comment: >
  
  I am not justifying the behavior, but for some, children are a form of income. While a child is a minor, the parent qualifies for government assistance or is eligible for child support. Once the child turns 18, all external forms of financial assistance stops. The child moves from an asset to a liability.
context: My parents started kicking me out around 12. Then would threaten to call the cops on my friends parents (who took me in and did right by me) if they didn't return me.
  Every 3-6 months it would happen again. Rinse and repeat.
  I promised my son that I would never do that to him. He's always got a room with me no matter how old he is, bc life is hard and throws curve balls that we don't expect.
  I've got a laundry list of things my parents did that I'll never do to my kids.
  Edit:
  Shoutout to Mr & Mrs H(R.I.P.), Mr & Mrs P, Ms. C and Ms. B for stepping up and being great people and teaching me what true kindness is. I'll never forget it.
  Thank you every one for your well wishes. Those who endured horrible childhood's like mine or worse, my hearts with you and I hope you're doing better. 
  Please, everyone, hug your kids and just love them. >
  
  Hey, I am sorry that happened to you, nobody deserves shit like that. >
  
  Thank you. That's just been my life. A roller coaster of fucked up situations. 
  I really need to talk to the developer and request "easy mode". 😂
  Hoping my dreams will come true soon. 🤞 >
  
  Seeing as real life is a soulsike, I don't think we'll ever get the easy mode. >
  
  Real life is a ?  Is that a typo? >
  
  Soulslike as in games like Dark Souls and similar ones. Games that are infamous for being pretty difficult without any difficulty settings. >
  
  I can't necessarily reset this one 
  I forgot to go to the save point 😂 >
  
  It happened to my wife.  When she graduated from high school they sent her on a trip to Hawaii, and when she came home all of her stuff was boxed up.  It baffles me how anyone could do that to their children >
  
  This seems like a very American thing. I just don't hear this happening in Europe. I put this down as a lack of community problem. You would be shamed in Europe if you treated your children this way. >
  
  I can't speak for all of europe but here in Finland is normal to leave home at 18. Parent's don't kick you out as aggressively because mostly since it's expected from you to leave, and kids do want to leave and live freely they move out for uni/school/military service after highschool without a lot of encouragement. I have known of cases where parents gift a frying pan or something for your new home when you turn 18 as a cue to go. Some people will maybe stay until 19 or 21 if the situation with the parents is good and everyone is ok, but mostly kids do want privacy. Also have to say that the government helps you pay part of the rent if you're a student (besides the student grants) so if you have a part time job or take a study loan you'll be fine if you live in a cheap place or with roomates. >
  
  I always found this interesting about Finland when I lived there. It's important to note however that Finland has incredible social safety nets and support available, so it's not the crisis it would be for say an American kid sent out on their own >
  
  Exactly. The worst that can happen is you will be poor and have to eat tuna and instant noodles and share an apartment with other 2 people. >
  
  Which is the standard in the us >
  
  at 18 people are still in high school and mostly don't have jobs, wtf >
  
  Yeah Aussie here born in 2004 and majority of people I know including me had jobs at around 14 years old. Usually 3-4 nights a week after school. >
  
  That's fucked up. Kids shouldn't have jobs >
  
  Kids should remain at home but it's not too bad for a kid to save up a little bit (provided that they're at least 16). So long as the job has reasonable hours and it's not affecting your studies >
  
  Why provided that they're 16? Why is that your arbitrary cut-off? >
  
  I’ve told my kids that as much as possible, I want them equipped to move out when they want to, but that they’re welcome to stay with us as long as they want. That the only way I will ever kick them out is if it gets to the point that staying with me is holding them back. I’m in no hurry to see them leave. >
  
  Same here. I also want my home environment to be one that my child can feel comfortable and safe to stay in if they need to, not to be made to feel like they’re an inconvenience as I was. >
  
  That’s why u kick them out at 17. Jk. 
  Well that’s what happened to me. Toxic family. Glad I left though. Doing much better now >
  
  My mom faked my birth certificate so I would graduate at 17, but she kicked me out at 16 anyway... >
  
  I moved out at 18 semi-voluntarily. I wasn't kicked but I didn't much like the deal on the table. 
  I worked hard and learned a lot and I genuinely credit it with me being a much more capable adult much sooner than I may have been. 
  That said, every situation has it's pros and cons. I lived very frugally, I didn't go out with friends too often and I didn't really spend too much on clothes or "things."
  I had simple pleasures, but my own small space. 
  This was around 15 years ago and I know it isn't getting any easier to do. I do however value my independence, capabilities and ability to function as an adult and I've never had to rely on parental financial support as an adult. There is a lot of freedom that comes with that. >
  
