comment: >
  
  Just posted something similar about how dehumanizing it can be to be mentally I’ll.
context: Nowadays? Lol. It was ever thus. >
  
  Thus it ever was! >
  
  I can't judge whether this is unpopular or not -- mainly because it hasn't been discussed much as far as I've seen. Maybe there is less indulgence of mental illness because more people are recognizing that they might have one, or there is less empathy because social media has made more people unmitigated assholes.
  There's also a lot of people who wear their issues on their sleeve, who crave attention and want some kind of an exception -- and, I think that too much is made of the attention seekers. They aren't really harming anyone, and the people who gripe about the Kardashians all the time are worse than the fans in my book. WHY do you care? Meanwhile, there is a larger group of people who really are having challenges functioning -- perhaps because of more stress from not having a more "human" setting for interaction. We have over a million years of adaptation as a species to a world we can touch and in person communication. There needs to be a lot more study not just of social media -- but in general; what happens to people when they are not interacting physically?
  One basic study of twins where one was sitting and the other standing, showed about a 10 difference in life expectancy for the twin that stood. >
  
  People have very little empathy to begin with >
  
  The downside of culture without core beliefs is crazy town. >
  
  I really, really want to blame tumbler for this. 
  Somewhere in the 2000s people started to wear mental illnesses like accessories. Again and again they’d wave words around like ‘anxiety’ and ‘depression’ as if they had the golden ticket of excuses to be terrible people. Maybe they did have those illnesses but what people need to understand is that poor health, be it mental or physical, is an excuse but it is not always a justification. 
  If someone in a wheel chair turns down public hang outs because they hate trying to navigate new places in their chair, that is a justification. If someone with anxiety says no to a huge social gathering because the thought of so many people in one room makes them want to throw up, that’s a justification. 
  However, if that same person in the wheel chair throws a tantrum every time their partner goes on a walk or does something they can’t participate in - that is an excuse. If that same person with anxiety refuses to host, or let someone else host, a big birthday party of their SO’s dreams because they wouldn’t be able to enjoy it - that’s an excuse. 
  In the later cases, their feelings are valid but their expectation that the world must always cater to their needs even to the regular detriment of loved ones is not okay. It’s okay to feel frustrated, angry, bitter, jealous, or envious but it’s not okay to act on those feelings or make others absolve them. 
  Unfortunately, that’s a delicate balancing act. 
  Living with illness or disability, be it physical or mental, is hard. It is always going to be hard. I don’t live with anxiety and depression, I fight it every god damned day. And yeah, sometimes I slip up and my loved ones know that. But at no point should they revolve their entire lives around it. 
  Honestly, I hate sharing my mental health now because so many people use it as a justification to be jerks. It’s not. It never is and it never will be. >
  
  The issue I have is dealing with the self-diagnosed, it's not a fucking fad! Having depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, bipolar, or any other diagnosis can be absolutely crippling. >
  
  As someone who has suffered from crippling depression, and still deals with depressive episodes… I don’t mind people who self diagnose.
  Yes, some of them are idiots who don’t know what they’re talking about. 
  But many of them can’t afford therapy, or they have a good grasp of their mental illness, to the point it’s easy for them to self diagnose… 
  Unless someone isn’t obviously lying, I think it’s best to believe them when they say they have x mental illness. >
  
  Exactly like you don’t need to be a psychiatrist to figure out that say when your having a panic attack at once a week minimum that you might have an anxiety problem. >
  
  Empathy for mental illnesses is the highest it’s ever been. >
  
  and it's still not enough >
  
  Can't have an endless supply of empathy, especially if you're the type of person who doesn't need empathy from others. >
  
  Title is very  general, click-baity and you list very specific examples of romantic relationships.  and end with  some thing that no one actually thinks.  (people with mental illness  don't deserve empathy). >
  
