comment: >
  
  You either fly or you don't
context: My parents started kicking me out around 12. Then would threaten to call the cops on my friends parents (who took me in and did right by me) if they didn't return me.
  Every 3-6 months it would happen again. Rinse and repeat.
  I promised my son that I would never do that to him. He's always got a room with me no matter how old he is, bc life is hard and throws curve balls that we don't expect.
  I've got a laundry list of things my parents did that I'll never do to my kids.
  Edit:
  Shoutout to Mr & Mrs H(R.I.P.), Mr & Mrs P, Ms. C and Ms. B for stepping up and being great people and teaching me what true kindness is. I'll never forget it.
  Thank you every one for your well wishes. Those who endured horrible childhood's like mine or worse, my hearts with you and I hope you're doing better. 
  Please, everyone, hug your kids and just love them. >
  
  Hey, I am sorry that happened to you, nobody deserves shit like that. >
  
  Thank you. That's just been my life. A roller coaster of fucked up situations. 
  I really need to talk to the developer and request "easy mode". 😂
  Hoping my dreams will come true soon. 🤞 >
  
  Seeing as real life is a soulsike, I don't think we'll ever get the easy mode. >
  
  Real life is a ?  Is that a typo? >
  
  Soulslike as in games like Dark Souls and similar ones. Games that are infamous for being pretty difficult without any difficulty settings. >
  
  I can't necessarily reset this one 
  I forgot to go to the save point 😂 >
  
  It happened to my wife.  When she graduated from high school they sent her on a trip to Hawaii, and when she came home all of her stuff was boxed up.  It baffles me how anyone could do that to their children >
  
  This seems like a very American thing. I just don't hear this happening in Europe. I put this down as a lack of community problem. You would be shamed in Europe if you treated your children this way. >
  
  I can't speak for all of europe but here in Finland is normal to leave home at 18. Parent's don't kick you out as aggressively because mostly since it's expected from you to leave, and kids do want to leave and live freely they move out for uni/school/military service after highschool without a lot of encouragement. I have known of cases where parents gift a frying pan or something for your new home when you turn 18 as a cue to go. Some people will maybe stay until 19 or 21 if the situation with the parents is good and everyone is ok, but mostly kids do want privacy. Also have to say that the government helps you pay part of the rent if you're a student (besides the student grants) so if you have a part time job or take a study loan you'll be fine if you live in a cheap place or with roomates. >
  
  I always found this interesting about Finland when I lived there. It's important to note however that Finland has incredible social safety nets and support available, so it's not the crisis it would be for say an American kid sent out on their own >
  
  Exactly. The worst that can happen is you will be poor and have to eat tuna and instant noodles and share an apartment with other 2 people. >
  
  Which is the standard in the us >
  
  at 18 people are still in high school and mostly don't have jobs, wtf >
  
  Yeah Aussie here born in 2004 and majority of people I know including me had jobs at around 14 years old. Usually 3-4 nights a week after school. >
  
  That's fucked up. Kids shouldn't have jobs >
  
  Kids should remain at home but it's not too bad for a kid to save up a little bit (provided that they're at least 16). So long as the job has reasonable hours and it's not affecting your studies >
  
  Why provided that they're 16? Why is that your arbitrary cut-off? >
  
  I’ve told my kids that as much as possible, I want them equipped to move out when they want to, but that they’re welcome to stay with us as long as they want. That the only way I will ever kick them out is if it gets to the point that staying with me is holding them back. I’m in no hurry to see them leave. >
  
  Same here. I also want my home environment to be one that my child can feel comfortable and safe to stay in if they need to, not to be made to feel like they’re an inconvenience as I was. >
  
  That’s why u kick them out at 17. Jk. 
  Well that’s what happened to me. Toxic family. Glad I left though. Doing much better now >
  
  My mom faked my birth certificate so I would graduate at 17, but she kicked me out at 16 anyway... >
  
  I moved out at 18 semi-voluntarily. I wasn't kicked but I didn't much like the deal on the table. 
  I worked hard and learned a lot and I genuinely credit it with me being a much more capable adult much sooner than I may have been. 
  That said, every situation has it's pros and cons. I lived very frugally, I didn't go out with friends too often and I didn't really spend too much on clothes or "things."
  I had simple pleasures, but my own small space. 
  This was around 15 years ago and I know it isn't getting any easier to do. I do however value my independence, capabilities and ability to function as an adult and I've never had to rely on parental financial support as an adult. There is a lot of freedom that comes with that. >
  
  It's all perspectives, in my country spending time with ur loved ones is considered very valuable and cherished, we spend a lot of our lives with the our family, generational homes are very common, "having freedom" as u put it isn't high on the list as most people life for others.
  Some people like being surrounded by family. >
  
  I've experienced both sides of this cultural difference and I'd say while close-knit families can be great, it's also a double edged sword. The cultures that this is the norm can be quite controlling of their children, especially the girls. There can be a lot more scrutiny in career, dating and lifestyle choices and much less financial independence. >
  
  yea both have their pros and cons, but the "American" system makes u narcissist and self-centred imo. >
  
  Self centered maybe, but narcissism is something completely different and absolutely crosses that particular cultural divide. >
  
  It’s mostly people in the US who do this, and that’s worse because minimum wage in the US doesn’t even come close to covering the cost of living now. Most 18 year olds are either still in or fresh out of high school and have no choice but minimum wage jobs. And getting a college degree while working full time is really fucking hard. So any parents who do this to their kid are just screwing them and their chances of a good future over. >
  
  No one makes the National minimum wage. It would be easier to get a $20 an hour job than a job that pays the minimum wage.  I live in one of the lowest cost of living areas & have not seen a job that pays minimum wage in 5+ years. >
  
  keep in mind though that these numbers include tipped workers so numbers are pretty skewed. >
  
  Well as far as I heard it is mostly only western families who do this. Other cultures seem to value to family bonds way more than we do. >
  
  It’s absolutely not “western” families. It’s AMERICAN (US) families. 
  The rest of the west either has very good welfare in place (think of Scandinavia) meaning that kids can sustain themselves outside of their parents’ home, or in other places (think Italy, Greece, Spain…) they live at home with their parents until they have enough money and life experience to move out. >
  