  It's all perspectives, in my country spending time with ur loved ones is considered very valuable and cherished, we spend a lot of our lives with the our family, generational homes are very common, "having freedom" as u put it isn't high on the list as most people life for others.
  Some people like being surrounded by family. >
  
  I've experienced both sides of this cultural difference and I'd say while close-knit families can be great, it's also a double edged sword. The cultures that this is the norm can be quite controlling of their children, especially the girls. There can be a lot more scrutiny in career, dating and lifestyle choices and much less financial independence. >
  
  yea both have their pros and cons, but the "American" system makes u narcissist and self-centred imo. >
  
  Self centered maybe, but narcissism is something completely different and absolutely crosses that particular cultural divide. >
  
  It’s mostly people in the US who do this, and that’s worse because minimum wage in the US doesn’t even come close to covering the cost of living now. Most 18 year olds are either still in or fresh out of high school and have no choice but minimum wage jobs. And getting a college degree while working full time is really fucking hard. So any parents who do this to their kid are just screwing them and their chances of a good future over. >
  
  No one makes the National minimum wage. It would be easier to get a $20 an hour job than a job that pays the minimum wage.  I live in one of the lowest cost of living areas & have not seen a job that pays minimum wage in 5+ years. >
  
  keep in mind though that these numbers include tipped workers so numbers are pretty skewed. >
  
  Well as far as I heard it is mostly only western families who do this. Other cultures seem to value to family bonds way more than we do. >
  
  It’s absolutely not “western” families. It’s AMERICAN (US) families. 
  The rest of the west either has very good welfare in place (think of Scandinavia) meaning that kids can sustain themselves outside of their parents’ home, or in other places (think Italy, Greece, Spain…) they live at home with their parents until they have enough money and life experience to move out. >
  
  What's the difference between moving out at 18 or 30, it's the same in my opinion, why don't westernes have the concept of generational housing?
  My grandma purchased a house and we all live in the same house on different floors. >
  
  Cause Westerners aren’t poor can can afford to leave >
  
  apparently not going by Reddit. >
  
  It’s in AU as well. I didn’t get kicked out but got told to start earning a wage and contributing or get out. Studied for a bit then left. I will encourage my son to stay as long as possible and save as long as possible. I don’t understand. >
  
  Told my kids, at 18, you are welcome to stay at home, as long as you are making an attempt to better yourself. Meaning, you are employed or seeking employment, attending school or training. They get about 1 year to relax and evaluate where and what they want to do with their life. I will help out as much as I can, but I will not babysit a capable adult who wants to freeload. >
  
  I think it really depends on the context. I have no plans to boot my daughter out the second the clock stokes midnight on her 18th birthday. That said, I'm not going to be an enabler if she doesn't want to do anything productive. Working/going to school is fair game, but if she decides she wants to sit around and do nothing I'm not going to be an early retirement plan. >
  
  Any culture other than western culture this is unheard of. In fact, in most cultures it’s normal for the family to pay for education too! >
  
  Canadian here, and I know one person who got kicked out at 18 (his parents got him apartment listings for his bday).  Honestly he was a bit of a prick, he was a friend of mine but he was always mouthy and self-righteous so I imagine he wasn't exactly easy to live with.  I never met his parents so I have no idea what they were like but I imagine they weren't very nice either >
  
  At least they provide him with a place to live. >
  
  My uncle said this about me to my mum because i wasn't working, funny his son is now 24, no job and still living at home with absolutly 0 prospects of leaving anytime soon >
  
  My ILs moved my husband out the week he graduated high school. Just recently they looked at my almost 17 year old son and said it was almost time to move out. He was like "uh no" and they insisted that it is what you do at 18 because they moved out at 18 and so did their two sons. We just replied that is not how we do things and I don't want my kids saddled with debt their whole lives. I'd rather they be able to go to college while living at home and save as much money as possible. And while my in laws paid for my husband and BIL to live in apartments, I'm not going to be doing that. My kids all say they prefer to still live with their family. My son won't leave his dog and he pointed out he regularly takes care of our horses and goats and doesn't want to leave. People are ridiculous. 
  We have a large house and land. They can stay as long as they want but I will not pay for them to live anywhere else and I will not force them to spend money to live on their own so young. >
  
  Your husband's parents didn't kick him out unsupported if they paid for his housing. They took care of his biggest expense which makes life much easier. I'm not saying you should do the same with your son, but your husband's situation wasn't what the OP described. >
  
  Exactly. But they expect us to do the same and that is just not who we are as parents. His parents were absent parents. We aren't. >
  
