comment: >
  
  Do we suspect foul play?
context: Big meteorology doesn't want you to know how many more weeks of winter you'll have. >
  
  (Deep in the secret volcano lair of the Weather Syndicate)
  Hey, boss; the public is gonna want to know if 2023 will be an early Spring or longer winter.
  We need to keep them on their toes, unsure of the future and wether they should plan their family trip later or take down their storm windows sooner.
  But boss, the Groundhog is going to give them an answer.  Even if it turns out wrong, some people will still act on it.
  Then we need to silence this groundhog. I want him dead, but it needs to look like natural causes. >
  
  Groundhog dies from lightning, blizzard, monsoon, tornado, hurricane, heat wave, and flooding... natural causes.  Nothing to see here people. >
  
  In these troubling times, are you sure he did not fall from a window? >
  
  No, because fall starts in Setember. >
  
  Today's physics question: assume that Fall starts midnight first of September 2022, the groundhog falls out of the window. At that moment. At what height was the window for the groundhog to die of natural causes on impact on the night of 1st to 2nd of February 2023? Please explain your results. >
  
  How much weather could a groundhog weather if a groundhog could weather weather? >
  
  A groundhog could weather as much weather as a groundhog could if a groundhog could weather weather. >
  
  Whether or not the weather is weather or weather weather is irrelevant.  The groundhog is dead damn it! >
  
  Dooooooooooom >
  
  Eternal winter. >
  
  Fimbulwinter >
  
  Does that mean Kratos has killed Baldur? >
  
  But Baldur is blessed with invulnerability to all threats, physical or magical. >
  
  He is not invulnerable to mistletoe, which is what leads to his death in both the video game and in mythology. >
  
  Christmas is really stressful for him >
  
  TIL there are different regional groundhogs that do this and not just Punxsutawney Phil..
  Being from Pennsylvania I thought everyone just went off of what Phil predicted lmao
  Edit: apparently Ohio has one called Buckeye Chuck? What is even going on here?
  Edit2: Woodstock Willie from Illinois? There’s literally an entire groundhog celebrity universe that I guess I never knew about. Shoutout to all of you Canadians checking in with Balzac Billy and Lucy the Lobster. (Also thank you for Crosby and Lemieux, you are forever in my debt) >
  
  Not at all being Pennsylvanian, I thought the same. >
  
  Blame the movie >
  
  Which ironically was filmed in Illinois >
  
  In Woodstock IL, Woodstock Willie at least makes some sense. The rest are just pretenders >
  
  Hey we’ve been doing this weird tradition in PA since 1886! I’ll give Willie the #2 ranking though >
  
  No doubt! But if there were any other groundhog anywhere Woodstock is the only one that makes sense >
  
  Wait, so they DONT just pick up a random groundhog and ask for its opinion on the weather? >
  
  It's usually, like, a pet or something >
  
  I don't like that.  Feels like it could be manipulated with treats or something. >
  
  Have you ever tried pick up a random groundhog? >
  
  I like to meet my rodents through friends. >
  
  Wiarton Willie predicted an Early Spring, but Punxsutawney Phil said 6 more weeks of winter. Wonder what Shubenacadie Sam said? >
  
  In the article
  
  Shubenacadie Sam saw her shadow, meaning six more weeks of winter there as well, according to Global News. >
  
  Skimmed the article. Saw it was Fred la Marmote and missed that part. 🤦 >
  
  If a groundhog sees the shadow of Death what does that say about the weather? >
  
  Winter lasts forever? >
  
  The cold never bothered me anyway >
  
  Let it go >
  
  I feel like this is appropriate here... >
  
  I was hoping to learn the price of groundhog meat. >
  
  I dont think anyone finds this funny unless they were their contemporaries.
  Like a discount Monty Python but somehow worse. >
  