  What's the difference between moving out at 18 or 30, it's the same in my opinion, why don't westernes have the concept of generational housing?
  My grandma purchased a house and we all live in the same house on different floors. >
  
  Cause Westerners aren’t poor can can afford to leave >
  
  apparently not going by Reddit. >
  
  It’s in AU as well. I didn’t get kicked out but got told to start earning a wage and contributing or get out. Studied for a bit then left. I will encourage my son to stay as long as possible and save as long as possible. I don’t understand. >
  
  Told my kids, at 18, you are welcome to stay at home, as long as you are making an attempt to better yourself. Meaning, you are employed or seeking employment, attending school or training. They get about 1 year to relax and evaluate where and what they want to do with their life. I will help out as much as I can, but I will not babysit a capable adult who wants to freeload. >
  
  I think it really depends on the context. I have no plans to boot my daughter out the second the clock stokes midnight on her 18th birthday. That said, I'm not going to be an enabler if she doesn't want to do anything productive. Working/going to school is fair game, but if she decides she wants to sit around and do nothing I'm not going to be an early retirement plan. >
  
  Any culture other than western culture this is unheard of. In fact, in most cultures it’s normal for the family to pay for education too! >
  
  Canadian here, and I know one person who got kicked out at 18 (his parents got him apartment listings for his bday).  Honestly he was a bit of a prick, he was a friend of mine but he was always mouthy and self-righteous so I imagine he wasn't exactly easy to live with.  I never met his parents so I have no idea what they were like but I imagine they weren't very nice either >
  
  At least they provide him with a place to live. >
  
  My uncle said this about me to my mum because i wasn't working, funny his son is now 24, no job and still living at home with absolutly 0 prospects of leaving anytime soon >
  
  My ILs moved my husband out the week he graduated high school. Just recently they looked at my almost 17 year old son and said it was almost time to move out. He was like "uh no" and they insisted that it is what you do at 18 because they moved out at 18 and so did their two sons. We just replied that is not how we do things and I don't want my kids saddled with debt their whole lives. I'd rather they be able to go to college while living at home and save as much money as possible. And while my in laws paid for my husband and BIL to live in apartments, I'm not going to be doing that. My kids all say they prefer to still live with their family. My son won't leave his dog and he pointed out he regularly takes care of our horses and goats and doesn't want to leave. People are ridiculous. 
  We have a large house and land. They can stay as long as they want but I will not pay for them to live anywhere else and I will not force them to spend money to live on their own so young. >
  
  Your husband's parents didn't kick him out unsupported if they paid for his housing. They took care of his biggest expense which makes life much easier. I'm not saying you should do the same with your son, but your husband's situation wasn't what the OP described. >
  
  Exactly. But they expect us to do the same and that is just not who we are as parents. His parents were absent parents. We aren't. >
  
  My daughters and nieces will never not have a room and food as long as I’m on this earth. M
  I agree OP. And if you can, stay with your parents as long as you can. Stack your money and when you’re ready to leave the nest, be secure! 
  If my children were ashamed to come back home, I would be ashamed I made it so that they ever thought way.
  But for me? My dad was an abusive piece of shit. I literally went to war to get out. And my wife went to boarding school at 14 and never went back home. >
  
  Sometimes, kids need to move out to continue their growth. Even if they don't want to. Kind of like how some small children want you to get them dressed and find their shoes for them, it's easy to resist something (even if it's growth) because the alternative is easier. I'm not saying every case is the same, but sometimes you have to drag them kicking and screaming into adulthood, because the alternative is easier. >
  
  With the rising view of "you don't owe your parents anything. They owe you everything. They can't ask anything of you ever" I'd understand if a parent would kick them out for basically free loading at a certain age >
  
  I can definitely see both perspectives, and taking it to either extreme is unacceptable.
  Kicking a hard working mostly respectful 18 year old who is trying to adult is bullshit. But a lazy ass young adult who refuses to work or help around the house, saves nothing and is aggressive with his parents, yeah, kick him the duck out.
  Each and every situation will be different, and different tact's will be needed to successfully launch kids into adulthood. Some kids will thrive on one method, while others would not. >
  
  That's a really good perspective to have. The biggest problem I have with the two extremes, aside from them being extremes, is that they leave no room for exceptions >
  
  Kicked out at 18 and it took me another 20 years to recover.
  No fucking way I'm doing that to my kids. >
  
  Same. May never fully recover. Currently treating my child like a valuable person and ensuring their start in life is a good one. >
  
  I got kicked out at 18. I appreciate it in hindsight because it forced me to shit or get off the pot. There’s a big difference between kicking a kid out of the nest and maliciously cutting them off. >
  
  I voluntarily left home at 19 and moved in with my bf. My parents were not abusive, but also were not giving me good guidance or assuring me they would help with college. Pretty sure they did not approve of my choice but they made no effort to stop me. 
  My bf turned out to be abusive. By the time I figured it out, my parents had split up. I couldn't move back in with my mother as she had a tiny apartment.  I wouldn't consider moving back in with my alcoholic father under any circumstances.  He threw out all of my personal possessions without any notice to me. I thought it would be ok to leave things there until i established a more permanent home. So I stuck with the abusive bf way longer than I should have. Needless to say this has had long lasting effects in my life. 
  I kept my daughters bedroom hers for years after she moved out just in case she needed to return. And she did a couple of times. I had many talks with her about her plans, what I thought she should do and how I was willing to help her.
  Don't be an asshole to your own children. >
  
  This is a popular opinion, only losers kick their kids out. >
  
  I think you're wrong.  I'm from the South and a lot of parents will either kick the kids out or charge them rent.  I like the idea of charging rent because he/she has to contribute to the household or start developing their own household. >
  
  Just because you lived there and had to accept that it's happening a lot around you doesn't mean it's not wildly stupid. You just accept stupidity as a normal condition if you are surrounded a lot by it. >
  
  I'm curious as to what's stupid? Kicking kids out of the house at 18, I 100% disagree with, but contributing to the household costs as a legal adult can't be a bad thing, surely? >
  