  My daughters and nieces will never not have a room and food as long as I’m on this earth. M
  I agree OP. And if you can, stay with your parents as long as you can. Stack your money and when you’re ready to leave the nest, be secure! 
  If my children were ashamed to come back home, I would be ashamed I made it so that they ever thought way.
  But for me? My dad was an abusive piece of shit. I literally went to war to get out. And my wife went to boarding school at 14 and never went back home. >
  
  Sometimes, kids need to move out to continue their growth. Even if they don't want to. Kind of like how some small children want you to get them dressed and find their shoes for them, it's easy to resist something (even if it's growth) because the alternative is easier. I'm not saying every case is the same, but sometimes you have to drag them kicking and screaming into adulthood, because the alternative is easier. >
  
  With the rising view of "you don't owe your parents anything. They owe you everything. They can't ask anything of you ever" I'd understand if a parent would kick them out for basically free loading at a certain age >
  
  I can definitely see both perspectives, and taking it to either extreme is unacceptable.
  Kicking a hard working mostly respectful 18 year old who is trying to adult is bullshit. But a lazy ass young adult who refuses to work or help around the house, saves nothing and is aggressive with his parents, yeah, kick him the duck out.
  Each and every situation will be different, and different tact's will be needed to successfully launch kids into adulthood. Some kids will thrive on one method, while others would not. >
  
  That's a really good perspective to have. The biggest problem I have with the two extremes, aside from them being extremes, is that they leave no room for exceptions >
  
  Kicked out at 18 and it took me another 20 years to recover.
  No fucking way I'm doing that to my kids. >
  
  Same. May never fully recover. Currently treating my child like a valuable person and ensuring their start in life is a good one. >
  
  I got kicked out at 18. I appreciate it in hindsight because it forced me to shit or get off the pot. There’s a big difference between kicking a kid out of the nest and maliciously cutting them off. >
  
  I voluntarily left home at 19 and moved in with my bf. My parents were not abusive, but also were not giving me good guidance or assuring me they would help with college. Pretty sure they did not approve of my choice but they made no effort to stop me. 
  My bf turned out to be abusive. By the time I figured it out, my parents had split up. I couldn't move back in with my mother as she had a tiny apartment.  I wouldn't consider moving back in with my alcoholic father under any circumstances.  He threw out all of my personal possessions without any notice to me. I thought it would be ok to leave things there until i established a more permanent home. So I stuck with the abusive bf way longer than I should have. Needless to say this has had long lasting effects in my life. 
  I kept my daughters bedroom hers for years after she moved out just in case she needed to return. And she did a couple of times. I had many talks with her about her plans, what I thought she should do and how I was willing to help her.
  Don't be an asshole to your own children. >
  
  This is a popular opinion, only losers kick their kids out. >
  
  I think you're wrong.  I'm from the South and a lot of parents will either kick the kids out or charge them rent.  I like the idea of charging rent because he/she has to contribute to the household or start developing their own household. >
  
  Just because you lived there and had to accept that it's happening a lot around you doesn't mean it's not wildly stupid. You just accept stupidity as a normal condition if you are surrounded a lot by it. >
  
  I'm curious as to what's stupid? Kicking kids out of the house at 18, I 100% disagree with, but contributing to the household costs as a legal adult can't be a bad thing, surely? >
  
  Well if you get to live at home as an adult then yeah you should bring home some value. Unless you study around the clock. >
  
  in most arab countries you continue to live with your parents until you can afford to rent a similar or better place and sometimes even ppl who can do that choose to stay with their parents not only cuz children aren't a bruden to arab but it is a really wise economic decision 
  to save and enjoy ur 20s instead of paying rent >
  
  Most of them want to move out at that age. Yes as a parent you look after them but that extends to even if, and when they do move. 
  They will make mistakes so it's your job to guide and support them throughout their experience or perhaps you might lose them because you're too stifling. 
  I've encouraged my 18yr old to get his own place with his GF, he has a job he has a GF he has his mother he has me no matter what. I think he's excited and on the verge of becoming a good man,independent and confident.
  We all live together and that's OK but he's mature enough to have his own space. >
  
  Different pants for different people. I was never kicked out. Home till 30. (I know, don’t say it). But my mental was not good enough for me to be alone. That being said I eventually moved out and got married. Personally, I would’ve ended homeless and destitute if my parents kicked me out >
  