  We had, for whatever reason, a set of their tapes in the 90s, so it ends up having nostalgia value for me. Also, our whole family liked deadpan stuff.
  If I remember right, the groundhog bit was interspersed through a far longer episode, with several 'updates' and 'corrections'. Better as a running gag than standalone.
  Edit: looking it up, a bunch of their stuff was riffs of contemporary shows, so a lot of the context would have been lost on me. >
  
  r/notthebeaverton >
  
  Honestly I thought this was about Wiarton. They had a groundhog die right before Feb 2. They ended up doing some macabre celebration instead with a little coffin. Also a few years later when they opened up the den in the spring 2 of the 3 that lived in the den were murdered. >
  
  Bill Murray laughing >
  
  Aw crap. We're one of the written off timelines >
  
  makes sense, really >
  
  He drove angry >
  
  Does anyone know the location of Bill DeBlasio on the day in question? >
  
  Got the message… Apocalypse it is >
  
  Says. Austin Tx. >
  
  I guess Phil Connors got there first. >
  
  There is no way that this winter is ever going to end as long as this groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don't see any other way out. He's gotta be stopped. And I have to stop him. >
  
  So he didn't see his shadow then.  Excellent. >
  
  That happened last year to a groundhog in New Jersey too. >
  
  That’s…umm…ominous >
  
  We have predicted: nuclear winter. >
  
  Aw man, that’s a goocher >
  
  Winter is coming.... >
  
  and the dead come with it >
  
  This groundhog did not kill itself. The deepstate didn't want him leaking this information. >
  
  Well fuck,  there goes all the toilet paper again... >
  
  Didn't I see this post yesterday? And the day before that? And the day before that? And the...
  Aight, I'm gettin the toaster. >
  
  Winter isn't coming, it's never ending. >
  
  He didn't collect enough rings 🥺 >
  
  That’s a hedgehog you fuck >
  
  Metaphor for 2023? >
  
  So if there is more than 1 groundhog, what happens when 1 sees it's shadow and the other does not? Do they cancel each other out, and we just get more global warming? >
  
  Technically, it doesn't need to be alive to cast a shadow. >
  
  Groundhog stays out? Spring!
  Groundhog goes back? Winter!
  Groundhog dies? NUCLEAR WINTER! >
  
  Chicken footprints were found at the scene.  Police suspect fowl play. >
  
  Global warming >
  
  Well that cant be good >
  
  That means Fimbulwinter is upon us >
  
  Does that mean he’s not coming on then? >
  
  Nuclear Winter incoming. >
  
  HE KNEW TOO MUCH. >
  
  That's not a good sign. >
  
  You had one job!!!! >
  
  He's only getting winters from now on. >
  
  There's your answer. >
  
  Fuckin cold, eh? >
  
  uh.... oh... >
  
  It was assassinated. It can't predict six more weeks of winter if it's dead.. >
  
  If you seen day after tomorrow, then you know what he’s predicting >
  
  That’s…. ominous >
  
  that means the apocalypse is coming, right >
  
  Right.  Ice age it is then! >
  
  I suspect murder... >
  
  Avian flu jumped from birds to minks to groundhogs? >
  
  It's officially been found in dead seals, otters, and foxes too. Groundhogs don't seem such a far leap... >
  
  That’s never a good sign. >
  
  So... Apocalypse right? >
  
  Oh shit that means nuclear winter >
  
  A dead hedgehog predicts the mass rise of the working class to consume the rich. >
  
  Died suddenly >
  
  He died because groundhogs not living in Punxsy and named Phil incur the wrath of the gods if they try to predict the timing of the seasons. >
  
  Well. He didn't see his shadow... >
  
  Maybe he committed groundhog suicide because he knows winter is going to be long and brutal and he can’t take it anymore >
  
  The final sign the Stanley Cup is returning to Canada. >
  
  Ah, so more winter, but to spice things up we'll be switching over to the nuclear variety >
  
  
  A group of children took Fred's place and predicted six more weeks of winter.
  