  Well if you get to live at home as an adult then yeah you should bring home some value. Unless you study around the clock. >
  
  in most arab countries you continue to live with your parents until you can afford to rent a similar or better place and sometimes even ppl who can do that choose to stay with their parents not only cuz children aren't a bruden to arab but it is a really wise economic decision 
  to save and enjoy ur 20s instead of paying rent >
  
  Most of them want to move out at that age. Yes as a parent you look after them but that extends to even if, and when they do move. 
  They will make mistakes so it's your job to guide and support them throughout their experience or perhaps you might lose them because you're too stifling. 
  I've encouraged my 18yr old to get his own place with his GF, he has a job he has a GF he has his mother he has me no matter what. I think he's excited and on the verge of becoming a good man,independent and confident.
  We all live together and that's OK but he's mature enough to have his own space. >
  
  Different pants for different people. I was never kicked out. Home till 30. (I know, don’t say it). But my mental was not good enough for me to be alone. That being said I eventually moved out and got married. Personally, I would’ve ended homeless and destitute if my parents kicked me out >
  
  My mom allowed step dad to kick me out at 18. At the time I was working part time during the day and going to community College (all paid for by me) in the evening. 
  The reason was that I argued too much with my younger sister. They gave me six months to work to save up for a car handed me anew laundry basket with detergent and basically showed me the door.
  I was a good kid. I didn't do drugs, worked, went to school, mouthy probably, but is that really the right response?
  My life got very hard after that. I was vulnerable and placed in bad situations around bad people. I was never guided through higher ed and had to figure it out. No financial help at all. 
  I still have trauma over this years later. Hyper independent , unable to let anyone in or trust, very few friends that are long term. I keep people at arm's length and I get panic attacks if my money is not where I'd like it. I hoard it like how other people board food. I never had children, convinced that I was too broken (but also financially vulnerable) did a very long time. 
  This had enormous impact on me. I'm reasonably successful now. I'm okay now. I'm working through the cptsd, now. 
  I went no contact with my mom only last year, when the weight of flashbacks became too much, especially when she rewrites history and acts proud because her kids are self sufficient like she did anything other than throw us in the pool to force us to swim. >
  
  In India, we have a concept of living together as families we respect our elders and live with them as well, and parents don't kick out their kids as soon as they turn 18 but tell them to focus on their careers, health and lives. >
  
  It's abusive I'd you coddle the kid and don't make him earn money first.. But If they don't heed your advice and are lazy.. then it's time for some life lessons >
  
  Yes it 100% is. That’s what my parents did because they wouldn’t stop popping kids out and couldn’t afford having another person in the house. 
  These people are typically sociopaths and already have shitty relationships with their kids. I am completely no contact with my dad because of the shenanigans dude pulled when I was a teen. >
  
  what shenanigans did he pull? >
  
  Most people are stupid, suck, and have no empathy. Many of these people are unfortunately also parents. Wild world >
  
  I agree...don't know if abusive is the right word though. My parents have made it clear to us that our home will be ours forever, and we can come back any time. I don't understand how people can kick their kids out.
  I do come from a South Asian household though, and we tend to live with our parents at an older age. I have no issue living with my parents for the rest of their lives and looking after them in their old age. I help a lot with the cooking, groceries, errands, cleaning etc. I also order and collect all the medications. I also pay for their phone contracts and handle all the techy stuff. I earn a decent salary and I'll give them money if they every need, or pay for holidays for them. >
  
  as someone who got kicked out at 18 and was threatened with it for years before then, yeah it’s definitely a form of abuse >
  
  Some of us don't have the luxury of living with their parents well into adult hood or have support after. If I had a stable loving household I would have loved to live at home. Alas, I did not and was forced to be independent at a very young age. I became independent and successful in large part because of it. Now when my parents want to live with me I say no thanks! I will pay for them and help them but they are never living with me. That boat has sailed. My parents wished they could live with me now. >
  
  Don't take this the wrong way but I think that's a given.  Of course some people won't be able to make it work, but I think we are talking more about overall cultural norms and expectations >
  
  Hard to judge without knowing the totality of the situation. Some children are holy terrors and leave their parents with no other choice. Some children are wonderful and serve as assets and their parents wish they would stay. Some parents are narcissistic nightmares and remaining with them is toxic and possibly lethal and it's for the best that the children are pushed out. Other parents exert so much control over adult children that they couldn't leave if they wanted to. >
  
  I had one of those "kicked out at 18" kids come live in a rent house with me and my roommates. He was out partying literally all night, coming home as I was leaving for work. Never paid rent, ate everyone's food, brought drugs into the house (hard rule for all roommates). Stole clothes, food, makeup, etc. Never contributed a dime and refused to get a job. 
  We kicked him out too. >
  
  Good grief, the word "Abusive" is thrown around to the point it just means "something I don't like." >
  
  For me, I think kids should have a life of their own at least 20. 18 is too young. I’m 18 and I’m currently a non-working student looking forward to studying in a community college and university. I’m definitely planning to live a life of my own once I’ve graduated college. >
  
  You will be 20 before you even blink. If you have a good home situation right now, use it. Save your money and move out at 25, which will come around super quickly. Scraping by in your early 20s has been massively romanticised by movies and TV. It fucking sucks. >
  
  While it sucks, there are upsides. >
  
  What are the upsides? >
  
  You get a better sense of independence. You get real life experience. You understand that life can be wildly unpredictable and the most well thought out plans aren’t full proof. True independence doesn’t happen while you’re living under someone else’s roof. >
  
  imo this is not unpopular, and it is also mostly in the US that this is a thing (idk why honestly it seems a strangely cruel, people at 18 are lost as fuck in life in general). >
  
  Moving out when I was 18 was the best decision of my life. Easier with friends, easier with girls, easier when you wanna kick back and do things your own way, parental independence strengthens you and is honestly rather fun if done right. >
  
  It's great that you had the choice but not everyone had the choice >
  
  So?  That's the same as anything, if you have the opportunity to it's worth it. House sharing with reliable house mates, having a job and spending responsibly give me more personal freedom than I'd ever have had at "home."
  Can you maintain the same standard of living loving parents tend to provide, no, but you're 18 starting your own venture, you're not supposed to have the same purchasing power as a couple, once you get over than and work on yourself the world's your oyster. >
  