  Mental illness shouldn't be used as an excuse, but sometimes I feel like people forget that sometimes it's not an excuse and people are at a place where they can not stop themselves from doing something, or do not know that it's a thing they shouldn't do. 
  If you need to leave someone because their issues are too much for you, that's fine, but so many people seem to just see mentally ill people as people who don't deserve care or relationships. It's always interesting when someone will go out of their way to help someone who isn't mentally ill but is against the idea of a mentally ill person getting help. >
  
  Sometimes I fell like other people just don't care. If i was missing both legs and was in a wheelchair you wouldn't ask me to do 3 laps around the basketball court for gym class but just bc my neurodivergence is not visible people seem less interestednin treating me like somebody with neurodivergency. We can't all function the same. >
  
  I think it’s cause people are tired of seeing people fake mental illnesses, so when someone actually has one they don’t feel and empathy or care about them. 
  This is coming from someone actually diagnosed, not self diagnosed. I completely understand why people have no empathy for certain ones cause it’s clear they are either faking it or doing for attention. Because I get annoyed by it too. 
  A ton of people are self diagnosing themselves with every mental Illness over nothing so it is completely understandable for people to either be annoyed or lack empathy cause sometimes those people aren’t suffering, but faking. I’ve seen it many times and it’s sad. >
  
  The amount of compassion people on the Internet have for mental health really seems to depend on what mental illnesses you're talking about. Most of the Redditors I've seen, who know what's good for them, will recommend to leave and never again contact narcissists, extreme bipolar people, or to a lesser extent psychopaths, but these last two generations seem to really advocate for more common mental health awareness like in regards to autism, depression, and anxiety. Granted, sort of like you said, the former case is normally because those people are jerks, 'basket cases', or actual domestic/spousal/child abusers. >
  
  Just because I can empathise with their plight, it's not really my responsibility to help or fix them. I may or may not love them enough to support their journey towards healing. I don't have the patience and "empathy" to tell them to stop using their illness as a crutch to not fix themselves and stay miserable. I am a firm believer a person can only change their condition when they make the effort to change themselves and to my experience, is an uphill battle and not easily overcome, let alone support by people around them. I still have my own baggages to deal with and it's also something not people would like to help me with and support. >
  
  mental illness can also feel like a very selfish thing. To live with the unpleasant symptoms and manifestations of a partner or family member's mental illness, only to be told that they have a diagnosis and now they are saying they will need you to work harder to help them recover feels a lot like getting beaten up by the town bully only to have them tell you that from now on, you have to try harder to tolerate being slapped in the face.
  It is going to take generations, not decades before people are able to understand what those suffering from mental illness are going through. And since there is inadequate access to mental health services, probably longer. >
  
  Well, we have person A. Person A struggles with anxiety disorder. That person is leaning on person B and person B is also seriously struggling with many actions of person A, that start to actively cause mental health related issues to person B. 
  Person A has a very shitty behaviour because of anxiety. Person b is actively affected by it. Just because person B understands the reason for person's A actions, it doesn't mean that he has to endure them, specially if person A becomes manipulative, toxic, stressful to a big extent, etc. 
  Everyone, and I mean it, everyone is struggling with many issues. But noone has the right to dictate someone else's lives because of said issues.
  Also, I am not sure about low empathy towards mental health. Mental health is being discussed more than ever in the entirety of human history >
  
  People use mental illness as a shield for bad behavior, it's completely fair to not empathize with that. >
  
  I agree. I had a friend in high school who had a mental illness (although she also faked/ exaggerated some things), and even though I empathized with her at first, she fucked me over way too many times while hiding behind her mental illness. She never apologized for anything, and at some point, my empathy changed into irritation. Like, there's only so much one can take. >
  
  The example lacks context because you are not the guy or the girl. And from the sound of it, you have never actually asked the girl for her side of the story, meaning, it is exceptionally one sided and biased. So, I do not agree.
  And, did you care about her mental well-being? Did you know she is likely becoming depressed because of your friend? I highly doubt it.
  Seriously though, don't talk the talk. If you honestly think there is be more to help your friend, you should move in with him to experience that first hand what is it like. Because you make it sounds like it is so easy and everyone should be able to do it. It is not easy at all. >
  