  Ahhh I was hoping they would say spring is coming in 6 weeks. Damnit. >
  
  Truly, it is the end of days. >
  
  Ohioan here, today is the first time I’ve ever heard of Buckeye Chuck, I thought everyone went off of Phil >
  
  Great. Eternal winter, just what we needed >
  
  So this probably isn't an omen. But sure looks like an omen. Maybe there will be no summer this year, or decade. >
  
  Winter will last until December this year >
  
  Well I guess it didn’t see it’s shadow then! >
  
  2 more weeks of face masks! >
  
  Hopefully no one drove 7 hours and waited 4 hours for this >
  
  Six more weeks of DEATH >
  
  The Canadian remake of Groundhog's Day is going to be lit 🔥 >
  
  It was a hit placed by Phil, there can be only one >
  
  It's collusion with big weather >
  
  Groundhog committed suicide, with two bullets in the back.
  Weather service was unavailable for comments. >
  
  Nuclear winter incoming >
  
  Canary in the coal mine >
  
  Punxsutawney Phil sends his regards…. >
  
  Predicting the apocalypse >
  
  I think that means 7 years of bad winter >
  
  The funny part is that there is a cold front coming here in quebec and the temperature forecast is like -50C with windchill tomorrow >
  
  Conspiracy by Big Winter >
  
  You are now entering the next ice age.  Congratulations! >
  
  It’s a Provincial tragedy >
  
  Wait, it's "Fred"?  That's just one of the backup groundhogs.  Wiarton Willie is the main one, and it looks like his current incarnation survived this year to predict an early spring. >
  
  Fred is from Québec. It's kinda ironic that you would call it "the backup". 
  Are you by any chance from GTA? >
  
  No, obviously I must be from Wiarton. >
  
  The Clinton’s got another one >
  
  Nuclear winter for 6 more weeks. >
  
  Nuclear winter it is I guess... >
  
  Nuclear winter it is then. >
  
  Died due to climate change.
  …that means Spring is coming tomorrow! >
  
  Thus predicting nuclear winter >
  
  If he felt off a window we’re getting 6 more weeks of Russian invasion. >
  
  I mean at 39% correct prediction rate, we were better off flipping a coin for better accuracy. This seems to just be a coin flip with extra steps, but at least it's a fun lil event. >
  
  Does that foreshadow a nuclear winter? >
  
  That means nuclear winter is coming. >
  
  Apparently we're getting an ice age. >
  
  Global warming warning... >
  
  That means more pandemic, hooray! >
  
  Does that mean loads more winter or loads less winter? >
  
  
  A group of children took Fred's place and predicted six more weeks of winter.
  
  It was prophesized in the beforefore time that the magic rodent would pass and that the harbingers of doom would replace him. Get ready for 6 more years of nuclear winter! >
  
  I guess no more winters!! 😂 >
  
  Canadian Weather reporter found assassinated in his home! News at 11. >
  
  Gee.  Anyone in the northern states or Canada—- y’all ever actually expect winter to end in February?  It’s not happening. >
  
  I heard august is the time to live there. >
  
  Groundhog looked at state of country and thought 'fuck this...' and died.
  Totally understandable response. >
  
  "Excellent job 47. Now find an exit." >
  
  noo :( >
  
  Eternal winter? >
  
  Oh shit, it was my turn to watch the groundhog. My b. >
  
  Sounds like the royal family had him killed to keep quiet. The secrets died with Fred. Or Fredrick as the Queen called him. >
  
  My favorite kind of omen >
  
  So technically, he won't see his shadow... ever. >
  
  Fuck the doomsday clock, this shit here is ominous. >
  
  Fucking winter cartel wanting to keep shit icy. >
  
  This ☝️ >
  
  Uncovered footage of how it went down. >
  
  You can't see your shadow if you are dead. Welcome spring. >
  
  So it's going to be bad, yeah? >
  
  Well, that can't be good. >
  
  Dozens of these poor creatures die every Feb 2nd for some bullshit made up prediction. 
  Rip Staten Island Chuck >
  
