comment: >
  
  “Oops I cheated, my bad won’t happen again.”
  How is cheating so minor to you? It’s the act of pursuing intimacy with another individual while in a monogamous relationship? That’s like the one thing that defines monogamy. It’s much different compared to like missing a goal in football or something.
context: I've never met anyone who forgave cheating that didn't end up getting cheated on again. >
  
  A good friend of mine cheated on his girlfriend, he came clean. They stayed together and she cheated on him with her ex. I don't have a lesson here, I just find it ironic and he totally deserved it. >
  
  If he came clean, and the other party accepted and agreed to continue is that really "deserving it"? >
  
  People really need to learn the difference between "bringing the consequences down upon yourself" and "deserving the consequences".
  Nobody deserves to be cheated on, but someone who stays with a partner who has cheated on them in the past really can't blame anyone but themselves if they get cucked a second time by that person. >
  
  George W. Jr. said it best..."Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice..err uhh..never get fooled again."  Or something.  Jokes aside, I'm picking up what you're putting down. >
  
  Fool me once, shame on…. Shame on you. Fool me you can’t get fooled again. 
  Those were his words if I remember correctly from listening to no role modelz enough. >
  
  Fool me 3 times, fuck the peace sign >
  
  Idk if that next line is appropriate by Reddit standards 😂 >
  
  My friend had a boyfriend who cheated on her and she gave him another chance. Take a wild guess what happened next. >
  
  They saved a ton on their auto insurance? >
  
  i barked laughter so loudly/suddenly at this that my wife is staring daggers at me for startling her, and the cat (asleep in my lap a moment ago) is now missing 
  thanks a lot, homewrecker >
  
  The cat ran away cuz he heard you barking duh >
  
  "The only thing worse than a loser... Is a loser-in-denial." -unknown, probably >
  
  I find it so hard to cheat, though. Kissing is a choice. Touching is a choice. Going back to their room is a choice. If alcohol was involved, there can be a conversation. But most of it isn't the alcohol. >
  
  i don’t even think alcohol is an excuse, I’ve been absolutely shit face drunk and the only person I think about and wanna be with is my boyfriend. >
  
  I have been shit faced drunk also. Using it as an excuse for anything…..is not a good enough explanation or reason to do something you will later regret. You are responsible for your actions before, during, and after you become inebriated. >
  
  I'm not trying to make excuses for cheaters because I don't support that shit 
  That being said, alcohol literally depresses the area of your brain that is responsible for controlling your inhibitions. That's why people have more confidence when they've had a few, or why difficult situations or conversations can be made easier after a couple. Some people have a tighter grip on themselves when they have a few, some people literally turn into entirely different people when they're drunk. >
  
  Exactly, be in a safe place when figuring out what happens to you then make plans, or decisions before hand. A lot of people decide it is not worth it. You do not have to be drunk to have a good time. If I don’t want to be drunk I’ll volunteer to be DD or w.e but yeah. Saying I was drunk so I did x,y,z is not an excuse for me. >
  
  How is a conscious decision to betray your partner and fuck someone else, a mistake? >
  
  I agree. OP really found an unpopular one. >
  
  It’s not even unpopular, It’s just stupidly misinformed. I wouldn’t be surprised if OP was under the age of 18 >
  
  Or OP is a cheater himself. > >
  
  It's not to say it's impossible to recover but it's almost not worth it because there is forever a tear no matter how much you sew the hole. There is a gentleman, John Gottman, who made the three keys to fixing a relationship after cheating. Atonement, Attune, Attach. These can only be done with a mature partner, someone who is willing to take the blame and be better about it. Because the first step is to not make excuses and know they messed up, a lot of people can't admit that or sit there while their partner tells them how they messed up. 
  Either way, I couldn't, my trust is never regained. It takes both partners to make it work and I'd never love them the same again. Be too busy mourning the man I thought they were. >
  
  Exactly. I believe the only recovery that happens is on the cheater’s end. >
  
  
  why i would not end an other good and healthy relationship.
  
  Clearly it's not a good and healthy relationship if someone cheats >
  
  I had a boyfriend once who when I joked and said “you’d never cheat on me right?!” Refused to tell me he wouldn’t, saying men cheat and they cheat when they are happy in relationships too.   I broke up with him the next day. >
  
  tf... so prob his dad told him that >
  
  People don't cheat by mistake, they do it intentionally.  The fact that only one incident of your partner cheating on you is the only one you know of doesn't mean it's the only time they've cheated on you.  And I wouldn't say that a relationship in which there was cheating is an example of a "good and healthy relationship." >
  
  And just because you've never caught your partner cheating, doesn't meant that they haven't in the past or continue to do so in the present. >
  
  Yes, I know - I never said it does. >
  
  Less about trust. More that they don't respect you. I'd never date someone who didn't respect me. >
  
  Yeah and I think most cheaters have a pretty low self esteem and self respect. >
  
  This is it. People think most cheaters are doing it just because they're selfish. They are selfish, but the bigger issue IMO is the low self-esteem, lack of self-respect, and self-worth. The reason is not "I was horny" because you have your partner for that. There's an underlying issue that is often not discussed. Cheating is generally viewed at a surface level. >
  
  While the betrayal of trust is bad enough on its own, it's the blatant disrespect of it that drives it home. 
  Also, if they "get away" with cheating the first time, they're likely to do it again. I've been cheated on, and it's something I will never abide. >
  
  Low self esteem post >
  
  While i agree that cheaters can change. Forgiving cheating is actually lowering their chances of learning from their mistakes.
  People don't typically change bad behaviors unless they actually face consequences from said behavior. This is the reason why people who cheat on their partners and are forgiven usually do it again.
  When you let go of cheating in a relationship, you're letting your partner know there are no repercussions for their actions, that all they have to do is grovel a bit, and all will be forgiven.