relationship stuff. If you get into a relationship and don’t bond with that person, friendship or romantic or even family, it doesn’t matter. It’s going to be a fail >
  
  People struggle with dating because of these types of opinions. There is no one way to develop a good relationship, there are many. And one way that works for some people can be the exact reason it fails for others. It depends on everyone involved. >
  
  Wish I could upvote this more. Just because one way works for one couple, does not mean it works that way for others. >
  
  I’m in a 5 year relationship with someone who I was friends with. I knew him for like ten years now. I do disagree tho, we definitely had a honeymoon phase >
  
  I don’t know… lots of women seem to get upset, if they are asked out by their friends >
  
  As a woman, I believe it's because  it comes off as if you were trying to get into a romantic relationship under the guise of a friendship, which can seem deceptive to some. >
  
  I know
  But what if it was a genuine friendship at first and they still try to shoot their shot later? >
  
  Oh that's different if the friendship is genuine and they happen to develop feelings, then fine,cool.Obviously that's different from pretending. 
  Also if both parties happen to have mutual feelings, while initially just starting out as friends,fine.
  Of course outliers can happen. >
  
  How would someone know, that he wasn’t pretending? >
  
  Honestly? It depends on how you accept the rejection. I’ve lost too many male friends because they started a friendship under the assumption that it would turn into something more. >
  
  I somewhat agree, but not everyone is lucky enough to have or can stay in social circles where you find your s/o. >
  
  I actually don't think this is as unpopular as you might think. I think at least some people looking for a steamy romance are not necessarily thinking about a life partner, which is totally ok. In the context of looking for a life partner, this seems pretty common.
  That said, there are some cases where I'd strongly disagree. Dating allows you to filter people out who have definite life incompatibilities with you. Falling for your friends is great if your friend is compatible with you, but sometimes they're not. I've fallen in love with two close friends, neither who I ever would have gone on a date with (both of them fell for me back). In the end, the friendships turned toxic and fell apart because we wanted things from each other that we actually weren't willing to give, given what we wanted from life. I've honestly had much better luck falling in lust with someone, hanging out with them to see if we're baseline compatible, if not long term, and going from there. This isn't like a one-size-fits-all, but there are definite reasons to date strangers. >
  
  I think you’re projecting. My 25 years-and-counting relationship with my wife started out on a foundation of raw, animalistic lust. >
  
  But on the other hand there are plenty of people that are best friends, try to date and realize they have no romantic thing, and afterwards it's getting weird etc. 
  You need a romantic and friendship-base, if you want to stay happy togehter. But what comes first is basically irrelevant. >
  
  That’s great since every time I’ve caught feelings for a friend I also lost them as a friend >
  
  The trick is to not stare at them intently for too long at a time >
  
  True imo the best relationships are the ones where both partners fully trust and know each other's >
  
  Enemies to lovers is the way to go :D >
  
  I am a demi, so thats why I agree with you! I need to be friends before developing it more into something romantic/sexual.
  But I’m also aware that it’s not everyone way of doing things. As long as they develop their friendship too during the get to know each other phase, it doesn’t matter if they started off with a romantic/sexual relationship first. 
  There is no one size fit all answer to love and friendship. >
  
  I think it kinda boils down to the question, what was first, egg or chicken. You won't have full romantic relationship without sex and the same goes for lust based ones only.
  This is bit of a myth that you can grow yourself a partner, especially after teenage phase, so you either hit or not into someone compatible making it a luck game, requiring lot of volume to get some points. You can start with passionate sex and just score the best partner in the world or you can start with friendship and  never make it till some phase. >
  
  I disagree. The worst relationship i had was with my best friend. She and i were so fucking toxic to each other, that when we broke up and still had to see each other (Same group of friends), we had to wait 5 years until we were ready to be friends again. 
  To all my fellow guys, don't date your female best friend, you'll end up losing a good friend >
  
