comment: >
  
  God help us.
context: Imagine the work order. 
  Your boss comes to you and says, "Hey, you're in charge of the cats calendar."
  "What calendar?"
  "The one with cats attacking infrastructure?"
  "What?" >
  
  you miss ONE day... >
  
  Hail Vectron! >
  
  By Vectron! >
  
  For those yet to experience the holy might of Vectron's kindly claw >
  
  Thank you. I had no idea. >
  
  You are most welcome by Vectron >
  
  For the love of all that is Vectron, your speech warms my Vectronic heart. >
  
  May Vectron’s beard shed its benevolence upon us. 🙏🏻🙏🏻 >
  
  And may all of his correspondence to us be sent Vectronically. So it is written, so shall it be done. >
  
  I live in Oregon and started to recognize a bunch of the dams, so I was like, “huh, that’s kinda cool.” Then I saw the text at the bottom of the first page. Portland District. Now a cat calendar makes perfect sense. >
  
  Same thing happened to me. I think I'm going to head to kinko's and have them print it out for me. >
  
  Tell them you need to print some important official military documents before you show them what it is >
  
  Don’t forget to tell them you need it right meow! >
  
  Who will protect our infrastructure from this menace? >
  
  An array of laser pointers. >
  
  cut to giant laser pointer satellite >
  
  omigod the jewish space lasers were real >
  
  *meowish space lasers >
  
  Hey that's racist >
  
  I think it would be cheaper to buy a calendar than use the ink/toner required to print it. >
  
  That's why you print it at work. >
  
  haha true, oh wait I work from home... >
  
  If you print from home for work you can write printer supplies off on your taxes :) >
  
  Uh yes boss I needed a calendar, so… oh what? Use the company one? Ummm but the US army has a really nice one and I thought I’d be patriotic - what? Oh, yeah I know we’re in Canada, I just… >
  
  Portland is pretty much wannabe Vancouver, BC. I say it goes! >
  
  Exactly what a Canadian would say... >
  
  Goodies, goodie goodie, yum yum. >
  
  I just scrolled until I found The Goodies reference but was wondering if I was going to find one at all. >
  
  It's way down the list, isn't it?  
  /knees hurt. >
  
  Ow, my back! Get off my lawn! >
  
  One engineer did it in his free time, and released it for use through the corps. 
  This was NOT government funded. >
  
  Even if it was government funded, I support this. >
  
  Even if it was government funded it would've been like maybe one day of pay at most? Not a ton for the amount of publicity they'll get that might make them even more money. >
  
  Assuming they already have the infrastructure pictures I would be surprised if it took more than 4 work hours. Also for chronically underfunded agencies that kind of PR is exactly how you get voters to convince the politicians to increase funds. I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar >
  
  
  I look forward to NASA figuring out how to photoshop giant cats playing with the planets like balls of yarn for their calendar   
  
  Well let me introduce you to the most bizarre social media messaging from an official U.S. government agency: The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission's Instagram feed. 
  And before I catch any "there's no way this is real" replies, here's the Washington Post covering it:  
  
  How a federal bureaucrat uses astronaut babies and dogs riding pigeons to try to save your life >
  
  This is rad! >
  
  CISA losing their shit rn >
  
  I would like one. >
  
  It's a free PDF. >
  
  No he would like one of the cats >
  
  yOu wOuLdN'T DoWnloAd a cAT >
  
  I can’t believe they included Sherlock getting knocked off a cliff. At least he didn’t jump this time. >
  
  I'm shocked that you're the only person I've seen comment on this so far! it's hilarious >
  
  "Every year, dozens of cats attack important infrastructure for our country causing dozens of dollars of damage. Won't you help?" >
  
  I heard this with Sarah McLoughlin's voice >
  
  Army Cats >
  
  Now do it with pictures of our crumbling infrastructure. >
  
  This seems like one of those things that is somehow going to age poorly given our Universe's current sense of irony. I don't know how exactly, but there's going to be some mass tragedy involving cats and a suspension bridge or something this year. >
  
  The first image kind of reads like "this infrastructure is super important so don't damage it". The calendar almost seems like a shopping list for domestic terrorists or something lol. >
  
  I mean, pretty obvious that dams, substations, bridges and the like are good targets for chaos. Google maps gives you all this plus Police stations and everything, with photos and the address. Useless to worry about it >
  
  Seriously, anyone who unironicly think terrorists were waiting for a cat calendar to list a bunch of locations to bomb is paranoid about the wrong things. >
  
  Cats would hunt and eat us if they were bigger than us >
  
  They already do, they are called Tigers. >
  
  If there were smaller tigers, we would keep them as pets, but they'd break all our stuff to prove they're still in charge. >
  
  They already do, they are called Cats. >
  
  OH MY GOD! >
  
  My tabby is a cute little tiger >
  
  I knew we had infrastructure challenges, but I didn't realize we were facing an infrastructure cat-astrophe! >
  