  People have empathy, but there's a difference between hearing someone's issues and becoming their sole source to trauma dump or vent to. If your mental illness is all you are ever going to talk about, people are going to lose interest in the subject and you as a person. Friends and family are not meant to be substitutes for therapy. >
  
  I just had to deal with this recently. I wanted to be a good friend to this person but it just turned into them telling me they want to die everyday and dodging every suggestion I made. It got old very fast, especially since they didn't have any plans of seeing a therapist >
  
  I don't know what you're talking about mental illness is celebrated now. >
  
  I remeber, 2 weeks ago, when we were writing a test in college (not really a test like in high school but similar) and the professor, a 70 yo man, has a habit of talking through the entire fucking test. 3 minutes of silence between each sentence. Other students can drown him out in the background i guess bc they never complain about it to him or tell him to shut up. 
  I however have adhd. I asked him nicely "can you please be quite, i have a disorder that prevents me from focusing if there are distracting noises in the background". He responded "your disorder is not my fault" and continued talking. >
  
  I understand. 
  I have an actual anxiety disorder.  Clinical, biological impairment.   
  People still tell me 'oh I have anxiety, too'.
  Like, 'oh, you also are constantly anxious when you have no reason to be?  You're calm when you shouldn't be?'
  'Huh?  Oh...no, I just don't like crowds.'
  That said, even I don't want to be with someone who can't tolerate my flaws. 
  It would be nice if more employers offered mental health days or more comprehensive mental health coverage, but I can't imagine anyone being forced to deal with such an issue when they don't want to.  Edit:  Well, I can imagine it, because...well, I didn't volunteer for this, but...you know what I mean. >
  
  Depends on if its legit or not. Many people tend to self-diagnose themselves and use it as an excuse to be shitty or for attention. In this current time mental health has never had more support. >
  
  "Metal illness" in it's factual meaning? I do have empathy for people struggling with that.
  But people that are too afraid to make a phone call to a restaurant because they have "anxiety" not so much. Or people that ghost many other people because of "mental health" excuses, not so much.
  People misuse the term "mental illness" way too often. >
  
  People don't understand what they haven't experienced. I've spent my entire life around bipolar people I cared about a great deal. I am a dramatically empathic person. When I went nuts, the first think I realized was how little I knew. I just had no fucking idea because I had not personally gone through it. People are people. >
  
  Agree with what has been said above, society is in general much more open to helping those with mental disorders, there are a ton of active campaigns trying to raise awareness of depression / anxiety / self harm etc. what people have no empathy for are the self diagnosed tiktok stars that use ‘anxiety’ and ‘neurodivergent’ as buzzwords to gain sympathy points. >
  
  You are correct but at the same time folks are using mental illness as an excuse. >
  
  If you have a mental illness and you know how it's affecting others negatively, but you do absolutely nothing about it, then I believe you absolutely deserve to be chastised/punished for that. Of course we are excluding mental illness where insight is completely lost, but that should be obvious. By definition, mental illness is defined by how one person's actions harm themselves and others. When you are treating mental illness, you are also treating those around the ill individual vicariously.
  Now, that doesn't mean that if you have mental illness, you are a bad person unworthy of love or employment. It's actually very admirable when people acknowledge they have a problem and are seeking help, and there is a lot of strength in that. But if you've been told that your depression or Bipolar or whatever makes you violent many times, and your partner leaves  you because you were violent again secondary to your illness (with you doing nothing to seek treatment), than you have no right to be mad.
  However, if your partner knew you had a mental illness you were working on prior to entering the relationship and they leave midway through because your condition somehow becomes unbearable, then that is a different story. >
  
  People give themselves fake illnesses >
  
  When you have people claiming to need their pet peacock go everywhere with them because of their mental illness, society tends to get less empathetic, and much more irritated >
  