  My mom allowed step dad to kick me out at 18. At the time I was working part time during the day and going to community College (all paid for by me) in the evening. 
  The reason was that I argued too much with my younger sister. They gave me six months to work to save up for a car handed me anew laundry basket with detergent and basically showed me the door.
  I was a good kid. I didn't do drugs, worked, went to school, mouthy probably, but is that really the right response?
  My life got very hard after that. I was vulnerable and placed in bad situations around bad people. I was never guided through higher ed and had to figure it out. No financial help at all. 
  I still have trauma over this years later. Hyper independent , unable to let anyone in or trust, very few friends that are long term. I keep people at arm's length and I get panic attacks if my money is not where I'd like it. I hoard it like how other people board food. I never had children, convinced that I was too broken (but also financially vulnerable) did a very long time. 
  This had enormous impact on me. I'm reasonably successful now. I'm okay now. I'm working through the cptsd, now. 
  I went no contact with my mom only last year, when the weight of flashbacks became too much, especially when she rewrites history and acts proud because her kids are self sufficient like she did anything other than throw us in the pool to force us to swim. >
  
  In India, we have a concept of living together as families we respect our elders and live with them as well, and parents don't kick out their kids as soon as they turn 18 but tell them to focus on their careers, health and lives. >
  
  It's abusive I'd you coddle the kid and don't make him earn money first.. But If they don't heed your advice and are lazy.. then it's time for some life lessons >
  
  Yes it 100% is. That’s what my parents did because they wouldn’t stop popping kids out and couldn’t afford having another person in the house. 
  These people are typically sociopaths and already have shitty relationships with their kids. I am completely no contact with my dad because of the shenanigans dude pulled when I was a teen. >
  
  what shenanigans did he pull? >
  
  Most people are stupid, suck, and have no empathy. Many of these people are unfortunately also parents. Wild world >
  
  I agree...don't know if abusive is the right word though. My parents have made it clear to us that our home will be ours forever, and we can come back any time. I don't understand how people can kick their kids out.
  I do come from a South Asian household though, and we tend to live with our parents at an older age. I have no issue living with my parents for the rest of their lives and looking after them in their old age. I help a lot with the cooking, groceries, errands, cleaning etc. I also order and collect all the medications. I also pay for their phone contracts and handle all the techy stuff. I earn a decent salary and I'll give them money if they every need, or pay for holidays for them. >
  
  as someone who got kicked out at 18 and was threatened with it for years before then, yeah it’s definitely a form of abuse >
  
  Some of us don't have the luxury of living with their parents well into adult hood or have support after. If I had a stable loving household I would have loved to live at home. Alas, I did not and was forced to be independent at a very young age. I became independent and successful in large part because of it. Now when my parents want to live with me I say no thanks! I will pay for them and help them but they are never living with me. That boat has sailed. My parents wished they could live with me now. >
  
  Don't take this the wrong way but I think that's a given.  Of course some people won't be able to make it work, but I think we are talking more about overall cultural norms and expectations >
  
  Hard to judge without knowing the totality of the situation. Some children are holy terrors and leave their parents with no other choice. Some children are wonderful and serve as assets and their parents wish they would stay. Some parents are narcissistic nightmares and remaining with them is toxic and possibly lethal and it's for the best that the children are pushed out. Other parents exert so much control over adult children that they couldn't leave if they wanted to. >
  
  I had one of those "kicked out at 18" kids come live in a rent house with me and my roommates. He was out partying literally all night, coming home as I was leaving for work. Never paid rent, ate everyone's food, brought drugs into the house (hard rule for all roommates). Stole clothes, food, makeup, etc. Never contributed a dime and refused to get a job. 
  We kicked him out too. >
  
  Good grief, the word "Abusive" is thrown around to the point it just means "something I don't like." >
  
  For me, I think kids should have a life of their own at least 20. 18 is too young. I’m 18 and I’m currently a non-working student looking forward to studying in a community college and university. I’m definitely planning to live a life of my own once I’ve graduated college. >
  
  You will be 20 before you even blink. If you have a good home situation right now, use it. Save your money and move out at 25, which will come around super quickly. Scraping by in your early 20s has been massively romanticised by movies and TV. It fucking sucks. >
  
  While it sucks, there are upsides. >
  
  What are the upsides? >
  
  You get a better sense of independence. You get real life experience. You understand that life can be wildly unpredictable and the most well thought out plans aren’t full proof. True independence doesn’t happen while you’re living under someone else’s roof. >
  
  imo this is not unpopular, and it is also mostly in the US that this is a thing (idk why honestly it seems a strangely cruel, people at 18 are lost as fuck in life in general). >
  
  Moving out when I was 18 was the best decision of my life. Easier with friends, easier with girls, easier when you wanna kick back and do things your own way, parental independence strengthens you and is honestly rather fun if done right. >
  
