comment: >
  
  It’s a thoughtful suggestion but my kids are both still too young to engage in much I’d like to do and what I really need is time to myself, not more activities with my kids.
context: I think it mostly comes down to making you interesting/ different to a person allowing for conversation and a potential connection to happen and making it so you aren’t relying on them for happiness. >
  
  I agree with this. 
  If someone doesn't have a hobby or an interest in something then what am I suppose to talk about with them. >
  
  Yes this is a struggle for my husband and i since i used to have soooo many hobbys and interests but since i have 2 kids who are 2.5 years and 6 months old, now i dont have time for any of it. Im boring and its a struggle to find things to talk about since he still has his hobbies and interests. Its by choice though since they wont be little for long and I'll be able to rediscover myself outside of motherhood in 2 or so years. He understands and doesnt fault me for wanting to make these babies my whole life while they are little and we look forward to meeting the new version of myself in a couple years once the babies are older. >
  
  Balance is key.   Be careful of the oxytocin trap and remember that you can throw yourself and your love at your kids but you still need to have your own interests.
  As an outsider it doesn't seem fair your husband still has his and you have 0. >
  
  She clarified it was by choice. As long as they came to an agreement in a healthy way I don’t see an issue in her wanting to spend her free time with her kids. I also can’t blame the father for wanting to continue his hobbies. As long as their both happy with their choices and each other’s choices what difference does it make? >
  
  Both of them agreeing on it doesn't make it healthy. It's generally not a good idea to make your children you're entire life for an extended period of time, even for a few years. This isn't good for the parent's mental health nor is it good for the child. >
  
  I didn't even mention hobbies >
  
  The topic at the point I replied was about a woman consciously choosing to only focus on her kids and not have anything outside them for approx. 5 years. All I'm saying is that the parents agreeing to her doing that doesn't mean it's not unhealthy. People agree to do unhealthy and harmful things all the time. >
  
  I might be wrong, but isn't a hobby any recreational activity that you enjoy? Reading can be a hobby, watching a TV series, running, hicking, all those can be hobbies. >
  
  Yess literally anything is a hobby so if you dont have one its just a red Flag because it mean you can not gain motivation to do ANYTHING instead of scrolling on Tiktok or Sleeping. Cooking is a hobby, playing games is a hobby, any instrument, reading etc. >
  
  "Anything that people do for enjoyment or recreation is a hobby! People need to stop hating. EXCEPT TIKTOK FUCK YOU!!!!"
  Ok guy, maybe practice what you preach >
  
  Dude tiktok cmon xd its just hours of watching random videos with no context >
  
  As opposed to TV or movies? >
  
  There is effort put into movies and tv. Many people involved to make that story happen from actors, writers, directors, prop people, sound design etc. Now try comparing that to a fucking tiktok. Usually a minute long clip on a scratched up IPhone from drunk and under aged Melanie with her tits out or ass in the air or something. Its a fucking bullshit, non existent comparison. >
  
  Dang you must be telling on yourself if your algorithm is showing you underage girls with their tits and ass out. Should I alert the authorities?
  Mine shows nothing like that, but shows funny videos and thoughtful discussion about sports, politics, religion, etc. I like tiktok because (similar to YouTube) it allows anyone to share their thoughts or comedy sketches or art. You don't need access to a production studio
  And if the bar is many people putting effort into something, is America's funniest home videos not a TV show? It's basically just a bunch of Tiktok-style videos strung together. Is stand-up comedy not viable entertainment? It's just one person up there talking. Also a lot like a lot of Tiktoks >
  
  I only have TikTok so I can open embedded links to things posted there. It's definitely full of mindless nonsense, tits and ass by default. Never tried to attempt to teach the algorithm to avoid the things that dominate TikTok. Maybe it's gotten better as they've increased the max length of videos, but when it first blew up and they were 60 secs or less it was garbage. Btw, if someone says 'there's too much sexualized children content', 'fuck you pedophile' is a response worthy of tiktok's reputation for stupidity. >
  
  Every embedded link you open is training the algorithm so if you only watch cringe posted to reddit for bashing then your feed will resemble that. >
  
  Usually sports clips, guess barely dressed women is part of that demo's likely watch history >
  
  A hobby doesn’t need to cost money. >
  
  Don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's FUN costs AT LEAST eight dollars. >
  
  In my socialist country Germany we have free hobbies. 😂 >
  
  Exactly >
  
  I consider it a red flag for the opposite reason. If you have no hobbies you have too much time for a significant other. I need alone time, if it's gonna work with someone they need to have their own activities to do. It's nice to do things together but not constantly. >
  