  Don’t try to offer a rational counterpoint on Reddit. They just downvote you.  But good job on getting your own place! And that’s a very accurate description- when you start out on your own, you’re not going to have what your parents have, it took decades for them to achieve that! Freedom, learning to manage life and home and finances, etc is very valuable! >
  
  I'm not really bothered by the downvotes, young redditors have an envy problem and the perspective that the world's stacked against them.  
  I say this from the perspective of someone who's 30, moved out at 18 with a  very unstable life at the time, it was one of the best decisions of my life, I wouldn't be the person I am today without the stubbornness and determination to go my own way instead of (As I saw it in my eyes, naievely) "always burdening my parents".
  I don't blame them for it, but but has to be said sometimes that what you "can" do always starts of as an "option you don't have" untill you take decisions, plans and discipline enough to move towards making that an option you can take.
  If you don't achieve something significant to your own personal goals today, just try again tommorow, ask advice, don't just hope for options, make them.  No human being has 0 barriers to cross. >
  
  It is ok only if you prepare your kid all these years up to their adulthood 18 year old moment for the independent life. In other words if you actively gear and prepare your child to support themselves it is ok to set them free at 18. I mean all necessary skills and knowledge that will keep them afloat no matter what.
  However raising a kid and then just dropping them into the darkest place is setting them up to a failure.  It is irresponsible attitude to your own flesh and blood to drop them into a lake and see if they float back up. Also a guaranteed method to ensure you die alone in a shitty rest home when you get old. >
  
  As an 18 year old who was given a one way plane ticket across the country, with no money, place to live or plan, yup it was sink or swim.
  They had the means to help me and they convinced me they didn't. I could have gone to college or even just have a safe place to sleep and food. Now, they want to take credit for making me an independent person, but I did all the work, alone with no support. >
  
  It depends where you live. In the Netherlands this is quite normal .. but then again: free healthcare and free education is a good safety net that should so ensured by every nation. >
  
  In high school my father told me when I turned 18 would start a timer of me either getting a job or going to college or else he would show me the door. I think this is a reasonable approach? What are your thoughts? >
  
  That's reasonable. After graduation from high school, you do need to be working towards something unless there are extenuating circumstances. >
  
  I agree, it's way better to move out after college >
  
  Usually the idea is “kicking the kid out” when they’re 18 only after they’ve gotten some kind of college or job. >
  
  Disagree. On the night of the 18th bday before it strikes midnight parents will throw you out to get away from you sometimes. It does happen >
  
  Everything “does happen” to a certain statistical percentage, but whether or not it happens that way in the vast majority of instances is what’s at debate. >
  
  This isn’t an unpopular opinion. >
  
  Parents kick their kids out, then act shocked that they never want to come back. >
  
  If i was kicked out at 18 i would have been dead. Mental issues and adhd don't mix well with jobs and independance. >
  
  What do you mean, I'm a legal adult and my own responsibility?! You OWE this to me mom and dad, you can't make me grow up! YOU created me, so you OWE me food and shelter! UGh
  DAE have abusive parents who deny them food, clothign and shelter? >
  
  Those same parents: “Why does my adult son/daughter not call me or ever visit me? What did I do wrong?” Lmfao >
  
  Took me 10 years after this incident to finally be stable enough to attend a university and shoot for a degree. I was literally starving for 5 years before things started to calm down. >
  
  Damm what an unpopular opinion >
  
  That's one of the less worse outcomes. People are irresponsible and we need some form antinatalism in all places of the world to protect human dignity or in the very least provide a way to safely die without pain >
  
  This isn’t an unpopular opinion >
  
  I feel like when your 18 you should be helping your family by paying rent money but kicking your child out your house without a proper reason is not fair at all especially in these times when it’s so expensive to get a place of your own >
  
  My parents kicked all 5 of their children out when they reached 18. I ended up couch hopping (staying with random friends, relatives, boyfriends) until I was about 30 because I couldn't get a decent enough job to pay rent. I also put myself through college twice during this time. My first degree was a mistake. Never got a job from it. >
  
  They’re 18. As soon as they hit that number parents have no legal obligation to an adult mooching off them. >
  
  This is a really popular opinion, which turns up every month or so. >
  
  I am not justifying the behavior, but for some, children are a form of income. While a child is a minor, the parent qualifies for government assistance or is eligible for child support. Once the child turns 18, all external forms of financial assistance stops. The child moves from an asset to a liability. >
  
  Ahh, the one time i feel glad i am from SE Asia >
  
  My parents did a slow burn trick to get me out of the house. 
  Once I was done with high school it would start with just questions about life plans and ideas about starting jobs. After a month it was talks on progress and ideas from what others in the family did. Next few months was talk about some amount I'd be able to pay to help with house payments and food money. I figured something out by then and never had to pay anything. I could tell if I stayed longer I would've had to start paying something soon though. >
  
  I couldn't wait to move out, and did so the second I could afford it (at 19). Not because my parents were abusive or anything, but which 18 year old doesn"t crave freedom and independence??? Doesn't want to be able to come and go whenever they want without parents asking when they're coming back? Doesn't want to be able to invite friends over without parents complaining? Doesn't want to leave a mess without parents nagging them to clean? >
  
  Moved out when I turned 18; If you can't move out at 18 it shows a great deal of failure on your parents side. Your inability to be a fully functioning member of society is indicative of your parents inability to raise you right. It's hard but so is life. I'm 19, moved out three days after I turned 18, love my parents still have a room there If I absolutely need to; But me and my sis moved out cause we were raised to be independent. Idk just my two cents >
  
  Abusive? Nah.  If kind of a d move?  Yeah.  But one factor is that kids are quite expensive.  How do you feel about charging for rent and food?  I fall on the no side, but it does do some of that prep. >
  
  Every person I know that was kicked out has been more successful than everyone that was allowed to stay.  A significant amount that were allowed to stay, have never left, and are still living with their parents approaching 40. >
  
  Not unpopular.
  Also a repost. >
  
  Almost 36 and taking care of mom. However if the time comes for me to move out with a SO I'll be financially prepared. >
  
  Why is this posted as an unpopular opinion? Is the opposite is really what most people think? If so we are truly living in a shitty world. >
  
  I think after high school they should be paying rent though. And they shouldn’t be there real long. >
  