  Take my r/angryupvote >
  
  I love how shitty the photoshop is. Really ties it all together >
  
  Yeah I like the idea--but the pictures chosen and color grading are all off. I'd like this idea better executed more professionally. >
  
  Oh no I'm serious. The unprofessionalism is the best part. I would absolutely pay money for this >
  
  Only only thing weirder is gonna be their crazy ass plan to save the infrastructure. >
  
  It's the engineer Corp, they can build giant cat carriers. >
  
  I guess anything beats the 40 million they spend on viagra to keep the soldiers saluting. >
  
  This is delightful >
  
  i was imagining mountain lions breaking in to dumpsters or something, not giant house cats gnawing on substations, not disappointed. >
  
  I don’t need a calendar now that our pocket rectangles handle all of that for us, but I really want this calendar. >
  
  It is really convenient to just walk by my schedule versus having to pull it up, scroll, click and expand. I tend to forget about things if I don’t see it in front of me, but that’s just how my brain works. Plus if you’re on the phone trying to schedule something it’s nice to write it out too. >
  
  I'm sorry, we're already booked for giant spiders. >
  
  I personally kinda love this. >
  
  Best use of a miniscule amount of our tax dollars in the  entire US $1.7T budget. US Army Corp wins the internet today! >
  
  Honestly, the entire army corps of engineers may be one of highest rates of return on public good vs funding >
  
  Seriously. They do a shit ton of quality and important public work on a relatively shoe-string budget for engineering. I have a lot of respect for the people that work at the USACOE. >
  
  September, now that one is art >
  
  Haters will say it's Photoshop. >
  
  They’ve never seen Catzilla. >
  
  Hero of the Week! Hail yourself! >
  
  There it is! >
  
  
  The Army Corps Of Engineers Has Released a 2023 Calendar Of Giant Cats Attacking <
  
  r/brand new sentence 
  Also, giant cats attacking infrastructure is so 2020. In 2023 it just sounds silly. >
  
  September ❤️ >
  
  Omg. I love this. Especially the text blurbs on the pictures. Very funny and adorable! >
  
  Sounds like they understand cats are required if you want social media traction >
  
  I have never wanted to buy a calendar more than I do now! >
  
  On the one hand, I applaud the idea.
  On the other hand, the photoshop skills look like they came from the army corps of engineers. >
  
  Would you actually want them to look like they were perfectly matched to each environment? I'm pretty sure the comedic effect is all that matters here.
  And besides, it was just one engineer that created this on their spare time, rather than an official ACE production. >
  
  I was mainly being a bit snarky because the internet. That, and what I said was objectively true. >
  
  Can confirm, the Corps of Engineers fuckkkkks >
  
  Goddammit I just bought my 2023 calendar too lol >
  
  That’s cute though, not worrisome like a lot of other r/nottheonion posts. >
  
  As ever, the Army Corps of Engineers are the one branch of the US state that can get the important shit done >
  
  From the comments ITT it's evident that most people are unaware of how important they are to the lives of the majority of productive people in this country (people who live near a coastline or a major body of water). It's not just dams and rivers, it's the actual physical coastline of america that they look after. >
  
  Yup, it seems double edged- people think oh, they're the army corps and assumes they must be doing only military stuff. But equally if it was civilianised no doubt it'd be a target for cuts. An incredible org, regardless. And whether it's cats or weather or warming or the collapse of neglected infrastructure they're going to get more and more important so it's a damn good thing they exist because in 2023, nobody would invent them... >
  
  USACE is an agency that is funded by the DOD but is vastly ran by civilians. There are very few enlisted or commissioned  people in the army corps. >
  
  OK this is a thing and this is awesome >
  
  Oops, I had "Zombie Redneck Torture Family" in the betting pool. >
  
  Grumble. Never gonna see a merman... >
  
  USACE Portland District is one of the absolute best public sector social media presences out there. Seriously. Check it out. >
  
  Cats in military pictures is an entire IG channel >
  
  Good boot >
  
  Command team must be TDY >
  
  That was even better than the title made me think it would be. >
  
  I support my tax dollars going to causes such as this. >
  
  Finally tax dollars doing something good >
  
  I’m kind of disappointed. From the title, I thought there would be photos of actual big cats attacking infrastructure, not photoshopped domestic cats. Anyone have a photo of a puma going after an electrical substation? Or a tiger gnawing on a water line? >
  
  No. No one has that. Would be very interesting though to compile a calendar like that. Peace brother. >
  
  Great, now I need a color printer.
  Seriously, thank you u/radioman8414! >
  
  This is how I want my tax money spent. Downloaded and put up in my office! >
  
  The regional social media guy who put this together is constantly hilarious >
  
  Greatest calendar of 2023. >
  
  I need one of these for my office! I've worked on some of these dams! >
  
  Can I ask you some dam questions?? I’m sure you know a lot of dam information. I’m sure all of us would love some dam stories. Thank you. >
  
  Sure way to have a more interesting calendar than just infrastructure. >
  
  I would so adopt one if they existed. >
  
  I've heard army corps of engineers are very difficult to house train.  May want to consider before adopting one. >
  
