comment: >
  
  OP is implying that, but why should we expect Muslim men to be more involved in how their wives keep their faith than any other religion is?  
  Moreover, I think that the comparison is broken since the quaran has different requirements for how men and women dress.  Men are supposed to be covered "knee to navel" and must wear a beard.  Women have different requirements based on which exact religion within Islam they follow.  It would be different if OP was talking about men forcing women to uphold their faith while failing to do so themselves, but that is not the case in any of OPs examples.
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  I'm going to address the specific point  "it's not about Islam"
  It's absolutely about Islam.  The culture, values, and ideals in Islam support that pattern of behavior, and we can have a separate, more nuanced discussion about that if you want, but to take Islam out of the equation entirely is wrong in most cases.
  Remove the specifics from your statement and it reads "if your partner is upholding a belief, and you are upholding that belief in a differing way or to a differing level, then it isn't about the belief"
  My wife definitely only goes to church because she's Christian.  I don't, but I haven't abandoned my faith either.  Is it fair to say that my wife going to church not about Christianity?  What if she dresses modestly for the same reason?  What if she dresses very modestly? 
  Again, I'm not arguing the morality or consistency of Islam or any of the culture/behaviors surrounding it, only that Islam is a meaningful factor in the lives and behavior of women who routinely wear clothes associated with Islam. >
  
  I think in general you are right, but it seems that OP is implying coercion or force from the hudbands. With that implication, I don't think your scenario applies because you aren't making your wife go to church while you stay home.