  I left my parents house 6 months after I turned 18. Keep in mind that was back in 2003. The world is much different now and it's a lot harder to make a living. I'm not to the belief that you should kick your children out at 18. I also don't believe they should live with you until they turn 30.
  The proper thing to do is give your kids time to figure out life teach them about money finances give them opportunity to work a full-time job to save their money so maybe by the time they're 25 or so if they'll have a little savings and that way they can move out comfortably on their own. I think that's fair >
  
  Her ultimatum was it was either keep going to cult meeting or move out. So I left. At 18. On my birthday. While the rest of the family was out on vacation without me. >
  
  I told my kids this, if you have a full-time ,part timejob and are going to school I'll give you a room with low rent so you can save a little for the future. But my now 18 year old daughter who disrespect us messes up the house and demand everything because she knows it all has till May to move out of my house. It's a two way street people. You show me no respect and swear at me when all I do is clean up after you, you go figure it out for yourself.  Mind you we still buy all the food and supplies for the house and get no help in return. And if your parents are abusive and shitty it should give you more of a purpose to go live your life the way you choose. My parents gave me no chance and kicked me out at 16 because I liked metal music. I've learned to care for me and others alike because life is what we make it. And I have no time for negative attitudes. My motto is this,get it together- do better! Rant over lol >
  
  I've never in my life seen or heard of anyone getting kicked out of their parents house at 18 just because of age.  Now getting kicked out because of a whole list of other reasons and being 18 making it legal that is a different story. >
  
  100% agree! 
  I have an amazing mom and she’s always assured me that she does believe in me and that I can do great things and be independent but I’m also always welcome to stay with her for as long as I need to. >
  
  Well it’s not “child” abuse >
  
  People like to take literally anything they don't agree with and throw "abuse" on it. >
  
  Abusive:
  
  
  extremely offensive and insulting.
  
  
  engaging in or characterized by habitual violence and cruelty.
  
  
  Why do you guys always use words improperly in an attempt to 'make' a point? >
  
  "unpopular opinion" dude reddit is 90% old dudes living with their parents this has to be the most popular opinion on this site >
  
  In Europe it's very common to stay late with your parents.
  I personnally left at 25. And most of my friends did the same. >
  
  Really? I’m from germany and basically everyone i know moved out at the age of 18 (mostly to study and therefore move to a different city but even people who stayed in their hometown moved to shared flats mostly). However, kicking your child out of the house is pretty much unheard of here too. >
  
  Hi from Belgium bro ! 
  Here besides going to university (paid by the parents most of the times), I really do know maybe.. 10-15% of my friends that went full independant by themselves at 18-20/ >
  
  Canadian here, I moved out on my own about a month before I turned 18. I am quite independent. Tho this was back in 1993 and it was a MUCH different world to now, you could afford to do more back then. Rents were reasonable, anytime I moved it took less than a week to get a really nice apartment in my price range, the only reason I ever had roommates was to stave off boredom or help friends that really screwed the pooch and needed help. 
  ​
  Today, my gfs 20something is still here and has no plans to move out, nor the ability, and with the COL now I don't blame her. Hell if I grew up today I'd have stayed with my parents a hell of a lot longer. >
  
  It's for the same reason a bird kicks its babies out of the nest. If you live under your parents for too long, you won't be able to function on your own >
  
  Right at 18?  No.  But I do expect my children to start taking responsibility for themselves.  Job/School/Military.  Those are the choices.  If you get a job, you can live with me for a while so you can save and get on your feet.  If school is close by, I'll do the same, but you still need a part time job.  Military will give you what you need.  But none of my children will get a free ride from me as an adult.  Help?  Yes.  Free ride?  No. >
  
  This is your self-problem 
  western parents did(maybe common case in us). Born in SEA country and it is considered "sin" if you leave yo parents at home. Never heard in my place someone kicked out because someone turn 18, okay some of them leave the home for studying college, do a job , but rare case if someone turn 18 asked to leave lol >
  
  I am not a parent but I am almost 30 and still live my parents. 
  Which on one hand I am grateful for and on the other hand I am itching just to have my own house. 
  But my family doesn't believe I'm ready to be on my own. 
  Just thought I would give a perspective from the other side of things. >
  
  Kicking them out with no preparation or notice is horrible.
  Requiring them to move out at 18 with proper preparation, guidance and notice is fine.
  Kicking them out at 18 after they refuse to contribute around the house and ignore opportunities to grow and prepare, is also fine.
  Coddling them and allowing them live at home past 18 which causes them to fail to grow, mature and learn to take on responsibilities and self-care is abusive. >
  
  You do realize the world isn't like fking America right? Generational living has kids at home supporting the parents with rent due to skyrocking prices. You simply can't do it alone all the time >
  
  Exactly. Well put. I can't stand people who parent like that, or people who make excuses for them >
  
  My mom was a real POS and was generally abusive anyway, she popped her out of the door one evening as I was getting in my car to go to work letting me know I'd no longer have a home to come back to. It was completely out of the blue, there was no argument or any catalyst prior as an excuse. I'd never thank her for it, her intention certainly wasn't noble...but that might have been the best thing she ever did for me. >
  
  I won’t kick my son out when he turns 18, but I will help him in such a way that will make it easier for him to move out at 18 instead of later. For example buying him an apartment or paying for his rent partially or fully until he turns 20. Win win for us both, I get an empty nest earlier and he gets his freedom and independence even if I have to help him a bit in the beginning. As long as he out before I turn 45 then I’m satisfied (I will be 42 when he turns 18). And no you don’t stop being a parent when your child comes of legal age but your role as a parent does change. >
  
  ...not preparing the kid for adulthood during the first 18 years of life is the abusive part.  Turning 18 and getting kicked out is merely the end of the abuse. >
  
  If only that were the end! >
  
  Asians here can't relate... maybe most of us Asian anyways... lol >
  
  Letting your kid live at home till their are in their late 20s is abusive.  When you move out you learn important life lessons on how to take care of yourself.  Sometimes it's hard.  Just because your kids move out doesn't mean you can't help them if they fall down.
  Oh and if you did your job as a parent your kid would be prepared for moving out at 18 >
  
  Not really an unpopular opinion, and I'm pretty sure only a small minority actually do this. Most stay with their parents until ready or willingly move out. >
  