  That's why people not looking for a relationship don't want to hang out as platonic friends.
  Especially when a guy is saying "It's platonic, I just want to hang out as friends"
  Girls know the guy will eventually say they are dating. >
  
  Hubby and I were friends before dating and marrying. Married now 16 years and been through hell and back together. Still standing strong and in the words of my 11 year old “a thriving marriage” >
  
  My friend found his first girlfriend on Tindr and she was an abusive narcassist (he left her thank god)
  I was a platonic friend with my bf for 3 years before dating him, and we love each other so fucking much >
  
  Good for you!
  Nonetheless, all scenarios exist around the same percentage:
  - starting as friends becoming good romantic
  - starting as friends and not being good romantic partners
  - starting as a date/lust and becoming good romantically
  - starting as a date/lust and it does not work out >
  
  Not the same percentage, OP is right that you'll find a fulfilling relationship more often in person and starting off as friends. >
  
  Not that I don’t believe you, but do you have a source?
  The best relationships I know are from people in the middle: dating, never knew (or interacted with) each other but taking it slow. People who jump too quickly end up fighting, and the people who were friends for so long do manage, but at the end it seems they do divorce because the spark is gone
  Again, got no proof for that. Just what it seems >
  
  You're asking me for sauce and yet you have failed to provide sauce yourself for your claim that all relationship types are equally occuring. You can only make a subjetive opinion on the matter and our views will be completely different because experiences are uniaue to the individual.
  People who enter marriages quickly end up leaving soon because they failed to know each other better. But instead of dating, they could've literally been friends for a long time and that qualifies for 'getting to know each other' and so jumping into marriage might end up being long term. I guess its dofferent for everyone, but I always wanted to meet my partner in real life either at study or work because I know we would be similar on those grounds. I did and I'm happy, and I'm happy because I got to know him more in the safe friendzone. It was a slow process but it was worth it. >
  
  They make for the most difficult breakups, too. >
  
  100%  
  Every single one of my exes was a friend at first >
  
  Completely the opposite in my opinion. Getting to know someone and having instant sparks and slowly falling in love as you get to know more about them is the best feeling in the world. Often times friends first also break up its just a lot more traumatic and you run a lot more risks about breaking up your friend group and stuff like that. >
  
  For me it doesn’t work like that.
  Once I put someone in the category of friend they never move from it. Most of the people have dated long term we had romantic chemistry immediately and slept together on the 1st or 2nd date. If it takes much longer than that then we probably don’t genuinely find each other attractive. I would say my limit would probably be 5 dates. >
  
  That's how it worked out for me. >
  
  I already knew all of those things about my wife because I was working a crap job for low pay when we met. The entire reason I went back to school was for her. It still took four more years to finish my degree and I didn’t have very much money or time between work and school. She stuck with me through those hard times. I didn’t have to just be her friend but she definitely let it be known that she wouldn’t marry me until I finished college. :) >
  
  Very true in my case. I didn’t notice him for years. Then we were just friends. Then best friends. Then best friends that say “I love you” to each-other. But finally i resized my true feelings. Ive been with him 2 long years. I wish I loved him sooner because he’s amazing. >
  
  Maybe, but I dont ruin friendships cuz they are valuable so no. >
  
  I agree, but also because I cannot develop feelings or a spark for someone without knowing them for a long time first. I have never just met a person and instantly had feelings for them. >
  
  I think for some people it’s hard to break out of the mindset once you become friends that this person is meant for friendship. After categorizing some people as friends and others as potential love interests, it’s hard to break that boundary in your head. >
  
  I dont like the way my friend smells. A relationship therapist says that’s Red flag. Not that they are bad there just won’t be any chemistry. >
  
  Nope. I've been married twice. The second time was a friend I'd known for 11 years. This is not my strongest relationship. >
  
  Not necessarily, I met my partner from a dating app and we have been going strong for 10 years now. We never knew each other previously >
  
