comment: >
  
  and the dead come with it
context: Big meteorology doesn't want you to know how many more weeks of winter you'll have. >
  
  (Deep in the secret volcano lair of the Weather Syndicate)
  Hey, boss; the public is gonna want to know if 2023 will be an early Spring or longer winter.
  We need to keep them on their toes, unsure of the future and wether they should plan their family trip later or take down their storm windows sooner.
  But boss, the Groundhog is going to give them an answer.  Even if it turns out wrong, some people will still act on it.
  Then we need to silence this groundhog. I want him dead, but it needs to look like natural causes. >
  
  Groundhog dies from lightning, blizzard, monsoon, tornado, hurricane, heat wave, and flooding... natural causes.  Nothing to see here people. >
  
  In these troubling times, are you sure he did not fall from a window? >
  
  No, because fall starts in Setember. >
  
  Today's physics question: assume that Fall starts midnight first of September 2022, the groundhog falls out of the window. At that moment. At what height was the window for the groundhog to die of natural causes on impact on the night of 1st to 2nd of February 2023? Please explain your results. >
  
  How much weather could a groundhog weather if a groundhog could weather weather? >
  
  A groundhog could weather as much weather as a groundhog could if a groundhog could weather weather. >
  
  Whether or not the weather is weather or weather weather is irrelevant.  The groundhog is dead damn it! >
  
  Dooooooooooom >
  
  Eternal winter. >
  
  Fimbulwinter >
  
  Does that mean Kratos has killed Baldur? >
  
  But Baldur is blessed with invulnerability to all threats, physical or magical. >
  
  He is not invulnerable to mistletoe, which is what leads to his death in both the video game and in mythology. >
  
  Christmas is really stressful for him >
  
  TIL there are different regional groundhogs that do this and not just Punxsutawney Phil..
  Being from Pennsylvania I thought everyone just went off of what Phil predicted lmao
  Edit: apparently Ohio has one called Buckeye Chuck? What is even going on here?
  Edit2: Woodstock Willie from Illinois? There’s literally an entire groundhog celebrity universe that I guess I never knew about. Shoutout to all of you Canadians checking in with Balzac Billy and Lucy the Lobster. (Also thank you for Crosby and Lemieux, you are forever in my debt) >
  
  Not at all being Pennsylvanian, I thought the same. >
  
  Blame the movie >
  
  Which ironically was filmed in Illinois >
  
  In Woodstock IL, Woodstock Willie at least makes some sense. The rest are just pretenders >
  
  Hey we’ve been doing this weird tradition in PA since 1886! I’ll give Willie the #2 ranking though >
  
  No doubt! But if there were any other groundhog anywhere Woodstock is the only one that makes sense >
  
  Wait, so they DONT just pick up a random groundhog and ask for its opinion on the weather? >
  
  It's usually, like, a pet or something >
  
  I don't like that.  Feels like it could be manipulated with treats or something. >
  
  Have you ever tried pick up a random groundhog? >
  
  I like to meet my rodents through friends. >
  
  Wiarton Willie predicted an Early Spring, but Punxsutawney Phil said 6 more weeks of winter. Wonder what Shubenacadie Sam said? >
  
  In the article
  
  Shubenacadie Sam saw her shadow, meaning six more weeks of winter there as well, according to Global News. >
  
  Skimmed the article. Saw it was Fred la Marmote and missed that part. 🤦 >
  
  If a groundhog sees the shadow of Death what does that say about the weather? >
  
  Winter lasts forever? >
  
  The cold never bothered me anyway >
  
  Let it go >
  
  I feel like this is appropriate here... >
  
  I was hoping to learn the price of groundhog meat. >
  
  I dont think anyone finds this funny unless they were their contemporaries.
  Like a discount Monty Python but somehow worse. >
  
  We had, for whatever reason, a set of their tapes in the 90s, so it ends up having nostalgia value for me. Also, our whole family liked deadpan stuff.
  If I remember right, the groundhog bit was interspersed through a far longer episode, with several 'updates' and 'corrections'. Better as a running gag than standalone.
  Edit: looking it up, a bunch of their stuff was riffs of contemporary shows, so a lot of the context would have been lost on me. >
  
  r/notthebeaverton >
  
  Honestly I thought this was about Wiarton. They had a groundhog die right before Feb 2. They ended up doing some macabre celebration instead with a little coffin. Also a few years later when they opened up the den in the spring 2 of the 3 that lived in the den were murdered. >
  
  Bill Murray laughing >
  
  Aw crap. We're one of the written off timelines >
  
  makes sense, really >
  
  He drove angry >
  
  Does anyone know the location of Bill DeBlasio on the day in question? >
  
  Got the message… Apocalypse it is >
  
  Says. Austin Tx. >
  
  I guess Phil Connors got there first. >
  
  There is no way that this winter is ever going to end as long as this groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don't see any other way out. He's gotta be stopped. And I have to stop him. >
  
  So he didn't see his shadow then.  Excellent. >
  
  That happened last year to a groundhog in New Jersey too. >
  
  That’s…umm…ominous >
  
  We have predicted: nuclear winter. >
  
  Aw man, that’s a goocher >
  
  Winter is coming....