comment: >
  
  Butter, in fact, did not make it better
context: This is one of the most Wisconsin sounding titles I've ever seen >
  
  Needs an "ope" in there somewhere. >
  
  We live outside of Chicago and my son and I realized yesterday that we say Ope all the time after watching a Charlie Berenice video. >
  
  I used to be adamant most Minnesotans don't have an accent you can really hear until I realized when I talk shit it sounds like I'm playing beer league hockey in Saskatchewan. >
  
  Somehow, I read this in a Minnesotan accent, despite only hearing it once or twice in my life. >
  
  I'm convinced It's the easiest accent to pick up. I visit my family in Northern Wisconsin for like one weekend and I've got a thick accent for the next three weeks when I get home. Same with my mom but she grew up there so that makes more sense. I never lived there so I have no idea why it rubs off so easily. >
  
  Fortunately another fire in Maine caused a lobster holding tank to boil. >
  
  It’s like the story of Reese’s peanut butter cups, but tastier. >
  
  At first, I thought it would be a funny piece of history. I just felt sad and upset over the victims and the negligence leading up to the events. >
  
  Oh boy wait until you find out about the Bhopal disaster.
  It's both amazing and infuriating what companies will try to get away with in the name of cutting costs unless they're forced and handheld by the government every step of the way. >
  
  But toxic gas killing thousands is less funny than a flood of molasses >
  
  And the phrase molassacre writes itself. Literally the first word that ever popped in my head upon reading it. >
  
  Yes! I was going to say, they are fortunate it only melted and didn't ignite. Butter and similar fatty spreads are a very potent fuel source for flame. The Mont Blanc Tunnel fire, which killed 39, was caused by a truck of margarine. >
  
  See, that's the problem, they didn't use real butter. /s >
  
  Just keep pouring near boiling water down the pipes. That's what I did when an idiot roommate clogged a drain with bacon grease. >
  
  Add a little dawn in there. >
  
  Seconded, it needs to saponify. 
  Edit: I didn't know what saponify meant read below comments. >
  
  You would add lye for that. >
  
  Lye -- the crucial ingredient.  Ancient peoples found their clothes got cleaner if they washed them at a certain spot in the river.  WHY?  Because, human sacrifices were once made on the hills above this river. Year after year, bodies burnt.  Rain fell.  Water seeped through the wood ashes to become lye.  The lye combined with the melted fat of the bodies, till a thick white soapy discharge crept into the river. The first soap was made from the ashes of heroes.  Like the first monkeys shot into space. >
  
  
  The first soap was made from the ashes of heroes.
  
  Poetry >
  
  Sure is. Fight Club has an excellent screenplay. >
  
  
  which ultimately clogged the waterway despite crews' efforts to contain the spread >
  
  i can’t believe it….. >
  
  Breaking news it appears to not be butter >
  
  I can't believe it's hot buttah. >
  
  I’m dead. I’m alive again. Seriously has ANYONE told Lubalin?? 
  P.S. Lubalin’s music is awesome. >
  
  Is this available? >
  
  Yes it is >
  
  Please leave me alone, we are sleeping >
  
  ?? >
  
  Rather than continue to recreate this, I’ll just say that it cracks me up every time. Glad to see another Lubalin fan here. >
  
  My next reply was going to be “REMIX! Blue cheese has mold in it.” >
  
  Paula Deen would love this recipe. >
  
  "Just a touch of butter" ... /clogs city drains >
  
  butter >
  
  Bring in the dancing lobsters! >
  
  www.amandaplease.com >
  
  For a moment you had me thinking that the website was still up - I spent way too much time there as a kid >
  
  that website was actually up for years and years, I remember looking at it in like 2016, although all the links on the Wayback Machine are broken >
  
  And me without my dump truck full of popcorn. >
  
  This reads like a Plague Inc. headline >
  
  or a cookie clicker one. >
  
  When we have fires like this in Kentucky, bourbon flows into the rivers and at least has the decency to get the fish drunk before they die. >
  
  contain the spread
  i giggled at that one. >
  
  
  ...the Portage Fire Department, emphasizing that "the butter runoff and heavy smoke slowed access to the structure."
  
  I just can't imagine the unexpected joy at being the person to get to use the phrase "butter run off" in a serious news article. >
  
  It's not the first time that phrase has been used in our state.
  An even better one from the Madison butter fire:
  
  “I had butter in places a guy shouldn’t have butter by the end of that night." >
  
  Most WI headline ever. >
  
  That's just a load of rich creamery butter. >
  
  Will bring a bucket and ladle. >
  
  Yeah, came here to say this has happened before. It's that big white building by culver's on cottage Grove. Or was, before they rebuilt. >
  
  We called it Cottage Cheese road for quite a while. Also, everything that melted and pooled up went rancid and the area smelled terrible. >
  
  Mmmm gutter butter... >
  
  Read this in Homerese. Excellent. >
  
  My dads from here he said he used to work here too!  The name Portage refers to Lewis and Clark having to traverse the Fox and Wisconsin rivers.  It was considered for state capital at one point. >
  
  
  My dads from here he said he used to work here too!  The name Portage refers to Lewis and Clark having to traverse the Fox and Wisconsin rivers.  It was considered for state capital at one point.
  