  It's great that you had the choice but not everyone had the choice >
  
  So?  That's the same as anything, if you have the opportunity to it's worth it. House sharing with reliable house mates, having a job and spending responsibly give me more personal freedom than I'd ever have had at "home."
  Can you maintain the same standard of living loving parents tend to provide, no, but you're 18 starting your own venture, you're not supposed to have the same purchasing power as a couple, once you get over than and work on yourself the world's your oyster. >
  
  Don’t try to offer a rational counterpoint on Reddit. They just downvote you.  But good job on getting your own place! And that’s a very accurate description- when you start out on your own, you’re not going to have what your parents have, it took decades for them to achieve that! Freedom, learning to manage life and home and finances, etc is very valuable! >
  
  I'm not really bothered by the downvotes, young redditors have an envy problem and the perspective that the world's stacked against them.  
  I say this from the perspective of someone who's 30, moved out at 18 with a  very unstable life at the time, it was one of the best decisions of my life, I wouldn't be the person I am today without the stubbornness and determination to go my own way instead of (As I saw it in my eyes, naievely) "always burdening my parents".
  I don't blame them for it, but but has to be said sometimes that what you "can" do always starts of as an "option you don't have" untill you take decisions, plans and discipline enough to move towards making that an option you can take.
  If you don't achieve something significant to your own personal goals today, just try again tommorow, ask advice, don't just hope for options, make them.  No human being has 0 barriers to cross. >
  
  It is ok only if you prepare your kid all these years up to their adulthood 18 year old moment for the independent life. In other words if you actively gear and prepare your child to support themselves it is ok to set them free at 18. I mean all necessary skills and knowledge that will keep them afloat no matter what.
  However raising a kid and then just dropping them into the darkest place is setting them up to a failure.  It is irresponsible attitude to your own flesh and blood to drop them into a lake and see if they float back up. Also a guaranteed method to ensure you die alone in a shitty rest home when you get old. >
  
  As an 18 year old who was given a one way plane ticket across the country, with no money, place to live or plan, yup it was sink or swim.
  They had the means to help me and they convinced me they didn't. I could have gone to college or even just have a safe place to sleep and food. Now, they want to take credit for making me an independent person, but I did all the work, alone with no support. >
  
  It depends where you live. In the Netherlands this is quite normal .. but then again: free healthcare and free education is a good safety net that should so ensured by every nation. >
  
  In high school my father told me when I turned 18 would start a timer of me either getting a job or going to college or else he would show me the door. I think this is a reasonable approach? What are your thoughts? >
  
  That's reasonable. After graduation from high school, you do need to be working towards something unless there are extenuating circumstances. >
  
  I agree, it's way better to move out after college >
  
  Usually the idea is “kicking the kid out” when they’re 18 only after they’ve gotten some kind of college or job. >
  
  Disagree. On the night of the 18th bday before it strikes midnight parents will throw you out to get away from you sometimes. It does happen >
  
  Everything “does happen” to a certain statistical percentage, but whether or not it happens that way in the vast majority of instances is what’s at debate. >
  
  This isn’t an unpopular opinion. >
  
  Parents kick their kids out, then act shocked that they never want to come back. >
  
  If i was kicked out at 18 i would have been dead. Mental issues and adhd don't mix well with jobs and independance. >
  
  What do you mean, I'm a legal adult and my own responsibility?! You OWE this to me mom and dad, you can't make me grow up! YOU created me, so you OWE me food and shelter! UGh
  DAE have abusive parents who deny them food, clothign and shelter? >
  
  Those same parents: “Why does my adult son/daughter not call me or ever visit me? What did I do wrong?” Lmfao >
  
  Took me 10 years after this incident to finally be stable enough to attend a university and shoot for a degree. I was literally starving for 5 years before things started to calm down. >
  
  Damm what an unpopular opinion >
  
  That's one of the less worse outcomes. People are irresponsible and we need some form antinatalism in all places of the world to protect human dignity or in the very least provide a way to safely die without pain >
  
  This isn’t an unpopular opinion >
  
  I feel like when your 18 you should be helping your family by paying rent money but kicking your child out your house without a proper reason is not fair at all especially in these times when it’s so expensive to get a place of your own >
  
  My parents kicked all 5 of their children out when they reached 18. I ended up couch hopping (staying with random friends, relatives, boyfriends) until I was about 30 because I couldn't get a decent enough job to pay rent. I also put myself through college twice during this time. My first degree was a mistake. Never got a job from it. >
  
  They’re 18. As soon as they hit that number parents have no legal obligation to an adult mooching off them. >
  
  This is a really popular opinion, which turns up every month or so.