  Seriously this subreddit is pure trash at this point. People don't seem to get the idea you upvote unpopular things. This should have been down voted to oblivion. >
  
  I don't even know how that's normal. The average leaving home age in Italy is probably over 30 now. >
  
  Im that kid….thankfully living with my girlfriend and have a comfortable bed! >
  
  In Switzerland, even if they kick you out, they are legally required to take care of you financially until you finish your studies (including university). Obviously some people still manage to not pay for their kids but it helps >
  
  I swear the term abusive has completely changed in the last decade. >
  
  The term hasn’t changed, it’s only that more and more people are facing the reality that a lot of what has been deemed as acceptable behavior isn’t actually acceptable at all. >
  
  Just seems like younger adults are trying to label things as toxic or abusive when they are faced with a situation that causes any level of discomfort or resistance in life. >
  
  Mental and emotional abuse are more recognized as real abuse now, not just physical. >
  
  The mental fortitude of the younger generations is hopeless. Telling an adult to leave your home isn’t abuse. >
  
  Eh in this economy it kinda is... Considering you're likely going to just end up homeless.
  Where I live (Canada) I'd need to make $25/h minimum to be able to survive with rent. 
  If you were a parent you could let your kid stay with you until they truly have their bearings instead of forcing them to face life in a really scary and under developed way at 18. >
  
  Kinda is….. that’s what I’m talking about labeling something abusive or toxic because it disagrees with you it is remotely difficult. 100% not abuse. No kinda about it. Maybe it’s different here in the US, but I live in one of the most expensive places in the country and could easily get by with between 15-20$. >
  
  I’m actually kinda glad I was kicked out at 19.  My life was going in one direction living at home and after getting the boot, it went in a completely different, better one.”
  Kicked out at 18, bought my house at 25.  No fancy education or crippling student loans.  Just determination and hard work. >
  
  Good for you for living in an area you can/could do that >
  
  I don't get why kids would choose to live with their parents after they turn 18. But that's just me >
  
  Because 18 is still young and it's the age where the most  support is needed psychologically..... What type of parent sabotages their child's life foundation before they even create one... >
  
  Life foundation starts 3-8 when you’re supposed to be raised not to be a shitty person and your personality develops. How is that sabotaging anything, you’re legally able to work most places, and you get place of your own. It’s not really a hard concept. From there you’re suppose to develop your sense of independence further. >
  
  Thank you. Young adults tend to underestimate themselves nowadays. >
  
  Can we not pretend that the job and housing market are anywhere near the same as they were when boomers and gen x were moving out? Back when a job at the mall was all you needed to afford your own apartment >
  
  It’s really not that difficult. Just have a minor sense of fiscal responsibility and you’ll be fine. >
  
  I couldn't even get the cheapest worst apartment where I live if I was working ABOVE the minimum wage, I did the math one time, it's completely hopeless unless I find a job that makes maybe $25/hr + >
  
  This is for unpopular opinions.. >
  
  Yeah this happening only taught me that love was transactional and that I couldn’t (and still can’t) afford it. >
  
  Would never throw my kids out no matter what >
  
  kicks kids out 
  "Make your own decisions you aren't a child anymore!"
  goes NC
  "Why won't you visit me anymore, I worked so hard to feed and clothe you'" (the bare minimum) >
  
  I don't understand. The bare minimum logic also applies to visiting your parents right. I swear, western children are all so unfilial >
  
  Kids don't have the obligation to visit abusive parents. You deciding to get busted in and pip a watermelon out doesn't deserve praise. If you don't give love to your kids don't respect any back >
  
  That might just be an American thing, I've never heard anyone kick their kids out. 
  Either way, I decided to move out at 17 on my own and it was the best decision I've ever made. We're all different I guess >
  
  This isn't an unpopular opinion it's being a basic parent. >
  
  Living at home after 18 is abusive. They did their job, this is their time to walk around the house naked and have sex in the kitchen, but nooooooo Billy can't get his shit together. >
  
  "Billy it's time to move out, i know our generation ruined the housing market but we want to fuck in the kitchen, on the streets you go!" >
  
  For most cases in the US, children should be shown the door at 18-20. Calling it abusive is absurd. I could understand calling it abusive if the child is disabled or something like that, but for a regular adult? Yeah, get the hell outta the house.
  You fundamentally misunderstand what a parent is. A parent is not someone who pays for your stuff until you feel it's time to blossom. A parent's job is to raise you from a baby into a capable, good-hearted, successful adult and all the steps inbetween. I think the core of why you think it's "abusive" is because of your idea of what "failure" and "success" are. To you, failure is not having enough money to spend on fun stuff in your 20's and having to work really fucking hard to make it out there for the first 7 years of adulthood. That's not what failure is. Failure is having a weak character, having a flimsy idea of what really matters in life, procrastinating goals, etc. In other words, you're concerned with protecting your weakness and any metaphorical pin that pops your sheltered balloon is "abusive." >
  
  Being forced to grow up and take care of yourself is just the motivation a young person needs to mature and become self sufficient. My dad made it clear that 18 is when it is time. No more laying around partying and playing video games. When you are broke and hungry you learn, mature and grow up. 
  I had the same policy for my son. He now has a very successful career, a family of his own, and he owns his own home, at 28. >
  
  Still shitty even if it works >
  
  That’s only happening in the usa >
  
  I wholly agree. Parents who throw their kids out are just trying to get rid of a mistake legally >
  
  Some times things at home can be toxic, 
  Making them leave at 18 may be the best thing for everyone.
  What if the teenager , refuses to work or be in education , is violent and steals and takes a lot of drugs, and may smash the house up if any objections are made.
  Don't judge people until you have been in their shoes 
  This may be nobody's fault, even the teenagers who really to a point can't help themselves .
  That is not to say the door should be forever closed, but it may not be the best for everyone at that stage. >
  
  I kicked myself out at 16 >
  
  I didn't know about parents kicking children out when they turn 18 until I started to watch Hollywood movies as a kid. Cuz that culture is not seen everywhere.. It's definitely abusive. If kids wanna leave they can but kicking them out right after school is bad. 16-19/20 is the age when you are confused all the time. You don't know what to do and I personally believe every kid needs their family right by their side to guide them through college and beginning of their career. The reason why parents work hard is to make it easy for the kids but some parents make it more difficult and for what.. to teach them about life they say. We all are going to understand life one way or the other lol. >
  