  I relate to this a lot. “I love you and it’s great doing things together, but could you go away for a bit? To be clear, I very much want you to come back, just not for a while.”
  Also known as “missing you is so hard, because you won’t go away.” >
  
  If you do literally anything other than the bare minimum required to keep you alive and do your job, you have a hobby. Maybe your hobby is working out, maybe it's staring at the wall, maybe it's fucking around on reddit. Shit, watching incel videos on YouTube is a hobby. 
  But if you have NO hobbies, you just do the bare basics and nothing else, fuck yeah I don't want to be around you. That's super weird and shows me you have no desire to be a person. >
  
  If someone says “working out” is a hobby I would think they are vain gym junkies.
  I go to the gym daily; but I’d never call it a “hobby” as I don’t enjoy it at all and see it more as a chore. It would be like saying my hobbies include “cleaning my apartment”. >
  
  You can enjoy the activity of working out at the gym without it being about vanity. 
  Whilst I do want to look better, that's not my main motivation or reason for enjoyment of working out. The actual activity releases endorphins and it feels good to do physically intensive things after a day behind a desk. >
  
  I never had working out release endorphins for me. Working out just makes me feel awful. I hate doing it. Only reason I force myself to do is because I want to make myself look better. >
  
  Do you get endorphins from other exercise? >
  
  No. >
  
  K. I’ll bite. Most people who don’t have hobbies are considered dull. Sure there are some VERY expensive hobbies.  But there are a ton of hobbies that are free/extremely cheap
  Reading (library)
  Running (just go outside)
  Drawing (it’s just paper and pencil) 
  Learning new languages (Duolingo is free) 
  And that’s just off the top of my head
  Hell you could even call yourself a gamer with just playing free cellphone games. 
  A hobby is a means to get better at something.. 
  The problem with not saying you don’t have a hobby basically says you have no interests and you don’t want to be better. 
  When I used Tinder and a guy didn’t have any interests they were soo dull and there was nothing I could grasp at and relate to even start a conversation. 
  At the end of the day you are shutting doors and telling people they can’t relate to you, therefore in turn people show as much interest in you, as you do on (bettering) yourself.
  Hope this helps >
  
  Bird watching (go outside)
  Volunteering (go outside)
  Singing
  Playing the spoons
  Organizing random store shelves
  Literally anything can be a hobby, what makes it a hobby is “does it make you happy? Do you like to do it often? Its a hobby”
  Shit, the running joke for some is, “Ive made a hobby of sleeping” SLEEPING CAN BE A HOBBY. 
  There’s so many different ways to enjoy sleeping that one can practice >
  
  Sleeping is definitely not a hobby >
  
  Seriously, it’s a basic human function. Everybody does it, because everybody needs to do it. It’s like saying eating is a hobby. Like damn, if it ain’t most peoples too. >
  
  Plenty of hobbies don't require money >
  
  Even when I was little and my parents were poor my mom still found a way to make activities enjoyable. She cooked with what we could afford and made it a fun activity on weekend nights. She picked up some cheap fabric markers from the thrift store and showed us how to decorate our plain clothes so that we could personalize them. I’m pretty sure her first guitar was bought from a thrift store, she used the $1 sale books to teach herself the best she could, and she loved it. 
  My mom, me and my siblings are fortunate to be living in middle class class now. My mom now has the money to PURSUE her hobbies and make money from doing what she enjoys. However, that doesn’t mean she didn’t enjoy them when we were living poorly. 
  Years of extravagant art on tee-shirts turned into beautiful watercolour paintings. Weekends of creative pizza nights turned into even more delicious meals. Nights of plucking an untuned, old guitar but still making it sound beautiful turned into playing even more beautifully with a newer guitar.
  I’m happy, and very fortunate my mom found happiness within a man who treats her well, and that we escaped a bad situation. I’m happy that the hobbies she had grew, because she was financially capable. 
  However, I still have those full-shirt doodles made with a shitty thrift store felt, which I wore with pride and joy believing my mom was the best artist in the world. I still miss the pizza nights, where my mom used the cheapest, low-quality items, yet everytime it tasted amazing. I still miss the occasional screech of the untuned guitar because my mom didn’t know how to pluck properly.
  All these things made me look up to my mom, she made it feel like we weren’t poor.
  Hobbies are still hobbies, even if you don’t have adequate funding. >
  
  That's a beautiful story! I'm happy that you are good now. >
  
  What do you do in your spare time that isn't considered a hobby? If your entire life is work + family that honestly sounds miserable >
  
  You never watch tv? Go for walks? Anything?
  If your life is work, chores and sleep, I'm not gonna date you. We would have nothing in common, I could never be with a person who can live so boring life. >
  