  This may be true to an extent,but I really dislike how some people use being friends first as an ulterior motive,to get to a possible romantic relationship...not cool. >
  
  No. This type of shit is what leads mfs that you just want to be friends with to have some false ass hope for the future. I hate this and if someone just wants to be friends they just want to be friends. I'm not saying it never happens but 9/10 if you don't see them that way..... you never will >
  
  It's completely normal to go from friendship to dating and develop feelins for someone you get to know better, if you don't think it is, then I guess I'll stay the whole life single lol. 
  For some people it just works differently and they can't really be attracted to person that they don't even know and can only judge by looks basically >
  
  Who said I'm single? Lol dumb mf.... YOU are probably ugly, fat, or average looking. Everytime I ever befriend a dude. Every fucking time. They get obsessed and I end up having to stop being their friend completely because no matter how much I try to explain I don't feel that way. They literally can't grasp the fact that I will never share those feelings. Some of them try to force you to have those feelings back. It's just weird and disturbing that so many people can't just respect what's in another person's heart. If I don't like a dude I don't like him. Those feelings aren't going to magically develop some day. It's just fucking weird and creepy. If someone doesn't see you that way.....they don't fucking see you that way. >
  
  I think you don't mean the strongest but safest. All of the things you mentioned are found in long term partners of dating apps and such as well, but of course they also might not be.
  What you're describing is every long term relationship. The trust building, the friendship. And yes you don't always find that on dating apps vs being friends first. But dating apps offer you a large pool to chose from which is generally much larger than your friend group.
  But you also have to remember the downsides of dating a friend too. If it doesn't work out what happens to your friendship or friend group? Were you just friends to get close enough to date because that's kinda shitty. Not to mention it's hard to know if they're actually like you or don't want to lose a friend so go along with it. >
  
  I started dating my now wife after we were friends for four years. Sparks are overrated. >
  
  I wasn't looking for a relationship. Eventually it just happened. >
  
  I fell for my husband after being friends for seven months. I had no initial attraction to him, we were just in the same field in doctoral school and interacted a lot. I was actually in another relationship when I first met him. It wasn’t until we worked closely together and got to know each other on a deeper level months later that a spark started to form. After all those months, I suddenly felt such a deep attraction to him I couldn’t ignore it. 
  All of my previous relationships were like that too. I have never felt instant attraction to any person. It always had to grow with time. >
  
  Burying the lede, it’s just better than apps, which are fake as fuck and inflate your self worth. >
  
  I think this is very different for everybody. I've never gone from friends to romantic relationship, and I don't think I could ever do it. I really don't see how you can suddenly be attracted to someone. >
  
  I was good friends with my boyfriend before we started dating (met him at work) and after a couple of years and us both changing jobs it just clicked. I think for some people this can really work out. >
  
  My hubby & I worked together for a few years before we dated. It was cool and low pressure all the way through and the progression felt really natural >
  
  Nah. If I’m cool just being friends with someone then we don’t have that electric kind of chemistry. I’d rather have a guy who meets me and thinks “I want her” >
  
  I think it depends on the people but it can help. 
  My husband and I knew each other for 3 years before going on a date. After the first date, he moved in within a week, we were engaged after a month, and eloped about 7 months later. 18 years later, here we are. We did almost split up once, but instead worked harder on communicating. But one big difference is that we were in the Navy, so twice we were on the same 12 hour watch schedule for several months. Spending 12 hours with someone for so many days a week helps build a connection. >
  
  Not necessarily true. I met married my husband 9 months after first laying eyes on him (no, I wasn’t pregnant), and we are just about to hit the 15 year mark. From the moment we saw each other, there was undeniable fireworks. Even our coworkers commented on the chemistry, it was so palpable. I have never experienced such a strong attraction to someone; and it wasn’t strictly physical. I felt at home with him immediately, and it was like we had know each other for years. The physical was beyond intense. Of course 15 years later we aren’t fucking like we were in the beginning, but that attraction is still very much there. >
  