  Well, in today's world, everyone is coming out with a diagnosis and it dilutes those who have a serious problem. Everyone talks about their new found mental health ussues like it is debilitating and needs special accomodations. So although people who are struggling with mental health issues need some empathy and kindness, it is hard to see who is actually suffering and who is trying to get a free pass in life right now. >
  
  It’s because ‘mental illness’ has been everybody’s go to excuse for shitty behavior in recent years.  And it’s not just the big ones like depression and autism anymore. People with things as minor as ADHD are suddenly acting like they are incapable of navigating society. 
  When the internet and media in general makes it seem like mental illness is waiting for you around every corner and people expect you to excuse every problem caused by a supposed mental illness, it kinda makes sense for people to get impatient and lose empathy. >
  
  ADHD is not minor >
  
  It’s not debilitating either. >
  
  if you have undiagnosed ADHD, absolutely it is devastating. Come do a day in an outpatient psych clinic and you will see. >
  
  Mental illness is painfully over diagnosed largely as an excuse to continue pricey treatment and medications. You can walk into a mental health clinic and say your depressed and they will do virtually nothing to actual determine the cause, instead they give you a diagnosis and a prescription. 
  That’s not to say that mental illness isn’t real and that there aren’t certain people who have disruptive chemical imbalances, but it is over diagnosed. 
  The human experience comes with a baseline level of anxiety. That’s not a mental illness, that just life. Most people suffering from depression don’t suffer from a chemical imbalance, they suffer from an unwillingness to acknowledge and correct unfavorable life circumstances. If your depressed and just happen to have a shit job, or a shitty relationship, you probably don’t have a mental illness, you have a need to get a new job and get the fuck out of the relationship you are in. 
  The problem is, these cut rate shrinks don’t want to evaluate or tell you that you need to make changes, they just label you with some mental shit and give you pills. When’s the last time they did a brain scan or some form of hormone spectrum test? Never. They aren’t checking you for any anomaly at all, they are just validating your feelings and medicating you, even if that’s not what you really need.
  This of course the gives you a “diagnosis” to carry around as an excuse for shitty behavior and allows you to place an undue burden on your loved ones to accommodate your “diagnosis”.  This unfortunately hurts those with actual mental illness because it makes it harder to take them seriously. 
  Sure, there are some people who do have these legitimate chemical imbalances. I have a close friend that’s bipolar and holy fuck his personality shifts when he’s manic, and I help in whatever ways I can. But not every single whiney turd on you’d Facebook friends list making a claim of anxiety or depression should be taken seriously. Most of them are just experiencing the human condition, and can’t cope with it. >
  
  There’s an increase in diagnosis because there’s an increase in awareness about mental illnesses and ability to access treatment. You see the same sort of increase in diagnosis in universal healthcare systems and they loose money giving you medication or treatment, so have no financial incentive (or any other incentive) to over diagnose or prescribe. >
  
  Not to mention, everything has been pretty insane this past while. Yes, it was worse through history, but now we know all of this terrible shit is happening as it happens. Kids feel powerless seeing it when they grow up. 
  I can't speak for others but I spent my entire childhood hearing that the planet's dying, that we'll never be able to buy a home or retire, that we'll all die of microplastics or cancer, the world's starving, that mental illness is OK as long as you don't show symptoms, etc.
  Who wouldn't be happy? /s lol.
  Yeah though, a lifetime of hearing that the world's going to shit and that you're powerless to stop ^miight just be part of why so many younger people are struggling now. They can't escape it the same way people could before social media became popular. Even if they stay offline themselves, all of their peers know and will talk about it.
  Also, there's usually only acceptance until they show symptoms. Kids are labeled a "bad student", then are left to fall through the cracks. It's insane to me to expect kids to know coping mechanisms that they've never been taught. It's messed up to expect them to deal with chemical imbalances as if they're adults, but without the medication. Leaving them to sink will just compound the problems for them when they reach adulthood. Yet, they still decided to do that with a lot of millennials and gen Z. Of course a lot of us are going to be a bit of a mess