  It was Jacques Marquette and Louis Jolliet in 1673, but the rest of that is accurate. They were exploring the Mississippi/ western Great Lakes. It is said that the just under 2 mile Portage between the two rivers was the only time they had to cross land the entire trip. >
  
  "We need 50,000 lobsters, stat!" >
  
  I know we’re not supposed to cry over spilled milk, but what’s the protocol for butter? >
  
  Is there another sub for headlines that are just really American? >
  
  If there is, I need to know >
  
  Ope, it died of clogged arteries. >
  
  Uff da >
  
  Like human arteries. >
  
  Nah, modern nutritional science doesn't really support that. People used to think fats, grease, & oils clog your arteries because they clog drains. But it doesn't work like that. Your arteries aren't sewage drains, and you body doesn't pump that stuff directly into your bloodstream, it gets broken down & digested & refined for nutrients first.
  Very similar to the conventional wisdom that "fat makes you fat," when more modern diets are discovering that no, actually it's carbs that make you fat. 
  Our digestive system isn't just some funnel that just passes everything through that we give it. Our digestive system is an advanced chemical factory, producing specialized chemicals to break down other chemicals into nutrients, over many phases. And that's also why it's so hard to figure out: yesterday's conventional wisdom is today's bad science. >
  
  Excess calories make your gain weight. On avg, Fat is 9cal/g while carb is 4. If you eat the same amount of fat and carb, fat still make you "fatter". I think the notion of carb makes you fat is maybe because people can overeat carb more easily than fat. >
  
  Sure, but that's part of a diet too. Carbs are easier for the body to process into energy, so they get processed first, and any leftover energy gets stored as fat. Your body has the DNA to know how to create enzymes that process carbs, fat, & protein, but because of "genetic expression" your body will train itself to your diet: if you eat a lot of carbs, your digestive system will optimize itself for processing carbs, not fat.
  So low carb diets intend to actually shift your whole metabolism from being a carb-burner, to a fat-burner. And here comes the important difference: carbs are easier to convert to energy, but it's not long lasting. They create a temporary spike in your blood sugar that falls off quickly. Fat on the other hand, while harder for your body process, burns slowly. Not spiking your blood sugar but giving a long, slow release of energy. When you hear people say, "I'm starving!" or "man I pushed lunch off for too long, I gotta go eat right now or I'm going to pass out," it's likely because their body is tuned to be a carb-burner, their blood sugar is dropping, and their stomach wants more carbs.
  So a side effect of a high-fat, low-carb diet is actually being less hungry throughout the day, and having more stable energy. But the "low-carb" part of it is essential, that's probably why earlier high-fat diets like Atkins failed.
  And finally, about calories: yes calories are important. And yes, counting calories can help you lose weight. But it's not the only way. The low-carb diets I described aren't based on counting calories at all, you eat as much as the approved foods as you want when you're hungry. And people lose weight doing it. There's an old story about a guy who so wanted to prove that "calories are all that matters," so he made himself a challenge to eat nothing but Twinkies for about a month. And he did in fact lose weight once it was all over. But I don't know a single person who would call that "healthy". There's a difference between a healthy diet and "losing weight". There's many things you can do to lose weight that aren't exactly healthy: freezing your fat cells to destroy them so they don't grow anymore, surgeries, etc. To me losing weight should be all about getting more healthy. Some people think of diets as a temporary thing to lose weight and then abandon forever. But to me it should be about lifestyle change, that keeps you healthy for the rest of your life. >
  
  I feel like you’re either obese or absurdly jacked with no possibility of in between lol >
  
  Lol, I'm right in between. I've got a bit of a belly, and some love handles that are becoming noticeable. But, idk pretty average besides that. I wear somewhere between a L and XL t-shirt size. >
  
  If those are North American shirt sizes with your body description that most likely places you in the overweight-obese zone. >
  
  I'm a bit overweight, yes. But not obese. I've got maybe, 20-30 lbs. to lose? >
  
  I’m not a huge fan of the BMI but for average people it works well enough and according to that you are in the upper limits of overweight trending on obese unless you are over 6ft tall. >
  
  6ft 1in
  Edit: Even if I had my perfect "slim" body, I'd likely still be a Large. I'm a fairly big dude. So actually I have to ask, how did you calculate my BMI without the 2 most important factors, height & weight? You still only have one of those.
  Another question, why are we even talking about this? If I was a big fat dude, or a super fit dude, you wouldn't believe any of the nutritional science I brought up? Or if I'm neither of those? >
  
  They need Drain-O by the rail tank car and fast! >
  
  I was so sure it was going to be cheese >
  
  Now all we need is a professors house, a big ball of popcorn, and a laser! >
  
  God fucking damnit you guys, we all promised to cool it with the dairy shit this year.