  I think it's mostly women that are averse to this kind of relationship in the first place, and for no good reason. That's why they're so uncommon. >
  
  Lol this isn’t true but
  Upvote fir unpopular >
  
  Suuuuure. Except, you are likely forever friend zoned because they only tolerate your red flags as a regular friend. >
  
  There's a reason bestfriends/childhood friends trope is super popular. But I feel as you said that the relationships would cool off, either for the better or for the worse. Idk, relationships (romantic or not) just work differently for everyone. >
  
  While I agree that a strong partnership has a strong friendship built in I see no reason why it has to start that way. Moreover, you can have a strong friendship that's quickly ruined once romance becomes involved. Finally, if you take 5 years to realize you don't like the person you're dating that a you problem. Seeing through infatuation to distinguish true compatibility is something that comes with experience. >
  
  My husband and I were platonic friends for 5 or 6 years before dating. On the flip side, my parents were set up on a blind date and got engaged after a year of dating. They are celebrating their 37th anniversary this year and are an absolutely wonderful example of a loving marriage. They each other’s best friend as are my husband and I. >
  
  I’m a lesbian, most women aren’t gay so I don’t meet and befriend many in my daily life. This means I have to use apps. Is what it is. >
  
  Lmao definitely did not start that way with my wife and I. We met at a party, and things progressed fast. We found we were great friends and compatible afterwards. I'd worry about the fear of "settling" on either side with friends. Every time I hear something like "I begged her to go out with me for years and she caved" don't scream solid foundation to me. A "friend" tried to get me to date her in college like this, but she had already destroyed any of the feelings I had had of long-term interest. People don't want to have to prod, beg, or convince someone to like them more than a friend. OPs not completely wrong but I'd love to see some statistics. Might depend on the individuals as well. >
  
  I'm sure it's true for some people but not for everyone. For all you know, the next person you could've met was the most romantic relationship. Also, romance is prettu subjective and doesn't define a good relationship. Friendship, stability, trust, humor etc. are way more important. >
  
  Idk the absolute love of my life who I plan to marry and have my children with was my manager at a movie theater job and we went from barely knowing eachother besides him occasionally telling me to do something, to suddenly talking till 4am every night, to having sex a week later, then me basically never leaving his house till we moved in together >
  
  Someone elderly who I respect a lot, is also a celebrity and a Richard Dawkins award holder recently said the exact opposite. He said good friends must never marry and that he has a few who he's been friends with for a long time, they'd do anything for him and he's glad he never married them because it wouldn't be the same. >
  
  I’ve only ever liked girls or dated girls that started out as friends because of this reason >
  
  I highly agree with this, it just makes so much sense >
  
  In my experience there has to be some kind of time window for this to be true. If you’re really good friends with someone for long enough then a possible romantic relationship seems awkward. You already know so much about each other that there isn’t a lot else to discover and everything you try feels kind of contrived. >
  
  The lazy approach, I see you OP. Getting together with a friend is comfortable, boring and ultimately lazy. Where’s the excitement of someone new? 
  Disagree but that makes it a decent unpopular opinion! >
  
  I usually agree with this sentiment, and I've definitely seen it work as my sister has told me that her relationship with her fiance started as like friends plus. However, to play devil's advocate, I've had friends who wouldn't date their close friends as they see them as "like a brother/sister" and certain people have relationships that can't exist past that "honeymoon phase" at the begin and they agree to go their separate ways. So, who knows what really works, it almost seems like sheer luck in a way as it varies so much. >
  
  My wife and I were best friends for almost a decade before we decided to date. People thought we moved fast when we moved in together after5 months, engaged in 8 and married in 18 months. This year we are celebrating 6 years of marriage and  couldn't be happier. I knew every deep dark secret about her before the thought of dating ever occurred, and she the same. >
  