  My view is split on this.
  Of course it's horrible for a parent to just say "you're not welcome to live here, live on the streets/pay several thousand in rent" if they havent given the child preparation.  
  On the other hand,
  If preparation was given then I do not see the problem actually. >
  
  You shouldn't have to rush to be out the door on the 18th bday night tho >
  
  Did I say that?
  Edit: I reread TS and I see your point. You are correct. >
  
  Got kicked out at 20 when I was about to sign a trainee contract for 3 years, I am now 25, failed that trainee position, have trouble finding a job. It fucking sucks having a whole household to manage while also having to take care of business, most of those things being completely new. >
  
  Specially in this economy >
  
  Guess this is in a western context. For Asian families, staying together with your parents is the norm, I rarely see kids staying away from their parents until they get married and have kids of their own >
  
  In my culture most kids stay with their parents (rent free because it’s a weird thing for parents to accept rent they will absolutely not accept it) until they get married or move in with their SO. >
  
  I lived at home till I was about 24. I really wanted to move out, but I kept having false starts like getting medically discharged from the military twice, for example. Thankfully, my parents let me stay as long as I needed to. They didn't even charge me rent. >
  
  That’s a very popular opinion >
  
  Those are the parents who don't actually want to be a parent. They hate responsibility. >
  
  Not even remotely an unpopular opinion >
  
  I'm lucky mine weren't like this, but I couldn't imagine doing this to my kid.
  Like do you want them to hate you and go no contact, cause making them homeless is a good way to start >
  
  Me and my 3 brothers all moved out at 18 or sooner because my mom was/is so toxic. For 2 of us it was very difficult to get started because we weren't going to college or joining the military. There were many times I'd sit at home with no food, lights, or water. 
  I can't imagine being forced to live like this by one of your parents. It'd definitely form a bit of resentment. >
  
  Not an unpopular opinion.  Common sense. >
  
  Honestly most people shouldn’t even have children at this point. 
  A household where one parent works and one doesn’t is no longer feasible (at least in the US). Childcare costs are outrageous. 
  Everyone I know in this situation only makes it work by pawning their child off on their parents (free childcare). 
  The only reason I have for being a parent would be for my own personal vanity. 
  I’d much rather rescue a dog. >
  
  Seriously one of the weirdest things we've accepted as a society. My son is 8 right now, I can't imagine telling him to get lost in 10 years because that's how it is? No. That's not to say you shouldn't raise your kids to be independent but life is unpredictable as fuck and your kids should always have a home base. >
  
  I think the generations that used to do that are too old to have kids now, so I don't think it is as prevalent now as it was before, though there certainly are leftover douches who have that mindset imprinted on them as well. >
  
  
  being a parent doesn’t stop at 18. 
  
  Agreed! I'm a mother of 3 children, ages 25, 16 and 12, and I understand that my role as a mother is a lifelong responsibility which evolves with the needs of each child. >
  
  In proper countries it's even illegal. Just don't have kids, please, nobody needs another twat like you. >
  
  I'm sorry but I don't understand how people are justifying the independence by moving out while they are having to pay more money for rent/food and work more to rent the new place all the while balancing studies. You are taking on more unnecessary stress and expenditure. How does that help you at all? And special independence- are they getting any more independence than they were?
  Also as you grow old, your parents become less and less capable of taking care of themselves. They took care of you when you couldn't. Shouldn't you as well? Would you rather send them to some distant care home? Given you do have a normal(no-toxic) family, why would you not want to stay with them and enjoy their company and the warmth and comfort? Seems better than staying alone!
  Read somewhere that the concept of moving out was created to benefit capitalism, doesn't seem too far fetched. >
  
  oh boy another popular opinion >
  
  At what age does living with your parents become abusive to them? >
  
  Real, a lot of parents shouldn't be parents, they see it as having kids they can drop the moment they turn 18 and not creating a whole new person that's going to need support until they can achieve independence on their own. >
  
  These may also be the parents that wonder why their kids go "no contact" or "low contact" soon after.  
  And also wonder why they aren't allowed to spend any time with their grandkids.
  Finally, there's probably also something about what Nursing Home they go to once they can't look after themselves.
  Some people are odd. >
  
  Not necessarily an unpopular opinion but apparently wide spread in the US >
  
  Pro lifers want to force parenthood on unwilling participants AND expect them to love the child unconditionally too? NO. There are plenty of vslid reasons to expect the child to leave at 18. Finances are a huge one. Also, privacy and independence. You can still be a “parent” and try to help your kids without giving up all of your dreams and living a miserable life having to cater to another human for it’s entirety. There’s zero reason an 18 year old can’t move out. Renting a room isn’t expensive if you work full time. Student subsidies are helpful for those that can’t work full time due to school. Joining the military is an option. As long as there are options, wether those are options the child..no the now adult! wants, isn’t really important. There is a difference between good,great, and amazing parents. Doing what is legally required makes a good parent. Anything more just raises the bar. But we can’t blame people for just doing what was necessary while ALSO blaming people who choose to not have children when they know they wouldn’t be an amazing parent. >
  
  This isn't an unpopular opinion, every person with the capability of feeling even a smidge of empathy thinks this way >
  
  Murican parents in a nutshell. >
  
  Is that true? It must be a regional thing. I’ve never heard of that being a widespread “issue” in the northeast where I grew up at least. Parents actually supported their children. >
  
  It tends to be in poorer parts of the country, ie, conservatives >
  
  As with most things awful. >
  
  When someone just turned 18 they're usually still in high school >
  
  I'm not sure how abusive and this context goes together. But hey, if that's how you feel then all the power to you. >
  
  Sounds like you took it personally because you're one of those shit parents lol >
  
  I don't have kids and I didn't take it personally lol. I can for the most part relate to what you said. Just not sure I'd agree with calling it abusive. Sounds like you're taking it personally with the hostility lmao. >
  