  Touché. >
  
  That's amazing, thank you for posting it! >
  
  Is there anywhere to buy a nice physical copy of the calendar? >
  
  Those cats are mind-controlled by taxoplasmosis alien ameobas! >
  
  I was thinking this was gonna be mountain lions taking out maintenance huts or something like that. This is so much better >
  
  I’m the daughter of a former Portland, Oregon, US Army Corps Engineer, and I can confirm they are a strange crew. It makes me view the dams on the Columbia River fondly? >
  
  I love this so much. >
  
  Dude.  Awesome. >
  
  I love this! My astronomy teacher once did a talk on space cats.  It was hysterical.  Out of the blue he showed us pictures of space with cats added in.  He felt we needed a fun class for laughs.  I want this calendar. >
  
  This would be really cool if they got a decent digital artist. But they didn't, they used photoshop about as well as I can. >
  
  I think that adds to the charm >
  
  Don't even need to see it, where can I buy it >
  
  From the link - "Because the Army Corps is a Government Agency, the calendar is in public domain and totally free to download and print" >
  
  This is so funny, because it’s my Dad’s old workplace (from 1971 until he retired). My father, however, has zero sense of humor so he’d never work on something like this. >
  
  I met a guy from the Army Corps of Engineers when I worked for the EPA. Smartest guy I've ever met and the 2nd most hippe like person I've ever met. I'd like to think he had something to do with this idea. >
  
  Finally the massive military budget of the US is put to good use. >
  
  This is awesome. I might have to buy one. >
  
  No need. It's free, though you have to print it yourself if you want a physical copy >
  
  This is so adorable! I approve wholeheartedly. >
  
  It's about time. >
  
  Sappers lead the way >
  
  I have so much love for this. >
  
  Ehisssayons. >
  
  Love it. >
  
  Unintended benefits of relaxed Marijuana policies :) >
  
  Usace has not relaxed cannabis policies. No federal agency has >
  
  They certainly have relaxed policy, even though federal law hasn't changed. It's legal in my state and the current administration has announced they won't be pursuing user level Marijuana charges at the federal level.
  Wake up. >
  
  USACE still falls under the same policies as the rest of the army. They're treated as DA civilians, and subject to periodic biochemical testing and the resultant consequences if they pee hot. The army has, and will not in the foreseeable future, relax any policy regarding marijuana. >
  
  Adorable idea; wish they had hired someone better at photoshop >
  
  Its a free gag calendar that was probably just put together by someone for fun in their spare time. Considering the state of infrastructure in the US I don't imagine the Corps of Engineers has a lot of extra spending money to throw around >
  
  If they were smart, they would print it for us and sell it. I don't want a crappy calender that I printed on regular paper, I want the real thing and I would be glad to pay for it. >
  
  Genius!! This needs to be a trend. Reddit, make it so... >
  
  fuck yeah we finally gonna balance the budget >
  
  December's hilarious. I want this calender. >
  
  You can totally tell that this is not real. The lighting on the cats is so obviously different than the environmental mistake. Pathetic effort infrastructure geeks. >
  
  So they can blame cats for shoddy workmanship and lax maintenance. >
  
  Don't capitalize "Of" in titles >
  
  Wish they'd focus on not taking eight years to permit a fucking project, those lazy excuses for engineers. >
  
  You’re crazy dude. These peeps have built some amazing things. Extremely impressive. >
  
  They used to. >
  
  😂 >
  
  This whole absurd thing is exactly my sense of humour.  LOVE it. >
  
  Oregon! I've seen the one at Detroit Dam.  Sneaky bugger.  Hangs out with Bigfoot. >
  
  I need this >
  
  That's some adorable terrorism right there. >
  
  I remember seeing them, on quad bikes, with a lot of equipment, on Myrtle Beach beaches, I always wondered what they were doing... >
  
  I love this sequel to Beginning of the End! >
  
  Is there a way I can buy a physical version? >
  
  They're Demo-cats! >
  
  Any recommendations of the best way to get this printed semi-professionally? I tried checking Costco photo centre but they make you use a template. >
  
  Of course it’s Portland. >
  
  Kind of disappointing I can't actually buy a printed one.  My daughter would love this. >
  
  A pretty good idea for a poster. Who doesn't like cats being cats? >
  
  I really wish I had become a part of the ACOE but my mother didn't want her only son in the military. >
  
  Usace has civilian positions you're employed by the army, but you don't go through basic >
  
  I hope they pay more than Nidec. >
  
  Thanks for sharing! Downloaded and got my new Lock Screen wallpaper. >
  
  December is 🔥 >
  
  Obligatory Cat Dynamics >
  
  Politicians will say this is the proof of the REAL reason of why our infrastructure is deteriorating, then vote in a measure to hire their friends and family to counter this threat. >
  
  I didnt know cats were domestic terrorists like Republicans.  lol >
  
  This is the only kind of apocalypse I could see myself getting excited about. >
  
  August a missed opportunity to have CAT Excavators. >
  
  You have my attention. >
  
  Smart move