  My guess is the issue here is definition of hobby. If in my spare time I watch TV, read a little, play video games, etc. are those hobbies? Where is the line between causal activities and hobby? I see hobby as things someone is really excited about, dives deep into, that makes them happy. I’m happy  no matter what. I fill time with things but I don’t have a passion for something. >
  
  Yes those are hobbies. For me hobbies are something you regularly spend your free time with, things you choose to do, not things you have to do. >
  
  People without hobbies tend to be the most basic and boring people. Having a hobby makes you interesting and gives you something to talk about >
  
  lol what…maybe you just enjoy socializing instead of doing random shit by yourself.  Like I don’t have hobbies, but I love getting dinner and drinks with friends, keeping myself healthy, and relaxing.  Like some people just aren’t into particular niche things.
  Edit: Only in reddit would I get downvoted for saying I prefer socializing to personal hobbies.  Smh… >
  
  Doesn’t have to be niche. Could be something like you listed. Like keeping yourself healthy, going to the gym, going on walks, bike rides, etc are keeping yourself healthy. >
  
  Having free time and having money are two very basic things that most people are looking for in a date. Also it shows you have a passion for something which makes you interesting >
  
  What do you do for fun OP? There you go, that's your hobby. >
  
  One of op's hobby may be writing Reddit posts! >
  
  You thought you ate didn’t you?😂 >
  
  It...kinda is. Like, if I asked someone I was dating what they enjoy doing and they said "nothing" I'd be super concerned for them. Like, you have no passions in life...nothing that brings you joy? Like...NOTHING? >
  
  I don't know if I just have a more loose definition of "hobby" that other people do, but if someone told me they didn't have a hobby I'd probably just immediately think they were lying or didn't want to disclose what it was.
  If someone doesn't have any hobbies, what do they do with their free time? Just sit somewhere, blankly staring into the middle distance? >
  
  Different definition. I see hobby as something you have a passion for. I have many things I like to do or get enjoyment from. None stick out. None are a passion. >
  
  Yeah like I watch TV almost every day but very rarely am I passionate about it. I just watch it to pass the time after work and before bed.. >
  
  When ever I’ve told someone to get a hobby it’s cause they have a lot free time any just kinda sit around not doin too much. Also not all hobbies are super expensive like I have a buddy who just reads like a full length book every two days or so. >
  
  Throw your stale bread outdoors and watch the birds fight over it. Congratulations you're a birdwatcher! >
  
  I used to think this and when I met my fiancé I thought the same thing. She doesn’t have a hobby. She works and then comes home and chills. Every now and then she will go out with her friend. She goes to the gym daily but that’s about it. 
  But as I saw her more and more I realized what she does in her free time doesn’t really matter to me. We get a long great, never even so much as argue, and whatever I do she’s more than willing to come and give it a shot and have fun. I can’t imagine having not given her a chance because she doesn’t like to go bowling or biking as a hobby or something. >
  
  If all you do is scroll on your phone and your only source of fulfillment is a romantic partner you come off as boring and needy.  I'm not saying that anyone without a hobby is boring and needy, but it raises concerns.  What are we going to talk about?  Are they going to give me a moments' peace to spend time doing MY hobbies?  Or are they going to be so bored from their lack of interest in anything other than a romantic partner that the pressure is going to be on me to constantly entertain them? >
  
  Valid >
  
  Just tell them your hobby is not having a hobby >
  
  If your hobby is not having a hobby, you're really bad at your hobby >
  
  Idk LOL, if my hobby is not having a hobby- - I think I have perfected my hobby >
  
  I’m not sure how a person doesn’t have a hobby. What are you doing in your free time? Sleeping? That’s a hobby >
  
  Sleeping is something humans simply need to survive. Don’t think it’s a hobby. In that case you could consider breathing a hobby. >
  
  Yea you sleep at night or whenever your normal time is but if all you want to do is nap in your free time then I’d say it’s a hobby. Your choosing to spend you time doing that instead of other things >
  
  Those people are hella boring or clingy in my own experience. They either have nothing going on except for work and sleep, or have plenty of time but they rely on you to spend it with (which can get annoying if you have hobbies). >
  
  Not having hobbies is definitely not a 🚩. Its just boring talking to a person about generic things like politics and the weather. Having hobbies like playing video games, watching anime, drawing, writing, exercising, etc makes a person a hell of alot more interesting. Naturally a person without a hobby is gonna have a rough time making friends or finding a long lasting relationship. It is what it is. >
  
  I have ADHD I'm interested in a variety of things, but I wouldn't consider myself a hobbyist for the sole reason that I just can't stay into the same thing for a long time >
  