  You should want to move out at 18. Living with your parents blows. >
  
  Not everyone CAN. Pretty sure they would if they could! >
  
  I could but I don't want to xD >
  
  You completely forgot all the situations in which the 18yo is basically a functioning adult, with a job etc. 
  My brother is an example. He got into breakdance and acrobatics as a kid, and by 16 was already working as a dance/acrobatics instructor, making more money than my Mom. When he was 19, my parents suggested he should move out, not to get rid of him but so that he could explore the world and grow as a person.  
  So he left, worked in Norway for a while, then got back, and started his own Acrobatics school with 2 friends.   
  He was fully capable of self supporting at 18, and a successful coach/businessman by 20. "Kicking him out" was actually good decision.  
  So, whether kicking your kid out by 18 is good or not, mostly depends on whether they are a functional, financially self-sufficient adult, or still a punk-ass child. >
  
  mmm i wouldn’t say it’s that black & white, you & your brother’s experiences are not the billions of other people living on this planet. it depends on a lot of different factors, but i do agree that when there’s a will there’s a way. >
  
  OP spoke in absolutes, as if all 18yo people were identical. I just wanted to show a counterexample. >
  
  i see. but i do agree that sometimes you can’t coddle your children… i got kicked out at 19 and in my personal opinion it was the best thing for my personal growth. i had to grow up and just learn, slept in my car for a while. i lived with my grandparents and they were just old fashioned as they put it, my grandpa bought his first house at 22. obviously this was way back in the 1960s so they could easily afford a house, but it’s just how they see it. it’s not like they didn’t help me, they did: rides to work and some cash for gas here & there, and food. but they wanted me to do it on my own, as in put a down payment for a place and pay rent etc. my car was a gift to me and i do know that’s a lot more than what some people would get so i’m grateful. i resented them at first but over time they started helping more once they saw i was actually doing things for myself. i will admit i was a little bit of a lazy teen so it did shape me up quite a bit. now i live in my own place a couple minutes away from them and we have a good relationship. >
  
  If a parent has educated their son or daughter how to live on their own, how to shop, cook, clean, etc....and if a parent has helped their son or daughter to secure a stable and sufficient source of income, and the parent has helped their son or daughter to secure  a place to live, perhaps even purchased a house for them, plus reliable transportation is available, then its all good.
  But we all know that 98 percent of parents have not done those things by 18.  And I don't care if the child is now 38, the parents are obliged until they have done all these.
  Here in Japan, as used to be the case in the U.S., lots of older children live with their parents.   You will never guess why Japanese are not buried under a mountain of debt like so many Americans. >
  
  Your parents owe you nothing. Once you're 18 you should have a full time job. And that full time job should be enough to cover rent somewhere. 
  It is not abusive for your parents to want what's best for you. Being independent as early as possible is how you succeed in life >
  
  18 years old with zero skills. What job are you getting that pays enough for rent? >
  
  This is totally true, and would argue is not unpopular at all. >
  
  This isn't an unpopular opinion my mans. >
  
  I like to think that majority of parents actually do not kick out their children as soon as they reach the age of 18, it's just that, generally, children move away to different cities to study, and while studying they tend to look for jobs and apartments to support themselves. Of course, there are those rare cases where the children actually live in toxic/abusive households, but then, IMO, they themselves would like very much to get away from it even sooner. >
  
  I was diagnosed with cancer towards the end of highschool. Basically lived in the city with dad to get treatment and once it was done he started hitting me. Bashing me leaving me scared, trying to find friends houses to stay at yet it never happened. He pushed and pushed to get me out, my mother looking on. Never once saying a thing. I was 18 and he broke my stuff and I just grew more scared and felt even more alone than ever before. Losing all my friends and just being in an awful place. Till I moved out. >
  
  r/antinatslism >
  
  It made sense 50 years ago, ya know. When Mcdonalds would get you a trailer. Housing market actually wanted young people to move into all these brand new houses. 
  Im a huge fan of generation housing, but same time IF we had a functional economy being kicked at 18 wasnt the end of everything like it is today. 
  Modern times though? Impossible. >
  
  I don't look at it as being abusive but I do look at it as being mean and 18-year-old really doesn't know s*** >
  
  What is this trend. I see posts all the time about this but I’ve never seen anything about parents kicking their kids out or making them pay rent at 18. I’ve seen 5 posts this month about parents making their kids pay rent. >
  
  When you think about it it is a positive thing to get kicked out at 18 because you will gey rid of your abusive parents easily. >
  
  Tbf, i was a real shithead >
  
  Maybe because people tho think of themselves as "good mothers" or "good fathers" have no introspection and never once thought that they wronged their child. People who are very critical about themselves, in my opinion, usually don't think of themselves as good parents, but as doing the best they can and hoping it's enough. >
  
  Yes, but also not “until they’re comfortable” plain and simple: they have to try and make their own lives work. I’m with you on the fact that 18 is not a magical point where you’re on your own no matter what; on the other hand, you have to start doing something to get out “asap” not because I don’t want you, but because it’s right. >
  
  I was pushed out the summer I graduated despite not being sure what I wanted and wanting to stay home for a year and decide on that. Instead I got sent to a rip off tech school that I was forced into choosing and ended up with about 10k of debt and nothing to show for it by the time I decided to quit that thing. 
  I haven't forgiven them for it, and even though I have made an ok life for myself I could have done a lot better with some support instead of just being pushed out on my own immediately. The only real positives I got out of it are resilience and a determination to stand up for myself before being forced to do anything I don't want to do ever again.
  My partner received the same treatment, she was out of the house and working overnights in a plastics factory at 19 when I met her. 
  With the world the way it is right now, I especially think it would be shitty to do, so we are definitely going to give our boys time and help getting started that neither of us got. >
  
  Abusing the word "abusive" is annoying. >
  
  Why wouldn't you move out as soon as you get into college? Do parents in the US not send their kids money when they move out? >
  
  While I agree with your premise, I still think some kids benefit from being kicked out. Especially the ones who do poorly in school AND don’t work. If you do one or the other and you get kicked out then yeah that’s a little harsh >
  
  My moms parents did this to her and her siblings (they got to stay until they finished HS). They all joined the Air Force to get away. It traumatized my mom to the point where she over did it on us kids (and me her first born especially) by removing any obstacles from our lives and destroying my ability to be self sufficient.