  If the relationship ended as not platonic then it was never platonic >
  
  The two best relationships I had were with people who we lived together first, became friends, and then lovers, and then partners. They were really sweet relationships and I hold them close to my heart. 
  Because of this, my rule of thumb is friends first, lovers second and it’s never failed me. >
  
  What’s your relationship status now? How do you measure the success of a relationship? >
  
  Not for me, I've been with A LOT of people, I've dated a few as well. My current gf and future wife met when she came into my shop to get piercings done with her friends, she called the shop afterwards and we had sex the next day. We have been dating ever since ( 3 years ) and she Is the first woman I trust completely and feel comfortable and know I want to spend my entire life with her, my last relationship was 9 years, we were friends before that, the one before that was 6 years, also friends before. So, no, there really is no rules for making the "perfect relationship". My "one night stand" turned into the woman im going to spend my life with. Seems others have pointed this out as well. This is projection >
  
  Strong disagree. Platonic friendships lead to chemistry-less marriages. Was definitely not friends with my husband before we got married, fancied him too much and still do >
  
  I’m not sure this is an unpopular opinion…. >
  
  It neither popular nor unpopular. Some friendships work out romantically. Other people meet and they have been married 20+ years. No one is better >
  
  Is their proof because my evidence says every time u do that she cheats and you lose a good friend >
  
  It's a double edge sword I advice people from not doing friendship into relationship. Coz if break up happens you loos two people. Your GF and your bestfriend, which is the worst and it will be the most lonely and depressing time of your life. 
  I talk out of my experience, and I suggest if you can avoid don't mix friendships with romance it can happen if it does good luck to you and I hope it works. But if you have the choice don't. >
  
  is it weird that I don't believe that relationship between partners can ever be 100% platonic? it is not to disagree with your point, but the initial interest into the engagement must be as least sexual or romantic at some point. It is not to say that it is all that simple, but being a man and having 24/7 urges makes me question dudes who are just friends with female/they them counterpart. >
  
  Your urges are entirely your own >
  
  yes but my point is that in the heart any interaction that extends to the friendship department among opposite genders are usually have at least of a pretext of a romantic/sexual interest.
  the interplay of those tensions create the pretext for extending the relationship.
  it is not to say that while getting to know someone you might loose/ or lessen that desire and it can be replaced by the deep bond, but once that bond officially ends in sexual/romantic territory, you cannot agrue in good faith that you were "just" friends. >
  
  That big crazy love feeling is what attaches us to a person. It’s like a drug and our brain will remember what gave us that feeling while our hearts will tell the brain to keep pursing that person who gave us that good feeling, logical or not. When bad things keep happening in a relationship that good feeling gets over weighed by the bad and that this person is now seen as someone who causes bad feelings instead.. or danger in our brain. Some relationships work out some don’t, you have to remember we hear more about those that don’t then do.
  People who are strongly attracted to each other can’t be just friends, nature won’t allow it. They either stop being friends, set boundaries, or give in. I feel like those who started platonic friends means one usually likes the other more then the other does and is looking for security and safety more then chemistry and happiness. >
  
  Nah, for some of us to get that “in love” feeling we have to know someone for a long time. I never just meet someone and feel anything for them. It took me seven months of friendship to fall for my now husband, but when I finally did, it was every bit as powerful and very much that “drug addicted spark” feeling that you are describing. So I think we are all just different with this. >
  
  Took y’all 7 months to give in is all I’m hearing. You felt connection towards each other. >
  
  Nope, I legitimately was not interested in him in the beginning. I didn’t even find him physically appealing at first. Something changed once I started to interact more with him and got to know his mind over months.
  And every other relationship I’ve had has been the same. I have never once felt instant connection to a person. It always takes a long time for it to set in. I need that mental connection and build up. >
  
  That’s still the same thing to me. you got to know him even as friends you developed feelings for him.