  Who are you hanging out with that believes that? I'd stop hanging out with them. I've never heard of such a concern. >
  
  Writing, for example, costs you almost nothing. >
  
  If you have no hobby/passion I'm sorry but that's just really sad and boring >
  
  "I can't do my hobby, i have no money/time" is just a lazy excuse by people who don't want to admit they have nothing to do in life >
  
  If you don’t have money for a hobby you shouldn’t be in a relationship imo. If you can’t afford a hobby for yourself how will you afford to put effort into the relationship? >
  
  Absolutely. I don't have one. What do I have?
  A special needs 8 year old that takes up every second of every moment I'm with him. And then I'm so physically and emotionally exhausted after dealing with him when I do get a break, I just want to relax and be brain dead for a bit. >
  
  Your situation is quite unique to be fair. I wouldn’t consider that a red flag. If someone did have time on their hands and had no real interests or hobbies then that’s different >
  
  My husbands hobby is me. >
  
  I think we need to expand our idea of what a hobby is and not be judgmental about certain things. Watching TV/movies is a hobby, as is playing video games. And they're great hobbies
  Hobbies are anything you do for recreation or enjoyment, imo. If you don't have one, that's sad because that means you're either working or doing chores, errands every waking moment and have no time for yourself or else you're depressed and just stare into the void in your free time >
  
  I take it as a red flag if someone doesn't have something that interests them.
  You don't need to be climbing everest or flying gliders, but if all you do is work, watch Tik Tok and sleep, that means you're boring. >
  
  I feel this lol. Had a conversation at work once, the guy said that since I don't do anything he knows im hiding something i don't want other people to know so I'm not worthy of trust. Crazy. >
  
  Everything is a red flag these days >
  
  Red flags are red flags cant argue that >
  
  It doesn't need to cost money but if you have no desire to do anything besides work and family your basically an NPC and maybe your fine with that it's cool some people are , however whatever makes you happy I guess can be a hobby >
  
  Why does family keep getting included in this? How is spending quality time with those you love not a hobby? >
  
  Because most people wouldn't count caring for or raising their family as a recreational activity. If you have a kid, that's a responsibility not a hobby. To think of it as a hobby suggests a lack of seriousness for something that is pretty important. >
  
  If you spend all your free time building Lego sets with your son, playing chess with your daughter, or watching movies with your wife, how is that not a hobby? >
  
  All of those are hobbies but they need more explanation than just ‘family’. Building a Lego set with your kid is a hobby, feeding and clothing your kid is not. So say the Lego part and not just ‘family’. >
  
  Spending time with your family implies all that. Maybe not specifically that, but it implies a whole lot more than feeding and clothing. >
  
  But all of those things you listed are hobbies separately, and ‘family’ covers a whole lot more, most of which is not recreational but a very important responsibility. So why obscure it? Why not just say the hobbies instead of saying family? Because most people don’t view their family as a hobby. >
  
  What do you actually do in your free time? That's your hobby. It could be simply "Watching TV". Not having a hobby would mean you don't have any free time, which I think is a red flag, because then you are probably a workaholic >
  
  Imagine a date
  "What's your hobby?"
  "Watching TV"
  ...
  "Ah" >
  
  I don't see anything wrong with that. It can lead to a larger conversation about which shows or movies they watch or what genres and stuff like that >
  
  It's about the vibes >
  
  Here's a hobby that's cheap but extremely fun and addictive
  Disc Golf
  It's cheap because the vast majority of courses are free, it's a great way to get outside, and also a good way to meet a fantastic community of people that are open to new players. >
  
  I won't lie it is an excellent hobby although ive not seen many courses for it outside of new zealand >
  
  It just makes you a boring person. Not a toxic bad red flag, but highly undesirable. >
  
  Maybe I’m just an asshole but if you don’t have money for a basic hobby I think that’s a red flag.  I don’t wanna be dating broke chicks who need me to pay for everything. >
  
  finally a truly unpopular opinion >
  
  I see your point in a way. I think a lot of people do certain landmark activities, just to make themselves sound more exciting like travelling to exotic places, skydiving etc. Yes, these need money a surplus of it too. People who only value these shows of ones 'hobbies' are vain in my opinion. To me a hobby can be absolutely any outside of work activity that you are passionate about. A hobby is that thing that you want to keep working on despite not having any monetary gain or validation from it. But, yes if someone has no passion towards any concept or activity then it is a red flag, but it is not all that common and I don't think that is what you are referring to. >
  
  Is this one of those posts where OP has a very narrow definition of "hobby" in order to support the post? >
  