  Quebec is now in an ice age. >
  
  Must’ve been climate change >
  
  Sounds like a Psych! Plotline >
  
  Welcome to the Anthropocene >
  
  Did he shoot himself twice in the back of the head and then jumped out the window? >
  
  I guess he didn't see his shadow >
  
  We're going to get to -35C in the Maritimes in about 24 hours.
  Canada is upping its late winter game >
  
  Lazy groundhog has no sense of duty >
  
  Kind of fits with the theme of global warming, right? >
  
  It still has a shadow… so this just a minor setback! >
  
  The shadow comes for us all >
  
  The Long Night approaches >
  
  Canadian Groundhog didn’t kill himself >
  
  And when the crowd gathered to hear the groundhog's predictions they pulled a random child in a groundhog hat from the audience and had him decide. Apparently he chose six more weeks of winter. >
  
  Technically he did NOT see his shadow. >
  
  Death. He predicted we all will die.
  Technically the truth >
  
  Ah yes, the signal for the long night >
  
  Damn fentanyl >
  
  Welp, I guess we're all dead this year then. >
  
  Endless winter. >
  
  
  This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather. >
  
  Mildly inauspicious, not gonna lie. >
  
  eternal winter >
  
  He technically didn't see his shadow sooooooo.... >
  
  I’m picturing a town walking up to the square.  They collectively gasp and the camera cuts to a shadow gently swaying body with the unmistakeable shape of a groundhog (whatever that is).  It is framed in brand new sunlight and underneath it rests a note that says simply “can you see this shadow?” >
  
  Now how will I know how to dress these next six weeks???!!?!!!! I’m just going to take a chance everyday and wear either a summer outfit or winter outfit and see how I fare. >
  
  If seeing his shadow is bad then I guess entering the shadow realm isn't the best of news.. >
  
  What does seeing his Shadow versus not seeing it even mean? If you see Your Shadow during the day it means it's sunny. If you don't it's cloudy? So if it's a sunny day that means  more winter? >
  
  Well that can't be a good sign >
  
  When you hate your job so much that the very thought of going to work even one day of the year is unbearable. >
  
  RIP my brother. We salute your service. >
  
  Well folks it looks like six more weeks of Ragnarok, the groundhog has spoken >
  
  Looks like we’re entering a new ice age then >
  
  Groundhog : "I just can't." >
  
  does that count as not seeing its shadow? >
  
  Now is the winter of my discontent. 
  RIP >
  
  This is a bad omen >
  
  FUUUUUUCK NOOOOOO >
  
  That can’t be a good sign >
  
  So that means another term with Justin Trudeau? >
  
  This is the saddest and best news I've heard all day. Sad because of the cute lil groundpig ~~beaver~~.... But I also like winter a lot. >
  
  Groundhog, not beaver.  Beavers are several times larger than groundhogs and have that wide, flat tail :P >
  
  How will we predict the weather now? >
  
  This is an omen if I've ever seen one >
  
  That tracks with how things are going. >
  
  Eternity of endless winter. Our suffering will be unimaginable. Until it happens to us. >
  
  Oh jeeze I guess that means eternal winter. >
  
  👀 >
  
  Thanks, I hate groundhogs. >
  
  We didn’t have winter this year.  Which sucks because I thrive in the cold and can’t handle heat/humidity. >
  
  The end is coming >
  
  He was murdered, he knew too much >
  
  Six more weeks of global warming >
  
  6 more years of Winter! >
  
  First Epstein, now this. What secrets does he know? >
  
  Big winter doesn't want you knowing a thing or two, or asking questions. >
  
  Groundhog dieing means recession is coming 😂 >
  
  Eternal deepfreeze it is >
  
  This thread is such a bizarre read. I have no idea what is being said, and have no means to even understand it. >
  
  Plot twist: he was shot in the back >
  
  HAhahaha this must be a metaphor 
  I feel this in my bones, mr groundhog >
  
  Oh you innocent americans thinking one groundhog can predict all of north America. >
  
  BUT WHAT DO THE BEES SAY? Need to check with theangrybeekeeper brb >
  
  /r/antiwork >
  
  So 6 more weeks? >
  
  Fimbulvinter is upon us. The end times are upon us >
  
  Can't see your shadow of you're dead. >
  
  The Night King got to him first >
  
  what does that mean
  WHAT DOES THAT MEAN >
  
  Whelp, you know what that means... >
  
  Typical Canadians. Just can't handle the cold. >
  
  I didn't think of Canadians as wildlings til now. >
  
  It was an inside job. >
  
  I feel these vibes. >
  
  Headline makes it sound like the groundhog maliciously screwed us over. >
  
  Shit. That’ll be 2 more years of COVID… >
  
  Oh, so NUCLEAR Winter is coming 👌 >
  
  That means we have perpetual winter now. >
  
  It was probably terrified and had a heart attack >
  
  Well since the legend is, if a ground sees his shadow it’s 6 more weeks of winter.
  This groundhog will never see his shadow ever again, does that mean winter has been cancelled forever? >
  
  It ok he comes back to life and relives the day 30 times over....it all ends well. >
  
  Someone on the inside didn’t want the truth to get out. >
  
  Another one!? >
  
  Is this the same one that the husband took his wife to see since it was her favorite holiday?!? >
  
  He was moidured! >
  
  A murder cold case >
  
  That’s not a good sign. >
  
  He was an imposter anyways. The real one is in Pennsylvania. >
  
  So he didn’t see his shadow… >
  
  Ragnarok. The mouth of the wolf marks the end of the world >
  
  Bummer, eh? >
  
  Jack Frost's thugs at it again! >
  
  Poor Fred. He saw six more weeks of winter and gave up. :'( >
  
  For a minute I was scared for my provinces beloved Shubenacadie Sam 💖 >
  
  He doesn't see anything anymore.... >
  
  Couldn’t handle the pressure >
  
  Schrödinger’s winter? >
  
  I'll remember this when i read about confirmed nuclear detonations in Europe >
  
  waits for Jordan Peterson to tweet blame at Justin Trudeau or trans people
  Edit: Y'all who think I am joking he really does this shit. >
  
  Is that a bad sign? >
  
  Fell from his hotel window while he was vacationing near The Weather Channel HQ >
  
  To the man who ordered the hit that’s hysterical >
  
  I happen to think where the hell is a great funny, put more accurate than anything comment >
  
  It’s 2023 and we’re still looking for a furry animal to tell us whether window is going to be longer or shorter it’s just another way of making money originally it was for a festive fun time people get together and have a good time. Now it’s become dollars and sense as everything else in this life. >
  
  That cant be good…. >
  
  TlI understand him, they predict -48 °C tonight where I live in Canada! 
  It's -54°F for the one still under the imperialism system >
  
  So, I went to consult the Farmer's Almanac to see what this means, but there isn't a chapter on if the groundhog dies... >
  
  Damn, even the groundhogs are predicting climate change >
  
  My reaction >
  
  Groundhogs can't actually predict the weather. >
  
  He knew too much unfortunately... >
  
  Well, fuck. >
  
  "You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life." >
  
  White Walkers confirmed >
  
  The shot was fired from within the grassy hole >
  
  Deep state weather men are fighting back. >
  
  Well, he won’t be seeing his shadow again so that means we’ll never get winter again >
  
  Was it murder or suicide? >
  
  So this mean what we will be a The Day After Tommorrow world, on in a Waterworld world >
  
  Groundhog Day is void now. All bets are off >
  
  Maybe he died of sunstroke. >
  
  Canada’s died and Ohio’s refused to even come above ground so they had to use a stuffed animal stand in to do the prediction. >
  
  Fucking squirrels >
  
  Going to be dead ass cold in Canada, eh?