  You really reaching calling hobbies LUXURY. Lmfao it’s like the most boring cop-out ever to defend your take. Hobbies can literally be anything you’re interested in and spend time doing for fun. Learning history can be a hobby. Writing songs or stories can be a hobby. Birdwatching is a hobby. Aerobics is a hobby. You can put money into any activity you do, of course anything can be expensive if you buy things for it. But all of these things can be done just by having an internet connection and I think you know that every hobby doesnt have to be luxury in any way. And it is a red flag that you’re pretending not to know this. 😂 >
  
  No I wasn’t reaching. Some people have kids, husbands,  wives, or they work long hours and have multiple jobs, and so on. Lots of people genuinely do not have the luxury to get a hobby. >
  
  It is very sad that you still think having something to do for fun/your own interest is a luxury. That’s literally what being a human is about. If a person is working so much that they can’t find any time or motivation to ever do something they’re interested in, that’s a problem with the system under which we live & work, not anything that has to do with it being a luxury or that person just choosing not to engage in pleasure. Nice try still trying to make it stick tho. >
  
  Ya all these comments says otherwise. Also, if you get mad because someone isn’t agreeing with you, you should definitely not join this sub. And I wasn’t trying to change your mind this is my unpopular opinion >
  
  All the comments are disagreeing with you and saying exactly what I did, what are you on LMAO >
  
  No there’s multiple comments of people stating they don’t have hobbies because they don’t have time or money. I would know because the notifications are coming to my phone not yours. 
  Anyway this was a nice little argument, I’ll turn the notifications off on this post now. >
  
  I clearly already addressed how that exact thing doesn’t make it a luxury, you’re going in circles now. Maybe if you had a hobby this could’ve been over by now. >
  
  Get a hobby nerd. >
  
  hobbies are a reflection of your personality and no, it does NOT necessarily require money to have a hobby. sounds like you're a boring person and mad about it >
  
  Hobbies can literally be just about anything. If you enjoy literally NOTHING, thats concerning. >
  
  What do you like to do? >
  
  I've never met anyone who thinks not having a hobby is a red flag. Pepole are over worked and tired. >
  
  Its a red flag tbh. Only working, then going home and scrolling through tiktok all night. Nothing interesting goes on. Mundane NPC behavior. If im looking for a partner, and all they know is work and tiktok. What the fuck am i supposed to connect with them? >
  
  No-one said anything about tiktok, well atleast I didn't. I read hobby as extra curricular activity and some pepole just can't be bothered to go bowling or cycling every weekend. >
  
  Im using a tiktok as an example. There are many small hobbies people can partake in at home or casually. Cooking, painting, reading, gardening. Something youre interested in that I can talk to you about. If you just watch the same shows on netflix or scroll through tiktok all day theres nothing to talk to you about. >
  
  so like, what do you do? >
  
  its not a red flag but it is nice to have a hobby and most hobby barely cost any money, its more of a time thing >
  
  Walking into the forest, hiking, watch movies, write, read are all hobbies and need no money. I am sure you have some, as long as you don’t watch a white wall all day, you have hobbies. Even if it is cooking or cleaning haha.
  So saying that someone has no hobby is a red flag for the other person actually, because it means he/she doesn’t understand or respect yours ´ >
  
  What I'm wondering is, what do people who don't have hobbies talk about, especially with someone they're just getting to know? It doesn't sound like fun to just talk about work and how you slept. 
  I don't have a lot of money, but I still enjoy drawing, puzzles, books, gardening, trying new food... >
  
  I disagree. Hobbies can also be watching shows, reading or just physical activity 
  If you literally have ZERO hobbies it is kinda a red flag in the sense that you’re either working 24/7 or are boring as hell lol >
  
  What do you consider a hobby? >
  
  Yes, I don't have time to have a hobby. I sleep, I eat and I study. I don't even remember the last time I have free time except for human needs (I wrote this in the restroom.) >
  
  There's a lot of cheap hobbies  or free that you can do in everyday life.
  Example is Reading. If you don't want to buy a book, just borrow from the library. >
  
  I mean, it’s not a red flag but it’d be just like “well, do you just sit and stare at the wall when you’re not working?” >
  
  Not a red flag but I do think it's very beneficial to have hobbies or little projects you do just for yourself. >
  
  Op are you ok >
  
  Who has time for hobbies? Between work and taking care of my kids, I’m lucky to find a couple of free hours a week. I can’t find time for much needed therapy, I’m supposed to start woodworking? >
  
  You could find something you like and engage your kid in it? My dad loved bike riding snd walking and so when we started to do those things together it was nice. Both of those became my hobbies too.